The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1889-02-28


Boy Can Laugh IT Anything.
"Iyas!lington is not q real man to us; he Is
steel portrait said Bob Ingerscll, and il
that sarcasm is bit of very sound phloso1
ply. 1t is the tendency of ell peoples to e-:alt
their heroes towards the rank Of dcruiGods.
Washington's real features Gre idcalized in the
standard Portraits 4 halo of glory obScure'
tho actual Lafayette, and to many people
William Penn is scarcely NOR historical
parsonage than Eonlulus or Aganienno1.
But tho American sclsc Of hu,nor has re-
voltcd Seeing no other way to disaipatc the
semi-historic halo, the aatirist Las devised tho
c. Washington joke. When one has laughed
ut the ilnpossibly good great man be can then
investigate with more inp.rtiality'.
There is the cherry tres ard little Ratchet
story, for instance; how much fun the modern
paragraphst las made cut Of it. But it
never was q fact. Then there is the
silver dollar-and Washington did throw
d silver dollar across the Potomac
us to which q statesman of tho 1nf!a'
ZION era uubent SO far as to say: 'Thcrs
was nothing wonderful in it-a dollar would
go d great deal farther then than now"
There are also tho almost original G.. Wash
ington joke Of Artcrlus Ward, and the quite
aboriginal burlescues of Bill Nyc and Annoy
Knox
But hero and now it is proposed to deal only
with tho Old stand bys the fine old crusted
Jokes And ut tho lead Of the list, hoary
with a3c, Is that merely verbal tran6positiOni
This is Birthngton's Nasllday." OF course
it was orig inally Elado by q child or q booty,
perhaps by laundering schoolboy. That
sort OF thing is u favorito amusement with
children. Listen to the progressive babblo
of group in their word building stage Ok
life, thus: John jefferson, JET Jcnncrson,
Jcn Jefferson, JoR JCnncrGon, JcfTer Jonsoa,
JofIcr Jcnson," etc. This Is ono OF tho ways
they learn to talk. And of this ego was
born "Birthingtons WasEday."
No doubt it had hundred thousand birth
places Go to the Green fountains and tho
1athy Vcrrncntcr gives it to you vita q grin
rs something quite new and refreshing. Lii
OREGON it is q perennial joke. Make yo:-l'
bed in Philadelphia, it IS there. Take tho
wings Of tho morning aid fly to the sWa!nIs
Ct Louisiana, and the sallow creole cnlivclls
you with the remark, "Wcll this is Birth
ington's Washday." As joke there is abb
soluteiy nothing il it. And that's the reason
it Evcs. Tho lowest capacity can catch Oh to
il. Len Digger Indian who knows Eng
lash will SMILE at il. When you first heard it
ii childhood you laughed immediately; it
struck you IS suprcmely funny. Twenty
years later you could still smile, but only out
Of politoncss to tho speaker. at forty yo;.
felt like hitting somebody. And ROW, IN oil
age, you smile again-not at tho joke, Q, no!
hut at remembrance Of the timo when you
could laugh ct such q lingual monstrosity.
remember, C.; II it were hut yesterday,
Il, 10, fLa, If
tho village seminary On q miserable Fe5ru-
Dry morning, met 1.-The cutcst bog i'll Stone
burg" as VIC all admitted. His face was red
With Suppressed fun, his jacket was almost
bursting with laughter, as Eo broke forth:
20, Johnnie, cid yea know this was
Birthington's WashdayI'' For q half min
ITO / stared, thea the force Of tho broken
backed pci'versiou struck mo il ell its verbal
alsurdity. fell back against q locust tree
and laughed / sat on tho plank walk and
laughed Every time 1 cooled down thc
..cuto boy" repeated it, and Off we went
Gsain. We saw the teacher ct the window
aud crossed the street to the blacksmith shop
ard cat on the bench aad laughed. o happy
days, wien we could laugh! For rlany e yc,.l
that boy ranked in M estimation Us ''jus
too smart for anything"
''Crossington Washing tho Delaware il
rate. Another is tho standard query: 'If th>
father of bis country could look on this cd
Iainistraion, what would he think CT Lii
ci.ildrcnT' But we ere indebted to rccen
hu,rorists for many agreeable variations
Mark Twain nlolestly claims an improve
r,ent or Washington: 'IIo coulI not tell 1
Gc-1 can, but l won't" Arte!nus Wardi
dry hunor has PCT many CT the old anociote;
cbout Washington where they rightfully be
long, II tho category Of the ridiculous tn.
''batcher' he's bcol laughed out OF good so
cioty. Even the joke Of tho newspaper re
porters 'hatchet," pinned upon his coat
with the inscription, II cannot tell lie,
hes become stale. Tho original Ratchet story
and tho remarkable droarl of George
mother about his putting, out the fire wllicl
Tas destroying the house, were p:,rc invcr
tons Of good Mr.. Wcenls, who &C: UP
series of little histories for pelCllers, and &c
cordins to the notioa& OF the times addc;
some Goody good anecdotes of the Mary-.lat!
a-littlc-larnb order. The saino Mr.. " CEN
took Maj. Horry's notes Oh Gen. Marion cn,
Iuado them into life" which is hal
romance.
Lilo, the humorous paper, gives this, vhicl
must DO credited as new:
THE THOUGHTFUL BOY.
Il | ;.