davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

The several climates of Florida, Colorado
and California have each been much pre-
scr;bed for sufferers from lung disease, yet
Thousands of the natives in those states die
of this fatal malady. A far more reliable
remedy is to be had in every drug store in
the land and one that can be used at home;
Q remedy which is sold by druggists under
the manufacturers' posifiue gu0rantee that,
If taken in time and given fair trial, it will
efecta cure, or money paid for it will be
promptly returned. We refer to that world
famed remedy for consumption (or lung
ecrofula) know as DR.. Pierce's Golden Med
ical Discovery. It is the only remedy for
this terrible disease possessed of such supe-
rior curative properties as to warrant its
manufacturers in selling it under guaran-
tee.
Don't hawk. and blow and spit, but use
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

"Mamma," said Four-rear-old, reflective
ly, "did God make me?" 'YSs, Harvey
answered mamma, soberly. God made
you for mammals little boy" ''Humph,'
said Harvey, after little while, God did
a pretty good job that time, didn't he!"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Editor: II want you to take charge OF
the queries column. New man (modestly)
Il fear l cannot answer the questions our
readers would ask" ''Oh, yes you can.
Most of the questions are from college grad
yates and they are very easy"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Everybody should learn to swim'' is the
plant of the season again. So they should,
but you Just watch the papers this summer
and see how many swimmers are drowned.
The man who can't swim takes no risks.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11
How do YOU like your new clerk,

Friend: ''How do you like your new clerk,
Razzle?''
Great Merchant 'He is all right in every
respect, evcept that he Is so punctual. Pm
afraid I shall have to discharge him for
that one fault"
Friend: "You surprise me. Do you con-
slider punctuality fault?"
{ Great Merchant: "Yes. You see he is
punctually one hour late every morning"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Clerk; "Isn't the price of this box OF
stravberries low enough for your"
Customer: ''Oh, the price is low enough.
The bottom of the box isn't though"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11
Hoods 9Araanarilla

''Mary" said Miss Ponsonby to her maid;
''you must really never again allow Fido to
get ON my bed" '.T've done my best to
''for its awful" 81 should say it was aw-
full" returned Miss Ponsonby. Il just
found bed-bug on the poor little thing
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

When BaAy w.s aek, - gsSs h~ Csseosss
when she vas Child, - cried for Caseor,a.
when shs became nis. ahs chung TO CastosfA.
VIVA - hAA Chldroa. shssavs tAsm Caseosaas
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Mrs. A.: ~ found q one hundred dollar
bill today"
Mrs, b.: "Did you try to find the own
er" =, =.
Mrs. A.: 'No, hid it in the family BIZ
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Ned: '.Are you going to have any fire
works Fourth of July Arthur
Arthur: ''Well. no; that is, no special
display. You know, Ned, / married Miss
Vixen two years ago. We have fireworks
over at our house pretty much all the time"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Correspondence editor: "Here's young
woman wants to know whether she should al
low her young man to take her arm. hardly
know how to answer it, The religious ed
itor: ut all depends on whether she has
plump arm"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11
Why the MIX Soured.

@The milk that Igot of You this morB-
ing soured."
You didn't get it of me, Ma'am."
"Well, Bridget did. It's all thf
same.
@No, it isn't. Ma'am. She's so ugly
that she'd make any milk turn sour.
Now, rs you are very handsome, why,
when you get the milk. Ma'am-"
Il didn't think of that! I'll get the
milk myself after this"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

''Hurry to the door, Mary, and let Mr..
Smith in. He has rung twice." That isn't
Mr.. Smith: it Is the other young gentle
man." ''Well, wait a minute, then must
change the photographs on the mantel."
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Merritt: ''How was it your mother didn't
whip you for hitting her with that bali!
Little Johnnie: ''Cause, l told her
thought it was dad I was firing at.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11
S;,uctum MYSTERIES,

Humorist's wife. ''What in the world are
you sending all these mother-in-law and
plumber jokes to the Daily Blowhard for?
They are as old as the hills"
Humoris:: .'Yes. my dear; but the editor
who selects the humorous matter for that
paper is a young fellow just out of col
lege, ard they'll be new to him."
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

De Smythe: 'There was only one thing
ever asked of De Jones that he refused"
Merit: 81 am surprised to hear that, for
he's very generous. It must have been some
thing unreasonable" De Smytha: 81 asked
him for some money he had borrowed"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Wibble: 81 wonder if it would pay to
start dime museum in this town."
Wabble: 81 doubt it. The dime museum
business is very uncertain-full OF freaks,
you know"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

