The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-05-23
PuNeENr PARAGRAPHS.

-"Order slate" is the iniudicious
advice suspended before certain coal
offices Colorado Farmer.
Every man likes to talk about
himself; a good listener makes do
lightful wife.-Louisville Recorder.
Say" said the city youth to the
modest countryman, ''hay-seed out o.
your hair yet?" "Wal," was the de-
Hberate reply, 81 jedge not from the
way the calves run after me.
The average club man cares very
little about music. If he can only
strike the key of the door with reason
able accuracy he is content.-Burling-
ton Free Press.
If church bells did not ring no one
would remember that it was Sunday.
That's why they ring, and it prevents
lots of men from starting out with fish
poles. Detroit Free Press.
The average hotel clerk knows al
most every thing, but he can't tell why
a woman will persist in asking what
time the five o'clock train leaves. =
Hotel Mail.
Mrs. Hinks-"Has your daughter
made good match?" Mrs. Winks--
''She married nice man" ''Bless her
heart. And so she married richp"
'Rich?' Eyes; you said she married
an ice man. Omaha World.
-"Wont you give my new play
good puff?" asked an author of a dra-
matte critic. | hardly think it would
be safe" '.Why notPn well, it's SO
weak that puff would blow it to
pieces. IN. Y. Sun.
Il know my defects" said B-ien-
l1ins. pompouSly, and as the bystanders
looked at him admiringly, one of them
whispered to another softly: What
an awful lot that man must know. -
Somerville Journal.
Mrs. Talker-"I m sick to-day and
want you to tell the doctor to come up
on your way down town and Mr..
I. (interrupting) )-"What's the mat
ter?" Mrs. TT think I'm going to
have the dumb ague." Mr.. r. (going
out) THANK heaven. "--WashingtC h
Post.
Tho larger class of destructive
wild animals are numerous in New
Mexico, some ranchmen losing fifteen
to twenty per cent. of their calves and
cattle by bears, panthers and mountain
lions. The territory gives as pre-
miums for killing mountain lions $50
per head, for bears and panthers $S.
A " estern paper tells of q dog
that, after having been whipped in a
fight, deliberately laid himself down
on railroad track and permitted a
train to kill him. Really, our whipped
prize fighters don't seem to have as
much sense as a dog. They prefer to
take another whipping.-N. 7. Ledger.
The twin brothers at the Mountain
House were singing duet. 20, that
we two were Maying," they warbled
sweetly. ''Poh!" said the sarcastic
young lady. you've mixed up the
months. oh, that you two were
Marching would more correctly ex-
press the sentiment of the community. :
-Harper's Bazaar.
"A certain actress, says stammering
can be cured by gently, but firmly
squeezing the hand between words
The name of the young man who cured
the lady is not given. The remed!
may effect a cure every time, but hear
affection may follow, if the patient i
! young and pretty-and that is NOR,
! dangerous than stammering. Norris
: town Herald.
Harry (horrifed at seeing Kat
= putting at cigarette)-.'MercyI D
J you smoke, Kate?'' Kate-sNot be
cause enjoy it, Harry. / want to I'll
the rooms with smoke so that should
burglar break in, he'll think there's
h man in the house," Harry-''Wel
you're only losing your time and sol
o ing your lips. A man never smoke
Is cigarettes no man that
l. burglar need be afraid Of. ''-Bosto
e Transcript.