St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-07-22
AN EASTERN SUCKER
Looking for Postal Gard Lots Or
the Duluth Bluffs.

New Haven capitalists seem to have
rather gamY regard for some of st.
Paul's right hand pillars, who do the
real estate hustle act between the street
corners and heaven. Wells Campbell,
prominent speculator, gentleman of
leisure and base ball devotee, of New
Haven and environS, happened to lose
himself the other day while attending
an auction sale of WatermelOnS, held
just outside of the police beats of that
fair city. While thus dismayed he I'M
consciously boarded a train for st. Paul,
arriving here Tuesday last. He
has great deal of property here,
and a half interest in pne u
matte tube 'sscheme"' which
was designed by those all-wise South
Park and California aldermen, to extend
from blamed poor hindSight. through
narrow foresight, thence to Minneap-
oils, after which it was to go, the Lord
only knows where. Well, Mr.. Camp
bell being one of the best of fellows,
finding himself thus surrounded by his
heavy interests, all of which he had
purchased from 'blue prints" and
''postal cards." he took matters as they
came and set about to look up some of
these very mysterious lots and ascertain
how near he was right when he smeared
his profit and loss account Oh the left
side the first of the year.
Said he to a GLOBE reporter, who
slept with him one memorably hilarious
night last week: .sWhiIe st. Paul was
rocking in the throeS of wild and frantic
real estate and horse trading booms l
was making up my mind to keep away.
There came letter. however, from
friend, which was coached in such con-
vincing and seductive language about
the golden, silver and other opportuni-
ties of st. Paul that | actually answered
it. The letter stated that the writer
had a DEAL mind you, deal, which
would make my head swim or wear the
hair off of a surgeons back. Think of
it! Off of a surgeons back!' Ever
see sturgeon as he plays and dances
an'-eh?'' Not at the Grand, and l
don't believe at the Peoples
mo, no; you misunderstood me. A
sturgeon, you know, is tish-swims in
the water, and so forth"
"Oh, no! l see-that's so. A sturgeon
and the water always go together.
Humph."
"Well, 1 seut him the drafts and 1
got a deed for the - lots. He said
they were near the stock yards or Du-
luth, | don't know which-any way,
that makes no difference. l thought. of
course, made rich deal l took the
deeds and put them into my cellar,
down where keep the family dog and
my private safe.
''Now just think back and recall
where my real estate friend said some
thing in his letter about heads SWIM
ming hair on a surgeons back OPP
portunities.' etc. When l reached ST
Paul Tuesday, got some information
from a policeman at so much per. Then
| took some lunch, clean shirts and
extra pair of shoes and field glass, and
started out to find those lots You see
| was determined-my friend having
gone to California, Los Angeles, be-
lieve-fer his health.
Thursday afternoon at 4 o'clock my
guide told me we would surely be
there by Friday morning if the water
didn't raise. Friday morning we
reached the destination called for in my
deed. 1 stood still moment, like a
horse when he thinks he will balk.
Then l looked at my guide, then at my
watch, then at the waves as they reck-
lessly tossed about and rolled over
those lots Since men were out in a
coffin dragging for the dead body of
dog, the frogs didn't show any respect
for the rights of owners i'll fee simple.
Then asked the guide how lar l was
from Larimore, OAK, and threatened to
shoot him if he didn't tell the truth, the
whole truth. and nothing but the truth,
so help me Grote's tivoli. Just then a
sprinkling cart backed up and extracted
load from those lots l thought l
read a sign on its breast like this:
South Duluth, West Superior, Oneota
and ST. Louis County Irrigation COM
pany; Tall, Particle & Co., propri-
etors.'" ''Wenchu git back?" said the
scribe. "Just as / arrived, and Pm off
for Connecticut again. Here's my
card, old boy, and the id deed for
those lot"