The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-09
BRIGHT BITS

THERE are few society bellies who have not a
record or conquests made with the assistance
OF smokeless powder. There is nothing new
under the sun. - Washington CAPITAL.
A Non sEQUITER.-Proud Mother-O, John,
the baby can walk
Cruel Father-Good! He can walk the floor
with himself at night, then.-Detrou NeUs.
SOME of the daily papers are commenting on
the al pearance in active life of lady burglars.
This IS no novelty. however. Only few years
ago almost every lady you met regularly held
up train. Baltimore american.
WHILE everything else has taken a step fer
ward in the last decade, the manner of putting
up stove remains the same. The tools are
those used fifty years ago-an ak, crowbar.
hundred cuss words and a crushed foot.-Ds-
trott Free Press
REAssuRNG.- (angrly)-Confound your
awk"ardnessl You've split half that soup
down my back.
Waiter at restaurant (hsartily)-Don't mind
it, sir. III bring some more aless you, there's
plenty OF soup.-ChicGgo Tribune.
Mrs. SADFAcE TO Tommy, who had stolen
jar OF preserves)-My boy, l know you are
sorry. see it in your face.
Tommy (meditativelyl-Yes mamma, / am.
There was bigger jar on the shelf that |
couldn't roach. Philadelphia Inquirer.
YOUNG SNIFKINs passed his sister the paper,
remsrking: Here's something that may in
terest you SO long as you have determined to
ride bicycle"
what is it!''
'The fall fashions. - Washington Capital
AN INrERRuPT1oN.-'S Sixteen years ago, my
friends. vocferated tAe fiery socialist orator.
with flashing eye and cleaning nose, 81 left
England aud came TO this country
Thank the Lordr' exclaimed devout En-
glishman in the audience with much ieeling.-
Chicago Tribune.
MoCRAcKLE Didn't you tell me that Maddox
belonged to the better element of society2
McCorkle--Yes
We'll I've seen him coming out of gambling
places several times "
Yes; he goes there to bet That's what I
said. "-Neto York Sun.
YOUNG LADY dn great storel-Let me see n
bonnet suitable for an old lady
Substitution your mother?
Young Lady-No; for myself. i don't expect
to get the change from my purchase until I'm
old enough to be grandmother SO l shall he
prepared-Neto York Herald.
babies?
Mamma-.of course, child of course. Run
out now and play
Be ME lin brown study)-Then why is it,
mamma, that poor people buy more of 'em than
anybody else?-Chicogo Tribune.
EASY AS Sw1MMIg'. -Bayville visitor-I would
like to get you to teach me to sail boat
Boatman--Sal boat? Why, it's as Easy as
swimmin'. jest grasp the main sheet with one
hand an the tiler with the other, an if a flaw
strikes, ease up or bring or to, an loose the
halyards; but Look out for the gait and boom
or the hull thing'll be in the water an WI be
upset sure. Jump right in an try it; but, re-
member, whatever ye do, don't jioe-Neu
York Weekly
SUDDEN CHANGE OF SUBJECT.-Mr Smallpurse
(who has ca efuliy figured up the cost Of two
theater tickets and the street-car fare DIDO you
enjoy the drama, Miss Gehall9
Miss Gehall-O, very much; but I become en-.
tirely worn out every time go. You see, the
play is seldom over before haf-past ten, and
then it takes fully an hour to get supper at
'Dels, and after that comes the long ride
home, and the hackmen do poke so, you know
Mr.. SmalpurSe-Um-er-Wh do you think
of Browning?-Neto York Weekly