davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
Insects That Are Our Friends.

While destroying insects we often
come upon those-sometimes larvP,
sometimes pupr-which look black and
diseased; these are harboring our insect
friends and so should not be destroyed.
Again, many larve, like those of the
cabbage caterpillars, tomato and grape
sphinxes, are frequently seen with whit
ish or yellowish egg-like masses thickly
covering the back; these little bodies are
cocoons of parieitic flies, and so should
never be destroyed. OF predacious in
sects most likely to be killed are the
wasps. All the wasps are predictions,
and do great good in killing insect pests.
The dread of wasps is needless, as they
rarely sting if molested. Not only vel
low jackets and the large white faced
wasps usually called white faced horn
nets, but the solitary mud-wasps or
saud-wasps (Which are usually black, or
black and brown, or blue black or blue
are also friends, as they kill and devour
hosts of our worst insect pests. The
ground beetles, which are usually black.
with long legs, fitted for running, are
also good friends. They destroy hosts of
cutworms, white grubs, etc. These
ground beetles are often seen in grass,
under stones and boards; their black
color and long legs and undermining
habit makes It easy to identify them.
The little yellow, rounded ladybird bee
tie are also predacious and very valua-
BILE These are often orange, and many
spec es have black dots upon their backs.
These beetles feed upon plant-lice and
other insects and should never be de
stroyed Not only do the beautiful little
beetles feed upon insects, but the elon-
gated gru5s or larve are equally our
friends. l have often received these
ladybird beetles from those who found
them in the house and feared they might
be the carpet beetle. The buffalo carpet
beetle is hardly larger than a pinhead,
and so need never be mistaken for these,
or these for them. -Nelo York TriiUas.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
Avoiding Pnhlicilr

Eminent Statesman walking up to re.
porter)-"My face is familiar to you,
presumed
Reporter-'I have certainly seen you
somewhere, and yet cannot exactly"
Eminent There is no use
In trying to keep anything from the
watchful eye of reporter. You recog-
nize me, of course, as Congressman
Blank"
Reporter-"Why, so it is May / in
guire sir, the object of your visit to our
localityi'
Eminent Statesman with dignity
You may say, sir, that am travelling
through here in a quiet way, aud as far
as possible avoiding publicity" -
Chicago Tribune.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
AnUnfortunnte Recocnition

The minister's wife sat on the front
porch mending the clothes of one of her
numerous progeny. A neighbor passing
stopped in for a social chat. A large
work basket. half full of buttons, sat on
the feor of the porch. After various re-
marks of gossipy nature the visitor
said:
"You seem to be well supplied with
buttons, Mrs. Goodman
Eyes; very well indeed"
''My gra eiousl If there amt two Of
the same buttons my husband had on his
last winter suit. I'd know 'em any
where"
Indeed" SAID the minister's wife,
calmly. Il am surprised to hear it, as
all these buttons were found in the on
tribution box. So thought I might as
well put them to some use, so WHAT
must you got Well, be sure to cell
again. y Nest Point Alliance.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
The Origin of Halloo and Hurrah.

Among other EXPLANATIONS in common
use ''Haloo - and "Hurrah r' have curl
GUS origins attributed to them. 1t Is
said by the author of 1.-THE Queens
English" that the people of Charnwood
Forest, Leieestershre, when they de.
sired to hail person at a distance called
out not halloo" but "halloupm This
he imagines is a survival of the times
when one cried to another "a loup
a loup.n or as we would now say
"Wolf wolf ~ "Hurrah!" again &C
cording to NJ. Littre, is derived from the
slavonic huraj, ITO Paradise" which
signifies that all soldiers who fell fighting
valiantly went straight to heaven.
''Prithee" is obviously a corruption of
81 pray thee" while marry was
originally a method of swearing by the
Virgin Mary.-4N the Year Round,
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

James 5 Bsbeock, Of Chicago, who
VII forfeit 500, 900 left him by his
uncle 10 case he does not marry within
I've years, has received two offers OF
marriage BY cable from Nottingham,
England. He now says he will submit
eli applicants for msrrisge with him to
competitive examination according to
the rules Of civil service reform. He
says Il viii have rules Of competition
formulated, with questions to be az
sWcred and judges to decide Tor a set of
commissioners, Is Lore is blind. No man
in my position is competent 10 pass upon
50 important g question, especially when
] an 50 much interested, and thus it will
relieve me Of an Immense amount Of
doubt and trouble. and would more
surely gam me q good wife, happiness.
fortune, ETC."
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

