The Washington critic., 1889-01-31
PENCIL SKETCHES.
"Say, Jenkins, when does she receive
That lovely widow, Coffcrgn
"Why, every day, do believe,
Some money-hunters Offer
uAh thnnlsi ttia .,erv ,,iain I'm son


The 81. Paul Globe says: IA man who won't
keep his sidewalks shovoed oil this winter is
too mean TO live" In this part of the country
this winter II would be q very mean man who
did shovel off his sidewalk The sidewalk
Is an institution that we would like to see pre-
served, and at the same time-as far as Wash
ington is oncerned-improved
THAT small man on tho sofa," remarked
guide to his patron at the Capitol, 'is Mr..
Cox of New York"
"What Cox ~ asked the interested
stranger
"wby Sunset Cox, late Minister to
"YoTu don't say so SO Well, IL he's tho
horem-scarum man they say he is, why don't
he wear green cravatpn Then he added.
"IIe doesn't look harom enough TO scare 'em,
anyhow"
"Ah, ~ said the street-car conductor
"that old woman will have to walk back two
blocks. She don't know q street when sho
sees It," Aud then, as he pulled the check.
'say; ma'am, you've passed your place"
"Ihank you, SIR" said the old lady, as sh o
carefully helped herself down.
Last week at q dinner party given by very
popular gentleman Of this city, who is exceed
ingly fond Of field sports, and whose astonish.
ing success with the breech-loader is matter
of wonder to his friends one OF the guests
told the following story:
'I was up In Maine not long since, and
having my attention called to n handsome
building In the suburbs of the town where
had to remain few days, friend informed
me that IL was an asylum for liars, aud that
q N n IN nd xga nm oh tOfn
man, who would be glad to inform me of the
plan upon which the institution was con-
Quoted.
81 called at once, and was politely shown
through. In one OF the wards where there
were half dozen respectable-looking gentle
men. all reading newspapers, my attention
was attracted by q conversation which arose
between two OF them.
III see" said one, dropping his paper, ''that
there has been good fish season In the upper
Kennebec, and that reminds me of the forty
pound trout caught there last spring"
"Oh, no, you are mistaken, 1t could not
have weighed forty pounds" remarked ar
other, who only looked up from his journal.
III reckon know what Pm saying" re-
turned the first. ~ had an awful time with
that fish. broke a fine splt.bamboo rod
and nearly ruined Kentucky reel, but l
finally landed him, and saw him weighed
He pulled down exactly forty pounds.n
VI know you are, because nearly five years ago
the Legislature OF Maine passed q law requir-
ing holes to be bored In the upper Kenncbec
so that all fish under fifty pounds should drop
through, and for the last four years at least It
has been impossible for forty-pound fish to
remain there"
"That's not So" said the first, "becausc II
the holes were there the water would all run
out"
"Ah," retorted the second, shut the same
Legislature passed law that the water should
not go through the holes.n
This seemed to satisfy the first speaker for
he gave up the subject and resumed his read
ing,
When we left the ward the superintendent
| said: "Now, sir, that Is q fair illustration Of
our method OF treatment. The man who claimed
to have caught the forty-pound trout is pa
tient, an amateur liar, and the other one is
an attendant, regular professional liar. The
| professional always gets away with the anna
teur, until finally the amateur grows tired OF
| being beaten and gives up. We then discharge
him as practically cured.
~ thanked the superintendent for his kind.
| ness" said the narrator, "and suggested To
| him that II n first-class professional hunting
liar, a truly picturesque kshot-gun liar, would
| be OF use to him, he might find one In my
friend, Judge Dick Jones, who is giving thii
| dinner"
Judge Jones enjoyed 1t quite as much as hil
| guests because he is really first-class shot,
and never fails to bring home the feathers.
There was ball at the National Hotel last
night, and in one quadrille Congressman Can.
hon of Illinois, Fisher OF Michigan and Weber
| of New York took a hand, or several hands
| for that matter, and they "hoed It DOWN. aftel
the most varied order of Terpschore. Mr..
| Weber dances with sinuous, languid grace
which is redolent of Southern lasstude, al
though he learned to ''shake the heel' in Q
Northern cline; Mr.. Fisher is much more pro.
nounced In his measures, and he bows to the
| ladies and all-hands-'r In the airy-fairy
manner of the W. and W. west; Mr.. Cannon
is combination dancer; he glides through the
| figures with the bewitching cadence of q beau
tiful aria through the measures Of an opera
anon he relapses into the ravishing abandon o.
the Nautch girls dance; again he indulges IL
| the weird, wild wanderings of Wabasl
double-shuffle, and he tangles his toes In tn,
strains of the quadrille music in such be
| wilderment of harmony that those who SCI
him involuntarily burst into applause.
After the quadrille Mr.. Cannon was seer
pirouetting through waltz, and In this his
attainments are as varied and his versatility al
comprehensive as in the less difficult dances
and he can hold lady In his arms us deli
cately as tho blue vault OF the heavens holds
star. That's the kind of a social success Mr.
Cannon of Illinois is. Another graceful
dancer Is Congressman Grimes OF North Caro-
lima, who waltzes with such light fantastic
step that no one would think he had Learned
to trip upon puncheon floor. Congressman
Richardson and Senator Reagan were ais,
present. You should sec the Senator iron
Texas dance.
Mrs. Cleveland has her fine shoes made b.
Gardner, on Pennsylvania avenue, and TIL
Knight Of Crispin, while rejoicing In such pa
tronage, says life is almost made burden u
him by the persistent efforts of other womel
to discover what Size she wears The othc
day Mrs. Cleveland came into the Store an,
left an order for slippers. There were severa
ladies present, and when Mrs. g. went ou
the first question was, "What size does sl
wearP" He put them off politely, aud thei
they invaded his order book, but the pumbe
had not been entered. ''Why don't you pu
it down in the book ?" they inquired, in dis
appointed tone. He said 1t was not neces
sary, because he had her measure and iha
was enough. They flshed around for furthe
information, but without success, aud fnal
gave it up as bad job. This is only one of
dozen instances of woman's curiosity abou
women, or women's curiosity about woman
The Parnell Commission Inquiry.
During the session OF the Parnell Commis
sion in London, England, yesterday the read