The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-06-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

apparent ingenuousness is frequently
genuine ingeniousness.
$50 you are jail-bird, eha What did
did they put you in forG" "Robin."
1t is when the Young Idea first begins
to shoot that little learning is danger
Gus thing.
Although baseball is termed the noble
game, third of the men engaged in each
nine are basemen. Graphic.
1t is a wise child that goes out of the
room to laugh when the old man mashes
his thumb.-7erro Haute Erpress.
Customer-"Say, waiter, this shad
tastes very fishy." Waiter-"Yes, sab;
shads is fish, sab. Philadelphia Record.
l cannot sing the old songs
As have been requested;
When last tried to warble them
The Mayor had me arrested.
Nebraska State Journal
~ wasn't exactly mad about it., said
Slithersby, discussing his election from
a theatre, "but was somewhat put out.
-Hdyper'S Bdsar.
''Why do they call them spar buoysl"
she asked the purser. co." said he, 81
suppose because they are always fighting
the waves. % ocean.
"Alack, ;" he said, ''here is a bill.
But where's the cash with which TO pay il?
"Alacb, he said again, forsooth,
1t was lack that made him say 1t.
Merchant IrdUeler.
Fond Mother-s'You must remember,
Emeline, that fine feathers don't make a
fine bird" Daughter-"True, mamma,
but they do make awfully pretty hats. "
Time.
Scene: A lonely spot on dark night.
"Would the gentleman be so kind as to
assist poor manq Beside this revolver, |
have nothing in this wide world. '-Bostce
Gdzette.
Rose Cat the cafe)-"Let's see. We've
ordered Irish potatoes, haven't WEI What
can we have to match theml" Emily
"Ah, yes! Waiter, a pat of butter,
please"
Amateur Hubert-''Me lud, five moons
were seen tonight, four fixed and the
other did whirl." Muffled voice from the
audience" Did jever-hic-try bro
mide9"- Pitts6urg Dispatch.
A gallant young man, under festal
circumstances, referred to one member of
the sex he eulogized as "a deleotable dear,
so sweet that honey would blush in her
presence, and treacle stand appalled,"
You'll find it true if you'll observe,
Although the finding out may pain ye,
'Tis sometimes hard to draw the line
'Twixt larceny and kleptomania.
Merchant Traveller.
uNIy dear, was that hymn you were
singing to Lord Fitz dc Grey last night9"
asked the fond father ON Monday morn
ing. "Oh, yes, papa; it was when l
Can Read My Title Clear "-Ne'o York
Sun.
Mr. jess Wadde TO his bride) e)-"Please
pass me the sugar, sweetnessW Uooks
up in some confusion as the waitress
hands him the sugar bowl with unusual
alacrity Suppressed laughter from the
other boarders) .-JUdgo.
A Western college has a school for
journalism in it. 'John, kill that editorial
ON The Whatness of the Where, and cut
down "A Lunar Myth, so that we can give
half a column to 'the Ksthetics of Canine
Contests. Merchant TraUeler.
Papa (that is to be)-"You make a
draft of your plans after marriage, George,
and submit it to me-" George thought
I'd leave that to your generosity, sir.
About fifty thousand will do, though.
III draw when we get to Paris. - Chicago
Journal.
A man fell overheard near Havana, and
lawyer jumped into the water TO rescue
him just as a shark started TO seize the
poor fellow. The shark reached the man
first and swallowed him, but the lawyer
was the quicker, for he succededed in
getting the mans boots and pocketbook
before he disappeared from slightly Z.
| Mercury.
The Cuban soldiers and bandits vie
with each other in deeds of atrocity. Al
Guantanamo, while looking for hdnap-
pers, the authorities butchered nine per
| SONS