davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04
FULL OF FUN.

Flies are fond of sweet things, but
young men as rule are agreed that
there are no flies on a sweet girl.-Bos-
ton Courier.
Indian listening to phonograph)-
"Chin-box heap better than Injun agent.
Ialk-talk, all same don't steal.
Wough?''-Puck.
How shall we move the masses?"
asked the temperance orator Just then
somebody in the outskirts of the crowd
remarked: Come take a drink, fell
lows, and the masses moved.-Munsey's
Weekly.
John, bring me a glass of hot
punch" Servant bringing it)-sI think
this is notquite hot enough, SIR" s'How
DO you know that? You must have tast-
cd it." Indeed, no, sir, l would not do
such thing; tried it with my finger"
-Fliegende Blatter.
-1ndistinct but Reliable.
I'm Chinese laundry)-"Why do you say
Fli-day, John, when you mean Friday?"
Chinaman-'1 say Friday cause 1 mean
Friday; not like Mclean man, who slay
Friday and come to pay me week after
next!"-Texas Siftings.
-Ethel-'Did you go to Italy?" Har-
riet-'O, my, yes! We staid there two
months" Ethel-"What do you think
of the lazzaroni?" Harriet-ssO, it's
awful. l tried some the first night I
was there, but it doesn't suit my taste
at all. "-Life.
-"Ferment means to work." said the
teacher to the language class. "Now
each of you write sentence containing
the word" This is what Tommy Cumso,
who reads the papers, wrote: Cramps
do not like to ferment. Time.
Farmer Hayseed Ito greatest living
skeleton at dime museum) -"Hello!
Who be you? You amt workin' here,
airyou?' Living Skeleton with dignity
II am engaged here" sWall, do tell
Say, my friend, you amt loolxin' we'll,
and ct | was you I'd change my boardin'
place. IN. Y. Weekly.
Indignant Physician-s'Man, what
have you done? Yor sent my patient the
wrong prescription, and it killed him."
Druggist-"Vell, Wat vas der matter
NIT you? Last week I send your odder
patient der right berscribtion, and dot
killed him. How can somebody please
sooch man?''-Springfeld Republican.
beg pahdon, mum, but you dropped
your vail in the-the lift,' said the
bell-boy to the departing guest, narrow
ly watching the effect of his words.
flames" said the pleased New York
lady to her husband, 'sgive the boy two
shillings. He takes us for English peo-
le."-Chicago Tribune.
-'Well, Dennis" said gentleman
to his gardner, ''I'm told you have fallen
into bad habits" GLOW is that, sor?"
Il hear that you have gotten to be
hard drinker." ''Harrud dhrinker, is it?"
Eyes" ''Begorra, it's few people as
drinks aisier than mezelf. Merchant
Traveller
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04
MEPHIsToPHELES.
HIS Proper Element Is Destruction Of tn,
Passive X ind

PaSSlve Kind.
He is the expression of certain spirit
u the modern world, cynical, counting
mere seifishness the basis of all thought
and action; Nihilist, but passive one,
not having belief enough in humanity
to be an active one, contenting himself
with SOOTHING at the weaknesses and vices
/ of man, too Indifferent and too negative
In his nature to rail at them He finds
nothing good on earth eternally," and
has no hope of ever finding any thing
good. Il am the spirit that denies,'' he
declares; he is the genius of negation;
his proper element is destruction;
but even the destruction is pas
sive. Mephistopheles simply stands
by, denying with scott law and order
and ultimate good, expecting the world
to tumble to pieces just from its own
rottenness. Nothing is worth mo-
ments earnest thought; in fact, every
thing is nothing; the world is made up
OF appearances which are mere lies; all
Is sham; sham is the one reality. He
hardly believes in himself-he certainly
does not take himself seriously. AS
devil he never actively tempts OR attacks
man, he simply plays upon mans foibles
and weaknesses, and even that more for
his own amusement than for any other
purpose; he is satisfied to let man drift,
just as he is satisfied to let things hap
pen. Happily, however, there is another
and deeper spirit in the world than that
of Mephistopheles, as Goethe acknowl-
edges by the failure of the fend with
Faust. Of the existence of this spirit
Mephistopheles himself appears dimly
conscious; at times the Something of
this clumsy world puzzles and irri-
tatcs him; he perceives that this
Something is set in opposition to his
Naught and, breaking forth in thou
sand germs, continually denies his de-
NAL. But this uneasy consciousness is
momentary; the fiend may be irritated
or puzzled into passing fit of earnest
ness, yet he almost Immediately reas-
sumes his hooking, indifferent attitude.
His is indeed singularly different age
from that of Lucifer or Satan: their
periods are characterized by belief,
which, though it took various forms,
some of them very repulsive, was never
theless in essentials arthodox. They
saw God and the devil under many as
poets, through many mediums, but they
never doubted that they did see, and
they never dreamed of dethroning au-
thority; they erected it into a fetch
which they sometimes disliked, some
times modified or amended, but always
worshipped.-Cornhill Magazine.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04
HENRY /. BIOsSAT, Business Mana GEL
SONG OF THE CAN'T-GETTHERE

