davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05

A Little Ialand Whose chief lnaastPy II
the Tying Of Nuptiai Nnots-
The little rocky island of Helfgo-
land. aside from its reputation as a
sea- bathing place, enjoys the addition
al one of being Sort of Gretna Green
for loving couples of the fatherland,
who fondly believe that they can enter
the haven Of married life without the
numerous legal exactions and obstruc-
tions which the strictness Of the inn
perial statutes is apt to throw in their
way. Last year no less than forty
couples from abroad. who had gone
there expressly for the purpose. were
joined i'm wedlock. and up to the end OF
July upward of twenty couples had
followed their example. 1t is. never
theless, n fact that the presentation of
the usunl documents. such as certifi-
Gates of birth, the written consent Of
parents, etc, are as much required as
on the mainland. -
The facility and expeditiousness Of
the procedure chiefly consist in that,
under certain circumstances, the lack
of one OF the necessary papers may be
dispensed with on formal declaration
upon oath, and that single publica-
tion OF the banns on n Sunday is con-
sidcred sufficient as consistent with the
old Frisonian custom. Thus an anx-
ious couple may arrive Saturday night
and leave Monday morning happily
united. Many Of these candidates OF
wedlock take the way to Heligoland to
escape the long legal notice. and per-
haps also the long comments at home
Others, again. choose the island route
to the hymeneal altar in order to save
the expenses of n costly wedding and
to have a wedding and bridal tour all
in one. The expense of having the
knot tied on the island is no. as cheap
= maay people imagine. and oertainly
not less than two hundred marks. one
half Of which sum goes 20 the oficiat--
ing (German) clerymap&epxs.
- = =
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05
"A LITTLE NONSENSE"

Tho chiropodist should take his
aquatic excursions on . tOwboat-
Boston Gazette.
If you want to kindle the fame Of
.ove in a lady's breast you must spark
aer till she is eager for . match.
The song Of the girl and the kero-
-ene can-''Oil away. oil away to the
promised land. ."-Tevrc HaMte Express.
THAT boy Of ours is getting to be
terrible story-teller." said Mr..
Chcritry. "Yes." assented his wife.
..he tells fibs on the slightest prevari-
cation. ."-RscE.
Mrs. Yergcr-'I don't want to
hire you all il you have any male &c
quaintances." Blanche Pearlp0wder
(colored) wait till interdooses
you to de culled barber who am pay
in mo 'tenshuns. You will be charmed
wid his obsequiousness. "-7cTas
Sit1ings.
Mr.. ''Shacob. my boy.
choost try on dis coat for dot shentle-
mans so he sees vat it looks like"
Customer (after Jacob has the coat
on)-..I don't like it. 1saacstein; it
looks Dutchy." Mr.. Isaacstein (earn-
estly)-"My frant, it wasn't de coat
vot looks Dutchy. dot vas Shacob. y
~ Y. Sum
-Groc ocer-''So you've given up
drinking, Uncle Rastus?" Uncle Ras-
tus-"Yes. sab. haint teached q
drap in TO- weeks" Grocer-"You de-
serve a great deal OF credit" Uncle
Rastus-"Yes, sab. That's jest what
I ser, an I was gwine to ask yo'
Mistah Smif. ef yo' cud trus' me to er
ham?'-Lyc.
George" she said. "before We
we're married you were always bring
ing me rings and breast pins and
vinaigrettes and things like that. Why
don't you ever bring me any thing
nowr my DEAR" replied George.
did you ever hear OF . fisherman
feeding bait to . fish he had caught"
-c,cclers' Weekly.
-Doctor-'.Now. you must rise By
daylight, 60 TO tho springs and drink
the waters. eat plain food only. and b
very careful about your diet And,
mind you. one cigar day, no mere; be
particular about that. Ill call 6oII3n
in three days. II you want M
send for me-" On the thi1
doctor returns. well. II
..how are you getting
tient-"very satisfactorily -
Doctor-..You don't lind the regime
hard to adhere to. do youl" Patien.-
1T wouldn't be II I didn't have to
smoke one cigar day. ! never could
bear tobacco. ."->SAce and Leather Re-.
Porter.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05
FULL OF FUN

