Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-11-22
FANPARES SACRIFICE.

was an easy going old boy. don't think
that at any period Of his career he would ever
have set the Thames on fire IL be had tried;
but | am very, very certain that he never did
try. The Fanfares were not a rich family:
they had been courtiers for generations, and
| don't think they got much out of It. Old
Fanfare himself. when he only held the com
phmentary title OF Lord Tootle, had been a
royal page, and had commenced life as a
courtier; then he went into the guards; and
then he did the wisest thing be ever did in his
life, he bolted with the daughter OF the late
proprietor Of the Methuseah Dill. and he
came into a hundred thousand pounds and
the business Then young Lord Tootle sold
out of the guarC&, and settled down at the
age OF Is, getting as much fun as possible out
OF his wife's fortune and the Methuselah pill
Lord Fanfare was not unkind to his wife; at
first he was quite a pattern husband, but
gradually GOODNESS arose between them, for
poor Lady Fanfare failed 10 present him with
an heir
At the end of ten years, however, the little
Lord Tootle was born, and at his birth his
mother died, and from that time forward
Lord Fanfare devoted himself to the rearing
and education of little Lord Tootle. Many
were the traps set for that willy old bird,
Lord Fanfare. Mothers cringed TO him,
daughters smiled at him, widows ogled him,
musical girls played at him, vocal girls
squalled at him; but all in vain Lord Fan
fare wasn't marrying man. and the ladies
had their labor for their pains. They resent
ed that, the dear creatures-of course they
did, and then they had their revenge 1t was
Lady Kitty Candour who set it going. |
mean that il was Lady Kitty who first start
cd Of -.
You've only got TO look at him." people
said, land you'll see that it's true at a glance.
Why, be dyes his hair and he wears a chin
tuft-al very wicked old men dive their hair
and wear chin tufts. He goes to Tattersalls
regularly, he's very thick with theatrical
people, he's member of the Pandemonium
club, and, 10 crown his iniquity, he's direc
tor OF music hall company"
why does he dress a. II he were a tailor's
advertisement said Lady Drumthwackit,
whose penniless daughter Hilda had tried
very hard indeed for the old gentleman and
had miserably failed.
And he paints, ma, | know he does, cried
the artleSs Hilda, ''or how could he have the
complexion Of youth Of lSr
"He has wonderful complexion, ~ replied
her mother, but he needn't have Dragged of
It TO all tho world
Now, the fact was that Lord Fanfare kept
his connection with the Methuselah pill very
dark indeed, but he had a wonderful com
pleNion, and being fond OF joke and liking
20 do stroke Of business at the same time
he had allowed the omnibuses to literally
bristle with his portrait, beneath which was
the Following ridiculous advertisement:
Il am Is today. and vet, thanks 20 the Ne
thuselah pill, ms complexion is that OF a boy
OF l7.-Fanfare
You can't doubt the word OF peer of the
realm, you know, and the sale Of the Methu.
selah pill was vastly increased
The fact Is that Lord Fanfare wore a chin
tuft simply because chin tufts were in fash
ion when he was young bachelor In the
guards; be went 20 Tattersalls simply 10
cause he'd gone to TattersalI's all his life; h.
was director OF a music hall company be,
cause he was a large shareholder, and because
he liked the little directorial suppers, aud l-,-
cause in music hall matters he was a very
showing Old boy indeed.
Lord Fanfare aud his friend and co-dirsct-
or, Mr.. David Psalmanszar, were sitting IN
the directors box at the International Pal
ace OF Varieties, each with BrObi!ngnaCiau
opera glass ia his hand, and they were star
ing intently at the stage, upon which the
three talented sisters, Laura, Cora and Dora
Flarer, were going through their well known
They're dirt cheap at a hundred a week.
remarked Mr.. David Psalmanezar Why,
half the chappies ia town are over head and
-ars In love with them, and they have u
drink unlimited WHISTLES and sodas our
and sofas, " he added, with a laugh
to drown their sorrows; and there ain't a
iouot, said Fsaimanezar, who was vulgar
man, with a chuckle, THAT they're Summers
and that Lauras the stunningest of the three;
but don't think ! should care for her as .
continued Mr. Psalman-
szar
NO, think | should draw the line there" |
'emarked his lordship
Then why ON earth don't Won sion fty, re-
'lled Mr. Psalmanezar.
''Stop itl' cried his Iordship '.Stop whatr' |
fouve always been a good pal to me,
'anfare,' remarked Psalmanezar; tits no |
business Of mine, but they do saw. Fanfare
ny boy, that Spindles Is going to marry herr |
Now, Spindles was "a nickname that had
cen bestowed upon young George Blowhard
called Lord Tootle. as the newspa.
ers say; his fellow chappies called him
pindles behind his back and 10 his face, be-
very thin, long legs.
"Dou't chaff," said his lordship. aagriIv
I'm not chatting replied hi, friend ana
o-director; that's the talk here, and be
eve lisa straight tip, old man"
l'm immensely obleeged to YOU, I'm sure
aid his lordship. He was an old fashioned /
and be always said obleeged. for |
he same reason that he wore a chin tuft-uot |
'ecause Of his natural wickedness, but be |
ause it was the fashion in his young dayA
And then Lord Fanfare bounced out of the |
Palace of Varieties a. though |
ed been frog jumping out Of hot frying |
an
Next morning he sent for his son.
George" he said, addressing Lord Tootle,
when die you'll be rich man"
we won't talk about that, father said
ord Tootle. and he said IL sincerely. for the
Dung man, though ''chappie" was fond of
Is father
You know what the position is. George"
aid Lord Fanfare, very seriously Fan
are castle is entailed; it costs thousand a
ear to keep up You might, perhaps, let it
Or e3OO. and you can't sell it. To a poor
ian, George, tue castle is just a white ele-
hant. II you offend me, ToOtle," said his
'rdship severely, you'll be a paupar Now,
r." cried Lord Fanfare, In tremendous
dice, whats ali this hear about Laura
'larerf"
Father" said Lord Tootle, in frightened
lhtsper, I've asked her to marry me, and
le,A hesitating because I've nothing to settle.
nd hines only a courtesy title"
Then for a full half hour did Lord Fanfare
lternatelJ retreat. bully and argue
But George Blowhard, commonly called
ORD Iootie, stood to his guns
Then his father lost his temper. "Out of
" presence, sirP he cried. an. lock Won
p, III apply for a lunacy commission. Dam.
le, sirP added the old nan theatricaIly
I'll save you in spite OF yourself. or-or m
irish In the attemptP
Next afternoon Lord Fanfare called upon
Iiss Laura Flarer at her bijou residence in
ulham
The lady received him very graciouslv
Charmed to know you" she said, ''charrnsd
know you-take a cheer"
And then Lord Fanfare took n "cheern and
Irefully studied Miss Flarer through mis-
'eglass.
will you have a b. and s. r. said the lady
no was Hospitality inclined.
But Lord Fanfare declined refreshments
Iootle tells me, madame" said his lord
Up, coming TO the point ut once that hs
- offered TO marry youn