The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1889-11-29
PRATTLE.

Here is problem for the average
Corvallis councilman to study over, if
he sees fit: Suppose there are twenty
streets in Corvallis and on each street
there are eighteen crossings, one-third
of the whole number are very muddy
and the remaining two-tliirds are kept
clean. On the streets that are clean
come 10 strangers and on the muddy
ones 6, they are to meet at certain
point, all have nice newly-blacked
shoes on starting out, the 10 have
bunions and the 6 corns. Now, when
they reach their destination and their
feet are cleaned, which will furui:h
the most dirt the 20 shoes or the l2?
And which of the two classes of strang-
ers will have used the most ''cuss"
words-the 10 or the 81 This 'sprob-
lem" question happened to arise in
my arithmetical bump on Sunday last,
when l and several others were COM
PEELED to wade through the mud which
had collected itself on several crossings
on Monroe and other streets. The
city officials should hire some one to
clean these walks as often rs every
other day, anyway. 1t would be an
everlasting benefit to those of the male
persuasion and, l am certain, the ladies
of this city would offer up thanks.
One of the ministers of Corvallis
will, on next Sunday evening, preach
sermon concerning the "Mysterious
Young Man. Iwonder if he has been
looking up some of the Corvallis
twenty-oners; If such is the case his
remarks will, without doubt, he very
interesting. There are several around
this Incorporated county seat who are
of such disposition that it certainly
is mystery to know how they exist.
From early morning till close on to
midnight for seven days in each week,
the hardest exercise they take is either
to stand on the street corners with their
hands in their pockets and watch pass
ersby, or to hang around the different
eye-sores of the ''prohis" s"-the saloons.
On the sabbath days they either attend
u horse-race or go duck-huntlng, and
in the evening are always seen and
heard around church door wanting to
"catch on" the extent of their reading
is the dime novel Or detective stories.
They are no earthly good to their
parents and are a detriment to them
selves. Taken all in all they are
mystery. and thoughts for lengthy
discourse could be furnished.
Concerning the late elections in some
of the old and new states during the
past few weeks I notice that there is
considerable difference in people. For
instance: the Ohio people have shown
that they did not want Foraker by
running Campbell against him;
those of Montana chose Tool-e for
their ruler. and "Wash" has to depend
on a Ferry for the next four years.
A reporter OH a Salem paper in his
river notes, which appeared in the
issue of the 22nd, says:
"Also on the boat contentedly chew
ing cuds gathered from the stock farm
of Hon. j. L. Apperson, at Oregon
City, were one imported bull, three
registered cows and heifer, all Jerseys,
bound for the State Agricultural col
lege at Corvallis. Three COWS were
purchased by the college and Mr.
Apperson generously threw in the bull
and heifer."
The reader will naturally wonder
after perusing the above quoted re
marks, it these same animals are rs
contented with the cuds they have
gathered from the state agricultural
college as those furnished by their
former owner. If fcollege cuds are as
'.fresh" AS most college students, no
doubt the cows are happy.
At the lower end Of the wharf, foot
Of Monroe street, attached to one of
the piles driven there, is sign with
these words: "Notice, Positively 90
Admittance'' Were you to take one
step beyond that notice you would
find very damp footing-so mush SO
that you would never be able to read
those words again. It certainly is a
curious condition of things when such
/ warnings have to be posted to prevent
one from precipitating himself into IA
watery grave.
Astoria has beet that weighs thirty
six pounds, and Salem produces one
which has grown to the shape OF a
hand, there being four fingers and a
thumb all well fitted to a palm OF
suitable form. Corvallis with her
educated agricultural college farm will
have to rustic to beat the two spoken
of above. Whenit gets right down
to facts though, we have some 150-
pound sdead beats" s"-and they are
| preserved in alcohol.
Noticing, as I pass along by the
several business houses, that evidences
of the approaching holidays are be-
ginning to display themselves, calls to
my mind an occurrence which hap
pened on Christmas Of last year, and