Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-05-05
pIssUADED FROM SUICIDE.

right in having understood you to sav,
when we were below there, on the dock,
that you have no friends or kindred whose
feelings you are bound to consider in deter
mining your conduct, and no worldly ties
or associations which you are bound to re-
spect?"
"Yes, you are right in that"
'T am right in having understood you 70
say that. But is what you said literally
true?"
aI am not in the habit of lying, SIR"
p "BIy dear madam, did not mean any
such imputation. But you were verT much
agitated, and sometimes when we are agi-
tated we unwittingly exaggerate.
''I did not exaggerate. What told you
was literally true"
"And the rest that YOU said? That also
you reafirm? That you are penniless, home
, less, weary of life and wretchedly unhappy
It seems brutal for me to state it thus; but
must understand clearly, for q purpose
which you will presently see"
"You need not apologize, sir. This is no
occasion for mincing matters. Yes, am
homeless, penniless, weary Of life and
wretchedly unhappy. But am worse than
that. am bad. 1 am utterly deprayed,
and base, and degraded" " she added, looking
me steadily, almost defantly in the eye.
So for an instant; then, dropping her gaze,
her cheek burning, her lip quivering, she
went on: "If /. were only unhappy, it
would be different. Unhappiness can be
supported, can be outlived. But am bad,
wicked, guiltstained through and through.
Guilt such as mine cannot be outlived, nor
lived down, nor washed out, nor in any wise
altered nor amended What have done
the evil have done-can never be undone.
The spot upon me reaches in to the core. If
you knew what I am, if you suspected the
crime have committed, you would not har-
Dor me in your house for 3 single minute
You would feel that my presence was q con-
tamination; that polluted the chair slt
IN, the floor under my feet. The glass I just
drank from-you would shatter it into bits,
that no innocent man or woman might ever
put lips to it again. Therel I have said
the worst. Can't you see now that am be
yond help? What has guilty wretch like
me to live for7 Why keep me here an hour7
Let me 20 at once"
She rose and stood restiYe, as II expecting
dismissal
'fNo, no; you must stay out your hour at
all events,"I insisted. "Sit down again
I am sure you are not as black as You paint
yourself; and in any case, guilt confessed
and repented Of, is more than half atoled
for. Even if you were ten times blacker,
however, it would make no difference to me.
Which OF Us Is spotleSsG shAA nos eass
stone at you," -,
"You are magnsnimous, she said Bit
terly.
'Think of me as scornfully as you vii,
1 returned, 81 am very sincerely anxious to
befriend you"
"If that is trne, you have it in your
power to do so with marvellous ease"
"How so?" I queried.
"Absolve me from my Agreements TO stav
here an hour. Sit still there in your chair,
and let me go about my business unmolested
and at once"
"Do you long 30 hungrily for death that
you cannot spare so minutes3" I de-
manded.
"Why should I waste so minutes. or oue
minute, or half q minute in idle talk?
Every second By which my lite is pro
longed is . second Of woes. Yes. long
hungrily for death. Since I am oiled IS.
yond the hope Of cleansing, the sooner I ana
abolished the better''
"And yet say what you win. I do not Be,