The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1889-01-12
almos. wish that the old, man hadn't

Y died."
Timothy E. TarsDey ID democratic
ongressman knocked out at the late
lection. He represented = salt and
lumber dis.ric, in Michigan. Both
lrt5cles were scheduled on the free list
n the Mills bill. When asked the
;ause Of his defeat Timothy replied 4 :
1T was ,hs tariff. My constituents
applied Bill 'MnrrisoB's. principles to
me. Four years ago was elected by
1900 majority. I came down here and
voted for the Morrison IL, horizontal
tariff bill and went back,
home, They applied the horizontal
reduction system to- M. Two, years
ago they returned me with 800 ma
jority. I came down here and voted
for the Mills bill. This year my con-
stituents landed the on the free iiss."-a
lif Robert J. Vance .is n planet in the
firmamenta of congressional hum0rsl
he brings from New Britain. Con-, g !
fund OF good election stories, The best
! is an account Ola conversation which
ne says he overheard between two1
Irishalsp. They were Disgusting the
meritstof thu, Mills bill :'i.g 76l ssioiie1et
/ ssPat,'' said one ofst6esn, 1"sure, ~
cau't oouderstb band fwhat they mare
10y raw inaterisI so can't.2sI gs,lso .ls.5
tHlssSnre, that's aisy enoughp JENNY,
so ilis,' Pat replied. s'Do you tnoind
the spuds rbeyant o.! pointing 10 n baa-
dket sof potatoes near the door nf
j -grocery. AZ -, f,fs.s., -
III 81 do, then," was tue answer.
4 hs.When sou dig them from the
grouud, sure hey re, raw, material;
but WhHn you boil thin wild their
SEX ins on, sure they're manufactured
articles" - $50. 80, q
;! The nnsw or upset Jimmy. lie puff
ed his pipe 10 silence for q full minute.
asure, then. fwhat IL It the Mills bit
does be staxiu'??'' he, asked. ,,..- 8 =.
at does be tsxin' coal aud all Of her
luxuriss 81 life,'' Pat responded, "bnt
, sure l think it taxes the oondersihaDd-
ling the most, so it does."te e.': "a nit
Ashbel p. Each is another Of the
planets. He returned from New York
city with a laughab!e election story at
the expense of Barney Martin, a Tam.
!. many lieutenant. Barney organized O
4 negro democratic club in his assembly
), district. IT WAS to parade when the
president VISITED the city. When the
dark les were in line shDulIerfDg their
4 torches, one of them WAS hit in the
head with a brickbst thrown by a gem
nine black republican who stood upon
the sidewalk. The wounded negro
was Infatuated, Rushing up TO Bar
ney, ha said: mi. Martin, 1'se q real
!, democrat now, aah-'dead i ia, sab.
Use for Cleveland now on the dead
lebel." ,4.,.,-l..-. ., Is, .-. -. .a .,.,...'.
Annthersgood story is told by con,
, gresham from New Jersey. That
srea, orator, DAME, Doushersy, had
: been speaking in Well-kuown city
> not twenty miles from New York.
, Dnugherty is very theatrical in man
q ner aud passionateIy eloquent. a To-
comotiv engineer was asked what he
! thought OF the Philadelphian' speech.
> "Not much was the reply. s-pHIf he
!, had been fre!ghted with fewer flowers
and far more facts, he might have done
/ thesdemocratic patty some goOd.'' 80
Mr.. Mem lin, Of Tennessee, also re-
hates a story worth writing. In an
i, interior town at the late election a re-
publican orator was descanting ou the
beauties Of protection. He instanced
the improvements Of the country under
republican rule, and predicted that II
the same party held the reins of gov
ernment twenty years more the poor
man of to-day might live in the lap Of
luxury F"T1HiF .sE. sew INA .-ifs .a
edo yon mind that now % said an
Irishman to his companion. ii - .s-
"Sure, do" was the reply. "Wbs,'s
the use Of living in, the lap Of luxury
after you're dead"' a7r.t5 t,,s .,.,,,..,
H. Another bright planet is the Hon.
Joseph q. Cannon, of Illinois, a prom
inent candidate for speaker of the ffty-
first congress. Referring 10 a hatteriDg
newspaper article the other day, he
said 81 don'i get much Of 1t. I can't
tell you how much appreciate IL. 1t
is Kindness from an unexpected quar-
ter. feel like Abe Lincoln when he
said that when he was a boy 1t seemed
to him that he loved gingerbread more
and got less of it than any boy in
town. "ast-r. '..f isr. e.rr "a u rt
James Buchanan, of New Jersey, Is
: somewhat larger than an asteriod. He
has a keen appreciation Of Wit, aud
occasionally tells a prime story. TIE
; other day he got to talking about the
scorching ihe republican party in Vir-
ginia received at the late election.
"Thcir els,ion before election" said
he, rand their depression after it, re-
minds me Of the story of the bow-leR-
gsd man. His legs were so crooked
that they looked like II o., He was ex-
tremeiy sensitive over tue defect. Oue
day II fr;end asked hin what made
U