Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1889-03-13
Hints 10 Mr.. ssmrrisou
BY ROBERT j BURDETTa

NOu VI pClCOpol w ulIu IL
has been ray foftune-or shall l say fate?-
tc receive from our mutual friend, MIR. John
Wauemaker, of the United States or, to
be more explicit, Of the Earth. Referring
briefly, and with that reticence which is so
characteristic OF the man, to lis own rela
tions with the Administration, and express.
ing his own view OF the situation which
now confronts u3 with q conditional theory
which is akin 10 a theoretical condition
Mr.. Wanamaker says, speaking OF a tariff
for revenue:
Your kind attention to your December account,
as por bill rendered will be greatly appreciated by
Yours truly. JOIN WANAMAKER.
You will perceive, Mr.. President, by the
familiar ard potceably persistent tone Of
Mr.. Wauamaker's frank and cordial note,
that this matter has been discussed by US
more than once or twice and while ! am
willing TO admit that | am, perhaps, more
conservative in my action upon tbis mea-
sure than our esteemed friend, ye! iully
agree with him concerning the more impor-
tant features of his bill for the acc elton OF
the surplus, and will cordially move either
to recommit it or, if it would better meet
the views of the Administration, to press it,
with an avoidance of undue haste BETTING
the gravity of the situation, to O third or
even fourth reading.
Don't talk very much about civil-seryice
reform, but do great deal of it. One of the
best ways of securing en- efficient civil GER
vice Is to carry little pocket guillotine
around with you aud keep it oiled. Work
off, some fellow "constitutiouslly" once in
a while, iust to keep the departments stirred
up to general tlutter of expectancy, activi.
ty, and strict attention to business. Do you
know why the mountain stage drivers give
the mules the lnsh while swinging down
the dizzy grades a. break-neck speed So
that they wont have time or opportunity TO
look around for something to shy at, and
thus pitch coach and passengers over & pre-
cipce as high as window on inauguration
day. The mules mind is kept on thewhip;
be never knows where it may strike next,
so he keeps right ahead as last as be can
pick up his feet. and tends right to his
k{sftting, hoping the lash may have no need
to fail on him. The most respectful and in
dustrous citizens in America are the depart.
ment employees since election. ThAir re-
spectfui demeenor is only equalled aud their
industry only excelled by those patriots
who are not department employees, but are
willing to throw aside their foolish scruples
and native diffidence, and become so. When
a man becomes indispensable to the Govern
ment, and the Administration couldn't mold
together forty minutes without him, and he
finds it out, it's time he was shot-fired, l
mean. II he does not know how necessary
he is, keep him, for be is Of great value; but
80 soon as he learns what everybody else
knows, his usefulness begins to wane. How
ever, this does not often happen as rule,
the man finds it out long before the rest of
us. Sometimes be finds it out when the rest
Of us never do.
Aud, while dwelling upon this point, re-
member, no matter what happens, or who
goes back on you, that you can always get
a better man than the one you lose. The
best man hasn't been invented yet. There
are plenty of better men, but no best. Since
Sullivan was whipped by a smaller man,
everybody ''sasses" him. Samson was
downed at last, and killed himself trying to
get even. Napoleon was conquered by
soldier with not tithe of the great Cors-
cans fame; Rome was destroyed by bar
barians; and no matter how good man
may be, you will always, can always tind q
better In the pool room or at the Hoffman
House. There have been but two men who
exceled all others in their own specialties:
Adam was the first man, but see how long
ago he had to start to accomplish this. And
how mnch he missed by making such an
early start Got all his work done before
the rest of the world got out of bed. Me-
thuselsh was the oldest man, but he had to
live until his back ached TO do it. And then
he lent sure of it after all; we're not
through; Hannibal Hamlin or Mr.. Ban.
croft may break the record yet. Adam,
after all-or rather before all-is the only
man who has dead sure thing on pre-
eminence. And science says-but no mat
ter what science says; she will say just the
contrary the next time she says nything.
/ was going to give you few valuable
suggestions upon tho surplus. l know
something about that, as l live under the
shadow of the Episcopal Church; but if, as
l have been informed, the Congressional Re.
cord is going to put oD new dress, enlarge,
issue supplement and Sunday edition, it
will not be necessary. l will reserve that
SPACE for few remarks, in the course OF 4
week or so, upon the deficit.
In conducting the conference with that
mild-mannered and pliable apostle Of peace,
Prince Bismarck, remember the Russian pro-
verb: MAKE friends with bear, but keep
hold of the axe"
do not wish to add one ounce to your
burdens nor is it my desire to impose upon
your friendship; have but one boon to ask
of the administration, and [ have done. I
have learned that the United States Consul
ct the Garrhabbaroot Islands was eaten on a
recent Sabbath evening at the Kings birth
dey party. l wish to recommend man
whom know well, and whom | am conf
dent would fill the place to the Kings salts
faction for this consulate. As [ desire to
surprise the man 1 request that the little
birthday episode be kept secret until after