davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
TOMBSTONE SOCIETY.
DoINGs OF THE GAY IN ARIzoNA's
METROPOLIS.

METROPOLIS.
Special Correspondence of Life.
IT is rumored that Lmpy Jake is engaged to
an Apache half-breed. Shake, JakeI
BILL HIGGINS, of WhackerviIle. is in town
the price Of whisky has gone up 10 cents q
glass.
THE engagement between the beautiful Miss
Mollie Simpson and Mr.. Ed. Johnson has been,
suddenly broken of. Ed. was lynched last night
by vlgilantes.
SHORTY FRENCH and Rose Jenkins were
Joined in the holy bonds of matrimony at the
residence of the BRIDES father, at 10 o'clock,
last Tuesday evening. The ceremony was fol-
lowed by reception, at which the elite of
Tombstone society were present. The gifts
were numerous and costly. 1t gives us pleasure
to announce that Rose will continue to take in
washing.
OUR polite circle will grieve to learn Of the
death of "Slim Charlie" who has so long been
favorite in fashionable society. One of the
ranch boys caught him with q superhuous ace
up his sleeve last Sunday and dropped him.
We mourn our loss.
THE "Olive Branch" Chapter of the "Ari-
zona Benevolent Association held its month
ly meeting at Murphy's saloon last night. Only
three members were killed. although several
were badly knitted. 1t is thought that Presi-
dent Pete Riley will not live, as his skull was
smashed by q billiard cue, on account of de-
cision on point of order. We always thought
Pete's skull was thicker than that. The billiard
cue was turned over to the sheriff.
The ball at the SINNERS, last Saturday
evening, was one of the most brilliant affairs Of
the season. Dancing commenced at s o'clock,
and continued until old man Skinner came out
with double-barreled shotgun and swore he
would kill the next man who broke through
the floor. Many of the costumes were beauti-
full, many had never been wore before, and
many, it is hoped, will never be worn again.
The punch was excellent, and as the recipe is
fayorite one. we give it for the benefit Of our
readers: Take five gallons Of good whisky
(any whisky viii do If you can't get good),
strain through -four sieve, and drink with
tin cup. This recipe originated with old Skin
ner's grandfather, and has been in the family
ever since The entire affair was marked sue
cess. and we join in the hope that it may be
soon repeated. We may remark, en- passant.
that the body of the commercial drummer who
tried to wear suit of full dress such as is worn
in the efete East, to this affair, started back to
st. Louis this morning.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
PERSONAL FACTS AND FANCIEs.

IT is curious fact that the name of the
county in which Jefferson Davis lives is Harri-
son.
ANDREW CARNEGIE says Scotchmen make
the best Americans. There9 is nothing like
speaking from personal experience.
MISS CARTER, California school teacher,
took half day off recently and cleaned up SIC,
900 in real estate deal before the sun went
down.
DR. OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES complains
of the prosecutions inflicted upon him by vol
unteer correspondents. Twenty or twenty-five
letters in his mornings mail is considered
light delivery, and nearly all are upon subjects
of interest to the writers alone.
ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON complains that
he found the South Sea Islanders too amiable
and cultivated to furnish him material for
piratical novel. Possibly the islanders whom
Mr.. Stevenson met have not yet been thrown
into intimate relations with the highly-ci7ilized
white man.
MRS. CLEVELAND denies that she is writing
a book translating French novel, or prepar-
ing magazine article She says that she is
fond of literature and reads as much as she
can, but she has not and never had any desire
to emulate the achievements of Rose Elizabeth
Cleveland in the realm of letters.
and Wanamaker. were born in Pennsylvania;
three, Window, Noble and Rusk, were born in
Ohio; two, Tracy and Miller, were born in New
York, and one. Proctor, was born in Vermont.
The average age of the eight men is about 56
years. Attorney General Miller is the young
est, and Secretary Window is the oldest.
Blaine, Tracy and Rusk are each about 59years
old.
Mr. R. BELLINGHAM, who has just retired
from engine-driving on the Great Northern
Railway (England), after 40 years service, has
had a. wonderful career. In lS48 he was a
driver on the railway between Paris and
Rouen. When the revolution broke out,
which caused Louis Philippe to fee, he re-
manned at his post and drove the last train
which went from Rouen to Paris prior to the
mob burning the bridge across the Seine, and
by that means cutting off railway communica-
ton with the northern provinces of France.
After that he returned to England and drove
the first train to Horncastle, and from that
time up to few weeks since he has remained
at work on the line between Horncastle and
Kirkstead. His trains have never met with
anything approaching serious accident
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
SOME CHOICE ADS.
WANTED, man. Apply everywhere.

