davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
s.e|-,f "a a z
Eavorito% nalbesIakF

suppose on an average, for q week OF
a. month, / shave !asE t,lany, men as any
barber. in ST; Louis,'and yet by any of
the tests oe speed usually employed
would provo a>Blow ma,s, or ut best only
ordinary. But you will-notice am al
WAYS busy; customers wait for me while
other BARRIERS, in the shop arc idle. There
arc two reasons for tllis-tricl,s of the
trade. You will notice have the front
chair in The: shop; that is, am nearest
the street door. M'these busy times men
'begrudse even tho tino they have TO
spend in idleness while being shaved,
:and they vial want to SEQ what,+i il going
Eon and WIG. iaspassing- Il frequently
have customers jump from the chair
half shaved and rush quit on the street
,,nd drag In {. friend, 81: II map they Won't
TO SEQ on important business. Another
trick of tho trade employ is simply to
wipe every mans face perfectly dry.
Nine BARRIERS out Of ten, after shaving
man, go over his face in n mechanical
sort Of way with II towel, leaving the
corners of his mouth, under the mus
tachc, tho eyes and the ears wet. l
never do this, and the consequence is
that my customers come back, and many
of them wait for me, eYeilat the expense
| OF loss of. time. confident that they will
feel comfortable when they leave my
/ chair. Barber in Globe-Democrat. Z;
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
Nv fIlIIiI''E.l q slITIFItI =. Z
, .t'OUT. FOR THE ,STUFE.".
The Boys in the Third Louisiana" Bis
l. trict Looking Fer n Doodle COaI- |
,n!fth gives sional Candidate 10 II /!
Especial to Courier-Journall.

II .t,,[Special to Courier-Journalla.lh
WASHINGTON, june 12.-Tae Third
.Loulstana district, recently made va
cant I'm Congress blythe steathiott;Mr.
CAV; IL said TO ibs the most expensive
district to carry in the State. Every
slime Gay won his election II cost hiSn
a. smell; fortune. He always received
from i 500 to 5000 majority, but 1t cost
him big money. The 'eoiorsd voters
of the district have ial good msjorit y
10 yer the white voters, bat ihey are a
cat for the stuff, aud rs. u specaats stac-
tion h soou to, take place. both sifsss
are bunting for a. candidate who is
willing to put up money enough tta
via. The Democrstse ars urging the
stspson of Nc. Gay TO make Abe race.
He IL pushiug young man and ne
u,ssessed. Of a handsome asfortnnei' He
has no, political .. ambition, however,
and the latest .advtces ara TO the fhscs
that he does not propose Ito distribute
$50 600 around in the district for Il seat
lin Congress. The Republicans, know
ine, that Nc. Man, Pitt kellogg, 'oi
Washington, who Wssonce a rtaiden'
of the district, had, made a. aopl tniliiun
IN, the last six yeassy speGn%attne".ln
!SVashington real, estate, - have 'heen
urging him to scatter Slo0,00ON among
the scolored - men ausi t'tsponr,i Avhise
.trash,,Pe and he will certainly hs elect
iedt Mr. kellogg also declined to go
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
I!n|,. | E|E|EI7 1||!!!lY|||||E|1
r Burdette.'

eyes, madame, ssal Tram eliae !.
as he gratefully took from the out
stretched: hand; Dc tass' i.'wqtISat ID laige,
moist slab of pie, mottt like Mexican
onyx, and embossed with heavy iner''s'
stations OF lava, ..yes ,I-haVe seen bat
tss,ases III a saas;1 Iss sm tfa
ipa,rsetf for her reply, bntsh bnwett
her head silently, and he, engultiing
the pie with a convalsive movement
of the.sthrostie, lifted hands to
heaven with an agonizFng gesture, and
passlng-pn;iWas neveI: again seen &c
more. -. .. -
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

y
s5n01J sO.ni City Item: astuaeie derry
,iRusk ,,s'whS holds the honor OF being
s'lhs idsst Secretary or Agriculture, was wa
drawn into dispute At q regent Cabt-
!, net session, which was closed by =
iAstbohspoha.s from Premier Biaine.
sseAsi subn dis Bialne fnIshed,s Rusk
sisSksd alound the table with q somical
SWink!esin bis: eyes, aud said I: "lrs
] all vigLt sorsyeu to say j. don't know
'anS thing about this affair. 1 know as
xsif Vi you. DO that TIN the tall Of this
cabinet, bGiii'.-isnd he looked right
etrAight atstlse Rfesiden.---tunless all
she slgns fall, the tail'li be kept right
!. husyashis summer keeplng the ales OF
ishb rsss Of che adWinlstrations" Then
the laugh was not on Rusk. .a :
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

