Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-07-10
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
A Very Mean Man-Why shopping Con.
sumes So Much Time-A Query.


A Very Menu Man-why shopping Con-
sumes So Much Time-A Query.
HE is a very mean man who tries to cheat q
newsboy
On Monday afternoon, in an Allegheny street
car, encountered man of immense mean
ness. He was stout and tall, beefy as to CON-
plexion; small, watery blue eyes under dilapi-
dated eyebrows looked out beside a nose of the
crushed strawberry color and form, and his
beard was of the neutral-tinteo, struggling
character that SO often indicates mean dispo-
sItion. His cuffs we're in mourning, and his
collar was wilted into three-told wreck. He
had big, puffy hands which were nearly all the
time paving his knees
From the whole appearance Of the man I
judged that the only generosity he ever had
been guilty of involved himself as beneficiary.
There were many signs in his face and CLOTH
ing which indicated that he drank beer to ex-
cess. will be bound he buys his beer by the
keg and drinks it alone in his back yard.
%.s
A NEwsBoY entered the car with bundle of
afternoon papers under his arm. "All about
the big prize fightr' he cried. The man
described above said: "Gimme paper"
The boy handed him the last edition of the
Chronicle Telegraph. The man took it, un-
folded it, held 1t up, and read all the news OF
the night the paper contained. This took two
minutes at least. Then he handed 1t back to
the newsboy with the remark: Il guess this
isn't the last edition-they'll be issuing an extra
later on-I don't want this
The newsboy was a quiet, inoffensive little
fellow; but as he replaced the paper in his
bundle. he said: 81 guess you're fraud, 1
dol"
And the boy was about right in the opinion
Of the dozen or so of men and women who saw
the affair.
You hear men jeer at women often about
the time the latter consume shopping. Till
yesterday I thought there were grounds
enough for the jokes at our sisters, sweet
hearts, wives and mothers expense on this
score.
1t chanced that / was commissioned yester-
day to purchase three spools of silk thread
three little spools that would occupy the space
of fair sized watch in ones pocket
At ten minutes to ten in the morning en-
tered ore of the largest drygoods stores in the
two cities. AS had expected was directed
from one counter to another until had con-
versed with two foor-walkers and six sales
women. This did not surprise or annoy me.
Stores are SO big these days that 1t is absurd
for anyone not daily visitor to them to expect
to reach the desired goal without many di-
rections.
AT last the right counter loomed up with the
right girl behind it She found the spools OF
thread in no time, wrapped them up and asked
for 10 cents. gave her quarter. She put the
coin in wooden ball and sent it to the cashiers
desk by the ingenious system of railroads now
SO generally IN use in city stores. Then 1
waited. Then / waited some more. Then 1
kept on waiting for ten minutes or so. Then
the ball came back. The bill and the quarter
L.; rt,o fhaN% %ka
cashier refused to take the quarter because it
was mutilated. The quarter was not mutt
lated. 1t had an indentation upon it near the
rim the size of pins head that could not pos
sibly prevent the passage Of the coin anywhere
else. But handed over another quarter. per-
feet to the last degree. Ten minutes more
elapsed and the change came back.
At 1925 left the store. Amount of purchase:
Three spools Of thread at 10 cents. Time con-
eumed, IS minutes. When one thinks of the
multitude Of articles woman has to buy at
the stores the wonder is that she ever gets out
of them.
IF the elixir of life has really been discovered
by DR.. Brown-Sequard, and it is put within the
reach Of all men to obtain it, will not the
neglect to use 1t practically amount to suicidef
What is suicide but refusal of the individ-
ual human being to liver He who fails to pre-
serve his life commits suicide. If the key to
eternal life upon this earth is put at our dis
posai, shall We be justified in rejecting it The
question is too large for discussion here.
merely suggest it as quaint consequence of
the alleged discovery by DR.. Brown-Sequard.
So
In popular restaurant the other day
noticed very prominent merchant of this city
tanning himself vigorously with a cheap jap
anese fan. Suddenly l observed that he
paused looked intently at the fan, his face
grew red, and he muttered something under
his breath. He threw the fan to the other side
of the table with a contemptuous air.
Then took up fan and read on it the name
of mercantile rival of the gentleman had
observed.