davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
FUNNY MEMS FANCIEs.

Involuntary Honesty.-Taype-Wel I
see Skinem has settled all his debts at last
Tyker-You don't tell mel What possessed him
to 90 IL, wonder?
Taype-Necessity. He died.-Lies.
An Admirer of fArt.-Gentleman Ito lit
tie boy)-I say, sonny where is the blind man you
were leading about yesterday?
Boyle went to the Art Gallery to look AZ the
pictures.-TerdS Siftin1S.
Tommy-I say, pa, amt it pity we
can't eat a porcupine?
Pa-Why, Tommy?
because we could use his quills for toothpicks
after we got through eating him. ''-Tezas SIT
fngs.
Jeweler-The inscription you wish to have
engraved on the inside of this ring, If understand
you, Is ''Marcellus to Irene.''
Young Man with some embarrassment)-Yes,
that's right. But-er-don't cut the 'CIrene'i
deep.-Chicu0o Tribune.
Said rather frivolous New York lady L.
a friend:
'It may be years and years before find my ideal
man."
'.And what are you going to do in the mean
time?''
"Get married, suppose. .r-Tsras Sirtfngs.
On marriage (cynical view, probably, Of
person who isn't married):
How like the ague is this boon
Ofmatrimonial strffel
The fever ends in one short moon
The chill runs on through life
-BeIford's Magazine.
Ready to Oblige-Stryke (meeting q
frend)-Just the man 1 wanted to see, by Georgei
i came away without my purse this morning.
Lend me hundred-that's good fellow
Friend-Can't do it. dear boy. But here's q
dime. Take street car home and get your purse.
Lies
R0h in a.
new moon)-Why, ma, thought the moon was
round.
Mother-so it is, my dear.
Bobby-Like baseball?
MOther-Yes.
Bobby-Well, that moon musthave had the stuft-
ing knocked out ofit.-Neuo York Sun.
Wonders Never Cease.-Proprietor Patent
Medicine Tin a hospital)-My poor friend, hear
you met with terrible accident on the railroad,
near Smiths Crossing?
Patient-Yes; was thrown 50 feet and given up
for dead.
80 heard; and when you regained conscious
ness you were gazing on the big rock which con-
tains an advertisement of my Stomach bitters."
eyes, sir"
''well, you have been snatched from the jaws Of
death, and have called for testimonial. ''-NeSo
York Weekly.
Modestv's Triumph.-Lover-I1 love your
daughter, Mr.. Boodlesl
Mr.. B.-IndeedI Have you any money, young
mani
Lover-Not cent sir.
Mr.. B.-Aha! Any prospects?
Lover-My prospects will be very bad II you re-
fuse, sir.
Mr.. Bob, OH Any vices?
Lover-AlI know of, sir; If you can teach me
any more I'll learn them.
Mr.. B.-Well, by Gadl you are frank at any
rate. Take her. my son, and may you both be SUI
premely unhappy
Lover-Thanks, papa. Now, will you please In
troduce me? don't know her yet.-Lfss.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
RAN AWAY WITH A B0ARDER,

And the Young Lndy's Father Was So Angry
That He Fired Their Baggage.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
GENEVA, N. Y, January H.-Miss Lulu
Stetson and John Peterson, of Geneva, eloped
on Wednesday and were married at Romulus
by the Rev. ]. W. Jacks. They told Mr.. Jacks
that they were from Penn Yam. Peterson is
malster. Lulu is the daughter of E. q. Stet-
son, a dentist. Peterson went there to board
two months ago. and thus became acquainted
with Lulu. Before that he had paid his adj
dresses for a year to Bridget Jennings. who is
employed by w. c. Hopkins. an electric doctor.
On Christmas Day he gave Bridget handsome
gold watch, but it seems Lulu stole his heart
away, and a short time ago he asked Bridget
for return of the watch. She gave it to him.
Mr.. and Mrs. Stetson objected to Peterson's
attentions to their daughter, and forbade her
accepting HIM. 1t is said that when Mr.. Stet-
son learned what had occurred he had the
trunks of the bride and groom packed and
placed upon the back stoop of his house.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

