Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-02
RESTAURANT PHYSIOGNOMY.
One of the Profession Tells About How
Waiters Are Made Miserable.

One of the Profession Tells About How
Waiters Are Made Miserable.
In the quiet hour just after the noon rush
the observant hasher leaned over the lunch
counter and tn ,ughtfully surveyed the broad
cloth coattails of tall, slender gentleman
who was just melting into the crowd of work
men, merchants, lawyers and other busy
mortals hurry ng back to their various en-
ployments, and remarked:
There is the quietest, most gentlemanly
kicker that ever saw in my life"
"Whyl" lac oncally remarked the clerk,
who was eating plate of doughnuts, pro-
fessionally known as life preservers" at q
seat by the counter
Well, you see that new waiter over there
brought him potatoes and cream for bananas
and cream, AMI rather than hurt the mans
feelings by mentioning the mistake, he called
me over there, and, putting his hand to his
mouth, whispered in my ear:
Sorry to trouble you but don't think
these are bans mas that the other gentleman
brought me- Beg your pardon, you know,
but If you could change them without his
noticing, l should be very much obliged
You bet ,h.I ged them for him and got
this, and he 6A a fifty cent piece to see if it
was good
Its funny" continued the observant
youth, 1.-THE difference there is in men, Now,
you see that lat, jolly fellow over there at
the side table eating lobster and laughing
over funny story he has just told He keeps
a shoe store up here and sells goods through
sheer good nature, but in truth he's brute
He looks like n good fellow who would be
easy to please, don't he2"
The listener admitted that said party of
the first part looked quite amiable, and the
hasher replied
well, he amt That man would kick if
he was going tD be hung he would He comes
here every day for dinner, and he usually sits
at my table because | am about the only
waiter there Is here who hasn't refused to
wait on him. He comes in with putting and
blowing that would do credit to a sewer en-
gine and yells to me before he is seated. He
wants a glass of water first and drinks it at
one gulp and then sets down the glass and
says: Bah! why don't you have some water
that's fit to drinkf He kicks because there
are crumbs on the cloth, swears because the
napkins are damp, snarls at every dish as it
is set down, an1 fairly howls over what he
terms the 'urgodly size of the bill He
throws the dishes around, rattles the silver,
stabs viciously at the food and pounds on his
plate with a Dife if he wants anything. He
ends by kicking to the cashier and saying un-
complimentary things about the cigar he
buys at the desk"
1t was hard to believe all this about so
pleasant faced a man, but the waiter was
very positive about it, and having settled
that point, sized up tall, thin man, who
had just come n, and began to give "A mouth
sketch of him. 'Do you notice how mean he
looksT said he. "Just catch on to that long
mulish lip of his, will youl You would think he
was mean enough TO sell his share in a treat,
wouldn't youi He isn't, though. He is
good fellow, ard is satisfied with everything.
never knew him to kick but once He will
saw away at bootleg steak, or wrestle
with refractory crust of stale bread without
even indulging in the usual facetious remarks
about chlorofo-m and buzz saws He never
shivers in an exaggerated and unnatural
manner If his coffee isn't hot enough to boil
eggs. He eats what he orders-if he can
and pays for II without a murmur. The one
crying need of our profession is more men
like that; but even he had to say something
once. He had ordered mince pie and the
first piece of it he put in his mouth contained
half inch section of hoop iron, which he
didn't seem to appreciate. but even then he
didn't say mucl He called me over, pointed
b the hardware, and said he had concluded
to adopt lighJer diet and would like plate
OF sponge cake st. Paul Globe