The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1889-11-01
PlTH n POINTS

PERsrrRATrox never rains but II
pores.
vcLrlNa into the unknown--Death
by electricity.
A SYNDICATE of cattlemen has q per-
feet right to water its stock.
IT's odd how much food q horse q
60 without and still be no faster.
The waiter girl is different from .
poet. She is not born; she is maid to
order.
The Ay-wheei is the anarchist of me-
chanics. It is always engaged in revo-
buttons.
CHICAGO has a gigantic leather trust.
The increasing size of the women's
shoes render it necessary.
Why don't they select sailors as base
ball umpires? A tar ought to be a
good judge how a thing is pitched.
WHEN a married woman goes out to
look after.her rights her husband is
usually left at home with his wrongs.
WESTERN jeweler, whose store was
attached by q Buffalo IN. VI creditor,
HOStCN LIS AOUASO vi UAc OOOIs SkUH6U
to meet Buffalo Bill"
QUEEN of Spain-Good gracious!
The baby king has the stomach-ache.
Lord Chamberlain (excitedlv) - Call
the Secretary Of the Interior!
OMAHA TEAcHER-I would like some
one of the class to define the meaning
of vice versa. Bright boy-It's sleep
;no with x,o,,r fook fou,o nj. kLo hn.I -
the bed.
THEY sat within the parlor dim
And fretfully she laid to him;
u wish, dear John, that you'd behave.
Boston Courier.
LITTLE Ethel less than three years
old, saw o man walking along the street
with his arm in q sling. ooh, mamma"
she cried, "there goes o man with his
arm in a hammock"
STRANGER-I'd like ter git a Job at
something, but I'm a stranger here an
amt got nc references. Merchant--In
that case there is no chance for YOU
anywhere, except on the police force.
This is a world of vicissitudes. To-
day a man is pressing his suit for a
wife; tomorrow q tailor is pressing his
suit for his wedding, and the next day
q lawyer is pressing his suit for a di-
vorce.
"MAMMA," said the little daughter of
q frequently stirred" merchant, syou
know the story in our reader about the
king who never smiled again?" @Yes,
yes, dear" sWell, does that mean that
he signed the pledge?"
pnrvpx,r,p Tno.Io. r To-. H..
thought of that young Mr.. Tease, and
how he used to torment Miss Auburn
about her red hair. Did she ever get
even with him? Old friend-Long
ago. She married him.
sNow, which of the great men in the
past would You rather be, Roberto"
asked the teacher, after o long and in
teresting talk on the celebrities of his
tory. "None of 'em," replied Robert;
promptly. "None of them! Why not?"
s'Cause they're all dead"
A GIRL who has got tired of single
blessedness wrote to her intended as
follows: "Dear Jim; cum rite off if
you are cummin' at al. Ed Hilton is
insistin' that I shell hev him, and he
hugs and kisses ME SO much that I
can't hold out much longer"
GoRa1E's uncle-Now, George, you
know cannibals are people who live off
each other. Georgie-aYour'e a canni-
bal, amt you, uncle?" @Why no,
George! Why do you ask?" "Well,
papa said to me last night that you'd
been living off your relations.for years"
A FRAGMENT.
Dear Kate: By this mail I advance
To youthe remnant of my pants.
There's just the waist-bnnd and ono leg
Which you'll accept with love. I beg.
It may be when you find the rest
They II make your brother Tin . vest.
The shreds I send arc very slight,
Your pas dog got the rest last night.
Omaha World.
HIS chances improving: sDo YOU
love me, dear?" asked Cholly softly.
well, Cholly," said Molly, ito tell
you the truth, I am not quite sure; but
I think perhaps I could love you
enough to be your wife if you could
only manage to getyour salary raised"
BALD-HEADEp and very homely old
gentleman Ito photograper)-Drat such
pictures! Can't you make me look any
better than that after five sittings?
Photographer thoroughly exasperated)
II think I can, sir, if. you will allow
me to take the back of your head. It
hasn't SO much expression as the other
side, but it's q blamed sight prettier.