davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

Small boy returning from the fair)-
Pa. Professor Allen don't get much pay
for going up in balloon, does he2
Father-Yes, think he is we'll paid
What makes you think he isn't?
Son Because 1 heard HIM saying to a
man that he hoped ii would be fine this
week, so he could make ascent. -Roches-
ter Budget.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11
Stick.tO-it.iYeness Won.

Edith promised to marry Fred las.
night.
Ella-It was only last week that you told
me that you really hated him.
Edith--So did; and meant it, too.
Ella-Then you have changed your
mind. What caused You to do it?
Edith-No, / have not changed my
mind; but, you see. Fred used TO be life
insurance solicitor, and SO he would not
take mo" for sn answer.-Detroit Free
Press.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

All are entitled to the best that their
money will buy. so every family should
have. at once. bottle of the bsst family
remedy. Syrup of Figs. TO cleanse the sys-
tenn when costive or bilious. For sale In
Soc and 81 bottles by all leading druggists.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11
A Great Surprise

Is In store for all who use Kemps Balsam
for the Throat and Lungs. the great guaran
teed remedy. Would you believe that IL is
sold on its merits and that any druggist is
authorized by the proprietor ofthis wonder
full remedy 10 give you a sample bottle free ?
II never fails 10 cure acute or chronic
coughs. All druggists sell Kemp's Balsam.
Large Bottles 5Oc and 81.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11
Hibbard,s Rheumatic and Liver Pills.

These Pills are scientifically compounded.
uniform in action. No gripping pain SO COM
monty following the use OF pills. They are
adapted TO both adults and children with
perfect safety. We guarantee they have
no equal in the cure OF Sick Headache, Con-
stipation. Dyspepsia BIliousness; and. as
nm appetizer, they excel any other prepara-
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11
AZ Sold by Dru. 6 as. 75c

BDDY-"Mr. Smith called tonight
when you were out" Miss Clara-"O, it
is too bad, / think he would have pro-
posed" Biddy-"He did, miss. He'll
marry me next week. Epoch.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11
Knocked OFT on His Speciality.

Some friends of ours are bringing mp
their small boy in what they consider a
properly devotional path. Among other
serious exercises he has been trained TO
say grace at table and expected to do so
regularly. But the other day clergyman
happened to visit them, and of course
madam made a sign to ask the blessing.
Just as Master Boy was opening his
mouth the visitor began, to the amaze
ment of the regular mount ent. He held
in as we'll as he could until the Amen"
was said, and then he howled in hoarse
but finely audible whisper into his moth
ers ear, well, ma, amt he got cheek!'-
ROSIOn RedcOD
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11
The People

are not slow 10 understand that. in order 70
warrant their manufacturers in guarantee
ing them 10 benefit or cure. medicines must
possess more than ordinary merit and cura-
tive properties. DIR. Pierces Golden Medi-
cal Discovery is tne only blood medicine
sold. through druggists. under posttice
guarantee that 1t will benefit or cure or
money paid for 1t will be returned. In all
blood. skin and scalp diseases and Tor all
scroiulous affections. il is n specific.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11
Helpless 40 Days

The great agony caused by rheumatism is indie
scrbable and the gratitude of those who take Hoods
Ssrsaparilla and cured is often beyond express
sion. The following is from a well-known Wisconsin
farmer and Is Endorsed by the editors Of the Neils
VILE Wis Times entirely true:
For twenty-five years have suffered. with sciatic
rheumatism. Last November / was taken worse
than and was unable 10 get out Of the house.
almost helpless for forty DAYS. suffering great
agony all the time. In December commenced
taking Hoods Saraparilla. After the second bottle
was able 10 be out and around and attend 20 bust
took five bottles, and am now tree from
rheumatism that only occasionally feel il slightly
on sudden change Of weather. l have great con-
hdence in Hoods Sarsaparilla.' CHARLES HANNAH,
Christie. Clarke Co.. Wis.
NIB. If you make up your mind 20 try Hoods Sar-
saparilla, do not be induced 10 take any other
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11
Short-Liyed Man.

