davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31
HUMOROUS.

A Nevada man stole frame house.
Cut flowers Wall flowers.
A husbandman is not always hus-
baud.
A rule of three-For one to take his
departure.
The guillotine block is one of the
French polling places.
The dude is great stickler for the
correct thing in canes.
A swallow may not make summer,
but frog makes a spring.
The long and the short of 1.-THE
measurements both ways.
Strange, isn't it, that sound sleep
is generally the result of soundless
sleep.
There is no reason IN the world why
''baby show" shouldn't be a howling
success.
It's strange that in throwing up our
hands to a highwayman we throw down
our arms.
There are different ways of showing
wrath; the tea-kettle sings sweetest
when it is hottest.
The young idea may sometimes be
best taught to shoot by putting it
through course of sprouts.
Mrs. Qu~terest-What is your atti-
tude toward Wagner's art, professor.
Professor Balde-Hands over my ears.
Some men are born great, some achieve
greatness, and soms have had fathers
who relieved them of all RESPONSE
bility.
Oldmauson--Have you telephone,
Biggs2 Biggs-No, am not on speak
ing terms with the company. Their
rates are too high.
The man who was blown thirty feet
in the air out in Pennsylvania town,
while repairing natural gas main, re-
marked that he had been thrown out of
work.
Mggs: II hear policeman was
killed yesterday in the discharge of his
duty" Bliggs: Gle probably didn't
know it was loaded"
A.-Can you let me have five dollars4
/ left all my money at home and
haven't cent with me. B.-Sorry
can't lend you the five dollars, but here
is a nickel car fare. Now you can rid'
home and get your money.
Returned traveller: "Mr. Richmar
could draw his check for a million wheI
Ilcft. How much money has he by thi
timel" Citizen: "IIe hasn't any.
"Ehl Wha- Did he faila" "No
he died."
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31

would not weight, one poet said,
The wing of Fancy soaring high
UP the blue dome of boundless sky;
or part the downy plumage spread
Above her breast even by strand
VI silken service wrapping there,
10 send across the summer nd,
Sue mes ages through the golden air
As humber pinions deign to bear.
My realm is Beauty's large domain;
My service, Art, for Arts pure sake,
That does not ask, and viii not take,
The low rewards of Q or gain
That owns no duty in a song
No Epic call that shall avail
To urge the right or chide the wrong,
Or hearten hope when hope would fail
l sing as sings the nightingale"
IF through my verse" another sang,
"a throb is felt, whose human beat
Reveals purpose, strong and sweet
To anodyne some deadly pang,
Or help some halting soul to reach
Firm foothold on the path that leads
Starward, through what my verse may
teach,
Or heal the hurt that inward BILE d',
Or spur some life to loftier deeds
u leave content the rarer height
OF Art to such e hereal souls
As Beauty's finer air inlolds
In atmospheres too keen of light
For earth-born vision. While they soar,
Let me keep warm within my breast
The heart throh-- and asl nc poren
Men pra sed the Poet for the rest
God loved the lowlier singer best
-Mdrgdret j. Preston
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31
How the President spends HI. n.-

"
Tho President divides his time GO =.
to have ample opportunity for rest. ro.
erection and work. lie generally rises
about z o'clock in the moning and
breakfasts with his family at 8 20
o'clock. He usually leaves the buildino
by the south door and INDUCES in =
stroll of half IN hour about the ground,
south Of the mansion. He then return.
to his office and BY 9. 80 O'clock is on
gagged in looking over papers and ar.
ranging his work for the day. At II
o'clock Senators and Representatives be-.
gin to arrive and they are received with
the utmost courtesy, patience and con.
sideration.
At | o'clock the President, except on
cabinet days, dcscends to the east room.
where ho always finds hundreds of per.
sons, men and women, who are stran
gers in the city, waiting to pay thei,
respects. After dispensing this crowd
with many pleasant remarks, he takes
his luncheon and then returns to his of.
flee, where lssDegins the real work of
the day, undbturbod by callers, except
by special appointments, as these three
hours are devoted 10 audiences granted
to cabinet ministers to submit the bust
ness Of their departments and receive
directions. At 5 o'clock he usually
takes long walk in the northwestern
section Of the city, Or drive with Mrs.
Harrison and the ladies of his family.
At 7.S0 O'Clock the President Joins
Mrs. Harrsonand the ladies at dinner
in the family dining room. frequently
he invites some friend or official whom
he desires to meet in the less respected
and more leisurely surroundings of
informal hospitality. La;er in the
evening the President passes his time
with his fanny, or receives visitors who
are entitled to call socially. -PtttsJurg
Commercial GGzette.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31

