The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-07-27
CHAUNcEY DEPEW's MISTAKE.
BY ALEX. .. SWEET.

One day, not long since, Texas journalist was stranded in New York. He managed to work his way into the office of great local railroad mag nate. The journalist took chair, and unawed by the palatial surroundings opened fire at once with his conversational tattery.
 "This Is the first time have ever been in New York, but tell you, sir, am delighted with the town It is simply beautiful, sir, be-yutefuli Pm charmed, actually charmed"
 The railroad man glanced sideways ct the in- truder, trying to size him up. On previous occA- sion this railroad magnate had made a mistake In treating discourteously a shabbily dressed man who subsequently, turned out to be an influential member of the assembly at Albany. However . second glance at the intruder convinced the rail- road man that the proper policy would be to squech this visitor, and he made up his mind to give him no encouragement whatever, SO he said, icily:
 "Do you wish to see me about any thing2"
 ''I merely wish to remark you have beautiful city here.'
 "You are mistaken; 1t is not my city," replied the railroad man, wondering what the stranger was alter, but still very suspicious about him.
 al mean 1t Is a really beautiful city"
 "Is it2"
 "Indeed 1t Is; 1t is the hAndsomest city I ever saw"
 "Pm glad to hear 1t. am kept 90 busy I really have no time to investigate" replied the railroad mag nate, gloomily.
 "l am delighted with 1t. I have never before been so impressed"
 "You would be impressed still more If you lived here and had to pay taxes"
 The stranger perceived that he was not making much headway on that track, so he switched over to the climate.
 "You have truly delightful climate" con- tinued the stranger, casting persuasive glance at the magnate.
 al think we can justly claim that our climate Is the worst in the world Last year 1t killed the rhinoceros In Central park, and 1 hear that John L. Sullivan, instead of making this his residence, vUilI haun An woeVN NN have delightful climate for undertakers and doc tors," continued the railroad man, determined to carry out his plan not to encourage the visitor by agreeing with him about anything.
 "l was under the impression that your springs were very pleasant" murmured the stranger.
 "Under the impression, were your Well, If you stay here long enough to give the climate chance you will be under the daisies Our spring Is usually very badly frost bitten besides, the temperature hnctuates too much. It gets to be cold that the redeem his heavy overcoat, and the next day the therr ometer goes up to seventy five in the shade and he gets sunstroke."
 "Then summer Is your pleasant season." said the stranger, hitching up . little closer.
 "Bahl there Is no pleasant season here. March may go out like e lamb, but April comes in ike . lion that has got the jimjams and sore tail and feels ugly. May and June are worse than April There is a great deal of back number weather bound up in the season's volume. Is there any thing else in New York that you admire very much?"
 "Yes, the buildings are very large and massive.1
 "They have to be built that way to stani the mortgages on them.o
 did not come to the point, and the visitor once more shifted his base of operations.
 "The people seem to be very accommodating and polite" said the stranger. gers, otherwise we are brutal in our treatment of them.s