The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1889-05-31
THE POETIC FEVER.
1t Attacks a Young Wife Who Forth with
Prepares a Surprise for Hubby.

| 1t Attacks a Young Wife Who Forth with
Prepares a Surprise for Hubby.
81 had not intended to tell you
Billiger," said the young wife Of Mr.
McSwat. ''but l can't keep it secret
any longer"
''1s it possible Lobelia," exclaimed
Billiger, incredulously, ''that you have
been able to keep secret at alp"
ut is. And you would never guess
it. either"
''Been making me dressing-gowr
or an embroidered night-cap?"
"No."
''You haven't been running up bill
at Spotcash & Co.'sp" he inquired.
with a suspicious look and cold feel.
ing in the region of his spine.
'Guess again"
"Been taking lessons at cooking
SCHOOL," he asked, paling visibly.
mo. Guess again"
A clammy perspiration broke out all
over him and he leaned against the
mantel for support as he gasped:
''Lobelia, is Aunt Jubilee coming to
spend the summer with us?'
The young wife laughed gleefully.
mo-" she answered. you'll have
to try again, Billiger."
"Tell me what it is" he said, with
returning self-command. II feel as il
I could stand any disclosure now"
II think you're real mean. Billiger,
but I'll tell you. A little poem of mine
is going to be published in the next
Century Magazine"
"Whew!"
(This is the time-honored way in
which a long, low whistle of astonish-
ment has always been represented in
print by the most successful wrestlers
with the language, from the Old Mas
ters down to H. Rider Haggard. The
reader, therefore, will kindly under
stand that Mr.. Billiger McSwat gave
utterance to long, low whistle.)
Sin the days CT our courtship, Lo-
Bella" he continued, staring hard al
the ceiling, ''you never told me you
wrote poetry. I didn't know you were
addicted to it, Or"
"Or what?" she demanded, with some
asperity.
''Nothing- nothing!' he exclaimed,
hastily. "And so you are to have a
contribution in the next Century! How
much is the editor to pay you for it,
Lobelia?"
81 don't know. haven't heard from
him yet"
"Then how do you know he is going
to print it?"
"How do know? Because he hasn't
returned it. I sent it to him nearly two
weeks ago."
20. You did! You inclosed stamps
for return postage, of course?"
"Why, no, Billiger. I never thought
of that. Is it customary"
"Er-no! That is, not always" re.
piled the young husband, mastering
his emotion by desperate effort. '.I1
probably wasn't necessary in the case
of your poem, Lobelia. And you have
saved at least two centsr'
Mrs. McSwat was not exactly sure
whether he was in earnest or not. She
looked at him with some suspicion, but
his cOuntenance wore that look of un.
earthly gravity and innocence that
may sometimes be seen on the face of a
boy at school just after he had rolled a
double handful of bird-shot over the
floor.
"Lobelia," he said, after a pause,
"you haven't spoken of this-this poem
of yours that is-er-ah-going to be
printed next month to any body else
besides me, have your"
emo"
"Then don't do it, Lobelia," he said.
'1f you can manage to hold in till the
poem is printed, which" Billiger
held his handkerchief to his face and
coughed convulsively in it for few
moments (which will be only two
weeks longer, you know it will be all
the greater surprise to every body.
And when that poem is printed in the
magazine, my dear, I'll make you q
present of pair of diamond ear rings
The trusting young wife pillowed her
head on his bosom in an ecstasy oil
gratitude, and as Billiger McSwat
smoothed her golden hair and muir.
INJURED in her ear soft assurances of his
willingness to bankrupt himself if nee
essary, in order to give her costly
presents as token of his pride and
admiration-as soon as the poem ap-
peared-he could feel himself growing
meaner. and smaller and more despic.
able every moment.
Oyoung wives! Be warned in time.
When temptations to write poetry for
the magazines assail your souls do not
| yield. Resist them. It is q terrible
thing to do any thing that causes young
husbands to feel themselves growing
smaller than they are already. -Ex.
tract from "Frightful Warnings of His
tory" from the French of Dennis
Mulcahy, in Chicago Tribune.
| "A doctor told a woman who was
suffering from sore throat that she
should prepare drink composed Of
honey and vinegar, in the proportion
of two parts of honey to one of vine.