davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18
PARALLEL LINES.

Every student knows that in close
reasoning parallel lines of thought are
laid down and deductions educed.
1t is not our purpose at this time to
enter into learned discussion, and we
have drawn the above visible lines sim
ply to bring them prominently before
your eye and to ask what they rep
resent to you.
A railroad man to whom we showed
them said, ITO me those four lines rep
resent double-track railway"
A doctor replied to the same interrog-
atOry, "The lines are to me the large
arteries and veins lying alongside each
other in the human body"
As will be observed the same lines to
either gentleman suggested different
lines Of thought, as both looked at them
through eyes accustomed to see only
that which for the most part occupied
their attention. To the writer both an
swers put an old truth in a fresh and
original light.
As every intelligent man or woman
knows, the blood of every living person
flows with almost railroad speed through
the arteries. forced by that wonderful
engine, the heart From the arteries it
is side-tracked through the capillaries
and veins, and every drop of blood goes
through the kidneys for publication no
less than $500 times every twenty -four
hours. II the kidneys be diseased the
impurities OF the blood containing the
WORKOUT tissues, and deleterious acids
are not drawn out or excreted as nature
intended, but continually pass and re-
pass through every fiber of the system.
carrying death and decay with every
pulsation. Unless remedied the heart
becomes weakened, the lungs trying to
do double work break down, the liver
becomes congested, the stomach refuses
to digest food and the result is a gener-
al break down.
Why?
Because the kidneys, the sewers of
the system, are foul and stopped up,
and the entire blood becomes nothing
more nor less than sewage.
Now is it not criminal, nay, suicidal,
to allow such state of things to con-
tinue when simple remedy is within
your reach, known for a certainty to do
as represented, which will open the
closed pipes of the kidneys, allow the
effete matter to escape, relieve the over
worked heart, lungs and liver, cause a |
healthy appetite, put the bloom of
health in your cheek, the dove of hope |
in your heart, and the light of life in
your eye?
You already have OWNED the remedy
We have reference to; its praise is uni
versal, its influence worldwide. Do not |
allow prejudice to blind you to your
best interests, but to-day procure War
ner's safe cure and be put on the
straight road to rude health and cor
rect living.
Our parallel and closing lines to you
are, take our advice and your expert
ence will justify you in thanking us for
bringing under your notice remedy
without parallel.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18
ELEMENTARY LEGERDENAIN.
CURIOUS SURGERY.

This trick is quite sure to cause the
gentlemen to say, That's pretty good :"
while the ladies will scream, ooh don't"
on seeing it performed.
1t needs little self-sacrifice, too: but
II you are anxious to perform a neat lit
tie trick, you viii not mind the slight
pain.
Previous to coming into the room,
puncture your thumb with sharp in
strument, near the nail, in one or two
places. but not SO t.Iat it will bleed
without pressure. Now come forward
and assert that you have discovered a
new method of surgery, and will dem
onstrate it by cutting open Your thumb
and instantly healing it.
Take, next, handkerchief, and bind
the thumb tightly, keeping it straight.
Ask for knife, and.pretend to cut YOUR
thumb, at the same time bending it.
The pressure of the knife although the
blade does not, of course, cut YOU, and
the bending Of your thumb, will cause
blood to flow profusely. The blood
spreads along the blade of the knife,
and it looks as though you had cut
deeply into your thumb. Then heal
it by wiping the blood away and straight
ming out your thumb.
SPINNING A HANDKERCHIEF.
Jugglers often perform the feat of
spinning a handkerchief on the end of a
stick. You can do it on the end of your
wand. just as cleverly. Bring forward
a large handkerchief, bandanna, for
example (they can be bought cheap
now-since last November), and, tossing
it in the air, cause it to spin on the end
OF Your wand. The effect is very pleas
ing to the eye, and you are likely to
great credit for you apparent skill.
The secret of Your success lies in the
fact that you have a needle stuck in the
end of your wand, projecting out about
half to three-quarters of an inch, point
upwards. Consequently, the handker-
chief, when thrown in the air, is caught
upon the point of the projecting needle,
which, being very fine, cannot be seen
by the audience, but appears to them
as if the handkerchief was whirling
on the top of the stick.
QUEER PLACE FOR WEALTH.
AeiHdTh 10 your audience tnat, as
you see many strange things
which are not visible to the eyes of
other people, unless you choose to make
them so.
For instance" you say, "look in that
mans sleeve"
Thereupon, you walk up to him, shake
his sleeve, and cause literal shower of
coins to fall out, although the audience
can observe that your fingers barely
hold the bottom of the sleeve from
the coins come.
This feat is done by palming. Have
several coins palmed in your left hand.
grasp the gentleman suddenly, forcing
your left hand inside his coat to the up
per opening, under his armpit. At the
same time, catch the lower part of his
sleeve with your fingers, and shake. All
eyes will be upon the lower part of the
sleeve when you are shaking
In the meantime, let the coins, which |
Tou hold palmed, slip down inside his
sleeve and fall out. If you work quickly |
md adroitly, even the subject himself |
will not discern the way it is done.
Yankee Blade.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18
HE GOT $4,000.
w. II. Maggie, of Boston, Was
Fortunate in His Recent


