Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-05-13

between the plums. Is there not good mile
between our bon mots? Is it legitimate art, is
1t kind, TO make the reader pursue converse
tion through several pages of talk void OF
thought stuffed with matter Of every day inter-
est? Is it not more artistic, and more humane,
to steam the whole down to an essence, and
then-well-add grain of salt and pinch OF
spice9
The reader shall be the judge. We will take
the morning dialogue between Mrs. Sidebottom
and Salome at breakfast.
GOOD morning, Mrs. Sidebottom."
81 wish you good morning Salome,"
Author: Cannot that be taken for grantedf
May it not be struck out with advantagef
AZ hope you slept well" said Salome.
''Only SO SO. How is your poor mother?'
"Not much better. thank you"
"And darling babyf"
About the same. We have indeed sick
house. Tea or coffee, please?"
"Tea, please"
"Sugar?"
Sugar, please"
"How many lumps?"
1.-Two will suffice"
al think you will find some grilled rabbit.
Would you prefer buttered egg?'
Thank you. rabbit" said Mrs. Sidebottom.
81 will help myself"
II hope your room was comfortable. You
must excuse us, we are all much upset in the
house, servants as well as the rest. We have
had good deal to upset US of late, and when
we are upset it upsets the servants too"
Author: Now, therel Because we have
dared to copy down, word for word what was
said at breakfast our heroine has revealed
herself Pathological There were positively
four upsets in that one little sentence. And
we are convinced that If the reader had to ex-
press the same sentiment he or she would not
be nice as to the literary form in which the SEN
fenced was couched would not cast it thus
1--WE have been much upset; we have had much
of late to disturb our equilibrium, and when
we are thrown out of our balance then the SER
wants as well are affected" That would be
better, no doubt, but the reader would not
speak thus. and Salome did not.
The author must be allowed to exercise his
judgment and give only as much of the conver.
sation as is necessary, and not be obliged to re-
cord the grammatical slips, the clumsy con-
structions, the tedious repetitions that disfig-
ure our ordinary conversation.
The English language is so simple in struc-
ture that it invites profigate usage of it; it
allows us to pour forth flood of words without
having first thought out what we intended to
say. The sentences tumble higglety-pigglety
from our lips like children from an untidy nur-
sery-some unclothed, one short of a shoe, and
airy debates as they were conducted? Where
are all the ''hems" and "haws," the 81 means"
and you knows?" What has become in print
of the vain repetitions and unfinished SEN
tences? Is not all that put into order by the
judicious reporter? In like manner the novel
ist is armed with the reporters powers, and ex-
ercising the same discretion passes the words
of his creations through the same mill. Using
therefore, the privilege of a reporter, we will
once more enter the gallery and take down the
conversation that ensued at the breakfast
table between Mrs. Sdebottom and Salome.
my dear Mrs. p" said Mrs. Sidebottom, II
hope that you were not obliged to call up the
doctor In the night"
''No," answered SaIome, raising her eye
brows,
But what is the matter with your motherY"
"She has long suffered from heart complaint,
and.recently she has had much to trouble her.
She has had a great shock and is really very