The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1889-01-09
Mr.. DuNDER DiSGUSTED.
Carl Fails to Catch On to the Tricks Q
American Politics.

Carl Fails to Catch On to the Tricks Q!
American Politics.
"Well, what's the matter with you?'
queried Sergeant Bendall as Carl Dun.
der limped into the station house the
other day and flung himself down or
the nearest chair.
Sergeant, vhas here to bid you
goodbye"
sNo!"
81 vhas going back to Shermany."
II declare! What put that into
your head?"
81 vhas seek und tired. I can't un-
derstand desc peoples. Nopody vhas
TWO times alike in America"
"But you told me you were going to
run for alderman, and that you had
caught on to Americanpolitics."
"Dot vhas my troubles. I belief I
know all aboudt her, butt know moth
ings. I vhas going to run for alder
mans. I promise dot hay scales to
feefty men. Ipromise twenty men dot
dey shall be janitor of der City Hall.
I promised more as one hoonered- fell
lers dot dey shall work for the. city for
three dollars a day."
''That was right. That's the way
most of the candidates do"
''Yes, but I don't understand Three
days ago feller comes in my place
und says~vhas=I Carl Dunder9: Ivhas.
Did you promise dot easternhayscales
to my brudderif he vote fer you9 /
did. Und did you promise herto more
ash twenty odder fellers, too? I did.
Vhell, you vhas fraud und liar,
und now you take dot on der nose!
Und he gifs me sooch thump dot I
see more ash feefty stars flying aroundt.
How does it come dot some Americans
can work dot dodge und be all right?"
"Well9"
''Vnell, told you der odder, day dot
I promise more ash feefty men dot dey
shall be engineer of the City Hall if
dey vote for me. In comes a man in
my place NIT his hat on his ear und
says vhas I Carl Dunder? I vhas.
Vhas you going to run for some alder
mans? vhas. Did you promise all
my crowd DOT each one of US should
run der engines nit der City Hall? I
did. Den, Sergeant, ne gifts me sooch
blow On my mouth dot can't eat
meat for seek months, und when he
goes avhay he says dot forty-nine more
fellers vhas to come after him. Some
American candidates can promise dot
shop to one hoorered fellers und be all
right. How vhas she?" ,ssy
Il don't know"
'.Und pooty queek feller comes in
my place und says vhas I dot oldt
Dutchmans who WANTS to be an alder
man? I vhas. If I vhas elected he
shall get all der paving shobs und
makes lots of money. He calls me a
liar und says I promise dot same thing
more ash two hoonered times, und he
mops me on my floor und goes avhay
like a lark. If it vhas some American
candidate he vhas all peaches. How
vhas she?''
II don't know"
"Vhell, eafery day somepody comes
und calls me- liar und says I should
be kicked. Eafery day comes some
Teller NIT his hat on his ear und
charges me NIT holding him oop for a
sucker. Ny boy Shake vhas scarf
avhay, my wife vhas seek abed und !
haf to lock up my place or be kilt"
'.It's sad lines," unused the sergeant.
"Und so I guess I shall go back to
Shermany. In dot country vhas all
right. If man spreckens to me in
Dutch I know What he vhas. II he
shpeaks to me in Yankee may be he
makes a fool OF me. I like to go by
dot Common Council and be a great
man, but l can't stand sooch racket.
I vhas q good enough liar, but I Leaf
something else out all der while und
der dear peoples tumblcs to me. Fare
well, sergeant. You vhas always two
times alike, uad I shall feel good by
you when l am far AWAY. If you
meet some odder Dutchmans shust
spheak nit him und tell him to keep
out of dose politics. ."-DetroI Free
Press.