davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
Russian Nobility.

A certain princely family in Russia,
each member of which can style him.
self by the family title, has propagated
SO rapidly in he course of 100 years
that there are 2, 708 males of the family
now living. All these are equals by
right of birth, but only twenty-five of
them have anything in the shape of
high position. Of the remainder 500
are in various grades Of the army, 400
and odd are merchants and shopkeep-
ers, 1,127 are merged into the lower
ranks and are stablemen, walters, la
borers, and servants; nineteen are in
jail for various offenses, one is under
sentence of hanging, three are police
spies, and two are in partnership as
the keepers of one of the most notori-
Gus houses of pleasure in Moscow. The
rest are occupied in various ways,
among them being several butchers,
bakers, and cab-drivers, and one who
inscribes his sign with his full princely
title and his business, corn doctor, y
underneath. All are Princes Galatzin.
These statistics were recently procured
at the instance of the czar, who is de-
vising some means for curtailing TIE
limit of an aristocratic title. In Russia
there are over 5000 noblemen of the
degree of prince, count, and baron in
receipt of parish relief-inscribed on
the rolls of the municipalities us pau
pers. Pbjiadeiphjd Society.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
A Story of Napoleon III.

When Napoleon III. was emperor, he
sat one day at Longchamps, sleepily
reviewing his army. Regiment after
regiment passed, but nothing seemed
to stir the emperor from his lethargy
At last, however, as regiment of
dragons rode by, he suddenly fixed
his attention upon the front rank.
''What is that lancer doing there among
the dragoons?n he asked his Chief-oi-
staff. The chief-of-Staff looked at the
lancer and galloped away to the di-
vision commander, while the emperor
sank back into his customary impas-
siveness. The emperor demands to
know why that lancer is among the
dragoons?" The general looked shock
ed and called out sharply to the colonel
of the regiment: Colonel, what have
you got that lancer among your men
for?" The colonel was dumfounded
and appealed to the commandment of
the squadron: whats the lancer do
ing here?" Il don't know, sir" ex-
claimed the commandant of the squad
ron, and he called the captain. ''Look
here, captain, why have you got that
rascally lancer in your company?n Th
captain pleS ded ignorance. III ask
the lieutenant" he said. By this time
the inquiries began to be garnished
with oaths and abuse. The lieutenant,
apparently surprised beyond expression
at the presence of the lancer, hurled
question and imprecation all at once at
the head of the orderly sergeant.
What in the world is that lancer here
for?" Then the orderly sergeant rode
up to the lancer himself, as if he were
about to cut him through to his saddle.
''You villain! What are you doing
here among the dragons? The En-
peror is after you. You'll be shot at
the very least" But, sergeant the
soldier stammered. ''you know I've
permitted, sir.n Formulation in the
army means transfer, by authority,
from one corps to another. Permit
ed, eh?" said the sergeant; ''well, that
won't help you any now.n The orderly
sergeant went to the lieutenant with
the report that the man had permitted;
the lieutenant told the captain, and the
captain the commandant of the squad
ron, and the commandant of the squad
ron the colonel. and the colonel the
general, and the general the chief-of-
staff, and the chief-of-staff came to the
emperor. Sir" he began, 1.-The lancer
has permitted s'What lancer?" 1.-The
lancer whom your majesty noted among
the dragons. ''Oh, yesi He's per-
muted, eh?" said the emperor, sleepily;
swell, he looked like good man. Let
him have medalH
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
The Zetetic Philosophy.

