The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-21

CONTINUED at the old stand--the
balky horse.
CAPITAL is timid, which accounts for
its scarcity.
THE air Of the desert-"The camels
are coming"
Ir doesn't seem possible that Gen.
Crook can be straight in his dealings
with the Indians.
JOHN l.. SULLIVAN is the champion
ring fighter; and there is no bottle
holder equal to him ither.
The skeleton of the "Dime Museum"
is like Napoleon at Waterloo. He Is
the bony part of the show.
MAMMA, if You had three twins, what
would you call them - troublets?"
"Yes, dear. / think l would"
DIFFERENCE between ship and
street sprinkler-one walks the water
and the other waters the walk.
WHAT will yoa call your new Jour-
nal?" "The POST Wherefore the
Post?" so the public can tie TO it. F"
JONES blowing a cloud of smoke
into the air)-I am very fond of a good
cigar. Mrs. Jones-Then for gracious
sakes get one.
Mrs. ScRAGGs, hand me the butter,
please" "Mr Darringer, it's exhaus-
ted" why YOU surprise me | Thought
il was strong enough to last a long
while"
MAUD-So you are going to marry
your fathers cashier? Isabella-Yes.
Pa says that if he runs away with the
bsnks's funds, the money will still be
in the family.
Mrs. FIGG-John, there's a long red
hair on your shoulder. And your
sleeve is ripped, too. Mr.. Figg
put the hair on there myself so you'd
notice the ripped place.
John, this is very bad report you
| ring me from school. Il know, faith
or. but You know you said if / would
fring You first-class report, Won would
give me dollar, and / wanted to save
yOu that expense"
AIs THERE anything / can do for You ?"
fsked Mrs. Cumso, tenderly, when her
husband was suffering from seasick-
ress. what do you want 2" II want
the earth, gasped Cumso, as he again
leaned over the rail
ROYALTY MORALIZES.
'Tis said his Nobs, the Prince of Wales.
Went up the Effe Tower
And ut the top he moralized
(Or so we thinkl-on power.
Alas :" he said. and his remark
Is cynical IN dryness
"Mine Ia the hghness OF mite;
But this Is mighty highness."
philadelphia Press.
HAD row over at your house last
night, didn't you, old man?" "Oh no;
not at all. Why do You ask 2" Thought
i heard n commotion." "Ah, l see
You heard my wife inquiring why l
came home SO late. That was all l
assure you.
HUsBAND-What does the paper say
about the big fire of last night? Wife
reading the morning paper)-It says
the boiler burst, aud then the scene
that followed bailled description. Hus-
band-Is that all? Wife-No; two
columns of description follow that.
OLD schoolmate meets Thompson,
whom he has not seen for several years.
old friend-By the way, old man, how
did your scheme of marrying so you
Could nave someone TO talk 10 pan
out? Thompson-Not so we'll You
see that's what she married for too.
INvIDIoUs: Mendicant entering
merchants office)-You haven't got
such thing as pair of old trowsers,
have YOU" Mr.. Closeshavc- I
don't keep my wardrobe in my count
lighthouse, anyhow. Mendicant Where
do you live, and I'll call around in the
morning for the old pair you have on.
HUsBAND-So that rumor about Miss
Giddygirls clipping with young Fether-
down, is false. They are to be married
within q month. Wife lin consternation)
Is that so? too bad; / suppose we
shall have to give Miss Giddygirl
wedding present, now she gave rs one,
You know. Are you sure it is only
rumOr!