The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1889-06-21
HONEST CARL OUNDER.

some Things Which the Old Gentleman
Does Not Understand.
When der Americans get so madt at
King Sheorge dot dey can't shtand ii
no longer eaferypOdy goes py Boston
harbor und throws some tea oaferpOard
more ash four hOOnered shests. Dot
tea vhas all wasted in der water, but
der principle vhas shust der same if
der peoples take it home und drink it.
can't understand Why dey don't.
Washington goes across der Della
ware River py a skiff. 1t vhas coldt,
dark night, und more ice vhas around
dan you can put in feefty refrigertors.
If vhas Washington / wait until some
Shteamboat come along, or sOmepOdy
builds a bridge. / doan' take all dose
STANCES mitout any accident insurance
on my pody.
Washington goes into camp at Val
ley Forge for der winter, und she vhas
so cold dot eaferyeody suffers like he
vhas in Chicago IdOn't quite see how
1t vhas. If | vhas a patriot und fight
ING fos ny country go into camp in a
brick house heated by steam, und | hat
fried oysters und shicien pOt-pie eafery
day of my life. 1t looks to me us if Shen-
eral Washington makes big mistake
aboudt dot. 1t vhas no good to freeze
to death for your country. Dot dOan'
lick der British.
Veen Sheneral Washington gets dot
Lord CORVALLIS in a box at Yorktown
he vhalks OOp und down NIT great dig.
nifty und doan' gif even one yell. If
dot vhas me | gif some whoops und
wells und screams shump oop und
down. paint dot place SO red ash
meier vhas. vealk oop to dot Corn
wallis und | say:
How you like it so far ash you
went, hey! Maybe now you like to go
home und behave herself! | hat got
some bulge on you, und now you Pc
have himself or make it purity hot!"
Dat Paul Shones vhas good fighter,
cut can't quite make oudt about him.
If he goes into a fight nit a bigger
ship und gets licked he dOan' tell no.
pody, He shust keeps fighting right
along, und he tells der men eaferytings
vhas all o. X, und by und by dot big
ship pulls down her flag und says she
vhas sOseek she can't fight no more.
Den Mr.. 'ShOnes goes aboard und says
ne vhas boss, und dot vhas fone more
victory. doan' fight dat vhay. If
WAS licked dot settles it, und boiler
ondt dot gif oop. If der odder man
vhas de biggest doan' fight at all.
Dot Commodore Perry vhas queer
man. He likes to fight so vhell dot he
shtays cop all night He goes down
by Put-in-Bay und picks fuss. He
doan' hat to. but dot vhas his vhay.
If vhas going to hat fight I should
put oudt my arms und shpeak:
Hey, boys. knock der stuffing out OF
der middle of last week, or cut your
wages down one-half"
Dot Perry goes aboudt like a lamb.
und he shmiles a leedle shmile, und nj!
he says vhas:
Boys, | like you to whoop 'er oor
for me-
IND dose boys vhas whoop, ind der
eagle vhas let loose, und der bell Of
LIBERTY rings out dot we vhas on top
der whole crowd. Detroit Free Press
MISS Beacon Hill. I'll can not
marry you, Mr.. Brighton. Our fami-
,les are not sufficiently equal. Mine
we're among the first settlers in Ameri-
Cd Mr. Brighton-ssNo one has bet
,1r reason to appreciate that fact than
nave Miss Beacon Hill. One of nv
s Sa was the English sheriff who
sinp !, your family's embarka,
''on' Chicago journal.
me late Mary L. Booth, as cele-
~ a'eo a translator as she was, could
N.Y. speak word of French or Ger.