davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
A Mummy Interviewed.

Good morning, Mr.. Mummy. Woke
up at last, have you? ANY objection to
being interviewed?
Don't see that can help myself very
we'll"
What is your age?'
Three thousand years"
you seem to be pretty well preserve
for so old a man. Ever drink 2"
I'D like to, for I'm awful dry"
did you belong 10 the royal family
of Egypt?'
Yes; one of the Ptolemi.'
Il thought So
"Why?"
You're so md o stuck up"
yes, I've been stuck up in this niche
for long time"
Hadn't you better lay off your wraps!
You won't feel them when you go out il
you don't"
You must take me for medium"
Why"
lyon speak about laying off my raps."
Il see. Are you in the original pack
age in which you were put up?"
Il am. It's mixture of myrrh-"
IHe NY TTHtneIeTS.
"Sulphate of soda, saltpeter-"
Did they salt Peter for it?'
Cinnamon, resin"
Excuse me. Were you a beau in
your day."
well, rather"
Then they wanted to rosin the beau
but go on"
Asphalt and bitumen.'
"Bit-tu-men! No wonder they bound
you over to keep the peace. But what
is your outer covering; your ulster, as it
were?"
About thousand yards of papyrus."
1T must have made your papyrus-tle
round pretty lively to accumulate all
of that"
He was Ptolemi, sirw proudly.
"Well?"
Would you expect him Ptolemi with
out suitable embalming?"
"Of course not. No Egyptian would
do it in your day. According to report
there was nothing that would make an
Egypt-shin around equal to the necessity
of preparing family mummy so that it
would keep. Any of these little jokes
of mine strike you as nOvel?"
mo. heard them all when I was Q
kid"
Mummy signs YEARLY and drops off to
sleep again.-Tards Sif1inqs.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
Daniel Webster,s BLUE Suit.

Daniel Webster went to college in q
homespun suit, of which probably every
thread was carded, spun, and woven by
his mothers hand from the wool of their
own sheep. It was dyed-in-the-wool
suit, and the color was indigo blue, the
old New England color. In the South
it is butternut, but though our Yankee
grandmothers and great-grest-great-
grandmothers knew all about what
butternut bark would do, and the subtle
power for slate color that lay in sumach
beeries and bark of white maple, and
various dyes that root and flower, bark
AID leaf could be made to yield, through
tie agency of vitriol and copperas to
-set' them fast, the universal standby
was the blue pot-par excellence the
"dye-pot" stood in the chimney
corner of every kitchen worth naming.
So Webster was fitted out IN indigo blue
from collar to ankle-unbecoming for
his swaxt skin-and ct o9-hand end
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
The Curriculum at Annapolis.

Outside of the technical studies, the
course of instruction at the Naval
Academy is comprehended in the one
word, "Math." -Math" is the cadets
abbreviation for mathematics, the rock
upon which many an aspirant for naval
honors is wrecked. OF course there is
instruction in other branches modern
languages, English studies. natural
sciences, etc.-but a cadet soon realizes
that the great stepping-stone is mathe-
mates. When graduate looks back
upon what he has passed through, his
most vivid recollections are of this
hydra-headed ~Math"; of the algebra
and geometry that worried him as
~plebe,' and of the applied mechanics
that took away half the pleasure of his
senior year. What struggle it was to
weed out all youthful Imagination from
the mind, and to plant there only those
ideas that could be expressed in mathe-
NAUTICAL formulie! And yet Maths
Importance is not rverrated for it is the
groundwork of many of the professional
studies. Naval Architecture, which
teaches the cadets how to design and
build ship, Navigation, which teaches
them how to guide this ship across the
them the methods of constructing and
using the great guns; Steam Engineer
ing, which teaches them the many APP
plications Of that geat motive power
all require a thorough knowledge of
mathematics.
While the theoretical part of the
education may prove irksome to those
who are filled with spirit of adventure,
who might have succeeded better in
the days of the old navy, where there
was wider scope for such temperaments,
these will find the practical instruc-
tions more to their liking. Here they
can satisfy their longing to hang by
their heels on royal-yard, or to put
pistol shot through wooden soldier at
twenty PAGES. These drills are based
on the general principle that before a
cadet can become an officer he must be
thoroughly familiar with all the duties
of those who will be under his COM
mand. The only way to attain this
familiarity is by actually performing
these duties in every detail.
The drills afloat, in which there is
a large fleet engaged, are particularly
novel and interesting, Every Saturday
the cadets embark on the Wyoming"
a ship-rigged steamer, and make cruise
in the bay. They do all the work.
Down in the fire-room some of them are
heaving coal into the roaring furnaces,
others are in the engine-room looking
out for all the machinery. On deck,
youthful sailors are running up and
down the rigging. ready, at the call of
the boatswain's pipe, to handle the light
Apars or heavy sails. -John H. Gibbons,
u s. N. i'm 81 Nicholas.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
A Snake Fighting a Seal.

