Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-15
TALK OF THE DAY.

STOCK, Six tifneS Us mum ""S'' -
then put in the lamb.
Stranded. First Thread What's
the matterP" Second Thread m
broke"
Busy-First Flea How is bust
ness?" Second Flea-'Tm on the
jump all the time"
Too cheap-Customer How much
IS that ring?' New jewelry clerk
Its marked 1Sc. Eighteen cents
please"
Tho average car horse is tender
hearted animal. He is always ready
10 stop and listen to tale OF whoa
Stranger-.What. in connection
with bicycle riding. strikes you most
forciblyp" Bicycle rider-'The road.
First thief How is your baby get
ting along" Second thief-"First rate!
He has got so he reaches out Tor
things already"
Dime museum managers should In
augurate search for a woman who
can play cards an entire evening with
out asking What's trumpsP"
One would imagine that counter
letters were very exact about their
work, considering the danger OF de-
dection, and yet they are satisfied IL 1t
10 passable.
Wickwire "Have you noticed that
we have had some beautiful sunrises
during the last week?" Mudge-''No.
I've been going to bed early here
lately"
The destruction OF the Temple OF
Heaven by fire at Pelsin was an I'M
looked-for event Ii was probably not
insured, as fire in that direction was
not dreaded.
Cantwaite '.Sav. do you remember
that S. bill l loaned you?" Owen Long
Remember it, sir | never forget
favor like that. You haven't got
another one about you, have you?"
Blotter did you read that article
from my pen on the Causes OF Pow
erty?'" Sharpe Yes; fine article.
Who held itpn HELD whatph why,
your pen, of course?"
Satisfactory explanation-"H How does
1t happen that you have your hand in
my pocket?n "Oh, pray excuse me.
sir, am very absent minded. / used
TO have coat exactly like yours"
Mrs. Hinton (recently married)-
"Did you know my husband was very
! lllp' Miss Carrington-"I suppose he
must be. my dear. Before he married
you he told me l had broken his
! heart"
A Young Barbarian: Fond mother
Tommy, darling, this is your birth
day. What would you like best?"
! Tommy CATER moment S rehection) -
Il think | should enjoy seeing the baby
spanked"
A crash the foreman stood aghast,
With type about his shoes,
Surveyed the fallen form and said
well, there! I've broke the news"
"The empress of Austria sits alter
mattel, - | either side of her horse,
says "a. article on "Horsemanship for
Women" Everybody will be glad to
hear that she sits that way alternately
and not simultaneously.
Subordinate-"H Here's an article on
Pharaoh and Joseph. Shall / put it
In the local column or among the
Miscellaneous Notes?" Proprietor of
Bugle "Somethin' about faro, Ell!
Put it among the sports. or course"
Measuring. = Guest (angrily)-
"Confound your awkward ness! You've
rpilt half that soup down my back. :"
Waiter at restaurant (heastily)-
Don't mind it sir. I'll bring some
more. Bless you, there's plenty of
soupr'
fering wife-.'How do you expect a
woman to provide vittals and drink
when you don't bring home no cash
Saturday night?" why.
Mrier, the grocer and the butcher
amt moved, has theyp"
Mrs. Sadface to Tommy, who h al
stolen jar of preserves MY boy.
know you are sorry. | see it in your
face" Tommy (meditativeiy) Yes.
mamma, l am. There was bigger
jar on the shelf that couldn't reach. :"
He Was in Minute: He (waiting
for an answer) Marry me, darling.
and you shall never want for anything,
although | have a reputation for being
rather close She (coyly)-" Indeed?
l never should have suspected il.
Mrs. ickwire-"If woman were
given the credit she deserves l don't
think man would be quite so promi-
nent in the worlds history" Mr..
Wickwire II guess you are right. IL
she could got all the credit she wanted
he'd be in the poorhouse.
Forming an opinion: This" said
Mabel TO George, lis our new bull
dog" and she patted the animals head
carassingly, Papa bought him this
morning. How do you like himP" II
dunno" said George thoughtfuliy.
Lets see his teeth
Not to be fooled Mr.. Lumpley (whose
wife has put in her annual application
for sealskin) Il am told that the
Sc lski1 sacques will not be stylish
this winter" Mrs. Lumpley (sagaci-
ously) Dwell, dear never did care
much for style any way"
Downy-"So, you're studying Ger
man. eh' Fine language when YOU
get into it," Fleecy Yes, but I'm
not very far on. | have lcqrned only
few phrases that a fellow finds
ecessary in the course OF the day. >
Downy-"Ah, | see. Such as zwci
beer. ETC."
wooiug the Goddess Fortune,
[ Roston Mass Herald Oct