The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-02-13
TEACHING PEOPLE TO Reg.
a Professor of the Secrets and Tricks Of
the Trade-His Apt Pupils.

u
a Professor of the Secrets and Tricks Of
the Trade-Ifis Apt Pupils.
"You will meet the queerest charac-
tiers among them. Begging being their
chief profession, you will often meet
veritable experts, virtuosi in the art OF
begging, at the lodging houses l knew
fellow who used to give lessons in
begging at one of these places.
al tramp, a beggarY he would say
proudly. You're badly mistaken, sir.
l am professor. 1 90 not practice
begging. l teach others how to do it
successfully
"And he told the truth. He was
known as the Professor in every lodg-
ing house, and the lodging house world
looked upon him as the wisest man liv-
ing. He gave lessons in all and every
thing that pertains to the easy and lu-
cra.iye trade of Logging. He knew all
its merits and tricks and was thorough
ly familiar with all the stratagems APP
plicable for the imitation of the various
defects and deformities. He had II
separate class for alleged wooden
legged and one-armed people, TO whom
cealed and how one could make people
believe that one of his legs was saw ed
of, while the other was troubled with
rheumatism. He gave lessons in cpl
leptic fits and taught how one could
faint of hunger in front of kitchen
door.
ITO others he furnished the texts for
the plaintive tales that are being re-
cited during the appeals to ones COM
passion. These texts he had carefully
catalogued and specified There were
the walls of the poor heads of families
who, Notwithstanding their infirmity,
had to take care of five children; of
crippled army veterans whom the
Government, for one reason or another
refused to pension, and so on. There
were the signs of worllingmen out of
a job who had just'come out of n ter
rible sickness at the county hospital.
There were nobler formulas set aside
for the use of the more refined ones,
who, in the capacity of unsuccessful
lawyers, physicians. artists, etc. work
professional people. For these he had
touching tales-whole novels that could
move sympathetic souls to tears. You
could read in the Professors note book
the tale of lawyer who had lost his
fortune and name in defending q SEN
sational case; the story of physician
with whom his female patients always
fell in love; the biography of an unfor-
tunate and unacknowledged inventor:
the usual narrative of poor poet who
can find no publisher, or dramatist
whose productions are rejected by
the hard-hearted theatrical managers,
and so on.
But this was not ALL The Professor
also gave lessons in rhetoric. He lee
tured every day on the representation
of distress, on signing and sobbing.
The pupils recited beggar orations and
he corrected carefully every error in
their style and diction. Repeat that
seene again, my boy he would say.
You lack in the necessary dignity.
Dignity il above all the chief require
ment for beg ing. And you. big chump,
do not speak so rapidly. 1t seems as if
you are swallowing the words. One
could hardly make out that the matter
in question is your crushed chest
so on.
"The Professor was well paid for his
lectures. He received certain per
centage of the earnings of his pupils
One day he was told to make himself
'arce, and he disappeared. You will
often find true artists, excellent actors,
among the beggars. Such fellows gen
orally know all the reculiarities, habits
and customs of their game, and change
their business methods according to
their circumstances. They even take the
trouble of finding out all about the re-
ligious and political views of their Vie
Tins, their family affairs, their friends
and enemies, etc, and work them for
all they are worth. "-Erchange.