Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-07-13
Mr.. AND MRS. BoWsER.
How tho Head Of the House WAs Taught
to Find Hls Clothes

A
| When got home from mothers the other
afternoon Mr. Bowser was walking up and
down the sitting room Ike Gagged lion. Al
he was an hour ahead of his usual time, / wa.
| naturally astcnished, and as be looked SC
stern and dignifed. was fearful that some
misfortune had occurred.
Anything wrong. Mr.. BowserP man
aged to ask.
He halted, folded bis hands under his coat
| tails, and, balancing himself on his heels and
| toes alternately, he replied:
Mrs Bowser. this is tie last straw-ths
very lastin
"Why, what have l donef"
81 had an invitation to attend banque;
| OF the B. N g. club, and was down to de
liver an address came home to get ready,
| and, lol what do fnd"
Robbers in the houser
"Not much! No robber with any sense in
/ his head would come to this house, 1t would
| take him week to find anythingl go up
stairs to get clean shirt, collar, ETC., bu,
nothing Of the sort can be found. come
down and ask the COOK to see Il my Sunday
| clothes are In the -four barrel, but she looks
in vain. ! 60 to the telephone and ask the
coal man II be. saw them in the basement
when he put In that last ton, but he can't re-
member You, Of course, have no knowledge
of them. You can't say whether they are in
the oat bin in the barn, or packed away in
the garnet for rats nest
''They are up stairs, unless you have sold or
given them away
mo more insults, please. Come up stairs
and show me, for instance, where my shirts
| are"
Every well We shall find them IN the SEQ
ond drawer Of your bureau, where they have
been kept for the last two years.
an bet you million dollars to cent!n
"Come on"
We went up stairs to the bureau and
pulled out the drawer and there lay five
clean shirts, just where had placed them as
they came from the laundry two days before.
"But they were not there an hour ago."
protested Mr.. Bowser
"But they were. How could they be any
where elsel In this other drawer are your
socks, neckties, cuffs and collars Seer
II see, but that drawer was empty half an
hour ago."
"And in this closet is your Sunday suit
Sect Coat, vest and pants Are you grow
ing blind, Mr.. Bowserf'
"There Is some dark mystery connected
with ali this, Mrs Bowser, and Will not rest
until l unravel it lspent a good half hour
looking for my things but not one single arti-
Gle could l find"
Because you rushed up stairs and went
into the spare room, just like lots of other
husbands. Of course you didl See7 Every
drawer in the spare room bureau has been
pulled out, and the clothes press door is wide
openl"
Mrs. Bowser don't try to get out of it in
this wayl My eyesight is still good. and
when see an empty drawer l know it is not
full Of shirts. have lost an hour looking
for my things, and now cannot go to the
banquet
He went down stairs and called up some
one by telephone and said:
Il can't be there this evening. My shirts.
collars and clothes have been mislaid BY my
wife. and only found them a moment ago.
Very sorry, but give my regrets to the boys
and tell them how it was. Some wives are
like that and can't help it, you know. Good
BY"
The next evening Mr.. Bowser brought a
friend up with him-the same one he had tele-
phoned to- After bit he took him up stairs
for smoke, and as they reached the head Of
the bedroom door;
INSIDE THIS ROOM
VIII be found
MR.. BowsER's SHIRTS, COLLARS, CUFFS AND
SUNDAY SUIT.
Don't make the mistake Of looking In tho
alley.
On the bureau 1 had tackled second sign,
reading:
First drawer-Yo our hair dye, etc.
Second drawer-Collars, cuffs and neck
ties
Third drawer-Your shirts"
On the door of the clothes closet had .
third sign, reading:
Your Sunday suit is in this closet-frst
hook to the left as you enter"
On each garment was marked the name
"coat, west" and pants" and on the wall
q set of instructions, reading:
II. Fling your hat under the bed
80 Kick your pants over behind the
lounge.
80 Throw your vest behind the washstand
and your coat on the floor.
~. In removing the buttons from your
shirt, jerk and twist from left to right and
back again. This will enlarge the button
holes.
- II you drop one Of the Duttons jump
up and down and cuss and declare that you
have been one button short all the week.
20 II the button holes In your collar are
too large, kick over a chair and declare your
desire to murder come one. II too small,
kick over two chairs and lay it to me-
So In chan ging your clothes, get your sus-
penders twisted, leave your shirt punched up
at the shoulders and snap of as many but
tons as possible"
had intended those signs for Mr.. Bowser's
eyes alone. and fully expected Q national
calamity when be came down and bade his
friend good night was disappointed, how
ever. He looked at me benignly, walked up
and down for awhile, and then observed:
Mrs. Bowser, before we were married
had long talk with your mother"
Yea"
"She told me that you had never been called
upon to exercise Judgment or responsibility.
and that would find you a very great bur
den"
Thanks Mr. Bowser."
But agreed to bear with you and be pa
tent, and so shall Twenty years hence you
may know something about housekeeping and
q wife's duty toward her husbands wardrobe
It's a long time to wait, but VIII be patient
Perhaps this u my mission on earth, and Is
what the Lord wills me to do. Go ahead,
Mrs Bowser. and be Just az mean es you can,
and do everything to hurt ny feelingA ]
shall do my duty and never let the world
know how I Serr-Detroit Fres PreA
Science Always Ready.
CaIlar-Dor.ar NJ rfr1nA th> y,,-,>-ts