The Dickinson press., 1889-06-29
THE STAFF OF LIFE.
GIVING UP THE GOOD OLD TIME
PRACTICE OF LEANING ON 1T.

GIVING UP THE GOOD OLD TIME
PRACTICE OF LEANING ON 1T.
Ago, and Now Genuine Bread Is Barred.
A Princcvilliun's Observations in Co
tham-Dcscription of Vienna Bread.
1t has become UNREASONABLE i'll New York
society to eat bread. Long ago the -Four
Hundred gave up eating pic, for it is SO vul-
gar to eat pie, don't you know. Now they
are in the midst of another great social Ievo-
luton, and are about TO give up eating bread.
/ spent a few weeks in New York, and
after l had been there n few days there came
over me an indefinable desire for something
to eat, not for something TO eat in general,
for, luckily, l had been eating regularly
every day, but for something to eat in par
ticular. l felt an inward craving. ! was
like the opium smoker without his pipe, or
the drunkard without his tipplc. 1t finally
came to me that what l wanted was bread.
l had been brought up to cat bread. In the
various restaurants where l had been eating
had been supplied with bread, but it was
Vienna bread. Consequently, l had had no
bread. New York Vienna bread is not
bread, but bread crust. 1t is baked i'll loavcs
in the form of Il baseball bat, about six feet
long and three inches in diameter.
The outer surface, of course, is crust, and
owing to the intense heat to which it is sub
jected in the oven and to the coating of var
nish which is spread over it this crust is Of
the consistency of fire clay. The interior of
the loaf is Il hole. a loaf of Vienna bread
looks more like n section of drain tile than
anything else. Clinging to the inner surface
of the crust is Il layer OF bread about like the
nap on n plush lap robe. There isn't enough
Teal genuine bread in II loaf of Vienna bread
TO furnish Il meal for Il hen. ! will wager a
small sum of money that l can eat Il wagon
load of Vienna bread ut one sitting if l can
bar the crust.
WILL NOT BE
But it has become questionable TO cat
bread in New York-that is, among the
"Four Hundred and their followers. a
confidence man, Il friend Of mine, induced
me to dine with him ono evening ut II fash
ionable private "hotel'' on Thirty-:hird
street. At dinner each individual was served
with a portion of Vienna bread about the
size, shape and consistency of IL glass ink
stand. / asked for more bread, but didn't
ioCe II. L btSai IL luOlcSl wiz ullpul HWY
amounted to Il kick, when the man who sat
beside me and who is a gentleman Of fashion
and well bred, and who had in his CONVERSE
ton with mo shown great familiarity with
the dry goods merchants of Chicago. i'll
formed me that it was not the proper thing
to cat brcad-tllat potatoes had recently
taken the place of bread at dinner.
l was inclined To dispute the possibility Of
bread being displaced by any other article of
food, but when l considered that everybody
i'll New York is forced to cat Vienna bread !
did not wonder greatly that they are being
wcancd from it. | am sorry that | must quit
eating bread if | would be fashionable. But
somehow, although l am rapidly becoming
lumtum i'll many respects, | am too much of
Il plebeian 10 eradicate from my system that
Unborn desire to eat bread. | must cat bread
if everybody in the world points the fngcrof
scorn ut ne.
Ever since l was n little boy down in
Princeville, when | would come into tho
kitchen on Il summer afternoon, tired from
fighting bumblebccs' nests, and my mother
would give me II piece of bread about the
size of a saddle flap, spread thick with golden
butter and thicker still with raspberry jam
ever since then | have had an uncontrol-
liable hankering for bread, which l fear no
amount of social polish will ever rub out of
me. Even when | get to the social point of
wearing Il pigeon tailed coat and a shirt col
lar cut clear TO my wish bone, | will no doubt
retain that low born passion for bread which
ranklcs in all plcbcian blood.
1t has long been impossible in New York
society to get Il piece OF pie. Pie, ono of tho
corner stones of the American constitution,
has been abolished by good English form.
Rnt eppnliuo of pntinp ,,in thnra 10 e. III
ono man of fashion, one swell in New York
society who eats pie and who will have pie
when he thinks ho needs it. His name is
Plummer. He is known i'll some circles rs
"Uncle Billy" Plummer. Ho is in business
on Worth street. He is Il handsome gentle
man, ~faultless in his dress and manner, " wei
known clubman, Il first nighter' at the the
atrcs, and when the winds astern he steers
his OWL yacht around the bay. He would
rather forego washing his face when he gets
out of bed in the morning than to neglect te
s'dress'' for dinner. He is u pink of perfec
ton in everything that nppcrtuins to good
form, but he will eat pie.
He with several other swell gentlemen
dined at Delmonico's one evening. Whcl
Mr.. Plummcr had finished his roast, to the
nstonishment of everybody ut the table Ii,
called for pie. The waiter shrugged hi:
shoulders, spread his hands, and elevated hi:
brows in mingled establishment and dismay
while all the assembled gentlemen, after thu
manner of the famed [llaloo bird, '~evolvct
themselves within themselves to withdraw
from the communicating presence Of q maj
who would eat pic.
Again MI. Plumlner demanded pic and in
quired of the waiter if there was any pic il
the house. The waiter found words to tel
him there was no pie.
Then Mr.. Plummer said: Call nc a mes
senger boy" The boy came. Mr.. Plumnc
gave him fifty cents and said: "Go to tn
nearest second class restaurant and buy me
whole huclilcberry pie. I'll see whether
can have pie or whether l can't have pic"
The boy vanished, but returned again
bringing with him a huckleberry pie in n til
dish. And there right out before everybody
in the presence of all the gentlemen, in til
glare of the electric lights, Mr.. Plumlncr di
eat half of that huckleberry pie, and said
was good.
And still the god of England did not smit
him dead.
And what gives me Il great deal of satisfat
ton to relate and which goes to prove tina
there still remains in New York q spark {
old American spirit, is that when MI. Plum
mer had eaten half of that hucklcberry ri
one of the other swell gentlemen drew up Ii
chair to the table and said: II say, Plum
mer, that pie looks awfully good, don't 20
know. If you don't mind Ill cat the rest {
it myself.'-Paul Hull in Chicago Times.
The Largest Coral Reef.
The largest coral reef in the world is til
Australian Barrier reef, Oh the northea:
coast of that continent, which extends abor
LOO miles. Its average distance from tt
land is twenty to thirty miles, but in SON