The Dickinson press., 1889-08-24
BILL ARP ON COOKING.
THE COOK QUITS AND UNCLE WILL
IAN TAKES A HAND.

THE COOK QUITS AND UNCLE WILL
IAN TAKES A HAND.
He Tells All About 1t and Also Discusses
Other Subjects of a Domestic Character.
He Unreservedly Expresses His Fondness
for Better Half.
Boast not myself of tomorrow. for thou
knowest not what a day may bring forth"
No, we don't dideut know last night that
Mrs. Angelina Peacock woulient he here this
morning. Nobody knew it until there was n
tap at the door and a voice said Mrs. Peacucs
sent ME to tell you she sick-can't come no
saith: Weeping may endure for a night, but
general thing, but right smart depends on
whether the cook comes in the morning. No
cook, no Joy. Mrs. Arp wasent well nohow.
and let me manage the breakfast; and so |
called Carl and Jessie, and we made a regu-
lar frolic of it, and had the best breakfast we
have had for a month.
Mrs. Angelina Peacock cant compare with
10 WACA we Ohh a ltO ~ SOOh. )uC OOtS
her best, but she is old and rheumaty, and
weighs about $50 pounds, and got fat and
greasy while cooking in old Virginnv befo'
de wah. She is not the lovely maiden that
Goldsmith wrote about in the Hermit. when
he said.
Turn. AnSelina; ever dear
My charmer. turn to see
That was another Angelina. | used to cry
over hur md wish that | wac Elyyip Vhan ho
clasped her to his breast.
THE CITY r TO MILK.
Every member of a family ought to know
how to cook. There is no other way of feel
ing independent. Let the cook quit if she
wants to. 1t is no discredit to anybody to
cook. 1t is about as honorable as it is to eat,
and is more scientific ami takes more brains.
A hog can eat, but he can't cook. But |
want it understood that | am not a standing
candidate for that business. just want my
cook quits it is not a case of utter despair.
Our children have never rebelled against these
domestic accomplishments. They can cook
and milk the COW and make up the beds and
maket their own clothes, and are always will
ing to do it when there is a necessity.
Isaw Carl milking the other evening, and
a sweet, pretty girl, who was no kin to him,
was standing close by holding the bucket for
him, and it did look so confectionery, as
Cobe says, that l wanted a photograph of
the lactean scene. There was "a Savannah
girl up here not long ago, and she had never
seen a COW MIXED and Carl had to explain to
her the process, how that one teat was for
sweet milk and one for buttermils and one
for cream and one for the calf, and the
evro,e o,ooon ho1;,,ol 81 ora., ,,,o,a
But about this cooking business | am not
uttering the sentiments Of Mrs. Arp. She is
constitutionally opposed to getting up early
in the morning. She is willing to cook din
ner and supper, but has no liking for cooking
breakfast nor washing the dishes. She is no
great adnirer of King Solomon either, and
sometimes hints that his respect for women
and children was very limited. for he wanted
witches and thresh poles for the boys, and
kept three or four hundred wives to wait on
him, and his definition of u vi.t.ous woman
was, "She riseth while it is yet night and Civ
wanted his wife to get up before day and go
to cooking, while he slept until the bell rang
for breakfast.
and worry with raising eight or ten children,
IL Nv CAOp IL Adl0 ny ouo ~ tuUlUleu 10
rest, and l think SO, too. She shan't cook if
I can help it. She has made a thousand lit
tie garments and worked ten thousand but
ton holes in her life, but, thank the good
Lord, her eye is not dimmed nor her natural
colored nabor, Mrs. Fletcher, always comes
when she can, but she is raising a crop her
self and can make a full hand in our kit
chen.
Mrs. ARP A GOOD SPEAKER.
But variety is the spice of life, and some
how l like for something to happen that
changes the monotony of things and gets p
connection and stimulates our energies. |
to strike once in a while. l like for the
to threaten us. like for my vest buttons to
come off and my under garments to get
ragged so that Mrs. Arp will be sorry for me
and beg ME to buy some new clothes, and l
can say with a sigh, l can't afford it, these
will do me very we'll; it doesn't matter how |
look. like to work in the garden while the
sun is hot and hear Mrs. Arp calling III. from
the window, "You had better come in the
house; you will make yourself sick again
working in that sun"
AAnS " ~ w aAS0A ANNt louS SONlluS
away i'll the night when deep sleep falleth
upon a maj but not upon a woman, and when
she punches me in the side with her elbow |
get up and neander bravely all through and
around the house hunting for robbers and
ghosts just to show her what protector she
has got. She is going to st. Simons next
week and | am going to stay at home. Some
of her married children are going with her,
and she is to chaperon the chaps or matron.
ize the party, or whatever you call it. Idon't
know whether she is going to lave in the salt
sea wave or not. but | can see her now stand
ing upon the beach and, with extended arm,
repeating the speech of her school days:
Roll on. thou deep and dark blue ocean. roll
Ten thousand fleets sweep over ti:ec in vain.
Thou glorious mirror where the Almiglty's form
Glasses itself on tempests
oh, she was a speaker, she was. and she is a
speaker yet. She speaks to me sometimes.
wish that every aspiring soul could 80 to
st. Simons, or somewhere, and look upon the
seattle ocean. Ii a man has a soul how it
expands it! How diminutive he feels in the
presence of this mighty work of God. But
hundreds go there just like they so to a cir
Gus. They have no new emotions, no increase
of reverence and no decrease in their own
conceit. Bill Arp in Atlanta Constitution.
A Good Woman.
Mrs Felicia Grnn1y Porter who diad NJ