Morning journal and courier., 1889-08-16
WRECKLEss.

A sea captain who is the most wreckless is |
the one who ought to receive the biggest SAL |
ary.-Light.
If you want to know something of the reel
life of the Scotch people, go to one OF their
dances.-Boston Courier.
Lobbs-"Did the old gentleman leave
much when he died!" Bobbs-"He left the
earth. What more could expectP'
Gazette.
"Strike, but hear!" as the mosquito re-
marked, continuing the song which had been
momentarily interrupted by the important
slap of his Naturalization Transcript.
"By Jove, Charlie, that's an awfully jolly
cane you have there" "That's not cane,
old man; its loaf of French bread prom
| ised to take home to my wife, don't chew
| know."-Life.
Duplex (whose wife Is dressing for balD-
| "Great griefa Are you going to wear that
| extremely low corsages' Mrs. Duplex-"Cer-
tainly, dear. 1t will not appear too decollette
| when have on my pearl necklace"
The lay Of the poet and the lay OF the hen
differ in several important features, and IN
none more signally than in the readiness
with which the lay of the hen is convertible
into hard cash.-Birmingham Republican.
Stranger-Did pedestrian pass this way 6
few minutes agos Granger-No, sor. I've
been right outer this tater patch fer more'n {
mower, an notter blamed thing has 'passee
'cept one solitary man an he was trampln
erlong on foot.-Time.
Il A great injury done: "I've been injured b.
a statement in your paper" I'm sorry, slr
What did saya' 'sYou stated that ha
compromised with my creditors for Sc sevent s1
( cents on the dollar" "WellW swell,
haven't done anything of the kind; it wa
forty cents Epoch.
General Sherman announces that he wi
attend the Grand Army encampment at MI
Q waukee. It will be remembered that tn
It general and his army could not be induced
J.. stay away from Atlanta in 1854, because tt
cost of transportation to that city was high
: than they liked.-Chicago News.
- "Let's you and play mind reading" sal
81 ithe first little girl as they stood at the gate
I'd "Oh, no." replied the second.
be t'But why!'
- NBeoause mamma does not want me to, al
~ besfles know all what is going on, anyho'
'es You've got a new hired girl, your mother
having an old dress made over, your sistel
beau has gone back on her and your fatn
stayed out all night the other night."-l
,is troit Free Press.
o- The other day contractor who is gradi
new streets in borough near Pittsburg sc
at one of his men, a big fellow named Murpl
act to the railroad station near by to fetch so
lao supplies. The journey both ways ought
40 have been accomplished in half an hour,
Mr.. Murphy did not show up again for o o
TX two hours. When he had brought his ie
aat close<1p to the mound of earth upon VIII
E,n ths contractor was standing he called to
xAfby name. The contractor looked up at
y phy, but did not appear to recognize b
Y and merely said: s'Well, what is ita' Z"
arm back" said Murphy. "That's good for y
an said his employer, 'tbut, me man, what's
nsr.s to mes" "Why, I'm Mr.. Murphy; don't
iS
:our Snom "ridn,+ ao known va Int for the hsrs
rope flSd in this delicate fashion was the lasl
SS9. sa1.asn brought down on the back OF
.ot Murphy.-Pittsburg Dispatch.