davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
FUNNY MEMS FASC1Es.

Cholly-Whieh is wight, IT don't think"
or az think not?''
Miss Flypps-In your case eithsr.-Tsrrs HGuts
Express.
We read of Kentucky man who was
| paralyzed by q mosquito bite. 1t is . wonder
that the bite didn't paralyze the mosquito.
SVtings.
A Fall in Live Stock.-Gaggs (as Stub
toes falls full length on entering the dining rOOm)
lis he one Of our regular boarders?
waggs-Oh. no: he merely dropped In for din
ner.-Dstr0it free Press.
Only Words.-''Pa, what's the difference
tween cutter and litter the signs tell aboutG''
''Same thing my son. My barber's such
beastly cutter that he's filter to adorn slaughter
house. ''-Detrott Free Press.
Truth for Once.-Giles-Tm glad I let
that fellow have the small loan. He seemed over
whelmed with gratitude, and said he could never
repay me.
Merritt--That was strange. He told you the
truth. --Hurpsr's Bazar.
When They Lick Them.-BIiss Langham
--You Americans use the name Of George wash
ington very frequently, do you not?
Mr.. De Yank-Yes, indeed. Why. 'tGeorge
Washington" has been on every one's tongue
since postage stamps were iuvented.--EssO York
SUM
Excited Messenger-Mr. wiseman, your
house has just been destroyed by fire.
Venerable Author Was nothing saved?
!, Messenger-very little. All your early books
and manuscripts were burned.
Venerable Author = Thank heaven - Chicago
Tribune.
Visitor-You don't mean to say that you
do sewing sundaysS How can you do such .
wicked thing?
Lady of the HOuse-oi but, ysu know, always
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

The proposition to sell the public
school building of the First ward, because
enough pupils do not attend it to make it
worth while to keep it open, would arouse
anew the sectarian feeling about the re-
ligious control OF the schools. 1t will be
much better for all parties to avoid the re-
vival of such an issue. As it can be done
in this case by letting the people of the
First ward manage their schools upon nom
sectarian basis, the hope is not unreasonable
that such bitter and proftless conflict will
not be provoked.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
Are We CiyilZede

Erasmus Wilson, the genial journalist whom
everybody has for some years known as the
"Quia Observer" is about to become still
more amous. He is going to lecture. As a
starter, his subject will be the one embraced
in thecaption of this announcement Those
who lave read some of his richest and
rarestl efforts in sticking to just such
suggestive texts as this, may imagine they
know Just what sort of a treat it will be to hear
him ltcture; but they don't-unless they have
heard this droll seven-foot orator when, at his
best, he just looks and speaks with sufficient
delibefate dignity to give the lie to pair of
kindly eyes that sparkle with all the luster of
a wit that is both original, contagious and at
times explosive. 'Ras Wilson, as a lecturer.
surely should draw well for the Layton Bureau.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
BEN'S WELCOME HOME.
Congressman Bufterworfh rendered a

Congressman Butterworfh rendered a
Hearty Reception Mt Washington.
WASHINGTON, September 30.-About $500
people assembled at "The Rink in this city
this evening and gave Congressman Ben But.
terworth an enthusiastic greeting on his return
from his trip to Europe. The building was
ana cheered when Major Butterworth
appeared upon the stand, escorted by
reception committee Of we'll known citizens
of Ohio. resident in Washington, and by band
of music and a considerable procession of cit
izans. He was welcomed back to Washington
by Colonel A. S. Worthington. formerly Dis
trict Attorney and responded in long speech
thanking the people of Washington and re-
viewing his European experiences.
He says that he had often spoken on the
tariff question and had pictured graphically
in Germany. What he had to say now would
jar with his stump utterances. He was more
of a protectionlst than ever but he wanted to
say, while he had seen plenty of abridged op-
portunity, he had seen neither squalor
nor rags in Germany The people were
too industrious for that. There were
neither weeds nor loafers in Germany. A great
outburst of applause greeted the speaker when
he made an allusion to the Worlds Fair project
by stating that Berlin was the handsomest cap.
ital that he had seen abroad, but that it was
not more beautiful than our own capital as the
Berliners would see when they came over here
in 1892
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
to offer that organization the freedom of the
city upon all occasions, now and forever.

