The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1889-11-02
Mr.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
BY MRS. BOwSER.

( Iuluh VIC IL RO up W euo park CO-
morrow SAID Mr.. Bowser the other
Saturday evening as he finished his
cigar.
But won'tit be dreadfully crowded."
queried.
'There you go! You are always
ready to oppose anything suggest"
Il am not opposing you, only you
know that the boats are always crowd
ed on Sunday, and that one is apt to
meet with lawless characters. l have
heard you say that the place was in
possession of a mob all day Sunday"
Never! On the contrary have al
ways boasted of how orderly it was. l
guarantee that you can go up there
alone and stay all day and you will be
treated like a queen"
"Well, if you think we had best go,
why"
"Of course I do. l think little
trip on the water will do us all good,
and at the island we will seek some
sylvan retreat and enjoy the beauties
of the surroundings.
"And you-you won't get mad?"
Mrs. Bowser, what do you mean?"
IF things do not go right you won't
scold and blame everything to me?"
'Have you gone mad? When did l
over blame you? If you suspect that
you are getting softening of the brain
let me know and I'll have a medical
examination"
After dinner next day we made a
start. | think Mr.. Bowser started with
the firm determination to keep his good
nature at every hazard, but something
occurred almost Immediately to upset
him. The street Car was jamb-full and
running over, but it stopped and we
wedged our way in. In the squeeze
some one stepped on Mr.. Bowser's corn,
some one else knocked his plug hat off,
and another person was heard to re-
mark that if he weigheda ton he would
charter special car when he wanted
to ride. This put Mr.. Bowser in trim
to say to the conductor:
Does the manager OF this line think
we are lot OF hogs that. we can be
packed in an old car this way?"
Don't know, sir"
Then you'd better find out! It's an
insult on decent people, and l for one
don't propose to submit to it!!'
THAI rize, ole felr!' shouted half
drunken man from the front OF the car.
10 in, old bay Window added
second.
'Ten to one on old Bowser," yelled
a man from the rear platform.
We finally got down to the boat. 1t
was black with humanity and l didn't
want to go, but Mr.. Bowser elbowed
right and left and l followed. After
being crowded. pushed, jamb, squeezed,
and knocked about for ten minutes got
a chair which drunken man had just
fallen OF, aud Mr. Bowser found stand
ing room beside me.
Il told you thought the boats would
be crowded." l remarked IS soon as I
could get my breath.
well, that shows all you know
about it. There's no crowd on this
boat. She could carry as many again"
."But what a rough set of people!"
mo rougher than we are. You SIM
ply want to find fault and make me un-
comfortable.
Just at that moment a tough came up,
looked Mr.. Bowser over from crown to
heel, and then said:
'.You look like the bloke who threw
mud at me little sister last May"
''Sir! You are mistaken!'' replied Mr..
Bowser.
What er you doin' wild all that
stole on P" demanded the tough as he
brought his arm around and gave Mr..
Bowser's hat a swat which sent it
flying to the deck.
Mr.. Bowser grabbed him and there
would have been fight had not num-
Der of men interfered. When the hat
was recovered it had shoulder blade
and three ribs broken, and in the brief
clinch the tough had torn away Mr..
Bowser's necktie.
I'm SO sorry we came" l said as I
got chance to speak to him. "You
know told you thought it would be
very unpleasant"
"Yes, of course you are sorry! You
can't bear to see me enjoying myself!
! wasn't aware that anything unpleas-
ant had occurred"
In getting off the boat at the island |
some one stepped on my dress-skirt and
nearly tore it of, while Mr.. Bowser's
hat was crushed down over his eyes
and some one picked his cigar-case out
of his coat-tail pocket. We finally got
out of the crowd and wandered away
until we reached shady spot. and
then it did seem as if we might take
some comfort. l began to express my
sympathy for Mr.. Bowser, when he
turned on me with:
when ! want TO- be condoled with,
I'll let you know. Thus far we have
had real good time, and don't want
to hear any more kicking about it."
''This is the sylvan retreat you
spoke of, 1 supposeP' remarked as
1 looked around and saw cigar stubs,
playing cards, pretzels, beer bottle
corks and a rusty old cor!k-screw lying
on the grass.
He didn't say. He was going to.
when couple Of young men came that
way and stopped and asked Mr.. Bowser
for match to light their clay-pipes.
He didn't have any, and one Of them
said:
"Well, yer needn't BE- so crusty about
IL. We are just as good as you are"
"And blamed sight better, Jimr"
added the other. .'I've seen this old
bungee up here every Sunday this
summer, and he's always had diff