davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1889-06-28
HUMOROUS.

The coal dealer some times by
nis'as.c. gives the car. driver weigh
Washington Critic
Can girl be called a rnarna-e Be-
cause she requires zn arma-urc 10 com
plete the circtiiis- Conranr-
speaking Of AL cmharrAssrnerr 81
riches. the man who held I've acs-s
ought to be able to ofer some valuable
remarks Merchant Traveller
Jacques The girls. I fear. would
not answer well Al a political convex
tion.- Miss D---why no-s- Jaraues
We'll. for instance when the
Chairman asks: Are yor ready for the
question: Time
-Governor-.-l You've been running
ahead o. your allowance. Jack
Jack - knox H. dad. I've ben
hoping for long time that the ALLOW
ance would strengthen up enough 10
orertake NE. ~ T. Ledger
Tho names Of the defendants Of
the Washington family we're published
the other day. and since then great
many people have probably Ceased 10
wonder why Washington j. cal.ed the
father Of his country sarannah
News
Little Dick What does money
talks mean Biz >ister--l don;
KNOW Big brother---Ir means.
Dick. that any lankileAd with cash in
the bank can come here and i; al the
evening without saying = word ana
yet your sister finds him an interest,"
ing convcrsationali-t- Philadslphia
Record.
How do you account FOR Gerrres
not coming for The past three day-g
asked fond mamma. ~ho HAD a-p.ra-
tions for millionaire &on-in-laH-
Oh. he isn't coming any more At
ALL why my daughter you didn't
throw such chance orerbuaris"
..No. mamma. no: but Georges father
j. bankrupt. You are dear GOOD
girl" Hartford Post
dear John wrote his wife Il
am sorry TO say Willie fell out 81 =
swing yesterday and disabled himself
He will not BE- able 20 nse his arms for
a monfh-so the doctor says lie i
getting along all right bat 1t makes
him restless TO stay indoors Nhen
you return from the city please bring
him something he can amn-e himself
with ..Nillie. said the father
kindly. a. be pafted the little bov com
soiingly on The head the next DAY. II
have brought you that drum prone
i-ed you year or THO ago you should
have some time"
Grieronsly shocked :. Grind
stone. i that the morning paper
you're readinry' --Ies It's full a
that divorce case tell yor- Kill
jordan. there ought 10 he d lar against
publishing such stnf- N 80 thcre
ought And any man that ~ill read il
betrays q most deprarci taste. When
you are done nth the paper. Grind
ttono. I'll just look >; il = momcnt-"
1T j. simply outrageous Hor any
man how any man-ca7-- Cbe-
comes deeply ab-orbesi)- GWaiting
ncrrou-iy for al.rs.t four seconds
.-Sccms 10 me Grs.1dsione- IL taking
you q blame long time 10 read THAI
paper. Chicago Tribune
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1889-06-28

Ii i estimated by the Treasury De-
partment that at the present rate OF
payments the bill for pensions for the
fiscal year will amount 70 over hun
dred millions II this rate ofincrease
would he maintained for the next ten
years the disbursements for pensions
at the end or that time would be about
s2s.D. 900. 600.
The receipts from customs taxes last
year amounted TO about 1919. O00. 600
and from internal revenue to about
Si1l. 1J1. vDO-a total OF $343. 900. 900.
II the disbursements for general pur-
poses and these do not include those
for the reduction Of the public debt
should not increase at all In the
next decade and the present
rate Of increase in the disbursc-
ment- for pensions should be main
tanned. there would be a call for $70.-
000. 900 more than the present revenue
atI0rss. II naturally follows that II
the expenditures for pensions increase
at such pace as that set BY the new
commissioner there must be no cutting
down or the revenue. This seems a
strange statement in view OF the state
mcnts that have been made concerns
Ing the injurious existence Of the cur
pluA
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1889-06-28

NoyTzEAL- Can. June l-.--f.lst nigh.
the ups-fting o. = coai-o lamp caused
blaze covering an area ~ fifteen acres
belonging u the Bushnell Oh Refinery al
Mile Eui. The work are situated along
side ~ the Canadian Pacific raslrraI
track. and large Number y. freight cAss
were soon burned Surrounding tho
works ar many sm1N rOucs into which
'h~ blazing oil ran int arsl formed 4
number ~ lakes ~ fire. Had not the
spread ~ the IRE been stopped in =
certain direction-suliy tho miles os track,
together with the CanaiiAa Pacific sfs-
tion and other brilding. ~vnli have been
destroyed One FIRE j. SELL blaz.ag. The
loss viii probably reach s3o.00.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1889-06-28
SWEPT ~ FLOOD.

