davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

Shepherdstown is
provided with mer-
camille establishments
of sufficient number
and variety to conduct
its business well. The
stores are first-cIass.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12
There are two Bull
ding Associations here
that are prosperous,
we'll managed, and
safe.

Hortense-What an awful squeeze
there was at the Won Twiller recep-
ton last night. Grace-Yes, George
and had to sit outside on the stairs.
Hortense-Did the squeeze continue
out there!
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

Magistrate-What is your manner
Facetious Tramp-Robert Elsmere.
''Ehf Wha-why, bless me, 1 thought
Robert Elsmere was a preacher.
Yes y'r honor, / was. This is what
doubtin' hez brought me to-"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12
How He Cured Cyrus.

This ere athletics and gymnasiums
is all wrong said the old man, as he
laid down his paper and began TO
shuck three-ply peanut. I've had
a sample of it in my own family, and
/ know how it works
Don't you believe in such exercises
for young mann
Wall, the exercise may be all right.
but the fellers git false ideas in their
heads. Take my son Cyrus, for in
stance. Cy was a leetle inclined to
consumption, and | rayther encour-
aged gymnastics. 1t wasn't three
weeks afore he begun TO get sassy
l gave him lickin' one day, and l
could see that he didn't take it kind
ly. He began to put on airs over his
mother, and when | cum TO inquire
around leetle | found that Cy was
on the box. He was a-holdin' up his
dukes and knocking the boys right
and left. | overheard him talkin' to
our Bill about position guard
break away, knockout, and SIGH and
every day he got sassier. He was
eighteen years old, but / allus lick my
boys till they are past twenty. | saw
that Cy was going to buck. Thar was
Bill and Tom and Jerry TO be affected
by his example, and | felt that sun
thin orter be done. One day we was
hoein' corn, and Cy was off. l didn't
mind it fur while; but bine by got
riled and said:
Seems to HE you ar achin' fur
hckin'."
"'Mebbe am, father, he replies as
cool as ice, but l shan't git it. Eve
been licked fur the last time
cause why" l asked.
:" Cause / won't allow it,
Then | knew that the time had
come when he'd got to have sunthin'
stronger than boss medicine He'd
got the big head on him tremenjus,
and it was then or never
Suppose we walk over to the barn,
Cy?' | keerlessly remarked as fin
ished row.
He said he was my huckleberry,
and we dropped our hoes and went.
When we got inside we both began to
peel by mutual consent, and Cy car
ried grin all over his face. He'd
bin put on TO new upper cut two or
three days before, and he was calke-
latin on spilin' my chawin' machine
at the fnst blow. He looked the Jim
dandy as he squared off, and rather
anticipated the wust. | never fit in
my life, but when we squared roff |
was bound to down Cyrus. Says /:
"'Cy, will We quit yer sass and
knuckle if don't lick ye'
And he said: Father, raise yer
dukes leetle higher and look out fur
me-
with that he tapped me on the
storeroom with one land and cuffed
my ear with the other, and | sailed
III IiS give lIlt Out Oll llle UOOlH-DOA
as l closed in, but arter that the gate
money was mine. | throwed him in
to the manager, over the fannin' mill,
and behind the granary, and l was
going to run him through the corn
shelter, when he hollered Enough
and begged me to let up on him. 1t
worked mighty sudden cure on him.
Swellin' all went out of his head that
night, and when | licked him with
cornstalk next day he was as humble
as calf. Gymnastics is all right up
to certain pint, but when you git
beyond it it's dangerous. S'posen l
hadn't come out on top of Cy. Why,
sir, he'd have been buffin' me outer
the house by this time, and probably
had a match on with Sullivan
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

Clerk atleading book-store-''What
can l show you, sir" Intellectual
looking Customer-''I've heard a good
deal about new book called Robert
L. Smear. Got it,"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

