davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21
FULL OF FUN.


1t ID just - we'll not to say what
you think OF . red-headed woman
Warrington Critic.
-He-''What are the wild waves
sayings" She-"Oh. they are proba-
bly, making some current remark. "
Philadelphia Press.
-'Dirteen of my friends were
drowned by de upsetting Of de pote; !
was de only one saved" said a Dutch
man. "And how did you escape?"
asked an anxious nearer. Il did not
60 on de same pote."-
Mrs. Figg-'John. there's q long
red hair on your shoulder; and your
sleeve is ripped, too" Mr.. Figg-
"Yea put the hair on there myself
SO you'd notice the ripped place. ~
Boston Transcript
Editorial Courtesy-Mrs. Quillpen
dearest. have you replied to the in
vitation to Mrs. Bloodgood's recep-
tion?" Mr.. Quillpen-"No; she didn't
inclose . stamp.'-Burlington Free
Press.
Young JOurnalist-"Do you keep
all sorts Of pens?" Salesman--"Yes;
which do you prefer?" Young Jour.
nalist-''fve been advised to use a
trenchant pen. I'd like a small box OF
them. and you may put in some caus-
tics. too. "-Cincinnati Commcrcial-Ga-
Zettec.
When total abstinence man who
never drank in his life. RECEIVERS from
the effects Of a sunstroke. it makes
him blazing mad to see SO many beer
and whisky guzzlers standing around
in the sun, uncOncerned and unframed.
Texas Siftings.
Miss Gusher-"I have Just heard
from our mutual friend. Miss Jori-
banks She has married the Duke OF
d Bellcorde. Miss Crusher-Fortu-
nate girl! Did thcy take wedding
tour2" Miss Gusher-''The Dukes
employers could not spare him. Ho
drives horse-car on Tenth avenue"
brakes Magazine.
MIR. ghusband-"When you
and your wife have falling out. how
do you adjust the difficulty?" Mr..
Oldtimer-"We compromise" Mr..
Younghusband-'.How do you effect
the compromised" Oldtimer-''I learn
her wishes and grant them.".-Omaha
World.
Mrs. Houlihan-"Teddy. have yez
got any change about yez to-noight?"
Mr.. Houlihan-"Yis; clost upon dol
lar. Oh G ess. Mary" Mrs. Houlihan
well. kape it until the McGonigles
come round. Oi'll show those Rourkes
across the way that they amt the only
vans in the block who can rush the
growler six times av an evenin'r'-
Life.
-Bessie-"You refused Mr.. de
Temps? Why. any other girl would
jump 1t an offer from him." Maud
Gust graduated)-.'O, I know he's
handsome. but I never could marry
such an ignorant man. Why. asked
him few questions about the diff.
ferentation in protoplasmic molecular
bivalves. and do you know all he said
was: i suppose sol Lawrence
American.
A learned physician says: "Noth-
ing is moro irritating to cough than
to cough. II you have q cough. yo,
must abstain rs much as possible from
That's SO. And If you
break your leg. you mustn't limp.
Nothing irritates q broken leg like
limping around on it. Oh. there's
nothing in this world SO fascinating as
the study OF medical science when 20
get the combination
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21
Two Hundred end Eighty Years q Tn

I've aom0roo end Eighty Years q In.
In 1900, after traversing the Hudson
River from its mouth TO Albany, and care
either side Of this magnificent highway Of
nature. Hendrick Hudson wrote these
words:
1T 10 - bsautiful land o. one can tread upon
Two hundred and eighty years have mar
velously increased the beauty Of the great
turn 70 the scenes Of his manhood, he
would 6nd many moro lovely sights
than those upon which his eyes rested
in the early part Of tho seventeenth
century. The natural beauties Of the
Hudson are much the same, and no
description can exaRgerate them; but the
magnificent steamers that ply between New
York and Albany. the innumerable sailing
craft that dot the surface OF the mighty
river, the never-ending clusters Of canal
boats that are being t0wed up and down,
tho beautiful villas that one encounters at
every turn, the magnificent monuments,
perpetuating heroic deeds, that we find here
river OF the continent add m endless va
riety to the scenery, and . rcsistless charm
70 the eye Of the traveller.
The Now York Central and Hudson River
Railroad runs along the bank Of the Hudson
river the entire distance between New York
and Albany, and Is the great Trunk Line
that connects the metropolis Of the Western
world with the famous health and pleasure
rcsorts Of Central, Northern and Western
New York, including in it, list the Catslkill
Mountains. Saratoga, Lake George, Sharon
and Rtchdeld Springs, Lake Ontario, the
Berkshire Hills, Niagara Falls, tho Thou
sand Islands, Lake Champaign, the River st.
Lawrence, and hundreds Of OtherA
Tho New York Central il Q part OF the
great national highway across the CONT
nent, and for the beauty Of its scenery, the
number and importance Of the cities through
which 1t passes, its almost total lack Of
grades and curves, this great four-track
railway is unsurpassed in Europe or Amer.
icA.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21
Assuming Too Much.

