The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1889-02-09
puNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

There is one time when bank tel>
ler doesn't teIl--and that is when he Is
contemplating trip to Canada
Rochester Express.
--He-"If you will be mine, Louise,
I will lead you through life like an
angel" She--"That is, with nothing
20 eat and nothing to wear. No, 1
thank you. "--Fliegende Blattor.
The man who thinks he can hcave
in Il few toddies, and go home and de-
ceive his wife into an idea that he is
quite sober, is worse fooled than he
thinks she is.-MilwaulSee journal.
Professor" is rapidly getting to
be title which implies that the pro-
fessions of knowledge on the part of the
man who applies it to himself are not
to be believed. d.-Journal of Education.
How / would like to be the man
this gay old world as he does" 81
wish you were, I'm sure, George"
"WhyP" "Wcll, the moon is several
thousand miles away. ."--Lincoln Jour-
nal.
Prosecuting Attorney (selecting
jury)-"Isn't the prisoner a relative of
yoursp" Juror-No, sir; he is rela-
tive of my wife" Prosecuting Attor-
ney-"Your Honor, the prosecution ac-
cepts this gentleman. IN. Y. Sun.
There are half n million men in
this country who daily enter cigar
cigar?" And not one of them has ever
found tobacconist honest enough to
reply in the negative. Detroit Free
Press.
1t is time for revival of reading
writing, and arithmetic in the public,
schools. Clay modelling and music are
nice accomplishments, but the children
when grown cannot handle mud for
their board nor sing for their supper.
San Francisco Alta.
Railroad President-"Mr.J jenkins,
can't you suggest some distinctive name
for our road, something like the Bee
Line or the .Nickel-Plate'
on that planp" Secretary "How
would the True Love- do for name?"
81 don't see the application" '1t
never runs smooth. "-Terre Haute EX-
press.
live been working like horse all
day, growled Fogle, as he sat down to
the supper table, with a look of gloom.
Mrs. F. remarked very quietly, 1'm
sorry to hear you say so. dear.
Horses, you know, never work unless
they are driven. n."-Transcript.
Somebody says that drinking beer
will quench the thirst. Perhaps it may,
but not so quickly as water. Some
mems thirst is so hard TO quench with
beer that they swallow ten glasses in
side of an hour, whereas one pint of
water will satisfy a plain, ordinary,
everyday thirst for eight or ten hours
at time.-Norristow Herald.
-Husband-'1 hope, dear, you can
find time to do something for poor
Browns family. He has been i'll for
,hree months; his wife is bed-ridden
Ind his children are starving, They
i've but ten minutes walk from here,
you know" Wife-"Impossible. John.
This is the day of the meeting of our
society for the preparation of Dressed
Dolls and Canned Soup for South Afri-
,an sufferers. The Browns must wait"
Bulletin.
Miss Ethel-"Did you enjoy your
elf. Clara, at the De Dottom affair the
,ther evening?" Miss Clara-"O,
was asked to sing, which
can't do; also to dance and play,
leither of which is one of my accomp-
if painted, or was fond of
.rt in any way; if 1 belonged to any
literary club, and all that sort of thing,
ii of which you know 1 do not do. 1
imply established reputation for
,enius, and was intensely admired-so
ovely to be a genius!"-Harper's Ba-
ar.