Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1889-12-28

boneset tea, for she'd Almost got lung
fever. While Hetty she lay on the
old sofy all day long a-groanin' with
pain.
Mother said she happened in, be
cause they wasn't to meetin, and
when she heered the tell she said:
" We'll, l amt mite sorry for ye;
folks that can't go to bed without the
meetin house bell tells EN- to, though
they be cold and sleepy, had ought to
take the consekences of bein' sot in
their way y
Jest like women folks" said Ze-
mas, with resigned bitterness; when
they be used TO havin their way five
rail fence won't turn EN-"
Know all about it, don't we, Zene2"
said Sid Elmer, mischievously.
your turns a-comin', young fell
lerl" answered Zenas, with forebod-
ing chuckle You'll come to it be-
fore you're done breathn the breath,
you see if you don't"
Sid flushed little; but Uncle Pa
phro's keen eye perceived it, and he
went on:
'Tis queer how contrary they be
sometimes, but dono how we could
get along real well without EN-;
they're dreadful handy critters"
Specially about buddhist" sighed
Sam Turner, looking at the empty
dish longingly.
Sid had TO laugh.
well, nowp put in Jonathan
Bates, slowly lifting himself from the
great root against which he had lain
in the sunshine after eating all he
could. 1 stan up for women folks;
they amt no queerer nor men, only
we're willin' to tell on 'em more than
we be on t'other sect. l knowed a
man myself that done things no other
created cretur but him could or would
a done.
He was real shif'less cretur, Tiff
Shores, by name; he was baptized
Antiphony, but that was too long for
week days, and they couldn't call him
An, for short, becas that was a wo-
mans name, so he went by Tiff
He lived on the aidge of things in
a kind of howl outside the city line
of Scranton, and havin' no visible
means of support, as the Tor says, why
folks kept a sharp eye on him; he
hadn't no children, and his wife had
shookanum palsy, and couldn't lift
hand.
II expect the neighbors KEEP the
life into her, for Tiff hadn't nothin'
only the corn he raised on his half
acre o ground, and the things he
shared an shot; but he was master
good to Mandy, and done all he knew
for her, and when he'd sold a mess O
pa'tridges, or done day or SOS work
to white washin', or pig KILN, or
wood chopin, why, he'd spend the
heft of what he got on tea an sugar
an sech things for Mis- Shores, as he
called her.
Il don't say he never caught no fish
out o the squire's pond, nor that he
never picked up no pears nor no
peaches under noboay's trees when
they want lookin'. l don't think
them things was counted ag'inst him
no moro than if he'd been asquerrel;
he was a kind of simple thing any
way, folks thought; but he want, he
was cute as cat brier.
"Well one day Deacon Peters old
boss was missin', and there was great
hue and cry, and somebody told how
that Tiff Shores had been seen ridin'
of it down to the hollow, SO they
fetched Tiff up before Judge Pettis.
He owned he had rid it ways, said
he found it by the road, and he was
tired, SO he broke switch and got on,
and rid bareback up to his house and
Civ the horse cut and off it went,
and that was all he knowed. So they
clapped him into Scranton jail"
Didn't they try him, or do nothin'
to him2" asked Zenas.
ooh land, yes and found him gull
ty, because he was the last man seed
with the hoss Well, he was there
five weeks before they found out the
truth, which was that the old boss be-
ing lame and havin the heaves bad,
didn't relish the idee of Deacon Peters
whip, and had strayed off gradooal up
amongst the hills to place where the
was summer boarders.
"Well; amongst them was one of
these fellers that thinks such a sight
of dumb critters, and was head of a
s'ciety for takin' care of 'em or KILN
EN-, as the case may be.
He see this miserable hang dogold
rack O bones by the road side, and not
hein' able to find whose twas he out
with his pistil and shot it. So there
was Tiff jailed for nothin'.
"Well, you bet he was madl When
they let him go, he says, says he
a-Shallin' his fist, Scranton folks has
jailed me for nothin', I'll give EN-
somethin' to Jail me for, pervidin' al
Lays that they'll ketch me.
''Well, next thing they heard Judge
Pettis' had been broke into by night;
nothin' was stole, but whoever done it
took roll of butter out of the closet,
cut it into slices and laid 'em all round
the parlor floor onto the new carpet,
and then stepped on 'aml That carpet
want real useful after that, not by
long sight.
1.-TWO weeks after, somebody got
Deacon Peters best Sunday hat one
Sat'day night, high crown beaver,
and that was new, too, and sot it on
the back step and poured the molas-
SEES jug into t so twas half full.
''Then folks began to look out; but
Peters folks thought they'd had their
turn, till they heered, another Sun
day mornin', the amazin'est jumpin'
and nlovin' ever was; and what dye
think it was2 Why, there was two
young steers out on the barn floor
tackled up in the deacon's double har-
ness, and hitched to his pole Vaughn.
They'd made short straps out Of the
harness by that time, now tell vel
Lawyer Wheeler he had satin
sofy to his house that his wife sot
everything by, yeller satin; and one
night somebody come in by verandy
window an slep on that sofy. Twas
all mud and stained with wet, and the
piller greasy, for it rained that night
like cats and dogs, and whoever twas
hadn't an umbrel most likely MIS-
Wheeler, she felt hredful put ont
about it, you'd better believe, and l
don't wonder.
Before long there was black
Grape tied to Wheeler's door knob, and
two punkin lanterns sot on his steps to
show it; that was done just after dark
when folks was all at tea. That kind
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