The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-07
The Way Men Do.
ANDY CRUNHH.

Yes ladies, I'll be honest for once in my life
II never am any more. You are not the on.
ly set of folks that love to talk, no, not by q
jug full, and big jug at that.
I've been man and boy, off and on, now
for several years, and know that they would
come as near dying II they couldn't get to
talk as you would, and you know now near
that Is.
or course know you have your sewing 80
cieties and missionary societies, where you
work and pray for the heather, and tell each
other all kind Of things on the members who
happen not to be there, and on those ladies
who you never have been able to get to join
and all together you have nice evening OF 1t.
OF course know when yon come back fom
cry woman in church was dressed, and the as
tonishing bonnet that Sallie Smith had on,
and those funny dresses the two Brown girls
l say know all this, and haye a good
right to know 1t because live at home.
Now there aint a man in town who cares
and very few know how his Sisters were
men don't take much stock in these kind Of
| things and make fun of you because you do
but just let drove of horses and mules and
Texas ponies come into town If you want to
| see stir.
In no time site bigger drove Of men have
| gone to see them, and in less than two min.
| utes every fellow has picked out, what he is
can tell which will balk and kick by the looks
| in their eyes. You havn't any idea, ladies
what vast amount your fathers and brothers
and the
is to.be learned about horse, ain't no man at
all.
It is true we anti got any sewing societie es
where we could make clothes for the heather
and discuss whether Tom Jones got the best
| OF that fight with Bill Black yesterday, and
what would have been the end Of 1t II they
had not been parted, but If we haven't got q
sewing society, we have got something else
that does about as we'll. Have you ever been
going along the street and has to pass thro' q
crowd OF men sitting on boxes and worn out
| chairs and me standing IN the middle OF
them? Well they are the directors of the
town and Of the country too. You may not
have noticed them, but they are there all the
| same-these directors you find them in
| any town you ever saw.
We hold regular meetings at all times and
special meeting on saturday when the dele
gates from the country come in.
We discuss every thing from the last dog
| fight up to the war that has been on the eve OF
breaking out in Europe for years.
There isn't any thing from the North Pole
| to the South that we lcan't tell each other
something about. We can run farms, and
United States and argue from the Bible. We
make speciality Of farming and those of US
who have tried 1t. have quit In order to have
time to tell others how.
| Perhaps you have noticed that the men part
Of the family always swaller their breakfast
\ without stopping to chew it and hurry off to
town telling you they have to be at their
place Of business early--be not deceived III
you will 60 into the town half hour later
you will find the last one Of them sitting out
but won't tell on them-go and see for
yourself.
They have found out at home how I've been
playing off on them and won't let me leave
till nine or ten o'clock-up to that time they
| keep me flying around on domestic missions,
and I've discovered 1t Is very large and Ia
\ borious field to occupy.
! You must know that the directors encour-
age the telling OF big tales as good exercise
| and a nice way to pass the time. The man
who tells the biggest tale is president till
somebody else turns him down. I'm glad to
say that I've heard statements made before
the board that would cap anything ever raised
| in Texas or Dakota. / myself have told sew
eral that the CRUNCH family need not be as
hamed of-my brother Jim is even better
| hand than am.
The directors meet early in the morning and
remain in session till late at night. There we
stay and chew and spit and talk, and talk and
chew and spit, and then come home SO tired
we can hardly drag and tell you we have had
an aW full busy day-the half of which you
must not believe. And now the next time
your husband gets after you for standing in
| front of the church and talking O month to
Mrs. Cab, you will know how to answer him.
This article Is written especially for the Ia
dies as the author wishes to get in favor with
| them, and particularly with one. It is not in
tended for the Board of Directors and he
hopes they will not readit.