davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
An Opportune Time.

Briggs (meeting his family physician)
Why, doctor, Thought you were away
for the summer
DIR. Doser-I was away, but returned
1T the beginning of the watermelon sea-
son.-Epoch.
The German court dress is to be re
modelled on an ancient costume which
comprised knee breeches, buckle shoes,
a sword, three cornered hat, and also q
periwig.
The Pullman car which is to replace
the one smashed in the Borkel accident
has just been inspected by the czar and
blessed by the head of the Greek ortho
dox church.
1t is said that the railroads of the
world are worth nearly 100000, 10000
or about one-tenth of the wealth of the
civilized nations, or more than one-quar
ter of their invested capital.
A tramp who arrived in Steubenville
o., the other day said he had walked 12j
miles since he had had bite to eat
When searched half of loaf of bread
was found in one Of his pockets.
A curious reminder of French revolu
tionary days may still be seen standing
in Guilford, Conn. 1t is an old house
painted black by French refugee when
he learned that Louis XVI had beer
guillotined.
Frascuelo, the Spanish torero, has re
tired, with fortune estimated at $780,
600. Although ranking among the great
est bull fighters, he was freely criticised
by many experts for being unusually
liable to accidents.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
A Low Cost Dress.

Today met a lady friend who is able
to buy the handsomest dresses in New
York, and l saw that she wore neat
and ladyliIe gown of dark gray flannel
cloth, trimmed with black braid, and
made in neat and simple but very tax
ing style. I fell in love with the dress,
and she told me that she had made it
herself, and that braid, buttons and ma.
terial had cost her just $500, and she
enumerated the articles and 1 found it
SO. There are dozens of fall materials
that are all wool and which will make
up very pretty suits from 19 to 25 cents
per yard. Of course, a dressmaker
would have run the price up, but she
said that she enjoyed the making of her
dress.-Olive Harper.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

long study TO discover the Key, 1or TN,
cipher used by the two correspondent
was of the simplest. They had made us,
OF the characters in the text, retaining
their ordinary value, and it sufficed (
place the marked letters side by side I,
reconstruct the sentences.
The first that ] deciphered was this:
"He goes to the tribunal tomorrow n
2 o'clock. Come; we shall not be dis
turbed."
To which the hyphens in red ink re
spondeJ:
"ltis understood, darling. At 2 o'clock
a thousand kisses"
was highly edited, and if my hypoth
esis did not exactly coincide with Lori
OTIS 1T was none the less most interesting
The next day ! called at the judges al
an hour when l felt certain of meeting
his wife. found her alone, before {
blazing fire, and Eustache Loriot was al
work in his library.
~ have discovered" said in a low
voice to Nine. Loriot, "the key to the
famous cipher correspondence"
She never moved muscle.
"Ah,' she murmured, glancing sharp
ly at me, 'let me see this boolSr"
handed it to her, and Immediately
with rapid movement, she threw il
into the fire.
"dush!" she continued, with an i'm.
perious gesture; "you are gallant man,
monsieur; let this go no further"
And while 1, stupefied, watched
"Daphnis and Chloe" smolder, she stir.
rcd the fire with the tongs.
When the hapless book was reduced tc
an incandescent mass, she gave cry:
"Ah, mon Dieu, what misfortune
What will Eustache say?"
At this exclamation, Loriot came run.
ing out
"What has happened?'
"Such a misfortune, my DEAR Mon
sieur inadvertently placed the 'Daphnis
and Chloe en- the arm of my chair, and
lsmust have made false movement and
the volume fell into the CRATE. As we
were conversing with our backs to the
fireplace, we did not perceive it until too
late"
Eustache seized the tongs in consterna-
ton, pulled out the burning book, and
rushed to plunge it into basin of water.
But 1t was of no use. When taken out
of its bath nothing remained of "Daphnis
and Chloe" but heap of charred cinders.
"What disasterl" lamented Loriot;
sit is not SO much rare book that l re-
gret, but there are the documentary ma
terials that the fire has devoured-I re-
peat it, there was an enigma there of the
highest iuterest-and just as was about
todiscover the keyy-Translated for The
Argonaut from the French of Andre
1heuriet by II. G. II.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
Chewing Gum Retired Her.