Mr.. Barnum ought to go down to
Arlington, Mass, and look at Frank
Nichols's horse. 1t was raised on Cape
Cod, is red in color, and weighs 600
pounds. A description of the beast
reads thus: 1t resembles a COW when
looked at from one direction, mule,
from another, has the tail of mule,
but not the ears, and no name, except
a ridge of curly white hair. Its body
Is covered with short woolly sub
stance
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

sRun daily. All others daily except sunday
Timetables giving time of local and branch
trains can be had on application TO :. V. X.
r. Agent at Shepherdstown.
j. f. BOYD, Superintendent.
II RIDDLE Gen 4 Pass. Agent.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

Old Laty-"My dear. 10 yOH really
wiic:' Engaged niece-"Yes, indeed;
don't the least bit mind being t,lked
about -
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

Traveller: Say, boy, what are Won
sitting there fu,: You'll freeze to
death" Boy tbriwren hi- eiIattering
teeIhl-"W Why. de ole m..n Iole me fer
To take der pup Out an drown him; but
de lee on der creek il t~o leet hick, 20
thought Id Ill here an ireeze him 10
death"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

Teacher-''What is the future of
He drinkss Johnny (after consid-
cradle thought HE is drunk"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

1t is claimed that a silver lode of
great size, and thought to be of spec
ial richness in pure metal, has been
discovered and partially located ON
the Buena Vista tract in the foot hills
and along the base of the Blue Ridge
in Rockbridge county, Va.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

Old Mr.. Bently-I see that two per
forated seat chair manufacturers in
this town have consolidated and will
h reafter do their work conformity
Old Mrs. Bently-Yes, sp'ose one
of 'em will make the seats and the
other one will make the holes.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

Bridget-Shall / lave the hall lamp
burning ma ma? Mistress-No. am
pretty sure Mr.. Jones won't be home
until daylight. He kissed me three
times before he left and gave me $40
for a new sp-ing bonnet.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12
Western Maryland Railroad.

CONNECTING WITH
II & L. X. X. at ShippensbuTg, Shenandoah
Valley and Il. q o. Railroads at HHgerstown
Penna r. r. at Frederick Junction, and 4.
W. q b.. n. g. and - Il Z. Railroads at Union
Station, Baltimore, Md.
MAIN LINE AND CONNECTIONS.
Schedule taking effect Dec. 2, Isss.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12

Easter Sunday falls this year on
April 21st in 1880 it fell on the latest
date, April 25th, the only time during
this century, and in the next century
it will fall on April 25th in 1943 The
earliest date for Easter Sunday,
March 22d, has occurred only once IN
this century, in 1918, and twill not
recur before Ammo Domini 1000.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-04-12
E!:!gglSs5zs#

Shenandoah Valley Railroad.
ST. TYLER, RECEIVER.
Schedule in effect Dec. 10th, IssS.
LEAVE sHEPHERDsrowN-soUT
s.oi A. NJ. Daily-New Orleans Express. Ro-
anoke and intermediate stations
and all points South and South
west Through Pullman Sleeping
cars from New York and Phila-
delphia to Chattanooga and Men,
phis.
An p. NJ. baiiy-Memphis Express from
New York, Philadelphia and
Baltimore and with day coaches
to Roanoke, making connection
through TO the South.
LEAVE OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
ra.57A.M. Daily-Baltimore Express, from
all points South, arrive In Balti-
more ais p. NJ, Washington 200
p NJ, Harrisburg, LISP. NJ, Phil
adelphia, $50 p. NJ.
elsP NJ Daily-New York and Phiiadel-
phia Express. from Memphis,
Chattanooga and all points south.
Arrive at Philade lphia LIS a. NJ,
New York ITO A. NJ. Sleeping
cars through TO New York via
Harrisburg.
Ticket Agents will furnish all Information
and through schedules upon application.
q. HOWARD ROVER,
Roanoke. Va Genl. Pass. Agt.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-26
A HUMOROUS MILLIONAIRE.

