davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02
Perpetual Motion.

Mrs. A.-So you have got new hat
It seems as if your husband gave you
everything you wanted. How do you
manage it?
Mira. B.-I do it by perpetual motion.
Don't talk nonsense"
I'm not talking nonsense. work the
perpetual motion racket On him. I go
to party, and some young man admires
me very much. Ny husband gets jeal-
Gus, Of course. We have a row.
make up with him, but only on condition
Of his buying me new dress or some
jswelry. With the acquired dress or
jewelry ! make fresh conquest. Hus-
band gets jealous again. Then we have
another row. We make friends again,
and get some more jewelry or new
hat, and so on to the end of the chapter"
Texas Siftings.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02

In the Dakotan vocabulary there are
two words, "rustler" and ''boon, which
occur with marked frequency in every
conversation. The rustier b the direct
product of blizzard. He moves with a
quick, restless force. He does not rest
for sleep or food He knows no weari.
ness of the flesh. He has no doubts or
fears. He believes and he is an inspirei'
Of faith. He will build hotel of 800
rooms or a street motor railway on the
blank prairie and wait for town to
grow up around it. The town always
comes if he be genuine rustler.
You can't tell him by his looks nor the
cut of his clothes. His grammar is often
added and he makes bib of his napkin
at the table But when he turns himself
loose upon project with money in it
the project projects. Itlooms. Ityawns.
He keeps it ever in the way of your eyes
and before you know it you begin to see
rainbows around it.
He cares nothing for money after it is
made. Ask and it is given you. Tell
him tale of woe and out comes his
purse. He would molder in week be-
hind desk or in counting room. He
isalways on the lope. Today he is getting
options on corner lots in Pierre. To-
morrow he is building mills at Yankton.
Then he is off to 81. Paul bulldozing "Jim"
Hill for more railroads, or off to New
York placing the stock Of new loan
and trust company. He is interested in
everything. He lets no enterprise es-
cape him. They'll all pay, he says, or
all t'bust." There is no middle line out
here.-Cor. New York Tribune.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02
Fatteuipe suaiIs.

The vineyard snail is held in great es-
TEEN in southern Europe. It is by no
means uncommon in England At one
time it was believed to have been i'm
ported by the Romans; while another
theory held that it was introduced about
the Fifteenth or Sixteenth century. 1t
is undeniably common in the vicinity Of
old Roman camps. But it is frequent
also on chalk and other dry soils, and
the opinion now generally entertained is
that the Helix pomatia is native Brit
ish species. The rulers of the world
were nevertheless its especial patrons.
Not content with eating it stewed in
every form, they fattened it in cochlearia,
or styes, meal boiled in wine being re-
garded as the food best fitted for pro-
ducing large and juicy specimens. How
successful they were may be inferred
from the fact-if fact it be-that some
Of the shells of these domesticated snails
would hold a pint Of wine.-Once a
Week,
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02

The common fly lays more than one
hundred eggs, and the time for egg lay
ing to maturity is only about two weeks
Most of us have studied geometrical pro-
gression. Here we see it illustrated. Sup
pose one fly commences ito multiply
and replenish the earth" about June 1.
June Is, if all lived. would give 800
Suppose 20 Of these are females, July
would give US, supposing no cruel wasp
OF cher untoward circumstances to in
terfere, 1880 flies. Suppose 5,625 Of
these are females, we might have, July
IS, 843, 720 fies.-New York Telegram
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02
KISS HER AND TELL. HER so.

