Wichita eagle., 1889-06-11
TOPSY.

! detest banes. Geneie reader, You are
ready to declare me to be cynical old bach
elor; and if you are a woman, more espe-
cially young woman, and an unmarried
one at that, you have already made up your
mind to detest me for the brutal remark
with which l have introduced myself, and
are forthwith ready to declare you viii not
read anything that such heartless wretch
would write. But beg of you to withhold
your indignation till qualify my remark by
further declaring that the antipathy which
exists in my breast for these necessary mem
bers OF society is for babies per Sc and does
not at all apply to those useful but noisy
young persons into which they subsequently
develop.
We have had several babies come to our
home at various times with somewhat alarm
ing frequency, and have been martyr TO
their despotic sway many a cold and stormy
night, the which were l to relate an army Of
heroic brothers would at once rise up and ex-
tend the sympathetic hand, with the cheerful
and consoling invitation 70 put it there"
But this was not the cause Of my PECULIAR
dislike for babies. | always submitted cheer
fully to their demands with becoming grace,
being melted thereto by sense of patesnal
interest in my offspring and the constant adj
monitions Of my respected wife.
1t Yves baby that nearly wrecked my hap
pinsss for life; baby that fell like boIrb,
as it were, into our peaceful home, spreading
fear and CONSERVATION among its unsusp,ict-
ing members and nearly destroying forever
our happy little household, and it was not our
baby, either.
1t was before the advent in our family Of
any Of those little responsibilities, which lat
terly have not been as dlatory IN their arri-
walls as | would ike, that the incident oc
CURED am about to relate.
Louisa and had been married about two
years and were living contentedly in a nice
little house in quiet and refined neighbor-
hood had an Office down town where /
conducted real estate agency, giving par
ticular attention to letting houses for my pa
irons who for the most part lived out Of
town and paid me TO look after their proper
tv from which / derived comfortable in
come
One afternoon I entered my Office, after
having been to inspect some houses for which
was endeavoring to obtain desirable ten
ants, and discovered lying on my desk little
note hastily written with pencil across a
tablet where could scarcely fail TO see it. 1t
read thus;
DEAR GroRcuI have come TO town 70 shop To-
day. Louisa and have gone TO matinee. Please
take care of ToIsy. Afectionately,
ARAsILA.
Arabelia YVES my wifes sister, who, being
Q young widow, lived out of town with her
mother. She rarely visited us, and when
she did it was only for a few hours az time,
as she did not like to leave her mother, who
was in feeble health, for any length Of time
who in thunder is Topsyf" I mentally
calculated, turning around to see if l could
find anything TO which that appellation might
properly be applied. did not have long to
look. AS my eyes glanced toward the lounge
on which / was won't TO lay my weary frame
after exhaustive arguments with unreesona-
bic tenants, sow red faced, pudgy looking
baby, which had been carefully deposited in
the comfortable nook made by the back and
one end of thecushioned lounge. Affecting of
distrust at once seized me, but l felt greatly
relieved when discovered that the little in
truder was asleep.
II hope they'll get back before it wakes"
said, as / turned to my desk and buried my
self In my work The clock struck 5, re-
minding me that 1t was my usual time of
closing l put away my books with a sigh
of relief, and prepared to leave the Office,
when suddenly remembered the baby. 1t
was still asleep. but was annoyed that Lou
lisa and Arabela did not make their appear
ance The matinee was certainly over, and
they would be back directly. / sat down and
waited Picking up newspaper L read
awhile till became aware that it was grow
ing darker. / jumped up; it was nearly
and Louisa and Arabella not come yet. !
wondered if they intended me to carry the
baby hcne myself Horrible thought
would wait a little while longer.
The minutes seemed like hours as l still
thought of my having to carry that frightful
burden home with ue The thought had an
awful fascination about 1t, which | vainly
strove against What would my acquaiut-
ances think to see ME Juggling about such an
uncouth burdenl
l could not help it. Like one who is
strangely impelled to cast himself headlong
from some lofty precipice over whose brink
he gazes, was irresistibly moved to seize
that innocent looking child and rush forth
into the street, never pausing till could drop
1t safely In the confines of my own home. l
did not know which end 10 take it by, but I
took it, fortunately, by the proper one, for it
did not awake, closed the door and went out.
Islipped around a corner into a side street
and made my way homeward, making many
a strange turning, for / sought the most I'M
frequented thoroughfares, hoping not TO meet
any one who might chance to recognize me.
In this / was fortunate and was nearing
my own home with feelings Of thankfulness,
when, as l turned the last corner into my
own street, l heard little scream, and al
most ran into two ladies who were crossing
the street, just as l came up / stopped at
once and looked up, much relieved when
recognized my wife and her sister.
'Oh, Georger' exclaimed Louisa, show you
frightened usi What on earth have YOU
got9" she asked with open eyed wonder, dis
covering the baby.
1t made lie angry TO see their astonish-
ment, which thought was assumed
1T looks like baby said, in tones
meant to be severe
why, it is baby, Bella, lookI" she said,
unmindful OF my sarcasm. Whose ever is
1T and where ON earth did you get itfn she
went on, looking st it with much curiosity.
ArabeIla looked at the baby with evident IN
terest, though saw from her manner that
she did not recognize it as hers
Were they trying to play of Q joke on me,
They did not seem SO. l was nonplused st
their manner
why, its Bellas baby" said, somewhat !
nettled
Belfast Why, Georgel How could your
exclaimed my wife, reproachfnly.
Bat it is,S persisted -What do you |
meant wish you'd take it This has gone
far enough
i should think So" said Arabella. in dis /
d2inful voice saw her turn red. then white. |
as she iookcd al me coldly. There was de 4
cided sheer on her face as she stepped hack |
:, l-rA1, I