Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-24
BREACH OF PROMISE.
Things to be Thought of Before Young
People Become Engaged.
SOME CAUSES OF BROKEN VOWS
A Famous English EOvelist's Advice tt
Toung Lovers.
DANGER OF HAPHAzARD ENGAGEMENTS
rooHnrsroSDxxor OF THE D1sPArcB. J

tion for breach of promise Of marriage
against the faithless fance.
A more degraded feature of sordid imbe-
cility cannot we'll be imagined than the
scene presented at the trial of such q case,
where the claims for compensation in hard
cash, for wounded feeling, are supported by
| the reading aloud of mawkish letters teem-
ing with silly pet names and terms of en-
dearment amid the laughter of the listeners,
Such scenes are the result of certain in
defniteness in our social code which, If it
entails some inconvenience, at least leaves
us free from that grandmotherly legislation
which, while striving to provide for all pos
slble contingencies, only forges fetters for its
unfortunate subjects, cramping the muscles
which might otherwise enable them to''pad-
die their own canoes" successfully into
smooth waters.
Promises of marriage, therefore, of GER
tain class bristle with dangers neither few
nor far between; but with these we have no
concern.
The promises Of which we treat affect
persons to whom the law can give no relief,
and to whom publicity means purgatory.
Here, too, the difficulties are great for
though, in the eyes of all honorable men
and women, no promise can or ought to be
more sacred than a serious undertaking to
marry, so long as pair are not absolutely
''joined together in holy matrimony" just
and sufficient causes for breaking the pre-
liminary promise may arise.
SOME GOOD REASONS.
The discovery :of circumstances willfully
concealed on either side which may affect
character or fortune, double dealing, the
display of evil tempers, of seeming indiffer-
ence, or of any ingredient in nature or dis
position which would certainly initiate
against future happiness when the inextri-
cable knot is tied, ought between serious and
candid people to supply sufficient reasons
for breaking off an engagement.
OF course the heart of the seceder can
alone know, the sincerity of the motives
alleged. OF this, however, there can be no
doubt that many life might be saved from
all-pervading bitterness had one or other of
an engaged pair had the courage and high
principle to avow the doubts besetting him
or her.
Where one is obstinately attached and the
other keen to perceive defects and drawbacks
the suffering and difficulty are enormously
increased.
The fact is, however, that the more serious
and candid lovers are, the less chance there
ing influences. They do not rush in heed
lessly where angels might we'll fear to tread.
The most cruel cause of broken vows is
the variation OF human fancy or affection,
for this rarely arises through any fault on
the side of the forsaken one; and here at the
first quivering breath of preference for an
other, any good man or woman would crush.
out the intrusive, inconstant suggestion. :.
Though no easy task, an honest heart and
resolute will can trample down temptation
and keep unsullied faith toward him or her
to whom faith is due
The best preservative against broken
promises is deliberation in giving them and
rapidity in making them irrevocable by the
final marriage vows. So much can be en-
dured, so much is endurable, when we
know there is no way of escape, that the
''fast-and-loose" period of long engage
ment cannot be too earnestly
HAPHAzARD ENGAGEMENTS.
On the contrary, long acquaintance
previous to marriage is q great advantage;
familiarity with each others character,
tastes, family, circumstances (Which latter
never fail to color our lives), forms an ad-
mirable concrete on which to build the
foundations of married life, and the most
lasting loves are those which are supported
by the girders of friendship.
Indeed, glancing round at the haphazard
way in which the all-important and fateful
relationship of marriage is undertaken, the
impression of all sane persons must be amaze
ment that the failures are not far more nu-
merous.
OF all daring leaps into the unknown.
this is the most daring. No one, not the
most profound student of character. can cal
culate on results of marriage.
Matrimonv is the. most notenk touchstone
1t draws forth the best and the worst-all
that has lain dormant in the heart. We
have known excellent sons, brothers,
friends, who have made most unpleasant
husbands.
just think of what human nature is-its
weakness, its variability, its jealousy, its
ineradicable selfshness, also its affection, its
need of sympathy-ay, even its capacity for
selfsacrifce, and then think of two poor
souls.endowed unequally with these quail
ties chained together in ifei How ardent
must be the flame that can keep them in a
happy state of fusion!
Nor does the most ardent ante-nuptial fer
vor or even constancY ensure post-nuptial
happiness. A few instances rise in our
memory where men have waited and begged
and besought for years, have finally been ac-
cepted, and alas! estrangement and divorce
followed.
"The lovely toy so fercely sought
Has lost its charm by being caughtF'
Again, q pair as unlike and unsuited as
possible in the judgment of onlookers meet
at rout or ball, garden party, race course or
country house. Alter half dozen inter-
views they discover they are indispensable
to each other. He is perhaps going to India,
Japan, or Australia. Her family may wish |
to winter in Rome, Vienna, or st. Peters
burg So after q months acuuaintance
they marry and "ive happy" all their |
days.
Some occult sympathy, some subtle, moral |
chemistry fuses their separate existences
into true unison.
HAPPY MARRIAGES.
Almost the happiest marriages we have |
known have been between lads and Iassies |
who had sat side by side on the same forms |
aud learned out Of the same books in the old |
parish schools, which served so well to equip |
the boys of bonny Scotland for the battle of |
life in the pre-board school days.
Having mastered arithmetic, book-keep- |
ing, and the initial steps of "a soond claw |
ssical edieation," Sandy sailed forth north, |
south, east or west to conquer fortune, and |
generally succeeded.
Then the image of Janet or Jessie. his |
schoolmate, which had never quite faded |
from his memory, grew clear, vivid, attain /
able, and rapid run home or loving let
ter and generous remittance brought abuot
union Of hearts and lives to the lasting BEN
eft of society and the individual.
Between the confieLing evidence supplied
by experience it is difficult to strike bal |
ance. In matrimony, as in preaching, "God |
gives different gift t6 each, F" and il is i'm
possible to recommend one line of conduct
above onother. INIT deem down II, An aonrcae