River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1889-04-11
The Brakeman at Church.

non fading away in the distance, the
fat passenger drumming idly on the
window pane, the cross passenger
sound asleep, and the tall, thin passen.
ger reading "Gen. Grants Tour
Around the World" To me comes
the brakeman, and seating himself on
the arm of the seat, says:
Il went to church yesterday.
,.Yes!" l said, with that interested
infection that asks for more. "And
what church did you attendp"
(which do you guessl" he asked.
"Some union mission church," haz-
arded.
'No," he said, 81 don't like to run
on these branch roads very much. /
don't often go to church, and when /
do, want to run on the main line,
where your run is regular and you go
on schedule time, and don't have to
wait on connections. / don't like to
run on branch. Good enough, but
don't like it"
''Episcopal!' | guess.
Limited express" he said, s'all
palace cars, and two dollars extra for
seat, fast time, and only stop at the
big stations. Nice line, but too ex-
haustive for a brakeman. All train
men in uniform, conductors punch
and lantern silver plated, and no train
boys allowed. Then the passengers
are allowed to talk back to the conduc
tor, and it makes them too free and
easy. No, couldn't stand the palace
cars. Rich road, though. Don't oft
en- hear of a receiver being appointed
for that line. Some mighty nice peo-
pie travel ON it, too
"UniversalistP' l suggested.
Broad gauge" said the brakeman,
''does too much complimentary bust
ness. Everybody travels on pass.
Conductor doesn't get fare once in
fifty miles. Stop at all flag stations,
and won't run into anything but un-
ion depot. No smOking-car on the
train. Train orders are rather vague,
though, and trainmen don't get along
well with the passengers No, don't
go to the Universalist, though l know
some awfully good men who run on
that road"
Presbyterian" l asked.
Marrow gauge, eh! said the brake
man, pretty track, straight as rule;
tunnell right through mountain
rather than go around It; spirit.level
grade; passengers have 10 show their
tickets before they get on the train.
Mighty strict road, but the cars are
little narrow; have to sit one in a seat
and no room in the aisle to dance.
Then there is no stop.over tickets al.
| lowed; got to go straight through to
the station you're ticketed for, or you
can't get on at all. When the cars
full, no extra coaches; cars are built
at the shops to hold just SO many, and
nobody else allowed on. But you
don't often hear of an accident on
that road. It's run right up to the
rules.
maybe you joined the Free-Think-
ers!' | said.
Scrub road" said the brakeman,
dirt road.bed and no ballast, no time
card and no train dispatcher. All
trains run wild, and every engineer
makes his own time, just as he pleases.
Smoke if you want to; kind of a go-as-
you please road. Too many side
tracks, and every switch wide open
all the time, with the switchman
sound asleep aud the target-lamp dead
out. Go on as you please and off when
you want to. Don't have to show
your tickets, and the conductor isn't
expected to do anything but amuse the
passengers. No, sir, | was offered
pass, but don't like the line. l don't
like to travel on a road that has no
terminus. Do you know, sir, asked
division superintendent where that
road run to, and he said he hoped to
die if he knew. | asked him if the
general superintendent could tell me,
and he said he didn't believe they had
a general superintendent, and if they
had, he didn't know anything more
about the road than the passengers.
| asked him who he reported to, and
he said, Nobody l asked a conduc-
tor who he got his orders from. and
he said he didn't take orders from any
living man or dead ghost. And when
| asked the engineer who he got his
orders from, he said, he'd like to see
anybody give him orders; he'd run
the train to suit himself. or he'd run
her in the ditch Now you see, sir,
I'm a railroad man and | don't care to
run on a road that has no time, or
makes no connections, runs nowhere,
and has no superintendent. 1t may
be all right, but I've railroaded too
long to understand it,
Maybe you went to the Congrega-
tional church," said.
Popular road, said the brakeman,
ian old road, too; one of the very old
est in this country. Good road-bed
and comfortable cars. Well managed
road, too; directors don't interfere
with division superintendent and
train orders. Roads mighty popular,
but its pretty independent, too Yes,
didn't one of the division superintend-
ents down East discontinue one of the
oldest stations on this line two OF
three years sgol But it's a mighty
pleasant road to travel on. Always
has such a splendid class of passen-
gers"
did you try the Methodist" 1
said.
Now you're shouting" he said
with some enthusiasm. Nice road,
eh! Fast time and plenty of passen-
gers. Engines carry power of steam,
and don't you forget it; steam gsgue
shows a hundred and enough all the