Morning journal and courier., 1889-10-17
NOT MUCH.

Half loaf is better than no vacation at
all.-Tsxas Siftings.
The severity of the Russian climate is the
reason, perhaps, that nearly every Russians
name ends with kof.-Chicago Herald.
1t is said that "castor oil is down." This
will please the small boy. He has frequent
ly tried to get castor oil down and failed
Norristown Herald.
Hooker Crook Ito chum)-'So you've been
getting married during my absence-who
was the best manv Hen Peck (sorrowfully)
-ssMaria. Time.
He-"Will you marry met" She-"No."
He-ssThen will you marry Bob Sawyera He
wanted me to ask you for him, too, while I
was about it."-Epoch.
German Lieutenant (going up the aisle Of
the church with his bride e)-"Dear Alma,
you must take moro pains to keep step with
me."-Fliegende Blatter.
Business.-Jill-"I wonder why they make
the magazines so stupid nowadayss" Jack
81 suppose it is to make the advertising
pages more attractive by contrast. Puck.
Refuted: Harkins-"It is said that women
live longer than men," Barkins-"Bosh!
Why, I've known hundred men who outs
lived their grandmothers. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
"What attitude do you think man ought
to take when asking a girl to marry himt'
ssThe propose" "And suppose she accepts
him?" ''Be- attitude. ."-Detroit Sunday News.
A correspondent wishes to know chow to
become witty talker." There is no ready
of, unless 1t is to take plenty of mustard.
That makes the tongue smart.-Burlington
Free Press.
| Minks-"Were you away last summerl'
| Winks-"Yes, off for about a month at g
| summer resort" Chow did you spend the
timer "Waiting for it to stop raining
New York Weekly.
The national significance of q word: Amer
ican-"I am acquainted with two men who
Moses! Some English gentlemen ave very
hexpensive stables, but Hi never knew such
hextravagance has that."-Jewellers' Week
ly.
Lifes recompenses: Little sister-"Ma
wants you, Sammy. Where've you beena'
Sammy-''Fishin'" Little sister-"Did you
catch anythinga" Sammy (sadly)-"Nothin'
It ALL" Little sister (reassuringly)-"Oh,b but
you will when you get home."-Cleveland
Leader.
The report that gambling has been en-
tirely suppressed In this city proves untrue.
| The chief of police has discovered, to his
guessing at the weight of hog. for the
drinks is still practised at the stock yards,
aud that a grag-bag was run wide open at a
! church social on the West Side recently
| Chicago News.
Minister Ito choir msster)-The music
went splendidly this morning.
| Choir Master-Yes: fatter myself 1t did.
Minister-I am glad to see the singers give
their whole energy to the important religious
work. There is no deception in such singing
| as that.
Choir Master-Well, no; I should say not.
You see, Mr.. Thumper, told the choir last
| night that an operatic manager would attend
church to-day for the purpose of finding
| good voices.-Puck.
Doctor-"Not SO we'll to-day, eh7 Have
| you kept him quiet and given him his medi-
cine regularlya" Mrs. Richard Bevylin Buck
ner-"Dey 'aint been nobody in de room wild
him 'cept me an de children, so he's been
nice an quit; an give him de medicine
like you tole me-three spoonfuls every
hour" Doctor-"Great heavens, woman,
it's wonder he's alivei I said one spoonful
every three hours" Mrs. Buokner-"Well
now, doctsh, dey amt no difference between
one three an three ones. Count 'em fo
yo'self an ee."-Harper's Bazaar.
| Her jaws wag away on a hunk Of gum
| Like a sausage machine at work;
| They make a motion that means yun yum,
AS they jerk and jerk and jerk.
And she's sitting beside a nice young man,
Who loves her enough to smack her,
And she's 1ecturing him as hard as she can
| -on City Blizzard.