davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
TRIPLES.

Assisting representatives up stairs to
bed is even beyond the patience of Sena-
tor Kellar, especially with one leg in
your pants and the other out.
Senator Eaton is the recipient of a
bouquet of wild mustard and Canada
thistleS.
have supplied representatives Of the
house with free pass for their wives
Sin the interests of morality"
When Republican senators are squab-
bling over retrenchment and reform,
Senator Durant chuckleS to himself
I'VE bide our time.'
"Belyea, me darling, where are ye?''
--HiXson.
I'm the p.''-Belyea.
During the discussion On retrench-
ment and reform Senator Chapman said
when he was boy he acted as boy,
but as he grew up to manhood he put
away childish things. Senators looked
at each other and asked: What does
he mean?"
There is Terre Haute girl so modest
that she won't listen to bear story
Toronto Globe.
The best evidence of Omaha's pros
perity is the unbounded confidence of
her public-spirited men IN her FUTURE
Omaha Bee.
IAN American whaler seized by the
Portuguese" Great guns. Whatare we
coming to when a geographical ex-
preston" dares attempt to bully us?-
Richmond Dispatch.
Descriptions often tell amiss,
The jester shows wordy sport.
For palest men are sometimes flush,
The talleSt man is often short.
Merchant Traveller.
A great man is happiest when he can
sit down and write his memoirs and for
get all the mean things he knows about
himself.-New Orleans Picayune.
Miss Lovelorn-The professor says [
have the inventive genius. Miss Caus-
tique-Perhaps you misunderstood him.
No doubt he meant you were full of
new wrinkles.-New York Sun.
Stranger (after ten years absence)-
What became of Bad, Luck & Co? When
l left they were in financial straits
selling out at cost. They are
at the old stand-stiil selling out-New
York Weekly.
Mrs. De Culture-Horrors. Going to
marry that young Mr.. Hayseed! Are
Miss De Culture know it ma, but
love him. You'll die of disgust"
mo l won't. I'll never have pie."-
Philadelphia Record.
De Jones (haughtily)-I cawn't see,
me good man. why you should appeal to
me for relief! Tramp-Well, sor, Oh
saw yez borry somethin' from yer friend
down beyant, and as we'd both been
broke Oh thought Old trust to yer fell
low feelin'!-Texas Siftings.
Mistress-Marie. l saw you kissing
young man at the kitchen door this
morning, l want you to understand
that will not stand that sort of thing
at all. Marie-Pardon me, madame; /
did not know the young man was
friend of yours. 1t shall not occur
again.-Terre Haute Express.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
WINDOW WHISPERS.

Senator Blackburn does not deserve
the least credit for pulling Chandler'S
ears. Chandler is buff0on and a
BLACKBOARD, but Mr.. Blackburn was not
sent to the senate to pull ears.-St.
Louis Republican.
A delegation from Minnesota is said
to be travelling eastward armed with
clubs, bludgeons, guns, knives, and
dynamite, and wearing white caps. 1t
is further understood that as soon as
President Harrison gets down to the
name of Window this aggregation from
Minnesota will eyerlastingly knock the
socks off the feet OF President Harrison
and give that official to understand that
William Window having left his bed
and board in Minnesota. is not entitled
to be credited to that state ''any more
forever" What President Harrison will
do in the face of protest like this no
man knows. But most likely James
Gillespie Blaine will arise and move, as
premier, that "this administration is
able to take care of its own business
Chicago Times.
New York will have no cause to grum-
BILE if Window is put into the cabinet.
Although Window was born in Ohio,
and practieed law there for several
years, and subsequently represented
Minnesota in both branches of congress,
he has for few years past been resi-
dent of New York city. Is at this mo-
ment as unquestionably and completely
identified with the interests of New
York as are Thomas c. Plat. Chauncey
NJ. Depew, Warner Miller, or Frank
Hiscock. If he enters the cabinet he
will, practically speaking, enter as a
New Yorker, and not as MinneSotian.
His record as secretary of the treas
ury in the administration of President
Garfield shows that he belongs to the
so-called Wall street school of tinanciers
rather than to the school which was
popular in the West few years ago,
and which has some conspicuous repre-
sentatives in the West still. In fact,
with Window and Miller in the cabinet
New York would have two representa-
tives in that body. No state favored to
this extent can consistently or reasail-
ably consider itself Slighted.-St Louis
ClOhp-Dpmoprat (Rhn
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
THE TOBACCO TAX.