The Zetetic Philosophy, which proves
absolutely and without a shadow of
doubt that earth is plane and not a
planet, has in it no theories. but estab-
fishes its conclusions upon facts alone.
Many of these facts are of such a ma
ture that not to know all about them
will soon be deemed sign of ignor-
ance. The people should know that
the surface of standing water is level,
whether it be in the form of a pond, a
lake, canal, sea, or an ocean, and
that it makes no difference at all how
many people, in consequence of false
teachings. believe it to be curved; that
in no surveyors operations in the con-
struction of railroads, tunnels, or ca
mails is any allowance made for the
curvature" of the earth's surface, al
though the books tell us that it is ne
cessary; that the view from a balloon
in the air is that of a fiat earth and not
of a globe; that the river Paraguay in
800 miles does not fall foot-that for
the last 800 miles the Amazon falls but
10 feet 6 inches-and that the Nile in
1000 miles falls but foot.
Sailors can see the light at Cape Hat
teras forty miles out at sea, whereas
on the globe theory it ought to be more
than 900 feet below the level line of
sight; strain your eyes as you please,
you can never see a ship coming up, :"
for at the farthest distance that you can
by any means see a ship it is on a level
with the eye; the horizon always rises
on and on just as you rise on; if the
mariner We're to take a ''globe" with
him with which to navigate the ocean
he would wreck his ship; meridians are
straight lines diverging from the cen
trail north toward the south in all di-
rections horizontally parallels of lat
itude" only are circles and on a
globe the pointing of a compass north
and south is clearly impossible; sailing
westerly is sailing round horizontally
with the north star on your right hand,
and sailing easterly is sailing in the
same horizontal mode with the north
star on your left-and all the money in
the United States treasury would not
buy proof of so much as the bare pos
sibility of sailing down globe, under
a globe, and up the other side!-Car-
pe2ster'S F'OLLy.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12

woman screams OF pain. Inc man OF
medicine dressed with all haste aud adj
mitted the woman. who stated between
her groans that something WAS the
matter with her ear. The physician
got out his instruments, and. upon
making an examination. found an inn
mense fat bedbug gnawing at the tym-
panum. \ pair of tweezers soon re-
moved the vermin and the ear resumed
its normal condition.
The girl with the iron jaw is what
the friends of Miss Lillian Toban, of
New York City, have named the re-
markable girl of seventeen. She has
for a long time been the envy of gum
chewing ehums. Her powers of regu-
lar, rapid and long-sustained manipu-
lation of tutti frutti placed her in the
front ranks as chewer. But she not
only chews gum as no other woman
could, but she chews kindlin@ wood
and broom handles, pine knots bits of
broken furniture and grinds the hard
est wood into sawdust and pulp. More
than this, her hair is so strong that she
can tie dumbbells to slender wisps of
it and whirl them in dizzy circles around
her head.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
Protected By the Flag.

Some people have unbounded conf
dence In the protection which their
country's flag will give them under all
circumstances. 1t would be unpatriot-
&c. they perhaps think, to question the
efficacy of the national emblem.
Youths Companion tells a story illus
trating this fact: When the boundary
surveyors were running the line west
ward through Manitoba resident of
Pembina cautioned Captain Cameron,
the head of the Canadian survey,
against the Sioux, who were then mus
tering in the Wood Mountain district,
and recommended his taking a larger
escort.
"Oh, am not afraid of Them" re-
piled the gallant little hero; Il shall
just hoist the British ensign, and that
will be sufficient"
In the course of the conversation
Captain Cameron inquired as to the
best means of saving his men and ami
mails from the annoyance of mosqui-
toes, which that year were peculiarly
troublesome.
''There is no remedy for Them" re-
piled the American, Except when
there is slight breeze, before which
they disappear"
Yes" said the gallant officer, ''but
we must do something. Men can't
work and take careful observations
with these Internal mosquitoes buzzing
around them; can't you do anything to
get rid of them, Mr.. Lennon"
oval, sir, we can't do anything here;
we have to put up with them. Perhaps
if you were to hoist the British ensign
you spoke of awhile ago, that might
scare 'em; don't know nothing else
they'd care a cent for.n
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
Unlimited Credit.

The Young Ladies Journal tells of a
country schoolmistress who had much
trouble with her pupils, and to avoid ii
made her examples placed before them
of an explanatory character or illustra-
tive. The effect was often unexpected.
In going over their usual reading lesson
a line was chosen by the lady upon
which to test the merits of the scholars.
The line read: ''And he was man of
unlimited credit in business
Now, John, can you tell me what
is meant by the word credit when used
as in this lesson?'
Thus she addressed one of the stum-
bling blocks of the school.
81 dunno, marm," said Johnny, look
ing sheepish.
'You don't knowI" said the mistress.
'Well. look here. Surprising your
mother was to come short of money at
the latter part of the week. and needed
provisions, etc., now what would she
dopn
She was satisfied that her illustration
was plain. and awaited the correct re-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
Cured OF Flirting.

