The Portland daily press., 1889-12-28
THE CORONER UNDERSTOOD.
That Happened Which Might Have
Been Expected.
New York Sun. |

They had lifted the body out of the
canal. and dozen of us stood around it
when the coroner came. He glanced at
the face, asked who first saw the body,
and then said:
81 have expected this for year or
more. Poor fellow! No inquest will be
necessary"
''But isn't it case of suicideg' asked
one of the crowd.
''CerualnIy."
''And shouldn't you investigate the
causes which drove him to the rash act?"
81 know them already. He was a
clerk in a hardware store next to my
office. Last summer he got charge of
the refrigerator department. A hundred
times did I hear him repeat:
"'A refrigerator? Certainly, ma'am;
step this way and be seated. Now, then,
our Peerless refrigerator is built entirely
on scientific principles. This, as you
will observe, is the ice chest. The cold
current passes from the ice down these
air pipes to the right, circulates along the
racks, passes up through those pipes to
the left, and escapes out of that ventila-
tor in the end. There is always a con-
slant current of air, not only preserving
the articles placed on the racks, but car
rying the odor away. We guarantee
that you may place onions and butter
side by side for one week, and that one
will not taste of the other. Inside this
zinc lining is layer of charcoal two
inches thick. Our refrigerator is cooler
with five pounds of ice than any other
with twenty. The circulation is on sci
entific principles, as you will observe.
No bellows are needed to create the cur
rent. There are no cogwheels to get out
of order-no springs to give way. Actual
experiments have demonstrated that
there is an actual saving of 30 per cent.
of ice during the season. The racks are
galvanized, as you will observe, and the
trimmings are of the latest and best pat
terms. We sold these right along last
year at S1s, but. having secured all the
hardwood lumber in the country, and
having monopoly on the supply of ice
in the United States, we have decided to
reduce the price to $15.'
"Day after day for three months, and
sometimes five or six times day, he re-
peated this statement" said the coroner,
"and I knew that it was only question
of time when the end would come. The
list of October they changed him into the
coal stove department, and then, day af-
ter day, he sang this song:
"'A base burner? Certainly, ma'am--
right this way. Presume you saw our
advertisement Last Sunday. The climax
in base burners has at last been reached.
Here it is, ma.am-our Acme. Isn't it
a beauty? Everything, outside of the
CRATES and windows, made of solid
nickel and warranted not to turn black.
It's as handsome as a painting, and lots
of people who can't afford piano are
buying these stoves simply as parlor
ornament. What would our grand
fathers and grandmothers say if they
could step from their graves and behold
picture like this! We have ladies come
in here and ask permission to sit down
and criticise the stove as a work of art,
the same as they would piece of statu-
ary or painting.
"'And now for the interior. This is
the firepot, as you will see. AS soon as
combustion takes place the hot air is
drawn down through these fues, passes
twice around the base, ascends to radi-
ate around the top, passes over the live
fire to be reheated, and finally escapes
by the flue when it has no further value
as heating power. Economical? That's
our strong point, ma'am. We claim that
this stove will heat four times the sur
face with one ton of coal that any other
stove will with three. 1t feeds and reg
ulates itself. ANY child can run it. No
gas can escape when the stove is closed.
All its parts are handy to be got at, and
by no possibility can any accident occur.
It lights room SO that no lamp is
needed, saves enough in coal to buy all
your meat and potatoes, and when not
in use as a stove we have music box to
go inside of it,
Poor fellow!'' sighed the coroner, as
he bent over him in pity. '"These were
the songs he was compelled to sing to
earn his daily bread, and we who were
near him knew that the end must finally
come. 1t has come. He did not want
to live any longer, and none of us can
blame him. l viii turn the body over
to the undertaken. The jury could only
find that he died of a broken heart"
Mother (policeman's wife(-Willie, I've