Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1889-11-08
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
The EdItoriai Burdens Which = Genius ,


The Editorial Burdens Which = Genius Of
tho Press Has to Issar Gracetully.
d We extract the following ftafns from the
last issue Of The Arizona Kicker:
Il 'rHEvS Will KNOW MoRE.-- combina-
tion calling itself the Acme Opera company
Of Chicago. gave show Of some sort at
Reynolds hall last Friday night. No free
tickets were sent to this office, and when We
sent our half breed roller boy over to the
manager with a note asking him why in
Texas be had neglected such an important
duty. no returned word that The Kicker
could Kick aud he hanged to it. We there
fore clicked We hired Cooper's hall for the
same night, gave q free dance, and the Acme
Opera company opened to an audience com
posed Of the landlords cross eyed boy and
two Old half breeds who thought somebody
was going to be scalped.
There's nothing mean about US, We sim.
ply want what is duo to the profession, and
what has been granted It from time inn,e
morrill,. When an amusement combination
sets out to ignore us and make US sing small,
somebody will certainly hear something drop
before getting to the top Of the hill.
Nor SAYING A Vocabulary Of our sub
scribers are asking why Tho Kicker has moth.
ing to say in favor Of either Of the local tick
cts now in the field. There are two reasons
First, because we were not nominated on
either ticket; and, secondly, because bigger
gang Of rascals were never up for office. We
wanted to run for mayor. 1t is no use being
over modest about such things We are bet
ter fitted for the position than any other man
| 10 town. The office should have been glad to
| seek US. 1t didn't do SO, and so we sought it.
Weshould have filed the position with credit
to all, but the gangs wanted a tool, and so
| they nominated Doc Burrows and Hank
Jones to head the two tickets. Neither Of
| these men will ever serve Within one month
We viii! have both Of them back at Joliet to
! serve out their unexpired sentences
We tave been warned that we must come
| out and support one ticket or the other, or go
to the wall Begin your wall business, gen
| temen, as soon as you please. When you
Town US you have got to beat grand aggre-
| cation Of newspaper, grocery, feed store,
| harness shop, butcher shop and knitting fac
| nead, and each doing fine business.
| NOT JUST YET.-The Tom Cat Silver
Mining company sent US certificate Of stock
Of the face value Of $500 last week and asked
| US to editorially mention the fact sthnt the
|
zas Of the age for investors We can't con.
scientiously do it yet We want to wait
awhile and see whether we are to be assessed
| or the stock or not, and we'd like to hear Of
! some one who has received dividend. We
used to take everything in silver stock that
| came along, and puff up their old swindles
| without stint, but we have made change OF
base In this respect. We found that q com
| pany which would beat the public would also
beat us.
THEY TOOK EXCEPTION. Tall Bill, of the
! Gem Saloon; Ohio George, of the Arcade
| Poker Rooms, and Lovely Jim, Of the Red
| Front Sink of Iniquity, took exception to our
kindl y remark in last weeks Issue that whisky
and poker were trying to run the town, and
they laid for us accordingly. On Friday af-
ternoon we were examining the carcass of q
big jackass rabbit killed over in the gulch by
Sam Andrews, and on exhibition in front of
Darises' butcher shop, when the three worth
les above named approached and signifed
their intention Of cooking our goose, We
had them covered by our gun In five seconds,
and we held them in line with hands up for
! full five minutes as an exhibition. When
| they had been disarmed We allowed them to
! sneak away.
! We don't claim to own this town, and we
never set out to run it, but we propose to
talk in plain English on all subjects and
guard the public interests to the best of our
ability. If the three parties named do not
subside at once, we shall encourage crowd
to turn out with rope some frosty evening
and pull their heads chock up against limb.
He STILL LIvEs.-A Nebraska subscriber
writes to inquire if there is any other weekly
| published in this burg There is. We have
a chattel mortgage on everything but the
red headed, cross eyed, lop shouldered coyote
who edits it, and can close him UP at any
minute; but we let him run on in order to
keep him of the town. We rather like his
audacity as well. He prints $50 copies, none
of which can be read on account of the poor
press work, and yet no claims the largest cir
culation in the known world. He knows we
own the very chair he sits in, but yet he de-
votes four columns each week to abusing us
personally.
Yes, he still lives, poor old unfortunate.
But we are going to give him rope for the
winter II he was bounced out he might
have to run for the legislature. Free
| Press.