Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1889-03-26
PASSING FOR Fun.

NaE CHAMPION LAR.
The snake liar and the fish iar, both bowed ,n
their grey old age,
came travelling back from their jOuraeys wide
from their earth-wide pilgrimage
\ teaT drop stood in the snake liars eve. and
the fish liar groaned in pain,
And death-li9e look of iniiaite grief came
over the face of the twain.
=" ! cannot compete with the modern lie~ the
sSd-eyed snake ar said
" In It's llmltless length, and breadth, and
depth and wish that we-e dead:
for stand rebuked with shame-faced look
neath the triumphant gaze of the eye
VI the lake newspaper fighter, and his unap-
proachable big lie.
" For the snake liar, and the fish liar. and the
horse liar own his sway
And the easy-going liars who work Ay the iob
and the liars who work by the dav:
Inc travelling liar, old inhabitant lar and liars
of low degree
And liars who lie for the fun of the thing and
liars who lie for fee.
" the horse lar the peach crop liar the sea-
With their wide, untraveled waste 3 OF cheek.
and their soundless seas of gall,
All bend the knee 10 the sceptered SWAY of the
crowned and peerless one,
Andthe father OF lies looks tenderly down on
his most accomplished son -
A Frank Estimate-Better to be loan
than in bad company, was not written of
our umbrella.-LiJe.
The highest office in the gift of the
President is that of Postmaster at Mineral
Point, Col. 1t is I2000 feet above the sea
level.-Nerristona, Herald
Reason for Marrying" So in spite of
all your previous resolutions, you are 60
ing to marry % "Only out of revenge.
My best friend has just married, and did
not invite me to the wedding. | will be
revenged." -Eiieqeade Blatter.
1t adds to the certainty of reform in the
methods of the P. o. Department that
the Hon. J. S. Clarkson, who has had
experience in the postal service and pos
sesses splendid executive ability, has been
nominated for First Assistant Postmaster
General.-Ghicoqo Iilbaae
His present-A Sweet Girl" Mother,
George told me solemnly that that pretty
hair-pin holder he gave me cost five dollars;
yet to-day / saw exactly the same kind on
sale for ten cents" Mother" Yoa know,
my dear, George is very religious. Most
likely he bought that at church fair."-
Ne@ York IKeek}g.
An Opportunity Lost st-"I say" said
Berkey to his wife yesterday at dinner,
''you didn't say anything to any one about
what | was telling You the night before
last, did you? That's a secret" "a secret!
Why, | didn't know it was secret" she
replied, regretfully. Well, did you tell
it? | want to know" "Why, no, / never
thought of it since | didn't know it was
a secret" Boston Globe.
Husband Hem, er- My dear, find
my correspondence is becoming so heavy
that ] will have to employ typewriter.
You referred yesterday to the accomplished
typewriter, Miss De Sweet. Do you know
her intimately" ?" Wife-"O, yes. She
has been teaching our daughter Clara for
six months, and Clara is now ready to go
into your office at any time. "-Pkitadelphia
ecord.
The writer of the sentiment, " The dia
mond is the hardest substance known"
probably never compared it with the heart
of the pawnbroker who will advance but
five per cent. of its value to starving wo-
man.-,Jsueiler's WeeEh.