Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1889-05-11
HENRY w. PAINE.
Anecdotes Showing His Wit and His
Wonderful Memory.

Wonderful Memory.
The writer heard, one day this week,
some new stories about that wonderful
man, Henry w. Paine, whose acute savings
are numbered among the worlds epigrams.
The narrator was once pupil of Paine's
in the Boston University Law School,
where Paine lectured on real property.
"One day." said this gentlemen, Mr..
Paine made this remarkable statement to
| me: i was born on the bank of the
kennebec river and grew up there; yet |
never went in swimming, put on a skate,
played a game of cards, or borrowed a
DOLLAR
will leave it to my readers who are
| acquainted with the customs of Kenne-
beckers to decide which of these four spe-
| citications of abstinence is the more re-
markable.
81 will tell Won an incident said this
gentleman, 'sto illustrate the wonderful
power of Paines memory when he was in
his prime. They were exhibited almost
| daily, but never more conspicuously or
dramatically than in this case
an 1879 he visited England, and with a
party of ladies and gentlemen, went to
Windsor Castle. Although Paine had
never been there before, he seemed to be
perfectly acquainted with all the objects of
interest on the road and in the vicinity,
| which he pointed out to his friends with
| copious comments. One of the buildings
| to which he called their attention was a
house which he said once belonged to
Lord Coke, the great English jurist.
beg your pardon, sir said an Eng
lishmau standing by, who overheard, Lord
Coke never lived there
az think | am right said Paine quiet
ly, If my memory serves me, Lord Coke
acquired that house by his marriage with
his second wife, Ann Hatton'
&c You're wrong, sir persisted the En-
glishman. I'm a member of Lord Coke's
profession, and | know
9" Well, we won't dispute it further,
said Paine, pleasantly. We agree as
| well as two lawyers ever do
Nothing more was said, but the next
day as Paine was walking on the Strand in
London, whom should he meet but this
gentleman. The latter took off his hat on
seeing him, handed him his card and said !:
/ wish to beg your pardon, sir. Lord
Coke did live in that house. You were
right and was wrong
"This was the beginning of an agreeable
acquaintance.
Il remember riding home in horse-car
with Paine one day." continued this gem
tleman. "Paine was reading sheepskin-
bound volume of law reports. A mutual
acquaintance hailed him and said: See
here, Paine, do you have to study law
still p
"'This isn't law said Paine. It's
only collection of decisions of the Massa-
chusetts Supreme Court
"The great lawyer" the gentleman
went on, "once quoted some singularly
beautiful and appropriate verses in an i'm
promptu tribute to the memory of a dis
tinguished jurist, the spontaneous eis-
quence of which kept his hearers spell
bound. Somebody asked him where he
found those lines.
:" only know said he, that my father
repeated them to me over sixty years ago,
when | was lad | never have seen or
heard them since
Paine inherited his waggish spirit from
his father, who was an inveterate joker.
One day Wateryille citiz n, noted for
his misery character, asked Paine the
elder to write an epitaph to be placed on
his grayestone after he should have gone.
Paine agreed TO do it, and sent him the
following:
"If Heaven be pleased when sinners cease to
If he'll be pleased when sinners enter in.
If earth be pleased when dies the arrant knave
Then all were pleased when John Jinks filed
this gravel
-Lcwisfoa he. Journal.