Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-07-26
PiTII AND POINT.

a "bittcr pill'' 10 Swallow-Quiniuc.
Put up for bliud-A window slut
ter.
Everybody puts their fingers in 1.-THE
glove.
A rather stiff purchasc-A box OF
starch.
Put on lois OF uirs''-NIusical box
manufacturers
Where peace and rest are found-In
Wehstcr's unabridged.
An open Observation-Disclosures the cork.
screw Washington critic.
Tic excise officers should investigate
the kecly motor, for it's secret still
Nc'o lork; Mc,cs
Burglars often make Il successful haul
from the sheer force OF their entcr-prics
-Bahimore -lmeIicum.
Ii is the experience of all conductor,
that strange things come 10 pass on rail.
ways.-M,o orleans Piwyune.
Minister 'Will you take this man il
lie your lawfully welded husbanlg'.
Omaha Be!lc-''If you please. - OmaLo
World.
The chest protector of thc man who
carts the gold coin from the Custom
house 10 the ub-Treasury is revolver.
--Ncp Ior& Ne.cS.
a woman cannot throw stone as well
as Il man because she has TOO long a collar
bone. She can talk better than a man
bccausc-she knows how.-Nt,4Jay..
Post.
No curve pitcher for baseball team
can expect Il position in the postoliice.
Parties waitin" for their mail cxpcct :,
straight delivery. -Nc'g Oylcons Pio
yu"e.
'',Just see how those crows carry on,
said man, looking at the antics OF II
flock Of the birds. ''Yes," replied an
other, they are clrrion crows. pitts
bnrY Chroaicie.
a Journey to Venus would take fifty
years, travelling at sixty miles I'M hour.
We, ut least cannot spare time for the
trip We shall wait until the speed is
doublcd.--1Wany .iryas.
Mrs. Brown lin 10y shop)-"Would
you like one of those long whistles. dear?;
Little Johnny-"Naw. What's the usc
of giving me one when you'd lick me TO,
blowing it?'-Ne;o York .Sua.
odd You hear about the burglar who
was arrested this morning?" mo. What,
for2" ''For breaking into song" SIS tina,
sol" "Ycs. He ,so: through two bar,
when some one hit him with Il s:avc."
Tom-"Wc have TO work hard in thi,
world to get ahead" Dick-'I didn't
have 10 exert myself" Tom-..You're
pretty fortunate then" Dick-nNo; I
was born with Il head. = TanAxe BItae.
Judge (sevcrcly)-'T should think
you'd be ashamed of yourself, Macna.
mara, to be in the courtroom so often. =,
hlacEamara (coolIy)-'' Bedad! I'm not
here any oliener than yer amer is. -
LowM Citizen.
p Mrs. Eeway--"Dear me, Tin getting
so stout. Do you think could manage
II tricycle., Charleyl" Mr. Herwav (mar-
ried three years. Manage Il tricycle., INV
love? You can manage anything. -
Dr0d'e's Maga=ine.
"lsn't it queer how habits contracted
in early life will cling to man?" Every
queer. remember when you were n
paIper years ago, ana now that you are /.
real estate agent you are still shaving pco-
pie. "-NeJraska State Journal.
The Paris authorities are trying to sup
press the fact that 1900 performers are to
unite in single military band at this
years Paris Exposition. The secret has
leaked out, however, and it is feared the
attendance will be diminished one half in
consequcncc.--Nc,o York Meas.
THE SILVER LINING.
My tailor will trust me no longer
Each creditors dunning me stronger
And Pm out of employment to boot
But there is no need of repining,
AS my cloud has silver lining,
For still have my Inst summers suit.
- -Ner YORK. JoNfnal.