davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
RANDOM SHOTS.

AT the battle of Cold Harbor 10000
Union soldiers were killed and wounded
in ten minutes, and thousands of the
wounded lay on the field for three days,
between two fires, before they could be
removed.
Boston pledged railroad rates and
hotel accommodations for next year to
suit the comrades, and led all to believe
that Boston beans and clam bakes
were fit food for the gods and the
Grand Army.
ALTHOUGH it was not thought expedi-
ent to admit the Sons OF Veterans even
to limited membership in the Grand
Army the encampment endorsed them
fully and pledged aid to their organic
alton as it is.
IT costs sl33. OOo 600 year to sup
port the armies OF Europe. The Union
army, between 1861 and 1865, lost more
men than all the armies OF Europe
combined have in the last threo-quar-
tors OF century.
COLONEL j. B. BATCHELDER, Gov
ernment historian OF tho battle OF Get
tysburg, who is now looking over tho
battlefield at that place, feels greatly
encouraged in the favorable replies he
is receiving relative to his proposition
to open an avenue along tho fourteen
miles occupied by the Confederate army
in tho battle OF Gettysburg, on which
the positions of the various commands
in line OF battle will be marked.
AT the business meeting OF the Society
OF the Army OF West Virginia the fol-
lowing officers were elected: President,
General George B. Crook; vlce-presi-
dents. General r. b. Hayes, OF FIRE.
mont, General w. H. Powell OF Belle
vile, Ind, General /. II. Duvall OF
Wheeling. General h i. Kelly of
Washington. H. +. Duvall, w. ii.
Enochs OF Parkersburg, Major b M.
Skinner OF Pomeroyr Colonel John A.
Turley OF Portsmouth, Thayer Milyan
of Wheeling, Major James l.. Botsford,
Captain H. G. MoWharter OF Char
lotte. w, Va,
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
RENEniCK,S Will.
A Story That Seemingly Is Too Good to
He True.


Benodick, a well-known man about
town, having resolved to marry,
thought it wise to draw n line between
the life he had led and the new life
which opened before him. To this end
he had invited some two dozen cronies
to q farewell dinner at an uptown
restaurant, at which every one enjoyed
the wines and viands, and tho feast
was prolonged to late hour. Finally
the host arose and spoke these words:
Gentlemen, the moment has come
TO deliver the little speech that | have
prepared for this occasion. You were
invited to meet me here for tho pur-
pose OF closing an interesting chapter
OF my life. thank you for your COM
pany, and have passed delightful
evening. Be good enough now to give
me your serious attention. My idea
being to turn over new leaf, and
not to live as a married man the kind
OF life lived as an unmarried one,
have to announce to you that from this
moment the Benedick whom you have
known is dead-dead and buried. !
no longer shall circle in your orbit nor
you in mine. Permit me, however, to
leave to each one of you n little souv-
enir and to wish that each one of you
may, as speedily as possible, follow
my example. My servant will now
read you my last will and testament.
Farewell"
So saying Benedick disappeared; the
servant remaining read the will as an
nounced. By this document each one
received portion of the goods of the
defunct bachelor. To one he left his
card table, to another his sideboard, to
third his collection of photographs
A postscript announced that Benedick
was going to settle down in Jersey and
lead the life Of country gentleman.
There he proposed to spend the greater
part of the year, visiting the metropo-
lis for month or two in tho winter
perhaps. When he reaches the city
lie Immediately arrauges for a sitting
at fashionable church on the avenue,
and there he may be seen every Sum
day with his charming wife. Never
was there more complete conversion,
and never was penitent more blessed
IN. Y. Times.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
a Mighty Lucky knapsack.

Some soldiers find it hard to throw
away their valuables even on the most
wearisome marches. A private Of the
Twenty-seventh Massachusetts was a
man of this class, and had often been
laughed at for his popularity. One
day, during lull while the army was
before Petersburg, Private H was
sitting in the shade with his back to
the enemy, about ten feet from where
General Stannard was standing. His
knapsack, to which he had clung in all
our movements in spite of the jeers of
his comrades, was strapped upon his
back. A siX-pound shot came rico
chetting along the ground, hit the KNAPP
sack, and sent its owner sprawling on
the ground. He picked himself up in
wild, confused manner, and began
feeling first of his head and then OF the
knapsack, and when the boys assured
him that he was all right, he responded
only with n siclly smile.
General Stannard noticed his condi-
tion, and to bring him to" ex-
claimed: That's mighty lucky KNAPP
sack, boy!"
Yes" said H, land l always carry
it."
After that it was useless to argue the
knapsack question with him. Youths
Companion.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
THE COLONEL WITHDREW.
How Southern Fire-Eater's Blur Wa
Seen by Plucky Yankee.

