davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
A Monkey 8 Temperance Lesson.

In my youth, says writer in an exchange,
had friend who had monkey. We al
ways took him out on our chestnut parties.
Heshook all our chestnuts for us. One day my
friend stopped at tavern and gave JACK
about half glass of whisky. Jack took the
glass and drank its contents, the effects OF
which soon set him skipping. hopping and
dancing. Jack was drunk. We agreed TO
come to the tavern next day and see II JACK
would drink again. :,
l called in the morning at my friends
house: but instead of being, as usual. on his
box, Jack was not to he seen. We looked IN
side, and there he was crouched up in heap.
"Come," said his master Jack came out on
three legs, applying his fore-paw to his head.
Jack had the headache. He was sick and
couldn't CO. So we put it off three days. We
then met again at the tavern and provided
glass for Jack But where was he! SkulkinS
behind chairs. Come here Jack" said his
master holding the glass out to him.
Jack retreated and as the door opened he
slipped out and in a moment was on the top
OF the house. His master called him down.
Jack refused to obey. My friend got whip
and shook it at hlm. The monkey continued
on the ridgepole. His master got gun and
pointed it at him. Jack slipped over to the back
of the building. He then got two guns and
had one pointed on each side OF the house,
when the monkey jumped upon the chimney
and got down in one OF the tiues and held on
by his fore-paws. My friend kept that
monkey twelve years afterward, but never
asked him again to take whisky Wisconsin
AqriculturiSt.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
She Was Saved.

"You have secret, Angelica" said
the young husband fondly, as he kissed
her eyelids down. 81 have seen a far
away look in your lovely eyes for the last
twenty -four hours. You must tell your
own Augustus all. This suspense is mad
dening."
"O6, Augustus, cried the beautiful
girl, as she butted her head against his
recently ironed shirt-front. 81 can con-
ceal from you nothing. have a soft
corn"
With one bound her lord rushed from
the room. To dash madly round the
block, to size the first physician within
hail, to bring him breathless into the
presence of his loved one, was the work
of five minutes, thirty-two seconds,
Waterbury time. She was saved
Drate's Mdgazine.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
Destructive Man Makes Deserts.

Several writers on American antiqui-
ties have called attention to the tradi-
tions of the Aztecs and Mayas (the
aborignes Of Yucstan), who have pre-
served the memory of time when their
forefathers inhabited land in the far
Northwest, where they maintained their
independence for long series of GEN.
turies, till famine at last obliged them
to seek new home in the wilds of the
tropics. Baron Waldeck's conjecture
that the cradle of the Aztecs was the
great central valley of Utah, seems con-
tirmed by the absolute desolute desola-
tion of the Salt Lake Basin. Even in
dresry Dakota the uplands are heavily
timbered, and many of the Colorado
sparks" deserve their attractive names;
but in central Utah, even tie tops of the
Sierras are as bald as the skull of Nor
mon patriarch. The present barrenness
of large area of our western tablelands,
may, indeed, be due to the same causes
that desolated enormous territories OF
the eastern continent, where the desert
sand now covers regions which un-
doubtedly once formed the garden spots
of the Mediterranean coastlands. The
traveller Champollion goes so far as to
deny the existence of any aboriginal de-,
sert, and maintains that even the sand
wastes of northern Africa owe their
nakedness to the havoc of the woodman's
axe, and, judging from the traces OF
former water courses, and the petriied'
stumps of sand-buried trees, may once
have teemed with forests and luxuriant
meadows. "Here. as in southern Europe
and western ASIA" he says, ''the hand
of man has blighted the loveliness of our
Mother Earth; Earth was Eden once,
and the burning sun of the desert is the
angel with the flaming sword, that has
driven our forefathers from the gates of
Paradise. ."-Yankse Blade.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
He Got the Surprise.

sI-ah-but I want some meat, )" she
said, as she entered a shop on Grand
River avenue.
"Yes'm," was the stereotyped reply.
81 was pas housekeeper for two years,
you know"
"Yes'm."
"And 1 want good meat, you know"
"Yes'm."
"The very best. Which is the best
beefsteak."
"a cut from the neck, maam."
"Oh, yes, I'd forgotten. Well, give
me two pounds, you know, and I shall
cook it myself, and give Charlie sur
prise. ."-Dstroh Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
She Forgot Nothing.

