davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1889-10-19
WIT AM WISDOM

A great intellect requires a pure
hea I IA much as the dullest inte. IL
gence.
Custom Is prLson. locked and
barred by those who long ago wore
dust, the keys Of which are in the keep
ing of the dead.
Death Is like thunder In two par
ticulars: We are alarmed at the sound
OF il; and II is formidable only from
that W which preceded it.-Colton.
Tight shoes and whisky are bad for
the human system. One makes the
corns grow. aud the other swells the
head. Shoe and Leather Review.
There are men in-4hissx9sld Who
have more jawbone than backbone
They say a great many things that
they do not stand up Lo.-N. q. Plea
yuma
The censure OF our Hsilowmen.
which we are so prone To esteem u
proof OF our superior wisdom. is too
often only the evidence OF the eonceit
that would magnify self. and Of the
from Others. It Edwards
1t has been well said that one .who
Is constantly endeayoring To vlndicate
his own reputation. usually has reputa-
ton which Is not worth vindicating
| A man who Is genuinely right himself
will as a rule be his own vindication
without any special effort on his part.
independents
There Is no true and constant gen.
tleness without humility; while we are
so fond OF ourselves ws ar easily Of.
| Tended with others Let as be persuad.
ed that nothing Is due 10 Us. and then
| nothing will disturb ts let us Otter
think of our infirmities, and We shall
become indulgsnt toward those OF 9th
ers. Fenelon.
What man is going to be jolly. gen
erpus. attractive to you II you NEE
him with sour, insulting manners Tn,
treatment We receive IRON our friends
comes from our own actions. Thos,
who ARE surrounded with friends do no
! think OF self, do not struggle 10 be eH
teriain.ng; they are thoughtful OF thu
mind OF their neighbors
Notoriety is not fame. A man ma.
gain noioriety by his follies or by hi
Grim !: but fame comes only to thos
who nave forgotten themselves in thei
doing OF something worthy Of the.
best endeayors. A man may gain noto
ri,ty by pursuing 1t, but fame Is ordi
narily gaineo by him who Is pursuing
some object of anseltish effort IS.
Times
Occasionally good thoughts hocl
about US and perch ON every cornic
and gable OF our minds. making for u
sweet music such rs our hearts wish
But often they refuse TO come at ali
and In their stead disagreeable one
gather about us and eroRk all kinds q
dissonance. We hardly know why; W
only know The fact. Uiited PreshS
esrian.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1889-10-19
On Dangerous Ground.

They were getting a kidergarten
lesson. The teacher took them as very
simple subjects She touched table.
What is this9s
Wood.
What is thisPf she asked. as she
touched the fender.
"Ironn
What Is thisP' and she took up an
acid bottle.
Glass"
What is thiss' and she touched her
watch ehain.
Brass, said one s0all boy. and she
changed the subject San Francisco
Chronicle
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1889-10-19

-''Majolica" was the name at first
given by the Italians 10 certain kind
OF earthenwnre because the first speci-
mems that they saw came from Major
ca But as subsequently large man
ufacture of the same kind Of earthen-
ware. was carried on at Faenza. the
name ..maiolica" was dropped and
"faienee. substituted. The term ma
jolica Is now used to designate vessels
made OF colored clay and coated with
white opaque yarnish so as to resemble
.iaience;' but II Is OF much less value
. than the latter.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1889-10-19
The La,es, and Worst.

why" asked the railway traveller.
In spirit of jest. do so many people
visit Chicago2'
And then. when his companion had
said he would have ITO give it up. the
punster gayly exclaimed:
For divorce reasons! Chicago
Globe.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1889-10-19

One Of the most serious defects in
the feminine mind, remarks the Ro-
chester Union. Is the inability Ia deal
with machinery. Il Is u rare thing TO
find woman who really grnsps the
idea OF u mechanical eoniriyance 30 Us
10 sci il to rights II il goes wloEs.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1889-10-19

In the stomach of COW which died
In Sussex County. n. j.. we've found 1
number OF stones the size of large wal
nuts and a cast-iron bed-roller
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1889-10-19

A man never knows that woman
has any old clothes until he has married
her. Aichison Globe.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1889-10-19

The typewriting business nets from
g.. 500 10 5000 TO many y yoang
woman In New York Civ,
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Cars for the Dead.