You've neat little wife at home. John.
~ sweet as you wish to see;
~ faithful and gentle hearted
As fond e. wife can be;
A genuine, home loving woman.
Not caring for fuss and show;
She's dearer to you than life, John;
Then kiss her and tell her So
Your dinners are promptly SERVED, JOAN
AZ, likewise, your breakfast and tea;
Your wardrobe Is always in order,
With buttons where buttons should be.
Her house Is a coy home nest, John
A heaven Of rest below;
You think she's rare little treasure;
Then kiss her and tell her SO.
She's good wife and true to you, John.
Let fortune be foul or fair;
OF whatever comes to you, John,
She cheerfully bears her share;
You feel she's brave, true helper,
And perhaps far more than you know
Twill tighten her end Of the load, John,
Just 70 kiss her and tell her So
There's q crossroad somewhere In life, John
Where hand ON guiding storA
VIII signal one lover the river"
And the other must go on alone.
Should she reach the last intestine first, John,
Twill be comfort amid your woe
70 know that while loving her here, John,
You kissed her and told her SO.
-Woman's Magazine.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02
A Eullar Exclamation.

"Pa." plaintively pleaded petit Pierre,
popularity known as "Petey," the other
morning. II really cannot go to school
today. I ache all over"
Then you may stay at home," kindly
responded Petey's father, who, despite
his rough exterior, had a warm heart
beating in his breast.
$50 you lied to me, you young rascal"
fsrcely exclaimed Petey's father when
he saw petit Pierre fishing in the creek.
Don't hit SO hard, pa" pleaded Petey
between the whacks; cit was this was
aching for-to go fishing. ALBANY Ex-
press.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02
Long and Quick Jumps.

Harry Kennedy, the ventriloquist, has
been pluming himself upon a long
Jump" made by him from New York
to San Francisco and back. He made
the trip in one day less than month,
and played two weeks in San Francisco
But George Rignold has the best record
at this sort Of theatrical travelling. He
went from San Francisco direct to New
York to play at charity matinee, and
at the close Of the performance went
direct to the depot, and was at once
headed back for San Francisco. He did
not tarry there either, but proceeded to
Australia. San Francisco Argonaut.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02
A Child Was Singing.

A well known pastor states that be
spent an afternoon in climbing the tene.
msnt stairs Of Edinburgh. The squalo,
was appalling. He saw only sin and mis-
cry and death. Never was he 80 sick at
heart. Never did his faith receive SC
great blow. For the moment he was
tempted to exclaim: "There is no God"
Soon, In the very midst Of this hell lie
hoard note of faith-a child was sing
ing. At once the cloud lifted, the heaven
opsned. and Christ spoke.-Rev w. F.
Taylor
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02
100 Liable. wanted.

Aud 100 men to call on any druggist for
free trial package of Lanes Family Med
icne. the great root and herb remedy, dis
covered by Dir. Silas Lane while in the
Rocky Mountains. For diseases of the
blood, liver and kidneys it is positive
cure. For constipation and clearing up
the complexion it does wonders. Children
like It. Everyone praises it. Large-size
psekage, 30 cents. At all druggists.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02

II you have any need for dishes see our
immense stock before yon buy. We have
nearly all kinds, E. B. Humphreys Il Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02

RENT-store next 10 MONITOR office. W Ill
be rented for restaurant, provision or any sim
liar business. Apply TO 4. u. HUMPHREYS,
w oodsrown, y. j..
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02

Yon can get 3 ID. box Of best Satin
Gloss starch for Is cts, or 9 ID. box for
81 cts. at Humphreys store.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02

Pillows aud bolsterslmade of good tick
ing and filled with IA lbs of new feathers.
at %. 80 tor the entire set at Z. B. Hum
phreys & Co.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-08-02

One hundred new linen salt sacks for
farmers towels, 30 cents. at E. b. Hum
phfeys 4 Co.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-09-16

