The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-01
BRIGHr BITS

some 90 10 tue UGdfla2As,
81 And some b. the Sea,Fb
And some stay at nome
Meath their own tig-tree!
And I'm a mosquito
So happy ami free,
With nothing to do,
But 70 do them all three
And YOU bet
/ will - Washington Capital
WEAT a complication, When schoolmaster
whips one of the girls he hits a miss. When the
glri lodges she misses a hit.-Philddelphia
Press.
IT is rather hard to bear the snubs of a man
VINO Is gong to make lot Of money; but what
sweet satisfaction we have when he fails to get
there.-Ierre H1ute Express.
SECRETARY BLAINE has spent twenty-eight
years Of his life In Washington and has never
joined CLUB. He has carried one most of the
time, however.-Ne1g York World.
TIRED SALEsLADY-Oh. dear, wish we bad
something to SIT down on
Another T1rsd Salesiady-I sat down on that
ny noorwalker this morninz.-Puck
FROM London comes the pleasant compli-
ment that Mrs. Chamberlain carries herself
like duchess. Let US hope that she will never
carry on like one.-PhiLIdelDttd Times.
WY, Blinkins. that suit looks as if it was
made for man half your size. -
Yes, | know, but | am going to a seaside
hotel tO-mO row for a week. and | want it to fit
me when | come home.''-Life.
THE sad news comes from the Lick observa-
tory that the comet discovered by Prof Barnard
last September has lost its tail. Bobtail COM
cts, like bobtail horse cars, can never hope to
obtain the confidence Of the public.-Nei0 York
World.
SAID faxen-hairei daughter OF Eve to the
dapper young man behind the counter-Have
you nice soft muslin that will suit my com
peXiO1 and hair?
Clerk-Bleached or unbleached. -Phladel
phiG Press.
PAPA, Fido ate both of your slippers up to.
day"
HE did. did he? What did you doy''
Il didn do anything; but l thought if you
wanted to whip Fido I'd lend you my slipper
-Hdrper's Young People.
Mr.. SIssY-Awthau what do you suppose
Mister Fwesh meant?
Arthur-Wnat did he say?
MIR. Slssy-Why, told hin | was about to be
mawwied, and he awsk ID me what was going
to VICAR for my twousseau-Phteddelpht Press.
THE stealing of an umbrella on clear day is
held to be theft by au Omaha Judge; but the
stealing OF the same article on rainy day is
held TO be UNSUITABLE on the ground of self
defense. We presume this decision was rem
dsred IN order to protect the court.-BufGto
Express.
MERRIMAN (pointing at organ grinder and
monkey)-ralk about the evolution of man from
the apel Look at that!
GraveS-Well. what of it?
merriman-Well doesn't that disprove the
theory if anything can? See the man does all
the work and the monkey takes all the money.
-Netc York sun.
FLossIE (after the feast of melons,
Mamma, she said, pressing her hands YEARLY
upou her stomach my sash Is just like win
dow sash, isn't it?'
I'm what way, dear?n asked the mother
smilinsly.
Because it's around the pains, she replied,
demurely Bta0hGmptOn Republican.
A STRANGER landed in an Oxford county town
the other day, ana began to patronize small
10Y Afera little talk the youngSter asked
him where he lived.
II Ilyo IN New York, sonny he said in tones
of pride.
Il should think you'd be lonesome so far off -
said the NATURALIZATION (He.) Journal
Mas. PARyENU-Mr. Travers, you know every
body. VINO is that pretty girl over there sitting
on the divan?
Mr.. Travers-That is one of my sisters, Mrs.
Parvenu.
Mrs Parvenu-Indeed You don't look as if
yol belonged o the same family
Mr.. Travers (sadly)-No, and we never shall
- RIT{i zoe Prose-