davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

THE example of sectarian dispute ending
in fight which threatens to become fatal,
illustrates how little of the religious quail
ties of charity, peace,and good will there is
in the bigotry of such quarrels. On the
other hand there is sort of grimly farcical
element mixed with the tragedy, when we
read that one of the participants carried
on the dispute by reviling the "Micks, +"
while his own name bears the prefix, from
which that very vulgar piece of slang is
corru nted
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

THE suggestion that the retention Of the
present Postmaster, in the absence of
charges against him, till his terminus out,
would be more in the line of the civil pro-
fessions at Chicago than removing him,
seems to have struck in good many quar-
ters simultaneously. Neither the President
nor the Cabinet officers can desire to i'm
mediately adjudicate upon rivalry ia.
patronage between Senator Quay and Con-
gresham Dalzell. They may prefer to let
Larkin stand till his commission expires.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
Stitching Glory.

From the London Court Journal
A Midland county general, on his return from
Egypt, showed his family regimental flag all
tattered and torn and riddled with bullets.
which he had captured from the enemy with
his own hands. 1t now looks nearly as good as
new. The careful housekeeper sat up all night
and mended it.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

The report that General Lew Wallace
will return to Constantinople will be well
coined with joy by the Sultan. 1t is cur
rently believed that the Commander of the
Faithful has almost forgotten the art of
painting StambOul red, since the exigencies
of American politics bereft him of the
author of "The Fair God"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

WHITELAw REID was confirmed yester-
day The discrimination between his case
and that of Eugene Schuyler expresses the
Senate's platform that pitching into Grant
in 1872 don't count-if the aspirant has
made himself solid with the Senators during
the interim.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
Favors the Amendment.

The Auditor General is in favor of the
amendment proposed by Hon. J. NJ. DicEcy,
Of the Franklin Natural Gas Company, to the
general revenue bill. This amendment is to
meet, the case of companies that pay per-
centage of their gross receipts to other gas
companies for their supply of gas. Each COM
pany of course, is expected to pay the eight
mill tax on its gross receipts. and under
the bill as it stands, the money
paid by the consumer, or part of it, would be
taxed double or 16 mills. The Auditor Gen.
eral is decidedly opposed to DR.. Neff s amend
ment, made to the bill in the House, which
provides that man shall receive credit on the
books of the assessor for money owed by him
in taking account of the money he has at in
terest,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
AM Innovation in the Theater.

Special TeleRram 70 The DlsDatch.
NEW YORK, March pa reading room has
been fitted up under the stage of the Academy
OF Music for the use of scene shifters and stage
hands who are employed for the presentation
of "The Old Homestead" The work of hand.
ling the stage has been reduced to a minimum,
So that employees will have lots of time to avail
themselves of the advantages of the room,
which is to be supplied with books as well as
newspapers and magazines.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
Great Men welcomed to America.

Special Telegram to The Dispatch.
NEW YORK, March 2S.-Herr v on Bulow, the
great musician, was among the passengers on
the Saale, which brought back the baseballist
John M. Ward TO his native land, this morn
ing. A crowd of musicians welcomed him Just
as crowd of baseball players and lovers of the
national game Welcomed Ward.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
ChicagO's Only Chance.

From the Albany Journal
A man engaged in the great freight frauds
at Chicago died of shame. Chicago will miss
her chance if that man does not get monu-
manf
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
TERMS OF THE DISPATCH.

Voluntary contributors should Keep copies Of
articles II compensation is desired the price
erpected must be named. The courtesy of re-
turning rejected manuscripts tciU be extended
tChea stamps for that purpose are enclosed. but
the Editor Of THE DISPATCH tUfu under no
circumstances be responsible for the care Of ttrl-
solicited manuscripts.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

AN English paper trust is announced.
This looks like an attack on the other
trusts. 1t attempts to levy an increased
burden on their favorite scheme of produc-
ing capital by means of the printing press.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
Anew York BURGLAR In Pickle.

