Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

estipx Points of Etiquette and Usage
Visits of COndOIence-Thanking Ser.
vauts-CaIIing on Ladies'.
WRITTEN FOR THE DIsrATCH.l
Will YOU please state through the columns
of your paper whether it is proper or not for
a Young gentlemen to fan young lady at
the theater, and oblige?
1t would be considered lndecorous, unless
the lady is i'll, or is overcome by the heat
ID. On which side of a lady should a
gentleman walk in the street? (2).
Should gentleman in making brief call
leave his overshoes at the door if they are
not muddy?
ID. On the side of the curbstone. ~. He
should leave his overshoes in the hall under all
circumstances.
In making short call should the overcoat be
left in the hall and the hat kept in the handF
What is proper in this case? SIMPLEX.
The overcoat should be left in the hall; the
hat may be kept in the hand.
Please tell the writer through the Sunday
paper if, in paying visit of coincidence, it is
the correct thing to speak of the dead first, or
wait until the lady who is bereaved shall do SO:
In making such calls have sometimes passed
a pleasant half hour chatting upon ordinary
subjects, and upon leaving have expressed my
sympathy. whel the lady would burst into
tears, placing me in a very awkward position.
there exists a genuine intimacy between the
visitor and the bereaved, but cards with words
of sympathy may be sent When a visit is
made after death the name of the deceased
should not be mentioned first by the visitor.
POINTS ON TABLE ETIQUETTE.
~. What book is best to instruct as to the
correct way to arrange the table, and serve
dinner, luncheon, tea, ETC.; also arrangement of
sideboard, sidetable and the duties of a wait
ress? 1 want such book but have never seen
one. (2). Is it correct to have claret only,
mean no other kind of wine, for dinner, and
should it be served with every course and for
dessert also? Should the waitress pour it in the
glasses, or should each guest or person pour it
for himself?
(al How should peas, tomatoes and other
vegetables that cannot well be put on the plate
be served? a. How should chicken salad
be served, and in what kind of dish should it
be put on the table? Is it eaten with spoon?
(5) In sending a card by post should the
small envelope containing the card be placedin
large one? IGNORANT.
IL If we are not in error. the Bazaar Book
of Decorum' gives information of this nature.
(2) 1t is the usual way to-have more than
one kind of wine but at a less formal dinner
one kind only is often served. It is usual for
the waiter TO fill the glasses. a. Passed
around by the waiter. a. Lettuce salad only
should be served at dinner, and eaten with
lations. t5.) A second envelope is not neces-
sary.
Is it in accordance with table etiquette rules
TO say thank YOU when you ask for and one
passes you dish or asks you to replenish your
plate? Now maintain it is improper that one
thanks always, except at table, of course.
know we do not thank the servants, but ought
one guest thank another attable?
Every service of the kind should be ackuowl-
edged by thanks in some way. either with
thanks" expressed or by an inclination of the
head. According to English rule you say
thank you" to servants and Thanks to
equals.
NTRoDUCTIoNs AND sALUTATIoNs.
If a lady or gentleman are introducedin com
pany and afterward meet on the street. which
is proper for the lady to bow to a gentleman
first or the gentleman bow to the lady?
The lady must salute the gentleman first. A
gentleman is not expe cted to recognize lady
in public until she has recognized him.
~ 1 live in a small quiet city, where though
we have many parties and balls vet we do not
use such strict formality as people do in larger
cities; as for example, in a ball given recently
in small hall, although no gentleman escorted
a lady hither, vet each one desired to walk
home alone with some young lady. e. At the
close Of the walk should the lady necessarily
thank the gentleman for his escort? (3) Should
a lady after being asked by gentleman
to dance during the evening Ito whom she has
not been intToducedl speak to him when after
ward they meet? a. Is it proper for a lady to
ask to be introduced to gentleman by
cheap, fancy ball dress be suggested to a
wondering ignorant? PERPLEXITY,
a. A lady should return from a party or
ball with the same escort that took her there,
1t is not uncommon for gentlemen to escort
ladies home in the manner mentioned, but it
is not in accordance with the rules or customs
of the best society. (2) Certainly. (3.) In in
he ic iptr 20 4l,,o
lady; when there has been no introduction no
acquaintance can be assumed to exist. "a
No: gentlemen seek introductions to ladies'
(5.) A dress made OF white tarleton with silver
paper at intervals in the form of icicles for the
character of Winter is an effective and mex
pensive costume. The hair should be powder
ed. A dress of cream coIored cheese cloth
with silver fIlet for the hair is suitable for
any classical figure.
INFORMAL PARTIES.
At an informal evening party given in honor
of gentleman and his wife, should both as
sst the host and hostess in receiving the
guests, or should the ladies only receive
On ordinary occasions ladies only receive
but when party is given in honor of any per.
son or persons they should stand by the hostess
in order that the guests may be presented to
them.
S. K. wishes to know if it is not very bad
etiquette for two persons to converse with
each other in French, in the same room. or at
the dining table, in the presence of person or
persons, who do not understand the French
language, when they, at the same time, are
able to converse in English?
S. Z. is right 1t is exceedingly bad taste for
persons in company to converse in language or
to use terms which others are not acquainted.
If, at an informal party, gentleman who is
acquainted with most of the other guests, but
who is introduced to young lady for the first
time, should ask her to dance four or five times
in succession, would it be proper for the lady
to excuse herself at the end of that time or
must she wait for the gentleman to do so?
LILLIAN.
It is not proper, under any circumstances, for
q lady and gentleman to dance together four or
five times in succession. The lady should ex-
cuse herself in dancing even twice in success
sion with the same gentleman.
Q-) When ices are served at the table
shonld the dish be placed in the plate and the
cake to one side, or the dish placed to one side
and plate used for cake? ~ I am in
university town and the society somewhat
formal I met some young ladies at an enter
tainment. desire to call. What shall do?
SPECS.
ID Either method is proper. (2) You
cannot call on ladies under these circum.
stances without being invited to do So Some
person acquainted with the family must ask
permission to introduce you.
CALLING ON A FRIEND,
QD 1 have lady friend who is visiting in
the city. am not acquainted with the fai div
whom she visits. In calling on her should 1
ask for her friend? If so, when should askP
(2) In using finger bowls should you wipe
your fingers on the napkin you have been
using, or if napkin is placed under the bowls
instead Of doyley, are you supposed to use it?
(3) Should bananas, pears, and like fruit
be eaten with knife and fork? "a What
is the proper way to eat an orange? (5)
Conld you give me the name of firsJ-class
etiquette book? A READER.
~ Yes; you should send two cards up
when you call (2) You are to use the
napkin sent with the finger bowl. (3.) Fruit
is served with a silver fruit-knife. a.
Oranges may be served partly pealed and quar-
tered each guest taking portion when passed