Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-08-26

humble slash by the water-works. me own un-
plugged watermelons, me own starry banner
free, and me own country where any man az
any time may go to our large stock of universal
freedom and help himself to enough 1or
mess.
UNIFORM COURTESY.
OF course, L have been compelled, in return
for the uniform courtesy shown me by foreign
powers-and may truly say that the courtesy
extended to me while absent was of uniform
variety-I have been, L say, compelled, OF
course, to preserve the outward appearance OF
great delight over the institutions of Great
Britain and Europe, but / come back to you
more pleased with our own methods OF govern
ment than ever before. While there may have
been mistakes made by the administration dur,
ing my absence there were really fewer than
had feared there would be when went we iaSai away
cannot rectify, / think, in few weeks time,
and l really needed the rest very much:
And now, fellow-citizens, let us gird on the
armor and strive faithfully to build up our
great country and our wave-kisSed island. Let
us have the great exhibition in Tompkinsville.
We have every facility for it-a good view of
the ocean, a rapid transit good street car serv-
ice between Tompkinsyille and West Brighton,
via the great scenic route along Jersey street
and past the plaster mill, good sea bathing and
soft-shell crab fishing for the true sportsman.
Let us not cease to work early and late for this
great object, and thus make Tompkinsville and
her rich Castilian name household word
around the globe.
NOT QUITE AS HE EXPECTED.
1 give this speech here because 1 did not
get a chance to do so when was received in
the harbor on my return, and it is so good
that cannot bear to see all the people lose
1t entirely.
When our steamer arrived in the bay we
were received by the Doctor at Quarantine
in his quiet way. 1 began my speech, but
he stopped me in order to look atmy tongue.
Instead of two cases of champagne, he found
two cases of measles on board. Instead of
my italian band, four handsome custom
house officers got aboard. l began to ad-
dress them with my hand thrust into the
breast of my coat, as l had seen eminent or
ators do. They shut me off and asked if 1
had anything dutiable in my luggage. 1
said nothing special, as nv money gave out
when paid my hotel bill in London, so
that 1 thought 1 was doing pretty we'll to
get home with the clothes and things / took
with me. They were very gentlemanly, but
could see that they were there on business
and not to listen to my bright remarks.
The Perth Amboy Glee Club did not
come, and the tug went by US tugging a
fleet of garbage scows out to sea. 1 felt
very much humiliated, because 1 had told
Captain Bedford that l expected to be sur
prised with an ovation, and hoped that it
would not interfere with his plans about
landing. He said it would not He never
allowed those things to bother him, he said.
He was used to it.
When got home to Staten Island, feel
ing that had been away 100 years, and
that 1 would hardly be remem-
bered even by my own family, 1 found that |
nobody knew 1 had been away. 1 can now
see for the first time how the world squeezes
along so we'll when great man dies.
ALAS, how soon we are forgotten when |
we are gone to Paris" BILL NYE.