davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

1t is a constant wonder to the un-
dersigned, what in the world man in
sound mind, and possessed of the use
of his faculties, wants of an Office,
federal, state or local 1t is nothin g
but a nuisance and torment from
the time he gets it till he lets go, or
is made to let 90, and the same ability
bestowed upon securing and holding
if would insure better pecunary re-
turns, if applied to business pursuits.
1t must be the glory attached to it or
the notoriety. 1t certainly can't be
the money, for with rare exceptions,
there is no money in holding office in
Oregon. The only position that is
worth anything in this county, is the
one that c. ]. -Trenchard has held for
the past 615 years. That is worth
about $4,000 a year. The sheriff s
Office isn't worth a mans while bother
ing with, and as for the other posi-
tions, they are only an aggravation of
Life's miseries.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

penSary." 132 and l3i Third street, corner OF
Alder, has been established fo nearly a
quarter OF a century. 1t is known all over
the coast as one of tie greatest intirmarieS
in the United States. Read the following
TESTIMONIALS
johnson Linton Astoria; spermatOrrhoea
in last stage cured. by home treatment.
John Derr-SpOkane Falls; afflicted with
deafness for Ten years; hearing cGm-
pletely restored.
Mary Agnes-POit Town end suffered with
Scjaj!c rh umat'Sin iOr 1, III years per-
maneutiy cured.
Frank BrOwer-Helena puimn,t. ~ trouble
for seven years cured.
George CorSOn Tacoma granulated sore
eyes, from bOyhOOd permanently cured.
William FTench-AStOria spinal trouble
could not stand alone; now attending to
business.
Hans JohnSOn-POrtland diSOrdered blood,
with running sores on limbs. for ten
years SOundly healed.
George LcSS-Tacoma nasal catarrh in last
stage permanently cured.
Aaron MinkS-S9attle; dyspepsia and chron-
ic constipation cured.
Glover Wills Spokane Falls; kidney trOl-
bic permanently cured.
Bert WilliamS-HeleDa seminal weakness
PERMANENTLY cured
Edmond ROache- Helena; lost manhood
restored,
Frank Blye-POrtland blood and skin dis
ease; permanently cured.
The above are only few cases out of hun
dredS successfully treated monthly at this
| DiSpenSary. There are a large number OF
eases We never publish. but treat privately
and strictly confidential. Diseases correctly
diagnosed by letter. Medicine securely
packed and sent by express C. o. D., fel
home treatment. No matter what your all
ment may be, if you are suffering you should
write or call upon DIR. Alfred l. Cole, the
gTeat spec ialiSt, head physician and chlei
surgeon of the Portland Surgical and Med
ical Dispensary," l32 ana 13I Third street
corner Alder. Portland, Oregon.
Send l0c for Marriage Guide"
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

soon he could build that new house
with the Queen Anne front, and the
Mary Anne back, when a man came
in and wrote on little slate that he
carried, that he was deaf and dumb,
and that he wanted to buy some real
estate. To talk real estate to a dumb
man is a tough job, but the agent
tackled him, and after the slow inter
change of speech through the unsatis-
factory medium of slate and pencil,
the agent finally sold him two desir-
able lots in Blank addition. Then
the dumb man said that he wanted to
see the lots. "All right" said the
agent. and over he went to Sherman
& Wards, after a team. A dreary
ride in the fast gathering twilight
brough them to the spot.
The man expressed his approval,
and the pair started back, losing their
way before they got home, After be-
ing once more in the Office, the dumb
man said lie was a book agent, sold
the real estate agent So book, said
he'd be in in the morning and pay
for the lots, and went to Portland,
that night
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

The happiest mortal seen yesterday
was boy. He only had one sus-
pender to keep his courage and his
trousers up. Before him stalked,
gloomily, a man worth a hundred
thousand dollars. That is, he could
spend that much money and not have
any one call him to an account about
it. Behind him was lady whose
husband gives her all the money she
wants and who has no incumbrances
But the man and the lady looked to
be in the dumps. The boy was merry.
He had one of these things the boys
call "cry-babies." You blow it and it
swells up and shrieks and emits dole
full walls as the air escapes. His en-
tire outfit wasn't worth $3.50, but he
was happy. The others weren't.
Probably he was happy because he
was boy. After awhile he'll get the
idea in his head, like the rest OF us,
that money brings happiness, and he'll
start in trying to get some, and the
harder he tries, the less happiness
he'll have.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

