St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-08-04
The Heroes Of Uniform, Ep-
aulet and Sword Who Live
for Glory's Sake.
Soldiers Brave and Militia
Bold, and Their Love for
the Art
Of Poking a Gun About, Drill
ing a Squad or Shooting at
a Wooden Man.
Some Of the Notabilities Of St.
Paul Who Have Worn the
Stripes Of War.

There are few men in whose bosom
does not linger talent hungering for
the glories of a soldiers life. The fasci-
nation of uniform, a sword and gun
date back with them to the earliestda
of infancy, when, with pea gun and
dime novel, they covered the back lot
with gore. The cherished love haunts
the time of youth when the rage for the
militia results in a large expenditure
for white gloves and bontOnnieres for
dress parades. 1t creeps along with the
advance of age, and there is not an old
granddaddy in the land whose scraWny
legs will not crack when the bugle
blows. An innate desire on the part of
most human beings to ''show off, from
the size of their calf to the proportions
of their head, is PROFESSIONALLY the
basis for military ambitions. A uniform
is such a distinguishing mark from the
vulgar he'd that said vulgar herd has
been almost swallowed up in the at
tempts to be distinguished. AS to uni
forms, thereis no danger of an apparent
gulf between the sleeping Car porter
and the "Ma'liShia" captain except as to
style of buttons. In districts removed
from the cities, it is not unusual to have
the porter referred to as colonel"
while in the city an opposite sometimes
is made as to the real colonel.
With the present mania for uniform
ing everything from time tables to gar
bage inspectors there is strong Suspi-
ciOn that it will soon be necessary for a
man to climb heavenWardS in blue pants
and a regulation blouse. st. Peters
pertinent questions as to identity will
then be answered by companies and
brigadeS, and departed souls cross Jor-
dan on the double quick and an eternity
of rations. 1t is fair to assume that if
this ever becomes the case. one Of the
first to answer present" will be Capt.
StOuch, of the Third infantry, whose
manly bosom perSpireS under a hand
some Uncle Sans broadcloth. A
uniform becomes Capt. Stouch
in. all parts of his person, except Just at
the line of the equator. There is tend
ency there to slip away to the poles,
which causes anxiety on the part of the
observer as to when the captain will di-
vide in two.
Lieut.. French is one of the handsom-
est men in uniform that the army pos
sesses, although his kindly disposition
to 'kick" at all things, from checker
fly to the shah of Persia, slightly ruff
fles the fit.
The abandon with which a uniform
clings to Lieut. Avery when he yachts
upon the Mississippi is strongly suggest
i've of Bill Nye's appearance when he
parted company with a Wisconsin cy-
clone.
Lieut.. Avery's dress parade carriage
is strongly suggestive of four of kind
against lone pair, and move hundred
miles away.
Col. Bend, of the state guard, in full
uniform might we'll do for a queens
chasseur after good dinner. The col
Onels growing weight attaches itself to
a uniform in particularly clinging
manner.
Adjt. Gen. Mullen is too short of
stature to look as we'll in uniform as
out of one. When in service the tend
ency of the uniform is to reduce the
adjutant's appearance to a row of brass
buttons and a streak of army blue.
Gov Merriam is another living illus
tratiOn Of how often nature forms
man for happy combinations. On the
field of battle at Lake City, when the
governor before the First regiment re-
moved his chapeau, the ranks were
thrilled to see from his head to feet the
red, white and blue of the national col
OrS. The governor can at all times sup
ply at least one of the national colors,
and this is source of congratulation.
Col. Bobleter, with pair of mustach-
los fit to set Spanish muleteer wild
with envy, presents in the garb of his
regiment the stern, epltomized appear
ance of a PruSSian exclamation point.
While the six feet of Frederick's grena-
diers are lacking in the colonel's case,
he is none the less most gallant look
ing soldier,
Capt. Chantler'S most picturesque
uniform is bathing suit. three-quarterS
off amidships and low in the neck. The
military appearance of his ham bones
in such adornment suggests the source
of inspiration OF his military ardor.
The captains fervOr for national guard
affairs prompts the thought that he will
die with his uniform and not his boots on.
Maj. Peirce, the author of the now
celebrated question: What in HI are
you boys doing, any Way?" in the dress
of his rank has been said to resemble
Roderick Dhu, when he fell foul of the
enemy some years ago. Mr.. Dhu was
short III the leg as to uniform. Maj.
Peirce, it has been asserted, wore horse
weights in his epaulets during the en-
campment to prevent the wind from
blowing through them.
Sergeant Iverson, of Company G, fills
up a uniform with the comfortable as
surance that bran settles out the con-
fguration of sack. Square in the
shoulders and head erect, Capt Iverson
becomes his uniform, his company and
the state guard.
Capt Braden makes up in uniform
oh Of hn 20
officers, and presents in the garb of
soldier a truly military appearance.
There is a natural sternness TO his face
that reminds one of the Union front at
Gettysburg.
1t is said that DR.. Murphy's sylph-
like form in military garb has a tend
ency to reveal certain disproportions
not to be alluded to in family Journal.
1t is necessary for him on dress parade
to wear a uniform about the width of
of the temperate zone.
Maj. Hawley, of the battery, has
tendency to abdominal elongation that
renders STOPPING over in uniform pain
full task.
1t would be strictly classical to refer
to Gen. Bishop as a Northern pine.
around whose lean branches cling the
habiliments of war, while the wind
sits through his whiskers. The gen.
eral is almost too tall for the proper
connections to be made between the
mean circumference of his ankles and
the maximum of his neck.
j. j. McCardy carries the air of SOL
der about him, but it was noticeable on
Decoration day that his uniform was
slack IN the rear and of strong upward
tendency from the heels. The gallantry
with which Mr.. McCardy bestrode his
fiery steed did not blind unprecedented
observers to the fact that he was suffer-
Ing from case of miStit.
Gov. Marshall adheres to a uniform
with the same grace as a seersucker fits
dude. The governor was born a sol
der and is one of the few who at the
close of the war should have remained
in the regular army for the good of its
morals and the decline of the poker
table.
A uniform never did become A. r.
McGill. The contrast between the hue
of his mustache and the brass and blue
beneath his chin being too strong for