The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-02-13
BRIGHT BITS.

POSSIBLY the wall flower might be called the
night-blooming Standardization Post.
"CAN you tie true lovers knot my dear9'
inquired Merritt
''Fo." replied Mamie hiding her bushes with
her fan; but our new clergyman can do it
very nicely '-Hdrper's Bdzdr
GEN. HARRIsoN's newly purchased horse. for
use In Washington is named Bill" He should
democratic members Of the House, no matter
how fast their nags might be, wouldn't pass
him. -NOrrSt0Cn Herald.
THE infant class teacher was trying to bring
out the fact that David was man of varied oc-
cupation. The question was asked: What
do you call man who PLAYS on harp" A
voungster quickly answered: IAN Italian. :"
Then a new topic was introduced.-Boston
Be3con.
STRANGER--C,olonel, am private detective
and en- about to open an office in your city, and
Should like your
Col Boiver Ia native Kentuckian)-Wastin
your time, sab, westin it. Thar are no privates
here to detect, sab; nuthin' less than captains,
sab, an mighty few Of them Time.
Mrs, KATE NJ SPRAGuE. in a recent lecture.
says that "one Of the most important acts of
life is n breathe. There are few who will ques,
ton the truth OF this statement When a man
stops breathing he is of very little importance
in this wo Id. Breathing is as essen ial to a
mans health as eating. -NorristosOn Herald.
Mrs. GEN. HARRISON left her husband at
tour. She was accompanied as far as Philadel-
phia by John WanamakeT, who sells everything
under the sun woman could want. Perhaps
Mr. Wananaker doesn't lvertise in the daily
papers taken by Gen. Harrison?-NOrYiStocn
Herald
PoLICEMAN-Come young woman, you must
not loter here after the audience has dispersed.
Young Woman-Please sir, l have business
here.
Polceman-Well, what is it?
Young Woman tblQShlng)-I am thp-fha
young lady THAT'S engaged to the automaton
chess player. and am waiting for him to take
me home.-Amertcd.
PLUMBERS WIFE--I should like to counter
mand the order for those fve-karat earrings If
it is not too late.
Jeweler-Certaiuly, madam. Something finer.
suppose.
Plumbers wife-Weu, hardly NV husband
thinks that this winter has been little too warm
for diamonds. I'll take pair of those plated
cuff buttons. - zoe erS Weekly.
SIGN PAINTER-You want a sign English
Chop-House' over your door do you?
Propretor-Yay; dot vos id-"English Chop
House.
DO you want any extracts from the bill Of
fare painted in?'
Yah: dot vas Won good idea Baint on de
boad: Hot Sassage. Peer, und Limburger
Cheese. , r. Philadelphia Record
"You are duck" said the Young doctor
playfully, but with an air Of earnestneSs withal
Yes" she said, for it was she, but" drop
ping her eyes timdly but what is duck with
out quac-" But he fled without waiting to
hear the rest, and now when they meet he looks
over the top of her head With the wandering
uncOncerned al OF a brother, and she deports
herself to hmward as n long lost sister who has
mis- aid her straw berry marx and therefore can
not recognize herself for Lim.-Burdette
BLoBsoN-Ha, ha! Here's an article which
says that before the close of the nineteenth cen
fury we shall women running locomotive
engines on our railroads.
Mrs. Blobson--Well, why not? Don't you
think they would make good ones?
Mr.. Blobson-ln some respects, perhans
They would keep a good lookout ah lad, any
way.
Mrs Blobson-Whv 50?
Mr.. Blobson-B ecause they would have their
heads out of the cab window all the time 10
show their new bonnets.-Bupljngton free
Press
A TRUE MORAL DISTINCTION James, " said
the grocer, as he looked up from the MORNING
paper, they have begun to make maple sugar
in Vermont already
Yes, sir, " said the clerk with ready compre-
hension. "Those maple sugar bricks left over
from last year are down cellar. I'll have them
sandpapered and put in the front window to
morrow morning
Have you the same sign you had last year
to stick up in the boxy''
Ives. II reads Fresh from Vermont, strictly
pure"
"You may use that sign again. James. I
don't think II would be exactly right to paint
new one with that inscription. 49, Chicago Tn
buAe