Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-09-20
PITH AND POINT.

Dining roonl-An empty stomach
A man experiences "that sinking feel
ing" when he falls overheard
Volumes of gas must furnish very light
reading. Baltimore Americaa
Motto for the buzz-saw before and
after tal1ing) off '-Buuiagtoa
Free Press.
A Burlington girl who has refused
eleven suitors is fond of saying that all
men are brothers. -Burlingtoa free Press.
"Have you any children2" asked the
landlord. "Nonc but goat" was :he
reply. "All right; you can have the
house. "-Boston Courier
The proof of the pudding is in the cat
ing, and then it is too late to correct auv
typographical errors that may be discov-
ered.-Ha'pers Ba=ar.
When "Lo' puts on his daubs of red
lis for remembrance; that is clear,
Since, trushfully, it may be said
To be II sortof Sioux veneer
Philadelphia Press
s'AIy dear friend, am in despair.
Alma's heart is rs hard as steel" "Sup
pose you try it with diamonds; they are
harder than steel, You Know Flieyenag
Bl0ettcr
The Artist Ito his model in suit of
maiD-"Wbat's the matter, Foley2 Can't
you keep stilla" The Modcl-"I cannot,
sor. Yez shut bluebotthlc fly in tn
hilmit. - Time.
The Chicago Idea.-s'Will YOU share
my lot with me2" asked he of the real cs
tate agents daughter "What's it worth
front foota" calmly inquired the sweet
creature Chicago Nail.
Mis- Boston-''Papa, 1 find our pro-
lessor OF pathology interesting" Mr..
Boston--Our what'" Miss Boston-"Our
professor of pathology-our guide, YOU
know. "-Ne'o YORK san.
Typewriter Agcnt-'sI called to sec
you in reference to your typewriter.
Would You exchange if You could Get
some improvements" licrcilant-..I
can't; I'm engaged 10 her. "-Jtagc.
Bridc-"G George, Gear, when we reach
town let lis try TO avoid leaving the i'm
preston that we are newly married. :"
GAIL right, Maud; you can lug this
vaiise. "-NejrGSit Si0te J0urnul
Ee's like q gun, this hotel guest
Whose bill has been enlarged,
Because hcs; very apt 90 kick
When lie is ove.cnargei
-.Sci Francisco Bi:Yctii.
Mrs. Gabble-"W What an awfully wor-
ried, anxious, despairing look Mrs. Good
soul has. :" Mrs. Dabbe-''Yes, guess
she's stopped doing her own work and
has gone to keeping girl "-New Yo,N
Weekly.
She lin the art depoD- "Didn't the
clerk say, jim, that them two people Oh
that there pitcher were Paul and Vir-
ginia2" He-''I don't remember, Susan,
whether he said Virginia or W,st Yir-
ginia. "-Juage.
According 10 the descriptive writer
ON the London papers, the Shah OF Per-
STA, when on dress parade, must resemble
greatly the front window of pawn shop
when the sale OF unrcdcemcd pledges is
on.-Ne,o York Herald.
"Court the fresh air." was the doctors adj
To widow quite feeble, yet fair;
So she set her cap for a rich mans son.
And she easily caught the fresh heir
Table 2uli:.
Eccentric Old Club Man Ito new
footman)-"No then, Patrick, call
me Q CAP" Fat (who thinks this is g
dodge to try his sincerity)-"Och, no,
yer honor! It's not meself that be call
ing you any name, at all !"
1t nearly killed the jcweler,
1t came so unawares;
But the other fellow little cared.
His spectacles had sadly Jared
And so he said: 'Are You prepared
To mount the golden starasf'
Philadelphia Press
Scene, Inn: Prince Hal (angrily)-
$50 off, Pistols so off !" Pistol -
"Thanks, your highness. I'm glad to
De discharged. (C!aps cap on his head).
Princeton with your cap, rogue.
Where's your manners2" Falstaif- "Par-
don most merry Prince, but how can a
pistol so off without q cap?" prince
Hal faints; Pistol cxplodes r. U. Ed
Curtain = slow music. = Philadelphia
Press.