The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-06-05
PITH AND POINT.
A Russian sigh-siberia.
A master hand-The overseer.
On the s'free list''-Old maids.

1ue iduuury SHl SSnotohy 1eS
hands full of wrings.
The street vender's business is S,
trade; tits calling.
The most acceptable letter for an,
maid-A-vowel Of love.
A host in himself-The cannibal
devoured his entertainer.
The shafts of humor of to-day
sadly in need of elevators.
1t makes a General mad to see
battle flag before it is won. ~
A great many new winter suits
to be seen at the court house.
If loves lies dreaming can't he tell
truth when he is awakel-Sysings.
The more pets the old maid has
more pettish the old maid is apt to-
A conductor is like a milliners
dow in one respect-he collects
fair.
If your wife asks for new bouae
will be fashionable to give her q poke
Neu York Neus.
Curiously enough, after the purcha
had paid for his gun, he said he Ro4
like to have it charged.
A watch chain is no more sign d
watch than q pair of cuffs is OF
shirt.-Jewelers' Weekly.
Mormon saints have wives sealed
them, and an attempt to defend
practice might be called whitewashI
the ceiling.
Many large wagers are chronicled Il
time to time; but Queen Elizabeth 4
remains the greatest Bet in history
Boston Bulletin.
She-"Good graciousl How darH
is. lean hardly find my mouth" II
"Allow me, Miss, to assist you in sesr
ing for it."-Sytings.
When you want to intimate to q
that you consider his veracity questlS
able, the safest plan is to use the =
phone.--Syraeuss Herald.
Young Mother-"Horrors, Jane,
baby is trying to swallow a. ld
Nurse-F.It's all right, mum; it'a q %
ty pin. .'--Mw Tork Sun.
'tAre you engaged to Miss Ecla
"No, not exactly. But when ! asl
her for her hand she gave me the
fusal of it."-DetroI FREQ Press.
A hand organ man is teaching;
monkey the art of boot-blackingi
the American public will not put up "
such money shines.-Meso York Nssos.
Rattan furniture is all the style n
for country houses. It has been
style for country school houses for
great many years past.-S meroitts 10
nal.
"Gone are the cleaners and finished ther
Blossom and bee with the song birds
s.eeping." Penn Yam Chrohict4
Gone are the strawberries, where, none
tell,
But the mushrooms and grouse fill the
very we'll. -Ddnus"e o'ee@
The Shrewd Profession-Old Sm|
Ito weeping beggar boy)."What /
YOU crying for, little boy3" Little
-"Crying, sir, cause I wor afraid t
YOU, as a noice binevolint old jintlem3
would pass me without giving me
cent" (Gets ten. n.)-7ime.
Little Girl (reading book of travels
North Africa) at last reached 4
summit, and saw the whole range of 1
famous mountains outspread beneath 4
like q map" "Oh! then, that's "
thew call them the Atlas mountains. \
Harper's Nung People.
Wife-"Why, John, what made u
get such little umbrella with so mu|
Randle." Husband THAT handles sol
silver" Wife-"Yes, but you can't d
the handle up when it rains" HusbaI
-"WelI, 1 like to know if I didn't 4
it up for SIS during the last wet spellr|
Washington Critic.
sI've brought back that ring to|
yesterday on approval, " he said to 4
ieweler. "What Was the trouble; dldI
it ft9" "No," he said, sadly, II thoug
well, that is-well, you see, boua
it for a certain finger, but she would
wear it on that, so I've come back W
it."-Jepeier's Weekly.
A newspaper IS offering prizes OF
for the order in which the baseball teal
will finish at the end of the season. q
other offers $500 for correct guess
the three coolest days this winter; AM
in order to keep up with the processlo
we will give 800, 900 cash to any q
who sends US the correct date on Will
the end of the world will occur.-M
York Ne7o:.
THE FOO! BALL PLAYER.
NV neither ear was neatly nipped,
My collar bone was broken,
NV shoulder from its socket slipped,
NV larvnx bruisel and chicken.
Host five teeth and smashed my nose,-
NV left legs very lame,
But all the same we thrashed our foes,
1t was dandy game
An aged widower got married recent
for the fourth time, notwithstandiI
that he had house full of grown-r1
children. While the marriage cere1noI
was being performed one of the guest
hearing sobs in the next room. askS
one of the children who it was. "Thst
Emily" was the reply, "she alwaJ
howls when papa gets married again"