Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1889-04-07
TWO SMALL TAsLEs
n. OLD Jol. ..a IN. uun,or... and tn.
ALory and the NaHrpapac Nnn.

1As Old Joke and the HunaorAt. and the
Story And the Newspaper Asa.
An Old Joke onco hobblcd into the
padded room infested by tho Profess
sional Funnymani OF a Newspaper.
while writing his daily grist Of originM
selections from the ancient humorists.
This Compiler OF the P~leasantrlcs OF
the Past was busy Revamping n Joke
which the late Joseph Miller. Esquire.
introduced on the last puge OF his
justly celebrated work merely to "Rll
up" but ho glanced UP chocrfully MS
the Old joke dragged himself in.
Sir" said the Old Joke. in feoblo
accents. II um cast out aud deserted
by NIL; ! did not even get into tho
Boston almanacs this year; take me in
and use me In to-morrow's issue, or I
diei"
And that I burst not do" replied
tho Humorous Party. Though | am
a man OF Ancient IIumor and nc
quainted with aged wit. still l Gun not
use you; 'twould cost me my job; evon
now they say the proprietor turns from
my column to tho obituaries for reliof.
You know you were old whom the
foundation Of Romo was laid"
II was cohtelnporanoous with our
first parents in tho Graden Of Eden"
answered the Old Joke. proudly. l um
the Wandering Jew among jokes. Still
1t Is hard to DO left without n place to
lay my head mt this late day"
ut is" admitted the Jester, putting
his mucilngc brush i'll tho inkstnnd.
six months ago." unused the Old
Joke. half speaking to himself, III hud
hope OF getting another engagement
with the London Punch. But IL can
not be- nm cast out from my natural
home"
cit is sad" returned tho Jocularity
Gentleman. ''but | will toll you what
you can do. Go TO ono OF our popular
a~ftcr-dinner speakers. Congressman
orretired army officer preferred. get on
his staff and you will DO all right lie
will toll you on nll occasions, md
newspapers that scOrn you now will
print you as new. or tho strength OF
your patrons Endorsement"
A moment later the Old Jokes
crutch was heard sounding along the
passngeway which led to the elevator.
At another time. n Newspaper Man,
who had ceased being n journalist
nearly forty years before. was busy az
his desk. He had that night
edited a pago OF Stuff, written
two columns OF Good Matter. and
reviled his pipe twenty times
because it would not draw. He
was abusing the tobacco. saying that
1t wns inferior to that ~procurable bo-
forc tho war. when n certain Story
entered.
Good evening" said tho Story.
"Hello," snid the Shupcr of Public
Opinion.
81 am n story" said the caller, ..be-
longing to Mr.. Jags Giblets. tho cole
DRAFTED parlor and platform humorist.
My chief does not write his stories
for publication. but thinks up good
things like me, ind nightly tolls
them to largo audiences. l am
tho leading story in his collcc.
ton. and l may say. and say It modest
ly. that have brought him much rep.
utntion and n large barrel Of scads.
Thousands have Dared over mo and
pronounced my owner the funniest
man on earth. Honestly, now, am ]
not n good storyP"
al can truly say hat / think YOU
are" replied the manipulation OF the
lever that moves the world. rs no nut
q dispatch about n man who voted for
Genera Harrison's grandfather in the
waste basket; Eyes. you are u most
excellent story. the best, I believe.
that ever heard. Indeed, l wore but
an u~ngrnteful father should / say
otherwise. for wrote you myself over
thirty years ngo. or course you nre
good; never write any thing that
isn't good"
Two hours later. when tho Man with
the T%hrobbing Brain first looked up,
no noticed no marked absence OF q
certain Story.-N. Y. Tribune.