davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
Worthy to he a Yankee.

AS is we'll known in the village of
Dalmally, says the London Truth, Mis-
tress McHaudem is very keen hand at
a bargain, and few have ever been able
to boast that they have "got the best O.
her" in deal. The other day she en-
tered the shop of Sandy O'Neil, where
everything and anything, from a pair of
spectacles down TO an ounce of tea, can
be procured:
"Wad you sell me sugar-basin with
DOT the coverp'
"On, ay," said Sandy, who would sell
the shoes off his feet at q profit.
"Hoo muckle is this vim ?' inquired
the customer.
That's shullin', complete" said
Sandy.
can whit for the basin without the
lid ?"
"Elevenpence."
"D'ye only tax off penny for the
lid ?"
"Weel, the lids no. worth mair nor a
penny"
"Eh, that's guild news" calculated the
lady, with sigh of relief. 'It's just
the lid o. mine I've broken" And SO
saying she laid down penny and
walked of with the coveted lid be-
fore the astonished storekeeper had
time to interfere.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
The Upper Berth Best.
From the Chicago Tribune.

A Pullman sleeper conductor: Every
body who wants a berth in a sleeper
wants the lower berth. I have been in
the employ Of the company tor fourteen
years. and have never yet had an ap-
plication for an upper berth. OF course,
the upper berth is not SO easy of access
as the lower, but if you don't mind
climbing to the upper berth you will at
once admit, after the night is over, that
it is the more comfortable Of the two.
The ventilation is better and you are
not so close to the rumbling noise. You
are more private than you are in low
er berth, and in case of an accident you
have chance of coming out on top. In
hot weather the upper berth is cooler
than the lower.
The lower berth, as you know, is
made up from the cushioned seats,
which are of warm material. / have
never known of man to fall out of an
upper berth. [ think if the company
would make a difference of half dollar
in favor of the upper berth it would
soon be in demand. But believe the
Pullman Company never makes any diff
ference in the charges.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
Does History Repeat Itself?
From the National Review.

From the National Review.
Napoleon Bonaparte used to speak of
the French people as the modern
Romans confronted by new Carthage
in perhdious Albion. But nothing is
more untrue than the famous SAYING
invented by one noodle and kept up by
thousands of successive noodles-about
history repeating ITSELF" Think hon
estly for minute, and you will see that
the exact contrary Is nearer the truth.
Until causes are the same, it is impossi-
bic that effects should not differ. Most
impossible of ali is it to find two nations
who, not only in respective but in rea-
tive qualities, should resemble two
nations of twenty centuries gone
by. If, however, we must have
an analogy from the past for the
characters of the two nations de-
vided by the British Channel, and
for their relations to each other, it
would be better to compare the English
represent the Greeks of old. Like the
latter. the French are quick, artistic,
and apt to preach to and mistrust one
another. The English, on the other
hand, a. slow, practical, bound to the
chariot yyheels of experience, each at
tentive t, his own affairs, yet united in
time of t ouble The last thing that such
q people 7ould do would be to take the
ingenious speculations of poets and
essayists nd writer's Of fiction too
seriously: luch less would they be hur-
ried away INTO hastily making use of
such things as prescriptions meant for
actual practice. But this is exactly
what our volatile neighbors over the
water did exactly 100 years ago. With
out politi al training, and broken up
inf MT of 70
province, they felt that things were GO
ing wrong, and because their purveyors
OF light literature confirmed that feel-
ing, they assumed that whatever these
personages suggested was an infallible
remedy
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
He Sued Himself

Some years ago when Judge G. III.
Hicks was not az prosperous as he had
been in late years, says the Minneapolis
Tribune, he owned little bill of SO to
q well-known firm and one of the mem
bers came to see him about it. The
Judge, then plain colonel, lately re-
turned from the war. frankly confessed
that he was ''busted" and asked for an
extension of time.
Cant do it," said the gentleman
"if you don't pay it we'll have to sue
you.
"How can pay when I haven't got
the money!" asked the Colonel. All
want is little"
"Weli. we'll have to bring suit" said
the gentleman as he started off.
Hold on" said the Colonel, as a
bright idea struck him. eff You must
sue me why not give me the case? You
will have to employ some lawyer.
That's so,'' said the gentleman; "all
right, bring the suit"
Col. Hicks brought the suit, confessed
JUDGMENT, sent in his bill tor $50 attor.
ney's fees, collected 1t, then settled the
judgment. From that time on he had
all the firms law business.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
The Carp.
From the Cornhill Magazine.