Mrs. Anglomaniac Ito butler)-"Mat-
thew, his Grace, the Duke of Twedle-
dunn, dimes and sleeps here tonight. I
want everything in the most correct Eng
lish way"
Matthew-"Ho, yes, hindeed, num-"
Mrs. Anglomaniac-"Serve tea in the
drawing-raom at FIVE and dinner at eight
and thirty o'clock. Have no napkins at
breakfast tomorrow, and serve cold
game pates from the sideboard."
Matthew -"Ho, yes, hindeed, num-"
Mrs. Anglomaniac-"And, Mathew,
see that the weather is foggy. I want
his Grace to feel entirely at home"
Matthew-"Ho, yes, hindeed, num-"
-Nep KrE Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
A Soft Answer.

Proprietor Showing party OF ladies
throug gh his eight story factory)-"Yes,
this is high building; but to show you
how easily we can communicate from
one department to the other, I will
whistle up this tube to the foreman OF
the top floor" (Blows through pipe.)
snow, Miss Propcrmau, just place your
ear here and listen to the response.
Response from the top floor fore.
man. who has recently beer pestered
with false calls from the Office boy-"Ye
Satan's own blade. if ye don't let up on
this, I'll come right down and wauup
the life out of ye!"-Argosy.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
RELIGIOUS READING.
Holy Night.

o Holy Night! whose blest approach
Now touches heart and home with Joy,
Lifting from earth her old reproach,
Dispensing shades night would employ
To keep us still from seeking now
The Star of Bethlehem's pure ray,
That, falling soft on lifted brow,
But heralds diviner day
Send thou thy peace, o Holy Night!
On sin-stained Earth, on weary waste,
Till with thy glory all Is bright.
Till to His shrine each step shall haste!
Send light unto the closed eye,
Send speech unto the sealed lip,
That from the first the cloud shall fly,
That for the second Truth shall dip
Her slender finger, then, and touch
The tongue that silent doth remain,
Thus giving from her store, how much
Is only counted by thy gain!
Send faith unto the wavering SOUL
Send joy unto the bruised heart,
That Christmas in its blessed whole
Shall gather each resplendent part
OF glory that this night doth yield,
And lay it at His feet divine
Whose sceptre heaven and earth now WELD
And 10! DER all the Star shall shine!
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
seThe Place Where jesus Name Is"

All the missionary reports, dwell on the
wonderful results Of women's work among
the heather. One Of the most remarkable
comes from Madura, in the Indian Archi-
pelago, and is published in the Missionary
Herald. 1t appears that Biblewoman
gathered little class OF native women TO-
gether, and used to speak to them about
Jesus, reading to them, and explaining his
life Of love. One day a woman who had
been most attentive listener, interrupted
her with:
care all the things you read and tell us
about Jesus written in that bookf'
"Yes. and much more than have yet
told you"
81 want book like it; will you bring me
eyes, I will bring one, but of what use
will it be to you! You cannot road it"
"But l must have the Book that tells
about Jesus"
The next day when the book was given to
her, she clssped it eagerly with both hands,
and touched it lovingly to her lips. Then
opening the bool, she said:
"Show me the place where Jesus name
isn
GAS soon as it bad been pointed out to
her she kissed the sacred page reverently.
Before the Bible-woman left the house the
happy owner of the Book asked that the
place might be marked so that she would al
WAYS find the name Of Jesus.
Another woman, who has only been under
instruction few months, has been much
impressed with the thought that It is her
duty to 60 from house to house, like the
Bible readers, teaching and telling
of the love Of Jesus. Sheis very anxious
to read In the New Testament, and has per-
suaded her husband to help her, SO that she
may learn more rapidly. Not long since she
came early in the morning, and entrented
the Bible woman to 60 with her to neigh
boring village to proach, saying she wished
to begin to tell what she had learned about
Jesus, but was afraid to teach In her own
village where she Yves well-known. for the
people would laugh at her because she knew
so little. Surely God has blessed this branch
of the work in answer to many earnest
prayers.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
A Season for All Things.

