The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1889-06-28

s'~-s>~. - eiAss hAtVnAL nona."
THE LoAFER.
The loafer IL human being Who 4.
willing tew be deplzed lust for the n,;s
vilige Of abusing others.
tie occupys All grades In society: ron,
the judge ON the bench klcan downe -
the ragged thing in britchcs who lears
ag1nst lamp post and 1tes hys IL
August.
lie haz hiz circle Of friends, WHARF bi,
jcsts are rechoed and WHARF TO be il hi
confidence IL considered IN honor.
he IL not alwuz destitute ov kommor
sense, and quite often Il the author ~
lests witch pass upon the unwary for
hunor end even wit.
lie haz no pride that IL WORTHY. ana
haz no delikasy that any body can hnrs
During hiz boy hood he kills kats ana
sell their hides To the hatters, and rohs
all The hen's and 'arly apple.trees In ths
eaborhood. 80
During hiz middle life he bega All ~.
tobacco he uses, and drinks all The chcsn
whiskey he kan 1T sumboddy else's ex.
pense.
During hiz old age he winters in tha
slmshouse and summers In the sp~s-
hogsheads. and when be comes ,cw d;s
he IL buried IN ditch, like an ominihns
hoss. with biz old shoes on.
This IL . trew ackOunt ov tho life and
adventures ov the ordinary lcafer. and
yet there arc Thousands 0v human xiii.
ters coming onto tho platform ov liza
every 8 months W hose only ambivhun +
to be successful loafers.
The loafer cares nothing for public Oh.
inyun, and this alone will make any man
q lOafer.
The loafer rather covets disgrace ov
all kinds, and when . man get az low
down az this. he hsz got az low down az
he kan git without digging.
THE PRoJEcKToR.
The projecktor IL man with one idee.
and idee IL oftun like paving stone. the
hardest kind ov = thing tew hatch out.
and when IL IL hatched out, you kant al.
wus tell what kind ov breed .he thing
IL.
lie haz been bizzy al work for the last
4 thousand years trying tew build per-
petual moshun, and haz cum wcihin
quarters ov an inch ov il several times,
but alwns slips up just az he reaches out
to grab Il.
lie haz dnn sum dredful good things
for mankind, but TOO often IL ov no moro
use In the world then an extra pump IL.
The prospecktor IL AIwus man ov
genius, but hiz genius IL frequently like
the genius Ov goose, thare amt no one
kan beat them At standing on one legg.
hsv known theze breed OF pholks
tew drag out long life, richer in their
own esljmashuu then Cr<esus aud pOOrer
in the openyune ov others then Lazarus.
They seidom reap any gain from
their invenshuns, and IL ever they do
diskover perpetual moshun. they will
sell the principle tew sum Running knss
for IL or 10 dollars. and starvc TO death
on the glory ov ia.
] have known several ov theze poor
phellows in my life and only knew them
tew pity them, for they are az tender
and weak NJ spring lam, and az easy tew
chect az blind baby.
hav friend who IL q projecktor.
kant tell what particular pholiy he IL -
work At now, but sum one. am sure,
for thare arnt on the whole 'arth, more
bizzy kritter then the man, who IL sure
that tomorrow will put The finishing
Iuches tew biz patient rite plan Tor
threading the roDg end ov kamnr'ck
needle. or his resipee for making soa.t
soap ont ov calls liver.
But we kant spare the protectors;
all that we kan hope for IL. that tew
meDDy ~ them won't spend whole
life in making . tuse harp that will play
Ysnkee-do0dIe backwards, and fina.ly
die, and leave the tune hail finished.