davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-10-03
The Liver

And kidneys are organs which it is important
should be kept in good condition, and yet they are
Overworked and abused by nearly every bOiy. until
Hoods SaTsapaEila cures I'll difficulties with
these organs, rouses them TO healthy action, and
tones the whole digestive organism.
have been using Hoods Sarsaparilla for ind-
gestion and liver trouble II has greatly benefited
me, and l think 1t /, fully as good a medicine
claimed" Z. :. CHESEBRO, chief engineer IRE
dept, StoningtOn, CT.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17
CHATTER v,
oRroN MEErs RocHoN IN coNrL1cr.

ORION MEETS RoCHoN IN CONFLICT.
The firing down the bayou was drawing
nearer and nearer. The enemy was ap-
preaching in rowboats, as could be told by
the splash of oars and the rattle of thole-
pins. while small party of picked. men
from Garein's party was harrassing them
from the tall grass of the bordering marsh.
It was evident that Roehon meant to force
landing at some point nearby and take
Garein's place by storm. Orton walked
swiftly over the ground to be defended by
his little party and found that in the midst
of the slough there was deep ditch-like
creek, or miniature bayou, up which row.
boats could easily come. Near the point
in the large bayou where this small
one entered, a little sloop lay
ready manned for action and pretty
soon she opened fire with aswivel or a small
carronade by the blaze Of which Orton saw
plainly the feet of advancing rowboats
behind which and towed by them came
small schooner. The shot from the sloop
was answered by booming discharge fred
from pieceat the bow of the larger vessel and
the shot went singing overhead, striking far
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17

by the other day wrote out new set of
rules to be used in hotels. When l 60 to a
hotel register, get a room, if 1 can, 60 to
it, or repair to If, rather, and if there are no
rules 1 go to another hotel. Hotel rules
have been great boon to me. When not
reading the strangers Guide to the City, ="
OF the hours for meals, or the bell-boy code,
1 love to read the rules. These are to be
added, of course, to those now in use. What
the country really needs is more rules and
less food. Give me rules enough and you
may take the fodder.
NYE'S HOTEL RULES.
Hotel joint resolutions for use of hotel
joint:
Joint resolution No. 1. Called up for q
first reading and referred.
Washing done in hotel room will be
charged for at regular laundry prices. This
is not done SO much for the purpose of en-
couraging the infant industry of washing in
rooms, as it is to foster and encourage the
laundry at the hotel.
No. 2. People IN reduced circumstances
are requested not to die in the house.
No. 8. People who unavoidably die in
the house are requested not to do so as the
result OF contagious disease.
No. 4. Guests who carry away key of
room. on going to Siberia or elsewhere, Will
be charged with rent of room until they re-
turn.
No. 5. Guests are requested to leave the
towels on going away, as we can use them
1uTar m
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17

deal. This is only model, but it works
perfectly. I made it all myself-it's nearly
complete, and after I've made few unim-
portant changes I shall get the invention
patented. believe it will make nv own
and my brothers fortune" said Mr..
Morgan, eying his work with honest pride,
fYou perhaps wonder how learned to use
tools. My father was machinist, and I
served a regular apprenticeship at the
trade. He wanted me to be a minister, and
am one, but my fondness for mechanical
work is as strong as ever. I've fitted
see, and 1 think 1 have every-
thing quite complete. OH you needn't
think a minister can't invent ANYTHING
but sermons" he exclaimed, laughingly.
"See here!" and throwing off the dressing
gown which he had donned TO receive his
visitors he fastened a leather apron around
his waist and stood up, looking more like a
healthy young blacksmith than clergy
man:
He knelt by his machine, pointed out the
different parts and explained their uses, but
it is doubtful if his visitors heard a word
he was saying. A more humbled and shame
faced group than the trio before.him it would
be hard to picture. Mumbling some unin-
telligible apologies for having disturbed
him, the magistrate, the deputy and Bill
Bennett departed with as much haste as they
could and made their way back to Mel
nocket.
IF the Rev. Milton Morgan ever knew how
near he came to being arrested as a counter
feiter he wisely kept that knowledge tohim
self ELIAKTM EASTMAN.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17

