davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1889-05-22
HE KICKED THRICE.
And a Drummer Was Done Up
for the Cigars.

eyes, we meet with all sorts oil
people here" answered the rail.
road conductor, as he sat down
in the smoker after making his
rounds. "Itis a great place in
which to study human nature"
|. Aren't there a good many kick.
ers among Travellers"
"Plenty of them. | could have
a fight every hour in the day if
wanted to talk back. There is
one in the third seat ahead now.
He lives at R, and he never
comes or goes without trying to
kick up a row."
''He seems quiet enough"
"But he only seems. I'm ex-
pecting every minute to hear his
war whoop. 1t is just an hours
run to R, and Ill bet he makes
three kicks in that time"
"I'll go youfor a box ofcigars. -
Done, old fellow"
They were shaking hands on it
when the man rose up and went
to the water cooler. He took two
or three sips OF water and then
walked back to the econduct0rand
said: "When you get ready to
clean the drugs and chemicals ont
of that cooler please let me know.
Perhaps | can buy hall a ton of
coppcras at wholesale figures. >
That's S one," said the conduc-
tor, as the kicker took his seat.
The train stopped and another
round was made, and the official
had scarcely taken his seat when
the kicker came over and said:
"If there is a window i'm this
coach which can be raised | wish
you would label it for me!''
That's two," whispered the
conductor, land We've got six
teen miles to go yet"
The kicker sat down to his news
paper, and he was so quiet for a
time the drummer began to have
hopes. Eight-ten--twelve miles
rolled behind the train, and he
seemed deeply interested in an ar
ticle, when he suddenly bobbed
up and came over to the conduc-
tor.
"l'll bet fifty to one there are
fieas in this coach! Ivejust been
bitten by something like one, and
I'm going to send in complaint
to headquarters" ."
Are you satisfied" asked the
conductor, after the kicker had
taken his seat.
1--WE got to be. And that S his
usual practice. is it"
"0h, he'slet me off light to day"
well, its worth a box OF cigars
I D see into human nature in this
way" unused the drummer as the
train drew up at R.
The kicker and the conductor
got off together, and the former
softly queriel:
"Was it three kicks, Tom"
Yes"
"And the bet ?"
~ box OF cigars"
"All right. Bring my half down
tonight. III br going up again
tomorrow. and you ste if you
can't make it six kicks and two
boxes!"-.New York Sun.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1889-05-22
A ACLOD-HoPPER's IDEA OF
ALITTLE FUN.
COuldn't Fool Him.
New York World, -

sew Avfk Aorius A.M~i
At a church soelabIe held in Nc
Donough, Chenango county, this
State, theyoung ladies having tired
of the device Of raising funds by
selling kisses at a quarter a smack,
decided to put themselves up at aac-
tioa allow themselves to be sold to
the highest bidder-the purchaser
to be allowed to enjoy for the rest of
the evening, to the exclusion of all
Others, the society Of the lady whom
he bought. The Middleton Argus"
in describing what happened, says:
"0f course tse young ladies intend
ed that It snould only be aplay auc-
tion. They meant to be sold in
earnest for fun, and to have a real
lovely time finding out how much
their swains valued them at in hard
cash. In ntheir innocence, however,
they did not reckon upon the guile
less sincerity, impenetrable stupidity
and intensely practical character of
some men, and so it came that one
Of the fair maidens got into very
serious trouble. /. happened that
among the company present was a
clod-hopping vokel who had no idea
that when he bought girl at auc-
ton he didn't really get her at all.
The fellow was known to be very
penurious, to hang ON to his pennies
like grim death to a sick monkey"
and when the auction was in pro-
gress he astonished every one in the
room by the reckless way in which
he ran up the price on pretty girl.
He finally distanced all competitors,
and the girl was knocked down to
him at $40. He drew out his wal
let and counted out the money, and
then said he was going to take her
home with him at once. This was
a new and unexpected development,
and some undertook to explain mat
tiers to the young man; but hewould
listen to no explanation. He'dbeen
TO auctions before and had bought
cows and horses, and, after paying
for them. had taken them home.
He'd bought and paid for the girl.
and why couldn't he take her with
him? What did they sell her for
If they did not intend to let the man
who bought her have her? Did any
one suppose that he would have paid
such price for the girl if he had
known that he was not allowed TO
take her? The more he talked the
madder the victimized countryman
got, and rs he clustered and stormed
the maiden wept and the comedy was
rapidly becoming a tragedy, when
finally il occurred to some one to
give the fellow back his $40. Thi.
was done, and he pocketed il eagerly
and took his departure, mutterinl
as he went that they couldn't foo
him again with their gosh-darnet
gal auctions"
1900 .
Il EN..I-.ta A. D - .....s...
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1889-05-22