The Brill car works, at Thirty-flrst and Chestnut streets, Philadelphia, have just finished three streets cars designed to trans port the dead in Buenos Ayres. The cars are unique in construction and are the first of the kind made in this country. They are f1rst' second and third class, the first being de signed to carry the body of a wealthy indi- vidual, tho last the corpse of a pauper. The first-class car is very handsome. The body is a rich black toned with purple, with pas sion flowers painted on the sides. The win dows are of French plate glass. The seats folding up against the sides, are upholstered in black plush and the window curtains are black cloth trimmed with gold bullion.
 In tho forward end of the car is an altar, with silver cross and candelabra, while on either side the altar are cathedral purple stained windows. The interior of the car is finished in white and gold. The metal work is nickle plated and handsome in design. On the top nine large sable plumes are placed. The other cars are much simpler and palmer in design, and the third-class car has merely a row of shelves for the collins. These cars are intended to run on the street-car tracks in Buenos Ayres and wilHbe switched of on a side track nearest the house of the dead person. The body is carried on bier to the car, placed inside, the mourners seat them selves around, horses are attached and the car proceeds on It's way to the cemetery Philadelphia Times.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
very coea for . Detective Yarn.

\ lady and gentleman were travelling to. gether on an English railway. They were perfect strangers to each other. Suddenly the gentleman said:
 Madam. will trouble you to look out of the window for few minutes; ; I am going to make some changes in my wearing apparel !"
 Certainly, sir," she replied, with polite ness, rising and turning her back upon him. In short time he said:
 "Now, madam, my change is complete, and you may resume your seat"
 When the lady turned she beheld her male companion transformed into dashing lady, with heavy veil over her face.
 ''Now, six, or madam, whichever you like, said the lady. "I must trouble you to look out of the window, for I also have some changes to make in my apparel" Certainly, madam" and the gentleman in ladies attire immediately complied.
 "Now. sir, you may resume your seat"
 To his great surprise, on resuming his seat. the gentleman in female attire found his lady companion transformed into man. He then laughed and said:
 'It appears that we are both anxious to avoid recognition. What have you done? l have robbed bank
 And l." said the whilom lady. as he dex- teriously fettered his companions wrists with pair of handcuffs, "am DetectiveJ J -ofScotland yard, and in female apparel have shadowed you; now," drawing re- volver, keep still. San Francisco Wasp.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
A Profassional Appeal.

According to the Medical Gazette the fol- towing letter was received by physician from man whom he knew, practicing medicine and desiring counsel: ''dear Dock, have pashunt whose physical sines shows that the wind-pipe has ulcer ated on and his lungs have drop down into his stumick have given hym everry thin without effeckt her father is welthy hon. able and influenshal as he is member of as- sembly and god nose don't want to loos hym what shall do ans by return male Yours frat"
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
An Euereetic Railroad Prestdent.

prominent railroad man says that if Mrs. Gould. of the Covington and Macon railroad, were man she would be the best railroad worker in the world. To show the truth of this he gives little incident. During the last heaV rain part of the track washed up and several cars were derailed, while some of the employees were hurt. The superin- tendant of the work was standing around, and hardly knew what to do. In about three hours afterward crank car could be seen coming down the track at a rapid rate, with six men and Mrs. Gould. Upon reaching the scene she jumped off the car, administered brandy to the sufferers while she had fire made and placed thereon a teapot, the con- tents to be used by the wounded. In the meantime she had all the hands put to work, and it was only a short time until the whole wreck was put in order. During the time, though, she saw one of the hands trying to play off, and immediately took out her pocketbook and paid him and told him to quit. This he did not like to do, but the other hands forced him. Whom one of the hands does not do his duty she at once pays him up and ships him. It is said she is very lavish with money, and Athens will probably be much better off, financially, now that she has taken the construction of the road in hand. This is something, though, that the people down this way seldom see.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Oplum-Eattng in India,

