davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07
WHAT CAUSES MIRTHl

Sydney Smiths Answer to This Query, with
Some Clear Illustrations.
Sydney Smith gave the true answer
when he said that the form of mental
pleasure we call mirth was due to the dis
covery of congruity in seeming incon-
gruity or the reverse. This is best illus
trated by an example. Boileau he'd a
brother who was mauvais sujet, failed
in life and came to ask for help. Boileau
upbraided him with his misconduct,
pointed out how they had both started in
life under equally favorable conditions
and with equal chances. and yet how diff
ferently they had got on. "Ah! but just
think" exclaimed the brother, "what an
immens4 advantage you had over me in
brothersr'
The discovery of the point, the seeing
Of the joke is, says Sydney Smith, analo-
gous to the pleasant mental feeling in
discovering something quite new, or in
suddenly understanding something dark
to us before. This sensation is always
pleasant, but in joke the discovery,
since it is carefully prepared for, is mo-
mentary, unexpected, and without toll,
and therefore far m ore highly pleasure
BILE than the ordinary mental discovery
To take another example, that of the
wooden pavement before st. Pauls: IF
the dean and chapter would only lay
their heads together the thing would be
done" said Sydney Smith. Here very
clearly the fun is in the pleasure occa-
stoned by the instant mental discovery
of the connection. Notwithstanding the
apparent complete incongruity between
the heads of the dean and chapter and
the wood pavement.
Now, the slower mind works the
more difficulty it has in quickly follow
ing out the congruity through the ap-
parent incongruities, or the incongruity
through the apparent congruities, and SO
in seeing the joke. Men with slow
minds, then, prefer the plainest form of
covery, such as the mere noticing
tnat something out of the ordinary is
going on, as when man clowns it by
putting on an enormous hat, carroty
wig and sea green coat. Thus, all
stupid and duh witted people are most
I ny llOIot
play, and those minds which, though
they are powerful, are also sluggish, find
it too hard work to follow mentally the
lightning flash in a finely wrought ver-
bal epigram.
No doubt such theory as this postu-
lates that the man who likes Lamb and
Sydney Smith, but says he sees no joke
at all in buffoonery, really means that
he only sees very little joke, and that
he does not care for it because he can see
SO much more in other things. This.
however, agrees with common expert
ence. The man fond Of the highest kind
of wit is never really unable to see the
fun of the clown. though it may bore
him by its smallness, and if he is scien-
tifically minded he no more refuses to
call it a kind of wit, humor or fun than
he does to call vim ordinaire wine, though,
as matter of fact, what he really con-
siders wine is Lafitte. All the mirth
causing agents areof one kind and differ
only in degree, though the degrees are
often mtense.-London Spectator.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

Among the interesting occasions of
Inauguration day was the Initiation
of Ex-Speaker, Samuel. Randall IN
to the Grand Army Of the Republic
Although a member Of Congress
ff,--ff~~iiNp the war for the Union, Mr..
Randall found two occasions totender
~, 81 ices, IN h. field In the out
ble ..k ut the war he was a sergeant OF
a Philadelphia city troop, and he
served in the Cumberland valley in
rennsyvania, Maryland and in the
vicinity of Bunker Hill, Martinsburg,
HaSper's Ferry and Charl estown, w.
Va, during the first three months
campaign. During the confederate
advance nolthward into Maryland and
PENNSYLVANIA in 1868 Randall was
the captain of the troop and served
during the emergency. lie was pro
vost marshal of Columbia, Penn, for
time during the period of invasion.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

President Harrison has the follow
ing in his inaugural in relation to the
civil service:
"Heads of departments, bureaus
and all other public officers having
any duty connected Herewith will be
expected to enforce the civil service
law fully and without evasion. Be-
yond this obvious duty l hope to do
something more to advance the reform
of the civil service. The ideal, or
even my own ideal, | shall probably
not attack. Retrospect will not be
safer basis of judgment than promis-
es. We shall not, however, l am
sure, be able to put our civil service
upon non-partisan basis until we
have secured anincumbency that fair
minded men of the opposition will ap-
prove for impair iality and integrity.
AS the number of such in the civil
list increases removals from office will
diminish"
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07
PRICE THREE CENTS.
GIRLS WHO ARE IN DEMAND.

