davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
New Series, Vol. 20, No SO.
HISTORICAL PUNS.

David Ker, in Harper's Magazine for Sept.
The Roman Bishops famous eompli-
ment to the handsome Anglo Saxon cap
tives, Not Angles, but angels" had
greater results than its actual brilliancy
might seem to merit; and st. Leo doubt
less had no idea when he prayed to
Heaven to aid Rome against the invad-
ing Huns, land hurl back these TGrtGrs
into the fires of TdrtGI1Ls," that the pun
ming prayer was to fix upon the unlucky
"Tartars" (as they were then called) a
nickname that would never die.
Such punS have more than once play
ed formidable part in history. France
expiated by the devastation of an entire
province coarse and clumsy play upon
''corpse" and 'cOrpulence" made by the
French King in derision of his terrible
neighbor William the Conqueror.-
Charles VS. jesting assertion that he
could put Paris in his glove (gant),
though meant only to indicate the supe-
rior size of Client to the Paris of that
day, stung Francis l. into the renewal
of languishing war. One of Louis
XV.'s upstart favOrites was driven from
the court by the biting pun that turned
his new title of Marquis de Vandiere in
to marquis dAvant-hier'' (the day be-
fore yesterday.
The epigrammatic brevity of Sir
Francis brakes celebrated but probably
mythical dispatch announcing the rout
of A do rrrhf ~
single word "Cantharides," i. e., the
Spanish .tay-has been twice paralleled
in our own age. Sir Charles Napier and
Lord Dalhousie respectively announced
the annexation of Scinde and that of
Dude in one word apiece, "Peccavi," L
have sinned (Scinde), and "Vovi,"I
have vowed (Oude). Equally historical
is the bitter pun that changed the name
Of the sluggish Admiral Torrington to
Admiral Tarry- in-town."
Napoleon (whO was no man for light
iesting) is credited with only single
pun, and that rather poor one. During
MS great Italian campaign of 1867 he
replied to a lady, who wondered to find
such famous man so young, 81 am
TOung to-day, but tomorrow l shall
nave Milan" Il. e., ''mille ans, a thous-
md years. A much better joke was
hat made on the great cOnqueror him
elf by an Italian countess, who, hear
ng him say, "AI Italians are traitors"
eplied pointedly, "Not all of them, but
good part (BOu-na- parte). Equally
leat, and even more grimly significant,
vas Bismarck's answer to a person who
vas specializing how much the impend-
ng war of 1870 would cost France
Not much" said the Iron Count; "Only
100 NapOleOnS!"
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
PRESERVATION OF SUNDAY.

Atlantic Monthly.
While the object of the Sunday laws
of our fathers was to protect the Lords
Day from desecration, with us their
justification must be the protection of
each individual in his right to his regu-
larly recurring day Of rest. Yet the laws
which we use and abuse to-day are the
mutilated remnants of those of old; and
it is partly because it was the ecclesiast-
ical rather than the humane spirit that
directed their composition and has re-
sisted their modification, partly because
the relations of man to man have been
so vastly changed during the past hun
dred years, that revision in a new
spirit, on new principles, is needed.
Neither must this revision be made in
the careless, uncOnsciOusly selfish spirit
that has modified or ignored the laws
in the past. In insisting on liberty of
action as well as of conscience, we over
look the fact that our manner of using
our Sunday freedom often deprives
others of theirs. A hundred years ago,
or even fifty years ago, there was little
danger of this. Then, nearly every
man was his own master, and could
work or not on Sunday, as he pleased.
In our present social system, the en-
ployed are the multitude, the employers
the few. The enlargement and cOncen-
tration of industry have reduced to a
small proportion of the whole cOmmun-
ity the number of those who can decide
the question of Sunday labor for them
selves. In this way it has naturally
come about that the avarice of employ
ers combined with the selfishness of the
public has been gradually deprived more
and more of the workers, and often the
hardest workers, of their reSt-day.
If our Sunday, then, is to be preserv
ed, it must have the protection of the
law. Yet experience has shown clearly |
enough that law avails little without the
support of public sentiment. That the !
great majority of the American people |
do appreciate their day of rest, and de- |
sire to protect it, we think it beyond |
dispute. The petition lately presented |
to Congress, known as the 'l4-milliOn
petition" though it had by no means
that number of actual signers, probably |
represented the sentiments of almost /
every one of those who personally atfix
ed their names. The main support of
this petition was from the churches and
the working classes; notably from those
who, like the locomotive engineer, pray
for the restoration of Sunday already
lost. The strongest support, too, came
from those parts of the country where
the greatest encroachments have already
been made on the true liberty of the day.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
Bel1tnttt Chronicle.
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 1889.