The only federal Office that the
Astoria public is really interested in is
the postmaster's position. The post
master is a man that we all have init
mate dealings with every day. Not
one out of thousand has anything to
do with the collector. He sits in dig
nifed seclusion in the upper story,
and the only ones he sees are shipping
men, or newspaper men after an item,
or man who has a cousin or an uncle
or something that he thinks might
get billet somewhere.
But with the postmaster it is diff
ferent. He can help or hinder every
man and woman in town. With him
rests the important question whether
we shall get our letters, or whether we
shall have to wait week for them
after they arrive. On him devolves
the responsibility OF seeing that the
office has some benefit in it for the
public, or whether it shall be public
nuisance.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

The other day The AsIoRIAN had
an innocent little paragraph, saying
that if the days were Sc hours long in
stead of a, that a good many of us
could do more than is at present done,
implying that the present day is too
short for busy people, though we all
have all the time that is going. A
sarcastic reader writes the editor a
reply or criticism: He, or maybe it's
shel says:
Anyone that has to work as long
as you say you and others work isn't
smart. A smart man could make a
living without being obliged to work
16 or is hours a day. A man that can
make living by working four or five
hours a day, as many do, is, to my
mind, a good deal smarter than one
who has to spend two or three times
that amount of time at his business. :"
Whoever wrote the foregoing is
right. In the meantime, what are you
going to do about it? We can't all be
smart. If ability to get q living with
out work is a criterion of mental acu-
men, Judson Cole is the smartest man
In town.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22
The New Discovery.

You have heard your friends and neigh
bors talking about II. YOu may your
self be one of the many who know from
personal experience just how good a
thing tits. If you have ever trit d it, you
are one Of its staunch friends, because
the wonderful thing about it is, that
when once given trial, Dr. Kings New
Discovery ever after holds 4 place in
the house. II you have never used it
and should te afflicted with cough,
cold or any Throat, Lung or Chest
trouble. secure bottle at once and give
it fair trial. II is guaranteed every
time, nr money refunded. Trial Bottles
Free ut j. w. Conn's Drugstore.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

When The Historian was doing all
it could to have the railroad subscrip-
ton of $175,000 made up, it, two or
three times, used the argument that
the amount any man subscribed was
not giving" II. Some folks seemed
TO have the idea that In putting their
names down for hundred or thou-'
sand dollars, that they were "giving'
it. The idea was a mistaken Que. A
subscription to that fund was a first
class investment; the only ones that
couldn't see that were those
who were in hopes OF reaping
the benefit without making any con-
tribution. The argument that it was
an investment, and not gift, continued
to be quoted because it couldn't
be improved. Time has amply dem
onstrated the absolute truth OF the
argument, Results are the only
things in the world that amount to
anything: the result shows that THE
Historian was right. A man came to
the Office yesterday, whose remarks
show just what the results were, and
are:
Said he:
81 didn't go much on what you were
saying for a while, but after Q little,
l thought there might be something
in it, and took $500, just for luck
Well, sir, since July, I've made $1,000
that l wouldn't have made if the rail
road hadn't started to be built. So
far I'm S2,500 ahead" That's about
the size of it. He'll be more ahead
before long. And so will everybody
else.
The same argument applies to sub
scribing to this hotel fund, of 500,
600. The one you will be giving" i
TO will be yourself.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22
4 Souud h.cgas Opinion,

F.. cambridge Munday Esq. County
Atty, Clay Co. Texas says: ''IIave used
Electric Bitters with most happy re-
suits. My brother also was very low
with Malarial Fever and Jaundice, but
was cured by timely use of this medi-
cine. Am satisfied Electric BittcrS
saved his life
Mr.. ID. [. WilcOxSOn, of Horse Cave,
KY, adds like testimony, saying: lie
positively believes he would nave died
had it not been for Electric DitterS.
This great remedy will ward off, as
well as cure all Malaria Diseases, and
for all Kidney, Liver and Stomach Dis
orders stands unequaled. Price 30 cents
and 81, at JnO G. Dement'S.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22
MARINE NEWS AND NOTES.

