davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14
How the Cucumber Got Into the Bottle.

When Rodney was at his uncle's he
saw something very queer. 1t was a
cucumber IN bottle. 1t was setting
on the table on the porch when Rodney
first saw it. He sat down and looked
at it very hard. Then he thought for
at least ten minutes.
Rodney could not see how the GU
cumber got into the bottle It was a
very large bottle, but it had very
small mouth. The cucumber was very
large. IF the mouth of the bottle had
been much larger, the cucumber could
not have been put through it. There
was not a crack in the bottle; so it had
not been broken and put together after
the cucumbe was in. While Rodney
was trying to think how the cucumber
could have got into the bottle his uncle
came up the steps. He laughed when
he saw what Rodney was looking at.
"Can you make it out ?" he asked.
"NO," said Rodney; please tell me"
"I viii show you, I will take anoth-
er bottle, and we viii put a cucumber
in it. You can have it to take home
with you" said his uncle
Rodney thought that it would be
very nice. His uncle brought a bottle
Just like the one in which the cucum-
Der was. There was a basketfuI of
cucumbers on the porch. Rodnex ex-
pected his uncle would take one of
these and put it in the bottle. He did
not know how his uncle would manage
to get it in. That was why he was
anxious to see.
Instead of taking a cucumber out of
the basket his uncle led the way to the
garden. He looked over the vines, and
saw tiny cucumber near the end of
the vine. He pushed the little cucum-
Der into the bottle. Then he laid the
bottle down on the ground, but did not
cut the cucumber from the vine.
"Is that all ?" said Rodney. "Why,
it's not a bit like the other"
"Wait a few days, and then see how
it will be, said his uncle.
"Ohp cried Rodney. "I know. It
grows inside the bottle"
"That's just it, " replied his uncle.
Every day Rodney went out to see
how his cucumber was getting on in it's
glass house. Tt seemed to like it's new
quarters very much When Rodney
was ready to go home it was larger than
the first one.
How much fun he had with that Gu
cumber! He showed it to everybody.
Very few could tell how it got into the
bottle; then, when they could not
guess, Rodney would tell them.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

teIpieces, waInscoting, and chimney
pots. Nay, he even went so far as to
cut down four venerable chestnut trees,
which Ornamented the villa garden,
and to cart them bodily away. The.
villa was, therefore, completely dis
mantled, and Nine. CASTOR, on her res
turn from Nice, found to her stupefac4
tion that her once handsome suburban.
dwelling consisted of nothing but four
bare and bleak walls She literally
had not a roof to cover her head, and
had to put up with the accommodation
offered in an adjacent hostelry. The
skillful purIOiner Of detached suburban.
residences has been brought to bay
after having realized considerable
sum Of money by his criminal feat. His.
companions, as well as the semi-ruraI
policeman who had calmly surveyed
the demolition, had, it appears, been
befooIed by the artfuI Bossonay, who
showed them a bit Of stamped paper,
in which the owner of the villa had APP
parentIy given him full leave and IL
cense to play at ducks and brakes with
her property Paris letter.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

Stealing a house Is an act Of rather
cumbersome larceny, but this peculiar
feat In Crimina1ity has been practically
accomplished in Paris. Nine. CASTOR,
a wealthy widow, went to Nice In order
to enjoy for a while the baImy breezes
of the South, and she accordingly
closed her suburban villa at Abort
vile. In the meantime a local tiIer, or
slater, by name BOssonay, cast his eyes
on the villa, and, entering 1t one morn
ing with four companions, he calmly
appropriated not only It's internal fur
Eli6ure and fixtures but its doors, win
doUgs uncovered roofs marble man
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14
Wide-AWake Boys.

