davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1889-09-10

Leave Pauoa for Wharf and Hotel
(via School and Fort strects) :37 Il. m.
and hourly. Last car 1897 p. m, also
9:37 p. NJ. for Punahou. Sundays the
same from 9:37 n. IN.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
Modern SOlOmOnisms.

From a pei iodical called the Good Rouse
keeping we clip the following chunks of
proverbial philosophy--additions to Solo
mon Hnd improvements upo. Jurper:
Vinegar helps gestion, but sour tenn
per ruins it.
Wait till after dinner before you fall out
with tie COOK.
Before picking quarrel with the gas
man buy gallon of kerosene.
A SOFT yet persistent answer turneth
away borrowing neighbor.
You cannot measure a mans daily walk
by the thickness of his carpet.
Many woman is expert with crayons
who is lot skillful in drawing tea.
There may be too much OF good thing
Of salt ID the soup for instance
Ii is vain for you 10 rise up early II the
kitchen chimney will not draw.
Let me make the bread Of u nation and i
care not who makes its pies.
If cleanliness is next TO goodness, then
neatness is side by side with piety.
When a man disagrees with YOU il Is
often best TO leave him alone. The same
is true Of rich food.
II is better 10 lock the stable door after
the horse is stolen tuan not 70 lock it all.
II may save the cow.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
Strnck the Wrong Shop.

A funny incideRt occurred here this
week in the court in the general torn.
Immediately af On favorable action had
bean taken on the applications OF 80 law
graduates for admission TO the district bar,
they were directed to the clerks office
there 10 take the oath of Office. A man not
a graduate was present, and he, like the
others, stood in, the crowd and took the
oath Ito support 9nd bear allegiance to the
United States, and will we'll and faithfully
discharge the dutiesof Office on which am
about to enter.n
Like the others, he also signed the boob
and then patiently waited for his certificate
and finally asked for it. Mai. Williams
asked his name, and. failing to find 1t on the
list, suggested that he see the committee on
examination, as the N tIhe might have been
inadvertently left off the list Then the
young gentleman was at loss TO know
what the examining committee had 10 do
with his affairs, and said that he was after
a marriage license. IL is needless TO say
that his remark was greeted by the most
hearty laughter. The candidate for mtri-
mony, who had just taken an oath % faith
fully perform the duties of the Office 10
which he was. about 70 enter enjoyed the
Joke as much as any one, and secured the
document he was seeking. Washington
Letter.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
APllzlel Witness.

Julge.-The deion liant had promised
you reward OF $50 if you woall testify
in his favor. How did he Offer it? Re-
peat TO me what he slid, in his own
words.
Witnass-IIe sail hc would give
me $50 if / would testify for. him
that
Judge He couldn't have said that.
he didn't speak in the third person to
you
Witness There WASH tany third per-
son present.
JUDGE know that. but when he
spoke with you he must have always
spoken in the first person.
Witness The first person was me
Judge-You misunderstood me.
When he was talking to you he didn't
say | will give you 500 if
Witness-No, your honor. There
was nothing said about you
Judge -Bahl Thirty days for stu
pidity.-Wasp.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
How the Baby Managed!

Three yearsOld Frank is beautiful,
bright little fellow. The only child in the
family until few days since, and petted
much more than is for his good. Last
week little sister was born and Frank
was sent to the Hollenden to remain with
his grandmother for few days. Franks
nose was decidedly out of joint. He was
sure that the dreadful baby was entirely to
blame for his first Punishment from home,
and he could not like her evan a little bit
a morning or two after his coming to the
hotel Lady who understood just how he
felt happened TO meet Frank and his
grandmother in the hall, and accosted him
with: whats happened up at your house
anyway, Franki"
In an instant the sunny face was angry
and flushed.
ats babyr' he replied, his childish
voce expressing how hurt he felt at the
little stranger intrusion.
"A baby" repeated the lady in we'll
feigned establishment, show did it get
there"
Frank was puzzled for moment and
then answered coatemptuously tossing his
head: "Oh, it just sneLked in."-Cleye-
land Plain Dealer.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08

