Evening journal., 1889-08-13
ITEMS OF INTEREST

KIND hearted grocer (handing frosted
coolSy to customers little girl)-"Yor
like to help mamma buy groceries, don'l
you, Totf' Tot (wearily pocketing the
| present) mo, thir, but have to. Got
to go to FIVE or thickth more platheth
! yet. | thpect, fore mamma thnkth I've
got enough goodieth like thith for thup
per. Chicago Tribune.
-
THE confidence Of people who have tried
Hoods Sarsaparilla, in this preparation,
| Is remarkable. 1t has cured many who
have failed to derive any good whatever
| from other articles. For diseases caused
by impure blood or low state of the sys-
tenn it is unsurpassed
-
PROSPECTIVE Tourist-"Im going
| West because | have reason TO believe
that it's great place TO settle in. Re
turned Tonrist-"I'm not so sure of that
lived there ten years myself, and never
paid a bill while was there. "-Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
-
Two squares from Market, on Seventh
street, is q cigar house that has led IL
quantity and quality and price for the
last twelve years. II is utterly impossi
BILE even by the MOST astute to know why
anybody and everybody don't walk that
distance to save ten, twenty and thirty
per cent. But let one man make the
effort to day, and another tomorrow, and
rest assured they'll all follow.
-
FIRST Shopping Lady-"Was that a
clerk or the proprietor we traded within
Second Shopping Lady-"A clerk, Ger
tainly. Didn't you notice he said "I''
have this and that line Of goods. The
proprietor always says I'VE. Omaha
World.
-
Ross has removed from l16 Market
street to his new store 210 Market with a
large stock Of latest styles of Hats, White
Shirts, Neckwear, Hosiery, Underwear
and Notions at the lowest city prices
Money returned If goods are not sstisfac
tory
BEeaAR (after being given piece Of
bread)-"May God reward you Thousand
times Mistress Cook !" Cook--"That is
a great deal too much; am satisfied with
one time. 'Ah Then for the rest you
can give me some cheese. Wasp.
~
FEHRRNBAcH's and Stoeckles Beers.
Foord Bottling Co.
-
HE--What would you do II / were to
offer TO give you a kissl She-See If my
little brother is under the sofa. Boston
Herald.
RoBT Smiths India Pale Ale, Xxx
Brown Stout, Foord Bottling Co.
-
THK difference between rye whiskey
and chloroform is that one makes a man
stagger and the other makes him limp. ~
Puck.
TAyLoR's or Hires Root Beer, Is cents.
For summer coughs or asthma McInall's
Syrup of Tar gives speedy relief Dan.
forth, druggist, Second and Market
streets.
Mr. BLAIsE-'I know I'm not what
the world calls good man, Lucille, but
/ love you and if you'll only marry me
! III reform. Lucille-'If you love me
what the matter with reformatory
and save me the pains and expenseg-
Judge.
PRICES Of lots at Creston are still very
low, and those who buy now will reap
the profits; So monthly. Office, 7l2
Market street.
-
MRS BRowN-"Come here this mo-
ment Johnniel | must punish you for
sliding down the banisters Little
Johnnie-"please, ma, didn't you just
tell me not TO make a noise running
down stairs2' Judge.
-
WATCHES and Jewelry at Millard +
Davis, No East Second street
-
PEASANT (after having thoroughly
thrashed an ox)-"See. now, If you were
not SO obstinate we might live together
like two brothers, '--Fliegende Batter
-
BEReNER Engel "Tannhaeuser" Beer
Foord Bottling Co.
''WE are all worms, said the preacher
In his sermon. Little Bobby, who wa.
following the discourse attentively
whispered to his mother Then that:
the reason why the great big fish swal
lowed Jonah, isn't it2--Portland (Me
| Pres.
DIR. DEHARnT's pennyroyal pills 81
Sold by druggists also by mail. BOB N
Ninth street, Philadelphia. Ladies be
ware Of imitationsg