Mr. Whittingdale states that while acting
as surgeon to the Peninsular and Oriental
Steam Navigation company, he tried at
different times most Of the remedies recon-
mended for seasickness, such as bromide Of
sodium. cocaine, nitrate Of amyi, etc, with
very unsatisfactory results. The following
method. based on the treatment Of chloro-
form sickness, however, proved most success
full tumbler of tepid water Ia first admin
istered to the patient. This, Of course, is
generally quickly returned. but soothes the
stomach Then warm mustard and linseed
poultice. in the proportion Of one part Of
mustard to two Of linseed, Is applied to the
given quarter Of an hour after the tepid
water. -Chloral hydrate, 20 grains simple
sirup drachm, water, to an ounce.
II this he rejected. our correspondent be-
gins de uovo with the tepid water and repeats
the draught. After the draught has been
taken and retained, the patient is ordered to
lie in his berth. and sleep usually follows.
On waking the swimming in the head and
nausea have disappeared, and he Is able to go
on deck Mr. H. Wakefield considers that
any one who has seen much Of this malady
can hardly doubt that its origin Is mental,
and in a large majority OF cases the imagtn-
alton is the source Of trouble-for instance,
he has seen on several occasions ladies suffer
ing from seasickness before the ship had left
its moorings in the dock, where there is not
the least sign of motion. Iced stimulanfs
and the recumbenf posture are remedies
which be now employs. after a careful trial
Of all the 50 called specifics extending over .
period Of six years-London Lancet
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-09-16

When Justice Of the Peace Kehoe returned
from months sojourn at Rubicon Springs
he related the following amusing incident,
which for time relieved the monotony Of
life at that secluded mountain resort:
While wandering about in the vicinity Of
Rockbound lake. accompanied by boy, the
Judge was struck on the leg by the fangs Of a
large rattlesnake. The boy witnessed the
make strike the judges leg and ran back to
the hotel at Rubcon and gave the alarm.
A rescue party was burrietily organized by
the guests The party, armed with at least a
barrel of whisky in TASKS, decanters and bot
ties. hastened in the direction of the spot
where the judge had been bitten by the ven
omous reptile The members of the rescue
party had not proceeded far on their humane
mission when they observed the judge APP
preaching --hs usual limp in walking seemed
greatly intensified to their alarmed imagina-
tons.
A grand rush was made for the judge and
a hundred tasks were instantly uneorked, the
odor Of whisky supplanting that of fragrant
pines, frs and wild howers-each owner OF a
TASK being eager to have the judge first par
take of the contents, and others endeavoring
to strip his trousers of to apply healing oint
ments to the wound
The judge finally was able to explain that
he had been struck on the leg by RATHER,
and while indicating with his finger the spot
where the reptiles poisonous fangs struck,
remarked that it was his wooden leg that
had been bitten. and therefore the wound
would not prove serious. The judge after
ward killed the snake and exhibited the end
Of the tail as trophy, which is ornamented
with seven rattles. Virginia Chronicle
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-09-16
I.ifA.

Life is similar to a roadway-we are warn
cd at the firsi step we take that it leads to a
deadly precipice which will appear at an I'M
looked for moment, and which we must fall.
for the law Of this life is lever onward"
'.That could retrace my steps," we cry
a. we advance in years
"Onwardl onwardr' an invisible Dnser
and invisible force drags us, as 1t werG ever
onward, without hesitation or pause we
must onward to the fatal precipice.
Thousands OF Affections and anxieties,
pains, cares and privations fatigue and tor
ture us on the way
Gould avoid that fall" we cry in hor-
ror-and again that mysterious voice and
power
Onward! onwArdr' one must push for
ward in Wandering Jew fashion, hasten
madly. rashly, such 10 the velocity Of years
At times we come across objects which de-
light us, which help US to forget, flowing
waters, flowers that lose their perfume and
fade. One would stop, little rest-a minute,
an instant, '.onwardr and in the meantime
we see disappear behind us all that we have
passed. Frightful crash! inevitable ruin,
We console ourselves as we return home
with flowers gathered on the way-which we
81 hiuie' "o
lose on partaking.
Will-o'the- wisp, with your lantern bright,
you attract us, you lead us onward with your
dazzling light until the abyss is reached.
Already all good things begin to disappear
and blot themselves from our sight. The
vegetation grows in less abundance and rich
ness, flowers seem less brilliant and fragrant
prairies lose their enchantment for us: the
waters run less clear; all grows dull, all fades.
The shadow Of death hovers about us; one
has the presentiment of having reached the
fatal abyss-we are on its edge-one more
stepi Already the horror bewilders the
senses, the brain whirls, the eyes grow wild.
''Onwardr One turns back Alas! all has
fallen, all has vanished, all dropped away
From the French of Augustine Duclos.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-09-16
srArsonsRv NOVELTIES.

