The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1889-10-17
Revanpsd Witticisms.

proud. Handling the paSte-pot 30
much they get stuck up.
The man who lives on the wind
must have his bill oiair just the same
as the guests of q restaurant.
Everything about a rattlesnake
keeps cool in time of danger except
it's taii. That gets ratified. s ~
Guard-"sir, if you want to smoke
in this carriage, you must either get
out or throw away your cigar"
Paste this in your hat: "a man
Tor boy) is known by the company
he keeps" also by the company he
keeps away from. ...
Proud Mother-O, John, the baby
can walk. Cruel Father-Good. He
can walk the floor with himself at
night then.
Nothing eve causes q young man
a greater surprise than to find out
that some one has fallen in love with
his sister.
There must have been awfully slow
cash boys in the days of Job, for he
says: "All the days of my appoint
ed time will wait till my change
comes"
A young man in Chicago killed
himself Monday because he couldn't
get another mans wife. 1t is terrible
to love somebody and see her wash
ing windows for another man.
Solitude is sweet, but it can be
made a great deal sweeter for a
young man if he can only share it
with the girl whose millinery bills he
is anxious to pay.
One day little Esther's aunt re-
ceived a letter. While reading it she
dropped the envelope on the floor.
Esther picked it up and handed it to
her saying: "Auntie here'sthe skin of
your tter."-Youth's Companion.
IT don't calculate that doctors can
always tell what ails you," an old
woman once explained, ''but I hold
to taking all the things I can get,
and 1t stands to reason that some of
ems going to hit the trouble"
The Sommerville Journal says, cit
is hard for a young man to spend
three months deciding which of two
girls he will choose for his vile, and
then when he proposes that neither
one of them will have him.
cts a pity" said De Kique to the
summer hotel man, ':that mosqui-
toes are not more musical" ''Why?
Because you might cage some of
these and hang them up around the
hotel instead of canary birds."-
Washington Capital.
Little Emma-I just asked Mr..
Sheepskin when the. battle of Lake
Erie was fought and he couldn't tell
me. Father-You ought not expect
him to Emma; he has just gradual
ed from an American college, and, of
course, knows nothing of American
history.-Yankee Blade.
"See her, Mr.. Grocer" said a Hart
ford housewife, IF you are going to
bring me any more goods I want
them to be the very best" "We
keep none but the best" ri pre-
sumo SO; you must sell the worst in.
order to keep the ~best."-Hartford
post. s.e' r3rr"..- t'a-@'' sar w.
Old Swineford( weight 800 pounds(
-"See here, my young man, why
don't you get up and give one of
those young ladies seat?" District
Telegraph Boy (outraged)-''lIoly
smoke! Why don't you git up and
give both of 'em seats?''-Munsey's
Weekly.
Tom (speaking of friend, lately
deceased)-Poor Brownson possessed
a great many good traits ofcharact-
er, didn't he? Joe-Yes, he did; and
besides that he was one of the luck.
lest men I ever knew. He got his
life insured against accident and was
killed the next day. How is that for
luck?-Yankee Blade.
Mr.. Gerome Parke (reading)-"The
author of the largest book on Amer
lea says American women have great
power of expressing what they mean
in very few words" Michael Ito
whom he is not a hero)-"Ssu they
can't hould o candle to the Oirish
women. Yer jist should see ,Biddy
when she grabs the rolling>pn,, be
jabbers. She do notsay one wul .rud,
but Oi know well phat she name /. -
Puck. Al so
Little Villa paused in her play to
watch the mother Of her little pl ay-
fellow put the newly baked bra aad
away. Turning her pretty he. I'd
from side to side, she said: 81 AN
going home, auntie." '.Why do vo u
want to go homer" was asked her.
20, don't want to go; I am just
going because ! am hungry" In
ducements were offered, and she pro
longed her visit. Toledo Blade.
Foreign Visitor (some years hene ey
81 wish to go to the Information al
Exhibition being held in q place cal !
ed Chicago. How can I get there? y y
Gothamite-'sTake any train going
West, ssYoc h,,t hos o-T4.I-S0