Strawberries Strawberries Nice,
fresh strawberries Z" cried a street buck.
ster from his cart on a street in East
Boston the other day.
Up went windows, doors few open
and eager women's faces appeared every
where, attracted by the cry.
"What's that2 Strawberries /" cried
one woman, as the cart drew near.
excuse me, madame" said the buck
ster, blandlY, 81 was about to say when
you interrupted me, that nice fresh
strawberries are not on the market at
this time of the year, but if you are in
need of any nice, fresh fish, have here
some fine ones which l am selling -"
There was a sound like another BIer-
camille street explosion, but it was only
a window closing suddenly.-BOston
Globe.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
The Wrong House

Tramp thinking to obtain sympathy
"a say, mum, I amt got nowhere that
1 kin call home, and I amt eat nuthin'
all day. Would you mind it, mum, if
slep' in the snow here until mornin'a"
Lady of the House (who knows 'em)
NO, | amt got any OBJ ections. You
can drop down there anywhere; only re-
member, that as don't charge you any
thing for your lodgin', shall expec' you
to shovel the snow away from the house
in the mornin'. Life.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

Office Boy-'fWe just received an ar
ticle from the pen of Mr.. Wayback."
Editor-''Nonsensel Not Wayback,
the farmer7"
o. B.-"Yep."
Editor-"What is the articleP
Q. B.-''It is ten-pound ham,
The o. B. just misses the paste-pot as
he sneaks out of the door.-Neao York
World
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
Cold CycIe,.

Regarding the ice question, the Wor-
cester Mass Spg has this: "a veteran
cutter between here and Boston is re-
ported as saying that the cold cycles
change every five or seven year. The
prediction or opinion has been more
than verified within the past thirty
years. That is to say, in 1858 ice was
not fit for cutting till the latter part of
February. and the season lasted into
March; then came the year 1868, fvo
years intervening; then 1870, seven
years intervening; then 1874, four years
intervening; then 1881, seven years in
tervening. and now we have the seven
years from 1881 10 1885,"
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

There Is en- set on the statute book Of
Pennsylvania dating back to April, 1894.
which imposes a fine Of siKty-seyen
cents upon every person over sixteen
years Of age convicted Of profanely ours
ing or swearing by the name Of God,
Christ Jesus or the Holy Ghost, F" or, in
default, imprisonment in the house Of
correction Of the proper county not er-
ceeding aenty-f0ur hours for every such
ofe1se. Recently in the town Of an
caster man was locked up for three
days for refusing to pay a fine Of sixty
seven cents apiece for three big oaths
under the old law, which has been lying
dead for yesss. A writ Of hsbeas corpus
was applied for, but che courts decided
that the commitment was legal
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

He had been wondering for some time
how he could escape from the tolls that
were gently creeping round him and
break the spell Of soft converse and
witching eyes. AN opportunity came at
last. As she ended a spirited descrip-
ton Of her journey through the Alps she
said impulsively. "Oh, Mr.. Slowpace,
l think you ought to travel"
He looked at her rigidly, rose slowly
and grasped his hat. 'sNo woman shall
say that twice to me, " he remarked with
a firm and desperate voice; 81 knew it
was after eleven o'clock; but 1 thought
that isl hoped-no matter. Fare
well, Miss Phineweb-I will travelr'
And he did, with alacrity.-Bo,:oa Bud
get.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
&ys:erous School Definitions.

