The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1889-03-01
GOING OUI FOR WOOL;
And Coming Back Shorn of 5000
and a Diamond Pin.

Certain irreverent and vulgar per-
sons were accustomed TO style MIR.
Edward Carter and his friend DIR.
Charles Raymond "a pair of smart
Alecks." | say nothing against this
opinion, but would respectfully submit
the other side of the case. Mr.. Carter
considered DIR. Raymond's as the
brightest mind (with one exception.
of course) TO be found in the newly
risen generation; and DR.. Raymond
entertained a similar esteem for MIR.
Carter No one could possibly know
either better than they knew each
other; so that this opinion is certainly
entitled to some respect
These two choice spirits had devised
various means of amusing themselves
at the expense of their less gifted fell
low-creatures. The professions of law
and medicine, which they had respec-
lively embraced, not affording suffi-
cient scope for their energies, they
were constantly on the lookout foI
new means of employing their su-
perior talents. He who discovered
such a way was regarded with admir-
ing envy by his friends
II say, Ned" remarked the Escu-
lapian, walking into the lawyers
Office one fine day, I've got an idea.
'Re-mark-a-ble,' drawled Mr..
Carter; for they did not, as a rule,
manifest in words their mutual re-
spect-
Let US investigate the proportion
ate number of fools feminine in this
place" quoth the man of science.
I've have frequently done so,' OBJ
jected the legal light.
But in a way that we have never
yet tried. Let's advertise for a wife. -
Il don't have to, responded the
other, with easy superiority.
''Oh, / know you're engaged, and
all that; but l didn't mean to be in
earnest about it. l mean just for the
fun of the thing, to see how many
would be fool enough to answer it."
MIR. Carter considered the subject
for moment, but his legal acumen
could see no reason for further resist
ing the desire of his friend, and the
two concocted pair of advertisements
which We're in the highest style of the
art 1t is enough to say that in each
one the charms of the gentlemen were
set forth with no overweening modes
ty; while it demanded that the lady
should merely be young, beautiful,
accomplished, rich, of domestic tastes,
a good hOusekeeper and brilliant
conversationalist. ] may have forgot
ten few of the requirements; but these
were certainly the principal qualities
demanded.
Each was to keep his experience a
profound secret from the other for the
space Of two weeks; at the end of that
period DR.. Raymond was to resort TO
Mr.. Carter Office, and they were to
narrate faithfully and IN toto, the re-
suits of the advertisement inserted by
each.
Promptly at the appointed time the
physician sought the lawyer. He
came reluctantly, as If he half-feared
the reception with which his romantic
tale would be received; his coming was
awaited with dread.
- Oh, you've come, have you?''
sighed Mr.. Carter; IL thought may
be you'd have q patient that would de-
tain you
Your imagination does you credit, -
returned Raymond; IF mine We're as
active, 1 should say that L thought
may be a client would be seeking your
advice; but l can not picture that state
of affairs to myself"
But I've had a Client" was the re-
sponse, with certain air of triumph
Dr. Raymond was sure that it must be
triumph. although it was so carefully
subdued as to resemble disgust
And I've had a patient, a pretty
one, too" he answered, endeavoring
to assert his equality; but let's get
to business How did your advertise
ment pan out?"
"Oh, l got seventeen answers, and
every blessed one of them seemed 10
think that she filed the bill exactly.
Sixteen of them couldn't spell, and
their letters were horribly written
not the society scrawl, but labored
attempt that showed that the writer
would do well If she could
Deserve credit for it" murmured
the other; most of the girls try to
see WnaL an unuSSl pL1STdO4S SCIdtSu
they can put on paper.
lit can't be worse than your pre-
scriptious would be if you ever have
occasion 10 write any," retorted the
lawyer; .'but keep still now, or else
tell your story first
For heavens sake, go onr' i'm.
plored DR.. Raymond.
Il divided these sixteen into squads
of four, and selected three D. N. or
four consecutive days as the time o
meeting; that corner across the stree
as the place. Each was to carry {
white handkerchief rs n signal"
You wrote To four to come a
once?n inquired Raymond. with inter
est tempered by incredulity.
"Of course. You should have seel
each glare at the other three as sh'
noted the sign which was TO distin
| guish her from all others l kept dis
| creetly IN the background Up here
! and saw it all, myself invisible.