The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-04-02
BRIGHT BITS.

| GIRLS who use powder don't go of any
quicker than those who don't.-BostoH Courier.
PERSONS who have not yet started for the
| lower California gold fields may find that there
| ls luck in leisure Philadelphia Inquirer.
WESTERN CoNsT1TUENT-So you're a demo
craft Give me your hand!
Washington Belle (absent-mindedly) - Ask
papa.-Epoch
Il WAS badly bitten by flies in every country
| in Europe except Belgium"
Have they none there?'
81 don know. didn't go there ''-Harper's
Bdzdr.
HEAVY JoURNALIsM-Old LADY, hope, my
| boy, you don't sell papers on Sunday?
Small Newsboy (sadly)-No. mann; l amt
big enough ter carry Sunday edition yet
Hdrper's Bdzdr.
You can't do anything without money, my
boy"
20, yes you can"
I'D like to know what?'
Get in debt. y YOnkers Statesman.
THE MARCH OF CULTIvATIoN.-Mr Bluff Ito his
travelling acquantance)-Surprs at the
evidences Of culture you saw in the west Ell?
Why, they're raiSin' corn in the Kaw river bot
tom-lands that's sixteen feet high. If the east
| can beat that for culture, you'd better show up
the goods!-Lite.
GEN. GREELY with a self-satisfied air)-I've
got EN- this time. There won't be any com
plants tomorrow.
Assistant Observation-Disclosures won't?
NO, stree I've predicted fair weather and
change of temperature, with local rains
Philadelphia Record
81 THINK MYSELF" said Stetson, looking at
his lovely young wife just before they started
for the ball: Il think myself that too much
fuss is being made over the decolete dress. In
fact, the more | see Of it the more convinced
become that there isn't enough of it to
raise even a small row over. Philadelphia
Inquirer.
CLARA, who was that young man that spent
Papa that was Charley Cool, the son of Mr..
Cool, the ceman"
Has his father got any ice?"
"A little, Charley says
Marry him, my dear; he'll be a millionaire"
Chicago Herald.
HOTEL Professionalism is the matter with
that sick gentleman in my office?
Physlcian-Jln- Jams.
sir, that gentleman is one of nv Oldest
guests, and has the most expensive apartments
in the house
20, he is suffering from nervous prostration."
Philadelphia Record.
'LIGE-General, here's another Indiana fellow
The President-What recommendations has
he? 81
'Lige-He says he helped you defend man
The President-Put him on the list I never
knew l had so many law pardners.-- Toledo
Blade.
WHEREIN HER SUCCESS LAY-Mother Ito
daughter)-l understand, my dear, that you
made quite an impression at the conversations
the other evening.
Daughter-YeS, mamma.
Mother What subject did you discuss?
Daughter-I didn't discuss anything, mamma;
let others do the discussing.-Hdrper'S Mega
zine.
Now that the Martha Washington curtsy has
been revived, may we not hope for return of
the common sense that distinguished George
Washington's wife Fashionable society of
n a ayta hot
quality which makes woman the best friend and
companion Of man. The husband has been no
where and the wife has been everywhere
Boston Gazette.
WITH MEN in Wall street becoming insane
from overwork and men in the New York
prisons going crazy from enforced idleness
there would seem to be more reason than ever
why these two institutions should form a com
bination. 1t would level matters up, and save a
good deal of transportation in the bargain, If
the state would fence Wall street in and abandon
her present prisons Washington Post.
Mrs. De TEMPER docking up from the paper
Well, | declare Another woman, single
handed, has captured burglar. / should think
she would have been killed by the brute; but the
paper says the moment she grabbed poker
and made dash for him his knees trembled
and his teeth shook and he sank to the floor in
alright.
Mr.. De Temperate is probably married
man.-NeiO York Weekly
So WIsE-"O, mamma" she said with a lit
tie burst Of girlish conf ence, what do you
think? Mr.. Iddyot proposed last nightr'
An, did he, my dear? And what did my little
girl say?"
'Oh, told him that engagement was too
solemn and sacred thing to me to be entered
into without serious and prayerful considera
ton, and that | would give him my answer in a
week. And now, mamma mine. must 90
right TO work and find out if he really and truly
has fifteen thousand year and cottage at Bar
Harbor"
You dear, wise little girl" cried the fond
mother, folding her child to her bosom and
weeping softly over her.-Puck.