Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-06-01
Written for TEE EVENING STAR.
ETIQUETTE AND MANNERS.
What to Do and What Not to Do in
Society.

Society.
soNE PULLING PROBLEMS EXPLAINED FOR THE
BENEFIT OF coRREsPoSDENTs-wHEST THE FORK
SHOULD BE UsED-RErURNINa GREETINGS OF
yRIESDs-FAsHIoSs IN HATS AND GLOVES.
The following questions have been selected
for answer this week:
Is Il admissible for bride and groom to wear gloves
n home wedding:
The bride always wears gloves; the groom,
according to present custom, may DO as he
pleases.
e. ss?uid gloves always be worn when carrying
1t was at one time thought homogeneous to
carry cane without the hand being gloved.
ms was when the cane was not commonly
carried except when promenading. There
eoes not now appear to be any uniform CUSTOM
but II Is clearly in better taste to wear gloves
with cane. Cultivate the habit of wearing
gloves, says recognized authority, when
ever there Is an excuse for il. They keep the
hands clean and add to ones comfort"
USE OF The FoRK.
Is IL proper TO the fork alone eating soft
Srd pc or should the knife also be used' should
method.
The fork should be used alone with custard
pie and with all pastry, unless the knife Is
necessary: At some tables pastry is commonly
served with the fork alone. Use the fork When
ever you can, and in many instances instead of
the spoon 1t Is common, in restaurants espe-
cially, to serve melons with a spoon; they
should be eaten always with the fork.
GREETINGS.
l. Should country physicians wife when riding
with her husband return a bow from a gentleman or
lady who are her husbands patients. but with whom
g One Of my friends here has lady from the city
When they rise ~ an an9 me @ tns bsds
with the city lady or simply wish her good after
hands upon leaving the with the city lady aud
Also With my friends mother do not quite under
greatly obliged if you viii tell me what is right
l. A lady or q gentleman should always, at
al places and at all times. return the bow of
another person, unless there is very good
reason FOR not doing so. Not to return bow
Is to give the cut direct is to subject the person
who bows to great humiliation. If an acquant-
ance Is not desired let the bow be cool and
distant.
2. There ia generally altogether too much
shaking OF hands. At a company it is not
necessary to shake hands with anyone but the
hostess and host, but when there are only two
persons 1t would be awkward to extend the
nand 10 one person and not the other, unless
one Is an old friend and the other is a stranger.
In receiving guests the initiative should always
be taken by the hostess; if she extends her
hand do not fail to offer yours when you with
draw; and if anyone with her extends her
hand, return the courtesy when you leave. In
the same way, if you are hostess the obligation
OF the initiative rests upon you. Don't be too
Formal and distant in shaking hands. and on
the other hand don't be too ELUSIVE. cordial
manner and an extended hand often make
friends. Don't, therefore. be too formal. but
don run around the room when there are
number OF people, shaking hands indiscrimin-
ateiy. There are no positive rules in this mat
Ter; little tact is all that is necessary.
RULES FOR THE HAT
vii you please inform me If it is good form to
straw hat on Sunday when attending church or the
street. and obige?
We discussed last week at considerable length
the rules OF the hat, or rather the lack of any
rules. An Englishman. for instance, does not
wear a straw hat to church, but then neither
does he wear derby hat or a sack coat to
church. In this country very few people make
any distinction In their head-wear; those who do
would not wear a straw hat to church or upon
any occasion at all ceremonious in character
Climate, however, has something to do with
this question. for on a very hot day a straw hat
would be appropriate and admissible while in
cooler weather 1t would not.
HABITS OF MEN AND WOMEN
discussion took place recently in a social circle
upon the comparative habits Of men and women 1t
was agreed to ask your opinion on this subject.
Inc habits OF women, comparing class with
class, are certainly better than those of men.
They have not nearly so many disagreeable
trlcks. They do not expectorate; they do not
chew their toothpicks; they do not finger and
scratch themselves; they do not stretch out
their legs; they do not cape in your face; thev
do not snort nor sneeze; they do not puff and
blow. They are always more composed in
manner, more self-restrained more observant
OF little nlcetles. One of their worst habits is
70 glggle and laugh at nothing. Many Of them
can never speak without a giggle, whether
anything amusing is said or not Another bad
habit Is that Of pitching their voices in a high
Key lake them altogether, however, they set
the men IN most things very good example.
COLLAR FASHIONS.
Is there any established rule with men about wear
collar Fori
sISnHLnz coiiar would be more appropriate than a
There are no rules about the collar. ONLY
fashions. And yet a standing collar gives more
dignity than turn down collar and hence is
preferable for dress occasions. The funda-
mental rule Is to wear collar, for a great
social gulf lies between men with collars and
men without collars. The author of a recent
English novel. describing life in the London
slums, gives a little essay upon the social effect
OF the collar. There is always hope he saws
!or the young workman who wears a collar: it
Is sign that he Is ambitious and will probably
get along; but the collarless man has aban-
doned himself to his conditions, and will sink
rather than rise.
LETTER WRITING.
n MA . y9e indy ys me The proper form Of begin
Ihe sanitation of letter to an acquaintance
should be My dear Mr.. Smith, to intimate
friends the Mr." may be dropped OF course
II the writer knows his correspondent SO well
- ~ eNNiSso MN speech Dy MS Christian
name he would naturally do the same in a let
ter Some old-fashioned people use as a salu-
tatlon My Dear Friend" or Friend Smith "
but neither of these modes is considered in
good FORM" The complimentary close of a
letter may be Sincerely, yours" Faithfully.
yours" Yours, cordially" or yours, ever"
WEARING GLOVES
has long seemed that the custom Of carving
gloves IN the hand on the street is a senseless one
should IKE 10 know whether you agree with me II ia
my OPINION That gentlemen should either wear their
soNes on their hands or carry them their pockets
As an elementary statement gloves should
either be worn on the hands or carried in the
pockets; but there are some occasions when a
departure from this rule may be considered adj
mlssiole. When person on the promenade
hndlng his gloves very warm. for instance. re-
moves them and puts them in his pocket. he
would seem lnappropriately dressed for the &C.
casion, whereas the gloves in the hand are a
compromise; they suggest a merely temporary
variation IN a detail of toilet 4 man NAV
carry his hat for a short distance in his hand in
very warm weather and not seem singular. but
II he went out without his hat he would attract
everybodvs attention. BY the same principle
the gloves may sometimes be Temporarily
Carried IN the hand without the indulgence
being censurable. The hand does not seem so
wholly uncovered, so incongruously naked with
glove held therein when there is no glove
II all. The ArTHoR nj. s.Dox|T ;,
Written for Tur Fvr-Nr~a Sr.p