Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1889-08-22
WIT AND UUMOR.
a printed order of exercises is sort
OF oll, of rites IL Detroit Free Press.

Ge0erailN me bigger mans heart
Is, the hghtec lerre Hiute Express.
The tenderest drum solos are those
that have never been played. -Nei0 Or
leans Eic1ytme.
A mau must feel flat whom he must
hang around for a square meal.-NcU
Orleans PieayUle.
Talk about wanting the earth; some
men wouldn't be satisfied with an up
holStered comet.-iGck.
Because man lacks polish, By no
means does it follow that he isn't
bright. tt Detroit Free Press.
Many a woman becomes some mans
better half merely for change of
quarters. 49, Terra Haate Express.
In evening dress man should be-
lieve all he hears, to be consistent with
his swallow-tale coat, -Ntl0 Orleans
PcqyuRe.
The family with a l6-year-old boy
in the house has no use whatever for
twenty-four volume ENCYCLOPEDIA
SomerUke Journal.
A Cork Trust is about to be organ
lied. 1t viii float all right until it
strikes the Corkscrew Trust. which
will phil it, san Francisco alta.
Everything has its use i'm this world.
Even the fly that persistently refuses
to be caught teaches the bald-headed
man patience. - S0mcrUHc J0UrHlL
There's beautiful specimen of
chasing" cried jeweller, as he
watched a policemans pursuit of
window masher.-jc0ei1-'s Weekly
II it be true that the farmers are not
in cord with the Irvine Trust, it is
not likely that any of them will be
roped into it, - Bmghamt0R Republican.
Nothing comes amiss 20 me,n re-
marked the man who had married
three times and secured a widow for
his partner each time. -- Washington
| Critic.
Mr.. B0ody House-How are you on
the Southern race question, PerryP
Mr.. Perry ST. Clair Gust returned from
Louisville meeting) Broke. - Toledo
Btddc,
Il understand, old man, that YOU
have made a good deal Of moncvPn
20. "a few thousand "Buyiug real
estate, ehPn "No; selling it, '-Li9-
coin Journal.
Gould you give a man LITE" asked
seedy looking man az the door of an
office binding. Certainly, take the
elevator at the end of the hall. '-Mcr-
chaest IrauelGr.
1t is said The Devil seeks for man
in 4 passion IN that case the Devil
is too fresh. When man is hopping
mad. he is generally able to speak for
himself. r. Ntl0 orleans Picayujte.
-Four Oil City ladies met on one Of
our streets the other day aud talked
five minutes without uttering single
word of gossip. A great many strange
things happen in Oil City. Bttzsdrd.
Tompkins explained to friend that
the reason that he always carried an
umbrella was not because il was rain
ing in London but because his wife
was reigning at home. - HHtia,ed Her
alG
Bradley Hullo. Biggarsl Hard at
Wbe NJ SUI way hi@ - h'dlh
good joke ON You awhile ago. 1t was
abuat you and Biggars Ssh. My
wife's in the back Office. 9erre Haute
Express.
Aa exchange say, "The smile is the
same in all languages. IL varies in
our land, however, in the matter of
size, from half dngerin New Orleans
to four fingers in Boston. --MartAa
Vineyard Heratd
McC0rker isn't showing
up we'll so far this season. Is hep What
is the cause, do you SUPPOSED Too
little gymnasium practice last winterP
Field Nav! Too much advance
manes Boston Herdid.
Old Cashbox Go applicant for clerk
ship Have you any bad habits, young
manP Applicant with humility
Well, yes. sir | sometimes think !
drink too much cold water with my
meals. - Boston Heraid.
"Dr. TauUer was not the first man
who lived on water for forty days
said Smudge. "NoP" queried Fudge.
"0f course NOT "Who else?n "Wcll,
what's the matter with Noahp-SaH
Francisco NeWS Letter.
Owing to the depressed condition of
the market for sardincs, it is reported
that not half of the sardine factories
ia Maine will be run the present year.
This viii materially reduce the demand
for brass labels printed in pure French.
-L0WeA Courier.
81 declare it's a shame" said the
young man who lived in New Jersey
to his sweetheart. The mosquitoes
are so bad that you have TO wear a veil
when we 20 driving, aud the idea OF
driving with girl who wears veil
-NeD York Sun.
First New Yorker-Poe's cottage
was sold at auction yesterday and will
be preserved as a memorial. Second
New Yorker-You don't say 50. What
a shamei We could put that on the
road and make a fortune in month.
-Fhtladelpbta Inquirer.
Mrs. SIimdiet. the landlady-Excuse
me, Mr.. Dashaway. | notice you nave
dropped a small bit Of fish on your
waistcoat Dashaway- Thank you,
madam. You will pardon me if re-
4 Il 4 a