The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-12-28
TOPICS.

engaged another, w~hereupOn the first
sues him for the balance of her contract.
Lacy sets up In defense that she would not
obey the stage instructions. On one oc-
casion, he alleges, she up and stuffed his
mouth viii her boa I'm the midst OF u
scene, thereby spelling his articulation.
He grew tired OF such conduct, he says,
and il what he alleges In true, one can
conceive that she must have been u great
boa to him.
MEDICAL Classics prints a very learned
article on '~'sightsecr's headache" observ-
ing that the maintenance Of the upright
posture during several hours OF languid
locomotion, the varied and frequent
movements OF the head, commonly In an
upward direction, and the similar and
equal restlessness of the eyes. form n
combined series of forces which bring
wcarincss and pain into the best regulated
head. To n great portion of mankind
this scientific opinion will he most CRATE
fully received. We had supposed i'm our
ignorance that the headache experienced
10y n man who had been out seeing the
sights for any length of time was largely
due to other causes, but the medical men
know best.
A donkey shot u man i'm Bridgeport,
Conn. the other night. The donkey he
lonRed to an equine aggregation, and his
business was to fire a pistol by pulling n
riRger with his teeth. In this instance
the donkey fired n cannon, which IL was
intended that one OF the trained horses
should discharge. The stage manager
had his back toward the ordnance, and,
the charge and waddinR striking him,
hustled him over the foot-lights and upon
the head of one of the orchestra. Both
manager and musician were severely
hurt, but the donkey trotted down to the
footlights and looked down ON the rom
fusion with the utmost satisfaction and
complacency. Possibly the audience were
filled with the same emotions. The gem
eral Introduction of this breed of donkeys
on the stage could not but have u whole
some effect OH the modern drama.
Since the time Eve picked apples the
number of people filled with desire to get
something for nothing has been increas-
ing i'm constant ratio tn the population.
There il grief i'm the agricultural districts
of Iowa. A Minneapolis man advertised
his furniture business. He proposed to
give away three pieces Of parlor furniture,
rocker, sofa and chair, rs u sample of his
immense stock to those who sent the sum
of 80 cents tn pay the expense of boxing.
These pieces Of furniture were said to he
trimmed with plush seats and the only
condition which he exacted was the par
ties to whom they were sent should call in
their neighbors and tell them of his furni-
ture. The people responded by hundreds
and perhaps thousands. A package the
size of an envelope box contains the par
lor pieces, the eleRan plush bottomed
samples. They are cute little cast iron toys
ana tho plush DOttOI1S are Rlutu OH WIFI
the skill Of a mechanic. The Minneapolis
man cannot be said to be ~ swindler i'm
the eyes of the law for he gives good value
for the money. But he has disappointed
many people.
Men who for the first time achieve the
title of father should take warning OF the
misfortune which befell AN Alden, La.
gentleman last Sunday. The custom men
rave of playing with their offspring, par
ticularly their f~lrst-born, is in every way
noble and praise worthy, alternating as 1t
does the cares of the mother and at the
same time furnishing much innocent
diversion and original entertainment to
the father himself, to say nothing of the
baby. In pursuit of this t~ime-honored
practice men generally deem il necessary
and even tn n sitting posture, assuming in
stead II position rs far ~ possible like
unto hat of the beasts of the field. This
attitude, which il denominated i'm the
parlance of the nursery being upon all
tours, is not apt To strike disintercsted
majestic possible to the noblest work of
God. and being aware of this fact, gentle
mcn i'm assuming il invariably do
so behind closed doors, positively
no atimittancc being granted even
to the nurse maid. Al such times "a man
wishes tn he alone with his thoughts and
his baby. He il under the pleasant hal
lucination that his extraordinary position
Will appear I'd the DnDy as grotesque ana
thoroughly amusing AS Il would bc to his
friends and -acquaintances i'm the city. IL
was in thisf frame of mind that the Alden
gentleman undertook to gambol with his
first-born ON Sunday. Nor did he conflnc
himself tn his hands and knees. Bccom-
ing weary of maintaining that posture, he
abandoned himself to nature, lay down
fiat on his back, rolled over and over, ele-
waited his legs until they stood at right
angles with his prostrate body, and per
formed sundry and divers other feats with
himself. all calculated to I'LL the baby with
mirth and Glee tn it's very utmost capacity.
But unfortunately the gentleman was not
an acrobat and he overestimated his abil-
ity to guide and direct his limbs in their
eccentric convolutions. At ANY rate he
| seems 10 have lost control OF one of his
legs. for presently he kicked the
stove with such force rs tn knock
il over, thereby setting fire tn
the house. 1t is gratifying tn
learn that he had sufficient presence Of
mind tn resume his feet, snatch up the
baby and convey il to "a place of safety.
This lesson does not teach men to forego
the pleasure of playing with their babies.
but simply suggests to them the necessity