Daily Yellowstone journal., 1889-11-08
DOCTORS ~PlATlTuoES.
low They Cajoie. Humor, Mystify and
Relieve Their Patients.


''Illness is always serious" is one
Of the stock phrases of the business
like doctor. ''Persevere with the
medicine" is q stock remark worth
several hundred year TO some mel
we know. The professional air"
which is now acquired requires o
genius To originate. but it Is easy
enough to affect il. Tie Abel Drug
gers are dying the death. The public
nowadays objects TO being made i'll,
aud, us a rule, in the better class OF
practices, medicines are either sup
piled free of charge, or prescriptions
are written; but generally the people
in the middle ranks Of life WHO en-
ploy the general practitioner object
TO go TO a chemist for medicines; con
s~equently the drugs are dispensed by
the doctor. We fear that many of the
most successful of general practition-
ers owe their position simply TO their
proficiency in the art of pleasing.
Il never contradict a patient one
of the most astute of our friends used
to remark. Curious are the eXpe-
riences on this head; We will give &
case in point. Mrs. y. came regular.
ly 10 the surgery of a professional
friend; her disorder was chronic. In
sober truth, she simply iancied that
her skin was too tight for her. For
months the bi-weekly consultations
continued. The practitioner was
aware that the lady was n nalade inn
aginaire, and he rang the changes on
tonics and placebos. They did no
harm; he argued they might do good
by their effect on the mind. At length
our friends conscience began 10 prick
him. He hemmed. he hawed; at last
he told Mrs. A. inpolite language that
she had nothing the matter with her.
Mrs. \. rose indignant. And have
YOU been physicking me all this time
if nothing was the matteri Ms. y.
left in a rage, and, walking straight
10 another practitioner in the neigh
borhood, she explained to him that
our friend did not understand her
constitution !" in fine, that he had com.
mitted the browning sin of telling her
that she had no disorder. The rival
practitioner was a wise man. He sym.
pathized, he prescribed, he is possibly
prescribing still. and still, probably,
! the unfortunate lady suffers from the
skin, which is too tight. This is no
historic pour rire; il is a solemn fact.
One of the most tradesmcn like prac-
titioners we know, in defending what
we fear can only be called charlatan-
ism, remarks: "They likeit, cir. They
will have it," This prac6tioneI al
ways uses the stethoscope, and takes
the patients pulse with a sphyEmo-
graph; he has the reputatio. among
his mero patients of being Il very
scientific man; he has a lirge and
wealthy connection in a fashionable
suburb. Really his ignorance is "A
Many general practitioners seek to
dazzle their patients by a dashing
turnout, an aifectation Of hurry and
hustle. One eminent accouchcur is
said to have actually driven himself
INTO practice. lie was known to his
confreres as "Jehu." lie affected a
yellow brougham and u pair OF car,
riage dogs; lie drove with jobbed
horses at a rate Of abOit fourteen
miles an hour; he soon became talked
of, and died a rich man. The clever
practitioner never ''lingers, lac makes
himself desired, and lets the patient
conclude that his moments are pre-
cious. AS a rule, in. general practice
the patient is never told he has moth.
ing the matter with him. ''He must
be i'll or he wouldn't come TO me- is
the natural sophistry Of the general
practitioner. lie is probably right; for
there is something consoling 10 the
generality Of people in the mere seeing
of a doctor. AS a rule, the general
practitioner, ifan honest man, succeeds
in gaining his patients confidence
i Saturday Review.