davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
HUMOROUS

A hard case-The turtles.
In Chicago bay windows are called
foot reccptaclcs.
1t is the deserter in the rear who
''scents the battle from AFFAIR."
Onc-half of the world doesn't know
how the other half lives, but it ism for
want of trying to find out.
The washcrwoman, like the poet,
spends good deal of time over a line,
and finds life full of hard rubs.
We believe it was western man who
advertised: "Persons who wish to pro.
cure good mule will do we'll to see me
before purchasing elsewhere.
''Is humor hereditary2" asks writer.
1t may be or it may not, but if the
cynics are to believed most modern
newspaper humor is inherited
'Dear, DEAR" sighed Aunt Betsy,
"them New Workers. have singing dolls,
walking matches and musical clubs!
What on airth will they invent next?"
Fair Shopper Tin great storc)- There,
this novel will do. Don't wrap it up.
Clerk-Don't wrap it up2 F. s.-No,
indeed. I'll sit down here and read it
to kill time while waiting for my
change.
This Is a very practical age. The
venerable motto, "Trust in God and
keep your powder dry" has been trans
lated thus by an old Iowa farmer:
'Boys, don't touch these melons, for
they are green and God sees YOU"
81 am not business man, you see,
and should be glad if you would en-
Tighten me rs to what is meant by dou-
bic entry" "By double entry VIC mean
two sets of books, one of which may be
produced in court if required, but not
the other"
A beggar had hung board with the
words II am blind" round his dogs
neck. One morning policeman found
the man reading n newspaper. and said
to him: "Then you arc not blind,
seca" mo, sir, my cycsight is first
rate it's my dog that is blind"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
Fate of the Fur Trade.

The statistics of tho fur trade prove
the rapid exhaustion of the North Amer
lean and North European hunting
grounds. Siberia, too, has ceased to
furnish bonanzas of peltry, and the
time is near when the price of many
now fashionable furs will rise to extrav
ngant figures, though tho same expedi-
ent which substituted silk hats for
beaver hats may, before long, find IN
available substitute for sealskin and er-
mine. In the meanwhile, though, the
advance of prices may suggest the plan
of demonstrating certain varieties of
Northern fur animals. Success would
mean wealth in that sort of geological
enterprise. The skins Of the "fishcr',
or mountain brook mink are worth from
$40 to SIS apiece; those of tho OREGON
sea- otter from $25 to $40. and gcnu.
inc black fox skin in fair condition
would be cheap at $50, the value of the
best specimens being considerably more
than 500. In the bazars of the East
Siberian frontier towns the average
price of a sable-skin is 80 rubl es (about
sly, but in st. Petersburg "boas" of
black sable have been sold for rs much
as 1000 rubles. = Cincinnati ENQUIRER.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
Englnnd's Latest Colonial Apnexotio,

England's latest colonial annexation
consists of suwaroff Islands, in the
South Pacific, where her majesty's ship
Rapid has just hoistcd the British flag.
The islands are an uninhabitcd group Of
three, $50 miles north northwest of tho
Cook or Hervey Islands-also recently
anncxcd-and about the same distance
east Of Samoa, while they also lie in
line with Fiji to the southwest. Their
chief use appears to be for cable laying
purposes, as they arc only small rocky
group, producing no drinking water
and surrounded by reef twelve miles
long and nine broad. They arc thickly
wooded, cocoanuts growing on the
eastern islet. Ships can enter the
lagoon, and some years since an Auck.
land firm built wharf On the main
islet.--London standard.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
The Happy Farmer.


Atisst, at last the evening shadows fall,
And wearily but happily hie mo homo
While in my heart 1 hear the welcome call
That bills me from the hillside to the
hearthside come.
Oparting day, that brings tho parted
near
dusky shade. when higher lights ep
pearl
welcome thee with heart and carol free;
welcome thee, blest hour, when fond
hearts welcome me.
How loiteringly tho burning day goes by,
How h'avily the hours impose their need
pain!
But comes at length the lenient evening sky,
To bend with rest and GOODNESS Ger the
throbbing Lrain.
o tender eve that bring'st from toll re
leaseI
o holy night, with brooding wings of
peacel
hail thy shade, that homeward beckons me-
welcome thee blest hour, when fond hearts
welcome mel
boston Transcript
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
PROMINENT PEOPLE E

