The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-03-09
AMUSING ANSWERS.
A Collection CT Odd Things from
Children.
Which illustrates what Queer Notions
They Sometimes Form of Simple
Things About Which They
Should BE Better Informed.

An examiner in elementary schools
often hears many amusing answers in
reply to his questions. The following
are examples of written composition
from children IN the upper standards.
1t must nor be assumed, however, that
in giving these quaint specimens, any
slur is being cast upon the general
character of the work in elementary
schools; these are taken from many
thousands Of papers. great number of
which are Of undoubted excellence,
and it often happens that where the
majority of the pupils in class acquit
themselves satisfactorily, one child
will be found who is quite cat sea-"
Here is Il description of a plum-pud-
ding by Il hoy whose knowledge is evil
IDENTITY theoretical, and, like his pud-
ding, somewhat mixed: when they
have put ali these in, they make it into
batter and then mix it up; and when
they have finished battering it, they
put it on the fire for about an hour and
half, to get it to be enough, so that it
will be better to eat and softer to chew"
From cooking we come to natural
history, and have the following:
''Guinea-pigs are very pretty little
creatures, and people generally have
them as u joint for dinner" The guinea
pig and the suclking-pig were evidently
ono and the same in the mind of this
ingenious youth.
Here is another in the same depart
ment Of learning: Bees live chiefly
OF worms and snakes, and are search
ing for them nearly every hour of the
day. Besides this they also live on
little insects, which when they are not
so very busy, they go down into the
ground and have very nice feast. 1t
is very pleasant indeed in the summer
time to watch them making their hive
and weaving their honey"
A pupil was asked to name and de-
scribe four kinds OF fruit, with this re-
suit: ''The four kinds is apples, pears,
rubub and carrots and many others"
He was a town boy, whose garden OF
nature was evidently a greengrocer's
cart.
Here is some light on another branch
of knowledge: ''Whale ships are large,
and have an hold in which lubber is
stored" Seamen will agree that the
hold is the best place for the lubber.
The following on feathers" was
very difficult to interpret, but at Last it
proved that the writer had mistaken
features for feathers: s'The feathers
of any thing is the looking of you; some
people have diseases and cause them to
have an unpleasant look. Sometimes
when people go to apply for situation
they don't get it owing to their feathers
and bad faces; the master who they ask
generally says that he takes beer and
won't do for a job of that kind. People
who is not i'll so much generally has
good feathers, they are obtained from
keeping yourself clean"
DR.. Charles Wilson, in his general
Report on the Scottish Training Col
lcges, gives several curious answers
which have been received from candi-
dates and pupil-teachers. A young
lady answering a question on insurance,
wrote: THE money is provided by the
Company to defray the expenses of the
birth of members in pecuniary dis
tress." A second .demoiselle in COM
meating upon the proverb, Penny
wise and pound foolish" wrote in a
mathematical sort of way, and it is
feared with some degree OF misan-
thropy: 'lhis proverb clearly shows
that for every wise and good action a
man does. he will commit two hundred
and forty foolish bad ones"
One pupil brought Julius Caesar be-
fore the public in the light of won
dorful inventor: Julius Caesar in
vented Great Britain, 80 B. C."--by
writing that, Il suspicion exists that
copying Is still in vogue. What dis
astcr single mistaken letter occasions
to the young plagiarist! "Ethelred
the Unready was called that because he
was never ready for the Danes. He
used to entice them away from England
by Drideing THIN, but they used to
come again and demand a larger
bride"
Poor William Rufus end was sadder
than we visit, if we ara to believe a
youth, who says that William Rufus
wos gorged to death by a stag in the
forest his father had made to hunt the
deer" Another writes: prince Will
ian WINS drowned in u butt OF Malmsey
vino; he never laughed again. "A
small biographer of the Maid of Or
leans writes: Joan of Arc was the
daughter OF a French rustic pheasant
which lived in the forest She did
not like to leave her pheasant home,
but after awhile she went away" -
''In the rainy season." said little
pedant, tho barren desert becomes
animated with torrents Of luxuriant