The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-10-31
WISE AND OTHERWISE.
Open for Observation-Disclosures.

OPoh III ousdBSlucub- VI buOloo'
Everything should be taut on a school
ship.
For a disordered liver try Beecham's
Pills.
When footman rises in his profession
does he become a chiropodist =?
1t is very difficult to find key to sue
cess that will work without a clique.
Clothes are hung out to dry quicker
by using j. @. Davis Old Soap than an y
other.
Man is not perfect, of course, but sc
long as woman is, it does not matter
much.
The conversation of a Cincinnatian
should not be interlarded with references
to pork.
How laxative man becomes when
he has bad cold and can't talk above q
whisper.
II dandy falls overheard in chop
ping sea the result is likely TO be q
ground swell.
When mustard plaster sets up in
business it generally has the drawing
room all to itself.
The Poor law is said to be defective
But if it had no defects it could scarcely
be called poor law.
He is mean man who, on meeting
an acquaintance who is inflicted with
the ague, says, Shake"
Why is a general servant like boot
Because one is maid of all work and the
other is also made of awl work.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox says 1.-THE
worst man l ever knew had no vice,
Bad men frequently lose their grip.
The man who tries to crafty cham.
payne appetite with beer income will
never make home happy-as long as he
lives.
Not every one is happy who dances,
says q Spanish proverb. This is at least
true of the man who has just stepped on
a tack.
Visitor-Johnny, what are you going
to be when you grow up Johnny Gagged
4Erm going to be a doctor-see me Kill
a toad now.
Poets in Chicago have hard task
They find it next to impossible TO get the
required number of feet into line
SOnlerUille Journal.
She-I shall always be with you tC
comfort you through life. Hell didn'
ask you to do that. All | wanted wa:
for you TO be my wife,
Salvation Oil is the best and creates
external remedy yet discovered. II
cures rheumatism or neuralgia in one Of
two days. Price 25 cents.
"Sonny, how can l get to the railway
station from here P" ''Have you got {
carriage ?" mo, my little lad" "Oh
then you'll have to walk !"
The woman who carries a handker
chief in her corsage should remember
the fate of the man in the fable whC
warmed wiper in his bosom.
Shells marriage a failure, Charlie
He-Can't say. Why She-Oh, be
cause | was wondering whether shoulC
ever find out Result-He proposes.
Slumberer-Here, let me alone, will
you Mosquito, who has been feastinl
on him-Say, don't be so proud. I've
got plenty of your blood in my veins.
Mrs. N. Peck-So you thought | wa
an angel once, did you T.? And don't yol
think SO now, eh ? Mr.. N. Peck-No
| still live in hope that you may be
though
Magistrate-So you admit having beef
engaged in making counterfeit money
Prisoner-Yes, your honor. You Sc,
the supply of the genuine article is 81
very short.
Henry-So you asked old Growler fo
his daughter, last night, did you. Fred
And how did you come out ? Fred-l
was a window, believe, Henry, Tha
was the best could do, though.
Enter Seedy, with Emancipation,
forte is the absurd and ridiculous. Go
a place for anything like that Edito
Certainly. Take a seat.-Philddeiphi
Press,
Bessie, who has never seen real blac
negro before-Mamma, what sort of
man is that Mammal negro, m
dear. Bessie-Well, guess he mus
have spilled some ink in his complexio
powder.
Local politics run high in the wester
country. A candidate for county cler
in Texas offered to register marriage
for nothing. His opponent, undismayeC
promised to do the same thing and thro'
a cradle in.
= Nobody knows what / suffered fc
years with those terrible racking sic
headaches. Life was only torment [
me f.; if you are so troubled, would aC
wise you to use Sulphur Bittcrs, for the
cured me.-Clara Belle. 40t2
As family medicine Ayers Pills el
4 Gel all others. They are suited to ever
age and, being sugar coated, are cas-
to take. Though searching and tho
ough in effect, they are mild and plea
IS ant in action. and their use is attende
d with no injurious results.
: Physician-So you are afraid your be
Il is not likely to live long, Mr.. Figg
e see nothing in his appearance to justil
such belief. Mr.. Figg-Oh, he lool
all right, and his appetite is simply in
mense, but this morning saw him unit
a tin can from dogs tail, and it alarme
me somewhat.-Terre Haute Express
AFamlly Gathering.
Have you father Have you mott
err Have you son or daughter, sist,
or brother who has not yet taken Kemp
Balsam for the Throat and Lungs, IL
guaranteed remedy for the cure
. Coughs, Colds, Asthma, Group and a
= Threat and Lung troubles If 80, VIII,
a when a sample bottle is gladly given
:, you free by any druggist. and the lars
/. size costs only SOC and $l.O0?
Miss Vassarbred- Emily ! Iul
!, derstand that you took the prize offere
q by the Ladies Magazine for the best e.
say written by young lady under thi
ty ? Miss Homebred-Yes; somehow
got i'll don't know how. Did you con
|. pete ? Miss Vassarbred-Yes, | SCI
" them my graduation essay on 18th
= Buddhistic Extinction of Desire" Whi
did you write on Miss Homebred-
\ 'How to Knit Patch in a Stocking."-
| Burlington Free Press.
The best medical writers claim thf
the successful remedy for nasal catarr
must be nOn-irritating, easy of apple;
ton, and one that will reach all the r.
mote sores and liberated surfaces. TIL
history of the efforts to treat catarr
during the past obliges us to admit tina
only one remedy has met these cond
tons, and that is Ely's Cream Balm
This pleasant remedy has mastered ca
'"--h as nothing else has ever done, IN
| hot IA nh vcioio no apJ nati.nto rra,I,, oo,,