St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-12-22
THE "ARIzoNA -KloKERs."
An Editors Experiences With
Human Nature.

Human Nature.
Detroit Free Press.
We extract the following from the
last issue of the Arizona Kicker:
We Are Left.-FOr the past four
weeks our friends have been eagerly
pressing us to take the nomination for
mayor on the peoples ticket. We do
not crave office and are q very busy
man, but the pressure became so great
we had to give in.
Last Tuesday evening the city caucus
was held, and instead of being nOmi-
mated for mayor we received only three
votes out of upwards of sixty cast. Our
friends were mistaken when they in
sisted that we were wanted. Instead Of
being the unanimous choice of the pa
triotic people, we had the pleasure of
seeing Jerry Baxter. the meanest man
in town given tine nomination.
Oh, well, that's human nature right
. through, and an editor fool enough to
go into politics deserves to be driven
head first into the tan-bark as we were.
We have a word to say, however: The
Kicker will not only bolt every candi-
date on the ticket, but we guarantee to
have nine-tenths of the nominees in
prison before they are month older.
Veni cum granis! which is Latin for
saying: Don't monkey with a news
paper man.
AS to the lynching, we suggested it
because Tim O'Niel, the victim, had
fallen into the habit of killing man
about seven times week, and there
was every reason to believe that the
coroner was standing in with him on the
fees. We should have suggested
stretching the cOroner's neck little at
the same time, but as he brought us in
a club of thirteen subscribers we didn't
think 1t would look exactly right.
Have Got Few-A correspondent in
quires if the Kicker has any libel suits
on hand, as the result of its independ-
ent and OutSpOken course. Well, yes,
it has few--about four dozen. we be-
lieve, but we are not worrying any.
They have all been instituted by sec
Ond-class ducks, who haven't any char
acter to be damaged, and the whole
batch will probably be thrown out of
court in a lump some day. In the be-
ginning of our career libel suit used
to give US the collie for three days and
nights. and we'd wake up from
troubled sleep to find our cheeks wet
with tears. but we soon got sunburned.
Indeed, we rather prefer to see them
come. 1t looks like business.
A Base FaIsehcod-We have aScer-
tanned that it was Col. KehOe who
started the story that we had the pro-
prietor of the Red Star saloon lynched
by mob last week in order to avoid
paying him liquor bill Of Sl8. We en-
cOuntered the colonel in Davis livery
barn yesterday, grabbed him by the
throat aud bucked him against the heels
of stage mule, and between Us and
tine mule the colonel received drub-
bling that will last him his lifetime. He
acknowledged that he was liar, SLAM
derer and thief, and that his course
towards us was actuated by personal
spite. AT that very moment he had on
our Second-beSt undershirt. our Sunday
necktie. and the pantalOOns that we
never wear only on holidays, and was
in debt to US for many other fayOrS.
Might Have Been the Professor
Ever since we took possession OF our Of
fee on Sioux avenue certain people
have taken malicious delight in heav-
ing rocks at the doors and through the
window at midnight. We put up with
it the first six months because we were
afraid, and the next six because we
liked to see people enjoy themselves.
Then we warned the public to letup or
somebody would get hurt. Last We'd
nesday night a rock weighing three
pounds came through a window and
barely missed our head as we lay sleep
ing on our cot. AS we got to the door
with shotgun some one could be seen
making off over the commons towards
Elkins' saloon. We drew on him and
pulled the trigger, and something ut
tered yell.
Yesterday the body of Prof. jenkins
was found in the sagebrush about two
miles from town, and it was plain that
he died of dose of buckshot in the
back. just as likely as not he was the
chap we fired at in the darkness. We
didn't owe him any particular grudge,
and we didn't know that he did US, and
we are willing to foot half the burial eX-
penSeS at venture.
A Base COward-The item in the Chi
cago press of recent date that we had
been fatally wounded by a judge for
publishing a SANDER was not exactly
correct. In the first place, the indi-
vidual was cowboy named Rose. In
the next place the article was true, and
in the third place. after he had fired five
shots at us without touching hair. we
knocked him silly with squash which
we picked up in front of Snyder's gro
Gerry. Then we stood on him for ABOUT
half an hour. and when he went out of
town, our brindled dog was chasing him
at speed of twenty miles an hour.