Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1889-09-27
HOW DO YOU REGISTER?
THE WAY THE HOTEL CLERK SAYS
HE CAN READ CHARACTER.

sIztng Up strangers ny lnelr bHnuWTlt-
ing-If You Belong in the Bridal Parlor
He's sure to Find 1t Out as If You
Were One of the Sky Parlor Fraternity.
The hotel clerk had just concluded an
extended consultation with the proprie-
tor They had definitely determined
that the new addition to the hotel for the
accommodation of the Worlds fair Wis
itors should contain $500 rooms. For
some reason this made the clerk cheer
fully loquacious. He actually beamed
on a newly arrived and just registering
guest, he felt so happy
'FRONT.' Show this gentleman to room
sol. Yes, sir, there's bath.
Now. had noticed that the clerk as
signed the guest to room sol (Which had
a bathroom attacheD before the afore
said guest had said word as to the
desirablity of that very excellent add-
ton to the guest chamber. | presumed
that the newcomer was known to the
clerk who possibly was familiar with
the guests predisposition to personal
cleanliness, and | asked him if that was
the case.
mo" replied the clerk affably; hotel
clerks are always affable. 81 never saw
the man before, but | knew from the
manner in which he registered that he
wanted all the conveniences the hotel
affords"
knew from the way he registered!'
repeated in surprise
Yes, very seldom fail to size man
up from the way he handles the register.
One half hotel clerks value consists of
his memory for faces and the names that
go with them. The other half is his
ability to read the desires of stranger
guest from outward indications as he
spreads his signature over the register.
Of course, sometimes l get left, but not
often.
WALKING EXPOSTULATION.
won't you put me on?" This from
ne, anxious for information regarding a
new feature of character reading.
why, certainly; it's no secret. Take
for instance, the newly married young
husband as the easiest example. His
lunch is the simplest. l can always To-
cate him from the nervous way in which
he adds And wife to his name, even if
his bushes didn't disclose his newness in
the role of benedict. But it won't do to
let him know you are dead onto him.
Oh, mol Instead Of that lead him to
believe that am laboring under delu-
sion that he's the father of large and
constantly increasing family. That style
of treatment just tickles him nearly to
death. And don't say a word about
the bridal chamber, but he gets it Just
the same.
Zone of the oldest characters we have
to deal with is the choleric old gentle
man who won't register until he knows
just where his room is, how it fronts and
where the fire escape is; how much we're
going to charge him per diem, and if the
bed has been aired. A kicker? Why,
he's walking expostulation. Yet that
type of man usually ends by taking the
very best in the house and paying his
,, bill without murmur There are lots
3 worse than he if you only work him
right.
There is the man, too, who, before he
: registers, looks all over the names and
addresses on the register for week
back, and yet never seems to know a
soul in the house. l generally assign
him a cheap room, and if he gets away
without paying it's not our fault. AS
for the travelling man and the theatrical
: advance agent, it's no trick to pipe them
off. The 12-year-old bell boys can dc
that before they get into the door. Blu,
there are different species of those classes,
!, and it requires an expert to decide in ad.
vance just what they want. Generally
l gauge them by the size of their sigma
, lures, on the basis that the larger the
' signature the smaller the room.
SOME QUEER CHARACTERS.
LAS rule the man with the megath
erian autograph is generous only with
9 writing ink. Again, find that the
: more airs man puts on before the hote
register the more apt he is to be satisfied
with a roof parlor and one towel.
, Once in while we have a queerel
. character even than usual to deal with
Only yesterday fine looking man. whom
= l afterward found to be a distinguished
scientist, couldn't for the life of hin
think of his own name when he came tt
sign it on the register. The general run
of queer customers comes from the agri
= cultural districts. A big city hotel is {
revelation and terror to him. Every
- thing in and about a first class caravan
sary surprises and scares him-every
!, thing except the dining room-there h'
is very much, too much, at home Ever
: the first act of singing the register is {
;, serious, an awful thing to him. To hin
>, the signing of his name, besides being al
act of mental and physical difficulty, is
! in his mind, ever connected with judg
= ment notes, mortgages, lawsuits ant
foreclosures
= THE meekest and easiest to satisfy o
= all whom hotel clerk meets is tn
- typical western cowboy. The toughe
% he is on the plains the meeker he is here
The muzzle of loaded Colt placed agains
!, his temple wouldn't make him turn hal
/, so pale as the sight of pen and ink thrus
toward him He is out of his elemen
then and he appreciates it without tn