Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1889-09-16
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

The greatest of all poetry is girls first
love letter.
It's odd how much food horse can 90
without and still be no faster.
People who call each other liars often
get hurt for telling the truth.
The horse always strikes good gate
when he passes the toll-taker.
The son who goes to work in mill re-
presents the -four of the family.
Considering how little the bell knows, it
is wonderful how much it has tolled.
A man who accuses himself of being
thoughtless frequently proves it by his
conversation.
The accumulation of driftwood at wharf
suggested current jam to an imaginative
travelling man.
Mosquitoes feet amt much to climb
But they have wings with which to soar.
And so they get there every time
And make the suffering sleeper roar
A darby whose beast of burden kicked
with his front feet, congratulated himself
| on having mule that worked both ways.
Very often the only difference between
something unfortunate and something
funny lies in whether it happens to you or
somebody else.
He" What did your patrr say when
you told him we were engaged ?' She
Oh, you must not ask me to repeat such
language ~-L!te.
A druggist says that starting fiy-paper
is queer. 1t may be queer, "but it is not
so blame expensive as starting newspaper,
though man is liable to get stuck on
both.-NoriStoUn Herald.
Mrs. McPhe-" Phat's dthe matther
wild yure man the day, Mrs. O'Hay ?" Mrs.
OHay-" He hid dthe dhrill fur two
cross-eyed Oitalians yesterday, an dthe
doctur SEE Its nervous preparation he has,
Puck.
Guest (who has been waiting impatient
ly for his pastry ID ordered that tapioca
pudding at least fifteen minutes ago"
Waiter-"Yes sah Takes bout two hours
for tapioca to soak. It'll be along by am
by. 'Ere's one O the af7noon papers, sab. !"
Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Bleecker-"Here's an account Of a
man who got shot while assaulting a
Judge out in California" Mrs. Blocker
Dear met What did they do then ?"
Mr.. Bleecker-"Arrested the Judge p'-
Puck
Exasperated lady Gin railroad train
81 don't see why car windows are made so
tight that no woman can raise them"
Philanthropic brakeman Reluctantly rails
ing it'll spose it's to keep the gents be-
hind from catchin' cold, mum l'-Puck.
Johnny-"Say, ma, there goes pa off
fishin' again, stead of goin' to work" Ma
Tell your grandfather to go after him."
Johnny "Grandpas playin' bail down on
the flats" Maxwell, this is pretty
state of things. If l catch any more of
that 'lixir of youth in this house rll put it
in the stove"
Mistress-"Where are the nails, John p"
John-I didn't know what kind you
wanted, ma'am" Mistress-"What kinds
did the dealer have?" -"Six-pen-
ny, eight-penny and ten-penny, ma FAN. !"
Mistress-"You should have brought the
latter, John. You know we always get
the best. Judge.
Mrs. Briske-"J Johnny, did the doctor
call while | was out?" Little Johnny
stopping his play)-"Yes'm; he felt nv
pulse an looked at my tongue, and shook
his head and said it was very serious
case, and he left this prescription and said
he'd call again before night" Mrs.
Briske-"Gracious me! 1t wasn't YOU
sent him to see; it was the baby. "-Ne,g
York Weekly.