Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-06-14


on tue head for and idiot! Pye
put on more door and gate springs
than you've got hairs in your
head
He got the door down from the
iOtt, and after running up and down
and backwards aud forwards for
half an hour his assortment Of tools
consisted of two saws, an suger,
a brace and a bit, a plane, a screw
driver and screws, square, Q com.
pass, a mitre. box, and tape line.
"Does it require all those tools
to hang a screen door 2" l queried.
at may and may not" he re.
piled.
"CAn | assist you 10 any way !"
"Can you assist me I Mrs. Bow.
ser, you talk as ifyou didn't regard
me as alfbakedl When want
your valuable assistance III send
you word on a postal card 7"
retired in good order and re-
NAMED out of sight twenty min
utes. When | returned he had the
door on and seemed very we'll sat
isfed.
"You'll have to make q slight
change in that, Mr.. Bowser."
"Howp
you have hung it top to bot
tom"
"I have, eh 7 I'll bet you $40, O,0OO,'
900 to a cent | haven't"
"WelI, look at the knob and the
catch and holdings on the panels"
He was fairly beaten, aud he
realized it, but instead of acknowl-
edglng the corn he looked at 1t for
a moment, and then quietly said:
81 slipped it on that way to see
if you would notice 1t, but you'd
have let it pass il | hadn't called
your attention to lt.'
In the course of half an hour be
made the change and was putting
on the spring when | came back.
He had never put a spring on q
door in his life, aud 1t would not
have detracted from his dignity to
ask my advice, but he would haye
died first. He measured for it and
began to bore a hole tor screen.
After be had worked for two or
three minutes asked:
"Mr. Bowser, which way ara you
turning that gimlet 7"
"What do you mean ~ be de-
manded as he stopped work.
"You have been turning to the
left"
"Of course | have! Who ever
heard of turning boring tool any
other wayi"
81 have. You may work all day
that way and not accomplish any
thing. That gimlet and all Other
gimlets turn to the right"
"They do, ELI What a smart
wife l havel You had better de-
liver a series of lectures on mechan
ism 4" rfi".r
"Will you turn to tue right"
"NO, ma'am y
He bored and bored, determined
not to give in, and at length
\ pushed him aside and turned the
gimlet to the right and had it into
the wood in no time.
"Didn't | tell you so, Mr.. Bow
: ser I"
"Well, the man who made ths'
gimlet deserves State prison! ! ltl
the first one / ever saw that turned
Q to the right, and | had seen mil
| lions of them before YOU wer'
: born 2"
a "Can you put the spring OF
alone = ..
o "Mrs. Bowser,r lie answered, al
ter glaring at me in q chilled stee
1 way for half a minute, "perhaps
Q oncht to be in the idiot asylum
It and perhaps do know enough I
o come IN when it rains. You vii
|. oblige me very much by going Int
!. the house and knocking tbs
squalling young 'un on the head
IS 1t was half an hour before dare
make an excuse to go out agar
BY that time Mr.. BOwser had tn
spring on, but the door stood ope
instead of shut. He was standiU
in deep study.
81 know what alls IL, Mr.. Bow
ser"
:, "HOw shrewd ~
NJ "When you frightened the sprin
n up you turned 1t to the right. Thi
l. throws the door open. 1t you
y tighten to the left the door wi
., sprIug shut
u He sat down on the steps an
IN looked at me with twelve differe:
=. shades OF irony and sarcasm In b
=. ~ expression, aud finally deigned
reply:
"Where did you learn ell yC
" know
n "will you 6x that spring as
tell your