Some one says that few men die Of
age. Almost all persons die Of disap-
pointment, personal, mental or bodily
toll, or accident The passions kill men
som stimes even suddenly. The common
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

Mild oquable climate. certain and abundant
crops. Best fruit, grain, grass, and stock coun-
try in the world. Full information free. Address
the Oregon immigration Board, Portland, oregon.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

USE Browns BRONCHIAL TRocHEs for
Coughs. Colds. and all Throat Troubles.
Pre-eminently the best - ReD. Henry
Udra Beecher
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

CHARLIE-"H was it you didn't
allow Miss Yellowleaf TO join your female
baseball club?" Jennie Because, be-
ing an old maid, she wasn't good catch. !"
-EDOch
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

$500 REWARD offered by the proprietors
OF DIR. Sage's Catarrh Remedy for an incur
able case.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

OUT at sea a ship occasionally heaves
in sight, but a seasick passenger prefers
TO heave out of sight
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

AN official of the Michigan Central
Railway figures out that the steam whis-
ties cost the company SIS 900 year.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11
The Oldest MeafciHe fg IKE H0yLf rs pro6a6Lr
DIR. ISAAC THOUPSON,S
HEl 8 Q0ATEn ENEMTATE

This article Is carefully prepared pDy sic pro
scripton, and has been in constant use for nearly
century. There are few diseases 20 which mankind
are subject more distressing than sore eyes, and
none, perhaps for which more remedies have been
tried without success For all external Inflammation
OF the eyes IL is nfallible remedy. III the dreo
lions folio wed Il will fail We partc Ilarly
invite the attention OF physicians its merits For
sale by all druggists. JOHN 7. THOMPSON, SONS
4 CO., TROY, y. Y. Established 49,.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

Entire freedom from injurious drugs make
"Tansills Punch" DC. Cigars most popular.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

TIE best cough medicine is Piso's Curs
for Consumption. sold everywhere. 25c.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11
or.cou IN. Paradise OF Farme

TIE swallow tail is occasionally seen
in the pigeon cote. - YOnkers Gdsette.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

ST. LOUIS is the only city in the Union
in which the tenant of rented house is
required to furnish his own gas fixtures.
Formerly st. Louis house builders did
not even equip dwellings with service
pipe. but they do now generally. The
consequence is that thousands of people
use oil who would prefer gas if they
didn't have to pay for the fixtures.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

THERE IL nothing unless II be the sewing
machine) that has lightened woman's labor
as much as Dobbins' Electric Soap. constant
In soil since 1864. All grocers have it. Have
you made it's acquaintance? Tiyit
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

A HOUSE at Gold Hill. New, that cost
$1,000 few years ago was sold the other
day for $500.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

THE hangman may not be much OF q
theoretical musician, but hs is great on
execution.-W Washington Capital
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

GENEVA is said TO be the cheapest city
In Europe for permanent residence
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

News has been received at St. Louis
from the Government expedition for the
survey Of Alaska. The letter is dated
Aug. II, and says there are luxuriant
forests, the grass was green, flowers in
bloom aud the weather very warm. but
ten inches below the surface the ground
is frozen hard, even as deep as twenty
five feet.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

WASHINGTON is certain TO have one
piece of statuary which Will be thor
oughly representative OF the best French
talent in sculpture, and that is the statue
of Lafayette, on which the scuptors
Mercie and Falquiere have lavished their
best skill Mercie is a man of genius,
and Falquiere is considered as certain to
be one of the glories of French art.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

THEY have an effective way of dealing
with habitual drunkards in Norway and
Sweden. They put them in Jail and fee d
them entirely on bread and wine. The
bread is stepped in wine an hour before
il is served. The first day man will take
it, but before many more he will hate
the sight of it. After an incarceration
of this sort many become total abstainers.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11
@--ihEaI fiSEE.------
EH}& Positively Cured with Vegetable Remedies

Have cured many thousand cases. Cure patients
pronounced hopeless by the best physicians From
hrst dose symptoms rapidly disappear, and in ten
days al least two-thrd OF all symptoms are removed
Send for free book of testimonials OF miraculous
cures. Ten days treatment furnished free by mail
IL Won order tri al, send 10 cents in stamps %
postage. Dir ii. II. GREEN 4 SONS. Atlanta, Ga.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-12-11

Wanted shre~d act under Instructions 10
work. Representatives the International Detective
Gaunans warning Against Fraud Grannsn Pocket Gallery
Melted Criminals Those interested In detective business desr
he detectives send
all grammar DETECTIVE BUREAU CO Arcade Casinaati q
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06
Grove Bros,
HAGERSTOWN.

