davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-09-26
HUMOROUS.

Will you marry me. Bridget"
widower of a year asked his cook.
''How many afternoons week out
kin have, sorr?" she asked in reply.
-Harper's Bazaar.
1t was only the other day that
man who swore that he wouldn't cut
his hair until Henry Clay was elected
President thought of way out of it
He let his wife cut it.--Texas Siftings.
We want it to be distinctly under
stood that we are not one of those real
mean old things that believe that
woman is at the bottom of every
earthly trouble, but we must admit
that the demand for sealskin sacques
has had more or less to do with the dis
turbances about Behring sea-Wash-
ington Post.
-Maude-'Algernon. you know a
year ago told you would not marry
you until you had saved 100000" AL
gernon-'.Yes, but" Maude-"And
six months ago 1 told you l thought
we could get along on $1,000" Al
gernon-''But still" Maude-..Well,
how much have you by this time?'
Algernon-"Exactly $685. g." Maude
Don't you think hat-that-thati is
near enough?'-Time.
He wasn't bunco man. Ibid
you see any bunco men while you
were in New York. Uncle Abner?''
mo. sir, not one" Il understand that.
you met a slick stranger who beat you
out of $3.50" .'Um-ah-well-yes /
got playing cards one night and luck
was against me to about that amount,
but that fellow want a bunco man.
If he was he'd have said SO. Your
Uncle Abner knows enough to steer
clear Of those bunco fellows Epoch.
Small boy-..Pa. what is the dif-
ference between a pessimist and an
optimism" Pa-"WelI, let me see if
can illustrate. You know I'm often
discouraged. and things don't look to
me as If they'd ever go right Well. at
such times can be said to be a pess;-
mist But years ago when l was a
young man every thing looked bright
and rosy. and was always hopeful
Then was an 0ptimist Now, my son,
can you understand the difference be-
tween pessimist and an optimist?''
Small boy-.'Oh, yes; one is married
and the other isn't IN. Y. Weekly.
Inventor Eureka! Eure-''
Kansas Rustler = What air you
Eurekerin' about?" Inventor - IL
have just completed my duplex indi-
Gator. . little instrument that viii In
form its possessor Of the approach Of
. cyclone before" Rustler-"Wal,
you've wasted your time. Nobody'll
buy. What We want yere Is an indi-
Gator that'l; inform its possessor Of
the approach Of Eastern capitalist
soon's he gifts across the county line
and give the Teller with the Indicator
time to grab up his corner lot deeds
and git 70 tho capitalist fore anybody
olse knows he's comm. PUCK.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-09-26
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.


-Pundita Ramabai has named her
nome for high-caste Hindu widows
..Sharada Sadan," or The Home Of
Learning"
1t is proposed to establish the
"Lucy Webb Hayes Seminary" at
Fremont. O.. in memory of that
noble lady.
An English clergyman is reported
10 have remarked to q daughter Of
Bishop Huntingdon: HAS your father
many Mormons in his diocese? Utah.
[ think, is in New York"
That old motto of Wes.ey's il
not out of date yet Suppose the
members of all our churches. in city
aud in country, should adopt it, what
grand things might be achieved before
our second centennial: "At it. all at it.
always at it !"
"A clergyman in the London sub
urbs has resolved to give a garden
party on Sabbath afternoons. The
people do not come to his church in
such numbers as he could wish. and
he is going to see whether tea. fruit
and lemonade will draw them in tho
afternoon.
Under the ancient order of tho
Congregational churches man was
constituted a pastor only by installa-
ton. But the churches to large ex-
tent are served by stated supplies or
acting pastors" The last National
Council decided that those who do the
work should bear the title of pastors.
The Turkish Government recently
sent out an important order to the
Governor-General of the different
provinces declaring that established
American schools shall not be closed
for the lack of official permits, and
that complaints against schools must
be sent to the capital and not be dealt
with by the local officials.
According to the Presbyterian
there is sharp difference of view in
the Lutheran church of this country
over a rule forbidding the opening of
Lutheran pulpits to ministers of any
other denomination, even to any share
in services Certain clergymen have
transgressed the rule occasionally.
and this has led to sharp discussion
and the widening of a breach which
looks sometimes as though it might
grow into a disruption.
Prof. Edward P. Crowell. of Am
herst College, dean of the faculty and
professor of Latin language and liter
ature, is stone blind. When he lost
his eyesight, some five years ago. he
rendered his resignation to the trus-
tees, but they refused to accept it.
Prof. CrOwell's knowledge of the text
books was such that he is able to hear
his classes as usual, and to conduct
recitations as though he had the open
book before him. He breaches and
performs his duties as dean of the col
lege the same as ever.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-09-26
LULU AND LITTLE BEE.

