The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-05-10
MARK TWAIN ON WARTS.


Mark Twain has written to the Net
York Sun as follows:
/ find the following suggestive delerict
wandering about the ocean Of journalism.
"I'd give a thousand dollars said a
well-to-do New Yorker the other day, .to
nave that mark removed, Z" and he held ont
a well shaped and we'll cared for hand, on
the back Of which, between the thumb and
first finger, was tattooed a big blue anchor.
"When | was a little fool at school, with
my head full of stories of adventures, my
highest ambition was to go to sea. An old
sailor WHO lived IN the village tattooed
about a dozen Of us on the sly, and I re-
member the lies ] told my mother, as kept
my hand done up in a rag, pretending /
had cut it, till the sore healed. Then sue
gave me such a thrashing as broke up my
plan, fortunately, to have a fine red and
blue heart done on the back of the other.
The Disagreement has caused me no end
Of annoyance since aud Las cost me con-
siderable money for gloves, which always
wear, winter and summer, though 1
detest them in warm weather. But a
man can't wear gloves at the table, and
often at restaurants ] catch people staring
at my hand and l wonder if they think ]
have served my term in the fo'castle of
some oyster seow or lumber schooner"
A tattoo mark is easily removed. May
| drop into personal history? When | was
a small boy | had my share Of warts. /
tried in tnrn the three hundred and sixty
eight ways of removing them, but without
results; indeed, | seemed to get wartier and
wartier right along. But at last somebody
revealed to me The three hundred and sixty
ninth way. ard ! tried it. Thus: / drove
a needle down into the basement Of the
wart: then held the other end of the needle
in the flame Of a candle some little time;
the needle became red hot throughout its
length, and proceeded to cook the wart.
Presently l drew the needle out; if it bad
white atoms like nits sticking about its
point, that wart was done; If the point was
clear, [ drove it in again and cooked till |
got those white things. They were the
roots Of The wart. Twenty-four hours
later lilo wart would become soft and
flabby, and | removed it with a single wipe
of my hand. Where it had been was a
smooth surface now, which quickly healed
and left no scar. Within two days I was
wartless and have so remained unto this
day.
Well. a long time afterward. when | was
&c years old, a sailor tattooed an anchor
and rope on the back OF my left hand with
India ink. The color was a deep, dark
blue and extrayagantly conspicuous. |
was proud of it for awhile, but By the time
I had worn it nine years l was tired OF it
and ashamed Of it. l could find nobody
who could tell me how to get rid of it; but
at last my wart experience Of near half a
generation before occurred to me, and /
got me several needles and a candle straight
way. l drove the needles along just under
the surface of the skin and tolerably close
together, and made them include the tat
too mark; then | fired mp on them and
CDohtA tAtAt ACNfES biJioSSsit
day | wiped the device of with my hand.
The place quickly healed, and left no scar.
A faint blush tinge remained. and was
minded 70 begin again and cook that out;
but as it was hardly detachable, and not
noticeable, If did not seem worth the fuel,
and so Ieftir there. and there it is yet,
though | suppose l am The only member Of
my tribe that knows it.
was in London a good many years ago,
when the Tichborne claimants case was
being tried, and a batch Of learned experts
testified that an India lux tattoo mark
could not be removed; but | was not asked
to testify, aud so those people don't know
any better to this day. Let the 'swell to
do New Yorker fetch nae some needles
and a candle and name his bet. Iwilltake
him up