The Delta independent., 1889-11-05
TALK OF THE DAY.

nights "relaxation."
A hero is a man who refrains from
eating things that do not agree with
him. :.
Next to Rider Haggard's hot pot, Il
jack pot is one Of the warmest things
known to man.
The highest grade OF impudence-
To wait in an umbrella shop for u
shower to pass over.
Carpet salesman-''Yes'm, that's
genuine Brussels, made at Brussels by
Mr. Brussels himself"
Signs of genius-"Q 'markable.
Mlindy, how dat chile do take to them
shears. He am nach'ral born editor,
suah."
The icemen are often made the sub
ject of jokes. But the iceman is no
joke now. He is sending in his bills.
On Their Wedding Journey. She
This is Minerva" He-"Was she
married?" She-"No, she was tho
Goddess Of Wisdom"
Meet me on the corner tonite, ho
wrote, "and dew not fale." And she
answered him, There is no such word
rs 'fale.'"
A Family Trait--Fond Mother-"See
the darling drink!n Visitor-"Yes,
indeed, the little cunning! How much
he resembles his papa"
| He had been there: Binks-"Miss
Sweet is a bouncing girl, isn't she?"
Jiuks-.'Yes; but her father is more
inclined that way"
on a crazy quilt all day for thirteen
years. The quilt is not quite crazy,
| but she is.
No dude: Chawley-"I say, chappie
=" Fweddie-"Chawles.p pleathe don't
call me chappie, old boy, people might
think l wathe dude, don't ye know"
Servant maid Madam, the doctor"
Lady (who is having a delightful call
from IL neighbor) is impossible to
receive him how. Say that l am ILL"
Policeman-"Do you have to take
care of the dog?" Nurse girl-"No.
The mis5us says I'm too young and in q.
| experienced. l only look after the
children
1t Suited Her-He-- Talking about
names, wish could get mine changed.
| think it is too ugly for anything
She (enthusiastically)-"O, l don't; /
think it is just lovely"
1t is not generally the girl with the
most beaux who gets married first. 1t
is th6"little, grave, demure girl who
sits in the corner with one young man
and hangs on to him.
Has your friend experienced the
advantages of travel?" Il should say
he had! He tells me he has seen base
ball played in every league and associa-
tion city in the country
Not Exactly As She Meant It.-Miss
Gusher (to Mr. Skrib!ar) so this is
Mr.. SkribIar? How delighted am to
meet you! | shall be so much more
interested in your writings after this. !"
| Miss Salina-"Yes, l admit Mr..
Plumpley is rather plain. but it's the
sort of face that grows upon YOU" The
major-"Indade, Well. I'm sure tits
not the sort av face Oi want to grow
upon mel"
No room for anything What's
the outlook in Rhode Island?n asked "a
Pittsburg man OF friend who had
| just returned from that state. "The
outloolS?n he replied. why, that 8
ali there is in Rhode Island"
Hunter-"Did you see wolf and a
hack of dogs pass this way3" Farmer
That's what; and gee wh;z, wa Mt
they going, thought Hunter That s
good; and how were they making it?"
Farmer-''When they passed here the
dogs were little ahead.
| Amenities OF the lower ten-Mrs
Envy (meeting Mrs. Gethar on the
street) -"Why, Mrs. Gethar, you look
so well; l didn't know you at first"
Mrs. Gethar-"Is it really you, Mrs
Envy? Don't you know, l mistook
you for your sister. How becoming
ter clothes are to you"
First Chappie-"Good heavens.
| Chawles! You are not sending II check
to your tailor, are you?' Second
chappie Nav; I'm sending him o
note to tell him that l may send him
a check next month. Must bwcak it to
him gently, doncher know"
/ Blobson-"Popinjay, did you ever
a,tend II colored religious meeting?"
Popinjay-"Yes-just once" BlobSon
Lots of enthusiasm and wild energy,
wasn't therep" Popiniay-"You bet!
Somebody threw a watermelon through
the Window.
Lies Recompenses Sister
.'Ma wants you, Sammy. Where've
you beenp" Sammy-"Fishin'." Lit
tie Sister-'Did you catch anything?"
Sammy (sadly)-"Nothin' u all"
Little Sister (reassuringly) --"Oh, but
you will when you get home"
Mrs. Simpkins (sentimentally)-
"Oh, how lovely it is in the country at
this season OF the year. Do you not
prefer September and October to all
other months for summer tours Mr..
Simpliins Enthusiastically Yes. in-
deed, we get board at half rates now"
An old Bachelor, through no fault OF
his, was looking at little baby, and
was expected to admire it, OF course.
| .sIGn11 Nh RIinl,;,y I,a