Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1889-05-15
FUN, PUN, AND JOKE
A high-toned affair--A pioco1o.

a AlSl-tOneu aIi0lf-A paOC040.
WHEN q sailor wants ohan0e he
probably goes to the quarter4asck.
THERE is one thing about ! diction-
airy that resembles woman. il always
has the last word.
The Queen Of England always drops
"penny royal in the contribution-box
when she goes to church.
QulTE So-Yes, there is no doubt Of
il, women are riddles" just No-But
they are the sort of riddles men aren't
likely to give up.
FIRST shopping Rend - Madame,
that's my muff! Second Swapping
fiend-Why, how inexcusably stupid
OF me to pick mp an imitation monkey-
skin.
THE last words Of great men are all
recorded in the hooks, but the last
words OF women, great and small,
have always been too much for the
historians.
IF your laugh is loud, il il low. But
ii it is low. it isn't loud. The English
language is q fine structure, but when
We have to talk straight logic, We gen.
orally use Greek ourselves.
Mn. JAsoN--I see one of the Chi
cago dime museums has q living half
man on exhibition. Mrs. Jason
There's q chance for you, Jehiel. That
is. if yon could prove that you are
alive.
PRETTY GIRLS il the fashion now
to wear long faces? / noticed all the
young mon have q sad, dejented look.
Dude (despondently) - The Jna'te1y
bills fwom the wascally tailkhs ali
coming in.
PoRrER-Two gem'men want b zee
the President. Secretary Halfora Tex
editor)-Who are they? Zone says
he's a journalist, sab, an the other
says he's q newspaper man." admit
the newspaper man, and kick the jour-
nalist OUT
"SPEAK1NG about journalistic cour-
age," remarked the snake editor, II
name q paper which has more grit
than any other, and one which you
would hardly think of, either" What
paper is that ?" asked the horse editor.
aSand paper"
A PENNSYLVANIA man who ran q
needle into his foot had it drawn out
by holding his foot near q dynamo.
Happy thought! Hold some Of
railroad directors near q great big
dynamo and see If it won't draw the
steal out of hem.-BOstOn Bulletin.
IT is said that no woman born at As
pinwall, Panama, ever reached the age
of twenty-one years. This is not SO
strange. There are many young
women right here in Minneapolis who
never have and never will reach that
age, if their W statements are to be
believed Tribune.
READY for trial-Great Doodle law
yer Tin New York)-"The trial Of our
honorable client will begin to-mor-
row." Assistant (astounded)-"Trial?
Couldn't you get the case postponed
any longer?" mo need to have it fur
ther postponed. All the important
witnesses are dead"
MISS MADDOX, OF Brewton, Ala,
dressed up az a tramp to brighten her
mother, and the latter, seizing a shot
gun, emptied its contents into her
daughters body, ~inflicting a serious
wound. The shotgun in the hands of
a woman plays some queer pranks.
If the daughter had been a genuine
tramp, Mrs. Maddox's shot would have
wounded q COW in q field fifty yards
distant.
BLINKs (who has moved into the
snburbs): Here's an idea. The pa
per says one of the h~@ldsomest resi-
dences on the HudsoG' has the flower
beds laid off with old beer bottles"
Mrs. Blinks (doubtfully): well, at q
distance the effect Of the glass bor-
behring's might be pretty" Eyes, in
deed. I'll order o gross or two from
Sweibeer & CO., and when the bottles
are empty you can have them."-Phi-
adelphia Record.
Oh! the world il wide. but friends are few.
Though many will say they love you true,
But love to some IL a fancy mere,
To come and go with the feeting year;
And some are false.
And some are true.
A kiss to some is the sacred seal
OF q bond that lives for woe and veal;
To some tbs only Dame Fashions way
OF saying -Good-morning' or .Good-day"
But fashions ch~ange-the old for the new
And some are false,
And some are true.
The lips that sweetly say Yea" to-day,
Tomorrow may pout and say you nay,
For the same bush bears both rose and thorn,
And the world is wide, but friends are few;
For some are false,
And some are true.
A WINTER SILHOUETTE.