A teacher of Brooklyn, Miss lie Row,
recently published a little volume upon
.'English as She Is Taught" and by
answers given in good faith by pupils
and selected at random from a mass of
I examir atoms showed how ridiculously
/ the methods used in the schools failed to
enlighten young minds. The lady pub
fishes a second compilation of definitions
as actually given by grammar scholars in
whose minds no proper foundation was
laid. Brooklyn public schools are typi-
cal of the system everywhere. Some of
the definitions are the following:
Stability is the taking care Of stable.n
Stability is stables in general
"A mosquito is the child of white and
black parents.
"Obelisk, one of the marks of punctua-
ton"
'Ironical, something very hardn
monastery, a place for monsters"
"Tocsin, something to do with getting
"A phoenix is one who sits ashes"
Ventilation is letting in contaminated
air.
"A rehearsal is what they have at q
funeral
An incendiary is when you go round
preaching anu SlIls my HlIlIs
Representation is to have the smallpox
"a turbot is a kind OF rhetorical style"
"The boy was cursory when he ran to
catch the train
"A critic is something to put your feet
onto"
'Cannibal is two brothers that killed them
selves in the Bible
Certain of these definitions are not en-
tirely devoid Of sense. Irony is hard.
"An incendisry is when you go round
preaching and singing hymns" is almost
as humorous as Falstah's declaration that
he had lost his voice through the surg
ing and hallooing of anthems. Not un-
frequently ventilation is so unscientitio
as to encourage the admission of contain
mated when pure air is sought There
is ludicrous and PARKWAY vague recol
lection of the root of intoxicatioa in the
definition that "tocsin is something to do
with getting drunk. " Chicago Times.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

Wilkes-"YOung Tomson is the most
sublime dude ever heard of"
Jacques-"How sol'
Wilkes-''Why, he puts on his dress
suit when he writes to his lest girl"
Jaeques-"Ah! That reminds me of
OF something heard about him"
Wilkes-''What was itF'
Jacques--''He rinses his mouth when
ever he pronounces word wrong."-
Indianapolis Ners.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
The Modern Plan.

trash
Amateur-"Oh, never mind that
Publish it and I'll see that it is copied
all over the country. 1 have arranged
with q friend of mine TO claim The
authorship, and then he and will get
into boiling hot controversy over it
There are no flies on US poets nowadays. y
-PhiLqdelphin Record
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
Glass in Oomposition.

Teacher-'Now, children, will give
you three workshops, Bees, and
Bears; and l want you to compose a
sentence which will include all three
words
Small Boy-fT have it."
Teacher-''JOhn Mccarthy, you may
give your sentence"
John McCarthy-"Boys bees bare
whin they goes in swimmln'.p -Harpe,1s
Bazar.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
Catching a Tartar.

Physician (arousing tramp one morn
ing from nap on his doorstep)-"Here,
what is the matter with youl Can't you
move more lively2"
Tramp-'I'm feeling pretty bad, boss,
and can't be expected to move in a
hurry"
P.-'What's the matter?"
Tive been at deaths door all
night. Boston Budget.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

civilian Henry, you have the ele.
ments Of greatness in you. and if YOU
were not so indolent you might be 6
famous man."
~ don't want to be famous man."
"Why not7"
"Well, as am now, people address
me respectfully as William Henry
eyes
"And if l were famous they would
slap me on the back and call me Bill. u
Nebraska StIte Journal.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

ne Aanafaaiursrs Rseord, of Balti-
more, is pleased to think that ''every-
ding seems to indicate that the whole
South has entered upon what must be
called a boom in the absence Of any
better name for it Enterprises are
being organized, We might almost say.
By the hundreds. and no one need be
surprised at any amount Of industrial
activity during the next few months"
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
W0MAN'S WORLD.
PLEASANT LITERATURE FOR
FEMININE READERS

Love Letters on Five-DolIar Bills.
The Buffalo IN. " man, who won
sweet girl by writing numerous love
letters on ive-dollar bills, has started
fashion that will make counting harder
than ever Not only will the dear Great
ures refuse to return such missiyes in case
of quarrel, but they will insist on bills of
larger denomination being used. The
world will seem but dreary place to
man who has been using five-dollar bills
as stationery for his love letters wnen ne
gets a note like this from the adorsd
oh. eet; ''Another young gentleman is
writing to me on ten-dollsr bills. Unless
you employ twenty dollar bills al Is
over between US. "-PiIiGdslpbia Record.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
Part of the Business Comn,etcd.

