Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1889-05-30
No. II

Matthew Arnold said that America was the
paradise of the working man. England is
certainly the paradise of the married
woman. and it would scarcely be an ex-
aggeratiOn to say that America, by COM
parison, is her purgatory. The freedom and
happiness enjoyed by the American girl
prepares her badly for the drudgery of mar
ried life And this is not because our men
are cruel or bad husbands; far from it, but
simply because the conditions of married
life in America are aveTse to happiness!
That American marriages are very often
unhappyis nOtoriOusly the case, as is shown
by the list of divorces that fills the papers,
One of the main causes of this is the de-
tective domestic arrangements, which
throw an overwhelming burden upon the
shoulders of the American wife She has to
work so hard, even though she may be
delicate, that she has no time to be happy.
Her nerves are coon worn out, her health
gives way, misery ensues, and relief is
sought in the divorce court. The trouble
was not that she married the wrong man,
as she foolishIy imagines, but that she had
no servants. English women don't realize
the blessings they enjoy in being able to
obtain the service of capable servants.
When, as is frequently the case. 1 hear
them bemoaning the troublesomeness of
their servants, wishing in their folly that
they had none, and saying they would be
better off without them, feel inclined to
arise like a prophecies and say: Hold
Speak not thus. When the time comet
that you have no domestic servants you
will have seen the sun set upon
YOUR LAST HAPPY DAY.
Let me give an example from typical
American family of the well tO-do middle
class. 1t is type of thousands which
may be seen anywhere in the eastern
states. There was the father, business
man, who left home at a. m. during six
days in the week, to return twelve and
half hours later, too tired and weary TO
dream of recreation or amusement; there
was the mother, delicate woman with
two children, one an infant; the grand
mother, vigorous lady of tifty-five, and
cousin of twenty. The house was entirely
self-supporting, there was not servant in
it. Every cOntrivance that brains could
devise or money provide was there to
Tighten the labor; but the women were
always overworked, and never
had leisure to read or paint
or enjoy life in any of the thousand ways
that are open to English ladies. They were
not poor people, as the father, who has
since become very rich, was then making
between $4,000 and 5000 yesr; but no
money could buy the services of good and
faithful domestics, and rather than resort
to that last refuge of despair, "the family
boarding house." they chose to be their
own servants. The visitors in this family
fO Spnl ho,r
in the household. 1t was an am usemen1
for European visitor to do so, but one
could see that such system deprived the
women of all chance of social happiness
and pleasure. In fact, when they wanted
rest they came
TO EUROPE FOR TWO YEARS.
Now, again, there is another reason why
we like England. We are more thought of
here when married than in our own coun-
try. In America the girl, it is true, is
paramount. There she is the center of
social life; while over here the girl is only
graceful and pleasing figure of the back
ground. But marriage distinguishes the
English wor1aD; it extinguishes the Ameri-
can. To be girl in America and matron
in England is to obtain the maximum of
Difference and homage. We are not
averse to receiving both. Some
people find in our supposed toady-
ism reason for our appearance
here in England. But that is ridiculous
re eason to advance, since the number of
British mobiles who take their titles into
the American markets is exec edingly
small. No doubt Americans do admire
titled persons to a certain extent, but
merely because they are rare, and also be-
cause they like to see man distinguished
by something besides his mere cash value.
Hereditary mobiles possess this distinction
apart from their wealth, and therefore
they receive a certain limited amount
OF notice and admiration. These, then,
are some of the reasons why, in
spite of our somewhat aggressive patriot
lem, we are content to become English
wives. The old country has so much that
ls beautiful to offer us, and here, without
being very rich, we can still realize our
won ans ideal of refined, elegant, and
lelsurely home, where the chief figure is
not always conspicuous by his absence. In
these respects we American wives have
much to gain by coming to England, and
we lose very little. Perhaps some English
husband will tell US the motives that
urged him to his exogamous alliance.