Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-05-30
The Errors Of History.
A Striking list Of Misstatements
About the Past.
William Tell a My tn, Joan of Arc a
Wife, and historians All Liars.
Lippincott's Magazine.


chair OF modern history at Oxford be-
cause he said he considered history
'largely Ge." Napoleon learned it a
fable agreed upon. Dumas called it self
handed truth. It is said that Raleigh,
having failed in an endeavor TO ascertain
the rights of quarrel that fell out
beneath his window, exclaimed against
his own folly in endeavoring to write the
the true history of the world. But this
very anecdote has been doubted, and so
cast another shadow upon the credibility
of accepted facts. a similar story is
told of Leopold Won Ranke. While col
Letting facts for his history, & similar &C
cident occurred in his native town. A
bridge broke down, and some persons
were swept away by the river. Won
Rsnke inquired into the details of the
catastrophe. ~ saw the bridge fall"
said one Of the neighbors; "a heavy cart
had just passed over and weakened it.
Two men were on it when it fell, and a
soldier on a white horse" 81 saw it fall"
declared another, "but the cart had pas
sed over it two hours previous. The
foot passeng ers were children, and the
rider was civilian on a black horse"
"Now," argued Won Ranke' ''it is impos-
sIble to learn the truth about an accident
which happened at broad nooday only
"a hours ago, how can declare any fact
70 be certain which is shrouded in the
darkness of 10 centuries"
There is no evidence that Romulus
ever lived, that Tarquin outraged Lucre
tia, that Brutus slammed idiooy and
condemned his sons to death, that MI
sius Scavola thrust his hand into the fire,
that Cloe'ia swan the Tiber, that Hora-
titus defended bridge against an army.
Coriolanus never allowed his mother to
intercede for Rome. The number of
Xerxes' army has been grossly exaggera-
ted, and it was not stopped at Thermopy-
lac by 300 Spartans, but by 1000, or even
as some authors compute, 10000. The
siege of Troy is largely a myth, and, even
according to Homer's own account, Helen
mus have been go years old when Paris
fell in love with her. Nay, other scep-
tics have attacked the credibility of the
later Greek and Roman history. They
have deprived diogenes of his tub, Sap
pho of her lover, Rhodes of his Colossus.
They have asserted that Portia did not
swallow burning Goals, that Caesar never
crossed the Rubicon, that he never said
to the pilot, "You carry Caesar and his
fortunes" nor cried out, GET tn, Brute!"
as he fell at the bzse of Pompey's statue,
that Phillip never told Alexander, "Seek
another kingdom, for Mace dom is too
small for thee" Chemists have proved
that vinegar will not dis solve pearls nrr
cleave rocks, in spite of the tabled ex-
ploits of Cleopatra and Hannibal. Nero
was not a monster; he did not kill his
mother nor fiddle over burning Rome.
Tiberios was pretty good fellow. And,
indeed, all the Roman Emperors who
were successfully put out OF the way were
hardly treated by servile historians who
sought to cater to the popular taste,
Even modern European history has
been discre6ited, Arthur is undoubtedly
fable. Charlemague has been so be-
clcuded by legend that it is diff suit to
separate the true from the false; but it is
quite certain that his peladins are as
mythical as Arthur's knights. Alfred
never allowed the cakes to burn, nor VEN
tured into the Danish camp disguised as
a minstrel. William Tell was a myth
Fair Rosamond was not poisoned by
Queen Eleanor, but died in the odor Of
sanotlty in the convent of Godstow. Blon-
del, the harper, did not discover the pris-
on in which Richard III. was confined.
Charles TX, did not fire on the Haguenots
with an arquebus from the window of the
tholomew. Charles Y. did not celebrate
his own obsequies in his lifetime. Clar-
epce was never drowned in butt of
malmsey, nor was Richard III. starved to
death in Pontefract Castle, The story of
Abelard and Heloise has been strongly
doubted, and question has been raised
as to whether Joan of Arc ever suffered
the punishment that made her a martyr,
though details of her execution and last
moments are found in the civic records
of Roaen. Charles Monselet quotes a
paragra oh from the Mercure of 1853 an
nouncing that certain documents recent
ly discovered led to the conclusion that
Joan of Arc had been married, and that
some unfortunate victim must have been
sacrificed in her place in Rouen. The
documents consisted of an attestation
made by Father Riguer to the effect that
''tive years after tbs Judgment of Joan of
Arc, on May 20, Joan the Maid visited
Metz. On the same day her brothers
called to see her. They thought she had
been burned, but when they saw her they
recognized her at one. They took her
with them &c Boquelon." The old priest
added as proof of what he had advanc-
ed copy of the original cotraot of mar
rage between "Robert des Armoyses and
Joan CT ARC, OInerW-Se BnOWn as Gne
Maid of Orleans"
One of the most famous historical edi
fees is the Bridge of Signs in Venice,
which connects the Doges palace with
the State Pris )ns. The name was popu-
larly given 1T, through what Howells calls
''that opuience OF compassion which en-
aoles the Italians to pity even rascality
| in difficulties" For, in spite of Byron,
it cannot be associated with any roman
tic episode of history except the story of
Antonio Foscarini, since it was not built
until the end of the sixteenth century,
and the prisoners who passed across it to
iudgm ent were mere vulgar criminals,
like tn eves ana murderers.
Che famous Round Tower at Newport,
which popular tradition, confirmed by
the genius of Lougfellow, has associated
with the vikings, is but an ordinary wind
mill. The MaeIstrom is an insignificant
eddy. The car of Juggernaut does not
crush believers under its wheels, except
in rare cases of accident.
Edouard Fourier in France and Mr..
Hayward in England have shopn that
almost every celebrated historical 8. ying
has either In course of time and through
force of repetition become falsiied, or
had from the beginning been deliberate
ly invented.
The Duke of Wellington at Waterloo
never uttered the famous words, ~ p,
guards, and at them!" When questioned
| on the subject he wrote: "What l may
have said, and possibly did say, was,