Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-23
FUNERAL FASHIONS.
Some EXtravagances and Absurdities of
Bereavement.

Miss Kate Snnborn in New York Tribune.
We now read of receptions and funerals with
the same morbid interest in the society columns
OF some of our best newspapers. In severa
instances the name of the widow of the dead'
man Is placed at the head of the list of .'promi-
nent' persons attending the ceremony. Among
those present were Mrs. SO and So" How
grimly grotesque! And when an old club man
and sport, base rounder, worn out with dssi-
patton and excuses. gives up the ghost,
high-priced quartette, secured for the
occasion, MARBLES Nearer my God to
Thee" bursting into triumphal climax at the
close as if exulting over the victorious release
of some noble saint! or abide with me-" is
selected, or Lead, Kindly Light" which is
audaciously blasphemous under the circum-
stances. Mourning garb is often grateful
protection from publicity, but to what con-
ventional climax even this is now carried. If
! really Frustrated by grief how are we to be
expected TO stand up to be fitted for gowns,
wraps, bonnets of the latest style and the APP
proprlate depth of woe-an added trial or ach-
ing head weary feet and Borrowing heart?
OFTEN the best lessons to be gained from Attic
ton are lost in a mass of Grape, and what n.y.
pOcrisy is sometimes smothered beneath its
folds.
Wishing to initiate the rich. see the poor
Irish widow wasting the small sum left in the
savings bank for snowy ''mournin" and score
OF ''kerriges' that her friends may enjoy a
jolly drive at her expense, while sire is trying
to honor the corps" And those who are re-
fined and cultivated, but cramped by scanty in
comes starvation salaries how difficult. how
unwise, for them to follow the fashion in such
matters!
That the family is expected to sit upstairs,
away from their beloved one, during the hymn
and prayer, seems unnatural as for the men
to be expected to stand on damp ground, with
uncovered heads in snow rain during the
prayer at the grave. How dislike the current
phrase, viewing the remains" glibly uttered
by the CHEEKY undertaken thinking of his
big pay he endeavOrs to look melancholy. That
dear face. so lately wreathed in smiles or flushed
with sympathy, that form so familiar. so i'm
possible to think of without life, called the re
mains ~ That may do for the prosy. dust-cov-
cred sermons of some worthy old divine of past
generations, though L believe he would object
to it. As now used, it Is simply abhorrent.
| Nor do believe in two years of sable gloom
and enforced solitude. Look at the dismal fig
ures seen every dav on the street in cars in
church, swathed in hopeless black, the faces
even entirely shrouded by long. heavy, SIS or
$50 veil, shutting ont sunshine and air, danger
GUS to eyes, complexion and health, and giving
every passer-by IA chill. If one ventures after
months of torture, to throw back the VEIL
though it drags off the bonnet. pulling down
the hair, piercing the head with pins askew
and the unhappy being is jerked about until the
neck is nearly dislocated by those who are try
ing to get by.
Retiring from the world is often a
sef-denial or a burden. The reporters
speak of Mrs. So and So, as ''oblged
to withdraw" for dinner or dance, be-
cause father or husband has had the poor
taste, not to say bad manners, to actually die in
the height Of the season. But the really be-
reaved should not be left in awful loneliness
The piano is closed music would be discordant
sacrilege; yet the departed may be enjoying
heavenly harmonies. The blinds and draperies
shut out sunlight, because in Heaven there is
no night. What is lmperatiyely needed-cheer-
full society, new occupations. amusements, TAX
ing the mind into new channels-all this is per-
emptorily denied by fashion and Mrs. Grundy
and so there is nothing left but to go over the
narrowing details. the useless regrets, until
many are on the brink of insanity.
When | am shocked and grieved by the light
| OF familiar name in the column of deaths"
it is painful to please omit flowers" as if
the family feared an invasion of gigantic and
hdeous floral designs. The word omit would
| seem to indicate that there had been o chronic
| tendency among their friends in that direction
Flowers sent by loving and sympathetic friends,
because they are sympathetic and long to show
| 1t, ought never to be unwelcome and formally
| forbidden. What can one do? card is per-
| haps better with few words, certainly more
! agreeable than note of coincidence so diff
| cult to compose, unsatisfactory when finished
with its exasperating truisms, words are in
| adequate" Time is the great healer" 'Provi-
dence is inscrutable," &c. Job with all his
trials got no letters.
| If We broke fewer laws of health and morals,
providence would not seem SO ''inscrutable"
For many commit unconscious suicide. And if
we really believed what we profess to believe,
| death would not be so terrible a guest. Rather
blessed friend, to lead to something far better
than we dream. IF it were not 30, / would
have told you"