Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1889-01-08
HUMDuRGIN.

| mum thst Soiiioihl ny tho "olJ nc
soon as git my nu shuze want ia
come and see yu and git yu tn tell
me all about that town that they call
Californy. Now, we Durginites are
nifty glad yu have got the paper agin,
and histed that bob tail pup to spout
poetry fur us.
But what l set down tn write yu
about was the thunderin' scrape a
lot Nv us got in down here New
Years day. 1t all came from drafted
dude from the villige Nv Clarksville
that was here TO see them Juner gals
I won't give his name, as l promlst
not tn, but I'm good notion tn fur
he wer SO fresh. But tn make short
story long, that Dick Peace and Claud
Clark, yer town poet, cum down with
this dude on New Years day tn see
them Juner gals. So me and johnny
Blue stopped in thar about twelve, no.
in the ole oomnn alters had sum
thin guide tn eat but this time err
year. AFTER dinner the dude KEEP
goin to the barn, au evry time he
cum back he wer more druuker, til
at last he got as full as a guse and
went spank tn sleep soften IN his
chur. Wetride tn make him talk an
say sumthin tn keep him Swake, but
he wus tn full fur Inference. So
Clark, the poet, he seq; "Boys, lets
berry him, fur he's ded, that's sur
tin." Iu Sc Clark an the dude wer
tryin tu set tn the sami gal, is the re-
sin he wanted tn berry him. But |
didn't think NV such thing at the
time. But if I'd jist NV thct about
him bein the sun Nv his farther I'd
NV newn what his ohio wus. Well,
we got a long box that ole man Juncr
got sum frute trees in al put him
intuiit an carried him back NV the
orchard wher Their is a drafted big
cave, and toted him in past crook
so yu couldn't see out aud set him
down. Then that Dick Pece sed we
wood fix up in shetes and set round
on the rocks and wake him up and
see what he wood du and say. Well
that Clark the poet got thunderin
CRATE big punkin an cut the arfules
face on;u ii yer ever did see l reckon,
with mouth and eize and every thing
jist as natural as cud be. We put it
on hi rock with sheet round the
rock rite where il wood be in front
NV him when he riz up in the box
Then that Die Pece got lamp frum
old Miss Juner and III it and set il
in the punkin. tell you it looked
mighty skeery, and 1 woodent stade
in thar by my self fur nuthin. Well
when all got fixed l tuck a wet
rag and rubbed on his face and
poord sum water onter his he'd and
terrectly he groaned a groan and
thed kinder twisted bout so /
helped him sorter up. A settin in
the box he rubbed his ize with his fist
and seq, what time is it, Miss Juner,
thinkin he wer talkin to the gals like
he wer when he went to sleep. It's
time fer the resurrection, so rize and
cum to judgement, stz Clark, the
poet, in the most arfnlest voice l ever
hern frum man NV his size. You
don't say SO, SEE the dude, kinder git
ten his ize open. About this time he
got glimps NV the punkin and just
keeled over and thot he wer ded
this time shurenuff. So | throde
sum water in his face and fotch him
tn wi h jerk. He got rite mp and
SEE how long have l bin ded any
how? Two thousand and seven
hundred years, SEE Clark, The poet,
in that same arful voice. Well lets
GO, SCI he. Waite til the trumpet
sounds agin, SEE that Dick Peace. My
Lord, SEE the dude. Bout this time
Clark the poet thot hede du sumthin
extra and skeer him plum tn detl
and have him clear outen the way at
Juner's. So he lit the drafted bigis
fire cracker ever seed and AIMED tn
throw it over behind the punkin he'd,
but blamed if it dident bust rite on
top Nv the thing kerspang and bust
ed the punkin, lamp and all. Well
sur, the oil cot afire, and We all made
brake tu git outen there. And l
think it must Nv bin that Dick Peace
run rite over me and all the rest ia
cluden the dude dun the same thing. .
Well sur, when / got outen thare
was most ded. My he'd was cut on q
rock an | bleediu like thunder. And
it was jist about mite aud don't yer
think all the drafted towards had run
off and left me by myself 1t made
me so lhunderin mad l jlst tuck out
to mother and Mslindy. And when
1 went in tina wer skeerd most tG
deth. But Malindy sed it wernt no
NOR than she expected, fur sfz
she,' Yer alers gittin intu sum ever
lastin scrApe." She SEE if l don't
keep away frum them drafted town
chaps shele leave me. Fur, SCI she,
'fYei'l cum home ded and then therel
b. trouble with funeral" Du yu
no If they have turned up yet ur not
Please rite me at once and let me no
bout EN-. fgEE
No more frum yer friend til deth.
BILL RoGUs.