St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-05-12
AN oBSERVANT HASHER.
A Biscuit-Shooter Details Some Of His
Experiences.
SOME KICK AND SOME DON'T.
Liuhts and Shadows Of Restaurant Life
As Seen in the Flour
l.. City.

Veyed the DrOadclOth cOat-tallS or tall,
slen der gentleman who was just melt
ing into the crowd of w0rkmen. mer-
chants. lawyers and other busy mortals
hurrying back to their various employ
ments, and remarked:
''There is the Quietest, most gentle
manly kicker that l ever saw in my
life.'
"Why?" laconically observed clerk
who was eating plate of doughnuts,
professionally known as ''life preServ-
ers" at a seat by the counter.
''Well, yon see that new waiter over
there brought him potatoes and cream
for bananas and cream, and rather than
hurt the mans feelings by mentioning
the mistake he called me over there,
and putting his hand to his mouth,
whispered in my ear:
''Sorry to trouble you, but i don't think
these are bananas that the other gentle
man brought me. Beg your pardon,
you know, but if you could change
them without his noticing, should be
very much obliged You bet changed
them for him, and got this" and he
bit 5O-cent piece to see if it was good.
''It's funny continued the Observant
youth, ''the difference there is in men.
Now, you see that fat. jolly fellow over
there at the side table, eating lobster
and laughing over funny story he
here, and sells goods through sheer good
nature; but in truth he's a brute. He
looks like good fellow who would be
easy to please, don't he"'
The listener admitted that said party
of the first part looked quite amiable,
and the hasher REPLIED:
s.Well, he amt. That man would
kick it he was going to be hung. he
would. He comes here every day for
dinner, and he usually sits at my table,
because l am about the only waiter
there is here who hasn't refused to wait
on him. He comes in with putting
and blowing that would do credit to a
sewer engine, and yells to me before he
is seated. He wants a glass OF water
first. and drinks it at one gulp, and then
sets down the glass and says, Bah!
why don't you have some water that's
fit to drink?' He kicks because there
are crumbs on the cloth, swears because
dish as it is set down. and fairly hOwlS
over what he terms the 'ungOdly size of
the BILL He throws the dishes around,
rattles the silver. stabS viciOusly at the
food and pounds on his plate with a
knife if he wants anything. He ends
by kicking to the cashier and saying
uncomplimentary things about the cigar
he buys at the desk"
1t was hard to believe all this about so
pleasant-faced a man, but the waiter
was very positive about it, and having
settled that point. sized up a tall, thin
man, who had just come in, and begun
to give mouth sketch of him. "Do
you notice how mean he looks" said he.
''Just catch onto that long muliSh lip of
his, will you? You would think he was
mean enough to sell his share in treat,
wouldn't you. He isn't, though. He
is good fellow, and is satisfied with
everything. l never knew HIM to kick
leg steak, or wrestle with refractory
crust of stale bread without even in
dulging in the usual facetious remarks
about chloroform and buzz saws. He
fishes the festive roach out of the PURGE
without grimace, and never shiverS
in an exaggerated and unnatural man
ner if his coffee isn't hot enough to boil
eggs. He eats what he orders-if he
can-and pays for it without a lnurmur.
The one crying need of our profession
is more men like that; but even he had
to say something once. He had or
dered mince pie, and the first piece of
1t he put in his mouth contained half
inch section of hoop iron, which he
didn't seem to appreciate, but even
then he didn't say much. He called
me over, pointed to the hardware, and
said he had conclud ed to adopt lighter
diet, and would like plate of sponge
cake"
The observant and conscientious hust-
Ter was here interrupted by hungry
tramp, who had Just ''caught sucker
for quarter, and his interesting dis
cussion of the subject of astronomical
and kindred peculiarities was unfort-
tunately cut short at once.