Morning journal and courier., 1889-02-26
EXACTLY.

l Amateur huntsman, who has shot hare .sWho could it have been that fired exactly when I didT'-Fli-gende Blatter. 1 A New Fork theatrical manager denies ths 1 rumor that he is having Robert Elsmere' ! dramatized for the stage, but the report tha 1 c volume of the census of 1880 is being con. verted into a comic opera still goes uncon. l radlcted.-Nerristown Herald. Il a. m. Mother-Now mind, Johnnie there's ghost in that dark closet guarding the jam.
 Johnnie trembles violently and commences l to water at the mouth.
 2p m Johnnie-Oh, mammal the ghost has eaten half of the jam!-Chicago Inter. Ocean.
 At the breakfast table-sI see there are two accounts of cremations in the paper this morning."
 "Yes, they are becoming very common "I suppose before long they will have to change 'fSee that my grave is kept green, to See that my ashes ain't split. ."'-Chicago Herald.
 A prominent Main street merchant receiv- ed @ sharp and quick answer yesterday from a newsboy. The youngster was standing in front of the mans store crying his papers, when the proprietor stepped to the door and
 told him to clear out; that he was making | too much noise. The boy eyed him for 8 | moment, and then said: ''Well, buy me out and I'll dry up."-Bufalo Courier. A very intricate question.-Tailor-'I am l in a regular pickle. I can't decide what to do" Friend-'Lst me hear what your di. lemma is." "You see, Baron Habeniehts has given me an order for 8 suit of clothes. Now. I don't know, as he never pays his debts, whether ought to charge him big price, or whether should charge him as lit tie as possible, SO my loss will not amount to much h"-From the, German, in Texas Siftings.
 ''The glorious flag of our beloved land, ? exclaimed the impsssioned orator in a fine burst of patriotic fervor, twill ere long wave over us with five new stars glittering in it's illustrious galaxy, and in matohless grandeur the country will march on to it's destiny, out growing it's geographies, it's maps and charts "Huzza! Huzza!" yelled an enthusiastic school book publisher in the audisnce.-Chi- cago Tribune.
 A man who wanted to learn what profes.
 sion he would have his son enter, put him in
 a room with bible, an apple and dollaE bill. If he found him when he returned
 reading the bible he would make clergyman
 of him, if eating the apple a farmer, and if
 interested in the dollar bill banker. When
 he returned he found the boy sitting on the
 bible with the dollar bill in his pocket and
 the apple almost devoured. He made poli- GlClAn or Qlm.-6I0SQSDOrOuSn \Ala.j w aLCu- man.
 A Hard-Hearted Capitalist.--An able bod
 jed tramp stopped in front of well-known
 citizen of Austin, and said in 8 whining
 tone: "Plesse give me some assistance. I
 have no friends or family. I am homeless and friendless." "You aref We'll, then, if
 you have no friends to borrow money from
 you. and no family to support, you are
 better off than I am. You might have
 money to lend. say, lend me a quarter" :"
 But the man without any responsibilities
 passed on without contributing cent.-Tex-
 as Siftings.
 Rather good story is told by dry goods
 man in Kingston. On the same block there
 is a store ''selling out" The other afternoon
 a woman rushed in, saying: 'Is this the
 store where they're selling out" She was
 we'll dressed, and, as the clerk added Hooked
 as though she might have some money to
 spend.n ''Is this the store where they're
 selling outa" she repeated. "Well, yes, we're
 selling out as fast as we can," he answered.
 Said the woman, excitedly, "I left my pock.
 etbook on the counter, and want it. That
 changed the phase of affairs, and the dry
 goods man carefully explained to her that
 the store she wanted was just tabove.-Kings-
 ton Freeman.