Daughter-Mother. the doctor
sque 'zed me so during the waltz!
Mother-Let him-let him! That 5
the way your father was caught!
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1889-05-22

your piano over here. | amt partl-
cularly partial to piano music, but
it does seem too bad for you to have
to walk across that swampy meadow
to Mrs. Harwood's every time you
want to play a tune. So the piano
is to be brought over here this after
noon."
lyon are the dearest mother that
ever was!" cried Gay, hugging the
old lady until she cried out for
mercy on her neatly frilled cap
borders.
And when, in the soft, orange
twilight, Cav sat and played Bon
ME Doom" anil Cruel Barbara Al
len" and all ...e sweet, sad ballads
which were interviewer with memo
ries of the old lady's youthful days,
the tears stole quietly down her
withered cheeks.
"lm glad the piano is here" said
she. II only wish we had sent for
it before. | declare to goodness, it
seems TO talk to one as it were alivem
So the bright year of roses and
red autumn leaves wore itself away.
So the snow came soft and pearly
white, and the crocus buds and lrises
lifted their green spears once again
through the freshening earth. .
i've been making up my ac-
counts" said Mrs. Grey oneevening,
in tone Of triumph. Now, you
know. Gabrielle, I've always told
you what an economy it WAS TO do
our own housewOrk."
"In everything but time," said
Gay, laughing.
"Oh. dear me. what is our time
wOrth?" cried Mrs. Grey. Moth
ing, except to save our husbands's
money with. But look here, my
dear. We have economised exactly
S2i9, counting u girls wages and
her board. Two hundred aud nine
teen dollars. Only think of that"
"But we have worked hard for
it," observed Gay, as she sat with
her cheek resting on her hand. in
the blaze of hickory logs which the
chilly May evening rendered not un-
pleasant.
"0h, yes, we've risen early, and
laid down late, and stepped briskly
around" acknowledged Mrs. Grey.
There's no denying that there's a
deal Of work TO be done on a place
like this. And I'm not by any
means as young as | once was. But
Just see what we've saved!"
And now, mother" said John,
kindly stroking the wnnkled hand
that Law on the cushioned arm of the
rocking-chair," Gay has been max
ing up her accounts"
Yes, mother" said Gay, Ave
sent the picture Of the trout pool to
New York. And il has been sold.
And for how much. do you Think"
well, | don't know" said Mrs.
Grey. ut wasn't so much bigger
than our parlor fire-board. Ten
dollars, perhaps"
"Oh. more than that" said Cav.
with sparkling eyes. ut was sent
to the Academy Of Design. And il
sold for $500"
Three hundred dollars = re-
peated Mrs. Grey in amazement.
What IA little picture like THAT!
That you painted at odd times up in
the north garret bedroom, when the
the housework was done!"
EXACTLY" said gleeful John, put
ting his arm fondly around the waist
II blushing GahrilIe. "Our little
girl here il genius, mother. And
now, what do you say about il?
Shall il BE- housewOrk or art for the
future?"
Mrs. Grey learned over and kissed
GabrilIe teuderly ON the forehead
My dear said," ste, lit seems like
upsetting NIL my like-long ideas and
notions. but, old as | am, ain't too
old tn learn. Well keep q hired
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1889-05-22

Subscribe tO the RLooGDDER.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1889-05-22

Harry Had a great time last
night. old man! Took a girl out to
ride with the new mare, Won know.
and NV arms are lame to-day from
irving to hold her in.
Wlll-The grip
Harry-No; the mare.
Ed Ito Ada in her ball costnlne)
What lovely girl YOU are.
Ada (simply) You ought tO see
me when | an dressed.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
A Brakeman's Invention.

