The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-07-28
SOCIAL ETIQUETTE.
How to Be Model Visitor-A Ready
Adaptability the Important Requisite.

How to Be Model Visitor-A Ready
Adaptability the Important Requisite.
1T is not an easy task to live in other peo-
pies houses, to alter your own breakfast
hour, to sleep i'll an unaccustomed bed, to eat
at unusual periods, to await the hostess plea
sure about the carriage, to talk to the stupid
son or daughter, or to endure the brilliancy
of the petted one 1t is a servile condition to
be a visitor, even under the most compliment
tary circumstances Thus Harper's Bazaar
sums up disadvantages which many a guest
to country houses will realize in the coming
season, and adds the following hints to who
ever may tempt the mingled pleasure and
pain of prolonged visiting:
The model visitor let us suppose, is gifted
with a ready adaptability; she has just
enough anecdote and not too much, the exact
amount of good looks and an absence Of dis
agreeable encumbrances. Ifneed be, emay
join the guild of the guests for life. To those
childleSs homes where visitors are desired for
company, how often is she asked and how
amiably does she comport herself!
In these households, more numerous than
the uninitiated dream, she is, if she conform
to certain common sense regulations, received
with open arms, as a benehcent angel. To
this end she must first of all come when she is
asked, remain her stipulated time, and cheer
fully say good-by at its end. Punctuality is
the first article in the code. Never should a
visitor presume on her popularity to keep
people waiting. Every family is entitled to
its idiosyncrasy.
One host is afraid of his coachman, and he
cannot bear to have the carriage wait; an
other is tied to the breakfast bell; another
expends his extraneous activity in getting
people to the dinner table. A model visitor
acknowledges these peculiarities and bends to
them. Is she sure to never abuse the weather.
Certain hosts feel that they own the weather
they are responsible for it. A visitor should
have a resource for rainy day. Model hosts
are mortified if it rains, or if it is too hot to
show off their views, or their greenhouses toe
dusty to look at their improvements, or too
damp for drive. Never, therefore, when in
a country house, abuse the weather, for your
host owns it. Find something pleasant to say
of even a prolonged drizzle.
The sensible visitor never notices the family
Jars. If there is an antagonism over a dog
or cat, do not take sides. Avoid partisan
ship about the tree which madame wishes cut
down, and which monsieur swears shall not
be. Even very loving husbands and wives
may have their occasional little frictions,
which it is the part of the common friend to
quietly ignore Above all else, let a guest
beware Of taking sides in the passing tiff,
which will subside of itself if unnoticed.
We can all abuse those we love, in tempo
rary fit of irritability, but we do not like
others to do So Nor must we see any defects
in the servants of our friends Our self love
is so sensitive, it sends out so many tentacles,
that one cannot be too careful on these points.
In short, if visitor is not disposed to be
sympathetic, amiable, agreeable, self con-
tanned, self possessed, unselfish, she would
| better stay at home.