The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-01-03

come and more cheerful and restfu
atmosphere than he has found outsid
OF it. II each wife would make this tn
leading resolve of her life the worl,
would be revUlutionized.
l once heard man say two hours af
ter his return from a months absenc,
from home II have heard more faul
finding and fretting since | came bacl
than in all the time exis away" and
did not blame him that he went out anG
banged the door behind him. | hearC
another man say once: This is my first
real rest since l left hone. began tC
feel rested as soon as opened the door
An hour at home pays re for all the
| wear and tear of a week outside
Surely, those words repaid that wife
for the hours she had borne of loneli-
ness. worry and small vexations. They
paid her, too, for keeping the fact tu
herself that she Yves sutf' ring with ia
tigue and neuralgia
Had she given her hu band long di :
sertation on these troubles it would have
ruined his pleasure and in no way bene.
fitted her.
II you are i'll enough to need specially
| conslderate treatment or attention, tell
youI husband, and he will bestow 1t al
most invariably, for men are, as a rule,
very tender hearted and sympathetic
toward a womans suffering; but the
complaints that are talked Of every hour
IN the day cease to excite any sympathy
and only serve to weary and annoy the
listener.
During the last two months two cases
OF reckless and cruel extravaganza in
wives have come under my notice. One
man, the kindest of husbands, was suf.
fering from temporary embarrassment
in finances, and begged his wife to econ
omize for few months in their method
of living. She grew hysterical and &C.
cused him OF parslmony and meanness,
threatened to go home TO her parents,
and refused to discharge any of her ser
wants or to relinqush any of her luxu-
riea.
The other wife insisted upon moving
INTO larger house than her husband
felt able to keep up, and finally, having
gained her point, deliberately ran him
into debt for $400 worth of new furni-
ture. Such women do not deserve the
name Of wife. They have the mercen
AIRY spirit of the mistress, who only
cares for money.
The wife should be the first mate of
the ship of matrimony. She should not
only assist in steering the craft through
financial gales, but she should be ever
on the watch to avert danger, and her
tiue instincts should tell her when to
tack or lower saill, without waiting for
orders from the captain.
The petty tyrant or nagging wife is
perhaps the most hopeless case of ALL
The most trivial courtesy or attention he
shows another woman arouses nasty
phase of jealousy in her nature, and che
renders herself ridiculous and her hus-
bands is humilated constantly. She is
forever referring to the time when he
was lover and treated her differently, ="
forgetting that in those days she studied
to attract him. She complains that he
"never makes calls" with her, and she
finds fault with all his friends, and is
never suited with anything he brings
home TO her. She wants to go out when
he wants to stay at home. and Uice UerSd,
and entertains her company by talking
OF his faults and shortcomings in his
presence, and yet she wonders that he
does not seem to love her as once he did
She is never satisfied with her seat in
the railroad car when they travel, or
with her apartments at the hotel, and il
she ever yields to his tgstes or wishes in
anything, she is forever telling him af-
terward that her way would have been
better, and that his way has caused her
endless annoyance. Such women need
the iron hand Of veri able master who
would control them by force. They
crush out all tenderness or respect for
the sex in mans heart, and render
home about "a attractive as a swarm of
mosquitoes do
Tact IS necessary element in married
life. 1t may seem very cunning to a
lover If you dash a newspaper out of his
hand and ask him to talk TO you. But
it will only serve to annny or anger a
husband. Do not intrude yourself upon
husband and Ak to be pelted when he
wants to read his paper, or when he i
worrying over his account book ,or when
he is talking business with some friend.
Do not complain to your husband that
he is cold and changed if he is not in a
state of fervent love making every hour
IN the twenty four. Remember that
iONV 10 lhC lut cuu--lb has IT'S udWlI, lle
cool evening hours, as well as its high
noon. Do not demand high noon the
whole twenty-four hours. Be patient
and cheerful through ITS seemingly cool
evening and even chilly night hours, and
bt lieve the glorious sun of true love ia
shining, still through, veiled from you,
and wait till the noon hour comes again,
as it surely will. Respond to the fret
look or tone of love in your husband,
and do not act cold and show resent
ment of the hours or days when he has
seemed to be occupied with other
Thoughts than you.
Praise him freely for every kind act
or word he gives you. Do not act as il
they were your right, but take Iheru as
precious gifts, to be received with grati-
tude. Praise for attention is The most
delicate reproof for neglect. Try and
never render yourself dsagreeable in
your manner OF actions in presence of
your husband. No matter if he does
not seem 10 notice it, he will remember
1t when absent from you, and it will not
make him eager to return to you Let
him find nowhere outside OF his home a
woman 30 agreeable and courteous and
winning as the one he left in it.
Study his moods as you would study
the most difficult piece of music, the
deepest mathematical problem, or the
most intricate stitches in needlework,
and make it the aim of your life to lend
yourself to his varying needs, as water
shapes itstlt to any vessel into which it
is p ured.
once knew woman who gave years
of her life to studying the moods of the
insane, that she might be able to lead
them out Of their mental maZes into the
light of reason. She accomplished mir
acles. Surely a wife ought to be pos
sessed OF AS great devotion toward he
husband ~ this womad felt for unfOr-
tunate humanity.
There are scores of unhappy house
holds today which might become havtn MS
of peace and rest for the perturbed souls
within If the wife would set about the
study Of her husbands needs, moods
and foibles with an aim to strength
and help him IN every emergency wi h |
all the love, patience and charity which |
this woman gave 20 strangers. Surely |
the test is worth the trial.
To the young brides who shall read |
this article let me sum up my advice,
and beg them TO give it heed
Do not attempt 10 deprive your hue
band of any honorable pleasure which
ne enjoyed before he married you. Be-
willing TO pass some lonely hours thai
ne may enjoy those old pleasures, and
ne will soon reward you richly for your
inselfishness by planning to please you.
lusuVa nina htf nkanrFtal "A
pleasant and affectionate greeting than
N s.r, HnI ord ha ,,.,tI .,a., |