THE return of the United States steamer
Dolphin after cruise around the world,
of year and three-quarters, affords prac-
tical illustration of the fact that the work
Of re-establishing the navy has not been
wholly wasted. The Dolphin is one of the
new vessels which was severely criticised,
and probably she is not in the irstclass Of
cruisers. Yet in her voyage of 5000 miles
with almost constant steaming she was
delayed only two hours by a slight accident
to her machinery. The much berated
Dolphin may not be very fast vessel but
she is evidently a serviceable one.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
Harris, TheateF.

The Wilbur Opera Company began yesterday
q two weeks engagement at this house, playing
twice 10 very large audiences, despite mud and
irizzhg rain. princess OF Trebizonde" was
the opening bill, and it was given as Susie Kir-
win and her support so often have given it in
this city, All the old favorites are with the
company this season, Kohule, Ire Dewick, Con-
ley, Mares and the rest The chorus is CON-
posed of young, bright-faced and prettily-
formed young girls and young men, with voices
which they know how to use to advantage. The
costumes are new. bright and pretty, and sue
cessful financial engagement is assured. The
operette to be given this afternoon and evening
is "Chimes of Normandy tomorrow, ''The
Grand Duchess"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
A GREEN GRAvG IN IRELAND.

There's green grave in ireland,
Where my heart lies buried deep;
Where Mary. my fond sweetheart
Rests in her dreamIess sleep;
We loved when both our hearts were young,
And hope throbbed in each breast;
But nevermore has hope been mine
Since Mary sank to restl
I've lived through many weary years.
Since on that summer morn
Sweet Mary gave her farewell Kiss
And left me all forlorn;
Ihear her sweet voice calling me,
Ihave not long to stay;
Bright hope will once again be mine
When death bids me awayl
Theresa green grave in Ireland,
Where my heart lies buried deep;
oh, lay me there beside my love
In my last, dreamless sleepl
Jennie n T. Dotoe, IN The Century.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
CONFUSED HORRIBLY.

General Edward Burd Grubb seems to be
embarrassed by more things than his name
He cannot for the life of him determine
whether be is citizen OF New Jersey or
Pennsylvania. When he was elected Cap
tain of the First troop of Philadelphia
cavalry few years ago he thought be was a
Pennsylvania, and though some people
did not agree with him, his opinion was ac-
cepted by the State authorities. and be re-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
WENT OFF WITH A BANG.
An Old Army Musket Explodes of Its Own
Accord In Libby Prison.

CHICAGO, September SQ-A most peculiar
accident ACQUIRED yesterday afternoon In the
Libby prison. Many were frightened and some
confusion resulted G. II. Rutter, Of New Al
bany, Ind. and George Michaels, who saw the
affair. tell the following story:
Resting against one of the pillars were .
number Of old war muskets. No one was
nearer than five feet to them. Suddenly one Of
the muskets was discharged, the contents tear.
ing a hole in the ceiling above. The report was
terrific and several people were greatly excited
over its suddenness."
How the old musket was exploded no one can
explain. 1t had done service during the late
war. and some soldier had loaded It in readi-
ness to fire. 1t was placed among the other
relics, apparently without being oyerhauled.
The charge must have been in the rifle at least
26 years.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

IT is pleasant to note that Councils took
another step toward the realization of the
Carnegie Library for Pittsburg, by passing
resolution creating committee to confer
with Mr.. Carnegie. After ten years of
hesitation, we are allowed to hope that
something in the way Of actual progress
will be made toward securing this great pub
lie benefit
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

The disposition of the New York news
papers to ignore the 500, 900 subscription of
Joseph Pulitzer to the Worlds Fair, is an
example of that petty jealousy, which, if
permitted to prevail, makes the community
where it exists incapable of great and sue
cessful public undertakings.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

THE distribution of the minor plums of
the United States internal revenue off ce, in
this district, is completed, as will be seen
by the list given elsewhere. The list will
carry to the hearts of the appointees and
their friends the profound conviction that
the administration is glittering success;
while the disappointed may console them
selves with their private belief that the
fruit is sour
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