$ Shreveport Times Sam Jones said
'fn,ofe of his ,Danville sermons, apeak-
tag tot: how a tnau ought to love his
wis ,....i.'ir'tf. "''''',.'.-'. E' i.'.. .
~ AGrhere are wives in this town who
are Unbeatable, not because their 'hns-
bands don't love them, hut because
they don't tell them so. Tell your
Nv tfe every day that she Is the sweetest,
best ard preitiest woman in town.
Lots Ut YOU will have to tell lie, but
it Is pardouabie lie. A man who
stops caurting his wife as soon as he is
msrre,i Is a 'ha i'd case, or his wife is u
bad egg.'' ''' 49, "''.. ed '..' boo
/. Zach slang tphta asses from Sam Jones
May sound MI right but would he con-
ei.,,N ned Ut INDUCED In by newspaper
writers, lawyers of men not engaged
b in religious work. These tiips do not
carry conviction aud are only toier-
ated, because, per hap-, they are uttered
ygau evhugelsf. H''. ..'' '.'..
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
s3zgy,F.ssas1st'ygsSsz.; Dz II
IWashi.tsto,I Post. I

IWashE9G l.?HtE EOS" s -
Boston mothers wouldn't let their
fair daughters witness the. Harvard
boat races this year, because the CO.'S
tunes otyhe sars,nen were too decol-
Is,te. The :! boys year nothing but
trunks, bare skins add blisters, and
the mammas didn't think the girls
could stand so much exposure. 1t was
unreasonable, ydu ses. Rte pail rom
season is over and Bar Harbor and sea
bathing are net yet IL order. - ~.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

!: = - = I W.T. !!
We desire to say to our cit:z 'us7 that
for years sYe' ikaye tbeep, seHipE :Dr:
Kings New D.sceyerY, fer 'Espssnnp-;
tion. DIR. Kings Now Life Pills,
Buck lens. AfnicF -Sayg/an't Electric
Bi,tefs, and nave never handled rem
edies that sell as.,WeB,. or that have
given such. nniNaissl satisfaction. We
do not hesitate To- guarantee them every
time, aud WygsMnq EsadyFe refund tEe
purchase pAtes ~ .satisfactSry results
do not follow rAstr dsp! = These RENE
dies have won their great popularity
pure,ysDl.lheir MsiTTits. -.
A. k.Shnia uruggista.a- 4.;;;-,s. :: -, -
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

"Estiug Strawberries" and '"oveij"y
at his appointment" as POSTMASTER
have combined TO cause the death of a
Portsmouth, n. H., man. Thus, says
the Philadelphia Record, would every
true AmericshN citizen \sdie-with a
commission in his hand and straw
berry in his mouth. sasttt .fat,s.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
He Will Change His Tune.
= fbetroit Fee Pres 81

I: i? / \ tbetroit .Ftes rre*sII; = H..
"Auy man who aecunulate5 over
$40, 900 should be made to divide" said
Charles Spachs,a Milwaukee, socialist,
a few weeks ago. The other day he
got a legacy of SIG 600 from Belgium,
and we ttdst!thhe the strong arm
OF the law will step i'll aud take $4,000
OF it Htd divide il among the pour.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
Questions,

-I''i!r.NEt 7 V''TTH'0!GF' 40, It!i"I.!
1. How wide is the: eqnatar ?ai2"j
2. Can a person reach the North
Pole by, travelling N. va. ! s:-.,:.t.;t! =
8. The difference. in; time between
two places is one minnie; what ,is ,thIe
difference. in longit ude,?s f.,4,e.'l,1,..
a., Two persons. are travelling NORTH
tocaffl each other; how ia this ?3ar
IS. The news Ola morning fire. 10
New York reaches. San, Ffa nGisco be
fore daylight. Explain; ,si: :,i.''!
"a, 6. At: what point of the ,globe -
there no latitude OF longitude,p,. $50
Z. AT, what, tine OF. the year. lis. the
equator; nearest the North Pple?T,PFo
grfssiue Teacher. Il. as ,tgr,I -r~ -.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
When Home Is Not "a Heaven.

lIawrsuce American,l :: a.,
IA 4hst CD jfaapry tdfns. nat 1,ooo, 600.
d, aiohes J per diem )! and ynu lean buy a.
thousand for one cent, but you cannot
find match in the middle OF the nieh'
any more easily than 1T the lilt'e
things cost a, dollar spiere. 7,.;s2ssyf
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
An 0sjeef iHxNeW:
rBe,tou Texas journal

IBeltou (Texas) Jeurnall
- a. Tennessee edltor suggests: sths'
Gebrges Hsashtn9tp conld nave been
crowned kiug nadine So sdeshed! Not
much. Thomas Jefferson WAS on hand
at that particular tune, and he didn't
write. the declaration OF independence
for mere pastime.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
I'hrer Siruiticant Facls.

