Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-01-19
FRESH FROM THE BURRS.

JENKINS writes to his girl in the
apartment house as his suite heart
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
II DID not think you would be so
hard with me-" exclaimed the shark.
when he bit the anchor ocean.
WHAT long legs the man must have
who can attend to his business with one
foot in the grave. -4tchisOn Globe.
A MACHINE for pressing hops has
been invent d. America is the home
of the hop-pressel.-Te.raS SUtUtyS.
THF novelty of having baby in the
house is like the trade mark on a cake
of soap; it soon wears otf.-itchjSOH
Weekly GlObe.
LECTURES On the North Pole are
generally slow. The speaker does not
seem able to warm up to the subject
Netr OrieHIiS Picdyiutc.
"PmsICIAN, heal myself" is an in
junction promulgated centuries ago,
and now some of the older pra titioners
are pretty well haeled. Idea.
THERE never was n day, even in New
England. s. fine and beautiful that
srmo one couldn't spoil i with
wretched pun. S0merrjtie Jonrnol
LAWYER ito little boyl-Where did
you learn to tell such outrageous lies?
Boy passed your otfica one day when
the window was open. -4rcOlH RecOrd.
They were taking about the Allan
tie cable. 1T reminds me of good
egg" he said. "a good egg?" why,
yes; being SO successfully laid. =
ocean.
CARRIE" writ, to know What is
the most attractive way of wearing the
hair" On the head, Carrie; and be
sure it is pinned tight BtUlinytOn
Free Press.
HE-How beautiful Miss Arrow
smiths la * hair is! She-Ies. Much
prettier than her front hair. | wonder
sh > didn't get it all al the sane place.
Hd1per'S Bazar.
REMBRANDT SMITH HELD, old fell
low, how are you prospering? Painting
many portraits now? Nela 3quez Jones
Well, yes; I'm gett ng head pretty
we'll nowadays Boston Post.
A GUEST at Western hotel rails I'd a
row because there was no cover on his
bed and H., wouldn't be quiet until the
landlord was compe!le t. cover him
with revolver JIdShinJton Post.
EDISON has no doubt got good
thing in h $ phonograph, but we can
ram , a dozen women otf-hl md who can
Civ it twenty-five minuie sat and
discount it without a stpp.-DeroU
Free Press.
AN experienced person says thai
when young man attempts to kiss his
girl, and she says Don't" that is tn
time he should Don't veral times,
if not more. She will no. be pleased
ii he doesn't
81 HOPE You apprec;at, the fact,
sir, that in marrying my daughter
you marry larg hearted, generous
girl" II do, sir" with emotion; "and [
hope she inherits those qualities from
her father. "-LU".
Mr.. BIBBER next mornin9l my
he ad 1t is wonder that n man will
put an eI emv into his mouth t. steal
away hi, ans. Mrs Bib II If that's
what Won did it for, Bibb,r, | think the
enemy 80 ha1ly left Tetrc Ho1,'e
Express.
QrEvEDo-I see the savants are
about t. investigate the causes of yell
low fever in the South. Miss Foote
(Ch.clgo) -HOw noble! But ! don't
remember t. have met them. Are they
North Side family?-PtiImieiph 4
CIR.
A FASHION writer tells how Il woman
may make her elf look tall or Short at
will by regula ing the vast of her
dress. She will not look short if she
wears long waist; but it may have
been noticed that big waste in woman
has made husbands look "short."
LONDON, with a population of over
5000, 900. has a death tate of 10. per
1,O1O inhabitants. while the death rate
OF New York, with a population less
thln 2,0Oo.00D is IL arly double those
tigur $. But there are n bobtail
sire ct ears in London. -NotriStOlcN
Hcyuid.
HERBERr-R ally, Miss Edith, l am
very sorry | kiss d you. | didn't think
what | was dong 1t is a sort of tenn
porary insanity. Mis-, Edith Cpitying-
lv)-If YOU ever feel alv more slch
attacks coming ON You lad bett come
right here, where your i ltirmity is
known and we will take care of you.-
Judge.
"CAN YOU tell m, where the autom-
atom chess player iS?" aSkela gentle
man of an attendant at the Centennial
Exposition. "Do We: name the tigger
that plays games by its IF an yez can't
see anybody workin' it? Eyes, that's
what / mean" Wei, ye'd be ather
wait bit He's zone out to dinner
now. . Merchant TrID' r.
WISDOM IN DIsTICHs.
Wisely n woman prcfers lover to II man who
neglects her.
This one NAV love her some day some Gay ths
lover viii! no.
There are three speci - of c-ea. ures who when
they seem coming are go,nt,
When the en- going they COM Diplomats,
No and crabs.
Pleasures TOO hls.il, ttst'd grow 5weeter in
fond r &C election.
As tn, pom srapate pllcAel green ripens far
o"cr he H.
As the me * beaS il the "a zen came flo kin,
for Adam II name them.
Mtn for n title tDda crawl to tie f'e, o. Il king.
Whit il frs: love TO-, except to prepare for
What does tn, se,on love bring? Only regret
for he first
--NeLFdskI Sttt' JOHlHdi.
- ,fa ia EmnIav