Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1889-06-21
Mr.. and Mrs. BOVSer.
Women's Subjects of Conversation
Compared.
Mrs. BowSer Passes the Biscuits and
Paralyzes B. at Once.
Finally Mr.. Bowser Uses Exclamation
Points and Sleeps in Solitude.


Detroit Free Press.
had q caller the other afternoon when
Mr.. Bowser came home, and after she had
gone he asked:
How long was Mrs. Blank heres"
"About half an hour"
"And you talked about fashions, sup /
poser"
"Yes, mostly. What should We talk
abouts"
"Mrs. Bowser, did it ever occur to you
that there was anything in life beyond |
millinery aud dress goods and dressmak- |
ersf"
"Hows"
How! Why, select some subjec of |
seuse-art, science, mineralogy, the labor |
question, or self government, and discuss |
it with calmness and judg ment, and learn ,
something worth remembering for half |
an hour. You women folks might as we'll |
have been born with pumpkin on your
shoulders in place of a head"
Ina g no reply to this, but determined
to catch Mr.. Bowser in his own trapbe
fore the week was out. Fortune favored
me. 1t was only two days before a
neighbor called over rs he was at work
in the back yard, ard for tive long hours
those men sat down on q ladder and dis
cussed the question whether back gate
should open inward or 0utwards and the
advar tages offered by either situation.
Mr.. Bowser commended for the gate open
ing outward, and the neighbor TOR the
opposite, and the discussion resulted in
Mr.. Bowser getting red clear back of the
ears and jumping Ut to e1claim:
well, let's drop the subject right here.
There can be cranks on alley gates as well
as on politics and religion"
"And there can bs lunatics outside of
the asylums," hotly replied the neigh
Dor.
Don't call me q lunatic!"
"Aud don't you call me a crank"
$50 home and hang your OLD gate TO
the moon!"
I'll hang it according to the rules of
common sense, and don't you forget it,"
When Mr.. Bowser came in to wash his
hands observed:
Mr.. Bowser, did it ever occur to you
that there was anything in life beyond
hanging back gate"
he replied with "hamph of disgust.
"Select some subject of sense, Mr.. Bow
ser-art, science, mine ralogy--the labor
question, or self-government. and discuss
II with calmness and Judgment and learn
something wor remembering for half
an hour!'
He looked around in a desperate help
less way, and put on his hat and went off
without word in reply. | wasn't going
to let him OFF on that, however. When he
came home that evening l had Mrs.
Orfendorf over TO supper, and as soon
as we were seated at ths table 9ueried:
doesn't it strike you that Germany's
policy on the Samoan question is one of
Cancellation instead of aggrt ssion?"
sit certainly does" she replied, but
there may be hidden motive behind this
seeming submission. Trace the record of
the man back as far as you will and his
policy has been either aggression or STRAIT
egy."
Mr. Bowser looked from Que to the
other of us i'll astonishment.
81 notice." said as [ passed the bis
cults, chat the Spanish colonial policy
is working towards a radical change. In
Cited by the example of other and strong
er nations, it is about to extend its arms
and unfold new possessions"
The stare Mr.. Bowser favored me with
| made my flesh creep.
81 do 50 hope you can come down to the
next meeting of the Women's Scientific,
Political and Literary Club" said Mrs.
berries. "TLose gatherings are very
interesting. At our last meeting we dis
cussed the Drift Perio b. and at the one
uext week we shall discuss Two Proposed
Amendments to the Constitution of the
United States.'"
"Oh, I'd like to go ever so much, and 1
think 1 san promise you will be there.
| Can Mr.. Bowser come, toOY
"Well, hardly. Men take such little
interest in such things that they are OBJ
| strnctlons."
And Mr.. Bowser sat there, turning red
and pale by turns, until his chair grew so
| hot that he bad pretended a headache
| and got excused | anticipated an awful
tragedy after my visitor took her de-
| parture, but Mr.. Bowser contented him
self with saying:
"Now that that shallow pated, long
| nosed old nuisance has finally taken her
| leave let's go to bed"
| He regaiped his assurance after a oOu pie
| of days, however. l was talking to our two
! yearold baby, AMI talking as all mothers
| talk, when Mr.. Bowser flung dosn his
| paper and exclaimed:
"Mrs. Bowser, you make me tired talk
| ing to that youngun that wayl No wonder
SO many children grow up to be sap
| headed"
"Bow shall talk?"
Talk sense-the same as you would
to an adult. He's old enough to under
stand, and believe he will appreciate it,"
every well; I'll try"
"Thank you. It's more Than / expected
you'd do"
The trial came that night. We had
scarcely got to bed when baby awoke
and began TO whine. He had got cold
and was feverish.
"Now, Harry" 1 began, ''snug down
and try to go to sleep. It's nothing
serious and 1 object to being kept
awake"
He howled more Justify.
my SON." continued, "this exhibition
| of ingratitude astonishes me: and L IN
sist that you change your course OF CON
duet at once, or leave my house. Fll1al
respect, if nothing"
"What in thunder and blazes are you
talking about ?"roared Mr.. Bowser, as he
sat up III bed.
"I'm talking sense 70 baby"
mot by joyful you amt"
Then you cry it."
sI'u try it by wringinQ his neck if he
doesn't shut off steam! Hes bowling out
of spite,"
"Then warn him that you may be com
PEELED to ipfict due chastiaement, but do
it calmly and gramm stically."
"! ! J"
That's what Mr.. Bowser said as he
jumped out of bed and disappeared INTO
the spare room, and that was the last /
saw of him until morning.
Buffalo Bits Father.
Denver News.
An olG-cime resident of Denver a day
or two since related an incident of the
original Buffalo Bill" Cody, father of
the present famous shovmau, which has
never been in print. Old man Cody was
a prominent figure on the plains in an