The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1889-09-07
PATERNAL COUNSELS.
What Alexander PhilOlOgus's Sire
Said to Him When he Left Home.

alexander Philologus," said the par
ent, in a voice of sad vet stern, ''you are
about to go forth into the wide world tc
carve out your fortune. No doubt you
have beautiful dreams of what you viii
yourself coming home home year from
now clad in velvet and fine linen.
trust that you may come home that way
but fear that your garments may be
composed of burlap. You confidently
expect to drive homeward down the sun
lit road In a gorgeous equipage with
servants and retalners; I trust that you
will not be Obliged to walk homeward
on the ties and get turnips from hired
men to keep soul and body together
You scoff at the idea, aud you may scofi
until the clangor of brazen bells an
nounce that the COWS are coming home.
1 nave heard young men sc"ff before at
words that were spiced with wisdom,
and I have seen them in after years drlv-
ing street cars and saving wood.
"The fact of the matter is, Alexander,
that you have lashly exaggerated idea
of your own importance in this dreary
world You foolIshly entertain the idea
that if you were to die to night the
earth would shudden and wheel back
ward. But 1t wouldn't. The sun would
rise Just the same, the stars would CLEAN
as brightly as ever, the creek would CUR
gle merrily on its way, there would still
be marriage and giving in marriage.
You would be LAID carefully away III u
nicelyaritting grave, my boy, and the
grass would grow over you, and the bru-
nette cow would eat the grass, and there
wouldn't be a single jolt IN the whole
world because of your death. 1t is unf"r-
tunate that you have made up your mind
that you know 1t all"
"When you have been jostled about
little while you will want to go 20
scheduled graveyard and weep. You
will be convinced that instead of know
ing it all that you don't suspect anything.
Man is like grourdhog in the path OF
a landslide, Alexander. If the ground
hog has sense enough TO get out of the
way 1t is all right; but if it cocks itself
up on its hind legs and looks wise 1t will
be everlastingly squelched. The bowlder
may be great deal bigger than the
pebbles about it, but when an idle
stranger fires in into the water it doesn't
take any longer to cover 1t up forever
than it would one OF the pebbles.
kew man once who could converse
fluently IN more languages than you
could shake cord of wood at; what he
didn't know about astronomy wasn't
worth knowing; there wasn't science or
an art on which he was not an authority;
his knowledge was simply sublime. He
forgot more every day than you can ever
hope to know. Yet this remarkable man
perished miserable IN a creek ten feet
wide because he had never learned to
SWIM. Go forth into the world, AlexaD-
der, but not with the idea that you know
it all.
TRY TO convince yourself that other
people may have beard thing or two
themselves and don't expect that they
will herald you rs the coming man.
The prodigal son was rather fly when he
left home, and you have heard how he
returned. He went back on his uppers,
without enough wealth to buy bowl OF
soup at fourtb-rate chop houses, anG
hundreds have had similar experience.
Go forth unostentatious and without any
drum major business. If you are not i'm
mediately offered situation as president
of bank 60 to work hoelng corn, Dig
ging wells or feeding threshing machines.
The world is full OF golden opportunities,
but the young man who is so mashed On
his dignity that he will not grasp them
is liable to be left in a most deplorable
and emphatic manner"
Mrs. Florence Maybrick.