Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1889-05-09
MARK TWAIN.
A Charitable and stupid Compositor
Makes Fool of "a Fly Reporter.

NO" said Mark Twain a week or
two ago rs he sat in his room at the
Murray Hill hotel and dreamily watch
ed the smoke from the pipe he was
putting. mo; | would not say that it
was the best thing that ! ever wrote,
but remember that was pretty
proud of it at the time and was de-
cidedly disappointed when it didn't
come out the next day. | didn't know
until you told me that the story ever
reached this part of the country. But
you haven't got it just right; it wasn't
the foreman at all; it was fool of a
eompostor who ruined the story.
Poor devil! | suppose he is dead now,
and it doesn't matter what we say
about his stupidity. But he was GER
tainly an awful fool.
You have one part of it right"
continued the humorst. lit happened
when was a reporter on the Virginia
City Enterprise. | was assigned to re-
port a dinner given by party Of
some of the most VIGOROUSLY hard
drinkers in town, and Virginia City
was not supporting many temperance
unions at that time. Everybody knew
that the dinner was going to resolve
itself into glorious drunk, and the
result proved that everybody was
right of course | didn't want to be
too hard on the bows in reporting their
dinner and yet, as a truthful reporter,
had to give the public 20 understand
just what had taken place there. In
happy moment | conceived the idea
Of conveying this information in
delicate way without really saying
that all hands were drunk My plan
was to begin my report in the regular
cut-and-dried way. After giving a
few sentences in this way | grew lit
lie more careless in my style. Gradu-
ally ! became more and more mixed
up IN my language, until at last the
words were written without any real
or apparent connection with each
other | tried my best to give the
reader the idea that as / wrote the re-
port | became more and more intOxi-
Gated, until | wound up in a stupidity
drunken condition. 1 was greatly in
tercsted in carrying out the plan as
well and naturally as l could, and
when after an hours hard work the re-
port was finished | felt that / had
written the very funniest thing that
bad ever appeared in that paper. The
copy went ont without being read, and
The FIRST part of it was set up just as !
had written it.
HE TOOL composition got hold of the
last part and Of course couldn't make
mead or tail of it. Instead of setting
ii up AS he found it and leaving the
TEST 10 the proof-reader or editor he
made up his mind that | had really
oeel drunk when | wrote it. He was
Aad-hearted man and he never liked
70 see one of the boys in trouble. So
he calmly proceeded to change my
copy and put in little connecting
words 50 rs To make sense of it. 1t
was 81, done with the kindest inten-
lion ~ the world. He didn't want to
see me discharged for being drunk.
Iatl ne destroyed my copy so that it
couldn't be brou- hit ia evidence of my
alunIng guilt.
II wouldn't care to say how fear
il-.y disappointed was when picked
UP the Enterprise the next day and
i2ohel for my funny report. 1t was
as eo.d.y stupid as a 10-year-old pat
s01 Office report. | wept scalding
sears and left the office On the street
ael tine compositor who had taken
sa.A pains to fix my story for me. He
ahea 50 happy when he told me how
'e AN5 been the means of keeping me
.a - trouble with the managers of
e." paper at [ hadn't the heart tO