davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05
Fierce and Fickle.

When John Snowden was boy he
always had hobby. One winter it
was coins. and he daily tormented
every shopkeeper in the village for odd
specimens; in the spring it was pigeons;
he sold all his coins, begged and bor-
rowed money from all of the family to
buy fan-tails and rare breeds for his
dove-cotes.
Then he suddenly took fancy to col
lect autographs. The pigeons were
neglected, and either died or were
stolen. John was busy in mailing
piteous appeals to every man or won
an of distinction in Europe or America
to write their names on blank cards for
him.
He was succeeding very well when
the pursuit lost all interest for him.
He bought printing press. Now he
besieged all his friends for orders
"Bill-heads, labels and cards, executed
with neatness and dispatch" Before he
had executed the orders, however, the
delight of type-setting palled upon
him, and he gave it up.
When John grew to be man he was q
violent Ahnlitionist for few wears.
Then he lost all interest in the slaves
tormented all his friends and acquaint-
ances by appealing to them to give up
meat and live with him on fruits and
vegetables. This hobby lasted but a
year, when he took up the cause of
woman suffrage, and quarrelled with
every one who did not agree with him.
Since that he has been, by turns, q
leader among the Spiritualists and the
'Theosophists, and is now-for the mo-
ment-a vehement Ritualist.
He is good, sincere, well-meaning
man, anxious to find the truth and to
draw all men with him to find it.
But lie draws them with such vehem-
ence that his friends avoid him in
terror
A rational man does not object to be
pulled by steam-engine, provided he
is pulled in one direction and that the
right one. But he will not consent to be
jerked hither and thither as by the
vagaries of restless wind.
John Snowden's temperament and
habit of thought are very common in
the world. The life and usefulness of
many strong, conscientious man have
been paralyzed by them.
If any of our boy-readers find that
they are already inclined to mount
hobby and ride it rough-shod over
other people, let them take warning. 1t
will not be possible, perhaps, for them
to curb or cool their zeal. Let them
indulge it, remembering, however, that
their brothers and classmates have
right to hobbies of their own, and
should not be forced to mount behind
theirs.
When their zeal begins to flag, too.
let them spur it and force it to continue
in the same path. The man who is ar
dent in the pursuit of one object is sue
cessful. The man who is jealous in the
pursuit of dozen soon ranks as
feather-headed fool among other men.
-YO1ItHS Communion.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05
ONE YEAR IN HEAVEN.
BY EBEN e. RESFoRD.


One wear in Heaven, o. blue-eyed little darling,
One year an angel by the throne OF God;
A flower of earth transplanted to the garden,
Where never yet grave has marred the sod.
o, child SO dear we often feel you near us,
Here as Of old, beside each loving heart;
We call your name, and love to think you hear
us;
Here, yet in Heaven--so near, yet far apart.
So far apart2 No, It's not far to Heaven.
Gods world and ours touch in the grave
green sod
And what we lose on earth in pain and sorrow
We find in gladness in the world of God.
D, happy voice. that drove away all sorrow
From those who loved you in this lower land,
aow sweet the songs are that you Join in sing
Too sweet, as yet, for us to understand
How sweet the thought. In Heaven a fair,
pure angel
Is nil our own our own forevermore.
Though we are poor in all of earth posse sions,
In Gods dear world what treasure is in store
o. joy above all other joys, to see thee,
To CLASP thee kiss thee, have thee as OF old,
And know in Heaven there is no loss or parting,
But always JOY and happiness untold.
Watch for us, darling Watch and wait our
coming.
Be at the golden gate to let us through,
And may the sight that greets us first IN
Heaven
Be one, we pray, dear little one, of you
SH1ocroN, Wis.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