/ KING HUMBERT Is something OF q wit
PoPE LEO Kill is in precarious health.
THE Rev. DR.. Talmage plays the banjo.
THE Marquis Of Ely was the first noble-i
man to DO cremated.
GENERAL SHHRMANs mail is large enough
each day to fill bushel basket.
JAY GOULD is said to be In better health,
than he has been in fourteen years.
BEN BUTLER's portrait is to be hung in the
State Capitol Of New Hampshire.
TscHIooRIN, the chess champion, was born
at st. Petersburg, in Russia, in 1850.
HENRY GEORGE was elected honary Presi-
dent of the Agrarinn Congress ut Paris.
THE oldest living peer is Lord Teynham,
who hes just completed his ninety first year.
SECRETARY NOBLE will probably romnin
in Washington greater part OF the sum-
mer.
KAID MCLEAN, q Scotchman, is Comman-
der-in-Chief of the army of the Sultan OF
Morocco.
AGRICULTURAL SECRETARY RUsK is writ
ing book on the common diseases Of horses
and cattle.
SIR JULIAN PAUNcEForE, tho now British
Minister, has made good impression In
Washington,
MIR. PARNELL has been denied the liberty
of the city in Edinburgh on tho occasion OF
his visit in July.
KING KALAKAUA of Hawaii, has succeeded
in borrowing $40, 600 to defray the expenses
of a visit to Paris
IT is said that John Brights papers will be
withheld from publication during the life
time of Queen Victorin.
LOUIS KossUTH, tho Hungarian patriot,
has improved so much in health that he is
expected to live several years longer.
JOHN ANTON WOLF GRIP, the now Minis
ter to the United States from Sweden and
Norway, is remarkable shot with revol-
yer.
nous inventor of tho great tower has only
been Eiffel since 1880. Before that time it
was Bonickhausen.
In weeks travel over considerable terri
tory Gladstone who is nearly eighty years
old, made dozen speeches and returned
home none the worse for wear.
GERONIMO, tho swarthy old savage who
was captured in Arizona n fow years ago.
and is now confined on reservation in Flor
ida, has learned to play cottage organ.
THE Oldest Catholic priest in this country
is said to be Rev. Peter Havermans, of Troy,
N. Y, who has just celebrated the sixtieth
anniversary of his ordination priest
THE Shah of Persia has discarded the
beautiful headdress with the aigrette of dia-
monds, which ho wore on his former visit to
London, and now sports an ungainly plug"
hat.
Mr.. BRUSH, who WIS the pioneer in arc
electric lights, was 4 reporter on Cleveland
newspaper at S15 week less than fifteen
years ago. He still lives in Cleveland, where
he owns million dollar house.
TIE Sultan of Turkey will hereafter keep
cool while sitting in state, system Of fans
worked by shaft from tho rear can be set in
motion when he desires. The power behind
the throne will DO muscular Turk who
turns the crank.
GENERAL LLOYD S. BRYCE, the new editor
Of the North american Reuie,o, is the SON.
in-law of cx-Mayor Cooper, of New York.
He is thiriy-seven years of age, and gets his
title of General from having been Paymaster-
General Of New York in 1856.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
FASHION NOTES.

Parasol handles have grown ridicu-
lousy long.
Sailor hats arc only in uso for yacht
ing excursions.
Some of the new hats arc like small
flower gardens.
About one lady in every six has her
hair dressed low.
Fashion in dress in governed by indi-
viduality this season.
"Pattcrn" dresses in wool and other
materials find great favor.
Ladies who are wise never touch the
hair with the curling tongs.
Green and gray arc decidedly the
rcigning colors of the season.
Among the revivals of old time
fabrics are Dyzantines and smooth lined
barcgcs.
Hardly French bonnet is seen with
out some admix turc of gold either in
the bonnet itself or in the trimming.
New but not dcsirablc-thc skull
watch that, by touching spring, winks
Mt you and thrusts out metal tongue.
Some of the fine imported bonnet
crowns embroidered in metal cost n
good deal moro than their weight in
gold.
Epaulcttcs of jet in heavy patterns
are used upon tho shoulders of lace
wraps, with fringed ends dropping over
the arms.
BlnclS grenadinc is revived for Sum-
mcr wear, and it is thought will be re-
stored 10 the favor it held before lace
and net dresses came in vogue.
Black grenadines with colored figures
aro madc up over colorcd silk Innings to
match the color in the figures. Black
morc ribbons arc the preferred garni-
lures.
Many of the open, lacclil1c straws of
the new bonncts are so light as to ne ccs-
state mounting them on skeleton wire
frames TO keep them in shape.
Smoky gray tullc, garnishcd with sill
yer tinsel and silver thistlcs, makes a
lovely ball gown for pretty girl, but
she must have good complexion and
high color to become her gown.
The Vatican flat, with wide brim
pro jecting over the forehead and short
in the back, low in the crown, and
trimmed with field flowers in front, is
the out-of- door, on-the-lawn and piazza
hat of the Oranges.
The richest gowns for afternoon re-
ception wear are trained and are made
with polonaises, also trained, opening
in front over rich petticoats of brocade,
or over embroidered and lace trimmed
u TX skirts.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
THE DIAMOND SPARK.

