The Penn's Grove record., 1889-05-25
Manners In Company.

Some people are so asnfu tnat tney
always find 1t a hard task to go into a
room full of company. We have known
persons who when calling in offices to
collect money would hang about the
hall, or find their way into q corner
and stand as still as if they were hung
up under tho picture, waiting as it
seemed to us for an opportune moment
to ask the proper party to pay the bill,
instead of walking, directly and in a
straight forward way, up to the person
and presenting him the bill. We have
known such persons to go to socio'
parties, where they would show the
timidity and bashfulness in variou
ways peculiar to themselves. For i'll
stance they would act in such O way a
to make the impression that they didn't
know just what to do with their hands
and feet, for they were always in their
way. W. all have had to o greater or
less degree some such feelings under
similar circumstances. We have been
in company in which we could not help
being shy, uncomfortable and angry,
and wishing we had never come, and
under such circumstances, and with
such feelings, it is almost impossible to
avoid being awkward, for we feel as If
we were in a scrape and wished to get
ont of it as quickly rs possible.
Happy are they who have such con-
troll over themselves who can go boldly
where they know they ought to go, and
do with straight forward frankness
what they know they ought to do.
Persons who are not so happy as to be
in possession of these qualities, may
find some comfort in the following ad-
vice from DIR. Edward Everett Hale:
"Oh dear! / can remember perfect
ly the first formal evening party at
which I had a good time Before that
I had always hated to go to parties, and
since that l have always liked to go.
I am sorry to say I cannot tell at whose
house it was, but / could tell you just
how the pillars looked between which
the sliding-doors ran, for 1 was stand
ing by one of them when my eyes were
opened, as the Orientals say, and l re-
ceived great light. / had been asked
to this party, as I supposed, and as I
still suppose, by some people who
wanted my brother and sister to come
and thought it would not be kind to
ask them without asking me. I did
not know five people In the room. So
it was that l stood sadly by this pillar
and said to myself, you were q fool to
come here, where nobody wants you,
and where you did not want to come;
and you look like o fool, standing by
this pillar with nobody to talk to- At
this moment, and as if to enlighten the
cloud in which I was, the revelation
flashed upon me which has ever since
set me all right in such matters, Ex-
pressed in words, it would be stated
thus. "You are a much greater fool if
you suppose that anybody in this room
knows or cares where you are
standing. Trey are attending to
their affairs, and you had best
attend to yours, quite Indifferent
as to what they think Of you.' In this
reflection l took immense comfort, and
it has carried me through every form
of social encounter from that day to
this. I don't remember in the least
what / did, whether / looked at the
portfolios of pictures-which, for some
reason, young people think very poky
thing to do, but which l like to do
whether I buttonholed some fellow
student who was less at ease than ], or
whether / talked with some nice old
lady who had seen with her own eyes
half the history of the world which is
worth knowing. I only know that
after I found out that nobody else at the
party was1ooking OF me or was caring
for me I began to enjoy it as thorough
ly as l had enjoyed staying at home.
"As it is with most things, then, the
rule for going into society is not to
have any rule at all. Go unconsciously,
or, as st. Paul puts it, do not think Of
yourself more highly than you ought to
think Everything but conceit a be
forgiven to a young person in society.
st. Paul, by the way, high'toned gem
tleman as he was, is a very thorough
guide in such affairs, as he is in most
others. If you will get the marrow out
of those little scraps at the end of his
letters, you will not need any hand
book Of etiquette"