The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1889-09-20
THE LlMEx;sN CLUB.
Brother Gardner suppres.es an Insurr.

IL became evident, as soon as the
members began to gather in Paradise
Hall. that something unusual was on
the carpet. The Rev. Penstock had
very important look on his counte-
nance, and Colonel Kabiff and Judge
kahoots had their hands crossed un-
der their coat-tails and paced up and
down like Romans of old. On the
other hand, Waydown Bebee, Samuel
Shin. Stepback Smith, Shindig Wat
klns and others drew away by them
selves and entered into whispered con-
sultation. 1t looked as if there was
trouble in the air, but the members
were communicative. Surprise was
added to- mystery by Sir Isaac Walpole
taking the presidents chair when the
hour arrived for opening the meeting.
He. however, explained that Brother
Gardner had been called to point one
hundred miles away to see his father
die. and that he was not expected back
before the morrow.
Two or three reports of committees
were made without interruption, and
the Penstock crowd then showed the
cloven foot in earnest. Penstock led
the advance himself. Having secured
the floor he said:
''Misser President, / rise to a pint
of order. 1t has for some time been ru-
mored about dat de finanshul standin'
OF dis club did not correspond wild de
monthly reports. Desc rumors may be
true or may be false. While l hev de
moas' perfect faith in de honesty of de
Finanshul Committee. it seems wise to
sOt desc rumors at rest. / shall dar-
fore move dat we suspend all odder
bizness an purceed to an investigashun
OF accounts"
1t was a bombshell. For one long
minute the silence was so intense that
the ticking of the twenty-eight watches
carried by as many members sounded
like thrashing machines at work. Then
Colonel Kabiff supported the motion,
and Prof. Resumption j ones and Judge
Circulation Davis, the two members of
the Financial Committee present, arose
to their feet gasping for breath. Sir
Isaac waved them down and inquired
of the Rev. Penstock:
'.Brudder Penstock, does you know
dat our president am de charm of
dat committee?"
II does, sah," was the suave reply.
IAN you persist in your moshunp"
II believe it best to sot desc rumors
at rest, sah."
IF understand dis moshun, you
want to see whether de committee has
bin honest or dishonest?'
II want to sot rumors at rest, sah."
There were calls of question: .'or-
der?' and several other things all over
the hall, and confusion reigned SUI
preme for moment When Sir Isaac
had quelled the uproar by free use of
his gavel, Waydown Bebee, Elder
Toots, Anthony Smith, Judge Lom-
bard and others denounced the motion
and the motioner in the most vigorous
terms. The Elder and his friends an
swered back in equally vigorous lam
guage, and during the tilt some one hit
Spot Cash Green in the left eye with
new potato, and an empty ink bottle
smashed against Prof. Oldenham's jaw.
The Penstockites were seeking to force
a vote on his motion when a sudden
hush fell upon those nearest the door
and gradually spread to the further
end of the hall.
Brother Gardner had put in an ap-
pearance!
The doorkeeper had posted him as
to what had been going on. and there
was gunpowder in the old mans eye as
he looked over the assemblage. Not
advanced to his desk and took the
gavel from the hands of Sir Isaac
He waited thirty seconds and then
said:
..All in favor of Brudder Penstock's
moshun will say aye"
There were only two voices-Pen-
stock and Kahoots. Colonel Kabiff
had gone down into his boots.
Contrary. no"
There was a yell which seemed to
lift the roof.
'.De noes hewitt" said Brother Gard
ner. Samuel Shin, lock dat doahr'
A hush fell upon the hall again.
''Gemlen," said the president, after
moment, ''you all know de motive
dat actuates Brudder Penstock in desc
proceedings. He ar ambishus to hold
offs. He can't git Office. He is one of
de rule or ruin sort. He doan' believe
dat dis committee is dishonest, but he
wants to hit at its reputashun. hev
bin much trubbled by his waywardness,
an dis axshun of his tonight puts de
cap-sheaf on. De time has arrove fur
me to act"
II resign from dis club" announced
the elder.
''Your resignation am not 'cepted,"
answered the president as he began to
peel off.
When he had removed coat, vest and
collar he calmly descended, advanced
upon Penstock, and next moment there
was circus. A tornado lifted Pen
stock high in air and played with him,
and when it let go he lay limp and
broken across the bench. Then some
thing took hold of Kahoots and mussed
him up and tied him in hard knots
and left him under de stove to wonder
If an earthquake had come or dam
given away
'Gem'le n," said Brother Gardner, as
he returned to the platform, ..parlia