The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-10-25
TOPICS.

STANDARD TOPICS.
Shame Fun In the name of the new Chi
nese conscl at New York city. Fun
ought to be ashamed Of himself II he
isn't.
Susan Ii. Anthony has sued the Ameri-
can Glucose company, of Buffalo, for
$125 ,Cc0, claiming hat she has that much
stock i'm the concern. II there is any
thing else that Susan wants, let her ask
for IL.
Three boys, attending ~gymnasia or high
schools i'm Berlin, have shot themselves
within the past few days Oh account of
disappointment i'm not being promoted
pass up some way.
A sixtccn-year-old girl has been arrested
I'm New York for the atrociots crime of steal
ing her fathers trousers while he slept
and pawninG them. Notwithstanding
she was young and pretty she was sem
fenced to four months imprisonment.
A New York paper, in commenting up
on the departure of the scientific cxpcdi-
tod which lately sailed to view the suns
eclipse on December -, says that, as a
rule, the scientists of the party are we'll
built, medium stout men and will present
am attractive appearance before the can
nibals.
The Paris beauty show has begun with
thirty candidates, including two English,
oIhe lEtsths t~o Souti two nj
the United States, two Russians, two Hum
~9arians, two Italians, two Roumanians,
five French, and four Oricntals. The alb
sencc of candidates from Ethiopia In tn he
deplored.
On September 10 man was executed AT
Ossuna, in Andalusa, for murder, who up
to the last moment was i'm full expectation
Of ~ repricve from Queen Christina. The
rcprieve was actually signed, and orders
werS. sent To carry il out, hut il arrived
just after the execution was over. Hang
such luck anyway.
In n village in the anton of Lucernc.
switzerland, there In a society Of old
maids. Il numbers 30 member and.
queer enough, il is under the patronage of
the ST. Catherine matrimonial agency.
The municipal council recent presented
them with a banner, ON which there IL the
following startling inscription: "Women
are an evil, hut they are also N blessing.
They remind us of the onions that make
us weep, hut that we love all the same"
1.-THE courts Of Missouri have ruled that
"a man IL privileged to get drunk once in
six years. Jack Doyle was defendant i'm
the case wherein the doctrine was promul
gated, and set up i'm defence that while IL
was true that he had somewhat disturbed
the peace, he was drunk at the time, but
had not been drunk before i'm six years.
Judge Boland's eyes beanHed i~ndulgently
ON the offender, and Jack was dis
charged.
James WEIGH. aged Is years. was fined
% in Kansas City the other day for disor-
derby conduct. Young welch has been i'm
the habit of attending the services i'm the
NJ. T.. mission. He amused himself by
paper wads and peanut shells mt
CATION while they were upon their knees.
One venerable deacon. i'm giving his testi-
mony, said: "Your honor. the prisoners
conduct was He annoyed ms
80 mnch that We were finally compelled to
pray with our eyes OPEN"
There are some points of law which even
Blackstone failed To provide for. Al
ST. Louis while n group of friends
were sitting about the coffin of
jeremiah Mccarthy they were sur
prised to see the eyes of the supposed
corpse open and then close. A moment
later the head bobbed up and looked over
the side of the coffin. The undertaken
now sues the resuscitated corpse for his
services, and Mr.. Mccarthy nuts i'm the
defense that he never employed the UNI
dertakcr.
The New York san lis surprised that al
though the Morocco sultan's 'travellinR
contingent of wives alone amounts tn 20,
yet he is up and i'm the saddle by 4 o'clock
i'm the morning, while he shocks the ner-
vous system of foreign ministers ~ APP
pointing z o'clock i'm the morning for his
official reception" II the Sam will stop
tn reflect that statistics show that three
out of every 10 women are h~opelessly adj
dictsd tn snoring. il will marvel NOT that
the sultan gets up mt 4, but rather will he
amazed that he goes tai he'd at all.
Z.
Oh, the fleeing tribe OF Big Heads!
Scattered were they Ger the mountains.
They had met the valiant Get There's
Long and aercely ragged the hattie,
Strewn was all the ground with corrses.
Kicked. indeed. was many n bucket.
Nainly did their chieftains rally.
shouting to the hard pressed Zig Heads;
.sRrnce yourselves with fire watcri
Tap We all the kegs OF lager!
Help yourselves unto the bOodle!
whoOp her up again, ye warriors!