ANDREW CARNEGIE, the Pennsylvania
millionaire iron manufacturer who made
all his wealth by the aid of the high tariff
laws. seems to be a humorist as well as a
money maker and Republican campaign
boomer. The other day the half starved
and half-clothed employees at his Home
stead mill represented to him that their
pay was so small they could not live
decentiy, not to say comfortably, on what
they were receiving, and they therefore
asked him for an increase of 30 per cent.
in their wages. He took a little time
TO think the matter over, and then
sent his answer, which was that
beginning next month wages would
be reduced 20 per cent. The humor of the
response was so excruciating that the men
at once gave notice of a strike, and it is un-
do rs God that the mill will be closed until
Mr. CARNEGIE can import some ship-loads
of the 'pauper latorers of Europe as he
is in the habit of doing when he finds that
workmen in this country require more pay
than tle ignorant fellows ask who are
found on the other side of the Atlantic
Mr.. CARNEGIE is one of the most earnest
energetic and liberal of Republicans on
election days. He is a talker, a worker and
and giver. In the last Presidential cam
paign he spent much time and more money
in convincing voters that high tariff
would insure high wages and good
times for working people, protecting
them against the competition OF
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-26


A STRANGE problem presents itself in
New Orleans, and one which is being dis
cussed in the newspapers of that city. The
mortality reports prove that white men die
there in much greater numbers than white
women. The climate seems to agree with
women. In the month of March more than
twice as many men as women died, the
death rate of the former being 1913 to the
thousand, and of the latter, 1876, For one
week the ratio was four to one A recent
census shows there are 10000 more females
than males in the city. 1t is plain to be
seen that if this remarkable disproportion
in the death rate shall continue, it is only a
question of time when New Orleans will
be city of women. To equalize things
the corporation will have either to export
women OF import men.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-26
THE PRESIDENT az ENENY.


Ithas been said on many occasions since
the national election last year, that General
HARRISON was not a friend TO Utah. 1t
has been the boast of some of the pro
nounced enemies 10 this territory that the
President was man whose sentiments
were in perfect accord with theirs. It was
hoped that these allegations and insinua
tions were false; that the time had gone by
when narrow mindedness and bigotry could
assert thmselves in high places, and fanati
oism exercise controlling influence in the
nation. 1t seems, however, that those who
told of HARRISON were familiar with his
character; that they knew him to be
narrow, preiudiced and fanatical, and dis
posed to do little and mean things; and also
that he hated Utah.
If the President is acquainted with cur
rent history, he knows that for the past
year there has been more peace in
this territory than during the previous
dozen years; he knows there has be n a
coming together Of the Heretofore incon-
gruous elements; that comparative har-
mony has prevailed in the community, and
that as a natural consequence there has
been wonderful material progress, as well
as an almost complete revolution in public
sentiment. The Presidentmust also know,
if he has read the newspapers or glanced
over the reports on file in the department
of justice, that during the year the laws
have been enforced as never before. If he
had desired to know why this was the case,
he could have readily learned that it was
because there was not the open warfare
between the community and the courts
which had existed so long, encour-
aged and stimulated by officers who
hated peace and loved strife and CON
tention The people had come to regard
the courts as institutions of justice rather
than as organizations for persecution and
oppression, and the result was the quiet
and asa matter of course obedience to the
authority of the law. accompanied by re
spect for those charged with the interpre-
tation and execution Of the statutes.
These things could not have escaped
HARRISON unless the man has persistently
closed his eyes and ears to facts which are
known throughout the length and breadth
Of the republic. They did not escape him.
lie is well acquainted with the truth, as
are those by whom ne is surrounded. And
yet the President no sooner gets into power
than he deliberately and malicously
schemes to reverse the wheels Of progress
in this fair land, AMI undo all the good
that has been done He found upon
the bench wise, humane and
conservative Judge, whose fair and upright
course must be largely credited with the
improved condition of affairs existing to-
day over that o. year and more ago. The
President found the hiefiustice interpret
ing the law in a firm, yet kind and humane
spirit-in a manner to make the court and
its authority respected without creating
the impression that this great government
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-26