Tiny diamond sparks arc being
used effectively by way of sim
pie ornamcntation. They nro set in
silver, and n single row worn about
the throat looks like a continuous line
of light. A seasons dcbutantc wore at
late dinner dance Il costume of tulIc.
from its peculiar lustrous, silvery quality
called 'moon tullc." A fine strand of
diamond sparks cncirclcd her slender
white throat; three or four of the same
bejcwcled silver threads were twisted
about her arms; tho several small
wrought silver combs that caught her
dark coils of hair were likewise bcdia-
moncd, and wee gems sent their irredes
cent CLEANS from tips of her dainty
satin shoes. Dcbutantcs are not sun.
posed to borrow their brilliaucy from
gems; but SO dclicatcly were these
sparlSlcs added that they seemed quite in
Keeping with tho wearcr's youth and
freshness.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
HER MANNIsn-LookrNo CLOAK.

"Why do you wear such mannish-
looking cloak2" asked ono fair damsel
of another, as they strolled down State
street together. "Wcll, you scc," was
the reply, ~ ride on railway cars
great deal and like to have scat all to
myself. So sit down and fling this
cloak over the back of the scat beside
me. Everyone thinks it is q coat be-
longing to some gentleman who will
soon return from the smoking car and
net as my escort. In consequence 1 am
always comfortable without having to
be impolito. "-AWany az ~ Journal
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
The Hcalthfml Eucalyptus Tree.

The cutting down recently of nun,
Der of eucalyptus trees in the vicinity of
the White House at Washington recalls
the fact that the eucalyptus has dis
tinct sanitary virtue. 1t has the power
OF absorbing moisture, thus affording a
protection against malarial diseases.
Fifteen years ago the Trappist monks,
who possessed an abbey near the city of
Rome, planted trees of this species, and
now have several hundred acres covered
with them. The malarlal fcvcrs, which
werc formerly so common there. have
now almost disappeared, and the same
effects have been noted in those parts
of California where the tree has been in
troduced. There arc plenty of other
sections of tho country where its cul.
turc might be probably attempted. =
Philadelphia Record.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
PEARLS OF 1AoUaHT.

Nothing so immutable as truth.
Any kind of courage is desirable.
ostcntation is the signal flag OF hypao-
risy.
A great, strong heart is never over
come.
Hypocrisy and knayory arc siamess
twins.
We arc always the martyrs of our
own faults.
Let your anger set with tho sun, but
never rise with it.
Misfortune may make us proud; suf-
fcring makes us humble.
Great misfortune lends greatness even
to IN insign .ficant person.
One must be indeed unhappy to at
tempt suicide a second time.
Marriage is singulariy severe test OF
human naturc-far moro severe than
cclibatcs imaginc-under tho suspicious
circumstances.
Tho respect people show you in your
misfortune diminishcs long before you
have begun to outlivc it, and you are
irritatcd at being treated us before
There is u sort of instantaneous broth.
crhood between victims of misfortune.
When you have long been in mourning
you feel attracted by every black cloak
you meet.
If n man docs not max nc w acquaint-
ances as lie advances through life, he
will soon find himself left alone. A
man should keep his friendship in con-
slant repair.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
LADIES, DEPARrMENT.
rRoussEAU OF THE CHINESE rMrnEss.

TRoussEAU OF THE CHINESE EMPRESS.
The trousscau of tho Chinese empress
was packed in 600 boxes, each taking
two or moro coolies to carry. Those OF
the omperor's two wives next in rank
took each 200 boxes. The K'in-t'icn
Kicn, or board of astronomy, selected
the twcnty-sccond to twcnty-six days of
the first moon for the pharaphcrnalia to
be carried through the Tuug Chang An
Gate into the palace, the first three days
being occupied with the young empress
gear, the last two days with those of the
two beauties of tho imperial harcm.-
Washington Star.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
inyalids of Mary Anderson and Mrs.
Lapgtry. Chicago Herald.

