Arizona weekly enterprise., 1889-07-27
MR. AND MRS. BOWSER.

It Is Not Every Kan Who Can Put Up
 Door Screen.
 The other morning asked MT. Bowser irhe wouldn't send up a carpenter to hang the screen door to the kitchen, and, after @ mo ment's thought, he replied:
 "Tm in no hurry this morning and I'll hang it myself"
 But it's got to have spring on, you ! know"
 "Well, what of it?"
 "Can you-you"-
 If can't l want to be knocked on the head for an idiotl I've put on more door and gate springs than you've got hairs in your head"
 He got the door down from the loft and after running up and down and backwards and forwards for half an hour his assortment of tools consisted of two saws, an augur, brace and bit, plane, screw driver and screws, square, compass, miter box and tape line.
 "Does it require all those tools to hang screen doorf" queried.
 Tt may and it may not" he replied.
 Gan assist you in any way2"
 ''Can you assist mel Mrs. Bowser, you talk as if you didn't regard me as half bakedl When l want your valuable assistance I'll send you word on a postal cardr'
 retired in good order and remained out of sight twenty minutes. When I returned he had the door on and seemed very well satis- fled.
 You'll have to make slight change in that, Mir. Bowser."
 "HowP
 You've hung it top to bottom"
 "l have. ehl I'll bet you S10,0O0, 900 to a cent haven't"
 Well, look at the knob and the catch and holdings on the panels"
 He was fairly beaten, and he realized it. but instead of acknowledging the corn he looked at it for a moment and then quietly soid
 "I slipped it on that way to see if you would notice it, but you'd have let it pass if l hadn't called your attention to it!''
 In the course of half an hour he made the change and was putting on the spring when came back. He had never put spring on a door in his life, and it would not have de- tracted from his dignity to ask my advice, but he would have died first. He measured for it and began to bore hole for the screen, After he had worked for two or three min utes asked:
 ''Mr. Bowser, which way are you turning that gimlet?"
 What do you meanT be demanded, as he stopped work.
 ''You have been turning to the left"
 "Of course 1 havel Whoever heard oi turning boring tool any other wayp
 ''l have, You may work all day that way and not accomplish anything. That ginllet and all other gimlets turn to the right"
 "They do, ehl What a smart wife have You had better deliver a series of lectures or mechanism"
 "Wnl you turn to the rightf'
 ''No, maamr
 He bored and bored, determined not tt give in, and at length pushed him aside and turned the gimlet to the right and haG it into the wood in no time.
 Didn't tell you so, MT. Bowserfn
 "Well the man who made that gimlet de serves state prisonl It's the first one I ever saw that turned to the right, and had seer , millions of them before you were born" 'Can you put the spring on aloneF' ''Mrs. Bowser,n he answered, after glarin. l at me in chilled steel way for half a min ute, 'perhaps l ought to be in the idiot asy 5 lun, and perhaps l do know enough to com' 9 in when it rains. You will oblige me very P much by going into the house and knocking that squalling young 'un on the head" It was half an hour before dared mak , an excuse to get out again. By that tim MT, Bowser had the spring on, but the doc 2 stood open instead of shut He was standin; ] in deep study. 9 Il know what oils it, MT. Bowser" e How shrewd!"
 "When you frightened the spring up yo turned it to the right. That throws the doc open. If you'll tighten to the left, the doc 2 will spring shut" He sat down on the steps and looked at m e with twelve different shades of irony and sar 8 casm in his expression, and finally deigned = reply: 8 "Where did you learn all you knowf' A "Wiu you fix that spring as tell Your