The Colfax chronicle., 1889-01-05

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Il Masculine breach OF promise case
will never succeed until there are fe
male juries. Baltimore american.
-lrascible wife to husband: 'Yor
are no match for me, SIR" Husband
| (weakly): s'If l am not, my dear, why
do you always want to scratch meP'-
Washington Critic.
Besides preventing consumption.
the boiling of milk is important other
wise. 1t reduces the amount of water
that has been pumped into the milk
cans.-LouisUil1e Cdmrier-s]09rnal.
When you know all about thing
1t loses all interest. 1t is the imagina-
tion playing upon suspicion that gives
it those beautiful colors which gossip
delights in.-San Francisco Chronicle.
"A man will dislocate his arm trying
to hit baseball, and spend an entire
day in debilitating efforts to make a
home run-but he won't beat a carpet.
Not much.--Mcrchan IrdUeler.
When foreign prince comes Of
age he generally receives many
presents of jewelry. This is as it should
be, for about the only thing that a
foreign prince ever does to distinguish
himself is coming of age.-JeweIer's
: Weekly.
IL see," said Mr.. Barkins, "that
there are million more women than
men in Germany" s'Yes," said Mr..
Smarty; ''they do that to evade the
military requirements of the German
Government. "-Harper's Bdzar.
"A white woman in Columbia, S. c.,
who was charged with her colored
husband with violating the law against
miscegenation, swore that she had
negro blood in her veins and secured a
disagreement of the jury.
"A health journal has started the
question, What is the best position in
which to sleepP" and dozen or more
willing voices are preparing to shout,
whats the matter with that of po-
liceman?"- ?"-FntIa.tct,hi Ledger.
1t is a good idea that the country
hotels have adopted of furnishing
their guests with both kerosene lamps
and candles. The kerosene lamps are
very useful in helping you to see the
light that the candles give.-Somer-
UilIe Journal.
"A late song is entitled "NObody
knows but mother" Generally speak
ing, nobody knows but mother what
kind of temper daughter has, but
after the honeymoon is over, the
young husband begins to find out
of what mother knew
Boston Courier.
She Tin great agitation) = 20,
George, hear papa at the front gate,
md he is apt to be impulsive when he
zones home late" He (reassuringly)
-'Calm your fears, dear. I'm in the
'oal business, you know, and he has
WED the firm money for coal for over
line months. "-M Y. San.
-One of the great advantages of the
lectric light for indoor illumination
les in the fact that it leaves the air
whereas gas and other light
ormed by combustion not only raises
he temperature, but deprives the air
Its oxygen, increases the carbonic
CID and makes the air poisonous.
First Texan-'' Remember Jim Cur
=, what's killed every man that said
Q was no gentlemanP" Second Texan
THE Curry what killed an actor fer
YIN to protect ladyp" THAT s the
ne. hear he's got into the peni-
'ntiary at last" "Well. welll Whose
Dss did he steal? ~ Philadel,,b;o Rs.-
ID.
1T was nearly midnight, and she
as gazing dreamily into the fire. "a
amy for your thoughts, Miss Clara
said, airily. II was thinking. Mr..
she replied, show verv
uch annoyed papa was TODAY over
Q amount of last months eas-bi,l -
nd then presently he left without
wing her the penny.
--Jink's little olive branch made a
eat outcry when his mother attemntad
give him sea bath. Jinks became
evoked at the youngster. and at last
claimed: II don't see why the obsti-
te little fool is frightened at waterr,
hereupon Mrs. Jinks cast a witbar-
glance at her liege lords ruddv
&c. and retorted: Inherited. SUM-
Sc. His father objected to water he-
Q him." Jinks failed to pursue IN.
loquy further. and turned slowly
reflectively from the scene.-N p
lgey.