In almost any village of Guzerat if not in all, you may see among the Hindoos the list less, apathetio manner and dull, sleepy eye of the opium-eater Anywhere there it is only necessary to ask for little kasumba to be offered 1t on all sides. The mode of making that drink is not pleasant to see. A little crude opium is produced and placed on a small ball of raw cotton. The maker holds this in the palm of his hand and pours little water on it. He kneads the opium into the wet cotton and goes on pouring water till the cotton is saturated with brown fluid. He then squeezes it out as from sponge into the palm of his hand, and you are in- vited to sit on the ground while he pours the dirty stuff into your mouth, from still dirtier hand.
 The opium eater is always dirty. These people ask but little food. Opium eaters have no appetite. They will work just as much as they are compelled to do in order to procure their drug. Ask them why their fields are uncultivated or half-tilled. and they say, "Look at the labor we should have to undertake" Theylistlessly drag one foot after another, silent and half asleep. In one village the reply given to an inquirer, who asked If the people were well off, was, "How could we be when opium Is so deare" No wonder the active little Mahrattas walked this country. More than half the outlawry of the province is due to opium smuggling. Where the cultivators have managed to keep to a certain extent free from the opium f1end they are invariably we'll off.-London Globe.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Columb bias Lofty Carttal.

Bogota, the capital of Columbia, is situated in the "heart of the Andes" som sthing over 1000 feet above the sea level and ranks as the third highest city in the Western hemis- phere, Potosi and Quito only taking preced- ence There is peculiar tradiction as to the event of its founding, in 1542. It is related that three Spaniards set out with the purpose of selecting a capital for the new vice royalty of New Grenada. One entered the territory through Venezuela, a second ascended Mag dalena. while the thirds gateway was by the Pacific coast. All meeting on the spot where the city is now located on the same day. with the Spanish superstition they hailed the pres ent clty under the name of Santa Fe dc Bogota." Later the "Santa Fe" was dropped, and it remains simply Bogota. It's popula- ton is estimated at about 60 ,000
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Rerl,n,s Old Maid Club.

Berlin started an Old Maids Club, with a provision for 8 fine of 1000 marks upon every one who arried. The club was a great success, but A.,ddenly an epidemic of marriage set in, and at the annual meeting this year only one member was left, and she found herself called upon to dispose of 2S, 900 marks, the accumulation of the fines paid by the former members. She took the advice of the ex-members, and it was de- cided that half the sum should go to a hospital, and the solitary old maid should have the rest for herself.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Why They staid Away.

Parson-There were few present at the prayer meeting yesterday evening. I suppose they were detained at home by the heavy showers
 Deacon-That's what I thought at first, but I had my suspicious and I de- termined to sift the matter to the bot tom.
 What do you mean, DeaconP"
 II 1mean that I went to the circus and my worst fears were realized, for there were all the absent members, and they not only staid until the performance was over. but they attended the concert after wards. I never was so mortified in all my life e"-Slftings
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
HER 7HOU6HT TN.
She is . very modest maid,

She is very modest maid.
 The little nlaid sing. And blushes of the rose 8 shade ,..-ii Her dtmple-dotted cheeks perva0o When compliments bring. She thinks she isn't pretty. though Therein she's very wrong Her mouth is just Cupid bow. And her bright eyes such darts do throw. One can't withstand them long. 6he thinks that no one cares for her, No lovers heart she'll gain; And here. again, does sadly err. For there is one, I can aver,
 Bound fast in Cupid's chain. And though her thoughts no one should douh&
 l may not all. you see; For what ti.i.k the most about, And now es,ing to ind out Is what she thinks q6 me!
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13

Reversing enc Thtnr.

Landlord to applicant for tenemsnt Have you any children?
 Applicant-None.
 L.-Then you can have the tenement. Applicant, to landlord-Have you any children?
 L.--Yes, I've four. n A.-Then I don't want your tenement. L.-Why not?
 A.-Because I make it rule never to hire of a landlord who has children Boston Courier
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Where Jones and Brown Were.

Wife, to husband coming in late-What kept you so late tonight, dear?
 Jones, who is aware that his wife knows nothing of the muse of dancing-Brown and have been contributing to the SUD- port of Terpsichore.
 Mrs. Jones, petulantly-Just like you. Running around with subscription paper to support some shiftless good-for- nothing. Better contribute more to the support of your own family.-!Siftings.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Two Opinions.

