The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-09-26
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

A buy word-How much
Navy Plugs-Old sea horses.
A chatter box-The phonograph.
Forced politeness-Bowing to necessi-
ty. .r..s- . Ir-
Beecham's Pills cure bilious and ner-
vous ills. III. .... ..t
j. @. Davis Old Soap is the cheapest
and best soap on the American market.
Very few persons can hold their own
on their first sea voyage.-BoSton Cour'
Ter. a- ~. .rfr"
Neighbor-Well, Giggins, what are
you raising ? Amateur gardener (sadly)
-Blisters. -..Sa =
The march OF Righteousness should be
played on an upright piano. -Bdltimore
american. 'tf
Why should physician be good lin
guist Because 1t is necessary for him to
understand all tongues.
There is not much sentiment about a
Chinese laundryman, yet he daily wrings
mems bosoms.-Netc York Journal.
Employer sternly TO Jones, who has
been out the night before and Is late at
bis desk)-Well Jones-Not very, sir |
Peasant (after having thrashed stub
born ox)-See now, II you were not 30
obstinate we two might live together
like brothers,
What is the matter, my man /? Why
do you look go sad have lost my wife.
No wonder you look sad. Besides that ]
have also married another.
| De- sn-,,;.ol nohL.- ~. 49, -1.u -
turning from revivalist meeting, why
do those people shout so loud is God
deaf ? No, Bobby, but in case Of that
kind he is good way off.
A Dakota newspaper prints the follow
ing unique advertisement "1f John
Jones, who 20 years ago deserted his
poor wife and babe, will return, said
babe will lick the stuffin' out of him."
Mr.. Oldbeau-And your husband |
Widow-In Heaven these two years
Mr.. Oldbeau-I'm shocked at the news
He and fused to 60 out together. Inev-
er would have dreamed such thing.
A little four year old was being re.
proved by her mother. Why, Emily
she said, when / was a little girl my
mamma never let me do such thing az
that Who was your mamma, inquired
Emily, anybody know
Two Paris loafers are reading notict
I-Lost-a black poodle. One hundred
francs reward. One Of them says to the
other-You must take the one you stole
yesterday. But it is white. You mus
say it turned white through grief.
A Pittsburg lecturer told his audience
that lit is every mans duty to have al
least one wife to care for" The lecturer
might have added that the divorce anc
criminal courts show what happens to q
man who ventures to exceed the mini
mum.
We have a speedy and positive cure
for Catarrh, Diphtheria, Canker Mouth
and Headache, in SHILOH'S CATARRH
REMEDY. A nasal injector free with
each bottle. Use it if you desire health
and sweet breath. Price SO cents. Solo
by j. I. Shurtleff.
Jones (the gardener. whose son il
Office boy in city ofice)-Well, sir. !
hope you like my son John. hope he
gives you satisfaction. Master-Oh,
expect he'll get on presently. There's
IOuc SuiuB III MS ldNOE ne uOe6u buOTt
as loudly as my last one.
Rheumatism is caused by poisonous
acid in the blood and yields to Ayer'l
Pills. Many cases which seemed chron
ic and hopeless, have been completely
cured by this medicine. 1t will cost bu
little to try what effect the Pills may
have in your case. We predict success
How Nice
Miss Bell is looking, Addie. Yes, Laura
Why, only year ago her face was com
pletely covered with pimples. blotches
and sores. She told mother that sh,
owed her nice, clear complexion to he
using Sulphur Bitters. Well, Laura,
shall try them too.
shiIoh's Catarrh Remedy.
Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy, a marvel
GUS cure for catarrh, diphtheria, cankel
mouth, and headache. With each bot
tie there is an ingenious nasal injecto
for the more successful treatment o
these complaints without extra charge
Price so cents. Sold by j. T. Shurtleff
Bennington.
An exchange says that an editor ono
applied at the door OF Hades for admis
sion. "Well," replied his sable ma iesty
1--WE let one of your profession in her,
many years ago, and he kept up con
, tinual row with his former delinquen
. l.. l. a