Why you should, nse. DIR. Menden-
ihau's. Aguc turci First. Ii is purely rege-
table and perfectly harmless. second, IL Is
pheasant to take and will agree with the
NEST delicate person. Third, 1t costs but
30 cents a bottle and is guaranteed to cure
equal to any dollar medicine. .
Sold by Battle n Brewer. '
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
= .zEDJcATpsAb.
Hy MISS OLIVE BUSsKrSSHAn
limo on I. acki.s spaiili6sixi::


The ear, the eye and the hand are
in writing u word. II we
wish to- educate: prpits y. To write Eng
lisa words CORRECTLY, neatly md flu
emily, we must train the, eye, the ear
aud tile hand. IT must be- Remembered
that letters are representatives Of ar
tlcuIate sounds. Then We must accus
Tom THE; ear 70 anslysisept the :: artitu-
late sounds I: VIII ici,; lnsks:; up aswnrd.
This can be done nost' etfectusiiy by
practice in oral spelling. Impressions
received in the miad through the u1e>
dtnm of sound are unt,suaily. Siyid:and
lasttDg..:J i.;}?fia:.:.s si:s!-;;'f s;,:ia:ss
!. Let lus take another: view Of the ilpht-
ter. l.. ri .;i.. s,@se-'- -; ,s.x,s
FIst-A knowledge: Of. spelling is
useful to US in speaking: lt,enables
/ US to analyze the: sounds :0fi- WHICH a
/ word is composed, and, thus. Up a guide
10 correct pronuncistioD,..,:s.s. ~, is"
Second--We use cur knowledge OF
spelling IN rsading..: 10 this CASA the
letters address the: eye a.: well ~ the
ear. The shape OF the word must be
familiar TO US in order 10 enahss, n5lto
! read huently. . ...si.t;t...: ::f..,s;.j,, =
Il Third-The mos, severe test. Of aecu-
racy 10 spelling :lS applied: when, we
wish 10 write a: word. Then. pupils
must be trained TO recall the: word ias
ii appears 10 the eye, and tn, associate
this simultaneously with the Analysis
of its articulate SQUADS: ;gsa.si ;.ua
The written RECITATION, addresses he
eve fhruuvh which. medium the In0s
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
MEEgIN2, 0E.THE N0RTR LOUISIANA
y RlCDLTURAL; SOCIEtY j,gir

,iI:&rit;s:S I:,y!iiI,@-l-li Hs;ii"it;u 'sp , |
l.glo b,OAluotN, ia u Jans 99, 1850! y
. The nhhastipg pt'thsi N6tth L h1stana
A,gileuitar s9ctety Il tbss .1
Station, ,IIharsAAy, .. jane "A, ~ promises;
to- bs lionel of the most, /, Interesting and /
destructive to farmers yet held. AZ es9' Il
s.:Messls. Max ven, pf,'Madiyooy;"s Sob
iet,t, 81 oaschiis,, aud Juds Graham,
Vt; Ltpcolp,. are the speaker appotnted
Ito discuss ntba question:: 1.-THE Use Of
Improved Agricultural 'Impiemehfs.' |,
Judge McEasry is tnvlted also q; SsPiiesask
on any subject etl his hs oswp', salsAtllop. :
a, Many polnts ,.,will Il doubtless! be
,brauvht ont In the etisctsslehs,'th at
W,lilmtytest nut ,defs ltand' encourage
ihsftnn,. t, ,,' nors geRsisll nss k.l inf .
proved farm implemspts7i ha .iatelII j.
gent operation OF which. he'ps,' largely
tow AVID an i economic and Intensive
,s.om .siIE,!
Favorable responses from, dealers, in
farm ,implements warrant the :beaiei
that q splendid exhibit will ben lnade.
Sufficient teams viii be ON the GROUNDS
| 10 MAX 8 trial tests Of the fhPiepents
thus g!Y!ng farmers the appqr!pqi'yr q
witnessing their woEks unA iir~ "en
i, The growing crops; corn; cottod etc.
are now snficlently advattced to stow
the comparative values Of diidsteat feF
IA ..
tilizers applied 10 the same and differ,
(eut crops in variable quantities. AND
propottions.' Take itsll 30 all the! Gisy
is expected to place at t6s' disposal q
The farmer such Information A. NIP
be ri great, practical heneht to hin iE
Ibis future efforts. Lst there b. ABDUL
Injecting. INVESTORS are requested I,
bring lunches ''' SlI""-;J! e. IEE;;"'
r. - ', :' ~ ~ '''' Assistant Director,
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

