The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-09-16
LANGUAGE THAR NEEDS A REST
An Entertaining Conversation Heard In
LIhrnEN

| Alk kAVAA w )" NNN E6 N-N%NbNN
dictionary. Creeping softly to the door,
l stood and listened. VI don't care"
said the little word OF; ~ may not be
very big, but that is no reason why
everybody should take advantage OF me.
| am the most merCilessly o%vCrworked
word in the whole dictionary and there
isl no earthly reason for it, either, Peo'
pie say they Consider Of and approve
Of and accept Of and admit Of all sorts
OF things, They say all OF u.s. and
both OF them and first OF ALL and tell
about looking out Of the window, or
cutting a piece OF bread off OF the Loaf,
until lam utterly tired out"
"Pshaw!" said the word Up, II am
not much bigger than you and | do twice
us much work, and q good deal OF 1t
needlessly, too. People wake up in
the morning and get up and shake
up their beds and dress up and
wash up and draw up to the ia.
BILE, and 'eat up and drink up their
breakfast. Then they Jump up from
the table and hurry up to go up to the
corner, where the strcet.Car dtiver. pulls
up his horses and the passengers as
cGnd up the steps and go up into the
front seats and the conductor takes up
the tickets. All this is done even be.
fore people get np' town and take up
their days work. From that time until
they put up their books and shut up
their Offices | do more work than any
two words in this book; and even after
business hours | am worked until peo-
pie 'loCk up their houses and go up to
bed and cover themselves up and shut
up their eyes for the night. 1t would
take a week to tell what | have to put
up with in a day, and | am a good deal
worked up over it."
~ agree that both Up and OF are
Overworked, said the word Stated, "but
l think | myself deserve a little sym.
pathy. l am doing not only my own
legitimate work, but also that which
ought to be done by my friend Said.
Nobody says anything now q days; he
always states it.
YES" Clipped in the funny little
word Pun, 'theso Nre very stately
times"
Some OF the words laughed at this, but
Humor said: "Pun is q simpleton,"
no" answered Wit; he is fellow Of
Duplicates"
"He makes me tired" said Slang.
Then the discussion was resumed.
81 do n great deal Of needless work."
said the word But. "PeOple say they
have no doubt, but that it will rain,
and that they shouldn't wonder but
what it would SNOW, until l don't
know but | shall strike"
"What ! have most to complain about"
said the word As, "is that | am forced to
associate so much with the word Equally.
Only yesterday a man said he could see
equally as well as another man. ! don't
see what business Equally had in that
sentence"
"WeIl," retorted Equally, linen every
day say that something is equally as
good as something else, and | don't see
what business AS has IN that sentence"
~ think" said Propriety, "you two
should be divorced by mutual consent
There was u huttering sound and a
clamor OF voices.
"Wc, too,ought to be granted divorce
was the substance Of what they said, aud
among the voices l recognized those OF
the following named couples: Cover
Over, Enter In, From Thence, 60 Fetch,
Have Got, Latter End, Continue On,
Converse Together, New Beginner, Re-
turn Back, Rise Up, Sink Down, They
Both, Try And, More Perfect, Seldom
Ever, Almost Never, Feel Badly, United
Altogether, Two First, An One, Over
Again, Repeat Again, and many others,
When quietude had been restored,
the word Rest said: "You words all
talk Of being overworked, as II that were
the worst thing that could happen to q
fellow, but | tell you 1t is much worse
to be cut out Of your own work. Now,
look at me. Here / ain ready and will.
ing to perform my part In the speech oil
the day, but almost everybody passes
by the and employs my awkward friend
Balance. 1t Is tile COmmonest thing in
the world to hear people say they will
pay the balance OF a debt OF will sleep
the balance OF tho night
~ suffer considerably from tho same
kind Of neglect" said tho word Deem.
"Nobody ever deems u thing beautiful
any morej II Is always Considered
beautiful, when in fact 1t Is not COnsid'
cred at all"
"True," said Irritate, land people talk
of being aggravated when they ought
instead to give me work."
"And me- said Purpose, "look at mo
| get hardly anything TO do because peo'
pie are always proposing TO do this Of
that, when no idea Of u proposition II
involved. Why, l read the other day
Of u lnan who had proposed to murder
another when really he had never said
a word about IL to a living being. o
course he only purposed to commit tho
murder"
at Is my turn" said the word Among
~ should like to protest against Mr.
Between doing my work. The idea O
people saying q man divided an orange
between his three children. II humil
iates me-"
at Is no worse" said the word Fewer
ethan 10 have people say there wert
Tess men In one army than another"
mo" added, More Than, land nj
worse than to have them say there wert
over 100000 men,"
at seems to me-" said the word Like
~, "that nobody has more reason FOL
complaint than / have. My friend Lila
bic Is doing nearly Rll my work. The!
say a man Is liable to be sick, or liable
to'he out OF town, when the question Q
liability does not enter into the matte.
al ALL"
GYou're no worse off than | am, " sale
the little word So; that fellow Such Il
doing all my work. People say Their
never was such u glorious country a
: this, when, Of course, they mean Their
never was So glorious q country else
where"
saw that there was likely 10 be NJ
end 10 this discussion, since half Of III.
words In the dictionary were making eI
forts TO put In their complaints, 80 ! re
turned 10 my couch and ! Will leave
10 any person who has read this accom-
10 say whether had not already hear
enough 10 make me or anybody els
sleepy,
AuDOd Appetite
Ii essential 10 good health but Of thl
seasOn II Ia often lost, owing 10 VI
poverty OF lmpurlty Of the blood, dI