Morning journal and courier., 1889-08-21

DESIRA BILE.

It may be desirable to live to a green old
age, but when you have attained it please
keep away from the bunco men.-Puck.
These experiments with the elixir of life
are going too far. An Indiana doctor has
given some to a book agent.-Pittsburg
Chronicle.
correspondent suggests that John L.
Sullivan's bust be placed on the new 2.cent
postage stamps. But Sullivan can't be licked,
Wall street News.
Prison visitor-s'Was it burglary brought
you here?" Prisoner-"No, ma'am, 1t was
bunglery. Ny pal didn't know his business,
and the job was bungled. boston Budget.
Inquirer Chow does your protraoted
meeting prosper. parsona"- -Parson-"Oh,
very well. "There's great awakening at
the close of every sermon. ."-Omaha World.
Edith-Shall read about the astronomy of
the Persiansa
Florence-No, don't read that. I don't
know the stars in my own country yet.-De-
troit Free Press.
"Dear," said the physicians wife as they
sat in church, "there is Mrs. Goldberg sit
ting in draught." "Never mind" said her
husband, 81 will cash that draft later on."-
Washington Capital.
Countryman-"Who are they putting that
statue up for!" Citizen-"That's the statue
of James Brown Smith," :'Did he do any,
thing great or wise while he livedg" "Yes,
he paid for that statue before he died.n-
Time.
New Yorker Ito Col. Bourbon)-"C Colonel,
what do you drink mostly down in Ken
tuckys' Col. Bourbon-"Drink Why,
whiskey, of coursel What did you think we
drank-lagera We're no Prohibitionists!"-
Puck.
Young man-''Tommy, is your sister ina''
Tommy-"Yes." Y. M.-"Is she engageda"
TT guess SO; saw her kiss Mr.. Come
again in the hall a little while ago, and she
always said she'd never kiss a man unless he
was engaged to her" Yankee Blade.
Youthful swell-"Hello, johnson, why
aren't you in bathings Afraid the black will
come off" Johnson-"Dat's jst it, sab.
'Fraid de black'd come off an I'd look like
you. Dat's 'nuff ter keep a 'spectable niggah
con.
Mrs. Newmarket (which one of your
friends has had triplets born to hims" Mr..
Recommendations of them, my dear.
Why's" Mrs. Newmarried-"Nothin only
heard you say in your sleep, Got three of
kind, have you. Well, that beats me."-
Lawrence American.
Visitor-"Well, Tommy, how are you get
ting on at schoola" Tommy (aged eight =
"First rate. amt doing as well as some of
the other boys, though. can stand on my
head, but have to put my feet against the
fence. want to do 1t without being near
the fence at all, and can after I've been to
school long ugh."-Buffalo Courier.
Mother (severely) = "Robsrt, you did
very wrong to do what told you not to do.
As punishment for your disobedience for
bid you to play with Willie again this after
noon" Bobby and Willie twist nervously
in their chairs for half an hour, when Willie
observes: "Ma, do you think it's fair to pun
ish both of us for what Bobby done!'-El-
mira Telegram.
American Citizen-'I suppose your rooms
are big enough for three-quarter bed and
washstand and SO located that 1t would be
sure death in case of frea'
"Hotel Keepsr-"Yes, SIR"
SIS there anything to prevent intoxicated
guests from setting fire to the houses"
"Nothing at ALL"
care Intoxicated persons allowed in bed
| rooms without an attendants"
ooh, yes sir. In fact, they can get drunk
| if they like, and we furnish the liquor at the
| usual rates."
T-I don't think care to take board
here"
1--WE have six kinds of pie."
"Gee Whitaker! Gimme room."-New
| York Weekly.