Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1889-02-21
"JINGO JIM !''
wHooPING THINGS UP:
Time: March 5, 1889.

ton. The Diplomatic Corps from foreign
countries is present IN an ante-chdmber.
BIdins-Sambo introduce the charge
d'dfdires from Great Britain.
Sdmbo-Yes sab.
Erit. Enter the Hon. NJ. II. Herbert, lCith
a badly bored expression.
Blaine (Ioftily)-How is it, sir, that your
has not sent a new man to take
Sackville's place This il an intolerable
outrage, sir, an insult to be wiped out in
blood.
English Charge dAGairs (ldnguidly)-
Yaas, it is blawsted stwange, yer knaw.
BIdine-Enough. / declare war against
England. In thirty days the American army
will be parading the Strand and the Queen
will be locked up in Madame Tussaud's. l
| have spoken. Go.
+. c. d. A. (iCearilyl-Aw, say, now, deah
boy, let us of heasy, do.
Erit hummina "MisrNle Britdnni."
Blaine (mopping his marble brOiU)-Next! |!
Enter the French EmGdSSadOr.
n. E.-Bonjour, Monsieur Blaine.
BLdine-Sacr-r:rie Tonner-r-re Mussieu,
are you avaire Eat re French Government
has not yet sent re congratulations to me !
This is intame. Cochon de Dieu but wi
have my r-r-revanche on re brave General
Boulanger. HUNS the march.) l declare
f. +. lin tears)-Ah, mon Dieu nous SOM
mes perdus (Erit.)
Bldine-Sambo, mix me cocktail and pat
me on the back. (DrinkS.) I'm here at last,
even if l did get in by Maine strength, and
I'm going to earn my $4,000 year by Gods
grace. Next!
Enter the German Embdssador.
Blaine (humorously)-V gates
G. Il. (dStounded) d)-Wie gents
Blaine (merrily)-Ia wohl.
g. e. Ia courtier)-How well you speak
mein lankvitch, Excellency.
Blaine (pledsed)-Ton't now, shoost!
g. E.-Dot you do.
Blaine-Enough esprit. Lets to the point.
Bismarck has snubbed US about Samoa
Here are your papers, Count Ludwig. "Geh'-
mach Berlin, wo die vArruckter sind" and tell
your pretzel- -gorged Chancellor that the Sixth
Massachusetts Cavalry will be riding Unter
den Linden before May, and that your Kais-
er will be hurled into bowling bowl of soup.
As for Bismark l have arranged his future
career with MIR. P. 7. Barnum. Hinaus
Erit the G. E., tearing has hair. Enter the
Merican Minister. ~
BLaine-Carajo como esta'V?
M. M.-Muy bien, gracias.
Blaine-I am displeased with you.
NJ. M.-Porqui?
BLaine-You called me porky Enough.
The Sixteenth Utah Rifles will invade Mexico
tomorrow and will lay Rio Janeiro in ashes.
M. M.-Rio is in Brazil. AZ
BLdine--I don't believe it. Besides. If it is
1 will have the geography changed. (E1it N.
N. in despair.) That's the kind ofa cocoa
nut drop am, Sambo.
Sdmb0-Youse ought to goonde stage, sab.
.Blaine-My daughter law attends to the
theatrical business for our family. Next
Sambo-Next is Venezuela, sab.
BLaine-Where's that Hunt it up on the
map, and meanwhile introduce the Russian
ambassador.
Enter Mr.. C. De Struue.
Bloine-Good morning sir. Have some
tea-Russian tchia?
d. S.-Da.
They drink, and Blaine serveS the Samorar.
BLaine-Is it good
d. S.-Frekrasin, tip top; needs rum, how
ever.
Blaine (Iivid) )-Rumi Romanism Rebel
lion! Enough. I declare war against the
Gear. 1 will liberate Poland. The Two
Hundred and Eighty-thir Rhode Island
Fusileers will destroy Moscow, and Saii
Petersburg will be a burning desert, the
home of the uHsus Borealis and the losth-
some centipede. Sambo, show this Tartar
the door, and count the candles. Slava Bogu.
(Erit X. E. Blaine drinks.) Wow! Give
me another war or I'll fall asleep.
Enter the Brazilian Minister.
B. M.-Blaine, greatest genius of the nation !
Dom Pedro sends disqualification
KneeLs and Kisses Blaine's bpots. ss...
Blaine (gratifed) Thanks. Tell your es-
teemed President that am his eternal friend.
(Ecit B. M, crGtUling backwards. Enter
the Hdytidn Minister 1Uith his hot corn bas-
tet.) The line must be drawn right here.
Sambo, transact State affairs with this sun
burnt statesman. I will return anon.
Sdmbo bounces the Haytidn. Re-enter
Blaine reading tbs last issue of LIES, ,oiping
his kps and nibbling a cloue.
BLaine-RinQ up on the second act.
The S,oiSs Minister (defantly upon enter
ing)-Mr. Blaine, I want justice. A Swiss
subject was swindled out of dime by bun
co steerer in New York. If prompt repara-
ton is not made and indemnity paid, swear
by the bones of William Tell and Rossini too,
to have New York bombarded by the Swiss
feet.
Blaine (aside)- man after my own heart.
(Aloud) Public apologies shall be made, sir.
Sambo, go to the roof and haul down the
American flag.
Erit S. NJ, after Gaming Blaine.
Blaine-Oh! how suffer for my country.
DrinhS.)
Italian Minister (entering) )-Buon giorno.
BLaine-Where's your hand organ /?
l. M.-Ah, zis liz Won oltraggio atroce. I vii
for re Duilio and Ze Dandolo, and
We will burma all ze citta. ~''
Blaine-You macaroni-eating spider go to
ze Inferno. ...
Enit /. NJ. singing "Di quelld pira," from
soith an insolent folsetto.
Blaine Wo,U! (Drinks.) Bring on your
wars on tray, and we'll give You the deuce.
Chinese Embassador-Hopee Blainee feelee
bully.
Biaine-Y belly bully. B1t don't
wantee anee washee washee. .Samho. cut
this lemon-tinted barbarian's pigtall off and
send him to dime Museum.
The C. e. flies. Enter the Spanish Minister.
Blaine-Have cigarette?
S. M.-Muchas gracias. (Smokes.)
Blaine-How's your King?
s. A.-Teething.
B!aine--Oh! that's tooth in.
S. A.-Carajo.
Blaine-Look here, you garlic gorged Cam
Zedador, you can't swear in my presence.
Caramba Enough, leave me. declare war.
5ambo, telegraph for the Seventy-second
New Jersey Cuirassiers and Cappa's band.
In one month, Senior, the American eagle
will be flying over the Escurial, and, and by
the way, on your way out tell the Portuguese
Minister that declar war against Portugal
at the same time. I like clean sweeps.
Erit s. A. Enter President Harrison.
President Harrison-I say, Blaine, are we
strong enough to wallop Greenland? The
authorities there have insulted us grossly.
Blaine Gracious Heavens! Then we are
indeed lost.
Fdints to sloD music. CUPID JONES.
HOw's This.
W. ofRo. 0no u,olro5 DoIlo,s d oxro II Co.