The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1889-06-25
BITS or WIT AND WISDOM
Cleaned by our Scissors and Paste.
AsOt Editor.

OF JOY that creeps over mans face
when the oootjack strikes with dull, dead thud
And nc KNOWS 1t has struck the right place
! Lawrence MASS. American.
In the natural course of events the
green apple and green melon and the
small boy will soon come into COLLISION
Plttsburg Commercial.
-Mudge-For Heavens sake, Bos.
worth, have yon been sanbagged or in a
railway accident
Bosworth-N either. | hid under the
ped the other night to scare my wife,
Courier-J ournal.
wv estern papers are wondering over
the unusual activity IN the Brooklyn
Navy Yard" and are in doubt whether
MIR. Blaine intends to conquer Hayti or
sweep the Behring Sea.
-Norristown Herald: A number of
young women in Cuthbert, Ga, have or
gained an anti-kissing society. Those
who have seen the members say that
such a precaution was not necessary.
burlington Free Press GLOW long
40 mosquitoes live ?" asks correspon-
dent. That depends a good deal on the
kind of fellow they light on
-Terre Haute Express Rejoice, O
young man, in the days of thy youth, but
remember that, big as he is, the whale
does not blow much until he reaches the
top.
What's the matter with the cornstalk
tassel? Why not have it for the nation
al flower? 1t grows everywhere on the
continent.-Dayton (Ohio) Herald.
Workers Statesman: The widow is
less selfish than the maiden, for while the
latter is always looking out for No. the
former is satisfied in watching for No. 2.
Baltimore American: The President
Of Michigan University is an Angel.
This fact will be of great service to the
university if they ever want wings to the
building.
New Orleans Picayune: Young
people who have courted in society 60 on
bridal trips to see how they like each
other.
The Irvine trust is so grasping that
it would not leave the Northwestern
farmer enough cord to tie up his mortga-
ges.-Courier Journal.
-Mamma-What thoughtless remark
have you been making to Mr.. Ryche?
Nellie-I made no thoughtless remark.
Mamma-What did you say to him.
Nellie--I told him he was fool-Chi-
cago Herald
Oil City Blizzard: Grit makes the man
and want of it the chump; the men who
win lay hold, hang on and hump.
I'm the kissing line the Birmingham girl
Can discount the girl from Sioux;
One taste of her lip and her clingnV grip
Will lift N 10 out OF his shioux.
Birmingham Age Herald.
The railroad is said to be civilizing
agent, and yet the worst part of a town
is always that through which railroad
passes and it stays bad, too.
"A Khatri widow, aged sew enteen
years, is prepared for marriage. Appli-
cations, giving age, caste, religion, social
position and education, to be sent to
Guardian, " care of Postmaster, Quetta.
Lahore Qndia) Tribune.
Little Jimmy visits his fathers off ice
and after examining the type-wrltlng ma
chine, observed to his mother: Say,
Mariner, what, do they take those to
the theatre for? 2"
"My boy" replies his mother, they
do not take them to the theatre"
"Well. it's mighty funny, then. Pa
was tellin' Mr. Men ohies that he
took his typewriter to :he theatre =
James, said his father sternlv, /"
will see you in the stable this evening"
brakes Magazine.
The wise man now takes his umbrella
The coony man that of another Teller.
Henry Ward Beecher once said -
"The blond type is nearest to the divine
likeness" Very few newspapers use
blond type.-Wilkesbarre Leader.
The inside fact about trusts is that
they can trust" anything if only the
managers can trust each other.-New
York Herald.
Tell me not in mOurnful numbers,
Lite is but an empty dream,
While the maid Of forty summers
Keeps Ter passion for ice cream
Philadelphia Call.
1t is a curious illustration of the size
of our county that there might be cy-
clone ever week during the summer sea-
son for nearly hundred and sixty years
without the same county suffering twice
from a visitation Norwich Bulletin.
-"I never could trust hm-he breaks
his word every time he opens his mouth"
Gle does Z"
"Yes-he shutters "-Chicago Globe.
The father whales the child; the
| child blunbers. The sailor goes a-whal-
inc 10 secure blubber. The poet walls
when he is "spouting' Then there's the
Prince OF Wales-but it's no use; We'll