The Princeton union., 1889-08-15
"A WEDDING GARMENT.

well enough to forego all feelings of
delicacy and reserve in the matter
often tell me that I am one of the
leanest young men they ever saw in
their lives. When l walk the streets
] am grieved by the remarks Of a GER
tain class of small boys who have
not had proper home training. These
remarks are of a comparative nature
II being one object of comparison,
and the lamp posts by which am
passing the other.
I'll go ten blocks without hearing
anything said about <tbean poles''
and Giving skeletons l am glad.
Being just six feet three in height
does not add particularly to the
beauty of my appearance.
Let no nesuppose because l write
SO calmly of my leanness that am
not sensible regarding it. am.
The day l overheard a young lady
say at a picnic that I looked like q
section of a railroad bridge was the
saddest day of my life.
TO overcome as far as possible the
grotesque appearance of my excess
sive lack Of flesh, always wear
'<heavy weight" goods, and no tailor
ever secures my patronage who does
not OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES the art of
padding"
confess to a certain degree of
vanity regarding my personal ap-
pearance and when l made the bliss
full discovery that was about to be
married I gave no little thought to
the appearance should present on
an occasion, when, more than at
any other time in my life, SO many
persons would be gazing upon me.
read books on etiquette to know
if under any circumstances a man
might be properly married with his
overcoat and two suits of clothes on,
but to my distress found that this
was allowable only in cases of elope-
ment, and as my wife had set her
heart on a church wedding with
everybody in full dress, / gradually
forced myself into the conviction
that the overcoat and one suit of
clothes would have to be discarded.
A man OF my "build'' looks posi-
lively and irredeemably awful in the
conventional, clinging, black, light
weight garments of which most
wedding suits are made. When I
see such a man thus arrayed I am
convinced that there is really some
thing in the Darwinian theory.
But, as it had to be so. was mar
ried in the garments best calculated
to make my attenuation glaringly
apparent. My friends were kind,
however, and said nothing to cast
cloud on my happiness-all but my
sister Nell. She owed me a grudge
dating back to the days of our child
hood, and, as she put her arms
around my neck and kissed me, she
whispered in my ear:
ooh, Tom, you look awfully shoe
stringy in thatsu
A separation OF four years made it
possible for me to speak to Nellwhen
we met again, but l sometimes fear
that we can never be the dear friends
we once were. ... .s.ss-.s 81. H..
After our marriage my wife and I
went Immediately to a far distant
western city, in which we made our
home. / was too poor to throw or
give away my destested wedding
garments, but 1 soon reduced them
to;a state of great sha bbiness by
wearing them under my overcoat
when about my work as a reporter
oniadaily paper. We were not So
ciety people, and had no idea that
lwould ever again need a suit of
that kind. One day when I went
hometo dinner my wife said:
See here, Tom, it's a shame for
you to be wearing that handsome $75
suit out in that way. Don't you sup
pose you could sell it and get some
more suitable and cheaper garments
Tor every day wear?"
l.hear take occasion to say that
my wife is very economical as well
as practical and sensible woman.
Sometimes / think she knows more
than know.
] told her that Iwould think about
her suggestion. A wise man will
never seem to come into immediate
accord with the opinions of his wife.
1t is always best to hang back and
pretend that you have little sense
OF your own, even though you know
that you have not.
At II O'Clock that night, as was
closing my desk at the office prepar-
atory to going home, the managing
editor of my paper said:
''See here, Dixon; that report you
wrote of the trouble up at the Chris
label mine was uncommonly well
done, and will be talked about to-
morrow. / think I can get your
salary raised on the strength Of it.
In the meantime, here's a little of
something to show you that the pa
per appreciates good work"