The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-02-14
BRIGHT BITS.

proudly.
Then, in heavens name. what do you write
Blade.
SYMPATHETIC vIsIroR-Poor man! What are
you here forS
- or stealing gold ring miss"
Poor fellow! And don't you sometimes re-
greet your wasted opportunities"
Indeed do, miss There was s. 600 neck
lace in the showcase that stole the ring from
and never saw it, JeUeIers' Weekly
DID anyone in this car drop any money!
called the conductor as h openei the door.
There was painful silence for half minute,
and then nan held up mis- hand
How much was itf'' asked the conductor
Il dropped S45 at faro last night but l can't
expect TO ges it q back. Give me $35 and let
the rest go TO experience. "-Detroit Free Press.
WIFE-If you want to get an Office WHY do
you spend all your time in saloonsf
Hnsband-Tne Office should seek the man, you
know, my dear
Wife-Huhh I never heard Of offices seeking
men In saloons
husband ,contemptuously(-Th shows all
you know about politics. Philadelphia Record.
STRANGER standing bewildered at the corner
OF State aud MADISON Mister, where is'all this
crowd going: have been waiting an hour and
a half for the people to pass on. want to get
across the street.
Chicagoan taking his arm)-Come along nv
friend. III see you safely over. How are
Tribune.
WHEN Handel once undertook in a crowded
church to play the dismissal on very fine organ
there, the whole congre ration became so en-
tranced with delight that not an individual
could stir till the usual organist came i'm
patiently forward and took his seat, saying in
tone OF acknowledged superiority: You can
not dismiss CONGREGATION See how soon
can dispense em?"-Erchdnge.
A DIsAsrsoUs CoNrRIBU r1oN.-Agent Ito sour
| faced lady VITA pitall-AadaW, am solicit
| iny funds to stat a benevolent enterprise for
| the poor whites of tn south. and thought
Sour-Faced LADY, can't give you money.
sir | have been fooled too often All can do
| is to lend my couutenance to the scheme"
Agent tsady)-That woud simply ruin it.
ma'am.- Burlington Free Press.
WHAT are you doing her4?' asked a visitor
| Of the young woman who sat on the front seat
Of the museum platform with her hands folded
| under her apron. DO you write with your toes,
| take Snakes in your hands or swallow burning
| papersy
No, ma'am I'm the young lady that always
| wore my diamond engage pent ring with re
stone turned in whenever l went out in com
! pany. '-Je9 elets' Weekly
New YORK DOODLE Aide aMAN (at railroad
! depot, disguised IS fat woman)-Here. sir.
| don't keep lady waiting want frst-class
! ticket for Mo1treal.
Former Constituent lin ticket ofice)-Rello.
alderman, is there going to be another trial?
Disguised Aaerm Al eavens, Nike, how did
| you recognize me- IN WIDOW Kelly's Clothes?
| Ticket Seier-Why. you have your shawl fas-
| tened with the diamond pin the boys gave YOU
| for getting them on the pipes last f4ll Better
| leave it with me, or youn be caught sure
| Jeloelers' Weekly.
QUITE A SECONDARY CONFEDERATION.
| B0uncer-Ah my dear young lady did I ever
| tell you about my dv.ntune in Africa? No?
| Well was up a palm tree one day. ami when |
| had reached nearly the to-, lost my hold and
| fell. If my friend. CAPT. Snifkns. hadn't been
| below | SlDulfnf bp ba,a
| for these festivities. However, here l am safe
| and sound Ha, ha!
Gertrude-YeS, but what became Of Capt.
| Snifkins?
Maj. Bouncer-Oh, splfldns He was buried
out there, of course. Couldn't bring him home,
| you kuow.-,Judg.