''No more flirting for me, boys" re-
marked a drummer to some of his ac-
quaintances, one of whom was a re-
porter for the Nebraska City Press. Il
Ised to 90 without smoking when |
was dying for cigar, just so l could
go in the ladies' car. But I'm cured.
On my last run into Lincoln | met a
nice young lady. She was agreeable,
and of course | made myself as nearly
so as possible. Had a pleasant half
hour with her before we reached the
station, and of course when we got off
there | asked her if there were any par
GELS could carry for her. She smiled
bewitchingly and said | might help her
if | would be so kind. Then she point
ed to the seat right behind where we
were sitting, and there were three ba-
bieS, assorted sizes, asleep. She said
they were hers. Well, | was in for it,
so picked up the biggest ones, one on
either arm, while she took the kid.
We marched out and found a carriage,
and put her in and was about to say
good day, when she smiled again so
bewitchingly and asked me to get in.
| couldn't refuse you know, so | went
along. We drove out to somewhere
near the capitol and stopped before a
nice house. A man came running out,
lifted out the babies, kissed them, lifted
out the young woman, kissed her two
or three times and told the driver
he could go. Would you believe it,
she was so spoony on that husband of
hers she never said good-by to me nor
looked in my direction at all; and that
amt the worst of it, l had to pay the
carriage hire myself and lost half a
days time in the bargain. That wo-
man cured me of flirting so long as 1
live"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
An Electricians House.


One of Edison's chiefs lives in New
ark in a house which is all agog with
wires. AS one approaches the front
gate it swings open and shuts auto
matically. The visitors foot on the
steps of the porch rings a bell in the
kitchen and also one in the masters
study. By touching button he opens
the front door before the stranger has
time to knock. An electrical music
box plays during dinner. When the
guest retires to his bedroom the fold
Ing-bed unfolds by electricity. When
he puts out the gas strange, mocking
display of skeletons, grave-stones, owls,
and other hideous phantasmagoria
dances about on the wall at his feet,
reappearing and disappearing in e
ghostly electrical glare.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
The Pretty Women of Washington.

Surely there is not another city in
these United States which can boast so
many pretty women as Washington.
The stranger is Immediately struck
with the prevalence of female beauty
here, more especially if he has just ar
rived from Boston, where one may
walk the most crowded thoroughfares
for hours without beholding a single
instance of it. In this town youthful
lovelineSs IN pettieoats is to be seen
everywhere. During the cooler hours
of the summer afternoons the streets
are a battle-ground for troops of
sweet young girls, like so many bud
ding roses in their dresses of snowy
cambria and muslin. To find a plain
one among them would be difficult in
deed. This style of dress, of all cos
TUNES the most appropriate and be-
coming for maidenhood, is tabooed in
the modern Athens, where it would be
considered in bad taste for a lady to
appear out-of-doors in other than cloth
gown. The beauty of Washington
women, too, is of a peculiarly delicious
kind, III type distinctiyely Southern,
with a soft roundneSS and delicate
tinting of race not indigenous to
frigid New England. And, actually,
they have figures! The Boston female
figure is usually a zero in quality and a
unit in quantity; in other words, it is
the same size all the way down and en-
tirely lacking in the essential element
of curve. With the young ladies of
Washington it is quite Otherwise
Washington Letter to Nel0 Orleans PIC
du2s71e.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
A MAMMOTH WHEEL.
The Largest of Its Kind Ever Made in the
World.

