New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-01-13
THE TAX OF THE DAY.

There are some American citizens In ALASKA WI
haven't yet heard who was elected. This 10 vep
unfortunate, but they can comfort themselves vitA
the reflection that they don't have to read anything
about the Cabinet =.
An Appropriate Namc--He-H ullo thsrs's W.
brothers cutter. What's he going to name hr3
she--welI, he thinks of naming her after the sxH5
because she makes such heavy rolls, you know
vard Lampoon. k
Legally, there is no such city as Mempsk ecasi|
years ago the State Legislature took away It's char q
and named It The Taxing District u tfei2s soess
The citizens are now tired Of this suEsfDts sss
and want the right to use their old nens y
thing N my. chicken salad, voter, as 'osE- oss
Waiter-Dat cahn't DO possible ssh
waiter@Kass calves ives dom hae No ssstbsn- ms
Epoch.
Here is pretty story of Miss Mary Anderson to- IA
q The Boston Transcript: few days ago, rs -
Anderson passing through one OF the great ar
goods Stores the statesmen recognized her ana wills
pered to each other "a
There goes Mary Anderson!"
little cash boy, hearing the remark too late y
see her face. exclaimed
"Ohi why didn't you let me know In timef
haven't got money enough to 20 to see her play ous
I might have looked ct her."
The lady had not passed cut Of hearing Turning
back she stopped and kissed the boy.
"There, my lad,s she said you can not only say
that you have seen Mary Anderson, but that she has
Kissed youn
wonders Never ceasc.-Propretor Patent Medieins
Tin hospitaD-My poor friend, hear you met win
terrible accident on the railroad near Smiths Cross
Pauent-Yes; was thrown fifty feet and given up
So heard; and when you resaInsd consciousness
you were gazing on the big rock which contains an
adyertiscment OF my Stomach Bitters'
awseilii, you have been snatched from the Jazz q
Ioatf Nd I have ralle Cd n
York weekly.
A correspondent of sThe Boston Transcript tells
this dog story: Last fall received letter
from my son saying that be and bis wife
and daughter were coming to pay US visit;
he concluded by saying: KIN the fafted
calf and put bottle on ice. read tho letter aloud
to my wife, tho dog Ian Irish setter sitting up beside
me and looking so wise that called my wife's at
tentlon to him, saying: Look at the 1udgov After
had finished reading, be barked TO 60 out, and did
not get home until quite late He came In the sitting
room where was reading, and made such demons
STATIONS that followed him to the outside door, ana
IN the porch found the lower part of the leg Of =
calf He wageed his big tail and jumped up on mes
saying as plainly as he could There's the CALI now
you attend to the bottiep'
Mrs smith-what do you suppose makes the neI
minister 50 underszedi He looks as Il he hadn't sos
Ms. Bascom--I dunno but l. kind O suspect he wss
brought up on the Shorter Catechism.-t Burlington
Free Press
The fconociasts are at IL again. They announce thae
tho instrument the hands of st. Cecilia, In the OLD
paintings of that saint is neither lus nor Pant
dean organ but the gridiron which the saint wa
martyred
Congressman Collins says that the choosing Of =
President last November, was an auction, not q
election That was what Mr.. Cleveland thought.
we presume when he made his bio OF 5loW" ior tne
oflce.-(st. Louis Globe Democrat
Tho cnterprisns people of Troy arc already talfine
about celebrating the centennial Of their great collar
and cuff industry In 1929 There Is getting around
the fact that the Troians are rusters.'
II Is stated in The Albany Argus that there is
diamond owned in Buffalo which Is supposed to Be
tho largest in the United States. at Is about tho
size of an almond and before cutting weighed ninety-
five caratss For some reason not mentioned ths
name Of the Buffalo hotel clerk whose shirt frons
this diamond has its home withheld for the present.
TIresome Home Life.-Mrs; Gadd-why do sou
spend so much of Your time attending debating so]
Mrs. Gabb with an afr Of injured innocencel-whsa
else can / dol My husband never contradc's me-
-tPhiladelphia Record
On the first Of the month Tho Colorado Springs
Gazette. published an annual review Of the Industrial
and social development Of that beautiful town. Tbs
issue Is credtable alike to The Gazette ana "
Colorado Springs, which Is chiefly Known to Eastern
people as a delightful health resort. ACCOMPANYING
the issue arc three large sheets containing well
executed coored views OF the principal streets ana
buildings OF the city. They reveal knowledge OF
tasteful and correct architecture not always found In
wellsettled Eastern towns
Jeweller-The inscription you wish TO have en-
rraved on the inside OF this ring, understand you
Young Man with some embarrsssmentl-ycs, that's
right But-er-don't cut the : Irene deep'-'oh'ess'
Tribune.