davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16

| lights to show off his skill ia gymnas-
tics. One is baby's face smeared
with molasses, and the other is man s
bald head. But how differently are
his efforts appreciated. The baby
winks and blinks and tries to point out
where the best morsels are by placing
his chubby fingers thereon. The fly
enjoys the angel food and also winks
and blinks reciprocal.
But when the fly makes skittle
ground OF the bald mans pate, then
human suffering reaches its climax.
No thought OF the awful fate of the
forty-two children that Knocked the
Hebrew prophet ever deters the
wicked fly in his assaults on the
repose of revered age. With buzz
zings, alightings and -you-please
walk arounds, he aggravates his victim
till all the nerves from occiput to SIM
ciput cry out in agony at the torture
inflicted with delicate tact that aims
to wound without brutality, but not to
kill. and yet is powerful enough to
kill without wounding visibly. In
such a ease the man who hesitates is
lost. He must at once ''shoo ny'' and
cover his unprotected poll or become
soon subject for the coroner.
In the domestic life Of flies sleeping
occupies considerable portion. They
do not rcpose ON beds nor on floors.
But when night settles down on sea
and land, and all the feathered song
sters have sought repose, then the lies
simultaneously turn bottom up and
clasp the ceiling, with nothing but
their modesty for a covering. and
grip to the plastering that never fails
through the silent Waterbury watches
Of earths darkest hours. Like fowls
going to roost, there is always an hour
or two OF preliminary changing and
siirmishing for the best places. But
when once at rest they are fixtures till
the king of day calls them from repose
TO labor.
Each one ere he leaves his airy couch
makes a mark where he slept as n sign
that he pre-cmpts that spot for the en-
suing night. This ha, TO be done, as
the bads are not numbered. and it is
the only way to avoid con fusion.
Texas Siftings
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16
Not so Bad as All That.

1t is well known that fishermen after
getting a fare at the Georges make
haste to get to Boston, as the earliest
arrivals get the best prices. A wor-
thy captain who sails out OF Boston.
having been fortunate enough to Sc
cure an unusually large quanty of fish,
crowded on all sail and started for
home \ severe storm arose, during
which three men were washed over
board and lost. One of them was a
native OF Portugal. The loss was a
severe blow to the captain, who had
been congratulating himself upon re-
ceiving the concentrations Of the own
ers OF the vessel for the very large fare
he had secured. The news of the loss
of men preceded the vessels arrival.
and the owners were aware of it, and
looked down with very grave faces up
on the captain as he sheered alongside
the warf
We've got the biggest fare that $
come to this warl, you bet, said the
captain.
What good is that" said one OF the
owners, when you have lost three
men?"
WHO says that?" asked the captain.
why, the tugboat brought in the
news"
That we'd lost three men?"
Yes"
"Well it amt so bad as that. Only
two men and Il Portugee. Boston
Courier.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16
Certain Dangers.

No one with a clear conscience and
an unwarped mind has any other de-
sire than that the murderers of DR..
Cronin shall be brought TO Justice.
The plot was carefully planned and
but for the failure TO carry it out in
detail, as agreed, would have been SO
entirely successful that the body would
never have been found and doubt
would have been cast upon the mem
DRY of Cronin. The ramifications of the
plot are widespread and the difficulty
OF tracing all of them is gre It. The
law is so imperative in requiring pre-
sumption OF the innocence Of every
accused person that conviction, unless
upon positive and direct proof, is a
difficult undert king. A grave res
possibility devolves upon the prosecu-
ting officers OF the state, and il they
are 10 succeed they must not be en-
barrassed. The craft of interested OPP
position will be eXerted against them,
! but they ought not to be hampered in
! tho house OF their friends. The super.
serviceable zeal of well-meaning per-
sons is TO be dreaded as posi-
| tive impeachment Declamatory prach-
ers, grasping at any passing
topic and turning the Cronin tragedy
10 account, are really tanning race
and religious prejudices, dangerous
factors at any turn. The clamor Of
a German paper for Irish blood is IL
| effect an invitation 10 arouse the re.
sistance OF frishmen TO the punishment
OF persons Of their race thus pilloried.
! The plan OF an Irish faction TO raise
funds for the prosecution Of another
Irish faction is mischievous sugges
ton. the county being abundantly ricf
to defray all necessary expense. Til,
jealousy OF ''scoopedn newspapers in
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16
MADE HIM LOOK SMALL.
How a Chicago Butcher Came to
Shrink.

