Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-12-21
MORE AND LESS AMUSING.
AN early settler-an egg shell.

AN early settler-an egg shell.
SNARE drummer A bogus travelling
man.
WoMAN's rites marriage and chris
tening.
TANK plays are popular for divers
reasons.
\ BosToN authoress has published a
book which she calls My First Loaf
Well bet it's heavy,
If YOU are bent on having an income,
it is incumb bent on you to work hard
and disburse sparinglv.
LOVE of money may be the root of
evil, but Bobby thinks love of mischief
brings forth the branch.
A TAILOR requires many yards to
cover n man, but n burglar will cover
him with a small revolver.
SHE (at the piano)-How do Won en-
JOY this refrain? He-N cry much The
more YOU refrain the better | like it.
THAT electricity was known in carly
biblical times is proved by the fact that
Noah made the ark light on Mount
Ararat.
LAURA-I tell YOU, Emily, l will
never marry man who doesn't love
me! Emily-And | will never love u
man who doesn't marry me.
It's the church bell in the stceple
that to worship calls the people. But
the church belle in the choir is what
We worship when we spy her.
ILLINOIS claims to be the only State
in the Union that is out of debt. This
is healthy condition for State that
is continually and chronically Ill.
THE popular will, says n dispatch
from Honolulu, is strongly in favor Of
annexation to the United States"
Where there's will there's Hawaii.
What was the trouble with
the paper you started up in that health
resort? Smith I ran in a death col
lumn, and the town trustees ran me
out.
INSTRUMENTATION, you must al
ways sweep behind the doors. New
Scrvant-Ye,'m always does. It's
the asiest way of gettin' the durrit out
of sight.
Gimme 10 cents wuff O fesh-culled
court-plastcr, boss. "W hite or black
Look heah, honey, Use gentleman
oh color, an Is aware oh de fac, but
don you go rubin it in"
AMAN of family Prodley-I hear You
have been getting married. Tooker-
Yes. Prodley-Whom did YOU marry ?
Tookcr-Milly Jones, her mother, her
stepfather, and two maiden aunts.
FIRST convict-When my times up
I shall keep on making shoes. Second
convict-And | shall keep on at my old
work, too. First convict-Breaking
stones? Second convict--No; laws.
You are Mr.. Quezeen, the husband
of the celebrated lecturer on cookery,
| are You not?" Yes sir" replied the
detected, hollow-eyed individual; I'm
| the man she tries her new dishes on. :"
WIFE-I should be ashamed of my
self if | couldn't sit through the play
without going out. Husband (who has
| inn roved every entr'acte - | keep
thinking [ hear the fire alarm. my
| dear.
CoLLECToR-Mr Rankin says he
can't be bothered to send me to see YOU
| You every week about that little bill.
Customer-My compliments to Mr.
Rankin, and tell him every other week
| will do Just as well.
Tcacher-How many seasons are
| there? Small Boy-(who was mixing
up personal experience with book
learniugJ-Two. Only two? That's
all there was this ycar-the winter
s. ason and the rainy season.
Mr.. QUAKTEEREsT-They say that
Mrs. Bloodgood is fearfully particular
will keep nothing but trained ser
! wants in the house. Mrs. Parvcnu-
Yes, and have understood she would
wear nothing but trained skirts.
PRETTY SUGGESTION.
| They fingered Mt her fathers door.
The hour WIS shining bright,
And TO the maiden. CT and or,
The Youth hal suid good night.
But still reluctant to depart,
| Her tiny hand he pressed,
| While all the love that filled his heart
| His ardent looks confessed.
| At long;h the mniC!cn FLUSHED and sighed,
Ard said in accents low,
| ~ hope d ar John, you will not try
To kiss me ere you 8).'