San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-08-15
BACK TO THE FOOTHILLS.
RETURNING FROM BERMUDA WITH A
LITTLE HOPE IN 4 BOX.

~ ] lG F1OfG TN y Bun.
The Man from the Foothills Was a Little
Disappointed by His Trip, but Thinks
He May Be Able to Conquer the "Ang-
wee"
I'm back from Bermudy ag'in, said the man
from the foothills You must mind my tell
ing you, month or so ago, that was bound
for Bermudy, don't you9 Course you must
| was just in from the foothills of the Sierras
you know, and told you was homesick for
Bermudy Why9 You mind why, don't youi
| amt afraid to bet you dol Scorpions was
why had been used to scorpions, you know
and they didn't have any out there among
the foothills Had tarantulies Had tarantu
lies till you couldn't see. And rattlesnakes
You mind told you bout the tarantulies and
the rattlesnakes. Certainly you do But
they wasn't enough to drive angwee away
even with Injins to help 'em. and got to
pinin' for somethin'.
Pned and pinned, and couldn't Count for it.
You must mind how told you that pined
and pinned. It's funny if you don't. Then it
busted out on ME all of a sudden that what
allied me was scorpions Sure. Nothing else
in the world but scorpions, and that I'd been
gulpin' bitters for dyspepsy by the gallon
and rattlin pills into me for my liver, seven
at rattle and three rattles dayl And all
that allied me was scorpionsl Homesick fer
EN-. So | turned my heels and struck for
Bermudy, where | used to live, and where
there was scorpions as well as tarantulies to
cheer a fellow up Well. I've been to Der
muddy.
SCORPION DISAPPOINTED MAN.
But Pm back ag'in. Disappointed You've
often been disappointed, hain't yous Course
you have. A man that says he hain't been
disappointed it's safe to call liar Providn
he hain't too big Some men may be liars
and not know it, and yit it wouldn't be safe
for you to break the news to EN- Don't you
know it wouldn'ts Hope so If you don't
know it things may go hard with you some
time, unless you're pretty handy on the scrap
yourself. You've been disappointed, of
course. But you hain't never been disap
pointed in scorpions. Few people has. I'm
one of 'em. | went to Bermundy with anti
cipations roster than a song and-dance girls
cheeks. | came back from Bermundy with
the rosy all b!eached out of 'em Pm scor
pion-disappointed man. If you had pinned for
'em like pinned you'd know what that means
Bat you don't know, do you. Bet the drinks
you DON'T
| was rosy, I'm tellin' you, when | sighted
Bermudy ag'n! Couldn't hardly wait to git
ashore. | could almost see what | was pinin
for. | could hear their toes rattlin' over the
sand, an scratchin' along the ceilin's and up
the walls | could shut my eyes and see 'em
crawlin' out O. my shoes when / woke up in
the mOrnin's, and sportin over my stockinls,
and pOppin in and ont o my pants legs as
they laid on the floor | was cheerin' up al
ready But what did find when landed
on Bermudyl You can't guess. Bet you
anything you cau'tl Why, they didn't let
scorpions come out and hustle around and
cheer folks any more! People that couldn't
appreciate 'em had got to loain' round Der
muddy, and they objected to scorpionsl Sc
folks had took ID discOuragin' 'em. Why,
they'd even fell to KILN EN-. Actually KILN
scorpions! AfteF all my pinin' and pinin' I'd
gone all the way TO Bermudy 10 ketch angwee
worse than everl 1t was tough.
| roamed around hopin' to git a little cheer
out of the scramblin' and a scratchn' and the
peggln' away at one another of a few scOr-
pions on the sly But somebody was always
around with a club. Biffl was all the en-
couragement a scorpion got when it showed
itself. May be you might have heered lately
that there's generally a scorpion or two
waltzes est OF nearly every bunch o bananas
that comes from Bermudy nowa Thought
We had Everybodys heeId that Scorpions
are comm in regular with the bananas now
Why SO! Bet you can't tell Course you
can't They're emigratin' They're sneakin
q
bein' prosecuted. They're leavin' the land o
their birth and strikin' out for liberty or
death. You'll be gettin' them right along
now. You didn't use to git anything but
tarantulies But you'll be gettin' scorpions
right along now. But they won't be en-
outraged here, neither They might as well
stay home.
HIS FUTURE PROSPECTS.
So you see | couldn't stand it in BeTmudy
1t was breakin' my heart I'm back ag'in
I'm bound fer the foothills once more. But
hain't goin alone Bet yer life haint
I've got a little box full O hope, and I'm
takin' that with me Here's the box The
hope is inside of it. It is fifty clipper and
sassy scorpions, right from Bermudy Them
holes IS fer 'em to breathe through. Each one
has section all to himself. If he hadn't.
theEe is so much cheerfuness slowed away in
each one 'em that they couldn't hold them
selves, and they'd chew one another up Shall
raise the kiver and let We have look at
em' No! Don't like em. heyf Some folks
don't. I'll bet you'd even kill scorpion,
now, if you'd meet one! Darned if kin see
what some folks is made of
But Pm takin' this little box full o. hope
with me back to the foothills. I'm goin' to
turn it loose out there ldon't know whether
it'll tnka To the nAnhe crnurlLs on. not l,an,t