davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
THE PROPOSED sHIP-CANAL.

The renewed agitation for a ship canal
from Pittsburg to Lake Erie cuntemplates
reversion to old ways of carriage that may
surprise is that the project has not been
taken up with more vigor heretofore. In
this. as in many other things, the people OF
Western Pennsylvania and the Ohio Valley
have rested only too content with the nat
ural advantages to hand, easy of develop
ment. The waterway to the south and
the opportunities of the immense stretch of
navigable lake waters have been almost
wholly unimproved.
''But the day for these means of trans
portation has not departed. As the inter-
ests and commercial undertakings of the
country multiply many plans must arise
for the faeilitation of traffic in the interior.
The ship canal from Lake Erie to Pittsburg,
a preliminary survey of which the State
has already authorized, is one OF these.
The transportation of the country is now
taxed uncommonly every year to pay divi-
dends on water in the capitalization Of the
railroads. At first sight it clearly looks as
though there would be an abundance of
freight, in the carrying of which time is no
special object. to meet interest on the cost of
an ample waterway between Lake Erie and
the Ohio. Incidentally such an enterprise
would inevitably lead to important better
ments of navigation the whole way down
the river to New Orleans.
1t is right that the State and its represen-
tatives in Congress should take business
hold on this matter. In place Of fighting
over petty patronage or factional or partisan
advantage, what would well become men of
brains and ambition in public and business
life is to seize hold of their opportunities to
benefit their locality. Rivalry in such good
works would be welcomed by the public.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
Toys of the Poor.

The toys of the poor have no great mystery
about them, either because there are, as was said
just now. none of them, or because they are, by
reason of their scarcity and consequent value
in the eyes of the owners, played with until they
are played out and drop to pieces of their own
accord. But how about the more solid and
costly playthlngs of Master and Miss? These,
no doubt, frequently become the natural per-
quisites of servants, and are by them transferred
to their own small relations. There is some
thing sad about that. An aristocratic doll, tor
instance, by birth probably Parisienne, accus-
toned to the refined social atmosphere of the
nursery IN a gentleman's house. must be keenly
sensitive to the change of proprietorship when
she is handed over to Nurses little sister. 1t
Is all very well to argue that the heyday
of her youth and beauty is over.
Such reasoning only betrays Grass
ignorance of the mental habit of the sex.
lady, as everybody knows. is never old or ugly.
True, she may be broken toy in the sIrictest
sense of the term. Gladys or Ethel NAV have
smashed her arlstocratic nose and emptied her
elegant person of sawdust over the heads of
brothers and sisters, but it is not to be sup
posed for an instant that she is any the more
likely for shat to accept with resignation
her position as the property of Polly
or Tilly. We should not, indeed, be
in the least surprised to hear, that
patrician dolls which are the victims of
such wofu1 degringolade have way of their
own OF letting their new lleoeian proprietorS
Know the difference between the Glasses and
the Masses With the lower animals, TOYS as
we'll as 'alive," it is different. The "hIgh-
metted racer'' accepts the shafts of the growler
and even the knacker's final blow with patient
submission. and no debut the wooden steed,
who is minus his name and similarly curtailed
at the other end, is equally philosophical in
analogous circumstances. There is patience,
if not dignity, in his appearance as he is
dragged through the gutter at the heels of
the ''little vulgar boy"
Whittier, however, the little vulgar boy even
tually drags him remains mystery. One is,
perforce, compelled to take refuge in that
theory of Limbo of Lost Toys where Noah
and his sons and his sons wives recover per-
haps, the scattered members Of their remarka-
bic geological collection, and where the inqus-
tive little fingers are never at work with toy
--as they always we're In the nursery--to find
out what it's got inside" But certainly no
human eye has ever seen that last resting
place of our broken toys.-Lo1,don Globe.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

In CONNECTION with Mr.. Carnegie's
cruise to the North Cape, the New York
Telegram says: His Homestead workmen
are cruising around for square meal" /"
This shows that the esteemed Telegram is
not acquainted with the style of living OF
the Pittsburg workmen. One of the last
things done by Mr.. Csrnegie's Homestead
workmen was to contribute large sum to
the Johnstown sufferers, and they are now
cruising around to treat with their employ
ers on the subject of wages for next year, on
equal terms.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

