The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1889-01-22
MR.. AND MRS. BOWsER.
Mrs. Bowser in Detroit Free Press.

W. DO"SCI liz poi UICu1hI OOlCSG
have you In paving around after this
fashion? Do you expect another dollar?
"DOn't you want me to caress you,
Mr.. Bowser?"
az don't want you to act silly. We
are too old for such nonsense"
"And yet you once expressed the hope
that we might never let an hour go by
without a caress."
al did, eh?" I never expressed any
such thingI"
"And you further said you could sit
and hold my hand a whole lifetime and
not be weary"
81 never did-neverl"
"But I can prove it."
eff you can I'll give you $50!'
I went up stairs and got my notebook.
Up to the date of our marriage 1 pre-
served and filed all his letters. On our
bridal tour I kept a memorandum book.
Mother advised it, and | lave found it to
be a powerful lever on occasions when
Mr.. Bowser has been inclined to act up"
When I came down with the book he
roared out:
"Got that old book out again, have
you'll That's no evidenced I brand the
contents as a base forgeryl"
"But they are facts for all that. Let's
see. Here we start. After the ceremony
was over you said to mother:
STATEMENT IL will call you by the
sacred nam of mother. You nave given
me your only daughter. l will be a true
and loving husband to her. I will guard
her as l do my life. 1 will never, so help
me Heaven, speak one unkind word to
her.
"There it is, Mr.. Bowser, and how
have you kept that promise? I"
"Never said a thing of the sort-never!
I don't remember of your mother being
there. You probably wrote that down
this very day"
awe were married at Z a. m, Mr..
Bowser, and at 8:15 we took the train for
Chicago. You held my hand all the way
to the depot"
"Mrs. Bowser, are you crazyI Do you
want to make out that | was a born
idiot?"
"Well, here is the proof:
"STATEMENT II.-'As we got into the
hack Mr.. Bowser had tears in his eyes.
He took my hand and called me his angel
and I had to wipe my nose left-hand all
the way to the depot. I think the driver
saw him, for I heard him chuckling and
saying something about you'd get over it
in about a yearp
"There it is, Mr.. Bowser, in black and
white. This is the very way you held
me for two milesT'
~ deny it in toto! Mrs. Bowser, I've
got to sit down and nave a sharp talk
with you"
"The other night" I continued, you
were about to put your arm around me
as we stood in the hall, but Oh second
thought concluded not to-"
az am no hand to spoon, Mrs, Bowser
never was. Such things look silly in
old married people"
"But you Rugged me for 28O miles"
"What!'
"From Detroit to Chicago, Mr.. Bowser,
on that same bridal tour"
"Well, here's the proof:
STATEMENT III.-Left Detroit at $40.
Mr.. Bowser put his arm around me at
once, and though the passengers winked
and guyed US for a bridal couple, he said he
didn't care a copper. Rugged me all the
way to Chicago. Said he wished the ride
would last a year. Said that Heaven had
sent me to him. | write this in room A,
fremont House, while Mr.. Browser is
down to look after the trunk"
"That-that's there, is it?' gasped Mr..
Bowser.
"Of course it isl"
And [ had my arm around you all
day, giving myself dead away?"
"You did"
II will never believe it-never. l
own up to being a little soft in my bach
elor days, but [ was no hayseed. You
are drifting to a dangerous point, Mrs.
Bowser, and you should pause ere 1t is too
lateI'
81 love to go over the old times once
in a while and see how you have changed"
"Changedl Changed! That's it! If
a husband isn't making a fool of himself
all the time his wife argues that he is
growing cold and dissatisfied. How have
I changed?'
"You never call me your Birdie any
more"
ooh, I don't. l suppose you've got
proof that l used to call you Birdie, when
your front name is SARAH"
II have, sir! Listen while l read:
STATEMENT IV-Mr. Bowser bought
some gum-drops of the train-boy to feed
his Birdie, as he said, but / never liked
them. He called me Birdie from that to
Chicago and back, and it meant more to
him than the name Angel!"
"Mrs. Bowser ~ he shouted, as he
jumped up, "is my presence desired in
this house?"
"Of course it is"
"Then do not try to drive me out of it.
/ see now how wives have driven hus-
bands to desperation
"Sit down, Mr.. Bowser. We are
simply living over old times for a brief