Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20


ton they had ever acquired. so that their
minds would be thoroughly fitted for the
arduous duties of jurors. looked up in a
vacant way.
Mayor Hewitt looked out the window and
saw them coming. Hastily upending his
cuffs and ruffllng his hair, so as to have q
distinguished and disheveled appearance,
he instructed the official organ Of the city
to play the wedding march.
There was low. gurgling knock on the
door. and. when Mayor Hewitt opened it.
there stood the Duke. Motioning the Mayor
out into the hail. Marlborough took him
around behind the wood-box. where they
could be entirely alone. Then he whispered
to Mayor Hewitt; ABE, are you busy?"
We'll, not so ALFRED busy. What is it.
Duke?"
L wanted to get married if you've got
time to attend to it. How soon could you
wait on us?'
%, can do it now. guess. I was writ
ing piece for the paper. but can put that
| Off. Come in and take of your things till
have time TO prepare a little impromptu
thought or two, and send out for a package
| OF ca-damon seeds. l hate to kiss a
Duchess. as general thing. unless my
| breath is as sweet as violet"
By this time the wedding party had en-
tered. and now stood about the Office read
| ing the acts Of the Legislature, or vainly
seeking to look through the opalescent win
dows.
rs Dcke all the front name you've got?'
asked the Mayor. as he began to write in a
| red account book and regard him closely
with keen, searching glance.
Marlborough said it was not. and went on
to state at some length what his full name
was. will not try to give it here. because
| this is simply short. hasty article for the
paper. 1t is not a city directory.
We'll, then. if you are ready" said the
| Mayor. briskly wiping his pen with the tail
| OF his linen coat, you can stand up over
| there by the register and take hold of
hands"
Which side do you want me on?" says
the Duke. trying to look cool.
%. cry side. 1t don't make any odds to
me" says the Mayor. Il don't know what
the practice is among passle OF Dukes.
but as regards the statutes it don't make
any difference. Here in America we don't
care much for frills. We care little here
for what the world calls pomp. We scorn
false and swelled up but tOttering dynasty.
Ii you're ready now say when. and I'll show
you style of splice that can recommend"
Then. as the Duke pulled his stop watch
and gave the word, the Mayor ate another
carda.po On seed and. reading a selection
ing the exercises by means of a kit of bur-
glars tools, proceeded to draw out the
Duke as to his Intentions for the future, and
to quiz him a little as to whether he would
love and cherish. support. maintain. foster.
and encourage his wife. provided he had
one. and whether he would be willing to
divide her private fortune with her in case
she needed money. Getting the Dukes
views on this subject he chatted with the
bride in an off-hand way, meantime trans
acting the other business, ever and anon, as
people came in from time to time to see him
about opening up new street or getting
out license for exhibiting tame bear in
quiet little town.
All being satisfactorily answered. the
Mayor said: Il now desire briefly to pro-
nounce you man and wife. and what | have
joined together as Mayor of New York it
will bother plain citizen to put asunder.
Icannot refrain at this time from making ]
few remarks which have thought up while |
standing here. 1t is these: The duties of |
Duke and those of Duchess are almost |
entirely different. as I understand it. As |
Duke. it will be your duty to receive and ac- |
count for all sucn moneys as may come |
into your hands. paying them out only on |
an order from the Worthy Chief. You will |
be required to do the chores or see that |
they are done by others, see that sufficient |
coal is laid in during the month of August.
while it is cheap. to keep the castle hot till |
spring; also to keep the taxes on your
dukedom paid up and not allow the same
to become delinquent. You will eject the |
cat at half-past each night. lock
the front window carefully. and wind |
the clock. 1t will also be your duty
to love your wife all the time no matter
what the customs OF eminent people may be.
Do not think because you are Duke that
you can come over here and corral a trust
ing American girl. lead her away to your
large stone smokehouse. put up light
board fence around your premises and neg
lect her. If you do that will correspond
with you. and thus make your life a perfect
hell Try and live down the disagreeable
reports l hear about you. Marlborough.
hnma IN wifi, 1
to see all your mail. Read the marriages
i4nd deaths to her from the morning papers.
ask her advice in matters OF business. and
then do as you like. That's the way do.
business. Be good husband. even if you
have to neglect your duties as Duke. and
good luck to you.
To you. Duchess. I need say but little.
You can reason with man and possibly
improve him in that way. but woman's
great success or failure rests in her own
heart. That's why need not talk to you
at length. For awhile it will seem odd when
you will get up from day to day and find
yourself Duchess. but you will get used to |
it at last just as a IMAM gets used to wooden .
leg until at last it seems entirely natural to
him. And now. Duchess. adieu. and God
bless you. So long. or bon jour. as We say
n dear old France.
And now said the Duke. as he picked .
up his umbrella and felt apprehensively in
JAS vest. MI. neWltt, HOW IuuCu dHc YOU Out \ :
on this?'
-Oh. any time will do for that" said the !,
Mayor. and II you don't pay it at all. that
will be all right. guess.
We'll. then. if you don't want to take I
anything for it. / am much obliged. any 9
how. and il L can do you a favor any time ,
Just press the button and you'll get wait !
ID on.
It was not long till the eminent but i'm {
moral Duke returned to his estates. No I
body welcomed him. Ee got OF at the sta I
ion and had to carry his vaiise and hat box
Up to the castle. There all was hushed and
he Duke had to crawl in at the front win
low and unfasten the door before he could g
et the Duchess In. A proud Duke hates to :
10 that 1t makes him hot. People 60 BY '
md see him tearing his small clothes on q
1ail rs he hangs by means Of his stomach
N the ledge Of the window. II unmans !
lin end MAKES him say things which would Z
iound better In the afadavit room Of news
)aoer. II