New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-08-31

sell oysters at sixpence draw the line between thsm
selves and the women who sell oysters fourpencs
oh, where is the girl with the blue tinted glasses
Who astonshcd her teachers by deepness OF thought
Who stood at the head In each one of her cassss
whose brain seemed with naught but philospphy
STAY who she be, that with manner so sprichtly
49, up to tha' man a. they listessy rove,
Hes dry-goods young man if mem'ry serve,
rightly
And she-sho's the girl with the glasses, by Jovs
-lMerchant Traveller
A western paper remarked the other day. I'VE
have no doubt that readers win all agree with
us when We say that ought to have cheaper gas
And the editor was very much surprised the next
day when he received note signed Many ReaderSs
as follows: "Then why in Sam Hin don't you pus
down the price OF your paper!'
Mrs. BiIls while giving Mr.. B. curtain lecture
at a late hour -Harki What's that' hear a noise
IN The cellar. john Pm sure It's a burglarl
Mr. Billus getting out Of bedl-PI fix him
=, Mrs. Billus-wha are you going to do. Johni
Mr. BilIus (desperatcly)-Pm going TO open the
doors all the way down 10 the cellar so the Internal
scOundrel can hear you talkng.'-lChicago Tribune
The Chicago Tribune notes that recent Sun
day able sermons preached on such subjects az
The Penls OF immigration" RUNS Everlasting
Curse" The Dolan Double Tragedy From Turkey
10 Japan" The Gamblers Trap" The Male Gossip
Oriental Dcspotism7 Unconvicted Felons,' Inau.
ence Of Heredty Religious Training and what
Saw In MexicO.s And II wonders why no Sermon
Biblical topics preached.
A clergyman says that If fees to be given q.
all, they should be given when clergyman is asked
TO oncfate at funeral. rather than when he performs
marriage. But while bridegroom IS generally in
the humor to pay fee the person who has Just paid
the debt Of nature. Is no longer in liberal mood.
(NOnistown Herald.
An East Indian gentleman named swamee Phas-
kara Nand Sara Swatee has become a resident Of
Philadelphia. Some people cali him Mr. swamea.'
while others call him Mr.. Swatecn
At Foreign Railway staton,-" Guard. can
smoke IN this carriage p
No; II IS against the rules"
Then where do all these cigar-ends on the floor
from!'
From smokers who have not asked permission
-(Pal Mall Gazette.
An old fogy Englishman who has been travelling in
this country expresses his astonishment that men
who manufacture liver pads and cough mixtures
in the best circles OF society
Value of Musical Educ ation-~ tell you,' he said
earnestly, that musical education Is mighty good
thing TO have. man Hale knows s, when II vii do
him a good turn You remember Handsome Harry
perfectly; what a beautiful singer no wasi whao
Vel. last week Judge soclt appointed him vocal
instructor at Sing Sing for term Of ten years.'(Ths
Epoch.
10 tho old etory Francis s. Key the author Of "Ths
starspangled Banner once defined Yankee as being
In cOmmece a cheat, in politics snake In religion
a hypocritco Well, If " The News and Courier thinks
more highly Of Key because he SAID that The Yankees
won't object and IL Charleston should ever suffer from
another earthquake, they will draw big checks for the
victims just a. they have done before. The Yankee
refuses TO be snufed out by false and cheap
episIam.
There are mora than 10000 900 people living within
a radius of 900 miles OK ioroho, ,, or
many millions than live within
Chicago We have city large enough 10 aceOmmo-
dale all the visitors who attend I'm any single day;
and have the men and the energy to make worlds
exposition thorough success Let Chicago and New
York Jury tho Ratchet beneath the naples OF iorpnio
Exhibition Park and unite with THIS cry IN making
The Worlds Fair Of 1892 worthy OF the continent
Toronto Empire.
II is proposed to establish pneumatic system for
the delivery of letters at the general postohice IN
Philadelphia 81 The plans for the new system says
The Philadelphia Record" /" have not We: been
thoroughly digested but the general idea Is to lay
system of pneumatic tubes in all the main streets OK
lie city and connect them with the letter boxes
located on those streets. The connection would ba
by means of a pipe running underground and up the
inside OF lamppost, where 1t would be fitted to
box OF peculiar cons tructon. This would place all
parts of the city in direct communication With tho
general posofce that letter dropped in letter
box at second and Diamond stS for instance, would
be whlrled TO the postofhce IN few SECONDS, can
Celled, and IL IL happencu 10 DC lrdln lmo "ouIh 10
despatched to Broad Street Station, aud on board
train bound for Chicago almost before the ink had time
To dry
suIeon-Anythng happened while I've been
away
Office Boy Nothing but a broken joint. guess
Won wouldn't have attended IL 10 you'd been here
Surgcon-I viii attend 10 anything What about
1t! =,
Office Boy-It opium joint the police broke
up.-(Lowell Citizen.
Among the remarkable men who were born IN
500 may be mentioned DR.. Holmes, Abraham Lincoln,
Charles Darwin, Alfred TennysOn, Mr.. Gladstone,
Edgar A. Poe and Lord HOughton.
In case of war with Canada, the United States
would have one great advantage over the Dominion.
general amnesty, with liberty to return To their
native land could be accorded the colony OF Amer
lean embezzlers she border and before returning
they would of course be true 10 their natural nsnncs
and deSpoil the Canadians by stealing everything
within rcach.-(BoSton Transcript
GO SLOW, GENTLEMEN.