AT. Bustonll Hsrald.l:nSenatOr Joseph
rBrown oaef Georgia. II seems, has an
'1lResgs nom which ne is not expeetted
kSr rssePer. lMe. yis one, 81 the giehsst
e,,naa out the San.h,l, aud the richest
u Demucsat lid the Senate. 1t Is q ceinci-
ydaHce 1kat che fichest man that it HAD
.fiomxI ghsssi same sestio,, ii ii, the House,
GaX, III, I.oaisiapa, has died. Both
sAxe suppnsed 70 he worth some millions
.,>reAlo, .use nsaa,trsu tstaA0gae 'iati.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

" Interest In the Fair Association y
r,heglanipg, to- dag. We, regard tthts
enterprise as the MOST lin portaut 'ato
,M9nfos tihst vs.; have yet unlsrtsken
and and 70 allow 1t. TO die would be q
I, severs. blow TO- our progressive move
,,rnsritt INV do NOT see hnw' our pro-
yKfeshive men" who hhvS 'idsntitieti
, s eipsIyas"%ith the " tei! u s1I Ga
!, afford to allow It ,tp. do SO. asa, ai!i |
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
re Mss AssocIAIloN. 81
|Isss,s;.; .| -! ss,,s e; 3, Es.h|

.l{E ardnSsed ~ F{H6l peopi4 Of Nom
Z. ...s . .ood ~ ,sea.l,t that endorse
nent l. abou, all the association has
received 80 far. Good ,hinssyesp
ka had IN that way. II our. peoplel
ws :, 70 h;,iId nm their town they must
~, 49, ~ .hai5 money, IA
= IL the first place !. fair association
would .,,l DO mora , Than soy s other one
+h,.o - adxsnce Monroe aud at ths-1
s.os time develop the oaachita W4i]
lev 1twoSId ;aiif recily benefit Mon.oe;
Is sn { i6ddcsihieHt "a saitttet ,ylsi.os4
harei VINO ;,a wioau,d 5eaaantT,bni annually
as,.a, ts,n.aneaz TO ,cue eoa} tsads
[n.;s,., c,.,.. ,,esfamaan.vs III r,sr rvkbpss..
ana 70. livery Stables av;,giidia detavy asiass
dirasdt. bengnt,, Al vS0an I ii .nsaJ every
nthar, local sntsSpaiae. aa;n,wsI u: ID
~ n; tho. ne1 4 nlecs, AI,s,,sxhibid eiIt9f
lan.,.ssr,ss and aSrodl,e<s nj arts zTO H. a.
EsKea3.6tt lsiiroaii8adsfsHaRR particles 9#A6qM
ISI.... ss1sI, :s.nNyJ Ia 2:.t.iIJ- ,s9.uniG3
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
.Ono;of Those Days.

:, . Ys;a.l.! IN, Or Picaynne.l r,, e. .!...3t.
j. The Columbus, Ga, Enquirer argues
that, our Southern cotton has Increased
in ,yalneyau average, of threefold, by
being spunapt woyen- Surprising that
AhSt Southern. .c0tton, crop is worth In
ttbvraw staple $500, OO0; 600, 1t would be
w0Iah, $1,000, QOD, 900 !to.; II, zoe, QDO, 900
when; made into the, various fabrics for
hi4h IL is used. .,i,&r,i n ,...los.'s
y. But while. peg haps, the. $500 ,OOO, 600
re.disbursed: among the Southern peo-
pla the pl her 4 7o9,Do0, 900 or 5000, DOC, 900
I'll 70 to- Nprthern!apd, foreign laborers
and mauutaclursrs..i In like manner
SCOUT ern, crude pig iron is sent North
TO be mauufactQred, and the Southern
hides anil wool are sent away TO- be
male into various fabrics and brought
lback for, our consumption. t,..
/ Thus il is that the Southern people
Iars The ,hewers OF, wood and the draw.
fars, Of water fnr the rest Of the world.
|, we ,bave the richest stores of raw ma
ltetisi on The planet, but we only give
1t the rough work sufficient to fit 1t for
:the various elaborate processes Of mans
(ufacture by, strangers. Every turn OF
D wheel 81, additipnal manipulation OK
pended on our raw material increases
Ills value by. so much, but, apparently,
we are contented 10 get q small price
for our rude share Of the labor aud per
1'hit strangers to reap the benefit Of the
ftohb.eti AID trebieu values which are
fcohi thuhtcsted III the process of manu-
Eiaqe.' 1--WE will learn these things one
81 those days for which we are Away:
fhnnTGhp'H ia ,h'-''&"'h y. ''' 80 - I
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

