The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-03
abe gntelLfaenter.
0lIlsel 80. Es aaa Vi Fearlssnlh slresI.
PREss POINTs.
eliterature-InsCripti on tomb
Zones. Lslroil Frss prsss

Grave llteratuTe-lnsCripti on tomb
stones, detroit Free Pres,
Always moves in the highest circle
the gallery god,-Phiiddslphia Ledger,
Fashionable life is ms hollow and as
artistical as q crystal optic in mummy,
l-BsStoa Globe.
A horse is unlike man in one re-
spect, at least-he doesn't like to be
backed up.- burlington Free Pres,
a parrot will talk on the least provo
cation, but a crow seldom opens its
mouth without Caws,-New York World.
American President Ia few years
Observation-Disclosures aTmyPp Secretary
Of War-"He's gone out rowing in the
nayy."-Puck.
Now that man has been found with
two hearts, the monslrosity will be fire.
qpent plea on the part OF bigamists,-
baltimore american,
The man who is constantly contradict
Ing himself has the sweet satisfaction Of
knowing that he Is not always wrong
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Eva-"AIaude Smith is only fifteen, yet
she can fib without blushing," Clara
"Then she is ready for society and ought
to make her debut,"-Tiple,
The only way in which some young
men could evermanage to shine In socie'
~ would be to get themselyesa blacking
box and brush.-JOurHal Of Education,
"Were you ever in love, Mr., Kirk2"
Eyes, my dear, two weeks" GLOW was
thatr at took the girl that long to find
out that We didn't own tho house We
lived in,"-NelV York Sun,
Jake-"Mr, slowpa wants to know II
you'll open running account with
him." Dealer-'No; tell him Pm afraid
we'd have too much running to do be-
fore we'd collect it,"-DetrOR Free Press.
A country woman who was asked II
her twin sister resembled her, exClaim-
ed; claws, mol We amt no more alike
than's. II twain't us tall. She's lust az
different us l BIO t'other wayW-BostOn
Transcript,
Indulgent Papa-"Why, my dear, you
had u party last month. How often do |
you wish TO entertain you friends" She
This one is not to entertain my
friends, papa, but to snub my enemies"
Life,
Jinkins lat tho opera)-'What thst?"
De Music-"rhe score" Jinkins-
"Hello Didn't know score could be
kept OIL. a game like this. Which side is |
ahead, the ilddlers or the singers? "-
Philadelphia Record.
"steam heat is flBt rate" said mar
ket man yesterday, shut It won't do for
q grocery store. The heat Is so dry that
it shrlnks all the profit out OF sugar,
grain and several other staple articles"
-AuguSta (Me.) Journal,
Theatrical Hotel Proprietor (iuming)-l
"Well, sir, did you seize the wardrobe
OF the Fairy Queen Burlesque Company,
as l direCted2" Constable-"Yes, sir.
Got 1t ALL" "Where is itP" SIN my
pocket."-PhiIadclphia Record,
Governess- "Name the wisest man
that ever lived" Little Dick-"solo-
mOn." Governess-C Correct; name the
wisest woman" Little Dick latter med.
itation)-"Well, il I'say you, ma willget
mad, and II say ma, you will get mad"
philadelphia Record.
Mrs. Hashcrolt-" new boarder
need not try to make mo think thut he
is bachelor. lie Is either married or u
Billings-"How can you
tell?" Mrs, HashCroft-"lleal always turns
his back to me when lie opens his pock-
etbook to settle.-7crrc Hdute Express.