, 1889-02-15

place, he asked II he did not think Boston a
fine city.
"Yes, it is very nice" said the Pennsyl-
yania man, but | do not him It is so well
laid out as Philadelphia"
mo" rejoined the Bostonian, but it will
be when It is rs dead as Philadelphia
CHAPTER XIX
by his discovery of America, Christopher
Columbus has furnished tho old world with
M incxhhustible source Of amusing novelties.
You pass from the curious to the marvellous,
from the marvellous to tho incredible, from
the Incredible to the impossible realized
But 1t is to American Journalism that the
palm must be awarded
The first thing that attracts your attention
Is the titles OF the articles The smallest bits
OF news cannot escape your notice, thanks to
these wonderful headlines 1t requires n
special genius for the work to DO able to hit
upon such eye ticklerS.
The death of Mrs. Garfield, mother of the
Int president, wns announced with the head
ing;
DEATH or GRANDMA GARFIELD.
The marriage OF NJ. Maurice Bernhardt;
sARAH's 10Y EAD HIS BRIDE TO THE ALTAR
The execution Of n criminal was announced
by n Chicago paper under the heading;
JERKED To JESUS.
The reports OF two divorce cases at Chi
cage were entitled respectively
TIRED OF WILLIAM
MRS. cARTER FINDS FAULT wITh HER HUs-
BANDS KISSING.
An article on Prince Bismarck was headed
In large letters, BISMARCK WITHDRAws.
Just underneath in very small print was:
'His resignation rs chancellor Of the German
empire"
The marriage Of young Earl Cairns, who
had been betrothed several times, was nm
nounced to tho American ladies thus;
GARMoYLE CAuGH AT LAST.
While | was in tho United States the
papers were constantly speaking of a certain
financier named Jacob Sharp. Accused of
fraudulent dealings, this gentleman had been
arrested, but subsequently, released untried.
The pres INDUCED in much common on the
matter, and such.remarks us; A mortals
have their trials except 6nnnciers."
Ono morning the newspapers were obliged
to desist from their attacks; poor jacob had
lNH'A oNhl ApAh - ~
The sam day l mot the editor of one Of
the large daily papers.
''Wcll,nI said, there is a fine occasion for
a grand head line Tomorrow; you aro not
going to let it slip, l supposer'
WHAT do you mean%
How can you nski Why, Jacob gone up
tho ladder, Of COURSE
"SplcndidIr no exclaimed.
"Shamo on thee, my dear editor, thou
didst not find that one"
81 must hnvo it. How much will you take
for itrn
an make you n present OF it," / said.
Next morning the death of the financier
was told in two columns, headed;
JACOB GONE UP THE ODE
II ever | wanted to apply for a journal
itic post in America this would DO my most
weighty Recommendation in the eyes OF my
future chief.
This is how one American reporter made a
reputation at a bound. The Chicago people
are still proud to tell the story:
The young fellow was taking a walk ono
evening in a retired part of tho town, on the
lookout for what adventure history does not
say. An at once a human form lying mo
tionless on the ground attracted tho sight Of
our hero. He drew near to it, stopped down,
and found it to DO corpse. His first i'm.
pulse was TO Immediately seek a policeman
and tell him Of the discovery. But u second
idea came, it was more practical, and no
adopted it This was it:
His paper comes out ut Q in the afternoon,
50 that by running straight to tho police sta.
ton he would be making the matter public,
and furnishing his brother reporters with a
column or two for their morning papers 1t
Is a catch, this corpse, and not TO be lightly
given away. What todoi Simply this. Our
journalist drags tho body into an empty
building near at hand, and carefully hides it.
AT II next morning he discovers 1t by chance,
goes as fast us possible to mako his DECLARE
ton to the police, and then hastens away to
the office of his newspaper with two columns
of description written over night At .
O'Clock the paper announce: mysterious
murder in Chicago; discovery of the victim
by one Of our reportersIn
The morning papers were outdone, the
evening ones nowhere.
An American newspaper is a conElomera-
ton Of news, political, literary, artistic,
scientific and fashionable, Of reports OF trials,
OF amusing anecdotes, gossip of oil kinds, in
terviews, jokes, scandal, the whole written in
n style which sometimes shocks the man of
taste, but which often interests, and always
amuseS
literary celebrity of Boston said to mt
one day: 81 am ashamed of our American
press We have only two papers In the coun.
try that l do not blush for, and those are The
Boston Post and The Evening Post, of New
York"
| must say that, if you want to hear
America and everything American severely
criticised, you have only to go to Boston.
There you will hear Boston and England
maisel and America picked,tp pieces.
How can parents allow their children tc
cough and strain and cough and calmly