Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1889-06-20
a DABBINIAN JoK 10.
How Some Wicked Aiabausians
NIonkeyed WITH a New Conner.

HOW some Wicked AthbaustAns
monkeyed VITA "a New Conner.
There is worthy citizen of Birming-
ham, Alabama, who is ready to throttle
the man who says ''apeculationn TO him.
Some months ago Mr.. Abraham Stayn,
an Israelite, moved from . neighboring
city to this place with the idea Of making
. fortune in hurry in some of the rapid
ways be had heard of. His expectations
were so sauguine, and he repeated them
| so openly, that combination Of leading
citizens was effected against him. Mr..
Carlisle Mulroe, prominent banker, to
whom Stayn had spoken on the subject
of Investments, had promised to kesp an
eye open. Mr.. Mulroe is lover of fun
and is suspected OF being the originator
of the scheme, which was as novel as il
was successful.
In accordance With preconcsrted ar
rangsment Mr.. Mulros informed Slayn
that he had discovered good thing, but
| pretty much ell the stock was taken.
though he might squeeze him in. II was
a nsw enterprise which had q corner in
line that would yield immense profits.
and the meeting Of the projectors would
be held week hence for organic tticn.
That was oil Mulroe WAS willing to di-
| vulge. IL Stayn was willing TO 20 IN
with this much knowledge Mr.. Mnlroe
might secure some Of the stock for him.
Stayn jumped ut tho proposition, ard tho
interview ended by his giving Mulgoe
chock for $l5, 600, for which he took
receipt and he WIS happy man.
Some days later sthyn received o cir
cular letter, private and confidential,
notifying him to attend meeting OF the
promoters OF the enterprise to which he
had subscribed. On tho night fixed
Stayn went to tire designated place, q
hall which had been hired by the con-
spirators. The gathering embraced some
OF the nloHt prominent business mon of
the city merchants, bankers, railroad
men and others. This meeting was called
to order and the form of electing sec.
rotary ard committee on credentials was
carried out. The chairman then an
nounoed that an important communion
tion hkd been received from the Mobile
committee setting forth thegrand scheme
which wss now under way, This paper
he then directed the secretary to read to
the meeting. The communication was
heard with profound attention. Tho
Mobile committee outlined the enter
prise, which tho lsttar etsted was even
then being put Into execution.
This enterprise was the purchase OF an
island in Mobile bay, where thousands OF
monkeys were TO be rBised annually. The
! rssiy arrived The pisa Involved sbe
I ! propagation Of monkeys Tor ueS IA the
!, cotton fields af lho south. Iue report
stated that it had bsen conclusiYeiy
| proved that monkeys could be easily
!. trained to pick cotton, aud that one
81. "A.
three negroes. In addition was shown
the comparative cost of feeding negroes
and monkeys, while there would be o
Tremendous saving on clothing. Tbs re.
y port closed with o prediction that in five
:, years all the cotton in the south would be
:. picked by monkeys. The reading was
y received with grave satisfaction by the
y meeting, aa was agreed beforehand.
i. The bewildered Stayn looked from one
At TO another face and could hardly believe
q his senses. Finally one gentleman arose
q and asked some questions about the re
y port, expressing desire to know whether
~ theexperiment hsd been tested sufiieiently
n to insure its success This COVE the timit
10 Stayn tue outlet for his own doubts, ant
s | he rose and expressed thu fear that til,
G. undertaking was ohiInerioal. The meet
lh ing, however, was rWhelmingly tn
~ other way, and voted for the immediDt
4, prosecution OF the work. Stayn, grow
Il ing more nervous, urged q more oirefu
ee consideration. His imagination aide
in his fears, aud he excitsdly asked VIII
to would train the thousands OF monkeys
az 1t was we'll. known fact that Italian
~, we're tho only people vino could do any
a. thing with monkeys, and lie pred;cte
~ that the syndicate would not be able [
nut get Italians to do this training. BE ais
or predicted that the monkeys would [
lst Continually escaping from their keepe
lie and injuripg property, thereby entaiiir
: harrassing law suits upon ths syndieat
iot Despite this speech the meeting resolve
Ic to prosecute the undertaking. and the
M adjourned.
nd Early the following day Stayn sougl
IN Multoe, and said he wanted to sell on
ers Muiros said this could not be done rig
snt then, as all the stock had been place
but finally agreed to give him what
had paid for the stock, and immediate
.os gave check for SIS 900, receiving
oss receipt therefor. As this transaction W
the consummated telegraph messenger,
in pursuance of one of the details Of t
has plot, entered with q message. 1t "
ges read, and was from Mobile, stating Il
unit the price of the stock had jumped
mn points, and was still booming. Null
oaI showed the telegram with great exul
ton, aud Stayn turned pale as he bege
the return OF the stock, hut Mulroe '
obdurste, and grimly thanked the Israel
rles for doubling an Investment for hi
! II When the joke was revealed few dl
Tn tn later Stayn was nearly tormented
Ia,a death. No man hero dares whisper nj
,ass ksy farm TO him now.