davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
He Had Him There.

A man who had business with the occupant
Of an office up town the other day carefully
took down the sign Of ..shut the Door'i and
laid II away before knocking. When invited
TO come In he left the door aar.
Hang II but some folks can't readin ex.
claimed the occupant as he rose up.
"Read whatin
'Read signsl"
"What sign have you goti"
"Don't II say "Shut the Door" in big black
letters on that doorln
isNo, sir %
"Bet you a dolar!"
tDonep'
They advanced TO the door and OF course
discovered that the sign was gone.
''AIl right--take the dollar,n said the dis
gusted occupant of the room. 81 have tried
every possible way to keep that door shut, and
now III nail the burned thing up and hold my
office oAt in the hall"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
The Wrong Vowel.

Talking of typographical errors, we
do not remember seeing more horri-
BILE specimen OF this class OF plumbers
than one which appeared In Massa-
chusetts paper not long ago. At the
close OF an extended and highly eulo-
CYSTIC obituary notice OF a deceased
lawyer, and the reporter desired to say
that 1.-The body was taken to Hull for
interment, where repose the remains
of other members OF the family" BY
mistake the letter ''e" was substituted
for the ''u'' in Hull, changing the sense
OF the sentence to such a degree that
no extra copies OF the issue of the pa.
per were ordered by the family OF the
dead lawyer. Rochester Herald.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05


use OF terms ~ make this word Gescri6o
policy that wlghholds AN expenditure for the
purpose OF extending our foreign commerce.
The enlargement and improvement Of our
merchant marine, the development OF a
sufficient body of trlined American
scamen, tho promotion Of rapid
aud regular mail communications
between the ports OF other countries and our
own, and the adaptation OF large and swift
American merchant Steamship TO naval uses
in time OF war arc publ c purposes Of the
highest concern. The enlarged participation
OF our people in the carrying trade, the new
and increased markets tSat will be opened
for the products OF our farms and factories,
the fuller and better employment Of Onr
mechanics which will result from a liberal
promotion OF our fureigu commerce, insures
the widest possible diffusion OF benefit TO
all the states, and 10 all our poo
pc, everything is most propitious.
for the present inauguration OF q liberal, pro-
gressive policy upon this subject, and We
should enter upon il with prnmptness and de-
cision. The legislation which ! have suR-
PCstCd, it is sincerely believed, will promote
the peace and honor OF our country and the
prosperity and security Of tho people. ! in
woke the diligeut and serious intention OF
congress 20 the consideration of these aud
such other measures as may be presented,
having the same great end in view.
BENJAMIN HARRISON.
Executive Mansion, Washington, ID C., Dec.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
The Progressive Farmer.

1t is an easy matter to farm profit
ably on rich soil, ample capital. and
with all the necessary appliances, but
the farmer who expects to succeed
with but limited facilities viii find it
Improbable to adhere too rigidly TO
customs of the past. 1t is essential
that the farmer advance carefully, but
no farmer can expect to obtain the full
benefit Of his labor unless he is willing
to accept the results OF his expert
ments, and to cndeavor TO improve his
opportunities.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Cologne is to have singular exposition
next year. the exhibits to DO confined to i'll
struments Of war, ammunition and &C
coutrements Several entries have already
been made and it is stated that all the re.
Gently invented life-destroying machines
will be represented.
The eggs of Pacific island turtles are
laid in a perpendicular cavity about o yard
deep at the bottom Of great circular exca-
walton which the female scrapes by whirl-
ing around like a fly with its wings singed
and violently plying its fiippers. There are
usually over hundred eggs in litter.
Chicago Ia taking "broad views and high
grounds" on the Worlds Fair subject. The
Tribune says: 1.-THE question is this: Is
the Worlds Fair Of 1872 to be for the OK.
elusive besefit OF few thousand Europeans
or should the convenience Of Go,0J0,0 20
Americans be consulted to some extent In
locating It'll"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

broom corn seed, which In its habit Of
growth it so much resembles. Sor-
ghum seed is really a valuable grain,
and in China and India it constitutes
much more of human food than any
other grain. Wheat and rice are con-
sidered extra delicacies, while sorghum
grain is the staple OF the poorer and
working classes. 1t really makes bet
ter griddle cakes when ground than
any other grain excepting buclwheat,
and for poultry it is considered better
than corn .. e-F .. .r...-
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

