Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-19
GOD HELP THE RICH.
THE POOR CAN BEG.


From tho Shah of Persia to tho bride, n
large photograph album, containing pic
lures of himself.
From the President of the United States,
cable message asking God to keep the
Queen In the hollow of his hand when not
otherwise engaged.
From Prince Bismarck a red message.
marked Collect"
From the editor of Punch. paid up sub
scriptlon to the paper for one year.
From the Lord Mayor of. London. box OF
caramels from BUYERS. whose ad. will be
found elsewhere in this paper
From the regular local humorist. who
always sends something extremely funny
to the groom. and then sinks again into OBJ
security, one jumping jack. price Cd.
But space forbids a full description OF the
wedding presents, and / pass on to speak
oi other mattei s.
ran across Bret Harte the other day at q
reception and reproached him for some re-
marks once made by him which reflect upon
me. told him that it was hardly fair for
expense, of mine. | do not play euchre,
especially with Chinaman, and | made
him admit right thore before every one
that he did not moan any disrcspect when
he said:
And gazed upon Nye and Nye gazed upon me,
- And he rose with sigh and he said:
Can this be?
We are ruined by Chinese cheap labor,
And he went for that heather Chinee.
Mr.. Harte's hair is now white also his
mustache. but his face is ruddy. He has
shaved Off side whiskers he used to wear
and his eyeglasses dangle by u string.
lie does not seem to have lost any OF his
American ways-at least did not notice
that he had done SO.
Speaking of euchro and kindred gaines
reminds me OF little incident which oc-
Cured on the steamer coming over from
America. You see on an ocean steamer "A
miniature world. There are various kinds
OF people from everywhere all thrown to-
gether Tor II week, perhaps. and manifesting
their queer characteristics.
On board the steamer few DAYS out
from New York our stoker gave up to tho
heat and died. He was brought on dock to
get what air there was, for We were in the
gulf stream. and even the passengers painted
in the shade. Inside the smoking room a
party oil mon were playing poker, and an
interesting Jackpot was in the center OF
the table. Red, white and blue chips We're
poked forward one after another, till spec
tators held their breath. Outside the stoker
was gaspng at long intervals and waiting
TOR death.
AT this moment the fresh young man
with tho kodak camera came along. Ho is
everywhere this summer with his little ko-
dHk. He Is even in Paris and London maxi
ing views of respectable American citizens
VINO are abroad, for tho purpose of having
middling good time. and not for the pur-
pose OF having their pictures taken. In fact.
they would pay small bonus not to have
their pictures taken sometimes.
Well. the breezy youth got ready. and,
with good light on the face OF the dying
man, was about to enrich his collection,
when gentleman from New Orleans, who
really had the best hand for the Jack pot.
saw the performance. He rose with LAUGH,
and throwing down his hand face up. so MS
to lose the jack pot. he won't to the port
hole and said: Young man, II you do that
1 VIII throw you and your cursed concer-
Una INTO the hungry sea. may be wicked
man. l play poker. and | am somewhat
unregonerate, but II you dare to photo
z apa that poordevl on the shores of e.er-
nifty. Just to brag about it when YOU get
nome, you Will in less than two minutes
make the loudest plunk that the Atlantic
Ocean has been the recipient of for some
time" '''
Ho then resumed his wicked game Of
draw.
have just met the man you always meet.
who knows you and who holds on to your
hand and makes you guess who he is. He
Is generally man you do not know. and
are glad OF 1t. He holds you and let's you
suffer while you try to recall tho place
where you saw his disagreeable face, and
friends are waiting for you. You look nj
your watch with ono hand while the other
IS gently parboilel in his grasp. He looked
1t me ms famished numidiun coon from
Georgia looks into the bright red heart of
l laughing watermelon. and wished had
lot been SO foolish as to leave my bright
new gun In my dress suit the night be-
fore. He would not tel me his name or
where he lived, because ho seemed to think
that | ought to remember that. Possibly
l met him years ago when he wore n
smooth face and clothes with n wide black
and white stripe around them. Now he
had Jute ,whis kers. parted in tho middle,
ana London clothes. which hung on his
system like the seat OF baby elephants
trousers. oi course could not remember
him. AS he did not have tho politeness to
tell me his name. told him | would have
TO be excused and go up to the Royal Pal
ace and play tennis. When every other
man who introduces you does everything
else but pronounce the names it Is only
etiquette to refresh tho memories o! peonla
aiterward. StiIl l was saddencd all the
AFTERNOON by this occurrence. and when
her royal stoutness asked me WHY I secmeJ
SO sad l could do nothing but with from
bling lips lean on her shoulder