The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-09-04
BRIGHT BITS.

COOP EVENING, 1Ir. Sticky, you really must
come 70 Sc mo again some time"
Er, but wasn't going quite yet, Miss Eva.
"Oh, beg your parton. You ge orally do
go, you know, after an hours silence. Time
WILLIE-Mamma, what does nil desperan-
dunn mean?
Mamma who is married to a politcian)-It
mean my child, that there are a good many
CRUCES to be distributed yet.-Time.
The Discovery
When old Columbus with his ships
About our country lowered.
Each Indian maid with Sprlghtly grace
Skipped from the surty bathing place
And cried. with wonder stricGen face;
Great heavens. we're discovered"
-PhiiadeL5h td Press.
CUsToMER-You sell cracked eggs at half
price, do you not?
Clerk-Tes'm. We always make so per
cent. reduction on cracked goods Anything
Customer--Yes. You may give me 81 worth
Of cracked wheat, aad here's your so CENTS
Exchange.
A VALUABLE SALESMAN. Juvenile customer
(doubtfullyl-I'm afraid you haven't any ribbon
OF the kind | want. Mamma said must be sure
TO ask Tor mouse color.
Salesman equal TO the emergency, producing
bolt of fiery red rbbon)-Thats what this is
crushed mouse color. How many yards?-
Chicago Tribune.
MIsrREss-where are the nails, John?
John-l didn't know what kind you wanted,
ma'am.
Mistress-What kinds did the dealer have!
Joan-Six-penny, eight-penny and ten penny,
nam.
Mistress-You should have brought the latter,
John. You know we always get the best
Judge.
A SERIOUS CAsE.-Mrs. Brske-Jonny did the
doctor call while was outP
Little Johnny stopping mis- play)-Yes'm He
felt my pulse an looked at my tongue, and
shook his head, and said it was a very serious
case and be left this prescription, and said he d
call again before night.
Mrs. nriske-Gracious mel 1t wasn't you l
sent him to see; 1t was the baby.-Ne1 York
Weekly.
STANDING UP FOR HIS RIGHTS Conductor
That boy can't be less than years old. shall
have to charge you half fare for him
MIR. Skinnphlint Enormously looking at his
watchl-No, you won't. It's nov O'clock
That boy won't b. years old till exactly 7:3O
O'Clock, and we expect to get off this train at
exactly 7:25 O'Clock. II you charge me any
t1ng for that boy FL report you.-ChicdgO
Tribune
dance with your asked Mr.. A TX Ward of Miss
Mazurka.
80 sorry" replied Miss Mazurka, who had
some painful terpsc IOrean experience with
dances"
Then must dance attendance" said MIR.
Ward, as he trpped his light fantastic toe over
her train and tore away two breadths Detroit
Journal.
A CLERGYMAN of this city likes to teal story
Of his experience in a suburban church some
years since. He was to preach an exchange
and so was little anxious to have things 20
smoothly. The pastor had lett a written order
of service for him. but he noticed that it con-
tanned no re erence to an organ response after
the long prayer" SO he called the aged sex.
ton to the pulpit, and asked him what followed
Doesn't the organ have anything to DO p
asked the preacher oh said the sexton,
Il believe the organ does give few notes. lust
enough to take off the effect of the prayerl'
Another Boston clergy man was once surprised.
on preaching an exchange to find a stra n on
the organ upon the order as following the
prayer. When he heard the wheezy, asthmatic
tones of the instrument he concluded 1t was in
deed DISQUALIFICATION Record.