Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1889-09-11
MIR. AND MRS. .BOWSER.

MIR. AND MRS. .BOWSER.
BowsER GOES TO THE PARK FOR QUIET
OUTING, BUT GETS ROUGHLY HANDLED.
81 think we'll go up to the park to-mor
row." said Mr.. Bowser the other Saturday
evening as he finished his cigar.
"But won't it be dreadful crowded?' l
queried.
s'There you gol You are always ready
to oppose anything l suggest"
II am not opposing you, only you know
that the boats are always crowded on Sun
day, and that one is apt to meet with many
lawless characters. l have heard you say
that the place was in possession of mob
all day Sunday"
''Neverl On the contrary l have always
boasted how orderly it was. | guarantee
that you can go up there alone and stay all
day and you will be treated like queen"
"Well, if you think we had best go,
why''-
tOf course do. l think little trip on
the water will do US all good, and at the
island we will seek some sylvan retreat and
enjoy the beauties of the surroundings"
''And you-you won't get mad?"
Mrs. Bowser, what do you mean?"
eff things do not go right you won't
scold and blame everything to me-"
"Have you gone mad? When did l ever
blame you? If you suspect that you are
getting softening of the brain, let me know
and I'll have medical examination"
After dinner next day we made a start.
l think Mr.. Bowser started with the firm
determination to keep his good nature at
every hazard, but something occurred al
most Immediately to upset him. The
street car was ,iamb full and running over,
but it stopped and we wedged our way
in.
In the squeez some one stepped on Mr..
Bowser's corn, some one else knocked his
plug hat off, and third person was heard
to remark that if he weighed a ton he
would charter special car when he
wanted to ride. This put Mr.. Bowser in
train to say to the conductor:
"Does the manager of this line think we
are lot of hogs that we can be packed in
an old car this way?"
"Don't know, SIR"
Then you'd better find out. It's an in
suit on decent people, and for one don't
propose to submit to it,"
'Thaz rize, ole fel'r," shouted half
drunken man from the front of the car.
go in, old bay window" added a
second.
"Ten to one on old Bowser," yelled a
man from the rear platform.
We finally got down to the boat. 1t was
black with humanity and didn't want to
go, but Mr.. Bowser elbowed people right
and left and | followed. After being
crowded, pushed, damned, squeezed and
knocked about for ten minutes got chair
which drunken man had just fallen off,
and Mr.. Bowser found standing-room
beside me.
81 told you ! thought the boats would
be crowded." l remarked as soon as l
could get my breath.
"Well, that shows all you know about it.
There's no crowd on this boat. She could
carry as many again.
"But what a rough set of peoplep'
''No rougher than we are. You simply
want to find fault and make me uncomfort-
able"
In getting off the boat at the island some
one stepped on my dress skirt and nearly
tore it off, while Mr. Bowser's hat was
crushed down over his eyes and some one
picked his cigar case out of his coat tail
pocket. We finally got out of the crowd
and wandered away until we reached a
shady spot, and then it did seem as if we
might take some comfort. I began to ex-
press my sympathy for Mr.. Bowser, when
he turned on me with:
"When l want to be condoled with I'll
let you know. Thus far we have had a
real good time, and I don't want to hear
any more kicking about it."
This is the sylvan retreat you spoke of
SUPPOSE" REMARKED as looked around
and saw cigar stubs, playing cards, pref.
zels, beer bottle corks and rusty old cork
screw lying on the grass.
He didn't say. He was going to, when
couple of young men came that way and
stopped and asked Mr.. Bowser for match
to light their clay pipes. He didn't have
any, and one of them sad:
"Wel, you needn't be SO crusty about it.
We are just as good as you are"
"And blamed sight better, Jim," adj
ded the other.
Mr.. Bowser jumped up, but both Of
them piled on to him and 1 screamed and
ought assistance. They split his coat ur
the back, tore his collar off and tore three
buttons off his vest, and as they went away
they threatened 20 come back and finish
him off.
''Mr. Bowser' 1 said after the crowd
had started, ''hadn't we better go home?''
emo, ma'a1n, we hadn't! came up here
to enjoy myself and Pm bound to do 500
l coaxed and argued, but he was obsti-
nate, and pretty soon something else hap
pened. A gang of five or six men came
along, ripe for mischief, and one of them
halted before Mr.. Bowser and inquired:
"Shay, ole fel, lost dollar here about
en- hour ago, and you picked it up?"
"You are mistaken, sir.''
''Course he did" put in second tough,
''and he's got to give it up!'
81 haven't seen anything of your dol
larr' boldly replied Mr.. Bowser, and the
gang was making threats when I ran for
help.
Before got back they had rolled Mr..
Bowser on the grass, taken all his change
away, and cuffed him about until he pre-
scented sad sight. Then the policeman
who had come too late advised him:
'Say, old man, you'd better go home
You've had five or six rows within an hour,
and shall have to run you in if you don't
leave. You are evidently a desperate
character"
: Mr.. Bowser beckoned to me and led the
way to the boat. On the way down he
was pointed out as Sullivan and Kilrain,
and everybody had gibe at him. At the
wharf he hired hack to take us home and
not one word would he speak to me all the
way up. When we finally got into the
house he locked the door of the sitting
room and sat down in front of me and
said:
''BTrs. Bowser, look at mer'
Eyes, it's awful! was afraid it would
turn out this way"
"Aud yet nothing would do but you
must go!''
"Why, didn't want to go one step!''
''Take care! You are to blame for this
whole business! I have borne and borne,
but the worm has finally turned at last
Make out list of what furniture you want
to keep and let US settle on the amount of
alimony''
We didn't settle. however. He felt
bet er next day, and l don't think he will
refer TO the matter again unless bring it
up.-DefroH Free Press.