MADGE--Inat policeman tried to
mash me when he helped me across the
street. Don't you think he was rather
presumptuous? Jack-That's only a
way of his. He tried TO mash me last
night with his club.
A JERSEY CRY policeman having
offered his hand to young lady,
which was refused, he arrested her.
"What is the eharge?" asked the SER
geant at the station house. Resisting
an offer, sir" was the reply.
LIEUTENANT - Don't you know
enough to salute your superior officer
New Sentry-I did, sir. Lieutenant
i failed to see you. New Sentry-Just
as you came along / said, "Hillo,
there" l guess you didn't hear me-
INDIGNANT Actress-The idea that
people should be allowed to hiss in the
theaters It's perfectly outrageousl 1t
is simply infamous to allow kissing.
Husband and Manager-There, my
dear, calm yourself. Don't become
hiss-terical about it.
MISS MAGRUDER--.Yo say that tall
handsome man over there is real for
eign lord, Mr.. Maginnis. How do you
know? Maginnis-Yes, Miss Magru-
der, I'm quite sure he is. He has the
rooms next to mine at the hotel and 1
hear him Seating his wife every morn
jag.
"WHY is it that Cawdle has such q
gait? He acts all the time as if he
were walking on tiptoe." "Well, you
see he had three babies in quick sue
cession up at his house, and the poor
fellow actually can't break himself of
going around as if he were afrid of dis
turbing somebody"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

Addison-See how a Christian can
die.
Arria--My Petus, it is not painful.
Louis XIV,-Why weep yet Did
you think I should live forever? (Then
after pause): thought dying had
been harder.
Byron-I must sleep now,
Charles Ii, (of England Don't let
poor Nellie starve. (Nell Gwynne.)
Charles TX of Fra2ce-Nurse, nurse,
what murder, what blood Oil 1 have
done wrong. God pardon me,
Chesterfield = Give Dayrolles o
chair.
Columbus-Lord, into Thy hands
commend my spirit.
Lady Jane Gray and Tasso also used
the same words.
Cromwell-My desire is to make
what haste l may to be gone.
Demouax (philosopher)-You may 90
home, the show is over.
Lord Elden-It matters not where
am going, whether the weather be cold
or hot.
Fontanelle--I suffer nothing, but
feel q sort of difficulty in living longer.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05
Chicago,s Millionaire.

The man who told me this story had
something to say about "Old Hutch"
of course. never talked to Board
of Trade man ten minutes without
hearing something about the remarka,
BILE old man. He seems to be as per-
sistent in getting into mems minds
and on their tongues as was Charles
l. in Mr., Dicks Memoirs. This man
said:
"You can find old Hutch on one of
the stools at q cheap lunch-counter
down near the Board every morning of
the week. Goes in there regularly and
orders two soft-boiled eggs and rolls,
and he looks at the check as closely as
any poor clerk in town. How's that
for man with his money? Millions
and millions of wealth, ard eating Is
or 20 cent breakfast. But that's his
style. He surprised me the other day.
AS long as I've been around the Board,
never saw old Hutch wear any
thing but black slouch hat; but the
other day he appeared with one of the
new-style straws with straight, stiff
brim. Nobody could look at him with
out smiling, and the old man 'tumbled
and only wore it one day. He doesn't
care for dress, or comfort, or good liv-
ing, anyway. He has Just one passion
in life, and that's gambling. He is the
first man on the floor of the Board
always, and the last one to leave it.
Imagine, if you can, the supreme de-
light to such man of running cor
ner such as he manipulated last De-
cember. But he's almost parsimonious
in his daily life. 1 saw him at
the theater one time alone, sitting
in parquet seat without soul to talk
to. He's oner; that's what he is."-
.-n
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

HE reception at ti;e
residence of tho
American bIiniste-
was about the tall
est thing l h av Q
been at for some
time, says Bill Nye
in one OF his letters
to t h Q Chicago
Herald. The home
of Mr.. Reid is just
o II t h Q C h o IL G
Eliza and is a
palace IN ev cry
sense. The White
House actually be-
comas a wiOu am in
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

that would speak out and ask for her
hand, so she could say "yes."
Anyway 1 shall never forget tho
night / rode with Ethel from Clifton to
Englewood, and whenever L see cab
l feel like taking off my hat to it.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05
The Kings Little Joke.

