davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1889-09-26
No. e
" hat u Woman Can DO.

She can come to conclusion with
out the slightest trouble of reasoning
on it, and no sane man Can do that.
Six of them can talk at once and get
along first rate, and no two men can do
that.
She can safely stick fifty pins in her
dress while he is getting one under his
thumb nail.
She IS cool rs a cucumber in half
dozen light dresses and skirts, while a
man will sweat and fume and growl in
one loose shirt.
She Can talk as sweet as peaches and
cream to the woman she hates, while
two men would be punching each 9TH
er's head before they had exchanged ten
words.
She can throw stone with q curve
that would be fortune to baseball
pitcher.
She can say "No' IN such low
voice that it means eyes"
She can sharpen a lead pencil if you
give her plenty of time and plenty Of
pencils.
She can dance all night in a pair of
shoes two sizes too small tor her and
enjoy every minute of the tune.
She can appreciate kiss from her
husband seventy years after the mar
riage ceremony is performed.
She can 60 to church and afterward
tell you what every woman in the con-
gregation had on, and in some rare in
stances can give you some faint idea of
what the text was.
She can walk half the night with a
colicky baby in her arms without once
expressing the desire Of numbering the
infant.
She can do more in minute than a
man can DO in IN hour, and do 1t better.
She can drive man crazy in twenty
four hours and then bring HIM to par.
adise in two seconds by simply tickling
him under the chin, and there does not
live that mortal son Of Adams misery
who can do it.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1889-09-26
Alhansown Frederick County, Maryland Thursday September 26 1885,
$elttt 4pottrp,
SHE CAUGHT ON.

I woocd her long as lovers do,
With sigh and verse and billet,
Told how my life would be a blank,
Without her love to fill it.
I told her how my throbbing heart
Was aching fit to crack it
She Uttered when l pressed her hand,
And cried, "Oh, cheese the racket" !"
took her oft to cat ice cream,
fed her tons'of candy,
And tho't at last I'd touched her heart,
When she said, "You're dandy!'
But when l tried to speak Of love,
How l was almost crazy,
She gaily slapped me with her glove,
And warblcd, you're daisy"
changed my tactics then, and told
OF houses, bonds and land;
OF how in gold my father rolled,
With servants at command.
told her she should be queen,
And move among the ton,
Her head sank gently on my breast,
She faltered, Il catch on
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1889-09-26
A LOVERS QUARREL.

Undoubtedly, Captain Duncan, it
seems a trihe to you, but since that
means that l can no longer feel toward
you as I have felt, that means also that
you canno. care much for my good opin.
ion
But, Miss Chapman, l.
1T is really of no use to discuss the
matter.
Pardon me, but there is use in dis =
cussng it. That will at least give ME
a chance to see how far you are deter
mined to carry your lnWstice?'
MY injustice !?
That was what | said
'Thcn it is your intention to be i'm
pertinent.
Nonsense! Come, now, Kate, doesn t
it strike you that we have gone fast
and far enough on this road? For my
part, | am sure that do not find quar-
rellng with anybody very entertaining
and least of all quarrelIng with you
you speak as if We were two chll,
dren who had fallen into \ petty brojl.
Not quite, but We have come uncom
Portable near it,
! am sure it is not my fault.
1T is nobody's fault, Kate, and am
anxious that 1t does not prove to be
anyboiy's misfortune.
But why do you persist in dong
what l have asked you not to?'
Am | trying to please myself in tax
ing Miss DennlSon to the shore:
You are certainly not trying to please
me.
You would be better pleased then if
l broke my promise to her aunt, who is
one of my mothers Oldest friends, and
did not take her after have agreed to.
But you need not hlve pro nisel.'
What las that to DO with the ques-
ton now? If | have promised | must
fulfill my engagement, must not p
'You seem to think so.
4 seem to think so. Good heavens,
Kate, you are evidently trying to show
me that, contrary to my firm belief,
you can be one Of the most agyrayating
women alive
1T Is we'll to learn in time.
In time p
Yes, while you can yet draw b'ck.
And l have given you light to talk
like that =
oh, no. | Do not require a right.
assure you that when | make up my
mind to be aisagreeable do not wait
for any excuse
Then you are only giving me an ex-
hibiton of histrionic talent. | ain glad
of it, l am sure you do it we'll, but am
tco fond Of you to enjoy it.
50 you think AN 'c'inS an as
thoroughly in earnest as | ever was in
my life.
Bat you cannot be so foolish as to
insist that | should break my eng gage
ment to drive Miss D,nnisol to thA
shore. It is, af,e; all, no great mltter,
we shall be back in Az holr.
"A great many things may happen
in in hour. | know how rapidly you
can get head
Kate
How do you know that in the course
Of an hour You my not bee ONE englg
ed to this Miss Dennison! | am sure
You did to me in half that time.
Perhaps she will not be so easily
persuaded is You were.
Cap ain Duncan !
'Well?'
'And you pretend to call yourself IL
,,rntI"n,n. Ve,y we'll, sir, il "as ea
-Ily persuaded to become engaged to one
Hho is capable Of tyliling me with 1t
have at ly1ot the spirit to zee myself
troati t Z -. git ,,1yn. llI,e a. 1lchiy
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1889-09-26

