The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-10-22
Gbe Sntelligenter.
oaI.sl 10. % .aaaT Toarts.alh slEeot,
BREAKFAST BUDGET.
Now autumn SUMMER puts y rout
And chilly Winds 70 blow begini
The Ice cream Joke u going out
The IIoYepiPe Joke u coming ~;

| NOW hukulIu HWk W NgNN
And chilly Winds 70 blow beRtni
The Ice cream Joke IL going out
-BOSiOR C0urtz.
On the creased pole OF success there's
always room at the top.-PucE'
Dyspepsia and q broken hesrt exhibit
a wonderful similarity IN their surface
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
To marry and settle down is no longer
au fait; it's more the fashion TO marry
that you may settleup.-S'Os and Leather
Reporter
THETA Of Missouri make 1t q penl,
Tertiary otIense to sell intoxicating
liquors to students Of any educational
institution,
Pueblo, CAL, Is making preparations
for building mineral palace on the
same general plan as the corn palace at
Sioux City,
Farmer Martin, OF Mahoning county,
o., gave an old pair Of pants to a tramp,
forgetting TO remove SIS and valuable
notes from the pockets.
Seven bushels Of fruit have been
picked this season from the apple tree on
the Beaver property at Lancaster, Pa,
It was planted l27 years ago,
The Dictionary Of Fossils" issued by
the State OF Pennsylvania, contains
thlrty-iour pages In small print correct,
ing statements on the other 405 pages.
He-"Will you marry meP" She
"No," He-''Fhen will you marry Bob
Sawyer2 He wanted me 10 ask you for
him, too, while was about it,"-EpOch
Theldeepest bore hole in the world il
at Schladenach, near Leipsic, It meas
ures bout 5,7S5 feet. The time expend'
ed in boring amounted TO six years, at q
cost Of $4,000,
"May l smoke pipe in the house
after we are marriedT said Augustus,
Certainly" replied Maude, VINO has
some ideas Of equal rights; 'may Up
WdshiHgiOn Capital.
The Chicago Inter OCEAN says, "Shall
our hides BIZ proteCted?" II seems 10
demand that the National Government
shall buy q mosquito bar for every citi'
zen oil Illinois,-Picdyane.
Ono Of the married lady judges at the
FentOn Mich. fair entered several arti.
cles under her maiden name In the class
Of which she was Judge, and then award
ed the articles tlrst prize.
Two hundred and fifty men arc con.
stantly at work on the great tunneiun.
der the Hudson river at New York city.
The whole will probably be completed
Aithin the next Six months.
snow, really, what was the most as
tonishing thing you saw in Paris, Mr..
Splcer?" asked Miss Gusher, and with.
out moments hesitation, Seth answer
ed, any hotel bill.-BOstOn Bulletin.
Prospective Father.in.Law-"How do
you expect to get along without salary
Il you are going to get married.
Young Smiley BaSkey-"That Is not the |
point-how am 10 get along II / don't |
get married? "-7imG.
A London tailor advertises himself in |
the Herald as "habit maker to the royal
family" II no formed the habits Of the
Prince Of Wales he has heap to answer
for, both In this world and the next
7erS Haule ErpreSs.
John p. St. John, IT,, has been sued |
out in California by his wife, who asks
legal separation. "Young St. John is |
Just as radical on the liquor question as
the old man, but he goes TO the other ex-
IRENE says the Kansas City Star.
Popiniay-"It does seem as II Blobson
told more lies in these days than he ever
did beiOre,n BloOdRoOd-"Yes; he has
been getting o set Of false teeth lately,
and 1 actually believe 1t affects his
speech. "-BarliRgtOn Free Pres.
~ heard yesterday" said Mrs. links,
"that Featherton, the coal dealer, has &C.
quired q fortune OF $50,00O." EYES,"
said Mr.. links, land it's about time he
got 1t, too. He has been lyingin weight
for 1t for the last five years. "STime.
The political editor" OF the Union
City, Mich, high school is a lad selected
10 read the papers every morning and
write the principal topics Of public inte-
rest throughout the country upon tho
blackboard for the benefit Of his fellow
pupils.
Judge-"Do you know the prisoner,
MIs JOutb JuuSb- 1tbi W tuG Duups
Judge-"What's his character" Jones
Didn't know he had any" Judge
"Does he live near your" Jones-"So
near that know he has spent less than
s. for fire wood in eight ars."-NctU
York Evening Sun.
The new departurein architecture has
no doubt done great deal TO improve
the general lasts oil the public, but II has
gone further than that. It has made 1t
almost impossible for thief 10 tell
whether he Is breaking into church,
art gallery, orphans home, or a business
mans dwelling. They are all alike
Dretroil Free Pres.
Teacher-"Tommy, do you think you
can spell the word 'certainly?' Tommy
Eyes, sir" Teacher-"Well, you may
try" Tommy confidently )-"s.e.r.r:t't
-" Teacher Gnterrnpting) Elm
afraid you can't spell 1t, Tommy" Tom.
my-"Well, can't you give fellow q
show2 I'm not half through yet.-Hdr-
per'S Young People.