San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-06-29
CHAPTER XVII.

necessarily legal in the others.
The most curious, and those which differ
most, are the laws upon marriage and di-
vorce.
If it is easy to get married in the United
States, it is still more easy to get unmarried.
In the state Of New York, for instance, if
you go to a hotel with woman, and put
down ''Mr So and So and wife" on the regis
ter, the law looks upon you as legally mar
ried to that woman, but the marriage is not
recognized as valid in some other states. To
obtain divorce in the state of New York
you must prove infldelty on the part Of your
wife; but Just across the Hudson, in the
state of New Jersey, it is to be obtained on a
proof of cruelty or incompatibility of char
acter. If this is not easy enough for you,
take the train to Chicago, where divorce is
to be had for the asking, almost.
The court of divorce in Chicago, called by
the Americans "the divorce MILL" decided
6S1 cases during the year 1887.
This institution is just as hourishing in the
state of Indiana as in Illinois The fasteners
jokingly pretend that, as the trains roll into
the capital of Indiana, the porters cry out,
indianapolis, twenty minutes for divorcew
so that couples who may have fallen out on
the journey can part company for good.
Does the husband snore or chew; has he a
kissing his wife, Does that lady wear false
hair or teeth, give her tongue too free play,
or habitually take up the newspaper as soon
as her husband shows signs of dropping into
sentiments All these oifenses are serious ones
before the aforesaid tribunals.
Without troubling to go and settle in Utah,
an American may set up & harem of legiti-
mate wives. Each lawful spouse might be
concubine outside the state she was married
in, but by carefully studying the laws of the
different states Jonathan could, if he pleased,
indulge in polygamy without fear of being
prosecuted for it.
have read in American papers divorce
cases that were really most comic
When a will has to be administered mat
tiers often become very mixed up, as you may
easily imagine. Who are the legitimate
childrenl
Of course all these confusions make work
for the men of law, who naturally think
American legislation the finest in the world
The city of Chicago alone possesses seven
teen hundred and sixty-eight lawyers, all
thriving.
What capital subject for an opera bouffe
might be got from some Of those Chicago di-
vorce casesl What merry quid-pro-quos!
What amusing scenes! Choruses of lawyers
choruses of lawful wives, with the refrain:
1--WE are Mrs, Jonathan, ira la!"
'DAPPEN VS. DAPPEN."
I extracted from Chicago paper the fol
lowing evidence, full of originality and
humor. The plaintiff is at the bar, being
examined:
'What is your husbands occupationG"
asked the counsel
''Habitual drunkenness, sir" said Mrs
Dappen.
Il refer to your husbands profession"
HE made cigars"
Good cigars"
occasionally"
Here counsel drew a cigar from his pocket
This, your honor, is one Of the defendants
cigars"
MARX it Exhibit A. said the Judge.
Had Mr.. Dappen any other professiong"
continued the lawyer.
mot to my knowledge" said Mr.. Dappen's
wife.
Never practiced as DENTIST"
''Not professionally"
''Now, Mrs. Dappen, on your oath, did not
your husband extract six of your teethp"
Mrs Dappen looked timidly around. Mr.
Dappen being evidently out of hearing, she
whispered, He did"
Ibid he administer gas, or ether, or any
'nssseS5t d etc
"Did he extract the teeth one after the
other?"
HE extracted them all together"
"Had your husband any license to practice
as a dentist?
Il never heard of it. He used to say: 4
will allow you dollar day. Bring me the
every week, and if l ever find
cent missing will knock your teeth OUT"
did he find any deficit in your accounts?'
Zone Saturday night could not balance
the books. was ID cents short. Without
word my husband struck me in the mouth
Six Of my teeth were knocked out. swal-
lowed two"
Have you the other four in courtF'
Eyes, sir"
"NIark them Exhibit B." said the judge
Eventually the divorce was granted.
"
CHAPTER XVIII