St. Landry democrat., 1889-10-19
Uncle lakes Lecture.

"Mother does make such fuss about my
using few slang words. | do wish she
were not SO particular"
''Don't yo' say dat, honey" said Uncle
Jake who was working in the garden near
by; yo' all dunno how bad dem wuds
souns outen SIGH young moufs."
80, don't you begin to lecture me, too,
Uncle Jake. I'm just worn out listening
to sermons"
ono, no, chile, dis more ole sinnah amt
gwine to lecter. Is just gwine to glib yo'
all bokay oh purity flowers; dar, amt
dat shore huff lubly?" he asked, as he
handed her bunch of flowers he had just
gathered.
"Thauk you, uncle; how pretty but
why-what does smell so horribly? You've
made a mistake and picked a stalk of
stramonum there, I'll throw it away and
the bouquet will be too utterly lovely"
dat weed what you just throwed away
am heap purifier fur to look at dan some
udder posies"
ooh, don't think it bit pretty, it has
such a dreadful odor."
Miss Mary, honey, dat am zactly de
case wild them slang wuds what mlstls
don't like; de idees OBJ yore mine, dey
grows an grows in de garden OBJ yore brain,
ter speak, and tole what all yo' bin
a'tinkin' bout, why den directly desc yere
idees dey bars de sweet blossoms OBJ wuds,
an den yore frens Tub ter pic de blossoms
ter put in de big vase of dere mem'ry wild
de watah oh lub fur ter keep dem fresh.
DUE yo' sire desc we're fr'en's ter preserve
de bad smellin weeds oh slang long OBJ de
purity flowers dat yore mine done bar :?
Why, it don't take right shmart OBJ SIGH
like weeds ter ruin hull bokay, jes' one
shore huff ill-smellin' weed am plenty.
Nudder ting, honey. you mus 'cuse me
fur sayin', eff dem fr'en's lub yo' deY' s
gwine ter frow way de hull bokay, dat am
ter furgit ebberyt'ing you done tole DEM
les fur fear OBJ sabin' up de leastes one OBJ
dem weeds, an bym bve dey'll d'scuver dat
de onlyest way ter do dat ar am ter glib
yo' up 'ntirely so'st dey nebber heah envy
ting wat yo' hab ter say. Dat ar'll be
drefful day, Miss Mary, chile"
eyes, Uncle Jake, that would be dread
full vet language seems so tame unless you
use little slang, just to liven it up, you
know slang is like spice it gives flavor
to conversation.
sHit am ole Sat'ns spice, honey, fur
Marster Jesus he done tole us ter hab our
cow rsashun yea, nay jes' Cot an muffin
sides, case ebberyt'ing else Gums OBJ evil,
dat am ter say de ebil one hisse'f. Eff 20 s
gwine ter please de good Lawd Miss Mary
yo am boun' ter Leah outen yore bokay OBJ
talk dem ugly weeds dey call slang. wa
vo' done call spice, less yo' wants ter
ruinate yo'se'f bof fur dis yere wurl an
dat which am ter come. An OATS de trut,
honey, shores yore bawn.' -
Mary carried very sober face away
from Uncle Jake's homely lecture, and for
some weeks after she kept stramonium
blossom in the house where she could see
and smell it.
"That is to remind me-" she said to her
mother, $50 that l can the easier break
myself of the habit of using slang"
You need Gods help, my child.
He alone can give you the needed strength
for so great an undertaking; no chains are
equal in strength to those with which
bad haba binds one. Pray earnestly, con
stantly for help, and be assured yes will
receive it"
When in later years Mary became noted
for the purity of language and elegance
with which she conversed, she would
say:
II owe it all to Gods blessing on good
old Uncle Jake's lecture on slang. "-1he
WeU-Sprang.