davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
AN ELIXIR OF DEATH.

The elixir of life may turn out to be the
elixir of death before the physicians have
stopped experimenting with it. DR.. Brown
Sequard's high reputation as a medical
specialist has induced great many doctors
all over the civilized world to accept his dis
covery without much investigation. All
that is known Of the French doctors expert
lnents with his elixir is that half dozen
old people. into whose veins this compound
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
MINSTRELsY. AT THE BIJOU.
A Crowded House and Performance That
Pleased Everybody.


The Bijou Theater could not have been
opened under more favorable auspices. The
house is neater and handsomer than ever and
an audience that occupied all the seats and
nearly every foot of standing room came last
night to be anu sed by the capital performance
of the Haverly- Cleveland Minstrel Company.
The weather was cool, and everyone was in a
humor for laughter. Certainly there was
enough to laugh at, and all seemed pleased and
satisfied.
The first part of the programme was of the
old-fashioned order and first-rate of its kind 1t
could scarcely be otherwise. with such men as
Hughey Dougherty Billy Emerson, Clint
Maynard and Banks Winter taking part.
Dougherty is whole show in himself, and his
auditors last night acted as If they would be
perfectly satisfied If he were the sole per-
former. Both he and Emerson were recalled
time and again. They are just as funny as they
ever were.
Several novel and very taking features were
introduced later in the evening-the military
maneuvers of the Egyptian phalanx and the
juggling and acrobatic feats Of the Imperial
Japanese Troupe being among the best. The
performance. as q whole. was original, varied
and highly entertaining.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
THE RED MANS WRONGS.

The Nations Course Toward Its Wards IL
Illustrated BY nm Anecdote- A Record
Not Creditable 10 the Government
How Canada Mana ges the Indian Ques-
fi0n.
WRITTEN FOR THE DIsPATcH.l
The history of the American Indian is a very
niad of tragedy. The present attempts of the
Government to secure more Indian lands, leads
the people to consider what is the best course
topursue in regard to our red brother. The
story is the old one of the merciless extinction
OF the lower races before the higher. Whisky
diseases and Incidence have always marked the
contact of Caucasian civilization with the rude
habits Of the savage. 1t is story Of the sur
vival of the fttest." An old anecdote is brought
to light, which illustrates the Indians view.
The famous Indian Chief, Red Jacket, once
met Government agent and after pleasant
greetings. they both sat down on log. when
Red Jacket asked the agent to move along"
The agent did SO and the chief followed. This
was repeated several times the agent humor-
ing the whim of the old chief, until he had
reached & the end Of the log. when the same WI re-
quest. Move along" was repeated. "Why,
man, angrily replied the agent, II can move
along further without getting oil the log, into
the mud" ugh Just SO white man-want
lndian-move along-move along. Can't go no
farther. Yet he say, move along"
And so with the red man to-day.
Tho lowest Indian has some conception of
honor, if fairly appealed to. All through the
history Of our nation we see where nisrepre-
sentations and dishonorable schemes have been
practiced by the whites. The idea of an Indian
country was first suggested by Thomas Jeffer-
SON soon after the Louisiana purchase. Even
at the price paid for this scope of territory-!OO
acres for cent-the trade was considered
foolish one, and unavailable and worthless
THE best use we can make of il, }" said Jeffer-
son, will be to give establishments in 1t to the
Indians east of the Mis- sssppi in exchange for
their present country"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
FUNNY MEMS FANCIEs.

