Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1889-01-19
HIS VERY LAST CIGAR.
elckLeeVs DIZZY EVENING At A
FIVE DOLLAR BANQUET.

Ne Asd n Y snd was Doing to Get shs
/ worth q HIS AGsaey--Everything Went
nsautifaliy Until That Horrid Cigar Coz
IN Iss Wicked work.
"It was my last cigar said Mr..
Eickleby, and, carried away BY the flood
OF sad memories, he leaned his head upon
his hand and wcpt. "You SEE" said he,
s'the fellows In our sct determined TO
have banquet, and we've been saving
up since the last Fourth Of July. Il was
to be five dollar affair, and for week
beforehand lived on husks and abiured
pie. was determined to eat, drink and
capacity.
1The night came. II took mo two
hours to dress, but Il was worth while,
and when ] looked on myself at O'Clock
! beheld q glass Of fashion and q mold of
form. There must have been fifty or
sixty Of the fellows at tho banquet. Be-
aides our Get there were largo number
Of invited guests. IL was about 10 O'Clock
ciatcd from continued and rigorous fast
ing that ! could hardly hold myself
straight
THAT FLYER sPuRRED HIM ON.
81 rarely touch wine, but when pay
- for q single meal, when at my board
ing house can get twenty -one for the
same money, stop at nothing. So I
permitted the mental to rcplenish my
sherry glass os often "a I emptied Il,
whilo oysters, bouillon, salmon, sweet
breads and lamb chops vanished behind
my waistcoat. Nor did I permit tho
claret to flow past me. but slipped Il
while discussed tender bit OF beef
with asparagus. I have heard much Of
the seductive and insidious influences Of
punch, but must say that the punch
we fellows had at the banquet seemed to
mo moro like lemon leo cream soda
water theu the fiery untamed spirit Of
the alcoholic flask.
may ~ well confess that am not nm In
veterate smoker. In fact, two or three
cigarettes year generally IL sufficient to
allay any cravings have for the noxious
weed. But on an occasion like five
dollar banquet am possessed to indulge
In the most reckless dissipation, and after
the punch made away with two cigar
cites. Partridge and q sip or two Of
claret followed. ! dealt literally, as Is
my wont, with the ice cream and the
cakes, the coffee and tho fruits, and when
the toasting bega4l, and the champagne
was poured out, began to feel glorious.
"The speeches were capital. Some OF
tho most learned and witty men ] ever
heard answered to tho several toasts.
Every man around mo was smoking. I
summoned waiter and bade him bring
me cigar. II was just glorious. Through
tho blue wreaths Of smoke I could Just
SEQ the orator fiinging out his arms over
tho china and silver: I slipped the spark
ling wine. Everything was happy.
sat and laughed and Lot my head roll
where It would.
"The cigar finished sat back finger
Ing my vino glass as listened to the
speakers about me. Suddenly I felt
something like o dark, damp green mold
creeping over me. broke out In pro-
fuse perspiration. A vague feeling that
l was full Of protoplasms possessed me.
A strange power seemed trying to raise
my lungs into my throat. The speech lost
its brilliancy. shaded my eyes with my
hand and gnzed earnestly at tho table,
cloth. The plates began to move about
strangely. Through the cloud Of smoke
about my head came the sound Of clap
ping hands. Who had been speaking I
neither knew nor cared. There was
wild, turbulent feeling Of rebellion In tho
region OF my diaphragm.
''HE's UNDER THE TABLE"
'Somebody rose and began to speak.
dared not raise my eyes to SEQ him.
The plates swan round and round. How
the damp perspiration gathered on my
forehead I could endure the suspeneo
no longer. ! felt that something was
about to happen. Without mOment's
hesitation ! slipped under tho groaning
board and began myself to groan In
unison with 1t. 1t may DO said that the
cause OF our groaning was identical--a
heavy load, II tobacco smoke can DO
called . load. languidly raised my
eyelids and looked around. saw q
forest OF legs belonging to tho leading
preachers, doctors and lawyers in town,
o vast forest Of legs. heard more hand
clapping. The legs began to dance, tho
table rocked, chasm oIened some-
where. Somebody cried, Hes under
the tablet Then there was laughter.
"All at once went to pieces. re-
member nothing save o confused up
pearancc Of black faces, and wondered
u l was with Stanley: They hauled me
Emin Bey or Gerard Fickleby. II was
me. II was the latter 1 knew that I
49, ssSs AS~AAAA6 "SA4s uoACA tAc COlOIcu
person who was supporting me, and
whom believed to be tho king of Sene-
gambia, II we wero anywhere near the
Congo river. He said something about
Genesee, and believe argued the point
with him, though / am not sure. know
] looked ut the floor just second, and
when raised my eyes the stars were
shining over my head and tho ther-
mometer was below zero.
ut seemed to me that tho common re-
ports OF African torridness were all
wrong. looked about for a chair, but
could find none, and was forced to sit
down on the sidewalk. A policeman, I
believe it was, came along and tried TO
carry on o social conversation with me.
He was an ignorant man, however, and
failed to follow my train OF thought, and
] told him what thought Of him. re-
member nothing more until found my
self In bed with q large wet cloth ON my
head. No, l am firmly resolved never to
smoke another cigar. buffalo Courier.
An Exclusive Club.