St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-02-09
''DRIV FROM HUM"
n. Quad Acts - Mediator Between
Husband and wife.
Helping Shlftlesa, LO0se-Joanted North
Caroltnian to Regain the Good WIN
Of His lBetter-aalf-Conditi0
OF the Rec0aclliatl0n.

"
Of His lBetter-Half-Conditi0n
OF the Recoaciliation.
was resting on log at turn In
the road which ran along the Yadkin
river. with half a mike of the stream
in full sight, when l caught sight
of a canoe coming down. It ap-
peared to have broken adrift and
as the current set it directly
toward the marshy spot in front of me
waited and watched with some inter
est The craft finally drove into the
reeds and came to a standstill. and .
minute later mans head slowly ap-
peared to view. 1t was the head OF a real
live native-lOng-haired sallOw-faced. :.
high-cheek bones, unkempt whiskers
and yellow teeth. The head regarded
me with surprise for time. and then
a body came into view. Its long arms.
dun-colored garments. talon-like finger
nails. stoOp shoulders and long neck
proved the presence OF . native
''cracker." He gazed and gazed. and
as he did not seem inclined to be the
first to break the silence, ] finally said:
Hello! What are you doing there?"
stranger. I've bin driv from hum!"
he replied in a voice 50 full of sorrow
that l could almost see a burying-
ground behind him.
Come ashore and let's talk"
He used a piece of board to paddle
the craft ashore. A clear inspection
revealed that he was tho essence Of
sorrow and dirt boiled down and caked
hard. He was six feet tall. loose joint
I'd. lanky. and evidently rs lazy As he
vas long. Had been sure that hc
was one thousand years old i would
have bet one dollar to a shilling that
he had not combed his hair or washed
his face for nine hundaed and ninety
years. He held out a paw like acwash-
board and greeted me with:
stranger, eh! Well, old Bill Smith
bids We welcome. Las mite he had .,
hum to take ye to. and . cheer to sot'
out fur ye, and some pone and ba'kon
to offer We, but this mornin' he kin only
shake yc by the hand. All il gone
all IS gone"
HAS some calamity happened?" /
asked.
..SOme calamity has. I've been driv
from home, stranger. hain't got no
place to lay my head no more. 'cept i'm
that thar leaky canoe"
THAT'S bad. Who did it?"
..Selutha. sah-and nobody else
lriv me right away from the hum in
which was born"
..And who's Selutha?"
MY wife-the woman who vowed to
love and cherish and support me.
Married her more'n seventeen years
ago. and we've got five children. and
last mite she driv me from hum!"
..You had fuss, suppOses"
..Furse? Furse? No. We had no
furse. She jist lit down on me and
pulled hair and clawea. and said she'd
stood it long enough. She driv me
out in the cold world and l went to
bed in the canoe. cast har adrift. and
yere am. stranger. I'm wuss nor IN
orfun. Won't you 60 back hum with
me and argify to the ole woman!"
How far is it,"
s'Six miles. and I'll take you up In
he canoe. DO it for me. stranger.
Don't stand by and see husband and
father driv from his home"
We got into the canoe and he used
the paddle in q vigorous manner. 1
sized him up as a Lazy, good-natured
native. and it wasn't long before he
..gave himself away"
..Ar' We lawyer?" he asked, as We
drove along up the river.
..Something of one"
Good! l was i'm hopes you was.
You can argify the ole woman in ten
minutes"
..What made the fuss?"
...Jist a notion o. hern. / hain't we'll
and can't work. and she's got notion
I orter. Jist tell her that look like
a man who won't live q year. Tell
her that hard work would break me
down in a week. Tell her you never
felt so sorry for any one In yer hull
life"
We voyagcd along for awhile in 81
lence, and then noticed that the man
was weeping. He wiped the tears
axay and asked:
".Stranger, was ye ever driv from
hum?"
Never"
Then ye don't know how it breaks
o feller down. In srgifying with
Selutha jist menshun that wept,
won't YEP She's heavy on tears"
We landed at the bank below Smiths
cabin about noon. Ho decided to 70
main is the canoe until ! should 80 up
sud .s.R!sy." cut across . held 70