Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1889-04-17
THE TWO BABES.
A Pathetic Episode of Railroad
Travel.

A Pathetic Episode of Railroad
Travel.
Profound was his contempt for the
restriction of grammar, but rather
liked his quaint manner Of telling the
story. Said he:
ut was when me and Silent was
startin' East to have time an to sorto
see if we could round up on the old
stompin' grounds somebody that re-
membered u.s."
When he had gotten we'll started into
the description of the journey, he
paused and mentally regarded with
awe the picture that memory conjured
up OF the man who habitually eclipsed
the most artistic efforts of the men
who believed that profanity was the
only phase of the English language
understood by cattle on the range. and
who always endeayored to render their
remarks to the bovines Ineligible. It
was evident that the conductor swore.
Many things had conspired to make
the journey an uncomfortable one. AS
there was but one train on that apol-
ogy for d line of railroad, which was
little better than two streaks of rust
running across the prairie to nowhere
in particular, the fact that there was a
backward trip to be made. some time
in the future, was the only cause for
haste. What there was of speed
seemed mostly a series of jerkees not
calculated to have a balmy influence
upon the crabby temper of the jerkees
in the old caboose. Bates, the CONNER
cial traveller. was cynical and equity,
and perpetually upon the opposite Of
every subject advanced by the narrator,
Speers.
Stretched on the long bench lay
Silent, filling the car with clouds of
such villainous smoke that Bates in
cluded smoking in his list of con-
formations, to which the silent one
replied only by putting like a miniat-
ure Vesuvius, till the conductor con-
signed all smokers to a more awful
depth than that to which fiddlers are
popularity supposed to be condemned.
Besides being luridly profane, the
small conductor was Grabbed to a most
disagreeable degree, and the tall brake
man was insulting to his superior and
neglected his duties to watch the al
most sanguinary game Of ''freeze out'
in which Bates and Speers INDUCED on
a board laid across their lap.
The primary cause of all the clash
ing among the occupants of the old
caboose was in the corner. There sat
a stoop-shouldered man whose ague-
yellowed face wore a look of chronic
apology. In his lap he held two babies,
twins, seemingly. In spite of the noise
Of the car one of the babies had not
uttered complaining cry during the
trip, and had lain with its face covered
and seemed to be sleeping.
But the other baby, as if to show
that he was not in sympathy with
the passiveness of his relative,
had cried and yelled nearly the
whole way. TO be sure, now and
then there would come a lull in
the storm of cries, but each of these
was followed by an outburst that
almost drowned the rattle of the ca
boose and caused the screams to bring
down upon his unconscious head the
wrath of all in the car but his relatives
and the silent smoker stretched on the
long seat.
Through it all the sleeping baby
showed no signs of waking. The apol-
ogetic-looking man had almost ceased
trying to quiet the bowler, for all his
awkward efforts had resulted in fail
ure, and, limp and discouraged, he had
settled back in passive, powerless resig-
nation.
While the conductor had almost
burned blue with sulphurous growls,
Bates had uttered imprecations upon
all crying babies in general, and this
one in particular, at which the father
had looked more depressed and apollo
getic than ever.
Speers. to the contrary, took occa-
sion to express the belief that Bates
had once been just such baby, and
that, therefore, he ought to have a fell
low-feeling for the infant.
Bates angrily repudiated the idea.
The conductor sqnirmed wrathfully
about in his revolving chair in the
turret of the caboose. Silent gazed
solemnly through a cloud of smoke at
the bowler, as if wondering how such
a vast volume of sound could proceed
from so small a body.
At each outburst of wrath from the
passengers the apologetic man looked
more depressed, and once no bent and