Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-10-05
MERCHANTS OF THE PAVE.
Grease Eradicator and Tooth Cleanser
For Sale at so Much Box.

Grease Eradicator and Tooth Cleanser
For Sale at SO Much q Box.
The peddler with the carrotty bang and
eruptive complexion was fast asleep on the
high box that served him as q sort Of pulpit
for preaching sthe merits Of his wares, which
were displayed upon q small portable stand
readily folded up like the camp stool he sal
upon, SO that the proprietor, at Q moments
alarm. could ''up stakes" with the readiness Of
the proverbial Arab, and, valise in hand,
silently steal away. But ne unkind policeman
warned him to move on" nor did anybody
even examine his stock-in-trade. For the
available crowd of possible customers was
| gathered about second peddler dozen feet
away, of a cadaverous aspect but infinite parts
| of speech, who poured forth Niagara Of elo-
looking stuff he sold to take out spots from
| cloth.
| Takes 'em out like magic gentlemen" he
was saying. "Grease, paint, stains Of all kinds
and every description-hair oil. sardine oil,
| salad oil, gravy, butter-all removed as with a
charm from the fabric, leaving not speck be-
hind-excuse me if. merely for a moment.
| rob you OF your hat"
Whereupon, he deftly lifts from the bald
| crown of an old colored man, standing by, the
hoSt oatteTeu oiu Tile lI1aS luaple, auu, uippluB
| sponge into water first and then into the
soapy-looking stuff, rubs it vigorously upon
| the front part of the brim, keeping up all the
while the same unpausing oratorical flow.
| "Sardlne oil. butter, gravy, paint, hair OIL,
| ham fat, chicken-grease-by-th e-ight-of-the-
know, that an analytical chemist wouldn't find
in the cloth of this hat? See, have drawn
| THE GREASE FROM THE FABRIC
| into the sponge and now / squeeze the sponge
in the water; sponge the brim of with the
water and now look at it-chicken grease, per-
| spiration, gravy, ham-fat-by -the-dark-of-the-
| moon all gone from the spot l have been
operating on. Here's your deer uncle. Two
boxes, SIR? A quarter, please; thanks! And
the fountain and remove this large COB of
| goose grease from the coat lapel of the gent
with the stovepipe hat"
The gent INDICATED submitted to the exper-
iment with evident reluctance, being grabbed
before he could make his escape and the
stain was removed as before, with the same
continuous jabber on the operators part to
accompany the performance. As q matter OF
tact OF course, the preparation applied was
| simply
soAP-BARK MIXTURE,
which made the stains disappear temporarily
by removing the dirt on the surface; the grease
remained in the cloth and. q few days later,
more dust collecting upon it, the spots would
come out as conspicuously ever. But that
dld not prevent the vendor from selling great
MANY boxes OF his grease eradicator before the
other peddler, with the scorbutic countenance,
woke up suddenly and began to declaim on his
own account to an audience consisting Of one
| small bootblack. Whereat, as if by preconcerted
| arrangement, the cadaverous orator inn
| medlately sat down and took up newspaper to
read The crowd about his stand drifted over
to the other, and, for their edifcation. the
small bootblack aforesaid was lmme diately
seized and subjected, without the Formally of
| asking his consent to an operation upon his
teeth. Grasping the boy by the collar the
and, inserting his fingers into the hapless
victims mouth SO as to distend that feature
uncomfortably, displayed to the interested
| spectators set of grinders that had evidently
NEVER KNOWN A TOOTH BRUSH.
"Did you ever see worse lookin' set of
teeth than this 'ere?" cried the man with the
carrotty bang, with suspicion of the cockney
in his voice. why, It's lawful that's wot it
Is. Evry one OF 'em covered an inch thick
with tartar-wich the doctors will tell you is
carb nate O. lime deposited from tn saliver-
an all sorts of disgustin' nastiness. A nice con-
dltlon this fer young kid to be goin' round in.
1t gives me pain, that's wot it does. See me
do the good Samaritan act, now, an without
cent of pay. Watch me make his teeth rs
~.
charge him nothin' fer the service and send
him on his way rejoicin' Keep still nowr'
This last admonition was, of course. addressed
to the small bootblack, who, being held tightly
by the back of the neck, finally submitted to
having his teeth scrubbed with tooth brush
that had been previously dipped into a box Of
the patent preparation, which the peddler was
trying to sell. The stuff performed its work
admirably, for. like all such preparations, it
contained a powerful acid, which at once ate
M .1.,N
tins grinders, but incidentally the enamel
that forms the hard protecting surface Of the
teeth, keeping them from decay. Necessarily
the teeth were spoiled. to a great extent, for
life, but they were made white as ivory in
moment, and, upon their final triumphant ex-
hibition by the vendor several spectators were
so impressed with the virtues of the cleansing
agent that they invested at once in box
apiece, to take home and injure their own
chewing apparatus with.
ACCOMPANYING PRESENTS
"With each and every box of this marvel
Gus preparation" shouted the peddler, Il give
away packet of needles, machine that will
cut glass like a diamond and an automatic
tater parer. Gaze on me while l remove the
kin from this large Irish vegetable. Is it not
wonderful? Watch me while l slice up this
piece of glass with this curious little instru-
ment. The glass cutter, the later parer an
the needles all go with twenty-five cent box
OF the great tooth cleaning and preserving
medium. You can give the glass cutter to
your boy, the later parer to the cook and the
needles to your wife, and the whole family will
be happy. All these things are given away
for gen'rositys sake, free gratis I'm not
tryin' to make cent out of wot sell here, but
only to advertise the goods II it wasn't fer
tn Eaters that save after they're peeled I'd
starve, fer fact. Heyn
WAR OF WORDS.
The exclamation was aimed at q rather tall
and very thin man in a premature winter over
coat, who had remarked aloud to a fellow
spectator that the tooth cleanser was a swindle
"Wot's that you say, my blooming" de-
manded the peddler. with some ferocity.
II said you was a skim" replied the stranger
calmly.
Say it ag'inr' fairly howled the man with
the carrotty bang, as if incredulous Of his own
ears
You're fraud"
''Oh, that's il, is it?" said the peddler less ex
citedly, but with extreme sarcasm. And how's
things down at the jail2'
About as they were when you left, sup
pose
The crowd laughed, and the peddler re-
joined with increased sarcastic intensity:
They said you was locked up in the jim jam
ward fer the summer, with pads on the walls
and ball an chain fer playthings But, now
the cold weather is comm on. the city is get
tin Aooded with bums.'
so see, and do all of 'em make Twin BY
fakln with tooth-ceaners and potato-p arers?'
The crowd laughed again at this, and the
peddler was thereby wrought up to an addi-
tional pitch of anger.
I'm onto YOU" he shouted shaking n