Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-02-21
ApArrENr wooER.

| PATIENT WOoER.
He wooed her in 1860, and she begged she
might decline,
As for anything Like marriage she then mao
no design.
In 1870 again he was still on the hook,
But she Just then was casting lines for an
impecunious ''dook.D
In 1880 once again he tried the obdurate
maid
But then. "Pray give me little time 20
think of !" she said
| And now he VOWS that he'll no more be SUD
ject to her whim.
For, very justly, he concludes she now too
old for him.
MORE AEGLosfANIA.
Sign Painter-You want a sign "Eng-
lish Chop-house' over your door, DO
your
Proprietor-Yah; dot vas id-"Eng-
fish Ghop-house.
"Do You want any extracts from the
bill OF fare painted in
.sYah; dot vas one goot idea. Baint
on d. board: Hot Sassage, Peer und
Limburger Cheese. '"-PliIadelphta Rec
ord
COUNTING WIDOW.
He gazed around the cheerful and
comfortable looking apartment, then
/ addressing the widow, he said:
'Your husbands been dead over a
year nowl"
EYES," she answered, with a sigh,
''over year.
81 remember reading his obituary, +"
he said, ''and thought it contained o
misstatement of facts"
"a misstatement of facts ?"
"Yes, it said that he bad Como to a
better home. In my opinion it would
be impossible for him to find more
cheerful, more comfortable, and, with
you in it, more charming and desira-
bic home than this.
The widow smiled sweetly, then he
was accepted. -Bost0n Courier.
BETTER SYSTEM.
"a system to strengthen the memory"
said the Tilted young man, with scorn-
full curve of his upper lip. "No. thank
you. No memory strengthened for me;
but the man who can invent a system to
enable me to forget, he is my friend for
life. "--Hdypey's.
HER WISH.
Hell am carried away with my pas
sion for YOU. -
Shell wish you were, but you are
not; you are still here.
DISPOSED TO BE SERIOUS.
Aspiring Author-Of course you are
fond of poetry, are You not, Miss Whip
perly +?
Miss Whipperly- My maid is, be-
lieve; but let US talk OF something seri-
GUS Tell me all about the entries for
the dog show.-Lye.
HAPPY COUPLE.
Wife-What happy looking couple
those two are | wonder how long
they've been married
Husband-Oh. guess they're only
engaged. York Weekly.
PAINFUL THOUGHT.
A fashionable boarding school in
New York teaches its pupils how to eat
asparagus. 1t is a painful thought that
there are thousands of girls--niee girls,
too-who are compelled to go through
the world, from the cradle 10 the grave,
WlbuOub ICCtANlnS u S&ASit itSHNh III tAo
art OF eating asparagus. -Norristoun
Herald.
DIsrINC TIoE
"Pa, what's the difference between a
thief and kleptomaniac ?"
"Oh, about $4,000 year. The one
who hasn't it is the thief '-Ba.ar.
ONE REGULARITY.
Miss Oyertherhine (of Cincinnati at
swell entertainmcntl-So you think
that our society is somewhat queer, Mr..
Gotham
Mr.. Gotham-It has its peculiar ties,
Miss Overtherhine; for instance, never
ato hot sausages in drcss-coat before
at an evening party. -Bd-ar.
PRIDE OF STATION.
Prima Donna tproudly)-lf that is the
Prince of Wales Mt tho door, tell him
that the queen OF the operate stage
has no desire to associate with mere
princes.
Maid-It is not the prince, madam; it
is soap manufacturer.
"Oh Admit him. ~ Y. Weskly.