Suspicious Looking Individual (ac-
costing q business man in Austin)-
In New York eleven men represent
two hundred million dollars.
b. MIS- that so?
''Yes. Now in Austin the wealth il
not quite so much concentrated. We
will. assume that twenty Of us repre-
sent one hundred thousand dollars"
Eyes"
1--WE will also assume that you and
1 are two Of the twenty"
"Yes.
swell, then. how would II be IL
wanted 20 draw out ten cents from the
capital stock Of the syndicate: would
you let me have it?"-Texas Siftings.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21
THE SURGEONS STORY.
It Cleared Up . Mystery and Made
Two Hearts Happy.

1.-The woman has behaved so badly,
SO shiftily; those green-eyed women
are always shifty."
The speaker was a tall. fair, florid
youth of some twenty-four years
of age; the locality was a smoking
room in the house of Mr.. Ashton, the
well-known surgeon. and the hour. to
be precise, was five o'clock on q dull
November evening.
You see she first Of all encouraged
It. and led me to believe that she and
her husband would be very glad to see
Tina married to me (she is only Tina
step-mother. you know. and then.
when my big brother G~me on the
scene and began making up to my lit
tie girl-as he does to every heiress-
why, then Mrs. Fowler cooled of, like
the snOb that she is. and told Tina that
she wasn't to dance so much with me,
and that-in short it wasn't to be. It
was horrid shame; don't you think SO.
Horace?"
1T sounds rather unfair. But per-
haps Challoner doesn't really want to
marry Miss Fowler"
oh. yes. he does. He admires her
immensely to begin with. and then
she'll have s. GOO year. He'd marry
awitch for $1,000 more. You know
what he is; he doesn't care for any one
but himself. whilst /"
but don't quite see what am to
do. what part am to play. or how I
can serve you BY coming to this sup
per party tonight" interrupted Hor-
ace sharply. He did not mean to be
unsympathetie. but he was very tired.
and he had heard SO often how much.
how very much, his young friend,
Hon. Humphrey Challoner, cared for
the beautiful Miss Fowler.
well. want your opinion and
your advice. which you can not give
until you have seen the family. !
want you to take particular notice OF
Mrs. Fowler. and to tell me what you
think of her. She is years and years
younger than her husband. and some
people admire her immensely. She is
awfully vain. should add. and more
accessible to lattery than any one I've
ever met anu believe that you might
talk her over. Horace, if you would
only take the trouble You see you are
clever and I'm not. and Challoner is an
elder son and viscount, and I'm a
younger son with nothing; and Tina is
only eighteen. and does not come Of
age until she is twenty-five, and she
says it'll kill her to wait SO long, and
and altogether we haven't a hundred.
to-one chance of getting married I'M
less somebody or other intervenes in
our behalf. Captain Fowler wouldn't
oppose US. I'm sure. if he were left 70
himself; but his wife is against ma.
and he is mere lump OF clay Ia her
hands,"
''All rightAl'll come to the supper.
then. as you are SO anxious about il v
And you'll be there BY ll:S0?"
Good
And, true to his word. At the hour
named Mr.. Ashton presented himself
1t the door Of Captain Fowler's resi-
denca He did not look forward with
much pleasure to the evenings enter
sainmsah for he 0islikea strangsrs,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

