San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-08-23
Miscellaneous Appropriations.

flashing gems" Coincidentally, we
may remark that it is the same way
with us, though the probabilities are
that the queen gets the biggest sala'
ry.-Norristown Herald.
Young Author-Doctor, if / can't
get some relief from writer's cramp, /
shall have to give up my literary
work. I have come to you for advice.
Doctor who has read some of his
literary work My young friend,
quit writing entirely. and relief not
only instantaneous but widespread
will follow.-Craftsman.
Mr.. Giltedge-Oh, yes, while was
abroad / lost several thousand dollars
at baccarat.
Mrs. Mushroom-You don't say?
Why didn't you advertise in one of
the Baccarat papers? Perhaps the
fellow that found it was honest enough
to return it, if he'd knowed who it
belonged to.-America.
Old Resident-Young man. you are
about to start weekly paper here:
Journalist-Ges,s sir.
Old Resident-And I suppose you
have come to stay?
.Journalist-Ges, sir.
Old Resident-Well, take the adj
vice of one who has been the rise and
fall of seventeen weekly papers in
this town.
Journalistic will, sir; what is it,"
Old ResiGent-DOn't say in your
salutatory: We have come to stay.
Elk.
Editor-Got a man in your town
over 100 years old, eh?
Galleries., sir,
Editor-Saws a cord of wood before
breakfast, walks twenty miles a day,
aud reads the finest print with ease,
1 suppose?
CalIer-No, sir; hes very infrm
and half blind.
EdifOr-Humph! / guess he can't
be over eighty.-New York Weekly.
as humor hereditary?" asked a
writer. 1t may be or it may not, but
if the cynics are TO be believed, most
modern newspaper humor Is i'll her
ited.-Somerville Journal.
Obituary Editor-How about the
notice of the Hon. Snutttout: Good
man. Worth three sticks.
Managing Editor lafter a query
through the speaking tube to business
office -Give the deceased five lines.
I find that the corpse don't advertise
with us Pittsburg Bulletin.
Mrs. Shoddy-I have called to tell
you that you need not send us your
paper any longer.
Editor-Nery sorry to lose you.
Don't you find the paper to your lik-
ing"
Mrs. Shoddy-Oh, yes, the paper is
all well enough, but /
Editor trust that nothing in our
policy jars upon your sentiments:
Mrs. Shoddy-NO; but the fact is,
bustles are out of style, and have no
further use for it. America:
"Why are you never accused of mis-
eminent men in your re-
ports of speeches and interviews >"
. Experienced reporter-"Because l
don't print what they say, but what
they ought to say."-Orange Judd
Farmer.
Editor-"By the way, Mr.. Jenkins,
are you the author of the expression,
the italics are our own which you
have made use of in commenting on
this extract from the Bugle:"
Mr.. Jenkins-N-o, sir, cannot say
that 1 am. 1 consider it very good
idea, though, myself,
Editor-Oh, certainly, it keeps peO-
pie from thinking that we might have
borrowed our italic type from some
other office.-Paper and Printing
Trades Journal.
New York Reporter-How does
your EXcellency like America and its
great institutions:
Hadji Hassein Ghooly Khan Mo-
AIMED ell War, Envoy Extraordinary
and Minister Pleni potentiary from
Persia to the United States Just step
ping off the gang plankl-Ah, mercl-
splk Inglees.
"Do you know why the chimney
hue?n he asked, as he dropped into
the visitors chair. We didn't answer
erbally, but we know why he tried
to fly as we reached for the lever
a bOve the desk. But he was too late.
There was a crash, a yell, mangled
form was thrown in the alley, gong
struck and three figures appeared on
the wall. Then all was silent. Our
Surepop Spring Poet and Crank Ex-
had registered its lSlst vic
tim and wound itself up for the next.
Time.
And this is the way the reporter
wrote out portion of his interview:
His excellency expressed his de-
light with America and the evidence
OF prosperity and civilization which
he had witnessed, and took special
pains to remark to the representative