NJ. Crawford, well-known Ohio nur-
seryman, says the natural support of
the grape vine is the tree. He would
encourage farmers to grow grapes on
trees for their own use, if they have
not time to grow them in any better
way. Grapes rot less on trees than in
vine yards. There is a right and
wrong way Of even getting u vine into
tree. 1t will be slow process to
plant vine at the root of an c9tab-
lished tree and train it up the body.
The proper way is to plant it at some
distance from the tree, and grow it on
a stalk until the end OF the second
year By this time one should have a
ripe cane six or eight feet high. 1t
may then be trained into the branches.
after which it will take care of itself.
1t will grow very rapidly until it reach
es the top. While growing fast it will
develop few fruit buds, but when it
can go no higher, and must grow hor-
izontally, if at all, will be + abundant
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Among the successful business institutions
of Toledo, Ohio, is that of Col. Frank j.
Cheney, the manufacturer Of Halls Catsrrh
Cure. Under his wise and careful manage
ment 1t has assumed gigantic proportions, and
recently an eastern syndicate made him an
offer in cash of $250, 900 for his plant, which
Mr.. Cheney declined to accept. A few years
ago he was seriously embarrassed, but I'M
daunted by misfortune, he settled down to
hard work in pushing an article which he be-
leved possessed merit. Long ago he paid
every claim against him, dollar for dollar, and
now as fortune left. All this he has ac-
complished by persistent push and printers
ink. Among the great advertising firms of
the country he stands in the front rank Of
advertisers. The press of Toledo, and its citi-
Gems generally, rejoice at the success and good
fortune OF Mr.. Cheney, who is highly cstecmed
among them fer his business energy, as well as
his happy social qualities.-From an article in
the Toledo Bee, Nov. 10th.
What Jay Gould would raise IL he were n
the horticultural line-watcr-m millions.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
Alum In Bread.

Alum owes its power of blanching
the paste Of bread not to alumina
which it contains or to the combina-
ton OF this earth with the gluten, but
to the sulphuric acid liberated by the
formation Of aluminium albuminate.
According to Nothnayel and Rosen-
bach, the prolonged daily use OF alum
in proportion OF 0.05 to OIL grim. oc-
casions gastric disturbances not unim-
portant The author finds that the
artificial gastric digestion of alumei
bread effects the solution of all the
alum present Hence it is possible
that quantity OF ,alumtna equivalent
TO 0.20 grim. OF alum may enter the
circulation daily. -
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
A Few Truths TelIin.ly PAT.

Votes should not be counted, but
weighed.
To be content with littleness is al
ready u stride toward greatness.
The small writer gives his readers
what they wish, the great writer what
they want
The mischief of opinions formed
under irritation is that men s,el
obliged to maintain them even after
the irritation is gone.
Men are equally misunderstood, from
their speech rs we'll as from their
silence; but with this differences: Their
silence does not represent them; their
speech misrepresents them, = Century.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
Snnrkinr I'm Gre,ce.

When young Greek determines to
ial1o wife to himself he does not go
recurring, but he takes his Oldest
iemale relative into his confidence and
they at once go hunting for suitable
nate for him. Marriageable maidens
are, visited and silently appraised.
They receive the old danes courteous
". answer all their questions and
never venture TO ask the nature Of
heir errand. As soon rs the visitors
ave made choice the wooer dis
patches them again TO the maiden's
home with instructions to ask her
land ia marriage.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Do you value the health and comfort Of yom
childrent Then guard them against Group by
taking hold of that cough OF cold at the start,
and relieving the Inflammation with DIR. Bulls
Cough Syrup. II they have the whooping-
cough do what you can to alleviate their pain
by giving them DIR. Bulls Cough Syrup. All
children love 1t.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
A man who has practIced medicine for A

man who has practlced medicine for 40
years, ought to know salt from sugar; read
what be says: TOLEDO. o., Jan, 10, 1887.
Messrs. F. j. Cheney 81 Co.-Gentlemen II
have been in the general practice Of medicine
for most 20 years, and would say that In all my
practice and experience have never seen prep
aration that l could prescribe with as much
confidence Of success as can Halls Catarrh
Cure, manufactured by you. Have prescribed
1t great many times and its effect is wonder
full, and would say in conclusion that l have
yet TO find a case Of Catarrh that 1t would not
cure, II they would take it according to direc-
tions. Yours Truly, l.. l.. GORSUCH, MD.
Office, 2l5 Summit st.
We will give 500 for any case Of Catarrh that
can not be cured with Halls Catsrrh Cure.
Taken internally. F. J. CHENEY IL CO.,
Props, Toledo, o. e7y Sold by Druggists, Toe.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
Answered Correctly.

