Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1889-11-01
MR.. AND MRS. eoWsER.

The other morning asked Mr.. Bowser If he
wouldn't send up a carpenter TO hang the
screen door to the kitchen, and, after a mo-
ment's thought, he replied:
I'm in no hurry this morning and I'll hang
it myself"
'But it's got to have a spring on, you
know"
"Wel, what Of itP'
"Can you-you"-
eff | can't l want to be knocked ON the
head for an idiotl I've put on more door and
gate springs than you've got hairs in your
head"
He got the door down from the loft, and
after running up and down and backwards
and forwards for half an hour his assortment
of tools consisted of two saws, an augur. a
brace and bit, plane, screw driver and
screws, square, compass, a inter box and a
tape line.
screen doorF' queried
lit may and it may not" he replied.
"Can assist you in any way?"
Can you assist mel Mrs. Bowser, you
talk as II you didn't regard me as half baked!
When | want your valuable assistance I'll
send you word on postal cardp'
l retired in good order and remained out of
sight twenty minutes. When returned he
had the door and seemed very well salts
fed
You'll have to make slight change in
that, Mr.. Bowser."
"Howf'
you've hung it top to bottom"
Il have, ehs I'll bet you $40, 200, 900 to a
cent haven't"
well, look at the knob and the catch and
holdings on the panels"
He was fairly beaten, and he realized it,
but instead of acknowledging the corn he
looked at it for a moment and then quietly
said:
II slipped it on that way to see if you
would notice it, but you'd have let it pass if
hadn't called your attention to it'll"
In the course of half an hour he made the
change and was putting on the spring when
I came back. He had never put spring on
a door in his life, and it would not have de-
tracted from his dignity to ask my advice,
but he would have died first. He measured
for it and began to bore hole for the screen,
After he had worked for two or three min
utes I asked:
''Mr. Bowser, which way are you turning
that gimlet2"
What do you meant" he demanded, as he
stopped work.
you have been turning to the left"
''Of course l havel Whoever heard OF
turning boring tool any other way9"
way and not accomplish anything. That
gimlet and all other gimlets turn to the
right"
"They do, eha What smart wife havel
You had better deliver series of lectures on
mechanism"
"Wnl you turn to the rightg"
mo, ma'aml"
He bored and bored, determined not to
give in, and at length pushed him aside,
and turned the gimlet to the right and had
it into the wood in no time.
Didn't tell you SO, Mr.. Bowser9'
''WeIl, the man who made that gimlet de-
serves state prison! It's the first one l ever
saw that turned to the right, and | had seen
millions of them before you were born"
''Can you put the spring on a1oneF"
Mrs Bowser," he answered, after glaring
at me in chilled steel way for half a min
ute, perhaps ought to be in the idiot asy
lum, and perhaps do know enough to come
in when it rains. You will oblige me very
much by going into the house and knocking
that squalling young 'un on the head"
1t was half an hour before dared make
an excuse to get out again. By that time
Mr. Bowser had the spring on, but the door
stood open instead Of shut He was standing
i'll deep study.
81 know what ais it, Mr. Bowser"
Chow shrewd!"
"When you frightened the spring up you
turned it to the right That throws the door
open. If you'll tighten to the left, the door
will spring shut"
He sat down on the steps and looked at me
with twelve different shades of irony and sar-
casm in his expression, and finally deigned ~
reply:
'Where did you learn all you knows"
"Wiu you fix that spring as | tell you9'
mo, ma'am, won'tI' I've been looking it
over, and know where the trouble is. lisa
spring for a left hand door. I should have
seen it at the outset if you hadn't been both
ering around. "
Il can make that spring work on this door. "
"Mrs Bowser, | wouldn't have your con-
ceit for no money. No wonder you haven't
single friend in this neighborhood."
II have all want, and can fix that spring
in two minutes"
Never! You simply want an opportunity
to break it, You'd tear the whole kitchen
down for the sake of carrying your point.
Go in and maui that bowling baby some
more"
[ grabbed the wrench from his hands, loos-
ened the spring and then turned it the other
way, and lol the door shut and was held stiff
in its place, as was designed.
There! MIR. Bowser!"
''There whatp
1.-THE spring shuts the door,"
81 don't see it. ="
s'But lookl Did you ever see door work
nicerg'
''It doesn't work at all"
''But seel'
stf eoo n ,,7;ood door. iuSt oS I oYDecfetI To