The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1889-02-19
BABY'S GRIEVANCES.
Some OF the Trials and Tribulations Of Lit.
tie Tommy Cute.


Tommy Cute. aged one. having suf-
fered as long he can stand it, writes to
us in order that his grievances. being
known to the public. may Immediately
be cured.
j object, he says. in the first place.
to being forced to adopt Farmer Jones'
brindle COW for foster mother.
object, also, to the existence of a
like relationship between myself and
the condensed milk factory or the corn
starch mill.
IObject to having my stomach stuffed
as remedy for a mosquito bite on my
little toe or a nasty pin in my back.
fObject TO personating a churn.
prefer to take my butter after the
churning process is completed.
object TO being kissed by all the
women. old and young. who come near
me. Iprefer TO wait few years, or
at least until shall be old enough to
make my own selections.
| object to having people ask about
my age. 1t Is an impertinence. Be
sides, grown people sometimes remem-
Der. and of ages they are especially
apt in keeping a record.
object TO having To 90 hungry I'M
til company is served. For my part ]
don't see what people want company
for Company is nuisance. Mamma
and papa have said 80 hundreds Of
times in my hearing.
object to being Obliged 10 go about
with my neck and arms bare. When
it is hot the flies and mosquitoes bother
me awfully, and when the air is chilly
j fee AZ though | were freezing to
death.
object, when go out to ride in my
perambulator. to having myself left
alone in the sun while my maid sports
with that lOng-lcgged chap with the
yellow mustache and ready-made
clothing.
object to being sent tn bed when j
am not sleepy. and 20 having a nasty
rubber tube stuck into my mouth ev-
cry time turn over in the night.
object To having strangers make
faces ut me. They rive me an awful
start sometimes when they think they
are amusing me.
object to being spoken to by peo-
pie with whom | am not acquainted.
Why don't they wait for an introduce
ton?
| object TO being the only child in
the family. It's awtully lonesome not
to have any brothers or sisters. wish
l had been born when it was fashiOna-
bic to have large families.
object To being called Tom, just
because my papa was called Tom when
he was a boy. Because his papa gave
him name he didn't like was no rea-
son for giving me a name detest. L
should think a boy ought to be allowed
to choose his own name.
| object TO wearing dresses and hav-
ing my hair curled. Half the folks
think I'm girl.
j object to being bOssed by woman.
A man ought to be his own master. I'm
just sick of petticoat government.
Iobject to being taught baby talk.
What good does it do me? After have
become proficient in it have to go to
work and unlearn it and learn grown
folks language. Why don't they teach
me that in the first place?
i object to having folks bore me with
their silly stories which have heard
so many times that they are veritable
chestnuts.
| object to having people humbug
me all the time. They tell me what |
should do and what | should not do I
notice they are not given to taking
their own medicine. What ounces
they are not TO know that learn more
from what | see than from what they
tell me.
There's lots of other things to which
i object. but this will do for a starter.
-BostOn Transcript