Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1889-11-20
RATES OF ADVERTIsING.
Mr. and Mrs. BOwSer.
dow He WANTED To BE AN ALDERMAN
RITT FAIIED To RRrNc TT Apor,r

: BUT FAILED TO BRING IT ABOUT.
"Well, what do you think?" queried Mr..
Bowser, as he looked up at me across the
supper table one evening.
tYou-you haven't been and bought an
other horse, Mr.. Bowser?''
"Horse Can't you think of anything
but horse? suppose you'll throw that
horse up to me to your dying dayl"
I'm so glad you have decided not to buy
anotherl Is it some more chickens, or a new
fire escape, or another dog to ear US up2''
Il He turned pale and refused to say annth.
or word for two hours. Then be could bold
himself no longer, and he suddenly observ-
cd.
II suppose you will feel proud of the title
of Mrs. Aid. Bowser."
"What do you mean?"
Just what say. You are soon to be
known as Mrs. Aid. Bowser."
"Are you going to run for officer"
81 am l. was settled this afternoon. ]
am going to be nominated for alderman of
this ward.''
"Mr. Bowser, is it possible that you are
going to let them lead you into any such
foolishuess! I thought you had moro
level head than that, in spite OF all your
mistakes" +"
sMy mistakesr' he shouted. 81 never
made one in my life, except When married
you! Level head! Id like to see some one
who carries a more level head than I dop'
And an YOU are going to be alderman"
| "If I live'
| "But wnat foroo''
| Because it is the wish of the psople.
My country calls. The committee have
csnvassed the ward aud concluded that /
was not only the best man for the office, but
the only one who stood any show against
the vicious opposition. 1t is sacrifice on
my part, but the true patriot must be ready
| to sacrifice"
| / didn't say any more. As soon as he
left the house next morning prepared for
visitors, aud / was not disappointed. He
was hardly out of sight before the bell
rang and opened the door to f1nd dirty
looking fellow with his bat on his ear who
asked:
"Is Boyser homes"
| "No, sir"
"Gets out pretty early. doesn't hep
Leave auy money for me9"
"No, SIR"
"He didn't, eh2 Purity specimen of
candidate he is! Expects us to do all the
hgurin' fur nuthin, does hep
"Who are you, sip"
| "Who are I?' he repeated as he slanted
his hat little mora and spit over his shoul.
OOis L IL oAO PotVJ DO OniilCo butc Wdha
in his vest pocket, am, aud If old Bowse
don't cum down literally he gets left.
Tell him to come and see me-"
| Nine times that forenoon / answered the
ba!tsto fud ward heelsr or some other
sort of political parasite on the door step.
One of them even went so far as to ask ms
to pledge Mr.. Bowser to vote for him -
run one of the city hall elevators. There
were three others waiting for him when Ia
got home to dinner, and l saw him giv4
them money. He came in excited and ia
bilant, aud when I told him what had oc.
Cured in replied:
Let the dear people come. They know
| that am the man to do all ] can for them
if am elected, and elected l shall be as
sure as the sun rises on the Gay. What do
you think? was talking with prominent
man belonging to the opposition and he said
it would be no use for his party to put up a
mau against me. Bowser stock is way up,
Heyr
For week l lived in state of miserable
agitation. Every hour in the day a ward
heeler rang the bell, and when be WASN'T
ringing, it was some man who wanted
saver or other contract. Every evening the
house was full of politicians laying plans
and guzzllng down my currant wine, and
on three nights Mr.. Bowser had to " 90 the
ruuuuS Ol bhC 0diu dhd sec buO UO(S.
On the last night I had to help him up
stairs. ard the tears rolled down bis cheeks
as be whimpered:
"Shey. Mrs. Bowser, it Just breaks my
heart to shee how e'r people love me. They
cry FIR me, and-and l cry FIR zhem!'
This went on for week, and then the
caucus was held to nominate. Mr.. Bow
ser said he would go through by acclama-
tion, but as the boys would expect some
sort of speech, not to say a keg of beer,
afterwards, he would have to be on hand.
| As soon as nominated there would be no
| more heelers> running after him, and
nomination meant election by a large ma
jprity. didn't say much, but 1 felt pretty
sure how it ~nuld come oat.
Along about Q O'Clock he came home. He
| was running. He also breathed hard and
looked white.
"What on earth is the matter now9"
asked as he banged into the hall.
! "G-gouer' be gasped.
| How gomez"
"Gone up."
"Mr. Bowser, tell me what has hap
psned. You act as if you had met ghost
AID lost your esnsas."
| T-I didn't get the nom-nomination!
be whispered, his knees quaking so that he
had to sit down on chair.
"Why dida's you?'
"Because they concluded that Mr.. Scott
was the more popular and the stronger
man
"What! That cross-eyed loafer who was
arrested only last week for whipping his
wife?"
"Y-yes."
| We looked at each other for long time
without speaking. Then said:
81 thought the dear people loved you,
| Mr.. Bowser."
| eyes"
"You were to be selected above all others
and honors thrust upon you.'
eyes"
s'Your country called upon you to down
the vicious opposition. You were the
patriot who was ready to sacrifice him.
self"
| eyes"
"How much has this experience cost
you?"
"Four hundred
swell, you have made fool of yourself,
and l hope it will be p lesson to you.-
You'd better go to bed"
| 81 guess l will"
At midnight he woke up, sat up in bed
and exclaimed
'Look here, old lady, l hope you feel
better, having accomplished your villainous
object "
"What do you mean ?''
81 mean that you defeated me in the
caucus Everybody knows you, and this
opportunity for revenge could not be pass
ed over. Mrs. Bowser, you have gone
step too far ! Tomorrow / shall consult
lawyer about divorce proceedings p'
$50 to Sleep"
"Yss, I'll go to sleep, but don't Imagine
l shall forget or overlook your base duplic-
ity. l have borne aud borne, but this is
the end l''
Next morning, however, he made no ref
erence to the matter, and as some of his
party made him believe that be had been
withdrawn in the interests of harm ony, he
came home one day to observe
hear that my name is being mentioned