davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
A Philosopher With q Wooden l
From The Chicago Journal.

"Until l grew a wooden leg
SELF" said n northumberland
along State street, II never kl
how many ofmy fellow mortals
joyed similar experience. NJ
more than half the fun have in !,
l get from looking out for other f,
lows gamo legs and arms, eye teeth.
/ know two fellows who have false
noses, and about IL couple of dozer
that have cllaney-alley eyes. But
that's nothin'. Sure I hear that
over in Paris the surgeons can take
n baby's face and change every feat.
urein it until it's own mother would
not know her offspring. l do he al.
ways pouring over old books and
lookin' out for curiosities of men and
women who manage to live though
they're all cut to pieces. There's a
man living in Munich, Ibclieve, that
plays on the violin with his toes and
leads an orchestra in the theatre.
Al there's bully artist, hear, in
Antwerp, was born without arms or
legs. but the quarest ould Mohawk
of them all is kavanagh, who used
to I've member of parliament for
county Carlow, Ireland. He was
born without arms or legs, but that
doesen't prevent him from doing any
thing he wants to do. He writes
hooks, makes fine speeches, drives {,
four-in-hand, goes fy-fishin' for
salmon. and can carve duck as
nntely as you PLACE. Oh, pshaw!
'Tisn't nothin' to have awo oden leg
/ don't care SOS l haven't q wooden
head"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
ShreWd Advertisers,

Readers Of the newspapers of the
day cannot fail to be impressed with
the fact that the modern advertiser
is progressive.
He is compelled to be, else compc-
titors more active in the invention
ofnew advertising devices, will out
strip him in public favor.
The value OF printers ink judic-
iously and scientifically employed
cannot he overestimated; it is the
medium whereby Il meritoriously
discovery is raised from local fame
to a position in the public esteem.
Hence the columns of the ncwspa-
pers are daily used by hosts ofadver-
tisers and in the competition which
is INDUCED in to attain the desired
end the reader is oftentimes amused.
The greatest OF American advertis-
ers, and it may rs well he said in the
world, is H. Ii. Warner of Rochester,
N. Y, whose name has been every
where familiar in connection with
Warmers Safe Cure, widely adver-
tised because OF it's merit in the pre-
vention and cure of kidney diseases.
BY printers ink this great dis
covery has achieved worldwide pop
ularity and thousands feel grateful
for the knowledge thus acquired OF
this greatest of modern remedies.
Further more, the public has been
taught that disorders OF the lungs,
brain, heart and liver which have
hitherto been regarded and treated
by the profession as dinstinctive dis
eases are not SO in fact, but are the
attending symptoms of disease of
the kidneys, therefore, the consump-
tive, the apoplcctic, the paralytic,
and the sufferer from nervous dis
orders can he restored to health by
Warmers Safe Cure, which will re.
move the true cause of those dis
orders by restoring the kidneys to
heulthy action.
The advertising methods employed
by this greatest of advertisers are
invariably instructive and, although
the reader may sometimes he
Caught" in reading an advertise
ment, which was not Mt first suppos-
ed to be such, there is nevertheless
no time lost since useful information
is invariably gained concerning LIES
great problem.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05

Some one asks for cure for indi.
gestion. There is no cure. Medicine
is useless in most cases. The follow
ing rules, however, will be found
good. They are given by DR.. Kcl-
logg, of the Battle Creek mich. }
Sanitarium: Eat slowly, masticat-
ing the food thoroughly-even more
SO, if possible than is required in
health. The more time the food
spends in the mouth the less time it
will spend in the stomach. Avoid
drinks ut meals; Mt most take q few
sips of warm drink Mt the close OF
the meal, lift is very dry in charac-
acter. In general, dyspeptic' stom-
achs manage dry food better than
that which contain much fluid. Eat
neither very hot nor very cold food.
The best temperature is about that
of the body. Avoid exposure to
cold after eating. BE careful to
avoid excess in eating. Eat no more
than thesystem requires. Sometimes
less than is really needed must be tnk-
en- when the digestion is very weak.
Strength depends, not on what is
eaten, but on what is digcsted. Never
take violent exercise, either mental
or physical, just before or just after
amcal. 1t is not good to sleep i'm
mediately after eating, nor within
four hours of a meal. Never eat
more than three times a day, and
make the last meal very light. For
many two meals are better than
three. Never eat n morscl of any
kind between meals. Never eat when
very tired, whether exhausted from
mental or physical labor. Nevereat
when the mind is worried or the tenn
per ruffietl, ifpossible to avoid doing
so. Eat only food that is easy OF
digestion; avoid complicated and
indigestible dishes, and take but one
to three kinds of food Mt n meal.
Most persons will be benefited by the
use of oat meal, wheat meal, graham
flour, cracked wheat, and other whole
grain preparations. Many will find
it necessary to avoid vegetables,
especially when fruits are taken. The
foregoing rules together with the
avoidance ofevery thing that dis.
agrees with me, abstinence from tea.
coffee, sugar and all very starchy
foods. taking cream in place of but.
ter and eating two meals a day, have
nearly cured me when all other
means failed.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
Where the Papers are Published.
Reading andreaecting on the won

