Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1889-06-18
SPIRIT OF JEFFERSON.
cnAn1nsEOWu, Jn1rnnsoN couuzx. W. VA.
Various Items.

-
"when we were married five years
ago, I never expected to see you COM
ing home at one clock in the morn
ing" "WeI, you wouldn' now, my
dear" he replied, ''if you'd only go
to sleep earlier
"What the deuce does Nrs.
wear so many puffs and things for?'
asked q lady at the Won Schroeder
ball last week. why" was the re-
ply. she has indulged so much in
fashionable dissipation that she has
the delirium trimmings. -
The little boy was in his little
night-dress saying his prayers, and
his little sister couldn't resist the
temptation to tickle the soles of his
feet. He stood it as long as he
could, and then he said: Please,
God, excuse me while 1 knock the
stuffing out of Nellie
'How absurd,'' she said, ''to call
Jay Gould heartIess. 1 see in this
mornings paper that he spends an
hour in the nursery every day watch
ing his little grandson take his bath. ;"
'' Yes," he answered unkiudly,
"Gould always has been fond of wa
tering his own stock"
1t was a Connecticut boy who sur
prised his teacher in reading, the
other day, by his Interpretation of
the sentence: "There is worm.-
Do not tread on him." He read
slowly and hesitatingly, but finally
drawled out: 'tThere is n warm
doughnut; tread on himl"
Tramp Ito partner )-"Did the old
man give up anything, Bill?" Part
ner-'Naw. Tramp-"What did
you say to him?" Partner-'sI ask
ed him if he could help a poor man
who was out of work, and he said he
could give me some work. Times
seem to be gettin' wus every day"
She had done something naughty
and her mother had sent her off to
bed little earlier than usual, and
told her she would punish her for it
in the morning. The child knelt
down to say her prayers and she put
in this interpolation: "Please, God,
won't you take mamma up to Heaven,
not for altogether, but just for to-
morrowY'
Old furniture that has dull, grea-
sX 9q ahG should be ERRssd witt With s5 5HF
good polish. The improvement in
its appearance will repay you for all
your trouble. White spots on furni-
ture can be removed by wetting a
piece of flannel with turpentine and
then rubbing the spot hard. 1t may
require several applications of the
turpentine and much patience.
! A teacher in Western town, who
asked one of her pupils to procure a
grammar, received the following note
form the girls mother: 81 do not
desire that Matte shall ingage in
grammar, as prefer her to engage
in more yousfuI studies, and can
learn her to speak and write proper
myself. have went through two
lgrammars, and can't say as they did
me no good prefer Matte to in
gage in German and drawing and vo,
kal music on the piano"
CATARRH CURED. health and sweet breatl
secured, by Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy. Price
so cents. Nasal Injector free. Sold by G
Frank Jones.
| A strange electrical freak occurred
near Elizabeth, Writ county, w. Va.
recently. A heavy thunder storm
passed over the residence of Mr.. s.
P. Barnes. A terrific flash of light.
ming followed, striking the house anc
scattered the building in every direc
| ton. Mrs. Barnes was standing in
the middle of the floor at the time
with a glass jar of canned fruit in hel
hand. The jar was broken and scat
tered and the woman's hair burned
close to her head, still neither Mrs
Barnes nor her two children, both Of
whom were present, were otherwis,
injured.