One morning Opie j. Read OF the
Arlansaw Traveller came into the
Chicago Press Club rooms, where n
number of the members were seated
chatting. Opie did not take part in
the conversation.
something on your mind. OpieP'
asked one OF the boys.
Eyes. My butcher is on my mind.
and he's the biggest butcher you ever
saw. I'm Il pretty big man myself,
but. sir, rs | came by that butcher shop
this morning the butcher was standing
out in front, and | walked right be-
tween his legs. The top of my head
wasn't as high as his instep. | should
have had TO reach TO unlatch his
shoe"
GLOW much do you owe your BUTCH
err, OpiePh asked James w. Scott, the
president of the club and business
manager of the Herald.
"A hundred and twenty dollars,
sir said Read
That afternoon Mr.. Scott sent n
check for $3.50 to Opie, saying it was
an advance on story he wished him
to write for the Herald
The next morning when Opie strobe
into the club, somebody asked:
Has your butcher grown any since
Yesterday"
"Grown No, sir. This morning
walked into his place with $50 in
gold clinking and jingling in my
pocket.
Where's that butcher?' | asked
=" Here | am said a faint. timid
little voice that seemed TO come up
from the cellar.
Where? SAID l.
" Here, right by your left foot.
Don't move or you'll step on me.
Il got down on my hands and
knees and examined speck on the
floor. 1t was the butcher. w ASH
ington Post.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16
A Bic Sun Spot.

A huge sun spot, compared in mag
nitude with some OF the great spots
seen five or six years ago, is now WISH
BILE on the solar disk, says the New
York Sun. a good eye should be able
TO see it with tho aid OF smoked
glass. 1t is fully three diameters Il
the earth across, and somewhat irreg-
ular in outline. Along the edges of
the dark central chasm the familiar
tongue-shaped projections OF the pho
tospheric flame can be seen. The
whole aspect OF the spot is such as to
remind the observer that the mystcr-
ious commotion which affects the sur
face OF the solar globe, reaching n
maximum once in every eleven years,
is about to manifest itself again after
several years OF comparative repose.
1t will be interesting TO notice how
much information we shall he able to
gather during the coming sun-spot
period upon the vexed question Of the
connection between sun-spots and the
weather. The theory that there is a
most intimate relation OF that kind has
received enthusiastic support in some
quarters since the Sun called general
attention, nine or ten years ago, to the
grounds upon which il was based. But
the highest authorities in astronomy
and meteorology have not yet accepted
the hypothesis as proved, except so far
as the undoubted connection between
solar disturbances and terrestrial mag
net,sm is concerned.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16
Head of That Family.

An uptown landlord last week leased
the principal story and basement OF one
of his houses on Broadway 70 man
with whom he was we'll acquainted.
The next day after the family moved in
he received summons to call at the
house forthwith. He did so. and was
met by his tenants wife, who pointed
out various things she wanted done,
and she imperiously insisted on having
them done at once. The landlord de-
INJURED. Madam said he, when
let this house let it TO the head OF
the family, and can only deal with
him." "Ieal OF mily,n echoed the
woman scornfully. We'll, il there Is
any other head OF this family besides
myself / would like 70 know IL. / am
the head, and IL is who esire these
changes rnade. Albany Journal.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16
An Essay on the Ely.

