Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1889-11-28
Helena, Montana. Thursday, November 28, 1889.
THE WIDDY'S COW.
She Falls into the Clutches of the
POundmaster.

Oakland has a poundmaster named
O'Connell, familiarly known as 'Baby"
O'Connell, because he is big, bluff and
burly, weighs 225 pounds, and has all the
other distinctive attributes of an infant.
Of course he is hooted, hated and despised
like all other poundmasters, says the San
Francisco Examiner, but he doesn't lose
any flesh or any salary on that account.
One day while making his daily rounds hs
lassoed stray cow belonging to poor,
decrepit widow of West Oakland The
widow soon sp!ed her sole support failing
off after the pound wagon, went in pursuit,
overhauled O'Connell and tearfully plead
ed with him:
"Oh, Minister O'Connell, give me back
my COW, that's good man that you are.
Shure an the darlint's me sole means of
obtainin' me livin'. Now, that's q good
pouDdmaD; shure an ye wouldn't rob q
poor wildly"
"Who!" said O'Connell. "Widdy is il?
Thin cows is $4 ter widdies. Anyone else
the same"
"But have no $4 ter give Ye," protested
the widow; and with this she broke into a
wall which brought to her side her four
under-grOwn children of assorted Sizes and
also cODgregated the neighborhoOd.
-Four dollars!' said OConnelJ, proudly
sitting his box and gazing off into the fair
blue empyrean as he slowly moved his
whip stock up and down as if in deep in
trOspectiOn.
"Ah! yer great big, blackhearted I'll
lain !" spoke up Mr.. Flynn, who had local
political aspirations. why don't yer give
the poor wildly her cow?"
-Four dollars
"Yer're bloated wild yer own importance.
which no man wild an ioty of sel-respecht
would foller. Be dacent just once in yer
miserable existence and give back the cow.
Yell never miss it from yer stealin's."
-Four dollarsw
"Ah, ye're harder than Pharaoh's heart,
yer stoopid fool. But I'll get ye the foor
dollars. Pm up ter give foOr bits. Now,
neighbors, let's git back the poor widdy's
CIV"
So Mr.. Flynn, with aspirations, passed
his somewhat battered hat, and on top OF
his own bright half dollar slowly accumu
lated an assortment of nickels and dimes
with an occasional quarter. Mr.. Flynn
divided his volubility between heroic
abuse of the poundmaster and an earnest
appeal to the charitable. But when each
ultimate nickel seemed wrung from the by
ISLANDERS a count of the returns showed
only So IS in the hat
There, now, take that ana let the COW
CO." said Mr. Flynn boldly, profferiDg the
collection. Make up the odd cints off the
cows of the rich, which yer never dare to
touch"
Then he threw the cows rope and all
the money into the poor woman's lap,
lifted his hat and slapped his horses sharp
ly with reins. As he drove away he turned
his head back toward the gaping, as
tonished crowd, saying with lofty scorn:
"Yer a fine lot, ye are! Ye'd let a poor
old wildly stharve right here under yer
freckled pug noses if a. filanthropist didn't
cum along now and then to make yer give
up some o. them nickels yer squeezin' till
the goddess O. liberty looks like a Thehama
street chippy. Go on wild yez fur par
csl O. misers! Git oop Bob; they're no
company fur tn dogs in ther crate"
-Four dollars" came again the grimly
epigrammatic reply, the Baby" stolidly
gazing into opaline space.
The wrath of the crowd broke loose st
this. Men, women and children went into
the depth of their understanding to fish up
billingsgate to heap upon the despicable
dog-catcher. But oaths, shrieks, detraction
and defamation had no effect. Stolid and
solemn O'Connell sat, emitting at intervals
his only reply, -Four dolars!"
Finally the hat went round again. Thsre
was another wringing of pockets, and the
full fee was at last raised. Mr.. Flynn
passed it up with menace. OConnell
counted it carefully, weighed and noted
each piece to see that nothing was bogus.
"Hold your apron, old woman" he said at
length to the widow.