THE majority in the House appears to
have come to the conclusion that the job of
sitting down on Samuel j. Randall, which
was undertaken last year, resulted in the
wrong person being suppressed. At all
events, the vote on the reference of the to-
bacco tax bill, Yesterday, puts Mr.. Mills
and his crowd in the position of the persons
who are used as a seat
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

THE election of Walcott, of Colorado, to
the United States Senate, is listed by the
Philadelphia Record as No. 81, of the RAIL
road representatives in that body. But
Delaware. Minnesota and New Jersey are
organizing against the railroad candidates
in way that may decrease the strength of
that party in the National Legislature.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
A BIG JOB COMPLETED.
sixty Clerks Employed Four Days Count.
inc Internal Revenue StamDs,

Sixty Clerks Employed Four Days C0unt.
ing Internal Revenue stamps.
WASHINGTON, January IA The committee
appointed to make an examination and count
of the stamps in the vaults of the internal
Revenue Bureau at the close of business Janu-
ary s. 1889, have lust submitted their report to
the Secretary 1t shows that there were on
hand January IA, 1885, when the previous exam
ination was made. 77.62l,2 ,2O6 stamps, and that
there were received from that date to January
s. lSS9 695 Sl1 $50 stamps, making the total to be
accounted for 773, 40, 1886, representing about
$780, OOO QUO. There were issued and destroyed
during this period $50 3S9.S5l stamps, ieav-
ing balance in the vaults at the date of the
present count of 93, ,043. .4S5 stamps.
The entire transactions of the year were con.
Quoted without an error. A force of 66 en-
ployes was required during four days to make
the examination.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
SENATOR HOAR REELECTED.

He Will Have No Opposition for the United
States Senate.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch. -
Boston, January A.-George Frisbie Hoar
will be reelected to the United States Senate
tomorrow without any opposition. There is
no outside interest in the election on this ac-
count. The members of both parties held
caucuses to-day, the Republicans devoting the
time to eulogizing Senator Hoar, bile the
Democrats voted to cast complimentary vote
for General Patrick A. Collins
In the Democratic caucus the first vote re-
suited in a tie between General Collins and the
Hon. William E. Russell, of Cambridge. On
majority, and then the vote was made unani-
nous. Tomorrow both parties will go through
the form of an election, and will announce
Senator Hoars return to the Senate for the
next six years.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

THE bold declaration is made by the
New York Graphic that "the low-necked
dress must CO." The boldness depends con-
siderably on construction, however. Fashion
has for some years decreed that the low
necked dress must go-to all the balls, re-
ceptions and dinners to which the fair
owner is invited.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

SENATOR PALMER's Sunday dinner par
ties are feature of fashionable society in
Washington this winter. There is such a
difference between the moral attitude of a
millionaire Senator and the poor working
man who likes to get mixture of beer and
music on Sunday, that the Senator for a
temperance State will not be interfered with.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
HOW 1T WILL BE DONE.
Senator Hoar Offers n Plan for the Count
ing in of Harrison.

ing in of Harrison.
WASHINGTON January l4-Mr. Hoar intro
duced in the Senate to day concurrent resolu-
ton for the counting of the vote for President
and Vice President, which was referred to the
Committee on Privileges and Elections. 1t pro-
vides that the two Houses of Congress shall
assemble in the hall of the House of Rep
resentatives on Wednesday, February l3 next,
at o'clock in the afternoons: that the President
of the Senate shall be the presiding officer.
That two persons shall be appointed tellers
on the part of the Senate and two on the part
of the House, to make list of the votes and
to report the result to the President of the Sem
ate. who is to announce the State of the vote
and the persons elected, and that that shall be
deemed declaration of the persons elected
President and Vice President of the United
States and shall be entered On the journal of
the two houses.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

Mr.. HALsTEAD's declaration that Presi-
dent Harrison may omit Ohio from the Cab
met list without hurting Ohio's feelings,
may be founded on the conviction that such
a course would leave two or three foreign
missions open to the ambition of the Ohio
adifore q
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
One of the Finest.

"One of the Finest" as given by Ed ]. Has
sons Company at Harris Theater this week.
will please the large audiences that one looks
for and is sure to find at this popular house.
The long list of characters, from John Mishler,
the model German policeman, to the inmates
of the insane asylum and the wharf rats, are
equal to all demands on them, and the scenery
and properties of the play are also good. In
terest in the familiar drama, from the first act
to the end, is well sustained, and the cllmaxes
all evoke hearty applause. Matinees this week
are given daily
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
THE SWEETEST OF TRUSTS.