From the Detroit Free Press.1
A New York burglar got into genuine pickle
the other day. Officers discovered that some
one was feloniously at work in a butcher shop,
but after they had entered could not find the
man until they looked in pork barrel, where
they discovered him up to his neck in brine.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

PITTsBURG might have made the West
Virginia railroad boom extend her tributary
fields, if the South Pennsylvania project had
been kept alive to fulfil the obligations of
it's nharter
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
There's No Foundation for II.

From the Albany Journal.l
1t is confidently asserted, but probably un-
true, that the "An-Americas' batted a ball
into the London fog SO hard that it stuck fast
and did not fall until the fog lifted.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

BIsMARCK's reproOf of Consul Knappe,
and disavowal of his aggressive acts, is as
conciliatory as this country can wish. We
shall not have to fight Germany this round.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
Mrs. Lofty's Enigmatic Talk.

met Mrs. Lofty yesterday. She is the
widow of the ex-senator, you remember, a rich
woman. miraculously stylish, who elects to
make Washington her home. Her converse
tion-when she finds it to her good pleasure to
address few words to groveling humanity at
large - is occasionally condescending, but
oftener rightly disdainful. was recently the
honored recipient of few of her periods. She
said that what was most particularly observa-
BILE in men who came from New England and
the West was their entire lack of pistache.
Money they might have. and even local esteem;
but once they struck Washington their fatal
deficiency in pistache branded them unmistak-
ably; and irretrievably. so to speak, cooked
their goose. I tioundered, during the entire
conversation, in morass of wonderment con-
cerning the purport of her speech; but finally,
by an ingenious scheme of reasoning by
analogy made the triumphant discovery that
when Mrs. Lofty said ''pistache" she meant
''preStipe."
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
Wouldn't be BIuffed.

During the debate on the liquor license mat
ters on Friday, Representative Fow, of Phila-
delphia, referring to the Brooks high license
bill, called it ''the Vail bill introduced by the
gentleman from Philadelphia" Mr.. Vail is
the Law and Order officer of Philadelphia, and
Mr.. Brooks replied that Mr.. Vail knew good
thing when he saw it. SIMPSON.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
New Work for Wamen.

hear Of a new ayocation for women. To
pursue it successfully the woman must be ex-
ceedingly bright. intellectually speaking, and
she must be located in Washington. She is
conversation instructress. Her title fully ex-
plains her business. The neophyte to fashions
faith, newly arrived in Washington, feels
anxious to know what to say to the distin-
guished personages in whose company she is
soon to be known. Even more important is it
that she should be informed what not to say.
Washington's list of "things which had been
better left unsaid" exceeds in length the no.
table one possessed by Dumaurier, and it is re-
ceiving extensive additions every blessed day.
Two well-known elderly ladies of great wealth
who receive +" magnihcently are re-
spectively dubbed Mrs. Malaprop, Number
One, Number Two. A fresh bon mot from
either, given off with the delicious irresponsi si-
bility of ignorance is enough to amuse W ash
ington for week, and circulates everywhere
the jokiest clerk at his desk in a department
Some of these linguistic Interpretations are
SO astonishing that one finds them difficult to
understand. For instance one of the Mistress
Malaprops has been saying that while cutting
off meat from her dietary during Lent she eats
a great many ''ruffles." She Just dotes on
~ruff1es;" she has eaten as many as dozen
'ruf1es' for breakfast Visions of masticated
dress trimmings or old-fashioned shirt fronts
float indistinctlY before the hearers hazy
minds eye; nor can he for the life of him un-
derstand the process of eating ruffies. Oh!
you say, the poor woman meant truffies No.
the poor woman did not; she meant wafdes,
those small, thin cakes baked on Goals in an
iron utensil.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
WHAT WIND WON'T DO.

Farmers have halcyon future before
them, if the Christian Metaphysician is to
be believed. Our staid cotemporary states
that Kansas farmer planted three hundred
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
PITTsBURG. SUNDAY, MAR. d 1859.
To First of April Movers.

