Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-06-23
SIMON SHORTS SON SAMUEL
Sentimental, sueculent Soothing, SprfSht-
", Specially Sibilant.

Sentimental, Succulent. Soothing, sprtSht-
ly, Specially sfbilant-
Shrewd Simon Short sewed shoes Seven
teen summers, speeding storms, spreading
sunshine SUCCESSFULLY, saw Simons small,
shabby shop still standing stanch, saw Simon's
self same squeaking sign stil swinging,
specifying: ''Sirnon Short, Smithfiesds sur
viving shoemaker, shoes sewed, soled, super
finely"
Simon's spry, sedulous spouse, Sally Short,
sewed shirts. stitched sheets, stuffed sofas.
Simons six stout sturdy sons-Seth, Sam
uel, Stephen, Saul, Shadraeh, SAas-sold
sundries. Sober Seth sold sugar, starch,
spice; Simple Sam sold saddles, stiTups,
screws; sagacious Stephen sold silks, satins,
shawls; skeptical Saul sold silver salvers;
selfish Shadrach sold salves. shoe strings,
soap, saws, skates; Silas sold Sally Shorts
stuffed sofas.
Some seven summers since Slmons second
son Samuel saw Sophia Sophronia Spriggs.
Sam showed strange symptoms
Sam seldom staid storing, selling saddles.
Sam sighed sorrowfully, sought Sophia So
phronia's society, sung several surreptitious
serenades slyly.
Simon stor1ned, scolded severely; said Sam
seemed so silly singing such shameful, sense
less songs.
'Strange, Sam should slight such splendid
summer sales! Strutting spendthrift Shat
terbrained simpleton!'
''Softly, softly, sire" said Sally. "Sams
smitten, Sans spied some sweet sylph."
Sentimental schoolboyW snarled Simon
"Smitteni Stop such stuffr'
Speaking so, Simon sent Sally's snufbox
spinning, seized Sally's scissors, smashed Sal
lys spectacles, scattering several spools.
"Sneaking scoundrel! SANS shocking sil
illness shall surcease!"
Scowling, Simon stopped speaking, start
ing swiftly shopward.
Sally sighed sadly Summoning Sam, she
spoke sweet sympathy.
''San,," said she, "Sire Simon seems singu-
larly snappy; 50, sonny, stop strolling streets,
step smoking segars, spending specie super
fiuousiy, stop sprucing so, stop singing sere-
nades. stop short! Sell saddles, sonny, sell
saddles sensibly; see Sophia Sophronia
Spriggs soon; she's sprightly, she's stable, so
solicit, sue, secure Sophia speedily, Sam
$50 soona Shall Sally's son Sam SO surely
seek soup so soon?" said Sam, standing stock
still
$50 soon, SURELY" said Sally, smiling; "spe-
cially since sire shows such spirits"
So Sam, somewhat scared, sauntered slowly.
Shaking stupendously, Sam soliloquizes: $50
phia Sophronia Spriggs Spriggs - Short
Sophia Sophronia Short, Samuel Shorts
spouse, sounds splendid Suppose she should
say-she, she shan'tl she shan'tl She shan't!
Soon Sam spied Sophia starching shirts,
singing softly. Seeing Sam she stopped,
started, saluted Sam smilingly. Sam stani-
mered shockingly.
''Spl-spl-splendid summer season, Sophia. 1"
Somewhat sultry," suggested Sophia.
"Sar-sar-tin, Sophia" said Sam. [Silence
seventeen seconds1
"Selling saddles STILL Sam?"
''Sar-sar-tin," said Sam, starting suddenly.
Seasons somewhat sudoriic," said Sam,
stealthily stanching steaming sweat. [Speak-
ing sensibly.]
''Sartin," said Sophia, smiling significantly.
''Sip some sweet sherbet, Sam" [Silence
sixty seconds.]
''Sre shot sixty sheldrakes Saturday, said
Sophia.
''Sixtys Shor said Sam. [Silence seventy
seconds1
''See Sister Susan's sunhowers," said So
phia, socially scattering such stiff silence.
Sophl6s sprlghtly sauclness simulated
Sam strangely; SO Sam suddenly spoke senti-
mentally.
Sophia" said Sam, spontaneously, "Su-
sans sunAowers seem saying: Samuel Short,
Sophia Sophronia Spriggs, stroll serenely.
Seek some sequestered spot, some sylvan
shade. Sparkling springs shall sing soul shoot
ing strains; sweet songsters shall silence
secret sighings, super-angelic sylphs shall -
Sophia snickered; SO Sam stopped.
''Sophia," said Sam, solemnly.
"Sam," said Sophia.
"Sophia, stop smiling; Sam Shorts sincere.
SANS seeking some sweet spouse, Sophia"
Sophia stood silent
"Speak, Sophia, speak, Such suspense
stimulates sorrow"
'Seek sire, Sam, seek sire" said Sophia,
soothingly.
So Sam sought Sire Spriggs.
Sire Spriggs said: ''Sartin. "-Resurrected
by reader Of The Chicago News.