Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1889-09-14
SATURDAY EVENING!
The Journals Fat Reporter on
Secret Societies.
OUR REGULAR SATURDAY FEATURE.
The Reporter Decides to Make an I'm
conditional Surrender.

II Is no use: give it up; / II make
a surrender--an unconditional sur
render, everybody may present my
name to their special secret society;
I'll join II; Tll join anything and
everything. Count me in, bows; II
am not member of all the twenty
secret societies before another year
is passed II will not be my fault. !
have come to this resolution without
asking my wife, but she will consent,
II IL that or death with me. My first
notice OF this was last summer when
was going home one night, and
stopping to pick up a pin stepped on
my thumb, | cried out 80 my
thumbW and stuck IL in my mouth.
A man jumped from "a passing team
and cried: "Where have you hid
him. brother"
"Him?" who, you idiot?" Iangrily
asked.
"Why. our brother who now
wants help; you did not ask the
question right anyway, but never
mind, you probably are young"
"Our brother! wants help! ask the
question right! What do you mean?
Are you crazy?
He looked somewhat surprised
and queried: "Did you not say 30
my thumb" and put 1t in your
MOUTH" YES" | explained, "for
stepped on it,"
''Are you not member of the
Mems protecting Husbands from
Wives Society,""
mo, said.
"Well. you----fool, what are you
using their signs for?" and he angrily
moved towards his vehicle again.
Shortly after this, while standing
ut the door Of the Reporter office,
waiting, stranger crossing the
street, l brushed u fly from my nose,
and then put my finger IN my vest
pocket for u Glove, when the stranger
rushed to me aud exclaimed:
"Brother of the twenty-seventh
degree, l greet your and he took
my hand in very careful manner
and shook II.
"The devil you dop said, "and
who are you anyway"
He looked u little disappointed,
but replied; "I am the y \ \ A l,
Unadulterated Knight of the Owl
Of the Tent, Of the twenty-seventh
degree, and by that token | greet
you," and he rubbed his hose and
put his hand In his vest pocket.
"Well, am no y Y Owl of the
twenty-seventh or any other de-
gree" explained.
Whereupoa he Strengthened him
self up and with iierceness inquired;
elbow dare YOU, you miserable de
ceiver! steal and Use the signs of our
noble Order In this wav"" and he
gave me wilhering look and
marched majestically away
One Sunday after this, while l
was rolling on the grass at the VIII
lows, became somewhat sleepy,
and rising 10 n sitting position | very
naturally stretched my arms up and
yawned saying, "Hl-ho.hum." You
can imagine my surprise at seeing n
dozen or fifteen men running to-
ward me, exclaiming;
"what Is the danger, brother?
How can We help youT We have
come to your assistance" " etc, etc.
"Mstlers hellg There is nothing
the matter with me aud | don't
want any help" said somewhat
annoyed.
They ,ooAS da little perplexed In
their turn, and one OF than said:
''Are you not member of the noble
Order OF the ID ,uble and Conoen-
Irated Essence OF Improved and
Blue Mrns and did you not
make our s'gn ofdlstnasse'
"No.n replied, III jl,l sti etched"
BLANK him! kick himr' ,ome
Dpe cried. "He Is AN imposter and
Aud they began TO
pass me around among them Ms they
would u football. until l finally
made INV 'scape more dead than
Illye.