The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-12-19
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Its Editor Announces Thas Business Il
Still Going On at the Old stand.


Still Going On at the Old Stand.
| DON'T BLAME HIM.-Ilast Tuesdav
night the city treasurer of this town
jumped out with all the public moneys
he could lay hands on. The aggregate
sum was only sos, but no one should
blame him for skipping out with that
small sum. 1t was all he could get,
and he had become. so disguised at hav-
ing to associate with the members OF
the commoncouncil that he would have
probably gone with $25.
Fun AREAD.--Ald OGrady didn't
take our remarks of last week in the
right spirit We called him a thief.
liar and drunkard and instead of ad-
mitting the charges like a gentleman
he INDUCES in threats of personal vio-
lence. Come on, Mr.. O'Gradyi Wen
try and make it lively for you. And.
by the way, while on this subject, we
feel to observe that of all the corrupt,
dishonest, knavish, drunken public
bodies ever convened in room to-
gether our town council caps the cIi-
max. Next week we shall begin a war
of determination on these vipers, and
if the fur don't fly it won be our fault.
A NoVELTY.-We learn that Mr..
James Shields. of Omaha, has pur-
chased a lot on Apache avenue and
intends to build and open a hardware
store. This will be a novelty. Not
that we haven't hardware store in
town, but the idea of a man opening
store here instead of a saloon will
strike our people queer1y. The saloon
interest needn't be alarmed, however.
We know of at least six new ones which
will open this fall to help control the
political campaign.
IT CAN'T BE Done Now. For a wear
or more after we struck this town we
could be kicked and cuffed with per-
feet impunity, even by a low-down
Indian. We were knocked down,
booted up and down the street, and
had our nose pulled out Of shape two
or three times per week, and we never
thought of resisting. We were a tender
foot of the tenderfootedest sort, and it
was question whether we should pull
through or not. Let some one attempt
to tweak our nose to-day! The offer of
hundred dollars in cash wouldn't
tempt man in town to try it on. We
are no longer tenderfoot. The man
who sets out to .'lift' us now has got
to beat chain lightning. Every chap
who has piled into us for the last ten
months has had to be carried off on
shutter, and two of them, as the town
records show, sleep peacefully among
the daisies.
IT MELTED Us.-It is well known all
over town we have held mortgage for
the last three months on the entire out
ftof our contemporary. 1t covers every
thing but his own worthless carcass,
and can be foreclosed any minute. This
being the case, we are often asked why
we don't take possession when that
blotch on Journalism refers to us in
such endearing terms as "Jackass, .
liar, "hypoerite'' and SO forth. We
did go over one day last week caleulat-
ing to turn him out OH the sand hills, !
but he fell to weeping and melted us.
While 1t seems hard for man to be
abused by his own property, we haven't
the heart to kick away the barrel. |
And, besides, he runs such an abiect
apology for a weekly newspaper, that
The Kicker receives hosts of eompli- /
ments by comparison. We are not 90
ing to be mean with him-not unless
hequits abusing us and tries to publish
good paper.
A New DEPARTMENT. AS will be
noticed by all our subscribers we add
new department. to the Kicker this
week-that of forecasting the weather.
We have arranged a signal office on
the roof or our own building, and shall
take observations hourly. We have
also purchased a map of the United
States, and have arranged a pro-
gramme by which we expect nine-
tenths of our predictions to be verified.
This has been long-felt want in this
locality, and the enterprise of the
Kicker will no doubt be duly appre-
ciated.
We shall start out at a slow pace and
do no rushing until the harness fits
well. Our first prediction: Clearer,
warmer, cloudy, cool; may rain and may
not;n is sort of a feeler, and we do
not advise any of our readers to give
up a fishing excursion or a Sunday
school picnic on account Of it. We
hope in Jirne to get used to the hang Of
the thing, and after we have we viii
guarantee to beat the government out
of sight or wear one shirt all winter
Detroit Free Fress.
Mutual Interrogatories.