The National tribune., 1889-10-10
TRIBUNETS.
PROTECTION 20


ship who have had serious difficulties with
their wives. II they kiss and make up" they
cease at once to be members. The club meets
at 607 SAMSON street, and entrance to the club
room is carefully guarded by sentries. grips,
passwords etc. 10 started with membership
Of score or so, and has now over 200. It
expects TO number 5000 before long. The
" Grand Master 10 Q leading Federal official,
and many prominent men are said to belong
to It, All applicants must submit their cases
to o committee of %, known as The Grand
Jury" The club undertakes TO hunt up evil
dence In the husbands favor. provides counsel
fees for divorce suits, and pays the alimony,
should there DO any. IL 10 hardly likely that
the club will have the brilliant existence its
projectors sanguinely anticipate. The idea Of
q crowd Of full grown men getting together
under the protection Of sentinels to discuss
their wives shortcomings will and should sx-
cite general ridicule and derision. There are
undoubtedly bad wives everywhere, but the
proportion Of had husbands is vastly greater,
and if either side should combine for their pro-
lection against their worthless spouses 1t ought
to be the women. who are the most helpless.
and almost invariably the most injured.
STURGEON still stands solidly on the good
old Baptist doctrine of "calling to the minis
try" He said recently: AZ never have been
ordained, and never intend to be. When a
church chooses a man to be its pastor that man
is ordained. If God has called him and filed
him with the Holy Spirit and power"
A HEADLINE in one Of the papers says "Mrs.
Potter will not act" That's no news She
never could.
THE ungodly have set up new job to grieye
the spirits of the servants Of the Lord. Rev.
]. NJ. Duran. Of Birmingham, Ala, has Just
been acquitted of the charge Of passing counter
felt money, upon the showing that the coins
passed were part ofthe contributions. His heart
had been delighted by finding eight silver dollars
in the box, but seven of them turned out to be
bad. How depraved that sinner must be who
will mako speciOus show of liberality by tossing
into the box . handful Of bright, ringing, but
bogus, dollars. which afterwsrd prove snares
for the feet of the Euileless pastor!
GEORGIA may have prison-camps which
would be disgrace to Russian civilization, snd
she may have 130, goo native whites who cannot
read or write, but she atones for some of this
by lsw which makes it q crime to lend give,
or sell minor cigaret or paper of tobacco.
THE season Is at hand for examining the
cornhusks, goose bones, muskrat- holes and
squirrel-nests to determine whether we are to
have hard or "open" Winter, and the en-
aminers are contradieting each other with their
usual zeal and frankness. Past experience sup
ports the belief that either the muskrats and
squirrels do not know any more about the
weather than common folks. or else the fellows
who interview them do not understand the
business.
New York is being astonished by couple
of athletes who weigh $50 pounds each, but
who do all sorts OF light and airy trapeze tricks
There Is no reason why ESQ pound man
should not be graceful and active, if he has his
weight in the right place. The trouble with
most gentlemen Of that ayOirdupOis is that they
concentrate the heft of it about their equators,
where IL is not available for lofty tumbling.
SOMEBODY once told Senator Evarts about
George Washington's feat Of throwing q silver
dollar across the Potomac.
do you believe the stOry2" asked the
relator.
"Oh, yes" answered the senior Senator from
New York. Everybody knows that dollar
would go much farther then than it will now"
Speaking of stretching out a little money,
the cunning workers in brass about Ansonia,
Conn, have been doing some wonderful things
in that line. The first feat was that of rolling
an old fashioned copper cent out until it was
II inches long and 1i-thousanths of an inch
thick. Determined to beat this, Alfred Shaw
rolled q modern cent out until it was 80 inches
long and one five-hundredths of an inch thick
He tried again with cent of 1883, which he
rolled out until 10 was so inches long, three
quarters of an inch wide, and one 2 0OOths of an
inch thick. Stimulated by this he tried again,
with another of the same date, and made
strip 50 inches long and so thin that there is
not a micrometer in Ansonia delicate enough
to measure its thickness. 1t had TO be glued to
u ribbon to prevent its being torn in two. He
did this with the heavy rollers used to fashion
great bars of copper and brass.
JEFF DAVIS has written q magazine article
entitled: ''Does the Majority Ruler" 1t GER
tainly never did when JEFF could have his way.
IT Is not often that q suicide satisfies all the
conditions as we'll as that of James s. Kelly, q
halter of Fishkill, N Y. He was incorporate
and the girl he wanted had brains and courage
enough to refuse to marry him unless he would
swear off drinking. He would not do this, but
took a dose of poison, and left whining mes
sage written on his collar, accusing his sweet
heart of being responsible for his death. 1t is
only strange that man of that stamp had the
grit to kill himself They mostly live to
plague unfortunate women through long lives.
REPORT reaches us from New York that
wealthy citizen has been taken by his family
before the Probate Judge for examination as
to his sanity. The cause for their action was
that he had subscribed $100 to the Grant Mon
ument fund.
THE SPY OF THE REBELLION
which is again advertised is good example of
tbs value of printers' ink when well annIIad