WANTED, man. Apply everywhere.
WANTED, an oysterman; must not be clam.
A YOUNG gentleman of Cincinnati desires in
struction in the English language.
A YOUNG man, just recovered from two
years trance, would like to obtain employment
as night watchman.
A LARGE reward will be paid to the discov-
erer of the hidden talent which am persuaded
my son, aged 26 years, possesses.
HAVING purchased a magnificent meer-
schaum pipe, 1 am anxious to engage an ex-
perienced artist to color it. Must find his own
tobacco and pay for use of pipe.
A YOUNG gentleman who has about l2hours'
leisure day, not caring to lead life Of idle
ness would like to employ about two Of the
hours in some light, eongenial occupation.
A YOUNG graduate from school of journal
ism, having to come to conclusion that jour
nalism does not offer sufficiently wide q field
for the exercise of his talents, will take Job in
a grocery. Address Commerce.
A POOR, down-trodden lady, in compliance
with the brutal demand of tyrannical hus-
band, will dispose of her pet pug dog. As the
dear little love has been reared in the lap Of
luxury, only those who can guarantee It .
happy, comfortable home and the kindesr tIeat-
ment need apply.-4Nel0 York EUenflg Sun.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
AN UNLUCKY ESCAPADE.
A 'Longshoreman Pawns His sweetheart's
Ring and Gets Gloriously Drunk.

A 'Longshoremnn Pawns His Sweetheart's
Ring and Gets Gloriously Drunk.
Special Telegram to The Dispatch.
NEW YORK, March Civilian Van Salzan,
a lbrawny 'longshoreman, with two black
eyes, a badly torn scalp and tattered
clothing, told Harlem Police Justice,
this morning, how the widow CHEERING
and her young daughter knocked him out in
their restaurant last night The original cause
of the row was an engagement ring which Van
Salzan gave the widow when she promised to
marry him. several days ago. Yesterday noon
he got back the ring, for the ostensible purpose
of having wedding inscription engraved in it,
pawned II, got bowling drunk on the proceeds,
and, returning to the widow Gherlings
restaurant at midnight, told her all about his
escapade. His prospective stepdaughter
smashed milk jug over his head. and the
widow threw him down and fell on him.
Two policemen, who entered the restaurant
ten minutes later, found the floor covered with
broken crockery and furniture Behind The bar
lay Van Salzan and the two women. twisted up
in hard knot. and pummeling each other for
dear life. Mrs Gherling was very anxious this
morning to get back her lover and forgive him.
The Justice remanded him, however, for fur:
ther examination.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
TAKEN FROM LIFE.

The theatrical manager is known by the
company he keeUs.
Suburban Housekeeping-Domestic (who
has been catechlsing prospective mistress)-Well.
Mrs. Sharply, you have rather a bad name among
the gurls in the town, but Oi think III give you .
try.
Easily Observation-Disclosures husband Cat
dinner)-Isn't the room very warm, my dear?
Chicago wife-I don't wonder, my dear you
ind the room warm, sitting there with your
coat on.
A REVISED VERSION.
Oh, my love is like red, red rose
In the winter o. the year:
And that, every lover knows,
Is very, very dear.
Too Frivolous-The Philosophers Wife
-LioneL which do you consider of the greatest
importance Of the final questions OF life, the
'qhave been'' or the might have been?,'
The Philosopher tsadly)-The coal bin.
A Bad Errand-Mr. Gibbs (meeting his
fsther late at night)-Where are you going At this
time Of night John? On no good errand, III
warrant.
JOhn-No. sir; was going to look for you.
Aunt Deborah (religiously)-Woet to the
who marries those Flybelle girls; for they
toll not. neither do they spin
Miss Daisy-Oh, Aunt Deborah. You wrong
them, indeed you do! l meet them often at
dances.
Corroboration-Said Paddleford to his
wife on the way back from the museum: 81 am
firmly convinced that women have an innate, nat
ural, constitutional love OF the horrible"
stood thing for you!' she retOrted, "or you
might have been bachelor to your dying day."
Explained at Last-Mabel (passiag the
Whippersnapper CIub)-Mamma, dear, what do
all those men always sit in that window for,
wonder?
Mrs. N.-They SIT in that window, pet, in order
to let all Of US see that they have that window
SIT in.
Like Father, Like Son-Madame Paine
Don't you think Miss Grace is a very bright little
lady2
DR.. Paine (dryly)-Yes; often too bright. I
sometimes wonderif her humor does not amount
to a disease.
M D., Jr. e years oldJ-Perhaps she has
Bright's disease. papa.
NOT ACCORDING TO HoYLK
''Must trump or follow suit, said be;
To this she said. and struck him mute
ssWhen hearts are trumps / cannot see
why anyone should follow suit. >,
She led a heart; his trump fell on,
And thus nil both their hearts were eona.
And when the happy game vas done
They both concluded both had wont
All frOm LGdEI
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
CAUGHT ON THE GRIP LINE.

