The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1889-03-16
THE BowsER FAMILY.

ciShucoo VI oCotu Sct duCou VI 10 90 o
family if any effort of his can prevent.
and he is always doing the right thing
in the nick of time. One day he came
home an hour ahead of time, his coun-
tenance wearing very important
look, and the first thing he did was to
bolt upstairs to our bedroom and lower
the window, although had just closed
it after airing the room for two hours.
He then came Gathering down to ask
me for a pan.
"What on earth do you want of a
PAM" asked.
Ito save all our lives!' he an
swered.
s.How?"
"Your bedroom is full of poisonous
gases. which must he absorbed by an
open vessel of water"
NONSENSE
II expected it. That's the weapon
of the ignorant! Mrs. Bowser, If you
want to die by poisonous gases poison
ing the blood, have nothing to say,
but shall save the life of our child If
Il
tude for several days, and sanitary
plumber tells me that we have pois-
oned air in the room"
your lassitude couldn't have come
from being out to club and lodge four
successive nights until twelve o'clock,
scenld it?"
He seized the pan and hurried up
stairs, and when he had filed it at the
lavatory he sat it in the middle OF the
floor and came down with relieved
look on his face. to say:
See If you don't feel better to-mor-
row than you have for month. It's a
wonder we are not all dead"
Ibid tn ancients know about these
poisonous gases?" asked.
mot a thing. They never gave
them a thought"
.'And yet the average of health was
seventeen per cent. above that of to-
day. and the average of mortality that
much lower! How do you account for
it?''
20, well, if You want to die go ahead.
I'll even buy a rope and help you to
hang yourself. l expected this, Of
course. but ridicule never moves me,
Mrs. Bowser--never!"
Two hours later he went upstairs in
his slippers to look for paper in an
other coat, and of course he sat his
foot plump down in that pan of water.
There was yell and a jump, and over
went the pan. and when got up there
he stood holding up one leg. as you
have seen a hen do on a wet day.
What l said on that occasion kept Mr..
Bowser quiet for a whole week. Then
he began to grow restless again, and
one night he brought home suspic-
ious-looking package and sneaked it
upstairs. After supper he suddenly
disappeared, and when looked for
him upstairs he had something in a
basin and was about to hold it over a
gas-burner.
...Mr. Bowser, have you got new
theory" asked.
Look here, Mrs. Bowser," he re
piled, as he put down the basin, ''you
have heard of bacteria, presumed"
s.Yes, SIR"
"They are germs of disease floating
about. They are alive Ii inhaled
cholera, yellow fever and other dread
diseases are the result. Fumigatior
kills them"
.And you are going to fsrmigate this
room!'
Il am. I am going to kill off the
dreaded bacteria
well, you'll drive us out OF thu
house or kill u.s."
Invent downstairs and he burned I
compound of tar and sulphur. In tel
minutes we had to open doors ant
windows. and the cook came running
in to ask:
lis it cremation Mr.. Bowser is try
ing on us!"
II am simply driving out the bac
tcria," he replied, coming down stair
at that moment
"And there's bacteria in the housea'
I'm afraid So"
"And I've worked here four week
under the noses of the dreadful crea
turesP Mr.. Bowser. quits! / quit
now!''
And quit she did. We had to slee
on the sitting-room floor last night
and three weeks later every Gale
could still detect that odor. 1t wa
hardly gone, however. when Mr.. Bow
ser began to sniff around again.
ANY more bacterial asked.
MRS. Bowser, IL you want to sit her
and die l have no objections, but
don't propose to neglect common sens