Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1889-07-17
HUMOROUS.

-Four Oil City ladies met on one of
our streets the other day and talked
five minutes without uttering a single
word of gossip. A great many,
strange things happen in Oil City. .
Blizzard.
-Mamma-"Howard, are you going
to take part in the tree planting at
school on Arbor Dayp" Howard
(emphatical!y)-"No, I hain't; there's
huff switches CROWN round our
school now. Life.
When Booms Stop. .-Easterner-
81 understand the great land boom at
Dugout City has collapsed" Wost-
erner-'Yes; no use keepin' it goin'
any longer. All the land now is
owned by outsiders. IN. Y. Weekly.
AT a Grocery Store.-D1rs. Snooz-
ers -"Land alive! What are you 60
ing to do, Mr.. Greengoods, with all
these coops Of chickensP" MIR. c.
"a great scheme OF mine. Eggs laid
while you wait, you know. I'm tired
of the kicks against my eggs. Chi
cago Herald.
mo, SIR" said the editor to the
poet "Your work is rank plagiarism.
Now get out. Well, what do you
wantP' he added, addressing, the
humorist. II have some original
jokes" Don't want 'em. l can
get all the original humor 1 want out
Of my exchanges. Good morning" -
Harper's Bazaar.
(which do you love most, your
papa or your mammal Littlc
Charlie-"I love papa most"
Charities mother--"Why, Charlie, l
am surprised at you. Isthought you
loved me most" Chai'ie-''Can't
help it, mamma; We men have to hold
together. Texas Siftings.
You look tired, Miss Brown; too
much dancingP" "Oh, dear me, no!
but we gave what is called an sen-
gagged dinner last week, whore eight
oetrothed couples were invited, and
afterward they retired to eight differ
ent corners of the two rooms ald
whispered all the evening, and it re-
minded papa and mamma so much Of
their courtship they went out and sat
on the stairs and left mo alone. Do
you wonder ! still look tiredp''-
Funny Folks.
do you ever focl lonesome, de-
serted, and as though you had not q
friend in the world, Mrs. DobbsP" in
quired johnson of his widowed laid
lady. Eyes. indeed, Mr.. johnson, and
my heart always goes out to those
n fN1sfI1 noto ,hD l.fk
in tho world" "Then / take it that
you have bestowed the full measure of
your pity on that strawberry in the
shortcake, Mrs. Dobbs?" II would
remind you. Mr.. johnson. that con-
duct my business on strictly cash
basis" she replied, with whitening
scorn.-Minneapolis journal.
Water as a Medicine.
Some of the doctors have been tell
ing their experience in practicing "the
faith cure;'' in other words, working
on the imagination OF their patients.
Besides tho bread pills of which our
forefathers partook, it seems that now
we are indulging in small doses of in
jected water in the place OF morphine.
One OF the Manhattan hospital physi.
clans asserts that it often puts 3
patient to sleep quito as we'll as the
drug. DR.. Clinton gives water tinct
ured with quinine instead of NOR.
phine, and reports that it works
wonders. So also salt and water are
surreptitiously administered in place
of bromides. Are We in reality only
bundles OF fancies, or are we develop
ing into a physical era, in which the
mind shall control tho body in wayt
not formerly possiblep Can we no
manage in some way to fool ourselves
and go TO g, eep without being fooled
by the doctorP Who will invent
substantial trick on himselfp - St
Louis Globe Democrat