davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27
PRIZE CONUNDRUM CONTEST.

present week. The many contributors TO
the column and those who have intended
to contribute must bear the fact in mind,
and that all conundrums for the depart
ment should be sent in before Friday noon
at latest. Announcement of the award will
be made early next week.
Attic Salt.
Why is "attic saltn like snowP II never
comes out Of the cellar.
As to Virgil.
Why should the ladies love the Georges
of Virgil2 1t relates TO husbandry.
startiingly Agricultural.
Why is q cornfeld in October like an
electric battery II is full of shocks.
MRs. j. E.. j.
Stretching the Facts.
Why should office-seekers be satishedY
They only asked for Ben Harrison's inaugu-
ration, and he has been "harassen'' (ren
Harrison) ever since.
Friendly.
Why were Benjamin Franklin and the
last shock of earthquake like the two dogs
belonging to the junior Senator from Penn
sylvania2 They were quakers (Quay curs).
g. b. T..
Gaugor and Waiter.
| What is the difference between Gov
ernment storekeeper and gauger and o hun
| CRY waiterP One measures the liquor aud
the other hcks the measure.
| The Presidents Coachrnap.
! Why is Albert Hawkins, the Presidents
coachman, like the Prime Minister of Eng
land Because he holds the reins Of Gov
ernment, as 1t were.
Does Not Always Apply.
What is the difference between State
treasurer and good professor? One minds
! the till. while the other tills the mind.
| P.s.-This does not apply universally,
| England and a Girl.
Whv does England remind ms of n pirl nj
a circns, Becanse she q mistress Of the
see.
Evidently str"ight-out'
Why is the Civil-Service Law like an
unidentified corpeeY Because 1t is proper
sna. TN ,ou g. na. sa", ~. !.
a,,,nt 20 ho -
noesn,t Remina ia.
Why aoss Madame patti remind ,s % n
|
certain city Of farther Indiag Because she
can't Singapore song.
| Both Dark.
Why is colored dance like the yell Of q
"boot black, we hear on the streetY Be-
| cause IL is Dlack Dawl. JINGo b.
| Listener'
What merchah' on 'ne Avenue is nke a
person WIN ms cur W 'ne 'o'ephone' a.
Lisher, Va hs'ener.l
mn
"n"' =" aOon nm Aa. "ou ,,,,,,. Nv"
,use rI's' A l,w',, r. p'Iyh .o ''"'' ""''''
hiopey' 'mni ie. h,opy'l
uv,. ,, A.. a. 49, 80 !.
WY "n 'no ua' INC p.Io :. uW"iuou
oe se,y app,op.ia.u .,, " ,o .no nna!''Iy u IVn
Fashion vs.. EtymoIogy.
Why are etymologists and fashions
minions so widely apart? Because while
there is only. one "T'' in Lent, there are
likely to be several more Lenten teas.
| why Is Itp
| why ia a Young lady making fancy work
like man beating his wifep She is doing
crewel (cruel) work. s.
sprinr Has CONS.
| Why is It unsafe to promenade the forest
In the spring of the yearP Because the
trees are shooting and the bull rushes out.
Wiea'Ns'
Jealousy.
Why does Mrs. Cleveland feel so badly at
the absence Of her husbandY Because he
has zone to have Anna.
Just Like 1t.
Why Is Secretary Blaine like a certain
soap sold In this .oityp Because he ia full
of ert.
Evidently From a Democrat,
WHY ia the Republican marty like green.
backs in a miser,s pocketY Because thew
,.are IN 10 stay.u their evesl FRO.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27

Boston is said to be a year behind the
times in grasping foreign styles.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27

THE New YoRK Times charges
corporal" Tanner the new Commits
sioner of Pensions, with being a
"bloody.shirt" Republican. Has the
Times forgotten that only few years
ago, when money was needed in Rich
mond, Va, to establish Confederate
Veterans Home, now fourishing in
that city, that Corporal" Tanner by
his personal efforts raised $1,000 in
Brooklyn and sent it to Richmond as q
nucleus, about which $25, 900 soon ac-
cumulated? And has 1t forgotten that
Corporal" Tanner was made an
honorary member of r. f. Lee Post of
Confederate Veterans in token of his
brotherly services9 Or did the Times
never know these facts
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27

The old strikers on the New York street
railways haven't been black-listed, and
hundreds are back at work.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27
CRITICULAR.
Bills may come and bills may go,
But debts hang on forever.

