Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-17
ARGUME ENT.

Room for argument-The court room.- Burlington Free Press.
 Wind instruments should be sold Hblow cost. t."-New York Journal.
 The man of whom society makes lion is never inclined to growl.-Somervil1e Jour- nal
 Whatever is said to the chemist he ought to always be ready with the proper retort.- Boston Bulletin.
 Experimental philosophy-asking man to lend you money. Moral philosophy-refus- ing to do so.-New York Ledger.
 She-"Isn't Mir. Ruthboy generous to fault?" He-"Yes, to several of them-if you mean his owna"-Burlington Free Press.
 A citizen bought himself a book the other day and wrote this on the hy-leaf: "Present- ed to John Jones by himself as mark of es- teem. ."-Toronto Globe.
 It may be proper to erect Chinese wall of protection around this country, but would it not be we'll to see that there is no handwrit- ing upon that walla-Boston Transcript.
 Doubtful Compliment-Hostess- hope you are enjoying your dinner, Mr. Fowler?" Guest-"Yes, indeed. This country air has given me such an appetite that can eat most any thing. ."-Boston Beacon.
 Utica doctor, whose worldly possessions footed up to less than $40, was "guarantee- ing s1O,0 ,0OO for a case of consumption he could not cure" He sold sweetened water at $1 per bottle.-Detroit Free Press. "Have you ever tried our spring ear muffs?" asked the polite salesman of a cus- toner who complained of cold ears. "No, :" said the other; F'I don't need lem in the spring. ."-Boston Commercial Bulletin. Mr. Nuwed-"Good gracious, dear, what on earth have you been doing with my meer- schaum pipes" Mrs. Nuwed-"Why, darling, T soxv uas all atained hrowp oava if a good securing with Bristol brick, but it does not seem to have done much good. ."-Puek. It is rumored that there is one violent situ- ation in Mir. Howeils' forthcoming novel, in which the villain throws the hero's hat out of | window; but the authors friends are confi- dent that he has not resorted to the extrava- gant methods of the sensational romancers.- life.
 visitor-"What's become of the man who used to write all those funny mother-in-law stories for yous" Editor-"He's working | for us yet-does the market reports" Wis ! itor-"What's the matter with his jokes, did l the people get tired of thsmso Editor l ssNo, he got married. ."-Terre Haute Ex' 1 press.
 He Talked Shop.-First Washington girl | 'Oh, Ethel, have been introduced to Gene
 ral Greedy, the chief signal officer" Second
 Washington girl-"Did you like him, dearr l s'I would but for one thing; he talks shop.
 "You surprise mel What did he talk aboutg
 "He said: Pretty cold weather we're having 1 now'."-Life.
 | First citizen-'Hello, Robinsonl Home l again from the torrid zone-and bronzed like | an Indian. How did you enjoy your trip tc l the cost of Africas"
 1 Second citizen-"Diegustedl I had nt
 sooner stepped ashore than a native, swathei about the Joins with an old shawl, stepped up and asked me if had read Robert Els merel"-Burlington Free Press.
 Ambitious mamma-"Ethel, didn't I SCI
 young Mir. Ferguson paying particular atte l
 tion to you last evening at the partys" Eth.
 el-"Yes, mamma, but snubbed him effec
 tually before the evening was over." Nam l ma-t Horror of horrorsl Are you crazy? 1 Ethel-''Not at all, mamma. Not this win, | ter. His father is an ice packer. ."-Mamms l-"Yes, but he makes artificial ice." Daugh
 ter faints.-Chicago Tribune.