davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28
JOCUND JOTTINGS.

IN @ good speech there are two important things. One is the beginning and the other Is the end. The nearer the beginning is to the end. as general thing, the better and more satisfactory the speech.
 "SAY, mister, is there g circus here to- day?" ''No, what made you think so?" "Ain't them clowns comin' up the streetl" ''Thosea:Wh they areithe students in lawn tennis suits"
 not only scared every crow that saw it, but one crow was SO frightened that he brought back the corn he had carried to his nest three days before.
 FIRST BOSTON GIRL-"Got any pickles in your pocketl" Second Boston Girl-"Yes, and some gum" First Boston Girl-''That's all right. I've got some cold beans and two slate pencils. Let's lunch"
 WHEN dog gets after rabbit he makes the hare fly. Sometimes, when woman gets after her derelict husband she, too, makes the hair fly. And when mother finds her only son at the jam she also makes the heir fly.
 CONDUCTOR - Here, my good fellow l Don't you know that if you pull that strap in the middle you will ring both bells." Mike-"Faith, an Oi know that as well as yerseH. But it's both ends of the car l want ter stop"
 THEY say the patient waiter is no loser That depends on whether he has any thing in his apple-cart to lose or gain, or whether he wears a white apron in g restaurant. It also depends on whether 1t Is sit-down or stand-up waiting.
 WIFE OF AUfHoR-s'Don't disturb my husband. He is in the midst of critical scene" Visitor-'Is he at work on g crit ical scene in his new comedyi" ''No; it's worse than that. His landlord is talking to him about the back rent"
 CITY MAN-ssI should think that you would find life here very dreary." Villager- "Herei I can assure you this Is pretty lively place for its size" "I should not suppose from the looks of things any thing ever happened here." ''That's where you're mistaken. Why, it ain't two weeks since we had an eclipse of the moon."
 "MY wife is the most ingenious woman who ever lived," said Jones. ''I believe you," returned Smith, politely. "But you don't know why you believe me" intimated Jones. ''To tell the truth, don't" replied Smith, looking bored. "W ell, I'll tell you. We've been married twelve years, and lived in the same house all the time; and this morning she found 8 new place to hids ny slippers.n
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28
TYPHOID FEVER.

Apropos of the recent typhoid fever epidemic at Yale college the New Haven Register declares that the disease is one of which little or nothing is known by the sanitarians. Tho great predisposing cause of typhoid fever is age. Of 13O cases that were studied by Louis, who 50 years ago-frst scientifically inves- tigated this disease, only 10 of the whole number were over 30 years of age 45 were between 14 and 20 years and 59 between 20 and % years. These observa- tions of Louis have been repeatedly con- firmed by subsequent students of the disease.
 There is no proof that bad plumbing or polluted water, or contaminated soil, or cesspools, or sewers, or privies, or wells, or filth in any form have anything to do with the production of typhoid fever. In fact the proof is all the other way.
 Typhoid fever is probably epidemic all over thel world. It prevails at the level of the sea fn sparsely and in dense- ly populated places; it also occurs on the summits and in the solititudes of lofty mountains where there can be no suspicion of contaminated air, water or soil. The twaddle of the professional sanitarians on the subject is ridiculous; it is exasperating when we think they strive to compensate themselves for this twaddle at the public expense.
 A year ago rather sharp epidemic of typhoid appeared in New York city in the vicinity of Fifth and Madison aven- ues. The sanitarians were ready to tell the cause; they had not the face to charge the people who were suffering in that fashionable neighborhood with being filthy, so they said they had con- tracted the disease from the dirty we'll m the country towns where they had summered, though there was nothing to show that these country towns had been afflicted with typhoid. The sani- tarians were careful to explain why the disease had not broken out before the return to the city; it had been incuba- ting, they said, in the system. The words were hardly out of their mouths before it was shown that people had It who had not been out of the city at all; these, the sanitarians said. had received it from those who had been in the country, though why it should take from eight to twelve weeks in one case to 'sincubate," and in the other no appreciable period of time they disdained to consider. They shuffi- ed about from one point to another as they were cornered, and at last fell back on the Hudson river ice, which they said contained the germs of the disease from the up river towns. They were met here by the objection that the peo- pie all around the infected district had been eating this ice all summer and were unharmed. By this time the epidemic had subsided and people who had given the subject attention were convinced that those who did not know anything about the causes of typhoid fever were the professional sanitarians
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28

