Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-06-08
ENNUrS FAIR CAPTIVES.
TWO MAiDENS WHO WANTED TO
SEE LIFE'S GILDED SIDE.
Milk ard Water Adventures In a Museum
Fail TO Realize Imagination's Picture.
Disgu sted Because Their Search Un-
earths Nothing Outrageous"

One sloppy morning, several weeks ago
two young women living on the Hill met at
the home of one of them for the purpose of
dissectiI < their fellow men and women. COM
pairing notes and exchanging experiences, and
IN due me made a mutual discovery that life
In 81 P'iul was decidedly fat and stale, if not
altogether Improbable.
"Now, in New York" yawned Marion
wearily, when society begins to pail, the
girls go Summing and do nice things like
that" Marion is a blonde, and looks as if
her spirit walked only in the sunlight of
angels wings But here the most exciting
thing We ever do is to give a masquerade,
which makes us lot of worry and work and
expense, and when it is over we find we have
only succeeded in making ourselves perfectly
hdeous by misguided selection of costume,
and have had nothing but dancing party
after all p"
Maude thought they ought to be able 10 de-
wise something that would have at least a
grain of spice. "What do you say to going
to the dime museumP' she said abruptly
There might be something in it. :"
'There u.s. exclaimed Maude triumphantly.
land it's Human Balloon read so In
the NOR ming paper"
Il suppose he would have a few clothes
on" remarked Marion doubtfuIly
'Oh, nf course; tights anyway Let's go.n
And 10 it happened that the two daring
young ladies concealed their aristocratic fea-
lures behind thick wells, and trusting their
lives to the integrity of the cable las the first
step III their reckless adventure, perhaps),
came down by the common route and sneaked
aye, verify, sneaked into the dime museum
"Heavensi What smells sop gasped Ma
rion at the top of the stairs
Its the aroma of novelty machere You
may chang you may alter the house If you
will, but the scent of the freak will cling
round il still
THAT sounds as if you had been here be-
fore" and Marion cast an eye of suspicion
upon her friend
well, | haven't, but | went into a side
show once at a circus Marion Hilton she
whispered, grasping that young woman's arm
with tlack-and- blue clutch, Il actually be-
lieve that man is in his skinl"
"Nonsense! Let go my arm Its pink
silk, ano not much of fit either; but it does
look little like skin at first"
The human balloon rose and spoke his little
piece; then drawing prolonged inspiration
he expanded his chest and stomach until his
body was more than twice the original size,
held it o moment, and with n slow expira-
tibh 10 his pro
portions
at Ikes me sick" declared Marion
81 believe its a trick" rejoined Maude
''I'n bet anything it's some kind of rubber
arrange nent that he blows up some way
with air. Let's look at the monkeys"
Thar ks; | meet too many English apes
caperins around in society to find anything
amusing in the African species Maude, what
do you suppose the men are looking at
through those round holes over there on the
sidef'
well, I've been watching, and there hasn't
single woman gone over yet. expect it's
something pretty bad. Would you dare looks
Mercifu goodnessl Is the place on firei"
''No, nom" responded a bystander, eject
ing stream of tobacco juice from swollen
jaw. Its the crowd a-rushin down to see
the sealsn
THEY TAKE IN THE SHOW.
The two girls, determined to see it all, fol
lowed the unsavory throng and to this day
the poss BILE impropriety that hid beyond that
row of tulls eye holes remains tantalizing
mystery to them. The performance of trained
seals they found really interesting. The
juvenile seal was quite as kittenish as the
stage juvenile always is; the topical song
seal sang the usual number of verses with
same old encores; the funny business bore the
authorarive stamp of ripe old age, and on the
whole the entertainment was just as well
worth seeing as two-thirds of the combina-
tions pu5 upon the regular boards, and had
decided advantage over the latter in that the
perform ars were seals and not persons
II didn't see any fur ON them that looked
like my sealskin coat" commented Marion as
the curtin fell.
''Perhlps they've shed their coats think
I've readl that some animals do shed their out
side skin when they get in a warmer eli
rnate'
mo, think you're wrong, Maude, about
that. But perhaps the fur grows ON the in
| side. ! shouldn't wonder if it did, because if
it was on the outside it would got SO stuck
with ice crawling around on icebergs"-
''How do you know they DOR interrupted
Maude.
'Beca Ise, don't you remember, the picture
in our Biographies always represented seals
as summing themselves ON icebergsg'
At the foot of the stairs they found a man
selling tickets for "a first class theatrical per-
formancs by the English Novelty company
of celebr ated artists; gentleman will please
remove heir hats"
"a variety show" whispered Marion.
-
| guess we won't buy reserved seats, but stand
back here We may have to leave"
And variety" show it was, but absolute
| ly free from any impropriety. They found
| it suffic emily interesting to remain to the
| close, although considerably disappointed at
| the absence of anything sensational The
| vocalists had better voices than the average
| singer il first class burlesque, and were cos
| TUNED rather more modestly The jokes, Il
somewhat moss grown, were at least not un
| pleasantly suggestive, and the specialties
were all cleverly done. The artist who played
| popular airs on violin with anything under
| the light of the sun from washboard to ar
| old shoe as Maude afterward said, give bet
ter music than Hoey does with bis peculiar
instrument in "a Parlor Match,n to say
| nothing of the man who proved that rea
| melody can be extracted from penny whis
! tie in the hands-or mouth, rather-of 6
| genius.
"Well we haven't seen or heard a single
thing the least bit outrageous have wep' re
marked Marion, in disgusted tone, as they
walked down Seventh street. "But it's beer
great lark. Wonder if any one saw us
Suppose we wind off with blue points and 9
| pint botileg'
| Maude hesitated 81 would, but want te
be at home by s, and I've got to change my
gown, and curl my bang, and"-
"Maute Anthony, you have an engagement
with -; oh, you sly thingl Well, III gt
over to the Ryan and make call. Tra-la
la-la- Il he tells you that he never knew {
woman 10 whom he could confide his deeper
thoughts and sentiments-one who would un
derstand his real nature, until he met you
| you just wink your inward eye. my dear
and think 'chestnuts. 'n-'Jay" In st. Pan
Pioneer Press.
Don't Get Caught
This spring with your blood full of i'm.