The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-26
BRIGHT BITS.

- HEARD you were fishing yesterday" said
one travelling n1an TO another
Yes"
''Have any luck?n
YES, some; | didn't get drowned. f-Gerntdn-
toIcH Telegraph.
decalter AMI glass as they were leavl & for the
thea er. take one good. long long drink"
WHAT for?' he gaspad.
, Because don't lihe yourunning out between
the acts. '-Jltdge.
SHE-Ma says she knows that when we are
married we won't live so like cats and dogs as
she and pa do
He-No, indeed Your ma is right.
1es, sne says she is sure you'll be easier to
manage than pa is.-NeoO York Weekly.
WIFE-Why, John you don't mean to say
that you swOre do yous Then want YOU to re-
pc It or IT, darling and never do so again.
husband have repented, wife, and IL never
DO so again You see swore off from drinking.
-Ae'o York san.
BRowN-It's terrible the way these coal deal
ers CHEAT you. There's not more than l, 200 in
that ton.
Littl Johnnie-Perha S, dad, the coal man
weighed it on the same scales as you weig led
taat 20 ounI fish you caught.-Hd per'S
Bdz0r
CALLER-And Mr.. Lushforth, is he any better
Mrs. Lushforth-Tnere is nothing the matter
with Mr.. Lusnforth that am aware of.
Caller-I wonder what in the world made
Henry tell me such an awful fib. He told me
that Mr.. Lush rorth was paralyzed last night
IeFre Haute Express.
IT Is A WAY THEY HAvE.-W ife-Just think. I
have sat here and seen man going after man
into that saloon over there.
Husband-You're rig t. That's just what
they arr dong every man who enters there
Will sure you that ne is going in after anoth I
man.-Deb OFT Free eSs.
She-Of course the feminine half of human
lty is the smarter. If NOT how do you account
Tor the fact that at the age when a man is still
a gawky boy the woman has reached her self
possession and intellectual maturity?
He-I do t know unless it is because she
hasn't so far TO go.-lerre Hdute Express.
AUGUSTUS" said Mrs. Henpeck severely, II
see woman down in New Jersey has been con
victed Of being com non scold. | should like
to see any brute of a man try that on men
But you are no common scoll, Maril," re-
marked Mr.. II tnpeck, with 81 III And Mrs.
Henpeck is still wondering what he me mt
Life.
"DocroR,'' said Sohker, "how would YOU
treat man who was the subject of dipso-
mania?"
Il wouldn't treat him at all" replied the
doctor, after moments consid ration: treat
ing is the bane of our civilization" And the
applicant for Information paid the usual fee and
left the office IPoShtngton.C
PETERsoN-I say, Thompson, didn't you
talk to me at one ii ne of going to the war;
Thompson-Hush! Keep quiet.
What do you mean?''
IF Tanner gets wind Of it, he will
figure out that the government owes me
$20,0 back pension money and brag about it
in the papers, and my creditors will gobble
itup, Don't say anything abOnt it.'-Teras
S5tings.
old boy, queated gweat deal of mer-
riment at the pWarty last night"
Did your"
''Yaas, 1 awsked the conundwum, WHY
is an incline plane like lazy young dogY"
did they give it up?''
Yes and told them that one was slope up
and the oil her was a slow dog
did they laugh?''
We'll, evan heard such laughter in my
life. N-ColltnlbuS lOD Liqht.