Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-01-18
DLsPEpTIC ANTID0TES.


chin.
ALI. men are supposed TO have fore.
fathers: but the cannibal has ate faith.
ers.
II usually costs tho man Who walks
home every night, more than his car fare
to do so.
AMELIA R1vEs CHANDLER speaks of
"soul chill" She refers to cold feet,
probably.
IT was Brooklyn man who refused
to use Florida water for fear Of catching
yellow fever.
THE world is round. This Is probably
the reason so many people fail to get
square with it.-BostO,s Gazette.
A WOMAN with hobby wears out
more shoes in three months than wo.
man without one does in two years.
MAIDEN, ali, how cold thou artt
Hast thou then for love no room:
Does It need sealskin sacsD
To inaugurate a boom7
MANY boy finds it easier to contest
his fathers will after tho old man il
dead that when he was alfve.-Boston
Post.
What is roorback? Pupil
(whose father is not . politician) 1T is
On animal that looks like q rhinoceras
with a trunk like an elephant.
MISTRESS Ito Bridget, who is admir-.
ing herself before the glass)-Why
Bridget, isn't that my hat you have on
Bridget-Yis mum; amt Oh ould lookin
in it?
SHOOK (yellow-bearded)-1 say, old
fellow! I'm going to have my beard dyed
to match my new brown suit. Jock
Dye it green, why don't you, to match
your head ?-The Idea.
What is this I hear, Lily? Your
governess has been complaining of your
conduct" "Then you had better send
her away, mamma, for having brought
me up so badly. "-Judge
GIVE us this day our daily bread.
and forgive us, as we forgave Old
Hutch" was the way q little Chicago
boy varied his usual petition the other
night. Tribune. 4
RooTY ToorY went home very early
one morning, and by dint Of the banis.
tiers arrived at his bedroom. is that
you?" demanded Mrs. b., sternly.
"Yesh," gurgled Rooty feebly; II wish
it washn't!"
ABOUT as useless thing as there is
in this world is the word obey in the
marriage service. The bad wives won't
obey, and the good ones never give their
husbands occasion to command them.
Martha's Vineyard Herald.
A LADY having remarked in company
that she thought there should be tax
on the single state Eyes, madam,
reioined d most notable specimen of the
incorporating old bachelor who was
present, 'as on other luxuries.
"CApLE cars are quite a recent thing
in transportation" remarked the cas-
ual caller. sNot at ALL" replied the
snake editor. I'VE read about them III
the Bible" WHAT" ayes, You will
remember Paul stood before A grip
per-"
A LITTLE pamphlet called "Humor in 7
ye Sixteenth Century" shows, that ye
joker of that period borrowed gres
deal Of his Wit from the humorist off,
nineteenth century, without giving
particle of credit. Her
aid.
"LovE and wine, so much sung about
in poetry" observed the philosopher,
"are two very different kinds Of intozi |
cants." I'm what way?" asked the List
ener. The one, was the reply, aswells
the heart and the other the head. y
Chicago Globe.
MINISTER Ito Bobby SO YESTERDAY
was your 9th birthday, was it, Bobby?
Bobby with pride)-Yes sir. Minister
You seem to be proud about it
Bobby. Bobby am; pas got to pay
fare for me on the street cars row
Neac York Sun.
II NOTICE in the paper" said Mr..
Barracks, pouring cut Mr.. Barracks
coffee, chat Brooklyn clergyman say
that women should be permitted y
whistle" "Yes," retorted Mr.. Bar
racks agreeably. "He is right. w
should surely not deny to women q priv
lege we accord to tugboats and locome
tives."
been out haunting, Uncle Zeke?
dat I has, sah." well, come owe
here and tell me what you goA Don
stand away over there as if you felt
was an advocate of drawing the colo
line" "'Taint so much de color line
boss, as it am de ootagion o bad breE
dat makes me shame O myself. Ish'
n L. II. - onI