Connecticut western news., 1889-12-11
YANKEEISMS.
CHARACTERISTICS OF NEW ENG-
 LAND LIFE AND SPEECH.

Some Yankee Stories That Are Bit Old
 but Good.
 Clarence Deming contributes to the Christian Union some characteristics of rural New England life and speech taken from notebook of twenty-five years standing. When, many years ago, I asked a rustic citizen of the town, after his first visit to New York, his opinion of the great city, his reply was: "Weel, never! Why, there on Broadway it alters seemed's though meetin's just out"
 The note book abounds in miscella- neous Yankeeisms gleamed from the whimsical characters to be found in every back town of Yankeedom. Among the oldest of this odd species was MT. D., rugged and antique resident of Western Connecticut vil- lage. While driving his cows to pas ture Mir. D. used to address them in most emphatic terms.
 uncommonly frolicsome mood, he was overheard to say: "Ycs, scatter, will ye! Blast yc! if there warn't but one of ye ye'd scatter!'' On a night dark as Erebus, Mir. D. rushed out ex- citedly on boys pilfering his favorite pear tree, exclaiming: 'sI see ye! I know ye! Where be ye? Who are ye?" His profanity was often most voluble and redundant; but it never reached a loftier climax than on an occasion wagon after five-mile drive, and, on going back for it, found that he had been using it as seat. One of his near neighbors was good old dame, the Mrs. Malaprop of the village, who once remarked at our dinner table: "I know person who calls the cornish of roof the tarnish." She was matched by one of my old Yankee friends, now gone to his reward, who corrected an acquaintance reading aloud an account of President Lincoln's funeral, saying that the word "corpsc" was French, and ought to be pronounced sscore."
 It was not long before, at local sword presentation during the civil war, that heard one of the orators exhort the ladies not to forget the soldiers in the hospital as we'll as on the field. "For," added he, "there's more what Is not slowed on the field of battle than what is killed by ball, 2 At court ill that village I was present when a witness testified that "there were somewheres between 'leven and twelve eggs in the basket" Among the good Yankee stories of the neigh borhood are the following: "Mr. B., before driving from his farm to town. used to delay long delivering what he called his slast worlds" His vexed hired man at last broke out "Mr. B., you'd be an awful bad man to die; you'd have so many last words that the undertaker's bill would come ill before yer was dead" One 1 of the oddest native characters was Mir. B., an ardent defender of the doctrine of election. One day while ''argyfying" with a neighbor at din. ner, he lifted morsel of beef on his fork, asserting: "I have no more doubt, sir, of the doctrine of election than that shall eat that meat" Witl the emphasis of his gesture the meal flew off and was instantly devourcd by the family dog.
 Here are few Yankeeisms. drawl for the most par: from the same local ity: ''He buffers sausages'-i. C., live too extravagantly; Back up you cart" for pass your plate; "Waal that's a huckleberry tew much;" "H, died of plexy;" "Can't let yer have nc eggs to-day, we're a-settin';" sI hav' written 8 receipt for lny husband' tombstone;;" ''Draw a long scythe' (sigh); "These corns hurt me so most want to walk backwards :" s1New ark, New Jersey, is in New York State isn't it?" s'We had fine ball las night! the T. Ostrich Orchestra played for ,us."
 Let me close with this rural telegram which, many years ago, 1 was per mitted to copy, and which I pen lit orally, save the substitution of a spu rious name:
 "John Smith has broken his leg badley. All we'll"
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