The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-06-30
Mr.. AND MRS. BoWsER.

In Which aIrs. Bowser Comes to the
Front as Usual.
had caller the other afternoon when
Glr. Bowser came home, and after she had
gone he asked:
"How long was Mrs. Blank here7"
"About half an hour"
"And you talked about fashions, sup
pose"
"Yes, mostly; what should we talk aboutP
Mrs. Browser, did it ever occur to you
that there was anything in life beyond mil
inery and dress goods and dressmakersP
"Howg"
"Howl Why select some subject of sense
art, science, mineralogy, the labor ques-
ton, or self government-and discuss it with
calmness and justice, and learn something
worth remembering for half an hour. You
women folks might as well have been born
with pumpkin on your shoulders in place Of
a head"
made no reply to this, but determined to
catch Mr.. Bowser in his own trap before the
week was out. Fortune favored me. 1t was
only two days before neighbor called over
as he was at work in the back yard, and for
two long hours those men sat down on lad
der and discussed the question whether back
gate should open inwards or outwards, and
the advantages offered by either situation.
Mr.. Bowser commended for the gate opening
outwards, and the neighbor for the opposite,
and the discussion resulted in Mr.. Bowser get
ting red clear back of the ears and jumping
up to exclaim:
well let's drop the subject right here.
There can be cranks on alley gates as well as
on politics and religion"
"And there can be lunatics outside of the
asylums," hotly replied the nejghbor.
Don't call me lunaticl"
"And don't you call me a crankl'
go home and hang your old gate to the
moon"
IN hang it according to the rules of COM
mon sense, and don't you forget it"
When Mr. Bowser came in to wash his
hands observed:
Mr.. Bowser, did it ever occur to you thaS
there was anything in life beyond hanging a
back gate|
He replied with ''humphr' of disgust.
Select some subj ect of sense, Mr.. Bowser
art, science, mineralogy, the labor question
or self government-andd discuss it with calm
ness and Judgment and learn something worth
remembering for half an hour"
He looked around in desperate, helpless
way, and put on his hat and went off with
out word in reply. wasn't going to let
him Off on that, however. When he came
home that evening had Mrs Orfendorf over
to supper, and as soon as we were seated at
the table queried:
Doesn't it strike you that Germany's poll
cy ON the Samoan question is one of concilia-
ton instead of aggression~
st certainly does" she replied, ''but there
may be a hidden motive behind this seeming
submission. Trace the record of the man
back as far as you WILL and his policy has
been either aggression or strategy"
Mr. Bowser looked from one to the other
of us in establishment.
81 notice" said l, as passed the biscuits
''that the Spanish colonial policy is working
towards q radical change. Incited by the
example of other and stronger nations, it is
about to extend its arms and enfold new pos
sessions"
The stare that Mr.. Bowser favored me with
made my flesh creep.
II do SO hope you can come down to the
next meeting of the WOman's Scientific, Po-
itcal and Literary club" said Mrs. Orfen-
dorf, as she toyed with her Strawberries
Those gatherings are very, very interesting.
At our last meeting we discussed the Drift
Period and at the one next week we shall
discuss Two Proposed Amendments to the
Constitution of the United States"
"Oh, I'd like to go ever SO much, and l
think l can promise you I will be there. Can
Mr.. Bowser come, tooP'
well, hardly. Men take such little inter-
est in such things that they are obstruc-
tons"
And Mr.. Bowser sat there, turning red and
by turns, until his chair grew so hot that
he had to pretend headache and get ex
cused anticipated an awful tragedy after
my visitor took her departure, but Mr.. Bow
ser contented himself with saying:
Snow that that shallow pated, long noss'I
old r~isance has finally taken her leave, let's
go to bed"
He regained his assurance after couple of
days, however Twas talking to our 2-year-old
baby, and talking as all mothers talk, when
Mr.. Bowser flung down his paper and ex-
claimed:
MRS. Bowser, you make me tired talking
70 that young I'm that way. No wonder so
many children grow up to be sap headed"
How shall l TALK"
Talk sense-the same as you would to an
adult He's old enough to understand, and l
DeueNe ne WILL apt)ISC+d1o H.
Every well; III try"
THANK you. It's more than expected
you'd d."
The trial came that night. We had scarcely
got to bed when baby awoke and began to
whine. He had got cold and was feverish.
Now, Harry" began, snug down and
try to go to sleep. It's nothing serious, and
object to being kept awake"
He howled more Justify.
my son." l continued, ''this exhibition
of ingratitude astonishes me, and l insist
that you change your course Of conduct at
once or leave my house. Filial respect, if
nothing"-
''What in thunder and blazes are you talk
ing aboutg" reared Mr.. Bowser, as he sat up
IN bed.
am talking sense to baby"
mot by jug full, you ANTI"
"Then you try il"
"rn try it by wringing his neck if he
doesn't shut off steaml He's bowling out of
spiteI"
''Then warn him that you may be COM
PEELED to infict due chastiseInent, but do it
calmly and dramatically"
az | |"
That's what Mr.. Bowser said as he jumped
out of bed and disappeared into the spare
room, and that was the last 1 saw of him IN
til morning.-Detroit Free Press
A Natural Inference.
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