Persons changing their residence at the first
of April or before, can have THE DISPATCH
delivered at their new addresses by ordering
through postal card, telephone or in person at
the Fifth avenue office.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
CAUGHT ON THE GRIP LINE.

SHE gave me kiss it was the first,
And my heart it leaped with Joy,
For then knew that mad won,
maiden sweet and coy.
She said: "I love you very much,''
And my heart took another leap,
But just then l awakened, and found I'd
dreamed;
This whole thing while asleep.
TOMMY WANAMAKER = Mamma, now that
papa owns the postofice, can send our letters
for nothing. Won't have to stamp any of them.
Mamma-Oh, that Will be lovely.
T.W.-And mamma, guess when papa stays out
late at night with his Sunday-school class, 1t
won't even be necessary for you to stamp your
foot the next morning, when you go for him
JOHN, See (a) New tman) is to be Consul
General at London.
VANDY-I see some enterprising firm are
giving picture and a bottle OF cachous with
every box OF cigarettes.
Zandy-Now let them add good cigar and there
will be some temptation to buy.
WHAT does it profteth man if he pay IS to
have his application for license fled, and then
be dropped in the soup.
ARBY-I understand Stagg, Yale's crack
pitcher, is to be minister
Goat-Well he should make dandy, for he has
two great requisites.
Arby-knd what they?
Goat-Hc has good delivery and makes few
errors.
MARCH comes in like lion, and goes out
like lamb
But this year, twill be the reverse
Now don't contradict me, I've got to hll ups
And all can think offs this verse. CSC.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

Easy to Judge His Occupation.
From the NorristoWn Herald
A Baltimore man asks: what will keen me
from going to sleep?" Why doesn't he resign
from the police force?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
sho win NJ, ho Forao,,.n

From the Minneapolis Tribune.]
Statistics show that an American family is
in size Alb. This 1900 is, we suppose, tho hus-
bands wife's mother
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
Matinees are MournfnI-A Peculiar Bear
InvOlnntnry NIirrors-A Plea for March.

Matinees are Mournfnl-A Peculiar Bear
Involuntary Mlrrors-A Plea for March.
1T is no wonder to me that the average the
atrical star detests playing at matinees. In the
abstract it ought to be pleasanter to play be-
fore an audience made up of women, sweet,
sympathetic beings, with souls cleaner and
hearts warmer than men can boast. But it
isn't.
Take yesterday afternoon, at the Bijou Thea
ter, for instance. Parquetinhabi by women,
with not more than score of men for leaven-
ing; first gallery filed with women altogether,
as far as could see; sprinkling of men and
boys in the upper gallery Not full-ground
round of applause in the house.
The women, bless their hearts, were warmly
enough disposed towards the 'honest Emma
she is very popular with her own sex, as she
deserves to be, for better woman than Emma
Abbott does not live-but with their tightly
gloved hands how could they raise even a tea
pot storm of clapping? They had to look after
their dresses. their hats and bonnets, and while
very likely they often wished for an encore
they never tried to get one. For gloves would
burst and bonnets go awry, YOU know. If they
allowed their feelings such expression.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
A VERSATILE ACTRESS.


