New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-08-25
AT ODDS WITH DEATH.

I am small and plain and fifty. / have always
been snail and PLAIN, but have not always peeh
City No there was time long ago, tme When
lived in the Fatherland, and had no Thought OF
leaving nv native land, when was quite young
not more than seventeen was as PLAIN then
though as am now; and, indeed, THINK must
have been palmer; for Frau ldemann, VINO came
10 see me when she was in England short Time
ago and who had not seen me since was mute
GIRL told me had improved was rather pleased
st the time: but afterward when she had gone
AWAY and / went with little feeling Of salts
faction 10 look at myself i'll the mirror over the
mantelYece, | was not pleased at all; Tor l
thought, if / had improved since the days OF my
Grlhcod, how very ugly my glrlhoods lace muSt
have been.
But All that does not matter now. 1t might
have mattered once. perhaps; and, indeed, If L
had been pretty aud had been asked in marriage
40 doubt the whole course OF my lille would nave
of the young men ever cared to talk to me or 10
be with me and, while was still quite a girl
knew that the happiness that came 10 the otner
girls would never come TO me; Although but, as
/ say, il Is all over now and does not mater II
there any bitterness IN those y0nthlul uaye,
the bitterness has passed away with the days
themselves and left the memory of them sweet;
and now as grow old, have no more troubles.
nothing to or distress me-eXcept only Wheh
thoughts Of that awful time, fourteen years ago.
come and terrify me with the mere recollectlons
OF what / passed through. They give me bad
times still, those memories, and Will / say, Ilii
I die though Katchen says they Will fade away
gradually; bat Hatcher does not know smile
and nod nv head when she assures me of my
coming forgetfulness; but in my heart 1 say,
Doch nichti'
In one way it all happened because Of Hatcher:
and yet, | suppose, if il was 10 happen, IT would
have happened anyhow; and in any case, fol
hatcher sake would Oh 40 not Know.
If | had TO choose whether | would go through
IL all again, or whether katchen should not have
been born, j do not know, L really do not know
how / should decide. / love Katchen with all
my heart would give my life willingly for hers;
and yet-that timc-that agony. On, God be
praised. say |. that 1t is not left to us to choose
Well. to 90 to the beginning of my suilerngs,
we must get to the beginning of hatcher; and
Hatcher began on this wise. When was eighteen
years old my father married a second wife, and
ten months after the marriage katchen came into
the world and her mother went out OF lt.Just as
my mother had gone when had come. My step
mother was rather pretty fair woman weak in
character as well as In constitution She had
blue eyes and long, straight hair. and what l
used TO think very simpering mouth But the
mouth not at all simpeIing that day she put
the little baby into my arms IL was only
very pitlful and pleading as the faint trembling
voice said Love her Emiliea l could not find
voice TO answer her. felt very bad in my heart;
but think my poor stepmother understood that
4 meant to do my best, and her last look was
up from the sleeping baby into my face.
became at once passiOnately fond of Katchen.
/ reflected in triumph that was now as we'll off
as any of my pretty friends, with their lovers and
their husbands and their children, who were often
so tresOmc and ill-bebayed. l had the sweetest
baby in the whole of Germany 20 be all mine
mine as much ms if | had been its mother: and as
the child began TO learn TO know me, to hold out
its little arms to come TO me- TO smile when lifted
i out OF its lite cot my heart swelled with de
light and gratitude as | thought that here at
last was somebody who did not think me ugly
All went well for a time. but by-and-by trouble
came trouble for me and for Kat
chen, My father 49,, fell fell Ill, IL and was
ings had 10 be dipped into TO keep the household
going, and to pay the doctors bill. At last, after
pcnses and few little deb1s here and there were
paid, there was hlrdly any money left-only enough
TO last week or two at most What was to be
done TO earn bread for me. and Katchen? l
thought and thought and at last ! resolved to try
and earn some money by teaching. People had
often told me | WAS clever. | had always been
sorrowful and angry when they said so, for l
knew it was 10 console me for not being pretty,
and would much rather have been pretty than
clever. But now was glad CleveritsS was of
more to Hatcher than beauty would have
been, for people were very pleased to have me to
teach their children and for many years | was
able 10 support both myself and my little sister
We had very few new clothes, and did not eat
meat every day but we had plenty of bread-at
least hatcher midland our quiet life was very
happy one. By-and-by, however, as Katchen grew
Older. il necessary that she should have bet
ter teaching than | could give her: and when she
was fourteen years old, made up my mind TO send
her as a pupil to cousin Of my mothers. who
had large bOarding-schOol in Dresden After a
little difficulty everything was arranged. l was
10 pay my cousin twenty-five pounds a year, and
katchen. who was clever with her needle and very
ulngent, was 10 help with the darning and mend
ing, and 10 look after and teach some of the
younger children. As for me, resolved TO go TO
England. l had heard that good German gov
ernesses were well paid in English fame, and
hoped that besides earning enough 10 pay my
sisters school expenses ! should be able to save
some money toward making home for her and
me, where we might take some English girls to
board and teach and live and work together
But In the meantime Katchcn and must nart |
VIII not speak of the parting Of the dreaFineSs of
our little room when was left alone in it, of the
loneliness OF my long journey will only say that
,h sun ald not shine the day / arrives in Eng /
mhn ana that there was but one thought / dared
katchen. Wi" "i0N'' foi