Morning journal and courier., 1889-12-06
FLASHES. .


 ''Have drink, grandpopa" "What is it?'' 'ssohuylkil1." tNo dear; have no teeth" Philadelphia Inquirer.
 Of course it Is not crime to be poor, but it might just as well be 30 long as it's penal ties are so severe.-Exchange.
 Democrat-"This has been pretty hard year for the Republicans in the United States" Republican-"Yes, but we carried Brazil. Life.
 "Did you notice any change about Hardup when you saw him in New York;" "No, he's just the same as ever. No change about m."-The Lounger.
 We know men who insist at every point upon beating their way through life, but we observe that they all draw the line at car pet.-Binghamton Leader.
 Of all the sad and gloomy words
 That mankind ever writ,
 There are no sadder ones to me
 Than these two: "Please remit.''
 -Punxsutawney Spirit.
 A fortunate stock broker, when asked if he owed his success to being long or short of the market, replied: "It was neither; think 1t was because I was square."-Boston Bulle- tin.
 Satisfactory employer (to applicant for Cooks position)-"Your testimonials are good. Have you a lover?" "Yes, ma'am, but he is a vegetarian. ."-Fliegende Blset- ter.
 A small boy who was arrested for stealing his way on Brooklyn ferryboat when asked by the judge if he was guilty promptly re- piled, ,t'No, I am in @ snt."-New York Her. aid.
 Yes, dear, the captain of vessel some- times stands on tack, but he doesn't tear around and say naughty words and do war dance that would make Choctaw blush.- Philadelphia Inquirer. Reward of virtue-"waiter, that nan came in after I did, and yet he has his roast goose, and have nothing" "Oh yes, sir; but then he always gets very cross if we don't serve him at once. Blatter. A (to his friend, the famous painter of bat: | tie scenes, who covers up with smoke all things that he does not know how to paint)- "And what are you going to do when they use the smekeless powderw- Fliegende Blset ter.
 "Auntie, would be justified in writing tc young man who has never written to mea Auntie-"Only on very important business my dear" Laura-"Well, this is important business-I want to marry him."-Terr' Haute Express.
 Charles Gin love)-But you should see he eyes when she is angry. They flash lik 1 lightning.
 John (bssn there)-Yes, or when she l looking for new beau. Then she keep lem peeled liked -Binghamptol Republican.
 l A little American boy who has German governess committed to memory, at her rs quest, a German evening prayer. When h. went to bed at night he folded his arms ani repeated his prayer, adding after thu "amen" in reverential tone the explanatory words, "Das ist Deutsch, lieber Gott."- Christian Register. During courtship: He-"What name shal invent for thee, dearssta" What appella' tion that in single word can express all my soul's desire, all my heart, all my passion all-" She Exceedingly unromantic)- "Well, MT. Highfown, what's the matter 1 with calling me Anna Maria Jane2 As a namt it's allus been good enough for me, and Tn thinkin' it'll have to be good enough fol you."-Judge.
 | asked her what she thought of me- To which she answered shortly, "Poohl cannot tell. for don't you see, really never think of youl" l -Muusey,s Weekly.