The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-06-18
THE rowars PHOTOGRAPH.


One of The favorite trysting places in
this town Is down beside the little lakes
in the Monument grounds. Not the
lakes used by the Fish Commission,
but the water-lily ponds just inside the
limits. A gravcled path winds in and
out among the luxuriant growth Of
bordering the banks, and
here lovers stroll in the cleaning, or
early in the morning, before the hot
rays Of the sun have penetrated. Any
one passing along the broad asphalted
roadway that leads TO the Agricultural
Department can hear voices at almost
any hour of the day or night issue from
the clump of ponds and bushes, and n
pair Of cat birds have built a nest and
are raising an interesting family Of
chirping young ones on a limb over
hanging the water almost within ones
reach. II Is one of the prettiest hooks
in the grounds, or rather IL was, for Che
flood did lots Of damage, washing the
banks badly and carrying away the
frail little bridge that spanned narrow
strait where love.lorn couples used To
stand and look down at the reflection in
the still water at their feet.
~
There Is n man in our town whose
nerve is something colossal-that Is, II
the stories his neighbors tell about him
are right. He keeps saloon on the
south side of the Avenue, and 1t runs
clear through to ID street. One morning
last week, about II O'Clock, business
was very dull, there not being q single
customer in the saloon. Then, so the
neighbors say, the thrifty saloon keeper
went TO the back door of his saloon,
opening onto ID street, and when nobody
was looking fired a revolver OF course
something like thousand people
gathered. and as the police were unable
TO find anyone that saw the shot fired,
the saloon keeper was not arrested. But
out Of the crowd that gathered were d,
least a half hundred who wanted q
drink. and they bought them Of the
thrifty saloonist. And the saloonist
laughed in his shirt sleeves at his clever
scheme to'make business boom, and the
neighbors say he has often done the
same thing.
%"~
An old riverman in o loquacious
mood talked for an hour yesterday
about the mystery of the Potomac.
"It's just like Congressman, he said
ut never gives up nothin'." What he
meant was that the bodies of people
drowned in this river were almost never
recovered. The bodies Of people
drowned in the surf nc sea, or drowned
In rivers and lakes are almost invaria.
bly, recovered. But, as the old man
said, not one in seven Of the bodies
drowned in the Potomac is. The old
man recalled the drowning of Senator
Morgan's son and his lady friend as
one of the few cases in which the bod.
les of the victims of drowning acci.
dent were recovered. THE Potomac
hates to give up her dead, " lac said
The reason, the riveman said, is that
the bottom is either covered with jag.
ged rocks, which catch and hold 9
body, or with long. string like seaweed
that twines and tangles abouta body
and holds 1t under the surface as firmly
as II IL was anchored. The bottom OF
the river is so irregular that It is alnos
impossible to recover q body by drag
ging for II as they do successfully In
other cities. And the old river seems
proud of its carpet of fwhite, washed
bones.
Did you ever think of Washington
facilities for suicides? OF course tht
reason that so few people suicide her,
Is that Washington is such apleasan
place to live In that nobody likes to leav,
1t. But there are many facilities 70
shuffling off this mortal coil here II
Washington. Poison is too common
place and Is apt to be painful. Besides
II hasn't the spectacular suddennes,
that truly artistic suicides like. Now
a jump from the top Of the Washing
ton Monument preferably outside
though permissibly down the inside
The very difficulties in the way, such a,
watchmen, etc., make II all the NOR,
attractive. Then one might go up or
the inside of the Capitol's dome ant
leap from the gallery inside, hundred
and fifty feet down TO the stone floor
or one might go clear to the top and
spring over the low marble balustradt
that surrounds the outlook Just below
the lantern and go sliding down TIL,
steep rounded side Of the dome and be
crushed. TO q pulp on the red painted
copper roof, two hundred and fifteen
feet below, If one wished to drown Ii,
might Jump from the new free bridg,
at the other side of Georgetown, ant
ifit was well-timed and done nj {
point well toward the Virginia end oi
the bridge rescue would be impossi
BILE. There would be drop Of some
forty five feet to the deep river nndeI
the bridge. and before boat could pu
of from the shore, supposing the at
tempt was seen, one could drown as
leisurely as he chose. One could go II
the electric hight works and touch som,
OF the apparatus when no one was look
ing and be dead seconds before his BODY
would have time to fall to the floor. 4
disappointed pension claimant coult
make very theatric exit from thi
world Of sorrow by jumping from tn
upper gallery in the Pension Office
lofty court down TO the tessalated floor
hundred and twenty seven feet below
All these methods are free. as trul,
popular means OF suicide must be. Is,
investing small amount of money
pistol or razor could be got. But II yo'
have money why suicide? I
~
The Commercial Gazette says that
young Ohioan has been having a goo'
time In Washington, owing TO his re
markable resemblance to Mr.. Byrnes
the Appointment Clerk of the Treas
uIy. Mr. Byrnes Is at his home h
Wisconsin, but some friends who raj
across the Ohioan and noticed his like
ness to the Wisconsin man. conceive,
the idea of introducing him around a
Byrnes' brother. The joke has resulte,
in the Ohio man being decorated will
boutonpieres by lady clerks in tn
Treasury whenever he visits that De
partment, and in his receiving innumer
able invitations to drink from the NAL,
Treasury clerks who want TO stanl
solid with the Rvrnea fnmilv Th