Morning journal and courier., 1889-07-03
MISTAK RS.

Todd-"It must be mistake-this story that Griggs has been offered foreign mis- sion." Gawl-tfWhya" Todd-esWell, he's not an editor. D. The Epoch.
 The chairman of boiler makers conven- tion is supposed to gain attention from his hearers by inviting all present to rivet their eyes on the chair.-Rochester Post Express.
 He-"We have enjoyed lovely centennial evening. May be permitted to call againF' She-"Certainly; be sure and come up the next centennial evening. ."-St. Paul Pioneer Press.
 Poseboy-"Ah, there you are kissing your poodle again Miss Travis. Why can't you distribute your favors?" Miss Travis (arch- difference in puppies. s."-Burlington Free Press.
 "But, Johnny, how could it take you so long to post the letter for uncle in the post offcea" "Oh, did not go to the postoffce at all, mamma, but to the letter box in front of his house, so that he would get 1t sooner."- Fliegende Blatter.
 A Terrible Case-"Let me die. cannot afford to live." "Whys" "Well, my time is worth $5 an hour, 50 that 1t costs me $40 every night to get eight hours sleep. That is $14 800 year for sleep alone. can't do that on an income of ,000."-Harper's Ba- gar.
 What She WatsS Mss yo1 ae1g not much; you see have not yet got the proper stockings for such work" Got whata" "The proper stockings-the rubber garden hose I see advertised in the papers," Time.
 An "old-oaken- bucket" sort of poet has been writing in favor of an old piano. He gives reasons, end says: "And SO love the old piano still" That is the way anybody loves it. especially if it is out of tune and one who knows no music attempts to play it. New Orleans Picayune.
 In lawsuit in Kentucky the other day 1t was proved that horse had kicked three men to death and had run away five times was warranted 'perfectly gentle and safe for any lady to drive" Now and then there is horse trader who is absent-minded in his tatements.-Detroit Free Press. Yip-'sSay, Billy, borrow all the cash you can and put it up on Yale. I've got sure tip from Yale man that she's bound,t to win. Bow has heart failure, two ot the men in the waist are suffering from convulsions, stroke is recovering from the horrors, and they are ! to carry an extra coxswain to steer the bow l end." Yawp-"And you call tt ; bull points on Yale2 Who gave lem to youp Yip-"Bob Cook. ."-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 A very funny incident occurred out in the | neighborhood of Downing avenue and Wel- l ton street day or two since. A gentleman l discovered mounted officer looking curious. | ly about. "Just go down block" said the citizen politely, "and you will come to the Welton cable linz; follow the walk along un- til you come to Sixteenth, when you can get your bearings and find the City Hall." "But
 I'm not lost, sir; I'm policeman" replied
 the bewildered officer. "I beg your par don," replied the gentleman, "I thought you
 were stranger and got tangled up in these streets. You're the first policeman evel officer wondering if the citizen really desired l to assist him or was enjoying joke at the expense of the police department.-Denvel News.
 @ In glancing over an Illinois paper the otbel l day we were struck by 8 rather singular headline which read "An Illinois woman survives stroke of lightning" The account
 of this singular affair does not mention how
 long the stroke of lightning died before the
 woman did. In fact, 1t is not stated posi- lively that the woman was dead at all up to
 the time of going to press. We have been under the impression that stroke of light ming was temporary affair that had very l little duration, hence there Is nothing sur- prising In an able-bodied Illinois woman
 they proverbially tough-outliving the
 brief stroke of lightning. Old age has not
 heretofore been characteristic of stroke of lightning, but if the Illinois paper is correct
 we may live to see stroke of lightning ou
 crutches, wearing spectacles, amble up to Corporal Tanner and demand g pension. Great are the wonders of Illinois and New
 Jersey electricityl-Texas Siftings l A writer who, when young, was very green,
 In time grew blue as years passed OCT his head. nt ak uUh Na nSn1t
 The man grew blus because hs was not read: | Life.