The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-02-25
BRIGHT BITS.

GENIAL CUSTOMER lin cheap restaurant)-Is
the mutton broth good to-day?
High toned Waiter Don't know, sab don't
eat heah, sah,-Nelo York Weekly.
For the next III years we are to have the
figure 20" in our years. People who cannot
make a handsome curly g. therefore, had
better begin to practice understandable Jour
nal.
VERMONT MAN has started newspaper at
Jamaica, In that state, and calls it JdDldtcI
Ginger. 1t will mot help the town much, for
we imagine it viii prevent the population from
doubling up.-Yonkers Statesman.
JIEKs lat a paktYl--I don't see what's the
matter with that pretty woman over there. She
was awIuay sfrtysa little while ago, and now
she won't have anything to do with ME.
Stranger-4rh have just come in. She's my
wife--Neec York Weekly
BooTBLAcK-Shine, sir?
Countryman tsadly)-No, sonny; them boots
amt been BACKED since my poor, dear wife
died sixnonths ago. There amt much blackin
left on EN-. but what's there she put on her
elf.-PtttddetphSd Record
WIFE-I see by the society columns that Mrs.
Fatpurs9 will be at home at her residence on
CoIlingwood avenue Thursday.
Husband-Well, what of thatg II she isn't at
home in her own house, where would she be,
I'd like to know?-Totedo Blade
JAcK-Say. Gus, will you please leave your
trousers out in the hall tonight?
Gus-Good heavens Jack, what do you want
me to do that for?
JaCk-Why, the pattern is so loud that they
Ike p me awake.-1eTdS Siftings.
A PEEP INTo THE FUTURE Friendly Spirit
By-the-way, you have not met Mother Eve yet.
Let me introduce you to her.
Spirit of Anthony Comstock with averted
FACET fear | could not bear it. Isis she
properly attred?-AmericGn analyst.
THE MISS BRowNs-Oh, so glad to see you,
Mary! But we've such dreadful colds, we
can't kiss you, dear We can only shake
hands,
Fair visitor-Oh dear. how sad! hope you
haven't got a cold, Mr. Brown London
Punch
A New FIELD FOR PIRATEs-"Pa, Charley
jenkins wants me to go off with him and be a
pirate; may / 20, par
mo; there's nothing in it, my son. am sorry
TO see you take such romantic views Of life
Wait till you grow uu, and then if you feel like
becomeiag pirate organize trust. '-CatcdgO
Herald
"WHERE is the wealth of this country" ex-
claims, in thunder tones, an excited Iowa
I'm the hands of the Jay Goulds the Wander
bits, the Astors and the Standard Oil Com
panyr' This brother. will account for only q
portion Of it. The rest is in the New York state
capitol building. Chicago Tribune.
HosTEss-And so you really believe the moon
to be inhabited, professors
Prof EieuZumachen-Ah, veil, DO not say
Eat. But zere is vun moon in which zere mus
be yum man.
Hostess-And which might that be, pray?
Prof L. quitting on his party manners(-Vy,
ze-vat you call tie honeymoon Judy.
wIBBLE-Did you attend the amateur operate
performance last night?
Wahhle-Yes. l had the best seat in the house,
No. SO balcony.
Wibole-mny, it's almost impossible to hear
at all in that part of the house.
Wabble-Just so. That's what made that
seat particularly desirable. -Ierre HdUte Err
press
HE-I know I'm not bwilliant, Miss Matte,
but it's hahdly faiah to call me the missing
link as Miss Mentwell did, do you think?
Miss Mattis-Of course not, Mr.. Empte, for
you are not missing, ana haven't been all even
ing, have your
He (relieved-No, haven't, and I'll just 20
ovah and tell her so, don't you know.-WaSh-
| iaQtoa Critic
TIE Journal Of Education. asks the teachers
| DO you smile as serenely in school at the
| socable?" If anybody of sound mind can smile
| Sereu ely at a sociable-oh, the irony Of the
wordl-he ought TO be able to keep on the
| broad grin in the school room, even though the
| pupils be made up of ounces and inchoate muir
| derers. Smile at a sociable and serenely! Oh.
| this Is quite too much!-BoSton Transcript.