The Dakota "rustler" is the direct
product of the blizzard. He moves with
quick, resistless force. lie does not
rest for sleep or food. He knows no
WEAKNESS of the flesh. He has no doubts
or fears. He believes, and he is an in
spirer of faith. He will build hotel of
300 rooms on a street-motor railway on
the blank prairie and wait for town to
grow up around it, The town always
comes, if he be a genuine rustler.
You can't tell by his looks, nor by the
cut of his clothes. His grammar is often
added, and he makes bib of his nap
kin at table But when he turns himself
loose upon a project with money in it
the project projects. 1t looms. 4
= s.s ssss-srs It 'eVsE II The Il way 81
your eyes, and before you know it you
begin to see rainbows around it.
He cares nothing for money after it is
made. Ask, and it is given you. Tell
him tale of woe, and out comes his
purse. He would moulder in a week
behind desk or in,.s counting-room.
He is always on the lope. To-day, he is
getting options on corner lots in Pierre; /;
tomorrow, he is building mills at Yank-
ton. Then he is off to st. Paul bull
doing Jim" Hill for more railroads,
or of to New York placing the stock Of
a new loan and trust company. He Is
interested in everything. He lets no
enterprise escape him. They'll all pay
he says, or all "bust."' There is 90
middle line out there.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31
That MOnsterthe Dakota Grasshopper.


The Dakota grasshopper is not be-
guiling insect he is a monster of in
iquity if we believe the local reports, and
his ways Of doing quite pass the or
dinary understanding. lie does not
swoop down and cat everything before
him and then go on his way. Not
bit of it. Htstars for given point,
and nothing turns him but the wind.
Being unable to fly against that he
drops to the orth and waits, and wheat
ilelds G0vys pss greater part Of ,,.,,, the
on one Of them. III docs tbis in
swarms of million or mort and should
the wind detain him for mo- than a
couple of days, having eaten as rn,ch as
he could find, he takes to breeding md
flies away leaving innumerable egg,
buried in the ground, in hole made by
digging with the tail. The first warm
day after this and the eggs are hatched
and all the field becomes moving mass
of insects. In forty eight hours they
have grown sufficiently to take a whole
grain at mouthful. To catch these
exasperating creatures is no easy task.
An open tin pan is driven across thC
field. The grasshoppcr always jumps
back at everything he sees approaching
and in this way he is caught in the PAL
and held by net. In hundred yard'
a man catches barrel of them, and
leaves as many behind him. CONNER
ciaJ Adggtiser.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31

A theatrical company is charitable
when it plays to a poor house
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31
PORT TOBACCO, NJ
Love Me.

Love Me.
] wandei' through the blooming woods
Where no unhallowed thought intrudes
And song and sunshine fall in floods;
hear among the budding trees
Contentment signing in the breeze,
And even the winds reprove me,
For crying out mid scenes like these,
"Love mel Love mel Love mep
mingle with, yet walk apart,
The crowds that throng the busy mart
And silent bear my breaking heart
And live-oh, lifei with pain replete
So sweetly sad, so sadly sweet,
With only one hope TO move me,
These eehoing heart throbs still repeat
Love mel Love mel Love me~
The pinions of the day are furled
And night enshrouds the sleeping world,
But still, like restless bIlows hurled
Upon the shore; my spirit flies,
From star to star with weary eyes
Through the pitying skies above me
And in its hopeless anguish cries,
Love mel Love mel Love mer
M H. Folsom IN atlanta Constellation.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31
Croup. A Mother,s Trlbu4s.

