The Bossier banner., 1889-01-10
HUMOROUS.

medium? Husband-What a ridiculous !
question! Wife-Not at all, not at all;
;or you seem to have spirit call after
each act.-BostoR Budget
When Shakespeare wrote MY
kingdom for horse!" ne showed that,
with all his great knowledge, he was
aot ignorant of the ruling charges of
he Long Branch hackmen.-Ppscb
-Spoodle was saying that when he
was abroad he was presented at Court.
"The deuce you were!" exclaimed
lFogg. ''How did it hapRenP How
much did they fine you?" 1t is
Spoodl6's opinion that Fogg is very
ignorant fellow, you know.-Bosto''
Transcript.
Chicago girls are taking to crazy
quilt making for the winter. This is
being done so that they will have in
door employment and thus keep them
from going out and leaving huge foot
prints in the snow. Chicago girls are
not as crazy as they appear.-kenta'cIcy
State Journal.
"A Hartford sportsman went out to
try his skill at breaking glass balls
with rifle. He reported grand sue
cess on returning to the city, saying
he broke nine of a possible ten, but
didn't mention that he did it by drop
ping the basket while getting over
fence. Hartford Couraat
Jimmy does the brains and get
up the paper" said a country editor, in
explaining to subscriber how he
worked things. ''It is a pity Jimmy
has been sick abed so long" said the
subscriber, as he counted out the last
cabbage on that years subscription
! Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph.
Young Highcollar Beastly wealth
aw, this, Miss Symphony, bah Jove!
Miss symphony (tired) y ou ought not
I to decry the weather, no matter how
bad it may be, Mr.. Highcollar. If it
were not for the weather you would be
| at loss for something to talk about
Now take me to mamma.-N 7. Times
The papers have much to say now
about 1.-The Balkan attitude" All mule
drivers know what that attitude Is.
! The animal puts his fore feet out rig
idly in advance, and his hind feet in
the rear and points to the north staI
with both ears Then he won move
until you build a fire under him.
Pittsburgh Chronicle.
If the sun rises in the East and sets
in the West. and the bullfrog sings
sans in the marshes, and thare ain
no pulling hair in the family circle,
things are about az near right az yu
can get them. Should there be nc
dew on the grass in the morning befori
sunrise, it IL an infallible prognostiy
there didn't emmy fall.-Josh Billings.
-"George, -" said the young wife, q
know what Santa Claus is going tC
bring me Christmas. }" Do you, love
what is it?" :. An elegant sealskir
sacque, George" " ''You don't say
so! Well, I'm glad to hear it
for it viii save me great dea
of money" And then she went out
into the kitchen and stepped on tbs
cat and gave the cook a weeks notice
Boston Post.
A butcher entered lawyers Office
and said: ''Sir, when a dog does an!
damage is not his owner responsibleg'
Certainly" THAT being the case, a
your dog has just carried off magnifi
cent leg of mutton from my shop, yol
owe me three dollars ''Nothin,
could be more just" replied the law
yer, sand, fortunately, that is exactl
the price of the consultation | have jus
| given you. So we are just even. ~
! y. Ledger.
"A patent medicine advertisement
speaks of the ''liver failing to act. ,
! We suspect the manager cut down it:
salary. When the liver refuses to ac
the drama of Life can't go on very
successfully. -Norrtst0ton Herald.
The ofice-boy's effusion: 81 helt
her tiny hand in mine and clasped he
fairy form, and told my tale of arden
love in language sweet and warm. Anc
when I paused for lack of breath, sh'
raised her dimpled chin and whispered
! low; i don't catch on; please sing you
song again. y Chicago Tribune
Forced to wed.
To speak the words her tongue did falter,
But all her tears and prayers were idle;
Her father forced her to the halter
For he'd determined on the bride.
She did not wish To stirrup strife,
And so her feelings she did smother;
But saddle ba her married life
She welded one, but loved another.
Boston Courier.
First Dude = saw, Chawley, N,
dear boy, what wattlin' pace you ar
goin' this mornin' Second Dude
Jaw, yes, Fitznoodle, my dear fellow
Don't detwain me. I'm hard at work
This is the busiest season of the year t
: me. Z" ''By Jove, Chawley, what ar
you doin'?'' I'm dodgin my credit
ors. Philadelphia Call.
Calling Contributor: Is there an
one here who appreciates poetryP Ec
itor: Yes, certainly; have you some
Poet: Yes; four. all on the seasons
Editor: Good; that's just what W
want. Here, John, sprinkle littl
sauce on these and take them down
stairs. Poet: What for? Editor: Fo
the goat He is the only one about th
establishment who loves poetry. Br
he won't eat season poetry without miT
sauce. N Y San.
Faith is confidence in the exis
ence of something we can not see, m
: little dears, the superintendent e,
planned to the Juvenile Sunday-scho,
lies. taEor ;v,-4anoo xx-bav, xro,, bY7