The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1889-10-26
WILD WESTERN JOURNALISM.
The Way the Arizona sKicker" Pre-.
sents the News Of Its Town.
DON T BLAME HIM.

DUN BLAME HIM.
Last Tuesday night the city
treasurer of this town jumped out
with all the public moneys he could
lay hands on. The aggregate sum
was only $65, but no one should
blame him for skipping out with
that small sum. 1t was all he could
get, and he had become so Disguised
at having to associate with the
members of the common council
that he would probly have gone
with $25.
FUN AHEAD.
Alderman O'Grady didn't take our
remarks of last week in the right
spirit. We called him a thief, liar
and drunkard, and instead of ad-
hitting the charges like gentleman,
be INDUCES in threats of personal
violence. Come on, Mr.. O'Grady |!
Well try and make it lively for you.
And, by the way, while ON this sub
ject, we feel constrained to observe
that of all the corrupt, dishonest,
knavish, drunken public bodies ever
convened in room together our
town council caps the climax. Next
week we shall begin war of exter-
minination on these vipcrs, and il
the fur don't fly it won't be our
fault.
IT CAN'T BE DONE NOW.
For a year or more after we struck
this town we could be kicked and
cuffed with perfect impunity, even by
a low down Indian. We were knock
ed down, booted up and down the
street, and had our nose pulled out
of shape two or three times per week,
and we never thought Of resisting.
We were tenderfoot of the tender.
footedest sort, and it was a question
whether we should pull through or
not Let some one attempt to tweak
our nose to-day! The offer of hun
dred dollars in cash wouldn't tempt
u man in town to try it on. The
man who sets out to cliff us now
has got to beat chain lightning
Every chap who has piled into us
for the last ten months has had to
be carried off on shutter, and two
of them as the town records show,
sleep peacefully among the daisies.
IT MELTED US.
1t is well known all over town
that we have held u mortgage for
the last three months ON the entire
outfit of our contemporary. 1t CO.
vers everything but his own worth
less carcass, and can be foreclosed
any minute This being the case,
we are often asked why we don't
take possession when that blotch on
journalism refers to us in such en-
dearing terms as liar, "jackass,"
"hypocrite," and SO forth. We did
go over one day last week calcula-
ting to turn him out on the sand
hills, but he fell to weeping and
melted us. While it seems hard
for man to be abused by his own
we haven't the heart to
kick away the barrel. And, besides,
he runs such an abject apology for
a weekly newspaper that the Kicker
receives hosts of compliments by
We are not going to
be mean with him-not unless he
quits abusing us and tries to pub
fish good paper.
NUtxr nUp
AS will be noticed by all our sub
scribers we add a new department to
the Kicker this week that of fore
casting the weather We have ar
ranged signal office on the roof of
our own building and shall take oh
servations hourly. We have also
purchased map of the United
States and have arranged a pro-
gramme by which we expect nine
tenths Of our predictions TO be veri-
fed. This has been long felt
want in this locality and the enter
prise of the kicker will no doubt be
duly appreciated. We shall start
out at slow pace and do no rush
ing until the harness fits well. Our
first prediction-"Clearer; warmer;
cloudy; cool: may rain and may
not''-is sort of feeler, and we
do not advise any of our readers to
give up fishing excursion or a
school picnic on account of
it. We hope in time to get used to
the hang Of the thing, and after we
have we guarantee to beat the gov
out of sight or wear one
shirt all winter.
Very Likely She Will