The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-06-21
THE TOWNS PHOTOGRAPH.


For some years poll parrot has held
undisputed sway In the affections OF an
elderly couple in this city, Polly has
grown UP amidst pampcring attention,
and ii was found at last that she had
been as completely spoiled as any infant
ever was. The old couple concluded re-
Gently TO adopt child, and procured a
baby that had all the orthodox develop
ment of lung and larynx. Polly re-
garded the new conner with great inter
est. In all the course of her existence
she had never seen anything Ike II be-
powers, and polly Immediately set her
self TO work to learn the language with
such success that when the baby was
quiet the parrot managed to flll In the
interim. But Polly noted with intense
disgust that the baby was monopoliz
ing the affection OF which she was
formerly the recipient. Anger ranlSled
in her bosom, and finally with
the talent for, invective that is pc
cular TO a poll parrot, the indignant
bird showered upon the baby all the
results of nm early education and pro-
family. She stood on one leg and then
on the other, and every shift turned
ntI HutnJ lOubut lHlD ulULutI utptIll
ment Of her rirrcligious vocabulary. The
baby stopped short In its bowling and
blinked at the parrot In astonishment
Polly was at once transported to solitary
confinement In the garrett and she
spent her entire time In searching her
lexicon for uncomplimentary adjectives
10 apply to the noun baby"
~
J If one messenger boy can run three
miles in 90 minutes and 81 seconds at
Kerpan's, how long will IL take two
messenger boys TO carry bouquet from
Fourteenth street and Pennsylvania
avenue to X street, Three hours. The
relation between the speed attained by
a messenger boy when he races and the
speed he attains when he is carrying
something somewhere that you have es..
pecially requested him TO do with par.
ticular celerity Is wonderfully incom.
prehcnsible. Toward dusk any even.
ing, if you will go over into the White
Lot and stand beside the big, smooth,
elliptical, graveled driveway, you may
see messenger boys run.rv The scene Is
well worth visit. The boys attain a
speed that is really astonishing. Some
times there are two or three, or perhaps
haf a dozen of them. Then some
body who has watch is coaxed over to
time the race and say &C.," and the
boys start off at break neck speed
The boy who is entered TO break Whit.
tington's time at Kernan's tomorrow
night Is often there practicing. II he
succeeds In breaking the messenger-boy
race record he will be given a badge
emblematical of the championship. II
would not be bad idea for the people
who use messenger boys frequently to
get up series of races for medals and
continue them till each boy in the city
had won one, barring from each sue.
ceeding race winners of medals in pre-
vious races. Then, perhaps, the boys
would be ashamed to display their un-
worthiness to wear the medals by their
present wonted slowness, and the result
might be gratifying. T
~
A few days ago policeman hap
| pened to want cOlored man, whom he
saw on New Jersey avenue. The
oifense was not serious, but the negro
started on run and the policeman gave
| chase They both went at rattling
pace until they came to lot Of BALI
| players away out in the northeast sec
| tion of the city. II was hare and hounds
then. AS soon as the ballplayers saw
| the eolored man running, with police
| man in pursuit. they dropped bats and
ball, deserted their bases, and, regard.
less of the score Joined in tine chase.
| Stragglers Joined ia the race and nearly
| every block brought a new recruit so
| that the colored man always had fresh
men on his track No matter how well
| he ran he was bound to be captured III
| the end, and he surrendered TO about
| fifty men who had torn half his
| clothing off him and used him up gen.
orally. They held on to him like grim
| death, and turned HIM over to the po-
| liceman with the same air Of triumph
| that society hunters display over the
moth'eaten tail of some balf-starved
| fox. .tl
."#
He looks like aretired business man,
does Detective Joseph Carter. With
his slightly bald head and his com
Portable eXpanse of stomach, he has the
appearance Of man who Is thoroughly
satisfied with the world; He works up
case with good.natured earnest.
ness, and doesn't allow any degree of
worry to spoil his temper. He knows
how and where the crooks operate and
can usually put his finger on the man
he wants IL he is anywhere within
reach. Like most successful men he
doesn't talk shop. He avoids the
hackneved mannerisms of the cheap
detective and devotes himself to making
casas rather than TO impressing people
I with his i,pnortouca ID Ha likao a ioka