The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-27
BRIGHT BITS.

A SURE INDICATION -Parkson- bet 80
cents that Mslvile's girl has tilted him.
Rlchtord--N hat makes you think so?
, why, he's out under the trees looking for
that pipe he threw away last month -Burli7tg-
ton Free Press.
The New York Nail and Express still pats
itself on the bac'y for having published the
declaration of Independence on tae Fourth of
much pleasure from life as does this great re-
hgious daily.-Det on Free Press.
DO YOU think that marriage is a failure?''
asked Mrs. Wigginson Of her husband
,Humph growled Mr.. W., 'taat s the way
with you. You're always looking around for a
chance TO get your feelings hurt, so you can
have quarrel " Washington Critic
If you have ever murdered a tin peddler
don't confess 1t on your dying bed. That is
don't confess it until at least three doctors
have agreed that you can't live over a day or
two. This eonfe sing on the predictions of one
doctor has got several men into trouble of late
Detroit Free Press.
SANE KIND.-First Benedict-So you've been
married five years, too Biobbs? Well we'll
Nell! And what kind of a wife have you got?
second Benedict without enthusiasm)-O Oh,
she'll answer.
First Benediot--Of course, dear boy. Did YOU
ever know wife who Cudn't?-SomerUiAe
Journal
SEEDY TRAGEDIAN ION the Rialto)-Got an en-
gagement yet?
part at the Fashion theater.
WHAT salaryT'
No salary; but the part calls for a meal on
the stage, and get something to eat. "-Nelo
YORK Ii tbu1Ie.
MORE EFFECTIVE. -Bjones treading the
paper)-That's queer-a North DAKOTA cler v
man caught stealing horse from one of his
parshioners.
Bienkins 1anguidly)-Ah! Did they suspend
MN from his LaStorate?
Bion~s-No, they suspended him from a tree.
-SomerOttte Journal
Why He LOOKED TRoUBLED-Tucker-V
do look so troubled? Well, last night l
dreamed died and vas burie 1, Parker and
saw the tombstone at t1e head of my grave
Parker-Saw your tombstone, Ell? And what
of III -jrd
why, I'm trying to live up to the epitaph
saw on it. "-AeU York Sun.
BREAKING OFF GRADUALLY.- Father-Eleanor
now tnat you nave givel up young Hopkins,
wish he would stop coming to the mouse
Daughter-He's been mere only seven times
this weeI, pa
Father-Only seven times? How many times
do you want him to come?
Daughter-Don't be harsh father George is
trying to break OF gradually. Epoch.
THE WAY IT WoRKs.-Howell Gibbon-Now
you cahnt say, me deah boy, that we haven't
an uncommon fine lot of handsome women in
New YORK.
Capt. Powderly, o. S. A. Cthe distinguished
Indian fighter, his first visit to the city in ten
years)-No, indeed! They have brought the art
of makeup TO such perfection that girls of IS
have every appe rance of being exceedingly
well preServed.-P1tck
REAL AMBITIoN.-Mrs. Scrubb ito her star
boarder)-Wall, we amt all made lest alike
that's sure Why, there's my sister from York
state, happy to set all day on the piazzy and
rock Al read-rock and read. Land! 1t I'D
kill me!
4d.os -deander-what do you enjoy doing, Mrs
Scruob?
Mrs. Scrubo-Me? Wall, jest this Give me
some nice hot suds. C can di ,hrag, enty of
dirty disnes, and good sink to dreal 'em in
and dunno as I'd ask for anything better!2
Pltck