Mr.. Schuyler Van Ontwerp Qn sur
prise" Why, 1 thought you knew Dir.
Alushroon"
Miss Anastasia Holland-"Oh, dear,
no."
Mr.. Schuyler Van Ontwerp-"But,
surely, last summer 1 saw you boating
and driving with him at Bar Harbor.
1t was even rumored that you had ac-
cepted him."
Miss Anastasia Holland (petulently)-
"Yes-yes. Ixnow! But will you kindly
understand that we were on driving and
boating terms only2'-LJe.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09

''Now," said her mamma, eff you
turn your face toward the window your
right hand is the one next to the
bureau"
Shortly after this the family being
about to move, this especial bureau was
sold. The next day neighbor, who was
calling on the family, noticed the child's
free use of the left hand.
"Mamie," he said, (which is your
right hand"
III don't know" was the prompt an.
swer. "Mamma has sold the bureau. I"
Judge.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
An insufficient Reason.

"Why mustn't stand up on the
seat?" said a small boy to his mother in
a suburban train the other day.
because know you'll fall over and
knock Miss Blanks hat off," was the
maternal reply.
The small boy remained silent for a
moment, while he took stock OF the hat
on the lady IN front. Then he said in
judicial tones: "Why, mamma, that's
the hat YOU said you'd knock of Miss
Blanks head if you were her mother"
-Ptit,6vrgt Dispatch.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
A Feminine Ouarantine.

"What makes you in such hurry,
my dear?" inquired Mrs. Cobwigger,
meeting her friend in the street.
"Oh, little Johnny has the measels," I"
exclaimed Mrs. Brown. 81 am afraid it
might spread, so I'm going to all my
friends and warn them to be careful. -
NeD York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
Not Encouraging

Dolly-'.Aw, Willie, I must have
made-aw-a tremendous hit with that
little Browson girl; she asked me for
my photo, the otner day."
Willie -'sDid-y' give it to hera"
Dolly--"Yaws, of course"
Willie-"Wel that settles you at that
hou.e, me deah fel. She gives those
photos to the servant girl with 'out
when this one calls" written IN it,
Life.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
The Bigger Half.

"Bobby." said his mother, "did you
give half of the orange to your little
sister2"
"Oh, yes, ma, gave her more than
that" replied Bobby, with a generous
air.
"Did you, indeed, Bobby9 Why,
that was very nice of you."
"Yes, ma, sucked the juice out and
gave her all the rest"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
Poor Hunters.

stranger-"I hear this is great sec.
tion for fox hunting"
Oak Tree Inn Host-"Yes, stree; par
ties come down from the city every fall ;
come in grand style, too; been coming
for years"
isn't there danger that you will run
out of foxes"
mot bit. We are still using the
fox we began with. ."-Philadelphia
Rec0rd.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09

DIR. r. A. EVERETT, of Hillsdale,
Mich, has a wonderful fourteen-year-
old cat. When it was small kitten
the Doctor took it three miles from
home and dropped it. Three weeks
after the cat was found sitting on his
doorstep one morning. At another
time he sent it off into Ohio, and it re-
turned five months later. Since then
the cat has dwelt with the Doctor. and
has shared in the best the house affords.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
His Last Chance.

1T seems to me-" said mother to
young girl who was about to be married,
that your future husband is q little too
exacting; he wants this, that and the
other; l consider him perfect nuis-
ance."
"Well, dear mamma, we can afford to
indulge him for once. Let him have
bis way now-you known twill be the
last time" e."-Jutge.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
High Life Hospitality.

Mrs. Clover-"Run down to the pier,
Calvert, and if the Lentillons come by
this steamer, signal me with your hand
kerchief."
MIR. Clover-"What shall I do if they
don't Gomez"
Mrs. Clover-"Send up rockets and
hire the government band for a iolli6ca-
ton. ."-Time.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
Bftter-Sweet Of iatrimony.

Fannie-"So you are married, Hattie,
and have wealth and all its possibil-
ities?"
Hattie-"Yes, my husband is very
RICH"
Fannie-"And you enjoy it very
much?'
Hattie-"very much indeed"
Fannie-"And your husband?"
Hattie-"Oh, we'll, you know, in this
world, dear, We have to take the bitter
with the sweet."- WashingtonP0St
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
Would Freeze Solid.

cpd like to make myself solid with
that Arctic explorer" said a society
swell to a man about town.
swell, you can do it."
"How?"
eco with him on his next trip to the
pole and wear only your tennis suit."-
NeU York ,'ourna,.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
A Race Of Heroes.

eyes" went on Bigbee, who gener-
ally has something leasaut to say of
Bigbee; Il came of race of brave
men,"
"Absolutely all fearless, eh, Bigbee'"
inquired Downes, in awe"
Fearless" repeated Bigbee, lowering
his voice impressively: "Why, it was an
ancestor of mine who first swallowed a
raw OYSTER"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
A Frigid Fortune.

