Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1889-04-19
CARL NUNDER.
Some Other Things That Bother Him.

some OINeT ihlHSS IndI
Detroit Free Press
If she vhas a cold day somepOdy wants
to know if he vhas cold enough for me.
Can | have it shust SO cold or warmY
Was to be der shudge?
If he vhas a hot day somepody wants
| to know if she vhas hot enough for me.
Suppose he was or wssn'tY Can L hat
dat weather like | want him?
If | ship down on der sidewalk, more
ash ten peoples come around ind say
"Eh, Dunder, did you fall DOWN" If l
doan fall down, how vhas | dere!
lend a man some money und he Fays
her back uud it vhas all right. | lend him
some more und he shumps oudt uud eaf
erpody gays: "Vha5 fool you vhas! you
ought to have known better"
Last summer | like to hire man for
ten shilling Il day to work around my
| house, but / can't find nopody. As soon
as winter comes und nopody can work,
more ash ftefty feiIers strike me for a
| quarter und say der poor vhas growing
poorer eafery day.
If il vhas so warm in der winter dot
nopody can cut ice der newspapers vhas
saying dot der peoples vhll be robbed
next summer 10y der ice man. If it vhas
So cold dot der ice vhas two feet thick der
| newspapers vhas saying dot der coal man
vhas squee zing der life blood out of der
country.
When der days vhas short der gas man
| says my bill vhas high because der eaf
| nipgs vhas so long. When der days Fhas
| long he says [ must expect big bills bt-
cause hat so much company.
If | make some shauge for customer
und xlf him ten cents too mach, he puts
it In his pocket uud says honesty vhas der
| best policy. If dos shange vhas ten cents
short, ne makes a great row und says
dere vhas 10 inducement in dhis world
for a man TO be honest.
Vheu a milkman comes to my place for
| a glass of beer, he says he can't taste
some hops IN dot brew. When sip his
| u ik and ask him where he got dot water,
| ne vhas SO mad he wants 20 fight with
me.
man comes in my place eafeTy day
| for weeks und says it vhas strange der
peoples doan' make me gofernor. | lend
| him s. und | doan' see him again for
| three months. Den | meet him und ask
| Why he doan' pay, ind he say she vhas
strange der peoples doan' ride me on
| rail.
Eaferypodg comes to me und says
| vhas good fe!ler, und dot means must
| help eafery pody. If go TO someone und
| cali him good fellow he winks out OF
| his eye at me upd says: "Do you pthef
| vhas some greenhorns, chr
Fife hoonered poys go by my house on
| a sleigh ride, und sooch yelling und
| footing you neafer heard. My poy Shake
goes out purity soon und whistles for his
dog, md poiicemans comes along und
says: shop dot noise, you young
DuichmAus! Doan' you Know you vhae
making eaferypody seek ~
If l goes Ply some clothing sthore for
coat, und der price vhas TOO high, der
| man says ter me: "Dunder, like to as
sure her dot | doan' make feefty cents
on dot coat at feefteen dollar. | haf
only ten left" ] buys him, und two days
later see big siGn in der papers: Big
drivel 100000 OF dose same coats at IS,
ind dosn' you forget him"
One day a man meets me und says lib
erty vhas dead uud der republic gone
oop. Der next Soonday der police doan'
catch his saloon opea und he slaps me on
der back und says: Liberty vhas all
right Und der republic vhas der best IN
der world!'
can't make him oudt. MAYBE 1t vhas
peter doan' come to America.