The greatest wheel of its kind in the
world, very wonder in mechanism,
stands in the main shop of the Dickson
Manufacturing company in Scranton
Pa. 1t was built for the Calumet and
Hecla Mining company of Lake SUI
perior, Mich, for the purpose of lift
ing and discharging the ''tailings, a
waste from the copper mines, into the
lake, and its diameter is "a feet, while
its weight in active operation will be
200 tons. 1t is called fifty-foot sand
wheel, but its extreme dimensions are
ffty-four feet in diameter. Some idea
of its enormous capacity can be formed
from the fact that it will receive and
elevate sufficient sand every twenty
four hours to cover an acre of ground
a foot deep.
1t is armed on its outer edge with
432 teeth, All inches pitch and Is
inches face. The gear segments, eigh-
teen in number, are made of gun iron,
and the teeth are machine-cut, epicy-
cloidal in form. 1t took two of the
most perfect machines in the world 100
days and nights to cut the teeth alone,
and the finish is as smooth as glass.
The wheel is to be driven by pinion
of gun iron containing SO teeth of
equal pitch and face and will run at a
speed of 600 feet per minute at the in
ner edge, where it will be equipped
with 48S steel buckets that will lift the
''tailings" as the machine revolves and
discharge them into the lake. The
shaft of the wheel is of gun iron, and
its journals are % inches in diameter
by feet inches long. The shaft is
made in three sections and is 80 inches
in diameter in the outer center.
At first glance the great wheel looks
like an exaggerated bicycle wheel, and
it is constructed much on the same
principle, with straining rod that run
to centers cast on the outer section of
the shaft. The steel buckets on either
side of the gear are each feet 1-2
inches long and q inches deep, and
the combined lifting capacity of the
44S, running at a speed of 600 feet per
minute, will be 300, 600, 900 gallons of
water and 1000 tons of sand every
twenty-four hours. The mammoth
wheel is supported on two massive
pedestals of cast iron weighing twelve
tons each, and it is estimated that it's
cost at the copper mines before max
ing single revolution will not be less
than 500. 900.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
A Science That Needs Study.

With all the advantages enumerated
for the conveyance of the voice in thea
ters which no other form of auditorium
affords, still we have never discovered
the principles applicable to the proper
tons of a great hall by which the voice
is spread and conveyed evenly and in
the most perfect manner to all parts.
After the building is completed it is
confessedly and VIGOROUSLY a matter
of accident and question to be solved
by experiment whether it is ''good for
sound" When it proves to be defect
i've no one can explain why it is SO, or
where the defect lies, or prescribe a
remedy. Echoes will be found nest
ling in one spot; reyerberations confus-
ing the voices will be found in another;
a person seated thirty feet from the
speaker will hear with difficulty while
his voice reaches one seated seventy
feet away distictly. The hall contain
ing 100000 cubic feet is easily filed by
the voice while in this smaller one, not
containing 200, 900 feet, the speaker is
at great trouble to make himself heard.
Ii acoustics were an exact science
would there be, could there be any
doubt or error in these matters? By
experiment we are led to believe that
the domed, the arched, the groined
roof is bad for sound, and therefore in
cathedral churches, where it has been
found, chanting was used and a must
cal service became essentials; the long,
open, sonorous notes which character
ize sacred music were, / suspect, an
architectural consequence. Those who
have listened to a preacher holding
forth in a sermon after an anthem may
have noticed how unfit such an audi
forum is for speech. BoucicauH
IN North american ReUteaU.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
How Turkish Rugs Are Made.

An exact reproduction of how Turk
ism rugs are made in the east is given
in show window on Broadway, near
Twenty-second street. says the n Y,
San. A genuine Turk attired in pur-
pie tunic reaching to his feet, and tied
about the waist with a gaudv sash. with
his head incased in a maroon fez. is
giving the exhibition. The loom on
which he works is composed of two up
rights of undrcssed wood. Between
these uprights at top and bottom
run two rollers at right angles. Over
these rollers is stretched a network of
cord Two smallers sticks are intro
duced between the interstices of the
network, one half way down and the
other few inches above the lower roll
er, which serves to keep the network
taut and also acts as guide for the
eye. The operator sits. tailor-fashion,
on Turkish rug, and within his reach
are skeins of worsted of various colors
Three or four strands about three
inches long are taken at a time. These
are twisted about a single cord, tied.
and then cut off to make the requisite
length of the fur of the rug. The next
cord is similarly treated, and so on I'M
til the width of the rug is. competed.
The worker carries the design in his
head, and produces his patterns by the
use of different colored worsteds. The
operation is very slow one, and
skillful worker can not accomplish
more than two inches on a rug of ordi-
nary width in a day.
The spectacle is most interesting
one, and large crowds are continually
about the window watching the rug
makers progress.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
Grouping of Animals.