He smoked the deadly cigarette,
And IL he could, he'd now regret
But he can't.
For he's gone where the angel sings.
He is sailing now on wings,
Oh, my, what horrid things
Are those deadly cigarettes.
Vandy-Where are you going with that grip?
Zandy-To Philadelphia.
Vandy-Busness or pleasure?
Zandy-To keep lent.
swelldom-Do you see that young lady over
there, dressed in bright redg
Tandom-Yes, what about her?
swelldom-she is one of our greatest bellies; why,
do you know, even the blind admire her.
Tandom-I don't doubt 1t; she is loud enough.
]. g. B.-Ben, who have you slated for the
Court of st. James?
Ben-Why, Jim, Ihavn't given it a thought.
J. G. B.-Well, Edgar Thompson is the man for
that place.
Ben-What Edgar Thompson is that, JimP
j. G. B.-Ben, you surprise me. DO you mean
to say you don't know my dear friend, Edgar
Thompson, author of 'Trtumphant Democracy?,,
Ben-That's what l mean, and what's more,
think the country had enough triumphant democ-
racy the last four years to do It for alifetime.
You may call again, jim.
He got the dude in lonely place,
On very fimsy pretense,
He knocked him down, and took his all,
Which was % and no sense.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
NOBLE ANCEsTnRs TO ORDER.

There has never been any particular diff
1eulty in man of even moderate means
procuring enncblement Titles of nobility
are to be had for song in Italy, Spain and
in lots of the smaller European States.
But it has always been distinct drawback
in the requirement of nobility that ones
ancestors had to stay plebeian. Ancestors
have an awkward way of keeping out of
our reach. We cannot make them dukes
by any expenditure Of hard dollars, and tits
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
OPENED TO SLOW MUSIC.
The Second Trial of Boodler Kerr Begins
in Dramatic Manner.


in n Dramatic Manner.
Special Telegram to The Dispatch.
NEW YORK, March 6-The second trial of
Thomas B. Kerr. accused of buying the fran
chise of the Broadway Surface Street Railway
from the City Council for S5O0000, in 1884,
opened dramatically to-day. Ex-Judge Noah
Davis, who sentenced Boss Tweed 10 years ago.
John H Bird and Colonel Robert 6. Ingersoll
appeared for the prisoner. Colonel Fellows
and two assistants conducted the prosecution.
The courtroom was crowded with well-dressed
men and women. who remained quite still
while THE District Attorney told how Doodle
Aldermen were bought. Ex-Alderman Full
graft. the informer, once more told the story of
the big deal on the witness stand, hesitatingly
and fearfully. His hair has grown white and
his shoulders have become round since he last
testified in the Doodle trials.
The first trial of Kerrwas concluded last MAY.
the jury standing for conviction and for
acquittal. Later in the day Colonel Eel
lows explained to the Judge that he was not
feeling well, was threatened with pneumonia.
and temporarily withdrew from the case.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

THE assertion that Alger was the cause
of shutting Michigan out of the Cabinet, on
the ground that if he could not get the
position no other man should, allows the
hope that it will be appreciated in
Michigan to the extent of making the
barrel candidate unpopular.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
Why the Sugar Trust Smiles.

From the New Ork WOrloi
The proposed ruin Of all sugar men and inter-
ests by the introduction of "saccharin," the
new chemical sweet, seems to have been post
poned. Sacccharin is over 800 times as sweet
as cut-loaf sugar. but also 400 times as expen-
sive. 1t has the advantage of being an anti
fermeht and of being harmless to diabetic pa
tients, but its present great cost of production
is a bulwark behind which the Sugar Trust
still sniekers
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
EDUCATORS CONSULTING.
Important Subjects Under Discussion ar
Meeting in Washington.

