Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-13
SAVING HARD SINNERS.
BY JOHN STEPHEN.

the road, / imagine, for some time. I have
had enough of hotel and restaurant life, and
am determined to try the portal of home,
if not home itself, a boarding house. Do
you know of any good place."
''No, Jim; I've not been boarding fol
years The best way is to put an adver-
tisement in one Of the Sunday papers, and
you will have plenty of replies, for Chi
cago is divided into two classes. those who
board and those who keep house."
Il should like to get nice, quiet place,
where could have some home comforts, q
little music, chat in the parlor, and that
sort of thing you know.
~Oh, yes. know all about it, Mr.. James
Barclay. You have got romantic notions
of boarding houses and expect to find in
them all the comforts of home, but you will
learn that there is no place like home, and
house is like trying to gather figs from
thistles and grapes from thorns."
Come now, was the CHEEKY rejoinder,
don't try to discourage me. think
can get through an advertisement just the
place 1 want"
NO doubt you may. 1t seems to me
there is nothing under the sun that may
not be obtained through the medium of an
advertisement.
yes, 1 believe you. And I don't think
there is anything TOO ridiculous on earth
in the way of an advertisement that will
not elicit reply"
Then, suppose you illustrate the truth
of your own theory by advertising for
board in some quaint, out of the way man
ner, that will ward off the average race of
professional boarding house keepers, and
bring to your relief one of these matronly
souls, full of the milk of human kindness,
who only keep boarders for the sake of
company, and are entirely above mercen-
airy motives?"
Since you have been talking I have
framed an advertisement, which you, no
doubt, may consider ridiculous, but I bet
you supper at Kinsley's shall get an
answer to it. Here it is"
MIR. James Baclay, taking pencil and
note book from his pocket, wrote the fol-
lowing:
Board Wanted-A young gentleman,
with the best of references, desires board
in refined family of good social position,
where his edifying conduct will be consid-
cred as sufficient compensation for his
board. Address j. B. %, this Office"
Great C@sar!" exclaimed the other. in
genuine astonishment, you don't imagine
for a moment that even in this big city of
Chicago, which contains every shade and
variety Of characters. from the sweetest
saints to the sourest cranks, that you will
find anyone so philanthropically foolish as
to answer that advertisement"
yes, Mr.. Thomas Temple, sage and
sober philosopher and man of the world
that you are, will get genuine answers to
this advertisement. Will you accept the
bet?"
Il should say so! And being something
.of an epicure, will concoct the most e1-
pensiye menu I can think of, and will do
the supper given me by the Don Quixote
of advertisers the most ample justice"
Don't be too sure that the entertain
-ment will be at my expense"
Both gentlemen, after lighting their CT
gars, strolled to the office of one of the
great dailies, where the singular adver-
tisement was duly paid for and ordered to
be inserted.
After this operation the friends parted,
the last remark of Mr.. Barclay being:
Nov, my doubling st. Thomas, you will
see that get an answer, and shall enjoy
your supper and prove the truth of my
theory"
In a number with four figures on Michi-
gan avenue sat mother and daughter in
COSY anteroom that had every appear
ance, if not of oppressive opulence, yet
of elegance and refinement.
Il think, my dear" said the mother,
"that Harry needs more cheerful asso-
ciates than we are; although. poor boy, he
bears we'll up under his affection. But,
ever since that dreadful accident which
confined him to the house. his spirits,
once so buoyant, seem to be depressed.
I should like to engage some agreeable
person to come and read to him every day
for an hour or so. It would relieve you,
my dear, and give Harry an opportunity
more of the outside affairs of life, of
which, in our exclusive retirement, we
have been so long ignorant.
Yes, ma, think Harry would be
much improved by coming in contact
daily with an intelligent person from the
active circles of life. One who could talk
to him of his old business associates and
haunts. could never interest myself on
those subjects, and / actually forget the
price of wheat two minutes after being
told the latest market rate Of that exceed
ingly fiuctuating staple. always thought
staples were more steady characters.
Il hope Harry will not interest him.
self too much in that speculative COM
modify, replied the mother as snade
crossed over her face. He can make all
the money it takes to crafty an ordinary
ambition out of his late father business.
But suppose, my dear, you write an adver-
tisement that will secure the person We
want.
Suppose, mamma, replied the daugh-.
ter, Il look over the newspaper and get an
idea from it, about the way to word it.
Here are all kinds of wants; board wanted.
and SO forth. But just listen! Did You
ever hear such an advertisement as this?
"sBoald wanted-A young gentleman,
with the best of references, desires board
in refined, social family of good social
position, where his edifying conduct will
be considered as sufficient compensation
for his board
Did You ever hear Of such assurance?
Does this person really expect to find peo-
pie to board him for the benefit of his
edifying conduct"
ct is rather q singular advertisement,
replied the mother. Il have heard many
q subterfuge of taking boarders for COM
panions. but not without compensation.
Perhaps this edifying persons conduct
might be Of some good to Harry; but the