Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-01
NE w.

Nature uses good many quills with which to make goose, but man can make goose of himself with only one.-Orchard and Gar. den.
 A man never knows what he can do until he tries; and then, afterward, he is often very sorry that he found out.-Somerville Journal.
 A tramp is sometimes called nomad and when farmers dog grabs him there's nomedder man in the ghborhood.-Norris. town Herald.
 A Natural Error. was Black Fridaya" Alfred-"Ho, ho, ho! When! You mean whoa He was a chum of Robinson Crusoe's-Life.
 In the Tailor's Shop-s'I am looking for @ fashionable overcoat." "All right, sir Will you have it too short or too longF"- Fliegende Blatter.
 By the way, just how does the law forbid ding the importation of laborers under.con- tract affect Americans who win wives abroads-Somerville Journal. Someone claims that ''nothing is absolute ly fre-proof." Well, if ashes are not fire proof, we don't know what proof you would want. .'-Yonkers Statesman. A big nose is a sign of inquisitiveness. A crooked nose is sign that your opponent in the argument the day before differed with you on some important point.-Somerville Journal.
 They have had some heavy spow storms in Canada already and the farms are all covered. Some are covered with snow and some are covered with mortgages. es.-Yonkers States man.
 An usher in Kansas church has turned out to be a burglar. His downfall probably dates from the time when he began putting strangers in pews where draught would strike them.-Chicago News. We note with some surprise that ouI friend, the Gazeta Polska W Nebrasoe takes this view: s'Takze zwyeajem jest u katoli- kow ezezegolnie unas Pa lakow zyczyc dru- gim szczescia blogoslawienstwa Boskiego, talk tez my zyczymy nie tylko naszym abon- entom, ale wszystkiem Polakom blogosla- Mienstwa Boskiego; acos zatem idzie, kazdy sic domysli." D" Scarcely any opinion is so ec- rentric as to find itself without sympathy, but, on the whole we think the sentiment of this country is against our esteemed contem- porary of the State of Nebraska.-The Sun. An Interesting Controversy. y.-Bobby- 'They were talking about you last night, Mr. Featherly." MT. Featherly-"Is that so,
 Bobbys" Bobby-"Yes; about your being homely enough to stop a clock" Mir. Feath. BobbyM"Ma.h MT. Featherly (much re- heved)-"Oh, your maj And what did your sister Clara sayaY Bobby-"She didn't think so." Mir. Featherly-sBless her
 h'm-er-did she think I was hondsome2'
 Bobby (hesitatingly)- -"Well-er-n-no; she
 said she didn't think you could stop clock,
 but she thought you might make it lose time very fast. ."-Harper's Bazar.
 Discriminating Benevolence-Solemn-- looking stranger-''Sir, am raising 8 fund for the purpose of instruoting the poor little
 newsboys aud bootblacks of our city in pal-
 monto1ogy and differential calculus. l am
 sure" Busy Merchant (without looking
 np)-"I've DO time to listen to you, sir.
 Here's dollar" Lady (timidly, some mo-
 ments later)-''I am soliciting money, sir, to
 pay the expense of a substantial Christmas
 dinner for the poor boys of the city--the
 nswsboys and ootblacks--"Busy Mer-
 chant Cooking up inipatiently)- Madam, l
 contributed dollar not five minutes ago for
 the benefit of those boys. Good morning" {"
 Bows her out. l-Chicago Tribune.
 In Q crowded street car well dressed and
 rather foppish-appearing young man sat be-
 side very shabbily dressed, tired looking
 workingmsn. Every seat in the car was taken.
 A woman got in. 'Now," whispered nor
 alizer to his small son, five shall find out who
 is the true gentleman" The poor working
 man and the richly dressed flop both saw the
 woman and the latter, hastening to rise, lifted
 his silk hat with his gloved hand and politely
 requested the woman to take his seat This
 fable teaches that man may occasionally be
 gentleman, to the infinite confusion of nor
 alizers, even though he be well dressed
 dude. It also teaches that the tired work
 ingman did quite right to keep his seat.-
 Buffalo Express.