The Press., 1889-01-31
DEACON tGREEN's COW.
BY ED. F. REYNOLDS.

DEhGVN G8EHN'S VVWs
 BY ED. F. REYNOLDS.
 Deacon Green was pillar of the Bap- tist church at Cross River, N. Y.. and If there was one thing more than another that he prided himself upon, it was His knowledge of live stock.
 He used to boast that he could tell the age of horse or COW half mile off But he was naturally distrustful of human na- ture, and would not trust minister of the gospel in horse trade, or even ill deal for a COW. and he usually took some neigh bor with him when he went to buy live stock, to see that he did not get taken in, for he never liked to beat man down, but would pay whatever price was asked.
 One morning early he drove over to Dan Knapp's (who, by the way. was horse jockey. ald had long been waiting for an opportunity to tkin the deacon), and asked ssDannell, !" as be called him, if he wouldn't drive over to Salem with him and look at some COWS, as he wanted to buy one if he could find one good enough to suit him.
 "Wait till next week" said Dan, "and I'll go with you. Come over about eight o'clock next Friday morning, and we'll get an early start. Now Dan had an old COW, and she was 80 ancient that she hadn't room for any more wrinkles on her horns. She only gave a quart or two of milk day, so he had turned her out to fatteD, wben the idea struck him that he would just get the boys down and fix her up for the deacon.
 So they worked at her every day as long as they had daylight to see, and then they filed her teeth off short and even, filed up and sand -pa.ered her horns, and stuffed her as full of slops and mash as she could hold.
 Inside of week that miserable old COW looked like a twO-year-Old helfer, and all that time Dan had not milked her once, and she had the appeara1ce tf prize milker at county fair. We'll, Friday morning came, and with it, bright and ar,v, came the deacon. Of l course "Dannell wasn't really yet-had to milk the COW for the old woman. Wouldn't the deacon come out to the barn? or course he would
 ! "How many COWS do you keep, Dan- nell ?" asked Deacon Green. F "Only one, deacon" "But you don't mean to say that you fake two pails to milk one cow?" "Oh, yes," replied Dan, 'one pail wouldn't hold that cows milk.'
 The deacof's eyes sparkled with delight and admiration as he beheld this sleek and plump bovine. As Dan mixed away with all his might and filled the large pail, set lit aside and nearly filled the other, the deacon could hold in no longer and he apxiously asked
 ''Dannell, whar d;d you come across 1 that ar heifer?"
 "Oh, I got her up in Orange County" answered Dan.
 "Daauell," said the de,c,n, "do you want to sell that cow?" "No, deacon this COW belongs to the Fold woman, and if I should sell her I would never dare show my face in the house again."
 1 "Well, Dannell, if you were going to Esell that ar COW, how much would you ask flor her?'
 "Well, deacon, if I was going to sell her, Ishould ask about $75 or $SO."
 'Dannell, said the deacon; ''Ill give you $so for her, pay the cash now, and take her right along"
 "Dasn't do it" responded Dan. "Mv wife would kill me if sold that cow."
 But the deacon was determined to have the COW, 30 he raised the offer to $85 {; and kDan told him that if he would take the COW aud sneak out the back way, and crawl Gs. B hands and knees behind the stone wall until he got out of sight of the house, that he might have her. It was certain, he added, that the old woman would never let him take her away if she saw hin. The deacon followed instruc- tions, and stealthily got away with the COW.
 Abont three days afterward Dan was down to the village store, where everybody copgregates to hear the news, and it SC happened that the deacon came in, and seeing Dan there he came over to him and said:
 ''Dannell, what kind of COW was that you sold me the other day ?"
 ''Why ?" asked Dan.
 "Well," returned the deacon, 'I cant for the life of me get over two quarts ol milk at once from her."
 "How often do you milk her?'' inno gently asked Dan. "Why, twice day, as other folks do." ooh, the duse!' Dan exclaimed. "You mustn't milk her but twice week, and q you must mash her twice day that'l the way I do. ."-NeW York Weekly.