Wichita eagle., 1889-04-20
HOSTESS AND GUEST.
Their Respective Duties Ably Defined BY
Lady Writer.

HOSTESS AND GUEST.
Their Respective Duties Ably Defined by
Lady Writer.
The first duty of the hostess is 70 make
her guests acquainted with each other,
writes Jane Allen in the Christian Union.
In some circles 1t is considered etiquette
not to introduce, but, as young lady justly
observed at may be etiquette, but it is not
polite etiquette" The very origin of this
word etiquette" suggests its limitations.
1t means nothing more than "a ticket" and
was at first the wooden tag on bundle IN
dlcating its contents. To-day it represents
the mark placed by society on its approved
ussges, and may be freely translated by
''good form" 1t is, of course, only a mirror
which reflects every change Of fashion,
while politeness is a substantial and perma-
nent expression Of good will and kind
feeling.
II we accept it as the dictate of courtesy
that ones guests should be introduced, it
follows that they should be introduced IN
such way as to make IL easy to fall into
conversation. 1t Is not necessary that the
hostess should present Mr.. Smith as ''the
Australian explorer" or Miss Brown as
''the author Of that charming poem IN the
Age" Such an Introduction almost neces-
states personal turn to the conversation,
and makes it decidedly awkward for the
other person, who may never have heard OF
the Australian expedition or the poem. In
nothing is the skill Of the hostess so clearly
shown as in this word with which she
shoves the boat of new acquaintance of the
social strand A hint of some topic in
which the people introduced are mutually
interested, an allusion to an acquaintance
which they hold ID common, a mention OF
some place, book or picture familiar to both,
launches them successfully: and the hostess
may turn to her other guests with her mind
at ease. If she is wise, she will have asked
several persons, preferably young girls,
to act as assistant hostesses, to share the
duties of introducing and entertaining.
She will also have invited several more men
than women, III order to have a circulating
medium; as a man may without awkward
ness be left standing alone, a woman never.
Nothing in the line of party-giving is SO
easy as a small evening party. 1t Is often
pleasantest when most informal. Invite
only such guests as come to see y0u, and do
not, as Emerson says, interpose screen Of
things between you and them. Have done
with apologies Deficiencies speak for
shut by explanations. Welcome your guest
heartily, set before him your best of mate
rial and spiritual refreshment, aud then
cease to be over-anxious as TO his enjoy
ment.
Let the rooms be softly, but not dimly,
lighted. Lamps, except for odor of kero-
sene, are preferable to gas, on account Of
the mllder light Strew the tables with
books and photographs, draw chairs and
sofas into easy groups, that four or five
guests may talk together without effort. II
refreshments are to be passed, have every
thing ready in side room, and strive TO
time the serving so that it may fill pause,
instead Of breaking in upon full
tide Of conversation or music. Instruct the
servant that all the people in the same
groupar to be served at the same time. II
not too warm, light fire, as a gathering
point. Add to these surroundings the in
spring presence of a genial host and
hostess, and what guest could fail to re-
spond by cheerful readiness TO enter into
the spirit of festivityi
Alas! there are people who settle back
a leaden weight upon their entertainers;
people whose eyes are fixed on hole in the
sofa cover while they listen languidly to
their host; people who appear to regard
yivacity as q mark Of inferior breeding
social oysters, who hope, by never opening
their shells, TO deceive the world into the
belief that they hold pearl. All these are
as common as they are depressing. The
ideal guest is much more rare than the
ideal hostess. The role involves the power
to play second fiddle gracefully, 70 take
time from the first violin, and aim simply
to aid the general effect WitL no personal
interest in making q party success, to
throw ones vital energies into the breech
is stretch Of altruism as rare as admir-
able.
Much Of the explanation Of the iethsrgy
Of guests lies in that phrase; The expend-
iture of vital energy" We, as race, are
too tired for social enjoyment An editor
who was invited 10 literary gathering to
listen TO a paper, responded. with more
vigor than civility: GOOD gracious would
you ask q man who had been telling trees
all day for living 10 come TO a wood-chop-
ping party in the evening for funi'
The task Of making society sociable may
well stagger hostess IL il involves first
regulating the business day Of the guest
But that leisure class Goes not solve the
problem il sufficiently attested by Byron's
description Of
&" Society one vast and polished horde,
Formed OF two mighty tribes, the bcres and
bored"
This is the verdict of one who had tined al
the luxury and elaboration that could De
devised by q class which made society q
chief pursuit Suppose, then. we begin q:
the other end, aud Try what help may lie IN
simpllicatioa. and the adaptation Of society
70 the requirements Of business uer and
busy women; IA adopting a social code
wherein the only thing demanded Of the
hosts shan be q spirit Of hospitality. AID
the only requisItion Of the guests readiness
70 be en- .er.Ained and desire 20 contribute
something to the hiIarlty OF the occasion