davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26
ALAS

ALAsi
/ had told her that I loved her,
She had whispered me the same;
Then in innocent Irritation
I was caught The climax came.
She demanded back her letters:
And my mind is in a whirl,
For by some mistake sent her
Letters from another girl.
MAINE, Iowa and Kansas are said to
use up more cloves than any other
three States in the Union. The area
suitable for Glove cultivation is very
limited, as they require a peculiar kind
Of soil; and if prohibition ever becomes
a United States law they viii become
worth their weight in gold.
WARS the occasion ?" queried the
tramp as he came to a dozen or more
carriages before a home on Fourteenth
avenue. Funeral, answered one of
the drivers. "Old or young ?" Baby,
believe" Good! 1 struck an old man
out here for a quarter the other day, and
1 was afraid the shock had killed
him
The following squib has its moral:
Talk about wives, said Farmer Haw-
buck. "I've got one wife in a million.
Why, she gets up in the mOrnin',
niIks seventeen COWS, and gets break
fast for twenty hardwOrkin' men by six
o'clock" "She must be a very robust
woman, Hawbuck," remarked one of
his hearers. "On the contrary, put in
the farmer, she is pale and deikit-
like. Gosh, eff that woman was strong,
1 dunno what work she couldn't do"
A GOOD work: $50 this is where
Congress sits ?" said a travelling man
who was going through the United
States Capitol for the first time. eyes, ;"
was the reply; "you want to take off
your hat when you come in here. ;"
Take off my hat, what for ?" "Out Of
great work they are doing" "What
great work did they do last session %
"Why-er. Why, they adjourned.
$50 they did, >" said the traveller, IN
covering his head, $50 they did.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26
LIGHT MOODS

6oNe Of the drygoods clerks Swing
ing in delaine.
SARAH BERNHARDE on foot is con
tinuaI walking match.
WE should be good to our Indian
proteges. They are our kind red.
IT is reasonable to suppose that some
trees are very old, especially those that
produce chestnuts.
WHEN an orator becomes a great gun
IN his own estimation he Is apt to be
good deal Of q smOoth-bore IN the esti-
nation of others.
ASK permission of a penurious man
TO interview him for the benefit Of some
charitable object and the chances are
he viii not give assent.
TIE roona was dark, the maiden Rose
To fetch match she said
But he persuaded her TO stay
And make match instead.
THERE are small insects that re-
sembIe baseball players, Inasmuch rs
they are liable to go out on fowls.
They are liable to make short stop on
bats.
Could "the father of his county
see how the stars in the field on our
flag have increased from thirteen to
fOrty-twO he would be surprised at the
growth of his family.
KEEP way from dat niger, I tell
you" said Uncle RUDE to his sable
daughter. He's like wot John de Bah
tbs lived on" Flows dat?" she asked.
Low Gus an wild, honey" was the
reply.
ONE HUNDRED years ago New Jersey
was a frontier State. It is so still
when you take into consideration the
size and savagery of the wild game.
Where can the Jersey mosquitoes peer
be found?
AT the theater: BIobson Crising ex-
citedly)-DOwn with that red umbrella
in front! Mrs. BIobson drawing him
back)-For mercy's sake, hush up!
That amt an umbrella. It's new
spring hat.
AT a recent examination of girls for
the rite Of confirmation, in answer to
the question: "What is the outward
and visible sign and form of baptism %
the reply was: "Please, sir, the
baby"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

81 see" remarked Mr.. Phunnyman again
''that the great powers are making a meal
Of Africa GIN what way?" 'FWhy, they
have swallowed nearly all of her territory,
but the Sahara, and Turkey wants to gObbie
that" ''Wants the Sahara, what for?''
'Desert?'
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

Our greatest hold on happiness, IS to
tread firmly and faithfully In the path
Of duty; knowing and practically sub
hitting to the knowledge that in seem
ING loss IS sometimes the greatest gain
s1r u.s.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

Kentuckiau: ''Sir, I come of heroic stock.
Ny father, grandfather, and greaJ-grand-
father all died with their boots on
0CtOgenaTian hRngman at the other end
of the bar: fsFact, sir, hung 'em myself. -
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