A(somewhat illiterate): II read some
thing in the paper about idiots. Are they
human beings!"
B: Certainly, they are human beings
like yourself"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Wife: 'John, what's that unearthiy
noise upon the roof, and the clatter of boot
lacks and klndGng wood!'
John (drowsily): '.I'm not positive, but
reckon they are holding a National Skat
Convention"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Henderson,: 81 don't like your friend
Brown He is positively rude, He went so
far last evening as to tell me Twas a jackass.
1t was entirely uncalled for" Fogg: Il
agree with you, my boy, it was entirely
supcrfiuOuS,"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Lady: ssWas there any thing strange
about the death of my dear doggie.
Bridget: "Yis, mum. The darllnt niver
uttered a wurrud of complaint
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Miss vaign: Il always attract attention
on the street,
Miss Caustique: '.Any one would who
dresses with such taste"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

1t is told of a pious, well-meaninS man
here that upon one occasion in Sunday
school he prayed: "And bless the superin-
tendent of the school, who has led such a
long, tedious Christian life." Even the su-
perintendent could not suppress a smile.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

In the course of q prayer, Scotch Pres.
byterian preacher recently said: "And
| bless the poor; and bless the rich who after
| their funerals will be loor."
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Il is well that the South Ford fishing club
should make an orphan asylum Of their club
house, but the generosity that provinces the
orphans before making the gift Is entirely
too enterpYisiuQ.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Damon: 'Your wife says she loves me"
Pythias: 81 don't care. She's the greatest
liar on earth"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

A fair exchange is no robbery, unlessit be
q church fair exchange.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

When pa gets to burning natural gas in
the parlOr she will have to be very cautious
with her flame.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Mrs. Fangle: "How is it that cireuses new
er come up TO their advertisements?" Mr..
Fangle: because they are not billed that
way"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

A calf with three horns is a recent curios-
ity at Lenox, 10. And in a prohibition state
too.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

A writer who whea young, was very green,
In time grew blue, years passed DER his head
You ask what caused this transformation scene?
The man grew blue because he was not read.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

'sWhat a pity you don't have looking
glasses all along the walls-then one could
see ones self as one went round, you
know" 'Why, miss, if you were to see
yourself in looking-glass just now you'd
never git on 'orse again"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

What cursed luck! Just as l had made up
my mind to be an out -and-out pessimist this
ioy must needs come in the way.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Mrs, Pilgrim: '.Now, these boys air sis
ter's." Census taker: 'sNo; you mean
brother.." Mrs. Pilgrim: "No. sir; l mean
lives next door in the red house."
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

A clergyman doesn't claim a monopoly of
his business when he announces himself as
soul agent.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Daniel was safe in the lions den, but it's
odds in favor of the proposition that the
flies walked him up at O'Clock In the
morning.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

One by one the roses fall, but "TansilPs S
Punch" &c. Cigar outlives them all.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

If all men wore flannel uhirts in summer
the Chinese would have to go.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

The ugliest old maid may listen to pop
on the Fourth, and yet show characteristic
aversion to peppers.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

For "A years Dobbins' Electric Soap has
been imitated by unscrupulous soap makers.
Why? Because it Is best of all and has an
immense sale. Be sure and get Dobbins'
and take no other. Your grocer has it, or
will get It.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Ed: 81 called on female doctor to-day"
Ned: "Did you have her treat your" Ed:
'.No; she wasn't pretty enough"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Michigan must be an awful state. man
in Port Huron has just sold the city IL acres
of land to be used as . cemetery, provided
that no liquor shall be sold on the premis-
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

If you want man to think you are smart,
you have only to make him think you think
he is smart.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

He had declared his passion and was fe-
verishly svaiting her reply. Mr.. Samson,
she said, and her voice sounded like kneu,
'1the letter which you % kindly offered -
post for me two weeks ago tonight nsve1
reached its destination. Farewell"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Biologists say that boulders make sand.
Observation teaches that sand makes bolder.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

BROMLEY, it was lucky that newsboy found
your wallet, wasn't it?' "Yes, it had SIC, 900
in it." "But you only gave the boy 70
cent piece" Why, bless my soul! thought
IL Was a quarter"
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

