Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-07-20
DAUGHTERS CARTE DU JOUR


An illustration of simple faith-Eot-
ing sausages in cheap restaurant.
WHEN n man gives up newspaper
work he ought to go into the express
business.
MISS WEERY-Ah! it must he nice
to be clever. Mr.. Konscet Yes, YOU
have no idea.
BROTHER TALMADGE says that
Adams second son was the first Abel.
bodied man on record.
THE man who was lost in admir-.
alton of woman afterwards found
himself in love with her.
MRs. BRowN-"If you had only lis
tened to me" Mr.. Brown-"Pd
have been talked to death long ago"
PROSE poem by the collector: For
of any two words of tongue or pen the
warmest and coolest are come again"
SHE-How do You suppose the apes
crack the hard shells of the nuts they
pick? He-With a monkey wrench, OF
course.
MARRIAGE can't be much of failure
after all. Every married man keeps
his own carriage he happens to
have a baby.
IT is not the pigs in clover that
trouble President Harrison 50 much as
the desperate efforts of the hogs to
get in the trough.
AT the operetta-De Hope-These
girls march in excellent time. Lo
Bloke-Yes, they have clocks on their
stockings, don't you know?
my idea of moral hero" said
Whackby, "is a man who speaks what
he thinks" NO" said Cooler: cts a
man who speaks what You think"
SHE-Grandma is Sc years old, and
she danced a minuet here to night. He
Gust from the Why, she is
almost old enough to appear in the
ballet.
"WIvEs should never conceal any
thing from their husbands" saws a
writer. If this advice were followed
ont it would crea tie a revolution in femi-
nine pockets.
Mr.. PARvENNEw-Have you PRO.
In calf or Russia leather binding? Mr.
Parvcnnew- Can't you hear, YOU con-
founded IDIOT? I said 't1abound.
"WE have fine summer resort here.
SIR ut looks so" Music evenings,
parties, and round dances" Il don't
care for the round dances How about
the square meals ?"-Chic 1gO Ledger.
FIRST oklahoma boomer ito we'll
dressed settlcr)So you've made for
tune since You came here, have YOU?
How in thunder did you do it? Well
dressed settler Qaconically) the
Coroner.
OLDMANsoN--Havc you proposed to
Miss Southmayd, as You said YOU
should? Northcotc-Ycs, | proposed
yesterday-by note. Oldmaneon Tho
no G went to protest. Her father got
hold of it.
EDwINA-And You were really, truly
true to your little wiley while YOU
were in Paris, Algcrnon? Algcrnon
firmly AS true, sweetest as the camel
TO the eye of the needle. Edwina Oh,
You darling.
BRowN-lour teacher can't be such
n mean man as You make out. | notice
his son has all the toys he can POSSIBLY
need. Little Johnnie - Why, dad,
those are what his father takes away
from the ether Toys.
Il SAW You at the opera last evening,
Mr.. Smythe. Did You enjoy it 2"
YES, very much" (Which part did
you like best ?" "Oh, don't know OK
actly. 1t struck me as being the pref
| test when they all wore pink"
You will let me go to your we'd
ding will you not, DEAR" said one girl
to ano her. "Upon my word l can't
promise. My folks are in such rage
about my wedding that l am not sure
they will let me go to it myself"
THREE 4. MI say, offshur, ishn't
| that high stoop brown-stone hon e
mine? YES, Mr.. Saunders, that,
vour house" well, ] wish when it
Chic) comes this way gain you'd stop
| it."
Mrs. DE STANG (making college
call)-I trust, Rupert. that you're rot
ncglectirg the cocial training that goes
50 far to make a gentleman. Her SON
BY no means, mother. | devote two or
three hours day to Marquis of Queens
berry rules. Mrs. De otang-Im So
90 glad.
DEAR me, this is 50 anroyiur!" said
Mr.. lia~Gerty, impaticrtly. I've
locked all over tho house for my pipe,
| and cart find it anywhere" Did Won
| look in your mouth Z" asked Mrs. l!ag-
| Gerty, regarding him with Il smile. NO,
by George, And it's thee. TOO" said
HaGgcrty.
| DHoNTEIGH - Say, Crimsonhcak
wouldn't You like to have some Of the
wealth that's lying at The bottom of The
sea, from various wrecks? Crimson
bcak should say l woald, but, VOL
see, they're like old maids. Dhonkcigl,
Like cid maids, how? Grim onbca!,
they're unclaimed treasures.
THE SPRING POET Sw0RT.
| The poet wrote OF tho buds and flowers
| And then 70 wiring bis soul,
| Came hail and SNOW i'll heavy showers,
| And nla ts from he Are ic Polo.
| Then the rect threw aside his pen,
| And his hnir he wildly core:
| 81 never sill vri,c ;yu ode ain
| 10 the smiling Spring" ne sworc.
| Ard whom he tGi.ors l., ard lin swear,
| They ere Mi IL lighted 20,
| They threw IA, /; has up in the mir,
| And they laughed, "l!a hn! no! ho!'
THE new German Minister of War
| General Won Verdy du Ternois has