davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14
FuLL or Fun.

Ira Do you say 'chrysanihe-
NUNS or .chrysanthemaf'" Alexan-
NUNS the word. .
~ wish it would stop raining, re-
marked ST. Petersburg gentleman the
other day, after a weeks storm. aud
detective promptly arrested him for re-
ferring to the Car as lit "-Hsrper's
Bazaar.
Prof Deadpill-- In a case of ag-
gravated progressive paralysis. Mr..
Sawyer, what course Of treatment
would you adopt?" Mr.. Sawyer
(promptly)-'.I would make the pa
tient taper off, professor. Lowell
Citizen.
On the witness-stand. = Western
Magistrate--"The offshur accuses you
of (hic) shootin' at random" Prisoner
Yes, sir" well. we'll 'xcuse you
from the witness-box( hic)a moment"
(Arousing himselD. CLERK, call Ran
dom. Epoch.
Yes, SIR said Mrs, De Porque,
just after her return from a trip
abroad, France is a great country.
The people in Paris are amazingly
CLEVER I'm what way?n "Why. they
all speak French fluently, and several
of them assured me that they had never
taken a single lesson. Merchant
Traveller,
Uncle Berkshire" How much be
that watch?" Forty dol
lars Uncle Berkshire-"E that
smaller onegn Fifty dol
lars Uncle Berkshire-"En the
smallest one?n Jeweler-'.S Seventy
five dollars Uncle Berkshire
Gosh, mister! How much is no
watch? "-'Jeweler's Weekly.
-"And how are We failin' ter day.
Mr.. O'RafTerty?n II niver felt so
poorly in all me life. I'm too poor to
buy the necessaries of life. If had
millions it's livery clint av it that I'd
give to be rich man. ''I'm wild We,
Mr.. O'Raiferty. If / owned the whole
wurld I'd be willin' ter give II away for
little piece OF land an cabin that l
could call me own. Texas Siftings.
-MinlSs-s.Great Scott! Old man,
why don't you have it pulled? I
wouldn't go round with face on me
like that Jenks-"Oh bother! l
haven't got the tooth-ache." Minks--
well, you've got the awfullest ex-
preston | ever saw on live man.
What's the matter?" Jenks-"N Moth
ing. OH nothing. / got married this
morning and I'm trying to look uncon.
cerned.n
II can only be a sister to you,
George-nothing MORE "Tm afraid
that won't do, Miss Clara ! have five
grown sisters already, and, 10 tell you
the truth, they are not very favorably
disposed toward you; they think a
match with you would be the mistake
Of my life I'm that case, George"
said the girl, drawing herself up with
naughty grace, .'you may name the
day Y. Sun.
--Customer-"T was splendid in
sect-powder you sold me the other day,
Mr.. Gilman" Mr.. Gilman with justi-
fable pride)-"Ycs, think its pretty
good-the best in the trade" Gus
tomer-'I'll take another couple OF
pounds OF it, please" Mr.. Gilman
Two pounds?" Customer-"Yes,
please. gave the quarter Of pound
| bought before to black beetle, and
it made him so i'll that think II keep
up the treatment for about a week |
may manage to kill him. Fun.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14
DEAFNESS cAN,r sE ouREp

by local application, as they can not
reach the diseased portion of the ear.
There is only one way to cure deafness,
and that is by constitutional remedies.
Deafness is caused by an inflamed con-
dition of the mucus lining of the Eus-
tachian Tube. When this tube gets
inflamed you nave rumbling sound or
imperfect hearing, and when it is en-
tirely closed Deafness is the result, and
unless the inflammation can be taken out
and this tube restored 10 its normal con,
dition, hearing will be destroyed forever;
nine cases out of ten are caused by
catarrh, which is nothing but an in
famed condition of the mucus surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars
for any case of Deafness (caused by
Catarrh) that we can not cure by tax
ing Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars, free.
f. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
n@-Sold by Druggists, 75c. SOL
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14
NEVER GIVE UP.