The young ladies who delight in the
felicities of chewing gum, and keep their
pretty little jaws at work from morning
until night in masticating what they can
never swallow, had better take warning
in time, if they prize their beauty. II
appears that young society belle of this
city has so exercised her masticatory
muscles that they stick out like the bi-
ceFs which helped John l.. Sullivan win
the prize of champion. The young lady
has gone into retirement, as her unusual
facial development is anything but at
tractive, and the only prescription that
it is possible to give her is the advice
don't move your jaws" which she is
endeavoring to fulfill in the seclusion OF
her home.- Post.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
AyAx SMITH AND THE BARBER.
He Thinks lie Is Racing with Man Who
Wants n shave, bnt Gets Left,


Wants n shave, but Gets Left.
Ajax Smith felt exceedingly disagree
able that morning. His wife was cross,
baby cross, Ajax cross himself. He was
late for the car, and just as he neared
the barber shop he realized that he had
barely ten minutes to spare.
Coming toward the barber shop from
an opposite direction was a man, and
the way he acted convinced Ajax that
he was also after shave.
"I'll get there first or bustl" growled
Ajax.
He accelerated his walk; the stranger
did'the same. Ajax glared at the latter
as he ran bang against him just on the
threshold, but Ajax got in first.
"I'll fix your he muttered. "Daring
to try to get ahead of mel Hair cut.
barberp
eyes, sir.
Shampoo, barberl"
Eyes, sir"
"Shave, barber!"
Eyes, sir"
"And-and-trim my mustache, bar
berl"
The stranger sat; he yawned. Ajax
arose from the chair and glanced at the
clock.
"An hour and quarter" he chuckled
"It's made me late, but I've taught that
churl a lesson. He won't try to get
ahead of me next time. He can have his
shave now-ha! har'
just then a customer came in.
To AjaX's profound surprise the wait
ing man whipped off his coat, advanced
to chair, and said, insinuatingly:
"Shave, sir?"
Ajax's jaw dropped.
The man had not been waiting for q
shave at all.
He was-the other barber.-Exchange
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
Maklng Hls Moaninr Cloar.

The Wabash train was nearing Mexico
Mo-, recently, and the conductor, quiet
little man with a dumpy figure, was col.
lecting the tickets. He passed The Man
About Town, and stopped. at seat
which was evidently occupied by very
diminutive and sickly looking person.
The man was sitting with his neck rest.
ing on the back of his seat, and his feet
were concealed beneath the seat in front
of him, so that he appeared to be of boy.
ish stature. The conductor tapped him
on the shoulder, but as the passenger
simply growled, he asked in quiet way
"Your ticket, please?"
'Wats that you say?" inquired the
passenger in a muffied TONE
'Your ticket, please" repeated the
conductor.
81 hain't got any," replied the sleepy
traveller.
"Well, pay your fare" demanded the
conductor, impatiently.
81 won't do nothing o the kind"
The conductor was mad by this time,
there was no doubt about it. His face
turned livid, and slapping the man on
the shoulder, he said angrily; "If you
don't pay your fare Pllslap you over"
The change in the passenger was more
surprising. He suddenly awoke, and
drawing his feet from under the seat,
arose and stood beside the conductor,
displaying a raw boned frame about six
feet three inches in height. Drawing
his slouch hat over his eyes, he glanced
down at the frightened conductor and
asked in wheeling tone, "What was
that yeou said?"
"Your fare, please"
"Well, that's all right" the passenger
replied, going through his vest pocket
for the money, "but thought yeou said
somethin' else. st. Louis Republic.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
Single Copies S Cents
BRINGING H,m ROUND.
Young shyclSer Has lard Time Relating
His Tale of Love,

