Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-08-30
LIGHT AND LAUoHABLE.

AN exchange, alluding to prize fight. says: "We give an admirable account of the disgusting affair on our first page"
 YEARS ago no farmer thought of going through haying-time without laying in number of big demijohns. That explains why the "oldest inhabitant" likes so well to dwell upon the hay days of his youth.
 A SARCASTIC lawyer during the trial of case made use of the expression: "Cast not your pearls before swine" Subse- quently, as he rose to make the argument, the judge facetiously remarked: "be care full, Mir. S.. not to cast your pearls before swine" ssDon't be alarmed, your honor; am about to address the jury, not the court"
 A MUMMY on which were inscriptions that are said to have proved it to have been one of the Pharaohs was unwound in Egypt recently, and experts have decided that he was in life afflicted with gout. There have been whisperings before of the full habits and swell ways of these old Egyptian na' bobs three thousand years ago, and this is 50 much confirmatory evidence.
 AN explorer was recounting the suffer. ings of his party from thirst in crossing an uninhabited country, and said that finally, when they were all on the point of dying from the uncomfortable thirst, one of ssS0S>e pint bottle of whisky, and their lives were thus saved. A listener asked If there were no springs or streams of water l in that country, and the traveller answereQ 'Oh, yesi but you don't suppose people | dying of thirst have time to think of per sonal cleanliness, do you9"
 THE following Is the last horror perpe | trated by well-known Scotch Baronet: 4 German sportsman said to him the other l day: s'Talking about dogs with keen scent have one in Germany that will compare favorably with any you have in Epglapd.' ' ''Very remarkable dog, suppose" yawned the listener. "I should say SO. The day before left home he broke his cbain, and although had been away for hours, he tracked me and found pe merely by scent What do you think of thatl" II think yot ought to take a ba.h," replied the Gale donian, turning calmly away.
 "OUr WEST" says a theatrical manager who has just brought his company intt Gotham, ''they don't always do things 1T New York style. We played at little theater in Salem, Ore, two weeks ago, ant when l asked an old man with long whiskers who was sort of general factotYn about the theater what time they usually rang up the curtain he said, shifting quie of tobacco ip his mouth: Well, we don' have DO reg'lar time; we gently begir when the folks begin to 'stomp."' So WI waited till our audience got there ane sstomped,' which was about nine O'clock"
 TIE ex-mayor of Cheyenne says that tbt changing of the marriage apd divorce lavv| about every two years fills Wyoming Terri tory with q multitude of grass widows ant partial orphans. "It mixes up,' he says 1.-the social relations in such way tha there is a delightful uncertainty and [ vague feeling of apprehension all the time A man may retire at night, in the bosom O his family, as it were, and the Legislature holding an evening session may abrogat' an old divorce of his, and when he wakes ul in the morning he will be occupying apart ments with another mans family. Thi may be amusing to the lawmakers, but it' annoying to those who desire to lead { moral upright life1