If you suffer with asthma. bronchitis,
or any other disease of the throat or
lungs, nothing can surprise you more
than the rapid improvement that will
follow the use of SANTA ABLE. II you
are troubled with catarrh, ard have
tried other medicines, you will be unable
to express your amazement at the mar.
velous and instantaneous curative
powers ofa CALIFORNIA CAT-R-
CURE. These remedies are not secret
compounds, but natural productions OF
California. Sold at $l00 a package;
three for g 80, ard guaranteed by
Stone Bros & Hassell.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14
CLEAR LAKE Park.
1889.

Three great meetings will be held
this year under the auspices of the Iowa
State Camp Meeting Association as fol.
lows:
Touag Peoples Mass Conueaiion Of The
Northeast, JUiV IO-I2.
Interstate Camp Meeting, Jisly 1924
Missionary Mass ConrentioB Of The
Northeast, IeIy 242S.
Leading workers, specialists in the
various departments named will be on
hand to conduct the most successful
series of meetings ever held on the
grounds at Clear Lake Park.
For full information write 10 Rev. s.
p. MARSH, Cor Sec, Webster City, la.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14

IF the floor, closets and drawers Of
house are kept sedulously clean, and
pyrethrum powder or little powdered
sulphur is used at the edges of the
carpets, and above all, all the wooden
garments. hats and other articles not
in use are packed away in newspaper
and camphor till needed, and no rub
bish is allowed to collect about the
premises, moths of all kinds cease TO
be q terror. IN. Y. Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14
CEJAc:ogRs. $! OH
.IHE cREA- A
n6MEDYf0RPAIN
For.Hruises and Burns.

Fresh, strong, Convincing Facts.
Best Results. East frovidsnes, \. l., June 'sa
while In the employ Of the Barstow Stove Co.
applied youz So. Jacobs Oh % many bad burns u
ths mouidcrs. and always With best resalt
GEO. ". HORTON.
Ladder Fell. Galveston rsxAs, June -, tsss.
Fell from ladder. bruised and sprnincd ny fees
and wrist; suffered ave- days. was e1rso y "
Jacobs oil JOSHUA Witch.
Knee-Cap Hurt. Hall, Ind, Aus. 10. 1855.
Knss-eAp was hurt and suffered months,
bottles 81 b. Jacobs OIL psrmsnsntly fsstorsa ne
Dfslocation. Jeles, III, Nay - .sss,
DisiooAtsd shouidsr years age; eonaneo
weeks house: the pain was cured ~ - sasoN
OIL and havs had ne return Of H. j. D. hsoHh-
uoru..tssrk oxark o. jane -. iess.
sua.rrd weeks from the kiek Of horse. n>aN
uss eans tse bottles St. Jacobs OIL s1rs 1 %,
AT DRUGGfsTs AND DEALERS
rHk CHARLES A. yoeELEa CO.. BsltInors. Nd.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14

Washington Critic: Colonel Tren
holm, Comptroller of the Currency, has
seven-year-old boy who is 'sterror. !"
He says a great many cute things. and
one of them we give herewith. 1t was
just after the November election, and
when the kid was told the result he re-
marked to his father: II say, pop,
you'd better flop
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14

Reaches of all kinds may be effect
ually destroyed by the application OF
pyrethrum powder or California bu-
bach. This may be obtained from any
druggist. IL should be sprinkled
where the reaches run, and though il
may not kill them at once. it will,
sooner or later, destroy any Of the in
sects which have been touched by it.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14

ST Paul Globe: A lawyer of Temple
Court was looking over some papers
his German client had brought and
every signature had mensee in it as
il stood:
"A Sehwindler. =
MIR. Schwindler, why don't you
write your name some other way; write
out your first name, or something? /
don't want people 10 think you are a
swindler.n
We'll, ms Got. sir. how much better
you ,tiak dot looks9" and he Wrote
Adam Schwindlern
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14
81. NICHOLAS.

