The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1889-02-09
puNcENT PARAGRAPHS

-Chaussier dried man In
ana there resulted only twelve poun1'
of solid matter. ;r
An experiment recently made IN
Scotland proves that the tortoise Can
walk a mile in four hours.
Telephones are great convenienco,
and vet people are all the time taking
sos;nst them. Yonkers Statesman
"A travelling man remarks tna' any
fellow who makes love to WIDOW 70
literally counting danger.-1he'e"''''s
Traveller. L.. ~
~ wish could sell all ! WRITE
,.e,narked a certain author to a lazy
..There are those" replied his COM
panion, sweetly. "who say you can
write all you sell."-LJe. .,.
-"Mrs. Barley, are you iamiliA-
with Songs without Words? ~ yes
quite. Mr.. Barkley frequently sings
them when he comes home In 'Ao'
morning. n-Tsrre Hdute Express.
"A brooklyn man intends to start a
goat farm, which he thinks will pring
him 5000 per day. He will STOCK ~
with seventy-fve goats, and as .ne Or
binary goat will give three pin.s ~
milk a day, he calculates upon ninesy
quarts per day at twelve to fifseen 0e"''
aquart. ~.
-One of the leading American cor
lanes has resolved to dispense with
..class yell'' next year. An institution
of learning that will thus aim deadly
blow at the higher education OF ou.
youth doesn't deserve the patronage Oh
the American people. Football may
90 next Norristown Herald.
--"You should have counted on tne
expense of married life before you
entered upon il" said the young nus
bands friend; lit was only question
of common sense and reason that you
should have exercised" Common
sense and reason?" echoed the youtn-
full benedict; "why. was in loves'
Chicago GLOBE. ~
Railroad SUPPLEMENTARY OF
the passenger cars need repairing
Head Examiner-"Yes, sir; No. 800 Is
in very bad shape; ought to go to the
shop at once" whats the matter9'
1.-TWO of the windows are so loose that
any ordinary man can raise them. SIR
Time.
Two Migrants called on a kind lady
in the suburbs of New York. "TO
which of you two shall / give this
nickelpn she asked. First tramp
.sGive it to him, madam. He has pur-
chased the route from me, and am
just taking him around to introduce
him to the customers. Teras Sittings.
Not Used to Travelling. Stranger
Cat hotel bar)-"Best whisky, please. "
Bartender (severely)-"This is pro-
hibition town, sir" Stranger-"Ah,
excuse me-" (moving away.) Bar
tender (excitedly) = "Great Scott.
stranger, haven't you sense enough TO
get sickP"-Drake's Magazine.
Editor Society Journal Ito repor-
ter)-''Mr. Jinks. the directors have
ordered me to raise your salary. You
bring in more society scandal than all
the other reporters put together"
Jinks-"Thank you. The advance will
be handed over to my wife. 1t is hers
by right" Editor-"How SOP" Jinks
-"She is the secretary of the ladies'
anti-gossip club. Carbon.
"A gentleman who has recently
AIKEN up French, and who loses no OPP
portunity of airing the little knowledge
he has thus far acquired Of that Lam
guage by translating and pronouncing
such words and phrases as his friends
might encounter in his presence, was
thus addressed by an acquaintance:
If you only knew as much English as
you do French, what a success you
would ber'-7ezas Sytin0s.