The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-15
BRIGHT BITS.

You've Mr.. BIBBER. when asked by his must
cal lady companion why he went out between
the acts of ''Mestersi ger frankly replied,
To get an opera glass. '-L01oeH Maj.
EASY EyouGH-How can you tell poor cigar
without smoking it, Smiou?
by looking ut the pictures on the box, my
frenj If the picture is pretty the cigar is bad -
Boston Courier
Il AN from st. Louis said a young man, as
he registered at a Chicago hotel.
On, well, replied tho clerk compassionately,
put your address DOM as New YORK. Your
awful secret will be safe with me "-HdrDer'S
Buzdr
AT Scotch funeral one of the mournecs ap-
preached the minister and whispered 10 him
,'Dae sc ken what aye think just when they re
letting down the cofin:'' (the coffin was Just be-
Ing lowered into the t;rav.).
Solemn thoughts, | suppose, said the min
lster, of death and eternity. have no doubt
Ma said the other, I'm aye avfu glad its
no me. All the Year Round.
Practical COOKING SCHooL.-Young Hus-
band--So you want a COOK, | thought you
attended cooking scho d before married you:
Young Wffe-So l did, but we studied ouy
ornamental cooking. know nothing about
breads or meats or the common courses, but
can make lovely tint of cake frosting, and
know how TO arrange an exquisite bouquet for
The dinner tabe.-OtRGtd World.
AN estimable and learned brother recently
preached a sermon which was aflerwar1 pub
uSueu III UB6 Troy ItNSS. Presumably our good
brother does not Write very lagin!y, or else the
ype-setter was more than usually careless and
the pro lf-reader a Protestant For whereas the
manuscript contained a quotation from St. Il
natlus of Antioch to the effect, Where the
bishops ana presbyters are, there is the church
of God" the printer made it real, Where the
bishop is Presbyterian, there is the church of
GOD. "-CGth0ttc Champion.
HEAD WA1rER-Hope you are not going to
forget the waiter, sir
Ia cir IN 70 n i'm
forgive him, either. why don't YOU 90 to work,
and quit begg!nSE Hang me II I haven't half a
mind to have you arrested for vagrancy;
Head Waiter Bot sir, have employment
sir: the Troprletors OF this hotei, sir, are my
employers sir
Guest-Then why don't they pay you enough
TO keep you from begging: Hang me, if
don't have them arrested, Co0, as accessories
before Naturalization Transcript.
"NopIsrE replied Mrs Sjukerson, with an
lccenl that was slightly off, as Shs read the
sign on the red bricK house. Matilda, what
does that me1n?'
said her daughter. That's another word for
dresSmaker.'
We'll it amt good name for them"
why not?'
'Why not: Look at them too ball dresses
You got last week. You wouldn't call anybody
that made such things as them modiste, would
you?'-EeIcbaAt Traveller.
SUSPICIOUS LOOKING INDIVIDUAL (accosting a
business man IN AuStin)-In New YORK eleven
mru rep esent $21l.UO0, 900.
B. Ms that 500
Yes. Now ia Austin the wealth is not quite
much concentrated. We will assume that
twenty of us represent $780, 900"
Yes
1--WE will also assume that you and I are two of
the twenty
Yes"
well then, how would it be if wanted to
iraw out 10 cents from the capital STOCK of the
syndicate would you let me have it!''-Ieras
Siftttgs.