The Columbia will be laid off the
first trip of the new year. Her place
will be taken by either the Corona or
the Santa Rosa. When the CoIunl-
biG has had her usual annual over
hauling, the Oregon viii take her
turn in the dry dock.-OregOniGn.
About three weeks ago the RooDenG
left Yaquina in tow of the steamer
Mischief. She carried crew of four
men, in search of fishing banks. She
never returned, and many suppose she
has been lost during the extreme
rough weather that has prevailed
since her departure. She may, how
ever, have succeeded in getting into
some port on the coast.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

Right in the direct line of those
necessary things, is that new hotel
project. The idea as recently ad-
vanced in these columns, is being
talked up, and is assuming tangible
shape. 1t will take 100000, That
is the first thing necessary. That
can be raised right here among 200
public spirited citizens, who can
each contribute $500.
There was about $4,000 subscribed
yesterday. The remainder can and
should be readily raised. The amount
thus subscribed is not gift; it is an
investment, and good one. There is
no reason why such hotel wouldn't
have the same effect in Astoria as ii
has had elsewhere.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22
SHORT SUNDAY SCREEDs,
On Topics That Are Mostly Familiar

President Harrison has given the
Oregon politicians something for their
Christmas stockings. Some of them
don't Ike the gifts profered, and pout
because the particular prize that hung
on the presidential Christmas tree was
not awarded them. John Minto, for
instance. If any man in Oregon was
sure of anything, he was sure that he
was going to be the next United
States marshal for Oregon, and Hon.
L. 7. BARN gets it. a surprise all
around. There was so little to give
out down here, that there was hardly
enough to go round. We are all chill
dren, when it comes to gifts, and If
we can't have what we like, end in
liking what We have.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

The real estate business appears to
be the leading industry in Astoria at
present. It's dull day when two or
three additions are not plated" !"
and put on the market. A good
many are loaded up. A good many
more are getting ready. 1t is all a
good buy; a man can't miss it by get
ting In anywhere between here and
Saddle Mountain, but there are other
things that are as necessary as real
estate. What these things are, will
suggest themselves. To go into de-
tails would be unnecessary to those
who could understand, and useless
to those who could not.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

That wonderful man Edison, is still
catching on tosome of the Almighty's
secrets. His latest is some sort of an
electric arrangement that enables one
to see from San Francisco to Boston.
To understand it is not vouchsafed
the ordinary mind. But we can enjoy
the wonderful result, just as we can
the duplex wire, the telephone,
the phonograph, the telautegraph,
and other of his wonderful inventions.
Or rather discoveries. There is no
such thing Is an invention. What we
call an invention" Is Just something
that the Creator knew all the time,
but that one of us down here or up
here has Just found out. Edison
has dropped ON more of the Almighty's
ways and knowledge, than anybody
else in this century. If our brethren
Of the pulpit could just follow bis
lead, and get some authentic pointers
from headquarters, the churches in
Astoria or anywhere else couldn't
hold the crowds that would flock
In. 1t showed presence OF
mind, though, on Edison's part,
to wait till the afternoon of the
nineteenth century before he was born,
and began his wonderful inventions.
II he had appeared in the cast iron
past when men daren't express their
thoughts for fear that the stake OF
the torture chamber would be their
fate, he would have, likely enough,
been roasted or drawn apart long be-
fore this. That new invention OF
Edison's whereby a man can see afar
off will be a good thing for men who
buy timber land on the Nehalem.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22
Real Estate Transfers, Dec. 21.

