davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10
FULL OF FUN.

Both q punch in the stomach and
y punch in the head will make a man
groggy. although through different
natural causes.-Minneapolis Tribune.
-Norah-'.An' has your mistress
good taste?" Bridget-"GOod taste. Is
it? Faith. her dresses look better on
me than do me own."-ronkcrs States
man.
-Sunday-School Teacher-"What
must we do before we can have our
wrongs forgiven?" Bright Scholar
1--WE must first commit the wrongs."-
Omaha World.
Cook (neXt day after her arrivnl)
~ am often little hasty, madam,
and then l am apt to be saucy; but you
needn't mind-you can make me n lit.
tic present, and get pleasant again.
Wasp.
The frosty feelings left the air,
The bird sings to his mate.
Ard lovers leave the rocking chair
To swing upon the gate.
Boston Courier.
Mr. A-"May l confide i'm you;
have to tell you secret" Mr.. D.
What is it?" Mr.. A. docking
around to see if any body is listeningl
II need $500" Mr.. B.-"Don',
fear. will be as silent as the grave.
Epoch.
dunn has good ears for music,
hasn't he?" asked ono member OF a
choir to another. WELL" was the
reply, che has good ears. but didn',
know they were for music; thought
they were to brush the flies of the top
of his head with"
-Ossian, the bard. Aourishcd in the
highlands OF Scotland in the year 209,
and he never had poem rejected by
a newspaper editor. This was some.
thing worth Dragging about. although
printed in Ossian's day may have had
something to do with it.-Norristowu
Herald.
did ! ever say all that?" he
asked. despondently, as she replaced
the monograph on the corner of the
mantelpiece. You did" 'And you
can grind it out of that machine when
ever you choose?" Certainly" "And
your father is a lawycr?" Eyes. >
mabel. when can place the ring on
your finger and call you my wife?"-
Merchant Traveller.
-Customer-'I see you are adver
Using full sets of teeth for So" Den
fist carbohydrates, sir. DO yor
live at home?" Customcr-'No.
board" Dentist with dignity)-''Yor
certainly can not expect an s. set TO b.
of any use in boarding-hOuse. sir
My charge to you will be $25."
-Jimson-''lt was a pretty little
superstition that people had Once-tht
idea that every man had guardian
angel who kept him out Of mischief i
he would only obey the promptings o
spirit" Simson-''I am little in
clined to think that the belief nigh
have had some foundation. When
proposed 10 the present Mrs. Simson
remember a feeling which l then mis-
took for fear held me back. SO that
made three efforts before popped the
question. "-Tcrre Haute Express.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

Can you shoot a revolver? she
asked. in a whisper. OF the girl next
to her on the car.
Yes; but don't you never. never
tell any body"
"Why?"
..You know Annie Blank? Well.
she learned to shoot revolver and il
got out, and after that she didn't have
one Irritation a month. I'm not going
to tell any body until after I'm mar
ried. "-Detroit Free Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10
A QUEER BURGLARY.
The Perpetrator Captured and Made
Happy Thereby.

