Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-10-03
CARL DUNDER.
He Encounters Several Sharpers and
Comes Out Ahead.

ne EucOunCerS Several Sudr perS anu
Comes Out Ahead.
"Well?" queried Sergt. Bendall as
Carl Dunder entered the police station
the other day with his hat worn jauntily
on his ear,
"VheIl, sergeant, I vhas going by und
shust dropped in little time. >"
"Glad to see you. You haven't been
down in some time"
"No. 1 haf some fellers come around
te see me again, und vhas busy"
''Swindled again, presume"
Sergeant" said Mr.. Dunbar, as he
flushed clear back to his ears "Maype
vhas some haystacks, und maybe 1
know enough to take care of myself. I
Wasn't so shmart as policemans, but
can come in when she rains"
''Well, perhaps. What were the fell
lows afters"
my wife she likes to go to lansing, !"
replied Mr.. Dunder, after getting over
his mad little, ''und L goes py der
depot to puy ticket"
"How mooch vhas dot ticket to Lans-
ing2"
"Two- forty"
"No less for cash?"
"No, SIR
81 gif you two-twenty."
"No, SIR
"Two-t twenty five."
"No, sir"
Den goes py dot way of Shackson,
und you doan't get cent"
But that must have cost at least S5. "
"a leedle more ash dot, but you see
dot ouder railroad doan' got one cent,
und 1T makes her SO mad ash nefer
vhas."
"Well, what else?"
"a chap comes in my place last week
und looks all around and says:
"Vhas dis Carl Dunderg"
'He vhas."
IL vhas glad TO see you. 1 hear
aboudt you all oafer. Mr.. Dunder, L
have some preparation here dot if you
rub on your feet no shark Will bite you.
L warrant it or give you back your
money"
And you bought it2"
"Hold on, sergeant. He haf shust
twelve bottles left. He asks me 81
bottle"
but you---?"
"Doan' take me for some fools. 1
offer him two shillings bottle und he
takes it. He likes to beats me, but 1
knock him oudt. ! vhas too sharp for
him."
"But what do you want Of the stuff"
"To keep sharks avhay"
'But where are the sharks?"
Mr.. Dunder looked embarrassed, and
as he did not reply the sergeant queried:
81 heard something about salt well
I'm, UIaI ,>f,
was that?"
"Vhell, if I make mistake on dot
shark-grease l know vhas all right on
dot salt well. Some fellers put oop n
shop on me, but 1 knock EN- all to
pieces. A man comes in my place und
looks all around und drinks some beer
und says:
"Yhas you Carl Dunder?"
81 vhas."
"Vhell, like to tell you dot I pellet
] can make q salt well in your back yard.
If so you vhas der reechest man in De-
troit in two weeks, | like to bore and see
if can find salt"
"How mooch vhas der cost?"
"Vhell, you vhas n good feller und
always use der poys square und so L
make it sheap to you. bores down for
one hoonered dollar"
"Who you take me forl"
"But dat vhas sheap."
81 gif you shust twenty-five dollar
und no more, und if you doan' like dot
you go right oudt."
'Did he boreg" asked the sergeant.
Eyes. He comes right to my price.
He bores for two days"
"Find any salt 2"
"Not one drop"
"And you paid him $25l"
81 id"
"Mr. Dunder, L really hate to say
anything to wound your feelings, bnt
if you aren't the greenest, hay-seedest,
pumkin headest-"
Sergeant" interrupted the old man
as he backed for the door, "keep quiet
Doan' shpeak to mo Gift me some
show to go avhny und commit der sui
eide vhas in dis country ten years,
but doan' make her oudt yet. No
pody vhas two times der same. | vhas
so discouraged dot / go und hang my
self. Goodby, und see dot vhas kept
green in my grafel"