Boston Mass Record, Feb. IL.
At the January drawing of the Lou
isiana State Lottery Co.. it WIS found
that the ticket numbered 4O,7S9 had
drawn 100000. One-tenth of this
ticket was held by Boston gentleman,
W. H. Nagle, of Farrell, Nagle and
Power, wholesale dealers in wool, Hath
away building, $40 Atlantic ave.
Mr.. Nagle lives in large. brown
wooden dwelling on the corner of Main
and Ellery sts., Cambridge. A Record
reporter called on him last evening to
learn if the report as to his good luck
had q good foundation, and was assured
that it had. Mr.. Maggie sent in 81 about
two months ago to NJ. A. Dauphin, New
Orleans, La, and short time ago he
received check from that gentleman for
$4,000, on which he got the money.
Mr.. Maggie had not decided what dis
position he should make of his sudden
ly gained good fortune. He said that
he has so many calls for money that he
can use it all readily. He might put it
in stocks, bonds, real estate, or in the
bank
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18
HoW'S THIS!

We offer One Hundred Dollars reward for
any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by
taking Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. j. CHENEY d CO., Props, Toledo, O.
We. the undersigned, have known F. J,
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transact
tions, and financially able to carry out any
obligations made by their firm.
WEsT d TEUAx, Wholesale Druggists, Tole-
do, o.
WALDrSe. kINNAN Il MARVIN, Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, o.
E. Z. Vas RcxsES, Cashier Toledo National
Bank. Toledo. o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucus
surfaces of the system. Testimonials sent
zee. Prics 80 per bottle. Sold by ell
Druggists.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18
A Dull, Sickening Thud.

They were both very young and very
fair. She wore an unwrinkled new
gown in the very latest and most bilious
shade of green, and with directoire but
tons the size of dinner-plate. Her
gloves and boots had just come from
their respective manufacturers and her
bonnet was of yesterday. Nor was his
costume at all eclipsed by hers. 1t was
of shining spick-and-span newness from
the toe Of his polished boot to the sum-
NIT of his glossy and Respondent silk
hat. They came into one of the Fifth
Avenue churches Sunday morning, and
dense indeed was the worshiper who did
not perceive at glance that they were
on their bridal tour to New York. They
We're shown by the usher to a pew
nearly full, but they didn't mind that.
They were perfectly willing to sit close
to each other and look on the same
hymn-book.
But alas! from that affectionate prox-
unity arose, to express it figuratively,
the little rift within the lutte, the first
cloud on the honeymoon. They rose to
sing the hymn. He tenderly placed his
shining hat, which he had hitherto
guarded in his hand. on the seat. They
lifted up their voices in sacred song,
and forgot in their proud companion
ship all sublunary matters.
The singing over, they closed the
book and simultaneously sat down.
There was mufiled report, dull and
truly a sickening thud. The bride
turned pale, the groom turned purple.
Was it her fault that she had sat down
on his high hat when he had carefully
placed it behind her? It was not, but
alas! the spell was broken, the glamour
forever fled! As she rose and he extri-
Gated the ruin of what was once SO beau
tiful, rs he saw the feigned devotion
with which the people around bent over
their hymn-books, the glance he cast
upon her was distinctly and clearly re-
proachful.-Neic York Sun.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

