Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1889-07-24
HUMOROUS.

Puck.
Lady Ito applicant for coachman)
-"Are you an EnglishmanP Appli-
cant-"No. mum; I was born in Ire
land; but I've lived so long in Aneriky
that s'pose do seem quite English.
you know. "-Harper' Bazaar.
"A lawyers brief is very long,
And Mr.. White is black,
man is dry when no is green,
And when he's tight he's slack
A FIRE is Lot WHOM 1t is coaled,
lamp Is heavy whom It's light
shoe IS bought when u is soicl
A man can see when out or sight.
-Husband-"I don't understand
why have to get up and make the
fire with n hired girl in the house. "
Wife -" Well. if we want to keep
hired girl in the house we must not
ask her to do any of the work"
PA, / have about concluded to
wed for title and become the Count.
ess dc Ass;nine. What will you settle
on the CountP" IL will settle on him
with both feet and an oS-gad, backed
by two hundred and seventeen pounds
avoirdupois. "-Yonllers Gazette.
Woman Ito tramp)-'Havo you
any friends or re!ativesP" Tramn:-''I
havo u brother Bill" Woman-''Is
Bill a tramp, too?" Tramp mo;
Bill didn't turn out very we'll. Fl"
tried most every thing and finally
driftcd into the milk business"
-Lawyer-"Wil! your honor put the
usual question to tho witness rs to his
religious br:ief?' Judge-"Witness
do you believe in the existence of &
Supreme Being that controls tho af-
fuirs OF monp" Witncss-"Yawohl,
Shudge. dot vas my wife Katrina. Dot
woman vas der boss!'
What q wonderful painter Rubens
was!' remarked Merritt at the art
gallery. Yes" assented Cora. at
is said of him that he could change r.
laughing face into q sad one by q
single stroke" why" spoke up
little Johnnie in disgust, "my school,
teacher can do that "--Detroit Free
| Frc5s.
After scratching his head and
thinking for some moments, a Grand
Rapids boy said to his mother: "If
God makes q stock of little boy and
girl babies and gives them to mar
ried folks, it seems funny to me that
they look so much like their papas
und mammas every time. "-Detroit
| Tribune.
The salary Of the King of Samoa
is twenty dollars q month; and an
American wouldn't wear the clothes
the King appears in on state occasions
for twenty dollars a week. Twenty
dollars u month is O small SALARY for G
King, but it may DO that he is fire.
quently presented with a few shares o.
Pan-Eiectric stock in exchange for his
influence. -Norristow He. aid.
Hang portiercs, sayr
Dobson-"Correct. They generally
arc hung. But why do you dislike
themP" Jobson-"Well, few yoar!
ago. when a man was angry, he coult
bang the doors, and SO relieve hi:
fcelinga Now, we'll, you cant bang 5
poriiere. There seems to be real.7
nothing left to do but keep cat ant
tramp ON il.
--Guost [attetnDting to carve)-
wv hat kind OF a chicken is this, any
how?" Waiter - Oats genuia
Plymouth Rocker. sab" Guest (throw
ing up both band-) THAT explains
il, by George! knew she was an old
timer, but l had no idea sho date
back there. Take or away. draw
tho line on the hen-house Of tho May
flower. Texas Stftings.
=, --'Mabot," said Henry, and in spit
Of his efforts to control himself tn
J.; voice was tremuI0us, and he spol1
with the air of timid desperation whic
marks the g ocution of Il ni;,n about t
ask for the loan Of five pounds
= Mabel, d. not knee! at your feet
(and no wasn't-ho was sitting Dol
upright on q sofa) ''to plead for my
self. ! come here only TO beg you I
think of my brother George. Heb
loves you dearly, Mabel, and shout