Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-10-17
THE REVISED SPELLER.
An Old Man, Rude Boy, and Their Two
Lawyers.

An old man found rude boy up
one of his apple trees and desired the
young marauder to come down, speak
ing to him with pleasant words, which
are sweeter also than the honeycomb.
81 prefer to remain in the band wa
gon," replied the boy, who held the
age. The old man then threatened
him with personal violence, but the
young scapegrace told him to go to
grass, as it was written in the spelling
book. ''Then," said the old man,
whose patience was soon gone, 81 will
visit you with the extreme penalty of
the law" Whereupon the saucebox
tauntingly told him to go ahead and
draw his bill, and he wonld soon see
how much meat there was on a wood
chuck in December. The old man
nothing 10th, at once engaged the
services of an able and learned law
yer, who was also jurist and was dis
tinguished in the columns of the local
press for his matchless forensic elo-
quence; while on his part the rude
boy, by pledging portion of the fruit
of the tree which he occupied, was
able TO secure for the defense pure
minded and honorable counselor, whose
fair fame as an attorney and spotless
reputation as a high-minded advocate
had never been called into question,
save by those who had dealings with
him. The old man, who was rightful
owner and was possessed of the tree
by descent, purchase, escheat, aliena-
ton, and forfeiture, had his claim
strengthened by his lawyer who put
in additional claims as riparian owner,
freeholder, tenant by courtesy, and
right of discovery. In re the defend
ant, the rude boy merely put in a claim
of naked possession and claimed title
by occupancy. The old man went for
him on writs of custer, trespass, waste,
and subtraction; to which the R. b.
replied by charging Insurance of ten
ure.
The case was called and put off, and
set down and adjourned: it was post
poned, decided, and carried up; it was
reversed and remanded; it was strick-
en- from the docket with leave to rein
state, and Withdrawn with leave to
amend; it was argued in chambers and
surcharged for rejoinder; and was
just on the point of being rebutted for
demurrer in trover with misprision
of alimony when the old man died,
without issue, leaving the rude boy in
possession. His own attorney, how
ever, requested him to come down; to
which the boy replied that he had
learned little law himself by this
time; whereupon his advocate, remind
ing him.th "a little learning was a
dangerous thing" took large-sized
rock of irregular shape from his pocket
knocked the boy clear out of the
orchard at the first shot, and assumed
possession by villainage. my name
is Dennis" cried the dying boy, "but
l wonder why the old man didn't do
thatp" Because" replied the high
minded advocate, she had chump of
lawyer who didn't know how to play
the winning cards when he held them. :"
So saying he took off all his clients
clothes, examined his teeth TO see if
they were filled, andi sold the cadaver
to medical student, with the right of
reversion of the bones to himself after
the student got through with them.
Thus do we see that it lis easy enough
to make an honest living at the prac-
tice of the theory of law if you only
know how toput the kink in the lariat
-Burdette in Brookty Eagle.