Frostburg mining journal., 1889-12-07
STUFF AND NONSENSE.

DIITT AMI NONNEN NCE.
TooD for thought - brain nourish.
ers.
A sHADowED life-followed by de.
tective.
Iron bars are the most reliable sort
of appearance bonds.
THE pugilist ascends the ladder OF
fame round by round.
A PHILADELPHIA bootblack meets
the russct shoe fad half way with the
sign, Boots blacked yellow"
NEWSPAPER men have right to be
proud" Well-yes. Handling paste
pot is apt to make EN- little stuck
up.
TRAVELLER lin Ireland)-I don't see
low it is you people keep in such good
humor. Irishman-Sure we do niver
have enough to ate to get bilious.
"YEs," admitted the visitor, when
the proud mother exhibited her baby.
"he has his fathers nose, but don't
worry. 1t may not be always that red. "
MAMMA QUEER Ito her little SOM
There, now, don't bother me; I'm busy.
Go and play with the old cat. Tommy
Queer-Why, mamma, that's what the
nurse said TO papa yesterday.
JACK Charley, why don't you pro-
pose to the Widow Green's daughter?
She's rich and is regarded as the pearl
of her sex. Charley know it, my
boy, but | dislike the mother of pearl.
A TERRIBLE burden: Clara What a
terrible noise that wagon makesl
George it's dreadful, isn't it?
"What makes it groan SO, George?"
"Why, it is filled with green apples.
DocroR SQuILLs- There is nothing
serious, sir: your wife has merely bit q
little skin off the end of her tongue.
Mr.. Hcnpeck- End of her tongueY
Great Scott! | didn't know there was
any end to it.
"DARRINGER, what's become of tho
friend Two seen you with for week."
Il cut him. His name is Hava-
drink, and every time called him that
he said L don't care if L do He was
too expensive"
JUDGE Ito police oflicer)-Are yon
| sure, sir. that the prisoner WAS drunk?
Oificcr-Is it dhrunk, your honor?
Shure af he nd sphoke through the
tiliphone the BIRTH NV i'm nd av made
the poles shtagger.
DRUG CLERK (briskly)-Tnsect pow.
der? Yes, ma'am. Here's some Swed-
ish insect powder that's highly recon-
| mended. Customer-I don't know
whether that will answer. Mine are
| plain American insects.
| CHIEF TO industrious clerk in govern.
ment ice,-Why didn't you dot the
Il" in the last word of your report last
night. Industrious clerk-I beg your
pardon; but the clock struck just at
that point, and | didn't care to work
| overtime.
FIRST DRuMMER-Last week I took
! the biggest order of the season. Second
| Drummer don't believe word of it.
First Drummer-Hou don't, eh? Well,
perhaps you'll believe this triumphant
ly producing a paper. Here is letter 1
just got canceling it.
"YoUNG man." said minister to a
member of his congregation, do you
know what relations you sustain i'll this
| world?" well, Just at present the only,
relation | am sustaining in this world
is my fatherin-law, but you can just!
gamble on it | am not going to sustain
him very long" was the reply.
LAST Sunday evening an East Side
widow, who was known to the entire
congregation TO be greatly in want of
husband, was PRAYING with great fer
vcncy. "Oh, thou knowest the desire
of my hcartw she exclaimed. "a
M-A-N!' responded brother, with
broad accent. Thy will be done"
exclaimed the widow, amid snicker
from the congregation.
| BEAUTY AND HER BEAST.
| 60 JGck, de Hr Nclls engaged, hear;
| They say to such Il bear.
| 1t seems an awful sacrifice
| And she young and fair.
| Ii 5 her first season, but perhaps,
| Mamma made her say yes
| He awful rich. but such IL bear.
| What = that You say you guess
| I've got some rather strange ideas?
| He y not u bear but tail,
| Handsome and young What do you
| mean
| "A Wall street bear that's ALL"