Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-06-21
Mr.. AND MRS. B0WSER.

l had a caller the other afternoon
when Mr.. Bowser came home, and
after she had gone he asked;
Chow long was Mrs. Blank hereF
About half an hour"
"And you talked about fashions,
| suppose ~
"What should We talk about"
"Mrs. Bowser, did il ever occur
to you that there was anything III
life beyond millinery aud dress
goods and dressmakers y
"HOw Z"
"HOw! Why, select some sub
iect of sense-art, science, miner
alogy, the labor question or self
goyernment-and discuss 1t with
calmness and justice, and learn
something worth remembering for
half an hour. You women folks
might as we'll have been born with
a pumpkin on your shoulders in
place of a head"
made no reply to this, but de-
termined to catch Mr.. BOwser III
his own trap before the week was
out. Fortune favored me. 1t was
only two days before u neighbor
called over as he was at work in
the back yard, and for two long
hours those men sat down on a
ladder and discussed the question
whether a back gate should open
inward or outward, aud the ad.
vsntages offered by either situation.
Mr.. Bowser contended for the gate
opening outward ana the neigh
Dor for the opposite, and the dis
cussion resulted in Mr.. BOwser
getting red clear back of the ears
and jumping up to exclsim:
"Well, lets drop the subject
right here. There can be cranks
on alley gates as well as on politics
and religion"
Gan d there can be lunatics out
side Of the asylums," hotly replied
the neighbor.
"Don't call me a lunatic "
"And don't you call me a crank"
"Go home and hang your old
gate to the moon ~
"Pl hang it according to the
rules of common sense, and don't
you tit"
When Mr.. BOwser came in to
wash his hands | observed:
"Mr. Bowser, did 1t ever occur TO
you that there was anything in
life beyond hanging a back gateP
He replied with a"humph :" of
disgust.
"Select some subject of sense,
Mr.. BOwser-art, science, miner
alogy, the labor question or self
government-and discuss it with
calmress and judgment and learn
something worth remembering for
half an hour "
he looked around in a desperate
helpless way, and put on his hat
and went of without word in re-
ply. l wasn't going to let him of
OH that. hoWever. When he came
home that evening had Mrs.
Orfendorf over to supper, and as
soon as we we're seated at the ia
BILE l queried:
doesn't it strike you that Ger
many's policy on the Samoan ques-
ton is one of Cancellation instead
of aggression 7"
at certainly does," she replied,
"but there may be a hidden motive
behind this seeming submission.
Trace the record of the man back
as far as you will, and his policy
has been either aggression or
strategy"
Mr. BOwser looked from one to
the other of us in astonish ment.
81 notice." said | as passed the
biscuits, "that the Spanish colonial
policy is working toward a radical
change. melted by the example Of
other and stronger nations it Is
about to extend its arms and en-.
fold new possessions
The stare that MIR. Bowser favor.
ed me with made my flesh creep.
81 do hope you can come down
to the next meeting Of the WO.
mans scientific, political and liter.
airy club" said Mrs. Orfendorf, as
she toyed with her strawberries.
"Those gatherings are very, very
interesting. At our last meeting
we discussed the Drift PERIOD and
at the one next week we shall dis.
cuss Two proposed amendments TO
the Constitution of the United
States.'"
"Oh, I'd like to go ever 30 much,
and think can promise you III
be there. Can Mr.. BOwser come,
too 7"
"Well, hardly. Men take such
little interest in such things that
they are distractions"
And Mr.. Bowser sat there, turn.
ing red and pale by turns, until his
chair grew so hot that he had to
pretend a headache and get ex.
cused. anticipated all awful
tragedy after my visitor took her
departure, but Mr.. Bowser con.
tented himself by saying:
"Now that that shallow.pated,
loDg.nosed old nuisance has finally
taken her leave, let's 60 to bed"