davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13

The new Bureau of correspondence
with agricultural stations, authorized to
be established at the last session OF con-
gress, has begun work at Washington
Professor w. o. Atwater is director
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13
To the Professional Hum orist.

When the billy goat and plumber, the icenian,
tramp and drummer. kerosene. small boy
and dynamite
Ice cream and soda water ''Ill be sister, daugh-
ter and the mother in-law" have faded out of
sight;
When there is an embargo on ell jokes from
Chicago; when the car stove and all other
Jokes in fine
Have been duly relegated to the PAST, let it be
stated, that III still remain your constant
valentine. THE SPRING POET
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13
No. 31o.-Numerical Enigma.

No. 319.-Numerical Enigma.
Ny and my 8, 13 and l6, defneth exceed
ingly bright; f.
MY 10 and my 4, and my Is and 3, is seeil in
the still summer night;
My 1, z, 4, and my and my 8, may always
be found in the depths Of the sea;
While my 3, Q and IA, and likewise my o, is
where "all roads lead"-youn doubt
less agree.
My II, 12, 9, is an article small; its import
ance you surely have guessedl
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13

contain some slang TO make IL a trl1e spicy,
and must be perfectly intelligible to every
one. So the valentine poet will run his fin-
gers through his hair, take O deep breath,
and evolve comic valentine on the barber
in about five minutes, as follows: A barber
will talk-talk, talk No, that won't do
Let me see; must cut his talk short-short,
sort, sport. That's it, and here it is:
TO THE BARBER.
More happiness of every sort
Would be your earthly share,
You talkative old hair oil sport,
If you would have a care,
And cut your stale old cheStnutS short
AS sometimes you cut hair.
Looks easy enough, don't its
Try it and see.
Sentimental valentines are harder to grind
out. They must contain some delicate senti-
ment, and our poet must transport himself in
spirit into lover The most prevalent valen.
tine usually winds up with the words.
"And be my valentine" /" but this is getting
to be pretty old About the only words shat
can be used to rhyme with valentine are pine,
design sign line, fine, entwine, wine dine,
recline. For instance take the first word,
pine. 1t takes the poet about three minutes
to grind out the following:
Oh maiden fair, with golden hair
Share, pair, care, rare).
For you with love pine
Oh will you grant that blessing rare
And be my valentine
If this weren't so old it might do, but the
poet must strike something little more
original So be turns to Cupid OF course,
nothing really new can be written, but he can
clothe an old chestnut in a new burr, SO to
speak. So Cupid comes to tho front once
more. Cupid is always associated with an
arrow, but nothing will rhyme with arrow,
except wheelbarrow, which word wouldn't
do at all; marrow, which is equally bad, far
row or harrow, which are worse, and care
oh, which isn't good, because it's two words.
So the poet turns his arrow into a dart,
which rhymes with art and heart, and
evolves the following
Istole into wood one day
To learn young Cupid's art;
crept up where he sleeping lay,
And took from him q dart;
In this, my valentine, pray
Twill touch your maiden heart.
It seems ridiculous, don't it, to put such
hallowed things as the god of love, love
itself, valentines and the rest into a machine
and grind them out! But that's what our
poet has to do. But it is pleasant to think
that the verses which are ground out with
such regularity by the poor fellow-have
pity on him-are sent by lovers all over the
land with such genuine sincerity that, though
they are machine made and warranted not TO
corrode or rust, they nevertheless carry their
sentiment with them, and do great deal to
help poor Cupid III the task which the little
fellow has set for himself. T. NJ
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13
No. s15.-Letter Enigma.

My first is in jackal, not in OK.
My second is in bear, not in fox.
My third is in deer, not in gnu.
My fourth is in ibez, and in zebu.
My fifth is in dormouse, also in hog.
My sixth is in jaguar, not in dog.
My whole is a quadruped.
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13
No 312.-Charadc.

My first is what all do after sleeping, my
second is plot of ground, my whole is a
town in Massachusetts,.
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13

While my 5 is a letter the English misuse,
and my 6, by an hundred times ten, is
expressed
My whole is part Of a proverb most true;
It's meaning self evident must be to you.
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13
a Hibernian Epitaph.

She gently strobe into the dark cave of
eternal night at six and a half o'clock in the
morning
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13
A Puzzler.

