The herald. (Big Stone City, Dak. [S.D.]) 1883-1890, 1889-08-16
NO. |
WIT AND HUMOR.

a rash ntruuer-MeaSleS.- L0nG0B
Fun.
We grow wise as we grow older,
but it is by forgetting what we thought
we knew.-Lyc.
Some men have blossomcd out in
new spring suits, while others still re-
main secdy.-Ptck.
Why should the spirit of mortal be
proud? No reason we can see unless
he owns an icc-pond.
Somebody asks, 'Why don't our
Young men come to the 'front.'" Be-
cause the batdheadcd men get the seats
first. Lite.
1t is fly time with the dishonest
cashier when he thinks his peculations
are on the eve of being discovered
Boston courier.
The young King of spain's nurses
probably have httle trouble in keeping
him clean since he is himself the
CASTLES hope. .-HoteS MAJ.
Fullcr-S Somehow ! feel lost this
morning. Muller-Well, 90 around
To the different saloons. You'll find
yourself there if anywhere. Epoch.
The Pilgrim Fathers who landed on
Plymouth Rock were naturally tenn
perate They were not well supplied,
and had more rock than rye. .-Neap
orleans Picayltne.
The man who whistles is a happy
nau. Not absolutely, but relatively
so. He is far happier than the pco-
pie who have to listen to him.-1cfrc
Hante Express.
Brightly-Do you know why people
are never stuck up in autumn Dull.
ard-Can't say that do. Brightly
Because pride always goes before
fall.-LoUe5t. .Cittsen.
She-Do you love me. Harry2 He
More than all the world. Sle-Ihen
why don't you marry me9 He-be-
cause want 10 love you, darling, for
ever Washington Critic.
r First student Bigss tells me that he
writes regularly for the Century. Sec
ond student-So lie does. He writes
home to the oll man for 500 every
month. = 1erre Hdtte EEpress. -.
Miss Houler-And pray tell NC tru-
". professor, what do you think Of
my voice? Professor-Exeusez moi.
| mademoiselle. | positiveclee could
| not be SO incourtcous. Time.
The young lawyer graduate is no
where beside the sweet girl graduate
SAYS a piece Of comparative anatomy.
But he will be beside her when lie
graduates. .-Neto orleans Picayune.
Mrs. Shaw IS said to have made $l5,-
/ 00O by her whistling the last seas1t1
/ Thousands Of women who want $ft,-
600 have TO .whistle for it"-and then
they don't get ii.-Nor7istoo0n Herald.
McCorkle-IIello! Briggs, you eat
ing at this restaurant! How is that?
/ Brlggs-I have II bad cold, McCorkle;
i I've seen the starvation cure highly
recommended, and I'm trying 1t
/ Lpock.
Our Minister to England receives
] only $l1,oUO a Year, and must '.hnd
himself. - Ministers to Mexico have
before now been appointed who could
i not find themselves. - AcW Orleans
Ricayunc.
I He-Won't you come canoeing with
me, Miss beacon? Sne-O, 1 don i
dare to! Hc--Whr, it's all right ii
YOU sit perfectly still. She know
i it; but w.eres the fun?-Hatuurd
1 Latnlpoon.
My dear young friend, exclaimed
the gooq man. soienntN, '.dn You at
tend chureu fegn.ariy?'' Yes, slr,
bul | ulun'; 80 to-day. Shes vl,itin :,
friends out o. town, You know. '-.Nttt-
,scapo,ts Ifebtn
Housewife Your impulcnce anlazes
me. | infer, by Your nose, that--.
Ifamp-Ah, madam. you do me u
great wrong. l do not drink. My
nose il Simply a blush absorber. De-
troi Free iress.
The Armenian authorities deny that
band Of Kurds broke up wedding
at Mouch lately by boiling the bride.
The Kurds soured on the groom, but
didn't put the bride ia tae soup
Padta,lelthtt Letger.
Widow Sldeye Good gracious,
Look al this lot. It is truly said weeds
grow without planting. Widow Glad
eye-l beg Your pardon. My weeds
did no: come till my first husband was
planted. 1p,e,l Topics.
Some one SAYS that Il woman should
never allow i man - propose marriage
10 her unless she is willing to become
lis wife. Some people would deprive
the women in this world Of all their
fun. - S0nlc,giIe Journal.
.'Did | ever say all that?' he asked
despondently as she replaced the phon-
ograph on tho corner Of the mantel-
piece. "YoA did" And yoy can
grind it out Of that machine When
ever you choosc?" Certainly. And
your father is a lawycf?' Yes
mabel, when can place the ring on