Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-03-13
DOWN In INDIANA.
Proceedings Of a School Meeting
in the Sugar Creek District.
SuntIry Wise Comments ON Love and LEARN
ing Which Ends in SIX Cases of Assault
and Battery-A Picture of Rural
Life in Hoosierdom.

Life in Hoosierdom.
"We've metz said Uncle Billy Raper,
when the house had come to order, Ito 'lect
a teacher for our school this comm winter;
an want ter say right now that we want
a teacher what kin teach-a feller what kin
handle the big boys an make iem behave,
an, if they don't, why, dang it, l want
him to break their wuthless, blame necks.
We also want man (no woman kin teach
this school, nohowl who won't git head
over ears in love with one o. the big girls
and make a slam-bangin' fool o. hisse'f like
81 Miller did last year, co1rtin' Becky
Chittick right durin' school hours"
:" See here, Uncle Billy, dog my buttons,
hain't you gittin' leetle grain personal in
your Introductory remarkslr asked old
Andy Chittick, rising to his feet as he
spoke. Then, continuing, he said: Isl
Miller's a son-in-law of mine now, an
purity dod-burned blamed stiddy feller he is,
too He may have made sorter fool o.
hisse'f while him an my Becky was spark
in roun' each other, but l want you to
understan' he's all right now. 'Sides, tain't
hardly fair to mention the matter nohow.
Look at your own gal, Uncle Billy. Didn't
she marry Dock Beehammer, an didn't he
court her like thunder all that term he
taught here three years agol"
Old Andy sat down amid considerable
laughter and applause while the chairman
of the meeting grinned and good -humoredly
took the joke which had been rather abrupt
ly thrust upon him. After quiet had been
restored he continued his remarks: II low
/ did make a bad break then, but didn't
mean nothin' pussonal by it, though I'd
orter been mite more keerful. But the
pint is, we want our young 'uns to be a
! loarrint cOO1pfbins cidae finn on daxyilr ont
an what said was more speshully intend
ed for some of our young friends who are
here tonight as canerdates for this school -
LESS hear from 'emp' exclaimed old
Billy Miner, as he empted his mouth of to-
bacco juice on the red-hot stove, the angry
kissing of which nearly drowned the speak
er's tones. Il see," he continued, now
rising to his feet, ''that my friend, Josh
Bates, is here, an, as he IS er canerdate, I'd
like ter hear him toot his horn few blasts"
In response to this invitation Mr. Bates,
long, gaunt, awkwark-looking specimen
of humanity, arose from his seat in the
back part of the room, and after prelim-
mary cough or two, said:
'Gentlemen, it's true I'm not married /;
but reckon I'm old enough to know better
than to go to maxim a fool o. myself,
| Courtin' girl durin' school hours. I'd list
| like to say that if you 'lect me as your
! teacher contract to tend to my business of
| learnin' your children all l kin an let the
big girls alone"
| He sat down amid some applause and cries
/ of "Bully for Bates ''He's the feller we're
! AFTER" etc.
"That sounds like business" SAID the
! chairman OF the meeting. ''But now we'd
like ter hear from some of the rest of 'em
| Come, gentlemen" he added, " git right uI
and speak your pieces, and then We'll put
this thing to vote"
Three other candidates were present, and
in turn they each got up and frankly avowed
that the big girls had no charms for them
during school hours, at any rate, and that
if elected, they would bind themselves tc
keep order and teach the children some
thing else "'sides fun aud devilment"
When the last of the candidates ha(
spoken Uncle Billy Miner arose and said
81 move that Josh Bates be 'lected unan
imously to teach the Sugar Creek schoo
this comm WINTER
I" Hold on, Uncle Billy, amt you gittin
little too rambunctious!" asked old Andy
! Chittick, as he rose to his feet. "'Pear!
ter me it amt givin' these other younl
fellers fair show move that we perceeC
! by ballot, Mr.. Cheerman, to 'lect teacher
1 want ter see this thing done up right o.
not at all"
"Mr. Cheerman,'' yelled Uncle Bill,
Miner, "my notions afore the house. Tha
! old fool on the other side of the stove i.
! a-tryin' ter run this meetin', an I'll be
! hanged if he kin do it while am 'round. A
man that's too derned mean to give fences
with neighbor can't pull with me, arc
that settles it. As 1 said bef-"
But he did not finish the sentence. Ok
Archie had walked around the stove, anG
with welldirected blow, delivered just
behind the ear, had knocked Uncle Billy
half across the room. Confusion now en-
sued. In less than a minute the who'll
crowd was at it, fighting like pirates
boarding a merchantmen. The chairman
! wisely stood at his post and pounded and
| yelled for order, but he did not attempt tc
exercise his official functions to secure 6
cessation of hostilities. The meeting, 1t is
almost needless to say, adjourned withou,
| electing ateacher.
From the local columns of the Middle
| Fork Gazette we take the following:
Its cold day when Sugar Creek town
ship doesn't furnish the columns of the
Gazette with an item worth printing. Here
is the latest from that section: Last Sat
urday night school meeting was held al
the Sugar Creek school-house which ls sit
uated on one corner of old Billy Miners
! farm. During the meeting, which was un
usually lively throughout, Uncle Billy and
old Andy Chittick had few words, which
ended in first knock-down for Chittick
Uncle Billy, however, won first blood by
biting off goodly portion of neighbor Chit
! tick s left ear. Others then took sides and
after free light for about fifteen minutes
the chairman declared the meeting ad
/ journed. Monday morning six cases of as
sault and battery and six for provoke were
| filed before Squire Martin, and will be
| tried some time next week.
Later An item just at hand saws thai
the trustee of Sugar Creek township has
! hired Hettie BogR to teach the Sugar
Creek School Ed. R. Pritchard, in Ar
! kansaw Traveller