Omaha daily bee., 1889-05-20
ADA.


facility for making mess OF everything
you are set to do, and therefore you
must take the only course which, so far
as can see. will enable you 10 exist as
good looking fool, and marry girl
with money"
MIR. Jupp made this flattering speech
in his city counting house, when his
clerks had all disappeared for what they
considered worth calling dinner, and
the eminent tallow merchant was
alone with his nephew. Uncle Jupp
had shrewish wife and couple
OF children, portentiously ugly pair,
who, OF course, would inherit his
money, He was not bad sort Of man,
though his brutal rudeness in address
ing me was invariable. His checks,
however, somewhat softened it. But
he was of an irritable temper and OF
city notions. |, on the contrary, was
essent tally only happy on the sweet
shady side OF Pail Mall, having West
End tastes and proclivitles which would
have been tittingly mated with my
uncles cash.
you've tried Sandhurst, and were
ignominiously plucked; you never had
brains for the bar; you tried civil en-
Orbit 81 Wheeler, till at length they
cancelled your articles, as you were
demoralizing the office by your idle
ness; you tried this Office and made
nothing of the books but blots; you
couldn't even keep the secretaryship OF
the Pickled Onions Supply association
"a nice little thing which any dufier
who could write formal letter could
have held. Why, old Mango, the
chairman my old chum, said6even for
me they couldn't any longer keep
congenital idiot in the berth. Nobody
knows the bother you've been to me:
you do nothing out get into deDt-eX-
cept play billiards-and even then
you're always making hash of it"
All this listened to silently, not as
admitting it, but on the principle of
letting mine uncle run himself down. l
had in my pocket his check for m Y
usual quarterly allowance, and it was
the increased amount thereof, from
various little extra necessities which a
gentleman of culture appreciates, that
had led to this oration. | did not OBJ
ject to listen. 1t was warm day, and
though l think the counting house
smells-perhaps imaginarily-rather
tallowy, yet it was shady, and the chair
/ was in was the best in the room,
should have liked u cigar, but the odor
of tobacco was "A thing Jupp & Co.
would never have dreamed of tolerat-
ing.
My uncle kept on grumbling to him
self as he looked over his letters, and
at last, turning round on his stool, he
eyed me for a moment frownlngly.
II hen he began again, and with an evil
dent relish for his task
you'll have to live on that G1O0 a
year your poor mother left you" II shud-
dered), "unless you can increase 1T. L
can't go on allowing you an income to
fritter away. I've many calls on my
means" (the ordinary formula of all Of
fensively rich people,, ''and I've paid a
great deal of money for you, Master
Reginald You're lazy and eXtravagant.
naturally, and by long practice mag
niicent blunderer. Indeed, if 1T be
= pJssible to make null of anything
you're the man to do it,"
Here he paused and ratified the money
in his pockets, watching the clock to
see if any of his unhappy clerks over
staid their time, while | wondered if
anybody else could show more uncom-
promising old ruifian to be related to.
But was OF too refined, too sensitive a
mind to engage in u vulgar or personal
argument. Besides-which, perhaps,
is as potent n reason-l wanted
ere the interview ended to borrow some
money of Uncle Jupp. Else you may be
sure l should not have been sitting on a
fine summers day in that murky den in
Mincing lane-a day on which the very
name of tallow seemed odorous.
"Yes," said my uncle, as if he really
liked the taste OF the words, you re
lazy, stupid spendthrift, a nincom-
poop and blunderer, and you certainly
act, so far as | have seen, up to each OF
those characteristics most consistently.
But there is no doubt you are good
f.,t "a -
talent, he hadn't any cleverness, nor
had my poor sister, or she'd never have
married him, but he gave you a
fine name Uesterley certainly sounds
better than Jupp, when you haven't q
banking account, that is), and he was a
handsome man, and you're, as | said, q
handsome fool. Now that's whore your
chance is. There are plenty of plain
girls with money who don't want n hus-
band with brains-a barber's dummy
that could simper as you do" offensive
old brute, even the prospect OF a loan
hardly compensated fol this srt Of pere-
sonality); land, therefore, I'lo lonce MOI
do something for you. But this is really
the last time I'll lend you money
enough to cut good figure at Cowes
where there are some moneyed spin
sters | know, for my own friend Plum
has a house there now he's retired
He'll put you up to some good things.
Never mind age or looks-cash is the
thing. Then you'll be provided for
You require wife to keep you; yor
never could keep wife, and you aim
worth your salt at any sort of occupation
unless it were as n shopwalker, anC
then you'd send the ladies to the wrong
departments So do as / tell you, g(
down tomorrow, I'll give you the checl
for expenses now" (oh, delightful
words). 81 shall call at your lodging!
tomorrow and pay your rent, tell your
landlady, and any other debts. But, re
member, il you don't make hit nov
you needn't expect anything from me-
~ shan't, uncle" murmered, CRATE
fully.
"Well, whether you do or don't, 70,
won't get it," said he as he took out hi
check book and proceeded to fill up
leaf. III you can't get your mes
feathered now you can go featherless
Your aunt (she was n sour-faced, thin
woman, who hated me on account of IN.
good looks contrasting with those OF he
girl and boy-about as ugly pair II
you could meet with), lis always grum
hlinu with pna annnlintr 81 p,I,nl