The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-04-16
BRIGHT BITS.

In this advanced age of progress and reform
it is extremely singular that no bench show for
dudes has yet been established. Troy Times.
THE oil of black birch is product almost as
precious as the altar of roses, and is worth
about $50 per gallon. AS for the ordinary birch
and hickory oil-we, we all remember what it
used to bring.-OH city Blizzard.
UNEXPECTED Bella-Dont / look like per.
feet fright in my new sack, thought
Clara absent mindedly)-YeS.
Beila-You mean thing! III never speak to
you again SO long as l Ive!- Burlington Free
Press
PUTTING IT GENTLY.-Would-be Vocalist
Well, professor, you have heard my voice.
What is the best you can do for me!
Singing Tescher-Persuade you to abstain
from singing. -Four dollars, please -Burltng-
ton Free Press. 70 80.
A BOSTON MAN drank twenty four glasses Of
sherry and egg in seven hours and got 800. We
know man who drank twelve WHISTLES in two
hours and got $40 and thirty days. This hap
pened II hit here in Minneapolis and can be
proved.-Mtnne0poEi Tribune.
THE YOUNG MAN in Montana who shot himself
because his sweetheart rejected him missed
one Of the keenest pleasures of life. He should
have married Ter neighbor, and bought for his
wife the prettieSt spring bonnet that came TO
his town.-FOrt Worth Gazette.
PAPA chat is to be)-You make draft of your
plans after marriage, George and submit it to
me.
George-I thought I'd leave that to your
generosity, sir. About fifty thousand will do,
though. I'll draw wien we get to Paris
Chicago Journal.
NEW YoRKER-Do the Upstairs of Philadelphia
belong 10 the best society there?
Philadelphia Dame-Ghe best society. Bless
your innocent heart of course they dol Why,
many and many a moonlight night I've seen
their cats and Biddle's cats bowling on the same
fence.-AeW York Weekly
70 ,Nio M
Gibbs. 1t repres ents the Rev Mr.. GoSs, the
| missionary, in the c9nter Of a group of canni-
balls.
Deacon Gibbs-I see the cannibals, Mr.. Turps,
but where is the missionary?
Artist-Didn't Just tell you that he was in
| the center of the canni5als?-Terre HGute En-
| press.
The REVENGE OF TrME.-Tapeyard-who is
thu etuanf7t girl Won r7isad v,'ur hat to?
Ribbonley-Miss Goldie Bullion.
I&pGJ,,rt ltIia.,.iJ j-,.... uI,tA return your
| courtesy Perhaps she doesn't know you.
Ribbonley, lbitterly)-No! she does not know
| me now; but when am the only young man at
Ocean Foam next summer she will not only
| l-"0T me, but pine for me in vain.-Lol0etI
| Citizen. VAN
| into pleasant groove)-I was so shocked While
reading O'Rell's book to-day. He says in
America Gne girls do the proposing sIsHabit
contemplate in him to print such SANDER?
Mercy! Why, any sef-respecting American
girl would die before she'd let man know she
| loved him. The idea of orr girls proposingl
Mr.. Bashful-Don't they?
"0f course not"
I'm very sorry, because 1 never, never
could pluck up courage to propose to a girl l
feel very blue to think a girl would rather die
| than-than let me know she wanted to marry
me. II guess I'll go home. Good-by!"
'Oh! On. OH Don't go. II love you.
Mercy. l nearly lost you. Sir down on the sofa,
my darling. -Nelo York Weekly