-Teacher-"What does SEE spellE
Boy Dunno" Teacher - ''Why.
what do I do with my eyes?" Boy
''Squint Tossg People.
Clerk At leading bookstore
"What can I show you. sir?" Intel
lectual-looking Customer-"rve heerd
. good deal about . new book called
Robert L. Smear. Got it?"-CAicaqo
Isibssne.
Tramp Tin . bar-rooml-'"There
was . funny discussion going on In
Pittsburgh when I left It was on .
point Of grammar. and the question
was: Which il correct-let's you and
I take . drink. or let you and take .
drinka" Philadelphian = "Humph!
Easy enough. Let's you and take .
drink" Thanks; don't care II do. "
Philadelphia Record
Miss Maud" he said, II have
como in this evening to ask you Q
question. and have brought ring
with me. Now. before you try it on ]
want to tell you that if you feel in.
clined to be sister to me ] will have
to take it back. as my father objects to
my sisters wearing such large diar
monds." And Maud said she would
keep the ring.-Jewelers' Weekly.
Miss Tipity Fitchet-"Are you
sure you have never loved any other
woman?n Mr.. Goodman-..Quite
sure" Miss Tipity Fitchet-"And no
woman has ever loved youa" Mr..
Goodman-'Never" Miss Tipity
Fitchet-'.Then. sir. must really de-
cline your offer. / can't marry such
an inexperienced man. ."-Rail,ray
NeUs.
-Aggie-'.Yes, he held me on his
lap. my head was on his shoulder, with
one hand he caressed my flowing curls.
his lips met mine, his eyes beamed
love. and Maggie (breathlessly)-
'Well?" Aggie-"And then he said
he said-"This is beautiful weather
for the season, is it not. Miss Agnes!"
--Town Topics.
-'John," said Mrs. Hawkins. a.
they were going homo from church.
''why did the minister call the dove
that brought back a green twig to the
ark hep" II don't know" replied
John; ''unless that it was that il the
dove had been q female she couldn't
have kept her mouth closed iong
enough 70 get the bough to the ark
and there was ill-feeling in that house
hold all the rest Of the day.-Jndge.
Uncle Rastus-"'Skuse mo sab,
but am din not Mistah JOhnsing. whom
I met larst night?" Mr.. Johusing-
'.Da same. sab; an dis am istah
Rastus Whitewash. e&7f@tstal1 noG
How is yo' fee,inA nAsa lClks
oh do ebenin?" Uncl~ 1a0nGReoe;
ly. sab. poo'ly. wud ye' jfnshs d -
Audrkp" Mr.. Johnsing-''Wif plenalEe,
Mistah whitewash>Qe co'ss Islonft
b'lieve in bein' promiscus, S6eN Nahea
chicken-coop asquaintances someti,ncs
turns out to BE- pleasant. sab. ~ T.
Sun.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05
Some Of the Cars Titles.

Tho Car Of Russia IL blessed with
enough titles to satisfy about twenty
ordinary people. This is his full title:
Alexander Alexandrovitch, Emperor
and Autocrat Of All the Russias. Of
Moscow, Of Kiev. Of Vladimir. Of Nov
gorod; Car Of Kazan. Car Of Astra-
khan, Car Of Poland. Car Of Siberia,
Car Of Khersoness-TanridA Car Of
Grusia; Gosudoe (sovereign) Of Pskov,
and Grand Duke Of Smolenski. Lithu-
ania Volynia, Padolia and Finland;
Prince Of Estland. Livlaad. Kurland,
SemiGalia, Samagitia. Beloztol, Kure-
liz. Tver. Yougor, Perm. Via&kA Bull
g.ria and others; Gosudor (sovereign)
and Grand Duke Of No~gorod. Belooe
ersk, Udor. Abdor, KondiA vitebsk.
and ruler Of the entire northern land;
Gosudor (sovereign) Of tho lands Of
Iversk, Kaxtalinsd and Kabardinsk,
and Of tho region Of Armenia; Heir
Gosudor (sovereign) and possessoe of
the Princedoms Of Tcherkassia, Mount
ain and others; Heir-Apparsat Of Nor
way, Duke Of Shlesvig-Holstsin,
Stormalenski. Ditmarsen and Olden-
burg; Gosudor of Turkestan. &C.. stc
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05
hUSkINo TIME.

