The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-25
THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.
som EW HAT.

SOMEWHAT
Did you want to buy collar
That Is late and up to style,
And its cut is just the wrinkle
Your fancy TO beguile'
You ask the price--'tis twenty
And YOU feel down for the stuff,
When you find just even tiiteen,-
tell you, 1t is rough.
Did you walk up to a strange bar,
With friend or two or three,
Place your elbow on the walnut
And ask what II would be9
What a wave OF surglng Sadness
r Feelings far beyond CONTROL
When you find In changing pantaloons,
You didn't take your roll,
Did you take May to the theater,
On the first night of the play,
And the sign, standing room only"
Adorns the passage way?
You feel In blissful happiness,
For the tickets that reserve,
They are "home on the piano
1t Is more than you deserve.
-
Appearances are sometimes, one might
say very frequently, deceptive. A tall,
commanding figure stalked down the street
on a Sunday morning, less than six weeks
ago, aitired in fine black broadcl0th suit,
tile hat immaculate tie, and elegantly
polished boots. When the figure arrived
within II stones throw Of the court house
some one hailed 1t with,
"Say! going TO church,?
The tigure---(scornfully) "Naw! going
to chicken fight going TO take II easy !;
plenty OF time to catch the train!"
49,
| called upon gentleman the other day
whose official position imparts to his per
son an added dignity, a something more
than mere personal reserve, and the day
being very warm, we naturally turned our
thoughts towards cool wearing apparel
spoke of the flannel shirt and It's great pop
ularity rs summer garment; OF how the
lady writer's in the metropolitan journals
berate defenseless man for foolish devotion
20 the stiff bosomed hot, cotton shirt when
the thermometer playstO 'skeeter" houses
| poured into his willing ear the delights
Of cool, lose flannel shirt that allowed
the air TO circulate through Its meshes,
and under It's flowing collar. asked him
why one of these ice chests might not
quench the fiery cuticle of mankind by
act of assembly. | requested to know why
man was not prevented from making Sa
hara of himself In July, when he could
save laundry bills and perspiration In a
flannel shirt. | also pressed a few remarks
upon the light summer seersucker, as ap-
piled 10 the iurnace-like broadcloth, and
of its relationship to the Ice wagon and the
refrigerator.
He said for the coming summer he
would wear bleached clothes and a stiff
bosomed white cotton shirt,
why asked |, in surprise.
Because" he said. and he swallowed a
lump arising in his throat, because |
have great difficulty in maintaining sutli-
Cient dignity AS ii IL, with bleached clothes
and boiled shirt Where would dignity he
In n seersucker coat and flannel shirt?'
pressed his hand in a sympathiZing
way, for | felt that he was one Of that
great army Of gentlemen who have great
er regard for dignity than for comfort and
happiness.
Louis w. Hess who IL accused by Jim
Carew Of talking horse In his sleep, has a
real novelty on exhibition In his Ice cream
parlor 1t Is says Louis, u faithful repre-
sentatiOn Of scene from one of the acts
OF Chinese play as presented at the new
Chinese theater In Chicago. II is engrossed
on brass and occupies a prominent position
between two windows. Sam Long You,
the hero of the play, is entering at the
right with huge carving knife In his
right hand and chuck of limberger
cheese In his left, (at least Louis says IL Is
limberger) and by the position of his meth.
er extremities ! should say he was running
At the left Short One Lung Is leaving
the stage at 2:2l clip, with his eyes
hanging out on his cheek, and pig-tail
streaming out behind. He is the william
of the play, and the hero Is about 10 inEiCt
homicide upon him believe that Is the
explanation Of it--for have Louies word
for II. just above the warm dark hair Of
the hero is huge golden fly, which Louis
says Is descending TO bite the hero, Its
bite Is fatal-Louis says ii is. This was a
week ago. | went In yesterday, but the
positions on the picture were unchanged,
for neither the william, nor the hero, nor
the fly, had moved. But Chinese plays
are slow motioned. When 400 years elapse"
between acts, they elapse--there's no "sup-
pose" about IT, / presume the gadhy Is
waiting for his cue and may hang fire
for three months to come.
JOEEs-Why would Squire Weeks ra-
Their fine two Norwegians than one Ameri
CAM
VAN ECuART-Don't know-guess he
wouldn't rather fine 'em that way-oh, |
give II up.
JONES Because there would be more
costs in 1t.
80
McFADDEE-Qn the grocery Why is
barrel of flour like feather bedf
No answer.
McFABDEN-Because you have to take
the cover of to get into It?