davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-06-22
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Mrs. Brown-"If you had only
listened to me" Mr.. Brown-"rd
have been talked to death long ago."
Judge.
The loafer is generally generous.
He has not much to give, as a rule,
but he will divide his loaf with any
other loafer.--N. 0. Picayune.
1.-THE older you grow the more you
know" says the proverb. This is an
other of those fallacious sayings that
time exposes. just think how lit tie
the old men of to-day know compared
with the young ones.
"A st. Louis man who was ap-
preaching Chicago by rail the other
day innocently asked the conductor if
trains stopped without being Tagged.
The look he got in reply paralyzed the
whole left side of him.-Detroit Free
Press.
-Judge-"You must not waste so
much time in reiteration. That's the
eleventh time you have explained that
point to the jury" Attorney-''Your
honor will please observe the jury con-
tains twelve men. Omaha World.
Young Softleie Ito Miss Brightly,
who lives over the way)-''Aw-is that
parwot you have ovah at youah
house-that bind that makes such a
clattah?" Miss Brightly-"O. yes.
and such clever parrot it is. You
two should be better acquainted; you
would so enjoy each others converse
ton. "-America.
ibid you attend Mr. Browns fu-
neral yesterday. Mrs. Bruce?" Eyes,
and it was the saddest one ever saw.
Mrs. Brown was frantic. She would
have leaped into the grave if they
hadn't caught her." She'll be mar
ried inside of six months. 1 never
knew it to fail with woman like
that. Chicago Herald.
1T is interesting to trace the evolu-
ton of words and expressions. Guilt
waited people say: Elbow do you do?"
Those who are less precise say: "How-
dydo?" In the backwoods of Tennessee
they say: "Howdy?" The noble red
man of the West says: ''How?" while
the cat on the fence says: Chi
cago Times
"A well-known physician and an
architect were busy the other morning
measuring a lot of land when an old
resident of the street happened to
come along. who is that doing the
measuring there?" asked the citizen.
THE architect" replied the doctor
as that SOP" replied the resident,
dryly; Il thought the undertaken did
all of your measuringm
"A lady customer, after taking an
unconscionably long time to inspect
''our spring novelties" returns once
more to the very first material that the
patient shopman has unrolled. '.If
this one is quite the fashion," she be-
gins, when the young man interrupts
her: MADAME, it was quite the very
latest fashio on when you first looked at
it. but, really, 1 couldn't answer for it
now. Paris Figaro.
Who is that man over there?"
asked a travelling man Of the police
man in a railway station. Ssh don't
bother him. He's detective" "Why,
he isn't doing any thing; only reading
the newspaper" Il know it" "Well,
then, why are you so careful not to
disturb him?" "Why, he's looking for
chant Traveller.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-06-22

"A Springfield woman, with an in
valid husband who was not expected to
live, thought she would take time BY
the forelock and engaged dressmaker
to make a full suit of mourning for her.
Later the dressmaker received a letter
stating that the looked-for event had
not yet taken place and the wife had
decided to wait until the death of her
husband, as she wished her suit made
in the latest style. This cheerful post
script was added to the letter: please
do not get discouraged about it. You
will be sure of the job sooner or later. !,
Springfield Homestead.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-06-22

"A story is told of an old church
clerk who, being unable to read or
write, forgot to announce that on the
following Sunday there would be nc
service, the vicar having promised to
officiate for a friend at a neighboring
church. Directly the congregation
we're outside, the blunt old clerk
thought of his. omission; and, rushing
out and mounting the nearest tomb
stone, he shouted at the top of his
voice: This is to give notice that there
won't be no church here next Sunday.
The wears goin' a-fshin' with q
friend"
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-06-22

Says the Detroit Free Press:
america can take in 1900, 1000, 900
more corners and find room for all to
build homes and make gardens. We
haven't settled a hundredth part of the
country yet" And still there is talk
of erecting wenty-eight-story build
ings.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-06-22

"A mechanician of Danzig has con-
structed hand fog-horn that may be
heard ten miles. With a second horn
Of lower pitch to mark the divisions
between letters, whole sentences can
be clearly transmitted by the Morse or
other code of signals.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-06-22

The office should seek the man
but it has to dodge him great deal
nowadays. Philadelphia Ledger,
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
Sunday School Convention.

