St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-05-04
HOW 1T REALLY FEELS.


life, perhaps. I am not q very young
man and l have gone about the world
a good deal. Ihave been in many &C
cidents. encountered many dangers,
yet have always come out unharmed.
1t is fate, suppose. shall have to
die peacefully in my bed-Of old age.
l must 60 back a little and
explain certain circumstances previous
to the day l attempted to step Oh the
hard precipice of life into the unknown
depth. 1t was domestic trouble, OF
course, that drove me to II. There
were other universities; but they would
never have driven me to die. 1t was
only when she turned and
My wife had been for three years my
idol as well as my ideal. loved her bet
ter than my life. She knew this, am
positive. For her sake I had at our
marriage changed all my life-a radi-
cal change that meant the severance OF
close ties. the end OF warm friendships,
the reiinquishing Of much that had
been good and pleasant For her sake
had completely altered my existence.
lido not regret having done So;
were to live it through again l should
do the same thing. We had
three years of happiness. I. at least,
was happy. and supposed her to be.
She seemed to love me devotedly. Our
married life was the closest compan-
ionship ever known by two humans.
We had the same tastes. the same am
billions. th>same beliefs. BY and by
misfortunes overlook us-6nancial
losses compelled us to alter existence.
1t became necessary for me to leave my
wife in The far South where we had
been living and make hurried trip to
the North. Only the cruelest necessity
that of povcrty-could have caused
me 10 part from her for a day. Never
thelcss ncrved myself and made my
arrangements. Ii was like death, the
parting; she was completely overcome.
l had scarcely strength to mount my
horse. | know not how I rode the
many miles or got aboard the steamer.
l felt numb-opprcssed with hor-
ribie nightmare. lay in my berth
burning with fever and muttering .
halt coherent prayer: % God, give
me strength and help me TO bear it!
Help me to get back to her!" More
dead than alive l reached the North. l
went about my business like a man in
dream. My brain burned; my heart
was like lead. A week passed and I
received "a letter from my wife. Il was
Respondent almost colby 80. A hor-
rible fear shot through me. Could Il
be she would cease to love me? Ire
doubled my efforts, and tried to put
the thought aside. Another week. an
other. 1t was agony! Each day 1 wrote
her pleadingly. piteously. desperately
even. Another week and there came
a letter. Oh. soy! she did love me. /
stepped from purgatory to paradise at
the opening sentence. Iwept, raved.
! flung myself upon the floor Of my
room in an excess of JOY and hope.
Another week and another dear letter;
was happy-as happy as I could be
away from her. l thought l might
start upon my return voyage in few
days. The world was bright; my heart
sung in Inc like bird. walked with
out weight Faith in her meant end
less heaven. She was one upon whom
nigh. always depend; she was pure
and good and steadfast! My prepara-
lions were concluded; was to start in
two dars. | only awaited one more
letter from her. The night before it
should have arrived | had q most ter
ribie dread. 1t seemed to me I stood
alone in the streets of a strange city;
suddenly there ran out cries and peo-
pie gathered in crowds. There came
men bearing 4 litter. on which was
stretched the form of 4 woman-mo-
tioaiess. lifeless perhaps. l ran with
the crowd. Some great terror had
seized me. There was something
horribly familiar in the outlines OF the
form. felt myself grow cold AS ice.
pressed close to the bier aud saw
m. wife.
l Weakened sobbing aud crying: 20
God. G God! My wifer' No letter
came that day. The next morning il
arrived, however. / opened it fever
iahiv.