The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-12-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Hands Strikers.

A rare gift-Presents of mind.
The greatest circulation in the United
States-Blood's
A slight-of-hand perfomance-A
maiden giving wooer the mitten.-.
Mem York ,Jou5W@
1t is perfectly safe to "make light of
an electric wire, provided you don't take
hold of the live end of it.-Puck
George-'Why so sad, Charles! Does
not Mildred return your love!" Charles
-''No; she only returns my letters. -
-Hvasey's WeeIly.
The beauty of having children in the
house is that whenever you want small
change you can always find it in the
children's bank.
Don't be too severe on the man who
scolds his wife in public. Perhaps that
is the only time that he dare do so.-
Ieyre Hipte Eapress.
Mrs. Smithingtou-"Oh! Mr.. Tihkin,
you are always so kind in coming to see
me off. Little Tibkin-Not at all it
is always pleasure. '-FWt.
Robinson-''S Smith, | can tell you one
thing that every man stoops to conquer. "
Smith-''What's that" Robinson-''A
corn. .'-B,Tliagton Free Press.
My first impressions of America are
rather hard, - as the foreigner said when
he slipped down on the icy pavement in
New York. DaHscaic Breeze.
There are six mills in Lynn, Mass, that
have not made one cent in three years.
Naturally not. 1t takes ten mills to
make one cent -Biagh0mj0R RepubiicdH.
The mind with sudden grief is fraught,
The red lite-curreuts freeze;
Alas! the trowsers newly bought
Are bagging at the knees
Washington Capital.
He-"Win you marry me?" She
"No." He-''Then will you marry Bob
Sawyer? He wanted me to ask you foI
him, too, while l was about it."-The
EP0cb.
Thompson is practical. When Jones
said to him sympathetically, II fear
Smith is losing his grip" Thompson
said promptly, "Why doesn't he buy Il
trunk?"--Judge.
Shells that a nightingale that is
singing so swcetly! l have so long
wished to have one!' He (raising his
gun)-'In couple Of seconds | will lay
it at your feet i'-Ld Lima.
How many undertake and fail SUGGEST
So easy is it a mistake to make;
If undertaken be your business
You'll carry out all that you undertake,
Judge.
4 Mic E,st,,,or 1 lAp't catch the
idea. Er-what are you trying to paint!.
'Tm trying to paint u calf in the fore
ground here. But model is necessary,
| fear. Would you mind posing, Mr..
Dryplaite?' Time.
''What influence has the moon upon
the tide! ~ asked the professor. The class
wag replied that he didn't know exactly
what influence it had upon the tied, but
that it had Il tendency to make the un.
tied awfully spoony.
II should like to know remarked
Jones as he left the courtroom, "what
earthly use there is in sentencing such
fellows to imprisonment for life. They
make it point never to serve out hall
their terms. '-Jtlge.
Mnister-'I Just saw you start to steal
an apple from that fruit stand, and then
drop it. Was it some still, small voice
that impeled you?' Jimmy Baddegg-
"Naw. 1t was de cop on dc corner yon'
der. ."-LaHreHco Ameyicom.
IL is claimed by outsiders that America
has no national air. But anybody who
has set ON the fence up at SKY farm on
crisp morning, and felt the braciug breeze
blow through his whisllers, knows a heap
better than that.-DaascHe Bree.e.
Mrs. sadlace to Tommy (who had
stolen jar of preservesl l-''My boy, J
know that you are sorry. see it in yom
face Tommy (meditativcly)-''Ye
mamma, | am There was bigger jar
ON the shelf that | couldn't reach. -
P1Hadelphn H,quaer.
Yisitor-'Well, Tommy, how are you
getting on at school?" Tommy (aged
eighU-"First rate. l amt doing as
well as some of the other boys, though.
! can stand ON my hand, but l have to
put my feet against the fence want to
do it without being near the fence at all,
and | can after I've been TO school long
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