THF Philadelphia Bulletin republi- can paper, charges that officers of the department of agriculture have not only been corruptly influenced to issue ad- vance copies of the crop reports to speculators, but have fixed them to suit the purpose of few prominent opera tors on the exchange.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28
M ERlDEN, WATERBURY x CONNErTIc1 u, M RIVER RAILROAD, '-'i-> 'o' l

M ERlDEN, WATERBURY x CONNEfT,c1 u, WI RIVER RAILROAD 'o' l
 IN EFFECT SEPTEMsER IS, 1sS9
 FROM WATERBURY TO CROMWELL LeaHe Waterbury, New England station, e:55 am Leave Waterbury, Dublin street, 500 a. m. o1o am; 1:1o, 4:47, #7:O7 p. m ''' Leave Merlden, $50 a. m., 1:57, 5:45 D. m,
 FROM CROMWELL TO WATERBURY. Leave 1ea,, cromwell, 6:3O a. m., 1918, 4:a0pm 1251, 500, 6:s5 D. m '''~' '~0 (" Ill., Arriye at Dublin street, 7:4O o.11 a, m. 1855 $50 T:33 D. IVY ~ N'o o.'o' ArrlVes Waterbury, N. E. station 7:55, 1O:a6 a. m 7:52 D. m. -'' "i'o "' \, All tralns arrive at and leave West Main street
 CHAS. Nj. CRAWFORD, Supt.
 Mcriden Conn
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28

MRS HARRISON says she does not want her husband to receive second term of the presidency. She need not worry about that.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28
To Fl8tterY.

To F1attery. Base thing I deemed mo proof against thy wiles, Have not over met with frown thy smiles! In new disguise thou earnest evermore, Nor once deceived these eyes that looked thee per. had not thought thou could st como in a shape To make me for thy sweet confectons gape. am woman-cenSeQuently strong; poet, and not easily impressed tAt least by any thing save mine own song, Which perforco seems, of all songs sung, the besD. But ah! mine hour had come. One mortal found Tn Achillean spot, and pride lies all uncrowned And yet think not fell an easy prey. turned me from the tempter's side away, And strove to woo a look of stern disdain, But grieve to own the effort was in vain A blushful bride was and newly we'd A housewife, and-alas! she praised my bread Amy Lochevern, in Chicago Inter Ocean.
 To Those Who Fail. It was autumn, and the reaperS
 Laughed and sang a glad refrain, AS the gipened fruits they gathered,
 And the plenteous golden grain. Ev'ry plot, save one, had yielded
 Rich rewards for months of toil Here alone dead leaves and flowrets,
 And dry stalks bestrewed the soil. 1oEo one WalkeO WnOSo IOrm was DenOtAS'
 Meath weight of grief and years, And he watered the dead blossoms
 With Q rain of scaldirg tears. '.Dotardr' thus bespake the others,
 .Look, the Master draweth nigh; When He sees your wasted garden,
 He will cast you forth to die.' 'Nay, not so," the Master answered,
 'sHe has worked thro sun and showerS Not like you, for praise and lucre,
 But for pure love of my flowers. Aged one, the roots are living
 Of the flowers you mourn as dead, And the seeds you now arc seeking
 Have by winds afar been shed. T have watched you, ever toiling, iUnreQnited and oppressed Come to me, and in my mansion
 Twill give you peace and rest" Ohi think our Heavenly Master
 Will pronounce like words of cheer Unto many who have striven
 Vainly, toward grand ideals, here Mary M. Mccarthy, in Springfield Repus lfcan =
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28
TWO QUEER EPITAPHS.

Characteristic Inscriptions on Couple of
 Colorado Graye-Stones. "1 have read of a great many strange cpl taphs and seen some of them," said trav- eler to the Coffee of the Omaha Republican, sbut there are few ill the cemetery at Manitou, in Colorado, which arc more re- marlSable and more humorous (for there is a certain humor about the dead in this ri- diculous world) than any thing have ever read or seen. Scattered about this ceme- tery are quite a number of slabs of boards, painted white ard lettered by one hand presumably that Of a sexton or some public official upon whom the duty of buryiug ard commemoratilg the friendless dead had fallen. This official was in his way the mas ter of style. Here is the first specimen ,f his liter ture that meets the eye of ight-seey
 "fwas
 Shot
 Dead
 for
 Burglery
 May %, 1sS' 'In what year between 1880 and 1889 the 7 unfortunate 'burgler' was shot does not ape pear, because there was not room on the board for moro than the three figures There is perhaps a certain fitness in forcina 8 criminal to confess his crimes throu ghout the years on post-mortem monument but ther' is grimness which is almost inhuman nx' ,therrecital:
 "'Wm
 Stout
 was
 Buried
 in well
 45 feet deep
 Coroner Davis
 dug me out | "lt may be possible that Coroner Dav;a paid the sexton something for this unique advertisement, which at cnce records his profession and his industry as digger, but one reads the corpse's narrative of his aw- ful fate with strange sense of suffocationn
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28

