Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-14
STUDIED.

What are the great astronomers? The stars, because they have studded the heavens for ages.-Boston Beacon.
 He-''If you will be mine, Louisa, will lead you through life like an angel" She ssThat is with nothing to eat and nothing to wear No, thank you."-Fliegende Blat. ter.
 Merritt-'It's pity Harrison isn't Spir- itualist." Giles-"How soa" Merritt-"Be- cause he wouldn't have so much trouble get- ting the right man in his cabinet. "-New York Sun.
 Caller Cat house in Indianapolis)-'1 should like to see Gen. Harrison" Servant (reading card)-"J. Filkins Jones, Mind Reader" (Emphatically) You can't see the general, sir."-Chicago Tribune.
 "Whet will be the end of the human race? inquired the orator, and one fellow in the audience remarked that if cremation contin-
 ued to grow in popularity the race would end
 in a dead heat.-Terra Haute Express.
 Clerk Calling boy)-"Cash!" Country
 man-"Great turnips. can't you give me
 time to get my pocketbook outa don't want no credit, I don't! I'm going to pay you cash soon as I can get at itr"-Exchange. Muttonhedde is accosted by Smith. 'sWell, chappie, you know the old adage about a green Christmas making @ fat church-yard?'
 "Yes, but the green doctor makes fatter one, dear boy. Truth. Mistress-"I am so sorry your brother is l i'll. What does the telegram say?" Miss O'Hoolihan-''Not much, mum. But it's the tilygram that makes me fear he's dyin'. | His hand writin' is that changed I'd never know it at all, at all. ."-Pittsburg Bullentin. Mir Croesus (wearily)-Five hundred dol steep just after those other bills of yourss ~
 Mrs. Croesus (swee:ly)-Ah, but this is ] for charity, my dear. I had to wear ii I at the charity ball, you know.-Town Top
 ics.
 "We are all worms,'' exclaimed the preach CT in his sermon. And little Bobby who was | following the discourse attentively, whis- ! reason why the great big fish swallowed Jonah, isn't it, mamma?-New York Tri- bune.
 A Kingston dentist says he had an odd ex- perience the other day. A man came into | his office and told him he wanted tooth I pulled After he had been seated in the dentists chair he said: "Now, don't pull it all at once pull it little, then ease up on it, and punish the pesky thing, punish it, 1t has been punishing me for a month. ."-Kingston Freeman.
 Clergyman (repeating his text with empha- sis) But what went ye out for to see? MT. Rambo (asleep in back seat, waking up | with a jerk Man, m dear.-Chicago Fri ! bune.
 She-Isn't Mir. Ruthboy generous to 8 l faulta
 | He-Yes, to several of them-if you mean | his own.-Burlington Free Press. Young man (con6dentially)-" want to ! see some of your solitaire rings" Jeweler-
 Engagement rings, I suppose" Young man-"Y yes, sir.n Jeweler-"Here's just
 the thing you want, Alaska stone. rolled
 plate, and warranted for year." Young | man-''But I want 8 real stone." Jeweler-
 'sOf course. As was going to say, we give
 one of the plated rings along with each real
 stone. They are exact duplicates. If the | engagement is success it is very easy to | substitute the real for the imitation. "-Terre Haute Express.
 | The plumber came down like wolf on the fold, And his pockets were laden with solder and gold; Nine hours and half he made love to the cook, And sixty five dollars were charged on his book. !