Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-08
WHYDON'THEMARRY?
Some Reasons Given by Young Men
Of To-Day for Not Marrying.
BENEDICT CHAMBERS VS. WEDLOCK.
Mrs. Frank Leslie on the Marital State and
Its Happiness.
THE ESSENTIALLY OF MARRIAGE
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straws show which way the wind blows,
and q quiet little addition to the building
interests of New York especially, and other
cities in their degree, shows the growth of q
new phase of our American life, likely to
make large mark upon the future.
Benedict Chambers is q favorite name for
these new edifces, and that of course means
that they are intended for bachelors quar-
ters, although in passing let US wonder, as
often do, why Benedict, who is chiefly
famous because he did marry, and calls
himself Benedict the married man, !" should
be chosen as the type Of resolved and settled
celibacy.
Until lately, a young unmarried man was
considered and accommodated as a sort OF
bird of passage; he had tiny room in his
fathers house, or be boarded somewhere, or
he lived at hotel, or he lodged in onehouse
and ate in another or at cafe; he was on
his promotion; be was not living, but stay
ing; he was the half of a pair of scissors. ne
was transitional formation, not worth plac-
ing or formulating very accurately.
If he hung long on hand, people began to
say, "Why doesn't he marry? He surely
has salary enough, hasn't he ?"
he became sort of phenomenon, was called
ian old bachelor" ridiculed, offered in jest
to each other by merry girls, and made the
subject of comic songs, stories and jests. 1t
was in those days, not so long gone BY,
either, a matter of course that q young
mans one idea of contented personal life
was to marry nice girl, set up home
where he snould be lord and master, and
accept with equanfmity the little RESPONSE
bilities likely to accrue.
SINGLE sELFIsHNEss.
But the luxurious and carefully planned
Benedict Chambers do not accord with this
idea. They are evidently intended for men
who already have secured a sufficient in
come for modest marriage, but who do not
intend to spend their money in that way;
for men who say of two or three or five thou
sand a year as the gourmand did of the
eoose-that it was an inconvenient roast, be-
ing little too much for one, but not enough
for two.
These gentlemen consider that a pretty
suite of rooms where they may smoke as
much as they choose, stay up until they
wish to go to bed, have guests when they
like. or play hermit if they prefer, have the
morning coffee and roll served at their bed
side. and lunch and dine at Delmonico's, is
better than to establish partnership house.
hold, where the domestic portion is more
ant TO rule than the one whose business
takes him away for most Of his waking
hours.
From purely selfish point of view prob
ably Benedict judges wisely. He can be more
comfortable, he can be more independent, he
can escape a good deal of annoyance and
perplexity, but then-he can't be married
And placing Benedict Chambers in one
scale, and married life in the other, which
has solid gold enough in its composition to
bear down the scales?
Is marriage an essential of the happiness
of life?
TIMES HAVE CHANGED.
Fifty years ago. as ] have just intimated,
no such question could have been seriously
asked or answered. It was q matter of
lust as soone as they had the means,
and, to Judge from what was written in that
day, and from the ingrained prejudices of
the survivors of that day, it was the young
men who were eager to be married as
speedily as possible, and the young women
who were urged to set aside their coy scru-
Piles and consent to an early day.
What has changed this healthy, natural,
patriarchaI order of events? Why do men
now take counsel with themselves and each
other, and so often conclude that chambers
are preferable to dulce domum? and why
do they and ill-natured women so often
speak Of girls trying to marry, angling for
husbands, and all the rest of it?
We are often told by the bachelors them
selves that the march of luxury has out
stripped the march of incomes; that q man
cannot now start in life as his father did.
but is expected to begin where he left of.
They say that the dowerless daughter of a
man living up to big income expects to go
from her fathers house to one Just as
fashionably situated, just as well furnished
and served, and to continue without break
the life to which she has been accustomed.
"And a fellow Of 25 doesn't ordinarily
have an income rising SIC. 900 year. said
one discontented bachelor to whom was
giving sensible advice.
But, taking all ones friends together, do
the married men seem absolutely happier
than the bachelors, even If they have means
large enough, or wife economical enough,
to make marriage possible?
ANXIOUS MARRIED MEN.
am inclined to think they are not. Mar
ried men, as a rule, have a speculative, ab-
sent-minded expression upon their faces, as
if they were mutely pondering over some
intricate domestic or commercial affair.
They generally have an air OF arriere PEN
see, SO to speak, and it is not, to my mind,
the fullest expression ofhappiness the human
face can wear.
The bachelor face, on the other hand, has
its own handwriting of i'll success Itis apt
to wear a bored expression; look Of Is life
worth the living? or else cynical indiffer-
ence to this and every other question outside
Of his own material comforts, which is very
painful to read upon young man.
An unmarried man grows selfish, narrow
and material almost as a matter Of course,
for life in its early days possesses an elias
ticity like what the medical men tell us be-
longs to the human stomach. If one eats
good deal and varied food, the stomach en-
braces and assimilates it,all; if one eats too
little, and that only Of concentrated food,
the stomach contracts, grows rigid and is no
longer capable of more than the most lin
tied service.
Moral: Put good deal into your life,
and your life will be able to make good use
of it. and to nourish the inner man. the un-
seen and immortal Ego, to the best advant-
age.
We cannot supersede nature, although we
do try very ardently and obstinately to do
so.
Men and women were intended for each
other; thew were intended to marry and to
become parents. The human race is to be
carried on, and the waste places of the
globe are vet to be peopled; and this great
sweep of the circle Of infnitv is not to be
clipped out and thrown aside by the archi-
tects of Benedict Chambers. Perhaps the
gilded youth of New York, London, Paris