ED.
while / sat on the piazza enjoying the
mosquitoes and IL banjo solo by Miss
Addie. Presently Sam came out and
grasped my hand warmly.
Its all right, old friend" said he.
Eve fixed it for you. You're to have
u lower berth"
"A lower berth, where?"
''Why on the stairs. The other fel-
lows's got to take the top. My wife
ard matched pennies and | won it for
you with IL copper with two he IDS on it.
It's ever so much more comfortable
down below"
Then Sam left me to enjoy the music
while he and his wife's brothers friend
drank hard cider ana played forty five
az the railroad station. When they
came back / had already taken the
lower berth They both fell over me.
and was much grieved to observe
their condition. | carried them 20 the
head of the stairs where they both
went to sleep. At frequent intervals
during the night they fell down the
stairs, sometimes singly. sometimes
both together; but, either way, they
broke my rest and several OF the banis-
tors.
Aug. They have succeeded in
opening the piano, and 1 have spen.
the day wandering on the hills. The
air was too thick to allow OF any en-
joyment of the scenery. FogP Oh, no
flies. Couldn't see from one tree to
the next.
Another guest has arrived and Sans
got new scheme. am to sleep in o
hammock out under the open sky. /
like the idea
Aug. Did you ever sleep in a
hammock Don't you try it. Did you
see u bow-legged sailor, with one shout
der higher than the other, and a twist
in his spine? That's because sailors
sleep in hammocks. My hammock was
slung between two trees that were too
near together. | lay on my back first
in the shape of n letter V, and gazed
out ut the pole star between my knees.
II was comfortable enough at first and
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
Tannep,s Record Broken.

The fast of Robert Marvsi, the Pike
township, l2diana, octogenari II, still n
tiaues, aud iasin mhny respers the most
remarkable thing known TO medical his
tory. A man who is nearing his eighty
fifth birthday has gone thirty tive days
Without Rorsel of food anu is still ali, Q,
although terribly emaciated.
Mar. el lives with his daughter in well
furnished house, seven miles northwest of
indianapolis. He lies upon the bed in the
sitting room, and there is little in his APP
pc rance that would suggest the terrible
ordeal through which he has gone Except
when someone is mo ing him, he lies
quietly, breathing regularly, and looking
otherwise naturally.
The aihicied man Is utterly speechless>
From thamorning, five weeks ago, when
he left tue house To go out IN the garden
and work, not one Ineligible word has
been uttered by him. He has on two or
three occasions appeared TO try to speak,
but there was nothing in, che least mtelligi-
BILE abcat it, his tongue IS evidently par
alyZed.
There is a question, also, as TO whetkar
he can hear. The members of the family,
rs well as his ply ,ician, hold tho theory
that no hears no sound. ct, when the
doctor spoke to him IN a loud No ce, he
certainly gave some. inlcation thai, he
heard IL although he made no response.
Tho first few days after his ailiiation
came on an attempt was made 10 torca him
TO take food, but tie vio!ent manner in
which he resisted persons VINO attemp ted
10 touch him, induced them TO step and
humOr him in every Way. Since then he
has begun taxing water and a little pit
lance Of milk. The nuids have beea placed
where he could get them, and no attempt
has been made 10 force them upon him, On
swo or three occasions he has taken the
cup from the attendants hands, but, as a
Yule, he will not DO that, bu1 instead,
pushes it away FROM him, whenever prof
tered. EvC-Y kin1 0f device has been tried
to get him 10 eat something but without
success.
The superstition is that the paralysis ex-
tends TO tue bowels. What lends TO the
case much Of its wonder is the extreme
age OF the man. DR.. Tanner is said TO have
tasted 20 days, oven without milk, but he
was tnen in the prime of life and being a
physician had the advantage OF u thorough
knowledge or the human system.
Mr. Marvel VIII be ~ years Of age on
Oct. next. He was born in Sussex coun-
~, Md, his parents being Of English de-
scent.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08

