davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17
The Beds or ROYALTY.

Clarence House is one of the most
comfortable houses in London, and is
famous for It's good beds, for the only
daughter of Alexander II. of Russia
is, like many Muscovite ladies, very
particular about her beds, and will
tolerate in her house none but the very
best. Even when a mere child, and
long before her marriage, she was so
particular about this very important
item In domestic comfort that, TO in
sure the sheets being tightly stretched
over the mattress, she used TO have
them sewn down. for even the slightest
crease or wrinkle would entirely de-
stroy the repose of this imperial spoilt
child for the night.
Her Royal Highness used to he great
ly chaffed about this weakness by mem
bers of our royal family when first she
came TO this country, but the Queen,
who j, also very particular about her
beds, stuck up for her, and, although
now the sheets are no longer sewn
down to the mattress, they are com
posed of the most exquisitely fine linen
that can be procured, and stretched
like tight rope over the most perfect
mattresses that can be manufactured
in Paris, in which capital the making
of mattresses has been brought up to
the level of fine art.
A curious and amusing chapter might
indeed be written about the bedrooms
of illustrious personages. The ex-Em-
press Eugene is quite as particular
about her beds as the Duchess Of Ed
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17
Not an Everyday Occurrence.

Two Transfers came into collision in
the street with their vehicles the other
day.
First Teamster-My dear sir, I'm
very sorry for this accident. Will you
kindly excuse me?
Second Teamster do not men
ton it, my dear sir. The fault was as
much mine as yours.
After getting their carts clear Of each
other they bowed politely, and with n
pleasant good day" proceeded about
their business.
1t is great pity they had not had
their photographs taken for curiosi-
ties.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17
Swallowing the Insult.

"You saw, sir" exclaimed the actor,
choking with wrath as he rushed into
the newspaper Office after the evening
performance was over and leaned over
the editors table, show / was treated
this evening. L was Kissed, sir! L
sir! The ruffians in the gallery threw
cabbages and dead cats on the stage,
and cowboy in one of the boxes shot
off lock of my hair. It's CALLING to
my pride as an actor, sir, but look at
it in purely business light. There
won't be standing room the rest of the
week. Do it up in column article in
tomorrow mornings paper, with a
scare head over it, and give all the par
ticulars. Here's so. Chicago Trib-
1l1le.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17
Beautiful Killarney.

The spectator at Killarney will find
wood, water and mountain in every
conceivable form and aspect, so diversi-
fled and in such unlimited change, that
it is impossible for the eye to rest from
any point upon any spot where some
combination of the three does not re-
turn picture of beauty or grandeur.
Entirely aside from historic or religious
association of thought, and with every
ruin, shrine or legend, SO quickening TO
the imagination, expunged, for this
simple physical fact alone, the killar-
ney region will ever remain the most
beautiful spot in the world. Forest is
here in trackless waste, where the red
deer hide, in grove, in copse; in matted
masses hanging from inaccessible
heights. Shrubbery is here in such
luxuriance that its richness and pro-
fusion cannot be elsewhere equaled
outside the tropics. Water is here in
such glints and gleamings as no pen or
brush can adequately depict; in lakes
that startle one as if in sudden awak-
ening consciousness of surprising
dream in torrents solemn and mighty;
in cascades filmy as streams of lace;
in rivers tortuous and wild, songful
and murmurous; i'll pools deep. dark
and silent. Mountains are here with
soft and billowy ascent; with crags
and cliffs majestic, where eagles nest
and scream with peaks above the
clouds. All these in all forms are Kill
larney's so tenderly, so sweetly and so
full of surprising loneliness, one can no
less than throb with the loftiest exalta-
ton and exclaim: Here stood the
great Artifcer, and lovingly builded
and blessed. Edgar L. Wakeman, IN
Worcester SDu
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17
Hard Times.

"By Jove, but these are hard times, +"
said Jolly fellow the other day. II
can't earn enough to give my wife and
children trip to the beach"
THAT'S rather hard"
Hard ] should think so. Why,
/ earned only S75 last month, and it
cost $50 for household expenses.
II should think that out of the re-
manning S25 YOU could have given your
wife and children trip to the beach. y
"Yes, but had to use that S25 for
club dues and the expenses of a couple
of yachting excursions / took with the
boys. "-BostOn Courier.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17
Tho Closing of an Important Outlet.

