davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
CnintentiOnal Ofense.

Want of thought, not want of heart +,
occasions many of the evils of this life,
1t is doubtless because it is a little
troublesome to word a phrase differ
emily from the form in which it crudely
presents itself to the mind that so
many persons acquire the unfortunate
habit of unwittingly offending their
friends. A little careful study of the
mode in which a disagreeable remark
can be made positively palatable will
be found most useful accomplish
ment. Such study, so far from
checking, as might be supposed, that
spontaneous expression of feeling
which some value so highly will be
found, on the contrary, after a little,
to have increased the tone and supple
ness of those who practice the art, and
to have become as facile habit as the
expression of the more outspoken, I'M
vanished truth. 1t is the wit and
polish of the man or woman of the
world which enables so many malicious
little remarks to be uttered in a tone
of such exquisite breeding as to render
it impossible for offense to be taken.
Then why not expend as much
thought upon the smoothing over of
disagreeable truths which should be
spoken for the benefit of all those CON
cerned?
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
Divorces in Different Countries.

In Thibet divorces are scarcely al
lowed, unless with the consent of both
parties; remarriage is forbidden.
In Austria divorces have never been
sanctioned.
Divorces are scarcely ever known to
occur in modern Greece.
In Hindoostan either party for
slight cause may leave the other and
marry.
In the olden times the Jews had q
discretionary power of divorcing their
wives.
In Cochin China the parties desiring
divorce break pair of chopsticks in
the presence of witnesses, and the
thing is done.
Among some tribes IF American In
dams the pieces of sticks given the
witnesses of the marriage are broken
as sign of divorce.
If the wife of Turcoman asks his
permission to go out, and he says go"
without adding come back again"
they are divorced.
Two kinds of divorce are granted in
Gircassia. BY the first the parties can
Immediately marry again; by the sec
ond not for year.
In Liberia if man is dissatisfied
with the most trihing acts of his wife,
he tears q cap or veil from her face
and that constitutes divorce.
In Siam the first wife may be di-
vorced, but not sold, as the others may
be. She may claim the first child
The others belong to the husband.
Among the Moors, if the wife does
not become the mother of boy, she
may be divorced with the consent of
the tribe and can marry again.
In the Arctic regions man who
wants divorce leaves home in anger
and does not return for several days.
The wife takes the hint and departs.
In China divorces are allowed in all
cases of criminality, mutual dislike,
jealousy, incompatibility of tempera-
ment, or too much loquacity on the
part of the wife.
Among the Tartars, if the wife is
ill-treated, she complains to the magis-
trate, who, attended by the principal
people, accompanies her to the house,
and pronounces divorce.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
Hale and Hearty In Old Arc.

What is more beautiful than an ancient tree
clothed with an ample robe OF verdure? Apt is
the comparison between such growth and al
old man or woman infused with health and
vigor The si,H qua NON. the indispensable con-
dition o. vigorous youth, robust manhood and a
yirile old age, is sound digestion. Without this
life is shorn Of tho hearty zest that should at
tend it. No more beneicent and agreeable con-
tributor TO the attainment OF n hale old age, aud
efficient means OF counteracting the inhrmities
that too often attend LIES decline, can be found
than Hostetters Stomach Bitters. Dyspeptic
symptoms, a tendency TO kidney complaint,
nervous inquietude and rheumatic trouble are
overcome by its The effects OF exposure and
over-work are nullned by it and IL affords eff
Gent protection to all subjected to malarial in
huences. Give il q thorough trial
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
The Grnyestone,s Inscription.

"How romantic" quoth a sentimental
lady from Boston, as turn in one of
the loveliest country roads in Kennebec
County brought to her view a charm
ing scenic vista with a sort of impromptu
cemetery in the background. There
may lie together the children of some
griefstricken father, cut off perhaps
all at once by furious epidemic. His
warm heart could not intrust his dear
ones to the cold earth of a common
graveyard, where the percolating
waters might mingle their clay with
that of those less pure than they. How
touching to bury them alone by the
roadside where even the most wicked
passer-by may profit by their pure ex-
ample. Let me alight and read the
pathetic inscription W hieh records their
fate" And brushing away her tears
she read through her gold-bowed eye
glasses the following touching legend !:
These stones sre samples made by the
Get There Granite Company, who are
prepared to fill all orders with neatness
and dispatch. A few misfit gravestones
az bargain. augusta Journal.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
The Dakota Truth Teller.