"Well, the trouble is" said Sam,
'that I've let tho barn to enc of my
neighbors and she's putting up some OF
her people there that she can't accom-
modate in the house. It's the rush
season now and everything is crowded. "
Il might try the roof"
TOO steep" said Sam, shaking his
head.
Il thought il would be little stcep
at $l7 a week, but didn't say so.
II can give you one OF the most com
Portable places in the house, said Sam.
live been saving it for you. It's the
big woodboX behind the kitchen stove.
just make up a bed in the bottom Of it
on the nice, soft kindlings; jump in,
shut down the cover to keep the flies
out, and there you are. You'll be the
only man in this part of the country
that the Mosquitoes won't bite tonight.
Aug. 3.-Last night has given me
some points on the proper construction
of coffin. II my last resting place
does not fit me better than that woodboX
i will kick the roof off it and rise before
/ am called.
This morning we had little boating
party on the allie ged lake. Two more
of Mrs. Benson's friends arrived and
joined the party. l rowed. The girls
conversed mcrlily among themselves
and left me out in the cold. They also
held parasols over themselves and left
me in the sun. We skinned the gentle
simmering surface of the lakelet in
search of pond lilies, but they had all
dried up and blown away.
When we returned home Sam told me
that he and Mrs. Benson had been SER
iously considering an important ques-
ton.
Look here, Sam" said I, you don't
mem TO put those girls in the woodboX
and turn me loose in the world?"
NO" he replied, Il will see that
you get the best there is of everything,
and rve fixed that. My wife has decid-
cd to make place for the girls on the
kitchen table, and | suggested that il
you would get into the woodbox first,
and then let me nail down the cover,
all delicate questions could be avoided.
"lf you'll put silver plate on it
bearing my name, age and an appro-
pirate passage of scripture, the plan
would be perfect said /, losing my
temper. No, no, Sam, it won't do.
dreamed Of funerals all last night but
this would be too painfully realistic
With your permission I'll try the
stairs"
Too late" said Sam, they're en-
gagged. An old friend of my wife,
brother is coming on the $50 train
She's saving the stairs for him.
The old friend arrived on time. Their
Sam and his wife had a consultation
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
Tho March Of Emnlre southuard.

Ihe' Baltimore manufacturers hecOrd,
always alive 10 the development OF the
industrial resources of the Southern
States, and always ready to chronicle
their progress, recites the history OF
an extensive manufacturing enterprise
now in actual course of development
by English capital in the great coal and
iron region OF this section. 1t says:
Several years ago Il number at the
foremost iron and steel makers OF
Great Britain, representing millions OF
dollars OF capital, had their attention
called TO the wonderful combination OF
mineral We Unlocking copl~ high
grade iron ores of many kinds includ-
ing Ressemer oars and otheQ advan-
tages OF the country around Cumber-
land Gap. Tenn, dividing point in
the mountain range separating Vir-
ginia, Kentucky and Tennessee. They
sent out an expert and his report was
so favorable that they could scarcely
believe it. and others were sent and
they more than confirmed what tho
first had said. Very quietly then these
practical iron and steel makers went to
work. They purchl used thousands Of
ting of n $500 foot tunnel through the
mountains, TO open way OF communi-
cation for several railroads; they COM
menced building railroads, prepared to
! lay out II town, etc. These things
they have been doing so quietly that
! but few know of this great enterprise
! probably the most extensive indus
! trial undertaking OF its character ever
organized. They have already spent
| S4,0J0,OO0 in their work at Gunner
land Gap, or rather at Middlesbor-
ough, which is the name OF the new
town, and have now thrown it open to
| the public The magnitude of what
has been accomplished may DO better
understood from few facts Upon
the preliminary work OF buying the
property. building tunnel, railroads.
etc, they hive as already said spent
$1,000, 900, but that is only the begin
ming. They have made contracts for
not less than four furnaces, rolling
mills and steel works TO cost S3,O)J-
900; for opening coal mines involving
q cost of $3JJ,000, "a 500, 900 tannery,
seven saw mills in full operation TO
supply lumber for building purposes
III AHo low IL lOuA VI I'm NANo WIN
over $4,000, invested, machine
shops, planning mills, and n number
OF other enterprises representing q
capital OF about $1,000, 600"
This is only one of numerous cases,
but perhaps the most considerable en-
tcrprise by single corporation. 1t is
one OF the numerous revelations oil
the extraordinary resources Of this re-
marl5pble section whose vast hidden
wealth was 80 long t;;eehor unknown or
out of the reach of capital. 1t has
come now most prominently into pu0-
lie notice. and it will daily attract
more and more attention.
The seat OF Industrial empire on this
continent i yet 10 be south Of the Po-
tomac and of the Ohio. This is mani
fest destiny, because every element O.
wealth EXISTS here in greater abund
ance and in closer juXtaposition than
can be predicte. Of any other region.
The capital a;d the labor to develop
them alone dre wanting. They will be
forthcoming TO meet every demand.-
New Orleans Picayune.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08

I fell or Into doze. When awoke
my back felt like the too, hncho, and !
turned over ON my side. That was how
got so mixed up. In the morning
when Sam found me standing beside
the hammock he said my frame was so
twisted that he couldn't tell after
begun to move whether was coming
in 10 breakfast or going back 10 town.
There was a suggestion involved in
his remark which struck me rs good,
and took the 1920 train home. They
were sorry TO see me 60 bat l told
them that the attractions OF Ovensvil'e
were 50 numerous that was afraid
some one might come up during the
day and steal my hammock away from
me.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
A Difficulty About Witnesses.