II is difficult to treat fairly such a
difrusive subject, especially in fly time.
But as the least said is soonest printed.
| will hover over a few leading traits
and skip the remainder
The fly, whether considered in the
singular or plural number, is "A noun
OF multitude. If one alights on nose
or chin he makes as much disturbance
as II dozen; aud, unless one sees either
him or them alight one cannot tell
whether he or they are more or less.
But one fly alone can chase thousand
pleasant fancies away to the realms of
aowhere, and two can put ten thousand
anathemas spinning in the brain of the
average summer tourist.
There are two places where fly de-
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16

ducing them to discredit and II posi-
BILE destroy valuable evidence for the
prosecution obtained by an enterpris-
ing journal is another bad manifesto
ton.
To aid, not to embarrass the prose-
cutting attorney, the police department
and all agencies for the promotion OF
justice is present necessity. A we'll
instructed, calm. resolute public opin-
ion will be OF great use, whereas an
infiamed frothy, mounting public
opinion, however earnest. becomes inn
potent for anything but mischief
Chicago Times.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16
AL,ng.FeIt Want Supplied.

Miss Antique (ancient maiden with
modern ideas) We had such n glori-
Gus meeting this afternoon, to organ
ize the Anti-Male Social Club. In re-
Spouse TO my call over fifty beautiful
and charming young ladies presented
themselves. and all were enthusiastic
over my plan TO escape from the
thralldrom OF man. The first onter-
tainment is TO be given next Monday
night, and not man is to be allowed
TO enter. / am to deliver an address.
Miss Highnote is TO sing, the Misses
Ivory are to play, Miss Lotter is to
give recitations. the members OF the
art club are to bring specimens Of their
work, and wo are to have perfectly
delightful time, Can't you Gomez
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16
he English Girl.

Two points OF advantage the Eng
lish girl possesses over the American
girl, observes traveller in the Boston
Herald, and these are precisely the
qualities that particularly appeal to
men; she is more romantic and more
submissive. While as full OF seuti-
ment rs the ideal love letters tied
with blue ribbon, she still regards
man as her lord and master. She
rarely dreams Of disputing the SUI
premacy OF husband, father, or
even brother, and her privilege and
pleasure is TO minister unto them.
She is so affectionate in her home
circle that the average man has only
20 be admitted there to 5traightway
fall heal over heels in love with q
girl who worships her brother, is for
ever kissing her fond father, and dis
putes with her sisters the honor and
the delight Of warming the paternal
slippers. Even when OF thigh station"
she takes her turn in making the tea
and preparing the toast and superin-
tending the breakfast generally-a
task which mamma relegates TO her
daughters. The English girl breathes
this engaging air Of domesticity. Man
doesn't say, How she can waltz; how
we'll she looks at the opera; how she
surpasses all OF the other girls in the
cotillon!" No matter TO what advan-
tage she may appear in evening dress
under the soft radiance OF the wax can
dies. what the most inveterate bache-
Tor whispers TO himself IS this: "By
George! what wife she would make!
And yhat n homen
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16
Fishing i'm Georgia.

They have new way of catching
fish down in Georgia. From four to
six men go into the water with log
in front of them and sheet with one
edge on the log and the other edge
held up by the men so that the fish
cant jump over, but fall in the sheet.
The log is pushed along to the land.
and when near IL the fish begin
TO try to make their escape back to
the deep water by jumping. II they
TAIL to make a good leap they lodge on
the cloth, thereby becoming victims
OF their own destruction.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16
Settling a Question of putv.

Pastor-'I have call to Boston AZ
u much better salary than | am get
ting here. What shall / doP-
Deacon-"You must be influenced
by the ungodliness OF the place."
Pastor-"But that would comnel
me to stay here in Chicago. Detroit
Free Press.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16

The Emperor OF China, who is a
young man and progressive, is very
anxious 10 take trip to this country.
He is in constant communication with
the Chinese minister at Washington
on the subject, and manifests consider
able Impotence at the latter's advice
to postpone the trip for a few years.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16

Execution by electricity is advocat-
ed on the ground that it will afford
condemned criminals the most speedy
exit; but they stubbornly oppose tho
humane plan, and, in fact. don't seem
TO be in the least hurry to get out OF
the world.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16