In this busy, hurrying age, when
composition in all lines of work is sharp
and continuous, the boy who desires to
excel must needs be Wide-awake and
prompt. Not that he must necessarily
possess what the world calls "cheek,"
nor the sharpness that approaches dis
honesty; indeed, quite to the contrary.
But ne must go about the world with
his eyes open, and be ready to take
advantage Of every suitable opPOrtu-
nifty.
Thirty years ago, Mr.. H., a nursery
man in New York State, left home for
a day or two. It was rainy weather
and not the season for sales, but a Gus
toner arrived from a distance, tied up
his horse, and found his way to the
kitchen of the farmhouse, where two
lads were cracking nuts.
"Atr. 81. at hOme?"
"NO, SIR" said the eldest, Joe, ham
mering at nut.
"When viii he be back?"
Dunno, sir. Mebbe not for a week.
The other boy, Jem, jumped up and
followed the man out. "The men are
not here, but I can show you the
stock" he said, with such bright,
courteous manner, that the stranger,
who was little irritated, stopped and
followed him through the nursery,
examined the trees, and left his order.
"YOu have sold the largest bill that I
have had for this season, Jem," his
father, greatly pleased, said to him OF
his return.
"I'm sure, said Joe, suIIenIy, "I'm as
willing to help as Jem, If I'd thought
in time"
A few years afterward, these two
boys were left by their fathers failure
and death with but two or three hun
bred dollars each. Joe with them
bought an acre or two near home. The
land was poor, the crops scanty, the
market low. He has worked hard and
faithfully, but he is still q poor, dis
contented man. Jem bought an emf
grants ticket to Colorado, hired as
cstt1e-driveE for q couple Of years, with
his wages bought land at forty cents an
acre, built himself a house, and mar
ried. His herds of cattle are numbered
by the thousand, his land has been
cut up for town lots, and he is ranked
as one of the wealthiest men In the
State.
This quick, wide-awake energy which
acts as leaven IN q character Is partly
natural But it can be mcuIcated by
parents and acquired by a boy, if he
chooses to keep his eyes open and to
act promptly and boldly in every emer-
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

just then shril call interrupted the
talk.
ali, Ed we've got a gay old ball
Want as to play? ?"
Six hungry looking, pinched lads
stood without the gate
"The Six Mix /" exclaimed Edmund,
seOrnfully. He assumed l0rdIY air.
~Clear out I" he commanded.
There's seeds, said Uncle Comet.
repeating his former words IN a per
turbed manner He waved his branch
of vine toward the Six Nix. They &C
cepted his gesture as an invitation to
come In. One thin lad after another
sneaked In at the gate.
my! It's shiny, amt 1t ?" said one
to another. And they looked much as
as if they would like to eat the ball.
Ed, let them stay" said Johnny,
suddenly.
Uncle Comet earnestly waved his
branch.
Johnny and friend, he said, "pIant
out your seeds They'll maybe grow,
and maybe won't.
But the seeds did grow that after
noon in Uncle Comets garden. What
kind of seeds? you ask. Why, foot
ball seeds, to be sure. And what were
they? Skill, and laughter, and rous-
ing good time; kind feelings and a
hearty goodnight" those are football
seeds.
Johnny and Edmund planted theirs
in the hearts of the Six Mix, and they
grew and grew.
"UncIe Comet, cried Edmund, turn
ing his glowing face up to the old man
on the grape-arbOr, "Sam Mix is
bully kicker? He can kick clean over
your housed"
'I'm afeerd he'll kick himself in two,
said Uncle Comet. "He don't look
hearty lad. D."
Hes all muscle, said Edmund, adj
nniringIy.
Goodnight, fellersl" sang out the
little boys, as they parted at the gate.
Uncle Comet was tying the last
branch IN its right place.
Some folks keep seeds a-dryiin' in
the cupboard" he unused to himself,
"but 1 like to plant 'em. They'll may
be grow, and maybe wont. Sunday
School Times.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14
constant Reader'' in the sanctum.

SECOnstant Reader'' in the Sanctum.
Good morning, Mr.. Editor. I SEE
you are very busy, but I suppose a cat
can look upon king without disturb
ing him. 3"
certainly"
Don't let me take any of your vaIu-
able time, but I sent you a communica-
ton the other day which you haven't
printed"
"Sign your name?"
"No, I didn't care to put my name to
it, but the matter was one Of such pub
lie interest that T."
Wrote on both sides of the paper ?"
"Why, yes, I didn't intend to, but
the subject strung out so 1 had to, and
also round the margins"
Wrote Johnson so it looked like
Smith p "
very likely. I was in great haste.
''Signed Constant Reader I sup
pose?"
eyes, sir, I have taken your valuable
paper for a great many years.
"Read all our editorials on the sub
ject you wrote about %
"NO: Have you been discussing that
subject ?"
Certainly, for some months past, off
and on"
singular I haven't noticed it. Well,
If you can't print my communication I'd
like it again, as I may make some other
use of it.
"See waste basket"
"I don't see any waste basket, but
notice the floor is Uttered with manu-
scripts"
Same thing-no room for waste
basket big enough to accommodate all
the fool stuff that comes here.
ooh, then I can't"
"Ask janitor."
"Where shall I find him ?"
"Ten flights farther up.
Elevator ?"
"No, climb stairs"
"What kind of looking man ?"
Strengthening, with big club"
"Oh-good day"
DAY. Springfield Union.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

