The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1889-12-15
THE MIssTRELs

"And now, - said the cosored preacher
s'Iet as pray for the people on the nninhab-
tied portion Of the earth
There must be 8 red-headed girl in the
Cronin trial some where, for the white horse
is prominently figuring therein.
Town Topics: Miss Titsivape tcoyiy)-
You see marriage is sucn lottery.
Mr.. Haphaxard-Im just match you for
luck.
spiritu6list-I have related my wonderful
experience; upon what theory can you ex-
plain it7
skepsic-Upon the theory that you are a
har.-7hs Sam.
Jcnes--I wonder why Pinfeather doesn't
go into poliiics7
smith-Did you ever know man who
takes bath every morning 20 SO into poll
The Burlington Fred Press
Little Girl (fearfully Mamma, when are
the Indians coming ont
Motber-Hush, dear; there are 40 Indiens.
Little Giri-Then who scalped all the men
in the front seats 2--Nee York Sssn-
Big Calf (vainly l-Ges out OF my way. or
I'll step on you. isu're nobody. Barnyard
fowl thaughtily iii you coula hear folks
grumbie when they find veal in chicken
salad you'd change your tune.--se1s
Pork Weekly.
Moiie (who has just poured a glass OF
milk over her new dressf- Yon viii catch
il papa just as soon as mamma comes home.
but MoIlie, you spilled the mix over
yourself Yes, bur you viii catch 1t for
not taking better care OF me. - Life.
Jones TO fat friend Do you wax much ?
Fat Friend--Well, should say so. ex-
pect TO lose twenty-five pounds.
Jones-Good idea. The more you lose
the more youth gain. Is far as personal ex
perience is concentrations S.ftings.
Mr.. Smart tas the chnrch-gcers passl:
I'm surprised that Miss Sweet permits
Bodworth to accompany her. He's about
the freshest young fellow ! know. Mrs.
Smart-Perhaps that's the reason why
she lets him carry her Psalter.-Bostoa
Tines.
He Meant Well: Miss Jones--I'm glad
you like my Lew photographs, Major
Simpson. Major Sch, they're capital.
But you know, the man you ought 70 go 70
is Delespane; he's got wonderful knack
of making quite plain face look almost
beauiiful--Jtsdgc
1t is comparatively easy for us in the
nineteenth century to take pride in our an
cestry. Colored shirts with khite collars,
cheap amateur photography, bob-tail dress
coats, and the habit of calling trousers
pants" are all Inventions OF the present
generation Puck.
Mrs. skinnphiint-Josiah, don't You
think Johnny's hair needs eutting9 Mr..
Skinnphlint docking up fron his paper
How long is il till Christmas9 About
four seeks.r lResuming his paperl-. All
right. ia give him haircut for Christ
mas present.--CAicaeo Tribune.
Mr. Dumont--How's this. Maria? /
gave you money TO Buy = new hat and
you've made over your old one. Mrs.
Damont (smiling|-Yes and I've made
over SIS also by the operatiou.-Rlck.
THE hustle is & thing of the past" says
fashion exchange. II always was little
behind BiasAamptoa Republican,.
Mrs. Blinks--See here. Mr.. B., thought
you said you had been duck shooting.
Mr.. Binks-Yes, m'dear. been duck (hic)
shooting.
But these ducks you brought home are
TAME ducks
Yes, m'dear. tanned EN- after (hie)
shot EN- Men York Weekly.
Lady Ito herself in the eet)--"w What q
nice looking man He is following mel
will see II he il gallant. (She drops a very
CO siy lace hsndkerchief,) Actually he has
| picked il up.
The fne-iooking man, = sharper, dis
appears with his booty around the FIRST cor
1 ner.-San Euaciso5 Wasp.
| A fond mother had 3 favorite son who
was terror TO the neighhorhood. A gem
| tleaan entered her house with = large
/ hruise on her forehead. Madam" he
/ said, "a boy who ana told is your son has
/ Just thrown q stone az me, causing this
/ painful wound. What is going TO be done
/ about it, madam - II don know. Have
/ you tried arnica?''
! In Italy. American Traveler--T IA in .
/ SAD fx, Hendrix. For heavens sake help
me Quit FTiend-What's the matter ?
/ American Trsveler--The bTigands yesser-
| aay carried Of my wife and the Pug dog.
+ Friend-w e.. but ism that your wife over
or the hotel steps, American Traveller
/ Yes, they released her, but they are hold.
/ Ing the Pug dog for ransom.--E ysgsk
Lsslis'A
( Getting Down 70 Fine Poiat-Smythe--
/ solomon. have you heard the ne~s7
! solomon Cohen-Vot news my vrieut9
smythe-TAey say burglars got into your
( store last night and stole twenty pairs OF
+ pAnts
Solomon--yell, I'm glAt of IL.
/ smythe--Glad q III whv9
Solomon non'f git Il Avay We are sell.
ing pants so low noE dot II vas money in
cur pockets ii burglars come IN and steals
EN-
! Back Tan etpert stenegrApherk-Sav
+ Green the boz srem tie Jossrnal ogsee i
here after tie Transcripts OF that teEa per anea
lecture l. il most snishedf
Green "a noviceA All but AShert sentence
/ in S6aat the middle 0f il. and Iii he hanged
/ II can make oat from nv notes what il i
/ Bgsek-Jast insert great applause, and
! les Il 60
Green acts upoa the suggestion. and the
lecture Is sent 20 The 5asrwai offlcs for . b
lcssion with see aeesor~d part reaasnx
'Frisnds. VII dstAin yOa hata fex mo
meats loaEeE. tGresf spalanse.p'
D01 FxpRo WILL YIsTT SEATTLE