If George Washington had been born
in Dakota he would never have gone
into history as The-man-who-co couldn't
tell-a-lie. The subjoined describes a
Dakota man who tried to tell the truth
"Yes, I'm from Dakota" he said,
meekly, as he got into conversation
with man on an Eastern train.
"Ah, is that so? I'm thinking of GO
ing out there myself to invest in some
farming land"
I'VE have some very fine land.
$50 understand-but are not some
of the stories they tell of its fertility
exaggerated? ?"
"Why, my friend, I am sorry to say
some of them are downright untruths. I"
"That's what / thought. Now, what
is the most remarkable instance of the
fertility of Dakota soil which ever came
<under your observation 2"
well, / believe the ease of my pump
might 90 at the head of the list"
what was it z"
Il dug n well about forty feet deep
4 the first season / was there and put
down a wooden pump. 1t happened
that IL was made of a small cotton log
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

which was little green, and the soil
at the bottom of the well, forty feet
firm the surface, was so fertile that
the pump took root, and it also grew
and branched out, and now, while my
children play in a swing attached to
one of the branches. pump water
through the hole which still remains
In the trunk"
"Do you tell that for the TRUTH"
why, certainly, sir, L never tell
anything but the truth"
Are you engaged in farming, or the
real estate business ?"
why, am engaged in neither, my
friend, neither. L am preacher. L
went out there "a missionary seven
years ago, and though my work was
humble, / trust it had beneficial in
fuence on our people"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

was in company the other day
with my friend, the professor of chem
istry, and being in reflective mood
/ Glanced to say: Professor, tears are
q curious thing"
by no MEANS" replied he, prompt
ly. "Their composition is quite sim
pie; about ninety-eight parts water
and two parts salt, albumen and mu-
Gus.
did not pursue the conversation,
but thought, without saying so, that if
tears are not a curious thing a profess
sor of chemistry certainly is.
L happened few days after to re-
peat the conversation too our professor
of physiology, who, bringing his super
ciliary muscles into play, said: "Sim-
pie as 1t may appear to DR.. Atom, the
genesis of tears is quite complex
process, and they have multiple me-
chanical functions. They are secreted
by the lachrymal gland and partly by
the orbicularis canal and thence into
the eye, which they food, and thus
effectuate detersion, facilitate the
movement of the eyeball, and preserve
the transparency of the so-called cor
nea."
could only respond: Il dare say
all You tell me is very wonderful and
very complex, but how on earth do the
little babies learn to cry so early and
so well?" j did not tell him that did
not comprehend a word he had utter
ed, and hence the wonder-omne igno-
tum pro magnifco. Much less did L
reveal what was passing in my mind.
Ii next occurred to me to find out
what the poets say about tears. They
travel from earth TO heaven very rapid
ly, in daring, desultory way, and al
ways through mists and clouds, seeing
things very indistinctly, and rarely
telling the truth about what they do
see.
Here is definition of tears that we
can accept without aversion-tears are
the bright, bodily form of feeling The
poet does not tell us that when we weep
we are doing nothing more than secret
ing a mucous fluid by means of the
lachrymal gland. He feels bound, how
ever, to state the fact that tears are not
more pure than dewdrops. The whole
truth would have been that they are
not as pure by good deal. Perhaps
Mr.. Bailey did not know that they con-
tanned mucus, albumen, and salt. We
wish we did not possess the uncomfort-
able information. We shall never
again be able to kiss the tears from her
cheek with the same relish we once
did. atlanta.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

