davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
Marehouses nnd Mharyes pe.troy ed


NoRwALK, Conn, May 23.-The pas
senger station, freighthouses and immense
wharves OF the Housatonic Railroad at
Wilson's Point were burned early this
morning aud the loss will be about $780,
600. At 3 o'clock, while stovedores were
loading the steamer Leievrc for New York,
n lantern was overturned on bale OF jute
and the flames spread so rapidly that the
workmen were obliged to flee for their
lives. In less than five minutes the main
freighthouse was on fire at every point,
and the flames spread to the passenger
station adjoining The fierce northerly
gale which prevailed drove the flames
through the station and forty-cight freight
cars with their contents were soon blazing
iiercely. An engine and flat car were sent
TO Norwalk from South Norwalk, but when
the steamer arrived every building was
level with the dock and the flames were
devouring the dock timbers at an aston
ishing rate. The New England Terminal
Company's big steamer Cape Charles was
moored ut the dock and WIS in great peril
for awhile, but the cables were cut and she
driited slowly out of danger. The le-
ievre had steam up and made good her rs.
cape without injury. The loss TO the
lousaionic Railroad Company is very
serious, Us absolutely nothing was saved
but the floating dock, which had not yet
been used The company had spent many
thousands OF dollars Mt Wilson's Point, and
was doing a large freight business there.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

In 1913 contracted bloodpoison, which
soon developed into its stycrcst secondary
form. with boichcs aud ugly sores all over
my body, which totally disabled me for
more than n year The doctors treated
me nll the time without benefit. The dis
ease steadily growing worse and worse, !
was unable 10 work for more than year.
finally WIS persuaded TO take SwiltB
Specific. After taking seven bottles ! was
sound and well, and have not felt symp.
tom Of the disease since. This was sixteen
wears AGO. JoE WAGONS.
Forsyth, Ca, January -, 1850
have taken Swiit's Specific for second
airy blood poison, aud derived great bcne-
iit. IL acts much better than potash. or
any other remedy that have ever used.
Il. 4. WINCFiLlp, VI. d.,
Richmond, Va.
Troals, on blood and skin diseases
mailed Tree. Tue SWIFT SPECIFIC Co,
Drawer 2. Atlanta, Ga.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

NORFOLK, Va, May 3-The residence
Of the Rev. F. c. Clarke, near Virginia
Beach, in Princess Anne County, was
burned last night at about - o'clock. lie,
his two daughters and next to his eldest
son and niece visiting him, were con-
sumed by the flames. His wife, Miss
Ella Bidgood, the governess, and two
young children, escaped. The origin OF
the fire is unknown, though it is thought
to have been the work OF an incendiary.
Mr.. Clarke was pastor of the London
Bridge Baptist Church, and was a preacher
OF note.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

BELvIDEEr, ILL.,, May -. Quite heavy
frost visited this vicinity yesterday morn
ing. Corn aud garden stuff were not al
icctcd, but Il is feared that considerable
damage has been done TO the strawberry
crop. Berry raising has become quite an
industry throughout the northern pat Of
the State during late years aud q frost at
this time will cause heavy loss.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
A. on, lad, AN. IIer.eiL.

CiycixxAr. o., May 2J.-MtS Anna
wiruicnor. a widow aged lightweight, an
inmate Of the House OF tho Little Sisters
of the roor. was found dead beneath her
window this morning, where she had
either thrown herself or had fallen dis
lance o. twenty feet Sho had shown
sgns OF Insanity for several days.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

Whether on pleasure bent or business,
should take on every trip bottle Of Syrup
Of Figs, ~ Il acts most plcasantlyand elect
ually on the kidneys, liver and bowels
preventing icycD, headaches, and other
forms Of sickness. FOR sale In 80 cent and
81 bottles by all Leaking druggists.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
Ii,n AnInnn. CIn.r,i.

MiSNEAroLis, Mimi, May 23.-Tho
Journals West Superior. Wis. special
says Tic Mayor has closed all the saloons
~ the city IN anticipation Of trouble be-
tween the striking coal heavens and the
new men imported 10 take their placcA
Tho new men MO working under a stong
police protection.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
$1,000 CLOTHING SALE.
MENKEN's CLEARING SALE
mEN's AND BOYs' CLOTHING.
Today and Tomorrow.

Every Mans Suit in the house, whether
worth $1,000, $500 or more, goes today
for $1,000. None worth less than $1,000;
the great bulk worth $50. 90 to $4,000.
We will carry no Clothing from one sea-
son to another-all must be sold. You
can find spring, fall and summer Clothing
in this lot, in fact our
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
READ ON To TIE END.

