The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-23
STUFF AND NONSENSE.


srs.
A sHADowED life-followed by a de-
tective.
IRON bars are the most reliable sort
IF appearance bonds.
The pugilist ascends the ladder of
lame round by round.
A PHILADELPHIA bootblack meets
he russell shoe fad half way with the
sign, Boots BACKED yellow"
NEWSPAPER men have right to be
proud" Well-yes. Handling paste
pot is apt to make 'em little stuck
up.
TRAVELLER Tin Ireland)-I don't see
how il is you people keep in such good
humor. Irishman-Sure we do niver
have enough to ate to get bilious.
"YEs," admitted the visitor, when
the proud mother exhibited her baby,
he has his fathers nose, but don't
worry. 1t may not be always that red. F"
MAMMA QUEER (to her little SOM
There, now, don't bother me I'm busy.
Go and play with the old cat. Tom my
Queer-Why, mamma, that's what the
nurse said to papa yesterday.
JAcK-Charley, why don't you pro-
pose to the Widow Green's daughter I?
She's rich and is regarded as the pearl
Of her sex. Charley-I know it, my
boy. but dislike the mother of pearl.
A TERRIBLE burden: Clara-What a
terrible noise that wagon makes !!
George-Yes; it's dreadful, isn't it
What makes it groan so, George ?"
Why, it is filled with green apples. {"
DoCToR SoUILLs-There is nothing
serious, sir: your wife has merely bit a
little skin off the end of her tongue.
Mr.. Henpeck of her tongue !
Great Scott didn't know there was
any end to it.
"DARRINGER, what's become of the
friend I've seen you with for a week ?"
cut him. His name is Hava-
drink. and every time i called him that
he said L don't care if L do He was
too expensive"
JUDGE Ito police officer)-Are You
sure, sir that the prisoner v as drunk
Officer-Is it drunk yor honor?
Shure af he nd sphoke through the
tiliphone the BIRTH NV i'm I'D av made
the poles shtagger.
DRUG CLERK briskly)-Insect pow
der: Yes, ma'am. Here's some Swed
ish insect powder that's highly recon-
mended Customer don't know
whether that will answer. Mine are
plain American insects.
CHIEF Ito industrious clerk in govern
ment office)-Why didn't you dot the
~ in the last word of your report last
night. Industrious clerk beg your
pardon but the clock struck just at
that point, and / didn't care to work
overtime.
FIRST DRUMMER-Last week / took
the biggest order of the season. Second
Drummer don't believe a word of it,
First Drummer-You don't, Ell? Well,
perhaps you'll believe this (triumphant-
iy producing paper. Here is letter L
just got canceling it.
YOUNG man" said a minister to
member of his congregation, do you
know what relations you sustain in this
world ?" We'll, just at present the only
relation / am sustaining in this world
is my father-in-law, but YOU can just
yamble on it / am not going TO sustain
aim very long," was the reply.
LAST Sunday evening an East Side
widow, who was known to the entire
congregation to be greatly in want of
a husband, was praying with great fer
vency "Oh, thou knowest the desire
Of my heart" she exclaimed a
MANI" responded brother, with
broad accent. "Thy will be done!"
exclaimed the widow, amid a smoker
from the congregation.
BEAUTY AND HER BEAST.
90 Jack dear Nolls engaged, hear;
They say TO such n bear.
II seems an awful sacrifice,
And she so young and fair
II her first season, but perhaps,
Mamma made her say yes.
He's awful rich but such bear.
What's TINT? You Say you guess
I've got some rather strange ideas?
He not a bear, but tall
Handsome and young. Wiz. do you
meanP'