The home rule prisoners in British
jails are forbidden the newspapers by their
jailers, which some of the imprisoned pre-.
fess to regard as the refinement of cruelty.
In point of fact, however. they would find
SO little in the London papers fair to them
selves or generous to their cause that they
do not miss much comfort. There are but
two daily papers in London which cham
pion the home rule. Those which are
against 1t recognize no limit to their viru.
lence. =
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

The statement of the esteemed Chicago
Neaos that an Arkansas man permitted
mad dog in Missouri to bite him the other
day, and that the result was fatal to the dog,
would be very interesting scientifically, if
corroborated. We fear, however, that the
esteemed NeaCs has been imposed upon by
an exceedingly antiquated item. The incl
dent to which itreferred was reported in the
last century by that standard journalist, Mr..
Oliver Goldsmith, in his very lively publ
cation entitled "The Vicar of Wakefield"
in an item as follows;
The man recovered of the bite
The dog it was that died.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
TRI.STATE TRIFLES.

HARRISBURG il a queer placet to find Texas
horned toad, yet Frank Toner found one on
the river bank the over day.
IT has been noticeable fact that Of the
many bald old gentlemen who frequent
restaurant on Chestnut street, Philadelphia,
there IA one who is never troubled with flies,
although the others are worried into perspira-
tion keeping the pesky things away He ex-
planned the otherday that he bathed his scalp
with quassia water.
Box tortoises have become scarce in Chester
county. Pennsylvania. IL is thought the NOW.
ing machines have exterminated them.
A CLEARFIELD. Pa, tramp who had stolen
an umbrella was caught in the act of smashing
the handsome handle to get the gold knob of.
AwAGGIsH Prohibitionist of philadelphia
who lost watch on the election paid his bet
with a Waterbury. 1t should have been a
Waterburied.
HOUSEWIVES everywhere are curious to find
out what is wrong with the pea crop this year.
They all seem to cook hard.
SOME men have queer appetites. Here Is
Lehigh county, Pennsylvania man who eats
the ordinary red earthworms. He has repeat
edly eaten them in lots Uf Is on a wager, with
Seemingly az great relish as II he was eating
tubes of maearoni.
DAVID SHEfRER, of Salisbury, near Allen
town, marked a cornstalk day or two since to
see how fast it grew, and found that 1t gained
AZ inches in 331l hours.
SAMUEL SMITH, Of West Chester, Pa, in
strolling through East Bradford came on a
mother 'possum and ten little ones He
caught the whole family, and will try to tame
them.
A HARRISBURG, Pa, voter who invariably
scratches his ticket from force of habit
scratched az usual on Tuesday and made his
ticket worthless
A METHODIST church, near Joanna Furnace,
Berks county, Pa, was struck with lightning
bolt which Il described as ~ bali Of fire as
large as spittoon."
A pB1MIT1vE fisherman. Of Columpiana
county, Ohio, says that artistic angling outfits
are nothing more than downright tomfoolery
and that he can land all the fish he wants with
bent pin. And he does.
A BARBER who had 0 spite against Henry
Ramble, Of Preston county, West Virginia. dis
figured him terribly by cutting his cheek while
shaving him the other day.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
CLIPPED BITS OF WIT.

