davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
WIVES WHILE YOU WAIT.
A Lovers Agency that Supplies Needed
Assistance to Cupid and Puts Old Bach
elors in Danger.

A Lovers Agency that Supplies Needed
Assistance to Cupid and Puts Old Bach
elors In Danger.
Washington Star.
II presume, sir, that your intentions
are perfectly honorable" said the red
nOsed man behind the big deck. This
bureau regards it as part Of its business
to protect it's innocent and trCstful female
customers from falling prey to the wiles
of constituencies deceivers, whose preten-
sions 10 real manhood are exclusively ex-
pressed by pair Of psntalOons apiece"
The red-nosed man scowled virfuously
as he uttered these words, and the S'dr re-
porter noticed that the same formula pre-
cisely was reproduced at the bottom of the
printed circular that had Just been handed
to him.
II am tired of being bachelor" he re-
piled, simply, land 1 have understood
from your advertisement that your lovers
agency is prepared TO furnish wives to or
der"
''You are talking business. We have
many very beautiful and accomplished
young ladies at present on our books
short and tall, plamp and thin, blonde
and brunette-all blessings waiting to be
appropriated by the lucky fellows"
"And you will INTRODUCES me to some Of
them?"
"No, sir. That is not our way. The
irst thing necessary for you 10 do is to be-
come a member of the Order of the Gold
en- Circlet, Of which ! am president and
treasurer. The entrance fee, payable in
advance, is IS. By The payment Of that
sum you are admitted TO the order, with
out initiation or further iOfmalty. At
the same time, however, you are required
to fill out one Of these blanks, giving full
description of yourself, including age,
height, weight, color Of hair, eyes and
complexion, nationality, education, dispo-
sitiOn, habits as to liquor and tobacco, and
financial standing. You give me a photo
graph and I.give you number, for cores
pondence between male and female mem
bers Of the order is fAscted entirely
through the medium OF numbers, and this
is the general post Office"
"Aud l presume you viii let me see
some of the young women's Photographic"
"By 10 means. We take ss few
chances as possible ofreveaing their iden-
tity; for their negotiations with rs are
conducted in the stricte9t confidence"
as the young bachelor expected to 20
il blind, then, and select his bride after
the oriental fashion, without seeing her
beforehand"
Certainly not; and if you will give me
an opportunity l will make it clear to you.
When yon have had your name entered in
my private membership books, which are
open to no one but myself, will show you
a number of blanks Glled in with the de-
scriptions in full of as many young ladies.
Here is one for example
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
The Knife In Kentucky.
l orisrille Post. City Gnssi

Tt may have been accident my running
across them, bat saw more people with
dangerous looking knives yesterday than 1
had seen in a year before. 1t seemed like
every one met showed me wicked, four
inch pocket knife, or hunting knife,
a bowie knife OF some such weapon.
I could not help thinking, if this was
not an accident, it meant that the I'M
fortunate and horrible duel in Lexington
had again made the knife the popular
weapon in Kentucky, and that far time
at least it would, in a great measure,
supercede the pistol. There is no denying
the fact that the awful Goodloe Swope
butchery has called permanent attention
to the keen double-edged steel knife as n
wespon, and it will surprise me much if
the public does not hear very often in the
near future of desperate fights made with
it. suppo.e that nine-tenths of
the people who make a habit
of carrying deadly weapons have
heretofore preferred the pistol to the knife,
but this will in some degree be changed.
An old citizen told me yesterday that
when Col. Bowie fought bis historic
duel in Texas, away back in the fOrties. it
became Immediately fashionable for gen.
tlemen in the South 10 keep on their per-
sons the famous bowie-knife or something
similar to it, and that for several years the
pistol was rarely heard Of in street encOun-
ters, broils and the like, and that many
dueis of that period were fought out with
the slsshing, bloody knife. The tragedy
in Lexington may cause some such state
of feeling among the blOOdthirssy and bru-
tai element.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
Sometime ago Professor Baird brought

