Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-10
FOURTH AVENUE FADS
As Breezfiy Recountcd by One of the Genu,
Oflcc Boy.

As Breezfly RecOuntcd by One of the Genus
Oalcc Boy.
You being Of the populace that doesn't
have an Office on Fourth avenue, of course
your idea is that all the smartness on the
street is pent up in the heads of the gentle
men who have their names cut inlaid in marble
and brought out more prominently by means of
gold leaf; the gentlemen who are in broker
firms, and who do the owl act as to winking
and blinking when you call to get pointers on
stocks. Well, you are right Just little bit
which is to acknowledge that the brokers are
pretty well built for quick headwork, but
at the same time the entire volume of
wit and wisdom of the avenue doesn't
lie heaped up within their anatomies. Airs
have much TO do with making man, and this
is as true of Fourth avenue as anywhere. Ap-
pearances pull fellow through in five minutes
where brains without appearances would leave
him in the lurch for five hours; for, you OBJ
serve. it would take him that expenditure of
time to let the world into the fact that he has
brains. When the tailor makes the man, and
the man has cheek and keeps his tongue rest
ing quietly inside of IL you can safely count that
that chap will get your confidence and make
his point while you are snubbing some man
that nature has displayed handiwork in max
ing, but with whom the tailor has had
pretty fair average sort of dome of thought
on your own shoulders, and you may say to
yourself every time you think OF it,: ZAP;
pearance is nothing: intellect's everything"
and then, you know, the first tailor-made dude
that comes into your countingroom meets your
encouraging smile, or If you are not much on
smiling, finds outward evidence that there is
within your head the pIepossession which
pretty things make on all Of us.
-
don't say this is to your discredit, but Imust
say from my superior perch as the Office boy
that it is this instructive or acquired quality OF
head that has much to do with keeping
up the supply of citizens who don't
hit the right side of the market
every time. And l must add to this the re-
proach that it is mild degree Of this quality
that causes you to ignore the Office Boy when
you call down in Fourth avenue, while you
fed and important way to the throne of the
chief of our firm. Not that the chief isn't all
right. He is up in the business and there is no
discounting him; but all the same there is An
other there or thereabouts who is unsupported
of deep thought as to stocks and the specufa-
tive markets, and who is always passed lightly
by, except when there is message work to De
done, who knows a thing or two, and who
has ears to hear, and, what's more, lets them
hear.
Having the regard of a growing boy for bread
and butter, don't propose to be sarcastic as to
the firm or its customers and get magnificent
toward the latter, because you and they don't
study and understand Fourth avenue botany
as illustrated in the buds of finance who perch
on highest Office stools, when chance Is ripe for
such, and who do the responsible leg-work in
the intervals of those chances. That would be
to put on airs and, for my part, am not putting
on more than one air at a time which is about
as much as boy or man can handle without
stumbling. ALI the same "know what's what"
and when young fellow has got on that far,
and knows how to apply the knowledge, he can
take in and stow away deal of interesting in
formation, and perhaps get up some little
speculative deals of his own that may oc-
casionally turn out to the glory OF his pocket
=
The other day 1 thought was onto big
thing; big enough to see me through next
summer, when 1 expect to have an inaugural all
to myself in the line of a starter on hot-season
trips, such as the chief and the other partners
Of the firm and their high and mightinesses. the
clerks, take every year. I had heard of de-
clines in fractions, owing partly to increased
expenses, and in part to unfavorable impress
sions caused by slight accidents occasionally
resulting in delaying the cars. Though all
concede these lines will do growing business as
the CITY grows, these temporary Interruptions
and little disappointments produced. some de-
clines in quotations during the week. Now here
is how expected to hit the market. 1 have
heard of man who was reported to have said
that he had ridden twice day on the traction
and had never been on delayed car: What
was nv conclusion from this? Why, that this
man was Mascotte. How could apply this
theory so as to bulge my pocket? Why. by ne
gotiating with the traction companies and with
the man. WneTeupOn OH Iu6
men of the two companies, expecting to play
one against the other, a method that is not al
together unknown on our street
Says 1: what will you give to insure one of
your cars pop sure against accident or delay of
any sort?'
That was the form put to each head man.
Both thought it would be good thing to have
such assurance, but they both seemed struck
with the same idea, namely, that the only as
surance that they called tangible and PAL
pable was the description had on exhibit
in making the proposition. That was cheap
wit however. and didn't care SO long as I
monopoiized the salable quality of the article:
Says ], "a mascotte is what propose, and
don't you bother yourself as to the elegance of
the theory. III look out for the practice and
If it is mo workee, no payee. See"
Then / explained further that had man in
hiding that had never been on delayed trip,
though he had travelled over 1000 miles on the
rope roads. Neither Mr.. Elkins nor Mr.. Ver-
ner believed me. That was evident by their
EXPLANATIONS; but they were too polite to for
mulate disbelief in the vulgar way. Still the
possibility was worth grasping, so each in turn
admitted, for if the unknown chap was a real
mascotte he might be used to advantage by
assigning him to duty on unlucky cars. will
not tell you what this transaction netted me-;
but putting to it what may gain by keeping
nv ears open about electric light and gas pho
nograph, and the true inwardness of other
sucn things, 1 hope to be able ito go down in
style to the seaside next lJuly.
AN:oFFIcE Boy.