Morning journal and courier., 1889-12-04
ENGLISH FIRES.
A Prejudice Against Pipes.


 London Letter to the Argonaut.l
 The worst of these changes Is that English people chatter and shiver, and sneeze and blow their noses, in determined sort ol way, as if there was no remedy for it all.
 "Why don't you have a fre," said I, ont day, to lady who was sitting with blue knuckles in drawing room that felt like 6 refrigerator.
 "Whats" she cried, Ca fire in September never heard of such thing Fancy one'a coal billi"
 "But." said I, "what if September is aa cold as Decembera'
 "Oh, never begin fires till, at the very least, the end of October" she answered "not till November, if can possibly help It."
 "It ia not a question of dates," said I, "but ore of temperature, I should think"
 'T wouldn't break through my rule for the world" she replied; "my mother always fol- lowed it, and so shall l." and she looked over Primrose Dame. "Fancy 0 fire in Ssptem- Der. never heard of such a thing"
 And so it is, think you will ind, with most English people. They prefer to shake and quiver with cold sooner than "begin fires" before the regular date for them.
 Even then the fires do not do much good As general thing do not suppose there are worse warmed houses in the world than English houses, except perhaps the huts of the Esquimaux. An English fire is not in- tended to warm the house or room in which 1t burns. It is only meant to sit at-a sort of spot where you can warm yourself by drawing your chair up to 1t, or standing with your back 70 it, whenever, after sitting out in the room away from it, you have got chilled through and through.
 ''It's unaocountable to mo that you don't have your houses warmed by hot air or hot- water pipes," heard an American gentle man once say to the English owner of one of the finest houses in the southern coun- ties, at which he was staying on visit. "It would save you extensively in fres."
 sT wouldn't have ouch 8 thing in my house" replied the EnRlishman with snort; "imagine the stuffy airl And fancy giving up one's fres!-one's cheerful fireplace of a winters night! The blazing logs are one of winters greatest charms"
 gro look at," said the American; "not to feel. An oil portrait of fire inserted in the grats would give as much heat twelve feet away from it."
 "But who wants to get twelve feet away from it" exclaimed the Englishman; "no one is such fool as that, should think. Draw your chair up to it as close as you like. That's the way we do in England"
 ''If there are dozen people in the room what are you going to dol All draw up to the fire! Take pretty big fireplace, I should judge. You can't squeeze in over four in front of any fireplace I've seen, whsn other eight freeze before your face and eyesi"
 Tho Englfshman looked cornered for a mo- ment.
 "Whats Ehs Oh'-and a smile lit up his face as happy thought came to his rss- cue-''Hrst come, first served. That's my motto."
 "Better warm the whole room and give everybody chance; that's my motto then. Why, never saw anything like it. It's just fre-men, generally-form ring round 1t, if one or two are not already toasting their backs at 1t with their coat tails spread apart. The other people cannot even see the tire, much less feel it."
 "Why don't the other people look alive and take possession2" asked the Englishman.
 "Then the others would have to freeze. If you had hot pipes all would be warm, and there would be no scramble to reach the fire, or cursing and swearing by those who got left"
 "Hot pipesT' exclaimed the EnRlishman again; ''just fancy the black beetlesl They'd be all over the place."
 "The roaches are an abomination in Eng lish houses, that's . fact. They couldn't be much worse than they are, 50 far as can judge. I had two on my pillow last night great, big, long fellows, with feelers like a lobster-and four on the wall over the head of the bed, ready to drop gently down as soon as blew out the candle. It wasn't hot pipes that brought them"
 'srm sure I'm very sorry your room should be 50 uncomfortable" said the Englishman, stif1y, with subdued huff in his voice.
 "Why, pshawl" laughed the American, 1T don't mind it.. Down in Arizona I've had and couple of scorpions in my bed. It isn't likely I'd be afraid of roach. But, no joke, I'm serious about these hot