Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-05-19
POINTS ON ETIQUETTE.

POINTS ON ETIQUETTE.
"A Cousins PrfviIeEe-Letters of Inrroduc-
tIon-Proper Topics of Conversation nj
Dinuer-An Interesting Paragraph on
Table Etiquette.
The author of 'sDon't' comes again to the
rescue of composites barks on the sea of
society and maps out number of the shoals
and rocks in their course. The question Of
cousins privilege is also taken up and
definitely settled.
Will you tell me through the columns OF
"Etiquette" if ones servant is out, or if one
does her own work and the young lady has a
gentleman call on her and she answers the bell
herself, should she stand one side and let the
gentleman pass into the paTlOr. or should she
step ahead and lead the way herself
A lady under such circumstances would ma
tur2lly lead the way to the parlor, although
when at the parlor door she might give way for
her guest to precede her. Which should be
done would depend upon whom the guest is.
If a gentleman precedence should not be ex-
tended to him; if an elderly lady it should.
If we properly address firm composed of
men as Gentlemen" why should we not ad-
dress firm of women as 'Ladies?'' Is there
any good reason Tor preferrlng the french
word ''Mesdames" to English "LadiesT
Firms composed of ladies is so new thing
that no well established usage in the matter Of
addressing them has obtained. 1t is always bet
ter to use English words than foreign words,
and hence ladies' is preferable to mes
danes"
VIII you please give the form of an answer to
an invitation to a reception or party etc.
HERCULES.
The usual form is as follows:
''Bir. John Beach accepts with pleasure the in
. Mrc I,1,, Maw-
los '--' S--'- -
GIVE Us MORE COUSINS,
L lam young lady, l6 years old-some peo-
pie say am pretty. There is young man who
has the same name as myself and thinks per-
haps he might be a cousin, and have cousins
10 insist on being coaxed before grant it. 2
If dare a young man to kiss me and he does
t, ought to be indignant
A POSSIBLE COUSIN.
L What do you mean by cousins privi
leges? Do you mean the right to kiss you?
This is privilege that young woman should
be cautious about giving 60 any one. A good
rule for her to adopt is never to let any kiss
her that exhibits particular desire to do SO.
2 What would you expect of young man
whom you dared to kiss you? What sort Of
young man would it be who undersuch cireum-
stances didn't ''up and kiss your As to your
indignation, we rather suspect that you would
your challenge, but at the one that exhibited
so much indifference as not to do so.
recently called on a friend at his rooms. On
being shown in l found that my friend had
stepped out moment Before he returned an
other gentleman came in, known to me by
name, but to whom 1 had never been intro
duced. In such situation is it not the most
sensible course to introduce oneself?
COUNT JOHANNES.
Certainly. Persons meeting at friends
house do not require an introduction.
LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION.
Should letters of introduction be sealed, and
how should they be delivered? FELIX.
A letter of introduction should not be sealed.
If in any way connected with business present
it in person, but if solely social introduction,
send it by post inclosed with your card and ad-
dress.
In sending my plate at table for second por-
ZION should leave my knife and fork upon 1T?
JAMES S.
There is difference of opinion on this point.
Many persons stoutly uphold the practice of
leaving ythe knife and fork on the plate, and
probS6ly the greater number of people do so.
BrG the knife and fork on the plate are embar-
fassing to the carver or whoever serves the
dish desired, and awkward for the servant. 1t
may be inconvenient for one to retain his knife
and fork, but in doing SO he incommodes him
self rather than other people, and this is an
If accompany young lady to party, and
one of the young gentlemen present is unavold-
ably called away and leaves his lady in my
charge, and when the gentlemen are requested
to see the ladies to the dining room for refresh
ments 1 start with both my own partner and
also the lady left in my care, and as we get out
side the paTlor and in the hall my partner leaves
me without excusing herself and goes to the
table with another gentleman, how should
regard her treatment to me, and what should
be my conduct toward her in the future?
IGNoRAMUs.
The lady's conduct in such a case would cer-
fainly be very unceremonious not to say grossly
impollte. Your conduct toward such person
should be not less polite than it always had
been, but your revenge would be not to offer
yourself as her escort another time.
HOW TO EAT.
The habits of people at table who consider
themselves respectable seem to me often very
bad They handle the fork and the spoon awk-
Sng their soup; they turn their backs to persons
next 60 them; they commit many other oHenses
against good taste. Is there no way to enforce
upon people the rules of good society in eating
and drinking5 c. d. b.
Many efforts have been made to extend the
knowledge of table manners. but without much
effect The fork is now used where the knife
was formerly, and this is about all. Here are
few rules that everybody is supposed to know,
but which, simple as they are, are often dIsre-
garded: Spread the napkin over the knee and
not over the chest. Take soup from the side of
the spoon; do not tip the soup-plate; eat soup
without making gurgling noises Hold the
fork when in the left hand with handle in the
hollow of the hand; when in the right hand,
using it with prongs upward, hold it between
the forefnger and thumb. Take up on the
fork only so much as it can easily
carry, and do not load it with the knife.
In drinking wipe the lips before doing SO, SO
as not to soil the glass. Chaucer told us 500
years ago, in his Canterbury Tales" of the
young lady who never dropped portions of food
and always wiped her mouth on her napkin be-
fore drinking. This young lady's manners are
good example even to-day. Avoid bending
over your plate or dropping your head too low,
or thrusting your elbows ont or sitting with
your back turned to your neighbor. Take care
not to eat too heartily, or to take too large
mouthfuls. An elegant manner at table is i'm
possible unless one eats slowly and quietly,
with small mouthfuls. In short, elegant man.
ners at table consist mainly in doing nothing
that attracts attention.
DON'T TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER.
What are suitable subjects for conversation
at a dinner table or at q social gathering
6. B. r.
Il is the rule in all circles to avoid those sub
5ects in conversation that are likely to wound
ones 1eeilngs or trench upon nls conVlc1ohs.
For this reason politics and religion are forbid
den. And yet those themes more nearly con-
cern us than any others. Literature, artscience.
invention, all afford themes for conversation;
50 does travel, exploration, great achievements
in any direction. We have the doings of the
world before us, and these ought to give us
ample material; and yet from this large field
20 choose from how commonly do we find con-
versation drifting into social gossip, into the
trivial incidents of our own setf Literature. if