Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1889-01-23
Deacon Jones.

al
A few nights after the recent exciting |
presi 4, ntial election, the colored bretlI- /
len and sisters met In their little meet
ing house for the purpose of expiating |
some of their political sins and to listen |
TO a discourse from Deacon Jones, on |
The Men of Other times" Their |
faces when seated denoted happiness |
and ioy. Their bets had been settled |
for the most part by captured chickens |
from the chicken roosts of the adjacent |
farms. and no disturbing influences |
seemd to be at hand to mar their peace
full natures.
Deacon Jones was the care-taker of |
the flock; in his younger days he could |
out dance and capture more chickens |
in "A gwen time than all the rest Of the |
fellows put together, and rumor had 1t |
that on one occasion after embibing |
too freely, he mistook the tail OF a
mule standing in front of his masters |
door. for his bell-pull and his muleship |
disturbed in that sensitive part of his |
anatomy sent poor Jones aklting into a |
bed Of newly make mortar on the op- |
posite side of the street. But things
had changed and the Deacon no long
er young, but stl gay and full of vim,
and as fond as ever of the chicken
family, pursued the even tenor of his
way, safe y i.e Il political canvass was
pending, or the neighboring farmers
were removing from the rapidly i'm
proving town TO some more IT, My set
tied territories.
The triumphs Of physical science i'll
our day in the facilities afforded by
rail, telegraph, telephone and the Print
ing Press, flood our streets and places
of resort and business with multitude
of play bills, circulars, cards, exhibitions
extras, &c., with news from Jericho ard
even New York. till poor PEDESTRIAN
going square Will be loaded down
with load of literature that n Knight
of the Golden Eagle couldn't get away
with. The Deacon, was extremely
fond of literature that was embellished
with quadruped animal life, and when
one or Forepaugh'5 circulars with Boil
iyar on WAS given TO him he folded 1t
carefully and put it in his pocket bible,
at the very part in the book of Job, he
designed as the ground work for his
exposition of the ..men of other times" "
It's strange, nav passing strangel how
sometimes our thoughts. and acts, and
things so essentially different in their
nature and construction, become SO
mixed that we can't iell tother from
which. The Deacon was at his post at
AA.t gwen liiuCs lltAAiP4~uOc "do lis
leading characteristic, and going down
into his pocket lie drew forth his bible
perhaps it was the poor quality of
the gas, or it might have been the de-
creptitude Of h:s aged spectac!es, but,
which ever it was, or, both combined
lie mistook Forepaagh for job, and
took for his text ''Fo poh de fUst and
fust." Just at that moment the Dea-
con felt the need of his noSe-wipe, and
going down INTO a deeper pocket for 1t,
drew with II the immense stock OF
street literature that had been accunu-
lating there Tor several days. Tie cur
rent of air from back window f,oated
1t of 10 every Part of the building,
while eager hands from the uprising
audience sought to capture it. then
arose screams of laughter from throats
of Cyclone force and power that fairly
shook Tie building TO its foundations.
Ancient writer's tell us of an incident
that occurred 1T the tower of Babel,
some years ago, when the distribution
| of languages took place. John Smiths
wife had just come into possession OF
! her new language, the symphonius
| Welsh, and she started from home,
after properly adjusting her new hustle,
TO see john, who was sitting on the
door step OF the cigar shop down the
street. John had just been invested
with the high dutch language, but had
| not experimental with 1t yet. though
any one coming near him could tell the
nationality to which he had been elect
| cd, by the prolific gusts Of liRlerger
that floated from his presence.
Johns wife found him as she expecS-
ed sitting Oh the cellar door smoking a
"long nine. p" and informed him as she
| thought in tile tersest manner, of their
daughter Betsy Ann going off with
| Sam Black 10 the Alderman's to get
married. John wouldn't or couldn't
understand one word she said, and told
| her so i'll dutch, which almost frlghten-
ed him 10 death when he heard himself
| gabbling i'll that classic language.
| Then she recommended her narrative
and John was fearful lest her teeth
would be jeTked out of her mouth, but
| still she labOred, and John satisfied
that much more eXertion on her part
with those strange cross cut words,
would dislocate her entire facial prop
| erty, he began III what he thought
soothing dutch expressions to allay her
wild gestures and strange talk, but she
mistook his motives and STOPPING down
unbuttoned one of her congress CATERS,
and whack'd him over the jaw. This
raised 4 commotion, and people flocked
from candy-Shops and shoe factories to
find out the calamity, each in their
eagerness for the news, accosted each
other in their new dialect, till
amazement at the strange gabbling
made them wild with fear, and they
fled aNayl
Some indistinct intImations of
trouble going on, were received by
Mayor Jones, and going to that part of
the city with a large police force, he
took a position on the curb stone to ad-
dress the frightened citizens, but as his
much alarmed rs the frightened citi-
Zens, for he had been embuttoned in
the hyawathian tongue, and used to
such jerking in his vocal organs he
leaned faintingly on the shoulder of
Dan Winters. and was borne off by a
police van to the station house; then
the populacc mad with themselves and
with each other started a racket that
caused the bed Of the River EuphrateS
to throw up its waters, and the upper
portion of the Tower of Babel fell to
the ground, Deacon Jones, being a
philosopher, and finding that he had
put his foot in it, complacently seated
himself on the top of the desk. The
uproar would cease for a while, their
CITES and cat calls would come in play,
show bout de mules tail Deacon. -
''let her go gallagher, three cheers fo'
de Deacon" Then would come burst
of laughter and a breakdown in the
aisles, until an hour or more wore
away, when some scamp turned off the
gas, and such a wild scene of confusion
ensued that the languages given out at
the port of Babel. multiplied three fold
would fail to describe. The Deacon
to his credit be it observed was the last
to leave the building, and when he did
and descended from the last steps. some
sinners pinned 4 lighted pack OF shoot
ing crackers to his tail, and he went on
his journey profusely Illuminated.