davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
WANTS TO SMOKE EN- OUT.

''Shiver my timbers for land lubber II
don't believe you're trying to send red ants
to Davy Jones' locker with squirt gun,
my heartyp' and the Secretary of the Navy
gave his trousers hitch and slapped the
President on the back In his bluff old sea-
dog way.
"Admiral Tracy" said the President, as
he rubbed his shoulder and made wry
face, ''you are, II you will pardon me, you
are very demonstrative, Admiralp'
"But, blast my eyes. sir, can't help be-
ing taken between wind and water, sir, to
see you trying to drive out those ants with
a squirt gun"
"Uncle Jerry sent II to me from the De-
partment Of Agriculture said the Presi-
dent; "and he recommended 1t very highly,
toon
"0h, Uncle Jerry be blowed p' cried the
sturdy old sailor man. "He may know
something about grasshoppers and potato
bugs, but he's no good when it comes to red
to fumigate the ship-I mean the White
House,
"But-,
'But nothing. ! know what am talk
ing about, Get half keg o. sulphur and
put II in the hold-or suppose you'd call
II the cellar-and set her off with match.
II she don't knock the toplights out o.
those red ants In no time you may holystone
my head. You Just try 1t, my lad, that's
all, and the head of the new navy rolled
away, singing as he went.-[New York
Evening Sun
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
VISITORS TO THE DEPARTMENTS.

Secretaries Blaine, Proctor and Tracy
have issued the following order for the re-
ception of visitors;
Reception of Senators and Representa-
tives in Congress, from 10 to 12 o'clock.
Reception of all persons not connected
with the Departments, at IL o'clock, except
Tuesdays and Fridays, which are Cabinet
days; and Thursdaysin in the Department Of
State, when The members of the Diplomatic
Corps are exclusively received.
Persons will not be admitted to the build
ing after 2 o'clock each day, unless by card,
which will be sent by the captain of the
watch to the chief clerk or to the head Of
the bureau for which the visit is intended
This rule will not apply to Senators, Repre-
sentatives or heads of Executive Depart
ments.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23

Took Teddy to the Last-Died at 1O7.
In Atlanta, Ga, on Wednesday, an old
man, Chance Carter, died. This old darky
was known to several generations. He
claimed to be 107 years old, and there was
nobody left to tell whether he was mistaken
or not. Judge Calhoun knew him half o
century ago, and he says that Uncle Chance
was an old man when he was boy. The
old man was the slave Of Mr.. William aud
Mrs. Rhoda Carter, and before the old man
died, Chance was the general director of
matters about the farm. Mrs. Carter died
just before the breaking out Of the war,
and she left Chance as sole proprietor OF
thirteen acres OF land, with the understand
ing that he should take care Of their graves
as long as he lived. After the war some OF
Mrs. Rhoda Carter's heirs brought cliim
against the old man and tried to disposseSs
him. Judge Calhoun, knowing the Cir
though it was apparent that he, being
slave, could not hold lands under the new
order OF things. When the trial came OF
the scene in court was one unprecedented
in Fulton County chronicles. Judge Cal
houn, then practlcing attorney, defended
the case, ard judge, jury, court aud audi
ence were melted TO tears by the eloquent
appeal OF the lawyer in behalf OF his boy
hood friend. The result was that the old
man retained bis land and remained on his
homestead until bis death, retaining all his
faculties, and, sad 10 say, fond OF his toddy
until the very last day OF his life.-[ Macon,
Ga, Telegraph.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
HILToN-PHILLfPS.
Fashionable Wedding at st. Johns p.
E. Church This Affernnnn

