New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-07-07

DEN ON 1T so LONG THAT HE ENJOYS IL
, 1t has been said by people Of superficial OBJ
servatiop that the impulslve. exctable man on the
platform the middle of the Just the train is
coming to a stop, who is jumping back and forth'
uncertain which door to run for is the most miser-
able man in the world ba he is not the most truly
wretched is the who has put his ticket In his pocket
and dropped dollar and nlnety-ivc cents worth OF
change into the silent, immovabe chopperbox which
never gives up its victims.
When a young lady has safely got dog, carefully
enclosed in basket past the dogs not admitted sign
the ticket seller. the chopper and the guard, ana
is seated at last the car she is the happest person
in the world-for she has struggled that vice dearest
to the feminine heart. There IS a look of triumph
on her face touched with shade Of fear lest she may
be found out after ALL that other situation In the
world can bring II is seldom that she can resist
the temptation 10 open the cover little Just before
she reaches her destination, and let the dog Insert
his nose in the outer world for a moment that the
other passengers may see that she has triumpheu'
And when she walks out Of the II is with queeny
sweep which would make the manager of the road
feel very small If he could see It, The young lady
With the dog in the basket is like the New-Jersey
Justice OF the peace who sentenced the man to be
hung.
Hold on" put in the opposition lawyer, you
can't do that-you can't sentence a man TO be hung
Great Jehosophat what's the use Of your telln'
me 7 can't sentence man TO be hung When I've done
It already
Whether or not a given weekly or monthly pun
licatIon IS for sale on the elevated news STANDS is
something no fellow can guess; the only way Is 10
ask and find out Periodicals for which there is
three times the demand that there Is Tor ouhers
prominently displayed all the stands arc not hep
and TO INQUIRE for them brings as blank look Oh the
attendants face as If you were to ask Tor Inc
Hottentot Whoopla'
Have you The Arizona Kicker" was asked al
Ninth-ave stand by way oil experiment
"No, sr.'
do YOU know where can get it?'
sNo. might find II in the Aston House or some
of them big stands.
rb.rs are mot perhaps. any class OF men better In
,ormed ON the current affairs Of the day, within the
limits which might naturally be expected uan lno
guards and conductors on the EeVa'ed' LUIS
comes from their habit of gathering up and reading
the newspapers left by passengers on the seats MANY
read half dozen different city papers every day anu
some of them not content unless they can ha'c
as many as this of both the morning and evening
ranorc They scorn to buy a paper and look with
nivne contempt on people who must buy their papers
or 20 without they grow 10 be like the rural eu'or
who had become attached 10 railroad passes that
when he lost his fifty miles from home he pau MS
board at a hotel for week rather than Duy tCho'
sometimes YOU will see papers folded up and stuffed
behind the forward or rear window bllnds OF 'ho
cars or balanced nicely in the hand-sraps nearest
the door-these are the guards, cached as western
hunter would say, for future reference occasionally
IN the morning evening" you Will observe inc guard
stalk through the car gathering the deserted news
papers Some Of the grow fastidous, and demand
their favorite paper or none at all.
"Now that's the fifth one of them things I've
cafd
train the other day as ne held highly esteemed con-
temporary published within sight of City Hall Park,
at arms length and scoSled at It,
"You don't like It therH0
"No. mover read IT, srSht use II TO wad gun. but
consider it too dry to read. seems 'sf / can't get
my paper this morning.
| (which Is it?'
IL have read The Tribune regular since came on
the road two years Don't seem to get my hands
! on n today somehow Don't know but I'll have TO
pick somebody's pocket Of It yet Fort'-sacon'
| Change T. Gran Ccn'ral!'
Three men, all of whom looked if they might
d, be from Farther swanzey NewHampshire, were
recently seen to calmly and nnoccntly walk up the
! no passen gers. admtted-her stairway at station
without being seen, board the first train and look for
a conductor 10 and collect their fares all the
| way TO South Ferry. And the next day the manage
ment took off twelve trains, claiming that the road
was being at a loss.
Some folks of an inqulring turn Of mind have asked
why gum IS sold at the elevated news-staDls; they
have wanted to be shown the connection between gum
and news they have demanded the link that binds
gum and polite literature. There does seem TO be a
chance for questioning here. Why not rubber boots,
and garden seeds, and gas fixtures Perhaps, how
ever, there is a demand among readers for gum gum
and reading mater may 90 nearly hand in hand
than many Of us suspect
"'Cats twenty TO twenty-five feet long, repeated
an old lady wearing god-rimmed spectacles, in a
doubling of voice, she sat in second ave.
car day last week, and glanced al table IN the
sporting columns of the mornings Tribune; "'Cats
twenty-five thirty feet long," and she turned IN
credulously her companion, another elderly LAZY.
| "'Cats thirty 10 thirty-Hve feet long, Now they
needn't tell ME thai there are any such Oh, ]
guess It means some kind Of boat or something about
their pesky yacht racing" And the vision OF feline
ten yards long cured up the hcarth-rug and crowd
ing the rest of the furniture out Of the room gradually
faded from her mind
ONE day last week New-York man got on a down
town train Forty second-st, the Slxth-ave line
with a friend who lives IN Boston, and who had Just
| arrived at the Grand Central Station. 1t the
Boston mans first visit TO NewYork for number Of
years-beng Of quiet tastes, he had managed
| TO supply his wants in Boston, with an occasional
order on NcwYork filed by express. II so happened
that there had been accident to an engine on the
up track Just above Forty secOndst some time before,
and the trains that track about twenty feet
apart, all heavily loaded, it was late in the after
noon The Boston man speedily got his eyes on them
and the look OF establishment gradually deepened and
Just as his own train reached Thirty thri-st he
| asked what the matter.
Matter where! - inquired his New-York friend as
| be stared out the window vacantly.
| why, with the trainsl'
81 don't see anything out OF the way with the
| trains.'
But, great Scott, many of em"
think so Well suppose there are. Day time,
| vou see thov don't ,un ca many nights