The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-03-20
How to Make a Happy Home.


A home of discord may be visited
by acquaintances, but its doors are
never likely to be knocked at by
friends. Sensible people will give it 8
wide berth, and prefer friendship and
intimacy with those who live at peace
Nobody finds wise young man court
ing girl in a family who get on ill
among themselves. He wants bird
out of good nest, and has no wish to
be drawn in by marriage to take one
side or other of lifelong fireside feud.
1t is hard on girl, you say. Some
times. But about the young mans
sagacity there can be no question
whatever. If all homes were happy
what pleasant world it would he
and there is no reason why happiness
should not reign everywhere, if peo-
pie would only make wisdom, and not
stupidity, the guide of their lives.
When people are miserable it is in
ninety-nine cases out of the hundred
nobody's fault but their own. An Elm
peror of China was once travelling
through his realm, and he came upon
a family in which the grandfather,
with his wives-he had several of
them-his children, sons-in-law,
daughters-in-law, and servants, all
lived under the same roof in perfect
peace and harmony. The Emperor
was so struck with this, that he asked
the old man by what means he con-
trived to avoid quarrels and disputes,
and to have his large family live to-
gether so pleasantly. Taking out a
pencil he wrote in reply these words
"Patience and common sense" That
was the whole secret. An easy one to
remember, but hard, especially with
some natures, to put in practice.
What strikes one as an odd thing is
that many are able to exercise patience
and common sense abroad, but find it
next to all impossible task at home.
With them everything is done for the
benefit of society at large, and at the
expense of their own circle. In other
peoples houses they have face like a
benediction, whilst in their own it is
disfigured with frowns. Of all follies,
this is one of the greatest. AS if it
were not their interest, let alone their
duty, to do exactly the reverse. If
any one has a mind to be cross, snap
pish and disagreeable. let her choose q
field for giving vent to her ill-humor
as far removed from home as possible.
Our best side should be turned not to
strangers but to those with whom we
dwell, and whilst it is right to wish
for the good opinion of everybody, we
should be anxious most of all about
the favora e impression we make on
our own folks at home. Of the whole
tribe of girls give us her whose broth
ers aud sisters call her, and with good
reason, an angel. We have duties to
perform abroad, but we can never do
these things rightly if we start by neg
lecting what we owe to our own rela-
tives, and acting as if we believed that
good works, kindness. gentleness, and
good humor ought to begin at any
place rather than at home. This is in.
verting the natural order of things
and is a proceeding to be looked fol
only from foolish people. If there is
to be household harmony, an impor
tant point is to cultivate sweet tenn
per: 14e-cannot do without that
Some tempers are like violin string;
out of tune with them, who can eX
pect either melody or harmony from
the family orchestra? This is special
ly young woman's subject; indeed
if our girls are not amiable, nobody
else can be expected to he. 1t is tc
their kind and gentle words that We
must look for an antidote to frettins
and ill-humor. At home the keynote
of the days music is often struck by
the first word we hear in the morning
and happy is that house where it is al
ways uttered by the smiling lips o
good tempered girls.