New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1889-11-13
SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE.
The Sensible Views OF an Ex-
tremely Sensible Won an.

~
On the much mooted question, "Is
Marriage a FaiIurepn a lady writes to
the Chicago Inter Ocean some re-,
marks so sensible that we can not but
quote them for the benefit of our read
ers:
A woman makes failure of narri-
age unless she makes an effort to do a
great deal more than is implied in
her marriage contract. It is supposed
that the husband supplies the materi-
at for the home, and they are very
raw materials indeed unless the wife
takes hold of those means with the
hand Of a creator, building up out of
them helps and associations loved
and needed by both. And woman
must put her soul into her house, or it
is a hollow and sounding shell.
AS high as we must rate the accomp-
lishment Of good housekeeping, it is
not all in the making of a home. I
know lady who was a marked fail
ure as a housekeeper who was the idol
of her husband, and who graduated to
the world d family of accomplished
and honored children, And there are
women who in pain and weakness are
confined to their own rooms, yet who
manage to hold the power in an order
~ house and fill it full of love-light
and happiness sufficient for the com
fort of all who cross its threshold.
1t is the quality of recognizing and
filling need that is the essential quality
of success in marriage. Practically, if
man comes home from business with
headache, hungry for a bit of sympa-
thy andslove, and a good deal of quiet,
and finds his wife in a raging excite
ment over an elaborate dinner, and is
ordered to keep out of the way and
amuse the children till the great pro-
ceeding is eliminated, he is about as
unfortunate as the man who brings a
college friend home to dinner and finds
his wife in wrapper and slippers deep
in French novel. But the woman
who spies the coming friend from the
window slides out OF her wrapper in a
twinkle and appears upon the scene in
due time with a soul cheering cup of
French coffee, is the woman who
makes her husband envied among men.
Unfortunately women have hobbies,
and ride and ride and never perceive
that they are boring their companions
to death. There are men who would
go to war to be rid OF paper flowers,
hair flowers, rugs, tides and what not;
and there are men who think art and
music are inventions Of the evil one to
make people miserable. Any one,
anywhere, who cultivates hobby at
the expense Of other peoples comfort
is making a failure of life; but true
politeness of the heart between friend
and friend, man and wife, will obviate
the danger of overdone amusements.
1t is easier to forgive virtuous excess
of zeal, and it is mostly excess of zeal
for excellence of some kind that causes
some women to be more exclusive
housewives than wives of men. The
greatest charity should be extended to
a woman who makes her house so per-
feet in detail and polished in appear
ance that her friends 60 into it with
fear and trembling, for she is afflicted
with virtuous zeal, and has only over
drawn a very good thing. Housekeep-
ing has it's fanatics and martyrs as we'll
as any other good cause
But housekeeping conducted as a
means of happiness and comfort, either
in a cabin or a palace, is science that
no wife can neglect if she wishes to
sustain the law of mutual helpfulness
in marriage.
A wife expects her husband upon
marriage to begin a course Of toiling
for her support without remission or
any suspension of responsibility, and
why should he not expect her to aspire
to the greatest excellence in home
making? just here is whore the
wedge of dissolution frequently enters.
Awoman fails to give as much as she
fecelVes-that IS, she works from COM
pulsion more than from desire to
keep up her side OF the partnership
with dignity and grace.
But one says: II work all the time;
/ work like a slave" Yes, my dear,
you do work like a slave just like a
slave, and net like a responsible being
seeking an end and not the means.
You have braided little Eva's dress up
and down and all over, which does not
help little Eva, and your husband
would have appreciated you more had
you spent your evenings with folded
hands and happy face in your rocking
chair by his side. You spent hours of
time on unnecessary things and forgot
the essentials OF your partnership,
which is to evolve as much peace and
comfort as possible out of your mater
ials.