The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-16
BRIGHT BITS

ABOUT the only difference between boodler
ana a thief is that one holds public Office Of
trust and the other is too decent and consistent
to push himself in politics Detroit rec Press.
FIRST LITTLE BoY-Papa was rendin' sumfin
about Mind Reader Bishop bein killed but |
couldn make out how it was
Second Little Boy (s0lemnlyt-He had two
doctors.-AelO York Weekly
Mas. DE GR4w-They say Mr.. 5adface never
goes where be comes in contact with women
Wonder what's the natter --- .-.
Mr.. de Graw sign.fcantlyt-He was a Nor
mon before he came east tLndelphia In
qttrer. ,
PRESENCE OF MIND.-Penelope Peachblow-
/ is evident that woman over there paints
BISHOP Guliem-She is ny-sist r.
Penelope Peachblow 1 was goi to say it is
evident ,e.paints from the interest she takes IN
that young artist.-Life
Miss ROSE MADDEN What? Employed
d'Aubor to paint your portrait? Why, ne's
still life argst; he never made decent portrait
Miss Worthy Blufferu-I know; but he paints
dresses exquisitely. Puck.
KNEW WHAT HEWANTED. there anything
can do for your asked Mrs lmso tenderly
when her husband was suffering from seasick
ness. What do you want1'
Il want the earth" gasped Cums0. as he
again leaned over the rail-Ne,C York sun.
A SUFFICIENT ExCUss.-Mrs Gilhooley-I
understand that your daughter Kate aid am
a gadabout aud other nnc supplementary things
Mrs McGinnis- You should pay no attention
TO what the simple child says. She is AWAY 5
repeating everything the neighbors tell her
Omaha World.
BARELY PossTBLE-"T have sometimes
thought" begaa Mr.. Porridge, whereat Miss
Rashly gave an exclamation OF Armament, and
then remarked, alphabetically: 1T may be.
Of course have no knowledge OF what you may
have done before ] became acquainted with
you. H-hichmO1ld Disputch
Mr.. PoPNJAY-&y dear, 1 have invited Nr.
Forinland, the distinguished explorer, to tea
tomorrow.
Mrs. Popinj ay-Whatever put it into your
head to do that?
Mr.. Popinjay-I want to see if he can find
that collar OuttonI lost last Monday .-BurIino
ton - Press.
No CREDIT TuERE,-Job Comfort-Tf you're
in such hard luck, JACK, why don't you 60 to
your Uncle Nathaniel and tell him the whole
story? Hos rich enough to help you.
Jack n Aighps (gloomilyl-lt would be no
use, Job. Hos one of those chaps who say
The Sabbath when they mean Sunday
Puck.
allow Mr.. to pay attention to you and then
refuse him. Wust does it lneAnt"
why. you see, | must have a man of real
original genius and all he said to me was: L
love nothing but you in the who world
certainly have read that expression somewhere
before. n iegende Batter
OMAHA CHIEF-And when the shooting began
you ran away from the melee!
Proud Policeman-Yes.
0. Gid gu not know you would be called
a coward a your life1
p P.-I made a hasty calculation to that
effect, but thought would rather DO a coward
all my life than a corpse for fifteen minutes
Omaha World.
HosrEss-Mlss Hightone, won't you sing for
us? H
Miss Hightone Society soprano)-Really. you
must excuse me tonight, have such cold
Hostess-Mr. Lowvoice, 1 am sure you will
sing.
Mr.. Lowvoice Society .basso)-Pardon me,
nut do not see how l can sing to night; /
haven't cold.--Neto York Weekly
AUTHOR Ito pubiisherJ-Id like to have YOU
bring out my book. From Log Cabin to Con
gress y
Pubisher-To which OF our distinguished
statesmen does it refer?
Author-To none Of them. 1t is the story of
the man who hoofedi it from his cabin to Wash
ington to get his congress nau 10 indorse
him for a $40 postoffice.- Magazine.