The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-08
BRIGHT BITS.

SHE'S fairer than a lily,
Aud she's sWeeter than rose,
And she knocks the neighbors silly
When she wields the garden hose.
She lifts her skirts from danger
With her left hand, while ner righe
Grasps the nozzle and the stranger
Gets very pleasing sight.
The neighbors' eyes alItRinkle,
And their interest daily grows,
For they like to see her sprinkle,
And they like TO see the hose.
-SomerUille Journal.
TIE difference between missions and home
church work is this: At home, ministers live off
their congregations, but in mission fields the
congregations live of the missionaries. PITTS
burg Chronicle.
TtBBs-I hatter myself that honesty is printed
Grubbs-W ell-er-yes, perhaps-with some
allowance for typographical errors. -Burling-
ton Free Press.
FRESH BARBER Shaving customer)-Who is
that old hen going along the other side of the
street, with hustle on ner like boxing gloves
Customer rising deliberately and looking)-
That? On, she's my wife -LOloeH Citizen.
FREDDIE-Why, old chappie heard that the
sheriff sold you up yesterday; and vet here Won
are with your studs and eyeglass same as ever
Teddie-Oh. me boy. the law won't take awav
the tools OF ones trade, don tcherknow Time
THz man who is busy working doesn't have
time to read up on the subject of capital and
labor, and the man who puts in his time in
reading on that subject doesn't have time to
work That's why no one reaches a complete
comprehension of the difficulty. - Merchant
Traveller.
WHERE did you get that cake, Annie?"
Mother gave it to me-"
shes always a-giving you more'n she does
me-"
Never mind, Harry, she's going to put
mustard plasters on US o-night and I'll ask
her to let you have the biggest. Life
NOT Up IN TIE QUEENS ENGL1sH.-Ameri-
can I'm London stOre)-I wish to buy pair of
suspenders.
Shopkeeper- heard of such thing.
American-Isn't this a gentleman's furnish
ing storei
Shopkeeper-No, sir; this is a haberdashery
and dress supply shop. sir.
American retireS staggered.-LUe.
The Boy Pharmaceutical Man-Can pet
job to raise a little religious enthusiasm in
your church?
Deacon-Who are you?
Il am a boy preacher"
What is your age?"
'1Sixty five. -
sYou won't do. We don't employ any how
preachers under 70 this year Terds Stftings.
Our LATER wAsHINGroN.-Mr Phonyman-
You have got lovely garden Do you raise
many We getables?
horticultural Friend-Yes, indeed; my vege-
tables are a success. l had green peas a week
before anybody else in the neighborhood had
any.
George, let me congratulate you.''
why do you call me George?'
Because you are first in peas ''-Terds Sift-
i1tQS.
IT is well known fact that resemblances which
exist between persons are often intensified to a
pllzzlng extent when the persons in question
age photographed. A curious case in point has
lately been recorded in regard to Mr. Alma Tad
ema and Mr.. Du Maurler, between whom there
is striking resemblance. Mr.. Du Maurier was
one day at a dinner-party when a lady next
him expressed a surprise that he could ever be
mistaken for Mr.. Alma-Tadema, for she could
not see the slightest likeness Afterward she
said, oh bought your photograph the other
day; would you mind putting your autograph
to it, Mr.. Du Maurier said he had no objec-
ton, and the photograph subsequently was pro-
dueed. Mr. Du Maurier took it up loo 1ed, at it.
sighed, and laid it very gently on the table
That" said he, lis Mr.. Alma Tadema's por-
trait Photographic Ne,rs.