davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
a a NEW DISEASE. ~ 81. !

The New York newspapers have dis
covered new disease, in advance of
,he doctors. This disease, which has
not yet been given distinctive name.
may be explained as the effect of official
bribery on the memory. 1t has been
discovered that when an official has
been bribed, not only does his memory
suddenly fail 1bui that of the person
who has bribei him fails at the same
lime. The mental weakness thus caused
RS not only total, 50 far as the recalling
Of Q particular event goes, but is usually
permanent. Persons so affected have
been apdt upon the witness stand, and,
though found to be. in other respects
in possession Of alt. their faculties,
could not recollect anything concerning
the particular incidcntupon which light
wds most desired: Caseso this sort have
multiplied until the disease has bcenrec.
ognized as one by itself and will doubt
less soon be classified si
What particular form Of treatment is
best adapted to the disease here referred
toisyet indisputc. but there Il something
like a consensus Of opinion thai II should
at leastbe iallopaihic, Large doses and
heroic treatment generally Is whaeisrec-
omnended. Solitary Confinement of the
patient for anextcndedy length of time i
one OF tho essentials J. ( Did -fashionea
r-I- - !.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
A Novel Expericnce.

Many of the members of the Anderson
Company had novel experience, in Wash
ington, says the american correspondent.
AS has been recorded in history: the hotels
in that city were packed to overfowihg
during Inauguration week. Mr. Henry f.
Abbey, Knowing that many of tho company
would he unable to get rooms, and that IL
they did get them the prices would be
something enormous, rented lot of Gotta
They were placed IN the .aisles Of the the
atre, and on Monday and Tuesday nights
the theatre looked like big hospital. The
men slept In the aislcs in the front Of the
theatre, and the women were placed in
another part Of the house. They were not
luxurious quarters, but they were fine COM
pared with'what thousands had to be con.
tented with at that time
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
a Sow st,Ie of Motor.

Here is an Interesting item. from the
Electrical lI'oHd@An iron draw at Bridge
port, weighing 900 tons, attached to the
new bridge oyq the PeqpQnnock River
recently built BY Dean ,SGAYestbrook OF
New York, wilt be turned by electricity,
and is. believed TO be the first Of the kind
IN the country% To move the draw in the
ordinary way yequircs tho muscle Of from
two TO live men, according TO circumstance
and as II must be opened nm average Of
twenty times tfaily throughont the yeai' the
labor Is great as Well as expensive. The
city authorities, with view. to lessen both,
have introduced an electric motor Of seven
and Il half horse pow6r,r the force being
transmitted from the Bridgeport electric
light plant, half mile away. This motor
makes 600 revolutions each minute, and
by the use OF gearing the number Is reduced,
producing q power both steady aud sure.
The motor may be reversed so as TO turn
the draw either way.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
CRITICULAR.


DIsILLUsIoNEp.
One week in office, and find,
Without q note or map,
Whatever public Office Is,
1t surely is no snap.
My hand Is sore, my arm is lame,
cannot be q snob, ~ ~;
And though I've shaken everything
cannot shake the job. ~ ,
Ten million people want place,
Ten million urge them on,
Ten million back the others up,
And | must pay the pawn.
am but one against the lot
OF all these outs and FMS,
II would be betterby half
II had been born twins. D..
But those by whom came to earth
Knew not Of this m!shap- - d
Gadzooks I'll be President ,.
ptOr'bust .britchin strap ~, s-- z
--LFrom Poems Of the Soul, by b. Harrison.
No, Harry, the borrowing season aud the
Lenten season are-not synonymous. Try
somewhere else.
- -l'i@ --,f
Adams second son was the first Abel
bodied man on record.s'-
us s - - - .''a 81
Claiming his writes @thc poet who asks
for his rejected manuscript. ~
Managing Editor: think we can stant
another minion editorial .'tt
Writing Editor: What, mnion yet? Well
III write you daisy. r's i9,A
Managing Editor (faintly); No bouquets
please. -
10 s''i.' f-1 3.
Mr. Washburn has been appointed Min
. lister to Switzerland. -
If any aching yeid there he
In any Office IL; afl a
Some Washburn always may be found
TOLL It. ~ ,-}f
Mona Card was TIE first 10 ask, Ills Mar
riage failureS' but 1t ID not believed nov
that Mona Card continental whether |
was or not.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
A PRIZE CONUNDRUM CONTEST.

