Milford chronicle. [volume] (Milford, Del.) 1878-1974, 1889-08-30

wonderful Performances of the Man Who
Sells Gold" Pens--A Razor That VIII
Cut wood, Tin or Hair-A Telescope Man.
Revenue of Hand Organ.
"Here's gold pen, gentlemen, made Of
three metals-copper, nickel and platinum.
Only G-i-yo cents. It beats any other gold
pen ever made or ever viii be made. III
SHOW you Here, one Of you gentlemen select
pen-auy one on this big dishful OF them.
Now see me write with it,.
Scratch, scratch, on "a slSet Of white paper.
"Nou Sea this pen makes broad strokes as
well as fine oues-it is the boss pen. Talk
about fountain pens-why, this one beats all
of them hollow. Il is the finest pen ever
made, only f-i-ve cents You go into State
street store and youth have to pay from
dollar and a half to three dollars for pen
thpt isn't half as good as this one No sir!
You try IT, that's all l want. And now
watch mel You see, l stick this pen into the
wood with all my strength" And he did
stick it into his little table, so that the per
and holder quiyered and trembled. Then he
pulled it out "And now I'll try it again
There is nothing, absolutely nothing, this
pen won't stand in the way Of abuse. You
see ! stamp on it with my No. II shoe. Just
us eHllA ITS HNELs ANNtlel tAAtAA nan ANAA9s
Did You ever see anything to beat it, You
never did. You never viii This is the boss
pen, gentlemen, only f-i-ve centsn
And then the fazir showed his "silvern pen
cis-ouly a nickel He made further expert
ments with his "golln pen, which seemed &c
really stand any amount of abuse. But the
crowd arouud him wasn't much on the literary
line None of them bought pen. II was
crowd made up Of wicked young darkies, Of
frowsy women and begriIned children, and
probably few Of them knew how to write at
an
WONDERFUL ELECTRIC EMERY
This particular fakir stood at the intersec-
tioa of Fourth avenue and Van Buren, street,
and there were six OF seven competitors of
his to the right and to the left of him. Some
Of them were, however, doing rushing trade
Tine weather was fine and hundreds of people
passed 20 and fro, There was the razor man,
for instance He had only one razor in his
stock. 1t was an extraordinary razor Any
other razor would have given up the ghost
and split if subjected to half the hard usage
this one was. The fakir bad a little case rest
ing ON = sort of adjustable tripod, and in that
case he kept his wares. They consisted Of
tiny boxes filled with electric emery"
lie had also sheets Of tin and big block
VI NhlN ne GAll lfetl away go AtlN Ali's ana
he sliced or long shavmgs Of tin with that re-
maIkabe razor Of his, just rs if he were cut
ting soft butter, without any effort, What
this razor was made Of goodness only knows
1t couldn't be mado of steel, for in that cIse
it would have broken into fragments. What
ever it was made Of it was a very phenix
among r0zors. The fakir was very glib Of
tongue, and looked as if he would just as soon
cut somebody's throat with his razor for a
living as to try and sell his electric emery"
lie pulled ont little box Of it, put speck of
the greasy brown stuff on his razor and then
he Whetted his knife on a common BARRIERS
strop After that he seized boys arm and
shaved of the hair on it. He chopped oil
chunk after chunk from his block Of wood
He jagged the tin sheet in the most desperate
manner, and then he seized that boys arm
onco more and cut of more hair. The razor
was just as sound and sharp as ever. Won
derful razor!
Instead of going to the BARRIERS to get a
hone, he screamed, 'you buy box Of cleo
trio emery-the wonder of the age my own
invention, for which | was offered 100000
cash down, copyright secured, and refused
ana then you are fixed for a life time It's
only ten cents box or three for quarter
Cheap as dirt, and it can't be beat Why,
gentlemen, I've had offers from the sultan of
Turkey But despotisn is mine, not mind.
It's true | only earn about $50 a day, but
prefer poverty and freedom to riches aud
slavery"
"Giye me a box of it, said a seedy looking
elderly man, who carried a small sachel and
steel watch chain. 1T will sharpen a razor
as sure's you're born. used to go to the
BARRIERS, but ! find this to he the boss stuff.
v-i-fI Voft'I foil ma how fo fa1Qlra if
"Thatll cost you Sl00 and q written guar
antea that you won't diyulge the secret to
any body else"
Cant you make it a bit cheaperl I'll
give you $50, cash down.
Couldn't think of it. Hundred dollars or
nothing"
So the elderly man with the sachel paid his
10 cents for a small box and meandered off
He didn't go far, though. He stopped at the
nearest corner, and from that coigne Of van
tage be eyed the crowd, and as he two min
utes later spied another man that looked like
a "suckern he wandered past the stand once
moro and bought another box, saying he
couldn't get along without it, and would be
glad to pay five times the price if he couldn't
get the stuff any cheaper
blind mendicant, young and well dressed
dark mulatto, sat on the opposite corner
lie had before him an organ. IL was an au
tomato one, and on top of it was slot and a
bell A tin sign read; II am blind and need
your help, kind stranger Another sign read;
"Drop nickel in the slot and see it regis
tered Somebody did drop nickel in the
slot. Immediately the organ played a tune
and the register marked. 1t showed that
within one hour and thity-fva minutes the
young darby had taken IN Sl.l5.
At this iuucture n man with a thing he
called "cammery obscury" came ON. He
promised to show the sun, the moon, the plan
cts, the stars and the "whole solar and stellar
SYSTEM to the neophyte for five cents. He
was the same man who, last year, showed by
means of telescope" twenty feet long the
same heavenly sights He said the telescope
hadn't paid. He had hired It by the day
only, and when he found "cammery oh
scury" would answer the same purpose, with
much smaller expense, he had gone in for
that "See the whole thingl Why, yes, Ger
tainly, if your eyes are strong enough, - he
said. As matter of fact his whole outfit
consisted in smoked glass.-Chicago Herald.
a Centipedes Enemy.
A centipede Is afraid of tarantula, and
when he lies down to sleeD he alwavs takes