Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-17
A PIQUANT PROBLEM
Which is Agitating the Dwellers In
the District of Columbia.
WHOWILLTHECA CABINETLADlESB BE?
Olive Logan Describes Some Amusing
Country Visitors.
NECESSITY FOR A NEW WHITE HOUSE

heavy with expectancy. If the country at
large is interested in the composition of the
coming Cabinet, think what matter of great
pith and moment must be that piquant
problem to the dwellers of the Columbian
District! Here will reside the all-powerful
Ministers, whose relation to the Executive
is so we'll expressed by Shakespeare :
Lesser than he, yet greater" Under the
immediate sway of the mighty eight, hun
dreds of workers who inhabit this little tri-
angular slice of the world must pursue the
even Cor uneven) tenor of their way during
the next four years. Of paramount i'm
portance is it to them that the chief under
whom they serve should be, if not
q Jolly good follow, at least q good fellow;
above all, one not cribbed and confined as
to expenditure within the paltry limits OF
the Ministerial salary. The periodic
turkeys of the present Naval Secretary are
ardently hoped for in his successor. L fear,
indeed, that the precedent set by Mr..
Whitney will constitute damnosa heritas
for all future bearers of the naval portfolio.
CURIOUS CABINET CALLS.
Even the female population ofthe district
is all agog on the subject of the Cabinet
Next to the receptions at the White House,
the Cabinet calls are most dearly cher
ished. Should the ladies of the coming eight
not be agreeable, courteous, willing and
anxious to be seen by all and sundry, the
popular voice will cry them down. One of
the oldest delusions in the world pre-
walls regarding the right of the
public to invade the drawing rooms of
Il r Il
"Ma" and ''the girls" from Wayback
honestly believe that the gilded salons of
the leading ladies of Washington are, in a
sense, their own property, the husbands of
these ladies being in the pay of Uncle Sam,
l. e., in the pay of the husband and father
otma and the girls from Wayback. So they
enter houses without introduction, and treat
the lady of the mansion as if she were a
passing show got up for their amusement.
AT the residence of one of the millionaire
Senators there occurred, the other day, a
scene which was worthy pictorial represen-
tation by the pencil of one of the best
humorous artists. The Senator wife was
receiving, when enter Aunt Jerusha and
Cousin Sue from the agricultural dis
tricts.
"Sakes alive! aint this scrumptiousp ex-
claimed Aunt Jeru.
''Wal, this beats all ever heerd onp' re-
turned Sue.
They danced up and down on the sofa
springs like Mdrgery in "The Rough Dia-
mond;" they fingered the marble statues,
roaring with laughter at the scant drapery
of a halflife size replica of Canova's
Cupid and Psyche; finally they elbowed
their way through the aristocratic throng to
the hostess herself. They seemed not to
regarded her as human at all, but merely
as an objet de luxe, like the rest of the fine
things. Selling the side breadth of her
gown, they examined it with critical scru-
tiny.
dAll silk; not bit of cotting in it!' de-
cided Aunt Jeru.
ooh, pshor; 60 long," exclaimed the in
credulous Sue.
The hostess cut short the colloquy. cal
low me to offer you cup of tea, she
politely proposed.
"Tea" exclaimed the agricultural visit
ors in a supercilious ensemble, 1--WE didn't
come here to drink slops; we don't pay your
husband for that! Give us some fried oysters
and plate Of slawp'
AN DER TRUE TALE.
Nay, nay, honor bright Or at least let
me say, / tell the tale as it was told to me-
Sc non vero, ben trovato. Oh, that the
pen of that past-mistreSs in the art of fine
manners, Mrs. John Sherwood, might be
multiplied thousand fold, to ply its much
needed function in every corner of the landi
And yet it is but fair to say that consider
ing the vast numbers of persons who come
to Washington-the garden spot of social
culture-whose experience of society has
previously been an unknown incident, a
quantite negligeable, the rarity of such oc-
curences speaks well for the innate re-
fnement of our people; even those Of the
Iemotest sections of the country.
Discussion anent the worthlessness of the
White House is one of the stirring topics of
the hour. The verdict is unanimous that
the old shanty has outlived its usefulness;
it is a structural wreck. The sort of White
House that is required for an executive
mansion is a companion piece in architect
ure to the State Department. Large as that
building is, every foot of space in one of
similar proportions could be utilized to ex-
cellent advantage Reserving the entire
south side for the Presidential residence, the
northern portion would serve for the Presi-
dental business Offices, thus preserving de-
cent privacy for the family of the Chief
Magistrate, and any surplus rooms could be
used for various Governmental operations.
which are now carried on in certain tumble
down old brick houses scattered here and
there about the city; musty old tenements,
grimy with age, poison-spots for dampness
and malodorous drainage.
The necessity for more extensive quarters
for the reception of the people by the Presi-
dent and his wife is obvious. The real
truth is that every thronged assemblage in
the White House at present is an occasion
of danger. The old sheebang will collapse
some day, La mode of the one horse shay.
A CRUSH.
We shall pay for Presidential simplicity
by a frightful loss of life. The crowds
which flock on Saturdays to Mrs. CIeve-
lands receptions are of colossal proportions.
As a drawing star this Presidential first
lady (prima donna) is the greatest magnet
the country has ever known. A solid pha-
lanx, of about six or eight abreast, stretches
from the portico of the White House, along
the avenue, past the State Department,
turning the corner of that great building
running alongside it its whole length, and
so down to the river! And all this human
Mississippi expects to flow past Mrs. Cleve-
land between the hours of and 8. As a
matter of fact it does nothing of the sort 1t
is damned midway by the police; and it
heml returns the compliment with interest.
Talk of the suf'erings OF cattle in the trans
portation cars! Think of Mrs. Cleveland's
callers, about four hours on the hoof, and
then to be told when nearly dead with
fatigue that it is 5o'clock, that the front
door of the White House is closed, and that
Mrs. Cleveland has gone driving through
the south entrance!
Those that get in are in clover. That's
the trouble; they won't go away. They get
their hands shaken by Mrs. Cleveland; they
take good look at that world famous face