The herald. (Big Stone City, Dak. [S.D.]) 1883-1890, 1889-04-05
WIT AND HUMOR.

;,
zausc that which prevails is called
truth. Puck.
M 4alking about nothing in particular,
1nrl bar fran a chanticleer's matin
ls1non he called crow barr Btnyi4uDl-
M Rspubtican.
ssLargc checks" for ladies' dresses is
AfIsuld old fashion. Ask any man
Atcsscd with 4 wife and daughters
W1rAa's lineyura Hcrald.
9s1lanagcr-IIow many characters do
Na say there are in your play9 Author
3 did't say there were any. This is
Sncll society drama
great man is happicst when he
sit down and write his memoirs and
ret all the mean things he knows
sint himself. --Ne,o orleans Hcayu'M.
III II Philadelphia has constructed
house which hc calls "A poem III
6tiek." Should it ignite from a deftc-
Nv iue would he cali it yersitlcr?-
,sNetrtstoWn Xerdld.
" Scicntist Gin restauranD Bring me
~ oecuction Of burnt peas, sweetened
NTH glucose and lightened with chalk
!, Njld water. Waiter tvociferously)-
Eo6y fer one! 1inte.
MaDillettantc- DO YOU distinguish the
kk of an amateur artist by the
Shniquc, Ar,ist-It is safer to Judge
1Sthc bio letters he uses in signing
TT name -Aetc York Sun
III admire that man Smith," said
,8Q11irc Closeiist At the club. "even if he
I'M Y fraud. He managed to borrow SO
lstEO1n me the other day. and | admire
HIM for it. .'-H1rper's Buzar.
Odd hubby-Don't 60 on so, my
lear, Just because | spent little
nlopey J have enough for life.
-yOnng wife But just think Of me
after yon are gone. -Ncw York Sun.
Miss Loyelorn-Th professor says
have the inventive genius. Miss Caus-
tiqne = Perhaps you misunderstood
him. No doubt he meant You We're
\ full Of new wrink lies. NtW IorS Sun.
.srhcy will pay for my joke on pub
licaton.' .roaned Crabley, As no
drappcd the editors note TO the floor
s4srcat Scott wanted that money
!. for board bill, not tonlbstonc!'-
Fkck.
Ell John Bright is said 10 have once
told Justin Mccarthy that he had 4
passonate love for doing nothing
IT is 4 sort OF Bright's disease that has
come 10 more than one lazy man.
NeU Orlea,4S P,caunnt.
Stranger (after ten years absence)
WHAT became of Bad. Luck 4 Go. ?
When left they were in financial
straits-seling out at cost. Citizen
They are 1T the old stand d--still selling
out. t.-NeW York Weekly
Mrs. Meguinness sure, now.
dye b'lave that woman In the shanty
beyam is Mr. O'Hoo'ihan's wife? Mrs
Du Ghann-Och, there's no doubt
about that. Owe heared him batin'
: her Philadelphia Record.
Aunt Deborah (rcligiously) Woe to
the man who marrles those Flybelle
girls; for they toll not, neither do they
spin. Miss Daisy-O, Aunt Deborah,
YOU wrong them, indeed you do. /
meet them often at dances. Life.
Deacon Crybones Cat i meeting to
protest against inauguration balls)
Dancing, my brethren and sistern,
i simply hngging to music. Lnso.
phisticated sister-Is that all it is?
got an idea somehow that dancing was
something wicked. - Time.
Mrs. De Culture" Horrors! Going
tO marry that young Mr.. Hayseed
Are you crazy? He eats pie with
knife Miss De Cnture-"l know it
ma, but love him. you'll die q
disgust mo l won't I'll never
have pie. -hiludelphia Record.
Said Pnddlcford to his wife on tho
way back from the museum: Il an
firmly convinced that women have al
innate, natural, constitutional love o
the horrible Good thing for you.
shs retorted. ''or you might have beer
bachelor to your dying day. Life
Ethel--When does your breach Q
promise suit take place, Clara? Clar,
lsObbing) r tomorrow. Ethe
(sympathizingly)--I am sorry to SCI
JON 50 overcome. Clara, dear. Clar;
-, it's nothing. Ethel; am smpl,
practlclng for tho jury!-Once Week
Wife Coming home from church) :
~. Goodman Is certainly remarkabl
man. Husband-Why do you thinl
%! Wife-Because he only rcturne,
!rom Europe last week and he didn'
Oegln his sermon with the remark
when | was in So-and-so.'- IN
Epoch.
khiladelphian-"Is it true that tn,
oorosIs Society has gone or is goinl
ooe Of existenco7'- York girl
Yes. You see, every body knew VIII.
- charter members were, and-ant
veil they thought the society hat
lived long enough" philndelDhi1