The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1889-10-25


When men get on tights they
can barely keep their legs.
A man is not necessarily mean be-
cause he will jump on a feather bed
when it is down.
Like many young man, nature
begins her fall by painting things
red.
New York is having as much troub-
lie in finding a fair site as Pennsyl-
vania had in losing a dam site.
The boy who was bent on eating a
green watermelon was in the same
condition after he had eaten it.
Soup A LA JAY GoULD-Takea little
stock, six times as much water, and
then put in the lamb.-Life.
We wish to state omerairy that a
busted dam has nothing to do with
a broken oath.-Terre Haute Ex-
press.
How hard it would be for a great
man who is dead to come to life again
and live up to his memorials and
obituary addresses.
The woman who carries her hand
kerchiefin her corsage should remem-
Der the fate of the man in the fable
who warmed a wiper in his bosom.
The man who feels around in the
dark for a door, and gets an arm
on each side of it, occupied the time
of a recording angel for fully five
minutes.
"Have you felt slippers?" inquired
an old lady in a shoe store. The
clerk, who was new at the business
and young. answered, Eyes, ma'am.
many time"
"There," said the new lady OF the
castle. ''are the graves of the former
owners ancestors. My ancestors"
, she added, proudly, "are all living"
-Harper's Magazine.
Brown-See here, teamster, I don't
want you to bring gravel and clay
and powders to fill up this lawn with.
Teamster-What tn dickens does yer
want, then? Brown-Oh, nothing
but the earth.
She-"I do like to read Howells.
He-"I would really like to know
why" "You don't have to go to
any trouble to look for your place.
You can begin in the middle or at
either end and it is all the same"
Mother-"You have drawn. that
donkey very nicely, johnny, but you
have forgotten one thing. Where is
the tail?' Johnny-"Oh, that
donkey dosn't need any tail. There
are no flies on him.
Mamma" said Tommy, as he
watched his little brother squirming
in the bath-tub, "Willie is like a piece
of flannel" "What makes you think
so?" asked his mother. ooh, be-
cause he shrinks when he's Washed"
Teacher-"lf you had three oranges
and ate two, how many would be
left?" Scholar neutrality-suspicious."
Teacher-"Yes, one would be left"
Scholar (doggedly)-"No, it wouldn't
'Id eat that tool"
That new fashioned contribu tion-
box which registers the value of the
coin dropped into it and announces
it's value by a peculiar ring of a gong
being the invention of one poss-
essed by devil or two, will never
be popular in our churches.
"They tell me you are going away"
Eyes; Pm going to publish news
paper in Kentucky" "Have you
purchased your type and press and
so on?" mo, but I've just bought
an elegant Winchester rifle. "-Wash-
ington Capital.
Old lady ION the limited)-"Does
the train stop for refreshments at
Canesawagy?" Porter-"Yes, ma am.
Shall telegraph an order ahead for
your" Old lady-"Oh, no. I've got
a lunch here in my bag, and l jest
wanted to know when I'd have q
chance to eat it."
81 will bet you q new hat" said q
gentleman, that you will come down
out of that chair before ask you
twice" ''Done!' replied his friend.
"Come down." cried the other. Il
will not" said his friend, with much
obstinacy, '"Then stop till ask you
a second time" said the other Por.