Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1889-01-03
WIT AND HUMOR.

spirit wrapper?-B inghamtoH Republic
can.
Tom Bigbee-I say. Epson, what
would you do if you had a million dol
larsP Epson DEMONSTRATING -
Puck.
A lot of little bootblacks perched on
a curbstone may not be india rubber
boys, yet they are gutter perchers.-
IeIas SYiegs.
Teacher Willie, what is the Capital
Of CanadaP Willie-The money taken
there by United States fnanciers and
boodlers.-
The poetess who sings that she was
kissed by the waves" probably fell
overheard near the mouth of a river
BtnghanitoH Republican.
1t is all very well to pay as you go.
but if you have no baggage the hotel
proprietor would rather you would pay
when you arrive. - Rittsburg Chronicle.
Hall clock-rm getting tired Of this
ceaseless round, aud Pm going to stop.
Gas meter-Huul Come down here if
you want to know what work is
Phiiadciphia Record.
Dude-Aw-Mss, may awsk what
you call your dawgp Pretty girl
have named him after that new Indian
province himl Dude-Wow.--
Detroit Free Press
Adoiphus-E stelle, if you do not
love me ( will blow my brains out
here-right away Estelle--Dont,
pleased You might make a speck on
the carpet-Th Ldea.
Mr. Lik, the Charge d'Affaires Of the
Corean Legation, is no relation 70 Nj.
in Washington social and political cir
Giles. y WASHINGTON Post
All the speeches and addresses de-
livered during the last twenty years or
so by Albert Edward are TO be publish
ed. They will be known as the prints
Of Wales - PHiladelphia Ledger.
Smith (tomilkman) III have to ask
you to chalk it up. Milkman (ab-
stractedly) 20, that's all been attend
ed to- -er-beg your pardon; GER
tainly, take your own time Life.
you're an angel" said he, unre-
gardedly. mo, Pm mott she re-
spouded with conviction. "l'm
woman and | want new winter suit
before the snow flies, sure. - S0nler-
nile journal.
Shakespeare was slightly mixed in
schoolboy" whom the maternal eye has
detected in some tlagrant act of DISC
bedience that 'shilts into the sIippered
pantaloon. "-PaCb
Husband Robert Elsmere" is get
ting talked about more than any book
know of. Wife (disappointedly) --
Yes, and it isn't bit naughty, either.
I've read it through from Preface to
Finis. -- Washington Post.
Young DR.. b. is run down with bus
mess. you must earn mint of
money" said a friend TO him one day.
''Not at all; my patients don't pay"
"Nop But their heirs ought to stand
something handsome. '-Jadge.
La Fiancee DO YOU know, Clarence
dear that when you gave me your first
kiss | was so astoniShed that | nearly
went crazy! Clareuce-Ah, yes, dar-
)ingl / should have known better
than to give you only one, --LVe
Lawyer want suit brought
against defendant for breach of prom
iseP He asked YOU plainly Co marry
him? Young lady-le said he want
ed me to bc his typewriter Lawyer
We can got $4,000 Surveillance Re-
publjcaH.
Mother Goodness me, Is that
Irene at the piauo2n Little SON
Yes ma Wen, 90 ask her what
she is doing, If she is practiciug. she
can keep on until the hour is up; but
if she is playing, tell her to stop
Philadelphia Record.
Miss Muhoney Ca boarding-school
graduate TO her father) q, papa,
won't You do something for usp My
best friend Mr. Gilhouly. is in terrible |
dilemma. Mir Patrick Muhoucy Bad ,
lux to i'm, Biddie An how gong is
he IN torP Washington Post
Mr.. De Dude (to his best girls little |
brother)-l notice YOU always come /
into the parlur To amuSe yourself with /
me while your sister is dressing. Little .
brother (comphiuingly)- What else is .
there for me to do2 Pop won't buy
me a donkey. iBUldclpbja Record.
Judge Prisoner, you set about this /
man, Shamefully abusing and nearly |
killing him. Now what have YOU to :
offer in eNtenualioup Prisouer-Your
Honor, he was reciting campaign
poem, and -- Judge That is enough. (
The prisoner is discharged -T The Idea.
Wife (at breakfast tablel-G George,
dear WAY DO all the dcfautng bank +
cashiers from the Far West 80 70 Cam
ada? Husband Nyho is Emeritus Pro-
fessor in Geography Because, my /
dear, though there i less longitude .
there they must have more latitude -
Puck.
81 haven't seen Miss Gushv since ,
returned from Europe remarked f.
young Shallow al wonder what She I
will think of the musnche | have rails /
cdP" III She Is as aIpcGuuatv as She F.