davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26
Was Preferable to Blind Copy

When Charles Dudley Warner was
the editor of the Hartford Conn.
Press, back in the "sixties, arousing
the patriotism Of the state with his
vigorous appeals, one Of the type-set-
ters came in from the composing room
and, planting himself before the edi-
tor, said: well. Mr.. Warner, I've
decided TO enlist in the army" With
mingled sensations OF pride and re-
sponsibility, Mr.. Warner replied en-
couragingly that he was glad to see
the man felt the call of duty. "Oh,
it isn't that said the truthful com
position. "but I'd rather be shot than
try to set any more Of your---copy.
Book Buyer.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

with Local APPLICATION, "a they cannot
reach the seat of the disease Catarrh is
q blood or constitutional disease, and i'm
order TO cure it you have 10 take internal
remedies. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken
internally, and acts directly on the blood
and mucus surface. I'll Il = Catarrh Cure
is no quack medicine IL was prescribed
by one Of the best physicians in this coun.
try years. and is ~ regular prescrlpt on.
IL J. compo ed OF the best tonics known,
comb ned with the best blood purifiers,
acting directly on the mucus surface The
perfect combination OF the two Ingredients
is what produces such wonderful results in
curing caiarrh. Send for 10 timonials
free.
FL. CHENEY & Co, Prop, Toledo,O.
Sold by druggists, price 7j cep-s.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26
Music Maddened Her.

A young lady, a lovely woman and de-
voted wife, was "a slave TO the pa sion OF
music She had beautiful voice, was al
ways singing on available occasions, and
was greatly admired for her gilt. The
man in this case was "a tenor. never cred
tied tenOrs with heroic place in the trag-
edIes Of life, but in this instance / suppose
many men would lillcn him 10 hero. A
hero OF their own class Under the mys-
tic influence Of passionate duet from one
of those Italian operas one night TIE pas
sions OF those two people met Had IL not
been for the music the d niger was as far
away from tie young wife as am from her
at this moment She went home trembling
and shattered with the burden Of her own
shame, and throwing herself on her knees
before her husband told him al
He-rare fellow that he was-forgave
her.
Hardly had the blessed words Of forgive
ness pa sed his lips, he had barely clasped
her in the safety of his arms, when a
strange look cume into her eyes. She m
menced 10 murmur the melcdy Of that fatal
duet
Then came loud shrii! laugh She
was raving maniac.
Joe jefferson is going 10 write an auto
biography for publication in the Century
magazine.
Blanche Griffin, Mary Anderson's hall
sister, denies the rumor that she is going on
the 50 pc
Mrs James Brown Potter bathes in VIC
let water which costs her the whole Of s. q
Gnart.
The Authors club Of New York is &c
have a house Of lis own, and will either
rentor build.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

Prominent Clergemen, Physicians and
all classes OF citizens are unanimous in the
Endorsement OF Salvation Oil, the great
cure for Rheumatism. Price only % cents
bottle. AT all Druggists.
Young ladies, on the eve Of marriage. now
give "spinster dinners at which female
friends only are entertained. They are al
lowed TO talk of everything, and never
fail TO mention the numerous curative
benefits of DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup that
cures all cough, cold, bronchitis, Group, and
sore throat.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26
"That Miss Jones is nice looking girl

"That Miss Jones is a nice looking girl
ism I shel"
ayes, and she'd be the belle OF the town
if ii wasn't for one thing"
"What thatW
she has catarrh so bad that IL Is IN
pleasant TO be near her. She has tried a
dozen things and nothing helps her | am
sorry, for like her, but that doesn't make
1t any less disagreeable for one TO be
around her.
Now if she had used DR. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy, there would have been nothing of
the kind said, for it will cure catarrh every
time.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26
DnknIn's Iknnm.

Dakota is now engaging public attention
through her efforts 10 achieve statehood, as
well as by her phenomenal growth and the
rapid developement of her wonderful agri-
cultural resources, and the advantages she
offers 10 hOme-seekers and persons desiring
safe and profitable investments a new
pamphlet containing recent letters citing
the actual experiences Of reliable residents,
and other valuable Information relating TO
Dakota, will be mailed free upon request
BY f.. +. Wilson, No. 70 Fifth Avenue, Chi
cago, Ill.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26
Outliyed All of Them.