EaHht0nnb1e wedding nt 81. Jouns y.
E. Church This Afternoon.
Miss Dorothy walbridgc Phillips was
married at 81. Johns at | O'clock this after
noon TO Mr.. Edward Barker Hilton of New
York--Judge Hilton's son Justice Mac
Arthur gave the bride away, aud her sister,
Miss Fanny Walbridge, acted rs maid Of
honor. The bridesmaids were Misses Wal
bridge, Randolph, ingalls, and Brown. The
groom's brother acted as best man, aud the
ushere were Messrs. Gresham, Fillette, Sui
livan and Lester. The bride and groom
leave for New York this evening.
The ceremony was the prettiest OF the
past Easter weddings. The altar was al
most hidden with banks OF Easter lilies,
their white blossoms showing purely against
the dark green OF the leaves, aud the church
was crowded. Half society was there and
everybody knew everybody else. II seemed
as II every card issued had been used. A
little after 1 o'clock the bridal party ar
rived. AS II moved slowly up the north
aisle the sunlight that streamed mellowly
In through the stained windows lighted as
pretty scene as was ever In the
old church. The choir, In their white robes,
came first, chanting sweet, tuneful, simple
march. Then the ushers and groom, beside
his brother, followed by the four brides
maids that were so pretty In their fresh
tasteful toilets that the flowers they wore
and carried seemed a part OF them. Each
wore different color; white, pink, pale
green and pale blue, though the colors were
80 palely subdued that the group made q
most handsome picture.
Each carried a bououet of different
fiowers-one roses, another lilies, the third
yiolets and the fourth orchids. Their hats
were each ornamented with the same sort
of flowers that its wearcr carried, and ns
the bououet of SO typically spring lowell
ness noved up the aisle between the rows
of pews full of admiring women, with a
scailt sprlnklinp OF men, the EXPLANATIONS
of admiration sounded like the rustic of a
spring breeze through pew-leafed trees,
After the quartet of bridesmaids came the
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
THE "oKLAHoMA sQuATTER. .

We CLEAN from tine Oklahoma SQuatter pub
lished at Dead Horse, the following intere t.
ing items:
We notice that the Boomer at Kinglisher Is
still alive, though how II manages to subslst
in that town Is a marvel. Its editor probably
never had much TO eat in the States and is
used to living on nothing. The BOOneT, We
observe, sneers at Dead Horse as a town with
no buildings and says that instead of 3i7
wagons ranged up into streets here there are
only o., mostly drawn by mules. These
shallow lies are begotten hut of woll-fouuded
jealousy. Dead Horse Is growing two blocks
10 Kingfsher's one. As for the allegation
that we heve no wooden buildings here, we
might retort that there's many am honest
heart beats beneath ragged tent, or under
wagon cover, but the boomer editor
wouldn't understand our literary alluslon.
You might as well try to feed a hog on potty
defoy graw. As a matter Of fact, too, we
have seven board buildings already up-six
saloons and the Swedenborglan Church-and
the Boomsr man knows II, BY the way, we
hear that the regular fever and ague in King.
fisher Is supplemented Just now by mumps
and leprosy.
The SQHatter Is always ready to apologize
when il has made a mistake. It's alluson
yesterday to m-jams In connection with
Colonel Jug5on, on account of the Colonel
whoopings when he went 10 put on his boots
IN the morning, was, perhaps, not Justified by
the facts. II was n real black snake the
Colonel saw In his boot. The serpent Is sup
posed TO have orawled into the wagon after
eggs We hope TO number the Colonel among
our regular subscribers.
\(/
Nice fresh groceries et Arbuokles genuine
old Conestoga wagon on Brindle Steer avenue
II
s=-Slx citizens who were new TO our ways wer,
fatally injured at the election for coroner yes
terday. Accidents will happen in the bes
regulated families,
The editor of the Oklahoma Boomer oaml
over here last week to paint this town red
AS he oint used to whisky that isn't loaded
with quinine, he got sick In half an hour after
beginning his Internal orgies.
~
Now is the time 10 subscribe for tho SQudt
ter. Only ten subscribers 10 the SQuattei
were injured by bullets last week, record
far below that ai any OF our Territorial con
tempOraries. n
The Oatmeal Trust recently organized at
IT. Paul, Mum, has cNlapsed
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
THE PEOPLES COLUMN.

