Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-04-17

,
\l=E-sEZMsA gl3Ieminent but nawsty
N5s5z@NMal "a - Duke. 1t is only a lit
wzSHhH3#MS/ tie while since they
NNGNF9gHs were married in the
9 midst of all the pride
~ and grandeur of Mayor
Hewitts office, sur
rounded by the Mayor himself and sup
ported by the janitor of the building, mes
senger boys in full panoply, heads OF DE,
partments, letter heads, corned heads, ana
bill heads. AS the happy couple left their
horse-car. driven by an eminent savant IN
rubber overcoat, and moved proudly
across City Hall Park, they were preceded
by a beautiful woman 63 years OF age. ana
wearing black and tan breakfast shawl,
who scattered flowers to the masses at i've
cents a bunch 1t was a solemn and inn
pressive sight. Men standing on tho steps
Of the Court House near by, waiting TO pc
summoned as jurors for the ensuing term.
meantime trying to forget what Informal
minds would be thoroughly fitted for the
arduous dutios Of jurors. looked up IN
vacant way.
Mayor Hewitt looked out the window and
saw them coming. Hastily upending MS
cuffs and rufltng his hair, SO as to have
distinguished and disheveled appearance.
he instructed the official organ OF the city
to play the wedding march.
There was low. gurgling knock on the
door. and, when Mayor Hewitt opened II.
out into the hall. Marlborough took him
around behind the wood-box, where they
could be entirely alone. Then he whispered
to Mayor Hewitt; Abe. are you busyp"
We'll. not SO ALFRED busy. What is it.
Duke?"
Il wanted to get married If you've got
| time to attend to it. How soon could you
| wait on us r
20. I can do it now. guess. was writ
! ing piece for the paper, but can put that
oeF i,, ta1yn off Iyn1l
| have time to prepare litt1, impromptu
| thought or two, and send out for package
| of cardamon seeds. | hate to kiss a
| Duchess. as a general thing. unless my
| breath is as sweet as a violet"
By this time the wedding party had en-
tered, and now stood about the Office read
| ing the acts of the Legislature. or vainly
seeking to look through the opalescent win
| dows.
| asked the Mayor. as he began to write in a
| red account book and regard him closely
| with keen, searching glance.
| Marlborough said it was not and went on
| to state at some length what his full name
this is simply short, hasty article for the
| paper. It is not a city directory.
well. then, if you are ready. said the
| Mayor, briskly wiping his pen with the tail
| of his linen coat, you can stand up over
there there BY the register and take hold q
Which side do you want me on" says
the Duke, trying to look cool.
20. cry side. 1t don't make any odds. to
me-" says the Mayor. Il don't know what
but Us regards the statutes it don't make
any difference. Here in America we don't
| care much for frills. We care little here
for what the world calls pomp. We scorn
the little forms and funny business OF o
false and swelled up but tottering dynasty.
| 'rn Iyrn NO a
| you a style of splice that can recommend
Then, as the Duke pulled his stop watch
and gave the word. the Mayor ate another
| cardamon seed and, reading selection
from the Mail and Express instead of CD IN
ing the exercises by means of kit OF bur
| glars tools, proceeded to draw out the
| Duke as to his Intentions for the future, and
to quiz him a little as TO whether he would
love and cherish, support, maintain. TO ter,
and encourage his wife, provided he had
| one, and whether he would be willing to
divide her private fortune with her in case
| she needed money. Getting the Duke $
views on this subject he chatted with the
bride in an off-hand way, meantime trans
acting the other business, ever and anon, as
people came in from time to time to see him
about opening up new street or getting
out q license for exhibiting tame bear in u
quiet little town.
All being satisfactorily. answered. the
Mayor said: Il now desire briefly to pro-
nounce you man and wife, and what have
joined together as Mayor of New York it
| will bother plain citizen to put asunder.
| cannot refrain at this time from making a
few remarks which have thought up while
standing here. 1t is these: The duties of "A
Duke and those of a Duchess are almost
entirely different. as I understand it. AS
Duke, it will be your duty to receive and nc
| count for all such moneys as may come
into your hands; paying them out only on
be required to do the chores or see that
they are done by others, see that sufficient
coal is laid in during the month of August,
while it is cheap. to keep the castle hot till
spring; also to Keep the taxes on your
to become delinquent. You will eject the
cat at half-past each night, lock
the front window carefully, and wind
the clock. 1t will also be your duty
to love your wife all the time. no matter
what the customs of eminent people may be.
Do not think because you are Duke that
YOU can come over here and corral trust
ing American girl, lead her away to your
large stone smokehouse. put up a light
| board fence around your premises and neg
lect her. If you do that will correspond
with you, and thus make your life perfect
hell. Try and live down the disagreeable
reports I hear about YOU, Marlborough.
Come home to your meals. Allow your wife
and deaths to her from the morning papers
Ask her advice in matters OF business, and
then do as you like. That's the way do.
1t pleases your wife and does not hurt your
business. Be good husband, even If you
have to neglect your duties as Duke, and
good luck to you.
ITO you. Duchess, Ineed say but little.
You can reason with a man and possibly
improve him in that way. but woman's
great success or failure rests in her own
heart. That's why I need not talk to you
at length. For awhile it will seem odd when
you will get up from day to day and fine
yourself Duchess. but you will get used tc
| 1t at last just as aman gets used to wooden
leg until at last 1t seems entirely natural tc
him. And now, Duchess, adieu, and Goo
Lless YOU, 50 long; or bon jour. as we say
in dear old France.
And now" said the Duke. as he picked
up his umbrella and felt apprehensively In
his vest. Mr.. Hewitt, howmuch are you ou
| on this?'
ooh, any time will do for that" said the
Mayor. -and if you don't pay it at all, tina
, will be all right, guess.
well, then, Ii you don't want to TAXI
4 anything for it, / am much obliged, any
how, and If can do you favor any tint
} just press the button and you'll get wait
RI ed on"
IL was not long till the eminent but i'm
moral Duke returned to his estates. No
) | ton and had to carry his yalise and hat DO,
Z up to the castle. There all was hushed ant
. the Duke had to crawl in at the front win
dow and unfasten the door before he coult
. | let the Duchess in. proud Duke hates tx
do that, IT makes him hot. People go b.
!, and see him tearing his small clothes on
: nail as he hangs By means OF bis stomach
. on the ledge of the window. It pnman
! him and makes him say things which woul'
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