The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-18
BRIGHT BITS.

Your money or your life9~
would you rob professional brotherf''
Are you in the professiong"
am managing the church fair
Pass on, friend. ''-Hdrper's Bazaar,
DELICATE SHADES Fathers. ESD
L suppose you don't speak to the common herd
any more. Miss Luckeigh?
Miss Luckeigh (who has Just realized largely
why certainly, Mr. Fathers, how do you do?
THE GRocER-Good morning. Mr.. Oatcake
What brings you back to the city so soon?
Farmer Oatcake-Waa I'm going to have a
good many more summer boarders than ex-
pected, so you might send me ten more cases o
canned vegetables!
HoPE FOR THE HUMBIEsr.-Fifteen years ago
a Missouri boy left his home and started out to
become the President of the United States
He got as far as Cincinnati. The boy is now
man, and he is one of the best shoemakers in
the Ohio state prison.
De OsfNIBUs Reconsideration of my osses
is VERY queer this morning. sir.
Mr.. Meek-Indeed, which one?
Driver-The of 'uD.
Mr.. Meek-The orphan All. perhaps the
poor animal is thinking of its parents Funny
FOLKS.
A Coop DEFINITION. -Teacher-Tommy, what
is the memory
Tommy-It is the faculty-the faculty.
That's right. Go on.
1t is the faculty with which-with which we
forget things.-BroHl the German, in TEXAS
SJttnQs
81 AM TIRED of living with such homely wo-
mani! exclaimed William Rush of Niagara Falls
as he walked away from his wife six weeks ago
The other day she was left legacy of $40, O00
and William hurried back home to call her his
angel one, but she wouldn't let him in.-Detroit
Free Press.
LITERARY.-Miss Ritta--Aren't YOU fond of
dialect poetry, Mr.. DreStbeeph?
Mr.. Drestbeeph lof the Chicago Browning
Society)-Wel, James Whitcomb Riley and
EupeQ6 I
some poems by fellow named Chaucer the
other day, and he carries it too far.--Life.
Tubs accounting his experience at a nusi
Gale few evenings previous)-They did not
even ask me to sing.
Miss Whitelye (placidy)-You've sung there
before, haven't you?
Tubbs-Yes, once. Why?
Miss Won, nothing.--C Columbia Spectator,
PRUDENT LovER-I have vital secret to con-
fide in you which you must promise to forever
Kind Parent-What is your secret?
Prudent Lover-I want your daughters hand
in marriage.
Kind Parent-I shall never give il awav-
Omaha World
/ BELIEVE that it was Mrs Ella Wheeler Will
cox who said that the world had outlived its
passion. She should be around and hear what
disappointed republicans say about Harrison
and then she would admit that she was mis-
taken. He is sarcastically called not the APP
pointing power, but the disappointing power
Col Snort in Texas Strings
MRs. DtMpsEY-See here, Johnny Dumpsey,
You have been in swimming. Now don't deny it.
Johnny Dunpsey-CrosS my heart, hain't
ma!
Mrs. Dumpsey-Careful sir! How does your
shirt happen TO be on wrong side out?
Johnny Dumpsey-Me and Bill Brown have
been turnin' somersets all the morning.-B1sr-
tiaqton Free Press.
BLrNKs-If you have SO much trouble with
The idea of being bothered that way in this
marvellous ass of scientific and mechanical
progress l got full set only few months
ago.
Jinks-Indeedl Are they success?
Blinks-SuccessY l should say so. Why, l
can almost eat with them.-Nelo York JYeekly