The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1889-03-19
lie 6OWSER FAMILY.
Mrs. Bowser chats SIosi Pleasantly About
Her Provoking Husband.


and hope every wife tries To bear up
under them with philosophical pa
thence. The other sunday morning.
! FIVE minutes after Mr.. Bowser had
gone to his room To get ready for
church, he roarcd al me over the BAN
| lister:
Mrs. Bowser. are you the woman
of the house or only lady boarder?"
why, dear?"
Don't why dear me, Mrs. Bowser!
If pretended 10 be housekeeper I'd
look after things once in awhiler'
ANY thing wrong?"
ANY thing wrong! Do waste my
breath in talking when every thing is
all right?"
What is it?" | asked as reached
the head of the stairs
He held clean shirt in one hand.
and with the other he pointed TO il
with a dramatic flourish and whis-
pered:
"Buttonsr'
''ButtOns-hOw?'
Not "A solitary button on this shirt,
and yet YOU Eal tim" to rad down
town every day. That The kind of
wife Won arei'
Mr.. Lnwscr. 10 YOU mean shirt
buttons:
DO /. You don't suppose I'm look
ing ior ovcrco@t button on nay shirts,
do yOu?"
We'll. then. goa haven't had shirt
button on YOU. -birt- fns ten years.
You and al others use co.larhuttons.
Your coi.@r-but;ons are in the shirt
you have un."
II s:rEc,, him all in a heap. He saw
how ne had trapped himself. bat he
went TO his room mlttcring:
That's il, She always has an eX-
cuse ready tor every thing!'
One awful not day in July he spoke
about changing llis socks after his
bath. and told him IN the piainest of
English that ne would find clean ones
in his lower bureau drawer. That
night he came home and began:
Can you tell me what day during
the next month YOU will have two
minutes TO spare?"
.:Why?"
Because, If you ever get them. per-
maps you can devote few seconds to
daining the holes in my socks. I've
had to limp around all the afternoon
Oh that account.
1T can't ber'
''Oh, no, You are such a model
hOusekeeper that il can't be. OF course,
Look here
He pulled of his shoes and 10, he
had on his heavy winter socks. every
thread wool, There were two or three
holes. but they were not to be darned
until fall. OF course.
''Mr. BOwser. where did YOU get those
sOcks?" | asked.
''Out of the trunk in the clothes
press, of course"
And you 20 and put on January
socks in July. You have six pairs of
clean cotton socks in the lower drawer
of the bureau"
I'll bet you $40, 0Oo there isn't even
one pair therci looked through every
drawer five times over
took him up and showed him the
socks, counting them out pair by pair,
and he looked at me very seriously and
observed:
Yes. see 'em. but were they there
when looked for EN-? How easy for
you to have sneaked up and placed EN-
here an hour ago."
He had some wearing apparel which
he said ] might sell to buy some toys
for the baby. ! got the clothes down
and went through every pocket twice
over. In one of the coats | found
reccipted bill for twenty-six dollars
worth OF lumber. and / laid il on Mr.
Bowser's desk. A man came for. the
clothes and took them away. and three
hours later, when Mr.. BOwser came
home. told him OF my bargain.
You got just half what he would
have paid me-" he replied. and the
subject WAS dropped for half IN hour.
Then all of Il sudden he jumped up
and exclaimed:
You've finally done il. just as / ex-
pected you would"
Done WHAT"
al remember that | left a valuable |
paper in that brown coat II was a |
receiptcd lumber bill and they may
send the bill again any day.
IL looked in the pockets"
''Oh, yes. you looked, You looked !
just like any other wife who was in a
hurry TO get the clothes out of the
house and the money in her hand"
j went and got the receipt and asked
him if that was the one. He grudg-
ingly admitted that it was. and added:
81 presume the old clO' man found and |