Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-05-10
- shW 49, - 80.


EEotsls-VFlHab aud How 5Fs Eat aud
Drink from a French Standpoint.
The great mass of the American
people live on tough meat Knocked
and iced-watar unfi tered
take it for granted that sheep and
cattle are born at as tender an age in
America as elsewhere, but the Society
for the Protection OF Animals probably
prevents their being killed for food
while they are young enough to ENJOY
life, and so the pabrIarchs are reserved
for the table
That which renders the problem of
dining almost past solving IS that the
meat has to be attacked with plated
knives which tear, but do not cut it. 1
suppose that, as half the lower class
Americans still eat with their knives,
it was necessary to abandon the idea Of
having steel knives TO- fear of their
accidentally gashing their faces. If
sharp steel knives were in general use
in America the streets would be full of
people with faces scared and scanned
Like those of the Heidelberg students.
The Americans drink little else but
water at table, and one cannot help
wondering how it is that the filter
seems to be an almost unknown institU-
5ion IN the land. Leave your glass of
water untouched on the table and IN
few minutes a thick sediment of mud
or sand will be visible at the bottom
Of it.
Down South it is still worse.
At Jacksonville I was waited upon
at table by an extremely Obliging
negro.
One day he brought me some water,
put ice in it, and discreetly withdrew
behind my chair.
1 took up the glass and infinitely in
spected its contents.
Epaminondas !" / cried.
"Dat's not my name, sab: I'm called
Charles. "
Charles. look at this water; there is
a snake in it.
Charles took the glass, looked in it,
and then, with a reassuring grin, an
nounced:
It's deal, sab
"That is comforting" said I, but it
may have left eggs, which viii come to
life by thousands inside me.
Charles was facetious, and was not to
be put out Of cOuntenance for such
trlfle. He took up the glass again re-
examined it, and replaced it on the
table
"Dere's no danger, sab; it's male, "
he said.
In almost al hotels south of Wash
ingtOn the walters are cOlored men.
The service is but poor. The negroes
are slOw-it is the guests who do the
waiting"
At DelmOnico's especially, and in the
principal hotels in New York, Boston,
Philadelphia, and Washington you can
dine admirably. In the smaller towns
you must be content with feeding.
But let US take our seats at the table
d'hOte of the best hotel in any second
rate town that you please in Pennsyl-
vania, Ohio, Indiana, or some other
State of the Union.
No printed menu. A young woman,
with an elaborate couture of curls, rolls,
and bangs, but no cap, approaches,
darts a look of contempt at you, and,
turning her back upon you, gables off
in one breath:
"CrOutaupOturb OtsshrimpsaucerOas
beefturkeycranbe rrysaucepOta o S to-
m t apple Z m incepievanilla-
cream.
Do not attempt to stop her; she is
wound up, and when she is started is
bound to go to the end. You must not
hope that she Will repeat the menu a
second time either. If you did not hear,
so much the worse for you. UnfOrtu-
nately the consequences are grave; it is
not one dish that you miss, it is the
whole dinner. You are obliged to order
all your repast at once, and the whole
is brought you from soup to cheese at
one time.
I was so i1-inspired one day as to
order some soup to begin with. The
waitress refused downright to bring me
anything more.
"That is all you ordered, she said to
me; "yOu do not suppose I can make
twenty journeys to the kitchen for
you.
I rose and sought the hOteIkeeper. I
made the humbIest apologies, pleaded
that L was a foreigner who had only
been in America a fortnight and was
not yet accustomed to the habits of the
Americans. Z promised sOlemnIy never
to transgress again in this way. Mine
host went to the young person vino was
at the head of the battalion of harpies
in the dining-room and interceded for
me with her. I had the happiness of
being forgiven, and was allowed to ap-
pease my hunger.
From that day forward as soon as
one of these witching damsels began
her incarnation I cried out
"Holdi Enough Bring it ali In.
Then L would eat the least distaste-
full of the messes and leave the rest. I
can assure you the hotel did not make
much profit out Of me.-1[asc O'ReEFS
Jonathan and HIS Continent. "
A Pen Portrait Of BOuIanger.
When I entered he was sitting at a
long table covered with books and pa