Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-11-16
PITH AND POINT.

PElsPIRAT1oN never rains bat Il
pores.
VoLT1xa into the unknown-Death
by electricity.
A SYNDICATE of cattlemen has per.
feet right to water its stock.
IRIS odd how much food horse can
go without and still be no faster.
The waiter girl is different from .
poet. She is not born; she is maid to
order.
The fy-wheel is the anarchist of me-
chanlcs. 1t Is always engaged in revo.
lutions.
CHICAGO has gigantic leather trust.
The increasing size of the women's
shoes render it necessary.
WHY don't they select sailors as base
ball umpires? A tar ought to be .
good judge how thing is pitched.
WHEN married woman goes out to
look after her rights her husband is
usually left at home with his wrongs.
AWEsTERN jeweler, whose store was
attached by Buffalo On. " creditor,
posted his notice on the door, "Closed
to meet Buffalo Bill"
QUEEN of Spain-Good gracious!
The baby king has the stomach-ache.
Lord Chamberlain (excitedly) = Call
the Secretary of the Interior!
OMAHA TEACHER-I would like some
one of the class to define the meaning
of vice versa. Bright boy-It's sleep
ing with your feet towards the head Of
the bed.
THEY sat within the parlor dim
And fretfully she laid to him.
Il wish, dear John. that you'd behave
II not, l wish that you would shave"
Boston Courier.
LITTLE Ethel less than three years
old, saw man walking along the street
with his arm in sling ooh, mamma"
she cried, "there goes a man with his
arm in hammock
STRANGER-Td like ter git Job at
something, but I'm a stranger here an
amt got no references. Merchant-In
that case there is no chance for you
anywhere, except on the police force.
THIS is world of vicissitudes. To-
day man is pressing his suit for
wife; tomorrow tailor is pressing his
suit for his wedding, and the next day
a lawyer is pressing his suit for di
vorce.
MAMMA" said the little daughter of
frequently @tired" merchant, you
know the story in our reader about the
king who never smiled again" Eyes,
yes, dear" "Well, does that mean that
he signed the pledge?"
RETURNED Traveller have often
thought of that young Mr.. Tease, and
how he used to torment Miss Auburn
about her red hair. Did she ever get
even with him? Old friend-Long
ago. She married him.
Nov, which of the great men in the
past would you rather be, Roberto"
asked the teacher, after long and in
teresting talk ON the celebrities of his
tory. None of EN-" replied Robert,
promptly. "None of them! Why not?"
"'Cause they're all dead"
A GIRL who has got tired of single
blessedness wrote to her intended as
follows: "Dear Jim; cum rite off If
you are cummin' at al Ed Hilton is :,
insistin' that I shell hev him, and he
hugs and kisses me so much that
can't hold out much longer"
GoRGIE's uncle-Now, George, you
know cannibals are people who live off
each other. Georgie-"Your'e canni-
bal, amt you, uncle?" why no,
George! Why do you ask?" well,
papa said to me last night that you'd
been living off your relations for years.
A FRAGMENT.
Dear Kate: By this mail advance
TO you the remnant of my pants.
There's just the waist-band and one leg
Which you'll accept with love, beg.
1t may be when you find the rest
They'll make your brother Tim a vest.
The shreds send are very slight.
Your pas dog got the rest last night
.-Omaha World.
HIS chances improving: "Do you
love me, dear?" asked Cholly softly.
well, Cholly," said Molly, ito tell
you the truth, I am not quite sure; but
I think perhaps 1 could love you
enough to be your wife if you could
only manage to get your salary raised.
BALD-HEADED and very homely old
gentleman Ito photograper)-Drat such
pictures! Can't you make me look any
better than that after five sittings?
Photographer thoroughly exasperateD
I think can, sir, if you will allow
me to take the back of your head. 1t
hasn't so much expression as the other
side, but it's blamed sight prettier.