Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-25
BASE BALL IN ENGLAND,
Londen Punch Chooses to Wax Mildly Sa
tirical Over Our National Game.

Here is what London Punch has to
say about base ball: Wonder how
''All-American and Chicago like
playing their great national game in a
fog on mud-swamp? What lot of
lert-handers! Fine-built fellows,
though, and natty dress. Look at that
broad-shouldered chap in spotless-
Bang! BY Joye what a downerI He's
not spotless now, either; plastered
with Surry slime from neck to ankle.
Doesn't seem to half like it. What are
they up to? Look to me like lot of
tipsy fellows in fog. Somebody
sprawling every half minute. Find il
difficult to follow the game, and as to
the scoring-well. do they score at ALI
Br-r-r! it is cold! All out? Why, ]
hardly knew they were in. Scorer
Nothing? And after ali that scamper-
ing and stumbling. Rum game this!
All! that's a good spank! First fair
hit I've seen. But what a skyerl
CaughtP Why, of course; dropped in
to fields hands as easily as an egg
into cup. What are they doing nowP
All! there's a swipe! Run, sir, run!
Why, he never stirs! Foul hitP OH
hang it all! What with misses and
fouls, and skyers, and stumbles and
other mysterious movements l can't
understand, they don't seem to score
at ALL 1t may be all very scientific,
but we don't get no forrader." Yes,
they do catch we'll, certainly, and
they throw straight, only nothing
seems to come of it.
Pitcher throws as if he were pelting
A.
looks a cross between Falstaff, a fencer
and Thames diver. Game resembles
a gloriied-and more dangerous
FOUNDERS. only nobody has made a
''rounder" yet, as far as | can see.
Br-r-r! it's cold;yes and slow-distinct-
ly slow. Without the prolonged charm
of cricket, or the swift, short excite
ment of football, but with all the tedium
of the one and all the mud tumbling of
the other.
Whatp All overp Why, they've
done nothing yet. Oh! interval of ten
minutes, Ell? To take breath and talk
to the prince, suppose. Hope H. r.
II. enjoys it inside the pavilion. ]
don't outside.
Out againP Well, let's hope they'll
make it little more lively this time
Don't look as spik-and-span as they
did at first. Too much Oval mud
about them. Why are they always
tumbling over those India rubber hot
water cuShions-oh! bases are theyP-
and dirtying themselves so dreadfullyP
Part of the gameP Humph! Probably,
but hardly explanatory. Hooray!
First genuine cheer of the afternoon.
Good hit, that; what, at cricket, we
should call ''swipe to the boundary"
for-how many. four to six, is it? Ehi
What? Game altogether only five to
two? Oh! dash it all, that's too draggy.
Worse than Section at the wickets.
Humph! Slow again. And, by Jove,
half the spectators have ''mizzled,"
like the rain. Think | shall do like
wise, for Pm cold as ice. can't see any,
thing but muddle and mist, and don't
feel to care much for seeing anything
more. Eli? Games at an end? Well,
well-and who's wonP Don't knowP
Neither do Nor care. Smart fell
lows, quick as cats, and straight
as catapults. Should think they'd
make splendid .'felds," rafting
'throws in" and snperb ''catches"-at
cricket. But their skill all seems
chucked away at this game. More
scientific than cricket" Bosh! Like
ly to be popular in this countryP"
Walker! Fancy a grown-up FOUNDERS,
with a few hits and scarcely any score,
superseding willow and stumps! Don't
understand this game? Well, no, l
dare say not, and up to now, somehow,
/ dom seem to want to.