For the few and far between,
For the very seldom seen,
For the un catch -uponablc / sigh!
The unclutchable I'd clutch,
The untouchable I'd touch,
For the ungrabbed and ungrabble diel
OF burn and sigh and clasp
For the st-beyond the grasp,
For the un overtakable yearn
And the vulgar here and now
ignere and disavow,
And the good enough for others, how spun (.
moan and cry and screech
For the just beyond the reach,
The too-far- away to grab, would ensnare
The Imaginable I'd gain,
The unattainable attain,
And chase the un catch onto to his lair!
S. w. Foss, in Yankee Blade,
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04
Figures for Builders.

Three and half barrels of lime will
do 100 square yards of plastering, using
two coats. Two barrels Of lime will do
the same amount of plastering with one
coat. One and half bushels of hair
will do 100 square yards of plastering.
One and quarter yards of good sand
will do 100 square yards of plastering.
One barrel of lime will lay 1000 bricks.
Two barrels of lime will lay one perch
of rubble stone. One thousand shingles
laid four inches to the weather will
cover 100 square feet Of surface. and S
pounds OF single nails will fasten them
on. One-fifth more siding and flooring
is needed than the number of square
feet OF surface to be covered. st, Louis
Republic.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04
DRUNKEN MEMS LUCK.
Why They Escape from What Would Ap.
pear to BE Certain Injury.

|
"A few days ago man was knocked
from trestle work on the Cleveland
Canton & Southern railway, near Cross
street, by a locomotive. The train was
| stopped and the victim was tenderly
picked up and taken to the depot. He
was intoxicated and paid little attention
to the efforts being made in his behalf
Atthe depot he denied that he had been
on the trestle, and demanded to know
VINO had taken his hat. Shortly after
ward he was arrested on Ontario street
1or being drunk. He gave no evidence
OF pain until several hours later. and
then DIR. Cole was called to attend him.
The man seemed to have escaped with a
lew bruises, and at the Central police
station 1T was regarded as another in
stance of a drunken mans luck"
While the subject was up for discussion
Patrolman related the circumstances
OF an affair that occurred on Canal
street. A drunken man had stumbled
along dark passage way between two
buildings and finally fell about twenty
hve feet down steep flight of stairs to
the Valley railway tracks. He was fin
ally discovered and carried back to
canal street to await transportation in
the patrol wagon. His pulse could
scarcely be detected, and the only ques-
tlon with those gathered about him was
whether the man was already dead or
would die within the next ten minutes.
When landed at the station he demand
ed to be released, and asked whose busi-
ness it was if he chose to drink little
beer. He had apparently sustained no
injury by the fall. DR.. Cole related a
River street case where a man fell from
three-story window upon woman
seated in front of saloon. The doctor
had been summoned in hot haste by the
mans friends, but upon his arrival the
victim OF the fall said very Indignantly
that he had not sent for physician,
and had no need for his services.
When asked whether there was any
explanation for the uniform good fortune
OF drunken men by escaping injury by
accident, Dr. Cole said that it was due to
a lack OF interest in their fate. In fall
ing the body is limp and lifeless, while
that OF sober man would probably be
very nearly rigid. In the case of the
latter a blow upon any part of the body
would be followed by an instantaneous
contraction of the muscles, having, per-
maps, nearly as much force as the blow
Itself. It, was stated by the physician
that often the sudden and yio1eDt cop
traction of the muscles caused by a blow,
furnished nearly half the force exerted
to produce the fracture of bone. A
drunken mans muscles, it was ex-
planned, would not respond in similar
way to the shock of blow, and he would
naturally escape that element of danger.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04
FOND OF ORIGINALITY.
Lady Who Sets Fashion of Her Oy
When Riding or Driving.

