The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-12-28
MIN HB0UE Y0WN.
CHANGE OF BASE,

uHN HDVuT TUNA
CHANGE OF BASE.
A fellow who waded through Greek
With Jay-Eye-See gait, so TO speak,
Was requested one day
To assist wl,l the hay,
But instead made arightsuddens sneak
Why walks he sadly down the street
And never cracks smolle
Because upon his neck there rides
A bold and blear-eyed boil.
When It Rains.
Life seems hardly worth the living,
When it rains.
Men are cold and unforgiving,
When it rains.
And the women-holy Moses.
How they sneeze and rub their noses,
For the time of all their woes is
When it rains.
--LOmsrille Journal.
CAPTAIN Wallen, the gentleman from
Joliet, who is sinking the big well on
the north bluff, is equally as proficient
at telling good story as he is at drlv-
ING wells. When in town, the captain
puts upat the Clifton, where his great
shoulders, for he is six feet three and
splendidly proportioned are a signal
for general rejoicing. Here | met the
captain.
"Ever hear that berry story he
asked at our first meeting.
81 believe not, Captain"
"Well. it was in the summer or 50,
and | was engaged in sinking deep
well at Iowa City. No liquor on sale
in Iowa, of course. All sold on the
sly if it is sold at all. Such was the
case in Iowa City; but blacksmith
the blacksmith of the place-waS a
great hand for whiskey and for long
time kept jug in the rear end or MS
shop. 1t was filed with currants and
Whiskey and while it lasted you bet
the boys never pined for damp whis
tie. Finally the authorities dropped
to the little scheme and it fell through
When everything had blown over,
however, the blacksmith retilled the
Jug but neglected to furnish the Der
ries. One day down town merchant
happened along and asked:
"Got any good whisky, JIM
"Yes, but keep it dark, there's ears
to the walls"
The merchant went back to the real
room. 1t has been warm day. Some
one had left a little whiSkey in the
cup. The flies Were quite numerous
in fact. the cup was full of flies. The
merchant poured out the whiskey. Ii
went down at gulp. So did the lilies
"Well ~ exclaimed he. "High-toned
drink-berreS in it :"
*x*
"When / was out in California,
said John Mayo, land while | was
recovering from my almost fatal Ill
ness, | took daily walks into thu
woods as health tonic. One day, a:
l was sitting on log, with my guI
across my KEGS watching for coon,
noticed large tree, some dozen yards
away, bulge out and contract with {
steady movement, much like an ami
NAL breathing. Thinking perhap,
that it was a hallucination,.
brushed my eyes and looked again
Yes, it moved. Then l became
alarmed. All of the ghost stories o
my youth foated before my excited
brain. Finally | went and gOtan AK
and started to chop into the tree tt
see what had caused its most un
natural movements. One cut lal(
bare the secret. The tree was 81!
feet in diameter, but the trunk was ;
mere shell. 1t was filled to the yer.
top with living coons. Their breath
ing had caused the curious phe
nOmenOn."
John still holds the belt.
~
One of the pleaSantest and perhaps
one of the most desirable of Old-tlm'
customs which should be perpetuated
is that of presenting to the mother o
ladies of the household at Christina
a silver spoon. The custom was in
trOduced in the seventeenth century
and was much in fashion in England
and on the Continent, PARTICULAR.
among the nobility and upper classes
and it came to be Of considerable sig
niticance and Importance, inasmucf
as the donors wed with each other il
securing for their wives or othe
friends such specimens OF silver al
were not only of considerable in
trinsic value, but of rare and unusua
pattern and of exquisite finish. AnC
so each spoon naturally came to be IL
a certain sense historic; at least il
would always be souvenir of the
particular Christmas festival when it
was presented. The matron of mid
die life would have suggested much OF
her family history and experience by
simply looking over her Christmas
spoons. Besides, these gifts came t
be valuable heirlooms, priced anC
handed down the family line as wit
nesses of high social position, if not
of wealth and antique lineage.