That Is the advantage that belongs
to her as an antique girl.
Now, really, Kate, that is too bad
But l am sure she ls old enough, so
that one may be excused for not pre-
tending that she is in the first blush of
youth.
1t is evidently of no use to talk to
you. I see that may as we'll go; |
assure you that | bear no malice
Bear no malice I should like to
know why you should | d. bear
malice
so l had Inferred
Haven't cause 2
One never has cause for malice
4 ami don care; I think you are
too cruel for anything
There, Kate, if you are going to
cry
I am not going to--to-to cr-y'
If have said anything that ofends
you
'Yon have broken my-y-y hea-artF
Come, come, Kate, you know | did
not really mean anything. Don't cry,
for heavens sake. | can stand that.
you don't lov.ove me any more, and
you never did /
AT least it was not l that broke our
engagement
You know you wanted it broken
You certainly fell in with my wishes
easily
"A g,rl with any pride would do as I
did,
Very likely
And you know I didn't begin it,,
either; only didn't like you going of
with that horrid Dennison girl, and |
couldn't help remembering the time
we went to the shore, and you said
you-'
yes, and you said that you
And | was in earnest and you We're
only amusing yourself. Now l shall
never know how many girls you will
say the same thing top
That will be dreadful. III tell you
what will agree to do, Kate. III let
you know whenever I say the same
thing to another girl. have learned
my lesson this tim ). thank you !
And so have |.
Then we are quits, and both of us
are free.
You wont be long. You will be en-
gagged to Miss Dennison before you get
back from the drive to tile shore
III bet you pair Of gloves that |
am not.
AS if I could bet on such thing.
why not p
4 am too truly concerned for your
happiness to feel like making jest of
it.
And yet you could make it the sub.
ject Of caprice
"A caprice? !?
Yes; what else Was your objection
to my taking Miss Dennison to drive?
You knew that you could trust me, and
that | did not care rap for the girl,
and yet you could break our engage
ment on so Almsy pretext as that
But, Horace
But, Kate.
Really don't you want to go with
Miss Dennison /?
4 do not see that you have any long
er the right to ask me that question,
but | do not mind saying that in the
beginning did not in the least care
about going with Miss Dannison. Now
that | am no longer engaged the thing
is, of course, different.
Horace, am so sorry that | was so
horrid.'
80 ann l..
Wont You forgive ne ?
Really, Miss Caapmln, it does not
seem worth while to-there, there,
Kate don't begin to cry again. can t
stand any more. am no brute, and
I'll d, anything you want me to
Il only want you too - lov -ove -
owe m-e.'
[Tne continuation of the conversation
consists so largely in phone'lc' and EN-
braces, tn 1t it is i'm possible to repre-
sent it bY the use of ordinary type
Probably tho most Will, a~ TIE men
in Ills country are tn young fathers
who have bltu ble>oeI w!lh TWAS.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1889-09-26

A gentleman in T,rboro has worn
wig twenty years, and his wife don't
know it. That's tn, kind of wife, to
have. SAe evidently don't pull hair
not she
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1889-09-26

We 10 ice good many persons are
.nga ,ed IN the business Of holding down
store boxes. 1t may be legitimate
occupation, but the income is not large.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1889-09-26
;,NlISBU9G RAILROAD.
d5OH0CACY VALLEY Ri|Lhk0d.

<Ew TINE TABLE.-On an ,ftrr Wed
na4s!ay Augu,t 29nd, 1887, trains on the Mo-
y<u,cy Valley Rulroad will run as follows :
Leayc Mechanicstown
Z A. VI. II a. VI. G55 L. Nj.
Leave Catoc,in Furn ces,
S25 4. NJ. 3 l5 p. NJ.
Tickets for saA at Mcc..anicstcwn by Mr..
frank HcssOn.
Local Freight will be delivered on all
tr,lnS.
( $. Sch!ey, Pres. l., r. Wacschr, Sunt
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25
Paraguay's Two Staples.