Young shvcKer ttas Lard Time Relating
His Tale of Love.
William Asbury Shucker's heart was
humping in a tumultuous way that
made his diaphragm tired. lie longed
to say to Miss Magncsia Wipedunks the
words he had carefully committed to
memory and rehearsed in the seclusion
of his barn n few hours before with
none to hear him save a l1nockkneed
and world weary old horse with bad
eye.
A blight seemed to have fallen upon
the conversation. The young man had
made several premonitory attempts to
Timber up his voice and say something,
but each effort had ended in hollow.
purposeless cough or hasty and inn
promptu gasp. It was already late in
the evening, and the moments were fly.
ing with the hideous velocity of thirty
day note on its way toward maturity.
Yet Williams tongue refused to take
any part in the exercises of the occa.
sion, and his heart kept right on with
its uncalled for and unreasonable cavort.
ing.
Perhaps glimpse of the young mans
trouble reached the maiden's inner con,
sciousness. Yea, perhaps the gentle
Magnesia Wipedunks knew exactly what
was the matter with the chicken hearted
youth and took a sort of pensive enjoy.
ment in his misery. Who can tell? Who
shall pierce the innermost recesses of O
young girls heart and drag forth to the
garish light of day the tender memories,
the budding hopes, the half formed ro.
mances that have their abiding place
there? Not the humble narrator hereof.
By the bones and other fossil remains Of
the anthropoids whom great men now
gratefully acknowledge as their ances.
tors, neverl Perish the thought Go TO,
Magnesia seated herself at the piano.
Softly her fingers strayed over the key
board, and fragments of touching old
songs seemed to float through the air in
waves of liquid melody that soothed the
agitated soul of William Asbury Shuck
ers. Dreamy, tender improvisations,
mingled with familiar themes. trem bled
and rippled forth from the magnificent
Chickerstein as if her fairy fingers
moved of their own volition. There was
pause and then the strains of one of
the noblest creations of Rossini thrilled
the listener. Now moving in slow,
measured cadences, and anon bursting
into crashing harmonies, very ava.
lanche of sound, the masters production
came like thing of life from the superb
instrument.
'Magnesia," said the young man, when
the last triumphant notes of the music
had died away, "that is wonderful
composition. have heard it hundreds
of times, but have never grown weary
of it."
Eyes" replied Magnesia, softly, sit
always seems appropriate. You know,
of course, it is the-the overture to-tc
William-Tellp'
81 wilt" exclaimed William, as he
threw himself at her feet.
1t was much later when William rose
to go. Long, long had Magnesia and he
sat in the capacious rocking chair and
mingled their smiles together. The piano
was silent. 1t had served its mission.
The overture had been grandly success.
ful. William had old.-Chicago Trib.
une.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

Great mistakes have been made in the
world, by sup, ,osing many nervous troubles
were due to bad blood. Thus headache,
fits, dizziness, sleeplessness, etc, are always
dne to weakness or irritation Of the nerv
of the brain; dyspepsia, pain, wind ETC., TO
weakness of the stomach; weak lungs :
caused by weakness of the parts; bilious
ness, constipation, etc, to weakness of the
nerves of the liver or bowels; pains,
irregularity, sterility to arrangement of the
uterine nerves. For all weakness, DIR.
Miles great nerve and brain food surpasses
all other remedies. Trial bottles zee at
Beiry's and Thomas drng stores.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
Time Changed His Notions.

Mrs. Youngwife three months aftei
marriage)-Charlie, dear, let me shave
you some time, will you?
Mr.. Youngwife-No, my darling,
can't trust you with razor; you might
cut your dear little fingers.
Mrs. Youngwife (three years after mar
riage)-Charlie, let me shave you, will
you?
Mr.. Youngwife-No, old woman, you'd
be sure to cut my throat, let alone spoil
ing the razor. Take the carving knife
and go practice on the butter. EPOCH.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
He Could Home.

49," he said in broken voice, "you
refuse to marry me-"
81 do" she said, calmly and firmly.
"And 1 may not even hope?"
eyes," she responded thoughtfully,
'you may hope"
"And why, ,".he asked with renewed
feryor, "do you say may hope"
because" she rejoined softly, "this
is free country. -Merchunt Traveller.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
IT SEEMS our YESTERDAY.