Brown, who has just won case-ad- dressing friend-That was a most in- telligent jury. --- Green, who has just lost his case-ad-
 dressing a friend-That jury was the greatest set of numbskulls I ever saw in my life.-Boston Courier
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
On The Elevated.

WHe-That is such an affectionate coup1o over there. heard him call her "deaS" several times as if he meant it.
 Husband (gruffly)-Of course he meant 1t. She has got three hundred dollar sealskin saQue on.-Siftings.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Engagement Announced.

"Clara," he whispered, ardently, ''do you think you could bring yourself to marry me?" ..
 "No, George" she answered. with sad little smile. II couldn't very we'll bring me, though, George. e."-Harper's Bazar.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
A Good RoRa0n,

Mamma-Howard, are you going to takS part in the tree planting at school on Arbor day2
 Howard, mphatically-No, I haint; there's huff switches growth round our school ilow.-Life.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Success Dtmcult.

MT. Lythewaite-It's too bad about poor Langley. His publisher has sold only twenty copies of his book of poems.
 Billpid-Indeed, I'm surprised. And he is an excellent poet.
 Lytewaite-Oh yes; an excellent poet, but you see he doesn know a dialect. : Time
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
An Unpardonahla Krror.

Father-Mr. Saud, the grocer, tells me be discharged you for swindling him. This is terrible disgrace to the family.
 Son-I couldn't help it, father He gave me some lead to put under the scales, and I made mistake and put 1t on the wrong side.-Life.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
A Mystery.

Texas man-So this Is your northern shad, is 1t?
 New Yorker-Yes, 1t Is the finest tast- ing feh in the world.
 I 1euppose So, but tell me, how did the meat ever get in between the bones ?- Sfftfhos,
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
He spoke too Quick,

MT. I. Harry Cash, petulantly-Anna, before we were married, you did not make such frequent demands upon me for money.
 Anna-Sir!
 "Oh, ah my dear, how much did you say would do you?-Siftings.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
A Long Ceremony.

Better not wait for Charlie any longer You know what it Is when fellow Is calling on his girl.''
 "Ah, there they are now! He, is just bidding her goodnight"
 ''All right; let us go and have game 9f billiards. We'll just have time."- Life.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
AlNever Failing Supply.

Brown-Your teacher can't be such Q mean man as you make out. I notice his son has all the toys he can possibly need.
 Little Johnnie-Why dad, those are what his father takes away from the other boys.-Harper's Bazaar.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
A Knowledge Of Mem.

Mes Penelope Peachblow-My con- plekien Is hoFib1o today. have half a m4RdAot to go.
 Miss Dolly Fucker-Put on pair of red stockings and you'll be safe so far as the men are concerned.-Life.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13

grew paler and weaker.
 Like a worm in the bud," something seemed to be consuming her life.
 Her mother sought the cause. It was not heart trouble; it seemed to be some mysterious malady.
 Weaker and weaker she grew until @ doctor was called, but he either did
 not understand her case
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Hard to Please,

Mistress-So you are going to go? Servant-Yes; don't like it here.
 "You have had no cause to complain. You have had an easy time of it, for faction. ."-Siftings.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
He Knew Her.

Mrs. Hendricks-Bertie, your mother is calling you.
 Bertie Teaser-Yes'm, I know it. But I guess she don't want me very bad.
 Mrs. Hendricks - She's called you seven times already.
 Bertie Teaser-Yes, I know; but she hasn't yelled ''Albert," yet.-Time.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Rusiness is Business.

"Your excellency," remarked the post- master-general to Benjamin Harrison, II have marked a large advertisement in this paper. Will you kindly hand it to Mfa. Harrison7"
 Its Philadelphia paper, see''
 ''Yes, sir. Just gentle reminder. see by the papers that she has been shop ping in New York-Life,
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
A Case or self-Defsuse,

(Which do you love most, your papa or your mammal"
 Little Charlie--I love papa most.
 Charlie's Moth er-Why, Charlie, am surprised at you. I thought you loved me most.
 Charlie-Can't help it, mamma; we men have to hold ogether.-Siftings
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Not a Bowling Acquafntance.

