The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1889-05-09
Money ana the Dude.


that money has launched upon society. the
dude is the most prominent. He is repre-
sented by three different species: the impe
cunOus middle class 'and 0pulent. The
gents furnishing stores. etc. This class are
endowed with fair quantity of brains. but
have soft spot in their craniums for dress.
AS the salaries paid by most of the mercan-
to adorn themselves with the cheapest and
gaudiest trash: and in order to appear as
dandies. have to stint the inner man and
satisfy the cravings Of hunger at ten cent
pampered by Ogling and annoying the in
dustriOuS shop girl. After pollutng the
atmosphere by smoking three for five ci-
gar and endeavOring to get knowledge of
the drama by appearing as part of the @s-
thetic audience in 'nigger heaven at the
theatre, they are to be seen vending
their way to some antiquated and
isolated garret to rest their Wearied frames
on adilapidated couch.
The middle class dudes are more ntelli-
gent and have received good education. but
have ali unfortunate bump in their skulls con-
tanning albuminOus matter which calls for
garing apparel. They are to be found in
insurance, brokers' and law offices, holding
positions which their educational qualifica-
tiOns enable them to fill. The salaries re-
ceived by them being somewhat larger than
dudes number one, they can afford to in
dulge in tinery of better description, eat at
two and a-half- day restaurants, and sleep
in all the imaginary aesthetic glory in a dol
lay.a- week room in crowded tenement.
They satisfy the craving for the weed i'm
putting from a common clay pipe in their
boudoirs: but in public all aroma of burn
ing hay, emanatng from the cheapest ci-
garette in the trade. follows in their wake.
Their evenings are spent in variety thea
tres. feasting on the charms of the female
performers. whose vOluptuOus forms are be-
decked in abbreviated gauZe dresses.
The Opulent dude is the star. TO be
complete success in sunflower dudedom, he
must be an anglo maniac. His first step
towards becoming full-fledged goose. is
when he is sent to college. away from the
sheltering care of the maternal wing. Then
it is that he begins to put on style. His
''Old gent" as he now terms him, supplies
him unsparingly with money, pays the tai
lOr, and numerous other outrageous bills.
suppOsng when doing so he is giving his
sOn-the apple of his eye-a fOOthOld in So
ciety. The character of this brainesS STU
dent is soon discovered by his shrewder
cOlegiates and he becomes prOdigiOus
sucker" He is baited with fattery.
elected to positions he cannot till, but is
buOyed up by some of his more intelligent
chums. He blows himself in grand
cfv,1n hi iofn TO
wine dinners and suppers; and when he
gets about half tull of champagne the fun
commences. He is toasted, and his charac-
ter and personal appearance are eulOgiSed
in the most fatterng OratOry; and when
his reply is received. consisting of a few
gutteral sounds mixed up with meaningless
and unintelligibe sentences, the climax ar
rives, he resumes his seat amid the most
uproarious laughter, hangs his empty head
with cOmplacent mOdeSty, receiving the
merriment as cOngratulatOry-a which
the hilarious company sing Hes jolly
Good Fellow" and the elated dude is car
ried to his room and put to bed. after, as he
expresses it. having a ''Dwasted good
twime."
The college days come to an end, and he
returns to the parental roof to be embraced
be his doting ma After the excitement of
his return has subsidized. time hangs heavy
on his hands, he becomes a member of a
''cwub, "and that becoming irksome. his pa
and ma are impOrtuned to secure him some
thing to do. All he is capable of doing is
to occupy stool in some office; his rich
uncle is appealed to, or perhaps brother
in-law who has influence in some large mer-
camille or banking house. and the dude is
secured position. He is perfectly help
less among the simplest duties in an
Office. but his status in society enables him
to retain his elevated perch unmolested He
passes away his time sucking his penhOlder