Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1889-11-06
Getting a Drink.

luxuriously enveloped in sheet, in
the cooling room of Turkish bath
establishment. There were two 9TH
ers who were also cooling off, and
right here beg to state, for fear of a
misunderstanding about the matter,
that the reason was there was to get
rid of cold that had just started,
and which, if generally taken in time,
is arrested by means of a Turkish
bath. | regret to say, however, that
l rarely get there in time. One Of
the men had not come in to get rid of
cold. He had had no sleep for
couple of nights, he said, and was feel
ing under the weather. l believe that
somewhere uptown there had been an
all-night poker game, with the ac-
compartments of stimulents, and this
victim of poker had felt rather shaky
and so went to a Turkish bath to sort
of revive him.
"See here" he said to an attendant,
81 want you to send out and get me
a good whisky cocktail"
The attendant looked aghast.
my dear sir" he said, "that is not
allowed i'm this establishment"
"What is not allowed ?" asked the
man.
I'VE are not allowed to send out
for any liquors."
"Well," said the cooler of, in tones
of deep disgust, "this is fine bathing
establishment"
eyes. sir" said the attendant, "it is
considered the finest in town"
"In the town !" cried the other.
"In the village, you mean. Why, it's
the only place in the United States
that a man can't send out and get
what he wants. l tell you I've got to
have a whisky cocktail, and Pm going
to have it"
ooh, you can have it all right" an
swered the attendant.
"Very well, then, want it just
now"
"You can have it all right, but not
till after you get out"
"Now, see here" said the man, in
an insinuating tone Of voice, there's
dollar in this thing for you. You
send out on the quiet and get me a
whisky cocktail. 1t will be all right,
nobody will ever know anything about
it,"
81 can't do it," said the attendant.
"It's strictly against orders and, be-
sides, the proprietor wouldn't allow it.
It's no use, you had better 60 to sleep"
Where is the proprietor ?"
Hes in the next room. I'll call
him if you like"
"Well, wish you would do so. l
want to see what the reason is for
such an idiotic arrangement as that.
This is the first Turkish bath place
that | was ever in that / couldn't get
what / wanted"
The proprietor came in and was
very suave and soothing, but he was
perfectly firm on the liquor question.
No whisky cocktails could get into
the doors of that establishment, not
while he was proprietor.
The up-all-night man pleaded and
begged and swore, and threatened
never to come there again, and tried
to appeal to the proprietor's better
nature, but It was no go. No whisky
would be allowed in the cooling room
The man thought deeply for while
and then again sent for the proprietor.
"Say," he asked, "have you tele.
phone here ?"
"Oh, yes" answered the owner of
the place.
swell, | wish you would be so kind
as to ring up my friend, Jacob Strauss.
Tell Jake, when you get him, that /
am here at your bathing establishment
and can't get down for an hour
Tell him to pospone that appointment
for another hour at least"
"All right. What did you say the
name was ?"
"Strauss-Jacob Strauss"
The proprietor seemed all the more
anxious to please his guest as he had
had to refuse him the necessities of life
short time before. But after while
he came into the cooling room and
said, as he held the telephone book
in his hand:
81 can't find any Jacob Strauss
here"
ooh, he must have telephone"
said the bather.
at isn't in the book, then"
"Well, thunder, how am to get a
message to him? Ihave an appoint
ment with him in about ten minutes,
and had forgotten all about it. /
can't go out of here till l am COOL"
mo, certainly not" said the pro-
prietor. "Well, the best thing you
can do is to call up messenger boy
and send note to your friend. Does
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