,l'ig XIV, rSsYiaey i$9 Yteksbalissss' new hs,'s'
have been. accepted, ItwiA he, q Aye
~a.ANrys Ramasqae, building . with an oc-
,u,tAeohal a4ower.i 1870 fleet high at:thee
sahbftheasi' corner, tie height or The
-,.bHiSatSg propef being 100 feet, 8, i YIN
-, cost, copRletsd and iuEpished $llQ, QOG
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

MILK Shakes. at Bailie & Brewer
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

orSlrsYeQort Times 81 The iTiMes's IS
-eiRease6l ita note ,tjlSsi couttnu sd fand'snbss
yIa,aa,iar sudiea,ioGso prosperity of the
saSladt,iSt,s 0wa 81 Y !Is osaasfhlis, whose
,sss,iII,zsaanss are wideirawake, 'rhesp',ah'e'
.arapferRrAsiae II and . tlesssvsreihs'" fullest
-1sshaccass.sIi ,.:.aani,s ,aai4.a ,'i'i'2"i
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

The judiciary -systen Of Louisiana Iis
az to thesrlpdiaApfc ircsbt jndgcs just
that much too-expensiye. In addition
10 ,hIs there zrsH ssssvtisfa1 district judges
.c,,h.AAaa1Nifs, 4 toe l Oyisisl
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

bs,Isi The snamAtusl Of Gen. Shvler, the first
-uskovefabt SfvTehneesse,; x wh,ct have
tSr s1yfa3y;stEhl Years ta Alaipfa-
81" ma, were rsinierred in .KRp4yills on
Ietbs,49t4.l Tennessee, was tsEdy .in' ts + !;
-Astnf ~ hsr ttesdm her sturdy old ~atri,
nsSAL t.lssIn :e,ie:snh, iat'!e !. ia "''f =
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
AriZONn kICkGr.

Oar contemporary down tie Street
Is taklea atTostS to se isst TIL s6' cause
asalvx of thSspYa, any betaass9 as it:
;y vi gle sys .s5is|St e sa Sc
at. We were theJt1es. aans by stong
odds among the twenty applicants, ana
idG't see iflhe fau t
is not oursio:: N!e'expectei!toh getis@the
S III III aid sktk sME|aa5 %
We KiaE ef d5ssu' maze Il lis ifs MIS-
cradle for the next yaad beil sse tsioh I
swantta cent.s>Aa .fsE,opx Old knock
kneed, bald headed, sqa,nt-eyed con-
temporary, who wears grin on Dis
phiz, we will SEP MWssslesG:7We are
fishing to get hStdS Ahelcta.ta MOTT
gage given on ifs office three months
ago, aud if we succeed me; Twill" Hear
E ;G%s,1I'ssE oiae;; IL axEs5z:ss
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

INTO The 80 q gNt disiribution, schemcss
r enayst he Jas had qulG espugh1
81 litic4 Minis life, and5prelsfs to|
tad hk ease an# comfort i'll hiss lovely
- (bfs NNlaazS(Villard 10 smuggling In
mixing with the maddening crowd of
money suckers. On the whole 1t looks
ltke the boys Of the Third Louisiann
vefa not going tei have such
picnic IS they hive been SO fondly ans
FfIcIf;avlng: THEIR only chance ia for
Nipr Canlpbel,; i0fi New York, to: raise
q. big purse and go there and make the
racs on bis Well-kuOwn :CODgressional
merits. Besides Tim has the tatlvan-
lta9e OIL being we'll acquainted With
l.p}spi xtion; A,anpeys,.Ih ;.,t5;,tsaf'.ll. ..
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22

Z k'sfsS,.v7s W 2 49, ~ = =. :. :, :
il Tanner has got tha,R Deip|
lne1n hhdsosderxhd M3resl9
8, es,,idspiaasa';; a # III
'AAS alfsiaX&dpsn ors, RIB
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-06-22
Merit Wins..,xa

!: !: = i A- VIII
Connecticut western news., 1889-08-28
A Swindled Ennigrant.

