Morning journal and courier., 1889-12-23
POPULAR.

It is about the middle of December or thsreabouts that the young man wonders why he didn't discover sooner how popular he is among the young women. Washington Capital.
 Everything is lovely and -.-Mr. for Christmas presentr Miss Alert-''Cer- mas tree. ."-Puck.
 Too Great Strain.-Physician: "What Is your profession, ,siri" Patient (pompously): ''I'm gentleman" Physician: "Well, you'll have to try something else; it doesn't agree with you. u."-Lifs.
 Necessity is the mother of invention. These patent self-applying buttons would mained content to stay at home and do the sewing. g.-Terre Haute Express.
 Sc. Louis man: "I will bet you 6 new suit the fair will be held in St.Louis." New York man: "Where is the suit to be made2" St. Louis man: "In St. Louis, of course" New York man: sI must decline the bot. ."-Cloth- fer and Furnisher.
 Young wife-"Are you happy, dear, to be sailing on the matrimonial sea with such a kind obsdient mate G'' Husband-"Yes, in- deed :; but don't you think we better put into port little while and ship cook l''- Kearney Enterprise.
 Mabel-"Let's play house; I'll be the mother" George-"Yes; and I'll be the father" Clara-"And I'll be the cook" Mabel and George Indignantly that's just you! You always want to be the boss of everything. Life.
 A pardonable mistake.-Young mother QatelY from Girton)-"Come in. dear. Ex- cuse me for one moment. I'm just ordering a crib for Herodotus," Fair friend (not from Girton)-"Oh, that's what you're going to call dear baby, is itF'-Punch.
 She-"Don't you admire gothic arshitec- ture in churches, Johni There is something about it that suggests repose." He-"I dunno. Pretty much any style of church suggests repose to me, provided the pews are comfortable. Burlington Free Press.
 Care of property: Small boy-s'Papa, will you lend me your knife" Papa-"Lend you my knifei It isn't 8 week aimee bought you Lost itp' ooh, no; I've got it yet" "Then why don't you use itr' "You said should take good care of it, and I want to take up tacks. s."-Nsw York Weekly.
 "I regret to say, gents" said Mir. Johnson, stopping the dance in ''partners to the cen ter," 'de ice cream mans here, but he won't leave de viand till he's paid, an as all my is de wish O de comp'ny dat de ice cream be lef', it'll be my juty to collec' small sum from each gent."-New York Sun.
 Visitor to Editorial Sanctum-"Hsre is an article have prepared on the political situa- tion." Editor-'Rsally, my dear sir, we have 50 many articles on hand that"- Wis., itor-"I know it. Half the jackasses of the country are writing on the subject, and I thought it was time for me to say some. thing. ."-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 Human Nature. = Yellowly "Just see that old drunkard they're taking into the station therel What wreck he is!' Brownly-"Yes, rum appears to have downed him." Y.-''It's tho way with 'em all; once they start, there is no knowing where they will stop" B.-"Thats 80. We'll, as it's a pretty cold night, suppose we go in and take drinka" Y.-"All right."-Boston Courier.
 If you want to worry Your dearest foe, Don't treat him with contempt or scorn, But in big hurry, To g toy-shcp go. And buy his boy big tin horn. New York Journal