Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-10-19
Saturday Smiles.


New York is trying to get the worlds fair by
the faith cure method Chicago Journal.
An absolute vacuum has never been attained
1t can exist only in your mind.-Terre Haute
Express.
Jack-"Why am like a Latin noun, Nellie?"
Nellie-"Don't know-why?"
Jack-'Because you can't decline me-
Chicago Journal
There are giants in our day, but they live in
New York, not in Boston.-Boston Gazette.
He wooed her and sued her and sought her
Till ne melted her heart so cold;
Then hen ne ZEN married the ieemsn,s daughter
Boston Courier.
Oddly enough, if there is any place in the
wide world where young lady won't do the
fair thing it is at the fair.-Someruik Journal
Manley-..I wish young Gibbon could break
himself Of that silly habit Of sucking his cane"
Carper-"Why? It's impossible for him 70
stick it in anybody's eye while he's doing that"
Puck.
We live longer than Methuseleh. for we know
more, do more, are more in seventy years than
he knew did, or was in his nine hundred and
sixty mine. Chicago Adodnce.
Bleak. frozen winter will soon hold sway,
"A And the bowling blizzard our forms will swipe
The blue bird Is singing his farewell lay,
And the plumber is laying his farewell pipe.
He-"will you marry me?" she-"No."
He-"Then will you marry Bob Sawyer? He
about 1.-THE Epoch
"Have you noticed that quiet languid, dolce
far niente feeling that has all Of sudden set
tied on the country, as if life is no longer
worth living? 1t is easily explained. The
base ball season is closed.-Norristo,on Herald
The rage for dropping nickels into slots has
gone so far that a man on Wabash avenue is
coming money with machine bearing the
label: Drop nickel in the slot and take
walk around the block. Chicago Ne,cs
We seem to get along as well without a
pension commissioner as with one. What's the
matter with abolishing the office and turning
the business over to the clerks permanently as
now?-Sc1dntOn Truth.
A woman who gave her husband some zephyr
to get matched two days ago. on his way home
in the evening, has not seen him since. As
there are only forty-tive stores in town where
zephyr is sold, she thinks it is about time he
returned hOme.-NOrristopn Herald
The business problem of life is how to make
a good living. and those who solve it have little
| time to keep the flies of those who don,t-Ol
City Blizzard
Stranger. is the meaning of this vast
crowd; something unusual happenings
Boston mani don't know, sir have lust
arrived on the ground myself. 1t may be that
a symphony concert is just over, or it may be
that Mr.. Sullivan is drunk again. Judge
Some one asked an old lady about a sermon.
La, no; the minister couldn't remember it him
self He had to have it written down."-Chris-
tidn Advocate.
Pretty much everything in New England is
two hundred and fifty years old about now.
Celebrations tread upon each others heels
When one pauses to think how long it will be
before the same kind of celebrations are pop
ular in the west it makes one tired. None Of
us will be there. Our tombstones will BIO time
worn.-kearney (Net.) Enterprise
A Chinese journalist thus describes the social
dance of Occidentals in a letter to his paper:
More particularly are there Invitations to
skip and posture when the host decides what
man Is to be partner Of what woman and what
woman OF what man. Then with both arms
grasping each other they go in pairs and leap,
skip, posture and prance for their mutual
qualification. A man and a woman previously
unknown to each other may take part in IL
This they call dancing. Boston Traveller.
clerk in one Of the departments in Wssh-
ington has discovered that '.soIdiers in the
late war were killed in their irst, third and
fifth battles more than in any other" After
soldier is killed in three battles he ought to
have experience enough to escape death in
all the subsequent engagements. -Norristoson
Herald