wholly unprecedented Her name.
he continued. after moments pause
''was--. But, no! it 10 not fair t.
give up the name; it was such an un
common one. too"
Oh, the look Of relief that came into
those light-green eyes. II Horace had
doubted for one moment the truth Of
his suspicious he was quite sure that
they were correct.
1T could not have been n more un.
common name than my wife's." said
Captain Fowler. proudly. as il his
wife's uncommon Christian name 70
flected luster upon the whole house,
hold. Il should think. dear. that you
were the only Blenda in AL England"
Very possibly" said Horace. dryly.
The following day Mr.. Ashton. who
received patients at home throughout
the morning. was honored by q visit
from Mrs. Fowler. She had hurt her
wrist in that little encounter with the
candle. and had deemed it wiser to
consult surgeon. After giving the
case his careful consideration, Horace
fastened to assure his fair patient that
there was nothing amiss; she had only
been frightened. not hurt.
THAT was . very interesting story
you were telling us last night. Mr.. Ash.
ton." said Mrs Fowler. in a low, nerv-
Gus tone. as she was leaving the room.
"Have you kept that wonderful letter."
Il have. thought had destroyed
it. but came across it the other day
in turning out the contents OF an old
dispatch box. But mean to burn it !"
..When?"
''Oh. before long. l can not do it
now. for the letter is at the top OF the
house. and have at least half dozen
patients waiting to see me. But a. you
are SO much interested in the story,
Mrs. Fowler. I'll tell you what I'll do;
I'll burn the letter in your presence
I'll bring it up to Davies street.
Yes. yes! But when?" very impa-
tiently.
'.Must fix . date. Shall we say,
then. when 1 come up to pay my visit
Of congratulations? Your step-daugh-
ter's engagement to my old friend
Humphrey Challoner is an open Sc
creL"
Mrs. Fowler turned crimson with
anger. and for moment made no
reply; then as Horace was opening the
door she paused for second time:
Mr.. Ashton. don't Judge me too
l was young ut the time
only eighteen-and I was very miser-
able. You don't know, perhaps. the
evil Of an over-repressive system
81 education. But, believe me.
thank God every hour OF
he day that I was saved from
.lOping with that-scamp. The mis-
Of that letter saved me.
went up to the terminus Cat Ports
caught a severe chill dawdling
about in the cold. and was in bed for
weeks afterward. When I recovered
ny father was-gOne."
Il do not Judge you harshiy. Mrs.
do not judge you at all. 1t
) not my place | need not add
hat you may consider my silence q
,oint of honor. But you'll plead
cause with your husband.
Won't you? All! ! know you will.
$50 my story has an ending after
H." thought Horace as he rang for
lis next patient to be shown in. '.but
might have had very different one
{ had only glanced at the address OF
hat letter before breaking the seal
t is strange how the little thing and
he great thing-that which is forgot.
en- rs soon rs ended and that which is
ever fOrgOtten-t0 our lives end hang
ogether. London Society.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21
Use GOntl0uooo.

Be gentle In stimulating the kidneys, 9th
erwise you will excite and weaken them.
The happiest results follow the use Of Hos
letter; Stomach Bitters to overcome renal
inactivity. Avoid tho unmedicated. fiery
stimulants Of commerce. The kidneys have
. delicate membrane easily irritated, and
upon this the action Of such excitants Is per-
nicious. Nalarial complaints, indigestion,
rheumatism, neuralgia and biicusness sue
cumb TO tho corrective influence Of the Bit
tera.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

To be quite English . man must
wear the single eye-glass. not the old
fashioned Glass-disk glued in the eye.
but q glass encircled with 3 gold rim
and provided with . sprinR. which.
fixed into the eyebrow. keeps the wear.
e. awake
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21
save That sweet Girl

droop into invalidism or sink into an early
grave for want Of timely care as the most
critical stage Of her life. DR.. Rerce's Fa-
vorite Prescription will aid in regulating her
health and establishing it on firm basis
and may save her years OF chronic suffer
ing and consequent unhappiness.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

In cases where Quinine utterly fails to
have any eject, and where the patient can
not take it by reason of its unpleasant in
luence, . cure is promptly obtained by Shall
lenberger's Antidotc. 1t cures Immediately.
In no case will there be more than one chill
after the first dose, and in the majority Of
cases not even that Sold by Druggists.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21
A more pleasant physic
You never will f1nd
Than Pierce's small s.PelletS,"
Tho Purgative kind.