Adrian College Boys Form a Corner in the
Sweetheart Market.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
ADRIAN, MICH, January 4-Among the
features of Adrian College which are not set
forth in the annual catalogue is a "best girl
trust" The young men are sworn to secrecy
and to abide by the rules of the trust, the OBJ
ject being the monopoly of the best girls
in the college. The organization began
by selecting as many girls as there
were members of the trust, who were divided
by lot, the provision being that each man
should entirely monopolize the lady assigned
to him for one month, and to allow no other
man to escort her on foot on pain of a heavy
fine and imprisonment in coal shed until re-
leased by the faculty.
At the end of the month each member must
trade girls with some other member, if called
upon to do so. The trust has been in operation
for some time, and it is said to be flourishing.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
Rice's Vaudeville Stars.

This company gave capital performance,
which was witnessed by a crowded house, at
Harry Williams Academy. Jack Dempsey,
''the Nonpareil," in a friendly encounter with
Denny Costgan, was of course the leading at
traction. Clever special acts, amusing variety
business, songs, ETC., made up good and In
"stars" are Thomas & Watson, Ward & Lynch,
Miss Emma Rogers, Harry McAvoy and the
Costello Brothers
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

THE deadly car stove and the negligent
fagman combined their efforts yesterday
near Tallmadge, O., on the New York
Pennsylvania and Ohio railroad, and man.
aged to destroy eight lives. 1t is to be per
ceived that the car stove, which was an
nounced to go year ago, is still going
majority of the trains.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

1t is interesting to observe that New
York paper is moved to remark: 'The most
disgusting of bench shows is when a judge
sits there disguised in liquor" This pro-
vokes the interesting inquiry, which of the
metropolitan judiciary has been giving
way to his enemy to such a degree as to
provoke comment in New York.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
Done for Her Diamonds.

Mrs. Emma Holesworth and her daughter
called upon Mrs. Elizabeth Huber last evening.
They looked at Mrs. Huber's diamonds and
asked her to show them her new watch. While
Mrs. Huber was upstairs getting her new watch
her diamond earrings, valued at $500, disap-
peared. She had Mrs. Holesworth arrested for
stealing them this morning. Both women are
well-to-do and dress elegantly.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

The Mayor of Bordentown. N. j., is
criticised by the New York Journal for
thinking that nine months imprisonment is
sufficient punishment for White Caps. 1t
NAV be short term for the Organization of a
system of infamous conspiracies; but if all
the White Caps were sent to prison for nine
months there would be period of relief
from the evil. In other words, nine months
Imprisonment is a vast improvement on no
Imprisonment at all.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
The Drug Clerk in Kentucky.
From the Chicago Times.I

From the Chicago T1mes.J
The State Board of Pharmacy of Kentucky
has been taken to task for granting certificate
of proficiency to young man who failed to
pass an examination. 1t was not the young
mans fault. probably. The chances are that
he showed the board how he could fill pint
flask, stopper it, and then gave them a new
way to draw the stopper. and the board sup
posed that was all a Kentucky drug clerk
should know and issued the certificate.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

The January dividends in Boston amount
to S12,5OO,OOO, an average of $50 for each
man, woman and child in the city. But We
regret to note that they were not distributed
that way. The majority of the population
did not get cent of them.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
DEATHS OF A DAY.
DIR. A. r.. Mcclure,

Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
BELLAIRE, o, .,1January 14.-Dr. A. r. Mcclure,
a weIl-known physician of this city, died suddenly
shis afternoon Of congestion of the lungs. He
leaves a wife and two children. The remains will
be taken to New Castle for Interment.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
A Fntal Quarrel Over Marbles.

John Smith, IL years old, and Edward Braol,
ID years old. quarreled to-day over game Of
marbles. They began fighting. Young Braol
struck Smith on the head with a board. The
blow was so violent as to cause conclusion of
the brain. Young Smith will die. The police
are looking for the playmate, who ran away.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

The desire of Mr.. C. P. Huntington for
the free importation of Chinese labor has at
least the virtue of frankness. But it is
noticeable that it was rigidly suppressed
until after the election was over.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
Casino Attractions.