We take pleasure in informing you
that our new line of Fall and Winter
Woolens have arrived.
Every piece is new and selected
with the utmost care, to suit our rap
idly increasing trade.
The services of Mr.. Robert Ellis,
for twelve years with Hartman, Bash
& Co., of Baltimore, have been Sc
cured, and we are prepared to get up
as good work as the fine city tallors
for one-third less money.
Dress Suits are specialties with us.
We do not hesitate to pronounce
our Fall Exhibit the most graceful
and elegant ever placed before the
people of Hagerstown. Our line OF
novelties is exceedingly tempting.
The Neckwear Department is full.
All the new colorings and shapes al
ways on hand just as they come out.
Respy, &C.,
GROVE BROS,
Tailors and Furnishers,
Hagerstown, Md.
Orders by mail solicited.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06
Exchanging Sleeping Berths.


Capt. Ed. Picket, OF the b. & o. r.
r. relates the following: One night
about a month ago, about half an
hour before we left Baltimore, a
couple of gentlemen came into my
car with tickets emitting them to two
lower berths directly opposite each
other. One of them retired immedi-
ately, while his friend said he would
smoke n cigar before turning in.
Just before the train started a gen
tleman and his wife entered the car.
There were no berths left except the
two upper ones directly over the
berths engaged by the two gentle
men. This did not suit the gentle.
man and his wife, and they asked me
IL / could not arrange 1t so they
could have section 10 themselves.
l said would try. So went TO the
smoking room and explained the sit
uation to the gentleman who had en-
gagged the opposite lower berth.
why certainly, will exchange my
berth with pleasure, he said" Ac-
cordingly he occupied the berth over
his companion and surrendered his
own to the gentleman and his
wife.
About half past seven the next
morning as we were nearing Grafton
the fun began. The man who went
TO bed first woke up first He sat up
on the side Of the berth. which he
thought contained his friend. A
right idea seemed TO take possession
OF him. He reached down and picked
up one OF his shoes from the floor
and cautiously parted the curtains
Of the berth. Ii was dark within. SO
that he only distinguished one form,
that lying on the outside. Then he
raised the shoe and dealt his sup
posed friend thwack. An unearth-
ly female shrek was the response.
/ shall never forget the expression
that came over the face OF the man
with the shoe; he turned all sorts OF
colors, as he sat on the edge OF his
berth staring helplessly around him.
In the meantime the husband OF the
abused lady had jumped out into the
aisle just as the innocent companion
who had yielded up his quarters the
night before was sticking his head
out between the curtains to see what
the row was all about. IL looked for
a minute as though there would be
a riot
Ii took several minutes To cool the
enraged husband down so that he
could understand the situation.
Husband and wife left the train
shortly afterwards at Grafton, laying
over for the evening train for Cincin-
natl. .-Pdrkesb1g Sentinel
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06

CPICES-Pure ground and grain spices Of all
y kinds for pickling and preserving. Good
and cheapat
McMURRAN'S DRUG STORE.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06

THE OLD MAN DREAMS.


