The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-02-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A course of sprouts-Celery.
A plain man-The ranchero.
Maid to order-A servant girl
Words in season-Sea and SOD
A beastly show-The menagerie.
A slow match-Four years of court
ship.
A middleman must be center in
trade circles.
All the pawnshop patrons wants is to
be let loan. .-LLtet NtH.
1t is claimed by old hunters that a
rabbit trail is merely hair line.
MARI. statues are noted for th6lPl
stony expression. -Pt'tsJTg Chronicle.
'"While you are around this way drop
in," says the weighing machine to the
nickel.
Senator Edmunds believes in bringing
the French domination at Colon to full
STOP. Boston Post.
Patient-"WhOt is the best position
in which to sleep" Doctor-'l usually
lie down. "-Bostoq Courier.
We pity the Waterbury Watcf-Com- /.
pany if it ever has TO wind up its busfr
ness. harrington Free Press.
Only in the case of tavern can a coat
of paint on the outside be also on the
inn side BiHghdm'oa HepujticaR.
The poet who says he wove fancies
eight as zephyr's play" probably used
an acknowledgement RepuHican.
1t is one of the peculiarities of things
in general that the freshest men gener-
ally tell the stalest stories-BaHgOr Com
nierciaL.
"Never allow yourself to get out of
anything" says writer in q household
journal. How about debt9-BaHHg'oH on
Free Pres.
Many men who gloomily ask: SIS life
worth livingl" will not eat hot biscuits
through fear of injuring their health
AtchHOH GlOJe
A German has discovered a process for
converting cucumbers into sponges The
doctors are camping on his trail-Buy-
Hagtoa Fr IS Press. -
The man who thinks he can heave in a
few toddies, and 20 home and deceive
his wife into an idea that he is quite
sober, is worse fooled than he thinks she
is. MinaU.ss joUraR.
Jake-"NIr. Slowpa wants to know if
you'll open running account with him.
l.ealcr "No; tell him Pm afraid we'd
have too much running to do before we'd
collect it, Detroit bree Pes.
II say, Jones, that was a shabby trick
you played me about those trousers"
"What's the matter; didn't they reach
YOU all O. X. (" Nav; they came G..
o. ID. drat 'cm. Detroit JourHa.
Time, ll:15 T.. NJ She -"NIr. Tire.
sum, what is your favorite exercise"
lie elenthusiastically)--"Walking. She
81 am glad to know it. | was afraid
you had forgotten how. bur mgtoa
Free Pre- s.
Jinkius at the opera whats that"
De Music -"Ihe score" Jinkins-
"Hello Didn't know score could be
kept on a game like this. Which side is
ahead tile tddlers or the singersp -
PhHaicp tt Recori.
Miss Bruce (who has heard that her
friend Miss reerlng has had falling
out with Mr.. Eowney) /
thought, Eugenia, that you and Dick
were solid Miss Heering iclyl-"Oh,
dear, no-only plated. - The Cag,33a.
At the concert-"Do you call that
music2 Nobody can tell what they are
playing" Waitress III you please, sir.
the players have had a quarrel TO day, SO
You see they are quite angry with each
other still, and every one is playing what
he chooses
Mrs. Llilkins time midujghD- D-"Hor-
rors! Husband HUSBAND | hear some
one burrowing through the wall. Mr.
Blilkins Well, well Ii must be that
book agent. l knew we'd all be in bed
by IL clock, and told him 10 call az
half past. '-NsD Horh Weekly