pleasure, especially by those who remained
at home. l attended because had to do
SO. People expected it, and so 1 went, but
future Presidents will have to get along
without me, and they might as well under
stand 1t before they go to the expense and
annoyance of getting elected.
Probably $500, 900 worth of silk hats bit
the dust, SO to speak, on the 4th of this
month at this place. Think of that alone.
Half million dollars worth of sorrowing
silk hats with side whiskers on them. arose
on the 9TH of March and, looking around
wildly, exclaimed in a distraught manner,
"Where am -" The day was extremely
wet under foot, and the bottom just scanned
to fall out of the sky. General Greedy has
hurt himself more by this, L think, than by
any other act since he took the lsothermaI
lines in his hands.
Everything was done to make people en-
ioy themselves, and think that the fact
was pretty we'll established that neither of
the two great parties bas a mortgage on
temperance. Temperance meets with more
cordial reception on q Presidential platform,
1 think, than anywhere else. have never
seen so much drunkenness in my life,
though years ago I had full entree to
some of our leading alcoholic circles, as
Doc Hayes would say.
ENJOYING HIMSELF.
A gentleman from a distance, who said he
was the first to think of General Harrison as
a candidate for President. and meant to have
told his wife about it at the time, but forgot
about it, had the largest compilation of
drunk that ever saw. He was not only
drunk, but he was surprised and gratifed to
know that such was the case. He bought a
seat containing a quart of plain, new laid
rain, and a teacupful of umbrella juice.
Seating himself calmly in this, he tied a
stone to his last remaining sorrow, and
drowned it in a broad-shouldered phial
which he carried in his overcoat pocket.
The procession, however, behaved itself,
and the orgies seemed to be largely in the
hands of unidentified people. who carefully
scrutinize the papers every day in search of
excuses for getting drunk and so remaining
until there is another demonstration. They
belong to the country. They owe allegiance
to no clique. They go to Washington or
anywhere else totally unpledged. They
drank yesterday because they did not feel
well; they drink to-day because they fear
they are not going to feel well, and drink
tomorrow because they felt so much better
the day before.
While waiting for the procession to pass
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17
7 HE HELILYoEROCHON
A Legend of Bay ST. Louis.
MAURICE THOMPSON.

and to avoid them he had to turn back.
During this short time the building had
been fired, and the flames were glaring
through the windows and doors. The
musketry had nearly ceased, but mad shouts
were ringing away in the direction of the
flying and the pursHers. Orton hurried
through side gate of the garden and was
making his way toward an opposite anglo
of the fence, knowing that small wicket
was there, when old Roehon, uttering .
liou-like roar. rushed upon him with
brandished cutlass. There was no time for
hesitation. The young man let fall his
bundle Of sketches and drew the heavy
rapier that hung at his side.
When q man is in sudden and imminent
peril his thoughts are quicker than light
ming and oftentimes flash over the whole OF
his past life setting his personal history be-
fore him like a drawing in bird d's-eye
perspective. As for Orton, however, in
this instance, the apparition Of old Rochon
Clearing down upon him with murder in his
face and sword flashing sharply in the light
of the burning house) made him think Of
but one slight incident of all his past ex-
perience, and this now leaped clear cut and
vivid into the very foreground of his mem
ory. 1t was the meeting of Mile. Felieie
Roehon in the moss-veiled woodpath the
other day. Strange what two or three terri
BILE moments could do in the way of laying
bare TO him his own hearth Like a sweet,
swift light flashed into him the conscious
ness Of a consuming love for that tall,
lovely girl. Romantic and improbable
enough all this may seem to the casual
reader; but to him who has met danger in
every form and escaped death through every
narrow ereviee of chance it will be but
glimpse of real life under the pressure Of
most terrible exigency. As concentrated
weather sometimes develops plant in a
single day so all tine power of a lifetime
compressed into q moment may perfect In
simultaneously an inspiration, hate or
love.
When Orton's sword crossed with that Of
Rochon and the fire leaped from the clang-
ing steel, the young man was thinking Of
the girl to whom Victor had given the the
name of the Lily of Rochon, and Victor's
idle stories about how many men had fallen
in love with her all in vain. were running
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17

