Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-02-08
The Brakeman at Church.

sound asleep, and tall, thin passen-
ger was reading Gen. Grants Tour
Around the World" and wondering
why Green's August Flower" should
be printed above the doors Of "a Bud
dish Temple at Benares." To me
comes the brakeman. and seating him
self on the arm of the seat, says:
Il went to church yesterday
"Yes?'' | said, with that interested
infection that asks for more.
And what church did you attend?
Which do you guess?" he asked.
Some union mission church," /
hazarded.
No" he said, II don't like to run
on these branch roads very much. l
don't often go to church, and when
do. | want to run on the main line,
where your run is regular and you go
on schedule time, and don't have to
wait on connections. | don't like to
run on a branch Good enough, but
l don't like III.
"Episcopal?' guessed.
Limited Express" he said, "all pal
ace cars, and two dollars extra for a
seat, fast time and only stops at big
stations. Nice line, but too exhaus-
tive for brakeman. All train men
in uniform; conductors punch and
lantern silver-plated, and no train
boys allowed. Then the passengers
are allowed to talk back TO the con-
ductor, and it makes everybody feel
free and easy. No, couldn't stand
the palace cars. Rich road, though.
Don't often hear of receiver being
appointed for that line. Some mighty
nice people travel on it, too"
"Universalist?' | suggested.
Broad guage,n said the brakeman;
docs too much complimentary busi-
ness. Everybody travels on a pass.
Conductor doesn't get a fare once in
fifty miles. Stops at all flag stations,
and won't run into anything but a
union depot No smoking car on the
train. Train orders are rather vague,
though, and the trainmen don't get
along we'll with the passengers. No,
| don't go to the Universalist, though
l know some awfully good men who
run on that road
presbyterian! asked.
Marrow guage, eh?n said the brake
man; pretty track, straight as a rule,
tunnel rather than go around it, spir-
it level grade, passengers have to show
their tickets before they get on the
train. Mighty strict road, but the
cars are little narrow, have to sit
one in a seat and no room in the aisle
to dance. Then there is no stop-over
tickets allowed, got to go straight
through to the station you're ticketed
for, or you can't get on at all. When
the cars full, no extra coaches; cars
are built at the shops just to hold so
many. and nobody else allowed on.
But YOU don't often hear of an acci-
dent on that road. It's run up to the
rules"
Maybe you joined the Free Think
ers?'' | said
Scrub road" said the brakeman;
"dirt-road bed and no ballast, no time
card and no train dispatcher. All the
trains run wild, and every engineer
makes his own time, just as he pleases.
Smoke if you want to, kind of a go-as-
you-please road. Too many side tracks
and every switch wide open all the
time, with the switchman sound asleep
and the target lamp dead out. Go on
as you please and off when you want
to. Don't have TO show your tickets,
and the conductor isn't expected to
do anything but amuse the passen-
gers. No, sir; was offered a pass,
but don't like the line. | don't like TO
travel on a road that has no terminus.
Do YOU know, sir, ! asked division
superintendent where that road run
to, and he said he hoped TO die if he
knew. / asked him if the general su
perintendent could tell Inc, and he
said he didn't believe they had a gen
eral superintendent. and il they had,
he didn't know anything more about
the road than the passengers. Iasked
him who he reported to and he said
Nobody | asked a conductor who
he got his orders from, and he said he
didn't take orders from any living man
or dead ghost, and when | asked the
conductor where he got his orders
from he said he'd run that train to
suit himself, or he'd run her in the
ditch Now, You see, sir, I'm a rail-
road man, and / don't care TO run on
a road that has no time, or makes no
connections, runs nowhere, and has
no superintendent. 1t may be all
right, but I've railroaded too long not
TO understand it,
Maybe you went to the Congrega-
tional Church, / said.
Popular road, said the brakeman;
IAN old road, too, one of the very old
est in this country. Good road-hed
and comfortable ears. Well managed
road, too, directors don't interfere
with division superintendent and train
orders. Roads mighty popular, but
it's pretty independent, too. Yes,
didn't one of the division superintend-
ents down East discontinue one Of the
oldest stations on this line two or