The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-08-01

that Hinsdale bridge? Was it 1, or
some other donkey? Talking about
inventions, why don't you take out a
patent on your bridge roof? l will
guarantee you will have no suits for
interference, for nobody from Adam
down ever conceived such an abortion
but you. Jackass, indeed Don't
talk to me, I'm big Indian, l am,
and want scalps; Whoop-la! When
| was out in the war
Hooker. Var! What war, I'd
like to know? You've played it off
on the ignorant old soldiers, and I've
helped you, because we must sink or
swim together, but don't try to come
any of your old soldier-dodges on me
Il know all about it.
Fuller. No you don't, for you
wasn't out in my war down in the fast
nesses of North Hinsdale, where |
burrowed with skunks and hedgehogs
and lived on charity doughnuts for
weeks together, far away from the
comforts of home and family, and
where my bravery and military Prov
ess was more than match for the
coming U. S. Marshall, Hugh Henry,
who was after me with a sharp stick
and a writ but he never once set
eyes on me. Every time he advanced
| retreated, and l could run the fast
est. That's my military record, and
I'm proud of it. Now where were
you and what were you doing all that
time? If rumor speaks the truth,
you were down enjoying the delightful
climate of old Virginia, living on the
fat of the land at the governments
and appropriating every
thing you could lay your hands on,
dead or alive, except water, and oc-
casionally getting little healthy ex-
ercise and excitement out of playful
skirmish with the so-called enemy !;
while l had to pay or beg my own
way. Which has the best record,
then? Why shouldn't / cahoot with
the old soldiers? They like my mon
ey and my soft soap, and l like their
votes, same as you do, and we both
give them oceans of taffy to get them.
What s the difference
Levi, you are an ass, and
no mistake, though l didn't quite say
SO before. You may go to grass with
your stolen inventions, for all | care !;
and as for that bridge, l don't be-
lieve you know any more how to stop
that confounded leak than | do.
Fuller. Well, l do. / had a
splendid idea of monster umbrella,
made out of some of your Jamaica
cabbage leaves, which might also be
held over you and me when we are
Matching up any of our plots that are
particularly off color. We could get
our faithful strikers, Hub. Taylor,
Tom Harmon, "Me too" and all our
other toadies to hold it any time but
you are so disagreeably mean to-day,
I'll keep the whole scheme to myself
and you may crawl out Of your old
bridge the best way you can, for all
me. Ia, ia, George, ta, to.
Hooker. Hold on, Levi, ! didn't
mean- Why, blast the nincom-
poop, he's gone off in huff and I'm
left with small river of ice water
running off that cussed bridge right
down the whole length of my spinal
column. Ouch! l wish big cloud
burst would come right along and
carry off that internal roof, bridge
and all Wish / hadn't made Levi
so crazy mad he might have helped
me, possibly, though he is monu-
mental ass, sure enough. That
d--n SITTER has told everybody all
about this bridge business, and !
can't go anywhere in the State with
out being twitted about it. Even lit
tie boys in the streets ask me the
price of tickets to my new patent
shower bath l can't swim with Levi
much longer, that's certain. He
wants all the offices and so do /, and
we can't both have them. So long
as / can use him, well and good but
when he gets in my way down goes
his house. We are both humbugs-
and that's what the people want-but
l love my humbug best, and I'm 60
ing to push it for all its worth. Even
my well known modesty shan't pre-.
vent me. Hurrah for Hooker, ther
now, henceforth and forever | want
the earth, its offices especially, and
am an everlasting candidate for al
offices, big or little, from this time
on, and by giving my whole mind tc
it, | ought surely to catch some Of
them. Erit.
WAS He MURDERED?
Is question often asked, when per
son is found dead that had previously en-
joyed good health. The verdict often L