The Penn's Grove record., 1889-05-25
rucnxsrANcEs ALTER G.

CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES
sns-aJames, / an willing to become
vonr wife, but I wish it to be distinctly
understood that IL l am to marry vol
mother is to make her home with us. ;,
pe-.Live with us always?n
isTTndoubtedly, James. | cannot de.
sert her. She was all the friend | had
until / met you. She must come to
live with u.s."
swell, er-"
ssBut she will not be a burden upon
us. James. She has about $1,000 a wear
from the dividends on her shares in the
Old Colony"
aAnd you want her to live with us
when we are married Y"
81 do, James"
"Certainly, my darling. 81, 600 a wear
from dlyidendsl Gracious! Sadie, She
shall live with us. She shall be respect
ed and admired by her son-in-law.
Sadie. l always admired your mother.
She is one Of the noblest, one of the
most kindly and affectionate women
ever saw"
tsThen that is settled, James?"
"Settled, Sadie, you bet! She shall
come and live with us the moment we
are married."
ooh. James, you r so kind.n
ssDon't mention it, Sadie. Don't
mention it. l hope I have a soul in me.
Your mother shall come to our house
and she shall have a home there as long
as fine lives"
And then, to show her loving graft
tude for his c~ondescension, she twined
her arms about his neck, while great
tears of joy traced their course through
the rouge on her cheeks.
WANTED TO BE SURE.-A lady from
the country stepped into a jewelry store
recently, and asked to see Some spec
tacles. After selecting a pair she turned
to the jeweller with the question:
"You are sure these glasses will wear
well, aren't youp"
"Yes'm," replied he. "They are the
best pebbles"
swell, l want to be sure of it," pull
ing out an old fashioned bag-purse,
sscause | read q heap of fine print, and
| vas afraid it might be too much of a
strain on 'em."
PRooF.-It is a very sharp emergen-
cy that can catch Pat, even when he is
ignorant and ragged. An Irishman
whose garments were in tatters was
brought before a magistrate on the
charge that lie was a vagrant.
"What have you to say to the charge
that you have no visible means of sup
port?" asked the Justice.
Pat drew from the pocket of his torn
coat a loaf of bread, the half of a dried
Goldfish and several cold potatoes. These
he spread upon the stand before him
and cody asked:
"What do you think of them, yer
Honor-shore, an isn't thin visible
names of support?"
YOUNG WIFE - "Why, dear, you
were the stroke a at college, weren't
your"
Young Husband-"Yes, love-"
"And a very prominent member of
the gymnastic classp"
81 was the leader"
"And quite a hand at all athletic ex-
ercises?h
"Quite a hand ? My gracious! /
was the champion walker, the best run.
ner, the head man at lifting l.eavy
weights, and as for carrying - why, |
could shoulder a barrel of -four and-''
"Well, love, just please carry the baby
a couple Of hours. l am tired"
EARLY TRAININa.-Old Mr.. Hay
seed, to his sol Johnny, aged eighteen,
who has just returned from a visit to
his uncle's people in New York;
hope, Johnny, you did not neglect at
tending the Sanctuary regularly while
you were in New York;"
Johnny-"You bet I didn't. l went
to a sacred concert every Sunday even
ing"
"I'm glad to hear, Johnny, that you
didn't forget the religious training I've
given you at home"
JonNsoN-sI saw Mat this morn
ing"
Jaskson-"Ah, hal"
"Yes, and I had a great mind te
speak to him. He owes me $50"
81 hear hs has been sick. How wa
he lookingT"
swell, he was looking the other way
when l met him."
Miss DEvoE, at the cooking school
"Do you mean to say, Chef, that W.
must put Jul bare hands into thu
dough-"
Professor Tartopommes-''Sairtain
M'm'selle."
"Perhaps that is why l failed will
my bread the last time. My glove
seemed rather in the way"
TaNO