The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-04-25
WISE AND OTHERWISE.
Pears Soap is an elegant toilet adjunct.
For a disordered liver try Beecham's
pills

For disordered liver try Beecham's |
Pills.
She can play the scales on the piano,
But she can't scrape them of from shad,
And her notes are not higher soprano
Than the bank notes she coaxes from dad.
First Boy-"Is your mother religiou,2
Second BOy-''Yes she fires the family
Bible at my father every Sunday morn
ing, Epoch.
Teacher-"It seems you are never able
to answer any of my questions. How is
this, my little boy?" Little Johnnie III
| knew the things you asked me, ma'am,
dad wouldn't go to the trouble of send
ing me here"
Minister Crom the pulpit)-"As the
air of the church seems chilly, l would
ask the sexton if he will kindly close the
front doors and windows of the build
ing The collection will now be taken
up."-Hdrper Bdzdr.
If we were to choose the most appro-
pirate symbol of the fleeing, the evanes
cent. the perishable, the decaying, the
here todGy and gone tomorrow, perhaps
it would be pair of boys boots.-FrOm
the Springfield Union.
Misunderstanding small country
tavern)-"AcGOmmodate me with bed
for the night y Landlord-"All beds
full. But can take down the clock. and
let you sleep between the ticks" can
right, I'm not par-tick-ular."
Mrs. A.-"Isnt that an awful smelling
cigar that mans smoking !" Mrs. B.
'Yes but l can bear the smell of il
when think how much worse it must
be to smoke il. Poor man be deserves
our pity rather than our blame.'
For the delicate and aged aud all in
whom the vital current is impoverished
and sluggish, Ayers Sarsaparilla is the
very best tonic. 1t restores the wasted
tissues, and imparts to the system sur
prising elasticity and vigor, Price ST.
Worth S. bottle.
We have a speedy and positive cure
for Catarrh, Diphtheria, Canker Mouth
and Headache. in SHILOH'S CATARRH
REMEDY. A nasal injector free with
each bottle Use it you desire health
and sweet breath. Price so cents. Sold
by j. T. Shurtleff.
Gus-"I hear George has married an
heiress. He's is in clover now | suppose.
Dick-"No, he's working like horse,
trying to pay his board at $40 week
hotel. Her father pays hers, and she
won't live anywhere else. - From the
NelU York Weekly
Mr.. r Good morning, Miss d de-
lightful weather, is it not True spring
weather, indeed. By the way, Miss d
are you denying yourself anything dur
ing this penitential Lenten season Miss
DO yes, I've left off my sealskin sack
-Fhilddeiphid Record.
Guest at Washington hotel (handing
over watch and well-fiIled pocket book
before retiring)-"I want to leave these
with you for safe keeping" Clerk
"You wish to stay all night, sir ?" Guest
of course" Clerk-"All right. III
apply these on account"
He-"You're always growing about
the lodge She-'Oh, no The lodge
is well enough well, my late hours
then" Il don't care about that even
but it does annoy me to get up to let you
in and find the milkman at the DIOR
It's rather embarrassing"
'One minute, mamma said a young
woman, IN be down as soon as l hav,
finished taking this photograph" PHO
tograph of what 2" "Of Georges last let
ter to me. In these days of perishabl,
writing fluids it's just as we'll to be care
FIJI. n-Merchdnt Traveller.
Mother Ito daughter)-I understand
my dear. that you made quite an i'm
preston at the Conversations the othe
evening. Daughter Yes, mamma
Mother-What subject did you discuss
Daughter-I didn't discuss anything
mamma let others do the dscussin g
The Reason Why. Hastings Hall, -
DO You know why Harvard's getting
to be such great institution of learning
Jack Go-Easy, 'S9-No ; why II. H.
Cause every freshman brings in som,
knowledge. and no senior every take
any out it's bound to grow.-HdrUdrC
LdmpOOn.
Him = remarked Margreen. AS b,
eyed the package in his hand "tha
seems to be a rather light pound of hut
ter. Mr.. Scales ~
Pardon me r. exclaimed the obliginI
grocer, blushIng II had forgotten tC
put the thick brown paper over the tie
sue. That will change both color anC
weight -
All competent authorities say Bright
Disease has no symptoms of its own, bu
presents the symptoms of other affec
lions. Warmers Safe Cure is universally
recognized as a specific for Bright's Dis
ease. That is why it cures so many 9th
er diseases, which are caused by thu
kidney affection. II restores the kidneys
TO healthy action.
shiIoh's Catarrh Remedy.
Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy, a marvel
,I;phth,r,a
mouth, and headache. With each bot.
tie there is an ingenious nasal injector
for the more successful treatment Of
these complaints without extra charge
Price 50 cents Sold by j. 7. Shurtleff,
Bennington.
MY WIFE SAID
to me last night How much do you
suppose we have paid out for doctors
and medic ne il the last year ? told
her did not know. To doctors have
paid nothing. and five dollars worth OF
Sulphur Bitters has kept health in our
family. l.. ANDREWS,
u Bowdoin Street, Boston. 10 g
Interested People.
Advertising a patent medicine in the
peculiar way in which the proprietor OF
kemp's Balsam, for Coughs and Colds,
does 1t is indeed wonderful. lie author
ICES all druggists to give those who call
for il a sample bottle free, that they may
try it before purchasing. The large bot
ties are soc and $lOO. We certainly
would advise trial. 1t may save you
from consumption. For sale by all
Druggists. . $500
After using Ely's Cream Balm two
months was surprised and delighted to
ind that the right nostril, which was
closed up entirely for over twenty years.
was open and free as the other, and can
use It now as could not do for many
wears, ! feel very thankful,-R. II.
Cresseng ham, 27j 18th St., Brooklyn.
Ny daughter and myself, great suffer
ers from catarrh, were cured by f Us
Cream Balm, My ssuse of smell is re-
Stored.-C NJ. Stanley, Shoe Dealer,
Ithaca, N. Y.