St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-08-22

VI e. sqr gSs5 n,. wi5$
against the window pane. sizing things
up generally. The burglar had as
cended to the WIN low, which was on
the second floor OF Oscars residence. at
the corner of Victoria street and Good
rich avenue, by means of a ladder. Tie
window opened into the bed room
and the burglars person COM
ing between Oscar and the moon like
a heavy shadow, awakened the
latter. The burglar. upon seeing the
occupant of the room raise up in bed
like the ghost of a street railway fran
chise, became frightened and fell over
backwards, carrying the ladder with
him. That was the last that Oscar saw
of the burglar, and he fell asleep again
and dreamed of the White house.
A diminutive blind woman, carrying
a baby and led by a little barefooted
boy, marched into the mayors Office
yesterday. The woman said her name
was Matte McCabe, and that she
wanted a permit to read on the streets
from a book of raised filters. She told
a very pathetic story to Clerk White,
and pleaded to be given the privilege of
reading on the streets. Because"
said she, in a plaintive tone. 81 have no
other way to earn a living for my little
baby and the boy who cares for me-"
She said her husbands name was
Michael, and that he was a hopeless
cripple. But where is he noW?" asked
MI. White. He was Informed that he
was in Ashland peddling, but she eX-
pected to meet him here in a few days.
The little boy that led her about, she
said, was not her son, but a poor orphan
that she had picked up in Kansas. 1t is
needless to say that she was given a
permit, but wa admoniShed to be care
full and not obstruct the public thor
oughfares. A strange family that, in
deed. A crippled father, sightless
mother and orphan boy.
One of these long-haired "fakirs''
stood down on lower Seventh street yes
terday afternoon in front of a tent
adorned with huge signs, which read:
Genuine WaXworks. No Humbug."
He was telling the people that were
gathered about him that by paving their
nickels and dimes they could behold
the most wonderful and realistic collec-
ton of waXWorkS ever brought to this
country. In a short time quite a few
had gathered inside of the tent, but not
a wax figure was in sight; everything
was as bare as a naked wall. Every
body wondered where this wonderful
collection was. Finally another long
haired individual appeared Oh a little
stage in the rear end of the tent and
announced that the waXwOrks would
now be: displayed. He had a
large pan filled with beeswaX stan$ing
on a table beside him, and from this he
took a large chunk and began to work it
about until it became pliable. Then he
moulded it into a figure resembling an
elephant, which he held up, and, with
conscious pride, said, ''The sacred ele-
phant Of Burmah, gentlemen" The
next figure was that OF a man. which he
held up, and said president Harrison,
gentlemen" The crowd soon caught on
to the fact that they we're sold, despite
the fact that the capper outside was
continually singing out with a nasal
tWang:
Here's your genuine wax works
For which you pay your nickels and your
dimes.
So it happened that
When the people saw the Joke,
With anger they turned pale.
And straightway for the man they went,
To ride him on a rail.
But the man had disappeared with
his genuine waXworks' through a flap
in the back wall of the tent, and the
crowd aWent out, calling each other
names and sobbing violently.
A good story is told on Judge Schoon-
maker. A client of his was locked up
at police headquarters a short time ago,
and the Judge desired to effect his re-
lease. 1t was nearly 2 O'Clock in the
morning, and he had no money with
him, and bail was fixed at S25. So he
told the night jailer that if he would re-
lease the prisoner he would be re-
sponSible for his appearance in court.
But the iailer refused.
You know who l am, do you not?"
inquired the judge.
"Yis, sor; yeZ be Jidge Skoomaiker?"
was the prompt reply.
The judge then asked the jailer If he
would accept his check for the required
amount, but the jailOr again remarked
with an emphatic twitch of the mouth:
mo, sor: not if yez was the guverner
himsilf."
So the chagrined Judge had to hunt
around for nearly an hour before he
could get his check caShed, after which
he came back and had his man released
~
One of these men who are overbur-
NClCu Will q lulIu VI VIII WdS dIIdlSlGu
before Judge Burr yesterday morning
charged with being drunk. During the
entire night before he had made life
miserable for the other prisoners at the
lookup by getting off funny things, and
yesterday when arraigned in court he
began pe%rpetrating his wit on the clerk.
Judge Burr asked him his name and he
replied Jack the Ripper" The Judge
remarked that if such was the case he
had better send him to the workhouse
for ten days until the English authori-
ties could get here. So he took his wit
with him over the hills to the Work'us.
-
There is an Eastern clergyman, who
at present is visiting friends in the city,
who does not have a very exalted opin-
ion of the goodness of Western mems
hearts. He was going through one of
the large wholesale stores yesterday,
taking in the Western mode of doing
business. He stepped into the elevator
and was taken up to the Fourth floor.
Through some carelessness on the part
of the elevator man the elevator door
on the fourth floor was open, rendering
It exceedingly dangerous. A misstep
would mean a fall of nearly eighty
feet and a horrible death. AS
soon as the elevator reached
that floor the proprietor of the
establishment stepped up to the man
running it and SOundly rated him for
his almost criminal neglect in having
the door open. For a moment the air
was blue around there. "You will
have to be more careful after this or l
will discharge you," said he. ''Some-
body might have fallen down the sh aft.
and in the eyes of the law you would
have been responsible"
After he had finished the clergyman
introduced himself and remarked to the
proprietor that he was a good man, aud
showed that he was possessed of a large
amount of the milk of human kindness,
in thinking of what might occur to
some poor unfortunate who happened
to step off into the open shaft. The
proprietor is, at the best, of a very
choleric nature, and the recent occur
renee had not tempered him in the
least. His reply to the clergyman was:
Good hi! Milk of kindness moth
ing! 1t was the damages l was looking