The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1889-06-20
PITH AND POINT.

Tea to one-12:j0 o'clock.
A dark sccret-A kiss in a tunnel.
Single stickcrs -One-ccnt stamps.
Quite swell alTair-A society bellies
mumpe.
Bookkeeping taught in one lesson. Do
not lend them.
The sun is grand but the moon takes
the shine froul it when she comes out,
Life is full Of compensation. The
tongue OF the deaf aud dumb man never
gets him into trouble.
You cannot depend upon the man who
makes bogus money. lie gives you false
imprcSsons.-New York Ncrs.
MARY" asked Charles, "what animal
dropped from the cloudsl' "Thc rain,
dear, was the whispered reply.
Last winters coat. with the lining
torn out, is fashionable for office wear.
1t should bc decorated with red ink and
mucilage.
Everything has its use in this world.
Even the fly that persistently refuses to
he caught teaches the baldheadcd man
patience. SomerrHic JourHdi.
"NIany are the curious thing in life"
says Bob; ''you wind up clock to make
it 90, and you wind up a business to
make it stop. - chicago Globe
"Wood YOU said the coal dealer cutcly.
~ wouldn't, ~ She answered quite grim,
And then, as he fired up slightly,
She gave the coal shoulder 10 him.
Washington critic.
Russian Fashion Note.-The Car has
returned to st. Petersburg and changed
his winter suit of boiler iron for light
spring suit of east STEEL Washington
Post.
Tubbs-"I fiattcr myself that honesty
is printed on my face" Grubbs--"WeH
~-er--yes, perhaps-with some allow
nnce for typographical errors. '-Burling-
ton Free Press.
Rogers-"Aren't you afraid you will
get fired if you come down to the Office
SO late in the morning. Rogcrs-"NG,
I'm iireproof; own stock in the con
Germ. .'-Mereury.
The nuisance of the hotel was in the
parlor warbling; "Oh, would | were
bird" "Wcll, here's beginning for
you" said the landlord. And he handed
him his bill.-Fort Plain Free Press.
Willlinsby's Wife--"Why do they call
the prima donna the diva, Georgel"
Wilkinsby--'I don't know, unless it's
because she isn't afraid to jump into the
high {. MHHSey'S We1kiy.
SUMMERS At HAND.
The mercury is mounting higher.
The seaside Boniface now smiles;
For when the atmospherc's like fire,
His shckcls he will heap in piles
-NelC York Journal.
A Lancashire gentleman, on being in-
troduced to II newly married man who
had found his wife in that country, con-
graduated him warmly, saying: 'These
Lancashire girls make excellent wives.
I've had four of 'em. ."-LOHdOn lid Bits.
Travcler--"Don't you see that my
hands are full, and | can't get at my
pockctbook. Solcitor-'.I didn't in
tend to discommode you, sir, when l
spoke to you. Is you will tell me where
you keep your money l can find it my
self. ."-LUe.
In the theatre at Weimar, In Germany,
not long ago there were only seven per-
sons in the house, The pit took offence
at the miserable acting of performer
and hissed him energetically; whereupon
the manager took his company on the
stage and out Missed the audience.
"Do you see the horizon yonder,
where the sky seems to meet the earth2"
''Yes, uncle" boy, have journeyed
so near there that couldn't put six.
pence between my head and the sky"
"Why, uncle, what crammerl" SITS
a fact, my lad! hadn't one to put"
A young man married lady whose
weight yerges closely on two hundred
pounds. During recent country walk
hey came TO fence, and it was necessary
70 climb over. "My dear" said the hus-
band, "shall l help you over the fence9"
Never mind me-" was the wise reply,
''just hold up the fence"