The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1889-07-20
SOME NEWSPAPER BORES.

/
HOW THE EXCHANGE FIENDs MAKE
THE EDIT oR's LIFE A BURDEN.
| Calling at All Hours Loaded with Ques-
tions-A Westerncr Looking for a San
| Francisco Paper-A Capitalist Wants to
| Borrow The Boston Growlcr.
Everybody has heard of the exchange fend.
Possibly he is regarded by many purely
imaginary character, with no more real ex-
istence than the John Doe and Richard Roe
of the old time legal documents or the Ker-
smith and Bjones of the modern newspaper
dialogue grinder. Yet he has being, my
lords and gentlemen, as truly as the human
race, whose existence was vouched for by the
dishgured hero of Victor Hugo's story of
"The Man Who Laughs"
| The exchange editor Of large daily news
paper has no sinecure 1t is his business to
| look through all the exchanges that como to
| the Office, to make selections of miscellany
for various departments, to cut out and lay
aside matter that may be of interest or inn
rortance to tho political, dramatic financial,
musical, sporting or other editors, to collect
material for use on special occasions or
certain days OF the week, and often to pre-
| pare special departments consisting of the
aggregated comment of the press at largo in
regard to matters Of public interest. He cuts
and ships, pigeon holes and arranges In piles,
pastes clippings on blank sheets of paper,
writes heads and credits, and occasionally
uses strong language when lie finds the ex-
changes unusually barren of material.
AT tho close of the day his table is covered
with clippings and tho floor in his vicinity is
Uttered knee deep with tho mutilated remains
| Of newspapers. Imagine him hard at work
with scissors, paste pot alxl pencil. Tho door
opens and n smiling stranger enters.
| THIRsTlNG FOR LITERARY KNOWLEDGE.
"Do you-ah-exchange with Tho Ammo
rooga Bugles"
"No"
'rhc IIacklnctack Hard Times3"
| NO"
"Can you tell mo where l can find thcm2"
Possibly at tho advertising agency of
Winis g. Blinkcnl."
"Ah, thank you. I'll just look through
this pile of papers minute if you are done
with Them"
And ho looks through them for half an hour
to SEQ If tho exchange editor has lied to him.
Next comes n greasy looking man with
stoop shoulders and enormous hands.
"lIavc you file of San Francisco papersl"
ho asks.
"Wo don't keep files of any papers"
"Whcro can find thcms'
AT the advertising agency of Winks e.
Blinkcm, probably"
"You say you don't keep filcsa Have you
got the last ones on handl Arc they in this
pilc' If you have no objection III take a
look at them"
llu takes n look and finally goes away with
a scowl on his face and without saving
"Thanls YOU"
capitalist worth half million comes ill.,
"Good morning. May look over your
Boston papers Il nloment9 Fine old paper,
that Boston Growlcr | used to take 1t, and
feel lost il don't SEQ it once in II while"
"What do you do with these papers when
YOU arc done with theml' inquiries tho next
caller
II don't know. Ask tho jantor"
I'D be willing to pay n littlo something
for them. of course they're not"-
81 havo nothing to do with tho exchanges
after Two gono through them."
Don't you suppose'-
81 don't suppose anything. Talk to the
jantor"
Tho exchange editor is becoming. slightly
impatient.
t.ih soiiiliiu(o " pp)h, ODStINcS LuU
fiena who comes next, sin tho preparation of
which | make usc Of n great many news.
papers. would like to make an arrange
lncllt with you for the exchanges from the
principal cities after you have'-
"Wo don't make any arrangement of that
kind This isn't u news depot nor an intelli-
gcnce Office"
Can you tell mo wherc will bo likely to
get access 10 tho papers | wantt
'N on mag be able to find them at Wnks
& I'linkcm's advertising agency replies The
exchange editor YEARLY
y young nlan with u lavender nocktie and
n new suit Of broadcloth appears
81 should like to SEQ tho Minneapolis pa
pcrs Of yesterday" lie remarks.
WANTS TO SEE WHAT THEY SAID.
There is no difficulty in sizing up this
j, youth. He is from Minneapolis, was mar
ried the day before yesterday, has como to
Chicago on his wedding tour, as all Minnea-
/, politans do who can afford it, and he wishes
to sec what tho papers of his native city say
of tho wedding
Tho man who comes in every day for Tho
Jcrusalcmville Jumper and makes facetious
comment on tho weather or the latest police
mystery drops in about this time He is fol-
lowed few minutes later by q somewhat nm
gular but self possessed young woman, who
contributes to the cookery department of The
Passamaquoddy Banner of Liberty. She is
out west on visit and would like to see a
copy Of tho paper She is directed to Winks
& Binkcms.
A young man, attired in suit of loud
checks and stripes and wearing his hat on ono
side, comes i'll with a shifting and sore eyed
pug dog.
"Iiave you any English sporting papers2n
is his inquiry. "Or, maybe you can tell me
what want to know. I've got bet up
what year was it that Yankee Sullivan and
Tom Hyer"-
Don't know anything about it. Sporting
editor is in the room at the farther end Of the
hall"
a wild looking man i'll search of the city
editor wan.lers into the exchange EDITORS
room and inquiries in menacing tone If the
fellow who wrote up that shooting scrape in
Barney McGan's saloon last night is about
tho office. While lie is waiting for the city
editor or reporters to appear he sits down
and looks over the exchanges
There is no escape from the exchange f1end.
Remorseless, implacable, and inevitable as
tho swarthy orange pcddlcr from sunny
Italy, he will mount to tho top floor of the
tallest building if necessary and make his
way into tho most secluded room thereon,
to worry the life out of his victims, and
slowly but surely he is furrowing their faces
with wrinkles, broadening the expanse Of
prairie on their domes of thought, and bring
ing their svering hairs in sorrow to the
tonb.-Chicago Tribune
How Uncle Sam" Got His Name.
The term came into use in the war of 1872,
AMI originated at Troy, N. Y The govern
,nent inspector there was Samuel Wilson, uni
versally known as Uncle Sam Whenever