The blockade OF port is not more injurious
TO it's commerce than is even the temporary
obstruction Of the bowels TO tho health OF the
system. Constipation necessarily arrests the
secretion Of bile impedes and disorders di-
gestion, and poisons the circulation. The
safest and most effective as 1t is also the most
genial, laxative and anti-bilious medicine in
existence is Hostetters Stomach Bitters, and it
Is more than probable that it's sovereign efficacy
al preventive and remedy for entermittent
reformatory action upon the liver, organ
preiudicially involved in all malarial COM
plants. Persons with a tendency also TO
rheumatic, neuralgia and kidney trouble can
not do better than To antagonize it with Hos
letters Stomach Bitters, which invariably
checks IL at the outset. The weak moreover,
are invested with strength by this fine in
vigorant
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17
ReaSOn Enough.

Whenever you punish child" say
those wise people who find it so easy to
give good advice, always be sure that
the child understands perfectly why you
do So" The mother of certain Miss
Alice acted upon this principle, but is
not sure that it is always successful.
The little girl was in the habit of
crying upon the very slightest occasion.
Finally she was warned that the next
time she offended in that way she
should he punished. Soon afterward
she was heard bawling Justify.
What are you crying for 2" inquired
her mother.
"Becauth Bridget will not let me go
out to play"
The threatened punishment was
promptly administered. "'Now, Alice, y
said her mother, do you know why
you were punished ?"
Eth, mamma.
"Why was it?"
"Becauth Bridget would not let me
go olt to play"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17

"Yes, / have been in the town of
Plummeryille, Arkansas" said n mem
Der OF the Chicago Press Club. a
young Kentuckian, named Warren,
and L once published the WeeklU Corn
Cob in Conway, town situated about
fifteen miles from Plummerville. One
day Warren came to me and said: Got
great scheme
What is it p
Why j saw a man just now who
says that If we go up to Plummerville
we can get five or six subscriptions.
He says they banker after a humorous
paper up there more than any people
he ever saw. Says that when they get
hold OF humorous publication they
sit out on the cotton bales and read it
out till the whole town is convulsed
with laughter Says that he has seen
women leaning ont the windows, laugh
ing fit to kill themselves, at deputy
constable who was reading a negro
story.
Well go at once, said 1. We had
passes on the road and of course no ex-
pense would be incurred. / was not,
upon arriving at the town, delighted
with the prospects. L heard no joyous
laughter. A man, with bits of hog fat
sticking on his boots, was cursing and
belaboring balky horse; negro, with
castiron plow- point in his hand, was
swearing that he would.kill dat trihin'
cullud preacher an old fellow with a
sun-grin on his face lay under q tree,
and an ole mule, hair-scorched and hip
shot, was biting the bark off poplar
pole. The commercial part of the town
consisted of n row of shed-like stores,
built of "up-end" bords.
Il hear no haw-haw, Warren
said /.
"'Oh, it'll break out after while,
he hopefully answered.
"We went into store. A man, tall,
gaunt, squint-eyed and low-browed,
was cutting off a piece of cheese with
knife that looked like scythe-blade.
How are you| said L.
'Hy,' he answered, paying no atten-
ton to us.
Very nice town you have here
"'Hah?'
Il say you have a very nice town."
All, hah' (still cutting the cheese).
"'We are the publishers of the
Weekly Corn Cob, one of the best
known humorous publications in the
country
The what?"
=" Weekly Corn Cob"
What's that?'
Why, one of the beSt-known hui
morous publications in the country
I" Two dollars year, Warren sug-
gested.
I'VE are going to give column
write-up of your town, and we want
You to subscribe, said L.
"He uttered sort of blubbering roar
and swung his scythe-blade. When
Warren and / reached the railroad plat
form, remarked that the follow did
not appear to be tickled.
But that fellow over yonder may
be Laughter Warren hopefully an
swered.
81 can't help it, said I. He may be
loud in his mirth, but L shall not call
on him. I've got enough
The town marshal came mp and
asked what we wanted. We told him,
and he pointed down the railroad and
said:
We don't want no foolishness
here
THE train would not be due until
late in the evening. We stole hand
car and left the town. We gave up the
Corn Cob and wandered away while
the katydid was singing at vespers. y
ArkdllsdW TrdUeier.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17

WHAT in the world is the use Of sitting
around waiting for something to turn up?
You might Just as we'll sit down In the
meadow and wait for the COW to come up to
be MIXED. Get up and shake yourself and
make up your mind to turn up something.
II you have nothing definite in your mind.
then write TO i. +. Johnson * Co.. Rich
mond. Va. and they will tell you thing or
two that will make YOU lump for 10Y.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17

First Waiter-Did you ever have
the bad luck to spill water over a GUS
toner?
Second Waiter-Yes, once; but got
out of it all right.
First Waiter-How so?
Second Waiter Why, it was at a
Baptist anniversary banquet, and the
gent seemed to take it as matter of
course. Burlington Free Press.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17
Climate for Consumptiyes.