The frontispiece for February is q
charming drawing BY Mary Hallock
Foote, having a quaint little remarque
upon its margin; Joaquin Miller begins
tho text of the number with a poem
telling how "The Gold that Grew by
Shasta Town. was discovered by little
grl Arlo Bates reeounts in verse tho
gioc Of Jack Frost over ''The Snow
Flowers Then comes Noah Brooks's
very timely account of "The White
pasha. telling in plain and interest
ing way the thrilling narrative of STAN
Icy past achievements and probably
Whereabouts. The paper is illustrated
~ q striking portrait of the great ex.
purer, and will give many of the older
readers OF the magazine their first clear
idea OF the state Of affairs in Central
Africa,
Mrs Catherwoods strong serial is
continued and introduces in "Petit-
Pere' 4 character new in fiction and
really charming.
The other verse of the number in
cludes Emile Poulsson's ballad of
runaway donkey" with Alfred Brenons
artistic designs most amusing feature;
Helen Gray Cones moving story of the
Discontinued Snowflake" and 'Some-
body's Valentine. by Jesse McDermott
The Invitation and "Sally's Valen-
line" by Lizbcth Comins, and other
short pieces, funny pictures, and the
usual pleasing variety of interesting
material offered by the Departments.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14

When q man is frightened or angry
his digestive organs do not work; this
is also true of an animal; hence the
profit in keeping it in peaceful and
fearless state by kind treatment.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14
Irs nELlcacx OF r1Auoa

IT'S UELIINCY OF FLAVOR
And the efficacy OF its action have rem
dered the famous California liquid fruit
remedy. Syrup of Figs, immensely pop
ular. II Cleanses and Tones up the
clogged and feverish system, and dis
pels Headaches. Colds and Fevers. For
sale in so cts. and S1.00 bottles by A.
II. Barber. druggist, Lancaster. SOL
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14

Burlington Free Press: Popinjay-
Do YOU know. Blobson, that whenever
am led to express an opinion in public
feel like kicking my self afterwards?
Blobson-Ah, there Isympathize with
you, old man!
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14

Do you have dyspeptic troubles?
Take Hoods Sarsaparilla, which has re-
lieved thousands and will cure you.
Sold by druggists.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14
EXCURSION RATES c. Nj. & S. ?. ~.

State Encampmeni, Grand Army Of
the Republic, to be held at Milwaukee,
February 20 and 2lst., good 10 return
February 22nd. One fare for The round
trip. L. B. Smith, Agent,
Piatteville.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14

"A Scotch geologist claims to have
discovered in Scotland evidences to
prove that the earth lay for 10000
years in liquid state.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14

The Uso of Oil TO Sill the Waves
is the title of an article in the next num-
Der of The Century, by Lieutenant
Beehlcr, U. S. N. 1t appears on the
eyo of the assembling of the Inter-
national Marine Conference, when this
and other plans TO protect life at sea
viii be discussed The article is intend
Ell 10 show the necessity of inter-
national regulation requiring all vessels
% carry oil, and the necessary ap.
paratus for its use at sea. Another
practical article in the same number
will be on something Electricity is
Doing by Charles Barnard.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14

The makers Of tie Ivory Soap have been engaged the
ufacture of Soaps for fifty years and the Ivory happy
result Of their long experience and unqusonab soap
used by all who value the advice Quoted below of Ellen H. Richards
Instructor in Chemistry Womans Laboratory Massachusetts In
tue OF Technology, who says, In the purchase of soap
safest to choose the make of well long established
firm who have reputation lose their product good
WORD OF WARNING.
There white represented Just good Ivory
they ARE NOT but like all us lack the peculiar and remarkable qualities
the genuine Ask for Ivory" Soap and insist upon getting it.
ls by Pocer& Gamble
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14

PLANT PRoTECToRs.-M plant
protectors have been patented, but the
newest, simplest and best, is the inven-
ton of Joseph Harris, Moreton Farm,
Rochester, y. y. 1t is not patented
and any one can make them. 1t con
-sts Of two half-inch boards for end
pieces. To the sides and top of these
boards cotton cloth is tackled on, aud
the boards III kept apart by u piece of
iath. When stretched out for use they
make cloth covered box 10 inches
square and 10 inches high, and are ex-
ctcdingly useful in the garden for pro-
ttcling tender plants from frost, such
rs tomatoes, melons, bedding plants,
etc They arc also of great value for
Keeping the squash bugs, striped bugs
and other insects from squashes, Gu
cuinbers, cite. When not in use, by re.
moving the stretcher they can be folded
up Hat, and can DO stored away in q
small space. There is an illustration
Of the protector in Harris New Seed
Catalogue for 1889. 1t will be sent free
10 amy of our readers.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-02-14
Farms for Sale!

have for sale three fracts Of land, viz: 20
aeres. u improved: 20 acres 81 timber and an
improved farm OF ie0 acres. known a. the Nenn-
berger farm 4ll 10 the town OF Ellenbors. For
terms enquire Of ROBiT BELL.
ISL Elfenboro, Wis.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-02-26
ART NOTES.

