davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29
The Little Boy.

Boy-Pa, what's that man running
for?
Father-To catch train, I guess. "
"Is the train running away from
him ?"
"No."
aThen, what's he trying to catch it
for?"
"To get aboard In time.
"WiH he get it, pa?"
Get what ?"
"The board"
"You ought to be whipped"
"What for. pap"
"F'Or asking such silly questions"
with a whip?"
eyes"
"What kind of whip, pa; one with
a whistle at the end, or a jockeys
head? ?"
@T'n send you home, if you're not
quiet
"AIone?"
Eyes"
Il might get lost.
Iwish you would-keep still
pa"
"Here comes our car.
"Do we own the car, pap"
mo"
well, what did you say. we-ow,
ow, bah, ali; ia "-XG51kee. Blade.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29
One ON MIR. PaImar.

Ex-Attorney General Palmer is FOND
of joke and he isn't put out a bit if the
joke is on him, Just so it is funny. He
dresses very neatly and is not given tC
iewelry except in the matter of scarf
pins, and an adOrnmeut of this character
once led to a remark about him which
set all Wikesbarre to laughing. He
had purchased a very handsome pin III
the shape of bug, which was of rather
loud size and pretty conspicuous. II
looked like an exaggerated potato bug.
His friends guyed him considerably
about it, and that scarf pin became the
talk Of the town. One day a prominent
German saloOnkeeper passed Mr.. Palmer
as the latter stood at his Office door,
L2Oked out Of the corner of his eye at
Inc scarf-pin and smiled. Instantly the
Attorney, in his quick, sharp way, said
well, Dutchy, what's the matter
with you? What are you Laughing
at?"
"Oh, holdings, Mr.. BaImer."
eyes, you were. You were laughing
at this scarf-pin. What's the matter
with it,"
"I guess it's all right, Mr.. Balmer.
We'll, look at it and see. Is there
anything the matter with it Examine
it.
The German drew nigh, carefully
scanned the pin, looked over it gravely,
and was about to turn away, when Mr..
Palmer said
well, what's the matter with that
bug scarf-pin? What do you think ?"
Well, Mr.. Balmer, said the German,
81 don'd know but vat I think I never
before saw so big bug on so schmau q
potato, and he walked off with a queer
grin on his face.
The remark struck Mr.. Palmer as be
ing exceedingly funny, and he told il
to some Of his Harris burg
Telegraph.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29
No Use for Him.

Young Widow-Yes, It is true, M
SIowfeIIow has been very attentive {
me lately, and he Is certainly very Il
teres5ing. So you used to know him /
Friend-Yes, indeed. Knew him and
his first wife, too. He c0urted her nine
years before marrying her.
Waiting AIaid-Mr. SlowfelloW Is IN
parloT, mum.
Young Widow (savagely)-N05 ct
home tjI1de{phia Record.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

to six log-rol1ings this year; lifts more
than most men; often INDUCES IN coon
and 'possum hunting; has been a
deacon in the Baptist Church for fifty
eight years; was never drunk in his
life, and an oath has never escaped his
lips. He is the father of twenty-six
children, fifteen now living has seven
ty grandchildren and a number OF
great-grandchiIdren.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29
An Electric COfn-Catcher.

Automatic weighing machines, and
power-testing machines, and dispens-
ers of chocolate cakes, walls Of per
fumes, and other wares, have become
a familiar sight in many lands during
the past few years. A new develop
ment Of the idea has been introduced
by a French society, and has already
found favor In the waiting -rOOms, gar
dens, and theaters of Paris. 1t Is
called the Electric Magic Lantern, "
and serves something of the purpose
Of an illustrated daily paper. 1t IS IN
the form of a highly ornamental box OF
pillar seven feet tall, bearing a con-
spicUous invitation to Give ten cen
times and see. The person accepting
the invitation looks in a fve-inch lens
In the front of the apparatus, drops
his coin In the slot, and sees pass up
ward a series of seven drawings Illus
trative of current events, each picture
pausing for a few seconds to give time
for a good view of it. A Swan cleo
trio lamp eliminates the pictures, and
the entire mechanism Is operated by
electricity. The drawings are changed
daily, the list of representations being
neatly placarded on the outside.-ATe
kG0sdt0 IY-GUeIer.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

