The National tribune., 1889-11-07
HUMoR.
LIME KILN CLUB.
improvements In the Hsil-Judgs BarrRcoon Gets
Some Good Advice from Brother Gardner.


Some Good Advice from Brother Gardner.
Detroit Free Press.I
The members who arrived previous to tht
opening of tho meeting and had time to look
around were agreeably surprised at some Of the
changes made by the janitor. The IL broken
panes of glass had been neatly replaced by
squares cut from coffee sacks aud tackled on, the
stove shone like mirror, and of the c0bwebs
along the ceiling not over dozen remained In
sight. The floor had been scrubbed, Brother
Gardner's desk painted mild and gentle
yellow, and the four long benches had received
a sky-blu tint which rendered them positively
charming against the background of the wall
Many were the compliments he received for his
industry and taste and he has only to pursue
his onward and upward career to secure pro-
motion.
"Ar Jedge Barracoon In do hall dis eaven-
in'H" inquired Brother Gardner, AZ he opened
tho meeting.
The Judge arose.
" Please step dis way, Jedge. hev heard 10
rnmored dat you ar gwine to leave us fur a
few months"
ayes, sab. has struck job in barber
shop in Buffalo. Dar' Ia gwino TO be two of
us-myself an dc brush-boy. Pze gwiBo to be
fO'man."
ut reioices mo TO know dat you mr. workin'
your way to de top, an Assure you dat you
will bo missed from our meetins. While you
heven't had much TO say, you hev allus bin on
do right side an dats good Offset. want
to give you few words of faiherly advice be-
fo' you go. You ar gwino among strangers,
an you will be sized up fur what you ar wuth.
In do fnst place. doan' 20 sloshin' around
as if you owned half de real estate in Buffalo.
DE folks will know you doan an dey will look
upon you wild contempt. You needn't 20
walkin' in do alleys, nor wild your head down,
but strike a medium. Act nateral-about as n
Guild man orter who is airning from $3.50 to
So week an expects long, cold Winter.
" Doan' do any brsggin'. It's usual wild a
Detroit Guild man who gifts away from homo
to shoot off his mouf in grand style, an seek
to convey TO ebery one dat no rents box in
do pos office an owns a quarter interest in n
race hors, but dey doan deceive anybody.
Sich talk is all squash.
Be courteous and oblgln' 10 all. You
needn't take of yer hat to ragman, nor git
down an AK butcher cart to please run 0ber
you, but say yes, SIR and mo, sir to cherry
body. Keep n smile on yer face an eber bear
in mind dat friendship ar de next thing to
cash.
"Be temperate honest and trooful No man
who Is fool 'uuf to pour somethin' into his
stomach 10 steal his sense can expect TO git TO
dc top A man who can't keep his fingers of n
odder peoples property ar bound TO land in
State prison. an de chap who can't hang to de
troof through thick an thin am sartin to lie
hissef out of good job once month
Wild desc few remarks which ar meant in
all kindness of heart, on behalf of dis club
wish you ebery happiness aud prosperity in
your new surroundin's / shall instruct de
Secretary 90 write IN official letter TO de Mayor
of Buffalo. givin' do date Of your arrival derc,
an' II you ar met at de depot wild brass band,
escorted to your barber shop in do best Of style
an den given dc freedom of do city. sock to
presarve . level head an remember what hev
said to you tonight"