Wibble-What do you think of this idea
Of fadopting the sundower as the national howerf
Wabbe--Pretty good IDEA, think. 1t IS typi-
cal of quite numerous class of Americans. It
makes big spread all summer and Is seedy in the
fall.--IerTs Adute EEpress
Fenderson-I don't like your friend
Brown. He is positively rude. He went so far
last evening as to tell me l was jackass. 1t was
entirely uncalled for.
Fogg--I agree with you, my by. 1t was entirely
supernuous. --Bost0D Transcript.
Where the Work Comes In.-Minister's
wife--You haven't been out of your study an
hour this week. What is the ma.terg
Minister--some OF the congregation say my SER
mons are too long, and I've been trying to write
q short e.--Nss0 York Wesktg
What Kept Him.-Irare Mamma-Good-
ness me! It's half an hour since sent yon around
to the store to get those things, and here you
back without them.
Little Ulck-"lt was such long time before nv
turn came to be waited on that forgot what il
was you wanted"
'sThen why didn't yOu come home and find
out?''
II was afraid If lief I'D lose my turn. .n-gsu
York Weekly.
A Satisfactory Explanation n.-Distracted
Mother lat her daughters weddingJ-Obl Ohi
Oh! What shall we dOS The groom hasn't come,
the guests are beginning to giggIe, and nv
daughter Is in faint.
Friend of the Famlly-''Calm Yourself madam,
saw the groom only two hours ago, entering the
Great Dry Goods Emporium at the corner. lie
said he had forgotten to get gloves"
Distracted Mother Suddenly breaking into
smllesl-''Oh. then It's all right. He's probably
waiting for his change. ''-Es1o Ynrk WsskIy
JUNE MISERY.
Now it Is that Soils insistence, from a saIu-
tary distance melts our linen aud apparel
to heterogeneous pulp.
And we drench our constitutions, with these
bibulous ablutions, till 1t seems, almost
the alter would be empted at a gnlp.
But this mild incineration, has its ample compen-
sation, for amidst the blbulation, we 50 ar
IDENTIFY implore,
We are spared that cry eternal, with its emphasis
internal, from the man who slirinks and
shivers as he chattsrs = Shut the door u
philadelphia Prsss.
Only One Place for Him.-Prominent
Politician-lhave done q good many favOrs for
you, and now I'D like you to put friend Of mine
on your paper.
Great kdltor--wOuld he do for reporters
''No he hasn't any legs.''
"Um--mlght make an exchange editor, pefs
haps?''
..'Hs eouldn't read the newspapers He,
blind -
Poor feIlowi Can he hsarY''
''N0, deaf as q post. He IL q hhe writer,
though, and he has lively imaginstlon.r
''Goodi will appoint him London eorrs-
spondent''--Hsv fork Weekly.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
The Fitch Case Postponed.

The verdict of the jury in the divorce case of
Fitch against Fitch. when opened in court,
proved to be merely an announcement that,
being unable to agree at l1;S0 o'clock. the jury
had concluded to give IT up and go home Only
Colonel Ingersoll. Mr.. Eougherty and Mr..
Fitch were in court. Mr.. Fitch seemed cheer.
full until he learned that the jury had stood 10
to Q In favor of Mrs. Fitch. Then be looked
sad. The case was set down for retrial at the
October term. Mrs. Fitch's suit against her
husband for separation and alimony is on the
calendar for the same term
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

The green midge, which is supposed to
be very destructive to the wheat crop, is
now reported to be very numerous in the
Western wheat fields and on the boards of
trade. So far as can be perceived, however,
he is much more numerous among the bulls
wheat fields.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
Mother Earrh's Vacuum.

From the Chicago Inter-Ocean.l
The amount OF coal gas and oil that is now
being drained from the interior will produce
something of vacuum in Mother Earth sooner
or later. The present supply of gas is enor-
nous. Statistics for oil show that in 1888
Pennsylvania produced 16. i9l, ,US3 barrels: Ohio.
1O,Ol0, S6S barrels: West Virginia, 1ly,4 bar.
rels; California, 7046l9 barrels; and other
States 10000 barrels. Just how long such a
draft can be made and every year increased,
and the walls hold, no one can saw. 1t Is pos
sible that the supply will be equal to the de-
mand, and there will be no collapse. Science
knows but little of the machinery down toward
hi
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

The Alger and Plat parties have started
for Alaska. The opinion of the admins
tration is that if they can be persuaded to
stay there and absorb the politics of that
far-off territory, the purchase Of Alaska
will be vindicated as the best investment
which a Republican administration ever
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
The Greatest Hand Of All.

