davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17
HISTORICAL PUNS
Some That Have Played a Formidable
Fart In Politics and Diplomacy.

Some That Have Played Formidable
Fart In Politics and Diplomacy.
The Roman Bishops famous com.
pliment to the handsome Ang o-Saxor
captives, Not Angles. but angels. "
had greater results than its actual
brilliancy might seem to merit; and
St Leo doubtless had no idea when he
prayed to Heaven to aid Rome against
the invt ding Huns, land hurl back
these Tartars into the fires of Tar
tarus," that this punning prayer was
to fix upon the unlucky "Tartars" Gas
they were then called) a nickname that
would never die.
Such puns have more than once
played formidable part in history.
France expiated by the devastation OF
an entire province a coarse and clumsy
play upon corpse and ''corpulence"
made by the French King in derison of
his terrible neighbor, William the
Conqueror. Charles VS. testing
assertion that he could put
Paris in his glove (gant. though
meant only TO indicate the superior
size OF Client to the Paris OF that day,
stung Francis !. into the renewal of a
languishing war. One OF Louis XIV. g
upstart favorites was driven from the
court by the biting pun that turned his
new title of Marquis de Vandiere into
Marquis d'Avant-hier" (the day be-
fore yesterday.
The epigrammatic brevity of Sir
Francis brakes celebrated, but prob
ably mythical, dispatch announcing the
rout of the Armada-which consisted
of the single word "Cantharides, i. e.,
the Spanish fy-has been twice paral-
leled in our own age. Sir Charles
Napier and Lord Dalhousie respective
ly announced the annexation of Scinde
and that of Dude in one word apiece,
''Peccavi." Ihave sinned (Scinde). and
Vow" have vowed (Oude). Equally
historical is the bitter pun that changed
the name of the sluggish Admiral Tor
rington to Admiral Tarry-in-town."
\NIO nO
jesting) is credited with only single
pun, and that rather poor one. Dur
ing his great Italian campaign of
1867 he replied to a lady, who won
dered to find such a famous man so
young: Il am young to-day, but to-
morrow I shall have Milan" e. @.
''naille ans" thousand years). A
much better joke was that made on the
great conqueror himself by an Italian
Countess. who. hearing him say: "All
Italians are traitors" replied, pointed
ly: Not all of them. but good part"
Buo-na-parte). Equally neat, and
even more grimly significant was Bis
marck's answer to a person who was
specializing how much the impending
war Of 1870 would cost France. Not
much" said the Iron Count; ''only two
Napoleons"-David Ker. in Harper's
Magazine.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17
SHERIFF'S SALE

TTSDER AND BY VIRTUE OF AN ORDER
- OF sale issued by the Clerk Of the District
Court OF Dickinson County, State Of Kansas in a
cause pending therein, wherein I'd. W Rnhe IA
plaintiff and g. w. G. Rohrer, Maggie A. Rohrer
The Farmers State Bank OF Solomon CITY. Kansas
me City OF Abilene, Kansas, Della Harvey, II, N
" arner and i: b. Bullene, L. X. Moore w E.
Emery, j. 7. Bird, B. W. Thayer and John Dog
geJt partners as Bullene, Moore Emery & COM
Pany and, Charles Lawrence. Edwin Manning.
calvin Manning and S. g. Cushing partners 81
Lawrence Manning & Cushing; G. W. Neidiek y
company and Charles W. Noyes, Marion 8. Nor
man, James NJ. kemper, and Merrett d. Brown
partners rs Noyes, Norman & company; n. D.
Wells company, the American National Bank
or Kansas city, Missouri; the Abilene Invest.
ment company, the Abilene National Rank OF
Abilene, Kansas; the First National Bank, of
Abilene. Kansas; the Havana Cigar company e.
b. warren & company, and William Best. VI. II
hussel, and Lorln Palmer partners as Best Rus
sell Company; the Goodyear Rubber company
" lInck, Fenneld Paine, and b. A. Sumner and
d. sumner, Partners as Sumner Bros; the Abb
lene Town company, and the Abilene Improve
ment company, are defendants. will, on
MONDAY NOV. 4th, A. D. 1889.
at the front door OF the court house. In the city of
Abilene, county of Dickinson, State OF Kansas.
at 10 O'Clock a. H. or said day sell TO the highest
tate, to-wIt:
Lot number eight (s) in block number two (s)
and lot number six (6) in block number twelve
w IN Highland addition to the city Of Abilene
ana lots numbers thirteen and fourteen Q3 and
l4) in block number fourteen Q4) and lots num-
bers fifteen Q5) sixteen (l6) seventeen ID and
eighteen QS) in block number twenty-nine COY
and IoCs numbers eleven (Il) twelve (l2) thirteen
(3) and fourteen (l4) in block number thirty (SOJ
In Fairview addition to the city OF Abilene in
Dickinson county, State OF Kansas. subject to
$40 due said Abilene Town company for purchase
money.
The said real estate will be sold pursuant to
the Judgment OF the Court In said cause recIted
in said order Of sale.
Witness my hand this LIST day Of October A
d. 1889. d. W NALL
est Sheriff of Dickinson Countv Voc
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17
SHERiEE'S SALE