The New York Erening World recently
offered o prize for the best collection of
original conundrums, to be sent in within q
given time The result was most interest
ing. THE CRITIC, as announced in yester-
days issue, is inclined to try the same cx-
pertinent In Washington, and a nrlzc Of -
will accordingly be given for the best lo'
Of original eonundrums with their answers
Equality to be considered above quantity
sent to this Office before April 1, The
award will be made by Mr.. w J. hampton
Of THE Critic editorial staff The prize
offered Is insignificant, but the contest will
hc at least curious; and It is hoped Tns
Carries readers viii enter into It heartily
for the amusement It will afford. "a q
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
THE COMMERCIAL CONGRESS-.
The BODY that Will Meet Here In Ncx
~" Octoher

October. F.
President Harrison will probably soon
appoint ten delegates to. the Commercial
Congress to convene in Washington Octo-'
ber 9, of this year, at which representatives
from the republics Of Mexico, Central and
South America, Hayti, San Domingo AMI
the Empire. of Brazil have been invited to
be present This congress was provided for
by the act OF Congress OF May "a, 1888, but
the commissioners were not appointed by
President Cleveland because their servioe
would be- performed under the Administra-
tion of -his successor, and II was thought
best that he should select them. srs !
The conference Is to consider measures TO
preserve the peace and promote the pros
perity of the several American States, the
formation. of an American customs ppion,
the establishment Of regular and frequent
communication between the ports OF the
several States, the adoption Of d uniform
system of weights and measures and fnter-
national patent and copyright laws the
adoption OF q common silver coin, and an
agreement upon and recommendation Tor
adoption to their respective gOvernnients OF
definite plan of arbitration Of sll Ques-
tions. disputes or differences, to the end
that they may bc peaessbly settled and wars
Secretary Blaine willie Secretary of State
under President Garfeil, had arranged for
similar conference, aud though most of
| tations, Secretary Erclinghpysen, who sue
ccedcd TO the State Department on the
| death Of President Garfield revoked the in
! vitations. Mr.. Blaine will now have al
opportunity to carry out theiprolcct which
1 he set on foot SO long ago. o
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
A LOAD or HAY.


a load OF hay in the crowded street,
A whiif of the scent OF clover, ,,,
A change Of thopght-yague-incompl
A living Young life over.
A dayiu August and the clouds of white,
"A shifting of.light and shadow,
The hum Of 'beesa and the rnarten's flight,
THE meadow llarks and the meadow.
Strong armso OF men aud the yellow: green 7
or the ssathes, the steady swinging !
Of formsof' laborers, STRONG and lean,
The scythes with theft steely ringing,
aHs7N @-.aa y, - o.
The roar Of trade and the newsboys' call /
I And the dream q. a moments over
Twas a brain-wayecamc through the nose
~ and all ".1.Es.
From Whit of the scent Of cloyer
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
Imnor,ant RaIIw.v, Confcrence.

There will be an important railroad con
ference in this city next Saturday. Each of
the railroad concerns comprising the Trunk
Lire Association have been notified to send
representative to appear before the Inter
State Commerce Commission at 10 o'clock
q. M, for the purpose OF showing what
tlcir export rates. are and how they are
decided upon. This Is In compliance with
the provisions of the act oflSS7 as amended
on the second instant. An ordcr has also
been issued by the commission to the Of
feet that all tariffs shall be published in
plain type on large posters aud hung In at
least two conspicuous. places in every
depot, station and Office; for the, informa-
nion Of the public. This must be done ten
vance or reduction. ~ isf
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
Solid Truth from. Gotham.
CThe New York starr

o. tlhc New YORK StafD
As great spectacle, the parade was
failure. There have been several political
professions in New York which had as
many men in line us there were here last
week and in which the participating organi-
cations showed mucIi more variety of uni
forms and maneuyers than those at the
Capital The Inaugural parade was an un-
interesting, depressing affair to watch be-
cause Of the great number of. militia who
led tbe line, Few OF the regiments had
bandss they wero nearly all dressed alike,
and the spectators could hardly distinguish
them sparts There .was, not oven good
marching to int crest the lookers-on.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

