The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-02-09
The Man About Town.

The Man About Town.
A bald'headed man In the orchestry row,
Leaned back la his seat and wondered,
While the horn and the fiddle tlatted full
well,
And the base drum loudly Numbered.
But the man anext him pounded his ear,
And howled above the riot,
"Oh, don't this raise the hair on your head ?"
He said "lf 1t did I'd buy It,"
*.*
The Journal has closed the gambling
hels.-JOuradt.
What on earth are you squealing for,
Rosy:
l notice by the talk of the auctioneers
that horses are bringing good prices at the
"sales" going on in this and adjoining
counties Of course this may be merely
talk" they desiring to talk themselves up
as "beavy weights" in the auctioneering
line, but am ready to believe that much
of Il Is true, because have heard but lit
tie complaint from those who have had
sales. Wouldn't it be good time, say
about the first of March, to have horse fair,
or horse sale day, 10 the city? There Is no
questioning the fact that farmers will at
tend, If there is the right kind of an effort
put forth to bring them in. don't know
that the sale In Itself would be of great
benefit to the city, or to any one but the
farmers, for 1t is they who would bring
horses here to sell, and they who would
buy, but it would bring into town men who
do not ordinarily come here, and perhaps
have an effect in making Ottawa their
trading point at future date. Ii sale
was TO take place 1t should not be entirely
a sale of blooded stock, for farmers do not
buy that kind of horses, they buy good
strong work no ses, and good, not over
stylish, buggy stock. Some leave the bug
gy stock out and buy only only work
horses, as they do not relish keeping horses
In idleness. or for the "women folks"
which-to their minds-amounts IL the
same thing.
There is a north side young man whose
coat collar encloses red lurid flame. He
was invited out 10 party the other nigat
to be given in honor of his best girls
birthday. His best girls pa is large man
with a hand like small ham, and foot
we'll he is around on his uppers half the
time because he cannot procure boots OF
the requisite size unless he sends to Chi
cago or has them made to measure. The
young man is terribly absent minded, and
often mistakes Friday for Saturday, Mon
day for Tuesday, etc. The party came off
on Tuesday evening All the girls who
went to the feast of fun were accompanied
by male escorts-but this young mans best
girl had no com panion. Her pa,-he Of
the large pedal exIemities-was mad The
Young man came around on Wednesday
evening and asked the old gent, in conf
dental, don't.speak- aloud way, where the
festivities were and what was the matter
with the measy surprise anyhow. He in
timated that he was anxious for the good
old games of kiss in the Dark" "Post-
office" Lead" and others that he knew
that were appropriate for just such occa~
sions The old gent listened but his hands
were tightly clenched, and ibis heels dug
gravel in way that would have given any
other young man, but young man in love,
an inkling of the thoughts within. the
old gent was mad. He had been mad the
evening before, and bad nursed his wrath
all day, and now came this brazen youth to
make sarcastic remarks upon the party
that his nonattendance had wrecked. He
raised one enormous foot and the young
man shot out over the front fence into the
gutter, where he lay in a dazed condition,
while the old gent belabored him with Il
base ball bat When he finally assured
himself that he was yet alive, and lmped
home, the finale is best explained by this
conversation.
The Youth-5ay, Ma, what day is to-
day."
Ma-"Wednesday, my son"
The outh-"Ohw
.*
Since | spoke of the way one of the
members of the choral union dished up
its affairs to me- a local paper appears to
find it very appropriate to Jump on my
neck" OF course the local paper has a
perfect right to do So if it bankers to jump,
and as it has never been known to break
any bones to speak of, | am not particu
larly averse to be becoming victim, if
1t will defer dropping upon my anatomy
until it hears both sides of the case. | met
prominent member of the Union-one of
its enthusiastically after the article ap-
peared. He admitted that the state OF
affairs portrayed was correct, but further
stated that this state was just the state de-
sired by the good singers. He said that
tha union had abundance Of financial hack