davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
FUNNY MEMS FANCIEs.

Moses was of a retiring disposition-he
got out Of the rush early in life.-HoteL Mail.
The water lily keeps its head above water
about as well as anything we think Of just now
Bin0hGmptoB Republican.
Compensation.-Mrs. .Cobwigger-My hus-
band, I'm sorry to say, is a man OF very little
taste.
Cora--That must be very nice for you, for heard
ma say your cooking was dreadful. --Aarper's Bd-
Observant Florence.-Florence (6 years
old)--Mamma, do dogs get marrieds
Mother-No. my dear.
Florence--Then what right has Hark to growi
at Jennie when they are eating their breakfast2--
Hdrper's BdzGr.
Better Late Than Never-"Why didn't
you marry your husband IS years ago? He would
have taken you then, - said an Austin lady to 9
newly-married friend.
al know, but Is years ago he was too old to suit
me."-Teras Strings.
Mamma" said little girl, "you know
the story in our reader about the King who never
smiled again?''
Eyes, dear.n
'WeiI. does that mean that he signed the
pledge?''-- Washington Capital
Passed the Budget-He (reading the
paper)--I see that the French Chamber Of Depu-
ties passed the budget yesterday.
wife-Passed the budget? Without picking It
mp Perhaps Il contained something valuable.
i've heard Of tramps' budgets being searched and
lots of money found hidden away.-Terds SCft-
tngs.
HINT TO SEASIDE VISITORS.
Don't try to ring walking cane,
Or beat the thimble-rigger;
You spend your money all in vain
Upon Aunt Sally's hgger.
To have some fun, grow ripe and mellow,
And watch them fleece some other fellow
-NeU York Evenfn0 Sus,
NO NATIVE LAND TO LOVE.
"A base migrate indeed Is he,
And worthy Of the keenest scorn,
Who for one moment fails to be
Proud Of the land where he was born"
''such invectives. sir, must confess,
Can never be applied to me;
have no land to love, to bless
For I, alas was born at sear'
frank H. Stdnrer, In Hdrper's Bdzdr.
The Historical Telephone.-Philip H.
Give me Brussels IS. so2.
Brussels-An right.
Philip-Is that you, Alva?
Philip-whst are the Brussels papers talking
about,
Alva-Baseball.
Phillp-what. that stuff about johnson missing
easy fly to Podgers, and snooks going out to
Gofin on passed ball?
Alva-Yes.
Philip-start the fnquisition tomorrow morn
Ing! Hing of.-Sosscn Zranscrtpt
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

WITH reference to the protection of
Southern products, the Louisville Courier
Journal declares ''thst sugar alone produced
nearly $50, ,OoO, 900 of revenue, and that the
duty on raw sugar is almost purely a rev.
enue duty" The characteristic of a revenue
duty which is 50 per cent of the value of the
article-when it is on Southern product
is so unique that it points irresistibly to the
conclusion that if the duty had been 100 per
cent, as in the case of rice, the esteemed
Courier-Journal would have considered it
quite purely" a revenue duty.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

THE proposition that the Republican
State Convention shall put in its platform a
resolution condemning the trusts, and call
ing for their suppression, is made by the
esteemed Philadelphia Press. 1t is to be
hoped that the suggestion will be adopted.
1t may also be hoped that the resolution
will amount to something more than the
resolution which the Republican convention
adopted three years ago. pledging the Legis-
lature to anti-discrimination legislation
which vas never passed.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
her FRIEND.

Marie has lovers half q score,
She wears them as she does her gloves;
One pair when driving ON the shore,
Another for the modest loves
Of country lanes, mid flowers and dew
"a whirl that never seems to end)-
And yet, all seriously and true,
Imuch prefer tobe her friend!
When tired of CharIey's tennis talk.
And wearied quite with Georges drawi;
wnen sated with the moonlight walk
After the ennui OF a ball
All, then she takes my arm in hers,
And to her rare moods attend,
Beneath the pines and jumpers
And still I'd rather be her friendi
Her soul is like an open book,
Wherein the purest thoughts read;
No strangers tween its covers look,
Or, glimpsing, feel no anxious need.
The utmost trust she asks OF me.
That trust where two twin natures blend;
My comrades woo right calamity
But would rather be her friend!
We read for hours in quiet hooks
The few deep authors of our cheicei
Somehow, the music OF the brooks
Is not SO sweet as her low voice
And while the breakers strike the beach
And over, under, curve and bend.
Her heart my heart doth truly teach,
Until-but must be her fr1endI
Sometimes the thought win daring rise,
When touch OF hand hssithrilled me through.
And I'm her tender girlish eyes
One secs the heavens rejected blue
What would DO II she SOME day
Her wedding cards to ME should send
could not truly, frankly say:
IT'S better just 10 be het friendi
-Wtusam HasksH Stnbsos n oAsoage Hsses.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

