The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-12
BRIGHT BITS.

TIE CHICAGO IDEA-Wnl you share my lot
with me :" asked he of the real estate agents
daughter.
WHAT is it worth a front foot - calmly in
quired the sweet creature Chicago Maj.
"KlNG MILAN is fearfully short of money and
utterly without Credit When BroSely read
this he thrust both hands into MS pockets up
TO the wrists, and exclaimed, mechanically:
Fliegende BLdetter.
WHEN you forgive an enemy
The stings That smart and blister
The reason then is one Of two:
He Is bigger man than you,
Or has pretty sister.
P liIadeIphia Press.
YES like political life, " said the candidate;
but, tell you, you have TO exercise such con
slant vigilance and siueepia-S care. in one way,
that keeps you perpetaally nervous
To avoid being accused OF dshonssty?"
No, TO avoid being accused OF insulting the
grand army. '-PUck.
"GRANDPA," asked George, who fondly be-
ieyed his aged grandp3rent was a revolutionary
nero, now many BriJlsners dld you xiii -
20, aoout ssventy-tive replied the Old man,
desiring to humor the boy
"Pooh! what was ths matter with you d?
Were you too tired TO figat ?-HG per's Bazaar
PAPA" said Amy, hesitatingly, II must
COM ss something. Harry and | nad arranged
to elope to nlght, but my conscience troubled
me, AMI just had TO tell you and spoil it all &"
3
go ahead ami elope, but lever tell 1 knew or
it. 1t will save the expense Of wedding -
HdTper BdzGr.
Mr.. BLUNr-rve never given you credit for
knowing muca, MIS-. G0ligutly, but
Mrs Gohgntly Indignantly Sir, do you wish
to insult me
Mr.. Blunt-But, madam, I've always admired
your grace and beauty.
Mrs Goightly (snilinEly)-I accept your
apology, sir.-Ctnctitnd.t Commercial.
w
planter, that you will conduct every hing in u
satisfactory manner?
Eminent Undertaken Have no fear on that
score, | beg of you, Mrs. Blllnope. OF ali the
people have buried in my ion; add successful
career am proud to say that not one ever raised
the slightest objection to my work.-Ierre
HGute Express
HUSBAND (after a quarrel with his wife,
Well, let us drop it. don't care to nave any
words about it, and besides | ike to talk to a
sens Die person when ! a ii talking.
Wife (with sarcastic laugh)-You don't al
ways do 1t, then.
i'll don't?
W.--No, I sometimes hear you talking to
yourself.-BostoR CJluter
MAMMA, shall l speal, to the Hefterleighs if
meet any OF them on t1e streety You know
they dJnt ilv on Prairie avenue now. They've
moved To Michiga avenue"
III they reside below Thirty first street my
child. they are still in our set Treat them cor
daily"
But they live above Thirty first street, NAM
ma. e.
Then pass them with bow"
In fact, their home now is just above Six
tenth
Cut them dead. "-Chic19o Tribune
LITTLE IKE-Uncle Rastus, does cold make
eberything get hitler?
Uncle Rastus-Yas, it do; cold will always
contrac Don't yoI 'memJer night 10 las
Christmas de wood pile OF Parsoa Jones dat
lbs mex to me swunk up in one night L mex t.
nothin?
Lutte Ike-But don't you member. Uncle
Rastus, how de pile o wood by dc side O. do
stove IN lie cabin got heap bigger
Uncle Rastus-Wen, twas not in de room
you little ldyot; heat MAKES things bigger
You amt got de sense you was torn Wild
HdtperS buzar