The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1889-01-10
THAT FUNNY DRAWERS CASE.
The United States Supreme Justices
Couldn't Help Laughing

Couldn't Help Laughing.
The Washr gton correspondent Of the
N. y. Herald gives the following account
of the scene in the United States Supreme
Court on Wednesday during the argn.
ment of the drawers patent case: If the
Supreme Court had been transferred to
the stage of theatre ard to-day 8 pro-
ceedings advertised the sign standing
room only would have been visible, before
the curtain went up, and when the last act
of the drama had been concluded it is fair
to assume that the entire company would
have had to respond to the enthusiastic
calls Of the audience. Hilarity reigned
supreme in the court room. The usually
sedate and solemn justices gave way be-
fore the wit and humor of counsel and
were conyulsed with laughter, ard the
walls OF the courtroom rang merrily. The
fun began when the clerk announced case
No. 135-R. IL. Anderson, appellant, vs..
Henry I. Miller & Co.-and Jno. S. Wise,
ex congressman from Virginia arose TO
state the case in behalf OF the appellant.
1t involves the validity of patent for
patch intended to reinforce drawers in the
crotch. Mr.. Wise is bright, witty,
young lawyer, bubbiing over with good
spirits. and with a mobility of counte-
nance riyaling that of the best of come
diaDs. He seized at once upon the oppor-
tunity for display of his talents as a fun
maker, and with anecdote, sarcasm and
kept the court, justices, lawyers.
spectators, and all in roar. Mr.. Wise
began by reading from his brief the opin
ion of Judge Hughes, of the United States
Circuit Court OF the eastern district OF
Virginia, in The case. This opinion is
remarkable for its leyity.
Judge Hughes said it was patent for
a patch upon drawers, extending from the
crotch and up in split form to the waist
band in front. Of course it is a patch
upon new drawers before worn. One of
The merits is that it strengthens. or to use
the euphemism of the patent office, rein
forces the drawers at the crotch, where
is most likely to occur.
Then. as a statement Of his reasons why
he did not believe a patent should be
granted for this improvement, Judge
Hughes says:
'It strikes me that a patent for patch
upon drawers, designed to remedy the
evils of rip ard tear to which they are
Il ia lo in tho apOf nj Onnft n va
teen granted, int erferring, as it must
necessarily do, with the pTerogatiye Of the
housewives of tile civilized world to patch
the drawers Of their husbands, fathers
and sons freely in their own way. with no
patentee 10 modest OR make them afraid.
at is impossible that the patches be
novel as to the simple matter of strength
anlng the seams and material of drawers
In the immediate region of the crotch; for
if drawers do continually give way there
wives of civilized society not TO admit
that for hundreds of years they have teen
in the habit of patching the garment and
''the forks thereof by tapping the seams
and reinforcing the rents in that region.
AS to the disorders Of mems drawers in
and near the crotch, which have troubled
housewives for centuries, | do not think
any person in our day or generation can
employ patch for the purpose of pre-
venting or durlng them that can have
any real novelty.
''Mr. Wise dilated upou this opinion at /
length, ard with inimIab.e gesture and
warned the justices of the i'm
portance of the case to tie feminine por-
ton of the community, and of the wrath
that was impending over them. Cunclud-
ing he said the case resembled the game
faro.
There is this difference, however,
said the speaker. In faro the dealer gets
all the splits and in this the splits are
all against the dealer AT this sally the
court lost all likeness to its usually SER
ious and dignified self. The laughter be-
came boisterous, and every one gave way
freely to his feelings. Chief Justice Full
Ter could not restrain himself and almost
fell out of his chair Justice Harlan
huge form and big. rosy. round face be-
came conyulsed with laughter until it
became almost apoplectic. Justice Gray
made strong effort to preserve the dig
nifty of the court, but he, too, was COM
PEELED to succumb and join in the general
merriment.'
q Lack shall nine and Gill shall danca,1