Omaha daily bee., 1889-10-13
CONNCBlAI.ITIES.

He-Daring. will you love me when I'm
gone: She-Tes, if you are not too far
gone.
A kiss in the dark is delicious, observes an
amorous contemporary. This, we venture to
remark was not intended to be published as
news.
"Joe, your wife looks as fresh as morn
ing glory.n 'Blll, / wish she was morning
glory Why so, Joc:" Because she'd shut
up at night"
from her dead husband Chicago women
have their hands full IN keeping divorced
from their live husbands.
1t is said several white women have ex-
pressed Il desire to marry Sitting Bull.
They should wear danger signals so that
white u.en may be able TO keep away from
them.
"rm so sorry" she murmured; 'I'll be a
sister to your Thanks. In my childhood
| never had sister and | so longed for one.
My prayer has been ansWered-you are the
seventh sister"
the young men object TO buying ice creamn'
II don't know as it 49," said George. "Be.
cause if they do would just rs soon have
little terrapin stew any time.h
The Young New Yorker who was recently
forced to commit matrmony for no reason
other than the BRIDES desire to marry him,
can find sOlace in the thought that there Is
such thing as cheap and noseless divorces
in New York.
at seems queer" remarked Mr.. Gazzam
to his wife, that the Indians should have
been familiar with the file and saw before
the arrival of the whites" ''Were they!n
she asked in surprise. Yes my dear; the
Indian file and the ChicasaW."
In bringing suit for breach OF promise
Hartford girl remarked that six different
men had previously gone back on their
promises to marry her The defendant will
be willing TO pay little something for his
escape if he is "A philosopher.
Mrs. DE Style-My dear, your wardrobe is
three months behind the fashion. Why
don't YOU have your husband buy you some
afford ii; he has no money Mrs. DE style
No money! We'll, Well! can't imagine
what on earth you married him for.
Young husband (to his pretty wife, after
the reception at General Blanks Why, the
general acted just as though lie was going to
kiss you. What would you have done ii he
had kissed yOun Wife-"I would have
smacked him right in the mouth" Husband
(meditatively)- that's just what l
thought"
Emelinem"Have you heard how Jennie's
foreign nobleman, wasn't he:' Emehne-
'He pretended to be, but he wasn't
Agnes-"And 50 she was deceived, poor
girl" Emeline- Yes, horribly deceived. He
proved to be nothing but "A rich American"
IN lhe OlueH udyb u IcllOW ndu OlLeH 10
walk four or iiYe miles to see his girl, and
most of the courting was done in the chim-
ney corner while the old forks pared apples
or sheled corn close by. In these days the
boys hire special trains to run 'em out and
back. order the old folks off TO bed and
marry on siA or eight weeks courtship.
He-You are the only daughter. She-Yes.
He-I should think your father would be
willing TO set the fellow who marrles you up
in business She-Well, / don't know Pa
has made that offer six times now, aud moth
ing ever came of II any time; but, George if
you want me il might do 70 see the old man
about II.
When Mennonite young lady is married,
her relatives do not worry their heads about
the social position OF the guests. There is
something free-hearted aud hospitable in this
notice, which was posted i'll prominent places
in Gretna, Manitoba: Everybody invited
TO attend the marriage af Mr., ). /. Bargen
aud Miss Anna Penner. The ceremony will
be held by the Rev John Funk at the Ger
man school house, next Sunday (25th inst,
at the hour Of O'Clock IN Tue morning"