II was padding along in a small canoe
! On one of the numerous tributaries of
| the Rio Parana," writes correspondent
from Buenos Ayres, looking for ducks
or anything worth shooting, when sud
denly heard behind me fearful yell
and great splashing in the water. A
bend in the river prevented ME seeing
what it was, but, thinking it was some
tapirs or carpinchos bathing, 1 turned
my canoe in order to get shot at them
and saw huge snake hanging from a
tree with his body curled two or three
times round an unfortunate SEAL
THE water around them was foaming,
and every now and then the seal and
the fore part of the snake would disap-
pear below the surface and remain
below for several seconds, until in a
moment the snake would twist his body
into sort of corkscrew shape and lift
the seal right out of the water, and they
would remain swinging in the air, only
supported by the snakes tail
AT one time saw the second seal
jump clean out of the water to catch
hold of the snake, and all three re-
NAMED in the air, the seals roaring and
yelling most fearfully for some time,
when suddenly they dropped into the
water again, the snake never losing his
hold of the tree.
AS none of the combatants seemed to
be in the least affected by my approach
l put my canoe within some ten or
twelve yards of them, so as to have a
good shot at the snake next time they
appeared, and had scarcely laid down
my paddle and caught up my gun when
they came up again.
Il aimed right at the snake where he
had curled himself round the seal and
gave him both barrels. The effect could
not have been greater.
THE snake let go of the tree and fell
with the whole length of his body into
the water, splashing me all over, and
then again the three disappeared. After
about a minute both seals came up on
the other side of the canoe, looking at
me and shaking their heads in the same
way as dogs do when they come out of
water.
~They had both white breasts, and I
noticed that one of them was bleeding
from a wound in the neck, but whether
from my shot or from bite of the snake,
/ could not tell.
THE snake little later crawled up
the bank out of the water, as if nothing
was the matter with him, so l gave him
one shot more, which made him dis
appear in the bushes, where 1, being
alone in the canoe, thought it more
prudent not to follow HIN. He was a
very big one, for from the branch to
which he had his tail attached down to
the water was a distance of some four
teen feet, and when he fell his tail
nearly reached my canoe. l do not
understand, though, how he would have
managed to eat one Of the seals, each
one of which was the size of an ordinary
mon
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
THE ALL KIND MOTHER.


10. whatever Is ct hand
is full meet 70. the demand:
Nature ofttimes eiveth best
When She seen;th ciaaTieHj-
She hath shapcn shower and sun
To the need of erery one
Summer bland AMI winter drcar.
DinnJied pool and frozen mere.
All thou lackes: she ha-h still,
Near thy finding and thy nil.
Yield her fullest faith. and she
VIII eadow thee royalty.
Loveiess weed and lily fair
She at:endeth, here and thero-
Kindly TO the weed rs to
The ioru lily tearel with dew.
Each 10 her hath use as dear
As the other Gn thou clear
Thy cloyed Sendes thou may ST eco
HAPPY all the mystery.
Thou shalt see the lilv get
Its divinegt blossom yet
Shall the weed tip bloom no less
With the sonc-bird's glecfulness.
Thou art poor. or thou art rich
Never iightest matter which:
Ali the glni gold OF the noon,
All the silver If the moon.
She doth lavish on thee. while
Thou witlhoiiest amy smile
Of thy gratitude to her.
Eascr used than usilrer.
Shame lIe ON thee an thou seek
Not her pardon. with no. cheek.
And bowed heud, and trimming eyes,
At her meTciful -ATise!7
-TAe CcatoDy.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
One on Mr.. Palmer.

