St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-08-18
FOLLY AS 1T FLIES.

/ Customer-Who is that man who is
making such terrible row in the back
of the store?
Clerk-'rhat is the silent partner
Boston Post.
Customer-Have you got the "Sartor
Resartus?"
Book Clerk-No, sir; the doctor says
it, the erySipelaS. Lawrence American.
Patient-Well, doctor, what do you
think about the swelling on the back of
my neck?
Doctor don't like the looks of it, as
it is in very dangerous place. so my
advice to you is to keep your eye on it.
Texas Siftings.
Bobby-Don't they ever try to kill the
bulls and bears on Wall street, papa9
Papa-Yes, they do kill them some
times.
Bobby-With gun?
Papa-NO; they catch them in trap
and pinch them to death.-Burlington
Free Press.
Howell Gibbon -Aw, I'm quite
shocked, Tom, to see you going aroun
the streets without vest!
Tom Bigbee (wlping his brow =
Whew! When man wears flannel
shirt to keep cool, Howell. he mustn't
wear anything else he can possibly dis
pense with Puck.
The following touching lines are cred
tied to paper in New YOrk's rural dis
tricts: ut is with deep regret that we
chronicle the death of c. II. M-,of
New York. He passed away on Monday
morning, March 25, after an illness OF
little more than three days. We
had been acquainted for five years. We
hoOan in, tho monthly uCinpSc The
same time. both buying WyandOtte
eggs of the same man. The writer soon
gave up the breed and kept only Lang
shans. But George kept his Wyandottes,
bought only the best, bred carefully,
and though we have seen many fine
birds,w know of few who lay more and
larger eggs, or breed finer chicks than
his do. We have had many fowls and
eggs of him and would as quick trust
him as ourself to ship eggs or select
stock"
Miss Segreen-I don't see how the
ocean steamers can afford to transport
people such long distance, and board
them, too, at such a low price.
Mr.. Pegreen-(who has been across)
Board doesn't cost much.
Nugent Spance-Well. madam. there
is nothing so appropriate for an inno-
cent child as white, pure white.
Mrs. Fauntleroy-Well, Pll look at
some white suits. Are they on this
counter?
Mr.. Spance-No, ma'am; these are
barkeepers' jackets. This way, please!
Judge.
Magistrate TO woman charged with
drunkennessl-You must pay fine of
five shillings.
Prisoner-Sure, then, I've but two
shillings in the world.
Magistrate-Very well, you must go
to prison. If you hadn't got drunk with
your money you'd have had enough to
have paid the fine.-Topical Times.
Husband-What does the paper say
about the big fire of last night?
Wife reading the morning paper)-It
says the boiler burst, and then the scene
that followed baff1ed description.
e husbands that all?
Wife--No; two columns of description
follow that-Tid-Bits
II am from st. Louis" said young
man, as he registered at Chicago no.
tel
- ooh, WE'LL" replied the clerk, COM
New York. Your awful secret will be
safe with me" -Harper's Bazaar.
The seas are drying up, according to
Virgins. We must confess, however,
that Virgins iSn't.-Philadelp Press.
Omaha Chief-And when the shooting
began you ran away from the melee?
Proud Policeman-Yes.
Omaha Chlef-Did you not know you
would be called a coward all your life?
p. P.-I madera hasty calculation to
be coward all my life than corpse
for fifteen minutes.-Omaha World.
= If promoters of Western land schemes,
when sending their prOspectuseS to Mr.. 4
Redundancy, would kindly refrain
from sticking the postage stamp so
firmly on the return envelope they
would confer great favor upon Il
worthy Individual BoSton Transcript.
A ''freak" in Philadelphia offers to
wager 500 that he can eat fifty eggs, in
GLIDING shells, in fifty seconds. Well
bet $4,000 he can't, if he will permit us
to select thd eggs.-Norristown Herald.
A man runs and gets warm. Butter
gets warm and transformers States
man.
Clara-What a terrible noise that
wagon makes!
George-Yes, it's dreadful, isn't it?
''What makes it so, George"
"Why, it is filled with green apples"
-YoRkerS Statesman.
Miss :Gotham-You'I join our theater
party tonight, of course. Miss Wabash?
Miss Wabash (of ChieagoEWhat is
the play?
Miss Gotham "Pygmalion."
Miss Wabash-Yes, indeed; with
pleasure! You knew papa is in the
pork business.-Epoch.
Young Husband-My dear. after
year of unremitting labor and closest
economy, we have, ! find. succeeded in
saving $500. What shall we do with it?
Young Wife-Well. my dear. we both
need rest. Let's go to summer resort
for a week.-New York Weekly.
MI u CIRI lInIIIn SHOOT