Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-07-10
UNCLE NOSE BENSON.
The Old Hoosier Visits the Chica-
go Board OF Trade.
He Can't Understand the System Of Spec
ulative Buying and Selling, and Raises
. Genuine Pine Creek Row Which
Ends in . Panic.

Old Nose Benson, Of Pipe Creek, Ind,
was in Chicago one day last week and
among other places Of interest he visited
the Board OF Trade building. The old fell
low, writes Ed X. Pritchard IN the Arkan-
saw Traveller, was going along Jackson
street and was just opposite the main en-
trance when mighty yell went up from
the Threats of the bulls and bears who were
just then having one OF their liveliest matt
nees in the wheat pit. Old Nose stopped,
and with half-scared, balf-astonished
look on his face gazed about him. He
listened moment and again it came This
time it was perfect bedlam of yells,
shouts and shrieks; and all accompanied
with noise not unlike that of body Of
soldiers when engaged in stormIng q
fortress.
A big policeman stood on q street corner
and TO him old Nose applied for informa-
ton. Going up to the officer he, in sort Of
subdued, awe-stricken tone, asked: ''Say,
Mr.. Ohuser, what's the row over therei"
"Over wherep" asked the policeman in
reply.
"Over thar in that big buildin'," said the
Hoosier, jerking his thumb in the direction
from whence he had heard the strange and,
to him, startling noises.
'Them's the Board of Trade fellows"
TepiicO VINO udQ now Caught Oh
to what was troubling the old fellow.
"Great guv'norr' calculated old Nose,
'what are they hghtin' aboutl Why don't
you go over and stop it,"
The of1cer grinned. They're not fight
ing" he said. "Come with me and I'll
show you what they're up to-" Then, half
talking to himself, he added: "They are not
mad, but they do act as though they might
be crazy" 80 saying he took Uncle Nose
by the arm and piloted him across the street
intothe big building and showed him the
way upstairs into the gallery set apart for
visitors. Uncle Nose took seat and gazed
for awhile in wonder and amazement At the
rushing, yelling crowds in the pits. Finally,
however, his curiosity got the better of his
establishment and he determined to find out
what it all meant Accordingly he turned
to tall, gloomy looking man who was seat
ed next to him and opened on him some
thing after this fashion:
"Purty peart lot o. fellers down there,
amt they2" he began, pointing towards the
floor below.
The man stared at him a moment coldly,
and finally replied: 81 don't understand
you, SIR"
stranger, like myself, s'posei" said
Uncle Nose, interrogatively.
"No, live here" was the answer.
"Well, say, may be you wouldn't mind
tellin' feller what they're dom down
there"
''They are trading" was the somewhat
crusty and unsatisfactory reply.
"Tradin'l What in thunder they got to
trader"
"Just now they are buying and selling
wheat"
"Goshermighty exclaimed old Nose.
"You don't mean it. Where's there anV
wheatl don't see any,"
80, answered the man, 'some OF il is in
store, some OF it is on track, and lots more
Of it has not been harvested yet"
Old Nose looked at the man for an in
slant and then he rose to his feet, his eyes
blazing with wrath. "See here, stranger
he roared, 'T've got family at home, and
l don't want ter git into no trouble, or else
I'd fling you over them banisters so darned
quick it'd make your head swim. What
do you take me fer, anyhow? Some of it in
store, some of it in -
Just then bang clang went the big bell
overhead which announced that in ten min
utes the board would close.
Old Nose jumped like he had been shot,
yelled fire at the top of his voice and
rushed downstairs as though pursued by
forty demons. Out into the street he vent,
still shouting fire and acting like crazy
man. In less than a minute he had created
panic; some fellow pulled fire call and a
little later the patrol and two or three en-
gines camo dashinR up; the streets were
blockaded with the crowds; men came rush
ing out Of their places of business and
breathlessly asked Of each other: "Where
is the fret"
At last it was discovered that it was q
false alarm, but no one could be found who
was able to give any information about It.
As for old Nose, the only man who could
have thrown any light on the matter, he
had disappeared 1t is supposed that he cot
home all right, but should have much en-
joyed hearing him tell the story Of his ad-
ventures in Chicago, and especially Of his
visit to the Board of Trade. He would prob
ably describe it as his escape from the Chi
cago insane asylum.