Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-11-01
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Busine., Still Going ON at the Old STA,

THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Business Still Going on at the Old Stand.
We extract the following from the
last issue of the arizona kicker:
Don't BLAME H1M.-Last week the
citw treasurer of this town jumped out
with all the public moneys he could lay
hands on. The aggregate was only 500,
but no one should blame him for skip
ping out with that small sum. It was
all he could get, and he had become so
Disguised at having to associate with
members of the common council that he
would have probably gone with $25.
Fun AHEAD.-Ald. O'Grady didn't
take our remarks of last week in the
right spirit. We called him q thief
liar, and drunkard, and instead Of adj
uniting the charges like u gentleman he
INDUCES in threats of personal violence.
Come on, Mr. O'Grady! We'lll try and
make it interesting for you.
And. by the way while on this sub
ject, we feel to observe that of all the
corrupt, dishonest, knavish, drunken
public bodies ever convened in q room
together our town council caps the eli
max. Next week we shall begin war
of externation on these vipers. and if
the fur don't fly it won't be my fault.
A NOVELTY. = We learn that Mr..
James Shields, of Omaha, purchased a
lot on Avache avenue, and intends to
build and open hardware store. This
will be a novelty. Not that we haven't
a hardware store in town, but the idea
of man opening store instead of a
saloon will strike our people queerly.
The saloon interest needn't be alarmed,
however. We know of at least six new
ones which will open this fall to help
control the political campaign.
IT CAN'T BE DONE Now.-For year
or more after we struck this town we
could be kicked and cuffed with per-
feet impunity, even by low-down In
dian. We were knocked down, booted
up and down the street, and had our
nose pulled out Of shape two OR three
times per week, and we never thought
of resisting. We were tenderfoot of
the tenderfootest sort, and it was q
question whether we should pull
through or not.
Let someone attempt to tweak our
nose to-day! The offer of 500 in cash
wouldn't tempt man in town. We
are no longer tenderfoot. The man
who sets out to Gift" us now has got to
beat chain lightning. Every chap who
has piled into us for the last ten
months has got to be carried off on a
shutter, and two of them, as the town
records show, sleep peacefully among
the daisies.
IT MELTED Us.-It is we'll known all
over town we have had a mortgage for
the last three months on the entire out
fit of our contemporary. It covers
everything but his own worthless car
cass, and can be foreclosed any minute.
This being the case, we are often asked
why we don't take possession when that
blotch Of journalism refers to us in
such endearing terms as "jackass,"
"liar, "hypocrite," and so forth.
We did go over one day last week
calculating to turn him out on the sand
hills, but he fell to weeping and melted
us. While it seems hard for man to
be abused by his own property, we
haven't the heart to kick away the bar
rel. And, besides, he runs such an alb
ject apology for weekly paper that The
Kicker receives hosts of compliments
by comparison. We are not going to
be mean with him-not unless he quits
abusing us and tries to publish a good
paper.
A New DEPARTMENT. will be no.
ticed by all our subscribers we add q
new department to The Kicker this
week-that of forecasting the weather.
We have arranged signal Office on the
roof of our own building, and shall take
observations hourly. We have also pur-
chased map Of the United States, and
have arranged program by which
we expect nine-tenths of our predictions
to be verified. This has been long,
felt want in this Locality, and the enter
prise of The Kicker will no doubt be
duly appreciated.
We shall start out at slow pace and
do no rushing until the harness fits
we'll. Our first prediction: Clearer
warmer; cloudy; cool; may rain and
may not;" is sort of feeler, and we
do not advise any Of our readers to give
up an excursion or a Sunday-school pic
mic on account Of it. We hope in time
to get used to the hang of the thing,
and after we have we will guarantee to
beat the government out Of sight or
wear one shirt all winter. Detroit Free
Press.
A jewelers. Story.
1t seems odd that man should try to
impose upon any girl in so cheap way
as to give her an imitation diamond for