MRs. MARSHALL o. RoBERrs, who Is often
pointed out ~ the most desirable part
among fashionable widows, has . life in.
terest In 81, O0O,O0Q
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

0RS. rRBpRRIK STEVENS that was, now
the Duchesse dc Dino. il New Yorkerstil
70 the tune OF ten real golden millions Of her
own, and now, one may say, the Dukes, too.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

IT il positively hurtful to use ointment for
skin diseases. Use 0lenn's Sulphur Soap.
Hill's Hair and Whisker Dye, 50 cents.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

PAry in the Side nearly always comes from
Carter Little Liver Pills. Don't forget this.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

Aliens for seeing when under th Z
water 10 described BY its discoverer ~
producing an effect which is both as
tousshing and delightful. Itgives dis
tinct vision Of objects twenty or thirty
feet oR. the eyes loss Of extended sight
when under water being because an en-
tirely different focus IL required. Tho
spectacle which provides this can be
made by putting two watch glasses Of
three-Quarters Of an inch in diameter
and an inch radius back to back, or
with the cOncavities outward.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

TIM two elderly Misses Rhinelander hAve
g, on, 900 between them, and bid fair to leave
II 70 collateral heirs with wonderfully fat
accommodations.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

Tn codling moth does mot lay it, eGgs
Sll the blossoms fall, and The spraying
should not Be done till the fruit II ths si10
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

WI only know ourselves and what ~
really are when the force OF Circumstances
etings ~ out
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

CHRss-so named from it, principal piece
(kingl-was one Of the earliest inventions
81 the Hindoos. being devised BY . Brahmin.
A.x vour aruo0,.. for .sr.r.;,,,. Pinch >,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

IT will pay to shake on largo proportion
Of the fruit from trees that are overloaded.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

IN ad6taisa y sspplyisS csls u evssy6o.
sesipsisa ~ alse carry q General Jesbiss
sssiasss 10 EIseasstypiss sad sssessaypiaS,
at the lowest pessibie rates ios iheseushly
reliable work. and ~ ssepsetislIy selieil yous
orders. Wsiss " ier estimates, spseimsas
o. sample sheets, and In deiag 50 address %
astDo 0ool eeavoaloee d eur seveo heuusae
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

HUNDREDS q Columns
81 Mumerous Cubs b ..
'eei iroa, and any sas'
wishing illHsiraiisas It
either long o. shesi o..
ticlss q . tvsay aaisrs
can net tall 70 6ad exact.
y these shsy viu waat
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-09-21

$50 the envelope was destroyed. and
with it had gone every chance Of my
ever being able to restore its contents
10 their destined recipient Cuthbert
then proceeded to inform me that he
had only brought me in two letters
blue ones-with the newspaper, and
there they both were on the table,
still unopened. So this third epistle.
which was, unquestionably. never in
tended for me had evidently arrived
between the leaves Of The Field. and
had slipped out when the latter
burst its cover in falling from my lap.
During the following Tuesday after
noon. which was an awful one. l often
thought Of the unhappy young victim
to parental tyranny and hoped that
she came to no serious harm"
''But her name. Mr.. Ashton" ex-
claimed the American; '.wc're all dy-
ing to hear her name. Was there no
signature?"
There was. but-goOl heavens!
you'll be burnt The last remark
was addressed TO Mrs. Fowler. who.
in stretching across the table to reach
some bonbOns. had nearly set fire to
her lace sleeve.
with great presence Of mind HOr-
ace seized her arm with one hand.
whilst with the other he drew back
the candle. but only just in time 10
avert catastrophe; and then. as his
eyes met those Of his hostess, il oc-
CURED 10 him. in dash OF revelation.
that this diversion had not bean
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-02-01

EOR RENT DWELLING +ks1hk
\ HOUSES in Rising Sun. Apply iii
to JOB HAINES. iy1l I'm lug
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-02-01
Hamburg Figs.

