The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-04


i wouldn T." she answered quite grim:
ana then, as he fired up slightly
She gave the coal shoulder to him.
Washington Critic.
A DEqDER sDsAwBAcK.-. "Gracious." ex-
claimed Mrs. Baekwooas the paper saws that
the fashionable folks in N York have $ O'CLOCK
tea. They must get awful hungry afore bed
time. "-HGrIer's Bazar
Our valued townsipan Benjamin P. Hutchin-
son, vulgarly called ''Old Hutch " attended the
nrst performance of Little Lord Fauntleroy''
night before last, and wept like hired girl
grating horseradish.-Chi Morning Nelos
Mr.. HoBBs--I see that Newport pa farmer
has hairless calf on exhibition. What a re-
markable freak that is.
Mrs. Hobbs-Remarkable: Why, you're bald
headeo yourself, John.--MtnnedpoIis Tribune.
Mrs. HAsHcRoFT- you ever see any of
tins ieatherette, Mr.. Billings, the latest substi-
tute for leather?
Biliings-I have often seen leather ct as a sub-
SQtute Tor pie crust, Mrs Hashcroft.-Terre
Hdute Express.
NDIANAPoIIs TAILoR-Have you any further
suggestion, sir, about your trousers?
Indiana man Observation-Disclosures You,d
peter fortlfy the seats with some extra cloth
expect to go on to Washington in a day or two
to see the President.-BoStoR Courier
ANOTHER dress suit suicide" occurred last
week, THIS time in Chicago. In addition to the
regulation dress suit the unhappy man had
arrayed himself in a brand new shirt With
such combination of miseres the cause for
the rash act is not hard TO guess.-Terre Hduke
Express.
THERE is an unusual depression in the sardine
market We wonder if this is the result of tn
remark of that distinguished ex Statesman
Hon. Tim Campbell who asked his neighbor at
Secretary Whitney's luncheon to pass him an.
other OF them CREASED fish. Baltimore
american.
NOT STRONG RECOMMENDATIONS "Vbv T
a
cry for it."
That may be. 1t proves nothing. NV bow
cried for woolly horse with red legs yester
day, and L am quite certain thai woollV horse
with red legs wouldn't cure him of the collie, -
-Hofper'S BGzdr.
DEACON GoDFREY-What a beautiful d;snan-
satior of Providence it is that the mind of man
has been so constituted that the memory of
pain and trouble becomes fainter and fainter as
times go on. ~
DIR. Bowless-It's pretty tough on us doctors.
though, when we come to collect our bills
Terre Hdltte Express
FORCE OF HABIT.-The tired-lookine little
school ma'am had been obliged to give up She
had to remain away from her duties and sum
mon physician. Your liver is out of order ;,
said he gravely. "Out of orderln she repeated
in mechanical tone, Stay after school for
nIteen minutes ana lose your recess for the re-
mainder of the weak.-MerchGnt Traveller.
In many parts of China the bibles pivap r.
the natives by the missionaries are used in the
manufacture of cheap boot soles--which are
not the kind of souls the Bible is intended IT,
benefit. But the heather in his blindness doesnt
know any better. Now in America it is differ.
emit. In many parts of this country Bibles are
used for pressing ferns and autumn leaves. and
are frequently placed on a childs chair to ele
vate the little Consideration Herald.
THE MAN who does not have his mind with
him when it is most wanted is not much
better equipped than the man W no has no mind
At times the absent-minded man is as UNIFORM
nate as crippled man a fool A thoughtfIIl
and studious young captain of holiday militia
company was drilling his command on the
levee. Marching toward the river and too near
to give the word ''about"-and then forgetting
what he was himself about-forgot to saw
face" The company kept on marching to the
water, and the first four fell in the river before
getting the complete command to change di.
rection. Upon that the rest of the troops mutt.
MED and discarded the tactics of the absent.
minded administrator Orleans Picuyune