The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-18
BRIGHT BITS.

Miss ssAPPER-stop the carl won't ride if
! can't have seatI
The Conductor with an air Of gentle reproach)
i have TO stand up all day, ma'aml
1es, but you don't have to pay five cents a
trip for itH'-BoStoH Times.
IRATE PoILTIcIAH-Iook here, you published
he about me this morning-an infamous lie. l
won't stand it.
Serene Editor-But Just think where you
would be If We were TO publish the truth about
you--1erre HGute Express.
MADE A DEEP UNCONVENTIONAL think
this Is the first time ever shaved you, sir.
Nlctim-Y ou're mistaken there.
Baroer-Strange fail to remember it, sir.
Nlctlm-Eou wouldn't be so likely to remem-
Der 1t as L-BOston Herald.
MISS TwELFrHsEAsoN speaking Of her fance)
And dear George is such lover of antiquities.
MISS hetne-Any one could see that
And Miss Feline viii not receive an invitation
10 the weddlng.-AeO York Sun.
LIES" the New York periodical started a
snort time ago. has succumbed TO the force of
adverse circumstances, prociaimng with its
last breath that it bad "a guaranteed circula-
ton of SO 900 copies. A striking illustration of
the ruling passion strong in death. Chicago
Netcs. .I
-, CLOTHING sALEsNAS-Well, how do you like
this pattern?
Customer Can't you give me something a
little quieter? You see. frequently come home
after midnight and it is a matter of some i'm
ttagt0n Free Press.
Young MIxIsrER-To what do you ascribe
your remarkable success as minister, Brother
Wilgus?
The Rev. Mt. Wigus-Chiefy to this: 1
preach terrific public sermons against my CON
gregatlon en- masse, but privately humor them
us INDIVIDUALS. ---Ie're Hdute Express.
JOHN WARNER a callow youth of q country
town IN Delaware, wrote a novel, paid a pub
Usher $1,000 to put it on the market. and
because only five copies were sold in a year the
author went out 10 the drear old woods and
hanged himself. Had he done this at first it
would have been money in his poc&et-Detrott
Free Press.
An HABITUAL PATHFINDER, being at a ball
says to the director-"This is an outrage, sir
You deceive the public"
How sog"
You advertise fifteen musicians"
Wells"
We'll, I've counted them, and there are sew
ehteeh from the French, in TEXAS Stftings.
SOPHISTICATED GENTLEMAN chooses a pair of
spectacles. These glasses he says, ARE not
strong enough for me. -
But, sir, they are No. O."
What have you next to No. 2T'
"And after that?"
After No :, sir, you will want dogp-La
PoitGtre.
THE BEARD OF Henry S. Cook, tailor of Nor
wien, Conn, is as long as he is. Mr. Cook is a
small man, " years old. His beard is Jet black
and fine and silky. and so is his hair When he
is erect and his beard unfurled, he can step on
six inches of it. He wears it ordinarily cooled
in wad inside his vest. Barnum wanted Mr..
Cook to travel with his circus; but Cook is pros
porous, and does not care to be freak
KIRBY SToNE-I don't see you at the cafe
where you used to take lunch with the boys.
Younglove.
Younglove-No, I'm eating very light lunches
now. l sit on high stool and chew a sand
wich.
Kirby Stone Economizing, Ell?
Younglove-Yes. l am saving up enough to
pay for the present my wife is going to give
Inc next Christmas america.