You have been recommended to
me, SIR"
looked up from the drawing l was
studying. as musical yet low voice
uttered the words knew that was
to look upon a female. Twas disap-
pointed to find her closely vailed.
A slender form. plainly yet richly
clad, confronted me. a small gloved
hand resting on the desk just in front
of me.
What is it that you desire, madam"
l said. the moment l could gather the
words to reply.
Assistance, SIR"
Exactly"
waited calmly for her to speak fur
thcr. Some inward emotion seemed to
hold her tongue for full minute.
When at length she did speak her voice
trcmbled pcrceptibly.
Il have met with 4 loss. sir, one
that can ill afford, and l have come
TO you TO help me. Ihave been assured
that you are detective OF ability, and
Just the one to assist me in my present
trouble"
please state your case. madam. !"
said l. blushing inwardly at the praise
she was giving my abilities.
My brother Frank was a sailor. sir,
and visited many countries. and some
times he brought home queer articles
from the Orient One he presented to
me. a Hindoo idol, an image of gold
and precious stones. the value Of which
has never been computed. care nos
so much for the money value Of the
image, although Heaven knows am
not beyond want, but I-prize il as a
keepsake from my brother. who long
ago166nd grave in the waters Of the
ocean"
Emotion cut short further speech on
the part of the girl. was deeply in
terested. and waited with some degree
of impotence for the girl to proceed.
Il have had the image several
years." she went on. Frank brought
it with him on his return from the East
Indies. and promised never to part
with it. Since he was lost times have
been hard. Mother died. and father
became helpless. Out in this Western
country father had some land. and
resolved TO move on il. That was a
year ago. We have been here since
Doubtless you know the ranch, the
stone house in the BASIN
Yes. know" l returned. Il have
passed the house many times. and a
lonely place it is. You are Miss
Grandis?"
Il am Irene Grandis."
We'll. about this image When
was il stolen?"
1.-Two nights ago"
do you suspect any one?"
- She lifted her vail now and presented
ap..le, beau.ifdi
lido not wish to seem ungratefu
m1ln6 Mr. ShOrk but can mol
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10
A Stout backbone

II ~ essential to physical health as TO polit-
ical consistency. For weakness OF the back,
rheumai ism, and disorders Of the kidneys,
the tonic and dietetic action Of Hostctter's
Stomach Bitters is the one thing needfuL
The stomach is the mainstay of every other
organ, and by invigorating the digestion
with this preparation. the spinal column
and all its dependencies, are syirpathet-
ically strengthened The dyspeptic and
bilious will find it pure vegetable stimu-
liant and toEic.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

The liquor law is being SO vigor
ously enforced in Manchester. N. H.,
that dealers are compelled 10 carry
their stock in their pockets, where i;
is safe as tie Law does not admit O
the searching Of person.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

A GOOD Sign that one IL essentially night
himself consists in the fact that Others arc
made better BY his presence, and by their
contact with him and are likely to lose In
this respect by his absence. such fact
tells well for his influence among men.
when,ths reverse Is the fnct tho conclusion
Is Just the opposite.-N. Y. Independents
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10
A Piece Of Her Mind.

A lady correspondent has this to say:
II want to give piece OF my mind to
certain class who object to advertising when
it costs them any thing-this won't cost
them a cent suffered q living death for
nearly two years with headaches, back3chc,
in pain standing or walking, was being lit
orally dragged out Of existence, my misery
increased by drugging. At last, u despair.
I committed the sin Of trying an advertised
medicine, DIR. Pierce's Favori.e Prescrip-
ton, and it restored me 10 the blessedness
Of sound health honor the physician who.
when he knows he can cure. has the moral
courage to advertise the fact" The med
icine mentioned is guaranteed to cure those
delicate diseases peculiar TO females. Read
printed guarantee on bottle-wrapper.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

UNITED STATES MINISTER SrnAUss has IN.
duced the Sultan of Turkey TO allow the ex.
plorers sent out by tho University Of Penn
sylvania TO excavatc in the ruins Of anciens
Babylon for two years. This favor has been
vainly sought BY representatives ct Euro
mean DOHeF2.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

We value everything in this world BY
comparison. Water and air have no Intrinsic
value, and yet Jay Could if furnishing IN
tie desert. would give all his wealth for o
pint Of the former. and think it cheap;
hence, life and health are the standard of
all values. If your system is full of Mala-
ria you will be very miserable; few doses
Of Shallenberger's Antitiote will make yeu
well ard happy. Is one dollar high price
to payi
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

IN Finland's system Of public schools
manual training is universal Boys learn
70 sew as well ss girls, and girls also learn
carpentry,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

Am vou troubled with Q sluggiSh, inset
I've Nveri Arc you biliousi Do You eul0sr
from Jaundicel Has your complexion .
sickly, yellow tingel The blood IN its pas
sage through the liver does not furnish the
healthy action which should result from It
Tho impurities are stopped, and cioggne
up the duct, cause o disordered condition,
which will produce serious results to your
health, unless you take Browns Iron Bit
tiers at once It will cure your biliousness
and jauudice, and incite TO healthy action
the sluQg1sh liver.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