The monument to Mcclellan in the ceme- tery at Trenton, N. J., will be a column 4G feet high with an eagle on it.
 There is great call in London for mezzo- tints after Constablo's landscapes, and biog- raphies of this great and once neglected Eng fish painter are eagerly snapped up.
 Gladstone and Hartingt ton, formerly friends, and now, by stress of politics, very like enc mics, are to grace the walls of the Reform club in London. Both will be painted by A. s. Cope.
 The Duke of Westminster has presented tc the handsome art museum at Melbourne "Dunstanborough Castle," by Turner, ex- hibited at the Royal academy in 179S, anC sold five years ago for $4, 725.
 The Tudor kings and princesses of England are to be bonoreti next season at the New Gallery, London. Portraits by Uolbein and other artists, together with personal anG other historical relics connected with Tudors will be shown.
 Domingo the Spanish painter, long resident in Paris, for whose work immense prices have ruled these many years, has had tho honor of painting the baby king of Spain and his mother, the queen regent, receiving for the former S25, 900.
 The British committee for the Universal exposition at Paris has voted S200, 900 for | expenses, kept Sir Poi5dore De Keyser as acting president and made the present lord mayor of London honorary president. Dele l gate commissioner is' Nb'. Trueman Wood The immense canvas with eighty figures by Thomas Hill, of San Francisco, called ''The Last Spike" commemorating the finish oi ] the railway across the United States, has | been set up once more in the artists studio | AccOrGlner fn ('bypYipla ha r. l spend many years perfecting this work.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-02-26
OUR NATIONAL FORESTS.

The question of preserving our forests md the policy of the government in ,eference thereto is worthy of thought ,ul attention, and the observations of nen who have given much study to the natter are always sure to receive con- alteration. Professor Sargent, who is regarded as the leading American recently expressed his views in such a manner as to create much interest in what he said.
 The forests on the national domain it is we'll known are now unprotected, and consequently subject to an enormous annual loss from fires, fraudulent entries and despoliation by timber thieves. Three important measures suggest them selves to Professor Sargent for their preservation and management. First, the withdrawal from sale of all forest lands until a thorough examination has shown what forests must be retained and what can be put upon the market with out injury to the important interests in volved, such as the water supply of the great agricultural tracts of the far west. Second, the placing of the national forests under the care and guardianship of the army is urged, as a step that would most thoroughly protect the forests from the destructive agencies now so active. Third, the appointment of a commission by the president to make a most thorough examination of the ques- tion and submit comprehensive plan, including the establishment of national forest service, under which the forests can be so managed that they can forever yield an abundant timber supply and men for the service to be supplied from thoroughly equipped national school of forestry. In favor of the radical sug- gestion that the forests be transferred to the care of the army it is urged that the army is on the spot at dozens of posts in the forest regions, that the Indian are likely to occupy its attention but little hereafter, and that the new function could be assumed at little additional cost, while any other plan would involve a large expense.
 There is no doubt that the care of oul national forests is an intensely practica question, for the national wealth repre- sented in these forests amounts to many millions of dollars that is now recklessly expo sed to waste and destruction. Pro lessor Sargents observations are timely and it is to be hoped for the interest of { national property of so much value anc so much importance in its relations tt climatic conditions that his recommen dasions may receive attention from | those who may have power to give effect to them. The forest domain should not be allowed to be swept out of exist
 ence, which is now fast being done.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-02-26
THE WATERBURY EVENING TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 1se
THEY ALL DIED AT 56.