Zulu played two summers
Little Bee, one
Such the tender legend
That was traced upon stone
In BRAN braided corner
OF Q graveyard, gray and lone.
Near the old home Of my childhood,
In the darling days a-gone-
"Lulu played two summers,
Little Bee, one"
Twas but a boyish stroller
OF the fields when first read
The quaint and fearful record
On that tablet to the dead;
Ihave passed the chiseled marbles
Stretching skyward to the sun,
To muse upon the meaning
OF the mystic lines that run:
"Lulu played two summers,
Little Bee, one"
Ibid not understand it then,
But now tbs all SO clear.
God knows my foolish fancy needs
No cold interpreter;
o, poetmother! never bard
That ever breathed has spun
A strain Of sweeter pathos
Than your poor heart has done
"Lulu played two summers,
Little Bee, one"
James Newton Matthews, in Chicago New
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-09-26
TONKA.BEAN ICE-CREAM.
Mischief Caused by Cheap limitations OF
Vanilla Extracts.

A druggist of this city, known
throughout the State as a careful and
conscientious member of his profess
sion, offers a possible solution of the
mystery of ice-cream poisoning. His
investigation in the Glastonbury case
revealed the fact that ice-cream, made
in the same freezer but favored diff
ferently, caused no poisoning. while
those who ate Of a particular lot of va
nilla cream were all more or less
affected. This led him to believe that
the trouble was in the vanilla" fla
voring, and he succeeded in procuring
a bottle of the extract that was used
for this occasion for examination. So
far as it was possible to ascertain
without chemical analysis, the "va-
nilla' extract contained not cne trace
of the true vanilla bean, but was
simply q strong extract of ''tonka''
bean. which is q poison, although to
the uninitiated it has similar odor
and taste to vanilla. The "tonka''
bean sells for about 81 pound, while
the best vanilla beans cost from SIS to
$50 q pound. Another fact in the
Glastonbury case which was peculiar
Is this: There was one lot of vanilla
cream made in the same freezer, but
favored with another make of extract
which did not cause sickness. The
druggist could not obtain sample
of the last extract, for no one seemed
to know where it was obtained The
conclusion that the druggis: arrived
at was that all the mischief was caused
by tonka beans, which unprincipled
dealers sell for vanilla It isn't well
or safe to buy q cheap extract Of IVA
nilla- Hartford Courant
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-09-26
eOOMS NEEDN'T APPLY.

on Its Merits.
''Can you direct me to Pacific City?''
asked the Buffalo man of station
agent in Dakota as he left the train at
a s.huddle" of four or five houses.
s.Right across the street for in
formation, SIR" was the reply, and
the stranger walked across to shanty
bearing the sign of Real Estate" and
put the same question to red-headed
man who was busy folding and sealing
prospectus.
This is it. SIR" was the calm
reply.
\ "Why--why-'
"You are disappointed, of course"
"Well, rather"
"You expected to see a city of at
least five thousand inhabitants. with
parks, schools, factories, churches
and all that?'
Eyes, did"
'Thats the way with many others,
but it is not our fault. Our object is
to go slow and sure, and not create
any thing like a boom to give fcti-
tious values. We have done remark
ably well thus far. One year ago this
was the only structure in the city.
Now look around"
''Now l can count seven"
Exactly. That's what our latest
prospectus says-improved seven hun
dred per cent in one year. Can you
ask town to go ahead faster than
that? Don't confound this wo nderful
progress with a boom, however.
Booms have killed half this Western
country. We don't want any"
Flows real estate?" queried the
Buff alo man after awhile
advancing, of course. Six months
ago offered lots on Washington av-
enue for SO foot To-day am ask
ing $40. That's 100 per cent, isn't it,
and nothing like boom. We are
simply growing on our merits alone.
That's the proper way for a town to
grow"
''Any factories here?"
'There are. A year ago we had
none. Now we have blacksmith and
q shoemaker. That's an increase of
200 per cent, and want you to find q
town to match it. There has been no
boom, however-remember that. It's
Just a natural growth
whats the population?"
That's one of the strong points In
my new prospectus. A year ago /
was here alone. To-day we number
twenty-five souls. Think of the tre-
mendous per cent of increase! All
legitimate and on its merits, and no
boom to cause a rush"
''Are the future prospects fatter-
ing?"
Exceedingly so. This climate is
good for catarrh and check on bill
iousness. Our seasons are very mild,
and farmer can get sixteen hours
day out of the hired man. This is a
great distributing point for trade, and
the center of manufactures, aud we
shall seek to have the National CAPT.
tai removed here. We expect six rail-
roads and two canals to cross here,
large universities have asked for sites,
and before the end of the year Con-
gress will be asked for a public build.
ing, to cost not less than a million
dollars. Flatteringp l should re-
mark. But we amt doing any crow
ing about it. 1t might start a boom,
and booms are the bitter foes of new
towns. We want to grow on our
merits as the coming city of the
glorious West. If you write any thing
for your home paper just put that in
all legitimate and solely on its mer-
its, and no booms need apply."-N.
Sun.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-09-26