From the New Y0rk Herald.i
The hand of your best girl may rest passively
in yours, with the assurance that it is yours
until death or divorce; the hand of Time may
rest lightly and lovingly upon you; the hand of
the clock may point to the dinner hour; you
may be the handsomest man at beauty show;
you may be handy enough with your revolver
to get the drop on a train robber, but nothing
can equal the quiet ecstacy of hand of four
aces when the jack pot is large and increasing.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
riors in Winning victories through the press
disnatches
THE surprise Of the ST. Louis Cloj

The surprise of the St. Louis Globe
Democrat that Minister Reid, in his speech
to President Carnot, used the term United
States in the plural, ''after the manner of
the States Right Democrats might be
modified, if our esteemed contemporary would
study the fact that Minister Reid used it
after the manner of the constitutional faith
ers who established this country.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
THE DIspArCH's Johnstown correspond.

The DIsPATCH's Johnstown correspond
ent telegraphs that the report of IS per cent
as the profit guaranteed TO the contractors
by the State was an error either in transmits
sion or printing. The margin is ten per
cent. That is good large profit on sure
thing, but not quite as bad as that repre-
sented by the erroneous report.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
How spnrrows May be Utilized.

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.l
A Chicago man traps 800 English sparrows
ina day, and as they are fat and healthy he
gets good price for them at the restaurants.
IL is said that the feathers of the sparrow make
a comfortable bed. 1t may be that Providence
has sent the sparrow to feed and warm the
rapidly growing cities of America. We may
all come to love this little Englishman some
nav
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

The practical evidence that the President
has resumed the work of distributing the
foreign missions and consulates conveys re-
newed assurances to the Republican wheel
horses that this administration is not going
to be failure.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

THE report that there is scheme on foot
to convert that Red pond out on Center ave-
que into lake probably finds its sole found
alton in the i'll success which has so far at
tended the efforts to unmake the lake which
has already created itself.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
They Had Better Chain 1t Down.

From the New York telegram
Jay Gould is going take in the Paris exhi-
bition. Judging from the way in which he
usually takes in everything he touches there
won't be much left of the Eifel Tower after be
gets through with 1t.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

GENERAL JUBAL EARLY's renewed and
passionate declaration that he hoped he
may be struck by lightning if he ever de-
serted his faith in the Southern Confeder-
acy, shows that the doughty General is
willing to take almost as big chances as the
buyers of tickets in his lottery have.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
RHYME AND REASON.

"BUsTED, all my money gone.
Shall pawn my diamond ring?
| No, il binds me to NV Jack.
And will do no such a thing.
But some money must raise,
Oh, for friend on whom to call,
! Something, something must be pawned,"
So she put up hor pafasol.
SMARTY-What is the greatest astronomical
| feat ever performed in the world2
Misunderstanding young wife's mince pie.
Smarty-No.
Dumbley-Well, give it up.
smarty-Eton, England.
WANTED-A female stenographer; call or
send photograph.
BURGUNDY-That was a frighttul accident
that happened 10 the man who writes the funny
column In the Prohibition Journal.
Daddy--W hat was it?
Burgundy-Why, he sat down on his Ms.
Daddy-Well.
BurgundY-And the sharp points gave him a
frightfuljag.
Daddy-lou idiot, that won't hurt him; he's
always more or less Jagged.
Gossip-Did you know Miss Rapid sued
Harry smalltalk for libel because be said she was
q lemon?
Another Gossip-fs that SOP When doesthe case
come mp?
Gossip-It was called yesterday, and he was &C.
quilted.
Another Gossip-0n whose evidence?
Gossip-Soine dudeis, who testified that Miss
Rapid was entertaining.
When strawberries first to market come,
One dollar quart we pay.
And of course the laboring man don't buy,
For the price is out of his way.
But just as soon as the prices fall,
And the berries brim in saucer and cup,
The laboring mans wife will first make the Start
To again put the strawberry up.
Mr. Hayseed Ito city chap)-I believe am
going to have q great deal OF trouble with my
corn this year.
City Chap-well, why don't you 20 to chirop-
odist?
had a letter from my love,
1t came across the deeb blue sea,
And 1t does prove beyond doubt,
That she Is thinking still Of me.
She says 'tMy love is growing more,
I'llalways be your loving Dinah,
And will write again to you,
The moment reach Dresden, Chna.''
SEE SEA,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
A HidP.ous Reptile.

From the Chicago Tribune.
A man in Waukeenab, Fla. has killed 500
alligators this season. The alligator is hdeous
reptile. Let nobody shed any crocodile tears
over his remains.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
Fashionable Freckles.

