St. Paul daily globe., 1889-06-30
TALES OF THE TOWN.

A queer thing happened last Sunday
I'm one of the uptown churches. AT the
time of the occurrence it created the
widest CONSERVATION, though the good
people. who were then almost panic
stricken, now look back upon the scene
with a smile. AS Bills ma remarked
afterwards. t1T " it Twas all alone o. that
boy Bill" and she would 'never bring
him to church again, never" Bill
looked the picture of meekneSS and de-
yotional duty as he sat bolt upright in
one of the stiff-backed pewS, over the
back of which his small pate, brushed
toa degree of unwonted SmOothneSS, was
inst visible. AS the preacher got to
secondly. in his somewhat lengthy dis
course, Bill'S ma, overcome by the
weight of the ponderouS eloQuence,
after few preliminary mods dropped
quietly asleep in the pew corner. Bill
fried hard TO sit the service out, but it
was no go. His natural activity OF
character asserted itself and he drew
from the recesseS of his breecheS
pocket top-one of the new-fangled
machines which take half an hour to
wind up and as long to run down.
SLOW ly and carefully he wound the in
fernal machine to its utmost tension, re-
solved TO turn it loose as soon as he got
outside but, alas, his good intentions
went for naught, An inadvertent
touch looSened the spring and, with
noise like unto the rumble OF an ap-
preaching cyclone, that top began the re-
turn trip. The congregation started to
their feet with one accord-the good man
in the box paused with his hand In the
air and an expression OF blank surprise
y;
thus unceremoniOusly from her little
nap. gave vent to Shrek that would
have done credit to a Comanche Indian,
and Bill paused not upon the order OF
his going, but went.
Considering the expense incurred" :"
said one of the crack oarSmen of the
Sanity City in conversation on the
lack of interest in aquatic sport in this
locality, Its hardly to be wondered at
that many fellows who would thoroughly
eniov the sport refuse to go in for it.
The river about here is full of sub
merged StumpS, SnagS and brambleS.
A man who knows anything
about a shell boat is aware that to just
merely Craze it against one of these
instructions means to tear hole in it.
Now, the holes can be patched, of course,
but every hole made and every patch
put on detracts from the value of the
boat by offering increased resistance to
the water. A very few patches will
spoil boat for fast work. 1t is Oh ac-
count of the lumpinesS of the course
that so many paper boats are used here.
A paper boat will stand twice the grief
that a cedar one will, but give me the
cedar, just the same. Of course, the
class of boats we use cost good deal of
money, and it is the reverse of en-
couraging to have a new boat stove in
at the first spin"
This thing of speeding horses on Sum-
nit avenue and the streets in that
vicinity, has got to go. ITS elegant
sport. and that asphalte pavement
makes great track said one old sport
the other day, ''but when the thing is
simmered down to a case of right or
wrong, why wrong has the heaviest end.
Of course man might speed his horses
on the avenue fOr twenty years and do
no damage, yet L know for fact, that
there are many ladies who have been
constrained to fOrego their drives unless
accompanied by cOachman, whose
presence often SpoilS the charm, and re-
stricts conversation. L shall be one of
the principal sufferers by the new edict
because have been one of most,en-
thusiastic speeders, butt believe in let
ting the dear girls who have a family
horse, and want to drive him them
selves, do so without danger of being
run down by the individual who wants
to make race track of a boulevard.