Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1889-08-22
WIT AND IIIfMOR.
Soaking of detectives, isn't The sun
l.,1do,rpr2- Boston Courier.

gazette.
1sCen Greely ever has monument
ted To him il ought to be a statue
Washington critic.
The seboolboy thinks that switch
= band would be twice rs good in the
bush.-Lye.
Mandy I hear, Pamby that you
-osss.s an estimable wife. Panty
PsgdIy)-No, she possesses me. Yam
Zee Blade
sbe-All extremely bright men are
owfullv conceited, anyway. He-O, i
don't know; I'm not.-Haroard Lam
p00R.
Young neople who have courted in
,oeierv 90 on bridal trips to see how
tbev like each other.-Net0 Orleans
PicqyaHe.
n is easier for New York people to
select the site for a monument than to
secura sight of the monument itself.
-PiHsbuyg Chronicle
switzerland has a beautiful town by
the name of Jarz But you can get as
beautiful jags by stayingright at home
Ksarney Enterprise.
correspondent wants to know how
10 remove paint. The best way is to
Sit down on it and then get up and
walk away.-R0cheSter Post.
Mr.. Notwithstanding. you
have been weeping. What is it, my
sweetest love? Mrs. Younghusband-
Horseradish.- Detroit Free Press.
An article in an exchange is called
"The Last Words of Great Men, but
an impression has long prevailed that
women always have the last words
NorriSt5Wu Heraid
"Have you any cash tonight, Ned?"
.I.ot me see Yes, I've dollar and
some cents" "Ah! some sense? Well,
that win keep you from spending the
dollar for whisky. '-Jtdge.
"Wives should never conceal any
thing from their husbands" says q
writer. If this advice was carried out
it would create a revolution in feminine
pockets. Huntington Free Press.
From his point of view: Actor
Well. Scalp, hear you were in front
at our first night How did it COP
Scalp (wigmaker) splendid, sir!
Coudn't see a single Join. "-Judy.
Pure Bostonan--Do you believe in
the report that there is creol blood in
Miss Waldo? No." replied Merritt;
IL only wish there was something of
that sort TO take the chill off. '--Jadge. |
81 say, doctor, you who know medi-
cine from A to lizard, what do you do
yourself when YOU have bad coldP'
Physician (who does not believe in
giving advice gratis) Cough. --Judge |
Mother, Eve just bin readin' in the
Sunday-school paper that little boys |
ought TO help their mothers all they
eau, au if YOU want anything down 10
the store I'll 90 right away for you
Life.
Fiatte-I see that the English are
buying up all our lager beer breweries.
wonder how they will carry the beer
across the waterP Sharpe, IN
schooners, l suppose.-New York.
Tribune.
Douglas Maoteryish- Sandy, remem-
Der thls, mon. Honesty is aye the best
policy. Sandy-How do We knaw,
Douglas Mactervish? Douglas Mae
teryIsh-I haze tried bath. -Bariington
Free Press.
Benton Fathers, Esq suppose
yOu don speak to the common herd |
any more, Miss LuckeignP Miss Luck
eigh (who has just realized largely 4
Why certainly. Mr. Fathers, how do I
you do?-Lye.
Poet know now how Columbus
must have felt when I've discovered .
America, Editor How is that? Poet .
gayIy)-Why. I've just found dime
in pocket OF my last summers suit. I
-AeW York. JoaruaL
If man is dead sure of anything in .
this world he can gamble on it. The .
trouble with the average man is that /
he is not quite certain of what he
knows. IL all depends upon some
thing else. -AeU orleans Picag1lne.
as your wife busy with her house
hold atlairs?' yes, buster than ever.
Too bad she will insist upon doing
her own work, isn't it?" "She doesn't
any longer. She's got a servant girl
To look after now."-L0UcU Citizen.
Cone advantage of a small cottage"
says writer on building, lis that it is
easily heated This is very true;
small cottage ia the middle Of July is
warm enough for az body who is not
wholly unreasonable. 49, Christian al
Nog5
NAea girl holds her breath u mo-
ment aud then says sweetly, 80. no,
smoking is not all disagreeable TO me,
Ml Price you may be sure Mr.. Price
+ not az all disagreeable to her,
whether smoking is or not-LoRtSUjlle
journal.
sly. I want to be arrested and sent
% ]ai. said a red-nosed gentleman to
q lly cop what fer? BE We crazypn
'NaW out der temperance galoot says
whisky fills our jails Reckon I'd get
some if I'd be in one. '-AeD
Drsals flagUuc
fifteen years ago Missouri boy
lsi. A.s home and started out to be
come the president of the United .
2.t.@s. lie got as far as Cincinnati.
A1e 1oy is now a man, and he is one
n ,le Jes, shoemakers in the Ohio .
State Prison Tst