The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-02-01
THE ROAD TO MORGANTOwN.


ger who asked tho Road to SIorgantowo.
IonRdSrilis Herald,
Robert Darrah wasof Irish origin, and
settled on Miracle Run, in AIouongalia
county, Va, aboutl708, when wild beasts
and Indians wero still quite numerous.
Though brave and generous, he was OF a
peculiar disposition, II he was asked a
question he would discuss almost every
question imaginable before he came to
the one asked about. At one time a
strange man rode up to his house and
asked him II he could tell him the road
to Morgantown,
"Yes, sir" said Darrah, II can tell you
the way to Morgantown as well us any
other man In this county. You will 20
right down here by old Joel Tuttle's, and
he is a very ugly man. He has a great
big nose on his face us big us my two
fists, and great plug Of tobacco In one
Of his jaws and enough amber in his
lower lip for forty ducks to swim in,
Then you will go right up by old Lynx.
eye Baldwin's and he Is our blacksmith,
The old devil he is burnin' up our
ploughirons and crippltn' our horses.
We will have toquit the old DEVILS shop
and go to Alec EmeriCk's over In Penn.
sylvania and get our work done or he
will break up all this neighborhood. You
will then go right up by old Bill Mer-
GERS, and you would take him TO be a
niger, by the graCious.gad, sir, but he
isa white man, as true as you are born,
sir. There is one thing bud like to for.
got. That old Bill Mercer has little
bit Of woman and she's only SO high,
and there's not lawsuit In all this
county but what that old hussy
Is witness in 1t, and whether she
swears to lie or the truth, am not
able TO say, but there Is one thing Ger.
tain, she is In eyerybody's mouth for it
Is Pegg Mercer here and Pegg Mercer
there and Pegg Mercer everywhere; and
| believe Pegg Mercer swelrs lies; do
by by the gracious gad, sir. You will
then 60 right down by Dan Cakes and
he Is one OF the h-lishest men you ever
saw In your life. He has twenty law
suits now, in Morgantown, and they're
all about SANDER. Oh, yes, nearly for
got me and one OF them Dowd women
have one OF the h-lishest law suits you
ever heard tell OF, aud that Is all about
SANDER. ICalled her Niger hussy, aud
/ don't know whether I will cable TO
prove 1t or not, but intend to try hard,
now mind what l tell you. And there
is Tom p. Ray and Guy Il. @. Allen, the
best lawyer in Morgantown, tells Inc
will beat the whole Niger tribe and
send them where the dogs won't bite
them, with cost and Islander too, sir.
"You will then 80 right down by TIE.
nant's mill, and them Tenants are great
big lusty devils, and there is one Of
them has his bead on the side OF his
neck, Just for handling bags, and they
are big rough suckers and they are most
always fghtin' and quarrelin' with some.
body or another. II they can't get
strangers 10 fight and quarrel with, It's
brothers, uncles and cousins, fightin'
and quarrelin' oil through each other
like hi and d-nnation, mind ! tell
sou, sir. You can't go to alog rollin' or
a house raisln' or anything Of the kind,
but what there is a lot Of these big
Tenants stripped, and blood a fyi1'
as big as turkeys eggs. There Is
old Add and long Add and little Add and
big Add and Add on the hill; and little
Dick and big Dick and Garrison Dick
and Roman nosed Dick and the devil
knows what and all. But there Is old
Ben Tenant, old Pete Tenants Niger
aud, BY the gracious CAD, sir, he Is the
only white man In the whole seed, breed
or generation Of them. Yes, and l had
like too forgot, there Is old Sam Minor,
down on this creek, he has got q great
big mill, and lie has great big 1lligators 10
carry the flour up on top OF the mill and
down again, and he has q hundred great
big fat hogs aud whose the devil grain
they got fat on can't say, but there Is
one thing certain. Therci Is old Joe Ten
ant that takes a big bag oimeal home
with him, now mind tell you, SIR. You
will then 90 right up the hill n past old
Johnny Eddy's and he has got q great big
peach orchard and he Is slillin' them
peaches into brandy and selin' 1t out at
d dollar gallon. God, he will have all
the moneyin this country, sir, and where
In the devil will We get enough money
to pay our debts with. This country Is
going 10 break up as true rs you are
born, sir, because there Is my son Joe,
no was elected deputy sheriff and he
came out from MOrgantown tho other
day and had a great big book under his
arm and he turned ninuty.nine leaves
and there was q summons on every leaf
and he didn't turn the half Of them.
And there Is another thing | like to o.
forgot, there is my son Joe, he's Consid.
cred one OF the. Bmartest men In this
country. ALL tho doctors and lawyers
about Morgantown Is counselin' with
my son Joe. There IL Tom u. Ray, tho
Clerk OF tile Court, he came out 10 sec
Joe, there was O mistake In the scripture
and my son rightiaed III and then you
will gorightdOwn by old Bon shooman's
and he Is my Bon.in.law, and he Ia one
Of the h-ll6heat ugllest men you cyoi
saw and hO has a great big she bull
dog and every ono Of my boys say
he will have q pup. ZOO says ht
will have q pup and Bob say
ho will have q pup Hen says he vii
have a pup and Bin says ho will have I
pup; hut there Is old Jake Kuhn, IN,
brother.in.law, he married my wiie's els
ter, he will 60 over and buy that bull dol
for bushul Of corn aud gallon Of wills
XIV, and they may all 20 10 hi for thel
pups, and ] had like 10 o. forgot, Their
is I'D Jimmy Morris down on this creek
las about ruined himself, lie rentel
out them great big bottoms 70 Minor
boys and they arc Cuttln' down great bl
hay stacks aud putting them up gree
and they arc smoking like chimney
Then ho sold the place 70 old Bill
Thomas TOT thouSond dollars whV
there was Ike Slater would have give
him five thousand"
NDld you sec Ike slatOrH" asked III
stranger. q,
mo, blr, said Dortah, "bpt ! say, u