THE pump handle will play an i'm. pertant part in the proposed milk trust.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28

MIR PARNELL is in better health and will take an active part in parliament at the coming session.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28
FIRE ALARM,

FIRE R ALARM,
 LIST OF FIRE ALARM BOXES. Corner Willow Vest Main.
 6 Exchange Place.
 IA East Main and W Wc stt Road 15 Corner Cherry az East Main, 2l Horse Railroad Stable (private). 2s Iron Bridge, West Main. "A Waterbury Brass Co. (private) 25 Corner Johnson and Wateryille .0 Corner Prospect and Grove p Junction North Main, Grove and North ri, 2S Waterbury Mfg Co., B Corner Washington and South Main 34 Waterbury Buckle Co., 5 Benedict $ Burnham Mfg. Go. S6 Waterbury Watch Co (private.) ae Corner Grand and South Man 42 Corner Union and Franklin. 43 Scoyill Mfg Co. (private) 45 Corner Clay and Mill 46 No. Hose House, Baldwin. 47 Corner Dublin Street and ittl. Alloy 312 Corner Meadow and Bank Sl4 Corner Meadow and Cedar street. osl flume x Atwood Mfg Co. (private1 Ssa Holmes, Booth & Haydens, (prvate1 324 No. Hose House. eSo corner Slmons and Burnham streets.
 INSTRUCTIONS TO KEY HOLDERS
 TO give an alarm, open the door, pull the hoo. ooWn once and let go then close the door. Do not pull the hook if the fire bell or small arr, m the box Is striking, that indicates an alIIh. has already been given 'A 'i''oe De particular to remain at the box until the ar Ta i reea ef an officer th Of the Fire Department wno permit remaining, then the proper officer will r.. turn the Key to the holder as soon as convenen,
 OI Ivaf fhn f~e fire ~ o ooA 'e'ifeSt lh'
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28

Delivered by carrier to any part of the city or sent by mail at the following rates:
 One Year. $5. % Three Months. 1.25 Six Months 2.5O One Month. .. 4so
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28
God Knew the Rest.

God Knew the Best. Sometime, when all life's lessons have beeA learned, And sun and stars forevermore have set, The things which our weak judgment here has spurhed The things o'er which grieved with lashes wet, Will flash before us, out of life'S dark night, As stars shine most in deeper tints of blue; And we shall see how all Gods plans were right And how what seemed reproof was lovc most true. But not to-day. Then be content, poor heart! Gods plans, like lilies, pure and white, un- fold. We must not tear the close-shut leaves apart; Time will reveal the calyxes of gold. And if, through patient toll, we reach tho land Where tired feet, with sandals loose, may rest, When we shall clearly know and understand, think that we will say: God knew the best"
 N Y ESamper
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28
Maurice F. Carmodv,
 INSURANCE AGENCY.

Il. J. F1nn's Shoe store,llS Ea.t Main q. Fkst+class Insurance at Reasonable Rates
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28
Fulton Christopher,

MERCHANT -:- TAILOR
 FRANK '. MRAZIK, CUTTER, 17 Phoenix Avenue,
 All the latest fall styles ready. Firstclass goods guaxanteed and ct saving of 25 per cent Give mo neal. "
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28

Tho Tale of a Fish, Youth and maiden IDa boat, On a lakelet Flirt ard float. Maiden thinks tho Water cool, Puts hand in it, Little fool! From her finger Heedless thing Loses handsome Diamond ring. Maiden frantic Tears her hair, Youth, disgusted, Wants to swear.I
  Youth next morning Fishing goes; Rod, line, bottle, Rubber clothes. Tanks fish from Out the tide; Feels big lump in Fish's side. Wonders if the Scaly thing Could have swallowed Darling's ring. So, with great ex- Citement rife, Cuts fish open Big jack-knifo- Mystery to Thus unravel. DiamondP No; Q Bit of gravel.
 Judge
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28

