The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1889-09-20
WISE AND UNWlSEi

mail.
A BERRy-p1cKER generally gets what
he . and cans what he gets.
IRIS swarm enough for any man when
. hive Of bees lights on his head.
Til said there is NO color to the re-
port about . paint trust.
AN ossitied man is being exhibited.
He is the Bonypart of the museum.
CHICAGO lives in an atmosphere of
meat. It is part of the Ills. that flesh
is air to.
The most unfair thing that happens
to women is that engagements are SO
short and marriages SO long.
A MAN may attack q roast turkey vail
antly. and yet quail on toast when sud
denly called upon to respond to one.
The difference between rye whisky
and chloroform ls that one makes q man
stagger and the other makes him limp.
BECAUSE q popular physician is con-
sidered a sduck of a doctor" it by no
means follows that he is something of a
quack.
ToM-What do you understand by
the word "brevity." Dick-Brevity is
o word that describes the prevailing
style of bathing dresses.
Brown-Since Giltedge made a strike
in oil he has got obe quite q high-fyer.
Jones-Well, I should say he had.
Why, he has v added wings to his
house.
SMILEY BAKER-Yes, Tn going to
get married at last, but it's mighty
risky, mighty risky. VAN R1pER-Well,
don't worry; you can't do worse than
your wife. anyway. Who is shes
The vigorous efforts of prize fighters
to spoil each other for future reference
brings to mind the adage: ITO the
victor belongs the spoils." In this case
however, it's the other fellow that gets
them.
A CLERGYMAN, consoling a young
widow on the death of her husband,
remarked that she could not find his
equal. II know 1 can't" replied the
sobbing fair one. But" she added,
with a heavenly smile, II mean to try"
LADY-What! left your situation so
soon, Maria? Maria-Yes, mum, l
couldn't stay no longer. Lady-Why,
Maria? Maria-Well. ye see, mum,
my mistress wouldn't let me ave my
young gentleman to dinner, an they do
say that the only way to a mans art is
through his stomach!
A COMMERCIAL traveller lately left IN
article belonging to his wardrobe at an
inn and wrote to the chambermaid to
forward it to him by return of post, in
answer to which he received the follow
ing:
Ihope, dear sir. you'll not feel hurt;
Ill frankly tell you all about 1t.
I've made a shift with your old shirt
An you must make a shift Without
HEAD Waiter-Hope you are not go
ing to forget the waiter, sir. Guest
No, sir; I'm not going to forget him nor
forgive him, either. Why don't you go
to work and quit begging? Hang me,
If 1 haven't half q mind to have you ar.
rested for vagrancy. Head Waiter
But, sir, I have employment sir; the
I proprietors of this hotel, sir, are my
employers, sir. Guest-Then why
don't they pay you enough to keep you
from begging? Hang me, if I don't
have them arrested, too, as accessories
before the fact.
THE DECEPTIVE LAWN MOWER.
The lawn mower in the picture
Looks ethereal and light,
And the fair young lady pushing it,
A phantom Of delight. .
And You buy 1t and you take it homo,
But ere your work is done,
You'll want an OK to push it,
L.. And you'll swear 1t weighs a ton.
SOmdha World.
THE DEAcON,s EVlL PROPENSITY.
An amusing incident occurred in one