WOMAN DHEss WORRYING REFORM.
For the first time probably in the h is
tory OF tho world tho feminine love of
finery is working great moral reform.
1t is wearing out polygamy in Turkey.
Dress has become too expensive
for most men to BIO able to keep moro
than ono wife. Single wives have be-
come the fashion, and on this account
women arc gaining in social status, and
the moro they got tho more they want,
aud the moro they get tho moro innu-
encc they have to accomplish their yet
unfulfillcd desires. So, altogether,
Turkey will probably be nightly rcvo-
lutionizcd on tho woman question with
in few years. The dress of the ladies
OF Constantinoplc, for instance, has be-
come so much like that of their Frank
i'h sisters that fair subject of tho sui
tan would attract very little attention
in IN American street. The feridje, the
largo shrouding mantle, is shaped al
most like dolman at tho back, and its
flap at the back has diminished to col
lar, which is fastened by knot of rib
bons in front and is sometimes trimmed
with lace. The yashmak is very thin,
and long gloves and bracelets worn, and
aged Turks, bcholding the spectacle,
shake their venerable head and sigh for
the days of Sultan Aziz, when women
who dared to dress SO immodcstly would
have been taken to prison, had he hap
pcncd to sec them on the street. -1yyo-
maui.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
rae Rettlrs. Or the Tide.

Last night our boats lay drifting, late,
Upon the seas unmoved expanse
When, iol some eddying swirl of fate
Some current Of caprlcious chance
Broke chain from chain and hoart from heart,
And we were borne apart.
You southernward, to drift or Ito
know not how, nor wien, nor whore;
Iunderneath this northern sky
X a frozen heart in frozen Or
Yet soothed by ono sustaining thought
biine eyes to mo have brought.
For this know; all tides converge,
Through dark and light, through calm
and stress;
The southern swell and northern surge
Some day shall meot and coalesce;
And all tho freights thes, currents bear
Shall meet some day somewhere.
Alb, what though black clouds hide the sky,
And desolnte, tracklcss wastes divide?
Some day, somewhere, our boats shall lilo
Within the harbor side by side
Where sorrow nevemore Ior pain,
Shall sever us again.
John W. OKceJc
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
WOMEN ON TIE WHEEL.

Washington is tho banner city for
lady bicycle riders. At the present
time there are nearly two hundred.
There is also ladies' club composed of
sixty riders, with n clubhouse of its
own. Much attention is given to Sc
curing good roads, and the suburbs and
picturesque spots near the capital make
the rides delightful for ladies. In Phil
adclphia there are about fifty lady bicy
clists and Chicago has about the same
number. Buffalo started this season
with several riders on the new machines.
lew York City has riding school for
ladies on the "Safcty" bicycle ON Fifty
second street and Broadway, There is
n large floor, so by 100, and the lessons
are private, with but two pupils ON the
floor at time. Boston has compare
lively few lady riders, but their number
Is fast increasing, and Lynn and Salem
each boast one who can ride any wheel.
Rhode Island whcclmen have an honora-
~ membership composed of lady riders,
and they are taking IN active interest in
the ladies' bicycles. They arc all going
to the Cottage City 'meet," and Rhode
Island Will be represented by several
lady riders. -BoSton Herald.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
An Arn.v of German ntrds.

A short time ago 700 German singing
birds were liberated in the grounds of
Cedar Hill, Mrs. II. d. Green beauti :
full home on the hills west of Portla and,
Oregon. This was tho consummation
of a plan formed several months ago by
German residents of the city, who sub
scr.bcd sufficient amount of money to
send man to Germany and secure q
thousand singing BIRDS of different
species. On his return passage the at
tendant was sick for four days, and 800
OF the birds died from want of care.
The rest arrived all safe last week, and
have been on exhibition at the in dus-
trial fair building. Among the differ
ent species are song quails, the black
thrush, song thrush, cross beaks, linnet,
starlings, bullfinchcs, nightingales 1.-TWO
varieties, one singing in the day, tho
other at night. gfeenfinchcs, g oldfnches,
chaffinchcs, skylarks, etc. Most of
them came through in excellent condi-
ton, and when liberated they made the
beautiful grounds of Cedar Hill VERT.
able aviary, fairly reveling in the warm
sunshine. For the most part they arc
understanding little fellows, in ombrc
plumage of gray and green. The bull
finches alone wear bright liveries. They
are fine little fellows, looking like red
coated Britishers, with their red breasts
and black caps and trim military bear
ing.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
The Bull TERRIER.

