The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1889-04-13

"Of course it isr'
And | had my arm around you
all day, giving myself dead away?"
you did"
81 will never believe it-never. I
own up to beng little soft in my
bachelor days, but | was no hayseed.
You are drifting to dangerous point
Mrs. Bowser, and you should pause
ere it is too late!"
Il like to go over the old times
once in while and see how you have
changed"
Changed! Changed! That's it! If
husband isn't making fool of him
self all tbs time his wife argues that
he is growing cold and dissatisfied.
How have l changed"
"You never call me your Birdie
any more
20! l don't! suppose you've
got proof that used to call you
Birdie, when your front name is
Sarah?"
Il have, sir! Listen while l read:
Statement IV.-'Mr. Bowser
bought some gumdrops OF the train
boy to feed his Birdie, as he said, but
| never liked them. He called me
Birdie from that to Chicago and back,
said it meant more to him than the
name Angelp'
Mrs. Bowser" he shouted, as he
jumped up, "is my presence desired
in this house?"
"Of course it is"
Then do not plan to drive me
out of it! see now how wives have
driven their husbands to despera-
ton"
"Sit down, Mr.. Bowser. We are
simply living over old times tor a
brief while. Aad to tease you to
kiss me the other night"
'Yes, and suppose you've got
something written down about that,
haven't you? Pm of as loving dispo-
sition as the next men, but how it
does look to see a married couple
billing and cooling like couple of
young idiots"
"And yet you once longed to kiss
me forever"
II never, never did! Don't drive
me to the wall, Mrs Bowser."
81 won't, but l want to read a
paragraph to you. Here it is:
Statement V.-Ihird day of our
tour. l am very, very happy. Mr..
Bowser has just kissed me on the
chin, cheeks, nose, eyes and ears
and says he'd like to keep on kissing
forever. He says he can hardly help
biting me on the chin. >"
ct was a minute before he could
speak, and the bald spot on his head
was red as paint, He finally choked
down his feelings sufficiently to shout:
Il brand that as pure malice and
forgery Mrs. Bowser, you must take
that back and apologize to mel"
"How can |? l read it just as it
was written, and | can't recall the
circumstance. Don't you know, we
had just returned from-"
Never! We never returned!
Nothing OF the sort ever happened!
I'd deny it on my dying bed!"
you'll next deny that you cried
in Indianapolis when hurt my fin
ger, an that you bound it up with a
handkerchief wet with your tears"
Deny! Of course I'll deny! I'll
swear on forty Bibles that l never
didw
with that he rushed up stairs,
but | followed him to the landing and
read:
Statement VI.-'AccidentalIy
pinched my finger in the door. Mr..
Bowser said it was his fault, and the
first knew he was weeping. After
wiping his eyes with his handkerchief
he proceeded to do up my finger in
the same. He has a tender heart"
81 knew Mr.. Bowser was listening
over the banister, and so maliciously
added:
"-'Ard, with little practice,
will no doubt become the champion
weepist of the world"
He uttered a snort and growl
and went off to bed without a word,
but next morning he put on an extra
ten minutes frollcking with the baby,
and when ready to go he said to me:
"By the way, darl, you'd better go
down and pick out sealskin sack
to-day. | was going to get it for
Christmas, but you might as well
have the wear of it now."-Detr0H
| Fee Press.