The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1889-12-03
THE PROXLER
Discovers Why a Few Sedalians
We're Thankful and PrOwlS
Into Other Matters.

success attending his investigation of
ting ten commandments started out
Friday to discover if possible what
few Sedaiians had been thankful for
on Thanksgiving Day. Meeting DIR.
Fleischman that gentleman said:
"Weli | was thankful that | have
the best drug store in the country
and that the business prospect for the
coming year is fine"
Mayor Crawford: That turkey would
! for one day drive cows out of the
pubic minds.
j. Nj. Offisll: That the weather
had made it possible for man TO
take HE sweetheart buggy riding until
nearly the last of November.
Superintendent of telegraph. l.. +.
Sheldon: That 3 man could put
salt and electricity aside one day in
the year and dine out like any other
Christian gentleman.
p. HI. Sangree: That the Cronin
case is nearing the end and man
won't have to stay up all night much
longer for the sake of reading the
proceedings.
w. E. Bard: That there's no law
agin man marrying the second time
and that hereafter church socials WON'T
have II he borne alone.
w. ID. Fellows: That a man sui
fering with the govt iu Sedalia has
plenty of sympathizers.
Frank Easily: That the price OF
cradles remains steady.
A school teacher That il nothing
happens somebody else will teach in
No. - next year.
w. III. Ramsey: That the hen
turkeys did not do their duty this
year and in consequence turkey meat
sold high.
John B Jaynes That mar who
can down all competitors in raising
whiskers has the laugh on the moon
faced fellows who get left in this re-
specf.
DR.. Wilson Carr: That the recent
discoveries of the health giving prop
critics of the oxygen treatment have
given it a decided boom.
Capt. L. l.. Bridges That there is
no harm in kissing if the girl is will
ling.
VIII Huffman That his baby
continues to look like its ''pa."
ID. III. Smith That Arkansaw
lumber is still in demand.
Superintendent Smith: That the
Sedalia schools are in fine trim. for a |
free country and a progressive west.
Joe Peiiter That the weather is |
too cold for business men to ask him
to turn himself into circus for their |
benefit.
Frank Shultz: That the burglar |
who entered his store took only what
he needed instead of what he could |
get.
Rev. b. +. Boiler That Rev.
Bushnell Is waxing up the sinners of
Sedalis Ia great shape
. J. w. Truxe! /: That the post
Office persimmon is slmOst ripe enough
to pull.
w. III. Messerly: That his wife
had not vet discovered that married
men have no rights in Missouri.
A father That his boy don't ap-
pear to think that he knows more at
seventeen than the old man does at
forty-eight.
Ex-Conductor Hungerford That
conductors are not the only officials in
the railway service who are decapitat-
ed.
A boarding house keeper rha,
the Thanksgiving "en tap" Thanks
giving evening prevented her board.
ers from eating square meal
Thanksgiving day and there will be
enough turkey left 10 make hash for
the next two weeks.
Charles Gibson That there's no
reason why a man should not marry
if he feels inclined and "Barkis is
willin'".
The Prowler was thankful that a
certain publication had gwen him so
much free advertising and that he had
enough cranberry sauce, turkey and
other things to warm the cookies of|
his heart as well as comfort his "in-
nerds" and he hopes all his readers
were thankful for similar, or per-
maps better reasons.
| 4
The Prowler happened in" at the
\. NJ. &. A. reception a few nights
ago and his eyes were almost dazzled
Dy the brilliant array of pumpkin
pies" which he saw there. They |