Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-06-21
PITiI AND POINT.

Many men Nee; with fall when wait
ing for ii ''riscn
a spark of loye-'rhe diamond in the
engagement ring.
No ship of war wants cannon ball
flying at her masthead. Pic0gUne.
1t is said that mcrmads tic up their hair
with marine band.-Detr0n free Press.
When little man is hopelessly in love
it greatly increases his Sighs.-Boston
Courier.
rather cynical toast ran thus: ''Woman
She requires no cuogy; She speaks for
herself"
The man who was lost in admiration Of
woman aftcrward found himself in love
with her.
The man who says: ~ was about to
remark" is the man who always gets left
Picdyuie
Queer about flowers, isn't it2 They
shoot before they have pistils. Bingham-
ton Republican.
III boy and Il half eat Il green apple and
half i'll Il minute and II half, how will they
feel i'll IN hour and q half?
Motto for child's toy bank-Drop YOUR
nickel i'll the slot, and get five cents worth
Of exercise trying to shake it out next
day.
At the marriage supper of. deaf and
dumb couple, one guest, in the speech Of
the evening. wished them .'unspeakablc
bliss
Al gathering Of lawyers were toasted
''rhe Bench aud the Bar'--If il were not
for the bar there would he little use for the
bench.
a clever newspaper man puts his news
items from Chicago and Boston under the
title of 'Pork and Beans. - Mmsey's
lltclay.
DIR. Alphonso-- 'Prcccdc me" (waving
his hand toward the supper table, Guest
IAN Observation-Disclosures follow you
-DetroH Free Press.
Piihy WAS the following toast, proposed
at Il shocmakcrs' dinner: 'Nlay we have
all the women III the country to shoe and
all the men 10 boot"
'!Dherc vas two kinds or iirtuc, y saws
Carl Prctzcl; "onc init some airs of
solcmnidy und der der oddcr nit two
hand suit of close on.
Transferable" MARY, should b, dc.
lighted had | as much hair as you"
"Wall, mum, ycz can horny il any tonne
ycz loikc. '-iiope..* Roscn
Mrs Smiil-'Arc you going to your
friend Mrs. Blanks funeral tomorrow"
Mrs. Nnbhs-'' Certainly not. She owed
me Il call. = Chiwgo HyoW.
A contemporary says: ''Dcfaulte, Pratt
stole right and left We knew that Pratt
stole and left, but how can man steal
right Commercial AdeertiSer.
Dude You have been looking straight
at me for the last five minutes What is
it!" Farmer-''T.nt's Just what / WAS
Wondering. "-lMH and E.rpyeSs
The rooster is a budding flower,
a highly coorcd thing,
About the garden. in the fields
The crow cuss of the spring.
-Conn'ercid( idrcriiScr
Il is said that when girl gets to be
thrty-ive she is fond of being called
Birdie, if that happens to be he: first
Ianc. AT sixteen she insists on being
called Miss Smith.--N. \. NerS
In the spring the young mans fancy lightly
turns 10 loving thoughts
Which, expressed too often bring him in tile
winter to the courts.
Commercial .ldrer,;Se.'
Young Lady Ito music dcalcrJ-.I
want Your Love-" Young Clerk
"lIem! Would like to accommodate yol,.
but the fact IS 1 promised it to another
girl at leap year party. = .ircofa ReeorG
Mrs. Brief (who has been reading an
article on sleep in a health paper)--
John, is il best to lie ON the right side
or the leftl'' John IN lawyer)-"If you
arc on the right side, it usually isn't neces
sary to lie ut all. '-Buzar.
Mr.. Griggs Zone OF the aristo.-. 70
Four Hundred, who has retired fro., the
provision trade and is ever SO cxciusive}
"a fine swarry, General, but little
mixed, don't you think?n General Tufts
(who is also cxcl;lsive)-"I Hang it ALL
sir, you can't expect them al to be gro
GERS "-Nc'o Yorh, Mcrcuy.
A Frcnchman, having heard the phrase
Give got other fish to fry" learned its
application and tried to commit it to
memory. One evening, after cscorting
lady home, and being invited to walk in,
he thought Of the above expression and
excused himself by saying: a thank
you, madame; must cook some iish''
First Stranger On the far Wcst)-"B,
you one of us2" Second Stranger with
lignity)-"I do not know what you
mean by zone of u.s. / am President of
The international Aggregated Trusts to
Force up the Price of the Necessaries of
Life.D First Stranger (genially) -"Your
hand, lpard; Pm train robbcr ''-Boaon
Chronicle.
He was on the point of proposing, but
thouuht hntter of If for the p,ornonf and
continued the conversation because of an
organ-grinder outside. When the music
stopped he said; $50 you've never been
in Europe, Miss Claras" ''Oh, no." she
replied, ~ never expect to see Europe
until my wedding trip" Then he con.
hnued to continue the conversation
Hoper's Monthly.
Statistics of the coal production of the
Southern States, just published, are an