The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-06-12
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Fish arc not weighed in their own
scales.
A stock Milking the cows.
Merchant TFaUeler
Speaking of book binding, dictionaries
ought to be spell-bound.
The blacksmith ought TO be able to
give shoer tip on horses.
The polecat has only one life, but the
other eight are not missed.
Charged with electricity-The sub
scribers to the Bell telephone.
Wisps of straw by the hay scales are
bits that have fallen by the weigh side.
1t takes a good many strikes to. make
a baseball match go off well.-SVtings.
The fidelity of adversity is exemplifed
by the manner in which poverty sticks to
the poet.
The young idea may sometimes be best
taught to shoot by putting it through a
course Of sprouts.
An "octave" dinner is the latest fash
ionable craze. The guests arrive after
everything is ate up.
Down on the Rio Grande horse thief
stole a runaway mule that nobody else
could catch.-S4tings.
Little drops of water,
Little Jumps of chalk,
Take their occupation
From the bovine stock.
Merchant Trdreler
Some people are called weak-minded
= +,l- t,p,,, of looc cf 1atr=
to make up their minds.-Somercille Jour
nal.
Ordinarily the ministers create the
Benedicts, but at the White House the
Ben-edicts create the ministers.-HoteL
Nail.
When young man proposes and is ac-
cepted he rings the girls hand. If he is
refused he wrings his own hands
Statesman.
Berlin is bad place to choose for an
important conference, !for it is notorious
fact that its inhabitants are always on the
Spree. Baltimore american.
The doctor sits in his Office chair,
A paradox, strange to see,
For though he is patient in waiting call,
-Goodalps Sun.
Jings-"Chops is all broke up. The
sheriff has just seized his meat market"
Jangs-''Is that sol I saw him this
morning, and thought he looked as if
he'd lost flesh. "-Lo,ceU Citizen.
A ship and a baker are much alike;
Would you know the reason why?
The first You see has pilot on board,
And the last has a lot of pie
-GooddHs Sun.
Sir Rotten Rowe-'I thought you
didn't have bishops sitting in the Ameri-
can Scnate'' Mr.. Madison Squeer-
''We DON'T Sir Rotten Rowe-"Then
who does the combinations the papers
speak ofN-PucL.
HOW SHE DROVE THE NAIL.
She hit the nail fearful whack-
| mean to say, she tried:
She bathed her thumb with arnica,
And then sat down and cried.
The Epoch.
She (at a party)-''Did that rich
bachelor, Captain Rudder, get his title in
the army2n He-"Guess not. A few
moments ago saw him duck his head
when the servant announced Mr.. Low
bridge. n-Pbiiadelphia Record.
Angling for Pie.-Mrs. Salstonstah
(of Boston, Tommy, will you have
piece of mince pie2" Tommy Beacon
street (who is taking dinner ouD-
''Ycs'm, and trust that your apportion-
ment will be commensurate with my
esteem for yourself. "-BurlingtOa Free
Press.
Young Mr.. Brokaw (who believes in
doing everything in business-like way)
Miss Southmayd, l am matrimonially
inclined. You are my choice above all
women desire to marry you. is it
go?" Miss Southmayd Qreezingly)-
ayes, sir. There is the door, ,n-Burlng-
ton Free Press.
~ think that armchair is a beauty"
said the old man, who was in the parlor
with his daughter and her young man;
lit looks almost large enough to hold
two" 80, yes, sir, spoke up the young
man, sit is plenty large enough" And
then he rclapsed into a state OF innocu-
Gus dcSuctudc, while his bushes turned
the ice water ON the table into bright
cochineal ed.-LmcreRce AmericaH.