1nroueh many rift and cleaning crack
The country harm. SO old and black.
BY the autumn breeze 10 famed.
Tho lark-rcd sun in the West drops low.
TO their nests On the raftcrs the swallovs N
And the old barn really seems 70 know
That tho hrsking times at hand
The laddies and lassies that gather now
To husk the corn and scrape and bow
Seem the fairest In the land
The pile OF corn, % 4ipe and sheen.
Is the eoodliest sight that ever was seen.
And the dear old barn is glad. I ween,
That the husking tines at hand.
The corn il husked, the pleasures o'er.
The stlvery m0onshine lies on tho door.
Dispersed 10 the rustic band
Ana whue the old barn may crumhle awag,
Nor ccrn-stooks line IL IN rich array
There's One Who VIII say to Us all some day:
The huskinZ times At hand"
W O. Nioaoss IN Springfield (kass. } R>pso
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05

Fish HSesh fPo0 the Tsak In soup. BrOl
and ETy.

Fish Yroeh ffo0 the Tank In S0up, BTO11
and FHy.
We celebrated . recent anniversary
day by IN eel dinner st famous eel
house. While We were taking of our
shoes at the doorway we could look
through q latticed partition into the
kitchen and see the cook. with mur.
derous- looking knife in hand, making
choice Of his living victims, that werc
looping themselves into bowknots in
tanks Of fresh water. II one wishes no
is always privileged to select his own
eels from the tanks ut eel houses, al
though tho hrst one that could be
caught ought certainly TO answer quite
- we'll.
When We reached the large upper
room square silk cushions, in lieu Of
chairs, were ranged round three sides
Of the room. The fourth side was left
open for tho passing Of the pretty
mattresses to and fro, and ~ = stage
for tho performance OF the two doll
like geishas, who sat demurely in an
outer room awaiting our arrival. Tho
feast began with . soup or stew
Of cells tho bottom Of the bowl
being filed with . delicate white curd.
and the flavor Of the dish being a
mild and evasive - naxseed tea
Broiled cells, skewersd out fatty like .
section Of founder end laid On tap Of
steaming rice. next tempted ~ end.
inspired BY Asrss appetites. - did
skillful and hssois WORT with tho chop
st;cka The plain, 1Bollsa bits aFo
called white eela sxfser them cane
black eels. or sels dippsa h ~ bs1ass
and during broiling. They acquire .
-ich brown tint and . most piquant
dAvor BY this treatment, and the soy,
or bean. with which the japanese al
ways improve their fsh and birds
might be used in the same way In
other countries. japanese soy il the
foundation Of Worcestershire sauce,
and II much better before it il charged
With al the spices and cayenne that
convert it into the English condiment
Omelette. lily bulbs. bamboo sprouts
and dishes Of mysterious composition
passed in review before US. but all the
appetites had been broken ON the
dishes Of white eels and black eels. and
We toyed with the latter courses. SIM
ply taking chopstick practice with the
shreds and lumpe. -0iot>- Democrat.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05
Custom-tlouss inspeetresses.

