The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-07-17
Bric-A-Brac.

making bricks without straw.-Mdpchester
Union.
"a HEN out West has just laid an egg as
big as howl" First time we ever heard
of a bowl-egged hen.-CIeUeidnd San.
WHATS the name OF your stylographic
penn" The Anarchist It's very appro-
pirate name too" "Why?" " Because it
won't work more than one day in a
month. "-Epoch
THINGS do even up pretty well in this
world as rule" unused the paragraph man.
First / make little Joke on hash and
then the compositor makes hash out Of the
little joke. "-Terre Hdute Express.
BosToN HEIREss: I'm afraid it is not for
me, but for my money, that you come here
so often" Ardent wooer: "You are cruel
to say so. How can get your money with
out getting you?'-BoSton Courier.
BoARDER Cracking an egg; We'll, de-
clarel" Waiter (excitedly): What is it?"
Boarder; " why, this egg has a double
yolk." Waiter: POOH that's nothin'
gen 'man's yistiddy had a chicken. DE
trod Free Press.
" Is there anything can do for your"
asked Mrs. Cumso, tenderly, when her hus-
9aRd was suffering sng from Id STS
gasped Cumso, as he again leaned over the
rail.-Ne,C York san.
OLD LADY: al believe the Cape May boat
leaves this pier, does it not?'' Perman
Yes, marm it leaves it every trip. Never
knew it to take it over with it yet, and l
have been here getting on for forty years
come this June. "-7yd-Bts.
Mrs. STRAIGHT: "why, Joshua here you
are reading the Sunday papers, after preach
ing against them this morning" Rev. Mr..
Straight ooh, my dear, I'm not reading
the news. I'm just reading about Sullivan
and Kilrain. "-LdCrence american.
DoCroR's WIFE: "I understand that DR..
('nraal1 birnca1f otr, 30
practice" Old doctor: Eyes; that is why
he succeeds. People who are able to walk
to an office are generally strong enough to
get well without help. '-NeW York Weekly.
LITTLE BOY: Our cook has gone away,
and I'm awful glad. Now mamma will
is always heavy" Guest: =" Well I de-
clare Do you prefer heavy cake?" Little
boy Yes'm. You get more chewing in
one piece"
" ARE you going to the game to-day,
Browne?" asked travelling man of a
should?" "why not?" I've got bawl
match at home. Twins five months old,
and an even score up to the present time. -
Merchant Trdyeler.
:" Oh, papa" said vivacous East Lib
erty girl; 1--WE want a good name for our
young ladies' club. Can you think of one
at once significant and appropriate"
.
How would 'Giddy 'uns' Band do?"-
PHtSburgh Chronicle.
Do you belong to the Salvation Army"
he asked of stern-visaged woman who
stood at his side. No, sir; | do not. But
in this generation of tired men," she added,
with whitening glance at the row of sit
ting males, " seem to belong to the stand
ing army" She got seat.-Bdzdr.
WHAT kind of a circus rig is that you've
got on?' asked the old man, as he came into
the store. "It's-it's blazer, sir ;" faltered
the young clerk. ooh, blazer, is it?
Well, if you don't get outside of it in two
minutes you can consider yourself fired. ~
Only minute was needed.-Terre Haute
Express.
MAN last Sunday was about to lay his
hand upon the door of the church, when a
little girl in the street said: "You can't
get in there, mister" Why not" he said,
"isn't this church," eyes" said the lit
tie girl, "but the preacher has gone to
Europe for six months and taken God with
him."-DetrOi Tribune.
Mrs. SKINNPHLINT (anxiously): James,
am alarmed about Johnny. He has been
away all the afternoon. l am afraid he is
lost" Mr. Skinnphlint: " It's more likely
only three weeks since had that boy vac
cinated." (Gloomily): "Cost me a dol
lar! "-ChicdgO Tribune.
THIS horse / bought of you, sir, find
has the string-halt in one of his hind legs"
Yes, sir If you want to exchange him
for horse that has a more symmetrical
action can let you have one that has the
string halt in both hind legs. No? Well, |
told you he was high stopper Good
day. Chicago Tribune.
Young MAN." said the rich member OF
the church to the new pastor, you ought
to have been apugilist instead of preacher, "
Why? | don't understand you, sir" re-
ha mi hn lltr
shocked and panied. "The explanation is
simple: it is desirable in pugilist to be
long-winded. "-Merchdnt Traveller.
GEORGE" said young lady, as she was
walking past the treasury department
" isn't it too bad that there's such surplus
in the governments hands?" yes" said
George, it's pretty rough" " But listen, -
she said as a street-sweeper rounded New
York avenue; "what is that queer noise?''
don't know" replied George, absently
maybe it's the cackling of the eagles that
are locked up inside there. - Washington
Cdpitai.
EMILY SoLDENE is English from her feet
up, mouth and all, and cockney English al
that. She can speak the language well
enough, but will occasionally drop an h, OF
air her broad cockney dialect. Once, when
she and DeWolf Hopper were dining to.
gether, she almost paralyzed him by calling
out: "Wyter, won't you poss me the
Hopper to the staring waiter Bring heI
green ones, and you will hit it either way!
stage.
WELL" said Uncle Hiram, who used
to belong to a singing-club in his early days
:" / never heard woman play like that
woman we heard in Boston that night. II
was just awful. My ears ache even now. >
Yes" replied his nephew, "she was
rather loud, that's fact. But then, her ex
ecuton--" George" exclaimed the old
gentleman, as he seized his nephew by the
arm, "you don't mean to say that they
went so far as that? Well, 'tisn't for me tC
judge them. I only heard her once. II
seems terrible-a woman, too. But then
they had to listen to her every night. AnC
they won't have to hear her again. Per
haps it is all for the best, George. boston
Transcript.
They tell us that photography is con I'M
into use among physicians. A series of in
Simultaneous pictures representing a gentle
man who is enjoying an attack of rheuma
tism would be exceedingly edifying. Tn
exact expression of his face when the agon,
starts in with a &" Hoopla!" and when it ha
tied him up in a bow-knot would be invalu