The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-02-04
BRIGHT BITS.

A BRILLIANT PROSPECT bsent- minded man
lin bob-tail Conductor. think dropped
% gold piece in the box instead Of a nickel.
Street car driver-Well, sit down in the corner
ana ride it out. I'm very busy just now and
can't be bothered.-Puck.
MAUD-See here Bess! hear that you are
going to be married Didn't you and | and
Nabel agree, on the first OF January, 1887, that
we would never marry long as we livedt
Bess-Yes; but you see, girls I've had
chance. That alters matters.
Maud and Mabel both together-O!-Burlino
ton Free Press.
THE WRoNe HoUsE-Young stiggins-'You
have rooms to rent?"
Landlady-"Yes, sir; on the sixth floor
That will just Suit me. My tailor is lame"
Il know he is. He's my husband, and lives
here"
The d. (Stiggins beats hasty retreat.)
--1ezdS Slfttn0s
Col, STEERS (of Montana)-It seems to me
you New Workers are entirely too "uppsh''
and on your dignity. If you only were out
where live you'd see what western hospitality
Mr. Manhattan-I have. once took drink
with SiX-Toed Hank of your town at the point
of pistol!-P,tc;.
Young MAN, do you ever gambler" said
oemn-looking old party on the train.
"Old boy, if you want to spring a monte lay
out on me You might just as well let up at
once, replied the unregenerated youth, and
the good old colporteur was so shocked That he
y
1erre Hdute Express.
ADVICE TO A YOUNG ACKNOWLEDGING Author
Doctor, II can get relief from writer's
cramp, shall have to give up my literary work
have come TO you for advice"
Doctor (who has read some of his literary
work(-"My young friend, quit writing entirely
and relief not only instantaneous, but wide
spread will follow Chicago Tribune.
.DAyIp's SINGULAR OBsERvATIoN.-''Wh was
it that David said to Solomon on a certain occa-
gl rnd a .lu.r
his class. boy with an anxious expression of
countenance raised his hand. What did David
say"
head, and It'll in there yet. "-TerdS SiftinQs
What's the matter, Cholly? Been
sued. or what?
Cholly-Just got a letter from-from her.
George-What does she say?
Cholly-Only two words: Yours forever"
George-Nothing the matter with that, is
thereY
1Cholly She sent our engagement ring in the
note. -IeTTe Hat0e Express.
RATHER DuRABLE.-Carpet dealer-Yes, mad
anne; that's fine stair carpet, and very dura-
BILE
Woman-WEl it last well?
Carpet dealer-lIRdame, fourteen years ago
sold that carpet to woman and she used it
ten years steady.
Woman Then did she throw it away?
Carpet dealer-NO, madame, | should say
not. For the last four years her boy has worn
1t for everyday pants.-Judge.
A GENTLEMAN was entering the Senate gallery
at Washington when ne chanced to meet a
friend coming out. Hello he said, what is
going onf"
Nothing just now. Mr. Evarts has been
addressing the Senate"
Has he? I'm sorry missed that"
"YeS, it was great treat He spoke about
four hours"
What about?'
He didn't y"-BoSton Post.
'STRAwBCRRIEsl Strawberries Nice fresh
strawberries cried a street huckster from
his cart on a street in East Boston the other
day.
Up went windows, doors flew open and eager
women's faces appeared everywhere attracted
by the cry.
What's that? Strawberries" cried one
woman, as the cart drew near.
Excuse me, madame" said the huckster.
blaudly, II was about to saywhen you interrupted
me that nice fresh Strawberries are not on the
market at this time of the year, but if you are
in need of any nice, fresh fish | have here some
fine ones, which am selling"
There was sound like another Mercantile
street explosion, but it was only window clos
ing suddenly .-BOStOa G ODE.