A man has advertised for "a boy to open
oysters with reference" We don't believe
it can be done
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13
Railroad Mileage.

The number of inhabitants to each
mile of railroad in 1850 was 2,571, while
in 1887 this number was only 412; and
the decrease has been so steady as to
admit of presentation by a curve which
seems to be hyperbolic in character.
There was conspicuous interruption in
the curve at the time Of the civil war,
and another after the panic of 1873, but
its nature is not materially affected by
these disturbances. Estimating the fu-
ture increase of population on the basis
Of the past, the prolongation of the curve
would indicate for 1890 population of
1876 to the mile of railroad, and the limit
of the curve would be approximately
reached in 1898, with population per
mile of 325. 1t would appear, therefore,
that the normal rate of railroad building
for the five years from 1885 to 1890 IS
about 5000 miles year, and that 1900
miles would be in excess of the limit in
dicated by the curve. New York Tele-
gram.
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13

No. 314.-A Tangle.
Daruno em hslal verho,
Nj dasesns 70 lege,
Lilt silfe' rdaems eb vero,
Wseet memrieso fo cthe.
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13
No. 317.-Mutation.

An energetic band are we,
To publish is our theme,
And Wen always. delighted be
To hear of some new scheme.
Like unto the cruel spider,
We spare not great or small,
Whether rogue or peace abider,
Who in our clutches fall.
Although some people like us not,
A deal Of good we do,
By giving here and there dot
OF something that is new.
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13
No. 31S.-Decapitation.

A massacre or a loss of life
Attending war or deadly strife,
Is first, and, if beheaded be,
Result Of mirth we quickly see.
The Florida agriculturist., 1889-02-13
Key to the Puzzler.

No. 303 03-Decapitations: Crash.
No. 3O4-Familiar Flowers Described: (a)
Snap dragon; (b) Bachelors button; (c) -Four
O'clock; i'd Snow ball; (e) Candy tuft; If
Lady slipper; (g) Buttercup; h) Tulips.
No. Autographed Hourglass:
e D N B u r G. III
B A V A r 1 A
M A L T A
A L
A Nj Y
4 T. Y o N s
F T. o r I D A
q T. Y e 6 II q N
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
PRICE THREE CENTS.


An American who has been travelling
In Europe thus describes the industrial
uses or old boots and shoes which are
thrown out into the streets and into ash
pits: After being collected tbev are
ripped open, and the leather is subjected
to treatment which renders it pliable
mass, from which a kind of artistic
leather is derived. This in appearance
resembles the best leather of Cordova.
In the United States patterns are STAMPED
on this, while in France it is used to
cover trunks and boxes. The old boots
and shoes are also treated in another
way by which they are converted into
new ones. The prisoners in Cen.
tral France are employed in this
way, the old shoes coming chiefly from
Spain. They are taken to pieces as be.
fore, the nails being all removed, and the
leather Is soaked in order to soften it.
iae uppers for children's shoes are then
cut from it. The soles are also used, for
from the smaller pieces of the leather of
the old soles, the SO called Louis XIV
heels for ladies' shoes are made from the
larger and thinner pieces. The old nails
are also put to use, for by means of mag.
nets the iron nails and the tacks and
brads are separated and sold. The con.
tractors of the military prisons at Mont
pclier say that these nails alone pay for
The old shoes. Nothing now remains but
The scraps, and these have also their
value, for they are much sought after by
certain specialists for agricultural pur-
'2GS;2. New York Mail and Express.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Dangers of Close Reports.

The initiative faculty in young persons
lads often to tragic happenings, as well
es to the query: Are there not vast dam
gers in the minute details, made public
in the newspapers, as to crimes and their
preparation? A lad in London has sue
ceeded in closely initiating the atrocities
of the Whitechapel fiend, dissecting his
victim-another lad-in just the manner
described in the papers relating the muir
ders. Another case in point comes from
Iowa, where boy killed his small
brother after witnessing the operation of
butchering hogs. The youthful murderer
became absorbed in the CORY operation,
and next day invited his victim to
play butchering and to assume the role
of the hog. This he did with such zeal
that his innocent young life was the for
felt. To give to tie world the minutest
details of a brutal murder is to increase
the chances that. among some of the
youngest readers of these samples of
unnecessary realism. there will be let
loose an evil spirit Of imitation. whose
mission will Ike accomplished only when
another horror is performed. The Illus
trated police papers and the sensational
journals that revei in details of hideous
crimes have much to answer for, and
too often serve as accessories in rob-
berries and murders. .-Pittsburg Bulletin.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Suspected BrattIeboro Burglars,

