New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-01-20
HOW NOT TO OARRY III.

The Snowman, in explaining the panorama 10
the audience, said that Daniel could be dis
tinguished from the lions by the fact that he had
q green cotton umbrella under his arm. This ia
q surprising statement, because Daniel was an
Oriental, and consequently must have known how
an umbrella should be carried. II he rraHly had
it under his arm, where 50 many Of us are In
the habit Of putting II, the miracle of his ssfc
deliverance becomes ell the more wonderful
The average Asistic lion must have had sensi-
bities that were liable 20 be irritated by having
a brass ferrule thrust in his face, and he had
eyes Also which he was probably no more anxious
to lose than the average man who walks mp
the stairs OF the elevated roads nowadays and
lodges umbrella points all the way up. II
Daniel really had an umbrella under his arm we
are forced 70 one OF two conclusions. Either
tho Asatic HON Is, in spite OF common fame 10
the contrary, beast Of sanity disposition, who
ought 10 be classed among domestic animals, or
Daniel held the umbrella under bis arm with
such Oriental grace, born OF long practice, thai
the lions were charmed and fascinated and could
not punish him he deserved for his bad manners.
Probably this wicked European habit OF carry
ing the umbrella under tho arm simply Insults
from lack OF practice IL was only in the mid
die Of the last century that old Jonas Hanwsy
braved the ridicule Of che crowds in the London
streets by carrying an umbrella 10 keep OF the
rain. II would be unreasonable, tnlCing the aver
age duration of periods OF evolution, 10 suppose
that tho Western nations could learn how 10
carry umbrella properly in so short time
Doubtless several cycles must still elapse before
the umbrella, which Is in itself benehcent nstsu-
ment and ought 20 carry JOY and peace with it
wherever IL goes, ceases TO fill mems hearts with
evil passions, and TO lead 10 wicked strife and
even downright crime This is dcubly un-
fortunate, because al the early associations OF
the. umbrella are noble and lofty. Many ancient
sculptures show that In countries as far divided
as India and Greece 10 played an important part
in religious ceremonisls. We may be sure that
when VIshnu, In his fifth incarnation; descended
into the internal regions, or that when
the priestesses OF Athena Sciras wound
their graceful way from the Acropolis
TO the Phalerus, they did not carry
their umbrellas under their arms. but bore them
gracefully in their hands as oil well-educated
persons should do now In many countries OF
the East the umbrella was once reserved for the
use OF kings and nobles-a fact which makes our
method Of carrying il seem all the moro undig-
nifed. 1t is impossible 20 conceive Of sover-
egn who understood how to play his part-and
q successful king must be good actor-carry-
ing his umbrella under his arm
How, then, should the umbrella be carriedp
First, then, 1t should never be carried under the
arm. When not in actual use TO keep Of the
sun or rain, 10 may be used as a waTxing-stick,
but 10 do this successfully requires sldll and
discretion. II 1t should be swung too far either
forward backward, it may involve wilful
injury to the clothing Of other pedestrians. 1t
should be held gently but firmly in the right
hand, and allowed to swing just far enough TO
give an easy motion without the risk OF striking
any one, either before or behind. To carry il
over the shoulder simply amounts 10 a criminal
assault upon ones neighbor, and ought TO be
punishable with both fine aud imprisonment
There are persons who grasp il by the middle
and swing IL backward and forward as they
walk. This gives easy and natural move
ment to the arms, and is beneficial exercise, but
il is none the less dangerous practice Here
the wise man may learn something from the
dude, and IL he be In truth wise man. will
gladly do so, for it is the constant lesson of
nature that there is none OF us who NAV not
learn something from the most insignificant and
apparently the most useless of Gods creatures
When the dude carries his cane in this way, he
is careful to have his hand nearer tue ferrule
than the head, and the ferrule is carried before
him. The head bangs down behind him, and
in this way, the ferrule, which is the only part
Of the cane likely TO soil the clothing of any
person whom it might happen TO touch makes
rhythmic motion more upward and downward
than forward and backward. In this way the
dude amuses himself occupies his mind, and stimu-
lates gentle cardiac action which is beneficial
10 his health without annoying or inuring any
other person in the world.
Lastly, the umbrella should never he carried
under the arm.