St. Paul daily globe., 1889-02-18
!" THE HELP WE HIRE. !"
The Woes and Misfortunes From the
Kitchen.
Wall OF A HOUSEHOLDER.
Changing Kitchen Mechanics for Cause
With Almost Every
Moon.

! Our Jane has climbed the golden stair.
i.And passed the pearly gates;
Hencetorth she will have wings to wear,
Instead of roller skates.
The above quotation is sweet balm TO
my soul, as it gives me faint hope that
some time the James, Sarahs, Lizzies,
lngas and the rest, who have been max
ing my life burden, may attempt to
light the fire with kerosene, and go
skimming skyward without the formal
ity of dying beforehand. All hired
girls may not be alike, though, and if
some one will cause an angel of light to
drop down at my humble domicile, L
will rise up and call him or her, as the
case may be, blessed, and better than
earthly beings generally are.
The first girl we had was an Amer
lean who responded to the somewhat
peculiar name of Clara Belle Euphenia.
Her hair was symphony in red and
tow, while her face was of that degree
of beauty which causes clocks to stop
and freight trains to jump the track.
Dinner was served all right the first
day, but there was lurking suspicion
on my part that Clara was not pleased
with something. At supper time the
storm came in all its fury.
'.Mrs. Brownipg," said Clara, as she
slammed plate of toast down on the
table. Il did not come here to work. Ii
| am going to stay here | must be made
one of the family. / do not propose to
eat at the second table. l am not
working girl, and don't you forget it"
THE NEXT FAITHFUL
domestic who appeared upon the scene
said her name was Carrie, and that she
knew all about household affairs. She
did-in her mind. For three long days
l shaved for that girl, brought in wood
for her, cooked the meals, and even
made her bed. For some reason this
was not entirely satisfactory to the
girl. who demanded one evening that L
lend her nv best silk dress to attend a
barkeepers' ball in. l objected, and
our household angel gave warning then
and there. After she had gone it was
found that the festive damsel had taken
with her two dresses belonging to me,
half dozen of Mr.. BTowning's handker-
chiefs, and two bottles of perfumery.
The third one
WAS A TREASURE,
we thought. She could be induced to eat
nothing at the table. and during the
night there was not a sound issued from
her room. In the morning she gener-
ally looked dull and sleepy, but this she
accounted for by saying that she had
been reading the night before. In some
mysterious way pies, cakes, fruit and
bottles of wine began to disappear. Our
light hearted gazelle knew nothing of
it, not she, and she remarked iii sad
tone that she hoped we did not think
she had taken anything. A few morn
ings later Mr. Browning had some busi-
ness at the police court. While there
our dainty domestic was brought in and
fined so for being disorderly and drunk
on the street. She saw MIR. Browning
in the audience and flew to him for the
money. He was soft enough to pay 1T,
but the girl has not been seen siEce. In
looking around her room we found any
number of missing pie plates and empty
wine bottles.
Annie was the name of the next
young woman whom we paid $3.50 a
week for
G. BOARDING AND WAITING ON.
{ The first day she was in thu house she
sauntered in with towel tied around
her head, seated herself at the piano
and began to play a piece known as
John, Obtain Your Firearm." As
there was company in the house at the
time, this trifiing episode created some
thing of a sensation. Mr.. Browning
was on the point of leaving for his office
after dinner when Annie rushed up to
him and said:
"Say. George, wish you would tell
the old lady to bring in some wood and
stay home this evening, for want to
90 to dance. She amt too nice to
work. even if she has white hands and
sits around in the parlor."
We excused this Oh the ground OF ig-
norance. but when Annie began going
out every afternoon and evening, and
leaving me to do all the work, we drew
the line, and told the girl she must find
another place to reside.
OUR NEXT VENTURE
was with a young girl who had just
come from Norway. She could not
speak one word of English, and had
lust about as much idea of the eternal
fitness of things as retired politician
h as of remaining permanently retired.
1t was continual circus for Mr..
Browning to see me endeavor to make
that girl understand when and how. to
get the meals. Sometimes we got1t,
but more often we did not. To all that
was said to her, the girl simply an
SWered:
''Jah."
Just what she meant by that we did
not know, nor did we care. One day
the domestic came in, and, by going
through lot Of pantOmime, made me
understand that she wanted to go to
funeral. MI. Browning remarked that
he was sorry it was not her own funeral
she wanted to attend. Well, Annie
went to the funeral, and on her return
let us understand that if there was any
one thing she liked it was attending
funeral, especially where the person
had died of some contagious disease.
That settled it, and now Annie is no
longer with US.
THE LAST GIRL WE HAD
we were obliged to dismiss because she
wanted to pray all the time. She was
the only girl we had who did pray, but
her praying was enough for all put to-
gether. On demonstrating with her she
gave it out that she could not stop, as
she was praying that a certain grocery
firm in the city might be ruined, be-
cause she had obtained some musty
eggs there once. She would pray i'll
any room where the fit seized her, and
would neglect her work to drop on her
knees and pray. She kept it up one
week and then we had to let her go.
Now we have a Chinaman, and Mr..
Browning threatens to kill him if he
does not drop all his foolishness and at