Morning journal and courier., 1889-12-20
EARLY.

The early worm does not wait for the late
 bird. Wheeling Inteligencer.
 Falling Of.-Do you think bicycle riding
 is falling off" "Yes, y."-Harper's
 Bazar.
 An Omaha man has an egg he claims he
 has kept for 10 years. It must be decade egg, of fcourse.-Exchange. On the question of the introduction of the European influenza into this country the eyes
 and noes will have it.-Lowell Courier. When you want to compliment woman
 on the uncertain side of 30 speak of some one
 little older than she is as "girl. ."-Somer-
 vile Journal.
 When the boys on the schoolship Saratoga
 begin their first cruise, the most pertinent l order, and one that won't be promptly obey ed, will be: "Avast heaving g!''-Philadelp | Inquirer.
 Cross-eyed gentleman (seeking partner, Will you honor me, Miss Smith, by danc. | ing the next waltz with me? Two Misses Smith Gin nison)-With pleas
 ure.-New York Press.
 A Valiant Tar.-Captain of Winning
 Yacht-"Well, stood on that tack half-an
 :hour-and won." Rustic Gin listening group)-"By cracky, you'd oughter.
 wouldn't stand on one half -a-minute."- | Time.
 | ElKSb WOLudu-MI5s GObCIu LOiO m0 bu6t
 she's going to celebrate her tin wedding soon.
 Second Woman-Well, that is appropriate. You know she married for money.-New | York Sun.
 l examination in New York was "Upon what | do hibernal animals subsist during the win- teri" To which a little girl, after much
 evident thought, wrote "On the hope of a
 coming spring." Ain America, where they have so many associations for the amelioration of society, | they have lately formed company to pro-
 mote execution by electricity" B-"Soi | Is it only to benefit the members of the
 society"-Fliegende Blatter. 1 Pater-You children turn up your noses al
 everything on the table: When was boy | was glad to get enough dry bread to eat. Tommy-Ssy, pa, you're having a much
 better time of it, now you're living with us, ain't you?"-Grip. Inventor-I have just patented a new | ''nicke1-in.the-slot" machine, which would l like you to take hold of. It is an entirely new design. and will never get out of order. l Nickel-in-the-slotc capitalist-Never get out 1 of order7 Huh! No money in 8 machine like
 that. New York Weekly. A Wife's ity.-She-"George, you | will have to give me twelve dollars to pay the grocer's last bill with" He-"Why, how's that, my dears I thought always gave you
 money enough" She-"Well, you see,
 dear, had to take the grooer's money to pay for that handsome umbrella I'm going to
 give you for Christmas. ."-Smith, Gray 6, Co.'s Monthly.
 Tragedian-"I am to be led to execution, you say, and not allowed to say one word at the injustice of the act, and you, you who
 have partaken of my bounty on former state occasions, prove recreant now, and carry @ hear-r.r-t as false as hell itself" Supe (hia | irt appearance)-"Yer 8 liar if yer say 50 Yer told mo to do this yerself only twenty minutes ago !"-Life. A shivering man was seen trying to climb down into the crater of Mount Vssuvius. A | guide started forward with cry of alarm. "What is the matter with youg' the man l asked.
 "Merciful heavens!" exclaimed the excited l guide, "you will be roasted" 'That's all right, podner. Don't you worry
 about my being roasted. I'm from St.Louis. , -Arkansaw Traveller.