Mr.. Thomas Needles is one of the Presi-
dents new appointments. Everybody can
see the point. 2. S.--Jokers will therefore
hold off.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27
DIED.

HEuRIcH's bottled Maezern beer. Tele-
phone call, 634-3.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27

THE PHILADELPHIA p. o.
Now Matthew Stanley Quay, bedad,
! tell you I'll not yield;
You bet upon the favorlte,
And I'll bet on the Field.
-[From "Bets and ! amt Out;' by j.
Wanamaker.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27

HEuRoH's bottled Maezern beer. Tele,
phone call, 63A-3.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27

To Matt s. Quay; My address is
Fieldadelphia, Pa. John Wanamaker,
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27
An Unbiased Opinion.

philadelphia North American.)
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27


the scheme, as is probable, the paper win
be altogether an aristocratlc affair.
Where a Crown Prince Lies.
The unfortunate Crown Prince OF Austria
shares the crypt of the Capuchin Church at
Vienna with 113 of his ancestors. With
three exceptions, every member OF the
Hapsburg dynasty has been buried there
since the Emperor Matthias died In 1919,
these three exceptions being the Emperor
Ferdinand H., buried at Gratz, the second
wife OF Leopold l., and the Empress
Amelia, buried In converts. Thus the
crypt contains the remains OF eleven EN-
perors, two Queens, twenty Arch
dukes, fifteen Empresses, one King Of Rome,
| fifty-three Archduchesses, two Dukes, and
two electoral Princes, besides the hearts Of
two Expresses, of Marie Anne of Portugal
and an Archduchess.
l. Not Her Husband.
A poem in the Someryille (Mass.) Journal
once contained this remarkable stanza:
| Who took me from my childhood's home,
| And said he'd love me all alone,
| And for my sacrifice aloney
Dickinson" My husband.
"DiclSnsonn was not the husbands name;
1t was simply quad put in wrong side up,
showing the makers name, which is usually
stamped on the bottom of type.
Keeping His Grave Green.
The surrogate OF Suffolk County, New
York, has admitted to probate a rather
novel will, that of Richard l.. Peters of
southold, l., |. II directs the investment
of sum OF money, the income Of which
shall be used in keeping his grave covered
wifh growing flowers. Another request is
that sum be invested at compound inter
est for 100 years. The principal aud inter-
est at the expiration OF the time arc to be
used to erect monument and celebrate the
centennial Of his death.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-27

Why does Mrs. Cleveland feel 80 badly at
the absence Of her husbandY Because he
has gone to have Anna.
just Like 1t.
Why is Secretary Blaine like a certain
soap sold in this city, Because he is full
Of grit.
Evidently From a Democrat.
Why is the Republican party like green
backs in a miser's pocketP Because they
''are in to stay" & their eyes). Flo.
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
TROTTING
ELMWOOD PARK
NORRIDGEwOCK, ME.
j u1y 4th,l889
$27O in Purses $27O.
Including
$50 in Gold $50.

