The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1889-10-03
MORE FUNNY WORK.

MORE FUNNY WOkk.
Farming Is one Of the best occupar
lions for q young man. Even cab
bage-culture will enable q struggling
youth to get q head.
doctor" said q respondent pa
tient, IT believe I'm going blind"
"Bah," said the doctor, impatientlN
""that's all in your eye
The man who tries to argue q
woman into lovinghim may succeed,
perhaps. but he must have q long
life and no rival.-Somerville ournal.
"And how is your husband, Mrs.
mccarthy? is he as hard a worker as
ever?" 20, John ain'tworked a day
for seventeen years." lis he incapar
ciated?" mo, ma'am he's Dead"
"A Washington school teacher broke
one of his ribs one night recently,
while turning over in bed. The
scholars, next day, held a meeting
and rendered the turnover a vote OF
thanks. ....
In Washington a man can drop a
nickel in a slot and have his hand
kerchief perfumed. The proprietor
of this little device makes enormous
profits, giving only one scent for i've
cents. -.
Clarissa-"Oh, Lucia, I've been
looking at your lovely wedding pres
ents. There are seventeen full sets OF
dishes among them" Lucia-'1
shall. need them all, as I expect to
keep a girl."-Omaha world.
"When your practicing friend
across the way has learned how to
play the cornet he will entertain the
whole neighborhood." said Mrs.
Brown. EYES," said Mrs. Crown,
'but by that time there won't be any
neighborhood here."-
Father-My son, you must not dis
pute with your mother in that way.
Boy-But she's in the wrong. Fa-
ther-That makes no difference; and
you might as we'll learn, my child,
once for all, that when lady says a
thing is so, it is so, even if it isn't so.
"Then, my dear, you have really
made up your mind to marry a Wild
ower?" Certainly" "And does
he never talk about his first
wife?" 81 should like him
to try. If he did I should at
once begin to tell him about my
third husband"
eyes," said Henderson, "my new
book has received golden opinions
from all sorts OF people," Fogg-
''E#"hyy thought the press of the
country had been entirely silent about
it," Fenderson-"That what Isaid.
Silence is golden, you know,"-Bos.
ton Transcript.
The man who sits on q bent pin can
answer the conundrum: Where do
the pins go to?-Ex. Well, we don't
think he can. There isn't one in g
hundred who won't swear the pin
went clear up through the crown O,
his head, and anybody knows a pin
isn't long enough to do that.
A few days ago two men were in
Smiths barber shop. One had red
hair and the other was bald-headed
Red Hair Ito bald-head): "Youw were
not about when they were giving out
hair?" Bald head: eyes was there,
but they only had a little red hair
left, and I wouldn't take it."
Among the replies to an advertise.
ment of musical committee for a
candidate as organist, music teacher,
etc., was the Neutrality-suspicious.
I noticed your advertisement for an
organist, either for lady or gentle.
man. Having been both for several
years, I offer you my services"
Once a lady who had been disap,
pointed inlove wrote with a diamond
ring upon a window pane the fol
lowing line: "God made man up,
right and he" Here the sentence
stopped. A gentleman CHANGING tc
see it some time afterward added tic
it the following: Knight have re
manned SO, but He created woman
and She" -.
Young Mrs. Greene-"Henry, dear
do you think SO much bread and Mo.
lasses is good for Harry" Young
MI. Greene-"Certainly it's good fo1
him. Don't you know bread is the
staff of life?" Young Mrs. Greene
"Y-e-e-e-s-but so much molasses you
knowl' Young Mr.. Greene-"Well
what of it? He doesn't eat the mo.
lasses; he leaves that on the door
knob."-Puck.
Mrs. Billus (while giving Mr.. B. a
curtain lecture at a late hour).-
"Harkl What's that? I hear a noise
in the cellar. John, Pm sure it's d
burglarl" Mr.. Billus (getting out
Of bed.). "I'H AK himl" Mrs. Billus,
-"What are Won p0inp Tn do Ichn1