Lady Who Sets a Fashion of Her Own
When Riding or Driving.
Mrs. Westinghouse is clever horse.
woman and rides frequently beautiful
blooded mare whose pedigree rivals the
Plantasenets. Whenever she took her
rides abroad last summer she got her.
self up in the most perfect of London
cut, Quorncloth habits with silk hat
and dogskin gloves of the approved
type, but she invariably hooked into the
belt of her habit skirt large silver
chatelaine with twenty or more belong
ings, SO that she tintinnabulated upon
her way much after the fashion of the
celebrated lady who wore rings on her
fingers and bells on her toes. To COM
plete the picture she carried over her
head an expensive and expansive white
lace parasol, whose carved ivory handle
fluttered with white satin ribbons.
When she appeared with these
little additions to her toilet upon the ia
vorite drives the Lennox cottagers did
not hesitate to openly stare and COM
ment, and girls in correct driving cos
tune who were going about in their
own chapel carts would even go SO far
as to draw rein and stand still in the
road as this queer figure went by.
Her toilet on the drive, when she an.
peared in her own handsome London
built equipage for an afternoon airing,
was equally peculiar. Her dress might
be the most perfect creation of Partisan
couturieres, and yet with it she would
wear large white knitted hood tied I'M
der her chin, with a long pink ostrich
feather thrust into it's meshes with the
end waving in the wind. Some as
tonishing eccentricity of the sort made
every costume noticeable and her ap-
pearance was always anticipated with
interest, for it was known that she would
not disappoint the public of some nov.
city impossible to forecast. Chicago
News
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04
PROVERBS ABOUT RAIN.
A Number of Those Current in All Part
of the United States,

+, A Number of Those Current in All Parts
| of the United States.
When there is unusual clearness in the
atmosphere, and objects are seen very
distinctly, there will probably be rain.
When clouds are gathering toward the
sun at setting, with a rosy hue, they
foretell rain.
! Evening gray and morning red
Put on your hat, or you'll wet your head.
If rain commences before day, it will
stop before eight a. M; if it begins
about noon, it will continue through the
afternoon; if not till five D. NJ, it will
rain through the night; if it clears off
in the night, it will rain the next day.
If it rains before seven,
1t will clear before eleven.
Ii it rains before sunrise, expect fair
afternoon. If it rains when the sun
shines, it will rain the next day. If
clouds appear suddenly in the south, ex-
pect rain.
Rain from the south prevents the drought,
But rain from the west is always best.
When rain comes from the west, it will
not continue long. If rain falls during
an east wind, it will continue full day.
Ii an assemblage of small clouds spread
out or become thicker and darker. ex-
pect rain. Small inky clouds foretell
rain. Dark clouds in the west at sun
rise indicate rain on that day. If the
sky after fine weather becomes heavy
with small clouds expect rain.
Evening red and morning gray
Will set the traveller on his way;
Evening gray and morning red
Will bring down rain upon his head.
If there be a fleecy sky, unless driving
northwest, expect rain. Clouds floating
low enough to cast shadows on the
ground are usually followed by rain.
A curdly sky
Will not leave the earth long dry.
If clouds open and close rain will
continue.
Two currents of clouds indicate APP
preaching rain. A pale yellow sky at
sunset presages rain. If clouds float at
different heights and rates, but gener-
ally in opposite directions, expect heavy
rains. A mirage in New England is fol.
lowed by rain.
A mackerel sky,
Not twenty four hours dry.
When general cloudiness covers the
sky, and swall black fragments fly un-
derneath, they indicate rain, and prob
ably it will be lasting. Rain is indi-
Gated when
Low DER the grass the swallows wing,
And crickets, too, how sharp they sing.
1t waterfowl scream more than usual
and plunge into water, it is sure sign
that rain may be expected Boston
Journal.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04
Business Before Pleasure.

Horse Thief-Mr. Chairman! After
this little ceremony is concluded will
you oblige me by collecting this insur-
ance policy and handing the cash to my
widow?
Chairman of Lynching Party-C Certain
ly! What concern are you insured with?
Horse Thief-The Arizona Mutual
Life.
Chairman (hurriedly) = Gentlemen!
We had better not act hastily in this
matter. Taking mans life isa serious
thing, and as | am president and
treasurer of the Arizona Mutual Life. I
don't care to take any risks of this kind.
| move that this business be indefinitely
postponed.-Lowell Citizen.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04
China's Great Encyclopedias.

