The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1889-06-14
HUMOROUS.

Love is blind. they say. Before
marriage he certainly is, and after
marriage he needs to be.-SomervilIe
Journal.
-Patient-'Tm not afraid TO die.
doctor, but L do dread being buried
alive" Doctor tcheerfully)-''Don'
let that worry you I'll see that you
amt
-Scene-A lonely spot on a dark
night Would the gentleman be so
kind as to assist poor man? Besides
this revolver, have nothing in this
wide, wide world to call my own. -
Boston Saturday Gazette.
The second period of the earth's
existence, which is to end with the GO
ing out of the suns light, will ter
inmate in about thirteen million years.
We speak of this matter in time SO
that our friends may get in their hay,
-Martha's Vineyard Herald
On the Other Side-The Countess
of Carlsea-'It won't be long, my
dear, before you'll lose that slight
American twang and become a thor.
ough-going Briton." Her daughter
in-law-"Hi 'opes you think Hi am
trying me best, me Teddy Judge.
Still come the yarns by wire and mail
OF men q century old
Whose sight has not begun 70 fail
Whose step is light and bold: -.
Who take their ten-mile morning walks
Then nimbly dance a jig.
And split a cord OF hickory blocks
While the wind blows through their wig.
AOn City Blizzard
Angelica, you mustn't ask Mr..
Finlay Place into the parlor. You
know we are all torn up with house
cleaning" well, he won't mind
that" But there is only one chair
in the room" "Oh, that doesn't make
any difference. mamma" - Toledo
Blade.
You poor little boy! On the
streets in rags such day as this.
Have you no home?" Yes m, live,
in that house on the other side OF the
street" you have no mother, have
you, little child?' ''Yes'm; she and
forty other women are in there now
making embroidered nightgowns for
the Zulus. Chicago Tribune.
Wicked Boarder (on Sunday
You do not read Sunday papers. be-
lieve. Mrs. DeGoode?" Mrs. DeGoode
(severely) mo-, / do not, and / am
grieved to find that you do.'' Il was
only going to say that this copy Of
Sunday Scandal has a two-column ac-
count of that minister who was arrest
ed for improper" "Oh, if there is
any thing in the paper about minis
ters, that's different Thank you. -
Philadelphia Record.
SO you want place on the
staff?' inquired the editor of a comic
paper. Have you had any expert
ence?" Not on a regular paper"
replied the applicant; "but / have
been cracking jokes all my life.'
''Umph!' returned the editor. ANY
references?'' Nobody except Miss
Giggle," he answered, with a blush;
''she once said l was too funny for
any thing" elm that case 1 guess
you're too funny for us" Puck.
bobby has been imparting to the
minister the important and cheerful
information that his father has got a
new set of false teeth. Indeed.
Bobby, replied the minister, indul-
gently; land what viii he do with The
old set?' "Oh, i s'poso,'' replied
Bobby, they'll cut 'eln down and
make me wear 'em. III Harper's Bazaar.
Friend Ito sick mani -"Dan' YOU
lind the long days lonesome, John.
confined as you are TO your bed and
easy chair2 Sick mani Lonesome.
friend? That doesn't express it. Why.
the gas collector called this afternoon
with "A six months gas bill, and paid
the bin and put my arms around his
nSea and called him brother IN. Y.
/ Sun.
brother Dumley. do you suppose
can get your wife TO give our Young
Ladies Domestic Economy Association
an address on housekeeping or some
thing of that sort? Her books and
magazine articles are so much ad-
mired that / think she must talk de
lightfully." 'Oh, lawsi my wife can't
talk" g why, what's the matter with
! her?o 4 Shes all write. F"