FORENOON
No. !. 3 min. class, purse $4,000
No. 2. Wagon race, purse $1,000
in gold.
AFTERNOON.
No. 3. 2:45 class, purse $4,000.
No. 4. 2:33 " 800 90.
No. 5. 3-year.old class, purse $50
in gold.
No. g. 4yearold " $50
in gold.
These races will be trotted on the day speci
fled, weather permitting. hut may lie called IN
different order than advertised.
CONDITIONS.
All races with the exception of Nos. and Z
Will be mile heats, best ms
No, 2. Will be mile heats, best 2 iu 3 stallions
and horses with records barred.
No. 5. Will be mite heats best ms
Entrance fee in all classes 10 per cent of
purse: per cent must accompany nomination
additional per cent to be psil before startinv
In all classes must enter and 8 start
Purses divided 50. 80 and 20 per cent.
NO entry accepted unless IL is accumpanied
by per cent of purse.
Those races will be trotted according IN
American Association rules. waving weight
and distance. Entries close June--Isss and
must he made to j. Haynes, &c., or F. A.
Carleton, manager. ~ Purses will be given
for Foot, Bicycle and other races, also for Base
Ball. Full particulars of which will be given
later. tfN F. A. CARLETON, Manager.
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
Obituary.

A. Ware, Esq, for some years res.
ident of Salem n. T., was born at Con
cord, Maine. September / /, 79S.
At an early age he was employed as a
clerk by relative at Norridgewock
Maine. Subsequently he removed t.
Athens, Maine, then new settlement
where he was successfully engaged il
trade for many years. In 1924 he mar
ried Miss Elizabeth Ross Thomas, daugh
ter of the distinguished English surgeon
DR.. Stephen Thomas, of Portland. The,
resided in beautiful home at Athens fo
forty years. and reared family of eigh
children.
lie was widely known and esteemed a.
an honorable, upright aud public spiritet
citizen, and was called to MI many place,
of public and private trust. He was ever
more solicitous for the welfare and hap
pness of others than for his own ntrest
A Unitarian in his own views, he at on,
time built church almost at his own
cost, to be used largely by those differing
from him in religious matters,
When reverscs came in business he
cheerfuly paid the last penny of indebt,
edness, and found employment in tn,
Fourth Auditors Office, Washington, un
der the administrations of Lincoln, John
son and Grant, until compelled to resign
by the niirmities Of age.
He died May eth, ult.. at the residence
of his son A. IL. ware, Esq, North Arson
and by his own request was buried by tn,
side of his wife in Evergreen cemetery
Salem, n. Y.
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20

Mr. Thomas l!ess, htea Weaatea, ere 90
Portland's well-known merchants, died
Wednesday. He was born in Madison in
1916 and educated at the Pennington
Academy. He has been in the wholesale
flour business in Portland since 1851.
Mr.. Weston was Interested in his native
town, and did much toward advancing its
progress. Through his influence and that
of his brother, B. = j Weston. the wooden
mill Mt Madison was establishcd-th tirsl
in lSs0-in which Portland leading cap
ltalsts are Interested He was Interested
in the real estate business with his bro
ther, in Madison, and was also large
owner in the wooden mills. His age was
- years. months. The funeral took
place Saturday at 2.30 pm. from his late
residence.
He leaves a widow, son, and three
daughters. His connection lin Somer-
set is very large and he had the respect
of very wide circle of friends.
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
F aIrneid

Councillor Allen WAS on an official visit
70 the Reform School last week
W. II. Emery and Mrs Emery were in
town last week u witness Rosedae.
Mr.. Walter Davis of the Portland Pack
ing Company, was In town Saturday in
conference with Mr.. Merrill the local
manager of the company here, in refer
ence 10 extensive repairs now underway
on the factory here.
The Rev. +. l.. Allen continues to gain
steadily though slowly, aud instead of
taking short tripto gian strength he will
husband what he gets TO enable him the
sooner to start for home. He hopes to
be able TO 90 the latter part of the week
Ira Lord, aged five years, the Youngest
son of Amos and Minnie Priest. of Shaw
NUT, was drowned. The little fellow
was playing in the rear OF the planning
mill. and fell into the water and waS
drowned before assistance could reach
him. Ira Lord. Chas. Nichols, Alph
Lawrence and several others dived re-
peatedly 10 lind him. but without success.
I orfus TO tnc muddy condition of the
water. The body was recovered after
having been in the pond about half an
| hour.
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
Pulp Manufacture