:
hig sr'tn- atri very bstir one vm<
p-sse sn ss--aw make very funny ees.f
clip
Attached to . tiny. cut glas~ iaksfAnd 3 =
huge ns-!sel key vith = sh-rrnacaster - u
the shank
uu- Of the nure beautiful novelties shown
Is an owl in panchssi sfssa which hA3es in il
neck an ink wcIl
.naa, worm s.f.n crs.s ro,.,. dxp pous
- : a., . ,h.-,,,omss.r : h.ad
-. - -;a,.i.,. 49,. -
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-09-16

Clos''y related 20 the coupler is the vesti-
bue, which within the last few years has
become fashionable The vestibule Is not
merely "A Injury. but has a certain value as
safety device. The fun measure Of this
value has not yet been proved Occasionally
livrs are lrst. hy passengers falling from or
being blown from the platforms of moving
trains Such accidents the vestibule will
preven& and, further it decreases the oscil-
lation Of the cars, aud thus to some degree
helps TO prevent derailmeut 1t is also some
protection ayains. tel,scoping. A few months
ago coal train on double track road was
deruile1, md four ears were thrown across
IN front Of a solid vcstibule train of seven
Pullman cars approaching on the other
track. The engine nf the vestbuled train
was completely wrecked Even the sheet
iron jacket was stripped Off from it. The
engineer and fireman were instantly killed,
but not another person on the train was in
jured. They escaped, partly because the
cars were strong and partly, doubtless, be
cause the vestibules helped to keep the plat
forms on the same level and in line, and
thus to prevent crushing Of the ends OF the
cars.-H @. Prout in Scribuer
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-09-16

The wissr business V,en and the most 500
cssxfui ones ara tnose who keep thetr Mans
prominently before the public when trade 70
good ~ well a. when it b poor When trade
IA driving j. the time TO make ones business
20 veil known that when the dull season
consa there viii sill BE- customers 70 keep
the manufacturer busy Said busineo
MAN.
II must advertise II would get good 70
suits from my men on the road Before
ADVERTISED, my travellers entering An ofiics
would be told we are not acquainted with
your house, and In many CASES found that
they could not secure an order, which. pef-
chance, would be given To a competitor ber
fore thsir eyes. AZ soon As | began 10 ad-
yertise, | had a different experience. Ny
men found that IL was equivalent 10 letter
Of Introduction from mutual friend IN,
yes, We have noticed your advertisements,
aud No feel acquainted with your house In
this Influence alone cur Advertising pays
This /. 90 unusual experience. Men will
deal with those whom they know, or OF whom
they have heard 50 much that they feel &C
auain,ed. A constant and continual adyer-
tiseIneut In reputable Journal. which is con-
stantIy seen, is like tho dripping water which
is wearing away the hinty rock, slowly II
may be- but surely. Circulars are thrown u
the waste basket. Catalogues may find iodg-
ancnt on a shelf, but the frequen, arrival OF
reputable Journal Is a constant and sure re-
minder which sooner or later must bear fruik
When everybody Is rushed, it is no trick TO
secure CUSTOM il Is when his neighbors are
Idle that the man who has kept his name and
goods before the public finds himself so well
known that he gets his full share Of what pa
trunage Is 10 BIS had Cloak and Suit Revisw.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-09-16

