Morning journal and courier., 1889-08-07
GET OUT :

You can never get in to the good graoes of
young woman by watching her get out Of q
Observation-Disclosures.
The New York convict who is condemned
to die by electricity has no such voting am
bition.-Lowell Courier.
Pedestrian Ito applicant for oharity)-"Go
shoot yourselfl" Guzgle, the Tramp (sadly)
"I amt loaded. Epoch.
When the echoolmaster whips one of the
Rir]s-l eseii seiit a arurr::-rn1ladelphi : Press.
The man with red cards and bobtail dia-
mond flush wants a change of heart about as
bad as anybody.-Merchanr Traveller.
To Stop the Sale of Liquor-Tenperance
Leeturer-''F Friends, how can we atop the
sale of nquora" Milligan Tin rear of hal)-
"Give 1t away. Time.
Mother ito her little son)-Johnny, 60 to
the butchers and see if he has any pigs feet.
Johnny ION his return)-Mamma, he had big
boots and couldn't see his feet
A Jersey City policeman having offered bis
| hand to young lady, which was refused, he
| arrested her. "What is the eharges" asked
| the sergeant at the station-house. "Resist-
| ing an offer, cir" was the reply.-Texas
siftings.
"You s-s-s say you can t.tell f-feller
h-how tito av-v-void stut-stut-tutering
flor wo-w-one d-dollari" eyes" "W-well
! h-h-here's y-your d-dollar. H-how can I
| av-v-void stut-tut>terings" "Don't talk
Harper's Bazaar.
Miss Kirkwood-"Don't you like to 60
down to the shore in summer and listen to
| what the wild waves are sayingi" Miss Lake
View (frankly)-"I can't ,say that do, but
I like to 60 down to the seashore In summer
and listen to what the young man is saying
I-Chioago Journal.
Cam too late with my poem, Mr.. Edt-
| tors" "No." ''Thank goodnessi Pm drenehed
| through, and look at the ton of mud on my
boots; but got there in time, cha Oh, by
the way-I want footnote to lthe poem
to have forgotten" "Eni What's thatf
| aUse the matp'-Chicago Ledger.
| Old Lover-"I know I am old enough tc
be your grandfather, but, my darling, have
an immense fortune to bestow upon you.
| Young heart-sI hesitate to answer" OLD
lover-."Do not keep me in suspense. have
| heart disease, and under excitement 1 am
likely to die at any moment" Young heart
-"Then will be yours."-Omaha World.
Saysit Anyhowe-How did you ever come
| to marry Mrs. Barrett? Grinand Barrett
| (frankly)-I married her for her money; sh'
said she'd be worth a million on her wedding
day-estimated me at that figure, you know
Saysit Anyhowe-Why, she deceived 70.
shamefullyl Grinand Barrett-Well. was
deceived, that's fact; but, Great SCOTT
man, just think how she got leftl-The
Epoch.
Friend Ito theatrical spontaneously
doubt there are great many disagreeabl
things connected with the theatrical profes
sioni' Actor-''Yes, indeed" Friend
"What do you find to be most disagreables
Aetor-'The way in which the railroad tie
are laid. They are either too far apart OF to
near together for comfortable pedestrianism.
Yankee Blade.
Bobby-"Mr. Brown, was behind the sc
ia in our parlor last night and think an
| derstood Marie to tell you she would lov
Won as sister" Mr. Brown-"Yes, that
what she said" Bobby-''Well, I'm he
brother, and all I've got to say Is that If sh
, doesn't love you any more than she does mi
. you're foolish to waste your money buyin
, ice cream for her."-Omaha World.