Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-11-14
FANFARE'S SACRIFICE.


Lord Fanfare was the fourteenth peer who
had borne that noble title There was moth
ing very remarkable about Lord Fanfare; he
was an easy going old boy. don't think
that at any period Of his career he would ever
have set the Thames on fire if he had tried;
but am very, very certain that he never did
try. The Fanfares were not rich family;
they had been courtiers for generations, and
don't think they got much out of it, Old
Fanfare himself when he only held the com
plimentary title of Lord Tootle, had been a
royal page and had commenced life as a
courtier then he went into the guards; and
then he did the wisest thing he ever did in his
life. be bolted with the daughter Of the late
proprietor of the Methuselah pill, and be
came into a hundred thousand pounds and
the business. Then young Lord Tootle sold
out of the guards. and settled down at the
age of 81, getting much fun as possible out
of his wifes fortune and the Methuselah pill
Lord Fanfare was not unkind to his wife; at
first he was quite a pattern husband, but
gradually GOODNESS arose between them, for
poor Lady Fanfare failed to present him with
an heir.
At the end of ten years, however, the little
Lord Tootle was born and at his birth his
mother died, and from that time forward
Lord Fanfare devoted himself 10 the rearing
and education of little Lord Tootle Many
were the traps set for that willy old bird,
Lord Fanfare Mothers cringed to him,
daughters smiled at him, widows ogled him,
musical girls played at him, vocal girls
squalled at him; but all in vain. Lord Fan
fare wasn't a marrying man, and the ladies
had their labor for their pains. They resent
ed that, the dear creatures-of course they
did; and then they had their revenge. 1t was
Lady Kitty Candour who set it going.
mean that it was Lady Kitty who first start
ed the rumor of Lord Fanfare's wickedness.
you've only got to look at him." people
said land you'll see that it's true at a glance.
Why, he dyes his hair and he wears chin
tuft-all very wicked old men dye their hair
and wear chin tufts. He goes to Tattersall's
regularly, he's very thick with theatrical
people, he's a member of the Pandemonium
club, and, to crown his iniquity, he's direc-
tor of music hall company"
"Why does he dress as il he were a tailor's
advertisement" said Lady Drumthwackit
whose penniless daughter Hilda had tried
very hard indeed for the old gentleman and
had miserably failed.
"And he paints, ma, know he does, p" cried
the artless Hilda, ''or how could he have the
complexion Of youth of 1877
HE has awondsrful complexion, replied
her mother, "but be needn't have Dragged OF
it to ali the world"
Now, the fact was that Lord Fanfare kept
his connection with the Methuselah pill very
dark indeed; but he had wonderful com
s1l-o IL,
to do stroke of bus ness at the same time
he had allowed the omnibuses TO literally
briSle with his portrait, beneath which was
the following ridiculous advertisement:
81 am Is today. and yet, thanks to the Me-
thuselah pill, my complexion is that of a boy
of 17.-Fanfare."
You can't doubt the word of peer of th'
realm, you know, and the sale of the Methu
selah pill was vastly increased.
The fact is that Lord Fanfare wore a chi1
tuft simply because chin tufts were in fash
ion when he was a young bachelor in tn,
guards; he went to Tattersall's simply be
cause he'd gone to Tattersalls all his life; h
was director ofsap music hall company be
cause he was a large shareholder, and becaus
be liked the little directorial suppers and be
cause in music hall matters he was a very
knowing Ola boy indeed
Lord Fanfare and his friend and co-direct
or, Mr. David Psalmanezar, were sitting il
the directors box at the International Pal
ace of Varieties, each with Brobdingnagial
opera glass in his hand and they were star
ing intently at the stage, upon which tn
three talented sisters, Laura, Cora and Dor;
Flarer, were going through their well know
entertainments
They're dirt cheap at hundred week,
remarked Mr. David Psalmanezar. why
half the chappies in town are over head AM
ears in love with them, and they have t
drink unlimited whistles and sodas -ou
Whistles and sodns," he added, with laug
Ito drown their SORROWS; and there amt
doubt" said Psalmanezar, who was vulga
man, with a chuckle, that they're Summers
and that Laura's the stunningest Of the three
but l don't think i should care for her as
daughter-i n-law." continued MIR. Psalmar
ear.
NO, think / should draw the line there,
remarked his lordship.
Then why on earth don't you stop itsn re
piled Mr.. Psalmanezar.
''Stop itr' cried his lordship. Stop what
You've always been a good pal to me
Fanfare remarked Psaimanezar; Its n
business of mine, but they do say, Fanfare
my boy, that Spindles is going TO marry her.
Now, Spindles was nickname that ha
been bestowed upon young George Blowhard
commonly called Lord Tootle as the newspa
pers say; his fellow chappies called bin
Spindles behind his back and TO his face, be
cause MS principal characteristic was q pal
of very thin, long legs.
Don't chaif, said his lordship, angrily.
I'm not chatting" replied his friend an
co-director; that's the talk here. and | be
ieve lisa straight tip, Old man"
I'm immensely obleeged TO you, I'm sure,
said his lordship. He was an old f.Shione