The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-05-29
PITH AND POINT.

a mgn uFer-lne man LII Cne mOou.
A foul tip-Feeing the waiter with .
lead quarter.
Every dog has his day, but the cats
have the nights. -
Lady Visitor mamma at home,
dear9" Little Alice-"No, ms'ara; but
can show you her new dress. ."--Itras
SytSngs.
Bessie-''They say she is as pretty as .
picture" Jennie-"Perhaps so. But
she's not as pretty as her last picture. -
Harper's Bazar.
Old Peppers tartly-"Do you run
this elevator, young man2"-Young
Man (calmly)-"Naw! It's runs by
steam" ."-LoueN Citizen.
He-ssMiss Genevieve, there comes q
big wave-give me your hand" She
"Oh, Mr.. Jones, please speak to mann
ma!"-Sdn Francisco Wasp. ,.
she-"How do you suppose the apes
crack the hard shells of the nuts they
pick2" He-''With q monkey wrench,
of course. -Burlingtop Free Press.
Some hold it true what'er befan,
And deem it good whateer betide-
IT'S better to have fshed and lied
Than never to have fshed at all
oil City Blizzard
What q pity it is that the old farm Is
going to wreck and ruin for lack OF culti-
vation, when there are so many people
digging for fishing worms.-Asrcha"s
Iraceler.
Waiter-''Ahem, sir" you have for
gotten to-ah - Broker-"Oh, yes,
your tip. I had forgotten. Buy A. H.
and @. preferred at % and sell at 40."-
Harper's Bazar.
Waiter Gin all-night restaurant at 2:30
A. M:)-"Gent orders lamb chops and
there amt any," Proprietor (g!ancing
at clocll)-"Well, give him an oyster
stew and say nothin'."
An illiterate publican wrote over his
door: "Bear sold here" sHe spells the
word quite correctly" said Theodore :
Hook, ''if he means to apprise is that
the article is of his own Bruin."
A juvenile baseball club in this city Is
called the Units. The urchins that
christened it probably did not stop TO-
consider that it will take twenty Of them.
to make one score.-Goodalps Sun.
Plenty of men can tell you what tha
score of the days baseball game was, and
be at the same time utterly unable to say
anything about their own scores at the
corner grocery.-Merchant Iraceler.
Mrs. Wiggers-"Wiggers is the most
aggravating man. He just nags and nags
at me until I get so mad I can't talk"
Mrs. Jiggers-"Perhaps that's what ha
does it for, dear. r."-Te,vG Haute Erpress.
When sailing never quarrel, for
You'll find, beyond doubt,
A boat is not pleasant place
To have a falling out
Judge.
Mr.. Brief-"Your uncle has directed
in his will that you shall have one cent"
Mr.. Spendthrift-"Good, kind unclel
Gn sudden alarm.) Are you sure, Mr.
Brief, it isn't counterfeit S"-Harper's
Ba=ar.
Young Mrs. Oldboy-"Dear me,
you can't think how attached l am to
this FARM" Miss Minnie Ball (thought-
fully-"Yes, you must have been at
tached to it, or you wouldn't have
married it."
Now with line, and jug, and hook,
See the fisher by the brook
By the river lying.
Now. again, at eve behold him
Showing fish dealer sold him
By the hour lying.
-Youngstorn Telegram.
"Ana now, children" said the super
intendent, benignantly, ''are there any
questions you would like to ask before
we leave this lesson?" ''How long did
it take you to get all the pigs in the pen
the first time you tried?" inquired the
sweet little girl on the front seat
Chicago Tribune.
A broom is not watch, and yet it is
notorious that broomstick. This fippant
fancy may be developed in many ways;
thus one may insist that fiddles tick; that
you can make a bed tick; that tact
ticks; that some sheep tick, and even
that gum, alas ticks. But, after all, how
poor q thing is man, even in his highest
flights of inherent imbecility! Even Max
welton's brays are not always bonny.-,
Go1a,nercit7Z Adreytiser,