St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-19
THE AMATEUR FARM.
Brief Dissertation on Its Many Try
ing Victssitudeo.


"A person on IN 0mat0ur I0rm 10, 70
a certain extent isolated, and Is at the
mercy of various mar anders that in
fest civilized-or, as I am speaking OF
amateur farming. perhaps I should
say-semi-civilized society. Tramps.
book agents. tree peddlers. lightning
rod men. insur ance solicitors and all
that sort of terror have the amateur
farmer or his wife At their mercy.
You can't spring an electric arrange
ment and call in policeman or out the
fire department il you turn the handle
too far. Even il you shout for help
the neighbors are too distant TO hear
you. Thus it is that my farm Is set out
with kinds OF trees that didn't want.
and that the buildings are covered with
insurance and lightning rods and that
my book cases groan with volumes
that no one ever thinks Of reading.
The book agent is . terror. equaled
only by the fruit-tree man. I have
often sat up nights pondering over tho
question: (Which is the worse Of the
two." Sometimes l thought ono way.
sometimes another, depending on which
of them visited me last am usually
of the opinion that the book agent is
the worse, for the B. A. is generally .
woman.
The other week one OF them came
around but nobody was It homo and
she contented herself with thrusting
under the door q circular describing
the advantages of . serial work enti-
tied, THE Pictorial History of Spain. |"
But what interested me most was .
torn bit of paper which the agent had
dropped unawares and which was -
follows:
PRIVATE AND CoNFrDRSIIAL.
(N. B-This must on no account b shown
even TO your best friend.)
II IL unfortunately now The oaoe tAas many
persons object TO . ~ from . book agent
Such being tho case It oehooves the succeoofu
agent to take more than ordinary care ~ ap-
proacbing . customer. lt having been reported
TO us that people have deliberately slammed
the door in the faces Of our agents before .
word could be said, NC have given the subject
much thought and have compiled . Get OF rules
which. II strictly followed, 10 sure 70 result In
success
Ffrst-Dress like o lady or gentlemsA
Second-Have no book or parcel visible.
Third-To gain the c0nHdsnes OF the poeooa
approached and obtain admistaase . the
house proceed - -
There it left OF just 1t the most ex-
asperasing point Not even 10 be
continued" at the end of it The paper
was torn across and 1 was torn with
anxiety to know just how the agent
got in and how she won my confidence
The week after that wasn't a4 home
much. House-cleaning time il popu-
larly supposed to be the most trying
period of life for the unfortunate man
Of the family. l, OF course. try to
avoid the dwelling then a. much ~
possible; but, in my opinion. house
cleaning isn't a circumstance to the
tomato-canning struggle. Then the
place takes on a fearful and sanguinary
appearance. There is to me something
appalling In the sight Of the woman Of
the house with sleeves rolled up to the
elbow and the formerly fair arms drip
ping with the crimson gore Of the
slaughtered tomato. The house reeks
with the odor of boiling tomatoes.
Rows Of grim bluebeard jars stand on
the shelves OF this vegetarian butch
ery, and others empty yawn for blood.
"In such q place as this and at such
m hour" it is just as well for the in
significant man person to keep away
from home. In the heat Of the carnage
the lady Of the house doesn't want to
ace the best friend she has on earth
much less her husband.
lust a. the tomato saturnalia was At
fits height, there came . ring At the
door-bell. The girl went to the door
and came back with neat card In her
hand on which were beautifully en-
praved the words Edith Blotter-
wick"
..Dear me-" said the lady Of the
house, wiping her tomato stained
hands ON the kitchen towel and taking
the card. Il don't want TO SO any
hody. l don't remember that name.
What did she look ikei Had she .
parcela
no. NAM"