Passing the Sub Treasury recently !
noticed near the entrance . number Of
young women whose appearance was
90 peculiar that It Immediately ar
rested my attention. II the reader
should ask me What that peculiarly
was l could hardly explain It Per-
haps it might be termed . nouchalance
or free manner that indicated disre-
gard for observation They had cool
audacity which, though not brazen,
was bold enough to face any opposi-
ton, and though could sec at glance
that they were not stage-players. yet It
was evident that they were in public
life, and could be at home even before
. crowd. In . few moments l saw
them step up to the cashier's window.
where each presented = check and
drew the money and then ] learned
that they were the custom-house in
spectresses, Who wero collecting their
months pay. No wonder they had
such nonchalant resolute faces! These
are the women that coolly order . pas
senger into . private room and strip
her sufficiently to reveal fraud. These
are the women who 6nd laces packed
in bustles and diamonds concealed in
tresscs of hair. and need hardly say
that they are the terror OF smugglera
In q recent case they found . passenger
wearing Q petticoat that weighed
twenty-five pounds. being made double
so a. to carry smuggled goods. These
inspectresses are among the most use
full public servants and they have a.
most broken up the once extensive
system Of woman's smuggling which
men could not do. for Shakespeare
says. TO make . sweet lady sad 10 .
sour offense. IN r Cor. Troy Times
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05
Accidentally Discharged.

American Tourist-Ever been In the
States?
Montreal Dude-O, yes; I was en-
gagged in business in the States for .
number Of years.
"Ah! In what line?"
Il was connected with . bank."
If it isn't indelicate. might / ask
you why you severed your connection
with the institution"
Certainly. certainly. I was-er-
um-accidentally discharged"
Il beg pardon. don't quite under
stand"
why, you see. they didn't know I
was loaded and. naturally. went Oh
without warning. Painful and peculiar
species Of accident sir. but they will
happen. they will happen. Join me in
breaking the necks Of . pair Of 4umm's
before you gol"-1szos Sssisga
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05
PERSONAL AND lMPERSONAL.

"A now acquaintance. who lately
offered Edwin Booth . cigarette. got
tho information that the actor was .
man able to hold . pipe.
There Il . shoemaker In Buffalo
who. working 1t his bench. has be-
come . wonderful linguist and bids
fair ono day to rival Elihu Burritt.
Mrs. Cleveland has become an ex-
port lawn tennis player. She il able
to serve q ball with skill and energy.
and her volleying is remarkably Of.
fective.
Tho eight Hazer brothers who
formed a brass band and went through
New York State in log cabin. play
ing for Harrison. are all alive, and
most Of them in Fon du Lac County.
Wis. Their ages range from sixty to
eighty. but they are hale and hearty.
George o. Barnes. the evangelist,
has turned vegetarian and is now using
his eloquence and influence in trying
to dissuade men and women from eat
lug MO0& A0 uOiuo Su0s OCuosou
never intended that the human race
should make food OF the animal king
dom.
Miss Ames. daughter Of the Cow
ernor Of Massachusetts,. is said to look
wonderfully like the Princess Of Wales.
Mrs. Clara Waters, q Boston writer on
art. bears such striking resemblance
to Queen Victoria that when she was
in London few years ago she was
many times mistaken for her Majesty.
The family Of Admiral Dupont
possesses q much priced heirloom in
the form Of a pearl breastpin. This
pin has been worn by the brides Of the
family at their nuptials for over GEN.
tury past. No one but q bride bearing
the Dupont name is allowed to wear
the pin. Good luck is believed to &C
company the wearcr.
Mrs. Greely. the wife Of the Arc
tic hero. is . tall. willowy. graceful
brunette, who is prominent figure in
the social circles of the capital. She
vas Miss Henrietta Nesmith, the
daughter OF an old New York mer-
chant. and married General Greely
when he was q Lieutenant Of cavalry
stationed on the frontier.
"A wealthy farmer of Strasburg
township. Lancaster County. Pa. and
. member of the oldest family in that
county. has carried into effect long
cherished wish of his. He distributed.
all told, GOO acres Of valuable farm
lands among his immediate relatives,
and still has several farms left. The
monetary value Of these properties is
placed as 600. 900.
An American woman Of high 90
cial position thinks that EnglishmeE
q guests are difficult TO understand.
One well-known literary man who paid
. recent visit 1t her house was not At
all difndent in expressing his choice in
food. Among other articles which he
requested was dry toast. Every MORN
ing the cook would prepare plate Of
hot toast. and with equal regularity
he would spread the pieces until they
became stone cold. His explanation
was that he could not appreciate the
American longing for hot bread.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05
Qualified for the Position.

