St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-01-03
EVERYBODY'S FRIEND.
A Model Landlord Discovered in
New Mexico.

Landlords of New Mexico hotels are
determined that they shall be conducted
upon the accommodation plan, and no
pains are spared that will conduce to
the comfort of guests. This is. borne
out by the rules and regulations of
leading refuge for the travelling public
in the land of the AZtecs. A prominent
citizen of st. Paul, who has recently
made tour of that section, was given
the following card upon his arrival at
a haven of rest:
''The Plaza hotel has been built and
arranged for the special comfort and
convenience of commercial and pleas
ure travellers and stockmen. On arrival,
each guest will be asked how he likes
the situation; and if he says the hotel
ought to have been placed OIL the hill. or
further down town, the location OF the
house will be Immediately changed.
Corner front rooms, up only one Night,
for every guest.
"Baths, gas, water closet, hot and cold
water. laundry, telegraph, restaurant,
fire alarm, bar room, billiard table,
daily papers, coupe. sewing machine,
grand piano, typewriter, photographer,
a clergyman, and all modern conven-
fences in every room. Meals every
minute if desired, and consequently no
second table. English, Spanish, French
and German dictionaries furnished
every guest, to make up such bill of
fare as he may desire, without regard
to the bill-atfair afterward at the office.
Walters of any nationality and color de-
sired. Every waiter furnished with a
libretto, buttonhole boquet, full-dress
suits, ball tablets, and his hair parted
in the middle. Every guest OF the
Plaza will have the best seat in the
dining hall, and the best waiter in the
house.
ANY guest not getting his breakfast
red-hOt, or experiencing a delay OF six
teen seconds after giving his order for
dinner, will please mention the fact at
the office. and the cooks and walters
will be blown from the mouth of the
cannon in front of the hotel at once.
Children will be welcomed with delight,
and are requested to bring hOOp-StickS
and base balls, to bang the carved rose
wood furniture especially provided for
that purpose; peg tops to spin on the
velvet carpets: they will be allowed to
bang on the piano at all hours, yell in
the halls, slide down the banisters, fall
down stairs, carry away dessert enough
for small family in their pockets at
dinner, and make themselves as disa-
greeable as the fondeSt mother can de-
sire.
"Washing allowed in the rooms, and
ladies giving an order to put me on
flat iron,' will be put on one at any
hour of the day or night. A discreet
waiter, who belongs to the Masons, Odd
Fellows, Knights of Pythias, and who
was never known 10 tell the time of day,
has been employed to carry milk
punches and hot toddies to ladies'
rooms.
every lady will be considered the
belle of the house, and bell boys will.
answer the belle promptly. Should any
bell boy fail to appear at guests door
with pitcher of ice-Water, more towels,
a gin cocktail, and pen. ink and paper,
before the guests hand has left the bell
knob, he will be branded Front on
his forehead, and imprisoned for life.
1.-The office clerk has been carefullyse-
lected to please every body, and can
lead in prayer, play draw poker, match
worsted at the dry good store, shake for
drinks at any hour, day or night, play
billiards, good is Waltzer and can dance
the German, make a fourth at euchre,
amuse children, repeat the Lansdowne
divorce trial from memory, is good
Judge of horses, as railway and steam
boat reference is far superior to Apple
toms or anybody else's guide, will fiirt
with any young lady and not mind be-
ing cut dead when pa comes down.
Don't mind being damned any more
than a New Mexico river. Can room
forty people in the best room in the
house when the house is full, attend the