Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1889-01-11

The inimitable Mark Twain evidently
spoke more truth when he was relieved
as temporary agricultural editor than was
credited to him at the time. In his first
editorial after assuming the responsible
ity of editor he wrote: "Turnips should
never be pulled, it Injuries them. It is
much better to send a boy up and let him
shake the tree" Also
"The guano is a fine bird, but great
care is taken in rearing it. 1t should not
be imported earlier than June or later
than September. In the winter it should
be kept in warm place, where it can
hatch out its young" Furthermore:
lowing to indications of backward
season it will be well for the farmer TO
begin setting his cornstalks and PLANTING
MS buckwheat cakes this year in July in
stead of August" And again:
"Concerning the pumpkin-This berry
is a favorite among the natives of New
England, who prefer it to the gooseberrv
for the making of fruit cake, and who
likewise give it the preference over the
raspberry for feeding cows, as being
more filling and satisfying"
"Oh. Why didn't YOU tell me Won
didn know anything about agriculture p,
exclaimed the editor, who cut short his
vacation and reached the office about the
time the returns from Twain's first edi
tion were all in. "Tell you" exclaimed
the humorlst. "Iou cornstalk, you cab
page, you son of a caulilower, It's the
flrst time ever heard such an unfeeling
remark. | tell you | have been in the
editorial business going on fourteen
years, and it's the first time | ever heard
OF a mans having to know aything in
order to edit newspaper.
~ GU turnip. Who write the dramatic
crltiques for the second-rate players?
why, party of promoted shoemakers
ana apprenticed apothecaries, who know
just as much about good acting as do
about good farming, and no more. Who
reviews the books? People who never
wrote one. Who do up the heavy lead
ers on finance? Parties who have the
largest opportunities of knowing nothing
about it." Were Twain writing now he
would doubtless add. Who edits the
great Monthly that tells the breeders all
about how to raise fast horses, and in
vent rules for breeding the thoroughbred
trotter A querulous, hypocrtical.
pompous bigot, so prejudiced that he
cannot tell the truth when it conflicts
with a pet theory, who never bred fast
horse nor owned trotter in his life aid
Ell by young man raised in country
where they have always produced excel
ie'lt car horses and Holsters, yet whose
practical knowledge of trotting stock
can be but little superior to that of his
superficial master.
"Iou," says the humorist, sstrv TO fell
me anything about the newspaper BUSH
ness. Sir, | have been through it all.
from Alpha to Omega, and tell you that
the less man knows the bigger noise he
makes
Inc value of the young mans opinion
who wrote the elaborate essay upon the
National Horse of America" concern
ing justin Morgan's origin, compares
with that of our correspondent, Mr..
Benjamin Hibbard, about as the most
insignificant mole hill does with the
Andes 1t matters not feathers weight
what stock either Godolphin Arabian or
justin Morgan sprang from. Their
names will always represent in impartial
history two of the most remarkable ami
mails OF the equine race. The one will be
remembered to the end of time as tbe
progenltor of the swiftest, most courage
Gus and most enduring class of race
horses that the world has ever seen. The
other as the founder of a class of road
STEERS and family horses whose EQUALS
have never been produced.