Morning journal and courier., 1889-07-31
sUPPOSITION,

She-What does Chinaman call his sweetheart, wonder?
 He--"Dovsy," suppose. You know they speak pigeon English.-New York Sun.
 Rev. MT. Primrose the dumb ani- malls teach us lesson.
 Merritt-Yes. yentured too near a mule the other day, and he taught me lesson I'll never forgst.-New York Evening Sun.
 Black Became Her-Conseler (to newly made widow)-"You won't have to go into mourning, you know. Some very stilish pso- can't wear black almost wish John hadn't died. ."-Time.
 Prominent citizsn-Say, what made you use my name in that interviews
 Reporter (experienoed)-Why, you told me so emphatically and repeatedly that you didn't want it used, thought of course you did.-Lawreuee American.
 Anxious mother-"I am so worried about my boy. He is on the street the whole time, rain or shine. should think he might sit down and read occasionally ,as his sisters do. :" Old friead-"Tell him reading is bad for his health. ."-New York Weekly.
 Oftensr Than the Batter Does.-"We are looking for clock to present to our batter" ]" said member of base ball club to New York jeweler. "This will suit you, then" said the jeweler, indicating timepiece; eft strikes every quarter of an hour."-Time. Persons who may contemplate investments in real estate should bear in mind that the dervishss in Egypt assert that they will con- quer the world. Should this threat be car- ried out it would be well to have one's prop- erty in easily portable form. Detroit Free Press.
 Edith-"No, Herbert, I can never be your l a sister to me; so many girls have said that. :" | Edith-"I wasn't going to say that I was going to say that I shall be delighted to be your aunt. I accepted your uncle George last l night. ."-Once Week.
 An Iowa justice of the peace refused to ! fine man for kissing an Omaha girl against l her will until the young lady was produced ! in court One look was sufficient. He promptly fined the offender $50 and sent him ! up for six months. He said man who would break statute for the privilege of kissing such homely girl as that deserved the full extent of the law.-Epocn.
 Mrs. Latewedde-"What is in this black bottle, mammal Mamma-"Thata Oh, that's whisky. got it to put on sgrain; ;. 2 smells just exactly like the stuff that the barber puts on Henry's mustache some. times" Mamma-'Did you ever see him put 1t ons" Mrs. Latewedds-"No.o, but \ eAne ID WA0t AA0uAy sSAAb Aos -4cKI0 haUee
 Express.
 "Ssy, dootor," he remarked, strolling into
 the office, "what do you suppose is the mat.
 ter with met" "What are your symptomss
 asked the N. D. 'Well, have a great ten
 denoy to sit still, and let my wife hustle
 around the house. Again, in winter, I don'
 seem to feel like getting up and making the
 fire" sYou have bad attack of inertia,
 said the doctor, ''superinduced by live
 trouble. .sYou must be very careful" "Ther
 it ain't lazinsssf' "Of course not" "B.
 George, then hope 1t will last. ."-Exchange
 'fTalking about fees reminds me of bill , 1 that Jacobs, Hall McAllister's clerk, one took to a client" said Attorney Young. q was in Halls office In those days, and was a my desk when Jacobs came in with check l ! saying: 'Mr. - paid his bill, and said h l | thought the charge very reasonable. ; , Thought it reasonable, eh4' snapped Hal "Who made out the bill?' ''I did," replie :. Jacobs. "Don't let 1t occur again." VI . Halls remark, as he pocketed the check an . went into bis private room.-San Franclse | Exanninar