The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1889-02-21
SEEING THE ELEPHANT.
An Unsophisticated Young Mans
City Experience.
Ho Finds Accommodations and Amuso'
mcnts In Chicago Como Rather
High-How City ShArpcrs Man
ng0 to Thrive.

IF you tell me what time the next
train leaves for Iowa without charg-
ing me for it I'll be much obliged"
said stranger. evidently from the
country, to the Herald reporter at the
Northwestern depot . day or two ago.
He was young man scarcely more
than twenty-five, whose rather hand
some features were well Drowned by
the sun.
When the reporter had impaired the
desired information, the young man
continued:
MAY be you thought it strange
that | said without charge but if
you had had my experience during the
past two days you wouldn't wonder at
it. Besides, am dead broke, and if
hadn't taken the precaution to buy
q return ticket before ! left Clinton
County I'd have to hoof it home"
you've been extravaganza. have
your asked the sympathetic reporter.
.Extrayagant amt the word. 'tisn't
strong enough by half. I've been the
prodigal son. only I've got beyond
him. for / haven't got the husks of the
pigs with which to fill my empty
stomach. 1t hasn't been my fault.
though. for if I'd been left to myself
I'd have been economical enough.
Come to think of it, it's my fault after
all 1t all comes Of my not being able
TO say no. But never could. do
honestly believe that If girl were to
ask me to marry her ! couldn't re-
fuse her, even if l were engaged to
another young lady,"
Tho beggars took charge of you,
ch?,
II guess you'd scarcely call 'em So.
Let me tell you about it. 1t is my first
visit to this big city, and came in for
good time. When I'm home shave
myself. Ny beard hadn't got twenty
four hours old, but my hair didn't
seem to set according to the style Ihad
noticed on tho cars and along the
street as had walked. grip in hand,
up to the hotel. So ! stepped into one
Of the tonsorial parlOrs and took a
vacant chair, at which stood q rosy
checked fellow with baby mustache,
hair parted in the middle and lisp in
his voice When he had cut my hair
and as you see he has cut SO close
to the scalp that Ill not need a comb
for three months-he wanted me to
stand shampoo. ! said / guessed
not, upon which he fired away, telling
me that he knew Of this, that and
t'other one who got the cancer, bald
head, scald-head and other troubles
from failure to keep his scalp clean,
and added that mine was in the worst
condition Of any persons he ever saw.
] told him to 60 ahead I'll say moth
ing Of the pain Of that operation, for
it is over now. and / shall never try it
again. neglected to say that he
talked constantly. never stopping for
q second. He then forced shave on
me, that he did. Bay rum, ,lr?' he
asked, when he had carried me
through that torture. / nodded. Then
he wouldn't release me until l had ac-
guessed in a demand that l have my
mustache dyed. Most people would
think fellow would be satisfied with
that robbery, but he wasn't. He lit.
orally forced me into taking hair 10.
ton, cake of pomade and bottle Of
bay rum. turned two shades whittier
than the powder he'd spread so freely
on my face when asked for my bill
which was seventeen dollars. 3D..
"Oh, that'll never do" objected tn.
reporter.
That's what said, but the boss o.
the shop said twas always ten dollar
for dye. The lotion. pomade an,
bay rum were five dollars, hair GU
seventy-five cents, shampoo the same
shave, twenty-five cents; bay rum OF
face, ten cents"
but fifteen cents is yet unaccount
ed for,' persisted the reporter.
"Yes. we'll, the boot-black got that
and he wanted quarter, but he con
scented to compromise on that when
told him they only charged a nickel a
Clinton"
And you mean to tell me you PAL
such an outrageous bill?"
That did. OF course l knew
was somewhat eXorbitant. but was
stranger and the five or six BARRIERS il
The shop MI said the prices were VIVA
Ill swell people paid and it was onl
s.rnnpanf fa|la~s from TIM tsnlnfrv fha