Communication on any matter of cur
rent interest will be cheerfully printed In
THE Critic under this head. Letters
should in all cases be as brief as possible.l
Mr.. Banks Side of the story.
WARRINGTON, April 23.-Editor Critic;
Since the trouble between Mr.. Tim Lee and
myself has found It's way into the colums
Of your paper, / desire to state facts TO the
public Just as IL occurred. General
Banks was writing letter Of Endorsement
for me for position as special agent for the
investigation of timber deprcdations. Mr.
Lee called im(General Banks) of privately,
and told him that ! was getting up fraudu-
lent papers, and, besides, slandered my
character.
General Banks went with me to Lee, and
| told Mr. Lee that he had told General
Banks falsehoods. He struck me; | re-
turned the. blow, passed three or four llcks.
This is what occurred. My Endorsements
will show to the Secretary Of Interior that
do not possess the character that Mr.. Lee
represented to General Banks. My charac-
ter is pure as that OF any man, and Is
thoroughly vindicated by the Endorsement,
of the best men in the Republican party in
North Carolina. EDWARD BANKS.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
THE sTATE-MAKERs.

The settlement of the new Territory
Of Oklahoma is one of the curious
events of the time. Here is a region
large enough for respectable State oc-
cupied in q day with floating popula-
iion of thousands left landless. Not
only are all the farms taken, but the
non-agricultural occupations are well
represented, and the butcher, the baker
and the blacksmith begin life together
in the new land Towns spring up
and State of the comparatively near
future comes into existence in day
II is all in sharp contrast with events Of
the time when few pioneers in the far
East worked apprchensively on the
edge of the wilderness and at night hid
with their wives and children behind
stoekades. It's not very long since the
Mayhower landed.
Very enterprising, vigorous and
foolish are the class Of pioneers who
have made America. They are the
dreamers of dreams. Oklahoma Is
probably no better than Northern Texas
or Southern Kansas, but the adventureI
will not be convinced Of it, His 1t is tC
have fancies and the pluck 10 seek fol
what lie believes exists. He Is a grea
factor in making nations,
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
SOCIAL AND PERSONAL

