davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-04-25
HUMOROUS.

"A great many girls say mo- at
first; but, like the photographer. they
know how to retOuch their negatives.
Puck.
The Western newspapers relate the
case of dentist who tried to fill the
teeth of a buzzsaw. He succeeded, so
the coroner thought
-..Hello, Jones! hear that
Charley has married Miss Smith.
Who solemnized the marriage. Mr..
Textual or Parson Creed?" Neither,
my dear boy. 1t was Miss Smiths
mother. She's living with Them
Boston Transcript
-Wife-''Isn't this strange? The
paper says a North Penn locomotive
engineer left his house to be shaved a
month ago and has not been seen
since" Husband (absently)--'Um!
waiting for his turn. probably. y
Philadelphia Record.
$50. you've gone on the stage.
Miss Mash?'' yes" what part
do you takep" '.Well. IL am one of
the pages that remove the big chair
in the second act. but as soon as | can
save up money for wardrobe l shall
STAR Chicago Herald.
Now they have ''lady White
Caps" in Indiana, who send around
threatening notices to objects of their
displeasure. The extent of their
severity is not stated, but We presume
that in extreme cases they compel men
to go to afternoon teas.-Kansas City
Times
Not long ago considerable wonder
ment was expressed as to how Kaiser
Wilhelm managed to get rid of his ex-
travagantly large salary. 1t now Oc-
ours that he edits and publishes
an elaborate court journal in Berlin.
What becomes of his salary is no long
er mystery.
Two ladies from the West hap
pened to scrape an acquaintance while
waiting for connecting trains at the
Broad street station yesterday. How
long has your husband been dead?''
asked one. about year." was the
reply. '.And you are still widow?''
Eyes. His estate amt settled yet
Philadelphia Record
did you experience any feelings
of regret while the marriage ceremony
was being pcrformed?" asked one Of
the bridesmaids of the bride. as they
were leaving the church. YES" re-
piled the latter. in a whisper. ..Know-
ing that several hundred pairs Of eyes
were upon me. Ideeply regretted that
was unable to wear all the six Worth
dresses Ihad made in Paris. ''-Drake's
Magazine.
Smart Wife = Don't worry.
George ! wrote an article for the
paper to-day. showing how to get up
family dinner for one dolla-, and 1
took it around, and the editor gave me
. dollar" Husband-.sThat,s a rare
piece Of good luck. What are you GO
ing to do with the dollar?'' Smart
Wiie-'Tm going to try that recipe
myself. and zee Il II win work. IN
I. Weekly
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-04-25

to. Something that won't lit into the
.woman's funny department at all
Oh, I shan't be able to do it! I know
l shan't! I shall be obliged to break
that rule, even though I'm discharged
without q recommendation the mo.
ment after"
But she managed to keep it for two
days. On the third. Douglas, feeling
the-table that was between them be-
gin to shake, looked up to see her in .
paroxysm Of silent laughter. In vain
he shook an admonishing finger at
her. In vain she struggled to obey
the admonishing finger. Open few
her rosy little mouth. and out gurgled
the not-to-be imprisoned laugh. Then
she began to read. but Douglas
scissored away as though his life de-
pended on the number of interesting
items he secured from his exchanges
during the pext five minutes, and
scratch, scratch, scratch went the
pens in the cubby holes or rabbit
hutches. as though the lives of the
holders depended upon the number Of
words they scratched off in the same
amount of time.
The door of the sanctum opened.
Mr.. William Enderby appeared ON the
threshold. Slowly he advanced toward
the delinquent. Slowly she raised
her eyes to his face, and then, as lac
looked at her with something very
like frown, she burst out with: ''Oh!
I say. Billy, don't be SO outrageously
cross. For once the old mans equan-
unity was shaken. And no wonder,
for never before, in all the years of
his life. had any one dared to reply to
him with even suspicion of disre-
spect.
A strange look came into his face,
and for an instant he regarded Miss
Margery Burr so kecnly and steadily
the.t that impertinent young woman
almost succumbed under his gaze.
Then he turned away and descended
the stairway that led to the street
Immediately upon his departure. and
it was we'll that he did so as soon as
he did, for if he had not there would
have been a man in commissions in
each one of the semi-circled cubby
holes.
Immediately upon his departure
Miss Burr arose, donned her hat,
jacket and gloves, shook hands in the
gravest manner with Douglas, and
also departed.
Two months passed away, during
which McGregor Douglas took charge
of the "Woman's Funny Department"
thereby subjecting himself to endless
gibes and jests on the part of his COM
patriots. But he consoled himself
with the thought that the old man had
told him that it was only to be tenn
porary charge.
1t was bright June noon. As
usual, the old man and the senior edit
or had gone to lunch. and also. as
usual, when, his carriage had rolled
away chorus of whats the news,
Douglas?" from the doors of the rab.
bit hutches greeted that estimable
young man. For moment he did
not answer. His eyes were fixed in
wide-opened surprise on a society item
in paper he held in his hand. THE
news?" at length he exclaimed.
"Well, brace yourselves. Are you
braced? One-twO-three-
1.-The formal announcement has
been made of the engagement of the
lovely and talented Miss Margery Burr
to Mr.. William Enderby. managing
editor of the -.-Margaret Eytinge,
in Detroit Free Press.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-04-25