The girls that are wanted are good girls
Good from the heart to the lips;
Pure as the lilly is white and pure,
From its heart to its sweet leaf tips.
The girls that are wanted are home girls
Girls that re m ,ther's right hand,
That fathers and brothers can trust to
And the little ones understand.
Girls that are fair on the h"arthstone,
A d pleasant when nobody sees;
Kind and sweet to their own folks,
Ready and anxious to please.
The girls that are wanted are wise girls,
That know what to o or say,
That drive with smile or soft word
The wrath of the household away.
The girls that are wanted are girls of sense
Whom fashion can never deceive;
Who can follow whatever is pretty,
And dare what is silly to leave.
The girls that are wanted are careful girls,
Who count what thing will cost,
Who use with prudent, generous hand
But sees that nothing is lost.
The girls that are wanted are girls with
hearts;
They are wanted for mothers and wives
Wanted to cradle in loving arms
The strongest and frailest lives.
The clever, the witty the brilliant girl,
There are few who can understand;
But, oh for tho wise, lovin!, home girl,
There's constant, steady demand
Anon.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

what the sifter has been Preaching.

/
The st. Johnsbury Republican
wants the people to take hold of poll
tics and place Governors of their own
in power. 1t says:
"Let them put down, for one year,
at least, the ring of politicians and
the railroad ring that have so long
dominated our State, and choose a
Governor of their own-a man whose
ability we all recognize, whose inde-
pendence of thought and action can
be depended upon, and who will con-
duct his whole official career with a
single eye to the public good. Let
us have q Governor of our own, not
a Governor of the Central Vermont
railroad or Governor of the town of
Waterbury.
For our own part, we are free to
say that we are tired of eternally see
ing the same old faces and hearing
the same old voices at our State con-
ventions: of seeing the same gang of
manipulators handling the political
wires yea, after year; of seeing one
malignant influence dominate our pol
itics of seeing Governors put over
us by ring, and Speakers who make
up railroad committee that is salts
factory to 10 ID. Hatch or Gov.
Smiths younger lieutenant, Chet
Writers. We are weary of this sort
of thing, and we believe the people
are tired of it too"
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07
A Woman's Discovery

Another wonderful discovery has been
made ard that too by lady in this coun-
tv. Disease fastened its clutches upon
her and for seven years she withstood its
sevcrest tests. but her vital organs were
undermined and death seemed imminent.
For three months she coughed incesantly
and could not sleep. She bought of us a
bottle of DIR. Kings New Discovery for
Consumption and was so much relieved
on taking first dose that she slept all
night aud with one bottle has been mi
raaulously cured. Her name is Mrs. Lu-
ther Lutz." Thus write W. c. Hamrick
& Co, of Shelby, n. C.-Get free
trial bottle at G. G, Smiths, So. Lon
donderry. or at F. E. Smiths Jamaica.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07
Presence of Mind.

We doubt whether any previous age
could match an instance Of presence of
mind which occurred at Dudley the
other evening. A very young couple
were taking stroll along the canal and
quarreled. The youth, throwing off his
coat and hat, exclaimed, THAT will be
my bed tonight" and plunged into the
water. Here we note presence of mind
in first getting rid of the hat and coat
The young lady's conduct was equally
admirable. Instead of falling down in a
faint, she quietly picked up the hat and
coat, and then made her way to the near
est police station. But it was the youth,
after all, who gave the most remarkable
example of common sense under trying
circumstances. Finding the water un-
pleasantly cold, he SWAN across to the
other side, ran home, threw off his wet
things and jumped into bed, where he
was found by his beloved. Such suit
able couple should certainly mate.-Lon-
don Globe.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07
The verdict Unanimou.

w. d Suit, Druggist. Rippus, Ind
testitcs: II can recommend Electric
BitterS as the very best remedy. Every
hut tic sold has given +. lieI In every case.
One man took six bottles, and was cured
of Rheumatism of ten years standing
A raham Hare, druggist, Bci.si.le, O,I ,
afIirms: ''The best selling medicine |
have ever hand ed in my 20 years e>pe
ence is Electric Bitters." Thousands of
others have added theil testimony, so that
the verdict is unanimous that Electric
Bitters do cure all di>orses of the Liver.
Kidney or Blood. Ouly a half dollar q
bottle at G. smiths. 81. lndOnderry
or at +. E. Smiths Jamaica, VI.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

