The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1889-11-09
How Near Wealthy Banker Came to
Being Stuffed.

A rich foreigner, named Suther-
land, naturalized in Russia, was
banker to the Court, and in high
favor with the Empress. He was
reused one morning by the informa-
ton that his house was surrounded
by a guard, and that Reliew, the
Minister of Police, desired to speak
with him. This parsonage entering
without further ceremony, at once
announced his errand.
"Mr. Sutherland" said he, ~ am
charged by my gracious sovereign
with the execution of a sentence, the
severity of which both astonishes
and grieves me; and l am ignorant
as to how you can so far have excited
the resentment of her majesty,
81 am as much in the dark as
yourself" replied the banker; "but
what are your orders?"
81 have not courage to tell you. !"
"Have l lost the confidence of
the Empress?"
.If that were all you would not
see me troubled. Confidence may
return-position may be restored. !"
Gam I to be sent back to my own
country? or, good heavens !" cried
the banker trembling, "does the
Empress think of banishing me to
Siberian"
"Alas you might some day re-
turn"
Gam I to be knouted?"
"This punishment is fearful, but
it does not kill !"
"Is my life, then, in peril9 can
not believe that the Empress, usu-
ally so mild, so gentle-who spoke
to me so kindly but two days since
its impossible for heavens
sake let me know the worst; any
thing is better than this intolerable
suspense"
"Well, them" said Reliew in
melancholy tone, "my gracious
mistress has ordered me to have
you stuffed"
"Stuffed !" cried the poor banker,
Mortified.
eyes, stuffed with straw"
Sutherland looked fxedly at the
Minister of Police an instant, and
exclaimed;
"Sir, either you have lost your
reason or the Empress is not in her
right senses; surely you did not
receive such a command without
endeavoring, at least, to point out
it's unreasonableness, its harbarity."
"Alas my unfortunate friend, /
did that which, under ordinary cir
cumstances, I should not have dared
to attempt; manifested my grief,
my CONSERVATION, / even hazarded
a humble remonstrance; but her
Imperial Majesty, in an irritated
tone, babe me leave her presence
and see her commands obeyed at
once, adding these words, which
still rung in my ears: GO, and for
get not that it is your duty to &C.
quit yourself without a murmur
any commission with which I may
design to trust YOU"
Itwould be impossible to describe
the horror, the despair, of the un-
happy banker; after waiting till
the first burst of grief was over, Re.
liew informed him that he would
allow him a quarter of an hour to
settle his worldly affairs. Suther-
land wept and prayed, and entreated
the Minister to take a petition from
him to the Empress. Overcome by
his applications the magistrate
consented to be his messenger, and
took charge Of the missive, but,
afraid to return to the palace, he
hastily presented himself to the res
idence of the English Ambassador
and explained the affair to him. The
Ambassador, very naturally, sup
posed the Minister had become in
sane, but, bidding him follow, he
hurried to the palace. Introduced
into the imperial presence, he told
his story with as little delay as pos
sible. On hearing this strange re-
cital the Empress exclaimed:
"Merciful Heaven what dread.
full mistake! Reliew must have lost
his wits. Run, quickly, my lord, l
beg, and desire that mailman to re-
lieve my poor banker of his ground
less fears, and to set him at liberty
i'nmet j .tely."
The English Ambassador left the
room to do as Her Majesty required,
and on his return found the Empress
laughing immoderately. 81 see,
now" said she, "the cause of this
uncomfortable absurd blunder. had
for some years a little dog, to which
was much attached. / called him
Sutherland, because that was the
name of the English gentleman who
presented him to me; this dog has
just died, and I gave Reliew orders
to have him stuffed; as he hesitated
became angry ,supposing that from
foolish excess of pride he thought
this commission beneath his dig.
nifty. That is the solution of this
ridiculous enigma. Paris Figaro