Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-01-18
Mr.. AND MRS. BOWSER.

no longer hold it over me as a
weapon to humble and terrify !
1t was away back in June that
he first began to refer to it. lie
lost his keys one day through a
hole in his coat pocket, and as soon
as he entered the house he turned
that pocket wrong side out and e1-
claimed:
"Look at that, Mrs. BOwser-lOok
at that | believe you claim to be
a wife and mother aud house
keeper ~
"You have a hole in your pocket"
"Oh, havel And you can see
it You can actually see it !"
"YOu should have called my at
tention to it before, Mr.. Bowser'
III mend it IN about a minute"
"No, y on won't. A wife with no
more inter est in her husbands
cloth es than this should let them
entirely alone You haye been
the means OF my losing all my keys,
and now | give you fair warning
that you don't get no Christmas
presents out of me-not even a
stick of gum !"
ne got a darning needle and a
piece of string and mended the hole
himself ,and as his keys were re-
turned to him later in the day be
apparently forgave me until next
time. Along in June he had a
soft corn between his toes, and one
evening he said:
"Seems to me you ought to have
heard Of some cure for soft corn"
~ have. a lady told NE that
soap and borax cured one for her.
Shall fix up some for you !"
He was delighted at the idea,
and | shaved up some soap, made
the preparation and fused over
his foot for an hour. Next morn
ing that corn was so sore he could
not put on his shoe, and he limped
around and yelled at me:
"You did it to secure revenge on
me-you know you didl You ex.
pected blood. poisoning to set in ~
~ simply told you what a lady
told me-"
81 don't believe anyone ever told
you so Soap and borax Think
of it The stuff would kill horse !!
had planned, Mrs. Bowser, to
make this a memorable Christmas
for you, but now I'll be hanged if l
do You don't get as much out OF
me as you can put into your ear y
The corn got well in three or tour
days, and 1t was six weeks before
Mr.. Bowser had another opportu-
nlty to terriry me. One night |
had to 90 down stairs for some
medicine for baby, and when |
started Mr.. BOwser lay on his back
his knees drawn up, and his snore
making the earth tremble. When
returned, he vas behind the door,
and | had to speak to him twice
before he would come out.
"Mr. Bowser, what on earth ails
you y | demanded.
"Where have you been z"
"DOwn stairs after the pare
goric."
"Did you upset a chairW
eyes. do believe you thought
burglars were in the house, and
you got up and hid behind the
door,"
"You believe that, do you 7" he
shouted, as he bravely walked
around and looked over the banis-
ter.
Dwell there's something very
queer about It,"
"Mrs BOwser," he said, coming
back to me, "you have cast rehec.
tions on my personal courage |
Your object IS to humble me You
knew ! was after my revolver, but
YOU chose to cast a slur where an
other would have praised. was
thinking of diamonds for your
Christmas presents. | shall think
no more. You won't even get a
hair.pln from mew
Three or four weeks passed away,
and one evening he came home
with a couple of tickets for the
theater, aud insisted that We go.
We went. lie did not like the
play; somebody stole his gloves,
and we missed the last car and
had to walk mile and half. He
restrained himself for the first half
mile, aud then the explosion had
to explode.
"Mrs. Bowser," he began, "this
is the last time you will ever make
fool of me~
"Why, what have | done p
"Done Didn't you drag me ofi
to the theater and bring this re-
suit about -
"No, sir. 1t was You who hrst
suggested our going"
alt was, ehi That remark set
ties you, Mrs. Bowser. | was
thinking of pair of bracelets and
a seaI.skin saque for Christmas,
but | shall think no more-no morel
If you get even a paper of pins you
may be thankful"
About the 1st OF December MT
l..