, 1889-11-19
MOTHERS AS CHAPEn0NES.
WORDS OF WISDOM FOR THE PERU
SAL OF GIRLS WHO ARE "oUT."

enced Women Need the Assistance Of
Some One who Knows the World.
would not ask, Why should a mother
chaperon her daughter? but rater formu-
late my question into, Why should a
mother not chaperon her daughter?
fancy in the discussion of such a
proposition it will be found more diff
cult to prove the negative. and when the
subject is once properly understood it
must be conceded that n mother should
assuredly continue her care.
There exists no reason why she should
o
But the question becomes rather more
complicated, perhaps, when the mother
may have died, or when from any cause
1t becomes impossible for her to perform
this duty.
Then the American girl asserts herself.
She has been reared in an independ-
ence of thought and action which makes
her dissatisfied with all restraint.
She CONSTITUTES chaperonage as espion-
age.
She declares that she will not tolerate
being watched, and AYERS that she must
be allowed entire freedom and liberty of
action, and she asserts that her own per-
ceptions of right and wrong, and her
innate delicacy Of sentiment, are all that
is needed to make it quite safe for her to
go wherever she wills to do.
CHAPERoNAGE NOT ESPIONAGE.
Now, this is true, and it is moi true.
In the first place, it is a mistake to con-
found chaperonage with espionage.
To suppose that a chaperon is a spy on
ones actions is a perversion of the
proper functions of such an office.
A chaperon is either a mother or a Sc
lected matronly friend, whose tender in
terest or friendliness is the best guaran-
tee against misconstruction.
A young girl is supposed to be guile
less, artless and coniding. These are
very lovable traits, which will doubtless
some day contribute to the happiness of
a home circle of her own; but just in
proportion as these attractions exist they
become dangerous without guidance,
from their very nature and on account
OF the inexperience of youth.
Then young girls, even if ever so care
fully trained to understand the nicer
conventionalities that regulate the polite
world, are inclined to be needless, and
carried away for the time being by the
exhilaration of a gay life. Thus, with
the best disposition to do only what is
proper, they commit errors that in a
measure misrepresent them, and which
they afterward regret.
Now, it is obvious that the dignifed
presence OF a matron who loves them, or
is at all interested in them, would check
all inadvertent indiscretion from the out
set, and thus in the end greatly contrib
ute to their future well being and happi-
ness.
The situations are innumerable that
suggest themselves where such a safe
guard would be the greatest kindness.
The French nave a pithy saying, that
at is the first step hat costs" How
true! At what cost of vain and ~unavail-
ing regret might the w-ise-chaperon spare
a needless girl.
A facility of broken engagements as
well as of divorce would seem to go hand
in hand. 1t is in either case a broken
troth.
A SPECIAL DUTY.
Now N of the special duties Of the
mother OIL chaperon is to guard their
manageable wards as far as possible in
receiving the attentions of men.
An engagement, announced or unan-
nounced, is always more or less COM
promising and should in honor be deemed
a sacred promise, not to be violated I'M
less for grave and most serious reasons.
A young girl unguided is not very apt
to weigh all consequences, and the future
is to her very dreamy. She lives in her
emotions and in the present, and sadly
needs the aid of a pair of loving, spec
tacled eyes t. make her illusions safe
realities.
There are SO many little things, which
are not 80 trivial as they would seem,
where a clear judgment is needed. For
instance, in the matter Of receiving
presents. 1t is understood that a gentle
man has the privilege of sending flowers
and perhaps, if the friendship is well es-
tablished, boxes of bonbons to a lady.
AS to presents having a money value.
they are, of course, out of the question.
Yet the frequent acceptance of even
these simple gifts is to be avoided, for to
make these offerings habitually is a con-
coded and incumbent thing for a lover
to offer TO his lance.
There is a very narrow dividing line,
therefore, between the permissible and
the not permissible. One takes it for
granted that no woman other than a
heartless hirt willfully the
attentions of a man simply for the vain
qualification Of being able to count his
name among offers refused, and there
fore that any woman Of average astute-
ness can readily check ''intentions" Of
marriage before a man becomes too
deeply interested. 1t is also kind, to say
the very least, to spare the mans vanity
the modification of a refusal.
1t is u strange fact that In almost
every instance where a vain coquette has
openly boosted of her conquests she ends
by accepting the most ineligible offer. A
vertigo Of gratified vainglory seems I o
seize her and cloud her Judgment
Society then acts as a Nemesis, and
comes in with its cruel and persistent
memory. and the unfortunate contrast
Of what is and what might have been is