Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-02-13
OLD MAN DUNDER.
Although Not a Political Success, He
Still an American Citizen.

OLD MAN DUNDER.
Although Not a Political Success, He La
Still IN American Citizen.
swell! Well! But L thought you
were in Germany by this time?' ex-
claimed Sergeant Bendall, as Carl Dun
der entered the Woodbridge street
police station yesterday.
mo, doan' 60. Maybe dere vhas
some flies on me-maype not"
But you were discouraged the last
time you were here; you had tried pol
tiles and got left. Perhaps you have
struck something elseP"
dot vhas it, und | shall shtay right
here. l learn some new tricks, und !
hat some chances to speculate.
Tell me about it, said tho SER
geant as he settled down in his chair.
''Maype you doan' like to hear from
some greenhorns! replied Mr.. Dunder
with an injured look. ''If | vhas green
ash grass und some COWS feed on me,
better go homeP"
! Come, go ahead. What new tricks
have you gotP'
''Vhell, sergeant said the old man
as he melted slowly, ''dot trick /
shpeak of vhas to wait until more ash
! ten loafers vhas in my place, schwear-
ing und splitting und hugging the
stove, und den put in shtick of wood
NIT some powder in it und blow 'em
oop. You neafer saw such schumping
und running in your life. It vhas
enough to kill you nit laughing. A
stranger gifts me dot trick for two
| glasses of beer"
''You blow up the loafers?"
t'Dot vhas it.
''But you blow up the stove, too, and
! perhaps your saloon. Can you afford
/ to buy Il new stove every time you want
to play the trick?'
''Eh? Does der stoaf 60. blow up,
too?"
'.Of course
HIN! Go~n' think Of dot pefore.
! Of course der stoaf vhas blown oop NIT
der loafers, und maybe der house vhas
on fire."
What else?''
"Vhell, / figure on some canary
birds. can buy 'em in Shermany for
! two shillings apiece
/ "Yes"
! '.Und der price here vhas two dol
lar
Exactly"
IF I buys one million der profit
| vhas oafer million und a half dollars"
81 see. You want agents here and
! in Germany, and there is the cost of
transportation, the loss by death, and
/ you must find a million buyers. Splen-
did scheme, Mr.. Dunder! I suppose
you'll buy steamer to ship byp'
HIN! get dot speculation for two
dollars in cash, Vhas he wrong?"
''Oh no; go right ahead. Any thing
else2"
what if [ buy oop all der oranges
in der country for million dollars?"
Then you could advance prices
fifty per cent. and make heap of
money"
"Shust SO. I vhas glad you see it
like me. Dot scheme cost me only
tree dollar
''But where is the million dollars to
buy with?"
Him, dots so. Oh, I remember
now. vhas to gif my note for one
year. Dot makes her all satisfactory :"
What else?"
''Vhell, I goes in der railroad PEGS
ness. guess"
'How?'
s'In Mexico. IF we build one hun
dred miles of railroad we get two mil
lion acres of land Dot land vas
4 worth twenty million dollar, und der
income Of der road vas fife millions a.
! year. Here was der figures like some
grease. Dot pointer cost me two dol
4 lar
splendid idea. Mr.. Dunder, why
don't you buy the City Hall for 500, 900
and sell it back to the city. for half
mi1lionp''
/ '.By Shorge! but dot was excellent!
1t was wonder [ doan' think of dot
peforer'
''And, say. you could buy up forty
steamboats, this fall for $4,000 apiece
and sell them next spring for double
the money"
''Donder und bitten, but you vas
sharp man, sergeant! / doan' know
! you pefore. Shake my hand. How
much shall [ pay youp''
80, that's all right. Mr.. Dunder.
You can always have my advice Free"
''Und When | make two hoonered mil
lion dollars | gift you der best bank in
Detroit for a present. Goodbye, SER
geant, see you quicker again ven I
! vas millionaire. '-Detroit Free Press.
| The hotel clerks train,no oo.,;4