Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1889-08-29
HERs AND tn sRE.

Jack Tar-"wa ain't so very fur from
land, jim! There's been yacht along
here lately" Jim-"How do you known"
Jack Tar-"See all them champagne
coiks."-LJe,
"They have seen the sea serpent again"
said Jepkinson, % he looked up from his
newspaper. eyes; do you know what
vessel sighted it ?" "Not exactly; hut 1t
was probably u Canarder. = Washington
Capitol.
81 really don't see what ia the matter
with my razor to-day. II is so dull that
it don't cut at ALL" said Johnny's pa.
tWhy, pa" said Johnny, sit was sharp
the other day when used it to make o
ship with.n-Ep0ck.
New Yorker-No, sir, nave no money
for you. Dirty prsmp-Well, 1 don't
see nothing fer me ter do but drown my
SELF. New Yorker-I can't help that.
Dirty Tramp--All right. Where's the
reservoir? New YorkFr-Here! Take
this dollar and live. Life.
4 company of blind English students
will soon ride on bicycles from Boulogne
TO Paris, ard then will visit the sxpoai-
ton. This bicycle used has four to eight
wheels and oan carry eight people. The
blind men propel the machine, but il is
man who can see guides it.
Alfled-."Going to the Paris Exhibit
ton, old map?" Aigernon--"No, deah
boy; cawn't couutenauce weyolution even
aftah hundwed yeahs." Alired--"Bat
Wales went" Aleernop--'Yaas; but
Wales's tone isn't what it was. Look ct
his daughters mawiage. M1nssy'i
Weekly.
A peculiar industry has sprung up
near Albany since 1855, that of supply
Ing Crushed stone for asphalt and ma.
oadamized roads. The quarry from
which tho stone is taken ia operated
night and day. One thousand tons 0!
rock q day ara crushed, aud $50 cars are
used in transporting the fragments Of
rock TO all parts OF the country.
Mr.. Pomeroy-No, thanks. I won
have any more, Lemonade is cooling
hat very insipid, and then, too, there Il
not aiugle thought in whole hoesheat
OF IL, you know. Now champagne
Miss Janos--Ohampagne is too full o
thoughts. They overcrowd the brain ami
produce Mr. Pomeroy-By Joye!
hadn't thought OF that. That explain
Why my head was so much distepded yes
terday morning. -Aunsey'S Weekly.
J A society event in Wyoming is thus Sc
forth in descriptive gem dug from til
rich mines of the imagination and duly pol
ished eff by poet of the period;
They 1T and lit,
And Eoucad and bit,
And scufll a Ia the mud,
Until the ground
For three miles round,
Wa kivered with their blud;
Aud piles of noses care ard eyes,
Rose like pyr'mids to the skies.
Member from Massachusetts (rising
address the chais)-Mr. Speaker, 'bjeC
20 this we're motion to 'djourn, for th
reason thst---Ths speaker (mildly il
terrupting) The gentleman from MassS
abusetts Is out of order. motion
adjourn ia not debatable. Member .roI
Massachusetts (fercely)-I reckon th
rules kin be suspended, can't they2 TIL
speAker-By unanimous consent {
course. Member from Massschussti
taking OF his coat Il don't reckon nj
pody's goin' to 'bject. The speaker &
some hBsts) The chair hears no objet
tons. Extract from Congressional Rec1r
, Of next morning. The gentleman frol
I Massachusetts chr. SullivAn) then :prt
seeded to argue at some length again
adjournment, 81. Chicago Tribune.
A good story told at the expense OF M
Flank L. Hotchkiss, superintendent
! thegsoundsaud buildings at Yale Oolleg'
is due to the dry humor Of Presidei
, Dwight. The highest of the COLES
t,ignitaries took fancy to some plctu
frames which graduating students b.
, had made ct CuIler's art store from raj
= OF the old fence. He decided to obtai
+ such frame for q campus picture, &C
80 he called ct the art store. 81 woul
a like TO LEve \ picture frame made from
! part OF tho old Yale fence" BGid he to Il
proprietor. ''All right" replied II
Cutler, "but you'll have to steal your ov
a rails" President Dwight ggzsd mod
a tsiively at the floor for q moment al
then remarked rs he turned away; ave
, I'll have to sse Mr. Hotchkiss Gbo,
1 thet!"-Nea0 Harm DisgGtch.
Foreman OF Dood.tgjiie Yelper Office
' ssMr. Clugston, ito time TO 60 to pres
= and lock column OF having enouf
4 matter.n Mr.. Clugston (the editor) -
Y there anything on the standing galley
. Foreman-"Nothing but that ooiumn
plate matter editorial headed Lesson
The Seattle Disaster; that we used we,
d before last" Mr.. Clueston (after son
e moments Of deep tho1yht) "Mortise o
!. the word Seattle wherever 1t occurs, p
It in Spokane Falls in its place, and run 4
a article in again. Darn journalist th
: hasn't any resourcas!"- Chicago 1rt6ut
Z "'rhis must not be known in M
I York" said Edison when notified that
: had been made an Italian count. eth
= would never stop laughing at my illr
.rious self" When asked about the {
hibition he said it was immense 81
utterly bewildered him. He is NUT
struck by the lszinsss OF Parisisn lii
Zone sees nothing but elaborate loafne
he remarked. "When do they all worl
Tbs glory OF the EIfel Tower is only
the magnitude of the conception and
nerve in executing; the restis only bride
building Wa will do 100 per cent bett
shan the EiEel."
ONE OF Us Two.