Telegram-herald., 1889-12-22

played ab0us rs parpls bughe. TIE
n-3slr1ers rras 90 = chssrlsss lam 1sE
wage. an1 ItEle frazeu fsthsrless o1tl-
area sith green BED quits ever t1eir
saiver-ng Euess helped - hsis sesen EEs
gloo@-
hou di1erent tr0m TIE cheering 80
ei4ble, basiness-lise sir of f4nsrsl On
Braedsay saw oEe n9E long sgo ca
thzt street an1 m4ds . minsts q it
~hile attending ny regular eloe6a1s
be-o- Fulson street., Ia fact / made SIX
~ Uinates OF e before I got tnF0nga-
z his = the order of the procession
Hears containing deceased aud
driven BY handsomely y-dressed coach-
ulan = DO sWsars Ia gentle manner a.
the truck drivers who ~ - delay tae
prose ssiOa byeoulng ia az Fulton street.
Hezrss occasionally gets Is wheels into
the slrset-car track and can uot get ouS
thouzh emitting lo~, guJ,erai sound.
Broad way car No COO driven by =
coarse nan With horn whistle han nay
doea his throaL he Is prevented from
swallowing tt 81 a stogt string connect
iag the whistle With his button hole.
H. Is heard ever aud anon ehlstllng az
the hsarse driver as Who should say,
Come, wake up, wake Up, don't delay
business
s-Carriago .ad Of mourners IN close
convey yance
Load os green hides and pelts
driven 5y profAne, self-msde man.
wearing a retired pol.ceman's helmet
and a. injured air, which latter Is also
shared by his cargo.
5-L0a1 ot IRON rails, hauled by four
large horses a1d driven BY deaf and
dumb gentleman who is not in any way
related 20 deceased.
Clam bake load OF excursionists
going over - Staten Island for painting
purposes, accom- panied by embryo Jags.
Close carriage containing other rel
atiyos OF deceased aud driven by d new
man, who IS not familiar with New York
CITY, having formerly driven a thrash
ing machine near Owatonna, Minn. He
knows that If he loses sight OF the hearse
he viii wander farther and farther away
from the grave. In tho meantime pro-
cessiOn OF Oyster Openers, headed by
German band, cuts in ahead Of him from
side street, and the pole OF an ice
wagon knocks q hole IN the back of his
carriage.
S-Ice wagon owned By the Hudson
River Microbe leo Company, and driven
By a man who has dosc timo az Marble
Warble-on-theH Hudson for beating down
a clothing man on the price Of an over
coat by means of a baseball bat.
9-Heavy truck, hauling consignment
OF Hmburgcr cheese for = down-t
house, driven hy a noselcss man who was
bitten by a warm personal friend during
the war.
Procession Of excursionists known
as the Mock Turtle Club, headed by drum
corps and followed by Christopher stree,
car No. 202, driven by man with ingrow-
ing mustache and dog-call whistle.
I1-Other mourners in open carriage,
smoking election CIGARS.
12 Salvation Army passing through
New York on its way to convert Newark.
1S-AmbUlance on its way to pick up
some mangled people who tried TO es-
cape from fre-proof building by
means of 2 fire-escape.
14-Parade by Knights OF Pythias
with drawn swords.
15-City officials with drawn salaries.
16-Milk wagon carrying pure country
milk and cream, accompanied by an oc-
casiOnal mufiled croak.
17-Other mourners in dog-cart read
ing evening papers.
1s-Load of baled hay driven by
scholarly-looking calored man, in high
hat and red flannel shirt.
19-Another and competing funeral
from the east side, which cut in at a
side street before the police could inter
fere.
2O-Balance Of original procession in
terlarded with horse cars, butcher carts,
beer wagons, cabs, profanity and rag
fanciers.
An unknown man can have bigger
and cheaper demonstration by dying in
New York than in any other place l can
at this moment call to mind. To die in
New York and get ono OF these funeral
demonstrations almost pulls the stinger
out of death.