Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-08-25
Mr.. AND MRS. B0WSER.
He SUSPECTS Ills WIPE OF SOPTBNING OF
THE BRAIN.
In Reality It's Her Heart that's Soft; Her Brains
All Right. Sunday Pleasure Excursion at
Sylvan Retreat Near Detroit.
Detroit Free Press.

81 think we'll 90 up to the park to-mor-
row." said Mr.. Bowser, the other Sun
day evening, as he finished his cigar.
But won't it be dreadful crowded?n I
eueired.
There you go! You are always ready
to oppose anything suggest"
II am not opposing you, only you know
that the boats are always crowded on Sun
day, and that one is apt to meet with many
lawless characters. have heard you say
that the place was in possession of a mob
all day Sunday"
''Neverl On the contrary, have al
ways boosted of how orderly it was.
guarantee that you can go up there alone
and stay all day and will be treated like
queen"
"Well, if you think we had best go,
why"
''Of course do. I think little trip on
the water will do us all good, and al the
Island We will seek some sylvan retreat
and enjoy the beauties of the surround
ings."
And you-you won't get msd?'
Mrs. Bowser, what do you mean?"
eff things don't go right you won't
scold and blame everything to mef"
Have you gone mad? When did
ever blame you? If yor suspect that you
are getting softening of the brain, let me
know end I'll have medical examina-
ton"
After dinner next day we made start.
l think Mr.. Bowser started with the firm
determination to keep his good nature at
every hazard. But something occurred al
most Immediately TO upset him. The
street car was famed full and running over,
but it stopped and We wedged our way in.
in the sqeeze some one stepped on Mr.
Box ser's corn, some one else knocked his
plug hat off, and third person was heard
TO remark that if he weighed ton he
would charter special car when he want
ed to ride. This put Mr.. BOwser in trim
to say to the conductor:
docs the manager of this line think we
are lot Of hogs that we can be packed in
an old car this way"
Don't know, SIR"
"Then you'd better find out It's an
insult on decent people. and for one don't
propose to submit to itn'
''Thaz rize, ole fel'rw shouted a half
drunken man from the front of the car.
go in, old bay window added sec
ond.
'Ten to one on old BOwser," yelled
man from the rear platform.
We finally got down to the boat 1t was
black with humanity, and 1 didn't want
to 90, but Mr.. Bowser elbowed people
right and left and followed. After being
crowded, pushed, jammed, squeezed and
knocked about for 10 minutes l got a chair
which a drunken man had Just fallen of
and Mr.. Bowser found standing room be-
side me.
81 told you I thought the boats would
be crowded" REMARKED as soon as could
get my breath.
"Well, that shows ell you know about
it. There's no crowd on this boat. She
could carry as much again"
'But what a rough set Of people"
mo rougher than we are. You simply
want to find falt and make me uncOmfOrt-
able"
Just at this moment tough came up
and looked Mr.. Bowser over from crown
to heel, and then said:
"You look like the bloke who threw
mud at me little sister last May"
"Sirl You are MISTAKEN replied Mr..
| Bowser.
"What er you doin' wild all that stole
on?" demanded the tough as he brought
his arm around and gave Mr. Bowser's hat
Swat which sent it flying to the
deck.
Mr.. Bowser grabbed him, and there
would have been a fight had not number
of men interfered. When the hat was
recovered it had shoulder blade and three
ribs broken, and in the brief clinch the
tough tore Mr.. Bowser's necktie.
Pm sorry we came" said, as got q
chance to speak again. You know
told you thought it would be very I'M
pleasant"
Eyes, of course you are sorry! You
can't bear to see enjoying myself! | wasn't
aware that anything unpleasant had &C.
Cured"
In getting out of the boat at the Island
some one stepped on my dress-skirt and
nearly tore it of, while Mr. BOwser's hat
was crushed down over his eyes end some
one picked his cigar case out OF hls coat
tail pocken. We finally got out Of the
crowd and wandered away until we reach
ed a shady spot, and then it did seem as il
we might take some comfort. l began 10
express my sympathy for Mr.. Bowser,
when he turned on me with:
"When I want to be condoled with I'll
let Won know. Thus far we have had Q
real good time, and don't want to hear
any more kicking abut it,"
''This is the sylvan retreat you spoke Of,
I suppost?" I remarked as looked around
and saw cigar stubs, playing cards, pref
zels. beer bottle corks, and rusty old
corkscrew lying On the grass.
He didn't say. He was going to, when
a couple of young men came that way ana
stopped and asked Mr.. Bowser for match
TO light their clay pipes. He didn't have
any, and one of them said;
"Well, yer needn't be so crusty about
il. We are just as good as you are"
"And a blamed sight better, jim" add
ed the other. "I've seen this old bungee
up here every Sunday this summer, and
he's always had different woman with
him! He's up to snuff, ard don't you
forget it."
Mr.. Bowser Jumped up, but both OF
them piled on 10 him and screamed and
brought assistance They split his coat up
the back, tore his collar off and tore three
buttons of his vest, and as they went away
they threatened to come back and finish
| MIN.
"Mr. Bowser," I said after the crowd
had etarted, "hsdn't we better 90 home"
"No. ma'am, We hadn't. | came mp
here to Ell Joy myself, and Pm bound TO do
So"
coaxed and argued, but he was obsh-
nate. and pretty soon something else hap
pened. A gang Of five or SIX men came
along, ripe for mischief, and one OF them
halted in front of Mr.. BO8ser and irquir'