The Penn's Grove record., 1889-09-28
A WIFE's ECONOMY.

A wall to the sailor wnei
--
A WIFE'S ECONOMY.
Mr.. and Mrs. Blossom were new
stars Of a fine brilllancy but Of a small
magnitude in the society of Warrens-
burg. Alexander Blossom and Minnie
Blossom had been married for one short
year, which time seemed to them just
one long summers day. There are sev-
erai unmarried people unlike Alexander
and Minnie, for these were never happy
except when they were together, and
when they were together never un-
happy for a moment. When Alexander
came in from business he always In
stituted q search for the brown-eyed
girl who was waiting for him, and
when he began to despair she would
start out of a certain passage way with
q gay laugh and ask him where his
eyes were. OF course under these cir
cumstances, it was necessary for her to
take q good, square look at his eyes to
Determine If they were the same as
ever, and then occurred some of those
manifestations which foolish people
call roolishness, and which only stopped
when the genial housemaid came to an
nounce that dinner was served. VI
course, the housemaid did no say,
..DInner is served;'' her proclamation
verbatim was, "Come, now;" but the
meaning wa. che same. l have omitted
to say that Minnie was not very tall;
that she was remarkably healthy and
and dellciously plump. Her lips were
as near bursting with fitness as cher
ries after a rain: her forehead was low,
and her eyebrows, heavier than the Or
binary, made her Just SO much the more
magnetic. There was nothing wonder
full about Alexander. You VIII COM
prehend Alexander at once when l say
that he received 500 a month. which
he did not earn. However, he firmly
believed that in some mysterious way
his labor brought large returns to his
employers.
With $1OO a month the Blossoms had
to live. Fortunately, they had no rent
to pay; the market books, under Min
MES care, figured up reasonably, and
the domestic was kind enough to de-
mand but SIS a month.
One day Alexander came home from
his alleged business looking nice and
sweet, and also looking for Minnie.
The latter rushed out from the unex-
pected place in which she always hid,
caught him around the neck. asked him
where his eyes were, put arapturous
kiss just below his cancels hair mus
tache, and cried, "Whod do you THINK"
The sagacIous husband implanted a
rapturous kiss just below where Minnie
would have had a splendid brown mus
tache had she been in that line, and re-
piled that he didn't know. He also de-
manded advice as to what it was appro-
PIRATE to think. Minnie then explained
that a letter had come addressed to
him, that it looked like wedding cards,
that she had-had opened it, and that
it wasn't wedding cards after all.
Some men, hearing of a mysterious
letter opened by a LOVING wife, would
have experienced a feeling of vague un-
rest. Not SO Alexander. He silently
weighed the merits of some hasty false
hoods and inquired bravely what the
letter was.
San invitation to join the Warrens-
burg Social club" said Minnie, ''and 1
have been thinking of it all the after
noon." So she had, in her womanly
ways she had been thinking what dress.
q she could wear. "Isn't 1t nice?''
she cried. "Now, say we can CO."
"Of course we can CO."
+ The unguardedness Of this answer
was essentially masculine. Women, on
the contrary, always begin by refusing,
and afterward allow themselves to be
argued into anything whatever.
''Then you must get a dress suit, -
said Mrs. Blossom.
These were, indeed, strange words.
They conveyed he revolving idea that
the fashionable Alexander had nothing
in dress moro formal than cutaways or
Prince Alberts. How. then, had he
been married? The explanation throws
light on a very dark passage in MI.
Blossoms life-his dressed suit had
been pawned; and worse, the time of
redemption had expired.
81 can't CO." he said, resigning him
self to Fate with a large F.
"That's it, cried Minnie, delighted
''I've been figuring it all up. and you
can CO." Here she ran into the next
room, and in one second returned with
Q sheet of legal cap bearing very illegal
looking figures. Now look at thisl"
Alexander looked, and 1 have to re-
cord that he was not shocked. The
figures and their method were about as
nearly like those of an ordained book
keeper as Mr.. Blossoms own.
"We've got to be economical for two
months, you see," said Minnie. "There
it is, all on paper"
The indisputable document ran thus:
Grocer, so; Jane, SIS; butcher, SIS;
coal, s.; everything else, 10; altogether,
$78-$7S out of 500 leaves $22-say
$40; two months. S40."
"One of these suits doesn't cost more
than that, does it?" she asked, conf
IDENTIFY.
"Costs SIS, "replied the gloomy Alex
ander.
"Humpl" cried Minnie, "Can't you
manager If it were a SIS dress, $40
would be plenty"
Alexander shook his head.
"But the club meets early in the
evening"" persisted Minnie. "Couldn't
you get one that would do-readv