Sometime ago Professor Baird brought
Mr.. Hendley the fragments of a cup OF
the most delicate sevres. It's thickness
was that of an egg shell and its weight
equal TO that of sheet of paper.
81 don't think you can do anything
with this, Hendley," said the Professor,
"but you may try"
In ten days Mr.. Hendley sent TO Profess
sor Baird the cup complete. Now, the
Professor loved ceramics and was consid-
cred a connoisseur of no near ability, but
at such work ne was astounded.
81 don't see how in the world you ever
fixed it." ssiy he.
81 didn't" said Mr.. Hendley.
But here it is whole, and gave 1t to
YOU in pieces" was the bewildered reply.
Then came Nh Hendley's triumph as
he remarked cOOlly:
THAT is not the same cup. 1t is an
imitation"
The method of this mans work Is IN
explicable even to himself, unless II Is sd-
mitted that he is a genius. -,
81 never start with any fixed plan, "
said he, "and often have to give up tie
work, but it generally comes to me in the
end and brings success"
Mr.. Hendley, finding the reproduction
oftbe human form within his powers, has
continued in that line. Just now he Is
making a figure of Geronimo, the famous
Indian chief who inaugursted reign Of
terror in the West and kept lot of sol
diers busy chasing him. Not satisfied with
way AZ medium, Mr. Hendley has IN
vented a compound of his own. As to
its manufacture he declines to say any
thing, but for human forms it is start
lingiy well adapted, as even after model
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
Miss -, No. &c.

Disposition.
n. B-Plnmp and saucy, clear skin
and good figure; says che knows how to
cook and keep house; father q wholesale
grocery clerk.
1.-The N. b. is added by myself" ex-
planned the red-nosed man. 'Cf course,
the name and address of the young lady
are inscribed in my secret books, opposite
the number 90, so that / alone know who
che is. I may show you 20 such descrip-
tive blanks each representing female
member of the order, and, if yea select
from among them No. 26, say, as the one
appearing to satisfy your notions Of lowell
ness best, place you in communication
with her at once. You write pretty lit
tie note to the fair unknown and leave it
with me; place it in pigeonhole No 26,
and when she comes in she gets it. A re-
ply, penned by her, goes into your box,
and so the correspondence progresses until
photographs are exchanged and, very like
w, an appointment made for a meeting
somewhere"
$50 you don't have them here"
Scarcely. cannot turn my Office into
a trysting place for lovers, and then, too,
it would make things less private. The
counting must be done outside. 1t is not
likely that the first young woman you are
made acquainted with Will prove TO be the
one sought; but, sooner or later. you are
pretty certain TO discover your afiuity-a
lady who duplicates your mental, moral
and physical chsracteristics-in short, the
wife you have been looking for. And, by
the way, the popular notion that two
persons of opposite sex in order TO get
along together should be as opposite as
possible IN point of temperament and
physique in my opinion is sheer nonsense.
Those people agree best as man and wife
whose tastes and feelings are alike, and
who Jog along side by side through life
thinking the same thing and liking or dis
liking the same things Perhaps / should
mention now that upon marriage you are
expected to pay SIS additional into the
treasury Of the order"
at is rather hard TO tell much about a
girls character and disposition on ordinary
acquaintance" sighed the reporter, low
spiritedly.
"Not at all, said the red-nosed man.
"Study her from the point Of view Of the
physiognomist and the problem is readily
solved. Remember that the forehead is
the seat of intellect, the mouth is the in
dex of the affections, the eyes are the
mirrors Of the soul, the nose is the
measure Of activity and ability, love is
expressed in the chin, and the general
contour Of the head denotes the tempera-
ment.n
The reporter observed that the same
formula was embodied in paragraph Of
the printed circular Of the agency, as he
read it on his way back to the Office in a
street car. He has not fully made up his
mind yet to seek wife through the red
nosed mans ministrations, partly for the
reason that he has one already and it
might excite unpleasantness.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01

piled up fifty thick and placed under a
heavy piece Of machinery provided with
many hundred punches so arranged so as
to pierce the spaces between the stamps,
The sheets are run through legthwise.
and afterward changed in position, and
the cross perfOrations made. They are
then ready for issue. Each sheet is di-
vided in two equal parts, and the stamps
are delivered to the government. The
postmaster general issues them on the re-
QUESTION of the various postmasters.
The method Of engraving postage
stamps in France is somewhat different
from that employed in this country and in
England The work is done by the gov
eminent, and the exact process is care
fully kept secret. But one pair of steel
dies are used, impressions being taken
from them by a process closely resem-
bling stereOtyping and the sheets being
printed as from type. The subsequent
processes are similar TO those used in this
country.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
A Truly Model Woman.
The Wash.

