The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-12-23
BRIGHT BITS.

GABBY-How did you get that dreadful cold
Snutfieton-Id the datural way, stoopid
Spose advertised for plads ad spedifgatiodsi
Ieras SiftingS
WHEN politician remarks that he is in the
hands OF his friends it can generally be assumed
that bis friends hands are in his pockets
Richmond Dispatch.
ORDERLY SERGEANT TO RECRUIT-By Jove,
you keep your mouth as wide open if you
We're Columbus the first time he saw New YORK.
FhegeHde Batter.
GRocER-How is it, Mr.. Pegasus, you always
pay your bill with postage stamps.
MIR. Pegasus-I am the editor of a magazine
devoted exclusively to poetry.-Tfnae.
PHYsIcIAN-Whati is your profession, SIR
Iatlent (pompously)-Im gentleman.
Physlcian-Wel you'll have to try something
else IL doeSn agree with you.-LJe.
SNoDGRAss Ito grocerl-Those apples l got
from you were not half bad
Grocer (cheerfuy)-Tm glad you liked them.
Yes; only about third of them were bad
Life.
Miss PENN before the hyacnth exnlDit)-Do
you like the display
MISS toote (Chicago)-I should giggle. This
hlgh clnder layout is immense Philadelphia
Inquirer.
WHICH JUsT REvERsEs MATTERs-The New
Workers are trying to put the electric wires I'M
der ground. The electric wires are continually
putting the New Workers under ground, Lip
EVERY MARRIED P1UTE is always glad of a
visit from his mother-in-law." Well, the gov
eminent might as well abandon the attempt to
clvilze the Indian. He is not built that way
NorriStoCH Herald.
YABsLEY-I would rather talk to a good. sensi-
BILE girl any time than dance.
Wlckwire-Well why don't you do so, then?
Gabsley (sorrowfully)-The won't listen to
me.-IerTe Hdute Empress
On LONG IsLAND.--Little Roger-Why is this
little town called hamlet, Uncle John?
Uncle John-After Shakespeare character of
that name Roger. He was melancholy man;
this IS melancholy place.-Puck.
How will You have it bound?" asked the
bindeg man who had brought in diction-
airy to nave new covers put on.
II think it would be appropriate to have it
speilbound," was the reply.-Pittsburg Chroni-
Gle.
MABE1-Let's play house; I'll be the mother.
George-Yes. and I'll be the father
Clara-And I'll be the cook.
Mabel and George indignantly)-Ye that's
just you! You always want to be the boss of
everything.
STARTED IN LIFE.-Mrs. Gabb, your son is
still at col eye, presume.
Mrs. Gabb-Mercy, no. He was graduated.
He haS?'
Yes indeed: and only last week he signed
with the Brooklyns. "-Ne1o York Weekly.
YOUNG LADY (co9fidentially, to guide in for
eigH arr sdloTy -hS luere any way IOf the I'M
initiated to distinguish betwe en- an old master
and a modern painting?
Guide Yes ma am. If the people in the pict-
ure have clothes on its by an old MASTERPIECE
York Weekly.
FIRST MERCHANT can't seem to get any
first-cass bookkeepers.
Second Merchant-Do as do. Employ none
but young ladies.
First Merchant-What good would that do?
Second Merchant-Why, they always pride
themselves on their tigures.-KeGr1leV Enter
prise.
TRAGEDIAN-I am to be led to execution you
say, and not allowed to say one word at the in
Justice of the act, and you, you who have par
taken of my bounty on former state occasions
prove recreant now, and carry hear-r-t as
false as hell itself.
Supe (his first appearance liar if yer
say so! Yer told me to do this yerself only
twenty minutes ago,-Life