New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-02-10
TWO SMALL FABLES.
THE OLD JOKE AND THE HUMoRIsr, AND THE

rur OH Joke AND THE HUMoRIsT, AND THE
GOOD STORY AND THE NEWSPAPER MAN.
An old Joke once hobbled into the padded room IN
tested by the Professional Funnyman q Newspa
per- while writing his daily grist of original seiec-
tions from the ancient humorIsts. This Compiler Of
the Pleasantries of the Past was busy keVamplns q
joke which the late Joseph Miller Esquire introduced
on the last page Of his Justly celebrated work merely
to Ill up but he glanced up cheerfully as the Old
Joke dragged himself in
sIr7 said the Old Joke in feeble accents. I am
cast out and deserted by all did not even get into
the Boston slmanacs this year take me in and use me
in to-morrow's issue, or die!'
And that I dust not do.5 replied the Humorous
Party Though I man of Ancient Humor and
acquainted with aged w.t. still cannot use you I;
'twould cost me my Job now they say the pro
prletor turns from my column 10 the obituaries for re
lief You know you were old when the foundation Of
Rome was laidS
at was contemporaneous with first parents In
the Garden of Eden1 answered the Old Joke proudly.
al am the Wandering Jew among Jokes stIll IL is
hard to be left without place 10 lay my head at this
late day.
at isl admitted the Jester. putting his mucIlage
brush in the inkstand.
Six months ago. unused the old Joke. half speak
ing to himself had hope of getting another engage
ment with the London punch But It cannot be
am cast out from my natural home"
at IS sad,7 returned the Jocularity Gentleman,
but viii tell you what you can do. Go TO one OF
our popular after-dinner speakers, Congressman or
retired army officer preferred get HIS staff and you
will be ali right He will tell you on all occasions,
and newspapers that you now will print you as
new, on the strength of your patrons Endorsements
A moment later the Old Jokes crutch was heard
sounding along the passageway which led to the eleva-
tor.
At another time, Newspaper Man who had ceased
being journalist nearly forty years before was busy
at his desk He had that night edited page OF suif
written two columns of Good Matter, and reved his
| pipe twenty times because It would not draw He
was abusing the tobacco saying that Il was inferior
| 10 that procura5le before the war; "heh certain
| Story entered.
| Good evening" said the Story.
Hello,S said the Shaper Of Public Opinion. .
at am story said the caller. belonging 10 Mr..
Lays CIblets the celebrated parOr and platform
bumorst Ny chief does not write hs stories for pup,
| Icaton, but thinks up good things ike me- ana
nightly tells them to large audiences. am the lead
ing story In his collection, and may say, anu say u
! modestiy that have brought him much reputation
/ and large barrel of scads Thousands nave rOaIeu
| over me and pronounced my owner the FUNNIEST man
| on earth Honestly now am not a good story ",
| al can truly say that l think you are rcPnne S
the manIpulator of the lever that moves uie N0Ild
| as he mt dispatch about man who voted for Gen
| eral Harrison's grandfather In the waste pashoe
| yes You are a most excellent story, thc Dest,
believe that ever heard. Indeed, were but an IN
grateful father should say otherwise, for wrote
| are good I never write anything that isn't good
| Two hours later when the Man with inc IhTODDlht
Brain first looked UP, he noticed the marked ABSENCE
! of certain Story.