A Swedish statesman recently in
Weighed most eloquently in Parliament
against oleomargamne. Next evening
he was invited to dine with the King,
who loves u joke There was only
oleomargarine on the royal table, and
the statesman literally partook there
of. AT the close OF the meal the King
asked him: well, sir, how do you
like our butter?" ut is excellent, y
replied the statesman; "the contrast
between it and artificial butter is very
marked" But" said the King, "that
is artificial butter!" The other guests
roared with laughter, but the "old par
hamentary hand" returned quick as q
flash: "Your Majesty, if one can be
deceived SO easily, there is all the
more need of strict laws against bogus
goods"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

Mr.. FREDERICK w. WEATHERLY says
that he has written something between
five hundred and one thousand songs,
of which Nancy Lee" and 1.-The Three
Old Maids of Lee are the most pop,
ular. He wrote "Nancy Lee" at Ok
ford, within an hour, while waiting for
an unpunctual pupil.
EMPEROR WILLIAM, of Germany, is
very hearty eater and drinker. He
consumes an enormous amount of meat,
beer, and-wine every day, and is never
troubled with indigestion. He prefers
pipe to cigar, and shows an ele-i
ment of greatness by detesting cigar
cites.
THE French have custom OF visit
ing the graveyards wherein their rela-
tives are buried on the 1st of Novem-
ber.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

WHAT'S in name? The riches,
Chinaman in the town of Seattle re,
joices in the disoouragirg G name of Bad
Luckee.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

%EA :::: IS: ;::::E ! e.: e.: e:
.Yep," the Postmaster answered,
placing his chin on his hand and squirt
ing yellow stream at lizard
Il am expecting letter and"
"Whut's yo' name?"
"James Henwood."
ANY kin to old Zeb Henwood that
lives down beyant the forks?"
"No."
"Same name"
"Yes, but that makes no difference"
1T mout not to you, but it does to
me-"
"How so?"
"Wal, eff you air any kin to old
Ieb you KANT git no letters outen this
office"
II tell you that am no kin to him.
but even if l were, that should make
no difference"
But it do all the same. He pizened
my pup last fall, an that settles it with
him."
II don't care anything about that
want to know if there's letter here
for me?"
"Yas, thar is one; come day befo'
yistidy."
Let me have it, please"
Not till you prove that you amt no
kin to old Zeb."
Il tell you that am no kin to him,
and also tell you that it makes no
difference whether am OF not"
Il know what you tell me-know
that as well as you do; but you amt
proved nothin' yit."
IL don't have to prove anything. You
don't know who I am"
And don't keer, nuther."
81 am United States Postoffice In
spector."
"That's all right"
Il know it is. Give me that letter"
Not till you prove what want you
to prove"
IF you don't give me that letter at
once III have you removed"
what from?"
From this postoffice."
Who'll remove me?"
The Goyernm ent."
wall, now, lemme tell you: This is
my postoffice. I built this house my
self"
But as Postmaster you are under
the Government"
mo, I amt. amt under nuttin'."
Are you going to give that letter."
Not till you prove"
What is your name?" the Inspector
asked, taking out notebook.
Bose Hicks"
"Well, Mr.. Hicks, I'll see that YOU
are removed"
"All right"
"And more than that I'll have you
arrested"
"All right"
"Pll teach you what it is to keep
back letter"
"All right"
III give you one more chance"
letter gemme two"
Mo, won't give you but one"
well, I'll shake you the dice for the
other one"
"You are fool"
"All right"
You haven't got the sense of mon
Amt compar'd myself with you yit."
IF you were to start out to look for
JOu Souiiu luu SIiTluK
branch"
"All right"
"You give me that letter now, or
you'll have trouble"
"That's me-"
"Give me that letter or I'll whale you
right here"
"I'm yo' man."
"Do you mean that you'll give me the
letter or fght?"
Halter fight, reckon, under the
circumstances"
Just about that time the Inspector
knocked the old fellow off the stump.
He got up, rubbed himself, and said
You air putty quick pusson. Eff
thar's thing 1 like it's man that amt
lazy"
He went into the house and brought
out the letter. just as the Inspector
was turning away the old fellow said:
"Thar's another letter here for YOU"
"Give it to me"
"No, not till you hit me ag'in."
The Inspector hit him again and he
brought the other letter.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

