The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-06-01


What's the matter?
o, nothing, Only a dog fight. If it had
been poor little girl asking for bread the
crowd wouldn't have been there. What
right have little girls to ask for bread any
how? What interest has the crowd in bread
and girls. Dog fights are what the crowd
pants for. Give us dog ights-chieken
fghts-prize fights. Hang charity and man
illness anyhow.
l had an experience the other day which
will not say is new to all men, for | am
convinced that the job has been worked in
other cities before it was tried in Ottawa. l
was walking briskly down La Sale street,
when man with a red face, ornamented
with fiery mustsche looked at me sharply,
made sign toward my feet and stopped.
though this action singular, and was passing
on when another fellow intercepted me with;
"Want your corn removed sir?'
l told him l did not | had no corn.
What he enormously supposed to be the
influence of a corn was merely the painful
ness of a barked knee. had hammered it
against the bed post in a moment Of absent
mindedness, while searching for q match. |
told him that any further information on the
subject which he might desire, would have
reduced to writing. He stood where had
left him, in crushed struck attitude
and muttersd feably that he was thankful
perhaps that was gone.
*.+
II there is anything that makes an Amer
can Of good breeding intensely weary and
disguised it is sham. What is sham? Sham
is imitation. 1t is the purchasing of imi
tation mahogany dining room and parlor
furniture, and casually speaking oft as ma
hogony. 1t is the wearing of q cotton-silk
back dress and mentioning it as "my new
gros grain silk 1t is the driving Of an
unpedigreed horse and referring to the ami
NAL as "my new Hamblelonian 1t is the
Boosting of "when dined with the Duke Of
80 and-so" 1t is attempted use Of jaw
breaking expressions and sentences in the
delirious idea that you are showing the mark
of q superior education. 1t is the copying
of some fellow whom you in your snobbish
mind place upon pedestal. 1t is the being
Of not what you are, but an imitation of
some one else. Don't do it. Be man. Be
woman. If you can't afford mahogany
buy pine. Don't buy imitation stuff that
will stamp you a cad and snob. Stand
upon your own bottom and if your brain is
of an ox-like constitutionality, don't place
yourself in the path of ridicue by attempt.
ing to be an eagle. This isn't a curtain lee
ture. am talking to others beside resi-
dents of this city. Ottawa isn't the home of
all the snobs just yet.
80
The fellow who goes out between acts at
the theater will have an opportunity to rer
form during the summer months, as the
Sherwood Opera House will soon close for
the season. The fellow who goes out be-
tween acts is harmless sort of young man
who cannot exist for longer period of time
than the duration of one act of play unless
he crooks his elbow and sings teer and
stale cheese into his FACILITATING stomach.
He is queer genius, this young man. For
ten hours day he will stand patiently be-
hind the counter of big dry goods estab-
lishment and measure off calico and burap,
and rubber hose, and only 60 away to eat
his meals. He never thinks of beer and
cheese during these happy hours. But let
the thester door open and the beer and
cheese are his. Poor young man. Fondly
caressing the belief that he is gentleman,
he but brings to mind the faithful beast of
Baalam only in more amplified degree.
Now that the theatre season is about to
close, let him be weaned.
**x
Some one has said that variety Is tn spice
of life. Perhaps it is, but if the variety
now splicing the life of Ottawa is taken as a
criterion, it is pretty poor sort of spice.
$50
A restaurant man is the envied owner of a
pair of boxing gloves. say envied, because
it is proper here, as many would-be boxers
are not possessed of gloves, But this res.
taurant man is an enthusiast on boxing
that is, he enjoys a boxing bout. In this
respect he is somewhat on a parallel with a
young clothing man whom know. This
clothing man is an admirer of Sullivan,
kibrsne, Mitchell, Jack Dempsey, Myer,
(he calls Myer Billy and so far has his
admiration extended that he often decorates
the windows of the establishment with
the portraits of his favorites in lighting