Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1889-12-26
EDIsoN's FlENDIsH CLOCK

EDIsoN's FIENDIsH CLOCK
| The Wizards Latest Invention Is Diabol.
ical in It's Possibilities.
Thomas Edison, the phenomenal in
| ventor, has reached critical stage in
his career, and it would be strange
sarcasm of fate if his latest invention
should make him abhorrent to the
growing generation. Over in his
laboratory at Llewellyn Park is his in
vention. 1t has been tried and found
perfect, and it is photographic clock
which, instead of Ginning the hours,
calls them out at every quarter in a
voice full of clearness. It may be fitted
with any set to suit the purposes for
whichsit may be intended. To re-
porter it was exhibited yesterday.
The inventor was CHEEKY and playful
as ne always is. 1.-The clock" said he,
sis an improvement, and if it were only
in the market now it might save you re-
porters great deal of worriment. For
instance, say you are at a politicalimeet-
ing with dozen speakers carded.
They are to each have half hour. You
know what fiction that is. But now,
if you had clock like this, see how it
would work." and here Mr.. Edison
placed set within it. He pointed the
hand to the quarter of an hour and a
voice came ringing out: This speaker
is half through" At the half hour the
clock blurted out: ''The audience will
please not encore. The gentleman now
gives way to another"
THE only fear have" continued Mr..
Edison, lis that the young unmarried
folks may not relish it. You are mar
ried? No? Well, don't give this out
as a bride, but when you get entangled
IN the preliminaries come to me and
will give YOU one that yot may present
to the family into which you aspire to be
admitted. 1t will be fbber. I'm a
little in doubt about the popularity of
the parlor clock with younger people"
Mr.. Edison has good reason to fear. A
moro tantalizing ornament to pair of
ardent lovers than matrimonial parlor
photographic clock can not be imag-
ined. Fancy, for instance, Sunday
evening in cozy parloT with two hearts
beating as one startled by the voice
from the manteT: 1'Good-night, a fond
goodnight. In another hour it will be
midnight.' Then dolefuIly at quarter
past and each succeeding quarter comes
out it's hoarse croakinss, until 1855,
when it blurts out:
''In five minutes more it. will be to-
morrow" and every ten minutes sub
sequently the air is filled with it's
malldins, such as: ''Ah! how still the
hour" Mabel, I am watching thee,
ho Iat MI T tIn wi If
thy mamma upon the stairs ''Please
don't heed me: it is my misfortune that
/ must warn you that the hour is half
past twelve Ibid I hear you ask me
to get that hat2'' 'Will you kindly re-
member me in your prayers?" Look
out! l hear footstep.- LA, ha! I was
only fooling thee!" Iii soon have to
call father to go to his Office
And so the clock jabbers on most ex-
asperatingly. Of course, the words are
set to suit the circumstances. IF the
wooer be favored person of course the
language will be much different, the
tone of the clock will be sweet and
simpering, and the words coy and
captiva ting.-N. Y. Press.
The Chinese are fairly overrunning
the Sandwich Islands. They number
one-fifth of the population, and monopo-
lie many branches. Of mercantile bust
ness, while there. are six Chinese me-
chanics out of every seven of this class
on the islands, The natives feel their
performance keenly, but as. the Chi
nese are the most vigorous and pro-
gressive race, the islanders will have to
submit to the logic of events. lit seems
to be their manifest destiny give place
to stronger people. The indolent
islanders of the Pacific are no match for
the hardy and energetic Chinese.
The first white settler In the city of
st. Paul came in the year 1882 To-day
the population of the capital of Mime
sofa is 100000 The first log cabin was
erected in 1888; to-day the city boasts of
some of the finest business and residence
buildings On the American continent.
The town site was located in 1S47; the
capital in 1851. The first survey of the
city was made in 1851; the chamber OF
commerce organized in 1867. The orig
inal St. Paul proper, plated in 1s47;
contained about eighty acres. The
present area of the city contains 35, 4s2
acres.
According to the government re-
turns the wealthiest man in Berlin has
an income of only e125, 600 a year. What
is that compared to Vanderbilts capital
of twenty millions? and yet the German
property owner aforesaid passes in Ber-
lin for a Creesus. Only other persons
in Berlin have incomes exceeding $780,
900. Nine receive annually above ESQ.,
900, and 1852 above $4,000. There are
only 926 persons whose incomes amount
to 900. There is not a poorer capital
in all Europe.
"A young man of Warsaw ordered a
dress suit from a tailor, who agreed to
deliver it on certain day. The latter
failed, and hence a curious lawsuit.
The plaintiff alleged that he had ar
ranged to go to an evening party at
which he had resolved to offer his hand
to the daughter of the house. Because
of the failure of his dress coat he could
not CO. but his rival went, proposed and
was accepted, and the plaintiff consid-
cred himself damaged to the value of the
lost bride.
AS an instance of the quick way in
which some things are done nowadays,
it is told that in late divorce trial in
Maine, at the moment when the Judge
was decreeing the divorce, the clerk held
in his hand telegram from the libelee
asking to be informed as soon as her
husband obtained his divorce, as she and
another man were waiting to be married
as soon as it could legally be done.