If your friend, who has been cultivating
n kitchen garden sll summer. looks thin and wan,
don't lay it wholly to hard work. He may be
trying to live on what he has raised. Puck.
Though, as she purrs, the tabby cat
No mischief seems to hatch;
When once provoked she's prompt enough
In coming to the scratch.
--Wdshfn0ton CapitaL
"Who is there?" said DIR. Brown-Sequard.
ssThe Grant Memorial Fund, - was the reply.
ssWell, can t do anything for you. You'llhave
to walt till resurrection y."- Washington Cap
ftal.
Rev. Primrose-Ths tide waits for no
man, my young friend.
Merrite-So they say. Still. when one lies down
on the sand, it seems to wsit till he's asleep
Time.
Not Her rSize.-Customer from Seedville-
Do you keep the best make Of shoeshere1
+ City Dealer-Yaas, our shoes are all No. I.
Customer from seedville-Then you can't suit
me. 1 take No. 5.-Munsey's Weekly.
The Man He Wanted. Policeman
(sternly)--"what are you doing in the street this
hour of the nighty''
wler--doyfully,-"By George. you're ex-
actly the man want to see! I'm trying to and
saloon. ~ Chicago Tribune.
The Miseries of Poverty.-Dr. Bluff
You stick too closely to your desk, MIR. Borrowit.
recommend to you to buy pair Of Indian clubs.
Poor Jack-But live In the city, doctor. Il
would take all my salary to rent . room big
enough to swing them in!-Ifme.
Traveler-(in railway restaurant)-Tvo
soft-b oiled eggs and glass Of milk, In hurryi
Waiter-(Quarter Of an hour later)--Sorry 70
keel you so long. Boss but de fact Is, sab, das
Dose
Traveler--Thatn do. You may stand there and
talk all day but you can't make me believe that it
takes fifteen minutes to boil an egg three.-Puck.
Furnishing the Rascal.-Mrs. Billus-
(while giving Mr.. b. curtain lecture at late
hour)-.'Harki What's that? hear . noise In
the cellar. John, I'm sure it's q burglari''
Mr.. Bilfus--(getting out of bcd)--'I'n hx himr'
Mrs. Billus--.'what are you going to do, Johng
You haven't your revolver"
Mr.. Bilus--(desperatelyl--'T going to open
the doors all the way down to the cellar so the in
Tribune.
PARADoxICAL.
This world is but q paradox,
Things are but IN arranged,
Aman whose hat Is all stove In
Is apt to be deranged.
A man Is suriy when he's late, :
And short when. he Is long.
He may not wish to do much good,
And yet may write quite wrong.
Some low men only eat high meat
A fast man may be slow,
And some who'vs early been oflate
were OF behind before n
-Laprsnes Amsrseas.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
MARI Auder.on Quito Recovered.
BOUGHT HER OWN COFFIN.
Careful Woman, Who Prepared for Her
Funeral Years Ago.

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.1
Mrs. Elizabeth Faith, whose death occurred
few days since. IN her s7th year, was re-
markable woman in many respects, but in none
more than q careful business outlook for future
emergencies. As an illustration of this it was
learned yesterday that the coffin in which she
was buried was made by her directions more
than three years ago.
The coffin was of solid walnut lined with zinc
and trimmed with white silk. It was inclosed
in strong cedar box, and this in still another
box made of thick oak lumber. After its com
pletion the maker took the coffin to her resi-
dence on East Jefferson street for inspection
She examined it with great care. and expressed
herself as satisfied with the workmanship. She
instructed the manufacturer to take 1t back to
his shop and keep 1t for her until she needed IL
It remained with him for three years, until the
death of its owner last Saturday brought 1t
into service.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

EVERY now and again Pittsburg is re-
minded that great oarsman still cleaves
the dark waters of the Monongahela with
his oars. Teemer has emerged from Nc
Keesport and his modest nature to chal-
lenge the victor in the O'Connor-Searle
race. Teemer's friends still believe he can
beat any oarsman living if he refrains from
beating himself
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

IT is entirely due to the newspapers that
nulled, and that very large part of one of
the most cQwardly and contemplate con-
spiracies that has ever disgraced New York
City has been laid bare to the world. But
the press has still something more to do. 1t
must not halt until every guilty conspirator
ie in iai1
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

THE st. Louis Globe Democrat thinks
Pennsylvania politics are SO cut and dried
that there is no interest in them to any but
Pennsylvanians. The election of Repub-
lican Treasurer this year may be a foregone
conclusion, but there will be fun for all in
the Gubernatorial campaign that follows.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
AN INNOCENT CONVICT,
Who Served 1S Years In Prison for Killing
Man Who II Alive,