d. K. Warren and wife to H. E.
Crosby, lots 1 and 2, blk l, Knappa;
800.
V. Writ and wife to Clara Mon
teith, lots 10 and ), blk 81, lots 10 and
5, blk 5615, no designation; 81.
W. L. Robb and wife to Jos. A. Viii
son, lots l and 2. blk 4, East Astoria;
S24O.
w. L. Robb and wife to H. e. Cros-
by, lots l and 2, blk 2, East Astoria;
$500.
E. P. Thompson to Geo. F. Nose
lot 8, blk 16 Warrenton; $3.50.
Jno, Suntilla and wife to Jfo. b
Blanchet, part A. B. Mexican dona-
ton land claim; $4,000.
r. ID. Church to Charlotte Cole
five acres, sec %, T 8 n, Rs W; $3.50.
Jno. 81. Smith to J. S. Gramms, lots
and 7, blk %, Williamsport; $40.
Chas. Peterson to Ole Oleson, w 4
NV Il, sec 81, TT N, r 8 W; 5000.
Jno. Hobson and wife to II. B. Hob
son, fractional blk sc, Olney's, 81.
II. B. Hobson to Jno Hobson, NJ
blk 26, Olney's, 81.
J.H. Smith to A. B. Smith, lots IL
u, 13, IA and Is, Williamsport, 1926
M. Young and wife to Geo. G.
Shirley, lots l, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 43, Il, 45
46. AZ and 48, blk 10, Young's add,
$780,
Justine Anderson to E. Willis anC
T. Rowland, lot 2, blk 10, McClure's
$780,
Be sure to get Hoods SarSaparilla il
YOU want an honest, reliable medicine
! Do not take any other which is alleged
| To be ''abOut the same cr''juSt as good
Insist unOn having Hoods SarSaparilla
which is peculiar to Itself. Sold by nj
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22
PERSONAL MENTION.

F. l.. Parker and wife have gone to
reside in their cabin on the hill.
Hon. W. T. Burney, of Oregon City,
is in the city, and returns home VIA
to-night's boat.
Reposing special confidence in the
uprightness and integrity OF B. 5.
Worsley, Gov. Pennoyer has made
him a notary public.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

Three miles back of Westport the
snow was 81 inches deep, yesterday
morning, and four miles farther south
the snow was Is inches deep. At
Knappa, snow was also reported. 1t
won't last long, and by this time has
mostly disappeared. When it first
falls it presents a beautiful appear
ance on the dark green boughs of the
spruce and fir, but to the traveller
through the mud, the beauty is lost
sight of, in the discomfortit occasions.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

The Cheyenne Tribune has the fol-
lowing lines, which fit Astoria exactly,
with the simple change of the city,
which is here made: Astoria realty
is Astoria money. Invest III home
property. Advertise your city. Put
money IN Astoria and you put money
in your own pocket. In assisting the
wheels of Astoria progress you ride in
your own carriage. Call the attention
of outside capital 10 home enter
prises."
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

MARITIME Melodies" is the taking
title of neatly printed brochure that
comes to hand with the compliments
of the Commercial Publishing Co.,
wishing US a Merry Christmas. The
company that daily issues the Com
naerci0L NeoCS, one of San Francisco's Is
institutions, show that though they
daily deal in dry statitics. yet have
music in their souls, for no one devoid
of poetry and the gentler attributes oi
life could have so ably compiled and
SO nicely published the happy little
sea rhymes before us.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

Among a large number of other
passengers on the steamer Oregon, to
arrive from San Francisco to-day, are
the following: j. T. Jones and wife,
T. J. Rutledge, Julian Gassman. g.
II. Walters. c. J. Bruguire, F. r.
Stokes, w. ]. Mcnamara and wife, r.
T. Allen, j., j. Howard, G. w. Fox
and wife, w. p. Sinnott, Charles Lee
Donald Macleay, j. l.. Fay. George
Beall, p. II. Johnson, G. II. Nesbitt
J. n. Spofford, Mrs. NJ. Beecher, F. C.
Smith.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

1t is with regret is read by the in
diter of these Sunday paragraphs, an
article in the first column of the 7th
page in yesterdays OregOniGn, that
there were IA total. and 20 partial
losses of vessels at the Columbia
during the seven years from 81 to '8S,
inclusive. This is a grave mistake,
and one that the Sound papers will
make all the capital out of that they
can. 1t cannot be that our inland con-
temporary wants to give our port a
black eye. Further comment is de-
ferred, till it is seen if the mistake is
not corrected. A greater falsehood
could not well be stated in fewer
words, or one more injurious alike to
Portland and Astoria, than that con-
tanned in the line referred to in yes
terday's issue of our usually correct
contemporary.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