The Constant Bankrupt. Gro AN INCoSsTANT SUMMER GIRL) Osummer girl, o summer girl, Thcse many days Two loved you; I've cast upon thee many pearl Whose worth would sure have glovcd you. I've bought enough ,ce-crcam for you To sate Q whole hotel ma'am: I've sent sufficient sweets to you To stop the oceans swell ma'am. I've spent enough in wagon hire To clothe myself two seasons, And of your prattle did rot tire Fer most apparent reasons. But now, when autumn has returned, By you whom once trusted, I find myself unhappy spurned, Because, alas! I'm busted. O summer girl. you've done me wrong; But I'll not seek tho court, Jam; And since in wealth I've loved you long, Bankrupt I'll love you short, ma'am Carlyle Smith, in Harpers BazaI
 A Foolish Text. "Love thy neighbor as thyself?' What foolish preacher! Thou art dearer than myself,
 Neighbor, sweetheart, teacher. None is equal to myself,
 Thou art far above mo. And dare not ask myself
 Would she stoop to love me?'' None love except thyself-
 Kneel in awe before thee And only hate myself
 That I'm all unworthy. Love thy nefshbor as thyselfv' Parsons lost his labor, Fool I'd be to love myself
 AS love my neighbor
 Wilson K. Welsh, in Life.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-10-28
SELECT SLIPS OF VERSE
Happiness.

Happiness. Erewhile, when w2s young and glad With girlhoods g!adness, fleet and free, When all the h.lis of life were clad With light and love and mystery The grandanes ga.cd and shook the head. They passed with footsteps slant and slov "See she Is happyW soft they said; Ut is her future makes her sol" The days move onward to tho close The joyous days, the blessed days: know the frost is on the rose, Yet light and gladness fill tho ways. Now, when tho ma.deIs loter by, With sweet surprise their faces glow: 'Sec she Is happy!" soft they sigh; 'sIt is the past that makes her sor' -I Whipplc Benham, in Youths Companion
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15

IT is evident that Europe is astonished
at the developments of the last few weeks
in America. Europe beholds the entire
nation rising up in horror and protesting
against the associations which conspire for
political ends of foreign concern, to do and
to cover up murder. This exhibition as
tonishes Europe, because the sentiment for
home rule has been SO pronounced in the
United States initssympathy with the Irish
agjtators. But the old world IS learning
that, while the liberation of the American
people may permit the Irish to cultivate a
sentiment in this country favorable to
Paruellites, or home rule in Ireland, it will
not for an instant countenance agrarian
outrages and the methods of the assassin ;
nor viii it silently consent TO the work of
associations that seek foreign political ends
through the methods of the assassin.
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15

The RECORD UNION, SUNDAY UNION and
WEEKLY UNION are the only papers on The
Coast, outside Of San Francisco, that receice
sbe full associated Press dispatches from ali
parts Of the acorld. Outside Of San Francisco,
they haze no competitors either IN influence 0
home and general circulation throughout tho
State.
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15
Baseball --.Califorlia League !
Snowflake Park, Twenty eighth & R sts
Sunday june 10th,
At o'clock P. N. sharp.
SACRAMENTO VS.. STOCKTON.

A DMIs3ION-MEN, so CENTS: LADIES. 25
N cents; Boys, 10 cents; Reserved Seats. 25
cents. Can be obtained any time at H. c. Meg
erle's News Depot, Fourth street, betYeeen J
ana \, or at ParE before the game.
las. Stop at Third, Tenth, and Eighteenth sts,
Fare, round trip, 15c. Admission to Park, in
cluding fare both ways, 90 cents iel4-2t
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15

