Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1889-11-09
FLASHES OF FUN.

te>l of rustic simplicity about it.
Il NEED thee every hour" is what thu
j 'ck said to its striking apparatus.
HARD work is the best cure for the
blues; at least, thai IS what you al
ways tell other people.
CHAUNcEY DEPEw thinks the Ameri-
IN girl has had her day in England.
But can't she secure a Knight?
WHAT'S the difference between q Swiss
nountaineer and dandruff? One scales
5Le Alps and the other ails the scalps
WAS there enough of the remains
found to admit of an inquest?" %Oh,
yes! The coroner looked out for that"
AS ADAM remarked to Eve as they
sat outside the garden gate: We've
had an UNUSUALLY early fall, have We
aot?"
MEET me on the corner tonite," he
wrote, "and dew not faIe" And she
answered him." "There is no such
word as fale"
IT is not often that woman has hen
head completely turned but passing by
another woman's new bonnet gives the
head good twist.
"CLARA, that horrid Mr.. Slick has
Just left. I do think he has lying
tonguew Il shouldn't be surprised. J
know he has false teeth"
DON'T despair, Darringer; you'vt
got all the world before you" "Bu1
that's just the trouble, Bromley. PG
feel better if l had some of it behinG
me-"
LITTLE Dick-Do you go to circusesi
Circuses is wicked. Little Jacll-Yes:
the big shows is wicked, but the ten,
cent shows amt. Pop always takes ms
to them.
KIND Soul-My husband is such :
dear creature When am chopping
pile Of frewood out in the yard, he'll
sit half day before the fire and weeK
dG Ill luNlHS " Wi IA 81 uhlu
SMALL Son-Pa, what is a bachelor;
Henpecked Parent-A bacheloris a mar
who has resisted lall endeavors on tina
part of woman to render his life miser-
able through marriage"
CANTwAIrE-Say, do YOU remembea
that tve-dollar bill 1 loaned yoni
Owen Long Remember it, sir, neyel
forget favor ike that. You hayen9
got another one about You, have you?
Now, WHICH Of the great men Of thu
past would you rather be Robert?
asked the teacher aftera long and inter.
eating talk on the celebrities OF history.
None of EN-, replied Robert. promP&
ly. None of them! Why not?
"Cause they're all dead"
"THEY tell me you are going away
Yes; I'm going to publish a newspapea
in Kentucky" Have you purchaser
your type and press and SO on?" No
not yet; but I've just bought an elegant
/ w luClItolCl INT
VIsmoR-You don't mean to say tha,
you do sewing Sundays? How can YOU
do such a wicked thing? Lady of tina
House-Oh, but you know l always So
ut the back window Visitor Oh, well.
that's a different thing, Of course.
PAPA" she CRIED, quite breathlessIy
as she took off her bonnet, is not my
dress a beauty? See the pretty figures
IN it?" I've noticed said her pa, n
he smothed her tresse9 with his hand
that pretty figures seemed to be at
tached to all your dresses"
EDITH-I wish were small orangs
dealer Alphonse Why should a lovely
orange blossom desire to become Z
mere plebeian trader? Edith Be
cause hear of a trust which is TO bt
formed with the avowed intention Of
squeezing the small dealersl Alphonse
constituted himself trust.
Mrs. GBBLEGABBLE-D Doctor, theirs
is something the matter with m5
tongue; it pains me badly at times, ana
l don't know what to do for it. Physi.
cian-Place a little cotton pillow undsl
it between meals; it may be tired anG
need rest. Mrs. Gibblegabble-Bnt J
couldn't talk then. Physician-T That Il
Why ! prescribe tie Low.
HE WAS 4 PIRENT .iyD KN@:V.
"You advertised tor a boy
Eyes. DO you want placer