How n Southern Fire Eaters Blur Was
Seen by Plucky Yankee.
just after the war there was crowd
OF us in the billiard-room OF II hotel one
evening, and among the "touchy"
Southerners was Colonel Gray, OF the
Tennessee troops He was said to be a
duelist, dead shot, a fearless man and
all that, and was-therefore held in awe.
Among those present was long, lean,
typical Yankee, who had come down to
smell out cotton. He looked humble
and harmless, and had been hustled
around good deal without losing his
temper. BY some accident in moving
about he bumped the Colonel, and the
latter promptly wheeled on him with:
"Sir, you are as clumsy as an OK"
Don't get riled, Kurnel; didn't
mean to-" was the reply.
1t was good time to bluff, and the
Colonel drew himself up and replied:
Then apologize, sir-apologize at
once!"
~ said didn't mean 1t, and didn't,
but / amt going to crawl, you know"
"Who are you, sirP'
"Wall, meow, I'm Isaac Williams, and
who might you beP"
"You have insulted me, sir! There's
my card"
Williams took the pasteboard, looked
at it all over, slowly read the name,
and turned to tho Colonel with:
"Hev ye got any cotton TO sell, Kur-
mel? II so, I'm your huckleberry."
"If you have a friend, lot him consult
with the Major here!' replied the fire.
eater.
Some ono explained to the Yankee
that he had been challenged. and no
scratched his head, whistled his sur
prise. and following tho Colonel to tho
bar, he said:
See here, Kurnel, don't want this
blamed thing hanging over me all
night and disturbing my sleep. Let 8
have 1t out now"
He fished up a Remington from his
right hip pocket, second from his
left, and handing one to the Colonel,
he advanced his right foot and said;
''Toe TO toe. Kurnel. and muzzlo TO
breast. That guarantees sure work and
no fooling. Somebody count five and
then we'll begin the sEirmish. My will
has been made for two years, and i
reckon tho papers will inform Hannah
how turned up my toes"
The Colonel took the revolver, start
ed to advance his foot, drew II back,
turned as white as snow, and laying the
weapon on the bar. walked out OF the
place without word to any one. The
Yank had raised him out OF the game.
IN. Y. Sun.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
An Expensive Compromise.

Captain Kotzabric is veteran OF the
United States navy. He served during
tho war and made record for himself.
He used to live here in Chicago. Now
he lives in Ohio. near Columbus. The
other day he passed through here on
his way from the G. A. r. reunion at
Milwaukee, and he told story. 1t
was story about Chicago old settler
named Bush. Away back in 1851 Bush
quarreled with a muscular and irasci-
BILE neighbor, and the latter whipped
him. As Bush was unable to take the
law in his own hands, he brought a
civil suit for damages against his mus
cular neighbor This neighbor did not
relish the prospect of a suit, and he
finally compromised the matter by deed
ing a lot to Bush. The suit was drop
ped, Bush still owns the lot. He has
refused an offer OF $100 600 for it. 1t is
located on Washington street, and is in
creasing in value all the time. He was
licked in 1881, but he has his revenge in
this title deed. 1t might have cost his
muscular neighbor 800 to contest tho
suit 1t has cost him 800. 900 to COM
promise it.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

