The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1889-08-01
MRS. ARP IN THE SURF,
And Poor Bill at Home Alone.
Atlanta Consultation.

"Quite a BELLE" That 10 what one of
the children wrote. Mamma is quite
BELLE" I understand it all now. A
mother and five children and lot of
grandchildren went off to st. Simons to
stay week-only week-and here it is
ten days and no family. Left me one
boy and no girl,-one boy to look after
me and wait upon me if got sick, and
never left any medicine, not even the
yasoline, nor bottle of camphor. Our
only company has been the dog and the
calf and the pig and the chickens. We
two have been trampiDg around the house
and counting the days, and the time has
been out ever since Monday, and now q
very self satisfied letter comes and says
they are all having splendid time, and
mamma is quite belle. I'll 60 after
that belle-see if I don't. A woman
can't be belle without there is beau-
maybe two or three beaux. That is what's
the matter With me. But then, poor thing,
she hasent had any outside attention in
so long time that expect she does en-
JOY it. 1t has been just forty years since
she was a belle, When I 60 off on trip
Ialways have good time and when some
pretty girl pins lovely little bouquet on
my bosom I strut around smartly and re.
new my youth, but I don't take the bon.
quets home in my pocket, nor my valise,
by no means. New arrivals every day
and some splendid swimmers" That's
what's the matter again. I am not there
to see the pretty girls swim. / wonder
when my folks will get tired, and come
home My boy and I are lonesome, only
two of us to sit at the table and eat. l
have asked blessing on the same chicken
three times for we are too lonesome to
have an appetite and one chicken lasts all
day and leaves enough for the cook
cheap living, amt it? So there is some
good with the bad. We haven't bought
pound of butter since they left, nor
hardly anything else. We live or home
made eggs --and potatoes and chicken
breast. 1t is the first time I have had q
chance at the bosom of a chicken in two
years. But ws have worked hard, me,
and my boy-.worked hard to surprise
nv wife with 8. new bathroom; and it is
ever so nice, and ne built it and painted
it and put beautiful zinc.lined bsthtub
in it all ready for the waterworks that
are nearly finished, and ne put up shelves
and wardrobe hooks and transom win.
dows. They will all need it when they
get home-need it to get that salt sea
water of-that water where the alligatoTs
and sharks and dslimy reptiles live. But I
can taste the salt when I kiss them q!
welcome home.
But they haye had a glorious time I
know and that. makes me happy, except
that "quite belle" business. Why, she
hasn't ,belled any for forty years ahe
never had time to run about and belle.
She has got 3 taste for it now and will
keep on going and belling ! reckon. I
got it by grapevine that a notable Atlanta
man vas in bathing at st. Sinons the
other day and thought his wife had al.
ready left the bathhouse aud gone into
the surf and SD he thought he would slip
| up on her and surprise her with warm
embrace which he did in rapturous and
voluptuous manner, and suddenly dis
| covered it was another mans wife. he
! apologized with great pretended humilia-
ton, and about those times. his own wife
and the woman's, husband came skipping
along behind and he said afterwards he
| felt Just like he was betwixt the devil
and the deep sea, which remark I hope
he will never get forgiveness for, and my
opinion is an ordinary man can tell his
own wife from anybody else's wife,
whether she is on the sea or on the shore,
if he wants to, and l have read about
these drummers jumping off the train at
a station and kissing pretty cousin
before she had time to think and then
apologiziDg when he found she wasent
his cousin, and jumping on the train
again as it was moving of. That is an
old trick of the boys, but I dident know
that the grandfathers had got at it.
Thank goodness that my wife hasent
tackled the ocean yet, and l hope she
won't un til that Atlanta man goes home.
And Carl writes that he shot shark
that was six feet long and they got the
varment out on the shore, and he was
/ going to save his teeth for me, but a
nigger come along in the night and stole
him. And The next day, while out in q
boat fishing, he got big dsh.hook
caught in his hand, and the leaden
weight that was on the line pulled the
hook through from the palm to the back
and the hook had to be cut off with cold
chisel and then cut out with a sailors
knife, and so be got his share of the bad
with the good, and that is the way with
every kind of fun in this sublimary
life. If you bank on it there will be a
big discount-about as much discount as
cash.
**
T. / had penned the above last night
about midnight. for like Ahasbuerus. I
got to ruminating and couldn't sleep, and
so concluded to ventilate a few domestic
reflections. was thus engaged when
there was a racket at the door like the
sound of many waters. Mrs. Arp and the
children had arrived and suddenly they
seized me and assaulted me- in riotous
and tumultuous manner. embraced them
all with digni6ed affection and licked the
salt off their lips and faces and assumed
an air of subdued and happy martyrdom.
We talked and chartered an hour or 30,
H.. ,,Jdo,11 en;ad op