davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08
BRIGHT BITS.

SHE-What do you suppose supports the vast
arch of the heavenss
He-The moonbeams, guess-Lo,UeH Citi-
zen.
JAcKsoN-Mrs. Henpeck tells me she gained
SIX pounds while she was in the mountains.
Henpeck-That's nothing; l gained twelve
While she was away.-Life.
LoAFER-How are your Just thought I'd
drop in while to kill time.
Busy MAXWELL we don't want any OF our
tine Klled.-LdtCTeIce american.
THE USUAL EFFECT.-Great Editor-How do
the railway officers seem to feel about this acct
dent up the road?
Reporter-It has struck them dumb! Puck.
Mas. WATTs-What a sweet child your Willie
is He's perfect lite angel, think.
mrs Potts-No, not quite. He takes after
his father in some of his ways.-Terre Huute
Express.
DR.. QUAKER-Mr. McClacker seems to be a
man of very broad views
Mr.. Whacker-Yes; don't believe there's a
single question on earth that he doesn't strad-
dle.-Puck
A CORRESPONDENT wants to know where he
can buy century plant. The Century plant is
located on Union square, New York, but we
don't believe you have money enough to buy it.
-IerdS SLfttngs.
PRIVATE BULLION OF THE ELITE GUARDS
An, uniform is the thing to catch the hearts of
the dear creatures!
place foorce meself, wanst.-TeTre HGute Rr-
press.
LADY OF THE HoUsE-No, make it a principle
never TO give away money at the door,
Tramp-Very we'll madam, if you have any
feeling about it. | am perfectly willing that
you should hand it TO me out of the window
Yale Record.
Il THINK Cora Fibbery is awful She ex-
aggerates sou
That's SO. Are you going down town now?''
NO My head aches as though 10000, 600
knives were running through it. I'll stay and
finish this novel. thine.
THE NEW York Mol and Express remarks
tnat everybody will be glad that the burning
OF the tabernacle did not interfere with DR..
Ialmages trip abroad" This must be one OF
the things that the author would rather not
have said.-Philadelphid Inquirer.
Nor A LEAP YEAR PRoposAL.-Young widow
MI; Preachiy, will you marry me?
Mr.. Preachly-Well, really, Mrs Buckner this
is so sudden, and"
Young widow-O. well, take your time to
tnlnK u over. Mr.. Harkins and thought we'd
Ike TO have you perform the cerem ony for u.s.
Harper's BGkdr,
DocToR latter examining patient)-You are in
bad shape, man. and must look out for con.
sumption. Are you troubled with night sweatsi
Patient-Night sweats? Well. / should say
80. And who in thunder wouldn't be if he
walked all avsrthes house fifty times per hour
with squaling baby dangling over his left
arm!-hedrney enterprise.
LATE AT THE OBSERVATORY Please tell me
where ! am to go. l was invited to see the
transit of Venus.ns
Il am extremely sorry, madam, but you are
too late. The transit was over fifteen minutes
ago" +
20, that's no matter The superintendent is
| a friend of mine, and am sure he will have il
done again for me. "-FLtegende BLdtter.
ALL is CHANGED.-Mr Pentwistle- Queer how
| ones ideas changed used to think Miss HALL
| day pretty
Mr.. Turveydrop-So did l. thought she was
| bright, too.
| Mr.. Rosebloom-Yes, and thought she had
| taste. pa
Ensemble-But since she became engaged tc
| that stick, Harvey-"-Hdrper's Bnzdr.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08
The Dog overcame His Prejudice.
From the Ptlnrsuta,cney (Pa.) Spirit.