'The bull terrier is capital watch
dog, said prominent dog fancier of
Kew York to u Sun reporter. "He
never barks, because he feels that he
can deal unnidcd with any burglar, and,
in nine cases out of ten, he is right 1t
is all tooth with him, and robber
rarely knows that he is present until ho
feels him. But in this lire of business
he IS not favoritc with refined people.
You see, there aro no bounds to the
fcrocity OF bull terrier when he is
once aroused, and tho lifclcss body of
robbcr is nm unpleasant thing for the
servants to find on kitchen floor when
they get up III the morning. 1 once
sold good bul terrier to the widow OF
clergyman. She lived in lonely
house in Westminster County, and before
she had owned the dog week bur-
glar climbed through the basement win
dow. lie saw the terrier in the dining
room and managed to Chamber up on the
high mantlcpiece. 1t was bitterly
cold night i'll midwin:er and he clune
there, shivcring, for several hours, while
tho dog hungrily liked his jaws under
meath. The laly kept no servant, and
when she entered the room in the morn
ing she was ut FIRST terribly frightened,
but the fellow told her such a pitiful
story of his suffcrings that she was
moved to compassion. She gave him
81 and good breakfast and allowed
him to go away. Then she sent the
dog back to me, advising me to shoot
him, as such savage, rcmorscless brute
was clearly unfit to live. Bul-terricrs
and the widows of clergymen have no
common ground upon which they con
amicably meet.
81 doubt, too, whether bull-terriers,
faithful, brave, strong and watchful as
they are, have very much intelligence.
Certainly they have not as much as the
Scotch or tho old-fashioncd Skye;
mean the big, silky haired Skye, from
which the delicate little thing, like n
miniature portrait of his ancestors, has
been bred for lady's lap-dog. A
prominent lawyer of New Haven bought
finc bull terrier from mo about year
ago. On the second night after the dog
had been in his possession the gentle
man was guest at supper party and
did not reach home until the small hours
in the morning. The terrier met him at
the gate of his orchard and drove him
up an apple tree, where he held him q
prisoner until the family arose at break
fast time. The dog had only seen him
half dozen times, and he did not
recognize him. This danger with all
bull-terriers when used rs watch dogs.
They reason slowly, and when they once
reach conclusion, whether it is wrong
or right, they cling to 1t as tenaciously
as though it was an opponents throat
or prowling tramp's leg, and, like q
gun with an imperfect brccch, they are
apt to injurc their owners in an excess
OF zeal. Nothing will bcguilc them to
forget their duty while life lasts, but their
sense of smell is very weak, and bit of
poisoned meat thrown over the fence is
tolcrably sure to clear the course for the
burglars when they arrive, ready for
business, at night"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
One Way to Pay for an Education

One Wayto Pay for an Education.
A Harvard man tells good story of
how poor but ambitious young fellow
managed to stay at the law school. The
student in question lived in sparcely
settled Western village, where school
advantages arc few, and opportunities
to follow higher studies unknown.
After getting what education he could
at tho irregular country schools, he
bought and borrowed the books used in
fitting for college and mastered them.
Then deciding to enter the law, he
looked about for friends to loan him
money enough to go to the Harvard Law
School. But since he could find no one
who would loan him a considerable sum
without security, he had to resort to a
not uncommon, but unpleasant plaa.
He Ind his life insured and the policy
made over to the money-lender, who
therefore advanced him $1,000. Boston
AdnmtiNr.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-08-09
THE PRESIDENTS srENocRArnEn.

The first woman ever employed in the
White House is Miss Alice b. Sanger,
the Presidents stcnographcr, one of the
most expert shorthand artists and type
writers in the country. She is inclin cd
to be blonde and is between twenty
two and twenty -thrco years of age, with
very sweet face, largo light eyes and n
wealth of hair. She is an attractive
young woman, whose perennial smile
sheds sunshine around and about the
Executive Mansion on the murkicst and
gloomiest of days. She is one of the
fnmiiy Mt the White House and all the
personal letters of the President arc
written by her.-Timcs- Democrat.