Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-02-03

construction of our American theaters,
which are scantily supplied with boxes, he
is obliged to climb to his seat along row
of indignant playgoers, spreading devasta-
ton to bonnets, and disturbing the entire
audience as he goes. If, by chance, he goes
to a dance, he must not make his appear
ance until near midnight. and he must keep
it up until three or four in the morning,
just as they do in England, where all social
duties are arranged to accommodate them
selves to the fashionable hours. He keeps
this sort of thing up for six months in the
year.
His greatest exercise is walk up town,
or perhaps a week or two of yachting.
Then he wonders that he is not happy. He
looks at the ruddy cheeks and stalwart fig
ure of his British cousin, and marvels in his
dyspeptic soul that he can't burn his candle
at both ends and melt it in the middle and
still preserve the magnificent health OF the
man who lives quietly and does nothing but
adapt himself to society's demands.
l have spoken of young men because,
after all, society exists for young men and
young women, and the young women hon
estly try to make social duties as attractive
to the young men as possible. But they
made mistake when they tried to import
the five o'clock tea. They might be less
burdensome if they were thoroughly IN
formal, as they are in England, but when
cards are sent out and the affairs partake
of the character of an afternoon reception,
the limit Of uselessness and absurdity is
reached
1t steals from the man the hour which he
otherwise would have had in which to re-
l. ,,-s,, L,a h,,ui
ness worries of the day; it compels him to
eat something he does not want at just the
time he least needs it; it jeers at his lunch
and insults his dinner, and it sends its I'M
fortunate victims hurrying down to dyspep-
tics graves.
To be sure, pretty girl never looks more
irresistibly fascinating than when serving
tea, and after a leisurely day, with few
people in the room, softly illumined by
lamps and fairy tapers, it affords abundant
chance for those delightful, innocent firta-
tons so dear to the souls of the healthy
minded of both sexes. But the formal
brushes which are masquerading under the
title of five o'clock tea in New York are
snare and delusion, utterly without reason
and void of enjoyment. The only possible
recommendation that they can have is that
they enable people of frugal mind to dis
charge social obligations at minimum of
expense. But they are becoming more
popular.
WHY ironmongers are devisIng the most
charming little tea-kettle stands, and trades
men in all branches are conspiring, by sell
ing the dalntiest of crockery and table
linen, against the peace of mind and bodily
health of the American young man. For his
sake aud in the cause of social harmony ]
raise my voice IN earnest and dyspeptic pro-
test. / appeal to the young women OF the
land; if you must look charming behind the
tea-kettle, and no one will insist more firmly
than ] that you do, make your teas in
formal; let us drop in in the same delight
full fashion that Sairy Camp took her gin
.'when so dispoged." Don't send US invita-
tons which are tantamount to commands to
come and drink tea and MUNICH sweet crack
ers with you after day down town when
clients have been fractions and the judge
has decided against US; when wheat has
dropped as if it were lead, and stocks we
were short on have gone up like rockets, or
when the composltor has set up ''monocle,"
which is the single eye-glass affected by
swells, making it read "manacle," which
means something quite different
ALLAN FoRMAN.