The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1889-09-14

Which Msrgantowners and Nononga.
lians Have Expressed to MS on
Subjects Timely and Various.
Il want one Of two signs put up
in this town" said citizen, the 9TH
er day.
Il either want sign put up on
that lot in the central part of town
that is covered with forest of weeds
and filth proclaiming THIS is ALL
RIGHT AND THERE is NO LAW AGAINST
Ir--or l want sign hung over the
door of the town council chamber,
saying, WE HAVE GONE OUT OF BusI-
NESS"
"Good morning, Colonel. I'm glad
to see you in town, sir. How are
the roads now out your way?n was
asked of Col. Snider the other day.
swell, the roads are all right now
because the weather is so dry, but
in a few weeks l expect to quit com
ing to town. The roads will be i'm
passible."
us any more money needed?"
"The appropriations to put them
in better condition are ample to ac-
complish that end, l think, but the
money is not issued right. 1t is not
used judiciously at all Men in this
county are appointed road supervis-
ors who do not understand the bust
ness at all and therefore the money
under their control is a dead waste.
We do not need any more road mon
ey, but simply a change in our road
laws. i have taken as much pains
to find out the sense of the people
on that point as your excellent news
paper has, and three to one are in IA
vor of the alternate road law"
why are not the people as vigor-
Gus in their protests against had
roads as the New DOMINION, Colo
nel?"
"They are; you don't hear them.
Every time you print an article
praying for better roads the people
say those are our sentiments. | tell
you sir our road law must be chang
ed"
-
(which would you rather have,
the gas or the water?'
"Well, I'd rather have both"
but suppose you had to give up
one and you could make choice
between them?"
well, I'd say gas first, and then
change my mind and say water, and
finally conclude that couldn't make
up my mind, and therefore couldn't
part with either"
**s
"Are there any handsome Goods
at the University" asked bald.
headed old bachelor, of smooth
faced, fair complexion, young scion
with an armful of books.
"S-i-r?"
"Any handsome co-eds, / asked"
do you mean that dark complex
Toned fellow" asked the young limo
cent.
"Good morning" exclaimed old
bach.
whats the matter with the new
pavements," did you say?
"Well, l give it up-ask Inc an
easy one"
probably they think winter is
the best time to lay a new pavement"
the enquirer.
"Or probably they are waiting for
brick suggested"
That's all poppycock. There are
at least three brick kilns within
two miles of town, all anxious to sell. !
The fact is that the only progressive
thing on our streets this season is
the luxuriant weed"
~
Meeting one of the directors of the
bank of the Monongahela Valley |
made the inquiry show is business
at the bank?"
Good" he replied. ave are do
ing the biggest business we have
done for many years. Our deposits,
and discounts, too, are much larger,
which is enough to show that a good
volume of business passes through
our hands"
Have you any money on hand?"
Eyes, we can discount all good pa
per presented"
How does the oil business affect
you?'
1--WE get great deal of that bust
ness, which, in the nature of things
is considerable as the operations in
this county necessitates that their
banking business, great deal of it,
be done here, and a great many of
the operators are our depositors.
We find them all good business men
and pleasant in business relations"
*x*
"What has become of the town
scales?' asked half dozen people
in one breath.
Not being good at a riddle we
KEPT our mouth shut.
A bystander suggested that they
might be stuck away in that hole in
the sky.
Some wicked fellow rejoined that
The Town Council had taken them
INTO their private chamber to weigh |
The arguments for and against the
sewerage question.
"Yes," said an old farmer, 1--WE are
the only fellows who give honest
weight nowadays and public scales
are only useful to you town fellows
in spl ting hairs"
OBITUARY.
John Lorentz, Esq, was born near
Beverly, Randolph county, (then) |
April 16, 1906, and died at |
his home on Cedar Creek, Braxton