New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-02-10
GOSSIP AT THE CAPITAL.
uow CONGRESSMAN FORD STOOD ON BIS
HEAD AND DREAMED A FRlGHIfuh
DREAM.
re THE PRESIDENT INDUCING in SLANG i
- SENATOR JONES MoRALIzED-MR WHITNEY
As uosT-THE KENNA PUNcH-A
,ro,,re1cK PiCKwIoK"

,e uosT-THB KENNA PUNcH-A
.1oyEs1oK PIoKwIoK"
u,..A,,u.oD Feb e.-Congressman Ford, Chair
"a re- srecial House committee on the SUD
ieot OF pauper immigration, mao - % ia ~,
while ON HIS recent investigating UP 'H"s no
r,.ntion in the voluminous ana ADio lePoae 49,
ma submitted TO the House "eeh vi wv "sO
while the committee was hoidihe " -
,,a,,-,t investigating the importation OF isOoiors
80. ,ou,ract from Windsor Canada, which is Just
Sa.oH. tbn river the members put up at large ana
so-oo,vhat crowded hotel. Mr. Ford as CHAIRMAN oi
che committee, received large nunper VI 'ls''Ol9
daily and as he did not care 10 h"'o ' ~
into HIS bedroom, he engaged p"iiOi oN O''
taIned one Of those famous space sNs a..
patent folding adjustable bed now SO nuon
,yI,b thrifty landlords In the daytime tne oeu was
w. -, -, or leo than a wardrobe standing up
-. ao,,rst the wall and forming handsome
addition TO the somewhat scanty furniture VI INC
room, at night when the distinguished Vispors hau
ALI taken their departure and the SohsioSshish uo
eIred "a retire 10 rest he simply touched spring
IN the wardrobe and IL slowly came apar' anu i',0
itself into a bed upon the hoor' VIZ" "sn D0'"
aca,nst the wall reaching nearly to the eeilng'
Tbo grst NIGHT that Mr. Ford spent In Detroit
A.. he'd ,,orlced all right that is, II remained upon
The noor while he slumbered, and until the mala IN
the p,ornine touched the spring. Wheh IL asain DC
came a wardrobe On the second e'en'ne ho"o'0i,
the Congressman met with an accldeh', WHICH oa"seo
him a great deal Of annoyance-and ali because tne
bed took = notion IN tho middle Oh inc hishl 10
become a wardrobe. The young statesman, ior the
first tine in his life, probably, stood upon MS heSu'
and this is how II happened He had been out
loollne AZ the metropolis OF Michigan by gaslght'
and Il was rather late when he sought his ward
robe bed He had been sleeping but short ume,
when becoming rather restless in bis dreams ABOUT the
millions of foreign paupers crowdlng 70 our shoIes
with Communism, Anarchy and SOCIALISM III thcir
hearts and nothing In their pockets OF her somachS
he accidentally threw his hand against the spring
when slowly and gently, but all too surely. the
he'd Drooeeded 10 become q wardrobe During the
PROGRESS Of evolution the Congressman slept on.
He dreamed that a dozen long haired, red-handed
"Arnakists," as hls ficnd Frank LAWYER Calls
them, had seized him and were about 70 throw him
into a deep pit. lie struggled vigorously, but In
vain Tho enemies Of FREQ government over
powered him, and down, down, down no went, until
with an awful roan he struck bottom. IIe
awoko and found himself standing his head,
compressed like a ham sandwich between the bed
part OF the wardrobe and the wardrobe part OF the
bed For a moment he trcmblngly thought he
was IN the Jaws Of shark lie
soon realized the true stuatIon however and felt that
something must be done. Tho blood was rushing
from his feet TO BIS head and he was becoming every
moment thinner sandwich. Ho struggled 20 separate
the spring which HIS feet had set In notion but Il
too far away 10 be moved again. The Congress
called for assistance, but, Of oouFe, could mako
no one hear The was dark and be could see no
means OF escape Finally, becoming desperate, he
managed to squeeze one through the opening Of
the Jaws, and as q, fell outward II struck against
tasseL With a gasp the faint nattcning statesman
realized that he had acedeniy found bell rope lie
pulled at Il fancaly dozen times before there was
a.. a.
door demand in Heavens what tho trouble was
Tho human sandwich barely had breath enough left
10 tell him 20 open the door The man did so thinking
that at least the room was fire. When ho saw the
spectacle OF tho dgnied Chairman OF tho immigration
Committee standing his head with his drapcres
fallen about his shoulders be nearly forgot to release
him. IIe did 50 finally, however, and as the furniture
that had nearly become coffin revolvcd itset again int
bed, the victim wisely came down right side up and
giving his deiverT bright silver dollar begged him -
respect the honor Of Congressman, and quietly rgis-
tered vow that he would again sleep I'm fold
ing bed.