The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-05-24
MATTER WORTH READING.

S,llu 10 lNCk tnat care anu precision III
handling exact truth that should char
acterize County Democrat under cx-
isting political circumstances. The re
port Is based upon a war story and sub
sequent events Over bottle Of wine
the other night Colonel Fellows told a
thrilling story of his active exertions
during the battle of Shiloh. He was
wounded. "The ball hit me square in
the stomach, said the Colonel as he
gazed wistfully at the bottle of wine,
"and the surgeon said the wound was
mortal" The Colonel then told how he
prepared for death, but didn't die. and
how subsequently the bullet was found
Just under the skin around on one side,
having reached that spot by cir
cutous course without causing any
especial injury. The audience ap.
plauded and spent bibulous interval
in congratulation of the wonderful cs-
cape. A few days later the same gen
tlemen were in Colonel Fellows of
fee, where at the time physician had
been examining the District Attor
ney, who was taking. out a life insur-
ance policy. just as he was leaving,
the physician said: by the way
Colonel Fellows, have you any mark,
physical popularity or scar which. in
the absence Of other proof, might lead
to the identification Of your body after
deathT' The two friends smiled know
ingly, as they remembered the Shiloh
bullet, and its necessarily attendant
wound But TO their infinite surprise
the hero of Shiloh remarked, after a
moments thought: No, Doctor, |
don't know of n single mark or scar on
my body. have no natural mark, nor
has anything ever happened to me that
would leave any trace" The Shiloh
audience went out and thought. N. Y.
Graphic.
Tramps Drink Barrel of Alcohol.
West Chester Pa.) dispatch ,Philadel-
phia Times. The West Chester Gas
| Company has issued u mandate which
will effectually break up tramp's
roosting place which has existed in theil
works for some years. The warm hos
pitalities of the engine house. were moi
| denied these nomads during the winter
season, nor would they be now but for
| the fact that spiriting away of q bar.
| rel of alcohol has been traced 10 these
| dodgers of many cline. The barrel
was located in an adjoining apartment
TO that wherein the tramps slept. Into
this they succeeded in running small
gas-pipe which ran through the parti
ton into their sleeping quarters, and all
| they had to do was to connect theii
parched lips TO the pipe, put on the sue
ton process, and the alcohol was theirs
in quantities to fit their appetites. II
was also discovered that these dodgers
had drank the alcohol from the lamps
of the workmen and had substituted
water therefor.
His Euchre Deck.
A young lady broke off her engage
ment with suitor when wealthiel
lover appeared upon the scene. She
wrote to her old lover requesting hin
to return her photograph. Here was q
chance for revenge, which he took by
sending her the following note: %
would gladly comply with your re
quest, but If / do 1t will spoil my
euchre deck. / have collection o.
photographs which / use for playing
cards, and do not want to break II by
giving away the queen of diamonds.
-tWavcrley Magazine.
Testing Diamond.
1t doesn't require an expert to tel
whether diamond is genuine or not
The test is very simple and can be mad
in any place, and In moment. All yo,
need Is piece of paper and leat
pencil. With the latter make small
dot on the paper, then look at i
through the diamond II you can Sc
but one dot you can depend upon
that the stone is genuine, but If tn
mark is scattered, or shows more tina,
one, you will be perfectly safe in re
fusing to pay ten cents for stone tina
may be offered you at $500.
Tom Reeds Examination.
Tom Reed of Maine has been tellin
how he was admitted to the bar. II
was examined in California by Judg
Wallace. Reed says: "The first que:
ton Judge Wallace asked me was, j
the legal. tender act constitutional 2
didn't hesitate moment. i said sin
ply, 1T is constitutional You ca
pass, said Judge Wallace. we a
ways pass man who can settle gres
constitutional questions off hand
They Didn't KIN 1t.
In tearing down a building in Wa
|, rem, Pa, stuffed crane was fount
which some wag took to the river an
set afoat. In three minutes, by ii
town clock, dozen duck hunters WEI
at the river blazing away at the strand
bird, which held up its head and sale
serenely on. After much powder ha
been burned some Of the sportsmen "g,
on" and folding their guns beneat
: their coats they stole home by unfr
quented streets.