Wallace Durham, Pan Handle brake
man, has invented home telegraphic sys-
tenn, which he has in operation in the neigh
borhood in which he lives in this city. In
each house is a telegraph instrument, and the
men and their wives are operators The diff
ferent families communicate with each other
by electricity, carrying on their converse
lions as if they had all assembled under one
roof. If one engine man receives call to go
out on the road, he notifies his fireman by
wire. The inventor also has his house guard
ed against burglars by numerous wires, so
that the touching of door or window sets
bells to jingling in every part of the building.
Each man on the circuit pays his own ex-
penses. No officers draw large salaries and
no dividends are declared. dianapolis Cor.
Chicago Tribune.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
DAVE WILLIAMS TRICK.
He Tries Two Schemes for Working

He Tries Two Schemes for Working q
Swindle, but Is Beaten at Last.
Dave Williams was the smartest telegra-
pher of the day. Quick witted and fertile in
expedients, he ran up to Virginia City in
1865, when the mining world was lying awake
nights expecting to hear the decision in the
famous Chollar and Wide West claims
Whichever way the Judgment went meant
fortune for the first man that got the news
Williams boldly entered the office at Vir-
ginia City and openly engaged the three
wires running to San Francisco by filing
copy of newspaper for transmission. The
court was tardy and the newspaper was ex-
hausted before the decision was announced
Williams then passed a Bible over the coun-
ter, telling the staff to grind out on that on
three wires. Agents of brokers, who had
been sent to Virginia City on the same mis-
sion, tumbled to the deal and induced the
manager to wire to headquarters for special
instructions. The question of priority on
three wires was raised, and the president
wired back that priority could only be
claimed on a single wire and not on the
whole system. Williams was knocked out
but fortune favored him by delaying the de-
cision several days. Hastily collecting a
camping outfit and hiring wagon, the
plucky operator started for the brush, where
he concealed himself at a spot convenient to
the telegraph line.
The wire was tapped, and receiver and
transmitter cut into the circuit. In this way
Williams learned everything that passed over
the wires. Nothing interested him until one
day the electric spark flashed the news of the
decision. A weeks vigil had almost ex-
hausted the patience of the desperate schemer
His acute ear detected the first announce
ment, and, instantly grounding the wire, he
broke the circuit, and then cutting in he took
up the story and sent an opposite decision
through. A cipher was to apprise his con-
federates in San Francisco what way to buy.
The ingenious swindle fortunately was frus-
trated by Mr.. Yount2, who was chief opera
tor in this city. He detected Williams char
aoteristie style in the sending, and knowing
that Williams was not supposed to be ham
ding a key in Virginia City he ordered the
bogus and cipher dispatches to be detained.
His suspicious were further confirmed by
Virginia City messages beginning to arrive
from the regular operator. These facts, EN-
bracing the languages of both dispatches,
were compared over the wire and the fraud
exposed. This ended Williams connection
with the telegraph system of the Pacific slope
His talents were diverted to stock jobbing,
IN which he realized and dissipated several
fortunes.-San Francisco Examiner,
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
Fish, Oysters and Vegetables.
jan25-1yr

w. II. WILLGoSS announces to the public that
he has opened in the Hurley Building, two doors
above the Postotfice, GREEN GRoCERS STAND,
where will be found the freshest
FISH. OYSTERS and VEGETABLES.
His transportation arrang ements have been
made to his patrons of the very earliest de-
livery of Fish and oysters, after taken out of the
water, and his Vegetables will be fresh from the
gardens. Housekeepers are invited to call and
make PERMANENT ARRANGEMENTS for their sup
plies, which will be given on the most favorable
terms, and by FREE DELIVERY at their doors.
By- My Early Rose Potatoes from Boston are
already in. Samples of these potatoes that have
sold around Staunton have yielded Seventy Five
Pounds for One and a Half.
feb8 3m w. III. WILLGOSS.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
Feb. SILT
Electric RittarS

This remedy is becoming so well known and so
popular as to need no special mention. All who
have used Electric Bitters sing the same song of
praise.-A purer medicine does not exist and it is
guaranteed to do all that is claimed. Electric
Bitters will cure all diseases of the Liver and
Kidneys, will remove Pimples, Boils, Salt Rheum
and other affections caused by impure blood,
Will drive Malaria from the system and prevent
as we'll as cure all Malarial fevers.-For cure of
Headache, Constipation and Indigestion try
Electric Bitters-Entire satisfaction guaranteed
or money refunded.-Price 80 cts and 81 90 per
bottle at Hugh's & Bells Drugstore.
Feb. silt.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
Is CONSUMPTION Incurable :?

