St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-19
A DIFFICULT SITUATION.
But One of Frequent Recurrence
in the Clerks Office.

in the Clerks Office.
An unusual case of illiteracy for
community lours hing under the title
st. Paul'' and braced by the breeze of
modern educational advantages was
that exhibited in the county clerks
Office yesterday afternoon. Two men,
both uncouth in manner and attire, ap-
peared at the grated window and in
quired i'll language broken and faltering
whether marriage licenses were kept
for sale 'here." One was young man
with face like a Hubbard squash; the
other was an elderly individual with
blank stare, chest full of anxiety.
around which was tightly buttOned
sun-baked coat: and the adornments on
his face, consisting OF Little Canada
mud splashes, warts and whlskers OF
sisal rope texture. were indeed what
properly belonged to the Intellect OF
such a picturesque specimen Ounce
junior was about to marry the daughter
of Ounce pere. and together they had
come for the license.
The clerk, presuming upon some in
telligence at least, put the usual form
of questions to the applicant for the
certificate:
do you live in this county, sir? and
does the lady you hope to marryT'
''Damfino!' said the young heather.
Don't you understand EngliSh?' was
asked by the clerk.
Here the father of the bride-elect
broke in with both feet and eXcitedly
said: "Nuni nun! no-o-o! Sacre-
youse re pallai Franch?''
The clerk after much effort made his
auditors understand that he could not
speak French after their fashion, and
then asked the young man what his
name was.
''Zep-r-r-r-lee-lee Bahl-phonso-ee Pat
reah-ahn-we, wei any-howilw
"Whatw said the clerk, dazed and
staggering; spell There is a piece of
sole leather, write it out on that"
''Can't-doo-it."
Cant yon read and writer"
"NahI''
This was disgusting. Hoping for re
lief from another quarter, the clerk
turned to Ounce Pere and asked him to
put down the name of his future son-in-
law. his own and that of his daughter.
ME no read; me no write; me canno
AngliSe," ETC., until 1t was evident the
old man could neither read nor write in
any language. He also had a knife
dulling name, and the accents he APP
Piled made it as unintelligible as the
one attempted by the young Ounce.
This was a predicament. The clerk
guessed at the names, wrote them out,
and held them under the noses of the
Frenchmen for approval, recognition
or anything They confessed they
couldn't distinguish writing from sing
ing. While the clerk p0ndered what
next to do, the old man kept repeating
what he said was the name of his daugh-
ter, the bride-elect. 1t sounded like
Observation-Disclosures, with the
accent on the penult. This he rang out
in the most cultural sound. Said the
clerk: "DOes your daughter read or
write?"
''Naht mach; noti-tall, bah-wah, de
krappu; shee make de liseuZ, hah?"
No, we cannot issue license with
out the names of the principals. How
old is your daughter?"
Seventeen year old"
Continuing the clerk. asked the young
man TO go out in the back yard and get
some Frenchman to write out the names
and bring them in, while the old man
was asked if he gave his consent to the
marriage of his daughter. Replying to
this he tried, with lavish gesticulating
to convince those about him that he
had given his consent.
The clerk, not knowing either of the
men, put the old man under oath TO
speak the truth. He then asked him if
he would swear that he was the father
of the girl to whose affianced alicense
was about to be issued.
"Me swear to Noting like dot; me
feel re very Shure, but maybe | be-a
fool, | cannO tell" This was enough.
The names arrived and were nearlyas
bad In Orth0graphy as they were in
SOud. The license was granted, and
last night was hilarious one III Little
Canada-sO say the survivors,.