New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-06-21
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

There is some sort Of an association In Chicsn
which is sending postal cards TO Eastern men ofsrs
to give them any academic degree they desire foe
money consideration. 1t will sell . very nice D d
degree, very slightly shopworn. for go Only IN
more left gentlemen: step right up and pick one ~
TO SHIT yourself No wonder that some really ~
clergymen refuse TO their titles. when they -
thus hawked about 10
article with the word copyright over II. "welu
said he. the copy may have been right but IN b
pretty intelligent compositions in tho ONCE TO cot =
many things wrong'-(Boston Transcript.
"The Christian Inquirer ssrcastcally remarks tSst
for the EpIscopaans TO build q cathedral about
sensible as It would be for the Mehodsts or Baptis
to build Tower Of Babel.
Mr.. Hobbs! see that a Newport Penn. farmer be-
hairless calf on exhibition. What . remarkable
freak that Is.
Mrs. TobLs-Rematkablel Why you're bald-hesdsd
yourself, JOhn.+Mnncapolls Tribune.
Nothing makes a genuine Bostonian madden thas
for some one TO confuse the Pilgrims and the Puraus
together The Pilgrims ,eem to have been Purttan
without the sting
IIs Envies the Gar. -Grocer-Mr. Slowpay. DO yo
know why the Gar Of Russia would make . success
In the grocery business T ,,o0., ,s,,,,.o
well, It's because he doesn't trust anybody
CTeNas Sifungs.
The Young graduates who delivered commcncem eni
oraIOns on "The Digestive Tract Of the House Flys
and The Brain and Cranlal Nerves Of the sslamande
have tried to set new fashion In commencemeu
oratIons but It is not likely TO prove popular. tn
style that begins, Classmates We stand to day via
our past behind us, and our future before US. only
the present is 0urs,' VIII retain Its supremacy for
long time TO come
Man in a Glass IIouse.-Mr Typemeta (prnsb
-Tapemeasure IS the worst fellow u mako promises
and not keep them you ever saw. Now he said be
would have those trousers OF mine done two weeks
ago. and-eh what IS II. bub
Errsnd BOy-Plcase, sir, Mr.. Tapemeasure wanu
Ia know when bis crulars ARE going 10 be pnntcdf
He says you promised 'em TO him last eek|Buhlnc
ton Free Press
The Rev. DR.. Rynett. the president Of the Cnios
Prohibition Ieague Of Pennsyvania, thinks that the
strange apathy OF temperance people OF all classes
was largely responsible for the defeat OF Prohibitions
IN Pennsylvania lie Is about right, except that the
apathy was not strange. on the contrary, Il Wa
natural aud easily explained The temperance poo
pie Of the state saw that State Prohibition would noe
promote Temperance, and so they didn't vote for u
| .rm sadl-,t when I sing" she said. when Henry
came in and caught her In the very Gt Oh 'oc~A~
Are you'- he replied smoothing the look Of ssTn,
which riied his visase Darling. y snSI oe.
constant cudeavor To MAKE your Ire choori" o"~
| oo>ton Transcript.
A baseball man in Texas has struck oil, but
| didn't do It with bat.
The late John Gilbert never ran on Win eno1"
mans Wife never affected Endish accent ana 49, ~
a great acfor-(PhiIsdelphis Press
"The burlington Free Press speaks OF the orsssses
OF ysssar Next thing shall hear OF - ~rtreeses
| and /. nursss.s., aud cookessss' What strange tnnn
we do see when We don't have gun.
Pit His Foot In.-Mr Blobson tplunging despers'ey
,r,n rnnrcr,atton with Mrs Plentypop. at q reccp
| ,ion,-po YOU believe In a third party, MIS- fien'
'yI%p' p,o,so, ,,vh,sn.r,nr 10 her lort,-shh! she
| a -, rcri W.
| The religious editor OF 4" The Boston Herald mads
| , h,J hr,,k ,he other day. Commenting on the fae'
| ,a, nm a he'll I'm 4 church IN Newton arc engraved
| ,be wor,s Blessed Is the people that khoN "'
| ioyh,l sound he remarked that these Woris arc
ais, engraved on a certain Hebrew shofar' OF rsu'
horn And then he added That a legend OF the jews
| should now be PLACED upon the oeh tha' hans " =
| a LouSe OF worship erected by GentheS j i"uTa'
., the dwelling tendencies OF modern progress Asa
,,,or -, ,act the worls In question are taken from
the Psalms which are recognized by Christians as Wen
as Jews
D,sheartening-" How are you getting a,on "a
,stcI a travelling man Of an Acquaintance" VINO h"a
| - Oh. ] have met with share oi sue'o'''
| Hamlet for the first time. . ,,.,,
Did You gel through all right. ..,,,,,. and AL,
| YES. except thd haPP'"o' ~
into Oph"lis'S grave ,,.rr.ss,no.
That must have been embsrrasshag;, 81. .,a,.rcs
II was: but wouldn't have minded II ,ns suoin,
,,,r't seemed 60 disappointed when ] got ouI
! -IMcrrhant Traveller
sor,b yonkers little girl the othsr day said she
sr.w ,hcy were going to have cabbage for dinner Is
She could hear It with her nose
rho BENEFIT EntertaInment.-"O OF course saia 81.
| ,, I"V = an't the man TO hesitate for minute OF
rnmplaln when comes 10 helping those VINO are sooS
sisTrrSs but II Won figure II right down. am sooa
! ir,I OF q food sufferer myself
| wcII 7 should say so I've been with my We
On four amateur theatrical entertainments ana IVY
| strawberry festivals In the past TWO VEGAS -V
| chant Traveller.