1t is not expected that consumers will
reap any benefit from the success of the
effort to remove the internal revenue
tax on tobacco. They are not asking
for the removal. If the prices were to
go down, where would be the advantage
the growers are so eagerly anticipating?
The latter are liable to enjoy their in
creased margins for but a brief period.
The protective forces will make the re-
moval Of the customs on tobacco one of
their early efforts. In spite of its COM
mon use tobacco is properly classed
with the luXuries, and the tax upon it is
natural and easy. Perhaps it is de-
signed to class it with sugar growing
and pay a bounty. The Republicans
and Mr.. RANDALL will be able to re-
peal the tax in the next congress, if not
in this,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
BENJAMIN BUCKS.

Gen. HARRISON has signified his in
tention to be present at the inaugural
ball, but authorizes the announcement
that he will not dance. There is an old
saying that it is no worse to eat devil
flesh than to drink devil broth. If, as
1t seems to be in Gen. HARsIsoN's es-
timation, it is sinful to dance, then it is
equally sinful to encourage dancing.
1t is possible that, under the stress of
Washington social customs and political
necessities combined, Gen. HARRISON
will have to shelve good many of the
Puritanical ideas that he is taking into
the White house with him. If this is to
be grandfather's administration, Gen.
HARRISON should inaugurate it by do
ing as his grandfather used to do in log
cabin and hard cider days-go into the
dance and cut the ''pigeon wing'' at
every turn of the reel.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON MILLER.

WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON MILLER.
n. Y, nearly forty-eight years ago.
His father was Wing, and an ardent
admirer of Gen. Harrison. Miller en-
tered Hamilton college at sixteen years
of age, and was graduated at twenty.
When he left college he taught school
and studied law at the same time for
two years. He pursued reading under
the instruction of Judge Waite. Of To-
ledo, O., afterward chief justice of the.
United States supreme court. Com
pleting his studies, he returned to
Oneida county, and was married. Soon
after he took his bride to Fort Wayne,
Ind, where he began practice. He re-
manned at Fort Wayne eight years. and
three children we're born to him there
The eldest is now twenty-five years of
age;~the next, son, is a Junior at Ham
ilton college, and the third is daughter
about seventeen years Of age. Miller
stood at the head of the Fort Wayne
bar. In 1874 he received an offer of
partnership with Gen. Harrison in In
dianapolis. The offer was at once ac-
cepted, and he and his family removed
to Indianapolis and became intimate
friends and cOnfidants of the Harri-
sons. the most intimate, it is stated, that
the preSident-elect ever had.
In everything that pertains to his bus
mess, Mr.. Miller is model of precision,
and Gen. Harrison has come 10 regard
him as absolutely necessary to him,
whether IN or out of office. The admi-
ration is mutual, and the president-elect
has no more disinterested admirer in
the state than his former law partner.
Mr.. Miller has grown rich in the prac-
tice of the law, and his house in Indian
apOllS is an elegant one.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
THE TONGUE.

''The homeless tongue, so small and weak,
Can crush and kill, - declared the Greek.
''The tongue destroys greater horde,''
The Turk asserts, than does the sword"
The Persian proverb wisely saith,
"a lengthy tongue-an early DEATH"
Or sometimes takes this form instead,
Don't let your tongue cut off your head
'aThe tongue can speak word whose speed 81
Says the Chinese, ''outstrips the steed.''
While Arab sages this impart.
1.-The tongues great storehouse is the heart. y
From Hebrew wit the maxim sprung,
Though feet should slip ne'er let the
tongue"
The sacred writer crowns the whole,
''Who keeps his tongue doth keep his soul"
Galveston News.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
DAKOTA TALK.

