The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-11-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Bars to matrimony-T front gate
Life insurance in some cases is merely
a matter of policy.
The young man who is in love is con-
spicuous for his courtly manner.
A hero is a man who refrains from eat
ing things that do not agree with him,
A man is not necessarily mean because
he will jump on feather bed when it is
down.
Some men are born rich, some achieve
riches and some get into fat government
offices.
Goes without saying--The young man
too bashful to pop the question. - Teas
,Sittings.
These times suit the scissors grinder.
He likes to find things dull Fran
cisco Alto.
The stamp-window of any postofiiee is
sort of Lick observatory. Rochester
Post Express.
A man is known 10y the company he
keeps That's why she prefers to be Il
sister 10 him.
Men will strike for shorter hours, but
the earth continues TO revolve at the same
old speed.-J,tdge.
Republics were ever ungrateful. We
put our great men on postage stamps, and
then punch their heads.
Because bald-headed man doesn't
happen to keep lock on his head doesn't
signify that there is nothing of value in il.
Cupid is doubtless known as the God
of Love in this day because the sentiment
of love has become largely a sentiment
of cupldity
Queen of Spain-''Good gracious
The baby King has the stomsch-ache.
Lord Chamberlain (eXcitedly)--" the
Secretary of the Interior!'
The sunset fingered DER your hair
Was what her ardent lover said;
But other maidens young and fair
Said, Gracious, but her hair is red.
Washington Capital,
Fat Noman-"Oh, amt these mos
quitoes awful" Thin Woman-"They
never bite me- Fat Woman-"Of
course not. They live on blood, not
bones. - once a Week.
Misunderstood. Pop Photog-
rapher about TO remove the cap)--
Look this way, please Sitter-''Not
much, wouldn't look like that in IA
picture for nothin' Light.
1t is rumored that Queen Victoria
thinks of bestowing the Order of the
Bath ON Thomas A. Edison. In order
TO make him feel perfectly at home, she
viii probably make it an electric bath -
Peck'S Sun.
A Chicago bearded woman made
snug fortune out of the show business in
about twelve years, and now lives in
comfortable luxury with his handsome
wife and five beautiful children BiHg-
hdmton Republican.
''Tm all broke up, he sadly sighed,
As he returned TO town.
"A love affairf' mo- he replied
a hammock let me down.
-Bd.ar
Boston Man-''Well, my boy, how is
real estate in the West activel" Drum
mer Dust back from Kansas )-"Active!
Well, ] should say SO. A cyclone car
ried l50-acre farm forty miles the other
day. It's little too active for ne. -
Ksarney Enterprise.
A naughty little boy one day eluded
punishment by creeping under table,
where his mother could not reach him.
Shortly after his father came in, and
when told the state of affairs crawled on
his hands and knees in search of his son
and heir, when TO his establishment, he
was greeted with this inquiry; is she
after you, too, fathert'
An Euglishman has written book,
entitled: "Two Thousand Miles on q
Camel's Back We believe we can beat
that in this country in half the space
Let some one come out with Zone Thou
sand Miles on a Fence Rail. There are
lots Of people who have had the expert
ence, with tar and feathers thrown in
gratis, Detroit Free Press.