As many thousand people will throng
our emporium today, we have determined
TO make the sale OF universal interest,
therefore offer the following astounding
bargains
FoR Be- 4 IARD-plain lace striped white
Lawn and colorcd plaid Lawn, really worth
l2lc aud ljc, all at white goods counter.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
Creamery nurnrd In.

CEDAR RAPIDS, Ia, May %. clifford *
Sermons boo, and shoe mandatory and
Mower * Co.'S wholesale creamery sup.
plies establishment were destroyed 10y fire
this morning. Loss. $4,000; insurance,
$1,000.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
SALE TODAY AND TOMORROW.
Friday and saturday.
ABOUT BOYs' SUITS.

Every Knee Pants Suit in the house,
none worth less than 500, the greater
number worth $1,000 and $1,000, consist
ing OF the finest all.wool cassimeres, cork
screws and cheviots entire stock
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

Axaos1rnA DiIrEns, the world renowned
appetizer aud inyigomtor. Used now over
ib vboicci,ilizcl world Try IT, bat beware
~ limitations Ash for the genuine art Gle,
Manufactured by Dr. J. g. u. siegcri 4 Sons.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
Rear This I'm Mind Always.

Should you feel dissatisfied after buying,
bring the suits back and you can get your
money any time within three days after
purchase.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

srurSoru 10 vigorously push n business,
strength 10 study for a profession strength
20 regulate a household. strength 10 do n
days labor without physical pain. 10 you
desire strength II you are broken down,
have 40 energy. feel rs u life whs hardly
worth living you can be relieved and ~.
stored 10 robust health and strength by tax.
ing Browns Iron Dittcrs, q sure cure for
dyspepsia, malaria weakness aud oil diseases
rcotiifinga true, reliable tonic. u acts on
the blood, nerves and muscles, aud regulates
every part Of tho system.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

We do this so all may feel that they are
perfectly safe. 1t is our interest to give
you the correct thing, and giving it to
you at first saves after trouble.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
Entire stock of over $50, 900. 90,

Consisting OF Scotch tweeds, cheviots, all
wool cassimeres, corkscrews-plaid, plain,
striped and mixtures.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
stop nj the Lace Connier.

Al the accumula,ions Of odds and
ends Of l.aces. Ribbons aud EmbroilcriCs
since March, will be placed on counters
today and sold Tor a song look nj them.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

, DoN'r Worry about iar-olr thing, when
you can 70 To Mcnken's today aud be
happy over the thousand bargains.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

Ixsuar your no In the Connecticut Mt
tual r. II. Galbrra,h, agent, ~ Madison
street.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
AZ SAYS u suit To-day.

II will pay every gentleman TO buy even
for future use at these prices. 1t will pay
every parent and guardian To lay in sup
ply for the boys at these prices. Remcm-
Der, the sale will be held
Today Rni Tomorrow Only.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
FIVE PEOPLE BURNED.
A FATAL FIRE NEAR VIRGINIA
BEACH WEDNESDAY NIGHT.

The Rev. #. @. Clarke, His Two Daugh-
ters, Son and Niece Are Con-
sumed by Flames-Thought to be In
cendiary Work.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

100 dozen mons open back unlaundcrcd
shirts NJ soc.
80 dozen mems balbriggan socks at l7c
pair.
loo dozen Chidrcn's colorcd and black
cotton Hose ljc pair, sizes 10 Z. II we
had all sizes We would sell them at SOC q
pair
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
aI.noo nennr.I.

one thousand dollars will be paid To any
chemist who will tind on analysis u :. 5.
= lswif's Specific, one particle uf mcr-
curry, iodidc Of potash, or any poisonous
substance.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

LADIES, Tor 25c you can buy Hat worth
500 at b. layigne'A
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
InaIa suns Solid ninen aud white.

We will sell olay q special lot ll0picccs
only) Of black India silk worth Sl.2j, foe
Sc yard. Al our best
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

70 pieces grey. brown. plain, striped and
plaid goods at l0c n yard, real value zoe.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
You WILL APPLICABLE THIS.

Mems French calf shoes, hand scwcl
and hand wells. congress. lace aud button,
regular price 500, $3.50 aud $500,
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
The North Aisle Comforts.

5000 pieces good white Toilet Soap &c.
10000 strong Palm Fans only lo.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
Hats aud HonnctS sc.

