The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-29
BRIGHT BITS.

THE REAsoS.-Bess e-I met Miss shapely out
shopping to-day, and | never before realized
what a loud voice she has
Jennie-But you must remember my dear
that she was asking for pair of No. shoes
HaTper's Bazaar.
LOST HIS BALANcE.-Mrs. Jaggs q a. M
Where nave you been, John?
Mr. JagEs-Bal's ing IN books.
Mrs. Jaggs-Wel, If you We found any balance
tonight, 10 n, You certainly haven't brought it
nome with you-Puck
PHYsfcIAN-So you are afraid your boy is not
likely TO live long. Mr.. Figg? l see nothing in
LIS appearance TO justify such belief.
Mr. Flgg-Oh, he looks all right, and his ap-
petite is simply immense, but this morning |
saw MIN unite a tin can from dogs tail, and 1t
alarmed me somewhat.-Ierre Hdute cypress
Mr.. AssEr-Excuse my me tioninz the mat
ter sir. but as You are paving quite close attea-
ton TO my daughter | feel it nothing more
than right should ask you intentions.
mr.. Nickel displaying a large calber Colts
navy)-To bl w the head off that snarliug b Ill
dog of yours II he is not chained when call at
tie house tonight. Epoch.
YoUNG WIFE.-What? Do you mean to say
your brother and bis wife have given up house.
keeping and Comet board?
Husband-Yes; but what difference does that
ma e?
Young wife-O, nothing; only in about a
week Or so they'll be dropping in every other
day to meals. Aeot York Weekly.
YOUR ONN TRUE L0NE.-A marriage license
was returned tothe county clerk : Office to-day
that was beauty. The happy bride had pasted
paper flowers all OVERT, and amid the flowers
were such loving words as Thine always,
Ever thy love, y For ret me not, " Your own
true love- etc. etc Deputy Daniels has been
| sea'ick ever since it came in.-Ind annapolis
Ners. "'
FIGURES LIE SOMETIMES Bobby-Pape, how
many feet are there in one yard:
Fapa-A line r yard contains three, square
ArNfg1 arl fr~gaT
B0bby--Cau't there be more than twenty
seven feet in any yards.
Papa-No.
Bobby-That's where you're off. Our barn
yard las got ten, COWS in it, and each cow has
got four feet, which makes forty feet.-Biag-
hdmton Republican.
TIE CITY TOO Much FOR HrM.-"Say," he
said to a clerk at the post Office. I've mailed a
letter that would lik to get back, please:"
w zen did Won mai t?'f
Yesterday morning"
well, it lett TINS Office over twenty four
hours ago"
He wsllNed away in kind of daze1 condition,
ana shortly ,afterYard was overheard asking u
policeman wAaB tWlle ne could get a train bac X
to Philadelphia, -Ptct.
BOYS Will BE BoYs.-Country magistrate
(geuially 10 COMPLAINANT boys will be
boys! lwouidn't prosecute EN-. if l was you.
That cut over yr eye will on heal, and We
know they wouldn't "a toned ye if We hadn t
got mad when they sassed We. Jest remember
ye was boy once y'rsef, and
Magistrates wife Crushing in)-Silas Silas
Them boys is in our orchard ag'nl
Magistrate tdarting up COnsarn 'em!
Where's my shotgun?-PJGcE.
Owe ON THE INsPEcToR-A school INSPECTOR
hailing from Glasgow, has the credit of telling
the following story against himself: Itolgut
to ba promised that he is not till and has not
been blessed with much personal beauty, but he
thinks himself-and deservedly so-an excel
lent public speaker. Examing a junior class
one day lat ly he wished to lead up to ''breai n
rs the reply to a question He had no reply at
out of my mouth?N wee little fellow promptly
answered Gas, SIR Afterward in explaining
what an adjective was he said Il am a man.
but plac adjective before man am a
-|' Little manw exclaimed one hopeful.
The insp ctor does not like to be called little
He said, "Wel.-sh-give me another" Ugly
little manln shouted a too literal boy-Dlsndee
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