The generally accepted terms of the
various groups of animals and birds are
as follows, according to an English au-
thority: A herd of swine, skulk of
foxes, pack of wolves. drove of oxen
or cattle; a sounder of hogs, troop of
monkeys, pride of lions, sleuth of
bears, band of horses, a herd of
ponies, a covy of cartridges. a hide of
pheasants, a wisp of snipe, school of
whales, a shoal of behring's, a run of
fish. a flight of doves, a muster of
peacocks, a siege of herons, building of
rocks, brood of grouse, a swarm of
bees, gnats, flies, ETC., stand of
flowers. a watch of nightingales, a cast
of hawks. flock of geese, sheep, goats,
etc., a bevy of girl, GALAXY of stars,
and crowd of men or boys.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
A CITY THAT HAS NO COUNTERPART.
10000 Happy and Luxurious People, with
Neither Shop, Artisan, Nor Trade.

LAYING between Assam and Burmah
is the remote little hill state of Man
ipur, lately visited by Indian officers,
one of whom, writing on the forests of
the state in Indian Forests, gives an
extraordinary account of Imphail, the
capital. 1t is situated in what appears
dense forest. Neither spires nor
chimneys cut the blue sky, nor is smoke
observed to ascend from the sylvan
scene of the capital. Nothing, in fact,
bespeaks the busy home of 10000 to
10000 people, and yet hidden away
among these trees is the palace of the
Rajah and hard by are the houses OF
his favorites. each family having a large
Enclosure around the homestead. Imp
hail may thus be described as city OF
villages, or rather suburban residences,
around the palace. Straight. wide
roads lined with trees, frequently in
tersecting each other at right angles,
afford the means of communication,
but neither shop, artisan, nor wheeled
| conveyance exists in the city. Indus
try and skill occur only in the distant
rural homes"
The people of the capital are the
promoted favorites of the ruler, who
have had assigned to them plots of
ground near the palace, and live by
pressing upon the prosecuted agricul-
turist of the state.
The capital of Manipur is a royal
residence dedicated to luxury and
amusement. All are happy. The
streets are crowded with smiling, healthy
faces, of which few bear the marks of
toll or labor. There are no schools in
the state and court favor and promo
ton are secured by success in polo.
Coinage is unknown, and the men are
not allowed to trade. Imports and
exports, except in certain articles that
yield royal revenue, are practically
prohibited.
The women from the distant villages
repair OF certain day to the capital
or to other recognized centers. Each
carries on her head a neatly made
square basket, in which has been placed
the surplus stock of the homestead, the
labors of her industrial skill or of her
husbands agricultural knowledge. On
reaching the market place the contents
of these baskets are exposed and bar
tered, when each returns again to her
family, carrying off the proceeds.
On market days the long straight
road from Bishenpur to Imphail is
crowded by groups of women hurry
ing to and fro. Each wears an ele-
gantly striped dress in bright colors,
made of silk and cotton. The stripes
run along the length, and the top and
bottom are neatly embroidered. A long
piece of cloth is cleverly carried across
the breasts and just under the armpits;
instead of round the waist, and is firm
ly tucked up, so that the top embroid-
cred edge falls forward, adding an adj
ditional fold to the garment, while the
bottom edge reaches a little below the
knees. The legs and arms are left ex-
posed. The women are the only trad
ers in the whole state.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-12-12
A Wonderful Dog.

H. C. Wheatly, employed in an asy-
lum at Milledgeville, Ga, has a Won
derful dog. He sends him on errands
to any one about the institution, or to
almost any place, the dog having
learned the places by name and obey
ing every instruction. He can count,
spell, and invariably, before retiring
for the night, kneels by the side of Mr..
Wheatly's bed and say his prayers. He
can climb ladder from the under side,
placed at an angle of 80 degrees, and
performs a number of tricks that re-
quire more mental strength than is
usually found in the canine family.