Mr.. and Mrs. Chapman gave box party
last night.
Mrs. Senator Mitchell and Miss Mitchell
arrived in Paris Friday.
Mrs. Whiting and the Misses Whiting are
at the Hotel Bristol, in Paris.
Senator and Mrs. Palmer left for home at
3 o'clock yesterday afternoon.
Mrs. Robert Peck and family win spend
the summer at Brookville, Nd.
Miss Marbury of Georgetown will shortly
visit Miss Benedict In Brooklyn.
Ex-Secretary and Mrs. Whitney will sail
Saturday on the Etruria for Europe.
Mrs. William Kane and Miss Kane OF
New York left Paris for home Sunday.
Mrs. Downs NJ. Wilson, who spent the
winter South, returned to this city last
week.
Ensign and Mrs. Wilkinson, from Annap-
oils, are visiting Mrs. Dostich, Mrs. Wilkin-
sons mother
Lieutenant and Mrs. Pendleton will let
their house on NJ street, and have moved to
the N.vyYard.
Miss Murphy, who has been Mrs. Iar
llson's guest, is now visiting General VIII
liamson's family.
Mr.. Gwyn Tompkins has cone from New
York to report the Ivy City meeSing for the
Erening san. lie is accompanied by Mrs.
Tompkips.
Mrs. Colonel John A. Joyce and two
daughters, of West Washington, returned
home yesterday from their trip to France
and Germany.
Mr.. and Mrs. Richard Nixon, who are
visiting Mrs. Nixon's mother in New Or
leans, are being shown great many clever
social attentions.
Mr. Curvicr Green was married :to Miss
Margaret Lanyford Adams at st. Johns
Georgetown, by Rev. Dir. Register The
bridal couple lett at once for tour to New
York and Do.ton.
The ladies' aid reception, for the benefit
OF the Homeopathic Hospital, at the Re-
publican League House last evening,
Hahnemann's birthday, was a brilliant af-
fair. The attendance was large and fash
ionable and the donations liberal. Haino-
nann's birthday is 70 be observed annually
hereafter.
Mr.. L, Wilbur Alderman and Miss Addie
/. Nelson were married by Rev. DR.. Sco;t,
Mis-. President Harrison's father, at his
residence yesterday. DR.. Scott has not pcg-
formed Il marriage ceremony before for
twenty years, and did yesterday at the earn
est request OF the BRIDES father, Captain
! L. A, Nelson.
Mr.. Johu Stephen and Miss Caroline
Beaufort Thompson were married at st..
Andrews Church yesterday. The maid of
honor was Miss Jennie e. Davis, who wore
dircctoire dress OF golden brown. Thco-
dore Pickett was the best man. The ushers
were Messrs. Thompson, brothers of the
bride; L. d. Lipscomb, Charles L. Sturte-
want, Il. q. Du Dois.
Miss Mamie Taylor of 1919 N street and
Mr. Edward Dent, son of Hon. Josiah
Dent Of Georgetown, were married this af
ternoon at st. Adams Church, near Oak
View, in the presence Of a few intimate
friends. The bride was attired in travelling
costume, and after the ceremony the young
couple departed for New York to spend
their honeymoon.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
AN IMPORTANT PARSONAGE.

Some thoughtlcss newspaper, com
menting on the interest which attaches
in the public mind 10 all connected with
the private life of the President of the
United States, sneers nj the fact that
even the White House cook comes in
for attention. This sneer comes from
lack of sense.
Why should the people of the United
States not feel deep interest in the
character of the White House cook.
Where is there an individual who, in
directly, has greater influence on the
destinies of the country. We know
more than we did II century ago. We
know that the heart, instead of being
the seat of sentiment, is a coarse pump
ing machine; we know that the brain
is an impression receiving affair; we
know that the stomach is whence or
ders are tclegraphed along the nerves.
The man who has eaten properly
cooked dinner is calm and wise; he
who has eaten an indigestible dinner is
captlous and has not good judgment.
The White House cook is q power.
With good cook in the White House
we may expect as good an Administro.
iion as IL 10 in the power of the Pres
ident TO give. With bad cook we may
have the Presidents usefulness greatly
impaired. This is reason.
All the filings at the absurdity of men.
tioning the White House cook in the
dispatches and in correspondence are
absurd. The people of this country
should have regarding the White House
cook as great solicitude as concerning
any other official of the Administration
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23

THE Prohibitionist party may always be
depended upon to defeat itself. In Massa-
chusetts yesterday It went under by 5000.
The club that killed the party was the
amendment to the constitution prohibiting
the manufacture and sale Of intoxicating
liquors as q beverage. The trouble with
the Prohibitionist is that he wants the whole
earth before he has secured a deed to a
shovel full Of ground. The party has
worked long enough and hard enough to
get what II wants all at once, TO have
secured the result GRADUALLY.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
A Disappointed Lover.

At Leavenworth, Kansas, recently there
was habeas corpus case In chambers, be-
fore Judge Robert Croshier. z. A. Shilling,
young man of Phillipsburg, NJ. T., alleges
that Miss Anna p. Connolly, to whom he
was engaged to be married, was unlawfully
imprisoned at Mount st. Mary's Academy
at Leavenworth, by the Mother Superior in
charge, at the instigation Of the young
lady's father. AS 1t was shown that Miss
Connolly was over IS years of age the writ
wes issued, but to her lovers great discom-
fture she said, when placed on the stand,
that she did not care to leave school. OF
course, that settled 1t.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
WASHINGTON, APRIL so, 1889.
PRESIDENTIAL RECEPTIONS.