VINO Serveo 10 xears In frlson Tor Mining
Man Who II Alive.
BIRMINGHAM, August 15-Eighteen years
ago George Green and Henry Smith, farmers,
living in Colbert county, Alabama, had fight,
and Green shot Smith. The wound was not
considered dangerous at Hrst, but Smith re-
covered very slowly. Finally he moved out of
the county with his family, and few months
later his wife and son came back, and reported
that Smith had died from the effects Of the
wound. They went before the grand jury, and
had Green indicted for murder. He was
tried, convicted and sentenced TO life imprison-
ment
For several years Green has been confined at
the Pratt coal mines, near this city. Some
time ago his wife heard that Smith was still
alive. Green succeeded In interesting men,
Der of the State Board of Prison Inspectors in
his case. The Inspector went to work and
soon found Smith at Dallas. Ga, where he has
formalities are complied with Green will be re-
leased from prison.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
A COW DIES OF GRIEF
Because of the Demise Of q Snake That
MIXED Her.

NEWTON. N. j., August 1h-Peter M. Larew,
farmer of unquestioned veracity who resides
near here, found that his COW was being
stealthily milked in the pasture field. ana
placed her in a pasture nearer home In order to
detect the thief. The COW seemed SO wild and
uneasy in her new location that Larew returned
her to the old pasture. whereupon the animal
snake came from a tree stump. coiled itself
around the cows hindquarters and sucked her
milk. t.
Larew then got his gun and awaited the re-
turn of the snake for another meal of milk,
when he seized a favorable opportunity and
shot the snakes head of. The cow then roared
and paved the earth. acted for several days as
if mad and finally died.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

NoLEss than !, 467 deserters are recorded
on the roll of the United States army for the
first half of the present year. Nearly all of
these were in the first year of their service,
and no such record of desertion has oc-
Cured for the last twenty years. The lot of
an American soldier cannot be such happy
one after all. although the amount of fight
ing to be done is certainly little.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
A CENTENARIAN DEAD.
She Could Describe the War Of 1912, In
which sho Lost Son.

ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE DrsPArcH.i
DEcKERTowN, August 16-Mrs. Heoecca
Sidnor died at the residence of her son-in-law'
Richard Sutton, in this town yesterday at the
age of lO4 years She was born on January 8,
I7S5, in wiretown, Warren county. N. j., and
was the mother of 13 children, five Of whom
survive her. Her death was caused by fall
received last Sunday.
Mrs. Sidnor was q remarkably active woman
for her years. She could not see to thread
needle. but she did a great deal Of sewing for
the family up to a short time before her death.
II was her custom to retire every night at
O'clock and she was always up at in the morn
ing. Since the death Of her husband, which
occurred about 40 years ago, she has always
smoked a pipe, sometimes as often as six or
eight times day. Her memory was remark
abiy good ana she could describe graphically
scenes of the War of 1Sl2, in which her SON
William lost his life.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
The World Might be Worse.

From the Altoona Times.s
Strange is the force of habit Much Of ones
life is made up Of habit Some become habit
ual falsifiers who would be guilty of no other
immortality. Some are given to one vice and
some to another, but it is an argument against
the doctrine of total depravity that no man Is
addicted to all the vices
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

IT seems strange that the French court
which tried General Boulanger, Count Dill
lon and Henri Rochefort in their absence,
did not sentence them to death instead of
imprisonment. The accused certainly would
have made no objection. They are all be-
yond the courts jurisdiction, and intend to
stay there.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
NATURES SILENT WITNESSES.
Trees That Sprang From n Grave. Accord.
ing to n Skeptic's Prediction.



From AL the Year Round.l
About five miles from the Hertfordshire resi-.
dence of the Marquis of Salisbury, at a place
called Tewin or Jewin, there grow from out Of
grave five large trees, about which there
hangs tale. 1t is said that Lady Grimestone,
during her lifetime. denied the existence of a
God, but added that If she found God when
she went hence five trees would grow from out
Of her grave In the natural order of events
her unbelieving ladyship died and was buried.
Singularly enough, five trees did grow from out
of the grave, splitting the masonry to pieces, SO
that it and the railings which were around be-
came perfect wreck.
How much truth there may be in the story
cannot say, but the slab bore, or did bear, the
following inscription: "Here lyeth inter'd the
body of the Right Honorable Lady Anne
Grimestone. wife of Sir Samuel Grimestone,
Bart, of Gorhambury, in Hertfordshire,
daughter of the late Right Honorable the Earl
of Thanet who departed this life Nov. q, l7l3,
in the GO year of her age" The circumstance
has frequently been quoted as affording in
dubitable proof of the immortality Of the soul.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
Education for the Red Man.

