Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1889-05-18
EnIroRIAL EXPLANATION.


Why the swampvliIe sWiggler" Failed e
Appear Last Week.
The Swampville WiggIer Of last
week contained, among other interest
ing personals, the following:
Old Bob Crook has set report go
ing in town that does us grave in
Justice and we feel that II is our duty
TO arise and brand it as UNANIMOUSLY
false. He says that the reason We
failed to get the Wiggler out last week
was because we were too drunk to set
the type. We want to say right here
that old Bob lies. When we get too
drunk to set type we are pretty far
gone. Now, the fact Of the business is
simply this:
Thursday afternoon when our forms
were made up and ready TO lock. we
went up to Colonel Dykes saloon TO
meet Major Bones, who promised to be
there at that time to pay us sixty
cents on his subscription account,
which has been running over seven
years. When we arrived the Major
was in the middle of long yarn about
old times, and we waited for him to
finish before we called his attention to
his promise. After that we joined the
boys in drink just to show the social
side OF our nature.
Well, when we went back to our
office we found that Judge Jones' old
red SOW had rooted the Office door
down and was inside playing havoc
with things generally. She had al
ready upset the imposing stone and
| pied the forms and was at the moment
we stepped in standing on her head
eating the last Of a keg Of ink we had
just received as pay for column OF
advertising space for one year.
We undertook to drive the old sorrel
rip out, when she whirled on us and
showed strong desire to eat US. We
felt that it would be we'll to make our
escape, so we skun up the wall just as
she made rip at us and got our pants.
It was narrow escape from q horrible
death.
For four hours we sat up there
astride Of sharp joist and "sooied'
that old varmint, but she paid no more
attention to us than she would to the
blowing OF the wind. She drank the
last bit of our ink, and tried to eat the
keg, and then she ate the tympan of
the press. At last, just at dark, she
took our subscription book in hel
mouth and trotted away, and we came
down and stole home down the back
alley, where we had to remain unit
our wife succeeding in persuadine
Colonel Barnes to let us have pair o.
pants on time, for which we hope tC
induce the genial Colonel to take
advertising in pay.
This is the true reason why the
Wiggler failed to appear last week
and old Bob Crook knows it, for W.
saw him and five or six others stand
ing on the opposite street cornel
laughing at us as we sat astride of th'
joist.
We want to say right here tina
we've suffered enough at the hands o
I that old SOW, and if something is no
done with her we shall take the las
in our own hands. This is not tn
/ first time she has raided our office
It was only last month, when we wer
deeply absorbed in leading editoria
on the marvellous growth and progress
5 of our city, that she came in unnoticed
( and without the least warning roote
( over the bench on which we were a
? the time writing. That old sow is tn
! bane OF our life, and for fifteen year
5 has kept us out of the church. Sh
has demolished our Office, taken tn
q bread out of our mouth, made our lif
miserable, stood between us an
2 Heaven, and now we say she mus
Q cease. .-Drake's Magazine.
/