of the United States was the vindictive
enemy of this handful of people in Utah,
sworn to employ its mighty power IN
crushing out and destroying the insigniti-
cant community. This seems to have been
too mnch for the prejudiced soul of the
/ President, and without warning or consid-
Grafton he strikes down the man who had
done so much for the welfare of Utah, and
whose every wish was that he could
induce the respect for the law which
all good judges like TO see. The removal Of
Chief Justice SANFORD was thing to be
complained of, for the results following his
service on the bench prove him to have
been the right man in the right place. But
the office being regarded as one of the pol
itical "spoiIs, Judge SANDFoRD's displace
ment was to be expected and would have
excited little comment, had there been no
apparent malice in it. That there was
malicein it is proven by the fact that at
the beginning of his administration HAIR
RIsoN caused it to be announced that no
Judge would be disturbed before the eX-
piration Of his four years. term except for
cause. There was no cause in this instance,
no charge having been preferred against the
chief Justice. Malice is further shown
in the selection of the successor. Instead
of placing the removal on partisan grounds,
and appointing one of his strikers to the
office, the President goes back TO the period
when there was most trouble in Utah and
digs up the man who brought more harm TO
this territory than any other person. HAIR
RIsoN finds the man whose term on the
bench was continuous period of COM
munity strife and turmoil; who terrOrized
the public like veritable tyrant; who ever
sat like grim monster, heartless, cruel
and unfeeling, dealing out tortures and
groaning because the law restricted
him in the exercise of that vindic-
tive hate which is characteristic of
his nature; who alarmed capital and para
lyzed local industries, setting the territory
back years in the march of material pro
gress and development. This is the man
discovered by HARRISON, and whom the
President returned to the place which he
held four long years tocthe awful distress
and mighty injury of the struggling com
We say the Presidents action in this
matter proves the truth of what has been
said regarding him, that he is narrow, pre-
JUDGED and fanatical, hating Utah and her
people with the unreason and intensity
Of the bigot. He is displeased
with the peace, prosperity and progress
which he finds in the Congratulated de-
tendency, and checking and destroying
these things, would establish the terrible
order of things which existed while ZANE
was chief justice.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-26
THE FOREIGN CRIMINALS.

Ten days ago the commissioners found
among the immigrants landed at Castle
Garden seven ex-convicts, the passage
money for whom had been paid by the Lon
don Prisoners Aid society. The character
of the men would not have been discovered
had the fellows not come under special
labor contracts. Every week criminals
land without detention, the port authori-
ties being without the legal power to make
the search and inquiry into antecedents as
thorough as it should be. We let in the
criminals and paupers from Europe by the
thousand permitting old world govern
ments TO make of this country sort Of
Botany Bay. Our iails and poor
houses are filed with these often
sive foreigners, for whose support we
tax ourselves heavily. But the bars
are kept up and the gates securely locked
against the meek and humble Chinaman.
whose chief crime is mis- eternal industry.
Only now and then do we hear of China
mans violation of the law, and whenit
does occur the guilty chap is usually some
fellow crazed by drink. 1t is also fact
that nine out of ten offenses by the Chinese
are against members of their own race.
We don't advocate the admission of the
Aongolians who deprive white people of
opportunities to earn money, but for the
sake of consistency, and for the good of the
country, the exclusion should run against
the worst classes of immigrants first. Be
fore we keep out the comparatively molten
sive Chinese, we should close the door
against the criminal and pauper classes
Of Europe who are real evils. 1t is the duty Of
Congress to enact laws which will enable
Americans TO give themselves reasonable
protection against the men whom the
societies and relief boards are so eager to
get rid of that they will cheerfully pay
the steamer fare across the ocean. There
should be a law which would permit the
collectors or immigration commissioners TO
satisfy themselves that the incomers will
not be undesirable as residents or citizens
If the statutes were to require immigrants
to fetch with them verified certificates as to
their characters and that they will not be
come a charge upon the public, it would
not be asking too much.
But we need to look to Congress for no
material change from the present loose
system so long as our naturalization laws
are SO liberal and the rabble can be so
easily manipulated at the polls. It would
be courageous Congressman who would
propose ameasure which might offend even
the criminals!!among the foreign born voters,
and we haven't many courageous Congress
men in these days.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-26

