The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1889-08-29
Funny Mems Fancies,

ner tor life, has he?" ''No, not-not
exactly for life. He married a Chic
ago girl.-Time.
Minnie-Itis no longer fashionable
to have the ears pierced. Minnie
So suppose you won't be called
upon any more to sing, will
you, dear2-Terre Haute Express.
Accepted Suitor-"Won't you find
it awkward when you meet your
other two husbands in heaven?"
Interesting Widow-"I do lot ex-
pect to meet either of them there"
Life.
First Omahan-"One must look
out for hpdrophobia this hot wealth
er. Do you know how to tell a mad
dog?" Second Omahan-"It | had
anything to tell q mad dog | should
do it by telephone. "-Omaha World.
A foolish fellow was haunting a
neigbor on the length of his ears.
"It's true" replied the latter, chat
my ears are rather long for man;
but how uncommon short yours
are for donkey!"
Flossie latter the feast of the mel
ons)-"Mamma," she said, pressing
her hands YEARLY upon herstomach,
"my sash is just like window-sash,
isn't it?'' "In what way, dear?" ask
ed the mother, smilingly. because
it's around the palms." she replied,
demurely.-Binghamton Republican.
Doctor-'I see just what's the
matter with you. You need some
thing strengthening. Eat plate OF
oatmeal boiled, every morning for
breakfast" Patient-'I do doctor. J"
Doctor(equal to the occasion)-
Then leave it off"
My little daughter caused quite a
laugh the other day. Her grandpa
was Joking her about sending her
away, when she unexpectedly said:
"Grandpa, what will ma and pa do
for some one to eat what is left at
meals if you send me away?'
Mean Contractor Ito workman
who fell from three-story wall that
he was tearing down)-"pll have to
dock you for lost time" Workman
(unhurt) -'T thought I was saving
time coming down that way. Next
time I'll take the ladder. IN. Y.
Sun.
Mrs. Prooftext (who remained at
home, sick Did you take up col
lection this morning, my dear? Rev.
Mr.. Prooftext-"That's q theologic-
al point which puzzles me, my love
whether a collection where you don t
get anything can properly be called
a collection"
Young Coachman Ito keeper of liv-
cry stable)-I'd like to get kicked by
a mule if you've got one. Stable
keeper-What for? "I'm going to
ask the boss if | can marry his
daughter, and | want to see if | am
in condition to receive his reply.
Chow is your friend Schmidt
the milkman, coming on? DIE
has gone to a watering place to re-
cuperate his health. That's what |
call gall. He is indebted to the wat
er for all his wealth, and now he re-
lies on the water to restore his health.
Texas Siftings.
An exchange remarks that "moth-
ers have trained our Presidents and
statesmen. True. They were fortu-
nate in having mothers. The only
man who ever made a success in life
without the training influence of the
mother was Adam, and he felt the
need of one before his career closed.
A Poets Dream.-Miss Gushley-
II so often see some one spoken ofas
being beautiful as poets dream.
Do you poets have more beautiful
dreams than we common mortals?''
Mr.. A. Tennyson Fizzle-"1 hardly
know. generally dream of porter
house steaks, fried chickens and that
sort of thing"
The quaint sayings of children are
always more or less refreshing. A
little girl who accompanied by her
mother into town one day was very
much interested in the speed with
which she was travelling toward the
city, and on leaving the train at the
station and passing by the great
putting locomotive the little one
| turned to the mother and said: "See