Surely, il ever the strong were bound to aid
the weak, we are bound to help the Indians.
If they can be induced to till lands and build
houses, the utmost encouragement should be
given them. If the youths can be induced to
accept education it should be placed within
their reach at any cost, for in this lies the hope
of modifying the Indian character. If they can
be induced to accept the protection Of the
American law, it Is wise policy TO put them
among American citizens. With the direct In
fuence of civilization they cannot fail to make
good citizens, better, certainly. than certain
socialistic ignoble classes that we harbor, pro-
tect and permit to defame our free principles.
NJ NJ.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

The members of the New Zealand House
Of Representatives are fully up to the
times. In the attempt to increase the mum.
Der of members one-third session of no
less than 76 hours occurred before adjourn
ment took place. Filibusters in our Con-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

WHAT the precise significance of the
readjustment of salaries in the Pittsburg
postoffice may be is not apparent upon the
face of the news THE DISPATCH prints
to-day. Some postofice employees will be
pleased, and some won't 1t is seldom we
can all be happy at once.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

MARION, IND, August la-F. M. StiIwell is
out $500. Yesterday he signed several checks
without filling out the amount, and left his
checkbook lying on his table: Later in the day
one of those checks, calling for $780, was cashed
at the Marion Bank, and the thief escaped with
the money before the fraud was discovered.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
Holding the Mirror Up to Nature.

From the Boston Herald.l
Susa Young Gates maintains that man can
never hear so much about his weaknesses and
faults as when he has two or three plain-spoken
wives holding the mirror up to nature. This is
Susa's excuse for polygamy, and it at least has
the merit of originality.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
A Condition That Confron,s Us.

From the st. Louis Globe Democrat
Europe furnishes about nine times as much
merchandise to Central and South America as
the United States does This is condition OF
things which should not be allowed to con-
tinue. This country ought to sell as much
goods to the nations of this continent as
Great Britain, and win do 1t, II Congress takes
as much interest in the matter as it should.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

The Pittsburg baseball team has taken
on the similitude of very unreliable mule.
1T kicks hardest when least expected.
New York went down behind the hoofs yes
terday. s..
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
A Dernier Resort.

From the Terre Haute Express.1
Several new flying machines have been re-
ported in the last few days. If the Brown
Sequard elixir proves a success our only oppor.
tunity of getting above the clouds will be to
take our chances in the flying machine.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
A Dreadful Warning.

DreuuIul Warniu8s
From the New York Telegram.l
A physician warns people against examining
the naked arc of the electric light with the
naked eye, lest they be attacked by blepharo-
spasm, central scotomata or chromatopla"
This sounds like very dreadful warning when
the country is at peace.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
Added to the Little List.

ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE DIsPATCH.1
WASHINGTON. August Is. - Fourth-class
postmasters were appointed to-day as follows:
Mrs. r. j. Wright at Calvin, Huntington coun-
ty; James d. thurman, Gllpin, Indiana county;
II. E Claws. Jolleytown, Greene county.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
Cleveland In Clover.

Eugene Field In Chicago News.l
Ex-President Cleveland continues his anus.
ing practice of taking weeks vacation every
fortnight. We have always feared that if he
found his way into e clover patch he would eat
himself to death.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
The Ties That Bind.

From the Detroit Free Press.i
A company has already been incorporated to
build railroad TIN ough the ceded Sioux lands.
The American people are bound together by
no ties more strong or etfectual than those Of
the railroad.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
TRI-STATE TRIPLES.

