The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-27
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE wouldn't have been any milk in the
cocoanut II some dairymen had had the con-
struction Of it.-Ieras SJtiR0s
WIDOW who owns a stock range in Colorado
IS no longer called a cattle queen" She is a
grass widow. San +. dncisco Alta.
BEFORE Offering yourself to the plump
looking to0oggan girl you met last winter, PSF
haps II would De as well to wait until you see
her on the beach this slmmer.-Life.
cIERK-Isn't he price of this box of straw
berries low enough for your"
Customer-O, the price IS low enough The
bottom Of the box isn't, though.-Nelo York
Sun.
SITTING Bull declares that he will hold out
against the white man TO the last ditch, and no
one oiameS him any. What's the use of being
an Indian II you don't act like one.-DetToft
Nfee res
PATIENr-Frankly. now doctor, what do you
think IS the matter with me?
FRANKLY, my dear sir; | haven't the least idea
out We snail know all about it after the au-
topsy.-SoHleruflte Journal
ALsERNoN-Say, grandpa, here's picture of
Roman oanqust, and they are all lying down
60 eat They don't do that way now, do theyg
Grandpa-Er-wel, yes, there is more or less
lying done at public dinners stIH.-Grip.
HAVE you any cash tonight. Nedgn
Lei me see- Yes I've dollar and some
All! some sense! Well, that will keep you
from spending the dollar for whisky. judge.
A COMMERCIAL PARADox.-Customer-
hothsteln, WHO'S that man doing all that yelling
ana screaming and swearing at the cerAs in the
rear of the store!
RoJhStein-On, dot vos Rosenberg. der silent
pardner.-Ptct
he EWES THE Charlottesville. Slowpay,
do you know why the car of Russia would
MAKE success IN TIE grocery buSlneSSl
Mr.. Slowpay-No, don't think l do.
Wen, its because he doesn't trust anybody. ="
-Teros Stfttngs.
FESDERsoS-I don't like your friend Brown.
de IS positively rude He went SO far last
evening as u tell me was a jackaSs 1t was
entirely uncalled for.
F gg-I az. ee with you. my boy. 1t was
entirely Experimentation Traveller.
STRATEGY. -Photographer-My dear sir. can't
you assume a more smiling c0untenance and
throw of that jaded look?
Rev. v. V. Heighton-Take me as I am
need vacation this summer. and these pict-
ures are for distribution among my parishioners.
Life.
KNEW OF ogE.-'Does any one know of a
really peaceaoie member Of the Clan-na- Gael?''
said an orator, addressing a meeting of the
American party.
Yes" voice shouted.
Il want TO see him. Where Is hef"
I'm the morgue?'-ArkdnSa1 IraueIer
not booming your state very much at the pres
ent time, are yous
Kansas UlLIzea-No, we are not advertising a.
all now; but walt till the cyclcne period arrives.
and you will see The name OF our glorious com,
monwealth in every paper you pick up Omaha
World.
MISIsrER-Ah. Mr.. Pillar, the church is sadly
in need of funds
ParishioRer--What's wanted?
Il have started a subscription to buy the new
organ and another for the poor OF the parish y
Il can't contribute to both."
Then subscribe to the organ fund "-PhiEn-
delppsa Tines.
INTERNATIONALLY STIgGY-''Bromley, it was
lucky that that newsboy found your wallet.
wasn't its"
Yes. 1t had ten thousand in it."
| But you only gave the boy. twenty-cent
piece"
Why. bless my soul! thought it was a
| quarter. Time.
| HAVE, somewhat to my own surprise, lately
| come into possession of small literary income
have somewhat the same feeling about it that
| had when rec lived check for my first arti.
| Gle printed in the Atlantic Month D: it did not
| seem TO belong TO me. / therefore expended it
| for Christmas presents, and my children were
| somewhat surprised at my unwonted liberality
I The next year, not having received check. nv
| presents were smaller, and my little girl asked
| me why did not give them more Il have nc
money to spend this year, =" l replied At which
| she rejoined: We'll, papa. thinx you might
| write another article for the atlantic: anuoe al
| might do thatl'-EdiUard Atkinson in Lend a
| Hand,