From the Philadelphia Press,
Freckles Of large size and old gold hue are
the proper thing this year. The old-fashioned
tan and sunDurn are no longer popular.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
"a proposition for.
tDesign for a.
Pretty Hard on Colleges,

From the Chicago News.j
1t is estimated that 40 per cent Of the men,
bers of the last two Congresses were college
men. This is pretty hard blow on those insti-
tusions but perhaps they will be able to
waathar If
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
Kausas' New Railroad.

From the Chicago Tribune.i
A new railway in Kansas bears the name OF
the Hutchinson. Oklahoma and Gulf, and Will
doubtless become known to fame as the Route
II, O, G. or Die.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

The report that Hippolyte is now the
conqueror of Hayti is calculated to impress
the outside world with the remarkable mill
tary abilities displayed by the Haytian war
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
Opposedro Cheap Funerals.

1t is war to the knife just now between the
Brooklyn undertakers and the United States
Funeral Directing Company. A short time ago
Liverymah Johnson was beycotted by the un.
dertakers because he furnished Carriages for
the company's funerals. The company met
this antagonistic measure by guaranteeing liv-
erymen whom it patronzed as large profits
from its trade as were yielded to them by the
undeftakers' trade. Now the undertakers
threaten to boycott all firms which engrave the
company's coffin plates. Several firms have.
therefore, refused to do the company's work.
Should the boycott be continued the company
will have to get its plates engraved out of town.
The cause Of the trouble is the undertakers'
opposition to the company's policy of lowering
funeral expenses.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

The Allegheny team yesterday demon
strated the fact that it has its usual grip on
the bad luck which renders it familiar with
the localities about the bottom of the list.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

From the St. Louis Republic.l
There are at least half million people for
whom sheol has no terror. They live in Chica-
20 and summer has come
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
The Sensible Thing TO Do,

From the Philadelphia Inquirer.I
It is the season to wear a cabbage leaf in your
hat. II fashion were guided by common sense
it would be the season to wear the cabbageleaf
and leave the hat at home.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

The weather sharp who predicted some
thing unique and phenomenal in the line of
weather for June 22 has been vindieated.
1t was pleasant day.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
Signs ofthe Times.

From the Chicago News.l
The toy pistols in the show windows and the
long rows of little white cofins in the under
takers shops indicate that the Fourth of July
is near at hand.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

THE Japanese in their houses wear light
shoes or slippers, with woven soles, without
heels, or else 60 in their stocking feet.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23
Ches. Player. Reduced to Beseary.

At the close of the recent chess tournament,
many Of the unsuccessful contestants were al
most penniless. They had expected the mana
ging committee to pay their living expenses
here and their way home, out of the receipts
OF the tournament, but the receipts were SO
small that almost nothing remained for this
purpose after the prizes were paid. Several
ex-ehampion chess players were therefore
obliged to beg money with which to pay their
way home. Tanbenhans sailed for Hsvre in the
steerage with few dollars, which he had
begged and borrowed. G.H. D. Gossip, the cham
pion chess player of Australia, has been unable
up to this afternoon TO get s25 with which to
buy steerage ticket to London. He thinks
that his friends in England will pay his passage
back to Australia if he can only get over there.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

From the Cincinnati Commercial Gakette.l
According to all accounts Hon. Mr.. Mnldoon
Is having about as pleasant time In training
Hon. John L. Sullivan as the animal trainer
would have with bear with a sore head.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

WOODEN shoes, or sabots, are worn now
among the peasants in many countries in Eu-
rope. Their advantage is in their cheapness
and durability
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

AMONG the Southern Indians. where no pro.
lection is needed from the cold, a shoe is made
consisting simply of sole of thick hide bound
on the feet by thongs
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

THE reduction of iron rates from Pitts
bure to New York is sign that the rail-
road world continues to move, and may per-
haps furnish a reason why Mr.. Fink has to.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

Box tortoises have become scarce in Chester
county. Pennsylvania. IL is thought the NOW.
ing machines have exterminated them.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-23

THERE are variety Of boots and shoes used
in China. The common shoe is made of thick,
heavy felt, with still thicker sole made of
woven straw or layers of felt.