OUR offer of low-rate campaign papers
met with responses from some of the
poSt-offices of the County. We desire to
express thanks to those of our friends
who interested themselves in the matter,
and to repeat the declaration that in no
other way can Republicans of the Coun-
ty so effec ually promote the good cause
in the campaign in which they will soon
be engaged.
The rate offered (25 cents each, in clubs
of ten and upward, until after the No
vember election, ought to add one thous-
and names to the subscription list of THE
CHRONICLE within two weeks. That ad-
ditional constituency would be reached
and stirred every week for about fifteen
weeks, at cost of less than two cents
week for each. Is this not, incompara-
bly,, the cheapest and best way to reach
the people? Is not the newspaper, 60
ing into families week after week for
more than three months, more apt to
make an impression than passionate ap-
peals addressed to men on the eve of the
election, at one hundred times the cost
The offer is still open, and we hope to
hear from every post office of the County.
Remember: The price is 25 cents for each
in clubs of ten or upward,
from the time received until the week
following the election.
This plan offers cheap, easy, and eff
fective way to reach the people, and the
of the County should avail
themselves of it with spirit
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

THE Ohio Democracy declares trusts
to be the outcome of the tariff, and calls
for the repeal of the duties which main
tain them. 1t looks as if the Ohio Dem
ocracy never had any acquaintance with
the Standard Oil Trust; although past
political events have created decided
ly different impression. But it is signi-
ficant that the Convention does not pro-
pose any measures to suppress the great
combine which has in times past put up
the money to elect Democratic Sena-
tor from Ohio.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
TALKS ON THE TARIFF.

New York Press.
A Mr.. Baumann, foreigner, has beer
writing a letter to the New York Herald
The Herald prints extracts from it here
and there in free trade editorial back,
ing it up. Here is one of the extracts:
Owing to your antiquated, not to say
insane, high-tariff laws, you cannot
make blanket, coffee cup, jack
knife, window pane, roll of wall pa
per, pot of paint, or indeed anything
outside of few specialties and compete
in the worlds market, whose purchasers
you hope to attract to this exposition.
Let us see about that. How about
blankets? Before we had our antigua
ted and insane tariff laws" we had to
pay 81 for the blanket that now costs
$1.02, $3.50 for the blanket that now
costs S1.45; $3.50, 1915, $3.50, SO and
$I3 respectively for blankets that now
cost $19O, $2.58, $4.35, $5.S5, $3.50
And this big decline has gotten prices
down to within 30 cents of the price of
English blankets, quality for quality. 1t
is the most natural thing in the world to
conclude that continuance of the same
'antiquated and insane tariff laws" will
pretty soon bring the blankets quite
down to the English prices. What is
going to prevent Worlds Fair visitors
buying our blankets? Certainly not the
tariff.
How about coffee cups? Before our
''antiquated, not to say insane" high
tariff, tea sets cost $5, imported, which
we now buy for $3.50 home made. The
tariff was raised again in 1888, and cups
and saucers that sold for 81 dozen,
wholesale, in 1879, are now selling for
Is cents dozen.
Next, jack knives. Well, the iron and
steel 'antiquated and insane tariff has
enabled us to make jack knives that are
so good and so cheap that prices are one !
half what they used to be, and Great |
Britain herself buys from us. So do |
Mexico. South America, India and Aus
tralia, because our cutlery is better than
that made at Sheffield, the English jack
knife capital. Anything the matter
with the "antiquated and insane tariff
here?
As for window glass, single thickness
es have been reduced in price from $1.95
to $1.7S for smallest and $3.50 to $2.83
for largest sizes; double thicknesses from
$3.50 to $2.93 and from $12 to $5.18,
according to sizes; plate glass from
$3.50 to IS cents per square foot. What's
the matter with the tariff here?
All sorts of colOred and embossed pa
pers have declined 40 to 65 per cent. in
price under protection since 1861. If
that is the way the "antiquated and in
sane high-tariff laws" act, they are like
the whisky which General Grant used
to drink when somebody complained to
Mr.. Lincoln about his habits. Mr.. Lin
coin thought some more of the same
kind ought to be sent to the other gen. I
erals. i
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

