The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1889-06-29
TWO JOHNS, TWO COATS.
The Perplexities They Caused by
Getting Mixed.

''It fits YOU perfect, SIR" said the young
clerk in the clothing store; lit fits like pa
per on the WALL" he was going to remark,
but feeling this ratherhaclSneyed, he added
'lt fits like the skin on a sausage"
"Seems to me it's kind of loose" said the
customer, trying 10 get view Of his own
back in the glass-a feat which many people
endeavor to perform every day of the year,
and in which no one ever succeeds-''it sort
of wrinkles"
"Why, that is because you turn and twist
so,n said the clerk. "Besides, you don
want it to fit too good, only just easy. Why,
now, if you could see the elegant look of
your back from where | stand" added the
clerk rapturously, Il vow and declare you'd
buy it this minute for fear some other gen
tleman should get it first.n And the clerk
folded his arms on the pile of ready made
overcoats all exactly alike even to the last
button, and felt that he could never do bet.
ter than that while he lived.
And as Mr.. Meyer could not get behind
himself, and was trustful person who be
heved what people said, he bought the coat
Having had il put upon him-it was cold.
and he decided TO wear it home-Mr John
Meyer received his receipt and bow of dis
missal, and walked away with little fiut-
tered consciousness ofhis elegant back, that
would have been very speedily dispelled
could he have seen himself as others saw
him, for the coat was much too big for him
Meanwhile another young man entered
the clothing store, driven by the falling
thermometer to purchase an overcoat
Exactly your size" said the talented
clerk, as he took number two from the pile
and proceeded to force his customer into it.
81 can't quite think it is" said the vic
tim, as he moved his arms uneasily, sit
feels too tight
"a new coat always does, don't you
know" said the clerk, 'if it's the fit it
ought to be. A gea of your figure don't
want to go about in Il bag. Why, if you
could stand where i stand and see how styl-
ish your back looks, sir, you'd not let me
take it off for fear some other gent should
snap it up, not knowing he couldn't look
like that in it.n
The customer fell into the trap as the
other had fallen.
His vanity was ticl,led, and he revealed
the fact in his countenance. He paid for
the coat and offered the clerk IA cigar and
the latter gentleman remained dreaming of
promotion; for now that he had tried new
method on two customers, and succeeded in
making sale each time, what might he not
effect in the future2
Later on, the twin coats separated on the
pile, met again on the backs of their pur-
chasers.
''MIr. Meyer" said gentleman walking
with a friend down long business avenue,
"let me introduce you to Mr.. John Meyer"
Coat number one bowed.
"Tm John Meyer myself" said coat num-
Der two. when Adam had grown tired of
naming his descendants, he said: Let all
the rest be called John Meyer"
bET oil nI OF fba
joke, and went to the nearest place where
beer was sold. After that, as John Meyer
number two was IA stranger in the city, Mr..
John Meyer number one took him to the
theater, and afterward to have oysters in
pretty cafe.
Meanwhile they talked business and got
on famously, and parted believing each
other to be the very best fellow in the
world.
Meyer number one, being a householder,
went directly home. His wife was sitting
up for him and came to the door in crmp-
ing pins, with kitchen candle in her hand
and pink nose and eyelids Indicative of
weeping.
81 have been frightened to death, John"
she declared II heard howls down the
street and thought policeman must be
clubbing you"
bestowing connubial kiss.
so, because they love TO do it, said Mrs.
Meyer, 'if ever thev catch any one out very
late. If you were driven to read the papers
as you sat up alone, as often as ! am, you'd
know what was going on, too"
Mr.. John Meyer had married silly little
woman, because, as he said, he liked that
sort, and he only chucked her under the chin
and said:
"Well, Pm home now, Tootsey. Let's
shut up the house and go to bed. How does
my new overcoat look"
Mrs. Meyer examined it critically.
"Well, it's little loose, l think" said
she.
swell, don't know. You don't want
TO look as II you were melted and poured
into coGt you know, Belinda said Mr.
Meyer number one.
"And here is a button coming off, said
Mrs. Meyer. "rll sew it on before go to
bed, or you'll be going down town without
II, and every body saying how neglect you"
She seized the coat, and being now in the
bedroom, she sat near a lamp and began TO
look in her basket for silk and needles.
Meanwhile her lord and master, who had
grown heavy under the influence OF beer
and oysters, undressed himself and turned
into bed, where he was soon snoring tre-
mendously.
The button on, Belinda turned the coat
about finding much fault with II, and
turned out the pockets TO SEQ II they were
strong.
~ never would buy ready-made things"
she said to herself. ~ can't see why John
ioes it,"