Coffee, the skeleton dude, still occupies first
place among the many curiosities at the Casino
Museum. This will be his last week here.
Other interesting freaks are the baby midget
number of clever variety people give good
stage performance.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
Insaue From Cienre,te smoking.

Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
WILLIAMsPoRT. January H-Horace W.
Watkins, 6S years old, has become insane from
the effects of excessive cigarette smoking. He
has been taken to the Danville asylum for
treatment
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

THERE is an intimation in the dismissal
of the grand jury yesterday that the judge:
regard grand jury that will not do its
work, as shade worse than no grand jury
at all
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

James Winters. 55 years old, and the father
of four children, refused to join the strike of
carpet weavers in Higgins factory. Last night
Patrick Reilly and Daniel MeNichol knocked
him down in the street, beat him and stabbed
him. He is in hospital and his assailants are
locked up.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
p. O. Littlciolin.

ALLEGAN, MICH, January A.-P. o. Little
john died here yesterday, aged 70. He was the
contractor who built the Baltimore and Ohio road
over the mount tains. and was a brother of Bishop
Littlejohn, of the. BROOKLYN diocese.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
There Are Some Happy Americans.

From the New 1ork Trfbune.I
There are some American citizens in Alaska
who haven't yet heard who was elected. This
is very unfortunate, but they can comfort
themselves with the reflection that they don't
have to read anything about the Cabinet
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
NO DRINKS OR DANCING.
Boston Preachers Protest Against Either
During the Inauguration Ceremonies.

BOSTON, January 14-The Boston Eyangeli-
cal Alliance of Ministers, comprising all Evan
gelical denominations, adopted resolution to-
day. expressing its conviction, that out of re-
spect for President Harrison, the purchase and
use of intoxicating liquors be dispensed with
at the inauguration ceremony, and ceremony
substituted for the usual ball.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
She Saw a Great Growth.

Lady Superior Maria Serafina, ,ot the Convent
of the Sisters of st. Dominic, Brooklyn, died of
heart disease this morning. She was 60 years
old. She became Lacy Superior of the con-
vent in 1854, when it had but 20 sisters. 1t now
has 30O
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

The West Virginia fight reverses the
proverbial figure of speech, and is typifed
by linked bitterness long drawn out.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

The young Emperor of Germany de-
clares that Germany can confidently rely on
the blessings of peace; but the first OF those
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
A Struggle Over a Swamp.

Austin Corbin is having legal tussel with
William and Hewlett Weeks, of Babylon, L.
I. The small bit of Babylon that Mr.. Corbln
does not own belongs to the Weeks brothers.
Mr.. Corbin's estate is a big park, carefully
drained and stocked with $4,000 worth OF deer.
Mr.. Corbin has also trout preserve and any
number of like luxuries. But he can't enjoy
them he thinks, till the Weeks brothers drain
their swamp. The malaria induced by the
stagnant water on the Weeks farm has fire.
quently given him the ague. The Weeks
brothers say they will do what they wish with
their own swamp. Mr.. Corbinss lawyer has
been telling judge all day why they should be
compelled to drain it.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
What Ii Cost.
From the New York world,

After all our little campaign to Hayti has
cost dozen lives. The celebrated battle of
New Orleans under jackson only cost US seven.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
Hayti's Triumyirate.

From the New York Tribune.l
Yellow, Jack has formed a working alliance
with both Legitime and Hyppolite against the
United States.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
THE GOSSIP OF GOTHAM.
Why the Sabbath is Observed.

NEW YORK, January L-Colonel Elliott f.
Shepard tells to-day in hisRewspaper, the Mail
and Express. why his Board of Directors of the
Fifth Avenue stage Company decided to dis
continue running stages on Sunday. Here is
his explanations: .'The financial folly OF break
ing the fourth commandment, as IL there were
no God, or He had repealed that or any other
of His commandments, has been fully demon
strated by nearlya years experience, In the
loss of horses, dishonesty and carelessness Oh
drivers, and general dilapidation OF properly,
estimated by some to be equal to more tnan III
per cent of the capital, in one year"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15
Sad Accident in Bowling Alley.