INSTRUCTION as well as corroboration Of
the position taken in a recent article in this
column is furnished by the news that Con-
gresham Brewer. of North Carolina, has
been placated. He will get what postoficed
he wants, and will be loyal to the Republi-
can slate in the organization of the House
Loyalty that is matter of barter and trade
is a libel on the genuine article.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
A RAILROAD CENSUS,
The Cosmopolitan Passengers on nm Amer
lean Railroad Train.

The Cosmopolitan Passengers on nm Amer
lean Railroad Train.
From the ST. Paul Globe.y
one recent afternoon and polled a transconti-
mental train on the Northern Pacific before it
pulled out for its 1,9OO-mile journey toward
the Occident He sought information as to
nationalities, and found representatives from
Asia Minor, Russia, Turkey in Europe,
Switzerland, Hungary, Austria, Italy, Spain,
France, Prussia, Belgium, the three divisions
of Great Britain, Sweden, Norway and Den
mark (of course) and one Algerian on board.
With these were representatives from Il States
and Territories in the United States and 8 of
the South American divisions. As nearly as
this amateur statistician could gather, 20 per
stay, 20 per cent were tourists and 10 per cent
had temporary business along the line of the
railway.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
HE WANTS TO EMIGRATE.


The Equipment One Man VIII Bring to the
United States.
The following advertisement, printed ap-
parently in the best of faith, appeared in q
recent edition of the London Chronicle:
MATRIMONIAL young man, aged 33, of
good, healthy habits, thoroughly demesticated
and sociable, profession compositor violinist,
possessing the gifts Of the poet, with an ac-
cumulation of 120 poems in 5000 lines, also
1000 lines of prose fiction, all original and un-
published, is wishful to make the acquaint-
ance of Christian young person, between the
age of "a and 80 with friends abroad UNITED
States preferred); widow with little means not
objected to; view, matrimony and emigration.
Address w. r. Barnes. IL Marlborough
Crescent, Newcastle-on-Tyne"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
TRI-STATE TRIPLES.

SUIT for $3.50 damages has been brought
against Samuel Wertheimer, dealer in gem
tlemen's furnishing goods by William Eek
hardt of Philadelphia, who claims that he was
made sick by wearing underclothing bought
from Wertheimer as medicated flannel.
AYoUNG man who has lately fallen into
$4,000 is making o sensation in Columbia by
his dress and bearing on and OF his bicycle.
He wears a gauze shirt without sleeves, green
tights and bicycle shoes. His outft also in
cludes a pair Of pants with $50 buttons on them.
WILLIAM NAUMAN, of Mannheim, Pa, owns
a horse that has Just been shod for the first
time. having gone barefooted for % years.
AFArHER. mother and Is children-ten Of
them boys-have Just migrated from st. Mary's
to Punxsutawney, to better their fortunes.
The father is a miner, and said hopefully Of his
bows: "When they gets up the ten Of 'em will
be worth $50 month.
VAST wealth awaits in England two Phila-
delphia young women OF very moderate cir
cumstances-hiiss Ettie M. Scott and Mrs.
Schuyler Conger. BY the death Of John Scott
in London several years ago they became
heiresses to nearly 100000. but they never
knew of their good fortune until quite re-
Gently, when they came forward with their
claim in answer to AZ advertisement inserted
in the newspapers.
BRIsroI. folks were thrown into turmoil OF
excitement on Tuesday by the appearance In
their streets of great stalking giant, measur-
ing feet inches in his boots He had come
over from Trenton for a holiday.
MORE than l2O0 dead were buried in the old
Friends burying ground at Wrightstown,
Bucks county, by Sexton John Knowles during
the 43 years of his sextonship. Knowles was
laid to rest among them few days since.
IT was 1t . Photographic estzblishment In
Akron. A man came in to be taken. Tney
showed him samples of various styles. but
nothing suited. At last he exclaimed, pointing
at full-length picture: Il want photograph
of me entire system-like that"
"BUsYi" cried Wheeling clerk to An inquir-
ing friend. II should say waa am rushed
like growler."
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