Bronson-Why, I thought you knew Sammis?
 Harkins-I do.
 Bronson--Well, you didn't bow as we passed him a moment ago.
 Harkins-BecauseI know him too well. -Harper'S Bazaar.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
NOTICE.

nEPUTY Internal Revenue Collector M. J u Bradley will be in his office, 70 East Main street, Waterbury, Rooms and 9, from May to H. for the purpose of issuing special U. s. inter- nal revenue licenses Office hours from to 12 a. m, 1:30 to 4 D. m.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Still Doen.

Ex-Alderman-Oh, yes, I'm still deep III politics.
 Friend-Yes; so I heard. It was last fall you was showed under, believe. - Harpers Bazar.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
What He Commnnded

A.-They call him Colonel. What did he command during the war :?
 B.-He commanded small salary as sutler's clerk k.-Siftings.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Hardly Worth While.

New Roarder-Madam. do you really propose to say grace over this breakfast?
 Boarding Mistress--Yes, sir, 1t is my invariable custom.
 "Yes, I know, but do you think it worth while-nothing but thin coffee and fried liver?-Siftings.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
A nIiti9ated Vegetarian.

Brown-I thought you were vegeta- rian, but hear you eat mutton.
 Robinson-I am not a bigoted vegeta- rian only eat the meat of such ami mals as live on vegetable food.-Sift- inpS
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
A Constderate Friend.

A-Can you let me have five dollars? left all my money at home and haven't a cent with me.
 B-Sorry can't lend you the five dol lars, but here is a nickle car fare. Now you can ride home and get your money. -SiftingS,
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
At The Circus.

Dude-Why is it that every clown has such stupid face? :? Is he obliged to look stupid :?
 Clown-Certainly. If I had your face my salary would be doubled at once.- SiftingS
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Proof Not Needed.

"I'm awfully sorry, don't you know, that these Knickerbockers are not more the fashion. Gives feller an opportu- nifty of showing g calf"
 "Oh, your conversation does that tp'- Life
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
whatHe Realized.

Brown-What did you realize from your deal in wheat
 Smith-vI have realized that I was Q blank fool ever to have gone into it, SiftinpS
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Tho Wild West,

Berkeeper-Is it true you lynched that tei1derfoot2
 Oowboy-Yes.
 Barkseper-Horse stealing? Q0wtoy-No; he wore a plug hat.- J1d6e
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
A YOUNG WOMAN's WOES.
The Care and Anxiety which Her Mother Felt and How Near 1t came to . Sad Ending.

The daughter of one of the leading lawyers of Boston young ladyof fourteen. began last sum- mer, to complain of weakness and wearinees. Her parents did not think it necessary to consult physician and SO day after day passed and sh,
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
An Ambition Eastly Grntffied.

Thinskyn-What a rare endowment is originality! I wish 1 could do some- thing out of the ordinary
 Friend-You might pay your board hill Time
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Mathem a ticaI Item.

Teacher-What is an unknown quan- tity
 Coal dealers son-What you get when you buy ton of coal.-Siftings.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
Curio.ittes Of Cheap Labor.

Patrick-We're ruined by Chinese cheap labor.
 Patron-In what way Patrick? sPatrick-Sure, they're carryin more the rest O us can make in loifetime.- Time
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
wAsHINGTON ExPREss.

For Newburgh. Philadelphia Baltimore and WashingtC n with Pullman Sleeping Cars, 10. .42 pm Boston, 3:10 a m. Worcester 3:16 m. Putnam, 310 m Willimantic, 31O am. Hartford, 3:10 m; return 9:3O a. m. New Britain, 3:10 m; return, 9:4S D. m. Danbury, 1042 p m; return, 200 a m. Fishkill on Hudson 10:42 m; return, 1920 m
 A. c. KENDALL. Gen'l Pass Agent, Boston c H. PLATT, Supt., Hartford
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13
What Ae Lacked,
Good Renson Why.

Whats the matter, little boy?" "That feller hit me-"
 'Weu, I wouldn't cry if 1 were you." 'Course you wouldn't, cause you're biz enough ter lick him '-Lise.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-05-13

Not even hapless, homeless tramps es- cape the fatal day The weary tenants' moving time, the joy less 1st of May.-Harper's Bazar.