Morning journal and courier., 1889-11-25
TALES.

A swallow tail-The story of Jonah and the whale-Boston Bulletin.
 When a woman asks for some pin.mon does she mean she will only needle little.- Life.
 What pity it is that, with all the keys 8 piano has, not one of them locks it up.- Burlington Free Press.
 In the National flower discussion the mar ry-gcld and the today blossom have been grossly neglected
 Simple language is the most forcible, even when you have lost your overshoe in the mud.-Somerville Journal.
 When girl falls in love she stops saying her prayers, but after she is married she be- gins them again.-Atchison Globe.
 One reason why fat man doesn't catch cold as easily as lean man, is because he is so much wrapped up in himself. f.-Burling- ton Free Press.
 Social Amenities. Miss Vera Oldun- :sHe said was as sweet as sugar." Miss Minnie Ball (with 8 glance at her friends complexion)-"Powdered sugara"-Puck.
 "Will the coming man ays" asks a scien- spell of rainy weather, the Booming man" will have to swim as soon as he gets here.- Norristown Herald. It All Depended on Tim.-"By the way, Bridget" said Mrs. Bland the other morn- ing, Chow old are you?" s'Shure mim," said Bridget, as she poured three gallons of kerosene on piece of wood two inches square in the stove, "I wuz just sivin months older than me brother Tim, and if he lives till next October I'll be twinty-four. ."- Life
 Superstition pays: Edith Cat Monte Carlo, in an audible whisper)-stIll put this louis 1tor bo hay of nv 3ro sure it will win." (Places the coin on 19. The ball is twirled and settles on the compart- ment marked 29.) Ethter-"Oh, Edith, why didn't you place it upon the right one! Only think-you would have won 36 louis."- Puck.
 About time it did: City Cousin-"How's your father, Jamess' Country Cousin s'Father isn't very we'll" City Cousin-"He must be getting along in years." Country City Cousin-"What seems to be the matter with himq" Country Cousin-"Can't just say; guess farming is beginning to tell on him."-Time.
 Thoughtful Parent-"Henry, why will you consent to be good for nothing all your lifea" Henry-"But, father, I can't get any, thing to do, and you know I've tried hard enough" Thoughtful Parent-"N "Nonsensel Your chances are as good az your brother JOuus. AWO yodl5 dSo uo nuuut coAe to his name. What did he doi Why, he just went to work esarting eratsrnal insurance so- cieties: and now look at himi he's worth fifty thousand if he's worth dollar. ."-Boston Transcript.
 A discussion arose on board an Atlantic liner a short time ago as to the citizenship of a gentleman at the other end of the saloon. "He's an Englishman," said one, "l know by his head"
 "He's Scotchman," ]" said another, "I know by his complexion"
 "He's Gernan," said another, 'sI know by his beard"
 The young ladies thought he looked little Spanish. Here the conversation rested, but soon one of them spoke:
 "I have it," said she, "hes an American; he's got his legs on the table."-Ocean. How oft we consider, with fond recollection,
 The friends that we made when we last sailed the
 main.
 We parted from many with honest affection,
 Regretting we never should see them again. The captain and the crew, while we lived on the
 ocean,
 To add to our comfort no effort would spare And even the cook, with touching devotion,
 Every day in the soup sent us locks of his hair.
 Judge.