The explanation of the large amount of
rainfall this year, most generally favored. is
to lay it on the Gnlf stream. That remark
able ocean current has no doubt large va
riety of weather; but some effort should be
made to induce it to ship its meteorological
consignments in rather less abrupt and over
whelming invoices.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

A SACRAMENTO, CAL, paper which is
an organ of the Central Pacific crowd, says
that the Canadian Pacific road has an ad-
vantage over our transcontinental lines in
that the latter have to pay back to the
Government their subsidies. This conveys the
startling information that the Central Pa
cifc people intend to repay the tidy little
sum that they owe the United States Treas
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
THEY WERE ALL DANDIES.
Prominent Men of Ancient and Modern Times
Who Dressed Well.

Who Dressed Well
From the Nashville Americana
Such men as Aristotle, Marcus Antonius,
Sir Humphrey Davy, Lord Palmerston, Byron,
Thackeray and our own George Washington
were regular dandies in their day, while even
in our own times men like Conkling, Hill and
Tilden were exquisites in their dress. Of the
present New York bar Chauncey Depew, one
of the leading spirits, is also one of the best
dressed men of that city, with Dan
Dougherty late of the Philadelphia bar
and now Of national fame, a close second. Of
the Philadelphia bar Brewster, Attorney Gen.
eral under President Arthur, was during his
life one of the best dressed men, being sur
passed in this respect only by Richard Vaux.
another leader of the same bar. There is a
great deal of difference between dandy and a
dude, for when dandy dresses only when he
has nothing else to do, dude does nothing
else but dress. But man may dress elegantly
without being either, and this is the happy
medium to be sought.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
JUG-HANDLED COMPROMISE.

The Detroit Free Press, in reply to a re-
mark THE DISPATCH made the other day
concerning the failure of the supporters Of
the Mills bill in Congress to accept the re-
duction on the sugar duties proposed by
Republican Congressman, practically ad-
mits what THE, DISPATCH said, and pro-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

The young Napoleon who recently cut
splurge in New York by running theater
and newspaper in the suburbs, has turned
out to be an arrant swindler. That would
not shake the faith of the New Workers in
his Napoleonic qualities if he had not made
the criminal blunder of being caught at it
without funds to buy his way out of the
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

THE investigation of the story about an
alleged conspiracy to steal the plates from
which money is printed in the Treasury
shows that it is almost impossible to steal
the plates. At the same time the success of
notorious "fnanciers" gives good reason to
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

PROFESSOR SULL1vAN's argument that
fighting is his trade permits the expression
of hope that before the Mississippi author
tiles get through with him they will teach
him another trade.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
His Regular Diet.

From the Baltimore Americana
In describing what noted men eat. q writer
says that Jay Gould likes a tender lamb chop.
Yes, he has grown rich on devouring lambs.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

BY beginning its work year before the
time for taking the census, the Census Bu-
reau permits hope that it will be able to
get the job finished in less time than nine
years after that date.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
New York's Latest Ambition.

From the Philadelphia Record;
What do you suppose is the latest? Why.
New York wants a tower for '92 that will DER
top old Eifers. Man is about the same in the
matter of aspiration as he was on the day when
the Creator gave the great stroke at Babel.
whereby some began to speak in one tongue
and some in another. They all want to 60 up,
but all except the balloonists take pains to tie
string to the old earth before they let 20 of
hnr
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
An UneuuaIed Climate.

From the Chicago News.1
A man fell into a Chicago basement the other
day and instead of breaking his bones, as he
probably would have done in any other city, he
was only drowned, Chicago's magnificent eli
mate is without a parallel.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
Candor.

