Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-01-12
HAPPY THOUG HTS.

A WATERING place-.the hydrant.-
PWSburg Chronicle.
TRUTH was crushed to earth when
the gas meter was invented.
THE rabbit burrows, but never lends
He is the dude of quadrupeds.
The man who goes under Niagara al
ways has to put on fall suit -BoSton
Bulletin.
ADVICE to young man fond of hugging
the girls-Waist not, want not. -IeraS
Strings.
NOAH and his family illuminated their
grand saloon with an ark light. Harp
ei''s Bdzdr.
WHILE the world lasts everybody will
leans Pjcdy,ute.
THERE are always two sides to case
except with an openfaced watch
Washington critic.
THE person who sets hotel on fire
is an incendiary in double SENSE
PdiSjiTg ThrOHicie.
DR,wING is not an easy art. - said a
painter just after he discovered that
his lottery ticket WAS II blank.
WHY are you always so blue, Srrib-
bier" because said the author, Il m
so seldom red. "-Hdpcr'S Bd.dr.
WHEN Pha ton handled the chariot of
the Sun lie probably drove a tannedem
team without reins. boston B'd'ctN.
Mrsr be cold ut the Horn whrn they
double the Cape" Colder at the
Cape when they double the Horn
ocean,
There's no use to get angry
Al innocent chat.
For the moro You & It mad,
Why, tn" more people laugh.
--McrcldUt Trrr.isr
An exchange SAYS: Nobody knows
where the flies 30 to. Perhaps not
but we know where people tell them to
go to- though. IOHhcrS Statesman.
"GoU'LL never miss the water till the
well runs dry" says an old maxim. The
genuine Kentucky colonel wouldn't
miss it then-kcnttnky state Jour-
nal.
BRowE in a billiard room)-Ah! a
pretty good shot, t)Iat, for IL beginner.
for an ender. That puts me ont. -
Drahe's Magazine.
The man who gets up m argument
nth piece of orange peel on the side
walk may he III good health but he
certainly appears to be falling away
| IoHhci'S sta 'eSn,4p.
VISITOR while waiting ior hostcss)
N,l = - ,,,,I,N,,-
ing for your Toor papa, Flossic? Flos-
sic-Ies ma'am; she is when she goes
out anywhere -EpOch.
AMY-And were you pleased with
Italy? Mani No, ind, ed. | was
awfully disappointed Why, l didn't
see single macaroni tree from Maple ;
to Ncnice.-YoWH TopicS.
FEMININE imitation OF maeculinity
is seen in the fact that pink is the favor
! lite color tor evening wear. The women
are irving to imi ate the men who
paint the town red. -Errhdnyc.
An exchange speaks of "A man intoX-
icated with wooden leg" We always
| knew that wooden legs are apt to throw
| a man off his base. but were not aware
| that they w,rn intoxicating. -WOtc
! W0H
PREAcHH JIM GoosEBERRY De col
lection vi now he tuh up. | iis' want
to express i upon YOU. d". de- wataws
of salyati II am free; hut | am de ny
drant, an You got topaz TO de hydrant
-Erctdnyc.
my friend, do You search the Scrip
turcs:" Yes; been searching 'em all
morning" And did YOU find anything
consoliug?" You bet | found Il lot OF
postage stamps l left there last win
ter. -LWcOIit JotuUHi
TRAMP-Watch me work that gentle
man for a dinner. Passing stranger
Jastonished)- Work? I thought YOU
never worked. Tramp are wrong
there, sir: [ work ether people, but
never myself -Horpcr% Bd:dy
EXAspERArEp MoTHER-You good
for nothing little brats You made $
much noise | couldn't hear mvscl
speak when Mrs. Smith was here
Which one of you shall | spank first
Tommy Emma. Ladies are al
ways served first. -TcrdS SUtiItgS.
80, MA" cried little Lii, bursting
into tears; Johnny took ; cents out o
my aux" "What made Won take YOU
sisters cents, You naughty boy?" sale
Mrs. Crown to her Young hopeful
because" replied little johnny, {"
couldn't get the quar.cr cut. Ncu
| Iorh SHi.