The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-01-18
Only Half a Ghost.

Only half q Ghost.
A weird and startling adventure
the other night befell a respectable
old gentleman residing on Common
wealth avenue, in this city, writes q
correspondent of the st. Louis Globe.
On the evening referred to he wentto
bed quite early, having come home
tired from his bank that
day, while his wife ventured out by
herself to visit a neighbor and gossip
less than blockaway. Abouteleven
PM, as the clock on the bedroom
mantlepiece informed him, lie was
awakened from u sound sleep by n
ring at the door bell, and surmising
that the partner Of his joys returned
without her latchkey, he fastened to
jump into q few essential garments
and run down stairs. A dim light
was burning in the vestibule, and as
he opened the front door Il few rays
were thrown upon most extra Or
binary apparition which stood with
out on the top step, as if waiting to
be admitted. The thing-wbatover
it might be called-was of the femi-
nine gender evidently. 1t even wore
skirts. But il q woman, she was as
suredly most peculiar and unpleas-
ant specimen. For she was not only
headless, butactually did not appear
to have any body above the waist.
In short, it was the lower half of a
fashionably dressed female which had
apparently been ringing for an ell
trance.
Now, the old gentleman is wor-
shipper of the sex. He is notorious
ly n ladies' man, in fact. despite his
years. But, as he subsequently took
occasion to remark, he wants whole
women or none. Taken in sections,
they arc not nearly so attractive.
For this reasonit was that, without
pausing to further examine his
strange visitor, he slammed the heavy
portal to, excluding her.
Scarcely had the echoes died away
when the silence of the house was
again disturbed by n series of I'M
earthly rumblings from below, ac-
companied by sundry quasi-human
squeaks in crescendo. All wns still
inter that for abouta minute, and
then-n step was heard, slowly as
cending the stairs from the cellar.
Meantime the old gentleman had
stood irresolute in the hallway, not
knowing what on earth to do, it was
altogether natural under the circum-
stances. Ifhe fled up stairs lie might
he followed by the bugaboos and cor
nered, there being no escape by the
roof The said bugaboos were GER
tainly coming up the back way, and
he could not got out of the front
door without encountering the lower
half of the lady at the entrance. 1t
was indeed u painful dilemma, and
one which might we'll nonplus re-
spectacle business man who was I'M
accustomed to the ways ofspooks.
But the step on the stairs was too
much. There was something about
the deliberateness with which it as
cendcd that was in itself appalling.
Something awful it was bound to be
most likely the other half of the fe-
malo Mt the front door, coming up to
meet it's complementary part and
make IL whole one. The dash of the
old gentleman made for the burglar
alarm and rung in Il signal to the
police station that set u dozen bells
ringing Mt the same time all over tho
house.
"Why, William Henry! What are
you about?"
1t was the voice of his wife, who
made her appearance the same mo-
nent through the door under the
stairs, having evidently come up by
that way from the cellar.
"G-goodness mel" stammered tho
husband, not yet recovered from his
fright. "What are you doinghere in
your petticoat, and where is the skirt
of your dress
81 left it out on the front step. For
got my latchkey and didn't want to
spend the night on the curbstone. 1
rang and rang at the bell, but no
one seemed to hear me; SO, the night
being dark and not soul on the
street, l took off my skirt, slipped
through the coal hole and here i am.
l only got or three trifling bruises
sliding down over the coal pile. But
tell me, what on earth were you do
ing ringing those alarm bells?'
Of course an explanation followed.
The skirt left on the step outside had
stood erect, as any fashionable skirt
will, by the aid Gifts multitudinous
whalebones and steels, which form a
sort of skeleton in the lining. So it
is not surprising that the old gentle.
man mistook it for the lower half oil
an actual woman. 1t was agreed
that the Joke should he kept in the
family, but it was too good to pre-
serve in secrecy, and SO il has leaked
out.
The police were told it was a mis-
take when they came.