WHENEVER strike or a lockout Oe-
ours in the United States the Democrat
ic organs agree in attributing it to the
protective tariff. Yet the great strike
in London, the free trade center Of the
world, has no parallel in industrial his
tory. If it be not settled soon free
trade England will have no trade at all,
at least SO far as London is concerned,
and millions of people will suffer for
want of food. What do the free trade
organs think of the London situation?
What do they think of the "liberal
wages" Is cents per hour for the hardest
and most exhausting labor ever per-
formed by human being.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
TO DO THE PROMISING.

Ohio State Journal
Farmers and workingmen are to be
educated" up to the point of believing
that if they will vote the Democratic
ticket this fall they will get coffee at IL
cents and sugar at / cents per pound,
and that the farmer is to get 81 per
bushel for potatoes while the working
man is to get all the potatoes he wants
at 80 to 35 cents per bushel. 1t is
charged by the Democratic organs that
last year the Republicans promised a
great many things, and that farmers and
workingmen were silly enough to act
upon these promises and vote the Re
publican ticket. This year Mr.. Camp
bell and his set are to do the promising
promise high prices for farm products
and low prices for food-and it is ex-
pected that, gudgeon-like, farmers and
toilers will bite the naked hook. Such
is the hope of Campbell Democracy.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

A HORRIBLE warning tC habitual
gum-chewers is contained in dispatch
which states that a charming belle OF
Washington has been compelled to alb
jure the delights of society and go into
retirement on account of an abnormal
of her jaw, caused entirely
by persistent and excessive mastication
of the fascinating but dangerous gum.
Young ladies who do not desire to have
too much jaw should take heed and gov
ern themselves accordingly.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
Established in 1918.
CHURCH DIRECTORY.

6RESBYTERIAN CHURCH-ReT. X Alex
ander, pastor. Public worship every SaDOati
morning and evening; Sabbath school $50 a m
vonng 1eOple's society of Christian endeavor, Mon
day evenings; general prayer meeting, Medhesda!
evening Strangers welcome to all services.
METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH-ReY
n HoIlingshead pastor. Sabbath preaching, II
=. m; p. m. young peoples meeting, III Monday
evenings general prayer meeting, Ihurs9aS ,i, eve
1ings. mems meeting, Friday evenings; SaDDaiii
school 80 pm Strangers cordially invited 10 all
erVices.
UNITED PRESBYTERIAA CHUhCf1-heN'
rhomas RalDh pastOr Sabbath school, 10 a. m.
public worship, IL a. H.; weekly prayer meeting,
Friday D. m monthly prayer meeting, last Satur-
aay of each month, p. m; woman missionary
! Dciety last Saturday Of each month, p; m dis
trict drawer meetings. first Tuesdays, Wednesdays,
Thursdays and Saturdays each month, p. m.
Young Women's prayer meeting, second Saturday
each month at the parsonage, p. m.
AFRICANM L. CHURCH-Rey.J j. Nj. wilkes,
DastOr, Sunday service, 1890 a. M; p. m; Sab
hath school 2:3O D. m; weekly prayer meeting,
Thursday evenings. Strangers welcome.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
A MOMAN,S DISCOVERY.