General Sherman is a first nighter, and
usually sits in an aisle seat or pioscenium
box, saysthe New York San. A peculiarly
Of the Generals is that he seems to forget
that any one besides himself is in the thea
tire. He talks to his companion about the
performers on the stage without regard to
his surroundings. The other night at one
Of the fashionable houses he broke In upon
silent bit Of stage action which was being
worked out by young actress with the
ectress''e Everybody near him stared and
then laughed. tIhe General did not appear
to bo aware he had been heard. He set
tied back into his big collar with All excla-
nation Of contentment, AT that theatre,
where everybody Knows the old warrior,
his rnrnbling Interruptions are accepted
good naturedly. 49, 80 y,
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
Mhat rhey WIN Tnke.

No member of President Harrson's Cabl-
net Is total abstainer, though Wanamaker
publicly frowns upon intoxicants, Nj.
Harrison likes swallow Of Irish whisky
now aud then. Blaine is a condoisseurs sof
French wines; Window enjoys u dinner'at
which each course has its appropriate stim
ulant Tracy is fopdl of q pint Of champagne
at lunch; Noble likes malt drinks and hi
dulges everyday IN n hottie of imported
ale; Miller seldom takes anything bat rye
and seltzer, while Rusk swallows his. cora
juice plain. Elijah Halford has never
tasted whisky, but has sippeds champagne
now and then on couyivlal occasions, Y,
Y World
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
dan" Lamont Begins business.

New names were painted yesterday on a
suite of doors of Offices on the fourth door OF
the Mills Building. The names are one
above the otier in this order: w. G. Whit
ney, o. II. Payne and Daniel 8. Lamont.
ES-Secretary Whitney and his millionaire
brotherin-law, Oliver ii. Payne. and Colo
mel Lamont occupied this Office for the first
time yesterday. The suite Of offices con
sists Of four rooms and are handsomely
furnished.
"Yes," said Colonel Lamont last night,
II have begun work again, There is little
OF interest to tell about It. :. You know that
+ Secretary Whitney and Mr.. Payne have been
I interested for some; time in several street
railroads. WcllStheys have simply taken
me in with theff, and I am going to see
what ! can dot help them.,-[N. Y.
Herald
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
erhe orltIe,.n conandrum.
a. Washington Postl

- Washington Post)
RespectfullyT but firmly, we call the at
tentionof the District Commissioners TO the
fact that TuE. .EyEslSG GpIglc. has adyer.
iised for conundrums and IS preparing to
'unload upon this already torniented com
muplty The result Of itsf didbolleal enter
Prise, we don't know THAT there is any
thing in the statutes to warrant tho Com
missioners in taking measures TO abate this
sort OF thing, but we feel sure that the
ConstItutionwould ledtlmize sieh inter.
ference before the people are compelled to
put on white caps and take the law into
their own hands
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
! rlie Chnngee in Cards

"1 = y tScw York World ~ a.
For the first time since her. marriage Mrs,
Cleyeland's card bears the name SMrs,
Grovefl Cleveland. I, ofilcial etiquette re-
quircs that the wife. Of. the Chief Magis
trate ahall have her cards engraved in the
simplest manner l"NTrs, Cleveland lor
'Mrs. Harrison" as the case may be, The
Presidents card bears only the inscription,
"The Ptesident.''- For the Cabinet the
cards are, engaved;f 1.-THE Secretary Of
state" "The Secretary OF the Navy aud
so on, the wife In each instance having a
card on which the pretty "Mrs. is not fol-
lowed by the husband's given name.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
A Tough watch story,

onhis last birthday, mouth or two ago,
youngstern knlckerbockers, who lives
In the East End, received from his father a
silver watch, the price OF which,, st is safe
10 say, did not exceed Sl5.' II will not sur
prise you TO bear that the boy took the
watch 10 pieces after II had burned IN his
pocket but three days. When every wheel
lay in his hand the hoy naturally fell to
thinking how he might put the watch In
running order again lie must be something
OF mechanical genius, for he succeeded In
getting the dismembcred works inside tho
case in some SORT OF shape. II is hardly u
reflection on the boy's skill eitherthat after
the mechanism was put together II failed
TO respond to the winding stem. But the
boy perseyered. lie detected the root Of the
trouble in the balanco-wheel, which seemed
to interfere with other parts of the setting
So at the balance-wheol be tinkcred until
10 his unfeIgned astonishment, after he
had lacked up the wheel with II bandage of
cotton thread, the watch began to tick
again. Piltsburg Dispatch.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
Marshal of the District.