A WOODEN coffin has been discovered
in the crypt of the parish church OF
Linares, in Spain, bearing the follow
ing strange inscription: Herein lies
the pretended corpse of Fracisco Pi-
zarro." It is needless to say that the
coffin was eagerly opened, notwith-
standing the disclaimer. It was found
to contain a corpse which had been
carefully "mummifed, and which was
clothed in garment Of violet cloth
The countenance is said to be remark
ably like the portraits of Pizarro, and
it has pointed beard like his. One
of the hands was detached and lay
near the body, while the other hand re
posed upon the breast. Neither jewels
nor a sword were found in the coffin.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

The bill which Judge Horton has
drafted for the amendment of the di-
vorce law ought to be passed by the
Illinois General Assembly without
serious amendment. It proposes to
increase the discretion of the Judge
hearing divorce cases so as to dis
courage coIlusive applications and bar
the way to collusive DEGREES. It's
adoption would also remove many of
the temptations and incentives to di-
vorce by empowering the Judge to de-
cree that the guilty party in a case
shall not be permitted to be married
within a certain time, varying from
one to ten years, according to the cir
cumstances of the case. The passage
of this amendment would do much to
relieve Chicago from the unenviable
notoriety of being the divorce center
of the universe. 1t ought to have the
active support of all members of the
Legislature.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

CLARENCE Il. CLARK, of Philadelphia,
has a set of BIOtley's Dutch Republic"
that he has extended" from nine to
twenty-nine volumes by the insertion
of 2, 500 engravings, autographs, etc.
The work is said to have cost him
$50, 900, in which statement there is
not necessarily much exaggeration, as
there are few hobbies more expensive
(or more delightful than that Of extra
illustrating"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29
Burlington Route Fast train 'EIi''

leaves Kansas City daily at $40 p. M, are
irving in Chicago in time for all morning
connections. Solid vestibule train with
dining car out of Kansas City and serving
breakfast going into Chicago, inducements
offered by no other line. The new equip
ment and superior track will enable this
Company to make the time regularly. which
will be a special feature Of the Burlington
Eli.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29
With Boiling Water.


Prince AIetternich the famous Aus.
trian statesman, in discussing the won
derfuI development of the worlds
means of transportation by land and
sea, used to tell the following anecd0te
with much relish. He was compelled
to wait an unusually long time one day
for an audience with Napoleon. As he
was waiting In the ante-chamber, a man
rushed out, with traces Of deepest de-
spair on his countenance. Napoleon
was walking up and down the room IN
great excitement. did you see that
man who just. went out ?" he asked.
Certainly, replied Aetternich. The
man is crazy. He has proposed to me
to send my fleet 10 England with boiling
water" The man was Robert Fulton,
the inventor of the Steamboat.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

SAYS a Comanehe Indian clergyman;
"What we need is the Bible taught in
a plain manner instead of the whisky
flask. We want the Government to
educate our children to be good and
useful citizens of this country instead
OF drunkards. Let the Government
appropriate more money for teachers
( of a good moral character and less for
scalp-kniyes and guns.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

LOUISVILLE is another city that has
decided that the English language is
good enough for the children who at
tend the public schools. The School
Board has decided by a vote of % to 1
not to continue the teaching of Ger
man for the sake of children of Ger
man-American parentage.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

THERE is bill before the New York
Assembly to amend the libel laws.
What applies to an individual should
also apply to a newspaper, and a paper
should have as good a show as a horse
thief at least.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

A FEW days since there was sold on
the boulevard of Paris a small cake for
sou, which bore this inscription !:
/ Souvenir of the Election of Jan. 81,
1889-Boulanger: What he will prom
ise-Eat and you will find what he
viii give" The cakes sold rapidly,
for they appeared appetizing, but the
first mouthfuI told the story. They
were filed with hay.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

