Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1889-08-21
Mr.. AND MRS. BowSER.
Sad Trials of the Faithful Spouse
Over MIR. BIS Wardrobe.

ing up and down like a Gagged lion. As
he was an hour ahead Of his usual
time was naturally astonished, and as
lie looked so stern and digniled, | was
fearful that some misfortune had oc-
CURED.
Anything wrong. Mr.. BowserT" |
managed 20 ask.
lie halted, folded his hands under
his coat-tails, and balancing himself on
his heels and toes alternately, lie re-
piled:
''Mrs. Bowser, this is the last straw
the very lastl''
why, what have / doner"
IL had an invitation 70 attend ban
quet Of the b N q. Club, and was
down 10 deliver an address. / came
home to get ready, and, lol what do
tindI'
Robbers in the houss?r
Not muchi No robber with any
sense in his head would come to this
housed 1t would take him 4 week to
ind anything! l 60 up stairs 10 get a
clean sh irt, collar, etc, but nothing of
the sort can be found. / come down
and ask the cook TO see If my Sunday
clothes are in the flour barrel, but she
looks in vain. l go TO tie telephone
and ask the coal man If he saw them in
the basement when he put in that last
ton. but he can't remember. You, of
course, have 10 knowledge of them.
You can't say whether they are in the
Oat-bin in the barn, or packed away in
the garret for a rats nest"
''Mr. B,wser, have you been drink
mg?''
Have 1 been drinkingl That's Just
like a womanI When she gets corn
cred she throws out Just such insults to
hide her own shortcomings. It's a
wonder haven't been drinkingl It's
wonder ] didn't come home drunk
and wipe out this family. Mrs Bow
ser, demand to know what you have
done with my clothes"
They are upstairs, unless you have
sold or given them away"
mo more insults, please. Come up
stairs and show me, for instance, where
my shirts are"
VERY well. We shall lind them in
the second drawer of your bureau.
where they have been kept for the last
two years. "
I'm bet you a million dollars to a
cent"
Come on
We went upstairs to the bureau and
pulled out the drawer and there lay
i've clean shirts Just where l had placed
them as they came from the laundry
two days before.
But they were not there An hour
ago." protested Mr.. Bowser.
"But they were. How could they be
anywhere else. In this other drawer
are your socks, necktles, cuffs and col
lars. See?'
Il see. but that drawer was empty
half an hour ago.
And in this close. is your Sunday
suit Seer Coat. vest and pants. Are
you growing blind, Mr.. Bowser?''
There is some dark mystery con-
nected with all this, Mrs. BOwser, and
will not rest until l unravel It. |
spent good half hour looking for my
things, but not one single article could
l find"
Because you rushed upstairs and
went into the spare room, Just like lots
of other husbands. OF course you didl
Seel Every drawer in the spare room
bureau has been pulled out, and the
clothes press door IS wide openV'
Mrs. Bowser, don't try to get out OF
It in this wayl My eyesight is still
good, and when see an empty drawer
l know il is not full of shirts. l have
lost an hour looking for my things, and
AOW NtAAlllOL 70 tue Otlll uel-
He went down stairs and called up
some one by telephone and said:
Il can't be there this evening Ny
shirts, collars and clothes had been mis-
laid by my wife, and only found them
u moment ago. Very sorry, but give
my regrets to the boys and tell them
how It was. Some wives are like that,
and can't help 1t, you know. Good
bye"
The next evening Mr.. BowSer
brought friend up with him-the
same one he had telephoned TO. After
bit he took him upstairs for smoke,
and Is they reached the head of the
stairs they found the following notice
on the bedroom door:
INSIDE THIS ROOM
will be found
MR.. BowsER's SHIRTS, COLLARS, CUFFS
AND SUNDAY SUIT.
Don't make the mistake of looking in
the alley.
On the bureau L had tackled second
sign, reading:
First drawer-Your hair dye, etc.
second drawer-Collars, cuffs and
neckties.
Third drawer-Yo our shirts"
yA SAAN NOOA VI NA4t SAObAGS N4O5CL L
had a third sign, reading:
Your Sunday suit is in this closet
first hook to the left as you enter"
On each garment was marked the
name, "coat," s" vest" and 'pants, -
and on the wall set of Instructions,
reading:
II. Fling your hat under the bed.
- Kick your pants over behind the
lounge.
''3. Throw your vest behind the
washstand and your coat on the foor
- In removing the buttons from
your shirt, Jerk and twist them from
left to right and back again. This will
enlarge the buttonholes.
70. II you drop one of the buttons.
jump up and down and cusS and de-
clare that you have been one button
short all the week.
IS. IL the button holes in your col
lar are too large, kick over a chair and
declare your desire to murder some one.
If too small, kick over two chairs and
lay it to me.
~. In changing your clothes, get
your suspenders twisted, leave your
shirt punched up at the shoulders, and
snap off as many buttons as possible. ~
l had intended those signs for Mr.
Bowser's eyes alone, and L fully ex-
Pected a national calamity when lie
came down and bade his friend good
night. 1 was disappointed, however
He looked at me benignly, walked up
and down for awhile and then OBJ
served:
Mrs. Bowser, before we were mar
rIed 1 had a long talk with your
mothern