Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1889-01-23
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Many Phases OF Editorial Life In the wild
and WO0!lY West.


Many Phases OF Editorial Life In the wild
and Woody West.
NEARING THE LIMIT. have been
repeatedly asked why we did not open
on tho G. & S. railroad for its slow
time, miserable old cars, rough road.
high rates and generally incompetent
service. 1t is because we have been
expecting an annual pass from the road.
! We applied for it three months ago,
but have heard nothing as yet. We
are nearing the limit. II that pass is
not here inside of 4 fortnight we shall
soand our bugle In manner to make
the officials of the road wish they had
never been born.
ONoT Our N1GHT.-Major Rathbone
made a personal assault on US last
Tuesday as we were about to enter the
Big Elephant saloon to interview the
Prosecuting Attorney in regard to the
Keller affair. We presume it was be-
cause the Kicker of last week referred
to the Major as a liar and an abscond-
er We presume it was, although he
made no explanation. A minute be-
fore he seized us we felt like fighting.
A minute afterwards we wore on the
run. There are times when we can
fight to tho death. and other times
when we can outrun any coyote in the
glorious West The Major happened
to get us on our off night, or he would
otherwise have been reduced to pulp.
There is a good deal of winking and
chuckling around town, but we don't
see any thing to laugh at. If we didn't
have our off-spells we'd be veritable
terror to: the whole district It's lucky
for Arizona that were born that way,
ONLY Our WAY.-We understand
that Colonel Colfax feels aggrieved be-
cause we referred to him last week as
dead-beat bum who ought to be given
Il dose of White Cap medicine. The
Colonel should not be so thin skinned.
It's only our way of keeping track of
the leaders of society.
A FALSE ALARM.-A Chicago Times
correspondent dropped in on us the
other day for a brief visit, and after
showing him our Washington hand
press, six varieties Of job type and two
whole bundles of print paper. we took
him out for a survey of the town. The
news had gone abroad that he was a
Chicago detective, and it was laugha-
BILE to note tho effect upon our lending
citizens. A dozen or more broke
for the sage-brush, without stop
ping for clean shirts, and so
many others cut off their whis-
kers or donned false ones that we
walked the whole length of Apache
avenue without meeting a man we
could recognize at first glance. While
there is nothing mean about US, this is
a feature we are going to work about
twice a month ON this town. 1t will
keep the boys unsettled and anxious,
and may be the means of converting
some of them from the error of their
ways. It's an awful good feeling to
feel that you are the only man in a
town OF 5000 people whose liver don't
kick the breath out of him every time
q stranger comes along and takes a
second look at the bridge of your nose.
We CONE Down. We stated our be-
lief last week that our contemporary,
which is eternally Dragging about its
increase of circulation, did not print
$50 copies weekly. We were honest in
what We said. The old, bristle-backed
hyena who claims to be editor and
publisher sent for US yesterday
to examine his books and figure up
his circulation. We made the as
founding discovery that he has bona
tide circulation of 16s copies. When
we are right we stick to the limbs at
all hazards. When we arc wrong we
let go and come down. We were
wrong in this case. We come down.
The Hoeoling Coyote and Weekly WISH
Wash will please accept our humble
apology.
A BASE FABRICATION. "A corre-
spOndent OF the Chicago Herald an
nounces that the editor and proprietor
of this paper recently won $4,000 at a
game of poker in well-known saloon
and that we play the best hand of any
man in the Territory. The article was
sent out with the design of injuring
us. In order not to seem q stranger
here we occasionally drop in on the
boys and play poker, and in order not
to appear to be a tenderfoot we have
occasionally raked in few dollars,
but no one must charge us with being
gambler. AS to the $4,000 business,
the most nervy man in town wouldn't
bet over 81. SO if he held four aces or q
straight flush.
DON'T FORGET TIN addition to
the grocery in our front room, which
is rapidly securing the cream of trade,
we have established a tin shop in the
rear Of the shanty and propose to do
all sorts Of repairing. Later on we
may add q harness shop and other
needed enterprises. II we build in the