The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-11-21
MISCELLANEOUS.

buFtO-IOOb DldCh SutthG' one ULuu SuC-
coed, but was choked to death in the
attempt
The expression "the long and the
short of it, is never better understood
than when a man longs for money
when he is short of it.
"A citizen of Charleston, w. Va,
turned over his pillow in arising the
other morning, and found a rattlesnake
coiled up and asleep under it.
"A man may not be afraid of danger,
but he looks down in the mouth when
he prepares to descend into a mine. -
Binghamton Republican.
When a man afirms that "there' 8
lots Of money in leather" don't dis
pute him--purses are made of leather.
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
The potato is declared to be deteri-
Grating. As it is propagated from gen
GRAFTON to generation instead of from
seed to seed, it seems to be on the de-
cline.
There isnobody living to-day, with
possibly few exceptions, who will
see another year in which the figure
20" does not appear. -Arkansas Tray
eller.
A persevering parrot in Atlanta
practices new tune every night for
week till he masters it, to the great
annoyance of the occupants of the
house, who are kept awake by the noise.
The following advertisement APP
peared recently in a Pittsburgh paper
under the head of Business chances"
Notwithstanding that lazy man
can make living in by investing $500
to $500. Address, etc.
AT a teachers examination in an
Ohio county, one of the candidates
stated in answer to question that
Chicago was situated in Wisconsin.
He didn't know the size of it, "but
reckoned twas about as big as Column
bus.
-'Deuced unpleasant typographical
error in those invitations to the we'd
ding" said young N. U. Bridegroom.
"How SOP" anxiously inquired the
bride. why, instead of your pres
ence is requested, the confounded
printer made it read your presents
are requested IN. Y. Herald.
Shouts the conductor as the train
starts from Chicago: IAN aboard!
Keep in your feet!" But in spite of
this injunction an elephantine hoof
protrudes here and there from car
window, to smash the first bridge that
gets in the way.-St. Louis Magazine.
The man who is thoroughly in
earnest and alive to the Importance of
killing weeds will be constantly on the
lookout for times when he can rid him
self of these pests; but few farmers
realize what tax it becomes on their
energies and capital to allow weeds to
ripen their seeds.
Two swindlers played a very
shrewd trick on the merchants of Som
erset. Ky. They bought up all the
ginseng they could find, took it to town
and sold it at the nominal price of 81
per pound. Upon investigation it was
found the ginseng had been bought
while green, split and a groove made
in the root, which was filed with lead.
Even iron tacks we're found stuck into
the ends of the roots.
"A fresh young bride from Ohio
having heard that camphor fumes
would Danish flies, put on her kitchen
range a lot of supposed Jumps of cam
phor. They melted and spread out,
and all the flies for squares away came
swarming to them. The despairing
bride consulted an experienced matron
next door, who discovered that the sup
posed camphor was rock candy.
Grass is the forgiveness of ma
ture-her constant benediction. Fields
with battle, saturated with
blood, torn with the ruts of cannon,
grow green again with grass, and car
mage is forgotten. Streets abandoned
by traffic become grass-grown like
rural lanes and are obliterated. For
ests decay, harvests perish, flowers
but grass is immortal. Sen
ator Ingalls,.
"A Conscientious Official: Lone pas
senger on last cable car out for the
night-"Conductor, as am the only
man aboard; and as / am going to Six
ty-third street, don't see any need of
your calling out the names of ali these
streets. " Conductor (stifiy)-"Young
man, Tn paid to call out these names
and I'm going to earn my salary. If
you don't like it you can get off. Thir-
'y-fourthp '-Chicago Tribune.
A letter which read as follows was
the other day by the mayor
If Dallas. Texas: "Sir:-I have been
n this city a few days. Am a car
oenter and would like to get some
work and at same time would like to
marry. AS | am stranger, | beg YOU
would assist me in getting a wife. l
nave about three hundred dollars laid
Up; am not particular as to looks, so
The knows how to work. Am a Demo-
rat in politics,
A lady, who, though in the autumn
NJ life bac NOT Loot Ill l