Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-13
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
American Politics In the Bible-How a Now
York Cabby Was kouted-AIr. Murphy
Rebulxed

American Politics In the Bible-How New
York Cabby Was kouted-AIr.. Murphy
Rebulxed.
ONE Sunday morning recently little Harris.
burg girl named Edith was deyoting her 9-year.
old intellect to a survey of her Sunday school
| lesson. Close by her sat her mother.
81 never knew that before" said Edith all of
| a sudden.
"Never knew what Ediefu
"That David was Republican"
"What put that into your headg'
"why, here it says" replied Edith, reading
from her book, ".David pleadeth for Protec-
| tion'-so he must have been Republican. Is
there anything in the Bible about free trade,
mammaf
AS WE were passing through Harrisburg the
other day over the Pennsylvania q friend of
mine who sat in the same section of the Pull
man happened to catch sight of the dome Of
the Dauphin County Insane Asylum.
That's the Capitol, isn't itf" he asked.
mo" said L; Its a madhouse."
'.Is that soY' remarked my friend. swell, 1
came pretty near hitting it."
50
STILL talking of Harrisburg. the remem-
brance Of an excellent lunch got in the Penn
sylvania Railroad restaurant there compels me
to inquire why all railroad restaurants cannot
be run to refresh instead of to exasperate the
traveller
WHEN you get to New York after a long
journey through an August day, know no
greater annoyance than the gang of cabmen
and hackdrivers who stand Just outside the
ferry station and shout in all sorts of rasping
tones: "Cab, sir, want cab; cab, cab hack,
want hack; cab cab, want cab, or kerridge,
sirr'
1t is always agreeable to hear of the discom-
future of New Y ork cabman, but 1t is seldom
such tale is told. However, Pittsburg
theatrical man, not long ago, actually per-
formed this remarkable feat
As this Pittsburger came out of the Cort-
landt street ferry, fatigued, dusty and eager
for repose. he was surrounded by the bowling
mob of jehus. The usual chorus. sung in the
usual way, 'dinned in his ears. One stout
fellow, with brazen voice of great penetrat-
ing power, caught the Pittsburger by the arm
and repeat ed the monotonous. expressionless
manner of his tribe: .Want cab, want cab
want a cab. cab, cab want a cabr'
The Pittsburger stood the hailing for few
steps and then turning upon his tormentor
briskly clutched his shoulder and said angrily:
IF you want q cab SO - badly why in sheol
don't you get one-there are plenty herer'
The cabby was entirely fiabbergasted and fell
back among his bowling companions silent and
solemn. He did not "want cab'' again while
the Pittsburger was within hearing.
So
THE other day contractor, who is grading
new streets in a borough near Pittsburg, sent
one of his men. 3 big fellow named Murphy, to
the railroad station nearby to fetch some sup
plies. The journey both ways ought to have
been accomplished in half an hour, but Mr..
Murphy did not show up again for over two
hours. When he had brought his load close up
to tha mound of earth on which the contractor
was standing he called to him by name.
The contractor looked up at Murphy but did
not appear to recognize him, and merely said:
swell. what is it?''
"Pm back" said Murphy.
"That's good fer yez, said his employer, "but
me man what's that to mef"
"Why, Mr.. Blank. Pm Mr.. Murphy, don't yez
know met"
"oh. Mr.. Murphy is itf Faix. wouldn't
known ye, but for the harses."
And in this delicate fashion was the lash of
sarcasm brought down upon the back of Mr..
Murphy.