PTOH Ine funJSutdtcneB (Pd.) Spirit
The Rev. G. L. Streamer of Smicksburg has a
Ittle black and tan dog, about SO high. This
canine has heretofore regarded it as his special
mission in life to make it as warm as possible
Tor black cats. White OF Maltese or yellow or
spotted cats he never molested but as sure as a
black cat would show itself about the premises,
Don would straighten up the bristles on the
BACK or his neck and go for that black cat. He
could tolerate anything but sable feline That
was too much for his dogship to endure.
NOW, the Rev. Streamer has little daughter,
sadie, who loves this little dog as heartily as
the dog hates black cats. A few days ago, dur
ing the cold stormy weather, Sadie could not
nnd her 'doggie' about the house. aud was very
much annoyed to think that he was out in the
ram. She went to every window and peeped
anxiously out, and at last she saw Don"
croucnng under the fence.
Iaklng an umbrella she went out and at
tempted to bring Don" IN. But he growled
ana snapped at her. and would not bulge. The
strange actions of the dog puzzled her father,
an d ne went out to what was the matter,
wnen ne discovered that Don" had two little
olack Kittens in charge, which had Just recently
got their eyes open, and he was tenderly shell
terlng them from the rain and storm. The Rev
StTeamer took the dog into the house, but he
whined piteously, and the first opportunity he
got ne ran out again, and, taking the kittens in
ms mouth one at time carried them to his
kennel and put them snugy away in his OWL
oed, after which he seemed to be content.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08
he sided for the Plaiptir.
From the Nelo YorI. SUI


Il was practicing law in a town Just across
the Ohio river" said the Kentuckian in the
party. There was a country Judge near by
winter and on the lawn in front Of his house in
the shade of big tree in the summer. An arm
chair, tilted back against the tree, was the seat
OF Justice, and weatner-beaten board. lying
across the tops Of two whisky barrels answered
Tor the bench Attorneys, plaintiff. defendant
and witnesses sat or stood Immediately in front,
and surrounding them in q circle were the curl
ously inclined. The case before the Judge on
the occasion have referred TO was was horse
case, Stokes VS.. Billings. The plaintiff stated
MS side OF the case. and was about TO call a
witness.
Il dshide fo' tn plaintiff hiccoughed the
Juage, VINO was almost stupid with drink.
But, sir, you have not heard the DEFENDANT
side OF the case at all, said the opposing at
torney. My client has a strong case, sir and
ne proceeded to elucidate It.
rupied.
This brought the plaintiffs attorney to his
rect You have heard no witnesses yet, your
honor and he went on to tell what he should
prove by some Of his leading sWearers' as they
are termed in Kentucky.
Inc magistrate was again convinced. I'll
cnange my d shisun, he said. III dshide TO
tn plaintiff
This sort of thing went on for some time,
until finally the effect of the judges potations
ward on the bench and he couldn't be shaken
back into sensiblity. 1t happened to be the
plaintiffs inning, and the lawyer, placing pen
IN the judges hand, guided it so that the deci
sion was written in the judges book of record.
Ii stood, too"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08
Helping the Girls.

The agitation that was begun in this state
few months ago in behalf of an industrial
school for girls has been productive of good
results. The legislature has authorized the
establishment OF such a school at Milledge-
willie, and has appropriated s35, 900 for Its
support 1t has also authorized the open
ing of the branch colleges to girls A good
deal of progress, therefore, has been made in
this state aithin very short time in the
effort to put girls upon an equal footing
with boys in all matters relating to public
education.
And why should not girls have as many
and as good opportunities for preparing
themselves to earn a living as boys. The
number of them who are supporting them
selves is already large and is steadily
increasing. They are finding their
way into nearly all the professions and call
ings, and the percentage of them who are
successful is quite large. Thousands of
them are doing what very few of them
thought of doing a very few years ago.
They make excellent clerks, and can keep
books and transact business about as well
as men. They no longer feel wholly de-
pendent upon their parents or other rela-
tives. They not only earn living wages,
but many of them save money. 1t will not
be long before they will be managing en-
terprises Of one kind and another, and
competing with men for choice business
positions.
In the industrial school which will be es-
tablisned in Milledgevilie, such things will
be taught, doubtless, as are certain to be
useful to women who have their own way
to make in the world, and if the school
starts right and is wisely managed, it will
be of incalculable benefit to the young
women of the state. If 1t proves to be as
successful as there is reason to hope it will
be, 1t will soon have to be enlarged to meet
the increasing demands upon it.
The opening of the branch colleges to
women is a move in the right direction.
While we have not approved the branch
colleges, because all the money the state
can spare for educational purposes ought to
be applied to the improving Of the public
schools, nevertheless as long as these col
leges are in existence the girls should en-
joy their benefits. There is just as much
need for good women teachers as there
is for men teachers, and as the
state has not yet provided normal
schools for the education of teachers
the branch colleges must, in measure, do
the work which they would There is GER
tainly great want of good teachers in the
public schools, and the state will recognize
before long that 1t is its duty to help provide
them. Give the girls as good chance as
the boys have to make preparation for the
battle of life, and they will succeed about
as well as the boys do In taking care of
themselves
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08
Beauty and Love.
my mind is such as may not move

