The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1889-12-11
FOUNDERS TRUE LOVE,
Alack! Alackl She Lived Three
Centuries Too Soon.

Mr.. Founder was young gentleman
Of @sthetic temperament. He was al
ways in love with some object or other.
Sometimes 1t was . lady that enslaved
his affections; other times picture or .
piece Of sculpture; and yet another
time, perhaps, some teapot of fanciful
design or other piece Of deli Of rare pat
tern would absorb all his emotional fac
ulties. At times, however, he would get
muddled, and could not always tell who
or what he was In love with; and in this
state he would remain until some cir
cumstance arose which exposed to him
theerror or absurdity Of his situation.
He adored the ladies, who petted and
coaxed him. But it never came to any
thing. The girls soon found out the
evanescent nature OF his professions, and
broke with him in time to prevent talk.
This did not matter very much, how
ever, as he had large and varied stock
always on hand to select from. And so
he would fall in and out OF love in the
most serene way imaginable.
Mr.. Founder was five feet eight
inches in height. His shoulders we're q
bit narrow and sloped beautifully; light
hair, brushed fiat; large and full eyes,
which, Judging from their far-off look,
were capable at times of discerning OBJ
jects at an illimitable distance; the
delicate tracings of his eyebrows re-
quired close inspection to appreciate
thoroughly their beauty; nose, aquiline;
mouth, large, with plenty Of upper lip
He wore a mustache assiduously Guilt
waited, but cheek and chin--the latter
retreating gracefully-were Of virgin
smoothness His long neck, which was
fenced roInd by a very high collar, was
just able to support a head Of abnormal
proportions. Clothes neatly cut, and
setting of admirably somewhat lachry-
NOSE expression of countenance. gs
Mr.. Founders education had been
neglected. He knew next to nothing.
In short, he was perfect chaos of igno-
rance. His only occupation was follow
ing the ladies and other things referred
to. This, to be sure, was not very re-
munerative, but, as he had clear $500
year of his own, it did not occasion
him any uneasiness. $1,000
But things could not 60 on for ever in
this way. So Mr.. Founder thought one
evening, as he laid down an article he
had been reading-the subject was mar
riage. In it the writer had clearly proved
that it was the bounden duty of man, if
he had the muans, to search out for a
woman whom he could love best, and
wed her, always provided that she was
willing to have him. o. .IhggNa4
Mr.. Founder had always looked upon
marriage in the light of pastime. He
now saw that it was duty as we'll, and
he entered at once into the writer's
views. Stretching out his legs and plac-
ing his feet on the fender-it was cold
night--he lay back in his armchair and,
with the pamphlet across his knee, gave
himself mp to reflection. But, as his
mind refe ,ted nothing, he was sorely
put about az to how he should proceed.
just then his eye caught sight of his
walking stick standing in corner. A
CLEAN Of intelligence lighted up his
face. Getting up, he returned with the
stick. and, reseating himself with the
crooked end Of the stick in his mouth,
felt that he was now in position to
combat the difficulty.
The great question was now before
him, viz.-whom should he marry? If
among his own female acquaintances he
was unable 10 find one with whom he
could mate, then it was his duty to ex-
tend his search until he cane across
some one who would suit.
He now proceeded to bring the whole
force Of his mind TO bear on the knotty