The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1889-08-15
A PerpleX3ng Question.

A great part OF our leisure time. OF which
we have such an abundance. is devoted to
thinking: and if our thoughts but resolve
themselves into some good purpose. to be
carried into effect IN the future. the time
spent here will not have been wasted. Many
among us can ascribe their present trouble
to want of forethought rather than as re-
suit Of premedltation. But this excuse will
no longer hold good nor can we intrench
ourselves behind it after leaving here, where
we have had ample time for calm and serious
reflection. Good thoughts are guests which
endeavor to make the most Of their chaste,
though it may be infrequent. visits.
The thoughts of people are. to great eX-
tent. Influenced by their immediate sur
rOundaugs: and so. with many of us. they
are apt to be of a gloomy and depressing
nature on account Of the perpetual remind
ers of the degradation into which we have
fallen. that 50 plentifully encompass us on
every side. But of all the channels into
VIII ch we allow our thoughts to drift. the
continual contemplation of our msfortunes.
is the one to be most avoided and the one
which. if persl slsted in. is likely TO result in
wrecking u both mentally and physically:
we should therefore aim to meet our trou
bic in a philosophical manner. bearing in
mind the truth of the Old adage. What
can't be cured must be endured"
There are those again. who go to eX
tremeo in another direction. in futile at
tempt ty escape from their thoughts alto
gether. When not engaged in the tasks to
WI hoX prlr 1arIx ,pL tI,n,-
plOy their time in reading. writing and such
studies as will best tend to concentrate their
mind upon the matter in hand. to the eX-
ciusiOn of a consideration of their present
condition. LIN this they often succeed until
it comes time to WOO the drOwsy god, and
sleep comes not 10 their eyes: it is then that
thoughts come unbidden. and like BanQuo's
ghost. will not down. 1t is then we realize
in full force with what incOnceivable rapid
ity thought can travel in trice. as it were,
we are carried back in memory to child
hood thence to youth, and on to manhood.
Every remarkable incident in our life comes
to mind and passes before us in review. We
can now plainly see how very easily we
could have avoided doing the things we
should not have done. and vainly wish that
it were in our power to begin life again at
the starting-pOint with all our acquired
knowledge.
But my limited space prevents my giving
but an lnkling Of the many thoughts that
crowd upon us at such times, so l will pass
on to a consideration of the thought which
becomes uppermost and assumes paramount
importance as we draw nigh the end of our
imprisonment and our phantom visions of
liberty are soon to give way to the reality of
freedom. 1t is at this period of our con-
tinement that we begin to concern ourselves
more anXiOuSly about our future: and our
feelings OF JOY at cur near release are min
gled with some apprehension as to what the
future may have in store tor us. We are
undecided as to where we had best go to be-
gin life anew: what we had best do to re
trieve the ground we have lost, and re- es
tablish ourselves in the esteem of our fel-
low men. | AM well aware that some of us
look to the future with confidence if not
with cool Indifference: they prate of the
ease and ability with which they were able
to take care of themselves in the past, and
seem unmindful OF the fact that they are to
leave here handicapped with all the stigma
that seems to indelbly attach to all who
have borne the name of convict.
But amid our gloomy musings upon this
phase of the subject, we are cheered by the
fact that others have gone forth under the
same cloud: have had the same obstacles to
surmOunt, and have steadily pursued the
right course: succeeded IN triumphing over
the hindrances that beset them. And so,
what others have achieved. it is not impos-
slble Tor us to- attempt. and we too will sue
ceed if we determine to return TO the world
animated by the best of motives. and i'm
pressed with the feeling that we still have
something to live for life to begin;
Something to fight for something to win.'
TAMMANY