Under and by virtue Of an order OF sale issued
oy me CLERK OF the District Court Of Dickinson
County. State ul kan>aS I'm A cause bending
therein. wherein LaYIna p. T. Petitions l. plain.
IN, md Geo.ge W. ThiSler and J. q Fisher are
defendants. I will. on
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 4, AID. 1889.
az the front Goor OF The court house. in the city of
at 10 O'Clock m. OF said day sell to the highest
oldder, Tor cash, the following described real
eSt:te tO-Wit:
Tue southeast quarter SELL and the south
eaSi Quarter Is e ~ of the northeast quarter On
a. OF section thirty-six 1857, township twelve
O2) range four % east Of the Sixth principal
meridian IN Dickinson county, state OF Kansas
Inc SUD real estate will be sold pursuant to
the Judgment or the court in said cause recird In
said order OF sale -
Witness my hand this 10th day Of September
A. ID. 1859. wv NALL
G-5 Sheriff OF Dickinson conntv K.nsas
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

HAPPY" said Dickinson county farmer with
smile on his face that reached around back OF
his ears. ''well, should say so. Last year we
were too poor to flag bread wagon and now we
have pie three times day."-IAbilene REFLEc-
TOR.
Aye, there's the rub! The average
farmer lives up to what he makes and
contents himself on hog and hominy, if
it's all he has, and revels deep in good
things if the times are good. 1t is the
failure. in time of plenty, to put by a
mite for the coming rainy day that has
put the nose of more than one farmer
out of joint Hope Herald.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

JUNCTION CITY is enjoying quite a
boom on account of the location of the
Union Pacific shops and the extensive
improvements at Fl. Riley. We con-
graduate our sister city on its pros
perity. We, however, fail to see the
necessity for the Union keeping stand
ing at the head of its columns the lying
statement that Abilene has but $500
population when the last assessors re-
port was 5. 1876 and that die not include
all the suberb population. Honesty is
a good policy, even in booming town.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17
1t is undeniable land it is useless to

1t is undeniable land it is useless to
endeavor to conceal the fact that since
the days of DR.. Marvin the power and
usefulness of the <. S. U. has materi-
ally decreased. It does not today oc-
cupy the position that it once did nor
hold its old rank among the institu-
tons of the country. 1t alone among
Kansas long list of public institutions
Of which she is proud has refrigerated.
1t will continue to do so unless there is
put at the head of it man who will
have the confidence not only of the
whole state, but of outside educators
as well. These qualifications Mr.. Can
field does not possess and the board
realizes it.
The thing, then, for the regents to do
is to elect a chancellor, and at once.
The attempt to conduct the university
with temporary head is as absurd as
to have legislative body continue in
session without electing a presiding
officer. The fate of Missouri's univer-
sity, which is more of a nonentity in
the educational world than many high
school, should be warning to Kansas.
AS we said before, if the board of re-
gents has not enough nerve to elect a
chancellor, rather than allow the uni
versity to wander aimlessly along an
other year let the gentlemen's resigna-
tions be asked for and board appoint
ed that will advance the schools and
Kansas interests.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17
SHERnF'S Sale.

