New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-01-24
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Says visiting Engishman: Even the religious
press Of the United States able and fairminded IN
most respects IL unable TO resist the tendency to
nippancy which is almost universal In the States. AZ
an instance Of this recall seeing In very prominent
American religious paper. in its regular humorous
column, the following: Zero rhymes with Nero, but
they don't live IN the same place Just fancy, IL
you can, how this sort OF thing must shock English
people, in whose religious papers there rs not the
fantest gimrner of conscious humor" ~
Chance for a Prize Yst-crcat Artist.L1ost; Lost
what y,a,l Ras ss s;ssss',, IA,
TIE r ~ ssisiIns q cAs. %
and let il gos-tPhiladolphia Record
It is said that there are two ladies in pittsaeId,
Mass, each Of whom makes about $1,000 year by
giving whist lesson.
Doctor swelI-you must take trip abroad and
remain away for a year. -, a. ,ba, "a
WI po s wen you cen stay home and IN
v' Y. SSn sys Siy f5o e Rsa
hadn't thought Of that. guess III go aefosn.-
Washington Critic
says The Arizona Howisr' In order 70 opsn
mn new avenues Of humor we have decided hereafter
not TO admit any old Jokes on the meworn subjects,
except as paid matter at regular advertising rates.
Among the Jokes thus barred out are
the moshcrin-iaw Joke, the oanB-cssnier
Joke. the girl-and-theice-creasa joke the plumber
Joke, and the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES JOKE. we
shall thus be enabled to print larger number OF
our own racy local Jokes which, as every one Knows,
are vastly superior to these Eastern ehesfnuts"
Mrs Crmsonbeah--well. what dd the doctor say
Mr. Crimsonbeak-IIe said my system was out OF
What are you doing for it1,
little while '-( Yonkers Statesman.
This Is how a certain Texas Judge performs mar
rage ceremony do you and each OF you solemniy
sear that Won ara I'm earnest about is business. and
that You viii sand by each other as husband and
wife through thick and thin, sink or SWIM live or do
survive or pershlS The couple here nod, the gooms
perhaps remarking. You bet" and the thing Is done
Very Queer Young Lady.-Mrs Il, Kertones s,
sing for is-we should be SO deightedi - .
Dodd s,lscs SsRsnt q the sss b. % cola an.
I've brought my notes With me. VIII sing Win
the greatest of pleasure. - ,r.u q.
she ISN'T The gueeresi girl ever sawl Just thnk
Of iti-springfeld Union
Some Chicago himorist-not Eugene r1e,d-teiis OF
A slot machine which IS about 10 be set up IN thar
city bearing the legend Drop your husband Tor slf'
as the case may bel in the slot, and get divorce
He Had Another Engagement Miss Travis--oh: I'm
40 glad to meet you fhfs morning. Made smith
De smifh--Y0u charm me But way
Miss Travts-Nhy DO you 'hnoNt am 1sIist V
get up donkey party, bat nnd u extremely hard
10 discover suitable persons You VIII come, Won't
you Huntington Free Press.
A little Burlington VT, girl was recently ASKED
10 nams the most important production of Vermont
sUnknovh men who emigraie to other States and
become famous, her reply
A correspondent wants 10 know II 10 wouldn't 30
quite a neat figure 20 call the porCpne the cdtor
OF the brute creatOnf Well perhaps, II 10 Only esd
= littio more gain in HIS quiils- Huntington Free
Press.
ooh, wad some power the giftie gle Us,
From all our Post oniee troubles tas free usis
nournfuliy sings The Washington Crtie' Just
wait until the Ath of March, Mr. Critic. and you VIII
be able 10 sing cheerful song.
Nothing Going on.-wIfe-Golng 10 Re out iafe
again, are youi Why can't you lot your oooss 70
going on that would like ~ seei -, ~.
Husband (glancing at the set OF his necNlel-so:
nothing but spectacular dramas ana puriesqies Ano
ballets and things like that-tPhiadelphla keeon
We have all heard of buildings In Europe which arc
epics in stone but II remained for an eccentric Phl'a
deIphian TO construct remarkable structure which ne
calls poem In brckH The style OF the aontee'uro
Is a mixture Of Arsbesque and ver early American
And Il Is completely covered with stuceo work rep
resentiog eagles, animals, flowers, frut and God
desses Of Liberty.
sAh, my darling mnrmured J: Court Plaster, as
they sat on sofa In tho softly Lighted psrior ,,,
must forgive our ducky for what ne SAID 70 nuo
brother at supper table but little brother was
'ou know. What's the matter With Johnny a@n-
birdie, anyway =, ..,
Johnny from behind tse sofs,-He's all right
Toledo Blade.