The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-03-07
, THEIR FIRST QUARREL.
Serious consequences Averted by q Clever
Stroke Of Diplomacy.

Serious consequences Averted by . Clever
stroke Of Diplomacy.
"Callithumpian, dear, are you ill?"
With touching solicitude the young
wife hung over her husband, a lovely
pity beaming from her mild blue eyes,
and her low, beautiful voice Vibrating
with tenderness and influenza.
mot at all, Elheda," he replied. II
am perfectly well. What makes you
think any thing is the matter with me
this morningp'
Mrs. Magruder placed her hand
soothingly on his forehead.
"Callithumpian," she persisted as
she felt his pulse and looked at her
watch apprehensively, ''show me your
tongue"
Nonsense, Elheda! / tell you q m
as we'll as ever was in my life. ID ont
be foolish, my Lowell"
''Do you call it foolish, CALI
thumpian, for me to be concerned
about your healthP"
Certainly, Elfleda, when there is no
cause for any concern"
''1t is nothing, my dear, that your
hand seems to tremble. that you head
is hot, and that you drink q quart of
water before breakfast"
Nothing, my love. Every man is
affected in that way once in awhile.
1t only indicates IA kind of-um-ah
-billiousness that passes away in a
short time"
"But you ought to do something for
1t, Callithumpian.
II tell you, Elheda, don't need any
thing. Don't make such fuss about
nothing. Why, I can see that your
nose is trihe redder than usual this
morning, but it doesn't alarm me. I'm
not going to tear the house upside
down about it."
"You are mistaken, Callith umpian-
and it's mean Of you to say SO. any
how"
:, 'If your nose isn't any redder than
1t has been all along" said the young
husband, as he looked at it critically,
"then all I've got to say is that you've
been doing the most artistic work in
calcimining it for the last six months
that / ever knew a woman to do, and
you have forgotten to smear any thing
on it this morning"
"Mr. Magruder, you-you're heart
less, insulting, deceitful--"
Take care, Mrs. Magruder. Don't
talk about deceit, if you please. Re-
member. when l was going to see you
there never was q time when l could
get TO examine your family Bible, and
you always claimed to be only twenty
two years"
"You talk about deceit, Mr.. Magru-
der! Who was it hid that bottle labeled
furniture polish that wasn't furniture
polish at all in the woodshed--"
"Who was it, madam, that brought
to the table loaf OF Boston cream
bread she had made with her own fair
hands, and it happened that her own
fair hands had neglected to remove the
bakers tag"
"Mr. Magruder," exclaimed the
young wife, as she rose to her feet and
looked at him with superb scorn,
"after what has happened this morn
ing it will be impossible, OF course, to
carry out our plans for the coming
season. 1t would be mockery. Aunt
Ann, as you may remember, sir, was
coming to make us visit and stay
five or six weeks. shall write to her
not to come"
Callithumpian W. Magruder threw
himself at his wife's feet
"Are you going to do that, ElaedaP"
he gasped, his eyes blazing with un-
controllable excitement
II am, sir!" she replied, firmly,
coldly, relentlessly.
my darling!' he murmured, in a
broken voice, as he buried his face in
the folds of her dress, ''forgive me!
You are an angel! Only keep that
promise and life will be full Of JOY for
us once more!'-Chicago Tribune.