Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-11-08
PlTH AND POINT

PRESENTATION never rains but; il
pores.
VOTING into the unknown-Death
by electricity.
"A SYNDICATE Of cattlemen has PERI
feet right to water its stock.
IRIS odd how much food horse can
go without and still be no faster.
The waiter girl is different from al
poet She Is not born; she is maid to-
order.
The fy-wheel is the anarchist of me-
chanics. 1t il always engaged in revo-
lutions.
CHICAGO has gigantic leather trust.
The increasing size of the womep's
shoes render it necessary.
Why don't they select sailors as base
ball umpires? A tar ought to be
good judge how thing is pitched.
WHEN a married woman goes out to-
look after her rights her husband iy
usually left at home with his wrongs.
A WESTERN jeweler, whose store was
attached by Buffalo IN. W creditor,
posted his notice on the door. "Closel
to meet Buffalo Bill"
QUEEN of Spain--Good graciousf
The baby king has the stomach-ache.,
Lord Chamberlain (excitedly) - Call
the Secretary Of the Interior.
OMAHA TEACHER-I would like some
one of the class to define the meaning
of vice versa. Bright boy-It's Sleep
ing with your feet towards the head Of
the bed. 4
THEY sat within the parlor dim
And ffetfully she laid to him
u wish, dear John, that you'd behave,
Boston Courier.
LITTLE Ethel less than three years
old, saw man walking along the street.
with his arm in sling. ooh, mamma, y
she cried, there goes man with hisl
arm in hammock
STRANGBR-Td like ter git Job at;
something, but Pm stranger here ami
amt got no references. Merchant-In.
that case there is no chance for yon!
anywhere, except on the police force.
THIS is world of vicissitudes. To-
day man is pressing his suit for a.
wife; tomorrow tailor is pressing his
suit for his wedding, and the next day
lawyer is pressing his suit for diI
vorce.
MAMMA" said the little daughter Of
frequently tired" merchant, you
know the story in our reader about the
king who never smiled again?" "Yes,,
yes, dear. We'll, does that mean that
he signed.the pledge?"
RETURNED Traveller have oftenI
thought of that young Mr.. Tease. and
how he used to torment Miss AubnrnI
about her red hair. Did she ever get
even with him? Old friend-Long
ago. She married him.
"Now. which Of the great men in the
past would you rather be, Robert ?''
asked the teacher, after long and in4
teresting talk on the celebrities of his-l
tory. "None of 'em," replied Robert;
promptly. None of them! Why not %.
"Cause they're all dead"
A GIRL who has got tired of single
blessedness wrote to her intended as
follows: Dear jim; cum rite off If
you are cummin' at al. Ed Hilton is
insistin' that shell hev him, and he
hugs and kisses me so much that 1
can't hold out much longer"
GoRG1E's uncle-Now, George, you
know cannibals are people who live off.
each other. Georgie-"Your'e q canni-
bal, amt you, uncle?" "Why no.
George! Why do you ask?" well,
papa said to me last night that you'd:
been living off your relations for years."
| A FRAGMENT.
Dear Kate: By this mail advance
10 you the remnant of my pants
There's just the waist band and one leg
Which you'll accept with love. beg.
| It may be when you find the rest
They'll make your brother Tim vest
The shreds send are very slight,
| Your pas dog got the rest last night.
-Onea7ta World.
HIS chances improving: sDo you
love me. dear?" asked Cholly softly.
well. Cholly,a said Molly, ITO tell
you the truth, I am not quite sure; but
think perhaps I could love you
enough to be your wife if you could
only manage to getyour salary raised"
BALD-HEADED and very homely old
gentleman Ito Photographic such
pictures! Can't you make me look any
better than that after five sittings?
Photographer thoroughly exasperated)
Il think can, sir, if you will allow
ME to take the back of your head. 1t
| hasn't so much expression as the other
side, but it's a blamed sight pret.ier.