A teacher in one Of the public schools was
giving a lesson on patriotism. The children
seemed to know very little about Washington
except the Ratchet story and the fact that he
was great and good man, which they had
read In the second reader. At last the teacher
said:
"You stay home from school on Washing
tons birthday, but you never do so on my
birthday. .Why n5tl"
And with surprising emphasis came the
answer: "Cause he never told lie."
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

The Louisville IL Nashville Railroad with its
double daily fast trains still affords the passcu-
gers for Florida and the Southeast the best IA
cilties and quickest time, with fewest changes
Only thirty-six hours st. Louis to Jacksonville
without change Of cars. Only thirty four hours
seventeen hours to Chattanooga, twelve hours
to Nashville. For further information write to
J. w. MASS, Division Passenger Agent, ia
North Fourth St., St. Louis, Mo.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

are not slow to understand that, in order to
warrant their manufacturers in guaranteeing
them to benefit or cure, medicines must pos
scss more than ordinary merit and curative
properties. DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery is the only blood medicine sold, through
druggists, under a posture guarantee that Il
will benefit or cure or money paid for it will be
returned. In all blood, skin and scalp diseases,
and for all scrofulous affections, 1t Is specific.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
UnSelfSh.

"My dear,n said Mrs. Honeymoon to her
spouse, one day at dinner, "the doctors say
that one should not think about business mat.
tiers at meal times, as it impairs digestion and
Injuries the health. Pray, dear, what do you
think about when we sit down to mealsl"
Sweetest" replied the old man, ~ only
think about chew : !
And Mrs. Honeymoon put her arms around
his neck and kissed him.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
when He Would Believe Him.

One OF the witnesses for the defence
in the Circuit court created a smile in
the afternoon by an ingenious reply
when asked to testify as to the veracity
and st nding OF a neighbour. He was
asked ifhe would believe the man under
osth. well. ] would believe him II l
knew what he was saying was true. -
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Whether on pleasure bent or business, should
take on every trip bottle of Syrup Of Figs,
as 1t acts most pleasantly and efrectually on
the kidneys, liver and bowels, preventing
fevers, headaches and other forms Of sickness.
For sale in SOC and SLIGO bottles by all leading
druggists.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Faithfulness is necessary In all kinds Of work.
Especially is 1t necessary, in treating cold, to
procure the best remedy, which is Aliens Lung
Balsam, and take it faithfully according to d.
rections, and it will cure cold every time and
prevent fatal results. Sold by all druggists at
Csc, Soc and 81 90 a bottle
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
-------
Attractive Farm Hnmea

There is no place where nature is so
profuse in her gifts of beautiful things
as on the farm, and there is no place
wher1 it is so easy with little cost or
trouble to produce beautiful effects.
But too many of our farmers forget
that beauty serves any purpose in the
economy Of life, and spend all their
time and energy in the pursuit of other
things.
There is nothing that will keep the
young men and women at home, con-
tented and happy, so we'll rs a moder-
ate amount of care in making the farm
home and surroundings attractive.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Sergeant-What's the charged 0fficer-At-
tempted suicide. Sergeant--Did you catch him
jumping overboardl Officer No. Sitting on
New York subway manhole.
From the ranks-oleomarraripe
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

On On, account OF their inability 70 digest 1000,
in Scott's Emulsion. Very palatnble and
easily digcstcd. DR.. 8. W. ComEN, of Waco,
Texas, says: II have used your Emulsion in
Infantile wasting. 1t not only restores wasted
tissues, but gives strength, and increases the
annette, > / D. . '7ff' ~ .n. ~. 81. =
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Millions Of women use DobbIns' Electric
Soap daily, and say it is the best and cheapest.
II they are right, you ought to use 1t. II wrong,
one trial only will show you. Buy q bar of
your grocer and try it next Monday.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
Keep Young Hens.

During melting the best hens usual
ly decline to lay eggs, and they lose
their vivacity. When they mott early
there is probability that they will be-
gin to lay early in the winter; for this
reason alone young hens are preferred
as the main stock; they will lay more
eggs, and their flesh is fit for the table
when needed. A few old hens for sit
ting may be advisable, but the one
who says that old hens are TO be pre-
ferred TO young ones must have g
warped and senseless Judgement
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Storm CALENDER and Weather Forecasts for
1890, by Rev. Irl r. Hicks, mailed to any address
on receipt of a twocent stamp.--TuEDR.J j. Ii.
MCLEAN MEp. Co, st. Louis, Mo.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
Moro Approprlate Mans.

