davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
MEANT TO BE FUNNY.

Speech is not always silver. 1t is some-
times sounding brass.-BostoH Gazette.
Namby-I hear, Pamby, that you pos
sess an estimable wife. PambY (sadlyJ-No she
possesses me.-Ydnkee Blade.
Mr.. Younghusband-Dar YOU have
been weeping. What is it, my sweetest love?
Mrs. ounghusband-Horseradis Detroit Free
Press
Algernon-Say, grandpa, here's a picture
of a Roman banquet, and they are all lying down
to eat. They don't do that way now do they?
Grandpa-Er-weIl, yes, there is less
lying done at public dinners still.-Grip.
The Last Chance-Miss Lillie-And so
MIR. Flutterby proposed to you last evening!
Really what did you think of it at the 1me?
Miss Rose with frmness)-That IL should be the
last evening he'd propose to anybody. Didn't
accept2-Puck.
1t Comes Too Late.-Mr. Morris Towne
Il see Edison has invented ar-slghted ma
chine.
Mr.. Harlem Rhodes-Yes: wish he had put it
on the market before began to build Queen Anne
cottage in a suburban "Park. PUCK.
Wickwire-I wish to goodness somebody
would invent a way to distinguish between a type
writing machine and the girl who runs it. Yabs-
Iey-I should think man of ordinary sense would
have no trouble in doing WIckwire-O you
idiot mean In writing. received bill stating
that 1 was indebted to Blank & 60. for ribbon
for typewriter ~ and my wife got hold Of it and
raised a dickens of row for about an hour before
she'd let me explain.-IsTTe Hduts Express.
A Last Resort-Mr. Job Lott-John, send
me boy.
Mr.. Avredge-The boys are all out, sir.
Mr.. Lott-Ring for a district messenger.
Mr.. Avredge-Very sorry, sir; but the messen-
ger call is out of order.
Mr.. Lott-I must get a message to Blank &
r1I, IL r,aI,orv and I
around and see them. Are the under clerks at
dinner?
Mr.. Avredge-Yes, sir.
Mr.. Lott t(despairingly)-Then will have to use
the telephone.-Puck.
No ACCOMPLISHMENTS Foreigner
am told that the moment little English flag was
hung from private residence in New York ON
the Queens birthday the street was filled with q
bowling mob and the flag had to be taken down.
American Oficial-Yis, sorr.
Distinguished Foreigner-And yet the Irish flag
waved from the City Hall all st. Patrick's Day
without ripple of excitement?
American Oficial-Yis, sorr. The English hadn't
backbone enough ter say wan wor-r-d, sorr.
Distinguished Foreigner-How about the Amer
leans?
American oficial-Begorry, who cares fur
thim?-Puck.
A MODEST MAID.
Young Lochinvar came from the West,
By affection deep melted,
To claim the maiden most modest,
To whom his troth was plighted.
''Oh, Mary, minel My matchless maid.
You know love you madly.
And have built a home, ~ he said,
Which needs your presence sadly"
'''Tis but modest little nest,
The rooms are two in number
One room to cook in, one for rest
All built Of undressed lumber"
''Why, Johni'' cried she. Her burning face
She hid upon his breast
'.H0w can one build a modest place
With lumber all undressedg''
-Trrs Aaut. gsvrssa
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE MEN.
The Reason Women Never Read News.
papers on the Street Cars.

The Reason Women Never Read News
papers on the Street Cars.
From the Detroit Free Press.l
Anyone riding much on the street cars will
notice one popularity in regard to women
passengers" said an old conductor; "they never
read a newspaper on the cars. often stop the
car for some woman to get paper of a news
boy. She'll be in the greatest hurry till she
gets it, and then she'll fold it up kind of small
and tuck it away in her workbeg."
what do you think is the reason of it?'
asked passenger.
81 guess they think it would look too much
like the men-kind of strong-minded to read it.
I've seen one or two take a sly look at the head
lines, but they never read to amount to any
thing then. And I'm mortal glad they don't.
If all the women In the cars took to reading
we conductors would never get the fares col
lected. Only the other day man took but
ton out of his vest pocket and gave it to me
while he was reading his paper, and they sit up
behind them sheets and never see their own
wives standing up 'Iongside of them. There is
one woman that reads paper just like a man
when she rides down town, but then she is
politician and has to guess"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
SHE SEEKS RELIEF.
A Mother Whose Daughter Suffered at Bald
Eagle Valley.

