The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-10-31
eOe ~aURDETTR.

BOB eUROETT9.
Twain naysms. ~ . lDrsss baasnersss-Dss-
beet ~ ME- b. Wrsases.
From the Brooklyn Eagle.
Hits ds homes fack. boss. sho's yo' all In
or hon man er a Twin CONAN. dad q prin-
tab man. onc 90 desc heah publishes, q
done any dat or Glialeck niRRnA STORY er
done run hitsslf thes plum owit unds mosd
some oil dot unudter wolabuk pizsnens vns
apossd asseespiel. bs,9orrah. am ye can
rsstle n magazine clane Through widos
growin' wull an yer teeth yi-yalryah. Jim
now?
KNEW.
We sss. by the payers that she .'t'on-
Paris. Hypnosisns-that. Ia a peculiar
have hs..% that r. 'i sinS Of s' . con ns. rs: 1.-THE !" snis co.".
try, bsit 10 won't meet until next winter,
unless the president calls an extra scs-
sion.
TAI MIsERY or HAPPINESS.
What is "a Ia,ssimist. my son? Well. II
the spring opened unusunlly early, and
In the acreage Of cereals sown. and the
weather was 80 near perfection all
s%'"%s c ;iins no'o. anu cs ss, h. 70
vest @nowed q yield that fairly iifs.sd the
roof of the harm and made tlse sides of the
sle wat bulge; ".ra pr.st1 - have gone do w..
national debt paid. taxes reduced, a free.
soap trust organized by the ,snarchists.
SsAturSIly bbaele ~ leRStt kbolbatty ana ~
hours pay for eight hours work establish
ed by constitutional amendment. all the
aims houses closed for lack of patronage.
in the midst OF all this dawninR millen-
MUM you come across q man sitting ON u
fire plug on a windy corner, pour,
wy, ~s.,p.n gus BECAUSE = all sl,i. p% ..s y" is
apt to develop luxurious and wastefui
habit" among .n. n, sns. .,u,~ "a ppS Sss.
tian man tai s,c'l, "a sorrowful brother"
Kill him, my SON; kill him. Don't use
violence. Dust tie him to ~ man who is
hours.
a \
"Wha, do you call this, waitrr:"
"Whipped cream, SIR"
bad Is @hipped. Fake il away. ~
Waiter lproudly)-well air. there's no
use doin' ~ thing unless you do IL well.
Tells the steward the gentleman was
praising the way the cream was whipped.
HARDE TO RAISE THAN ROSES.
Dean Hole. in the discussion ON gam
bling at the canterbury diocesan confer
encc. defends playing whist at penny
points and thinks IA reiiRious lottery "a
harmless thing. We don't know abomt
get into himself knee deep IL hc ever tries
the. safety of u small ante and q low limit
open with common blue head matches,
takenf for nothing from the clerks desk.
rating at one cent on call, at I'D p. M.
nGslu q M neLDfe nlOrIllIlRs kxtIIl9s Illtttctls
Thc dean in an light IL he sticks To Whist
and the old ladies', hut he'd better leave
his boots and watch at home IL he ever
thinks of going out with the young men
to spend "a quiet evening ON ~ penny ante.
You'll lind tho developments very cumu-
lative, Brother Hole; very.
As 1T WE'RE, FIRE light
"In what light, asked the teacher ''did
the Emperor Nero regard the Christians
at RouncY" And the smart bad boy
thought il was torchlight.
PROTECTION OF
Alasper Gorick- Been laid off all sum
MGR like the rest of ms? Inu Himw.l,
joyously-Nn. indcctly; had "a snap. ali
May hotel. Ai..sper Vortex Take np
collections: Inu ~himwel-Not much
salary from tn: ho,,ss; A. l.; infre.iu-
the guests out of the parlor.
HELLO!
(:corg.. Himself can't understand il
IRA Nuthcr-wiat is il? George Himself
Why. that Miss DE Cyphcr you intro
ducssi me tn; l asked her four times to go
in the eye and mover said a. word. IRA
Nutlicr oh, that's all right; I forgot tn
tell you; she's ~ telephone girl; she. never
answers anybody mt first. TO hack, and
now you'll get her all right.
DOESN'T LAST LONG.
DIR. Brown-Sequard il confident that his
elixir of Life will restore impaired vital
ity for n period. but tlc is not prepared tn
say that its effects will be permanent.
Same old thing exactly. We never knew
Of - patent medicine In the tonic line yet
that was anything else hut whisky with ~
new alias. The new wrinkle now seems
tn b, injecting IL into the arm in
tn ths. old mans heels just the same.
Then he appear To have the the same
old trotIblc getting. over t.. "Bu don't
We. believe in the siixcr of life: Don't
We? Yea, verify, son; we believed in tire
cure, i'm blue glass, in faith
cures. i'm christian science, potato in your
pocket, water cure, mind cure, swedish
movement, "lnjun doctor, bag of cam
pllor and asafetidil round your neck and
rabbits foot, and do you suppose we're
going back ON Brown-Scquard? Nary
put the elixir i'm the creed; everything