The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1889-05-11
Bill Nye's Sad Thoughts.
The Wanderer Halts in
minneapolis and Writes
the Thinks He Has
Thought.
Lines OH the Prosperous Porter.
Where Cleveland Lost Votes and
Was "DOwned" by Re.
pGrter--Thc Bag
gageman's AL
phabet.

Every thinEiul student M
doubtless noticed that when he en-
ters the Office or autograph depart
ment of an American inn, lith
and alert male person seizes hi
valise or travelling bag with mucl
earnestneSs. He conveys it {,
some sequested spot and does no
return again. lie is the porter o
the hotel or inn. He may be AZ
humble porter just starting out, oI
he may be II swollen or purse PROUD
porter with silver in his hair and
also in his sock. | speak of the
porter and his humble lot in order
to show the average American boy
who may read these lines that
humor is not the only thing in
America which yields large divi,
dends on very small capital. To
be porter does not require great
genius or education, or intellectual
versatility, and yet, well attended
to, the business is remunerative in
the extreme and often yields eX-
icellent returns. 1t shows that any
American boy who does faithfully
and well the work assigned to him
may become well-to-do and pros
porous.
Last week | shook hands with a
conductor on the Milwaukee e. ST.
Paul railroad who is the president
Iofa bank. There is Il general i'm
preston in the public mind that
conductors all die poor, but here is
Jerry" as every body calls him, Il
man of forty-five years of age per-
haps, with long head Of whiskers
and the pleasant position Of presi-
dent of the Irish-A Bank.
As he .thoughtfully slams the doors
from car to car, collecting fare on
children WHO are no longer young,
and whose parents seem to conceal
them under the seats, or rs he goes
from passenger to passenger, stick
ing large blue checks i'm their new
silk hats, and otherwise taking ad-
vantage of people, he is sustained
and soothed by the blessed thought
that he has done the best he could,
and that some day, when the sum-
mons comes to lay aside his smell
ling lantern and make his last run,
lie will leave his dear ones provid-
ed for. Perhaps / ought to add
that during all these years Of
Jerry's prosperity, the road has al
so managed to keep the wolf from
the door. | mention it because it
4s so rare for the conductor and the
road to make money at the same
time. / knew a conductor on the
Union Pacific railroad some years
ago who used to make great deal
of money, but he did not invest it
wisely, and so to-day is not the
president Of bank. He made a
great deal of money in one way or
another while on his run, but the
man with whom he was wont to
play poker in the evening is now
the president of the bank. The
conductor is in the puree.
1t was here in Minneapolis that
Mr.. Cleveland was injudicious. He
and his wife We're panied to read
the following conversation in the
paper on the day after their visit
to the Flour City:
"Yes, / Ike the town pretty well
but the people. some of 'em are to
blamed fresh"
ado you think so Grover? l
thought they were very nice, in
deed, and still L think j like st.
Paul the best. 1t is so old and re-
spectable.p
"Oh yes, responsibility is good
enough in its place, but it can be
overdone. | like Washington,
where responsibility is not made IL
hobby"
"But are you not enjoying your
SELF here, boney?"
."No am not. TO tell the truth
] am very unhappy. Pm afraid for
fear that Pll say something about
the place that will be used against
me by the st. Panl folks, that | al
most wish ! was dead, and every
body wants to show me the new
bridge and water-works, ard speak
of our great and phenomenal
growth, and show me the p0pula-
tion statistics, and the school-house
and the ~Kashburn residence. and
Due Ames and Ole Ferguson, and
the saw-mill, and the boom, and
walk me up into the thirteenth
story Ofa -four mill, and pour corn
meal down my back, and show me
the wonderful growth of the city |
debt and the sewage, and the Vest
Hotel and the glorious ozone and |
fhipg9 here that makes me tired.
And J have 10 look happy and |