Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1889-12-25
VIII WOMEN CAN 20.


some Thinss they Can Perform Mach
Better Than Men.
Oh, yes, undoubtedly there are things
that q woman can do better than man.
They may be small matters, but they
exist, and a woman can readily beat
man doing them, and she should have
the credit OF it.
In the first place, she can wear pet
ticoat and not take it up on her heels
when she walks, and we doubt If the
wisest man living can accomplish that
little feat even after good many times
trying. @ E
She can look sweet as sugar when she
feels cross enough to behead somebody.
She can be such excellent friends with
a rival, and help do up her back hair,
when she hates her SO that she would be
glad if she caught the smallpox and
got her face carved into . the semblance
of Chinese cabinet.
She can scold better than any man
living. She can think Of more aggra-
waiting things to say in one hour than a
man, no matter how many colleges he
has graduated from, and how many
dictionaries he has digested, can think
of in six months. z:.. rs-.E... e..
She can cry, when she can not gain
her point any other way, and it is pretty
tough work for the average man to cry,
and not make mess of it. ~. 4.
She can spank a baby better than
man. She feels that it is her right to
do it, and man always goes about it as
ho oh - hn
didn't know exactly where to begin, or
where to leave off.
She can drive hens out of the garden
in half the time it will take a man to do
it. 1t is no use to swear at hens. They
do not understand profanity, but the
swish of a skirt, and the flourish of
sun-bannet, are arguments they can not
withstand.
A woman can find something to talk
about when a man would be dead broke
for topic.
She can manage to keep you waiting
while she gets ready to 60 somewhere
longer than five men could, unless they
were youths in the clutches of first
love, and had to struggle with refract>
DRY neck-ties.
A woman can get more bundles to-
gether in half days shopping than
man can carry, and she can buy goods
ten per cent. cheaper than he can, be-
cause, in the first place, she always
asks every body what they paid for ev-
cry thing, and is thoroughly posted on
prices; and, in the second place, she has
the infinite patience to stand and talk
to the clerks, and wheedle, and coax,
and bargain, until, in the sheer despera-
ton of utter soul-weariness, they take
off two cents a yard. and think them
selves lucky to escape SO we'll.
A woman can be patient when the fire
doesn't burn. She can look serene when
the coffee won't settle. She can refrain
from mentioning the Evil One when the
bread is heavy. She can control her
self, and not go into spasms, if her col
lar is not ironed to suit her.
She doesn't go to Europe, or take to
drink, when Tom 'sgoes back" on her.
She does a more sensible thing. She
accepts Dick, and shows Tom that she
| didn't care fig for him.
Women are the best part of creation.
We all know that. The other sex may
ridicule them all they please, but they
wouldn't have women abolished for the
world! There would be nobody to sew
on buttons. Nobody to find fault with.
Nobody to raise mustaches for. Nobody
to feel an interest in your cold, and tc
put catnip poultices on you when you
had the toothache. Nobody to buy ice
creams for. Nobody to love. Nobody
to hug. Nobody to kiss, for it is
spectacle to make angels weep to see
! one man kiss another.
And so, in spite of the fact that WON.
en- are the weaker sex, let us have WON.
en- right along, because there are things
that they can do better than men.-N.
Y. Weekly.