The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-09-02
BRIGd BITS.

"
LATE HOURS tell on a man, but he doesn't
seem to care as long as they don't tell his wife.
-Yonkers Statesman
1T would seem that when seamen get tired of
ships fare they would try to gather some ocean
currents-Binghantton Republican.
The man who kicked collector out of
his Office remarked that if he couldn't foot his
bills one way he would anotner.-Ked neg
Enter prise.
THAT the hen is hypocrite is proved by the
fact that she uses her bill to smell with If that
IS not Peck sniffian trait what is it?-Hdrper's
BdzGr.
Mr.. SLICKTUNG-Miss Sharp if / were to turn
TO stone what m do you think | would be?
Miss Sharp-Probably an oil stone.-Jelcelers'
WeeaJ.
THERE is an art of pulling on gloves" saws a
fashion paper. Come to think of it. you have to
get your hand in as it were in putting on a
glove properly.-BoSton Courier.
WHILE man supposed to be loaded is being
examined he cannot be dischar g /: but the
moment the charge is withdrawn he imme-
dlately goes of.-BdltimOre american.
HADN'T A CHANCE TO Form AN Op1NIoN.-Mrs.
Gadabout-What kind of neighbors are those
who have moved next door to you?
Mrs. Kewerious-I dou't know. They haven't
had washout on the line yet Boston Courier
SECOND SIGHT-Genial Host-Pathrick. me
bhoy, you've had quote enough to dhrink
Take me advice; WHEN you get to the too of
the street yen see cabs; take the first be-
cause, begorra, there's only one !-Funny
Folks.
STERN PARENT-Young man, am ashamed of
you; and you son of mine. You ought to have
a keeper over you.
Son Make it a barkeeper, governor, and I'll
go you.-Kedrney EaterDrlSe.
JoBLoT-See here, Isaacs thought YOU said
you would warrant these trousers to wear.
lsaacs-So did
Joblet-Well, look at them. I've only worn
them two weeks and you can see through the
cloth.
Isaacs-I warranted them to wear, didn't 1?
Joblot-Of course you did.
lsaacs-Vull, amt dey worn? Wot's de
nader mt you?-ChicG0O american.
THIS seems like a sweet dream" he raptur
ously remarked as he fingered with her at the
door step.
1T doesn't seem like dream to me. she re-
piled, for dream soon vanishes you know"
He vanished.-AkrOn Telegram,
DocToR-How would you like some animal
foods '-i'''-
Invalid-Animal food? Well. l don't care
for any hay or grass, but I guess if could
worry down little rye I'd feel better.-Teras
SiftiagS.
-, STEPHEN" said the colonel, speaking to an
old negro who had come out to cut the grass in
the yard, Il am told that you intend to give
your son a good education"
OATS whut does, sab. I knows whut it is
ter struggle erlong widout rarnin', an | is
termned dat nv son shan't travel BAREFOOT
ober de same flint-rock road dat | did,
"A noble resolution, Stephen. There is some
thing beautiful in the uncutivated mind that
has reverence for knowledge. Is your boy
learning rapidly?"
"Ez fast ez er boss kin trot sah wy last
week he writ er letter ter his aunt dat libes mo-
den twenty miles frum yere, an att4r while he
gwlne write ter his udder aunt dat libes fifty
miles erway"
Why DOESN'T he write to her now?'
on he KANT write so fur yit. He ken write
twenty miles firSt-rate. but lie him not ter
Try ter write fifty niles till he got stronger wild
hls pen. But he gwine ter git dar, | tell you.
Won't be tDo'n er year TO- dat boy ken set down
at one eend o de guberment an write er letter
cIar to de udder eend "-ArknnsG,c Traveller