At call of " J. Elliott, president of
Grandview township Sabbath school as
sociaiion, the schools met AT Mt. Pleasant
school house in delegate convention May
%. 1899; called TO order by Bro. Elliott.
C. Stanley, chosen secretary. proceeded:
to appoint committees and draft program
for our second seml-annual Sunday
school convention, to be held at Fort
Dodge Wednesday, June 5, 1899.
/. Committee TO secure the grounds
and to prepare the hall. A Bigger. W.
4. De Voc, L. NJ Mckinney and Harry
Tobias.
2 Committee to decorate the hall
Misses Allie Morrow, Kena Gilbert, Efiie
Stanley, Eva De Voc. Alice De Voc and
Angeline Woodford, with Harry Morrow,
Harry Tobias, Alex Mu'lendore and Mil
ton Beckley to assist.
3. Committee on muslc-Nrs. NJ. To-
bias; she to select her own assistance.
i. Committe TO invite strangers to as
sist and take part-W. J. Elliott, c.
Stanley, Morse Tobias, W. II. De Voc
and John Muliendore.
5. Marshal-Harry Tobias.
PROGRAM OF SUNDAY SCHOOL CONVENTION
AND BASKET MEETING.
Call to order at 10 o clock a. m. by w.
J. Elliott, president; opening with devo,
tional Notwithstanding the object of the
convention and address of welcome, Rev.
w. J. Elliott; response by Prof. Powell
son.
Opening addresses will be limited to
five minutes; others discussing to three
| minutes.
1890 a. III. How shall we secure a
better attendance at Sabbath SCHOOL,
Rev. Bondurani.
l. a. m How shall we secure the
greatest interest in teaching little chill
drcn-C. Stanley and Prof Powelson.
1:3O a. IN. How shall we secure the
attendance of parents and old persons al
Sunday school-Hev. j. W. Crouch.
II m. Adjourn for dinner.
2p. m. Call to order (after devotion
al exercises a ten minute children
meeting will be held, addressed by W. j.
Elliott.
The best method to secure Sunday
school finance-Prof. POwelson.
The best method of supplying the
school with efficient teachers-Rev. W.
Ii. Rose,
The most practical way of preparing
and teaching the lesson-Rev. J. NJ
Wright
The Importance of music in Sunday
school-H. l.. Harry.
Question drawer.
Election of officers.
Adjourn at p. IN.
By order of convention.
| c. STANLEY, Secretary.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
A Parrot Story.

4 parrot was recently bought by a
Wichita lady upon the affidavit of the
man who sold it that it had only Sun
day school education. The bird had in
reality been the property of saloon
keeper, and its cage being near the
cracker bowl. everybody made free to
give it crackers and teach it tough words.
Its new mistress had hardly got 1t hung
up when lady friend called. and, of
course. went into ecstasies over the par
rot. When she began to poke her finger
through the cage and call out Polly.
Polly. Polly" the bird opened one eye,
socked his head sidewise, looked at the
visitor and said with great gravity: Now
for Gods sake don't ask me TO have a
cracker; I've sworn off.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
when You Co South

Yos will wish to be fully informed as
ID the cheapest, most direct,
and most pleasant route. You
will wish to purchase your ticket via the
route that will subject you to no delays,
sLd By which through trains are run.
Before you start you should provide
yourself with map and time table of
the Memphis Route kansas City. Fort
Scott 4 Memphis r. R.,) the only direct
route fror, and via Kansas City to all
points in Eastern and Southern Kansas,
Southwest Missouri and Texas. Practi-
cally the only route from the West to all
Southern cities. Entire trains with Pull
man Palace Sleeping Cars and Free Re
clining Chair Cars. Kansas City to Mem
phis through frst-class coach, Kansas
City to Chattanooga. Knoxville, and
Bristol through sleeping Car. Kansas
City to New Orleans. This is the direct
route. and many miles the shortest line
- Little Rock. Hot Springs, Eureka
Springs. Fort Smith, Van Buren,. Fay
esteville, and all points in Arkansas
Send for large map. Send for copy
Of the Missouri and Kansas Farmer, al
eight page illustrated paper, containing
full and reliable information in relation
10 the great State of Missouri and Kan
sas. Issued monthly and mailed free.
Address,
). E. LOCKWOOD.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

By seeing as much as you can of the
world. But ere you set out either as
tourist, commercial traveller or emigrant
whether you go by rail, steamship or
steamboat. provide yourself with Hostel
ter's Stomach Bitters, which the travel
ing public recognizes as the finest medi-
cal safeguard and prevertat of sea-
sickness with which any one journeying
by land or water can be provided. Ii
furnishes to the western pioneer adequate
protection against malaria. rheumatism.
and those disorders Of the bowels which
miasma tainted water beget Its sedative
effect upon the stomach pertrubed by the
rocking of lp is truly magical. and il
is capital a, etizrr and nerve invigora
tor. Excelle is it for billiousness and
kidney inactir. and it counter acts. in a
remarkable gree, the effects of fatigue,
physical or mental After wetting and
exposure in iEeIeLient weather, il should
be used as preventative
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
DECORATION DAY.

