The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-05-20
CREAM OF THE PRESS.
CRISP SAYINGS
OF SMART WRITER'S.

mus-The samoan Conference southern
ProRress-Bombs for the C1ar-Pension-
Broker Tanner-The Bogus Nobieman'
TuF PARNELL COMMISSION SHOWS lTs
ANrNUs.-Has any one harbored any
dorbt that the Parnell Commission was
organized, not as a court OF justice, but
a. an engine Of unfair discrimination
against the Irish Nationalist leaders
II 90. that doubt will be dispelled by
the announcement, apparently official,
that the commissions report will not be
submitted to the House of Commons be-
fore February. 1890. That is to say, so
far a. the judicial declaration OF the
commission may be needed TO relieve Mr.
Parnell from the stigma which the Lon
don Tfmcs sirove TO fix upon him, the ex-
oneratiOn is TO be withheld for more than
a twelvemonth after the public exposure
OF the forgery Of the discriminating docu-
ments Moo York SIM.
THE SAMOAN CONFERENCE.-The
spirit Of the Berlin dispatches has sud
denly changed. From the harmonious
tones Of blissful agreement the music
turned into the jangle of discord. After
fetng the ambassadors and evincing
every evidence of tractable mood and
afIable concern for a speedy termination
Of the conference, Bismarck has at last
struck the keynote to the overture and
proposes 10 lead the orchestra. Sooner
or later this was inevitable, and in the
language Of the dispatch, il has pro-
duced a Glitch in the proceedings"
Prince Bismarck's demand seems to be
this He wants a prime minister appoint
ed by the three treaty powers TO hold
office for a term Of years. But the sur
prising part is that he insists that the
first appOintee shall be German. Thus
Is finally disclosed the full programme of
the imperial chancellor He is willing
TO grant everything but the one crucial
demand of taking the yoke Of the Ger
man Empire off the neck Of the Samoans.
Bqltimore Hfr0d
SOUTHERN PRoeRgss.-s outherners
rolled their sleeves up. The elegant
leisure and the ami were things Of the
past. Saw mills were built, cotton fac
tories were started. iron mines were dis
covered. and the new life of commercial
energy was in full blast.
Affairs have pr0spered with our neigh
hors. They are in a blaze of ambitious
excitement. All sorts Of projects are on
foot and in the keen eve there is look
of avarice which only dollars can satisfy.
They say they have as marketable timber
as Michigan. that they don't propose TO
allow the Lowell mills to absorb the
profits of the cotton crop, and lastly that
The Pennsylvania iron men will have to
keep on the keen jump or they will be
undersold by Alabama.
Altogether II is a very pretty fight
iust q handsome wrestling match be
tween two well-equipped competitors
10 makes one want to dye his hair in OF
der TO look young. for during the next
thirty or forty years it will be very pleas
ant sport TO sit on the fence and watch
heprogres, of eyents.-Nen Iork Herd'd
BONES FOR THE CzAR.-The discovery
of "a new dynamite plot in Russia IS
alarming both for its extent and the
character Of the people involved.
The Gar has heretofore been able TO
depend on his military officers. In only
a few cases have they been tainted with
this fatal fanaticism When he has had
occasion to travel his troops have safe
guarded the way.
But il now appears that the foalty OF
the army is by no means secure The
men who aforetime kept the dynamiiers
al BAY have themselves Joined the secret
society Of enemies. Hundreds of con
spiratOrs, with and without uniforms.
have been arrested, and will soon be on
the road to prison or Siberia.-Elcbange.
Pension BROKER TANNER.--The APP
for the payment of pensions
for the fiscal year was $sl ,1js, POO, which
was deemed ample, as it proved sufli-
cicnt the year before The ability of
Tanner, however TO waste
money was not understood then. There
IS only 100000 of the appropriation
left now. whereas the demands ON the
Treasury before the end Of June are es-
timated at between $4,000 900 and s.
100000 Commissioner Tanner will,
therefore. have the pleasure of asking
Congress TO pass a deficiency pensions
bill But the Corporal has only been in
Office about three months. Wait until
he has had his hands i'm the Treasury for
a year, anL he will show as what he can
do-N !. Sur.
The Boots NOBLEMAN.-lO our true,
eiietc, titled Briton, with his plaid suit,
heavy intellect, bright monocle and in
cilable rudeness. is always a welcome
visitor even TO those naughty fire-sides
where German baTOns are superciliOusly
scanned, French dukes are no more than
tolerated, unless famOuslv wicked and
Italian counts are tabOOed altogether.
Sporadic cases of bogus lord used 10 be
not infreQuent some years ago, before a
course of Burke and Nebrctt was made
an essential of polite education
and before Inspector Byrnes had
so perfect phOtOgraph-inter
change established with Scotland Yard.
But long course of social upheavals
and financial earthquakes at last opened
the ewes of the bewildered tuft-huntcrs
TO the fact that the American gull had
begun TO attract attention among the
Wallets of European noblemen,
and credentials got TO be so much in de
mand when a titled parsonage appeared,
rs il were, in our midst, that the game
developed difficulties which made il
hardly worth the candle.
The recent epidemic Of spurious
grandec. therefore, fell upon a surprised
and panied community. That even the
proudest of our Clubs have issued their
cards of courtesy toa common hotel-beat /
and impecunious swinder merely be- /
cause he called himself the brother Of
British nobleman is as
horrifying as it is true Two other de- /
fuel to the agony, and /