The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1889-12-27
WIT AND WISDOM.

Some Difference.
Maryland, dearest, do you think of me all the
day long?
Dearest-I did, Harry; but the days are getting
longer now, and of course-well. you know that
must make some INSTRUMENTATION Transcript.
Salvation Oil cures rheumatism in from IL TO
AZ hours, swelngs and bruises in few hours.
Suicide is not more sinful than neglecting
cough. For only 20 cents you can buy bottle of
DIR. Bulls Cough Syrup and be saved from death.
Tryit
Mr.. Roundtop- Why do they call it Christmas
tide?
Mr.. Porty-Because there are so many we'd
dings, perhaps Chrstmas-tied. See?
Mr.. Roundtop- thought it was because SO
many were trying to TIDE over it.-Texas Sntlngs.
a mans wife should always be the
same especially to her husband, but ii she Is
weak and nervous, and uses Carter's Iron Pills,
sne cannot be, for they make her "feel like
different person." so they all say, and their hus-
bands say so tool
"The world grows better every day,
To this no person can be blind,'
We sometimes heal the SageS say
Who make study Of mankind.
We would not contradict the wise
Who In this world Improvement see;
"Ahi times amt what they used tobe."
Boston Courier.
Baby cried,
Mother sighed,
Doctor prescribed Castoriai
Farmer Oatcake (ste nly)-what do you mean
hon furlr tatf hic lima n,
night Nose?
DMose-Bress my SOUL Am dat yo', MIR. Dat
cake? was guardin' de place, sab / was guard
In There's good many thieyin' niggarhs
around about Chris mas time. Texas SlftlDgS.
Chilblans, chapped hands, frostbites are cured
by bathing in Johnson's AnodYne Liniment
Positive Proofs
Distinguished Foreigner-Do the American hui
mo1ous Papers caricature public men?
Public Man (sayagely)-Huh! We haven't any
- humorous papers In America
Distinguished Foreigner tquietly)-Ah, they do,
l see-Minneapolis Tribune.
BEECHAM's PILLS act like magic on weak
stomach
A Financial Crisis.
Visitor Ito her friend, a transatlantic cousin,
who was trying on new costume)-A perfect fit,
dear!
Cousin--Ahl nothing to the "it' my husband
will have when the bill comes 10, dear, you bet!-
London Punch.
A woman who rs weak, nervous ana
s eepless, and who has cold hands and feet can
not feel and act like well person. Carers Iron
Pills equalize the circulation, remove nervous
ness and give strength and rest
Tommy (at the opera for the first tme) Papa
where are the boxes?
Father-oyer there where those people are sit
ting who are talking so Loud.
Iommyyohl 'spose they're chatter-boxes,
$1,000 REWARD
is offered for better washing compound than
Sayena. Everybody likes Sayena that tries n.
Just try one package yourself. A useful present
in every package
Charles-I adore you, Edith, but alas! an
poor. However, l have a wealthy uncle from
whom have expec-
Edith (eagerly)-Is he married?
Edith-Then introduce me TO him, there's
dear.-Scraps.
The best medical writer's claim that the sue
cessful remedy for nasal catarrh must be non
Irritating, easy of application, and one that viii
reach all the remote sores and liberated surfaces
The history of the efforts to cat catarrh durnI
the past obllges us to admit that only one remed.
has met these conditions, and that is Elys Cream
Balm. This pleasant remedy has maste red ca
tarrh as nothing else has ever done, and both
physicians and patients freely concede this fact
The more distressing symptoms yield to it.
Or was AN Exception to the Rule.
smlth--There is no doubt that blonde-haire'
women nave worse tempers Than brunettes.
yones-Is that SOP
smith Undoubtedly
her hair.-Exchange.