Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-06-27
A CUCUMBER DREAM.

ACUCUMBER DREAM.
Astonishing Adventures of Night that Grew
Out the Eating of the Verdant Fruit.
Chicago Journal.
As the green cucumber season is now
at hand and complaints of aches and
pains are beginning to be heard which
bring back the days when as festive
"kIds" we ate the verdant cucumber, the
deadly green apple and other uncanpy
products, 1t may not be out of place to
relate an experience which l had in my
youthful days. [ lived in an Indiana
town, and like many boys had penchent
for gaining possession of green fruits.
A boy named Bill GRATIS vas my con-
slant companion, AID an old farmer,
whom we called cold Davis" generally
was our victim.
One Sunday night Bill and I sneaked
into old Davis orchard and filled our
selves and Our pockets with green fruit,
and were about to make our escape, when
old Davis appeared on the scene and
gave chase. We ran for dear life nearl!
half mile and when we out winded the
old man and stopped l began to feel
sysmptoms of collie, and concluded to 60
L
and around for some time, but finally
went to sleep and commenced to dream,
and lay'in torture of all descriptions for
some time. Finally imagined that 1
was a locomotive and was drawing a pas
senger train. Bill was running me, while
"Old Davis" was firing. looked at the
steam gauge to see about what pressure I
was earring, and to my horror discovered
that had on 400 pounds pressure, and
still ''Old Davis" was firing with all his
might. I expostulated with him, but he
replied that he had run me about a half
mile that evening at a prstty good jog,
and Mas just firing me up to see how fast
I could go. 1 was momentati expect
ing to blow to pieces, and was in horr= BILE
agony when 1 looked ahead and saw q
rail had been removed from the track.
In moment I struck the ties
and rolled completely over, smashing old
DaAis. All was blank for some time,
but I finally recovered and found myself
in the hands of two policeman who accus
id me of removing the rail and causing
the wreck. protested that 1 was limo
cent, but they replied that my excuses
were too thin, and took me to the..statlon,
where as soon as I was put into cell l
was seized with desire to end my mis-
cry by suicide. 1 spent a considerable
time in devising some means of execu-
ton, and finally concluded to hang myself
with the single suspender which l wore.
The bars of the window afforded good
facilities for hapging and | soon had the
suspender tied at the top and around my
neck. Then / raised my feet off the floor
and the strangling process commenced.
AS the knot was at the baok of my neck,
my face was thrown against the bars,
and when was nearly out of breath
grasped and ran my tongue out in the
hope of getting little fresh air. Then
| awoke, and found myself lying on my
face on the wire spring of the bed, with
the mattress on top of me and sheet
twisted tightly about by neck. I vas all
right in the morning, but never stole
any more of old Davis apples.
An Angels Touch,
One evening, not long ago, a little girl
of nine Or ten entered place in which
are bakery, grocery, and saloon in one,
and asked for five cents worth of tea.
| "How's you motherf" asked the boy who
came forward to wait on her. "Awful
sick, and amt had anything to eat all
day" The boy WAS just then called to
wait upon some men who entered the
saloon, and the girl sat down. In five
minute she was nodding, and in seven she
was sound asleep and leaning her head On
barrel, while she held the poor old
nickel in tight grip between her thumb
| and finger.
One of the men saw her as he came to
the bar, and after asking who she was,
said: "Say, you drunkards, see here.
Here we've been pouring down whiskey
when this poor child and her mother
want bread. Here's dollar bill that says
I've got some feeling left" "And I can
add dollar" observed one. "And I'll
give another" They made up a purse
of an even five dollars, and the spokes
mao carefully put the bill between two of
the sleeper's fingers, drew the nickle away
and wins pered to his comrades: "Jist
look there-the gals dreamingm So
she was. A big tear had rolled out from
her closed eyelid, but her face was cover
ed with smile.
The men tiptoed out, and the clerk
walked over and touched the sleeping
child. She awoke with laugh, and cried
out: "What a beautiful dream! Ma
wasn't sick any more, and we had lots to
eat and to wear, and my hand burns yet
where an angel touched i'll" When she
discovered that her nickel had been re-
placed by bill, dollar of which loaded
her down with all she could carry, she
innocently said: "Well, now, but ma
won't hardly believe that you sent up to
heaven and got an angel TO come down to
be crerk In your grooery."-San Fran
cisco n ews Letter.