TIE habit of taking ether is said to
be extremely prevalent in the North Of
Iyoland;
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

It would be pleasing to know that Greely's
rain is over.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

The butcher is fat, jolly man, who is IN
the habit of taking life as it comes.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Norristown Herald: The snakes a man
aces when he is wrestling with a severe at
tack of delirium tremens are not water"
snakes. This is reliable.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

People who live in the country have a
very gnatty appearance.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

It is industry more than worth that hits
boy up in this world. A boOt-black may
shine in society if he will stoop to conquer.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

The Tombstone IL about the only thing
that can Sand upEight and lie ON ifs fsos q
tie same time.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

If afflicted with sore eyes, use DIR. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it. 25c
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Orsesn, shs Paradiss a FssDsrA
MA. squahls elina1A sessoa aaA asenAe.s essp,: ~
ftu raia grass saA sock sssssy n the vss4 tenn
= r do M AiArs ~ Oreesa Inntgrassa 1sese
reEiaaA. OrsGDa-
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Don't hawk. and blow and spit, but use
DR.. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. OF druggists.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

Smoke the shernsas sssar straight lOe Havana Sega
TOR SC.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

The first match made IN heaven was Lu-
r,ifor
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

both motions should be stopped-only
the one turning the world on its own
axis. There was no reason why the
halting of the earth should have Jared
and disarranged the whole universe.
Joshua right and God right; infdelity
wrong every time. l knew it would be
wrong. thank God that the time has
come when Christians need not be scared
at any scientific exploration. The fact
is that religion and science have struck
hand in eternal friendship, and the
dee"er down geology can dig and the
hig er mp astronomy can soar, all the
Jesus Christ have stormed the observa-
tories of the worlds science, and from
the highest towers have flung out the
banner of the cross, al d Christianity to-
night, from the observatories of Albany
and Washington, stretches out its hand
toward the opposing scientific weapon,
crying: There is none like that; give
it mel" was reading this afternoon
OF Herschel, who was looking ut q meteor
through q telescope, and when it came
over the face of the telescope it vas SO
powerful he had to avert his eyes. And
1t has been just SO that many an astron-
omer has gone into an observatory and
looked up into the midnight Heavens,
and the Lord God has, through some
swinging world. famed upon his vision,
and the learned man cried out: who
am l? Undone! Unclean! Have mercy,
Lord God!"
Again, 1 remark, that the travelling dis
position of the world, which was sverse
to morals and religion, 10 to be brought
on our side. The man that went down
to Jericho and fell amidst thieves was q
type Of a great many travellers. There
Is many . man Who is very honest at
home who, when he il abroad, has his
honor filched and his good habits stolen.
There are but very few men Who can
staE the stress of an expedition. Six
veeIs at . Watering place has damned
many man. In the olden times God
forbade the traveling Of men for the
purposes Of trade becalse Of The cor.
SaD1tAa t1Aueneoe aA1oaains - 4 aood
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11

how matters nave cnangeO anu now 8AA
the proceeds of that farm go toward the
missionary cause. One of the finest
printing presses ever built was built for
the express purpose of publishing inf
del tracts and books. Now it does
lieve that the time will come when, in
commercial circles. the voice of Christ
will be the mightiest of all voices,
and the ships of Tarshish will bring
presents and the Queen of Sheba her
glory and the wise men of the East their
myrrh and frankincense. I look on
upon the business men of our cities and
rejoice Mt the prospect that their tact,
and ingenuity, and talent will, after
q while, all be brought into the service
of Christ. 1t will be one of the might
lest of weapons. There is none like
that; give it me-"
Now, if what I have said be true, away
with all downheartedness! If science is
to be on the right side, and the travelling
disposition of the world on the right
side, and the learning of the world on
the right side, and the picture making
ON the right side, and the business acu-
men and tact of the world on the right
side-thine, o Lord, is the kingdom!
Oh, fall into line, all ye people! 1t is .
gr8uQ g0lQR 10 D6 Ii SuCu ou oIIuy, huu
led by such a commander, and on the
way to such q victory. If what have
said is true, then Christ is going to
gather up for himself out OF this world
everything that is worth anything, and
there will be nothing but the scum left.
A proclamation of amnesty goes
forth now from the throne Of God,
saving: -Whosoever will, let him come.
However long Won NAV have wandered,
however great your sins may have been,
-whosoever will, let him come. Oh,
that could marshal all this audience
on the side of Christ. He is the best
friend q man ever had. He is SO kind
He is SO lovely, SO sympathetic. can
not see how you can stay away from
Him. Come now and accept His mercy.
Behold Him as He stretches out the arms
of His salvation, saying: Look unto
me, all 70 ends of the earth, and be ye
saved; for am God" Make final choice
now. Ye will either be willows planted
by the water courses or the chat which
the wind driveth away.
Dodge City times., 1889-07-11
GENERAL MARKETS.

