San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-07-19
RESTAURANT PtNsIoeNoMY.
One of the Profession Tells About How
Walters Are Made Miserable.

Walters Are Made Miserable.
In the quiet hour just after the noon rush
the observant hasher leaned over the lunch
counter and thoughtfully surveyed the broad
cloth coattails of tall, slender gentleman
who was just melting into the crowd OF work
men, merchants, lawyers and other busy
mortals hurrying back to their various en-
Payments, and remarked:
There is the quietest, most gentlemanly
kicker that ever saw in my life"
"Whyl" laconically remarked the clerk,
who was eating a plate Of doughnuts, prof.
feSsionally known as "life preservers" at al
Seat by the counter.
"Well, you see that new waiter over there1
brought him potatoes and cream for bananasI
and cream, and rather than hurt the mans
feelings by mentioning the mistake, he called
me over there, and, putting his hand to hisl
mouth, whispered in my ear:
"-Sorry to trouble you, but I don't think
these are bananas that the other gentleman
brought me- Beg your pardon, you know,
but if you could change them without his
noticing, | should be very much obliged
You bet | changed them for him and got !
this, and he bit fifty cent piece to see if it !
was good.
Its funny" continued the obseryant
youth, 1.-THE difference there is in men. Now,
you see that fat jolly fellow over there at
the side table eating lobster and laughing
over funny story he has just told He keeps
a shoe store up here and sells goods through
sheer good nature, but in truth he's brute.
He looks like a good fellow who would be
easy to please, don't he"
The listener admitted that said party of
the first part looked quite amiable, and the
hasher replied:
''Well, he amt. That man would kick If
he was going to be hung, he would. He comes
here every day for dinner, and he usually sits
at my table, because | am about the only
waiter there is here who hasn't refused to
wait on him. He comes in with putting and
blowing that would do credit to a sewer en-
CINE and yells to me before he is seated He
wants glass of water first and drinks it at
one gulp and then sets down the glass and
says: Bah! why don't you have some water
that's fit to drink He kicks because there
are crumbs on the cloth, swears because >the
napkins are damp snarls at every dish as it
is set down, and fairly bowls over what he
terms the 'ungodly size of the bill He
throws the dishes around, rattleS the silver,
stabs viciouSly at the food and pounds on his
plate with a knife if he wants anything. He
enuS ny klCAkIlS 10 Tue CdSuleI anu so my uH-
complimentary things about the cigar he
buys at the desk"
1t was hard TO believe all this about so
pleasant faced a man, but the waiter was
very positive about it, and having settled
that point, sized up a tall, thin man, who
| had Just come in, and began to give a mouth
sketch of him. 'Do you notice how mean he
looks;' said he. Just catch on TO that long
mulish lip of his, will you! You would think he
was mean enough to sell his share in a treat,
wouldn't you' He isn't, though. He is a
| good fellow, and is satisfied with everything.
| | never knew him to kick but once. He will
saw away at bootleg steak or wrestle
with refractory crust of stale bread without
even indulging in the usual facetious remarks
about chloroform and buzz saws, He never
shivers in an exaggerated and unnatural
| manner if his coffee isn't hot enough to boil
| eggs. He eats what he orders-if he can
and pays for it without murmur. The one
crying'need of our profession is more men
like that; but even he had to say something
once. He had ordered mince pie, and the
| first piece of it he put in his mouth contained
half inch section of hoop iron, which he
| didn't seem to appreciate, but even then he
didn't say much. He called me over, pointed
| to the hardware, and said he had concluded
to adopt lighter diet and would like plate
| Of sponge cake. st. Paul Globe. ,