Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-19
sTUn AND NONSENSE

OAV81 AMI NVNO6&N0A
A STRIKING tale-ths vAAlds.
A PLACE for lavysrs-Ahs Siou5
Reservation.
GRAVE diggers are said to do vurk
that u beneath them.
TIE tailor hopes to succeed by:
clothes attention to business.
To LOVERS: Never put OF till to.
morrow what you can WOO to-day.
The coal dealer sometimes, by mis-
take, gives the cart driver . weigh.
A BooTLEss attempt-To net mn
stairs without being heard BY your
wife.
The man with . boil on his neck
never borrows trouble. He has enough
of it.
D1oK-Going on any fishing trims
this summer? Jack-No; I swore Oh.
Dick-Fishing? Jack Drinking.
The well-bred woman SAYS please
to her servants, and sometimes to her
husband if there's anybody around.
A TEXAS COW has died from eating
corn with q full grown beard. Men
with full grown beard have died be-
fore now from drinking it.
Mrs. SoURFAcE-I hear Mrs. De
Sweets husband is just devoted to
her. Mrs. Sharptongue-He is? Yell
well! There amt many such men.
FATHER" said Willie, who had Just
been corrected, shat strap is heredi-
tary, isn't it?" II don't know that Il
is" "But it descends from father to
son, doesn't it?"
TOMMY (who has been forgotten until
nearly eleven o'clock Paw, what is .
jiHy? Father-It's Just about the
length Of time you've got to get to bed
without a licking.
IT is seriously stated that it takes .
fly two-billionth part of q second to
wink. If mans wink was as sudden
as hy's he would never get anything
but plain soda at the fountain in
drugstore.
A PERTINENT question: II would
like to ask you question" said gem
tlemsn to q fellow who was spreading
himself over four seats in crowded
railway car. aWhat is it?" "What
brand of nerve food do you use?"
TRAMP-Will your ladyship help .
poor man who is afflicted with terri
BILE disease which prevents him from
working? Lady-Poor man, here's .
quarter. What is your disease? Tramp
(pocketing the money! Laziness, mum,
laziness.
Mrs. NEwMARRIED-Which one of
your friends has had triplets boln to
him? Mr.. Newmarket of them,
my dear. Why? Mrs. Newmarket
Nothing, only I heard you say in your
sleep, "Got three Of kind, have you?
Well, that beats me-"
D.-THAT's very funny old cane
you have got there. I'd like to buy it
from you. Cant sell it. It is an
old family heirloom. I wouldn't sell
it for anything in the world. My
great-grandfather used to maui my
great-grandmother with it.
FIRST New-Yorker-So you saw the
Paris Exposition. I suppose you are
glad you saw it? Second NewYorker
Yes, indeed. Twas bled very r'uch
and had to put up with many i'm rosi-
tions. In fact I am so happy to get
home that am glad went.
COUSIN Jane-And doesn't Peter
stay at home any night of the week?
Why, he followed you over half the
continent before you gave your con-
sent. Young wife-I know it, my dear.
Haven't you heard before of woman
marrying man to get rid of him?
The average man: Wife = You
missed the baby greatly while we were
away, didn't you? Husband-Yes;
couldn't sleep at all for while, till I
put sawhorse and wheelbarrow in the
bed and hired man to play the &C.
Gordon in the room nights.-Memphis
Auala7ache.
NEW TITLE FOR THE COCKTAIL.
The man who was -out pretty late with the
boys
The advice Of his better-h scorning,
Whom Q turbulent stomache and headAch an
Goeth forth for his horn In the morning.
But It IL not Q cocktail he calls for to-day:
Addressing the .Hve-saver" mixer
he says: Il feel thirsty; 30 hurry, ! pray,
And give me my morning elixir"