The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-05-25
MR.. AND mrs. eowsER.
II +, Sot Every Man Who Can Put Up
Door Screen.

=, 4. Not Every Man who Can Put Up "a
Door Screen.
Tho other morning asked Mr.. Bovser II he
wouldn't send up carpenter TO hang tho
screen door TO the Kitchen. and, after mo
ments thought he replied;
I'm in no hurry this morning ana Il hhnS
il myself. go.
kn3H.'
well. what Of iti"
"Can YOU YOU
"Ifl can't / want to bc Knocked on the
bead for an IDIOT I've put on moro door ana
gate springs than you've got hairs III your
head"
Hc cot the door down from tho loft, and
after running up and down and backwards
and forwards for half an hour his assortment
Of tools consisted Of TWO saws, an auSur' a
brace and bit, plane, screw driver ana
screws. a square, compass, inter box ana
tape line.
Does it require all those tools to hang
screen door" qucriel.
ut may and it may not, be replied
"Can assist you in any wayf
"Can YOU assist mel Mrs BOwser, you
talk as if YOU didn't regard me as half baked,
When | want your valuable assistance III
send YOU word on postal cardi'
| retired in gooi order aud remained out oi
sirht twenty minutes When returned be
had tho door on and seemed very well salts
fed.
"YouTl have to make a slight change in
that, MIR Bowser."
"Ilowr
you've hung it top to bottom"
81 have. chi I'll bet you 100000 TO Il
cent haven't"
well. look at tho knob and tho catch aud
moiings on the panels.
flo was fairly beaten, and he realized Il,
Iu, insierl Of acknowledging the corn he
looked mt it for moment aud then quietly
said:
II slipped it on that way to 500 If YOU
would notice IT, but you'd have let 1t pass II
hadn't called your attention to it"
in the courseof half an hour he made tho
change and was putting on tho spring when
[ came back. 10 bad neycr put u spring on
door in his life. and IL would not have de
tractel from his dignity 70 ask my advice,
bu, no would hayo died lrst. IL measured
for it and began To- bore hole for tie screen.
After he had worked for two or three min-
ufcs asked
Mr.. Rowscr, which way are you turning
that gmletN
what do you meanr be demanded, as he
stopped work.
you have been turning to the left"
"Of course | hayel Whoever heard Of
turning a boring tool any other way"
Il have. You may work all day that
way ami not accomplish anything. that
ginllct and al other ginlets turn 10 the
right"
Tho do. chl What smart wife havel
You had better deliver series of lectures ON
mechanism
"Will you turn 60 the rishtf
NO, ma'amr
He bored aud bored, determined not to
give in, ari at length pushed him aside,
ard turned tho emiei to the right and had
il into the wool IN no time.
Didn't ! tell you SD. Mr.. BowserF
"Wcn. tho man who made that gimst de-
serves state prison. lis the FIRST one | ever
saw that turned 70 tho right, and had seen
millions Of them before you were born"
"Can sou put the spring on aioncH
MRS. B0rscr.n he answered, after giaring
AZ TIC in a chilled steel way for half a min-
ute, perhaps / ought 70 b. in the idiot asy-
lum. and perhaps go know enough to como
i'm when IL rains. You will obligc mo very
much b. going into the house and knocking
that sQua,iinS young 'un on the head.
II was bali an hour before dared make
an excuse to get out again. by that time
Mr. Bowscr had the spring on, but the door
stood open instead Of shut llo was standing
in q deep study
II know what ails it, Mr Bowsern
"Il0w shrcwdr
when you frightened the spring up you
turned it to the right That throws rho door
open. II you'll tighten TO the left, tho door
Will spring shut"
Tie sat down on the steps and looked az inc
with twelve different shades If irony and sar-
casn in his expression, AMI finally deignel to
reply;
"Where dill you learn all yon known
"Wnl you fix that spring as tell YOU"
40. ma'am, won't I've been looking it
over. and know wi.cro the trouble is itsa
spring for left hand door. / SHOULD have
seen it at tho outset II you hadn't been both
ering around
II can make that spring work on this door"
Mrs. Eowscr, wouldn't have your CON
ceit for no money. No wonder you hayen'ta
single friend in this ncighborhood."
Il hayo all want, and can fix thatspring
in two minutes"
"Ncyerl You simply want an opportunity
to break it. You'd tear the whole kitchen
down for the sake Of carrying your point.
Go ia and maui that bowling baby some
more"
grabbed the wrench from his hands, loos-
cacd Tie spring and then turned it the other
way, and 'ol the door shut and was held stif
in its place, rs was designed.
'Thercl Mr. Bowser%
There whatm
"rhc spring shuts the door"
Il don't SO IT,"
"3nt look Did you ever SEQ door work
mcerP
~. doesn't work at all"
"But secl'
IL SEQ 2 ruiacd door, just as / expected 10
SEE, and now must get an entire new screcni
Mrs. Bowscr, have horne from yoa until tho
limit is about reached. Don't provoke mo 10
desperation. Husbands rendered desperate
By persistent and malicious nagging have
been known to arise at midnightand wipe out
the whole family ln-Detroit Free Press.
Keeping Him Posted.
lSEcIIN b.
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