The story opens early IN the pres
ent century, on q bright morning IN
March. Wendell Orton, artist and dreamer. is
landed from little schooner in the Bay st.
Louis, by the Creole owner of the vessel,
Victor, who is to return for HIM April 10.
Orton's host is Edouard Garcin, whose family
consists of himself, wife and pretty daughter,
Lalie. A mystery surrounds lovely villa in
the neighborhood, whose owner Is Mo'sieu
Rochon, and who has lovely daughter known as
the Lilly of Rochon," Of whom Wendell Orton
dreams during his first night at the little inn.
orton overnears conversation which leads
him to believe that his host is engaged IN un-
lawful pursuits. He meets the Lily of Rochon,
and is struck with admiration of her beauty.
Gaspard Rochon prepares to attack Garcin
and his free boeters, and orton volunteers in
his hosts defense,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17

No. 6. Guests are requested to unlock the
door before committing suicide.
No. z. We will not be responsible for in
iurv to baggage which may fall from back
window of guests room during the night.
No. s. Guests contemplating suicide will
please leave Gabriel call at Office.
No. 9. Guests who do laundry work in
their rooms are requested not to take in
washing from other guests, as it paralyzes
our own laundry.
No. 10. Young husbands who contemplate
shooting their wives at this house will do
well to infict fatal wound in themselves
first.
No. IL. Horses and carriages provided at
office for use of guests, but not allowed in
room.
AS TO vALUABkES.
No. u. Guests Will find safe at Office,
provided expressly for their use, for the
safe-keeping of valuables. They are cor
daily invited to come and store them there,
and the valuables will be returned If not
available to us.
No. Is. Dogs will be charged table board
and the owners will be required to pay dou-
BILE fare besides. Dogs will mo-, be allowed
in rooms, under beds, or under any circum-
stances whatever.
Ne. IA Guests are requested not to allow
d
rugs will look floating about the room.
No. Is. Children are provided with a
separate dining-room, where, they may fill
their ears full of jam and put mayonaise
dressing in their hair if they are in the
habit of doing so at home.
No. 16. Persons who fall down the ele-
vator shaft are requested to avoid pulling
off the plastering with their front teeth.
No. IL. The fire escapes of this hotel are
intended for the use Of guests only. Other
outside people. in case of fire, seeking to use
these fire escapes. will be pushed back into
the building again till they are done.
No. Is. Guests from Arizona are re-
quested to file down their spurs before re-
firing at night.
e. FITZwILLIAM NYE.
n. B.-This house has been newly fitted
up and furnished throughout and has been
thoroughly freproof 50 far.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17
MEN WAo BEAT HOTELS.
A Numerous Tribe of Folks Who Want
Something for Nothing.

A Numerous 1f1De oil folks VINO want
Something for Nothing.
Hotel News Agent in Globe-Democratl
From my position behind the news stand
here see every day and night many strange
characters in the dead-beat line. There are
20 men at least who drop in each evening
for supply of oothpicks and matches. A
loose sheet of paper or an envelope left in
the writing room disappears within a few
minutes. Some years ago there was an old
man who went from hotel to hotel and rified
the racks of railroad folders, which he sold
for old paper, but he was finally arrested.
Paper snatchers are another set A guest
reads his paper through and having no
further use for it lays it upon the chair.
No one would have the least objection in
the world to anyone picking it up, but the
hotel lounger, aware Of his own meanness,
goes to work to secure it in the stealth
lest manner. He will first sit down on the
paper, and then slowly and gradually he
will pull it out and stow it in his pocket.
Another class, and they are regulars, the
boys all know them, are the 'snipe
hunters"
A snlpe hunter is person who is in
search of cigar stumps thrown on the
floor. There is one old man reputed to be
worth 100000 who is chronic. I have
often watched him maneuver to secure a
"grass-hopper." He will pass the half
burnt roll of tobacco several times, and then
stop near it in meditative mood. He will then
pull out grimy handkerchief and abstract
edly mop his face, and then let the rag fall
to the floor in careless mass, but with
such nrecisiou that il coVers the tssnine T"
and both are picked up together. The boys
at the bar have loaded several of the stumps,
and 1 saw the old man spoke of somewhat
startled by a sudden explosion one night. as
he lit his latest find at the cigar counter;
but it did not keep him away. Another
man, a well-dressed young fellow, often
see picking up half-consumed cigarettes.
He must be cigarette ''iend" sure enough.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17