THE scheme of State Senator Walker, of
Mississippi. for removing the race question
from politics by disqualifying the negroes
from holding Office, leaves the Southern fear
of negro domination" in the guise of
actual dread lest if the colored people have
a chance at the offices, there will not be
enough to 60 around among the white people.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

AN American in Constantinople writes to
the Mayor of New York that he is trying to
work up boom for the New York Worlds
Fair among the Turks. This the Sun ap-
plauds as good idea, probably from per-
sonal perception of the fact that it is good
deal easier to work up such boom among
the Mussulmans than it is among the mil
lionaires of New York.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
Harry Williams, Academy.

Another good vaudeville programme isspread
before the patrons of this theater this week.
Kennedy's "Bright Lights" contain some ex-
cellent material. There are the Vidocqs Sheri-
dan and Flynn, Selyne and Lingard. Howe and
DOYLE the Heely brothers, Latta and Lynch,
De Lauer ard Debrimont, Leopold and keat-
ing. Herr Jules Keller, and Monsieur Emile
Chevriel, the famous wizard of the violin.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

The Liverpool cotton corner has col
lapsed. Various speculators have been
squeezed, but the ability to permanently
burden legitimate business with exorbitant
prices has been found wanting. For success
in that line the Liverpool cornerers must
take lessons of our big oil, coal and other
trusts
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

The list of failures for the past nine
months does not include the host of Worlds
Fair projects. If those enterprises are in
cluded in the statistics, the total of their
unfulflled promises to pay will be some
thing alarming
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
THE BOILERS WERE UNSAFE.
Why Fred Douglass Was Not Taken to
Hayti on the Ossipee.

Hnyff on the Uss1pee.
WASHINGTON, September 3O-The official
correspondence concerning the detail of the
United States steamship Ossipee to take Minis
ter Douglass to Hayti is made public this even
ing. 1t shows in the first place that Com
mander Kellogg was relieved from duty on the
Ossipee before it was known that that vessel
would be detailed for the service named.
Lieutenant Commander Evans insisted that he
could make the trip on the Ossipee, although
his chief engineer reported thar the boilers
were in an unsafe condition.
Secretary Tracy appointed board to make
a thorough examination of the ship, and upon
a report that it would take $4,000 and lO6 days
work to make the ship seaworthy. decided to
revoke the order for her sailing, and the Cap
his vessel in readiness to convey Minister
Douglass to Hayti.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
DEATHS OF A DAY.
Charles 3, CudIipp.

WASHINGTON, September So.-Charles s. Cud-
lipp, the well-known photographer died yester-
day at his rooms in the st. James Hotel, from the
effects of a succession of epieptic fits. Mr.. Cud-
lipp was Al wears of age, and had resided IN WASH
ington all his life. He started in the photograph
ing business about Is years ago, and was one of
the most pTominent photograpners In the city.
administrations.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

A CORN crop, estimated at. 1880, 900, 900
bushels this year, does not quite beat the
record, but it will furnish an immense sur
plus of bacon and corn bread to feed the
hungry people of the world.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

WHEN Sugar Trust certificates drop
forty points in three months, at the mere
prospect of competition, investors may
come to the same conclusion as consumers,
that trusts are not to be trusted.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

THE four-months-old asseverations of our
friends, the coke operators, that they could
never pay the advanced wages, are recalled
to mind by the fact that the last firm to sign
the scale was taken into the fold yesterday.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
IndorsinK ChIcaro,. CIaim..

ST. PAUL, September SO.-By an eyerwhelm-
ing majority the Chamber of Commerce of this
city this morning announced an emphatic in
dorsement of the claims of Chicago for the
Worlds Exposition of 1892.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

The gold medal awarded to Pittsburg's
public school exhibit at Paris proves that
some of the features of the United States
department there were not wholly unappre-
ciated,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

The eloquent silence of the Old Roman,
Allen G. Thurman, in the Ohio Democratic
canvass, is the most significant indication
of the way in which the creditable element
of the Ohio Democracy regards the bsrrel
domination of their State organization.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
A CELEBRATED TEST CASE,
A RAILWAY Company's Agent Prosecuted
Under the Long, Haul Clause.