"Ha, hal" said Bob, throwing down
his morning paper.
What struck you?" asked Frank.
~Oh, an item that 1 read"
what was il 2"
"That one," pointing to one which
chronicled how farmer in Kansas set
out three miles of peach trees in the
fence corners of his farmer, SO that the
hungry and thirsty travellers should
have something to eat as they drove
along.
well, there is nothing to smile at
in that" said Frank.
"No."
"Of course not. / think it betokens
n kind heart in the breast of the old
farmer"
a kind heart? Yes. But not n
sound head. 1t reminds me of SINH
lar case by an old Ohio crank when L
was a boy. He did the same thing.
only on smaller scale His farm had
road on the north and west side-al-
together about mile and half. The
trees set out were altern ately an APP
pie, peach, and cherry l tell you
he anticipated giving the traveller a
bonanza while going by his place"
"Yes?"
"But it didn't work"
why not?"
well, l was poor devil in those
days, and had to do anything to turn a
penny, honest or otherwise.
"Well?"
Il formed partnership with fruit
dealer in town, and picked nearly all
the fruit at night, and carried it in
and sold it in shares. Made about fifty
dollars on the transaction, and had the
fun into the bargain. oh, tell you
this philanthropic racket is big thing
sometimes-for somebody. Yes, the
travellers got left. y Wasp.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
Funny Mistakes.

The plumbers and misstatements of
travelling journalists have furnished
the small wits" of society with many
threadbare joke, writes David Ker in
Harper'S Weekly, and they have GER
tainly some cause to smile when a man
pronounees authorita.ively upon the
state of a country which he has just
entered for the first time, or begins
letter with Every intelligent native
with whom / have conversed," after
exchanging dozen words with two
half-caste storekeepers and native
groom. L shall not easily forget how
one of my brother correspondents in
the East eloquently prophesied time
when every market of western Europe
should be filed with "the preserved
fruit stored in the khans of Tartary,
and the rich fleeces sheared from the
great lama of Thibet," OF how another,
indistinctly overhearing some mention
of the British wounded being carried
away by a doolie ambulance litter,
began his next letter with n thrilling
account Of "the ferocious doolie swoop-
ing down upon the battlefield and
carrying off the helpless wounded"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
HumOr OF an Irish Land Agent.

The sense of humor never deserts an
Irishman, and constantly relieves his
darkest hours. 1t would not be easy
to discover life more full of anxiety
at the present time than that of the
Irish land agent, honestly DESTROYS of
holding the balance Justly. His life
is somewhat that of the Galilean pub
lican tempered with the dread of assas-
sination, yet few men are brighter COM
panions. Not a hundred miles from
Kenmare resides, perhaps, the best
known land agent In Ireland. Firm,
shrewd, intelligent, just and kindly,
withal the best pistol shot and bicycle
rider in County Kerry. 1t is told of
him that at critical moment, when
the tenants on a certain estate were
hesitating as to the adoption of the
plan of campaign, he desired them to
assemble for conference at his Office.
When they arrived he was riding his
bicycle round ring, and at the pace
of twenty miles an hour was, with I'M
erIipg aim, smashing bottles with his
revolver; he came in, wiped his brow,
laid his smoking revolver on the table,
remarking:
We'll, boys?"
Il think We had better pay, yer hon
or, was the reply.
Ioon certain occasion he met Kill
larney. an equally detested land agent
from Clare.
What, H." he playfully remarked,
mot shot yet?"
"No, r., bedad its safe enough 1
am was the retort: 1--WE towld the
boys that if I'm shot you'll be appoint
ed land agent in me place, and there's
not boy in Clare 'ua touch a hair of
mo head
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

THERE is in existence curious class
of Knives, of the sixteenth century, the
blades of which have on one side the
musical notes to the benediction of the
table, or grace before meat, and on the
other side the grace after meat. The
set of these knives usually consisted
of four. They were kept in an upright
case of stamped leather, and were
placed before the singer.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

MANY industries having been established
in the South. particularly at the rapidly
growing city OF Florence. Ala. the Chicago
and Eastern Illinois Evansville Route) has
decided 10 run five personally conducted
excursion trains as follows: August and
90 sept. 10 and "a. and Oct &. All the rail-
roads in the Northwest have agreed 10 sell
for those dates excursion tickets to points
I'm Tennessee. Aldbama. Mississippi and
Louisiana at one lowest first class fare for
the round trip. Tickets will be good re-
turning thirty days. Persons desiring to
join these excursions can obtain full par
ticulars by writing to J. T. Morrell. Travel
ing Agent G.. Il f.. /. r. r.. col First Ma
tional Bank Building, Chicago, or to Will
liam Hill. General Passenger Agent.
Chicago
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
That Settled IL.

