Wichita eagle., 1889-01-10
MR.. RoWssR's THEORIES.
Mis-. Bowser Gives an Account Of His E
per;ments.


death get ahead Of US as family, if any effort
Of his can prevent, and be is always doing the
right thing in the nick of time. One day be
came home an hour ahead of time, his coun-
tanance wearing a very important look, and
the first thing he did was 20 bolt up stairs to
! our bedroom and lower the window, although
| had just closed it after airing the room for
! two hours He then came gathering down to
ask me for pan.
What on earth do You want Of panT'
| asked.
ITO save al our lives" he answered.
"How"
"Your bedroom is full of poisonous gases,
which must be absorbed by an open vessel OF
water"
''Nonsensel"
81 expected it That's the weapon Of the
! ignorantI Mrs. Bowser, if you want to die
! by poisonous gases poisoning the blood, !
! have nothing to say; but | shall save the life
! of our child, if possible. / have felt a strange
| lassitude for several days, and sanitary
| plumber tells me that we have poisonous air
! IN the room"
Your lassitude couldn't have come from
being out to club and lodge four successive
nights until u O'Clock, could itsn
He seized the pan ard hurried up stairs,
and when he had filed it at the lavatory lie
sat it in tho middle of the floor, and came
down, with @ relieved look On his face. 10
say:
''See if you don't feel better tomorrow
than you have for a month. It's wonder
we are not al dead"
Ibid the ancients know about these poison
GUS gasess' l asked
mot thing. They never gave them a
thought"
And yet the average OF health was II per
cent. above that of today, and the average of
mortality that much lowerl How do YOU
account for its'
''Oh, well, if you want to die go ahead
I'll even buy rope and help you to hang
yourself. l expected this, of course, but ridi-
cu1e never moves me, Mrs. Bowser-never.n
Two hours later he went up stairs in his
slippers to look for paper in another coat,
and, OF course, he sat his foot plump down in
that pan OF water. There was yell and a
jump, and over went the pan, and when got
up there he stood holding up one leg, as you
have seen a hen do on wet Gay. What
said on that occasion kept Mr.. Bowser very
quiet for whole week Then he began to
grow restless again, and one night he brought
home a suspicious looking package and
sneaked it up stairs. After supper he sud
denly disappeared, and when l locked for
him upstairs he had something in basin and
was about to hold it over gas burner
''Mr. Bowser, have you got new theory"
asked
Look here, Mrs. Bowser," he replied, as
he put down the basin, you have heard Of
bacteria, presume"
Eyes, sir"
''They are the germs Of disease floating
about. They are alive. II inhaled, cholera,
yellow fever and other dread diseases are the
result. Fumigation kills them"
And you are going to fumigate this
rooml"
81 am. am going to kill of the dreaded
bacteria"
"Wen, you'll drive us out Of the house or
kill U.s."
Invent down stairs and he burned COM
pound of tar and sulphur In ten minutes
we had to open doors end windows, and the
cook came running in to ask:
is il cremation Mr. Bowsar is trying On
us?o
II am simply driving cut bacteria" he re-
Piled coming down the stairs at that mo-
nlent.
''And there's bacteria in the houseg'
I'm afraid So"
"And I've worked here four weeks under
the noses Of the dreadful creatTes2 Mr.
Bowser, quitsl quits nowl'
And quit she did We had to sleep on the
sitting room floor last night, and three weeks
later every caller could detect that CdOr 1t
YVES hardly gone, however, when Mr.. Bowser
began to sIIR around again.
ANY more bacteriaT' asked
''Mrs. BowSer, if you want to sit here and
die | have no objections, but don't propose
to neglect common sense precautions to pre-
serve my own health"
SIS anything wrong now!"
81 think SO. | think | can detect an odor
Of sewer gas in tho house"
Impossiblel | shaat have no more stuff
burned until know it is necessary"
Wont yous Il there is sewer gas hero it
must be eradicated at once"
For the next week the entire house smeIled
of chloride of lime until one could hardly
draw long breath, but Mr. Bowser was not
satisfied
Il have been thinking" he said to me ore
evening, that | may bring the germs of
some terrible disease home in my clothes.
ride on the car, you know, and 1 ought to
take precautions"
"HowT
Garry a disinfectant about me to repel the
germs"
''It might be q good idea"
'Now you are talking sense. Now you
seem TO understand the peril which has mea-
eced Us"
He got something down town the next day
l think some Of his friends put upa job on
him, knowing his craze. 1t was q compound
which left hin alone on the street car before
he bad ridden three blocks, and he had no
sooner got into the house than we had 10 re-
tire to the back doors. The cook got a sniff
Of IL, and down went the dinner and up went
her hands, and she shouted ct Mr Bowser:
"a rlan as VIII keep skunk under his house
would beat me ont Of my wages, and I'll be
goin this minutel'
It took soap and water and perfu1nery and
half DAYS time to remove the dor. ard
when l declared that il was the last straw
Dir. Bowser crossed his hands under his coat
tails and replied:
Mrs Bowser, believe this house to be
clear OF bacteria, owing to ny prudence and
self sacrifice, and want to keep it son
II suppose got EN- heTeF'
Without doubt, madam"
"And ali this ruIupIs has been on ny ac-
countf'
Exactly. But don't 80 too far with me
Enough is enough You must stop right .
where you are. / have hu-nored yoa al .
proposs 70 lr-Detrcit Free Press
Convincing Portrait.
III Harry Furuiss. the wei known carl
caturist on the staff OF Punch. tells the fol-
lc-;r,c- rneac,t.a hich r.a-.ve--lr iIirrs--.t.s