davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

Ii On is the name of the manager
of the Chinese theatrical company in
New York. 1t strikes us that he
ought to be the advance agent.--Nor-
ristown Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

When man affirms that "there's
lots of money in leather" don't dis
pute him-purses are made of leather.
-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

Happy father-Joe, old boy, give
me suitable names for my twin babies.
Joe-Are they boys or girls :
Girls.
How will Kate and Duplicate do =?
-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

A financier-Dorothy, think you
are dreadfully extravagant to buy all
those things
But, my dear Rufus, had them
charged. Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

Well, Mr.. Assessor, what are you
going TO make out of your boy?
think he will do for a policeman,
for / can never find him when / want
him.-Fliegende Blatter,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

Bananas, like wedding guests, are
always ready to throw the slipper af-
ter the pairing comes off-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

Perriwink-Aw, Mr.. Hardhead, is
it true that cigawettes affect the brain?
Mr.. Hardhead-No. Those who
have brains do not smoke cigarettes.
Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

The latest slander OH the dude is
that one bumped his head against 4
cobweb stretched across the sidewalk
and had to be carried home with a
cracked skull.-Fun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07
MICHIGANC CENTRAL
"The Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect

#Daily. Daily except saturday All other
trains daily except Sunday. Parlor cars ON day
j. WHITING, Ticket Agent
o.w. RUGGLEs, G. p. & T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

A genius-Who is the author of
fiction whose skill you most admire,
Mrs. Marriedayear?
Mrs. Marriedayear promptly
NV husband.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07


'ENA, MICH, WE'D
WIT AND HUM0R.
A sweet girl-Carrie Mel.-Ex.
A sailor girl-Mary Ner.-Ex.
An actress-Marie Onette.-Ex.
An electric spark-making love b
telegraph.-Ex.
The blacksmith YIELDS iron wit
sealing whacks.-Ex.
Very often the bluntest man make
the sharpest points.-Ex.
Can the maker of flags be classe
as standard author Y--Baltimor
American.
The shoe dealer will do work thu
is beneath other people.-Yonkel
Statesman.
The note of the prima donna is NJ
gotiable only when endorsed by th
public.-Life.
Bananas, like wedding guests, al
always ready to throw the slipper a
ter the pairing comes off.-Ex.
When man affirms that "there
lots of money in leather" don't di
pute him-purses are made of leathe
-Ex.
The bad small boy, when his motl
er calls, is like the echo. He answer
but he doesn't come.--Somervill
Journal.
One would naturally suppose ths
an engine has to be hot before it ca
raise steam, but the fact is it has
be coaled.-Ex.
A pocketbook made of rattlesnak
hide, which is so repulsive to ladit
that they won't touch it, is hayln
quite sale among married men,
Elk.
Man is not the only victim to til
combination craze. Even ducks 1
soon as they hatch their eggs start {
once to pool their issues.-Baltimor
American.
Ii On is the name of the manage
of the Chinese theatrical company i
New York. 1t strikes us that h
ought to be the advance agent.--Nol
ristown Herald.
A fnancier-Dorothy, | think yo
are dreadfully extravagant to buy a
those things.
But, my dear Rufus, | had ther
charged,-Life.
Perriwink-Aw, Mr.. Hardhead,
it true that cigawettes affect the brain
Mr.. Hardhead-No. Those VIII
have brains do not smoke cigarette:
Free Press.
A genius-Who is the author {
fiction whose skill you most admire
Mrs. Marriedayear?
Mrs. Marriedayear promptly
My husband.-Ex.
The latest slander OH the dude
that one bumped his head against
cobweb stretched across the sidewal
and had to be carried home with
cracked skull.-Fun.
Well, Mr.. Assessor, what are yo
going TO make out of your boy?
l think he will do for policeman
for l can never find him when / wan
him.-Fliegende Blatter.
Happy father-Joe, old boy, civ
me suitable names for my twin babies
Joe-Are they boys or girls
Girls.
How will Kate and Duplicate do
-Ex.
"The sunhower is the most concei1
ed flower of the vegetable kingdom,
remarked the judge.
"How is that? ?" asked the ma jor.
"It has the big head. ."-Pittsbur
Chronicle-Telegrapb.
Fair tourist-Oh, how interesting
Those are real cowboys, aren't they
What hardy, rugged creatures the
are ! suppose their every day lii
is fraught with the greatest dangers
Guide-Yes, mum twas only la'
week we hung three of them for hors
stealing.-Puck.
Flossie (after the feast of melons J
8Mamma," she said, pressing he
hands wearily upon her stomach, "m
sash is Just like window sash, isn't til
"In what way, dear ?" asked tn
mother smilingly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