WASHINGTON. March ga meeting of the
Department of Superintendent of the Ma
tional Educational Association was held at the
hall of the National Museum to-day. Intro
ductory remarks were made by the President,
Fred NJ. Campbell, Superintendent OF Schools
at Oakland CAL, and an address of welcome
was made by J. w. Holcomb. Chief Clerk of
the Bureau of Education, Washington, d. Q.
session was Training of Teachers"
Addresses on special subjects were made by
Nicholas Murray, Butler. N. Y; W. B. jack
man, Pittsburg;. W. B. Powell, Washington;
A. G. Lane, Chicago; John Hancock, Ohio;
Henry Sabin, Iowa; F. f. Higbee, Pennsyi-
vania; ;sJ ohm W. Dickinson. Massachusetts,, and
G. M, Woodward, Missouri
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

The moon reaches her highest altitude 10
49, on the 11sh; her lowest. 30 1V on the 24th
She Is farthest from the earth on the 9th, when
her apparent diameter is 29 ST.; nearest on the
21st, when her apparent diameter is 32 31f'.
The moon is in conjunction with Mars on the
3d. at 6:58 P. M. Mars being 90 02' north; with
Venus on the 5th, at $40 A. NJ, Venus being 80
So north; with Neptune on the 7tb, at 8P NJ
Neptune being 20 90 north; with Saturn on the
l4th, at lilo A. NJ, Saturn being 1900 south;
with Uranus on the 18th, at S:1S P, M
Uranus being 40 A. south; with Jupiter on the
24th, at IA. NJ. Jupiter being Az south: with
Mercury on the 29th, at 7:0l A. NJ, Mercury be-
ing 20 or north. BERT E LUTY.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

THE Count di Montercole appears to have
come to this country for the purpose of de-
claring that he has q castle; but it is safe to
predict that he cannot raise any money on
1t until he produces the title-deeds.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

MILAN's abdication is an unexpected
stroke Of good sense from that disreputable
monarch. When the details are given it
will probably be discovered that the abdica-
ton was of the same involuntary sort as
Edgerton's retirement from public life.
Alexander and Milan retire simultaneously
to the delights of private life.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

IT is to be remembered as a credit to the
Fiftieth Congress, that the amendments
which it made to the Interstate Commerce
law, were not the amendments which the
railroads tried to get, in order to reduce the
law to nullity.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

CERTAINLY itwould appear that the rain
soaked Inauguration sightseers would join
the also dampened inauguree in urging
that the date of Inauguration be changed
to April 80. Get the Constitutional amend
ment ready hY 1893.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
Harry Campbell.

Harry Campbell Of Park Bros. Company
Steel Works, who was very well known in this
city. died yesterday morning at his home in VIII
kinsburg, Of apoplexy. He was o member of
Knap,s battery during thelate war and at its close
he came home with the brevet OF Major. His wife
is q sister of Mrs. Sol Schoyer,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
An Oakland Concsrr.

A pretty vocal and instrumental concert will
be given in the Oakland NJ. e. Church, Thurs
day evening" March IA.
Such well-known and favorite musicians as
Mrs. Mellor, Mrs Cora Sellers, Miss Bella
Toner, Miss Annie Van Kirk and Messrs. G.
c. Mellor Louis ]. Keidel and William A.
McCutcheon will furnish the entertainment.
1t is to begin at o'clock, and the proceeds are
to be turned TO the benefit of the curch,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
DEATHS OF A DAY.
Hon. C. A. Black.

wAyNEsBuRG, March 6.-Hon. c. A. Black died
at this place to-day. He was born in Greene
county in 1908 and was admitted to the Waynes-
burg bar in 1872. The same year he was elected to
the State Senate, serving SIX years. He was Secre-
tary of State under Governor Bigler, and was the
first State Superintendent Of Public Schools in
Pennsylvania. In 1872 lie was elected to the Con-
stitutionAl Convention at Philadelphia. He was
father-in-law Of Judge Inghram, of the Greene
Fayette judicial district.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

THEPacifc coast gives notice that it is so
much aggrieved over being ignored in Har-
rison's Cabinet that it is doubtful whether
the Central Pacific will accept a receipt for
its debt to the United States Government as
q free gift
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

THE hopelessness of teaching the French
nation the national games appears when we
consider that Gallo ideas of honor will re-
quire duel every time that anyone is
moved to call the umpire liar.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

PERHAPS after Riddleberger has ceased
to be factor, it may occur. to the Republi-
can leaders that the political deal BY which
they gave Riddleberger prominence, seven
years ago, has not proved especially credi-
table to them,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
WASHlNGTON'S HATCHET.
How the Story of the Cherry Tree Was
Mangled by Some Young Hopefuls.