The carp is fne-looking fellow with
his golden olive-brown back and sides.
The edges of his scales are golden yell
low and his belly is yellowish white
the fms are dark brown. Still water
suits his Eliminating disposition; the
place to look for him is pool or pond
with great clumps of flag round about it,
and masses of water weeds, with chan
nels running between them which lead
out to the open spots of deep water. I
say to look for him; to catch him is a
very different matter, for he is crafty
as fox in regard to bait.
On warm summer evening you
may see the carp moving about in all
directions, their great black fms showing
above the water. Some of them weigh
tour, and some as much as seven
pounds. One popularity about hook
ing carp is that you are almost sure to
do it when you are fishing for some
other fish which differs entirely in it's
ways and habits. He is strong crea-
ture and requires judicious treatment to
bring him to grass. And when one has
got him there what to do with him is a
question, at least to myself, with whom
he is not the favorite he was with the
monks OF old who were supposed to be
good judges in the matter of eating. At
ter admiring him as fine bit of fish
study / have generally restored him to
his native element very little the worse
for what he has undergone, for he is a
regular die-hard Of fish.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
Succession co Victoria's Throne.
From the London Truth.

I hear tina: the Duke has worried the
Queen considerably about the question
or the succession to the throne in the
event of Prince Albert Victorand Prince
George dying without issue, and the
Duke of SaxeCoburg. Gotha and the
Empress Frederick are understood to be
strongly OF opinion that, in order to
prevent any possibility of disputes and
troubles in the future. there ought to be
formal understanding on the subject.
1t is undoubtedly desirable that such
questions should be properly and pub
liclv settled in good time, and, human
life being uncertain, the antic. pated sit
uation might arrive any day. Lord Sails
bury has been much TO blame for letting
the matter slide in order to avoid threat
ened disputes, as a formal announcement
ought certainly to have been made to
Parliament before the marriage took
place.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
just Like other Men.
From the Boston Transcript.

From the Boston Transcript.
The Episcopal Convention in New
York, like all deliberative Assem- blies of
human beings; has shown itself posses
sed of considerable human nature.
For example, on Wednesday, Mr.. Judd.
a lay deputy from Chicago. an aged
man, on beginning speech on the
judicial system Of the Church, spoke in
low tone, and there were several cries
of Louder "I'll make noise enough
before | get through he replied; and
he kept his word, according to the Even
ing Post report. He had already at
tracted attention by saying that the con-
vention might adopt the Nicene Creed
five thousand times, but that would not
make him believe it. Mr. Judd was
followed by Mr.. Joseph Packard, Jr. !,
lay deputy from Maryland, who amused
the convention by an illustration of the
difficulties likely to arise by endless
hair-splitting in the Interpretation of
words and phrases. Citing the words
"Did David dance before the ark was
build? Did he dance in front Of the
ark, in respect to place? or did David
dance first and the ark dance after
wards ?"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
One Hundred Miles an Hour.
From the Suactator.


Sir Edward Watkin has, on behalf of
the Metropolitan Railway Company, of
tered the manager of the Water Rail-
way piece OF ground near London on
which to lay down a line two miles in
length. We shall, therefore. soon have
an opportunity to try what, if the &C.
counts are true, must be the very poetry
of motion. The carriages run on skates
or slides, but between the slide and the
rail is forced film of water, which,
prevents all jolting, humping, and shak
ing, and, in fact, makes the carriages
skim along as boast does on the sea.
Then, too, the pace is hundred miles
an hour. IF the new railway is really
practicable for long distances, all En-
gland will be suburb of London and
Surrey will be saved from becoming a
chessboard, covered with what the
auctioneers call villa residences stand
in their own three acres and half of
parkllke grounds" A hundred miles
an hour would make Bath as accessible
as Brighton is now, while Manchester
could be reached in an hour and fifty
minuteS
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
A Story About Wendell Phillips.

