Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-12-20

about for his second one.
The man with homely wife who is
desperately jealous of her.
The homely man whose pretty wife
is desperately jealous of him.
The deeply scientific man, who re-
CARDS all women as poor, perishing
packages of protoplasm. This person
can analyze all the poetry out Of June
moonlight, or the perfume and senti-
ment out of white roses.
The playful and portly individual
who always insists upon telling you a
little story that is trife broad" "you
know, la, ha." This party is apt to
grow familiar upon brief acquaintance,
unless you freeze him by briefest mon
osyllables; yet, after all, he is a harm
less creature, generally extremely tire
some. - -
Then we have all seen the sharp lex
nose and little ferret eyes. He is
confident that he can see through any
thing and anybody at mere glance.
"His wife knows better than to try to
fool him, she does." He watches over
his housekeeping, knows how many
papers of pins will last an average fami-
ly through the year, and never permits
the hired girl to use two yeast cakes in
making the bread when one and half
will do as we'll.
Then there is the young man who is
so dreadfully wicked (or who wishes
to make you believe that he is) that he
spends all of his leisure trying to think
of Eel hot /, -
yet committed in order that he may
rush right away and perpetrate it.
This desperate youth has mo faith in
woman, not the least"
Quite a common type is the cool
headed, philosophical genus, who
marries meek, rustic maiden with the
intention of molding her into an ideal
wife.
An imposing type is the extremely
moral and financially sound puritanical
individual, whose very broadcloth
would culver with righteous horror if
he was obliged to talk an hour with a
frivolous female. This kind of man
would look at you, should you say
Good morning" to him in careless,
light-hearted way, as though you were
rible purpose. He is always con
guard"
Then there is the neglected genus,
with pantaloons frayed at the bottoms,
whose wife does not appreciate him at
all, but who still loves her entirely out
of the fullness Of his big, chivalrous
heart, as he takes pains to tell you, for
you might become hopelessly interest
ed in him otherwise, and he only seeks
in you kind of intellectual companion,
which really means that he wants the
right to bore You with his stupid liter
airy effusions, and, should his wife be
an invalid, by long accounts of her diff
ferent ailments. This creature is one
OF the most naively selfish of beings; he
ends his acquaintance with you by COM
promising you in the eyes of the one
man in all the world for whose good
opinion you care most, and finally quar-
rels with you because you do not fol-
low his advice in choosing your friends.
Another variety, about as unpleasant
as the one first described, is the old
man, the very old man with grown-up
children, who talks continually about
my son John and my darter Jane. I"
he Is wldower, and extremely mod
est In his ambition, only desiring a
wife who shall be young, good looking.
Saving" and good nurse, for he IS
laid up with rheumatism two-thirds Of
the time; and she must have a snug
little property" in her own right. SO
that son John and "darter" Jane nav
not forbid the banns. This pleasinp
mass OF egotistical imbecility ought to
pc confined i'll an asylum for elderly
idiots.
Then we have seen the mattar.of-
fact, quiet man, who is apt, upon occa-
SION, to surprise you by giving evil
oehce OF latent chlvalrousness and fine
ness OF sentiment. His opposite tvpe
IS often seen,the picturesque and
posing man. who is extremely coarse
and selfish; the man who is liked bet.
ter by women than by men. the man
VINO IS a great favorite with men: the
pale sad-1ooking young man, who can.
ti !, the fancy by his mysterions
silence. When you break thronob tho
crust OF melancholy reserve Won +;nd
that his mental faculties are anooaaa
q large part of the time in wrastI;ns
with the problems of what b e siaf
nave tor his dinner, the residue Of his
leisure beng employed in first obta; ,,s
ing the price Of his dinner. ' 0''Ain-
Men as tictionists.
Inc romantic liar, with entertain
ing story Of his adventure 20 '"in-
The malicious liar.
Men as gossips.
The superannuated mosber .:4,
b bE . 90 f.; axe IKE polished gourd, and
Ma atsn as 'illlns as its rafting seeds
IT. e fs s,ain d, a street corners and leers
these are a few OF the more common