The efforts now being made TO So
cure a pardon for +. L. Harper, the
notorious bank robber OF Cincinnati.
are not likely to succeed. Executive
clemency has been invoked, but Presi-
dent Harrison will, in all probability,
follow the recommendation OF the at
torney- general, who is understood 30
be averse to allowing the bank robber
to escape his Just deserts. The bank
wreckers friends say that he is very
sorry he robbed the bank, but it's safe
to say he isn't half as sorry for it rs
are some OF the depositors whose little
all helped TO pay for his luxurious
habits OF living.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16

The Sioux commission is greatly
indebted to the Catholic missionarie ;
for its success in winning over the In
dians TO signing the bin for the open
ing OF the reservation. There are
several Catholic societies AT the var
ious agencies composed almost wholly
of young Indians. 1t is no secret that
the priests were desirious OF having
the Indians accept the treaty, and
their influence was effective in induc-
ing hundreds OF the Indians in swing
ing into line. With the chiefs, how
ever, who held out to the last, the
counsel OF the commissioners fell on
stony ground, until the the Catholic
missionaries succeeded in convincing
them that the promises of the govern
ment would be faithful lily kept
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16

George A. Fish committed suicide at
New Britain, Conn. a few days ago,
and left statement as to why he
shuifled off the coil. He had for over
year been fighting an almost uncon-
trollable desire to kin someone, and,
realizing that he was losing his will
power, he preferred TO put himself out
OF the way than 10 bring disgrace up
on his family by committing a crime
and then dying upon the scaffold.
Suicide is not often 10 be defended,
out this method may safely be COM
mended to those people, who in mo-
ments OF emotional insanity" desire
to kill somebody. Let them try the
game upon themselves and save to the
community the trouble of reading
about and, better yet. the expense of
proving that there is more devil than
fool about them.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-08-16

the wife of VIM. +. Gladstone, the
.'grand old man." is the daughter OF
the late Sir stephen Glynn, and from
him inherited Hawarden Castle, the
family-seat OF the Gladstone's. The
old castle, of which but the ruins re-
main, dates back to the remotest an
tiquity but the new castle was built
in 1852, and it is this part, with the
additions made thereto. that is occu-
pied at present. Like her husband,
Mrs. Gladstone is wonderfully robust
for her years, and her hair contains
but few grey strands, while her face is
almost free from wrinkles. Like many
English women of the last generation,
Mrs. Gladstone never knew how TO
make herself attractive so far as dress
goes, and ii has been said that she is
the worst dressed woman in the United
Kingdom. Her features, although
they betoken the true wife and atfec-
tiouate mother, are somewhat coarse.
Mrs. Gladstone is president of the
Women's Liberal Federation, an asso-
citation which works along the same
lines as the Primrose League, only, OF
course, in favor of liberalism and
home-rule. Mrs. Gladstone, who
takes great interest in her husband 5
political work, has many time made
nice little speeches in the liberal cause.
esnncially In tho nnst end of Lnndnn
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-07-19

The report that an English syndicate has
been making an offer for Independence Hall
in Philad<Iphia probably needs confirmation
-Sew FORK Tyibxse-
Mr. Ruskia vas once asked il is would not
b. yell for the Welsh language to die out
ard h. replaced by the Ensiish- God for
bid he replied ..The Welsh Language il
the language Of music There is no genias
about the English language. The Seoieh
have got ali the poetry. and the Irish all the
wit; and how the devil we got Shakspeare.
DO not know"
Little Boy-..ssy, ma says you are going
10 take user on
Engzxed Youth f,oon 20 be married -
Yes, ~ . few weeks she's going TO my
home and my ma and % vill be her ma and
pa. Seer"
II zee. Then she'll be your sister, same
a. she vas mine. Say. don't ysu do any
thing she doesn't like. for If you do she'll
bang you around awful vien your ma and
pa amt looking
Secretary Blaine will never resign nor be
taken III, even TO ooiige the anxious Mug
wamps ~ho insist that he shail DO both
Mr. Biaine's uaAecommoizting treatment Of
these forIorn creatures il positively heart
isss -- Ihstadeiphsa Press.
Please. ma am. will you give me an old
snit Of your husbands clothes:
Poor mani OF course | VIII Tome
rishr IN. SO you we're 10 that dreadful
food, were your"
mo. ms'am. bat my wife sent all my
clothes 70 the people who we're Hash,n9-
ton Toa.
They occupied the same seat in railway
ear. He wore no mourning. bat looked pro-
foandly melancholy. Have You had be-
reayement in your family" she yen'nred to
ask No" he replied. looking sadder than
before What is your trouble thea 'he
continued, growing boider. Il Am profess
.ionaI funny man, he groAnsd. "Ah! she
said. with deep sympathy. II understand
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-07-19