"While in the country last winter my little
boy, three years old, was taken i'll with Group;
IL seemed as if he would die from strangu-
lation. One of the family suggested the use
of AYERS CHERRY PICTORIAL, n bottle of
which was always kept in the house. This
was tried in small and frequent doses, ana
TO our delight in less than half an hour the
little patient was breathing easily. The doe
tor said that the CHERRY PICTORIAL had
saved my darling's life. Can you wonder at
our gratitude? Sincerely yours,
Mrs. EMMA GEDNEY.
159 West 12sth St., New York, May l6, 1852.
al have used AYERS CHERRY PICTORIAL
m my family for several years, and do not
hesitate to pronounce it the most etfectuai
remedy for coughs and colds we have ever
tried A. j. CRANF.'
Lake Crystal, Mimi, March l3, 1882
.sIsuffered for eight years from Bronchitis.
and after trying many remedies with no sue
cess was cured by the use of AYERS CHER
nv PFcroRAL. JOSEPH WALDEN"
Byhalia, Miss, April 0, 1852.
~ cannot say enough in praise of AYERS
CHFRRY PICTORIAL, believing rs | Go That
INT for its use should long since have dice
from lung troubles +. BKAGpON."
Palestine, Texas, April %, 1852.
No case of an affection of the throat or
lungs exists which cannot be greatly relieved
by the use Of AYERS CHERRY PEcToRAs4
and Il will al.apss sssre when the disease is
not already beyond the control of medicine.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31

every well" answered the man, and
Geoffrey handed him his card
Geoffrcy turned homewards, pleased
with his discovery. For a long time he
had meditatei painting a series Of
pictures representing the emotions
Here is my Angel Of sarvow. .ssral.
lied already he said TO himself es he
pursued his way through the still
crowded thoroughfare home.
The pretty italian found Geoffrey
Vail in his studio awaiting her visit on
the following day.
The strong light in the studio, where
the curtaios were purposely drawn
.Ss.ca, revealed to the artist that he had
oot been deceived with regard to her
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31
AYERS
Cherry PectOral.

No other complaints are so insidious in their
attack as those affecting the throat and lungs;
none so trifled with by the majority of suffer.
ers. The ordinary cough or cold resulting
perhaps from triling or unconscious ex-
posure, is often but the beginning of fatal
sickness. AYERS CHERRY PICTORIAL has
well proven its efficacy in forty years fight
with throat and lung diseases, and should be
taken in sll eases without delay.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31

"In 1851 took severe cold, which affected
my lungs. had a terrible cough, and passed
night after night without sleep. The doctors
gave me up. | tried AYERS CHERRY Pee
ToRAL, which relieved my lungs, induced
sleep, and afforded me the rest necessary
for the recovery of my strength. BY the
continued use of tho PICTORIAL a perma-
nent cure was effected. / am now 62 years
old hale and hearty, and am satisfied your
CHERRY PECrORAL saved me.
HORACE FAIRBRCgHER."
Rockingham, VT, July IS, lss2.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-05-31
EIenhants ON the War Path.

An elephant stampede, which was
nearly taking the same disastrous turn
as the one which occurred recently at
Munich, is reported from Riga. Eight
trained elephants have lately been ex-
hibited at the salamonski Circus. A few
evenings ago, one of the animals, in
stead of going quietly through the per
formance, raised his trunk suddenly and
began to Numpet. His comrades at
once becamS unruly aud made for the
door. One Of the grooms closed it, but
the first Of the elephants burst it open
without trouble. A lady who attempted
to run across his path was seized gently
round the waist by the animals trunk
and safely deposited on one side. The
huge quadrupeds burst through another
door into the passage and found their
way to the box Office. This seemed to
excite their curiosity, and they examined
it minutely. They then entered small
courtyard and began regular wal
dance, uttering piercing cries as they
pranced about in their wild antics.
Eventually they were mastered and
walked off to their quarters. Two Of
them, however, again got away, and,
curiously enough, trotted back towards
the circus. They missed their way, and
rushed into the yard of a neighboring
house, to the terror of the inmates, who
were reused from their slumbers by the
eIephantine assault 1t took several
hours to reclrtGre the fugitiyes.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1889-12-23
IEXA-NDRIA.
MONDAY EVENING, DECEMBER %.

THERE WAS considerable talk previous to
the commencement of the present session
of Congress among those referred to-, about
the seventeen southern republicans in the
House forming solid band for the purpose
of securing rightful recognition for their
section in the organization of that BODY.
But the announcement of the committees
shows that that attempted bluff was an en-
tire failure, and that Mr.. Speaker Reed aro
his republican advisers have no more real
regard for southern republicans than Presi-
dent Harrison or anybody else who under
stands them. Ofall the committee chair
uosnships, only one wa given to southern
republican, and that. an unimportant and
insignificant one, to Mr.. Brewer, of North
Carolina who is such an independent that
he even voted for the Mills bill in the last
and Congress, will be opposed for reelection
by a more pronounced republican. Southern
republican congressman are held In as little
estimation by northern republicans as they
are by the reputable white people In their
own districts.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1889-12-23
Death of Henry w. Grady.