Is it probable that what a million women
say after daily trial is mistake? They say
they kT3Os1 by test that Dobbins' Electric is
FsOSt economical, purest and best. They
have had q years to try it. You give It one
trial.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

When you feel like calling a big man
uaF, be sure you are right then use the
kelephOne.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

If every man refrained from marrying
until he owned a house. this world would
become a wilderness of cranky old bach
elOrs.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

tell you that you can not live two days"
Patient: Chats gosh Carned bad news.
doctor. Why, there's barrel of the best
rye ever drank IN the cellar, sab, and not
half gone-not half gone, sab"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

High water Is reported from Connecticut.
The oyster farms of that state are all mum
dated AS Connecticut oysters cannot
swim, grave results may follow.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

When you see a man consuming cucum-
Der, you can risk a small bet on his being a
pains-taking fellow.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

Women are safe from pick-pockets so
long as they do not carry their purses In
their hands.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

Did you ever know, asked a gentle
man at the Union League Club ban
quet, shat Hannibal Hamlin once
served this government in a dual ca
pacity, holding a position near the top
Of the ladder and another near the bot
tom at one and the same time ?"
The reporter admitted that he had
never heard of the incident.
well, he did, " said the club man.
while he was Vice-President of the
United States he served for time as a
private in the volunteer army. Queer
idea, wasn't it? I'll tell you how it
happened
You see, he was an honorary member
of a little company of militia in Bangor,
Ne, and when Lincoln issued his call
for troops, it promptly responded and
came to Washington. There it was
ordered to the navy yard to do guard
duty, and to the surprise of every one
Mr.. Hannlin announced his intention to
go with it. The officers rather rebeIled
at the idea of having a Vice-President
under them, but Mr.. HaInlin was de-
termined.
Why not p he asked. IF Pm a good
enough man to be an honorary member
Of the company, I guess I am good
enough to be private
sand he shOuldered a gun and went
with them. Well. at the navy yard
there were, of course, more compIica-
tions. The officers decided that it would
not do to put the distinguished private
on guard duty, but he objected again,
and pertinentIy inquired:
What am here fOr-to look
pretty?'
"And the result was that he marched
up and down as a sentinel in his regular
turn. Odd, wasn't it? Imagine the
Vice-President of the United States re-
ceiving orders from a sergeant of a mil
tia company.
Then when the company was mus
tered out he was offered the regular
pay of a private for the time he was at
the navy yard, but declined to ac-
cept it.
fWhy?' he was asked. You served
with the rest of US.
" Well, he said, 7 don't think it's
right for a man to draw pay twice from
the government, and taking all things
into consideration, I believe I'd rather
draw the Vice-President's salary F"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

The white horse is reddy for service when
ever the lady wants to ride him.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

The cucumber does its best fighting af-
ter it is down.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

EARLY In the century experimenters
tried to magnetic iron and steel by
the action of light, but such q thing
has since come to be regarded as i'm
possible. Prof Shelford BidweII
thinks, however that some evidence of
the action of radiation upon the mag
netism Of the iron should be found, and
he is seeking it. A soft iron God mag
aetized and then demagnetizsd is
known 20 have undergone some uys-
terioUs change of structure, making It
peculiarly susceptible to magnetic IN
duences IN one direction. 1T appears
also to be remarkably sensitive to
illumination, and In mr. BidWeiFs pre-
hminary researches the magnetometer
has seemed to indicate that the effects
may be not entirely due to heat, but
partially TO the Light rays.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

For Constipation or Sick Headache, use
Dig. Pierce's Pellets; purely vegetable. One
9 dose.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

We recommend 'Tansill's Punch'' Cigar.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26

Sambo-"NOw where all dem Ornary
dawg catchas? Dey's jist like de good
fer nuthin' perleece ;nebber 'roun when
dey's needed!"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-26
Oar GlE
Kitty Is witty,
Gettie - pretty,
Latte Is cuts and EInsifs
Ers1e % G queen,
annette Is q pet,
Eell IS the belle Of the bsiLs
Dl6Gtna Is wealthy,
Bertha Is healthy.
And health Is best oE an.

