Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-11-08
CARL DUNDER.

He Is Catching on to American Ways u
Last.
| "Hello! Mr.. Dunderr'' saluted Sergt Ben
dali as that individual entered the Central
! station with q broad, satisfied smile on hi.
| countenance.
.'Hellol sergeant Was eafrythings al
| right NIT your
II guess so. You look happy"
Sergeant, vhas shust like sweet oil Nc
more troubles for me. vhas catching on to
do shust like Americans.
II am glad of that You used to be ter
ribly green"
$50 1 vhas Three months ago doar
know some beans in a bag. Hal hal Dez
! COWS come along and take me for some grass.
If il rains shtandt right out doors and get
wet. Ha! ha! 1t makes me laugh when I see
how green / vhasl"
Anything happened latelyr queried the
sergeant in careless way.
''Vhell, not mooch. Some fellers try to
beat me, but dey doan' make oudt. I vhas
too sharp for 'em. One Teller comes along
doan' want to sell dose shears, but he likes to
borrow three dollars for one day und leaf
'em for security. If he doan' come pack in
one Jay UOSS SHSdTS fudS ullue.
81 see."
'He doan' come pack. Maybe he break his
leg or something, but dot vhas nothing to me.
keep dose shears. II somepody beats me, Ser
geant, he shall hat to get oop very early liz
der morning"
'Ipresume so. Have you the shears therel'
81 hat. belief you like to see EN-"
'They are worth two shillings a pair" said
the sergeant, after an inspection. "You are
out of pocket fourteen shillings, and what do
you expect to do with sheep shearsp
'Heafensl doan think of dot" gasped
Mr.. Dunder as he grew white in the face.
Anything elseF
"Vhell, get my life insured. doan be-
lief vhas sheated by dot. A Teller comes
along und says vhas Carl Dunderl vhas
Vhell, der president Of der United States says
he likes me to call on you und insure your
life. Dis vhas q new company und a new
idea. let you in by der ground floor. like
your name to influence odder people.
"'How vhas dot new ideap
''You pay only two dolla4s eafery twenty
years. and if you die your wife gets S75, 600.
1t vhas der biggest thing out, Shildrens cry
for it. Vanderbilt, Shay Could Russell
Sage und all der big fellows vhas into it.
How oldt you vhas-who vhas your grand
mother-how many teeth have you lost oudt
vas you eater bit by some dogs-did you
eater own white horse-how often you fall
down stairs-do you ride on some bicycles,
und dis vhas der truth. der whole truth, und
nothing but der truth"
''And be wanted the Sc in advancep'
queried the sergeant.
"Of course. Dot vhas to pay for shwearing
me-"
''Well, you are beaten again, Mr.. Dunder
Insurance men don't do business that way.
Good dayl"
''How you meanr
''You had better go home Have you got
tub in your housea'
'Of course"
'Any bran at the barn7"
eyes"
"Well, make the tub about half fnil OF
mash, and then put your head to soak for
about forty-eight hours. When through buy
some No. sandpaper and polish it down to
the bone"
Sergeant, vhas some greenhorusp
"You are"
"Vhill eafer learn somethinss7"
"Neyer"
'Then, good-by ! shan try no more. 1t
vhas queer country, und nothing vhas der
same two times alike. When my body vhas
brought in here doom make fun Of it. Shust
use it silently und say dot l did 50 well ash l
could. "-Detroit Free Press