One Of the most ingenious attempts a. =
verbal understanding is that recorded by the
author OF The Falcon on the Baltic" an in
teresting account Of yachting experiences:
We arrived at the town of Hoorn. and
there, while a crowd gathered on the quay,
an old woman addressed US She became
quite angry when she found that we could
not understand her, and she began to scream
at the top Of her voice, heedless Of the fact
that we were not deaf. but merely ignorant
Of her language
Having failed utterly to explain herself,
she suddenly ceased her clamor. and bsckoned
me with her bony hand to follow her Her
air Of authority was such that dared not re-
fuse crawled on to the quay, and did her
bidding with a sinking heart. She led me
through the street in silence till we reached
mail house The door stood open. Again
she beckoned | hesitated Then she seized
me by the hand and dragged me in.
crowd Of inquisitive boys had followed
us She slammed the door In their faces,
and was left alone with this mysterious
woman
Her next proceeding was to unlock the
drawer Of fine, old, carved bureau, which
coveted even in that moment OF trepsiation
From this she took small book, which,
without saying a word, she placed in my
hand opened it at the title page and loi
proved TO be q French Dutch dictionary
Iconsultei the pages. and pointed out to her
the Dutch equivalent for the words. What
do you want With mef'
She orenet the book in her turn, and fol-
lowing Der finger With my eyes read in
succession the two words. HUT sousr
light broke on my duh intelligence.
hastily turned over the dictionary again. and
showed her the uncouth Dutch word which
stood for 'harbor master.r
"Jai jar she cried. laughing, and slappinx
me on the back
We underStood each other at last. This
vas the harbor mistress, and when had
paid her the fourpence she allowed me TO de-
mart
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-07-19
Matters In Maine.

1t is said that Fairfield 10 likely to have a
first class clothing establishment started
there in the near future.
The seth annual exhibition of the North
Aroostook Agricultural and Horticultural
Society is to be held at Fort Fairfield on
Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday ,Sep,em-
Der 81, 4,h and 9TH.
One of Fsrfeld's horse car conductors re-
Gently took seventy-six fares between the
Emwood Hotel in wstervlle and the Fair.
field depot. changing one FIVE and one two
dollar bill. finishing before reaching the
lower crossing.
The Maine Central is giving many of the
stations on its several branches new names.
Fer instance. on the Pennington Bath route
West Pennington is designated in q lately
issued time table as "westvilIe." East Will
lands" North Leeds, "Littieboro; Leeds
Centre. ''Centrsltown." and Lisbon Fails.
Little River"
Bangor has physician who looks so yrz-
zled and benevolent that little girl whom
he took in to ride the other day turned to
him on getting out of the carriage and said ::
Now don't forget to bring me a cunning
little doll Christmas why should bring
you doilg" vas the surprised reply. "Oh.
| know you; you're Santa Claus, said the
child as she went up the steps with her face
~reathed in smiles.
DixAeld, one of the prettiest and most en-
terprising villages in Maine. will room be
lighted by electricity. Albion P. Marsh.
Esq and Frank Stanley are among the
movers in this enterprise. The fixtures are
in place, the poles are set and the wire is
now going up. In = fortnight or less the
electric current will be turned on and the
event 10 to be celebrated by an all day cele-
bration.