The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1889-10-23

AX where FettlgreW |
a ~ married Mrs. !
Pettigrew. The |
rest Of the family is composed of a ten |
year-old son, Billy Pettigrew, and blessed |
baby. Mr.. Pettgrew is lawyer and a
good-natured sort Of man. In Mrs. Petit
grew the maternal instinct isvery much in
the ascen1ancy. - ~. ~ II
Almost all her thoughts are conferred in
Billy and the baby and newcarpet for the
parlor. The baby being only year old, his
character is not yet sufficiently developed
to admit of an analysis; but the neighbors,
judging by his voice, predict that he will
become an auctioneer." Billy, the boy-the
irrepressible boy-seems tosb be OF mer-
cenary disposition. He recently, during
the absence of his parents, sold nearly
new kitchen stove to an old junk man, and
he has put the money where nobody else
but himself can find it. He has, on several
other occasions, shown surprising degree
of business enterprise in one so young. II
One morning after breakfast not long
since Mr.. PettigreF was sitting in the
sitting-room reading the morning paper
and smoking cigar when the voice of Mrs.
Pettigrew was heard in the. parlor:
"Ben, OH Ben! come into the paror a.
minute, will you, deara'
Ben was reading the report Of the
baseball game, and as he had only read six
innings, he did not respond very promptly,
where upon Mrs. Twaddles said in a severe,
cutting tone:
''Sir, my daughter requests your pres
ence in the parlor." "a A
81 always obey orders when they come di-
rect from headquarters" said Mr. Petti-
grew, winking at himself confdentially, as
he threw down the paper and strolled into
the parlor. lSb as ats
Mrs. Pettigrew, who was standing by the
mantel-piece, remarked impressively:
Just look at those tracks in the dust on
the mantel-piece, and tell me what made
them.''
He approached the dusty mantelpiece
and examined it very closely. 1t certainly
presented a very strange appearance, for
there was continuous broad track me-
andering over it in different directions. 1t
was evidently made by some very large in
sect. The trail seemed to emerge from and
return to hole in the wall near the edge
of the mantelpiece.
"By thunder!" exclaimed Mr.. Pettigrew,
''the evidence is overwhelming in my
mind"
"What"
"I've seen one just like it in bottle in
drugstore. 1t is a"
IA what2"
ut is the biggest centipede that ever
crawled The outside tracks are made by
his legs, and the inside tracks are made by
the two hooks at the end of his tail"
At the word centipedo Mrs. Pettigrew
jumped on chair and shook her clothes, at
the same time uttering a piercing shrek,
which brought into the parlor sif by magic
Mrs. Twaddles and Billy.
Now, If there was any thing in the world
that Mrs. Twaddles was afraid of, it was
centipede. She had never seen one, and
when she saw the trail in the dust on the
mantel-piece she nearly had spasm, but
her son-in-law sought to aliay her appre-
tensions. 1t seemed to be pleasure to
him to describe the habits land pecuiarities
of the insect
IF you should feel one crawling over
your person at night, Mrs. Twaddles,"
[shudderl 'you must not move or betray
any emotion" [gasp] "for If you do'' TO-,
my Lord j she will bury his jaws in your
fesh," [wrigglel "but you will not feel it''
II wish was back in New York. ~ say,
Mrs. Twaddles, you will not feel his jaws,
because he will simultaneously anchor his
other end in your quivering flesh" [Oh!
give me some stimulantsl "by two long
hooks, and he will bring his legs, each one
of which is armed with a sting, and clinch
them so tight that the insect will have to be
removed by pieces" tfa'tI. I.a.a
With direful shrek Mrs. Twaddles fled
upstairs. The situation was, indeed, very
serious one. 1t was very evident that the
centipede lurked in the chimney, and
emerged at night from the hole, and crawled
over the whole parlor.
A council of war was held as to the best
way to destroy thevenomous creature.
my idea," said Mr.. Pettigrew, sis to lock
up your mother in the parlor at nights.
think that would make the centpede apply
for change of venue"
"Benjamin, I'll not permit you to speak Of
my mother in that disrespectful manner
How are we going to kill the creatures"
''Do him the way they do rats in q bar.
room. Catch him and squeeze his head
in lemon-squeezer. But, seriously,
don't know what to do about the centipede
We can't take down the chimney to find him
and it's dreadful thing to know there is q
devilish reptile eleven inches long crawling
about the house at night My idea Is tc
stay In the parlor until he comes out and
then mash the internal thing with the back
Of an axe" g..
"Don't mash the poor centipede, pa" said
Billy, "for II you do, pa, I'll feel so bad; fol-
II he is mashed the druggist won't buy him
from me to put into bottle of alcohol
am going to get quarter for the insectp
With the exception Of Mr.. Pettigrew, the
entire family became distressingly nervous
Mrs. Pettigrew jumped five feet into the ali
and warbled ''CENrIPEDEw when she acct
dentally put her naked foot on q hair brush
Just before retiring. Next morning Mrs
Pettigrew's ma announced that before
night she would be away from State
where she had to associate with centipedes
and worldly minded men Cooking at Petit
grew; she would 90 back to New York
Its nothing when you get used to it, ID
1t, Emilyi remarked Pe:tlgrew, appealing
to his wife.
Emily did not reply, but urged her mother
to remain. So did Mr.. Pettigrew, he say ms
that people occasionally recovered from
centipede bites; that in Mexico they wert
used IS pets.
In spite Of all these enticing inducsment.
offered to Mrs. Twaddies to reusin, She
left On the eleven o,clo.,l train