THAT settles it," said prisoner
whom his Honor sentenced to the work
house for sixty days the other morning.
Settles WHAT" asked the officer to
whom the remark was addressed.
Il have been troubled in my mind
whether to go down to Long Branch or
up to Mackinac this summer. Now l
won't have to go to either. '-Detroit
Free Press
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

A VALUABLE fact is mentioned by
Prof. Denton as having occurred in his
Investigations showing the necessity of
good fabrication for slide valves. He
states that in a locomotive he had cut
down the supply of oil to the valves
from one pint in seventy-fve miles to
one pint in 100 miles-the result of this
change being that, as soon as the valves
got hot, two men could not hold the
reversing lever in place when the catch
was taken out of the notch
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

THIS IL the age OF wonders. and the aver
age American citizen is no longer surprised
at anything. III you want to experience
that sensation, however. just write 10 Il. +.
Johnson x Co.. 1919 Main ST.. Richmond.
Va, and hear what they have got to saw Of
the success OF some of their agents. They
have got the goods that sell, and any one
out OF employment will consult their own
interests by applying TO them.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
Labor.Saying Proposition.

well, Johnny, 1 shall forgive you
this time. and it's very pretty of you
to write letter to say you're sorry"
Yes, ma don't tear it up, please. !"
why, Johnny"
Because it will do for the next
time. Christian Nation.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
THERE is a man in our town
And he is very wise, sir.
Nkha,, An ~ Ia. 1pae,,ff f..aI ,,,af1

One remedy he tries, sir.
It just the thing To take in spring
The blood 10 purify,
He tells his friends, and nothing else
10 he induced TO try
because. having taken DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery TO cleanse his system.
tone il up, and enrich the blood. and finding
that it always produces the desired result
he considers that il would be foolish TO ex-
pertinent with anything else. His motto ia
Prove all things and hold fast to that which
is good" That's why he pins his faith 70
the Golden Medical Discovery
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

IT is not generally known that the
custom of keeping birthdays is many
thousand years old. 1t is recorded in
the fortieth chapter of Genesis, TWEEN
tieth verse: And it came to pass on
the third day, which was Pharaoh's
birthday, that he made feast unto all
his servants"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
4 Dubious Recommendation.

Husband-rhat new girl looks as if
she had violent temper. In fact, /
should take her for a regular fury.
Wife, didn't like her looks. but
she handed me this recommendation
from some one she had worked for. 10
says she is very honest and easy to
get along with"
Husband Examining the note)-
Humphl This note is signed by John
l.. Sullivan. --New York Ueeklg.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

CLEMENTINE-If / had known You
married me only for my money would
never have accepted YOU. Montague
And if I'd known you were going to
be so close with it / would never have
proposed
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

DURING the last ten years an oculist
of Cronstadt is said TO have treated
thirty cases Of photo-electric ophthal-
mia, n new disease due to the action of
the electric light on the eyes.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14
A NEW INVENTION
~ PAlMeR'S MAGNETIC ikHkteR "a
k5SX ~ Patented June ~, 1888 URH5&f3
Price, Ono Dollar. f$38W)
Magnetism and Menthol as g.
Remedial and Curative
Agent.

From time 20 time many inventions and devices.
have been placed upon the market claiming % cure
catarrh, neuralgia bronchitis, etc. many Of which
are said TO contain electric or magnetic curative
powers.
Dr. Palmer is a gentlem an who has devoted life
of study the subject of catarh and diseases OF the
commenced a series OF experiments with = view to
Determining whether any combination could be-
healing power At the same time, aud At length sue
ceeded in determining atmenthol. when combined.
with magnetism. would do so, but how TO arrange
these seemingly opposite agents 80 a. 10 render
their convenient and efectual was a question OF
some difficulty At length he succeeded in combining
within Vucanite tube three inches long and about
netic battery In the form Of coil OF steel wire. In
the interior of this battery is stored fine grade OF
imported menthol; The ends of the tube are closed
by nickel caps. which when removed, admit of the
free inh alation Of the electro air The
menthol acts az a germ acide, while the magnetic
the diseased parts into healthy action forms a won
derin healing power thereby successfully stopping
any further depredations
ing and for the imned ate relief and speedy Of
catarrh. cold In the head. hay fever, headache,
ralgis. catarrhal deafness, etc. IL is unequaled.
IL cures headache in i've minues. Sore throat 10
one Of the diseases Immediately affected by the In
haler. Commencing colds can be broken mp In "a
hours by few inspirations from this little benefac-
and refreshing sleep at night ~ has no equal. The
inspiration Is pie asant and effect wonderful.
before. lis price is moderate. Its working is mar
yelous aud no family afford 70 be without one OF
these Inventions.
Beware OF imitation. as there are interruptions
persoi tgsged IN the manufacture of a spurious
inhs err thar strongly resembles the genuine.
Full directions. tee timonas, etc, sent with each
II YOU are afflicted with Cs.arrh. send 81 90 ana
get Magnetic Inhaler. which IL certain TO afford
a: GAvIsI<. Western Agent. aTi Fr,uiSiin St,
Chicago, IN.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

