Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-04
THE TOPICAL TALKER.


She Had Carriage In Her MIud-That Set
Ties IA Cozy Room A Mules
Mercy.
1T is astonishing to what lengths some
people will 60 who desire to appear richer,
wiser or more beautiful than they really are.
For instance, as was leaving city railroad
station the other day, lady with whom have
a slight acquaintance passed in front of me.
AS she came to the curb she turned and bowed
with great graciousness to me. Then she in
spected carriage and pair drawn up just there
very carefully; almost touching the coachman's
coat, so closely did she regard him. 1t was
plain that she wished 1t to be seen that she was
expecting a carriage to meet her, and was
really not quite sure whether the eQuipage at
hand was hers or not. A look of vexation
crossed her face and she looked up and down
the street anxiously.
Two minutes later as boarded horse car
I saw this same lady comfortably esconced in
corner of the public vehicle. The show of
waiting for purely imaginary carriage had
been given for the benefit of this ladys fellow
travellers on the train. She never had car
rage and had no more expectation OF being
met by one at the station than honest little
Mrs Tubbs, the laundrywoman, who trudged
across the bridge that very day.
80
On Tuesday night just as the curtain wentup
on the second scene OF "Hamlet" a gentleman
in evening dress, whose fierce mustache and
goatee suggested fre-eating proclivities,
marched down the right aisle of the Opera
House parQuet to a front seat, sat down, and
then, with very fierce expression upon his
face, strobe up the aisle again into the foyer
and out of the theater.
uanf1arnap who caxp this nor.
formance said to me, "That reminds me of an
incident which took place in this very theater
about dozen years ago 1t was while Fanny
Davenport was playing an engagement here. A
young man, who was a clerk at the Union
Depot Hotel, after rather lively priming with
the boys went to the Opera House. He was
good-looking fellow with black mustache, and
the figure be cut that night was given color by
his new light overcoat and high silk hat By
the time he reached the theater it was pretty
full; so was he. But he bought ticket for
parquet seat right down front, and with toler-
ably steady steps he made his way to it. 1t was
in the middle of scene. What the play was
don't remember. As be reached his seat and
was divesting himself of his loud overcoat,
Fanny Davenport came down the stage TO the
footlights, and said to the villain who was
courting her, but with her eyes to the audience;
can never love theer
"She said it with great emphasis, and the
handsome hotel clerk rose from his seat, took
up his hat and overcoat and saying. in a loud
voice. Well, that settles itl' retraced his steps
up the aisle, while the audience burst into
roar of laughter and applause"
49,
THE insinuations which have been made
against the sobriety of Sewickley, because an
immense stack of what are apparently cases of
beer decorates the platform of the Fort Wayne
Railroad station there almost daily, are not
justified by the facts in the case, or cases. The
latter contain milk from tine Dairy Company,
and not beer. The wicked people who reside
above and below Sewickley, and who are not
unnaturally jealous of that charming place,
should examine a case thoroughly before render.
ing a verdict.
MRS. BLINKER's parlor would be as cheer.
full and pretty as street car waiting room if it
only had few cuspidors," was the way a gen.
tie creature described another gentle creatures
reception room to me the other day.
..s
THE colored race may not be favored by for
tune in some places, but surely one colored
gentleman of Allegheny ought to thank heaven
that he is alive to-day.
When saw him he had just caught run
away mule. How did he catch 1t, do you sup
posei 1t was big sort of purple-tinted mule
with immense quarters, and this foolhardy
negro had stayed its wild career by seizing
hold of the breeching and hanging on to it.
Why the mule did not exercise its glorious
privilege and kick its captor into kingdom
come only the seventh daughter of seventh
daughter can say. Any undertaken would have
been justified in beginning to make a coffin for
that colored gentleman the moment he began
his interview with the mule.