A REGISTERING savings-bank is the
latest novelty. 1t is shaped like a
Saratoga trunk. Three styles are
made, one for cents, another for half
dimes, and a third for dimes. Each,
after the first coin is deposited, Is
locked until the hundredth coin is
pushed through the slot, and as each
coin enters it registers upon a dial. A
man who buys a dime bank must put
100 dimes into it if he wants to open
it, and a nickel bank can be opened
only when it contains s.. The banks
are strongly made of nickel-plated
cast iron, and. the locking device is I'M
pickable, because after it is locked the
keyhole is taken indoors. Nothing but
the right amount of coins VIII open it,
and when the hundredth coin enters
the door opens automatically.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

THE Pail Mall Gazette says a re-
markabIe discovery has just been made
at the Cathays Yard of the Taft Vale
Railway Company. A large elm tree,
grown in GIoucestershire, was being
cut up into timber, when right in the
very heart a cavity measuring 8 feet
by u inches in diameter was discovered
almost completely filed with the comb
of the honey bee, together with
squirrels skull. No means of access
to the hollow was discoverable, neither
was decay anywhere apparent, and
around the cavity itself no less than
fifty rings, eachring denoting a years
growth, were counted, the outer bark,
too, being without a flaw.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

SOME four years ago, at that season
Of the year in which migratory fowls
make their trip north, a wild goose
flew down in J. N. Young's field at
VaIdosta, Ga. As night approached it
came to the flock of domestic geese
about the premises, and by the aid of
hand torches was captured and its
wings cropped. It has remained with
the flock since, eating the same food
they eat. At the season of the year
when geese migrate it appears restless
and uneasy, and viii rise and fly
mile or two away, but always returns
to the flock again.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14
The Football Seeds.

Johnny and Edmund liked to share
their things, for they loved each other.
One day they went together to buy a
football. Edmund was to pay for the
football, for he was rich; but Johnny
must select it, for he knew about foot
ball. He had seen the students play.
Johnny" said Edmund, "after we've
bought it let's play In Uncle Comets
garden"
"All right, said Johnny.
Uncle Comet was JOhnny's uncle,
not Edmund's. But did I not tell you
that they liked to share their things {?
Uncle Comet lived in a little house
near the edge of the town. When the
boys pulled open the noisy old gate of
his garden that afternoon Uncle Comet
himself looked down at them from the
grape arbor.
johnny and friend, said Uncle
Comet, "a welcome for you. Come to
trim the vines ?"
No matter what Uncle Comet might
be doing when Johnny and Edmund
came into his garden, he always asked
them if they had come to do 1t also
Sometimes it was planting seeds,
sometimes it was hOeing corn or pick
ing currants, or even sharpening the
axe. In all these things did Uncle
Comet believe the little boys to have
skill.
Eyes, yes, said Edmund, in reply to
this question. "That first, and then
football. See!" and he held up their
purchase.
Uncle Comet fixed his spectacles
more firmly upon his nose.
"Ghe right shape, but not the right
color" he said.
"Why?" cried the boys.
"ALy pumpkins are gold color, said
Uncle Comet. And Johnny and Ed
mund could not tell whether he was
joking, or whether he did indeed mis-
take their ball for a vegetable.
Shall we come up?" said Johnny,
after he had done laughing at Uncle
Comet
Edmund was already halfway up
the arbor.
Johnny can cut the Irvine, and his
friend can tie the knots, and I viii lay
the vines, said Uncle Comet.
So they set to work with a VIII.
uncle Comet, shall we plant our
football ?" said Edmund, sIylY.
"P1ant the seeds, said Uncle Comet.
"Ho, hol" laughed Johnny.
Wouldn't it be fun? Football seeds
and football vines, and then football
for dinner"
johnny and friend, said Uncle Com
ct, looking confiehngly at the little boys,
I've seen a GURUS fact. There's seeds
to all things"
Uncle Comet waved a branch of his
vine IN emphasis Of his words.
in footballs 2" cried the little boys.
esIhere's seeds" said Uncle Comet
nodding his gray old head.
Incur football, Uncle Comet % urged
puzzled Johnny
Uncle Comet looked down through
the ground.
There's seeds, he said mildly.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14
THE LITTLE FOLKS
A Homs-8Eado Scare.

