Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-10-26
WIVES WHILE YOU WAIT.
A Lovers Agency That Supplies Needed
Assistance to Cupid.

81 presume, sir, that your intentions are
perfectly honorable" said the red-nosed man
behind tho big desk. ''This bureau regards it
as part of its business to protect its innocent
and Iustful female customers from falling
prey to the wiles Of constituencies deceivers
whose pretensions to real manhood are exclu.
sively expressed by pair OF pantaloons
apiece"
The red-nosed man scowled virtuously as he
uttered these words and The STAR reporter
noticed that the same formula precisely was
reproduced at the bottom of the printed circu-
lar that had just been handed to him.
81 am tired of being bachelor" he replied.
simply, land have understood from your ad-
vertisement that your lovers agency is pre-
pared to furnish wives to order"
"You are talking business. We have many
very beautiful and accomplished young ladies
at present on our books-short and tall plump
and thin blonde and brunette-all blessings
waiting to be appropriated by the lucky fei-
lows"
them2"
mo, sir. That is not our way. The first
thing necessary for you to do is to become q
member Of the Order OF the golden cirolet,
entrance fee, payable in advance, is g. By
the payment OF that sum you are admitted to
the order. without initiation or further for
mality. At the same time, however, you are
required to Gil out one Of these blanks, giving
height, weight color OF hair, eyes and com.
plexion, nationality, education, disposition,
habits az to liquor and tobacco and financial
standing, You give me q photograph and I
give you number, for correspondence be-
tween male and female members Of the order
is: effected entirely through the medium of
numbers, and this is the general post Office"
PHOTOGRAPHS NOT EXHIBITED.
Sand presume you will let me see some Of
the young women's photographer
"By no means. We take as few chances as
possible of revealing their identity; for their
negotiations with us are conducted in the
strictest confidence"
''Is the young bachelor expected to 90 it
blind, then, and select his bride after the
oriental fashion, without seeing her before
hand?"
Certainly not; and. If you will give me an
opportunity, 1 will make it clear to you When
You have had your name entered in my private
membership books, which are open to no one but
myself, will show you q number Of blanks
filled in with the descriptions in full Of a. many
young ladies. Here is one, for an example:
Miss -, No. rs.
Age: ......0....O 20.
Height. ......... 8 feet 2 inches.
weight. ..... $50 pounds.
Complexion. go. Blonde, with blue eyes.
Education. High school.
disposition. .....Amiable.
N. B.-Plump and saucy, clear skin and good
figure; says she knows how to cook and keep
house; father Wholesale grocery clerk.
, "The N. B: is added by myself" explained
the red-nosed man. 20: course, the name and
address OF the young lady are inscribed in my
secret books, opposite the number &c, 80 that
l alone know who she II. / may show Won
twenty such descriptive blanks, each represents
ing female member ofsthe order, and il Won
select from among them No. rs, say, a. the one
appearing to satisfy your notions Of lovelinsss
BEST, place you in communication with her at
once. You write pretty little note to the fair
unknown and leave it with me; place Il in
pigeonhole No. Is, and when she comes inf she
ge1 It reply, penned by her, goes into
your box, and 90 the correspondence pro-
gressea until photographs are exchaneed md
very likely; an appointment made for . meet
ing somewhere"
NOT rRYsrno PLACE.
$50 you don't have them meet hers?s
Scarcely. I cannot turn my once into
trysting place for lovers, and then. too, Il
would mako things less private. Tho counting
must be done outside. II d mot likely that the
nrse young woman You are made acquainted
with VIII prove 10 Be the one sought, but,
sooner or Later, you are pretty certain 70 dis
cover your amnity-s lady who duplicates your
mental, moral and physical charaotsristios-in
short, the wife you have been looking for.
And, By the way. The popular notion Skss two
persons Of opposite sex in order to get along
together should b - opposite g pcssible ID
polnt OF temperament and phyuiQuo in my
opinion 10 sheer nonsense. Thooo peoplo agree
best - mar and wife whose tastes and feelings