To the Editor of The Dispatcn:
Why is it that the Relief Committee won't
help any of the sufferers from the floods except
the Johnstown sufferers? My son-in-law and
my daughter were flooded out in Bald Eagle
Valley, one mile above Ridgeway, and lost all
they had, and, besides, she sprained her back
trying to save her things. So they are in dis
tress. Well. 1 was down to town trying to get
some relief for them. l got nothing but my
feelings hurt. am so nervous and confused
can scarcely write. 1 was at the Chamber Of
Commerce. They asked me if my daughter had
husband, said he ought to be able to support
her, and said woman Of my appearance ask
ing charity!
Well. l got so weak could scarcely walk, so
l staggered down to the Relief Committee and
stated my case. They told me Imust get anOte
from the Chamber of Commerce. / was so
weak asked for cup of coffee and offered to
pay for it, but was refused, to my very great
modification. If this is what you call charityI
wasn't asking for char1ty-only for assistance
to get them down here and to help them to
some wearing apparel. Will you please answer
this and tell me where it is best to go for relef2
Yours very respectfully,
ANNA NJ. MEDDoCK,
LAwRENCEvILLE, RAvINE STREET, THIR-
TENTH WARD, June A.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

The new rules for representation in the
Oil Exchanges seem to be based on the
legitimate foundation of giving the largest
exchanges the more votes. But when the
size is fixed by clearings which may repre-
senta considerable proportion of washed
sales, the situation is ripe for the rumor
that this is the first step in forcing "future"
trading into that business. Well, it is
doubtful whether the lambs will yield up
their feeces any more promptly to that
form of speculation than to the present one.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
ANOTHER JONAH.
An American Sailor Who Was Within a
Whales Mouth.
p,a,,, 10 I,biIo u1,o,z,


From the Philadelphia Press.l
J.W. Kiesler. late Commanders clerk. United
States Navy, now a resident of Honesdale, Pa,
tells the following story of a very remarkable
experience of an American sailor with whale
He says: George Leonard, an acting master in
the United States Navy during the Civil War;
and stationed on board the gunboat Katahdin
West Gulf blockading squadron, in 1853, told a
story OF heroism, and exhibited marks on his
body that cOrroborated his words. The year
1850 found Leonard, as one of the crew of the
ship Enterprise, a whaler in the North Pacific.
One day he was stationed in the bow of whale
boat long distance from the ship, with brave
crew who had sighted whale and made for
the monster with all possible dispatch. When
within proper distance Leonard threw his har-
poon, striking the fish hard and Deep In some
manner the line as it was running out caught
the body of one of the men in such a way as to
throw him overheard. The man suddenly sank.
whereupon Leonard transferred his line to
boatmate and sprang into the ocean in aid of
the drowning sailor.
The whale now maddened by his fast-howing
blood, made rush for the boat. Remarkable
and horrible to relate, Leonard's friend had
managed to regain the boat, while he himself
was caught by the whale between his jaws, his
position being inside the monsters mouth with
nothing protruding but one of his arms. In
this manner the man was in reality within the
jaws of death ITSELF The whale instantly
plunged down into the deep. and, IN the words
of Leonard himself, THE fish seemed to be
going down, down into eternity ITSELF"
The imprisoned man. after all this, had not
lost his presence of mind. He mustered his
entire bodily strengthened he was a powerful
man-actually bracing himself in such posi-
tlon as to compel the fish to spread his jaw; at
the same time with his arm that was free, he
grabbed the sheath knife out of its socket, cut
ting right and left. No sooner was there
sufficient opening made than Leonard forced
his body outside.
Up to the surface he swan, when, most
strange to say, he found himself within an
arms length of his boat. He was saved The
marks of the whales violence and the dents of
its teeth were very plainly visible on Leonard's
arms and he was always pointed out by his
brother naval officers as 1.-THE Second Jonah"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
RoBBING THE HOUSEHOLD.