The following poem was written FOR the Cincin-
nsti Gazette. by Mr. u. y. Williams. upon the
occasion Of Decoration Day being .r>t observed
in the United states f@y SFii- Isl:
Oh. strew ye sith flower. the to-nbs of iae brave,
Wao ...iT,.r.. i die, fer ts.r coGu-'s ssl YOU;
Brin- -e.r.sst- Of rn-.- far eaoh lonely cr4ve.
wiki !resrance If ois=sou4s ;o.r Hlr.''r. isnbTe-
Brin- fisaer.. sgyecr i7w.r- on.i'rhI- Of lov
To Ipu-ie 7ri;h tear- DER ;ae graves Of the true;
AMI rsyc-eIltty laozia, iof strength from above,
Your -.lc-,.a.,c5 o. freedom aI.G justice renew.
'ris nete that the nation this tribute bestow,
For tender remembrance is due TO the dead:
And holiest gratitude ever should flow
In memory of those u no for liberty bled.
Cone fathers. and brothers strew iiowcrs around,
Through the hope Of your age. the stay Of your
:outh,
Now mon ria. lies here beneath the cod ground;
Begradge not Offering on alter of Truth
Come sisters and wives bring flowers they planted,
Tie rose that they cherished, the lillies they
iovet.:
Yes, tenGer;y .trew them. and think how undaInt-
Between you and danger their coustancy proved.
Fit emblens they seem OF your long withered
joys:
But know that above mid perenna! bowers
Are builGed the homes Of your hero boys.
Oh miss not hil.ock that covers their dust:
An! think We of those lying low meath the sea;
And pray that the Wild waves may well guard
their trust:
Eri.ht cor,ls and shells their tribute shall be-
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

We heard of row that occurred on the
South Side last Tuesday. in which Nc
Kinney showed himself in his true colors
1t seems that Mckinney has some hogs
which he allows to run loose over the
country, and shepherd dog that IS
owned by a small boy over there. got af-
ter them. Mckinney captured the dog
and taking it by the hind legs, proceeded
to beat its brains out. The small boy
also got a hold of the dog and threw him
self on top OF him to keep Mckinney
from killing it. AT this, Mckinney COM
menced kicking both the boy and the
dog; a, the same time cursing and using
language that would shame the scum of
the vilest low bred class of criminals.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
Old But Good.

Itwas clinic At the university A
patient was brought in who imagined
she was victim of consumption.
"Will you please tell the gentlemen
what troubles you, madam said the
professor
oh. doctor. my right lung is all
gone This in a weak plaintiye whis
per that could scarcely be heard dozen
feet away, then Frightening up, and in a
over the room: But my left lungs all
right
Great applause from the Students
Philadelphia Press.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
Royal Echoes.


Fine weather for corn.
Oats are heading.
Grass is looking fine
Planting sweet potato plants is in or
der
Rained in this neighborhosd Thursday
and Friday night.
There was social dance at T. F. Phil
lips Tuesday night of last week; a good
time reported.
Miss Anna r. says that Prof Minor is
very fond Of 'possom pie,
Prof. J. W. Justice started Thursday
of last week on trip to Indiana and
West Virginia, where he goes to look up
location.
Recently at JetmOre: They say that
an OK team, in charge of Hay Seed"
ran away. They ran point blank into the
City hotel. breaking through the side of
the building and going half their length
into the gentlemen's reception room,
knocking over counter and demolish-
ing cigar case. They then backed out
and took fresh start; ran into tele-
graph pole and shattered the wires.
A social dance was given at the resi-
dence of Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Phipps
Saturday eyenind. Several young ladies
and gentlemen of Dodge City were pres
ent. Lap supper was served at l2 o clock.
Music was furnished by Prof. Lillis, of
Purdyville and C. Gopher Demoss, ESQ.,,
of Dodge City,
Mr.. G. E. Smiley and William Myers
have returned from Oklahoma
Several couples of ladies and gentle
men of Dodge City. on their way to at
tend social dance at the residence of
Mr.. c. Phipps, lost their way, wandered
about on the prairie for some time. Fin
ally they met Mr.. C. E. Smiley. who at
once pIloted them safely through to Mr..
Phipps'.
Nice little rain Monday.
A. d. Lierle is cultivating Mr. n. Lo-
gan's timber claim this week.
A. L. Call is cultivating Samuel Cling
rich's timber claim,
Mr. lilies has put contest on Mr.. Du-
rand's homestead. GAMBETTA.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

