The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-10-12
A SCIENTIFIC SUICIDE.
One Man Who Had Some Con-
sideration for the Papers.

The city editor sat alone in his room
in the newspaper office. He was in very
bad humur that evening because he had
been hoaxed by piece of alleged news
that he had thought trustworthy, and
it had narrowly escaped getting into
the paper. AS the city editor was lay
ing his plans to catch the hoaxer there
same ring at the telephone. He
waited for moment to see il somebody
else in the building was going to an
swer, and then went to the instrument
himself
.'Hello," said voice. "Who is that?"
1.-The city editor"
'YOu are just the man, then, want
to talk to. want you to take down
something that think will be of in
ierest to the readers of your paper"
..All right. Go ahead" said the city
editor.
Have you got paper and pencil
tnere?"
mo. Go ahead with what you have
to say. I'll take it down"
This requires accuracy. You will
have to have q paper and pencil"
Very WELL" said the city editor,
swat moment. Now, then,' he con-
tinued. go ahead"
ais there anybody else there?" asked
the voice.
What difference does that make?"
SWELL. it makes this difference, that
want to know if you stay at the tele-
phone until l am through. VIII you
promise that?"
''if you have any news to send in,"
said the city editor rather GROSSLY,
please send it in
"Will you promise to wait at the
telephone until am through"
"Pll promise nothing of the kind"
said the editor; IN ring off in an
other moment"
Listen to me-" said the voice, "if
you ring off yoc do yourself out of one
Of the most sensational items that has
occurred within the last six months.
Unless you promise me I'll ring up the
opposition paper, and think they will
be glad of the item"
"All right" said the city editor, II
promise. Go ahead"
mo. see here, there's another thing.
At the end of every sentence l want
you to answer yes | can recognize
your voice and can tell whether you
have summoned any one to your as
sistance. The moment that find you
have done so, will ring off at the
central and you will lose your item. If
you make any attempt to communicate
with the central office l shall hear you
and will ring Off"
why, what's all this nonsense
about" said the city editor, ''if you
have got any news let me have it. If
you haven't. stop all this talk. don't
want to hear it,
"AIi right" said the other, that's
business. Now you are to understand
that you are to answer yes at the end
OF every sentence. am going to COM
init suicide"
''Yes," from the city editer.
81 have every preparation for it in
my room. am going to commit sui
eide in the French fashion with a pan
OF charcoal. 1t is here by my side
ready to be lighted. l am young
physician who has had nothing to do,
and IFS either slow starvation or the
quicker method of the charcoal plan.
DO you understand"
YES"
"Yca understand now why 1 do not
wish to be interrupted"
tsYes," answered the city editor.
al would have written down my SEN
xatiOns during the coming of death, but
1 am afraid that my hands may get
paralyzed, and that anyway can not
write as fast as the symptoms, which l
wish to describe, occur. Besides, l
think I can talk here longer than I
could write anyhow. have the tele-
phone fixed down opposite my chair
and have my head propped up against
it. so that so long as l can speak l can
tell you my symptoms.
s'All right" said the city editor.
Now, in order that this description
Of the symptoms of a man being pois-
Oned by carbon monoxide is of any
value, you must be accurate. The
trouble with you newspaper men is in
accuracy. especially when you touch
On any scientific subject"
..Yes, that's all right" said the city
editor, Il have heard that remark be-
fore. Well. go on. Have you lighted
your fire yet?' .--
..NO. not yet? l want to be sure
that you are perfectly ready and that
you have ali the materials with you