The public issues which are involved in
an artificial enhancement of the price of
sugar, are very well stated by the New
York EUening Sun. That journal asserts
that "high sugar means misery to every
civilized race" and goes on to explain that
high-priced sugar means more costly coGce,
tea and other household beverages, higher
priced cakes, more expensive desserts, pre-
serves, pies, and all such delicacies. These
may be regarded as luxuries; but the delib-
crate cutting off of the luxuries of the COM
mon people for the benefit of a clique of
Spectators may very we'll take rank as a
crime against the public interest.
Our contemporary which puts the case in
this terse and lucid manner, says that pres
ent indications are that 'the present scarcity
will continue with corresponding prices un-
til new beet root crop gives the world a
fresh supply" 1t is possible that the sup
ply of raw sugars is somewhat diminished,
but that is not the only, nor indeed the
main, cause for the present high price of
this household staple. The real cause is the
combination OF the refners which imposes a
double or triple charge for refining the
sugars that are used by the people of this
country. They thus at once diminish the
rewards which stimulate production of raw
sugars and levy an unnecessary and unjust
tax upon the consumers of refined sugars.
1t is vital part of the problem that this
illegal tax upon the consumers of the whole
country is levied in defiance of the law.
The decision of the New York Court against
the sugar tax is conclusive upon this point.
Ought not the public to find some method
of protecting itself against illegal extortions
of this sort more prompt in its operation
than waiting until increased production
rectifes the wrong?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

ports of the conclusion of the laws decree.
The newspapers have the authority of the
Bill of Rights to sustain them in publish
ing accounts of capital executions. and there
is really nothing to hinder them in SO doing.
In the case of the application of new sys-
TEN of killing it is especially manifest that
full account of the process is demanded by
the public and is rightly due them.
If Kemmler is finally executed by cleo
tricity it may be expected with confidence
that every newspaper in the country will
publish full accounto oft. The Legislature
cannot successfully defy the Constitution of
the Government or the constitutional prin-
ciples of the American press.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
SAVED BY A PET DOG.
A Young Lady Who Owes Her Life to q
Faithful Black and Tan,

TFRoM STAFF CORRESPONDENT
JoHNsTowN, June l4.-Outside of IL minor
leases of surgery performed on patients whose
wounds were received while clearing the wreck,
there were only two sufferers brought
to the Bedford street hospital to-
day. Bridget Nailor, 66 years old, is
suffering intensely from pneumonia, contracted
by exposure in the water, and is in a very low
condition. The other case is that of James
Claussen, q years old. who was brought from
Nineyeh. He was afflicted with measles. and
transferred to the Red Cross Hospital, where
all contagious diseases are treated.
A young lady named Emma Morgan, whose
life was saved by pet black-and-tan dog. is
an inmate Of the Bedford hospital She was
fastened under a log when the flood swept her
house down, and the dog clung to her, barking
and whining until his cries attracted the at
tention of Mr.. Morgan, who was searching for
his daughter. Miss Morgan was rescued in
the nick OF time and is now being treated for
injuries received by the falling debris.
RAINIER
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
A Ships Speedy Trip.

NEW YORK, June H,-Captain Nickels, of
the ship State of Maine, of New Castle. Me-, is
a proud man to-day. He feels sure that his
ship has made the quickest voyage on record.
The vessel arrived yesterday from Hong Kong,
with cargo of tea, silk and other merchan-
disc, after a voyage of go days. The best trip
previous to this was that of the Great Admiral
three years ago. She made the voyage in SO
days. Captain Nickels believes that if he
hadn't missed the northeast mons oon he might
have Seen here sooner The State of Maine
was built in 1878. She is of ], ,467 tons burthen
2l6 feet long, 40 feet beam and "a feet deep.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
A HUSBANDS NAME.
Judge Beach Gives His Opinion as to a
Widows Right in it.

SuuR0 DeHCu Wives his Uplnl0n as 10 q
Widows Right in il.
NEW YORK, June A.-Judge Beach, of the
Supreme Court, has decided an interesting
question regarding the use of trade name in
which it was claimed that widow, although
she had remarked, was entitled to use her for
mer husbands name. Mr.. Kurzman conducts
millinery business at Grand and Eldridge
streets. Next door is the house of Corkery
Dowling & Co., and over their building, which
was similar to the other, was also placed the
name Kurzman. Mr.. Kurzman brought suit
at Special Term for an injunction restraining
the use of the name.
Mrs. Rachel Behrens, whose name was Kurz-
man until two years ago, member of the de-
fendant firm, claimed she had right to use
the name, especially as it had been used by her
former husband in the same business. Justice
Beach takes contrary view, saying:
The right to it was ended by his DEATH and
his widow lost it in her marriage with Behrens;
but had not that event happened the law would
not permit her to use her own name in man.
ner misleading the public to believe her busi-
ness was that Of another person bearing like
cognomen. The evidence leads to the irresist-
ible conclusion that defendant used the name
of Kurzman with intenJ and purpose to i'm
pose their establishment upon the public as
being plaintiffs.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
How Marion NIanOIa Was Left.