Reading and rejecting ON the Won
derful development OF certain special
features of periodical literature, the
subject in its entirety as related to
this country is O wonder. Statistics
on this topic are never dry. And
here are some reliable ones. George
p. Rnwell & Co. have now for more
than twenty years made reports on
the actual issue of American news
papers and magazines. The figures
of this firm are honest, thorough
and to be relied upon. The periodi-
cal publications now issued in the
United States and Canada are found
to be divided as follows: Daily,
1912; tri-weekly, so; semi-weekly,
1914; weekly, 1892; bi-wcekly, 60;
semi-monthly. 800; monthly, / 1892;
bi-monthly, %; quarterly, 100; max
ing total of 1910.
When credited to the states in
which they are published the geo.
graphical distribution of these peri
odicals is shown to be: New York,
1,6}G; Pennsylvania, 1, 100; Illinois,
1,157; Ohio, $40; Kansas, sO7;
Iowa, 7S7; Dominion of Canada, 755;
Missouri, GA; the territories, Gel;
Michigan, G32; Massachusetts, GA;
Indiana, 612; Nebraska, sci; Wis
consin, 4S4; Texas, 46S, California,
463; Minnesota, 81; New Jersey,
297: Georgia, 242; Tennessee, 227;
Kentucky, 222; Virginia, 217; Colo,
RADIO. 215; North Carolina, 1914; Ar
kansas, ISL; Maryland, $50; Con-
necticut, 173; Alabama. 167; Maine,
1856; Louisiana, 142; Mississippi, 1870;
West Virginia, 1873; Florida, 121;
New Hampshire. 1O7; Oregon, 1O5;
South Carolina, 1O1; Vermont, 60;
District of Columbia, "a; Rhode T.
land, 80; Delaware, 81; Nevada:
Current Literature.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
A Mechanical Wonder.

The Metropolitan.
One of the unique spectacles Mt
present attracting the attention of
mechanics as well as ordinary OBJ
servers in this city, is Il five story
building the machinery of which on
every floor. is run apparently with
out motive power. One sees no
shafting, no connection between the
evolving wheels of lathes, punches
and other forms of mechanism that
are in operation, and nothing of the
labyrinth of pullies and belts to
which the eye has become accustom-
ed in all factories. Electricity has
taken the place of steam, wires of
belts and a curious little motor sup
plies the power. Tho building refer
red to be used for the manufacture
Of all kinds of electric motors. In
the cellaris a boiler and IL small ell
CINE which run Il dynamo ofseventy-
five horse power. From the latter,
wires are distributed to the floors
above, where are smaller motors that
may be run or not according to the
needs of the establishment. These
wires are connected with each motor
by n key which enables the workman
to turn the current on or off at will.
-Four of these tiny mecllanisms fur
nish work for eighty men. Electric
ity is found to be cheaper than
steam because there is a saving in
the use of coal, engine, betting, pull
lies, etc., and hence power. Another
advantage is that electric wires may
I've stretched for several miles, and
the moter Mt that distance from the
dynamo will be run as we'll as ii it
were in the next room. 1t is said
that the power of n dynamo goes
about three times as far as that of
an engine of equal horse power, and
it is believed that this is the only es-
tablishment in the world worked in
this manner, that is by wires instead
of shafts and betting. Verify the
revolutions of art and science are he
coming more miraculous every day.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
Alexanler's Sarcophagus.

