Morning journal and courier., 1889-06-26
STRANGE.

Strange.-Husband-" dreamt I died and
 went to heaven. Strange" Wife-"Yes;
 strange indeed. ."-The Epoch.
 First Omaha belle-"So you and Charles
 went fshings What did you obtain2" Second
 Omaha belle-"Se7eral fishing smacks."-
 Omaha World.
 Crime Must be Stopped.-"T There are
 great many suicides now" remarked MT.
 Fangle. "Yes," replied his wife, san ex-
 ample ought to be made of some of them. ."-
 Time.
 Ernheimer-'I yoosd left dot seat!" Me-
 Sweeny-.'Is thot sop Ernheimer-
 "Y-a-a-s." McSweeny-"Ye wor 8 dom
 fool. It's as aisy as amy wan in tn car-r-r" Puck.
 Tramp-"Thank ye, ma'am, for givin' me
 the grub; but kin never eat without fork"
 Farmers wife-"Well, amble along, and
 you'll find fork in the road little further
 on. "-New York Tribune.
 In Germany-'H you please, most gra- cious sir, there is no use in examining me
 for soldier, because I am rope maker and
 am accustomed never to walk forwards but
 always backwards. ."-Fliegende Blaster. Henry-"Yes, Carrie; love you with all my heart" Carrie-''It seems strange, Hen ry, that you should think so much of me-" Henry-'sI don't know about that. There's no accounting for tastes, you know. ."-Bos- ton Transcript.
 Mrs. Tonay (after passing newly painted house)-"Good graciousl And I have been brushing close up to it all the way. Do please look, Nrs. Sharpe, and see If I've got any paint on me-" Mrs. Sharpe-'I don't think there's any on your clothing, Mrs. To- nay."-Boston Transcript.
 The Only Good Thiug.-Contributo (to editor)-"Now,s ,sir, I assert that there are many fine points about my story. Look here read this Burning over the pages). Don't you like the endingF' Editor-stAssuredly. It I is much better than the beginning. In fact, the ending is the only good thing about your story. Traveller. Different Views of an Ideal.-She-"You must not think me fickle for refusing you, but the man marry must come up to my ideal. He must have the virtues of knight errant." He-"That's all right, my dear. I'll introduce you to my brother, who is ! studying for the ministry. Just the fellow K you want. He is the fool of the family Life.
 ! The system of word stufing, by which the | memory is overtaxed before the reasoning \ powers are awakened, is worse than worth- | less. "How is Europe bounded" said 8 | teacher who believed in early eramming, to one of his little pupils s'I thou, he, she, it, J ! was the reply. "For shame, Johnny; try it | again" 'Oh, please, sir, remember now; ! that is the answer to one of my grammar | questions, ano tuouSnt1 Was to pe ue6ru ! in my grammar frst."-New York Ledger. Just after the bsccalaureate examination in Dublin was driving down on jaunting car ! with some friends to the races at Curragh of Kildare. As we would say in Ireland, "It came on to rain very hard;" as would be said l in America, "There was heavy rainstorm, ' and on reaching the first roadside inn I told | the driver to halt, and as we, his passengers, \ jumped from the car I said, we having had | tha conoarative shaltsr of umbrellas tCome ! in quick, Denny; you must be wet" "Faith, your honor," was his ready answer, eff was as wet inside as I am outside would be as \ dry as a bone"-Harpers Magazine for July.