VI INC business competed
Lulu, " he said The was a young man
who had great confidence in himself and
he bent toward her tenderly, 81 have
loved you long and tenderly. Will you
name the dsyi"
"oh, the day is already named, Mr..
Harris" answered the girl, blushing.
George was so pertinacious, finally
told HIM the third of next month. The
cards will be out in day or two. y
Baear.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

The agricultural returns of 1883
show that while the total cultivated
area OF the United Kingdom has in
creased since 1878 by about half a
million acres aud the area under grass
6y two million acres, yet there has been
ato increase in the number of live stock.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

''Doctr>," said citizen as ka-over-
took him on the street, ''what do YOU
do in case of gone stomachln
We'll, replied the doctor, thought
fully 1--WE never had such a case nv
self, but would recommend you 10 ad-
vertise for it and then sit down in large
easy-chair and wait until somebody
brings it back. Lite.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
PITH AND POINT.

The cap of liberty-A..-9o cap.
One of the last sad sMEi.ias.
will.
A small country seat-A milking
stool
Times are only sews sew with the seam
stress.
Sage advice-Directions for dressings
turkey.
BeastIy weather-When it rains cats
I'D dogs.
A board biIl-The lumber merchants
statement.
Mrs. MunnIwell wants to know if thu
last lunar eclipse was partial or impair
tial.-Bostoa transcript.
A seven dollar overcoat is a heap
warmer than the ticket for a fur
trimmed one.-MercAdnt Trarslsr.
One of the things difficult to explain
is how two men can fight after signing
articles of ssreement.-Ns'o York Nsrs.
What are elevators, papaf'
Asked boy on the street.
They, my child, are what the millers
Sc to raise the price Of wheat
-Siding&
There is nothing In this world that so,
thoroughly upsets a man as running
over an unseen paving stone on a bicy-
cle.-Bazar.
She TREMENDOUSLY George, pa threst7
ems to turn of the gas If you stay after.
10 o'clock TO night" He delightfully."-
-''Let him, let him p'-Bost0H Courier.
IT'S evidence ouita certain
OF wooing rather rash,
When you see a tinge Of powder
On young mans dark mustache.
Merchant TlrGrslsr.
Miss Travis-"Don't you think my
dress is too sweet for anything" Miss.
DeSmith-"Oh, lovely-exquisite. !
do believe your dressmsker could make
bean-pole look graceful "-BurLiHgt0Hi
Free Press.
a man stayed out with jolly Micks
Who passed their time in politics,
And then he'd roam
To his old home,
And there he found that Molly kicks
-Go0dG'rs Sun
Sunday-school teacher-"Willie, have
you had anything during the week to be
especially thankful for" Willie
"Yes'm. Johnny Podgers sprained his
wrist, and l licked him for the first time
yesterday. - Burlington. Ire Pres.
Policeman ito keeper Of Morgue)-
''Alr. White. the capt'in wants TO know
if We have the body of a man here about
forty-fve years of age Keeper White :
Had he any popularity by which hel
could be recognized" Policeman
Eyes, he was deaf and dumb. n-Ne,s
York Ne6s.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

nited states Is not the only
country where the par value Of silver
coin IS greater than its bullion worth.
i is said that there is nearly 500, 900
Of small silver IN circulation in England
which has been Manufactured at profit
By so-cailed -counterfeiters." The
gains Of the manufacturers is said to be
IS high as nifty to seventy per cent,
While the coin is fully up to the standard
Of nurifr.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

The latest Missouri tragedy IS one Of
the most remarkable in the annals of love
or murder. Having four daughters,
Henry Thomas could have spared some
o. them. But when two young men
eloped with the two older ones he went
after them with buekshot, killing ali
but one daughter. On his way home he
heard that two more Of his girls had
eloPed- These he soon recovered, but
before be ooula reach his home unkind
fate overlook him IN the shape of a mob,
and the three daughters. besides having
no husbaadss mourn the loss Of q father.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

Some idea of how far in advance the
monthly magazines are made up may be
had from heststement in the New York
Star that the March number of scri5ner's
went 10 press IN January.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

The former Collector of the Port Of
= -sw- -,-- ma later American Consul at
London, General E. A Merritt, tells a
chicago reporter that the question Of
Canadian annexation is agitated even
more ID England than it is IN Canada
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

Miss Giddyspinster (coquettishly)-
Dear Mr. Iimid, don't you like mutton
with capersa"
Mr.. Timid (who has been trying in
vain to cut his meat for the last ten
minutes -"Yes. when they are properly
mated; but my mutton is too old fer
capers. n-Boston Beacon.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
Man and Horse.

