Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-09-26

l1OuCo VA IuC SuOICCt.
He, the professor, recently went to Bar
toms Springs, a very nice bathing place few
miles from the city, for the commendable
and healthy purpose Of securing ose of nat
ure's restoratives in the form of a bath.
Upon arriving at the Springs the professor
discovered man in the water engaged in
the same laudable pursuit. He was fine
looking man, the one in the water, wearing
coIored beard. The professor asked,
blandly:
"Is the water cold!''
spring replied:
Eyes, the temperature is disagreeably
glacial, but the cold water is conducive to
longevity. You can doubtless recall the
language Of Prof. Mackinaw, used by him in
Relative Influence Upon the Human Body
Or Csque ad ndusedn, Transi de frotd.'"
"Ah, yes, certainly" replied the pro
fessor, delighted to have found cengenial
spirit; 81 do remember that work. 1t con-
tains much sound, logical reasoning"
st does indeed" replied the man in the
water, vigorously splashirg the cool spray
around his person. SIT certainly commends
ltSci1 W LILO SCicullSG dS d NOth VA kEcdt
originality, impartiality, and possessing sha
true ring Of genius, or, in the words Of The
great Latin poet, with which you are no
doubt familiar: 'Curi5us collie curdntur te
de1m ad sum pluribus catdleptic.'"
do you reside in Austinr' asked the
thoroughly-pleasedp professor.
mo, 1 am merely enjoying my midsum-
mer vacation, seeking that beneficial relax
alton which will allow me to return to my
duties refreshed and invigorated by short
season of abandonment to the seductive
wiles Of natures true restorer. You re-
member what Virgil says: DE profundh
1llopdth terra inco0nttd.'
The professor WIS again delighted, and,
after giving the man his card, requested
the honor Of his company at his house that
night for tea.
"You will be sure to come, will you!" in
quired the professor, turning his horses
head towards town, remembering that he
had an engagement.
"Most assuredly," answered the man.
''Nothing would please me better than an
hours chat with you upon some ennobling,
scientific topic, something which would at
once prove as elevatng and instructive and
be, to use the words of Juvenal, sLitcrd
scrfptd ioeotoco jimpIecute;:' but professor, I
hope will not be expected to appear in
evening dress, for my wardrobe"
Certainly not, my dear sir. Come just
as you are-that is, not just as you are now,
Of course, but in your ordinary everyday
travelling suit
The hour arrived for the reception Of the
distin guished guest. The professor was on
the Q,i rire and the front doorstep. An
apparition appeared at the gate. 1t was
man. It looked as if it had found scare
crow-an old back number, last years
scarecrow-and had robbedit Of its tattered
raimeut.
Ike professor disliked tramps, so, as the
ragged, long-haired tramp approached the
house, he shouted:
$50 away! Scat! I've got nothing for
you. am satisfied that you are a Johns
town sufferer, and all that sort of thing,
but haven't got cent for you I've got
no wood to saw. and nothing is lying around
for you to steal"
"Allow me to interrupt you for a mo-
ment," said the tramp Il feel hurt at the
way you receive me. You should remem.
Der what Horace says-'Suaviter in n,odo,
foriter in re, TenWs de Nedici.' Your lam
guage is very different from what it was
when we met at the spring this morning,
when you invited me to take tea with you"
The professor was Mortified. He now
recognized in the tramp the learned gentle
man he had met at the springs. He said:
my friend, the spirit Of hospitality
prompts me to ask you in, but would you
not rather compromise on = dollarr'
"a dollar goes" said the tramp, g he
turned with the money in his hand to seek
the nearest saloon, calculating: ''Sk sen-
per fssci beers, ror popnli, TOR romiea."
ALEX E. SWEET