The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-24
The Figures Fetched Him.

1FOHt HIc 4NetO I OTN ~ ora.
Give me good square u ink of rye
whisky" was the specific request of de-
moraLzed-looking tramp as ne approached
the German saloonkeeper
Mr.. PfalsgraH tapped gently on the bar
to suggest tuat it was necessary tnat he
should at least see the complexion of his
customers IN Jney
That bit of pantomine means that Won
expect money, SUP. )oSe. Well, I'm a man
OF few words and absolutely devoid of de-
ceptton L haven't got it. | need deep
draugat OF reI liquor, and on this occa-
sion must rely solely on my face and
figure
Mr.. Pfalsgraff proceeded TO state with
considerable vehemeuce and WORLDLY Eng
llsn That IL was mighty bad security, and in
his place OF business would not 60 tor a red
and solitary cent. Ii adj / III ue set for tb
that the applicant was nothing more than
beer tank at best, and the country was al
ready to- full of buns of that kind
NOW, look here, DItchy,n said the
tramp, you MAKE an assertion that can't
permit to go uncnallenged You intimate
that am Leery b IN and that the coun-
try Is tt!let to overh wing with people #
ny class Th is a serious impuGa.ion.
With 1ut making : 3 ecltic DENIAL in my
own case, | must speak out behalf of my
outraged couuCrymen. Now, pay attention
me-" and ne fixed NJ. PfalsSraff with
his bJozy eye. 81 take it taat you have
II It seen the figures ju,t issued by the
chief Of the bureau of statisJlcs at WasI-
ipgtoA"
Il tJn't care Won tam aloud dot know
my own peezenesS, ind der viggers i
der bureau OF stadisdeeks can go by Hall
fax"
But not so fast my German friend, !"
contlnu the tramp, calmly. these fl cures
have ben prepa ed for the treasury t.
partmelt at an enormous expense TO the
government and are OF the greatest i'm
portance. These statistics show that in
stead of being a country Of beer and whisky
guzzers we ate the most temperate people
Oh The face If the earth.n
''Py chiminy, like you to prove dot.n
Very well. Let us SET where we stand
with reference t. your own coun ry, for in
sta ice. Mr.. Switzer, chief of the buresu.
presents igu es to how tn at we produced
ia 1887 ouly 1880 200 gallons of malt
liquor against l, l65, $50, 900 gallons in Ger
ma w
'I,h dot sog'
You Just bet it's So Now, take Eng
up En- ,land-produced 1,2lS, ISL, 900 ga
Ions of beer against our paltry 765, 00O, 200
gall ms. What do You think of tAatn'
Veil, didn't expect dot
"No. of course you didn't How could
yous Though my appearance this morning
may he against me, / am gentleman OF
education aud disc 5rnme 1t a d have acc SIS
to this important Ii 10 OF formation. see
you are interested in these figures. as every
busi less MAJ should be, and [ Ill develop
them little further. The statistics sup
piled by Mr.. S itzer sh wv us toe surpris-
ing fact that the people of the United
States drank, per capita, i 1887 less than
- gall S of b .er, lie the pc pie Of Ger
ma drank over "A gallons, or more tnaa
gallous to our 1.n
'Py goodness. didn't know dot of Ger
many"
It's fact, though. Now, my esteemed
frie4d, you see who are the guzzlers and
VIII are not"
We'll, should sed so. Ton't say some
dings about d 1se viggers to de poys by der
salo n, und haf s1Iue thinks NIT men
Certainly, Mr.. Ptalgraf. l have no
desire to spread tais information br sdcast.
Beer3 No. You Ia 9 the beer. I'll take
VIII sky. Our per capita average in the
N tter of whisky is evan lower than it is i'll
beer. and iii help to raise it a trIfie."
Aud he aided three good fingers to the
general average.