Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-06-08
MIR. BOWSER AND HIS SPOUSE.
The Peculiar Pair Discuss Topics For
Conversation.

Bowser came home, and after she had gone he
asked:
'How long was Mrs. Blank here2"
"About half an hour"
Sand you talked about fashions, suppose?"
"What should we talk about2"
'Mrs. Bowser, did it ever occur to you that
there was anything in life beyond millinery
and dress goods and dressmakers?"
"How?'
'How! Why, select some subject of sense
art, science, mineralogy, the labor question or
elf-government-and discuss it with calmness
and justice and learn something worth remem-
boring for half an hour. You women folks
might as we'll have been born with pumpkin
ON your shoulders in place Of head"
made no reply to this, but determined to
catch Mr.. Bowser in his own trap before the
week was out. Fortune favored me. 1t was
only two days before neighbor called over as
he was at work in the back yard, and for two
long hours those men sat down on ladder and
discussed the question whether a back gate
should open inward or outward, and the
advantages offered by either situation. Mr..
Bowser commended for the gate opening out
ward and the neighbor for the opposite and
the discussion resulted in Mr.. Bowser getting
red clear back OF the ears and jumping up to
exclaim:
"well, let's drop the subject right here.
1here can be cranks on alley gates as well as on
politics and religion"
And there can be lunatics outside Of the
asylums," holly replied the neighbor
Don't call me lunatic!'
And don't you call me crankr'
GO home and hang your old gate to the
moon
'1ll hang it according to the rules of common
sense, and don't you forget it."
When Mr.. Bowser came in to wash his hands
observed:
MIR. Bowser, did it ever occur to you that
there was anything in life beyond hanging q
back gate?"
He replied with "humphv' of disgust.
Select some subject of sense, Mr.. Bowser-
art. science, mineralogy, the labor question or
elf-government-and discuss it with calmness
and Judgment and learn something worth re-
membering for half an hour!"
He looked around in desperate, helpless
way, and put on his hat and went off without q
word in reply. l wasn't going to let him off on
that, however. When he came home that even
ing had Mrs. Orfendorf over to supper, and
as soon as we were seated at the table queried:
Doesn't it strike you that Germany's policy
on the Samoan question is one Of Cancellation
instead OF aggression"
ut certainly does" she replied, "but there
may be hidden motive behind this seeming
submission. Trace the record of the man back
aggression or strategy
MIR. Bowser looked from one to the other of
us in astonishment.
II notice" said as I passed the biscuits.
''that the Spanish colonial policy is working
toward a radical change. Incited by the ex.
ample of other and stronger nations it is about
to extend its arms and enfold new possessions"
The stare that Mr.. Bowser favored me with
made my flesh creep.
II do 80 hope you can come down to the next
meeting OF the Woman's scientific, political
and literary club" said Mrs. Ofendorf, as she
toyed with her strawberries. Those gather
lngs are very, very interesting. At our last
meeting we discussed the Drift Period and at
the one next week we shall discuss Two pro-
posed amendments to the Constitution of the
United States
"Oh, I'd like to go ever SO much, and think
can promise you will be there. Can Mr..
Bowser come, too?"
"Well, hardly. Men take such little interest
in such things that they are distractions"
And MIR. Bowser sat there, turning red and
pale by turns, until his chair grew so hot that
he had to pretend headache and get excused.
anticipated an awful tragedy after my visitor
took her departure, but Mr.. Bowser contented
himself by saying:
Now that that shallow-pated, long old
nuisance has finally taken her leave, let's go to
bed"
He regained his assurance after a couple OF
days. however. was talking to our two-year-
old baby, and talking all mothers talk. when
Mr.: Bowser flung down his paper and ex-
claimed:
Mrs. Bowser, you make me tired talking to
that young 'un that way! No wonder so many
children grow up to be sap-headedr'
'How shall talk2"
Talk sense-the same as you would to an
adult. He's old enough to understand, and I
believe he will appreciate it,
Very well; IN try"
do"
The trial came that night. We had scarcely
got to bed when baby awoke and began to
whine. He had got cold, and was feverish.
Now, Harry" began, ''snug down and try
to go to sleep. It's nothing serious, and OBJ
ject to being kept awake"
He howled more Justify.
ingratitude astonishes me, and insist that YOU
my house. Filial respect, if nothing
"What in thunder and blazes are you talking
about3" roared MI. Bowser, as he sat up in bed.
I'm talking sense to the baby"
Not by jugful you amt"
"Then you try it."
'Tl try it by wringing his neck IL he doesn't
shut of steam! He's bowling out of spiteT"
Then warn him that you may be compelled
to infict due chsstisement, but do it calmly and
dramatically"
g! -! p
That's what Mr.. Bowser said as he Jumped
out OF bed and disappeared into the spare
room, and that was the last saw Of him until
morning.
Cuteboy's Clever Scoop.
From the Philadelphia Inquirer