Morning journal and courier., 1889-02-13
RESCB ED.

Rescuer (to girl overheard )-'fGive mt your hand" Girl-"Ask papa first" Sinks. Town Topics.
 Mr. S.-"Shall we call on the Wetherbeel to- night, my dears" Mrs. S.-"No; I have nothing to wear" Mr. S.-."Oh, then vel go to the opera. life. When it is one minute after o'clock it is past B. When it is 30 minutes after 8 it is only half past 8. Here is another discovery to make the world pause and feel sad.-De- troit Free Press.
 hears grand opera for the first time)- ''Hold on thar, you fellerl Kain't ye wait till the lady gits through before ye begin to hollers"-Harper's Baxar.
 A Good ggestion-'James," said the museum keepers wife, ''there is good deal in the papers nowadays about these New South Whales. I think we ought to get one of them, even if it is only stuffed. .'-Har- per's Bazar.
 "Gentlemen of the jury" said counsel in an agricultural case, "there were 36 hogs in that lot-3s. I want you to remember that number-36 hogs-just three times the num- Der that there are in the jury bo1."-Albany Law Journal.
 Deacon White-"Sister Jones, what seems to be de mattah wid Brudder Jonesi" Mrs Jones-"De doctor says he's got de remittent fever, sah." Deacon White-''If dat's de case, please ax him, while de fever am on him, to remit for dat hog he bought fum me 1as' fall."
 "These old-fashioned forfeit games are well enough in their way" said Dudeling, 'tbut when you get glass ring back in place of the solitaire you gave up in moment of confidence, you really began to desire some more genuine ement."-Jewellers' Weekly.
 A Fact-Amy Williams-"Ruth, dear, won't you walk up to the corner with mel I don't like to go alone" Ruth Ward-'Im never alone, Amy. The Lord is always with me-" Amy-"Well, Ruth, you walk up to the corner with Ele, and then you viii have company back. ."-Boston Beacon.
 There was no occasion.-Mamma (to Flos- sic, who had been lunching with little friend)-s1 hope you were very polite, Flos- sic, at the table, and said, Yes, please and No, thank youl'" Flossie-"Well, didn't say No, Thank you,' because you see took everything. Philip H. Welch, in the Epoch
 Another great artist. t.-'What wonderful painter Reubens wasl" remarked Merritt at the art gallery. "Yes," assented Cora; ttIt is said of him that he could change laugh ing face into sad one by single stroke. /" s'Why." spoke up little Johnnie in disgust, "my school teacher can do that. at."-Harpers s Bazar.
 Yes, daughter, yes; you do right to model in clay, to paint the lights and shadows of dyspepsia on china and fire your work That's what I'd do with it if got the chance. Pot tery is the oldest industry in the world. Adam was made of clay, and Cain got up the first kiln. Accent heavy on the ''n. n."-Bur- dette.
 "Young man, do you ever gamble?" said a solemn looking old party on the train. ''Old boy, if you want to spring 8 monte layout on me you might just as we'll Jet up at once" " replied the unregenerated youth, and the good old colpoteur was so shocked that he forgot to hand the young man single tract. -Terre Haute Express.
 A Kentucky gentleman awoke one night to find masked burglar, with a loaded pis- tol, standing at his bedside.
 'I want money or your life"
 ''Idiot! Do you suppose I'd be here if ! had moneys Don't you know I'd be at the Gently Dreaming saloon enjoying myself If had moneys Go back to the asy1um?'- Texas Siftings.
 It was at 8 ball. The night was warm. General Greedy, grave, sedate and dignifed, stood talking with lady. The latter sud denly struck the general playfully with her fan and exclaimed: Speaking about the weather, general, answer me this. If 320 above zero is freezing point, what is squeezing point?" General Greedy, who is one of the most modest men living, replied with some embarrassment that he did not know. "Why, two in the shade, of course' -Pick-me-up.