The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-17
BRlGdI BITS.

TIE prize simpleton Of the season is the
young man who goes away for his health and
spends his time smoking sarettes .-BGitinlore
american.
IT Is hard to make the boy who has been in
swimming believe that there is any good luck in
Inadvertently getting a garment on wrong side
out.-IeT1e Hdute Express.
II WISH the night would hurry up so we can
send off our fireworks said Johnny.
We'll let's go out doors and play" said
Willie. That always makes the dark come
quick enough. Chicago Tribune.
PoET-I have few verses here, sir. which I
should
Editor-Certainly. viii you kindly drop them
into the waste basket yourself? l am busy just
at present.-BlTtin0tOn Free Press.
THE Two BABIEs-Mrs. Fangle-Baby Mckee
is grandcaild of the President, believe:
Mr. tangle-Yes.
Il thought so. Now what relation to the
President Is Baby AnSoa?'-New York sun.
If a street car would make anything like the
tlme AFTER the passenger gets aboard that he is
called upon TO make in chasing one our dream
OF rapid transit would be realized. But cars
don't run that way.-B0S Commonwealth
ONE little fellow, on being asked If he was
not sorry that the school term was over,
promptly responded: No sir; I'm glad for |
just want TO go to some place where | can
hoh ri I'm tired of keeping still. Boston
Budget
Mrs. DE PENCIL-How does it happen you are
never accused of misrepresenting eminent
men In your reports of speeches and interviews!
Mr.. De Pencil ian experienced reporter)-I
don't print what they say, but what they ought
to ay.-NeC YORK. Weekly.
".YoUR HUSBAND looks like man of great
sell control remarked Mrs. Gadd to Mrs.
qaob. Well, he hadn't much when married
him. replied Mrs Gabb, but" sac added,
with a cold-steel look In her gray eye, "he s
getting it. '-Nete York Weekly.
FIRST CITIzEN-Why don't you get DR.. Brown
stone for your son? He must be a good physl-
can, Tor he has large practice among the
4U0.
Second Citizen-O, he wouldn't do at all. l
want brain specialist.-NeW York Weekly.
DocToR-Wen, Squire, and your good lady?
What effect has my prescription had on her
sore throat?
The Squire-Magical, doctor, magical I owe
you the most heartfelt thanks. For some time
past she has only been able to speak with diff
nculty, but now she can't talk at a1.-Pick- Ne
Up.
HIS INrENDED-Aunt Jennie says that the
seat of mans affections is not in his heart at
though, is it DEAR
her Intended-No, indeed, my angel.
bis lntended-Then a little ice cream would
not have chilling effect on your love for me,
would 1t, dear?-Terre Hdute Express
THE atmosphere of this car is oppressive,
Maria, complained Mr.. Billus. "I'il lust 20
out o the platform and get some fresh air
An he went out, met an old acquaintance,
and they adjour~ cd to smoking car, where
MI Bllus spent the next two hours in an at.
mo pierre of thick tobacco smoke and Russian
enigrants. -Chicdgo Tribune.
TIE thing has gotten away from me. and
now it is lost forever" said a disguised man
who was trying to dine in restaurant where a
piece II tough broied beef he was cutting
slipped on she floor.
Excuse me- said the waiter The sand
will be wiped from 1t and it will come up smil
ing for anot ier customer. This is not its first
knock down. am acting as final stake holder
here, and know my business. '-Ne,o Orleans
PLcdgune.