The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-10-02
MARK TwAIY's REMAINS.


An Old Printer Tells n New Story OF the
Iumorist.
J.H. stebbins, an old printer, gave the
World this unpublished "reminiscences Of
Mark Twain:
at was when no was known only as
Sam Clemens. He was local reporter Of
the Virginia City EnterprIe, and l was
a printer on the same paper, Clemens
was writing humorous sketches, but his
fame as a humorist was young yet. He
was an inyeterate smoker, and smoked
the foulestsmelling pipe in Virginia
City, by all odds. Clemens office was
Just off tho composing room and, al.
though the printers as rule arc not
squeamish about pipes and things,
this pipe was breeding revolu.
ton. II smelled so internally bad
that We always spoke OF II as
THE Remains There were numerous
plots to get The Remains out Of the
way, but we hesltated about putting
them into execution when We learned
that 1t was q pipe OF considerable value,
and one that he cherished on account Of
It's associations or something. 1t was
clear, however, that something had to DO
done, and we finely concluded TO pre-.
sent Clemens with new pipe. We had
suffered so much from the old pipe OF a
thousand Smells that We felt justified In
making him tho victim Of a joke, II we
could, and bought the cheapest pipe we
could find that would pass after night
for good one. ! think 1t cost US 80
cents. One night, after we had tile
paper up, we all fled solemnly out
into the local room and presented
Clemens with tho pipe. We threw as
much ceremony into the presentation as
possible. One OF the boys made an adj
dress that was really affecting. He talk.
cd about the toilers in the profession Of
journalism, their long nights OF labor
when all the rest Of the world was wrap.
ped in peaceful slumber. Then he
worked In some poetry about tobacco
and the solace 1t afforded the tired brain.
He spoke Of tho warm friendship that
always existed between tho local depart.
ment and tho composing room, and
hoped nothing would ever occur TO sever
those silken ties, Then he handed him
the thirty cent fraud, wiped his fingers
through his eyes and sat down.
Clemens was knocked out completely
for time, but he pulled himself togeth.
or, and returned his thanks in a very
feeling manner. He said tho pretty gift
from his Co-workers on the paper touched
him deeply, and would retain 1t long as
a souvenir Of pleasant days. The old
pipe had long been friend and com.
panion. 1t had been q comforter In
lonely hours; but this handsome gift
from friends he loved made the parting
easy, and as climax to his.Femarks, he
threw the ill-smelling ,old.timer out Of
the window. We accepted his invita-.
ton TO 20 down stairs with him, and
knowing tho miserable swlndle we had
perpetrated, every dollar he spent gave
US pang.
The very next night, while Clemens
was smoking his new pipe, the bowl Of
the cursed thing split open from stein
to stern. We heard him growing 10
himself, and looking out Of q hole In tho
wall through which he showed copy, we
saw him brushing the ashes of his desk
and clothes, and swearing softly in a
very picturesque manner. He didA't
say q word 10 hS about the pipe or its
fate, and you bet we said nothing to
him.
1t was evident, however, that he had
done some thinking, for he appeared al
the Office next night complacently smok.
Ing Tho Remains. He had gone down
into the back yard and hunted 1t up"