Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-03
DUTIES OF MASONRY.
A Nice Old Lady Inquiries About
Her Husbands Degrees.

and her hands all puckcred up and
blue, although she had just got her
washing out went into the Office of a
prominent Mason few days ago and
took IA chair, says the Scottish Rite
Bulletin. She wiped her nose and the
perspiration from her face on blue
checkered apron, aud when the Mason
looked at her with an interested,
brotherly look, rs though she were
troubled, she said
care you the boss Mason?"
He blushed, told her he was a Ma
son, but not the highest in the land.
She hesitated moment, fingered the
corner of her apron, and curled it up
like a boy speaking piece in school,
and asked:
''Have you taken the two hundred
and twenty-three degrees of Masonry?n
The man assured her that there were
only thirty-three degrees and that he
had only taken thirty-two. The other
degrees could only be taken by a few
who were recommended 10 the grand
body. The lady studied minute, un-
pinned the safety pin that fastened her
drew breath, and said
''Where does my husband get the
two hundred degrees, then?"
The prominent Mason said he
guessed her husband never got two
hundred degrees unless he had de-
gree factory. He said he didn't UNI
derstand the lady.
'DOes my husband have TO sit up
with IA dead corpse three nights in a
week?" she asked. her eyes flashing
| fire. "Do you keep a lot of sick Mas
ons on tap for my husband to sit up
with the other three nights"
The prominent Mason said he was so
thankful that SO many Masons died and
only occasionally was one sick enough
| to call for Masonic assistance. When
a Mason took sick away from home. or
when his family desired it, the breth-
ern were only too glad to sit up with
/ him; but there were so many Masons
and so few sick that it is only once in
two or three months that a brother
was called upon TO sit up with anybody.
but why do you ask these questions,
madam said the prominent Mason.
The woman picked the fringe off her
shawl, hung her head down, and said:
"Well, my husband began TO join the
Masons about two years ago, and he
has been taken degrees of sitting up
with people ever since, and he comes
home all hours of the night, smelling
of beer and cheese. | thought at first
the cheese was the result of going TO
the morgue TO help carry brother Mas
ons home after they had been found in
the river | have kept little track OF
/ it, and figure that he has taken two
hundred and thirty-three degrees, in
Guiding the Grand Sky Fugie degree,
which he took the night he came with
his lip cut and his ear hanging by
piece OF skin.
80, madam" said the prominent
Mason, there is no Sky Fugle degree
. in Masonry; you're husband has lied to
YOU"
That's what think" said she, as a
balcful light appeared in her eye. He
said he was taking the Sky Fugie de-
gree and fell through the skylight. |
/ had him sewed up, and he was ready
! for more degrees. After he had taken.
/ should think, about hundred and
/ fifty degrees, | told him | should think
/ he would let up on it, and put some
potatoes in the cellar for winter; but he
said when a man once got started he
/ had to take them all, or he didn't
amout TO any thing. One time | want
ed a new hat TO wear TO church with "a
feather on, and he said feathers were
all nonsense, and the next day he
brought home leather case with
felt coal-skuttle in il, and feather on
il that couldn't have cost less than ten
dollars, the way that ! reckon millinery.
And when he put it on and | laughed
at his ridiculous appearance he began
to throw his arms around, and | asked
him what was the matter, and he said
il was the grand hailing sign of distress,
and if | didn't look out an avenger
would appear from dark closet and
run a toad-sticker through me for "A
scoffer. He must have spent fortune
on the last one hundred and fifty de-
grees.
"One morning he came home with
his coat-tails split right up the back
and his pants torn just as though dog
had chewed them, and one eye closed
up and wad of hair pulled right out
of his head, and he said he had been
taking the two hundredth degree, but
ne MOulNn u ltll llOW IL HdpDCutu Dt-
cause il was dead secret. Sometimes
a brother Mason comes home with him
early in the morning and they talk
about full flush, and they act full as
they stand on the steps and talk about
pat hands, and raising 'em out, and
calling and 'bobtail flush One
night, when he was asleep. heard him
whisper: i raise you ten dollars and
when ! asked him what il meant he
said they had been raising purse for
poor widow. Another time he raised
up in bed and shouted: Il stand pat,
and when | asked him what be meant
he said he was ruined if | told it. He
said he had spoken the password, and
If his brethren heard of IL they would
put him out of the way, even as Morgan
was put out OF the WY. Mister, is Il
stand pat, your password
The Mason told her il was not. That
the words he had spoken was an eX-
preston used by men when playing
draw poker, and n added he didn't be-
L. L II Ill