Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-10-31
THE NATIONAL FLOWER.
Bob Burdette Casts His Vote In Favor OF
the Humble Plantain.

Bob Burdette Casts His Vote In Favor OF
the Humble PIantain.
/ am going to record my vote tof
the National flower, and I am not 60
ing to pay Messrs. Whang & Co. twen-
ty-five cents for the privilege either.
Talk about corruption in our National
elections. there has been more money
spent in this flower campaign, right at
the polls, and openly, too. than would
elect councilman. Fellow citizens,
Indians not taxed, Cinnamon and
women, l give my hand and my
vote to the humble and obtru-
sive plantain. She needs no en-
~comium from me. There she stands,
or rather squats. Where? Right
there, right where you are looking at
this minute if there is spot OF ground
six inches square within half a mile
of you. In the velvet lawn that cost
you four dollars a square foot; IN the
pansy bed; in the tub wherein grows
the accursed oleander. breaker OF hui
man backs; in the garden OF roses; IN
the toothsone bed where the south
wind loiters amid the loud breathed
onion, stealing and giving odor;
wherever you have planted any thing;
wherever you haven't; on the hill
sides Of New England, on the
bleak and rocky coast of Maine,
in the orange groves OF Florida,
ON the great alkali deserts Of the wild
and woolly West. where Shasta's hoary
head lifts itself to the clouds, crowned
with eternal grandeur, and where the
gibbering tourist cackles and chatters
through the glories of Mount Wash
ington; wherever the foot of man has
trod, and everywhere that it hasn't,
there springs this radiant weed OF
hope. eternal on the mundane breast;
there strikes its ell long root.
this herb of truth, though ofttimes
crushed to earth, rising again
stronger than ever, and spreading
itself over the adjacent grass, like a
true born American hogging four
seats in railway car. Oh, citizens.
! do bespeak your most sweet
voices for the plantain. 1t knows
no East, no South, no North, no West;
1t has no sectional prejudices, no
local pride or Limitations; just wher-
ever the soil is fertile or barren il
laws hold on life; it comes to stay, ii
gets there, Eli. Where nothing else
will grow it fiourishes like the grass
hopper; where smartweed perishes
because it has no root the plantain
makes crop. A few short weeks in
slushy spring the Mayhower hides its
pretty bloom in mountain slopes and
eastern hills, transient guest Of
local fame and briefest life. Wher
autumn filings her gorgeous ban
nsrs to the skies, the golden.
rod, for few passing weeks,
makes radiant the meadow, glen
and hill, and then departs to hide
away the year; but thou. oh! plantain
of the sandy craw, thou hast the grip
thou art slayer, thou; thou art 6
iaster from Wayback; thou art the
first to,come, the last to go. Thee
the all beholding sun upon his annua
farewell tour sees all the time, max
ing glad the door yard of the poor
and playing merry Cain upon the rict
mans lawn. Thou thrivest upon per
secution; thou turnest not back from
them for the grasshook, and sayes
among the lawn mover. ha, ha! Tn,
rains nourish thee; the sun-burneC
drought maketh thee strong; a blacl
frost tingeth thy leaves with luste
life and six foot freeze that kills tn,
-cast-iron hitching posts is pie for thu
plantain. 1t is American clear
through. this fresh and cheeky weed
It has an imported manipulating
inacen, and is proud OF it, as an,
American when she has invented
coat of arms and married an ances
tor That is its family name; III
plantain which claims the honor c
being the national flower has nam
as purely American as the continen
itself-Plantago major. Long liv
the major!. Forever float that stand
ard weed, where-Eh? What's that
lit isn't an American plant at all;
is found all over the inhabited an
aninhabited worl6?" Well. Jeemse
River! Isn't that American? Ris
rup, major, you are elected. --Robe
j. Burdette, in Brooklyn Eagle.