Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-08-01
ISR'EL'S SACRIFICE.
He Might Have Been President IF
He Had Only Tried

He Had Only Tried
So the old lady's been tellin' you I
might "a been President if I hadn't
wasted myself on the farm. has she?
Bless her, she can't no more help that
idee abein' in her head and a-telIin' of
whenever she gets a chance, than / can
help whittlin' when l talk
Want to know how / missed Twin in
the White House an instead struck
root on a down-east farm? Well,
don't mind if l tell We, seem the cows
is MIXED and the turkeys in and the
old lady can't nowadays think of
another chore fort least a mint and a
half
Never lived on farm, did We, with
a real smart and gO-ahead wife? Well
you'd be s'prised to see how many
things SIGH e helpmeet could find to do
after all was done.
But land! keziah. she's got so ulster
midgin me up and I've got so ulster
waitin' to be midgin, that it ed seem
strange like if things wasn't that way.
Ye see l Amt nigh as pudgicky as I
ulster be and things step along first
rate and easy-reckon even the old
notion OF birthstone hereafter wouldn't
scare me much now. I'd sOrter say to
myself and Keziah, If we've got to be
burned to cinders, we've either got to
gin out some time or be made tough
enough to stand it.
But about my bein' President. I
was young in them days and was con-
sidered good lookin', bein' five foot
seven in my stOckin's and not lackin'
in conceit. May be you've found out
for yourself that folks value you
pretty much at your own figures, and
to think you're some pumpkins is the
surest way to be some pumpkins. It's
strange. but mighty true. Now don't
count for nigh as much as / did in
them days jest because I've sorter
grown modes, and don't set myself for
ward. Heigho. if it want for Keziah
don't believe I would be any count
at all.
But when 1 had this good feelin'
about myself lived over there on a
farm jest beyond them hem1ocks We
see to the north, and Keziah, she lived
here in the old house, which I may add
want nigh so smart and white as it is
now kez1ah was beauty in them
days, jest like a peach that's all ready
to drop off'n a tree, but if you'll be-
lieve me didn't know it then. I had
to go away to larn it.
Ye see had growed up with her
and was so used to takin' her soft ewes
and gentle ways for granted that I
didn't think nothing of them in par
ticular, or if l did thought they was
a part of pretty much all girls. and my
due for bein' superior chap. ulster
carry her to singin' school and apple
bees and meetin's, but as for lovin'
her, / didn't know what it meant
1 was ambitious, We see, in them
days. and couldn't give no thought to
love maxim, more'n an evenin's fun.
And Keziah. she seemed never to think
about it no more'n 1 did. She was
easy and gentle. but that was all.
on and on / worked down to the
village. and kept a wantin'. stronger
and stronger. to swing out for myself,
where there was lots o noise and ex-
element. Country ways began to
seem dull. and country folks no end
slow. l got a notion in my head that
i was meant for a bigger man than a
farmer. l wanted to see the city.
Dear me. All boys jest comm into
khiskers and neckties has the same
feelin's. Sometimes they recover and
sometimes they don (which I take it
was the case with Bonyparte. Now if
he only hadn't had a relapse he might
"a lived several years longer in COM
fort and happiness.
I recovered. but I had 'em pretty
bad and needed some master bitter
herbs before got well
I took to findin' faults IN the old
folks as had brought me into life and
worked their poor. tired hands in hard
knots for my sake. / actually began
to see that they eat with their knives
and didn't care whether they had a
napkin or mott
When / come to that state. thought
it was time 1 left An so one Sunday
afternoon 1 packed up my close. and
told mother was goin' to New York.
/ don't like to think about the way
her wrinkled face looked when / told
her-it was sudden and unexpected, ye
see, to her, for / kept my feelfn's
pretty much to myself She didn''
try to argy with me not to go-ii
Want that. but it was the way she
said goodbye"
Father want so hard-he was q