Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1889-10-24
NOT THE STATUTES.
Getting a Defendant Out of Very
Close Corner.

Judge c., Of Vermont, was fond of a
joke, when it could be done" without
special injury to public or individual
rights.
On one occasion, as he was travelling
toward the northern part of the State, to
hold term Of court in the county of
w -, he came to a public house where q
Justices court was in session. As it was
late, and the weather cold and wet, he con
cluded to put up for the night. Sending
his horse to the stable, he entered the bar
room, which he found crowded with pso-
pie, who seemed greatly excited about the
case on trial. He had thrown off his outer
garments, and was composing himself be
fore a good, old fashioned blazing fire,
when young man came up to him. and,
bowing respectfully, asked his assistance in
the case.
but they say Yer Honor is death on des-
pert cases, ard mine amt so bad as 1t
might be, after ALL"
Upon irquiry, the Judge learned that
his applicant had been arrested fc~ wan
tonly upsetting chuJn of sap IN his
neighbO1's suear-lot The yOungster had
been caught in the very act by two respect
able witnesses, and thus the evidence was
as he said, 'clear agin' him."
After hearing all the facts the Judge in
formed him that it was really desperate
case, but he added:
II will watch the progress of the trial
and if an opportunity presents itself l will
help you"
Accordingly he threw open the door
leading from his apartment to the room
where the trial was going on and sat
careless spectator of the proceedings.
The counsel for the State put in his tes-
timony and proved the charge conclusively.
Tbereupon the magistrate turned upon the
respondent and with stern voice asked
him if he had "got anything to say 10 all
this ERE evidential testimony"
The prisoner was dumb, but looked i'm
ploripgly toward the Judge, who at once
arose and approached the table at which the
Justice was sitting.
"You needn't think ye can do any kinder
good here, for the mind of this court is en-
tirely made up about this cOnsarD; that l
can tell ye, mister"
May it please Your Honor" aid the
Judge, bowing very gracefully, ut is no
doubt true that the charge made against
the respondent is fully sus' aimed by the
testimony. l do not deny it, but for all
that he has defense"
"A defense! What is it ?" growled the
court.
"And, Your Honor, it is this: 1 profess
to know little about law, having prac-
ticed more than thirty years past, especial
ly the statute Jaws of Vermont. Now,
Your Honor, may be Distak en-, but | am
confident there is nothing in the statute
books of Vermont against upse tting an
empty churn or churn full of sap. beg
of the court not to rely upon my word, but
if Your Honor is not satisfied upon this
point / would recommend an examination
of the statutes"
The counsel for the State rose to reply.
"Stop! stopm vociferated the court, this
pint must be settled before we move an
other inch"
And thereupon, seiZing the statute book
and turning to the index he began search
ing under the letter G 'or the word Churn.
Not finding it he next looked under s for
Sap. Not finding Sap he continued his
search under the title of q for Upsettjng.
Still unsuccessful he looked under the
title Grimes and Misdemeanors." Finally
he.rumaged the book from beginning to
end, and finding it silent upon the subject
of "upsettipg cburns," he arose, and,
addressing the pr soner, said:
"Young man, this ERE court is satisfied
that there amt nothin' in the laws Of Yer
mont agin tippin' over churnfull of zap.
There amt nuthin' about churns, anyway
nor sap, nuther. But l want ye should
remember one thing-that this ERE court
has made up its mind that it's shame
that there's so many maple trees in this
State and no law agin' tippin' over sap"
Whereupon the prisoner was released.