Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-06-28
DAUGHTERS CARTE DU JOUR.
A STAGE fright-The ballet dancer.

PLEADING at the bar-Begging for
drink.
The mantle of charity has been worn
thin to cover SO many sins.
AND now the frog takes to his hops
just as the winter gets on his bier.
AN illustration of simple faith-Eat-
ing sausages in a cheap restaurant.
WHEN man gives up newspaper
work he ought to go into the ex, press
business.
MISS WEERY-Ah! it mr. It be nice
to be clever. Mr.. Konsee. You
have no idea.
BROTHER TALMADGn says that
Adams second son WIS the first Abel
bodied man on record.
The man who was lost in admir-
alton of woman afterwards found
himself in love with her.
Mrs. BRowN-"f you had only lis
tened to me-" Mr.. Brown-"II
have been talked to death long ago"
PROSE poem by the collector: For
OF any two words of tongue or pen The
warmest and coolest are come again"
SHE-How do you suppose the apes
crack the hard shells of the nuts they
pick? Hewitt monkey wrench, Of
course.
MARRIAGE can't be much of failure
after all. Every married man keeps.
his own carriag e-if he happens to-
have baby.
1T is not the pigs in clover that
trouble President Harrison so much as
the desperate efforts of the hogs to
get in the trough.
AT the operetta-De Hope-These
girls march in excellent time. LIE
Bloke-Yes, they have clocks on their
stockings, don't you know?
"MY idea of moral hero" said
Whackby, "is man who speaks what
he Thinks" No." said Cooler: "it's a
man who speaks what you think"
SHE-Grandma is sc years old. and
she danced minuet here tonight He
Gust from the theater)-Why, she is
almost old enough to appear in The
ballet.
WIVES should never conceal any
thing from their husbands," says a
writer. If this advice were followed
out it would create revolution in femi-
nine pockets.
Mr.. PARvENNEw-Have you "Pro-
metheus Unbound?" Clerk-Yes, sir.
In calf or Russia leather binding? Mr.,
Parvennew-Can't you hear, you con-
founded idiot? said 1,7ebound.
"WE have fine summer resort here.
sir!" 1T looks so," "Music evenings,
parties, and round dances" II don't
| fn,. %ho Havoc,
the square meals ?"- Chicago LEDGER.
FIRST Oklahoma boomer Ito we'll
! dressed settler)- SO you've made for
/ tune since you came here, have you2
How in thunder did you do it? Well
dressed settler Qaconically)-pm the
, Coroner.
. OLDMANsoN--Have you proposed to
. Miss Southmayd, as you said you
should? Northcote-Yes, proposed
b yesterday-by note. Oldmanson-The
r note went to protest. Her father got
e hold of it.
o EDw1NA-And you were really, truly
Il true to your little wiley while Won
were in Paris, A1gernon? Algernon
e (frmly)-As true, sweetest, as the camel
!, to the eye Of the needle. Edwina-Oh,
. you darling!
= BRowN-Your teacher can't be such
q mean man as you make out. I notice
: his son has all the toys he can possibly
= need. Little Johnnie Why, dad,
= those are what his father takes away.
: from the other boys.
t II SAW you at the opera last evening".
Mr.. Smythe. Did you enjoy it p
! "Yes, very MUCH" (Which part did
:, you like best?" ooh, 1 don't know ex-
; actly. It struck me as being the pref
test when they all wore pink"
| "YoU will let me go to your we'd
t ding, will you not, dear?" said one girl
to another. "Upon my word 1 can't
promise. Ny folks are in such rage
about my wedding that am not sure
they will let me go to it myself"
THREE A. M say, offshur, ishn't
that high-stoop brown-stone house
mine? eyes, Mr.. Saunders, that's
your house." well, I wish when it
lhic) comes this way. gain you'd stop
| it,"
Mrs. DE STANG (making college
calD-I trust, Rupert, that you're not
neglecting the social training that goes
so far to make a gentleman. Her SON
By no means, mother. devote two or
three hours day to Marquis of Queens
berry rules. Mrs. De Stang-I'm So
90 glad.
DEAR me, this is SO annoyingw said
Mr.. Haggerty, impatiently. "Fve
looked all over the house for my pine,
and can't find it anywhere" did YOU
look in your mouth?" asked Mrs Hag-
gerty, regarding him with smile. mo,
by GEORGE! And it's there, too, said
Haggerty.
DHoNKE1eH = Say, Crimsonbeak,
wouldn't you like to have some of the
wealth that's lying at the bottom of the
sea, from various wrecks? Crimson
beak-I should say I would, but, You
see, they're like old maids. Dhonkeigh
Like old maids, how? Crimsonbeak
They're unclaimed treasures.
THE SPRING POET sWoRE.
The poet wrote of the buds and flowers,
And then, to wiring his soul,
hail 90 -