The several climates Of Florida, Colorado.
and California have each been much pre-
scribed for sufferers from lung disease. yet
thousands Of the natives in those States die
of this fatal malady. A far more reliable
remedy is TO be had in every drug store in
the land. and one that can be used at
home; remedy which is sold. by drug
gists. under the manufacturers pOsitire
guarantee that. if taken in time AMI
given fair trial. il will effect cure. or
money paid for it will be promptly re-
turned. We refer TO that world famed
remedy for consumption Tor lung scro:ula)
known as DR.. Pierces Golden Medical Dis
covery. 1t is the only remedy for this ter
rible disease possessed of such superior
curative properties as TO warrant its manu-
facture in selling il under a guarantee.
DON'T hawk and blow. and spit, but use
nr AZ
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17

DOLLY don't see how there can
be any humor in your profession.
Doctor-Why, my dear, a miser died
on my hands last week and / had to
give the cause of his death on the GER
tifcate as enlargement of the heart.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17

GuEsT-"See here. one of your wait
ers has spilled a plate of soup over this
lady's dress" Proprietor-"Be calm,
sir. We will take the price of the
soup out of his next weeks wages
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17

"YoUNG man." he said. as the former
lower bottle from his lips with sigh
of content, You seem to drink whisky
with good deal of avidity." "No, sir"
replied the young man, Il always drink
IL straight"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17

ANGRY husband-What / wanted
was wife who would be a helpmeet
Angry wife-Huhl What / wanted
was a husband who would supply meat
10 help.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17
Circumstances Alter Cases.

Fanny-The new garters which you
bought yesterday are not pretty at all.
Emma-What difference does it
make? Nobody sees them.
"Ah, but it may rain
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17

For washing dannels. Dobbins' Electric
Soap Ia marvellous. Blankets and woolens
washed with 1t look like ne,o. and thore is
absolutely no shrinking. No other soap in
the world will do such perfect work.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17

THE young woman who boldly states
that she likes to be Rugged should be
Immediately repressed.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17

WHEN a man asks you for boss
pitakty do not say neigh to him.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17
A NEW INVENTION
E ,!Ss PALMsK'S MAGNETIC lNHALE Il -
E{3E33E Patented June ~, 1S8Sax<zX
V1238 Price, Ono Dollar. n.y.
Magnetism and Menthol as g.
Remedial and Curative
Agent.

From time 10 time many inventions and devices,
have been placed upon the market tanning 70 cure
catarrh, neuralgia. bronchitis, etc, many OF which
are said TO contain electric or magnetic curative
powers.
DIR. Palmer is gentleman who has devoted life
of study the subject OF catarr and Of the
head, throat, and lungs. and some time since he
commenced series OF experiments with a view to
determining whether any combination could DO
formed which would kill the parasite and act q
healing power at the same time, and at length sue
ceeded in determi ming that mentho when com bined
with magnetism. would do so, but how TO arrange
these seemingly opposite agents so a. To render
their convenient and efoctusl a question OF
some difficulty. At length he succeeded in conhning
within vulcsnite tube three inches long and about
threequartere OF an inch in diameter perfect zg
nctic battery In the form Of coil of steel wire. In
the interior of this battery ~ stored fine grade Of
by nickel caps, which. whom removed, admit of the
free nh alation Of the electro entholized air. The
menthOl acts as q rinacide. while the magnetic
the diseased parts into healthy action forms a won
dertul healing power thereby successfully stopping
any further depredations.
ing and for the immedl ate relief and speedy Of
catarrh cold in the head hay fever headache nen-
ralsia catarrhal deafness ETC. IL is upeQuaed.
IL cures headache in nVe minutes. Sore throat 10
one of the diseases impedately affected by the In
hsler. Commencing colds can be broken up In ~
hours by few inspirations from this little benefac
tor To clear the throat aud head and produce SOUND
and refreshing sleep at night. IL has no equal The
inspiration u pleasant and effect wonderful.
Nothing like it has ever been placed on the marhet
tetorc. Is price IL moderate Its working is mar
Vicious aud no family can afford to be without Of
these inventions.
Beware of imitation as there are interruptions
perso' 81 gagged IN the nanuiacture of . spurious
inha er that strongly resembles the genuine.
run directions, te umoniais, etc. sent with each
Instrument.
II yon are afflicted with catarrh send si.Oo and,
get Magnetic lnhaier. which l. certain 20 AFFORD
a: GAvIsk, Western a gent. 2s 4 Franklin St.
Chicago, iii.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-07-17
A Suitable Occasion.

