Daily Republican., 1889-09-19
AifKTu AND nIEKKIMENr.
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D Alberto, "po yon love me, darlipe?"
lSd r. saes ssS q tssI si' chairs
vssnsjs Ss.a s.t oR:sRg asi'ss:ly sl Ssgy,,:s: an;
bridsssooa Say pfSnpsd Wv
Scientist Cin festaursnt), "Bring me o
decoctioh Of burnt peas, sweetened with
glucose and whitened with chalk and
Water" Waiter (sociferously), "Coffee
for onep'
Domestic (who has been catechIs'ng
prospective mistress): "Well. Mrs.
Sharply, you have rather bad name
among the girls in the town, but OF think
I'll give you try"
Charlie (with Sunday school book)
Il say, papa, what Is q martyrl" Papa
Cautiously: "Don't aek such questions
now, my child. Wait until you are old
enough to be married"
Employer: "You say that your habits
are all correctp Applicant: "Yes, SIR
Employer (after a moments pause)
"Do you drink" Applicant (absent
minded): Thanks; don't care If do. u
az wish to propose for the hand of you,
daug ghter" (Which of them, young
manf' Which of them? Well, 1 don'i
know. Now, in confidence, which O.
them would you advice fellow to takel'
Flossy: "Oh, mamma, zee that mar
wheeling baby carriagel don't thinl
ence, you must not talk SO foolishly
You will think differently when you
grow up"
He: "What do you think OF this fat
OF having the hand photographedW She
81 think pretty girl can have her haut
taken without going tU the photograph
er's, II she gets some one that way o
thinking"
"MA," said Bobby. ais It wrong for 1t
| tie boys to tie tin kettles to doea' tails?'
"Decidcily wrong, Bobby; hope you'll
never do such thing as that" "No
indeed, ma" replied Bobby, emphatical
ly; "all ! do is TO hold the dog.
Daughter, aged thirty-ive facetiously
| Papa, found II dozen gray hairs ia my
head thiI morning and pulled them out
Don't you give me away, though.
Father, signing heavily: "Glve you
away, Emilyl I've abandoned all hop,
OF H."
We tern Belle: "Charley called on n,
again last night" Mr.. Siowlov,: "Did
| he say anything about III :" Yes, Ia;
wanted TO know If you intend to PROPOSE
to me. II you do not, he has something
lie wants to say" she gained her poinf
aud has now got him.
Says newspaper: "However cold th,
correspondence may appear at first sight
there's one advantate in writing Low,
| lati NJ a u ri tar tn -
pen. A fellow can get much hetl,
idea OF how his letters are going to lool
10 print WHEN ths uGwslapers report hi
trial for breach OF prom se.'
"Let us not waste our time. yelltd
the temperance lecturer "Let US no
waste our time In deslng with the Sun u
saloons and grog shops. Let us go t,
the founti iin-t cad Let us GO 10 thu
ioupt in-Eead Let us go to tie brew
sry," my friends" IAN right" chime
In an old soaker from back seat, "I'n
with yon."
Some strolling Thespians were ono
playing fMacbet'." lu country town
Their prop rites were not kept in yer
'ematic order, fer whgn the here q
Shakespeare's drama exclaimed: "ls tli
IL dagger VIII ch see before m,r' athr..
voice responded from the flies: "Nu, sii
it's the putty knife; the degger's lost"
Mr.. Leach: al only call,d, Miss Gay
some, 10 apologize Tor disappointing yC
last evsniI g-uut really l couldn't iii
time To come. hope" Mics Gas
some: "Don't speak OF 1t OF all, Mi
Leach. We never thought of it TIL att
the c0mIauy lett, when pa noticed thu
the d,canter on the sideboard had some
thing leit In IT,"
A novel mode Of advertising for vii
was aioptcd by an inhabilant OF pre-
vinc'al town. A photograph OF the ger
tlrman was placed iu the window OF
sho, keeper, and underneath the follow
ing noti,e: "Wanted, female CON
panioa TO the abovc. Apply at tt
Office" Tho result was appalling. |
less than halt an hour 958 applicants ha
called.
Grigsley (after offering his box 10 Wi
kins, aud both have lighted their cghls)
81 like 10 lie back on an easy chair l!k
this, Wilkins, and forget the cares oi tn
day. What a solsce is u good ci. ar! Sc
thLti How pleasing life looks throue
an azuIe cloud OF iiavansl We've moth
ing 10 conplain OF, | should say. WI
l5ins." Wilkins: "Nolhing, unless It
the cigars"