Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-04-27
F0LLYS E0IBLEs.

THE tiller Of ship does not plough
the sea.
EVERY brewer should wear ! full
beered.
WHEs rogues agree honest men catch
the Once.
The people who never get right IN
this world are those who get left.
A HAWK may get the rooster after
breakfast, but before breakfast the
rooster always takes crow.
IT has been said that stylish women
owe much to their dressmakers. Il will
be thus until dressmakers do cash
business.
THERE is o great deal Of money in
frog-raising," says q contemporary.
There ought to be. Every one has q
green back.
SOME one asserts that there lis no
Drawer class of men than lawyers
This is because conscience makes cow
ards of other people.
4Do YoU know why one OF the latest
fashionable fads is called the Octave
Dinnergs 4No.. Because everything
is ate up, you blockhead.s
Me Lord Bareaeres What would
you be, I'd like to know, if I had not
married you? His American Wife
| About $3.50. 900 better off.
LETTING down q drop curtain be-
tween acts is suggestive" remarked
squildig. $50 it is, J" replied Mcswilli
gen; @let's go out and take drop our
selves"
OTTAWA used to be the capital of
Canada, and now about four million
dollars of the capital of the Dominion
is money taken thither by financial ex-
cursionists from the United States.
YOU'VE LADY, want a pair of SHOES,
large and comfortable. Two viii do.
New Boy (glancing at her foot Mr..
Leather, the lady wants two shoes.
large and comfortable. Where's that
box of skies?
HE-At last, my dear Amelia, the
happy moment has arrived when I can
tell You how much love You. She
For goodness sake, Mr.. Tompkins, don't
tell it here. He-Why? There are no
witnesses. She That's Just it.
A wAGGIsH cabinet-maker, who re-
paired chairs as an accommodation, adj
vertised thus: @All kinds of chairs,
and bills contracted therefor, receipted
with pleasure" His wit and wisdom
turned him in deal of cash trade.
TOURIST What great changes time
works here in the West. A few years
ago this region was peopled by reds with
out white. Kansas Rustler An
sence the drought, it's ben mostly
whites without red. Oh, time works
heap O. changes.
Mrs. CATERER Mr.. Slicer, you seem
to be in very solemn mood this morn
ing. Mr.. Slicer (dissecting an alleged
sirloin) -Yes'm! My mind is wander
ing back to the days of the Christian
martyrs; / am recalling all their suffer-
ings at the stake.
Mrs. KENTUcK Ito husband packing
trunk Did you put in any toilet ar
ticles, Henry? MI. K.-Oh, yes, I
wouldn't forget them. Mrs. X. What
have you got? Mr.. 1.-Two bottles of
whisky and corkscrew. I reckon
that's plenty, amt it?
CLARA-You're real mean, Cholly.
There you've sat all evening and done
nothing but twit me and looking as wise
as an owl all the time. Cholly That's
what an owl always does. Clara How's
that? Cholly- Why, he always comes
t'wit t'woo. brakes Magazine.
@GREAT row between two actors at
the theater this afternoon" That so ?"
eyes, vow they'll never speak again; but
they'll be friends before midnight, I'll
guarantee. They have to-" @Why?"
Manager says they must make up for
the next performance. Chicago
Ledger.
MAUD Ito Edith, whose engagement
to Charlie Flashby is just announced =
So Charlie doesn't send you box Of
bonbons every day, as he used to me?
Edith-No, indeed Charlie would never
bride any ones love with candy. Maud
20, of course not. He used to tell me
there was no use wasting money on a
girl when you were sure Of her any
how.
twas glad to see you, Mr.. Merrett,
said Miss Snyder. aYou are snch
stranger" @Tm delighted to know you
were pleased to see me, he replied; Il
was afraid it would be otherwise. With
your permission will call again.
Certainly, Mr.. Merritt. will be re-
ceiving calls again next New Year. -
Ne,1 York Sun.
Mrs. PARsoN JONES There's your
shirt. It's mended. You've shown q
pretty temper about broken button
hole, haven't you? aBut aOh.
I'd scold some more If were in your
place" well, "A sermon on
patience as domestic virtuel Umphi
/ hone your eoncreoation will aniov ii.