The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-04-29
sATAN,s JUICE.


An old negro. mutteriug angrily was
walking along road when white man,
who happened to. be standing near, over
heard him.
whats the matter, simmonsY" the
white man asked. The negro halted, shook
his head and replied:
"Good deal de matter, sir. I'm gwine
up yander to whip old Toney.p
"what has he doneSn
"Neber mine, know whut he's Done
Neber did see dc like in my life. You
know dat niggerp"
"Yeen
knows he's bout dc bigges' drunkard
In de 'munity, doan your"
eyes, know he drinke."
"Yas, sab; reckon he does. Now pm
gwine ter put my plant right befo' you.
Some time ergo stopped drinkin' ticker.
/ swore dat would stick ter water do rest
o. my life. Dat worked all right till yis-
tidy"
"What occurred then Y''
"w'y, sah, de freshet washed my house
erway.n
"weil, but what did old Tony have to do
with itP''
swat till tell you. De water coulder
washed erway his house jest ez easy ez II
did mine, but no, sab, It whipped round
an cotch me. Yere rs been er tempunce
man fur five year, an dat trinln' scounel
has been drunk putty nigh ever day, but
de water had ter skip him an wash my
house erway, an da tell me dat wen he
fnuni ont ia 10 ol ba trok hie t,tra nrta an hia
mouf, tuck er drink o. licker outen er black
bottle, an Gays, he did, 'po' feller, he
oughter built his house somewhar up on er
mountain. Dang'us putin It down 80
close ter de water. Pity too, Gaze he's
sicher good tempunce pusson' OATS whut
| de scounel said. His house standin' dar
all right, mine dun washed erway. He
| drinkin' Ticker all de time, me drinkin'
water. Me tryin ter preach dc gospel an
de word an de saints an de garden o. de
'seminy; he Hghtin chickens an shootin'
craps an handlin' dc paste-boa'ds. Wen
thought erbout all this says to merse'f.
Simmons, you ant been treated right II
dis matter. Ell you doan go up
| yander an whup dat Niger,
| you amt got no true 'ligion in yo' soul
an no nerve in yo' body so Ts on my
way up dar now ter gin dat nigger de wuss
wollerin' er scounul eber got in dis yere
worl'. Doan talk ter me, sab; doan try ter
'suade me agin takin' dis yere step o. jes-
tice, but ef you wants to yare suthin' dat'll
SCUM like er houn' dog dat's shet up In or
smokehouse wild er man dat got or hickory
sprout, jest hol' yo' year in dis direck-
shun."
He walked on, muttering as he went. The
offending negro lived but a short distance
away, and the white man soon heard noises
that sounded as If some one were beating
wheat with a fail. and not long afterward
old Simmons came running down the road
His hat was gone and his coat hung in
shreds.
"Hsve you killed him :" the white man
asked.
Simmons stopped, looked back, shook
his head and replied:
"Dar's suthin' wraung in de 'raugements
o. dis yere life. Went up dar ter whup dat
now look at me Amt fit fur er skeercrow
Aint fit fur nuthin' but kyarpet rags an
soap.grease. l foun' de scounnul standin
out at de fence, smokin' an wien l tole
him whut come after he put his pipe or
de gate-post. Den yered suthin' hit dc
groun'. 1t wuz me. 'Hol' on y 81, 'hol
on We amt got dis thing opened up
right Ker whop he tuck me. / tried
ter grab him in de eyes. Look yere. Col
dis thumb in his mouf. Choked me dowr
and got my years full o. SAM. How is el
man gwine ter preach de gospul wild his
years full o. SAM, I'd like ter KNOW
"Why didn't you hit him S'
Show gwine ter hit him when dc
scounnul wouldn' gin me er chanceY DE-
greedy rascal jes' grabbed ever chance he
seed. How gwine hit him when he had
bofe my hams ground down under me
How gwine hit him when he wuz or set
tim erstraddle o. me pourin' sam in my
year like 1t wuz nuthin' but er blame fun
mel. You talk like or man dat amt got nj
Judgment. Come AKIN me why l didn'
hit him You muster been raised way of
yander whar de cows would git LOST,
"What are you going to do about 1t
Are you going to lawy'
"No, sab, I'm gwine right down yande
ter dat ticker shop an git or drink, dat
whut I'm gwinc ter do. Oh, ef you gwin,
ter fight Satan you halter drink some O
Satan's juice, You wait, an you'll yer
dat houn' holler yit."-[Opie p. Read II
Arkansaw Traveller.
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