The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-03-24


vernon to secure to himself autocrati
powers in the appointment of all the officer
in the territory and engraft various othe
imperial features upon our unhappy terri
tory, has convinced him that Kingsley liet
in saying that Westward the star of EN-
pire takes its way'' Go West, and grow
up with some other country, less free.
The Tribune editor having failed to con
vince the city council Liberals that the.
are ''stoughton bottles and ought TO re
sign there is nothing left for ne editor t.
do but to resign himself to his fate, admi
that he is a slave to bottles of every de
scgiption, fall on his own sword and yielC
up the quill.
BY the way if the Tribune editor were
actually to take it into his head to re
sign wouldn't the whole community be
resigned!
It would he like the good for nothing man
who died suddenly, that the minstrel tells
about.
.'what complainta' asked former
acquaintance
"Oh no complaint at ALL" Responded a
neighbor of the deceased. Everybody
satisfied.
The seasons may come and the seasons
NAV 90. but it is a season we are not likely
to have in which there occurs no Uncle
TOMS Cabin. These companies and colored
minstrels do not require extensive advertis-
ing; like the battle, they can be smelt afar
off.
The semi-annual meeting of general pas
senger and ticket agents held recently in
New York decided that corpses must here
after go by express and not as passengers.
IUHeems that every form of deadheading is
being frowned down.
GIN dramatic circles, a long run means a
success; in the case of the run after Tascott,
it didn't.
a common cause unitcs US was good
in Democratic Powers, and 'armonized
with the Tribune declaration that there
were neither Democrats nor Republicans
in the Utah political arena. The recollec-
ton of these sugar coated words must
give a shock of pleasure to brother Powers
now that so many Democrats are being
named for the offices out of which Demo
Gratis in this territory are to be lifted
Let's see! Where's the common cause"
now! O, Democratic Powers, your liberal
name is mud.
Tho TT,-f1. r.,
renee for governor and Mr.. Emeree for
marshal, or nothing. This reminds one of
the Irishman in this city who offered pare
goric to his sick infant and the sick infant
would have none Of it" His patience
outdone at last, he exclaimed: "Ye'lP' hae
paregorick, d We, or yen hae nothin'."
SO far as the Tribune is concerned the sick
Republicans here will ''hae'' Lawrence or
they'll hae nothin'."
Scene-Alta club.
Chairnan-Well, then it's tae unanimous
sentiment Of the people of the common
cause that unites US that Chas. S. Zane be
rainstated as chief justice of Utah, and that
President Harrison be instructed to
oct accordingly" A voice from
the flushed throng-"Iu be ID
id if it is" CONSERVATION and sudden
cries of "Jack Mormon" From the rear
end of the hall approaches a bushy
head with buffalo eye brows 1t is the
Sfsggy-eyed shyster of sheol-Moccasin
Mac.
Al-'Moccasin Mac"
M.N-Ye do well to call him Moccasin
h., 10. b,,,, al 4
ears since before the days when Nor
mon foot trod these dew emburdened plains
until the present time that common cause
unites US, has been discovering this
territory We do me proud, who would
hold the Office of him who hath exchanged
church mutton for a song. Join in mine own
funeral, is it, and see one emery within the
marshal's Shoes all but feet to warm my
toes. Thus would We reward me. But, Great
Scott, "I'll see you all in -- first If
can't be marshal, I'll bust the spell. You
work your racket; III take care Of my
end
Moccasin Mac is in Washington. There
Is evidence that the club is recovering
do you not think, asked a real estate
man of one of the minority, " that the nut
tipJicdtion of additions and divisions in our
city is a chief factor in the subtraction of
-" "See here, my FRIEND, was the
reply, 81 got through with arithmetic
good many years ago; if you have any
problems in logarithms fire them at me,
I'm your man; but spare me on Rays
Taird Part.
- Chief Just'c e Fuller's fifth daughter is
Jewel Of girl She elop ed on Tues lay with
young fellow from Chicago. She didn't
tell her pa of what she intended to do and
thus render it necessary for him to stop
her; she went without warning, and was
married before he knew anything about it
As he has eight more of them and only
$40, 800 year salary, it is fair to presume
that he will not break his heart.
A little three year-old maiden, a friend of
ours, says that ice cream is her favorite
color She is perplexed not only by things
of the flesh. but occasionally fails 10 grasp
the fitness of eternal things, as shown by
her recent version Of the Lords prayer, to-
wit: "Thy shall be done on earth as it is
done in heaven"
C. Sum Nichols, is the way the editor Of
the Times signs his name. We hope you
will see not only some, but good many, |
friend Nichols. By the way, Nichols echoes |
public sentiment when he says the people of |
Salt Lake are getting tired of standing Pat |