The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-10-10
WISE AND orHERNIsE.
A wild west show-sunset,

A wild west show-Sunset.
The mule kicks with his last legs.
Horticulture for lovers-Raising two
lips,
For disordered liver try Beecham's
Pills. ~
The pink of propriety--The maiden's
blush.
Persons who really enjoy bad health
The doctors.
Owe no man anything even IL it is
grudge, pay him.
lis the accounts of side-door saloon
that are kept by the double system.
Good housekeepers prefer ]. C. Davis
Old Soap. 1t saves labor and clothes.
"All things will come to him who
waits. The dry rot, for one thing
Philadelphia Press.
Most fountain pens are made up of
two parts rubber, three parts ink and
five parts profanity - onkers Gazette.
He-Come, now let's kiss and make
up: She-No, sir won't. He-Well,
let's kiss anyhow. -SonerUille Journal
An exchange says summer is passing
rapidly away. Yes The biggest portion
OF 1t was washed away. -NOrrtStopn
Herald.
We are living, we are dwelling in
very ticklish time, 1t not only requires
cash but nerve to live nowadays.-NelU
York Press.
A man may consider himself much
better than his neighbor, but he cannot
prove it to that neighbours satisfaction.
Troy Press.
Frosted feet may be cured in one or
two days by the use of Salvation OIL, The
great pain destroyer. For sale at all
druggists % cents. .. .......
We observe that young man who
was arrested for attempted suicide by
jumping into the river has been "baled
out by his friends. "--Munsey's Weekly.
What shall call my play asked the
man who had stolen one from the French |;
and his friend advised him to call it Eli
jah because it was translated ,-SJtings.
A girls sincere friendship is a good
thing for young man to have, but the
young man who il in love with the girl
has no earthly use for it.-SomerviHe
Journal.
The bookkeeper of Clevel md plumb
ing firm is under arrest for embezz ing
$4,000. He probably neglected to re-
port an order received to thaw out a
frcz4n pipe last winter.
The Irwin Standard observes "a
m ans father and mother may forsake
him his children may ignore him the
wife OF his bosom may desert him but
/ tho n nnllanfnr xayiI Foll l.; 1.
grave"
IL would like to ask you a qdes tion,"
said a gentleman to fellow who was
spreading himself over four seats in
crowded railway car. "What is il ~
What brand of nerve food do you use r.
Epoch.
1t Is said that the hogs in this country
are double the value of the sheep. Is
chat the reason why the railway hog
monOpolizes two seas in Car while
some sheep-faced man is compelled TO
stand T-SUtings.
The most obstinate cases of catarrh are
cured by the use Of Elys Cream Balm,
the only agreeable remedy. 1t is not a
liquid or pnuff, is easily applied into the
nostris. For cold in the head it Is mag
ical. 1t gives relief Al once. Price 80
cents. 1873
Kate-Papa said that il l married
young E laby he'd cut me off with q
shilling. Frank-Bravo ! Go it, EIlaby !
And did you mention me? Kate-Yes,
Frank. dear, did. Papa said that il |
married you he'd cut me off without one.
Time,
We have speedy and positive cure
for Catarrh, Diphtheria, Canker Mouth
and Headache. in SHILOH'S CATARRH
REMEDY. A nasal injector free with
each bottle. Use it if you desire health
and sweet breath. Price so cents. Sold
by j. I. Shurtleff.
Professor Gauthier, OF Paris, states
that certain vital processes of the body
develop purifying substances IN the It's
sues, which, If not speedily eliminated,
produce disease. Ayers Sarsaparilia
effects the removal Of these substances,
and thereby preserves health.
"Will you trust me, Fanny ?" he cried
with all my heart, with all my soul,
with all my self, Augustus, she whis
pered, nesting on his manly bosom.
would to heaven that you were my tail
or" he murmured to himself aud took
her tenderly in his arms -Erchdnge
Obituary editor.-How about the no.
tice Of the Hon. Snufftout Good man.
Worth three sticks. Managing editor
CATER query through the speaking tube
to business office)-Give the deceased
five lines. find that the corpse don't
advertise with us.-PittSburg Bulletin
Amy (hesitatlngly)-Papa II must
confess something. Harry and had
arranged to elope to night. but my con-
science troubled me, and iust had to
tell you and spoiled it all. Papa-It need
not spoil it. 60 ahead and elope, but
never tell knew it, 1t will save the ex
penses of wedding -Harper's Bazaar.
The Engineer
Of The Wakefield, Mass, Rattan Works.
G. N. Young, says In all cases of bill
iousness accompanied with those terri
BILE sick headaches, have found no 9TH
er medicine that seems to take hold and
do the good that your Sulphur Bitters
does. 1t is the best family medicine
made. s....l.. 37t2
| ShIIoh,a ro.o..t. ID ....I