I'm telephone is used on tho continent OF
Europe to enable the guard Of . train de-
tanned between stations to communicate -
the nearest point for assistance.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

No SPECIFIC for local skin troubles equals
Glenn's Sulphur Soap.
Hill's Hair and wLisker Dye, so cents.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

TRAcn boys and girls tho actual facts d
life as soon as they are old enough to under.
stand them, and give them the sense Of 70.
opo3sibilty without saddening them.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

Musr not be COMPOUNDED with common cath
artic or purgative pills. Carriers Little Liv-
err Pills are entirely unlike them in every re-
spect. One trial will prove their superiority.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

TnB man who finds trout In town that
have been twenty four hours on ice palatar
bic will never be . conspicuous cpicure.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

LEAVE your business unduly and your
business will leave you.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

Oregon, tho fara,,iso OF Farmers.
Mild, equable climate, certain and abundant
In the world. FuliinfOrmation free. Address
Oregon immigration Board. Portland. Oregon
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

TINS is 'sEnglish rs she is spokcd'' in
Parliament: "Don't interrupt me until ] am
d0nAu
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

ExGLIsn fakirs paint sparrows yellow ant
sell them for canaries.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

THOSE who wish to practice economy
should buy Carter's Little Liver Pills,
Forty pills in q vial; only one pill u dose.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

For all arrangements Of the liver. stom-
ach aud bowels, take DR.. Pierce's Pellets.
One DOSE
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

BETTER to die at the post Of duty than h
live elsewhere.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

LIDO not wish to seem ungratefui
: 06rhpa. Nr. Short but ! can n0s
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-08-10

proposed to work.
Although Irene Grandis had asserted
that che had no admirers among tho
sterner sex / was satisfied that she
was mistaken In partial sense at
least On this supposition l proceeded
to work.
For several days hung about the
Old stone house without making any
discoveries.
One morning l entered the house to
find its members more deeply excited
than ever. The invalid. Mrs. Grandis.
was nervous to prostration. and Irene
met me with a pale face and troubled,
half-starved expression Of the eyes.
We've been visited again." shc
said
'.Visited?"
Yes. by the idol thief"
Then she turned about and showed
me where large chestnut curl had
been severed from her head.
1T was done last night" she ex-
planned. When l felt the cold steel
against my head l awoke and saw a
human form darting away. He went
through the window. ! nearly tainted
from fright, and feel almost afraid
to live another night under the roof. -"
was puzzled but fully satisfied that
the perpctrator of these strange acts
was an admircr of Miss Grandis. She
again asserted, however. that she had
no gentlemen friends in the West save
her father and John Lawns.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04
WAITING Wheelmop Entertained

visiting WneeIm0n
Chief Counsel Davis, Expert Wheelmen
Roberts and Spooner and Munford, of Chi
cag0, were the guests of the Cycling Club on
Sunday, and Messrs. Hull, Osman, Wylie,
Kusel, Hess and Bowers, gave them a
splendid run to the south and southwest.
Some accommodating wheelmau footed his
little wooden whistle in the morning SUM-
light and the bright wheels were soon whirl-
ing down the river road toward Starved
Rock. As they passed along and the beau,
ties of the valley were exposed to view the
Chicago men were increasing in their praise
of Ottawa's environments and when Starved
Rock was reached, and the climb to the top
completed, theyIgazed upon the panorama of
river, bluff, and green bottom, with un.
fsigned admiration. The run from Starved
Rock to Wild Cat Canyon was short but
sweet, and later, the Ottawa boys found the
" waiting board" at the Utica hotel. The
smell of the burning sugar and bones in the
ruins of the cremated groceries within q
stones throw of the feast was not apprecia-
ted, but what is it that may turn sturdy
wheelman from the festive board?" The
run home was very enjoyable, and visits to
Buffalo Rock and the County Asylum were
saudwlched in between pedal kicks Counsel
Davis has the "say'' as to where the state
meet will be held, and he is very enthusiast
tic over Ottawa. Wheemen Hull and Os-
man aver that the Counsel is "stuck on OF
tawa, and after striking town, when the
boys ran him around the race track at the
driving park, said that the track was in bet.
ter condition than was that at the last meet,
aud that should the July meet and races be
held here there would surely be a smash in
the records with a track like this one.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04
ARE YOU GOING TO PAINT