5000 ladies' misses aud childron's straw
bonncts and hats-nonc worth less than
25c; the hulk worth SOC, 7jc and 81; choice
today, DC.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

Jerseys wraps and ready made dresses
at a sacrifice. Special sale today at tempt
ing prices Of
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
Prepared Ammonia lie Bo,,is.

Large Bahama Carriage Sponges only
10 cents
Prepared Camphor &c, Pearl Dress But.
tons 3c.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

Figured India sIIIs. nj ~. 90.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24
Dbl Toscn UmbrelIa. onI, slih.

Ladies' Satccn Coaching-Parasols SOC.
Misses Satin Parasols only 25c.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

During this mammoth sale, which will
last today and tomorrow, May - aud %,
We would kindly ask our friends 10 help
us out by taking goods with them when
possible. We will, Of course, do our a..
most TO deliver all packages promptly.
even on this occasion.
TILEguANs AND NAIL ORDERS Tor these
special goods advertised Tor today aud 10.
morrow, unless received before o o'clock
tomorrow evening, will not be filed.
omen promptly this morning nj y
o'clock.
THE ]. 8. MENKEN COMPANY
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

corseis aud Muslin Underwear.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

T. II, Turlcy, of Turlcy & Wright
NJ. Gavin, OF NJ. Gavin Il Co.
]. n. Fails OF q. Falls a Co.
T. NJ. Nelson, OF Nelson a Rainc.
T. II. Sims, Of T. h. Sims X Co.
II, u, Wilkinson, of Dockcry, Wilkinson 4
Co.
]. NJ Goodhar. Of Goodhar & Co.
f. T. Anderson, Prcs't Anderson Hat Co.
Chas. kn'y.
W. II. Kcnncday Secretary Citi2c
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

ole was never heard from, and this
whole affair would never have been
thought Of had Il not been for finding the
money which the poor girl lief, on the
bank"
"Do you think that the girls family will
attempt to recover the money!
"Dcar me. mol They would not reveal
their identity for a hundred times rs
much"
"Do you think all the money has been
iound2n
81 can say that Il has not"
"llns hall Of Il been foundf
"les. more than hall"
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-24

THE ]. 8. MENKEN COMPANY
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
At A CHURCH FAIR,

"Oh, Mr.. Blank, you're tho very man
I'm looking for. You must take Mt least
ten chances in the drawing for tho crazy
quilt. It's only twenty five cents cllancc.
and"
ooh, Mr.. Blank, you must give me
fifteen cents and then guess how many
beans there are in this jar, and if YOU
guess"
"Thcrc, Mr.. Blank, isn't That lovely
little bouquet in your buttonholc2 Al
dollar, plcnac."
"Ahn, I've found you nj last, Mr..
Blank We're voting nn afghan to the
prctticst young lady here, and you must
put in at least twenty-five votes for Miss
I'rnssy. It's only ten cents vote
and" '
"Ah, Mr.. Blank, I just know you
want this smoking cap and jacket.
They're only twenty mine dollars, and,
"Now, MIR. Blank, you're not going
by my table without buying somethingi
Here's tue very pcn-wipcr you desire, and
it's only II dollar. There it is all done III,
nicely for you. What's this-a five dollar
billi Aha, you foolish mani We never
give nny change at this table. Ha, haj
ha!"
"Oh, but you must buy this cigar case,
Mr.. Blank, won't let you sny no. Hero
it is. Thcrel I've slipped it in your
ovcrcOat pocket. Four dollars, please. y,
ooh, you bad, naughty man to try to
go by my table when I've the very pair
of slippers you've been longing for all
these years. You're ever and ever so
wicked Wait until do the slippers UP
in this lovely tissue paper, and"
"Oh, Mr.. Blank, nave you seen Re-
becca at the we'll, and the gypsy fortune
tcllcr2 Come, and I'll take you TO them,
and"
"Stop, stop, Mr.. Blank, not a step
further until you've paid your quarter for
chance in the grab-bagr
"Why, Mr.. Blank, I'm SO glad ran
across you. want you to take six of
the lovcliest old ladies down stairs and
get them oysters and ice cream. Oh, you
shan't say no, just won't let you'll"
When Blank finally escapes by sneak
ing down cellar and out through tho
furnace room he walks three miles to his
boarding place, because he hasn't car
fare left out Of the fifty dollars he left
home with. h.-Drake's Magazines.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
AN ADOPTED BnoTnER.