ATLANTA, Ga, Dec. 23.--Henry W. Grady
died of pneumonia at twenty minutes before
four this morning His death had been
feared by those who had watched the case
closely, bat nobody expected it 30 soon. Il
was shortly after elevea O'Clock that Dr..
Everett announced that Mr.. Grady was
siuking rapidly and that the end was near.
Then it was that all the members of the fam.
lily and relations gathered about the sick bed.
Mr.. Grady Was but So years of age. 1t is
only ten years since ne first began to attract
attention, and his rapid rise in the affections
of the people has been without parallel
His message to his mother, in conscious
moment yesterday, was characteristic; IF
I die" said be, II die serving the South, the
land love go we'll. Father fell in battle
for it. l am proud to die talking of it,
The funeral has not yet been definitely ar
ranged, but he will be buried in Atlanta
probably on Thursday,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1889-12-23
&Slgg'zssl66z
ASSOCIATED PRESS DISPATCHES.
The Slavin S NTH Fight.

LONDON, Dec. 23.-The fight between
Jem Smith, of England, and Frank Slavin,
the Australian champion, was fought this
morning on private grounds three miles
from Bruge4. Belgium. Slavin showed ali
through the fight that he was the better
man. number of roughs at the ring side
armed with knuckledusters and sticks,
tried to reach Slavin over the ropes, and
the Australian was struck several times.
Savin claimed the fight, but the referee
would not award it to him. Slavin forced
the fighting at the start, hitting Smith sew
era times on the chest and he id in the fret
two rounds. Ia the third round Smith got
home with his right and left and in return
was knocked down by S'aVin. The fourth
round was marked by hard fighting In
the h Slsvin landed a terrific blow on one
of Smiths eyes. In the 7th Smith fought
SIayin to the ropes where crowd of Smiths
friends kicked Slavn. S!avin again knock
ed Smith down in the eighth round. 10 the
9th, the mob surrounding the ring struck
Slavin several times. Ia the 11.h SIavin
agaio knocked his opponent down. Smiths
friends again struck Slavin during the 18Th
round, bat their man was once more knock
ed down. 10 the 14sh SiaVin appealed to
the referee for fair play. His appeal was
greeted with derisior By Smiths friends,
who shouted ''police" aud bolted from the
grounds. Siavin remained in the ring, and
Smith, who had left when his friends ran
away, returned. Tho referee then said that
it was impossible to secure fair treatment
for Slavin and declared the fight draw.
SIavin was full Of fight to the finish, while
Smith was very sick.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1889-12-23
Fires.

TIrrsBURe, Pa, Dec. 2S.-The Biglsy 10.
tel, at Alpsville. on the Baltimore and Ohio
railroad, was destroyed by FIRE yesterday
morning. Tas large binding was originally
constructed by Capt. Nioholas J. Bgley as a
summer resort at q cost of 500 900. but was
a failure. The builIing was occupied by q
number of families, all of whom escaped
1t was insured.
WABASH, Ind. Dec. % Nine business
houses 10 the village OF Lsesburg were burn
ed yesterday. The Losses aggregate $25, 900,
with $40 900 insurance.
FORT WORTH, Dec 23.-The cotton COM
press with ten carloads OF cotton on track
and about 1000 bales on the platform, were
destroyed by fire yesterday. Loss $50, 900.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1889-12-23
Telegraphic Brevities.

A dispatch from London says the steamer
P. Calland oolided with the ship Thorbeicke
" and sustained some damage. The latter
vessel sunk.
The British armor clad Sultan, which in
March last sunk near the island of Malta
and which was subsequently, raised, has ar
rived at Spithead
Mrs. Kate Houston and her two yesi Did
daughter were fatally burned In New York
early this morning by their clothes taking
fire from an exploding kerosene lamp.
Portions of human bodies supposed to be
the remains of the crew OF the wrecked
bark Germanis, have been found on the
beach between Sandy Hook and Saabright,
n J.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1889-12-23

THAT Mr.. Speaker Reed does not Intend
to allow any "foolishness" among the mem
bers of mis- party 10 the House, s proved by
the fact that Mr.. Cheade, ofIndiana. though
such au ultra republican, in political matters,
that he stumped Virginis, at the last cleo
lion, for Gen. Malone, has been disciplined
for voting for the blind chaplain OF the
House rather than for the republican nomi'
nee for that place, matter which he right
fully thought had nothing to do with poll
tics. For this offense the only place offered
MIR. Cheadle was at the tai! end of an I'm
important committee, which, as he stated
his self respect and respect for bis constitu-
ents compelled him to decline at once. MIR.
Cheadle will never vote against his party's
aominee again.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1889-12-23
VIRGINIA NEWS.