Miss Marion Manola is sorry that shaleft the
McCaull Opera Company few days ago in a
huff. because Eugene Oudin, the tenor, pushed
her on the stage. She told the manager to-day
that she was ready to resume her part, which
has been filed by Josephine Knapp since Miss
Manola's detection. All her penitence did not
help her, however. The manager refused to
take her back, and laughed at her excuse that
she had been ILL., Miss Manoa's next contract
with Colonel McCaull goes into effect on Sep
tanhar
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
Movements of Our Navy.

Rear-Admiral Gherardi this morning trans
ferred his flag from the Galena to the Kear-
sarge, which is to go to Hayti. The Kearsarge
will leave for Port-au-Prince on Sunday.
There was rumor to-day that she is sent to
protect American interests, which have been
imperiled by renewal of the fight between the
factions there. 1t was said that one of the
factions had seized a steamship of the Clyde
line. With favorable weather the old ship
may get to Hayti in week. The cruiser Bos-
ton will sail tomorrow for the city she is named
after, to take part in the celebration of the
one hundred and thirteenth anniversary Of
the battle of Bunker Hill.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

Mr.. JOHN G. NEW writes to his paper,
the Indianapolis Journal, and after asking
himself the question, "Do like London?"
replies in the affirmative, with the assertion
that strangers generally like London the bet
ter the longer they stay there. Mr.. New might
have added especially that those like it who
are able to lay up from S17, 900 to $4,000 a
year by remaining in the huge metropolis.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
INDOMITABLE STANLEY.

The receipt of news from Henry NJ Stan
ley indicates that the intrepid explorer has
again confounded the people who make a
practice of killing him whenever he disap-
pears into the wilds of Africa, by prac.
tically completing another march across
that great and comparatively unexplored
continent. The news comes from Usiri, a
town TO the southeast of Lake Victoria, and
$50 miles from the eastern coast of Africa.
The details which are published, concern
ing his arrival there, are so confused and
contradictory that they would throw doubt
upon the authenticity of the report, if they
were not accompanied by letter from the
explorer himself to Sir Francis Vinton.
This makes it practically certain that Stan
ley has come within reach of the eastern
coast of Africa, and is bringing Emin
Pasha with him away from the Equatorial
Province.
Thus Stanley will victoriously accom-
plish the work which he set out upon some
years ago of relieving the heroic Governor
of Equatorial Africa. The abandonment of
the work of civilization at thehead waters of
the Nile, is to be regretted. but it is certain
ly better so than to leave the pioneer whose
work has been so self-sacrifcing and sue
cessful, to the fate of Gordon. The success
which Stanley has secured in the face of
predictions and reports of failure, adds
another to the list of his great achievements
in African work.
The work of civilization in Africa now
seems to lie along the line of the Congo. If
Stanley can complete his work by freeing
that valley from the depredations of the
slave traders, he will have accomplished a
life-time's task, which will be riyaled by
few men in the history of civilization.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

Mr.. DANA reports from his Southern
trip that all traces of the civil war have
disappeared. He must have omitted to call
upon the Southern Confederacy residing at
Beauvoir, or to note the revivals of that de-
funct cause in the speeches of General Jubal
Early and the editorials of the Atlanta
Constitution, which speak about "Confeder-
ates who deserted their cause since the war
has ended"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
= THAT BURIED LITTLE FLOATER.
A Portrait That Is Very Closely Scanned by
Many in JOhnsfOwn.
IFRoM A STAFF CORRESPONDENCE

