Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-06-13
A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT.
It May Sometimes Succeed, but Think Of
the Possibilities of Failure.

A woman, whom she once met on the
train, told Lydia Jackson Lamphere
how she kept her husband from smok-
ing, says Burdette in the Brooklyn
Eagle. '.On our wedding day. she
said. 81 made what called a declara-
ton of principles to my husband. 1
said to him that it was my purpose to
make his conduct my guide in all re-
spects; that in our family there would
be no separate standards and what
ever he would think right for himself
should be right for me-" You see
what was coming. .'One evening
supper was over. the shades drawn
and the lamp lighted, and we were
seated for an evening of reading or
sewing, when my husband took up his
pipe for an evening smoke. Seeing
this, calmly drew from my pocket a
pipe, which began to fill with tobacco
exactly as he was doing. As he pro-
ceeded, so did 1. coolly scratched
match, lighted the pipe and took a
Whit" Well, as the woman told
Lydia the story-the husband, of
course, gave up. Good story, as far as
it goes. but l can't help thinking what,
OH suffering sisters, what would have
happened if that kind-hearted hus-
band had not relented, but he had kept
on smoking, and ermitted-invited-
nay, urged his wife to join him? What
kind of an evening would they-that
is, what kind of an evening would she
have enjoyed? Oh, sisters. never,
no matter what Lydia Lamphere's
friends tell you, never try that cure on
your husbands-your respective hus-
bands, that is. 1t won't work with all
men. 1t would cure one of you of
smoking; that / am sure of, but it
wouldn't be him. You may safely try
it, if you are fond of excitement of
rather limp and stringy kind; it won't
kill you, even if you do take your first
smoke with briar pipe and niger
head tobacco. But you can produce
the same effect upon yourself with a
milder drug. l tremble-especially
about the shOulders-when [ think what
awful scenes may be prcipitated in
happy homes by the fallacious theories
taught in this story. Why, sister, l
have seen a boy, great, strong, rough
boy, IA years old, so wrought upon by
mild 5-cent cigar, not more than half
smoked, that he has stretched himself
supinelv upon the cold bosom of the
inhospitable earth and waited with an
unconcern that would chill your blood
for death, his father or the doctor to
come along. and he didn't care a cent
which got the first whack at him. And
when you think of a grown-up woman,
a married woman, mother of children
maybe, starting in on pipe-well, l
don't want to think of it, that's all.
I've got to go to bed some time to-
night, and can rest just as well with
out the nightmare as | can with it and
not "holler," till | wake up the whole
house. But can not close without a
parting word of warning. Don't you
listen to Lydia Lamphere on this
question, for she's your friend, and
don't want you to turn against her.
You take the advice of man who knows
more about pipes than you do about
husbands, and don't you go to smok-
ing in order to break him of it. Even
if you don't die; you might learn to
| like it as we'll as he does, and then
where would you be if he should if he
should want to quitP Don't you smoke
pipes; you chew gum, if you must do
something wicked. You can worry
the immortal life out of him with that
if you'll only keep at it, and talk and
chew great deal at the same time.
That's very effective. You keep the
guild and your jaws going, and he'll
give up drinking, chewing, smoking,
betting, swe-no, he'll grow worse
about that, but he'll give up every
thing else, Uuless, in a furious spasm
of insanity, he breaks your jaws with
cricket bat and jumps off the bridge
at the end of the third week.