New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-08-09
THE TALK or THE DAT.

THE I1Lh or IHE DAY.
Missing-A sea serpent of gigantic proportions ana
ferOcous temper who for several years past has been
swimming in the Atlantic Ocean past the seaside r..
sorts from Cape May to the Bay Of Fundy. Hs
strange absence this year Is causing great grief to hs
many admirers, and any Intelligence respecting hs
whereabouts will be gratefully received by the Hots
Keepers Association.
When you upon the sands would lie
And under Der umbrella hide
Upon your rival keep one eye
But keep the other on the tide.
-CIis.
The American farmer has become a traveller. EyeS
In summer time the railways of the West now
seeking to tempt him from his home by announcing
" harvest excursions" at low rates to the grain fods
of the West
Hard to Please.-Bridget-I say, Msther Smith.
Mr., smith-Al right Bridget, I'm awake.
Btldget-Nake up, sur, hurOO! wake up.
DIT. smith-Confound your stupidity I'm awaks,
Bridget-If yez be awake what did yez tell me "a.
wake yez up fur thin !-(Time.
Apparently the heather in foreign lands will havs
to be neglected for time for the heather IN this
state-the agent Of the Broome County Bible Society
has discovered that there are 124 families in that
county who do not possess Bible.
voc. Here john am going into the country my
vacation tomorrow"
Yes, STRIP
" Pack up my oiiskn suit, my rubber boots, my
tarpalllin hat and half dozen umbrellas
Yes. Sir Anything esels
That's all believe Hold on, though You
might put IN a salt fish or two. Pm bOund TO he D
dIy, IL us possible hng"-(BosOn Transcript
An appeal for wives has Just been addressed BIZ
Mayor Wheelwright Of Tacoma, Washington Territory
to Mayor Hart Of Boston, In his petition Mayor
Wheewright says that there are about ten men 10
every woman in the Territory. and that the Mayor
and Common Council Of Tacoma appeal to the poouls
Of cocht all
able age that DO spared to the Territory and
city, with view to making pleasant the homes OF
thousands of industrious young men, who would DO
glad to marry"
Tho Chicago Limlted-Gazzam-so young Briggs
has taken partner for life, mas he ~,
Chicago girl.-(Tme
1t IS proposed 10 Introduce the cultivation Of tbs
sugar beet on large scale in Pennsylvania. Probably
the experiment will be tried In Berk5 County.
Accommodation in Oklahoma City.--Clerk of Hotel
Vendomo' GO newly arrived guestD-TH put you right
in here-fnest room IN the house, sir-the bridal
chamber.
Guest-Yes yes, I see. Can get towels
Clerk-Oh yes. sr-we have all the modern con-
veniences here, sir. Yes Stree! Hop Sing ought TO
bring In the towels by tO-mOrOw-send you soons
they come, SIR Anything else i-(Puck.
The effect Of the destruction of trees Is per-
ceived forciby by the farmers Of Southern California.
who find that their efforts to irrgate their lands arc
hlndered by the nsufilcency of water in the rivers.
That insufclency of water, The san Francisco Ca'
states is caused by tho cutting down Of the forests on
the mountains.
Expected Too Much.-Merchant-You think your
would make US a satisfactory Grand boy, DO
yOu!"
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures 'e do sor, 20 do it very
Merchant turning 10 boy)-James, take this note up
to Captain Centerfeld at the ball grounds and 20
Mrs. Monarty-Nver moind. Jimmy. Come aim
home It's not bye they're wantln', us an
angeL-(LLfc.
1t IS rarely that mirage IS seen upon the St.
Lawrence River but plainly visible upon
Monday morning at Clayton All the country about
Cape Vincent seemed lifted the air. This was tho
first mirage since 1850, when the people at Carthage
forty miles distant were able to distinguish various
objects in Cape Vincent.
Where sulphurous gases thickly flow,
And the Pickering flames are blue,
THERE'S a red hot corner there below,
VI" -''''' Washington Capitol
A prehistoric giant has just been discovered in
Nevada but wicked sceptics sneer when they read
about him. Thus The Philadelphia Ledger says
the giants arm (of pctrifcd) was unearthei'
and when the son Of the dlscOveer playfuny broke
oil the giants fingers, nine diamonds Of the puress
wafer and as large as lima beans fell out Of the closed
fist That IS what the report says, aud it Is cacuiard
m denriye scientists Of the interest they might other
wise take in the discovery
True Enough" Pat, is this rue that hear"
AM what's that, yer honorP
@That you are going TO marry again.
That's So yer honor" .,
mt YOUR first wife has only been dead week.
sire she's as dead she liver Will De, yer
honor "-(Pck-mc-up.
A lemon trusp is just now disturbing the thoughts
Of liquor dealers of Charlestony s. C., who believed
they were going to enjoy peaceful summer
Lemons under the fell influence of the trust nave
advanced in price from 81 to % a box; anu d.
result whlskey" sours7 at premium
His Only Escape-McCocke-A so you're engaged
NcNichol DO Tell US all about It -
NcNchol--Yes, It's 60 this time. lou s0o'
Isabella and were out on the beach,
McCOrkle-Yes. - ..,rh-
McNchol-And the mosquitoes were very tnick
McCOrkle-Yes.
McNichol-And wanted to get in.
McCorkle-Yes. - -.rt,d "A
stay out.
McCOrkle-YeS. - an Ia eaten
McNfchol-That's all. 1t was propose OK pe In
by mosquitoes, so proposal
quirer. |