Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-07-25
A MODERN SOLOMON.
How He Won the Undying Love
 of Womanhood.

Rough-and-Ready Decisions Handed Down
 by a Philadelphia Justice of the Peaco
 A Woman's Right t, "snss'
 Hcr Lesser Half
 IA woman has right to sass her hus- 1 band.'
 IA man who has lived for six years with 8 woman who has tongue like bell-clap per has had full share of punishment"
 Tho Solomon who utters these decisions, which have a smattering of common sense if not of law, is big bluff Magistrate Bob Smith. His correct name, says the Phil adelphia Record, is Robert R. Smith, but he is addressed by his full name only by utter strangers. From one end of the city to the other he is known as Bob"
 t'Bob doesn't care so much for the law, but he goes in for justice. The place for him is in the common pleas or in the Su- preme Court We want less law and more justice these days, and that's where he's strong,'' said ono of the habitues of po- lice headquarters.
 This opinion is shared by all the ire quenters Of Fifth and Chestnut, and each year adds to the luster which the upright justices decisions have given to the Gen. tral station ermine. He has been holding court there on and oil for nearly fifteen years, and previous to that time he dis pensed even-handed justice as an alderman. No magistrate is 50 well known in Phila- delphia, and the fame of his decisions and judicial utterances has been carried to dis tant States. The magistrate is of sturdy frame, with a ruddy face and bright eyes, and he speaks in sharp, of hand way that carries terror to the evil-docr. He has passed the half-century mark by several years, but carries his age with careless, easy grace, and still delights in red neck ties and button-hole bouquets.
 The especial antipathy of the judge Is wife beater or husband who has in other ways been remiss in his marital relations. His language to such offenders is severe.
 'You big, hulking brute," he said to one of those creatures awhile ago, 'its pity the whipping-post was ever abolished. Fellows like you ought to be tied up and lashed."
 The judge Is an ardent advocate of the restoration of the whipping-post for certain offenses committed by men, and it has been said that he also favors return to the | duc1ing- g-staol as method of punishment for women of unruly tongue. He looks upon common scold as being almost as bad as wife-beater.
 "Now shut up and get out of here, all of you p he has been heard to say when a lot of wrangling women get to squabbling and bandying words in the sacred precincts of his court. ''I've heard all want to from you. Skip now, or I'll put you under bail" But the most recent decisions of the magistrate have won for him the undying love of womanhood. He has decided that it IS woman's right to ''sass" her husband The occasion of this queer decision arose from suit broughtlby an uptown woman against her husband.
 "He beat mo until was black and blue," the woman testified.
 "What did you do that for, you brute?" said the justice.
 "She sassed me-" replied the husband. "Well, 9 woman has Q right to sass her l husband," retorted Justice Smith. "Find
 s1,ooo bail: Madame, you go home and | leave this fellow to me-" The ink had scarcely dried on the decis- | ion in this case when another attracted the 1 attention of the justice. A woman with a rather lively tongue appeared against man 1 she called her husband. The fellow was as | meek as Moses, and about twenty-five years older than the woman. She started l of with her story at 1S0-words-a-minute l gait
 stHold on l' cried the magistrate. s'He's beast," said the woman.
 "How long have you been married to that 1 tongue?" asked the justice. ''Six years" replied hls meekness in the dock.
 l "You've been punished enough. Open the 1 gate and let him go," said Smith. 1 If there Is one point more than another
 upon which the justice brides himself it is
 his memory of the faces of criminals and others who have stood before him at the bar
 of justice, thunders at 8 culprit whom he thinks he | has seen before in his court. l "Why, judge, I never served time," the l trembling wretch answers, in all proba- bility.
 ssHold up your forks" uhe criminals
 slang for hands).
 Taken by surprise, the prisoner often l holds up his hands, showing conclusively l that he understands the jargon, and is in all probability criminal. The crooked class ali fear the justice, and would sooner meet caged lion, He can address hun dreds of them by their first names, and l when he does not know 1t he frequently pretends that he does in spirit of pleas | antry.
 | Beginning life as machinist, Judge | Smith in these latter years has turned his 1 attention to agriculture, and Is famous as a l gentleman farmer at North Wales, on the | North Penn railroad. He carries into farm l ing the same direct methods that have dis tinguished him as a justice, and sometimes uses his knowledge of farming with great effect in his court.
 "So you are farm hand, are youa" he has been known to say to some unfortunate
 brought before him at Fifth and Chestnut
 streets, and who has given that as his occu- patton. ''Well, now, how would you irrigate l field of rutabagas7"
 This generally has the effect of breaking
 up the supposed farm hand, and the judge
 smiles triumphantly at his unmasking of
 such deception.
 | Curing 3 Nervous Horse.
 ABrooklyn horse lately suffered an injury I to one of his feet, and for some time trav-
 eled on three legs. Finally the wound was