The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-11-28
vERMONT's GREAT "POO BAH"

patches TO the Herald that Col. Hooker
was one of the candidates for the SER
geant. alarms of the national Senate.
They are .nXious to find out just how |
many offices the genial colonel can fill at
one time, Here is partial list of those
he already holds: Chairman of the board |
of selectmen, chairman of the bailiifs,
chairman of road commissioners, presi- |
dent of the Universalist society, of the
ovcrseers of the poor, of the Valley Fair
Association, of the State Fair Associa-
tion, of the Horse Breeders Association.
of the Fish and Game Club, of the Wind
ham County Veterans Association, of
the Village Improvement, vice-president
of the Philharmonic Club and of the
County Far Association, and an officer
in the local G. A. r post"
So, so! This IS pretty well for
George, but the above must be only
a very imperfect list of the offices
now held by the modest colonel. So
smart and wide awake man as he is,
who gives up his whole life and soul
to office seeking, must surely have
more than this beggarly list to show
for it. To be sure, some little things
have slipped through his fingers. We
understand he lost the office of Pound
keeper down in Brattleboro last year
through some miscarriage; but as
there has not been any pound nor any
thing impounded for thirty Or forty
years, more or less, he loses nothing
but the title. Some simple people
express wonder that our George, who
never raised calf, nor colt, nor
potatoe, nor turnip, and not even
cabbage, Though he did advise the
Jamaica farmers to devote their whole
labor to that succulent plant), should
be at the head of all the stock breed
ing and agricultural associations in
the state but, Lord love their sim
| pie hearts, they don't know our
George in the least. Not they. It's
not calves, and squashes and cabba-
ges that our George is trying to
raise, and to inveigle others to raise,
through these so-called farmers clubs.
Not at all. IT'S uotes he's after. He's
got the whole state of Vermont plant
ed for votes, and if he don't harvest
a mighty crop his disinterested culti-
walton of farmers (not farms) will
have been in vain. There are other
simple folks, too, who really believe
that Georges appetite for office can
be satisfied; but they, poor souls,
don't know him either. An ostrich,
it is said, will digest cart load after
cart load Of solid stones and still Cry
for more. Just substitute {" offices"
for stones,' and we'll back our
modest George against the hungriest
ostrich that ever lived, and give big
odds, too. Talk about turning his
stomach with offices ! Why, he isn't
a quarter full yet. He wants to be
sergeant-at-arms In Washington, he
wants foreign mission, he wants to
be president, he wants TO be town
representative, he wants to be state
senator, he wants to be member of
Congress, he wants to be governor,
he wants, well Heaven only knows
what he don't want, and he wants
them all bad, too In short, he
wants the earth. That's the kind of
a man our George is. It's lucky for
Vermont that she has one man (and
only one in his opinion) who is fit for,
and is more than willing to take, all
the offices. Bully for our George
But the SITTER is in heap of
trouble. Each OF its pet boys want
the whole cake. These things being
thusty, how are We TO provide for our
beloved Levi? He wants the earth,
too, but nothing seems to be left for
him. Even among ostriches two
throats can t swallow the same stone
at the same time neither can these
two office cormorants grab the same
Office at the same moment. And here
is our trouble. If we could unit the
two by kind of Siamese-twins liga-
: ment, SO that whenever one of these
gobbled up an office, the other would
help digest and assimilate it, we might
feed both of them at the same time,
with the same office and make both
happy. If Levi will only bring his
powerful mind to bear, he can nc
doubt invent a llgament that would
do the business and end our troubles,
tNow, Lew dear, the SITTER has done
lots of things for you at one time and
another-now's your chance to pay
some of your old debts.
THANKSGIVING.