Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-06-21
THE JOKER'S BUDGET,


paint.
The life of a man-Created, edu,
Gated, mated, belated, elated, berated,
cremated.
iT is mighty curious how big some
sins look until after a man has COM
mitted them himself.
METApHoRlcALLY speaking, milk is
akin to the baby, but the relationship
is somewhat strained
liz boy and half eat green apple
and half iii q minute and q half how
will they feel in an hour ard half?
"WHY do you pour Re vile liquor
down your throat? asked the phlanthro-
pist OF the topper. "l am seeking for
get-fnll-ness, said the topper TO the phi
lantrorhist.
Miss WEsTEND (confidentially)-Mr.
Saphead proposed to me last night.
Rival Belle-Did he? When l refused
him in the afternoon he said he was
going to do something desperate.
FIRST rEAcHER-I think it is a shame
that the city pays no more respect
when veteran teacher dies. Second
teacher-What would YOU have them
do? First teacher-Close the schools
and give us holiday?
SIXTEEN years after her burial the
coffin OF a Winnipeg woman was opened
and the body found petrifed She had
her mouth open, however, which goes
to show that she was game even when
II Eomo IN f11rripcr IN cfopo
We are bold to affirm that South
ern man has some rights, although he
may not have drop of African blood
in his veins! We know this is strong
language, but we are prepared to stand
by it, no matter who may gainsay.
Mr.. DE DUDE Ito his best girls little
brother)-I notice you always come
into the parlor to amrse yourself with
me while your sister is dressing
Little Brother (complainingly)-What
else is there to do? Pop won't buy me
monkey.
IT was at ain Austin hotel table that
a child attracted considerable atten-
ton by saying repeatedly, Mammal
want cake" "Yon have had five or
six already" replied the mother.
"rhem's not the ones 1 want. l want
fresh cake"
| drill One of the officers rode horse
which was unruly, and in some of his
antics nearly threw his rider. where
upon little Johnny exclaimed, excited
ly: Mamma, mamma, Mr.. Fissels'
horse don't fit him!"
Mrs. DUMPsEY appearing at the
back door)-Johnnie, run down to Mr..
Smiths and get me an Yeast cake.
Johnnie (withont looking up from his
game Of solitaire marbles)-You told
me not to stir out of the yard to-day,
and l amt going to.
W1GG1Ns looking at the result of his
wife's shopping)-Well, suppose we
may be able to make use of some of this
stuff some day, but where are the
shoes you said Bobby needed. Mrs.
Wiggins-Bless my heart, l forgot
them I spent all day at the bargain
counter, yon know.
MISS CLARA Ito Mr.. Paperwate at
dinner)-Mr. Paperwate, will you have
hot biscuit? ] made them myself.
Mr. Paperwate-Delighted, Miss Clara,
and I'm doubtful it one will suffice.
Miss Clara-Oh, thank YOU. Mr.. Paper
waite! Will you have one, Bobby !?
Bobby-No, Stree!
HOW SHE ACCEPTED HIM. :;
Int ten gown rare, all trimmed with lace,
And tinted like her shell-fair face.
With dainty pink, she poured my tea,
And smiled, with dimpng cheeks ut me,
Until felt, though tea loathe
That if my plain life she would clothe
| With her sweet tea gown self I'd drink,
| OF tea, and eat of toast, and think "a
That food and drink for gods, to these
Compared, We're naught but dust and lees
But when said wilt pour for me
My tea through all our years TO be?"
She made a face, though smiling still:
pray make it coffee, and will
| Detroit Free Press