The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-11-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Bars to matrimony-The front gate.
Life insurance in some cases is merely
a matter Of policy.
The young man who is in love is con-
spicuous for his courtly manner.
A hero is man who refrains from eat
ing things that do not agree with him,
A man is not necessarily mean because
he will jump on feather bed when it is
down.
Some men are born rich, some achieve
riches and some get into fat government
offices.
Goes without saying--The young man
too bashful to pop the question: - Ieros
SJtings.
These times suit the scissors grinder.
He likes to find things dull.-Sdn Fran
cisco alta.
The stamp-window of any postofiiee is
sort of Lick observatory --ROciester
Post cypress.
A man is known by the company he
keeps. That's why she prefers TO be Il
sister TO him.
Men will strike for shorter hours, but
the earth continues to revolye at the same
old peed.--Jttdge.
Republics were ever ungrateful. We
put our great men on postage stamps, and
then punch their heads.
Because bald-headed man doesn't
happen to keep lock on his head doesn't
signify that there is nothing of value in it.
Cupid is doubtless known as the God
of Love in this day because the sentiment
of love has become largely a sentiment
of cupIdity.
Queen of Spain-"Good gracious!
The baby King has the stomach-ache. "
Lord Chamberlain (excitedly) y)-"Call the
Secretary of the Interior!"
The sunset fingered DER your hair"
Was what her ardent lover said;
But other maidens young and fair
Said, Gracious, but her hair is red
Washington Capital.
Fat Woman-"Oh, amt these mos
quitoes awful" Thin Woman-''They
never bite me- Fat Woman--'Of
course not, They live on blood, not
bones. Once Week.
Misunderstood. .-Pop-eyed Photog-
rapher about to remove the cap)--
"Look this way, please sitter-''Not
much, / wouldn't look like that in
picture for nothin' "-LigM.
1t is rumored that Queen Victoria
thinks of bestowing the Order of the
Bath on Thomas A. Edison. In order
TO make him feel perfectly at home, she
win probably make it an electric bath -
Pecl's SuH.
A Chicago bearded woman made a
snug fortune out of the show business in
about twelve years, and now lives in
comfortable luxury with his handsome
wife and five beautiful children. BiAg-
hamtOR Republican.
''I'm all broke up he sadly sighed,
AS he returned 20 town.
"A love affairf' NO" he replied;
"A hammock let me down"
-Bdzor.
Boston Man-''Well, my boy, how is
real estate in the West, activeln Drum
mer Gust back from Kansas Active!
Well, should say so. A cyclone car
ried a 150-aere farm forty miles the other
day. It's little too active for me. -
hsdfnsy Enterprise
A naughty little boy one day eluded
punishment by creeping under a table,
where his mother could not reach him.
Shortly after his father came in, and
when told the state of affairs crawled ON
his hands and knees in search of his son
and heir, when to his astonishment, he
was greeted with this inquiry: lis she
after you, too, fathers"
An Englishman has written book,
entitled: "Two Thousand Miles on .
Camel's Back. We believe we can beat
that in this country in half the space.
Let some one come out with "One Thou
sand Miles on Fence Rail. There are
lots of people who have had the expert
ence, with tar and feathers thrown in
gratis. Detroit Free Press