IFRoM STAFF CORRESPONDENCE
JoHNsTowN, June 4.-An unknown little
girl, aged about years, was found in the Ohio
river at Vanport, near Rochester, Pa, on the
day after the flood. There was nothing on the
body to identify her, and she was buried in
Beaver Cemetery. As a means of ascertaining
to whom she belongs, photograph was taken
of her. and copies will be distributed through
out the devastated district IN the hope of reach
ing some friend or relative. A copy was sent
exhibited at the rooms of the Children's Aid
Society.
1t attracted the attention of many callers,
who scanned the face closely to see if they
could recognize any familiar features; but
none have identified her yet. The pictures are
sold for Is cents each to pay for tombstone.
...-........ BANNER
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

A NEW idea in the line of drinking facil-
tiles has just been started in Berlin, where
for S15O man can obtain all the drinks he
wants for year, with monthly subscrip-
tiOns in proportion. If place of that sort
could obtain license in Pittsburg, some of
our old drinkers would undertake to send it
into bankruptcy before the year was up.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

The experience of General Early and
General Rosser, of the late Southern Con-
federacy, was very discouraging 25 years
ago when they attacked General Sheridan.
They have discreetly omitted to renew the
attempt until Sheridan's death. 1t is much
easier to beat dead man than q live one of
Sheridan's stamp.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

The ability of the American character to
rise superior to storms and floods is illus
trated by the fact that as the excitement
over the Johnstown disaster subsidies, Sena-
tor Quay is once more observed to have been
serenely at work getting the important
Pennsylvania Offices at Washington.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
AN INTERESTING DECISION.
The Payment of n United States Liquor
Tux Not an EYidence of SnIe.

Tax Not an Evidence of Sale.
BELFAST, Me-, June IA. An interesting
liquor case has been decided by the Law Court
of Maine. The amended liquor law of Maine
says that the payment of United States
liquor tax as retail liquor dealer, is prima
facie evidence of sale. At the April term of
the Supreme Judicial Court in Belfast, DAME
O'Connell was convicted as common seller of
Intoxicating liquors. The principal witness
was State constable, who produced copy
from the records of the Internal Revenue Col
lector at Portsmouth, n. H, showing that the
respondent had paid the United States tax.
The presiding Judge ruled that the payment
of United States tax was prima facie evidence
that the person paying the same was liquor
seller. O'Connell was convicted, but his coun-
sci took exceptions to the ruling and the case
went to the Law Court. The opinion of the
Court has just been received, and the excep-
tions sustained. In other words the Court
holds that the payment of a United States
liquor tax is not prima facie evidence of sale.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

THE papers are now kept busy in pub
fishing dispatches showing first that Hippo
lyte was whipped and next that Legitime is
the conqueror of Hayti. Cannot they get a
reliable referee to 60 down and decide who
is ahead2
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

Chief Justice Fuller has had the old mansion
known as Leland Castle, at New Rochelle. re-
paired and renovated throughout, and will oc-
cupy it this summer. He expects Grover
Cleveland will be his guest during July, and
the banner Democratic town of Westehester
county is preparing to honor both distinguished
gentlemen
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

IT is remarked by the Denver NelUs that
Gay Templeton seems to be making
reputation" The inference might be that
the gay actress can manufacture reputa-
ton to replace the one she has lost. But it
seems to be the same old reputation.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15
HIS JOKE DID NOT WORK.
A French Waiter Who Passes Himself or
as Admiral Blair

NEwBURG, N. Y, June l4.-A few days since
q slick-looking. well-dressed individual arrived
here and represented himself at the Riverside
Hotel to be Rear Admiral Blair, of the French
navy. who had come here to secure information
and endeavor to settle up the Van Nostrand
troubles at Nice. in which three American
ladies, relatives of Gardiner Van Nostrand, of
this city, were the parties interested
He treated all with whom he came in contact
bill at the bar for drinks. Finally suspicion
was aroused that he was a fraud and the pro-
prietress of the hotel had him arrested. He
confessed that his name was Peter Lugerson, a
French waiter. and was only carrying out a
Joke. He was sent to jail for 30 days.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

FRANCE pays compliment to the United
States by selecting the fourth of July as the
date for unveiling the statue of Liberty at
Paris. But what day the Monarchist party
will select for pulling the statue down again
when they get into power is yet an unsettled
question.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-15

tails, replied by removing her peremptorily.
This is spoils politics, pure and simple, and
may be taken to indicate the political prin-
ciple that campaign pledges are outlawed
after election day.