The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-05-22
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

Rifle practice--Pocket picking.
Unredeemable bonds-Vagabonds.
Miss Fit isn't a very popular dress.
maker.
The Chinaman is a realist. He takes
his cue from nature.
Lots of people are inconsistent enough
to expect mule to have horse sense.
First impressions are everything, par.
ticularly when one is collecting engrav.
ings.
Any man can get his wife to take ac.
tive exercise by giving her enough money
to shop with.
1t IS easier for camel to get through
the eye of needle than for the savage tc
ge. through his need of an idol
Smith-"Jones, were you enlisted dur
ing the warW Jones-"No, but nv
sympathies were. ."-Burlington Free P,ee.
Why not abbreviate Alaska to L. s..
which whould sufficiently identify il as
the place of the seal2-Boston 7ranscriDt
A new broom sweeps clean, but il
doesn t sweep half as clean as a new hired
girl with an old broom. m.-Burlingtoa Ere,
Press.
The mining stock seller who let his
friend into the stock on "a ground floor
price had already got into the cellar
Ne1O Yorb Ne,cS.
The latest bit of Washington Territory
brag is that the climate is so fine that
wool grows even on hydraulic rams
Memphis AralaHcEe.
No one has ever yet been able to ex.
plain why kiss is such pleasant thing.
but the subject is being constantly invcs
tigated. .-DetyoH Free Press.
'Miss Bertha, l love youl VIII YOU be
mime" ''Ies certainly Why else wouk'
| have been going to cooking school fd
yearF'-FEegende Blaetter.
Tubbs-''I fatter myself that honest,
is printed on my face. ~ Gubbs-"Well-
er-yes, perhapS-with some allowance
for typographical errors. - Blrlinqto5
Free Press.
Artesian wells have no poetry and nc
romance in them. The moss-covered
bucket and the old oaken bucket, and
all that sort of thing disappeared when
the well became perfect bore e.-PicaD,,ue
The spring fashion in European wal
clouds presents small pattern of
lighter shade than last year, with bright
spots scattered here and there by waI
correspondents out Of a job. York
World.
Business Man (dejectedly)-'AIy dear,
/ M prtf cod t1,fs h,,,g, 10.
"Mortgaged-oh! How much2" Give
thousand dollars" ''Isn't that grand
Now you can get me that diamond neck
lace. Philadelphia R,cord. ~
Medical Examiner Gor insurance com.
pany)-"Iou appear to be in a very
weak, nervous, depressed physical con,
dition.' Applicant for Insurauce-''Yes.
your agents have been Ginning at me foi
six months. "-P Philadclphia Record.
Old Man Cat the head of the stairs al
2:3O A, M.)-"Susie, what time is itr
Susie with second look at Reginald, who
lOosens his grip)-"A few minutes past 10
papa Old Man-''Don't forget to start
the clock again when you go to bed. -
Wasp. -
III 'lold Nueh railroad Kills y
the natives pull up the track for miles.
boycott the trains. As a practical ne
yention of railroad accidents this plar
must be almost as effective as that of tyipe
director ON the cowcatcher. Soa,e,rW
JOVrHai.
Brown-'IIello, Robinson, ! though
You were trying in the musicale to-nightg
Robinson-'I just left there" Brown
"What made you leave so early?" Rob
mson-'A siNtcen-year-old young man is
trying 10 sing 'Larboard Watch, Ahoyr'
-EPoch.
Things chat o"e would rather not have
Mahlstick-"Do You know, Miss
Mannerby, that some Of my friends tell
me that am deteriorting in my paint
mg!" Miss Mannerby-"O Mr. Mahl
stick! Tnar1s quite impossible, ,"-Bostal
Transcript.
a Wise Doctor-'I see Just
what's the matter with you You need
something strengthening. Eat piateof
oatmeal, boiled, every morning for rfteak
fast Paticut-''I do, DOCTOR Doctor
equal 10 the occasion) Then leave it
off. 49, laEkso BlldA
Negotiations have been resumed with