Mayor-You want . position On the
police force. do youp
Applicant-Yes. SORT.
do you think you are perfectly
qualified for the workf"
.1O do. SORT"
DO you think you viii have any
trouble in keeping awake nightsa"
No. sorr. have raised family
Of tin children. ."-Drake's Negative
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05

1sv WsAsvss Psss os.rtsa 80 Ws. o..
paaaas Taat' 0annso.
In South Africa ono Of the forms Of
Boer courtship - IN ''up- citing" OF
all-nisht vigil by the lovers.
':Aunk" said the young man. ex-
plosivsly. '.can we cit up tonight"
Taut Sannie hung her h6ad and
half-cloeed her eyes; but finding that
her little wiles were thrown away. tho
young man staring dxedly at his hat.
she simpered ''yes," and went away TO
fetch tho candles.
Taut' Sannie took two candles out Of
the cupboard and hold them up tri-
umphantly. winking all round the
room.
Hes asked for them. she said.
..Does he want them for his horses
ribbed backa' asked Gregory. new TO
up-country life
NO." said Taut' Sannie. indignant
y. ''we're going :, sit up" and she
walled OF In triumph with the can
dles
Wont you put your feet on my
stovee" said Taut' Sannie.
mo. thank you, aunt" said tho
young man. and both lapsed into quiet
ness.
At last Taut' Sannie. afraid Of going
70 sleep. tapped q strong cup Of coffee
for herself and handed another to her
lover. This visibly revived both.
''How long were you married, cous-
hr"
Ten months. aunt"
''How old was your baby4"
Three days when 1t died"
'.It's very hard when We must give
our husbands and wives to the Lord. J"
said Taut' Sannic.
''She was such q good wife. aunt;
I've known her to break a churn-stick
over q maids head for only letting
dust como on . milk CLOTH"
TAnt Sannie felt . twinge Of jeal-
ousy. She had never broken q churn-
stick on a maids head.
IL hope your wife made . good end.
Did she leave any messages?" asked
Taut' Sannie.
NO; but the night before she died I
was lying at the foot Of the bed; / felt
her foot kick me.
"'Piet.' she said.
".Annie. my heart said !.
".My little baby chat died yester-
dav has been hero and stood over the
wagon-box.' she said.
"'What did it say?' asked.
".It said that il ! died you must
marry . fat woman
"'I will,' said, and went to sleep
again"
%hat was . vision from the Re
dsemer." saiA Taut' Sannie.
Tho yosss- Haa nodded his head
mourufully.
Il suppose tAass Wig you came %
~ 81 Tant 6asn3o
"Yss, aunk aad =. lid / ought to
got married before shearing time. II
is bad II there is no one TO sec after
things then. and the maids waste such
lot of fat"
The next day at dawn. ~ Em passed
through Taut Sannie's bedroom. she
found the Boer woman pulling on her
boots preparatory to climbing into bed.
"Where u Piet Wander Waet?"
"Just gone. said Taut' Sannie. land
I'm going to marry him this day four
weeka lam dead sleepy" she added;
"the stupid thing doesn't know how TO
talk love-talk 1t all. and she climbed
into the four-poster. clothes and all
and dreW tho quilt up to her chin.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05

The action Of two strangers In
Franklin, Ky.. excited the curiosity Of
a rustic named Hendrix. who. digging
In the ground explored by the visit.
ors. discovered . ksg containing q. .70l
u GOLD
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-05

Every day ID little lie and our
whole life + but . day repeated.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1889-06-14
OREGON'S LOW TAXES