Ex-Attorney General Palmer is fond
of joke and he isn't put out bit if the
joke is on him, Just so it is funny. He
dresses very neatly and is not given to
jewelry except in the matter of scarf
pins, and an adornment of this character
once led to a remark about him which
set all Wilkesbarre to laughing. He
had purchased very handsome pin in
the shape of bug, which was of rather
loud size and pretty conspicuous. 1t
looked like an exaggerated potato bug.
His friends guyed him considerably
about it, and that scarf-pin became the
talk of the town. One day prominent
German saloonkeeper passed Mr.. Palmer
as the latter stood at his office door,
looked out of the corner of his eye at
the scarf-pin and smiled. Instantly the
Attorney, in his quick, sharp way, said:
well, Dutchy, what's the matter
with you? What are you laughing
at?"
~Oh, holdings, Mr.. Balmer."
Yes, you were. You were laughing
at this scarf-pin. What's the matter
with it,"
Il guess it's all right. Mr.. Balmer."
well, look at it and see. Is there
anything the matter with it? Examine
it.
The German drew nigh, carefully
scanned the pin, looked over it gravely,
and was about to turn away, when Mr..
Palmer said:
well, what's the matter with that
bug scarf-pin? What do you think?"
well, Mr. Balmer," said the German,
Il don'd know but vat I think I never
before saw so big bug on so schmal q
potato" and he walked of with a queer
grin on his face.
The remark struck Mr.. Palmer - be-
ing exceedingly funny, and he told it
t, some Of his friends.-Hdyrisburg
Telegraph.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

We offer Ono Hundred Dollars Reward for
any ase of Catsrrh that cannon be c1rei By
taking Halls Ca.aIfh Cure.
+. J. CHENEY & CO., Props-. To!e1o. q.
We. tho uuderriRnei, hsre known +. ).
Cheney for The last Is years. and believe him
perfectly tonorahle in all business transac-
tons and financially able to carry OFT any
Obligation made BY their ii m.
WEST q TsUAx, Wholesale Druggists, Tols-
do, Ohio.
wALDIxo, KmsAx & NAKyIs, Wholes us
Druggists, Toledo. q.
e. II. VAN H3sKN, Cashier Toledo Nat on i
Bank. Toledo, q.
Halls Catarrh Cure IL taken Internally,
acting directly upon the blood and muccs
surfaces Of Tie sysesm. PTiss 75e per bottle.
80 - I'll DTu9gists.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
A Babe In tho House

is the source of much sunshine and Joy,
Frightening many a dark cloud. and light
ening many a heavy load-tut joys contin-
ual abide only in healthy body. The Gre
ator with great wisdom. las distributed
over the earth vegetable remedies for every
i'll of human kind. This marvellous Labor
atory reveals its secrets 10 man oaly By long
and searching labor. Few men have at
tanned greater success than DR.. r. V. Pierce:
nor devised for sufi ering humanity a great
Or production thsn his Golden Medical
Discovery" the unfai!i remedy 70. con-
sumption IN Its earlier stages, as well as for
chronic nasal catarrh, scrofuls, tumors an !;
all blood disorders.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

sophomoak. Before reaching Hanover
there came one of those drenching rains
which, like the Scottish mists, wet
man to the skin. The suit held its own
flor has not indigo blue been warranted
fast since the first indigo was heard
OFF, but it had parted with enough SO
that Daniel, too, was dyed blue from
head to foot. Daniel Webster had
liberal stratum of sentiment in his
makeup, and for some reason this color
Of his young manhood became his fav-
orite wear through life. He wore blue
coats to his dying day. If any one ever
saw him in different one the fact has
not been mt on record Hide 3,r1be
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

"Psrched upon bust of Palla.," or bstter
yet, on some handy shelf, The scr sble
housekeeper has her bottle of Dr.. Bulls
Cough Syrup, and when the child has dis
PRESSING cough or touch of Group she cures
the little one in NO time.
"What de precher talk bout to-day, brud-
der Julius?" "Oh' he tslled bout Samson
beat dem Philistines. en- you know, mos
cry TO tink dem poor creeters couldn't get
no Salvation OIL
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

''Miss Maud" he said 81 have come in
this evening to ask you question, and l
have brought ring with me. Now before
you try it on want to tell you if you feel
Inclined to be sister 10 me l will have to
take it back. az my father objects to my
sisters wearing such large diamonds" And
NJ and said she would keep the ring.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
darlington Route Fas, train "Flr'

leaves Kansas City daily at $40 p. M, are
irving in Chicago in time for all morning
connections. Solid vestibule train " IN
dining car out of Kansas City and serving
bre skfast going into Chicago, inducements
offered by no other line. The new eq0ip-
ment and superior track will enable this
Company to make the time regularly. which
will be special feature of the burlington
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