Lawyer (hotly)-"Do you mean to say,
sir, that you do not consider Mr.. DeLyre a
man of his word!''
Witness-''I do
'.You do, Ell: Do you mean to insinuato
that he ever ies?"
chats about it,"
'.Now, sir, attention, Do you mean to say
that you would not believe him under oath!''
'No. | have not said that"
''Gh, no. i thought I'd catch you. Then
you do not say you would not believe him
under oath?''
mo. i haven't heard him do any talking
under oath yet"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18
Consumptinn Surely Cured

To The Editor: Please inform your read
crs that | have a positive remedy for Con-
sumption. By its timely use thousands of
hopeless cases have been permanently cured.
! shall be glad to send two bottles of my
remedy FREE to any of your readers who
have consumption if they will send me their
Express and Z. o. address. Respectfully,
L. A. SLOCUM. NJ. c.. 1s1. Pearl ST.. n. Y.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

Smart Wife-''Don't worry, George, l
wrote an article for the paper to-day, show
ing how to get up a family dinner for ore
dollar, and took it around, and the editor
gave me dollar
Husband-''That's rare piece OF good
luck. What are you going to do with the
doliar?''
I'm going to try that receipt myself and
see if it will work"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18
Very Singular.

New Yorker Ito friend)-Did you
read about that young lady being robbed
in broad daylight on Sixth avenue?
Frierd-Yes, I read about it.
singular. wasn't it?"
aWhat was there singular about it:
Such things happsp every week.
but didn't you faad that she had .
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

In taking Cod Liver Oil is entirely overcome
in Scots Emulsion of Cod Liver Oil and
Hypophosphites. 1t is as palatable as milk,
and the most valuable remedy that has ever
been produced for the cure of Consunlp-
ton. Scrofula, and Wasting Disea=es. Dc
not fail to Try it.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

IN her pocketbook, and that she had
just returned from shopping? That .
woman should quit shopping while she
had s. left is the most astonishing thing
I have ever known. SiftinqS
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

Jay Gould's wonderful new yacht was, il
Is said, most completely and elegantly fur
hished. Among other useful and indi-,ens-
able things ordered for it was a bottle of DR..
Bulls Congh Syrup, the famous old rem ,dy
for coughs and colds.
The healing and purifying qualities os
salvation Oil render it the best article for
the speedy and safe cure of liberated sores
Price only % cents.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18
More Interesting

Husband What kind of seats shall l
get for the play to-night-orchestra?
Wife-No; family circle.
Because they're cheaper, I suppose"
I'VE can see better"
See what. the stsge?"
@Of course not-what the women in
the audience wear.-Yankee Blade.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18
CHANGING ITS TITLE.
The well-known firm of Oliver Ditson &
Co., will hereafter be known Is

Mr.. Chas. II. Ditson, in the new corpora
ton. represents the name so familiar to every
newspaper reader. The firm includes Mr.
John c. Haynes and Chas. b. Ditson, form
er partners) and five gentlemen who have
hitherto held prominent positions in the Bos-
ton, New York and Philadelphia stores.
The successful firm enters on the second
half century Of it, existence with q large
stock and extpnaiye business, and With eveIy
vroeahthiy of lnUe aud npad insssosA
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

Mr.. Funnyman-"Miss DePink, Edith,
dare hore?"
Miss DcPink-"No, Mr.. Funnyman, /
shall never marry. | love my mother too
dearly to ever make her mother-in-law.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

In equal suffrage days the mother will go
home and wake the baby up to see it smile,
and the father will spend the rest of the
night getting him to sleep again.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

Lady-''Ahcm, There seems to be some
mistake. / advertised for French maid. :"
Apphcant-NNo mishtake, mum. It's a
Frinch maid Olive been fer foive months, as
the six childer Oh attended kin tell yez.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

Iowa lady-Where is my husband7
Servant-He Just stepped out to the
drug store. mum. Ny goodness! Is
he drinking again T-Nesc York
Keeklv.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

81 don't care very much for the frieze,
but I'd like dago. What have you in the
way of dagos?" And the Wallpaper mar
went into the other room and had fit.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

