The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-31
BRIGHT BITS.

TaE fact that truth was at the bottom Of
well was discovered long ago-but she hasn't
been rescued yet Merchant Traveller
A SMILE is generally supposed to be species
Of comparison, but it is more Of g paradox.
You knock one OF its eyes out 70 make ii smile.
-1erre Hdute Express.
CHATARD How beautifully the roses bloom
on Miss Sigourney's cheek!
Saysit Anyhowe-Yes, / always did admire
hand painted flowers.
The mustache is said to be losing its popu-
larity as part of the hirsute adornnent OF the
masculine face. 1t is always getting lin the
soup. "-Mfnnedpolis Journal
QUITE So-Yes, there Is no doubt of it,
women are riddles"
Just So-But they are the sort Of riddles men
ar'nt likely 70 give UP. London Fun.
JMes--I understand that Jsggs Is travelling
for q Wholesale liquor frm now, but never
saw him with any samples.
Jangs-Have yon never s,neIIed his BREATH
LolceI Citizen.
"IN the accounts Of the marriage Of the En-
psror Of China" said Mrs. NcCrsckis, Il see
that his household comprises seven cooks and
thirty physicians" That's about the right
proportion replied McCrackte.
Mr.. HAYsEED-How is my old friend Gump
getting along!
Philadelp6ian-o, 80 so. Mr.. Gump will never
amount To much. He's been in city councils
ten years aud isn't rich hilddelphia Rec
ord.
A MONTREAL MAN has patented a device by
which, as he somewhat vaguely claims, he can
make years supply of ice for rs cents. After
all, it isn't the ice that costs so much II is the
sugar and lemon, the Augostura and-and-and
thefest of it.-DetrOit Free Press.
MRS. CHURCH To Mas. MEETINaHoUsE-I did
so want to go to the whist club tonight but it
is Lent you know, and we have to give up the
things we want most to do, and DO the things
we dislike; and SO concluded I'd run in and
spend the evening with you.-LOtCeH Courier.
TIE Doors WILL BE sAvED.-Actor to man
ager Of tank shOw-Surely you don't expect me
to go in the tank with this S12 pair Of boots?
Modern Manager-Oh, no: Just before you
go in there will be an explosion which will blow
of both your legs, but the boots will be saved.
You need have no fear for them.-PhitddelDhid
Inquirer.
No Amanda, we have not heard Miss An
thongs lecture on What Woman Wants" We
have no doubt it is an able lecture, hut we have
a surer way OF learning what woman wants. We
just sit by and keep tab on what she gets, and
| in a long and humble career We have found that
what she gets to-day is a fair index of what she
wanted yesterday Washington Post
Her MIsTLkE.-Bride (of month)-Oh dear
| don't know what is to become Of me. My
| husband is so surly and snappish and--why
can't get him to give civil answer to = single
| question.
Sympathetic Mother-well. you might have
known better than to marry a railroad ticket
| agent, NATURALIZATION d Record.
JONES Cexcitedly)-Say Smith, there's a heavy
| run on our bank and wen have to close if II
keeps on. know you have several thousands
there. You better hustle if you want to get 'eu
| out.
Smith who has Just bought one OF the new
pig pulzles(-l4et EN- run I've got three OF
these COMPOUNDED things in their pen and IN
put the last one in II II costs every cent have
Philadelphia Inquirer.