Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-04-20
SAVING HARD SINNERS.
Ely JOHN STEPHEN.

| If not home itself, a boarding house. Do
you know of any good place.
No. jim: I've not been boarding 70,
| years. The !.yst way is to put an adVcr-
ti,emcnt in o. the sunday papers, and
| you vii have plenty of replies, for Chi
! cngo is divided into two classes. those who
| board aud those who keep house"
Il should like to get nice, quiet place,
where | could have some home comforts, n
! Ii tie musi' chat in the plrlor, and Tint
sort of thing, You know.
oh, yes. know all about it, Mr., Jane
| i relay. You have got romlntc notions
OF on ding houses and expect TO find in
| them all the comic Is of home, but you Will
learn that there is no place like homo, and
| trying to find n substitute in a boarding
house is like trying to gather figs from
| thiStleS and grapes f,om thorns.
Come now, was the CHEEKY Icioindcr,
don't try TO discourage me. | think |
can get through an Advertisement Just the
| place | want
No doubt You may. 1t seems to me
there is nothing under the sun that may
not be obtained through the medium of an
advertisement.
Yes, | believe you. And | don't think
the!c is anything 100 ridiculous on earth
in the way Of IN advertisement that will
rot elicit reply.
II hen. suppose you illustrate the truth
of YOU own theory by advertising for
b"4fd In some quaint, ont OF the way man
her mat VIII ward OH the average race OF
| protession'l boarding house keepers, and
hrinS TO your refer one OF these matEonly
souls, inil OF The milk OF hum m kindness.
who only keep boa derS for the sake of
company and are entirely above mercen-
| airy motives?
| "SinCe Won hive | con talkinu | laNe
framed al adVertlS meat, which Non, no
DOUBT, may con Id r ridiculous, but bet
You supper at hms.ey shall get an
answer to 1t. Here 1t IS.
MI. James Bac'ay, taking pencil and
note TOOK nom his pocket, wrote the 1ol-
| lowing.
Eo4rd NanleA.A Young gentleman,
| with the best OF references, desires board
III n refined family OF good social position.
where LIS eIllvlnG conduct Will be conSId-
cred as sufficient compensation for his
board. Address ;. Is. -, this office.
Great Caesar! exclaimed the other, III
genuine astonlshment, you don t I'M Sine
tor moment that even in this big city of
chicago. which coutaInS every shade AMI
variety CT characters, f'om the sweetest
SAINTS to the soures; ctnnks, that you Will
ma anyone so lhlla"thiopicallN lOolishas
| TO answer that advertisement:
Yes, Mr. Thomas Temple, sage and
sober philosopher and man of the world
that YOU are, VIII get genuine answers to
this advertiser MT. VIII You accept the
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| ,,a,''';, ,,.,,,,, 7 49,, I,;eI 81 nv I'M \.
e''l u, "Nu VIZ ,'o
~ r. ,iia i'o - 81 Dcu Tu'No'e
Vi I',., w. lio't a,Nl,io Jus'1e.
i.oi ~, Ie 700 SURE 'itt 'ne eh'el'"'n-
nv b ~ " II. ~ my eroH?o; ,...
I,o'n S"','!'leui "''os iiSn 'iiet' o.
a, 5a;Ii W VIC Hll', ~ U,.o VI .no
sie"e u.'tloS' Mnele 'iG SiiS'i I "ut eI
i 'SG,nen. was "''S pau" i'l anu ol''eIe" u
" r. . p'! ..,: ~.
!, Nc ''ii' u gi"'Ioh ne :. ieL'tH P"'!ou'
.Ho l'sv lGi'.'tiM Vi MI l"'ci"y pclnS;
ny Wv, ~ nJ'ii"I, ~" WI
.i-,'n u' "ii gus ANY,, INV. siiii Vfiol
~ iD"t ""i'ie' anu f'o'o 'no 'i"'i VI my
III hulhoet WIN io"r hSures on Mlchl-
gan avenue SAT Ilo.hef an" daughter III
cosy an'eIooiii mat h'o every appear
"n'e' IL NOT OF oppressive opulehce, yet
OF elegance ana Iehheineht.
tnihk, my Gear SAD 'hc molher'
mat Harry heeus moro cheel1ni aSso-
crates than We are; although, poor boy, he
bears well up uhuer ms aithctlon' but,
ever SINCE mat dreadful accident which
conhned nm to the house; his spirits,
once SO huoyaht, seem to be depressed,
| | should like to ENGAGE some agreeable