The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1889-04-27
THE BACHELORS CLUB.

Meeting called to order by Pres
ident Roberts with a beer bottle.
Secretary Fahy read minutes OF
last meeting, which were approved.
Investigation committee reported
progress, and required further time
in the cases of Bailey and Cow
den. Given one week more. Tie
pass committee recommended that
Aid Cakes be granted months
absence, provided he give bonds
for his safe return. Committee on
suspicious characters recommend
ed the admission of Kelleher and
Williams, but entered a protest
against Barnes, as they have evil
dence that he is married. The ap-
plications of VIM. Murphy and
Bishop Sisson were referred to same
committee. The following resolu-
ton introduced by Jim Fades was
read:
WHEREAS, it is my honest opinion that Bro.
Hoover is sacrificing the best interests of the
Club for his own personal gain, by secretely
encouraging matrimony among the members
in the hopes of selling them furniture and
| baby carriages, therefore be it
RESOLVED, that we dcnounce Bro. Hoover
as a wolf in sleeps clothing and Withdraw
from him the hand OF fellowship.
The resolution was met by Bro.
Hoover with a sweeping denial, in
which he intimated that unless a
retraction was coming forthwith,
certain members of the club, who
should be nameless, would be want
ing to buy a coffin of him instead
of baby carriage. The matter
was amicably settled, however, and
the president was instructed to
severely reprehend Bro. Fades for
conduct unbecoming a bachelor.
Bro. R. A. Cowden then rose and
in faltering voice offered the fol-
lowing:
RESOLVED, That owing to the ravishes of
Leap Year and the recent painful conduct of
Picard and Brown, we deem 1t inexpe-
dent TO longer maintain an organization; and
that we declare the object of the Club fail
ure, get gloriously full on the surplus in the
treasury, and disbani forever.
For an instant there was dead
silence in the hall, and then ensued
a scene of the widest confusion.
Every member jumped excitedly
to his feet to enter protest, and
it was not until the president had
pounded in the head of beer keg
that order was obtained. The
president then delivered scathing
rebuke to the offender, and warned
him not to repeat the offense under
balm of being fined five cents Bro
Cowden retired crushed and hunil-
lated. At this point Col. Hand,
who had been bobbing excitedly
up every few seconds, obtained the
floor and began to speak. At the
first word every eye was turned on
him and it was noticed that he was
ashy pale and trembled violently.
Il found this notice nailed to my
gate post with a hair pin, on
Washington Heights" began the
Colonel, land demand protection"
The President calmly took the pa
per, which had a broom and mop
stick crossed on the top, after the
manner of crossbones, and read:
BACHELORS CLUB BEWAREn!
BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOD
We know
OUR RIGHTSm
Tired not on our skirts at your peril!
Brooms Mops! Ha-Ha!
FEMALE NIGHT CAPS.
The threatening note was refer
red to committee on danger
Ahead" and the project of Danish
ing all girls to Oregon was aband-
oned for the present. Lengthy
resolutions deploring the conduct
of Dan Brown were then read and
adopted, when the Club adjourned
signed dry.