Visitor Tin tone OF gentle reprooD-I
suppose, auntie. you have never had the op-
cietyi
Auntie (aged one hundred and FOUR
Laws, yes, honcv placing live cIol on
top Of pipe I've had the chance OF iinin'
puff many one puff, pun In my time
FJureen OF 'em have pun have died right
we're, one after the other, sence | come Ia
the town, about QUIZ ninety three yurs
ago (puff, pun Chicago Tribune
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26
Satisfaction Wanted.

Magistrate (to Mrs. Con Kelly
you claim, Mrs. Kelly, that Mrs,
O'Tooihan gave you that bruised and
blackened face?"
Mrs. Con Kelly "She did, yel
honor. or I'm not Irish born"
Magistrate And what you want i:
damages"
Mrs. Kelly Nav, sir; | want sat
isfaction. have damages enough. >
Editors Drawer of Harper's Maya.
zine.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26
No Such Luck.

Billy-''What's the matter, JackP
you look blue. "
Jack Ia e"une-"The old story.
Proposed, like an ass, an I've got
Billy-"1Yie mittenp"
Jack-"No such luck. I've got to
buy a diamond ring
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26
An Exraord,nnry Phenomenon.

No other term than the above would APP
ply 10 the woman who could see her youth
full beauty fading away without pang of
regret Many g. woman becomes prema-
turely old aad haggard because of func.
tional arrangements. What pity that all
such do not know that DR. Pierces Favor
tie Prescription will restore their organs to
a normal state, and make them youthful
and beautiful once more! For the ills to
which the daughters of Eve are peculiarly
liable the "Prescription" is sovereign
remedy. II is the only medicine sold by
druggists under a positive guarantee from
the manufacturers, that IL will give satis
faction in every case, or money will be re-
turned See guarantee on bottle wrapper
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

AS the hair has a shadow, 50 the slightest
disease Of the scalp threatens the hair. Tut
the sea p in healthy condition by the use OF
Warmers Log Caoin HAIR TONIC
1T restores the hair ana has no equal
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

Onions are selling at one cent bushel al
Cdnastota, y. y.
The London World is slid TO net its own
err $4,000 year.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

Javas supply Of lizards il said to be ex-
hausted by the demand for that reptile
hide for purses.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

Smoke the Sheriff Sale Segar straight
10c Havana cigar for &c.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

There are now $500, 900 total abstainers
in the United Kingdom.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26
Sale

The Chicago Inter Ocean is TO build an
Office 20 cost SOC COO.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

A masculine beauty show is being ar
ranged for Vienna, where the woman viii
be the Judges.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

Scott's Emulsion Of Cod Liver Oil, with
Hypophosphites, is most marvellous food
and medicine. Ii heals the irritation of the
throat and lungs, and gives flesh and
strength quicker than any other remedy
known. il is very palatuble, having none
Of the disagreeable taste OF the crude oil.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26
Catnrrh CANT be Cured

Prince Karl Ludwig of Wurtemberg, II
a dentist of New Orleans
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26
FnnhrnrCnn.unnrIxe..

Senator Sherman is going to Europe 10
spend the coming summer.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

Then came q loud shlii! laugh! She
/ was "A raving maniac.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

Joe jefferson is going 10 write an auto
| biography for publication in the Century
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-04-26

griffin, Mary Anderson's half
les the rumor that she is going on
, 1889-09-14

Old Mrs. Baron Mure told me that Lord
Byron's mother was a fool and his father
was a rascal. He poisoned his first wife,
Lady Caermarthen, who was divorced
from him because her father, Lord Hold
ernesse, left his money to her illegitimate
children, and he had nothing more to
expect. Miss Gordon, though she was
told of this, and had a fortune of e3, 000
q year, married him. He spent all her
estate, saving about ESQ a year, On which
she lived with her son in a garnet at Aber-
deem, supported in a great measure by
her friends, who, when they killed a COW
or sheep, would send her part. She was
always fat. When Mrs. Siddons appeared
first in Edinburgh Miss Gordon took a
hysteric fit in the playhouse, chung round
Mrs. Mure's neck, kicked off her shoes,
and was carried out by Mr.. Dundas, now
chief baron, and put into Lord Napier's
carriage, which conveyed her, screaming
all the way, to Georges square, where
she then resided with Baron Clark's
UNDERGRADUATES K. Sharpe.
, 1889-09-14
limitations Of Old Rronze.

