Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-09-19
STREET CAR TALK.
The President of the Company Inter
estingly Interviewed by himself.

news DUL TWICE Ill Tie GNO IColo nO
have run, and then only after each OF
the two runaways, are we to construe
it that you are the runaway CORES
pondent?" If you expect US. however,
to apologize for the conduct Of our
mules, in the last runaway on the hill,
you will be disappointed; 1t was not
their fault nor the drivers. Those
mules are dOcile in the extreme, and
left to their own motion they would
not have moved in month, but what
would you do, if some darn fool OF a
passenger should turn off the brake
and let the car run up against your
hind legs, eh? Run, Of course, and
that is all our mules did.
Confound those idiots that will per
sist in monkeying with the brake OF
yank the bell cord out Of season. land
their name is legion.) In proof OF
which one year ago we put $S5 fare
register lit should be ''foOl-register")
In one Of the cars, the dial Of which In
dicates that up to date 1887 loose
toothed, lantern-jawed. fexihle-con-
cave. pated jackasses have pulled that
register cord.
Why, sir, our mules would blush at
the conduct of some of our passengers,
if we did not put blinds on them; and
think of us hopping off egg from the
front end of the car that was fired at
the driver for putting bracelet on a
boys leg with his whip, and Of putting
in glass where a turnip had passed
athwart our route pronounced rutel
from the hands of some unfrlendly boy.
Oh, the grief that We have suffered
in the past two years Is enough to have
broken the heart Of cast-irOn bull
dog,
Yes, full Oft with downcast eye, we've walked
the line,
And kicked off stones and sticks, old heels Of
boots and railroad spikes and SIGH,
And hoped and prayed the time might come
When We could lay Our hands upon
The accursed little son-of-a-gun
That placed them on the track-but all In vain
We've feed the marshal with pass,
The preachers 60 for half;
But force, and prayer and watchfulness
And threats availeth naught-the boys are bad
And there are men and women, too,
Who give us grief at times,
And for thu benefit OF such Well quote
The rules OF our line, mixed In with aphorisIns
now and then, to send them home,
And they are bluntly thus: II you
are alone with your dog in muddy
weather, place your dog and your
muddy feet on the opposite seat-it
will balance the car. Some do.
Occasionally pay your fare on enter
ing the car and see how 1t feels. Few
do.
To postpone paying your fare TO the
end of your journey oultivates absent
and breeds suspicion.
Many do.
The moral effect of a parent trying to
pass a ten or twelYe-year-Old child off
Tor less than FIVE, TO save the fare, is
wicked; and if a girl, will teach her to
her age when she gets old.
They usually do.
Unless the ladies In the car are
smoking the gentlemen should not.
None do.
If you feel that you cannot get the
worth of your fare without splitting to-
Dacco juice on the floor of the car, walk
or apply for pass. DO.
If you hail the car and expect it to
wait until you change your shirt and
Kiss the hired girl. you had better do
it when the Car is going the other way,
Or you may get left-we run on sched-
ule time. Remember.
The driver needs the whole of the
front platform. If you must know
Just how much we take in, call at the
office. Please.
To make a favorable impression
ladies who attempt to step off the car
while in motion should step with the
car, or have small feet and be carefully
dressed.
No man is 80 poor as he who beats
the Street Car company out of his fare;
unless 1t be he who would show of at
the expense of some new driver. Such
a man is poor indeed.
A good driver is a rarity; good,
honest driver is jewel; a good, hon
est affable driver who can please the
public, the president, and the mules, is
dead. A driver who can get rich rob
bling this line is a daisy. If you wish
to screen your boys from temptation,
secure them a position as driver. All
our old drivers who are not nov in
heaven are to be found in this country;
no occasion to go to Canada. We have