1t is President Harrison with the
following cabinet:
Secretary of State, James G..
Blaine.
Secretary of the Treasury, VIM.
Window of Minnesota.
Secretary of War, Redield Proc
tor of Vermont.
Secretary of the Navy, Benjamin
f. Tracy of New York.
Postmaster General, John Wana-
maker of Pennsylvania.
Secretary of the interior, John W.
Noble of Missouri.
Attorney General, w. H. H
Miller of Indiana.
Secretary of Agriculture, Ex-Gov-
ernor Rusk of Wisconsin.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

The Inauguration address is an
able state paper, but my, it wanted
running through with " man-killer"
and at leaset nine-tenths of its vcr-
biage raked out. 1t is strange that
men can't learn that life is short-too
short to read long-windcd essays.
About one voter in five hundred will
read this long in augural, whereas
had it been boiled down, as it should
have been to one-half column, one
half the voters would have read it.
The address is able, and patriotic,
occupying high conservative grounds,
and is only Objectionable on account
of words, words, words.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

A German paper says that Olivier, the
French actor, possessed incredible powers
Of mimicry. He could assume the voice,
gestures and facial expression of any
person he chanced to meet with. One
day he called on his tailor to ask him to
give him little more time for the pay
ment of his bills, which had been run
ming on for the last three years. At that
moment he saw customer enter the
shop and pay cash down for several arti-
cles of clothing which were delivered to
him. Then the artist heaved deep sigh
of pain. "What is the matter with your
inquired the tailor. "Alasy' replied Oil
vier, there is a man l shall never be
able to initiate. New York Commercial
Adyprfisar
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07
BuckIen's Arnica SaIve.

The best Salve III the wJrl for Cuts
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, fever
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chilblaius,
Corns, and all Skin eruptions, AID poSit
vely cures Piles. or no pay required. 1t
is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction,
or money refunded. Price % cents \ b *.
For Sale by G.. G. Smith, So. Lon Ion
derry, and F. E. Smith, Janaica Vt.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07
SOME FOOLISH PEOPLE

Allow a cough to run until it gets beyond
the reach of medicine They often say.
oh it will wear away" but N most ca
ses it wears them away. Could they be
induced to try the successful called
Kemps Balsam, which is sold ON posi-
tive guarantee TO cure. they would INN :
diately see the excellent effect after taking
ihe first dose. Price SOC and sl.00. Trial
size free. Al all druggists.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07
Christian at Work.

AS well as the handsomest, and others are
invited to call on any druggist and get
Free a trial bottle of Kemp's Balsam for
the Throat and Lungs, a remedy that is
ceiling entirely upon its merits and is
guaranteed to relieve and cure all Chron-
Ic and Acute Coughs, Asthma, Bronchitis
and Consumption. Large bottles 80 cents
and 81. 90
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

f. n. Bissell of East Shoreham
will send 40 head of Merinos, almost
entirely from his own flock, to Buenes
Ayres on the steamer leaving New
York May 8. About half of them
are rams and the rest ewes. His son,
Henry, will go with tn EN-.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

"A CIeVer Notion, Uont ".
Our national institution. .Iow.
der" has at last reached l., here
it is proving regular surp y to
the stomachs of English p. In
truth, the unresponsive ella ting
in lively appearance in til high
est circles, no less person II the
Prince of Wales having ad, -, ''as
one of those clever Ameri, ,tions,
you know" They even go ...r as to
compare this American cla il to olives,
and say when the taste is one s!cquired
he is going to supersede his little cousin,
the oyster.-Boston Herald.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07
TOWN OFFICERS ELECT.

