The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-08-14
FIRE, FIRE, FIRE, FIRE.
Mr.. BOWSER DISPLAYS GREAT
PRESENCE OF MIND.

VenezueIa's Primitive Laundrying-To
Teach Women to Argue-A Torch
Dance for Royal Brides-Anericans in
Paris. 5
"Mrs. Bowser, it is possible that this
house may take fire some time" OBJ
served Mr.. Bowser as he laid aside his
paper the other evening.
Yes"
IF it takes fire while | am at home
all | expect of you is to take the cnlld
and get out doors. / shall peril my
Iife to subdue the contlagration, and
if l find it cannot be done l shall save
all the valuables."
Perhaps | could help you"
And perhaps you couldn't. You'd
Edo more damage than good II you
tried to. / wantyou to remember n
get right out and stay out"
II have been told that l had great
presence of mind, Mr.. Bowser."
Eyes and you may have been told
that you were the Empress of Russia.
Presence of mindi There isn't a
woman on earth who'dshave presence
of mind enough in case of a lire to
save her own shoes! All / want OF
you is to follow my own directions.
1t was singular that the test should
come so soon. In lighting the gas In
the hall up stairs Mr.. Bowser must
have dropped the match upon a rug
lying near. We were hardly in bed
before / smelled smoke, but when L
mentioned the fact Mr.. Bowser
crowded.
'Nonsense! The cook probably
threw some eggshells in the range
when she was clearing up her supper
dishes. Your los is always smelling
fire or burglars or sewer gas, and 1t Is
always wrong"
He went to sleep and l continued to
sniff that odor. Ten minutes after
Mr.. Bowser had uttered his first snore
a thick cloud of smoke poured into
our bedroom all of a sudden, and at
the same moment the darkness was
lighted up by a Pickering flame. The
house was certainly On fire, and L
shook Mr.. Bowser and informed him
of the fact.
"W-what is it," he gasped, as he
sat up in bed.
The house is on fire! Can't you
see the smoke and the blazer"
| was out on the top floor and dress
ing me when he rolled out of bed,
sprang to the door and shouted at the
top of his voice.
F'Murderi Police! Firel We are all
IN fire up here!n
We'll, slip on your clothes and see
if you can't put it out. 1t must be
in the back hail.
''Firel Fire! Fire!n he yelled as he
sought to pull on his pants. "Our
house is on fire! We shall be burned
alive!'
He rushed to the telephone and
rang it continuously for twenty sec
onds, and then yelled
E'Hello, central! Hello, CENTRAL
Firel Firel Firel My house is on
fire! Send up the police and three en-
gines right away"
He couldn't wait for an answer, but
took three or four circuits around the
sitting room, made a dash into the
parIor and out by he-front hall, all
the time yelling, "Firem at the top OF
his voice, and then it occurred to MIN
to go to the fire alarm box down on
the corner. Out he rushed, bare
footed and bareheaded. and after try
ing for half a minute to pull the box
off the post he ran to the residence
where the key was kept. His shouts
and yells had aroused everybody with
in half a mile, and the possessor of the
KEY threw up his window and called
lis that you, Bowser7n
tsYes, it's mel Ny house is on firel"
"Sure? l didn't see any light over
there
''It's on fire from cellarto garret, and
l expect my wife and child have
persisted in the flames"
That's awful Here's the key
Mr.. Bowser not only turned in one
alarm, but he kept on sending them
in until the first steamer arrived, and
the driver Oft ordered him away from
the box and called him a blank fool.
Five engines came rushing up, and |
had got the smoke out of the hall and
was down stairs when a dozen firemen
dashed up the steps to fight the con
flagration. | showed them up stairs
to Investigate. Mr.. Bowser went with
them. After they got through laugh
ing they turned on MI. Bowser. They
called him by $50 different titles, be-
sides advising him to go and sand
paper and soak his head. They
sneered at his excuses and laughed at
his explanations, and as theyretired one
of them remarked
Its a good thing for you, old bow
legs, that you have got a guardianF'
When they had gone and we were
left to ourselves, Mr.. Bowser looked
very important and Observed
well, l made mighty short work of
that blaze"
'Youl What did you DOR | asked.
'HWhat did | do? Mrs. Bowser, do
you intend to claim any credit for ex-
t~inguishing that blazer"
II do. But for me the house would
have gone. Mr.. Bowser, you were so
ratified that you acted like a crazy
man.
"Whatl you put out the fire, l
ratified! Mrs. Bowser, this is too
much. I see through the conspiracy.
On several occasions You have driven
me to the limit. This is beyond."1
Detroit Free Press.
Queer Venezuelan
Most of the laundry work in Vene-
zuela is done by women on the banks
Of the streams. They carry the
clothes in baskets on the top of their
heads to and fro, wash it in the cold,
running streams, pound it upon the
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