Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-12
RIPE.

Getting mellow every night is no way to attain ripe old age.-Boston Bulletin.
 Prominent Republicans have their photo graphs taken cabinet size now.-Pittsburgh
 Chronicle.
 Perphaps the most potential letter of the alphabet is s'n" because it can make man of fma.-Binghamton Republican.
 The humorist who said the Potomac was running for Congress was little familiar with popular congressional beverages.
 A La Mode.-Miss w. (from Chicago)- ''Do you know, my dear, I think shall have my new dress made in the umpire stvle."- Life
 'sI cannot look back over the path have trodden without giving me pain" as the man said who had two boils on his neck.-Dans- vile Breeze.
 It requires but little faith for man to be- lieve he is made of dust after he has asked for credit and found that his name is mud. Boston Courier.
 love is the name of new publication em-
 anating from Brattleboro, Vt. We suppose
 the motto of the publishers is Buy Jove." Rochester Post-Express. One ounce of arresting somebody for car rying concealed weapons before he kills
 somebody else is worth 8 pound of murder
 trial.-New Orleans Picayune. A sdeaf mute" church has been dedicated
 in Philadelphia. A fellow could snore all
 through the service and disturb nobody. Let's emigrate.-Dansville Breeze. Yes, gentle reader, it may be true that marriage is a failure; but it is often the same with marriage it is in business, where failure makes 6 man better off than he ever was before.-Boston Transcript. Billie (with an injured air)-"Your father l kicked me last night" Evangeline-"Oh, ! dear, I'm so sorry. I hope he didn't hurt l you much; you zee, he's in the habit of foot l ing all the ill."-Shoe and Leather Repor- ter.
 Mrs. Cross @ a. m.)-"Henry, what's the
 matter with you? You have left the latch key on the outside of the door!" Cris. Cross Well. m dear, you didn't pect me t un- lock the door from tn inside, did y's"- Puck.
 Mrs. Gabb-"What sort of folks are those new neighbors of yours?" Mrs Gadd-ftWell, I've been watching their back yard for two weeks, but as they send their wash to laun- dry can't tell anything about them. "-New York Weekly.
 Editor-''That little item of yours yester- | day reminded me strongly of some of Shake speare's work" Funny man (blushing) -"Ah, thank you. It is kind of you to say so. In what respect, may inquirea" Editor-"In age, principally. Was ashington Post. l A Character Study.-Scene-Ths Junior
 Thespian Club-First Professional-''so you're going touring with Bounder?" Sec
 ond Ditto-"Yes; he'sgoing to put on Little | Nell,' and I'm cast for Quilp.'" First Ditto j-"Quilpa So you won't have to make up." Fun.
 No Use for It-Agent-F'I desire, miss, to ! leave th1s circular with you. It refers to a | typewriting school which has just been l started and in which the art is taught at the low price of" Pretty girl-'I am not in- 1 terested in typewriting, sir. I have resolved
 never to marry ry'"-Philadelphi Record. From a cathedral close comes to us the story of discussion concerning 8 certain gentleman who was blessed with nose of | Bardolphian size and color. ''He mnst be 8 \ Heavy drinker," said one cleric. ''Not at all," said another; fI knew his father and I his grandfather, and they had the same un- l fortunate kind of nose" "Ah," was the re- | ply, ''evidently a case of damnosa heredi- l tas. s."-St. James, Gazette. Some men gain credit and renown | By promising to pay, But other men must pay cash down l Cause they are built that way. 1 -Gorham Manufacturer.