The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-10-17
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

vous ills.
Men who invariably live on tick
Watchmakers.
Berry pickers get what they can and
can what they get.
The good die young. This is particu-
larry true of the chickens.
What proverb pleases halter 1.-Two
heads are better than one.
j. q. Davis Old Soap is compounded
from the best material. All grocers sell
it.
What is that which you cannot see al
though it is always before you ?-Your
future.
Employer to clerk-Don't know the
mans address ? Well, write to him and
find out.
The grave digger is always finding
himself in a hole in the pursuit Of his
occupation.
The bad small boy, when his mother
calls, Is like the echo. He answers, but
he doesn't come.
Yes, Julius, the health lift is a good
thing, but don't look for it in the vlcin-
ity of mules heels.
Love is blind, which probably accounts
for the spectacles some young lovers
make Of themselves.
Some BARRIERS are illiterate and will al
ways remain 80 in spite of constant ap-
plication and head work.
One of the most dangerous and de-
moralizing of all drinks is the beverage
that is known as same"
Mrs. Jones-Don't trouble to see me to
the door, Mrs. Smith. No trouble-quite
pleasure, assure you
1t is better to lock the stable door after
the horse is stolen than not to lock it at
all. 1t may save the COW.
If you happen to see small boy chas
ing a humble bee, you will know when
he yells that he has caught 1t.
DUbbs-Did the old gentleman leave
much when he died ? BObbs-He lett the
earth. What more could expect?
The man who is in the habit of trying
to get to the bottom OF things should be-
ware of falling overheard in mid ocean.
A country man, on being charged by a
rampagious bull, held his wife firmly in
front, saying-Stand steady, Maria he
can't toss both OF US !
Bobby-I know sumpin' Eddie-So do
/, Bobby-Whatcher know Eddie-l
knows you just got lickIn'. Bobby
Well, knowed 1t fore you did.
"Pa," she called up stairs, "this clock
down here in the hall isn't going" sit
isn't eh 2" he returned. "Well, don't
let that be an example to Adolphus."
The destruction OF Diarkend, Semlir-
itchihisk, by an earthquake will occasion
no regret. A town with that kind of a
name las no valid reason for existing.
A true lovers quarrel. He-Come,
now, let's kiss and make up. She-No,
sir l won't. He-Well, let's kiss, any
how. (They make up.SSomerville
Journal
Client to lawyers clerks the guv'nor
in Clerk-Well, cir, was out when he
went out, and Wasn't here when he
came back, so can't say whether he il
in or not.
Economy In the kitchen-Why, Ksr-
line, what are you thinking Of You
have two candles for your knitting
"Oh, no ma'am, haven't but one but
l cut it in two"
Seedy-looking individual, approaching
busy merchant-Willy you be kind enough
sir, to give poor fellow a liftH Mer
chant-Certainly James, show the gen
tleman to the elevator.
Catherine Lewis tainted one night il
"Olivette," but it didn't cause a ripple
in the play. Twas only a cough, anC
they had bottle of DIR. Bulls Cough
Syrup on hand, Of course.
Flows your friend Beggs?' "He ism
my friend any longer" ''Why how 4
that ?" HE did me deadly injury, ant
, don't suppose he'll ever consent to for
give me for it."-ChiCago Ledger.
MARY" said her mother severely, 81
| am not mistaken / saw your head Of
Georges shoulder. What sort of an at
titude is that for young lady ?" Mary
ecstatically-"Beatitude." philadelphia
Press.
$ whats the matter, driver ?" said
|, passenger in herdic, "why doesn't thi
4 coach go2" "'Cause you amt put
nickle in the slot, that's why" And al
the other passengers Uttered Washing
ton Capital.
t "a good memory is blessing" say
: writer. And it may be remarked tina
it is one that wealth cannot buy. Jus
y look at tine man who becomes suddenl
}. rich. He cannot even remember III
8 faces of his old friends.
u Would be purchaser-These cigars al
smaller than usual. Tobacconist-Ye
you see the cigar manufacturer notice
that the last two inches of the cigar al
always thrown away, 80 he makes thel
now that much shorter.
Seedy tragedian on the rialto-Got a
engagement yet ? Seedy comedian-Ye
I'm playing a small part at the Fashio
Theatre. "Whst salary ?" "No salary
! but the part calls for meal on the stat
and get something to eat"
His Sister.
There was blind person, and th
= blind person had a brother, and th
brother died, and the brother that die
never had brother. What relation wi
the blind person to the brother that dice
The most obstinate cases of catarrh a
cured by the use Of Ely's Cream BALI
the only agreeable remedy. 1t is not
liquid or snuff, is easily applied into Il
nostrils. For cold in the head it Is ma
ical. 1t gives relief at once. Price
cents, 1912
When the hair shows signs Of fallin
begin at once to use Ayers Hair Vigo
This preparation strengthens the seal