Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1889-11-15


"All right, Snort. III keep quie
about II. IN not give you away, bu
you ought to drop him and 20 into
some legitimate business" replied
Doozenbury, who leans toward tht
Democracy.
"Doozy,l want you to do me .
favor"
"Snort, III make any sacrifices f. I
you, except don't want you to bring
Harrison around here aud try and
Introduce him TO me. draw the
line at Iudians Presidents"
"You know, DocZy, one of my du-
ties Ia TO cheer up Harrison when he
has the blues, and now that Dave
IIill has been sneeriug at Cleveland
aud making him unpopular, Ben
feels pretty bad"
$50 Cleveland is the source Of Ben,
depression ?"
"Yes, Ben Is not like the sky. II
Is most cheerful when 1t 10 bluest. II
is not that way with HARRISON"
"You ought to keep him out OF the
Blue Room"
"That wouldn't help him. What
he needs is some sort of an ovation
lie hasn't heard anybody say 'Hur-
rah for Harrisonp In a long time
now"
"Well, Snort, if I can help you In
getting up some bogus Harrison en-
ihusiasm, Ill DO II for your sake"
"You can. A feature OF your min
strel show is trick phonogrsph,
from which you grind out sayings OF
distinguished men,"
"Well, what of thst2"
an blscken my face and work
that phonograph. I'll say: Listen
to tho voice Of that pure patriot,
Benjamin Harrison Then I'll grind
out something about civil service
reform. simultaneously large por-
trait OF Harri>on will appear on the
stage, the band will strike up, Hail
TO the Chief" The vast audience
will rise as one man, and the cheers
for Harrison will he desfening.
Then the old man will sml.e once
more like florida alligator"
"I'm not so sure OF that" replied
Doozenbury. "At indianapolis /
got OF something favorable 10 Har-
rlson, aud In consequence we lost so
much money that the end men had
70 sell their very bones to raise money
10 pay their board bills. II I had
said anything more In favor OF IIar-
rison, might now be hunting for
rail splinters In my legs and smelling
of tar. That's the sort of popular
idol Harrison is where they know
him. That's why / dcspise him"
"But, DOGGY, it's different In Wash
ington."
am not going 10 take any foolish
chances, but you can cay what you
please in favor of Harrison on my
phonogrsph."
The National Theatre was crowded.
In box sat tho entire Blaine tribe,
which struck me as q little peculiar.
The photograph speciality was the
last thing on the programme. Dooz-
enbury sang = touching ballad that
brought tears TO many eyes. 1t was
entitled 20, where did Mother Hide
the Piep"
Then came out and smiled on the
audience. / have not snickered
since, Johnny. said:
"Ladies and genermans, dis am
Edison's miraculous phonograph,
what reproduces the human voice. /
simply turns de crank, and you will
hear de words OBJ atgreat statesman
and pure patriot"
"Blaine | Blaine James G. BlaineP
rnared about half the audience, while
the rest cheered for Grover Clevland.
As soon as could catch my breath
and there was pause, l yelled back /:
'No, that good man Is Ben Harrisou!"
Harrison's picture appeard and the
band struck up, "Hail to the ChiefW
Simultaneously an egg, that must
have been laid by hen that had
something the matter with her. hit
me on the tire of my ear. Doozenbury
told me afterwards that for moment
there WAS bright golden halo
around my head, and l looked like
picture of one of the middle-aged
saints. There was, however, q smell
strong enough TO drive q dog out OF
a slaughter-house. Harrisan's picture
was blessing to me, as II intercepted
some of the missiles. As l dodged q
dead cat, saw Mrs. James q. Blaine,
Sr, who don't like me, grin eardon-
ically, like a CLEAN Of sunshine on
some ancient ruin.
The audience kept on cheer
ing for Blaine and Cleve-
land. Then tumbled. l perceived
the fine Italian hand of Blaine. also
perceived another aromatic testimo.
nial that exploded on my person and
made me wish / had not put on my
best suit. Then 1 adjourned e. Plur-
ibus Unum, as 1t were. My friend
Doozenbury was evidently a tool Of
Blaine. Such friendship.
Next morning called on Harrison.
At first thought he was sneering,
but discovered that he was merely
turning up his nose at the aroma
from the aromatic testimonials had
been presented with, and which l
had been unable to eradicate. In the
language OF tho poet:
"You may break, you may shsttcr tho vase II
you will.
But the ecent OF the roses will hang round II
still"
Col. Snort" said HARRISON" you
will oblige me In the future BY neg
lec,iug TO get up any negro minstrel
demonstrations iu my favor"
ut didn't seem 10 be much In your
favor, Mr.. President"
"You failed ignominously, Col,
c.1.t naar mo what macmillan
smell there is In this room. IL must
be the miasmatic vapors from the
Potomac fats" said Harrison.
The colored stenographer entered.
When he saw me he exploded with
laughter, and retreated.
"Mr. President,n ssid !, Ifyou
were to fire that nigger out ofs can