Thomas County cat., 1889-10-31


~ 6: :; 8; ! !;
" sailies Of wit. Iwas
assured that ten-dollar fiat, builded or
made ground-ground made of ashes and
what-not-in Harlem, was preferable to the
finest palatlal pile in the loveliest suburban
park.
/ had all the imperfections Of the train
service pointed out to me, and had my mind
ventilated on the subject Of the steepness
Of the prices of country produce in the
country, and was not allowed to remain in
ignorance Of the many drawbacks, imag'
mary or real, that diversity existence for
the man who dwells in the suburbs.
The only consolation offered me was that
might have done neworse-Imight have gone
to Brooklyn.
tions of my friends, departed, bag and
baggage, determined to enjoy the poetic
charms of pastoral life-and q low rent.
But this paper is designed rather to treat
of the houses have lived in than of coun.
try life in general
Ny first landlord was smooth-spoken
man, who could make you believe that wind
mills were first constructed Tor the manu-
facture of wind.
He told me that one man had occupied his
house ten years, and only left because he
had been offered Thousand dollar po-
sition in st. Louis.
He spoke with musical grace Of the great
chance to have nice garden on the place,
and told me how I could go forth and pluck
. fresh cucumber or tomato for breakfast
After had been settled there awhile,
the honeysuckles began to bloom on the
porch, and for every flower there was q
bee. And the bees would fly IN and circle
about my nose, knowing wouldn't strike
at them for fear of being stung. could
not strike at mosquito for fear Of offend
ing bee, and the result was that invaria-
bly, wore hat in the house, lest the top of
my head should become as full of holes as
porous plaster.
The windows were supplied with screens,
but it was impossible to keep the doors
shut. Every passing breeze would open
them, and ripple under the carpets, causing
them tn throb like theatrical ocean, FILL
ing the house with dust. And a swarm of
mosquitoes would come in every time. /
used to throw my hat through these
swarms, and then amuse myself looking
through the hole.
Another popularity OF the place was the
great sociability of the dogs They would
walk in through the wind-olvened doors, and
lie down to pleasant dreams OH the rugs, the
sofa, the beds, or wherever their fancies
led them.
One Of the greatest nuisances of the place
was the rattling Of the windows and the
banging of the shutters, a performance
which the windows and the shutters saved
up for the middle of the night.
To vegetables never matured. The
trouble was, they were not properly wa
tered, because the pump ran dry. was
obliged to have water carted by the
barrel and emptied into the cistern, and
then have it pumped into the tank Tho
man who did the pumping was always on
hand when the tank was full, and drunk
when it was empty. And that is the reason
the vegetables never reached perfection,
and had to so to New York when wanted
to take q bath.
made up my mind that should never be
the victim of a country landlord again. The
following year / moved to different local
ity, and placed my life in the hands of
landed proprietor, who impressed me as
He told me his house was very warm
one, and it was-during the summer. 1t
was so warm that the cellar stairs used to
perspire and become so slippery as to be un-
safe And in winter it was 80 cold that il
was impossible to heat some parts of it.
We moved the contents Of the parlor up
stairs, or, as we used to say, we moved the
parlor and dining room into the library,
and afterward took in a bed room, and let
all the heat into the one apartment. Then
we managed to keep warm by going to bed.
1t was place that would drive YOU to the
mountains for coolness in summer, and to
Florida for warmth in winter.
1t always used to shake when q train
went by, and there were certain parts of
the floors that used to work like q spring
board.
One day an old man called. and after
awhile waxed reminiscent in his remarks.
He said that the house was builded on
pond, and that in his youthful days he had
caught bullfrogs and brindled perch nj
about the location of the dining room table.
He told me how he had pulled swapping
turtle out Of the pond with shinney- stick,
near the front door, and how he used to dive
OF q fallen tree, the roots of which were
over there near the parlor windows.
When told my landlord Of these facts at
our next meeting he was drmbfounded. He
had never heard any thing about the pond
before: and, being q man full to the brim Of
Christian charity, contented mybelf
with the belief that he had heard Of the
pond, but that It had completely slipped his
memory.
But, at the same time, I moved - soon -
the period Of my lease had expired.-Puck.
Cause for Anxiety.
Car-wheel Manufactures tpasseuRer In
fast express train which il making . long
ssop-What are you striking thoso wheels
fors
Man With Hammer-To SEQ il they are
sound yet.
Csr-Theel Manufacturer tnervously)-i
WelA please don't hit 'em quite 20 hard.-
n. Y. Weekly.
6yDpostan - Coateanlals,
n-