Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-05-31
ANT1DOTES FOR TIE B11,rs

The only way to have friend
one, said Emerson. 90 (s
The old apple-woman saws t,..
business is at standstill Aes
A COMMERCIAL traveller, like \,
son, is known by his grip, and ra; NO
one gives it away. 'Ds'
The moral cement of society 49,,
1t unites and preserves, while vioa sps
arates and destroys. up
He (tenderly)-May I see YOU mat.
soon? She (reproachfully)-Dop'tsss w
think 1 am pretty now? wy
CHALMERS = Love you? WHY =,
jump off the bridge for You. NJ
Romantique-oh, how lovely that won,'
be.
Il WASN'T exactly mad about it. CO..,
Slithersby, discussing his election f SOY
theater, "but I was somewb,. W.
out" ~
FoGG says that some of the girls
the theatrical stage remind him Of ::
liver, because they don't act worth
cent.
The road ambition travels is too 10,
row for friendship, too crooked for Io.s
too rugged for honesty, too dark f.
science.
HousEKEEPER-I regret to saw s.,
that your son and the cook have elonaa
Rich Old Party-Thunderation! Tbs1
we sha2't have any dinner.
BREEZY (tenderly) Miss Porc;ns
will you-will you meet ne in M
cleaning? Miss Porcine eagerly,
Well, should smile! Where is it and
how do you get in?
cit kinder strikes me, Minnie" sal,
the old gentleman as he peered over hi
glasses, that if you'd had that Dire,
cut much lower you would have to d
into the cellar to put it on.
MAHLsT1cK - Do you know, Mid
Mannerby. that some of my friends tel
me that am deteriorating in my paint
ing? Miss Mannerby-Oh, Mr.. Mall
stick. That is quite impossible.
Miss GusH1NGToN-I admit, Arthu,
that this is not the first time hay
been engaged, but I'm sure your noble
generous heart Little Brother
Sis, the baby's got your bag of engage
ment-rings.
DID you know that Smith wore
glass eye?' "No." well, he does
just as good as real one." "Hov
that:" Its made so perfect that b
cannot even see through the deception.
Chicago Ledger.
"You say you were discharged frog
your former place for being too indaI
trious?" "Yes, ma'am." "That's Va
strange. What did you do?" Il WEI
down to the cellar one day and dusts]
the old wine bottles"
Mr.. JONATHAN TRUMP-What's thd
matter with young Darlington9 Hell
going to the Conservatory with Doll
Flicker as pale as ghost. Miss Pens|
lope Peachblow-Going into decline
take it, from what I know of Dolly.
New YoRXER--I congratulate you o.
the latest acquisition to your family
Boy or girl? Nebraskan-Girl. Ne
Yorker-What's her name to be? Ne
braskan - Well, she bowls so mud
nights we thought we'd call her Cy}
clonia.
"sAY, Cholley," asked one newsbg
of another, whats payin' teller?
"He's de man what pays out de money.
"An' what's receivin' teller?" He
de man what takes in de money! An
what's de cashier?" Hes de fee7
what gifts away wild de money"
ALADY who her lover had sold,
Asked if reason could be told
Why wedding rings were made Of gold.
Iventured thus to instruct her:
Love, madam, and lightning are the same
On earth they glance-from Heaven they came
Love is the souls electric flame,
And gold the best conductor"
THESE lovers of the Union are lit
! tie like the chap who was told that the
best cure for palpitation of the hear
was to leave off hugging and kissing tDs
girls. "If that is the only remed!
which can be proposed he cried, y
for one, say, let 'er palpitate."
GREAT LAWYER cannot manages
case unless know all the facts. You
must tell me truly whether you ore
guilty or not. Accused Party (scorr
fully)-D'ye s'pose I'd be consarne'
fool enough ter want ter hire hlsf
priced lawyer like you if was nne
cent.
Mrs. BLooDGooD-Yo had somer
markably pretty walters at your receI
ton. They must have cost you SoS,
round sum. Mrs. Paryenu-O, no.
let it be understood that the most young
and attractive women in town were