The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-02-23

went rejoicing, but 1 felt rather mean
at my one-horse gift to my good,
honest, reverend friend.
''Three years elapsed, and the
anxieties attending the war had com
pietely driven from my mind, for the
time being, the incident just related
when my messenger brought me a
card bearing the familiar name, Rev.
Mr.. ChOOtsper,' and Immediately
there flashed across my mind all the
circumstances attending my appoint.
ing him to Office. l directed him to
be shown in, and in he walked with
creaky boots, one of the finest and
best dressed men 1 had seen IN many
a day. l recognized his countenance
at a glance. but it was his marvellous
clothes that troubled me. They sat
easily enough upon his body. but
snmehow or other they did not sit so
easily upon ms mind. but wnerefofe,
| could not for the life of me tell, if l
had tried, which L didn't.
"'Good morning, Mr.. President
(no longer Uncle Abe,' as before, J
said he in grandiloquent manner !;
i hope you are well and getting on
nicely.'
"'Oh, yes said I, I'VE poor folks
eke out living after fashion, in
tending to give him the bit in his
mouth, for l knew what an honest
man he was, and how much-I
couldn't tell then, exactly how much
for l had lost the run of him-'we,
the people, were indebted to him.
"'Mr. President, l have come to
resign my office
"Feeling somewhat as though l
had been struck by lightning, man
aged to eXclaim, 'Indeedn
"'Yes, think that there are many
Others deserving Of the place. and
that it is my duty to make way for
them.'
"Was there ever such an honest
man as that 2" said I to myself,
chuckling over my stupidity on the
clothes surprise. "But," said aloud,
81 am afraid you are not considering
yourself, friend Chootsper, and that
when you go back to preaching you
will be as hard up as when you came
here three years ago. Hadn't you
better hold on little longer. say a
year more, and let us both go out of
Office together"
"'No, thank you, am going to
Europe during that time, but hope
to see you as President here when l
return,' and after few more kind
expressions off went the Rev. Mr..
Chootsper.
About month after one of the
reverend gentleman's neighbors paid
me visit, and among other things
remarked casually that l had done a
pretty good thing for Chootsper.
Yes l replied, L gave him $1,000
position for three years.
"'Besides the balance added my
visitor. why, if he is worth a cent
he is worth to-day 100000; and l
can prove it if necessary, and every
dollar made out of the government |!
"What could the idiot mean? TO
satisfy myself of the falsity of the
charge l determined to send detec-
tives to where he lived, and, would
you believe it, the prejudiced fellows
brought back word that he had made
his $4,000 salary in the aggregate
yield fully 100000 in crisp green
backs but then, knowing he was an
honest man, knew that there must
be mistake somewhere, but just
how and in what manner l could not
tell.
"By the way" added Mr.. Lincoln.
with one of his knowing winks, 1--WE
have plenty of Chootspers left, but it
is hard finding them out, and even if
we do not trace them up they are in
variably quite full now, like SO many
horse-leeches who have had their run
among fat cattle, and if we appoint
new ones who are empty the chances
are that they. too. will have to get
full, so I don't see where would be
the gain in the swap. But Choot-
sper, in spite of the off-color, preju.
diced stories about him, must have
been an honest man-nOw don't you
think he was ?"
You will never have friend if
Won must have one without failings.