The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-08-10
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS

The hotter the weather, the cooler
and more calculating the iceman N
| Y. journal.
When Cicero remarked, .I.abor
omnia vincit," he manifestly forgot
the average country board steak-
Somerville Journal.
We read much in the papers about
'foreign intelligence" but we see
precious little OF it when the IMMIGRANT
ships come in.-Burlington Free Press.
Lawyer Quibble-"You, doctorp
Why, you couldn't cure a ham!n DR.
Sawbones-"And you, sir; you couldn't
try case of lard"'-Puck.
-Timid woman, to ferrymap who
was rowing her across the river-.sAre
people ever lost in this river?" mo.
ma'am," he replied; 1--WE ALWAYS find
'em in day or two"
II don't think you are very smart"
said a wife to her husband; to which
he responded: mo, my dear; but
everybody knows that 1 am awfully
shrewed. IN. Y. Ledger.
Among those who hasten to nav
their respects when q prominent per-
sonage has reception are men who
never pay anything else voluntarily
Philadelphia Ledger.
Man of the house-"Whatast this
little bundlep" Boy-"It's yoaf We s.
dress they told me to hringrodnd."
where's the bill?" 30, tby'll have
to send that around in theSagon. y
N. Y. Sun.
There may be, as it, adherents
claim, something in thefaith cure.
But, we would ask, hast ever been
successfully tried on anlnfant suffer-
ing with a severe attacI of the collie?
-Arkansaw Traveller.
Nothing like ecolomy: Her in
tended-"Well, l hav commenced to
save up for our littl home, darling.
quit smoking to-da,." His intended
And II haven't chewed any gum
for a week" -Terre Haute Express.
We don't knowof an actual case
where man blew his brains out by
blowing into the muzzle of gun to see
if it was loaded. But we can point out
several cases where the victim blew
the top of his head off.-Terre Haute
Express.
The requirement of prominent
physician is to be able to write what
will not mean anything. Their bulle-
tins are getting to be almost as obscure
to the average comprehension as are
their prescriptions to the majority of
people. Boston Budget.
There is a good deal said in print
about the overworked preacher, and
the overworked novelist, and the over
worked actress, but there is little or no
attention paid to the overworked pub
ic.-Merchant Traveller.
Little boy Mamma, what does
this mean? Never Judge a man by
his Clothes" Mamma-"O, i means
that men haven't sense enough to select
clothes, and it's always hit or miss
with 'em. Women folks are theeQly
ones that can be judged by Eleir
clothes. "-Philadelphia Record.
"A Judge of Art.-Bobby Ito his
sister)-'1s Mr.. De Lunkhead, your
beau, a judge of fine arts?' Sister
"a very good judge. Bobby. But why
do you ask?" Bobby-"O, he told me
last night that he was going to get the
man who painted your portrait to paint
his house. "-Drake's Magazine.
Low Comedian-''Ah. old friend,
have you seen De Ranter in his new
play?" Comic Villain-''No, by all
things malt, have not. Do the gods
look kindly on him?" Low Comedian
well, he doesn't have much to do
in the first or second act, it's in the
third where he wins his laurels and
the public heart" Comic Villain
"Ah, some happy stroke of genius"
Low Comedian with touch of
nature)-''Yes, he don't come on at
all. Texas Siftings.