The st. Paul GLOBE last Friday morn
ing appeared with a new deal in the
matter of head lines. Each one was
taken from the works of some promi-
nent author. largely from Shakespeare,
and properly credited to the same. The
task of writing them must have been a
burdenSome one indeed.-Dakota Re
publican.
There is nothing small or swinish
about Huron. Compelled to again fight
for that which she had once fairly won,
she accepts the conditions, not with
complainingS and accusations against
her would-be rivals, but with prompt
and hearty congratulations to all the
people of South Dakota upon their
happy relief from territorial Servitude.
Huron Democrat.
"Biil" Springer has proved himself a
greater friend to Dakota than some OF
the small-fry Republican politicians
tried to make out last fall in their
stump speech Oratory, and in the matter
of the omnibus bill has shown greater
magnanimity than any other member of
congress would have done. He has stood
back and seen one after another of the
provisions of his bill eliminated, and
has still exclaimed, do what you will,
gentlemen, but for Gods sake grant the
territories statehood. hickey Leader.
To Mr.. Springer: Six hundred thou
sand people in Dakota rise up to-day
and call you blessed. Many of them
once thought you hostile to Dakota, but
all now see in you an able and cOnSci-
entious friend. If you ever tire of life
in illinois come out to the new state of
South Dakota and make your home with
us The best we have will be for you,
even unto the leadership of the Demo
cratic hosts in the bright young state
you have done so much to make. The
Dakotians appreciate all her friends at
Washington, but most of all the man
whose abilities, and Judgment, and per-
severance steered the measure past all
all difficulties and safe into the hands
of Grover Cleveland.-SiouX Falls
Argus.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
IT'S EVER THUS.

Our local columns this morning con-
tain mighty strong temperance SER
mon. They tell the story of the mis-
fortunes that have befallen a young
couple we'll known in ST. Paul society.
NO matter about the story-it is the
moral of it we are trying to impress.
The young man who attempts to wrestle
with whisky should understand at the
outset OF the contest that the odds are
all against him. No matter how radiant
the future may seem, or how fair pros
pect the pathway of life may present
when you enter upon it. the chances are
ninety-nine in hundred that there will
be an abrupt termination to it all if you
stop by the wayside to daily with the
flowing bowl.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02

Moore to the executioner as he as
cended the scaffold, .'help me up. AS
for my coming down l will shift for my
self" The illustration is extreme, but
1t is thus that our presidents 90 out.
Coming in. officially acephalous, they
shift for themselves. -Reedsburg Press.
A bill is now before the committee on
state affairs of the assembly providing
for the appointment of a resident of
Wisconsin versed in the agricultural,
mineral. manufacturing and other nat
ural resources of the state, to purchase
or otherwise secure Wisconsin exhibit
for the Worlds Exposition, to be held
in Paris during the present year. The
bill further provides for the transporta-
ton of such exhibit to Paris, and appro-
PIRATES $1,000 for the purchase, ship
ment and arrangement of the articles
comprising it.-Evening Wisconsin.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
i BADGER STATE TALK.

1t is claimed that the evangelist, DR..
Munhall, who has for some time past
been holding meetings in La Crosse,
has ,converted between 100 and 200 sim
nerS.-JacksoE Journal.
II our Legislators think the farmers
are in favor Of the game laws, they are
very much mistaken. We do not think
they have an honest supporter among
the agriculturists.-M Madison Democrat.
1t is considered bad policy for a
teacher to pull child's ears. How
ever, it sometimes becomes necessary
to break the rules as in the case of little
Billy Chandler He is too small to fog,
and so Teacher Blackburn tweaked his
listeners.-Ashland News.
Another thing is that a White Cap
has no more terroIs for newspaper
man than piece of white paper. The
fact of the matter is that Oshkosh
journalists seldom get licked. and never
get scared. These White Caps may
write in red ink, but it is confidently
predicted that anything like real blood
would make them sick.-Oshkosh
Times.
The presidential procession moves on.
Popular interest naturally is in the new
conner. 81 pray you." said Sir Thomas
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
AUDITORS AND TREASURERS.