The two staples of Paraguay are
maudioca and yerba mate The former
is root resembling the yam, from which
il produced the tapioca of commerce.
Life and death are blended IN the plant,
every part of which is useful if properly
treated; and it is as essential to the do
nestle economy of Paraguay and Brazil
as rice to China and potatoes to Ireland.
1t is served at every meal In some shape,
as bread is with Nd; and made into as
many forms offood as our flour. The
plant resembles the tomato. The stalks
and leaves are excellent fodder for cat
tie, and have medicinal properties when
dried. When eaten raw, the root is a
deadly poison. Thirty-fiv drops of it
were Administered not long ago to man
condemned to death, and he died after
five minutes of dreadful agony. The
poison is mysteriously removed by the
application of heat; and when boiled or
baked, the root is as wholesome and
as palatable as a sweet potato. When
cooked, it is almost pure starch, and con-
tains ninety five per cent. OF nutritious
properties. The roots are first boiled,
and then are reduced to meal by being
pounded in wooden mortars made of the
log of the epachc tree.
The yerba mate or Iesuit's tea, as it
used to be called, grows wild in the for
ests as plentifully as the beech or the
maple with us, but is much improved by
cultivation in the yerbales or tea farms.
In spring the young leaves are stripped
from the branches, dried before fire,
and then packed in bales for local sale
or export. Like the Chinese or japanese
teas, the quality and favor largely depend
upon the manner in which the mate leaves
are handled but to the novice it has a
bitter and disagreeable taste.-Ame' ieah
4Aagastae.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25
Fighting a Bear and Three Cubs.

1.-THE morning l met the BEARS" said
Spruce Williams (of White Camp,
w. Na), ~ started down the creek
to my corn-feld, about a quarter
of mile below the house. l took
nothing with me, except big hickory
stick, not expecting to see anything at
that late hour in the morning. / had
entered the field, but had not passed a
dozen corn shocks before heard a loud
sport and grunt of some animals,
which l instantly recognized as bears,
not twenty feet away. While was
looking around for the bears half
grown cub ran out of a shock of fodder
close to my side. Without stopping to
think l ran up to the cub and hit it
welt with the club. The bear tumbled
over on its back and began to cry and
whine. Before l could hit it again the
old she-bear came tearing up, followed
by the other two cubs, and then | had
my hands full. There was more fight in
those three bears than / ever saw before.
They were in dead earnest from the
start, and gave me no chance to back
out or run off. The old bear came up,
and when within few feet of me she
reared herself on her two hind feet and
tried to catch me in her arms. l gave
her a welt over the nose which settled
her back on all tours for second but
before could hit her again one of the
cussed cubs had slipped up behind me
and gave me a fearful rip with its sharp
claws on the right leg. The claws tore
my trousers and hide into ribbons and
penetrated the flesh almost half an inch.
Then it was hot work. All three came
at me at once. l leveled one of the
small ones, but got ripper from behind
again, and just then the old She bear
got close enough to strike me with her
claws. She raked me, as you see, from
my chest clear down to my waist, and
would probably have killed me then
and there if had not been lucky enough
to punch her in one of her eyes. The
blow must have hurt terribly, for she
laid down and rolled and whined, but l
did not have chance to finish her be-
fore the two biggest cubs came at ne
from both sides. | rained blows on their
heads and bodies, but didn't succeed in
getting in real good one before they
had about torn my hide and clothes into
~ibbons.
"Just at this time my foot struck a
stone, which | saw was big boulder
weighing about eight or ten pounds. l
dropped the stick and picked up the
rock in second, and let the big one
have it between the eyes. That settled
her. / now had more time to devote to
the cubs, and although | was nj ghty
sore, and bleeding from dozens of
wounds succeeded in finishing them.
After the fight dragged myself to the
creek and jumped in. The cool water
revived me somewhat, and finally got
out and managed to get to the house,
when the old woman put me to bed and
went to work 10 stick me together again.
am getting along well enough, | sup
pose, but you'll never catch Old Spruce
while he lives in these mountains going
out again very far without gun or some
other weapon. y Cincinnati Enquirer.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25
A Rattlesnake DETERMINATION.