"Do you see that man, McCrackle9"
81 do, Briggs" "He's worth cool
milliou."
"Why do you use the adjective 'coolP
Would not your information be correct
without it,"
"No; he made it in the ice business,
you see. ."-Drake's Magazine.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09

Mrs. FLORENCE WALL, Of New York,
who has the income of SIS, 900 year
for her own use, says that the annual
allowance of $2,5O0 for her 6-year.old
daughter is too small, and wants it
zaised to at least 1000
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
According to Length.

Young Housewife Ito husband who
says he knows how to cook)-"How
long do ycu broil a chicken, Edwin3"
"Oh-er-how long is the
chicken7"-Lite.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09

James Evelyth, the veteran clerk Of
War Department at Washington, ha.
been in Government service since 1929.
He is now about eighty years of age.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
TEMPERANCE.
The Confession Of King Alcohol

The Confession Of King Alcohol
Come, Alcohol, now answer me
The questions shall put to thee:
What is thine age! What is thine aimf
What is thy trade! What is thy namea
My age is moro than thousand years,
My aim, to I'LL the earth with tears,
My trade to kill and make expense,
My name it is 1ntemperance.
Long have I ruled upon the earth
To every crime I've given birth.
I'm father Of all grief and woe,
/ spread distress whereer l 60.
My dwelling place is at the bar,
My customers are near and far;
/ fill their heads. drain their purse,
And turn their blessings to curse!
I daily breathe poisonous breath!
My drink is liquid fire and death!
My lodging-place is Satan's seat!
My food is filth and serpents' meat!
My face is covered with mask,
Nv hiding place is in cask:
My business is to gender strife,
Anu put aSunuer ndn duu "lIe'
I visit grog-shops all around,
Where Satan is, I'm always found,
] am his waiter day and night,
His service is my chief delight.
He is my captain and my guide,
always stand close hy his side;
I've killed more men, upon my word,
Than famine, pestilence, or sword.
With my deceitful hattering tongue,
] draw to me both old and young,
And when get them in my snare,
] chain them fast and keep them there.
But Temperance men mostly dread,
For they are running my trade,
And if their cause should further go,
Twill prove my final overthrow.
Thus Alcohol disclosed to me
His character and destiny,
Altho' liar from his youth,
He now has blundered into truth.
Then, Temperance men be wide awake,
The foe begins to fear and quake.
Stand to your posts! Go hand in hand!
And drive this monster from the land!
DR.. Edtcard Fl. Carter.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES

First Snow-AccordinS to Length
An Equivocal Compliment
High Life Hospitality The
Bigger Half, Etc, Etc.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
Mamie's Dilemma.

Little Mamie, being inclined to be
ambidexterious, had great difficulty in
distinguishing her right hand.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09

"Oh, what in the world does this meauF
Asked the little Georgia maiden,
When first she observed the scene
OF the earth with snow drifts laden.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
An Euuivocal Compliment.

sTm sure Mr.. Merritt won't say I'm
getting deaf" said Miss Spider, appeal
ingly:
'Oh, no." he replied. "There's very
little you don't ar."-NeU YorG Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-01-09
Then her uncle looked at the Miss,

Then her uncle looked at the MISS,
And out through the pane frostcrusted; {;
And he murlnured: ut tmeans just this
That the summer has exodusted."
Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-02-07
THE POLICE COMMISSION.

Several UnimpOrtant Matters Con-
sidered Yesterday.
The Police Commissioners met yester-
day afternoon, Mayor Bryson in the
chair and Councilman Kuhrts and Chief
Cooney present.
Or. Choate appeared and stated that
Officer Dorsey had contracted sickn ess
in the pursuit of his duty, and he had
recommended that his salary be allowed,
as provided by ordinance. He was di
rected to have the matter taken before
the Council first.
The applications of P. Welch and NJ
Faure for changes of saloon licenses we're
referred to the Chief for investigation.
Licenses were granted to u. Kurtzel
and G. Mehl.
DR.. Bryant's resolution, introduced in
the Council and referred to the Police
Commission, in reference to the suppress.
sion of gambling, came up. Mr.. Kuhrts
said that the games were being raided
properly by the Chief, and that over 90
arrests had been made for gambling dur.
ing January.
Officer Bosqui appeared and asked to
be appointed as special, but was in
formed that there were no vacancies.
The Board then adjourned.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-02-07
WILSON'S PEAK.
A Telescope to be Placed Their
Temporarily.

