The morning news., 1889-02-18
BRIGHT BITS.

We do not know much about the ancient
Egyptians, perhaps, but the grand old Sphinx
with its silent woman's head shows that they
were sarcastic people.-J0urndL of Educd-
tiOn
THERE is no more sense in hating a man be-
cause he is rich, than there would be in loving
one because he is poor. Girls understand this
sort of thing better than hoodlums. Or
teams Pjcdyure
MoTHER-Bobby, you shouldn't speak so
Grossly to your father. You never hear him
speak GROSSLY to me
Bobby-He dassent, ma; he's just like me
ne dassent.-Ihe Epoch
BEFORE AND AFTER Bride-Darling please
put your lips to my tea Twill sweeten it,
Wife 0en years later)-My teas too hot.
WI liam; please look at it moment i-Cincin-
ndu Commercial Gazette.
A CURIOSITY Polite Clerk Showing goods
Here is something would like to call your a.
tentton to, lady. It's the very latest thing out
Mrs. Rounder (absently)-If there's anything
out later than my husband I'll take it. il only
Tor curioslty.-L{fe.
ACCIDENTS WILL HAPPEN-Miss GUshington-
admit, Arthur, that tins is not the first time [
have been engaged, but I'm sure your noble.
generous heart
Little Brother Sis, the baby's got your bag
OF engagement riugs.-Nel0 York WeekLH
THE BoULANGER MAKE UP.-Gen. Boulanger-
have changed my mind about getting a di-
vorce from you
Mrs. Boulanger-And why?
Il hear that person named Napoleon got di-
vorced from his wife and people are comparing
him with me do not wish to follow the ex-
ample of so unimportant an individual -NeIu
York Weekly.
NOT THE KIND OF A CHARM He WAS AFTER
Northern Gentleman who has been reading on
the subject of vOudooism among the coiored
people, and thinks he will make a little original
research)-JaSper, do any of your people carry
charms about them for protection?
JasPer-Oh yes, sab; but nebbear hear dem
call charms fore; more ginerally call dem
razors, sah.-Hdrper'S Bdzdr.
THE PRESS AND THE PRfzE RING.-A-T think
the authorities ought to shut down on this dis
graceful prize fighting
B.-You are right; but in my opinion the
newspapers are to blame for publishing all the
details of the fights.
'''Ere's your Daily Ne,rs! All about the
fight between Bill the Kid and Mike McDooli.
ham shouted a newsboy
A. and B. (simultaneously)-Her bow lemme
| have one of them papers.-TerdS Siftinqs
The President ELECr-Lige, between QUAY
and the rest Of the state bosses there is only
one place in the Cabinet left for me to fill.
Private Secretary (groaning)-True; too too
true, sire.
Il was Just wondering how it would do to
give that last portfolio to Sambo He has been
afaithful servant to me for years"
"Ahl Good idea! It'll tickle the colored
vote
We'll, Lige, wasn't thinking of that-but l
really would like to have one man in my cabi-
| net that could have some influence with -
Philadelphia Record
In HIS NEW BOOK on America Max ORell
states that in America young girls propose to
men that take their fancy, ladies wear low
| neck dresses in the afternoon, and spittoons are
to be found in every room" He should have
added that in our churches collections are TAX
en- up by highwaymen armed to the teeth, that
when twins are born the parents play poker to
decide which to keep and which to drown in
the family waShtub. and that it is safe for a
Frenchman to cross Boston Common in broad
daylight while the North American Indians of
the vicinage are joining the students of Har-
ward College in scientific Investigations at the
bar of the Parker house.-ChicdOO Times.