New York SUI: Miss BacknuLiber:
kAiy little dog Hero wars awfully
Matched by cat to-day, so | think !
81 change his name" Miss Sere:
aylIl yon call him nowg" Miss
tar: s,Clauderi
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Carditc is a new powder which dampucss
does not affect, which causes no smoke aud
which greatly increases the explosive power.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

John Worth, of st. Louis, wants you towrte
him for particulars free. Agents are coming
money selling the Missouri Steam Washer.
Sent on trial. Gives satisfaction everywhere.
Territory exclusive
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

When dude is near.sighted and hall. wittel
he gets on very well with half an eyc.glass.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

The Cleveland piano dealer who has gone to
Canada, is doubtless in quest of some one who
can play him the rogue's march as 1t should be
played.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Farmers viii find that Salvation OH isa
fure remedy for frosted feet. All druggists
keep Il. 1t Is sold for 25 cents a bottle. =
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

At Pensacola, Florida, a mustang that was
abused by its driver rushed into the water and
held its head beneath the surface until it
drowned
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
To Tell the Age of u Horse.

TO tell the age of any horse,
Inspect the lower jaw, of course;
The six front teeth the tale will tell ...
And every doubt and fear dispel.
Two middle ''nippcrs" you behold
Before the colt is two weeks old,
Before eight weeks two more will come;
Eight months the corners" cut the gum.
The outside grooves will disappear
From middle two in just one year.
lu two years, from the second pair; o..
III three, the "cOrners,' too, are bare.
At two the middle "nipperS" drop,
AT three the second pair can't stop.
When four years old the third pair goes,
At five full new set he shows.
The deep black spots will pass from view
At six years from the middle two
The second pair at seven years,
AT eight the spot each corner" clears.
From middle ''nippers" upper jaw
AT nine the bla2lE space will withdraw;
The second pair at ten are white;
Eleven finds the corners light.
AS time goes on the no rsemcn know
The oval teeth three sided grow;
They longer get, project before
Till twenty, when we know no moro.
Housekeepers Ought to Know.
That TO have good coffee your coffee
pot must be bright and clean inside.
That you can sweep u rag carpet
much cleaner sweeping crosswise OF
the width.
That in making up the unbleached
muslin allow one inch TO the yard for
shrinkagc.
That if You fold your clothes as you
take them from the line they will iron
much easier.
That your copper wash boiler, If
well rubbed with cloth dipped in
coal-Oil, will be clean and bright.
That to keep your bedding pure and
wholesome open up your beds to air
the first thing in the morning.
That one part suet to two parts OF
lard rendered together is much better
for frying purposes than all lard.
That if you want to keep your house
free Of moths never put down your
carpets till the floor is perfectly dry.
That to wash smoOthing-irons in
dish-water after washing your sllillets,
will make them smooth aud prevent
rusting.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Brown-"How time flies" Jenking-.T am
not aware of its speedy passage" B..-"Then
you have not note to payl" J.-"No; hold
Voure
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
Tourists.

Titus Canby-I want tooth pulled; how
much will it bel Dentist-Fifty cents. Titus
Canby-Here's a quarter-pull 1t half out. d
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

ConsumptiOn.--For the cure Of this dis
tressing disease there has been no medicine
yet discovered that can show more evidence Of
real merit than Aliens Lung Balsam Csc,
bOc and 81 90 bottle, ...f-
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Sheep are are easily kept, and while
young and having having good teeth
they will winter on straw with a few
cornstalks as change TO give variety
But it is never good policy to winter
stock so cheaply as this. A little ex-
ira expense in clOverhay or grain will
bring the sheep through in fine con-
ditiOn, and add nearly enough to the
value OF the manure pile to pay the
cost. Sheep, like every other auimIl,
only make rich manure when well fed.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

The old smokers delight 'ransilrs Punch"
Americas finest DC. Cigar.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Have You Seen Libby Prison?
A most beautiful handsomely colored picture
mailed to advertise the prison at Chicago. See
the advertisement Of Libby Prison War Museum
N this paper.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Watermelon seeds were found In an Egyptian
tomb that was 300 years old.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
The Best Always wanted.

There is a large and growing class
Of people in our cities aud towns who
will have fine, freshly made, aromatic
butter on their tables, regardless of
cost. If poor butter was offered at ten
cents per pound, they would prefer
paying fifty cents for butter suited to
their tastes. Every dairyman should
determine TO cater TO the trstes Of
those who demand the best butter, and
who are willing to pay for it There
Is never any surplus OF the choice
makes OF butter.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05
AGENTS.

Settlers in the Big Bend country, WASH,
have to ride forty miles to get their mail and
vote.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

1t takes bushel and a half OF corn in Kansas
to buy a brshcl of coal
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

In future every troop OF British cavalry will
be equipped with a machine gun.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

Mild, ECU able climate. certain and abundant
crops Best fruit grain, grass and stock country in
the world. Full information free. Address the
Oregon Immigration Board. Portland. Oregon.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-12-05

$500 Reward Offered by the proprietors Of DR..
Sage's Catanh Remedy for an incurable case.