Cnsonfowr. Kss.- ON the Wichita 4 w~sf-
ern Railroad. Reported ~ Have B-~n
swept Away ~ Saturday ~ighf'~ storm
six Siv~s >att 10 Have E~~n Lost
FoRr SCOTT. Kan. June Ia report
vas received here last evening 70 the FL
feet that TniontOwn. on the Wichita s.
Western railroad hal been swept away
by storm Saturday night aud that two
women and four children hal been
drowned Tni0nf0wn. which j. q place
OF six hundred Inhabitants. i in the
midst % thick'y--ettlei country. and is
Is feared that the loss o. lie Is even
heavier than reported
As the wires are down for fffeen miles
on either side, n0shing definite can BE- Sc
cured The storm stracx the western
part of Bourbon County late AZ night
coming from the west. where II had
PLAYED great havoc. Al Augusta Il as
snmed the forum ~ clout-bnrst. and
thcugl every thiuy possible thas been
done % obtain details by - railroads,
all Is uncertain a. pre-ent.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1889-06-28

OTTAWA. Ont. June 1s.--s r. webb. %
Newminster. p. G.. who i ia this city.
says ~ has Information saying that an
amherst sndin1 hns been arrived AZ BE-
tween EaTiand and the United States. in
nccerla1xe Nth which ne seizures ~
British vessels will D. made in Behrine
Sea this season An effort will BE- made
90 hold an International conference A.
soon - the existing contract nth the
Alaska Fur Company expires FOR the
purpose of taking sters 70 jointly pro-
tect the sesl-fur fisheries there A. we'll a.
IL the south Pacific Islands Tee Unifed
States. Dir. Webb further says. has IN.
t01bteliy superior ri.Lts-
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1889-06-28

Martin Barke. Ali.- Dei2nr. Alta Cooper.
Arre~te.i IN Winnipeg Man. >u~pt-
escn Of Being on< ~ the william Bro-
shsr.-H~ Will Resist Extr sdirs son to the
Better Fad
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1889-06-28
ON THE BEACH.

The United states sch oi->hip Con&teIIa-
tion on the Reach Near cape Henry
nth Over Three Hundred People On
Board Among Them One Hundred and
Thirty Cadets
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19
Something New,

A new and very effective thing which is
taking hold on the market is q valuable dis
covery made known through the Charles A.
Vogeler Co., Baltimore. Md, proprietors OF
the renowned st. Jacobs Oil, and known as
Diamond Vera-Cura, for Dyspepsia. posi-
tive cure for Indigestion and all stomach
troubles arising thsrefrom. If not found in
tho stock of druggist or dealer. it will be sent
by mail on receipt of % cents q boxes
$1.0O) in stamps. Sample sent on receipt of
two-cent stamp. It has been found on trial to
be specific for sour stomach, heartburn, nau-
sea, giddiness, constipation, nervousness and
low spirits, and it is spoken of and recon-
mended by hundreds who have used it and
have found lasting benefits.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19
A Tremondous senaatiou

would have been created one hundred years
ago BY the sight of one Of our modefn ex-
press trains whizzing along at the rate Of
sixty miles an hour. Just think how ON
grandfathers would have stared at such q
spectaclel Ittakes good deal 70 astonish
people nowadays, but some of the marvel
Gus cures of consumption wrought by DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, have
created widespread amazement. Consump-
ton is at last acknowledged durable. The
"Golden Medical Discovery" is the only
known remedy for it. If taken at the right
time-whioh, bear in mind, is not when the
lungs are nearly gone-it will go right ia
the seat Of the disease and accomplish its
work as nothing else in the world can.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

A Georgia negro who breaches for iv-
ING, recently selected this text: "Be ye
therefore wise az serpents and harmless as
doves" and then began: "Well, bredderin,
in order that we may all know what we are
talkin' about, will jes drop the word SER
pent and say snakes. You has all seen q
snake when he didn't want to hear nothing.
He jes puts one ear right down on de
ground, and sticks his tail in de oder"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