"A Sensation was created in Brat
tleboro last Saturday by the arrest OF
Michael Baker, proprietor of the Mali
Street Billiard Rooms, suspected 0.
several recent robberies in that ano
adjoining towns. Stores, dwellings
and railroad stations have been sys-
tematically robbed of various articles
including money. These robberies
have been made late at night, and
generally small bit and chisel have
been employed to open doors and
windows. Local authorities have
worked quietly to discover the marau-
ders, and Friday night Baker was
discovered coming from behind IA
Main street block, and subsequently
the officers found tools which hao
been used in an attempt to enter tn,
store window. Baker and his sup
posed accomplice, Miss Emma Smith
were subsequently arrested at his
lodging place, where, and in his bill
lard rooms, many stolen articles were
identified. Baker was bound ovei
in the sum of. $4,000 and the girl in
the sum of $500, in default of which
they were lodged in the county Jail.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

A press dispatch from Jacksonville,
Fla, dated Jan. 18th, says :-"Now
that election is over, Florida Demo-
Gratis want all the protection possible.
To-day the Board Of Trade here u
unanimously adopted strong resolutions
petitioning Congress to impose duty
of ST box on all imported oranges,
not merely in the months in which
they are shipped from Florida, but
all the year around. Resolutions
were also adopted asking all kindred
bodies in the state to take similar ac-
tion. In several counties thousands
of names have already been secured
to these petitions. Before the cleo
ton the Florida Democrats sneered
at the idea of protection for Florida.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Vermont News.
Fire at Poultney.

Last Friday night the works OF
Moselay & Stoddard, manufacturers
of churns and cleameries were totally
destroyed with most of their contents
by fire. Fortunately this is dull
season for this business and not O
large stock of goods were on hand.
The building is a large three story
structure and is situated near the de-
pot about 40 hands are employed.
Hon. NJ. c. Hurlcy's store, at No.
Bennington, and contents, including
the Post-office therein, were entirely
destroyed by fire early Sunday morn
ing. When discov red the flames had
consumed the interior. The window,
were protected by tight inside wooden
shutters, hence the flames were no
discovered in time to save ANYTHING
Loss from SO, 900 to Sl2, 900; insu
ance $4,000.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
ESTATE OF JOSHUA ID. PARKER

ESTATE OF JOSHUA ID. PARKER.
State of Vermont, District of Westmin-
ster, IS.
In Probate for said district, Nov 10th
1888.
10 all persons interested in the estate
of Josh. d. Parker, late of Londonderry
in said district, deceased, greeting. You
are hereby notified that J. w. Melendy.
administrator of said estate, las flied in
this court his petition representing that
1t would be beneficial to said esta,e and
TO all persons interested therein to sell M
the real estate of which said deceased
died seized and PRAYING for license to
maze such sale. And it appearing that
all Of the heirs OF said deceased residing
IN this Sta'e have filed in this court their
assent IN writing to the granting of such
license, il is ordered that said petition he
referred for hearing and decision thereon
TO the session of said court to be held at
the Inn of o. F. CoonihS. in Townshend
in SAID district, on the 9Th day of Feb,u-
ary, A. D 1889 when and where you may
be heard in til" pres Uses if you see fit.
CHAs. B. EDDY, Register
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

A year ago the New Jersey legis-
lature enacted a high license, local
option law. The present legislature
is democratic, made 50 by the third
party prohibitionsts, and propose to
repeal this law. Last week various
persons and organizations opposed to
the repeal were given hearing be-
fore the Legislature and among them,
strange as it may appear, was Gen.
Clinton B. Fisk, the late candidate
for president on the prohibition ticket.
This man, who did all that he could
to insure democratic success, both
State and National, now steps in and
begs these creatures of his own work
manship not to repeal this law. This
thoroughly exposes the humbuggery
of this third party business.
Had Gen. Fisk been working in
the interest of temperance last fall in
stead of the democratic party he
wouldn't have said to his friends !:
"Hold on A republican legislature
passed this salutary law, and they
will not repeal it, therefore, we should
vote to retain this party in power in
New Jersey and abide our time to
strengthen and enlarge the scope of
this law" This would have been
man and temperance fashion, but
then it would have raised the duce
with that little democratic side show
these fellows were engaged in run
ming.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Look Out for the Buzz Saw,

