The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-09-21
MEDICAL EXPEDIENTS.
Bogus Ailments Cured by Make
Believe Medicines.
Confessions of a COnscience-Stricken Doc
| tor-Isread Pills as Necessary for
Diseased Fancy as 0uinine for
the Ague.


'Charlatanry?" said a prominent
Chicago physician, ''if by that term is
meant imposture or deception, why,
then, truth compels the confession that
have at times placed myself under
that ban, and / doubt if there be any
physician who does not find it neces-
sary to deceive certain of his patients.
Understand, the deceit is for the good
of the patient, and sometimes saves
life.
I'VE often have to do with persons
of disordered minds, not insane ex-
-actly, but incapable of being reasoned
with touching their physical condition
If we suffered such to have their own
way they'd be forever filling them
selves with medicine, or they would OBJ
stinately reject what was offered them,
in either case imperiling their health
Deception, as it is termed. is, after all,
not deception with them, since they
are not in normal mental condition.
Some years ago | had patient, a
well-to-do-fellow, who, three or four
times a year, would send for me, al
ways by night. Reaching his house.
he in every instance declared he was
suffering from aggravated bilious collie.
His grooming might he heard half a
block away, This sort of thing went
on for three or four years when re-
morse preyed upon me so that l re-
solved to swindle him no more. He
was excellent pay, never grumbling at
any bill, and his faith in me was
supreme. Still knew | was guilty of
downright robbery. At the next sum-
mons, when | entered the room where
he lay, he was groaning at a terrific
rate.
o doctor. he cried, I'm worse off
than ever | was before. Isurely thought
I'd die before you reached me-
Il regarded him steadfastly for a
moment and then said:
'Mr. R, you are as well as /.
In fact, you've never been Sick
''The look of amazement on his face
/ shall never forget. AS he said subse-
QuentlY, he was in doubt as to whether
i was drunk or crazy. l told him the
simple truth. namely, that the only
remedy l had ever given him was
bread pills, pure and simple. The man
was possessed of a vivid imagination,
was of poetic temperament and at ir-
regular intervals had those imaginary
attacks, which he termed bilious collie.
There was no symptom of this malady
present in his case. | wished to refund
him the money he had paid me from
time to time. but he refused, declaring
that he was so rejoiced at his cure that
he was more than recOmpensed. Had
/ sought to undeceive him in the first
year or two, should have failed. He
would have dismissed me in hot indigna-
tion and continued one physician after
another until he found one who would
dose him and suffer him to pursue the
pleasure of illness. Having gained his
confidence, it was no difficult task
to rid him of his hallucination.
There are thousands Of people. hypo-
chondriacs among the number, who
only find peace of mind in nursing
fancied aches of body. They like to be
cOddled, nursed, petted and spoiled and
invalids if surrounded by those who
love them are sure to be we'll taken
care of. To be sure these victims of
fancied disorder really believe them
selves i'll and undergo in imagination
the aches and pains incident to the
maladies they assume their own; but
these aches and pains are overcome by
the comforts by which they are sur
rounded and the incense offered to their
consequence"
But do you deceive really sick peo-
ple?"
20, yes" said the physician with a
smile. 81 recall case now. A man
living hard by marsh entered my
Office one morning. His face wore the
PeCnliar color and expression of one
who is afflicted with what is called the
shakes in portions of the South. 1
mean ague and fever. See yere, doc
tor, he said, Pm orful sick man, m
1t pestered me dreadful to get up here.
/ want so M thin ter git me well, but /
wants none er yer pizen stuff
al have in my Office a very limited
supply Of drugs, upon which l some