nm l amt goin' to hev any truck with any
Of 'em, much less havin' of 'em in the fam.
bly,
"l'd like ter know what you got agin 'em,
or what harm any of 'em, speshully Jet,
ever done ter you,n queried the girl; and
then, as she hung up her dishpan behind
the stove and pushed lack the little sup.
portable, she continued "The Waymres
are bout as well Off an bout as well
thought of as we are, an if Jet wan is ter
come here to see me can't see why he
can't, that's ALL"
"See here, Mary" said the OLD man, wrath
fully, as he rose to his feet, "don't get
sassy, now. You're mighty nigh woman
grown, but as long as you stay round this
house you've got ter mind me or take the
consequences"
''Pap,n broke in a kindly voice, "don'i
get frustrated, now" 1t was old Mrs. Pit
zenberger, who had just come into then
presence, and who had way of cooling heI
husband down whenever he took one of his
tantrums, as she called them. pap" she
continued, "Mary is gittin' old enough to
know her own mind AM 'twont do no gooG
fer either of US 10 go opposin' of her. Ei
she an Jet are boun' ter go tergether,
they'll put erbout ter do it. l know girls
bNNNSA "a SNu wv pNPi oN e"hN 'Ay NN'ANN N'N
don't poster Mary now"
But his good wife seemed for once to have
lost her influence with Uncle Abe, for in.
stead OF needing her words as he usually
did, he turned fiercely on her and told her
TO mind her own business, and added:
"As long as girl of mine stays 'round
my house she'll mind what l tell her, or
I'll strap her. don't keer ef she's as old us
Methuseler an as big as err mountain"
AS for Mary seeing now that her father
and mother were in for somewhat pro.
longed discussion and in which she well
knew her mother would not come out
second best, she put on her hat, and gath
ering her milk pals, quietly left the house
for the cow-lot, which was situated at the
edge of large pasture e-teld some rods dis.
tant. AS she walked along the path that
led down the hill, by the little spring-house
at its base, and across the branch, on the
other side OF which were the pasture. bars
where the 1uiet-faced cows were waiting
for her, she was hot and angry. And very
beautiful, too, she looked in her wrath; her
eyes glittered like stars in Il summers sky,
while her cheeks flushed crimson, beside
which the poppies in her own little garden
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

would have hanged their heads in sham e.
II Jet could only have seen her then But
Mary was evidently thinking less of him
than OF her father; for as she walked along
taking half aloud TO herself, the words
pap aud "mother" fell from her lips re,
peatedly, but not once did she mention Jets
name.
Later in the evening, and just as IL was
growing dusk, when the tree-toad had be.
gun his evenings song in the old locust
iree in the front yard, and the whippoorwill
was singing in the pasture down by the
creek. Mary, having finished her evening
chores, stole silently out by the front porch
and hurried swiftly away in the fast-gath'
ering darkness. fancy the reader need
scarcely be told where she was bound On
she went until she reached the corner Of II
large wood lot nearly half a mile from her
fathers house. Here she stopped, and, al
most out OF breath, seated herself on an
old log. A moment later she heard the
sound of wheels approaching, and she
stood up and listened. Presently man in
buggy drove up aud, springing from his
seat, caught her in his arms.
"oh. Jet" the girl whispered, as soon as
they had exchanged greetings, pap IL
awful mad. He almost ordered me out OF
the house II 1 ever spoke TO you ag In, an
him an mother are hayin' words about IL
yet"
Jet, q big, tall fellow, straight and broad
shouldered, with brown eyes and an hon
est, sunburnt face, Strengthened himself NJ
proudly, and, throwing his hat well back OIL
his head, an act that indicated his frank
and fearless nature, laughed loud and long
"Well, - he said, as soon as he could speak
again, "somo old people are bound ter be
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
No Cure No Paw.

It is pretty severe test of any doctor's
skill when the payment of his fee is made
conditional upon his curing his patient Yet
after having, for many years, observed the
thousands of marvellous cures effected in
Plerce's Golden Medical Discovery, its
manufacturers feel warranted in selling 1t,
as they are now doing, through all drug
gists, the world over, under certificate of
postttre guarantee that it will either benefit
they recommend it, If taken in time and
given fair trial, or money paid for it will
be promptly refunded Torpid liver, or
''biliousness," impure blood, skin eruptions,
scrofulous sores and swellings, consump-
ton (which is scrofula of the lungs), all
yield to this wonderful medicine. II is both
tonic or ngthrestoring, and Alternative
or blood-cleansing.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
Shegot it,-Boston Courier.


The reporter for the Associated Press did
not mean to perpctrato joke. He merely
wrote out and sent for cold typo the actual
occurrence. There was great procession
and President Cleveland was reviewing the
troops In New York City. The time was
about three weeks before his marriage
with Miss Folsom. The reporter wrote: "As
Gilmore's band passed the reviewing stand
they struck up the popular operatic air,
For he's going TO marry Yum.Yum, Yum.
YUM and the President smiled as he bowed
10 the leader.n
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

back porch of his cabin smoking his pipe,
while his daughter Mary, whom he was ad-
dressing, was busy washing the supper
dishes. AS he concluded his speech and re.
sumed his pipe, Mary, acomoly lass of nine
teen, with hair and eyes black as a ravens
wing and complexion as fresh and bcauti-
ful as the roses that bloomed in the front
yard, stopped her clatter with the dishes,
and, looking her father full in the face, ro.
Piled:
"Pap, you're older'n am, an spose
know moro bout every thing; but toll you
Jets as nice er young fellcr as there is in
this settlement He's homes an stiddy, an
has good team an farmin' things, sides
some money he's saved"
''Don't mako no difference" answered the
old man, promptly, chow homes an stiddy
he be, don't like mono o. the Waymire set,
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