A harm, Roof, Boat or u Floor.
II SO, remember that We can give you in
side figures, as We buy in large quantities
and can carry the largest stock in The county
of pure lead, pure linseed Oil, varnish
brushes, dry colors and in OIL and the well
known Alston's mixed paint so long on this
market, speaks for itself You may have nc
trouble to find some one of your neighbor:
that have used them Our best reference i,
our customers. Please give us a call wher
ready to paint. LUTz & BRIGGs,
North Of court house.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04

James Murphy, a stranger, was placed
under $500 bonds before Squire Weeks on
Monday, for breaking into George Colwell
house on Sunday night. He made consid-
siderable noise in entering and when Mr.
Colwell found him he was lying on the floor
in the kitchen in semidrunken condition
He claimed he was drunk and entered the
house by mistake. During his short stay
here he was in the employ Of Baldwin &
Priseler, who say he always conducted him
self in proper manner.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04

The base ball season, with its broken fin
gers and fractured front teeth, has captured
the boys-and number of big boys--at one
fell swoop. On Tuesday an alleged game
was played by the High School nine and the
Cresents, it was very rank, the score being
"a to % in favor of the school, The blowers
and gathers Of the Flint Glass Works gave Il
better game on Sunday-score II to 7 in
favor of the blowers.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04
The Weather for April.

From DR.. j. o. Harris Records. The
mean temperature for the month was 66.S
deg which was 1921 deg. above the gener'
al average. or normal, for April.
The rainfall was 2.44 inches, which was
only about two,tenths Of an inch below the
normal.
The highest temperature during the
month was rs deg, which was ABS deg.
below the normal.
Frosts we're seen on the mornings of the
Goth and 2Sth.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04

Tuesday was the great centennial day, and
also the last day Of the season for the festive
oyster, On Wednesday he ceased to hold
the universal palate in delicious tbraldom
and retired with the regret of every honest
and thoughtful American. From this time
forth, or until month comes along with
self-respect enough TO have an or" in its
name, the pIebeian and leathery clam holds
sway. The King is dead Long live the clam
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04

John s. Kerr died at his home on the
north side on Wednesday evening of pneu
monia aged forty-eight years. He had been
resident of this city for fifteen years, and
was foreman of the bridge gang on the Fox
river branch of the c., B. & O. road. He
leaves wife and eight children. The fun
eral under the auspices of Industry Lodge
No. 20, A. 0. O. W, took place from his late
residence.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04
Manicure Parlors.
HAVE YOUR FINGER NAILS BEAUTIFUL.

HAVE YOUR FINGER NAILS BEAUTIFUL.
Biting of the finger nails, brittle, and
hang nails cured. A full line of Mrs Cobb's
celebrated manicure goods in stock. Polish
ers recovered. Ofi;e hours daily from a.
N. till s o. N. Windsor Hotel.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04

Among the new advertisements in the
FREE TRADER this week are those of d.
Leahy, Degeu Bros, Mahcr & Butter 0. r.
Chslfrant and J. L. Piergue, which wall be
found ia another column.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04
Obituaries,