KANSAS CITY, July 8.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-06-16
The Supervisors,

SATURDAY, June Is, 1889.
The Board Of Supervisors met to-day,
all the members present.
The Auditor was allowed to redeem
the outstanding bonds of the San Fer
nando school district to save interest yet
to accrue, the holder of the bonds hav-
ing agreed.
A warrant was ordered drawn for SO. .43
in favor of FL. E. Smith, to balance his
account for March.
The Courthouse bonds were directed
to be sent by Wells, Fargo & Co., and
the warrant therefor to be returned by
them from the State Treasurer.
Supervisor Martin was appointed q
committee of one to act in the matter of
the San Fernando avenue bridge.
The bid of w. Biddome for 50. 900 Old
River district bonds at par was accepted.
Consideration of the Recorders petit
ton for standing deputies, was set for
Saturday, the 22nd instant.
The Chairman was appointed COM
mittee of one, with power to replace the
safe at present in the Recorders office if
necessary.
The Auditor was directed to cancel inn
mediately the appointment of +. Lau-
terio, under indictment by the Grand
Jury for issuing warrant without
authorization.
Adjourned to the 22nd instant.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-06-16
A DISTILLERY.
A Proposition to Establish One In
Los Angeles.

Proposition to Establish One In
Los Angeles.
1t is stated that within very short
space of time there will be distillery of
whisky and alcoholic liquors in operation
in Los Angeles the year round. The
model winery and distillery on Macy
street, just across the river, owned by
Mr.. Chas. Stern, is to be devoted to this
purpose. Heretofore it has been run
but about three months year, and the
product has been wine and brandy, made
from grapes. The other nine months in
the year the still has been idle. 1t is
stated that Mr.. Stern has determined to
run his still the year round, and to man
ufacture alcoholic liquors from grain.
The capacity of his still will be
about forty tons of grain a day,
and as the only machinery
he will have to purchase is crusher,
the expense of starting will not be great.
Mr.. Stern does not propose to allow any,
part of the material to go to waste, and
will fatten cattle on the grains after they
have been used in the still. He intends
to not only supply the Los Angeles
market but to sell his goods In other
commercial centers, and has already
written to Washington to obtain partic-
ulars as to the requirements OF the COY,
ernment in the matter. Mr.. stern Will
go East in the course of few days to
make arrangements.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-06-16
THE BANKING BUSINESS.
What the state Com mIsstOners Say
About 1t.

Messrs. A. W. Potts, Jas. A. Thomp-
son and w. w. Moreland, State Bank
Commissioners, have been in the city
for the past few days attending to the re-
quirements of their offices. Hearing
that they had concluded their labors
and we're about to leave town, HERALD
man called on them yesterday and had
the pleasure of few minutes converse
ton in the Hollenbeck lobby.
"We have found everything most
satisfactory" said one of the Off
cials, "and have been much pleased with
our visit. 1t is true that in this part of
the country during the past year deposits
generally have somewhat diminished,
but in the savings banks we have found
a marked increase. This is attributable
to the fact that during the boom times
the laborers were putting their money
into small homes, whereas now
they are established, and are
commencing to capitalize. You
would be surprised how marked this has
been, for hitherto we have always noted
that Southern California WAS not favor
able TO savings banks.
"As to the general nature of our in
vestigations, they are as follows: We in
spect all incorporated banks and receive
reports from all private banks, and also
from national banks by courtesy. There
are about 2l5 banks in the State at pres
ent, about $50 of which are incorpora-
tions, 35 national and 80 private. 1t is
impossible to give any figures nowas the
accounts are all made up to the 1st Of
July, and we are just closing up our
trip preparatory to making our reports.
This much though can be said, through
out the entire State the financial condi-
tion Of the banks is very fine, and in this
section unusually 80, for the accounts are
very carefully kept and are remarkably
healthy. The entire State is on pros
porous basis and the wealth of this will
be undoubtedly q marked increase Of
business within the next few months.
The crops are good and there will be a
big wheat harvest, especially in the
country north of Merced."
Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-06-16
CHURCH FAIR.
The Statement of It's Financial
Success.