VERSATILE ACTRESS.
Sweet spring, thou art tickle jade.
We know it to our sorrow
To-day thou art a dancing maid,
tragic queen tomorrow.
But we're content to see thee play,
Fair Natures youngest hummer;
Perhaps we'll weep when you're away
And we perspire in summer
IT was last Sunday
She was returning from church. The service
] had concluded with the hymn in which is con-
stantly iterated the line:
"The consecrated cross bear"
Beside her walked her daughter, little girl
| of say summers, who had seemed buried in
thought from the time the last hymn had been
sung. Presently the child looked up with q
troubled expression in her eyes, and said:
Mamma will that cross-eyed bear we sung
about eat up good little girls?'
So
THE above story, which is strictly true, illus
trates the fact that ought to receive more at
tention than 1t does, namely, that hymns and re-
| ligious exercises intended for children cannot
be put into too simple and common English.
For that matter, to my mind, the most beauti-
ful hymns and the most beautiful prayers are
those which convey good thoughts in the clear
est and least pretentious language.
- ~
SEVERAL men and women I have known
have had the curious habit of initiating un-
consciously person at whom they are looking.
Thus. the other night at the Opera House,
noticed that every movement and facial con-
tortion of Mr.. Florence's face were reflected in
the countenance of a lady in the audience. She
was not conscious of the involuntary mirror
like motion of her features, but happen TO
know that she is aware she possesses the habit.
Talking of this matter yesterday, another
young woman confessed to me that she often
found herself initiating the manner of speech
of person with whom she was in conversa-
tion, and entirely against her WILL for she had
several times been reminded forcibly that the
habit might be considered rudeness unpardon.
able.
How would you account for this.
50
THIS same habit recently caused intense an
noyance to still another young woman Of my
acquaintance. She went to a lecture, which
was delivered by very learned man, who had,
however, an exaggerated trick Of raising his
eyebrows until they obtained seclusion in the
scant fringe of hair above his forehead. Hard
ly had the lecture commenced until my fair
friends eyebrows began trying their best to
copy the maneuver of the lecturers. The
effort was not very successful, but she said,
my eyebrows were aching like anything when
that lecture was overT'
s.R
A PLEA FOR MARCH.
You may tell me that March is a rare month to
sob in;
That dust and damp weather are mixed In its
days;
But still it has merits so sings the brave robin,
And all Of his friends, in ravlshing lays.
So still let us sing:
Life love and laughter
No matter what's after
Awake in the springl
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

WHEAT prospects are excellent, but the
Chicago manipulators keep right on screw
ing up the price of the staff of life.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
Wants Good Fishing.

Speaker Boyer is an authority on hunting
and fishing, and talks learnedy, at times. to in
terested groups concerning the various kinds
of game fishes of American and Canadian
waters, Of rods, lines, flies and the various de-
vices well known and dear to the anglers
heart. He says the Fish Commission is doing
good work and is in favor of their recommen-
dations of fish ways for dams. and of their
work in general for the distribution and propa-
cation Of the anny tribe.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

JOHN, See (a) New tman) is to be Consul
General at London.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

VANDY-I see some enterprising firm are
giving picture and bottle Of cachous with
every box of cigarettes.
Zandy-Now let them add good cigar and there
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
A Good Measure.
A Long Way to Church.

A great many members of the Legislature go
to Philadelphia each Friday afternoon or Sat
urday morning for the purpose of being able to
attend church there each Sunday. Harrisburg
consequently is a quiet place on the Sabbath
day.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

WHAT does it profiteth a man if he pay IS to
have his application for license fled, and then
be dropped in the soup.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
CORRIDOR GOSSIP.

strnight-Out yoter-A Man Who Tells
Good story-somethIng About Oleo-
margarine and Butter-A Double Taxa
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
How would you account for this.
A PLEA FOR MARCH

sob in;
That dust and damp weather are mixed in its
days;
But still it has merits, so sings the brave robin,
And all Of his friends, in ravlshing lays.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24
The Bos. Story Teller.
They Haven't Caught Up.

1t takes some people of Pennsylvania long
time to learn about change of officials at the
State capital. The Department of Internal
Affairs frequently receives letters addressed
to j. Simpson Africa, and letters to Aaron
Dunkel come often. Most curious, though, is
the fact that within year and half two let
ters have been received addressed to Daniel
Brodhead, who was Surveyor General of Penn
sYlYania almost 100 years ago.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-24

So still let us sing:
Life, love and laughter
No matter what's after
Awake in the springl
Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-02-28

CoLTHARP and Brown, placer min
ing ON Snake River, near Salmon
Falls, Idaho, unearthed complete
skeleton of mastodon. It was buried
about twenty-five feet under ground.
The place had at one time evidently
been whirlpool or eddy of the river.
Many large bones have been found
there, but this last discovery was q
perfect skeleton, it having without
doubt been deposited there while the
hide was yet intact. 1t was about six.
teen feet long, and it is estimated that
the pile of bones would weigh 5000
pounds or more. The tusks were be
tween six and seven feet long. The
tusks and some of the huge molars and
other bones were preserved, but it was
impossible to save the skeleton entire
as soon after it was exposed it began
to crumble.
Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-02-28
Bright Crows.