Tho drvrlonmnnt of NUN manufactur-
,b, valne Of timber land and placed many
Thousand dollars in the pockets of land
owners The small spruce that aforctime
YEA. worth very little j. now valuable as
IL hriuos - - pnr cord at Skowheean.
II Is sawed M in the woods four feet long
1rawn to the banks of the river and
stream, and after the long lumber is
d-ivcn down II IL thrown in and eoated
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
GENERAL NEW s

The Massachusetts legislature has pass
ed law forbidding the docking OF
horses. on penalty Of fine or imprison
ment. 1t is the first law of the kind in
the United States.
Thomas Sherman, formerly Mr.
Blaines private secretary, sailed fol
Liverpool on Thursday. to occupy his
position as U. S. consul at that port.
Accounts have just been received here
of disaster at Uuiontown, Kansas
They say 1t was caused by the bursting
OF dam, and that the towns of Union.
town and Belletown were flooded and
that several lives were lost.
The Democrats have q majority of one
In the constitutional convention of Mon
tana. This result was reached because
OF quarrels In two or three Republican
districts.
Henry Mcintyre of Midtown. n. B.
aged about 20, was arrested Saturday
while setting fire to waste cotton In the
St. Croix cotton mill.
OF late fires have been dangerously
frequent In this vicinity and detective
was employed with the above result
1t Is also suspected that Mcintyre ha.
caused the mysterious fires In and around
the lumber mills for the past few years
According TO the New Brunswick laws
the penalty Of the crime Of which Nc
lntyre IL accused is Imprisonment fol
life.
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20

The Free Masons gave Ball at tn,
Forks Hotel Saturday eve, in honor OF
Mr.. |. S. Young, who started for North
Carolina where he is to engage In the
numbering business with Clark 4 Colin
We wish him success in his new enter
prise. The Ball was largely attended by
all.
Mr.. and Mrs. David Holden of Moose
River were in town last week to see Mrs
llolden's sister who has been sick with
lung fever.
Mrs. j. S. Ham of Madison was in
town last week with millinery.
DR. I. q. Murphy of Portland is spend
Ing few weeks at the Murphy Hous,
and Parlin Pond.
Pattersons show was in town Frida,
night. There was social dance after
the show, which was enjoyed by ALL
Mrs. Maria Moody of Fairfield is visit
ing her sister, Mrs. Arthur Durgin.
Mrs. Sybil Williams is on the sick list.
William Morris cut his leg badly las
week while at work on Dead River drive
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20

The executive committee of the Main,
Gettysburg commission met at the Stat
House and voted that Names day at the
battlefield will be Monday October ,
The party will leave Maine Tuesday, Oct
L for the battlefield, The committe,
adopted an order of exercises for Maine,
day. Gen. Selden Conner will deliver
the address; Gen. Charles lIamlin, in be
half of the commission, will present tn,
monuments to the Governor of Maine
who in turn delivers them into the Gus
tody of the Gettysburg Memorial Asso
citation of Pennsylvania.
This involves speeches and responses
two artillery salutes will be fired. Tn,
route decided on is by rail and souuC
steamers, and the least cost for tn,
round trip will be 52j. Hon, IIanniba
llamlin will be invited and a special Pull
man car provided for the Governor, hi
staff, the commission aud special guests
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20

Rev. W. T.. Noyes of Waterville, spoke
at the Baptist Church June 9TH on Benev,
olence, the congregation was good one
but many more would have been proflted
by such sermon
b. ID. bowman, NJ. ID. went TO Lewis
ton Tuesday for short time.
Mrs. Carrie Bailey, and her sister Miss
Emma Page, of Great Works, attended
Commencement Exercises at Pittsteld
and are since visiting their uncle, Mr. l.
w. Page, also relatives In st Aibans and
Ila7mony. A large number of our peo-
Pile, were in attendance also some going
by rail-, 0thefs by Teams others, were
left.
Mrs. Arnold Palmer of Auburn is visit
Ing Palmyra and Hartand.
Miss Mary w, Robinson, is clerking, In
&. NJ. Lancy's store.
Mrs. Belle Linn who has been yer,
sick, is slowly recovering
Mr.. John Larribee, has returned from
Washington Territory, in very poor
health.
Mrs. j. O. Bradbury is quite i'll.
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
Browns Corner and Vicinity

