Daily Republican., 1889-06-14
TlIL LIIis-iNILN CLUB.


de Right Hon. Blackberry Davis, OF
Charlotte, North Caroliny, ar wild us TO
night" e9id Brother Gardner as the
meeting opened in due and ancient form,
"Dc Hon! Davis ar known to moas' OF
you as de Inventor OF root beer, an de
man who iust found out dat dog
sIeepin' under the bed made II Unhealthy
fur dc puesOus above. He ar ON his
way 10 dc NOri Pole, an has stopped of
yerc fur n day OF 80 to visit dis club an
deliber his address. DE address which
he will favor us wild tonight ar named
DE Laws OF Health, an ! trust dat he
Will receive your undivided attenshup
while he speaks. He viii now he brung
in an interduced.
HE WAS BRUNG.
And he attracted much attention as he
passed up the aisle TO the platform. lie
S cmed to have been Intended for man
seven feet high, but had ,omehow got
sawed of at about five. His left shoulder
was Topped pretty badly, his head had
Jailed to grow a crop OF hair, and his
right leg fingered behind as his left went
forward. Waydown Bebee couldn't zee
anything literary about the man. He
l9oked more like some unsuCcc Sui eau
didat. for the Presidency.
lie BEGINS.
The honorable didn't waste much time
III getting down to business. He luycs.i-
ga ed the contents OF the pitcher OF but
termilk placed before him with sigh OF
satisfaction, wiped of his mouth from
north to south aud back again, and IN a
voice resonant OF cow-bells and liberty,
hc said:
My frens, what is healthl doan'
'spuse one single pusson in dis hall has
eber gibGn de least thought Of dat ques
hun. Dai' ar two sorts OF health-good
an bad. Agitation. Some of us hev
one sort an some dc oIder. AS rule,
man ar bon In good health. Natur'
starts him out all right, an II anything
happens 10 gin MIN d. billyous colick It's
mis- own fault. Suppressed groans.
Dar' ar sarlin laws TO govern soeigty,
sich as MT stealth anybody's chickens
-ktepin' away from oddcr people +
wood -piles-gwine right by smoked
ham which de butcher has kuerlessiy left
| langin' out d5aAs oher night. Sens d.
tion on the back Seats. If you obey
dose laws you needn't be sl1aert an
jump under de bed when policeman
knocks on de dolh. II you doau' obey
'em you must suffer tie quenseconses.
'My freuE," continued the orator, after
| looking into tine pitcher again, "jar' an
sartiu laws regardil' health. Dey Is Ma
tur's laws. She holds us jist as accouuta-
BILE a3 dc police. Fur Instance, il PcScls
| Smith invites Samuel Shinoher to his
house Tor dinner what does Samuel doi
| He doan't eat nuilin lor two days befo'-
hand and when he sots wn 10 dat table,
gr ann wild all de luXur.es which
wealth kin purchase, he calkerlatcs on
H.4,gr 81 Ia In 1.Y1s. :
dey hev to draw him away from dc BILE.
| he has transgrcssed law Of natur'.
| NAtur' says Ne mus not oherC rowd our
stomachs (AgitAtion) Along aboat
midnight Samuel IS token wid awful
| pains, au'; three doctors bey hard work
to save his lie. (Faint cheers)
"Natur' says we need bout eight hours
sleep Giveadam Jones goes otter to see
| Elder TOots, an dey sot au' play check
ers till O'Clock In de mawnin'. Nex'
dry boat am limpln' around an growlin'
bout de weather, an cussin' dc rich.
| (Agitation.)
"Dey transgressed law Of natur' an
ar payin' de penalty; but In der igner-
ence dcy lay it to anythin' else. Shindig
| Watkins hires out iur II private watch
man at saw mill. Seven O'Clock comes
an he lays Lisseli away on a pile OF lum-
ber an sleeps till half past de mex
morpiu'. Den he gifts up an growls
about dis bein' billyus kentry, am
labor belu' crushed by capital, am goes
home TO tell de ole woman dat liberty
am sham an Il delusion, He trans
gr, ssed law of natur'-slcpt too long
| Clasps OF establishment,
"My dear frens," continued the orator
as lie gulped down the last of the butter
milk, "dar' am sartin pussons who re-
regard de human stomach Gs sort of
carpet bag furnished free gratis By Datur'
In dc co.'s of day dey Will throw in
whisky, beer, ginger ale, soda water,
coffee, ice water, meat, 'taters, sugar,
vinegar, apples, berries, vegetables az
whate5cr else comes handy.
"De stomach kicks, or orter, an de
owner is greatly surprised about it,.
| [Cheers. II ia only in de las flge Vars
dat de Guild people OF dis kentry hey
come to realize dat dey had noses an
lungs. [Sensation, Col. lluckleberry
jackson used to wonder why de smell of
burnln' feathers cooked him up, but
he sot it down as a monopoly of some
sort. He let his three dogs sleep under
his bed an went around guessin' dat
a rat had died under de house. Laugh
ter.
| DlI All sdLllu Laws VI AStlll W uIS II
ar arbitrary an ar broken at your
peril.
"Doau' go to sleep wild your feet stick
In up to night breeze to cool of.
"Dcan' sprinkle de sheets wild ice water
to cool of the bed.
"Doan' git yer ha'r clipped oil when de
wind is in de norf.
"Doau' let yer feet go from octoDsr to
June an den draw u hull tub OF cold
water an try to git irew wid lie job in
one evenin'.
III you hev bin chased by de police
until you persplre dean sit down on a
blr'l in de alley an let de breeze blow
ober you to cool you oil.
"You mus remember dat de air is full
of bacteria and microbes. Dar ar varus
sorts of EN-. An ole ca'pet on which
seben young chill'eL hey bin brung up,
along wild twice seben yaller dogs, Will