Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-07-11
iLLEGlelE WRITER'S.


iLLEGieLE WRITER'S.
ChIrograohic En.,rts of Eminent Men That
Were Almost Indecipherahie.
The most celebrated exponent of bad
penmanship in America was Rufus
Choate. whose signature has been apt
ly compared to "a gridiron struck by
lightning" and whose handwriting
was. in many cases. absolutely unde-
clpherable, even by the writer him.
self On one occasion Mr.. Choate was
having his house repaired. and made
tlepiece put up. promising to send
the model Failing to obtain one to
suit him. he wrote to his work.
man to that effect. The carpenter, aft
er studying the missive-which
looked as if spider wading in ink
had crawled across the paper-at
length concluded that it must be the
desired plan. and forthwith began
fashioning probably the most original
mantel-piece that ever ornamented
room. This story is almost equal to
that told of the great Napoleon, who
was such a wretched writer that it is
said his letters from Germany to Jose
phine were at first taken for rough
maps of the seat of war.
1t is related of the late Dean Stanley
that. a short time before his death, he
was invited by the editor of one of the
New York magazines to contribute an
article to its pages on some timely
topic. The paper was promptly writ
ten and duly received, but, to the con-
sternation of the editor no one could
be found who was able to decipher the
handwriting. Finally, in despair, the
editor was obliged to return the manu-
script to England, to be rewritten for
publication. In fact, the good dean,
like Choate, did not write, but merely
made few arbitrary strokes with
pen on paper.
No mention of remarkable penmen
would be complete which did not in
clude the name of Horace Greeley,
whose chirography was once tersely
described by a new compositor in the
Tribune Office in the savage remark,
literally interspersed with profanity:
If Belshazzar had seen this hand
writing on the wall he would have
been more terrified than he was" OF
the numerous anecdotes related of the
modern Franklin's'' autographed
eccentricities, the following is fair
example:
Mr.. Greeley, becoming disguised
with the blunders of one of his type
settlers, sent note up to the foreman
requesting him to discharge the man
at once, as he was too inefficient a
workman to be any longer employed
on the Tribune. The foreman obeyed
instructions, but before leaving the
typo managed to get possession of
Mr.. Greeley's note. and Immediately
went to rival Office and applied for
work, showing the note as a recon-
mendation. The foreman to whom he ap-
piled scanned the note, and said: ''Oh. l
see-'good and efficient compositor'-
employed a long time on the Tribune
Horace Greeley" and Immediately
set him to work on the strength of
Greeley's cortifcation of his incapaci-
ty. after having been .'Out of job"
for the space of about fifteen minutes.
A somewhat similar story to this is
told of Mr. Brooks, a manager of the
New York Central railway, who once
wrote to a man living on the line of
the road. threatening to prosecute him
if he did not move barn that
he had built on the company's land.
The recipient was unable to read the
letter, but succeeded in making out
the signature. and, concluding that he
had been favored with free pass over
the road, used it as such for nearly
two years, no conductor being able to
dispute his privilege by deciphering
the supposed pass
The handwriting of Horace Greeley
was plain compared with that of Mr..
Bloss, of the Cincinnati Enquirer, who
was, beyond doubt, the worst penman
who ever occupied an editorial chair.
This remarkable journalist was pecul-
lar in all his methods, but in none
more so than in his manner of writing.
His pen was held at the extreme
end Of the holder, and the strange
characters which he made were some
times almost as unintelligible to him
self as to the world at large. His
writing was simply a series of hero
glyphics, but he made his characters
always alike. and in course of time by
close study one could learn to decipher
them. When it was known that Mr..
Bloss was dead the printers in the
Enquirer news-room. lost no time in
.ummaging the waste-paper bags for
specimens of his chirography, until in
less than an hour not a scrap of his
manuscript was to be found in the of
ice.-St- Louis Globe-Democrat.
GOING FORTH IN LIFE.