Hugh Capet, king of France, born szo;
 Henry VIII, king of England, born 1491; died 1547.
 Henry W, emperor of Germany, born 105O; died HOG.
 Frederick I, first king of Prussia, born 1857; died 17l3.
 Nicols Paganini, Italian voilinist, born 17S4; tliad 1S40.
 Alexander Pope, English poet, born 1888; a:ed 1744.
 George Sale, English orientalist, born 1880; lied l136. Degl Alighieri Dante, Italian poet, born 1265; died 1921. John Hancock, American statesman, born 1737; died 1793. Maria Louisa, empress of France, born l79l; died 1S47.
 Philip Massinger, English dramatist, born l5S4 died 1640. Saladin, sultan of Egypt and Syria, born l127; died 1193 Robert Stephenson, English engineer, born 1903; died 1859. Helvetius, French philosopher and author, born 1715; died 1771. Henry II, first of the Plantagenet line, born ll33; died 11S9.
 Rev. Charles Kingsley, English author, born 1S19; died 1875. Juan Prim, Spanish general and statesman, born 1874; died 1870.
 Caius Julius Caesar, I&Jnlan general, born 100 B. C.; died A B. c.
 The Elder Pliny, Rornan naturalist and author, born 23; died 79
 Claudius II, Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome, born 2l4; died gro. Henry Knox, American revolutionary gen. eral, born 1750; died 1906. Thomas Mifflin, American patriot and gen. eral, born l74i; died 1900. Von Maarten Harpe1tzoon Troup, Dutch admiral, born 1897; died l653 Abraham Lincoln president of the United States, born 1S00; died 1865 | Barry Edward O'Meara, Irish surgeon in | St. Helena, born 17SO died 1886. Frederick Marryat, English naval officer and novelist, born 17g2; died lS4S. Scipio -Emilianus Africanus Minor, Roman general, born 1855 B. C.; died l29 B. c. | Robert Dudley, earl of Leicester, favorite | of Queen Elizabeth, born 1532; died 1888. ! George Whitefield, English founder of Cal vanistic Methodisln, born TIA; died ITO. Johann Gaspar Spurzheim, German physi- elan and phrenologist, born 1776; died 1882. | Frederick H. emperor of Germany and king of Naples and Sicily, born 1194; died 125O
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-02-26
oM1SotJs TO HARRISON.


 The faction fight among New York re- publicans shows no signs of abating as inauguration day draws near, and poor Harrison Is almost distracted in his effort to steer safely between the Scylla and Charybdis of the angry forces. Warner Miller refuses to be consoled
 with anything less than cabinet posi- tion, while Tom Platt will not consent to be put off with any other recognition. General Harrisons dilemma will be regarded as ominous by good many people.
 It was factional fight of this sort in New York which led to all the miseries that befell the Garfield administration though the bone of contention then was not a cabinet chair, but the collector ship of New York. General Harrison would be showing good sense if he would refuse to listen to the greedy spells hunters until they patch up their factional fights, but it is very doubtful if the Miller and Platt men can be induced to | abandon their opposition to each other, and any recognition of either faction by the incoming administration would be sure to earn it the hostility of the other. The president-elect, who knows the story of the Garfield Blaine Conkling feud thoroughly, would no doubt like to avoid any quarrel with either wing of the New York republicans, but it does not seempos- sible that he will be able to do it unless y ignoring New York altogether. If he ,hould do this he is likely toraise storm of criticism and fault-finding that will oe anything but comfortable for him. The republican press of the empire state is insisting very strongly on the rights of the state to recognition, and General Harrison will not be spared if he passes he state by in the makeup of his cab inet.
 It is indeed ominous that the admins l vration of General Harrison should be .hus early menaced by the dissensions which made Garfeld's short term such a complete failure. Whatever may be the l outcome of his experiences with the republicans of NewrY York, there is likely Q be considerable fun ahead for the democrats
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-02-26

THE old saying that a little policy is a good thing does not extend to policy gambling. There is nothing good nor useful about this biggest of all skin gam bling, and our city fathers should hasten to cooperate with the police in making Waterbury too hot for policy Kings who are robbing their poor tools of their hard-earned money. Policy and policy Kings must Waterbury has no use for the vile things.