A folded sheet iron newspaper Gmita-
tom, designed for those prowling and
dishonest persons who steal papers that
do not belong to them. is an innovation
that will be hailed with delight by all
honest newsdealers. The paper contains
rat trap attachment and a buzz saw
which is worked by concealed MACH :
cry, duly and properly wound up in tie
morning. A tramp or dishonest perst Il
pouncing on the newspaper sets the na.
chlnery in motion: the iron jaws of the
rat trap close over the hand of the thief,
and the saw gets in its fine work wi 4
the most discouraging effect on the
kleptomaniac. San Francisco ArgonaGt.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Life In Missouri.

The little town of Bolar, in Mercer
county, Mo, turns out the following
t agic story: Henry Thomas, an old
farmer, has four daughters, named
Hattie, Margaret, Nancy and Jane,
aged l6, Is, 20 and % years, respec-
lively. Last Wednesday night Sam
uel and Charles Hasburn, brothers,
procured ladder and helped Marga-
ret and Jane out of second story
window of their fathers house, and as
they were about to elope with the
girls the old man appeared on the
scene, but too late to prevent their
escape. He at once procured horse
and shot gun and started in hot pur-
suit. When about IL miles from
home he overlook the fleeing party
and opened fire on them, killing both
the boys and fatally wounding Mar
garet. After getting nearly home
with the girls he was told that the
other two, Hattie and Nancy, had al
SO eloped with Ned Gleason and
Thomas Allison. He at once left the
first two girls in charge of some neigh
bors and started after the others.
He secured them without any serious
trouble and started back, but when
about two miles from home a mob
met him and strung him up to tree.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

That the 'ruling passion" is often
''strong in death" receives fresh il
lustration through president Cleve-
land. That public-functionary is
still engaged in vetoing pension bills,
and it would lot be strange that the
last act of his official life would be
the cutting off Of some poor devils
pension because he wasn't killed in
the service.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

The Inaugural Hall.

lne noral decorations at the Inaug
uration ball in Washington will be ol
a magnificent scale, and surpassin.
any effort in that line that has eve
been made before. The decoration
will cost $4,000.
The ball is to be given in the cour
yard of the Pension Building, which
is 3l6 feet long by ll6 wide.
The ceiling of the hall is to be
draped with laurel garlands six in.
ches in diameter, and 5000 yards
will be used. From the two end see
tions of the ceiling, on either side of
the dome, floral balls will be suspend
ed, each fifteen feet in diameter.
These balls will be SO arranged that
they may be opened in the center by
means of wires When the inaugural
march is begun and the Presidents
party is about to pass underneath,
the balls will be opened and great
shower of cut flowers will fall and be
strewn along the path. From the
dome in the center of the ceiling a
floral ship, thirty feet long, full rig
ged and of perfect model, will be
hung. On either side the words
"Ship of State" will be worked in
flowers. The eight large columns
will be draped with laurel garlands in
terspersed with palm leaves, symbolic
of the Republican victory.
The four galleries are to be draped
with garlands and smilax. The gal
lery column and gas fixtures will be
decorated in the same way. The
most unique and magnificent portion
of the entire work will be found un-
der the lower gallery. Here will be
hung a number of floral panels, each
ten feet long by five feet wide, rep
resenting the several departments of
the United States Government. To
this feature Mr.. Neal attributes his
success in securing the contract.
The Navy Department panel will
bear a floral model of a man of war
of the latest model. The words
"Navy Department" will be worked
in the panel in flowers, and across
this inscription will be floral pen.
A huge cannon, cannon balls, crossed
swords and a stack of guns will be
worked in flowers on the surface of
the War Department panel. On the
panel representing the Treasury De-
partment will be locked safe, two
keys and pen, all made of flowers
Of appropriate colors
The post-ofiice panel will bear
mail pouch with the letters ~. S.
NJ" worked on it, and a huge envel-
ope, with cancelled two cent stamp
and a post office stamp showing the
date "March 4, 1889" The envel-
ope will be addressed to "President
Harrison, Washington, d. c." One
panel will serve to represent the
State and Judiciary departments.
1t will bear desk, ON which will be
placed an open law book, roll of
parchment and quill pen. On the
of the Interiors panel
will be the stump of a tree, with an
Ak imbedded in it. Also plow and
A wheat sheaf.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
WHY WILL YOU

