Daily Republican., 1889-11-01
MIItTH AND MERi,IAIENT.


upon my suit? She: Certainly, 1t fits you
beautifully.
Mr.. Billington: Oh. why did you say
no? Miss C0oingion; Because l didn't
think you would take no Tor an answer.
Tanning by electricity ia being much
talked OF as an undoubted success. But
for domestic uses the slipper is more con-
veIient.
Mr.. Wh.tete: Won't you give me
kiss, my little man? Louis Gliding bash
fully In mammals gown: You do 1t,
mother.
Mr.. Younghusbaud: Darling, you have
been weeping. What Is It, my sweetest
love? Mrs. Younghusband: Horse
fadish.
Dingley: 1 am surprised at the state
ment you have just made to me. Fibbs:
Why. Diugley: Because know It TO be
the truth.
"And you went mp the Rhine, sup
pose?" said Mrs. MalaprJp. "lndeed,
yes. II wss beautiful" "And did you
tee any RhneocerUses?"
Old lady: ! hope, my dear, you never
conceal anything from your hush nd.
Young vile: Oh, no; nothing but my
thoughts.
Office seekers say that the coolest place
they eau lind In Washington is the White
House. There lie where so many Of them
get the "cold shoulder"
Guest: Look here, walter! There's a
pin in this soup. Suppose had $ al
lowed III Waiter: 1t wouldn't have hurt
yer, sir. It's safety pin, sirl"
Bride; George, dear, when we reach
town, let us try to avoid giving the i'm
preston that we are newly married.
All right, Maude; you can carry this
bag.
That's a pretty pocketbook you have.
Where did you get Ii? A present from
uy wife. Anything In It? VI course.
The unpaid bill Tor the came.
Style, says writer Oh literary tapice,
means everything. Yes, said Gi son,
whose wife is a devutee to fashion, IL
means everything mans got.
He: ] wonder which of those two
ladies is his sisterl She: Why, the bru.
mette, OF course. Didn't you notice that
she had to put on her wrap he'srlfl
Husband Con wedding tour): I want
rooms Tor myself aud vile. Hotel mana.
ger: Suit? HUSBAND: OF course she is
peri, city lovely. The sweetest girl In
the void.
First ba let pirl: l believe my johnny
has become Vegetarian. Second ballet
girl: WHAT makes you th nix sol He
! used to give me jowetry, but of late ]
don't get Anything but flowers.
Dnllari: You've heard that old Boom
ingtraIe is going to rttirei ! can't see
now he made so much money In ten
wears. M0seby; You forget that he was
burnt out three times and failed twice.
Parson: | am astonished to hear a
man with three married daughters say
marri ge Is failure. Citizen; Well,
sir, hen you have three families besides
your own to support, you will learn that
marriage is positively bankruptcy.
Fond husband: Goodbye, love. In
case am really prevented from coming
home b. dinner, l will send you tele.
gram. She; You need not ouble lC
send 1t, my love; have already taken II
out of your jacket pocket. he was home
In good time.
"How about this courtp said the las
arrest to one OF the bailiifs. SCOT eooC
judge?" "First- rate" SIS ho q non
comuittnl man?" Why, | guess so
whyl" "Because want TO be tried by
non-committsl judge this time. The las
two committed me TO Jail for six month
each"
White choker gentleman (severely)
"Do you know, sir, that this world vii
be miserable place until all intoxicating
beverages are doue away wiih?" Floh,
gentleman (cordially): 81 know 1t, sir
and I'm doing my share In the goo
work. do away with large portion
every day"
She looked simply enhancing as she sa
In the Union depot the ther day. In be
lap she held little skye terrier. which
she wac eaiessing tenderly. Soon TN
regulation dude blew In tho waiting
rom, and as he passed her remarked
Just loud enough Tor her to hear: :"
would were dog" 'Never mind
you're young YET" she resp nded sweet
", and he suddenly remembered that hi
train was waiting.
Daughter; "When / marry, mamma
II will be Tor love-" Mother: do no
talk like a simpleton, dear Daughter
"As was about to observe when you In
terrupted me, when marry 1t shall b,
for love of position, ease and display
Business before sentiment mamma.
Mother: "Spoken like q hrroinel'-sottt
voce-"I must keep an eye on that CIR
or she'll run away with the first begga
that looks cross. eyed At her."
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