Morning journal and courier., 1889-04-17
WEIGHED.

Fish are not weighed in their own scales, simply because fish scales not built that weigh.-Puck. A cyclone travelled twenty miles, through Arkansas the other day without doing fur ther damage than blowing down two negro cabins and upsetting 8 haystsck. Has the cyclone had it dayP'-Detroit Free Press. "What has become of your Browning so- ciety, Miss Wabashs' asked a New York gentleman of Chicago girl. \ "Oh, Browning is in the soup, and we are going for Goethe ow."-New York Sun. ! Mrs. Harrison-My dear, the 1st of May is | approaching; house cleaning must begin. Would not better order the carpets in the business end of the White House taken upa Bepjamin-The carpets! Bless me, there | are none. Sixty thousand office seekers have ! saved you the trouble.-St. Paul Pioneer Press.
 Insurance Oficer-''I understand that Mir. Richman hasn't cent of insurance on his life. Why don't you go for him2" Agent "Won't do. He was born lucky and makes l money out of everything he touches. If we should insure Richman to-day, ten chances to one he'd die tomorrow. hiladelphia Record.
 Dr. Ebbonie-"Dat chile O yours am i lookin' poo'ly, Mrs. Yallerby. Whats he done gon an swallowed dis timea" Mrs. 1 Yallerby-s'A bit ob lead pencil, docto'." {"
 
 ma'am, am an erasive remedy. I recom- mend him ter chew piece ob Injy-rubber half an hour before each al."-Judge. One Man Who Knows.-Reporter-" I want to obtain full list of the ships in the l United States navy, with their armament, | and detailed report of the number of sea- | coast Notifications with the present condi- | the guns they mount" Naval officer-"My | friend, if you are looking for any one man | who can give you all the information you want in that line, you will have to go to Germany and hunt up Bismarck. Chicago | Tribune.
 ! How to "Hustle. e."-Housekeeper Gin Kan- \ sas City)-sfI don't want nothin'." Peddler CT am not anxious to sell only stopped | to remark that Chicago, where I've been ped | dlin' can't hold a candle to Kansas City" | "Don't believe it kin." ssNo, indeed, mum; Chicago is goin' to the dogs fast. People there are awful poor, while In Kansas City I find everybody is just rollin' in wealth and l real estates boomin'. Fast trains from Kansas City to New York won't stop at Chi | cago in another year" sWhat have you got to sellF' "Soap; something new. Only $1 g cake" "Ill take two."-New York Weekly.
 "It grieves me to give you pain, Mir. Fer | guson, but fear it can never be. Try, try to forget me-" "Tll try, Miss Laura" re- piled the young man, in a melancholy, hope less way. Absorbed in the vortex of busi- ness, as I shall be henceforth, may be able to still the clamor of my aching heart, and bsnish your sweet image from my mind. , "Then you contemplate going into businesss' "I have made arrangements" he said in g hollow voice, "to open large retail confec- tionery store.' ooh, George!" exclaimed the beautiful girl wildly, as she flung her self into his arms, ''the sight of your suffer ing is more than can bear. I am yours!"- Chicago Tribune.
 "No, George, don't ask papa this evening Wait until after Lent"
 I can't wait, dearest. I want to have i over with"
 l 'You must wait. have cost him hardly a cent since Lent began, and I never saw him so fond of me. Wait until I strike hi bank account after Lent is over."-Chicagt Herald.
 "That is very wise fellow" remarked the railway ticket agent.
 (Which fellowg" asked bystander.
 ''That man who just took passage fo Oklahoma"
 stAnd why is he so much wiser than hif fellews?"
 "He bought round trip ticket" explain ed the agent.-Chicago Globe.