There is bill before the legislature
providing for an extension of the term
of county officers to four years instead
of two, and further providing that one
half be chosen at alternate biennial
elections. Under the provisions of this
bill the treasurer, superintendent of
schools, coroner, and surveyor would be
elected at the next general election.
The auditor, register of deeds, sheriff,
and county attorney would be elected at
the following general election.
The object of the bill is always to
have in Office corps of experienced
county officials, and particularly to pre-
vent the retirement from Office at the
same time of the county auditor and
county treasurer. The wisdom of the
purposes of this bill is so apparent as to
scarcely need argument in its support.
The attention of the legislature was first
directed to the Importance of making
this change by the second biennial re-
port of the late public examiner.
HENRY NJ. KNOX, who endeavored to
impress upon the legislature of 1887
the fact that the services of in
experienced auditors and treasurers
coming into Office at the same time
must be hating and unintelligent, and
detrimental to the public interests.
Mr.. KNOX was one of the most capable
examiners any state ever had, and he
gave thorough investigation of all
affairs pertaining to his office. Conse-
quently, his recommendations respect
ing changes that would be beneficial to
the administration of the public
finances were always entitled to re-
spectful consideration. The country
auditors recognized the wisdom of Mr..
KNoX'S recommendation, and at their
late convention in this city approved
the proposed change and drafted the
bill which is now before the legislature.
The GLOBE is unheSitatatingly of
the opinion that the bill ought to pass.
Under our system of popular elections,
and in obedience to the American idea
of rotation in Office, the rule is, in al
most every county, to put a set of green
hands at the bellows every two years.
The result is the chaotic and democrat
lied condition of county finances that
the public examiner usually finds when
making his annual investigations. The
incumbents of these two offices will APP
preciate the benefits Of the proposed
change, for when new auditor comes
into Office, it is good streak of luck for
him to find an experienced treasurer at
his side, and vice versa.
The GLOBE is so impressed with the
beneficial effects of the proposed change,
we would favor its extension to the
state offices. Why not lengthen the
terms of state auditor and treasurer to
four years, and have them elected at
alternate biennial elections, just as is
proposed with relation to the election
of county officers? We believe that the
administration of our state finances
would be benefited by it. At all
events, let the plan be tried in the
county Offices, and. if found to work
as successfully as we anticipate, then
let it be extended to the state offices.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
A SMALL ROAST.

The Union league banquets without
wine' are said to be very popular with
the country members of the Legislature
that have prohibition constituents
Sherburne Star News.
Some one who is not oyerstocked with
brains and common sense has proposed
the establishment in New York of four
free state schools in which to teach but
ter making. This wiseacre is a member
of the observation-disclosures Pioneer.
If one may judge from the express
sions of the press the present legislature
is getting itself cordially disliked. The
extravaganza and dalliance of this body
of alleged business men was never eX-
ceeded by the most granger" Iegis-
lature ever assembled at st. Paul. Let's
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
THE CANADA THISTLE.

The Canada thistle bill now before
the Legislature is striking illustration
of the faith some people have in the
efficacy of legislation to root out all
evil. The object of the bill is to pre-
vent the growing of Canada thistle and
wild mustard on Minnesota soil, and it
proposes to accomplish this end by set
ting all the farmers in the state to work
in digging up. the noXiouS weeds. 1t
cannot be denied that the Canada this
tie is great nuisance in the agricult-
ural sections, and nobody has ever been
able to discover for wha. wise purpose
wild mustard is grown. But they are
both here, and are likely to remain
until the end of time, in spite of
the efforts of the Minnesota legis-
lature to represS their growth. If it
were practicable. the object of the bill
now before the legislature is commend
able enough; but if its provisions are
enforced, there will be no wheat crop in
Minnesota for good many years. The
farmers will be kept too busy fighting
the Canada thistle and the wild mustard
to have any time for crop raising. We
take it for granted that our Minnesota
farmers are intelligent enough to know
the obnoxious qualities of the thistle
and the mustard plant, and the aid of
legislation is not necessary TO prompt
them in an effort to keep the weeds in
subsection. AS rule, the individual
farmer knows his own business better
than the legislature does. and he Ger
tainly has more direct interest 10 the
proper tillage of his farm than an ag-
gregation of all the lawmakers in the
world. There are some things the legis-
lature ought to let alone, and one of
them is to leave to each individual the
management of his private affairs.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
DUDLEY THE DODGER.

