Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1889-11-07
A MARTYR TO HONESTY.
Mr.. Upandownjohn, Who, Like
Washington, Gould Not Lie.

Mr.. John Upandownjohn had the
misfortune to be a strictly honest man.
In which particular he stood lamen-
tably alone. He was constructed
peculiarly-he was born into an at
mospere OF integrity, and his train
ing had added to his natural bent to a
degree thai made him as incapable Of
an untruth, or the semblance thereof.
as George Washington himself. Hav-
ing this tendency, it was we'll for him
self that he was born with fortune,
for his rigid adherence to his prin-
ciples untitled him for almost every
occupation. He did try journalism,
but was dismissed ignominiously for
saying of candidate of the party
with which the paper acted that he
was thief and trickster. Then he
essayed the law, but he saw enough
OF law before he had been in an Office
two weeks. while medicine lasted him
sea 'cely week. So he determined to
do nothing but live on his income and
be an honest man.
lie adopted certain rules by which
he lived, and he;could no more depart
from them than he could rise from the
earth and take a place among the
stars. He ate exactly so much, at
certain fixed hours, and of certain
kinds of food. He drank SO many
times day, of certain liquors he
fancled were good for him, measuring
the quantity with the accuracy and
precision of I'm apothecary; and so far
did he carry rule into life, that he
put on and off his clothing on certain
days in certain months, without refer
ence to weather. | saw him shiver-
ing one bright but very cold morning
in June, and demanded the reason.
II laid off my woolens this morn
ing said he.
why lay off your woolens in winter
weather." l asked.
THE LIST OF June is my day there
for" said he. ''The weather ought.
be warm to-day. l can not break my
rule"
He never neglected to pay debt,
and never told lie, not even a white
one He was cut out of an aunt's will by
responding to her anxious inquiry as to
how she looked in certain dress which
she had set her heart on by the simple
word "hideous." And the same devo-
ton to truth barred him, no matter
what path he took.
He was frightfully unpopular,
though, Notwithstanding he held a
high position among his fellows. His
child-like simplicity and sterling in
tegrity made him valuable, and be-
sides every one knew that his devo-
ton to truth was honest, and had moth
ing of bumptiousness or malice in it.
Mr.. Upandownjohn was a member Of
the Leviathan Club. write the WORD
was sadly, for he is Leviathan nc
more. The cause and manner Of hi:
leaving that delightful association o.
good men is the animus of this paper
The members of the Leviathan were
pleased with the appearance of Mr.. Up
andownjohn, and made much of him
Had they known him better the,
would have loved him less, for his pc
culiar virtue was never popular in tina
club.
He excited attention, first, by hi
habit Of correcting loose-talking mem
bers when their statements were high
ly favored with romances, as, for in
stance, when one gentleman asserte'
that his father owned Flora Temple
when she was colt using her as
common hack, and selling her finall,
for fifty dollars. Mr.. UpandownJohl
quietly put him down.
II knew your father" he said, IAN
a worthy, truthful man he was. ii
died just three years before Flora lem
pie was foaled. The mare he used 10
a hack and sold for fifty dollars mus
have been some other famous animal
Flora Temple will some day be tn
death of me. Every racing seaso
some one narrated the circumstance
his father having owned Flora Temp
and worked her as hack, aud VIVA
is more exasperating, he always sol
her for fifty dollars. Would that
could find one man whose father sol
her for sixty dollars or sixty-two DO
lars and fifty cents. You, my dea
sir, are the sixty-eighth man TN
season whose father once owned lof
Temple. She was the most EXTENSIVE
ly owned mare ever knew any thin
about
On another occasion a gentleman a
tailed with great minuteness now
doing the regular thing at Niagara
going under the sheet, the VIII
parted the torrent and he stepped OF
upon the shelf outside, when, TO n
horror. the opening closed. leavin
him outside the falling sheet on
narrow ledge of rock. With gre'
presence of mind he darted throus
the falling sheet and rejoined u
frightened party, who supposed NJ
lost forever.
Mr.. Upandownjohn took pencil a, =,
paper. and worked all night ano u
next day, without sleeping or ea''h.
The next evening he exhibited 10 :.
hero Of this marvellous adventure u
l
weight . the water in that Sheet -