Some of the Western cities PEN
sion their public school teachers after
certain years Of service. In Wiscon-
sin twenty-one years Of faithful work
entities teacher to q pension. and
Cleveland Is considering . proposition
towards the same end.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-04-25

"A dust-bath j. the toilet OF the
hen. II Il her mode Of keeping her
BODY clean. II given . dusting-piace
she viii keep the vermin OF 4 you
VII ksep the poultry hose clean
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-04-25

Visitor whats become Of the
man who used to write all those funny
mother-in4aw stories for you? Ed
itor-"He's working for us yet-does
the market reports" visitor-''What
was the matter with his jokes. did the
people get tired of them?" Editor
..No. he got married "-Terre Haute
Express.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-04-25

-Visitor (while waiting for hostess)
And IL your mamma still in mourn
ing for your poor papa. Flossfe!
nossie-Yes, ma'am; she is vhsn she
goee out any xhere.-Epoch.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-04-25

print" said that gentleman. with more
than usual sternness. and again with
drew.
But the very next day the excessive
comicality of another joke struck Miss
Burr with such force that another peal
of laughter responded to the blow.
And again Douglas, forgetting the re-
proof of the day before, threw himself
back in his chair and prepared to
listen, and again silence reigned in the
cubby holes or rabbit hutches, and
again the witticisp was read and
again u was greeted with sounds of
appreciation. much subdued it may be
confessed. from the semicircae of UNI
seen hearers.
Lo! the result A notice printed in
large letters and placed where Il could
not fail to be seen by all parties inter-
ested: Reading of matter intended
for publication In the"-no matter
what never intended to give the
name. during Office hours strictly
forbidden
"Horrid old thing!'' said Miss Mar
gerry Burr when che behe:d it II
don't know what I'm going to do. It
will be impossible for ne to keep Ill
the funny things that pop into my head
to myself Something dreadful will
happen tome ! know. II Tn compelled
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-02-26
FLEMING's DEMAND.
He Asks for a Withheld Repor

He Asks for a Withheld Report.
Representative Fleming introduced
the following resolution yesterday aft
ernoon: .. -
"Resolved. That the secretary of the
state beard of charities and corrections
be requested to furnish this house with
the report made to said board last Au-
gust on the conduct. management and
finances of the state institutions at
Faribault. and that the said report be
printed and laid upon the desks of the
members"
Representative Young. amended that
committee of three should be appoint
ed to investigate as to said report, which
was carried. and Representatives
Young, Fleming and Wilson appointed
as said committee.
This is a report made to the board of
corrections and charities last August
which never was made public, and, al
though public document, which it has
been impossible to obtain. 1t is charac-
teristic of most of these state institution
matters that it takes interminable. pry-
ing and pushing to get at the truth.
This report shows eXtravagances, meth
DDS of conduct. ETC., at the Faribault in
stituti0ns which do not reflect credit
upon them, and yet was not included in
t e biennial report. fOrSooth. because it
was too long. The board must have
considered it private property. since a
request for it was refused. 1t is a re-
port that involves severe criticism of
the management of the Faribault inSti-
tutions, and an exposure of GER
tain extravagances and pecul-
lar methods of combining cur
rent and extraordinary funds.
1t involves an issue between the state
correctional bOald and the Faribault
managers, in W hich the latter are clearly
in the wrong. All this is of public in
terest: is public property, and ought to
be before the legislature, no matter how
much it might hurt the feelings of sem
sit.ve Faribault gentlemen. Yet it can
not he had. and the house, egged on by
this institution lobby, defeats resolu-
ton to make it public and has COM
mittee appointed to look into it, one of
the members of the committee being
the treasurer of the very board criti-
csed. Placid Mr.. Benson, who, in his
mad craze. is like the mad tailor of
England who would make the people
believe that the supreme being was six
feet high and the sun only four miles
from the earth, sat calmly in his seat,
no protests to make, nor did all of the
other economists. and SO the matter
may end unless this report is absolutely
forced before the public out of the re-
cesSes where it has lain by some one
strong enough to do it.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-02-26

