New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-04-21
ABSENT-MINDED GUESTS.
vAeAR1Es THAT vEx THE HoTEncLERK.
MIsFIT TRAP TO CATCH A THIEvING CHAMBER
MADAM ovERTHRIFTY BRIDEGROOM.

MIsFIT TRAP TO CATCH THIEvING CHAMBER
MADAM ovERTHRIFTY BRIDEGROOM. =
ave see q great deal Of the quecr side Of human
nature said New-York hotel-cerk the other day,
and 1 think absentmlnded people give US as much
trouble any other class of customers, but there
is generally much TO amuse one in their mistakes
that they are willingly forgiven. 1 can generally
spot absent-mnded people by the quickness with
which they assume q pre-oecupled air whenever tho
conversation or their surroundings do not interest them
IT is not often however perfectly sane and sober
man forgets his own name, yet such case once came
under my observation. A stranger to New-fork came
in here one day. seeming TO be lttc oazed Win the
hustle Of the crowded streets He was one oil that KIND
OF men you often bump against In BroaaWS' as ne
walks backward with his mouth little open ana MS
eyes fixed on the ninth story Of some building AS ne
camo up TO the desk pushed the register toward hm'
He took the pen, dipped 1t in the Ink ana tnen
hesltated scowled, and then blushed. Thinking that
perhaps he could not write, I pulled the register
toward me to write It myself and said: What nameP
sII be hanged II haven't forgotten It,, no sald' as
mai as halter. looked at the man IN establishments
and said Give me your card This brought IL 70 MS
tnemorv in flash Probably that part OF his
sthlnler' that rccoected sounds was taking rest
but that part which remembered how his name looked
when It was written out was on duty
ave had n wealthy old lady staying with us last
winter She was sitting In the parlor all aionAI
musing IN front Of an open grate nre one uAS "non
she began TO call loudly for the pariormah no
ceiying no answer, she rang tho electric pen, when
she could reach without rising, so long that thought
something must be wrong, and sent two Dell boys
upstaIrs on the dead rum When they reached her
the fire was burning hercely and her face was red
with the heat and with Indignation. Bring me me
hre-screen, she almost screamed; such lazy SER
wants never saw. have been calling for an hour'
Bring me Il at once before / am roasted 10 dcaul'
Certainly, maam, said one OF the boys Win
grin, but mlghtn't you have pushed back your chair
n uttIeP Upon my word she replied, mover
thought OF that And then she burst out laughing.
II NV friends hear Of this she added, they IL
think I'm in my dotage' and she gave the boys
halkdollar each and made them swear to Keep IL al
a secret
COMBINING BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE
al had q fussy man Of middle age come horc last
fall with a young wife, They were on their wed
ding tour. She was tmid, lue, paio, lonely
looking, slckly thing and kept her room nearly az
the time lie was out all day visiting tho whole.
sae places, buying goods for bis siore In western
city thus combining business with pleasure In
thrifty Chicago way. He spent his money freely
though and had no end Of traps and trunks and par.
GELS sent TO the hotel when he got ready to start
for home he counted ovor the whole pile with great
care and checked them OF his fingers. LOOK hero,
porter he snapped out, there's something missing
Il think not said tho porter; what Is hP
don't know, replied the bridegroom, dubiously, but
I feel siIre there's something else. I know I'm for
getting something. Four SRratogas, two leather
trunks ono linen covered three big travelling bags,
one ghp, two bundles in shawl straps one hatoo1,
bunch Of sticks aud umbrcllas-that seems 10 BE all,
but feel sure I'm leaving something behind ana
ret can't think what II is Well, broke in,
syouT miss your train II you delay any longer. II
you discover your loss wire At once and Won Keep
A, for fAtu o
wife has sent down word that she d IN tho parior
and MY WIFE, he calculated, Shaping himself
OF course, that's It. had forgotten all about her
How absurd. Well, tho laughs this time.
GOod.by.'
Il have known a man, continued the hO'elclere.
TO 20 to his TO dress for dinner At tho house
Of friend by tho time he had got oil his business
suit the dinner had vanished from his mind, which
was sim running business and plans for the morrow
The gas being lit and the process OF undressing evil
IDENTIFY suggested bed time to him, for no continued 10
dIsrobc, turned out the light and got IN bed. A. no
did not appear at the dinner, wheo he was fully eN-
peeted the host teephoned down 20 the Office 10 know
II Mr.. b. had suddenly been taken III or II va knew
where he was. boy went to his and found
him sleeping Soundly.
LEAVING MANY THINGS BEHIND.
People often forget what they have ordered in the
restaurant before tho dish served and will protest
that they asked for something quito different have
known merchant start downtown TO business on
Sunday morning. and not realize tho situation I'LL
no found tho shutters up his store, and
had a man board hero all winter who used to ask
me to lend him a book very frequently. l always
lent him tho same copy OF scrbnerS Magazine
all had by me, and he would read It for hour
so, and then return IL with thanks Once asked
him what he thought Of IT, He said that II a
good number Of the magazine no doubt, but he haf
heard the stories somewhere before, he thought We
have store room full OF umbrellas, canes, btishos
etc., that guests have left behind Inadvertently not
10 mention trunks, whose owners skipped without
paying their bills. We have nightgowns In
stock than would sot up underwear department Of
little dry-goOds store. Guests leave them on the
bed, the chambormad folds them neatly up under the
pillow and there they overlooked In the packing
Jp
(" But there Is nothing amusing about that phase
OF absent mndedness," said the clerk THAT Is only
a nuisance. Ono Of our steady patrons. however,
made laugh heartily the other day Ho suspected
a new an:bermsd OF stealing little things from his
room and l going 10 dismiss hor at once. lie
thought he would like 10 be sure that she guilty
coin lying on his bureau. Next morning when he
cRme down, he said: i improved somewhat on your
trick. old man. thought that leaving one coin IN
| conspicuous place would look papably lil1e the
old trick that the cunning little fox might not BITS
| a. II ut all Pm keen judge OF human nature, you
| know. So hst placed q whole handful Of small
my pockets and had forgotten them and II tho girls
dishonest she'll think sho take or two pieces
without their being missed,
ait may be an expensive bait, however SAID
! perhaps she viii SCOOP It all How much did you
le%yee6 r. ,,n., =. at. ., ,o,,,, 10 .ou,, g.,