A recent Pekin Gazettee contains a
a memorial from the Chancellor of the
Hanlin or Imperial College on the ne
cessity for re-editing the great encyclo-
pedia compiled one hundred years ago
in the reign of Kienlung, and of which
only four copies in manuscript are now
supposed to exist. This work, the index
alone to which consists of fourteen large
volumes, contains complete compen-
dunn OF the classics, and includes also a
collection of every thing written and
revised by the Emperors themselves or
published under imperial authority. It
embraces, says the Chancellor, all knowl-
edge under Heaven, and reflects, as in
mirror, the past and present.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04
A monkey recently brought a ,

"A monkey recently brought Grim.
inal to justice at Singapore. A native,
with little boy, bear; and monkey
travelled through the Straits settle
ments and made goodly sum of money
by his animals tricks. One day he was
found with his throat cut, the boy and
the bear lying dead close by, while the
monkey had escaped up tree. The
bodies, with the monkey, were taken to
the police station, when the monkey
suddenly rushed at man in the crowd,
seized his leg and would not let 60.
The man proved to be one of the MUIR
derers.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04
HERE AND THERE.

| ii you want rhubarb pies early next
spring, work manure from the pig pen
into the soil about the plants this fall.
"A small farm may be made larger
without extending its area, by deepen.
ing and enriching the soil and moro
thorough cultivation.
If there is surplus grain or hay 1t
may pay to buy very poor stock to fat
ten, but the stock on the farm should
never be allowed to fall of in condition.
AT this season the ewes should be
carefully attended to. They must be in
good condition for providing plenty Of
milk to the lambs that come in early
next season.
| Fall pigs must be pushed rapidly, so
as to have them we'll grown before cold
weather overtakes them. The very
young pig, if exposed to severe cold,
| will soon become stunted and grow
slowly.
Tho best way to get rid of willows
or other trees liable to sprout from the
| stump is to girdle them and let them
stand until they cease to produce leaves.
By this plan all trouble with sprouts
| will be avoided.
Six thousand ducks are annually
marketed from the farm of a prominent
I yet unostentatious farmer in Massa-
chusetts, who comprehends the idea OF
handling his stock in way to yield him
return quick, with little expense for
their keeping.
-Gravelly soils, that would not other.
| wise be suitable for corn-crops, make
excellent locations for grapes, though
the grape will be better on deep, rich
sold. Old bones, leather refuse and lit.
tor of all kinds may be buried around
| the roots of the vines with advantage.
1t is a curious fact, SO announced.
that If cider is scalded to 1875 to 100 de.
grees, it will not make vinegar, as this
heat destroys the bacteria that form
vinegar. This same temperature de-
stroys the bacteria in the silo, and this
is perhaps the explanation why it re-
mains comparatively sweet.
-Well-cured hay is nearly as con-
centrated as grain in proportion to
weight. Corn contains about 10 Der
cent. of moisture and hay Is per cent,
but hay contains three times as much
mineral matter as corn and more nitro
gen. Hay, however, contains ten times
as much crude fiber as corn and less fat.
The Farm Journal insists that
calves, colts and all young animals
should be treated SO that they will come
to you as friend. If you feel ugly and
must kick something, let it be log or
a stone wall, or something that will not
suffer. A few experiments in this line
may cure you of the habit of feeling
ugly.
-Hoard's Dairyman says that, ton for
ton, many farmers are finding out that
unthreshed oats, cut when the grain is
in the rather soft dough state, and cut
fine with a straw-cutter, are better than
meadow hay-cut equally fine-to feed
cattle, especially mich cows. As a
rule, good farmers raise far more weight
OF oats to the acre than hay.
One Of the very best places to keep
sweet potatoes during winter is tight
| loft or room over the kitchen, SO con-
structed that the heat from below can
readily be utilized in warming the loft
orupperroom. The two important things
about keeping sweet potatoes in winter
are to keep them dry and YARN enough
70 Keep them from tresstpG
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-12-04

"A Newark IN. j. caterer advertises
to supply flowers, walters, musicians,
china and glassware, silyerware, drug
gists, awnings, etc."
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1889-02-28
Star valley Items.