A Telescope to be Placed There
Temporarily.
Fifteen men were put to work Tuesday
morning on what is known as Wilson g
trail, that is the road leading to the sum-
NIT Of Wilson's Peak, where the big
telescope and observatory is to be
located. 1t is given out that the 13-inch
lens telescope which was sent out to the
Wilson's in charge of Professor Pickering,
80 that that gentlemen could witness the
eclipse of the sun, is to be brought to
Wilson's Peak inside of three weeks. II
will only be there about six or seven
months, however, as it is then to go to
South America with an astronomical
expedition in charge of Professor Picker.
ing. The telescope which weighs two tons
is now being boxed for shipment to this
city, and will arrive in few days, and
meantime Mr.. N. @. Carter and Judge
Eaton, who have been appointed COM
mittee to arrange for it's handling in this
district, will have everything ready for
its reception. The trail by which the
observatory will be reached commences
at Carterhia, at the end of Baldwin ave-
avenue, and will be in good condition in
q few days.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-02-07
THE FIRE BOARD.

A short Session with Small
Amount of Business.
The Fire Commissioners held short
session yesterday morning. Mayor Bry-
son, Councilmen Kuhrts and Hanley and
Chief Moriarty and Assistant Miles
present.
A petition of property owners in the
vicinity Of South Main and Jefferson
streets for fire hydrant was referred tc
the Chief.
A resolution offered by Councilmon
Threlkeld to have larger mains placed on
Boyle avenue, Chicago and Soto streets,
Boyle Heights, was referred to the Chief,
to consult wi the water company.
A petition to have hydrant placed al
the west end of the Buena Vists-street
bridge and one at the junction of Buena
Vista and Solano streets, was referred tc
the Council.
Mrs. G. d. Luccock requested permis.
sion to erect small portable gallery, fol-
Photographic business, on Spring street.
between Fifth and Sixth, on lot now
occupied as a wood and coal yard. Re-
ferred to the Chief.
The Mayor called the attention of the
Board to the egress of Mott Hall. The
Chief was instructed to look into the
matter, as we'll as several other places ol
amusement, churches and public halls.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-02-07
The Supervisors.

The Board OF Supervisors met yester-
day, pursuant to adjournment, all mem
bers present.
A petition of the publishers of the Court
Journal was placed on file.
Monday, the 11th inst, was set for the
hearing of petition from J. w. Scott,
asking for the franchise for street rail
road from Santa Monica to the Soldiers
Home.
Meesrs. Stafford, Sweitzer and Vawter
were appointed appraisers OF the Penn
sylvania Avenue Extension road, which
will be declared a public highway on
presentation of the proper deeds.
The name Of the Santa Monica boule-
ward and Washington street was, on mo-
ton, changed to National Boulevard.
z A warrant for 5000 was ordered drawn
in favor of Mrs. Coronel on presentation
of proper deed for Washington street,
the Palms and Santa Monica boulevard.
H. s. Chapellear and J. G. Ray were
appointed deputy sheriffs at salary OF
| 500 month each.
1t was agreed to lease safes for the use
of the Treasurer for two years at rental
of $50 per month.
The contract for supplying meat to the
| County hospital was transferred from W..
B. Clinton to Mr.. Cohn.
The contract for building the Santa
Anita bridge was awarded to Steadman
& Smith on the usual conditions.
Supervisor Perry was appointed com.
mittee to attend to the foundation oi
Judge Venable's house on Temple
street.
G. w. Knox was employed to collect
from the State the per capita tax on
aged indigents at the same rate as here.
tofore allowed.
Reconsideration of the motion of yes
terday in regard to certified check was
allowed.
Supervisor Martin moved that here
after check for $50 accompany all bids
for bonds to cover the expense of print
ing and advertising, in case such may be
necessary.
A petition from E. A. De Camp, ask
ing for supply of maps, was ordered
placed on file.
B. Fehnenann was allowed the use of
the old benches, formerly used as the
seats of the old pioneers.
Adjourned till to-day at 10 O'Clock.