Chas. Allen has job of grading on the
railroad at Scion. n. q. Woodbury. with
his team Is at work for him.
Our scholars had vacation of three
days the past week. The teacher attend
ed the Commencement exercises at the
NJ. c. |. at Pittsfeld.
Josie and Freddie Washburn are stop.
ping with their grandmother, Mrs. Ezra
Worthen.
Wesley Bailey has got the water run
ming into his buildings.
Rev. o. NJ. Chase held a meeting at
this place on Sunday.
Strawberries are not very plenty in
this vicinity.
| Crowell and son, In company with
Leroy Eowning of Cambridge, went to
Moosehead Lake fishing They caugh:
quite number of trout
The road machine has been in our vi.
cinity and has made change for the
better in our bad ways. and still there is
much chance for improvement.
Mrs. W. o. Barnes and daughter are on
a visit to relatives in Bradford.
Mr.. Thomas French and wife of Pal
myra stopped Saturday night and Sunday
with friends In this vicinity.
Grass is growing so fast that farmers
expect to begin having by next Monday.
A good crop Is anticipated.
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
PittsfleId

There was sad accident occurred at
this place last Friday to Selden Hancock
of Burnham. He had been taking too
much liquor and was in a hilarious condi-
ton when he started for home. Cnfor-
tunately he fell from his wagon short
distance above the railroad crossing and
struck upon the stub Of his arm. which
he lost few years ago, crushing it to
pulp for nearly three inches aud soaring
his face quite badly. lie was carried to
the i.ancey House, where he was attend
ed by DR. PuShor, aud the next day start
ed for home where he is now doing nice
ly.
John Wood Of this town met with quite
severe accident Friday of last week
while at work on the underpinning of J
+. Connors cellar, his hand WAS crushed
between two pieces of granite, injuring IL
so badly that he will be unable to work
for some time
James +. Connor lost quite valuable
horse last Friday afternoon. He was re-
turning from the park where he had civ
en- it the usual amount of exercise, when
he noticed that the animal suddenly APP
peared restless and after gong a short
distance fell dead in the road. 4 cancer
in the neck near the jugular vein Is sup.
posed to have been the cause of his death
This makes two that Mr. Connor has lost
within short time. The other was IA
colt Two days old that he had refused $500
| for
The annual meeting Of the Pltt~hcld
/ Advertiser correspondents will occur at
Camp Benson, Newport. next Saturday
/ An Interesting program will be carried
out consisting OF music by the Corinns
Band, dancing etc good time is ex-
pected
The graduating exercises of the Maine
Central Institute passed OF smoothly
| Thursday afternoon and were a credit to
the Institution. The concert in the eve.
ming was the finest musical and literary
entertainment ever given IN this village
and each part Of the program received
the heartiest applause. 1t was great
success financially, the outgoing class
realizing enough from it to pay all the
graduating expenses
The Alumni Of the Institute held thei1
annual meetinn in th.. el.a:.i VI ;;-; ,
evening and the occasion was much en-.
joved nv all. Many of the old students
were present.
The game of ball on the Institute
grounds last Saturday was not worth
looking at. The Pioneer Wooden Mil
nine played the llarmonys and the mil
nine had a regular walkover, defeating
the visitors by Il score of "a to 4.
Mr.. + S Hammond for the past veal
connected with the Advertiser, has Sc
cured fine situation ia Bangor, for
which place he left last Sunday.
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
Brunswick Celebration.

