The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1889-07-06
puneEnrS PARAGRAPHS.

PUNGEN / fPAHAGRAPfS.
The watch.rhalker knows us much
about spring cleaning as his wife does.
Oregon Statesman.
If you charge a,w oman with pow
der and paint she is likely TO go off
mad. d.-Terrc Haute Express.
Pastoral innocence is not all 1t Is
painted. The gentle shepherds have
crooks among them. --Picayune.
"Whom the gods love die yourg."
And the moro one sees of the survivors
the more one appreciates the taste of
the gods.
When married woman goes out
to look after her rights her husband is
usually left at home with his wrongs.
Boston Courier.
-Love-letters may be all very we'll
in their way, but they ought never to
be written in any kind of ink that is
meant to last over night -Somerville
journal.
--Tubbs-"I flc.ter myself that hon
esty is printed ON my face" Grubbs
"Well-er-yes, perhaps-witb some al
lowance for typographical errors."-
Burlington Free Press.
Ny. i,iobson- -"What idiots there
are on the newspapers nowadays!'
Mrs. Blobson-"Yes, you have been
sitting on that copy of the News for
the past half-hour.
A Kansas mar paid ten dollars to
the fund to buy old John Browns rife
for the State Historical Association,
and then mortgaged his team to raise
money to pay his taxes. Kansas City
Star.
~ always look out for No. L." re-
marked selfish fellow. who had just
married widow. ''N ell. you needn't
worry yourself about it any longer"
she replied significantly. mo. | will
look out for you hereafter. ."-Washins-
ton Critic.
Small boy Papa. what does
'Inonotonous' meanP' Father (wearily)
WYATT till your mother begins to talk
dress with your grandmother my boy.
Then you'll realize the full meaning of
the word. IN. Y. journal.
English Count want wife
with diamond eyes, golden hair ruby
lips and silvcry voice." American
eirl--"And suppose her friends will
find her in pawnshop before the
end of the honeymoon. Jewellers
Weekly
Seaside hotel proprietor (anXious-
| ly)-"Hasn't the sea serpent occn re-
ported to-day yef?" Office boy-"No,
sir: no one hez seen it," ''Look!
There comes sailing party in now.
Rush down to the beach ard ask them
if they saw" mo use, sir; that's
a temperance crowd. d."-Philadelphia
Record.
Il can't understand. Bobby" said
his father, ''why you should quarrel SO
much with Tommy White. Your
mother tells me you quarrel with him
most of the time" Il can't help il,
pa" replied Bobby. thoughfully. "I
guess must get my disposition from
you and ma"
Particular boarder This fish.
waiter" Truthful waiter promptly
WAS killed this morning." Particular
boarder (approvingly)-"You did right
to kill it," Truthful waiter Gnquir-
ingly)-"Yes, sir?" Particular boarder
(firmly)-"Because it had been ashore
so long that it had forgot how to swim
and would have drowned If ever it
went to sea again. '-Burdette.
Deacon Skinnint-"This is an age
of irreverence. read tonight about
some fellow who has engraved the
Lords Prayer on ten-dollar gold
piece and wears it on his watch chain
for curiosity. This is all wrong. very
wrong. There are some things too
sacred to be trihed with" Carper-
ITO which do you refer, Deacon. the
prayer or the gold pieceP"- Terre
Haute Express.
-Husband-"Wife, / read great
many accounts of women being robbed
by pickpockets on the street. Do you
know how to carry your purse so as to
Illustrate thcm?" Wife-"Yes: just as
i always have since 1 married you. If
any pickpocket can be satisfied with IL
recipe for making spiced pickles and Il
faded proof of the baby's picture
grandma paid for last fall, he's welcome
to it. am always prepared for pick
pockets"