Morning journal and courier., 1889-11-30
SURE.

"She has Roman nose." "Well, I'm sure don't know whore she gets 1t. Her father was Swede and her mother was a Neapolitan. n."-Harper's Bazar.
 Mrs. Hollyhock-''I don't want anybody to stick "Sacred to the Memory of Betsy Holly- hook" on me when I'm gone; fer never hssred anything yit that didn't fergit it"- Harpsr's Bazsr.
 "You are regular mizer!" exclaimed Mrs. Shopper, when her husband refused to give her twenty five dollars she asked for. "No, not missr," replied Snsoper," merely an economizer. ."-Harper's Bazar.
 "Papa," said boy much given to read ing, "I have often seen the phrase. 'all right-thinking people, in the papers. What kind of people are right thinking psopleg' .'They are the sort of people," said the father, "who think as We do."-Yoath's s Companion.
 Young (but high priosd) physioian-"Yes, medical science has made great strides in tho last decade. The old and nonsensical prac- tice of bleeding patients, for instance, has bsen entirely done away with, and" Pa- tient (with groan)-"Not by long shot, it hasn't."-Lawrence American. Says the Journal of Education, ssShake hands with the children occasionally as you greet them in the morning, especially of a Monday morning." This preference for Mon. day morning is easily explained. The chil- dren's hands are, if ever, clean on the morn- ing following the Sunday washing.-Beston Transcript.
 Mrs. Jenkins-"Jamss, are you going to be out late at the lodge meeting tonight" Mir. Jenkins-"Yes, nay dear" Mrs. Jen. kins-"Well, then, take this Pigs in Clover puzzle; when you reach the door at G. m. /, having succeeded in working it out, sing cut, Some say Slippery Sam sold silvery sam- ples, two or three times. will then admit you to the inner circle. e."-Kearney Enter prise.
 He was tall, thin and hungry looking, and when he told the editor he was poet the editor didn't say disputatory word. But he didn't get his poetry in the paper, just the same, and the man with the blue pencil and the preeccupied air made several re. marks.
 "Poets are born, sirl" he said haughtily, as he rolled up his manuscript. "And I'm doggoned sorry for il" said the editor.-Msrchant Traveller. It is related of an old-time Bath school boy that after the master had given him 6 good logging the youngster said to the voice: "I thank you, Sir." s'Thank me! What are you thanking me for, you young rascals' replied old Master Whststone. q thought you did it for my good, Sir," re- piled Joshua. The tone, manner, and the words made the school rear, while the stern old pedagogue could take no exception to the retort and had to acknowledge it's righteous ness as we'll as it's wit-Lewiston Journal. Up in Oregon once, great many years ago, soldier was tried for shooting anothsr. He hired lawyer to defend him, and wit ness was put on the stand to swear to the shooting "The shooting was done opposite the cock house, between tattoo and retreat, {" had plan of the place prepared. He pulled 1t out esHsre is plan of the ground" he said te the witness: s'Now, sir, will you point out to the jury the exact place between tattoo and retreat on this map where the shooting was donei''-Sau Francisco Chroni- ole.