Wichita eagle., 1889-09-03
THE OLD PURSER'S EARN.
THE COOK FROM TERRY HITS WHO.
WOULDN'T MAKE PIES, BUT DID.

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OF all the rum shippers. Fever came across
in all nay sea days-and that's eEare conpli-
ment, too. do YOU mindECa3n Selvidge just
was. He just was Caleb ], he used 10 sign
himself, but the boys weren't gosng to stand
that, yonsknow; some Of I'm prisd out from
down east somewhere that his father'd had
him christeued Ca Ira, or Cay Ds, as he pro
nounced it, after some song in that rubhishy
old French revolution. you know; don't,
and don't want you TO tell me So it was no
good his writing himself Caleb I; Cay Try it
was, and Caph Try bis sea name always,
among the boys. 4 good one, too, Capn Iy
was, as our men mostly were, but the queer
est Dick that ever crossed quarter deck. And
yon take It from me, my son, that the quar-
ter deck is just the home and habitation Of
the queer Dick at his queerest. Oh, I could
go On by the hour about the old man, but
hold on TIL tell You how be tanned our big
prize fighting pastry cook from Terre Haute,
1nd--dou't laugh, sir; pledge you my word
he came from there, and silt water 81 drop
at wholesale.
LITTLE, But LION HEARTED.
Caph Try wasn't any bigger than cock
sparrow, as the Doughhoy of the Naybosh
used to howl out whenever he was drunk.
But, Crisobal Colonl Il ever you saw a
cock sparrow with the soul of lion tucked
inside, and a sea hon at that, do you mind,
old Cay Try was that very bird. Somehow
Mr.. Terry Hut took regular scanner against
the little capn. Wen, If the devil sends
cooks, whoever sends sea cooks, I don't know,
unless it's the devils sister, and as for ships
pastry cooks, there's nothing up to them but
the dsvl'Smother-in. and Terry Hut he
just laid over any thing you ever saw as far
forth as pure pie baking cussedness went
Cap'n Try had the quesrest internal ar
rangementto be called an appetite you ever
came across in your born days. ''Steward,"
he used to say, passing his hand over his eyes,
SO fashion. and then back over the flaming
bird o. paradise hook he wore for sort of
finish like, Steward, I don't feel very well
today. Think I'D better diet a bit Just let
me taste some mock turtle soup, bit of nice
delicate correi beef with plenty Of cabbage
q sardine salad, fairish help of fig pudding,
q cup of Japanese tea made good and strong,
so you can see the thing, and-and q bottle
of cider Oh, and, steward, here, set nice
fresh pumpkin pie In the chart room to-
night, will yosl, Just in case I should feel
hungry toward morning"
fog, fog, fog clear up from Cape San Lucas,
the old man-never left the deck in thick
weather, sir-had one CT these delicate pump
kin pie appetftes come over him, and what
notion should the DEVILS own mother-in-
laws private secretary from Terry Hut take
into that nine cornered head of his but that
if that the old man got 80 much as a smell OF
the crust of the first solitary pumpkin pie
l,o'1 10. sb0y
smarter than the Doughboy of the Waybosh.
Well, maybe he dsdn't
But hold on. First night, off Cape San
Lazaro: "Cap'ns compliments, where is hi,
pumpkin pief' every sorry; order never
came TO me-" Second night, passing Cerros
Island, cap'n's compliments again. again nc
pie, profuse regrets, passengers ate 'em ali
up. Third and last night Of this attractive
comedy, east end Of Anacapa abeam, cap'ns
compliments once more, pastry cook sorrier
than ever, pumpkin all gone, everything Of
the pie kind gone but the half Of stale CO
coanut. How would that dof
SEVENTEEN HUNDRED FTEs.
It's my belief, sir, that that last cocoanut
broke the camel's back. Anyhow, now il
was call the steward Turned in, sir. Cap'ns
compliments, please to turn out again
Steward, my compliments to that pastry
cook OF yours and tell him to turn out anG
go to making pies and keep on making pies
till | tell him TO stop" Four bells-2 a. NJ
sleepy steward mounts bridge in tousled hair
and stocking feet Pantry quite cleared,
sir; may he knock of now?" when [ order
you turn opt the storekeeper and break out
more pie fruits from the store room" Sever
beIls-3:S0 a. m.-s'Pie fruits all gone, sir
''Go ahead on the mince then" Three bells
$50 a. ~, and fog lifting little mince al
gone now; what nextl" go ahead on the
empty crusts TIL / tell him TO stop" Six
beils-7 a. H., SIN coming up and captain
coming down--"Very sorry, sir, pastry room
all chock ablock with pies sir, and over
flowed into the galley and pantry to that ex-
tent that it's all the cooks and walters can dc
not to step on EN-"
VERY good then fetch the pastry cook
to me-"
Pastry cook alone with cap'n in chartroom
''And now, Mr. Pastry-cook, what in your
opinion is the probability of the captain Of
this ship being able to have a slice of pie
when he orders itg'
Well, sir, it was Just pitifu1 to see thatpoor
pastry cooks face break all up bike January
thaw and two big hines of tears organize
themselves on his pasty cheeks. he just
heaved one great sob and made ont TO sayi
ooh, cap'n, my pore sperrit Is just broke all
to nothin'. Have mercy ON me this time, sir,
and won't never do so no more, not neverr
III hush If Can't Try didn't have TO blow
bis nose with that red bandarina when h:
told me the story And wild horses wouldnt 1
drag those two men apart after that And
hold on a minute. the Storage just lived on
pies, mince and lemon and cranberry and
goodness Knows what all, tis last two days
Just tickled 10 death. Doctor growied bus
nobody minded him. And every one Of thosc
seventeen hundred and thirty nine assorted
pies had pricked on the top crust, with lifts
machine pardoned out burglar in the steer
age got up and Passed in 70 Terry Hut, these
narrowing words, PITY the poor pastry
cook
At last the Era lay TO of the bar waiting
for daylight Up comes shirt-sieeve~pants-
in-your-boots committee, With $50 IN q clean
sock and lot Of resolutions IN q sticking
plaster box, To buy the capn gold chro-
noneter watch and chain With one OF those
tasty quartz nuggets dangling from n for a
seal. And yol can believe il or not Just as
you like, but the old man just up and saws,
''Sorry, gentlemen companys rules, give /.
TO the pastry COOK, he's your bauefac1o- -
So they did, and 70 his dying day the fir
thing thesDousbbcy OF the Waybosh used to
do when be came sooar again was TO save up
and take eAa. watch and cnsin our If pawn.
But you dsreu't say ''punkln PIE 70 hIni
And Capn Try didn't have to.-Ne~ York
Tribune.