the miserable wretchesin Europe who did
not more than half live, so poor were they.
Having convinced enough Of the voters
that he was telling the truth to carry the
election, and fasten a high protective tar
if on the country for an indefinite period,
Mr. CARNEGIE proceeds to prove the cor
rectness of his utterances and arguments,
by reducing the wages of his own en-
ployees, and driving them to seek work at
some industry less protected"
One of these days the laborers of this
country, who are also the voters, will rise
in their majesty and wipe out laws which
make such men as CARNEGIE millionaires
in few years by depriving poor laborers
of enough to eat and clothing them in rags.
The CARNEGIEs may consider themselves
fortunate if the oppressed people stop at
wiping out OF existence the Infamous
laws.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-26
REGISTER.

The bona fde residents Of this county
should understand that there is a scheme
on foot in the Liberal camp to carry the
August eiedtion. Registration has been
proceeding, nominally, for some time, and
the registrars or their deputies are SUP
posed 10 have visited every house, as the
law requires, for the purpose of rectifying
the lists 1t will not be even pretended
that this part Of the law has been complied
with, for there are too many dwellings in
this city whose thresholds have not been
crossed by registration officer. When the
lists are completed, however, it will be
found that no Liberal voter has been over
locked. If the members Of the Peoples
party expect OF want to vote next August,
they will not trust to the registrars TO
hunt them up, but will run down the regis
trars and see TO it that their names are
properly listed. Next week will be the
last for registration. Names not on the
list week from next Saturday, cannot be
placed there for this election. Gentlemen
of the Peoples party, you should bear in
mind that there will be more names of
Liberals on the lists than ever before, and
that the purpose of the Liberals is to carry
the election: these facts being impressed
on YOU, you should next be convinced that
nobody is going to put himself out of the
way to register you. The effort must be
all on your part. 1t will cost you but few
minutes to acquire the right to vote, but
YOU must take the minutes, as nobody else
can do the work for you.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-26

THE MILK in the BUTLER-PORTER cocoa
nut has come out. Sixteen years ago Sec
rotary robson sold to BEN BUTLER the
yacht America, for 5000, just after the
government had spent 81, 900 for repairs on
her. Admiral PORTER protested against
the sale, as the vessel was needed in the
navy, and also because she was worth
fully $4,000 Finding re could not pre-
vent the sacrifice, he stripped the yacht of
her new sails and other betterments.
BUTLER was mad, and being influential at
the time recovered everything which
PORTER had taken away. Ever since he
has been watching for chance to get even
with the admiral.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-26

HAVING RESTORED ZANE TO the chief jus
ticeship, it will be surprising if HARRISON
does not continue in the same line of will
fitness and make IRELAND marshal. 1t will
be remembered that ZANE framed a letter
to President CLEVELAND endorsing IRE
LAND most heartily, and asking for his ap
pointment. The new chief justice can not
dc. less than help his friend and benchman
back into office, and it is to be supposed
that ZANE will have more influence with
this administration than he had with the
last
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-26

WHATEVER MAJ be the outcome OF the
first state election in Montana, there can be
no dovN+ as to the result in Washington.
The h.r ablicans carried the territory last
fall, and have now elected forty-four Of the
seventy-fve delegates to the constitutional
convention. If the Democrats in Congress
had been more considerable Of Washington
four year ago and two years ago when the
territory was pleading to get into the
union, the new state would have been
Democratic at its first election. The party,
however, was neither just nor considerate.
1t wouldn't listen to the righteous appeal
for statehood, and the result viii be two
Republican Senators and one Republican
Representative, will sit in the present Con
gress from Washington.