St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-01-02
THE "ARlzoNA KICKER"

WOulu nave DeCn udSD6u Oh Tie U0Or
where powder was strewn.
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THE "ARlZONA KICKER
Its Editor Announces Some of the
New Departures.
Detroit Free Press.
We take the following from the last
issue of the Arizona Kicker:
Come and See Us.-We beg to an
nounce to the public that we have es
tablished a. grocery in connection with
the Kicker Office. We have run a par
tition across our shanty and stocked
the front end with groceries, and here
after the two will be one and INSOFAR
able.
"While we blandly acknowledge that
this is not literary move calculated to
raised the public hair on end, we call
your attention to the fact that we shall
sell six dozen clothespinS for fifteen
cents, and seven bars of soap for a
quarter. A customer who wants New
Orleans molasses at wholesale or retail
will find us behind the counter smiling
and affable. The citizen who wants to
subscribe for the Kicker will find US in
the back room willing to pocket his
$2.'
''For Sale-The editor of this paper
has $500 worth of shares in the Spotted
Bull Silver Mining company which we
will sell cheap for cash or trade for an
all-wool undershirt. These shares were
presented us with the understanding
that we should help rope in Eastern
suckers. Either the rope is out of
order or suckers are scarce.
The stock has gone down to two
cents Oh the dollar, and we pro-
pose to unload before another assess
ment is made. We said an all-wool UNI
dershirt. but we are not particular about
it. If it's half cotton, minus the but
tons OF flaps. or is ripped up the back,
we shall probably make the exchange.
Don't hesitate because you may have
been told that we are proud and
naughty. We know when we come
down from the top rail-"
IA Convicted Liar.-The web-fOOted,
knock-kneed hyena who edits the liter
airy cattle drive across the street charges
us with trying to lord it over this com
munity because we have occasionally
appeared in white shirt and fifty-cent
suspenders. Those who know us best
know how humble and lowly we feel,
even when having the only paper collar
in the crowd which has not been turned
and sand-papered.
1--WE shall occasionally put on a
white shirt-not to humiliate our fell
low-citizens or boost ourselves above
the herd, but in order to connect us
temporarily with outside civilization.
Now and then we shall replace the
10 OF, OF
the Suspenders spoken of, but it will
not be in any spirit of self-aggrandizc-
ment, such as might justly call for mob
violence and the destruction of our
Office. AS for the old grave-rObber OPP
posite, we have already located him for
an Ohio sheriff, who is expected along
daily to take him away"
"Do Not Ferget-We trust that none
of our friends will forget the fact that
we still continue to board ourselves and
cook our meals on the Office stove. Con-
tributiOns of vegetables. game, bread,
eggs, and whatever is eatable, are al
ways thankfully received and followed
by free puff for the contributors"
"Apologetical.-In the haste of get
ting to press last week we did worthy
ClUlZen nJuSClce III the ltelll dDOut tHo
shooting atfray on Jackass Hill. We
stated that Cinnamon Tom was the
man who killed old Rutger. and that it
would be great moral lesson to him to
draw him up to limb and fire about
fifty bullets intOhis carcass.
1--WE now take pleasurein announcing
that c. Tom was not the guilty party.
He did not even draw OH the old man.
At the time the latter threw up his
hands and eXclaimed: Boys! Pm
downed. See that my grave is kept
greenn Tom was further down the
hill chewing away at Col. Sock
cts left ear, and having all he could do
to hold it. The censurable party
is Wildcat Joe, who left town
that same evening for purer atmos-
phere, while Cinnamon Thomas is as in
nocent as young gopher. We found
him behind the bar of the Red Front
saloon yesterday, genial as ever to all
corners, but injured in his finer feelings
by our hasty conclusion. We make this
apology ofour own free will, and hope
it will reinstate him in the esteem of
our citizens"