The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-02-28
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Beecham's Pills cure bilious and ner-
vous ills.
You can't get an insurance agent &c
admit that honesty Is the best policy
Life.
II you should happen to take walk,
It Is not necessary to return it.-Pitts-
burgh Chronicle
We pity the Waterbury watch COM
pany, il it ever has to wind up its bust
ness.-BurlingtOn Free Press.
Ohver-'I do not think | am quite |
myself this evening"" Jeannette-"Al- !
low me to congratulate you."-Life.
Mashed strawberry ribbons sell at one
dollar yard, but you can get a bottle of
DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup for only twenty
five cents.
In the tai'or's shop: clam looking for
a fashionable overcoat." "All right, sir. |
Will you have it too short or too long
-Fliegende Batter
An English gentleman who had visited
Cyprus was asked IL there were many
antiquities in the island. Antiquities !"
he cried, why the place is alive with
them !"
Citizen Ito Italian, who is making the
dirt fly: why are you 50 very indus
rious, Garibaldi do you feel that you
ought to earn your wages ?" Garibsldi
Isl Signor boss look a."
Fond Mother-"So you are pleased
with Mr.. GrooI, Amelia p Fond Daugh-
teri am he's man after my own
heart" Are you sure of that p dead
sure he asked me for il last evening"
Lincoln Journal.
Aunt (who is entertaining Miss Breezy,
of Chicago is beautiful dress
you have on, Geraldine, and the shade
seems to be quite new" Miss Breezy
tcomplacently)-"Yes it is new Chi
cago shade, called the pigs snore. life.
She-"Perhaps you are not ware, Col
onel Snarlington, that had half-a dozen
offers before yours" He-"And per-
haps you're not aware, Mrs. Snsrlington,
that l proposed to a dozen different
women before met you. '-TeraS Sift-
ingS.
You never sit and talk to me now as
you did before we were married" sighed
the young wife. NO. replied the hus-
band, who was a drummer "the boss
always told me to stop praising the goods
AS soon as the bargain was struck. IN
Y, Sun.
Farmer Oatcake-"You won't find any
chickens here to steal. Free !" Freetrade
Ferguson-"I know dat boss. for took
EN- all las week. But Is willing ter
take yer chicken coops off yer hands at
reasonable figgah, eff yer'll call it squar
Puck.
Let quality, no; quantity, be the test
| - 4 Ga urtl 10 ho
concentrated extract of the best and pur
est ingredients. Medical men every
where recommend it as the surest and
most economical blood medicine in the
market.
"Did you call on General Harrison,
Mr., Seeker p Il did," "Dave any con-
versation with him p II did" And
what did the president-elect sav?" He
said Good morning." DIDN'T he say
anything more ?" HE did," What ?"
'Goodby'."
We have a speedy and positive cure
for Catarrh, Diphtheria, Canker Mouth
and Headache. in SHILOH'S CATARRH
REMEDY. A nasal injector free with
each bottle. Use it if you desire health
and sweet brea'h. Price SO cents. Sold
by j. T. Shurtleff.
"How do you feel now ~ asked the
general manager of grandfather
social, as he poked handful of feathers
between his victims teeth. Il feel down
IN the mouth" the latter replied
| Whereupon six reyOlvers were instantly
emptie1 into the same cayity.-Puck.
DAwlish-"That's a peculiar button
you are wearing. Jabley. What does it
indicate ~ Jabley-"Thal's little idea
Of my own. 1t means that am not
membar of any secret society at all. l
have pa ented it, and will no doubt make
n fortune from it."-1erre Hdute Er-
press.
Personal.
A young lady of seventeen summers,
highly educated, refined, and of propos-
sessing appearance, desires to form the
acquaintance of some nice young man,
whom she would advise, if troubled
with dyspepsia, to use that great blood
purifier, Sulphur Bitters.
Why do so many people we see around
us seem to prefer to suffer and be made
miserable by indigestion, constipation,
dizziness, loss of appetite, coming up of
the food, yellow skin, when for rs cents
we will sell them Shiloh's System Vital
izer, guaranteed to cure them. Sold by
j. T. Shurtleff. Bennington, Vt.
Mr.. Eausonice 'I-aw-I WEAKLY
would like t. attend your dinnah pawty,
Mrs. Parvenu, but-but should hawdly |
know what to say, you know, among 80
many clevah people-aw." Mrs. Par
venu--"Oh, you needn't say word, if |
you don't want to, Nj f iusonice. Peo-
pie don't expect it of you Huntington
Free Press
A young husband came home from his |
office Tired and hungry, and the smell of |
his supper was delicious, Just as he |
was about to take large bite out of |
biscuit, his wife remarked with BEAM
ing smile II made those biscuits all by |
myself, dear" Placing it gently as faI
away as he could, he said, with heart
felt gratitude: my precious darling,
you have saved my life"
Interested People.
Advertising patent medicine in the
peculiar way in which the proprietor of
Kemp's Balsam, for Coughs and Colds,
does it is indeed wonderful. lie author
ICES all druggists to give those who call
for 1t sample bottle free, that they may
try it before purchasing The large bot
ties are SOC and $l.00. We certainly |
would advise a trial. 1t may save you
from consumption. For sale by all
Druggists.
Give Ely's Cream Balm trial. This |
justly celebrated remedy for the cure of
catarrh, hay fever, cold in the head, &c,
can be obtained of any reputable drug
gist and may be relied upon as safe
and pleasant remedy for the above COM
plants and will give immediate relief.
1t IS not liquid. snuff or powder, has
no offensive odor and can be used at anv
time with good results. as thousands can
testify, among them some of the attaches
If this office. Spirit of the Times, May
80, 1886.
Some time ago, an old wreck of an old
ship. bearing the date of 1926, was dug
up on Cape Cod. Alter brief existence
for exhibition purposes. it was presented
to the Pilgrim society of Plymouth, and
the doner asked Mr.. Choa'e, the presi-
dent of the Old Colony Railroad, to trans
port it free from New Bedford to its des-
tination. 81 cannot do that under the
interstate law" said the genial official,
but added he, with slight twinkle of
the eye, 81 can make new tariff for
ships and articles of marine manufact.
ure previous to 1897 !" ana the tariff
was made and forwarded to the proper
and the old relic of 1926
went gaily forward and thus IS the u
ierstate ''evaded. - Commercial Bmle-
tin.