Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-12-07
WOES OF THE SAD CHApERoN.
Why She Thinks She Is n Martyr TO
the Social Customs of Modern DAYS.


the Social Customs Of Modern Days.
SHE HAS TO WORK AND FREr WHILE TIE YOUNG
PEOPLE FRoLIc-THE cH.PERoS SYSTEM BEr-
TER, HowEvxR. THAN THE WESTERN Way
MEN NOT TO BE TRUSTED.
Talk about martyrs OF civilization" said o
society woman Of long-held position the other
day. why, we mothers Of manageable
daughters are the worst afflicted OF them all.
sometimes am tempted TO bewail the depart
ure of more primitive days when chaperons
were regarded as superiuous and young poo
pie enjoyed each others company without SUI
PerNlsion by their elders. However. such To-
grets Tor altered ways ana manners whenI
ieei them, are always efectually checked by
my recollection of the working of the no-chap-
eroh system IN practice l saw il during
WISH that paid two years a-,O IN the west. On
that occasion spent the fashionable season in
Chicago. st. Louis and Detroit. which are the
three cities most commonly referred 70 as Illus
trating the advanced civilization of the west.
From tins fact 1 had supposed that I would
lind society IN those centers OF population con-
stltuted very much as II Is IN the east and ia
was greatly TO my establishment that found 10
TO be as different as possible. The main roint
that struck me-and must confess that n SET
me fairly aghast-was the operation out there
of what have called the no-chapcron system.
Mind you. am very far from entertaining the
notion not intrequently held by over-anXious
mammas that sensible and modest young
women are never TO be trusted alone with Young
men. but in such matters a certain amount of
ordinary common-sense discretion must be eI-
ercised even though abstract propriety ia
thrown 10 the winds"
EACH YOUNG MAN HIS OWN cHAPERoN.
"And you did not find that the western sys-
TEN exercised such discretion?" asked THE SrAR
reporter.
We'll, hardly. In Detroit found that the
mammas were considered altogether out OF
place at social festivities; the young men did
all the chaperoning themselves and the gen.
eral impression seemed 10 be that they we're
entirely competent TO perform such duties. IL
| a girl was invited 10 party-mind YOU / am
speaking OF the fashionable people there-she
could not go unless some man volunteered to
| take her. IL a gentleman of her acquaintance
was kind enough TO offer TO accompany her to
the party she might thankfully accept-since
she could not go alone and her mother was not
| eNpected-and her escort would take entire
charge OF her, bringing her home again at 2 or
) O'Clock IN the morning. at the conclusion OF
the festivities. Because 1 declined TO permit
my own daughter 10 spend the night out in
the care OF youth scarcely known 20 me L
was set down as a tastidious and absurd person.
and the said youth was so insulted that he did
not call again. In fact. my girl received
scarcely any attention because. as 1t was ex-
pressed, L was afraid to let her out of NV sight
One wel-meaning woman went 50 far as TO try
| to show me. 10y argument that / was casting a
reflection upon my daughter by exhibiting an
unwilingness to trust her alone with men"
! Pray, what did You reply TO that"
Il said very Indignantly that had entire
confidence in my daughter, but that she was a
! treasure given me to guard. and not 10 hand
over for hours nightly INTO the keeping OF odd
! young men IN whom had no confidence what
ever. For, though she might say what she
/ pleased, II was certainly "A fact that young men,
with comparatively few exceptions were not TO
be trusted IN such ways, even supposing that
| they were gentlemen; 1t was a very old philos-
| ophy that man would protect woman against
! all men, except himself, and il was the widest
sort OF ldlocy to place an innocent young girl
! under the unrestricted control of a man whom
/ she might easily he led 10 regard in the light
of a lover. On the whole, the less trust that
| was put IN young gentlemen the better where
| the girls were concerned
WICKED VERSUS GoopY-GoopY
us not that rather rough on the menu"
| Il do not mean 1t that way. My disposition
is not to blame the young men; l am satisfied
| to excuse them for their faults taking human
| nature as II is-and to take a properly Watchful
care of the girls. have been reconSlod in a
measure TO young mems badness Ia an ex-
! tended observation of the fact that they all,
with very rare and precious exceptions. are di-
yldod into two classes-the wicked ones and
| the goody-goody fellows. The former class is
not very wicked. but still not TO be trusted;
the latter class Is not wicked at all. at any rate
openly, and is very apt TO be less trustworthy
| than the other. IL a man disslpates a little, wa
! can ignore It, so long as he is a gentleman
and AN agreeable fellow. He is even welcome
| IN our houses-if he marries our daughter. he
| Is apt to turn out a satisfactory husband-but
it is just well not to intrust the girls to HIM
| for safe-keeping. Al the least, lac will surely
| kiss them If he can"
HOW To RESENT UNLIMITED KISSES.
THAT would be horrible"
| Il have known it done. And it rs very Diff
cult for young woman to know what to do
under such circumstances. The young man
was perhaps exposed TO temptation. the
| acknowledgment of which on hls part was in
| itself something of a compliment OF course,
the liberty was an improper one and ought to
be resented; but 1t probably Was not intended
as an insult at all, and the girl can hardly take
| II SO serlouely as that while IL would be piling
| improperly on improperly for her to slap the
| offenders face. The best thing for her to do
is to say coldly and calmly: Mr.. So-and-so,
must tell you distinctly that, If You ever do
such thing as that again, our acquaintance
will come 70 an end That will check the
most audacious man at once. 1t is the greatest
possible mistake for girl TO permit "A man to
kiss her, for his estimate of her goes down
| several pegs the moment she allows it, 4 know
| it's fact, because several men have told me so.
| And it is wonderful how quickly il gets around
| that she is not in the habit of resesting such
| little caresses from men she likes.
| sSUBBING A CHEEKY MAN.
| but you were speaking OF chaperons.
''Yes, l should say that a chaperon would be
highly desirable for girl like that. The best
snub / ever heard of, bestowed by a woman
| upon a man who attempted to kiss her was
| given by pretty young Philadelphia widow Of
ready wit. 1t was raining such pItchforks when
she left party one night that she kindly in
yited young beau of her acquaintance, who
had no umbrella. to a seat in her carriage He
accepted it gladly, and, having very likely
| taken just enough champagne 10 make him
/ little reckless, he attempted shortly after "a
| bestow 'buss' upon the lady. She taken
| by surprise, but, without saying anything, she
pulled the cord that communicated with the
coachman's box and stopped the vehicle The
man got down and opened the door. upon
which his mistress said: John, Mr.. Timpkins
wishes TO get out here And Mr.. Timpkins
did get out in the soaking wet, and was obliged
| to walk nearly mile before he could find
| shelter. In Chicago, by the way well as in
Detroit or St. LOUIS ii is the fashion for young
gentlemen to take young ladies to parties and
| to the theaters alone in carriages which the
men provide, and come back in the same way.
| Why, II made my hair positively stand on end
to learn of ii. OF course. in the east il is con-
| sidered gross improperly for very common
sense reasons, for girl to place herself under
money obligation to any man not a near rela-
| tive, by permitting him to pay for her convey