The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-03-23
PuNeENr PARAGRAPHS.

advice suspended before certain coal
ofices.-Colorado Farmer.
Every man likes to talk abou
himself; a good listener makes de
lightful wife.-Louisville Recorder
Say" said the city youth to the
modest countryman, "hay-seed out o
your hair yetp" oval" was the de
iberate reply, II jedge not from the
way the calves run after me-"
The average club man cares very
little about music. If he can only
strike the key OF the door with reason
able accuracy he is content.-Burling
ton Free Press.
If church bells did not ring no one
would remember that it was Sunday
That's why they ring, and it prevents
lots of men from starting out with fish.
poles.-Detroit Free Press.
The average hotel clerk knows al.
most every thing, but he can't tell why
woman will persist in asking what
time the five o'clock train leaves
Hotel Mail.
Mrs. Hinks-"Has your daughter
made good match?" Mrs. Winks-
"She married a nice man." "Bless her
heart. And so she married rich?"
"Richp" Eyes; you said she married
an ice man. Omaha World.
"Wopt you give my new play a
Sg6bd puff" asked an author Of ara
Innate critic. hardly think it would
be sas." "Why notp" "Well, it's so
weak hat a puff would blow it to
pieces. IN. Y. Sun.
II kiow my defects. said B-jen-
kins, pom,ously, and as the bystanders
looked atAim admiringly, one of them
whispered to another softly: What
an awful BIT that man must know
Somervillt journal.
Mrs. Alker-'1'm sick to-day and
want you tttell the doctor to come up
on your wa. down town and" Mr..
L. Observation-Disclosures the mat
teri" Mrs. TT think I'm going to
have the dumb ague." Mr.. T. (going
out) -''Thans heaven" Washington
Post.
The Larger class of destructive
wild animals are numerous in New
Mexico, some anchmen losing fifteen
to twenty per cent. of their calves and
cattle by bears, panthers and mountain
lions. The territory gives as pre-
NUNS for killing mountain lions 500
per head, for bears and panthers So.
"A " estern paper tells of a dog
that. after having been whipped in a
fight. deliberately laid himself down
on a railroad track and permitted a
train to kill him. Really, our whipped
prize fighters don't seem to have as
much sense as a dog. They prefer to
take another whipping.-N. Y. Ledger.
The twin brothers at the Mountain
House were singing a duet. 20, that
we two were Maying," they warbled
sweetly. 'Poh!" said the sarcastic
young lady. You've mixed up the
months. oh, that you two were
Marching would more correctly ex-
press the sentiment of the community"
-Harper's Bazaar.
"A certain actress, says stammering
can be cured by gently, but firmly
squeezing the hand between words.
The name of the young man who cured
the lady is not given. The remedy
may effect cure every time, but heart
affection may follow, if the patient is
young and pretty-and that is more
dangerous than stammering Norris
town Herald.
Harry (horrified at seeing Kate
putting at cigarette)-"Mercy! Do
you smoke, Kate?" Kate-"Not be-
cause I enjoy it. Harry. I want to fill
the rooms with smoke so that should a
burglar break in, he'll think there's a
man in the house." Harry-"Well,
you're only losing your time and soil
ing your lips. A man never smokes
cigarettes no man that a
burglar need be afraid OF. Boston
Transcript.
Concerning Holsters, experts say
that young crustaceans have to be put
in the sea almost as soon as Matched,
and they begin to feed voraciously.
They are born with sense enough to
know that Holsters make delicious
food. and they attack one another
savagely and hungrily. For a few
days they swim ON the surface, where
they find the food suited to their early
requirements. Here their destruction
is enormous. In q few days the lob
ster's walking or crawling members
are developed, and he sinks to the bot
tom, where he makes his homo.