]. Marsden Smith, merchant, fell over.
beard and WAS drowned Saturday at Nor
folk.
Up to Friday evening the Salem I'm
provement Company had sold 700 lots fol
about $500,
Christ Episcopal Church, Winchester
caught fire from furnace Saturday evening
and much damage was done to 1t by water
Roanoke city will on the % Of January
vote on proposition to subscribe another
800 900 to the Roanoke and Southern Rail.
road.
Miss Mary Jane Harrison, sister of the
late Prof. Gessner Harrison, of the Uni
versity of Virginia, died in Harrlsonbure
last week.
William Marks, the young man who Was
shot near Lynchburg by his father, died
Friday last. His father committed suicide
after the shooting.
Julius Hooz er, an employe OF the Nor
folk and Western Railroad, was run over
By train, having leg crushed, and died
from the Injury Friday.
Mrs. Catharine Miller, of Rockingham,
drowned herself in the Shenandoah river
last week. She had been laboring under
mental arrangement for some years.
Special policeman Jacob R. Mowley, at
Virginia Beach. and for many years on the
Norfolk force, was fatally injured Sstur.
day by the frame of pile driver falling
on him.
Prof ]. E Armstrong died In Baltimore
Saturday after an illness of several months
He was born in Essex county where he
lived until last February, when he went to
Baltimore.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1889-12-23
FROM WASHINGTON.
Isueeial Correspo udenee of the Alexs. GAzETrn]

=
WASHINGTON. D. c.. Dec %. 1889.
In referring to Speaker Reeds commit
tees. Judge Ssner, who is here, said to-day
that Brewer, OF North Caroline, ia evident
" coming representative southern repub'
ioan leader II will be remembered that
be ia q kicker" from way back. He voted
against his party 10 the last Congress for
the Mills bill, went before bis people and
was reelected, came here and when the
sitting down" process, which is being car
ried out with such mastery SUCCESS against
southern republicans, was inaugurated, ne
"kicked" again and gained some of his mat
ters before the departments. 10 the pres
emit organization of the House he has gotten
his brother a good place, and the only
craftsmanship Of q committee given to q
southern republican he has won over others
who have been very qniet and passive anu
have never broken "out OF the traces.
Judge Sener says Brewer is personally az
agreeable as he is aggressive ana successful
and predicts that be will yet be consioer
able factor in North Carolina, If not IN IA
tionsl politics.
The following changes in the 4.h class
postofices of Virginia were made to Gay
Adams Grove, Southampton county, Jonn
Il. L 0OmhS appUlDlou poo0tnoo1o' WV " --'
F. Adams, removed Alma. Page county
Adam Seakford, vice S. b. Price, removed
Alum Springs, Rockbridge county, Lacy Z.
Alphin, vice G. L. Peyton, removed; FORK
Union, FluvaDna county, WIN. b. Sadler,
vice J. NJ, Snead, removed Union Mills,
Fluvanna county, George b. Webb, vice ID.
G. Mcdonald, removed.
10 the House last Saturday evening Mr..
Browne of Virginia presented the petition OF
John r. Johnson of Accomsck, for the refer
ence of his claim to the Court of Claims.
New York politicians here today seem TO
think that the blow Gov. Hill has just given
ex.President Cleveland, by designating an
anti. Cleveland paper as the official newspa-
per of the Safe, will so widen the breach
between the Cleveland and the Hill people
that the next national democratic conven
ton will deem 1t dangerous to nominate
either one of the leaders of those factions,
and be induced to look fer its nominee 10
some other northern State.
1t Is reported here that of the five super
vsors of the census to be appointed in Vlr'
pinie. two will be democrats and three re
publicaus.
| 1t is rumored here that Mr.. john Wise
has written another letter in respect O
the present administration, and that 1t II
even more scornful and derogatorY OF The
powers that be than the former one,i whicf
! he spoke of the President and the Cabne
as "mugwump, sniviling and pharisaica
lot"
No more federal appointments il Virginia vii
| be made until after the holidays.