San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-01-05
NEW YEAR SMILES.

James, L feel It my duty to tell you
that have been engaged no less than
four times and that have broken
each engagement myself. In each in
stance the young man presented me
with paste diamond and 1 could re-
spect him no longer. Please take
warning and govern yourself accord
ingly."
He has countermanded his order
Detroit Free Press.
Newsboy chaff (heard on State
street on recent morning):
! "Say, Gully, why wasn't you up to
de park skatin' yesterday"
"Why wasn't I up to de park?
Cause it was rainin' an dey wasn't
no skatin' in de park" --
well, I guess dey was, and was
in de fun"
II was down in de ribber swimmin';
dat's .whar 1 wus." -Detroit Free
Press.
A.-What is your prospective bride
going to give you on New Years?
asked young society man of his
friend.
B.-I believe she is going to give
me a handsomely-worked watch case,
and l am in a fix about it.
"How SOP"
"Well, you see 1 pawned my watch
to get her Christmas present and
haven't been able to redeem it yet, so
you see I'll be in sort of corner
when she presents me with the watch
case. Texas Siftings.
Time, 11:3O p. m. Miss Weeried-
Snno lyin0r Of T., I'll
late, will you permit me to ask you
one?
Mr.. Steighlate-With the greatest
of pleasure, Miss Weeried.
Miss Weeried-Well, then, why are
you like bObsled on bare ground ?
Mr.. Steighlate-Tell me, do, Miss
Weeried.
Miss Weeried-Because it is almost }
impossible to make you go.-Burling-
ton Free Press. .---.....z.,e- $3.50 -s-,
Mrs. Bascom-I thought heard YOU |
and your fellow quarreling tonight,
Amelia?
Amelia Bascom (tearfully)-Yes, you
did, ma.
Mrs. Bascom-What did he say
when he went away?
Amelia-He said we should meet
again in due time.
Mrs. Bascom--Well, that means
next summer. There won't be no dew
fall till then.-Burlington Free Press.
Mr.. Thick head meeting an old ac-
seen you for an age. What are you
driving at now?
Mr.. Pusher Successful authOr)-I
am writing another book.
MIR. Thickhead-Sure enough. | for
got you were literary man. Draw
ing a long breath and shaking his
head.) l don't think I'd ever succeed
as an author. l lack gall, suppose.
haven't got enough conceit. They
tell me you're coming right to the
front, Pusher. Glad to hear it-glad
to hear it. GoOdby walking Off. He
looked mighty glum. What in thun-
der could have said to offend him.
Chicago Tribune.
"There was a man here and he left
o note for yOu," said a Warren Ave-
nue. man to his wife, who was out
when he came home in the evening.
"My goodness said the lady,
while she united her bonnet strings.
'Who is it from?"
"How do 1 know" said her hus-
band. II don't know all your
friends.n
You oughtn't talk that way to me-
said the wife, just ready to
whimper. "Eou know / never flirted
in my life. What did the man say?"
"Oh, he said nothing; he just left
the note for you. It's there on the bu-
reau.n
"Gharlie-bOo-hOo-1 didn't think
you'd think that w-way of me-bOo-I
hoo, I'll 90 home tonight. Where's
the baby? where's my baby? and I'll
leave you to your unjust suspicious"
"Why don't you read the note?"
81 don't want to see it,"
"NOu had better read it. 1t won't ,
help things not to read it,"
"Why"-drying her eyes-"it's from
Aunt Margaret, and stamped and
DOst-marked too, as though it came
by mail. L thought you said a man !
eft it for me-"
80 did, my dear-the postman."
Chicago Mail.
: Aunt, loosely - Why, you have
been here fully ten minutes, Tommy,
and haven't spoken of your new boots
yet; how is that?
Tommy, confidentially- Il don't
think of these boots more'n half the
time, aunty.
Another time Tommy came down
the street whistling so loud as to
make himself conspicuous.
Aunt-What made you whistle so,
Tommy? ,
TOmmy-Oh, I was thinking I'd