"IIullo, Blnck!"
"IIullo, Whitcl"
"Yon'rc going to be brothcr-in law
of mine, hear"
"a brothcr-in lawH
eyes"
GLOW can that bc2 I'm not going to
enter into your family, as far as 1 know"
"You are going to marry Miss Brown,
amt you?"
az am"
"Wc.l, she's my sister"
"Yomr sistcr2"
eyes, she promised to be sister to
"rc, always, rs much rs three months
ago. ."-Bost0n Courier.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
HUMANITY TnIIIMrnANr.

81 would like To rent the large room
on the second floor of your livery stable
Tor the purpose of nstructing brass
band just organizing"
Gas the proprietor of the slablc /
should be glad to let you have the room
sir, but ms member of the Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals it is
my duty TO tell you that if you don't
get out of here in just ten seconds by
the watch | will have you kicked out
you hcarLlcss wretch l"- CAicago Tribune.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
SPEAKING LITERALLY.

Miss Breezy Ito Prof. x, of the Nat,l-
raj History Muzcum-"Do you not think
Prof. x, that Miss Smith, ut the piano
there, is beautiful girl2"
Prof. x X-"Er-ye yes, indeed, Miss
Breezy, she is exceedingly lovely"
Miss Brcczy-"I have always contend
cd, professor, that she is one of the most
beautiful girls in Chicago, and that there
are no flies on her."
Prof. x. herc his profession shows
itself)-"Ycs, Miss Breezy, but suppose
that in the summer, when the weather is
very warm, she is naturally more or less
troubled with them. ."-Mew York Sun.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
KNEW TIIE sYMrrn,rs-

Wiic-"CyrIs, I nm sure young
Spoonamorc is becoming serious in his at
tcntions to our Susie"
llnsband--"N Nonscnscl What makes
you think so?"
"llc wears new ncckiic every time
he comes"
"Do you think Susie cares anything
for himy"
81 know she does. She hasn't eaten an
onion this year,
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
A Gigantic Stingaree.

The latest fish story comes all the way
from Guaymas, and is to the effect that
n stingarcc was caught there, of which
the following is description: length.
from mouth to tail, 35 feet; width, 30
feet; thickness of the center, about Q
feet; mouth, 81 inches; length of fins.
40 inches; color of tho back, dark
brown, belly, spotted and whitish
gray; estimated weight, 1900 pounds.
Sun FranciscO ChrOnicleS -
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
NOT ALI. HER FAULT.

"Nlarin," demanded Mr.. Billus, with
innch severity, edo you mean to tell me
you paid 80 cents for that lot of worth
lIss auction irunpcry9 Are you ever
gong to learn The value of money!"
"Iiow can you expect me TO learn
anything about il, John, when ] have
only Sl.5O n week TO practise on2" re
pllcd Mrs. l'illus, swcctly, and John stole
softly out into the woodshcd and kicked
himself. = Mic0go Tribune.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
BLOOD Will. TELL.

Phyllis (sotto voc0-"Why don't YOU
acknowledge his courlly salutation, Do
rothy? Is it because his rnthcr was in
soapF'
Dorothy Gin whispered wnrwiM Eyes,
my lnmily traditions are against cultivat
ing such an acquaintance.
Phyllis (soothinglO-"pardon me,
dearest, did not mean to wound YOU.
iinl were all your ancestors trumps2"- u
M"nSry'S Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
HOUND TO KILL. THEN SOMEHOW.

"Mlary," said the sick man fccbly,
"ihosc yowling cats annoy me terribly,
can't they be reached by shot gun or
something Of that kind 2"
mo-" replied his wife; "thcy are on
the Hat roof of the adjoining house"
"Nlary," exclaimed the invalid again,
nitcr pause, aud his fncc grew hard and
pitilcss-" throw some of those medicines
up On the ro0fl"- CHicstgo Tribune.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
a. Us MAY. IT n .1nppoo,r
TAZEWELL co. AND CLINCH VALLEY
LIAM ID AGENCY
TAZEWELL G. IT., VA
II. O. ALDERSON

Offers for sale Coal Iron Agricultural Grazing and Timber
Lands in the counties of fTAzEWELI RUSSELL BUCIAN-
An, DICAENSON and WISE, State of Virginia and Nc
DOWEl County, West Vr 5nia This section being rap
and offers the best field for Investment in the South
Those desiring TO realize their lands speedily will do
well to place them with this agency possessing unusual, ava-
tages for making sales
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
THE JUVENILE MArcm-nnEAKpn.

