Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-11-20

have noticed that when one IS bent upon
making fool of ones self the opportunity is
never lacking. Mrs. Browns opportunity ar
rived with peculiar promptness Next morn
ing while gazing from one OF tne windows
which commanded good view OF the rail-
way. our hostess saw q freight train merge
from the cut beyond the station and roll thun-
derously along. Just as it passed her point of
view she perceived man leap up from be-
hind a clump Of bushes and make dash for
the last car. In another instant he had slipped
from his precarious foothold and had swung
off into the identical clu1np of bushes from
which he had just emerged.
Here was Mrs. Browns opportunity. She
rushed out, ran hastily to the spot where she
had seen the man fall, and found uahurt,
except in temper. a stout. unkempt. individ-
uai, with tramp written In unmistakable
characters on every dirty feature and futter-
ing rag.
Nothing dismayed by appearances, Mrs.
Brown first condoled with him upon his
bruises, for which she received stare and
an oath. She next proceeded to invite him
to breakfast, which last proposition elected
the stare without the oath.
The ragged individual, after partaking Of
a very hearty breakfast, was conducted by
Mrs. Brown, in positive fever of benevo-
lence, to small shed room behind the small
kitchen, nicely fitted for occasional CONNER
cial travelers-here she presented him with
an old suit of Mr.. Browns, clean linen and
whole shoes, and having deferentially limited
that cleanliness is first cousin to goodness,
left him to his additions.
From my post on the upper veranda
Il L. IL
noted that the Adopted One, having been
sent to the shed room with forgotten towels,
improved the occasion by long and earnest
conversation with the disguised angel For
my part suspected that other beings besides
angels might be entertained unawares, and
forthwith decided to communicate that AZ
ION to Mrs. Brown. My discourse was all to
no purpose; that infatuated woman had
burnt her ships and would not retreat.
As / was leaving her that Adopted One
appeared, and in demure tones announced
that:
1.-THE count wished razor Immediately"
With an attempt at sarcasm l asked Mrs.
Brown when the noblernan had arrived.
Mrs Browns face positively shone with
delight as she replied that the disguised angel
had announced himself as German count
under a financial cloud, not presumably sill
yer lined.
saw that our hostess soul was 80 uplifted
by having rescued beggar and entertained
a count that her common sense was for the
time annihilated. and left bar IN peace, not
doubling that, having been fed and clothed,
the count would take himself of without
delay.
I calculated without my hostess, the count
not only stayed, but dined and supped with
us in spite of my secret representations.
He seemed to have taken possession Of Mr..
Browns house, together with Mr.. Browns
garments, and treated even Mrs. Brown
with condescension. He announced himself
as a German nohleman, and spoke with a
strong accent, e1cspt in moments Of for
getfulnees, when he lapsedn to pure Ameri-
can slang.
It seemed to me that Mrs. Brown had lost
some Of her cheerfulness since the morning;
after supper she followed me into the hail
with an earnest request to remain In the
parlOr during the evening.
II am most sure" she began, nervously,
.'that the count means to stay over night; be
has asked for lamp, and l am afraid can't
get rid Of him."
/ refrained from any allusion to my pre-
vious warnings, and only inquired OF what
possible use could be in the parlor. GER
tainly could not force the man to leave the
house. At this juncture Mrs Brown made a
clean breast of 1t and confessed that she had
good reasons for distressing the count, and was
in terror lest any Of as should annoy him,
in which case he might rob and incidentally
murder us in our beds. Upon urgent inquiry
as to her reasons for these foreboding she in
formed me that since the morning six silver
teaspoons and a silver soup ladle had disap.
peared.
Our only neighbor was the station master,
who was obliged to remain at his post all
night, and it did indeed seem that Mrs.
Brown, in her undisciplned haste to enter
tain an angel. had brought us all into an I'M
pleasant predicament.
That night pas I'd in safety. but the next
day was q renewA- of annoyances. 1t was
Monday morning when the count arrived,
and by Wednesday we were his most cbedient
slaves He ordered dinner and presided at
the table. He demanded music and it was
provided for him. We were, one and all
most tremblingly anxious to propitiate the
man, whom we suspected Of a design upon
our property and our lives. had tried to
resist the tyrant, and suggested to Mrs
Brown that we should get the village consta-
BILE and have him turned out. My hostess
turned positively green with horror. Don't
for goodness sake" she gasped; don't you
see he'll say l invited him here And ther
what can the constable do' Besides, II be
does go away, he'll be awful mad, and it:
more'n likely he'll come back in the nigh,
and murder u.s."
The only person who seemed really to en-
iov the count was the Adopted One. She hac
completely cast of her timidity and had as
sumed quite oppressively naughty manner
To the count only was she famillar-rathel
too familiar, rs it occurred to me, remem
bering that first visit Of hers to the shed
room.
On Thursday Mrs. Brown mustered cour
age TO inform the count that his room wa
needed He replied calmly that IN that cas-
he would take d room in the main building
Mrs. Brown succumbed.
On Friday | ventured, in a moment Of ex
ASPIRATION, TO inquire whether it was tn,
usual custom in Germany for nobleuen Il
tattoo their necks and hands with nautica
and amatory emblenS, such as ships, anchors
hearts, etc.
With imperturbable ilnpudence the coun
informed me that 1t was the custom, and tina
the aforesaid emblems were the coat OF arm
OF his noble house. ! succumbed.
On Saturday, the SIX remaining silver tea
spoons and the best silver teapot vanished
The teapot, being an heirloom, Mrs Brown
made few timid inquiries OF the Adoptet
One That charming creature burst int
tears and appealed to heaven aud the coun
TO protect al lnsulted orphan. The coun