The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-08-18
ESSAY CAIGH WANTS A COUPLE
To Go Farming With i The Deadly Sixth
Ward Butter and Dead
Loss Recorded.

HUN bllC NdInA Springs W bAO bAS'OAJ ~
from the Sixth Ward bridge to the GENE
terry.
Because, innocent reader, he will no
longer be needed Electricity has sup
planted him and he must seek Job else
where.
Twas not one of the permanent citizens
who sat on hard benches and looked at each
other from opposite sides on Friday even
ing, as they were enjoying free ride from
the railway station to the suburbs of Fort
Douglas; but / stood outside and watched
the cars slide along without any visible
attachment except a young man in front,
to speak to whom was sure to be lingering
sorrow if not eventually painful death.
The electric system is huge success. To
see a car moving along with nothing but
fishing rod sliding on a wire overhead to
move it, is something that would cause the
superstitious to hunt up stimulants, if they
were not on to the scheme; and when the
fire flies from the wheels and the business
above, it is enough to make some of US who
are not so superstitious begin to think of
what may come some time. But 1 digress.
A short time ago, by reason of a gentle
pressure on the part of numerous creditors,
a lot of Arnold cookers We're sold out to
those who would pay anything for them;
but what l am anxious to know is, what is
to become of those Arnold mules2
If l were thoroughly satisfied that the
city election next February would go Lib
oral, would like to have a yoke of those
mules, and l write this article more with
the hope that Arnold willlet me have them
cheap than for any other purpose except the
little check The HERALD will give me when
it is accepted.
What harm have the Liberals ever done
you, or you them (the reader will ask, that
you should want to get away in the event
of their getting there! Well, it isn't a
question of harm; it is a question of ability
to pay certain obligations. For instance,
can't pay more than l am paying for the
house which a kind friend permits me to
occupy out of regard for me and for twenty
scudi per month, and as everything is going
to go up except the mercury in the Their
mometer when cur friends the Philistines
take possession, it naturally follows that l
Will have to be spared here.
think if had brace of those mules.
with the assistance of my growing house
hold, could do first rate on some unfre-
quented patch of real property so far out
side of Zion that not even Lilly Clay's
display of agility, etc, would tempt me to
come in. 1t is very true that as muleist
my experience is somewhat curtailed; but
| have the best of feelings for the
animal. and, as a farmer must have
some kind of team, why not a couple of
the gentle and subdued creatures who, like
myself, are thoroughly broke, and are too
independent to recognize their father and
mother if they should happen to meet
them!
AS above suggested, it is quite likely l
could do well as farmer. 1t being a set
tied fact that everybody can do something
well, certainly ought to lay hold of farm
ing with titanic grip. At least, if the
festive followers of Powers the pure do all
they say they will, it looks like l would
have to try, for behold! they propose to
bring real estate up to the point of real ex-
tortion. Why this should be really don't
know, but suppose it is because they have
some to sell.
always knew that there was consider
able electricity in a mule, as all know who
have ever seen one or more of their hind
feet in action; but this is my first expert
ence in the matter of a mule being
knocked out of his job by cleo
tricity. l once witnessed a large,
-you-please chunk of lightning descend
from Joves' headquarters and smite a
cavalry mule on the off flank Beyond
singing the hair, the errand of the aerial
messenger was without result; but now we
have some which ordinary human beings
make to order, and when it is harnessed to
a car the mules occupation is gone, he is
IN )cked out.
L,
that was a great place for mules before
Hon o. p. Arnold absorbed them for his
street car system, but / have reference to
only one, He belonged to a man named
Christopher Hansen, or Hans Christopher
sen, forget which. AS may be presumed
the gentleman was a Denmarkian, while
the mule was intensely American and could
speak and understand no other language.
1t is one of the peculiaFities of the mule
that, when his dreamy, hypnotic periods
are on him, it requires a certain quantity
of UnitedStat6 slanguage highly punctuated
with certain words which we ignore while
engaged in prayer to make him go, and Hans,
or Christopher, wasn't on at all He had all
the vehemence that was necessary, but
when he found the mule only gazing at him
with a languid expression, after a fusilade of
Morse invective which sounded more like
threshing machine out Of repair than any
thing else, he Hans, or Christopher, pot the
mule) got discouraged and broke right
down Relating his grief to me, he said
~ shwar at dose mule, and he laugh at me;
cuss him till de sun no come up, unit he no
give one dam. De man vat sell him to me
he say-'She'Q pc tie pest mule you skill
have had forever more Tam lie No
good"
This mule could and did eat and devour
anything from green grass up to and inclu-
sive of old clothes, carpet remnants and
widowed leather. He had been pricked
with pitchforks till his hide was a
sieve beaten with clubs till he was one con-
tinuous bruise, and hit with stones till they
no longer had any effect upon him.
His owner was anxious, to get
rid of him, but there was
no chance except by direct
sacrifice, and then all hope Of getting back
even a portion of the original investment
would be gone. But the end must come to
all things and a mules end is no exception
to the rule. One day Mrs. Christopher, or
Hansen, churned, as is the custom among
the frugal people who keep one or more
cows, and when the agitation in the churn
had ceased she thrust in her ample hand
and yanked out the floating surplus. This
being done, she placed it on platter and |
sat it on a bench in the shade of the back
yard, preparatory to working it as an
Ogden or Sanpete statesman does his con-
stituents. But that mule was on deck. He
had had nothing that contained grease for
three days except an empty sardine can
picked up in the hard alley small by Here |
was feast. He approached and partook. |
He eat the butter and the plate on which it |
was placed, and then shook his ears at the |
bench. He was frisky, but not for long. |
That butter was designed exclusively for
the human element in the immediate neigh
borhood, those who were accustomed |
to it by dint of long, trying