The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-11-10

seem to be checked up too high. Tho facts
is that God made the muSkeeter and the
bed bug before he made man. He also
made the mud-turtle, the jackass and the
babboon. When He had all the experience
He wanted in creating, He made man.
Then he made woman. He done goodlob.
She suits me She fooled herself u e, but
why was it, 1t was Monday, Sue had a
picked up dinner. Adam wanted something
TO finish off with. Eve suggested a cottage
pudding. "Oh, blow yer cottage pudding"
says Ad. How would you like little cur
rant iell!' says she mo currant jell if
you will excuse me-" says Ad. We'll, say
saucer full Of 'tepsy parson' with little
coffee and a Rhode Island pudding!n
"Do'nt talk to me about Rhode Island
gravys," says I'D. you make me tired.
Wash day here is worse than the fodder we
had at the Gem city house on our wedding
tower. l haven't had thing to eat yet
that was fit 10 feed a shingle mill Give
me fllet of elephant veal. Kill that little
fat elephant that eats the blackberries
nights. Fix up little Roman salad he
says, and put quart of Royal Berton sec
on ice FOR me. l will then take little plum
puff and one of them apples that the Lord
told US not to pick. Do that for next wash
day" ETie says, "Ad aud draw on me-"
These was Auam's words as regular rs
how sin come into the world. That's why
man earns his bread by the sweat of his
brow and the tooth of the serpent bruises
the woman's heel. Eve rustled around the
rancho to get little fresh fruit for Al and
10 the Deluge and the CrucifXion and the
Revelation and the Rebellion has growed
out of it.
proud man with nothing but an appe-
tite and side Whiskers, lays out to own the
I'D
in order to please him. And now because
man claims he was created first and did net
sin to amount to anything, he thinks that
he has got the brains of the civilized world
and practically owns the town.
- talk without prejudice, Mr.. Speaker,
because | have no wife. l don't expect to
have any. l have had one. She is in
heaven now. She belonged there before
married her, but for some reason that I
can't find out, she was throwed in my way
for few years and that recollection puts q
lump into my throat yet as l stand here.
| improved on her because she had been
taught to obey her husband. no matter
how much of a dam phool he might be.
That was Laura's idea of Christianity. She
is dead now, and that is where Laura has
the bulge on me. l drive stage and think
God help tue Teller that has to think when
he's got nuthin' to think of but an angel in
the sky that he amt got no claim on.
I've been held up four times and l drove
right along past the road agents. Drove
kind of slow, hoping that they'd shoot, but
they seemed kind OF ratified and so waited
for the next stage.
Its id funny to me that women who
suffer most in order that men may come
into the world, tie one, Mr. Speaker, that
is first to lind aud last 10 forsake hun, first
to hush the cry of a baby Savior in jim
Grow livery stable in Bethlehem, and last
to leave tie cross, firstat the sepulchre and
last to doubt the Lord, should be inter
ested with the souls and bodies of genera
tions, and yet not know enough to vote. -
[Applause.J
l give the above simply to show the
style of rhetoric in those days.
Bill NYR.
For distressing oppression and fullness
IN the stomach take Simmons Liver Regu-