well appointed library. The third is
the car .Maywood." one of the ordinary
Pullman Sleepers, a fit companion in
construction and adOrnment to the
others in the train. In this car are a
number of the friends accompanying
the president-elect. The last car is
President Roberts private car, No.
100. 1t is finished outside in dark red,
and bears the word pennsylvania" on
the cornice over the windows. A full
description of this car has already been
published in these dispatches. 1t has
been entirely refitted. and is the most
luxuriantly furnished car on the road.
1t is sixty-three feet long, and is di-
vided into four cOmpartments-kitch
dining room, sleeping apartment and
parlor. The parlor is fourteen feet in
length, carpeted with the finest of Will
ton and furnished with reclining chairs,
handsomely carved and upholstered
in brocaded wine-colored plush. The
sleeping room is furnished in oak. and
contains bed. stationary wash
stand and private closets. 1t is
handsomely curtained and fur
nished with brass, oxidized
silver, and nickel trimmings. The
dining room is furnished in walnut and
the kitchen, which is thoroughly
equipped, is furnished in hard wood.
Throughout electric bells are placed in
convenient location. The car is heated
by steam and the system of ventilation
is absolutely perfect. The platforms
are SO arranged as to allow the mem
bers of the distinguished party to view
the sceuery without suffering discom-
fort. Inside rich curtains and hand
some brass and nickel trimmings make
it appear veritabIe Oriental palace on
wheels. In the press car are located
Private Secretary Halford, E. F. Iib-
bolts and Miss Sanger, stenographers;
Mrs. E. F. TibbOtts, Charles Hedges
and A. J. HalfOrd, Associated press; B.
V. DeGraw, United press; w.
c. Mcpherson, New York Trl-
bune; Ernest o. Chamberlain
and wife. New York Sun; }. K.
Munford. New York World; W. H.
Smith, Cincinnati Commercial-Ga Gazette;
j. I. McCarty, Cincinnati Enquirer;
Henry Oyiatt. New York Times; George
G. Hit, Indianapolis journal, and w.
O. Mckinney. Supt. j. F. Miller and
II. r. Deering. assistant general agent,
accompany the train as far as kich-
mOnd. The train was pulled by engine
$40, John Carset, engineer. Henry
King is conductor.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-02-26

These are the figu es sent to the state
board of charities and corrections.
These institutions desire $l,345.000 for
current expenses and $4,000 for new
buildings and land, and this does not
include any of the extraordinary
amounts asked for by the state univer-
sity.
The bald, naked fact is that the state
institutions have become a sea devil of
thousand arms which, reaching here
and there, finally encircle the state
treasury and suck it dry, and this with
out protest from the legislators elected
to guard this treasury. With perhaps
the exception of the Faribault institu
tons. the current expenses of these in
stitutiOnS are as economical as could be
had. The extravaganza IS in the con
slant demand for new buildings and eX-
traord nary repairs. The St. Cloud re-
formatory desires Sl34,S95 at the very
moment that there are 200 empty cells
at Saltwater. The soldiers home
asks for s220,000 to put Tennes-
see marble and pressed brick into
its structure at the very moment that
the governor insists upon legislative
economy. The insane hospitals de-
mand money as if it were waterand to be
had by the tapping of a rock with rod.
A million dollars asked for new
buildings at moment when the state
is being forced to borrow money. Where
it is going to end is hard to say.
The only real supervisory power ex-
erted over the state institutions is by
the state board of charities and cOrrec-
tiOns, and even this is not complete,
since one board of managers has more
or less defied it. These boards of man
ayers are to a wrong extent made up of
men locally interested in the finances
of the institution Of the board of
managers of the Faribault institutions
three reside at Farlbault; the state re-
form school board has three local men,
berS, and so on. The board of charities
and corrections has recommended that
trustees be appointed hereafter, ma
lority of whom shall not reside where
the institution is located. Where they
do reside there local "pool' is usually
formed to build up the town, OF certain
grocerS, banks, supply merchants, etc,
at the expense of the state. -
Looking over the itemized details of
the state institutions finances inter
eSting figures are secured. The cor
rections board approaches them with the
very mild statement:
1--WE do not think that the taxpayers
of the state are prepared to double their
annual outlay for buildings for these
institutions"
The legislature of 1888 put tax upon
the people of 40 cents per capita for new
institution buildings; the one of 1885
put tax of % cents per capita for the
same purpose. and the one OF 1887 of 42
cents for the same purpose; or, for the
six years. Sl.1O per capita for new build
ings. The Legislature of 1855 is asked
to appropriate $974,S25 for new build
imgs. or per capita tax of so cents,
equal to IL mills taxation Oh all of the
taxable property OF the state.
If the legislature is neither blind nor
insane these figures ought to show the
extent of the rapacity of these institu-
tons and the immediate need of radi-
cal retrenchment. Secretary Hart's
biennial report can enlighten them as
well if they will take the time to read it.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-02-26
R1oroUs DEMONSTRATION.
The Crowd at Columbus Becomes
q Mob..-several Ladies Hurt.


