The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1889-05-24
AN UNFORTUNATE WIT.
now Hoosier's Little Game Was Sno,,ed
by a Fellow from Missour,

by Fellow from Missouri.
Jim Frank Bell, an Indiana VILLAGE
wit, while in Chicago the other dav.
found much amusement at the Eden
Musee. He cared nothing for the
groups of historical personages. no,
ior the music, but was greatly taken
with the naturalness of the wax f;pure
OF a tramp that stands in the from,
corridor. A humorous idea occurred
TO Jim Frank Bell. al willn he
unused. shave some fun right here. ]
Will play trick that will tickle All
tucker and lobe Walker an the otbe,
1esiers mighty nigh to death when
GIT back home an tell 'em about il. !
Will pass myself off for one of these
here wax folks"
"hlie no one was looking he took a
leaning position against the wall and
stood with downcast eyes. Two young
women came in.
mats quite natural figure" said
one OF them, pointing at Bell.
II don't KNOW" the other one re.
pl1ed. ellis mustache looks as If the
hairs might have been put in with q
pegging-awl
les, that's so; and in order to
make him look like drunkard, thew
have put too much red paint on his
nose"
Ihey passed in. Two men came into
the corridor '.Halloa," said one
they have put up another bum since
we were here the other day."
Yes, and he doesn't reflect anv
credit on his profession.
"A glaring caricaturo, at best"
mo, at worst, for there is nothing
best about him."
Ihey passed on, and shortly after
ward there came out of the musee a
half-drunken fellow from Missouri
He had, on account of misbebavior
been ordered out of the house: and.
smartlng with anger. he stopped in
the corridor. He carried a hickory
cane.
Come shown me around like q
dog!' he muttered. "Wish 1 had nv
crowd. I'd break up every thing in
the house. There you are Cooking at
Jim Frank Belly! Like to have YOU
down in Missoury. I'd make a skeer-
crow outen you"
He looked all around and then took
large quid of long-green tobacco out
of his mouth.
"A crow wouldn't come in a hun
dred miles Nv SIGH thing ez you air
eff he had hearn tell Nv that nose"
A devilish expression crossed his
face. He looked around again, and
then with a terrific "spat," he drove
the quid of masticated tobacco into
Bells eye. The village wit, with a
yell, leaped high in the air, and the
Missourian, frightened at so unex-
pected a performance, whacked Bell
over the head with his hickory stick
and quickly wheeling about took to
his heels When number of people,
attracted by the frightful yell, rushed
to the spot, they found Jim Frank Bell
lying on the floor. He was uncon-
scious, and lump, about the size of
a goose-egg, had gathered on his
head. He was taken to a hospital,
and. after several days treatment,
was able to go home and regale Alb
Tucker and lobe Walker with his
joke.
AS the MissOurian was in Chicago,
no attempt was made to detect and
arrest him, although the newspapers
spoke of the incident as can attempt
to commit murder in broad daylight
at popular place of amusement
The MissOurian sent the following
letter to friend:
my DER FEB: This here is the
blamedest town l ever saw. A man
amt safe here even when he amt in
danger. 1t takes SO much hus ling ter
git along here that even the wax fig
gers in the shows air alive I thought
I'd have little fun with one NV them
an l hit him in the eye with chaw
terbacker an dinged eff he didn't jump
ten feet high. This skeered me, 1 tell
you. Why, down in our country, when
a things wax, it's wax; but when a
things wax up here. you don't know
whuther it is or not. Wall, sir, when
that thing jumped l didn't know whut
it mout do next, so l ups with my stick
an give him crack that laid him out.
I have been robbed twice sense l come
here, but as l have stole a putty good
lookin' pistol an a pair Nv saddle bags,
/ reckon l am putty nigh even. AR
kansaw Traveller.