River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1889-10-17
The DEAR OLD DAYS.
According to Grandma wedds Travelling
Isn't What 1t Used to BE.
ToOo

1929
Scene.-A rocky road in the Catskill
Mountains. The passengers are de-
scending from stage-coach, TO enable
the tired horses to pull it up steep
hill. Mr. Edwin Wedde is helping out
his bride. Angelina
Angelina (alighting)-I vow and
protest Edwin, | shall faint with fa-
tigue! Another OF these shocking hills
to climb, and my legs are so cramped
that can hardly set one foot before
the otheri
Edwin-Gad. believe youl Deyv'lish
hole, that back seat.
Angelina-Don't swear, Edwin. /
could endure it all il 1t we're not for
that hideous man In the blue surtout
Faugh, where are my salts? 1t makes
me faint to think of it. What may the
wretch be-a shoemaker?
Edwin-Dem'd tanner. j fancy.
Angelina-Don't swear, Edwin. But
such people should have separate con-
veyances for themselves. i suppose
there's no hope OF that, though-we're
too democratic in this country.
Edwin-Ya-as. Too cursed demo-
cratic by half.
| Angelina-Don't swear, Edwin.
Your arm, dearest or positively can
not go another step. And / suppose it
will be hours and hours before we reach
the inland then nothing but hot
bread and lukewarm tea, and one rush
light on the table! 0 Edwin-put your
arm around me, dear-it's so dark I'm
sure no one can see us-that's better
o Edwin what did we come here for?
Edwin-For the dashed scenery.
Angelina-Don't swear, Edwin. But
| haven't seen thing all day through
that contemplate little window. And
| can't abide riding outside, for the
! dust o Edwin, | wish we had wings
and could ny hundred miles in a day
Couldn't you invent something to make
us go hundred miles in a day?
Edwin (who feels that his bride is
becoming silly There's a consumed
maniac down in Baltimore who tows
people behind tea-kettle on wheels fiji
teen miles an hour. May be thats your
fancy
Angelina Don't swear Edwin. I'm
sure | wish we were behind his tea
kettle now. that's pozl Don't YOU,
Edwin
Edwin denim we'll do.
1899.
Scene "A buffet-ca. on a vestibule-
train. The passengers are eating lunch
con. Young Mr.. L. McAllister Wedde
and his sister, Angie. who are taking
their aged grandparents to Cal
'ornia, devote themselves to their
| aged charges. Angie cuts up her
grandmothers chicken, and E Meal
lister carefully pours his grandfathers
burgundy.
Grandmother Wedde-Ah, my dears,
it's all very NICE and we're much oblig-
/ ed to you. I'm sure. for taking so much
trouble with two stupid old people, but
travelling isn't what it used to be. Is
4 it, Edwin?
Grandfather Wedde (who is slightly
deaf, Eth? McAllister. 4on't take that
burgundy
Grandmother Wedde--It isn't like
the old stage-coach days, as your grand
father says. No boxing you up in q
great big car, with all sorts and condi-
lions of people, and whirling you
through the country 80 fast that you
can't get glimpse OF the scenery. All,
/ DO you remember our wedding-trip.
! Edwin2
Grandfather Wedde-Eh? You did
shake the burgundy, McAlister.
GRANDMOTHER Wedde All, you are
right, dear, that was travelling. We
went all through the Catskills in
siage-coach-no dust, no smells. no
crowding and put up at night at the
oveliest little inns, eating fresh country
! food. And then sometimes when they
wanted to rest the horses. we would get
out and take the most delightful walks
up the hills--yOu remember our walks
mp the hills, Edwin?
Grandiathec Wedde-Eh? What?
Hills? Who Don't know them. You
meet all sorts OF people on these infer
nal railroad trains, my dear-dOn't
have any thing TO do with 'emi Give
me another glass. McAllister, and don't
| shake it this time, confouud it!
| grandmother Nedde (sighing) II m
afraid railroad travelling ism good for
your grandfathers health. He never
used TO swea" so!-Puck.