The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1889-08-01
Rather HeaYy Joking.

President Cleveland was fond of 9 joke
80 much 80 that be found himself com
PEELED from time to time 10 repress hii
disposition in this regard. One of the
best incidents in this line occurred when
Congressman Lawler brought forward fol
introduction, simply to pay respects, one
of his constituents, an odd character from
Chicago, ex-Aldern1an Pat Sands, who
accumulated a large fortune in the
plumbing line and: loaning money al
Shylock rates of interest. The ex-alder.
man loved his hoard like miser, and
appreciating the situation, Mr. Lawlel
called the President side, saying: 81
want you to have little fun with my
friend here. He is Democrat and very
wealthy man, but holds on to it strongly.
Just ask him to lend you 100000 and
observe the consequences" Mr.. CleVe.
land at once caught on" and when Mr.
Lawler presented Mr. Sands in glowing
rhetoric as one of the most enterprisiDg
and patriotic Sons Of Chicago, the Presi.
dent grasped his hand warmly. After the
usual compliments had passed the Presi:
dent drew the ex-alderman aside and
said: "Alderman, lam delighted to NEE,
you, and I want you to do me great
favor p
IA favor is it ?" innocently replied Mr.
San1s. "I'll be greatly honored, Mr..
President, if you'll only name it, and Pat
Sands is your man.
"Well," continued the President, in
the most confidential manner, II can't
tell my private business to everybody
but as you are good democrat, and a
friend of my friend Cong gressman Lawler,
don't mind speaking freely to you
You see I got married few months ago.
and the expenses were very heavy, !
must, of course, keep up appearances.
being the first Democratic President
elected in q quarter of q century, and The
fact is I'm hard up just at present. My
salary is $4,000 year, and it's all spent t.
Now, I want you to loan me 5000,
say for couple of years, at seven per
cent, and help me out of my trouble.
You can spare me that small amount
without missing it.
Totally unprepared for any such de.
mand, Pat Sands jaws dropped asunder
and his eyes bulged out to the size o1
Bermuda onion. He essayed to- speak,
but in vain. BE looked first one side
and then the other, and the scene became
30 ludicrous that both the President and
Congressman Lawler could hardly con.
tain themselves. The effect was just
what Lawler expected, for the ex.alder-
man was greatly shocked: the veins Of
his forehead protruded, and he seemed on
the verge of an apoplectic stroke at being
asked to give up 100000, even to the
President. Unable to longer stand the
pressure, the ex.alderman rushed forward
and, seizing MIR. Lawler by the coat tails,
he dragged him toward the door, crying
"Lawler, let's get out of this ! Great
God, mani Did you ever hear the like
of that7 A hundred thousand dollars
Why, it would ruin me forever |"
Mr.. Lawler allowed himself to be
dragged away, while President Cleveland.
although keenly enjoying the joke, was
evidently alarmed at the terrible effect il
had produced. The ex alderman never
stopped to take breath until he was out
of the white house grounds and safe on
Pennsylvania Avenue. Hurrying to
sWillard's hotel lie hastily packed hiE
gripaack, paid his bill, and made for the
railroad depot, Notwithstanding the pro:
testations Of Mr.. Lawler who endeavored
vainly to explain that the whole affair
was q joke. Mr.. Sands was MOTTO be ap.
peased nor Modified, replying:
"I'm off for Chicago by the first train,
and don't you forget it. And I'll not
come to Washington again to pay my
respects to all the Democratic Presidents
that ever lived. Why did you tell the
President that was q rich and inauen.
tial citizenP I'd give S5 In cash if you
had only told him [ was after a watch
mans place in the Chicago custom house
at $50 month !"