This reminds me, without any especial
connection, writes Arlo Bates, in the
October Book Buyer, of an anecdote of
himself which Mr.. Wendell Phillips
once told me. A number of years ago
a poor man, whose case, for some rea-
son or for no reason skilliully presented,
had excited good deal of sympathy
among Boston philanthropists, con-
ceived the idea Of having an entertain
ment given for his benefit, and pre-
vailed upon Mr.. Phillips and the Rev.
William r. Alger, both of whom were
at that time extremely popular speak
ers, to give him what would be known
in theatrical circles as benefit. The
affair was very well advertised, men
being even employed to carry placards
about town, means OF advertising
more novel then than now, and it was ex-
pected that Music Hail, the place chosen
for the exercises, would be crowded.
But from some cause or other, the
weather, rival attractions, or what not,
the patronage was so light that the
amount rece we'd for the tickets WAS not
sufficient to pay the expenses. On the
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
Isabella, the Vagabond Queen.

From the Gentleman's Magazine
It is difficult to understand why the
Spaniards, a proud, sensitive people,
should have submitted so long to ruler
whom they could not respect; her good
hearted, happy-go-lucky nature seemed
to cast charm over them. Her total
lack of reticence appealed to them; they
could follow so easily all the workings
of her mind, whether, with childish
petulancy, she was reproaching her
ministers with betraying her, or confess
them. If her sins were open, so was
her repentance; year by year, when
holy week came round, this woman,
who, for the other fiity-one weeks had
been outraging every law, human
and divine, kneeled in church Tor
the hour together, and with loud
sObs and groans, proclaimed
her sorrow for the past, her resolution
to make atonement in the future. Her
subjects, seeing her sorrow, sorrowed
too, and. when Easter Day arrived, were
as convinced as she was that a new era
in her lite was at hand. The Maundy
Thursday ceremony never failed to win
for her hearty adherents. She washed
the feet of the beggars with such mani
fest zeal; spoke to them such kindly,
loving words; served them with food as
if she thought it a privilege to do so.
and, at the close of the feast, cleared
the table with dexterlty that showed
her heart was in her work. Her splen-
did robes-she always wore full Court
dress upon these occasions-seemed to
enhan> e the touching humility of her
attitude, and, although the freethinking
part of the community scoffed at what
they called the Popish mummery of
the whole affair, that was not the feeling
with which the bulk of the pop
ulation regarded it.. One year,
while she was serving at table, q
diamond fell from her headdress on to
the plate of one of the beggars. A
dozen hands were stretched out to re-
store the jewel, but the queen motioned
to the man to keep it, remarkilg simp-
ly: "It has fallen to him by lot" Her
generosity was unbounded; it was not in
her nature to say "no" to a beggar;
while the one point upon which she
made a firm stand against her ministers
was in insisting upon her right to exer-
else mercy, and the hardest struggle she
ever had with them was apropos of a
pardon granted at the request of Res
stori. A queen has many chances of do
ing little gracious acts, and Isabella
never failed to seize each one as it came
In her way; not. however, for the sake
of winning popularity, but simply to
follow the bent of her own nature,
which, as she showed the other day, is
still unchanged, for she of all Paris was
the first to remember that Prado's VIC
tim needed help and comfort.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
A Peculiar Customer.
DR.. Smythe, in Globe-Democrat.


A few days ago a man called on me
and asked me to pull one of his teeth.
When told him to open his mouth and
show me which was tie aching tooth,
he replied that he never had toothache
in his life but that he was sick and had
been advised to consult a dentist.
There was something SO original in this
that [ pressed him lor an explanation,
and finally learned that he had consult
ed faith healer, who had seriously ad-
vised him to have sound tooth extract
Ell to cure some disease. which should
imagine was malaria aggravated by an
unlimited indulgence in bad beer.
l tried to argue the fellow into sense,
but failed, and he went away in search
OF some dentist who, as he politely put
it, would take his money and not use
his mouth quite so freely" l do not
know whether he found one, but / hope
not.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
AN INOIAN GHOST STORY.
How the Spirit of Govind Brahmin KILLED
Prison Warder.

