Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1889-04-03

and we shook hands heartily. strange.
to think that ] have combed your hair
and washed your face every day for the
last twenty-six years, and yet never
shook hands with you until to-day?'
Queer, amt It? And now if you
will turn around l can See the back OF
my neck said he.
Amt we a nice pair of April foolsP'
1 inquired, after We had laughed at our
own folly, in the manner peculiar to
our kind.
'Don'tp he exclaimed, deprecatingly.
Il have heard of April fools, to-day,
until / am tired all over. You see
am a married man, and my wlfe's
mother, and two of my sisters live with
us. Last year l was smart enough to
get ahead of the whole crowd of
women, on this fool business, and
to-day they are paying me back
Too many for you, are they?'
'Ratheri To begin with, my wife
stopped the clock last night, and got
me up at midnight to build a fire and
draw a bucket OF water. Then she
told me L was an April fool, and ad-
vised me TO go to bed.
'Yesl'
Then Sister Kate painted the baby's
face with some kind of red stuff, and
gave HIM the butcher knife to play
with, then hollered for help. 1 don't
know when have had such a fright
before. Then Sister Molly boiled eggs
for breakfast, and when L broke one,
there was nothIn' there but the shell;
and finally the old lady got me to try to
| put laudanum ard cotton iii her hollow
tooth, when the Lord knows she hasn't
had a tooth in her head for ten years.
We'll, L suppose you are going to get
even with themP'
I'D give up all hopes, but If you will
help me III try 'em for luck. See
here, Mr.. -, what did you call your
self?'
'IIigginson-Charley Higginson.'
We'll, Mr.. Higginson. You are
travelling, 1 see. Would your business
admit of your laying over for a dayP'
My dear, sIr,' L began, Il never
allow personal affairs to obstruct the
pathway of duty, and when l meet a
fellow creature in such evident dis
| tIeSS-'
That's me- he assented, gleefully.
Il am an object for public pity. if there
ever was one, but If you Will take a
hand In the game, We'll change all
that. See here, now, do you thlnk you
could fill the position OF the Lord of the
| the head of a most interesting family
group for few hours, with credit to
yourself and the good causeP'
1t would be lots of fun II we could
carry it out successfully sald /, very
much taken with the originality OF the
scheme.
'Oh. there is no danger Of failure.
he replied, reassuringly.
'Sally-that's my wife-has gone over
to Billy Watson's 10 see their new
baby, and won't be home till late; and
the old lady is too near blind to ever
find out the difference
But your sisters?'
oh, Ill put you on to way to pull
the wool over their eyes. It's go,
amt it?' Don't say MOI all we have
to change now is our coats and hats,
for see we both " ear ducking overalis,
and our boots are about the same style.
Oh, Great Bostoni I'll show them
girls who's the April FOOL
The next thing is a horse-swap.
said Miller, as he drew my broad
brimmed hat down over his ears i
am only going a couple of miles up the
road, and won't ride your horse hard.
| Now let me give you a few pointers.
The only danger of discovery is from
sister Molly lie added, finally. she
was brought up by an aunt in East
Texas, and received no education, but
she is as sharp as steel trap, and
you'll have to keep your eyes open
when she is around. However, If you
follow my directions you Will be all
right You see, am subject to fits oi
neuralgia, and you want to make 'em
think you've got an awful bad attack.
How will l manage it?'
Easy enough. Take this red hand.
kerchief and tie 1t around your jaw.
There, that hides half of your face.
Now ride back to the house and tie
your horse just inside the gate; the
girls will take care of him. Go into
the room on the left OF the hall, and
drench your face with pain killer-you
Will find the bottle on the fireboard-
and then flop over on the bed and
groan. If any body speaks to you,
hold on to your jaw and growl. Don't
cuss, but use as strong language as
would be permissible for a leader IN the
Sunday school, and a deacon in tht
Mt Pisgah Church. II you have tC
saw anything of double strength, say
Great Bostonl That's my own private
property; and they are used to hearing
it, And now that you are thoroughly
posted, here's my hand. Goodbye
and good luck to you. L will drop il
at twelve O'Clock, and see how you arr
getting along and he rode off up the
hill, highly elated at tile contemplated
Joke upon his unsuspecting wife anC
sisters.
1 fulfilled his directions to the letter
Leading the big sorrel inside the gate
L threw the bridle-rein over picket
r. L. H..
tiower-bed with his forefeet and demol
ish a rosebush with his heels. L fel
no apprehension but that the girl
! would attend TO his case as soon as thel
saw him. No one was visible abou
the house as entered, but the clatte
of earthenware and the murmur o
feminine voices indicated the localit,
of the kitchen. 1 opened the door OF
, the left of the hall; threw my hat IL
one corner of the room, and my boot
in the middle of the floor; got hold o
the liniment bottle and rubbed my jaw
with its odorous contents; kicked owe
chairs, and stretched myself on th'
. bed. There were two beds in tn
room. l took the one nearest tb-
, fire. place.
,. The clatter of the falling chai
brought a small boy upon the scene
. IL is wonderful how boys will natural.
gravitate to a racket. This particula
! kid was, perhaps, four years old, an:
small for his age, but he grasped tn
situation at once and proceeded I
make comments thereon
That's granny's bed SAID he.
E 1 lay perfeltly quiet. Of course, tn
r genuine Dick Miller would have know
E whose bed it was without any telling
| | and, il he had found 1t convenient I
repoSe thereon, would hardly hav
= moved for forty 'Grannies.'
: .I'm gOin' 70 tell her, daddy cor