Jones came home at an uuseemly hour
one night and was surprised to see Mrs.
Jones sitting up for him below stairs.
"M-M-Maris," ne said, huskily, ''y-yOu
shouldn't sit mp slate when Pm out on
business"
As Mrs. Jones did not answer him, he
continued in an alarmed voice:
"Shorry, m'dear, but it's last time-tell
YOU m sorry. Won't speak to me-"
At this moment Mrs. Jones called from
above stairs:
'Mr. Jones, who are you talking TO at
this hour Of the night?"
"Thas'h what ike to know myself, "
stammered Jones.
MIS-. Jones fastened down stairs, lamp
in hand. When she saw the situation
she laughed, in spite Of being very angry.
ITS the model she said; 1.-THE model
I bought to-day to fit my dresses on"
."Yes, thas'h So, said Jones, tipsily,
''model woman didn't talk back-make
some fellow good wife"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01

Hendley's hands and 90 away just as
pretty and good deal more permanent
especially fish. In his exhibitions at the
Fishermen's Exhibition in London, Mr.
Hendley's work took first premiums all
the way through, and it is said that his
shad were so life.like that the Englishmen
were willing to bet that they had roe in
side-and they had, but not for Matching
purposes.
The enemies of a prominent statesman
here sag that whenever his goes fishing be
borrows a string of fish from Mr.. Hendley,
which hs carries triumphantly through
the streets to a photograph gallery, where
the pictures of both man and tish are Ia
ken in perihelion, after which the fish are
returned TO their creator. The statesman
denies having been photographed twenty
times with the same bunch of fish and
Mr.. Hendley is silent on the subject.
MCO. LINGAN.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
IS HE WAS SAYING.
The BIacIsmith's Remark About Mule
He Was TO Shoe.
D.fr,sf Trcr prfee

D.trOa Free Press.
A man led raw b0ned, humble-faced
mule down Clifford street, yesterday
morning, turned into Griswold, and
finally disappeared inside a blacksmith
shop.
''Shoes?" querried the stalwart smith.
eyes"
"Hind?"
eyes"
"As was a-saying when you came in
Here he picked up one OF the mules
legs and vas sent hall way across the
shop by a twist of the animals hip. He
returned TO the attack with unrutfled calm
ness, saying:
GAS was a.saying when yOu'n the mule
came in -"
This time be gets a hind foot in the ribs
and was almost knocked over his anvil.
He braced up, opened his eyes a little
wider, and making another grab for the
same foot ne repeated;
CAS- l was a.saying when the mule and
yOu hove -"
This time he got both feet in quick sue
cession, and was driven to the wall ten
feet away.
What is it you are trying TO tell me?"
asked the owner Of the mule.
"Why, l was a-saying as you turned
the corner that if you brought that infer
nal brute to this shop I'd break his back
with a crowbar, and now you get him out
or I'll do it,"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
GENIUS In FINGERS.
HON. JOHN ". HBNDLBY INITIATES Ma
TURF FOR THB GOVERNMENT.
His Work for the Agricultural DspartDsnt-Dupli-
eating Anything From a Fruit to Ss7rss
Cup, and a Bunch OF Grapes to
GerOnimOs Figure.
coPYR75HT 1889.

Stored snugly away in little room not
more than nine feet square in the fourth
floor of one of the big red brick buildings
on Government Reservation number twon
is an old gentleman famous, yet not known
to fame. His works are viewed by thous-
ands of people, yet none know him. In
the National Museum are hundreds of
specimens of his handicraft, yet his name
is attached to none. The specimens of
rare tropical and domestic fruits that load
the shelves and cases of Uncle Jerry 2usk's
agricultural department are, most of
them, creations of his sensitive fingers,
for they are not natural but artificial
fruits. This gray bearded, patriarchial-
looking old gentleman is follower and
imitator of nature. 1t is his legitimate
boast that he can duplicate in external ap-
pearance anything that nature or
man ever yet produced. He is a rolling
stone that got wedged in a crevice Of gov
ernmental employ and now he is gather
ing the moss that constant motion has
heretofore prohibited.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
Dsadwooa,s ps.hInE Belle.