How the Spirit of Govind Brahmin Killed
Prison Warder.
From the India Times.
Saheb Ben Dhobey was a prison of
hcial of proved courage and magnificent
physique. who was brought from Jes-
sore to Alipore to take the place of head
warder. 1t was his duty to visit the
patrols between the surrounding wall 8
every night between the hours of Il and
2. On one occasion after he had been
only few days in the Jail, he set out on
his rounds as usual, but some time after
2 A. NJ. it was found that he had not re-
turned. Time wore on, and at last mere
wondering why he was 50 late gave
place to anxiety, aud search party was
organized. They carried torches, and
at last came upon the insensible form of
Saheb Ben Dhobey. He was lying pros
trate on the ground close to the hos
pital gate, which is situated about 100
yards distant from the gallows. The un-
fortunate man was carried to the o.
fcials' quarters, and there, after time,
by the application OF water and other
restoratives, he was brought around.
The following was the tale he told:
He had been going his rounds and
had stopped down to adjust one of his
shoes, when lie telt some one spring
upon him from behind and commence
belaboring him between his shoulders.
The conclusion forced him onto his
hands and knees, and he first thought
that it was prisoner trying to escape.
Not very much alarmed, for he had
confidence in his great physical PROV
ess, he tried to grasp his assailant by
putting one arm behind his back; but
he could feel nothing, yet the blows
continued to rain down upon him, and
he felt himself pressed down to the
earth by great weight. At last voice
addressed him. "You dare come here,
do you, to defile by your presence the
territories of Govind Brahmin ?" And
with that the man elt himself lifted
bodily up and then dashed face forwad
on to the ground. He remembered no
more till he awoke to consciousness in
the guard-room
When he had finished this strange
story. the aged head warder, who was
about to retire, came UP and put the
question: What is this that is being
said about Govind Brahmin % This led
to explanations, and the old warder
told how a noted budmash of that name,
who had committed several cold blooded
murders, had been hanged in Alipore
Jail six-and-twenty years before.
But" pointed out one Of the auditors,
"Saheh Ben Dhobey was attacked q
good distance from the gallows. We
found him close to the hospital gate"
"Ah!" replied the old man impressive
ly, 1.-THE scaffold in those days stood on
the very spot where you found the
PROSTATE body of Saheb Ben Dhobey."
The latter listened with blanched
face: then be threw himself back on
the couch on which he lay. my
hour has come," he said. sit must
have been the shirt of GOVind Bra h.
heart is broken. 1t is certain I must
die" And die he did in two days
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
A New Cement.
From the Scientific American.

new cement, for securing iron into
stone, is described in some of the foreign
papers. The cement is made by melt
ing resin and stirring in brick dust,
which must be finely ground and sifted,
until sort of putty is formed, which,
however runs easily while hot. In u.s.
ing. the iron is set into the hole in the
stone prepared to receive it. and the
melted putty poured in, until the space
is filed; then, if desired. bits of brick,
previously warmed, may be pushed in
to the mass, and little of the cement
thereby saved. AS soon as the whole is
cool the iron will be firmly held to the
and uninjured by the weather, while,
unlike lead and sulphur, it has no in
furious effect on the iron.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
HercuIean Strength

Continually on the strain, or overtaxed at in
tervals is far less desirable than ordinary vigor
perpetuated by rational diet and exercise, and
abstention from excess. Professional pugilists
and athletes rarely attain extreme old age AS
ordinary vigor may be retained by wise regard
Tor sanitary living, and for the protection
against disease which timely and judicious med
lcation affords, SO also it may be lost through
prolonged sedentary labor, uninterrupted men,
tai strain, and foolish eating and drinking, the
chief and most immediate sequence of ali four
being dyspepsia. For this condition thus. or in
any way induced, and for its offspring, failure
ach Bitters is the primest and most genial of
remedies Not only Indigestion bat loss of
flesh, appetite and sleep are remedied by it. In
c1plent malaria and rheumatism are banished,
and kidney, bowel and liver complaint re-
moved nv it
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
Don't Waste Your Time