A<SSuul
Good progress has been made with
the annex to the Imperial Museum
which is to contain by Hamdi Bey
at Sidon, last year and if the build
ers continue at the present pace it
may he hoped that the work will be
complete in about three weeks time.
The new building is a substantial
structure ofconsiderable dimensions,
built in brick and faced with stone.
the floor and roof being sustained
by heavy iron girders. The opening
of this nausoleum is anticipated
with great interest, as the public will
then have an opportunity of seeing
the sarcophagus which is believed to
contain the remains OF Alexander the
Great. Hamdi Bey has, We under
stand, written IL monograph on this
tomb which is almost ready for pub.
lication, and which states the grounds
upon which he bases his conclusion
that the remains are those of Alex
ander. NJ. Rcnan does not subscribe
to this conclusion. but this fact does
not detract from the interest of the
tombs. than which archaeological re-
search has given to the world moth
ing more remarkable since the dis.
coveries at Hessarlik and Mycenn.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
Sagacity Of Shepherd Dogs.

Portland Oregonian.
A gentleman who has had consiil-
cradle to do with shepherds and
drovers in England and Scotland,
speaking Of the story published in
the Oregonian day or two since
about dog separating thieves and
wethers of II flock by noticing the
ear marks, says there ia no doubt
but what it is true. lie has known
dogs to go into n drove of sheep
which were marked with several Diff
ferent marks, and single out every
one bearing his masters mark. He
says the shepherds train their dogs
by taking them along when puppies
under their care as they mark the
sheep. and the dog is thus taught to
distinguish marks. He says further
that Mt the sheep market in Isling-
ton drivers have their sheep marked
with red or blue paint, and when the
drives get mixed dog will go into
the band and bring out all his mas
ter's sheep, telling them by the color
OF the marking. Shepherd dogs are
the most intelligent species of the
canine family and when they are
brought up among herds of sheep
and trained to take charge of them,
it is but reasonable to suppose that
they might learn to notice marks of
any kind on them.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
Nay Pluck Opulent AmerIcans.

In view of the present financial
gloom which overshadows the PEG.
pie of France and especially ofParis,
it is suggested for the comfort Of
such speculative Frenchman as have
been squeezed in the Panama Canal
collapse. or tho copper syndicate
failure, that n great many Americans
IRE going to the Paris Exposition
during the coming summer, and their
presence with plenty Of money to
spend will enable unlucky French.
men to recoup themselves.
"The American tourist" the Dos.
ton Herald remarks in this connec-
ton "is the best bird that the for
eigners ever had a chance to pluck,
and they rarely let their opportuni.
tics pass unimproved."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
ws.asrs Il the seA.

MsrAers u the SeA.
A ihils down the water has d pres:
sure of a ton to the square inch.
It has been proven that at the
depth of $500 feet waves ore not
felt.
The temperatures the same, vary.
ing only q tride, from the ice of the
pole to the burning sun Of the
equator:
At some places the force of the sea
dashing upon the rock on the shore
is said to be seventeen tons to the
square yard.
The water is colder at the bottom
than ut the surface. In the many
bays on the coast of Norway the
water often freezes ut the bottom
before it does above.
Ifa box six feet deep were filled
with sea water, and the water
anOWeu 10 eVQpOrAte IN the sun,
there would be two inches of salt left
in the bottom. Taking the average
depth of the ocean to he three miles,
there would he u layer of salt 23O
feet thick on the Atlantic.
Waves are very deceptive; to look
Mt them in storm one would think
the whole water Travelled. The water
stays in the same place, but the
motion goes on. Sometimes in
storms these waves are forty feet
high and travel Mt the rate Of fifty
miles an hour-more than twice as
fast us the swiftest steamer. The
distance from valley to valley il
generally fifteen times the height;
hence, n wave five feet high will ex-
tend over seventy-five feet of water.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
That Ache in the Back.
An Albany physician saws a co,

An Albany physician says n cor
temporary, declares that Americans
suffer more generally from Bright's
disease and nervous diseases than
any other people, and he says the
reason is that Americans sit down
so persistently at their work. He
says: Americans are the greatest
sitters ! ever knew. While English
men. Germans, and Frenchmen walk
and exercise, an American business
man will go to his office, take his
seat in his chair and sit there all day
without giving any relief to the ten
sion of the muscles of the back the
result is that these muscles sur
rounding the Kidneys become soft
and tlabby. They lose their vitality.
The kidneys themselves soon become
weak and debilitated. If Americans
would exercise more, if they would
stand ut their desk rather than sit,
we would hear less OF Bright g disease.
! knew Of u New York man who had
suffered for some years from nervous
prostitution until it was recommend
ed to him that he have q desk at
which he could stand to do his work.
Within n year he was one of the
llealthiest men you ever saw. His
dyspepsia and kidney trouble had
disappeared, and he had an appetite
like q paver."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
She Talked Too Much,
From n French Paper.

