The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-04-03
PITH AND POINT.
capital skylight-The moon.

PlIH AND PUlNI.
Acapital skylight-The moon.
A cultivated ear-An ear of corn. q
Man is eighty per cent. water. That
is why boil makes him hot.
Raining cats and dogs is surely no
worse than hailing strangers.
A dentist refers to his collection of
extracted teeth as gum drops.
Before states were in use people multi
piled on the surface of the earth.
The London Times is not in the soup.
It is in an Irish stew Chicago Times.
Children cry for the moon, whom they
grow up they want the earth. .-Sytings.
A boy who stole a copper cent, ~
Is-as he should be-penny- tent.
-Merchdnt Trareler. "
Scotland was once called Pictland, but
the land worth having was picked long
ago.-sytings. -.. n
There is man in Chicago who be-
comes red.headed whenever he is angry.
He is entirely bald.-Nsu York Tribune.
A man is rarely found who kicks when
his name is misspelled in the police court.
reports. This is notable exception to-
the rule.
II believe the Albany boat leaves this;
pier, does it not2" "Leaves it every
trip, ma'am. Never knew it to take the,
dock up the river yet."-Judqs.
They have discovered chalk mount
ain in Montana, and we expect to see an
immediate Improvement in the complex
ions of the ladies.-Mew Y,rk Nea0s.
Oh, my love is like red, red rose
In the winter o the year; ~
And that, as every lover knows,
IS very, very dear. 9,
Life.
Senior Surgeon-"How's that case Of
heart trouble coming on9" Junior
Surgeon forgetting himself)-'It's al
settled, doctor; she accepted me this
morning."
Mrs. Tibbs-"Just think! that dia-
mond that Mrs. Jibbs wears used to be-
long to q hideous idol in Japan" Mrs.
snibbs-"Well, it hasn't improved its
setting much"
A young lady who aspired to fame as a.
musician went one day TO Rubinstein for
advice. She played for him and then
asked: "What shall I doa" sect mar
ried," was the reply. |
Augustus Doody Ito char bermaid)-
WAw0aw-I'm tired of boarding-aw.
Pm looking for fiat" Chambermaid-
Gan did ye have to lave home to fnd
wan:"--Ieras Sytings. -.
Old Lady-"Little boy, what would
your father do if he should find you
smokine?" Little Boy-"He'd (pufD
prob'ly lick me; this is pufD one O. his
cigars. ."-MsO Nrk Lsager.
Mr.. Gibbs (meeting his son late at.
night) t)-"Where are you going at this.
time of night, JohnG On no good
GRAND, I'll warrant" John "No, sir;
was going to look for you."-Lye.
"My writing isn't pretty, but it is
plain" apologized young woman whose
chirography had given the editor paresis
and general 6ilapidation. "Yes, yes,
she replied, ill-naturedly, 'it resembles
YOU"
A sunbeam so bright from the heavens did
And got lost on :ae earth-so the story;
books say. -
The refuge it sought can arouse no surprise
For snugly it rests in pretty girls eyes.
Merchant Traveller
"Sir," said she, edo you expect me, a.
saleslady at the dry goods emporium, to-
marry a common clerk?" 81 am not a.
common clerk he answered; ~ am.
salesgent." She fell into his arms and
murmured II am thine"
Alarmed Mother-"Why, my daugh..
ter, weeping! What's the matter!"'
Daughter (bride of a monthl-T--!il
have been shopping, Or trying to-"
Alarmed Mother-"Wcll" Daughter
81 find my husband has always paid cash
and hasn't any credit anywhere. ~
Anxious Mother" "Why, my dear,
in tcars What has happenedF Mar
ried Daughter--"I--I got angry at
Arthur this morning and said lot Of
of mean things, and then he said lot of
meaner ones and - and I couldn't think
of anything mean enough to say back, I
couldn'tn
Young Wife Gn bosrding-house to
husband -"See, George, 7 have washed
out couple of haudkerchiefs this morn.
ing and saved ten cents laundry"
George (enthusiastically)-"Iou are o
little treasure. I am going right out
now and buy an extra cigar. Economy
is wealth. ."-St. Paul Pioneer Press.
Policeman-"Come, young woman,
you must not loiter here after the
audience has dispersed" Young Woman
-"Please, sir, I have business here"
"Policeman-"Wcll, what's it," Young
Woman (blushingl--"T am the young
lady that's engaged to the automaton
chess player, and I am waiting for him
to take me home. ."-Am,rtcu.
"No thoroughly occupied man." saws
Landon. ''was ever yet very miserable"
If Landon had ever removed q tight
boot in church, lie would have felt about
as miserable as they make 'em, while he
was thoroughly occupied, about ten
minutes before bcuedict:oa, wondering
how he was ever going to get that boot
on again without Sitting it from preface
4o tno, - Norr;st0s1n HerHM