Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-04-30
LLFES SUNNY SMILES.

q
THE lighter the individual the easier
to float in the social swim.
WHAT difference It makes whether
you put 4Dr." before or after name.
IT isn't the lady that wears the most
diamonds that appears the most bril-
liant.
LADIES apparently have not much
confidence in their own sex, for they
generally send their letters by mail.
ADO YoU know what gives woman
the most satisfaction? Bier beauty,
of course. A-Not her own, but the
absence of any in some other woman.
Z DON'T care very much for the
frieze, but I'd like dago. What have
you in the way Of dagos? And the
wallpaper man went in the back room
and had fit.
FIRST schooiboy-I wonder why do
firefies have fire in their stomachs.
Second schoolboy Why, You precious
idiot, they eat their food raw, and that's
where they cook it.
HELPFUL little sister-Sis, why can't
Mr.. Olcutt spell his own name? Sister
4 don't know, Marie. Why? Help
full little sister Why, because he comes
to Gu, and there he sticks.
Mrs. UppERTEN- Jane, I am
sorry you have decided to leave me,
but # You are going to better yourself,
of course Jane It isn't that,
ma'am, I'm going to get married.
THE trouble with them is" he said,
3that they won't look at things like an
Englishman of Frenchman. Who
ever heard of an Englishman wanting
to be anything but an Englishman.
NEVER a woman with a secret intrust,
She surely will tell, or else she would bust
But one secret she'll keep; this truth you may
guage-
The mysterious secret of her own exact agei
Yankee Blade.
TICKET agent (railroad station)-I
wish some way could be invented to
keep men away from the ladies' window.
Bystander- Easy enough. Put the
sign For Ladies Only" on the other
window.
We must have class of men between
the laity and the ministry" said Mr..
Moody recently. 3Sure, and we have
them already" was the comment of a
witty Irishman. They are the women,
God bless them"
CINCINNATI Mother-Laura, I'm sure
I heard the sound Of kiss last night
when you and Mr.. Jinks were in the
parlor. Daughter Indeed. mamma,
you must have passed the door just as
we were opening adother bottle.
ONE reason why the waltz has
usurped the place of the square dance
is that the mental effort requisite to
keep the run Of figures is too much
for the dudes. They can waltz, how
ever, without thinking of anything in
particular.
JoHNsoN-I saw Mat this morning.
Jackson-Ah, ha! Johnson-Yes, and
had great mind to speak to him. He
owes me $50. Jackson-I hear he has
been sick. How was he looking?
Johnson-Well, he was looking the
other way when I met him.
SAID great admirer of the preacher
1,;o ob,,roJ, boJ 1,acosccoJ, arm, - 1900,
fine sermon, and we'll timed, too.
aYes," replied the clergyman, sit was
certainly well timed. About half the
congregation had their watches out
most Of the time was talking"
Books published 300 years ago sell
from $25 to $500 volume" Many
modern authors, whose unstable edi-
tons are reposing ON booksellers
shelves, must regret that they didn't
have their works printed in the fifteenth
century. But We don't suppose they
thought of that.
WHEN the receiver Of stolen goods
was brought before the court, he as
sured the judges that the reception was
entirely informal. His honor accepted
the explanation with true courtesy and
informed the receiver that his sentence
of five years in the State Prison was q
mere matter of routine.
HE was taking her home after the
theater and little supper at Delmon-
ico's. Darling said he, suddenly, as
he gazed dreamily at the silvery disk
overhead, awhy am I like the moon ?"
1t isn't because you're full, is is?" she
asked, as she edged away from him.
No." he said, sadly; ait's because I'm
on my last quarter.
NO THOROUGHLY occupied man"
says Landon, was ever yet miserable"
If Landon had ever removed tight
boot in church he would have felt about
as miserable as you make 'em while he
was thoroughly occupied about ten min
utes before benediction wondering how
he was ever going to get that boot on
again without Sitting it from the pre-
face to finis. -NoTristoacaa Herald.
CARPET dealer Yes, madam; that is
3 fine stair carpet, and very durable.
Woman Win it last well? Carpet
dealer Madam, fourteen years ago
sold piece af that CARPET to a woman