The Arkansaw traveler. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1882-1???, 1889-02-16
CAN'T COM E.
Garden city (Kan.) Herald.

attend the inauguration ceremonies Al
Washington on March 1, 1889, but
owing to circumstances beyond our
control we shall be compelled TO re-
spectfully decline. Some people would
send in a cold, formal declination, and
let the matter drop, but we are not
built that way. We feel honored and
grateful that we have not been over
looked in the "make up" and we are
going to tell the committee what ails
us, and why We are not there with
our imposing dome of thought and
august presence.
The committee thinks we have a
pass and could attend just as we'll as
not, but it is deceived, and we feel it
a religious duty to disabuse the minds
of its unsophisticated members. They
never lived in western Kansas and
struggled with a relentless fate and
want of moisture until there was not
enough flesh on their underfed
anatOmies TO cover their intellects, and
their aspirations to be good and great
had become ashamed of their surround
ings and hid in the swishes and swirls
of the sand hills.
They never knew what is was to
feed on expectation and the gorgeous
ness and beauty of an unobstructed
landscape until they became as
diaphanous as a granddaddy longlegs,
and the balmy zephyrs swept through
their attenusted heart-strings, elicit
ing music as mellifiuous as the strains
of an eolian harp. Scarcely. They
don't know how sppallingly INDECENT
we are out here on the border, with
nothing to shelter us from the terrible
blizzard of the eastern press but an
occasional mirage, and with no cover
ing but the blue sky, and that worn
into holes in some places, so as to let
the light through, not to mention
lots of leaks along the milky way.
They never laid down on the buffalo
grass and big invoice of fleas and
slept the sleep of pioneer with
mortgage on his claim and a temper
cent-a-month octopus lien on his
household goods, family heirlooms and
ancestral honor, and feasted for months
on diet of sand plums and water,
and still thanked God for a home in
this favored land-favored with mort
gage fiends and short-loan ShylOcks.
In the absence of such experience,
they don't know how ecstatically and
superbly we gloat over the grandeur
and glory of our profession, with
what a generous and magnificent
pride we reflect upon our position,
and how intensely regretful we are
that we cannot mingle with the
savants, statesmen, ward bummers and
thieves, and help to inaugurate q
president of this great United Ststes
of America, b'goshl
One thing which prevents us from
going to the Inauguration is a want
of transportation, as well as the where
withal with which to purchase it.
A man can stand off the local dealer
in groceries, but a story about q lame
leg or a recent robbery in lonely and
sequestered spot on a cloudy and
moonless night won't go with a rail-
road or post Office. We have tried it
and speak authoritatively.
Our pass only reaches to the Mis-
souri, line, and we are not sure of
that next year. The railroad threatens
to take 1t away from us because we
are not as influential as we were
formerly-just as if a man could
remain large and powerful on the
promises and buoyancy Of a sanguine
nature and the prophetic beckonings
of O rosy, corn-fed futurel We can't