Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1889-12-28
-uc,,eu COURT FOOLS.
sa..,m.r, of Their Wit Preserved b An
rient Chroniclcrs'

I
cient Chroniclers' ~
! Iobn Haywood was fool 10 Henry 10
having been introduced to the k'ng W
Sir Thomas Moro. Mary Tudor haa a
GREAT regard for Haywood, who induced
IN much audacious talk. Bold as were
his savings. few Of them appear why
A landlord asked him: 'llow 10 y ,o"
like nv beer? Is It not we'll hopp'u,
$50 we'll replied Haywood, that hau
4. bonnod \ little further 1t would nave
bopped into water" DR.. Doran' III MS
aHistory Of Court Fools gives several
snecimcns of Hcywood's rhymcd epi-
Grams. One of them is perhaps worth
transcribing; o1r
"Whcrc an l least, husband' Vuo'" nv
which cometh OF this, thou art venseaole
Wharf, an 7 biggest, wiicy IN the waist
too" quoth She;
For all is waste in YOU, rs TAR as eau s'''
Heywood was a devoted Cathol'c' anu
after Mary's death he took up his aoouo
in Mechlin and died there, lcsttng' IL -
said, with his last breath, Though
Elizabeth was so good a Protestant thaV
Heywood could not live near her court
she was so bad a Protestant rs to haIea
cruciix and lighted tapers IN her
private chapel, and Pace, her lcst-
or, was employed by Archbishop
Parker to destroy those obnoxious
ornaments in the Queens oratoFy'
Chester, another bulToon of that reign
was so scurrilous in his talk that SIR
Walter Raleigh and Lord Knollys made
him drunk and then had him built round
with masonry and only dcsistod from
roofing him in on his promising never
again to joke at their expense An
other gentleman whom he had abused
stopped his mouth by sealing his beard
and mustache together with wax. Elll-
abeth entertained many testers, who IN
their turn, entertained her: Clod, Iarlc-
ton and others. Her successor also had
official b~ulloons. Passing over the less
famous of those, we come to Archibald
Armstrong, one Of the most celebrated
fools on record. Armstrong was born in
Cumberland, and at a very early ago
entered the service Of James l., before
which he had been, tradition says, a
sheop-stealer. He went with Charles
and Buckingham on their secret matri-
monial expedition into Spain, lie sent
from thence a letter to the King, signed
by his mark, in which he asks James to
provide him with m interpreter OF the
Spanish language; he had an English
servant with him as valet. Archie
Armstrong contriyed to amass a large
fortune. or him it is written:
Archie, by Kings and Princes graccd Of late,
Tested himself into a fair estate
Archbishop Laud was the object of Ar
chie's deep dislike and some of his Bit
terest sarcasms. Flo once, in presence
of Charles l., asked leave, though Laud
was present, to say grace before dinner.
Permission being granted, tho jester
said: Great thanks be given God, and
little Laud to the devil" When Lands
anxiety to bring all Scotland into the
Episcopal Church had resulted in a very
serious opposition, Archie scoifcd at
Laud for his want of success, and, after
tho news of the rising at Sterling
against the Liturgy, he dared to accost
Laud, on his way to the council cham.
Der, with the question; "NNho's the
fool now?" This insult was too great;
the Jester was brought before thecomcil
and condemned to have his coat pulled
over his head, and to be banished the
court, which sentence was Immediately
executed. For all that, Armstrong did
not cease to revile the probate. -Cornhill
Magazine.