Mountain Home bulletin. (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1888-1889, 1889-01-12
SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM.
Colonel snort Instructs His Assistant How
to Run the "ClariOn.'

Colonel Snort Instructs His Assistant How ,
to Run the " Clarion"
The Texas Press Association recently
went on an excursion. or course. the
distinguished journalist, Colonel Bill
Snort, OF the Crosby County Clarion
md Farmers Vindicator, was one OF
the excursionists. He was obliged to
leave his journal in charge Of his as
sis,ant, Johnny Fizzletop. As Johnny
is young and fiighty Colonel Snort had
to give him copious and minute in
structions how to run the paper.
"Now, Johnny, want you 10 re-
member what tell you, and carry out
my instructions to the letter." said
Snort.
Colonel. you can rely on me; bu,
how about paying the printers on Sat
urday?"
Just tell them to wait until | get
back. They are used to that sort OF
thing"
but heard the foreman say he had
to have money for a new pair of pants
On Saturday or he would quit"
"Well, if he gets ugly you give him
| an order on some of the advertisers
who owe us money"
There isn't any clothing store ow-
ing us money"
mo; but Higgins, who has the tin
shop owes us four dollars in trade"
What good will that do the fore.
nan?"
Give him an order on the tin shop
or force-pump or something OF the
Kind. That will keep him in good hn-
NOR until get back"
Suppose Old Major Smith calls for
the rent?"
He amt going to call. Show him
the copy OF the editorial in my desk.
1t is headed "A Social Earthquake in
Crosbyville- Major Smith Implicated.
Tell him if he insists upon the rent you
will publish it,"
Suppose Miss Pegasus calls to see
about publishing her poem on 'Autum-
e nal Reveries?"
, Tell her that If she pays ir advance
e for seventy-five copies of the paper you
will publish 1t, md for two dollars
y more you will mention it favorably as u
e work OF genius in the editorial column.
e Don't do it under two dollars, Johnny.
"Any thing elseP"
don't expose the mayor and city
g council unless they give the city print,
Y .ng to the Argus."
;. "Ain't there anybody l can go fo'
J. while you are gomez want to have
's some fun myself"
go for the Car OF Russia. HI
e int likely to subscribe. Let up OF
& jsmarc,5 or old Zwcibeer, the saloon
. cper on the corner, will take hi
Il |. out"
: ANY thing else?'
d Yes. i've Andy Faulkner, OF tn
T. 'exas Central, and Gibbs, of the Sun
+ It route. favorable personal notices
y 30 sure and say Gibbs is genial pas
y enger agent. That's what alway
s. all him when want him to give mo
Co ass to get back home on"
u "'ll do it,"
~ y, And don't forget, If Banker Peter
: on returns from New York, to call al
te ention to him editorially. You nigh
u, ling in some poetry Home from
u Foreign Shore II you don't do 1t h
ST will order his business card out, and "
le need that ten dollars year."
al GLOW about my grub while you ar
~ gomez
-, ~ Bring out Pete Jackson of the Gro.
byville Hotel for Congress. and he wi
let you have all the meal tickets yo
need. II he don't reciprocate, publis
nd that item about his uncle being in tn
Illinois penitentiary."
cs THAT amt going to feed me-
Johnny" replied the Colonel. St
SO verely. cit don't seem to me that yo
have any talent for journalism.
IN. "Yes, but I've got to eat"
en- ..You ought to have established
en- free lunch route long ago. Well, if I'll
is proprietor of the Crosbyville Hotel II
fuses to ante up. call attention to Il
,s. Napoleonic mind and massive intelle'
rn of the proprietor Of the American Hous
en- across the way. He sets pretty ia
nd table"
III .Is that all, Colonelp'
ial Remember that If any money come
ch in you are to freeze on to it, Collie
ry all you can, but don't pay bills. lo
SIX are my agent while l am absent. b'
you are only an agent to take in, not
W. pay out money Understand?n
Ill "Yes, understand. What else?o
nd ''If any bottles Of wine from weddil
fu parties come in, turn 'em over to Il
ID printers If they show signs OF quittl
lid work. 1t will put them in good humo
and make them feel they are identifi'
I'D with the paper"
ed I'm do it,
em There is ham sandwich in n
as desk. It's yours, Johnny"
Thank you, Colonel"
he Don't forget to feed the bull pup
lie the back yard"
ng "Yes, I'll give him that sandwich,
in he can bite it"
.en That's right, Johnny. Look on d
les humorous side OF life. Goodbye, job
n.y." land Colonel Snort started on Il II
me TO catch the train. - Ieras Sinin9s.
too ~
A. To His Expectations.
ed ITO put this business on cash bas
lid Mr.. Peduncle. said the father of 4
,o,,-r la1y noco yo,, Shpnld mar