From Life.i
"Now children" after reading the old story
of Washington's exploit with the hatchet.
''write me all you can remember of that pretty
story have just read to you"
THE RESULT.
SLATE 1. (1eddy, eight years old)-Georg
Washington is our father did he tell lie no he
never did he did 1t with is hachit.
SLATE II. (Ethel seUen)-gorge washinton
was the fsther of is contre hes father sed did
you do it he sed wud not lie did it with mi
Hathit and then he busted is teers.
SLATE III. (Geordis, nine)-George Wash
ington is the father of our country and he did
it with his hatchit and he said father did it
did the boy deny it no did he try to put it on
some other feller No He did not tell no lie he
bust into tears.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

The declaration made four years ago that
''the Confederacy is in the saddle once
more" now requires amendment. 1t has
shifted its quarters from the saddle to the
soup.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
PICKED UP IN GOTHAM.
Dependency Lends to Death.
rNEw YORK BUREAU Specialist

NEW YORK. March 6.-Charles A. Hopf,
Brooklyn drug clerk 81 years old, took an over
dose of morphia, late last night, and died this
morning. In his pocket was found this curious
letter:
To the Coroner: =
DEAR sIR-To avoid having the names OF promi-
nent society people published in the papers. re-
fuse to make statement in regard to my suicide.
Only one request haveto make, namely, that my
remains Should be taken to some medical college
and placed on the dissecting table. Trusting in
you that this, my last request, will be promptly
executed, am.
Very respectfully yours,
CHARLES A., HoPF.
Hopf was in good circumstances Despond-
ency, induced by the death of his wife and
children, is supposed to have led him to
suicide.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

ACTIVE politicians who are now picking
out the consulates which they think will
suit them, will, in about sixty days, be in
specting the lists of messengerships in the
Treasury
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
Francis v. De GriselIi.

DUBUQUE, iowa. March 6.-Francis v. Dc
Griselli died at Storm Lake on Sunday and was
buried at Centralia in this county, yesterday. DE
GriscliN was the, Private Secretary of General
Montellot who was with Napoleon i. at ST, He
lena. He was with Napoleon in II campaigns
and was banished by Napoleon III. in 1858. He
spent six months In Eng land and came from there
to DUBUQUE,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

AFTER all there is a suspicion that Rid
dleberger's most vital mistake was in con-
verting himself into tank drama ahead
Of date. Had he waited until Monday, he
would have been in the most approved style.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
NOW LET HIM DIG A GRAVE.
An Ohio Farmer Buys Coffin and a MOnu-
ment for Himself

EVANSVILLE. March Gan old gentleman
named Smith. of Falls township, came to the
city to-day and bought coffin, paying $50 for
it and taking a receipt. The coffin is to be de-
livered when he dies. he then visited the
marble works and selected monument for
which he paid So He is wealthy and in good
health, but declares he feels better now that he
has those little matters attended to.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
nf.,,,h.,,, Fn,.,,,,n,,.,,

The members of the Knights of the Maeca-
bells at Millvale will give supper and enter
tainment in the Opera House at that place this
evening Lillian Burkhart and other elocu-
donists will be present.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
English Money May Finish the Tunnel.

lis reported to-day that q company of Eng
lish capitalists has been formed to continue the
construction of the tunnel under the North
River, from Hoboken to this city. After push
ing the tunnel distance of S05 feet under the
river. worlowas stopped in the summer OF 1887,
for lack of funds. The cost of completing the
tunnel, according to the company's engineers,
will be about s. 100000. If this sum is availa-
BILE the work can probably be completed within
Is months.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07

THERE may not be much money in the
coal business; but Pittsburg managed to
keep up her record by shipping trife of
5000, 600 bushels to the down-river towns in
this freshet.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-07
Two Qunrts of whisky KILLED Him.

PHILADELPHIA, March 6-Alcoholism was
found by the Coroner's jury yesterday to have
caused the death of William Pearson, of Broad
street above Diamond, who died suddenly on
Monday. He drank two quarts of whisky in
the "a hours preceding his death.