Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1889-07-14
BERTUcIo WASN'T A SUCCESS.
The Experience of Two Poetical Tramps
in a Groggery.

The Experience of Two Poetical Tramps
in Groggery.
A ragged, grizzly bearded individual,
with shutting gait and beery eye, ambled
into low GROCERY on the river front, and,
taking seat at one of the tables, croaked
for liquor.
The proprietor of the establishment eyed
the new conner suspiciously for moment,
evidently recognizing in him one of that
| peculiar bred known as the genus tramp.
Let's see your money first" demanded
the saloon-keeper.
Money! Ha, ha. Money, say you, my
| lord? Know We not, fool, that money is
but eaIth-and earth, filth? Money bah
| money means wealth, and what Is wealth,
pray? What does the immortal Billy
Shakespeare say?
If thou art rich, thou art poor;
For. like an ass whose back with ingots bows,
Thou bear st thy heavy riches but journey,
And death unoads thee"
Why you're pretty slick for bum,
amt your" said the barkeeper, whip had
listened to the tramp's recital in open
mouthed establishment. 81 suppose your
too high for beer-you probably want wine,
hey ?'
Wine All, now thou talkest !" and
CHASTITY smile struggled through those
grimy whiskers. Wine did We say? That
soul-inspiring word. Hank we to tie words
OF merry Lord Byron
Few things surpass old wine and they may
preach
Who please-the more because they preach in
Let us have wine and women, mirth and laugh
ter;
Sermons and soda water the day after
Ha !! ha ha" chorused the alcoholic
crowd which had now gathered around the
poetical tramp: 'Blowed eff that amt
purity good" added one. "'Sody water the
day after Hal ha ha But l say. bar
keep, can't yer set EN- up fer the poet !"
All ! the poet !" resumed the classical
stranger, without even seconding the last
speakers proposal. Speak again that i'm
mortal word. The poet, aye, the poet
The poets eye, in fine frenzy rolling,
Doth glance from heaven to earth, from earth
TO heaven,
And as Imagination bodies forth
The forms of things unknown the poets pen
Turns them to shapes, and gives to airy nothing
local habitation and name.
THAT" my friends, sis the poet, the d.
vine poet, who says in verse what others
say in prose-"
The crowd didn't appreciate the last
quotation as well as the one which pre-
coded it, but nevertheless, resumed their
clamoring for drink for the scholastic
bum. The barkeeper responded with a
generous schooner" which didn't remain
visible two seconds after the poetical
tramp got within reach of it.
Speak 'nuther piece, boss" suggested
one of the crowd; give us sumthin'
funny"
Funny Fools, think We nothing but
of mirth? Why think We not of the grave?
The grave invites; where cen the great find
rest
And blended lie tn oppressor and tn oppressed.
ugh? we don't want nothin' like that
give us somethin' funny. Here, barkeep,
give him 'nuther beer"
The beverage materialized and again dis
Friends, it is with a sorrowful heart I
inform you am not whit amusing. But
have friend who slumbers on yon river |
bank who is of wit possessed. larry, I'll |
fetch him.
A few moments later he returned with |
about the dirtiest specimen of human be- |
ing that could be found in years search. |
Now, Bertucio," said the classical one |
to his friend, these gents would fain hear
one of thy wittiest lays"
1t required the production of three
" schooners before Bertucio could make |
himself heard. Then mounting an empty |
cracker box, he emitted the following:
Roses red and violets blue,
Sugar is sweet and So
But he got no further Beer glasses, |
bottles, plates, and, in fact, everything that |
was movable was flying through the sir, di- |
rectly for his head, many of the missiles |
crashing against it. His classical COM
panion ran to the rescue, but the angry
mob had forgotten his entertainment, and
seizlng both of the tramps they ran with
them to the levee and dropped them into
the " drink"