The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-01-05
BRIGHT BITS.

MONTANA LYSCHERs hung couple Of stock
ings I'D on Christmas I've, sim ly because they
nad a horse thief IL them.-P hilGIelD hsa
Ledger
No ONE has ever ye; been abe 70 explain why
& kiss Is such a pleasant Thing but the subject
S being constantly invest sated--SOHle~rlAe
Journal
LADIES may not know how 70 sharpen lead
pencil. but they have a wonderful Enack OF
bringing TO point tie fellows who can.-Albdng
J0l AGL
PATEBYAxILIAs- See here, what does this
mean The parlor clock j. stopped. Mr.. Nice
fellow was here last night as usual wash hes
Dsughter-Yes- pa; and told hlm what you
SAID abJut the cost Of coal and gas IN the par
l0T every night. and We began 70 wonder how
We could economic for you. and. finally, Mr.
Nicefellow decided thAt we culld AZ least stop
he clock and save wear and tear Of the works,
you ANON. Philadelphia Record.
It vas a Dakota court ! psvnbroker had
sued 70 recover money len on 81 article repre-
Seu--d as valuable bsI. fJlnd 10 be worthless
Your Honor" said tbe DEFENDANTS counsel.
Il move for noD-suit. The paTuer Is not liable
for the pawne g failure 70 observe that grand
old maxim. 'o1rsGt emptor; therefore, the
psHnee cannot sue.
The court VIII 50 hold: the Pawnee cannot
Sioux" remarked the judge.-SdH Francisco
Er1miner-
Col KAIyrurk-Yes sab; blood, isah I'll
xiii hin on sight
Philadelphan-Nu Murder IS punished by hang
III glory n any death in such case. sab
Blood, Blood. / say HI"
But durhg the months Of Imprisonment
previous 10 the hanging you viii be allowed
neither WHISKY nor tOO3cc1.
"Ehs III 20 right around and apologize. -
Ph4lddsl Phid Record.
'-RAcBEI. vot You dinks~ said Moses Stein
never. as he lay down his paper.
Z Ws lust reading by de baber dot Patti. de
singer. goes - ped al nine-tirty in der evening,
und gets opp agin al eight-tirty in der morning
bots v0t calls sensible, und you bet she vii
live to be a hoondred.'
Dots we're diBks You vos wrong. Moses. |
5inks she found dot she paid too much for her
bed, ind yos drying to get her moneys wort.
Aind it'''-Peck's Sun.
DIscRIxISATISG BENEyoLExCE-Solem
ing Stranger-Sir, am raising a fund for the
purpose Of instructing the poor little newsboys
and bootblacks Of our city in palHontology and
differentiel calculus. / am sure
Busy Merchant without looking up-I've no
time 70 listen 70 you. sir Here's dollar
Lady (timidly, some moments laterl-I am so
Letting money, sir, TO pay the expense of a sub
stantial Christmas dinner for the poor boys Of
the city-the newsboys and bootbacks-
Busy Merchant docking up impatiently)-
Madam, I contributed dollar not five minutes
ago for the benefit Of those boys Good morn
ing. Bows her out. l-ChicGgo Tribune.
1t WAS the night before the wedding. and he
was bidding her goodnight, and softly wills
pered:
Tomorrow eve my darling, we begin our
journey bride and bridegroom, pilgrims of
life together; hand in hand viii we journey
adOwn hfe's rugged road. We shall want TO set
out with glorious equipment OF faith and hope
and courage. that neither OF Us may faint and
fall by the wayside before the Journey is ended
viii We not. daflingg"
'I-I--oh, yes, TO be sure: only I really am so
worried about the train Of my dress. II didn't
hang one bit nice to-day VIXEN l tried the dress
on and I'd die with mobilization if il hung so
at the wedding tomorrow. Go on with what
you were saying, ear.'-Puc:.