New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-11-24
ENGLISH FIRES.
A PREJUDICE AGAINST PIPES.


London letter TO The Argonaut.
The worst Of these changes Is that English people
chatter and SILVER and sneeze ana DloW te'r MS
in determined sort Of way, as IL there was III ren'u'
WY don't you have fire" said I, one day, %
lady who was sitting with blue knuckleS IN ura"i"s
What p she cried, fire in september LIN ! never
heard Of such thing Fancy one cods Oh as cold as
On never begin fires TILL at the very least, the
end Of October she answered not tul November
~Tt r. Hnr question of dates said l. but one of
tenn eratute | should think"
Il wouldn't break through my rule for The wo G 20
she replied ms mother always ioao% wf be ar land
air of the regulation Primrose Dame; t tancy IRE
And so it is. think you will find with most Eng
lish people. They prefer 10 shake and culver win
cold sooner than begin fres' before the regular
Even then the fires do not do much good As
general thing, l do not suppose there are worse
Warmed houses in the wo. Id tnan English houses
except, perhaps the huts OF the ESqalmasu IN. AZ
English fire IS NOT intended TO warm the house OF
room in which it burns 1t is only meant TO sit at-a
sort of spot where you can warm yourself by drawing
YOUR chair up TO it. standing with your back TO
H. Whenever after sitting out IN the room away from
IT, you have got chilled through and through
IT'S unaccOuntable 10 me That you don't have your
houses warmed By hot-air hOt-water pipes heard
an American gentleman once say 10 me Ehglsh owier
at which he was staying on visit 1t would save
~ wouldn't have such thing in my house." replied
the Engisbman with a snort imagine the stuty
air, And fancy giving up ones fires ones cheerful
drepace OF winters night! The blazing logs are
VI" 70 look at said the American not to fecl. An
as as much RGr.h1i heat Twelve feet away from it,
But who wants 70 get twelve feet away frop II -
exclaimed the Englishman " no one Is such fool as
that, / should think. Draw your chair up to 1T a.
close as you like That's the way do in England
YOU going to de- All draw up to the fire. Take
I1retty biz fireplace should Judge You can't squeeze
yon consider the chairs Going to let she other eight
freeze before your face and eyes,"
The Engbhmar looked conered for moment.
"Whatl En- Oh'-and a smile Lit up his face as
happy Thought came 10 his rescue" first come first
better warm the whole room and give everybody
chance that's ms motto, then. Why. never saw
ANYTHING like IT. It's Just you say. The first
fellow who gets to the fire-men. generaly-form a
ring round it, one Or TWO are not 9 ALREADY tosStng
The other people cannot even see the fire. much less
= Why don't the other people look alive and take
possess on ," asked the Engllshman.
Then the others would have 10 freeze. II YOU had
HOT pipes all would be warm. and tn would be no
scramble - reach the fire, cursing and swearing
IIot ppes.' exclaimed the EuClshman again;
Just fancy the back-beetlcs They'd be all over the
The reaches are an aboninaton in English houses
that's fact. They couldn't be much worse than they
are. far as can Judge had two on my pillow
last nlgh-great big long fellows with felers IKE
bid ready to drop gently down as as blew ouo
thu candle. It wasn't hot pipes that brought them
i
uncomfortable said the Engllshman. stfiy. with
subducd hun in his voice
It. Down in Arizona I've had tarantula and a
couple Of scorpions in my BID 1t isn't likely "a be
these hot ppes. Try them. Your whole house will
have the same temperature. There will he no occAs
10 read the riot in front Of your hreplaces, and
cellarlike halls and passages 10 each cold I'm when
going from room to room, or up TO b%' LOOK ar IN ,
half the heat goes up the chimney. What waste :
sind m through pipes all over yonr house or nave
one fire 70 heat water If YOU like that better
a pretty penny It would cost putting In the pipes.
said the Engshman
"Th' saving in coal would pay for II in year.
Now. LET'S see taking out pencil and the envelope
of letter what's the price Of pipe per foot :"
The Englshman who mad about as much knowledge
of the price OF anything beyond horses and guns sS
Hindoo has OF Low Dutch said frankly. he didn't
know, but added: " daressy Robinson would know.
solicitor whose knowledge all subjects, TO Judge by
the diversity Of applications 10 him for advice, was
regarded unlimited.
Well. say lead pipe. thenl'
Can't tell you that. either"
ITum.' The American scratched his jaw With the
end of the pencil How much + rOal ton -
"Tn just ring the bell for Hopkins lie knows ]
haven't doubt Howeyer" ,toppnS Win his hand
dream of having hem. Won know
Just as you say. then and the American put the
pencil and paper back in his pocket with sigh; - IT
doesn't matter 10 me-
Now. II Is curious thing that, about six months
after this the Gns ba net So hS oG o had
air PIPES nut into the house at their expense and
without the knowledge of the owner. After then
| tenancy up and the Englishman back In pos
session again. was STAYING In the neighborhood. anc
one day went over 10 call.
80 you put them IN after ALL" said T. noticing
ouslooking grating in the wall OF the library
No, | didn't. I'm ashamed 70 say he replied
nut the g,ople Wno ma, nae, .he mouse dia' wa
ing the American gentleman. was quite right. anC
I've been thinking OF writing 10 him 70 tell him anG
sending him an apology for my rudcncsS.'
" Then you Ike them :"
" never knew what comfort was before