Will be paid for the conviction of the
person or persons, who maliciously broke
into my ice house on Duck Creek, and
stole ice. and broke into my ranch house
at the same place and stole bread and
meat on last Saturday during the
pic mic there. GEO. B. Cox.
Dodge City, Nay I, 1889.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
$500 Reward,

Will be paid for the conviction of the
persos or persons, who malicIously broke
into my ice house on Duck Creek, and
stole Ice. and broke into my ranch house
at the same place and stole bread and
meat. On last Saturday during the pic
mic there. GEO. B. Cox.
Dodge CITY, Nav /, 1889.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

There seems to be growing dispOsi-
ton among the farmers of this section to
do away with the heard law. Their ar
guments is, if farmers would fence their
crops and make the range free, it would
induce stockmen TO come into the cOun-
try, who in winter would be glad to buy
feed for their stock at good prices.-Sy-
racuse Journal
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

A prominent eastern money loaner has
placed large sum of money at the dis
posal of Kirkpatrick & Martin. who will
loan it on Ford county lands at the low
est rates to be had in western Kansas
Office over postotfice.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

The residence of W. j. Fitzgerald was
destroyed by fire on last Wednesday even
ing. The fire was first discovered about
12 O. clock and was no doubt the work Of
an inccndiary. Mr.. Fitzgerald was in
Mead county at the time of the fire and
Mrs. Fitzgerald is visiting relatives in
Iowa. The loss is estimated at about
$1,000. Everything was destroyed. The
fire department were on the ground
promptly, but the fire had got too much
headway to save any part of the building
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
Guessed He Mas.

is your father a speculator?" queried
the first boy as the two backed up
against the gate.
Il guess he is" was the answer.
Don't you KNOW
"Well, we have got out of paying rent
for the last six months, and CUES father
is sort of speculatOr. detroit Free
Press.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

The young ladies Of the Episcopal
church will give lawn sociable at R. d.
Clampetts, on Railroad avenue, one door
north of the Presbyterian church. Tues
day eve. June 4th. Ice cream and straw
berries will be served in the latest style.
All are invited.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
Sale Notice.

Having sold to A. II. Hudson & Co.,
my interest in the Real Estate. Loan and
Insurance business in this city, l take
pleasure in recommending them to all my
former friends and patrons and to the
business public, and feel assured that they
will conduct their business to the entire
satisfaction of all. Thanking my friends
for past favors, am
Respectfully,
w. 5. PAGAN.
Dodge City Kans., May 22. 80.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

Samuel Gallagher received . dispatch
yesterday morning from New York stat
ing that his brother, Mr.. Charles Gala
CHER. was lying very low from the effects
of hemorrage. Mr.. Gallagher leaves for
New York to-day.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
th0I my UtUIu u lHe PIdCt 10 HHU tHc
Best Styles!
Best Quality!
Best Assortment!

both in Ladies', Misses and Children's
trimmed. and untrimmed hats. Straw,
Lace and Metropolitan at all prices, to
salt all customers Trimmed from $4,000
10 s1 90 and all the way between these
prices.
fbuy from the largest wholesale houses
in large quantities. and it stands to reas-
on that can offer you better inducements
,han any beuse in the west half of Kan
sas. Please call and see.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

The young ladies Of the Episcopal
church will give lawn social at the res
idence of r. d. Clampett, on Railroad
Avenue, one door north of Presbyterian
church, Tuesday evening, June 4th. All
are invited. Ice cream and strawberries
will be served in the latest style.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

LosT-One bald-faced horse about IS
hands high; weight about LOCO pounds;
branded (half-circle s. on left
shoulder The finder will be liber-
ally rewarded by return of the animal to
r. ! HARDESrY
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

He (rejected suitOr)-You condescend-
ed to look upon my suit with favor once,
Miss Bond. She-Yes; l was young and
foolish then. have gained wisdom with
age. He (savagely)-How very wise
you must be by this ;ime.-I ankee
Blade
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

kirkpatrick & Martin not only furnish
abstracts of title to Ford count lands and
lots. but can furnish abstracts for any
property in the state of Kansas See
them before ordering abstracts Prompt
attention given to mail orders.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
Ex.mination Of Teachers.

The annual examination of teachers,
candidates for city certificates, will be
held at the Second ward school building
Friday, May 81 and Saturday June 1,
1889. E. d. WEBB,
Sup't.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
G. P. & T. A., Kansas City, Mo.