Duplex Whose wife is dressing
for balD-''Gre at grief! Are you
going to wear that extremely low
corsage3" Mrs Duplex-.Certainl
dear. It viii not appear too decollete
when ! have on my pearl necklace"
Weekly.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1889-10-18
THE NATIONAL CAPITAL.

LEvE ERETT NJ. kELLEY. of Illinois.
chief of division of the pension office
has resigned.
THE president has appointed John W.
Blackburn. of Utah, 10 be associate Jus
tice of the supreme court of Utah.
THE resignation of Capt. Eugene Griffin.
of the engineer corps, has heen accepted by
the president.
THE president comnuted to six months
Imprisonment the sentence imposed in the
case of Vim. Fearn, convicted in the dis
trict Of Illinois, of violating the postal
laws.
The findings of the court martial that
tried Lieut.-Col. Fletcher at Omaha bar
racks last summer, have reached the pres
Ident' desk. The impression prevails in
army circles that the court found Lieut.
Col. Fletcher guilty, with recommendation
10 mercy.
ADMIRAL PORTER has been dangerously
Ill for two weeks, but MS family has tried
to conceal the fact which has finally leaked
out. His health has been very delicate all
summer. and it Is without doubt his last
illness, the end of which Is near at hand.
The President has made the following
appointments: Daniel NJ. Frost. of Kan.
as, to be register of the land c::st:Ge at
Garden City. Kas.; Daniel L. Sheets, of
Colorado, to be receiver of public moneys
of Durango. Col; William b. Newman, of
Missouri TO he receiver of public moneys
at lronton, Mo.
The president, Tuesday. made the fol-
lowing appointments: Cyrus Anderson,
of Kansas, to be register of the land Office
at oberlin, Kas.; Alfred Ludvall. of Ne
braska, to be receiver of public moneys at
Neigh, Neb.; Charles r. Drake, of Ari-
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1889-10-18
DECIDED AGAINST THE ROAD.
The Interstate Commerce Commission
Makes an Important Decision.

WASHINGTON, Oct. 1.-THE interstate
commerce commission made decisions in
the cases of Leonard and Chappelle against
the Chicago & Alton railroad. The COM
plainants were formerly allowed to ship
live cattle in carloads from Mount Leon
ard, Mo, to Chicago at the rate of $50 per
car and load twenty head into each car.
In January the complainant was inform
ed that the rate would be "a
cents per 100 pounds for a carload
of not less than twenty thousand
pounds, and any excess over that number
of pounds to the car will be charged for at
the same rate The commission decided
that this was not unlawful, and being
more in proportion to the service rendered
it, prima facie. more just and reasonable
than the practice that is supplanted Upon
the hearing it was shown by the state law
or the rulings of the state commissions
that shippers of cattle in Kansas or Mis-
souri, to points within the state had a
right to load a car without
regard to weight at a stated price
per car. 1t was said therule was the same
in other states and the commission urged
to conform thereto. The commission
holds such state action is not a reason for
adopting a like rule in interstate traffic if
that course was found not to be most Just
and polite The state action will always
be treated with the highest Difference and
respect, but cannot be allowed to control
matters within federal jurisdiction.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1889-10-18
Chicago Market.

