The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-05-16
NUMBER IL. - =.
PuNesNT PARAGRAPHS.


From the way society women start
on the stage, it would appear that there
is always room-at the top.-Puck.
-Husband-"I'm feeling awfully
queer this morning, my dear" Wife
-''Well, you needn't be alarmed. It's
because you are sober. Boston Bud
get.
Mrs. Gabb (reading)-"Wakefeld
has millionaire who sleeps in the
barn with his horse" Mr.. Gabb (bru-
tally)-"Well, horses don't talk
Philadelphia Record.
One of the curiosities never seen
in the dime museums is the man who
is deaf, and knows he is deaf, and still
is willing to admit it-Somerville
Journal.
The valentine business was created
to catch soft-heads, and it is the only
day in the year that the old fool and
the moon-struck youth can call their
own.-Detroit Free Press.
Only Half the ob.-Hobbs--.''I
understand that Dobson's wife is Ger
man, and that he mastered the German
language to win her." Jones-"Well,
he must have expended all his ener-
gies on the language, then. He has
never mastered her. Burlington Free
Press.
Daughter. aged 33 (facetiously)-
Papa, / found dozen gray hairs in
my head this morning and pulled them
out. Don't you give me away, though. y
Father (sighing heavily)-''Give you
away, Emily? I've abandoned all hope
it."-Chicago Tribune.
1t is asserted that nearly all the
idols now worshiped in India are of
English manufacture. John Bulls
principle would seem TO be, .'Let me
but make the idols of country and /
care not who makes its religion. IN.
Y. Tribune.
The term gentleman horseman,"
which is now frequently used, is a
curiosity worthy of a place in any
museum. There has not yet appeared
such thing as LADY horsewoman,
but no one can tell what the future
may bring forth in the way of syntacti-
cal horrors. s.-Chieago News.
-''Your honor" said a lawyer to the
! judge, every man who knows me,
knows that am incapable of lending
myself to a mean cause. That
so" said his opponent; "the learned
gentleman never lends himself to a
cause; he always gets cash down.
Whats the matter, Smithers-
don't your books balanceP' e'No. the
expense side, thanks to my wife dress
makers bills, completely outweighs
the income side. | tell you, Jones.
marriage isn't exactly failure. but it
comes mighty near bankruptcy. -
Harper's Bazaar
-"Come home with me, and we'll
have little game of draw" said Cob
wigger to his friend my wife will
be away" "How do you know she
willP" inquired Merit. Because, ;"
was the convincing reply, ''her new
bonnet came from the milliner's last
night, and she's sure to be out all day.
IN. Y. Sun.
RECIPES sent IRON pure love OF
humanity" (on receipt of stamps) for
cures of various diseases, generally
contain ingredients not obtainable at
druggists, and the philanthropie be-
slower. in his solicitude for the aff1ict-
ed, must himself put up and sell the
bottle of medicine. Abby Morton Diaz.
THE editor down the street, -
writes Kansas editor, with whitening
scorn, ''should go to school during the
winter months so that the teacher can
learn him something about grammar.
We have seen bdn writer's before but
we never seen one who could crowd so
many grammatical erratum into a sim
gle sentence. kansas City Star.