Asabout four times as many bushels OF
sweet potatoes can be raised on an acre
as corn, their great value as a pork
producer is obvious. Both the vines and
tubers are greatly relished by hogs and cattle
and for the latter, few things are better for
the increase of rich milk and butter. Horses,
too, are very fond of sweet potatoes, and
when fed in moderate quantities latter wash
ing the dirt of, of course) they are highly
nutritious. IF fed too freely at first they are
liable to produce collie,
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

Ntwtoa Rep1blican: ~ Ber1fl
EGhuroh = REt3s.eon ~ do11eaeed ~
emily. Notwithstanding H. unfavsr-
sbIs weather fully 40 persons vsrs
present. The program for tbs occasion,
though somewhat prolonged, was
listened 10 with great Interest," Ths
choir, under the direction Of Mr.. Myeu,
had proposed number Of beautiful and
appropriate selections which were wall
rendered. From the reports Of the
various committees it was asoertained
that for the building snd furniture entire
there was q deficit Of but $50. Surely
the Baptist people Of Patterson and
vicinity are to be congratulated upon
the success Of their enterprise.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19
sGivs HIN - ana Let Kim o.sss."

0avs HIN - ana Let Kim 0usss."
Moouce heard . man complain Of feeling
oaoy and wondered what allied him. Ahu-
lot him guese." ii vas = cuftine sstire on
eome ooctof., who don't always guess right.
!o9 need not guess what ais you when your
Ioeo cont digest, when your bowels and
e09meco are inactive. and when your hsac
scnSe every day, and you arc languid and
eesuy fangued. You are bilious. and Dr..
F1erce's Pleasant Purgative Pellets VIII
prlne yo1 out ell right. small, sugar-coated.
easy to take. OF druggists.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

There are some men who cannot compre-
bend that very frequently in life the game is
not worth the candle. Ben jackson was one
of them. ''That makes tho tenth match you
have struck. What are you looking for?"
asked his roommate one evening, as Ben
was striking q match and looking under the
table. II dropped match, and am try
ing to find it." replied Ben.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

'Here, mein frient, is your change. Eight
tollars from SO leaves 81. Much obliged,
und hope" Customer-"Eh! wha- see
here! You are charging me 81 each for
those shirts. "Yah. Das is recht." "But
exactly the same style of shirt in the win
dow is marked so cents" Mine frient, q
fine shentleman like you would not wear dose
shirts in dot window. Dose are paper shirts. ~
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

Waiter: 81 can't satisfy that guest no
how. He says the steak don't taste right
vet" Cook-"Where's he 'FRONT.'" 'From
the west" "And this is western beef" 81
told him so, but he said it didn't taste right,
somehow ooh, see! He's used 70 steak
cooked over soft coal fire. Hold It over
that lamp chimney awhile"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

Capital Commonwealth: The Guild
house at Topeka, was opened with q
sermon BY Bishop Thomas. After
preaching Bishop Vail made very good
address, speaking OF the hall in very
complimentary terms, and also Of the
ladies who had so Increasingly lsbored
in all kinds Of church work and who had
done 30 we'll in furnishing the Guild
house. The other clergymen officiating
were Rev. Mr.. Mcintyre, and Rsv. Mr..
Ssyer, late Of Maine. There was splen-
did music on the occasion, furnished by
the choir. o..
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

$50 this is where congress sits?" said a
travelling man who was going through the
United States capitol for the first time.
eyes," was the reply, ''you want to take off
your hat when you come in here" Take off
my hat-what for?" Out of respect to our
congressman and the great work they are
doing" What great work did they do last
session." "Why, -er. Why they ad-
journed." $50 they did," said the traveller,
unoovering his head; $50 they did"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

Judkins -"Hang it, Isaacs, I can't pay
that bill to-day. Your memory's too good.
I'd have forgotten such little thing long
ago." Isaacs-"Ak, Judkins, if your credit
was as good as my memory, I'd have for
gotten It long ago."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

Miggs-"What has become OF little Dolly
Footlite, who used to be such a fascinating
soubrette?" WiQes-'She got too fat 70!
soubrette parts. It's pity, too. She bid
fair at one time to become q star" Miggs
-"And instead of that only became little
m eatier."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19
"Rad Been worried Eighteen Years."

