Morning journal and courier., 1889-07-25
TRUE.

They are having lovely weather at sarato-
go. Spring weather, SO to speak.-Yonkers
Statesman.
When grain field has got about all it can
hold it is ready for some mower.-Glens
Falls Republican.
Last winter the ice was drowning every
body, now everybody is drowning the ice
Dansville Breeze.
Winks-"Were you ever stage struska"
Blinks-"Well, yes; you might call 1t that.
I was knocked down by an omnibus once in
New York.-Lowen Citizen.
Peasant, after having thoroughly thrashed
stubborn OK -"See now, If you were not SO
obstinate, we two might live together like
| brothers. s."-Fliegende Blatter.
Say, Doc, I've got hoss that's terribly
spawned. What would you advise me to
dos
Veterinary sureeon-Sell the critter. Two
dollars, please.-Lawrenoe American.
| Englishmen propose buy the buy the gas
plants of Chicago and furnish fuel at 900 per
| thousant feet. They won't make much
money if the feet are of the regulation kind
| in vogue in that city.-Rochester Post-Ex-
| press.
Wife-I notice that the writer's on health
| say we should keep the mouth closed while
| we are asleep. I've notion to try it. Do
you think coulds
I auSUhuu~4U "ouAN Oo LIZ AnIu4 ~ pAdouASo
! 1t little first while you are eawake.-Omaha
| World.
| Hubby-What kind Of stuff do you call
| Wife-Why, my dear, that is angel cake
Hubby-Umph! l suppose it must be. l
know it was never meant for mortal.-New
York Sun.
The Reason.-Bsssie-sI met Miss Shape
ly out shopping to-day, and I never before
realized what loud voice she has" Jennie nls
I-"But you must remember, my dear, that
she was asking for pair of No. shoes.
Harper's Bazaar.
Inventor-I would like to get you interest,"
ed in my improved fly paper.
Capitalist-What makes you think it will
De successfula
Inventor-Because it's gotten up in imita.
tion Of bald head.-Life.
Mistress--Where are the nails, joint
| john didn't know what kind you want
ed, ms'am.
Mistress-What kinds did the dealer haves
John-Six-penny, eight-penny and ten
penny, maam.
Mistress-You should have bought the
latter, John. You know we always get the
best.-Jud2e.
Paris prices: The Paris landlords and res
taurant keepers are gathering in rich har-
vest. guest at restaurant called for the
proprietor and said: 'sYour prices are very
peculiar. A week ago I dined here and paid
fifteen francs. Here ia the bill. To-day
have had precisely the same dishes, and you
charge mo nineteen francs. Here is the sec
ond BILL" The proprietor examined the bills
: and said: "I am very much obliged to you fol
calling my attention to this matter. Th.
first bill was evidently mistake, so you will
please hand over four francs more."-Texai
Siftings.
, Change as an Appetzer.-Mrs. Brown
sis this hotel on the European plans" Mr.
Brown Gn preoccupied tones from behinc
his paper)-"Yes, my dear" Mrs. B.-"l
am not feeling hungry this morning. j:
think I'll merely take some coffee and rolls. ;
Mr.. B. Qaying aside paper)-"What were
You asking me, my dears On the European
plana No, it is not" Mrs. B. Ito waiter)--
3 "You may bring me an omelette, some shad
. mutton chops, with a bit of bacon, bakee
potatoes, rolls and coffee, and afterward
some griddle cakes and syrup. p."-Harper'
Magazine.