The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-28
BRIGdr b..

IN POLITE CIRCLES out in Arizona they never
speak OF gentleman as having run away to
escape hanging. Tney simply say that ''Mr
So7andso has gone away 10 search of a change
OF climate for the benefit of his throat ~-B0s-
ton Transcript.
ShnrH-Say. Jones' your wife is a graduate of
Vassar, isn't she
JoneS-Yes.
Smith-How many tongues is she mistress Of?
Jones-Only one. but that's a rustler-Bur-
tsIagton Free Press.
WIBBLE-What do you thing of this idea of
adopting the sunhower as the national flower.
Wabble-Pretty good idea, thick 1t is typi-
cal OF quite numerous class of Americans 1t
makes big spread all summer and is seedy in
the falL-Ierre Hcute Express.
WHERE THE Work COMES IN.-Minister,s
WIfe- \ GU haven't been out of your study an
hour this week. What is the matter?
Minlster-Some of the congregation say my
sermons are zoo long, and I've been trying to
write short one-NeU York Weekly
SOME OTHER DAY.-First Rcbber-rve found
the dress the lady of the house does her shop
ping in. suppose her purse is in the pocket
Second Roboer-Then we'll have to ia re the
dress with us. We can huut for the pocket
when we have whole day to spare.-Neao YorL;
Sun.
EDIToR-I want you to take charge of the
Queries column
New Man tmodestly)-I fear cannot answer
the questions our reaie would ask
are
from college graduates, and they are easy
Aeso York Wee6ly
ELIA-Well, Bess, graduation is over. What
do you find to do now
Bess-I am taking post graduate course in
botany. CAa hour later she was taking her first
lesson in tbs kitchen, wrestling with peas, cab
bages, and asparagus for the midday meal y
Kearaey Enterprise.
''YoU look tired OUT said his friend, anx-
iously.
Yes answered the young physician. "you
know, I've been writing medical certificates for
guests at q Rhode Island hotel-a thousand
guests and sometimes three and four thousand
sick wine permits day-couldn'J use a STAMP.
either. It's beastly hard work "-Nelo York
Herald.
AN EXCLUSIVE PERsoN.-On one occasion
lady called aud presented check which she
wished cashed As she was o. perfect stranger
TO the paying teller, he said, very politely:
Madam. you will have to bring some one to in
troduce you before we can cash this checx"
Drawing herself up quite haughtily, she said,
freezingy: s.But do not wish to know YOU.
sir. "-Richntofd Dispatch.
THE MODERN IDEA.-Mrs. Younghusband-Oh.
Charlie, the cook got angry this morning and
left, bag and baggage. What are we going
to do?
Mr.. Younghusband-Why my love, thought
you attended cooking schools for seven months?
Mrs. Younghusband-S did dear, but that
was merely to learn cooking as an accomplish.
ment.-B Burlington Free Press.
Coon OUT OF EvIL-Johnny Dumpsey-Oh.
mail wish you would make me pair of home.
made trousers every day.
Mrs. Dumpsey (much gratifed)- Why, dari-
ing?
Johnny Dumpsey-Because the scholars all
laughed at me so to-day that the teacher had to
excuse me, and I've had bully time fishing
with Bill Peck burlington Free Press.
WHAT KEPT HIM-Irate Mamma-Goodness
mel It's half an hour since sent you around
to the store to get those things, and here YOU
are back without them
Little Dick-It was such a long time before
my turn came to be waited on that forgot
what it was you wanted.
Then why didn't you come home and find
out!n
Il was afraid if left I'd lose my turn. ~
Nei0 York Weekly.