TTNDER AND BY VIRTUE OF AN ORDER
- Of sale Issued by the clerk OF the District
Court OF Dickinson county, State OF Kansas, in q
cause pending therein. wherein s. Mexican Is
plaintiff and James Brady, Sarah A Brady, L
+. Smith, W. a. Cormack, Walter Scott, Cashier
Ottawa county bank the Wheeler and Wilson
Manufacturing company, Christian Hoffman and
G. b. Hoffman, partners az G. Hoffman & son, and
Timothy ID sweet, trustee are defendants will,
On
MONDAY, NOV. 4th, A. D. 1889,
at the front door OF the house. in the City Of
Abilene, county or Dickinson, State OF Kansas
at 10 O'Clock m. Of said day sell to the highest
bidder for cash, the following described real es-
tate to-wit:
Three hundred and sixty feet of OF lot number
two ~, four a. six () and eight (s) in block i've
(5) also lot one ~ and three (3) in block twenty
three (2 all in the city Of Enterprise in Dickin-
son county, state Of Kansas.
The said real estate will be sold pursuant TO the
judgment Of the court in said cause reclted In
said order Of sale.
Witness my hand this LIST day Of October, A.
d. 1889. ID. W. NALL,
6-5 Sheriff of Dickinson county, Kansas.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

IT is said that an English syndicate
with an immense amount of confederate
bonds in its possession has an agent here
threatening the southern states that
unless the bonds are at least partially
paid the south can have no more
money. The chump may as well go
home to his fellow chumps. The
United States is not any more a pau
per, and does not have to go to Eng
land for its meney. at home we have
the capital and the labor to build up
and develop the south and west, no
thanks to our English cousins. AS for
the bonds they will make pretty wall or
wrapping paper.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

A CONVENTION of authors and
artists at Kansas City reveals to the
world that the literary movement
throughout the west is growing pain
fully intense. One of the embarrass-
ments of travel in that section now is the
uncertainty which prevails in the mind
of the stranger when he is met by a
committee of citizens as to whether he
Is in the hands Of a Browning society
or of sheriff's posse.-[Chicago News.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE Abilene REFLECTOR remarks
that "it is one of the striking examples
of the total depravity of inanimate
things that the typographical errors
Away occur in the finest passages of
your pet articles" That was just
what We thought the other day when
the REFLECTOR criticised a paragraph
from the Tribune about Will Carleton's
City Legends, which should have read
"a new edition." but didn't.-[Law-
renee Tribune.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

SECRETARY BLAINE must rejoice in
the final consummation of his All
America convention. He had it ar
ranged for in 1881 but the turn in
affairs put Frellnghuyson in power.
He was too slow and then came Bayard
who was worse than cipher, so that
the scheme languished. Now the man
from Maine is at the helm again and
one of the grandest conceptions of
modern political advancement may be
accomplished.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17
SHERIFF,S SALE.

TTNDKR AND BY VIRTUE OF AN ORDER
~ OF sale issued by the clerk Of the District
Court OF Dickinson county, State OF Kansas In
Cause pending therein, wherein B. r. Able Is
plaintiff and Laura j. jenkins, Joseph Z. jenkins,
w. /. Miller and j. Thomas. partners doing BUSH
ness under the firm name OF Miller Thomas, j.
J. BERRY and p. j. Berry. partners doing bust
ness under the firm name Of Berry Brothers are
Defendants, will, on
MONDAY, OCT. 81, A. D. 1889.
at the front door OF the court house. in the city OF
Abilene, County or dickinson, State Of Kansas at
10 O'Clock a. m, Of said day, sell TO the highest
bidder for cash, the following described real e.
tate, to wit:
The North half of the southwest quarter OF
section thirty-twO (32) in township fifteen O5)
south OF range one (D east of the 9Th principal
meridian In Dickinson county, state Of Kansas
The said re. estate will be sold pursuant 10
the judgment Ofthe court in i'd cause recittd IN
said order OF sale.
Witness my hand this 18th day Of Sept. A. D.
1889. ID. w. NALL,
az Sheriff of Dickinson Comfy Kansa.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17
Our Brilliant l?l Regents.