Oh, for an hour of youthful joy!
Give back my twentieth spring!
I'd rather laugh. q bright-haired boy,
Than reign q gray-haired king.
OF with the spoils OF wrinkled age
Away with learning's crownl
Tear out life's wisdom written page,
And dash its trophies down.
One moment let my life- blood stream
From boyhood's font of fame
Give me one giddy, reeling dream
OF life, all love and fame.
My listening angel heard my prayer,
And calmly smiling, said:
'If but touch thy silvered hair,
Thy hasty wish hath speed.
But is there nothing in thy track
To bid thee fondly stay.
While the swift seasons hurry back
To find the wished-for day?"
All! truest soul of womankindl
Without thee what were life?
One bliss / cannot leave behind;
I'll neutrality-suspicious.
The angel took a sapphire pen
And wrote in rainbow dew:
"The man would be boy again
And be husband, too!
"And is there nothing yet unsaid
Before the change appears?
Remember. all their gifts have fled
With those dissolving years.
"Why, yes: for memory would recall
My fond paternal joys;
could not bear TO leave them all:
I'll take-my-girls-and boysw
The smiling angel dropped his pen
"Why, this will never do;
The man would be boy again,
And be father. toor'
And so / laughed-my laughter woke
The household with the noise
And wrote my dream when morning brok
To please the gray haired boys.
Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06
Items from the Arizona Kicker.

WE ARE LEFT. For the past four
weeks our friends have been eagerly
pressing us to- take the nomination
for mayor on the peoples ticket.
We do not crave office, and are very
busy man, but the pressure became
so great we had to- give in.
Last Tuesday evening the city eau.
Gus was held, and instead OF being
nominated for mayor we received
three votes out OF upwards Of sixty
cast. Our friends were mistaken when
they insisted that We were wanted. In
stead OF being the unanimous choice
OF the patriotic people, we had the
pleasure of seeing Jerry Baxter. the
meanest man In town, given the nom.
ination.
Oh, WELL that's human nature
right through, and an editor fool
enough to 20 into politics deserves TO
be driven head first into the tan
bark, as we were. We have a word
to say, however; the Kicker will not
only bolt every candidate on the
ticket, but we guarantee to have
nine-tenths Of the nominees in
prison before they are month
older. Vnicum granisl which Is Latin
for saying: Don't monkey with n
newspaper man.
MUST HAVE BEEN THE PRoPgssoR.
Ever since We took possession Of
our Office on Sioux avenue certain
people have taken malicious de-
light la heaying rocks at the doors
and though the windows at midnight.
We put up with it the fret six
months because we were afraid, and
the next six because We liked 20 see
people enjoy themselves. Then we
warned the public to let up or some
body would get hurt. Last Wednes-
day night rock weighing three
pounds came through O window and
barely missed our head as we lay
sleeping on our cot. As we got 10
the door with n shotgun some one
could be seen making OF over the
common. We drew on MIN and
pulled trigger, and something ut
tered yell.
Yesterday the body Of Professor
jenkins was found Ia the sage brush
about two miles from town, and IL
was plain that he died Of a dose OF
buck shot ia the back Just az like
ly as not he was the chap we fred at
In the darkness. We didn't owe him
any particular grudge, and we didn't
know that he did us, and we are will
ing to foot half the burial expenses at
venture
A BASE COWARD. The item In the
Chicago press Of q recent date that
we had been fatally wounded by q
Judge for Publishing SANDER was
not exactly correct. In the FIRST place,
the individual was cowboy named
Rose. In the next place the article
was true, and In the third place, after
he had fred five shots st US without
touching q hair, we knocked him
silly with q squash that we picked np
In front Of Snyders grocery. TheT
we stood on him for about half III
hour, and when he went out Of towr
our brindIed dog was chasing him 81
a speed OF twenty miles m hour.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06

FINE TOILET SOAPS-Just received sup
II ply of highly -perfumed Toilet Soaps, con-
sisting Of Colgate's Mignonette, Violet, Savon
au Muse, Jockey Club and Cashmere Bouquet;
Pears 80 per centum Glycerine; Fel's highly
perfumed Glycerine; Palmers pure Cocoanut-
oil Soap; White Glycerine-No All; F.; Cuticu-
ra; Packers Tar Soap: Glenn's Sulphur Soap;
Pine Tar Soap; Calvert's Carbolic Soap; Om-
nibus, Brown Bath; White CASTLE: Notified
CASTLE; Shaving Soaps. Bargains In Soaps.
Call at MCMURRAN'S DRUG STORE.
9-l3-9-6t
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06

There can be no doubt but that the
West is the place for young men to go
to. We read OF young man going
out West three years ago without q
rag on his hack and bat five cents in
his possession, and when he returned
he was all rags and had six cente.
Yes, go West, young man
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06

DRUSHES.-Just received q supply ofPaint
I'D Brushes and Busters, Whitewash Brushes.
Scrubbing Brushes, Kalsomine Brushes, Shoe
Brushes, all very cheap, at
MCMURRAN'S DRUG STORE
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06
At Miss Ellen S.

