Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1889-09-07
al DOMESTIC oYNAslr.
An Astounding Record Of nesignntion4
DesertIons and Revolutions


DesertIons and Revolutions
Ann J., surnamed the Toiler by the
satirical head Of the family. Constitu-
tionally opposed to rising with the lark.
but affectionately inclined to the larks
which fit by night After a reign Of
seven days. in which most Of the dishes
wore beheaded. she was deposed and
succeed by
Bridget L popularity called the Sew
en-days Flirt, on account Of possessing
an admirer for each evening in the
week. Giddy, pretty. and exceptionally
blessed with Incompetence, an article
already sufficiently furnished by the
three young-lady graduates in the FAM
lily. She was rusticated in November
and followed by reign Of terror dur
ing which the said young ladies did the
work. Thus descended upon the king
dom OF kitchen
Ann IL, recommended in the highest
terms, and of top-lofty and ignoring
disposition. Felt it to be her mission
to rule in the only right way-her way.
When meekly requested to cook the to-
matoes, responded, ,oracularly, Cooked
tomatoes isn't healthy, and served 'em
raw. After a reign Of six weeks was
forcibly elected by the combined efforts
of the head OF the house and his moth
er-in-law. Succeeded by
Norah, surnamed Lightfoot, on ac-
count OF her abnormal pedal develop
ment Her capacity for ''kicking"
was correspondingly great, and after
three days Of solid stubbornness, she
abdicated in favor Of her cousin,
Bridget H., queen Of the ''may do
it if like ter; generally didn't-borD
weary. Could not be impressed by any
must, could, would, or should power.
But after several pitched battles be.
tween her own and the will of the
household. was deposed, vowing ven
geance, and succeeded by
A regency of four days, in which the
mistress Of the house poured oil on the
troubled waters, got the ship Of home
safely anchored in the harbor Of good
order, and then turned over her COM
mand to
Sophronia, surnamed the Cook,
whose reign was chiefly remarkable
for the mystery surrounding her sur
name, no possible evidence ever being
given by her as to its origin. Deposed
without loss of time, and followed by
Bridget Ill, popularly called the
Lunatic, whose chief aim seemed to be
to sugar the soups and salt the pud-
ding-sauces. Banished to an asylum
known as the non-intelligence Office,
aftor reigning one and a half days, and
succeeded by
Mary, sovereign OF considerable ex.
ecutive ability, but victim of alcoholic
heredity and temperamental permanent
irascibility After threatening the
lives OF the entire household, from the
English mastiff to the man of the. house
was requested to abdicate. Refused, in
trenched behind breastwork OF the
best china, using knives and FORKS tol
defensive weapons After a severe
struggle the regiment of law and order,
known as the ''blue coats, were tri-
umphant, and she was imprisoned fol
high treason. End unrccorded. Sue
ceeded by
Ellen the pirate, whose vocation
lightened the home of many superAuoul
articles, and the appearance of whose
kingdom on the third day resulted il
council of war which decided t
"give up housekeeping and take OH
meals Out" The prime minister and
her cabinet now spend their morning
repairing the ravages in the kingdom
and the head OF the house smiles ant
says 81 told you SO. Judge.