Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1889-04-18
SiNDBAD IN AMERICA
"has the Famous Arabian Sailor Heard
and Saw in the New World.

SiNDBAD IN AMERICA.
what the Famous Arabian Sailor Heard
ana Saw in the New World
ABOUT the biggest thing struck dur
ing my soJourn in the United States, ~
remarked Sindbad, after a long period
OF silence, WAS the Spiritualistic
racket
Whats that?" inquired Hindbad.
with an appearance of interest.
What is ite" cried Sindbad excit-
ediy. well, it's the greatest idea
you ever heard of. The scheme is
generally worked by an elderly female
OF about two hundred pounds weight.
with an emotional nature and a wicked
eye. For a trifiing sum, equivalent to
about three sequins of our money. this
iady Will cause a choice assortment of
spirits OF all ages aud both sexes to
amoie forth from a black walnut cabi-
net. which has been previously exam
lned by committee from the audience.
and converse affably with those thew
have known and loved in lifetime"
'She will. ehPn said Hindbad, with
an lncredulous smile.
"fes, she will, and can prove it. ~
responded Sindbad, evidently hurt.
''But her best racket is to get a hacker
In the shape of u venerable man with
dreamy eyes and good business con-
nectlons. The way she freezes onto
him. If l may be permitted the express
sion. is a caution. Mediums, as these
rarQlC-Diffn6 hninorC
high, but some of the moneyed men
feel that they must have them"
80 L should suppose" said Hind
bad, sitting q yawn and trying to look
interested.
Sindhad gazed at him sharply few
moments, and then, with sigh, re-
sumed:
Another thing which interested me
good deal in the land of the Franks
was the mind cure. which has grown
to be quite Il business I've been think
ing some of introducing it into Bag
dad"
Does it take much capital?" asked
Hindbad.
ut doesn't take any. Suppose I am
a professor of the science of mental
healing. You are taken ill and send
for me. 1 sit by your side in silence
and with closed eyes for about half an
hour. then collect two sequins and
go on to my next stand"
And what good does that do me?"
demanded Hindbad.
THAT depends" said the sailor.
CT IL, L.
ders.
''Humph! And you mean to say
that the Franks stand that sort OF
thing?"
Certainly do. Do you doubt my
word?"
mo; but I'm glad you told me. be-
cause l had a different idea of them"
returned Hindbad, gazing at the cell
ing with a peculiar smile.
Yes" muttered Sindbad beneath
his breath, his face flushing with in
dignation. you'll swallow all the fairy
stories want to tell you aud call for
more; but as soon as I get down to
cold facts you begin to express in
credulity. All right. have it your own
way. Another thing, Hindbad," he
added aloud, 'that impressed me
deeply in the United States was the
distinct articulation of the church
choirs; you can always understand
every blamed word they sing"
'Aliah is great" calculated Hind
bad, piously.
Their actors" continued Sindbad,
with animation, ''unlike ours, never
become afflicted with cranial enlarge
ment. but are characterized by
shrinking modesty which at times is
almost painful. | should also mention
that bald heads are never seen in the
front row at burlesQue performances
as in Bagbad. and that Washers are
unknown. American humorists, |
must not forgot to add. are prohibited
by law from perpetrating chestnuts,
and references to Susan b. Anthony,
the mother-in-law and the spring
poem are never found in their works"
..By the beard of the Prophet"
cried Hindbad enthusiastically, as he
reached for his turbau, "a wonderful
country! You must tell me more about
it the next time l come around And
he meandered thence. bordering deep
" upon what he had heard. f. A.
Stearns, in n. Y. World.