Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-30
PITH AND POINT.

Sound to the corps-A buglc call.
a poor relation Story badly told.
Lunberman's slang-Shutc that !ogl
A dentist refers to his collection of OK
tracted teeth as gum drops.
Twin brothers may be eccentric but
they are never odd.-Ierro Houte Ee-
press.
The college man, like the thermometer,
is known by his degrees. -Boston Tran
script.
Scrub oak ought TO be utilized in the
manufacture Of brushes and brooms.-
-Nc,o York Mcics.
Isn't it rather paradoxical for Il man to
he wrapped in silence for sound reasons.
Baltimore 4imerican.
Did you ever notice that the ''ice" is
only thrcc-lifths the size OF the ''pricc?"
-1crre Hautc E.rporS.
Auctionccr-"llow mulch for this
racket" Judge Guilty. (al,seni minded
"Tcn dollars or ten days"
"AIatchcss maid is the WAY in which
prcsrmptious young man addresses i
lady OF very uncertain age.
There wouldn't have been amy milk i'll
the cocoanut if some dairymen had had
the construction of it.-SJfingS.
Plenty of sleep is conducive to beauty
Even II garment looks worn when it loses
its nap Ringh0mion Rtpab'icGn.
'"Waiter, Il beef steals-but not IL small
one, Pm 81 terribly nervous that every
little thing upscts me. Fiicgende Bioet-
ter
Tcachcr-"What is an unknown guam
tity.' Coal Dealers Son-'What YOU
ret when you buy Il ton OF coal. .
Golden Days.
1t is one OF the paradoxes of life tina,
the more II wife keeps her husband III hot
water the colder he grows toward her.
Boston Couria.
Men think it's goodness of heart that
makes them generous ut times when III
reality it is only regularity of the liver
Merchant Irmceler.
it is probably from humane motives
that Il railroad will 10; allow It's trains to
stop along The way more than ten min.
utcs for refreshments.
N"NDNi WHOSE iilncr WIS circus
tumblcr, NOW goes about boasting that
lie is one Of the SONS Of revolutionary
sircs. i3oStoa Transcript.
Mrs. Oldgold-"Are You going 10 Der.
muda next winter" Mrs. Newlai,cggc--
''No, indeed. you know can't bear the
smci! of onions"-L1,rsN Citizen
"Ah, said the fly as it cr.wled around
the bottle, 81 have passed through the
Matching age, the crcepin. age, and now
am in the mncilagc-' then it stuck.
where are the teeth Oh which in youth
So proudly reliedl'
The sandwich has them. sir in sooth'
Tho lunch girl straight replied
-.lcrcaunt T.ureier.
Rejoice, o young mun, in the days of
hy youth, hut remember that, big us lie
IS, the whale does no: blow much until
he reaches the top I;y3r Hute Ee-
Press.
whats the matter" the schoolmis-
tress asked Backs sore, ma'am. .
"Whats made it sorc." 'Pop pounded
his thumb with hatchct This mornin
and laughed. "-Eooch.
A little girl ioyiully assured her mother
'"S "'hSt way tii'.. Silc li;Ht lOtinU Oui
where they make horses. She had seen Il
man finishing one. lie WAS mailing on
his last foot.-Nolc York Meas.
Aiudge-"For goodness sake, Dos.
worth, have you been sandbaggcd or in =
railway accident:" Neither.
hid under the bed The other night to
scare my wife. -C0ariY-,Jou1mai.
Baroncss-''Are you still angry with
me, my dear Major, for refusing your
offer Of marriage ut the las. carnival, All
nave to say is that have changed my
mind since then" Maior-'So have |. 9
Country and Ci:.:.-Miss sheafc-"Ah,
look ut that wheat rising AID falling yon.
tier in the breeze! How beautiful.' Mr.
Weetpit-' Ah, bnt YOU ought 10 see il
rising and falling III the Produce E:;.
change"
Hardware Deale--"Now. Mr. Rusti
Gus, there's what | call bargain. That
stove has Il quick oven and the draft !.
so arranged that it will save one-half tho
fuel" Miss II. (who is Il student OF
cconomies)-"La sakcs, pa, why not get
two and save all the 9"-Hayyey'.
Bd:0r.