"Rad Been Worried Eighteen Years.
It should have read married" but the
proof-reader observed that it amounted to
about the same thing, and 80 did not draw
his blue pencil through tho error. Unfortu-
nately there was considerable truth IN his
observation. Thousands OF husoanae are
constantly worried almost to despair by the
ill-health that afflicts their wives. and
often robs life of comfort and happiness.
There is but one safe and sure way to change
all this for the better. The ladies should use
DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

Topeka journal: It is rather sur
prising that the only murders that have
taken place in Shawnee county in the
last two years have taken place in the
country. A murder has not occurred in
Topeka for over two years. The theory
that cities are the centers Of crime seems
to find q refutation here.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

e .Ns. - o. T. erulAsse ouas q slelh
~! - q Mp1yne IS no equal 4 -
r ss:sS ~ pain svsEy tnA PHee
-. ~ 49, ziddls out: WHY was my baby'l
n...'.sssa sz q Group like this paragraph
~ -. voey shoEt and ended with
up. Psiee S oenfS'
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

Father (taking down the switch) "You
know that it causes me great deal of pain to
punish You, but" Willie (edging toward
the door, s.Father, if were to cause you
unnecessary pain, my conscience would tor
ture me for year."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

| Sudden Changes of Weather cause Throat
Diseases. Their 9 is no more effectual remedy
for Coughs, Colds, ETC., than BRowN's BRoN-
oHrAL TRoCHEs. Sold only in bores. Price
Naufa
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

We call your attention to the seed advertise
ment Of 81. w. Buckbee, Rockford, Ill. If
you intend to purchase seeds, plants, etc.,
you will find this first class, reliable house.
Illustrated catalogue mailed free, upon ap-
plication.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

The vreng proposition: 'sWell, my boy, -
he asked cheerf1lly 1t tho breakfast table
The morning after CholIy had taken the inn
portant leap, allow did things go last even-
ing; did she smile ON your pFoposal?' mo. -
said Cholly, family, pushing sway . break
fast roll, sasho smiled q Il. -
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

An open question: Governess-"Nsme
the Vieest man that ever lived. Little Dick
-s:Solomon." Governess- Correct; name
the wisest woman" Little Dick CATER med.
itation) 'sWell, il I say you. ma will get
mad, and if say ma, you will get mad"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

M1lieent-'.Poor Harry! He i so melan
choly. I am afraid there b something on hi
mind" Laura-'I wouldn't worry. Il can
not be much"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

Creeds ON trial: Little Dot-"Our minis
ter prays ever 80 much louder than yours
does" Little Bub-"I don't care if he does.
Our minister jumps the highest when he
breaches. SO there, now"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

efe ho9s are bound to tsll ON man. !"
: .;s ~ Gxonanga Bat not half 90 surely q
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

A little girl WAS asked By an artist 10 de
hne drawing. '.Oh, abe replied. ssirsvins
il thinkmg, and than marking around ~
Think =
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

An intoxicated Judge makes a regular
bench show Of himself.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

The excise officers should investigate the
Keely motor, for it's q secret still.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

Il was q pug with q skyward tendency.
First it was too hot in the car for IL, then il
was too cold. Windows were raised aod
lowered, and at last q gentleman who sat
near was requested 10 move into the next
car. Certainly, madam" he said with the
sauvity Of q travelled American toward de-
fenaeless women With pugs, ''but may ! en-
quire Why you wish me to eo?'' "Yes, sir;
Tootsey Il sensitive TO cold, and heard you
remark that you had . draft in your pocket. "
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

When Baby was sick, VIC gave her Casscria,
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castorie,
when shs had Children, she gave them Cassoria,
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

II afaictsd With sors eyes, uee Dr.. Isaae
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell Il. 81
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19
a Radical Cure for Epileptie Fits.

