Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-04-28

littling everybody's arguments, and in con-
troverting everybody's views.
In one case we hear of, however, the
"autocrat" has been blocked in his little
game. So obnoxious had he become, and
especially in his animadversions upon
women, that bright little dame took itinto
her head to give him ''set down" in orig
inal style. She called parlor meeting and
unfolded her idea. As most of the boarders
had suffered from his sarcasm they fell into
the scheme with ardor. The plan was SIM
ply to ignore all Of his attempts at argu-
ment, all his filings at women, all of his
sarcastic remarks They were to be left TO
fall into dead silence. When he attacked
anyone, there was to be no reply, and the
subject was to be changed by some of the
conspirators Immediately. The plan, it is
said, has worked WE'LL The moment he pro-
jects an argumentative assertion into the
general talk, no reply is made, and the
weather, or the text, or some subject foreign
to his remark is brought into play. Any
failure to carry out this plan of squelching
an autocrat put fine of % cents into the
fund to buy euchre prizes. The poor fellow
having everything his own way, and no ex-
cuse for falling upon anybody with an
avalanche of words is profoundly puzzled,
and deeply disgusted at he knows not what.
GAY OLD MAIDS.
Independent old maids are all the fashion
and all pervading at the winter resorts.
How times have changed when women go
hundreds and thousands of miles away
from home without either chaperon or
champion, guardian or protector. They
go into the Offices of hotels and bargain for
rooms and bully the clerk, and get the best
the house affords, as we'll as any man, and
Il Il 4
aunts who failed of husband were content
to exist, as it were, on suferance. They did
the drudgery of the family, earned and
saved the money to send the boys to college,
nursed their brothers and sisters children
through the mumps and measles and whoop-
ing cough, and made themselves generally
useful, but received no salary and but
scant consideration. But the old girls now
get all of the fun there is going.
We have two in mind at present who
have been 'doing" the South all winter.
With plenty of cash and good clothes, they
have had gala time. Although neither of
them are young or handsome enough to be
attractive, yet they can command every
comfort and pleasure, and they glory in
their independence. Judging by them, it
would appear that old maids have the best
of it as far as good time in this world is
concerned.
Other notable figures at Southern winter
resorts are the men who have come down in
attendance upon sick wives. These form an
endless subject for talk upon the piazzas
among the workers on sofa pillows and
bureau scarfs and tray covers. He who is
attentive and devoted to his invalid COM
panion comes in for no end of praise and
appreciation, while he who more selfshly
considers his own pleasure and amusement,
gets pretty well scored all around.
SOME SERIOUS REFLECTIONS.
This type of man goes off on horseback
excursions with the girls gay as lark,
while she whom he has vowed to love and
cherish is left to the care of strangers and
servants. This adds to the grievousness of
being i'll, and gives little encouragement to
recovery, but then he says she is quite COM
Portable without him, and there is no sense
in HIS losing everything. Most women
would say that such man was not worth
having around, but still it is not conducive
to a calm and heavenly frame to have hus-
band outrage all of the proprieties by hirt-
ing and riding and driving with gay young
girls, regardless of Mrs. Grundy. But the
sisters have their eyes upon them, and that
there is a rod in pickle for both classes may
be safely assumed.
1n6 w ". L. " SlSteTS at bH6 QOCelS anu
cottages excite no little comment. Their
object in coming South is health, recovery
from nervous prostration, general debility,
weak lungs and other Affections sent by
heaven as trials of their faith; but, while
they talk of prohibition in the parlor and
wear their white ribbons on all occasions,
they yet have to take tonics and stimulants
and egg noggs and ''sich, " because the doc
tor prescribes them. 1t is amusing, not to
say amazing, to hear some of these good old
girls discourse upon the wickedness of fer
mented wine at the sacrament, the propriety
of teaching children through temperance
text books that wine and all liquors are
rank poison, and then contrast their theories
with their practice of following the apostles
teaching by taking a little wine for the
stomach's sake and a little whisky for the
restoration of their health. Itreminds one of
the story of Susan B. Anthony of her visit
to the editor of health journal. This
journal was devoted to the advocacy
of vegetable diet, and was virulently
opposed to the eating of flesh in any shape,
manner or form, as practice that was bar
barous, inhuman, and destructive of good
health. Every month the magazine teemed
with the horrors of flesh eating and the ioys
of vegetarianism-with the evils following
the drinking of tea and coffee and the ad-
vantages of natures beverage. When Susan
B. came down to breakfast, however, there
was the steaming fragrant coffee, and juicy
steak fresh from the gridiron. "Why, bless
my heart, how is thisp' she exclaimed; ''I
thought you people were devout and rigid
vegetarians, and ardent opponents of tea and
coffee" "Well, Susan, you see, we say
good deal more than we do, was the reply,
as this editor, who was the oracle of vegeta-
rianism, served out the steak and gravy.
The moral is plain.
REST IN A ROCKER.
In his book on Jonathan and His Con-
tinent," Max O'Rell describes how Ameri-
cans enjoy themselves at the winter resorts
in the South He tells somewhat derisively
of how they get up and breakfast and then
sit on rocking chairs on the piazzas and
wait for lunch time-then to rocking chairs
again, where they wait for dinner-after
dinner rocking chairs again until bedtime.
This is good deal the style of it in the
Southern resorts, but the rather dull
Frenchman seems to think they would be
better engaged in picnics, and excursions,
and fishing or going about, but if he had
known Americans better, he would know
that to many rocking chair on piazza
with the pleasures of fresh air, warm sun
shine, peaceful quiet and books and papers
is picnic enough. That to go helter-
skeltering over the country in pursuit of
pleasure and excitement is not the Ameri-
can idea OF rest. After the whirl, and ex-
citement and madding crowd of city life,
nothing for time is more restfully bIissful
under Southern suns than rocking chair
on piazza, where the gay and giedv world
n n hQ a e n q ran ms