Carl was a Jolly little fellow,
With eyes OF blue and Curis Of yellow,
And rosy cheeks, aud just the chin
To hold pretty dimple ia
He found himself alone one day
And wondered what twas best to play
While ms mamma remained away.
Pencil and paper soon he saw,
And seized them both Said he. sIII draw
An ogre Ike the one so gEuna
Poor Jack heard growing EFee-fO-fuu1.'
First here's his forehead ful OF bumps,
And then his nose with three big humps
And then two ears OF nOEn0us size.
And then two dreadful staring eyes,
And then mouth from ear to ear,
With long, sharp, teeth-Iize tusks.7 But here
The artist, with eyes opened wide
In fright, gaZed on his EFOEE and cried.
Mamma, Luaunn1a-cOInes come, please, DO,
I'm very lonely without you;
And OIL Mamma, I'm afraid
OF this old ogre that I've made"
-MaTgdTet EytiRgs, tl1 St. Nicholas.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

GRAIN, fruit, and agricultural pro
auctions in California promise a greater
yield this season than has ever been
known, independent of the fact that the
acreage has increased one-thirdin some
sections. Farmers say they never saw
grain IN better condition.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14
The Man Who Guards the President.

The Man Who Guards the President.
One Of the most interesting charac-
bers connected with the White House
is Waterman who keeps guard over
President HarTison's househould from
midnight until morning. His name ~
Thomas PendeI, and he has been IN
the service Of the Chief Executive even
since Lincoln held the position. He
was a personal witness of the tragic
termination Of the war Presidents life,
and he has IN his possession at present
the brOadcloth frOck coat that Lincoln
wore when he attended Ford's TheabeE
on the night when he was assassinated
by Booth.
He saw President johnson come In
and out Of the White House during the
latter's impeachment trial by the Sen
ate. He served under Grant and
Hayes, and during their adntnistra-
tons Witnessed many changes in the
White House. He kept solitary vigil
in the main corridor Of the White
House during the time that Garfield
fingered between life and death, before
he was removed to the seaside. He
was with Arthur, too, and, although a
stanch Republican, continued In his
position under CieYeIand's Democratic
administration.
Mrs. Cleveland he learned to ike SO
well that very good picture OF her
now ornaments his mantel at home.
When he first went into service his
hours Of watching were during the day,
but recently his time has been changed
to night. he is the only one remain
ing of the four who were with him
under Lincoln Washington Post.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

SIR CHARLES RUSSELL, who recently
defended ParnelI, is not believer in
the Bismarckian method of firing up
with brandy while undergoing a great
mental strain. During his recent
speech, which lasted through five
court days, no drink save cocoa passed
his Inns.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

In an unguarded moment Postmaster
General Wanamaker expressed per-
plexity as to what he should do with
his salary when he drew his first
months pay. Since then his mail has
been loaded with advice as to its dispo-
sition and offers to relieve him of the
burden of it.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

KATE FIELD explained to a Boston
audience the other evening how she
would stop drinking. abolish the
idiotic custom of treating" she said
when people treat they take moro
than they want. How men made in
the image of their Creator can stand
that custom I cannot perceive. Make
treating and perpendicular drinking
an offense."
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

A MAN in Rothseh1d, NeB., dressed
himself in a shroud and laid himself
carefully into a cohinwhich he had p1r-
chased. In this position he went to
sleep. When his friends discovered
him, some hours later, he was dead.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

BEN BUTLER chews tobacco and
swallows the juice. Nicotine is not
too strong for him. Bob Ingersoll
chews and expectOrates over everybody
in reach when trying lawsuit The
fastidious ConkIng made the floor
look like a pigpen when making an ar
gument in court.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

A DEAD goose cost Postmaster Ger
veg, of Dakota City, Neb., his life.
He had shot the bird and was trying
to get it, when his boat upset and he
was drowned.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

Several frst-class death notices
were crowded out this week to make
room for the circus adj, says a Missouri
paper of late date, shut they can be
confidently looked for after the rush
has passed"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

THE doctor who advertises a reward
of 800 for a case of catarrh he cannot
cure never expects to find one. He
would advise a serious case to go to
some local doctor.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14
CIothing a Ship 81 SteeI.

