Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-11-28
uNcLEs BEN AND DAN.

Some Idea of the Way They Eneertaiu shO
Country Store Crowd.
When Uncle Ben and Uncle Dan hap
pen to meet in the country store there
is sure to be some fun. The audience
gathers quietly, posts itself on conven-
lent broom-racks, butter-tubs and -four
! barrels, with q premium for the seat
nearest the dried prune box; and after
all are seated, and the clock carefully
set back, the master Of ceremonies, in
the person of the senior partner OBJ
serves insinuatingly:
81 b1ieve You fit in tn war, Uncle
BENZ
Uncle Ben's sshaow?' is followed hy
reiteration of the remark, pitched IN
key that joggled . china wash-basin OF
Torrance begins
ssI'l allow 1 did, fren' Tark, an fit
hard, too. Me an Dan here went in, In
81, in Cap. Bill Mulcher's:comp'ny an
didn' come out till Gineral Lee said he
thought it was kinder 'propriate that
we'd orter. Didn't we, DAMP
ssNo," from Uncle Dan, who hasn't
grooved into the drift of the converse.
ton at all.
Member TIL the time when we was
green sojers, Dan, an you got lost in
that air cypress swamp down to Shelby
vile, an swum out an reskered yer
on my back, just as that air copper.
headed snake was goin' to sting ye?
Member that?'
''He's talking about the army yeHs
Bilford in Uncle Dams ear. wants sto
know if you remember about the snake
incident down at Shelbyville."
''Do -" emits Uncle Dan, waking up;
'fbet your d'rogatory life I do! Why, Ben
not only seen snakes, but. after we got
him out of tn tent and tn apple-jack
fog horn worn of of him a lettle, t was
all we could do to keep him from runnin'
down ter tn cypress swamps to chase q
blue cow with yaller wings that he said
he seen swimmin' acrost tn crick.
sit was jest about week afore got
shot plum b'tween tn eyes leadin' my
comp'ny into Hell's Oven down near tn
Mi1lville crossroads; so / member il
we'll"
Here Uncle Ben breaks in again.
"'T warn't a great while arter that
that Daniel got stuck in tn back OF tn
neck with a nail out of mule-shoe, an
you orter heard him yell while tn med
icine man was pryin' it out He sent
messages to all his fren's, an give me
his watch for lynn an sayin', when I got
home, that he died with his face to tn
foe.
Them was great days gents, great
days. Why, durin' the siege of Peters
burg, when shells as big as dog-kennels
was droppin' out of tn sky, an powder
smoke was so thick that tn fellers used
ter lean against it when they got tired,
ulster sit up on top of tn earthworks
an play poker with our Major, jest as
cool, an with more satisfaction than as
if was playin' with Zeb Dresser on that
barrel he's settin' on.
''Only trouble was that every once In
awhile mimic ball would hit our chip
stacks, an then we'd have divide up an
begin all over ag'in.
81 wuz speakin' bout Petersburg,
Daniel. Rec'lect that summer" This
in a fog-horn voice that could be heard
in a trance
81 rec'lect." responds Uncle Dan,
s'that you bought out Sanger, tn sutler,
bout two weeks afore the siege began;
an reports ulster come to us roosters at
tn front that you was maxim money
hand over fist an sendin' it home; that's
what rec'lect.''
These fellers here don't know nothin'
bout war, Daniel" replies the old fell
low, who thinks his friend has substan-
tiated his story. And thus the fight
goes on until nine o'clock comes; the
shutters are put up, and the unwilling
audience disperses.
last word comes back from Uncle
Dan as they disappear in the gloom,
yelled at the top of his voice. 1t is.
''Don't draw it too hard ON 'em, Ben.
They'll think we're 1yin'."-Puck.