The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-02-27
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Regular cold timersn-Dutch clocks.
Well watched-A jewelers. window.
A bad ape-An amateurs violin
solo.
schnapp Judgment Deciding bet of
the drinks.
Down in a coal mino-A young miners
first moustache.
When the flakes begin to dance, look
out for SNOWFALL.
Rolling stock-Cattle on board a
steamship in a storm.
The rain Of terror-For a lady with
no umbrella and a new bonnet.
A burglar who was recently prostrated
with lock aw cured him elf by picking
the lock.
\ little girls view Of it: minerva
was the Goddess of Wisdom; she never
married. ~
The clarion notes Of the rooster ii
written, would, no doubt, be divided
by crow bars. Merchant Iraretr.
A parrot will talk on the least provo
cation, but a crow seldom opens its
mouth without caws. .-NeU York World.
You'll write it as sure as fate,
But don't find fault or pine,
But scratch with care the -,
And make it 49,
Merchant Trarrler
We sonnet mes say ''out of sight out of
mind but we do not necessarily imply
that blind man is insaue.--MO York
NtoS.
A.-"The crop of young doctors In
New York is going to be very large this
year" B.-"les, but what will the
harvest be!'-SVtings.
Nature uses great many quilts with
which to make goose, but man can
make goose of himself with only one.
-OretaHt and Gardsn.
John, you are not listening to word
l am saying" "Why, my dear, am all
ears" "l know you are, and that makes
it all the more provoking"
A "deaf mute" church has been dedi. +,
Gated in Philadelphia. A fellow could
snore all through the service and disturb
nobody. -Ddnycite Breeze.
A young man who becomes en-
barrassed when he calls on Il certain
young lady, says she gives him the shake
every time he goes to sec her.
The stores are now crowded no longer.
The saleSgrls get rest and grow stronger,
While prices of gifts have SO dwindled
That some of US feel we've been swinded
-BostOR IlIddet.
A Chicago clergyman who married,s
three couples on the cars the other day
resents the suggestion that he allow
himself to be patented as car coupler.
- CHicago Post.
Miss Parentalstem (age thirty .five)-
$50 you are going to get married at last,
PaulineW Pauline-"l dear, should
think it was about time; you know I'm
twenty four. "-LVe.
"W hat is your fortune, my ancient maidr
My wealth is my fortune, sir, she said
Can l marry you, my pretty maid"
"lf you are as wealthy sir, /" she said.
NeU lort S'B.
Wife-"Shpll l put your diamond
studs in your shirt, dear" Husband
'What on earth are you thinking of ,
Do you want to ruin me! have meet
ing with my creditors this morning.
-Jetseiers' Weekly.
Ethel to her betrothed)-"D learn
to skate, George. I'm sure you would
look lovely on ice." George "a young
and rising undertaken 81 Look lovely
on ice, wo Id II Thank you. No hurry
about it.'-SJtiags.
Youthful Innocence: cone Of you
boys has been stealing raisins again; |
have found the seeds on the floor.
Which one of you was it2" Tommy
at wasn't me. | swallowed the seed in
mine. "-S yaHtoa Truth.
- is marriage Il fai,ure.N he asked of a maid
Who c!un pretty close TO his side:
" I'm sure ] can't tell, SIR the young lady
said
" Until you have made me your bride!n
-NeiC York World
Jewcler-"The inscription you wish
to have engraved on the inside of this
ring, if ] understand you, is Marcellus
to Irene. ! oung Nan with some en-
barrassment-"n es, that's right. But
-er don cut the Irene deep. "-Chi-
rag, Iriba c.
The Professor having given out as
subject IL an essay "The / Sc of Navi-
CATION, To-. 4 the students concluded
his production lith the somewhat novel
statement "And thus we may say:
Il he ship is the camel of the sea. ~
f ,eJeads Barttfr.