The state board of regents deserves
a leather medal for its mastery mac
tivity" in the chaneellOrship matter,
Last evenings dispatches were to the
effect that the board being unable to
agree upon Prof. Garfield it was de-
cided to let the university 60 through
the year with Prof. Snow in temporary
charge and without any attempt to
elect chancellor until next June. If
this is true the honorable regents
should be requested to hand in their
designations to Governor Humphrey
and allow him to appoint board that
is able to transact the business for
which it is organized.
While we commend the board for
realizing that the prosperity of the
state university would be jeopardized
by the election of Mr.. Garfield we can
see no reason for its delay in selecting
some other better man land there are
thousands of them to be securely Po-
sitions like the chancelIorship of the
Kansas university do not go a-begging.
There are able educators both east and
west who would be glad to be honored
with it. And the board of regents in
refusing to select responsible head for
the institution is guilty of a breach of
trust imposed upon it.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

IT is said that Emil Firmin, Kansas
commissioner to Paris, has spent his
$4,000 bonus and wants more money to
come home with. The governor should
send him a good strong piece of rope
with the suggestion that he use it in a
moose just below his ears. A boodler
like Firmin who hasn't sense enough
to keep what he gets deserves no mercy.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

No man can afford to compromise
his political principles by giving both
sides "a half vote" by staying away
from election. Go to the polls every
time and vote your honest convictions =
which in Dickinson county this year
means the republican ticket.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

A RABID New York democratic pa
per referred to the Empire states chief
executive the other day as Governor
He'll" The Tribune is wicked enough
to intimate that the error was excus-
able on account of his intimate connec-
ton with whisky.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE illness of Samuel J. Randall
will be regretted by every American
familiar with public affairs. Randall
is one of the few politicians of the
country great enough to be above party
and has done much to continue the
prosperity-giving system Of protection
which has developed this nation.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THERE appears to be some republicans In Kan:
sas'Fho have discovered the connection between
tariffs and trusts.-[ Louisville Courier Journal.
Yes, 50, 900 majority for republican
ism and protection would seem to show
that there are a good many who have
discovered" that no tariff means an
abundance Of trusts.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE Chapman high school is holding
its own and more in the way of attend
ance. Eighty-two pupils are now at
work there and more will enter. This
is about double the number expected
and shows that the school is more than
fulfilling all anticipations.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

KANSAS is favored land, where "the sweet
ness OF the violets deep blue eyes, kissed by the
breath Of heaven, seems colored by its Skies
Detroit Free Press.
1t takes Michigander used to murky
skies and slushy roads to appreciate the
beauties of the Sunfower states "Ital-
ian climate
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

PROFESSOR CANFIELD has been de-
feated for chancellor of the state uni
versity. And thus the incongruity of
a free trade head for the leading educa-
tional institution of an overwhelmingly
protection state will be prevented
TEmporia Republican.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

DOUGLAS county is enjoying lone of
the greatest political fights known in
years" according TO the Record. The
fun of it is that no one but The Record
editor has heard of it.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

SENATOR INGALLS, having remarked
that the late Ex-Governor Martin
''never stopped over" the Lawrence
Tribune suggests that the reason prob
ably is because he never got full.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

a NEW YORK man proposes for the
worlds fair a broad tower forty-twO
stories in height, each story to represent
the industries and products of one of
the states. Kansas wants the top
story and will furnish the best display
of the LOT.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE Solomon Valley Democrat says
that "old man German will suit the
Third district voters "tO a 7 Y, ty.''
Yes, he will if they want On the board
of commissioners nonenti-TY, ty.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

