St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-12-30


two-column advertisement of The White
Elephant drug store, which Is TO be
found on our third page. This adver-
tisement was not given The Kicker be-
cause we had ascertalned that Mr.. Drew.
the druggist, was an abscOnder from
New Jersey, and was here living under
a false name and with woman not his
wife, but because he is believer in
printers ink and has faith that The
Kicker will increase his already large
and profitable retail trade.
Happens That Way-On Friday after
noon we approached Henry Smith, of
the dry goods firm of Smith Bros, and
suggested that he advertise his business
in The Kicker. He c0urteOusly replied
that he would see us in the huckleberry
cOuntry-wherever that iS-befOre he
would do business with us. One word
brought OH another, and the result was
that he knocked us down, picked up our
haif-unconsciOuS body and mopped it
around until he began to sweat his
collar. and we were then flung out of
the door into the sand.
We can't and don't expect to lick
everybody we bump up against in this
country. We have chawed up seven for
every time we have been done up, and
everybody says that is record to boast
of. AS for Henry Smith, while we owe
him no grudge, we deem it our duty to
find out where he is wanted by the
police, and We'll bet barrel OF sugar
he jumps this town inside of two
weeks.
Let Him Howl.-Our bow-backed, lop-
shouldered, knee-Sprung, green-eyed
(tn 9
dead with envy because we were the
leading feature at Mrs. O'Hara's party
the other evening, while he received
the COLI cut. While we were receiving
a hundred compliments OH our late edi-
tOrial in regard to cOlOniZing Iceland
with American Indians, he was sitting
among his paste-potS with cold glare
I'm his eyes. While we were leading the
first Quadrille he was kicking cock
reaches in the semi-darkness, and while
we were decIaiming ''Sheridan's Ride"
in our own inimitable style the fire of
envy was consuming his small, cheap
soul, which was doubtless purchased at
some secondhand sale in the East.
Let him howl, however. We can af-
ford to pass him by with good nature.
We are as far above the old vulture as
Pixies Peak is above the deepest spot
Ii the sea.
xplanatory-Another explanations
due our readers that still another
brea Oh of promise suit has been brought
against us, making the seventeenth in
two years. This time 1t. is the Widow
Cumbers who brings subj and she lays
her damage at $4,000. Society here
is peculiar. Lone women seek this To-
caity to catch husband ANY unmar-
ried man is fair game, and ordinary
courtesy is construed to mean love and
a proposal. Take the last case for in
stance. Mrs. Cumbers invited for a
dinner. She said it was In acknowl-
edgement of the power of the place.
We put on a clean shirt and combed our
hair. end she took it to mean we were
gone on her. We spoke kindly of the
way she boiled cOrned beef, and she
argued that we loved her. We praised
her prune pie, and she replied that she
could be ready in three weeks.
The sixteen other suits have all been
decided i'm our favor, and of course this
one will be. 1t is plan to capture us
or our cash, but we don't surrender.
Even when we have had offers to settle
a $4,000 suit for 81 and calico dress
we have sternly held to our course and
10 I the case 90 TO trial