The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-19
BRIGHT BITS

THERE is a doctor for every 900 Inhabitants
IN this country. This may account for the fact
tnat Americans are snortiived.-LalcreHce
american.
MRS HoNEYMooN-Arent these dear little
coifeespoons that Brother Tom sent us?
Mr Honeymoon-Very. l received the bill
for them this morning, $75 for the DOZEN
HGrDer's Bazaar.
THAT tramp seems 10 be suffering from the
shakes, " remarked Farmer Furrow as a tough
iookias fellow savagely shook the kitchen door
Il IL try the hot water cure on him." said the
old lldy as she pourel kettleful on the nomad.
-Nelo York Journal
HIGH SPIRITED GIRL-"But if YOU don't
love nm, Clara, why are you going to marry
Because he dared me to, mamma He knew
my hlgh-splrlted nature, too. o, I'll IN IKE him
sorry enough for it--don't you be afraid -
Chicago Tribune.
HE NEW DIPLOMATIC LINGo.-Secretary
Blaine-Your excellelcy have message from
the edltor-in-chief of Tue French mission.
The President-Weil?
secretary Blaine-H wants to know if he can
pu on sdo few days while he runs over
TO London Puck.
The Sunday school teacher had been telling
the class how honesty was better than royai
birth, and to test the force of her remarks in
Dc a klngf Johnny was silent. II know, -
SAID the new pupil well, you NAV tell. "
Tine right bower Merchant Traveller.
KEPT HIMSELF MIGHTY Qu1Er.-Prof. Wig.
gins, who assumed control OF the earth and the
outlying plan Is few ,ye'rs ago, says "the
sun is going away fro the earth" This is the
first time we knew Old Sol mad been here.
Funny that none of tie reporters got on to il.
He must have landed on the other side.-Bur-
dette.
SOMETIMES new light does break forth on
scripture Interpretation. An English preacher
| lately. IetIiQr tho Of G.,
after recitinS the good mans promise to the
host And when l come again | will reply
| thee Won I'd up with. This ne said, knowing
he should see his face no more '-Ch, tstiGn H.
qut er.
TAXES Room TO GET 1T ALL IN.-"What's
| that?' asked old Gunnyoags, as supplement
crowded with lonS columns of names and
figures fell from the newspaper when he
op ned 1t, Delinquent tax lst?'
NO, SAID MS son, as ne scanned the sheet,
tits reyo.t of the cricket matc1 on Decora.
ton day. Blu, dette
POINT WELL TAKEN-Little Howard had
been told he must he punished, but that ne
could choose between whipping and being
painful thought, he said: well, papa, if
mann nall do it, guess Ill be whipped, but if
you are going to wnip me. I guess IN be shut
ap.-- Youth s ConPcDion. =.
A MAN TO BE AVOIDED Morris Parke-There
is Franklin de Belleville. Let's turn down this
street.
Madison squeer4I thought you and he were
great Friends
Morris Rafke SO wefare; but he moved into
| the suburbs lately, apd ! don't want TO hear
anything abdul his garden. AP,icE..
WIcKwlRE--I wish to goodness somebody
would invent a way to distinguish between a
typewritlng machine aad The girl who runs IT,
Yabsiey-I should think a man of ordinary
sense would have no trouble in doing So
Wckwire Q, you idiot, mean in WRITING
| received bill stating that WAS indebted &c
| Blank & Co. for ribbon for typewriter" anC
my wife got hold of it and raised dick ems of q
| row for aoout an hour before she'd let me ex
| plain.-l ere HdUte Express.