The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1889-03-02
The ARIZONA KICKER.
Gems From Late Issue of That En-
terprIsing Western Sheet.

| Gems From Latc Issue of That En-
terprIsing Western Sheet.
APoLoGETICAL.- are compelled
TO apologize to our subscribers for the
typographical appearance OF the pres.
ent issue. Owing to the snow block.
ade, u keg of ink which we ordered
weeks ago failed to reach lis, and rath.
or than miss an issue we compounded
substitute. We don't seem to have
hit the right proportions, or else mo,
lasses and lamp-black are not the
proper substitutes. AS it will be i'm
possible for subscribers to make out
any of the reading matter, we will
solace them with the statement that
there is little or nothing worth read
ing. We hadn't much time to give to
the paper last week, and it is just rs
well that we hadn't. 1t would hive
been time thrown away.
The USUAL REwARD.-We under
stand that Arizona Joe, Colonel Hill
ton, Dick Fenshaw and other ingrates
are going about with the statement that
we were horse-whipped by the Widow
Burnham one day last week. When
we refer to these hyenas as living liars,
we do so in all gentleness. We can't
afford to get mad and kick such freaks
of nature. Arizona Joe is wearing a
collar we lent him from our slim stock,
and if any one will rip the Colonels
coat down the back he will find one
of our understands surrounding the in
CRATES body. When Dick Fenshaw
struck this town he hadn't eaten any
thing but pig-weed for three days, and
he was trying to make pack OF cards
cover his nakedness, We filled his
stomach, gave him a coat and lifted
him out of the slough. This is our re.
ward. Sick transit! Sick gratitude!
Sick hyena!
WELCOME BACK.-Prof. Whitewater
entered the Kicker Office day before
yesterday with beaming smile and eX-
| tended hand after an absence of about
ten months spent in the penitentiary.
He was unfortunate enough, it will be
remembered, to hurt some one in lit
tie dispute at the Red Front Saloon,
and the court thought it best for him
to take little vacation. The professor
returns home looking in good health
and filled with enthusiasm over the
progress the town has made during his
absence, We welcome him. A little
State prison experience hasn't hurt
him, nor won't hurt any of our towns
men.
CAN BE OvERL LOOKED. few of our
citizens seem inclined to censure Major
| Whitbecl1, our chief of police, for being
drunk on the streets yesterday. We
don't believe that giving a man an of
flee should deprive him CT the rights
and privileges of citizen. If business
is slack and the major feels like going
on % spree the break can be overlooked
in community where half the eminent
citizens sleep on their front doorsteps
five nights out of seven. Those who
criticise seem to be actuated by spirit
of jealousy.
A FALSE ALARM.-When the stage
drove up the other evening the report
got abroad that one of the passengers
was Chicago detective, and some
forty or fifty of our leading citizens
broke for the country on n canter.
Most of them laid out all night, with
the thermometer standing at four de-
grees below. The following casualties
are reported:
Captain Johnson-Right foot frozen
so badly that amputation is talked of.
Judge Pelham Both ears frost bitten
and nose badly used up.
Prof. Sweeny-Broken leg, caused by
fall while running.
Major Adams-Ears, nose and seven
toes frost bitten, and his spine badly
wrenched.
Esquire Davis--Several frost bites, u
sprained ankle and the probable loss
of IL portion of his beautiful Roman
nose.-Detroit Free Press.