1t is intimated that DUDLEY, who has
taken refuge at Washington from his
home courts, and avoids New York for
similar reasons, is regarded by the new
administration as victim of Demo-
cratic and mugwump SANDER and hate,
and will be put in a fat Office there.
1t would look better for him first to face
the criminal charges of fraud and sys-
tematic debauchery of the elective fran
chise, by which the result in Indiana
was changed. 1t will be expensive
gratitude to harbor and reward fugi-
tive from justice.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
A GOOD SIGN.

At an auction sale of real estate in
New York last week about $4,000 in
value changed hands. and it is stated
that every piece brought rising prices.
There is disposition with capitalists at
present to invest i'll city property. New
York is not an exceptional case. In
all the larger cities, except perhaps in
California, property is held at stiffen-
ing figures. This is the case in the
Twin Cities as much as elsewhere.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02
HANG THEM.

Isn't it about time the gallows was
entitled to a female victim? There is
scarcely day but what our news col
tempered woman taking the law into
her own hands by killing some fellow
against whom she has a grudge. Usually
it is an abandoned woman who does the
killing, and generally the victim of her
ire is Just as bad as she is. Still, that
doesn't change the aspect of the crime.
1t is murder, cold-blooded murder, done
premeditatedly and with malice afore-
thought in most cases. And yet the
murderess, as rule. escapes the infiic-
ton of the death penalty through the
sickly sentimentality of the court and
jurors. Simply because she is a woman,
the rigors of the law are suspended, and
the most she gets in the way of punish
ment is few years in state prison, with
all the chances that she goes scot free
on the trumped-up plea of emotional in
sanity.
We repeat, it is about time that this
sentimental tomtoolery were done away.
and the gallows be permitted to have
some of its legitimate victims. The
woman who premeditateS murder and
then carries her plan into execution,
deserves hanging just as much as the
man who murders in cold blood. The
law doesn't distinguish between the
sexes; neither should the juries.
There are cases. where the Seducer
falls by the hand of his victim, that the
homicide is justifable. But great ma
iority of the women murderers are aban-
doned creatures, who have neither re-
spect for law nor regard for human life :;
and 1t is time that an example should be
made of some of them. 1t is no pallia-
ton of their offense that they kill repro
bate men.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02

as tated, and took Hiawatha, as they
did not have his favorlte brand. The
preacher denied the charge, and was
exculpated. The pride that would grow
in the female heart over such trans
action was crushed, and the preacher
taught to lay in his Sunday rations on
Saturday
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02

SCARLET fever and diphtheria have
given New York death rate of late
hardly exceeded in the heated period of
summer. The density of the popula-
ton there makes it difficult to enforce
proper sanitary regulations. The aver
age number of persons to dwelling
there is eighteen, while in Philadelphia
it is but six. In the former the deni-
zens per acre are fifty-two, while the
Quaker city finds thirteen sufficient.
The mortality rate of the two cities diff
fers materially, of course.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02

THERE will probably be several
times the normal population of Wash
ington in that city at the Inauguration.
1t is not quite as numerous locality as
st. Paul, but the streets are broad, and
will be open to weary tourists at night.
A party from Milwaukee, several days
ago, found things so uncomfortable that
they went to New York, to remain until
after the Inauguration, when they will
take in the capital. Only very fierce
patriots will really enjoy the big circus.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02

THE more recent reports from Aus
tralia and India indicate that their sur
plus of wheat for shipment to Western
Europe will be materially less than in
1888. 1t may fairly be presumed that
this country will have a full average
harvest, as there are no compromising
conditions. There is nothing to disturb
the apparent assurance of satisfactory
prices. These and fair crops will give
the West rays of cheerfulness that will
make it a good wear to live there,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-02

If GEN. HARRISON does finally,
with the approval of Mr.. BLAINE, de-
eide to leave in the inaugural the pas
sage favoring a single term. it may be
remembered that wise men sometimes
change their views, and one may be-
come attached to particular house in
four years. There are not wanting
instances.