The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
A land of distress Wales.
On strike-A parlor match.

A shepherds crook-A sheep stealer.
The seaboard-Salt pork and hard
tack.
With the builder it's either.put up or
shut up.
In the matter of fans the Chinese take
the palm.
The "nimble shilling" must be made
out of quicksilver
A beetle can draw twenty tiE,es its
own weight. so can mustard plaster.
Now say the bees after the hive is
prepared for them: "We'll make things
hum here"
A spirit thermometer is best for cold
weather purposes, beclu:e there is always
drop in it.
Shrewd inquiries are beng made as to
whether the cup of sorrow has saucer.
Can any one tell!
Jay Eye See will probably remain on
the turf instead OF going under it.
Nep York HeraH .se-.
When it comes to a question between
pies and pizin it is hard to decide
Richmond Despatch.
Uncle Sam may laugh at Canada, but
he can't catch nation by exclamation.
Detroit Free Pres.
| If he who hesitates is lost, the man
who shutters must have great difficulty
in finding himself. -Somercdl3 Journal.
IT'S human act to kill can mes
BY electric shocks we own
But then it gives a wicked taste
10 the sausage of Bologne.
Bobby-"What did you say, pa!" Pa
-"Never mind" Eobby-"I don't of.
tener than | have to, do I?"-Binghamp-
ton Eepubticar.
$50 old Brown is dead, eh1 Well,
we'll. Did he leave anything" eyes.
1t broke his heart to do it, but he left
everything. "-Harpe,'S Basar.
A clergyman who married couple OF
deaf mutes in Brooklyn the other day
made bad break when he wished
them "unspeakab!e bliss. The Cartoon.
He who fights and runs away
| May live to fight another day;
But he who never fights at all,
Yet swears be whips, has lots Of gall
| Tennyson compares men to trees, and
perhaps he is right about some men, who
are all limbs, whose boughs are awkward,
and whose general re- utation is some
what shady.-N,o Torh Sun.
Little Boston Girl Gas the hair.brush
is reached for)-" mamma, the consecu-
t veness and tie prevaency Of these in
| terminable castigations are slowly sap
ping my very lfe."-Tm".
The United States Post Office Depart
ment is petty We supplied with regula-
| finpc tharn is chpOl6 lk1
to see adopted about this time-"Post
no bills. '-BAr'ington Free Press.
He said in tones of sorrow,
| 10 friends i'll nee1a for me,
The friends that want to borrow
do not wish to see.
-Rsston Courier.
He Misunderstood. Robinson ."How
does it come that you are always in the
| courts" Iawyer-"That's my BUSH
ness" Robinson-"Oh, well, wouldn't
get so touchy about little thing if |
were you. y Time.
Bakcr-"What is the price of foul
to day. Somewhat high
er." "Well, go down and tell the fore
man to chuck in more yeast Thank my
stars, cid Hutch can't get up corner on
wind. -Phi'adetptia Atecord.
"Why, Mrs. reE ancey, what is the
matter with your daughter Florence!
She looks completely used up and done
for" sch, she's all right, Mrs. Van
Tyke. She has just graduated from
finishing chool."-Spr1ngfetd Union.
He knew that she loved him, for when it was
| late
And high over the earth stood the moon,
AS he took up his hat and strolled out to the
gate,
She asked "Are you going so soon" 4,
Merchant Traveller
When Chaplain McCabe was in Kansas
on a tour endeavoring to raise ST.
OOo, 900 for missions, little boy heard
his appeal, and thinking of the large
sum he had to raise, determined to help
him. The first chance he had early in
the week he gathered basketful OF
chestnuts. width he sold for five cents.
| He sent this to Mr.. McCabe with the
note: 'If you want any more let me
know Chicago Herald.