The commission 'ol. United States Marshal
Wilson OF the District of Columbia will
not terminate until nextJanuary. Marshal
Wilson has had pleasant interviews with
both tho President and tho Attorney
General, and, while quito readysto sur
render his commission when desired, has
received no lntlmation TO that effect. That
he has made q model officer in q very .diill-
cult position, 10 the universal testimony of
men OF all parties. There are several very
worthy gentlemen OF Washington who ara
applicants for this place, but, among those
who are well informed, the impression il
that, when the President is ready to I'LL it,
-LBAlIlmOre Sun.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

Notwithstanding the great pressure on
President Harrison, 1t can be safely as
serted that he is not going to make changes
In the Offices simply to please his political
friends. A story comes to THE CRITIC;
fully authenticated, which indicates the
drift Of the Presidents policy. Since the
election quite q brisk fight has been carried
on for the Richmond postmastcrship be
tween the Malone and Wise factions in
Virginia Both sides have had delegations
aty work, laboring with the President
When the Wise men from the South called
General Harrison knocked them into n
cocked-hat by remarking, "Is the Office
vacNntr' 'No, believe not. But, said
one of the delegation, as soon ps he recov-
cred his breath, ''it was expected that you
would not wait for a yacahcy.", "f,ut
shall, y returned the President. "The term
Of the incumbent. doesn't expire under
stand, within eighteen months. Come
around then and you shall have the place"
The Yirginians were so divided between
dismay over the decision of the President
not to make a vacancy and their delight at
having downed the Malone party that they
could pursue their entreaties no further
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

Bishop j p. Newman was rendered re-
ception Thursday BY the Methodist clergy
men Of Buffalo, n. r., at the Til House.
To several Of his friends he said; "GroVei
Cleveland has been the hardest working
man we ever had In the White House, aud
he has left everything cleaned up. Ills
hlupders have been blunders against hlm
self. He must be SET down as one OF oul
hest Presidents
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
A Bnoyant View.


(st, Louis Globeliemocratl
Secretary Noble is the only member Of
the Cabinet whose State gave a Democratic
majority at the last election; but before the
expiration OF his term he win be able to
boast that he halls from State which eau
be counted upon for Republican majority
of AT least 10000
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
The Ex- Cabinet to Go On a Jaunt.

Tho leading members of the late Admin
istration are going on little iaunt to Cuba
next week, it is said. The party, as at
present made up, will include ex-President
Cleveland, ex-Seeretarlos Villas and Fair
child, Don NJ, Dickinson and probably ex-
Secretary Bayard They We're TO have
started to-day, but owing to the fact that
Mr.. Bayard and another member of the
party We're unable TO getaway, the start i5
present plahof the party is for a stay 'of
three weeks, though 1t Is possible they may
return sooner. There will be no ladies in
the party. They Will 90 by way Of Tampa,
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

Society IN Kansas Is all broken up be-
cause Miss Kitty Everest, daughter of n
wealthy and leading lawyer, has made a
runaway match with drummer from Bos-
ton. ller father had known of the drum
mer's attentions, aud some time ago ho
took his daughter on an extended European
trip, and offered her one hundred thousand
dollars IN cash II SHE Would give mp the
drummer. But the girl declared that not
one million dollars would tempt her 70 do
so, OF would prevent her from marrying
the man OF her choice. Then the father
forbade the drummer to enter the house,
but the young people contrlyed to see each
other, and the result was the marriage.
Look at TnE Carries pi{se c0ault1iyum pfOpo-
alllnn La nnnlhar cllnnln I'm for NE nrLfa.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
ooNnrNsrp nLuE nooK.

Persons wishing positions under the iIar-
rlson Administration can find full list OF
the Government oiilces and salaries IN the
double-sheet Garlic for sale at the business
oiilee at two cents per copy@
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
Senator neck and Chamberiln.

