The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1889-09-06

PoE1 tor tie aged-a,..

Atk G
Porr for the aged-o rev.
II the average la.ter pevs,
In ANYTHING worse than . andulgsd
tacks there would be fewer hs a.h'ol It
days. 'lae Nor.
MISS FLYrE, do you think Mr..
is laughing At met" II can't sa 1'g g
softleigh. She often laughs :. say, MI.
nothing" ~ almost
@Too MUCH 'Pomp,' at fun.,,,.,
man remarked when he saw a h;a a
ering at the obsequies Of = ''s gath.
citizen. ''lofed
WHEN = washerwoman chanoo.
place of residence one NAV sS,, her
"where she hangs ont now S s;. l'er
using slang. "''noat
Pa she called up stairs, ..,:
clock down here in the hall isn't ao;n ,n, y
@It isn't. eh?" he returned; well 1'ins
let that be an example to Adolpl,s sls
AN eye 70 ouslness-Boy (tohis friend
who has fallen down the hole saa
Tommy, if you never should conn., say,
of dere erlive. a I have your l ua'
purp? 'a''
W1FE-This is the third t;mo
have come home drunk this vs. ou
Hubby-D-don't he SO p~-pessimistic vs.
dear. You should think of thu fo,,s
nights I came home sober.
Forty thieves was recently billed "a,
q Montreal theater, but it was a failn,a
The insignificant number of thieves w.s
only ieered at by the American COLONY
Of defaulters and cashiers.
CuRLEY-I say, Whitley, this meer.
schaum you presented to me is not cen.
uine. Whirley-Why isn't it? Curlev
I've only had it six weeks and the
blamed things getting yellow.
BEss1E-So this is q saw mill.
wonder what they do with the timber
that is all full of knot holes? Jennie
From my own experience, I should
say they used it to build bathing
houses.
YorNG Husband-What? You ~
twenty-five years old to-day? Why,
you told me a year ago just before'thc
wedding, that you were only twenty.
Young Wife (w%earily)-I have aged
rapidly since I married. -
BoBBy-Don't they ever try to kill
the bulls and bears on Wall street
papa? Papa-Yes, they do kill then
sometimes. Bobby-With a gun
Papa-No, they catch them in q tral
and pinch them to death.
FRED-I say, Chef. what would 70,
think of a man who buried two childre,
in the morning and went to u horse-rac,
in the Afternoon? Chet-I should thinl
that he was the worst cuss that eve
lived. Who was he? The undertaken
WHAT delightful colors, Mrs. Simp
huysen," exclaimed Mrs. Bobberneck
as she examined one of the latest gem
in bathing dresses. "Yes," said Mrs
Simphuysen, II do SO admire thes'
blushing tints-saves blushing your
self, you know"
lam sorry to give yor pain, Mr.,
Ferguson" she said to the kneelins
youth, "but your score is q goose egg
this time" "Not much, Miss Kajones,
he replied haughtily, as he rose up ana
took his hat; "you can'tprevent me from
scoring a home rum"
YABsLEY--Well, Wickwire, I hayj
given up my position. 1 have $1,OGa
saved up. and 1 nm going to study LAW
and get into politics. Wickwire-You
haven't got the sense of a last years
oyster. Ii You want to get into politics
why don't you take that $1,000 and
start q saloon.
AT o cafe n group of gentlemen dist
cussing politics.; a young student en-.
tered and joined in the conversations
his argument did not please the Others
and one of them said to him: "B,|
quiet! At your age 1 was an ass my
self" "You are wonderfully we'll pref
served, sir" was the reply.
ScApEGRAcE-Do your spectacles
magnify everything? Optican-I have
some glasses that magnify everything
seen through them. Scapegrace-'
Well, 1 want a pair to give to old Grab
hold that will make my income of $500
a year look like $1,000 till after his
daughter and I are married. 4
"YoU'LL never die of consumption.
john" said q wife to her husband when
he came home at o late hour q little tliel
worse for wear. II won't die of conf
sumption-what makes you think so?|
Because your lungs are sound Glow
do you know?" "How do I know? Bel
cause your breath is so strong
C1r1zEN.-Mike, / understand you are
suspected of belonging to the Clan-na1
Gael? Mike-Thin, be tn powers, its
tn furst toim in the hishtry .ay "a
famoly tibet a O'Houllihan was sus
pected av bein' q fool! Dye think was
Oi wan av thin Clan av Gaels Old b1
wurreckin' mo life away fer the gas
company for q dollar an a half a day
when Oh moight be on the peleece farce
an film a snug Office under the guyel1
mint?
MEASURE rOR MEASURE.