THE JUVENILE MATCH u-nREAKEn.
Dalsy-"Mr. poscyboy, do you live
next to II larml"
MIR. Poscyboy-''No, littlc one, | live
here in the city. Why do you aska"
Because mamma said Won
were next door to cali. ."-BurlinGfo
frce Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD ny THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

song oil tho Mosquito-Tho Tramp's
Iroubic-An Unreasonable Lower
The Juvenile Match Breaker, Etc.
Some go to tho mountains,
And somo to tho sea.
And sonio stay ut homo
Meath thoir own fig trcc
And Pm II mosquito,
So happy and free,
with nothing TO do.
But to do them all three
And you bet
l will.
Washington Critic.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
HE KNEW THE SIGNS.

When Mr.. Spooncr went home tho
other evening tho door unexpectedly
flew open while he was fumbling in his
pocket for his latch key, and Mrs. .Spooner
had her arms around his neck and had;
given him II kiss OH either cheek; then
she said chccrily:
Let me help you Off with your over
coat, dear. There, I'll hing it up, dear,
Yon'll find your slippers by your chair
and I'll put your shoes away. Did you
have good day down town, dcar2 You
look tired. Poor, dear, old boyl There
never was woman who had dcarcr
husband than my dear, old George any
howl Sit right down, dear. There
there, darling, I'll get tho evening paper
for you. You just sit still and rest whilu
l tell You nbout what naughty little
wife I've been to-day, for, oh, George, I
got mo the lovclicst bonnet for only $40
and -and-you won't mind, will you,
dcarf know you won't. That's tlar-
lingl It's So lovclyl III run right IN
and gel it and show it to you before tea II,
"llumph" growled George, like the
wretch he was, al knew there was some
thing of that sort coming. l knew tho
signs!" Time.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
m UNDERSTANDING AT LAST.

Old Mr. Widcwcr had been sitting
silently alone with Miss Autumn for fif-
teen minutes. Finally he spoke:
"AliSs Autumn. YOU ore nret-n
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
Tun mnAns,AKE OF ,oNon,Ncr

What nils your husband, Mrs
Bailey ~
Nothing, much, guess"
"Whal makes you think that 2"
"Wcil, young DR.. Squccrs called
yesterday, SAW MIR. Bailey, shook his head
und left"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
"Oh, Mr.. Widower1"

i Uu HIC pitt :,
"How can you, Mr.. Widowerfs
VI started to say that you were pret,
ty-"
ooh, you horrid man, stopl"
"Gosh blame it all, woman" shouted
Mr.. Widowcr, rising and breaking for
'he door 81 wanted to say that you nrs
pretty near MS old as am. Now think
you arc twice us old. San Francisco
Examiner.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
THEN rnn WORLD TURNED 'nouNp Ao.,,

'"hN THE WpisLp TURNED ROUND AGAIN.
He entered II tobacco store on Grand
River avenue with II handkerchief pressed
to his jaw, and was ut once IN object of
solictutc.
'lvc been there" said number one.
''nnd can feel for you. Try pepper
mint essence"
~ always put on bag Of hot salt, :"
said number two. "IIavo cured tho
worst kind ~ case inside of two hours" :
"Boshl" exclaimed number three
"clcctricity will stop that ache in twd
minutes. I'll never fool with any other
remedy"
"Gcnilcmcn," said number fohr MS ho
put his finger into his mouth to feel of nm
old snng, "thcrrs nothing like lnud-
an,lm for the iooihachc. IL comes from
nn exposed nerve. L;uilanilin dca,cns tho
scnsibility Of the nerve. I'vcuscd il with
| success II hundred times" !
"l ncvcr'd ndvisr II man TO waste Tina
fooling around" " snid numbcr five. "Lct
him 30 straight to the dentist and have
IT. pulled out. 1t takes grit, of course,
but in five minutes you urc over il for.
ever"
"pvc had eleven pulled out" said
number six, "and I'd sooner lose eleven
more than suffer with toothnchc for ono
hour. Ill go with you, Smith"
"Whcrc TOT" innoccntly asked Smith,
ns he poclioicd tho handkerchief.
"ro tho dentists. Haven't you got
the toothachc?"
"Oh, no. Every one of my moiars is
false | always carry my handkerchief
that way when thinking deeply. Much
obliged gents. What will you smoke.
at your own xpcnsc?"-Det'vn Byed
PreSs.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-23
THE rnAMr's TROUBLE.

Crimplc Ito tramD-"NIy friend, you
look as If you were i'll tho soup"
Tramp-"'rhat amt what worries me,
guv'nor; the trouble is how Ter git some
soup inter me. Time.