Read the following Mr.. c. H. Norris Newar k
Ark, says: "Was down with Abscess of Lungs,
and friends and physicians pronounced me an
Incurable Consumptive. Began taking Dr. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption, am now on my
third bottle, and able to oversee the work on my
farm. 1t is the finest medicine ever made.''
Jesse Middlewart, Decator, Ohio, says: "Had it
not been for DR.. Kings New Discovery for Con-
sumption l would have died Of Lung Troubles.
Was given up by doctors. Am now in best of
health. Try it, Sample bottles free at
Hughs & Bells Drugstore.
Feb, silt.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08

asked the reporter of an old druggist
:" DR.. Pierce's preparations he replied
''They are sold under a positive guar
antee that they. will, in every case. give
satisfaction, or the money is promptly re-
funded: His 'Favorite Prescription for all
those chronic weaknesses, nervous and other
arrangements peculiar to women, is used with
unfailing success. 1t cures weak back, bear
lng-down sensations, irregularities and weak
nesses common to the sex, and being the
most perfect of tonic medicines builds up
and strengthens the entire system. The de-
mand for it is constant, and [ am conversant
with scores of cases cured by it,
Returning after a few moments absence
the venerable wielder of the pestle remarked,
1.-THE number of sarsaparillas and other, So
called blood medicines is legion; but Dr.
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery outsells
them all and it is the only blood-purifer out
of the many which am obliged to keep upon
my shelves, that is guaranteed to benefit or
cure in all cases for which it is recommended,
or money paid for it is refunded"
In the line of Pills, remarked the old gen.
tlemen, " the little Sugar coated Pellets
put up by. DR.. Pierce lead all others, both in
amount of sales and the general satisfaction
they give my customers
Copyright, 1888, by WORLDS DIS. MED. ASSN.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
A Rich MINIS Kind Act.

An incident in a Fourth avenue car con-
tanned just grain of beauty. All the seats
were occupied, when an old, poorly dressed
woman entered at Forty-second street. The
first one to offer his seat was well built.
clean cut gentleman considerably under the
middle age, his face smooth shaven and firm,
his eyes clear and alert, his whole bearing
engaging and graceful. The poor old woman
was one of those loquacious creatures who
often talk away in an innocent manner to
strangers, and SO, after thanking the man
who had given her seat, she told him of her
intended trip to New Jersey to see her mar
ried daughter She wanted to go to the
Christopher street ferry, she said, and didn't
know, for the life Of her, how to do it. Her
new acquaintance listened politely to all she
said, and assured her that he would see that
she was transferred to the blue car at Eigh-
tenth street, which runs to the ferry.
The gentlenaan's bearing toward the simple
old woman was gaining the admiration of
every one in the car, he was so patient and
good natured with her At Eighteenth street
he stopped the car. Just then the desired other
car shot across. Rushing to the front plat
form, the obliging gentleman called loudly
othe driver Of the cross town car. Then he
helped the old woman from one car to the
other, ran back, and smiled good hnmoredly
over all the trouble he had been put to.
The writer recognized this good Samaritan.
He was Cornelius Vanderbilt. He had chosen
to do some unusual conductors work on one
of his own lines of cars-New York Sun.
There seems little doubt but that the
Am erican national game of baseball, so
sOcc aSSfu11V introdunnd int0 AOStra ia nv
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08

ITO OUR READERS.-MALARIA OR AGUE
i SURELY CURED.-In this broad assertion,
we speak positively, that, these and all miasma-
tic poisons, can be radically driven from the sys-
tenn, and a permanent cure guaranteed. Thou
sands of chronic cases, whose testimonials bear
ecidence have been cured by our infaIlible reme-
dy, which contains neither qunine, arsenic, or
anything injurious. Full treatment free by old
physician (specialisG of highest standing, also
trial remedy and treatise sent on receipt of ad-
dress, to ASAHEL MEDICAL BUREAU,
june 22-1yr 29l Broadway, n. Y.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
A Bedtime Song.