THE city of Montreal shows that she
is alive and full of genuine pluck in
undertaking a harbor improvement to
cost 81, 100000.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

CHRISTMAS ISLAND, the last annexa-
ton of Great Britain, is the highest
coral island known, rising three or
four hundred feet from the sa.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

VICToRIA's will was made in 1876,
engrossed on vellum, and is now a
great bound-volume fastened with a
lock, with several blank pages left for
codicils. The last was made recently
and distributed the jubilee gifts. Some
are left to the state, and the others
are distributed among the members of
the royal family,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

A KANSAS man, who introduced a
Legislative resolution that crippled sol
diers should have the preference in
Office, employs 438 men at home, and
not an old soldier, crippled or we'll,
can be found among them.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

ROBBINS, the circus man, is a consist
ent Christian. He never swore in his
life and never allowed any of his en-
ployes to swear. Whenever he saw one
of them getting mad, he would say
"Here now; get outside the ropes if you
are going to cuss."
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

is the exclamation of thousands suffering
from catarrh. To ell such We would say;
Catarrh can be cured by DR.. Sage's Cetarrh
Remedy. It has been done in thousands O
cases; why not in yours? Your danger is in
delay. Enclose a stamp to Worlds DIspen-
sary Medical Association, Buffalo, n. Y,
for pamphlet on this disease.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

A BUFFALO coal dealer figures that
no family has saved over half a ton of
coal on account of the open winter
Coal burns out so fast anyhow, whether
the weather is cold or warm, and the
winters supply averages about SO much.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

yet on some handy shelf, the sensible
housekeeper has her bottle Of DR.. Bulbs
Cough Syrup, and when the child has dis
tressing cough or touch of Group she cures
the little one in no time.
ssWhat de precher talk bout to-day, brud-
der Julius?'' ooh he teIie6 bout Samson
beat dem Philist.nes, en- you know, I mos
cry to tink dem poor creeters couldn't get
no Salvation Oil.'
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

They we're talking about diving. Jones;
I've known man TO dive down and come
up ssVenSy-fvs yard from where he went IN
to the water" Brown; t'Tha5's nothing. A
New York cashier, having robbed the safe
of fs-enployer, in a fit Of remorse plunged
into New York harbor, and two months
sfteEward turned mp in Europe. How was
that for a diVe2''
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

SOME succulent statistics are that
there are in the Chesapeake 578, 224,-
600 square yards of oyster beds, yield
ing about 10, OOO,OOO bushels of oysters
annually. and distributing about 3d.
600, 900 among so, 900 people.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

ssbEiss Maud - he said st have come in
his evening to ask you q question, aud /
have brought a ring with me. Nov before
you try it on / want TO tell you if ycu feel
inclined to be q sister to me- / VIII have to
take it back, as my father objects 60 my
sisters wearing such large diam ondss" and
Maud said she would keep the ring.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

ALEX. BELL has been able, without
the use of wires and with but few cells
of a battery, to signal between two
boats a mile apart.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

CHARLES HOLMES, an old hermit, Of
Connecticut, predicts that there won't
be railroad line left in this country
twenty-five years hence. Why not get
him into the weather bureau?
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

SCHOOL SUPPLIES, of all kinds. from A.
a. Andrews & Co, Chicago. The Toledo
School Desk with Relief Chairs. Send for
terms. Agents wanted to canvass in every
county. Address j. S. SIie, Agent, Topeka,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

Mother (to daughter retiring for the
night: tsDid you eat the cold beans. Psne-
lope, that put aside for youg' Daughter
Gliding her face shily on her mothers Shout
der): enc, mamma: Clarence told me to
night that I am all the world to him. and
even beans, mamma, would be IN discOEd with
the tranquil harmony that's singing IN my
SOUL
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

A SCHEME has appeared in Bucharest
to found union of the Balkan States,
including Greece, Roumania, Seryia,
Bulgaria, and Montenegro. The Fed
eral States are never to go to war With
one another. When any of them guar
rel the subject of difference is to be
submitted to a council Of representa-
tives of all the five allies, under the
Presidency of Greece, as being the
oldest independent Christian orthodox
state among them. There is to be no
appeal against the decisions of this
council The members of the union
are not to attack any Christian power,
though it looks as if they were te9oe
at liberty to attack Turkey. In case
any of them are obliged to defend
themselves the cooperation of all is
obligatory
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