We deslre to inform the public that we
have made extensive arrangements for
selling and exchanging Ford county land.
We have lands and town property in al:
most every state. List your property
with us. KIRKRATRICK q MARTIN.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
FOR SALE

A good lot for sale on easy terms. One
block south of the river on Main street.
For particulars. write to J. b. Filing,
Concordia, Lafayette Co., Mo. 5O-3m
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
They Say tits Fine.
LISBON. Oklahoma, May 9. 1889.
En-, ron TINES

IOtt L
Dear Sir:-Having seen 50 many re
po-'s in Different K=nsss papers regard
ing this cunrfry We wniid ike - have
your ~, ,.iers Euow whit sSc think of II
after having bee,: here thirty days.
The soil is very rich ansi is covered
with fin" growth OF blue stein grass,
one acre OF which will feed more stock
during the spring and summer months
than any ten acres in western Kansas.
We have had several fine soaking rains
and the sod is in fine condition for break
in., and quite large crop will be put
in this year. The entire country is well
timbered and watered. Every few miles
there are fine running streams fed by
never failing springs of cold, clear water.
Everyone here seems to be infatuated
with ths country and are perfectly will
ling 10 sacrifice their western property
to secure a home here. The climate is
streams full of fine fish.
The prairies are covered with beauti-
full flowers. and the woods are alive with
sweet singing birds. In fac, it seems to
be the meeting place of the east and west.
with the advantages of both and the dis
advantages of neither
We are not trying to boom this coun-
try but do not like to See it so badly mis-
represented We want to let the peo-
pie know just what kind of a place we
live in. We all still have warm feel
ing for Ford county, and wish her sue
cess. Respectfully.
J. d. DENT.
Louis BADER,
II. s. CRANE,
WM BENNETT.
T. j. VANDERsLICE,
J. G. JERNIGAN,
GEORGE VICK.
W. r. SHELDEN,
b. J. CONLEY,
J. p ERWIN.
JOHN NICHOLS,
MINOR MoXLEy,
J. n. COBB,
A. MELTON.
d. G, McCLouD.
X. MCCLoUD.
C. G. BRIGGS,
r. w TARBox,
ID. KEsTOR.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

The railroad employees at this place
have organized a base ball club with W
E. Weaver as captain. They are anxious
to meet any or all amatuer clubs in south
western Kansas. Address w. Z. Weaver.
Dodge City, Kansas.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

A sleepy little soul at bed time found
it hard to keep awake when she knelt
down to say prayer. Half way through
she stopped and sighed: We'll, I've got
froo the worst of it, mamma. New
York Tribune.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

l.. L. Dysert returned to Dodge on last
Saturday and will visit for short time.
Mr.. Dysert now lives in Ohio, where he
has some fine farm property. He also
has large amount Of property here,
which he proposes to hold, believing as
all of good judgment do, that property
in Dodge City and Ford county will be-
come very valuable during the next two
wears
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30
Latest Stvle8

In millinery goods have just been received
at Mrs E. Justin's millinery store. La
dies are invited to call and examine this
splendid stock of new goods for the
spripp trade. If
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

Decoration day was observed through
out the city. All business houses were
closed and the city given in charge of
the G. A. r. who conducted the exercises
of the day
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

A game between the Dodge City base
ball club and the railroad boys was
played on last Sunday. The score stood
81 to 10 in favor of the Dodge Cities.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

S. NJ. Kohr, of Leayenworth, was in
the city the first Of the week. Mr.. Kahr
was here in early times and meets num-
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

The cheese factory being built by L..
o. Smith at Howell. is nearly completed.
Part of the machinery was hauled over
from this city on last Saturday.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

Services will be held as usual next Sab
bath in the Presbyterian church, morn
ing and evening. Sabbath School at
$50 All are most cordially invited.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

Claude McCarty. Lutte Welch and
Clifford Markley, who started not long
since, for Mama, Texas on their bicycles,
arrived at that place safe on last Friday.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

This isn't what expected" said the
new arrival in Guthrie. Il was told l
would ind riot and bloodshed on every
corner. 1t seems quiet enough" ''Qui-
ETY. howled the thisty-looking Texan
who had been in the place twenty -four
hours. When yoa can't even get wa
ter for less than ten cents a drink, how
In thunder can it be anything elses I'm
going on to Wichita. b'goshr'-Chicago
Tribune
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

Col. Jones writes us that he has open
ed up in the law business already at
Guthrie, Oklahoma. The Col. is a spen-
did lawyer and will no doubt always be
in the lead.
Dodge City times., 1889-05-30

The commissioners met on last Tues
day and, according to law, allowed the
Jurors fees, This is about the first time
they have followed the law.