Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-09-27
FOLLY AS II FLIES.

CosrrEUED at the old stand-tho
bslky horse.
CAPITAL is timid, which accounts for
its scarcity.
TIE air Of the desert-aThe cameIs
are coming.
In doesn't seem possible that Gen.
Crook can be straight in ms dealings
with the Indians.
JOHN L. SULLIVAN is the champion
ring fighter; and there is no bottle
holder equal to him either.
TIE skeleton of the "Dime Museum
is like Napoleon at Waterloo. He is
the bOny part Of the show.
MAMMA, if You had three twins, what
ROuld you call them - trOuble5s 2"
sYes, dear, think would"
DIFFERENCE between a ship and
street sprinkler-One walks the water
and the other waters the walk.
WHAT VIII you call your new ioun
nal 20 SIhe Post" Wherefore the
PO8t?" $50 the public can tie to it..
JONES blowing a cloud of smoke
into the air)-I am very fond of a good
| cigar. Mrs. Jones-Then for gracious
sakes get one.
@MRs. SCRAGGs, hand me the butter,
/ please" "Mr. Darringer, it's exhaus-
! ted. !" "Why You surprise me ? Thought
+ it was strong enough to last a long
/ 7hile"
MAUD-so you are going to marry.
! your fathers cashier? be1Ia-Yes
! Pa says that if he runs away with the
banks's funds, the money VIII still be
in the family.
hRs. FIGG-John, there's a long red
hair on your shoulder. And your
sleeve is ripped, too. Mr.. Figg-Yes.i
/ I put the hair on there myself so you'd
notice the ripped place.
"JOHN, this is a very bad report you
/ bring me from school" Il know, faith
er, but you know you said If would
bring you first-class report, you would
! give me dollar. and / wanted to save
! you that expense"
as THERE anything I can do for you %
! asked Mrs. Cumso, tenderiy, when her
! husband was suffering from seasick-
ness. What do you want ?" "Iwant
! the earth, gasped CumsO, as he again
/ leaned over the rail.
ROYALTY MORALIZEs.
! Ills said his Nobs, the Prince Of Wales
Went up the EiffeI Tower,
And at the top he mOralized
! (Or so we think)-On power.
ALAS !" he said, and his remark
mine is the highness Of a mite;
! But this is mighty highness."
philadelphia Press.
chad a row over at your house last
! night, didn't you, old man?" "Oh no;
not at all. Why do you ask ?" Thought
! I heard a commotion." "Ah, / see.e
You heard my wife inquiring why T
came home so late. That was all, I
assure you.
HUsBAND-What does the paper say
about the big fire of last night Wife
/ reading the morning paper)-It says
the boiler burst, and then the scene
that followed baffied description. Hus-
band-Is that all? Wife-NO; two
columns of description follow that.
OLD schooImate meets Thompson,
whom he has not seen for several years.
Old friend-By the way, old man, how
did your scheme Of marrying so you
could have someone to talk TO pan
out ? ThompsOn-Not so well. You
see that's what she married for too.
INvIDIOUs: Mendicant (entering
merchants Ofice)-YOu haven't got
such thing as a pair of old trowsers
have you?" Mr.. Closeshave-No; L
don't keep my wardrobe In my count
III -l4OUSG5 all nov 4A6uOl4Cd-J- w mere
do Won live. and I'll call around In the
morning for the old pair you have on.
HUsBAND-SO that rumor about Miss
GiddygirPs clipping with young Fether-
down, is false. They are to be married
within a month. Wife in consternat iOn)
Is that so g? too bad; I suppose we
shall have to give Miss Giddygirl q
wedding present, now she gave us one,
/ H-so = |zy
rumOr?