The belle of DeadwOod, S. d, Isl young
and dashiug girl who turned her nineteenth
year on a recent Monday. Her name is
Margaret Sanford and che ia an orphan.
Who her mother was no one seems TO know.
Her father entered mining camp about
twelve years ago, footsore, ragged and sl-
most starved, having walked across the
CANYONS from Nevada. The miners gave
him food and clothing and began 20 con-
stitute themselves little MaTgaret's body
guard. One night the old man was found
dead before the door, which the drifting
snow had fastened so he could not enter.
The child was asleep inside. After the
funeral she became a sort of a Wanderer,
going and coming at will, and making
many valuable discoveries of ore. She
learned TO use the rifls and revolver, and
became one Of the cTacK shots Of the camp
With two exceptions ehe was never mo-
Tested. and there was funeral aftsr each
Of these attacks. A year ago she struck
an ore b a richer than most of those in that
vicinity snd sgain led the miners to the
spot. This time they made voluntary
contract to give her One-fonrth Of the
yield They kept their word and she Is
now rich woman. She is tall, slender
and good-looking, and wears long, golden
hair streaming down her back. On horse
back she Is a perfect b5ckwOOds picture,
with her short skirt, buckskin leggings,
brown shoes and wide-brimmed hat.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
AN EASY VICTIM,
How BaIisntine Got the Best of George
Augustus ssla.
y,o,Jbfs CrmFrniOn.

On one occasion, that famous journalist,
Mr. George Augustus Saa, was called as q
witness in a newspaper libel suit. He was
treated with much respect by the counsel
who frat examined him, and with even
more respect by the presiding Judge. Then
it became necessary for Mr.. Sals to sub
NIT to Sergeant Ballantine's cross-examina-
ton.
Now it is, and has for years been, noto-
rious that Mr.. Sala bears very red nose
on his face, and it is known that on great
occasions, when making his toilet, he ap-
plies a certain amount Of 'pesrl powder"
to that nose. He had done SO on this &C.
casion, and when Mr.. B3llantine rose to
question him, that lawyer locked ixedly
at Mr.. Sals, then assumed his glasses and
looked still more intsntly at him, until the
witness began TO feel uncomfortable.
Then. in measured tones, Sergeant Ballan-
tine remarked, 'AIr. SaIa, you've got some
-four upon your nose"
The court, of course, Uttered. Mr.. Sala
got angry. Sergeant Ballantine stared
blaadly at the ceiling, and soon made an
easy victim of witness whose complal-
ssnce was completely shattered.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
NEW WAY TO PAY AN OLD DEBT.
The Actors Check to the Manager for the
Required 700.
Now York Tribune

There ID a theatrical manager in this
city who is 20 we'll known that if his
name were TO be disclosed in connection
with THE story his friends would give him
no rest. So in this column at least he
must out Of kindness remain nameless.
II happened that an actor IL one Of his
companies was one Of those elOquently
nersuasiye men who always keep several
hundred dollars ahead OF their salaries.
Now the longer he remained in the COM
papY the more he owed the manager
until this second person was COM
PEELED in selfdefense to rid himself Of
his expensive player. When the two
men parted there Wss balance IN favor Of
the manager Of an even 500. After sew
eral months bad passed without the debt
or's making any offer "to pay up" the
manager determined to do little dun
ming" The actor was playing in Boston
at the time, and Mr.. Y that Is safe
name for him to wear in this story sent
him the following note 81 am greatly in
need of funds. Can't you send me a check
for seven hundred2n The player went at
once TO e railroad baggage room and
bought a big brass check Numbered 700.
He tied it to a postal card with piece OF
string. stuck two 2-cent stamps on the
card and addressed it 70 the manager. He
wrote on the other sida Of the postal card:
'My dear x. Certainly. l enclose
YOU check for 700. Glad to square my
self.n
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
Denman rhompsOn's Gold Mine.

