Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-04-17
THE CLUB AND MATRIMONY.
The One has a Decided Tendency to
Prevent the Other.
Boston Letter in Providence journal

Boston Letter in Providence journal
The town seems to be full Of club men, of
varying degrees of finish and of different flavor
according to the material from which they
have been manufactured, but all recognizably
of the same type at bottom. The club man is
, in the first place, and conspicuously, man
who is informed of all that is going on in the
city, the interest which other men give to do
mestic affairs being in their case bestowed on
the news of the community. Perhaps this
tends to wide range of sympathy, but it is
impossible to deny that it tends also to the de-
velopment of habit of gossiping
Il cOncludeda year or two ago" remarked
gentleman not long ago, that was getting too
rusty and too much absorbed in the things that
went on in my own little circle, and as my wife
had to go abroad for her health, gave myself
up to the clubs for a whole winter, and when
my wife came home again she threatened to
have me put in hospital for incurable Cos
| sips And the worst of the matter was that
| when l came to think the matter over l found
| that she was right"
OF course this is an exaggerated way of look
| ing at the matter, but there is good deal of
truth in it after all. Another characteristic of
| the club man is his easy adaptabiity to any
company in which he is reasonably likely to
find himself and his readiness to fall into any
train of talk or to take any part in any discus
sion. 1t is part of his daily training to be ex-
ercised in this sort of readiness, and he soon
becomes almost cosmopolitan simply from be-
ing thrown in with SO many sorts and condi-
tions of minds at the club.
He Is not unlikely to have picked up at the
same time a habit of being upon terms of
| familiar intimacy with various alcoholic bever-
ages which would not be fully approved by
people of strict ideas on this subject. He is too
well bred. be it understood, to be found under
the influence of liquor. at least to any extent
visible to the naked eye; but he Is apt to fall
into the habit of depending more largely than
can be thought wholly desirable upon the in
MIGRATING cocktail for his liveliness and to
keep his stomach i'll state OF excitement which
in the long run is likely to tell upon his diges-
| ton if not upon his temper. OF course this is
| by no means universal, and it is really saving
little more than would in any case be true of the
ordinary man about town. 1t is not so much a
consequence of club life as it is natural &C
| compartment of it.
Perhaps the best feature of this sort of life is
the catholiclty it gives, the freedom from stiff
| ness and formality, and the power of entering
| into the interests of ones fellows. The worst
| is that one pays for this by loss of earnest
ness which is almost sure to prevent devotion
| to cause or to an IDEAL and which seems to
| sap the vitality out of effort and belief alike
| The typical club man is tolerant because he is
| in dead earnest about nothing. II there were
| anything which could arouse him to lively
| activity, it would be his own comfort; but as
| his own comfort consists so largely in being
| placid and unexcited, it follows that he is de-
| feating his own ends when he actively defends
| even his independence and will This is, of
of course, the fault of the age as well as of the
individual but it comes to light in club life as
| 1t does nowhere else.
There are great many men who find in club
| life the comforts which would be beyond their
| means III their own homes, who are able on q
| given income to live far more luxuriously with
the aid of these institutions than they could in
any other way. 1t has been said that this fact
hlndered marriages. and very likely this is true
| Men who are accustomed to having things to
| suit them in a club, and who are not able to
keep up an establishment naturally think a
| good deal before they give up the comforts
they have for the doubtful blessings of home
which must be managed on an economical
| basis. II it were the fashion to be very much
In love, as it was in the days of our grand
| fathers, they doubtless would be less cold
| blooded about 1t; but, as 1t is, they do in many
cases conclude that bachelor existence is on
the whole likely to be more comfortable than
! the married state on a moderate amount of
| money This view of life NAV seem selfish, but
it is undoubtedly the one taken by many of our
manageable men, and it is difficult to see how
| it is to be changed.
A man belongs to one of the several clubs
| here which have restaurant; they get for a
| moderate sum O capital dinner, with the best
| of company. varied from day to day; and when
! they contrast this with dinner of herbs in
| their own home, they do not always find the
| prospect sufficiently alluring to be ready to
L
man said in my hearing, not long since, but 1
am more fond Of good dinners and good COM
| pany than am of domesticity, and I've con-
cluded to worry along with my clubs" And I
am inclined to believe that he belongs to a
pretty large class, some of whom have reasoned
the thing out in this way, and some of whom
only feel it vaguely.
The melancholy part Of 1t comes when the
men are getting along in life. Then many of
| their friends have married and have homes of
their own and little by little the club seems to
lose its delight. The lonely bachelor somehow
finds himself stranded and wishes he had made
a different decision long years before. won
certain amount Of approval in a discussion of
this sort once by laying down the principle that
while q man might manage to have a more
lively and perhaps a more agreeable time by
remaining single until he was forty, the trouble
is that when he is forty he finds that he should
have been married ten years; and the truth
seems to me to be an important one.
Nobody nowadays thinks of attempting to
live without club, especially if he be single,
and it is owing to this that it is necessary to
have SO large a number Of clubs to keep US all
satisfied. One who is at all familiar with
Boston can place a man pretty exactly by know
| ing what his clubs are, and the same thing is,
Of course, true anywhere. Il cannot afford to
belong to my club" is not infrequently the con-
fession Of young professional men; .but, on the
other hand. cannot afford not To