The fonr hun1-.a and dftiath annixrr-
sary of The settlement If prnn,wirk was
appropriately c.i,.brltcJ in that town last
week. GOV Enrl,itl, 'nuor,,s. men Rn,d
Dinrley and Rontrlls were nr4s,nt The
throng of nroplc W. estimated to nun
her fully IN oou
The programme. VA. =, fnlip,y4 organ
voluntary Mis-, NJ " stewart reading
of Scripture and PRAYER. Rev. w. T..
Fisher commemorafinn ode. chorus
Grafton. Prof T. r. Everett. music. eho-
rus; poem. Prof II &. Chairman, HYMN.
by Rev. 6. p. Mathews.
DIR. Alfred Mitchell was President of
the Day. The grand procession was
mad. M of six divisions and three band,
with about 200 partjcipants. the college
/ faculty. fire DEPARTMENT q. A. r.. school,
| parades and historic exhibit.
| There were five hundred prominent
| citizens and invited guests A, the public
dinner In Town Hall served by Georg,
| s. Woodbury. 4 Son. of Portland. DR.
Alfred Mitchell nreSidrd and sentiment,
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
Athens

Mr.. Wayland Leighton has stable "
and boarded.
Mr.. Fred Barker is also building a new
stable.
They lave added the third story to the
odd Fellows block.
Mr.. Mont Dore has had the front of his
store painted also new sign put up.
Mr.. and Mrs. Robert Hayden of Skow
hogan were up and spent the Sabbath
with Mrs. llayden's parents, Mr. and Mrs
Jas. Bixby.
DR.. Taggart had quite a breakdown
last week.
Mr.. George Hight returned Saturday
night from Lewiston.
County Commissioner Leavitt was
away all of last week looking after the
county roads at Moose River and vicinity
Mrs. DIR. Henry Leavitt is in town on 8
visit,
Mr. Ernest Cook who has been so sick,
Is very much better.
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
The Samoan Treaty.

Information was received June l4th
at the State Department that the Samoan
treaty was officially ratified that morning
at Berlin.
The treaty has not been made public
but 1t is understood that it guarantees the
autonomous administration of the islands
under joint control OF Germany and Am
erica, England acting as arbitrator in the
event of difficulties arising. Samoans to
elect their own king and viceroy and to
be represented in a senate composed Of
principal chiefs elected by the people.
Samoa is to have the right of levying
duties of every kind. The treaty slip
ulates that the Germans shall receive
money indemnity for losses. special
court will be appointed to deal with the
land question. The Americans made the
adhesion conditional upon ratification by
the United States Senate. Status quo,
will therefore remain in Samoa until
December. The terms are highly salts
factory to the governmental Washington
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
CORRESPONDENCE
Mercer

&. y. Wood has his stable boarded and
shingled aud when It is finished will
make quite an addition to his buildings.
MIR Worthing is erecting new stable
opposite his house
j Greenleaf has had his store newly
painted and a lot of new goods which
makes quite an Improvement
The measles are dying out for want of
SUBJECTS.
our surveyor NJ. + Carr is about To
have new side walk laid across the
bridge which is much needed.
The hay crop viii he quite light 10 thi>
section.
Arthur Maxwell has returned home OF
visit,
The people are talking Of having pic
| mic and general good time at home thi:
Fourth.
Showers have been quite numerous.
The roads are being mended.
The Somerset reporter., 1889-06-20
Tho Lewiston constables,

In conversation, Gov. Burleigh said
that the vote of the council advising
against the appointment now of any
State constables for Androscoggin had
reference only to the present situation of
the question, with dozen candidates
urging their claims, and chickering's be-
tween them. He had no doubt that
whenever two acceptable candidates
should be presented with substantial I'M
animity, the council would advise their
appointment. For himself the Governur
said he desired to do everything he could
to aid in the enforcement in all parts of
the State of the law prohibiting dram
shops. He would do so in Lewiston,
just as soon as there could be some ag-
reement among the friends of law In
order in Androscoggin Oh two satisfac-
tory men.