CHICAGO, Oct. I5.-Flour-Dull and quiet
Wheat Easier; SOA for seller October; 81 for
seller December; SlGs for seller May Corn
Steady; 3O% for seller October; 31A for seller
November; S31s for seller May. Oats-steady:
lszl tor seller October; 1873 for seller November;
221z for eeller May Rye-GA for seller October.
BarIey-64 for seller October. Prime timothy
LIS. Flax seed 1.29 for seller cash; I.39 for
seller May. Whisky-1.02. Pork-Steady:
1913 for seller October 9.321z for seller January.
Lard-Steady; sos for seller October; ss714 for
seller January. Shoulders, 425d4.J0; short clear
5-JD5 62i short ribs 5LZ5 for seller cash. Butter
Easy: creamery. 17@9i; dairy, i2aaD. Cheese
In active demand: full cream chedders, slb91l
flats, 91z0l0: young Americas, 95l9IO. Eggs
STEADY: fresh, 1919. Hides-Weak; heavy and
light green sated, ~; salted bull, "a green
salted calf 81 dry salted, 8: dry calf, 5zD6;
deacons, each, ~. Tallow-Weak; No. ], solid
packed, 4: No. 2, 35S cake, ~.
Flour Receipts, 1900; shipments, 5000.
wheat-Reeeipts, lsi 90; shipments, 10000.
Corn-Receipts, 3o9.OoO: shipments. b57.oJ0.
Oats Receipts, 232, 100: shipments, $500.
CHICAGO. Oct. 15,- The DrOyers' journal re-
ports: Cattle Receipts, 1900; steady; choice to
extra beeves, 8ADl 4.se, steers, 2aD0A.60; stock-
ers and feeders, 19Og2.s5; cows, bulls and mixed,
y02 90 Texas cattle, 15DQg2 8; western rangers,
I75ss4 20 Iog-Reeeipt 300; strOng;5c higher;
closing weaker; mixed 5G5g4.s5; heavy, 1000
40: light, 4.npa46o; skip-, s50t4-15. Sheep
Receipts, $500; steady: natives 35ol,i.75; west
ern, g. sJGo4 10; Texans, 35J042J; lambs, lower;
s5yfI.5 50
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1889-10-18
THE LATEST TELEGRAMS.
NEWS IN BRIEF.

IT is stated that the estate Of the late S.
s. Cox will net only about 5000.
Rev. DEWITT TALMAeEis TO take trip
to the Holy Land.
PATTI will sail for this country Nov. %,
to make her annual farewell tour.
WATER In Milwaukee bay is IA inches
lower than ever known before.
EDWARD BELLAMY, the novelist, Is a
slender. rather good-looking man who
wears mustache and looks more liter
airy than W. d. Howells.
A MOVEMENT has been started in Eng
land for the erection of a monument to
Willtie Collins in Westminster Abbey or
St Paul's Cathedral.
The Supreme court of the Chickasaw
Indian nation has sustained the Legislative
amendment of the constitution deprlvlng
''squaw' men of the rights of Indians.
Colon y. CoNLEY, OF Chicago has pur-
chased the lreat trOtter Axtell for SlO5,-
600. 1t is supposed he represents a syn
dicate. This is the highest price ever paid
for horse Of any description.
Up to this time nearly seventeen and u
half millions of people have visited the
Paris exhibition. an increase Of more than
eight millions over the number in the cor
responding period at the exhibition in
Paris in 1873.
Consul HAYNES, at Bagdad, reports
under date of Aug. 2, that cholera is rag
ing throughout that vicinity. Fifty-nine
deaths are reported in one day and all the
people are leaving Bagdad.
THE Carnival association Of st. Paul has
met and decided to erect another ice pal
ace The city council will be asked to APP
propriate $4,000 and $50, 600 will beraised
by subscription.
PARIS is called the wickedest city on the
globe; but Julian Hawthorne, after second
and careful study of London, says there is
more vice to the square mile in that city
than anywhere else i'll the world.
The Superintendent of the Philadelphia
Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Children says that since high-license went
into effect the work of the society has fall
en- off q per cent. and the number of COM
mItments IS per cent.
AN epidemic of typhoid fever has spread
over Green Bay. Five persons have died
from the disease during the last two weeks,
most of them women. At present there
are about eight other cases, of which few
are expected to recover
WHEN Daniel Webster said that New
Hampshire was good State-to emigr.lte
fronl-he little dremed that his humorous
recommendation would be taken so liter
ally by the future generation. Large
tracts of land III Maine. Vermont and
Massachusetts are literally depopuIated,
and inducements are being held out to
Swedish colsonists to settle upon them at
IA nominal price.
PORTLAND, Orc-The recent unprovoked
murder of ENOUGH Crosby, following a
series of crimes and lawless acts, has so
aroused the peoply Of Tacoma that 1000
business men of that citv met Wednesday
night and adopted resolutions denouncing
the city government, protsstingagainstt the
issuing of liquor licenses, demanding that
the city officials rid the city of lawless peo-
pie and thoroughly light the streets, and
favoring an increase of the license fee to
81 900
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1889-10-18
IMPROVEMENTS CONE HIGH
Brig. Gen. Casey, Chief of Engineers
Makes His Annual Estimate.
over Thirty Millions Needed,to Carry
ON Harbor improvements.
-Four Hundred and Fifty Thousand 10
go 10 Wisconsin.

