Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-10-12
VARIETY THE SPICE OF LIFE.
A Star Reporter Visits New York The.
alter and Finds Ii So.

oyercOat over his arm. even though the night
was rather warm for the season in New York
city, and the imprudence he had been guilty of
was impressed still further upon him when lust
outside the variety theater on the Bowery a q
gantic tough in good humored condition of in
tOxicatlon walked up, and, seizing the bosom of
his dress shirt with one huge paw made as if to
draw that garment out through the newspaper
youth 5 lOw-cut waistcoat.
Let go my shirt" demanded the victim of
the operation, with energy
Let go my SHIRT exclaimed the victim 3
companion. whose own evening attire was con-
cedied by light ulster. Il lent him that shirt
myself this very night"
The tough hesitated for a moment. but re-
hnqulshed his grasp upon the crumpled ex-
paEse OF linen. and extended an enormous fist
to within an inch OF the second young mans
nose.
How does that smell?" he inquired, sardoni-
cally.
The young man in the ulster shifted slightly
once. and replied with entire calm: 1T smells
very badly. indeed Then he turned and en-
tered the theater. followed by the reporter, and
purchased two orchestra seats at the box Office.
A grOggy person with a large badge, who stood
at a swinging door they had to pass through,
addressed them Familiarity with chow do,
chaPPIes, as ne tore of their coupons, and an
equally affable usher, evidently an amateur III
PrestIdigitatiOn. alarmed them somewhat Oh
their way down the center aisle by apparently
ClGWInL UH their numbered seas checks, SWal-
lowing them. and finally producing them sound
and whole from his waistcoat pocket, lust as
they reached the places belonging to them in
the front row.
THE DESCENDANT ORCHESTRA.
II they had been further back they might
have had some difficulty in seeing what went on
upon the stage through the thick mist of to-
baccO smoke that oyeThung the auditorium;
but "a IL was. such satisfaction as they might
OBTAIN from the nprfOrp1aupa wa only raI
by the cacoPhOnous discords of two fiddles and
French horn. each of which instruments was
played TO great extent its own hook I'M
medlately beneath their noses. sloppy tray
fuI up beer glasses was being convened
along the aisles for the refreshrnent of the
audience by an individual whose demeanor
exhibited that intense melancholy which
Is induced by continual soaking in
the beverage derived from malt and hops. I'M
I'll the subject is transformed into sort of
saturated solution. as 1t were. of beer and low
spirits. Cigars of the machine-made variety
were likewise puryeyed by this hypochondriac
attendant, and the rag carpet that largely COM
posed one OF them. burning out into a sort of
fringe at the end. affected the stomach of the
young gentleman with the rumpled shirt front
70 sach an extent for the space of five minutes
or so that ne was not able to fairly enjoy the
graceful ''IGIpsichOrean Interlude" as it was
called on the play bill. which followed an in
comprehensive Irish sketch that was half over
when the Two competitions arrived.
THE PERFORMANCE
The ''Terpsichorean Interlude' was rendered
BY a suspicIously blonde young woman with
red legs, who, after sprinkling about a quart of
common Coney Island sand from a paper cor
nucopla over the stage, proceeded to execute
a sort of shuttle of perhaps ten minutes dura-
ton that reminded the spectator OF a muddy
day fantasia ON a sandpaper doormat, highly
elaborated. The audience In general how
ever, eyinced such enthusiastic appreciation of
H. Nn0Vr Nv to-
two repltitlons of the performance and third
encore was only cut off by sudden withdrawal
OF the immediate scenic background and
the simultaneous appearance of lady
ana gentleman who were advertised on
the program as Americas Great
est SsTiO- Comic Vocallsts" Reinsurance
was also conveyed in large capitals to persons
who might otherwise be timid regarding the
morals OF serlo-comic vocalists at large, with
statement TO the effect that this particular pair
confined their melodious repertoire exclusively
TO songs which could not possibly bring the
blush OF shame to the cheek of the most hyper
sensitive modesty. For a comparatively brief
interval the two stars of lyric art" MS the
management designated them, discoursed in
tuneful numbers Of walking in the park and
sucn Ike chaste topics. with much perambula-
non OF the stage and incidental pantomlme of
hlrtatlous motive, until at length the scene in
front-representlng the facade of a house with
perpendicular streak of dirt and perspiration
separating Its two halves-was closed up, and
Slgnor Glacometto Hupi-Dudi, who is known
as one Jlnks to the New York police, came out
before 1t, cornet in hand. He bowed with the
grace OF a true italian nobleman and cast a
naughty glance aloft-though possibly il may
have been directed through habit at the
painted windows overhead as if in anticipa-
ton of pennies TO be thrown-and then plac-
Ing the mOuthpiece of his instrument to his
lips the world renowned virtuoso' caused il
to emit key note with SO sharp an edge to it
that the very spinal marrow of the auditor was
made to wriggle through the whole length of
the yertebr8 down to the os sacrum or tail
piece. Nor the agony discontinued until.
IN response to wild demonstrations OF approval
on the part of the audience, three narrowing
solos had been successfully footed.
COUNTERFEIT AFRICANS.
He then withdrew in favor of a couple of gIar-
ingly counterfeit Africans, who presented CO.
called plantation sketch" that included nearly
all the important features of life in the old
slave quarters. such as the turning of fip-fiaps,
all-round tumbling, dancing in slappetty slap
Shippers three feet long. with accompanying
Clalect yocallZation ana SO on. When this came
to an end, 1t was the signal for the entrance
upon the stage of the ''Earth's UNPARALLELED
NeHtri!oqulal Marvel" whose appearance, with
puppet under each arm, at once made evil
dent to the acute observer what had previously
been overwhelmingly, that there was in the
entire theatrical establishment but one Dress
suit. which served the purposes of various per-
formers. 1t had fitted the male serio-comic
vocalist with reasonable accuracy as he walked
IN the twilight Of the park; but on Sig Hupi-
Dudl. who was rather tall, it exhibited a per-
cepuble GOODNESS, SO to speak, between the
Pantaloons and the waistcoast, when he reached
after the notes above the staff, and, when worn
by the yentrlloquial marvel aforesaid notwith-
standing palpable reefing of suspenders the
trousers tralled upon the ground somewhat
and the unparalleled" nearly upset himself by
stepping on his coat-tails when he sat down.
As to the yentriloquist's skill in his art
the two strangers did not have a good op-
portunity for judging, inasmuch as their
attention was distracted at the moment by an
unpleasant incident
ACTING AS A CUsPrDoR.
The young gentleman in the light ulster had
been sitting in degage attitude, with one arm
hanging over the back of his theater chair in
that natural position which brings the hand
into sort Of cup shape. Taking advantage of
this, one Of three young rowdIes in the row
Just behind, who had been previously making
annoying remarks, gratified naturally keen
sense OF the humorous by emptying the largest
possible mouthful of tobacco juice into the re-
ceptacle thus conveniently offered. The OBJ
Ject Of this practical jest perceived instantly
what had happened, and, rising slowly to his
feet he lifted his hand carefully over the chair
back, so as not to lose any of its contents and
then, suddenly turning about, he distributed
the tobacco juice with a single skilful Jerk