An excellent imitation of old bronze
has been introduced in some of the art
products of that character. 1t is well
known that the repeated applications to
copper or brass of alternate washes of
dilute acetic acid and exposure to the
fumes OF ammonia result in a very an
tique green bronze; but n more rapid
method of producing this beautiful ap-
pearance has long been n desideratum.
1t is now found that this may be- accom-
plished by immersing the articles in a
solution of N part perchloride of iron
in two parts of water, the tone acquiring
darkness with length of immersion, or
the materials may be boiled in n strong
solution of nitrate of copper. 1t is also
found practicable to insure the desired
effect by immersing the articles in a solu-
ton of two ounces of nitrate of iron and
the same quantity Of hyposulphite of soda
in half a pint of water, drying and burn
ishing completing the process.-New
York Telegram.
, 1889-09-14
A Lnndon Cahby,s Enrli,h.

One does not expect to speak his
mother tongue in the highways and by
ways of Paris, Berlin or Vienna, but In
London n hopes at least to be under
stood, as is often not the case. A Wash
i~ngtonian doing the sights of this Eng
lish capital ordered his cabman to drive
to the Alhambra. Where is it, STRIP
asked the cabby. "Well, my man, that's
what / don't know and what you ought
to know, if you pretend to know your
business" Poor cabby was nonplused
and asserted with evident modification
that though he had made his living as a
London cabman since boyhood he had
never heard of such a place as the AL
hambra. why" said the much dis,
gusted American, 'it's a place where
they have music and dancing and plenty
to drink" "Ohi it's the Helumbria you
mean, sir" and with a sarcastic smile on
his face at the pronunciation of his
American cousin lie drove to the place
in question.-Washington Herald.
, 1889-09-14

The Buddhists In Burmah do not con.
slider the question Of expense in beauti-
flying their temples. Here is the descrip-
ton of the new vane of a pagoda at
Rangoon: 1.-THE vane is about three feet
by one and n half feet broad, and thickly
crusted with precious stones and lovely
fans of the red Burmese gold. One ruby
alone is worth 5000 rupees, and there
are several hundred rubies alone on this
beautiful thing. On the tip of the iron
rod on which works the vane is a richly
carved and perforated gold ornament
called the Semboo. 1t is somewhat egg
shaped and n foot In height, tipped by an
enormous diamond encircled by many
smaller ones crusted on like barnacles.
All over this exquisite oval object are
similar clumps Of diamonds, no other
stone being used for this part. st.
Louis Globe-D Democrat.
, 1889-09-14
JOKING IN
Prank. which Often Proceed from seriou.

HrAnks Nhich Often Proceed from serious
or Malicious Purpose.
The various professions have their own
records of practical jokes, which too
often proceed from some serious or mali
cious purpose. One such prank, under
taken with vengeful design, was that of
the Belgian painter Writ, who, year
after year, SEN pictures to the Salon,
only to have them returned, as the
judges, whose duty it was to pass upon
the pictures submitted, would have
nothing to do with him.
Finally he became possessed of a
genuine Rubens, which he sent off to the
Salon bearing his own name. 1t was at
once sent back to him, and then, as the
phrase goes, he had the judges on the
hip, and could taunt them with not
knowing the work of a master when
they saw 1t.
Another such practical joke wa play
ed upon the late Mime. Rudersdorff by
Sir Michael Costa, the conductor. At
rehearsal one day the lady declared that
she could not sing her song as it was
written, but must have it transposed
half a note lower.
"But, madam" said Costa, ''consider
the Inconvenience, especially 10 the vino
instruments, and particularly as all my
men cannot be counted upon to transpose
at sight"
But madame was obdurate, and Costa,
Struggling his shoulders, bowed in acqui-
escence.
VERY well, gentlemen" said he, turn
ing to the bewildered orchestra, and
closing his score. Tomorrow you will
play it a note lower"
The next day, however, just before
Mime. Rudersdorff came on to sing, Costa
whispered to the orchestra: ''In the orig
inal keyl No change" And SO it was
sung.
AT the close of the air the singer turned
to Costa and thanked him warmly.
Il am charmed" she said.
Madame" replied Costa, with a touch
of pleasant irony, 1--WE are also charmed.
You sang it in the original key"
Had Nine. Rudersdorff's ear been as
unerringly correct as that of certain phe-
nomenal musicians the joke could never
have been successfully carried out, but
the conductor, of course. knew with
whom he had to deal.-Youth's Com
panion,
, 1889-09-14