PERU.-Moderator, r. I. Batchel-
det; town clerk, o. p. Simonds
selectmen, r. |. Batchelder, w. j..
Fatnum, H. j. Batchelder; town
treasurer, G. l.. Richardson over
seer poor, M. B. Lyon; constable,
G. X. Davis; listers, NJ. B. Lyon,
w. b. Simonds, w. j. Walker; au-
ditors, NJ. j. Hapgood, G. X. Davis,
Z. W. Whitney; trustee public money,
M. B. Lyon; town grand juror, G.
W. Whitney; pound keeper, p. p.
Wyman; town agent, NJ. B. Lyon !;
s9pt of schools, r. l. Batchelder !;
street committee, G.. X. Davis, W.
B. Simonds, Ira S. Wait; raised one
dollar and eighty cents on a dollar.
Observation-Disclosures, Geo. l..
Fletcher; town clerk, A. d. L..
Herrick; selectmen, Jacob H.
Marsh, Clarence Adams, Atwood
Sergeant town treasurer, A. ID. L.
Herrick; overseer of poor, j. w.
Smith; lstconstable, VIM. P. Dodge {;
I'd, r. w. Carpenter; listers, Henry
f. Guild, Rollin Chandler, Fl. M.
Guild. Voted to elect road commits
sioners. 1st road commissioner, De :
Witt Davis; I'd, p. r. Earle Sd,
IL. l.. Aldrich auditors, P. H. Rob-
bins, j. r. Richardson, N. A..
Smith trustee of public money, A.
ID. l.. Herrick; town grand jurors,
L. W. Marsh, Henry L. Aldrich.
Voted to raise 10 cents on a dollar,
to meet current expenses to be
paid Into the treasury on or before
Dec. lst, 'S9. Voted to exempt the
polls of Yo Semitic Engine Co. No.
| and the engineers of fire company
No. 2 from taxation the coming year,
also that the town purchase 800 feet
of hose for use of Yo Semitic Engine
Co.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, H J. Park
er; trustee of public money, town
clerk, Treas, c. M. Gutterson
selectmen, G. A. Osborn, VIM.
Rowell, d. A. Benson; listers, II.
F. Virgins, S. P. Carleton, H. l.
Walker; overseer, r. E. Edison
agent, II. J. Parker; auditors, W.
A. Feltt, II. j. Parker, ID. A. B en-
son; town grand juror, D. A. Ben
lspR; school commissioner, H. }.
Parker. Amount of tax, 70 cts. for
town, state and school and 40 per,
haent for highway.
v Observation-Disclosures, Asahel Up
ham, town clerk and Treas, l.. B
Chapman, selectmen, j. w. Gould
VIM. Harris, c. w. Hastings; lis.
ters, L. S. Axtell, D. H. Edison
l.. +. Jennison constable, F. I'll
Harris; overseer of poor, selectmen
member of county board of education
G. +. Harris. Tax, 60 cents.
JAMAICA -Selectmen, D. Sherwin
c. H, Landman, David Eddy; listers
f. L. Sprague, Chas. Robbins, l.. I
Eandman; collector of taxes, Lewis
Phelps; town grand juror, Charles
Robbins overseer of the poor, M. L.
Boynton member of county board OF
education, F. B. Pier.
WEsroN.-Moderator, Rev. f. w.
Lewis; clerk Emma G. Peabody
selectmen, W. w. Manning, W. r
Spaulding, D. l.. Hannum; treasurer
lT. Fl. Richardson; overseer, r. 5
CLAYTON; first constable, M. L.
Sweetland second constable, F. A
French; listers, G. E. Coleman, A.
+. Pease, P. ID. Peck auditors, j
A. Parkhurst, j. N. Waite, S. ID
spaulding; agent. c. W. Sprague
voted to raise 81 .25 on the dollar OF
the grand-list Of the town.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

Patents have recently been granted
to the following named: n. Davis,
Montpelier, for a water cooler; to G..
II. Hopkins, Lyndonville, for jack
screw; to c. w. Sleeper, Island
Pond, for carrying wheel, and also
for device for feeding and cutting
solder.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

The matter of building an opera
house in Bennington is meeting with
much encouragement, and the sub
scriptions ofar aggregate about s26-,
600.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

Gov. Dillingham; has ordered a
special election at Brattleboro to fill
the vacancy in the Estey guard caused
by the resignation of Lient. Savory.
Col. Estey will preside.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07
D
NJ m M a, 5 the
sky urtain h o Id ing


sky acurtain o lding
heaven from our sights
are the moon and sun but win.
dows made to give the angels light?
Are the stars bright, flashing diamonds,
shining from Gods hands afar and the
clouds but wells ofvapor dropped from heaven
floating there? If the suns window.
m NINA, don't the angels through II
peep, ere 1t kisses earth at even
watching DER us while we sleep
Is the rainbow just ribbon, grid
Ing heaven and earth about, or
railing made of rosesso the
angels won't fall out? Are the
signing in the treetops sounds
of praise, some angels songs?
andthe snowy
flakes of winter
feathers ia ling
rom their wings?
Are the dewdrops,
brightly shining
In the early morn
ing hours, kiss
spots left by
elves and fair
les, where they
slept among
the fowere?
l. t he lightning
rockets hyin ng
when the Prince
of Glory comes,
And
the thun-
der but the
rattle of the
baby angels
drums
???
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

