Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-05-30
A TRAVELLERS TIPS.
He Gives His Ideas and Impressions
About Chicago.

He Olives His Ideas and Impressions
About Chicago.
1t is the French who say nothing can be
interesting unless it is at least little
wicked.
Shecawgo is a very interesting city. 1t
was laid out crooked by the Pottawattomies,
who later were laid out straight-sent to
pot, as it were. Thus early did the town
discover its magnificent terminal facili-
ties" And its crooked pathsl Why, they
have since been made perfectly straight
on the mapi
1t is evident there was to be considerable
go to Shecawgo. Once it was about gone,
but it started up again as fresh as burnt
out circus-and what new elephants it had !!
Business men who fail to make go of it
elsewhere go to Shecawgo, intending to
succeed from the word go-or bust.
The busts keep ten blonde mercantile
agency typew1ters on the go; and when
New York gets its copy of crooked assets il
says: "Hefe's another pretty go in She
caMgor'
Sill, tAa-c Gro those vino, by strict atten-
ton to their own and St. Louis business,
manage to thrivei
The city fathers predict million inhablt-
ants in two years; in five they expect TO
take in Joliet as an additional ward
And what about Joliet2
Why, Joliet has an additional ward for
Shecawgos Doodle fathers and has taken in
IN installment on the ten-yearpian!
Shecawgo always dresses well. It's calves
md hogs are known to be the best dressed
IN the country. Ask Mr.. Armour.
Every body in Shecawgo belongs to some
club. The one having the largest member
ship is the famous Ananias.
Strangers desiring to see a match or {,
match declared OF take Mr.. Yerkes' cable
20 the baseball or divorce grounds. But
many have their own grounds for divorce
Shecswgo builds on the rapid transit plan.
The proposed new street is first outlined
By elevated plank sidewalks six feet above
prairie level.
The houses are then run up, the front
doors being on q level with the planking,
the digging of cellars being obviated.
When the people have lived on the block
long enough to get the street filled in with
ashes and old shoes they have it finely
paved, arc lights placed and mounted po-
lceman detailed.
Behold the new Boulevard
There may be occasionally a complaint
about the paving, but as general thing
Shecawgo is paved with good intentions.
6hecawgo has a famous river by the
same famous name. 1t is short, bullets
hurry-by any other name its offense would
be as rank.
There was once a storekeeper whose cat
died on his hands. Having no burlalplace,
and bethinking himself of a competitor
whom he hated (and would like to have
killed were it not for the Bible and the po-
lice, he resolved to express to him the re-
mains of poor puss.
Shecawgo, with too vast an accumulation
of dead cat in its river. is to-day legislating
gigantic drainage scheme to provide for
the enlargement to ship size of the connect
ing canal by the Illinois river. AS the
Shecawgo river will by this means be
flushed into the Illinois, which in its turn
flows into the Mississippi Just ABOVE St
Louis, it looks as if st. Louis were the par
ty destined to get the dead cat in underlined,
unlimited auantity.-N. Y. World