Captain Frederick Phlsterer, late of
the United States army, in his supple
mentary volume of Statistical Record
of tho Military Actions in the Civil
War published by Charles Scribner's
Sons, New York, 1889. gives the dato
and place OF every engagement, begin
ming at Fort Sumter, April ~ and 10,
1861, and ending with the surrender of
General Kirby Smiths forces, May 26,
1865. A surrender is classed as an on
gagement and he sums up all meetings
of opposing forces, whether many or
few participated, at 2,26l. There were
in each year such actions and engage
ments as follows:
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

They were sitting on the piazza that foced
the sea, watching the white sailed yachts
as they crossed the moons track, whom he
suddenly said;
al think it must be delightful sailing on
such q lovely night"
10 lovely, l should think"
~ wish l owned one for your sake. !
would take you sailing every night.n
"That would be Just lovelyl"
what kind OF a yacht would you prefer
"a steam yacht or sailing onel"
~ Think she murmured, us she glanced
around, II think / would prefer a little
smack
Shegot it.-Boston Courier
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

The fights with the Indians in the
Western and Northwestern States and
Territories are not enumerated in the
above, for, although they eXerted some
little influence in the civil war, they
had no connection with the Confeder-
ates and were not inspired by them.
These aro rather curious statistics, and
they show how the terrible conflict per-
vaded the entire Union. N. o. Fic-
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

fools, cause they just can't help II, s'pose.
But we'll show 'em a trick or two, Mary;
just git In the buggy an como with rneu
He assisted bnr In and they drove rapidly
away,
~
Tho next morning old Abo sat on tho
| front porch smokinu Vie roci ',.i In woe
inside clearing away the breakfast table,
but her sad and tcar-stainod face showed
that she had passed sleepcss night.
Finally, having finished up her work, she
went out and sat down beside her husband.
"Now, pap" she began, as she took up
her knitting, "you kin look for Jet and
Mary TO come orlong most emmy minute. ]
know jos' as well as I'm livin', that
they've gono an got married, an, what's
moro, don't blame 'om. Now, when they
do comc,n sho continued, ~ want you to be-
have yourself; IL you don't I'll git jet to
trouncc you, an you know ho'll do II in
mighty short order, specially II ask him
to.n
Old Abo gruntod and smoked in silence.
He know ho was beaten, and like n true
philosopher he took the matter coolly.
"Hclon, papl"
Both OF the old people started ms though
they had been shocked, and turned their
eyes toward tho road. AT the gate stood
morse ana buggy jet was helping Mary to
alight; then he hitched his horse, and talk.
ing her arm IN his they walked boldly nlong
tho path toward the house. Mary and her
mother met half way in each others arms,
but old Abo sat still and smoked. jet
walked up to him, and slapping him on the
shoulder, said; Pap, me an Mary smarried.
What you goin to do erbout itir
The old man smoked on In silence for
moment thpn hp nnsworpd.
"Nothin', reckon. But the next time
find good bee tree and you git TO II afore
do an steal all tho honey, you'll at least
divide with me, speshully as it'll all be in
the family, cnnyhowp
"lou bct1 will, j" laughed Jet in reply,
IAN | know OF mighty good one rlghtnow.
Wen go an tap 1t ter-morrer."
And they did.-Ed II, Pritchard, in Ar
kansnw Traveller.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

Some peevish, quertOous people seem mere
bundles Of nerves. The least sound agitate
thelr sensOriums and ruflles their tempers.
No doubt they are born so. But may not
their nervousness be ameliorated, If not en-
tirely reiievedl Unquestionably, and with
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. BY cultiYat-
ing their digestion, and insuring more COM
plete assimilation of the food with this ad-
mirable corrective, they will experience a
speedy and very perceptible gain in nerve
quietude. Dyspepsia, biliousness, constipa-
tion and rheumatism yield to the Bitters.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

The above statement made by Mrs. S. H
Ford, wife of Gen. Ford, can be vouched fol-
by nearly the entire population Of Coruuna
Mich, her home for years. She was for two
years terrible sufferer from rheumatism
being confined to her bed most of the time
her feet and limbs being so badly swollen
she could scarcely move. She was induced
to try bottle of Hibbard's Rheumatic
Syrup. 1t helped her, and two additiona
bottles entirely cured her. To-day she is q
well woman.
First ask your druggist, should he moi
keep it we will send on receipt of price
sl.00 per bottle or six for $500.
RHEUMATIC SYRUP Co,
Jackson, Mich.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
TITS STRANGE.