A young Englishman named NJ. F.
Parker who has recently been work
ing at the Clatsop mill, but at present
is not employed, was in receipt of a
letter a dag or two ago informing him
of the fact that he had been left the
snug little fortune Of $4,000 through
the death OF an uncle in England.
The young man will leave soon for
home TO take possession OF the wei
come funds.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

All the patent medicines advertised
in this paper, together with the choicest
perfumery, and toilet articles, etc, can
be bought at the lowest prices, at j. w.
COnn'S drug store, opposite Occident
hotel StOria
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

There were fifty people, visitors,
going around last night looking
for lodging accommodations Every
thing was full, and rooms were at a
big premium.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

Rescue club had an unusually good
programme last evening, the new
piano giving great qualification with
its full, clear tones. The club has a
present membership OF over 1900.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

Three words of The AsToRIAN's re-
port were received at the telegraph
Office last evening, and then the line.
which had worked feebly all day,
went down. Sorry, but can't help it.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

'Tisn't often that any one gets away
with real estate man, but the thing
was done recently, in this city. One
of the best of 'em was sitting in his
Office one afternoon, a short time ago,
making out deeds, and figuring how
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

A Liverpool firm writes that after a
series of experiments they have pro-
duced composite plate that will sup
ersede the usual tin plate on the Co
lumbia river. They say they can sell
the stuff for three shillings a box, of
1l2 plates, 14x20. Maybe so. The
only thing that can ever supersede
English tin plate in the salmon busi-
ness on the Columbia river, is Am
erican tin plate from the tin mines of
Dakota.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

The Columbia Skating Club, have
issued invitations to a grand masked
carnival at Ross opera house, New
Years Eve. The affair is in the hands
OF committees who will spare no pains
to make 1t III every way an assured
success.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22
ADVICE TO NFOTHEHs

Mrs. WINsLow's SOOTHING SYRUP
should always be- used for children
teething. 1t SoOthes the child, sOftens
the gums, allays all pain, cures wind
cholic, and is the best remedy for diar-
rh9a. Twenty-Five cents bottle.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

There Is opposition in the lake cities
TO the proposed transfer of the reve-
nue. marine to the navy department..
1t is feared that in such a case the
revenue cutters doing duty on the
lakes would have to be regarded as reg
uIar naval vessels, and their number,
therefore, reduced to one, by the terms
of our agreement with Great Britain.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

Captain J. G. Hustler, gives friendly
notice that taxes In school district
No. One, will be delinquent on
the Both inst, and don't you forget it.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

If you want good turkey. goose Ol
chicken for Christmas or New Year
leave your orders at X. Il. Humphreys
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

On account of the opera house
being engaged next Thursday night,
the Columbia skating club viii hold
their next skating party Tuesday,
Christmas eve.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

The Northern Pacific Railroad COM
pany are having the grade stakes set,
with the intention of removing their
ferryboat incline from Hunters Point
to Fosters, two miles further down
the river.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

w. b. Adair directs attention to blk
II. Adair's Astoria.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

There is considerable money in the
city treasury.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

Griffin & Reed, will use Crosby'S old
store As an annex to their present over
stocked quarters. A large stock OF
Dolls, Wagons and Toys of all kinds,
can be found here.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

Tie Central Alaska Canning COM
pauy lost S75,600 in canning opera
tiOns IN Alaska, last season.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

If you are going to advertise, why
not advertise in the paper that every
one sees. THE Historian has the
largest circulation, and is the peoples
recognized medium for those who want
to sell and want TO buy.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

Churches and Sunday Schools will be
given liberal discount on all purchases
of holiday goods. GRIFFIN d. REED.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-12-22

Ladies are invited to visit our store
during the morning hour to avoid the
rush in the afternoon. A better oppOr-
tunity can be had to make selections.
GRIFFIN q REED.