Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-04-20
Saturday Smiles.

The Oklahma boomers carry their planting
tools with them-the rifle, the bowie and the
revolver.-ElHird Gdzette.
'Just see how those crows carry on" said a
man. looking at the antics of flock of the
birds.
Yes" replied another; "they are are carrion
crows."-Pthsburg Chronicle
"Dr Tanner was not the first man who lived
on water for forty days" said Smudge. "No?"
querled Fudge. "Of course not" Who else?"
We'll what's the matter with Noah?"-Sdn
Francisco Nelcs Letter.
What is a dude anyway? He is the graceless
son of Egotism and Stupidity; his sisters are
Vanity and Heartlessness. There is only one
thing to praise about him. and that is he lives
in harmony with the rest OF the family.-Te1ds
Sttlngs.
NOblesse Oblige-There's a good deal in
human nature after all. A dollar insurance
assessment Is a dollar insurance assessment ANY
way you look at it, but il does take several
cents worth of sting out of it when the Past
Grand Worshipful Exalted Treasurer merely
reminds his Worthy Grand Venerable Brother
that II is required of him by Royal Grand In
ternational Adullam Lodge, Venerable Mach
pelah Chapter, No. 29. Dear Sir-yours
truly" wouldn't fetch him half SO quick
Puck.
Outgrown.-"Mrs. Brown, I guarantee that
piece of goods to wash without shrinking
'Oh, you's slick-tongued huff! DENIS les
i ldee's
dress made on, an now look at ii, shrunk up
mos to her knees, when it nigh teched her
heels when made it,"
why really. don't remember ever selling
you such goods. Do you remember when you
'Lemme see-tink it was bout TO- yeas 90. !"
Hdrper's Bdzdr.
The Milwaukees are losing games con mr.
pose, SO that their winning of games after the
league season opens will be the more gratify-
ing by contrast. Let Us all hope that their
habit of losing will not be so much cultivated
as to become chronic. Milwaukee Wisconsin.
Mrs. Newhobbie-''My husband discovered
me praeticing my new physical-culture exercise
yesterday"
Mrs. Delsarte-"'He did? What did he say?"
Mrs. Newhobbie-He said: Great heavens!
Epilepsy Chicago Journal.
Not a Southern Man.-Stranger (reqding a
paper at the Continental WHO is this Major
Armes, who pulled Gov. Beavers nose at the
Inauguration? Is he a southern MANI"
Noted Southerner with disgust)-"Naw
Southern men, sah don't pull noses; they
shoot, sab. PHILADELPHIA Record.
Lives of cowboys all remind u
IL on earth we wish to stop,
We should leave them far behind us,
Or arrange TO get the drop.
-Chdntbersburg, Pa, Valley Spirit
How do you know that you will be able to
get a choice quarter-sectiOn in Oklahoma?'
asked the tenderfoot of the boomer.
Stranger" replied the latter, 'Tve been
shootin' at a mark half the day, and if you
don't think that I'm going to get a nice farm
you can go over and look at that mark for your
self Chicago Netcs.
IL IL fact worthy of note that all the women
elected To municipal Offices in Kansas this
spring wear Mrs" in front of their names. 1t
seems 10 require a matrimonial experience to
develop this governing instinct in women.-
Kansas CRY bidr.
a story il told Of colored preacher whose
church had become somewhat dilapidated
The minister succeeded al last in persuading
the people u dseora,e the walls. but funds gave
out and they loft a large recess behind the pull
pit uninpToysd. 1hs patience OF the preacher
gave way befors this svidsnes of want OF proper
respect for this church. aud at ths close OF his
sermon one Sunday morning he very solemnly
announced "Brsdsfab, notice L. hereby given
that the Gospel viileot he dispensed VII In dis
church any Inoa until this sbce.s behind de puI
pat II fricssseed. " Cigsstsdn Adcocais