sumer, while the New York merchant ap-
pears to have purchased them more for the
wild excitement of looking at them himself
l always have my feelings hurt when shop
in New York. In the first place, am en-
ragged before 1 get to the store by 9S7, ,236
people who knock me over and get on the
elevated trains before the passengers can get
of. Then go TO store and wait near a
stack a. wet umbrellas until several total
strangers with a naughty air jostle me
against the wall. next speak to floor
walker, who plays that he owns the store,
and is allowed to draw that instead of sal
ary. He looks at me askance, as if he feared
that might be Nellie BLY,. He goes over
to confer with heavy-set saleslady, to in
ouire of her, evidently, whether am there
with sinister motives, and while 1 tremble
at the thought that 1 am about to be
searched for said motives, another mar, who
PLAYS that he owns the store afternoons,
comes along and asks me what I want
there.
sIMPLE-MINDED NYE.
tell him that am simple-minded man.
more or less picked on both at home and
abroad; that would spend an enormous
amount Of money in New York, if had
chance; that to-day l had contemplated
buying or trading for full set of two heavy
No. 10 English hose with double soles and
striking resemblance to each other. No
body could be any more explicit than that
without being offensive. 1 Just tell man
what want right at the start, and then if
there should be any delay it is his fault.
He looks at me sorrowfully and begins to
feel in his pocket for something. 7 say,
"Put up your gold. Get out with your
GROSS. am not poor or crazed by suffering.
am only waiting to present letter of in
PRODUCTION to the sock lady if can obtain
an audience with her. would be satisfied
with even a very small audience with her"
He tells me where the Office is, and L 60
there. She waits long time before seem
to catch her eye. She looks through me-
and SO on across the store to given point
She then says:
s'Well?"
''SoclHl''
"Yes?"
"YesP'
sWhat kind, please?"
"English hose double sole, unbleached,
No. 10, two of kind"
t'Fer yourself?"
''Yes. exclusively for myself"
.tWeil, the mems hose is on the sec
ond floor, facing the other street"
then 90 to hotel, register, get room,
ring for a messenger and send him fo- the
hose.
1t NAV be thesame old crazy spirit which
keeps New York stirred up all the time and
makes the average New Yorker miserable
all day If he misses car, even if the next
will be along in half minute; but what
ever it is, it is an evil spirit and makes
money for few people to the discomfort of
great many.
New York shopping, especially at certain
seasons and on certain days, is like trying
to buy things in Washington during the in
auguration. You can pay for them, but you
are not permitted to take them away. They
may be needed four years from now.
GREELY's MISTAKE.
The Inauguration is no longer news, but
at may be looked back upon with great
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17

village Two M1cS
below on the Arragumpus creek. Mel
nocket now had two sensations all to itself.
First, Beulah Church, to which nearly all
the religious people of the town
and the neighborhood belonged, had a
new pastor, for the first time in 30
years. Second, it had been declared
by no less an authority than a United
States detective that Melnocket was the
headquarters and abiding-place of the
largest and shrewdest band of counterfeit
ers in the entire State. Now either of these
events, coming singly, would have been
sufficient to set all the tongues in the viii
iage wagging most industriously. but COM
ing simultaneously. as they did, the an
nouneements caused such futter of excite
ment that all the traditional thine days
wonders of the place were as nothing in
comparison. Melnocket was sleepy old
village, yet it was easily aroused, and the
extraordinary occurrences just mentioned
had stirred it from center to circumference.
The new pastor, Rev. Milton Morgan, a
wide-awake, business-like young theologian,
had scarcely had time to get settled and be-
gin his labors in Melnocket as the successor
of Elder Joseph Maxwell, now dyspeptic,
decrepit and feeble old man, when the news
Of the counterfeiters having been traced
thither came like a thunder-clap to the ears
OF the villagers. 1t was not strange that
such secret as the Government detective
was in possession of should leak out, before
he had time to make arrests, in place like
Melnocket. If anv person ever succeeded
in keeping secret there it must have been
long ago, and the art of refraining from
gossip doubtless died with him. In this
instance the officer, on whom much pressure
was brought to bear to disclose the nature
of his business, indiscreetly confded his
suspicious to Squire Henderson, and the
SQUIRE, in his usual gafrulous way, told
the whole town what he had heard.
"Bill Bennett, you are foolp'
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17

