The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-22

/ L II but Iran ieIt Nv CEedtuftb thdb tTdhi,
is the Upshot of Ewes rash proceedin';
is the Voice that expelled her from Eden;
VS. the Warning this story conveys;
/ Y is eX perience. not worth what one pays;
Yis mans learning for Adams first state:
is for Zigzag 'twizt free will and fate
HUSBANDS, STAND up
Two Ways OF Acting When You Come uome--
Things You Shoald Do and Those You
Should Not Do.
There is so much excellent advice
given to wives, suppose, for a change,
we turn around and read the hus-
bands nice little manual of correct
behavior. 1t is high time some one
took them in hand; but, although /
havehad my eye upon them for a
good while, l have been bothered to
finda ripe opportunity.
In the first place, to plunge right
into the midst of things without
further waiting, how do you go
home to your wife at night? Chap
tiers have been written as to how she
F, ought to receive you; nowlet me say
a word about the other side of the
question. When you find, tired lit
tie woman who has been so hard at
work all day with five babies and an
incompetent girl, callers, and miscel-
laneous jobs of mending, pastry
making and picking, that she had
no time to curl her hair and put on
her bestgown to meet you, what do
you do?
WHICH IS YOUR WAY?
Do you, like dear old sympathiz-
ing fellow, take her worn face into a
warm embrace and whisper in her
ear: 'Never mind, dearie; have got
home, and we'll share the cares for
the rest of the day. You go and
rest yourself while l put Johnnie and
Trot and baby to bed?" Do you
see that she sits in the easiest chair
while you skip around and minister
to her wants? Do you keep silent
while she reads the evening paper Ito
herself, and are mindful of draughts
and slamming doors while she takes
her ease in slippered content? Do
the stars dance the Newport, and
does the moon sing psalm tunes?
just about as much as you do all
this. You expect the hushed home.
and the siesta with the paper, and
the slippers for yourself, to be sure,
and if you don't get them you think
you're terribly abused, and ten to
| one founce off to the club to escape
the noise and confusion, but you
never take it into your head to con-
slider that the day has been just as
long, and just as busy, and q thou
sand times moro full of petty cares
for her as for you.
You bolt into the house, and the
first thing you say is: "Why isn't
supper ready? Pm as hungry as a
houndp' "Great ScottI Can't you
keep that child quiet?" or, what's
the use of burning so much coal?
Turn off the damperl You are enough
to ruin VanderbuiltP' That's the
keynote of the song you sing, and
vet you think it is dreadful if she ever
makes a remark harsher than the
bleat of a lamb. Suppose you had
been hanson cab driver, board
of trade man, cook in q restaurant,
cash boy for dry goods house, a
kindergarten teacher and q hospital
nurse all combined for the whole day
long, wouldn't you be more tired,
and wouldn't there be more excuse
for your irritability than when you
have simply attended to single sys-
tematized branch of business.
A woman is required to be every
thing from a reception committee to
receive calls in the parlor, to nurse
in the nursery, and a chief executive
in the kitchen, while a business man
devotes himself to a single trade or
profession.
DON'T BE AFRAID OF "sPooNING."
And next, how do you entertain
your wife evenings? If you were in
vited into a neighbours house to
spend a couple of hours with his wife
and daughter, how would you enter
tain them / wonder? Why, you
would puta posy in your buttonhole,
and slick up your hair, and blow a
little perfume out of the atomizer all
over yourself, and throughout the
evening you would overflow with
bright anecdotes and be so racy and
charming that after you had gone
away every body would say: "What |
perfectly delightful man Mr.. Perkins
isl What good company
Now let us see, sir, how you en-
terrain your wife. You stand in
front of the fire and pick your teeth |
with wooden toothpick until she
starts to put the children to bed,
and every now and then you make a |
few cheerful remarks about the
scarcity of money and the general
cussedness of children who run
through shoes and clothes SO fast. |
When the time comes that all is still |
and every thing nicely adapted for
chat or agame, you draw out your
miserable newspaper and begin to
read. And you read that paper all
to your self, word for word, and line
for line, straight through from edi-
torial to market report. as if it con-
tanned the secret of youth, wealth |
and eternal salvationl In the same
way one might drink soda water by
the pailful, or consume carmels by |
the toni
Newspapers, read by husbands in
selfish solitude, are answerable for
many wifely heartaches. Howmany
good stories and racy anecdotes do
you tell your wife to make herlangh?
How many roses do you pin on
your coat and how careful are you
of your appearance in the long even
ings, when there is nobody by but
her to be captivated by your charms |