Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-06-08
SENSE AND N0NsnlW

0ENOE AMI NUN61 Nh
One touch Of dead beat insure msaes
the whole world . skin.
A DEBT over game of cards Is, even
though entirely honest tfumpedsup
charge.
WIZ is it that man never gives the
minister 50 high Zee for marrying him
the second timer
1T was an awful sight" quoth Mrs.
Spriggins. at was Just Ike one Of
those horrorscopes you dream about"
TnI met by chance. She seemed distract,
While he was III at ease.
She had on onions dined that day,
He on hthbufger cheese.
The bill collector probably doesns
like his business any better than the
man who pays him, but it has to be
dun.
Law is like o sieve. You may see
through it, but you must be consider
ably reduced before you can get
through it
TIE difference There is difference)
between gas well and the spring fish
srman is that one is bore for gas and
the other is goer for bass.
Flows BUSINESS this morning, Mr..
Pellet?" "Very brisk, thank you, re-
Piled the druggist. I've sold ten z
cent stamps and three postal cards in
the last hour"
The champion sculler" and the
champion scholar" are often gradu-
ated from the same college, but the
former makes the most money.-Nor.
ristoac7a Herald.
THEY had been talking about orders
and decorations, and their conversation
drifted round to the land of the Teuton.
whats the principal German order"
Smith queried. "Zwei beer" was
Jones' prompt reply.
FIRST countryman: "Thst Teller in
store-clothes is putin on a heap O
style; wish I could take him down q
BIT" Second countryman: where's
the chap from?" New York" ASK
him about the Grant monument"
Mrs. JAGGs-Full again, I suppose?
declare, you are nothing but per-
ambulating saloon. Mr.. Jaggs-Bet
nobody calls you saloon. Want t
know Wy? I'll just tell you. S'loon
does shut up once week, n you never
(hic) do.
"THERE is absolutely nothing new in
bonnets this spring." exclaimed Mrs.
Potts on her return from shopping
tour. Il can tell you what would be some
thing new in women's bonnets," said Mr..
Potts, with the air of q man who has
an idea. well, what? Cheapness?"
asked his spouse. mo. Brains"
IT has hitherto been maintained that
the curl in pigs tail is more for orna-
ment than use. The position is no
longer tenable. A large SOW was seen
walking down Cincinnati street some
time ago with piece of red tape at
tached to said curl, from which was ap-
pended a card on which was written
"Patrick Doolan's Pig Betsy"
New BoARDER-"H strikes me these
biscuits are tough" Mrs. Bazoo the
landlady)-AYoung man, I made those
biscuits, and I've made them before
you were born" New boarder (un-
abashed) 81 don't doubt it, ma'am;
but why don't you keep them in the
curio cabinet? Aren't you afraid
somebody might break them?"
A.-"WHAT did your uncle do for
YOU in his will?" Bills will was
entirely in my favor. I'm in luck?"
left you all his money, did he?" Not
directly. He left all his property to
charitable institutions" II thought
you said you were in luck?" $50 I
am. All the other heirs are going to
break the will, and they have employed
me as their lawyer"
BACK AND FRONT VIEW. {
He followed her right down tho street,
With his eyes on her little back glued,
He noted her sweet ripping feet,
And her hat with fts bows many-hued.
A picture he mentally drew
OF her jacket Of fawn-oolored stun.
Her dress Of dainty spring hue,
HeY doves and hlf little fur mum.
BE wondered what Kind Of face
On that Agure Dame Nature bad planted,
Curiosity haStened his pace;
To see for himself the wretch wanted.
She turned, and he dsd for his life,
With laugh that WAS hollow and forced
For the pen WAS only hts wife,
From whom he had just been divorced.