You don't have to take or pord for the
good quality Of Dobbins' Electric Soap.
Ju-t get one bar OF your grocer. and Let it
tell you its o,cn story next Monday. and be
governed 10y that. good or bad.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

SwELL-Its no wonder that the new
President of Sorosis is at the top of
the ladder. Belle-Why? Swell
Because she's Clymer.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

How HAPPY our neighbors might be
II they would only do as we think they
ought 30 do
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

WHEN everything appears unusually
fresh we say the season is Toward, and
when person is unusually forward we
say he is too fresh.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

WALKING advertisements for DR.. Sage's
Catarrh Remedy are the thousands 1t has
curel
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-08-14

ANOTHER American product in for
eign market-Hav sent to Russia.
The Chickasaw messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1880-1900, 1889-04-18
Barrow has more than go
Vehicles on hand and atprices
that sell as low as possible.

John Watkins, the new furniture
man, wants the public 20 know that
he keeps cofins ofall grades on hand
and sells them az the most reasonable
prices. Don't forget his place Of bu-
siness Is No 3 Ward Block.
mar. 2lsi-tf
The Chickasaw messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1880-1900, 1889-04-18
also just receiv-
or loadoi Surveys, Tug
gies and Carts.

RenqTllnr II you wasit a real fine
hat, to1d NJ. Meckleuburgcr's. Mrs
Garmod has charge Of the Millinery
department there.
The Chickasaw messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1880-1900, 1889-04-18

rrouhle Cor thc boomers.
The headquarters Of Judge Lynch
for the next year or two are likely %
be- anywhere Ia Oklahoma. The har-
dy pioneers who viii push over the
border into the promised land on the
END April viii be accompanied by
an infinite variety q sharks, cut-
threats. gamblers, thieves, the scum of
the earth. But ifthey escape from in
jury Al the hands ofthese gentry, they
will find themselves pitied against
each other Ia endless quarrels. Aswe
have already stated there are about
10000 quarter sections Of land in Ok
lahoma, and about 10000 people have
made an their arrangements for inva-
ding it the moment the Presidents
proclamation takes effect. The situa-
tion, as pictured IN q dispatch from
Kansas, is full ofdreadful possibilities.
aFor every well-watered quarter sec
ton writes the correspondent, 'there
win be dozen claimants, and they
win an initiate their claims 80 nearly
simultaneously that, as the only wit
nesses will be rival claimants, Il will
be simply impossible to determine who
located first, aud hundreds Of disputes
will have TO be settled by primitive
appeal 10 force. The homesteaders
who first make their settlement and
take their time about making their
filing will find themselves in contests
with other men whose entries were
/ filed earlier. The homesteaders who
go first to the land Office will find
when they get back to their coveted
100 acres that two or three other men
are in possession aud quarreling over
IT," What win be the result it is diff
"'ult TO see, unless the National Govern
'uly permits those who are crowded
% o settle in the Cherokee Outlet,
tch contains about 100000 acres
Pc Ter land than that now TO be
% It can be done by proclama.
C Indians aud the commission
agree upon price.
That fools these mortals be-
not be more aptly applied. In
v every case the boomers are
hg better lands than those they
md in the Indian Territory
"is not State in the South
o'snot furnish a better oppor.
those who are as much IN
those who are going to OK,
''-'o bc.-"Avalanche."
fIn
7ws with c. Orr, who
ure in the county.
he w.
- Failure.
union.l
parties marriei
j.,
Ction pays mOr'
'er half does fo
sf