Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-15
NO CURE FOR BADNESS.
A Vast Fortune Awaits the Man Who Can
Restore Lost Tresses.

'.Can hair be made to grow on bald
heads?" said fashionable hair-dresser
in response to New York lIaa and
Express reporters query. '.Yes-and
no. If a person becomes bald owing
to illness the hair can be made to grow
again. In fact, it will grow again
without making. but it can be aided
and stimulated in its growth by tonics.
But if person is deprived of his or
her hair by natural loss of vitality ii
will not grow again, and nothing has
ever been compounded that will restore
1t. Natural badness comes on grad
ually. and the awful day of its COM
plete triumph over the hairs existence
may be postponed by the use of tonics,
but the final catastrophe can't be pre-
vented. Long experience has taught
me that fact, although years ago ]
had the personal opinion of the re-
nowned DR.. Bazin, of Paris, to that
effect. | have dressed heads for more
than quarter of a century. I have
lamented with hundreds of nv pa
irons, from whose heads not only the
hand of time but the indiscretions and
carelessness of youth were gradually
but persistently plucking the natural
and often luXuriant covering, and
have anointed, drenched, and plastered
their too apparent polls with lotions,
tonics, and pomatums, and rubbed and
kneaded and manipulated their failing
scalps until if there had been one en-
Der of hair fire left slumbering there
it must surely have been brought back
to its wonted fire and vigor, and have
given it up at last and handed them
the card of the wig-maker. If | have
used one hair restorative / have used
800, and every one was warranted to
not only prevent badness but to re-
store to bald heads their sometime
hirsute glory. Look at me. See
what remarkable growth and youth
full gloss of hair have. 1t has not
changed in twenty-five years. WhyP''
The hair-dresser seized his soft,
brown hair with both hands, and with
a vicious jerk, removed it from his
head. 1t was a costly wig, and his
head was as white and as bare as a
billiard-ball.
THAT is why!" he murmured bitter
ly. ''And | am not only hair-dress-
er, but one skilled in every tonsorial
art. If there were help for badness
other than the skill of the wig-maker
do you suppose for moment that L,
of all men, would not know it, and,
knowing it, would not only have res
cued myself, but have saved to myself
hundreds of my most profitable Gus
toner's? If that is not proof enough
that man once bald is always bald
Just call to mind doctors of YOUR own
acquaintance who are bald as glass
globes. They are learned in the mys-
teries of drugs and their preparation.
They know what result their combina-
ton and application will produce. If
any one living were capable of curing
badness some one among these ex-
perts in the science of medicine ought
to be. You never had occasion to go
to doctor to get a prescription for
badness. l have.
"'COme to me for a cure for any,
thing else, my medical adviser said.
Anything else, said he, and [ will
cure you. But baldnessi Why, my
dear sir, Esculapius himself was as
bald as-as bald as-well, as bald as [
ami
''And he was bald, this doctor of
mine. An onion has more hair than
he had! No, my son, if there lurked
anywhere in all the materia medica of
not only this age, but of past ages,
the name of the little drug or herb, or
whatever you may call it, that could
bid even one hair to grow where there
had been ten before. there would be
no bald doctors nor bald-head hair
dressers, and the discoverer of this
boon would live longer in the hearts
of men than would the much-spoken
individual who is expected to reach
the summit of all greatness some day
by making two blades of grass grow
where only one grew before