Telegram-herald., 1889-11-10

may be. Too many maudlih drunkards
that thinks with a fungus growth and
reasons with little fatty degeneration
which they calls brains till they run
agin an autopsy, too many folks with
no voting qualification but talk and
trOwsiz is allowed 20 vote, not only at
the polls, but 20 even represent big
and beautiful county like Sweetwater
in the Legislature.
so we are 10 restr4ck the vote, | ad-
nit, in that direction and enlarge II in
the direction OF decency and sense. Mr..
Speaker, men is too much stuck on
themselves. Becuz they was made first,
they seem TO be checked up too high.
The facts is that God made the mus
keeter and the bed-bug before he made
man. He also made the mud-turtle, the
iackass and the babOOn. When He
had all the experience He wanted in
creating, He made man. Then he made
woman He done good job. She suits
me. She fooled herself once, but why
was it? II was Monday. She had a
picked up dinner. Adam wanted some
thing TO finish off with. Eve suggested
cottage pudding. oh, blow yer
cottage pudding says Ad. How would
you like little currant jell?' says She.
No currant jell if you viii excuse me-
says Ad. Well, say a saucer full OF
'tipsy parson" with little coffee aud
Rhode Island pudding?
Don't talk 10 me about Rhode Island
gravys,' says Ad. You make me tired.
4. l.. Io- e L,, l,n fnHI Iar
we had at the Gem City house on ouI
wedding tower. l haven't had thing
10 eat yet that was fit 10 feed to a shingle
mill. Give me a fllet of elephant veal.
Kill that little fat elephant that eats the
blackberries nights. Fix up a little
Roman salad, he says, ''and put quart
Royal Berton Sec on ice for me. l will
then take a little plum duff and one Of
them apples that the Lord told US not to
pick. Do that for next wash day, Evie,
says Ad, and draw on me-
There was Adams words as regular
as he has been reported, l reckon, and
that's why sin come into the world.
That's why man earns his bread by the
sweat Of his brow and the tooth of the
serpent bruises the wOman's heel Eve
rustled around the ranch to get little
fresh fruit for Ad and 10! the delugc,
and the crucifxiOn and the revelation
and the rebellion has growed out of il.
Proud man with nothing but an ap-
petite and side whiskers laws out to
own the earth because Eve overdrawed
her account in order to please him. And
now because man claims he was created
first and did not sin to amount TO any
thing. he thinks that he has got the
brains of the civilized world and prac-
tically owns the town.
Il talk without prejudice, Mr.. Speak
er. because / have no wife. / don't ex-
pect to have any. have had one. She
is in Heaven now. She belonged there
before married her, but for some reason
that can't find out she was thrOwod IN
my way for few years, and that recol-
lection puts d lump in nay throat yet as
I stand here. l improved on her be-
cause she had been taught 10 obey her
husband, no matter how much of dam
phool he might be. That was Laura 5
idea of Christianity.
"She is dead now, and that is where
Laura has the bulge on me. drive
stage and think. God help the foller
that has 20 think when he's got nuthin'
20 think Of but an angel in the sky that
be ain't got no claim on.
I've been held up four times and
drove right past the road agents. Drove
kind of slow, hoping that they'd shoot,
/ but they seemed kind OF ratified and 50
waited for the next stage.
Its d a fanny 20 me that women
who suffer most in ordcr that man may
come into tho world, the ono. Mr.
Speaker. that ia first 20 find and last 20
forsaSe him. first 20 hush the CRY cf a
J baby Saviour In Jim Crow livery stable
in Bethlehem. and last go leave che cross,
first az the sepulcher and last 90 doubt
the Lord, should be Interested with tho
souls and bodies Of generations. and yet
not know enough 20 sote lApplause.f I
give the above simply 20 show t.e
style Of rhetoric in those days.