The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-12-20
STANDARD

According To the San Francisco Exam-
liner the various railways in California are
30 deep in water that Il In customary tn
Address the conductors AS commodore.
The car of all the Russias In said tn
have become fascinated with theAmerican
game OF poker. There are plenty OF his
subjects who are willing and anxious to
raise him.
The people who object tn the employ
ment Of British capital in business ON this
side Of the ocean will be interested to
learn that the English insurance com-
panics suffered a loss OF $4,000 by the
Boston fire.
The conductor on the Chicago 4 Alton
railroad who while the train was running
forty miles AN hour slipped on n banana
peel on the platform OF the rear car. and
fell down an embankment one d
feet high, and got up and walked five
miles To Mason City, where he side-trackcd
himself for repairs, should challenge
Steve Brodie to duplicate the experiment.
Speaking OF dead-locks the Gallatin
Democrat mentions the case of two men
waiting i'm N parlor last week tn marry the
saine girl. She had promised to marry
both on the same night and
they were on hand ut the appointed time.
They sat across the room and 9lared at
each other like Kilkenny cats. When the
fair bride-to-be entered the room there was
considerable commotion, and no one
knew which would he chosen by her. They
were not long kept wa itinR, as she imme-
diately took her place by the side of her
Irish lover, and i'm u very short while they
were made man and wife. What the other
fellow did is not stated.
THE MERCHANT OF BUTTE.
ScENE-A street i'm Butte. Dense smoke, fog
and darkness. Enter, in opposite directions,
Silyerio and O'Scoot.
Sil-who's there?
O'Scoot-Nay, answer me; stand and
show forth myself OF by the district court
I'll put n ball i'm thee.
Sil-My hands are up and yet methinks
l recognize that voice. Art not O'Scoot,
the officer of the watch?
O'Scoot-Odds gosh, thou speakest
truly. An my ears deceive me not, thou
art Silverio. the merchant. Well met, my
lord. IT'S a fearful night, let's to the
nearest bar to bulge, withal.
Sil-Anon. O'Scoot. But first put up
thy gun il doth undo me. Thrice have
those cold and pesky things been brae~d
against my temples since I've been forth
this night.
O'Scoot-Thrice, my lord?
Sil-Aye thrice. With thee ! thought
but now my fourth experience came.
Twas thus: l ate my evening meal and
kissed my wife and kids goodbye, desir-
ing ON some friends to call to play with
them the festive bluff. Into the hall I
went and donned my overcoat, the ono of
costly skin, and having gently Rugged the
serving maid-beshrew mo but n buxom
lass she is, withal-I sailed forth. The
smoke was thick SO thick l could not see
my hand before my face, much less my
feet; the which did suddenly escape the
steps, so that my body did revolve around
i'm empty space like any wheel; and when
at last l pick'd my bruised self from of
the ground, scarce had l CROPPED my way
beyond the gate before l heard "a savage
click against my very ear; and with il
came the curdling words up with thy
I waited not, hut held my hands
aloft until l felt 1 could e'cnmost the very
heavens grasp and pull them down kerr
smash below. Then went the robbers
through me.
O'Scoot-Got they much stuff, my lord ?
Sil-All the DOODLE Oh my person-some
six and eighty ducats. together with my
watch of gold. my ilver-mountc gun. six
good cigars for which I'd paid two bits
| apiece, and last my flask of old and pre-
cious booze. And then they left. But ero
l had another block gone on, another
pack of thieves did hold me up; an
other gun I felt unkindly ~fooling
round my head. With hands again on
high l told the rogues they were too late
the pot already had been rak-ed i'm: and
having satisfied themselves I spoke the
truth, they took my overcoat of costly
skin. my necktie and my bosom pin, and
vanished in the deep ana vastly gloom.
Again I journeyed on and went "a little
way, when up there started two more vii
lians Of the road; who, seeing there
was little else, did grab my hat and coat,
and skipped the grewsome gutter. Once
more I travelled and when
heard the sound of thy approach az went
my hands as usual, for filled was I with
expectation that next would go my trou.
sers and my shirt Of which b~ereft-there
being nothing else to take-I thought the
next h~ighwaymcn zen would up and take
my life.
O'Scoot-Bedads, my lord, thy luck ID
hard. With thee. no less than seven and
thirty men. l hear, have been held up this
sclf-same night.
Sil-And caught thou any of the rascals I
O'Scoot-Not ] my lord. I wait for I'm,
Instructions. Alack, this il a busy and q
fearful night, an had I warrants ! woult
serve them. Eight and twenty men, the,
say. have fought within the ring, of whom
scarce IL now survive. the Others beins
punched into their collins. Arson trip,
from street to street. and Murder stalk
with sportive mien. for men and womeI
blow each other up with dynamite ans
giant powder, AS il to see how high they's
go before they went way down below ant
something like n score OF blpkes