Wichita eagle., 1889-02-01
6sSMlLIz~
1ai1Y eagle
LIFE AT OXFORD.
Why a Young American Found
the University UncongeniaL
Frigidity at Dinner and Tea-How the
Personal Ways of the English Stu
dents Struck a Graduate of an
American College.
IN. Y. Tribune.l

". 7. Tribune.J
Six weeks ago a young New Yorker OF
wealth and promise bade his friends good
bye on Cunard steamer and sailed away
for England. Filled with admiration for
the classic traditions and stored fame OF
Oxford, he had determined to seek the
'higher education of three years course
at the old university on the banks of Isis
Alma Mater of SO many of Albion's poets,
scholars and statesmen, and, as the revela-
tons of Tom Brown and Mr. Vernon Green
inform US, of not few Of Albion's DULLES
and blockheads.
To the great surprise OF his friends this
New Yorker returned to his native shores a
few days ago, and, in reply to their won
dering queries, he gave the following e1-
PLANTATION of his sudden desertion Of Ok
ford's classic shades:
The place. the men and the methods of
study were so entirely different from the
picture my fond fancy painted that it was
absolutely impossible for me to linger
after the first fortnight. This brief ex-
perience sufficed to convince me that Amer
lea was good enough soil for my young idea
to sprout in; so back came. But let me
tell you the whole story.
when we arrived in Liverpool l was met
by the chap with whom 1 expected to chum
and we went directly to Oxford. My chum
was an American but he had become very
English and disapproved strongly Of my
apparel, so / was kept in seclusion until
suitable clothes were being made for me in
which might make my first appearance en-
regle. Finally / was declared respectable
My friend had adopted me as protege and
without consulting him l never opened my
mouth for fear Of revealing the deplorable
fact that was an American. He informed
me that he had arranged q dinner and
had invited a number of the cleverest
men of Oxford tp meet me. By
this time l had attained such an
exalted idea of every thing English that l
had been prevailed upon TO get rid of a
bald-headed eagle on a perch, long cher
ished by me as q memento Of an early
shooting experience, and to substitute
therefor plaster cast of the lion and uni
corn fighting for the crown. TO return TO
the dinner: My chum sent out formal invi-
tations, which in turn were accepted with
great ceremony, Wallets bringing the an
swers to our rooms, even in instances
where their masters lodged directly across
the hall from our rooms. The suspicious
evening arrived and the guests, after TAX
lng O Z their wraps IN an outer room filed
into the dining-room, where they were pre-
scented 10 me, each giving a stiff bow as his
name was mentioned. Then we sat down and
dinner was served in a style which, | must
acknowledge, far surpasses any thing we
ga Il IN in
next TO me, and who was reputed to be an
exceedingly clever fellow, said nothing
through the first two courses, and finally,
it devolved upon me to open the
inquired about the courses
at Oxford, mentioning that [ intended to
take one devoted mostly to Greek Mr.
GleverInan, turning on me a stony stare,
asked how much Greek l had read. named
over the parts of Euripides, Eschylus and
Plato that l had gone over, mentioning
with some pride that had read a little Of
Sappho.
- Yes, he had studied those authors when
he was preparing to enter the university,
but he had no doubt there were some men
still reading them, and possibly l might be
able to join them. With this he turned to
ice again, and devoted his wit and intellect
to making the best of his dinner. There
were no speeches or songs or other frivolity
Of that kind.
. They were all afraid e losing their
dignity, or possibly they may think that
wit is ill-bred. At any rate we all stared
at one another throughout the whole meal.
and now and then one man would turn to
his neighbor and make some remark about
his studies, the politics of England or the
foreign wars
" From this it might be supposed that
they were teetotalers, but never saw men
drink so like fishes; wine parties at Yale
are nothing at all in comparison to them
The strangest part of it was that the more
they drank the sitter they became; it was
Is if the wine concealed into icicles and
from every pore. / now know
why the English are SO fond of brandy
and soda in hot weather; it makes them
cold. Another of their amusements is
afternoon teas Men of any pretension to
fashion always attend on these occasions,
and stand around while the tea is being
made over the eoen fire. They then drink
it in formal style, making a few solemn
remarks TO one another, and finally
depart, leaving with you a feeling that you
must have been floating on an iceberg in
the neighborhood of the Northwest pass
age. 1t was at one of these afternoon teas
that met two of the nobility, Lord Pelham
Clinton and a companion, who had been in
vted to meet me. They were very pink
checked and looked bit like overgrown
babies, but they were not quite as dismal as
the commonerS.
Il suppose the reason that these fellows
seem so dreary is that they have SO little
liberty. The gates of the college are closed
1t nine, and if you spend the night out of
,he college you run the risk of being found
'ut and reported to the proctor. The men
are so closely watched that they have no
'hance to have any fun, and if man once
gets expelled there is no chance of his get
ing back either at Oxford or any other of
he English colleges. Altogether / was
pretty well disguised and longed TO get
,ack to some sensible American college
where the men really live and enjoy life
instead OF shutting themselves up like a
ortoise. intend to have q general dinner
lext week to which want all the bows to
ONE, and though it may not be English,
-ou know / expect all my guests to talk,
ing, make speeches, and even dance If they
vishn
The Parrot at Home.
/" Come in" the noisy parrot bawled
When the parson knocked at the door.
Take of vorr hat - stFor goodness sake -,