Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1889-08-24
A TEACHERS EXPERIENCE.
MORE SATIRE AND KEEN III NOR FROM THE
ANONYMOUS MHOOLNlSTRES.
Decoration on Mathematical Prlnc1-
plcs-A strange Examination.

On the Sth instant the INTELLIeISCER
republished from the New York Evcnng
| Post an article by George II. Nandalear,
relating the experience of young woman
Of refinement, daughter of Philadelphia
| clergyman, who came To Lancaster county
| To teach school on the death Of her father.
| The following is the second paper:
"Ieke Hogengantz lives here" said the
| driver, as he assisted me from the stage
| and handed down my baggage. He's
| allus willin' to take boarders Whoa,
| there! Hold them hosscs, sonny, till lug
| this ERE lady's traps in on TO the porch"
! 1t was plain two-story frame house, set
! back from the road in yard filled with
| beds of gaudy flowers. These were laid out
| upon strict mathematical plan, their con
| triver having "A careful eve to geometrcal
effect. A border of wbitewashed clam.
shells, laid side by side with military
| precision, set of the dazzling red and yell
| low of the flowers. A glance at them was
like gazing for an instant full into the blaz-
| ing face of the midday sun. The driver
knocked at the door, and man in his shirt
sleeves answered the summons. II was
Mr.. Ieke himself ] looked up into his
face as | answered his salutations, but
could see nothing save red and yellow
flowers and whitowashed clam shells. ]
returned the drivers CHEEKY Good by"
and his face reelected the same image.
Mr.. Ieke tior II was some time before |
could learn his last name let me into n
darkened room, musty and damp.
Now, eff you'll jest set down here
awhile, I'll call the ole woman and hey yer
things fetched into the house. " Aided by
CLEAN Of light from the half-closed shut
ters, j found II seat, but could see nothing
except the glare of red, yellow, and white
in squares and right-angled trianges. As
| this waking nightmare faded slowly from
my vision, ! became aware that I was
seated upon an oldIashioned horse hair
sofa in what was evidently the /" best
room. " | discerncd in all its appoint
ments, az my sight grew clearer, the hand
of the same mathematical genius whose
work in the front yard had proven SO das-
zling. The chairs all stood with their stiff
looking upright backs squarely against
the walls, the same number facing each
other auT tho four sides ofthe room. Pho
tographs Ia marrow oval frames--six or
eight altogether formed another oval ali
equidistant from the largest, which occu-
pied the dead centre not only of this
group but of tho wall from which it de-
pended. The books upon the square
walnut table, which stood in the exact
middle of the floor, were arranged in little
, | piles in the same rigid order. ! could see
now well enough to note among them the
family Bible-ornanental, perhaps, but
certainly not useful in any other manner,
for, as learned afterwards, it was never
opened-Bunyan's Pilgrims Progress, ;
Fox's Book of Martyrs, Wesley's--but
here was Mrs. Zeke.
, Good-mornin,, she said. Come to
! apply for the vaGancysl ispose, and want
dinner, most likely' Three dollars an a
half week, includin' eyerythiug-dirt
, | cheap, amt ?--'less YOU ro TO board round,
, then the directors pays. But you won't
be settled till they meets, which is Satur-
day mornin's, stiii. Well, Jess come out
an have bite odinner awhile. The men
folks hev eat already, an Eve jess red VI
, | the table,
1t may be well to explain that 'ain't 20
, means sis notYn and that ''still," at the end
Of sentence, signifies casually" or "gen-
' orally.n
! Mrs. Zekc was a bright neat looking
! little woman, in plain, drab -colored dress
/ | white cap and apron. | ftncied at once
that she had sharp tongue rs well as an
active one, and II was not long before this
Impression was confirmed. | followed
her TO The dining-room and saw half un-
, consciously the bare, uncarpeted floor and
whitewashed walls, and out of the win.
dows, II great number of crooks and bright
tin buckets and pans hanging from th,
garden ionce. Everything was as iresl
| and clean as possible, and the dinner wa,
| good indeed. What struck me as peculiar
about it--a characteristic of the country
was the large quantity Of every kind o
substantial foods and the great number o.
little dishes with which the cloth was
, spotted These contained apple butter
r peach butter, iellies and preserves OF va
rious kinds, TO which the natives give the
| general name of sass"
After dinner was shown to INV room
. bare and uncarpoted, like nll the house
! eNcept the rarely used parlor. How cold
| and forhidding ii all scemcd--how very
| different from my old room at home!
God bless the man who first invented
, sleep said honest Sancho, and so say
for, tired out after my long ride, slept
soundly until nearly time for supper.
THE SCHOOL, HOARD.
The next day / went before the board,
which met at house not far from Mr..
Ieke's. When ushered into the presence
3 | of this august body, | was taken aback nj
p the sight OF some half dozen men, all Of
\ whom except one were attired in the
, Tunker, or Amish, costume; broad
bTimmed hats, which they did not remove
at my entrance, much to my indignation
J thick hair, reaching To their eyebrows in
= front and To their shoulders behind and
strange looking little capes covering their
4 | shoulders and fastened at the neck with
hooks ana eyes. They all stared at me as
cattle might stare at something new and
strange-all except one. But the peculiar
a | appearance of the others so attracted me
5 that | scarcely noticed this latter member,
60 who, although attircd in "A plain Quak eT
y fashion, wore neither cape, hat nor long
, hair. II seemed that the vacancy had moi
. been advertised, and rs ] was the only
l applicant, my examination began at once
y
Q | ob-d-utlc p, lall the while.D
o | This was the first question. Ii was pro
T pounded by, an old gentleman who was
. evidently the president of the board. Alas
o l had no experience, SO, in reply, told my
j simple story as well as l could.
some conversation in Dutch " followed
and few unimportant questions.
b What vas your persuasion, Ob-d-UitcF''
e hesltated, not sure what the speak eI
meant.
"HOur church." whispered the young
q man in the Quaker grab
. How II happened shall never be able tc
tell, but the question seemed TO me, under
5 the circumstances, to be so very absurd.
= that was filled with spirit of mischief
I "Oh," | said 81 am an Agnostic."
o know there must have been a twink ID
, of fun in my eyes, which | could not re,
|, press as | saw the puzzled look in the face.
! of the members of the Sandersyillc board
G of public education. l felt somewhat
0 startled, however, when | saw this twink Il
n reflected in the face of the Youngest mem,
berthe gentleman in the Quaker garb. A.
!, my face paled at this discovery, his grew
red with suppressed laughter. | was ,oHly
!, half reassured when he nodded to me, as Il
D seemed, TO 90 on and certainly, TO 90 on
: was the only thing I.could do now for
was in too deeply 10 turn back.
A " lIdSS is Is :" asked one of the puzzled
: members.
"Vhat is desc Ag-nose-tig? ?" translated
the old president, in the best English ht
1 could muster.
: IAN Agnostie," / answered, sis one