,,ror want a nice Fan, black or colored' IN
-, satin. call at MISS ELLENS.
- Won want pair OF the prettiest Pillow
st,r,s stamped with the newest designs
s., vo,toes. and cheaper than you can buy
.,,,o,srial and have them stamped, go see
- at MISS ELLEN'S, where you will also
s-1 COR working them different kinds OF ma
.a.,.Is such as Rope silk" Linen Floss" oi
,,ssrsnt colors and Red, Black and Blue cot
.,ns in fast colors. Can be found at
MISS ELLEN'S.
leather Belts, silk finish, and Cotton Belts
,ao,r,s Rubber Drawers, in assorted sizes,
10 be had at -hi9' 80,
some OF those nice Black Silk Jersey SUITS
o., MISS ELLEN'S.
ladies' Gauze Vests, short sleeves long
s,esves. and no sleeves. from % TO S5cts. can
,,ot MISS ELLEN'S.
ukinds Of Ladies' Underwear Corsets
,,-Tadies and Misses at the little store oil
''' ELLEN WEI4SHANS.
pirtbday day cards at MISS ELLENs.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06
ANAWFULCUT

in prices to show that mean business and
intaud IN Sc III out.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06

Willie had begun to read the Bible
through by course, and liked 1t very
much until he got into Leviticus.
Then his daily readings dragged "I'l
tell you what the trouble h. mamma, >
he said conndentiaiIy. 1T Isn't 70 In
teresting here. when It's all about the
fat tbereofw
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06

0INTnC $1,000 Per Year and Ex-
AEENN penses is what we are
A,NiOg Ne want 100 more and will pay Sal
pay'agsd pay and Expenses. or Liberal. Commission
@ from start. Rare Opportunity 1;na for any man
waht,ns AGENT for a reliable Nursery that
oenei" oertees its stock. Address. at once,
guarah iWecMANAMON & LUErCHFoRD,
Nurserymen, Rochester, n, \.
ON Mention this paper.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-12-06
Gents Furnishing Goods

have been bought from the best manufacto-
ries, and have selected them with great
care. Neckwear, Shirts, Collars and Guns,
Hosiery, Underwear and the many arucles
OF Mems wear usually kept in a first class
store and all of these goods, as well as my
Ready Made Clothing, will be sold as low as
first-class goods can De sold anywhere. For
the past return my many thanks to all my
friends and customers, and hope by strict at
tention to business and kind treatment In
the future TO merit continuance OF the same
Remember the Boss Clothing Man.
Near the College Square.
JACOB BWINrERMOIEP.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1889-09-14
Cars Run with Sails.

A Washington correspondent of the
Philadelphia Telegraph was recently
looking at some models in the National
Museum of curious cars used in the
early days of railroading in this coun-
try. when Mr.. Watkins, the curator,
pointed out one particular one that
had mast and sail. Experiments with
such cars were made on the Baltimore
& Ohio road and on the South Carolina
road. 1t was then a serious question
whether the motive power on railroads
would be sail, horse or steam. The
steam locomotive was still looked up
on as an experiment. Sail cars
are used to-day on guano
railroad on the island OF Maiden,
in the south Pacific. They are, in fact,
used nearer home than that, for rail-
road men at Barnegat beach, when the
wind is favorable. frequently ride over
the road on construction cars-sloOp-
riggid. ''The wind has good deal to
do with railroading even to-day" Mr..
Watkins said. If you go to the bureau
of intelligence at the Broad street
station, Philadelphia, and ask whether
some train, say from New York, is
likely to be on time, you may be in
formed that it is likely to be
four or FIVE minutes late, because
there is q strong wind from the west.
Winds make considerable difference in
the running time of trains.