Morning journal and courier., 1889-04-05
SET

Blobson-Why does everybody say that Bigsby's wife has @ mouth like bear trapa Popinjay-Dunno, unless it is because there is such a set look about it.-Burling- ton Free Press.
 Visitor-We would like to see your mother if she is not engaged. Seven year old-Engagedi goodness, she was engaged long ago and got married be- fore was born-Lifs. "You appear to be in good health, ;" said 8 prison visitor to convict. "It is only in appearance, sir" replied the convict, fsfor
 the fact is am confined to my room more than half the time. e."-Texas Siftings. "I thought, young man, that told you not to stir out of the yard to-day" said a stern parent, land here you are down town D "Ma'am has commuted my sentence to doin' errands for her."-Hartford Post. Old Gibbon-I told you that you should try to curtail your expenses. How do you expect to get along when you are of my ages Howell Gibbon-Well, father, I suppose by that time I'll have your money to get along onl-Puck.
 azines never heard of it.. 'fYes. She con- dueted one for five years" "What was it calleda" ''The Age of Woman" 'That's the reason, then, why never found it out" Chicago Tribune.
 Husband (to wife, as they start out)-"But aren't you going to wear anything on your head" Wife (provoked)-"Why,y you horrid band-"Youd better wrap the bill around it so as not to catch cold. d."-Lawrence Ameri- can.
 "Why do you look so sad, Miss Ethel7' 'Sister Helen is going to marry Tom Bar ry."
 "The worthless young reprobate. No won-
 der you are sad."
 l.
 him myself. Life.
 Bobby (to young Featherly)-"What kind
 of music were you playing on the piano last
 night, Mr. Featherlyi" Featherly-"What
 kind of music, Bobbyf Why, played sele.-
 tions from different operas. It's called oper-
 atio music" Bobby-"Then Clara was
 wrong. I heard her tell ma that you had
 been entertaining her with some alleged mu- sic."-Harper's Bazar.
 First tramp-"Aristocracy, They don't
 know what aristocracy is in dis country.
 Who ever heard of 'ristocrat workin' in Eng landf' Second tramp-"That's so, Bill, and that's why I'm opposed ter workin'. don't want them doods, like the Prince of Wales and Rooshun king 8 sneerin' at dis country and sayin' we ain't got no real simon-pure gentlemen. No, sir; not while I livei"- Judge.
 Mamma, how did it happen that me and little brother Sam wasn't kittens," said little Johnny at the table the other morning. "Why, Johnny, what made you think of such q thingp "Why, when papa talks to nurse about you he calls you the old cat" The above conversation is the sole cause of Johnny's mas visit to her folks and of Johnny's singular dislike to singular pos ture.-Waif.
 Visitor (at Washington)-"You are the new secretary of agriculture, I believer sThe new secretary-"Yes, what can do for you2" Visitor-"I thought that, since was here, might get some beans.n The new secretary -"Yes, sir; here's package, sir. Plant lem in furrows three feet deep, and-no, that's the direction for saplings. These must be sown under glass and transplanted in June or-no, come to think, that's for tomatoes. We'll, haven't my glasses with nae, but you can read the directions yourself. ."-Puck.