The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-08-17

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 Red sea dat opened fur Moses an O de rock dat spirited water when de great hit 1t wid CT stick. Putty soon we stopped in front O CT house dat ddn' look like CT church, but knowin' dat things in de country an in town wuz altogether difTunt, I didn pull back none but went right in.
 "'Wait CT mint, says my brudder, till step in yere an tell de sharers in de faif dat you's cone l done so an when he come back ter whar wuz stanin he said de brudders would be monst'us glad ter see me Den he tuck me into CT big room whar dar wuz some big tables kivered wid green cloth. Desc my brudder tole me, wuz 'munon tables. Sebera men come up an shuck hans wid me.
 "'Whar do de confunce meet2 axed.
 "at meets in CT big church up town dis ebenn, says my fine lookin' brudder. Desc is de rooms O de zeckstive committee, an you has been app'inted CT member O dat committee, wy you mus stay yere till we fixes up our repo't.'
 "I wuz lattered ergin, an I set dar in CT big arm cheer, wushin' dat de members O my congregation way down in dc simple country could sec how much at home 1 'moDg de high headed folks O de town. Airter while CT man dat didn look like brudder come in, an he lowed dat he could beat de committee playin' seben up. Dis struck me bein' sorter cuis, an said at de time, but my fl ne- lookin' friend he lowed dat it wuz all right Oats rich pusson, says he, 'an' ef could win some O his money fur de Lawd, wy, de zeckative committee at de meetin' O de confunce would make CT mighty fine showin' an lay dat all O us would git big appointments. Dat man thinks he ken play seben up, bat he kaint.'
 Big erp'intments! Dat hit me, fur CT preacher it doan make no difiunce how humble he is, has a ongin' alter de time when his voice shall reach de ears O many folks.
 "'Ken you play seben up?' de fine -lookin brud- der axed
 "'Er little,' says l. Long time ergo, when de steamboats uster take on wood at de Calvin place. wuz CT monst'us han at kyards an ez l set dar in dat cheer, ookin' at dat rich man, felt dat could turn some O his money rum de channel O Satan inter de channel O de Lswd; so l greed ter put up CT few dollars. My brudders all got roun me an clapped dar hans an declared dat rwuz CT friend ter de confunce an dat de Lawd want gwine ter furgit so good CT sarvant. gunter win right rum de start, but-an' doan know hardly how come-I put mp my whole pile ergin CT awful big sum O money. Den dar wuz anxiety, 1 tell you I thought O preschin' ter rich congregations 1 thought O my old wife dressed in fine clothes, receivin' visits rum de great ladies O de lam Greshus alive l lost. De brudders turned sadly erway an lef me erlone. 1 sot dar-sot an sot, watin' fur de time to go to de confunce. It gunter grow dark.
 "'Whar is de fne-ookin' brudder?' l sxed O CT man dat come n
 "'He tuck yo' kyarpet-bag an went on up ter de confunce. Toe me ter tell you ter come on.'
 "I went up de street an hearn dat de confunce had dun met 'way out in de edge O town. l 'quired erbout my fne-lookin' brudder, an CT p'liceman laughed at me. I aint seed dat kyarpet- bag sence. Vas, sah," the old man added, "I thought O all dis when I got off'n de train dis mawnin. Er fne-lookin' man come up ter me, an, says Good mswnin',' an I hauled off wid my umbrella an knocked him cold"
 "You surely could not have hurt him very much