The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1889-07-04
CONFLICTING DUTIES.

There Is no more perpleXlng prop
lem than that presented when an
apparent duty comes in conflict
with ones kindly feelings and desire
to help an unfortunate person, par
ticularly when the latter is a close
friend or relative.
There are some who pride them
selves upon being SO just that when
friends or dear relatives are in the
wrong they can oppose and thwart
them who, in the interest of truth,
will expose their tailings, give
warnings as to their faults, and gen.
orally act, not as friends, but very
like enemies, observes the Sun.
In contrast with such people may
be set men of the class of Simon
Cameron, to whom is ascribed the
saying: "Any man will stand by
you when you are right; it is only
true friend who will stand by you
when you are wrong"
Both classes may be set down as
extremists, each with a germ of
truth upon which to found false
rule of conduct. The one exagger-
ates his duty to the general public as
against his friend in the endeavor to
be just, or to be considered just !;
the other exaggerates the duties of
friendship, ignoring his duties to
the general public.
1t is true that the duties of love
and friendship are paramount, but
they can best be observed by trying
to correct the friend who is wrong,
and endeavoring to protect him
from such consequences of his wrong
as might prevent his reformation.
Such course may require judi
cious silence as TO faults and short
comings, apologies and efforts to
put the best possible face ON circum-
stances or actions that cannot be
defended, rather than such frank
admissions as the man who prides
himself upon being just is disposed
to make.
The duties that press upon men
in their social life are many and
sometimes conflicting.
Thus if man happens to learn
that another, perhaps his friend, has
been dishonest, and is now in a po-
sition of trust where continued dis
honesty may do great harm to other
innocent people, it is his duty to
give warming to the latter.
But if he has hopes that his friend
may be reclaimed it isjust as clearly
his duty to do all in his power to
effect reform and keep his friend
from falling into confirmed evil
ways.
Ifhe should utter the cry of warm
ing for the benefit of the general
public the inevitable consequence
would be to blast his friends repu-
tation and perhaps drive him into
the practices from which he should
be saved. If, on the other hand, he
should remain silent and give mega
tie support to his friend by associ-
alton he might promote the wrongs
to others which he is bound to avert
if it is within his power.
The situation is one of great per-
plexity, for which there can be no
fixed rule and guide. But it may
he laid down as safe principle that
vague general duties should never
outweigh special duty arising from
friendship or other close relation.
Where there are opposing duties
the benefit of the doubt should
always be given to those closest and
nearest to us, and especially in cases
where there is possibility of pro-
noting reform and redeeming a
friend who is going wrong.
Quite apart from cases involving
serious injury or crime are those
where one becomes cognizant of the
growing bad habits of friend or
acquaintance, as, for example, where
one happens to know a trusted clerk
who is beginning to live beyond his
means and keep fast company. The
ultra-just might consider it a duty
to warn the young mans employers
of his evil courses, and justify il by
their desire to protect him from
crime and his employers from loss.
But such course might wreck his
life by mere suspicion. The just
and fair thing to do by all concern
ed would be to call the young ,uan
to one side, warn him of his danger,
and frankly explain to him that il
he should continue in his evil ways
the other duty of giving warning
would have to be fulfilled. By that
means reform might be effected
without scandal or injury to any