Connecticut western news., 1889-11-13
GETTING A DRINK.

GETTING A DRINK.
 There are more ways, saith the old adage, of killing dog than by choking it with butter. It may also be truly said that no man ever died of thirst in prohibition state. was lying on sofa the other day, luxuriously enveloped in sheet, in the cooling room of Turkish bath establishment. There were two others who were also cooling off, and right here beg to state, for fear of mis- understanding about the matter, that the reason was there was to get rid of a cold that had just started, and which, if generally taken in time, is arrested by means of a Turkish bath. l regret to say, however, that rarely get there in time. One of the men had not come in to get rid of cold. He had had no sleep for a couple of nights, he said, and was feeling rather under the weather. believe that somewhere uptown there had been an all-night poker game, with the accompaniments of stimnlants, and this victim of poker had felt rather rocky, and so went to Turkish bath to sort of revive him. "See here," he said to the attendant, s1 want you to send out and get me good whisky cocktail"
 The attendant looked aghast.
 ''My dear sir" he said s'that is not allowed in this establishment"
 "What is not allowed9" asked the man.
 "We are not allowed to send out for any liquors."
 "Well," said the cooler of, in tones of deep disgust, ..this is fine bathing establishment"
 "Yes, sir," said the attendant, cit is considered the finest in town."
 stIn town?'' cried the other. s.In the village, you mean. Why, it's the only place in the United States that man can't send out and get what he wants. tell you I've got to have a whisky cocktail, and I am going to have it."
 "Oh, you can have it all right" answered the attendant.
 "Very well, then, want it just now" .-...
 "You can have it all right, but not till after you get out"
 "Now, see here," said the man, in an insinuating tone of voice, "there is a dollar in this thing for you. You send out on the quiet and get me whisky cocktail. It will be all right, nobody will ever know anything about it."
 'I can't do it," said the attendant. "It's strictly against orders and, be- sides, the proprietor wouldn't allow it. It's no use, you had better go to sleep"
 "Where is the proprietor?"
 ''He's in the next room. I'll call him, if you like"
 "Well, wish you would do so. want to see what the reason is for such an idiotic arrangement as that. This is the first Turkish bath place that l was ever in that I couldn't get what ] wanted"
 The proprietor came ill and was very suave and soothing, but he was perfectly firm on the liquor question. No whisky cocktails could get into the doors of that establishment, not while he was proprietor.
 The up-all-night man pleaded and begged and swore, and threatened never to come there again, and tried to appeal to the proprietor's better nature but it was no go. No whisky would be allowed in the cooling room. The man thought deeply for a while and finally again sent for the proprietor.
 "Say," he asked, "have you a tele phone here?"
 ooh, yes," answered the owner o1 the place.
 dsWell, I wish you would do me tn, kindness to ring up my friend, Jacol Strauss. Tell Jake, when you ge him, that I'm here at your bathing es tablishment and I can't get down fo an hour. I'll him to postpone tha appointment for another hour a least."
 "All right. What did you say tn name wasp
 "Strauss-Jacob Strauss"
 "All rigbte."
 The proprietor seemed all the nor anxioas to please his guest as he hat had to refuse him the necessities O. life short time before. But after while he came into the cooling room and said, as he held the telephon book in his hand:
 "I can't find any Jacob Straus here."
 "Oh, he must have a telephone, said the bather.
 aIt isn't in the book, then"
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