John .Chamberln, the famous Washing
ton boniface, credits himself with Senator
Bock's return to good health. Beck thought
that he had heart disease, and his physi-
clans were inclined to agree with him
Chambcrlin, NJ. d., however, was con
WINGED that dyspepsia was the cause OF the
Kentuckian's ill-lealth, and he advised him
cordial-after dinner each day. 1'ie trent
nent has proved beneficial aud Senator
Beck Is ON the high road to a full recovery.
lie has been shooting IN the South and has
totally abandoned his ideat that his heart
was affected lie Is now In Washington. -
New York world. !.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
General Butler's Ready wit.

p The editor heard the other day story Of
General b. f. Butler which is not wholly
bad. In aeertain casetin court which he
was conducting the General took OCCASION
to read a statute bearing on the. question
at ISSUE and somewhat toliously ldbored
through its long and lcgally-involyed
phrases.
The Judge let him go through with ii,
and then bent forward 20 ask;
"Are you not aware that that statute has
been repealedI
HOh, certainly was the cool answer
"but have read the old law and tho new,
and find that like the old much bettor, v
The perfect nonchalanec OF the reply was
certainly emInentiy Characteristic .-- Boston
Courier. =
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

CHAMBERLIN--At the residence OF his
brothornylaw, NJ q, Bennett, In this city,
Monday, the llth instant, at 1880 y. m. Her
bert D., eldest son Of, Thomas o. and Demis
A. chamberlm OF Virginia.
lnterment AZ Manassas, Va, Wednesday
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

1t is becoming pretty evident that, a, 0
certain period in life, woman is thcoqual' Of
man in what is logical. Tho question to be
settled between dcbatcrs on this subject
row is: Does woman continue to grow on
the saIne limos as manY
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

TRE GIRLS OF Cornell University have
won half the scholarships OF the year, being
pariicularly successful IN the departments
Of mathcmatics, architecture aud botany
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

ouR ESTEEMED Mississippi con
temporary, the St Louis Giobc. Dcmosrot
IL caustic. II says;
Jeff Davis no longer enjoys the dis
tinotion Of being the only living Democratic
cX.Prcsident. There are two Of them now.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
The National Topographic Company.

AT an adjourned meeting Of the stock
holders of the National Topographic Com
pany, held in New York yesterday, the fol-
lowing named gentlemen We're elected
directors for the ensuing year; L. G.. IIine,
Whitelaw Reid, William Henry Smith, f..
Kurtz Johnson, William ii. Rand, s. NJ.
Bryan, W. N. llaldeman, Andrew Deyine,
stephen B. Elkins. The board thereupon
organized and elected the following OIL
Gers; l.. G.. Hine, president nc. 'Kurtz John,
son, treasurer, and William Henry Smith,
secretary.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

Bismarck Dot spy is no goot, dis
charge him,
The Emperor--Vat he dos
''1le do nothing; he Won lazy feller
zent him 10 dot American States 10 spy ont
dere forts, und he come back und zay he
not Wind any,
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

THE idiots who contend that II Is nnlig-
nifed for an ex-PreSident OF the United
States TO work are now>blooning out with
comments upon Mr. Cleyeland's assump-
lion Of private Office in New York. The
fooi-kller should get around and attend to
hlh hnainess.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
An Eventrui Life

Mrs, NJ. Il, Dow, the street car magnate
of Dover, N, H., has had an eyentful life,
She is now living with her second husband,
While girl she helped her father manage
his farm and circumstances, aided by nat
ural ability, have since made her good
business woman. She Is also q skilled
housewife and iudieious mother 0 good
aud the possessor Of property worth $500
000.
HEuRoH's bottled Maexern beer, Tele-
phone call, 634-3.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12
DIED.

IIEuRIon's bottled Maczern beer, Tele
phone call, 634-3. 5-
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

THE FULLEST. investigation should he
made into the causes which led to the dc
eertion Of the marine, Charles $, Mcln-
tyre, and his suicide in police station yes
tprdaV ''H' '
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

A CANDIDATE for United States Senator
from Dakota having asked President Har-
ison to appoint man to office not resi-
dent Of the Territory, the President re-
'plied; ~ am for home rule, and no onewill
beSppointed by me to a Territorial office
who n not resident of the Territory
The PrHeident should keep this before him
until he lSAmade all the District appoint
ments, whlehN'are in effect Territorial ap-
pOintments.
The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-03-12

TnB stareye@ Goddess of Reform has
ustrnek alobN Of lnnoenous desnetnde. l