Sacramento daily record-union., 1889-09-21
AN EGNOSTIC.


Hold them hosses. sonny, till lug thi
'ere lady's traps in on to the porch"
1t was a plain two-story frame house
set back from the road in yard filled with
beds of gaudy flowers. These were lait
out upon strict mathematical plan, theil
contriver having careful eye TO geometri
cal effect. A border of whitewashed clam
shells, laid side by side with military
precision, set off the dazzling red and yel
low of the flowers. A glance at them was
like gazing for an instant full into the
blazing face of the midday sun. The
driver knocked at the door, and man in
his shirt sleeves answered the summons
1t was Mr.. Zeke himself Hooked up into
his face as | answered his salutations. but
could see nothing save red and yellow
flowers and whitewashed clam-shells. !
returned the drivers CHEEKY "Good-by,' y
and his face reflected the same image. Mr.
Zeke (for it was some time before | could
learn his last name led me into dark
ened room, musty and damp.
"Now, eff you'll jess set down here awhile
Pll call the ole woman and hev yer things
fetched into the house" Aided by CLEAN
of light from the half-closed shutters. |
found a seat, but could see nothing except
the glare of red, yellow and white in
squares and right-angled triangles. As
this waking nightmare faded slowly from
my vision, became aware that was seated
upon an old-fashioned horse-hair sofa in
wh l,- 4Io r
discerned in all its appointments, as my
sight grew clearer, The hand of the same
mathematical genius whose work in the
front yard had proved so dazzling. The
chairs all stood with their stiff-looking up
right backs squarely against the walls, the
same number facing each other from the
four sides of the room. Photographs in
narrow oval frames-six or eight alto
gether-formed another oval, all eauidis-
tant from the largest, which occupied the
dead center not only of this group, but of
the wall from which it depended. The
books upon the square walnut table, which
stood in the exact middle of the floor, were
arranged in little piles in the same rigid
order. l could see now well enough to
note among them the family Bible-orna-
mental, perhaps, but certainly not useful
In any other manner, for, as | learned
afterwards, it was never opened-Bun-
yan's "Pilgrim's Progress" Fox's "Book
of Martyrs" Wesley's-but here was Mrs
Zeke.
''Good mornin'," she said. 'sCome to
apply for the vacancy, s'pose, and want
board? jess what | lowed He'd no din
ner, most likely? Three dollars an half
a week, ineludin' everything cheap,
amt ?-'less you're to board round, then
the Directors pays. But you won't be SET
tied till they meets, which is Saturday
mornin's, still. Well, jess come out an
have bite o dinner awhile The men
folks hev eat already, an I've jess red up
the table"
1t may be well to explain that saint ?"
means sis it not ?" and that ''stilPo at the
end Of sentence signifies usually or
generally"
little woman, in plain drab-colored dress.
white cap and apron. l fancied at once
that she had sharp tongue as well as an
active one, and it was not long before this
impression was confirmed. | followed her
to the dining-room and saw half uncon-
sciously the bare uncarpeted floor and
whitewashed walls, and out of the windows
great number of crooks and bright tin
buckets and pans hanging from the garden
fence. Everything was as fresh and clean
as possible, and the dinner was very good
indeed. What struck me as peculiar about
it-a characteristic of the countrv-was
the large quantity of every kind of sub
stantial food and the great number of
little dishes with which the cloth was
Spotted" These contained apple butter,
peach butter, jellies and preserves of vari-
Gus kinds, to which the natives give the
general name of Sass"
After dinner | was shown to my room
bare and uncarpeted, like all the house.
except the rarely parlor How cold
and forbidding it all seemed-how differ
ent from my old room at home
God bless the man who first invented
Sleep" said honest Sancho, and so say /;
for, tired out after my long ride, slept
soundly until nearly time for supper
The next day | went before the Board,
which met at house not far from Mr..
Zeke's. When ushered into the presence
of this august body, l was taken aback at
the sight of some half-dozen men, all of
whom except one were attired in the
Tunker, or Amish, costume; broad
brimmed hats, which they did not remove
at my entrance, much to my indignation;
thick hair reaching to their eyebrows in
front and to their shoulders behind; and
strange-looking little capes. covering their
shoulders and fastened at the neck with
hooks and eyes. They all stared at me as
cattle might stare at something new and
strange-all except one. But the peculiar
appearance of the others so attracted me
that l scarcely noticed this latter member,
who, although attired in plain Quaker
fashion, wore neither cape, hat nor long
hair. 1t seemed that the vacancy had not
been advertised, and as l was the only ap-
plicant, my examination began at once.
What vas your experience as deacher,
ob-a-piIe?' (all the while).
This was the first question. 1t was pro-
pounded by an gentleman who was ev-
idently the President of the Board. Alas!
had no experience, so, in reply, told
my simple story as well as | could.
Some conversation in Dutch followed,
and few unimportant questions.
"Nhat vas your persuasion, oh d-riieg'
/ hesitated, not sure what the speaker
meant.
"Your church, whispered the young
man in the Quaker garb
How it happened 1 shall never be able
to tell, but the question seemed to me, un-
der the circumstances, TO be so very absurd
that l was filed with spirit of mischief
ooh" said; 81 am an Agnostic"
i know there must have been a twinkle
of fun in my eyes, which l could not re-
press as | saw the puzzled look in the faces
of the members of the Sandersville Board
of Public Education. | felt somewhat
startled, however, when ] saw this twinkle
reflected in the face of the youngest mem
berthe gentleman in the Quaker garb.
As my face paled at this discovery, his
grew red with suppressed laughter. / was
only half reassured when he nodded to me,
as 1t seemed, to go on; and certainly 10 %
ON was the only thing l could do now, for
] was in too deeply to turn back.
&c lV0Ss Is % ~ asked opa Of the ruyyI oJ