From French Paper.
l have heard an eye witness tell the
story OF u lady wlloentered themon-
astery of Chartrcuse dressed in mems
clothes, Mt the side of her lord and
master. The fraud had been very
successfully accomplished, and the
fair intruder visited calmly the Curl
osities Of the cloisters, which were
shown and explained by Il lay broth
er. But habit becomes second ma
ture, and nature is terrible habit.
All Mt once the lady in the dress coat
called out, pardon me, brother. but
where has my husband gomez" The
poor monk was at first quite stupi-
fed at hearing a sweet voice come
from behind the stiff, white collar,
and looked terror-stricken upon the
hypocritical overcoat and the falla-
cious trousers. Then some servants
came up carrying an old arm chair,
into which they put the intruder, and
carried her out of the monastery
gate.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
HOUSEHOLD.
nI.ts f,e The Hss,s.

Prot Porter says plants In the
house ore not injurious, except in
sleeping rooms.
Knives and forks should be care.
fully washed, polished and dried i'm
mediately after using,
For chapped hands make camphor
ice of one and one-half ounces OF
spermaceti tallow, four teaspoon
fulls of oil sweet almonds and three
fourths of IN ounce of gum-camphor
pulverizei fine. Put on back ofstove
until dissolved, stirring constantly,
using just enough heat to melt the
ingredients together.
Many disense germs enter through
an open mouth. The mouth was
not made for breathing, but for eat
ing and speaking. The nose was
made for breathing, ind mir, passing
through the long, moist, nasal pas
sagc, is purified, and leaves behind
dust, disease germs and various i'm
puritics, while the air is warmed and
tempered for the lungs. But when
the mouth is left open, dust, dirt
and disease rush down into the
lungs, and fastening there, developc
and destroy the whole system.
Good paste for pies is ensily made
by mixing a bowl for chopping tray,
n quart of pastry flower, a table
spoonful Of sugar and n teasponful
of suit. Chop into it two cups of
butter, or one each of lard and but
ter, until it is thoroughly mixed,
then add n scant cupful of ice water,
and continue chopping. When we'll
mixed sprinkle the board with flour,
turn the paste on It and roll. Place
in n pan on the ice, or in q cold
place for IN honr before using. 1t
will be lighter, easier handled. and
require less flour in the rolling out
ifmade very cold.
The baby's fever and the rash and
the bowel trouble (startlng in the
brain) will be found in the majority
of cases due to the suffocation or ir.
irtation of the skin by the popular
knit wool skirts; however, soft these
may feel to the hand, every fibre OF
wool is set with tiny hooks, which
continually catch and let go of the
exguisitely sensitive skin of the
sides and back rs the baby breathes.
1t reminds me of E,lmonds About's
tale of the man who died under the
hands Ct Italian brigands. merely by
having hairs pulled from his head
one by one, his hands being bound.
That is just the helpless condition Of
n baby.-Ladies' Home Journal.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05

