Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-11-14
A Queer Postmaster.

a traNeiHS poStollicc Inspector WcnI
up into Scott county a few days ago foi
the purpose of investigating certain re-
ported crookodncss. One afternoon he
reached a small cabin situated near 0
lonely road. He stopped. intending te
get drink OF water, and MS lie drew
near tho house he was astonished al
seeing signboard bearing the follow.
ing inscription: "Poost offs" An old
fellow with grizzly beard and hairy
chest-dispayed, rs his shirt was un.
5uttoned--came out aud merely nod.
ding to the inspector, sat down on a
stump.
'How are you'" said the. inspector
'Tor ble."
''Have you any fresh water handy?"
PLENTY Nv 1t down thar in the
branch. One NV the boys shot my
bucket all ter pieces an sense then l
halter 60 ter Their branch W en- wanter
drink"
Just then man. mounted on mule,
rode up All asked: Mr.. Plummer. got
any letters for mep"
Eyes thar's one here, Bill Patterson,
,ut you KANT get it. Go on away
rom here, or I'll make you wush you
iadn' { come"
"Wush yer would give it ter me-"
''Yas, and Their niger wushed that
her coon would come down outer Their
rec but it didn't come"
Say. MIR. Plummer.
Shut your mouth an say nothin',
IN morn that, yon'd better mosey
way frum here"
The man rode away. and the inspect
", addressing the postmaster asked:
why didn' you give that man his
etter?'
"Kase he worked agin me when run
or jestice NV peace.
Yes. but the government doesn't
;aro anything for that"
Reckon not, but do"
but you were appointed to serve the
people"
"Yas. an. I sarve 'em. too-sarve
lone NV them ike old Nick"
My friend. I am travelling post Of
ice inspector and"
.'All right. then, travel"
I'll report you to the postoffice do
oartment. which shall DO very apt to
10. you'll travel"
"Rocken not. This establishment
'longs ter me an nobody's got a right
er tell me to git out"
How long have you had this Of
iicep"
Ever sense built It,"
Il mean. how long have you been
oostmaster?"
Bout n year. reckon"
At this juncture an old fellow, eau
'iously picking his way among the BUSH.
els. approached the postmaster, who
apon seeing him sprang to his feet and
exclaimed:
"Whut in thunder do you want here.
Abe Smith,"
Come after that paper"
Didn't tell yer that yer KANT get
eyes. but I lowed that yer mout
change yer mind"
"Wall, hain't. When yer refused ter
end me yer slide an boss t. other week
| told yer that yer couldn't git nothin'
also outen this office"
l m er goin' ter get that paper"
Not lessen yer better man than
BE-"
AN that's erbout what 1 think"
"Wall. help yerse'f."
With agility surprising for such old
men they gappled each other and began
a desperate struggle. Abe Smith sue
ceeded in throwing the postmaster
Now" said Smith as he began to
choke old Plummer, '.goin' ter let me
have that paperP"
A gurgled Yes" came from the post.
masters throat, Smith released his
hold and suffered Plummer to get I'D.
WALL" said the postmaster, as he
stood brushing the fragments of leaves
and bark from his beard. Il reckon
wuz sorter mistaken in yer. l didn't
know that yer wuz such nice man.
Come in. Abe. an git yer paper fur
yer have earned it like white man. I"
: ..tAin't thar letter fur me, toop'
"Yas."
"Wall. 1 want it,"
KANT git it, Able. Yer ct fur ther
paper an not fur Their letter"
Got ter have IT, Rlummer,"
mot lessen YER whip me ergain,"
"B reve ! ken do it,
"All right, Able"
They went at 1t again, pranced
around. striking at each other. F nal.
ly Plummer struck Abe heavy blow
and felled him; then, seating himself on
the PROSTATE man he said:
Don't want Their letter. do yer
Abier" w.
-. Reckon not PIummer,n
"All right; come eghead an git yer
paper,"
When Abe had gone the postmaster
turned to the inspector and said.
"Want any til ng outen mep"
mo. I believe not"
"Ef yer had err letter here an didn't
want yer to have it yer wouldn't argy
Their p int would ycrP"
u don't think that should"
don't want no truck with mep'
"None,"
"Wall, then, good-by. Got ter 90 in
now an make up ther mail."-United
States M0T