The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-07-20


TO be yo' welded wifez'
OFF de laws 'greable, yes sahi" was the
answer.
Gam yer 'vised, Parhashus, dat she plays de
concertina whilst her mudder plays de wash.
bod"
81 hearn so, parson but yo' kyan't blame de
gal fO' habbin' mo- lub fo' moosic dan for
soapsuds."
"Co'se not, PaThashus, but am YER war; oh
de fac dat she m mem'er oh de Crow Holler
Debatin' sciety an de Krischin Wimmin's
Go's-yer-please Paternity? gu
"Ts hearn roomers er de same, parson, but
rs chowder mem'er Oh de KeyhOse Refo'm
club myself, an dem little ippysodes hain't
scar'in' me Bit"
''But locker yer, Perhashus, is yer 'quainted
wild de geolergy OBJ de family 'nough ter know
dat all 'er auntssters on Ter mudder's side
manage ter 'scote fo' OF fife husbans froo dis
vale er tears befo' dey fotch up wild der own
Rllyby?7
81 is, parson. I got dem facs in Cremer-
earter's stiffycat er belt"
"An' nebbersoebber darfo', widout any fear
Or cOnvulsiOns Ell de party er de secon' part,
20 takes dis 'Ooman fo' yer spous', hopin' dat
she'll tu'n out better dan de skedyule, but
prayin', all de same, dat eff she tu'ns out wus
Dat de Lawd IL glib yo' strenk ter bar do
calamus?'
81 does, parson, per bonum publicus, as de
constitution oh de United States say"
The parson, turning aside, was heard to
nurmur: my, myl Eff was a mason an
4uired SAN ter bull a chu'ch I'd go ter Par
hashus, then stopping a moment to adjust
his spectacles for new trip down their
natural toboggan slide, addressed himself TO
the expectant bride:
yl1ar,taI.%ar, - cold bo HJOoc fol
Parhashus ter be yo' welded husban'?"
II does, parson," she replied.
"Ter hab an ter hop de same not'standin
de fac dat eff he TUX dat wig orr yo'd git da
notion yo' wuz marryin' a aigpIant?"
"Notstandin' dat, parson," was the re-
spouse.
"An' eff yo' knowed de trufe dat Parhashus
had been dat egcentrik in his life dat bout de
only place he I'M ierble ter sing Home, Sweet
Home in, am de county Jail, would dat tu'n
you fom de paff er matermony2"
"Reckon not, parson."
"But see yer, Creamertarter'-wit almost
sensational emphasis-"am yo' formed er
Parhashus habin wife an fo' chillen's down
IN Pensycoly? Eha Tell me datl"
IT nebber hearn Cat, parson," was the re-
ply, with just shadow of perturbation, "bnt
Of his family 'zertz i'm dat away hain't it mo-
de duty O er Krischin ter soove de POI
suffrer?"
"Mebbe yo'm right, Creamertarter," said
the master of ceremonies, with a somewhat
dubious shake of the head; "mebbe yohn
right, but femme ak you dis: Does yo know
dat Parhashus hain't very Screwb'lous bout
whose henroos' he picks his poultry fom?"
81 does, parson," came with no little
promptness "but l alters flowed dat eff I
ebber TUX husban' I'd keep M eye open fo'
good perwider."
With just the least show of disgust the
parson continued: can not'standin' de TO-
said, bein' SCUM in min an knowing de GER
tainties er life, yo' takes Parhashus ter be yo'
Lo'ful podner, fo' better N wuss, share an
share like, till def parts one or de udder OBJ
yerg'
"Dem's my sentiments, parson," was the
answer.
"Den," said the parson, as he interlocked
their hands and drew back to avoid the shock
of the kiss he saw them preparing for, ''den,"
said he, II pernounces yer man an wife, aa'
mus say, arter all de chances rs CUB yer,
dat yom two er de bigges' fools dat de plow
er my 'sperience has ebber tuned out de fur
rers er human natur'. Wade Whipple, in
Tid Rita