Isaac Davis, of Hague, who in four
years has killed upward of fourteen
hundred rattlesnakes, and who last fall
at the county fairs in this vicinity was
the fist to handle rattlesnakes in public
exhibitions, recently killed four monster
rattlesnakes near Sabbath Day Point.
Last year he killed upward of four hun
bred, for which he has been paid a
bounty of twenty-five cents per snake.
He makes rattlesnake- hunting, catch
ing, and exhibiting his whole business,
and is paid 500 month during the sea-
son by property owners about Hague for
killing snakes in aid of their extermina-
ton. He is believed to be the only man
in the world following this occupation.
He is an intelligent man, fond of read
ing, of quiet demeanor and gentle dis
position. His friends apprehend that
he will meet his death some day in
handling these reptiles, but the business
seems to have fascination outside of
the remuneration it affords him. He
always carries with him a remedy in case
he should be bitten, but does not feel
any special confidence in its efficacy.
He is man of forty-fve, and killed his
first snake before he was six years old,
but never went into regular snake hunt
ing until four years ago. His father be-
fore him was the famous snake hunter,
mint" Davis, who used to kill them for
the oil to sell to druggists. The old
man is said to have been bitten several
times by snakes and to have cured him
self by use of 'rattlesnake weed" 1t
used to be standing joke about the
lake that when a rattlesnake bit old
"Mlnt" Davis it was the snake that was
poisoned to death. The old man Ger
tainly seemed to have no more fear of a
rattlesnake than child had of kitten.
Albany (M ~ Journal
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25
Alphabeticai Fare.

"Have you got anything here begin
ming with * that's good to eatl" in
quired new customer at wel-kuown
local delicacy market last Tuesday.
"How will picked kidneys answerl"
replied the clerk, after a moments
thought.
First rate. Give me dozen cans.
The kittens life is saved" exclaimed
the strange patron with enthusiasm. ~
told my wife," he continued, ''that if l
failed to send home a kangaroo, dead or
alive, before 2 O'clock, l should expect
to find the kitten served up for supper
in the latest Chinese style. But your
happy thought saves her. You see We
all got tired of eating the same things
day after day, and so last month we
agreed that during this month we would
eat up Cor rather DOWN the alphabet,
taking one letter day, with bread,
potatoes, tea, and coffee thrown in as
staples So ON the list we inaugurated
the dietary system with bill of fare
consisting of apples in many forms,
aprlcots picked, asparagus, almonds and
the staples. The next days menu was
beef, beets, beans, biscuits, buttermilk,
bacon and bonbons. The following day
we Toasted on chicken, Goldfish balls,
clans, celery, cucumhers (I0 cents each),
crabs, cheese, cake, crackers, crullers,
carrots, canned currants, canned cherries
citrons, cider, catsup and canfW. And
it has gone on. The fifth day would
have been fast day had it not been for
eggs, but we made an Easter of it.
Yesterday we dined, breakfasted and
supped chiefly on jellies. To. day your
kidney suggestion saves us from star
walton, while tomorrow we will grow
fat on liver, lamb, lobster, lettuce, etc.
A queer thing about our new food de-
parture is the number of things it has led
MS to put in our mouths which we never
thought of before. "--B40alo Express.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25

slivered, outlive the galsi Oh, how many tneru
have been who, postponing the religion OF
Jesus Christ, have plunged INTO mistakes they
nevercouldcorrect although they lived eighty
years after and like serpents crushed under
cart wheels, dragging their mauled bodies
under the rocks to die; 50 these men have
fallen under the wheel OF awful calamity,
crushed here destroyed forever, while a vast
multitude Of others have taken the religion
of Jesus Christ into everyday life, and first,
IN practical business affairs, and secondly,
on the throne of heavenly triumph, have IL
Illustrated, while angels looked on and a uni
verse approved, the glorious truth that
"Godliness is profitable unto all things, hav-
ing the promise of the life which now is a.
well as of that which is to coma"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25

The rush on the druggists still continues and
daily scores of people call for bottle of
Kemps Balsam for the Throat and Lungs for
the cure of Coughs, Colds, Asthma, Bronchitis
and Consumption. Kemp's Balsam, the STAN
dard family remedy,is sold on a guarantee and
never fails to give entire satisfaction. Price
60c and 81. Trial size free
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25
aouethIn0 Mas

