Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1889-08-27
1nt oMnIpRrseNI eoNNsL


not permitted io women to wear her hon
net bonnet IN this connection comprls-
lag the hat. toque, or whatever form the
outdoor hcad-coyerlng ~ woman NAV
affect. ~ church. NJ the banquet hoard,
amid the -crnes ~ the bathing beach,
In the ball room cyrn-cV.rvwherc u tn
he seen In position the ubiquitous bonnet.
Man mu.t ,lon HI. hat II be- meet. e.
msle acqualntancc IN the street, or II the
companion of hi walk meets lady
friend. IIe must uncover In the church.
NJ the theatre ar other public gathering
place: to slt covered NJ table. save In the
free-ani-easlesi ~ lunch rooms, were an
unparionahle gauchsric. aud hat upon
the head ~ male in a ballroom would
b. accounted profanailon.
Hut woman. God bless her possesses
the right founded upon established cus-
tom or hv virtue ~ having been born ~
the grn,lcr gender. ~ appearing anv-
Wherr and evervvherr With head sur
mounted hy the hanllwork ~ the millin-
cr. II u true. she NAV he found 90
caslonailv unlonneied. bat In that ease
lt l. because her hat l. an old Que or nm
l..yuming. Hut given the two elemenis
~ neNnc.s aud becomlngnes., aud u "
difficult a. name the time or plac" in
which the honnet will not appcir Va po-
alton Whenever he appears.
And this l. al the more strange In
view ~ the fact that whenever or where
ever q woman tlcs un a bonnet she in-
NariahlV makcs The excuse which u so
tritr snd 80 constantly repeated that u
h.comes mvsierv o. the unlnitiniri
however her hair hlpp-ucd to D. nNc'i
when .hr pat ON the bonnet which, a. a
general rule. surmounts her toilet
Re this as d NAV. when tou scc the wo-
man. you .er In her honnci. Nsk her
a. rrmo,v Il. and she i ready with an
excuse Either u l. too much trouble Co
take IL on AMI pat u on again, or the
same rNru.r which she offered when
a.kevl o. try ou ionnet l. forthcoming.
IIer hair i.nr hNcl this time for appear
Ing without H.
Another my.ierv. \ honnsi's Sire
has NO relation Go the dimensions ~ the
Wsarvf's head. II may H. a mile too bic
or q mile ~ small. hat u mikrs no dit
ference Nni the manner ~ retaining II
IN place J. something which no man can
ever hops a. understand. II strings i"
ihe o.isnslhl. fastening, the strings are
more likely a. hang loose, With no slgu
~ practical utility, than to be ii"i .c-
CURLY aud tightly under the chin. The
strings. surely, have nothing io do With
the casc.
still another mystery l. the lnscnsaic
character ~ the female head. The We
man clap. on her honnci, and when shc
has got u IN position to sult her, sh- pro-
cr.ds to conhnc Il there hy long, sharp
aud cruel pins, which she jahs into her
head rrmorsclessly and With a. little ~
gard for personal feeling a. she would a
turkey for roasting. AMI because these
pins give herself NO sensation ~ pain,
.he permits their horrrnt polnts to pro-
trudc Ia All directions until her head rr-
..mhlc. the fruitful porcupinc with qullls
iu position for offensive operation.
Another I,cculhrity ~ the bonnet j.
found Ia the fact that u cannot D. donned
eNcept before a mirror. Without q look
Ing glass no woman ever put on her bon
net. and without u no woman ever will
or can. Abolish the mirror, and from
that moment womanklnd would 90
through the world bonnctlcss until the
end ~ the chapter.
Hut u l. idle to think of q mlrrorles.
world, while Il contains woman. When
thcrr srr no more women there may no
longer b. mirrors: not before. There
fore We continue to expect to iind The
honneiel female wherever woman i
found. II l. not certain that she wear
her bonnet to hs~i, bat II l. more than
likely ani IL she does not wear II la her
coffin. II l. because shc has NO eyes Ia
see her reflection In the looklng-glass-a
precedent condition Indispensable to IT,
putting on ai all.-llosion Transcript.