The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-22
BRIGHT BITS.

JONES, a chronic bore, telling about an acc-
dent in which a man was drowned, said: at
happened in less time than take to tell it."
Il guess so; otherwise the man might have
bee2 rescued replied a disguised listener
yawning.-Terds SVtings.
He KEPT STATIONARY AT INrERvA1s.-Tourist
ITO keeper of general merchandise store-an old.
tlmer)-Howdy do, saht Do you keep station
cry heahg
''Wa'al, l generally keep stationary 'cept
when I'm movin'. "-HdrDer's Bazaar.
Mrs. OLDBoY-O, you needn't talk, John
You was bound to have me. You can't say that
ever ran after you.
Oldboy-Very true, Maria, and the rat trap
never runs after the mouse, but it gathers him
In all the same Boston Transcript.
FIRST BRITIsHER lat a Gla1stonian meeting)-
What's the matter, Jem, you don't seem to be
very enthusiastic for home rule?
Second BrltiSher-No, William, | amt, that's a
fact. You see, I've been married for nigh on
forty Philadelphia Inquirer.
JoHNNY-I wonder why can't make my Kite
fly?
Elder Sister-Perhaps the caudal appendage
is disproportionate to the superficial area
don't think that's it, | believe there isn't
weight enough on the tail.-TexaS S9tings.
ADO you know that Jones is going to
marry Miss Duzenberry?
B.-IeS, so ! hear. What surprises me is
that such an intelligent girl would ever have
anything to do with a man who is so stupid as
to want to make her his wife.-TerdS Stftings.
FIRST BURGLAR ION the outside)-I say, jim,
shall come in and help yer to carry out the
swag?
Second burglar within in a disguised tone)-
No, Tom, yer needn't mind This yere room
belongs to one OF them there four-dolar dudes
Philadelphia Inquirer.
FATHER-Young man you have asked me for
my daughter in marraGe what makes you
think you can support o wife?
Young MAXWELL have supported her head
on my shoulder for about two years, three
nights per week, and 10 her satisfaction.
have no fears for the future.-KeGrney Enter
prise.
ScENE-A Police k-Constable-And the
prisoner said, yer honor, as how somebody had
blown the gaff.
His Honor-What does that means
Constable-Why. given him away, yer honor.
His Honor-Aud what may that mean?
Constable-Why, rounded on him, sir.
His Honor-l am Still ignorant of your mean
ing, my man.
Constable-Why, yer honor he meant as how
somebody had peached on him-squealed, yer
honor.-F'Ln.
He STEPPED-In our last issue we called atten-
ton TO the fact that William Parton, famiiarly
known as "Baldheaded Bill " had succeeded in
securing the nomination for alderman of the
Second ward on the peoples reform ticket. We
didn't go much on the reform business to begin
with, and We went considerably less on William.
We kindly mentioned the fact to him that he
W IS an Old Soaksr. q man who never paid a
debt, and that he escaped the indictment for
stealing the bridge funds by a flaw In a
brotherly way we asked MIN TO step down and
out, but instead of needing our well-meant adj
vice he came hunting for us with a shotgun.
Then we had to exhibit certain documents to
| the good people to prove that Williams true
home was IN state prison, and it was decided &c
get move on IN. Some one gave the snap
| away, however, and he was mile or more away
| when the people called at his cabin and ask I'd
him to some out and play pendulum. We are
heavy on genuine reform in politics, but we
| can't be IN de to believe that the way to begin
| it is TO nominate thief for office.-Arizoao
| Kicker in Detroit Free Press.