Telegram-herald., 1889-10-28
BUREAU or SENSATIONS.
The Prospectus Of Literary eyndie-te
Nasn posed VI Gllt- fdsed IlaTs.

The Prospectus Of Literary Syndicate
Composed Of Gilt Edged Liars.
We are now prepared 70 orer 70 the pub
hshers OF country newspapers coon Win
a large b.
For many weary moons they have been
ged 70 feed 70 their subscribers . weekly
digest OF.
"Uncle Billy Wilson has our thanks for
Juicy hunk Of yenison, the result OF a huat
in the region round s0out the headquarters
or Sugar Greek and Little Big River. I'm
cle billy IS q SimrOd II considerable re-
now1 "
Jack Galley called upon Us yesterday,
and set his subscription forward SIX months.
He IS a gooc one. Come again, Jack" And
50 on, almost dd trlfnFun.
II was either furnish them that kind Of
matter, aad bore them al two dollars per
hfty-two weekly bores, or depend upon
some amateur liar OF little stye and ex-
perience.
But now times have changed BY the
expenditure Of much hard borrowed money,
we have corraled fine herd Of the most
fluent and perfect liars ever gotten togeth-
er outside Of the legal profession. These
are busily engaged in creating some OF the
most startling sensations ever sprung on
the American public.
These sensations, as fast as completed, are
chilled. and, except in the cheaper grades,
brass bound. With the better and more
blood-curdling grades, aftidavits, construct
ed by the leading patent-medicne testi-
monial builders OF the age, and warranted
TO preserve their luster IN any climate, are
given gratis. We quote a few Of our lead
ing drives as flers:
"Wild Man" lie very popular at present,
and having great run in the West The
hero, nine teet tall, kills sixteen people with
an axe discovered in an Aztec mound; IS
dressed in skins. After being chased over
three States by the entire populace, IS
brought 10 bay in a cave and captured, aft
er the usual desperate struggle. Chain
around his neck or waist, If you wish.
MOrtised for names and dates, all Of which
will be packed with it. Warranted 10 keep
timid women and children indoors for
week. Price, securely packed, $3.50
Our pet is called the Bandit Belle" lie,
and has sent numerous young men on the
trail of the originals, who, of course, never
existed. 1t tells about twenty beautiful
young ladies' who had rendezvous on the
top Of Braddlepoot's mountain. They
robbed every body. Stole horses. Young
man from your own town discovered them
and married the queen, whereupon the rest
declared themselves his slaves, and gave
him gold untold. Warranted to make every
unmarried male reader discontented. Re
versible. On opposite side, is good, strong
lie about a prominent farmer who discov
cred two toads as large as bushel-basket,
and with very yellow hides, covered with
red polka dots. Teeth two inches long.
Man now lies at the point of death, the
result of bite. Price, &940.
Balloon found in woods, with two skele-
tons locked in deadly embrace in car, 50 10
"Sea serpent" lies, with affidavits, thirty
cents each.
Gold winter Of -" (mortises for date
with deposition of the oldest inhabitant,
forty cents.
"Blow snake" 'tioint snake" "hoop
snake, discovery of unknown power that
moves great weights" "man with long
green hair and mineral spring. lies,
twenty cents each. Outrageous fish lies,
three for quarter.
Sensational lies in regard to actors who
didn't think all pretty women were mashed
on them, and men who didn't do better than
that when they were boys, supplied at
special rates on application.-Tom ?. Nor
gan, in Puck.