The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1889-08-30
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

One reason why so many Amer.
leans return penniless from Europe is
because too much Hoyle Is cast upon
the waters. on City Blizzard.
Style" says "A writer on literary
topics, ''means every thing" "Yes, F"
said ellison, whose wife Is a deyOtee 70
fashion, lit means every thing a man 5
got. "-Washington Capital.
: When "A man makes up his mind
that he has got 10 economlze. his first
impulse always Is 20 begin by inquiring
into his wife's personal expenses. -
SOmcryiile Journal
There arc 50 many learned female
grad nowadays thrown upon So
ciety, there will be no need OF "A fellow
buying encyclopedias or dictionaries.
lie can marry one, all bound in silk. --
TX.
A number OF young women in
Cuthbort Ga, have organized an anti
kissing society. Those who have seen
tho members Say that such n precau-
tiDn was not necessary. -NOrristown
Herald.
Mr.. Jinks--I don'tknow how you
will feel about IL, sir, but the fact is
thatmy wife, your daughter, Is "A dread
fully hard woman 90 live with" Mr.
BIinks 81 can sympathizo with you,
sir. married her mother. IN. Y.
Wockly
The minister with severity
"And 50 you do not believe every thing
you learn at Sunday-school, Kichard?"
Richard NO, sir; not every thing
The ministor-"My little hoy does"
Richard yes. sir. Isuppose your lit
tie boy has 10. Life.
--Jinks al called at your boarding
house to-day and saw the table nearly
sct for dinner, and | must say things
looked very neat. / never saw whittier
tabe-coth in my life. Biaks-"No;
she doesn't make her tea, coffee or
soups strong enough TO STAIN
A woman, considered 10 be half
wittcd was being tcasod by her neigh
bors on being an old maid. "IIow is
it yc never got marricd?' asked one.
80, yo soo," sho replied, III | had
been as easily pleased wi n man as
your man s been wi IA wife, | micht
hac been marrit fifty times owre."
Farmer Greene (lron Way back)-
IL always was accounted remarkably
long-hcadcl in money matters. do you
notice It, profcssOr?' Phrcnologist
(who has had his pay in adyance)-
"No don't notice any such develop
mcnts, bat if your head only was as
long as it Is thick it would be daisy"
Time,
Mrs Walworthy - IL declare.
Henry yolr eternal talk, talk, talk Of
how gool "A cook your mother used TO
be will drive me wild some day! My
most frrycnt wish is that lilll. johnny
will neycr worry h.s wife that way
when ho grows up and has II home"
Mr.. Walworthy "Incra's no danger
Of that II rcrrc.s ll.e Express.
Mrs. Nibbs Jim shocked, Willie
Jono5. to hslr you use such awful lam
guago positively shocked. | think
It's high tima yolr mother to ph you in
hand" Wulio-"l cs m, she has. She
told me this morning | must stop 'soci-
atiug with your littlo boy, cause no
was y kim ma as bll as hisself. -
Philadelphia Record.
WHO CclIing from prpaD This
paper says thtt peanuts AFRO injurious
to tho voice. II rsblnd is that so?
never thought thtfc was so much
vituo i'm ponut | wonder what
they cost hunlralweight?' Wfo-
"'m sure don I know. Why?" Ilus-
band l was thinking Of laying in n
stock Of them ID you like peanuts,
my dcar?' Yankee Blade.
-"Say,' said "a stranger in the city,
"why are the b'r1s tolling, and tho
Gags ut half-mast, and what means this
procession Of about 10000 pcoplo"
"A funeral was tho laconic reply.
"Somc great man, s'pose "A famous
general, or some wealthy citizen who
gave several million dollars in char
itypn Mother. Only q poor man
who year aSo endcarcd himself to
all sensible people by killing an encore
fend at an opera pcrformanco.'-N
Y lGdvpr,