The Union Pacific The Overland Route
has placed a buffet service in its Pullman
sieepers on regular overland trains, which
accommodation will be greatly appreciated
by Pullman sleeping car patrons.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

The Union Pacific has added another
round 10 its ladder of popularity by placing
buffet service for its sleeping car patrons
in the Pullman sleepers run on the regular
overland trains.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

In enumerating the troubles of life. the
light shoe does not receive the attention it
deserves.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

1t is well to be married in the spring; you
have chance to get used TO each other be-
fore the tire-lighting question comes up.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

One advantage of being a chicken is that
no other chicken can kick the covers off
you at night.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

When man fails they say he is failure,
but when a woman fails they say that her
housework and her children held her back.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

SUFFERERS PROM CoUGHs, SORE THROAT.
etc, should try Browns Bronchial Tro-
ches," simple but sure remedy. Sold only
in boxes. Price % cts
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

whsn Baby was siek. We gave her castoria.
when she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When shs became Nias, she chung TO Cestoria,
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

psckerel, Mr.. Boarder:'
MIR. Boarder-'.No. thank you; but I'll take
a bucket of water, if you please"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

Tell me, is your wife curious?" ''She? l
really believe she came into the world only
out OF curiosity
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

Ladies and children travelling in the Pull
man sleeping cars will find the 6elicat
lunch served in the Pullman buffet sleeper
on the regular overland trains of the Union
Pacific a great convenience.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

People are very aps to forget the things
they cannot do in recOllecting the things
they can do
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

To face danger is no sign of a hero: there
are times when a man is too scared to run.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18
The Difficulty Experienced

All men are not homeless, but some meD
are home less than Others
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

If afflicted with sore eyes, use DIR. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it.25c
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

The penalty of a strong constitution
through life is that it takes longer TO die.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

Not every budding idea that shoots hits
the mark.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

If there is tune you hate you are sure to
whistle it.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

For Is years / was SIN.
noyed with catarrh. dis.
charges into my throat, un.
pleasant breath and severe
pain in my head. My senss
of smell was much impaired
| have overcome these
troubles with Ely's Cream
Balm.-I. B. Case, Prop'l
Secour House, B'klyn.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-04-18

Sold b. Dsuggfas Gad Dealers Erey,rATe.
The Charlie A. voge,or Co., Balto., Md.
Mower County transcript., 1889-10-30
TAoPl.

Crops are good. but water is scarce.
Farmers are finishing up their fall work.
A. Bell was married last week to Miss
Bruntih.
I. Lukens handles the mail like an old post
master
Prof, Adams is pleasing his patrons in the
village district.
John Potter, from Grand Haven, Mich, has
located among us.
Mrs. Davis entertalns the ladies' society
this week Thursday.
Miss A. Mcintyre is teaching with success
in the Keough district.
Alleman, wife and Youngest daughter are
visiting friends in Indiana.
A. Billings has occupied the Mltkens house
and expects to occupy it next season.
Cheap lands are being taken up in this sec
tion. and some farms have changed hands.
The young folks basket social last Friday
evening was pleasant affair, besides realiz-
ing IS.
Mr.. Whitney has been elected superintend-
ent of our Sunday school, The school is in a
prosperous condition.
SCHOOL REPORT.
Report of school in District 80, village of
Taopi, for the month ending October Is, 1889 ::
ance, 26; per cent of daily attendance S7A
The following are the names OF those whose
average standing is above 80: Jennie Holmes,
Mabel Campbell, Herbert Corbltt, Ethel Cor
bitt, Minnie Johnson, Freddie Farley, Edith
Corbitt, Ada Johnson. A. G. ADAMS.
Teacher.
Mower County transcript., 1889-10-30
SUTTON.

