The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-03-20
SOME CHOICE ADS.
Wants of Advertisers rs Interpreted by
Gotham Soothsayer.

ers need apply.
Groom wanted; one who has never
had bride preferred.
A youth with an ambition to rise
would like situation as elevator boy.
A drummer wanted for brass band.
No commercial tourist need apply.
Wanted, cashier. Parties liable to
be affected with kleptomania not re-
CURED.
A poor young man, with very
healthy appetite, would like employ
ment as feeder.
Bill: Big house at corner. But
postpone at present; copper suffering
from insomnia.
Wanted, undertaker's assistant.
Must not be jovial-looking man.
Pessimist preferred.
Railroad stock for sale. including
water, suitable for western farms need
ing irrigation.
Lost, a savage young bull pup. A
large reward will be paid to finder
who doesn't return it to owner.
Wanted, spectacle-makers. Parties
in the habit of making spectacles of
themselves not required.
A young man from St. Louis would
like to obtain employment on city
press. Has worked on a hay-press.
Wanted, by a family on Fifth avenue,
astronomical director. No common
cooks need make application.
Ayoung man would like job as stage
manager. Has experience. having
been conductor of a Fifth avenue
stage.
Wanted, for my mammoth show, a
respectable young colored man of good
character for wild African cannibal.
P. T. B.
This is to say that I, John Smith, OF
New York, am not the John Smith
lately convicted OF burglary in San
Francisco.
A tirst-class lightning-rod agent
wanted. Gents of modest. retiring
nature need make no application for
this position.
Wanted, q very strong, muscular
man as carver in cheap restaurant.
One who has had experience in wood
carving preferred.
Walter-No, sir, I will not return
to you. would rather die than live
again with a husband who requires a
knife to eat his pie.
M1KE-We meet tonight to divide
swag. No danger. Detectives only
have twenty-five clews. MICK.
Employment wanted as juror. Ad-
vertiser, who can neither read nor
write, has resided for last two years in
asylum for the weak-minded.
A young man, employed for last
three years as footman in gentleman's
family, desiring change, would like
to obtain situation as yardman in some
hotel.
Two dollars per pound will be paid
for the remains of Thomas Jones,
quarryman, who when last seen had a
nine-inch dynamite cartridge in his
hand.
A pore young man, the only support
of his ayged muther-in-lore, would
like sitchwashun as prufe-reeder.
Hasn't had eny experience, but is
willin' to lern.
ARTHUR-For heavens sake don't
call this evening. The gas bill came
in yesterday and ever since pa has per-
sisted in wearing his thick-soled boots.
CLARA.
Count de le Gammonern, who sud-
denly left his hotel without giving
clerk usual notice, can have trunk and
the brickbats it contains by merely
paying his bill.
A young gentleman having written
passion poem of three hundred lines,
will dispose of same to highest cash
bidder Magazine editors, etc., in an
swering must inclose stamp for reply.
MARGAR ET-Your outrageous de-
mand that / arise and build fire in
morning is the last straw that broke
the ass's back. [ will never see your
face again. FREDERICK.
An American gentleman, with only
limited knowledge OF the German
language, intending shortly to visit
Cincinnati, would like to engage an
interpreter to accompany him.
Wanted, first-class electrician to
assist sheriff in some of the more
light and delicate duties of his Office.
One who has no foolish prejudice
against capital punishment preferred.
If Mr. Abscond, late of this city, but
who now is reported to be one of the
most enthusiastic members of the
Canadian Anti-Annexation League,
will return Doodle all will be forgiven
and forgotten.
A young and beautiful lady, who has
been divorced from three husbands,
and who will shortly commence suit
against a well-known gentleman for
breach of promise, is open to an en-
gagement as leading lady in theatrical
company.-N. Y. Evening Sun.
CareIessness Of Druggists.
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