The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-08-07
Bric-a-Brac.
TROUGH ever busy ben ye bee,
Exceeding brisk and sprye,
He ne'r excels in industry
Ye early mornynge flye.
Washington Capital.


FIFE is a rather queer name, but some-
how the photographers do not seem to readily
play on it.-LoDeH Courier
IT is meet that the Sandwich Islands
should be populated by the descendants of
Ham, Baltimore american
PREcEpENTs have long reach backwards;
so have mules. This is what makes them
both dangerous Philadelphia Press.
HE who laughs last may laugh best but
he is in danger of being accused of being
very slow to see the joke.-Troy Press
"THE TENTS OF SHEM" is the title of
recent story. Did the tense OF Shem differ
from the mood of Ham?-Chicdgo Mail
IT matters little how scientifically the
pitcher throws the ball. The umpire is the
power behind the thrown.-Boston Tran
script.
lam like tree, " he observed, as the clock
struck eleven. " | am rooted at your side"
" Yes, but you never leave, do you ?" And
he put forth.
THE press of the country still refers to
Baby Mckee as at" Will some well-in-
formed person please rise and eXpain?"-
New York Herald.
FIRST DUDE: "I have tewible news;
Charles is dead" Second dude: "How-
iblel How did he die?" First dude: " His
cane fell on him"
"WHAT makes you so cold, Eve?'' in
quired Adam solctously | rather think,
she replied, "that it's due to the late
ll."-Lotel Mail.
A PoCKEr-BooK made of rattlesnake hide,
which is so repulsive to ladies that they
won't touch it, is having large sale among
married men.-Troy Press.
HAPPY FATHER: Joe, old boy, give me
suitable names for my twin babies" Joe:
Are they boys or girls?'' Girls" "How
will Kate and Duplicate do?"
THE Chinaman's desire to have a fine
funeral has the approval of the Pacific coast
people, but they always want the funeral to
begin right away .-COurier-JOurndl
A BACHELOR in Maine heard that a GER
tain widow had set her cap for him. THAT
is bad moose for me- he exclaimed, and
straightway hanged hmself.-The Ratchet.
THE Italian woman who endeavored to
bring half truckload of jewelry and gloves
into the country free of duty in her hustle
made mistake in not keeping up with the
fashions.--NeW York Tribune.
THE small boy from Spokane Falls who
took off his red shirt to flag the train, and
kept it from running into burned bridge
will live longer in memory than Little
Lord Fauntleroy .'-Helend journal.
SOMEBODY has libelled Philadelphia by
saying that the grass could be heard grow
ing in her streets. We wish it to be under
stood once for all, that everything is quiet
down there-even the grass.-Puck.
BROOKS 81 hear that you and the boys
were out hooking watermelons. Did you
get good oad?" Crooks; You just bet
we did Brooks; and every bit of it was
buckshot, too. Charleston Sunday News.
BROWN: Business must be slack when
you spend your time catching flies" Drug
gst: " Come and help me catch some.
want them to put on a sheet OF tly-paper
4 t,r,
Bdzdr.
A MAINE fisherman has just come into
port with new yarn about the sea-serpent.
He saw him distinctly, and at one time he
even thought he saw two of tn EN-. Pro-
hibition is evidently a dead failure in
Maine.-New York Herald.
AN English author has Published book
called g Mark the King" That may do
| in England but If he were caught marking
the king or any other card in California he
would need physician, and perhaps an
undertaker.-.Sdn Francisco Alta.
A LADY stood hanging on to the strap OF
a horse-car, when a workman in the far
corner arose and politely offered her his
seat. 81 thank you," she said, in very
sweet tone, ''but | dislike to deprive the
only gentleman in the car of his seat"
WARDEN; "Mr. Smith, the electrical
apparatus won't work to-day, and it has
been decided to ask you to be executed in
another way a man is outside ready tC
play the Boulanger march on hand-organ
if you say the word" Prisoner: mo, no
any death but tlat."-Judge.
A FRENCH duel has proven fatal to one o.
the participants A child in Pennsylvania
last week swallowed the handle of its rattl,
and died, and a Tennesseean fell out of bed
while fighting mosquito and broke hi!
neck. Danger turks in the simplest pur
suits of life.-Detrou Free Press.
CONDUCTOR ION Staten Island Rapid Tran
sit railway: " Madam, you must pay full
fare for that boy" Lady passenger with
sigh: 81 suppose will have to pay full
fare the balance of the way but he was onl,
ten years old when we left Tottenville. |
we reach st. George before he has wflisker
I'll not begrudge it."-7erdS SihingS.
A LADY poet, who is described as quit
young and pretty, gushes: 81 would kis
and kill you, could find you" Under tn,
circumstances, we think the young mai
should come out of the woods. 1t woul,
be capital punishment to be kissed to dealt
by a pretty young lady, and besides, it ma
not prove fatal, after all Boston Beacon.
A MAN in our town who, although not al
tanning to be one of the wise men, neverthe
less knows so much that it makes him tire'
to remember half of it, is labelling his librar
in sections. On one shelf he has dictioI
aries, encyclopedias and such like cheer
tones; on the next above, histories of war
and stories of battles; on the next, ancien
history; on the next orations and speeche
, of eminent statesmen and ministers; mex
poetry; and on top, works on political ecoI
omy, tariff etc, So he labels these shelve
, consecutively, Lore" " Gore" " Yore,
Roar" &" Soar " and Snore." He say
he is going to make the room "a poem
! Burdette.
THE annual Universalist grove meetin