My mind is such as may not move
For beauty bright or force of love-"
From My Mind to Ne q Kingdom Is"
oh! beauty bright" shall not thy witching
smile
The poet charm, nor his chaste soul beguile?
Shall he, in bis contented happy state,
See naught in thee to move, to captivateY
Then let me never be on earth, pray,
poet young, mature, or bent and gray;
For beauty bright wit rapture fills the soul
joy forever while the world shall roll
Or force of lover On vain oh foolish mani
Vast thine eyes closed to Gods eternal plan?
The force of love the universe doth move;
Love saved SHINING world. and God is love!
All, what dreary dream this world must be
To those who love themselves alone! They see
No heavenly form. angelic half divine
In which perfection is, all virtues shine;
In no dear life the sum of being dwels
For them; an no, their lone existence tells
No story old, foEaver new and sweet;
No tale of love and happiness complete,
Nothing they know of faith, and trust and
truth,
Lasting to wrinkled age from early youth.
All, they miss Gods great gift from heaven
above .-...--.
Whose hourly lives move not by force of lovei
OSCAR BLISS
st. augustine. Fla, Nov. 8, 1889
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08

Some days ago the board of aldermen of
New York passed an ordinance prohibitin &
the playing of hand organs in the streets of
that city. The Herald is not pleased with
the ordinance, and it calls upon the alder
men to repeal it. 1t says that hundreds of
organ grinders make an honest living upon
the streets of the city, and that if the people
had wanted to get rid of them, they would
have stopped paying them. A correspond
emit of the Herald says that the city could
much better spare the aldermen than the
organ grinders. If the correspondent means
Doodle aldermen, he is quite sight. 1t is
highly probable that the people are very
glad to get rid of the organ grinders They
did not give them money because they liked
the music
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08
Some Original Criticisms.
Js.1,,, yIa u11sbs.4 d.

Frederick Warde was to play Richard Ill.,
in Nashville. Tenn, that night. Charles II. Kee-
shin his advance manager, and Mr.. Mlsom the
manager of the theater, sat in the box office,
chatting.
''Mr. Warde never plays Richard" said Mr..
Keeshin, that l do not think of a criticism of
the play which / once overheard in Baltimore
cafe after the performance. Two young fel-
lows sat at the next table. Said one of them:
1" That play is rot. 1t is perfectly absurd to
make man spend 50 much time and murder SO
many people for the purpose Of getting king
dom and then have him offer to trade it OFF for
horse"
Just then a party of loggers who had come
down the river from the Tennessee timber
country bought tickets and went in. The cur.
tain went up. and in a few minutes the loggers
came back and demanded the return of Their
money.
what is the matter?' asked Mr. Milsom
'Well," said one of the party, I'VE didn't
know that man Warde was a cripple or we
wouldn't have gone in at all. We don't want tc
see no darned cripple play king
YES" said another, AN the internal fool be
gan by talking about being discontented witt
this winter when it's the best winter we've had
since the war. ~
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08
In Favor of Revision.

The Presbytery of New York is in favor
of faith. The last Presbyterian general
assembly submitted the following questions
| to the presbyteries:
First, do you desire a revision of the con-
| fession of faith9 Second, if so, in what re-
| spect and to what extent?
| The presbyteries are to vote upon these
| questions and report the result to the next
| general assembly. The New York presby-
terry voted overwhelmingly in favor of
revision. 1t is stated that some a number of
the ministers spoke SO strongly against the
| present confession of faith as to shock some
| of the good old orthodox ministers. One of
| them said that 'the Presbyterian church is
| in need of a doctrinal statement which can
be used and which can be understood" DIR.
Paxton said: ga man who could preach
some of the articles of our faith would not
be contemporary of the nineteenth
century. He must have walked out of the
seventeenth century. He would be a sur
vival-and not of the fittest."
A good many of the ministers declared
that the Presbyterian church needs a new
creed. They repudiated the doctrines of ir-
revocable predestination and infant damna-
ton.
There is not much doubt that the creed
which has answered ths needs of the church
for two centuries will be radically changed.
The discussion in the New York presb ytery
showed that many of the ministers do not
believe some of the articles of faith, but if 6
change is once begun, where will it end
| Does the demand for a new creed mean that
the old is all wrong! One thing is certain,
however, and that is if new creed i!
adopted, it will be more nearly in harmony
with the religious thought of the present
day than the old is, though it may contain
| no more truth.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08
Wit at Low Rates.
From the 81. Louis Republic.

