The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20
(roB EcoNTlNuED.)
Momentous Question Settled.

MOm0nIOuS QO0StlOn S0tIl0O.
At the Snag Hollow debating soci-
ETY. the question was: "What is the
difference between country air and
city air." Those who took the pc.
sition that there is a difference could
not show in what it consisted except
country air was purer because it held
more ozone; but as they did not have
the remotest idea what ozone was,
and rs the negative party said that
Just rs many people died in the coun-
try as in the city in proportion to
numbers, the affirmative were well
nigh overcome in the struggle, and
were on the point OF giving up when
u tramp printer arose and said:
s.There is a difference. I've been in
both places, and l know what l am
talking about. l think the secret
lies in the polarity of atoms. Outin
the country, when the mir is calm, the
air atoms are round and yielding like
little blndders, and you take them in
smoothly, fresh from the silence.
But when the wind blows strong over
the roaring waves of the lake you
feel the difference ut once, just as
though you had taken n bracer that
wasn't overdistilled. But the atoms
amt broken up as bad rs they arein
the city. Sharp sounds break the
polarity of the atoms into three-cor-
nered molecules, and when they come
together again in the lungs Of n city
man they make him hump. There is
nothing dreamy about u city man.
The rattle of vehicles upon the pave
ment and the tramp OBJECT upon side
walks chops up the air so fine that it
bites his lungs. City dir is always
broken by sound waves. and the air
and the waves get into your lungs,
drive the blood to your toes and the
roots of your hair, and Instead of
walking like u christian you trot like
q dog.
"While do not think there is much
difference i'm health, l think the city
people draw immortality in with their
breath, [Applause.] City people are
more immoral than country people,
[Deatening applause,] When you go
on the board of trade and breathe in
the atoms of air which are broken by
the cries OF bulls and bears and then
go away, you all know that you are
prepared to bet with the first three
card monte man you happen to
meet, [Cries of Yes! yes!'] The
reason Is that you take the tempta-
tion in with the crystalized dir emit
ted from the lungs of hoard of trade
men. A voice: That's jist it,
When you get to the city the footing
OF whistles and the ringing of bells
and the running of street cars make
you feel like Vanderbilt and you are
ready to cash a freight bill ut sight.
Hence the immortality Of cities,
"When boy runs around q cor
ner and takes n gasp of Lawyer
Bonds breath, if you watch that boy
you will find him some time after
studying law at Ann Arbor. And if
he happens to take n guip of a prize
fighters breath, he'll have the box
ing gloves OH the next night. Hat
the age of IL any boy listens to the
speeches of an alderman, he will
never want to breathe any other
kind of crystalized atmosphere, and
will always want to be where there is
the most of it-and that is in the
Jackson state prison or the Michigan
legislasure. That's the reason why
there is difference between city mir
and country air."
Unanimous verdict for the affirm.
alive.