Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-10-10

risd the colonel. ~ he looked out Of the once
sindow,
II dost zee anything 20 very strange abost |
that particular boy, !" replied one Of the ionas
ere, a. he sAantered up and sAs boy OF ten
ON the Opposite side 81 tb< street
Bot be-. got . jag, - persisted the colonel
We'll, shat Of ng Can't boy carry .
Jug"
But he 10 svinzinz II around his bead.
"Let him s-ina. You never saw . boy
sbo wouldn't"
..fII bet he breaks It before he gets TO the
corner. exclaimed the colonel.
'.soussnss
Bet you e2o"
"Dons."
Half dozen rushed up TO ssfch further
proceedings. The boy continasd TO swing
the jug. apparently bent upon performing
some particular feat. and just before be
reached the corner his hand slipped and the
jug was dashed TO pieces.
Il knew IT, knev H." ehaekIed the
colonel, a. he danced around.
.Drzt MIN Here's your money" gro~led
the other.
An hour later, after haviog spent the inter
quirsd
Colonel. did you think you had a sure
thing on meS"
''Certainiy. I bought that jug for the
boy. and gave him 80 cents to carry out the
programme
A spaper correspondent from st. Louis
is rssponsi Die for the folio~ing
We were sitting in front Of Taylor, gro
Gerry on a summsr day, when big black hog
came nosirg along the gutter and started
new train of thought. In the crowd Of
ioangers was = man from St Louis. ard,
after ~atehing the porker for while, be re-
marked
II wonder II that hog ever had real good
time In all bis hfef''
Hogs alius have good times, guess, re-
marked the village cooper who had knocked
Oh work and come over to hear some politics.
II doubt It," said the other. ale must
feel his degraded position in life, and so he
cannot be happy. I ~i.h | could do some
thing 10 make him feel that lite 10 worth the
living"
"Fust man ever saw who pitied hog
granted the blacksmith. who ought to have
been txeking a shoe on a waiting mule.
Yes. | do pity him I've been down my
self add kno~ hos 1t Ia Fay lor. have you
got any cherry whisky
Mighty little. if any More cherries
than whisky guess
| IF YOU We got two larts of cherries that
have been in liquor bring en- our, and I'll
give you half dollar m going to make
hat hog happy for Two hours 80
! The grocer got the cherries, which had
been lyieg in liquor for couple of years,
snd the st. Louis man poured them into the
gu,t.r for the hog They were devoured
with astonishing avsdity and the porker
stood and looked at US and hungered for
more. IL was doubted by some II the liquor
soud affect him. but after few minutes he
be gan to frisk and play, and was evidently
under the influence.
That does me good said the donor of
| he cherries. lie il becoming lisht-hearted,
and life will now take on ne~ charms to him.
| Hang a man who wont give hog a show.
| Just then the animal uttered a hoarse
'~ooft and charged for the crowd. We
-cst,ered and he entered the grocery, took
two or three turns and shot out and down
,hc street F. quire Smith coming up
and the hog charged and upset bin. He then
| headed for horse ard hugxy in front of Sny-
| ler's crashed against the horses hind legs,
AID IN another moment there was runaway.
! he widow Watkins WAS sailing along with a
can OF Kerosene in her hand. and the hog
rolled her on the walk rs IL sbe had been
struck by u locomotive. He then charged a
| luuble team aud started them off, dove into
| Gay lords dry goods store and out, and the
DID man Sabin turned in frcm Elm street
just in time to he lifted three feet high and
rolled Into puddle
Fifty men were ou' ard after the porker
Dy this time, but he started another runaway,
upset baby carriage, and Knocked the reg
lster of deed, of his pins before we corner
ed him and got q rope arounl a hind leg.
Then everybody was mad and wanted VEN
geance, but when they came 10 look for the
st. Louis man he had skipped. He, how
ever, left message for the public, saying to
boy who had Skinned up an awning post to
he out of DANGER
My son. il you haven't adopted a motto
yet, let me throw out one fer your digestion
1t Give everything fair show"
The following method of settling duets ap-
pears TO be the most modern but We see lit
tie hope OF its coming into general use.
Two men in East Tennessee, Capt. Black
and Col Gage were on their way TO fight
duel when they were overtsken by fellow
no told them that John Black. the captains
son and Eva Gage. daughter of the colonel
had Just been married.
Colonel" said Black "this news ought to
settle our little difficulty"
YES | reckon it ought
They accordingly went into stlll-ho Sc
Later in the Jay some one, in speaking TO
Black. said
Captain, | thought that you were mad
enough with Gage to kill him
so | was, bu, my revenge is sweeter
That boy of mine is the no accountest human
| ever saw,
The Colonel, in speaking to the 50 ne
man, said
I'm glad didn't kill Black. for I've got
him in fouler way Ii that gal o mine
don't lead his son lively life, don't want
cent. She's lest simply pizen."
As a farmer from West Hurley was driv
ing ~tth his wife on the outskirts of King
ston, n. Y, recently, he came upon 3 Turk
| leading a tame bear The farmer. wishing
to have hi. wife see the bear dance, said he
would give cents to the master of the
bear If he would make il dance After the
dirty Turk got the morey he told the farmer
the terpsichoresn performance would
not begin until another 5 cents was
placed in his hand. This made the farmer
angry, and he .nid
"lf you don't make that bar dance I'll
make YOU dance and the bar. too"
| The owner Of Bruin made no move until
| the farmer got off his wagon to carry bis
threat into execution, when he put his hand
TO HE pocket Ne II to draw revolver. Til
the farmer .'let out with his right" and Sc
the bear-owner .prswling in the gutter. As
soon xs the turk could get up he took the
muzzie Of the bear, and, in an unknoS IN
tongue. told Bruin % go for" the farmer.
The bear. thus encouraged, went for" tie
farmer. who soon m,de his fingers almost
meet around the bears wind-pipe. VIII
the farmer saw AZ 10 let go the bear sneak. d
up to his master coughing and spi,ting blood,
and it's master began to make tracks from
the spot. All this time the farmers wife sat
still in the wagon, simply saying;
James. wish you wouldn't be so
foolish
II can't help it, Marier." said the farmer.
II wasn't brought up in the woods to be scarf
by owls."
the euAVEne