another wonderful discovery has been
made, and that too by lady in this
country. Disease fastened its clutches
upon her, and for seven years she with
stood its severest tests, but her vital or
gans were undermined and death seemed
Imminent. For three months she coughed
necessarily and could not sleep; she bot
of us bottle of Dr. Kings New Discov-
cry for Consumption, and was so much
relieved on taking first dose that she slept
all night, and with one bottle has been
miraculOusly cured. Her name is Mrs.
Luther Lutz." Thus writes W. c. Ham
rick Il Co., of Shelby, n. G.. Get a free
trial bottle at PattersOns' drug store. 2
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

THE twenty-third annual National
Encampment of the Grand Army of the
Republic was formally opened at Mil
wavkee Wednesday of last week. Gen.
Warmers address favors service pensions.
The reports show large increase in
membership. Gen. Alger was elected
Commander-in-C Chief. The Women's
Relief Corps held its annual meeting.
Gen. Sherman made a speech which he
said was the last one he would ever de-
liver. Boston was chosen as the next
place of meeting.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

THE latest estimates of the wheat
crop of Austria, Hungary, Russia and
Roumania, are that it will fall below
that of 1888 by fully 160,000,0O0 BUSH
els. We are evidently going to have
an excellent market for our surplus of
breadstuffs.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
MASONIC DIRECTORY.

BELMONT LODGE, No. Is, F. d A. M.-Meets
every Wednesday night, on or before full moon.
i II MFYFR Sec'y +. ID. BAILEY, w. VI.
ST CLAIRSVILLE CHAPTER, No. Il, ROydl
Arch MdsOHs-Stated eOnvOcatiOns first Friday OF
each month. =,
j. b. MEYER, Rec. r. ID. BAlLE1I H. H.
BELMONT COUNCIL, No 81, r. d S. M
Meets second Tuesday of each month.
j. b. MEYER, Secy. J. b. RYAN, I. |. Nj.
HOPE COMMANDER, No. 20, Il. T.-Stated
eOnclaves first Tuesday of each month
j. b. MEYER, Secy D. b. hhAN, T. Z.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

A YOUNG man and woman were mar.
ried at Manchester, n. H, Thursday, in
the presence of 10000 people. They
stood in the basket of a balloon, and at
the close of the ceremony took trip of
two hours through the clouds. They
returned to earth and solid happiness
well pleased with the experience that
made them famous.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
GEN. SuERMAN's ewes glistened whe

GEN. SHERMAN's eyes glistened when
Ransom Post, of st. Louis, to which he
belongs, gave him three times three as
they marched past him in the parade at
Milwaukee. Gen. Alger marched with
his Post and the cheers for him came
from the sidewalks, and kept coming as
long as he was in sight.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

CLAUS SPECKLEs claims to have dis
covered way to make sugar as hard as
granite, and imperviOus to water and
weather. He wants to build the new
addition to the White House with it.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

THE Democratic platform adopted at
Dayton entirely evades the temperance
question. Its trainers did not even
dare to condemn "sumptuary legisla-
ton"
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

Mr.. CAMPBELL has just retired from
his third term in Congress and is now
running on an anti-third term platform.
OF course the Democrats are opposed to
third term for Republicans but not
for Democrats.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

JAMES CAMPBELL voted for free wool,
but then he says he did so under protest.
The wool men will vote against him
without protesting.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
THE DAYTON platform is a dodper

THE Dayton platform is dodger. In
stead of coming out openly and declar
ing its principles in so many words, il
simply endorses "the declaration OF
principles made by the National Dem,
ocracy in st. Louis in 1885," That
platform was voted down in Ohio last
November. In little over two months
the Ohioans will vote it down again.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

