Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-04-22
OUR MAIL POUCH.
AM IptoIerabIe NuIsanee.

To the Editor Of The Dispatch;
The approach of the month of May, repleta
as it is with the events of great moment to
lovers of music Of the higher order is hailed
with joyful anticipation by all deVotees of the
divine art, and well it may be- for the dearth Of
means whereby to crafty the true musical
taste is, indeed, remarkable in q community
possessed of the population and material pros
perity of Pittsburg and its environments. But
many there be that wot of whose joy OF
anticipation is dampened by a nervous dread
of the reality. Whence arises this nightmare?
it may be asked. 1t is produced by vague
feeling of uncertainty as to the plan Of campaign
likely to be adopted by the monstrosity COM
monty known as the theater or concert room
hog. This bette noir of the playhouse or con-
cert hall, be it male or female, is
answerable, Willingly or unwitIngly, for
the deviation of thousands OF its
spite of this lamentable fact these b0res rise
superiorsto their surroundings; their mobility
OF countenance is undisJurbed, and their
serenity of soul unruf1ed: for they are suscepti-
BILE neither to didactic criticism nor to the
ethics of good breeding. They simply journey
along in the even tenor OF their way, calmly
indlffer ent to the intolerable outrage. which
they perpetrate upon the poor deluded
wretches who fancy that they visit theater or
concert room to hear and witness a per-
formance, and not to be enmeshed in the
sazione.
There resides in the cities of Pittsburg and
Allegheny many an ardent lover of music
especially orchestral-who, through stress of
circumstances, cannot by any possibility leave
home in order to crafty his desire; therefore,
unlike MahomeJ and the mountain
he must, perforce await the pleasure
Cb.nca Of any peripa;etic musicians that may
desert. But alas /! even then he is not permitted
to enjoy to the full that feast of harmony that
MS soul has long craved for. Once snuglY en-
sconced in his seat he is soon made painfully
conscious that he is placed in fatal inxta posi-
ton to parcel Of noodles whose sole mission
there apparently, is to display their ornaments
and asinine proclivities. Should the noodles
attention by any chance be attracted to the
performance he will then and there proceed to
rapidly expatiate upon its merits or demeritsl
In very audible tone of voice, and then hav-
ing disposed OF It to his satisfaction, will at
once revert, In Kissing whisper, to an edify-
ing narrative of the remarkable doings Of
"Cholly" and himself the preceding evening
Meanwhile the victim writhes in mental agony
and at the conclusion of the COZ cert having
been cheated out of that which he paid to hear
aDdhad right to hear, he wearily wends his
way homeward creating fearful havoc among
the Ten Commandments In an impotent effort
to wreck his righteous vengeance upon any
thing at all however intangible.
And the concert hog? He ambles away
bearing within his breast glowing conscious
ness OF having acquitted himself nobly of his
contemplate part in life. Men and women of
common sense and culture attend concerts as
listeners and remain so until the conclusion of
each number and comment upon the perform
ance during the interregnum only. The
noodles of both sexes go to vindicate their in
contestlble claims to be what inherent and ac-
CURED ignorance, stupidity and Hl-breeding
have made them-consummate asses. Perhaps
1t were useless to attempt the extirpation of
this evil, but In view of the approaching SYM
phony concerts and the May festival would
like to see The DISPATCH and other infnen-
tiaI journals of the city hammer the concert
hog on the head once more, so that we may see
what can be accomplished. LID,
ALLEGHENY, April 20