The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-06-08
ADVICE TO WIVES.
III You Want to BE Happy, Don't Be
Guilty of Sagging.

Guilty of NaggIng.
Whatever else you do, young wife,
don't mag the man you have mar
ried. Burn his bread, give him pies
and cake that you learned to make at
the cooking-school, allow his heels and
his toes the inestimable privilege of free
ventilation. spend his money, if you
can get it to spend; but, for sweet
charitys sake, don't mag him.
A husband is fellow-creature. He
has rights which ought to be respected.
And fault-tinding woman is worse
than a smoking chimney in perpetual
northeast rain-storm.
The nagging woman will meet her hus-
band in the hall, and open fire on him
before he gets off his overcoat.
James, did you get that braid sent
for? No? Well, hardly expected you
would. This is the third time you have
forgotten it. Why didn't 1 write it
down? Write it down! Dear me! if |
was a man, and managed business
like yours, I'd see if couldn't remem-
Der such little thing as ten cents
worth OF braid without having it down
in black and white.
'Now, James, must speak to you
about that sink pipe before forget it.
1t leaks into the cellar. We shall all
die of diphtheria and typhoid fever if
that pipe is not attended to. had the
headache all night, and it must have
been the gas from that pipe. No,
James, it was not the cold cabbage
ate just before going to bed. Indeed,
it was not. How absurd you are!
"And there is Mary Ann so put out
with the coal at the bottom of tho bin
that she declares she will give notice
tomorrow. And dear mother just
coming to make her annual visit, too!
And the man that painted the front
door was here yesterday with his bill.
Such a bill! Ten dollars for painting
door! Why | could have painted it
myself for half that money.
And oh, James, do wish we could
have stained glass in our hall. as the
Joneses have got in theirs! I'm sure
Jones doesn't make any more money
than you do, and stained glass has such
an aristocratic look. 1t imprcsses one,
when one goes into q house. to meet it,
Can't afford it? Well, am not at all
disappointed. l expected that was
what you would say. That's what you
always say when l have particularly
set my heart on any thing. 1t does
seem, James. as if you sat up nights
to study ont how to vex and thwart
me? o. dear! how much better off
woman is not TO marry! If | had only
known as much before marriage as
know now But there! it's no use
to wishi James, if we can't have
things like other folks, | should like
for you to wipe your boots before you
step into the parlor. OF course, l don't
eXpcct that you will do so, now that
you know that l want you to; but
thought aooutH speak of it. Some men |
arc so careless! But. then, others are |
not. Now, there is Mr.. Roberts. He |
never carries in grain of dirt, I've
heard his wife say, time and again,
and he puts on his slippers in the hall.
james. the clothes wringer handle
is broken. Mary Ann declared yes
terday that she'd never try to wiring
another rag of clothes with it. And |
declare. James, you must speak to the
milllman. The milk this morning was
blue as the sky. 0, dear, wish you
would put down that newspaper long
enough for me to tell you about it.
Reading about Harrison's new appoint
ments, are you? Well, do let them
wait There's been too much fuss
about them already. l hate politics!
A man is always reading politics when
his wife wants to talk to him about
household matters"
And then she goes out Of the room
in pet, and slams the door behind
her.
Don't be like her--N. Y. Weekly.
.