St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
A Sunday Pleasure Excursion
at a Sylvan Retreat Near
Detroit.
The Old Lady Brings Mr.
BoWSep to Time
Nicely.
Detroit Free Press.


ready to oppose anything suggest"
Il am not opposing you; only you
know that the boats are always crowded
on Sunday and one is apt to meet with
many lawless characters. have heard
you say that the place was III possession
of a mob all day Sunday"
Never! In the contrary 1 have al
ways boosted of how orderly it was. L
guarantee that you can go up there
alone and stay all day and you will be
treated like queen"
''Well, if you think we had best go,
why -
''Of course I do. 1 think little trip
on the water will do us all good, and at
the island we will seek some sylvan re-
treat and enjoy the beauties of the sur
roundings."
land you-you won't get mad?"
''Mrs. BOwser, what do you mean?"
''If things do not go right you won't
scold and blame everything on me?"
"Have you gone mad? When did l
ever blame you? If you suspect that
you are getting softening of the brain
let me know, and I'll have medical
examination"
After dinner next day we made
start. think Mr.. Bowser started with
the firm determination to keep his good
nature at every hazard, but something
occurred almost Immediately to upset
him. The street car was jam full and
running over, but it stopped and we
wedged our way in. In the squeeze some
one stepped on Mr.. BOwser's corn; some
one also knocked his plug hat off, and a
third person was heard to remark that
if he weighed ton he would charter a
special car when he wanted to ride.
This put Mr.. BOWSer in trim to say to
the conductor:
ssDoes the manager of this line think
we are lot of hogs that we can be
packed in an old car this Way?"
Don't know, sir.
''Then you'd better find out! It's an
insult to decent people, and | for one
don't propose to submit to it,"
THAI riZe, ole feTr!" shouted a halt
drunken man from the front of the car.
go IN, old bay Window" added a
second.
Ten to one on old Bowser," yelled
man from the rear platform.
We finally got down to the boat. 1t
was black with humanity, and | didn't
want TO 60, but Mr.. BOWSer elbowed
people right and left, and | followed.
After being crowded, pushed, jammed,
squeezed and knocked about for ten
minutes l got a chair which a drunken
man had just fallen off, and Mr.. BowSer
found standing room beside me.
Il told you thought the boats would
be crowded." l remarked as soon as l
could get my breath.
"Well, that shows all you know about
it. There's no crowd on this boat. She
could carry as many again."
But what rough set Of peOple?''
sNo rougher than we are. You SIM
ply want to find fault and make me I'M
comfortable"
Just at this moment tough came up,
looked MIR. BOwser over from crown to
heel. and then said:
You look like the bloke who threw
mud at me little sister last May"
Sir! You are mlstakenW replied
Mr.. BOwser.
'What er you doin' wild all that stole
On?" demanded the tough, as he brought
his arm around and gave Mr.. Bowser's
hat ''Swat" which sent it flying to the
deck.
Mr.. Bowser grabbed him, and there
would have been fight had not num-
Der of men interfered. When the hat
was recovered it had shoulder blade
and three ribs broken, and in the brief
clinch the tough had torn Mr.. Bowser's
necktie.
PPM so sorry we came," said, as /
got chance to speak to him. ''You
know told you | thought it would be
very unpleasant"
"Yes. of course you are sorry! You
can't bear to see me enjoying myself!
wasn't aware that anything unpleasant
had occurred"
In getting off the boat at the island
some one stepped on my dress skirt and
nearly tore it off, while Mr.. Bowser's
hat was crushed down over his eyes,
and some one picked his cigar case out
of his eoat-tail pocket. We finally got
out of the crowd and wandered away
until we reached shady spot, and then
it did seem as if we might take some
comfort. [ began to express my sym
pathy for MI. BoWser, when he turned
on me with:
when / want to be condoled with
| had a real good time, and | don't want
| to hear any more kicking about it."
"ThiS is the sylvan retreat you spoke
| of. [ suppoSe?' | remarked as | looked
around and saw cigar stubs, playing
! cards, pretzels. beer-bOttle corks, and a
rusty old corkscrew lying on the grass.
He didn't say. He was going to when
| a couple of young men came that way
and stopped and asked Mr.. Bowser for
match to light their clay pipes. He
| didn't have any, and one of them said !;
well, yer needn't be so crusty about
| it. We are just as good as you are"
"And a blamed sight better, Jimr'
| added the other. ''I've seen this old
bungee up here every Sunday this sum-
mer, and he's always had different
woman with him! He's up to snuff,
and don't you forget it"
Mr.. Bowser jumped up, but both of
| them piled on to him and l screamed
| and brought assistance. They split his
| coat I'D the back, tore his collar off and
| tore three buttons off his vest, and as
| they went away they threatened to come
back and finish him off.
| MIR. Bowser," | said, after the crowd
| had started, hadn't we better go
| homer
"NO. ma'am. we hadn't l came I'D
here to enjoy myself, and Pm bound to
| do So"
| l coayed and argued, but he was OBJ
| Stinate, and pretty soon something else
happened. A gang of five or six men
came along, ripe for mischief, and one
| or them nalteQ DeIOre MI. bOWSer anu
inquired:
"Shay, ole fel, 1 lost a dollar here
about an hour ago and you picked it
up"
You are mistaken, SIR"
Course he did" put in a second
tough, land he's got to give it up"
II haven't seen anything of your dol
lar!" holly replied Mr.. Bowser, and the
gang was making threats when ran for
help.
Before l got back they had rolled Mr..
Bowser on the grass, taken all his
| change away. and cuffed him about un-
| til he presented sad sight. Then the
policeman who had come too late adj
| vised him:
''Say, old man, you'd better go home.
| You've had five or six rows within an
hour, and l shall have to run you in if
| you don't leave. You are evidently a