The Dickinson press., 1889-10-05
THE OLD PURSER'S YARN.
THE COOK FROM TERRY HUT" WHO
WOULDN'T MAKE PIES, BUT DID.


he Dt"ht Like the captain" and Was very
Bold for IL Timc-But the Latter Got
Very Angry When N. Missed tho pump.
nj" AS-N' '.""'' "a'r'ts'
OF all the rum SINNERS | ever came across
in all NV sea d,ys-anl that's a rare commit.
ment, too, do YOU mind-Cap'n Selvilse lust
was. He ius; was Caleb i. he used to siyp
himself, but the boys weren't coins TO stand
that, YOU know, some of en- prie. on; from
down east sonlcN here tina. his fa:hcr'd had
him chris,enel Ca lra. o. CAY lry, as he pro
nounce: it, after some son. IN that rubhishv
old Frenc.. revolution. YOU know, | don't,
and don't want YOU 10 tel! me. So it was no
good his wri,m. himself Caleb /: Cav Iry it
was. and Cap'n lrv his sea name ALWAYS,
among the No,S 4 good one. too, Car'n iry
was. as our u.sn mostly were. but the queer
est Dick ;.s; ever crossed quarter deck. And
YOU taxi, i, from ME, my son. that the Quar-
ter deck is jus. the home and habi,a,ion of
the queer Dick at his quccrest. Oh, l could
go on by the hour about the old man, but
hold on till ! tel You how he tanned our big
prize fighting pastry cook from Terre Haute,
lnd.-don't laugh. sir; pledge YOU NV word
he came from there, and salt water 81 a drop
at wholesale.
LITTLE. But LION HEARTED.
Cap'n Try wasn't any bigger than n cock
sparrow, as the Doushboy of the Maybosh
used to howl ont whenever he was drunk.
But, Cris.obal Colon! If ever you saw a
cock sparrow with the soul of a lion tucked
inside, and n sea lion at that. do YOU mind.
old Cay Try was that very bird. Somehow
Mr.. Terry Hut took n regular scunner against
the little cap'n. Well, if the devil sends
cooks, whoever sends sea cooks, l don't know,
unless its the DEVILS sister, and as for slips
pastry cooks, there's nothing up to them but
the DEVILS mother-in-law; and Terry Hut he
just laid over anything you ever saw as far
forth as pure pie baking cussedness went.
Cap'n Try had the q%ueerest internal ar
rangemcnt to DO called All appetite you ever
came across in Your born days. Steward"
he used to soy, paSsingh his hand over his eyes,
so fashion, and then back over the flaming
bird O. paradise lock he wore for n sort Of
finish like, Steward, l don't feel very we'll
today. Think I'D better diet a bit. Just let
me taste some mock turtle soup, a bit Of nice
delicate corned beef with plenty of cabbage,
a sardine salad, n fnirish help of fig pudding,
q cup Of Japanese tea made good and strong,
SO you can see inc tnlnS, and-and q bottle
Of cider. Oh, and. steward, here, set a nice
fresh pumpkin pic in the chart room to.
night, will you, just in ease l should feel
hungry toward morning."
Well, one of those times when it was all
fog, fog, fog clear up from Cape San Lucas,
the old man-never left tho deck in thick
weather, sir-had one of these delicate pump
kin pie appctitcs come over him, and what
notion should the DEVILS own mother-in-
laws private secretary from Terry Hut take
into that nine cornered head of his but that
if that tho old man got so much as a smell of
the crust of tho first solitary pumpkin pie
he'd have to get up earlier and show himself
smarter than the Doughboy of the Waybosh.
We'll, maybe he didn't!
But hold on. First night, off Cape San
Lazaro: "Cap'n's compliments, where is his
pumpkin picf' Every sorry; order never
came to me-" Second night, passing Cerros
Island, cap'n's compliments again, again no
pie, profusc regrets, passengers ate EN- all
up. Third and last night of this attractive
comedy, east end of Anacapa abeam, cap'n's
compliments once more, pastry cook sorrier
than ever, pumpkin all gone, everything of
tho pie kind gone but the half of a stale CO.
coanut. How would that dot
PIES.
It's my belief, sir, that that last %cocoanut
broke the camel's back. Anyhow. now it
was call the steward. Turned in, sir. Cap'n's
compliments, please to turn out again.
Steward, my compliments to that pastry
cook of yours and tell him to turn out and
go to making pies and keep on making pies
till l tell him to stop" Four bells-2a. M
sleepy steward mounts bridge in tousled hair
and stocking feet. PANTRY quite cleared,
sir; may he knock off nowY' when 1 order
you: turn out the storekeeper and break out
more pic fruits from the store room." Seven
bells-3:3O n. m.-"Pie fruits all gone, SIR
Nothing leftY" Nothing, only mince.n
"Go ahead OH themince, then" Three bells
$50 a. m, and fog lifting a little-"Mince all
gone now; what next?' "Go ahead on the
empty crusts till l tell him to stop.n Six
bells-7 a. IN, sun coming up and captain
coming down-"Very sorry, sir, pastry room
all chock ablock with pies, sir, and over
flowed into the galley and pantry to that ex-
tent that it's all the cooks and walters can do
not to step ON EN-"
Every good; then fetch the pastry cook
to me-"
Pastry cook alone with cap'n in chartroom.
"And now, Mr.. Pastry-cook, what in your
opinion is the probability of the captain Of
this ship being able to have a slice of pie
when he orders It'll"
Well, sir, it was Just pitiful to SEQ that moor
pastry cooks face break all up like January
thaw and two big lines of tears organize
themselves on his pasty cheeks. He lust
heaved ono great sob and made out to saw:
ooh, cap'n, my pore sperrit is Just broke all
to nothin'. Have mercy on me this time, sir.
and l won't never do SO no moro. not neyerIn
I'll hush if Capt. Try didn't have to blow
his nose with that red bandanna when he
toll, mo +ho Co., 49, III. VIC no
ufag those /" men apart after that. And,
nolo On minute. the storage just lived on
pies, Ulnce ana lemon md cranberry and