Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-02-27
How MIR. White Settled.

rem the New 1Ork sun.
After explaining that his son John was
threatened with breach of promise suit, and
that the girl in the case lived only half a mile
away and was willing to be talked to, the old
man asked me to go over with him and witness
his efforts to affect a settlement. We found
the girl at home, also her father and mother.
They were all Smelling corn in the kitchen, and
Betty, as the girl was named, looked ANYTHING
but broken-hearted. She was twenty three
years old, weighing les pounds, and was in
clined to sentiment After greetings and a
general introduction, my friend, whose name
was jeremiah White, led of with:
Now, then. thar haint no use in chasing
rabbits all over the woods to find one in a trap.
Betty, you and John hev busted up"
''Yaas, but it haint my fault" she replied.
mo, indeed. added the mother. "He
busted of his own accord
Reckon he did" put in Betty's father, as he
laid down half-shelled ear to light his pipe
when folks is courtin' they often bust up !"
observed Jerry as he got comfortably seated
.'They git jealous. They git sick of each other.
They git outer sorts. Mebbe one has bad
breath"
'.Yaas, Jerry. I'm fouerin' ye," said Bettys
father.
'.And when they bust up the best way is to
be sepsible. John don't want no row with
Betty, and Betty don't want no row with John "
NO more don't" murmured the fair one.
John isn't fifteen for you. Bet. He's all for
nevis. and whisky, and tobacco, and fighting;
and you is all for poetry, and stars and clouds
and flowers. You is too high-souled for John y
'Shuck my hide if that hain't SOP exclaimed
Bettys father, as he whacked the edge of the
tub with big ear of corn.
Betty simpered and giggled, and the mother
looked pleased.
That's why you busted" softly explained
my friend. Had to come. Couldn't help it.
When one ia too good for 'tother bust always
comes Say, Betty. / couldn't sleep last night
for thinking Of that verse you wrote for my
old woman when she was sick last year. I'll
bet repeated it over a thousand times"
.'Oh, Ia Mr.. Whiter' giggled Betty.
'faas. II run in my head till couldn't sleep.
kept saying:
"old Mrs: White is very sick,
And mebbe she will die:
Although 20 save her from the grave
The doctor hard will try"
"Ah, Betty, if could write SIGH poetry as
that wouldn't be sloshing around here no
great while, and you kin jigger to thatr'
Honest Injun?" she asked, holding an ear
Of corn in either hand.
Dead sure. And now, Betty, being as You
war too good for John, and being as you've
busted up. I'm going to send you over them two
black hogs and geese as a present"
lis it for her wounded feelins?" asked Betty's
father.
. Kinder that way, and kinder because she's
BETS cried heap and she's lost lots Of
time" put in her mother, ''and you'd better
throw in that ar peacock"
'Durned il don't, Hammer! He's the incest
bird in the country, and peddler offered me
$40 for him, but chuck my hide If don't thro "
him inl''
Then won't sue," said Betty.
mo, she WON'T" added the father.
"Then it's all settled befo' this gent, who Ii
the witness" continued Mr.. White. 'Tm glad
ont. It's the proper way. When folks love
and bust up, as they sometimes will, thar's a
proper way to settle damages. We've settled
and I'll send the STUFF right over, and Bet will
be free to make up to that Teller who is selling
tanning mills up at the corners, and who'll be
down this way tomorrow"