The Arkansaw traveler. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1882-1???, 1889-05-11

the next thing / knew / was In the presidents
private Office with my four sons. This seemed Q
have any. President Harrison placed his hand on
my eldest sons head, and said
"What IL this gifted youths manner"
Erred Grant Snort, !" replied.
"Has he ever done anything for the benefit of
the Republican partyG"
"NeverD
ais he the right man for first-clAss foreign
mission7"
"No good at all"
"Does he understand German2o
"Not n word"
"Then Pll make him minister to Austria, because
he IL the son of his fathern
What Is the name of this next boy2"
dob Lincoln Snort"
ais he well up in international law? Has he
read Vattel and Wheaton on international Compli-
cations7"
"I reckon not"
"Then he is not the right man to conduct the
negotiations we are likely TO have with Englandf"
81 should say not"
am determined that this administration shall be a
picnic for the sons of great men. And what Is the
name of this little boy7"
"Russell Harrison Snort. He Is the only smart
one in the lot"
"Do you think he would have sense enough to
edit a paper in Montana without Publishing
ibellous matter and having to take Ii al back and
apologize, besides?"
eyes" replied, 81 think my boy has too much
sense for that"
will let you have "Lige" Halford to boot, Is
exclaimed Harrison.
This struck me funny when | remembered
that had no sons, that burst out aughing-and
that woke me up. The minister had stopped
preaching and was looking at me Indignantly, as
did most of the congregation. The rest were
giggling. | was glad when church was over.
Afterwards at the dinner table related my dream.
Everybody, except Russ Harrison and Lige, said Ii
was very funny. They couldn't the point of 1t.
All, me, why haven't got some sons? | could
find nice soft places for dozen of them Well, it's
no use crying over split milk There Is water
enough 1t Ii already. It's too late now. am
always putting of things until 1t is too late.
| have just had talk with Russ about the
trouble with Col. Crosby, of Montana. | told
Russ" Retrsct nothing Out on the frontier the
editor who retracts Is doomed. Every little whelp
in the county will want to wipe his boots on him.
just go ahead and make it hot for Colonel Crosby,
and If he don't like it, send him 10 Colonel Snort
of Texas. AT all events make no personal apology"
sti6ened up Russ spirit so that think he will
stand off Colonel Crosby.
The president has quit walking out with Lige
Halford. told him yesterday that it was impair
ing his dignity Lge is tall and Harrison is small,
and to see the president stretching his legs out to
keep step with Lige creates laughter "Leave the
funny business to the humorous papers, Mr. Presi-
dent" said /.
another thing, Mr.. President added, don't
overdo the affabe business. Don't be everlastingly
walking out and bowling to the rabble, niggers and
all. II you begin to be condescending year
before the next presidential election that will be
plenty soon enough. Ride in your carriage and
look straight ahead of you, and don't anybody.
Familiarity breeds contempt"
He said he thought l was right. l also think
that convinced him that refusing to make Fred.
Douglass commissioner of deeds for the District of
Columbia will help me very much in breaking up
the solid south. Your friend, BILL SNORT.
= Texas Siftings