Worry about tn ut palpi at on of the hear
aud 'ay awake nigntS Ihjnhi of that trl
fiblr feeling Of numbness Which you OF
Ten experience in your arm and Limb
lh"sc symptoms, with many others, war,
YOU of Il coalition OF The circulation tha
you cannot afford to have become mo
serious. Anti-Apopl ctine against APO
p eNy) is a remedy hat will elieve thc-t
symptoms and cure Paralysis, Rheum
ism. Hea t disease. Liver. Kidney an,
Bladder Troubles. P.,ce 81 90 at you
drug sgist's.
They all chew il! What? "Do.
minion Navy the best plug to-
bacco on earth.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

THE HoMLIEsT MAN In LONDONDERRY
AS well as the handsomest, and others are
invited to call on any druggist and get
Free trial bottle of Kemp's Balsam for
the Throat and Lungs, remedy that is
selling entirely upon its merits and is
guaranteed to relieve and cure all Chron-
ic and Acute Coughs, Asthma. Bronchitis
and Consumption, Large bottles so cents
and 90
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

We publish in this issue the pros
pectus of that sterling newspaper, the
New York Mail and Express We
take pleasure in recommending it to
our friends as an able, clean and re-
liable newspaper.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

Last Saturday afternoon the through
train north over the Passumpsic road
ran into the rear end of way freight
train standing on the track near Pas
sumpsic station. DR.. j. r. Nelson
of st. Johnsbury,who was in the ca
boose, had his cheek bone jammed in
and broken.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

The news from Samoa relative to
the outrages on the American flag by
German men-of-war is confirmed by
later dispatches The American
houses were shelled, and the Stars
and Stripes cut down and partially
burned. 1t is stated that tie United
States man-of-war Vandaia has sail
ed from San Francisco for Samoa.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
BuckIen's Arnica Salye,

The best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum. fever
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chilhlains.
Corns, and all Skin eruptions. and post-
lively cures Piles or no pay required 1t
is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction,
or money refunded. Price 25 cents box.
For Sale by G. G. Smith, So. london
derry, and F. E. Smith, Jamaica, VT
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
A Victim of Etiauette,

The ridiculous rigidity of Spanish
court etiquette was answerable for the
death of Philip Ill. lie was busily en-
gagged with his dispatches and state
papers, and, the day being cold, great
brazier of burning Goals was brought into
the room and set down SO close to his
majesty that soon his royal face was
bathed in perspiration. 1t was not in his
nature, however, to find fault or COM
plain, and SO he sat in patience, enduring
the excessive heat, until the MARQUIS Of
Polar, one of the gentlemen of his cham
ber, perceiving how seriously he was in
convenienced, told the Duke of Alba, an
other of the royal body guard, to remove
the brazier. No, said the duke, that was
the duty of the kings chief steward, the
Duke of Usseda, who was accordingly
sent for Unfortunately he was not at
hand, and before he made his appear
ance the king was SO heated that next
day fever supervened, which, acting on a
naturally fervid constitution, turned to
erysipelas, and then the victim of eti-
quette died. -Gentleman's Magazine.
THIS PAPER PAX F. Kdsa be fund = @ On tls at Geo:
Advertising Bureau no Spruce stl where advertisne
"'A'sac's may w made Tor 1t IN NEW YORK;
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Why 1t Went Ont,

"Keep your seats. please, ladies ard
gentlemen" said theatrical MANAGE,
there is no trouble whatever, but for
some inexplicable reason the gas went
out"
Then boy shouted from the gallery:
Perhaps it didn't like the play."-New
York Sun.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

A fatal boiler explosion occurred al
Danville Tuesday. Ernert Comstock
or st. Johnsbury was instantly killed
and breaking a leg for Albert Morgan
and an arm for Carl White.