The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1889-10-25
oUNGENT PAnAGRA. :.

-"None but the brave deserve the
fair, and none but the brave can
live with some of them.
The Office that is seeking the man
can't find him, owing to the scrambling
crowd of otfice-seekers. = st. Paul
Pioneer Press.
a hear your son is a fghterp"
mo; he's a pugilist." 90, I'm so
glad! Fighting is so ungentlemanly. :"
-Harper's Bazaar.
1T is a great deal easier to write
vivid love letter of sixteen pages than
it is to hear it read two years after
wards in court. -Sommerville Journal
They have flannel bathing-suits at
the seaside resorts that do not shrink.
They are ashamed to, probably
Binghamton Republican.
fare you fond of fiction?" asked
Alpha. 30, yes" responded Omega:
1.-The first thing | read when | oct the
daily paper is the weather prediction. :"
-Norristown Herald.
-Blobbins-'.So you are still bache-
lor, Maulstick?" Maulstick- T
shall never marry. am welded to
my art" BlObbins-"Quite so. Mar
riage is failure. that s fact" --Grip
MIR. HObbs-''I see that Newport
(Pa.) farmer has hairless calf on ex-
hibition. What remarkable freak
that is" Mrs. Hobbs ''Remarkablep
Why, you're bald-headed yourself,
John. Minneapolis Tribune.
Funny man-'A penny for your
thoughts. Fair maiden-''They are
not worth it, Funny What
are you thinking OF p'' Fair maiden
Your last column of jokes" Boston
Courier.
-Visitor-"So your sister is off on
visit, WillieP l suppose you feel
very lonesome without her?" Five
year-old Willie, (dubiously) --"Ye-es,
l feel lonesome, butt m a good deal
more comfortable. Chicago journal.
Doctor - ''What your husband
needs madam, is a change of scene. -
Mrs. De Temper-'Do you think he
should 60 off for his health?" well,
it doesn't matter which goes-you or
i he" -Philadelpaia Record.
Miss Pyrte-''What makes you
such confirmed woman-hater, Mr..
Olebach?" Mr.. Olebach-''Well, when
was young man woman made a
fool of me- Miss Pyrte-"And you
never got over it. Pierre Haute Ex-
press.
The average literary person is a
tedious nuisance. He invariably has a
grievance, and he is constantly seeking
to air it. He is a self-confessed failure.
and he insists upon advertising the
fact. Chicago News.
-Hardcheek-' had queer exper-
fence downstairs, Hardhead. A me-
ment after | alighted from the cab my
old cabman fell over dead" Hardhead
-"Ah! Paid your bill without wrang-
ling, | suppose. Philadelphia En-
quirer.
my DEAR remarked Mrs. Caudle
severely, to her better half. "we have
lived together now for more than forty
years, and notice that your manners
grow worse instead of better. What S
the reason?" Mr.. Caudle, meekly-
81 cant say. unless it is because ex-
ample is contagious"
Mr.. Dumpsey-'D shirk your
| Greek, Johnny. A Kansas clergyman
has discovered that it will be the lam
gurge spoken in Heaven" Johnny
Dumpsey (sighing)-''Then I'm afraid
pa, you and | haven't any use for it. -
Burlington Free Press.
-Addiepate-"Aw! You have in
suited me, sir Aw! my fwiend will
call upon you Your card, sir, please
Aw" Bohemian-"Give you my card?
should say not You would stick it
into your looking glass to delude your
! landlady into thinking you were ac-
quainted with gentleman. Epoch.