The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1889-09-03
MR.. AND MRS, BowsER.
BIZ r BowsER.

"There you gol You are always ready
to oppose anything I suggest"
II am not opposing you, only you
know that the boats are always crowded
on Sunday, and that one is apt to meet
with many lawless characters. I have
heard you say that the place was in pos
session of a mob al day Sunday.
"NeYert On the contrary / have al
ways boosted of how orderly it was. |
guarantee that you can go up there alone
and stay all day and you will be treated
like a queen"
DWELL, if you think we had best go,
"'Of course I do. I think a little trip
-on the water will do us all good, and at
the island we will seek some sylvan re
treat and enjoy the beauties of the sur
~roundings."
"And you-you won't get mad
"Mrs. Bowser, what do you mean
off things do not go right you won't
scold and blame everything to me Z"
".Have you gone mad? When did I
ever blame you? If you suspect that you
are getting softening of the brain let me
know and I'll have a medical examina-
tion."
After dinner next day We made a
start. / think Mr. Bowser started with
the firm determination to keep his good
nature at every hazard, but something oc-
Cured almost Immediately to upset AIM.
The street car was jamb-full and running
over, but it stopped and we wedged our
waY in. In the squeeze some. one stepped
on Mr.. Bowsec's corn, some one else
knocked his plug hat off, and a third per-
1>~-l - NO &hoE TF h0
weighed a ton he would charter a special
car when he wanted to ride. This put
Mr.. Bowser in trim to say to the con-
ductor
"Does the manager of this line think
we are a lot of hogs that we oar be
packed in an old car this wayT"
"Don't know, sir"
"Then you'd better find out! It's an
insult on decent people, and I for one
don't propose to submit to it'll"
"Thaz rize, ole felr!s shouted a half
drunken man from the front of the car.
$50 in, old bay window" added a
second.
"Ten to one on old BoWser," yelled a
man fom the rear platform.
We finally got down to the boat. 1t
was black with humanity and l didn't
want to go, but Mr.. Bowser elbowed
people right and left and / followed.
After being crowded, pushed, jambed,
squeezed and Knocked about FIR ten
minutes I got a chair which a drunken
man just fallen off, and Mr.. Bowser found
standing room beside me.
81 told you I thought the boats would
be crowded" l remarked as soon as |
could get my breath.
"Wen, that shows all you know about
it. There's no crowd on this boat. She
could carry as many again"
"But what a rough set of peoplel"
"No rougher han we are. You simply
want to find fault, and make me unccm-
Portable"
Just at that moment a tough came up,
looked Mr.. Bowser ove from crown to
heel, and then said:
"You look like the bloke who threw
mud at me little sister last May"
"Sir! You are mistaken" replied Mr..
Bowser.
"What er you dom wild all that stile
on ?n demanded the tough as he brought
his arm around and gave Mr.. Bowser's
hat a "swat" which sent it flying to the
deck.
Mr.. Bowser grabbed him and there
would have been a fight had not a num-
Der of men interfered. When the hat
was recovered it had a shoulderblade and
three ribs broken, and In the brief clinch
the tough had torn away MI. Bowsef's
necktie.
"Im so sorry we came" 1 said as 1
got a chance to speak to him. you
know I told you l thought it would be
very unpleasant"
Eyes, of course you are sorry You
can't bear to see me enjoying myself l
wasn't aware that anything unpleasant
had occurred"
In getting off the boat at the island
some one stepped on my dress-skirt and
nearly tore it off, while Mr.. Bowser's hat
was crushed down over his eyes and some
one picked his cigar-case out of his coat
tail pocket. We finally got out of the
crowd and wandered away until we
reached a shady spot, and then it did
seem as if we might take some comfort.
1 began to express my sympathy for Mr.:
Bowser, when he turned on me with:
when 1 want to be condoled with
I'll let you know. Thus far we have had
a real good time, and I don't want to hear
any more kicking about it"
"This is the sylvan retreat you spoke
of, I suppose?' 1 remarked as l looked
around aad saw cigar stubs, play ng cards,
pretzels, beer bottle corks and a rusty old
cork-screw lying on the g:ass.
He didn't say. He was going to, when
a couple of young men came that way
and stopped and asked Mr.. Bowser for =
match to light their caly-pipes. He d dn't
have any, and one of them said:
Well, yer need.'t be so crusty about
it. We are just as good as you are"
"And a blamed sight better, Jimt"
added the other. GIVE seen this old
budgee up here every Sunday this sum-
mer, and he's always had a different wo-
with him! He's up to snuff, and
don't you for.et it"
Mr.. Bowser jumped up, but both of
them piled on to him and I screamed and
brought assistance. They split his coat
m the haok tore he ooI.n |