They we're talking about diving. Jones:
''Ive known a man TO dive down and come
up seventy five yard from where he went in
to the water" Brown: That's nothing. A
New York cashier. having robbed the safe
Of his employer, in fit of remorse plunged
into New York harbor, and two months
afterward turned up in Europe. How was
that for diye?'
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

SCOTS Emulsion of Cod Liver Gil with
dyI ophosI hi;es. ia a most marvellous food
and medicine. 1t heals the irritation of the
throat and lnngs, and gives feh AID
:trength quicker than sny other remedy
known. Il is very D ,latabie having none of
he disagreeable ia tie of the crude oil.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
II Don't Want Relief. but Cure. /"

Il Don W MT fseIfef, out Cute'
IL the exclamation of thousands suffering
from catarrh. To sll such We would Say:
Catarrh can be cured by Dr.. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy. 1t has been done in thousands of
cases: why not in yours? Your danger is in
delay. Enclose a stan p to Worlds Dispen-
sary Medical Association, Buffalo, n. Y,
for pamphlet on this disease
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

Myrtle: "He's awfulIy attentive to her.
you know" Lily: "How far has it gomez
Myrtle: Every far. I'm afraid. He held
her prayer-b0ok upside down at church yes
terday. and I'm sure I heard him say "a
woman instead of amen"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

Tested by Time. For Bronchial affec-
tions, Coughs, ETC., Browns BRONCHIAL
TROcr II have prored their efficacy by test
Of many years. Price 25 cents
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

The Burlington Route was the FIRST to
ever establish fast tram between Kan
sas City and ChicsRo. Special feature ION
Time" People will appreciate this.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

When Baby was sick, We gave her CastoriA.
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castorie,
When shs had Childrxn q, she gave them Castori3
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

The harder base ball club works the
more it plays.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

COuBunIptIOu oufc1y
To tho Editor:-Please inform your read
ers that have a positive remedy for Con-
sumption. By its timely use thousands OF
hopeless cases have been permanently
cured. shall be glad to send two bottles
of nv remedy FREE to any of your readers
who have consumption if they will send me
their Express and p. q. Address. Respect.
fully, +. A. SLOCUM, NJ. G. 1sl, Pearl
St. Ny.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

Chronic nasal catarrh positively cured by
DR.. Sage's Remedy.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
Food for Conservatives

No matter how much man hates credi.
Tor, he generally asks him to "call again"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

.'What would our wives say il they knew
where We are:"said the captain of a schooner
when they we're beating about 10 a thick fog.
fearful of going ashore. "Humph. l
shouldn't mind that" replied the mate, "if
We only knew where we were ourselves"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

The young lady who gives herself away
loses her self poe session.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

A big rubber firm has failed. They stretch
ID their credit too far.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

The govt is a lame excuse for profsu-
Traveller.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
Consumption Surely Cured.

Man wants but little here bill-owe but
wants that little paid.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

II afflicted with fore eyes, use DR.. Isaac
Eye Water. Druggists sell it. 25c
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
HOW,S THIS (.

The wasp has one strong point. but it is
not in his favor.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

SCHOOL SUPPLIES. of all kinds, from A.
b. Andrews 4 Co., Chicago. The Toledo
School Desk with Relief Chairs. Send for
terms. Agents wanted to canvass in every
county. Address J. s. SHE, Agent, Topeka,
HANS.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21
ORATORS {: e: 6 5;E 6; a.: e:

Boston magistrate to prisones. "Y0u ad-
NIT that you hit your husOsnd With stove
lid, and yet you claim there are extenuating
circumstances governing this case?" Prison
er: Eyes. sab; der was an extenuatin' sar
cumstance. De stove- lid warnt hot"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-03-21

]. 8. NAPIER, Vernon, Texas,
,vho n prepared to show to purchasers); or 70
q. e ol0o9 Land Ag't. Houston. Ter
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1889-10-18

