Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-01-04
POINTS OF nor.

A CAREFUL stage manager -
lriver of tally-ho coach. --Merchn
Traveller.
EVEN the man who prefers to hi
N rising ground generally steers d.
Of volcano. Gle,e's Falls Rcpatblisn
FOOTBALLS are useful in coll.
yards. If the fresh young men do
like the dusty old professors they !
90 out and kick.-Ncw Orleans n
y1tlae.
OLD-r1MER-Saw You with your h
last evening. Young Sprout-Yes:,
cousin, you know. Old-timer-O, d
tainly, I know: she was mine once
Tou, Topics.
DETECTED AuTHoR-Why do you tas
my article was retnraed to me? You
lady (who has read til can't thin
unless you sent it to some editor
wanted him to print it.-Ps1ch.
JuDGE-Prisoner, the evidence shos
that you brutality assaulted the plains
Have you anything to offer in extenu
ton? Prisoner-No, sir, my LAVE
took all the money l Time.
IT doesn't exactly say SO in the Bib
but when you kiss pretty girl on o.
check, and she is quite sure that The,
isn't anybody looking, she is often KNOW
to turn to you the other, also.-somsI
rille Journal.
A HEALTH journal says IAN attack
hiccoughs may be stopped by hols
the head under water An attack
smallpox can be stopped in the san
way, if the head be held under was
long enough.ss
| CLEnK-Why do you want the
apple barrels marked open this ends
What difference does it make whid
end is opened? Fruit Dealer w
can't afford to pack large apples at bot
ends of the barrel, sir.
THERE are occasions in life when
man must regret that he started out
be minister-for instance, when he Ia
to marry to another man the girl he La
always wanted to marry on his own &c
count. Journal.
BoBLEY - Have you seen the ne
| labor-saving machine down in the com
house? Wiggins-No: what is it like
Bobley- About the same as these affair
you see in the ferries. You just dp
your will in the hole and contest coma
out.-J4dge
INpEouNIoUs BoARDER--I have eatt
too hearty q dinner. What do you thin
would relieve me? Landlord Take
walk. /. B.--A walk-aw-about loV
long walk? Landlortl-Say aboul
765 miles due west. That will reliey(
you-and me, too.
WIFE Cat breakfast My dear. vii
you have some more of the stewed pI
tatoes? I choked them myself. HUI
band-No, I've had enough. Wife
What is the best way to keep potatoes
John? Husband--I think the best val
for You to keep potatoes is to stew 'en|
-Hd1pe,'s Bazar.
RYDER-Seems as though / don't se(
you at the opera as often as I did befor(
you We're married. Brown? Brow
Crying to stuff bottle Of soothinl !
syrup deeper into his overcoat pocket
No. We have private musicals up
our place every night now Bau1;m
ton Free Press.
How IS your papa getting along!
asked Mrs. Yeast Of the Crimsonbes
boy the other day, when she was wal
ing for his mother to make her appear
ance in the parlor. 80, bully! Eel
going to build house" "Going |
build house! How do YOU kno !
tAat?" We'll, I heard mamma say II
brings a brick home in his hat ever
night. - Tonke,s Statesman.
WHERE SHE DREW THE LINE.
You can decorate your office
With thousand gildcd signs,
And have upholstered furniture
In quaint antique designs
Have tho latest patent telephone.
Where you can yell Hello!
But, said she. II just made up my mind
That typewriter must TO-
You can stay down at the Office.
AZ you have done after hours,
And if you are partial to bouquets.
III furnish you with flowers,
You can spring the old club story
When you come home late you know;
But, remember, I've made up my mind
That typewriter must CO.
You can let your bookkeeper lay off
And see game of ball;
The Office boy can leave at noon
Or not show up at all.
There-what is this upon your coate
1t isn't mine, / know.
l think know thing or two
That typewriter shall co."
Chicago Tir,es.
HOW NOT TO TREAT INFLAMED|
EYES.
The custom, prevalent amang physl
Clans as we'll as the laity. of tightll