The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-23
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE'S one peculiar thing about horse race
You can pick the winners right along until you
conclude to put up your moneys Washington
Capital
1t Is SAID that the Japanese people never kiss
Come to think of it, when they look at each
other they ought not to want to kiss.-New
Orleans Picduufle.
HE-Will you marry mel
She-No.
He-Then will you marry Bob Sawyer? He
wanted me to ask you for him too, while was
about It-Hpoch.
PA, where do you keep your wings in the
daytime:"
What do you mean, Orestes' have no
wings
We'll, ma said you were night owl. "-Phild-
delphfG Call.
MRS H., installing a mirror for a door and
suddenly starting back.
Mr.. Fl. (laughingl -Why didn't you go through,
my dear?
Mrs. H.-Upon reflection, thought would
better not.-Lfe.
Nor MUCH AT STAKE.-Eastern Woman
You're married, you say? All, marriage is a
lottery
Western Woman calmly)-Yes, but only
hold tenth ticket You see, my husbands a
Mormon elder.-Time.
THE Western School Journal has killed the
title Professor" so common among school
teachers, and the Topeka Lance has removed
the title Honorable" from its vocabulary. If
the good work goes on, we may eventually get
down to common sense.-Detrot Free Press.
''Do YOU know who her grandfather was?
Have you ascertained anything in regard to her
pedigree? Those are things you ought to know
about the woman you are to make your wife"
20, hang her grandfather!'
My boy, that's just what they did. Judge.
''IT was ever so kind of you to bring me this
box of candy" said the young lady to George.
Il think you are exceedingly nice. " That's the
~ Il !, -
other bonbon into her mouth. Put a caramel
into the slot and get some taffy."- Washington
Capital.
WHAT are you doing these days, JACKIE
81 am looking around to get a position with
little work and big pay"
You'll peyer get it."
'BecauF ntou have no political influence. ~
Boston c. Aer
A MOTHERS HEART Mrs Brink-Mrs KIinkl
Mrs. Klink Your little boy is in our yard, ston-
ing our chickens.
Mrs. Klink-Horrors, He'll get his feet wet
in your big, ugly, damp grass / don't see why
you can't keep your lawn moved, Mrs. Brink
NeW York Weekly
WHAT Crowd IN BosTQN MEANS Stranger
What is the meaning of This vast crowd; some
thing unusual happening?
Boston Mani don't know, sir. l have just
arrived on the ground myself 1t may be that
a symphony concert is just over, or it may be
ETHEL-Don't you think Charley Desmond a
tremendously nice young man?
Clara-Yes, if he didn't dress with such aw-
fully poor taste.
Il hadn't noticed it,"
why, he carries the same cane in the after
noon that he does in the m orning !"-Time.
WHATS the matter, Charlie? You look
blue"
Il am blue. I went to the mountains last
month, and | never saw such lot of pretty
| girls in my life and as there only one other
| man there l expected to have good time, but
| the other fellow was a Mormon and was en-
| gagged to 'em all."-Harper's BdzGr.
| YES, Dan is dead" said the Arizona man
| You see, few days ago some o. the felers
| strung man up to tree for stealing horses
| an Dan pulled too hard on therope an strained
| himself"
why, what pityl"
| 1T war that but it warn't surprising. You
| see, Dan war the only man at his end O. the
rope, so they outpulled him, poor Teller. Time
| Mr.. SLowBoY (delightedly) Under certain
| circumstances, you say, Miss Keemot, you
| wouldn't object to marrying me. Thank you sc
much. Now, will you tell me what those cir
| cumstances are?
| Miss Keemoit (slowly)-Well, you see, Mr.
| Slowboy, would be perfectly willing to marry
| you If lift you were the very last Of your
| sex-PhttddeLp htG Inquirer.