The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-04-05
BRIGHT BITS.

| BoARDER Cracking an eggj-Well, declare
| water teXcitedly What is it,
Boarder-Why, this egg mas a double yelk.
| WATERPROOF t. a. s notnia'-gen lman's yis-
| tldday had a chicken detroit Free Press.
| DAsHAwAY TO PRETTYMAN who is in evening
| dress)-By love, oil man. how well you're look
| ing Tonight What a difference dress suit
does MAKE in mans appearance. Why, even
the most commonplace, homely man would
| look well in one,-I1te CI0thier.
BusINEss-MAN (deiectedly)-M dear, 1 mort
gagged this house to-day.
Mortgaged-O! How muchg
Five Thousand dollars"
ism I that grand: Now you get me that
| diamond necklace - PHILADELPHIA Record.
NEW YoRKER-I congratulate you on the
latest acquisition to your family. Boy or girl?
Nebraskan--Girl.
New Yorker-Whats ner name to be?
Nebraskan-Well, she bowls so much nights,
we thought we'd call her Cyclonia.-EDoch
HE-Do you know Miss Bessie, your father
reminds me of the Car of Russia?
She-Indeed Mr.. Wits?
He--Yes, but with this difference: The car
has all the power in his hands, while your father
seems to have it mostly in his feet.-DetTOtt
Free p ess.
WORLD OF WoNDERs.-G overness-T
name the Seven wonders OF the world.
Tommy-The pyramids, the sphinx, another
sphinx, the gardens where they hanged in Baby
lon, my sis er's beau hash and myself.
The punishment that followed was another
wonder to Tommy. Time.
QUITE a ScHEME.-Mrs. BlOodgood-You had
sons remarkably pretty waters at your recep-
zion. They must have cost you good round
sum.
urs. Parvenu-O, no, let it be understood
that the most young and attractive women IN
town were to preside at the table. and | had
more applications for voluntary service than
could accept.-BuJ tiHgtgn Free Press.
Mas. FRoNTPEw-I think it is shocking-the
interest our minister is taking ia base ball.
Why, saw him out playing yesterday after
noon with a lot OF boys from the college.
Mr. F.-Oh, don't know tnat there is any
thing wrong about base ball.
Mrs. FL don't say that it is really immoral,
nut by and by he'll get a curve pitch, as they
call it, and either leave the pulpit or want
$4,000 year.-ChtcuqO Herald.
WHY SHE WAS INTEREsTED-Sweet-f faced
Young Wonan-Gour paper yesterday con
tained an account of the flOgging into insensi-
bility of prisoner. Have yol received any
more particulars!
ElitCr-Ol, yes. Owing to the strong protest
made the poor fellow IS IN the hospital and
receiving the best OF care.
Young WomAn-Oh, | don't care about the
prisoner am member of the 5. z. c. A, and
I want to know what became of the cat-the
az - '-"~ hipped with, you know.-Terre
Hdute Express
Two STRANGERS were talking on the cars. and
one was portrait painter. After some time
the other inquired the painters business.
Il am an artist he replied, modestly.
'Ab, said the other, what do you draw"
Faces"
And I am an artist" continued the other.
"Au," exclaimed the painter with a smile
Of interest, land pray, may | ask, what do you
draw"
Teeth. said the other; 81 am a dentist"
Then tSe artis- got up and left the seat
Washington Critic.
Mr. PRESIDENT" observed Col. Halford to
Mr.. Harrison this morning, have you tried the
new puZzle:'
What puzzle, Elijahg' inquired the Presi-
dent, gently.
Putting the pigs in the PEN Mr.. Presi.
dent"
shade came over the Presidents face.
mo, Elijah he said YEARLY; Il have been so
busy trying to keep the hogs out Of Office that
haven't had time for any other puzzle And
the President picked up pile of applications
and muttered a mutter too deep to be articu-
late Washington Critic.