Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-08-02
An ardent lover-the old topper.
Unofficial who has been f;roa

The proposed bathing-dresses for tho
ensuing season remind us strongly ot
the Fiji Island fashion plates in the o1d
biographies.
"WHEEE are all our great men,,
shouted red-faced orator. "Sellinc
CRATES right along" said a CRATE and
mantel dealer on the front bench.
DApPER young kid bought yacht
And up on the stern of her gacht,
She made a wild lunge
He backward did plunge
And down in the water he sacht
MAMMA (anxiously)-Don't you think
l had better go with you as chaperopes
Penelope-By no means, mamma 7
much prefer chap alone to chaper
one.
"YoU all remember the words Of
Webster" shouted the orator. "No
we don't" interrupted man in thu
gallery. "He has so many words can't
remember more than half of EN-"
CoUSsEL-Did you observe anything
particular about the prisoner? Witness
Yes, his whiskers. Counsel-What
did you observe with reference to his
whiskers? Witness-That he had
none.
MANAGER-What do you want Mr.
Wauktrak? Mr.. WI want you to raise
my salary. M.-Oh, that's all right
Mr.. Wauktrak, I'll do that Willingly. |
was afraid you were going to ask for
some cash down.
Ada fell down coal hole to-day
Luckily my hustle held me half way
until a gentleman rescued me. Elsie
Well? Ada--Well, some brute Of
coal man was in the cellar, and he stole
my shoes and stockings.
LACKING Confdence-Uncle Jane,
(who enjoys a "Barlzis" reputation-s
trife near)-" Bobby, what would von
do if I were to give you bright new
silver dollar? Bobby with a gasp
I'd bite it, Uncle, to see if it was gooa
II CAN'T make out, dearest, why you
married me-" said young bride during
the honeymoon. "Im not attractive
and I'm a shocking housekeeper.
never could use broom properly
"That is just the reason, my dear, re-
turned the husband, whose last wife
could
FR1END-Has some misfortune be-
fallen you, Uncle? Farmer-Yes, my
wife died las night. "she did? That's
bad. "Bet it air; but 1 wouldn't
minded SO much eff she'd hilt off til
ther crop wuz laid by. It's going tel
cost me SIS Ell month ter gid er han il
FER place"
Mrs. G1BsoS-I had letter frou
Willie to-day. Thomas. He says thai
he has had to go through course q
Professor Somebody's Greek roots
Mr.. Cts that so? Poor hoy! He
probably bilious. If I had him home
I'd put him through course of nj
herb tea.
MINISTER THUNDERBoLT-Ir regret
have to announce to the Sunday -schod
that the late Superintendent, Nj
Stealem, has left our beautiful city f1
a sojourn in Canada. Let this be
warning to the youth of the school
walk in the straight and narrow way
The school viii now join me in singl1
that beautiful song, "We shall meethl
over there
CARE you going to church to-day
asked Mr.. Orthodox of Mr.. Freeth'A
NO." said Mr.. Freethink emphaticall
I shall worship in the grand cathedf
of nature" Half an hour later NJ
Freethink was seated at a rickety de
table under dusty tree, listening
the notes of wheezy orchestrlon az
drinking something that looked Ill
beer.-Pa1ch.
WHAT'S HER ADDRESS?
She's decidedly homely; don't like her eses,
And the shade of her hair is the tint ue'.
Her complexion is bad, unattractiye her Gun
Her mouth is too large, her noseis too 1ilN'
But all of these things are but trities III !ie
Compared with true graces. Ill make ne'
wife; -.
For gave up my seat in the street car " Or RI,
And she looked at me kindly, and sa1u'
you, sir"
Omaha World
Il FRECkLE PRESCRIP1Io"
Irate Young LADY, paid you
for your much-vaunted prescrlpt'ou
freckles, and I am as freckled as o.,
Quack Doctor-You remember
you that you must wash your face
stump water-that is, water tl''
been standing in an old stump. q,
I. Y. Ii followed your dlfevt i
exactly, went to the country, hume
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