The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-05
BRIGHT BITS.

MADAM-Doo up my hair, Felice, while am
down to breakfast
tellce-Ges, madam; which colore
hadatn-Ihe black, please-I am going to a
luhefal.-BtJtghdDltO Republican.
Il love you we'll the stamp exclaimed,
Dear envelope so true;
In TACT, 1t is evident 10 all
mat am stuck on you"
Minneapolis Tribune
Mr. SNAGsBY-Your friend Miss Rapid has
eeen treating me very i'll. She called me an old
fool just now
Miss SHARP-How silly of you to notice it.
when you know you are not 80 yet.-.Scribner's
TAXING THE RESOURCES The Editor Ito Fore
inan-How is our supply of cap Is?
Foreman-Full, sir. Two hundred pounds
came from the type foundry last week
Editor-Then let this letter 80 in. 1t is from
Adam Badeau.-Life.
JUDGE-YOu were arrested for walking on the
grass IN the park and that too, right near a
notice warning you to keep off
Accused-Yes, I'm nearsighted, YOU know
ana couldnt make out what the sign was, so |
went over on the grass to cad it and was ar
reSted.-Omdhd World.
CONVICTED BEeGAR-Your honor. couldn,t
a fine?
No, that cannot do. And where would you
get the money if / did?''
Il could beg a little every dav fill 7 had
enough FIiegeRde Batter
. Il THINK | am the unluckiest man that ever
hVed remarked travelling man to a friend
. foure not so unlucky as | am. I'm posi-
tlVely glad that wasn't born with a silver spoon
in my mouth"
"Why?n
Because I feel certain that it would have
strangled me. Merchant TraUeler.
ACCUSTOMED TO CONE IN LATE.-At the close
OF the American derby, a young man from
Louisville tore up a bundle of pool tickets ana
stared sadly at the fragments for a moment
lhen he made his way to the stables Here is
my latch-Hey, he said to one of the rubbers in
me me hentucky horses box. Give it to Proctor
hnott, VIII you: He needs 1t more than do. -"
-hdnSds CITY Star.
THE PRICE OF ROYALTY Mrs. Smith-Yes nv
daughter Lucy married a blacksmith and they
nave nice nome and are getting along nicely
wary married a butcher, and is very comfort
ably provided for. Jennie married a section
hand, and they are happily situated.
Mrs Jones-And your daughter GLADYS?
-hrs' Snlth-AlaS, she married a foreign no
Dlehlan. send her 81 per week and some dis
carueu dresses, and by taking in washing she
manages TO support the family Omaha World
UNPRoFEssIoNAL ADvIcE-A Berlin Judge. the
other day, addressing locksmith who appeared
as witness, spoke as follows: Il should have
thought you would dissuade your workmen
from going 10 law for such trifen
Wltness-ThatS what | did! | said: "Chil-
dren,' said l. the clerk at the lawyers will
take your coat and the lawyer will strip off
y ou pun = anu as Ior the Judge, why man,
he Ii skin you alive' You see, talk sensiblv
to the folks like that, but it was all Of no use -
ZeitgeSt.
HE BOUGHT THEM HIMsELF-Wife Sarcastic
ally)-John, that's big trunk saw the men
put INTO the baggage-car just as we started |
suppose it has your bathing outfit in it, and you
want TO show your cigar-Smoking beer drinling
fmeIds how large it is compared with the little
hSnd' Jag tlat has my bathing suit That's an
Old joke John, and you ought to be ashamed of
it. "a
Husband-That hand bag, Maria, has nv
bathing outfit. In that big trunk you will find
two new bathing suits for yourself that lust
about I'LL 1t. l bought them myself and lott
the ones you selected at home Help here
quick, somebody She's tainted !-Chica1o
Tribune.