Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-11-01
pails& eagle
WOMAN AND HOME.
IMPORTANCE OF TEACHING POLITE
NESS EARLY IN LIFE.

A Convenient Business Dress-Mistake.
About '.>trons Minded" Women-A wo.
Who Makes Pocket Pufs-The
French MISUNDERSTANDING Time"
1t is becoming e matter of some anxiety
among thoughtful people whether pohteness
is not almost lost art Not that there is any
less of etiquette or mannerism rather the
contrary, but that there is less of habit
ual politeness than there formerly was among
people of respectable social position And it
is a loss greatly to be deplored. There are
some misguided persons, who, confounding
hypocrisy with good manners tn nix 1t honest
to be rude, but there are many more who
never cast thought upon the subject To
them one word
DO not think that your son or daughter can
acquire habits of politeneSs as they can cloaks
at the moment they are needed. The very
phrase-habiss Of politeness-teaches US the
impossibility Of that. Habt implies the fac
ulty of unconscious action in any given direc-
Non. If we would have our children truly
polite, they must first see that We are so, and
that from the first breath they draw, for
even so early do impressions begin to be made
upon them; and secondly, they must be
gently checked in their first manifestations
of selfishness, for no person can be truly po-
lite and selfish at the same time.
To render thanks with gracious warmth
for every slightest favor; TO never meet an
other, of whatever rank, or however many
times daily, without smile or bow of genial
courtesy; to rise spontaneously in the pres
ence of age; to "lend hand" gracefully
wherever one is needed; to step aside that
another may pass before; to ask no questions
concerning another's private matters; to
seem not TO know, and, as far as possible, to
really not know the things that we have rea-
son to suppose that others would not wish us
10 know; to make no comments upon such
occurrences when by circumstances we have
been Obliged to see OF hear them; to avoid
disagreeably loud talking or whispering; to
allow to others their full share of the CONVEX
sation, without leaving the whole burden of
of it upon them; to think first of others and
only secondarily of ourselves. are all essential
parts of true politeness and they can never
be successfully assumed by those to whom
they are not habitual from babyhood.
We hardly realize to what an extent our
daily actions and motions are automatic, or,
to speak more correctly, are so habitual that
mental action in regard to them is uncon-
scious. We rise, dress, eat, walk, talk, laugh
or cry without consciously exerting our mus
cles to produce these results. In the same
way we should be polite without knowing it,
without having to cast thought upSn it.
One of our best writers on etiquette saws:
Now it is easy enough to learn when and
how to leave card, how to behave at din
ner, how to dress, how TO eat with ones fork,
how to sit in carriage how TO bow, how to
curtsey, how to receive and how to drop an
acquaintance, but how to be polite is far
higher education" And it is this education
which must begin in the cradle.
To certain extent it may be an inherit
ance. Mr.. Forepaugh, whose long expert
ence with animal training has made him an
authority, says that the horses whose sres
have been trained are much more readily
taught than are others, and those who are
descended from two or more generations of /
trained animals are themselves already half |
trained, their intuitions are quicker and surer,
their minds more responsive.
Among human beings we recognize the fact /
that there are cultured and uncultured /
classes, and that it is ordinarily easier for /
child of cultivated parents to acquire the !
habits of cultured people than for one not so |
descended. But this alone is not enough. |
The colt whose sires for a dozen generations /
have been taught to perform most wonderful /
feats for the Snowman, cannot yet dispense
with training. He may learn to dance the /
Equine Quadrille" more easily than can the /
wild horse OF the prairie, but he will never
learn it without instruction. Neither can a
child, no matter how long his pedigree, afford |
TO dispense with the silent education which /
comes from constant association with people |
who are themselves always polite or with the
nec less important knowledge conveyed by |
precept upon precept.
The children who see-and they are Won
derfully quick and sure to see-that the po-
likeness of their parents is but veneering of
company manners, put on for show, will
bc little likely to trouble themselves to obtain
even this inhnitesinal degree of It, and their
parents are almost sure to be exposed, at the
when they would least desire it, by
the i'll manners of their children.
The enfant terrible is in general only the
jnopportune spokesman of his parents i'll
breeding. If the child says-I will, | won't,
you shall, you shan't; give me some of that;
| want some of the other; tie up my shoe
You're a fooll You liel or uses other anna
le expressions of the sort, we may be quite
sure thar he is in the habit of hearing them
ut home, and no amount of shocked looks and
leprecatory expressions of establishment on
the part of his parents viii or should alter
this opinion.
Let no parent console himself for TIE bois-
ferrous rudenesS of his child 10y the thought
that "he viii know better 10y and by For,
though friction with the world viii un. doubt
.dly in time teach an offending youagster
hat people VIII not always submit to having
their clothes used as foot mats or TO Ieceiv-
ng other similarly agreeable Attentions, vet
he Worlds friction viii never bring more
Than an exterior polish. 1t should b. our
md and aim not TO have our children's hearts
md minds like the marble on which friction
AS bestowed brilliant surface. for within
,he marble is rough and uncouth still Ra-
her should we wish them 70 be like precious
stones. shining with inner light WHICH no
nishap can destroy.-Helen E. Smith in La
lies Home Journal.