The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-02-07
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Pears is the purest and best soap made
Beeeham's Pills cure b lious and ner-
vous ills.
The reason some men can't make
both ends meet is because they are too
busily engaged in making one end drink. |
It'd Bits.
Your father is entirely bald, isn't
he ?" said man to a son of million
aire. Yes replied the youth, Pm
the only heir he has left,n
Dancing is poetry of motion and no
poetlcal young man can see pretty girl
dancing without wishing to second the
motion.--New Orleans Picayune.
No one has ever yet been able to ex-
plain why n kiss is such pleasant
thing, but the subject is being constant
ly investigated.-SOmerUilie Journal.
He-"If you will be mine, Louisa,
will lead you through life like an angel"
She-"That is, with nothing to eat
and nothing to wear. No, | thank YOU"
-F,iegende Bldetter.
Pains in the back are frequently
caused by a sudden wrenchng of the
spine. A few applications of Salvation
Oil will give permanent relief. Price
twenty-five cents. For sale by all drug
gists.
Robinson-"Smith, did you know that
l once lived for $50 days on watar P"
Smith-"Pshaw ! | don't believe it.
Robinson" Pom my word ! Took an
ocean cruise in private yacht. Bur
lngtOn Free Press.
St. Peter ENTER. Why do you hes
itate Pr New Spirit II don't see any
usher" 1--WE have no ushers here. Sit
where you please" Dear me How
different Heaven is from church. ~
Philadelphia Record.
A spring medicine is needed by ev-
eryone. Winter food, largely consist
ing of salt meat and animal fats, causes
the liver to become disordered and the
blood impure hence the necessity of a
cleansing medicine. The best is Ayers
Sarsaparllla.
That was quite an eXcusabIe slip Of
the tongue which young orator made
at the Imperial Federation meeting the
other evening. She" he said refer
ring to Canada, has completed her 2lst
year she has attained to her manhood"
Toronto Globe.
Popinja "Blobson, your wife is like
Damascus blade. She is so keen"
Blobson-'''Thanks but am sorry to
say she lacks one quality quite as essen
tial to the Damascus blade" Popinjay
Indeed What is it p Blobson-
Good temper. "-BwlingtOn Free Press.
you would be sorry to lose your sis
ter, wouldn't you, Johnnie ?" asked the
visitor auggestively to the little boy who
was entertaining him in the drawing
room. Nope" replied Johnnie. II
guess | could stand it. Mr.. Hankinson
Nav says I've got to wear short pants
till after Irene's married.
Occulist-"Whend did your eye first be-
come intlamed ?" Patiently Yesterday
| went up to lady to speak to her and
the peak of her bonnet -" II see
We have many such cases. Use this To-
ton and be careful while the present
fashion lasts to do your talking to ladies
by telephone "-Philddelphia Record
UNABLE TO TELL.
Yes, that was so. Foryears suffered
severely with scrofula sores broke out
all over my body, and am unable to
tell one half thai suffered. was not
able to obtain relief until used Sulphur
Bitters, which completely cured me-
G. b. DALE, II Allston Street, Boston.
A physician is quoted as saying that
''the higher one lives above the surface
of the ground the less one is liable to
get the rheumatism" This is another
strong inducement for sinners to prepare
for Heaven, even though they may have
assurances that there is no rheumatism
in the other place. -NOrristOlC Herald
A very bright three year-old girl in
Cambridge kinde gartcn was selected to
SHOW off, the merits of the school,
even for mere babes, to party of visit
ors and was asked to count. She re-
Elected credit on her home by doing it as
follows Zone, two, three, four, five,