The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-10
BRIGHT BITS.

Domestic NoTE.-'Children are such nui-
sances, They make more work for me than an
extra servant would fine
MoHATR is obtained from the Angora goat,
and consequently the mo- hair an Angora
mas, tae more valuable goat he Is. -EUenia9
Wisconsin.
A PERPETUAL MOTION machine has not yet
oeen invented, but the tongue of a seven-year
OLD boy asking questions comes pretty near it.
SoHlerUiite Journal
"A CHICAGO YOUNG MAN proposed in a cab and
was accepted. That was a hansom way of
doing the business None hut the brave get the
worm OF their fare Minneapolis Journal.
PATRoS-This set of teeth you made for me is
too big.
Dentist-Yes, SIR Sit down in the chair and
| VIII enlarge your mouth llttle.-Neto York
Tribune.
Mas. SIMERAL-Here's an item about the man
VINO first sug sested Mr.. Harrison for the Presi-
dencyt He certainly ought to have an office.
MIR. Simeral-It's impossible, my love. There
are not enough offlces.-Ttnie.
THE STATEMENT that Sibyl Sanderson, the
new American songstress, can take higher
note than any other living prima donna affords
very clear indication as to tue kind of notes
which win be needed to hear her.-Ptttsourg
Dispatch.
The USUAL DISAPPOINTMENT. Omaha Youth
I've called for my new spring suit.
Average Tailor-Sorry, but it is not finished
Ouidfid 1Oubn-Wuy, you Sdlu you WOULD
have it done if you worked all night.
Average Tailor-Yes, but | didn't work all
night.-Ontdha World
NORA PHYsIoGNoMIsT.- BARBER Wish any oil
on your hair. sir?
Customer (explosively)- Nobody that has any
bowling IDIOT?
Barber tdsferentially)-No sir; but I'm not
good Judge of faces. ! always ask the question,
anyhow.-Chicdoo Tribune
AS a SEoUENcE.-W ibble-What have you
been doing to-day, Wabble?
Wabb!e-Oh nothing in particular. Just
killing time.
Wibble-I never have any spare time to kill
have all my time laid out for each day.
WaoDle-l have my time laid out, too, after
get it killed.-Ierre Hdute Express.
Mrs. HIGHuP Ito foreign visltor)-O, no: it's
great mistake to suppose that social lines in
this country are bounded by wealth. The basis
or our highest society is simply education, re-
finement and moral excellence.
Miss Hlghup crushing mo, mamma! the
most awful blunder has been made Cards to
our reception have been sent to the De Culture
girls, whose father failed last week.
York Weekly
WIFE-John, Iwish you'd 90 into Coffee &
Coz when YOU re downtown and see why they
haven't sent up the groceries ordered by postal
card two days ago It's shameful to neglect my
order so. Just give them real hard scolding,
John-I shall go there and see Mr.. Coffee him
self about it. tan hour later)-Mr. Coffee here s
an order on this postal card that I've carried in
my pocket two days. l wish you'd get the
goods up to the house early this morning; will
you, please?-EDoch.
ASSISTANT Ito great magazine editor)-I see
this young Miss -i is making herself quite
famous through the medium of the news
papers
Great Magazine tor-Yes-um-haven
we got a story of hers sent in four or five years
ago?
Assistant-Yes, sir.
g. NJ. E.-Run it this month and give page
editorial to "A Newly Discovered Genius. y
st. Paul Pioneer Press.
PRoF. WIGGINs. having become disguised
with the weather, because it will not arrive on
schedule time to suit his predictions has turned
his attention to matters of which he knows less
about, If that were possible. He claims to have
discovered that the earth is recedng from the
san, and that our temperature must necessarily
grow colder. Virgins would have had many
more converts to his theory if he had made
this discovery in the fall. In few weeks the
weather will be so disgustingly hot that the
sun, instead of being farther away from u.s.
will seem close enough to hit with a brick
N0rrfStolen Herald.