Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-06-14
TAKE YOUR cHo1cs

The messenger boys diarv-,,
hired; Tuesday, tired; wednesd.uso s y
SOME girls are like loaf sugss
have no especial taste, but a..
sweet. are
STRANGER Ito man with bio Il.
Hotel clerk, Ell? BejewelIaaa laa.o
ual-No, sir; Iowa druggist, 'u'S
PoIloEMAs-come, now, vb.,
you going to get move on Won, sa !,
briate-Firsh May, wife shavs N
"CouLD you give man lift,, =,
a seedy looking man at the doo.
office building. Certainly. ts,. "
elevator at the end of the hall
NOTHING comes amiss to mos
marked a man who had married '
times and secured o widow for u;
ner each time.
A WRITER observes that ca mos
soul is in the training of her cbild Lu
Yes, it Island the heel also, somesn
The heel is what makes pirates. ''
MISS ELITE Crushing in)-ob
Clara Tiptop has eloped. Mrs. :!
fervently)-Thauk heaven! Non
won't have to send her anv ,,
present.
THERE is only one bigger bore y,
the man who isalways talking abo,s
days when he was rich, and that i
man who continually brags about 4
poor he used to be.
SHE (reading)-Fashion novss
Large checks will be much in DEM,
for spring costumes. He'll
cheques! My goodness, Ethel, t5s1
not much novelty in that!
HENS are like footpads, because .
are always laying for some one, Of con,
Please do not bother us with such :,
ish questions, Veritas. Ask us 81,
thing hard, if you must spring conf
drums
PROPRIETOR of South Fifth Aver
Hotel Ito waiter)-See if the gentlan|
in parlor A have finished discus3
their dinner yet. Waiter Geturped|
Dey am fru eatin', boss, but dev \
done cussin' it yet.
HUSBAND Coming in hurriedlv !
excitedly)-By Jove, I've been in atI
place. Vile (not too young)-All rs1
next time you go into saloon l ID
you'll get licked until they have to bra
you home in procession.
Il DECLARE its shame" said /
young man who lived in New JERSEY
his sweetheart, "The mosquitoes are
bad that YOU have to wear veil Nd
we go driving, and the idea of dyv !
with girl who wears veil!"
Mo-EEE-I told you not to cot cs
for supper Laura. There is ca-ls
the parlor now. Miss Laura-W5
Mother-Young Mr.. Bashful. ID
Laura-Oh, that's all right. He vd
get close enough to find it out.
Doctor Ito lady of the upper ten
Your husband has the yellow fever
hopeless case. (Exit.) Lady Ito $
vaats)-Bring my husband down-stz
and put in the yellow sitting-room-
must die matching the furniture.
AFFIDAVIT Editor-Dearest Mathiid
can you doubt the strength and since
i5y OF my love? Mathilde-Sweac
Alonzo, swear it! Affidavit Editor a
scat-mirdedly)-I swear-we have d
largest circulation in the West, and
Is rapidly increasing.
Mas. JAsos-so you wish sonlebod
would carry me off, Ell? And yet y
once declared that if any man ran
with me an inquest over him would
the consequence. Mr.. Jason-Well
still say SO. Only 1 think now it wou]
be all insanity inquest, my dear.
PLEASE send up to my house to-mo
row a couple Of nice bass" "Yes, sn|
And, by the way, be sure they d
bass. I'm going off for day, and-a
-er-the last time I went I told nj
wife it was for trout-fshing, and yo
sent up a fresh mackerel. These Ett4
errors of yours are causing strained rd
1at;ons in my family"
A TRAIN in Arizona was boarded b
robbers, who went through the lucke1
passengers. One Of them happened
be Hebrew drummer from Ne1
york, who, when his turn came, with rd
luctance fished out 5000, but rapil1
took 81 from the pile and placed it 4
his vest pocket. what do mean
that?" asked the robber, as he toye1
with his revolver. Hurriedly came ta11
answer: mine trent you surely v0a1
not refuse me 2 per zent discount on
strictly cash transaction like dis?
"THEN may heaven help U.S." slgne9
Nh. Man, as he, laid the paper as'ag
for nothing else will" "What is ~
matter now?" asked Mrs. Man. WAY
ter enough, the theater managers a1