Democratic messenger., 1889-06-01
MR.. BOwsER CLEANS HOUSE
His Wife's Vivid Account OF the
Awful Experience.

In the other evening just as the indiyidu
ais referred to were passing out.
"They called to see when would b
ready for Them"
GLOW ready?"
ut is spring, you know"
"Well, what has spring. you know. 60
TO do with two c0lOred women?
II have got to wash few windows al,
take up carpet or two"
"lIousc cleaningg"
mo, not exactly, but then"
"See here, Mrs. Bowscr, this thing ha
got TO stop right here and now. Becaus
some two hundred years ago some oil
cranky house keeper IN England felt oblig
ell TO rip and tear and upset the house fo
two or three weeks in April, all you wo
men Of to-day feel obliged to keep up thu
custom"
"But everybody cleans house more OF
less"
Cant help that I'm not going I,
have everything topsy turvey around her,
for the next three weeks. That will b,
the result If you put two women at work
They WILL spin out the job as long as pos
sible."
ut won't take over week"
"a week 1t shouldn't take one day.
can go at il and do oil the cleaning neces.
sary in one hour"
didn't say anything further until after
supper. Unfortunately for me one of the
women returned to ask about matter
she had forgotten, and Mr.. Bowscr saw
her and said;
Are you one Of the women who are
going to clean house here!"
"Yes, sah."
Excuse me, but don't believe Il! II
there's any cleaning to be done I'll do II
myself. You needn't put in an appear.
ancc here tomorrow or any other day.
"An' you's gwind TO clean housc:" she
asked in surprise.
IL am. know ii docs not belong 10
mans state, but have n young and in.
experienced wife who is easily imposed
on, and am going TO prove TO her that
thishouse. cleaning business Is all a fraud" "
"Mr. Bowscr," said, as he returned To
the sitting room, didn't you have an ex.
perience last spring."
"Yes, ma'am, experienced this house
from top TO bottom in just two hours, and
II still remains the cleancst house IN DE.
troit. have nothing particular 10 do to.
morrow, and shall take hold"
IL can't help You any"
when Iwan't your valuable assistance,
/ will ask for il, Mrs. Bowser. As | am
feeling in good spirits this evening might
us well begin on the coal stove. I'll wrcs-
tie IL out into the back hall, ready Ia go TO
the barn in the morning"
went up stairs as he pulled of his
coat and spit on his hands. knew just
what q muss he'd make and didn't want
10 be there to see. In few minutes |
heard the claiter Of the stove-pipe, as four
or five lengths bounced around ON the
floor, and three minutes later there was a
wild yell for help. ran down just MS the
girl got in from the kitchen. Mr.. Bowscr
was lying ON his back on The floor aud the
stove was lying on Mr.. Bowser. lie was
almost black IN the face as he gasped
Take him of-take the blamed thing
of me-
The girl and succeeded in lifting !,
high enough for him To roll out, and he
sat up and grOancd and sworc aud threat
cncd dire things.
"lwas afraid il would be too much for
you." said us offered him wet towel
"Oh, yes you were. How kind Of YOU
You are disappointed because the internal
thing didn'i knock the life out of me =
Invent up stairs and rested awhile. Then
heard him moving the furniture about
and by and by he came up to say
II want some salt To put on the carpet
before sweep"
But that carpet must came up, MIR
Bowser. It's been down two years"
That's all nonsense! Mother never
lifted carpet until il was worn out
where's the salt ?"
"But the curtains must come down, the
woodwork be rubbed with damp cloth
and the windows washed, and -"
"And the roof Of the house raised ten
feet of course. One would think we'd
had smallpox in the house I'll get the step
ladder and take the curtains down. Per
haps I'll take the carpets up td.morrow
but its waste Of time"
lie went down and go, the ladder. aud
heard him whistling as he worked al
one OF the curtains Ills whistle presently
cut short of, and there was crash and q
yell, and flew down 10 find Mr.. B0wsel
lying across that end OF the lounge which
still remained IN the room. Ills eyes wer,
closed and thought him dead from hi'
fall. got the camphor and the girl flung
water in his face, and by and by he gas
pod and opened his eyes and fain,l,
asked:
''Is this heaven :"
mo, Mr.. Bowser," gently reptile,
"this is only spring housekeeping.
what has happened :" he continued, a
he rose up.
"You had a. fall"
And while was unconscious you tool
the advantage Of my condition to take /
five dollar bill from my walletr'
Il never thought Of such thing"
"Well, can tell later on. had sen
sa,ion as II some one feeling in my pock
cts. Ill have that curtain dow if II taxi
leg"
Wont you please give up your Quixo
tic idea, Mr., Bowsery No man cut
clean"
Cant ehy Well I'll show you TO the con
trary. Quixotic idea III show YOU ant
old Quix, too that can do more hous'
cleaning In one hour than you can do In