Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-04-07
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.

in, said Brother Gardner, as the meeting
opaned in due form, sis: DO We Expsck
too much p It ar matter dat hev de-
voted heep O. thought to, an hev cum
to de conclushun dat we do. Las nlte
when l went to bed 1 had twelve chickens
in my coop. Iexpeckted dar' would DC
list toelre dar' when I woke up dis ma"n-
in. Had I any right to? No, sahi but
when found only seven.left jumped up
an down an felt dat de hull world was
agin me. ,;e,
I'VE expeck to go right along frew life
walkin' on our ears an teelln' as pear. as a
calf. an when sickness sejzas us, we pear
to be astonished dat SIGH things BIN De'
'We 20 to bed at night countin on. oe
incest sort of weather fur tomorrow, an
when we wake up an find de ram comm
down we feel dat great IN ustlce has Dln
done us.
II lend de Rev. PsnStCck dollar, an !
expeck he will repay me on Saturday !
hain't NO right to expeck it, but do, an
Ieit left. Mebbe dean git it fur month.
"Waydown Bebee sends his chilen ober
to my house to borry tea an coffee an
soap an flst-irons. l confidently expeck
to git 'em back. but dey nebber come.
7As human beins we ar unreasonable.
We goes sloshin' around like steam oull-
CINE 'specktin' eberybody will cFar oe
road an Civ as free track. We dean.
count on CONS, biles, headache, rheuma-
tiz, sore throat an lsme backs, an we
reckon on dodgin' drOu ghts, freshets, biz
yards an yeller fever"
Shindig Watkins begged to differ with
the president He argued that person
was horn into this world to take
comfort He had right to
expect good weather, a reasonable
cash income, lots of holidays and the hight
70 keep seven dogs. Why should person
expect to wake up ard end boil on the
calf OF his lee? 1t wss more reasonable to
expect that it would appear on some other
mans leg. 1t wasn't expecting too much,
as he viewed it, that the hens he left peace
fully roosting on pole at 6 o'clock in the
evening shouldn't be on deck at 6 in the
morning.
The Rev. Penstock, who had been very
uneasy for the last five minutes, now arose
and inquired:
81 would like 10 inquire if de cheer
claims dat owe him dollar?"
mo, sab; rot jist now" replied the
chair.
81 would furder irqusr' if l cher Dor
rOwed a dollar of de cheer an didn't re-
turn il?"
"You hev allus returned it, sab. I
used your case simply to illustrate. If
you bad borrowed dollar of me an hadn't
returned 1t dar' wouldn't be muffin to
Illustrate. Did you wish to speak on de
question:
mo, sar. I simply desiah to cl'ar my
finanshul reputashun in de eyes of de
world"
Den you kin sol down. Your inan-
shul reputashun ar wsy up in g."
Sir Isaac WalpOle sand he wss in accord
with the President. He believed it was
the great fault CT mankind to expect too
much. Men eat on the fence all summer
and expected to live on roast beef and
mashed potatoes all winter. They ex-
pected to get the smooth shedding
and leave the rough roads to someone else.
Men who couldn't pay their house rent ex-
pected good clothes and piano in the par
Tor. H sought to be reasonable in his ex-
pectations. The extreme limit with him
wss expecting his landlord to repair the
plaster of the kitchen ceiling, and he had
been knocked out on that so often that ne
had become discouraged.
Waydown Behee said ne arose to ques-
ton of Jurisdiction. The chair had made
a statement which be could not pass I'M
noticed. While it was true that he lived
next door to Brother GardLer, and ooca
sioually bad to borrow groceries, he had
always made it an irhexible rule TO return
the loans Did the president mean to in.
sinuate that he was derelict?
dis char reckons you has paid Il all
back, " answered the pre5dent." Il was
simply illustratin' my remarks. l might
hey meant dat when l lent yen Java cof-
fee l 'spacted de same kind bsck, but got
Rio instead. If you hev no remarks to
make on de queshen at issue you kin cot
down"
But feel dat my integrity has been
impugned, sahr'
"You is all wroug. Your integrity has
muffin to do wild it. You is energetic huff
to keep a plug hat fur Sundays, an hon
eat huff not to be cotched by de purleece.
OATS all, sab, an you'd better SGT down"
Givesdam Jones said he had given fifteen
minutes solid thought to the irquiry now
before the meeting, but had not been able
to decide the matter. Il seemed reason
able that a man with boil on MS right
fore-leg should expect the public to
pass him on the port side, but he would
surely be disappointed. 1t would seem as
if man was put here 10 enjoy himself,
and as if he could expect dark nights in
the watermelon season and good weather
for Sunday school picnics bat the biggest
melons always came with fall moon, and
tie picnic always had shower on the
way home, if not sooner. He did not de-
sire 10 commit himself at this time, but
would admit that he leaned TO The afirma-
tive.
Gen. Colfax, Judge Holdback Prof
jackson, Uncle Davis and others spoke on
the question, and The discussion was then
closed and vote was taken. 1t was
found that the query was carried in the
affirmative by large majority.
SOME FATHERLY ADVICE.
Ar Brudder L'gntioot IN de nall dis
evening"" asked the President as be looked
anxiously around.
'Yes, sab, answered the brother he he
bobbed up with energy ard dispatch
''Please step dis way aah. Brudder
Lightfoot, understands dat you has late
ly been calm yoself puIfsssor."
Yes, sah. plays on de fiddle"
ooh, dots il? Yon has also been wear
in mighty high collars"
Eyes, sab.
Got good clothes?'
eyes, sab"
''Talkin' bout rentin' box in pos ofis,
l h'sr?n
"Yep, sah?"
"Au' you is smokin' regular cigars?"
Yves, sab"
"Ar' dat dimun pin you has on?'
'N-nOt quite, sab"
"An' dot watch chain all gOld?'