The Jones, Lamson Machine Co.,
Springfield, have recently received Or
ders for machines from England,
France, and Russia. The company
will enlarge their works the coming
spring.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

For the second time in the history
or the country Vermont has a cabinet
position-and this time it is third
place. Good enough
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

W. II. Foster, one of Sheldon's S
oldest residents, went to the barn to
feed his cattle about noon Wednes-
day, and while getting hay overhead
made a misstep backward and fell
through the pitching hole, distance
of eight feet, receiving injuries which
endanger his life.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

The Rutland Herald's special Wash
ington correspondent writes the fol-
lowing regarding the Inauguration
ball: The Inauguration ball to-
night was magnificent elimination
of the day. Everybody was there,
of high and low degree. 1t was not
select affair-simply S. affair j;
all who could find that amount of
cash in their pockets after the squeez-
ing process undergone during the last
few days, went to the ball this even
ing. The decorations, l am told,
we're unquestionably the most elabor-
ate and magnificent ever seen in this
country and l can easily believe the
statement. The Vermont contingent
was present with full ranks, so to
speak and the coming Secretary Of
War, of course, was the center to-
ward which all their interest gravita-
ted. The tall Vermonter was con-
spicuous figure in the great throng of
people while he remained. The Ver-
monters showed themselves excellent
dancers, when they had an opportu-
nifty to the fascinations of the may
waltz, and here as everywhere else
they reflected credit upon the state.
Many of the ladies' costumes were
notably handsome and elegant.
Mrs. Harrison appeared at the ball
in very handsome dress, entirely of
American manufacture. Tho corsage
and trained skirts were of silver gray
faille Franchise The front of the
skirt consisted of panels of bro
cade of burr oak design, wrought
out in natural colors, on silvery
ground, separated by panels of apricot
silk, yelled in creamy lace. The cor
sage was cut low, filled in with cream
net, wrought with silver and gold
beads.
Mrs. j. r. Mckee wore beauti-
full dress of brocaded satin en- train,
the design being golden rod in gold
and olive on a ground Of parchment
colored satin. The front of the skirt
was composed of deep-shade old gold,
pult de sole, with cream lace and pen
ing over-skirt of apple-green velvet.
The corsage was cut high, with v
shaped opening in front, over which
hung net work of amber and silver,
Mrs. Russell b. Harrison appeared
in fine evening toilet of white faille
Franchise. The long train skirt WIS
Of white silk with the front entirely
covered with white lace embroidered
+, in gold and delicate shades Of pii !,
and blue The cogsage cut lam ahii
sleeveless and in.m d with em-
broideied ace.
Mrs. Morton looked supurbly in
full evening toilet. The back and
train of the dress was of brocaded,
rich cream tinted satin in yellow
Scotch thistles. The front was light
yellow. embroidered in gold and crys-
tai or silver beads. The corsage was
cut low and sleeveless and outlined
by delicate folds of yellow crepe.
Mrs. Blaine has not been going
out this winter, and did not attend
the ball. Mr.. Blaine was accompan-
led by his daughter, Miss Marguerite,
who wore white satin, with lace trim
mings and diamonds.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

Snowfakes are said to be the result a
low lying air currents whose temperar
lures were much lower than those of the
earth's surface.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

Two hundred thousand or more
sight-seers in attendance at Washing
ton on Monday wallow d in mud and
faced a driving rain storm.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

Charcoal ground to powder will b
found to be very good thing for pol
ishing knives.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

One remarkable result OF wave
in the province of Bauna.. =, has
been great increase Of tiger, nc land
laid waste soon relapsed into jungle.
affording a welcome cover to the tigers.
which became SO daring and numerous
that whole villages have had to bs
abandoned.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

ANYBODY CAN TAKE A DAILY?
We will furnish, in connection wi :,
the SITTER, the Boston Evenl. j..
Record (daily)for $1.9O, or -
New York Daily Press for $2.O!s.
These prices do not, of course, incll .e
the SITTER but is open to all its patron.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-07

A Boston paper suggests that steeples
be constructed with hinges 9, tie base,
so that they can turn the, IN for
painting. Another brill itect-
ural idea would be to | and
tackle suspended over t. that
when a fire broke out dur ,rm-
ance the house could be or
eight feet and permit t y to
exit in all directions. tho
floor should not be drawn anne
time.-Norristown Herald.