The Opelousas courier., 1889-11-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Life insurance in some cases is merely
a matter of policy.
The Young man who is in love is con-
%spicuous for his courtly manner.
A hero is a man who ~refrains from eat
ing things that do not agree with him.
A man is not necessarily mean because
he will jump on a feather bed when it Is
down.
Some men are born rich, some achieve
riches and some get into fat government
Offices.
Goes without saying-The young man
too bashful to pop the question.-1ezas
Settings.
These times suit the scissors-grinder.
He likes to find things dull.-San Fran
cisco Aha.
The stamp-window of any postofice is
q sort % Lick Observation-Disclosures
Post Erpress. ....
A man is known by the company he
keeps. That's why she prefers to be a
sister to him.
Men will strike for shorter hours, but
the earth continues to revolveAt the same
old speed.-Judge. r.
Republics were ever ungrateful. We
put our great men on postage stamps, and
then punch their heads.
Because a bald-headed man doesn't
happen to keep a lock on his head doesn't
signify that there is nothing of value in it.
/ Cupid is doubtless known as the God
| of Love in this day because the sentiment
of love has become largely a sentiment
of cupldity.
Queen of Spain-''Good graciousl
The baby King has the stomach-ache."
Lord Chamberlain (excitedly)-''Call the
Secretary of the Interior"
THE sunset fingered DER your hair"
Was what her ardent lover said;
But other maidens young and fair
Said, Gracious, but her hair is red"
Washington Capital.
Fat Woman-"Oh, amt these mos
quitoes awful" Thin Woman-"They
never bite me-" Fat Woman-''Of
course not. They live on blood, not
bones."-On a Week.
Observation-Disclosures Photog-
rapher (about to remove the cap
"Look this way, please" sitter-"Not
much, I wouldn't look like that in a
picture for nothin' Light.
It is rumored that Queen Victoria
thinks of bestowing the Order of the
Bath on Thomas A. Edison. In order
to make him feel perfectly at home, she
will probably make it an electric bath
Perks San.
A Chicago bearded woman made a
Adug fortune out of the show business in
about twelve years, and now lives in
comfortable luxury with his handsome
wife and five beautiful children.-Bing.
hamton Republican.
I'm all broke up" he sadly sighed,
As he returned to town.
ga love AFFAIR." mo" he replied;
"a hammock let me down"
-Bdzdr.
Boston MAXWELL, my boy, how is
real estate in the West, active2" Drum
mer Gust back from Kansasl-"Active?
Well, I should say so. A cyclone car
ried a 150-acre farm forty miles the other
day. It's a little too active for me."-
ReaTney Enterprise.
A naughty little boy one day eluded
punishment by creeping under a table,
where his mother couR not reach him.
Shortly after his dSather came in, and
when told the staA of AFFAIRS sssaMlleas
his hands and kneesHseearch of his son
and heir, when to his astonishment, he
was greeted with this inquiry: rs she
after you, too, father?"
An Englishman has written a book,
entitled: "Two Thousand Miles on a
Camel's Back" We believe we can beat
that in this country in half the space.
Let some one come out with Zone Thou
sand Miles on a Fence Rail" There are
lots of people who have had the expert
ence, with tar and feathers thrown in
gratis.-DetToit Free Press.