Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1889-08-22
Helena Montana, Thursday, August u, 1889.
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
Mr.. BOwser Demonstrates His Pres.
ence of Mind in Case of Fire.


Mrs. Bowser, it is possible that this
house may take fire some time," observed
Mr.. Bowser as he laid aside his paper the
other evening.
"Yes."
"If it takes fire while am at home all
1 expect of you is to take the child and get
out doors. shall peril my life to subdue
the confisgration, and if find it cannot be
done shall save all the valuables."
perhaps could help you."
sand perhap you couldn't. You'd do
more damage than good if you tried to. 1
want you to remember to get right out and
stay out"
II have been told that have great pres
ence of mind, Mr.. Bowser."
"Yes, and you may have heen told that
you were the Empress of Russia. Presence
of mind! There isn't woman on earth
who'd have presence of mind enough in
case of fire to save her. own shoes! All l
want of you is to follow my directions"
It was singular that the test should
come so soon. In lighting the gas in the
hall up stairs Mr.. BOwser must have
dropped the match upon rug lying near.
We were hardly in bed before l smelled
smoke but when / mentioned the fact Mr..
BOwser grOwled:
Nonsense! The cook probably threw
some egg shells into the range when she
was clearing up her supper dishes. Your
nose is always smelling fire or burglars or
sewer gas, and it is always wrong"
He went to sleep and 1 continued to sniff
that odOr. Ten minutes after Mr.. Bowser
had uttered bic first snore thick cloud of
smoke poured into our bedroom all of a
sudden, and at the same moment the dark
ness was lighted up by a fickering flame.
The house was certainly on fire, and l
shook Mr.. Bowser and informed him of the
fact.
"W-what is it?" he gasped as he sat up
in bed.
1.-THE house is on fire! Can't you see the
smoke and blaze?'
1 was on the floor and dressing when he
rolled out of bed, sprang to the door, and
shouted at the top Of his voice:
Murder! Police! Fire! We are all on
fire up here"
well, slip on your clothes and see if
you can't put it out. 1t must be in the
back hall"
Fire! Fire Fire!" he yelled as he
sought to pull on his pants. Our house is
on fire We shall be burned alivew
In spite of the peril of the situation had
to laugh at Mr.. Bowser's antics. He first
got the left leg in the right leg of the pants.
Then he fell over in getting out OF them ;
got up and drew them on hind side before,
and he was sprawled out on the bed and
kicking them off when l was all dressed
and ready to leave the room. was deter
mined to see where the fire was before 1
took the baby and went down stairs. The
smoke was very thick, but the tongue of
flame guided me down the hall, and l
found the rug and base board and door
casing ablaze.
Fire Fire! Fire" yelled Mr.. Bowser
at this moment as he dashed into the hall.
"Come and help me put it out !" called
to him, but he was already on his way
down stairs to the telephone.
Covering my mouth and nose as well
as 1 could felt my way to the lavatory.
There was nothing but tumbler at hand,
but after l had filled it several times and
dashed it's contents along the base l saw
that l had the best of the blaze. After
opening a window to let the smoke drive
out / brought some more water and extin-
guished the last of the fire. Meanwhile l
could not help but hear Mr.. Bowser. He
rushed to the telephone and rang it con-
tinously for twenty seconds, and then
yelled:
"Hello, central! Hello. central! Fire |!
FIRE. Fire! My house is on fire! Send
up the police and three engines right
awayw
He couldn't wait for an answer, but took
three or four circuits around the dining
room, made dash into the parlOr and out
by the front hall, all the time yelling "fIe"
at the top of his voice, and then it occurred
to him to 90 to the fire alarm box down at
the corner. Out he rushed, barefooted and
bareheaded, and after trying for half a
minute to pull the box off the post he ran
to the residence where the key was kept.
His shouts and yells had aroused every
hody within half mile, and the possessor
of the key threw up his window and
called
"Is that you, Bowser ?"
"Yes, it's me. My house is on irew
"Sure? l didn't see any light over
there"
sits on fire from cellar to garret, and 1
expect my wife and child have perished in
the flames"
"That is awful. Here's the key"
Mr. Bowser not only turned in one alarm
but he kept on sending them until the
first steamer arrived, and the driver of it
ordered him away from the box and called
him q blank fool Five engines came rush
ing up, and 1 had got the smoke out of the
hall and was down stairs when dozen
firemen dashed upstairs to fight the con-
hagration. 1 showed them upstairs to in
vestigate. Mr.. Bowser went with them
After they got through laughing they
turned on Mr. Bowser. They called him
by one hundred and fifty different titles,
besides advising him to 20 and sandpaper
and soak his head. They sneered at his
excuses and laughed at his explanations,
and as they retired one of them remarked:
Its good thing for you, old bow-legs,
that you've got guardianw
When they had gone and we were left to
ourselves Mr.. Bowser looked very important
and observed:
We'll, l made mighty short work of that
blaze"
You! What did you do ?" I asked.
"What did / do? Mrs. Bowser, do you
intend to claim any credit for extinguish-
ing that blaze ?"
81 do. But for me the house would have
gone, Mr.. Bowser. You were so ratified
that you acted like crazy man."
"What! You put out the fire ratified |!
Mrs. Bowser, this is too much. l see
through the conspiracy. On several occa-
sions you have driven me to the limit.
This is beyond the limit. shall see my
lawyer in the morning"
But when morning came he forgot all
about it. He was too busy bringing the