did not find it until to-day. happened
to see it to- day because it was a very
clear day, and 1 had a powerful glass
with me. The truth is sometimes disa-
greeable, but what like about it is that
when mashed to earth it will invariably
rear up again upon its hind feet and as
sert itself. The United States are poorly.
cheaply, meanly, and meagerly reprs.
sented, with few exceptions.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05
ON THE "CHONG ELIZA"
BILL NYE AMONG THE ELITE OF
THE FRENCH CAPITAL.

Dines in Mr.. Eiffers Tall Tower-White-
law Reid's Bald Head and Superb Resi-
denc-The Latter cvmos High, but uo
Had to Have 1t.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

THERE is something nice about bal
ance of trade. For instance, farmer
comes to the city loaded with hay and
retnrns home loaded with rye.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

KNowLEDaE, Ike religion, must be
experienced in order to be truly known.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

Germany's army last year cost $121,-
061, 900.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05

SoNa of the dry-goods clerk SWING
ing in delaine.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-09-05
A POSTOFFICE BOSS.

HE follow
j n g sketch
'is from the
pen of Opie
Pope Read,
the inimit-
able humor-
i $ t of the
A1' Il ansdaU
TraUc'er:
The Post
m q S t e L at
Oak L l a t
was sitting
on q stump
in front of
h is door
when u we'll
d l. g s $ e d
S t r a II G g +
came up and
asked if that
w ere t h o
po.stoffice.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1889-11-05
Oyerhauling History.

The old story books made US believe
that on April 20, 1775, Israel Putnam
was plowing in his field, when a mes
senger arrived in hot haste with news
of the battle of Lexington, and that
the hero farmer unyoked his oxen and
left them 10 their fates mounted horse
and was off to the north without so
much as saying "good-by' to those Of
his house.
And were We not brought up in IT,.
belief that this line
They left the plowshare in tho mold,
was inspired especially by his casel
And have not We, all of US, essr
since our childhood been familiar With
s.ctures representing him plowinL,
clad in frock rs long rs anightgowo,
.rhich no farmer could wear at any
kind Of work without imminent and
unacceptable peril of being tripped up
at every step he took-to say nothing
of turning a furrow, when he would
be indeed fortunate if lac did not find
himself under the plowsharel
And TO know that after many
years that there was nc plow in the
sase-to find out that that, too, is a
myth
II was, indeed, the day after the
fght at Lexington, in the morning,
and Israel Putnam was at work on his
farm in Pomfret, Conn. But he was
building q stone wall, with his hired
Hen; and he had on a leather frock
and apron-the frock must have been
a short one; fancy one Of that ma
terial coming to his heelsl lie took
off the apron, but did not wait to
change the check shirt he had worn
in the field, and was off without de-
lay. He rode the same horse 100 miles
in eighteen hours and reached Cam
bridge at sunrise the next morning.
Wide Awake.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1889-11-05
"Gentie Carriage Exercise"

A mourning coach, forming part Of
a funeral procession, bound for High
gate, was stopped the other day in the
neighborhood of Oxford street by a
melancholy looking gentleman, attired
from bead 10 foot in black. There was
room for one inside, and the melan.
choly looking gentleman entered,
and, without uttering any Of the COM
nonplaces customary Oh such occa-
sions about the variety and uncertain
ty Of life, maintained a grave and
decorous silence. Arrived at the
cemetery gates, the late come' got
out, and seemed about 10 retrace his
steps toward town, when the under
taker pointed out TO him that he was
walking away from the place OF
burial. You are one Of the rela-
tionsi' suggested the funeral furnish
er. "No, am not" was the reply.
"You are at least an intimate friendf
Nothing OF the kind" "Only a cas-
ual acquaintance, thenl' Never saw
the man in my lifeT The departing
one then explained that his doctor
had recommended him gentle car
7iage exercise" and that lie was in
the habit of taking it in mourning
coaches, which, he said, moved at a
moderate pace and made no charge.
London Life.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1889-11-05
She Won the Umbrella

