Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1889-02-09
CHAPTER xxvII.

As havo said elsewhere, each state of the
Union makes its own laws The result IL
that . thing which II legal in one state Is not
necessarily legal In the others
Tho most curious, and thoss which differ
most. are tho laws upon marriage and d.
vorce.
it Is easy to got married In tho United
States, 1t Is still moro easy to get unmarried.
In the state Of New York, for instance, IL
you 60 to q hotel with woman, and put
down "Mr. So and So and wife" ON the regis.
ter, the law looks upon you as legally mar
ried to that woman, but tho marriage is not
recognized as valid In some other states To
obtain divorce In the state Of New York
you must prove infldelity on the part Of your
wife; but just across tho Hudson, In the
state of New Jersey, 1t Is to DO obtained on q
proof Of cruelty or incompatibility Of char
acter. If this IL not easy enough for you,
take the train to Chicago, where divorce Is
to be had for the asking, almost.
The court Of divorce in Chicago, called by
tho Americans ''the divorce MILL" decided
Gsi cases during the year 1887.
This institution Is Just as nourishing In the
state OF Indiana a. In Illinois The easterners
jokingly pretend that. as tho trains roll into
tho capital OF Indiana, tho porters cry out,
indianapolis, twenty minutes for divorced"
so that couples who may have fallen out on
tho journey can part company for good.
4 Docs tho husband snore or chew; has he
disagreeable breath, or a clumsy manner of
kissing his wifei Does that lady wear falso
hair or teeth, give her tongue too free play,
or habitually take up the newspaper as soon
as her husband shows signs Of dropping into
sentimentl AL these o6enses arc serious ones
before tho aforesaid tribunals
Without troubling to 60 and settle In Utah,
an American may set up harem Of legiti-
mate wives Each lawful spouse might be
concubine outside the state she was married
in, but by carefully studying tho laws Of the
different states Jonathan could, II he pleased,
indulge In polygamy without fear Of being
prosecuted for it.
have read in American papers divorce
cases that were really most comic.
When a will has to be administered mat
tcrs often become very mixed up, as you may
easily imagine. Who arc the legitimate
childreni
OF course all these confusions mako work
for the men Of law, who naturally think
American legislation the finest in the world.
The city Of Chicago alone possesses seven
teen hundred and dItyeight lawyers, all
thriving.
What capital subject for an opera boufYe
might be got from some Of those Chicago di-
vorce casesi What merry quid-pro-quosi
What amusing scenesl Choruses Of lawyers
choruses Of lawful wives. with the refrain,
1--WE are Mira Jonathan. ira lar
''DAPPEs va DAPPEN."
Iextracted from a Chicago paper the fol-
lowing evidence, full Of originality and
humor. The plaintiff Is at the bar, being
examined;
''What Is your husbands occupationr
asked the counsel.
"Habitual drunkenness, sir" said Mrs,
Dappen.
~ refer TO your husbands profession"
'He made cigars"
"Good cigarsf'
Occasionally
Here counsel drew cigar from his pocket.
"This, your honor. is one Of the defendants
cigars"
"Mark it Exhibit A. said the Judge
"Had Mr.. Dappen any other protessionF'
continued the lawyer.
"Not to my knowledge" said Mr.. Dappen's
wife.
'Never practiced as dentistf
'Sot professionally"
Snow, Mrs Dappen, on your oath, did not
your husband extract six Of your teethf'
Mrs. Dappen looked timidly around. Mr..
Dappen being evidently out Of hearing, she
whispered. "Hs did"
"Did he administer gas, or ether, or any
anasthetic"
mo, SIR"
"Did hs extract tho teeth one after the
otherF
"He extracted them all together"
"Had your husband any license 10 practice
as a dentistf'
81 never heard Of It. He used to say. I
viii allow you dollar dav. Bring ms the