The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-12-26
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


Going to work with a will-Contest-
ing it.
Music hath charms-That is No. -
together in the proper prop i1-f --
Danspiile Breeze.
The easiest way for a good
along pleasantly is to practice ''
husband preaches.-Atchason :
When cashier goes to Canada his EN-
blowers face and his own accounts are the
long and short of it.-Chicago Nees
In milking a COW always sit on the side
furthest from the COW and near soft
spot in the pasture. --Mil'ooukee Butt
Some mems affairs don't get straight
ened out until about the same time they
do themselves. Burlington Free Press.
81 only charge you fair price" she
said, as Robinson objected to paying hve
dollars for buttonhole bouquet Yam
kee Blade.
One reason why an expert fisherman IS
so silent at his sport is because ne Is
waiting for catch with baited breath -
Baltimore american.
Parrott-"And so Mrs. Gadabout IS
really forty years oldl She doesn't show
her age" Wags-''No; she keeps 1t TO
herself. "-Munsey's Weekly.
Tile man who drives fast horse may
find it an expensive luxury; but he seems
to have no difficulty in ''raising the
dust - Yonkers Statesman.
Whene'er you step into room
And conversation ceases,
You won't be wrong if you presume
Youhav been picked to pieces;
philadelphia Press.
.,Don't YOU get frightfully tired of
YOUR work?n asked the monkey OF the
hand organ. ''Well life is good deal
of grind for me, replied the organ
Time.
The picture of the three-year-old King
of Spain is on all of the new Spanish
postage stamps; so that child is liable to
receive his share of licking after all
Time.
''To look at you, Jonson, no one would
take YOU for humorist. " ''NoE mo.
And hanged if they'd think you were
funny man to read your jokes, either"
--Bdzdr.
Old Gentleman Harry, | am dis
gusted with you. 1t seems to me you
have no will of your own. Harry
'sAh, yes, but, eh--can't you make one
for me. "-Kea,,'ey Enterprise.
Hotel Clerk-sYou wouldn't imagine
| am nervous; would you2" Guest
"Well, l should hesitate to calculate!
Why, think you've got more nerve than
a book agent. n-No,o York journal.
COLLECTING silver spoons is new
craze" remarks an exchange. Yes, and
collecting towels, blankets, the soap and
other little trifes, is an old craze with
dishonest people who patronize hotels
Hotel Gazette.
The man who signs, ''How soon We
are forgotten" has only to leave the ho-
tel without paying his bill to find out
how sadly mistaken he is.--Bayou Sara
Industrial Meas Wrote to you, eh2
---New Orleans Picayune.
The Professor of California State
university has invented what he calls
''indestructible leather A pair of
shoes made of leather that will never
wear out ought to last a ten-yearold
school boy at least six weeks.
1t is not love that makes him moan,
Nor yet that he is all alone
No grief in his mind is gnawing.
1t is not poyerty's sad dart,
IT'S not remorse tugs at his heart,
His porous plaster is drawing.
-Chicago Herald
Henderson (arguing in defence of his
favorite theory that personal beauty is
not woman's chief attraction --''I con-
tend that beauty has nothing 10 do with
young woman's chief chances of getting
a husband. I'll leave it to any married
woman in the room if it is not so.-Bos-
ton Transcript.