w. J. Norris, prominent merchant
Of our town, thought 10 back down
one Of our young ladies would be a
nice thing, so made her the follow
ing proposition recently: That II she
would take a little ten cent par
asol, which is about the size Of a
palmetto fan. hoist il and walk up
Main street certain distance and re.
turn, carrying it over her all the way,
that he would reward her with silk
umbrella. She at first hesitated, but,
after making numerous futile at
tempts, finally made off with the lit
tie mushroom shaped concern held
aloft over her graceful form. She re
turned in a few minutes bearing O
note with the signatures Of "A number
OF the clerks attached stating that she
had passed by or arrived at their
stores with the parasol in position.
Mr.. Norris gracefully turned over the
umbrella 10 its rightful owner, and
the young lady departed with two
umbrellas instead Of one. Mr.. Norris
will hardly make another such Offer
soon. Warrenton (Ga.J Clipper.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1889-11-05
Plenty Of Trees.

The Timberman does not seem
alarmed at the prospect Of an early de-
struction of our timber supply. Ii as
serts that Puget sound has /, 800 miles
Of shore line, and all along this line,
miles and miles farther than the eye
can reach, is one vast and almost un-
broken forest Of enormous trees The
forests are so vast that, although the
sawmills have been ripping 800, 600, 900
feet OF lumber out Of them every year
for the past ten years, the spaces made
by these inroads seem no more than
garden patches. An official estimate
places the amount Of standing timber
In that area at 800, 000, 900, 600 feet, or
q thousand years supply, even at the
enormous rate the timber is now be-
ing felled and sawed The editor adds
that the timber belt of Washington
territory covers an area equal 10 that
OF the states Of Vermont, Massachu-
sets, Connecticut and New Hamp-
shire scientific American.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1889-11-05
A Criticism.

II one were TO shave the hair Of
your Hercules there would not be
skull enough left to hold his brain;
Il says that it is impossible to distin-
guish whether his features are those
ola man or Of something between a
horse and an OK; the face, too, is
turned away from the action Of the
figures, and is so badly set upon the
neck, with such poverty Of art and so
Ill a grace. that nothing worse was
ever seen; his sprawling shoulders
are like the two pommels of an ass
pack saddle; his breasts and all the
muscles of the body are not betrayed
from a man. but from big sack full
of melons set upright against wall.
The loins seem to be modelled from
a bag of lanky pumpkins; nobody can
tell how his two legs are attached to
that vile trunk; it is impossible to say
on which leg he stands or which he
uses TO exert his strength; nor does
he seem 10 be resting upon both, as
sculptors who know something of
their art have occasionally set the fig
ure. II is obvious that the body is
leaning forward more than one-third
of a cubit, which alone is the greatest
and most insupportable fault commit
ted by vulgar, commonplace pretend
ers. Concerning the arms. they say
that these are both stretched out with.
out one touch of grace or one real
spark of artistic talent, just as il you
had never seen naked model. Again,
the right leg of Hercules and that OF
Cacus have got one mass of flesh be-
tween them, so that if they were to be
separated. not only one OF them, but
both together, would be left without
calf at the point where they are touch.
ing They say, too, that Hercules has
one Of his feet under ground, while
the other seems TO be resting on Goals.
-Benvenuto Cellini-Symonds
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1889-11-05

Queen Victoria is in the habit Of
keeping rooms which have been occu
pied by deceased relatives locked up.
The apartments at Claremont in which
the Princess Charlotte died more than
seventy years ago are closed. and no
body is allowed TO use them. Prince
Albert's apartments at Windsor, o.
borne and Balmoral are all kept pre-
cisely as they were when he was alive,
and ON the wall Of the room in which
he died there is a tablet, with an in
scription recording the fact that this
apartment was the scene OF his de.
mise" John Browns rooms at Wind
sor have also been closed since his
death and marked with large brass
sign. with an inscription commemo-
rating BIZ, virtues and deploring his
loss -Loi don Letter.