ALFRED DANIEL, of Douglas Coun-
ty, Georgia, is 80 years old; was never
sick a day in his life; was never IN bed
Ct sun-up; never lost a tooth; has been
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

AN elephant lately died at Bombay
in the Booth year of his age, and nat
uralists figure from this that any ele-
plant of regular habits viii have no
trouble in pulling along for at least
300 years.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

The fires in London last year aver
aged about five day-a material de-
crease compared with 1887.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

his smile is as bright as the sunshine.
His eyes?" They are heavens own blues
@EIis hair?' Some call it haXen,
IT'S not quite golden, that's true.
Loves me?" Yes, he vows it,
And seals the vow with 8 kiss,
As he steals an arm about me.
Does this earth hold more of blissf
And as he bends above me,
With tender words, to WOO,
am sure there's not another
Like my bonnie lad-Gget tlc0.
WAUEESHA, Wis.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

First Thespian Gust returned from Cape
Colony: HWhat's become of Joe?' Second
Thespian: ''Died. Killed at Cape Town
some time ago." First Thespisn: CHOW
did he die?' Second Thespian: 'sPelted
by eggs on the stage" First Ihespian:
'tWelI eggs don't kill" Second Thespian;
Calmly: "OstTich-eggs do"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

Nor a single baby has been born in
Liberty, KY, for thirteen years.
Liberty has a population OF 700.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

CANADIAN insurance companies an
nounces a reduction in premiums upon
all vessels which carry a store of oil
for the purpose of putting it on the
water.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

The Burlington Route was the frst to
ever establish a fast tram between Kan
sas City and Chicago. Special feature ''On
Time" People will appreciate this.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

Fame, like lightning. generally strikes the
man who is not expecting it.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

The best way to kill a falsehood is to let it
lie. Truth and facts will always stand.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

Chronic nasal oatarrh positively cured by
DR.. Sage's Remedy.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29
ri Don.f TEant ReIIef. - Enc

Modesty in woman is like color in her
cheek-Decided'y becoming if not put on.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

Ii Hume CHANG is reported as say
ing: Before half a century has passed
China Will be covered with railways as
with net. It's immense mineral re-
sources will he developed. It will
have rolling mills and furnaces in
many parts of the country, and it is
not impossible that it may do the man
ufacturing for the world. The viceroy
is exceedingly sanguine, but there is
no immediate reason for American and
European manufacturers being fright
ened at the prospects of the COMPETE
ton of the Flowery Kingdom. A place
once lost is rarely recovered The
Chinese were once the leaders of the
world, and fell behind in the race. It
is not likely that they viii again take
the lead. Turkey was once in advance
of Europe.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29

Tax ehimney-sweep does not seem to
care much for style. He wears tha
same SCOT all the wear round.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-03-29
THE LITTLE FOLKS.
My Lover.
By CLARA 4. HowAnD.

4 LOVER ?7 Yes.
q lover
. Strange as it may
- seem to you,
md, though I've had
others before him,
I have never found
one SO true,
Ta1I2@ Wen, not so
very
His form not so man
" as some,
SUIT his teeth are not
stain ed with to-
bacCO,
ted by rUEu-
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1889-03-21
Hams Creek.
YoUNGsTER.

