Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-11-07
SUM PEOPLE WE KNOW.
New York Weekly.
THE FIKKLE MAN.

New York Weekly
THE FIKKLE MAN.
Of all the two-legged gentry that infest
this earth, thare amt more unpleasant
one to meet or improbable one to know
than the fikkIe man.
To understand him yu hav got to watch
him az cluss az yu would a weather kock,
and az soon az yu hav fairly found out
which way the wind blows with him, it IL
sure to change to sum other quarter
He goes thru life without emmy friends,
and IL as Oneazy all the time az lost dog.
He kant trust himself, nor no one can trust
him, yet he IL oftner apt to be virtewous
than vishious
He don t alwuss lax branes, but alwuss
laks Judgment, and when he decides right
he IL just az apt to be displeased with it
az when he decides wrong,
The fikkle man IL hiz own worst enemy,
for he deceaves himself always, dus not
but long deceave others.
Next to the positively bad man, the tickle
man IL Stunned bi all good people, and he
finds himself wuss oph in this world than a
downright phool
To be always doubtful, and never GER
tain, IL wuss than to be continually wrong;
it IL better to be stubborn than to be moth
ing.
| pity the fikkle man, hiz doubts hav
more real sorrow in them than most men 5
misfortuns hav.
THE vAERAGE MOTHER-IN-LAw
C1Thare IL no female woman now station
ed on the buzzum ov this earth who IL
more anxious to please, and fails oftener
than the oVpr. Crn mot
Her motives are seldom construed right,
and what IL often real good senss and gen
uine kindness IL called sticking her noze
into things
Thare IL no stashun in life more difficult
to phil; it IL harder to be fust klass
motherin-law and do the subject justiss
than it IL to be wife
I would rather De an old maid than to be
mother in-Iaw but don't never e,,.yckt
to be either
l have seen mothers-in-law who were az
bard to get along with az a bunyon; but /
have seen skores Ov them who were az
gentle az the dew on the mountain grass
and az nice tC have in the house, reddy for
use, as a bottle of Spaulding glue
The average mother-in-law haz my SYM
pathy; she also haz mi advise, and it IL
this: don t liv with yulre children until yE
are obliged to.-Josh Billing"
Frederick Douglass White Wife.
Mr.. Douglass is up in the seventies. but
is wonderfully well preserved. says q Wash
ington letter to the Cleveland Leader. You
may see plenty of men twenty years his
junior who seem older than he. He is
in excellent health, hale and vigorous, with,
to all appearances, years of active life be-
fore him, Laying down my pen at this
point for moment, took it up with an
idea of saying that Mr.. Douglass made a
mistake when he married his white wife,
and that she made another, but [ guess on
the whole will not. As they say in con-
gress, Il withdraw the remark" So long
as Mr.. and Mrs. Douglass are satisfied
and | am told that in domestic relations
peace flows as a river-I don t suppose it is
anybody's business. It was a long time
before the colored people here who look
upon Mr.. Douglass as the children of
Israel did upon Moses -forgave him for
not choosing wife, when he wanted a
second. from among the daughters of his
own people. On two occasions, within a
few weeks after the marriage, | heard col
ored orators at public meetings go out Of
their way to score Mr.. Douglass for his
connubial eccentricity. They cried aloud
and spared not. It will be remembered
that he married copyist employed IN his
Office when he was recorder of deeds for the
District of Columbia Nobody, not even
Mr. Douglass own children had the slight
est suspicion of the coming event, and all
Washington held up its hands in surprise