News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-07-11

Anu OIneF WlGCHeTleo
Entrance, bewitch me-nay, set all
My senses in whirl
As she goes by, with manner sly
The beauteous summer girl.
-[Courier.
HEALTHY CLIMATE.
Easterner-Is Nebraska q healthy
State?
Nebraska Man-Healtyl Well sir,
there's an old man in Omaha named
William Shakespeare, and hang me If L
don't believe he's the original. New
York Weekly.
DIsTRUsTED THE FIsHERMAN's SCALES.
"Have you got your scales with you2''
said the trout to the sucker
why. have ans cred the sucker
.sWell," said the trout, ''I'm going to
take that fly, and I'd like to be weighed
before leave the brook, just formy own
satisfaction"
NO WEDDING TOUR.
Miss Gusher-I have just heard from
our mutual friend, Miss Joribanks.
She has married the Duke d'Bellcorde.
Miss Crusher-Fortunate girl! Did
they take wedding tour!
Miss Gusher-The dukes employers
could not spare him. He drives a horse
car on Tenth avenue brakes Maga-
zine.
ACCUSING PUsS.
Little Margery, playing with her kit
! ten, got a rather severe scratch IRON her
pet. Her lips trembled for an instant,
| and then she assumed the commanding
attitude that her mother had assumed
toward her under somewhat similar cir
cumstances, and, extending her hand,
said sternly: ''Titty, dive me that rina"
A ROUNDABOUT ROUTE.
Mrs. Gabb-Where are you going
this summer?
Mrs. Gadd Oightly)-Oh, to New,
port, Saratoga, and I don't know where
all. We will make the rounds, sup
pose. Haven't decided yet Just when
we will start, but I'll let you know, my
dear. ~
Mrs. Gabb (meaningly)-Oh, II
be sure to hear of it when you leave, be
cause my Cousin John is the railroad
ticket agent here.
Mrs. Gadd (hastily)-Our first jour
ney, however, VIII be to my dear aunt
farm. near Squashville, and [ do hop'
she won't insist ON keeping us all sum
mer, as she did last year. New Yorl
Weekly.
INCoNTRovERTIBIE.
She-I'm surprised at you, sir, t
come home at this hour. You ought t
be ashamed to look at the clock.
He-No'sb, dearsh other ways
about-clocksh shamed to look at me
cause he'sh holding both hissh hand
before hissh face Frank Leslie.
ALONG FELT WANT SUPPLIED.
| First Omahan-I've been told tha
YOU have made an invention that WI
5 bring you great wealth. What is 1tS
, Second Omahan-A pocket circulf
saw. designed to cut restaurant aad hot
l beefsteak. Omaha World.
| Won Doodless Wages called me
t fool to-day, don 'tchewknaw. :.
e Van Simpre-Aw, weally9 What di
e you do, deaw chawppie! :,
h Won Doodless-Oh, got even vii
s him: I happened to have me old ches
o nut bell in me pawcket, and l wang
e at him veal hawd, don 'tchewknaw.
o Van Simpre-Baw Jawvel Thawtw W
awful good, chawppie. : Judge.
Miss Gotham Why do you cut N
Selfmade?
4 would never do anything to disturb n
h peace of mind.
;, Miss Gotham-WelR
- Miss Hubberre-He spelt it ''piece
Flown Topics.
)f sTRABIsMUs.
. Jknow there's a cross about Norah's b
T. eye,
= p,+ that fact me love cannot smother;
!. For her eyes are so pretty No wont
q, they thry
of To he gazin' round into each other.
N Washington Critic
~ AN AWFUL REQUEST.
De Smythe There was only c
thing ever asked of DE Jones that
refused. Al,
'st for he's very generous. IL must III
ne been something unreasohapie'
I'd De Smy the-I asked him Tor SO
er money he had borrowed.
~ KEEPING HER DOWN.
en- Mrs. Struckitt (who recently ent
Is, tanned q Count}-HaVe you ever
y, any foreign noblemen as gnestsNI No. .
yn Mrs. ManOrborn (qulebyJ- y
rk as servants i Pack.