From Society,"
"why are you heref
Burglary"
How long are you in forf'
"Six years."
'Now, honestly, If You had your life
to live over, would you not chose q better
pathr'
"Yes'm. I'd be a murderer"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
A New Puzzle.

New York Tribune.j
Now let those who have been turning their
great intellects loose on the momentous ques-
ton, Who wrote the Arthur Richmond let
ters? proceed to revive the Beautiful Snow in
quiry.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
No Prince Need Apply.

From the Springfield to.) Republic.l
If the Prince of Wales were in America and
conducted his business affairs as he does in
England, he would be called dead beat and
would be debarred from position on the
Springfield police force.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
An Exact Statement.

From the williamsport Republican,
A contemporary says: "Boulanger is still
kicking" We thought he was the fellow who
was being kicked Just now.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
Chicago Greed.

From the i,dianapolis Journal.l
There is no reason why Congress should
bother about annexing Canada. Chicago will
do it herself If we just let her get her second
wind.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
Something surely wrous.

From tho New York World.l
Turkey is arming III haste and $1,000 reserves
have been called out Have the Sultau's cooks
again struck for their wagesf
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

From the Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.i
Wyoming and Idaho will soon ask Congress
for tickets of admission to the Union. Let
them come along. The more the merrier The
field of the old lag is somewhat crowded, but
room can pc made for q few more stars
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

The aeas which are vexing the life of the
people in the Pension Office are certainly Of
the class of offensive partisans that justify a
clean sweep.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
A PENSION OFFICE PEST.
The Building Invaded By Millions Of Lively
F1eas.

ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE DIsPArCH.l
wAsHINGToN. August Ain the opinion of
Commissioner Tanner there are no flies on the
Pension Office as it is at present managed, but
there are fieas on it by the millions. In some
mysterious manner the Pension Office has be.
come infested with feas. and the superin-
tendent of the building has exhausted every
possible means to exterminate them, but thus
far without avail. Quantities of insect powders
have been used, and considerable speculation
is indulged in as to the origin of the infiiction
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

believe that the plates will be left undis-
turbed, because it is so much easier to steal
the money after it is printed.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05
TERMS OF THE DISPATCH.

POSTAGE FREE IN THE UNITED STATES.
DAILY DISPATCH, One Year. 90
DAILY DISPATCH, Per Quarter........-....... 20
DAuY DIsPA ATCH One Month ............... 20
DAILY DISPATCH including Sunday, year. 10 90
DAILY DISPATCH, including Sunday, Sm' tbs. 50
DAILY DISPATCH including Sunday, month 30
SUNDAY DISPATCH, One Year ................. 80
WEFEIY DIsPA ATCH. One Year ,........... Is
THE DAILY DISPATCH is delivered by carriers at
I5cents per week, or including Sunday edition, at
20 cents per week.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

WILLIAM NAUMAN, of Mannheim, Pa, owns
a horse that has just been shod for the first
time. having gone barefooted for % years.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

"BusYi" cried Wheeling clerk to an inquir.
ing friend. II should say waa ] Am rushed
like . growler.n
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-05

MORE than LOO dead were buried in the old
Friends burying ground at Wrightstown,
Bucks county, by Sexton John Knowles during
the 43 years Of his sextonship. Knowles was
laid to rest among them few days since.
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-05-25
10 the Wool Growers of Montana