The note of the prima donna is me-
gotiable only when endorsed by the
public.-Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

Honest barber-Mr. jerks, you
know never bother my customers
about buying my hair restoratives and
such things, but | must say to you in
all candor that your hair is fast dis
appearing dreadful fast. Now, my
Elixir of Life if applied in time
Mr.. jerks (sadly)-No use, my
friend. Nothing can stop my hair
from coming out but death or divorce.
-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

The shoe dealer will do work that
is beneath other people.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

Flossie (after the feast of melons,
"Mamma," she said, pressing her
hands wearily upon her stomach, "my
sash is Just like window sash, isn't itY"
"In what way, dear ?" asked the
mother smilingly.
Because it's around the pains"
she replied Observation-Disclosures
Republican.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

3 10 NlI 80 N AlSeri dIIlNei VI ~ "V
sDaily except Monday.
Parlor cars on day trains trains between Alpena
and Detroit,
ii. NJ. REEVES, MILO EASTMAN,
Agent, Alpena. Genl supt'
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

Mrs. Parvenu-Mr. Travers, you
know everybody. Who, is that pretty
girl over there, sitting on the divang
Mr.. Travers-That is one of my sis
ters.
Indeed You don't look as if you
belonged to the same family.
Mr.. T. (sadly)-No; and we never
shall.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

Can the maker of flags be classed
as a standard author ?--Baltimore
American.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07
WIT AND HUMOR.

The blacksmith YIELDS iron with
sealing whacks.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07
Detroit, Bay City & AIpena R.R'

Mail and Accom- Mail and Accom-
EXnress mediation. Express. mediation.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-08-07

Very often the bluntest man makes
the sharpest points.-Ex.
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
PRePARINe FoR rHE light.

Five Thousand People VIII See the sulIf.
van and Kilrain Combat.
NEW ORLEANS, July 1.-The preparations
for the kilrain-Sullivan fight are progress
ing smoothly. Applications for tickets and
special cars are being constantly received
by Bud Renaud, who has charge Of the ex.
cursion. The Southern Athletic club, Of this
city, has engaged three special coaches foi
members ol the club and their guests and
several more have been engaged by the vari-
Gus social clubs Of this city.
On Monday, Ju.y s, the first train TO leave
the city will start at a. m, and will be O
special train Of ten cars, the occupants pay
ing SIS each. This train win be followed q
few minutes later by train Of twenty cars
or more, all reaching the battle ground in al
hour.
1t Is confidently expected that the hgh
will eommence at a. rs. and the excursion
ists return to the city by noon It i gener
ally expected that at least 5000 people viii
be at tue ring side.
The police regulations will be under tn
charge Of Capt Tom Jameson, Of Meridian
Miss
The captain is known as an efficient AM
resolute officer, who can always have a pose
Of good men at his command.
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
a wnd etor, frnm the weat.

SAN FRANCISCO, July 1.-The Chronicle
prints sensational story, declaring that tbs
suspect "Slmonds,n VINO is connected with
Crouins murder as the purchaser OF the
furniture Of Carlson's cottage, in Chicago, il
ON this coast, and that his real name is
Morris Walsh, an old Fenian. Luke Dillon
declared that Sirnonds Is an old friend OF his,
and that he had his photograph Now the
only near trend OF Dillon ON the coast Is
Morris Walsh. He left here in 1886, going
10 Europe with Dillon tn two uaveled on
the continent parting in Spain, and
Walsh returned to Philadelphia He ar
rived here on May 10, and on May q
sailed as regular seaman ON board the Pana-
ma steamer Acapulco under his own name
His description tallies precisely with that OF
the suspect Simonds Two other men, who
registered as Richard w hliams and c. Smith.
also sailed with Walsh on the steamer as
seamen. Neither had ever made a voyage
before out Of San Francisco. Williams bears
strong resemb. ance 10 the description Of tha
suspect Williams, who Is wanted in Chicago.
The Acapulco arrives here on July II. and
Walsh and bis companions will be required
70 show where they were between February
/ ana May %. Several Clan-ns- Gael men
here believe that Walsh is Smonds and that
he and Williams had hand in the murder.
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
From To-day at IL o'clock and
Until the 4th at IL o'clock.