II seems but yesterday that May
Tripped lightly past nor paused 20 stay
A moment longer than 'twould take
To set her signet near and far,
In field and lane-the daisies star;
To set the grasses all ashalSe;
To kiss the world into blush
OF brier roses pink and flush,
For summers sake
10 seems but yesterday that juno
Game piping sweet n medley tune,
-Whereto the robin and the thrush
Lent each his trilling throat, the while
The locust there beside che stile,
Deep hid In tangled weed and brush,
Spun out the seasons ssein of heat,
With now "whir" of shuttle fleet,
And now n hush.
1t seems but yesterday, and yet
Today found my garden set
In silver, and the roisterer wind
Made bold to pluck me by the gown.
What time wandered up and down
The path, to see IL left behind
Was one last rose that might press
Against my withered cheek, and less
Feel time unlcnd.
Atlantic Monthly.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
what Was the Reason?

Jack-Ain't you going to work today
Jim?
Jim-No, I'm not doing anything just
now.
Jack-That so? I thought you were
with Grubbs & Stubbs.
Jim with great dignity)-Tve severed
my connection with that concern.
Jack-You have; What did they fire
you for?-Boston Courier.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
CRISP CONVERSATIONS.

In decorating Mexican theatre 70, $50
flowers were used.
At Kansas City recently young couple
were married in a drug store.
OF Southern California black cod have
been caught $50 fathoms deep.
A French woman sold her jewels for
$50, 200 and opened free hospital.
An Ohio man is in Jail for trying to
pull the nose of a justice of the peace.
A Florida paper urges the town au-
thorities to plant pear trees along the
streets.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
Undoubtedly Healthy.

sis this house healthy" said the pro
spective tenant TO the real estate man.
"Healthy? well, should say so."
"You speak very positively"
"Yes, have a right to. The last fam
fly in it had the smallpox, from the fa
ther to the youngest baby, and not one
of them died. ."-Merchant Traveller.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
POUND DFAD-

Last evenings person giving the name of
q. r. Thompson registered at Hunts Hotel
and desired to be called in season to make
the l2,p. m, train for Chicago. Being un-
able to awaken HIM, the room was entered
by means of the ventilstor oyer the door,
when the gentlemen was found to be dead.
He was an advertising agenfor SulphmBit-
ters, which has an extensive sale The
coroner returned a verdict of death from
heart disease. His body will be sent east
Immediately. ly.-CIN. COMMERCIAL.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
A buy word How muchq

A buy word How much?
Navy plugs-Old sea horses.
A chatter box-The phonograph.
Forced politeness-Bowing to necessity.
Very few persons can hold their own on
their first sea voyage.
Neighbor-Well, Glggins, what are you
raising9 Amateur gardener tsadlyl-Blls-
ters.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
OnIcker Than Thonrht.

A little boy hearing some one remark
that nothing was quicker than thought,
said he knew better than that; whistiine
was quicker than thought, and had
some marks on his legs to show for it.
Being asked to explain, he said: SIN
school, the other day, whistled before
1 thought, and got licking for IT,
Texas SiftinRs.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
Derormity From Brieht,s Diseas..

s. d. VanBuskirk, of Demarest, N. j..
says Aug. 10th, 1888: ''Dr. David Kennedy's
Favorite Remedy, of Rondoht, N. Y, has
cured our daughter of Brights Disease, after
all other means had failed She was so
swollen that she II easured As inches around
the waist, and Is inches below the knee. To
saT that we feel thankful for such boon as
Favorlte Remedy is but poor expression
of The feelings of grateful parents.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
Down to Hnrd Fncts

Testy Old Gent-Huh! Do you think
you can support my daughter in the
style to which she has been accustomed
Young Suitor-Well, no; but 1 can
support her in the style to which her
mother was accustomed for good many
years after she married you.
Old Gent (subdued)-Take her, my
son, and be happy. York Weekly.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
100 Ladies' Wanted.