aYour say-so doan't make it SO by long
shot, though. 'Twouldn't be so terrible
strange, even if was leetle weak IN the
upper story, seein' as I'm own cousin to
yeou."
"Haw, hawp' chuckled. Dave Williams,
Constable of Melnocket and Deputy Sheriff
of Arragumpus county. "Bill hez We there,
Square. Ye cahn't deny yer relations, an
eff it comes TO twittin' on facts I'll resk Bill
agin any man in the caountry. His tongue
is match for your'n, Square, even eff yeou
hev studied law"
"Shut up, Sheriff" said the Squire stern
ly. "We are here to talk business instead of
nonsense. Now, Bill, will you state the
grounds for the preposterous statement you
have just nader"
81 Jest said I believed the new tarson
was one o. them counterfeiters. NV sus-
picion is that he's the head man O. the
gang. Mebbe 1 can prove it, an mebbe 1
cahn't, but man hez right to his opinion.
Eff yeou n the Sheriff had "a seen what
hev p'raps yer wouldn't be quite so forrard
about calm me fool fer speaking my
mind"
e"What have you seen?" demanded the
Squire and Dave together.
"Wall, yer know the minister moved into
the old DR.. Frost hause, when he came here,
sayin' he preferred to pay rent fer the prop
erty rather than take the parsonage an
drive old Elder Maxwell from the only
home he ever had, or is likely to have in
this world. That sounded very nice of the
parson, an mebbe it was nice-I amt
sayin'. We understand the reason the new
preacher gives for livIn' half mile out o.
the village an no neighbors near him. We
know why he occupies the old house, but
I'm puzzled ter know why he needs ter use
the doctors old 'potecary shop too, eff
maxim sermons is the only trade he
follers."
The shop to which Bill alluded was
small building, situated several rods from
the house now tenanted by the Rev. Mr.
Morgan and his family. 1t had been
erected by the former owner of the place as
an office and storeroom for the medicines
he found it necessary to keep on hand. DIR.
Frost, like most country physicians, had
kept his own stock of drugs, there being no
apothecary in the village, and filed his own
prescriptions.
IF that is the basis of your mysterious
allegations" said the Squire. assuming an
air Of Importance and adopting his court
room manners and style of speech, "the
matter is easily explained. The pastor told
me he had converted the Office into study.
The house is small, you know, and he has
several young children who make deal of
noise"
"Well, y continued Bill, sit may be the
parson makes his sermons with a hammer
and anvil, at midnight, with the door of his
study looked. Eff he does, he's got differ
ent way Of doing things from what Elder
Maxwell had, that's allp'
"Bill. what are you talking about?''
thundered the Squire.
II know, eff yeou doant. T'other night I
was comm down the road past the parsons
between IL and u o'clock -"
"Hoi hoi Up courtin' the widder till
pooty late, want ye, Bill?" exclaimed
Dave Williams, chuckling loudly once
more.
81 der'no ez its anybody's business what
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17
The pursuit Of Perfectlon,


New York Sun.1
Sckuylkill-We are becoming quite
prominent in literary matters. Don't you
think so.
Miss Waldo--There was time when q
Philadelphia magazine wasn't worth read
ing; now it is not fit to read.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-17

New York SUM-
She-I like you George, but
He-But whet love?
She-Why, all the girls know never had
beau before, and they would tease me to
death if accepted my first offer.