St Philip Neri, to whom statue is to DO
rsisei in Rome, was. according to tradition,
"A great miracle worker, but his claim TO our
grateful consideration lies in the fact that he
the real inventor of the oratorio. He was
born in 1918 III Florence and about 1851 con
ssrrate'l as priest at Rome When later no
founded congregation OF priests at Rome he
used 10 explain to them biblical histories,
and IN order Ia render these entertainments
attractive he permitted hymns and psalms to
be sung betwecn the intervals Of his teach
ings and exhortations. At length he drama
tizcd sacred stories writing them in verse
and setting them TO music In the fashion OF
hymns. The chorus,.s written in four parts,
were interSlsars.d with solos, and the plays
were divided into two parts The sermon
was delivered after the first part, and thus
the continual attention of the congregation
was assured for none would leave before
hearing tho second part of this primitive
form Of oratorio - Boston Times
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-09-16

Seeing Bret Hartes name on the title page
Of his latest book the other day recalled to me
how general had become the habit with au-
thors Of dropping one Of their surnames. How
odd Francis Bret Harte sounds, for example,
yet such Is the authors baptisrnal name.
Bayard Taylor's first name was James. only
a few others than Wiikie Collins intimate
friends, imagine, know that his name IL
really William WilSie Collins and so is the
case with many others. Austin Dobson was
Henry Austin Dobson before he took up lit
erature, and Edmund William Gosse is today
known only to the world by his first and last
names Henry r. Haggard" sounds strange
to thousands of ears who know Rider HaR-
gard" Brander Matthews was christened
james Brander Matthews, and Duffield Os
borno Is IN reality Samuel Dufiield Osborna
Laurence Hutton is a contraction of James
Laurence Hutton, and Howard Seeley is Ed
ward How ard steley, Jr Frank Stockton is
really Francis Richard Stockton, while Joa-
quin Miller Is corruption Of Cincinnatus
tIiner Miller The principal reason for this
contraction Of names, | imagine. Is that one
surname Is undoubtedly more striking and
easier remembered by the public than two
Bok's Literary Leaves.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-09-16

Police Justice Duffy WIS ut one time the
beau ideal Of pedagogue He knew tho
names Of more boys and girls in the FIRST
ward than the parish priest, and he had more
control over them by reason Of his position
as principal " the public SCHOOL ITO my
training in this calling, "quoth the Judge TO
me yesterday, do attribute any measure OF
success may have attained on the bench.
Boys and girls are the primers of humanity.
and the man who studies them carefully will
master the rudments of that Indispensable
branch Of education He who can read tho
character Of an arch delinquent urchin. and
penetrate the mystery hidden behind the
beautiful eyes Of n mise hievous miss OF u or
~ will have little difficulty in estimating the
yauo OF prisoners statement in the Tombs
or other police court The boy is father to
10 the man, the girl is mother 10 the woman.
Friction aud circumstances mu,ldle the mix
turc. Allow for them and you are all right"
New York Star
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-09-16

A letter intended for Ruskin has just ended
some remarkable travels 1t was posted in
Leith on Nov 81, 1887, with this address;
The Learned Mr.. Ruskin, the Famous Au-
thor England" Then from Edinburgh it
was forwarded to Kendall, and there Mr..
Rliskin had never been heard of. The Ken
DIAL postmaster tried London, and there II
was Thought that Mr. Ruskin lived at Rye
lane, Peckhan. From Office to office the let
ter went in the southeast and south districts
of London, but all to no purpose, and it then
occurred TO the postotfie that Ruskin might
be a neighbor Of Joseph Chamberlain, but
from Birmingham it went to Carlisle. From
there IL was again sent to Edinburgh, and
this time happy thought occurred, The
Edinburgh postmaster wrote on it: Christ
Church college, Oxford" and the postal au-
thorities there knew the correct address to be
Brentwood Chicago Herald
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-09-16
MECHANICS o. CITIES


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