Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-09-27
PITH AND POINT.

L L III AlN ~ 4 OIlN L.
Navy Plugs-Old sea horses.
Cut rates-Thc surgeons fee.
Flies everywhere. Even time flies.
Dead recl<oning-The undertaken
bill.
Forced politcncss-Bowing to neces.
sity.
A solid man-Thc ossiiied African at
dime museum.-1i0u and Express.
Very few persons can hold their own
IN their first sea voyage. Courier
The march of righteousness should be
played on an upright piano. baltimore
AmericGa
can things will comc to him wha
waits. The dry rot, for one thing
Philadelphia Prcss.
There is not much sentiment about q
Chinese laundryman, yet he daily wriugs
mems bosoms. York Journal.
He-"Comc, now; let's kiss and make
up" Shc-''No, sir; won't" He
"Well, let's kiss anyhow. "-lSomereiIie
journal.
''How can get ahead2" asked Il dull
boy of pessimist. "Isy raising cab
bages." was the consoling rcply.-Neto
York. Journal.
Wrestling is by no means confined to
animate things, rs everyone knows who
has ever seen ships spar, sen fight or .
ballot boX.-Bditimore american.
We observe that young man who was
arrested for attempted suicide by jump
ing into the river has been ''baled Cut
by his friends. "-lKunSey's IHc5kiy
They sat within the porlor dim
And frerfuiiy she said To him:
II wish dear John, that you'd behave
Ii not, wish that you wouid shave"
Boston Courier.
"What shall I call my playa" asked
the man vino had stolen one from the
French; and his friend advised him to
call it Elijah, because it was translated =
Sytings.
"Have you a cigar about you?" "No;
don't buy any now" "What and
why, them" ''Because | want to break
you of the habit of smoking. Fliegend:
BiGetter.
wonder Ito more you retain your bloom
And grow SO sleek and fat
When you ask as much for my hall bedroom
AS your landlord asks for the fiat.
-Ne.1 YORK. San.
Bridget-"Enioy Shape, is it? Tho
minute L lay down I'm asapc, aud the
minute Pm awake I nave 10 get uD.
Where's the time Tor enjoying Shape to
come i'll I'd like yez to tell mc?"-Lite.
The burglar sneal,ed silently into the room.
The housewife awo.:e with Il cry;
She didn't assault him with pistol or broom
She conducted him TO the minco pic.
~ dshinytOa Critic.
Visitor-"T presume it was because
you were sadly tried by adversely that you
are confined here" Prisoncr-ssNo; il
was because l was tried by a granger
jury that couldn't be bought - Onah1
World.
1t is said that the hogs in this country
are double the value Of the sheep. Is
that the reason why the railway hog
monopolizes two seats in car while some
sheep-faced man is compelled TO stand?
-Sylings.
When you go to the circus,
Take care what you drink;
Loo!: not on the lemonade
When it is pink.
Laurence american.
"Wherc's your pa, sonnys" Giles
out" 'AIa in?" ''No; She's out u
Brother inan mo; he's out" s.Thcn
you're the only one in?" "Naw; amt
in; three out, side out; I'm just left on
bases. "-BrOoIly@ Eagle.
A youth who resided in Leicester,
6lew into patent lung leicester.
But he stopped with q snccze
For with Limoilrgei' chcase
the machine had been stuffed by sor,.
leicester.
Washington critic.
Frank-"The deuce he did! And
what did the General say." Kate-"Pa-
pa said that if married young Elaby
he'd cut me OF with shilling" Frank
"Bravo! Go it, Ellabyl And did you
mention mc2" Kate-''Yes, Frank,
dear, did. Papa said that if I married
fyou he'd cut me Off without one. y
Time.
"Papa," said Amy, hesitatingly, Ell
must confess something. Harry and /
had arranged to elope tonight, but my
conscience troubled me, and just had
to tell you, end spoiled it ALL" at need
not spoil it," replied the fond parent {;
"go ahead and elope, but never tell |
knew it. 1t will save the expenses of q
wedding. "-Harper,s Bazur.
The Grasshoppcr War.
"Thc Grasshopper War;" in the early
settlement of our country, was a conflict
between two Indian tribes An Indian