IT'S strange how positions can change
Tho weight a. an object through PANT
A hornet for Instance, may range
Ger tho shining bald roof OF the brain,
And ns long rs ho stands up oroot
He's rs light ms n ray OF tho sun,
Yet let him but squat down." and loi
said hornet weighs fully toni
'Tls strange, too. that moments there arc,
As death sturAs us straight in tho eye,
When It's safer and wiser by far
TO stand perfectly still and not ny.
aud ono Of those moments Is when,
In turning corner, you meet
A oross-eyod and bow.logged man
Foso to faco on tho curb OF tho street,
A. M. KERR.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
HOW / SAW FRED DOUGLASS
Alex &c. Sweet Relates an Amusing Rom.
inisccnco of tho Great Coiorod Orator.

ONSUL at Hayu ia
the office to which
President Harrison
has appointed Fred
Douglass. / suppose
the appointment is a
good thing; for Doug
lass is undoubtedly
one Of the ablest, IL
not the ablest, colored
men in tho country.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
TakIng a Menn Adyantage.

Ata wedding DreRhiRst the conVerbnu0I
turned on longevity,
"In our family" said the BRIDES mother,
''we live 10 be very old. There was my ia
ther, a druggist, who did not die until he
was over hundred
"And you never even limited II 10 me-
said the newly-made son-ly-lasy, In . re
proachfu tone. Judge.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
JET WAYMIRE.
The Story of His Courtship and
Marriage.

ow, looky here,
Mary, I'm not goln'
ter hev that dorned
onery Jet Waymire
roun' here courtini
you, an that settles
II. Ef ever he sets
foot inside my door.
yardrll erbout break
his blamed neck,
that's what III do;
an that's the word
with u bark on It,"
Old Abe Pitzen.
b berger delivered
himself Of the above
quoted remarks as
ho sat one summer
.-.H -. Al n.saN.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

These pills are scientifically compounded
uniform In action. No gripping pain so com.
monty following the use Of pills. They are
perfect safety. We guarantee they have
no equal in the cure OF Sick Headache, Con-
stipation, Dyspepsia, Biliousness; and, as an
appetizer, they excel any other preparation.
ATHENS, Ga, has q COW that walked on
the cross ties over tresue sixty.fve feet
high and $50 yards long.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

OF course 1864 was the bloody year,
not only because OF its greatest number
OF battles but also because Of the des-
porate campaigns of Grant in Virginia
and in the heavy operations in Tennes-
see and Georgia counted up so terribly
in losses. Captain Phisterer figures up
the engagements by the States as fol-
lows:
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

THE star OF empire is ever tending West
ward. The marvellous growth Of Kansas, Ne
orado, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, and the
great mineral region between the Rock
ies,n and the Pacific Coast with its varied
climate and productions, afford ample room
for millions Of industrious people. Circu-
iitrsd lars and pamphlets gotten up by land spec.
are often misleading If you want reliable
information about the great West, you must
get 1t through reputable and responsible
papers. Such you will find the Omaha Bee,
now in its nineteenth year. Sample copies
mailed free. Direct letter or postal card ::
The WEEKLY BEE, Omaha, Nebraska.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20
BATTLES oE The WAR.


The manager OF one OF tho railroads
that lies chiefly in Tennessee has issued
map of tho Southern States in. which
is dotted what is represented TO bo the
locality OF ovory chief battle OF tho civil
war. or course the lessor actions arc
not given and only considerable battles
are mentioned; tho whole number is put
down at S02. They are distributed by
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

PENNSYLVANIA has big trout farm neat
railroad, There are eight ponds at the farm
(which number by actual count 81, 700 brook
trout aud $500 California trout from one te
four wears of age -
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1889-09-20

IF not above being taught by man, take
this good advice. Try DobbinS Electric Soap
next Monday. II won't cost much, and you
is. Bo sure 10 get no imitation,