Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-03


and replies as follows:
RELATIVES SHOULD CALL FIRST.
tx E. s." asks:
Should the young lady call on the relatives Ct
her fance or should they call on her?
They should call on her first, of course.
SHOULD HE ASK HER PARENTS?
"a Gentleman" asks perplexing question:
wish to marry lady. She has consented,
but will not allow me TO ask her parents Now,
will it be proper for me to ask them without
her consent?
We should say t'yes' at first glance, but can
not, on second thoughts, decide so delicate q
question.
"Countryman" saws: ~ wish to know if it is
silly or improper, in speaking of my wife, to
call her Lady Hail. in speaking of any
married woman as lady so and so?''
1t is joke, of course, to call any American
woman by a title, but a harmless one. as it de-
ceives no one.
AS TO SHAKING HANDS.
*" asks: ''Is it proper to shake hands
when introduced?'
1t is the hearty American custom TO do SO,
and very cordial and charming, but it is not
etiquette abroad. However, if the hand is
offered respectfully, no one is offended 1t is a
very disagreeable habit, however, if the hand
shaker is very strong, and crushes the bones Of
a lady's hand
A PRINCE ALBERT ALWAYS.
A. H W.-The proper dress of a groom az a
o'clock wedding is always Prince Albert
frock coat, and gray or pearl colored trousers
colored neckIie, or white Lord Stanley, and
light gloves.
THE INITIALS ON THE RING.
81. B. 81 asks: (which should be engraved
on the engagement ring, the gentleman's or
ladys initials?n
The initials of both, with the date, should be
engraved
COURTsHIP AND PROPOSALS.
He also goes on to ask: The object Of q
eourtship is to furnish both parties an oppor-
tunity of finding out each others ways, char
acteristics conditions and so on before the
final word is spoken. IF that be so, what harm
can there be in q young man paving attention
to young lady SIX months, or year even,
without proposing?
We never hea1d this question asked before
1t is supposed that the gentleman goes on pay
ing attention for six months or six years. If
the young lady can stand him, until they both
decide that they cannot live without each
other. Still, a diIly daily suitor must expect
some fine day to see the object of his hearts
desire stolen from him by a man who knows
his own mind better. Dean Swift said that
mans attentions to a lady should never be SO
violent as to alarm, vague as to be mis-
understood" 1t should be generously done on
the mans part, for he is the only one who can
make choice. Women have to take what
comes, but men can pick and choose.
'sV. Benne" asks: 'tIf young lady's parents
are living, is it proper for her to issue an invi-
tatiOn TO an evening dance or card party with
out mentioning their names%'
Of course II is not. All invitations should be
in the name of the mother.
GOING TO A DANCE.
LILA Sheppard" asks: 'Is it proper for a
young lady to go to the door when gentleman
calls for to 90 to a dance? When they come
home should she ask him to call?
- She should not go to dance with young
gentleman without her mother or chaperon,
and they should take him.
NO. TAKE UP THE RUGS.
Jane asks; rs it proper to put crash on
The practice of putting crash over carpets
proved so unhealthy to the dancers, on account
of the fine fuzz which rises from it in dancing
that it is now almost wholly abandoned, and
the parquet floors are SO almost universal, and
dancing so much more agreeable on them, that
ladies have the rugs taken up and allow the
dancing on the floor.
THE TEA ROOM.
She also asks: SHOULD l have tea room
open at ballT'
In the majority of luxurious houses a tea
room is open from the beginning to the end of
a dance, where bouillon, tea and coffee are
served with plate of sandwiches for those
who cannot eat heavy suppers. A large bowl
of ICED lemonade should also be there, as this
is the most grateful refreshment to all dancers.
JACK AT A BALL.
Jack Spiders" asks: What shall do on en-
tering a ball room?n
First ind your hostess and her daughters,
then find your host if you can. most difficult
undertaking. Young men are very much to be
censured however, who do not find their host
ana pay him every respect. Pater familias is
sometimes thought TO hold a very low place IN
his own house, and indeed to be good for MOTH
ing but to draw checks. This would be indi-
cative of SO low social condition that we need
hardly to refer to it, No man should leave an
other mans house after accepting hls hospital
ity without bowling 10 his host.
FORMAL AND INFORMAL sUPPERs.
Camilla asks: what is the difference be-
tween formal supper and an informal one?'
An informal supper may be placed on the ta-
BILE and left to the guests to partake of without
the servants being present after the opera or
theater. 1t might consist of oysters on the
half shell, pair of cold chickens, a salad of
chickens or HOLSTERS, or of celery and lettuce.
The champagne, ready for opening could be on
side table with change of plates, and the
gentlemen could serve the ladies. The sherry
and claret could be left on the table.
A formal supper has every characteristic of
dinner. except the soup and fish.
The table should be laid as for dinner with
centerpiece of fruit or flowers Three kinds
of wine should be put on the Uable-sherry Ma
deira, Burgundy-or, if the host prefers, only
clares and champagne need be offered. The
guests should find oysters on the half shell
with little forks before them.
Then cups of bouillon with little gold spoons
or the more popular clam juice, now so fashiona-
ble.chicken croquettes or lobster farce may well
be the second course. Sherry should be served
with this. The third course may be hlet de
beuf, or canvasback ducks, mushrooms on toast,
gTas or any Jelied meats; after this the ices and
dessert. For the gentlemen brandy cordals
and for the ladies creme demeuthe.
Tue Germans would offer you wild boar
head cheese, pickles, goose flesh, dried sau-
sages, cheese and salads for supper every even
ing. The French are light eaters and their
suppers are very light. But in England the
suppers are very heavy. The Princess of Wales
eauB a hearty meal-mutton chops, eggs on
toast and everything she lkes-for supper
every night. Americans have not such diges-
GIon
DINNER INVITATIONS.
''Maria" asks: How should informal dinner
invitations be written?'
By the lady herself in the first person, as;
MY DEAR MRS. SMITH-Will you and your
husband dine with us on Monday at o'clock?
Only small party. Yours cordially.
HENRIETTA TEMPLE.
A CAUDLE PARTY.
Mrs. Young Mother asks: How shall give
q caudle arty, whom shall l invite and what
shall give themp
The caudie party is given when young master
or miss is about six or eight weeks old. The
caudle should be made by an old and expert
enced hand, as 1t is delicious if well made.
It is oatmeal Cruel boiled to a fine Jelly, with
spices, Madeira or rum, Spices rasins currants
and citron. 1t is a sort of elongated plum pud-
ing, which one can drink. This beverage
should be supplemented by splendid spread,
and the most intimate friends and the family
are invited.
If the baby and mamma are well he should be
taken to church to be baptized and brought
home for the caudle. The godfather and god
mother give presents, silver cup or porringer,
a check for 500 600 in the cradle, or any other
such little gift. The presents are often given
at the caudle party. Old-fashioned spinsters
good luck, and are particular that he should be
carried upstairs before he is carried down.
The invitations are generally written to a
caudle party by the lady or some intimate
-aan.-. 49, l. H.