New-York tribune., 1889-12-24

| can assure you is none the less appreciated fron
tho fact that have stated TO your chairman, as vel
as TO the gentleman who has taken his seat, that
did not intend TO make any remarks OF any apprecab
understand that the Mayor OF the city of New Yor
is al this time, extremely busy, and ~ would be I'm
possible for him to give that time and attention to tn
| ssnbiect that would be worthy of the occasion OF
New England Society dinner. This regular recurrln
anniversary dinner famous all over the world for TN
his ii wonld be ill-becoming in me as Mayor TO max
an Impromptu oratorical effort that would be WORTHY
| neither of The Office nor OF the occasion. . -
will therefore, gentlemen, have to ask you to ex
tend your kindness to me In cxeusing me from maxim
| any extended remarks, save simply to thank you q
weI as 10 congratulate you upon such very worthy
occasion in having had the good fortune to listen e
man sn9n so fitted to make he Who has preceded m,
and who has responded TO the toast Ot the Guy o.
NewYork. prolonged laughter and applause)
AN ELOQUENT RESPONSE.
The Rev. Dr. II. f. Wayland, of Philadelphia
had TO answer the question Why Are New-Eng-
londers Unpopular?' lie did it in such mastery
and eloquent style that the room rang with cheers
when he sat down, and Chauncey NJ. Depew de-
cared that he had heard of the best speeches to
which he had ever listened at New-Engand
dinner DR.. Wayland said:
That am here this evening is as complete a
mystery to me as to YOU | do not know why your
society at whose annual meetings orators are as the
sand upon the seashore for multitude, should call
onence is attained by a Friends Yearly MeetinS.
sitting under the canopy Of silence" | can only
briliancy of your annual festival. that You wished
dilute the highly favored, richly colored, fullbodied
(or at any rate only drab-colOred waters Of the
schuylkill. Qaughter)
Ny first and wiser impulse was to decline the in
vitation with which you honored me- or rather the
society OF. Of which ii ! am the humblest member But
You for the loan Of many Of Your most accomplished
speakers; OF Curtis whose dctlon is chaste the
SHOWS OF his own New England, while bis zeal for
] f,efic Is bor Tuf cun ~ nono vyhD
as listen to him. makes me believe that tho doctrine
Of transportation is true. and that in former day
fathers, and that for some lapse he compelled to
spend a period of time in the body Of Iiolander
(auglterl OF Beaman. one Of the lights OF your bar
Of Evarts, who whether as statesman or as usator
delights in making historic periods. And this year
have been trying to capture for annual dinner ii
seems to me, ever since the Maynowcr entered Plym-
outh Bay.
SHEDDING TEAR OF SYMPATHY.
We have condolcd with these honored guests as
they with tears have told of their pifu lot, have
narrated to us how, when they might have been ting
the soil Tor what passes for soD of the New Hampshire
hills. shearlng their lambs, manipulating their shares
with the aid Of plough-handlcs and watering their
stock at the nearest brook, and might have been on
speaking acquaintance with the Ten Commandments
aud have INDUCED hope of some day going To Heaven.
and possibly 10 Boston QaugllterJ-0f the other hand
q hard fate has compelled them to be milliOnalres.
living IN palaces on Murray Ill., to confne their
agricultural operations to the swamp, and to eke out
n pTtCdllouS livelihood Dy DuNllE wat tncF 90 NOJ
want and selling what they have not got. daughter
and applause) Remembering this debt. thought that
u was al eaSt de 10 you that IN recognition Oh your
courtesy, shonld come over and confess judgment
and put you out Of suspense by telling you at
that the assets will not pay for the expenses of dis
tnbution The best can do is to make you pre-
ferred creditor. Uaughter.) I have heard that an
lsraellte without guile. doing business down in Chat
ham-st, called his creditors together and offered them
in settlement his note for ten per cent on their claims
PAYABLE in four months. His brother one Of the
took him aside and said. DO not make any objections
and will make you preferred CREDITOR daughter
and applause) SO the proposal was accepted by all
like what is coming 70 me- "Oh," was the reply,
you won't get anything; they won't any of them
CREDITOR $50 you are. These notes will not be paid
when they come due but IT will take them four months
to find out that they are not going to get anything
Bnt you know it now; you see you are preferred"
Renewed laughter)
POOR PLYMOUTH ROCK.
In casting about for q subject lin case should
unlappily be called to occupy attention for
a momenO, had thought offering few observations
upon Plymouth Rock: but was deferred by weird
and lurid announcement which L in your papers,
appearing in connection with the name of an eminent
clothing dealer, which led me to apprehend that that
ahn"nucement MT, read. Pymont6 Rock pants " pre-,
sumed that Plymouth Rock tired I'm advance, at the
prospect OF being roted ont once more from the Old
Colony down to New Orleans thence to san Francisco
thence TO the cities OF the unsalted seas and so on
back 10 the point of departure Great laugher Upon
aPynont6 Rock pants for s5S 1t seemed to me
that without solicitation my part there ought to
he public spirit enough in this audience to make up
this evening the modest sum which would put Plymouth
Rock at Great laughter.)
As ] look along this board, Mr. President, and gaze
upon these faces radiant with honesty with industry
with wisdom, with benevolence, with frugaty, and.
above all, with contcnted and cheerful poverty,
am led to ask the question: suggested by the topic
assigned me in the programme Why are we New
Eneanters 50 M why tLose p9eS nGes tS
mean Yankees ''the stingy Yankees 1.-The cOsefsted
Yankees. 1.-The tin-peddng Yankees" and above all,
the terse and condensed collocation. those id
those blessed Yankees" the blessing being comprised
between two d's. though conferred by benevolent
oISep time. in the years beyond the food. when the
presidential office was vacant and James Buchanan
was drawing the salary, at period before the recol
lection OF any one present except myself, although
possibly my esteemed friend Your secretary, Mr..
Inbbard may have heard his grandparents speak OF
going about descriptive OF the feelings Of our brethren
1iving between ana the Equator, running somewhat
THUG:
Meath the shade OF the gumree the sOuther"er sat-
A.twistng the brm OF his palmetto hat
BY hS9mns tiT words q the following ede'
Oh Cor cocktail Il, ard 5!1, Oh for for z daIpS;r nipS;
Oh FOR a crack at Yankce school teacher.
d 90 he eept w6 q9s ow Gg m for f all aS Ra Red go
POSSIBLE EXPLANATIoN.
WHY does the world minify our intelligence by
depreciang our favore article of diet, and express
the ultimate extreme of mental paupersm by saying
of him on whose intellect they would heap contempt
lie doesn't know beanspl Gaughter) And IL is
within nv recollection that there was time when IL
was proposed to reconstruct she Unl0n OF the states
with New England left out. Why, | repeat 1t, tho
intense unpopularity Of New England
For one thing. 10 seems 10 we are mated because
of our virtues Ostracised because men arc tired
Of hearing about " New England the good The
virtues OF New England seem u itacize the moral
povcrtv Of mankind at large. Tho fact that the very
irst act of our foremothers even before the landing
was made, go years ago, was to go on shore and
do up the household linen. which had suffered from
thc VOYAGE of ninety days, IS perpetual rcproOf 70
those nations among whom there is great opening
for Pears Soap, who have great many saints days
hut no washing day. daughter and appluse.l When
men nowadays disposed 10 steal Il million acres
from the Indians. IL detracts fIom their enjoyment TO
reod what Governor Josiah WinslOw wrote In 1876
:" think | can clearly say that, before the present
troubles broke out, the English did not possess one
foot OF land in this colony but What was fairly oh