"Mr Smith," said the electric light man
ager TO his foreman, 1--WE want some men
TO testify TO the absolute harmessness of
the electric light current as used by us.
You might send Roberts
Foreman-"He was killed while fixing a
wire last night, sir"
"Well, jackson will do them
HE accidently ground wrong wire lass
week, and is scarcely expected to live,
sir"
"Such awkwardness! Send Williams"
Sorry, sir, but he was paralyzed while
fixing an electric lamp on Thursday"
"Really. It's most annoying. Employ
some men at once and send them to testify
10 the committee before they have time to
get themselves killed. New York Her
aid.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
Thoroughbred Americans Every One

Dying American Potriot "a few years
hence My son, Cr2w nearer / want you
TO remember that you come of a long line
of Amerlc, patriots who IA we never hest
grandfather fought, bled unc died in the
revolution; your great grandfather fought
in the Mexican war and suffered untold
agonics in Mexican prisons; your grand
father braved dangers innumeraOle in the
civil war; and j. my sou, was one of those
hundreds OF thousands of windowless and
seatiess patriots who, for two mortal days
at the New York centennial, endured the
fear ul crush of Broadway without seeing
ything.-New York Weekly.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
SmeIled of Whiskers.

She was a silent stern Wis ged woman,
long past not only her first but her very
last youth. She came to the boarding house
table regularly three times day for six
months and never exchanged even the bar.
ca. ccartesies with any one.
It was large bo. riding house, where
each pc. son Lat in amy vacant seat that
was available, abu for convenience the
proprietor KEPT the boarGers' napkins
grouped in The center of the tables Each
had u ring, either belonging to the boarder
or loaned by inc establishment.
MIR Fill said the lady one day to the
landlord, ri WISH you woId put my nap
kin in the sidcboard drawer when 1 fave
finished my meal; don't want it to lie
mixed up with all the others-it smells Of
whiskers'
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08

Mover heard tell of horse having
corns? Where in the world were you
brought up? Why, OF course they
have EN-, just the same as you and ]
ana everybody else"
The speaker was one OF the time
car-drivers on the West Madison
street line. He was chock full oil
horse lore. Continuing. he said:
"Old Bill, there, has had 'em for
over year. That's why lie gets out
side the rails, off the cobb,e-stones. II
isn't so horJ on his feet ont there as il
Is inside. just the same rs IL you had
n corn and wore an Old shoe or a
slipper on that foot Don't tell mo
that horse amt got sense. They
know more than some men. "-Chicag o
Globe.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
A Lucky Lady.

Weatherford (Tex.) Constitution, July g.
"Yes, sir; l have received the coin and
shall apply it TO good purposes" replied
Miss Annie Dawce of Strawn, Texas, to
our reporter. Miss Dawce was the fortu
nate holder of one fortietA of ticket No.6l,-
COS, which drew the first capital prize of
$4,000 in the drawing OF the Louisiana
State Lottery on June 18th. Miss Dawce
modestly s:Ste4 that she bad peen invest
ing in the monthly drawings for some time
with more or less fortune, and had always
felt confident of winning one of the large
prizes. 81 represent Ia this ticket" she
said, "a pool OF seva.i. who are equal
sharers in my goJd fortune" The follow
ing named ladies and gentlemen comprise
the 'luclsy seveu.n each of whom received
a., lil.l0 after paying the expenses of col
lection: Miss Dawce, Mrs. }. J. Coe, J. $.
Crouch, John Grant j. NJ. Billiard, j. $.
Hapgood and w. b. Dowell. All OF the
parties are connected with the Bridge De.
partment OF the Texas X Pacific X. X.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08