A BLIND snake, which was about Is inches
In length, was killed the other day near
Parkersburg. The man who killed 1t said that
he knew the snake was blind because he poked
a stick In its face several times before he dis
patched it and the reptile did not even wink.
Another demonstration that it was sightless
was the careful manner in which It crawied.
"DEsIGNsfor funerals Of fresh-cut flowers"
is one of the unconventional signs In Philadel-
phia.
IN some unaccountable manner the tele-
graph, telephone and electric railway wires gor
in contact night before last in Erie. There
was dazzling electric display, all the tele-
phone bells were rung, the f1re departments
was called out, number Of coils burnt out at
the phone exchange, etc.
A BEAN stalk in the garden OF B. H. VIM
mer, Bethlehem, bears pod 2411 inches IN
length. The bean is of the asparagus (pole
BEAM variety.
A BIG bear pursued q party of berry-pickers
near Huntsville, Pa, ON Monday.
'.Ir's very strange" SAID dissatisfied steu-
benville lady At the store, 'that with all the
water we've had this summer the water-melons
are not larger"
A coMMorroN among the sparrows occupy
Shafer, at Rainsburg, Bedford county, was
ance ct ths top of the chimney.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
Prof Elias I.oomis.

NEW HAVEN. CONN.,, August Is. ELIAS Loomls,
LII. D., Professor of Natural Philosophy and
Astronomy, died at the New Haven Hospital late
this afternoon.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
AM ExcaIlent ssbi eco.

From the Denver Times.I
An excellent application OF the new elixir Of
life would be to the State Of Nevada.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

Two Of the so-called weak clubs In the
National League took hold of the New
York and Boston clubs yesterday and pitt
lessly fell upon them.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

Western Authorfty SpeukE
From the Omaha world-Herald.1
Sour mash will hold its own in this country
agains. any elixir they can invent.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
Uncle Sans Guardianship.

We see in the race a needy humanity, and
because they are Indians all the good OF life
should not be withheld from them. The Indi-
ans are called wards of the Government, but
no Indian ward ever comes of age. Uncle Sam
is stern guardian and forever debars his ward
from making any contracts except through the
Great Father at Washington" An Indian
may not make a contract with a white man ex-
cept through the Government No court Of
his creating can try case where an Indian Is
one party and white man another. He can
not convey an acre Of land without the. ap-
proval Of the United States.
There Is something wrong, and always has
been. in our treatment Of the Indian. In Can
ada there are over 100000 Indians. They are
called "the Indian subjects of Her Majesty"
and are held amenable to the law and protected
by IL. History says on our side the line the
nation has spent 5000, 900 in Indian wars, while
Canada, with the same greedy Anglo-Saxon
race, has not spent one dollar and has never
had massacre. Official reports, dating back
to colonial days, show the oppression of the
lndian-broken treaties and unjust measures
practaced by the whites.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16
The Future of the Indian.

The greatest source of disturbance Is the
frail, legal tenure by which the red man holds
his lands. The Indians the mselves are divided
as to the best course they should pursue re-
garding the disposition of their surplus lands.
The opening of the Oklahoma country to white
settlers after years of attempts to effect an oc-
cupancy proves that what the white man
wants he gets.
oklahoma boomers passed over thousands
of acres Of as desirable lands, but their special
craving was for Indian lands, and "lands kept
out of market" Congress finally came to their
rescue, and the very paradise of the In
dian country is now being grasped
and dominated over by hungry land
agents and inscriptions citizens. The Terri
tory is hemmed in on all sides by encroaching
States; the whites now command the center
er or later take tine Territory. The question is:
How can the red man be protectedY The In
dian, as member of the nation and not for
eigner Is entitled to the privileges and protec-
ton Of our free country. Dwellers of every
land, from Scandinavia to Japan, have Chris
tian welcome to our shores, Surely our ma
tional Christianity should make this land a safe
possessed, treat them as human beings and
protect them by American law. Men and
women are sacrificing their lives for the heath
en- of other lands; Christianity Is donating mill
ions Of dollars to this end, while our own
wards" too many Of them, are living in the
dark superstitions of their torefathers In an
educational sense, the older Indians will not be
benefited, except through the influence Of their
children. It will take years of experience to
produce any shining results. but the sooner we
begin 1t the sooner will the civilization Of the
Indian cease to be theory.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-16

A BIG bear pursued a party Of berry-pickers
near Huntsville, Pa, on Monday.