Under the Long, Haul Clause.
ST. LOUIS, September 30.--In the United
States District Court, at Hannibal No., to-day,
Judge Thayer overruled motion for new
trial in the case of the United States against
George K. Tozer, agent of the Missouri Pacific
Railway Company, for violation of the inter-
State commerce law, in accepting freight at
Meeting line, sending it to Harper, Kan, for a
lower rate than he would transport freight
originating in Hannibal to the same point The
case will probably be appealed to the United
States Circuit Court, which is the final tribunal.
The case is being watched with great interest
by railroad companies and shippers of the
country, as it is the first like prosecution of a
railroad employe under the interstate COM
rnarca law.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

THE COOK BOOK AND THE CORSET.
Twas but paltry year ago
VIII en- cooking was in fashion;
Boston's Back Bay had blessed 1t, SO
Here twas parlor passion.
The hands were ringed that made the pies;
And worthy Of a ballad,
Were glances from the darlings' eyes
That fell on soup or salad.
Sweet voices sang the Kitchens praise
The mothers said: 1--WE owe
Tremendous debt for all our days
To clever Miss Parloa.''
And siNce that day we all have seen
At breakfast. supper, dinner,
Enough dire dishes served, ween,
To punish any sinner.
But fashions change-Let's thank our starsl
No longer in the kitchen
My lady's meddlinR finger mars
The handiwork of Gretchen.
The pots and pans are thrown aside;
And in fair Dora's bower
Another hobby horse they ride,
From morn till sunset hour.
The favorite's name is "Dress Reform
And who will not indorse 1t,
And bless the little tea-cup storm
That beats about the corsetP
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
THE LARGEST EVER KNOWN.
This Years Potato Crop Estimated at Over
233.OOO.OO Bushels.

CHICAso, September 3O.-The forthcoming
issue of the Farmers RevieW will report that
the potato crop of 1889 will probably exceed in
quantity that of any previous year in the
United States The acreage is less than last
year, but the conditions of growth have in
general been very favorable and there has been
an unusual absence of insect enemies
The total crop is estimated at 233 700 900
bushels, which exceeds last years crop by over
IL 000 600 bushels.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
Chhrlea 81. stnddnrd.

WASHINGTON, September 30 Mr.. Charles H.
Stoddard, well-known resident Of Reno, New.
who has been in Washington looking after large
Indian depredations clhims. died at the Provi.
served In the State and Territorial Legislatures
and had held Office under the State Government
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

The outbreak of verbal warfare in coun-
clls, yesterday, should impress on the minds
of city legislators the necessity of steering
clear of sectional issues.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

From the Chicago Tribune.l
Why doesn't the Gar of Russia, merely as an
experiment, abolish few of the evils of which
his discontented subjects complain, and see if
he would not be healthier. happier and safer7
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

If the Board of Steam Navigation can
give boost to the Pittsburg and Lake Erie
canal project that will raise it to the rank Of
living enterprises, Pittsburg will be ready
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
FIVE MILLIONS AT STAKE.


Through the Supreme Court.
ST. PAUL, September 30-An appeal has
been taken to the United States Supreme
Court in the case OF. Jesse P. Farley against ].
]. Hill. the Kittson estate. and the Manitoba
road, recently decided by Judge Brewer, Of the
United States Circuit Court. The sction, as Is
well known, involves some S., 0O0.0O0.
Mr.. Farley is determined to fight the case to
the end. The appeal was filed in the office OF
the United States Circuit Court Saturday after
noon.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
Only n slight Difference.

