The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1889-01-18
MISCELLANEOUS.

that the occupants OF the graves are
always at home.-N O. Hcaaune.
1t may be doubted whether the
practice Of chewing gum has an iniuri-
Gus effect on the eyes of the gum
chewer, but 1t hurts the eyes OF other
people. SomerUille Journal.
--Lincoln County, Georgia, requires
on the average only day and a half of
| court. AT the last session the only
prisoner who has been in Jail in the
county for several years was let go on
his own recognizance, the prosecutor
failing to appear.
Statistics lately published in En-
gland show that the world has 700
Cresuses worth $5.0O0.00 or over, of
whom 200 reside in England, 100 in the
United States, 100 in Germany, rs In
France, so In Russia, 80 in India and
125 in other countries.
There is a new high-wire act Two
men starting from different ends of a
slack wire meet and pass each other,
| going by on waltz step. A woman
actually dances on the wire, and a man
trots across it with a companion up
right on his shoulders.
"A lady saw driver, angry with
his horses for some fancied offense.
about to lash them severely. She in
terrupted him by inquiring the way to
certain street. to certain mans
house. both of which she knew very
well. But the driver. too gallant not
to answer the lady's questions, had OPP
portunity for his temper TO cool, and
restored the whip to its socket without
striking blow.
Time, twentieth century. Place, at
the polls. First Female VOTER How
do you do, Mrs. Xp Who are you going
to vote for for governorPn Second Fe-
male Voter-.O, l have not decided
yet. The Republicans have put up Mr..
A. They say he's very popular. and
sure to be elected. But Mr.. b. his OPP
ponent. he doesn't seem to have any
friends at all, poor fellow; guess III
vote for him." First Female Voter
so will /. I."-Yankce Blade.
-sWhat will it cost me, Uncle Ras-
tus. to have my coop whitewashed?'
Il KANT tell yet, sab, till makes an
estimate OBJ de size and Dimensions. :
That night the owner was disturbed By
loud noise in the hen-coop. .sHi.
therei" he shouted from an upper
window. what are you doing there's?
sits Unc. Rastus," was the reply,
land he's iggerin' on de size an di-
menshnns OBJ de coop. ."-Harper's Ia
gar.
This is the darndest place ever
was in,n exclaimed the bucolic gentle
man at the theatre. 1--WE been look
ing around for the last half-hour and
can't find the door" Don't you ser
the sign on that door?n asked the gen
tlenIanly usher. Exit. that's Latin
and means the place where you go out. :
''Then why in time don't it say so?
don't know nothing about dead Ian
guages. Cause a feller can't read
Latin, he's got to burn to death in cas-,
of fire, eh?''-Bosto1 Transcript.
MEN," said the captain of tn,
steamer to the frightened passenger
huddled about him. lit is true we ar,
| not gaining on the leak, but we ar,
only fifteen miles from land, and j
necessary we can throw overheard
1900 tons Of freight TO tighten ship
There is no occasion for alarm. w,
have several hundred casks of rum ii
the hold that we can -n '.No occa
: sion for alarmr' exclaimed tall Ken
: tuekian, turning pale with apprehen
] sion. Captain, do you intend TO throw
} that rum overheard ?''- Chicago 7ri5
: une.
The average age of locomotives
: about twelve years, yet many, throrgl
proper habits of living, taking thei
meals regular and avoiding all intoxi
eating beverages attain quite a re
spectacle old age. The oldest run
ming engine in Germany has been OF
the road since 1915, and is conse
l quentlv forty-three years old; quite
| Methuselah, In fact. With regard +
t its habits it has always confined itsel
strictly to water, though it has bee
: addicted to smoking all its life. 1t i
I sad to see a locomotive grown prema
e turely old by getting on trains and run
5 ming all night. but they are often me
within collisions.-TeraS SiftiHgS.
Flagstaff, Me-, is an interesting
town for two reasons. 1t always has
Miles Standish among its citizens, an
the Standish farm covers the groun
t where Benedict Arnold encamped o.
5 his Quebec expedition, and where h
e erected a flagstaff, from which tn
t place received its name. CIV. Stand
e ish, one of the leading men of tn
i town, is the only remaining son c
? Miles Standish, who was the eight
It direct descent from Miles Standish. th
It captain of Plymouth. G. w. Stand
d ishs only brother, Miles. died seve
$ years ago, but he left a son Miles, no,
4 twenty-five years old, sod G. w. has
|, son Miles, who is four years old.
y Young lady Cat dinner. sadly, I
u partner)-"I was forcibly reminde
d yesterday, Mr.. Larkins, of the openin
e words of the poem, 4 never loved
dear gazelle.' Mr.. Larkins (wit
q interest)-"Yesr' Young Lady-''Ye e.
e L was presented with lovely littl
= lamb which l tenderly nursed an
: cared for through the summer, and {
y which l grew very fond. Yesterda
"a the poor little creature broke its lie
p and it became necessary to kill it. Nv
. felt so distressed over the matter.
e Mr.. Larkin-"It is indeed, Miss Brown
= truly sad" Young Lady-''Ah, yei
= Mr.. Larlzins, and the piece de resis
= ance of to-day's dinner is all that
ID left of my poor little lamb. 1t nearl
u breaks my heart. Won't you hay
y a small piece of the crisp fat, Mr. La