Fergus County argus., 1889-07-04
"CHEsrNUrs. !"

The weeping willow should be planted
in tiers.-Puck.
The most appropriate fowl for a
church bonnet is a bird OF pray.
| It's about time now to turn the hoes
on the corn tield.-Washington Critic.
Thursday was "a very warm day.
Down in East SOmerville n business
firm dissolved. SOmerville Journal.
IL is one OF the compensations OF
| nature that people who are too fresh
are always getting into n pickle
Puck.
Lady Ito applicant for coachmanl-
Are you an Enelishmany'
Applicant-"No,m mum; was born
in Ireland; but I've lived so long in
Ameriky that ! s'pose do seem quite
English, you know. ."-lIarper's Bazar.
ographer - My dear sir, cant
you assume more smiling counte-
nance and throw of that iaded look,
Rev. Y. Y. lieighton-Take me as |
| am. need a vacation this summer,
and these pictures are for distribution
among my parlsh'oners.
.Iudge-Iou were arrest ell for walk
ing on the grass in the park, and that,
TOO, right near IA notice warning YOU
To keep off.
Acc,ised-Ies, I'm near-si.hted, YOU
know, and couldn't make out what
I he sign was, so | went over on the
grass to read it and was arrested.
Vidocq--I think have a sure thing
on the late Mr.. Tascott | don't know
where he is, but ! heard down town
what he is doing
Hawkshaw-Tellm me all about il.
NidOcq-He is in the hide business.
And another lifelong friendship was
severed
Woman Ito tramp Have you any
friends or relatives
Tramp have n brother Bill
Woman-ls Bill tramp, too?
Tramp-No; Bill didn't turn out
very well. He tried most everything,
and finally drifted into the milk bust
ness.
II grasp the situation" said Presi-
dent Harrison, after listening for hall
| an hour to the man who wanted an
office.
That's inst the trouble" gasped
he suppliant. "What | want is for
you to let go OF he situation so that
] can grasp 1t.
"Pa, have about concluded to we'd
for title and become the Countess de
Assinine. What will you settle on he
count"
II will settle on him with both ieet
and an ox-gad, backed by two hun
dred and seventeen pounds avoirdu-
pois. ."-Yonkers Gazette.
Mamma-Bcbby, notice that your
little sister took the smaller apple.
Did you let her have her choice, as l
told you to-
Bobby-Yes. ! told her she could
have the little one or none. and she
chose the little one.
tAll the same civil service plan
The hypocrite who calls himself
One oi this Lords dear lambs.
And always speaks of saving souls
As he would Of picking hams
That man may be by some admired,
But oh he makes ms very tined.
New York Morning Journal
After scratching his head and think
ing for some moments. n Grand Rapids
boy said to his mot her: "Ii God makes
"A stock of little boy and girl babies
! and gives them to married folks, il
seems funny to me that they look So
much like their papas ami mamas
every time Detroit Tribune
L.awyer-Will your honor put the
usual question to the witness a. his
religious belief?
judge-Witness, do you believe in
the existence OF supreme being that
controls he affairs oi men?
Witness Shudge. dot vas
my wife Katrina, bot woman va, der
boss,
what n wonderful painter Rubens
was remarked Merritt at the art
gallery.
ives" assented Cora
1T Is said OF him that le could
change a laughing fac- into sad one
by single, stroke
Why" spoke up little .Iohnnis in
disgust, my school teacher can do
that. Detroit Free Press
Now. sand the bridegroom TO the
bride, when they returned from their
honeymoon trip, Jet us have a clear
understanding before We settle down
to married life. Are you thepresident
or vice president of this societ w.
II want TO lac nell her president nor
vice president, She answered: II will
he content With a subordinate plar-,
love
What j. that
Treasurer