Whether animals have souls or not
is hard to determine, but that they
have minds no one nowadays doubts.
We read the other day of two crows
which put this and that together in a
way that would do credit to human
reasoning powers. The scene was in
India. A rough terrier, when given a
bone, was sent to eat it on the gravel
driveway in front of the bungalow.
The crows had often sought to snatch
the meat from the dog, but had always
been defeated. Finally, they appeared
to discuss the matter in neighboring
tree, after W hich one of them few down
and pecked at the dogs tail, and when
he was attending to this matter the
other crow came and seized the bone.
This is matched by story in the st.
Nicholas of shepherd dog whose duty
every night was to bring herd OF
nearly dozen COWS safely home from
pasture. One night, after the cows
were within the barnyard, the dog
stood on his hind feet and peered anx-
liously within the rails. Then he start
ed off on q run and brought home Q
peryerse loiterer. Certainly this looks
as il that dog knew how to 1couns
noses. Egcha7sge.
~
Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-02-28

A GRANITE figure of Captain Miles
Standish is to be erected on the old
Standish farm at Duxbury, Mass. The
monument will be fifteen feet high,
and will represent Standish in the full
military dress of the colonial period.
The original homestead was de-
stroyed by fire in 1866, but an
other house was erected by bis
son in 1867, near the spot. The
land was given to him by the colony
in 1880, and always remained in the
family until the middle of the last CEN
fury. The hill where the monument
will stand is 1870 feet high, and COM
mands fine view of Plymouth and
Duxbury harbors, and is land mark
to navigators entering Massachusetts
Bay. It is estimated that the monu'
ment will cost $4,000.
Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-02-28

to retire before two or three o'clock in the
morning. He is generally in his Office by
half past nine in the morning, and for an
hour is kept busy receiving members of
congress and their constituents. A very
large majority of the American people
have not the least idea how much of a task
their chief executive has, but fancy that
the position is very nearly sinecure, If
not continual round of pleasure. It is
but just to Mr.. Cleveland to say that he
has been one of the most industrious pres
idents the country has ever had, and while
the necessity he has found for working SO
says, to awkwardness, and perhaps also to
a want of the highest executive ability, he
has shown conscientious devotion to the
duties of his office.
Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-02-28

THERE is deed on record in the
Clerks Office at Gainesville, Ga, which
conveys to the purchaser all the land
south of the grantor's door. The grant
or or maker lived near Clarke's Greek
Church, and the deed covers all the
surface of the earth south of that
point. If the heirs of the purchaser
could hold the premises conveyed, the
Rothschilds, Vanderbilts, and Goulds
would be the veriest beggars compared
with them,
Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-02-28

JOHN BARLOW, once American Min
lister to France, died in the early part
of this century at wilma, Poland. where
he was buried, and Senator Plat is
now taking an interest in measure
before the Senate which provides that
his remains be exhumed and brought
back to his native land. In his young
manhood Mr.. Barlow fought in the
revolution of 1776, and he proved his
valor at the battle of White Plains.
Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-02-28

A FLOATING island is said to exist on
Henry's Lake, Idaho. 1t is about
three hundred feet in diameter, and is
erratic in its travels, frequently,
though, going with the wind, which
catches in the trees and thereby carries
it along. It is said that the curiosity
might remain near shore for days, and
then during the night sneak away,
and in the morning be many miles dis
tant. -
Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-02-28

A RUDE stone cist has been exhumed
in Orphir, Kirkwall, inside of which
was found textile garment supposed
to be wooden; also, an amber bead and
the nucleus of glass one. This is
believed to be the first cist found in
Scotland with textile garment, sup
posed to be for covering the body, and
the beads for ornamenting the cover
ing. This burial-place is thought to
be anterior to the Morse invasion, about
the eighth or ninth century.