The Cabinet meets on Tuesdays and
Fridays at $780, p. m.
Senators and Representatives in Congress
will be received by the President every day,
except Mondays, from 10 until 12.
Persons not members Of Congress having
business with the President will be received
from IL until on Wednesdays, Thursdays
and Saturdays.
Those who have no business, but call
merely to pay their respects, will be re-
ceived by the President In the East Room
at p. m. on Mondays, Wednesdays and
saturdays.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
In Corea at Night.

A correspondent from Corea says;
Everybody is IN white robes and even
though a man has sot only one suit IN the
world II is clean. When be goes home at
night, If he belongs to the poor class, hero
tires to bed aud bis wife washes aud pom
mels bis clothes. | say "pommels,n for
ironing is an unknown ant in Corea. After
being washed the calico is stretched on a
wooden block, and then with fiat block OF
wood In each band the woman pounds II for
hours. After sunset all Seoul rings with
the daciylic tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tAp OF
these domestic voices OF the night, as with
the incessant cry Of million strldent In
Eects.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
AMELIE R1vEs.
story of a Garter in philadelphia.

story OF "a 1afteT III Intihuoiputts
Some time ago one of the swellest Of the
swell girls of West Spruce street lost at a
dance flne silkeu garter. A search was
made for It after the house was cleared
without result, and 1t was mourned as II IL
had gone for good.
Three days ago well-known club man,
with his familiar pug dog, appeared In Rt
tenhouse Square, and the pug had for the
collar the lost garter-a blue one with silver
clasps. Before the pug and his master had
gone a block lady who knew the garter
and the garter's owner saw 1t and recog-
ilzed II. Inside OF an hour she told the
owner Of the lost article, and by sundown
the article was claimed by the brother OF It's
fair owner and restored. Meanwhile all
sorts OF unpleasant stories are aoatIng about
as to how the club man obtained possession
VI the article Philadelphia News.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23

Sojourning for brief time at the Everett
ia short man with sandy whiskers and
mustache and ilorid complexion, which
make him look like an English squire, lie
is Alvey A. Adee, Assistant Secretary Of
State. Mr.. Adee has been fixture In the
Department Of State for many years, and is
reputed TO be among the most learned men
In diplomatic lore and International law In
Washington. There is no one talked Of
for his place. New York Star.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
Chews Tobacco with a Relish at 90,

Chews Tobacco With a Relish at 90.
j. C. McGough. who lives In the eastern.
edge OF Eibb County, was in Macon, Ca,
recently. He got up Tuesday morning,
hitchcd up his mule, drove thirteen miles
into the city, made the tax returns, signed
the blank with steady hand, chatted
pleasantly with Captain Anderson aud was
as cheerful as could be. Mr.. McGough is
in his Goth year and has been making his
returns and paying his taxes without inter
mission since Dlbb has been a county. He
says he has been paying taxes for eighty
years. He chews tobacco with as much
relish as boy who has just learned how,
His hair is only partially sprinkled with
white and he looks aud acts as though he
were good FOR many years yet.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23

people did for those who were in peril
in Apio harbor. They deserve IL from
this Government. and deserve 1t in sub.
stantial form. 1t will do no harm for
the Samonns to learn that Americans
are not ungrateful
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23

IF Harper's Weekly was desirous of pub
fishing the portrait of distinguished Mug
wump as companion picture to that of it's
able editor it would not select the hand
some face Of First Assistant Postmaster
General Clarks sOn
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23

MANS lnborn appetite for stimulants,
gaming and sexual cohabitation can be
reguldted by laws and customs of civilized
communities, but no law or constitutional
amendment ever did or ever can prohiJitthe
exercise Of his natural desires. 1t is time
the prohibition cranks throughout the
country realized the force of Natures ON
nipotent DEGREES.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23