A country schoolmistress had much
trouble with her pupils, and to avoid ii
made her examples placed before them
of an explanatory character or illustra-
tive. The effect was often unexpected.
In going owe their usual reading lesson
a line was chosen by the lady upon which
to test the merits of the scholars. The
line read, "And he was a man of unlim-
tied credit in business"
"Now, John, can you tell me what is
meant by the word credit when used as
in this lessonp"
Thus she addressed one of the STUN
bling blocks of the school.
81 dunno, marm," said Johnny, look
ing sheepish.
"You don't knowl" said the mistress.
We'll, look here. Surprising your
mother vas to come short of money at
the latter part of the week, and needed
provisions, ETC., now what would she
dor
She was satisfied that her illustration
was plain, and awaited the correct reply,
and it came thus:
"Well, marm," replied Johnny, 81
dunno what she would do, unless she
pawned dads Sunday coat"
The subject was instantly dropped,
and the teacher has lost all faith in that
style of illustration.-Young Ladies'
Journal.
, 1889-09-14

81 sometimes am almost led to believe
that the intellectual benefit derived from
a public library is outweighed by the
fell from the lips of a distinguished
physician a day or two ago, as he rather
gingerly handled a greasy looking vol
ume that ornamented the mantel piece
of a patients sick chamber.
"Not only is a bookworm's absorption
often injurious to his health, but 1t is a
well authenticated fact that disease may
be written between the ines of books, be
they fiction, poetry or theology. The
average patron of a circulating library is
a person not overscrupulous as to the
care of a borrowed volume. He will al
low filth to accumulate rapidly within
and without, and, if a member of the
household be stricken with measles, or
s~carlatina, or even diphtheria or small
pox, like as notthe book will find its way
into the presence or the lap of the invalid,
to be transferred thence a little later to
the shelves of the library, and then to the
hands of some unsuspecting reader.
1.-The leaves of the book easily absorb
the germs of disease that foat in the at,
mosphere. Microscopes nave brought to
light the fact hat bacilli sometimes over
sprinkle q page with the frequency of
periods and commas. The handling of
such a book might be fatal to the reader.
1t Is not actually known that many i'll
nesses result from such causes, but there
is always the danger.
, 1889-09-14

The sea horse is so called because he
hasn't the least resemblance to a horse,
and because he is never seen in the sea.
The name was given him by some smart
Alec who felt awfully funny that day.
Some years later another smart Alec
changed the name to sea COW, but that
doesn't hit any closer. They are found
in rivers and lagoons instead of the sea,
and they resemble COWS rs much as a
stuffed woodchuck does n live lion.
The principal occupation of a sea horse
cow, as we are obliged to call him, is
promenading around on the muddy bot
toms of muddy rivers, satisfying his
hunger on the best the land affords, and
making the neighborhood highly I'M
comfortable for African gentlemen out
fishing in their canoes. He has no am
bition beyond that, and il undisturbed
would let the world wag along and mind
his own business. Naturalists claim that
he is very docile and affectionate when
in captivity, and the day may come when
he will replace the poodle dog as a pet.
His span of life is supposed to be sixty
years, but hat doubtless depends a great
deal on the care he takes of himself. II
h newly discovered elixir of life works
as is hoped for, the sea h~orse-cow's days
may be extended over a hundred years.
Detroit Free Press.
, 1889-09-14
A Mirage on the Plains.

We witnessed the most perfect mirage
we even saw on the Laramie plains
Tuesday evening. 1t was about an hour
before sunset, and looking out of a car
window we saw about a mile away a
beautiful lake. 1t was in a slight de-
preston among the hills, and seemed to
be about two miles long by a mile wide.
Never having noticed n lake at that
place oil the road, we were considerably
astonished, and asked the conductor for
an explanation. He was equally aston
ished, rs were passengers familiar with
the road. AS the train advanced the
lake appeared to enlarge and rise, but In
spite of this it was difficult to believe
the appearance was simply that optical
delusion known as mirage, and that
what appeared to be a lake was n grassy,
level plain. The apparent lake was as
smooth and bright as a mirror, except at
one edge, where 1t appeared to be rufled
by the wind. The strange sight was
viewed with wonder by hundreds of pas
sengers until 1t was out of sight.-Rock
Springs CWy. IT, Independent.
, 1889-09-14
The Flag That Tripped Up Booth.

