Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-01-31

'sMr Bowser. what on earth ails
your" demanded.
s1Where have you been?" ss. $.
Down stairs after the paregoric."
ibid you upset chair?"
eyes. I do believe you thought
burglars were in the house. and you
got up and hid behind the door.
'.You believe that. do you?'' he
shouted, as he bravely walked around
and looked over the banister.
well, there Is something very
queer about it.
..xrs. Bowser," he said, coming back
to me, ''you have cast reflections on
my personal courage! Your object Is
to humble me! You knew was after
my revolver, but You chose to cast a
slur where another would have praised.
l was thinking Of diamonds for your
Christmas presents. shall think, no
more You won't even get a hair-pin
from met"
Three or four weeks passed away,
and one evening he came home with
couple of tickets for the theater and
insisted that we go. We went He
did not like the play; somebody stole
his gloves, and we missed the last car
and had to walk a mile and half. He
restrained himself for the first half
mile. and then the explosion had to
explode.
MRS. Bowser," he began, ''this is
the last time you will ever make fool
of metz ... fa I'D
II
Ozone! Didn't you drag me off to
the theater and. bring this result
about?"
mo. SIR twas you who first sug-
gested our going" ~
t.It was. eh? That remark settles
you, Mrs. Bowser. / was thinking of
a pair of bracelets and a sealskln
sacque for Christmas, but shall think
no more mo moro! If you get even a
paper of pins you may be thankful. -
About the first of December Mr..
Bowser went down cellar one evening
after a scuttle of coal. On coming up
one ear of the bail gave way and upset
the scuttle. and Mr.. Bowser was
thrown off his balance and went to the
foot of the stairs Twas in the second
story and knew nothing of the mishap
until he came hmping up stairs and
shouted:
: why didn't you tell me that ear
was lOOse?"
Because didn't know it."
g 'sNo, you didn't know it because you
haven't the least interest in what goes
on about this house! Here I've gone
and almost killed myself on account of
your carelessness!" %
''Im very sorry" A.
'Oh, yes. I presume so, but that
won't count. Don't expect any Christ
mas gift from me, Mrs. Bowser-not
one--for you won't get even a shoe
string!'
A week before Christmas Mr.. Bow
ser suddenly flung down his paper one
evening and ran to the back door to
count the strokes of q fire alarm. He
was in a rush. and there was ice on
the steps, and the result was he got
tumble which tore his coat, emptied
his pockets and skinned his shanks.
He didn't say a word, much to my sur
prise, until he got back into the house
and looked to see if all the doors were
closed. Then he stood before me and
sternly said:
Il believe that was plot to kill me
"Pshaw. Mr.. Bowserr' 81
"Oh. you can .pshaw,' and 'pshaw,'
until doomsday, but know what
know. You knew that ice was there
and you knew l would meet with a
fall"
did ring that fire bell?"
''Did you try to stop me as I went
outp had looked around little to
see about q watch for a Christmas gift.
but this settles it. Don't expect any
thing from me, Mrs. Bowser."
And yet Santa Claus brought me lots
of nice gifts, and Mr.. Bowser was as
happy as anyone in the house over the
fact. Indeed. he put his arm around
| me and sad:
cpd like to have bought lot of
other things. but money is a bit tight
;ast now, you know.
{ The dear old soul! but I wonder
| what sort of a club he is going to hold
lover me from now to the Fourth OF
| July!-DetrOit Free Press.
| How much will you give me on
this overcoat?" asked a seedy-looking
man of the functionary in the pawn
brokers' shop. Fifty CENTS" was the
reply that followed glance at the