Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-30

muzzled to prevent him from biting hot balls
in paroxysms of madness. The second and
third bases have to be carefully guarded 50
that they may not be stolen by opposing
players. I also learned, in discussing the
probable fate of the losing players, that
they are liable to terrible penalties. A gem
tleman, to whose courtesy am much in
debted for this reliable account, says that
they are sometimes jumped on with both
feet by the victorious players, and that
they then get in the soup
"Your Highness will not fail TO note the
demoralizing nature of the game in this
country, which processes to prohibit cruel
and unusual forms Of punishment, and the
possible results of its reintroduction in our
own happy land.
SOME ALARMING STATISTICS,
"The details Of the game are already in
the Imperial library, with other records of
that superstitious age, which the invention
ago, so that it is uniting that should de-
scribe it minutely.
ut only remains to tell of some of the evils
connected with it. 1t has been calculated
by eminent statisticians that crowd of peo-
pie at any ball game. say of 5000 persons,
will show 150 lawyers who have been sum
moned to court $50 physicians and sur
geons each called to an important consulta-
tion;' !, 900 clerks and boys delayed by horse
cars on their messages, or suffering from
excruciating bilious attacks and headaches
which require medical treatment at home;'
750 married men whose CLOSE attention to
business prevented their early return home;'
500 who had been summoned to a friends
sick bed, and 150 who had been compelled
to ask permission to bury their grand
parents. A curious feature of the specta-
tors benches is the frequent recognition by
a lawyer who has had AN important case in
court of his clerk who was compelled to
leave his work on account of sickness
"Happily, no one is really deceived. The
cranks have it all their own way. In
months time the whole nation will go on
vacation, the entire time being devoted to
seeing games or discussing those already
played or to come.
A WARNING TO CHINAMEE.
"Thus, o wise Mandarin of the yelloF
robe aud golden button, have placed thee
things be ore you, that the dreadful disease
may not be again permitted to spread
among the enlightened people Of the Flow
cry Kingdom, and your faithful slave
Graves permission to leave this land of dark
ness and return to the delights of the region
illumined by your wisdom"
The little Chinaman leaned back in his
chair, lit a cheroot and looked at me in q
very selt-satisfed way.
''Mr. Ho," said, 81 cannot do Justice to
your perspicacity and several other things.
But you have not explained why we go to
baseball matches and spend a sum equal to
your weekly salary to do so, not including
refreshments and several other ct ceteras."
Mr.. Ho smiled affably. .'Ask me bigger
conundlum next time. Because Mclean
man heap big fool"
This wasn't very fattering, but Hang Ho
evidently intended it as pleasant form of
adieu. I felt that there was more truth
than poetry in the remark, and my skill at
repartee failed me utterly. 1 reached. .he
laundry, gathered up my property and re-
tired in the best order possible.