The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-12-13
HOW TODDLES PROPOSED.

Mr.. Toddles arose one morning in a
very melancholy mood. 1t was his
forty fifth birthday, and he was still a
bachelor.
"Time is flying" he said. "Youth has
gone. l have nothing to look forward
to but miserable single life at board
ing house. Why have 1 never married.
1t is too late now
"Toddles! you in?' cried voice at the
door. 81 want to consult you"
Come income ill.," replied Toddles,
and tie door opened to admit tall gen.
tleman, with head like the popular
portraits of Shakespeare and beard
which he trimmed in the way best cal
culated to impress the likeness on all be-
holders.
He wore very snowy little smoking
jacket and a cap to match, and carried
in his hand roll of manuscript and a
stylographic pen. He looked what he
was-a literary man. His serials, which
were of the most romantic sort, were
read with avidity by all the young Ia
dies who subscribed for The Weekly
Gusher or who bought it at the stands or
stationers' stores or borrowed it of their
neig ghbors. His heroes were never more
than two and twenty; resembled, ac-
cording to description, the wax figures
with which hair dressers decorate their
windows; smoked constantly; rolled up
their eyes continually; and all possessed
silk night gowns and slept on silken pill
lows, and put rare perfumes on their
handkerchiefs and decorated their but
tonholes with hot house plants, and had
only to double their fists and shake them
at any other man in order to make him
fall as flat as the walls of Jericho. In
fact, they were even mixtures of the
Apollo Belvedere and the dandy of the
time Of The Spectator, with some of the
stuff that goes to the making of the hero
of the modern prize ring. However,
the girls liked them, and many a mar
ried dame sighed over the romances and
wished that her prosaic John was more
of that pattern.
"Good morning, Toddles, old fellowl"
said Mr.. Sparkle, genially. "Here I
am, coming for advice again! When
ever want genuine advice I come to
you. You have literary taste. It's a
confounded pity that you are rich, Tod
dles-you'd have made your mark with
your pen else. Well, you'll advise me?"
81 shall be delighted, I'm sure" said
Toddles-'delighted! But you fatter
me-"
"Not at ALL" responded Mr.. Sparkle
Breakfast is not ready yet; I'll Just
read this to you, if you don't mind. I've
taken new departure in this serial-Tve
introduced an old fellow"
"How old?' asked Toddles.
"Thirty,7 responded Sparkle almost
thirty"
'Now, l call that young" said Toddles.
"Of course it is, in real life," said
Sparkle. "Forty is young, to all intents
and purposes. But literary age is very
different. 1t would blast an authors
reputation to make heroine out of her
teens or q hero out of his twenties. This
30-year-older is an old bachelor who has
long adored certain lady, and remains
unmarried for her sake. She is going
down into the vale of years-ive-and-
twenty of 'em-a spinster for love of
him. Neither guesses the love of the
other-good point. ch?"
Every" said Toodles.
"Now, the question is" said Sparkle,
whether to unite them or to have her
confess her love for him beside his death
he'd"
"The latter!" cried Toddles, enthusi-
astically. "But have him recover after
all, and then marry en-"
Sparkle started up and grasped Tod
dies hand.
Magnificent" he said. "You always
have original ideas"
He sat down at Toddles' desk and be-
gan to lance his stylographic pen into
the air in q furious manner highly sug-
gestive of delirium tremens. However,
Toddles was not alarmed; he knew that
he was only getting his pen into work
ing order.
"Ah!" he said, as drop of ink ap-
peared at the point of the instrument,
"here we are at lastr He jotted down
memorandum, and then wheeled
about. 'Let me read you this" he said;
81 think you will like it. My hero is
Notwithstanding that he is de-
claring his love-ahem!" and Mr.. Sparkle
pushed his smoking cap to the back of
his head, smoothed his Shekespearean
beard with his hand and began:
"'Beloved one Nay, start not; long
have l called thee so in my soul"
SIS he Quaker?" inquired Mr.. Tod
dies.
mo, no; l always use 'thee' and thou
for strong love passages, replied Sparkle.
"See?"
"Oh, yes" replied Toddles. "How
stupid of mel"
mot at all" said Sparkle. "Let me
see: beloved one Nay, start not; long
have called thee so in secret. Have not
my eyes revealed to thee the tale my
tongue refused to utterg Hast thou not
guessed that my heart lay at thy feetp
Nay, cruel one, thou turness from me.
Should I ask thee to be mine scorn
would be my portion. And yet, ho%
can l live without thee? Alasl alasl
alasr
"What do you think of it?"
'Its very touching" said Toddles,