Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-12-20
LIGHT MOODS.
A LATE riser-Poor Yeast.

WHY does widow feel her bo,o
ment less when she wears corsets9 W
cause she's so-laced. De-
WE all know that it is wron.
about people behind their backs. ~ lax
talking about man in front Of h., oue
is not so easy. 'aek
ED1ToR-I cannot thinl, md
typewriter at the same time Due; .ue
Editor-Then you find the tyneur ; -.
no better than the pen. N''er
"PuREsr cup of coffee in Boston y :;
sign in cheap restaurant. samn,on
OF the beverage think "purestn il nas
the correct way to spell poorest w
MERR1rr-H you keep on, Jobnn;
you will soon know as much M ron,
teacher. I'd know as much now ;fI
had the book before me like she dooa
YOUNG Lady (tailor made)-Talo
my seat, please. Old lady (neas
sighted, but gratefuD-Thank von
sir. You are the only gentleman in tho
car.
SAMMY-Ma, what does it mean hv
man laughing in his sleeve? Mrs
Observation-Disclosures ask your father. h
has hidden many smile under HE
vest.
II has been discovered that the cash.
boys were very lazy in the days of job
for he says: All the days Of nv an.
pointed time will I wait till my chance
comes.
do YOU remember how ten yeors
ago in this place you offered yourself to
me?" "Oh, yes, and you refused me-,
Il have been reconsidering the matter
$50 have l."
BRIDGET Cher fourth day. - Miss
jimmy, one Of your mashes is in the par.
lor. I don't mean the dark fellow with
the curly eyelashes, bnt the blonde
bloke with specs"
! Mrs. BRowN-As you have been aeood
boy, I have given your sister Is cents
to take you out and get some ice cream,
Little Johnnie-Which of us is to hav.
the 1o-cent plate, ma?
"Now, REALLY, what was the most as.
tonishing thing you saw in Paris, Mr..
Spicer?" asked Miss Gusher; and
without moments hesitation Seth as
swered, "My hotel bill"
SOME one asked an old lady about a
sermon: Gould you remember it,
Remember il? La, no; the minister
couldn't remember it himself. He had
to have it written down"
Mrs. PoDGERs--Johnny, don't YOU
point that pistol at me. Johnny-Huh!
ma, this is nuthin' but paper cap pis.
toll, and it amt loaded. Mrs. Podgers
That's just the reason I am afraid
of it.
The Solution-How shall we move
the masses? asked the Temperance Or
ator. Just then somebody in the out
skirts Of the crowd remarked: "Come
up and take q drink, fellows and the
masses moved.
MINISTERIAL friend (on visit)-I
wonder what makes your mamma SO
happy Today. She is singing around
all over the house. Little Nell-I dess
she's thought of somfn to scold papa
about when he comes home.
BENN1E- do people really
buy babies? Mamma-Of course, child;
of course. Run out now and play.
Bonnie Gin brown study)-Then why
is it, mamma, that poor people buy
more Of em than anybody else?
AUNT Eliza-When you go to New
York, uncle, do you intend to take
Sound boat? Uncle Simon OF course
I'll take sound boat I don't intend
to run any risk of being ship-wrecked.
A good, sound boat for me, or none.
Mrs. SADFAcE Ito Tommy, who had
stolen jar of preserves)-My boy, I
know You are sorry. I sec it in your
face. Tommy (meditatively) = Yes,
mamma, am. There was a bigger
jar on the Shelf that couldn't reach.
JONES, q chronic bore, telling about
an incident in which man was
drowned, said-It happened in less time
than take to tell it. II guess so;
otherwise the man might have been
rescued" replied distinguished lis
tener.
EXCUSE me, MISS" said smart
young man to a young lady who affects
juvenility in her dress, "but your hair IS
oil down" "Thank you," was the re-
ply; perhaps you have observed the
same fact in connection with your mus
tache."
THE DISCOVERY.
When old Columbus with his ships
About America lowered,
Each Indian mud with sprightly grace