The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-06-20
NUMBER Is.
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-"Who are the fools of the human
racer" This is an easy one. If the
query were, Who are the wiser it
would be poser Boston Courier.
-Soarandhop {grandiloquently)
Yes; it pays to do right Honesty is
the best policy after ALL" Frankley-
.Why don't you have it renewedP"-
Time.
The drama is getting more and
more realistic. Real babies, real water,
real burglars, are among the advertised
realities. We have hopes of future
play with real actors. = Baltimore
American.
What is the future of lrelandP"
exclaimed the Senator, in earnest tones.
'Ireland," said the new school ma'am
calmly. ''has no future; it is a noun."-
Burdette.
AS the warmer weather comes on,
metals begin to expand. A ten-dollar
gold piece reaches a great deal further
when the gas-man and the eoal-mau
have relaxed their grip.-Puck.
L
married me only for my money would
never have accepted YOU" Montague
-'tAnd if I'd known you were going to
be so close with it 1 would never have
proposed. Life.
Miss Backbite (who has been dis
cussing several of her friends mis-
deeds)-"Now, you know, never re-
peat scandals" Mrs. Candor y
mo, my dear, Eve heard you invent
them. philadelphia Press.
Picture Dealer exhibiting paint
ing)-"That, sir, is genuine Turner" +"
Purchaser-''Yes, 1 see. You have to
turn it around good many times be-
fore you can make out what it is. ~
America.
old Lady-"My dear, doyou really
think you are fit to become a minister's
wifeP" Engaged Niece from the
WesD-"Yes. indeed. don't mind
being talked about at ALL IN. Y.
Weekly.
-Father-"Well, how did you come
out on the bean-guessiug contest?''
Dull boy-'I guessed there was 150
beans in the jar, and there was 6, 200.
Father (sadly)-''rm afraid you'll
never be fit for any thing but weather
bureau chief. "-Philadelphia Record.
"A warning: Jay Gould will pass
through Cor go through) the city at
two o'clock this afternoon, en- route to
the Southwest. If the citizens will ex-
hibit little activity, perhaps they can
get the town nailed down before Mr..
Gould arrives. Haute Express.
Husband" -"Well, love, have you
some cold chicken for supper. as you
promisedP" Newly-made bride-''Ye Yes,
darling; bought beautiful live
chicken, and it has been yelling in the
refrigerator for more than two hours.
l think it must be cold by this time. -
Lowell Citizen.
! Yes said Dumley, proudly, 81
vas asoldier in the war Of the rebellion,
and if l do say it myself, made good
one" The thrill of admiration which
was about to start through the party
was suddenly stopped by Featherly,
who said musingly: Let me see,
Dumley, it was in '64. wasn't it. that
you were draftedP" P"-Epoch.
Jones (to Brown who had just
dropped in to borrow fiver)-"Well.
I'll do it this time, but / wonder you
are ashamed to be always in dabt.
Look at me. don't owe a penny"
Brown-"Dare say not, old man. You
haven't borrowing face. Nobody
would trust you. Pick Me Up.
81 remember riding home in q
horse-car with Henry w. Paine one
day." remarked story-teller, apropoe
of this eminent Maine jurist. "Paiae
was reading sheepskin-bound volume
of law reports. A mutual acquaintance
hailed him and said: See here, Paine
do you have to study law stillp' 'Thi.
isn't law said Paine, it's only col
lection of decisions of the Massachu,
sets Supreme Court. = Lewiston
Journal.