Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1889-11-02
suRoer1e's PHILOSOPHY.
rur wonKINos or nm IyrAvT uIun

THE WORKINGS or THE INFANT MIND
Thomas jefferson. when about years old,
was playing with his blocks one day, when
the sound o. an infant sister came drifting
In from tho distant nursery "It seems 10
me, remarked the infant statesman, pausing
in his childish labor, 'or, rather IL strikes
me, that Anna Maria has taken her base on
bawIs~ But interposss the hypercritical
reader, Thomas jefferson had no sister
Anna Maria and baseball and its slang were
unknown IN his time Yes, all that know;
but agree with Mr.. Howells that la a novel
dealing with modern life "a plot Of close
texture is not only unnecessary, but Is am
anachronism.r But you say, ''tha in.
fancy Of Thomas jefferson rs not feature OF
modern life" no, goosey, but baseball Is
Go; get thee to a kindergarten, and learn
tho simple canons Of criticism.
THIS KIND mas SOME TRUTH IN IT
what have YOU thereF' demanded the ed
itor, with smoldering fire In his eve. ian ar
ticls on the late war;" mo, indeed, replied
the distinguished contributor. for II was be,
"it Is an article ON the next war; II will
gladly accept IT," replied the editor, 'be
cause that Is something which you probably
know something about, and the people win
be glad 20 get hold Of bottom facts which
cannot be denied or disproved by all the rest
Of the participants Here il a check for s500
a page; count tho pages, add up the check,
and get the cash on IL yourself Nay, do not
thank me- Adding Ia a strained, hoarss
voice, as the distinguished contributor goes
down tbs winding stair, 'You will not. when
you 40 10 cash the check"
THAT KKEPs HIM QUIET
A correspondent wants some hints on how
to train dog. Well, about as good way as
any il 10 train him as you do morning glory
vine-with tight cord TO high hook He
win never bark II you train him this way.
| o, yes, and Essu you bury him deep enough
% that drought will not affect him Then he
can't help being good dog. Dog gone good
| MOUTH AND THE MAN I sIso
I love the man who knows IL ALL
| From east To west, from north 10 south:
whoknows all things, both great and small
And tells IL with his tireless mouth;
Who holds listening world In awe
The while he works his iron Jaw
Outlines In evenings holy calm
When twilight softens sight and sound,
And zephyr breathea peaceful psalm,
This fellow brings his mouth around.
With It's hong gailop that tire
The eight day clock = impatient ire
His good strong mouth He wields &c weni
He works Il Just for all it's worth
1
Such mighty deeds npon tho earth
He pulls the throttle open wide.
| And works her hard on either sida
Up hill and down, through swamp and sand,
IL never stona. IL never balks;
Through air and sky, DER and land,
He talks. and talks and talks. and salka
And talks. and talks and talks, and talks.
And talks. and talks. and talks. and talks.
Good Lord, from evils fierce and dire,
Save us each day--from fear and woe;
From wreck ard food from storm and fra
From sudden death, from secret foe;
From blighting rain and burning drouth-
And from tho man who plays his mouth.
brooklyn Eagls
SUGGESTIONS ny A LUNATIc.
forlorn imbecile, who had been expelle.
from the asylum for frivolity, came in b
suggest that ON Arbor day the planting o
trees be observed with some regard to wha
the poor creature called, with hoarse chest
nut chuckle, the external fitness OF things
For instance, he said, we should plant befor
the saloons the hic o. rye, at the kitchen door
young ashes; In the geological garden, tn
fur; at the home OF the married man. tn
yoke; In the school yards, the yellem, am
In At this, point, however, a bolt Of ven
geance as large as a boot fell upon the offende
like a peal Of banana from ciouiless skS sn'
carried him away as with a thud. Not tn
dull, sickening kind, but one Of the LON
drawn, such as usually heard In the dead 0
night, when wearicd people yawn and tn
patient evening caller waits 10 hear the eve
welcome breakfast bell
RIGHT IN THE SWIM.
''Do you call on the Trippleplates Mr.
Commonerf' mo; that Is. ! have neve
called. hear my husband say that he call
there quite frequently, two or three times
week. "why, don't "You see, he
out Of employment just now, aud is collectin
hard bills for Grub Il Grocer "ohin I'VE.
OH