NtN IIT : III - 7 7''----'- ~
"Think of Den Thompson playing TO
so. 900 a week at the Academy Of Music.
The Old Homestead is in the third year
of continuous run in this city, and yet its
receipts do not seem to fall OIL at all.
This drama has drawn over a million and
a half Of dollars since it first started on
the road as Josh Whitcomb. Only one
other American play ever earned more
money. That was Steele Mackay's Hazel
Kirke. which was played over five thou
sacd times and drew over two millions.
Yet The Old Homestead may yet break
the record. for it seems to still have its
hand on the purses Of thousands Of peo-
pie
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01

ling it retains its elasticity and to the
touch seems very like human flesh. 1t is
Of this compound that Geronimo is being
made. and while booking at his handiwork
Mr.. Hendley pinched the old Indians
nose and pulled his sars with degree of
familiarity that he would have been I'M
likely to employ had the old warrior been
alive. If any pretty woman should hap
pen to lose her ear or her nose, be II Gre
clan or retrousse, Mr.. Hendley can replace
the missing member with accuracy snd
despatch. His reproduction, if a nose,
will be just as useful as its predecessor,
save to smell with, if an ear, to do every
thing but hear.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
The Czarewitch's Bad Manners.
MIN III.


A very bad impression was made by the
Cza-ewitch at the German autum mar@u-
vres. he is a delicate, stupid looking lad,
with execrable manners. As proof Of bis
plaring want Of tact it may be mentioned
that he persisted in addressing the German
officers in French, although he speaks
their own language very we'll. The En-
peror William was palpably disguised by
the manifold gquchaieS Of his bOOrish
guest. and treated him with the most frig.
id courtesy After the state banquet,
when the Emperor and the Czarewitch
passed slowly through the saloons the
Russian Prince did no, in any way SC
knowledge the salutstiOns he received, and
his ostentatious indifference excited a va
riety Of cauatic criticisms.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
RUSSELL SACHS WEALTH.
he Receives 1 1-2 Per Ceat for $500, 900
Loaned for One Night.
Nflr yo, j. World

Loaned Tor one Night.
NCi9 York World.
A Tell-known Wall street man was say
ing yesterday that ordinarily the wealth
Of men on the street is overestimated by
writer's, and that they are set down for
much more money than they really pos
sess. In the case, however, of Russell
Sage the process is usually reversed, and
he Is credited with having good deal less
than he can easily lay his hands on. This
gentleman estimated Ssge's wealth
at S6O,OOO,0OO and said that he
would rather bay him for $50 600 600
than sell him for that sum. In 1884 the
speaker had an opportunity Of locking over
a part of Russell Ssge's securities and was
surprised to see how many gilt-edged Sc
curities he had, such as original issues of
Rock Island and Chicago and Northwest
sru bonds. Slge's wealth has been &C
quired almost altogether by the manipula'
ZOE of money and a process Of saving
rather than by brilliant coups. He told
me the other night of having loaned $780,
600 over night at J per cent. and getting
S12. 900 for the accommodation. 1t Is such
operations as this, repeated frequently dur
ing the year, which pile up the millions.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01

-.4-ing stamps for use in this
-e summed and dried sheets are
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1889-11-14
Rabbit That Whips Do1s.

There is large white male Angora
rabbit that hops about the Rambo
House stable yard that excites consid-
cradle attention from the fact that in
stead of seeking safety upon the ap-
pearance of any strange dog in the
yard, it at once becomes pugnacious
and attacks the intruding canine. The
rabbit was as timid as any other rep
resentative of its species when it was
placed in the yard several months ago
to keep company with a large, hand
some st. Bernard dog that is familiarly
known by the name of Topsy. A friend
ship sprang up at once between the two,
and their daily romps together sur
prise every one visiting the hotel. The
other day a well-known physician en-
tered the yard, accompanied by very
large dog. He saw the rabbit and dog
at play, and was greatly astonished and
amused to see the rabbit catch the dog
by the throat and shake it vigorously.
He expressed doubt that the rabbit
would attack his dog in the same man
ner, and, upon being assured it would,
urged his dog on. The dog made a
spring at the rabbit, which was on the
alert, and secured it's favorits grip
upon the dogs throat, where it clung,
amidst the howls of the dog, until
compelled to let go its hold.-Norris-
town Times.