The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27
WORDS TO AMERICAN GIRLS
Mrs. Admiral Dahlgren Tells Why Our
Young Women Should Be C%haperoned.
Why 1t Is Safest for Young Girls to Have an
Older Head to Direct Them-Regrets Which
aChaperOn Can Spare a Needless Girl.
f~Copyrighted, 1851.

over her fiedgling whena baby with tender
devotion, who has watched her sweet bud
of promise mature, who has from year TO
year assisted the development Of the being
confded to her care.
As the skillful gardener knows well in
advance the effect he seeks to produce upon
his flowers by assidu0us culture, knows
even the delicate shading to be looked for
as each petal expands, SO o good mother
holds in her heart q hidden lore, connected
with the life of her child, all unknown to
the rest of the world. She may not be able
to communicate this knowledge to others,
for it is hers by the sacred right of in
tuition.
The prerOgative of guidance a mother
may always Justly claim. 1t is a part OF
the holy mystery of motherhood.
To our apprehension this matter OF ma
ternal chaperOnaee does not seem an
adaptation to the artificial requirements of
the social world. but rather an inherent
right-a natural claim, which a wise and
careful mother cannot well forego.
At the very time when her child is
launched forth from the safe and sheltered
home moorings into the swift and danger
GUS currents of the voyage of life. the
mother is most needed to pilot her dear
charge past all qulcksands and sunken
rocks. She can supply by her knowledge
the ignorance of youth. 1 would not ask
why should a mother chaperOn her daugh-
ter, but rather formulate my question into
why should q mother not chaperon her
daughter.
L fancy in the discussion of such a propo-
SitIOn NJ will ha fAunG mora n ffipvlIt Tn
prove the negative. and when the subject
is once properly understood, it must be
conceded that a mother should assuredly
continue her care. There exists no reason
becomes rather more complicated, per-
haps, when the mother may have
died, or when from any cause 1t becomes
impossible for her to perform this duty.
Then the American girl asserts herself.
She has been reared In an independence of
thought and action which makes her dis
satisfied with all restraint. She constructs
c~haperOnage as espionage. She declares
that she will not tolerate being watched,
and AYERS that she must be allowed entire
freedom and liberty of action, and she as
scrts that her own perceptions OF right and
wrong, and her innate delicacy of senti-
ment, are all that is needed to make it
quite safe for her to so wherever and when
ever she chooses and to do whatever she
wills to do.
Now this is true. and it is not true. In
the firse place, it is a mistake to confound
chaperonage with espionage. To suppose
that a chaperOn is a spy on ones actions is
a perversion of the proper functions of such
an office. A chaperOn is either a mother or
O selected matronly friend, whose tender
interest or frjendiiness is the best guaran-
Tee against mlscOnstruction.
Ayoung girl is supposed to be guileless,
artless and contiding. These are very low
able traits, which will doubtless some day
contribute to the happiness of a home cir
Gle of her own; but just in proportion as
these attractions exist. they become Ian
gerous without guidance from their very
nature and OR account or the mex perience
of youth.
Then young girls. even if ever so careful
ly trained. as to understand the nicer con-
world, are inclined to be needless, and
carried away for the time being by the ex-
hilaration of a gay life. Thus, with the
best disposition to do only what is proper,
they commit errors that in a measure mis-
represent them, and which they after
Now. it is obvious that the dignifed
presence Of q matrOn who loves them. or is
at all interested in them, would check all
inadvertent indiscretiOn from the outset,
and thus in the end greatly contribute to
their future well-beinG and happiness.
The situations are innumerable that sug-
gest themselves where such q safeguard
would be the greatest kindness.
~ Ito III udNO u eHy1u&s thdV
.'it is the first step that COSTS" How
true! At what cost OF vain and unavailing
regret might the wise chaperon spare q
needless girl!
well as of divorce would seem to go hand
in hand. 1t is in either case q broken
troth.
Now one of the special duties of the
mother, or the chaperon. is to guard their
manageable wards as far as possible in re-
ceiyiDQ the attentions of men.
An engagement, announced or unan-
nounced. is always more OF less cOmproInis-
Ing, and should, III honor. be deemed q
sacred promise not to be violated, unless for
grave and most serious reasons.
young girl unguided is not very apt to
weigh all consequences, and the future is
to her very dreamy. She lives in her emo
tiOns and in the present, and sadly needs
the aid of q pair of loving spectacled eyes
to make her illusions safe realities.
There are so many little things, which are
not as trivial as they would seem. where a
clear Judgment is needed. For instance, in
derstood that a gentleman has the privi-
lege of sending flowers, and perhaps, ii the
friendship is well established. boxes of bon
bons to q lady. AS to presents having a
money value, they are, OF course, out OF the
question.
Yet the frequent acceptance of even these
simple gifts is to be avoided, for TO make
these offerings habitually is q conceded and
lucuLlucuCt QluS IOT u lONoT 10 Ohor 10 HIS
fancee-so much SO that there is a society
phrase concerning these little gifts. calling
them "the regulation box of Huyier's," etc.
There is a very narrow dividing line,
therefore, between the permissible and the
not permissible. One takes it for granted
that no woman other than a heartless f1irt
willfully encourages the attentions of q
man simply for the vain qualification of be-
ing able to count his name among offers re-
fused. and therefore that any woman of
average astuteness can readily check ''in-
tentionsp of marriage before q man becomes
too deeply interested. 1t is also kind, to
say the very least, to spare a mans vanity
the notification of a refusal.
1t is a strange fact that In almost every in
stance where q vain coquette has openly
boosted of her conquests she ends by &C
ceptlng the most ineligible offer. A vertigo
of gratified glory seems to seize her
and cloud her Judgment.
Society then acts as q Nemesis. and comes
In with its cruel and persistent memory,
and the unfortunate contrast of what is
and what might have been is not forgotten
by the -four hundred" How often is the
sarcastic remark made concerning some
belle. of what n poor choice she made
after all" Or, a score of years later. one
may meet o faded beauty bearing an OBJ
scure name, and all that 10 of any interest
concerning her is the remark that she once
refused some self-made man whose name
electriies because he has made a distin-
guished career. Perhaps a sedate chaperon
might have better disseminated If con-