JusrroE IN MAssAcnu,Errs AND
MIssiaeiPPI.-In the pl., form adopt I.
ed nv the republicans Of Msseaohu
setts recently The following occurs :
we believe slso tbst oar fellow citi.
seos OF all colors end races can dwell
together IN hue republican harmony
End honor Il the same policy Of equai-
ny, Justice and un,verssl education
under which they have dwelt toseth.
OF In N Massachusetts, be extended "a
The entire country On the came
day the republicans Of Mississippi
met, and the results Of their conveu-
zion will have to De studied With Q
snaenifyirg. glass by ono Who wishes
20 discover the republican justice and
equality In which their Aassscbusetts
hretlreu believe. Ia The convention,
which was doubtless representative Of
the republicans of Mississippi. we're
sixty white men and oae hundred and
ninety.four colored men. but Of the
four officials nominated only one, the
candidate for Secretary OF S:at~. is Q
coloved man. Justice aud equality
should naturally have Produced the
reverse result In the partition Of tho
spoiis.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1889-10-18
HambletOn's
Bee Hive Store.
Tew Store .Nev Goods
Dress Goods.

Extraordinary inducements this department Every
Goods Department We constantly enlarping
BY adding the very choicest goods secure.
q I'd
VaRd
Something than ex in all the latest
q ward
This IL special lot ysrd Tbsv are
quality and and superior finish
so-lncn hen'Ie.e yard
oneng ibis confident that
bss Dev been heard OF before This lot embraces
Onk warp behieta 500
Call and examine quality. proud Of this Offering AZ
worth t12S yard
This s rare B1rgain Sold everywhere yard.
so-tncn Oasnmere belge yard
You will ind this the quality you pew Sc for
ward
Ibi. lot is cheap At 4Sc; have only pieces sfL
yard
We have the following shades
Cream. Compare the qus:ty bousss Al CSC -
JOB-25 pieces Fine Sstsens i2lo Regular I5o
HdptbLetop'S Bee Hue Store
In the First EatioBal Bank Buiidin0
OoApEhbAhD, MARYLAND
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1889-10-18

PRosPERITY OF RAILROADS IN
WEST vIRGfNIA.-A dispatch from
Wheeling. this State. says: This has
been great year for West Virginia
railroads. every line within the lin
its Of the State being rushed TO its
full capacity, with business steadily
increasing. The Baltimore and Ohio
has often, within the past few months
been put to the greatest extremity
Tor cars. and its tonnage, especially
on the Wheeling end Of the road, ID
ahead OF the best record of previous
years. The same thing Is trus Of
The Ohio River Road, President Geo.
w. Thomson saying his freight and
passenger business 10 much larger
than ever before. The Chesapeake
and Ohio Road. after repeatedly CIV
ing orders for new oars end locomo
tives, has been forced to place an.
other order for two hundred box cars
with the Litchneld Car Works OF
Illinois. md the Shenandoah Valley
Road has within a week put 200 men
at work strengthening bridges and
trestlea, preparatory TO putting on
heavier engines. capable or hauling
the additional cars necessary to han.
die the business being offered. All
the shorter lines. feeders of tbe big
roads above men ioued, are particips.
ting in the boom, and In the case Of
the West Virginia Central, the in
crease in tonsge is little short Of
phenomenal.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1889-10-18
Ger NAmoxs Ax.wrasD.-0s

Ger NAnoHs AxswEaeD.-0ss.
0sbss"a having stated In Q publ,c
slsescb tbss "if NckiSscv OF any one
s,ss s-id he hid ever u-sd or sugess.
ts.s the uas Of iissus ballots they told
. Dslsc:oas islseh0sHi." ~. b. W.
l. klas ton. OF fasmviiIe. sho va
pseesdsnt ~ tho Dem0crstie Club a.
Csmls~slsnd Court HOUSE vheu Gen.
1abons was cbsismas VI the dsmos
Crasse e'mmisses Of that district, pub.
lishes card in which 10 states that
he hes non on exhibitions In Farm
visls IN ofilcial letter no received from
Mr.. Campbell. d cretsry Of that com.
mit'ee, written. - stated therein. By
order OF the chairman. direc,ing him
20 uss Tissue ballots e the election.
snd that accompanying the letter ~as
. package ri tiesue ballots. which, BY
the Generals director. wers used, one
man casting - many - six. and
some Of which Mr. Biautoo has also
on exhibition with The letter referred
to- Atcraadria w Gozsste.