Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-01-12
V11Ntsn for THx EvESISe STAR
ETIQUETTE AND MANNERS.
What to Do and What Not to Do in
Polite Society.

Polite Society.
MRS. sHxswooD's CORRESPONDENCE COLUMN
mn GAP AND APRON oUEsTIoS-wHES MOURN
mo MAJ BE DISPENSED wrrH-socrAI. couRrE-
sfKs-BHLKs FLORAL TROPHIES.
he following are the questions and answers
shst have been selected for publication this
weed as being of the most general interest.
sClara" asks: cat what hour should a
musicale be given, and can a light evening
gown be worn if il ia in the afternoon? Would
il be better to give it in the evening, when
gentlemen could attend2 What refreshments
would be proper at a musicale? Should I
request an answer TO my invitation"
TO answer the last first: Yes, Of course. An
invitation to . musical party, where all should
be seated, requires answer more than any
other invitation, excepting dinner invitation.
Also wear light evening gown In New York
musicales are often given at 2:30, because there
10 a large music-loving crowd in New York who
have plenty of leisure. In smaller towns 1t
would be well to give them in the evening,
but there is no law a. to hours; suit your con-
venience.
A very light supper is usually given when
music is offered. Oysters and salad, punch or
champagne and ices.
''Tryphonia" asks: 'would it be proper to
u u -,
if in eating soup you see that he needs it? We
have a friend visiting rs with very heavy
mustache. Should he feel hurt il / suggested
that it would be better to use mustache cup
when he is eating soup, as it all adheres to his
mustache and drips down on bis clothes?'
No, it would not be proper for you to offer
the gentleman any relief in these embarrassing
circumstances. Never notice peoples personal
habits or let them see that you do.
CAP AND APRON.
Miss Softly" writes: '.Having had occasion
to engage q new maid, a French woman, 1 find
she objects to the cap and apron, though from
different reason from these given by the Irish.
Shall insist on her wearing them? Do the
best families insist on this popularity Of do
mestio hvery?'
Your French maid, at home, would never
dare appear without cap and apron. She is
Yes, the neatest housewives and ladies insist
on the white cap and apron, as it is very much
neater than any other dress.
Rosa" asks the never ceasing question:
''Should an invitation to a church wedding be
acknowledged if you can attend, and if so, how
shall the acknowledgment be made?"
IL requires no answer. You go il you please,
stay away. Call at the house afterward
Miss January" asks: How shall I address
a note to Mrs. Fuller, the wife of the Chief
Justice? Shall say Hon. Mrs. Judge Fuller,
Mrs. Chief Justice Fuller or Mrs. Fuller?'"
Simply Mrs. Fuller. Address your note THE
Chief Justice and Mrs. Fuller" wife does
not take the husbands title in this country.
THE MOURNING QUESTION.
young widow" asks: ''In leaving off mourn
ing at the age Of forty how ought to dress?
am very young looking, with bright COM
pleIion and sunny hair 1 fancied ought to
dress in plain colors. but I do not wish my
quiet tastes, increased by years of mourning.
TO carry me too far. My consciousness Of
youths departure is making me. my friends
t1<. II h. g.
studied the art of costume much"
Young Widow" should go to Worth. who
always asks q lady's moral qualities when he
dresses her, and says he wishes to know if
widow mourns her husband with '.feeling and
magniiicence," or with feeling and economical
dispoSitions."
With the bright complexion and sunny hair
We should recommend the young widow to wear
gray.
John Campbell asks: what is Chippen-
dale chair? What is vernis Martin table?
What is a Sheraton desk? and what is pocket
bonbonniere?"
The latter is little silver box with sugared
rose leaves and sugared violets. that ladies
carry to the opera The Sheraton desk and
Chippendale chair bear the names of their
makers. The yernis Martin refers to a very
hne kind of varnish, invented by a coach
maker in Paris in 1850 named Martin. 1t is
now applied to very elegant tables.
Mrs. Schreif" asks: How shall introduce
into society young man who has no mother
or sisters. Just home from college, 1 have no
acquaintance in New York and he has none,
yet he belongs to the best family in the town
where he lives"
Alas! We cannot answer this question.
SOCIAL CoURTEsIEs.
'Ieonora' asks: when persons are in the
habit o. exchanging visits and social courtesies
Is it the custom to invite to a lunch or dinner
the guest who is staying in the house and not
the young lady herself?'
Naa 90 zos lo.lr-
son wanted to dinner or lunch. 1t would be
lmpohte to leave the young lady hostess out of
a large party. This matter of invitations is a
troublesome one. No one. however. should
ever ask a hostess to do otherwise than she
chooses She may have a thousand reasons
which she cannot explain why she should not
do these things. person may be charming
girl. an acquisition to any entertainment, but
there may be reasons why she cannot be asked
Good Feeling asks: lis it correct or incor-
rect to leave the card of the sender of wedding
gifts at the house, or should it be attached to
the gifts?''
Always attched to the gift.
Mary Templeton" asks, ''Shall anknowl-
at New Years, by sending mine back?''
No. lady does not send her card to a gen.
tleman. She accepts the attention silently.
fitzpatrick asks: IF lady wishes to make
apresent TO person rather below her in sta
ton should she send her card, with her initials.
or should she put her full name.n
She should put her full name as the card
with her initials would look rather dubious. II
would not be respectful to the person honored
with the gift. and might be misinterpreted on
her side, while honesty, candor and good feel
ing are seldom misinterpreted.
coURTIsG.
&C. L. NJ" asks: What is a good name for
the gentleman 10 whom one is engaged? Shall
i say my intendedy That sounds stiff Shall
i say the gentleman I am engaged to? That is
very long. What il the best form? and ia there
not a better phrase than keeping company or
courtingf'
Our language is very poor in these equiva-
Tents. In France a gentleman who aspires to
a lady's hand is called "a pietendant," but we
have no exact name for the beau" As for
counting, il is a good. old fashioned, pretty
word. much better than keeping company"
''Winifred Johnson" asks: rs it proper to
marry within the year of mourning? II so,
what does the bride wear? Should she give
reception? IL SO, do the guests come in black?
Does her mother wear black
Ii Is the custom to wait year, but IL there
are reasons why wedding should take place
before. the bride wears a white dress to be
married in and can resume her mourning after
AT the wedding reception in England the
bride mother would wear red and resume her
mourning the next day. No one should, how
ever. 20 TO wedding in a heavy crepe veil;
the thing Is incongruous. Mourning can be
laid aside for the daY and a receDtiOn he given