From to-day at 1 ? o'clock until the 4th of
July at II o'clock we'll continue our i'm
mensely popular Ten Dollar Sale of Gentle
mems Fine Suits, going last weeks offer "one
better" To do this we've taken about two
hundred fine gentlemen's All-Wool Suits at
Fifteen Dollars, about one hundred Four
teen Dollar Suits and fifty to eighty Twelve
and Thirteen Dollar Suits and put them all
in at $1,000. These are the accumulations
of lots that have run low and. rely upon it,
they are not the worst that run low, the ma
jority of EN-, as you will see, are our regular
Fourteen Dollar Suits, and, without the ad-
diton of Fifteen Dollar Suits, they'd be the
biggest values in the world The Suits which
Ten Dollars will buy today are, we assure
you, our Choicest Tailor Suits-not the most
expensive but the most popular Our regular
Fifteen Dollar Cassimeres for $40. Our regu-
lar Fourteen Dollar Worsteds for $40. Our
regular Twelve and Thirteen Dollar Cheviots
at $40. Our regular Twelve Dollar Blarney
and Bannockbum Tweeds from across the sea
for $40. Our Popular Imported English
Serges, Blue, Black and Brown, $Io, anc
Colors Guaranteed. These are textures anc
they're tailored by hand in correct styles
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
FooLHARoY GRAHAM.
His Last Life Barrel Proves Dismal
Failure.


Failure.
NIAGARA FALLS, July 1-Graham's life
barrel, which was to carry this foolhardy ad-
venturer over the Falls, has proven a miser-
able failure. Ever since Graham went through
the rapids he expected to make public OK
hibition, but failing TO interest the railroad
companies and others In his scheme be decided
20 make the trip on July without any pub
lie announcement His friends, finding that
they couldn't prevail upon him to give up the
trip, persuaded him to try the experiment Of
sending the barrel over alone.
Accordingly some Of Graham's friends
visited Lasalle and set the boat asylft As Il
passed out Of sight over the ledge opposite the
Sister Islands it was seen TO spin around like
a top. Graham had gone to the waters edge
to pick up the barrel when it came over the
Falls The first intimation they had Of its
arrival was several broken staves floating
past, one of which bore the name of the craft,
World" Several pieces were secured, the
largest being three slaves When asked what
would be his next move, Graham replied: III
am going to build another, and / viii YET
build one that viii carry me safely over the
Falls" He is very much disappointed, but
does not seem disbeartened by his failure. A
comparison of time shows that In less than
thirty minutes after the barrel was cut loose
from the boat the pieces were picked up be-
low the Falls. Graham says the craft was
the strongest ever built to go over the Falls,
and that it did not draw ten inches Of water
Strength would seem 10 have little TO do viii
IL, as an empty soap box went over and camt
out all right only few minutes before.
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
A BANK LOSES 100000.
The President and Cashier sued for That
sum by the Directors

lNDTANAPoLIs, July IAN important and
SENSATIONAL suit has been filed IN the supreme
court here The directors of the old First
National bank are the plaintiffs and allege
that A. d. Lynch and John X McCutcheon,
president and cashier, respectively, have been
guilty Of violating the national banking law
In reference TO loans, and that the bank lost
$500, 600 through this illegal use Of its funds.
The law provides that banks shall not loan
more than 10 per cent of their capital stock
10 any one firm or individual, and as the
banks stock was s40O, 600 the limit in this
case was $4,000 The complaint then alleges
that Brown n Boyd, grain Dealers were
loaned sl4, 900, .he Western Elevator com
pany $50, 900, and another firm s25, 900 in ex.
cess OF the legal amount In order TO concea
these loans the cashier and president kept the
books In such manner as 70 deceive the di.
rectos, and finally accepted paper which
they knew to be fictitious and OF no com
mercial value These drafts were never paic
and consequently the bank lost nearly $500,
900, and demand is made far this sum
McCutcheon and Lynch are both prominen
citisens The allegations OF the complain
have created much surprise
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
A RURAL RloT.
One Man Shot Dead-severaI Others Nor
tally Wounded.

One Man Shot Dead-seyeraI Others MOS
tally Wounded.
GLASGOW, No., July IA riot betwees
two rural factions, numbering about twenty
persons, occurred in the streets Of Glasgow
The difficulty was the outgrowth Of a loca
feud
John Patton saw Louis Watts On the stree
and commenced throwing stones at him
finally rushing at him with an open knife
Watts drew a revolver and opened FIRE
Friends Of the men rushed in and the hghl
became general Aaron johnson and Lewh
Watts received mortal wounds and John
Patton was shot dead. Six other persons
we're injured, Peter Herndon being shot IL
the left thigh, Albert Carter ia the fieshy
part of the left leg and the others sustained
various injuries from stones
The police and sheriff forces finally quelleC
the riot, making number Of arrests. More
bloOdshed is feared.
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
DOWN AT YOUNGSTOWN.
BsApsism % Child Evidently Not born
20 lie Drowned.

