Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1889-12-21
PLEASANTRiES.

A STEEL cruser-a pirates crew, sin
ARE widows so-laced when they wear
:prsets?
Why shouldn't mans head spin if it
wants to? It's the top Of hi, body.
AUTUMN taxes the verdure from the
trees, but spring will come to their re-
Leaf.
THERE should never be any surprise
at discovering that a near-sighted mar
IS an eye dull person.
Sun-How's the old man after yester.
days game? Moon-Oh, you're too
bright; you quite eclipse him.
Mrs. BUFFEL-What is your little
boys name? Mrs. Duhel His name Is
John, but we call him Johnny for short
"YoU say the evening wore on. What
did it wear on that particular occasion|
inquiries a correspondent. The close Of
day, of course.
SHE--I visit this romantic spot an
nually. He-Are your stays long?
She-None of your business, sir. l
Thought you were a gentleman.
THE failure of Philadelphia wool
firm is said to be due to the fact that the
banks wouldn't take their paper. Some
Atwood suits will doubtless be the re-
suit
THERE is one paper that will destroy
the polish of any one it may come in
contact with" "Bless me, my good
man, what is its name?" "Sandpaper,
madam"
MARY-Mebbe I'm ugly now, mum,
but in my day broke many hearts.
Mistress Well, Mary, if you handled
the hearts the way you do my best
china, | believe you.
FATHER Jennie, my dear, how is it
you always ride home? 1t is bad
habit to get into. Jennie Why, father
| see IN the Fashion ReUje,U that the
riding habit is quite the thing this
easOn!
STINGY EMPLOYER - What Want
more pay? John Jacob Astor began
work on a salary of 81 week and he
died worth $40,000,000. Store Boy
Yes, sir There's a big difference in
bosses.
A MAN, desiring to have pet dog
licensed, facetiously asked the clerk il
the dog had to make personal applica-
ton. NO" was the reply. You, as
the next Of kin, can take out the
!, papers"
BIG CALF (vainly) Get out of the
way, or I'll step on you. You're no.
; body. Barnyard fowl (haughtily)-Ii
you could hear folks grumble when they
e find veal in chicken salad you'd change
your tune.
t GRoCER-Tve got a lot of limburge
f cheese that I'm going to sell at cost.
: want to stick up some taking notice o
: the sale. Can't you give me something
t RedGiwit-How would "unapproachablC
It bargain" suit you?
n FIRST SwELL-You seem to be dowl
on George. What is the trouble be
:. tween you? Second Swell-Well, yol
see, we were always friends, but now h
S has gone and got pair Of trousers a
4, i
e A ST. LOUIS man who has manage,
Y to get rid of two nervous wives, ad
: yertise5 for another helpmeet, and an
|, nomces the quality of female he re
- quires: "Wanted-A woman who ha
n sense enough to stand still and not now
l; when grasshopIer is crawling up he
u stocking"
Il ANOTHER victim Of the Demon Driu
% -Prohibitionist Cto prisoner Vel
- my poor man, what brought you here
Prisoner (weeping)-Rum Prohib
ZIONIST (taking out note book Al
how was that? Prisoner (breakin
a down completeIy)-The Judge and Jun
- were both drunk.
as DO YOU want the leaves raised o
e. your grass" asked the boy, as he ran
y the door-beli of a house. why. "
he haven't got any," replied the woman
or I'VE haven't single shade-tree
~ y front "Oh but you've got four bi
en- baskets Of leaves out here" proteste
to the boy. "Nle an mother boy dumpe
~ EN- here early this morning, and L
ii. carrv en- off for nickelw