a handsome mahogany case, contain
ing a silk flag with gold bullion fringe,
occupies nearly all the available space
of the wall in the southern part of the
of Capt. Cobaugh at the treasury
department. Every visitor to the depart
ment is shown the flag and attention is
generally invited to a tear in one of its
strips. The flag formerly belonged to
the Treasury guards, a volunteer organ
ization formed during the war for emer-
gencies that might arise at the capital of
the nation. After the fall of Richmond,
and the night that President Lincoln
went to Ford's theatre, the flag, which
was then attached to a stout rosewood
flagstaff, was borrowed by John I. Ford
for decorative uses about the box occu-
pied by the president. When the assassin
fired the shot whose echo was heard
throughout the civilized world he leaped
from the box, and in doing 80 caught the
rowel of his spur in the silken folds of
the starry banner protruding from the
presidents box. That slip probably cost
Booth his life, for the flag tripped him
and caused the broker leg which imped-
ed him in his efforts to escape and rem
dered him an easy victim for Sergt.
Boston Corbett's rifle ball. Subsequently
the flag was returned to the treasury de-
partment, and during the few days that
President johnson had his Office In the
department the flag was in a corner of
the apartment. 1t was removed, how
ever, by Capt. Cobaugh to its present
resting place, and the staff was made
into three canes and presented to officials
of the treasury department.-Washing
ton Letter in Philadelphia News.
, 1889-09-14

Pigeon flying is one of the delights of
the Black country, and n Birmingham,
Eng, paper gives a curious account of
it. 1t is a passion with the working
men, and it takes some of them COM
pletely away from their work. With
the majority, however, it is no more han
the ordered pastimes of the first day of
the week. 1t has developed quite a new
branch OF railway traffic in the district.
1t is the practice of flyers to send their
birds in baskets, addressed to the station
master at a particular station, with the
request that he will release them, mark
on the label the time they were released
and return the basket. What is most
singular is that this is regularly done.
An important traffic has grown up in
this way, with a tariff for pigeon baskets
and returned empties. Railway COM
panies at first set their faces against it,
but finally tool n nor enlightened view
of their own interests and of the wants
of their customers. They were probably
influenced by the consideration that the
officials rather liked the work. In cloudy
weather porters have been known to
feed birds three days before setting them
free. The only inconvenience is that,
where n bird fails to reach his destina-
ton, the obliging official is sometimes
accused OF being "got at" by a rival
fier. This suggests a certain democrat
izing tendency in the pastime, and the
suggestion may be confirmed by the re-
vival OF a well worn anecdote. An aged
penitent, who had loved pigeon flying
not wisely but too well, was assured by
his ghostly comforter on his death bed,
that they would both meet in a better
place with wings to their backs. The
dying man suddenly forgot his anxieties
in the ribald offer to Fly" the parson
for a sovereign when they arrived.
, 1889-09-14
THEY BORROW, BUT NEVER RETURN

oh, the ills of this life are many,
And the heart breakings not a few.
Pures sympathy comes not from any.
II matters not much what you do.
/ can sometimes trust my umbrella,
Nor over its lingering yearn,
But the books ! lend to a fellow.
They never, no. never return.
The harvest may wait for the reaPen
Tho tailor may sleep DER your clothes
But the earth is plagued with book keepers
And no one n cure for II knows
The sunshine that goes from the Meadow
Comes back when the frosts shall adjourn,
And the leaves play again with their shadows
But my books viii never return
once had the wisdom of ages
Shut up in my glass case for use.
Now tits gone, by invisible Stages,
Prom Murray 10 old Mother Goose.
My Euclid, | still can remember,
Like the odor from some ancient urn
Went out to come back In December,
That December win not return
Lend your friend. your dog. yea, your sister.
You will ind each some day, no doubt;
But a book goes down the long vista
And ten to one never comes out
Do l know whom l made the loan toy
No, but my brains ] need not churn,
What matters Il where they have gone TOT
know they viii never return.
Union and Advertiser
, 1889-09-14
Florida ~sponges.

The finest and best sponges in the
world are now obtained along the Flori-
da Keys. Native F1oridians do the prin-
cipal gathering. There are some Bahama
Islanders also. The sponge fishers are
called conks. They do not dive, but tear
up the sponges with three tined forks on
long poles. A Greek came down from
New York a year or SO ago and tried
gathering them by diving, using regular
divers suit, but he made a failure of it.
The sponges grow rapidly. A bed which
has been fished clean will be covered
with a new growth in six months. The
product amounts to nearly half a million
dollars annually.-True Flag.