The Delta independent., 1889-10-15
TALK oFrHE DAY.

every thing.
1t is the skirt of "a ladys ball dress
that costs; the corsage doesn't come
high.
When you hear u young man say
that girl has no heart you may be
pretty sure that she has his.
$50 you had young Beaumash all the
evening. Did you notice his lovely
eyes?" mo. dear, / was too busy
listening to his clothes"
Tramp-'I have scarcely rag to
my back, mum; can't you help me out?"
Lady-"Certainly, sir; here's the rag
bag, help yourself"
Lady-.I thought told you wanted
curried potatoes for dinner" Bridget
-"The hostler was busy, mum, and
I'm no groom"
"Say, ma. a mouse has fallen into
the milk" His mother-"Did you
take it out?" Boy-.'No, 1 have
thrown the cat it."
New York boy. Mamma, isn't that
a funny little belt?" Mamma-"Hush,
child! That's the waist to your sisters
new ball dress"
1t costs less to go to see a doctor
than it does to have him come to see
you, but the apothecary man gets there,
just the same.
Editor Ito tipsy reporter)-"What
are you writing about?" Reporter
whisky" Editor-''Well, 1 see
you're full of your subject"
Briggs-"Hello, Braggs! I've just
Braggs-"rm very sorry, my boy, but
| haven't got a cent"
Too Personal-Old Blodgett-"No,
boys, there is not near so much drunk
enness in the club as there was when
was in it, The boys-"That's sop
"rhis is the most unlSindest cut OF
ALL" said jenkins, as he observed the
very small piece OF meat that the land
lady placed on his plate at breakfast.
Art and Nature-"So you have been
way to Greece, have you?" "Yeo;
saw everything worth seeing. 'Mong
other things saw Apollo with the bev-
eled ear"
Medical authorities insist that stim-
ulants weaken the voice, and doubtless
they do. 1T must be admitted, how
ever, that they strengthen the breath.
Little Dicl-"Do you go to circuses?
Circuses is wicked" Little Jack
"Yes; the big shows is wicked, but the
ten cent shows amt. Pop always
takes us to them"
Critical parlance. "What I like
about Barkins' work is that it is Sc
full" "Yes, Barkins put a great deal
of himself in his books. He's tina!
way himself half the time
Ethel (entering the parlor)-"Oh.
cr1nl tn
kiss.) Why, you are engaged to be
know?" II can tell by the way you
kiss"
'Is there wheelright in the dele
"Why?" asked another. Because he
spokesman"
Transferred Discipline: Mr.. Walker
Flohr Con his return from service with
his regiment ut Peekskill -..Nur0oer
three. down therer' Mr.. Dollarfive--
"Yessir." Mr.. Walker Flohr-.-
"Police that ribbon counter!'
Tommy-"Say, Mr.. Dryleigh, you
can try it on me if you like Rev.
Mr.. D.-"I don't understand you my
child. Try what?" why ma says you
can put anybody to sleep in five
minutes" (Tableau.)
Nephew (trying to make good i'm
pression)-'Uncle. this port is excel.
lent" Uncle-"Well, should think
so; it is fifty years old" Nephew
'.By Jove, you don't say so! What a
superb wine it must have been once!''
Judge Ito police officer)-.Are you
sure. sir, that the prisoner was drunkp"
Officer-"Is it dhrunk, yer homer?
Shure af he nd sphoke through the
tiliphone the BIRTH NV i'm I'D av made
the poles shtagger.
Labor saving Proposition-"W
Johnny, shall forgive you this time;
and it's very pretty of you to write a
letter to say you're sorry" "Yes,
ma; don't tear it up, please" why.
Johnny" Because it will do for
next time.''
Mrs. Winks Cat dinner in great no.
teD-"Who are those men at that
table in the cornerP" Mr.. Winks--
Don't know" "What are they talk
ing about?" "Base ball, horse races,
prize fights and so on" "Oh, they
are probably city officials"
City man Con a summer jaunt .'Are
tOu sOluS W hdNo OH cN'
hibition here this year?" Farmer (sud.
ly)-"No-o. Pm 'fraid not. Most OF
tho old ladies what makes quilts is died
off, and there nin't decent race hos.
in the county"
Haven't you got some ice that isn't
quite so coldo" asked the lady OF the
house when the usual lump was left in
the morning. ..Dr. Hammond says
that ice water is more injurious to
health than Goals OF fire. Hereafter
lelve us the warmest ice you raise"
Assistant editor-..Here's an account
of minister assaulted by disappoint
ed lover, while in the act OF perform
ing the marriage ceremony" Chief
sPut it in the railway news" Assist
ant (astonished) d)-.'Why?
Chief-"He was hurt while making
q coupling"
Inez Ceiling of her yachting trip
"And from there all the way home we
just hugged the shore. Young Sap.
head-"Aw, do you know, I would
have been very glad to have
been the shore" nez--"Thanks, but
the shore had lots OF rocks; quite an
attraction nowadays as you are
aware"
Omaha papa-"So you are going to
marry, are you, my sonp ! presume
the young lady you are about To wed
knows all about hOuaewOrk and loolx.