Anew and very effective thing which Is TAX
ing hold on the market Is a valuable discovery
made known through The Charles A. Vogeler
Co, baltimore, Nd, pruprietors of the re-
nowned st. Jacobs OH, and known as Diamond
Indigestion and all stomach troubles arising
therefrum. Ii not found in the stock of drug
gist or dealer, il viii be sent by mail on receipt
OF . cents % boxes 81 in stamps. Sample sent
found on trial 10 be a specific for sour stomach,
heartburn, nausea, giddiness, constipation,
nervousness and low spirits, and Il is spoken OF
and recommended by hundreds who have used
It and have found lasting benefits.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25

Mary II. Jewett, Terrace Lodge, old High
Rock, Ly mn, Mass, lost flesh and badly run
down from overwork, cured by Lougee's
Vitalizing Compound. Earnestly recon.
mends 1t to all ladies who have a tired, Ian.
guild feeling.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25

1t seems that he discovery of a sure cure for
badness, claimed to have been made by III. A.
Fechter, of New Haven, Conn, is genuine Some
of the results it has accomplished are really
wonderful Mr.. Fechter has printed a circular
describing it, which he distributes free to all
who apply for il.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25
SUICIDES.
Their Fearful Increase and the Cause
seven Occur I'm One Day-A Harrow
ing Description.

A recent issue of daily paper contained IA
account Of not less than seven suicides in one
day, and published large heading, as follows
"They all Sought Death" One was a dis
couraged, broken old man, in whom life had
lost all charm; another was beautiful young
girl who sought refuge from despair. All
sought different ways Of taking their own lives
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25
.RndinnI Onra fnr EniIentic FYt..

To the Edttor-Please inform your readers
named disease which warrant to cure the
worst cases. So strong is my faith in its viz
tues that will send flee a sample bottle and
valuable treatise to any sufferer who will give
me his p o. and Express address. Resp'y,
H. g. ROOT, NJ. O.. 163 Pearl St.. New York.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25

We raised 457,5OO,4oO bushels of wheat in
1877, and exported SO per cent. of the guam.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25
That Tired. LnnguId FeeIIpr.

The island of ST. Thomas, I'm the West In.
dies, belongs to Denmark.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25

For sPRAINs, BRUISES, BACKACHB,
PAIN in the CHEST or SIDES, HEAD
ACHE, TOOTHACHE, or any other EX-
TERNAL PAIN, few applications act
like magic, causing the PAIN TO IH-
STANTLY STOP.
For CONGESTIONS,IN FLAMMATIONS
SORE THROAT, BRONCHITIS, COLD
I'm the CHEST, RHEUMATISM, NEUs
RALGIA, LUMBAGO, SCIATICA, PAINS
I'm the Small of the Back. etc., more exs
tended, longer continued and repeated
applications are necessary to effect .
cure.
All INTERNAL PAINS I'm the Bowels
OF stOmaehl, CRAMPS SPASAS, SOUR
STOMACH, NAUS SEA, VOMITIN O.
HEARTBURN, Ola RR II GA, collie,
FLATULENCY, PAINTING SPELLS. are
relieved instantly and QUICKL
CURED by taking internally as direct-
ed. Sold by Druggists. Price, SOC.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25
COIofed Maps Of each State and Territory In the United States
Also Maps Of every Country in the World.

The letter gives the miles of each State time
settlement population chief cities average temperatures saarv
OF officials and the principal posasers the State number of
farms with their productions and the value thereof derent
manufactures and number of employees etc. Also the area
of each Foreign Country form of government population prn
cpa products and their value trade religion
size of army miles of railroad telegraph number of horses
cattle sheep and vast amount of information valuable all
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25

The most eeFN
tain and safe
Pain REMEDY
I'm the wo ria
tn at Instantly
stops the most
eTeruciatfnR
pains. 1t Ia
truly the great
CONQUEROR
OF PAIN, ana
has done more
good than any
urnaxwn FarsaaG~
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25
", u. Four.
Aged People

Whose blood has become thin or impure are espec-
tally liable toattacks of rheumatism to that weak
ness called general debility" The pains and aches
of the former are relieved by Hoods sarsaparila.
which purihes and vitazes the blood. while it also
tones and builds up the whole system.
MY wife and myself were both generally run
down. Hoods Sarsaparilla brought us out Of that
tired feeling, and made us feel like young people
again Ithas done more for us than all other medi-
cines together" RICHARD HAwKHURsT. Amityville,
Long Island, NY.
Hoods SarsapariIIa
Sold by oil druggists. 81; six for S. Prepared only
by c. I. HOOD Il CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass.
100 Doses One Dollar
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1889-01-25
The Excitement MOI Over.

The total number of Universalists is 49,.
5OO o''