Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1889-07-12
Legal Nit and Banter.
Yarns about Noted Lawyers,
Jeffreys and the Witness in the Leath
ern DOubiet-HOw Sergt. Dayy
Met His Match-Lord Mans
fields Ready Wit-Wind-
hams Legs.

justice aud chancellor, was once retained
on trial in the course of which he had to
cross examine sturdy coUptrymsn, clad
IN the usual hablliments of laborer,
and, finding the evidence telling against
his client, he endeavored to diconcert the
witness by exclaimipg In his own slutf
manner:
"You fellow in the leathern doublet,
what have you been paid for swearing?'
This, however did not answer his pur-
pose; for the man looked him straight in
the face and replied:
"rruly, sir, if You have no more for
lying than l have for swearing you
might wear leathern doublet as we'll as
l."
In another ease he was matched by an
equally smart witness. Cross examining
gentleman who frequently used the terms
lessor, lessee, assignor, and assignee, he
was led to sxcIaim:
There, you have been with your as
signor and tie assignee, lessor and lessee.
Do you know what a lessor or lessee is?
1 question if you do, with all your formal
evidence
Yes, bat | do" replied the witness,
land | will give you an instance. If You
nod to me you are the nodder, and if l
AtN ~ you you you are Gut uOuuSc.
This would probably satisfy the counsel
that the man knew what be was talking
about.
singing retort. Having dealing with a
gentleman whose nose was of somewhat
peculiar type, he said to MIN:
Now, M. Coppernose, you have been
sworn, what do you say?"
SWhy \, ba
ness, l would not exchange my copper
nose for your brazen face"
We are not informed what influence, if
any, this evidence had upon the Judge
He would probably be satisfied as to the
veracity of the woman in the following
case, assuming that the cross examination
be correctly reported:
WAS he tall msnY" he asked.
"Not very tall, your honor; much about
the size of your worships honor" replied
the witness.
WAS he good lookingH"
Quite contrary, much like your honor,
but with haudsomer nose"
"Did he squint?"
"a little, your worship; but not SO much
as your honor by good deal"
This, we presume, is one of those cases
in which comparisons would prove obi
Gus.
Sergt. Davy was onoe questioning a
gentleman who appeared at the Court
of Kings Bench to give bail in the sum
of 5000 pounds, md, wishing to display
his wit he asked him in stern manner:
"And pray, sir, how do you make out
that you are worth 5000 pounGs2"
The gentleman thereupon furnished
him with the particulars of his property
up to $40 pounds, upon which the serg-
cant remarked:
That's all very good; but you want
60 pounds more to be worth 5000
pounds"
For that sum-" replied the gentleman,
in no way disconnected, 81 have note of
hand of one of Mr.. Sergeant Davy, and |
hope he will have the honesty soon to set
tie it,"
Upon this, Lord Mansfield observed, in
his usual polite manner:
"Well, Brother Dayy, l think we may &C
oept the bail.
Lord Kenyon, when trying case re-
speeding the non fultiIlment of a cont,ae
on a large scale for shoes, the principal
question in which was ''wbether the shoes
were we'll and soundly made with the lest
his own shoes: "Were the shoes anything
like these?" No, my lord" was the re
ply, "they were good deal better and
! more genteeler."
Garrow, in cross examining q witness
il the Court of Kings Bench, asked him
| if he were not fortune teller.
~ am not" replied tie man, "but can
tell yours"
"What is that to be?" inquired Gar
| row.
"Whys sir, as you made your first speech
at the Old Bailey, so you will make your
| last there"
Another lawyer, questioning a witness
respecting the whereabouts of ship at g
particular time, and being informed
| that she was then in quarantine, dis
| played his geographical knowledge by
| inquiring. and pray sir, where is Quar-
antIne"
On one occasion Sergt. Whitaker was
conducting an examination at the bar OF
the house of lords, when he put ques
ton to the witness which gave rise to
| some objections, and a debate of two
hours ensu-d as to the propriety of the
same. A. the end of that time Whitaker
was re-admitted, and was desired to put
the question over again, but he merely
replied: Upon my word, my lords, it is
so long since first put the question that
| entirely forgot it; but, with your leave,
Ill now put another."s
The passes between bench and bar are
also plentiful and equally amusing. A
story is told of Sir Fletcher North to the
effect that, in addressing a court OF some
question of immortal rights, he happened
to say:
"My lord, I can instance the roint in
my own person. Now, my lDrd, have
myself two little manors."
Here Lord Mansfield internosed, with
one of his blandest smiles: ave- are well
aware of that, Sir Fletcher"
This same judge prided himself on his
power of discovering very early ia q case
its true bearings, and was in the habit of
taking up a book or Newspaper before the
counsel had com pleted their arguments.
On ons occasion, when he did this, Dun
ming, who was addressing the court,
paused in his argume cut; upon which Lord
Mansfield said, without raising his eyes
from his book:
pray go on, Mr.. Cunning; pray GO
on"
To this the advocate replied in sar-
castle manner:
II wait your lordship's pleasure. l fesr
| shall disturb your lordship's most i'm
portant occupation; l will wait Till your
lordship has leisure to attend to my client
and his humble advocate"
Currau was once engaged in an exci'-
ing argument with judge, when the
latter said:
"If you say another word, sir, III con-
NIT YOU
Then, my lord" replied the witty
counsel, sit will be the best thing you'll
have committed this yeer."
At the trial of Horne Tooke, Sir John
Scott, who prosecuted as attorney gener-
al, declared that, in Instit utipg the prose-
cutioD, he had been guided by she do
tates ot his con- cience, and expressed
hope that after he vas gone his children
might feel that in leaving them "a ex-
mple of public probity he had lett them
an inheritance far NOR precious than
any acquisition OF property or honor he
could bequeath TO them, Daring this
speech Sir John shed tfsr=; and, to the
surprise OF the court, Milford, the solicit
tor general, wept also.
"Nhat on earth," said some one to
Tooke, lean Milford be crying for?"
at the thought of the little inheritance
that poor Scott is likely to leave his child
r-p," was Tooke's reply.
A story is told of a well-known lawyer
addressing iary res pecting a chimney
being on fire, and in the course OF his aG-
dress eIclaining: Gentlemen, the chin
pey took FIRE; it poured forth volues of