From the Detroit Journal
The difference between the words ''specula.
tor" and ''peculator' is a little crooked IS"
The difference between the things themselves
is a little crookedness
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

JOHN W. SANS tells the Bedford Gazette
that he served as sharpshooter before Peters
burg in April, 1856, and that he fred l5S shots.
73of which he saw take effect, one unhorsing
A. P. Hill. He says the statement sounds large,
but he declines to subtract single victim.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

An Imported Glassworker Detained'
NEW YORK, September S0-Andrew otter
son, Swede, who landed here to-day on tne
Servia, and who acknowledged he was gong 10
work for Everett & Lyons. glass manufacturers,
of indianapolis, was detained at Castle Iaruen
under the contract labor law.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
raIked Into a Fir By an Angry Man.
Len An 70 HI, Hou,ekeeper.

Thomas g. Rodwell died last June. His rela-
tives tried to bury him. but Mrs. Ellen F. Cab
ness, his colored housekeeper. got possession Of
his body tor burial by swearing that she was
his widow. The Rodwell family got another
shock when their dead relatives will was read.
In it he remembered his sisters and cousins
and aunts with only few dollars each. The
bulk of his property, TWO city houses and lots.
he had left to his colored housekeeper. The
Rodwells began suit on the ground of insanity
and undue influence. The case Is on hearing.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

A HANDY man IN Steubenville used his chill
dren's roller skates to move heavily laden re-
frigerator from the dining room to the out
kitchen, and not one breakdown happened.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
The Man to Edit II.

From the st. Paul Pioneer Press.I
Browning has S0poems ready to publish in a
new volume. He should turn his cdpy in to
the puzzle editor at once.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
Progress of the Uronin Case.

From the Detroit Free Press.l
Several hundred men called as jurors in the
Cronin case have been convicted of common
sense, while the box is not yet filled with imbe.
Giles. This is encouraging.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

HARRY RUPERT, barber of Huntingdon.
captured q sea-gull along the river there few
days ago. Birds Of that species are rarely seen.
in the interior of that county. The bird is now
in the hands Of a taxldermist in Philadelphia
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
There IL More Than One Kind of Minister
A Way TO Speed Guest-The Corset and

There IL More Than One Kind of Minister
Away 10 speed n Guest-The Corset and
the Cork Back.
A YOUNG woman who was a domestic in the
household of Mr.. Roland j. Hemmick until
that gentleman was given the consulate at
Geneva, Switzerland. came to her present en-
ployer the other day in great perplexity.
II don't understand how Mr.. Hemmick can
be minister, as they say he's to be-" she said
'Why shouldn't he be?"
"Its against the rules of the church. Mr..
Hemmick's Catholic and always thought
Catholics as were married weren't allowed to
preach. So how Mr.. Hemmick can be a min.
lister l can't tell"
Nor was she entirely satisfied when it was ex-
planned to her that Mr.. Hemmick's ministra-
tions were to be diplomatic and not religious.
81
PERHAPS you have known what it is to have
a visitor prolong his or her sojourn with you
beyond reasonable limit outlast their wei.
come that is. The next time this happens the
following recipe may be of service to you:
Some weeks or months rather ago certain
young lady who dwells in another State was in
vited to stay with Pittsburg family. The
length of the visit was not prescribed. The young
lady came and stayed all June; then all July,
and when August came she showed no signs Of
moving. She was med1um-welgnt average
looking, fairly agreeable young person, and
during June her hosts enjoyed her society.
In July they began to grow weary of her, and
the verge of August brought them to the verge
of a genuine dislike for the guest. Still they
were too well-bred TO show their feelings, and
if there had not been a mischievous boy of IA il
the family have no doubt the girl would be
still emulating the example of the Old Man of
the Sea. 1t was this boy who conceived a plaLi
to start the tarrer homeward. He studied |.
society journal for the correct style and thel
wrote to paper which makes speciality q
such things the following paragraph: Mis-
--, VIII . has been staying with -
for the last three months, has returned to hg
home in --'
The author of this society note took care hs
victim should see it She took the hint ard
departed.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

A TITusvILLE woman went to the cupboard
the other day, got the sugar bowl, discovered
live mouse in 1t and tainted dead away.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

COMPLAINTS of light weight in connection
with pound sausage are heard in West Chester.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-01

"PLEAs com upe-dad Is away this eve, was
the message found on . postal card picked up
on street in Bradford. It was signed sadie"
and addressed to prominent young man.