Telegram-herald., 1889-05-15
HOSTESS AND GUEST.
rh~tr hesps<Gss D~tses Ably D~aass /
LaaS " rs1eE.

LsaS NrstsE.
TIE rrsf agty q t1s kostess : - unzke
her guests scesslEtsd wstn e1c5 otker,
writes ga1e Alaen il tae ChrsUaa Uu.gB.
j. sens csreles q - ooas lered e. q site
ust 10 intEod .ee. Dct as ye1az -sy s4sly
ooservea 1T n2sy be e-as-etts e1t Is is Lea
. pe' - etlez ezelts TIE very orsRn q th.s
word -.stlqaettef suggests Is limitations
81 uleals Laghlag 1lore tn&t - uskct. and
was Al nrss Tie woocea TX O. bundle IA
cllstiag - oonleats- To-Day . represents
tbo Ezrz pl1eed b. society % rs approved
UsaEes, aud nay be freely tfaas-s,sa -
'sood form." J. ls, q course 4aly . mirror
~hlea rejects every change u fashion,
walls pollteusss : = Substantial 4nd pernas
ueaE expression q god VII Aaa Al1e
feeling
II ne sccepl b - lhs dictate of courtesy
thai oae guests should DC infFoC iced u
follows that they should % introduced in
such Way as u make 10 easy % fa-i 40
conversation. L = Rot pecessAry th2t the
hostess should present Nj. Smah a. the
Australian eXP.orer," Or Mss Brown as
The author Of th4t charming posm Ia the
Age" Such "a introduction almost neces-
states personal turn % tne couyersstioa,
and MAKES it decidedly AWKWARD for tie
the Australian expedition or the poem. Ia
nothing IS the skill II the hostess 80 clearly
shown as ia tnls word with which she
sh0yes TIE boat " new acquaintance OF me
social strand A h.nt Of some topic IN
which the people iatrlduced are mutually
Interested an GAgsion 10 an acquaintance
which they hold Ia common, mention OF
some place, book or picture familiar % both,
launches them successfully: and the hostess
may turn 10 her other guests with her mlnd
at ease. II she IS wise, she VIII have asked
several persons, preferably young girls,
70 act as assistant hOstesses, 10 snare the
duties OF introducing and entertaining.
She VIII also have invited several moro men
than women, in order 10 have Z circulating
medium; as man may without awkward
ness be left standing alone, woman never
Nothing IN the line Of party giving Is 50
easy as small evening party. IL IS often
pleasantest when most informal. Invite
only such guests as come 70 see you, and do
not, as Emerson SAYS, interpose screen or
hta9s between you and them. Have done
with apologies Deficiencies speak for
themselves and their mouths are not 10 be
shut by explanations. Welcome your guest
heartily, set before him your best OF mate
rial and spiritual refreshnent, and then
cease 10 be over-anxious as 10 his enjoy
ment.
Let the rooms be softly. but not dluly,
lighted Lamps, except for odor OF kcro-
sene, are preferable 20 gas, on account Of
the mllder light. Strew the tables with
books and photographs, draw chairs and
sofas into easy groups, that four or five
guests may talk together without effort. IL
refreshments are 20 DO passed, have every
thing ready In @ side room, and strive to
time tho serving so that IL may fll pause,
instead Of breaking in upon fun
tide OF conversation or music. Instruct the
servant that oil tho people in the same
groupare TO be served at the same time. If
not too warm, light fire, as a gathering
point. Add to these surroundings the in
spring presence of genial host and
hostess, and what guest could fail TO re-
spond by cheerful readiness 10 enter into
the spirit of festiyityl
Alas there are people who settle back
leaden weight upon their entertainers;
people whose eyes are fixed on hole in the
sofa cover while they listen languidly to
their host; people who appear TO regard
vivacity as mark Of inferior breeding
social oysters, who hope, by never opening
their shells, 10 deceive the world into the
belief that they hold pearl. All these are
as common as they are depressing. The
ideal guest is much more rare than the
ideal hostess. Tho role involves the power
TO play second fiddle gracefully, to take
time from the first violin, and aim simply
to aid the general effect With no personal
interest in making q party q success, TO
throw ones vital energies into the breech
is Il stretch OF sltruism as rare as admir-
able.
Much OF the explanation Of the lethargy
Of guests lies in that phrase; "The expend-
iture of vital energy We, as a race, are
too tired for social enjoyment An editor
who was invited TO literary gathering TO
listen TO q paper, responded, with more
vigor than civility: Good gracious! would
you ask n man who had been telling trees
all day for living TO come 10 wood chop
ping party in the evening for fun"
The task of making society socable may
well stagger q hostess II IL involves first
regulating the business day of the guest
But that leisure class does not solve the
problem is sufficiently attested by Byron's
| description Of
Society, one vast ard polished horde,
Formed of two mighty tribes. the bores ana
bored"
This ia the verdict of ono who had tried all
the luxury and elaboration that could be
devised by a class which made society q
chief pursuit. Suppose, then, VIC begin ct
the other end, and try what hep may lie 10
simpllflcs,ion, and the adaptation Of society
TO the requirements Of business men and
busy women; in adopting a social code
wherein the only thing demanded OF the
hosts shall be spirit Of hospitality, and
the only requisition or the guests readiness
70 be entertained and desire 10 contribute
something TO the hilarity Of the occasion.