The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-04-24
HUMOE OF THE DAY.

The baby has a rafting time.
On the safe side-The cashier.
A swell atIair-A builfrog chorus.
A bill sticker-A determined collect
or.
Is it the dog watch whose bark is on
the sea Life.
Even a small barber may be called
strappiug fellow.
A diamond is hardened enough not to
feel cheap, even though it is cut.
Has a finger in the pie-The butcher
who loses a digit in a mincing machine.
A certain railroad conductor is named
Judy. A sort of punchin' Judy as it
were.
When a man cries ''Hoe there!" is he
not trying to "cultivate" your acquaint-
Gel Statesman
Irish employer Ito clerk)-"Don't
know the mans address! Well, write
to him and find out!"
A Rochester girl has an admirer who
always brings her chewing gum. She
calls him her gumbeau.
The police have awful big revolvers.
One covered a striker with one a few
days ago.-Nslo Iors Ne'os.
The fraudulent old beau who dyes his
hair has no right to be writing to any
girl about his undying love.
There are a good many things besides
a locomotive that man will not throw
over his shoulder. oil City Blizzard.
"1'hat was a horrible cigar you gave.
me tnis morning, Jack" Eyes, knox
it was. That's why I gave it 10 youSs
A Vermont farmer claims to have's1 .
cattle that laugh. They are the laugh
ing stock of the neighborhood, - Teras
SJtings.
Guest from the wild West)-"Give
me tip.top ROOM" Hotel Clerk Ito
hall .boy)-"Take him up to the garrett"
-Judge.
A hawk may get the rooster after
breakfast, but before breakfast the
rooster always takes a crow. - Washing.
ton Critic.
Speaking of "the last words of famous
men," we haven't sufficient space at our
command to give Noah Webster's. .-NelO
York. Nel0s.
Hunter-''Wherei is Schmidt" Guide
-"Oh, he is off to the right. He has
been shooting all around a rabbit for the
last half hour. ."-Sytiags.
A New York museum is exhibiting an
"ossifed man." He will probably
be secured by some minstrel company to
impersonate Bones. Statesman.
Biones -'I'll bet you she accepts. "
Merritt-"i don't want to take your
money. She offered to bet me that she
would refuse you. ".-Ns,o York. Sun.
'Do you know why one of the latest
fashionable fads is called the Octave
Dinuern" "No." ''Because everything
is ate up, you blockhead." ." - Boston
gazette.
An Anarchist once said to me,
The reason l can never see,
If a bomb in a crowd one should throw,
Why he should be strung up, you know
But we said: If you bombs throw, we be-
The hang OF it then you viii get
When a man dies a natural death it is
well enough to call the corpse the Gre
mains, - but if he has been assisted hence
by u discharge of nitro glycerine the
word remnants" seems TO fit the case
better.
"AIinnie has been TO see me to- day. >
said little fye.year-old, "aud she be-
hayed like lady," And l hope you
did too, said her mother ayes, in
deed ] did 1 turned somersets for her
ON the bed
Judge-"Prisonor at the bar, have
YOU anything to say why sentence of
death should not be passed upon YOU"
l'risoner-"Nes, sir. am a member of
the Society ior the Abolition Of Capital
Punishment
A New Vintage. old Soaker at the
club, dreamily)-"l say, waiter; that's
the best wine I've had for ages Bring
another bottle Waiter-"Nou have
had no wine, sir. What YOU drank was
the Worcestershire sauce. "-Ae,0 R0sk
Ni05.
Mrs O. Il. Jolly-'I invited twenty
people to the party aud twenty have
comel have refreshments for only
fifteen. What shall ! do!n Mr.. o. b.
Jolly after a moments thoughD-'I
have it, let Maria sing for them lust
before supper"