and money experimenting with doubtful
remedies, when DR.. Pierce's Golden Medi-
cal discovery is so positively certain In its
curative action as to warrant IFS msnufac-
turers in supplying it to- the public, as
they are doing through druggists, under a
duly executed certificate of guarantee, that
it will accomplish all that it is recommend
ed to do, or money paid for it will be
promptly returned. 1t cures torpid liver,
or biliousness, indigestion, or dyspepsia,
all humors, or blood taints, from whatever
cause arising, skin and scalp diseases, scrof-
ulous affections, mot excepting co1Eump-
ton. or lung-scrotula) if taken in time and
given fair trial.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23

day following the lecture Mr.. Phillips
received a call from the beneficiary,
were twenty dollars more than the re-
ceipts, and just as the orator opened his
lips to express his regrets, the visitor
added coolv II. suppose that Of
course you and Mr.. Alger will be
responsible for the balance" Who
really did pay the deficit I do not
know, but the incident pretty well illus
trates the mental attitude of the people
who live by the sympathy of the com
munity.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
A Deposed King.

King ia ia, the deposed potentate of
West Africa, who has been imprisoned
in the island of St. Vincent by the En-
glish, has taken up Napoleonic habit.
He became extremely melancholy and
fears were entertained that he would
soon sink into premature grave, when
somebody suggested teaching him how
to play cards. he now spends days
and weeks at solitaire. He is as patient
and docile as a lamb since he learned
the game, and he has begun to recover
his health and spirits. II he could De-
head a few slaves he would be himself
again.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
THE ELECT.
RY ". II. THOKNE.

BY w. II. THORNE.
he maketh the winds His angels:
His ministers tongues OF flame,
And these. His Oldest evaDgels,
Forever proclaim the same.
Eternal gospel OF splendor,
Wisdom, and power. and love,
And OF justice, true, yet tender
As the Onve and the dove.
At times In their savage madness,
His winds in our eyes are hurl d;
Giving us blindness tor gladness,
And blackness that shrouds the world.
But ever His rainbow groweth,
Like flowers, out of the dew
OF darkness and light He soweth
For the broken hearted few.
There are riffs in lies Lutte, tangles,
DiscOrds in its richest sounds;
The Elect are those His angels
Touch in their daily rounds.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
Tribulations of an Editor.
From the Boston Transcript.

TIUH IHe OUstU1I KIHISCTIPJ.
A man never exhibits bis inferiOrity
to the fair sex SO emphatically as when
he undertakes to build the kitchen fire.
He strews the floor with coal ashes,
shavings and stove backing, permeates
the atmosphere with profanity and
makes a mess of everything generally,
without producing fire fervent enough
to boil pint of water.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
A Wonderful Flesh Producer

of Cod Liver Oil by many tb ousands who
have taken it. It not only gives flesh and
strength by virtue of it's own nutritious
properties. but creates an appetite for food.
Use 1T. and try your aoeight. SCOTS Emul-
sion is perfectly palatable. Sold by all
Druggists.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23
A Family Gathering,

Have you a father? Have you mother
Have you son or dan -hter, sister or a
brother who has not yet taken Kemp's Bal
sam for the Throat and Lungs, the guaran-
teed remedy for the cure of Coughs, Colds.
Asthma, Group and all Throat and Lung
troubles? If SO, why, when sample bot
tie is gladly given to you free by any drug
gist, and the large size costs only soc and
81 no
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23

JUDGE-"You are a freeholder ?"
Prospective juryman eyes, sir.'
Judge-"Married or single ?" Pros
pective juryman-"M Married three years
ago last MONTH" Judge-"Have you
expressed any opinion" Prospect
tive juryman-"Not since 1 was mar
red, three years ago" -Boston Post.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-23

From the LONDON ruin.
Baroness Vetsera, the mother of the
heroine of the Crown Prince Rudolph Is
catastrophe. recently Published history
of the friendship between the Crown
Prince and her daughter, with .numer-
ous letters, the object being to show
that she was not herself an accessory to
the affair. This book was published at
Leipsic. but it's circulation has been for
hidden in Austria, Germany and Rus
STA, so the Baroness commenced nego-
tiations with a view to the publication
of tull translation in London. hear
that the Prince OF Wales has taken a
great deal of trouble to stop the appear
ance of the book, which could only
cause painful and mischievons scan
dal, and in Difference to his advice the
Baroness has reluctantly abandoned the
project.
HAVE you tried "Tansill's Punch Cigar?