B'ApSism' % Child Evidently Not born
10 he Drowned.
YOUNGSTOWN, Pa, July Aside from the
confusion occasioned by the presence OF a large
number Of excurSionisis the city was very
quiet The most interesting feature Of the
day was the baptism Of child Of the food,
David James Jones by name, bouncing lad
OF six months, who has proved beyond q
doubt that he was not born 20 be drowned.
Rev. Edward Carnal, a Congregational
minister OF the Red Cross corps, performed
the ceremony. Gilbert II. Prindie, quarter
master Of the Philadelphia division, donated
v bottle Of water from the river Jordan and
the youngster got his name with honors Re
hgious services In the various churches wer,
largely attended.
The objections b the Chicago built houses
have disappeared, and they are now eagerly
sought after for temporary hahitations
Croner Evans Nsilis'iake the jury up .,
South Fork dam to finish testimony on tbs
question Of the responsibility Of the club
The citizens Of Cambria City ask 10 be sup
piled with lumber for 200 houses, which they
will erect themselves They say that inside
Of week they could house l,200 people
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
SAUCY KING LEGITIME.
His Ships Capture the Yankee
Steamer Ozama.
HE SOON EATS CROW. HOWEVER.

And Releases the Boat When the Ovslpee's
Commander Threatens to lombard Port
au-Prince-Five Thousand Dollars Paid
The HaytIan Cablegram Made Public.
WASHINGTON, July The secret Of the
cablegram from Hayti, which caused such
commotion in the navy and state department
fortnight ago and sent Rear Admiral Cher
ardi of post haste with the Kearsarge 10
Portau- Prince, has at last been discovered.
Everybody guessed at It, and couple OF New
York newspapers printed what they claimed
to be a text Of the cablegram. They were all
wrong.
Captured by the Haytian Navy.
A steamer which arrived in New York hast
Wednesday from Hayti brought news that
the Clyde steamer Ozama, owned In New
York, had been captured by the Haytian gum
boat La Defense and corvette Dessalaines
aud held for three hours
Capt. Kellogg TaIks shooA-
Capt Kellogg, Of the u s. man-of-war
Ossipee, demanded her immediate release
Legitime refused to let her go except under
certain conditions Capt Kellogg sent word
to Legitime that unless the steamer was re-
leased within five hours and s., ,0o0 indemnity
paid by Legitime the Ossipee would lombard
the city.
LegitIme Pays for mo Insult.
Legitime paid the money and released the
0zama, and that tended Il. But the cablegram
which raised the disturbance WAS one from
Capt Kellogg to Secretary Tracy, announc-
ing that Legitime had captured the New
York steamer. That news was sufficient TO
stir up the avy and state departments, and
the officials Of the latter thought il necessary
TO keep the news secret
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
A NOTABLE EVENT.
Dedication Of the New Catholic Cathe
drai NJ Providence.

Dedication Of the New Catholic Cathe-
drai ~ Providence.
PROVIDENCE, July THE new cathedral
Of SAINTS Peter and Paul, the seat Of the
Roman Catholic diocese of Providence, has
been conaec1ated-
The edifioe WINS planned by the late Bishop
Hendricken and has been eleven years in
course Of construction The conservation
ceremony in the early morning wns per
formed by the clergy in private. Hundreds
Of priests from the city and diocese Of Boston
and from al over the state were present
At the pontifcial high mass at 1880 O'Clock
Governor Ladd, Ex-Governor Taft Mayor
Barker, Postmaster George and many Other
civil officials were preseut. The great edifc'
WAS packed. The music was furAished b,
the cathedral choir, Reeves orchestra anC
the Palestine sooety, Of New York Thl
sermon was delivered by Archbishop Ire
land, Of St Paul MINI. A pontifcial vespei
service was held In the evening with a ser.
mon by Rt Rev. John J. Keane, ID,
rector OF the Catholic university, Washing
ton ID q
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
inc Delagoa nav TrouI,le.

LONDON, July 1.-The cabinet discussed
the troubles at Delagoa bay and formulated
a sharp note to Portugal. Lord Salisbury
will not submit mildly TO {, high handed
manner in which Portugal hts asd taken to
deal with British capitals' ua II sar-
mined 10 make trouble Ioi' dst Eai. eal ua,-
les her ministers back ioen 1i frofs
the position they assunet e laa flitrss
Bay railway matter annif tart
two Of the great Lon oH astilies utee IA. as
notified a number q 1sh Htr esrta.a ~
snts to prepare Tor "a asV51a
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
The SOW Nnyr noomine.

