Morning journal and courier., 1889-10-21
DIFFERENT.

A little girl explained that the difference
between a lady and gentleman on horseback
is that gentleman occupies both sides at
once.-Bingharnton Herald.
Mrs. 9rubb-"Have ye any more sugar
like the last ye sent met" Grocer (briskly)-
you wants" Mrs. Grubb-"None." New
York Weekly.
s'Now, really, what was the most astonish-
ing thing you saw in Paris, Mr.. Spieer"
asked Mr.. Gusher, and without a moments
hesitation Seth answered, "My hotel bill"
Boston Bulletin.
"Oh, dear me, said the aniable citizen,
ST was not half so much put out with them
for asking me for $50 to entertain the PAM
Americans with az am with myself for not
having it."-Buffalo Express.
The woman who declares she wouldn't
marry the best man on earth often picks out
one of the worst onss.-Terre Haute Ex-
press. Well, what's the matter with thata
She ia consistent, isn't she!-Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph.
"Well, can't see any fun in attendin'
court" said one observant old lady. "Every
time witness goes to tell anything that's got
anything to do with the case, all the lawyers
Jump up and holler, and the iedge rules the
testimony out. PUCK.
Very Likely: Johnny-sT wonder why I
can't make my kite Ayr Elder Sistsr-"Per-
haps the caudal appendage is disproportion-
ate to the superficial area" 81 don't think
that's it. believe there isn't weight enough
on the tail. ."-Texas Siftings.
Here is something "a hint, in fact) for the
piano men.-Triton (at home on a visit)-
| "Well, father, what is the newss Neptune
of the fishes have struck for the adoption of
q uniform scale. ."-Musical Courier.
"You see I have some reputation as a
painter. Even the bank director Kripfer has
ordered his portrait from me-" ''Sly old
fellowl When he runs away and they send
out his likeness from your picture, he knows
he will be perfectly safe."-Fliegende Blat-
| ter.
Poor Author-And Is this all am to have
| from the sale of my booki Wealthy pub
lisher-That is the regular percentage. sir.
What more do you wantf "Um-well, I'd
| like the loan of your turnout and coaehman
for an hour of So" "Humph, Where dc
you want to be takeni' ITO the peorhouse. u
New York Weekly.
| A sarcastic lawyer, during the trial of q
case, made use of the expression, "Cast moi
your pearls before swine." Subsequently, as
he rose to make the argument, the judge
facstiously remarked, "Be careful, Mr.. S.,
not to cast your pearls before swine.
| "Don't be alarmed, your honor, am abou'
to address the jury, not the eourt."-Irist
| Times.
| Ten years ago, while passing through
Stratford- on-Avon, Mr.. Toole, the English
comedian, saw q rustic sitting on fence
"That's Shakspeare's house, isn's ita" h
asked, pointing to the building. eyes. II
"Ever been therer' "No." "How long ha'
he been dead" "Don't know" "Brough,
up heres" eyes" "Did he write anything
like the family Herald, or anything of tha
sorts' "Oh, yes, he writ" "What was its'
"well," said the rustic, "I think he wrot'
for the Bibls."- Stage.
A Sure Cure.-Lsdy visitor Cat Office o
emigration physician)-"T have called, doc
tor, to ask If there is any cure for sleep
walking. have had the habit for years, ant
lately 1t has become worse" DR.. Highpric
-"It can be cured, madam. Take this pre-
scription and have 1t filled at Colde, Steele
Co.'S" "Colde, Steele Il Co.'s. Why, tha
is not . drug store. 1t is hardware firm.
eyes, madam. The prescription calls for
paper of taoks. Dose, two tablespoonful
scattered about the floor before retiring."-
New York Weekly.