Morning journal and courier., 1889-05-15
ONCE.

George (nervously) )-''Do you love mel Will you marry mel" Almira-''Net so fast George. One at time, please."-Epoch.
 Teacher-"Tommy Tucker may tell the class what a plagiarist is" Tommy-"A man who writes plays."-Utics Observer.
 Curious Individual-'Why is it, Patrick, that you locate your church on this noisy corner," Patrick-"Sure, it's noise we loike whin we're maxim our confessions. ."-New York Weekly.
 "Papa." asked the small boy, "why do some dudes only wear one eyeglassa"
 ''Because, my son." answered his father, "they are not able to comprehend all that they might see with both eyes. s."-New York Herald.
 A physician says: "Girls in feeble health should take 8 tramp through the woods or should object to be taken through the woods or fields every day by girls in feeble health. -Binghamton Republican.
 Father-"Bobby, are you too lame and tired to walk mile and half to the cir ouss" Bobby-"No, indeed, father" Fath- er-"Well, then, you will go out in the yard and run the lawn mower until bedtime. I've no circus money this year."-Omaha World.
 When we hear a man on 8 morning news paper say he is overworked it makes us very tired. He works but seven days in the week, and has all the rest of the week for rest. Some men want the earth with nickel plated dog collar about its neok.-Nebraska State Journal.
 Fond lover (after long delayed proposaD Perhaps I've been too sudden, darling.
 Darling girl (regaining her composure with a mighty effort)-Yes, George, 1t is very, very sudden, but (and here she became faint again. it is not too sudder.-Texas Siftings.
 Almost off the track.-Miss Amy Tour "Don't you find the glare of the footlights very annoying, MT. Hammef' MoCready Hamme-"Oh, no, not at all! But the glare of the headlights, however-eh, but as you were saying, the life of histrionie favorite, tc"-Puck.
 just made on the back porch to cool off and . tramp came along and stole it." Dyspep- tic Husband-"Are you sure it was tramp who stole itt' "Yes; why." 70, thought it might have been an escaped lunatic."- Yankee Blade.
 "No, sir," said the editor to the poet, "Your work is rank plagiarism. Now get out. We'll, what do you wanta' he added, addressing the humerist. 'I have some get all the original humor want out of my exchanges. Good morning. "- Harper's Bazar.
 The income of John D. Rockefeller, the oil king, is estimated at $20, ,OO0, ,0eO, and severy night he goes to bed he is $54, ,794 richer than he was the night before" This must be 8 great inducemsnt for him to go to bed every night. There are thousands of men in this country who would be richer than they were the night before if they were to go to bed be- fore night.-Nerristown Herald. sI try to be man of my word, he said ss he entered Cadillac eating house yesterday,
 "but can't always do as promise. "What do you want9" asked the proprietor. "You gave me square meal on tick two months | ago The bill was 45 cents. I promised to pay in six weeks, but am little late" "l l don't remember the circumstance" "Per- haps not, as you are big-hearted man, but l do and here's your money" The proprietor I pulled in a $2 Canadian bill and flung out the change, rather disgustsd with the mans honesty. Ten minates later, however, this