Wichita eagle., 1889-07-19
NEED OF MOTHERS CARE.
LET THERE BE CONFIDENCE BE-
TWEEN MOTHER AND DAUGHTER.

| Ballroom. the Theatre and at Home.
We read that the foreigner, on coming te
this country, is amazed at the relation OF the
American mother and daughter, the attitude
of the latter being so entirely different from
that he has seen in any other civilized land
If we have never considered the subject be
FORE we look about us and see that the charge
is true for neither in our homes nor in those
of our friends do we find that the American
| girl regards her mothers word as the ulti-
matum; 10 be quite fair, we are obliged to
| acknowledge that the opposite is the case
and when meet a daughter entirely obedient,
deferring to her parent and, above all, rev.
erencing her opinion, we are conscious OF a
| feeling of surprise In the average Ameri-
can home the mother, perforce, remains ID
| the background, the ambitious and educated
| daughter bringing new atmosphere about
! her which intimidates and often oppresses
the less educated parent to such degree that
she usually retires from the drawing room
| into her own private room, where slip OF
| grammer is not q serious matter and the con-
! versation consists Of some lighter topic than
evolution and the poetry of Browning.
THE MANEUvERING MOTHER
In the home of fashion and culture the mo-
ther has her set Of acquaintance and partic-
ular fads, and IS often SO wearied with the
demands upon her time to leave little or
no leisure to look with close attention upon
the coming and going of her young daughter.
She, poor child, has made her debut and
has been launched into the gay world by a
grand ball; cards have been sent to all de-
sirable people, wealth and social distinction
have united in making her welcome to her
share in the great scramble called society"
and now she is left to do her best, to hold her
own, for she Will meet many who in their
eagerncss for the race will push and jostle her
hitherto innocent notion out of sight, and
teach her that all is fair IN the social war,
where victory implies q. rich marriage or such
prestige as will open doors closed but to the
favored few.
"Have ever heard of that detesatble crea-
ture called the maneuvering motherf
o, yes, and | astonish my interlocutor by
replying: Il respect her more than the care
less mother, for the maneuverer betrays an
interest and care for her young, and in a
measure looks out for her welfare and COM
pels the child to feel that she is still held &C
countable to some specified authority. My
young country woman, feeling that she IS her
own mistress and a law unto herself, steps
out with the freedom of rapid PAGER, who,
being free of check rein, gets off the track
before he knows it, and when time is called
is with his jockey quite out Of hearing"
II is this question Of calling time with
which [ wish to deal Who is to call timel
How often it is needed, those who go to balls
and large assenblages of any sort will agree.
Ny young countrywoman, as sweet as
rose--for who can compare with the Ameri-
can girl in her early blooma-comes to the
ball with her partner, a young fellow. Where
is her matrons Mother is at home or encag-
ed elsewhere; perhaps her name has been
mentioned to one of the patronesses, but this
is not the rule, and so mademoiselle has it all
her own way; she may sit all evening under
a shading palm, discussing sweet nothings, or
she may dance with one man simply because
his step and hers agree, or, if one of the
quieter sort, she may remain at the wall, sad
and forlorn.
MUCH SORROW MAY BE AVOIDED.
This carries US on to the more serious occu-
ton of courtship; when young man visits
young lady, hold that some of her family
should at least be seen as inhabiting the same
house; if he is only an occasional caller, or
suitor, the necessity is equal; where there is
q parlor and library adjoining why may not
the parents sit in the next room, an indorse
ment for their daughter, their age and ex-
perience making a proper background for
her youth and innocences
No good man viii shrink from girl be
cause she is an object'of proper solicitude on
the part of her natural care takers, and he
viii feel that that more honor is due her
from the fact that she has been jealously
guarded from any evil during the period of
her giTlhood
The the parents would become acquainted
with their daughters friends, and have some
knowledge of the men who frequent their
house, instead of delaying the introduction
as Is sometimes the case, until after the en-
gagement, when it Is too late TO make objec-
tons and the contract must stand, come veal
or woe, and In how many cases woe" is the
result we have but 70 turn to the register for
divorce to learn.
Much sorrow and trouble might be avoided
by perfect confidence being observed between
mother and daughter-protectmg love from
the one, tender dependence from the other.
The parent living her youth over again in
the fresh inIpulsiveness Of her child, which
recalls 10 her memory the dear old days when
her step was light and her heart free from
care. The daughter, reading in the mothers
eye that sympathy and tenderness which no
one on earth but a mother can give, and.
guide by the larger experience, learns to
shun so many of tho pitfalls into which the
unguarded easily fnll!
We have homes for foundlings homes for
drunkards. homes for old men and women
all excellent in their several ways, and NO
one more grateful for them than l. But LET
Us beware of career like Mrs. Jelleby lest in
bestowing our attention upon our Boorio-
boola Cha We come to neglect our nearest
duty and SO leave our young daughters &c
pursue their own ways. forgetful of the feet
that from the time Of their emancipation
from the nursery they need q mothert
watchfulnesS whether IN the ball room, the
theatre, or the house
II the mother is Ill and unable to go about,
let the nearest relative be delegated to take
charge; anything is better than the custom
now almost a common one-of young girls
going into public unattended, thereby bring.
ing upon Us the just criticism that our
guardians are too lax, our children too pro-
greSSve, and our manners too free-Fe.icis
hall In Ladies Home journal.
a Glass Window in the Umbrella.
There mead hsa no further ex,,,,S,, for allow.