Miss ANN ARMOUR died at her residence
on Illinois Avenue on Sunday morning last,
at the age of 70 years. Some two or more
years ago she was affected by a stroke of
paralysis which brought her to deaths door,
but she recovered the shock and for some
months until few days ago she was much
improved in health and was able to ride out
and was out, when the weather was mild,
until Friday, we believe; so that her death
on Sunday may be said to have been unex-
pebted. She was Scotch by birth and pa
for fully forty years; living quiet, unas.
suming life, but one full of good words and
works; in former years actively interesting
herself in church work and charitable deeds;
and, later, liberal with her means in the
same directions when the physical burden
OF them fell necessarily to younger persons.
Living single, she managed her own bust
ness matters with judiciOus ability, and died
leaving comfortable fortune. The funeral
took place on Tuesday afternoon, and was
largely attended, among those present being
number of relatives from Chicago La Sale
and various western states whittier in the
years since the Armours came to this county,
the family has become scattered.
WILLIAM o'DONNELL.
William ODonnell died at his home in
Wallace, on Saturday morning, of pneumo
MIA, aged seventy .one years.
Mr.. 0'Donnel was among the earliest
settlers of Wallace, breaking the sod when
the country was yet new and promising lit
tie else than years of hardship. He was
born in Ireland in 1918, the year when Hi.
inois was admitted to the union, and came
to America at an early age. When he first
handled the pillow in the soil of Wallace be
was poor man, but, endowed with strength
and pluck, and a mind capable Of poering
into the future, be toled on and saved his
hard Learned dollars until he was able to
deliver the place over to others and enjoy
his later years in the peace of conten;m ent
and rest He was highly respected and es-
teemed by large circle Of acquintances in
this county, among whom he ranked az
a prominent man whose advice was worth
their attention. He leaves q wife and fami-
ly who mourn him as a kind husband and
an indulgent father The funeral took place
from St. COLUMBIA church at nine o'clock on
Monday morning, when his remains we're
inferred in st. COLUMBIA cemetery.
MRS, BARNEY SHORT.
Mary, wife Of Barney Short, residing on
the north side, died at her home on Tuesday
morning of pneumonia, aged sixty two years
She had resided in this city many years, be-
ing one Of the earliest settlers of the north
side. The funeral took place from St.
COLUMBIA at nine clock on Thursday morn
ING
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04

The carpet sales of j. E. Scott Il Co. for
the last ten days have been very large. We
noticed yesterday large lot of new carpets
and mattings piled on the side walk This
firm is having the largest carpet trade it
ever had; they never showed such large
stock as they do now.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04
Not That Old

The FREE TRADER man sauntered into
Hess bakery and confectionery store on
Wednesday and asked for loaf of New
England bread, for which Hess has become
famous.
1.-TWO or three year old?" asked Louie.
The F. I. man was for a moment dazed,
but when he remembered that the second
installment of the stakes in the colt races
is due, he mildly reasoned that he was
talking bread and Louie was talking horse.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04

STRAwN.-A letter from Mr.. II. c. Strawn
says his family are about to move into their
new, elegant home in Jacksonville, Florida;
and that the daughters, Stella and Grace, will
sail for Europe on the City Of Paris on her
next trip out-a Jout the 10Th.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04
"a COLD DAY"

Fishers very funny musical comedy en-
titled "a Cold Day." with all their own
special scenery, new songs, dances, &C.,
will be produced at the Opera House on Fri,
day night next, May 10Th. The company
is a strong one and includes a cast Of singing
and dancing comedians. CarlGtta, the cham
pion song and dance artist, is one OF the
strongest features Of the play. Her dresses
are said to be very handsome-she changing
them nine times during the play. The two
comedians, Jno ], Lesseuger and Fred c.
Palmer are very funny in their parts as
they keep the audience in one roar Of laugh-
ter from the rise until the fall Of the curtain.
Also the cornet solo Of Ches Baugham which
is very fine. This company has just closed
a weeks engagement at Kansas City, where
they packed the house every night, During
the play q number of vocal selections from
Dixey's Adonis, Harrigan's Leather Patch,
Ricos Evangeliue, and other well known
operas are charmingly rendered, as we'll as
the jokes and funny sayings which are
all new.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-04

Rev. DR.. Frederick will deliver the last
of the discourses on Jewish Antiquities, next
Sunday evening. The subject is Jewish
customs, eating, marriage, salutation, etc
These discourses have been full of interest
and profit