The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-05
BRIIHT } rs.

THE MAN who tries to crafty q champagne
appetite with beer income will never make
home happy-as long as he lives.-Detrott Irtb-
uHs.
IT Is SAID to have been Boston woman who.
on board yacht. spo<e of a nJtherly zephyr,
m-anlnS thereby q spanking breeze.-1rOg
Pre- S.
WE read of a Kentucky man who was para
lyzed by a mosquito Uite It is won Ter that
the bite didn't plralyze the MOSQUITO Te.cGS
SiftiH9S.
CHoLLY-Which is wight, Il don't think" or
II think not?"
Mss F,yppe-In your case either.-Terre
Hdute Erp ess.
A FALL IN LIVE SrocK-Gaggs las Stubtoe
falls full lengtn on entering the dining ROOM
Is he one OF our regular boarders?
WaSSs-Oh, no; he merely dropped In for
dinner.-Detroit Free Press.
FIRST DAME-Do you ever go through your
husband pockets in the morning?
second Damo-duh! Catch ms waiting until
morning | go through them before he goes
out in the evening.-Nes0 York Weekly.
PoMPoUs ENGLISH AUTHoR-My ambition,
sir, is to be burr ID in Westminster abbey, beside
the great me1 OF England past
American Person-lndeed! Nine is to remain
alive and kc ing among the ordinary men of
Americas pre- sent.-L0,oeI Citizen.
OLD MoNEYBAGs ION whose daughter Sprigs is
sweet)--You young rascal, what did you mean
oy UollluS peOplS IuAJ was an Oiu pTdles
Sprlgs who ugnt to know)-I-l didn't, sir.
only sal that you were freebooter, ami
can prove that. -NeD York sun.
did it ever strike you that dancing is sin
ful?" III uret young Dr. Gauche of an accom-
shed young society woma /. Well" she
re poudeI a reproachful look in her eyes.
''wnen l notice the way some people da nee it
does strike me good deal that way. Wash
tnyton Cdpttdt.
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER-I need not ask you
children whether there has ever been a man
since Sdmson's time as stro * "a he was. AL
of YOU probably know there was not.
Small. Boy (recently from rexaSl-Yes, ther
has; I've heard NAV say my Unce Rufus
could hold up whole railroad train all by
hissef-Chicdgo Tribune.
IT is only in the comic newspaper that the
small boy ge. S doubled up by eating greer
appl s a I'd gives tie underta Ser a job The
small boy in real life will start out nutting il
morning, and before he returns no ne in the
evening he Will have put himself outside OF
half peck of green apes, OXEN big turnips
quart of chestnuts, and tlree pints OF spriI :
water. and attack n supper WIN the )petitt
of a na.f-starvel bear. Next morninS ne tesls
well enough to repeat his tramp and feast
AorriStooR Herald.
REAL ESTATE AGENT Showing prospective
purchas a tract oottom-land)-Y III wvl'
fin ano her quarter secto ike tAis wit in 10(
miles of here. Look at the color Of the soil
Sc how tue land lies toward the sun. it,
cheap at double the price.
Prospective lrcnaser-But isn't it some
times under water? Does this stream neveY
overflow its banSs?
Real Estate Agent-Overlow? Never, sir
neverl
Prospective Purchaser Happening to spy ,
bunca of half-de aVel grass and dri tWoo
loIgeI twenty feet aoove his mead, in TIE torl
of Il tre-)-hoW do you suppose that ciunI
ev + got ~ there?
.-gent tent lusiastlcally>-Don't you see tn,
tree grows right at the e1ge OF the ba k? Ia Al
bunch of stun WAS caught there wa The re
was little bush. Probably happened a yea
or two ago. just rs | said, sir. RcnesJ soil ii
the world, sir!-CaicdQo Tribune.