And 100 men to call at druggists, for a
iroe package of Lanes Family Medicine,
the Nrea root and herb remedy, discovered
by DIR Silas Lane while in the Rocky noun
tanins. For diseases of the blood, liver and
kidneys il is positive cure. For constipa-
tion and clearing up the complexion il does
wonders. Children like it. Everyone
praises it. Large-size package, so cents.
At all Druggists.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

First Youth (at a railroad depot
Travelled far?
Second Youth-Not yet, but expect
to before stop. / am going west to
seek my fortune.
First Youth just got back. Lend me
a dime. will you?-New York Weekly.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
MERIT WINS

We desire TO say to our citizens that for wears
we have been selling Dr. Kings New Discovery
for Consumption, DIR. Kings New Life Pills.
Bucklen's Arnica Salve and Electric Bitters, and
nave never handled remedies that sell as we'll
or that have givee such universal satisfaction
We do not hesitate to guarantee them every
time, and we stand ready TO refund the purchase
price, II satisfactory results do not follow their
use. These remedies have won their great
gist. 20
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

A little four-year-old was being reproyed
by her mother. Why, Emily, she said,
when l was a little girl my mamma never
let me do such thing as that! Who was
your mamma, inquired Emily. anybody 1
kuOWP
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
. Too Ohediant.

Mistress (returned from her summer
vacation, to her cook)-I hear that you
have been entertaining your soldier lover
here. Didn't 1 forbid your entertaining
company in the kitchen during my alb.
sence?
Cook-Yes, madam, but took him to
the parlor.-Texas Siftings.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
Horticulture for lovers-Raising two-lIps

To look upon a bright, beautiful baby and re-
member that the only medicine Il ever takes Il
DR.. Bulls Baby Syrup, certainly converts an
other family TO the use OF the remedy.
The sight of an ugly inhamed boil or sore, 70
say nothing OF Its dangerous tendene y, should
induce any sufferer to try Laxador, the infalli-
bic remedy for these troublesome blood ci--
orders
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
A SENSIBLE MAN

Would use Kemp's Balsam for the throat
and lungs. 1t is curing more casesof Coughs,
Colds. Asthma, Bronchitis, Group and ali
Ih -oat and Lungs Troubles, than any other
medicine. The proprietor has authorize any
druggist to give you sample Bottle Free to
convince you of the merit Of this great rem
edy. Large Bottle SOC and 81.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05
A Prudent Plan.

Customer-Now you are quite sure you
have given me the proper drug and not
some fatal poison?
Apprentice-Well, wouldn't be real
sure. Maybe you'd better take some Of
it and see.-OmAha World-Herald.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

What is the matter, my man? Why do
you look so sad? have lost my wife. No
wonder you look sad. Besides that have
also married another.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

Sought for tho'last hundred years. reme-
dy for catarrh, hay fever and cold in the head
found at last in Ey's Cream Balm. Safe and
pleasant to use and easily applied into the nos
trils. II gives relief at once and a thorough
treatment positively cures. Price so cents
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

a musician who is famous for playing
practical jokes wrote to friend of his a
short time back thus: Dear -, ex-
pired suddenly on Wednesday last, and
am to be buried on Tuesday next. Can
you come to the funeral? Shall be glad
to see you. Yours, -" To which the
friend replied: "Dear -, Should be
happy to. come to your funeral next
Tuesday, but, unfortunately, died last
Friday myself. Yours, -"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

Prepared by combination, proportion
and process peculiar to itself, Hoods Sar-
saparilla accomplishes cures hitherto ur
known.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

Aristocratic New York Lady-I'd like
to know, Bn, ,get, what has become of
all the roast beef and cake that was left
over from dinner yesterday?
Bridget-Sure, mum, didn't yer nivei
have perlaceman calm ON yez when
you were Of my age?-Texas Siftings.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

There is not much sentiment about a
Chinese laundryman, yet he daily wrings
mems bosoms.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

He Come, now; let's kiss and make up.
ehe-fSv, DIR, won't Ha-Wen iAt,s
kiss anyhow
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

An exchange says summer is passing
rapidly away. Yes; the biggest portion Of
1t was washed away.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

A man may consider himself much bet
ter than bis neighbor, but he cannot prove
IL TO that neighbours satisfaction
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

Most fountain pens are made up of two
parts rubber, three parts ink and five parts
profanity.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-10-05

We are living, we are dwelling in a very
ticklish time. 1t not only requires cash
but nerve to live nowadays.