, 1889-09-28
A WALKING ExposruLAr1oN.

won't you put me on?' This from
me, anxious for information regarding a
new feature of character reading.
"Why, certainly; it's no secret. Take,
for instance, the newly married young
husband as the easiest example. His
lunch is the simplest. l can always To-
cate him from the nervous way in which
he adds And wife to his lame. even if
his bushes didn't disclose his newness in
the role of benedict. But it won't do to
let him know you are dead onto him
Oh, mol Instead of that l lead him to
believe that l am laboring under a delu-
sion that he's the father of a large and
constantly increasing family. That style
of treatment just tickles him nearly to
death. And don't say n word about
the bridal chamber, but he gets it just
the same.
Zone of the oldest characters we have
to deal with is the choleric old gentle
man who. won't register until he knows
just where his room is, how it fronts and
where the fire escape is; how much we're
going to charge him per diem, and if the
bed has been aired. A kicker? Why,
he's a walking e~xpostulation. Yet that
type of man usually ends by taking the
very best in the house and paying his
bill without a murmur. There are lots
worse thar he If you only work him
right.
"There is the man, too, who, before he
registers, looks all over the names and
addresses on the register for a week
back, and yet never seems to know a
soul in the house. 1 generally assign
him n cham room and ~ ha rate owau
without paying it's not our fault. AS
for the travelling nan and the theatrical
advance agent, it's no trick to pipe them
off. The 12-year-old bell boys can do
that before they get into the door. But
there are different species of those classes,
and it requires an expert to decide in adj
vance just what they want. Generally
l gauge them by the size of their sigma
lures, on the basis that the larger the
signature the smaller the room.
SOME QUEER CHARACTERS.
Gas a rule the man with the megath-
erian autograph is generous only with
writing ink. Again, I find that the
more airs a man puts on before the hotel
register the more apt he Is to be satisfied
with a roof parlor and one towel.
"Once in a while we have a queerer
character even than usual to deal with.
Only yesterday a fine looking man, whom
/ afterward found to be a distinguished
scientist, couldn't for the life of him
think of his own name when he came to
sign it or the register. The general run
of queer customers comes from the agri-
cultural districts. A big city hotel is a
revelation md a terror to him. Every
thing in and about a first class ravan
sary surprises and scares him-every-
thing except the dining room-there he
is very much, too much, at home. Even
the first act of singing the register is a
serious, an awful thing to him. To him
the signing of his name, besides being an
act of mental and physical difficulty, is,
In his mind, ever connected with judg-
ment notes, mortgages, lawsuits and
foreclosures.
"The meekest and easiest to satisfy of
all whom a hotel clerk meets is the
typical western cowboy. The tougher
he is on the plains the meeker he is here.
Themuzzle of loaded Colt placed against
his temple wouldn't make him turn half
so pale as the sight of pen and ink thrust
toward him. He is out of his element
then and he appreciates it without the
slightest effort at disguise. CHARLES
Lederer in Chicago Herald.
Pernicious Coca
Coca is the dried leaf of a South Amer