The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-03-20
MR.. WM. NYE.
His Thrilling Experience In Hotel.

MS lhrlllins experience In Hotel.
L had very trying experience last
week. 1t was painful but not fatal.
l had been travelling all the night be-
fore, and fatigue and brain fag were
together fighting for my very exist
ence. l got room when L arrived
and retired to seek much needed
rest. 1 had just retired, in fact, hav-
ing carefully locked the door and
left the key in the lock, that the curl
GUS could not look i'll through the
keyhole and see me as 1 lay there
asleep and make $1,000 painting of
me.
Just then there was q slight rattle
at the door, such as you hear when a
chamber maid attacks it with a pass
key and comes in the room to sweep
holes in the carpet and fill your
lungs full of debris. l smiled to my
self, for my own key was'in the door,
and l said softly, as L bathed my
blushing features in the pillow: "Ah!
aha! ye cannot enter now." But she
continued to rattle away with her
key, and 1 soon saw, with horror that
my own was beginning to lose its grip,
and finally it fell to the floor with a
loud report, having been pushed out
of the lock from the other side.
lean hardly describe the horror of
my situation. 1 thought of handing
my handkerchief and perfumery over
the transome to her, and beseeching
her, and begging her, if she had a
mother or any other relative in
whom she had any confidence what
ever, to go away. L thought of going
to the door and telling her that we
had better go through life as nearly
as possible by separate routes, and
that needed rest really more than l
did society, but [ did not dare to get
out of bed for fear the door would
open, and was wise for it did now
burst open, as l had feared, and q
tall girl in the prime of life, with
flashing eyes and distended nostril,
came into the room. With q wild
shrek, l covered my head with the
bedclothes, shuddered till my teeth,
which were in a tumbler of water
near by, chartered together.
go away you hateful thing 1
said, and never, never come back
again any more"
"But Iwant to change them Sheets"
she said.
$50 away" 1 said again. Even
your voice is hateful to my sight.
Take my beautiful Seth Thomas sill
yer watch if you will, but, oh! go
away, and heaven will reward you
even better than that"
She then skunk from the room, but
it was a long time before 1 could go
to sleep. Even then my dreams were
troubled and my mind filled with ap-
prehension. 1 thought 1 was being
pursued by a red-eyed unicorn with a
navy blue stomach and a Chinese Ian
tern tied to his tail. I tried to shake
him off, but 1 could not. He led me
down into the Internal regions, and
insisted on showing me the iron
bridge and the high school, and
spoke of the great progress of the
place, and said they were likely to
get new and competing road in
there this summer; and he showed
me the library and walked me out to
the fair grounds and down the lake
shore, so l could take sulphur bath
and spoke of the desirability of the
climate for people with bronchial af-
lection, and wanted me to speak of it
in my letters to the press, and said
he would pay me well for it.
just then heard a knock on my
door. 1 was so glad to have anybody
knock, instead of picking the lock,
that L asked, "Who's there?' A rich,
manly voice replied, "Me."
1 was glad to hear the welcome
voice of one of my own sex, and so 1
undid the door for the gentleman
with great alacrity. Just as L was
bounding lightly back towards my
couch with merry laugh, the party
strolled into the middle of the room
bearing small but rare collection of
clammy, mucilaginous towels. She |
was a heavy set chambermaid with |
terror cotter hair and bass voice.
[ do not complain. l do not muir
mur. 1 do not repine. But l say
that chamber maid ought not do |
that way. A chambermaid who has |
a bass voice ought to seek out some
other calling. She may put a guests |
slippers so far under the bed that he |
cannot get them without calling out |
a hook and ladder company. She |
may weep over his letters from his |
wife, or drown her sorrows in his bay |
rum, but she ought not to take bass |
voice into hotel and expect to es-
cape criticism. BILL NYE.