The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-06-08
A DREADFUL BLUNDER
Caused by Brilliant Idea and a
Butchers Boy.

"Reginald, said my uncle Jupp-a name
that always set my teeth on edge-''you are
a fool; good-loolIing one, it is true, but an
arrant fool. You have a perfectly unequalcd
facility for making mess of every thing
you are set to do, and therefore you must
take the only course which, so far as l can
Sec will enable you to exist as a good look
ing fool, and marry girl with money
Mr.. Jupp made this flattering speech in
his city counting house, when his clerks had
all disappeared for what they considered
worth calling dinner, and the eminent tai
low merchant was alone with his nephew.
Uncle Jupp had "a shrewish wife and
couple of children, % portcntiously ugly
pair, who, of course, would inherit his
money. He was not bad sort of man,
though his brutal rudeness in addressing
me was invariable. His checks, however,
somewhat softened it. But he was of an
irritable temper, and of city notions. |, on
the contrary, was essentially only happy on
the sweet shady side of Pail Mall, having
West End tastes and proclivitics which
would have been fttingly mated with my
uncle'S cash.
you've tried Sandhurst; and were igno-
miniously plucled you never had brains
for the bar; you tried civil engineering, and
pretty premium paid Orbit & Wheeler,
till at length they cancelled your articles as
YOU were de1noralizing the Office bv YOUR
idleness; you tried this Office, and made
nothing of the books but blots; YOU couldn't
even keep the secretarvship of the Picked
Onions Supply Associations nice little
thing which any dutfer who could write
formal letter could have held. Why, old
Mango, the Chairman. nv old chum. said
even for me they couldn't any longer keep
congenial idiot in the berth. Nobody
knows the bother you've been to me; you do
nothing but get into debt-eXcept play bill
iiards-and even then you're always making
hash of it."
My uncle kept on grumbling to himself as
he looked over his letters, and at last, turn
ing round on his stool, he eyed me for mo-
mcnt frowningly Then he began again,
and with an evident relish for his task.
you'll have to live on that 600 a year
your poor mother left you" q shuddered)
:'unless YOU can increase it. Ican't go on al
lowing you an income to frittor away. I've
many calls on my means" (the ordinary
formula of all Extensively rich people,, land
I've paid a great deal of money for you
Master Reginald. You're lazy and extrava-
CANT, naturally, and by long practice mag
nificpnt blunderer Indeed, if it be possible
TO make null of any thing you're the man
DO do it."
ayes, i" said nv uncle. as if he really liked
khe taste of the words, you're law. stupid
spendthrift, a nincompoop and blunder,
ar, and YOU certainly act, so far as have
seen. nm to each of those charoctcrs most.
consistently. But there is no doubt Won are
yood- Hooking Your father didn't rive Won
,
nv poor sister, or she'd never have married
him. but he gave YOU q fine namcr G,ester-
kew certainly sounds better than .Junn when
Won haven't a banking account that is(
land he was q handsome man ~ nd vou,re
as 7 said. n handsome fool. Now that,s
uvbcro von,. chance 10 Thern ore MONT, of
Main GIRLS with money who don,t ,ront a
husband with brains-a barbor,s dumnv
that could thinner as vol, do, Offensive old
brnte. even the nrosnect of n loo, hardly
COMPENSATED for this sort of nnrsonaIitvi.
..ard therefore III once moro do somctbin q, ,
for Won Rut this is really the Iast tiroe nj
lend Won money cnouob To cut a Good fiorrro
at Coyos where there are some nooneyod
vninstors l,no,v for INV old friand PIN
he a bopeo tbore now hos ro+i,nd uo,u
nut Won nm N como GOOD +binrs No,,o,.
mind age or 1oolxe-caeb ie tho thino Tbon
yon,Tl he provided for Won rco,ire q Vito
h icon Won. Won navar could Loo,, a Wiz,
and Won amt worth vonr salt at anv sort of
occnnation nnless II were as a shonwaIIrer
and then vou,d send the ladies' to the WRONG
5enartments So do as Itell Won. 90 down
ho-morroyv. pu give Won the check for ex.
penses noy.n 70. delightful wordsN ~
shall call at YOUR lodgings tomorrow and
nav YOUR rent. tell YOUR landlady. and any