Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-06-13
DIFFERENT KINDS OF SLEEP
All Sorts and Varieties Described by s
HumOrlst Who Has Apparently Trie(
Them All.
Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.

Burdette In Brooklyn Eagle
The siesta is the short sleep after din
ner and Is minutes worth of il is one of
the best daily investments of time busy
man or woman can make. When you
haven't time to take siesta it is about
time you went off and died somewhere.
Slumber is the light sleep, varied by
startling facial contortions and sudden
spasmOdic motions of the limbs, accom-
panied by compulsory silence all over the
house, which is thu est of infants. In
sOmnia is sleeping wide awake in a state
of irritable imbecility. It is the common
lot of actresses and literary people who
are in need of rest Or advertising. 4
crap" is the passing rest OF a school
teacher VINO is just far enough 'goDe" to
appear deceitful, and wide enough awake
TO catch the smart boy who thinks that all
things are what they seem. A "doz8" Is
the hideous sleep of q man who goes TO
sleep with his eyes wide open while you
are talking TO him, fixing upon you
CLASSY stare that curdles your blood and
makes you forget what you were trying
to say. Then he wakes up and says,
idioticaliy: Eyes, yes; just so; served him
quite right; and then?" To Gust drop
off for a second" is the term applied by
asleep in church with ones head hang
ing over the back of the pew, the mouth
wide open aud the operator snoring like
house afre until the deacon hits aim On
the head with collection basket, or the
choir rises to sing the last hymn. Nod
ding" il church is Sleeping clear through
the entire sermon, bat without snoring,
and With lead bowed OF the back of the
pew In front, as though in PRAYER. No
body in the whole church, by the way,
thinks it remotely resembles the attitude
of prayer except the person who is "nod
ding" To jam yourself up against your
fathers back, kick him black and blue
from withers TO hook, crowd him out OF
bed twice or thrice during the night, and
to lie habitually across the middle of the
bed, is the "sound Sleep of boyh hood. To
make terrific noises with the nose all
night long while lying like log in one
position is the ''sGeet Sleep" OF the labor
ing man, who never gives his nose holi-
day. TC puuctuate ones slumber by
sudden blood-curdliDg yells in the middle
of the night is called sleeping" by people
who quaff fsgon of the New England
national drink called pie for a night cap
just before going to sleep. To lose sound
of the voice of the person addressing you,
TO have the room pass in a misty blur
before your eyes and TO sink into utter
oblivion for about 10 minutes, is Gale
"yawning" by very polite people. To
fall off the chair and rouse yourself BY
knocking your head against corner of
andirons is what some people call just
''closing the eyes" To feel alittle "drow-
sy" is the term applied 20 his condition
by the man who sleeps seven stations
past the place where he wants TO get off.
If be doesn't wake till some time the next
dag he admits that he was Sleepy" To
fold the hands upon the breast, nestle the
head in the folds of a snowy pillow,
strsighten the shapely limbs and arrange