An old German peasant arrived at Castle Garden one day last week whose experience is an example of how for eigners are duped by tales of Ameri- gan wealth. He had been told by an emigration agent that gold was so plen- ty in this country that the people gave golden trinkets to the children to play with, and trimmed the carriages, build ings and street lamps with golden or- naments. He accordingly sold his lit tie place, and after buying ticket for New York, spent the remainder of his money, with the exception of few francs, in giving his neighbors ban quet. On his arrival here he had just seven francs left. The old man was deplorably ignorant, but when it dawned on his mind how he had been duped, he wept like child. He will be sent back.
Connecticut western news., 1889-08-28
The Course He Would take.

My friend," earnestly exclaimed the temperance lecturer, pointing long quivering forefinger straight at the covering figure of man on the back seat, "what will you do when you come to the end of your career and find honor, hope, friends, home, and all that makes life valuable, and the future cheering, lost-all lost!"
 "Lost?" echoed MT Rambo, dimly conscious that question had been ad- dressed to him, ''b' George, I'd (hic) advertizhe !"-Chicago Tribune.
Connecticut western news., 1889-08-28
His Little Family.

"Do you get all the work you can do?" asked gentleman of negro whom he had hired to do some out door jobs for him.
 '' Yes, sah, bout all; en needs hit to keep my family a-goin', sah."
 "How much of family have you?' f We'll, femme see: Oars me en my ole woman, dat's two; en Lizy en Marthy, en Berthena ell Andy en Sid mey en Jimmy en Billy en Sally en Minty, dat's nine single ones; en dep dar's de twins, Ad'narem en Eb'nezer -'leben in all. Yo' see dats quite a considerable few, sah."
 The gentleman thought it was.- Youths Companion.
Connecticut western news., 1889-08-28
HUMOROUS.

The police and tramps fraternize because both are on the beat.
 Very few persons can hold their own on their first sea voyage.
 When the cats away, the cook finds it difficult to explain how the cold meat goes.
 Employer to clerk: "Don't know the mans address? Well, write to him and find out"
 One of the most dangerous and de- moralizing of all drinks is this beverage that is known as 'tSame."
 A Philadelphia bootblack meets the russet shoe fad half way with tie sign, :'Boots blacked yellow"
 Mrs. Jones: "Don't trouble to see me to the door, Mrs. Smith. "No trouble-quite pleasure, l assure you." Ez.r.
 Macbeth was evidently politician with "barrel," for he acknowledged that he "bought golden opinion from all sorts of people,"
 "What can do," asked she, ''to make my lover stick to his promisesr 'sI don't know, dear" said her play full adviser, "unless you try court plaster" ..
 ''Mamma," said the little girl, "you | know tho story in our reader about the king who never smiled again?" "Yes, dear" "Well, does that mean that he signed the pledge?'
 He was all right. Lady (horscs running away): "Dear, dear, what will become of me?" New Coachman, grimly; "Madam, it depends on your past life. I'm all right"
 Father: "Willie, where have you bccn?" Willie, the hopeful: "Up- stairs, putting pepper in Uncle Rastus's shoes." s'I am surprised, Willie! 1 thought you was above doing mean act" ssSo I was, sir"
 MT. Highup Cat breakfasD: "Any- thing new in the paper?' Mrs. High up (who has had a monopoly of the morning paper for half an hour): "Yes, Hard, Cash < Go. are selling Surah silks at half off,"
 "I bless Eve for eating that apple," said young lady the other day, as she stood before the mirror. "Whyw asked companion. "Because there is such a delight ill trying on a new dress when it fits we'll"
 The reason, Bessie: "I met Miss Shapely out shopping to-day, and I never before realized what Q loud voice she has," Jennie; "But you must remember, my dear, that she was asking for pair of No. ? shoes"
 "You say that cognac is the best remedy for collie? But I find it just the other way. My husband used to be troubled very seldom, but since I have kept cognac in the house he com plains of collie almost every day"
 Dr. Grimshaw: "Don't you know, young man, that it's very injurious to blow cigarette smoke down your nose in that way?" MT. De Addle: els it? I know it's vewy disagreeable, and I hate to do it, but all the other fel- lows do it, doncher know"