MRs ELLA WHEELER WILCOX, Mrs.
Gertrude Franklin Atherton, Mrs. Amelie
Rives- Chanler, Miss Laura Daintry and Mr.
Edgar saltus are al tangled up as the re-
suit Of the holy war between the ladies' II
is delightful affair, but the dish is just
trihe gamey for any but a trained taste
Use lots Of red pepper.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23

SoMs OF THE disappointed applicants for
Comptroller of the Currency are giving out
that when Mr.. Lacey, the successful ap-
pointee, was member Of the Forty-nInth
Congress he made . speech, in which he
characterized the Senate as a body "where
wealth nccumulates and men decay" They
feed on the hope, possibly, that the rule
adopted in the Senate against IIalstead may
apply to Lacey when his nomination comes
ND for confirmation,
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
A Convict Escapes Through Sewer


John Burke, convict In the Maryland
penitentiary, escaped yesterday afternoon
and has not yet been recaptured. Burke
and Andrew L. Hand, both Of New York,
were arrested on October 2, 1885, in the
Merchants National Bank OF Baltimore,
for attempting the drop game on manu-
facturer named George w. Parks. They
were each sentenced for ten years and six
months. A sentry patrolled the wall and
had clear view Of all the men In the prison
yard save when he turned to resume his
march. A sewer, three feet In diameter,
had an outlet in the upper end OF the yard
and extended eco yards under the Jail and
let into JONES' Falls. Burke took advan-
tage Of the sentrys back being turned and
escaped through the sewer, two of the bars
having been cut apparently by an accom-
pllce' as they were sawn from the other
slime, and deputy took forty-fve
minutes to reach the outlet.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23

Jennie johnson is a small colored woman
aud William. Lancaster, a large colored man.
William doesn't know who hit him with a
brick, but was informed that II was Jen-
ME, and he had her arrested. Jennie said
she never touched him, and Judge Miller
dismissed the case.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
Half Rates to New York, via Pennsyi-
vania Railroad, for the Washington
CantanninI

Centennial.
In order to afford the public every facility
for attending the Centennial Celebration OF
General Washington's Inauguration as first
President OF the United States, to be eele-
/, the Pennsylvania Railroad Company win
sell excursion tickets to New York, be-
tween April ~ and May /, inclusive, at
$3.50 from Washington. Tickets are good
only for continuous passage on through
trains to New York from April 27 to May
!, but no ticket will be sold ON May for
any train arriving in New York later than
noon OF that day, Returning tickets will
be good for continuous passage on trains
leaving New York ON April ~ to May 9,
inclusive,
Edward Mitchell of New York yesterday
recovered $4,000 damages from the Metro
politan and Manhattan Elevated Railroad
Companies for injury to his property.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23

New York SOCIETY will have a yawning
abyss up and down it from April 80, 1889,
to the end of the finite calendar. And
Ward McAllister and stuyvesaut Fish
can't make 1t close up by plunging into IT,.
The Washington critic., 1889-04-23
SOMETHING DUE THE sAMoANs.

SOMETHING DUE THE sAMoANs.
What shall be done for the Samoans?
In the formal report Of Admiral Kim
berly ON the disaster in the Pacific, he
but confirms what was related in the
first accounts Of the noble conduct of
the natives Of the island in isking their
own lives in saving those of Ameri-
cans, and of their subsequent generosity
in furnishing supplies and in working
on the wrecked vessels without reward
or expectation of any, Had the people
OF some port of some Christian nation
shown the same bravery and the same
kindness and forgetfulness of self
there would have been shown here at
once keen appreciation Of 1t all, and
steps would have been taken to make
this appreciation manifest to those who
had succored Americans In distress. As
II Is, the Samoans have thus far been
left TO learn that virtue is its own
reward.
Sarely there should be some formal re-
cogpilioa VI what King Malieloa and his