ii shall be placed upon an equality with
the A1sss1can lines. That is to say, that
the British road shall be permitted to tap
tne American lines for the transit trade
ard to divert and absorb out commerce.
The lack of reciprocal spirit on the part
of the Canadians is pointed out by the fact
that while Canada has shipped forty
millions of produce free into the territory
of the United States, she refuses to allow
us to ship the meager products of cur sea
fisheries across her territory duty free. 1t
will be evident to whoever studies ever
so little, the questions suggested by Mr..
Nimmo that the purpose of Canada in build
ing her transcontinental railway has been
to unite its sections, cultivate trade be-
tween them, establish rapid communica-
tion and thus augment strength, and to
| discourage trade with the United States,
and, in addition, to command the Oriental
business and do as much of American
| transcontinental traffic business belonging
10 the United States, as it can wrest from
US or brcwbeat US into granting. It has
already succeeded in diverting much OF
the trade of American cities from Ameri-
can lines of transportation. How much
more progress in that direction Canada
shall be permitted to make is for the
American people TO decide. If it is better
for the interests of our common country
that traffic originating in the United States
and TO be delivered in the United States
shall take a circuitous route through 2
foreign country, over a foreign line, and
pay tribute to foreign capital, then the
sooner we abandon our own system o
transportation the better.
Mr.. Nimmo's article, which We would
not undertake to sketch with any fullness
since it is so concise and trenchant that i
is not possible to outline it with satisfac
ton, contains some very startling facts and
amazing figures. 1t shows why the grea
English fortress in sight of our shores il
built in the North Pacific waters, anC
what the British officer meant when he
declared that the fortress holds pistol a
the head of San Francisco. He makes i
clear to the commonest understanding how
the Canadian company is cutting off ouI
Asiatic commerce, and putting chains upor
the wheels of the American competing
roads; how it is that Canada, with hel
i G,000000 population, is able to captur,
from the 60,000000 people of the United
States the largest part Of our Asiatic com
merce, and a goodly portion of our loca
traffic which we appear to be unable Il
adequately defend He makes more un
derstandable and lays bare the full mean
ing of the already frequently iteratet
phrase, "the Canadian Pacific is not rail
way; it is the Canadian Government or
wheels"
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15
SAN FRANCISCO AGENOIEs.

This paper is for sale at the following places:
L. p. Fishers, room u, Merchants Exchange
California street who is also sole Advertising
Agent for San Francisco; the principal News
Stands ana Hotels, and at the Market-street
Ferry.
Rs- Also for sale on all Trains leaving and
coSning into Sacramento.
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15
CutIoura Remedies

Cure every species of sgonizing, humiliatipg.
itching, burning, scsly and pimply diseases OF
the skin, scalp and blood with loss of hair, from
pimples TO scroiula, except possibly ichthyosis.
Sold everywhere. Price, CUTICURA SOC,
SOAR, 25c.; REsoLyENT, 81. Prepared by the PoT.
TER Drug AND CHEMICAL CORPORATION, Boston,
Ss>Send for " How to Cure Skin Diseases. /" "a
pages, SO illustrations, and 100 testimonials,
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15

Weather Indications for To-Day.
California-Fair westerly winds; slightly
cooler IN the interior, and nearly stationary
temperature along the coast.
Oregon and Washington Fair; variable winds;
slightly cooler.
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15

THE New Haven Nc,c8 has discovered a
new virtue in the secret ballot law-it dis
franchises the drunken man. It is well
that it does, No man should vote with
his understanding befuddIed by drink.
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15
NEW TO-DAY.

advertisements Of Meeting Notices, HG'lts, Lost,
Found, For Sale, To LIT and similar notices under
this head arc Inserted for cents per line the first
time and ccts per line each subsequent time. Al
notices Of this character 1ctl be found Ildr his
beGGirg
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15

How young soeVer you may ba,
With tal ing teeth, you re grim and old
Ana losing your mouths purity,
Your features seem both dun and cold,
Ihen man or maid, warned OF your fate,
seek SUZODONT e'er it's too late.
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15
THE WEEKLY UNION

sthe cheapest and most desirable Home News
and Literary Journal published on the Pacific
coast. The SUNDAY UNION is sent to every sub
scribeT to the WEEKLY UNION.
Terms for both one year. 90
The WEEKLY UNION alone per year.-........ so
The SUNDAY UNION alone per year-........... so
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15

THE New York Times can not "get over"
its discontinue because Of the defeat of
Mr.. Cleveland. Where out and out Demo-
cratic papers have accepted the situation,
and are giving General Harrison credit for
whatever he does that deserves it, the
Times is so rooted in its mugwumpery that
it can find no good in the administration.
Contending and protesting that it's an
independent" journal, it is increasingly
engaged in assaults that are Of the charac-
ter that distinguish the partisan news
paper, rather than the fair and high minded
critic. Here it is denouncing the Presi-
dent as "a spokesman" and reiterating the
charge daily. Yet this same paper not
long ago was driven, by the truth, to con-
fess that ''the Civil Service Commission,
for the first time in some years, seems to
be made up wholly of men who are earnest
il their desire and determination to have
the law fully and fairly executed" Inas-
much as President Harrison appointed the
Commission and with a special view to
their earnestness and devotions, it does not
seem that he is a spokesman
Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-06-15
burlington Route Excursions, via Denver
and Rio Grende Railway

IF afflicted with Sore Eyes use DIR. Isaac
TH0MPSON'S 5 EYE WATER, Sold at 25 cents Tvs