Morning journal and courier., 1889-12-02
FEN UGH.

As rule housekeepers are outspoken. But at this time they will mince matters just enough for pies.-Dsnville Breeze.
 market report quotes frogs' legs as steadily going up. It is not surprising that they should be on the jump.-Yonksrs Statesman.
 Custoner-"Is it customary to fec the waiter herea" Waiter-"Yes. sir." Custo- mer-"Then hand over your fee. I've wait ed for you nearly an hour."!The Lounger.
 ''We want good name fer our town" "Yes. Something like 'Yonkers. on-Hud- son. or 'Mauchester-by- -the-Sea,' ehs"1 "Yes. How would 'Boomtown-on-Paper' doP'- Munsey's Weekly.
 And now we are informed that the cheese factories in western New York are to form trust. This doesn't seem to be just the cheese, and we hope it has not curd.-Bos- ton Transcript.
 How provoking it is when you want to give vent to your temper by slamming mans office door behind you, to have one of those 'air" arrangements close it for you never 50 gently.-Berkshire News.
 One of our contemporaries, in noting the successful career of a-venerable man who has just died in Maine, makes the startling state. ment that Che was born without dollar in his pocket. Howell Courier.
 Caller (on wrong foor)-"This is the sub- scription office of the Tomahawk, is it motif wish to procure few back numbers" Ex- change editor (pointing to funny man)- "Look in his column to morrow morning."- Chicago Tribune.
 Typographical puzzle.-"Mamma, where were you borns" "In Baltimore, dear." " "And where was papa borna" "In Philadel- phis." "And was born in New Yorkf' "Yes." "Well. how did we get scattered around!"-Boston Bacon.
 Progressive and Profitable. Publishers agent Con his semi annual hunt after plunder) -"Can't get your order for some of the new geographies we are getting out, equire:" School trustee-"Wa.al, I dunno; we haven't been usin' those last ones but few months" |" Publishers agent-"But these contain the correct name of the new government of Bra- gil! Do you want to be behind the timesg'- Puck.
 Wife-I believe that more women than men go to heaven.
 Hasband-You dot What makes you think so:
 "Womsn live better lives than men,"
 "I grant if, Mary, but there's one thing that leads me to think there are very few women on the other side"
 sWhat is thats'
 .It is spoken of as the silent shore."- Boston Courier.
 It Didn't Work.-A German student of medicine named Wimmerl was about to try to pass his examination. He felt somewhat uneasy, as he knew very well that having neglected his studies he was quite deficient. He, however, relied on his ability to look out for himself in emergencies. The examining l professor conducted Wimmerl to patient and told him to look at his eyes and make a | diagnosis of the case, while he, the professor, | examined some other patients. Wimmerl examined the patient, but could find no clue; but happy thought occurred by which he could cover up his ignorance. "Mr. Vim | merl," asked the professor on his return, ''have you discovered the nature of the mans disease?' Professor" replied Winmerl," :" "my honor ferbids me to answer your ques- tion. don't want to take an unfair advan- tags. The patient himself has disclosed to | me the nature of his disease. Give me an- other case" "What!" roared the professor, who had known the patient for some weeks, 'syou say this man has been talking to you! It is great pity, MT. Wimmerl, but he is 1 deaf and dumb."-Texas Siftings.