The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-09-19

did not rush down 10 meet them. She
threw the door key out of the window,
and told them to open the door.
When she did so, she slipped a wrap.
per over her night gown, and Joined
them.
Behind her, holding to the tail of hel
gown, skunk poor little Myrtle, her teeth
chattering like castanets, and the great
big frightened Jumps in her throat al
most choking her.
"Where is he?"
ooh, the ~rascalr'
SIS Mr.. Pierce out of town."
"What keeps the patrol?"
Scan he have escaped?'
"No, l hear him."
"Just listen to that!"
'That' vas a perfect fusillade Of
groans, kicks, oaths, sneezes.
Despite the excited chatter going on
around her, Mrs. Pierce was cool, Mrs.
Pierce was collected. Indeed, she was
actually beaming.
What did men do, who, unlike Dave,
had incapable and brainless wives?
Her burglar alarm had been effective.
The scamp was most likely SO blinded
by the red pepper he could not find his
way out.
ventiye genius?
She would be praised for her brilliant
prudence. Perhaps-ecstatic thought
she might even be written up in the pa
pers under the caption of "Heroic Mrs.
Pierce" or "a Brave, Brainy Woman
"Hark!" some one said; "here is the
patrol wagonl"
And there it was, to be sure, dashine
up to the door with a great flourish.
The officers leaped out-entered the
Pierce residence.
All the crowding, half clad individuals
in the front hall commenced profferine
clamorous explanations.
(Which is the lady of the house?" de-
manded an officer.
81 am" modestly proclaimed Miranda;
land if it were not that I am a woman
of ~expedients, this contemplate law
breaker would not be SO neatly trapped
And she positively grew as she uttered
her laudatory remark.
ooh, come orr growled the officer.
Hurt but uncrushed by his brusque-
ness, she held the kerosene night lamp
over her head, and, followed by Myrtle,
the policemen and the ever increasing
group of neighbors led the way.
"There he ISL she cried, as she flung
open the kitchen door.
Myrtle gave a howl of terror.
"Yes, there he isp c~orroborated the
neighbors.
The officers advanced; SO did Mrs.
Pierce; SC did those following.
And this they saw: A room Uttered
with scattered tins and broken glass-a
room flooded with water-the air unbear-
ably pungent with the odor of ammonia
and floating particles of cayenne pepper;
and in the midst of all, seated on one Of
the overturned tubs, his elbows on his
knees, his head held in his hands, groan-
ing and moaning at an agonizing rate
the intruder!
"The bloodthirsty wretch!" exclaimed
Mrs. Pierce.
"Hush up; he might shootl" murmured
a cautious neighbor.
"Officers, do your duty!" loftily COM
manded the young man who was study
ing tragic recitations.
But they all were now sneezing in such
a convulsiye that an attempt tic
secure the midnight marauder was neces.
sarily spasmodic.
"Come! (a-chewD You are under ar.
rest!~ (t-t-chewD Help here, boys! Con
found that pepper!"
The man on the tub raised his head.
He looked around.
Mrs. Pierce gave o shrek of dismay.
sob, par yelled Myrtle.
The officers fell back. Those of the
neighbors who could speak between
sneezing began to question and explain.
The nan they had come to capture
rose-spoke.
81 missed the train (t-chu-uD I went
to the lodge for a couple Of hours. ]
thought my wife might have failed "a
tchew-oo-ooD to fix this widow, and
I-ah'-
He went off in another paroxysm.
Aludicrous and yet pitiful appearance
he presented.
He was dripping from a tumble in the
tub, dirty from a stumbling collision
with the coal bod, cut by the battering
shower of pots and pans, perfumed with
ammonia, and evidencing every symp-
tom of a most aggravated case Of hay
fever.
"Why didn't you use your latch key,
Dave?" asked Miranda.
because l left it behind in the pocket
of my old (chu-hu-oooD suitF" with an
angry glare.
"Or-or," more family, 'ring the
bell?"
"When the bell is broken?" he inquired,
with crushing sarcasm.
"Ohf' murinured Miranda.
She quite wilted.
Never again did she dare refer to her
self as a oma of expedients.
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