The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-03-28
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The baby has rafting time.
On the safe side-The cashier
A swell atfair-A builfrog chorus.
A bill sticker-A determined collect
or.
Is it the dog watch whose bark is on
the sea. Life.
Even small barber may be called a
strappiug fellow.
A diamond is hardened enough not to
feel cheap, even though it is cut.
When man cries "Hoe there" is he
not trying to "cultivate" your acquaint-
ance!-Statesnlqn
Irish employer Ito clerk)-"Don't
know the mans address? Well, write
to him and find outr'
A Rochester girl has an admirer who
always brings her chewing gum. She
calls him her gumbeau.
The police have awful big revolyers
One covered striker with one a few
: days ago.-NsD YORK. News.
The fraudulent old beau who dyes his
hair has no right to be writing to any
girl about his undying love.
There are good many things besides
alocomotive that man will not throw
over his shoulder. city Blizzard
"That was horrible cigar you gave
me this morning, Jack" ''Yes, l know
it was. That's why I gave it to you"
A Vermont farmer claims to have some
cattle that laugh. They are the laugh,
TO- ,+ool, of tba M T,,,,
Sytings.
Guest from the wild West)-"Give
me p.top room" Hotel Clerk ito
hall boy)-"Tske him up to the garrett"
-Judgs.
A hawk may get the rooster after
breakfast, but before breakfast the
rooster always takes crow. Washing
ton Critic.
Speaking of ''the last words of famous
men, we haven't sufficient space at our
command to give Noah Webster's. -NeU
York News.
Hunter" Where is schmidt2n Guide
ooh, he is off to the right, He has
been shooting all around rabbit for the
last half hour. "-sgting%. ...
A New York museum is exhibiting an
''ossifed man." He will probably
be secured by some minstrel company to
impersonate Bones. Statesman.
Bjoues -'I'll bes you she accepts"
Merritt-''I don't want to take your
money She offered to bet me that she
would refuse you. Men York Sun.
An Anarchist once said to me,
1.-THE reason ! eau never see,
Ii bomb in a crowd one should throw,
Why he should be strung up, you know
But we said: '1f you bombs throw, we bet
The hang of it then you will get, !"
GooddUs Sun.
Whea man dies natural death it is
well enough to call the corpse the ere
mains" but if he has been assisted hence
by discharge of nitro -glycerine the
word remnants seems to fit the case
better.
"Minnie has been to see me to-day
said little fve.year old, ''and she be-
haved like lady, "And / hope you
did, too" said her mother, eyes, in
deed | did; turned somersets for her
on the bed"
Judge" Prisoner at the bar. have
you anything to say why sentence of
death should not be passed upon you"
Prisoner-''Yes, sir. am member of
the Society for the Abolition of Capital
Punishment
A New Vintage. old Soaker at the
club, dreamily)--'I say, waiter; that's
the best wine I've had for ages. Bring
another bottle" Waiter-"You have
had no wine, sir. What you drank was
the Worcestershire sauce Nee YORK
Nesos.
Mrs. o. B. Jolly-'1 invited twenty
people to the party and twenty have
comet l have refreshments for only
fifteen. What shall l 6o2n Mr.. 0. B.
Jolly (after a moments thought)-I
have it. Let Maria sing for them Just
before supper"