I was just foolish enough to reply
that would take the apartment. 1t
was an awfully hot day when left the
city, and it grew hotter all the way up.
For further particulars l quote from
my diary:
Aug. Reached Ovensville at IL
a. m. Town is in a hole among half a
dozen hills, so arranged that the sun is
always right overhead. Wind never
blows in Ovensville. Ventilation of
the town is very bad. Inhabitants
don't care. They are proud OF it.
CLAIM that they're breathing the same
air that Hendrich Hudson breathed
when he visited the place three or four
hundred years ago. During all that
time the black flies have been dropping
in and haven't been able TO find their
way out again over the hills. They're
all here to-day. Every time a fellow
gasps he swallows some OF these flies.
II he doesn't gasp he suffocatcs. l
spent the entire day trying TO decide
which I'd rather do.
One of Mrs. Benson's friends has
arrived. Miss Addie Pose-big, fat
girl. Not much in conversation but
she perspires freely. Don't blame her.
It's as hot as blazes.
Sam asked me rs special favor TO
his wife if l would give up the second
floor room TO Miss Addie. Didn't make
the request until the lady had retired.
Sam is considerable of diplomat. l
complied.
Aug. 2.-Slept in small room under
the roof-very close under the roof Sat
up suddenly in the night and put my
head out through the shingles into the
quiet starlight. Thought / received a
faint breeze through the hole in the roof
which partially atoned for fractured
skull When the sun rose it shone
through the hole in the roof straight
into my eyes. Dragged my bed all over
the floor. but the sun chased me. Went
down stairs and had breakfast OF crack
ers and milk.
Two more OF Mrs. Benson's friends
have come. One of them has rad hair
and the other plays the piano What
shall doP
I've locked the piano with a nail
while nobody was looking. but I'm
afraid they'll pry it open.
Sam suggested that we go out and
see the waterfall We found an aged
iuSbS WIZ agree W ShOW us Juo ldll
for 81 apiece. Sam had left his pock
-etboOk at home and his credit appeared
to be bad. l paid for the scenery and
told the rustic to lead on.
Its all right" said he, ''you can see
it from where you he. It's behind that
board fence"
Subsequent investigation revealed the
fact that the rustic owned the waterfall
He had built n dam across the brook
and the fall couldn't tumble unless he
said so. When he pulled the string it
opened gate on top OF n rock and part
of the brook ran out and trickled down.
1T amt zac'ly imagery" said the
rustic, but it's the only waterfall with
in nineteen miles o. this place"
He let IL run for five minutes and then
shut IL off. just then Miss Addie ar
rived, and she could have wepS to think
that she had missed seeing the fall l
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
A VISIT TO OVENSVILLE.
1t Explains Why Mr.. Fielding VIII
Not Go
TO THE COUNTRY THIS YEAR.
The Regime Was Too Attractive and the
Sleeping Accommodations Too Full
of Novelty and Variety-A
Funny Story.

4 have drawn up my plan for sum-
mer vacation and it suits me to death.
Shall | go to the country? Not UNI
less am kidnapped.
Shall l go TO the sea shore? Oh
dear, no, have learned to read the
most mendacious hotel circular with
out culver.
shall stay right here in the city. l
shall drop into the Office regularly at
the most uncomfortable part of the day.
/ shall put my feet on the desk and
watch the boys work, and perspire,
and swear. 1t will be so restful. A
diet of envious contemplation like that
will build me up much more than the
mosquitoes and cream of the country
could do.
/ know, because / have been there.
/ lost twelve pounds in four days up in
the Adirondacks last summer and they
can stay there. / wouldn't go back
after them If knew that l could find
them the first day. The experience
was painful, but the record Of it may
be useful.
1t was my old school friend-oi
course it was my old school friend; 1t
always is your old school friend who
gets you into scrape. AS / said, be-
fore, this man, Sam BENSON, lured me
up into the Adirondacks. He didn't
exactly invite me to visit him, but he
said that as we had been boys together
he would let me his second-hoor room
. on the north corner of the house for $l7
week. including all the milk could
drink and II the scenery | could find.
His wife was to have "a few friends
visit her later on, young ladies who
would add TO the attractions of the
place, and he thought that it was nc
more than fair that he should write
and give me chance to engage the
best room in the house.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-08-08
A Free ,rensrerIe.

Lady Visitor lin hospitaD-Poo,
man! How he groans! What Is the
matter with him. nurse?
Nurseries got the dclcrium tre-
mems.
Lady Ito maal-My friend, you
should give up strong drink. Don't
you know that you would be happier
and have more pleasure withcutitP
Patient--Don't know about that.
mum! I've been seeing circuses an
menageries an snalxes. an blue
monkeys with pink tails for Two days,
an / didn't have to pay to go; in nuth.
er.-Drako's Magazine.