The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-06-26

MAN proposes, God disposes, woman dis
composes, the divorce court interposes and
the press exposes. -Puck.
AUTHORITY is like dried apples. few
cents worth will puff man up astonish-
ingly.-Binghdmto Republican.
THE Mills bill is dead and Cleveland is in
the soup, and new era of unity and vigor
is dawning upon the democracy.-NeD York
Sun,
SOMEBODY says that in the other world
we will follow the occupations we follow
here. But where will the iceman get his
| ice?-Putsburgh Chronicle.
The other day little South Yonkers girl
said she knew they were going to have cab
bage for dinner, as she could &" hear it with
her nose. Men York Tribune
PUT two beans in bag, label them Hyp-
polite and Legitime and shake them up;
blindly pick out one daily and you have the
name of Haytis PRESIDENT B1fdlo Express.
CLARA BELLE says that woman is a
POSITIVELY; man an opportunity" Clara has
evidently got the thing wrong end foremost.
A man often embraces an opportunity
NOrriStO,Cn Herald.
The late John Gilbert never ran off with
another mans wife, never affected an Eng
fish accent and never wore his hair down
on his shoulders. Yet he was a great
actor.-PhHddelphtd Press.
81 LOVE the old piano still" sings poet.
So do the rest of us, only we shouldn't
limit our affection to an old piano Any
kind of piano that is still always arouses
our enthusiastic love.-N. Y. Tribune.
INTERESTING developments may be ex-
pected in political circles soon. Governor
Hill of N4w York, learning that there is a
leak in the democratic gas-works, has taken
a lighted candle and gone to tinker at it,
Chicago NeCS
FRENCH pride has had fall, after all, for
it has been discovered that a Hamburger
cheese Germany was the only thing consid-
cred by the architect as strong enough to
act as foundation for the Eiffel Tower
Nelc York Herald.
ANOTHER cable is to be laid between this
country and Europe. That will enable
Buffalo Bill, and at least one other Ameri-
can actor, to star simultaneously on the other
side of the water without crowding the
Eiffel Tower off the wires.-NeW York
Tribune.
The spectacle of poor little Samoa wait
ing, away off there in the South Pacific
soup, for something to agree to, reminds
one of little red fiddler crab trying to look
amiable in church oyster-stew while the
parson, the deacon and the Sunday school
Superintendent decide which one shall
eat it, - Washington Post.
In theater at Ashton, England, during
, the performance of a melodrama an ex-
lain " on the stage, who was strangling one
of the characters. The applause following
her action was uproarious, the most of it
coming from the gentlemen who sat i'm
mediately in the rear of the bonnet.-N0r-
riStOlCn Herald.
THE heather Chinee is no longer per-
mitted to come to this country, but the
lower classes of Hungarians are allowed to
land in America by thousands While
/ Hungarians were robbing the dead in
Johnstown the Chinese pagans in New
York were raising a fund of several hun
bred dollars for the benefit of the flood suf-
ferers-N orriStolCR Herald.
r THE Brooklvn Times doesn't like the Eng
. lish habit of emitting the article the " be-
! fore the names of yachts, especially in the
case of yachts named after women The
omission does seem unfortunate when
} it makes such statements as these possible:
Cora proved slow in her stays" " Oracle
ran her nose in the mud" and " Alice ca
reened and staggered under her heavy
| load. "-Ne,c York Tribune
. A PORTLAND hotel clerk says that Mr..
Blaine is easy to suit. " He will come in
! and register and ask for room il he is
alone. We know he wants the best in the
, house, and he usually gets it-invariably in
the first floor, front. He is very easy to
suit and never grumbes." Strange man,
, | that Blaine. Always insists upon having
the best that there is and never grumbles
. when he gets iti-Rockldnd Courier Gazette.
/ HENRY OPPENHEMER, our genial black
/ smith, was at work in the shop shoeing a
: horse, Wednesday, and his wife left the
q house to shoe the hens, leaving his little
/ son Conrad alone with the dog, Nebuchad-
t nezzar. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS got his head in
( the milk-pitcher and was unable to extri-
cate it, Conrad was compelled to cut his
:, head off to save the pitcher, and then he
o felt obliged to break the pitcher to get the
!. head out. Henry Oppenheimer nearly lost
n his son Conrad ii was a close call for him
1 when his ma came into the Kitchen
! Gladstone (Mich.) Delta.
1 Hon. JOHN ID. LONG thinks that instead
+ of putting so much money into speeches,
. parades, etc, during political campaigns it
: should be expended in newspaper articles
+ He says: Public meetings are of great
n value occasionally, but the constant, steady
: dripping of the newspaper is of marvellous
r influence, | think the time will come when
o the political managers will adopt the plan
B / have suggested which involves plain,
4 straightforward appeals to the reason, and
n which would reach the intelligence of every
A citizen in the quiet of his own home" Mr..
e Long is right The razZle-dazzle of political
e parades and the buncombe of the average
: stump speaker is disgusting to the intelli-
t gent portion OF the community and is not a
Q potent educator to the portion that is not so
k elligent.-Erchdnge.