Inc Board Of Trade Of Great Falls desires again to call
g me advantages offered by this city wool market
as season pounds Of wool here and in
the grower found the facilities handling and ds
g OF his clip entirely satisfactory This season Great Falls iii
pier even greater advantages wool market growers Of
pillows: ."
4 RATES OF TRANSPORTATION.
Inc Manitoba Railroad company that it's rates on
to the eastern markets will be from Great Falls
all points east in Montana The rate to Boston i 20
TOOL IN sacks and Sl65 when bales which Is a. low
90 r,n g w. OBTAIN st any shipping point Montana
Manitoba Or Northern Pacific railroads any time during
reduction should made BY either line the rata M BE-
low IRON Great falls as other point This guaranteed
WAGON TRANSPORTATION
Great Falls is centrally located with to the wool grow
sections OF northern and central Montana more readily &C
sble than any other shipping point During past year much
@ work has been done the roads Of county and
V those leading the judith Basin Choteau The former
IN excellent condition throughout road having been con
uced via Otter Creek avoid the Rocky Ridge Towards
and Augusta the road has put good condition On
favorable transportation rates be
wool business The Board Trade notified in time will be
send p to any portion Of the tributary
the rates to be as low possible and favorable
any competing point II
FACILITIES. II
Great Falls will have improved this season for handling
the immense amount of wool that will be
large Manitoba wool warehouse with force Of charge to
OFT III This + sssf h sss rs
largest wool warehouse the Northwest will be erected
Vi in working order by June !, prox. superior
@ WOOL COMPRESS
aid OF which the will be able saving in rail
OF 45 cents wool
1lRs The rates to Boston from Great Falls are
- in sacks, 20 IN
A9A compressed in bales, 65
Difference, :. As
Eangemens have been made by the Trade of this
o nave all wool compressed at nominal cost There
q additional cost Of having the product after
seq loaded into the competent practical man will be n
OF the wool during the season. the best results
assured n " - - ~
COMMERCIAL ADVANTAGES
goes without that Montana offers better com
a than Great Falls Every business is rep
na ana nowhere are merchants enepsng and progress
hey the advantage low feighs and sell goods
Hest possible margins There stronger popular
dealers of Great Falls and with the wool growers
and have been the intimate character Great Falls
now three banking houses and every facility they
given the wool grower
Advices received from Boston, Philadelphia other wool
to the effect that Great Falls will be head
ters Tor the wool buyers and commission
the field It is generally understood that will
In this city than at other the Territory
These of the inducements offers to
wool Of northern and central We
every to believe that twice much marketed
this as last and that have cause to regret
ing All will be welcome
! BY order of the GARD of Trade
T. E. COLLINS PRESIDENT
W. Fl. RACE, Secretary
|1reot RAILS Mont, Nay 2A 1882 (
Butte semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1886-1890, 1889-10-30
Should Be Captured.

About a year ago the bIeached bonss \,
Two white men were discovered pss, u.
Jocko river. Evidence was secured ,b;h
proved they were murdered by two men
Pierre Paul and La Lasee. These ~.
men r hard characters and tsrrors N Al
honest Indians as we'll as whites. Thu,
capture was attempted several times h.
without avail. The governor OF MoptaD,
offered a thousand dollars reward 10, tba,
arrest, but this seemed no great incsDt,s
to induce people to risk their lives in ~.
ing to capture them. For awhile, ths,
were los track OF entirely, but lately il Ia.
hecoa 9 known that they are with a psr.I
Chief Aeneas' tribe, near the FlstbssS
lake, and defy capture. A thoussnddoEan
is too small an amount for anyone to mn
life in attempt to arrest these outlaV,
when it is considered they are sheltered BY
such a tough class OF redmen as the Koot.
enays, who make their home near the Fiat.
head. Governor White should raise Tina
reward to five thousand, as these men am
and not alone tsrroiss the
prospectors. hunters and trappsrs, but at
any time are liable by their influence With
the Kootenays to lead them into mss,s
the settlers OF the country around
the Flathe ad.-tMissoulian.
Butte semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1886-1890, 1889-10-30
Helena Independent.

Suppose the action of the Republican
canvassers in Silver Bow county in throw.
ing out the vote OF an entire precinct on
fimsy technicalities should be sustained
and pass into q precedent. Where would
it land the Republican party in Montana?
The Democrats have elected this year q
majority OF the county commissioners in
Silver Bow. Deer Lod. e, Lewis and Clarke
and three or four other counties. The can
vassing OF the vote in these counties at the
election OF q representative in congress
next year will he in the hands OF Demo.
cratic boards. If these boards can reject
votes at their will, wherever partisan OBJ
jections are raised on account OF petty ir.
and count only such votes as
please them, as Silver Bow anvassers have
done, what would the result be? There
isn't q county in the state where irregular.
tiles similar to or more serious than those
at Tunnel precinct did not exist at the late
election and are not committed every wear,
Should the Silver Bow case become a pre-
sedent in law. we would have anarchy
within five years.