THE mObbing of a radical temperance
newspaper Office out in Dakota is likely
to convince the mass of the Dakota peo-
pie that the new power which works its
rule by mob law must be speedily pull
VeriZed.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

A New JERSEY victim of the elixir of
life has sued the doctor who dosed him
with it, for loss of time incurred in re-
covering from its effects. He ought to be
thankful he escaped with his life.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

ALLEN o. MYERS, of Columbus tally
sheet forgery fame, and the Cincinnati
ballot-box stuffing gang from Cincinna-
ii were leading spirits in the Dayton
Convention. The people of Ohio can be
trusted to knock them out again this
fall.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

THE West Virginia Democrats appa-
rently do not care who casts the votes
of the people so long as they can do the
counting.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

The Democrats of Ohio, in Conven-
tion at Dayton, nominated James E.
Campbell for Governor, W. V. Marquis
for Lieutenant Governor, NJ. D. Follett
for Judge of the Supreme Court, W. E.
Boden for State Treasurer, c. C. Miller
for School Commissioner. J. NJ. Lewis
for Attorney General, Mark Reynolds
for Member of the Board of Public
Works, and l. J.C. Shoemaker for Clerk
of the Supreme Court. The platform
declared for Tariff Reform" and "Home
Rule"
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
CANNOT BE SURPASSED.
Columbus Dispatch

Columbus DISpatch.
Ex-Governor Foster is a candidate for
the United States Senate. The Repub-
licans have not had a better-all-
man in public life than Governor Foster.
In the business features of legislation he
cannot be surpassed, being thoroughly
successful business man in the private
affairs of his life.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

"SoME years ago Ayers Cherry Pee
toral cured me of asthma after the best
medical skill had failed to give me relief.
A few weeks since, being again troubled
with the disease, was promptly relieved
by the same remedy" F. ;. Hassler, Ed
itOr Argus, Table Rock, Nebr.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

THE National Encampment of the
Grand Army passed resolution ex-
pressing full confidence in the integrity
of Pension Commissioner Tanner.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

SUFFERERS from indigestion, loss of
appetite, liver or kidney complaints,
rheumatism or neuralgia, would do weh
to give Ayers Sarsaparilla trial. For-'
all such disorders, no medicine is so ef-
fective as this, when faithfully eutk per
severingly used.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05
REMEDY FOR POTATO ROT.

Ohio State Journal.
Potato rot or blight is fungus disease
which very commonly effects potatoes in
this country and frequently reduces the
crop one-third or one-half. 1t is caused
by minute parasitic plant-a fungus
which is chiefly propagated by the dis
semination of its spores res-infinitessimal
bodies corresponding in function to the
seeds of higher plants. When these
spores fall upon the leaves of the potato
they germinate and enter the leaf It's
sues, where mycelium-a growth anal
agous to the roots of higher plants de-
velops at the expense of the leaf to such
an extent that the latter is destroyed.
Some scientists have claimed that this
disease can be prevented by spraying
the leaves with a solution of sulphate of
copper and lime, but the matter has
never been satisfactorily tested in the
field until this season, when the subject
was taken up at the Ohio agricultural
experiment station, and the results show
that very large portion of the injury
can be prevented in this way.
The experiment, which was conducted
by the entomologist and botanist of the
station, Clarence NJ. Weed, included
four different varities, and the results
indicated an increase of 62 bushels to the
acre on the treated as compared with an
equal number of untreated rows. The
details of the experiment will be report
ed in an early issue of the Station Bul-
letin, which is sent free to all the resi-
dents of Ohio who apply for it,
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES celebrat-
ed the 8Oth anniversary of his birth on
Thursday.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

THE name of the prospective Demo-
cratic corpse is Campbell.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1889-09-05

THE old coal oil crowd of 1888 is
again to the fore in the Ohio Democra-
CIV.