New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-02-07
THE TALK or THE DAY

The coarse strain in English character IS shown IN
the fact that London conecuoners are selling knives
Of sugar which they call " Jack the Ripper
=. Pride Fri Of statiOnIPrlma Donna tproudy)rf that
queen Of the operate stage has desire 10 associate
Mad-Itis not the prince, madam; It is a soap
"ohl Admit bm1-(New-York Weekly.
Six hundred and fifty students Of the University Of
michigan are members Of Republican club which IS
~ DC permanent organization.
"A Funny Mans Trouble.-Edtor-Mr. Funnyman
y SouI humorous department Is not half so bright and
Mr. Fanny@anSo SIR IRE NV wv bea RGsr ali aab but
~ W Sirsid ~ have to give up humorous work
amhdb the materP
Wen, SIR, got married some mon tbs ago. and now
mnen PRINT Joke about wives my wife thinks ID
mofbsr c nor, ana ! mention motherin,lsw her
one OF my wifes brothers Is plumber another Is an
zee nan, and the other coal dealer and has
haLDr0her who IS book agent. and they're all big
men WIN ugly tempers. II you don't mind I'D like to
re eIi from the humorous department and take
position as obituary editor Philadelphia Record.
Minneapolis paper IS discussing the propriety Of
knee pants' for evening dress.
The free air of this land OF OURS works wonders.
10 helps pretty nearly every case. however hard
we confess II has been failure with Professor Goodwin
smith, who IS what Charles Reade used 10 describe
as Grass cricaster. and quite as incurabe now AZ
when he vexed the soul Of Matthew ATnold's friend
nerr Arminus van Thunder Tronckh.-(sp
They say that Bouianger IS great political actor,
but there is ground for the suspicion that he docs noe
always know his lines.
THE BURGLE SONG.
(Not by TennysOnD
Nights shadow falls on villa walls
ladders up 20 the top story
Inc host, sans quakes, HIS dinner takes,
The Rodern burglars in his glory,
GO, burglar 60. bedroom windows trying
Co. burglar handy Jenny plying, plying, plying
Oh; bark Oh heart They're reused fear
From dinner, and must be going
The door we bar Wen be afar
Ere they succeed the gaf in blowing
60! DON'T you hear sire shouting, replying.
Go, burglar, 60, down the ladder flying, Aging dying
Oh hang It! Why will the fool try
To run me down? He's too dashed clever,
COnfOund his soul! That bullet hole
VIII stop his little game forever.
Go. burglar, CO. like the dickens flying,
And lie there, pucky citizen, dying, dying, dying
London Punch
Tho unwonted headline "A Husband-Bester in
Court" has been appearing in the papers Of this city,
Evidently the cause of woman IS advancing
Glad to see Him. IT TO that your face
is familiar" said the hoOw-eyed cOnsumpuve who
was spending a season the Southern waterng-plaoe
hotel and mineral springs resort. Are you not from
Yes replied the sallow lantern-iawed dyspepttG
81 am the Editor Of the Banktown sure Guide to
HEALTH
skecton.-(ChcagO Tribune.
Christian scientist Of Sharon Penn, has discarded
her false teeth because she says that her faith viii
cause new natural teeth 10 grow We next expect to
hear of a man with wooden leg looking for the
growth Of the leg that cut off through the opera
ton of faith.
The New-Ycrk Tribune says the King OF SPAN VIII
soon be old enough TO play with the good niue plys
next door, and break all their paythings by virtue OF
his divine right" II the good little boys next door
possess the spirit Of the good little nextdoor boys IN
America they will break the head Of the King OF SPAN
by virtue Of their divine strength before he breaks al
THAR play thn:s.-lNOrriStOwn Herald.
bill has been introduced in the Kansas Legislat-
ure appropratlng money for drilling four deep holes in
the ground TO see what can be found"
IaborSaving Device.-Mamma-Wh are you
sticking pin into your German book, Elsie!
Elsie-Why, the dnner-bell has rUng. mamma, ana
wanted to remember where 1 left off looking Tor mo
verb in this sentence.-( burlington Free Press