Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-23
NOTES AND NOTIONS.
Many Matters Of Much and Little Moment
Terbely Treated.


Many Matters Of Much and Little Moment
Tsrsely Treated.
A LIVE issue-A kicking kid.
A SPANKING gait-One hundred to the
minute.
A NoN-LIcKER remonstrance. Mamma,
please don't"
SOME people may be honestly mistaken-the
weather bureau for instance.
PRESIDENT HARRISON never heard Patti
sing. He prefers the cooling of babe Mckee
Pity Pat
I'D. WEEKS is said to be lowering about
Washington looking for the position of Com
missioner Of Census.
MY art be still, :" whispered the music teacher
as he laid down his treasured violin to pick up
his beloved Viola
ALDERMAN M. F. CASSIDY, of the First
ward, became very i'll yesterday morning, and
is being attended by Drs. Orr and Shaw.
81 HAVE a Rose without a cent" thought
Slendercash, mournfully, as he tried to recall
her fixed gaze upon an ice cream sign.
"a STICK in time saves the nine" mourned
Anson, as he selected bat and sent the ball to
search out the mysteries of London fog.
MEssRs. EDWARD HENLEY and Tachus
were arrested charged with stealing some
wearing apparel and a gold necklace in Bald
win township.
THAT bog trotter is a fiatfooted dog does
not argue that a globe trotter is hat-footed
man, though he may come down in that way
occasionally.
MAYOR PEARSON signed the appropriation
ordinance yesterday, and the city employees
will receive their pay for the month of Febru-
ary to-day.
THE Board of Viewers legally opened Center
avenue from Aiken to'H iland. 1t has practic-
ally been opened for many years. Paving will
begin in the early spring.
HENRY LAFFERTY, Of Allegheny, while
driving up Smithfield street encountered a
cable car at the postofic ce and was thrown from
his buggy, but not badly injured.
BRIEF one-act drama-"Hello, Central (au-
thoritatively). "Hullo" (sweetly). why. how
are your cordially. "You mean. ugly thing,
you think you're smart don't your Curtain }
WON'T the Point delegation shiver with de-
light when Carroll makes a wild throw . Sec
ond this summer and yell-'Blawst yer heyes
yer bloomin' bloke, cawnt yer gawd der
wicket?"
THE Sons of Temperance will meet to-mor-
row evening at 6S Ohio street, Allegheny. Mr..
Andrew Bruce will have charge of the meet
ing MI John Boggs and others will make ad-
dresses.
SECRETARY RUsK has sent a watermelon to
every crowned head in Europe so they can tell
the difference between the Agricultural and
Navy Department. Uneasy will lie the head
that wears crown.
FURsCH-MADI kissed her lawyer twice in
court when she won that $4,000. 1t wasn't a
Pittsburg lawyer. The astonished Hummel
lost his presence of mind and refused Zee,
though he said he would like to retain 'er.
THERE will be Constitutional amendment
meeting tomorrow afternoon in the Moore
head building, on Grant street, under the au-
spices of the Sons Of Temperance. The meet
ing will be addressed by Colonel w. D. Moore.
MRS. MARY DIPPEL, is said by her deserted
husband, to have eloped to Indiana with $40 in
cash and man with the unpronounceable name
of Maloffskey. The deserted husband and chill
dren will run the woman's restaurant on Sixth
street.
VIRGINIA FARRELL, a favorite of Mrs.
Andrew Carnegie, has married artist Janus,
who has straightway fallen to painting his
wife's beautiful face. This will save her the
trouble. 1t is hoped she will not find her Janus
two-faced.
THE startling announcement, "Brains in
Chicago" started a rush of detectives west
ward. They found it was only Chicago doc
tress who argued that half Of mans brains is
in the stomach. She is now trying to hnd the
other half.
WILLIAM NJ. JUSTICE and George N. Fits,
of No. 1853 Fifth avenue, were arrested on a
charge of embezzlement preferred by W. h.
Chamberlain. 1t is alleged they are short 81 900
in their accounts with the Keystone Watch
Club Company.
A BLOCKADE Of over an hour occurred on
the Citizens Traction caused by broken grip.
Another car started to run away down the hill,
and only with the greatest effort was an acci-
dent averted similar to the one that occurred
on Washington's Birthday.
SANS Virgins, sans weather-Wiggins says
the weather may be better in the future, but so
many people ask him, please to make the
weather suit them. that he caunot please the
whole gang and sends in his resignation. The
proud tribe of Allegheny will be glad the fakir
leaves us, for without fatal Virgins we will
not have any weather, and upon consideration,
you can bet that is the only time each man and
child and woman will agree upon the weather
whenI we have not any weather.