Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-01
MR.. AND MRS. B0WSER.
MR. B. is GENTLY ASKED TO MAKE A MUS
TARD PLASTER
BE Fails in an Emergency and is Paid Back IN bis
Own 0oln-Chancs that Mrs. B. May
Pick Ont Furniture and
Name Alimony.
Detroi, Free Press.

a mustard plaster. lie lay on the Droad
of his back, hands locked under his neck,
and was snoring as if he was hired to give
midnight performance on fog-horn.
"Eh! Yes" he growled as | nudged
him.
'AIr. Bowser, get up
"Yum! Lemme lone"
'AIr. Bowser, am in great pain"
eyes, know"
evil you get up:"
"Whaz the mazzer now" he demanded
as he tried to sit up in the bed.
Il am threatened with pleurisy."
Hey Who is it,"
81 am threaten ed with pleurisy, and |
do wish you would get up and mix a mus
tard plaster for me-"
.-Bosh!" he growled now fully awake.
''You just lie quiet and the pain will go
away.
He dropped back and began to snore
again. but after 10 minutes hard work
got him out Of bed. He sat on the edge,
staring blankly into vacancy, and ready
TO fall back at any moment, and even
while was telling him that | might not
live till morning he fell over, kicked him
self under the clothes, and went to sleep
while was pulling his hair.
A night or two later, just after the bells
had struck -, | dreamed that was be-
ing chased by g locomotive. 1t gave an
extra toot and awoke me. / discovered
that toot to be Mr.. Bowser's voice groan-
ing.
7For lands sake get up, or I shall be a
dead man."
"What is it,"
Terrible cramps in my stomach. Pm
Just tied in knot"
"Oh, it's only passing pain, replied
as sough my pillow again. Lie still and
it will soon go Off"
"Lie still thunder" he yelled, as he got
one leg out of bed. II tell you | shall be
a corpse within an hour if | don't get re-
lief"
"Well, you'll find the Jamaica ginger
on the sideboard. Take big dose Of it in
wine.
"PIl never find it Oh! Heavens, what
pain"
| wanted to get up, of course, but was
determined to pay him back in his own
coin. l therefore apparently fell asleep,
and, after banging around the room for a
few minutes he went out He was back
again in three minutes, however, to ex-
claim:
Are you going to lay there and let me
die like a sick horse:"
"But you didn't get up for me-"
Il know it, that was because Il
whoop Blue blazes, but know Pm dy-
ing
/ had to get up, of course, and, Of
course, had him relieved in a quarter of
an hour. Man-like, he was frightened to
death at pain which he would have ex-
pected me to keep perfectly still about.
Mr.. Bowser is also like all other hus
bands in another matter. We got started
for the theatre, the other night, and dis
covered that l had forgotten my opera
glasses. He offered to run back for them,
and said:
"They are hanging in the bag by the
gas jet on the left-hand side of our dress
err You can't fail to find them"
Five minutes slipped away-then 10
then l hurried back myself He was
seated in a chair in the hall, hat and over
coat Off, and as l opened the door he
growled:
Might as well take of your things
But Why"
eve are not going to any theatre this
night"
Not goingl Has anything happened"
II should say there had I've looked |
this Internal house from top to bottom
for those glasses, and they are not to be
found. Wen put in our evening trying |
to discover whether they are in the gar
ret or down in the vegetable cellar"
Mr.. Bowser, l told you where those
glasses were"
"They are not within 40 rods of it,"
Come up stairs"
''No USE If there even in your room
I'll buy you five million silk dresses"
"COme on"
He followed after, and there hung the
bag just where / told him he would find
it. | looked from one to the other, and
Mr. Bowser finally said:
81 see how it is. You'll probably say
you told me to look here, instead of in the
spare bedroom dresser Take off your
things, Mrs. Bowser-we don't stir a foot
outside tonight"
One night when baby was sick got Mr..
Bowser out of bed to get the paragoric.
After great deal of yawning and growl
ing he marched off down stairs, and for
the fifth time told him:
81 remembered to have placed it on that
bracket over the lounge"
/ heard him threshing around and
knocking about in the sitting room, rum
maging in the pantry and upsetting chairs
in the kitchen, and after about 10 minutes
appeared at the bottom of the stairs and
shouted.
'Tve looked the consumed house all
over and can't find it,"
II told you it was on the bracket
81 know you did, but it isn't therem
"Sure you have looked"
"Do you take me for an idiot?'
"Wel, III come down."
| went down, walked him to the bracket
and there sat the bottle before his eyes.
"But it wasn't there a minute ago." he
protested. II looked the bracket over at
least five times, and | know Pm not blind.
Mrs. Bowser, there are some queer hap
penings in this house. l think it best
that we sit down and have some straight
talk"
One day at noon he wanted me to tight
en- button on his overcoat, and sent
him up to my room for box of thread
and needles.
you'll find it on the sill of the bay
window, where left it half an hour ago."
| cautioned, as he went up stairs.
l heard him prancing and slamming
things about, and after seven or eight
minutes l went up to ascertain the cause
Of delay.
He had pulled every bereau drawer out,
taken down most Of the garments in the !
clothes press, and was then overhauling |
my jewelry case.
''pd like to know if there s another /
woman like you in Detroit?n he exclaimed |