Morning journal and courier., 1889-02-18
SOUR R.

"What pity it is, :" says city clergyman, "that there are so many sweet sinners and sour saints. ."-St. Louis Republic.
 "Employer-"You say that your habits are all correct?" Applicant-"Yes, eir." Employer (after 8 moments pause)-'Do you drinka' Applicant (absent- -minded)- "Thanks. Don't care if do."-Burlington Free Press.
 The tenderest-heartedm man in America is one who lives in K street in this city He says he treats everybody mean and declines to make any friends because he cannot bear to think of anybody feeling bad when he Washington Post.
 And so they think of again making attend ance at prayer compulsory at Harvard. This is rather hard on some of the students, whose safety is in obscurity. By calling heavens attention to them they may be a good deal worse off than they are at present. Boston Transcript.
 Little girl (at schooD-"What did the 'Shs said I was bad and must come over and sit with the girls" "I like you. Can you stay longa" "Guess not. Wasn't very bad" "Well, you be bladder next time. ."-New York Weekly.
 Patronizing old gsntleman-I wonder whose little boy this iss
 Small boy-There's two ways you could find out.
 Old gentleman-How so, my son!
 Small boy-You might guess, or you might inquire.-New York Herald.
 Jones-"See here. Smith, here is that old Egyptian mummy that was speaking to you about. This gentleman probably hasn't opened his lips in 10, 900 years. By the way, speaking of mumnies, do you remember that passage in Robert Elsmere' - Mum my-"For heavens sake, give us @ rest!"- Burlington Free Press.
 Farmer (to Dakota emigration commission er)-Id think you'd be ashamed to ask peo- pie to go to Dakota, when so many have been frozen to death there lately.
 Conmissioner-Oh, my dear sir, you don't understand. It is true psople have been frozen to death in Dakota, but then the cold is so very dry and braeing that they never mind a little thing like that.
 Sensible wife-s'My dear, you remember of course, that before our marriage told you that rather enjoyed cigar smoke. Well, am sure l do not love you any less now, yet the fact remains that I find your smoking intensely disagreeable. What Is it!" Sensi ble husbaad-'sWhen I had only myself to support I smoked two-for-a-quarter; now smoke two-for-6ve. ."-Philad slphia Record Pardon me-" said the detective, deferen tially, "but I have noticed, madam, that while you have been making your purchase ID tne store, you nave approprlateO seVefal small a1tieles." "Allow me to congratulate you on your polite bearing" returned tn. lady, producing 8 card; z" you will see from this that the firm has employed me to set that its detectives act with good mannerl toward anybody they may suspsct"-Puck Post-Nuptial Comments.-First maiden ''They say he really has an income of thirty thousand year and he will have more wher his father dies; only think of it!" Second maiden-"Don't you envy her? Marguerite always was lucky girl, anyhow. How en " her!" Third maiden-"And I! They say too, that he isn't bit stingy and Marguerite can run up all the milliners' and dry good' bills she pleases and he won't say word about it. Only think" Fourth maiden "How perfectly delightful! I wonder l if he is a club mani But dare say he is and how charming for Margie if he is. Deal mel How lucky some girls are." Fiftf maiden-"Oh, don't mention it! It makes me green with envy when I think of it! How she will dress! And there's cottage at Bal Harbor too, and -" Sixth maiden-s' O girls, can't keep still any longer. I've sucf news for you! All of those stories are utter. ] ly without foundation in fact He really anG truly has only ten thousand year, ani would you, would you believe ita she actually married him for love!" First, second, third fourth and fifth maidens-"How perfectly urdI"-Time.