The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-04-18


To life eternal them thy mission done,
Thou, angel Pain, wilt neer attend me more.
THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY OF DOING
BUSINESS, AND HE KNEW 1T.
Iwant to send off for lady's fashion
magazine, and OF a dozen different oc
cssionsI begged of Mr.. Bowser to write
the letter and send off the money. He
kept promising and neglectiug, man
like, but one evening he said:
"Give me the name of that magazine
and will get letter off tomorrow"
Its gone" answered.
"Who sent ii;'
II did"
"Humph! Do you mean to tell me
that you wrote business letter.
II do. ] ordered the magazine and
sent IN years subscription
What did you writer"
:Oh, " in the usual FORM"
"And chucked the 81 into the letter, l
suppose?"
Eyes, sir"
"Well, that's about what should ex-
pect of you. You'll never see money or
magazine again"
II won't? Why?"
because, in the first place, it stood
just as good chance of going to some
machine shop as to a magazine office,
with your style of directing an envelope:
and because, secondly, if some post office
official dosen't steal the money, they
will gobble it at the end of the route and
swear they never got it. Mrs. Bowser
you are as simple as child"
':But il NAV come all right"
Eyes, and we may discover box OF
gold in the back yard. There's is but
one way to do business"
"How's that2"
"See this P. Q. money order for 1882
/ am going to send this to Boston tomor-
row. IL will go straighter than crow,
and there is no cause for worry. How
evey, it's usless to try to learn woman
how to do business"
Three or four days went by and then
he suddenly inquired:
Have you heard from that magazine,
Mrs. BowserI"
mot Yet"
II suppose not. When you do hear
please let me know. After forty or fifty
experiences of this sort you may learn
how to do business"
Two days latter he asked me again,
and was then able to show him letter
acknowledging receipt of the money and
copy of the magazine.
1T seems to have gone through he
said, as he handed the letter back, but
that was owing to Providence. Probably
the parties had heard of me and hesitat
ed to defraud you for fear Id raise q
row."
What about the order you sent off,
Mr.. Bowser?"
He jumped out of his chair and turned
pale and gasped.
"By gum! but I'd forgotten about that!
l ought to have had an acknowledge
ment three days ago."
Cant have been lost, ehI"
"N-no,"
1T was the only proper way to do bust
ness, wasn't it,
"Of course it was, and of couse it got
there all right, I'll probably get letter
tomorrow"
When the morrow came | asked him
il he had heard from his order.
Z" Not exactly" be replied, "but am
certain that it got there safe"
But they ought to acknowledge it. >"
"Y-e-r."
"Ther is but one way of doing busl
ness, Mr.. Bowser When send of money
receive an acknowledgment of its ar
rival. You are sure you sent it!'
Sure l sent III Do you take me for
lunatic, Mrs. Bowser?"
But it's 80 queer"
II don't see anything 80 queer about
it. 1 wrote again two days ago, and
shall have letter tomorrow begging
nv pardOn for the delay,n
"a letter arrived next day. / saw Mr.,
Bowser's perturbation when he came
home that something was wrong, and
he finally handed me the letter. 1t
read:
"No post office order has been received
from you, Please do not try any more
chestnuts on u.s."
But you did send it," protested.
"Of course did,"
DIRECTED your letter all right"
Certainly"
Stamped and posted III"
Look here, Mrs. Bowser, you talk as
il didn't know enough to get aboard a
street car and pay my fare"
But it's so queer. There is but one
business way of doing business, Mr.. Bow
ser. After forty or fifty experiences OF
this sort you may learn how to do bust
ness"
He glared at.me and was too lnsulted
to reply. He went 10 the post Office and
made a complaint, and for the next
two weeks that lost order was the topic
OF conversation. The officials sought
to trace the letter, and Mr.. Bowser made
affidavits to this and that, and the hunt
was still going on when, in busting off
his SECRETARY and strengthening up his
loose papers, found a letter sealed and
addressed TO the Boston firm. had no
doubt it contained the missing order,
l quietly handed it to Mr.. Bowser as he
came up to dinner, and his face turned
all colors before he could open it.
"Mr. Bowser," l said, you men folks
have curious ways of doing business. 1t
is sing"
I'D like to know how this letter got
herei" he demanded.
"You left it here, of course"
"Never Because scolded you about
your careless way of sending off money.
and because you wanted toget even with
me for it, you took this letter from my
pocket and detained it. Mrs. Bowser
this is the last straw to the camel's load.
Do you want alimony or lump sum-
Next day he was all right again, and
he even stopped at the sale and brought
me up half a dozen pairs OF gloves,