Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-05-17
PITH AND POINT.
A capital skylight-Thc moon.
A cultivated ear-An ear of corn.

n
A capital skylight-Thc moon.
A cultivated ear-An ear of corn.
Man is eighty per cent. water. That
ts why boil makes him hot.
Raining cats and dogs is surely no
+ worse than Mailing strangers.
A dentist refers to his collection of
extracted teeth as gum drops.
Before states were in use people multi
piled on the surface of the earth
The London Times is not in the soup.
1t is in an Irish stew Chicago Times.
Children cry for the moon, when they
grow up they want the earth. =. SJtings.
A boy who stole copper cent,
Is-as he should be-penny-tent.
-.Uerchdnt Trureler.
Scotland was once called Pictland, but
the land worth having was picked long
ago.-.Siftings.
There is man in Chicago who be-
comes red-headed whenever he is angry.
He is entirely bald -Ne,o York Tribune.
A man is rarely found who kicks when
his name is misspeled in the police court
reports. This is Il notable exception to
the rule.
81 believe the Albany boat leaves this
pier, does it notl" "Leaves it every
trip, ma'am. Never knew it to take the
dock up the river yet."-Jud0..
They have discovered chalk mount
ain in Montana, and We expect to see an
Immediate improvement in the complex
,ons of the ladies'. -Me,0 Yrk Me,os.
Oh, my love is like red, red rose
In the winter o. tho yCcr.
And that, rs every loYer knows,
is very. very dear.
Life.
Senior Surgeon" SLOWS that case of
heart trouble coming on9" Junior
Surgeon forgetting HIMSELF" al
settled, doctor; she accepted me this
morning."
Mrs. Tibbs-"Just think that dia-
mond that Mrs. Jibbs wears used to be-
long to hidcous idol in Japan" Mrs.
Snibbs-"Well, it hasn't improved its
setting much"
A young lady who aspired TO fame as
musician went one day to nubinstein for
advice. She played for him and then
asked: "What shall doc" ''Get mar
ried," was the reply.
Augustus Doody ito chambelmaid =
"Aw-aw-I'm tired of boarding-aw.
Pm looking for n fiat" Chambermaid-
Gan did ye have to lave home to find
want Ieras Sittiags.
Old Iady-'Little boy, what would
your father do if he should find you
smoking?" Little Boy-"He'd (puff)
prob'ly lick me; this is (pufD one o. his
cigars. "-Ne,o York Ledger.
Mr.. Gibbs (meeting his son late of
nighD-"Where are you going at this
time of night, John2 On no good
errand, Pll warrant" John sNo, sir;
1 was going to looS for you."- LITE.
"My writing isn't pretty, but it is
plain" apologized young woman whose
chirography had given the editor paresis
and general dilapidation. ayes, yes,n
she replied, ill-naturedly, SIT resembles
you"
A sunbeam so bright from the heavens did
stray
And got lost on the earth--so the story
books say.
The refuge it sought can arouse ITO surprise
For snugly it rests in q pretty girls eyes.
Merchant Trduele,..
''Sir," said she, 'do you expect me,
saleslady at the dry goods emporium, to
marry common clerk?" ~ am not a
common clerk" he answered; ~ am
a salesgent." She fell into his arms and
murmured, ~ am thine"
Alarmed Mother-"Why, nv dauch.
ter, weeping! What's the matter!n
Daughter bride of month)-sT-I
have been shopping, Or trying to-"
Alarmed Mother-"Wc Daughter
81 find my husband has always paid cash
and hasn't any credit anywhere"
Anxious Mother--''Why, nv dear.
in tears! What has happencdi" Mar,
ried Daughter got angry at
Arthur this morning and said lot Of
of mean things, and then he said a lot of
meaner ones, and and couldn't think
of anything mean enough to say back, /
couldn'tl'
Young Wife lin boarding house to
husband See, George, have washed
out couple of handkerchiefs this morn
Ing and saved ten cents laundry
George (enthusiastically)-"You are II
little treasure. l am going right OUT
now ana BUY an extra cigar. Economy
is wealth. "-St. Paul Pioneer Press.
Policeman-"Come, young woman,
you must not loiter here after the
audience has dispersed" Young Woman
--"Please, sir, I have business here"
"Policeman--"Well, what's itin Young
Woman (blushing)-T am the young
lady that's engaged to the automaton
chess player, and am waiting for him
to take me home. "-America.
mo thoroughly occupied man, says
Landon, was ever yet very miserable"
If Landon had ever removed tight
boot in church, he would have felt about
as miserable as they make 'em, while he
was thoroughly occupied, about ten
minutes before benediction, wondering
how he was ever going to get that boot
on again without Sitting it from preface
to finas. NorTisto,on Herald.