St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-10
CHAPTERS ON ARTS.
Chapter the First-The Art of Con
VerSatiOn,


VerSatiOn.
1t is supposed that conversation, like
everything else. has reached its present
pitch of perfection by evolutionary pro-
ceS ses. Oysters may have been crossed
in love, but not even to the pal@ozoic
oyster can be attributed the gift
of language. However, speculations
as to the origin of things are in
bad taste since the passage of the
Declaration Of Independence. We do
not encourage researches into matters
which occurred previous to the date of
that document: nor are we likely to
shut two children up in an oven. as was
done by the ancient Egyptians, in order
to discover what language they would
talk i'll when released. We know. They
would talk stocks.
There are four topics of conversation:
The person speaking. the person spoken
to, the affairs of third parties and the
tender passion. On these subjects
every one can speak. But to speak well
is the difficulty. The question is, What
is the practice among those who have
the best opportunities for talking of
themselveS-and of the other topics
mentioned?
In the first place. the most gifted COLI
sonal pronouns. Dire It reference is in
artistic: and then again it often leads
to reSultS-which may be the business
of science, but is not of an art. Even
when third parties are in question it is
more pleasing if at the outset no names
are mentioned; since when they are
finally disclosed both parties are
highly fiattered, the one for having
penetrated the secret and the other for
having kept it so long, fact well known
to epicures. Gifted cOnversationalists
have been known toprolong the interest
in a perfectly fiat story for days
at time merely by concealing the
identity of the persons it concerned.
The faculty of conversation by innu-
endo. complimentary or otherwise, de-
ponds largely, however, upon individual
peculiarities Of physiognomy. 1t may
be taken for a general rule that eilipsis,
metonomy and allegory are ridiculous
in mouths of over certain size, except
in the dark or when they may De whis-
pered.
Secondly. Gifted conversationalists
are careful to remember that the days
of pure romance are over. Converse
ton nowadays keeps one foot on the
ground and performs its flights in some
Ching of the style of an extremely fine
breed of Leghorn fowl. or of lame
cherub. Anybody wishing to try very
pretty experiment should suddenly ask
a person of the opposite sex in the pres
ence of crowded room to swear an
eternal friendship. The trick rarely
fails to elicit applause, especially if the
performer be actuated by little NAL
ice. Both parties to conversation
should be carefully on the watch for
signs of pure romance, as it undoubtedly
apt to intrude itself, especially into
masculine conversation, when it is gen
orally the result of q slight failure of
Imagination. When indications OF pure
romance do appear, local congresses
should be at once applied, but care must
be taken not to continue the application
too long.
AT the same time the golden rule OBJ
served by gifted conversationaliStS is to
consider all matters in their relation to
the person spoken to. This, however,
requires the most delicate handling,
and to be successfully accomplished de-
mands extreme skill in chiaroscuro. 1t
must always be done off-hand and in
apparent sincerity and simplicity both.
Here the unDracticed are in danger of
romance by mere awkwardnesS. which
is not pleasing even to the furniture.
1t would be most advantageous could
this great art be taught by example, but
ii is as incommunicable by such means
as Paganini's touch upon the violin.
All that can be said is that only practice
will bring it to those i'll whom it is not
naturally implanted, and that it de.
mands perfectly straight face.
Half memory is much favored BY
academicians, but very accurate OBJ
servation and recollection are in fact
necessary to hit off the proper de-
gree of confusion of memory so as nei-
Their to seem actually discourtcouS on
the one hand or obviously affected on
the other. In general, it may be said
that the best school favors the
recollection of what was appa-
rently forgotten before the person
spoken to can suggest it. This sort of
recollection is best done III a flash, with
lighting up of the countenance and
general air of plying amusement at the
absurdity Of the thought that one could
have forgotten anything connected with
So-aud-so. though it is to be remem-
bered that a sincere person will not af-
feet to pretend that he did not for
get. He did forget, and You see that it
was simply owing to the pressing char
acter of his many occupations: but you
also perceive that the indicator has
moved forward little on the dial of
friendship, to employ a permissible
metaphor. and that on your next meet
ing he Will remember this one.
Wherever a serious turn may be
taken. academicians take it, if only for
look down the road. 1t is also better
practice TO seem to inquire respectfully
into the doubts, experiences, hopes or
ideals of the person spoken to than to
pr0lfer ones own. or course. one party
must keep the spirit lamp of sympathy
full of alcohol, but that being tacitly
arranged between them, the business of
the other is merely to gently puff at the
flame.