West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1889-02-07
M OF THE DAY.


Harmless "White Caps"-Nurses.
Regular cold timers"-Dutch clocks.
A bad scrape-An amateurs violin
solo.
schnapp judgment-Decidinga bet of
the drinks.
Down in a coal mlne-A young miners
first moustache.
When the flakes begin to dance, look
out for a SNOWFALL.
Rolling stock-Cattle on board a
steamship in a storm.
The rain of terror-For a lady with
no umbrella and a new bonnet.
A burglar who was recently Frustrated
with lockjaw cured himself by picking
the lock. Q
A little girls view OF it.: ''Minerya
was the Goddess of Wisdom; she never
married."
The clarion notes of the rooster II
written, would, no doubt be divided
by crow bars. -Merehant 1raUeier.
A parrot will talk on the least provo
cation, but a crow seldom opens its
mouth without caws.- Rep York World.
You'll write IL as sure as fate,
but don't find fault or pine,
But scratch with care the IS,
And make it 80.
Merchant Traveller.
We sometimes say ''out of sight out of
mind, : but we dc not necessarily imply
that a blind man is insane. -Atso York
Mscs.
A.-"The crop Of young doctors in
New York is going to be very large this
year" B.-"les, but what will the
harvest beY'-SJtings.
Nature uses a great many quilts with
which TO make a goose, but a man can
make a goose of himself with only one.
Orchard and Garden.
"John, you are not listening to a word
/ am sayingl' "Why, my dear, i am all
ears" IL know you are, and that makes
1t all the more provoking
A deaf mute' church has been dedi-
Gated in Philadelphia. A fellGN could
snore all through the service and disturb
nobody. -DansoiAe Breeze.
A young man who becomes en-
barrassed when he calls on a certain
young lady, says she gives him the shake
every time he goes to sec her.
The stores are now crowded no longer.
Inc saIesgIris get rest and grow stronger,
While prices OF gifts have so dwindled
That some of us feel we've been swindled.
-Bostoa Budget.
A Chicago clergyman who married
three couples on the cars the other day
rescnts the suggestion that he allow
himself TO be patented as a car coupler.
- Chicago Post.
"Wh hat Is your fortune, my ancient mafIp
Ny wealth is my fortune, sir" she said.
Can 1 marry you, my pretty maidfn
III you are as wealthy, sir, y she said.
NeD York Sun.
Miss Parentalstem (age thirty-fye)-
$50 you arc going to get married at last,
Paulinel' Pauline-''les, dear. should
think it vas about time; you know I'm
twenty-four. "-Life.
Wife-"shall 1 put your diamond
studs in your shirt, dearf'' Husband
''What on earth are you thinking of Z
DO you want to ruin met Ihave a meet
ing with my creditors this morning -
-JeWeJerS HeekLL
Ethel TO her betrothed)-oDo learn
TO skate, George. I'm sure you would
look lovely on ice." George "a Young
and rising undertakerj-'I. ook lovely
on ice, would IL Thank you. No hurry
about it."-Siftiags.
Youthful Innocence: zone Of Won
boys has been stealing raisins again: /
nave found the seeds on the floor.
Which one Of you was it," Tommy
ut wasn't me. swallowed the seed in
mine Scranton Truth.
- Us marriage a failurer' he asked Of a maid
Who chung pretty close 20 his side:
I'm sure 1 can't tell, sr," the young lady
I" Until you have made me your bride.n
-Net0 York World.
Jeweler-"The inscription you wish
TO have engraved on the inside Of this
ring, if ] understand you, is Marcellus
10 Irene" Young Man with some en-
barrassment-"Yes that's right. But
-cr- don't cut the Irene deer. Chi
eag0 Tribune.
The Professor having given out as
subject for an essay THE Use OF Navi-
CATION, n one Of the students concluded
his production with the somewhat novel
statement: 'tAnd thus we NAV saw
Tbs ship Is the camel Of the sea.'"-
Fiegnde Blaetter.