Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1889-11-06
ENI PITY.

First whiskey barrel-"Are You emptyi'
Second whiskey barrel-"Net by jugful''-
New York Sun.
The Mormon men are innocent enough.
They would never have more than one wife
apiece If is were not for the women.-New
Orleans Picayune.
A correspondent asks us about huskins
bees; but we'd rather let someone elss talk
we never had any luck trying to husk them
ourselves.-Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. Boozy-"Boy, what is the secret
Boy-''Can't Jou zee the bulletin boardF
Mr.. Boezy (a rnoment later in front of q
cheap restaarant): "sirloin 20. Pork chops
15. 'Rah for sirloinl''-Judge.
First tramp lat the aoalss)-"Say, you
weighs good deal more dan yer did larst
time we wuz here, cul" Second dittc-''No
wonder, pard." First tramp-"Whyr
Second ditto" cause, amt been beatin'
my weigh all summer?"-Lswrence Amsri-
can.
Smith-"Did you ever get lost, Browna'
Brown-"Yes; got lest in the Mammoth cave
once" Smith-"For PHYS sakel How did
you ever find your way outs' Brown-"Oh,
there was German in the party with piece
of limburger cheese in his pocket and We
followed the scent back. ."-Burlington Free
Press.
knocked his cigar ashes into the eyes of
prince in front of him-"Pardon, your high
ness; ana inconsolable" Prince rubbing
his eyes)-"I beg you will not trouble your
self. There are occasions when it is quise
pleasant to have cigar ashes IN ones eyes."-
Fliegende Blatter.
Sunday school teacher Gin New York;
''All theae things, children, that I have been
speaking of will take place when the millen-
mum comes" Small boy (who reads the
papers)-"Ain't goin' to be eny millen-
my" Small boy-"Chioago1l get it."-
Chicago Tribune.
Candid Criticism. my new
play to express hate I have put in the mouth
of the heavy villain the words: 4 would
poison the waters of the ocean, What do
you think of the expressioni Good, isn't
ita" Candid friend-"No; it's idiotic. Ne
body drinks the waters of the ocean, SO what
sense is there in poisoning themw-From
the German, In Texas Siftings.
The Philadelphia Press claims that Sir
Walter Raleigh used to get drunk and fight,
and that he was go profsne that only wicked
men could at times listen to his conversation.
Ist't it rather late to spring this on Walts
He probably had his failing. same as the
rest of us, but he's gone dead and that should
end 1t. It would be mere progressive to go
for Ben Butler.-Dstroit Free Press.
sALittls Gracie, who was very ill with diph-
thereto Group, always insisted upon having
the dolls throat examined ere she would per-
nit the doctor to look into hers. At one OF
the visits, the doctor, as he entered the
room, asked Miss Oracle: "Well, how is doll
lie to days" Looking up very archly, Miss
Oracle replied, with grea. earnestness, Cher
throat is better, but she's go constipated. -
Medical Classics.
General Butler says there 10 one rule he
follows in writing all his books-"tell the
truth" 1t is needless, perhaps, to remark
that the general is lawyer.-Boston Tram
script.
ST cay, do look like fools"
"Why do you ask that question:"
"Well, last evening Miss Pertleigh remark
ed that "a word to the wise is sufficient and
then she went on to talk with all her might
for more than an hour."-Boston Transcript.
This world is all fleeting show,
And this is true now you can bet,
Man wants but little here below,
And even that Is hard to get.
-BiHghamton Herald.