Success.
The following is statement OF the
financial success of the fair held at
Armory Hall some time ago for the erec-
ton of the new Catholic Church at East
Los Angeles:
Grab-Box,, under charge Of Mrs. Ponet Mrs.
Jesurun and Mrs. Worrell, $676.75.
Candy booth, Mrs. Hughes Mrs. Fitzgerald
and Misses Malouey, $565.lO.
Ice cream booth, Mrs Mcdonald and Mrs.
Fancy table, Mrs. Hsney and Mrs, Murphy,
$349
Soda fouutsin-Misses Mullen, Ganahl and
Hat It snd-Misses Crowley and Dolenty.
Lunch table-Mrs. Mechesney. Mrs. Chal
mers, Mrs. straub, and Miss Flaherty
Admission. $23s 25.
Prize wbeel-Miss Philipson and Mansfield,
Postoffice-Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. sweet,
Flower booth-Mrs. Mesmer, Mrs. McMen-
omy and Mrs Weinshanks; 5000.
Fish pond-Miss Grotzinger. S60.65.
Fancy table. No. misses Vignes, $40 90.
Shooting Gallery = Messrs. Chalmers aud
Nordholdt, S32 .25.
Gypsy bo pth-Mrs. Kannon, Misses Reeve.
Happ, Matfeld, c lansey, $50 25.
Total il come, So, 166:4O.
Total expenditure, $402.55.
Balance, So, 2,762.S5.
OF the articles rafEled at the fair the
following remain unclaimed:
Holstein heller, 122; rattan rocker. 118; suit
doll 8; dinner set, "a, harp, "a.
Apropos of the statement of the
finances may be allowed, in the name
of the Catholics of East Los Angeles, to
thank most sincerely those who by their
kind endeavors aided to make the fair a
success. More especially do wish to ex-
press my appreciation of the kind and
untiring eff9rrs of the ladies' who took
charge Of the different booths, and of the
courtesy and kindly feeling shown by
members of the press. The people OF the
East Side will not be unmindful Of favors
received, and will not be slow to render
any assistance they can to any charitable
cause for which they may be appealed to.
P. HARNETT,
Rector OF the Sacred Heart Church.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-06-16
SALE OF BONDS.

GENTRAL IRRIGATION DISTRICT, COLUSA
" county, Cal.-Notice is hereby given by the
Board of Directors of Central Irrigation District
that said Board WILL at its office in the town of
Maxwell, i'll the county of Colusa, State of Cali
fornia, on the 10th day of July, in the year
1889, at O'Clock p. m: Of said day, sell to the
highest responsible bidder for cash, in gold
coin of the United States, three hundred bonds
Of the said district, to the amount Of one hun
dred and fifty thousand dollars, being part of
an issue of bonds aggregating the sum OF seven
hundred aud fity Thousand dollars; that sealed
proposals for the purchase of said bonds will
be received BY said Board till the day and hour
Aforesaid, at which time said Board will open
the proposals and award the purchase of said
bonds to the highest responsible bidder; but
said Board reserves the right to reject all bids,
and will In no event sell any of said bonds for
less than ninety per cent. OF the face value
thereof. Said bonds are dated the LIST day of
July, in the year 1883, and bear interest at the
rate of six per cent. per annum, payable semi
annually. Any interest accruing between said
date and the date of the sale and delivery of
said bonds shall be credited before delivery
o., 80 Sat ..e.--i.,n at..ehe -Hs
bonds r. DETsAPPE
Secretary q said BOARD
Dated June IL. 1883 ieISt4
Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-06-16

from Ogden to Sioux City. That
it will go through is certain, for $50 miles
have been graded and over $3.50, 900 30
far expended. At Sioux City the South
ern Pacific would have connections with
three lines-the Illinois Central, the
Chicago, milwaukee and st. Paul and
the st. Paul and Minneapolis. Mr..
Donald MacLesn, the president Of
the Wyoming Improvement Company,
which is building the Short Line"
is now in San Francisco pre-
sumably for conference with
the Southern Pacific officials regarding
the matter. Should the deal go through,
the Southern Pacific will, by it, get a
route to the East 100 miles shorter than
that now enjoyed via the Union Pacific,