With no state debt and a very
law rate of taxation, Oregon offers
exceptional inducements to East
ern people contemplating efnig1a-
ton westward. The property
owners of Portland may consider
themselves remarkably fortunate,
when they learn that in such cit
les as Omaha the rate of taxatbm
is 81 Oh the 800, and in Los;
Angeles, CAL, $2,7O on the 800,
Considering that Portland's asses,
ment is So on the $1OO, and the.
property being assessed at onlv
one-fourth of the value, which wilI
bring the tax down to less than
81 on the 500, persons owning:
property in the city are indeed for
tunate. The state rate of taxation
is low, because there is no debt tu
meet, which is not the case i'm
many less fortunate states. Be-
sides Oregon, according to the Gin
cinnati Commercial; Gazette, the
states so fortunate as to be out OF
debt are Illinois, Wisconsin, Della.
ware, West Virginia and Colorado.
West Virginia is prohibited by
her constitution from going into
debt. California ahd Iowa have,
no debt to settle, though paying
interest on a school fund. Ken
tucky is nearly free from debt.
New York owes $7,0OO4D00. Ohio.
and Minnesota less than $4,000
900, and New. Jersey and Kansas:
less than $2.GOO,OoU Virginia is;
the most heavily burdened, having.
a funded debt of over $23, ,QOO,O ,OQOp
and an unfunded debt of over
$S,O00,00O. Massachusetts car
ries the next heaviest debt, ovcr
$31, 100000. Next comes Tenne~
see, $17,00o>OOO; Pennsylvania,
100000; North Carolina, $13,~
100000; louisiana, $4,000, ,OO0,,
and Maryland, $11, 1,Oo0,Oo0 The
total Indebtedness of all the States
is $220.O0O.0O0, which. is less than
1 per cent. Of their aggregate tax-
able property. The rate. Of taxae.
ton is heaviest in Nevada, Nebras@
ka and Louisiana. And, though
Massachusetts stands secondi In
the size of her debt, she has thee
lowest rate Of taxation in the,
Union--less tan IL cents per $100.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1889-06-14
THE FARMER FEEDETH ALL.

My lord rides through his palace gate
My lady sweeps along i'll state, .-
The sage thinks long on many thing,
And the maiden muses. ON marrying
The minstrel harpeth merrily,
The sailor ploughs the foaming sea,
The huntsman kills the good red deer,
And the soldier wars without fear;
But fall to each whate'er befall,
The farmer he must feed them all.
- Smith hammereth cheerily the sword,
Priest breaches pure and holy word,
Dame Alice worketh broidery we'll,
Clerk Richard tales of love can tell,
The tapwife sells her foaming beer,
Dan Fisher fisheth in the mere
And courtiers ruf13e, strut and shine.
While pages bring the Gascon wine;
Bnt fall to each whate'er befall,
the farmer he must feed them all.
Man builds his castles fair and high,
Whatever river runneth by;
Great cities rise in every land.
Great churches show the builders hand,
Great arches, monuments, and towers,
Fair palaces and pleasing bowers,
Great work is done, bet here and there,
And we'll map worketh everywhere.
But work or rest. whate'er befal1,
The farmer be must feed chem all.
Charles G. Leland
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1889-06-14
| OR I SAL s!
a DESIRABLE fAhR

Situated two miles above Mehama, Ma
rion county, Or, and three miles from the
line of the Oregon Pacific railroad.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1889-06-14
AN ECONOMICAL MILLIONAIRE.

John l. Blair of Blairstown, N,
j., is reputed to be worth $5O,OOo,-
900, yet such is his strong Sense OF
merely holding his wealth in trust
for the benefit of his fellow men
that he spends upon himself less
almost than is paid to his humblest
workman. When Mr.. Blair stops
at the hotel, ifhe intends to stay
over night, he usually asks for a
small inside room on the parlor
floor. If it is in the winter and
too cold to sit without fire, he
sits in the public lobby. If he in
tends to leave before midnight, he
does not take a room at all, but
occupies the public room down
stairs, and if he wishes to change
his shirt, he slips into the little
washroom behind the Offices. 81
never offer OR refuse,'' he said jok-
ingly to a gentlemen who offered
him a clgar.-Pittsburg CONNER
cial.