Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-01-20
AN OLD-TiMER.
Long Experience with SwindlerS Had
Made Him Hard to Beat.
TCbicapo Herald I

Long Experience with Swindler1 Had
Made Him Hard to Beat.
tChicago Herald
"NO, you can't come any o your lodges
On me,'' said grangerfed passenger as
the man with the big, jingling ring full Of
bus checks accosted him with the inquiry
if he was going any farther than Chicago.
you can't play me for sucker, ! tell you.
I've had my eye-teeth cut, have. Why,
I've had three lightning rods put up on my
place, every one of which cost me seven
prices. I've been stuck on Bohemian oats,
Russian oats, Australian oats, hulless bar
ley, gold dust wheat, Seneca chief wheat,
red line wheat and all o. them things. The
last man who caught me on this scheme
said he represented big company, and
that he was only allowed to sell ten bush
els to one farmer, at ten dollars per bushel.
Bimeby he came around and said
he'd sell me fifty bushels on the sly for
cash, providin' I'd sign an agree
ment not to tell on him. He said
he'd takin' a likin' to me, an would
just as soon see me get rich as his
own father. l took the fifty bushels, paid
him five hundred dollars, and signed the
that agreement in the bank promissory
note for five hundred dollars more which
had to pay. I've been caught on worthless
fruit trees an fertilizers, an other clap
traps by the dozen. One time l ordered q
new revised edition Bible, an the blank
order which l signed turned up promis-
sorry note for one hundred dollars. Bout
year ago stranger stopped at my house
just before dinner-time. Of course | asked
him to sit up and eat with us. He said he
was an agent for the Bible Society, and
was not permitted to eat meals without
payin' for 'em, but would be pleased to sit
up if l would take pay. OF course l agreed,
an you ought to have heard that man pray.
He was a prayer from way back, an my
appetite nearly made me sick before he got
through asking the blessin'. After dinner
he asked me to sign receipt, which he could
show the Bible Society as a voucher that
he had paid for the meal. Three months
later that receipt turned up in bank as a
note for sixty-fve dollars had to pay it.
Last summer | built a new barn, and, of
course, l wanted lightning rods on it, A
man came along with his wagon aud
| dickered with him for contract.
He praised the barn, and said he
wanted to do good job in my neighbor-
hood, seem as was prominent man an
my recommend would be valuable to him
in his business, an drew up plans for an
elaborate system of rods, which he agreed
to put up for ten dollars. 1t was dirt
cheap, and so | signed his contract After
the work was done paid him the ten dol
lars and s'posed that was the end ont.
But it wasn't. The ten dollars was simply
for putting up the rods. For the rods
themselves had to pay two hundred and
eighty dollars. I've paid royalties on
patented farm machinery which fellows
would come along and find in my posses
sion, and, claiming that by using the ma
chimes | had infringed on their patents,
threatened to prosecute me if l didn't
settle up. I've bought half-dozen receipts
for the manufacture of fertilizers, and as
many sure cures for the hog cholera I've
been taken in on freight receipts, lotteries,
card games, insurance frauds, patent right
-=aders, widders, bogus ministers,
spurious charity agents an ell sorts o.
skin games, but I've got my eyes open at
last, stranger"
I'm goin' farther than Chicago, but eff
you think you kin git halfdollar out o.
me for that little piece o. pasteboard and
that brass check yer barking up the wrong
tree. Do you take me for man who has
had no experience in the affairs o. this
world?D