The Press., 1889-01-24
1FI WERE A BOY AGAIN

If were boy again, endowed with the same wild passion for plucking watermel- ons in the dark of the moon, I would no doubt, fall victim to that evermastering passion as I did before, but looking at ir as do now, I would be wiser B ,ys Cal. not, however, have the m,ture judgment of manhood without the experience aud the rheumatism that go with it. Su it IS better that in our childhood we may be able to eat raw turnip with safety, and know something later on in life.
 I notice great change in myself while comparing my present condition with that of joyous boyhood. Then had no sense. but had good digestion. Now haven't even the digestion.
 The hurrying years have c.vorted over my sunny head until they have worn it smooth, but they have left good deal yet for me to learn. I am still engaged ill learning during the day and putting arnica on my experience at night.
 Childhood is said to be the most glad -ome period in our lives, and iu some re- spects this statement may be regarded as reliable, but it is not all y. have had just as much fun in later years as l dId ill boy hood, though the people with whom I have been thrown in contact claim that their experience has been different. hope they do not mean anything personal by that
 Id, sometimes wish that could be a boy az in, but I smother that wish on ac count of my parents. What they need most Is rest aud change of scene. They still eui y children. but they would like a chance to select tue children with whom they associate.
 My parents were blessed with i've bright eyed aud beautiful little boys, three of whom grew mp and by that m: ans brcame adults am in that condition myself. was the eldest of the family with tue ex- ception of my parents. 1 am still that way. My early life was rather tempestuous in places, occasionally fecked with sunshine, but more frequently with retribution. was not a very good roadster when young, and so retribution was most always just in the act of overtakiDg me. While outraged justice was getting in its work on me the other boys escaped through small aper- ture iu the fence.
 That is another reason why 1 do not yearn to be boy again.
 When we ran away from school to catch clubs, and when we built fire to cook them and the fire got into the tall dry grass and burned four miles of fence and sixteen tons of hay for a gentleman for whom I had high regard, ,and went back to put out the fre-the other boys escaped and have SO remained ever since.
 A just retribution has never had any difficulty in overtaking me and walking up and down ever my wishbone.
 When party of us had been engaged in gathering Easter eggs ill the barn of gen. tleman who was away from home at the time and he returned just as we had filled our pockets with the choicest vintage of his sun-kissed hens, the other boys escaped while was occupying the attention of the dog, and had to slide out the second story of the barn. 1t is still fresh in my mind as I write. I wore my fathers vest at tic time and it was larger than was necessary My father was larger than at that time, for was only years of age and had moi arrived at my full stature. In sliding per end of it was loose and that my flowing vest had slipped over it, so that when got down about four feet hung with tn, board buttoned inside my bosom and thu scrambled eggs oozing out of my knicker lockers.
 The batten had sprung back against thu barn in such a way as to prevent my un bottonipg my vest, and while hung ther on the side of the barn like coon skin the proprietor came around and accused m of prematurely gathering his eggs.
 had heard truth very highly spoken 0 by people who had dabbled in it more o less, and so resolved to try it in this in stance. So I admitted that such was tn case, and it was the best thing could hay done, for the man said as I had been s frank with him he would take me down a soon as he got his other work done, an
 he was as good as his word. After he ha
 milked nine COWS and fed nine calves came around with ladder and took m down. He also spanked me and set tn
 dog on me, but did not mind that, for
 was accustomed to it. To hang on the sid
 of barn, however, like an autumn lea
 trying to kick large holes in the atmo;
 phere, is disagreeable.
 This incident cast gloom over my whol
 life. It has also reconciled me to the av
 full decree that can never be boy agail -BiH Nye: