Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1889-12-31
" BILL SNORT, ExC1r
The Texas Journalist ON the President's q
Mcssage and the sunday Law.

Message and the sunday Law.
Alexander u. sweet In Texas Siftinss.
New YoRK, Dec. 2O--My Dear Johnny !.
| In your last letter you say that the rumor
prevails In Cr0sby county that Bill Snort
helped President Harrison get up the mes
This, Johnny, Is tho most unklnd cut OF
| all. Verify, An enemy bath done this.
| When / was accused OF stealing Rose Hill
ballot box, thus defeating the Senegambian
candidate by 900 votes, suffered In silence
and forged an alibi, but this 10 more than
| can stomach.
Iadmit, Johnny, tho president wanted
me 10 write that message to Congress, but
mono Of my suggestions were adopted. lie
said
"Colonel Snort, what shall say about
our foreign relations" ?" -
"Mr. President" says ], "don't men,
! tion them. II you say anything about for
eign relations, people will think you mean
tho Harrisons and McKees ct ais, who are
holding fat foreign missions. Keep num-"
| "Colonel Snort, what shall say about
the commissioner of pcnsionsf"
keep mum, Ben, on that subject, too.
Make your message interesting. Refer
tearfully TO the drowning Of Mctiinty, In
Z" Don't you think ought to mention
the surplus In the treasury"
"There will be no surplus worth men-
| tioning, now that Dudley and Tanner have
opened claim agency in Washington.
=" What shall put In the messagef"
"Wrte something spicy about the baby
| hippopotamus that was born In Central
park. You can brag that nothing of the
Kind ever happened under q Democratic
administration. That's about all you have
| got to brag about"
Instead Of following my advice and writ.
ing live message Harrison dosod the
| country with nine columns of chlorOfOrm.
| BY the way, Johnny, called yesterday
| on Colonel Shepard, Of New York Mail and
Express, who tangles up business and re-
/ liglon In n most marvellous manner.
Personally, he Is q nice, good gentleman,
and that his paper exists al all is owing to
his having the Vanderbilt millions 10 back
| him and he also has managing editor
who understands the ebusiness--swearsl like
n trooper.
| ard about Sunday school matters In Texas,
| could hear the most frightful profanity,
annotated with dull, sickoning thuds. 1t
was the wicked managing editor consult
| ing with proof-reader.
Over Shepard's desk are portraits Of
| Wanamaker and Harrison, and under
| them something about Prophets and wise
men," called Shops attention to the in
correct spelling. Prophet when brought
| In connection with Wanamaker's name Is
| always spelled profit.
In regard to the presidents message.
,on not 10 mention in II ths, ihe % nre.bv,arw Of
| Cincinnati. nv vote of % to lS. sdecided
that All infants-bless their little souls-.
dying In infancy nre saved. ! promised
to call Harrison attention to the oversight.
| We had quite discussion about the
Sunday law.
| 81 am very much afraid, Colonel Snort,
| that In Texas, the press does not seek to
enforce the Sunday law" said Shepard.
'Iiow is 1t in New York, Colonel Shep-
| allowed on Sunday. lint that is because II
wonId interfere With the business of the
| saIoons .First cast ont tho beam that i,
in thine own eve and then Won sbalI see
CLEARLY In cast oHt the mote that ia in thv
hrother's eve',u
Shenard-"I must admit. Colonel Snort.
that RI a vrcat exten, The side doors of tbe
saIoons ara onon hnt ihanLa to INV ipfin-
ence tba Fifb ayenna stages do nat r., n
on Sundav.u
Snort--HYou arc yerv mncb mistak on
about Texas and The sunday law. II Won
sav Texas in not n christian state Won arc
not we'll posted in religious Teopraphy.
| Colonel Sbenar,l ,,
Shenard-UI am Glad To hear Won sav
.o,D
Tal;,g n cony of n laaaing Toxos nono,
from nv pocket, I procceded 10 read In,
followinr editorial on the "Sundav Law
nThou shnlt not shave on tho Sabbath
lint raf,ectinyIv rnb thv chin with nm mn
nd.down nioiiou. for Tho wages of sin I,
death
"The wise man tllleth his ing on Satur
dav niSbt md nartnke elh thereof even ,,nie
tho ooing down of tho sun hut Tho foojisl
man trnste,b 10 Inck. and uoeth as 5rv ma
powder. horn for. verify. Re shall find IN,
Saloon closed as tiuht as a burglar. nroo
safe with timo iock. for The banister q
Iira Ia fnil Of snIinters and man slidotl
down with consderabIe velocity. Come
lot ne rainico. Io, ne sino n Now so,g -
uThon shalt not wink MT thv girl 4,
chnrcb nor take her buggy riding for tn
livery horse must study his catecbism
villa his master gro,seth the ,ybeeis 70
tbe next week The heart of man is des
neratelv wicked. and deceitftil above al
tbings.
, "Thop shalt not sbine tbine own. no