WASHINGTON, July THE designs for the
1900 and $500 tons cruisers have boon agreed
upon, and as soon as the necessary work Of
drafting their specifications is completed pro
posals will be invited for their construction.
Five Of the nav vessels have already been
given out for bids which will be opened by
Secretary Tracy on Aug. p These are the
two 5000 ton, nineteen knot cruisers and the
three 1900 ton, eighteen knot cruisers Next
month the bids for the ocean tugs win be
opened, and the submerged monitor author
lied from designs furnished by Hon. J. /
Thomas will also be advertised for, 80 TIA
by the time congress meets the way win b.
clear for any additional legislation that may
be deemed necessary.
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
ALLEGED netroIt Boodlers.

DETROIT, July Prosecuting Attorney
Wilcox has made formal demand for q
grand jury before the city judges sitting In
banc, alleging that be had evidence to sub
nit TO the effect that leading members Of the
city council had demanded money from com
petirg contractors as perquisite to award
ing the contracts. The court, in a lengthy
opinion, refused TO summon a grand jury
holding that the ordinary machinery of thI
law was sufficient to bring the guilty TO trial
and asserting that a grand jury was useless
expensive and unnecessary. Il is probable
that the charges Of boodleism viii be dropped
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
o.nrion Ar.ln Arrnste,-

CORK, July !. William O'Bren. N. P. fos
Cork, and Patrick O'Brien, member for Mon
aghan, spoke at crowded meeting here
When O'Brien had finished his speech the
police who were present in force, took him
into custody. His action caused great ex
citement among the populace and they begaI
TO stone the police, yho thereupon charged
upon them, injuring many persons, including
Patrick O'Brien. The excitement here is al
fever heat and disorder continues Patrick
OBrien's injuries were very serious and his
condition Is reported 70 be critical
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
A O,d rh.a,ra nnrn..,,

CLEVELAND, o., July l.-Everything be-
tween the walls and the first floor Of the
Academy OF Music, on Bank street, was
cleaned out by fire that started about 4
o'clock An oyster house and saloon on
the ground floor were badly damaged by
water. The Kennard house, which adioins
on the north, and the Union Toy company's
warehouse on the south, were greatly en-.
dangered. The fire started under the stage,
but the cause is unknown The academy is
one Of the oldest places Of amusement in the
city, and ON it's stage all the great actors Of
the country had appeared
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
Mherritt.s 80 MI

CAMDEN, n. j., July John NJ Wber.
ritt, Baltimorean, has been arrested here
on a charge of bigamy. Wherritt captivated
a Miss Isabella +. Jordan in Baltimore and
married her on Oct 20, 1880 They disagreed
and he deserted her Then he drifted TO this
city, where he married Miss Mary T. Ripley,
He failed TO get on well with her and left her,
but was compelled to pay her 81 a week
Then the wives came together through an
advertisement inserted in the newspapers by
the seconl wife. The result was Wherritt.
arrasf
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
smothered Her ChiId.

ALBANY, July Mrs Rubens, wife
Morris Rubens, dealer in crayon portr Is
residing ON Clinton avenue and h.
months-old son were found dead iT i
The mother had long been a suffer
Bright's disease, and It is supposed .e fle
becoming unconscious before b. df8s1
rolled on the child and smothere1 eaaath
TIE woman was alone in the hor aitl tsf
children when she expired ant ass of SIS
covered until many hours later.
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
Tho Prosident'a Fourth a 5uay.

WASHINGTON, July THE president and
Mrs Harrison will spend the Fourth Of July
at Woodstock, Conn, the guests Of Mr.. Hen
ry c. Bowen, the proprietor o. The New York
Independent, and there take part in the pat
riotic picnic which that gentleman annually
holds in that pleasant New England Village.
The journey viii be commenced at q % % m.
on Tuesday over the Baltimore and Potomac
road, and the return trip will be- entered
upon Friday evening. the party planning to
reach Washington haturday morning.
Evening journal., 1889-07-01
SIR Julian BUYS a Parm.

WASHINGTON, July Sir Julian Paunce-
fote has purchased several acres OF fine farm
ing land Just outside OF the city, within the
ne.ghborhood Of the Country club, which. it
h understood, he intends devoting b. farm
ing purposes. This is the first instance on
record Of a foreign ambassador investing In
district real estate. Sir Julian intends sail
ing early in July for visit home, and upon
his return in the autumn viii be accom-
panied by his wife and two daughters