Milford chronicle. [volume] (Milford, Del.) 1878-1974, 1889-05-03

, of that cherished hat. A sO-year-old horse
ambitionless as a mummy, landed him on hi
skull ina somewhat odorous pool-which quit
finished the hat, and came very near finish
ing Mr.. jerks With these setbaclSs, the two
first named ambitions oozed out of him, but
craftsmanship was more persistently wooed
/ 1t is Of record that at the end Of the second
week he had achieved three holes in tomato
can set on rock ten feet from the door, and
had crippled hut one horse-which we all
thought encouraging.
Knowing this to be a desperate region,
Mr.. jerks had come fully heeled. He had
procured his tailor to erect two hip pockets
on the dome of those English trousers, and in
each Of these he carried a beautifully nickel
plated, pearl handled pistolette of % denom-
nation. The muzzles Of these very danger
Gus weapons slipped into the chambers Of one
Of our guns asslick as cartridges Mr. jerks,
however, was proud of his armament, and
got his nose fearfully out Of joint when Cuate
-one Of the Mexican punchers-tried to buy
them to give to his girl for earrings. As
Cuate has territorial reputation, however,
and shoots the heads OFF of chickens as he
gallOps past, Mr.. jerks wisely held his horses,
and let the insult rankle exclusively in his
own breast-if such a thing existed in the two
inches between his shirt front and the back
of his coat.
"By a coincidence Mr. jerks struck the
territory in the time Of the fall shearing.
Our round up was over, and as we had moth
| ing particular to do we went to see Amado
Chaves-a deuced good fellow, If he Is a sheep
man-and took jerks along with us to the
shearing in San Miguel We had to halt sew
eral times on the road to pick him up and re-
place him on the gentle old mule he had sub
stituted for any further equine risks.
Here Mr.. jerks intermittent intellect
grew inhamed over the report that two Of
the shepherds had seen a bear that afternoon
and he forthwith anointed his artillery with
hair oil and with great care. Seeing the
which, Cuate and the Kid erected a perpen-
dicular job on him, to witt Taking Boracho,
the biggest sheep dog, they swathed him in
buffalo robe secretly; and in the dead hour Of
night, taking the dog out among the cedars,
they raised yell of 'Beari Bearr In three
seconds Mr.. jerks was abroad, an animated
flag Of truce as to his apparel, but in heart
thirsting for gore. In each hand he clinched
one of his mosquito guns, which kept sput-
tering at every jump. 1t sounded like an old
fashioned corn popping.
sat this opportune juncture the Kid, hid
den In the bushes, let 90 his hold Of Borracho's
ear and gave that buffalo robed canine a
savage kick Poor Borracho fed down the
canyon with terrific howlings, and Mr.. jerks
sailed four feet into the air, shrieking, Bah
Jovei hit him! / hit himp and rushed into
the house to fill his pill boxes with fourteen
more homeopathic pellets Further sleep
that night was out Of the question. Mr..
jerks was on rampage up and down the
canyon looking for the carcass Of his bear
The possibility that the bear might not have
succumbed to his ponderous missiles never |
entered his head. As for the rest of us we |
were too interested to sleep. Meantime the |
Kid had caught and pacifed Borracho and |
removed his stage toggery. Along toward |
sun up Mr., jerks limped into the house and |
fell exhausted upon his bunk. Then Cuate |
sailed forth, killed a sheep in the corral and |
caught its blood in bucket. The Kid took
the bucket and a ten mile tramp up the
scattering clotted gore with prod-
gality, and pausing, whenever he came to
muddy place, to make bear tracks with his
baro palm.
"At 10 O'Clock in the morning Mr. jerks
awOke, and having insinuated himself into his
reluctant outer ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS in the
nights mad chase-and without waiting for
breakfast, he ambled out with cooked poplet
in either gloved fist. OF course he couldn't
have found the trail if there had been sign
boards at every rod; but Cuate and the Kid
to 60 with him-a kindness for
which he was ready to condone their past ir-
Late that evening the trailing
party returned Mr.. jerks was wild with
excitement, though nearly dead with fatigue.
His blonde shoes were cut to pieces on the
harp rocks, his kids were actually soaked
With 'pehspiwation, and his face was war
nap Of scratches. The boys had been careful
% let every available twig snap back against
lis frontispiece. But weary and wounded as
le was he couldn't sleep, and for hours piped
bah JovesP and fought his battles over.
Deadf OF course hesdeadl We found moren
! bushel of blud, ye know. Won't my wela-
ives be pawalyzed when they know that
Tiled a gwizzly beah biggern a cowP
las luck would have it one of the shep-
erds on tho other side of the mesa did run
cross bear that day, and translated it with
is venerable Spencer. Having skinned the
areas and hidden the hide safely, he came
yer to the camp in the middle Of the night
o tell us about it. This was fairly providen-
ial. Mr.. jerks was notified next morning,
nd gave the guileless flock protector five
ollar bill to pilot him to the fatal spot. It
'as another ten mile tramp, and when Mr..
enks got there and found that some beastly
ad, don't ye know, had gone and skinned his
ear it was little too much for endurance.
We saw small blue cloud hanging over the
lesa that noon and guessed the reason. 1t
'as Mr.. jerks first and last bear. A few
avs later came the snake episode, which reft
i'm from our midst. c
Ever heard of him againl Yes, Indirect
,. Some time afterward friend Of mine in
le east sent me marked copy Of The Cohoes
larion. think have the paragraph some
here" a
Hank fshed out a worn sheepskin wallet a
nd handed me from it tattered clipping
read thus:
Our esteemed fellow townsman. Mr.. st. o
laire Fitz-Clarence jerks, whose intrepid
reer as manager Of the Rio Tonic Cattle :
'mpany among the murderous cowboys of .
ew Mexico has excited the mbounded ad-
ration Of The Clarion's numerous readers, u
lis, in graphic style, in this issue, of the
roic manner in which, single handed and &
one, he attacked and slew a gigantic bear. -,
Q regret exceedingly that some unprin- u
pied vandal stole the skin from Mr.. jerks. -.
'hoes feels justly proud Of her distinguished Il
a."
How much Of your story's true, Hankr' I al
ked. te
Every word Of it-true as gospel said a
, laying his saddle down for a pillow and y
rolling his blankets "If you think I'm Of
evaricating, just publish that once in your "
paper and send it to jerks, and see if you oil
MT get high old libel suit on your hands, al
Charles F. Lummis in Frank Leslie's l
FORTUNES FAVORITE. a. q
10