The morning news., 1889-03-16
How Mr.. White Settled


From the NelO 1Ork sun
After explaining that his son John was
threatened with breach of promise suit,
aud the girl in the case lived only half
mile away and was willing to be talked to,
the old man asked me to go over with him
and witness his efforts to effect settlement.
We found the girl at home, also her father
and mother. They were all shelling corn i'll
the kitchen, and Betty, as the girl was
named, looked anything but broken hearted.
She was % years old, weighed 100 pounds,
and was inclined to sentiment. After
greetings and general Introduction. my
friend, whose name was jeremiah White,
led off with:
''Now then, thar hain't no use in chasing
rabbits all over the woods to find one in a
trap Betty, you and John hev busted up,
''Yaas. but it hain't my fault" she re-
piled.
mo, indeed" added the mother. "He
busted of his own Accord
Reckon he did," put in BeUty's father,
as he laid down half-shelled ear to light
his pipe.
"When folks is courtin' they often bust
up," observed Jerry as he got comfort
aDly seated. ''They git jealous They git
Mebbe one has bac breath"
''Yaas, Jerry, I'm follerin' ye," said Bet
ty's father.
"And when they bust up the best way is
to be sensible. John don't want no row
with Betty. and Betty don't want no row
with John"
mo more don't" murmured tine fair
one.
John isn't fitten for you, Bet. He's all
for news, and whisky, and tobacco,
and fighting; and you is all for poetry, and
stars, and clouds, and flowers. You is too
high-souled for john"
"Shuck my hide if that hain't SOL" ex-
claimed Betty's father, as he whacked the
edge of the tub with q big ear of corn.
Betty simpered and giggled, and the
mother looked pleased.
"That's why you busted, softly explained
my friend. "Had to come Couldn't help
it. When one is too good for 'tother bust
always comes. Say, Betty, couldn't sleep
last night for thinking of that verse you
wrote for my old woman when she was
sick last year. I'll bet l repeated it over a
thousand times,
''Oh, la Mr.. Whiten giggled Betty.
"Yaas, it run in my head till L couldn't
sleep. kept saying:
"Old Mrs. White is very sick,
And mebbe she will die;
Although to save her from the grave
The doctors hard will try
"Ah, Betty, if l could write sich poetry
as that wouldn't be sloshing around here
no great while, and you kin iigger to that ~
of corn in either hand.
"Dead sure. And now, Betty, being as
you war too good for John, aud being as
you've busted up, Pm going to send you
over them two black hogs and six geese as a
present"
"Is it for her wounded feelinsg' asked
Betty's father.
kinder that way, and kinder because
SHE'S SO good"
"Bet's cried heap, and she's lost lots of
time, " put in the mother land you'd better
throw in that ar peacock"
"Durned if / don't, Hannerl He's the
incest bird in the country, and a peddler
offered me $40 for him, but chuck my hide
if l didn't throw him in?'
''Then l won't sue" said Betty.
mo, she won't, added the father.
"Then it's all settled befo' this gent. who
is the Witness" continued Mr.. White. "Im
glad ont. It's the proper way. When
folks love and bust up, as they sometimes
will, thar's proper way to settle damages.
We've settled. and I'll send the stuff right
over, and Bet will be free to make up to
that feller who is selling tanning mills up
at the corners, and who'll be down this way
tomorrow"