Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29
THE ARIZONA KICKER.



POOR SHOOTING.
We extract the following from the
last issue Of the ArjzO7la Kicker:
AS we were returning to our Office
from the Widow Smiths the other
evening 1--WE have been sparkling the
widow for several weeks past), and Just
as we came opposite the old Indian fort,
some person whose manners certainly
need polishing up, fred four bullets at
US from a revolver. The intent, no
doubt, was to kill us. It took US about
the milliOnth part of a second to re-
alize this fact, and then we opened out
Tor run and made good our escape.
We don't claim to be great shakes on
shooting, but if we can't hit the editor
and proprietor Of the great and growing
weekly at a distance Of twenty feet
once In four shots we will leave Arr
IONA. We don't claim to be a Chester
field, but if our manners permitted US
to hide away behind an old stone wall
and begin popping at a gentleman with
out warning, we'd expect to be men
toned in the same line with hyena.
TOO MUCH TALK.
There is altogether too much talk
about that mistake of our popular
young druggist of the Blue Front
which sent Col Jim Jackson to his
grave. Col. jim asked for quinine
and got strychnine by mistake, but
there are a good many redeeming fea-
lures The Colonel was old, lazy, and
drunk half his time, and left no one to
mourn his loss. The druggist is a
young and energetic man, who sold out
a cOal-Yard in Chicago to come here
and go into the drug business, and it
must be expected that he Will make a
few mistakes in the go Off We call at
tentiOn to his liberal manner of adver-
Using in the Kicker. He has assured
us that such mistake cannot occur
again, as he has properly labeled the
bottles.
ANOTHER LIE NAILED.
Our esteemed contemporary down
The street charges US this week with
bulldOHng the business men of this
town into advertising with u.s. We
nail that statement as a lie. Our meth
DDS Of securing advertising have always
been perfectly legitimate. If a man
who fed from Ohio to escape State
prison for arson opens a grocery here we
drop around for a friendly chat with him
and we let him know that we are post
ed on him. Then we set forth our cir.
cuIation and influence, give him rates,
and if he says he doesn't want to adver
tise that ends it. While we advise al
to advertise, we never bUldOze, as al
can testify. If buldozing would Sc
cure advertising the old clap-trap con
Germ down the street covered witt
mortgages would be quite apt to try it.
APOLOGETICAL.
During our absence last week an item
crept into the local columns which has
stirred up considerable feeling. It wal
in relation to the death of Judge
Handy, and the writer OF it, supposing
truth was demanded, said the deceased
was an old lOafer. hummer, drunkarC
and dead beat, and that he was found
dead beside a jug of whisky. The
friends of the deceased are Justly indig
nant at this expose, although they do
not dispute the charges. We are very
sorry that anything of the sort should
happen, and are now preparing aI
article for next week, in which the
Judge is cOmplimented for his sobEety
and love of cold water-praise for hii
honesty and integrity -complimenteC
for his public charities, and referred t,
as one of the most upright men west o
Chicago While all knew better, anC
while the whole thing Will be false
hood, we shall be smoothing it over TO
his friends. Extra copies, done up
ready for mailing, only five cents each
Detroit Free Press.