Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1889-06-22

your hand. ask your name, your age,
who made you and then tell you to b .
good boy. and run out and gambol 90
the green. You must tell him that your
name is Johnny, that you are years
old and that God made you. Now, don't
forget"
The bishop came and proceeded 10
prove that the mother was . prophet
He called Johnny to him, took his hand
In patronizing way, and in the pres-
ence Of tho proud and smiling mother
and father began his foretold catechism.
But Johnny was one Of those smart
youths who like to get ahead Of people
by anticipating their remarks, and %
when tho bishop asked him what his
name was. the young terror struck an
attitude. squinted his left eye, pointed
his finger derisivcly at the good bishor
and replied:
johnny. Nine years old. God.
Y-a-a-aI"
Even the ladies tell stories, and right
good yarns some Of them are. Mrs. Tan
ner, wife Of the pension commissioner
has story Of the experiences Of friend
Of hers which never fails to excite wild
and undignifed laughter. The friend
was Brooklyn lady, and her amusing
experience occurred at Cooperstown, N.
Y, In tho summer resort hotel there,
made somewhat famous by the Carter
divorce trial in Chicago The Brooklyn
lady was the envy Of all the other femi.
nine guests Of the house, for the reason
that her complexion was always cleai
and bright. No matter how often she
went boating In the hot sun, or played
lawn tennis at high noon, sho was sure
to appear at dinner with complexion
white and clear as rose in early morn.
ing. The other ladies, who tanned and
burned and blistered, despite all their
precautions, could not understand the
secret of the Brooklyn woman's immu,
nifty. No cosmetics were ever seen or
her face, and she exposed herself to the
sun in most reckless way. For two OF
three weeks the mystery remained un
solved. and probably would have con
tinued to this day but for tho interposi
ton OF peculiar and amusing accidents
Ono afternoon tho Brooklyn lady left
tho veranda Of the hotel, saying to hel
friends that she was going to lie down
in her room and take her daily "beauty
nap" Five minutes later, with her door
carefully locked, she was sitting in her
rocking chair with a complexion mask
on her face. This, then, was the secret
of the clear skin and defiance of sur
and wind. Tho "bcauty nap" ruse had
been played with great success, and a
yet no one had suspected tho true state
Of affairs. On this occasion, however,
bell boy raped at tho lady's door with
package in his hand. Hitherto all such
knocks had gone unheeded, but for once
the bcllo from Brooklyn forgot herself
and went to the door with the hideout
complexion mask on her face. As soou
as the bell boy had set eyes upon the un
canny apparition he took to his heels
and ran down tho hall screaming at the
top OF his lungs
He had had no experience with com.
plcxion masks. and naturally supposed he
had seen ghost Not thinking that the
boys strange conduct was caused by hes
own appearance the lady stepped out
into the hall TO SEQ what the matter waa
Slo thought the hotel must be on fra
and so did the other guests Of the house,
for. alarmed by the boys cries, they
came rushing into the hall BY scorea
In twinkling the corridor was filled
with men. women and children, all az.
cited, shouting inquiries at one another,
and running up and down to ascertain
where the fire was or what the trouble
might be. In tho midst Of them was thu
lady with the fine complexion, entirely
unmindful Of herself and thinking only
1ft In xla AZ. iplS tos1 1aA fkA ns<,-
tel and its guests.
As ono after another OF tho people dis
covered the secret Of the uproar the faii
disturber was surrounded by curious
and mirthful crowd, and among the very
last to understand the situation was ths
wearer Of the hideous mask. CHANGING
TO put her hand to her face, the horrible
reality was instantly revealed to her,
With scream that rose high above th(
laughter Of tho crowd in the corridor
she made a wild plunge for her room
locked the door after her and relapsed
into Mysteries. She did not go down q
dinner that evening. and for once there
were no whispered inquiries at table,
"How In the world does she keep hss
face SO clear9" Early next morning {
closed carriage conveyed to the train Z
lady who concealed beneath heavy vol
the finest complexion In Cooperstown.
by the way, there Is no moro interest.
ing woman In Washington than Mrs.
Tanner. She and her husband live Ia
two small rooms In the Ebbitt house,
Every day Mrs. Tanner goes to the SNen'
sion Office for two or three hours TO hell
her husband at his work, and TO make
sure that he eats some luncheon and Ia
other ways takes at least a littlo care OF
his health. She has learned the rou.
tine Of his work, and II necessary could
take his desk and keep the machine a-run.
ming. WALTER WELLMAN.