Joseph Lomica took his little daughter to a
meeting of his bowling club last night. He put
her down at the side Of the alley, just as John
Schmidt began to bowl. Schmidt stumbled as
he threw his first ball, and sent the ball
through the air instead of along the alley. 1t
struck little Katie Lomica on the head. She is
still unconscious and cannot recover.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

blessings, in the reduction of theovergrown
and costly German army, does not appear
to be materializing in connection with the
speech
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-01-15

Mr.. H L. LEVY, of New York City, won the
first prize for the best composition at the Julian
Academic during the month of December.
DEW. SCANLAN.
The Arkansaw traveler. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1882-1???, 1889-01-05
Are We to Have Another War;

Some political prophets aver that
we shall. Be that as it may, the battle
waged by medical science against dis
ease will never cease until we arrive at
that Utopian epoch when the hu-
man family shall cease to be afflicted
with bodily ailments. One of the
most potent weapons which the arm
DRY of medicine furnishes is Hostel
ter's Stomach Bitters, which is of
special utility as a family remedy, as
it is adapted to the immediate relief
and ultimate cure of those disorders of
the stomach, liver and bowels which
are of commonest occurrence. Indi-
gestion, biliousness and constipation
are inseparable companions, and these
ailments are completely eradicated by
the Bitters. But the remedial scope
of this superlatively wholesome and
genial medicine takes in also nervous
ailments, rheumatism and kidney
troubles its action in these, as in the
other complaints, being characterized
by unequaled thoroughness.
The Arkansaw traveler. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1882-1???, 1889-01-05
The Negro's Love of Display

There are cynics wio think ii strange
men are willing to dress up in fantastic
uniform and regalia and march about
in sun and rain TO make holiday for
their countrymen, but the cynics are
ungrateful, and fail to credit human
nature with its trait of self sacrifice.
and they do not at all comprehend
our civilization. 1t was doubted at
one time whether the freedman and
the colored man generally in the
republic was capable of the higher
civilization. This doubt has all been
removed. No race takes more kindly
10 martial and civic display than it.
No one has a greater passion for
societies and uniforms and regalias
and banners, and the pomp of march
ing and professions, and peaceful war.
The negro naturally inclines TO the
picturesque. to the namboy ant, TO
vivid colors and the trappings of Office
that gives a man distinction. He
delights in the drum and the trumpet.
and so willing is he to add to what is
spectacular and pleasing in lite that he
would spend half his time in parading.
His capacity for holiday is practically
unlimited. He has not yet the means
to indulge his taste, and perhaps his
taste is not yet equal to his means, but
there is no question of his adaptability
to the sort of display which is so
pleasing to the greater part of the
human race, and which contributes so
much to the brightness and cheer
fulness of this world. We cannot all
have decorations and cannot all wear
uniforms, or even regalis, and some of
us have little time for going about in
military or civic professions, but we
all like to have our streets put on q
holiday appearance; and we cannot
express in words our gratitude to
those who SO cheerfully spend their
time and money in glittering apparel
and in parades for our entertainment.
The Arkansaw traveler. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1882-1???, 1889-01-05
Rrtnen for TIE Arkonsdw Traveller.
THE AUTHOR.
III wILLIAM HOSEA nALLou.

This 10 the stOry-ths latest Of genius
He Of the broad. mind. grand as the river.
see how the sweep of the stream passes noun.
tains
And by the forests, waving forever.
Look at the valleys all blooming and golden
Rising and falling with pillows of green,
Look At the can ons. all gorgeously blending
Blending with mars hlands- sunset of sheen
OF puppies and yellows, blue flags and lilies,
Home Of the marsh hen. wild duck and
plOver.
Such Is the river. this mind of the author
Child of the world springs OF know ledge,
and clover
That overwhelms all the meadows with bios
SONS.
Lend { thine ear, q maid Of the mountain,
Maid OF the white soul, drink of the wisdom,
Drink of the wisdom hid In the fountain.
The Arkansaw traveler. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1882-1???, 1889-01-05

"Dis, children" sid colored teach
er, distributing q paper among the
members of her class in Sunday school,
"is de Parish Visitor Hit ill tell you
bout Paris: the capital OBJ France
HaTper's Bazaar.