The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-04-17

While the nurse lady scampered Win pan
thsr-lke bound;
The wash lady sat at ease in her chair,
While the lady who cleaned up the rooms
fixed her hair
But alas for their joy!-lt was Drler anu
short'lived,
For the woman whose servants they were
had arrived.
Lincoln Journal.
Careful of His Health.
"Will you have piece of my pie, MIR.
Robinsonw
"Did the doctor say T must2" asked
he invalid, meekly. And the landlady
.efused to answer.-Bazr.
Innocence Aloft.
Farmer Ito tramp whom he has sur
orised in fruit tree)-"What are you
loing up there?"
Tramp-"I! Nothing! only hanging
some pears on the tree again that had
ALLEN down. ."-iAait and Express.
An Unmistakable Evidence.
"NIr. Bronson must have failed to pay
lis bill this week"
"Why do you think that2"
"Why, didn't you notice Mrs. Tomp-
Gins gave him the neck of the turkey at
dinner :"-Bazar.
Nothing New.
Mrs. Fangle "Well, this is strangew
Mr.. Fang gle-"What is it, my dear"
"a man in Paris has taught an ape to
black his shoes"
:Oh, there's nothing remarkable
.bout that, my dear. I've often heard
If monkey-shines."
Heard in Chicago.
Armour-T say, Davis, do you re-
member when beef was highest"
Davis-''No, I can't say that I do"
"Why, when the cow jumped over
he moon,' of course. ."--Itme.
Limit to His Love.
She-"You are sure you love me9"
He-"Love you2 Why, I am ready to
lie for you"
She-"When we're married will you
.lways get up and start the kitchen fire"
He-"Er- er-pray be reasonable, my
lear" ."-Epoch.
No Objection.
Tenaweek-"Sir, I wish to marry
7our daughter" :"
Gruff Father -"My daughter, young
nan, will continue under the parental
'oof."
Tenaweek-''No objection will be
aised to that, sir. "-Harper's Bazar.
She Understood Her Business.
Miss Slimdiet-"A new boarder came
while you were out-a young lady"
Mrs. Slimdiet boarding housekeeper)
els she pretty?"
"Awfully."
"Well, in that case put an extra strip
If rag carpet in front of her mirror. u
Philadelphia Record.
From One Mystery to Another.
"Matllda, where is that latch
Key handed you this morning."
Mrs. Jones-'In the pocket of my
lress hanging up over there"
Jones dive minutes later, desperately
-"And now, Matilda. will you please
ell me where to find the pocket OF your
lressl"-Mail anil Eapress.
His Great Compliment.
AS they walk home from church Sum
Law evening he wants to make the very
pest impression, and, after deep thought,
le says:
"You don't know, Miss Clara, how
becoming darkness is to you"
Then he wonders at the sudden and
asting chilliness in her manner. - Wasp.
Why She Preferred the Tenor.
$50 the belle of the choir has married
he tenor?"
eyes"
81 thought she favored the bass"
eyes, but she got some high flown
lotions into her head and threw over the
,ass for the tenor"
"For what reasons"
"Because the tenor was more high
oned. ."-B0StCn Courier.
A Protracted Conversation.
At party the other evening gentle
nan took his friend up to his mother to
make his adieuX. 81 can't wait" he
aid, "but as soon as there is lull in
he conversation you can speak to her. "
Two or three hours later he encountered
he friend, looking very dismal, in the
not where he left him.
"What, unable to tear yourself away,
;hn
NO." mumbled the other, "there
lasn't been lull yet. ."-1ime.
Little Difficulty About That.
Teacher-"A man meeting a farmer
With a drove of sheep said: Good
morning. friend, with your hundred
heep.' The farmer replied: Il have
lot hundred sheep; but if I had so
many more and half as many more and
me Sheep and half, I should have
lundred.' Now tell me how you would
70 to work to find out how many he
lad."
Scholar-"Count them. guess that
would be the quickest way. ."-Boston
Trans. Tipt.
She Jumped at the Chance.
Alfonso de Beriot-"Iou say you are
lot superstitlous, Miss Gushington, but
would you dare be married on Fridays"