rToHt Tue o. LOUIS heptLOttc.
The price of wisdom is said to be above rubes.
but the price of wit is said to be somewhat
lower. Life pays 81 so per joke, while M,tnsey' 5
Weekly pays 81, Puck from rs cents down to %
cents, Time so cents. and Judge about the same
as Puck These are the prices for short dia-
logues and paragraphs. Clever, light verse.
of which there is a dearth, fetches
better price. All the comic weeklies are
flooded with matter. most of it atrociously
stupid. One professional humorist has with
Life at this moment $50 worth of jokes ac-
cepted and unpublished. This man turns out
such things by the hundred, has carefully
classified and recorded them, and submits them
to joke buyers by platoons. Professional
jokers rarely do the best work, but they can be
counted on, and steady supply is more to be
and illustrators of comic papers are a solemn,
even a melancholy tribe. James S. Metcalfe
who succeeded Frank White as the editor of
Life, might easily be taken for a divinity stu
dent, and gaunt, grizzled Charles J. Taylor of
Puck looks like rural deacon.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08

The MORNING NEws is on file at the following
places, where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained:
NEW YORK CITY
]. H BATES, 80 PARK Row.
g. P. RowEIL & Co., 10 Spruce street
W. W. SHARP & Co, q Park Row.
FRANK KIERNAE & Co., 152 Broadway.
DAUcHY & Co., q Park Place.
J. W. THOMPSON. 80 Park Row.
AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION,
Potter Building.
PHILADELPHIA
N. W. AVER & Son. Times Building.
BOSTON
g. R. NILES, Csc Washington street.
PErTENGILL & Co., 10 State street.
CHICAGO
LoRD & THOMAS, Is Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
EDWIN ALDEN COMPANY, GO West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN
TIE H. P. HUBBARD COMPANY. 25 Elm street.
ST. LOUIS
NELSON CHEsMAS & Co., 1877 Pine street.
ATLANTA
MoRsINe NEWS BUREAU, SO Whitehall street
MACON
DAILY TELEGRAPH OFFICE. 597 Mulberry street
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08

James M. Schumacher, a republican aud a
son-in-!aw of Gen. F. E. Spinner, is in
Washington, and has given his views upon
the coming contest for the United States
senatorship in Florida. Mr.. Schumacher
lives in Jacks onville. He says that it is i'm
possible to state accurately whether Call or
Chipley will be elected. Senator Call, he
says, is very popular with the people in the
country, but he may be defeated if he comes
out second best in JOINT debate with Mr..
Chipley. In speaking of the prospects of
Florida, he said that they were of the most
encouraging character, and that the travel
to the state the coming winter would be the
largest ever known.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08

The health authorities of Newburg, N.
Y, have stepped in to prevent faith curists
Of that city from practicing their peculiar
methods in the case of little boy who has
diphtheria. Several of the faith curists
took possession of the room in which the
sick boy was. and refused to allow medicine
to be given him. One of them said that no
physician should enter unless he did so over
her dead body. The board of health con-
vened. and had the house quarantned,
after which the faith curists were driven
out, and the boy placed in the hands of a
physician. He had suffered much while he
was denied medical aid, but at last accounts
he was improving.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08
A Little Consolation.

