Morning journal and courier., 1889-02-27
SUPER REOR.

A New York cook gets $5.00O year on | account of his ''soup'-erior skill.-Dansville Breeze.
 A man generally knows what's lon the carpet" after stepping on tack.--Boston Courier.
 The autocrat of the breakfast table-The ! two-year-old child.-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
 s'Blest be the tie that binds" is not believed , to be an spostrophe to tight lacing.-Glens ! Falls Republican.
 Some men are very hard on clothes. They ! wear them out the very day they get them.- | Rochester Post-Express. Weary Reveller.-"Bless me, p'liceman | this seat is very dampsh" Policeman ''Yes, sir; it probably is moist-as you've sat in a drinking trough. Fun. A Montana man advertises for wife who l is ''as clever in making a pudding as she is
 in writing a poem" If he gets his choice l the Lord help him when he eats pudding Boston Post.
 Neighbor-What made your little brother squeal so loud this morninga Boy-Pa made him squeal that way so the neighbors would believe we had killed pig. German Joke.
 Mrs. Meguinness-An' sure, now, dye b'lave that woman in the shanty beyant is Mir. O'Hoolihans wifea" Mrs. Du Ghann-Och, there's no doubt aboot that. I've heard him batin' her. Beggar (apparently in the last stages of in
 anition)-Chari.y, sir, charity! am stsrv- ing
 Old Soak (sympathetically)-So am |. Let's go and get eggnoggi I'll treat
 Lowell Citizen.
 ssDon't you want man of mind, when you
 marrys" asked K street girl of friend.
 "Not particularly" was the reply. 'T
 want man to mind, though, ,and if he doesn't
 well, he'll hear from me pretty quick."-
 Washington Critic.
 "Pshaw,n said Sixteenth street lady to
 her husband, who had been criticizing her
 attire, "what does man know about
 woman's clothes, anyway?' ssHe knows the
 price, my dear," he replied, gently, and she
 retired. Washington Critic.
 Touche (airily)-"What, working old man.
 Pm just of for the dog show" Bilious
 (wearily)-"What prize are you trying for?"
 Touche (angrily).,''Well, sir, Pm not enter
 Thanks, awfully. That gives
 my pup walkover." ."-New York Herald.
 Lecturer (who intends to trace the origin of
 certain dishes and give their historical sig
 ni6cance)-"Now,l ladies and gentlemen, many
 of you will doubtless be surprised at the question I am about to ask. Why do we eat mince pie2" Voice (from dyspeptic-looking auditor)-tB Because we are fools. .'-NewYork Weekly.
 Young girl Cat ne-teller's)-''What! am going to marry poor laborer and live in shanty and have seventeen childrens It's outrageousI My friend Sarah had her fortune told here and you said she was to marry a prince and live in three castles. Huh! Here is your quarter" Fortune-teller (with dig- nity)-"Yo friend Sarah got 5S-cent for tune, miss. s."-Philadelphia Record. The Farmer, the Tramp and the Dog Tramp (to farmer digging in the garden)- sfHayseed, can't you give me little some- thing to eata" Farmer-"Naw. I ain't got nuthin' fur ye; there ain't thing in the house fur ye." Tramp-"All right; so let it be. That's fine dog you've got there" The farmer, dropping his shovel and coming over by the fence, saId-"Friend are ye a jedge O fine dogsa" Tramp-"What don't know about dogs wouldn't make a bark That dog, sir, never cost less than a hundred" Farmer Shouting to wife-"Jane, git up suthin' nice to eat an bring it out herel"-Philip H. Welch, in the Epoch.