New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-02-02

asked friend after the service. awy. devoted 70
himself was the reply.
81 tell you, but worh Is scarce In tn towrr ga
rcd.nosed man TO an ACQUAINTANCE, o whom no Co
ali day yesterday looking for work, adj not soul
came around Offering to give mo ioD times don't
get better. I'll hayo TO send my fanils to the poor
house.n-lNorrstown Herald.
A car on the New-Haven road is namd EIsmeres
Its name is the only unorthodox thing bout It.
An Indignant Audience. --Trayfs-I suppose you saw
Footiight's new play brought out lastnight, didnt
you7
TravislCharacters all killed OF IN he last act,
Dc Smith-No. but some of 'em were ,retty badly
wounded. -(Burlington Free Press
@why do you speak In such low vo,er said
member of certain church 10 the paste. AweH1
he replied when first began to preachthoy called
the shouter, because spoke so loud. )ne Sunday
morning. just after finished tho prayer and Wills
the solemn hush was still upon the contogaton,
little fellow broke the silence with the question: @NA
is God deafp have never shouted since.
a new waltz in which you can lug foe ladies' p
named. II man who hugs three other lsdos In As
presence o. lady whom he has iust hugget does not
ind himself In pickle, then vinegar Is no logger
Waterbury Republican.
seventy-year-od man In iowa recently toke boa
bis legs in obogganing But no says he VII try Il
again as soon as he gets WELL II this pesky winter win
only hold out
Opera as She Is.--New Prima ponna--oh mother,
Proud Mother-Has Mr. Libretto. the great manager,
Yes it's ali fixed. He Is to pay all my expenses;
for board and clothes. you know every cent thsms
But how much a night3s
@oh. be don't pay me anything for sinnig. Pm
new to tho public, yet, you know
But you said your fortune was made.'
1t is. am to have half get for recommending
toilet soaps, face powders and Phiadelphis
gentleman who recently attended service It white
hall Chapel, London, gives the following inven.
tory Of what he saw: Two clergyinen, two pew
openers, two sections, two organsts, sixteen ciorsten,
seventy-seven lighted candies, and q congregation
of thirty.three, including children.
wcn, can't understand 1t at an,' remarked Mrs.
Ssnaegs after their caller, Mr. Watertlght bad taken
Can't understand whatp asked her huoand.
Mr.. Wstertight says he took saloon passage to
ZIONIST too"-tPlttsbulg Chronicle.
handsome Wesleyan chapel has Just been built
at Watford, England. At recent public meeting
held in the town Anglican clergyman decls,ed aat
this chapel, like all Nonconformis places of worship,
was built BY the devil, which led Dissenting work
ingman who was present to say that in that the
Dissenters had a splendid architect.
"who Is that rred-lookng man at the desk IN the
eorneri" inquired visitor az the headquarters Of the
agnslservice bureau He Is the man who Axes up
the Weather predictions so that when We announce
a cold and there comes a thaw can show
that q thaw was what the prediction really meant
He IS known as the hedging cIerk.'-schcago Tribune
The King of Spain VIII soon be sd enough to play
with tho good little boys next door, and break all their
plsythngs by virtue OF HIS divine right.
A NEWCOMERS Bad -Philadelphian--You an
very fond Of society, see DO you belong to ds
exclusive 400i
New-Yorker-N-o; unfortunately there Is dark stain
my social record
Indeed ~
Yes it's too true. once walked two squares On
Fitheve. with very dear friend Of mine, emineni
scientist, who had on suit OF readv-made clothiuzs
philadelphia Record.
In the last days of Napoleon there were as many
10000 Americans in Paris Now there no mors
than 1900.
Dickinson College student the othor day, in
spirit OF braggadocio, made bet Of SIS with another
young man tina. he could put two regulation billiard
balls In his mouth at time. He accomplished the
feat, and is now sadder but wiser person. The
balls stuck 10 his mouth, and all efforts 20 dislodge
the same proved futile, until finally NJ. ID. was
called I'm, who, In order. 10 get them out,
PEELED 10 cut slit IN his mouth on each SIDE Ths
other fellow paid the bet--iH Harrisburg Telegraph