OWV06 0V1eOt..
'sThsfs h no place Like koms,' runs
the old song, and w know how true
It is.
Go where We will-encounter men
in whatever circumstances We may
We shall be opt to find that q refer
ence to their homes will Immediately
secure their attention, and will give
you favor in their eyes.
The impressions made in the home
are lasting. A mothers words never
pass from the mind. A fathers
counsel remains fresh so long as life
lasts. The last benediction Of pm:
rental love and solicitude-with what
tenacity it clings to- the memory
when almost all else has gone.
How important, therefore, that
the home he maintained intact as
long as possible-a haven of loving
counsel, OF peace and Joy to the
growing children. How sad when
death invudes, when tho fire goes
out on the heartstone and the family
is scattered. What the children lose
by the death of q parent only those
realize who have grown up without
that love and advice which parent
alone can bestow.
No doubt, tens of thousands
of parents have found pre-
mature graves, who might
have lived years of usefulness, had
they but known what was sapping
their strength, and slowly but sure:
ly pushing them into the grave.
There are tens of thousands of
parents today in agony of mind
through fear Of death from kidney
disease, who do not know they ore
doctoring only symptbms-suclt
as wakefulness, nervousness. d
splendid feeling one day and
IN all gone one another,
dropsy, weak heart action, pneu-
monia, neuralgia, tickle appetite,
etc., while the real trouble is poisoned
blood caused by diseased kidneys.
Unless purified with Warmers Safe
Cure they will just as surely die, as
though poisoned with arsenic.
If you are suffering as described,
and have been for any length Of time,
you are, unless you get relief right
speedily, stricken with death, wlleth-
er you know it or not.
Doctors publicly admit that they
cannot cure advanced kidney dis
case; they IRE too bigoted to use
Warmers Safe Cure because it is an
advertised remedy; consequently, UNI
less you use your own good judy
ment, secure and use Warmers Safe
Cure, a specific, which has proved
itself in tens of thousands ofcases to
be all it is represented, your home,
through your death, will be broken
upand your loved ones deprived of
that which money cannot purchase
or friends supply.
Already too many loving parents,
noble, kind and true, have gone
down to premature graves through
ignorance of their condition, and tho
bigotry Of physicians. 1t is time to
cry n halt, and we beg of you, for
the love you bear you home and
the duty you owe pourself, to give
this matter your careful and con-
scientious consideration.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
''Iady.''


There is something ludicrous and
frresistibly comic, says The House
hold, in the way and mannerin which
the word Gladly" has come to be used.
"Woman' has almost disappeared,
and to call any one of the female sex
a woman" is to insult her.
Lady" is from an old Saxon word,
which meant Il "loaf giver," or one
who went about giving bread to the
hungry. AS only the rich women
were able to do this. the term ''lady"
was gradually applied to one rich
enough to give aims. Still later it
was applied to all females who were
rich enough to live without labor.
1t was n mark of distinction. But
when it was broalened in it's use and
applied to every female it lost all of
its Significance. An advertisement
long ago appeared in u New York
paber asking for n position as "sales-
woman" 1t was refreshing to read
it, for the want columns nre full of
such words as "torelady," "sales-
lady," "washla,ly," etc.
In the old days, a girls wasnot
ashamed to be called q "saleswom-
IN. n "needlewoman, and so on. No
one talks of q "salesgentleman" or
II "foregentleman." No; "man" is
used for the male sex. Is not "wom-
an" as honorable IL distinction as
"man?" Let us get rid of these
snobbish and silly words, and let
any woman he proud of the cogno-
men. There is something old-f,lsll-
Toned ion. but grand in the simple word,
1t is n very common mistake
which men make when registering at
hotels, to write "John Jones and
Lady," No gentleman should ever
make such q ridiculous blum der.
"John Jones and Wife" is the prop.
or designation.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
f1fIn MAr eLlffrs.

TITLES faAf aLlffEn.
Miss Maud would marry . title,
So she went far over the sea;
While there she married baron,
And baron indeed wash
For barren he was Of money
And Of lands most barren was he.
His title, too, IL was baron-
But spelt with double 70
Oh! marry for love, young maidens,
And not for q long pedigree.
The foreign noble has nothing.
Which he holds in communion with thee.
Then think of Maud and her title
Far better q spinister to be,
Than marry and often be signing
For this dear old home cross the sea.
Savannah Newt
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05
A New Flag Called For.

There are now too many stars on
the national flag to be artistic, and
now that four more ore to be added
the blue corner will be uncomfortably
crowded. More stars are coming
too. Congress may have to consid-
er a change in the flag. Perhaps it
would be u good idea to return to
the original thirteen. stars. Or, why
not put the great American bird in
the blue field and the stars all around
the edge of either that or the flag it.
self.-San Francisco Report.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-05

Most men, otherwise strong in body and
mind, will become unhappy ind break down
when afflicted with rheumatism. IL they
would only try Salvation Oil they would find
relief ut Once. Price 25c.
All the keys of Windsor Castle were recent.
~ stolen, but even this does not interfere
with the rapid sale of DIR. Bulls Cough Syrup.