The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1889-04-20

puNcENT PARAGRAPHS.
Patti saws plenty Of sleep is the So
cret Of preserving ones beauty. Inc
hired girl believes this. Boston oou
Ter. onita
myself this evening" Jeannetss
"Allow me to congratulate you.
Life. ; has a
minister who for usefulness breaks sno
record. In one day he preached TWO
sermons, married two couples anu 'o'
three broken ribs. q.
An experiment recently made IN
Scotland proves that the tortoise eau
walk a mile in four hours. When COM
pared with the boy who delivers par
cells from the stores the tortoise mas no
flies on him.-Detroit Free Press.
She was decorating her room WI"
pictures, and she perched her nus
bands picture on the topmost nall
then she sat down to admire her WORK.
and remarked, quietly, ''Now every
thing is lovely, and the goose hangs
high"
-Dumley (whose credit is not nrs'-
class)-.I say. Brown, can you ieno mo
$40 for few daysP' Brown (reiuct-
aptly pulling out q roll of bills) Ter
-s'pose I'll have to, Dumley." Dumiey
Thanks. You seem to have plenty
of money, old fellow" Brownies
seem to have more money than brains
IN. Y. Sun.
az notice in the paper" said Mrs.
Barracks, pouring out Mr.. barracA
coffee, that Brooklyn clergyman
saws that should be permittcd
to whistle" "Yes," retorted Mr.. Bar
racks, agreeably. HE is right. we
should surely not deny to women
privilege we accord to tug boats ana
locomotives. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Where Larders Are Full.-Young
Tramp-.Let's break into the kitchen
of that big house tonight. and GIT
something to eat,n Old Tramp-"We
wouldn't find much there. Them folks
puts on too much style. Git into the
kitchen o. steady-goin', old-fashioned
folks of yer want ter strike banquet"
IN. Y. Weekly.
-Tom-sI dreamed last night that
I had died" Harry-''That was GER
tainly most horrible dream" Tom
but there was still more horrible
experience connected with it." Harry
Indeed. What was it?" TOm-"l
had to read the obituary poetry that
some well meaning but unpoeticai
friend wrote about me-"
An Augusta store: Genial and jo-
cose proprietor. Enter lady. lis Mr..
A. imp He is not. madam" do
you know when he will be imp II do
not" ssWill l find him at his house If
/ call there?" s'Do you take this for
an intelligence Office, MADAME" asked
the proprietor. mot after look at
your face, SIR" and the door slammed
after willowy feminine form.-Au-
gusta (Me.) Journal.
That delicious and juicy fruit, the
orange, is often refraihed from in COM
pany because lit is SO hard to eat it
gracefully" In its native haunts it is
managed thus: In Havana the orange
Is served whole on the table, peeled
down to the juicy ''meat of the fruit"
and you present the golden ball to your
lips on the prongs of a fork. A Florid-
ian fashion is to cut the orange in half
and pass its juice and pulp to the
mouth with teaspoon.
MRS. Graham, said the young
man, Il have traced to you the story
that / have been divorced fourteen
times and arrested seventeen for cruel
ty to my wife, and would like an ex-
planation." "Mr. Bailey, l am cer-
tatnly astounded. The only story /
have told about you lately is what you
informed me last Thursday-that you
had just been engaged" May ask
you whore you mentioned thatP"
why. certainly; it was at the Friday
afternoon sewing circle. Time.