Two or three months or less after the
completion of the "fairing," the ship is
probably Gin frame" and looks like the
skeleton of some BrObdignagi an monster
that has stranded on the bank of the
river. The ribs have been hOisted into
position at right angles with the keel,
and strung together by "rIb-bands,'
and already there are signs of the
coming subdivision by decks and bulk.
heads of the hollow space within. You
can still see through her, however; she
is like, to make yet another comparison,
a great OblOng wicker-basket, the sup
pie willows being represented by the
network of steel.
The next step is the clothing of the
ribs with plates. As they reach the
yard the plates are square and fat, but
they are passed through rollers of var
ious kinds, from which they issue in any
shape desired followed ike a spoon,
curved lengthwise or breadthWise OF
diagonalIy, as the contour Of the ship
NAV call for. A steam or hydraulic
plane smOOthes them down as though
they were the softest of wildwood ;
another machine trims the edges as
easily as a woman cuts silk with pair
of scissors. Then, suspended by iron
chains, they are thrust between the
Jaws Of a punching machine, which has
q resemblance to a sinister human face
with q fat nose, a long upper lip, and
a small chin. The Jaws close upon
them and bite out, ten at a time. the
holes for the rivets by which they are
to be fastened to the frame. William
Il. Ridei93g, IN ScTjb73eF's.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

A RUSTY spot on an apple may con-
tain the germs of yellow fever, small
pox, or diphtheria, and may not. After
the boy next door has tried it and es-
caped, You need have no fear.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

CHRISTIAN HoLzwoRTH of LowvilIe,
N. Y, who Is hopeIessly insane. has
received back pay pension of $4,000
and VIII hereafter be paid s75 a month.
His wife has supported herself and
children by taking In washing.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

John BRIGHT was the only Cabinet
Minister who never knelt to the Queen,
his reason being that he could not rem
der to an earthly potentate the homage
which he owed to the Supreme Being
alone
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

the expressions Of the human face.
There is fascination for him In the
pursuit of this theoretical science.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

SECRETARY WNDoAI's daily lunch is
a frugal meal, consisting only of a
bowl of bread and milk, but as a conse-
quence he has a good digestion and a
correspondingly .equable temper.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

The French Ambassador at Rome
has Just discovered there is a famous
portrait of VoItaire that has been miss
ing formore than half a century. 1t
represents him in his youth.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

JULES CHAMPAGNE, a Montreal mag
istrate, recently awarded $40 damages
against Medard Paquette for attempt
ing to kiss a girl against her viii be-
fore he had popped the question.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

JUSTICE GRAY and Miss Jennie Mat
thews, daughter Of the late Justice
Matthews of the Supreme Court, VIII
be married in May.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

HoTOGRAPHER- Now, sir, the expos
IRE is about to be made Put on &
pleasant expression. Think Of some
thing agreeable-youT wife, for in-
stance. The same e moment LATER
Good heavens, Giri You have cracked
the camera.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

A MOVEMENT is on foot in Nicaragua
to sever the relations between church
and state.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14
a HANDsoME House.

given $780,
the
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

MISS DAISY, of Kentucky, who is
among the Oklahoma boomers, is fully
prepared to defend her claim. She is
well provided with pistiIs, and this is
about the time of year for the daisy to
shoot
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

A PHILADELPHIA connOisseur in eat
ing says that muskrat meat tastes bet
ter than any sirloin.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

Two HUNDRED bushels of onions have
been presented to charitable institu-
ton of Cleveland, Ohio, to be distrib-
uted to the poor.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-06-14

Mrs. GEORGE B. MCCLELLAN, wife
of the General, is understood to have
decided upon an indefinite residence in
Europe, where she has been a year.