A Bed lnG song.
Sway to and fro in the twilight gray,
This is the ferry for Shadowtown;
1t always sails a the end of the day
Just as the darkness is closing down.
Rest little head on my shoulders, so,
A sleepy kiss is the only fare;
Drifting away from the world we go,
Baby and i'll the rocking chair.
See where the firelogs glow and spark,
Glitter the lights of the Shadow land;
The winter rains on the window, bark!
Are ripples tapping upon the strand
There where the mirror is CHANGING dim,
A lake is shimmering cool and still;
Blossoms are waving above its brim,
Those over there on the window sill.
Rock slow, more slow in the dusEy light,
Silently lower the anchor down;
Dear little passenger, say Goodnight"
We've reached the harbor of town
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
BuCklentS ArniCa SaIua.

The best salve in the world for Cuts, Bruises
Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever Sores letter
Chapped Hands, Chilblain, Corns, and all Skin
Eruptions, and positively cures Piles OF no pay
required 1t is guaranteed to give perfect salts
faction, or money refunded. Price % cents per
box. For sale by Hughes & Robinson, Drug
lists iano5 1v
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
u c. VINCENT,
CIVIL ENGINEER.

Having had experience of sixteen years in
some of the most important engineering in the
United States, offers his professional services to
the public in engineering of every description,
including Railroads, Foundations, Superstruc-
lures of ridges and Viaducts, Piers Water
Works, Sewerage Systems, Street Railways. Turn
pixies, Shop Buildings Inclines Bins, Roofs, Gable
Roads, Development of Mineral Lands and Open
ing of Mines, General or Detail Plans, Estimates,
Specifications and Superintendent of Construc-
ton. Reports made upon existing proposed
structures. Correspondence solicited, references
exchanged. LOCK BON No. 1,
nov 16-6m Staunton, Va.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
Schedule in Effect February 10, 1889,

No. runs daily between Old Point Comfort and
Clifton Forge, but leaves Clifton Forge daily ex-
cept Saturday, for the West, arriving at Cincin-
natl daily, except Sunday.
No. leaves Clifton Forge daily ZOO a. ml arrive
Huntinton $40 p. m.
Through tickets and baggage checked to any
destination. Apply to any G. & O. Ticket Agent
for full information and tickets.
j. T. ODELL, II. w. FULLER,
Gen1 Manager. Genl Pass'r Agent.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
he best way to spend few moments Of your leisure time is to visit
Whitmore & Liggett's.

E know the Ladies like look NEW STYLES
in
Enbrolderles, White
the
want
gotten entire Spring Stock
for Muslin Such
tobuyjs
hy@n
yo i tim show what ehavean tell
A
@@ WHITMORE & LIGGETT,
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08

SUPERB LIVERY IL desire to announce to
- my friends and the public generally, that
have now one of the most complete and thor
oughly equipped LIVERY STABLES in or out
of Virginia. Fast and stylish teams, single
double; First-rate sadde-hoTses; Carriages, which
for comfol and elegance cannot be surpassed
with careful and polite drivers, can be secured at
all times, day or night at reasonable prices
Baggage delivered called for at any point in the
city and carefully handled
am prepared to offer SPECIAL INDUCEMENTS
to travelling men. Horses boarded by the day,
week. month at reasonable rates, and the very
best attention guaranteed.
Will give my personal attention and assis-
lance to any one leaving horses at my stable, TO
sell them to the best advantage.
Give me call and you shall not go away dis
appointed ALEX. HARTMAN,
marlS StauntOn, Va.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08
Schedule in Effect February 10, 1889.

No. 2 is daily between Clifton Forge and Old
Point, but daily, except Sunday West of Clifton Forge.
No. daily, leaves Huntington S:45 a. M, arrive
Clifton Forge 1880 o.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08

c. & o. trains run into Central Union Depot Cincin-
natl; and Union Depot, Louisville, avoiding trans
fers, and making direct connection for
INDIANAPOLIS, CHICAGO, ST. LOUIS,
KANSAS CITY, MEMPHIS, NASHVILLE,
NEW ORLEANS, and all Cities
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-03-08

There seems little doubt but that the
Am erican national game of baseball, so
succ essfully introduced into Australia by
Spauldings team of basebal1ers, will be-
ONE q popular outdoor game.