WE understand that the Hutchinson
News punster is only waiting for some
thing to happen 20 the Emperor of
Russia to spring upon the public re-
mark regarding his being called to fill a
Czar-conhaQus.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE Clay Center Times adds the
latest chapter to the ''fly'' series by re-
marking that 1.-THE school ma'am makes
the pad fY -
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE latest example of the Topeka
Democrats wild notions is that ii
thinks Campbell will be elected COVER
nor of Ohio.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE immigration tide into Kansas
is at high mark. The Santa Fe road is
said to be carrying the majority of the
incomers into the southwestern part of
the state. Central Kansas should get
ND and hustle.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE Fifth district seems to be pre-
pairing for some lively diminishing in
the next nine months. If John A.
does not hustle the chances are that he
will have to rustle-in some other po-
sition than that of congressman.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE Topeka Capital gracefully takes
water on its OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
land article. 1t probably takes comfort
IL the thought that even Jupiter maps
at times.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THAT Kansas is considered of much
more Importance than its neighboring
states is proved by the fact that the
Kansas City Globe keeps IA special
column for Kansas visitors and aecordS
no such honor to any other state.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THANKSGIVING will soon be here and
Kansas will give thanks with a more
heartfelt earnestness and with better
reason than for years.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

SALINA went back on the north and
south road. Salinas citizens know
that they can not afford such expensive
luxuries as bonds for new railroads.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

The gallant John Sherman's voice is
heard in the Ohio campaign with its
old vigor. No sulking in the tent with
Sherman, he is ever at the front.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THERE will probably be rebellion"
in the Kansas Knights Templar ranks
the sunlower state did not receive any
high officers at the conclave.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

Farmers, take your
chickens. butter, eggs
and potatoes to the
Spot Cash and get the
highest market price.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

- DR.. PHILLIP KRoHN is now editor
Of the Atchison Champion. He will
give especial attention to sporting and
bofnl powl
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

KANSAS CrTY's tax list occupies
ten pages in the News, fine print. II
would seem as if the Capitals famous
''rum-ruined-city" article was pretty
we'll based.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

When a man gets to be a grand
father he signs as he thinks how old
his wife is.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE Abilene REFLECTOR mentions that the En-
terpuse Miller is the most foury paper in Kansas.
A bran new sheet, isn't it?-IEmporia Republi
can.
Oh, no, it has been in existence a
middling long time.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

CLICK got $4,000 out of his three
years administration of the pension Of
fee.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE Teachers association of Pawnee
county calls itself, 1.-The Tribe of Gads"
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

THE son of John P. st. John Is a
drunkard. The hypocrisy of his father
disguised him with temperance.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-17

OCTOBER II, 1888.
Telegram-herald., 1889-10-30
LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY.
The Honesty OF an Employe of the star
Clothing COmpany-InterestinS
Facts for the Public.

4 gentleman was IN our store yester
day morning with his wife. He bought
one OF our > hats, that are selling
everywhere for 50, and after he left the
salesman, Mr.. Gels, reported to the
Office and handed in a large amount Of
money that the customer had dropped.
1t he should see this advertisement We
hope he Will call and receive his money,
but trust that be Will call before 3
O'Clock, as we have a special sale in our
boys department that commences at 3
O'Clock and Will close at 9. The bar
gains we offer are worth over 100 per
cent more than We viii sell for, as
follows:
BOYS Grey Sattinet OvercOats, > to 10,
only soc; these are worth Sl.50.
Bargain No. 2-Sizes 4 too, some over
coats worth from $3.50 to 50, we Will
sell at q 60.
Bargain No. 3-Boys' Long Pants,
Diagonal Suits, worth 800, only 99c,
sizes u TO Il.
Bargain No. 4-Bovs' $3.50 Diagonal
Mixed suits only s2.69.
Bargain No. Boys All Wool Mixed
Cashmere suits, sizes 70 y. the best
wearing - suit in the country, today,
ol'v from 70 Q %. IN. at s. 40.
Bargain 40. 6-BOys' MerlnO Under
wear. an SIZES. worth 35c. for only l3c
After YOU have bought these goods
If not satisfied your money viii be re-
funded. STAR CLOTHING HoUsE.