EDITOR INDEPENDENT:-Weath very
spriug-like with an abundance of mud
which causes travel over the roads to be
very limited.
VIM. Smiley and L. W. Stellar have
returned from their visit to California.
Mrs. w. Weatbers who has been on
the sick list for some time is able 10 be
out again.
Henry Smiley has badly broken
limb, caused from his horse falling Oh
it while riding after cattle. DR.. Meigs
was called to his assistance,
Star Valley is rightly named as the
small stars are very numerous and
still increasing, three Births having
occurred within the last week.
Miss Alice Armstrong is expected
home soon, as her school in Ruby VAL
ley closes this week. This will cause a
pleasing smile on the faces of some of
our young men
Mrs. D. V. johnson is slowly re-
covering from a recent attack of illness.
The whoopiug cough is still making
itself known among grown people as
we'll as children.
Il is reported that the Deeth school
will open next week with Miss Hannah
Johnston as teacher.
The ball at Deeth on February 22nd
was quite a grand success. The hall
was full to OVERLOOKING with pleasure
seekers from Elko, Lamoille, Wells and
Star Valley. Everyone seemed to ell
| Joy themselves.
Mr.. and Mrs. McAdams make q
model host and hostess.
UNKNOWN.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1889-02-28
FOrtiter I'm Re.

Oh, shout your song, Nevada wales,
BE thine the exuberance Of mirth;
The golden snake has failed to find,
Within thy Capitol berth.
Unsullied now by further stain,
Arise thy star with brilliant light;
When Right called for champion bold,
Thou vert not backward in the fight.
If JOY within the Highest Heaven
Be DER one mans repentant act.
To Sister States let ne'er be said
Appreciation you have lacked.
For when UPON Nevnda's soil
The Tempter tried his power to show,
Thousands OF honest hearts and hand 8
Replied, emphaticalIy, NO"
Aye! Firm in purpose thou asst proved,
Nevndn's strength was plain y shown;
Though dark the cloud OF evil swept,
H"s Harmless DER thy valleys blown.
NoMEN.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1889-02-28
Ehe Rifle Club EsnII.

"Collar Buttons" sends us graphic
description of the ball given by the Car
lin Rife Club on the 22nd inston nj, from
Which it appears that it was an extern
s;ve, eIabo ate aud recherche affair. We
are compellt d to omit the commuuica-
ton for several reasons, among which
are that it is little late in coming in;
that on account Of its length it would
require days work of the whole INDIE
PENDENT force to put 1t in type; that it
would take up all the available space Of
one issue of this paper to the sxclusit n
Of other matter, and would be of inter
est to but few of our readers; hence we
must respectfully decline onr fair cores
prndent's request to publish.
We do not wonder that the member
WAS courtmarshaled for his uilbecoming
Behavior in the presence of ladies.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1889-02-28
The Svvitzer1aud of America.

The famous Alpine scenery of Switz-
erland has been celebrated in romance
and song. and uutil recently the natucal
scepery of that country has been con-
sidered the finest in the world; but since
tie com pleiiou OF the D. IL r. G.. Ry
from Denver to Salt Lake City there has
been opened up to the travelling world q
panorama of tue haDdiwork of the Su-
pceme Architect of the Universe whish
eclipses the fsr-famed wonders of Ma
ture displayed 70 the tourist who visits
Europe in search Of natural grandeur
aod magnifcence, and the reg on tray
ersed by this route has been Designate
by celtb a q travellers 1.-THE Switzer-
land of America''
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1889-02-28
We object.

A bill has been introduced, A. b.
40, which authorizes the District Jndg-
es to select newspaper that shall pub
lish legal documents. We do not con-
slider the measure just one, as it gives
the several Judges power which is
not properly within the scope OF their
prerogative; and while it might not
generally work an injustice it would
give these officers the opportunity, II
they so desired, to discriminate against
certain newspapers. With this visw Of
the case we are opposed to the bill.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1889-02-28

M. Reinhart has
just received his
Spring and Summer
samples for custom
made clothing. If
you want your
clothes made to Or
der, give him a call
and see as fine a
line Of samples as
has ever been ex-
hibited in Elko.
You can get a suit
of clothes made to
order from $21 90
UP. Fit Guaran-
teed.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1889-02-28
BORN.

ARMsTRoNa:- I'm Star Valley, Elko Go.
Nevada, February %, 1889, to the
wife of Wilson B. Armstrong, q
daughter.
LANE:--In Star Valley, Elko Co., Neva-
dn, February &c. 1889, to the wife of
Horace NJ. Lane, son.
AnLEs:-At Deeth, Nevada, February
IL, 1889, to tho wife of August Allies,
O son.