Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1889-10-05
PITH AND POINT.

estate man on deeds.
A FITTING tribute-the check that pays,
or your suit of clothes.
THE police should keep an eye. on the
nan who is dressed to kill"
LANDLADIEs are famous gossips; they
pay great attention to roomers.
THE garbage man is like the DEAF
Sea apple, when he turns to ashes.
THE accounts of a side-door saloo,
ire kept up by double entry system
THE tennis crankness has lots of fun.
even though she is maiden all for
avn.
EVERYBODY dislikes the dentist-at
east they show their teeth whenever
hey go into his Office
A LAWYER is described as having q.
lard metallic voice. Perhaps he is
;ilver-tongued orator.
THE late Judge Terry of California
was ready for quarrel whenever he
saw good Field for it.
WHAT is the differens between a COW
and broken chair? The COW gives
clilk and the chair gives whey.
VIsuoR-Is Mr.. Deepvoice who sings
in your church choir baritone? Juve-.
1ile Hostess-No, ma'am; he's a Ger
man.
FAT and sleek, many members of
travelling dramatic companies go out as.
dressed beef" and come back ION the
loof."
q KNOW when to stop, said tipping
man as he turned into saloon. And
you stop there most of the time, replied
| his friend.
WHEN the amount of express goods
was limited to what Adam, the father
VI the business, could carry in satchel,
hat was the first limited express"
The burglar who was caught in a.
shoe store after midnight asked to be
discharged by the Judge on the ground
that it was a fitting place for every
body.
FATHER, said Willie, who had Just
been corrected, that strap is heredi-
tary, isn't it ?" Il don't know that it is.
But it descends from father to son,
doesn't it,"
Mrs. SHoRTPURsE gear 1899)-John,
what became of those fashionable pant
alOons you wore on our summer trip in
1889? John--They are upstairs, some
where. What do you want of them?
Il want to make them over for dress"
MUDGE-Now, enjoy joke just as
we'll when it is at my own expense as
when it is on some other fellow Yah
sley-It's different, though with a drink.
isn't it, Mudge?" Then Nudge got mad
and wouldn't speak for over twenty
minutes.
AUGUSTUS (of Boston, Pure light of
my soul, do you doubt my love and the.
utter devotion of my manly heart 2
Angelina (of Texas i fear do doubt
you-a little But, Augustus, you
would not, you could not monkey with
my heart-strings?
SMALL boy-Pap say he wan yo' ter
put m new sole on dis yer shoe er mine,
n a new upper leather, n Re-
pairer of shoes link datll be bout de
sames maxim new shoe. Small boy
No, sab; pap say de shoestrings on
lis yer one am all right.
PHILADELPHIA Mans the London
Echo the only paper you have about
the house," Eyes, l only subscribe for
foreign paper now" Why, that
doesn't give any American news, and
YOU were never in England" Il know
that, but the London papers don't print
any baseball.
Mrs. HAsHCRoFT Ito applicant for
board)-Aud / can assure you, sir, that
you will hear no complaints in my house.
about tough steak. The victim two
weeks later She was right on the
steak question. 1t has been nothing
but Goldfish, mackerel and liver since |
have been here.
4DVICE 70 SEDENTIRI PEOPLE
A wise physician has lately called at
tention to the injurious effects of too