WASHINGTON, Oct, l5.-Brigadier Gen.
Casey, chief of engineers. in the annual
estimates submitted 10 the secretary Of
war; makes n number of Recommendations
Tor continuing the work on some of the
prlnclpat Improvements under his charge
during the year ending June 80. 1891.
among which are the following: Ohio.
river, s6OO,0e0; st, Mary river. st. Mary
Falls, 81, ,2S6,oOO; Fox river, Wisconsin,
S2OO.OOO; Wabash river, Indiana and Ilh-
nous, $4,000; Calumet river Indiana and
Illinois, 100000; Illinois river, $500, 600;
Mississippi river, Minneapolis to neS
MONIES rapids, Sl,000O 900: MiSSiS-
Sippi river, OeS MoineS to ILLINOIS,
100000; Mississippi. Illinois, to tine
Ohio river, S60O,0O0; Chicago mar
bor, Sl72,OO0; harbor of refuge.
Milwaukee bay, Sl5O.0OO: harbor of
refuge, St. Louis bay. Wisconsin, 100000
The total amount recommended by Gen.
Casey for river and harhor appropriatinns
Is $50, lS6,SO0. The total amount appro-
prlated by the river and harhor bill for the
year ending June 30, 1890, was S22.-
S97. .6I1.
The Mississippi river commission re-
commendS an appropriation for the fiscal
year 1890, of SA,SS6, ,250, among which are
the following items: Continuing SURVEYS
of Sl50,oOO; from the mouth of the Ohio
river. S4OO0,0O0. The Missouri river
commission asks for -, 100. 900 including
salaries, surveys, etc, Sl50.OO0. General
improvements, 81 900, 900, for special work
at Sioux City. Omaha, PattSmouth, Ne
braSka City, Bule, St Joseph Atchison,
Leayenworth, Kansas City, Miami and Ar
row Rock, $3.50, 600. The river above
and below Sioux City, 100000.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1889-10-18
FIRES AND CASUALTIES.

DUBLIN. The brigantine Xuleika. of
Belfast, was wrecked off Nalentia in Il
storm. The crew were drowned.
THREE men were killed and another
fatally injured by the explosion of Il steam
thrashing machine at St Thomas, Oak.
CLEvELANp.- The wholesale grocery
establishment of VIM Edwards & Co. has
been damaged to the extent of Sl25 900 10y
fire.
JouNsTowN.- 1t is estimated that
there are 300 cases of typhoid fever here,
The Red Cross society is doing everything
possible for the relief of the sick.
Rico. Col Fire Saturday morning
burned st. James Hotel and three other
buildings J. $. Phillips. engineer of the
Jumbo mine, c. Carpenter, and one other
man were burned to death.
Ar Davis Switch Il small village thir-
teen miles from Bradford, Pa. the dwell
irg Of Patrick Daily was burned, and his
wife and three sons, aged II, | | and 9,
respectively, perished in the flames. The
fire was caused 10y the explosion of natural
gas.
Mrs. FRITZ kATZ, Il young wife IN CHI
cago. poured half bottle of Carbolic acid
down her haby's throat and then swallow
ed the remainder Both are dead. The
mother is supposed to have been crazed
through sickness.
PrTTsBuRG. PA.-The three story build
ing attached to Oliver Bros, Tenth street
mill burned Monday. The machine. black
smith. ear shop and office we're destroyed.
The loss will probably reach $50, 900; full
ly insured.
JACKSON, Michigan.-The east wing
of the state prison, known as the school
and library. caught fire from Il timers sal
amaudcr on the roof and was des-
troyed. Perfect order was maintained
among the conyicts. Loss. $4,000.
SAVANNAH, Ga.-'rwo cotton presses, the
Tyler and Lower hydraulic presses. five
cotton warehouses, and 4,5OO bales of cot
ton were burned Wednesday morning. The
loss is estimated ut 100000.
NJ .wAUKEE. Wis. Silbar De Wolf x
Co., have assigned to Max AScher, who
gave bonds in the sum of S25, 600. Before
the assignee made his appearance the
sheriff had possession of the store on an
attachment in favor of Marshal Il llsly's
bank for S6,270. The firm has been In eX-
ietencC about two years, manufacturing
suits
LANSING. Mich.--W While awrecking crew
was engaged in clearing away the freight
on the Lansing Transit railway the hoist
ing beam Of the steam derrick broke and
fell upon a dozen men, killing Peter Quinn,
conductor of the construction train, of
West Bay City; George Ruby Of Jackson,
machineSt, and John Tentile Vest, a
brakeman. of Bay City. The former two
leave families The other men escaped
serious injury.