New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-10-03
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The Eoose-bOno cranks all unto In saving that
| the coming winter is going to be an open one IL
would be WISE therefore, to prepare for unusually
severe winter; for the goo,e-bone crank, like
morning dream, goes by contrarles.
A young lady who has recently finished her studies
in Paris, and who IS very proficient in French.
writing TO Boston friend enc day She was de-
scrlDlhg me progress OF an afare du coeur Of
gentleman friend, the object Of whose affections
Of expressing his devotion had proved very interesting
10 the wrlt,r, and In referring to The subject. she
SO cachcr, '-ordnafly translated as meaning love
and smoke are unable to conceal themselye'.'
on, her Frcpcb T apd nv o ' ,end sG d
succeeded In rendering the quotation as follows:
| Honesty is the best policy. "-(Boston Times
That clipper young Snowman Mr. p. T. Barnum
is going to Europe TO work up a boom in the show
| business in the effete monarchics. While there he
expects to meet Mr.. Gladstone De Les'eps. Bis
narck and the other young fellows who have shown
| themselves 10 be hustlers'
! "Wen what did you learn new in agriculture at
| the county fair!' asked Mrs. Granger Of her hus-
| band upon his return home from the exhibition.
| WHY, lG-%ned enough not 70 Dot zen d2nsrS on
| the wrong horse next time.'-(NorristOwn Herald.
The citizens Of Taylorsville Neb., recently tarred
and feathered old Jason Mitchell and then rode him
on rail. Instead Of resenung this treatment, Jason
seemed to enjoy It, This puzzled the boys very much
until the old man sued twenty five Of them for 800
DAMAGES EACH and got It. Then they began to see
| that Ja,on really had the most fun.
Sure TO Be a Good Thing ellowly-Pretty good
! thing overheard to-day. must tell it 10 you.
nro&rly-Lct's seei You overheard it
| B.-You did, but want to be sure. II you simply
heard i haven't time to hear it, but If you over
VI overheard It,
B.-Then go along, my boy, and give US the whole
thing. expect it's something rich'-tBoston
Courier
great many Of the people who devote their lives
to the exploiting of fads rapidly getting rid or
their old and shopworn stock Of fads In order 10 make
| room for the newly imported lbsen rad" Ana
already there are superior persons in this town who
VIII look upon you with ill-cOnceaed contempt II you
confess that you don't know anything about Nora
IIelmer, the heroine of The Dolls House,
TIE TELEPHONE GIRL.
Pm a Central Union Telephone girl
com. w5sa Io qSe gGaa Pfone handle wh
come T Tn sa-i ing Gins ting ,aiing tiHg;
I'm queen Of hUndred hq I here Y a now
And for each of these holes I've a CHEEKY Hello y
Ting. a.lng, tDg.a-ling, ting
can hear every word that YOU speak Ger the wiro
Tnga lng-ling. ling a-lng-ling 49,
Even down TO the whispers OF loves tickle fire,
Tinga,ling, ting.a-ling ting;
I know ali the secrets there are IN the town,
Where fatbess men smile and suspicious wives frown-
Ting a-llng, ting aling, ting
! I am inst as curious as curious can be;
Tinga-lng-ling, ting a,lng-llng'
The faces Of all my patrons 10 see
|
II I could but see as / hear DER the line,
! Nv lnnwiodGe OF things would be semi-divine,
! And nv iob would never, no never, resign,
| Ting a-lng, ting-allng. ting
| columbus (ohiol Dispatch.
| Al r,,dorce az WlsdOm.-Yellowly-W were speak
inc 90 Wbtelv the other day and said thought him
| To- be A very intelligent man
| BrownlyEYou spoke in fun OF course.
| YOCertainly not {; was In dead earnest
many You never hear him talk. Where does he show
Vie Shows It by keeping his mouth shut-(Boston
| Courier.
Soma ono suggests that II clergymen would divide
their sarmons into two parts, and have hymn or
| nm arthor, sung between the parts. it would he "A
GOOD thing. Doubtless II would be considered a
GOOD thing nv those who don't like long sermons; for
tbov could quietly steal out during the singing of the
| hymn.
Making Assurance poably Sure RE- smLawbreaker-
iV ssmbo-r might, Boss, but. Use powful feared
II nj leah rom de aidges-you betah try twenty.
-CThe Epoch.
An old maid who has read about tho recent In
yention Of smokeless powder, thinks that some one
ought IN invent a smokeess tobacco. But such y
tobacco has been invented long ago; IL is known
a, chewing tobacco.
Fitz.Georse Parvenu (studying wine llstl-.l say.
| steward yet me a bottle Of-er,-ah, what do you
| stewari--Haut sauterne. Dir.
| Fitz-G. P.--Ahl Just ~. But I'll have it eoa'-
Ocean