Telegram-herald., 1889-07-30

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fe AS t1e Fspsr 60 Dy Ap aee says
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see wa-E "a Ils< ia - tae paper
~-r hs-1 3. a@-4 ever ~ sEs--1sr 4eG 80 J.
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4 1s 5-sl--s Never zny tting slssi
TIE P-ain-G- Never, except wneo I re
peat Il hs : ae-f he always SAYS
"W bait 12ea / repeat '.rzaak YOU e
Ine Jassles-Asl -e4r Wass Gs P-4-1tl6
sayss pfisoaeri
TIE DsfsEosat WAC = a yo1ng, medium
sted m-a. c@rrslax "a uusre.lal j now
Plead s-l.y y0-r acaor. j "a Joan No
.ey. tae l-zA uL0 annoyed asr.
Tne J4st.ce-H-ve vel 4aY excused
tlE D-4c-'l1- II - -al --44E --cto
worse. an sfra.-. II 1 state H.
Tie Jlstice-Noa must; you are under
c4.l 20 speax tke waos LUNA and nothing
b-t tne truth
I1e Dsfsadsut-It was because I loved
her
The Plaintiff People DO not annoy thoss
whom they .3ve.
Tue D-tend-nt-i wanted 70 marry her.
! a4ft a
buy papers Tor me always
The Jus-lce-And you refuseol
TIE Plaintiff Indignantly did not re.
The Jus,co-Did you read his paper tie
next uorningi
The P.aintn-Yes, sir.
The Justice-And the nextt
The PlGlntif-Yes sir.
The JusLcs-And what did the prisoner
sayi
The Plaintiff Nothing, your honor, ex
cept There's something interesting in the
paper this morning" when be handed II 70
me, ana "Whatn when | SAID THANK
you"
The Justice-And theni
The P.zlntlE-I had him arrested.
The Jusllce-Ihe court decides that IL has
jurisdiction in this case.
The Defendant Before your honor passes
judgment 1 wish 10 say that / am not deaf.
Ionly wanted % make her talk 10 me.
The Justice Be careful, prisoner; you are
nagnifying your ofiense.
The Defendant sat III the middle Of the
seat so could see over her shoulder gave
her the Times because wanted her 70 have
the best paper. j always carry an umbrella
because you can never tel what the weather
is gong TO be. Ipuf when have 10 run TO
catch the train.
The Justice-But the pesnrtsl
The Defenlant-I eat them TO hide my
discontinue whom sho rebuis rlo.
Tho Justice-Ycu have not told me how
you knew tho name OF tho man who an
noyed you.
The PlaintiE-Tne conductor always said:
"Good morning, John Asuley, you old
dufYer. How are your
The Justice-Prisoner, you ought 70 be
ashamed OF yourself Eave you got any
honel
The Defendant-Yes, your honor. Brick,
ten rooms, gas and hot water throughout
The Justice-What IS your businessl
Idle, suppose,
The Defeudant-Gents' furnishing goods,
your honor. Twenty-Five hundred dollars
clear per annuIn-
The JuStice-Married or singlei
The DETERMINATIONS honor, I prouesA
Ny attentions to this young lady were
strictly honorable l have never been mar
rlcd before and never shall be again.
The Justice-Ehl What's thatl
The Defcndant-I mean, if she marrics
me
The Justice-And you survive heri
The Defeudant-Yes, your honor.
TIE Justice Prisoner, am sorry for you.
You don't look like man who would will
fully annoy anybody. But you pleaded
guilty, didn't you,
The Defendant-Ye your honor.
The Justice-For shame Il is not often I
have ever a handsome man 10 sentence.
That mustache Of yours and your blue eyes
and your good clothes viii cost you dear. !
detest d masher, and when = man who has
respectable appearance Is brought before
me charged with annoying women ia public
places ! always give them the limit wish
could sentence ycu FOR longer timel AIR.
Clerk, make IL read three months in the
bridewell," !" unless
The plaintiffs curiosity gets the better OF
her, and she glances past the post at the
prisoner.
The Justlce--Unless this woman will
marry you.
The PlaintiH-He has never asked me,
your honor.
The Defcncant-I viii now. Can you not
love and marry me. Maryl
The Plaintiff can not promise 70 love
you, because I DO already. But ! will marry
you.
The Jusficc-Wheni
Tie Defendant
The Plaintiff On. how suddeni
The Justice-Co, get license. prisoner.
The Defendant--I have one-pr0ducing it
from hrs pocket always go prepared for
a1y emergency.
The Justice By authority of the law
pronounce you man and wife. Mr.. Clerk.
mako IL read many years Ia the domestic
lail.'-Cnicago Tines
An Underground Canal.
The straugest cana in tho world IS ono
- a.a.. -