Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-05-23
CARL DUNDER AGAIN.
George Washington and Shakespeare the
Cause of his Trouble This Time.

81 thought it about time for you to
show up again." said Sergeant Ben
dali Yesterday, as Carl Dunder hesi-
tatingly entered the Woodbridge street
station.
''Maype l like to talk NIT you a
leedle."
"Well 60 ahead. suppose you are
in trouble again?'
Sergeant, vhas Sheorge Washing
ton dead?"
"Of course he is"
HE vhas dead long timer"
"a great many years"
"Vhell, dot pleases me. vhas afraid
make mistake und hafto 60 to shall.
A black man comes in my place der
ouder day und likes me to gif him two
shilling for colored shurch. Hesays
his name vhas Sheorge Washington.
I belief Sheorge Washington vhas
dead, und | gif dat man sooch a kick
dot he flies twenty feet"
"You did! Why, he was probably
named George Washington. / know
of several colored men by that name"
but Sheorge Washington vhas dead!
If he vhas dead he can't be alive!"
Cant there be two men by the same
name? Don't you know two or more
men by the name of Schmidt?n
'sBy Sheorge! but l don't think of
dotr'
you'll probably be arrested on a
warrant some time to-day, and | shan't
feel bit sorry for you. Has anything
else happened?"
'Vhas Shakespeare deadP"
ron, IL IL
''He vhas dead a good whilep"
eyes; long time"
dot pleases me. When you explain
about Washington, l vhas afraid Shaks-
peare vhas alive. A young man comes
in my place und says, vhas l Carl
Dunder? I vhas. Well, Mr.. Dunder,
/ like to sell you book by Shaks-
peare. Here he vhas, und l sell him
sheap. Sergeant, nopody must take
me for fooli''
"No?"
eff Shakespeare vhas dead how can
he write some books? 1t vhas a shwin-
die on me, und | take dot young man
und almost preak him in two"
"Then you'll probably have Sec
ond warrant to look out for. The
young man was book agent and all
right"
but you said Shakespeare vhas
dead"
$50 he is. The men who wrote the
| Bible are dead, but the Bible keeps
right on, doesn't it? These are the
books Shakespeare wrote when he was
living"
'fVhas dot so? Why doan' he OK
plain it to me?"
The Judge will explain it! Any
thing else?"
"a man comes in my place and says
he likes to sell me some strips of
| weather. Was l a fool? Doan' I hat
all der weather l vhant mitout pay?
Doan' got some cold und hot und
rain and shnow like onder people,?
Sergeant, l doan' like to hat some one
make fun of me, ind knock dot chap
oafer two tables"
"Well, you'll pay fine in the po-
lice court for it,"
You doan' say!"
Eyes, [ do. The man wanted to
furnish you weather strips, didn't hep"
by golly! l believe he vhas wealth
er strips"
They are put on doors and win
dows to keep out the cold. You'll
hear from him.
But why doan' he explain to mep
How do / know dere vhas some deefer-
ence between weather strips and strips
of weather."
''The Judge will explain"
Sergeant look at ne! | meier see
sooch a country! One day l gif some
pody five dollar und vhas all wrong.
Der next day / knock shust sooch a
man oafer two tables und vhas ar
rested. Nopody vhas two times alike.
If l doan' knock somepody l vhas an
old greenhorn. If l do knock him [
must go NIT der police court"