The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1889-11-23
TALK OF THE DAY.

Ibid you ever fall in lover" 'Yes,
out / got out-with the assistance of
her father"
An unsuitable boat has been invent
cd, but it has not yet been adopted by
the United States navy.
A Sad Situation He owes every
thing he has to me- THAT'S bad.
He owes a great deal more than he
has to me-"
First dude-"I have tewible news.
Charles is dead" Second dude How
did he die?" First dude-"His cane
fell on him."
A western paper gallantly remarks
that 1.-The lady prisoners in our Jail are
about the most desperate lot we have
seen in a long time
A Fathers Feelings -'What
did your pater say when you told him
we were engaged" She-"Oh, you
must not ask me to repeat such
language!"
Friend-'.Do you still continue to
send matter to the newspapers, Chol-
ly?" Cholly-''Yes; but it's merely
for good faith, and not necessarily for
publication.
Sappy-'I think I shall, aw, nevah
have to Struggle for gweatness. Aw,
l was born gweat, doncher know?"
Crusty-"Great Scott! how you must
have shrunk!'
Tom Bashful-"Say, Jack. can you
give me any light on the subject OF
making love?'' Jack Beenthare-
Tom, my boy, no light is needed.
It's better in the dark"
Jack-'Charley, why don't you pro-
pose to the Widow Green's daughter?
She's rich and is regarded as the pearl
of her SEX" Charley-"I know it, my
boy, but 1 dislike the mother of pearl. :"
..Oh, l am the flower that bloc ms in
the spring." sang an intoxicated indi-
vidual as he lay on the sidewalk. ''You
don't seem to possess the self-raising
qualities" said the cop who gathered
him in.
A crisis in Spain-"Moi gracia! Tho
baby has the stomachache. Lord
Chamberlain (excitedly) = "Woo.o!
Call the Secretary of the Interior"
Don't you know how to spell?"
asked the exasperated teacher of the
extremely phonetic boy. "Oh, yes"
said the boy Il know how to spell well
enough, but the men who made the
dictionaries don't seem to-"
This seems like sweet Dream" he
rapturously remarked as he fingered
with her at the door step. ut doesn't
seem like dream to me-" she replied,
for dream soon vanishes, you know. :"
He vanished.
In the restaurant-''Seeh here, waiter,
there's roach on this BUTTER" said a
guest at an east side restaurant. 'Just
chuck him down little furder so he
can't git away an I'll tend to his case
when I git froo wild dis gent"
Eyes, sir; lost my way down in
Texas, and for three days wandered l
knew not where, until at last l discov-
cred to my great joy man hanging by
the neck from the limb of tree. Then
knew / was once more in civilized
country"
'Then, Miss Antique you cannot be
my wife?" said the young gentleman to
the ballet girl to whom he had proposed
and by whom he had been gently re-
jected. ''No, Mr.. Dood. / cannot be
your wife, but will be grandmother
to you"
'.Now remember, Belinda" said Mrs.
Sharpley to her daughter just married,
violence in anything is unladylike. OF
course you will sometimes disagree
with your husband, but always hit him
with the soft end of the broom"
Visitor Cat insane asylum) -"Who
is that fine looking man making stars,
crosses and things out of lettersp" At
tendant -"Oh, he was the editor of a
children's column in some paper. One
week he lost the answers to the puzzles
and tried to solve them himself"
His idea of modesty -Customer-
'Why are you so unassuming that you
never make comparisons between your
goods and those OF other houses?'
Manufacturer because modesty Is
the best policy In business. You see
we never admit that there is any com
parison at all"
Mr.. Briggs-I wonder what women
will do next! 1 see in the paper that
the women in the east are running
their health nowadays by eating tea. '
Mrs. Briggs-'Do you suppose it il
any worse than eating coffee? Every
night you come home munching coffee,
and it seems to make your nose reddel
and redder, to say nothing of the looks
of your eyes.
Mrs. Briske-"Johnny, did the doc
tor call while was out?" Littl
Johnny stopping his play)-"Yes'm
He felt my pulse an looked at my
tongue, and shook his head and said il
was Very serious case, and he lef
this prescription ard said he'd cal
again before night" Mrs. Briske-
Gracious me! II wasn't you / sent
him to see; it was the baby"
The Domestic Doctor.
Scarlet fever has been spread