The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-03-21
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHS.


Florida alligator hunters say that
the saurians will be looked upon as
curiosities ten years hence.
Man seldom amounts to much until
he gets married. And very often his
usefulness fails to materialize them
Baltimore american.
Jarvis How true the proverb is
that a man is what his wife makes
him. Jervis-"And how true it is,
too, that man does what his wife
makes him. ."-Terre Haute Express.
Husband (severely)-''What! more
money? Suppose l was dead-you
would have to beg for your cash"
Wife (calmly)-"It wouldn't be as
though l had never had any practice,
sir. - Chicago Globe.
Freshly (rising to go)-"Pm sorry
to break up your hand at whist, Miss
Rosalie, but really l can't stay any
later Miss Rosalie-s'0, never mind,
Mr.. Freshly; I'm sure we shall get on
with dummy just as well. "-Roston
Post
AT public dinner DISTINGUISHED
statesman was placed between Madame
de Stael and Madame Recamier. ''How
lucky I am" said he; 'here am I
seated between wit and beauty" ''And
without possessing either one or the
other" observed Madame de Stael.
Slavery times were recalled in
Wilmington, N. c., the other day, when
two darkies goti loud dispute and
almost came to blows, quarrelling in
regard to the social standing and per-
sonal accomplishments of the men that
owned them before the war.
Nothing better reveals the unsel-
fishness of clairyoyants than the fact
that for paltry dollar they will re-
veal to others the lottery ticket that
will draw the capital prize instead Of
keeping the valuable information to
themselves and protting by it.-De-
trott Free Press.
why do you call the photograph
'she?'" asked the horse editor of the
snake editor, who had used the fem-
inine pronoun in speaking of that in
vention. ''For two reasons. First, it
talks back; second, it always has tho
last word. Pittsburgh Chronicle.
Wife CRITICALLY il)-''What does
the doctor say, George?" Husband
THAT you are very, very i'll. dear. "
Wife CATER short pause)-"I / should
not get well, George, give my sealskin
sacque to your sister. I'll just let her
see it's real. She has more than once
insinuated that it's only plush. =
Epoch.
He was determined to go out at
the end of every act. Three acts had
been played, and three times had he
scraped by and trodden on the feet oI
his neighbors. At the end of the fourth
act, as he went crashing through the
narrow space, a lady in the aisle seal
said, in her most dulcet tones: ''Sir,
l trust do not incommode you by sit
ting herer'-M 7. NetUs.
The newest thing in wedding tours
is called the Secret Honeymoon,
neither bride nor groom having any
idea where they are going. The ides
is not new. For years many young
people have married without having
any idea where they were going OF
how they were going to get there wher
they did know. They didn't have
enough money to go to housekeeping
-Norrist0Wp Herald.
Judge --'Why did you attempt t.
throttle your friend, hereP" Prisoner
HE called me a liar" Judge
''What caused him to address that op
probrious epithet to you?n Prisons
81 was telling him that my grand
father is still living at the age Of 107
and" Judge" THAT certainl.
offered him no excuse:" Prisoner
,, was telling him that my grandfathel
is still living at the age of 107, anC
-" Judge-''That certainly offered
him no excuse" Prisoner-'I wen
: on to say that my aged relative doesn'
retain his hearing, can't read withou
the aid of glasses and is not in tn
habit of walking ten miles or saving
three cords of wood before breakfast.
Judge--''Then you are liar The