The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-11-13

The Chicago Times, speaking al the i'm
Intercollegiate convention i'm New York tai
revise the rules at American fOOt-h0l1,c x-
presses the hope that thu ambulance, n
universal accessory tn the game will bc dis
placed by strctclsers properly aanned and
concealed from view until they are need
cd. The presence of tine ambulance. IL IL
argued. has u dispiriting influence upon
the spectators. especially upon the friends
of those who arr. picked mp and removed
i'm the vehicle. But il is an open qucs-
ton whether tho sudden introduction OF u
stretchcr into the game and the rapidity
with which the l~ife-saving corps load tine
REMAINS onto il and then hustle of i'm
plain sight Of everybody. will not occasion
the friends and acquaintanccs of the re-
mains more poignant anguish than the
operations of the more ~ss.t'ate, sober and
cumbersome eqnipagc of football
history. The ambulance
the immediate carr and comforts
of the hospital. The plain. bald strctcher
on the contrary brings tn mind the image
of sudden death follows,d 10y "a speedy inn
tcrincnt without coffin. minister ar any
of the convenience of IL iirst-class mod
crn funeral. In the interests of the spec
tators. therefore. Let ,s hope that the mo
ton of the Times will not prevail. The
intercollegiate association should not
only retain the ambulance and its accom-
panying surgeon. hut should 10y all means
incorporate in its revised rules one re-
qpiiring the attendance of u as
an accessory tn the surgeon. Humanity
insists that the wotntlss. and dying ON the
field of foot-ball. should have all the com
forts and consultations afforded by religion.
as well as all the arnica. splints, brandy,
saws. knives and lancets which mcdica
science may deem proper to prescribe.
Owing partly tn their expense. partly to
the climate and partly to the fact that
they are of n sullen disposition and sell
dom become attached to- their owners ex-
ccpt 10y IA string, monkeys have not been
adopted very generally as pets i'm the
households OF America. IL would seem
that the monkey ought tn he fully as intel
ligent as the dog. and from the peculiari-
ties of his physical contour even more
lively, amusing and jocose; but he isn't.
Mr.. Peter Havens of Camden. n. j.. how
ever, championcd the cause of the mon-
key and argued daily with his ~nciRhbors
that all the Impressions they had formed
about the monkey to his detriment had
their origin i'm popular ignorance and
fore, purchased n monkey-a young mon
kcy-and proceeded to instruct him To bc
"a faithful, playful and altogether conn
panioiablc animal. as tit for the society
of man in every respect as the noblest and
most intelligent newfoundland dog. The
monkey made fair progress. and Mr..
Havcns felt a just degree OF
pride in showing him oil and thus
rcftitibg tho iinti-fnonkcy arguments OF
his friends and ~nciyhbor~. The monkc
had the freedom Of the house. climbing
onto the beds and bureaus with a spirit
and agility which appealed to his owners
SENSE of hnnior 80 constantly and so
acutcly that peace and good VIII to all
men and monkeys rcigucsi supreme in
Mr.. Havcns' genial breast. The neigh
bors, therefore. were all the more sur
prisch when rushing into the house last
Thursday, in response tn shricks of pain,
they found that the monkey had taken
N revolver from n bureau drawer and de-
l~ibcrately shot MIR. Ravens, the bullet
lodging in his jaw. Mr.. Ravens cndeav-
ored tn defend the monkey 10y saying that
once, i'm order tn see the animal jump, he
had snapped the revolver at him, the
weapon then being unloadcd. Tho spirit
Of imitativcness. argued Mr.. Havens. had
prompted the monkey, upon discovering
the revolver, to snap il at him. in order
that he, the monkey might have the priv
ilege of seeing him, Mr.. Ravens. jump i'm
like manner. At this point i'm the agree
ment IL was noticed that the monkey
with every manifestation of delight. was
drawing another bead on his owner,
whcreupon Mr.. Ravens yelled in terror,
and, in spite of his possible dying con-
dition then and there cursed his monkey
and all his tribe forever.