Milford chronicle. [volume] (Milford, Del.) 1878-1974, 1889-05-03
MR.. jerks BEAR.

Puck.
MR.. jerks BEAR.
We were stretched before a small but ener-
getic camp fire Of chaparro on the bank Of
the Aqua Azul, in western New Mexico
"We'' means Hank and particularly
Hank. l was simply an accident there; but
Hank, fixture. A Harvard man Of rest
less tendencies, he had drifted pretty well
over the globe since graduation, and had at
last worked himself up to the proud position
of cowboy on the L ranch, place in
which he seemed perfectly at home, as, in
deed, he did everywhere. Hank had changed
considerably since l saw him in Cambridge,
His face was darker and his eye clearer than
even in the days when he was stroke of the
senior crew. He still retained remnants Of
the semi-classic college slang; and around it
had accreted a wonderful conglomeration Of
the breezy idiom of the frontier. His speech
was, like Josephs garment, Of many colors,
but not without a charm Of force, and fire.
quently of elegance.
Riding down through Zuni canyon the day
before, from trip to photograph Inscription
Rock, l had run up against Hank, and my
from the shaking it had received then and
there We had been together ever since, talk
ing over old times and new ones, and CONVEX
sational material was running little short
after two days Of steady talking.
"Wonder what Van Bray and some Of
those other dudes would say if they saw you
out here HankP remarked, in an interval
between yawns-which were excusabe after
a fifty mile ride and the extrication of four
steers from the marsh in which they had
''bogged down"
Faint, reckon" answered Hank. "Td
like to have 'em out here for a while. We'd
buffalo them as bad as we did a dude here last
fall" And he chuckled a little at some obvi-
ously pleasant recollection.
"Well, wake up and tell me about it,"
said l.
Hank pulled out a piece of corn husk,
dropped pinch of graduated tobacco upon
it, and directly evolved a cigarette, which he
lighted with a coal
about that dudes Well, it was circus.
Two seen plenty Of fun with fool tenderfeet,
but he was the bird Of all Tho name of the
young gentleman was jerks. don't know
that the rarity of his nomenclature had any
thing to do with the rarity of his mental at
mosphere, but the latter was certainly Pixies
peakian The newly appointed manager of
an eastern cattle company-why In the name
of the pestiferous pop do these eastern CAPT
talists always send dudes to manage their
affairs out here2-he blew in among US one
day, clothed upon with a pigeon wing coat.
trousers Of cuticular immediateness, fair
leather shoes, yellow kid gloves. and a SOM
brero so broad brimmed that the Youngest
cowpuncher in the outfit would have been
ashamed to be found dead with it on Mr..
jerks had to keep three or four newspapers
folded under the sweat band to save tho |
measly thing from blowing away alone; thus
relieving us Of the fear that we might have
to lend him less picturesque hat, and sub |
shutting the pleasanter anticipation Of seeing |
that sombrero gently waited down upon one |
Of our New Mexican zephyrs, with Mr.. jerks |
dangling airily in its wake. Unfortunately, |
however, those blonde shoes always succeeded |
IN holding him down.
HE was surprised and panied to find no .
horse cars running from the railroad to the
ranch; but having covered that forty miles
sitting on a sack Of corn in the bottom Of a
Stakeholder wagon, he was glad enough to
get there alive, and was too thoroughly ex-
hausted to kick at the two roomfulness Of
our mud hut till next day. After that,
though, his tongue caught the combination
again, and kept working it till it made our
tired heads ache. Jaw, things ali so difwent
in the east, don't chew know'-that's the way
he talked-'why, theah we wouldn't put a
hog in such misewablo hut as this One of
the Mexican punchers remarked, soto voce,
that we wouldn't, either, if we could help II.
We couldn't perceive anything in the way of
blue bottles perched on that dobe house of
ours; but Mr.. jerks seemed to find it fairly
V hnr e., al, IL l. !
Injurious remarks, for they were more nu-
merous than pitching bronco, and quite as
sratuitous The only good thing he found
among US was our leather twousehs.'
IS he called our chapaIrejos, which
we're so beastly womantic, We know
And even these, he thought, should
DO equipped with seats. Tho bay window of
blue overall in the rear displeased his aesthetic
we; and it was his exuberance Of criticism
IN this tender point which finally inspired
he Kid to insert a small memento Of buck
lorn cactus in tho most prominent portion of ,
dr. jerks own stern necessities, and a live .
'attlesnake in Mr.. jerks high laced shoe, one
Inc night-a witticism which caused the vic. !
i'm to embark for the railroad next dav :
But anticipate.
''Mr. jerks shared our friioles and chile
on carne with some internal misgivings and
many audible groans The latter dish he at
lrst took to be stewed tomatoes, and had en-
,ulfed holy dose before he discovered it to
e pure red pepper Of the most venomous
disposition. It took two hours to convince {
i'm. that it was not masked battery of t
Rough on Rats. Starvation finally reconciled 8
i'm, however, to chile, as did fatigue to our C
inc hunks. But nothing could induce him
o divorce, or even temporary separation.
rom those yellow kid gloves Ho walked in o
hem, ate in them, slept in them" e
"Come now, Hank, p interrupted, Ego a t
title slow on that. was educated on a b
ewspaper and hate fabricator. That kid v
love business Is a little too mueh.n O
dead sober truth, - replied Hank. ''If it 81
MT hope to never see the back of nv neckt f
10 said it was to keep his hands from getting q
mburnt, and the boys advised him to wear v
DTS on his teeth, too-for which friendly sug- il
estion be took CORY vengeance by publish e.
g all our names in his country paper back &
asst, and calling us lot Of savages We t,
idn't learn of this, however, till too late to o.
D Of practical benefit.
s'AIr. jerks arrived among US seized Of n Il
lid and woody desire to become a Ba-ad c
Ian Omitted. His hard earned Bwitishness d.
course, he could not give up; but a nice
ew Mexico cowboy fril upon his English al
Iit would make him a marked man among b
10 dudes at home. He aspired, therefore, to
ing the sassy lariat, beard the untamed W
'onco in its lair, and rival Billy Martin al
18th the pistol. His first attempt to rope a 81
ghly pacific tying post only ensnared his 81
'n head, and nearly ruined the architecture