Wichita eagle., 1889-12-11
that the men he made ridiculous resent

agreeable to one or two Of the men who are
to be at Darkkngbourne. I'd like awfully to
show them up"
Here the conversation ceased, but Tommy
sat for some time IN silence, thinking over the
project, and the more he considered it the
more be liked it. Two or three Of bis fellow
guests at Darkhngbourne were superior and
supercilious persons Tommy thought what
pleasure it would be to him to ''take them
down a peg" and then the thing was so easily
managed! There would be no occasion to
bride even the page boy. His own servant
was to meet him at Darklingbourne stat on,
and he might be his accomplish, and Sam
Pipeclay was to be relied on.
As the train drew up at Rottenboro both
Tommy's fellow travellers rose to leave. Both
were, it appears, going the same journey.
AS they got out the one who had suggested
the joke asked, with a smile, if Tommy in
tended to carry it out.
Don't you fear" said Tommy; 'its too
good a chance to lose"
The second traveller said nothing, but the
shake he gave with his head showed that he
was strongly opposed to such little pleas
antries.
A few minutes later and the train stopped
at clearinghouse station. Sam Pipeclay
was there. On driving to the house Tommy
communicated in the greatest confidence his
design to Sam, who, without demur or criti-
cism-he was military man and obeyed or
ders-undertook to discharge his part.
Tommy Apes, on reaching Darklingbourne,
found the other guests already assembled
there, and as he glanced round at them he
thought of his joke and almost laughed with
delight. What sight these very distin-
guished individuals would present when the
nerve shaking alarm bell sounded! There
was the great and Right Hon. Ashby Babier
who was accustomed to defy from safe
distance) what he called the brutal and in
satiable democracy"-how small he would
look under the shock! There were Capt.
Rammer-e lordly heavy dragoon-and Maj.
Prodmore, Of the Lanciers, both of them the
veriest carpet knights, and both Of them ut
terly detested by Lieut. Apes, whose regiment
was not quite so smart as theirs. II they
showed the white feather, as Tommy firmly
believed they would, how delightful it would
be- As for Mr. Jeremiah Mander, NJ. P,
late Conservative agent for Doltshire, and
Lord de Cellar, the convivial peer, and the
two other nonentitios who formed the rest of
the company-well, all that could be said
was that Tommy unprecedented no evil and
anticipated considerable amusement from
giving them bit of fright.
Dinner was served little after 8, and it
was not finished till considerably after 10.
Darklingbourne was famous for its dinners,
and this one was fully up to the general rep
utation When 1t was disposed of everybody
felt too comfortable to have any inclination
<o To haI
billiard room even was deserted, and all the
guests assembled in the library, where they
read and talked and smoked and some of the
elder ones snored. Sir Charles was lenient
host, who, unlike most hosts, believed that
what male guests enjoy most is to be allowed
to enjoy themselves.
As be felt that it was now time to begin
operations, Tommy Apes, who had been
chattering great deal all the evening, now
directed his talk to burglars and burg laries
In lone country houses this is always a fas-
cinating topic, and so before many minutes
Tommy, for the first time that evening, had
an interested audience. He told one or two
very exciting burglar stories. In all his tales
a gang of armed rufians attacked lone
country house, and, when they were OPP
posed, they shot wildly about, and left the
place a regular field of carnage Then he
paused, and others took up the conversation.
"For my part" said Sir Charles Noodle,
81 have always maintained that the house
holder has himself to blame for any burg
larry With proper precautions, burglaries
are simply impossb ole. 1t is not necessary to
have small garrison in your house to keep
robbers out; what is necessary is that you
should make it impossible for robber to
enter your house without creating an alarm.
Noise, it may be, breaks no bones; but still,
there's nothing like it for frightening burg
lars. That's my view, and so there isn't
door or window in this house that can be
opened after 10 o'clock without sounding an
electric bell. p"
"A very wise precaution," said Mr.. Man
der
''Haw, WELL" drawled that distinguished
warrior, Capt. Hammer. '1-haw-think
it's rawther OVERRIDING it, don't you know.
I-haw-would prefer to let 'em come in, and
then give 'em warm reception"
That's my opinion, too" echoed the gal
lant Maj. Prodmore ''It looks a bit cow
ardlv to take such PRECAUTIONARY least to a
military man"
IF there were an alarm, what should you
dor demanded Tommy Apes of the last
speaker.
"Well. haw-I-haw-should rush upstairs
and see who the doose 1t was" replied the
gallant major
Il think that l should run out into the
grounds and cut off the beggars' retreat
said tie soldier like captain.
If you went upstairs, should you take a
light with you or go in the DARK" Sir Charles
asked Maj Prodmore.
In the dark, decidedly" answered the
major. ITO take light would give the
scoundrels the advantage"
Yes. in the dark, decidedly" drawled the
captain ''You see, the light gives them the
means of taking aim at YOU"
Wouldn't going up in the dark to look for
an armed burglar be rather creepy bust
nessr' suggested Mr. Mander.
"Pshaw!' replied the captain; sit would
be nothing"
mo, not at all" said the major. "If We
soldiers had never anything worse to face
than that. we should have an easy time of it.
| should go up without tremor-haw-
Suddenly an electric bell went of with a
whirr! In a moment another, and apparently
a third Joined in the din!
AS the bells continued sounding, the guests
and their host gazed into each others faces III
speeches. horror All sat motionless while
the noise lasted W hen IL ceased no one
showed sign Of stirring. The first attempt
at motion was made when the convivial Lord
De Cellar. who was more than half tipsy,
made an effort TO conceal his bulky frame
under an arm chair.
As for Tommy, he could scarcely repress
his laughter as he looked round the room.