Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1889-05-26
THE OLD MAN O3SERYANr.

THE OLD MAN O3SERVANT.
Mrs. Frank Leslie is about to start a
paper in London. Since James Gordon Ben
nett's success in the London journalistic
field was established it has grown to be
considered quite the thing for Americans
to &C over and show our English cousins
how a newspaper should be conducted.
The SUNDAY UNION has not yet definitely
determined upon a London edition, but
there is no telling what may happen later
on.
Many Sacramento th~eater-goers have a
thoroughly re~prehensible habit of coming
in late" which delracts materially from
the enjoyment of those who are already
seated and attempting to get what they
have paid their money fora sight and
hearing of what is going on behind the
footllghts. This evil was very noticeable
during the late Sothern engagement. Long
after the rise of the curtain the perform
ance was sadly interrupted by the late
corners, who made such confusion in going
to their seats as 10 entirely rob the early
portion of the performance of all its pleas
ure.
This evil should be -emedied. 1t is
~ hAO AhtCiNoto Vi lnc lutdttI ~ DIlLE
about a reform in the matter, because the
patrons of our amusement houses will not
stand this sort of thing much longer. They
have told me so, quite in confidence.
There Is no remedy" you say? Oh, yes,
there Is. Let the curtain rise at s O'Clock
and then let the doors be locked until the
first act is finished. Then those who are
late may ruminate in the lobby or upon the
sidewalk until the doors are again opened
and they can enter the theater and be
pointed at as sad examples. About one
good-sized dose of this medicine will cure
the most chronic case of habitual hardness
and the plan mentioned would undoubt-
eddy rebound to the comfort and pleasure
of many people. Why not give it a trial?
~
Overheard on + street:
First Sacramentan "Shall we walk or
take a street car ?"
Second Sacramentan: "Oh, let's walk /;
I'm in a hurry
The moral is obvious.
~
1t is thought that Henry NJ. Stanley, the
great African explorer, will soon return to
England. Doubtless most people will re-
]olce to see him safe at home again, but it
will be a decided shock to the enterprising
newspaper correspondent, who, whenever
there was a dearth OF exciting news, was
always wont TO fall back upon the convent
ent expedient of killing Stanley somewhere
in Africa.
care yez Mr.. Blank, sor?" INQUIRED a
large, healthy-looking daughter of the
Emerald Isle, as she entered the office of
one OF our prominent professional men the
other day.
II am" replied the gentleman addressed.
What can / do for your
I'm towld, sor, that ye're wantin' a
gyurl at yer house, an l KEN to see could
| get the place.
Have you had experience ?" inquired
Blank, who had for some days been trying
in vain to find a domestic.
"'Dade have, sor; plenty of iti'
What kind of work can you do? ?"
Near onything that's to be done in the
house, sor wash an iron, bake, shcrub,
cuke, mind clothes, wait on the table, make
bids, dusht and clane, and 'mosht livery
thing ye'd be wantin' done, sor. Shure,
I've a good characther here [proffering the
gentleman a folded paperl from a lady I
worked for siven years till she died-God
rist her sowl!n
Mr.. Blank glanced at the "characther,'
which was more than satisfactory. He had
already made up his mind to send the APP
plicant to his wife, however, and was in
wardly thanking his lucky stars for the
good fortune which turned the woman's
feet in his direction, when she inquired:
Have yez oDy childher, sor?"
Mr.. Blanks face flushed as he seemed to
realize, all of a sudden. his impending
peril. He had children-there was no get
ting around it-and that fact had many a
TINA hafiiod bic nffArfo 20 DAt - ,n...-l
girl" With a feeling hat his poor, inno-
cent progeny were once more about to
cause a Illustration of his plans, he replied,
in a logged tone:
Yes, | hare got children-tour children
and l wouldn't care if l had a dozen
children"
We'll, it's glad l am we've got childher.
sorl Faith, l wouldn't be workin' in a
house widout thin. I'd a choild av me
own once. He's two years wild the Saints
above, an his father there afore him.
Shure, l hear his swate voice a-ringin' in
me ear the whole b!issed day, and iyerv
choild ! see minds me of my little Jamie
in Heaven, an makes me love all childher
loike me own. Oh no, sor; l won't work
faith, l cant work in a house widout
childherl J"
At the concluding sentence of this i'm
FASHIONED speech Mr.. Blank sank back in
his comfortable chair and, for a moment
looked and acted like a man who had lost
all control of his mental faculties. Here
was a poser. A woman evidently reliable
and congratulated, apparently very
desirable in all essentials-seeking employ
ment as a domestic, and not only not OBJ
jecting TO children in the family but
refusing her services otherwise
As soon as he had sufficiently recovered
his senses to speak i~ntelligently, he called
a clerk and said to him John. get a
carriage and drive this lady to my house as
fast as you can !"
l am glad that the arrangements for our
Fourth OF July celebration contemplate a
generous provision for the enjoyment of
the children. 1t is right that it should be
made a great day for them. Indeed, their
interests upon the natal day of our nation
should be considered of primary impor-
tance. They are the citizens in embryo of
the erandest nation under the sun, and
every right-minded man will wish to see
Young America extract all the pleasure
possible from the Fourth of July, and alb
serb principles OF patriotism which shall
properly fit him for the part he must play
later or in the political economy of our
Government. Give the children all they
want of " the glorious Fourth" 1t is their
day. And if we old fellows can't have all
the fun we want in the enjoyment of the
children, then there is something wrong in
our moral composition, and we don't de-
serve to have any fun, anyway.
OLD MAN.
Do not expect your horse to be equally