Last week Friday was busy day for Sut-
ton. The farmers of the Center Alliance were
unloading their cars.
DR.. Brainerd and family of Stacevville, Ia,
an old acquaintance of Mr. Seebach made him
very pleasant call last week Tuesday on his
way home from Zumbrota
John Christgau, while in Austin last Satur-
day, was kicked by one of his own horses.
which laid him up for few days. John ought
to be better acquainted with his horses.
We wish to say to those who were disap
pointed at church last Sunday. try it again.
and don't sulk- Perhaps the second or third
time you will be we'll rewarded. They should
also consider that it is fatIguing for one to
travel who is only accustomed to life in the
city.
Married, on the eighth of October at the
home of the bride, Miss Louise Hess of St.
Paul TO the Rev. Mr.. Haas of Sutton. We
hope that the union may prove to be one upon
which the good angels smile, and that it may
bring jov, peace and prosperity to the happy
couple.
And now a few words about cinch clubs
The east and west sides had another game
The score stood four to two in favor of the
east, and one game with the south side, fiYe to
four in favor of the east. Now you fellows
who were SO elated a few weeks ago, put this
in your pipes and smoke it.
Mower County transcript., 1889-10-30
oAklA Nd.

Anyone wanting wood can be supplied by
calling on NJ. o. O'Leary.
F. Beckel has fine yearling bull for sale
or trade for other stock. FAC.
The Oakland mayor is still digging potatoes.
He says he will fill the bill for Mcbride or he
will dig all winter. $sS. ~
Richard Davenport has gone to York; state
to visit his brother, who is quite feeble and Ia
not expected to live. g.- j. F II ~z>.
Wonder whose grease the soap man was
after. In his usual rounds last week he car
ried hog hook and shotgun.
Mark Williams smiled all over his face and
part way down his back when he found big
boy had come to his house to stay. =
Wonder if Jim Duucan's family has all ar
rived vet. They have been coming piece at
n time for several weeks from Dakota.
Miss Matte Hemstreet, who has been visit
ing friends here for few weeks, returned to
her home in Cedar City on Saturday last.
c. Harris says he don't see why horse can
not live in a hole all winter as we'll as wood
chuck, so he put his in for an experiment.
The weather continues dry and has the ap-
pearance of freezing up without any rain. 1t
so, what will the poor farmer do for water for
his stock1 .z -
Sidney D. says: ''The summer being ended
and l have harvested my corn, straightway ]
will 60 a courting. as it is getting cold, and ]
cannot longer sleep alone.
Mower County transcript., 1889-10-30

In conjunction with the Erie;System operates
Daily Fast Vestibuled Trains to the seaboard.
You may travel in the most Elegant and Com.
plete Pullman Vestibuled Trains ever oon-
strueted M Ct and save d SO to New York, Bpmalo %
and % to Boston and New England Cities.
No rival Line offers the advantages OF q
System Of through first and second-class
Pullman Vestibnle Day Coaches and Dining
Cars Chicago to New York.
1t ts the only line operating Pullman cars
to Boston and New England via Albany.
Entire train is lighted by gas, heated BY
steam, Pullman dining cars run through In
either direction. s.l II /.
These luxurious trains are open. to all
time and 'a'
For detailed information, tickets and reser.
yations II Pullman oars apply to your local
ticket agent or the agency of con-
neoting lines OF railway. OF to City Ticket
0moes, 1W CLARK st.; Grand Paoido Hotel;
g. y. BEACH, F.C. DONALD,
General Manager. Gen. Pass. Agent. |
.3s :a- CHICAGO.
Mower County transcript., 1889-10-30
bayfield,.

The hne weather continues.
A car Of hogs was shipped from here last
Monday. . ..... .ss'
Mrs. Stein Of Waltham visited Mrs. Beamau
Tuesday. .~...@@.s.... :.z...<. 5
Mrs. George Hunt and daughter, Miss Anna,
were in Hayheld Tuesday visiting Mrs. VIII:
Symes. @.~ ~ss}' =
The L. H. c., entertained by Mrs. Garrison
last Wednesday afternoon and evening, wal
well attended and went OF very pleasantly.
The village school was closed last Thurs
day. Mr.. Mills having business at Ma1torville
Mr.. Aguire and Mr.. Mills we1t to Dubuque
last Saturday, returning Sunday morning.
Mr.. and Mrs. F. Mccartney spent sunda,
with friends In the country. ~ !
Mr.. Coleman expects to move to his farm
near Pine Island this week. .~: y
Elder Way will preach at the school hous,
next Friday evening. November I. ~
There was three car loads OF stock shippe,
from here last Saturday.