Morning journal and courier., 1889-09-17
TR UE.

It is too bad that the folks who have no money to pay for meal should have such good appetites.-The Epoch.
 Little Clara (who is crying because her papa is going to marry again. Oh, what would my poor mamma say If she were alive?-Chicago Ledger.
 It is mean St. Louis man who says that Chicago people after they die always think they have got to heaven, whether they really have or not.-Somerville Journal.
 "I thought you told me, sir, that you were young man of regular habits" cried old Dr. Quackenbush as his now assistant reeled into the hall last night. "So am, responded the young man; ''so am. Finish ish one of lem. !" Buffalo Courier.
 Maiden-What can woman do when a man that has won her affection refuses to marry her. Lawyer-Is he richs "No; hasn't cent" "She can appoint a day of general thanksgiving and invite both | families to participate. ."-Nsw York Weekly. The bottom of a we'll near Rome, Ga., fell ! ont, "dropping the workmen," we are told, fsin a cave several miles in length, with | chambers of various sizes" This story completely demolishes the axiom that truth lies at the bottom of a we'll. ll."-Norristown Herald.
 l A Serious Mistake father-'tWel
 that's the last time I'll ever be fool enougf
 to give any of my daughters a weddin. check" Mother-"Why Charless there'
 nothing wrong, hope" Enraged father
 "Yes, but there Is. That fool of son-in law has gone and had it cashed. Judge.
 Our people wanted the railroad so badly
 before it was built that they were willing tt have their horses, cattle, hogs, and half thei now let the train scare up flock of sparrow
 and some fellow breaks for the Court Hous and looks about for good investment fo his damage money.-Hawesville (Ky.) PlaiI
 Dealer.
 ! The correspondent who wants to know
 Chow to cook cabbage without having al
 odor in the house' is informed, in the ab
 sence of the expert who conducts our house
 hold department, that another good way i l to boil the cabbage in the middle of ten
 acre lot, and keep the doors and windows o
 the house tightly closed while it is cooking l-Norristown Herald.
 "George," remarked Mrs. Jackhigh to he husband, "who is this Sam Taylor I hear ' you and Major Johnson talking about Is b ! a good waiter9" IA good waiter, my dear
 What do you meana' "Why, I heard yo tell the Major that down at the club the oth CT night, Sam Taylor came in with tra , full and dropped his pile, and thought h , must have been very careless" And the ! G6OrS6 SdLeu ouu oI tue WluuoW WAeA O A"i away look in his eyes.-Life The curtain had risen on the last act the play, and the diabolical plot of the vi lain was about to be exposed in all it's hide | ousness. Suddenly there was a commotion near th entrance, and voice called out breathlessll
 'Is Dr. Kallowmsll in the audience" 8 With the grave preocoupied manner of , man on whose skill the life of some fellow 4 U s-lA x11
 from his seat near the stage and passe
 slowly down ths aisle.
 "What is it," he asked. "Doctor," said the breathless man, as drew from his vest pocket batch of folds f documents, "I'm Spotcssh & Co.'s new co
 lector. Would 1t be convenient for you
 settle that little bill this evening. g."-Chicat k | Trfhnne