The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-12-14
MIN HB0uF TOWN.

The winter days are with us,
knew it by sign
| Surer than any prophecy
From now till end of time.
Get out your antique ulster,
Sew up that gaping rent;
| There's hat stuffed in the broken
pane
| At Casey's tenement
-Keainey Enterprise.
~
| He had not long been acquainted
with certain Irish gentlemen of the
old school, and. as natural conSe-
quence, he was unacquainted with the
quality of the ten-year-old whisky
which that gentleman sets over Il bar
at one OF the very few places where
the drinker gets the pure old article
in Ottawa.
"Gimme some whisky" he said.
He got it.
PUT little peppermint in it," he
demanded.
Peppermint" exclaimed the Irish
gentleman. "And We want to put
peppermint in that whisky that's ten
years auld? Faith, then, it's no pep
permint ye'll get here. Ye'll drink it
as it is or I'll put it back in the bottle.
"Peppermintm calculated the old man
consumed with disgust.
This same gentleman, who is as
well known for his natural wit as by
his honest dealings and perennial
good nature, was approached the other
day by neighboring business man
who had built a sidewalk at the rear
Of his store, and asked if he too would
not construct a like improvement.
Eyes" said the Irish gentlemen.
'Yes, Mr.. Blank, l like to be nice. l
like to have tile walks and nice
things. But, Blank, won't build a
walk, for, if | did, they'd tear it up,
piece by piece, and carry it away be-
fore me eyes"
Wonder who he meant?
~.
"The stage is improving" said Mr..
Charles Venable, of the Lost in New
York" Company. ut is getting back
to where it ought to be-"
''How SOP" asked the Man About
Town.
ooh, the Interstate Commerce law
made transportation too expensive for
the ten and twenty-cent combina-
tionS, and they have been practically
frozen out of the business. The pub
lie is now getting legitimate shows
with good actors and pays fair price.
We actors are living again, where we
once only scraped up a bare eXis-
tence, while the 'ham-fatS' of the pro-
fession are saving wood and husking
the festive corn-their real business in
life"
"How are actors salaries running
this season? Any improvements"
YES, much improvement. Salaries
for beginners run from SO to $50 pei
week, and for artists from $50 to
900 week. He is poor actor
who does not draw $50 per week in a
legitimate company"
Nevertheless, there are still many
rank companies on the rOad?" sug'
gested the Man.
Eyes, but they don't pay in good
show towns A poor show hurts an
lopera house, and managers are be-
ICOHllllS VERY Cdlclui III ooohihS ohi"p
attractions"
"How would you remedy the fake
attraction evil?"
LET opera house managers follow
the example of the manager of the
South Bend, Ind, theatre. lie books
but one attraction per week, and only
the best The receipts seldom run
less than $500 per performance"
| A business lady, partner in promi
nent downtown store, is the victim
Of a comical practical Joke, which was
perpetrated upon her by her partner
last Sunday.
They had decided to go to Chicago
and as the rate to Chicago and return
is one fare on a Saturday or Sunday
the lady in buying the tickets called
for ticket for herself and half
fare ticket" This she passed to he
partner, who, when on board thu
train, in turn handed it to the con
ductor
But" suggested the conductor
"where is the child?"
Child. What do you mean?"
Eyes. This is a half-fare ticket"
81 know that. Don't you know
that the road only charges half fare or
Sunday?"
YES; but this is child's ticket"
, "Ohw
She paid full fare, but she did no
say word during the entire trip-no
a word.
DR.. Smith, of Streator, surgeon o
the Santa Fe road, who is known BY
: everyone as a good carver and a gen
} eral good fellow, was in town OF
Thursday and attempted to put up ;
Job on the boys. The MAN" met hin
in the County Clerks office.
Say, you pencil fiend," greeted thu
"Doc., )" "bet you s. you can't blow
this ball off the end of this piece o
wood"
} He held his scheme up to view. II
consisted of small round ball and
piece Of wood shaped somewhat like
the bishop" Of chess set. TO what
might have been the head of The
bishop" was attached rubber tube
which connected with hole through
the bishop" The bottom of thu
bishop" standard was conveXed.
| "NO.r remarked the Man, Il neVel