Street Car Driver-'sMe and that off
harse has been workin' for the company
for twelve years now"
Passenger-''That SOL The company
must think great deal of you boil. /"
wall, dunno; last wake the two of
US was taken sick, and they got doc
Their for the harse, and locked me. Gid
asp, thare, now, Betsy. "-NeD York Tri-
6ttne.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

It is said that the supply of canned
goods increases much faster than the
demand, notably in case of tomatoes, of
Which there were packed last year 49,
900 600 cans, whose cost to producers
was $4,000, 600, and which will take
from consumers a little more than
IS, OO0, 900.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

One would think that all the wolves
in France had been killed before this,
but during the past year 7Oi of these
raEenous animals have been killed, for
which the Government pail $4,000 in
premiums. In 1887 700 wolves were
killed, and 900 the year before. Two
Of the wolves killed lat year had at
tackled human beings and upon these
txo premiums Of $40 were paid upaR
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
A Fathers Knowledge.

Papa" said the inquisitiye youth.
''what causes malarisl feverfn
Don't you know that, Johnnyr
mo; papa, said the boy, adding with
some suspicion, do youl"
why, certainly, my SON."
'fWhat is itf'
malaria, of course. "--Aerehant
Trare er.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

It is proposed TO issue paper money in
Eng and Of denomination as small as
half a sovereign. The annual loss to
traders by the depre iatiou of gold coin
Of that denomination Is something like
$500 600 and it claimed that much Of
this would be saved were paper used.
The half sovereign is an incOnveuieut
and easily lost coin, which is another
aFgumentin favor Of paper.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

"Pa, do you know your tablesr
Fairly well, Johnnie. What do Won
wish to known
''How many bushels make a hen.
peckp-Neso York World.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
An Epitaph.

An epitaph's recommend
They give to folks, when starting
To make their way in parts unknown,
And soothe the pang Of parting.
Il trumpsts all their virtues forth,
For fear you should MT find en-;
.5ood character to take ahead,
And Leave the bad behind 'eml
Era LoUett Carson, IN Puck.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
The Buigarians are hardly nm 70 !

The Bulgarians are hardly up to the
l1ogszz does Of civilization. AZ balls
gwen y ssis',iy. - guests eat with
their fingers, wipe their hands on their
trousers or on their hair; when wearied
from dancing remove their shoes and 90
about barefOoted aud conduct them
selves in many other ways which seem
strange to those accustomed to the usages
Of modern polite society.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

Yeast-"Where's your overcoat2n
Crlmsonbeak-'tAtmy uncIe's."
"By your uncle's do you mean the
pawnbroker'sf"
Precisely"
Why do you call him your unclefn
because he's a clothes relation of
mine. "-StGtsmaa
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

Mary got a valentine
All full of love and woe,
And thought it came from bashfuI Jones
Afraid to tell her so.
She kissed it fifty times day,
And dreamed Of il at night,
And talked about the wedding dav
1t mentioned, with delight
She showed it at the skating pond
10 Jones and blushsd with art.
Oh, dearest George, who do you thinL,
Sent me this bleeding hearth
u know, Smiled Jones, and then she sighed
''Of course; but first ask mother,n
Ano , got real mad when he replied:
II. c. Dodqe.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

That isa large fgue-sfs 600 co.,
ooe- That represents the actual value OF
the real estate of Kew York, and is an
increase Of nearly per cent. over that
Of the previous year.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

Leopold, King of the Belgians, has
never signed death warrant, and, Ill
though the statute has never been ie-
peaied' capital punishment is praci-
eaily abolished in Belgium.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

"You can't go home when IT'S raining
like this. You'd better stay and have
dinner with usr'
"oh! it's not quite as bad as that Pr
LO1&on Punch.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26

Emperor William, in his last spe,eh
from the throne, announced that depo,its
in German savings banks had increased
BY $50, 900, 600.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1889-04-26
Nj. Grindstone-"one dollar "

Nj. Grindstone-"oned dollar
Mrs. Grindstone--( Whispering delight.
edly)-"Thst's good of you, Jonas. I
made that cake myself"
Auctioneer-'' One dollar dollar
dollar-going at a dollar-do hear the
Mr.. Grindstone-'T didn't say one
dollar. 1 said one dime The hard
ened wretch - Chicago Tribune.