The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1889-01-03
A PAIR OF DRAWERS.
Supreme Court Judges Convu1sed with
Laughter--LiFely Patent Case.


Supreme Court Judges .Convulsed With
Laughter--Lively Patent Case.
The New York Herald correspondent
writes the following from Washing
ton:
If the Supreme Court had been trans
ferred to the stage of a theatre and to-
days proceedings advertised, the sign
standing room only" would have been
visible before the curtainwent up, and
when the last act of the drama had
been concluded it is fair to assume that
the entire company would have had to
respond to the enthusiastic calls of the i
audience. Hilarity reigned supreme
in the court room. The usually sedate
and solemn Justices gave way before
the wit and humor of counsel and were
convulsed with laughter, and the walls
of the court room rang merrily. The
fun began when the clerk announced
case No 135-Robert Fl. Anderson, ap-1
pellant, VS.. Henry T. Millee & CO..
and John II. Wise, the exc Congress
man from Virginia, arose tostart the
case in behalf Of the appellant.
1t involves the validity for patent
for patch intended to reinforce draw
ers in the crotch. Mr.. Wise is a bright
witty young lawyer, bubbling over
with good spirits, and with a nobility
of countenance riyalling that Of the
best of comedians. He seized at once
upon the opportunity for a display of
his talents as a fun maker, and with
anecdote, sarcasm and ralliery kept the 4
court, Justices, lawyers, spectators and
all in a roar. Mr.. Wise opened by
reading from his brief The opinion of
Judge Hugnss, Of the United States
Circuit Court for the Eastern District
of Virginia, in the case. This opinion.
is remarkable for its leyity.
Judge Hughes said that it was a
patent for patch upon drawers, ex-
tending from the back of the waist
band down under the crotch and up in
a split form to the Waistband in front.
Of course it is a patch upon new draw
ers before worn. One of its merisis is that
it strengthens or, to use the euphemism
of the Patent Office, "reinforcesp the
drawers at the crotch, where catas-
trophe is most likely to occur. Then
| as a statement of his reasons why he
| did not believe patent should be
granted for this improvement, Judge
Hughes said =
a PATENT TINADMISSIBLE.
ut strikes me that a patent for q
| patch upon drawers, designed to REM.
edy the evils of rip and tear to which
they are liable In the crotch, ought
never to have been granted, interfering
as it must necessarily do with the
prerogative Of the housewives Of the
civilized world to patch the drawers of
their husbands, fathers and sons freely
in their own way with no patentee to
molest or make them afraid.
'It is impossible that the patch can
be novel as to the simple matter OF
Strengthening the seams and them
terial of drawers in the immediate
region of the crotch !; for if drawers do
continually give way there it would be
a reflection upon the housewives Of
civilized society not to. admit that for
hundreds of years they have been in
the habit O. patching the garment sand
the forks thereof by tapping the seams
and reinforcing the rents in that reg.
ion. AS to the disorders of mems
drawers in and near the crotch, which
have troubled housewives for centuries,
[ do not think any person in our day
and generation can employ patch for
the purpose of preventing or curing
them that can have any real novelty" I"
Mr.. Wise dilated upon this opinion
at length, and with inimitable gesture
and expression warned the justices OF
the importance Of the case to the feDai.
nine portion of the community, and Of
the wrath that was impending over
them. Concluding, he said the aasssr.-
4 1ssu11hlec the game Of faro:
There is this difference, however, ~
said the speaker. "In faro the dealer
gets all the splits and in this the splits
are all against the dealer" At this
sally the Court lost all likeness to- it's
usually serious and dignifed self. The
laughter became boisterous and every
one gave way freely to his feelings.
Chief Justice Fuller could not restrain
himself and almost fell out of bis chair.
Justice Harlan's huge form and big,
rosy, round face became conyulsed
with laughter until it became almost
apoplectic. Justice Gray made strong,
effort to perserve the dignity eli to
Court, but he, too, was co6aI merri-
succumb and join in tho
ment. ---- ----
sHOUTDONE:
FIc.
>ouis Stevenson and His Romance.
Rob