Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-04-12
pEALs OF LAUGHTER.

Savoy IN m;d-air-The North Star.
AFTER all, matrimony is merely con-
fidence game.
ONE of our favorite prima donnas has
q falsetto' teeth. Sifti7ags.
THE hand of Fate has callous palm,
and when it strikes it hurts.
A BROOKLYN beauty who repeats
everything she hears is called "a belle
| telephone"
Women always get the best of every
thing. Even in quarrel they have the
decentralization Gazette.
BECAUSE the eyes are the windows OF
the soul, it doesn't follow that we should
pull down the blind.-Patck.
THERE is more noise to the square
inch in baby's lung than in any other
known substance. Washington Critic.
FruB-He isn't so attentive to her as
lie used to be-. Snub-She's Tilted him,
eh? Flub-No; she married him.
Yankee Blade.
MERCURY may not have been a college
graduate, but he was always efficient in
talking a degree. "-Gle,ls Falls Re-
publican.
A GENTLEMAN may bring himself to
make New York visits in hanson cab;
but the carte de visite is the proper
sort of wagon to go in.
FIRST Shopping Fiend- Madam, that's
my muif! Second Shopping Fiend-
Why, how inexcusably stupid of me to
pick up an imitation monkey skin!
\ New JERSEY man has made
ballot-box which cannot be stuffed.
Now all the country wants is voter
built in the same way.-Tonkers States
nan.
BRowN-And so you managed to fetch
Mrs. Jones around after all, old fellow?
Why, We heard she was on the point of
death. How did you manage it? Jones
Shot her doctor.-Lies.
"a DUMB photographer" eyes"
"And does business?" "Lots of it.. Z"
Suppose he wants to talk-for instance,
say 'Yes?'" ooh, he simply shows two
negatives. "-Chicago Ledger.
Why, how sweet you look
this evening! I'd be almost tempted to
kiss you if it wasn't for disarranging
your bang. Small brother (from be-
hind the sofa)-Take it off, sis.
YOU'VE poet (who, on entering a sane
tlln, suddenly remembers that he has
retained no copy of his effusion)-Do
you return poems - Editor Gem
phatically) - Always. - Philadelphia
Record.
WHEN charming girl marries manly
young fellow that's the kind of match
they make in heaven, but when the
widow re-enters the ring that's differ
ent kind of match-a sort of catch-as-
catch-can affair.
EASTERN young lady Ito Western
young man)-Is not cultivation extend
ing rapidly in the West, Mr.. Breezy?
Mr.. Breezy-O, yes, ma'am; have 200
acres under cultivation, agin about half
that last year.-Epoch.
A VERMONT man has started news
paper at Jamaica, in that State, and
calls it Jamaica Ginger. It will not
help the town much, for we imagine it
will prevent the population from doub-
ling-up.-Y o1ahers Statesman.
F1rzJoNEs you go to the theater
last evening, Percy? De Brown-No;
I attended a sleight-of-land perform
ance. Fitzjones-Where? De Brown
I went to call on Miss LIE Smythe and
offered her my hand, but she sighted
it.
DISAPPOINTED Author-And there is
one person whose manuscript is never
returned, you say? Editor-O, yes.
Would you mind telling me who he
is?" 20, no! He's the fellow who fails
to inclose a stamped and directed envel-
ope. Thine.
New FR1END-Ah, my dear, I'm afraid
it's the same old story. You married in
haste to repent at leisure. Unhappy
bride-No, it was just the other way.
Our engagement was so prolonged that
we grew tired of each other before we
got mar1ied.-Ph5ladelphia Record.
FoND Parent Well, Mr.. Pedagogue.
hope Thomas is improving? Mr.. P
He makes fair advance in his studies.
but I am sorry to say he cribs a good
deal, and his writing, I am panied to
inform you, gets worse every day. F.
P-Thank Heaven he has in him the
making of a great author.
AT prayer-meeting held recently in
q Boston suburb brother" arose, and.
after praising Gods goodness to him.
concluded: "And finally got in debt,
and my debt instead of decreasing in.
creased, and to-day owe 5000. Yet
God has Eapt mo in ,,orfoo& . ~