The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-09
opANKs ON THE DEEP.
The Kinds That Infest the Trans
atlantic Passenger Steamers
savannah. Ga.

7bs Kinds That Infest the Trans
atlantic Passenger Steamers.
From the Netc York Herald.
One Of the trials an ocean traveller has to
endure in a trip to Europe is the crank. He
occurs in large numbers on all the trans
.tIa,tic steamers, and his forms are as
,,arioas as the waves of the ocean.
Foremost among this array is the nau
,ical crank He is generally between 20
and 81 years OF age, and II he could pur-
cbqso what he knows about navigation and
saT il for what lie thinks he knows, it
yyauId be a profitable speculation. He
hardly waits until the steamer gets through
the uarrows. before he begins to air his
knowledge of things nautical. His aim
seems 10 be to impress his fellow-voyagers,
and the tales he tells of experiences on pre-
vious trips would fill several large and
worthless volumes He delights in making
+inid people more timid, and then he tells
them lot to be afraid, that in times of
danger they must simply have presence of
mind
HIS PRESENCE OF MIND.
1t is astonishing how quickly this indi-
vidual disappears whenever a storm comes
I'D Ii sought he may be found crouchipg
IN his state room, AID If there Is the least
chance Of serious danger to the snip he IS
the greatest coward. Early in the voyage
he seeks TO cultivate the captains acQuaint
gnce. but the commander soon takes his
measure an let's min severely alene.
Another crank is tine photograph man
VINO wants TO take pictures of the passengers
in groups He disturbs everybody, ana If
i there are any prominent professional people
On board they are given no rest until their
q features divine, or otherwise, are trans
4 ferred to a negative.
THE OLD MAID CRANK.
The sentimental old maid is another bane
y to the ocean voyager. She is fond of sitting
on the promenade deck on quiet, moonlight
s nights aud her conversation is as soft as
q mush. Poetry is her stronghold. She never
9 has had an offer of marriage, and if she
8 should meet her fate on this trip, how ro-
81 mantle it would be-
So she dawdle5 and moons, talks poetry
and disguss every body. Without shadow
81 of common sense o. the faculty to make
herself pleasing or a comfort to any of her
suffering fellow travellers, and unblessed
with physical charms, the sentimental old
a maid crank on the ocean voyage is a sorry
OBJECT, as well as one to keep away from.
THE BLAsE CRANK.
Perhaps the most pitiable object of all is
the young man who has lived in New York
al MS llte and IS Just going abroad for the
s frSe time. He is the son of rich parents.
# and he has grown up with the idea that
81 there is nothing outside of New York that
IS worth having. He is not going abroad to
learn anything, for he has already grad
uated from Columbia college. and has moved
IN the best" society for two whole years,
*N besides fariucr int
he leeis rather proud of his experience
with the latter Glass; and refers to it once
In While IN complacent way. He wants
people ia think that he is a thorough man
QI tle world BY the world he means New
orK. lie tries to act as if he had drunk
Ihe cup OF pleasure to the very dregs. and
mas nothing more TO be interested in. He is
very naughty, very Indifferent and very
ULaSe. he has never earned a dollar in his
NE, and couldn't If he tried. No business
man would have him. His father has be-
come dlSgusted, and has bundled him off
" EUROPE, hoping that, by some sort of
s being. " "4iA0l 0ilU
i lie watches the preparations for depart-
ure with languid indifference. as a hirb
q a urn youth should, and it is not until the
s ter Is fairly out to sea that he takes
'n t1i slightest notice of anything.
co. iH !tl ne notices something It is-shall I
q say it!-hls stomach. He doesn't sac II Int
ne Ieels 1t, and for several minutes ba
makes more rapid movements than he has
b.; ears he lmagines himself on the
G W. LIN VI the grave at first, and an ocean
W. w. az Chat, but as he grows better he
e'n' W oraer the stewards about.
HIS FATHERS SON.
Fl H. if fe never do anything to please him
ora1 1e0 ~ may as an heir to a big estate he
81 80 So w W pe humored, and as his father haS
h. a+"I1 Ing to have him Cooked aftern
t tbo stewards humor him. DESPITE this ha
IIne a.ens TO report them for inattention
Jo ooo men he suddenly discovers that he
NJ own lhe steamer, and tor the rest of
Ind W., ,.'l age ne sulks He makes few friends
nono VIC" ,f ~ Che steamer arrives in LiyernooI
1Tbis snooiaS passengers are sorry to lose him.
t tets on steamers leaving New Verl, Hu III
generally come back in the aIIt,, ,'.-1
accent. 0"neS ana an English
OTHER SPECIMENS.
--0' 'idnNs OF whom l might
cneLe IS the religious cranl, who ,ra,4s
on I'VE everybody on board who ass,,ros
6barca" ' perhaps this may be the very last
lnav ~ d a. 10 one knows but the steamer
franls Go"h- hen there is the noIitic.1
Def is ,oi., oelieVes the country he has inst
Din "sfotis " rum, and wants to prove II
tunnv ,oa.istlcs, you know" There is the
s. Bon 5Utank, the man who thinks he 10
tuntv ,'tt ~ , and never loses an onnorl
rquiSi, ~ prove the contrary There Is The
h t5e '' cae. crank, the especial abborrence
cote nj f4p o,a and officers and there are
pr v,in,, v' to never mind. if Won
heet1 tb egs TO Europe this season YOU viii
b rbs.a ''Aen' Hroiled and Drenched.
II Ar. =, are three participles of Fno,ish -