The republican organs appear to find
some satisfaction in the fact that the demo.
Gratis did not carry Pennsylvania. One of
them says There is no trifling with the
earnest republicans of Pennsylvania. The
democrats made no effort to carry that
state. They saw no chance for doing so.
They made pretty successful efforts to carry
other states, however. Ten states held cleo
tions and the democrats carried seven of
them. OF the seven two were republican
strongholds, Ohio and Iowa, and three were
doubtful, New York, New Jersey and Vir-
ginia. The democrats could afford to let
the republicans have Pennsylvania
There is no doubt that the tariff had a
great deal to do with giving the democrats
the victory in Ohio and Iowa. In the west
the people are fast beginning to understand
that the protective tariff policy of the
Republican party is one of the things that
helps to keep them poor. In both Ohio and
Iowa the tariff issue was discussed during
the campaign this fall, and it was remarked
by the tariff reformers that the farmers we're
realizing that the kind of a tariff that the
Republican party insists upon is hostile to
their interests.
The effect of Tuesdays elections will
doubtless be seen in congress next winter.
The republicans will be anxious to pass a
bill reducing the tariff, and the reduction
they will propose will, in all probability,
be much greater than that for which their
bill in the last congress provided. Their
purpose will be to get the credit for reduc-
ing the tariff. and in that way retain their
hold upon the west. The monopolies will
place 50 many obstacles in their way, how
ever. that they will find it extremely diff.
cult to frame bill upon which their party
will unite.
Corporal Tanner pretends to believe that
the defeat of the republicans in so many
states was due the fact that he was re.
| moved from the commissionership of pen.
sions. He is altogether too important a
person in his own estimation. The repub-
licans don't care anything about Tanner
and his grievance. Most of them have
already forgotten him. If he hopes that be
will ever be an issue he is going to be greatly
disappointed. His wfsest course is to put a
paddock on his mouth and quietly drop out
| of sight.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08

A novel feature of the election in Rich
mond last Tuesday was the sending of
tempting eatables by women of that city to
the democratic workers at the polls. The
women were greatly interested In the sue
cess of the democratic ticket, and this was
one way in which they showed their inter-
est. Speaking of this novel movement.
Richmond special says: "The most superb
evidences of all Virginia cookery
were sent to all the precincts in
the way of hot soups, fresh pies
and oyster patties, besides tempting
desserts of all varieties. Some of the bellies
of Richmnd We'd with each other in cook
ing these delicacies with their own hands
In some instances, especially in the coun-
try, amusing dilemmas occurred. When
the colored female cooks, who were cook
ing these extraordinary spreads, learned
that they were for democratic workers at
the polls, they sulked, and in some instanc es
let them burn, or refused to have any thing
more to do with the cooking. But such in
stances were not abundant. Said a worker
in jackson ward to-day: 4 never saw such
magnificent eating in my life"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-08
The Australian Ballot.

The Australian ballot system Of elections
was tried in Massachusetts, on Tuesday, and
the reports are that it gave great satisfac-
faction. Voters and election officers speak
Of it in praseworthy terms. There was an
tire absence at the polls, even IN the
larger cities, Of those who annoy voters by
soliciting support for this or that candidate,
and no attempts TO buy votes, 50 far as re-
ported, were made. The ward workers and
ballot distributors, who were so conspicuous
about the polls under the old system, were
not visible There was no demand for their
services.
The voting was sufficiently rapid to
enable all those who offered TO vote TO de-
post their ballots before the hour for clos
ing the polls arrived. In some of the pre-
cincts the voting was much more rapid
than in others. This was owing to the fact
that in the precincts in which the ballots
we're cast rapidly, the voters were Of a
higher average grade of intelligence, and
were therefore able to prepare their ballots
more quickly. 1t is worthy of notice also
that the simplicity of the ballots facilitated
the work of the canvassers in reaching the
results of the voting in their respective
precincts
The Australian ballot system has been so
frequently described that most newspaper
readers are fully acquainted with it. In
brief it is as follows: The expense Of print
ing the ballots is borne by the public. On
each ballot the names of all the candidates
for Office of either party are printed.
Opposite each name is the name of the
party to which the candidate belongs. The
election officers give out the ballots. One
ballot is given to each voter, and the voter
cannot have another unless he returns the
first one to the election officers. The first
one is sometimes spoiled, and a second one
is necessary.
Having received his ballot, the voter
enters booth prepared for the purpose,
and there, secluded from every one, he
makes a cross opposite the name of each
candidate for whom he wishes to vote. His
vote will be counted for only those candi-
dates whose names are so marked Having
prepared his ballot, he folds it and delivers
it to the proper election officer. 1t cannot
be known for whom he has voted unless he
chooses that it shall. There are provisions
in the system pointing out how those who
are blind, or who cannot read, may be
assisted in preparing their ballots.
The successful trial of the Australian sys-
tenn in several of the states justifies the
opinion that either it, or modification of
it, will be adopted eventually in all the
states