70 ~ xasso-Pleass inform your readers tha
have positive remedy for the above name
disease which warrant to cure the worst Casa
Ga strong 3 my faith in the virtues Of this md
cine that I Vim send fres sample bottle an
valuable treatioe to any sufferer Who will CIV
me his p. q. and Expires address. Ny remed
has cured thousands Of hopelsaB cases.
4 G. ROOT. n. c. 1Ss Ped 81, New Yoek.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

sTor heavens sake, give me bottle Of
vhisky." exclaimed drummer rushing into
the PRINCIPAL drug store Of Q prohibition
Eve can't sell any, without physicisn's
prescription, !" said the clerk, unless it's .
very urgent case"
San night, then; out with the stun. This
h the most urgent case you ever saw"
ssWhatss tho matter-an accident ON tho
roadr' inquired The clerk
ssNo," was The reply. I'm Q drummer
for religious book house and haven't had
. drink I'll day."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

productione are dangerous to the interests Of
the people, and should be prohibited under the
lions, az especially obnoxious aud destructive to
the ipterests of ali classes, 1.-THE trust or com.
bination OF the packing houses to drive ont OF
osffle msrkets az veil q the supply and prices
Of dressed meats."
No subject that has engaged the attsntion OF
~, pest 10 OF such vital impmtancs to an
olaseee OF the people e il tint of suppeeosing
the 90 called trusts or combinations OF cap.
Stal 10 control tho market supplies and price q
IT, country. The real purpose ana enecs OF
fhsss COZ binations. no metoer vhat thy may
pRe1snd, i, on the one hand. to 6x tbs buying
m3ce Of raw products without reference 70 ne
Ia nd on the other to fx The aslling price Of
u principal product without reSeCence TO the
riGAtn or interests Of tho consumee and tne
So1petitive proper ties and industries are de-
ofxo5sd, With ruthless systsm. until the public
= g tAe mercy Of the manAgere.
srcsniSins indnstTiss q this Htata. Including
osvsral inseed oil millA plnster paris voek.
I'd cnckec factories, have ben WaneonH
Ss@Sss Of - communities in which thsy azs
G1Sd 81 then. Reosntly ths packing houses have
S:s%sSs .,s ssss" p i. e e eas o g s
01lfe. azd thu effort. suecessful N some q our
13as dtovns. has failed In othees only b.
6laee ct The hIm actaon OF local anSnGrsass
dhoaA atcees b enacted to prevent and punish
3ohhafions organissd or intsnded 10 regulate
e I sSs i.s ssS S g es sos
Syfolssion Of thees lave should involve tnpEts-
oananf = veil - he~vy fnes. Lawn ehoold also
Honactsd oooferring upon me mInlcapal q
,s,siiv to protect their local indns::
= ssain.t The r.D.eioEs e. a ssssd .s e
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-19

sfafitnde 10 the people Of Kaneas. who havo not
only honoeod mo With two eaectapoa but -.
tnined Ne with consfancy = unnnnng .
Wao Gon1fo0D.
Iviah. also. to aeknowledes tie stsod6a.e md
helpfui Support given M b. tie 6e1es oahco91
nd heods q departments. during n 20 y"o.
more COMPETENT and fnixhful olicsEs-
Thst Kansss may continue TO grow md pros
rer.thas her citixens may enjoy, tor ceofur1eo q
oome, the blessines Of vise and 5uss -. veo;
t1sf m :skorS eentlemen. Of ths Legielef1xA
NAV s. not only pIsasant 10 ron hat be1s4etd Z!
those yoo rspressnk. l. ny ssrvs1s n .n -
Exsoativs Ofiee, Topsks, Kan-s Jn- 8 1eeD.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1889-02-08
A YOUNG LADY's BALL GOWN.

In the cut is shown unique fall gown for
a young lady. 1t is of gray blue Bengaline,
wrought with silver; the low bodice and
killed panel in either Grape or net, the whole
deliberately trimmed with turquois blue
satin ribbon shot with silver. Bows on the
shoulders
Black continues to be worn for balls. A
gown seen recently had black crepe lisse
front, embroidered all over with tiny flow
ers. Fancy gauzes are much worn over silk
gowns.
A new class of ball gown was draped over
white Sicilienne, made with baby bodice, a
sash crossing it from the side and fastening
in careless bow, which had ends reach
ing to the hem of the skirt. Pink
is a fashionable shade A gown
in this tone had rosette ruche
round the hem, over which falls skirt Of
mousseline de sole, hemmed and covered all
over with tufts of moss and gold thread,
which resembles at a distance fight of bees
The skirts in all these cases touch the ground,
while dinner dresses are made long. Very
beautiful embroidery is introduced on to the
gowns worn by married women at balls
These are marked contrast to the simplicity
of those dresses Of crepe lisse worn by young
girls, with bodices and skirt very fat back
and front, and tied with wide sash.