The weather has been fine for
week past and is being made US
of.
Messrs. Frank Collins and James
May delivered fine lot of fat cattle
to-day.
Several of our neighbors have
been IMPROVING the looks of their
places by new garded fences.
Mrs. J. j. Anderson, who has had
bronchitis, ia improving.
Mr.. x. w. Rose sold lot Of
shoats to NJ. G. X Warden this
week.
Mr.. Bob Lee Carter smiles on
three sides of his face at the same
time now because he is he happy
fatherof ten pont 4 boy.
Mr.. Miller Davis also smiles on
tac same recount
AIR. j. K Wells has been auitn
sick this week but Is up
again.
Mr. Frank romIin died on the
5'h inst. OF pneumonis after ling
erIng illness of several weeks, and
was buried at the family grave
yard. He died in full hope of a
better life. He was aged about
81 years.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1889-03-21
well for the time of year.

w. r. Craig has purchased about
40 acres of land from Cope Whit
field and is setting it in fruit trees.
This is splendid farm.
B. F. Holt killed dog supposed
to be mad this week.
We are glad to see C. P. May
able to be out among his friends
again as he has been in feeble
health.
Ben Aynett has sold his inter
est in the pipe factory to Felix
Ay NETT who is sole proprietor,
Miss May Harris Alternately is
visiting Miss Lizzie Roden of
Blooming Grove.
Miss Sallie Alternately is stop
ing with Miss Mildred Aymett.
We have a splned.,l scheol at
Rehoboth with J. d Scales super
intendent.
Mr.. III. L. Booth passed through
here with new patent gate latch
which is great convenience to the
farmers.
Misses Alice and Anna May Cox
have been on visit to the Misses
Connell recently.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1889-03-21
CampbellsvilIe,
BY scRrBBLRR.

Pardon me If we make few ,e-
marks concerning this pretty
weather. Oar farmers have been
awaiting themselves OF the opp,rtu
nifty afforded by it 10 prepare their
lands.
Messrs Marcus West and Will
Cohee Of .daury attended services
here Sunday.
Mr. Bed Thompson, who once
lived here, is visiting friends 10
this community.
Misses Eva Bennett aud Priceila
Voss, two Of Columbus loveliest
ladies, were the guests of Mrs A. b
Cowan Saturday and Sunday.
Prof Freddie delighted an audi
ence here on last Saturday night
with slight of hand ami ventrillo-
uism.
Mrs. Yokley and Miss Mollle
are some better at this writing.
Mr.. Howard, near Marcolla los
one of his children with Pneumoni,
last week and has another very
sick.
Prof Guy Zuecarello has Ty
phoid Fever, Mr.. John Graves i
teaching IN his stead ut the Camp
bellsville school,
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1889-03-21
Wales
BY RURAL ROOSTER

As nothing has appeared ii your
paper from our beau irul hamle,
in a long, time permit me to
give you a few items.
Mr.. John Yancey, one of Bir.
mingham most promising Young
real estate agents is spending q
short while with his fathers iami.
ly and his numeroue friends
John is always welcome and We
greet hlm with hearty goodwill
A. f. Owiugs of Pulaski was
with US Saturday and Sunday.
Miss Helen Short of Rural Rim
Piles is visiting her sister Mrs. Sau
Ros ers this and the rass week.
Miss Maggie Black aud Katie
Brown OF Bufords came down and
lent their charms to the entertain
ment at. N. Towards Friday nigh.
Mrs. J. s.. ChiIders anl Miss
Mamie Wheeler Of your city spen,
Saturday at the residence tfMr. <
j. Childers.
Oar neighborhooI was aroused
from its legartby and arrayed Itself
in its holiday attire and assembled
at the residence of Mr. aud Mrs
j. NJ Harwood's on Friday nigh,
and enjoyed the hospitality of the
kind host and hostess in tie foru
OF most pleasant entertainment
Those present were: Misses Rogers
Short, Yancey, Wilkinson, Parker
Black, Brown and Ellege. Messrs
Lindsay, Davenport, Hancock
John and Will Yaocey, Carter
Woodland, Owiugs. johnson and
Wheeler. Mrs. Harwood our es
Unable hostess knows we'll how tc
entertain her guests and every one
went away feeling that it was very
pleasant to be there. Another is
anticipated at Mrs, Sam Rogers ON
Tuesday night.
Several of our young people con-
template going out to Lawrence
burg the third Sabbath (Easter)
in April.
Mrs James Simmons of Pigeon
Roost is visiting her mother Mrs.
Horne this week.
Mr.. Joe Lindsey says he amt
much "Short" and if he wasn't
quite so Black he would he
"sor,er" "Brown."