The Opelousas courier., 1889-03-30
HOUSEHOLD. RECIPES.
How to Convert q GrumbliDg Husband
Into a Reliable Individual.

ITO" 60 COnVeFG u OEuuupkAuS EHu5U2NO
Into q Reliable individual.
VIII lie showing the poor but am
bilious housewives of the country how
to exercise their ) marvellous finesse on
boxes and barreat, on salt mackerel
and beets, on blight, cheap pictures
and calico hangings in such a fashion
as to render their homes thu, envy of
the rich but unsesthetic, we have by
no means forgotten that n OF the
greatest comforts and one of the crown
ing evidences of housewifely skill is a
reliable and respectful husband; and
we now take pleasure in showing how
cheaply and still with what taste
full effect this destderatum may be
achieved.
Take a common rail off the fence. It
need not be heavy, but should be tri-
angular in section. To one end tie a
ribbon in a graceful knot; a bunch of
forget-me-nots at the other end will
have a neat and appropriate appear
ance. Now call in some of your neigh
bors to assist you. Do not fear q re-
fusal; there is much more neighborly
kindness in these emergencies than
may be supposed. Rely on your neigh
bors. Invite them in. Ask some of
the gentlemen to step forward, and
| place a number OF them at each end of
the rail. Direct them to lift on the
rail. giving it a graceful wave motion.
As a mark of renSect, appoint your
| husband master of ceremonies, and
! give him a seat on the rail. The pro-
| cession will then move of, ard all join
in the triumph. The local talent may
be aattered by asking them to recite
| the lines:
| Aloft in awful state the god-like victor safe.
Guests, and especially those carrying
| the rail, should be instructed to pay
no heed to the polite, but merely for
NAL invitations of the host to take a
| rest. A coat of tar and feathers will
prevent your partner from taking cold
| by his rapid movement through the
| air.
A second form Of the rail method is
said to be fully as good as the first.
Follow the directioas below, and you
will find that you have a genuine home
luxury, and at a trifing expense.
Secure your rail, a heavy one. At
tach to, one end a large chain, and at
tach the chain to the leg of the hus-
band. This should be done while he
is asleep. When he awakes, retire to
a little distance until his struggles are
| somewhat moderated. Tt is one of the
| possibilities of this plan that the hus-
| band may be reduced in flesh and spir-
it, making him more ethereal. If this
effect is observed, approach him at
once, with kind WORDS, and tighten the
| chain.
The chain and rail combined will
keep him from visiting the dram shop;
and as he will then be always at home
around the evening freside, the loose
end of the rail may be utilized to tuck
into the fire. There is always a re-
| deeming grace about the worst men;
and bad as you may think your hus-
band, and as much worse as he really
is, you may trust him not to let the
rail burn too far. Watching the rate
of progress will keep his mind EN-.
ployed, and will furnish him a profit
able and Inexpensive advertisements r
the long winter evenings.
"a little attention to these rules viii
result in turning what is usually an
Objectionable feature of the country
hous ehold into something which il
almost presentable; and We do moi
hesitate TO say that after a woman has
learned to make the transmutation.
she can easily secure q position al
alchemist In the Arabian Nights
Williston Fish. in Puck