NS-ASee +i7t-lli- Ae6 k5 ElE rosy ana RADIANT
beautiful and blooming. sensible and sweet
= Is secured by wholesome habits and the
Hse Of DE. Pierce's Favor1te Prescription.
Bertha takes Is, and shs also takes the
GAZE" The only guaranteed cure for those
distressing ailments peculiar to women. Sat
isfactiOn OK your money returned.
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08
Sunday for Railroad Men.

Two Of the great railroads of the coun-
try are taking measures to secure Sunday
rest for their trainmen. For many years
Sunday has been great day for moving
freight trains. Tracks were compare
lively free from passenger trains that
day, and the freights had clear field.
Competition was SO sharp between the
various roads that that road Jared best
which could move the most freight the
quickest. Consequently freight trainmen
generally had Sunday about the hardest
day in the week.
Now there is a prospect for a change.
The Pennsylvania road has issued an
order that considerable number of its
freight trains shall cease to run on Sum
day. The New York Central road has
gone even further. April 2S its Sunday
order went into effect. On that line and
its branches no freight is offered OF ac-
cepted during the twenty -four hours be-
ginning at 9 o'clock Sunday morning,
with the exception of live stock and per-
ishable goods. The number of Sunday
freight trains is thus reduced rs per cent.
on these roads.
Trainmen on Mr.. Depew's road and OF
the Pennsylvania too viii have time to
take o bath and Sunday morning nap
like their employers.
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08
FOUR NEW STATES.
South Dakota, North Dakota, Mon
tana, Washington.

On February -, 1889. the President signed
the bill creating South Dakota, North Dako-
Ia, Montana and Warrington states of the
Union.
SOUTH DAKorA.-'che great prairie state, to
which the st: Paul. Minneapolis 4 Manitoba
railway has three main lines reaching Ellen
dale, Aberdeen, Huron, WATERFOWL, and
Sioux Falls. Go to South Dakota via the ST.
Paul, Minneapolis & Manitoba railway and
route.
hard Scotch fife wheat; whose healthful eli
mate nurtureS the most vigorous and brainy
civilization on earth; where single counties
raise more wheat, oats and barley than entire
states; the soil of whose fertile prairies is
richer than the valley of the Nile; where the
Turtle mountain, Minot and Devils lake land
districts invite the home seeker to secure
free home. Magnificent daily train service
to Fargo, Grafton, Devils Lake, Bottineau
and all other Important places.
Observation-Disclosures in its mines of pre-
cious metals; wealth in it's 4,G03Gs0 head of
live stock; profit in its fertile fields, produc-
ing larger yield of crops than any other
state or territory; the richest country per
universal; which has the best paid labor in
the world; u balmy winter climate, caused
by warm winds from the Pacific, I'll" St.
Paul, Minneapolis 4 Manitoba railway IS the
only raiIroSi passing through a con: tnuaus
agricultural country from st Paul anu Min
neapolis to The Rocky mountains. 1t runs
acres of land, free to settlers, in the Milk
river valley. Wood. water aud coal III ;,bun-
dance; no irrigation required; the ouly line
passing through Great Falls with its 100 tOQ
horse power r:taracts; immense coal veins,
and surrounding farming country of free
land; through Helena, the capital city and
q commercial center Of Montana, and Butte.
the richest mining camp on earth, to San
Francisco by the Columbia river valley,
Portland and Shasta Route, or Ogden, Utah,
to California points. Remember this is the
only line running dining cars, sleeping cars
and free colOnist sleepers of its own from st.
Paul and Minneapolis to Great Falls, Helena
and Butte. 1t is also the shortest line to
Butte.
WAsHINGToN.-The country of tall timber,
indented by Puget Sound, the Mediterranean
of the Pacific. Do not forget that the St.
Paul, Minneapolis & Manitoba railway is the
only line which offers a choice of three routes
to the Pacific coast. The Manitoba Pacific
route is the only line by which passengers Ell
route for Tacoma, Portland and San Frencisco
can pass through Fort Townsend ana Seattle.
Free colonist sleepers run through without
change or delay. Distance to the Pacific
coast is same as by other lines, but prices of
tickets are five and ten dollars less. Take the
Seattle route.
For further information, maps, rates and
publications in regard to the resources OF the
four new states, write to F. l. Whitney,
gen. pass. and ticket agent, St. p, II. & NJ.
Ry., st. Paul, Mimi.
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08
The Strawberry Boom.

