Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-10-10
THE DOORS WE'RE STICKY.
How a Mild Young Man Ended a
Pleasant Call.

Z
Pleasant Call.
There is hbisa uptown in which
painters, plastsfers, and pa per-hangers
have been having it all their own way
for weeks past, says the New York
Times. They got through with their
work the other day and departed, leav-
ing the house SO bright and shiny and
the doors SO sticky that it was "a wonder
how people lived in it without forever
wearing their very best clothes. The
great swinging front doors, which are
only closed at night were the last
things TO receive the beautifying touch
of the painters brush, and when he
got through with them they were
radiant in their new coats, but inclined
to stick TO each other with tenacity
of purpose discouraging to the belated
member OF that household who tried to
part them with his night key, aided by
his vigorously-pounding knees, his
hands, and, later on, IL power of
Kaleidoscope invective hitherto unsus-
pected in him.
One night recently, before this close
! friendship between the front doors had
been generally remarked in the house,
mild and pleasing young man came to
call and mildly remained in the dim
parlor with the only girl in the world
until after the 1880 mark had been
passed. When he finally sought the
front door the only girl went there with
him. She knew nothing about the
clinging attachment existing between
the outer doors. Neither did he.
There was nothing in the wide world
! to them but themselves, and paint and
doors and sickness were things to
them unknown.
After awhile there was a sound some
thing like that heard on muddy
Jersey road when horses struggle along
it and a sudden cessation of the low
murmurings which had filled the hall.
! The only girl fled up the stairs and the
mild young man opened the inner front
door, passed out, and carefully closed
it behind him. Then he tried the outer
doors. The knob turned all right but
gentle pull did not make the door
bulge. A harder one and an impro-
vised tug-ofwar were equally futile.
! The young man hunted for a possible
bolt that might have been shot. He
| found one. but it was free and he tugged
! again. The doors never moved. They
! had been separated for a whole day
and, reunited, they chung to each other
with all the youthful enthusiasm so
! beautiful to contemplate in young per-
sons of tender natures and opposite
! sexes.
i was warm evening and there
wasn't much air in thtt little compart-
ment between the two sets of doors.
| The mild young man perspiPed and
tugged at the unyielding knob, shed his
coat and tugged again, vainly tried to
open the doors behind him, hunted
wildly for door-bcl. couldn't find it,
! perspired considerably more, loosened
! his collar and wondered in strange,
wierd way why he had ever been born.
1t got hotter and hotter in there and
more sticky and slightly sulphurous.
! The young man who had entered that
house rs mild and peaceable and as
law-abiding as any young man with no
knowledge OF sticky doors could be
gradually took upon himself-had it
thrust upon him-something of the ma
ture of professional lunatic, and the
manner in which he imperiled the safe
| ty OF his immortal soul would have
made the good Col. Shepard shell tears
of sc llding woe.
This sort OF thing couldn't last for
ever. After n period there came to
this mild young mans delighted ears
the sound that was like the sound
of trickling rivulet to the poor wretch
whose life is ebbing away for the lack
of just drop of water-the sound of
footsteps on the stoop outside. There
was rusty rasping of iron at the bell
handle, sullen bang of the bell down
some where in the bowels OF the earth.
and after a long, long time the sable
hand-maiden, reused from her virgin
slumbers and clad in a wrapper and a
spreading frown, climbed slowly up
the basement stairs and opened the in
ner doors.
She cast one Mortified glance at the
coatless. disheveled figure standing
there before her, and in second she
seemed transformed into pair of fleet
ing, ebony legs. The mild young man
ran after her, Gained her fears, be-
sought her to be quiet and help him
open the outer door.
lOBeJHcT JnCy pullcu anu SLlOOh lue
door, aided somewhat by the person on
the outside. and at last, with a smack
like that which had preceded the first
opening OF the outer doors, they were
separated from each other, and, with
his coat still on his arm. the ruffled
young man rushed past the messenger
boy who had rung the bell, rushed
down the steps, rushed madly up the
street, and drowned his sorrow in the
flowing bowl. Rosy wine claimed him
for it's own.
There are things 'twere better not to
dwell on, but when this young man
calls upon the only girl in the world
he will carry in his inside pocket a
crowbar and monl1eyewrench to help
him out OF possible ENHANCEMENT with
the outside doors.
Too Modest To BE Honest.