Omaha daily bee., 1889-02-17
DROPS.

On his last logs-the kangaroo.
A ghost of a show-the living skeleton.
The latest thing in mems furnishing goods
is the uight-shirt.
The grocer's right of weigh is one of the
most important a~diuncts of his buslnest.
The surplus of girls is cited as an excuse
for 50 many young men going TO waist.
A Texas cowboy, who was defendant in a
breach of promise suit, said he was lass-sued.
The pig iron trust is the latest monopo-
listic combination 1t is controlled by hogs.
The lon ger an embezzlers accounts are IN
vestigated the shorter they usually be-
come.
Next to waiting for a verdict, the most
soul-harrowlng employment is keeping the
baby asleep.
a fellow who was pitched into a gutter,
where garbage is thrown, describes IL as an
''offaln fall.
There are many eminent American states
men who would be pleased TO sit for cabinet
photographs.
A glass eye has one compensation-every-
body else can see through the device, if the
wearer can't.
operate artists are probably the most
cheerful persons on earth. They always sing
at their work.
When a wife tells her tipsy husband to
come straight up stairs to bed, she asks
something impossible.
Sir Isaac Newton earned fame by seeing
an apple fall. Some people make money by
keeping an apple stand.
There is a mar in the Eighth ward who is
so stingy that he won't allow himself to be
weighed because he would have to tip the
beam.
A man can marry comfortably If he has
sufficient money to procure u license and pay
the parson. The hitch comes when the knot
is tied.
Are you a Doodle alderman}' asked the
visitor kindly. Indeed I'm not said the
prisoner, drawing himself up proudly. 81 am
q wife beater.
A set of shirt studs is made to represent
three green peas. They should rest on the
breast of some lamb who is making his first
season in society.
One sweet potato furnished a meal for two
large families in Ohio the other day. In the
production of potatoes and politicians Ohio
soil is hard to beat.
The sheriffs of Maine are becoming exclu.
sive. They have formed an association.
Crowds at ~hangings in that state will hence
forth be more select.
y pair of shoes constructed for Mr.. Harri
son are on exhibition in New York. The
colored brother should not despair; he may
yet be needed tc black 'em.
We do not know much about the ancient
Egyptians, perhaps, but the grand old
Sphinx with its silent woman's head shows
that they were "A sarcastic people.
The late Oliver Dltson left Sl5,0 COO for the
founding of a home for poor singers. But
the sum is appallingly inadequate. Fifteen
millions wouldn't house half of them.
There is no more sense in hating q man be-
cause he is rich than there would be in low
ing one because he is poor. Girls understand
this sort of thing better than hoodlums.
The shoes made for Mr.. Harrison by
a crack New York shoemaker are number
skies. This is consoling to the officeseekers,
who feared that the general wore ~elevens.
An Albany snowshoe club kept themselves
in practice during the open winter by put
ting a lot of spring beds in a circle, covering
them with canvass, and tramping over them
to slow music.
Theleague of White Caps at St. Paul one
Sunday night gave M. d'Henzel, a French
teacher, a terrible drubbing for reasons best
known TO themselves. Possibly he had been
teaching Canadian French and emitting the
accents.
a Pennsylvania paper says: "The Shak-
ers are among our longest lived citizens.n
An instance strongly corroborative of this
assertion is furnished in the case of a native
Mississippian, who boasts that he has had
the ague twenty-seven consecutive years and
still weighs $50 pounds.