DON'T hawk. and blow. and spit. but use
DR.. Sage's Cata-rh Remedy. OF druggists.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-12-26
A Valuable Medica, treatise.

The edition for 1890 of the sterling Med
ical Annual, known as HOstetter's Alma
nae, is now ready. and may be obtained,
free of cost, of druggists and general
country dealers in all parts of the United
States, Mexico, and indeed in every civil
lied portion of the Western Hemisphere
The Almanc has been issued regularly at
the commencement of every year for over
one fourth of a century. 1t combines,
with the soundest practical advice for the
preservation and restoration of health. a
large amount of interesting and amusing
light reading, and the calendar, astronO
mical calculations, chronological items,
&c, are prepared with great care, and
Will be found entirely accurate. The
issue of Hostetter's Almanac for 1890 will
probably be the largest edition of medi-
cal work ever published in any country.
The proprietors, Messrs. Hostetter & Co.,
Pittsburg, Pa, on receipt of two cent
stamp. will forward copy by mail to
any person who cannot procure one in
his neighborhOod.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-12-26
ATTENTION.

tits probable that ] shall
move from my present loca-
ton to some other building the
first of January. | desire to
reduce my stock, and will make
sweeping reductions in prices
from now till the first of the
year. Call and inspect my
hats, trimmed and untrimmed,
before deciding to wear your
old one. Hats worth 5000 for
$3.50, and so on all through
my hats and caps. | have
never, in the ten years of my
business here; advertised such
a sale as this, but | mean what
| say. Call and see.
MRS. IDA BEADLE.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-12-26
Reservation.

Hip hop. slip slide, and Merry Christ
mas to all.
Such beautiful weather it does not seem
like winter time, but, maybe we are COM
mcnting too soon.
We can hear the click of the hammers
as they are securely fastening the iron
bands across the Arkansas river
Slight colds is no. an uncommon COM
plant.
H. l.. Harvey has moved TO the resi-
dence of Mr.. Balls to take care of his
stock during their absence.
Hugh Lockman and Ben Dunkleberger,
could not endure the buffals- grass any
longer and DEPARTED for muddy Missouri.
Fred Prather is clerking in the pos;of-
fee at Pawnee Rock.
Several of the farmers have contracted
for water next year Let the water come
One Of Mr.. Bipger's horses died from
cause similar to that of which one of Mr.
Harvey's died last week The disease
seems of a staggering nature.
VIM. Bradley went to Kingsdown last
Friday after his sisters who are coming
up to spend the holidays
The Dodge City Ice Co. are preparing
to put up ice as soon as the cold weather
sets in.
The schools of district twenty-three and
Belle Center each has a vacation of two
weeks.
Henry Wood sold fine calf last week.
Tom Branaman has fine piece of rye.
The teachers of sixteen called upon the
schools of Midland and Sawlog, presided
over by Mr.. Harvey of the former and
Mr.. LeatherwOod of the latter schools.
Mrs. Kesler has gone to Wichita to
spend the holidays,
Mrs. Jones is visiting friends in Missou
n.
F. E, Jones made f1al proof on his
homestead last Friday.
The literary was a success last Friday
eveding at Belle Center. A good pro-
gramme was carried out: next in order
was the debate: Resolved, That the wom-
an has more influence in the political is
sue today than if she was granted the
right of suffrage. An interesting argu-
ment was produced by both sides after
which the judges rendered a decision in
favor of the negative.
Il. n. Ames is here from Wichita spend
ing the holidays.
Misses Stanley and Hanna are spending
Christmas ut home. LIVE OAK.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-12-26
Council PROCEEDINGS.

