Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-03


unlovely child and youth. When means
came to his hands, however, to spend for
his naturally good tastes, the change was
notable in his looks and disposition. The
soured face reflected something of the beauty
with which he surrounded himself, the arch
of the brow lifted, the eye beamed and ex-
panded, graciousness taking the place of
dissatisfaction.
DON'T HAMPER CHILDREN.
You cannot put human nature under con-
tinual strain and denial to have any health
or beauty from it-least of all in child.
Hamper children, cross their personal
likings only when imperative. If possible,
make their likings your own, so far that you
cross your own pleasure in crossing theirs,
and let them see that you do. If the girl
sets her heart on blue and gold Longfel-
low edition in place ofthe white vellum you
prefer, grant her choice graciouslv, and let
the boy wear high-colored neckties in his
teens, when crude color delights his un-
tanned eye They will get over these IN
accuracies of taste soon, but they will not
get over their confidence in the love that
was indulgent of their whIms.
To this day 1 keep enough of childish
feeling that 1 can bear knock-down OF
Fate verv much better than the disregard
of whim by friend. About the reasona-
BILE age of 10 years, wanted to have a rustic
basket of plants on the grass plot, modest
wish which home authority forbade for no
earthly reason 1 can yet see, than that it
was easier to say no to request than yes.
The birthday party, which cost work and
money, gave me no pleasure worth remem-
bering, while the fowerbed, which would
only have cost my own effort, was denial
whose smart is hardly dead to-day.
A CHILD's TASTE.
Twenty years later friend was buying
the same child a volume of Browning for
birthday present. For associations sake
wanted the old Ticknor and Fields edition,
but with the usual perversity of friends, a
better one was given, which is anybody's
who wants it. 1t never has been any pleas
ure to me. These little things throw food
of light on children's feelings, whose life is
made up of little things, and show why
many a generous parent and sincere lover
fail of getting a real hold on the children
or the woman they would die to serve.
More perception, more self-denial is
needed to adjust oneself to the slight prefer
ence of those beloved than to die for them,
and on this principle the highest authority
tells us that obedience is better than sacri-
fee" Parents need to be convinced that
children's ikings and whims are not with
out reason in the nature OF the child.
He has dreamed over the idea, it has woven
itself into varied wants and dressed itself in
dozen inviting situations, which you can
realize or shatter with word. Be adamant,
regretful, adamant when you must deny,
but grant child's wish whenever you can
consistently, as old folks say.
IMAGINARY FEARS.
Parents miss fast link to child's heart
when by preoccupation or carelessness they
lose the chance of sheltering him from
frights and griefs. Children suffer terribly
from imaginary fears when alone in the
dark, and the cruelty which laughs at
them, or turns them over to their terrors un-
feeling, is never forgotten. Never to show
them anything frightful, in nature or art,
should be one of the canons of family.
The way their fancy reduplicates anything
horrifyiDg is akin to delirium.
When 10 years old l was taken to show
of snakes, huge black cobra, a wicked,
gliding anaconda, and several dozen smaller
ones in cages. They had a chill facination,
and for weeks afterward was never alone
in the house or going to sleep that the place
did not seem swarming with serpents, huge,
writhing, closing upon me, horror endured
in silence with sweat starting over me, till
would timidly ask my mother to bring
me drink OF water, and so break the spell.
1 never spoke of the dread which consumed
me, children seldom do, and that is why
parents should be very careful to notice the
slightest sign of timidity or alarm.
1t is useless TO force children through
things they are afraid of till reason is well
established. Half an hours stern insist
ance, spite of my tears and struggles, once
compelled NE to go under trelllsed arch,
swarming with cankerworms on the vine.
1t was considered good way to break me
of girls horror of worms, and 1 was
dragged through, shuddering, bathed in
sweat, and SO prostrated as to be sent at
once to bed. hate cankerworms and all
creeping things to this day.
D1ABoLIoAL PICTURES.
Still, with tine fatuous drift of humanity,
experience did not hinder me when older
from taking delicate child of to see Mrs.
Spencer's large painting of GOOD Tri-
umphing Over Evil, an angel fighting with
a dragon, drawn with al! the power OF that
strange genius. The child grew pale and
clung to me, asked at last in hushed
voice to be taken away, and was nearly
delirious that night with the vision of the
snake with the fend's eyes lowering
about his bed. His mother had a sad
time till the small hours with him,
and never scolded me half as deserved for
the ignorant folly. The children's maga-
zines publish diabolical pictures sometimes
which never ought to meet child's eye.
Some years ago a leading monthly had a
story of ogres and giants illustrated with
such horrible power, that indignant mothers
protested forcibly against pictures which
left their children unable to sleep with
hysterical dread.
One must think forever kindly of Cole
ridge quitting the society of Southey and
Wordsworth in the library to sit by the bed
of his nervous little Sara, telling stories till
she got over her terrors of the dark. His
wife, who seems queer sort of mother,
treated the chiId's dread of the dark as folly
not to be ecountenanced, and she had endured
her nightly terrors for months, till her
father came home and ordered night lamp
for her to sleep by. kindness she registers
adoringly in memorials, written the last
years Of her life for her own children. Such
consideration knits the heart of the child to
its parent, such tenderness will glow again
in them for us through life and when we
are dust. SHIRLEY DARE