Rock Island daily Argus., 1889-05-28
scRwEINFuRTH's SNARE.

The Freeport .'Bystander" Visits the
Former Rock Island Divine in His
Blasphemous Den at Rockford.
The "Bystander," the bright genius Of
the reportorial staff of the Freeport Bul.
letin. has paid visit to Rev. George J..
Schweinfurth, the former Rock Island
minister, now of Rockford, and who has
gained considerable notoriety of late
through his assertions of being vested
with divine power.
The "Bystander." after detailing his
arrival at Schweinfurth's heaven" and
finding himself in his presence, gives the
following conversation:
Your other name is Christ. believe p
said l. inquiringly.
Yes, said he. modestly, as he put a
dash of peppersauce in his glass.
How long have you been so?' SAID /,
in tone that suggested slight doubt in
my mind.
"For about twelve years" said he, with
some emphasis. "but il hasn't been gem
orally known until the last two or three
years. You know Mrs. Beekman was
the spiritual bride of Christ. She died
about fifteen years ago, but before she
left she gave me commission to act
as Saviour l doubted my ability then,
but since that time have received mani
festations that are conclusive. l am the
Perfect Man and the Christ"
Have you got the commission or the
manifestations with your asked l.
No" said he, scornfully my COM
mission is not in an old leather reucule
In the garrat. neither have l any straw
berry mark on my left arm. My follows
ers have faith. If you would gain the
glorious possibilities of heaven you must
believe only have implicit faith in me
and give your property to me and you
are saved. My followers are the elect :;
they are the salt of the earth, and the
angels of heaven"
1.-The Lord then turned his attention
to other matters and left me alone for a
few moments. His real name is George
j. Schweinfurth and "the Father" is only
an alias of his. He is tall, pale and
slender. His forehead is high and white
as marble. His eyes are blue, but Off
color. and his chin is decked with an
English cropped beard of an unmistaka.
BILE reddish linge. but soft as silk. and
quite wavy. The corners of his
mouth look rather weak and ir-
resolute. but he seems to get there
just the same. His nose is of classic
mold, with thin nostrils, and his head is
shaped like coal scuttIe with bay win
dow. He dresses very nsttily and is real
ly good looking figure. He would be
picked up for self-poised man of the
than the god of the Beekmanites.
This florid whiskered and suave Mes
siah was born in Ohio in 1858 and has
therefore turned his back on some thirty
six eventful summers. He is German,
as his name very successfully indicates,
and his parents had not been in this coun
try very long before he showed up him>
self. His career has been "A rapid and
successful one. Through strict attention
to business he has been by degrees school
bov, college student. theologian, Metho-
dist minister, Beekmanite bishop, and
God" 1t is not every man who can
start out with limited advantages and be
a red>headed Perfect Man" at the age of
thirty>siX. 1t would seem that he had
reached the end of his tether but who
knows? Who knows but that he may
work his way through another degree
and become an ancient and honorable
primordial Creator and generalissimo of
time and eternity. Here is a young man
with a smooth white brow, who started
out in life with no other capital than a
gall made for man eight sizes bigger
than himself. Look at him todayl He
has a job at holding down the throne of
the universe and has saved half a million
of dollars with which to equip balloons to
capture the red planet Mars. All of
which goes to show that the competition
IN the heavenly father business is not as
lively as it is in other lines and also that
the possibilities opened up to a young
man under a republican form of govern
ment are illimitable.
The home he inhabits, Heaven" as it
is now called, is very large frame man.
sion, with high stone foundation, some
what suggestive of the Swiss style of ar
chitecture. 1t stands amid nest of for
est trees somewhat back from a country
the city of Rockford. Here the Father
lives. moves and has his being, and here
he has his galaxy of angels who obey his
slightest behest. The Weldon farm,
where all this monkey business is going
on. has been anything but heaven for
several score of years. IL has an inter-
estlng but unpleasant history and by a
train of sequences could easily be imag-
ined the abode of just such cranks as hold
the fort there today.
Now, MIR. Schweinfurth or Mr..
Creator, or whoever you are, said /,
steruly. twill you tell me how long you
expect this dime museum of yours to last
What kind of a hoodoo are you anyhow
that you can take a whole blamed commun-
ity and make 'em believe that a quarter
section of Winnebago county land is the
kingdom of heaven. Coin to set up a
red plush throne of grace, are YEP
stormed l. still more savagely. want
a paradise painted terra Gotta and filled
with $11 chromos, of whom you are
chief2 Fine looking Messiah you are,
with an embroidered shirt and two
story collar, amt yer What sort of a
joint is a garden of Eden filled with
blondes in blue Mother Hubbards2 Nice
sort of New Jerusalem that you have to
put lightning rods on, amt it? Trot out
your jasper walls till l kick 'em where
you don't need any fire insurance. Bring
on your angels, your St. Peters and your
Gabriels till / knock the whole kit and
posse as high as pigeon can fly in two
daysl Come on wowi woopi ooofff'-
by this time was yelling SO loud that
could be heard three blocks and all the
inhabitants of heaven and the adjacent
county were beginning to assemble
round.
Schweinfurth stood still but with COM
pressed lips that told of the wrath thai
was raging within. When finished my
outburst of fury he seized my wrist and