The main strawberry crop of the south
begins to open late in February. By the
middle Of April it is at its height In
Louisiana. By that time it begins to be
tolerably plentiful in the markets Of the
northern cities. In these days of rapid
transportation the strawberry crop is be-
coming large interest in the south.
Louisiana is the state whence the largest
shipments come north. The crop this
year has been larger than it ever was be-
fore there. From the 18th to the nth of
April from one railway station in the
parish of Tangipahoa 1,s40 bushels of
berries were shipped. Some of these
berries measured over four inches in di-
ameter. Until within few years straw
berry culture was never attempted on a
large scale In Louisiana.
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08
HlBBARD's RHEUMATIC SYRUP,

Containing POKE, BURD0CK, MANDRAKE,
CULHERS R00T, and others of the best
Blood Remedies, very carefully and scien-
tifcaiy compounded, strikes at the root OF
the evil and eradicates the disease, whether
of Scrofuious, Rheumatic or Synthetic
Tnint. It is never failing remedy.
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08

Minneapolis and Duluth
property to exchange for
farms, by I. Ell. Wellington.
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08

pellers Of naval vessels against the at
tacks Of submerged craft. The work OF
constructing the new appliances had been
pushed forward as fast as possible, but
90 far only one of these had been finished
and attached to man-of-war.
The Llangaron was a recently built
ironclad Of the same size and class as
the Adamant; and to her had been at
tached the new stern defense. This was
an immense steel cylinder, entirely
closed, and rounded at the ends.' It was
about ten feet in diameter, and strongly
braced inside. Il was suspended by
chains from two davits which projected
over the stern Of the vessel. When sail
ing this cylinder was hoisted up to the
davits, but when the ship was prepared
for action it was lowered until it lay,
nearly submerged, abaft of the rudder.
In this position its ends projected about
fifteen feet on either side of the propeller
blades.
twas believed that this cylinder would
effectually prevent crab from getting
near enough to the propeller or the rud-
der to do any damage. It could not be
torn away as the stern jacket had been,
for the rounded and smooth sides and
ends Of the massive cylinder would offer
no hold to the forceps of the crabs; and,
approaching from any quarter, it would
be impossible for these forceps to reach
rudder or screw.
The syndicate's little feet arrived in
British waters late in the day; and early
the next morning it appeared about
twenty miles to the south of the Isle Of
Wight, and headed to the northeast as If
it were making for Portsmouth. The
course of these vessels greatly surprised
the English government and naval au-
thorities. It was expected that an at
tack would probably be made upon some
comparatively unprotected spot on the
British seaboard, and therefore on the
west coast of Ireland and in st. Georges
channel preparations of the most for
midabIe character had been made to de-
fend British ports against Repeller No.
II and her attendant crabs. Particularly
was this the case In Bristol channel,
where large number Of ironclads were
stationed, and which was to have been
the destination of the Llangaron if the
syndicates vessels had delayed their
coming long enough to allow her to get
around there. That this little feet should
have sailed straight for Englands great
naval stronghold was something that the
British admiralty could not understand.
The fact was not appreciated that it was
the object Of the syndicate to measure
It's strength with the greatest strength
Of the enemy. Anything less than this
would not avail its purpose.
Notwithstanding that SO many vessels
had been sent to different parts of the
coast, there was still in Portsmouth har-
Dor large number Of war vessels of va
rious classes, all in commission and
ready for action. The greater part of
these had received orders to cruise that
day In the channel. Consequently 1t
was still early in the morning when
around the eastern end of the Isle of
Wight there appeared a British feet COM
posed Of fifteen of the finest ironclads,
with several gunboats and cruisers. and
number of torpedo boats.
[To BE Continued
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08

