Morning journal and courier., 1889-06-21
SETTLED.

Every claim has been taken up in Ok1a- homa. That settles it.-Chicago Globe. It is not necessary to go away for the sum- mer, it will come right to you.-Washingto Critic.
 A landscape devoid of grazing cattle Is an illustration of t'scene and not d."-Glens Falls Republican. "But, my dear, what has that old man to recommend himself aside from his richest" s'Heart disease. Life.
 Great Statesman-"Do you think the poli- ticians of to-day are any worse than the poli- ticians of hundred years agoa" Eminent divine-"Um-er, no; only there's more of you."-Puok.
 Old maid-"Oficer, I want you to raid that club on the corner" Oficer-stSame old gamel Did they stare at you?" "No, they pulled down the blind when went past.''- Texas Siftings.
 Politeness Varies.-When a distinguished citizen enters your home, you do not ask him to "take seat on the foor," but if he should visit Congress or the Legislature, 3 it is considered just the thing to do.-Boston Post.
 A Plain Case-'Humph, you can tell that Crompton hasn't lived long in the country" s 'fHow?" "Why, he's all the time talking ' about moving the lawn. If he'd lived there any time he'd get down to tcutting the grass. ," k-d8Ep6ES baZh1s
 Ambiguous-Mrs. Pilgrin-"Now tt ,se you mean brothers" Mrs. Pilgrin-"No, \ sir; mean jes' what say; they air my sis \ ter's. She lives nex' door in the red house" " k-Harper's Bazsr.
 Missionary Writing Home-"The small number of us here is hardly capable of sup plying the great need in these barbarous islands. Many of the cannibals are unmis- takably hungry. Send no more missionar- ! Sies.-Fliegende Blatter.
 A Close Competition-"My papa's got some new horses and nice new brougham. :"
 "Well, my papa's going to buy 8 new yacht. " "And my mammals got lovely new piano. '' ] "Well-w-wel1, my mammals got cook
 that has stayed two weeks!"-Life.
 Little Bobby-''Ma, will I go to heaven
 boy you will" "Will you go. too" 1T hope so, Bobby" "And will pat" ''Yes, we will all be there sometime" Bobby didn't seem
 altogether satisfied, but after some thought he said)-"I don't see how I'm going to have
 much fun."-Texas Siftings.
 A Holiday for Her.-Nrs. Dsbit-."I hear that your office is to be closed early on Sat-
 urdays during the summer, John." Mir. Debit-"Yes, dear; and Pm jolly glad of 1t, tool" Mrs. Dsbit-"Well, now, don't you think you'll have chance to balance up your books Saturday afternoons, instead of
 keeping me worrying half the nightF-Puck.
 "Why do you not shut the door, my deara''
 asked her brute of 8 husband ss the wind blew on him through crack. "The damp fness has swelled it." she said, "so that 1t
 strikes the frame and mars the new cherry
 tint that I have just had put on." "Ah, I
 see. The door is only sjar to preserve the | cherry jamb. In that case it needs to be air ! tight" said her brute of a husband as he ! threw himself against it and forced 1t into place.-Waif.
 Diner at restaurant-"You may give me another plate of that duck, Mr. Feeder, an- ! other dfBh of asparagus, some more macaroni and another cup of coffee.' Proprietor
 "But, my dear sir, you have already had a full dinner; of course you will pay extra if f-" "Of course I won't. You were at my concert last night and you made us give
 every number three and four times. The ! doorkeeper didn't tell me that you saw him
 after the concert and paid him for half a dozen extra admissions. Boston Transcript.