The city council met in regular session Wednes-
day evening, Dec. 18th, 1889, at 80 D. m. Pres
en'; $; Galland. J. T. Hubbard, c. II. Martin. r.
II. Sughrue, J. j. Summersby and L. X Mcintyre
Absent: r. W. Evans Mayor and councilmen W.
c. Shinn and r. Gesde.
On motion L. X. Mcintyre was elected Mayor
Protein.
The minuets Of dates Oct. ed. 1859 and Nov 9Th.
9TH, I'D and Dec. ID, and 9th. 1854 were read and
approved
the council and the clerk ordered to draw warrants
". Tarbox. dray bill street work $50
j. s Martin. lumber for streets $3.50
CIV. Averill. lumber for streets 2l.O
Hutchinson News, blanks LIS
Dodge City TINES, printing 40
Fee Bill, City of Dodge City VS. s, s.
Stubbs
L. E. McGarry, Clerk costs SIS
Fee Bill. City of Dodge City vs. J. Wright
Thos. Lahey. Clerk cost Dist. Court so
ii. b. Bell. sheriff costs 80
J. II. Conrad. witness $50
". d. Chambers witness l.JO
Fee Bill. City Of Dodge City vs. Louis
Newbauer.
Fee Bill, City of Dodge City vs. W. H.
Sammon.
L E. McGarry, Clerk costs 5G5
l. E. McGarry, Clerk costs $50
Fred Singer, witness 200
W. j. Bauman Sc zoo
DS. Stubs zoo
Chris Beahl 200
Ft Bill. ". T. Lane vs. City Of Dodge City
L E. McGarry. Clerk costs $50
+. Sughrue, Sheriff costs ESQ
Fee Bill, City Of Dodge City We ~ B.
Klaine
l. E. McGary, Clerk cost $50
?. +. Sughrue, sheriff costs IS
Total Sizsso
On motion the council adjourned.
GEO. F. JoxEs, City Clerk.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-12-26
G.. w. FREDENDALL
"RAcKET STORE
Cor. Chestnut St. and First Avenue
Free Reclining chair Cars to Pueb
10, Colorado Springs and
Denfer, Colo.

The Santa Fe Route" is now running
free reclining chair cars between Kansas
City and Denver on daily trains leaving
Kansas City at II 90 a H.. and Denver at
LEO p. IN. These cars are entirely new.
and have been built expressly for this
train, are fitted with all the modern ap-
plications for both convenience and safe
ty, and are unequaicd byany cars run be-
tween these points heretofore. No line
can offer you better Accommodations than
the old reliable Santa Fe Route
For any information desired regarding
rates, through car accommodations. time
of arrival and departure of trains, &c.
call on any agent of the Santa Fc. or ad-
dress
GEO. T. NICHOLSON.
G. =. & 7. A., \. T. & S. F. r.. r.
Topeka, Kansas.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-12-26
4 RARE CHANCE.
a Years Reading For si.3s.

Years Reading For .3S.
Having purchased the entire stock OF
books of large publishing house, we of
fer until this lot is closed out the twenty
five following books. express paid, to any
address. for the exceedingly low price OF
one dollar and thirty cents:
1. "The Mystery of the WilT'-Blout
9. "A Gilded Sinh. NJ. Clay.
8. MY Lady's Money
L. Dora Thorne' NJ. Clay
8. Christians Mistake unlock.
6. Cousin Heury"-A. Trollope.
:. Bread and Chceseand Kisses
Fargeon.'
8. ''Reaping the Whirlwind Hay.
Q. THE Heir to Ashley''-Mrs. Wood.
10. Lord Lynn's Choice NJ. Clay.
11-"The Mystery of the Headlands'
Pierce.
12. The Lady of the Lake Scott
10. Missing MARY C. Hay.
IA. ''The Shadow of Sire''-Clay.
Is. THE Yellow Mask''-W. Collins.
10. The Cricket on the Hearth
Dickens
II. Cities of the New World'-Illus-
trated.
10. Fancy work 70: home sdornment."
10. "a Bride from the Sea"-Clay.
20. The Most Bank Note"-Wood
81. ':sThe Bulge. of Wit, Humor. Fur" "
g. In Cupid's Net'-B. ~ Clay
23-&saCalled Back"-Hugh COnowsy.
"a. The Widow Bedott Papers
White.
Is. Dark Dsys'-H. Conoway.
Send orders early as we reserve the
right to return the money when supply
h exhausted Address
E. l. Tobie, Keithsburg, Ill.
References. Farmefs Rank Of Keithsburg.