Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1889-01-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Modern Grease-Lard
Usually dark as pitch Tar.
A play thing-The piano.
Human gimlets-Society bores.
May Jority is very popular girl.
Stationary pressure-Paper weight.
A gum drop-Decline of the rubber
market.
Hump themselvs over the desert
Camels.
1t is the pianist who always plays at
his work
An icicle is the veriest eavesdropper
you know.
What to do when you catch a cold
Let go of it.
Pavements ana carpets are things that
must be put down.
One of the finest naturally causes many
citizens to be fined.
A woman's will is one that even the
lawyers can't break.
1t is noticeable that every time the
coal dealers coalesce there is less coal on
the market.
When the political caldron boils, the
scum quite naturally rises to the top
Boston Gazette.
Pulling carpet tacks is a lowly work,
yet it may be done with eclat.--Bing-
hamt0n Republican.
The sweetest of sweet girls who will
wait for you is worth her wait in gold
Netc Orleans Picayune.
The decline of American humor is
most forcibly illustrated by the editors
The girl who seeks to marry for the
sake of bank account is quite likely to
be check mated. -Nerchunt TrG0etr.
Never Judge by appearances. A
counterfeit IS gold piece isn't worth as
much as punched nickel.-Neoo York
Sun.
lack, please don't! You muss my
hair" But Jack kept right on, on the
ground that if he mussed he must
Mercury.
"Never allow yourself to get ont of
anything" says a writer in household
journal How about debit Burlington
Free Press.
1t is one of the peculiarities of things
in general that the freshest men gener-
ally tell the staIest stories. --Edng07'
Commercial.
Cole-"Hello Pm in hurry! / was
just going to dinner" Mole az won't
detain you, then, will go with you."-
Detroit Free Press.
His face was cleanly shaven
That was patent at a glance,
But the wind did gaiy whistle
Through the fringe upon his pants.
-DdnS"iLe Breeze.
Rice is cheap IN this country and in
= "a
expensive because the latest notes from
Paris say that rice is riz.-NeaO York
San.
She-'You are always in the SOUP
Henry. He-"No, I'm not, either"
She "Wen, how can they spell soup,
Henry, without uP'-Buriingtcl Free
Press.
When a young miss owns Daisy for
name she wishes at sixteen to be called
Miss Smith. If she is unmarried at
thirty she prefors to be called Daisy
Cdrt00n.
A man in Nebraska IS in jail for steal
ing a quantity of sausages. The evil
dence against him is sad TO be con-
elusive. Not link is wanting Chicago
IriJune.
The White Pasha comes smilingly for
ward again with a great battle and a
good many slaughtered dervishes, but
he neglects, as usual, to send in his name.
PIT sJurg Chronicle.
Zone of you boys has been stealing
raisins again; have found the seeds on
the floor. Which one of you was itp'
Tommy-'Tt wasn't me. l swallowed
the seeds in nine. "-.Sftings.
s'What was the matter with you at
dinner, Browniel You didn't say a
bright thing from oysters to coffee"
No" replied the humorist, sadly. 81
never talk shop when I'm invited OUT
Harper's B1ear.
Young Wife Cat party)-"You are
improving wonderfully as a dancer.
Don't you remember how you used to
tear my dressesT" Young HustSnd-
"Y-e-s; I wasn't buying 'em thin