COLUMBUS, o., Feb. 25.-The demon
stration at this point assumed unusual
proportions. At least 0ne-fifth Of the
capitals 100000 population was in the
vicinity OF the depot at the time the train
arrived. The depot, one of the largestin
the country, was almost filled an hour
before the time for tie train to arrive.
In addition to the general crowd several
organizations came and pressed in. The
Foraker club was about three hundred
strong; the Watch company and the
South End clubs were over
hundred strong, and the Harrison
and Morton Glee club had about
100 in line. Before the train reached
the depot 1t was impossible to get from
point to point. The booming of cannon
and the din of brass music. drum corps
and yells greeted the presidential train
as it moved into the depot. 1t required
a large force Of police to open the way
for the engine. The scramble then began.
The crowd pushed, jammed and swayed
i'm a solid mass. The train pulled pretty
we'll through the depot before stopping,
and then the people were trying to keep
up and rushed madly over each other. A
large number of ladies were in
the crowd and many of them
were injured, as the apparently mad
dened crowd showed no respect for
any one about them. Nearly the entire
membership of the legislature went
down with the Foraker club, but they
were all lost sight of in the general
crush. There was no definite pro-
gramme carried out. 1t was the intell-
ton to have several songs from the glee
club. and also listen to speech
from Gen. Harrison. The former was
almost entirely eliminated from the pro-
gramme. and less than fifty persons
heard anything the president-elect had
to say. People standing within ten
feet of him could see his lips move as
if in the act of making speech, and
that was all. The cheering, firing of
cannon, beating of drums, and gen.
eraI confusion lost none of its
force. The general talked less than
five minutes. While Gen. Harrison and
the ladies showed that they appreciated
the ovation, Mrs. Harrison had pain
full expression on her face as she
watched the crowd fairly crawl
ing over each other, and the prob
ability of some of the ladies in
the crowd being seriously injured.
She stopped the general in his speech
as she called his attention to the man
ner III which the LADIES' were being
pushed and wedged here and there, un-
able to help themselves. There was a
lack of management in the whole af-
fair and no person is deserving OF any
credit for the manner in which
the reception was carried out. ex-
cept the entire mass, who were bent
upon giving the president-elect an Ova-
tion of the old-time kind. AS soon as
the general left the platform the crowd
began to grow less dense, though the
train was wedged about by people until
it pulled out. The time given to
Columbus was at least double that
which was arranged by the original
programme.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-02-26
ADIvIsION OF OPINION.
What the Des MOInes River Set
tiers Think of the Presidents
Vnfo

