The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1889-11-29
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Its Editor Announces That Business IL
still Going On ut the Old Stand.

THE ARIZONA KICKER.
tt Editor Announces That Business 10
Still Going On at the Old Stand.
DON'T BLAME HIM.-Last Tuesday
night the city treasurer of this town
jumped out with all tho public moneys
he could lay hands on. The aggregate
sum was only $65, but no one should
blame him for skipping out with that
small sum. 1t was all he could get,
and he had become so disguised at hav-
ing to associate with the members OF
the commoncouncil that he would have
probably gone with $25.
FUN AREAD.-Ald. OGrady didn't
take our remarks of last week in the
right spirit. We called him thlet'
liar and drunkard and instead Of ad-
hitting the charges like gentleman
he INDUCES in threats OF personal vlo-
lence. Come on. Mr.. OGrady! Well
try and make it lively for you. And,
by the way, while on this subject, we
feel to observe that of all the corrupt,
dishonest, knavish, drunken public
bodies ever convened in a room to-
gether our town council caps the eli
max. Next week we shall begin war
of determination on these vipers, and
if the fur don t fly it won't be our fault.
A NOvELTY.-We learn that Mr..
James Shields, of Omaha, has pur-
chased lot on Apache avenue and
intends to build and open hardware
store. This will be a novelty. Not
that we haven't hardware store in
town, but the idea of man opening
store here instead of saloon will
strike our people queerly. The saloon
interest needn't be alarmed, however.
We know of at least six new ones which
will open this fall to help control the
political campaign.
IT CAN'T BE DONE NOw.-For a year
or more after we struck this town we
could be kicked and cuffed with per-
feet impunity, even by low-dOwn
Indian. We were knocked down,
booted up and down the street, and
had our nose pulled out of shape two
or three times per week, and we never
thought of resisting. We were a tender
foot of the tenderfoOtedest sort, and it
was question whether we should pull
through or not. Let some one attempt
to tweak our nose to-day! The offer OF
a hundred dollars in cash wouldn't
tempt a man in town to try it on. We
are no longer a tenderfoot. The man
who sets out to lift" us now has got
to beat chain lightning. Every chap
who has piled into us for the last ten
months has had to be carried off on a
shutter, and two of them, as the town
records show, sleep peacefully among
the daisies.
IT MELTED Us.-It is we'll known all
over town we have held a mortgage for
the last three months on the entire out.
fit of our contemporary. 1t covers every
thing but his own worthless carcass.
and can be foreclosed any minute. This
being the case, we are often asked why
we don't take possession when that
blotch on journalism refers to us in
such endearing terms as "Jackass,
''liar," 'hypocrite" and so forth. We
did 60 over one day last week calculat-
ing to turn him out OH the sand hills
but he fell to weeping and melted u.s.
While it seems hard for man to be
abused by his own property, we haven
the heart to kick away the barrel
And, besides, he runs such an abjec1
apology for a weekly newspaper, that
The Kicker receives hosts of compli.
ments by comparison. We are not 60
ing to be mean with him-not unless
he quits abusing us and tries to publish
good paper.
A NEW DEPARTMENT. AS will be
noticed by all our subscribers we add
a new department to the Kicker this
week-that of forecasting the weather
We have arranged a signal office or
the roof or our own building. and shall
take observations hourly. We have
also purchased a map of the United
States, and have arranged pro
gramme by which we expect nine
tenths of our predictions to be verified
This has been lOng-felt want in this
locality. and the enterprise of the
Kicker will no doubt be duly appre-
ciated.
We shall start out at slow pace and
do no rushing until the harness fits
we'll Our first prediction: Clearer
warmer, cloudy. cool; may rain and may
not is sort of feeler, and we dc
not advise any of our readers to give
up fishing excursion or a Sunday
school picnic on account of it. W.
hope in time to get used to the hang o.
the thing, and after we have we will
guarantee to beat the government out
of sight or wear one shirt all winter
Detroit Free Fress.
How Quicksand Is Erozen.