St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-12-25
SHREDS AND PATCHES.
Odds and Ends OF Humor Dropped
into the Work Basket.

CALLED ON THE EDITOR.
He came in looking groggy and squinty,
His voice was pitched high and was fiinty.
He yelled, where's the man
Who is writing Of DAMP
For I'd have you know I'm McGintyp'
A STRONG MAN OF TEXAS.
"My uncle down in Texas is an awful
strong man," said the boastful small
boy. "Pa has just read in newspaper
that he held up a train"
A MIsFIT QUOTATION.
"Let me help you TO another piece of
my pie," urged the hostess.
mo, thank you," replied Miss Quote.
sufficient unto the day is the evil
thereof
HE WAS SURE OF 1T.
Drug Clerk wrapping up parceD--I
think you will like this chest protector.
Customer am sure of it. l intend
it shall be my bosom friend.
IN A NEWSPAPER OFFICE.
-Stranger-I am looking for a gentle
man named Demon.
Religious Editor-You probably want
the devil" He's on the floor below.
THE BLIND MANS WAY.
Blind Tom always paid his bills
promptly, even after telling the collec-
tor that he couldn't see him that day.
THE PASSING OF ROYALTY.
The king of Portugal generously Of
fers one of the royal palaces to Dom
ity should be noted by other monarchies.
1t is only question of time when the
king of Portugal will himself be wan
derer on the face OF the earth, glad
to accept pair of breeches that
do not bag at the knees or a place
to lay his head. The fellow feeling that
makes us wOndrOus kind will no doubt
prompt the offer of some imperial resi-
dence to the king of Portugal. And
then that monarchy will in turn yield
to the majesty of the people and an
other king will be trudging over the
hills To the poor house. So it will go
on. AS the breath of freedom blows
Kingdoms and principalitieS will go
down until the last crowned head will
have only the sky to cover it. Dom
Pedro is lucky in being one of the early
royal trampS to start.
THE NEW CAR CONDUCTOR.
Passengers on a Broadway car the
other morning witnessed an interesting
scene. The driver was new hand who
had evidently been put to work in an
emergency and had not received all the
instructions that new hand requires.
The wind was blowing sharply in his
face, and the passengers were glad to
see him put the lines through the hand
hole in the door through which the con-
ductor collects fare from passengers on
the platform.
This done the new driver came in the
car himself. closed the door softly and
serenely drove his team from the inside
OF the car. He bowed right and left to
the passengers as he took up his stand
in the car, and remarked pleasantly
that the weather was little sharp, but
thanks for the kindheartedness of the
company in providing this hole in the
door very much sharper weather could
be endured.
He was a sociable sort of man and
talked cheerfully to the passengers, the
chief point of his observations being
that there was a great deal of abuse
heaped upon corporations that was I'M
deserved. Il take it as self-evident,"
he said, that corporation cannot be
sOulleSs that goes to the expense of cut
ting holes in Street-car door and lin
ing it with brass, simply that the driver
may stand inside and drive" He would
have said more, but just then the con-
duct0r rushed in and showed him out on
the front platform.
HOW JONES DIED.
IL hear your husband died of spasms,
Mrs. Jones.''
Yes, poor man, he laid in a spas
mOdic state for twenty-three hours be-
fore he died."