What the Des MONIES River Set
tiers Think OF the Presidents
Veto.
Special to the Globe.
FORT DODGE. To-, Feb. 25.-Public
opinion is sharply divided as to the JUS
tice of the presidents action in vetoing
the bill for the relief of the Des Moines
river land settlers. A number OF
the settlers have been seen, and a
portion of them, embracing those who
have completed the purchase of their
lands and who are under the leadership
of S. B. Grouse, by the act of purchase,
have manifested their abandonment OF
ali hope of getting relief. and with this
class the veto meets approval. The
other settlers who have not yet been
eyicted, and those who have been
evicted and who refused to make pur-
chases, are very much disappointed.
That the veto is approved by land own
ers from business standpoint, no mat
ter what their real feelings are in
the matter, is certain, while SEN
timent among. business men, so far as
can be ascertained, is divided. The
legal profession is. almost unit IN
sanctiOning the action OF the presldent,
as viewed from their standpoint. hold
ing that it would lie next to impossible
to reverse the opinions already rendered
by the supreme court.
A report from Lehigh says that the
news of the veto caused considerable
disappointment among the settlers,
most of whom are still in possession OF
their lands. and none of whom are
making purchases. The settlers had
confidently expected that the bill would
not be interfered with by the president.
The land owners. strengthened by the
failure OF this legislation. will begin
vigorous crusade of eviction against
those who refuse to settle, as soon as
the weather gets warm enough to admit
of the families being turned out with
out danger of freezing. No oppor-
tunity will be given to put in crops for
the coming season.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-02-26
A DAKOTA FORGER.
j. nj. Brown Arrested at Ell Paso,
Tex, for Crooked Banking.

Speclal TO the GloDe.
HURON, Dak., Feb. 25.-J. NJ. Brown.
arrested at Ell Paso, Tex, for forgery,
has relatives here. Brown was formerly
bookkeeper for bank at Bowdle, Oak.
which position he resigned two months
ago, having first secured a draft for
$500 by filling it out after being signed
in blank by the cashier. This was
cashed by the National Bank of Dakota
in this city few weeks since. Two
checks with forged certificates were re-
ceived later; one from New Orleans
for $3.50, the other from Ell PaSo, Tex,
for nearly the same amount, both being
forgeries of the most bungl ng sort.
Instead of the checks being honored the
authorities at Ell Pas0 were instructed
to arrest Brown, and he is now in jail
in that city, but will be brought here as
soon as the necessary papers are issued.
Judge Spencer began terms in Beadle
county this afternoon. There are over
200 civil and about thirty criminal eases
on the calendar, including two for mur-
der.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-02-26
COURT Ar GRAND FORKS.

An Important lax Decision---The
Edwards PeddIing Case--.J urors
Drawn.
Special to the Globe.
GRAND FohKs, Dak.. Feb. 25.-In the
district court to-day Judge Templeton
handed down decision in the case of
Fulton VS.. the county of Grand Forks
upon the tax question. setting aside the
assessment levied by the county asses
sor as excessive. and made rate him
self which lowered the tax consider
ably. The United States grand jury
has been in session all day and several
cases are expected to come up to-mor-
row. Thirty-six jurymen were drawn
to serve during the term. The case of
Edwards, of Minneapolis, VS.. the city
of Grand Forks was argued before
Judge Templeton to-day. The case in
wolves questions of Importance. j. D.
Hayes. Edwards agent, had been sell
ing goods from samples. The city
claims that it is peddling. and imposed
a license of $40 day. Hayes claims. it
is not peddling. Decision reserved,
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-02-26
IOtM .......,..,.'..,.s, 49, 20, 45Oi5o
Total buildings and SUPPORT. u, ,O96, l l2S

And the state. in the face of a bank
rupt treasury. is asked to appropriate
this year for the support of these insti-
tutions in round numbers more than
$2,000,000, of which $1,000,000 is asked
for the INSANE asylums.
The State has now eleven institutions,
with an average number of inmates of
2,772 out of population of 1,400,000
The current expenses of these institu-
tions for 1888 were s4S6,670 this does
not include new buildings erected)
which is tax upon the population for
support alone of So cents per capita, or
4 cents more per capita than it was in
1887. The estimates for the three wears
ending 1891 is that the current EXPENSE
account VIII increase to $685.. 700, or SO
cents per capita.
In the face of this increase of ex-
penses--it never goes down-the boards
OF managers of these institutions come
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-02-26
The Wisconsin Assembly.

Special TO the Gi0De.
MADISON, Wis, Feb. 25.--The assem-
bly, tonight passed bill authorizing
the governor to appoint three commits
sioners. who with himself, shall repre-
sent Wisconsin at the centennial of
Washington's Inauguration. The senate.
passed bill retiring justices of the SUI
preme court at the age seventy years.
A large batch of petitions were pre-
sented favoring The passage of the
county option bill. Tomorrow after
noon and evening the the joint railroad
committee will meet in the assembly
chamber, at which arguments pro and
con relating to the Taylor. bill will he
heard. Both sides will be represented
by the first caliber of talent.