THE BRITISH CAPTAIN DESTROYING HIS
OWN SHIP.
When the calculations had been made
and the indicator set, the captain was
shown the button he must press, and
stood waiting for the signal he looked
over the sea at the Craglevin, which had
settled little at the stern, and was roll
ing heavily, but she was still magnif1-
cent battle ship, with the red cross Of
England floating over her. He could
not help the thought that If this motor
mystery should amount to nothing, there
was no reason why the Craglevin should
not be towed into port, and be made
again the grand war ship that she had
been.
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08

Six weeks since was attacked with Erysipelas;
INV ewes were nearly closed my head and face terri
hay inhamed. Two bottles of Hibbard's Rheumatic
S9xup cured me- B. r. KNAPP, Wocott, N. Y.
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08

It often happens in Great Britain that
electors have great difficulty in finding
q candidate for the house of commons.
Members Of this body serve without pay,
and only men of means can afford the
honor. In case of necessity perhaps we
could spare the British few candidates
from the Unitcd Stables.
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08
from the diary of tourists
commercial travellers,
business men and Others
N(|I|1F'g,

M0NT1r from the diary Of tourists
MlfTH commercial travellers,
uUluU business men and Others
has revealed:
That the Wisconsin Central has the
unqualified endorsement of all;
That the Wisconsin Central has to-day
the most popular line between Mime
apolis, st. Paul and Milwaukee and
Chicago;
That the Wisconsin Central is dialy
adding to its admirers as the recognized
Pullman line between Minneapolis,
st. Paul and Milwaukee and Chicago;
That the Wisconsin Centred touches the
most prominent points in Wisconsin,
and that it has more impo rtant business
centers ON its through line than any
other railway in the Northwest;
That the Wisconsin Central has made
an enviable reputation with Its peer
| less Dining Car Service;
That the Wisconsin Central runs fast
| trains on which all classes of passen-
| gers are carried with commodious and
distinct accommodation for all;
That the Wisconsin Central has repre-
sentatives distributed throughout the
country, who will cheerfally give any
| information that may be desired and
| that its terminal agents are especially
Instructed to look after the comfort of
passengers who may be routed via its
line.
For detailed Information, apply to
your nearest ticket agent or to represen-
tatives of the road.
WIN, S. MELLRN, JAMES BARKER,
Genl Manager, GENT Pass. & Ticket st
MILWAUKEE.
F. II. ANSON, Northwestern Passenger
Agent, No. 10 NfeoGet House Block, Mime,
apolis, MINI.
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08

eW For information in reference to
Lands and Towns owned by the CHICAGO
PANY, write to III. e.. HAUGAN, Land
Commissioner, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Morris tribune., 1889-05-08

Is the result of an impure condition of the
blood, and for cure depends, primarily,
upon the condition of the stomach, liver
and kidneys, and, secondarily upon the
condition Of the blood as manufactured BY
these ORGANS.
Wichita eagle., 1889-12-29
IYNN-vIEW FRoM rHE HousEToPs.


Londoners. had just ceased its ravages when
the fire came, and, like that of Rome, it led
to persecUtion-this time of the Catholics.
Many an antiquarian has mourned the loss of
ancient landmarks, and many a tourist ask
ing for some old site or building receives the
answer: "Ah, all knowledge of it was lost in
the great fire. but it proved the salvation
of London. The narrow, crooked and sewer
less streets were never restored, the new city
was built in four years and far better built;
the plague has never returned, and the
"blessing in disguise" is conmemorated by a
beautiful monument.
AS previously noted, it is somewhat anus
ing to read in popular American works of
some fifty years ago that ''there is no danger
of any such fires" as those of Rome and Lon
don now. True, there has never since been
SO complete a destruction as that of London,
for five-sixths of that city within the wallis
were destroyed; but the city contained but
200, goo people, and certainly held less wealth
than is now piled up in the lower quarter of
New York city. A city was wiped out, but
the losses would not compare with those at
Chicago; the sad fact is forced upon us
that modern fires arc far more destructive
In 1865 Portland, Me-, advertised that, in
honor of the triumph of the federal armies and
resulting peace and prosperity, she would
celebrate the 4th of July with extraordinary
eclat, ''closing with the most brilliant illu-
mination ever shown in New England" and
she certainly had it, for one-third of the city
was ahlaze before morning, at a cost vari-
ously estimated at from 100000 TO $780,