St. Paul daily globe., 1889-03-17

Oh Tile State, Wnon It's provisions became
adequately known and its workings be-
came familiar to them, not less than
$1,O00,000 per year, which is now paid
for valueleSS, undesirable and some
times harmful adulterationS present in
our daily food. AS a measure of sani-
tary reform; as an advance in the direc-
tion of the ideal government, namely,
that which protects in every way the in
terests of its citizens; as measure for
saving to the people of the state their
hard-earned money, and for protecting
them against that hidden and invisible,
yet omnipreSent imposition and fraud,
food adulteratiOn, this bill is deserving
the favor and support Of every legiSla-
tor and of every citizen of our state.''
Stretches FROM THE STREET
The owners OF the Metropolitan hotel
are trying very hard to get j. b. Baker
to give up the Clifton and take the
Metropolitan. They say that he is the
most popular hotel man in the city, and
can make the new house pay better
than any one they know. They have a
fine hotel, and are determined to fur
nish it and rent 1t to the best man they
can find. Strong pressure is being
brought On Mr.. Baker to induce hlm to
take it.
There are two hotels in this city stu
ated not a thousand miles from the new
court house. Between them is one
story cigar store, over which is space.
The windows of the two hotels open
onto this court and are about twelve
feet apart. A few nights ago party
OF young men were playing an uproari-
GUS game of poker in one of the hotels,
and were disturbing the SlumberS of an
old gentleman in the other. As he lay
swearing inwardiy he heard loud noise,
and jumping up, was just in time to
see a policeman enter the room
opposite and cause scattering among
the poker players, one Of whom was so
sc red that he threw up the window
and jumped for that from which the
aforesaid old gentleman was gazing.
Not being an athlete, he just missed the
sill and fell with a crash upon the roof
OF the cigar store, where he lay for
while pondering how he was to get out
of the hole. By means of ropes and
other assistance his comrades hauled
him up, and he is now careful how he
sits down.
"This weather is very disagreeable,"
said Deputy Clerk Egan, of the district
court yesterday as he urgeds the stove
to perform its functions with a report
er'S cane-regardleSs of the damage to
the cane. '1t StagnateS everything.
People will not marry, and what is still
more surprising, it seems to check the
flood of scandalous divorce suits that
have been varied verdict of that great
trial of that still greater question, rs
marriage failure?'' Only two co uples
nttlra 70 &al- hn or
toward an eventual divorce during the
past two days, They were married
yesterday. The fees of this office de-
pend largely upon the matrimonial
mania, and if we can tap the overflow
ing hearts of a dozen couples day, we
can line the till pretty well. If chr0moS
didn love, marry and divorce, where
on earth would the Office of clerk of the
courts 90 to? During the months of
November and December litigation was
at Its height. Then creditors cleaned
up the muSty accounts which had ac-
cumulated during the past year, but
after the first of the year it dropped
materially.''
The sheriff's business is much lighter
this year than it was a year ago. This
only shows that business in general is
conducted outside of the courts, which
is most evident sign of smooth, peace
able prosperity, with few descriptions.
*%
The court house janitor, poor old
soul, is sick, and pitlable aff1iction is
his. The symptoms of his illness are
those of q man who has hOd of coal
lodged in the left ventIicle of his heart.
''ls 1t any wOnder?' remarked a jury
man, as he dragged himself from the
jury box: ''the poor fellow, who now lies
cOiled up like bundle of barb wire, is
suffering with the epidemic now raging
about the wooden benches of the court
rooms whenever the wet weather
crowds them with gentlemen of mud
leisure and the cilaw terbacker
fiendS. 1t is noxious court effluvia, and
the only cure in the world is a liberal
dose of new court house, which, thank
heaven, will soon be administered to
suffering judge and litigantS, to say
of the Blackstonian discipies.''
~
There's one peculiar quality
About our aristocracy.
1t lies in their advocacy
Of marriage infidelity.
The girls are getting veiy free,
The boys are so consistently.
Our wives are very rapidly
Becoming each divorcee.
Our chums are filling willingly
The role of co-respOndency,
And judge in court, and cen jury.
Conspire from us our wives to free.
Some other fellow presently
Will jump into the soupy sea-
That shoaly sea, matrimony.
A year or two they lovingly
Bill and coo, until they see
Some other person they fancy,
And then they find they can't agree,
And, as divorce is easily
Obtained, they get brief Decree
Which separates them for fee.
They plunge again most recklessly
Into the whirl of jollity,
But soon they take new fancy
And, thoughtless, marry instantly.
1t gives the clergyman a fee,
The same for judge and referee;
What other use. do not see,
Is left for marriage. 1t may be
That matrimonial ssnctity
Exists i'll some locality.
But where it is is carefully
Concealed. No more I'll sing to thee