The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1889-03-01
CHRONICLES.
[BY JOsEPHUs, THE SCRIBE.

l. OF n long time have l desired, O
most excellent Adolphus, to write to
you concerning those things which dc
most nearly concern this part of tn
phere mundane. Selah!
= Now The rise of Benjamin., tn,
On Of Harrison was on this wise.
3. When the tribe of Republics has:
Icld the mastery for four and invent.
ears, ahd hal devoured the fat of tn
land;
4. Behold, it came to pass in those
days that the tribe of Democritus
gathered themselves together and
spale one to another, saying:-
). Bismillah! let Us 90 up unto the
city which is called the City of Wick
1dness, and let Us choose unto our
elves such an one as shall smite thes.
cumberers of our land, hip and thigh
6. And they did so; and they chOst
and Amounted Grover, of the hous,
of Cleveland, and made him ruler G.
the land.
Z. And it came to pass in the fourth
year of his reign, Bayard being Chic.
Scribe OF the realm, and Robert, the
Fiddler satrJp ever the province of tn
crooked spoon:
8. That, behold, the tribe of Repub
ties awoke from their deep sleep and
SDalSe one TO the other.
8. "By the beard of our fathe:
Jamie, it behOOves US not to sit idly
in bbe market place while they whu
haze tOiied but one hour receive the
spoili"
10. ITO your tents, O house OF Re
pubites! Awake from your sleep OF
dependency! Put off your sack
;loJn and ashes and quit ye like
nen!"
II. For there had been "weeping
1nd crashing of teeth, when the PEG
,le in their majesty had Overthrown
the power of r. pubites;
-. Yea, many high officials of the
realm refused to be comfOrted, be
cause Grover had scOOped them 50,
and Jamie was non est.
-. And they did as they were bid,
and gathered themselves together by
tens and by hundreds in the City OF
the Saints OH the shores of the Father
of Waters.
IA. And they did desire that Jamie,
| the Tattooed, should rule over them
but he would not.
-. So they chose in his stead, one
| Benjamin, OF the house of Harrison.
| Selah!
16. Now the trit e of Democritu
/
! their standard bearer;
II. For no one found any fault il
! aim, and all said: "Behold a Demo
crat indeed, in whom is no guile"
! IS. And it came to pass that on the
eleventh month, and the seventh day
of the month, that they did cast theil
| lots.
10. And when the lots were counte,
/ behold, Benjamin, the son of Harris
on, was taken and Grover left in TIN
| soup.
20. Then did the tribe of Democrat
us cry out with one accord, II tOlC
you So" And they wept sorely.
p. But in the tents of the Republic
there was much feasting and merry
IN liking
D. And they did appoint the fourtl
lay of the third month TO annOin
their chief.
p And they did proclaim genera
thanksgiving. throughout the land
and compelled men to 90 with then
to the great city, and the Sanhedrin
of the province of the Crooked Spoon
did enact an edict
a. That there should be no law
making in that satrapy for the spac,
of seven days; that all might go will
a great shout unto the browning o
their chief.
p. And men did wonder anon,
| themselves what manner of govern
ment this would be, and who would
! be the princes in the land.
/ 20. For many there be who would
like pull at the pie, but few to whom
il is given.
u. But why, O! vain man, Dispute
myself with regrets?
! %. For will not all these things bt
/ m lde clear in the near future!
| %. Possess thy soul in patience, anC
verify thou shalt be Statistic |. Selah