Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-02-08
SHORT LAUGHS,

If man wants to get cur-rap0 i,
should kick yellow dog. "
A YOUNG girls first love story a]v,.
begins sweetly and harmoniouslv MI
Chap. I. -Someruille Journal.
SuRGEoN-You'll have to be H.,
my man. Patient (faintly) - Bay
Landlord was here half an hour aeo
Bardette.
GIN sure Mr.. Merritt won't say r.
getting deaf" said Miss Spider, apps,,
ingly. 20, no." he replied. Cher.
little you don't hear. "-New York ST..
W1FE-This light is very poor. NJ
gas seems to be lower with every wess
Husband-So it does; but the bill is 81
right. 1t gets higher every time.-Tl.
Quaker.
equity? I should say so! His is,
capital oaense." "Capital?" Ca,
tainly. He took $15O,O0O. If that ISM,
capital, 4 don't know what is. "-Harpey
Bazaar.
A MAN who doesn't like music saw
that the most pleasing artistic he eyel
heard was young woman who wa
asked to sing and refused.-MercAqn
Trareler.
The Burlington Free Press call
rheumatism "joint complaint" fifth,
Free Press man had ever had it NJ
would know that it is joint and severa
--Lo1ceU Courier.
20, YouAH mistaken, me boy. Tosksl
is weakly gentleman" "What makes
you think SOP" well, I saw bill
from London tailor in his mail, don't
you knowah ?"-Ne,o York World.
Mrs. CR1MsoNBEAK-I never see Won
at church. Miss WHAT'S tld
use of my going to church? "What i
the use?" "Yes, what is the use? Tm
milliner, you know. "-Yonkers States
man.
WORCESTERSHIRE an awful squeeze
there was at the Van Twiller reception
last night! Grace-Yes; George and b
had to sit outside, on the stairs.-Horl
tense-Did the squeeze continue OUT
e?-sLite.
GooD M1NIsTER--The fervor With
which you joined in the hymn II want
to be an angel" delighted me. Little
Dick-Yessir; the teacher told me there
wasn't any preachin' an prayin' an cat
echism lessons in Heayen.-Philads!
phia Record.
Flows BEEF to-day, Sparrib?" in.
quired Mr.. Epson Downes, airly.
High, eh?" eff you want it on credit
Mr.. Downes," replied the butcher,
sternly, cts on hook about eleven
feet up the wall. But it'll come down
for cash if [ whistle. PUCK.
EXTRACT from Recent Novel. ~
At that moment the worthy pastor ap'
peared on the threshold of the manse.
His hands were thrust into the pockets
of his large loose coat, while lie turned
over the leaves of his prayer book and
wiped his spectacles. Paul Lindau.
GEN. WoLsELEY expects to make a
fortune in Australia out of sheep.
shearing machine which he has invented.
But that is nothing. Hundreds Of
Americans have made fortunes by shear.
ing lambs, and they didn't have to use
any machine, either.-Neev Yoy.k Trib.
aA1ae.
@HAvE you any old buttons you can
give me, Mr.. Lonely?" asked . little
girl of an old bachelor; I'm making a
collection of all I can find" "No, my
dear, was the mild reply. II never have
button. My washing is done by .
Chinese laundryman." = New York
SIN.
Mr.. HoRR1soN-Can't Iget you some
thing from the supper-room to go with
the VINE! Miss Schaus (from Clncln'
natl, who is going through the Eastern
refinement process)-Thanks, awfully!
I'd ever so much like slice of coffee
cake and = pigs understanding
Judge.
Doctor, passing stonecutter's yard
-Good-morning, Mr.. Jones. Hard at
work, I see. I suppose you finish your
gravestones as far as I'm memory Of, :
and then wait for some one to die Ell?
Stonecutter-Why, yes, unless some
body's sick and you're doctoring 'em;
then keep right on.-Bosto1a Gazetts
A CLERGYMAN says: II once married
handsome young couple, and as I took
the bride by the hand at the close Of
the ceremony and gave her my
warmest congratulations, she tossed her
pretty head, and, pointing to the bride
groom, said, I think he is the one to be
congratulated "-Londou Erchange.
LITTLE Observation-Disclosures, may l
play with the little girl next door,
Mrs. Upton (severely)-C Certainly not