The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-11-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


water.
The tailor frequently has pressing
business ON hand.
The woodcutter need never 90 hungry.
He can always have a chop.
Orators climb the ladder Of fame by
means of rounds of applause.
The man who goes to the seashore
resort for change generally comes back
without any.
The cat, after making its protest, fire.
quently rises to give some additional
claws to the argument.
She-"All extremely clever men are
awfully conceited." He-"Oh, don't
know; I'm not. "-LondoR Tit Bits.
A lisping man does injustice to the
young woman of the period, because in
his case a miss is always myth.-Judge
The young man whose poem is rejected
should rejoice. His reward comes ten
years later, when he looks over the manu-
script of that poem.
''Don't you feel well to-day, dear9"
asked the dressmaker of the seamstress,
and the seamstress replied softly: "Only
sew-sew. SomergiHe Journal.
Joneson to fortune teller have
told me that l am to be married soon,
Will you kindly tell me when am to he
separated from the present Mrs. Joneson9'
Briggs Hello, Braggs! I've just
got back from the lakes, you know -"
Bragg-"Tm very sorry, my boy, but
haven't got cent. '-Terre Haute E1.
press.
''If coming events casts their shadows
BEFORE" said Johnny, just after he had
been severely by his irate parent,
'the occurrence leaves its marks be.
hind"
Servant Madam, the doctorr
Lady (who is having delightful call
from neighbor)-"It is impossible to
receive him now. Say that am n.y.
Wasp.
GLOW We Are Governed" is the title
of book published not long ago. We
haven't read it, but presume it is the ex.
perience of married man.--Neio York
journal.
First Doctor-'I hear you treated my
neighbor for typhus fever. Was it a bad
case?n Second ditto-"Very bad the
man never paid his bill. ll."-0ferbaeheI
Zeituug.
She-'What were you doing to-day"
He-'I was reading Looking Rack.
ward =" She-"Dear me! How awk-
ward Didn't it hurt your neckf'-
Chicago Journal.
The difference between a humble bee
and a lynching bee is that the former
ends with a sting and the latter with a
swing. Western papers please COPY
Clerelaad Leader.
II you eat roast goose on Michaelmas Day
No money you'll lack the year round, they
say.
That's the reason that editors poor we meet;
The poor fellows never have goose to eat.
-GOOddtPS SttR.
All that men do in this world is for
the sake of woman. She is the spur Of
action and keeps the world in activity"
This may be true, but it is noticeable that
wherever she may be there is now less
hustle than formerly.
First Waiter Girl-"Do you ever get
any tips, Mary, at your place!" Second
Waiter Girl-'The gentlemen sometimes
tips their hats to me- F. w. c.
'That's something. They don't do
that even at our place. Boston Courier.
Welded BLISS.
God bless our wives
They fill our lives
With little bees and honey;
They ease life's shocks
And mend our socks
But-dont they spend the money!
-MorriS and ESSe6 Record
Baldheaded and very homely old gentle
man to photographer: ''Drat such pictures
Can't you make me look any better than
that after five sittings" Photographers
thoroughly eXasperateD' 81 think can,
sir, if you will allow me to take the back
of your head. 1t hasn't so much express
sion as the other side, but it's blamed
sight prettier. Burlington Free Press.