St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-02-23
THE ARIZONA KICKER.


THE ARIZONA KICKER
III P1blse-splrissd Edlter Mskss ssos
New Departures
Cone AND SEE Us.-We beg to IN.
nounce 70 the public that We have
established. q grocery in connection
with the Kicker Office. We have run q
partition across our shanty and stocked
the front end with groceries. and here
after the two will be one and insepara-
BILE. While we blandly acknowledge
that this is not a literary move calci-
lated to raise tho public hair on end. ws
call your attention to the fact that We
shall sell six dozen clothespins for fif-
teen cents. and seven bars Of soap for
a quarter. A customer who wants New
Orleans molasses at Wholesale or retail
will find us behind the counter smiling
and anablc. The citizen who wants to
subscribe for the Kicker will find us in
the back room willing to pocket his y
For SALE-The editor Of this paper
has 500 worth OF shares in the Spotted
Bull Silver Mining Company which he
will sell cheap for cash or trade for an
all-wool undershirt. These shares
were presented us with the understand
ing that We should help rope in Eastern
suckers Either the rope is out OF or
der or suckers are scarce. The stock
has gonc down ~ two cents on tho dol
lar, and VIC propose to unload before
another assessment is made. We said
an all-wOOl uDdcrshirt, but We arc not
going TO be too particular about It II
its half cotton. minus the buttons or
flaps, or Is ripped up the back. we shall
probably make tho exchange. Don't
hesitate because you may have been
told that we are proud and naughty.
We know when to come down of the
top rail.
CONVICTED LIAR.-The wcb-footcd.
knock-knecd hyena who edits the litcr-
ary cattle drive across tho street
charges us with trying to lord it over
this community because we have occa-
sionally appeared In white shirt and
fifty-cent suspenders. Those who know
us best know how humble and lOwly
VIC feel. even when having tho only pa
per cOll-r in the crowd which has not
been turn. - sand-papered. We
shall &C. sionally put on a white shirt
not 70 humiliate our fellOw-citizens
or boost ourselves above the herd. but
in order to connect US temporarily with
outs de civilization. Now and then we
shall replace the horse-hide strap
around our waist with the suspenders
spoken OF. but It will not be in any
spirit of self-aggrandizement, such as
m; ght justly call for mob violence and
the destruction Of our Office. As for
the old grave-robber opposite. wo have
already located him for an Ohio sheriff,
who is expected along daily to take him
away.
DO Nor FoRGEr. We trust that none
of our friends will forget the fact that
We still continue to board ourselves and
cook our meals on the Office stove.
Contributions Of vegetables. game.
bread. eggs and whatever is catablc.
are always thankfully received and fol-
lowed by = free puff for the contribu-
tors
ArOLOGErICALLY.-I the haste Of
getting to press last week we did a
worthy citizen injustice in the item
about shooting ARRAY on Jackass Hill.
We stated that Cinnamon Tom was the
man who killed old Rutger. and that it
would be a great moral lesson to him
to draw him up to limb and fire about
fifty bullets into his carcass. We now
take pleasure in announcing that c.
Tom was not the guilty party. He did
not even ''draw" on the old man. AT
the time the latter threw up his hands
and exclaimed: Boys! I'm dOwncd.
See that my grave is kept green? Tom
was further down the hill, chewing
away Mt Colonel Sockets left car. and
having all he could do TO hold it. The
cen surablc party is Wildcrcat Joe, who
left town that same evening for n Purcr
while Cinnamon Tom is as
innocent as young gopher. We found
him behind the bar Of the Red Front
saloon ycstcrlay. genial rs ever 10 all
cOmcrs. but injured in his finer feelings
by our hasty conclusion. We make
this apology Of our own free will. and
hope it will re-instate him in tho esteem