The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-07-11
POINTS or ETIQUETTE
Advice Easy to Reme n,ber and 10 Pr.ctin

Auvico EASY to Remember and to Practice
In an Emergency.
In the mad whfrl of tho cotillon, IL
you wear ready-made clothing bought
from al irresponsible dealer, and hear
3 bet that don't harmonic with the
string on the bass fiddle, it is entire
~ correct and proper to not forward
and back according to the commands
OF the figure-caller, but to back straight
ahead without baking until you reach
the wall. when a pin neatly utilized
nay cover your embarrassment and re.
treat. People who smoker under, such
circumstances should be put outside tho
pale OF good society.
When invited out to dinner and YOU
inadvertently get huge mouthful of
mince pie that is hot enough to melt
the solder off a gas-pipe. tangled up in
your epig!ottis. do not act as il you had
the whooping cough, but rise calmly
and with a slight-of-hand movement
toss the offending morsel behind the
majolica dog in the corne:, meantime
patting his head as ,hougl you thought
him alive This graceful act never
fails to win the heart of your hostess,
who thinks you intend her faithful
friend to partake of the festivities.
Some writer on etiquette, good
many years ago, said that it was per-
fectly proper to eat fried chicken with
tho fingers. have often noticed peo-
pie seize on a wing and rip it open like
they would tear yard of clothing ma
terial of bolt of calico and SO the
cracking of the crazy bone was audible
all over the dining-room. 1t is true
that some fried chickens require heroic
treatment, but when an apprentice in
etiquette tries to jerk. the goose-hesh of
the second joint of Louis XIV. hen
and squirts a stroa'1 of gravy into the
eye of his neighbor it does seem that a
new code regarding the best manner of
SCATTERING the remains of hard-boiled
fowl should be introduced.
When the sheriff Of the county serves
q subpoena on you, it is considered in
good taste to attend his reception with
out further invitation on his part
Some sticklers on politeness, however,
who find that it will prevent their wit
Messing ball game. go to tho extreme OF
sending around a physicians certificate
to the effect that they are indisposed
from tho influence Of the sportive ele-
ments.
Don't use snuff if your false teeth are
not strictly adhesive. l once heard OF
u case in which this rule was not OBJ
served, when the transgrcssOr, in q
thoughtless moment, nearly knocked
tho oye out of a twenty -fve-dollar King
Charles spaniel
No one but boor will snore in the
Volapuk language in a church where a
sermon is being delivered in English.
Observance of the harmonies is one OF
the greatest traits of the true gentle.
man. People who have enlarged. Ro-
manesque nasal chords will be inter.
ested in an invention which a friend OF
mine is getting up, which he calls the
Sure Snore-Killcr. 1t is a phonetic
arrangement connected with pillow
sham holder, and when the air yibra-
tions are four lines below the clef, tc
use Il musical term, the holder drops
and hits the sleeper across the bridge
Of the nose. Four caveats and a mum.
Der of legal retainers have already
been fled
Don't play practical jokes on spits
dog whose tail is done up like the let
ter Q.
When you order meat from you,
butcher don't ever use the term "lim1
Of mutton" He will think that yo,
never intend paying for it.
In all cases of doubt about the mino,
points of etiquette, q strong bluff on &
weak hand will almost always win.
Rochester Union.