Morning journal and courier., 1889-03-15
DETERRENT.

What difference it makes whether you put "Dr." before or after name.-San Francisco Wasp.
 The drunkard pays very high price for becoming very low in the world.-New Or leans Picayune.
 Do not pity man too much just because he is blind. Remember he has lived all his life and has never seen a dude.-Somerville Journal.
 MT. Findout-Sad about Mrs. s., died this morning while trying on a new dress.
 Mrs. Findout-No, you don't say so; what was it trimmed with.-Munsey'a Weekly.
 Giles-How do you account for the fact that some people will do anything for money?
 Merritt suppose it is because they can- not do anything without it-New York Sun.
 Housekeeper-I regret to say, sir, that your son and the cook have eloped.
 Rich old party-Thunderationi Then we shan't have any dinner.-Burlington Free Press.
 Poet-"Thanks." Footpad-"What yer thanking me fur?' Poet-"For the compi- ment of thinking looked like man who had any."-New York World.
 Minister (dining with the family)-"Bob- by, suppose when you grow up to be a man you will want to be an earnest Christian, won't yous' 'fYes, sir, if it doesn't interfere with being 8 drum-major. ."-Life.
 Female sheriff-"!s your husband at What do you want of hims" ''I have an at- taehment for him.n "You have! Why, you shameless thinga"-Texss Siftings. When Rooms Stop.-Easterner-"I under stand the great land boom at Dugout City has collapsed" Westerner-"Yes; no use keepin' it goin' any longer. All the land now is owned by outsiders. ."-New York Weekly.
 Fred-"Goed morning, brother Jacka' Jack gloomily)-"Howd5s Explain joke" " Fred-"You called on Agie last night" ]" Jack Gin 8 take care' tone of voice)-"Well?" Fred-"Oh, nothing. She promised to be a sister to me, too. Judge.
 A Way Out.-Anglomaniac- the way it goes. If we hunt foxes, folks say we're cruel; if we hunt anise seed bags, folks laugh at us. What can we hunt without ex- citing indignation or ridiculea" Small boy t'Rsts. s."-New York Weekly. Editor of the London Times (to the man. ager)-'What shall we do now to make peo- pie forget those horrid lettersa" Manager Suppose we attack the coast defences? l think we can prove that the guns were forged by fellow named Armstrong. Pluck. The candidacy of Murat Halstead for the Italian mission cannot be acted upon in Chi | cago until our request for information has | D60u COu WILL II oOls hnISeOnN sponhs I-talyun we are for him, but if he speaks It-alyan we're agin him.-Chicago News. l Arizona boasts of woman who ''can driv ( a nail with bullet at forty yards" When Arizona can produce 8 woman able to drive a nail with hammer at 8 distance of one foot without wounding her fingers it will
 have curiosity worth boasting of.-Norris l town Herald.
 | "Yes, poor Uncle 'Rastus died very sud l dint like; he was baptized in de river at foat 1 o'clock, tux bad cold, had pneumony at midnight and was dead arly in de mawnin'.' , | "Gwacious, Aun' Dinah, dat was drefful
 But it must be great piece ob consolashur
 to you dat he seeked de shelter of de Lamt afore he died. ."-Smith's Illustrated Monthly
 The Boy and the Jug.-A Boy who wal
 carrying Jug across a Field stumbled anG
 fell, and the Jug cried out against the care
 lessness which thus Threatened to put ar
 End to it's usefulness. "But you received ns
 injury" replied the Boy. "Yes, but nigh
 have been Broken to Pieces," persisted tht
 Jug. ooh, well," observed the Boy as h.
 continued his way, "the tumble proves hoy
 good is the material of which you are made
 and value you twice as much as before.
 Moral-Men value that which stands the tes
 of the unexpected.-Detroit Free Press.