The Washington critic., 1889-04-13
MATTER WORTH READING.


hfNluit hht iIhEWlth khi w VIC "
fraudl" was the startling declaration made
by Dr. Mary L. Walker from the lecture
platform Of Austins Nickclodcop In Bos-
ton, Monday afternoon. A yell went up
from the tbroats OF the men who were
packed IN the dense crowd in front Of the
platform on which the "Tingwick girli sat,
and al told you son was heard upon every
side.
A shock from an electric light dynamo
could not have more stunned Professor Ord
way, the official lecturer, who had been
telling Of the wonderful girl who had not
eaten for seven years, in conjunction with
DIR. Walker, for the past nine days. His
pompadour hair stood up straigbter than
ever, and he was thoroughly taken aback.
"What do you mean9' he finally de-
manded of the only woman who wears
trousers.
1--WE caught her eating, and that's
enough" returned the plucky little woman,
"and ! say she's a fraud, and shall always
stick TO IL. Perhaps you think that came
here TO be paid not to see, but tell you 1
came here determined to find out about
this girl and TO expose her II she was a
fraud, and that's what she is"
Mile. Bedard informed DR.. Walker
through her Interpreter that she "hated
her anyway, and didn't want her around"
The Doctor said that she wasn't In love
with deceitful mink like her, aud so on.
But the fun came upon the next lecture
and there was big crowd to enjoy IL. The
Doctor pitched into the "Tibgwick Girl'i
for all she was worth, and she knows how
to talk, too. She related her alleged dis.
coveries and was plain spoken about every
thing. The crowd took 1t and eDjoyel It
hugely, guying the lady in pantaloons aud
got off some "nip" remarks that she did
not like. DIR. Walker got mad, but she
wasn't thoroughly stirred up until Pro-
fessor 0rdway commenced to talk. lie
sail that Dr. Walker was mistaken, aud,
further, was telling falseboods.
Professor Ordway made the point that
the priest of the church where Mile. Bedard
attended in Lewiston, Me-, had certified
that she had not eaten, and said that he had
no object in lying and that he did not be-
lieve that she had lied
After long harangue, Professor Ordway
said: ST DR.. Walker believes that the girl
is a fraud, why doesn't she accept the offer
made publicly by Mr.. Austin, who agrees
to pay any woman $4,000 II she will go
into II Dom with the 'Tingwck Girl and
live as she does for twelve weeks?''
The little Doctor jumped to her feet I'M
mediately and said: ~ will can live as
she does. She eats, and know she does"
-[Boston Herald.
She Wanted u Stylish Comn.
Mr.. William II. Crane, the comedian, tells
O story which he says was given him by Mr..
Edwin Booth. 1t seems that an old lady
eighty years of age, lying at the point OF
death, sent for her clergyman and availed
herself OF the spiritual consolation that
holy man was qualified to administer. This
important Office having been discharged,
the moribund octogenaran fell to discours-
ing about the manner in which she wished
to have her obsequies conducted, and she
insisted that she should be so attired as to
present pleasing appearance.
"Tell me, sir" she asked, feebly, ''what
kind Of collins are now the fashion for
ladies'"
"There are two styles, my dear sister,"
answered the pastor, soothingly. "The
collins for married women are lined with
red silk and the collins for maiden ladies
are lined with white SATIN"
"Well, them" said the old lady, with a
sigh, ~ suppose you'll have to line my
coffin with white satin," and in moment
she added, frightening up, "but you can
put in some strips OF scarlet plush, for
was pretty gay when ! was a girl l"-[Chi-
cago News.
A Curious Death.
A curious cause of death was recently
recorded in India. A native, who was fish
ing in stream, caught fiat, eel-like fish,
about IS to 10 inches In length. Being
desirous Of killing it, he put it into his
mouth in order to bite It's head of. The
fish, however, scarcely appreciating this
somewhat clumsy attempt at decapitation,
| vigorously essayed to make other arrange
ments, in which 1t was partially success
ful. Gifted with sliminess which made
it very difficult to hold, 1t slipped through
the mans fingers into his mouth and con-
veyed itself partly down his gullet. The
situation now was bad for the fish, but still
worse for the man; for, owing to the sharp
| fins on the back Of the fish, 1t was not pos
sible to withdraw 1t. The man died In
great agony within an hour.-[Mcdical
| Press.
A Lucky Man.
There is lucky man living near Amer
icus, Ca, II the following story from the
Macon Telegraph is to be believed: "About
| two weeks ago farmer from another
| county was In Americus wanting $50, but
as he could not execute proper papers
failed to get it. He went home disconso-
late. He had no meat, no credit and was
about to give up in despair He went of
into the woods and made long prayer, not
as long as Jacobs, though, and went home
| to his family, where he ate bread and drank
water for his supper. As he wanted to
| piece some Of his gearing he got to turning
over some old plunder laid aside by his
father during the war in an old shop. In
| turning an old crock over piece Of money
dropped out, and on investigating the crock
he got 500 in $50 gold pieces and about
| $50 in silver"
She Was Not Satisfied.
A Brooklyn coroner, while examining
some papers, unearthed a receipt for val
uables that were found on the person OF a
man who dropped dead near the bridge.
Among the things acknowledged by II were
almost $1,000 in currency, several large
books some jewelry and papers. The
widow of the man was known, and the OH
cer to save her the trouble Of going TO
his office, sent the effects to her residence.
There were score of articles in all, and
they made a pretty bulky bundle. When
! the messenger delivered them to the widow