Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-01-09
A SAD BAKER BOY.
He Pays Dearly for 3 Thorough
Lesson in Etiquette
Little Johannes Strikes . Lot OF Psssen-I
gers Who Seriously Object to Flour,
and After - Few Mishaps Finds
Himself Outside OF the Car.

AT least one German bakers boy in this
city knows more about elevated railway eti-
quette to-day than he did yesterday, says
the New York Herald
Johannes-he confded to me with many
blubberings that his name was Johannes,
when his brief but exceedingly fruitful
experience was over-Johannes took the
train at the City Hall Station at six o'clock,
when there is the usual rush for home.
There was considerable of him, and it was
most thoroughly covered with the whitest
kind of white flour. Never, certainly. was
there more thoroughly befloured individ-
ual There was not a spot about him as
large as a ten-cent piece that was not COW
cred with the emblem of his trade, and 1t
looked almost as if the journeymen in
Johannes shop had buried him head fore
most in -four barrel before sending him
out. And 1t was the most annoying kind of
-four, too. 1t seemed to fly all over you if
you only looked cross-eyed at it.
1t may be very readily imagined, there
fore, that Johannes was not welcomed with
any degree of enthusiasm in the crowded
car in which he found lodgment In fact,
he was the recipient of many dark and
threatening glances from the ladies and
gentlemen between whom he forced his
way, not to mention pet shoTes and pleas
ant iabs which greeted him in his course,
and had he been any thing but a Germans
bakers boy he might have taken warning
from these ominous signs of displeasure
But he wasn't, and he only wiggled the
harder as the jabs increased in force and
number. He was oblivious to every thing
except the necessity to keep moving. The
spirit of perpetual motion, which Mr.. Keely,
of Philadelphia, has been coQuetting with
IN aac af
every inch of that German bakers boys
anatomy. Every part of him wiggled like a
disjointed snake, and he kept shifting from
one end OF the car to the other like an imp,
leaving a streak of white -four in his trail
on the coats and dresses Of the passengers
If any one in the vehicle escaped touch Of
his whiteness it certainly wasn't Johannes
fault The dark and threatening glances
gradually grew to scowls, the jabs and
pushes gave way to cuffs and kicks, the men
muttered curses and women gave vent to
vicious little exclamations in which ''little
imp" and "ittle devil'' predominated, ac-
cording to the speakers degree of culture.
And Johannes only wiggled the harder.
] felt that matters were approaching O
climax and expected to see murder commit
ted at any moment.
Houston street." yelled the guard. The
train stopped with jolt Every body who
was standing, including Johannes, made a
wild grab for support, and every body, ex-
cepting Johannes, connected. Fate was
against the bakers boy. He had evidently
tempted it too strongly. AT any rate, his
grab yielded only space. His eyes rolled
wildly, and in halo of white dust he sailed
most ungracefully plump into the lap of a
fat old lady magnificently attired in a black
satin dress.
There was n Shrialx q crroop ard Toho-
mes was flung violently upward and for.
ward. Then another Shrek, this time of
rage, as the fat old lady looked at her
magnificent black dress covered with the
most beautiful lot of -four you have ever
seen.
She only looked a moment, however
| Then, with the most alarming dispatch. she
broke after Johannes, who was wieglino
with redoubled energy for safety toward
the other end Of the car Those of the pas
sengers whom he did not cover sufficiently
with his flour the old lady finished up from
her dress, and pandemonium reigned.
In about sixteen seconds the old lady
caught up with the bakers boy, and ther
through the white dust you could see 9
wild whirling of arms, an inextricable
struggle of feet, revolving Of two snowy
bodies and that was all, except that yot
neard the most distressing shrieks of pain
lntermlngled with the most awful anC
GREATNESS tongue-lashing mortal eve
listened to. 1t only lasted about a minute
and you could see by the gracefully settlint
flour dust that comparative calm reiPned
As the atmosphere cleared more and NOR,
it disclosed the old lady with a firm grip OF
the baker boys blonde curls, an excited
guard wildly brushing at what had been q
blue coat and about two dozen OF the mad
ind nfa No41
cred from head to foot with -four
"Ninth streetP' called the guard in tn,
other end Of the car.
g Put him outI' Kill himr' "Throv
him drown into the streetp, "Put hin
under the engine!" came from the enc
Where all the excitement was. Then ther,
was a shout, shove, more -four dust ant
fearful yell, followed by what some peo
| pie might have called "a dull thud."
forced my way out Just as the trair
moved on, and found the bakers boy howl
! ing like madman, covering on the plat
form. They had thrown him bodily owe
the gate (the enraged passengersl and Ia
nao almost landed in the street In the
pest German that could command started
to upbraid him for his suicidal course: but
he only stopped blubber1ng long enough q
assure me that he didn't know he had beer
hurting any body's feelings. left him a,
a hopeless case and advised him 70 OF
downstairs and wait for an empty street
| car
20, danke, danke, mein herr, aber ict
verde mir niemals mehr in elmer ca,
trauen," he blubbered after me. But b.
pocketed my nickel just the same, as hs
started down the steps.
Railroad Mans Theory.
pnrraopopdan4 30 a.