The Bossier banner., 1889-11-07
PUNaENT PARAGRAPHS.

-"None but the brave deserve the
fair, and none but the brave can
live with some of them.
The Office that is seeking the man
can't find him, owing to the scrambling
crowd of ofice-seekers. = st. Paul
Pioneer Press.
II hear your son 10 fghterpn
mo; he's a pugilist." 80, I'm so
gladl Fighting is SO ungentlemanly." /"
-Harper's Bazaar.
1T is great deal easier to write
vivid love letter of sixteen pages than
it is to hear it read two years after
wards in court. t.-Sommerville journal.
They have flannel bathing-suits at
the seaside resorts that do not shrink.
They are ashamed to, probably.-
Binghamton Republican.
fare you fond of fiction?n asked
Alpha. 30, yes" responded Omega;
''the first thing l read when / get the
daily paper is the weather prediction
-Norristown Herald.
-Blobbins-"So you are still a bache-
lor, Maulstick?" Maulstick-aYes I
shall never marry. l am welded to
my art" Blobbins-"Quite so. Mar
riage is failure, that's fact. '--Grip.
Mr.. Hobbs-'1 see thata Newport,
Pa.) farmer has a hairless calf on ex-
hibition. What a remarkable freak
that is" Mrs. HOBBS sRemarkablep
Why, you're bald-headed yourself,
John. minneapolis Tribune.
Funny MANA penny for your
thoughts. " Fair maiden-"They are
not worth it." Funny man-"What
are you thinking of P" Fair maiden
Your last column Of jokes. Boston
Courier.
--Visitor-"So your sister is off on
visit, Willie? l suppose you feel
very lonesome without herp" Five
year-old Willie, (dubiously) -'Ye-es,
l feel lonesome, but-I'm good deal
more comfortable. Chicago journal.
Doctor - What your husband
needs, madam, is a change Of scene"
Mrs. De Temper-''Do you think he
should go off for his healthg" We'll,
it doesn't matter which goes-you or
he. "-Philadelpaia Record.
Miss Pyrte-''What makes you
such a confirmed woman-hater, Mr..
Olebach?" Mr.. Olebach-'W We'll, when
/ was a young man woman made a
fool Of me'' Miss Pyrte-'.And you
never got over it. P"-Terre Haute Ex-
press.
The average literary person is a
tedious nuisance. He invariably has
grievance, and he is constantly seeking
to air it. He is self-confessed failure,
and he insists upon advertising the
fact. Chicago News.
-Hardcheek-'I had a queer exper-
ience downstairs, Hardhead. A mo-
meut after alighted from the cab my
old cabman fell over dead" Hardhead
-''Ah! Paid your bill without wrang-
ling, l suppose. Philadelphia En-
quirer.
-''My DEAR" remarked Mrs. Caudle
severely, to her better halt eve have
lived together now for more than forty
years, and notice that your manners
grow worse instead OF better. What's
tbs reasonP" Mr.. Caudle, meekly--
Il can't say, unless it is because ex-
ample is contagious"
Mr.. Dumpsey-"Don't shirk your
Greek, Johnny. A Kansas clergyman
has discovered that it will be the Ian
gurge spoken in Heaven" Johnny
Dumpsey (sighing) )-"Then I'm afraid,
pa, you and haven't any use for it. .
Burlington Free Press.
-Addlepate-"Aw! You have in
suited me, sir. Aw! my fwiend will
call upon you Your card, sir, please.
Aw!' Bohemian-"G Give you my cardP
/ should say not You would stick il
into your looking glass to delude your
landlady into thinking you were ac-
quainted with a gentleman. ~ Epoch.