Are the sovereign remedy in all
cases where excessive or insufficient
nourishment, sedentary habits, sleep
lessness, travelling or pregnancy pro
duce tendency to
CONSTIPATION,
That bane Of the American people.
A neglect to remedy this condition
may result seriously.
Hamburg figs arc a fruit laxative
lozenge, composed Of fruits and vege-
tables. Although mild, they are very
effective, and their continued use keeps
the bowels 10 healthy and natura
condition.
BILIoUsNEss
Is the result Of an inactive Liver, and
its symptoms are manifested by head.
ache, furred tongue, loss of appetite
and yellow skin. Hamburg figs are
the only purgative that will effectually
relieve this condition and remove the
impurities that clog the system.
Hamburg figs are harmless if theil
use is continued indefinitely. and boz
should always be kept in the house
They are delightful to the taste. Dose
one fig. Price 25c. box at L. r
Kinks.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-02-01
The immigration Bill.

The bill reported by the special
Congre ssional committee on labor
and immigration, which is based
upon the Investigations made at New
York, Boston. Pittsburg and other
points last summer and fall, has just
been presented to the House. 1t
defines in no uncertain terms the
various kinds of undesirable imme
grants, and classes among such as
should be denied admission to the
United States, idiots, insane persons,
paupers, felons, rolygamists, anarch-
lists, persons who have entered into
any contracs to preform labor or ser
vice for any person, firm or corpora
ton in the United States, etc. Pen.
alties not exceeding $1,000 fine and
three years imprisonment are rec
commended to be imposed for viola.
tons on principals or accessories. 1t
is proposed, also, that tax of SIS be
levied upon every alien coming into
the United States, to be paid by the
transportation.agent or master of the
vessel to the collector of the nearest
port. A further section of. the bill
requires that an intending immigrant
to the United States possess a GER
tifcate from United States diplo-
matte representative or consul near
his residence, issued after an exami-
nation into his character without fee.
this certificate not, however, to be
conclusive evidence of the right of
the person to come into the United
States. nor relieve masters of vessels
of responsibility. Masters'of vessels
and officers of railroad trains coming
into the United States are, by anoth.
err section of the bill, required to re
port to the collector of the port OF
agent the number, nationality and
condition of foreign passengers.
The government officer. it is provid
ed, is then to board the vessel or
train, inspect the passengers, and
compare their certificates.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-02-01
Closing out the Trusts.

Encouraged by the recent decision
of Judge Barrett. of the New York
State Supreme Court, against the
sugar trust, bill has been introduce
ed in the Legislature of that State,
whose provisions embody the princi-
pies SO clearly enunciated by Judge
Barrett. 1t is provided in the bill
that "every contract or part of con.
tract in restraint of trade is void.
All contracts which provide that any
inhabitant of the State shall not pur-
sue an occupation or profession are
deemed in restraint of trade" A
heavy blow is aimed, too, at the mis-.
chievous interference Of foreign mo.
nopolists, in the section which pro.
vides that ''no corporation in this or
any other State or foreign country
shall make contract with citizen
or corporation doing business in this
State, by which person or corpo-
ration agrees to abstain from doing
business. Any such contract shall
be void. If the State corporation be
guilty, the attorney general shall
bring action to forfeit its franchise.
If the foreign corporation be guilty,
it shall be forbidden to do further
business in the State.' To bring
Judge Barrett's decision to its leg
itimate conclusion, the attorneys for
New York State, in the recent litiga-
ton to annual the charter of the
North River Sugar Refining Com
pany, have applied for judgment in
accordance with the decision.
These conspiracies must be crush
ed by the iron hand of justice and
law or they will begger all classes,
but the few robbers WHO constitute
the gangs of scoundrels engaged in
them. There are other similar con
spiracies in the financial manage.
ment of the country that have been
going on for years, that, being fur.
ther removed from the public haye
pursued their work quietly but none
the less disastrously. which have
escaped attention and exposure, but
their time is coming. Our financial
system, good in some respects, has
been shaped to rob the public to an
alarming extent. The demonetizing
of silver was probably the grandest
scheme to plumber the producing
classes ever divised by London and
New York brokers.