St. Paul daily globe., 1889-02-11
The Hungry Horde Of Office
Seekers Bears Down on
the Capital.
A Few viii Be Chosen and the
Remainder Will Board the
Swearing Train.
How Maj. Stofer, Of the st.
Louis Republic, Stirred Up
the Home Office.
A Scheme for the Sinking Of
Millions in a Magnificent
Public Park.

Special Correspondence of the Globe.
WASHINGTON, Feb. S.--When George
William Curtis uttered his famous po-
litical prophesy concerning the Demo-
cratic party at the Chicago convention
i'll 1884, referring to the horde OF ''vefy
hungry, and as you may well believe,
very thirsty Office seekers OF that
party, he simply stated a truism which
is notable to-day. This city is filling up
rapidly with the hungry and thirsty of
the Republican party. Strange what
glamof and glitter there is about pub
lie Office. 1t reminds one of the cry Of
the street. vender Of patent medicine.
who said: ssIt is good for all cutaneous
cruptions of the flesh, and every we'll
regulated family should have bottle in
the house," 1t seems that every Re-
publican family in the land feels the
immediate need of an office. They are
not waiting for the victors to get their
grapnels into the hide of power. but,
like the Oshkosh policeman, they are
here. You remember the trained clown
was dressed as tramp, and came into
the ring to ride the tricll-mule.
He appeared to be drunk and
was boisterous, kicking the mule
and fighting the ringmaster, who
cried: Police. police! Take this
fellow out. Why is it that you can
never find policeman when you want
one?" Thereupon the burly Teuton
who was under the canvas grabbed the
supposed drunken man and was march
ing off with him when the ringmaster
explained that it was joke and part Of
the play. But the Dutch bluecoat. az
rested his man, eXclaimins as he LETT
the ring: "Vep you says We're is dose
Oshkosh 5oleece, wants you to know
dot dose Oshkosh boieece Vas hier."
Whoever wants to know where to find
the Republican ofiiceseeker, the fellow
who wants the best places, must know
that 'they vos her. Many OF them
will find that their presence in Wash
ington is grim. hungry joke. Many
think themselves called, but few will
be chosen. Under the new administra-
ton, as under the present, the office
will. in most cases, seek the man, and
the fellow who seeks The office vii! be
led to see, as through glass darkly,
can't reach it.
Fred Mussey, of the Cincinnati Com
mercial Gazette. is writing an interest
ing column for the Washington Post,
under the caption "Topical Talk" Col.
Fred has been ill recently, and during
bis temporary alteration of digestion
Frank Hatton wrote the column for
himself. He inserted paragraph about
Mussey's war experience and made
some exceedingly funny illusions to
the bellicOse prowesS of his brilliant
contributor, and now that he is OH his
feet the gallant colonel says: "Frank
was soldier once himself; only little
lit of a soldier, il is true, but enough of
a soldier for me to work him. One OF
these days, when Frank is away, Pm
going to run in a paragraph about his
remarkable experience with sutier In
an Ohio regiment, and I'll make Hat
toms hair curl"
Referring to the possible appointment
OF a Massachusetts man to a cabinet p0-
sition, well-known attorney before
congress and the departments saws:
"lf he is made member of the cabinet
l have no favor to ask except to be able
to ride home with him i'll his carriage
twice week. And that reminds me
of the story they used to tell on Maj.
Beverly Tucker, away back i'll the six
ties. Tucker and Stephen A. Douglas
were intimate friends. In October,
when Douglas was sure of election. he
and Beverly Tucker were meliOWing
down at Hancock's famous restaurant,
when Douglas said: ''Bcy, il [ am
elected, what Office do you want?" The
Virgnian looked lovingly at the little
giant and said: Nothing but this.
Steve After you are inaugurated [
want you to put your arms around my
neck, in the presence OF the boys, and
call me Dear Old Bev.' Ii you'll do
that. I'll get rich too fast to ever want
an Office Of any kind" There is rubi-
cund richness in the suggestion. Who
ever is abe to stand forth as the es-
pecial friend Of president or a cab
met officer in this city, can have gold
brought and poured into his lap.
They are telling a very funny story
about Mai. Stofer, late of the st. Louis
Republic. 1t seems Stofer was at the
races, or something equally absorbing,
and entered his Office late at night, sans
news, sans energy, sans verye, sans
hustle. He found asplendid local story
in Baltimore paper concerning a Mis-
souri, man, and hastily clipped it out,
marked it Especial to the Republic"
and fired it into the telegraph Office.
The next morning he received a tele-
gram from the home Office, asking why
in thunder he had telegraphed the Baiti
more market as news" TO st. Louis
paper. 1t turned out that St0fer had
pasted his matter wrong side up. In
stead of sending his good story he had
pasted that down. and left the market
report to be sent and the st. Louis paper
received word that in Baltimore lard
was worth Is cents, butter 25 cents. po-
tatoes S1.13 per bushei, etc. Stofer is
one of the best fellows in the world;
which is demonstrated by the fact that
he enjoys good joke, even when it is
of us want the joke on some other fel-
low.
There is a great scheme on foot here.
Tt is the purchase. by the government of
the sterile and unmarketable hills along
Rock creek for the purpose of making
a public park. Undoubtedly Washing
ton need bear garden, in addition to
the Cave of the Winds on Capitol
hill, ordinarily yclept the house of rep
resentatives; but the conundrum arises.
90 Tue peoEie, tiic ueaI peopie VI IhS
United States. banker after the thing?
OF course the land owners want to sell
their useless wastes. A park with mag
niticent lakes, at cost of something
less than $40, 900, would be grand for
the national capital. The local news
papers seem to have been ''seen'' on
the project. Adjacent village lots
could be sold at fancy figures, and all
the paraphernalia of shrewd steal are
apparent: but are the people groaning
in spirit for the deal? The whole coun-
try would be proud to know that the
national park at Washington had an
immense geological garden, with seals,
otters, beavers, bears, foxes and
gophers, as we'll as coyotes; but are the
4 merriam nannle anxinls TO have their