The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-01-31
PuNeENI PARAeKAPns.


-Chaussier dried a man in kiln
and there resulted only twelve pounds
of solid matter.
An experiment recently made in
Scotland proves that the tortoise can
walk mile in four hours.
Telephones are great convenience,
and yet people are all the time talking
against them Yonkers Statesman.
-'I wish could sell all / write. :"
remarked a certain author to lady.
There are those, replied his com.
panion, sweetly, ''who say you can't
write all you sell. life.
Mrs. Barkley, are you familiar
with Songs without Words?' y 20, yes,
quite. Mr.. Barkley frequently sings
them when he comes home in the
morning. .''-Terre Haatte E1press.
-''Man's brains do not win woman,
Mr.. Erudite, :" remarked Miss Flippant,
seornfully. 81 see they do not" re-
piled Mr. Erudite; "and did you ever
notice that few women win man 5
brains?' Harper's BazGr.
"A Brooklyn man intends to start a
goat farm, which he thinks will bring
him $10.80 per day. He will stock it
with seventy-five goats. and as the or
binary goat will give three pints of
milk day, he calculates upon ninety
quarts per day at twelve to fifteen cents
aquart.
One of the leading American col
leges has resolved to dispense with a
''class yell'' next year. An institution
of learning that will thus aim deadly
blow at the higher education of our
youth doesn't deserve the patronage of
the American people. Football may
go next.-N0rriStoa0B Herald.
-t'You should have counted on the
expense of married life before you
entered upon it, {" said the young hus-
bands friend; cit was only question
of common sense and reason that you
should have exercised Common
sense and reasonP'' echoed the youth
full benedict; ''why, | was in lover'
Chicago Globe.
Railroad Superintendept-Any OF
the passenger cars need repairing?''
Head Examiner-''Yes sir; No. 306 is
in very bad shape; ought to go to the
shop at once" whats the matter??''
1.-TWO of the windows are so loose that
any ordinary man can raise them, sir. =
Time.
T,1o no cr,.o, 70 ooJl,d ~, a I~;,,5 1a5,
in the suburbs of New York. ITO
which of you two shall l give this
nickelP' she asked. First tramp
"Give it to him, madam. He has pur-
chased the route from me, and am
just taking him around to introduce
him to the customers. .'-TeraS SittinqS.
Not Used to Travelling. Stranger
Cat hotel bar)-'Best whisky, please. y
Bartender (severely) )-''This is a pro-
hibition town, sir. Stranger-''Ah,
excuse me-" (moving away.) Bar.
tender (excitedly) = Great Scott,
stranger, haven't you sense enough to
get sick?'-Drake's Magazine
-Editor Society Journal Ito repor-
ter)-'Mr. Jlnkss the directors have
ordered me to raise your salary. You
bring in more society scandal than ali
the other reporters put together
Jinks-''Thank you. The advance will
be handed over to my wife. It is hers
by right" Editor-"How SOP" Jinlzs
-"She is the secretary of the ladies'
anti-gossip club. ~ Cartoon.
"A gentleman who has recently
aiken up French, and who loses no op.
portunity of airing the little knowledge
he has thus far acquired of that Ian.
guage by translating and pronouncfng
such words and phrases as his friends
might encounter in his presence, was
thus addressed by an acquaintance
'If you only knew as much English as
you do French, what a success you
would bep'-Te1as Siftings.