San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-11-29
PROMISES OF MARRIAGE.
MRS. ALEXANDER ON HOW TO
AVOID BROKEN MARITAL
VOWS.

Things to be Thought of Before
Young People Become En-
gagged Causes of
Broken Vows.
Written for the Cincinnati Times-Star.
Probably the custom most discredi-
table, in the estimation of foreigners,
to English social life is the legal right
OF Tilted lover to bring all action for
breach of promise of marriage against
the faithless tiance.
A more degraded picture of sordid
imbecility can not well be imagined
than the scene presented at the trial
of such a case, where the claims for
compensation in hard cash, for
wounded feeling, are supported by
the reading aloud of mawkish letters
teeming with silly pet names and
terms of endearment amid the laugh
ter of the listeners.
Such scenes are the result of a GER
tain Indebtedness in our social code
which, il it entails some incOnven-
fence, at least leaves us free from that
grandmotherly legislation which,
while striving to provide for all pos
sible con tingencies, only FORCES fet-
tiers for its unfortunate subjects,
cramping the muscles which might
otherwise enable them to paddle
their own canoes" successfully into
smooth waters.
Promises of marriage, therefore, of
q certain class bristle with dangers
neither few nor far between; but with
these we have no concern.
The "promises" of which we treat
affect persons to whom the law can
give no relief, and to whom publicity
means purgatory.
Here, too, the difficulties are great,
for though in the eyes of all honor
able men and women, no promise can
or ought to be more sacred than q Sc
rious undertaking to marry, so long
as pair are not absolutely Joined
together in holy matrimony" just and
sufficient causes for breaking the
preliminary promise may arise.
The discovery of circumstances will
fully concea led on either side which
may affect character or fortune, double
dealing, the display of evil tempers,
OF seeming indifference, or of any in
gredient in nature or disposition
which would certainly initiate
against future happiness when the
ineXtricable knot is tied, ought be-
tween serious and candid people to
supply sufficient reasons for breaking
off an engagement.
OF course the heart of the seceder
can alone know the sincerity of the
motives alleged. OF this, however,
there can be no doubt that many q
life might be saved from all-prevad-
ing bitterness had one or the other Of
an engaged pair had the courage and
high principal to avow the doubts
besetting him or her.
Where one is obstinately attached
and the other keen to perceive defects
and draw backs, the suffering and diff
ficulty are enormously increased.
The fact is, however, that the more
serious and candid lovers are, the
less chance there Is of their being act
ed upon by disinte@ratiug !rRIo" COS.
They do not rIsh in heedlessly who,o
angels might well fear to tread.
The most cruel cause of broken
vows is the variation of human fancy
or affection. for this rarely arises
through any fault on the side of the
forsaken one; and here at the first
quivering breath of preference for an
other, any good man or woman would
crush out the intrusive, inconstant
suggestion. Though no easy task,
an honest heart and resolute will can
trample down temptation and keep
an unsulIied faith toward him or her
to who m faith is due.
The best preservative against brok-
en- promises is deliberation in giving
them and rapidity in making them
irrevocable by the final marriage
vow. So much can be endured, so
much is endurable when we know
there ls no way of escape, that the
"fast-and-loose" period of long en-
gagement can not be too earnestly
avoided.
On the contrary, long acquain-
lance previous to marriage is a great
advantage; familiarity with each
others character, tastes, family, cir
cumstances (Which latter never fail to
color our lives) forms an admirable
concrete on which to build the foun-
dalton of married life, and the most
lasting loves are those which are sup
ported by the Orders of friendship.
Indeed, glancing round at the hap
hazard way in which the all-import-
ant and fateful relationship of marri-
age is undertaken, the impression of
all sane persons must be amazement
that the failures are not far more
numerous.
Of all darinp lear ITO the unknowp