Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-06-15
FANCY'S FUNNY CAPRICHa

FANCY's FUNNY CAPRICHa
| Mosr persons who Cross the ocean for
che first time pronounce it q very swell
affair.
Iris swise child that goes out Of the
room to laugh when the old man mashes
| his thumb.
Mrs. GusHNGToN (missing her
spouse)E Where is the light of my lie?
Mr.. La Conic-He has gone out.
TEACHER Ito class in geography
I should dig hole through the earth
where would I come out? Small boy
Out of the hole.
REGULATION dot dond get blem-
ishes on it" says Carl Pretzel, @vhent
der ark in NIT Noah, und forgot to
come der ark out"
| MEDDLER- What is your business?
Cynicus Winding it. Meddler- Mind
ing what? Cynicus-My business.
Mr.. BooDY HousE-How are you on
the Southern race question, Perry?
Mr.. Perry st. Clair Gust returned from
Louisville meeting) Broke.
@JUsr see how those crows carry on
said q man, looking at the antics of q
flock of the birds. eyes," replied an
other, "they are carrion crows"
| HUsBAND-Aword to the wise is suf-
ficient, my dear. Wife-I know it, dar-
ling. That's why have to be contin-
ually and everlastingly talking to you.
CONVERSATION warns the mind and
enlivens the imagination" wrote Ben
Franklin. Evidently Benjamin had
heard two exasperated truck-drivers
talk.
CUSTOMER Ito grocer Is there
money in this business? Grocer
Well, should say SO! Why, I've put
in all my own money and as much as I
could borrow.
"WHAr are you doing, Patrick?"
aWakin' your husband, ma'am." "But
why?" "Becase it's tin o'clock, ma am.
when was to give him the dhrops to
make him shape"
VISITOR Ito butler who is showing
him through the picture gallery of an
old mansion) That's fine portrait
Is it an old master?" Butler-@No.
That's the old missus"
| GEORGE wont YOU be mine, dear?"
Clara-"I think should have to be
hard pressed, indeed, to take you"
George equal to the emergency)-"Oh,
if that's all, here goes"
mo, DON'T want the thing" said
man when importuned to buy the "pigs
In clover" puzzle. at is not novelty
to me. I've been passenger-car con-
ductor for twenty-five years"
"IN the coal business, are your"
Eyes, SIR" discovered the way to
wealth, I suppose?" II have" what
is it," "The weigh to wealth, sir, is
1900 pounds to the tonp-Chicago
Ledger.
"YoUR blood appears to be little
out of order, madam. I will send you
something that will purify it" Mrs.
Hill indignantly Purify my blood,
sir? Are you not aware that I am one
of the 400?
BEGaAR-Please give me dime.
Don't judge me by present appear
ances, but remember that once did
business for Jay Gould. Citizen-I
believe you, my man, I believe you.
Here's dollar.
P. MUNcHAUsEN CADsoN, ESQ
Talk about advenchaws! Why, good
Ged! when was out in Nebwaskaw I
was stwuck slap on the-er-cheek by
q Comanche bullet, by Ged. Miss
Dorothy Debutante- do let me see
it, please. I never saw a fattened
bullet.
TIRED wife-John, I wish you would
bring in some wood. Husband-I
would, my dear, but have the 1umba-
|. 90 again. Tired wife-You have?
Husband-Yes, the pains up my back
are just terrible. Tired wifeEWhy,
what have you been doing? There
were no seats left at the ball grounds,
and I had to stand up.
KENTUCK1AN-Col. Corkscrew, I've
found a philanthropic mission at last.
You know whisky is said to be the bar
to the Indians civilization. Col. Cork
screw-Well, what has that to do with
your mission? Kentuckian-Every-
thing. propose to make the rounds
of the reservations and drink all the |
Internal stuff myself
THE TYPEWRITER GIRL.
With the eyes Of an odalisque, dreamy and |
brown;
With teeth that would rival the pearl,
She quietly walks to her Office down town, |
My darling-the typewriter girl.
Her voice is as soft as the whispers Of love,
Her fluffy hairs tied with q curl, |
And her form would surpass the graces above,
Ny darling-the typewriter girl.
From the tips Of her feet to the flush on hsr |
cheek
She keeps me in one constant whirl;
She told me she earned six dollars Geek,
Ny darling-th typewriter girl