Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-16
THE NEW PHONCGRAPH.
a View of It's Operations When in Full
Blast in Newspaper Office.

Edison claims that his new phono-
graph. few of which are now on the
market, is going to work revolution
in newspaper offices. The editor or
reporter will talk what he has to say
right into the photograph. The metal
strip which receives the remarks,
which Mr.. Edison calls the phono-
gram, but which probably should more
properly be called the gilder-fuke, is
then removed and sent to the compos-
ing-room, where it will be inserted in
the compositor's monograph. He will
touch lever with his foot. and the
machine will casu ally mention ten
words. and then relapse into deep
thought, till he sets them and repeats
the performance If he doesn't catch
the remarks he kicks another lever
and the machine repeats
All this has very interesting ap-
pearance at a distance, but it does not
seem as if the composing-room will be
altogether free from trouble, even
when there is an able monograph
wearing a swallow-tail coat and open
front vest, sitting up on every case,
debating scholarly editorial and
graphic descriptive matter. It will
make the composing-r partake
something of the nature of an anarch-
lists meeting to have half a dozen
monographs in an elocutionary voice
talking off editorials, while twice as
many are rolling out telegraphic mat
ter and another gang are making
earnest remarks about the markets,
and still another lot are roaring out
the advertisements. When one of the
editorial machines begins to get deep
~ In earnest and puts one hand under
It's coat-tails, swells out it's breast,
throws back its head and begins to talk
very loud about "a Crying Need of the
Hour" it will only help to confuse
matters. So also will the Government
chemist in the baking powder adver-
tisements. and the reduction sale dry
goods announcements; when these
monographs begin to paw the upper
case, and howl and occasionally shoot
out an electrotype cut of a new sum-
mer suit or something, and take the
compositor in the ear, and knock him
down and then get mad because he
isn't up and at work, it is going to
make exciting times.
While the unsuspecting photograph
is leaning over and pouring it's ten
words into the compositor's ear he will
L
heated remark about the leanness of
the type or the unsa tisfactory charac-
ter of his ''take," or he will make
overtures to another compositor look
ing toward the loan of some tobacco.
and the photograph will take it and
mix it up with an editorial on The
Progress of Church Work." and he
will set it this way and subsequently
the earnest, glowing swear word of the
proof-reader will be noted as it floats
out from another room.
Then one of those eXcitable, nervous
men will be working on as.case with a
quick. impulsive photograph, and the
foot-lever will break, or something.
and the photograph will go right on
talking, and he will try to set as fast
as it can talk. The casual spectator
will observe a tall, round-shouldered
man, with no suspenders on, humping
down over the case and making
desperate and lightning-like grabs
after letters out of two boxes at once.
The air will be filed with type flying
in all directions, and above the roar of
the photograph, galloping along on
cable dispatch full of Russian Generals
names, will be heard the red, molten
remarks of an eXcitable, nervous COM
position. The type in the air will grow
thicker, pieces Of the partitions be-
tween the boxes will join the cloud, the
nervous man will double over still more
and clutch whole handfulls of "e's"
and three-em spaces and hurl them up
to the ceiling, scrape down the upper
case, tearing away the boxes, all the
time yelling "stopper 'er!' to which
the machine will only reply with
hoarse, hollow laugh, till atlast he will
seize it. and tear it from it's place, and
beat the floor with the helples mech
anism till it becomes a shapeless mass.
and hasn't word to say, and till the
tall, excitable compositor has to be
carried away to the hospital.
Such scenes as these will tend to dis
turb the harmony of the composing
room and cause friction.
Again, when the editor is pouring
his tale into a monograph, perhaps
door will slam, for instance. and the
faithful instrument will record it; and
when it is repeated for the compositor,
if he doesn't happen to fully understand
the thing, he will stand there all night,
and perhaps eventually become insane
trying to set that slam.
This will cause loss of time, and
more friction and profanity. and on
the whole there is going to be more
trouble with the photograph in the
composing room than there is now
with the dark, mysterious, unknowa-
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