Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-21

loot rule, or retort, ana measure, N4'Iu0'
or analyze, not only the wonders
of the world, but with one exeep-
ton, everything else. The one e1ception'
as everyone will readily believe, is love.
What is it? What is the cause OF 1t? 10
the first question no answer can be given;
to the second. 1 can only answer from my
own experience-a broken leg.
No! romantic reader, the writer OF this is
no lovely lady, who, while driving pair OF
spirited bav horses, was in terrible danger
by the running away of the aforementioned
animals and was rescued by noble stran-
ger. Nor is the writer noble stranger who
was assisted when in extremity by the
daughter Of a hundred earls. No, I am plain
William Spence, merchant, Glasgow, aged
so, and broke nv leg one day last April
by slipping upon piece of orange peel In
GORDON street.
1t is popularity supposed that every young
man falls in love as regularly as every enllo
takes measles. Both suppositions are Incor-
rect. 1 did not fall in love till was 90, and
never had measles.
We read a great deal about the joys OF
convalescence. 1 can see nothing. JOYFUL IN
being shut up for six weeks In dull mouse
in Bath street, with old Mrs. McGregor to
visitor. For the first three weeks things
were lust bearable, but after that was per
fectlv miserable At last l could stand 1t
no longer and said to the doctor one day
as he was leaving. "You might have pity on
me and stay awhile" He laughed and sat
down. We talked away for little, ana
vas lust getting CHEEKY when message
came for MIN, and he had to go. AS he went
he said:
"Gaye YOU no friends or relatives who
could come and sit with you?
"No," said; 81 haven't a relative or
friend in the world.
'sWeiI." and he laughed, "why don't you
get married?
Then he went away, leaving me face to
face with a perfectly new idea. Now, am
mot one of those men who run about after
every new thing. 1 am very cautious In
what notions L take up.
whv did 1 not get married? Well, L
could hardly saw. Perhaps it was because
l had never had time to think Of such
thing. As L lay there all that day 1 gravely
considered the question; all the savings for
and against such step passed to and lro
before nv mind. "A young man married
is Young man marred," have heard say:
Well, perhaps, could scarcely call myself
Young. "He that marryeth doeth well, but
he that marryeth not doeth better, says 81.
Paul: but. on the other hand, sit is not good
for man 10 live alone and so L went on.
But at last resolved that L would marry
but whom? That was the question. Be
Ijeve me, l did not know a single LADY.
went nowhere, except to church, and, as
neither could sing, play, recite, nor turn
music did not frequent any OF the semi
religious tea festivals that are SO important
a branch of church-going nowadays.
How could 1, an unmarried man, become
married? / might of course, speak to the
minister, he would surely know some likely
lady; some one, perhaps about the church.
But then 1 remembered dreadful old maid
who sat in the same pew as L did, and who
had more than once handed me books in an
oficious manner. The minister might think
her suitable No, things must be managed
in different way. When the doctor came
next time he said A:
f'Well, Mr. Spence, have you been think
ing of getting married?'
Swhy don't you get married if you think
it such good thing ?' asked.
Instead of laughing as l thought he
would, he actually looked quite melancholy
as he replied: Il only wish could. I'd
do il tomorrow if had the money"
care you in earnest?" l asked.
"Only too much so. 1t makes me feel
worse, too, to see men like you who might
marry and don't"
"I suppose"-and hesitated-eyou-you
--have no idea of any particular person; you
are only talking generally"
"I wish 1 were,' he said, chats the hard
part of it. Why she is the dearest, sweetest
girl in the world, and I-but what's the
good of talking to you about love; you can't
understand the feeling. Let me feel your
pulse"
Il r
but I was determined that before long I
would know ali about it. 1 would fall in
love without delay. This brought me to the
old difficulty, with whom?
By this time was we'll enough to move
about with the help of a crutch, and was
ready, so to speak, for action.
A few days passed and nothing happened.
Just when 1 was desperately thinking of
putting my case into the hands of a matri-
monial agent, Mrs. McGregor came in, and,
throwing down a pink book, said in her
sourest accents: "Rere's a young woman
collecting for the Day Nurseries. Yell no
be gaun to gle onything? She says she'll
ca the morn for yer answer"
providence is kind, said to myself;
to Mrs. McGregor I only grunted. One
thing was certain, would see the lady
when she came, and who could tell that she
might not be my future wife.
All afternoon l studied that page of the
report which said "Mlss Mary Duncan will
call tomorrow"
Next day when Mrs. McGregor brought
in my dinner she said, ''I'll tell the young
woman ye dinna approve O. the nursery
affair"
"You will do nothing of the kind, % 1 said,
with severity. "You will kindly show her
in here. wish to see her myself before 1
decide about giving"
What a CAV deceiver was becoming.
81 thocht," and Mrs. McGregor was terri
bic as she said it, 81 thocht ye didna ap-
prove O. subscriptions, and mair particularly
for weans."
To this 1 returned no answer, and she
withdrew.
Soon after this the doctor called, said 1 was
feverish, and ordered me a soothing powder
considered this nothing but an insult to a
man on the point of falling in love, a man
who, even at that moment, was listening
eagerly for the sound of the bell.
At last the bell rang, and, before could
do more than tremble, in came the prettiest
girl / had ever seen.
''You will excuse me-" stammered, 81
cannot walk about much yet"
81 am sorry you have been i'll, said the
sweetest voice in the world.
''Sit down, please, gasped.
She did SO, and then I said, You are col
lecting for the day nursery, 1 believe"
had made up my mind that would appear
not to approve Of it, and then she would ex-
plain things
"a most deserving object, Mr.. Spence"
Mr.. Spence sounded from her lips like
line of poetry.
81 don't approve of it," said 1, in my