The Opelousas courier., 1889-06-15
BUYING A PRESENT.
Shopping Expedition of a Man Who Oloh'
Mind the Expense.

tie WAS one VI UllC ~ ~
sum Ridge settlement, and was down
at the county seat for the first time
since the war. He went poking about
the streets, peering into the stores ana
shops with the air of a man who had a
deep-seated purpose in view. He went
on until he came to a large dry-goods
establishment, where he halted for q
minute as if undecided whetherto enter
or pass on. Finally he blundered in,
and, striking the first clerk he came to,
he said:
"Say, mister, hev yer any thing in
this ere shebang es 'ud be suitable fer
er birthday gif' fer the ole 'oman?"
''Why, yes" the clerk stammered
out, 81 expect so. What would you
like to buy?"
oval, thar yer got me, stranger.
I'm derned if l know what 'ud suit"
"What have you been in the habit of
getting for the occasion?"
"Thet's jest it, young Teller, l hain't
never bought any gift afore, and it's all
ley to me Yer see, it's this ere way:
Men the ole 'oman's been married nigh
ter sixty year. l say it's sixty past,
but she holds out agin me tibet it's
ewine onter sixty, but ole 'Squar Bee
son, who jined US, says I'm right, an
the ole 'Squar's a mighty level-headed
man. Yer know ther Squire, reck-
on?"
Eyes, I know the Squire. But about
the present."
'.Yes. that's jist what I wuz gittin'
at. Wal, yer see, as l said; mon the.
ole 'oman's been err joggin' erlong ter
| gether all them years up thar on Pos
| sum Ridge, an sort O humpin' our-
| selves in Their craps an out, an we
hain't thought much er putin on no
| style, ner nothin' O. that sort. But
| t'other day l fell ter readin' er leetle
| piece what sorter set me ter goin' in
| nv mind, an l felt like es eff L hain't
| done jest fair by the ole oman, an L
| KEEP er thinkin'. an by gum, Their fust
| thing l knowed I'd done jes' plumb
made up mer min ter git 'er er birth
day gif'. want ter s'prise 'er."
Eyes, and you want something real
nice, l SUPPOSED"
'.That's what, mister. Sumpin' rale
| handsome that'll kin'er make up fer all
| them gifts what she didn't git. An
| don't keer eff it costs er right smart,
| nuther, fer Their ole 'oman's been monty
| faithful all them years, an hain't
never kicked on dom Their feedin' an
| gittin' in Their wood an shuckin' out
| Their fodder in Their winter, an helpin'
in Their hay stackin' an sech like in
Their summer"
.'Well, now, here is a nice dress
| pattern that would suit first rate"
..Thet's kin'er nice, stranger. Whut
| does it come at?"
Ten dollars"
..Say, l reckon that wouldn't suit.
Yer see l got 'er en- caliker gownd las
fall, an"
"Well. then, how is this wrap at eight
! dollars?n
"Won't do, / guess. She's got ell
shawl, an, asides, thet's q leetle grair
morn l keer ter pay
Here are a pair of slippers at five
dollars
Il reckon Idon't want them, nuther
Els | said, Their ole 'oman's been faith.
full, an hain't never kicked agin keep
in up her eend O. ther work, an
want ter s'pise FER with sumpin' ralt
nice, but, yer see, I don't want ter e
too high"
swell, here is a pair of slippers a
two dollars. That's low enough, ism
it?n
That's gittin' down some, but Tn
afeerd it's err leetle mite too high yit.
"About how much are you Filling tt
pay?"
Il hain't going ter be perticler, mis-
ter, fer I started out ter git sumpin
nice, even if it does come pooty vel
up, but / wanter be a leetle keerful
Lem'me see, what does them thar ban
banners come at?"
Ten cents"
"Hain't none fer fve?"
"No."
"Wul, I reckon I'll jest take oneJo
them. Es I said at fust, I hain't per
ticker erbout err few cents one way e
tother, an asides it'll do fer us be-!
ter use. Don't yer reckon6ther oil
'oman's eyes IL stick out like knots o.
err lorg when she sees thet?"-Detroi
Free Press.
TIE DIVORCE PROBLEM.