The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1889-06-15
PUNc ENT PARAGRAPHS.


-.sWho are the fools Of the human
racer" This is an easy one. II the
query were, Who are the wiser ~
would be poser.-Boston Courier.
-Soarandfop (grandiloquentiy) :
ayes; it pays to do right. Honesty Is
the best policy after ALL" FranKley
..why don't you have it rcneweds-
Time.
The drama is getting more ana
more realistic. Real babies, real water,
real burglars. are among the advertiser
realities. We have hopes OF future
play with real actors. = baitimore
American.
-.sWhat is the future of 1reland!'
exclaimed the Senator, in earnest tones.
.Ireland." said the new school ma
calmly, has no future; it is a noun.
Burdette.
AS the warmer weather comes on.
metals begin to expand. A ten-doiiar
gold piece reaches great deal further
when the gas-man and the goldman
have relaxed their grip. Puck.
-Clementine-"If had known you
married me only for my money would
never have accepted YOU" Montague
-s.And If I'd known you were going to
be so close with it would never have
proposed. Life.
Miss Backbitc (wbo has been dis
cussing several of her friends mis-
deeds)-"Now, you know, l never re-
peat scandals Mrs. Candor =
mo, my dear, I've heard you invent
them" Press.
Picture Dealer exhibiting paint
ing)-"That, sir, is genuine Turner"
Purchaser-"Yes, see. You have to
turn it around good many times be-
fore you can make out what it is
America.
old Lady-ssMy dear, doyoureally
think you are fit to become minister's
wifep" Engaged Niece (from the
West)-"Yes. indeed. l don't mind
being talked about at all. IN. Y.
Weekly.
Father well, how did you come
out on the bean-guessing contest?"
Dull boy--''I guessed there was $50
beans in the jar, and there was 9,200.''
Father (sadly)-"Pm afraid you'll
never be fit for any thing but weather
bureau Chief philadelphia Record.
"A warning: Jay Gould will pass
through Tor go through) the city at
two o'clock this afternoon, en- route to
the Southwest. If the citizens will OK
hibit little activity. perhaps they can
get the town nailed down before Mr..
Gould arrives. -Terre Haute Express.
Husband ..Well. love, have you
some cold chicken for supper. as you
promisedP" Newly-made bride .Yes.
darling; I bought a beautiful live
chicken, and it has been yelling in the
refrigerator for more than two hours.
! think it must be cold by this time"
Lowell Citizen.
Yes" said Dumley. proudly. 81
was soldier in the war of the rebellion,
and II / do say it myself, l made good
one" The thrill OF admiration which
was about to start through the party
was suddenly stopped by Featherly,
who said musingly: ''Let me see,
Dumley, it was in "a. wasn't it, that
you were drafted?' Epoch.
Jones Ito Brown who had just
dropped in to borrow fiver)-"Well.
I'll do it this time. but wonder YOU
are ashamed to be always in debt.
Look at me. don't owe a penny"
Brown--'.Dare say not, old man. You
haven't borrowing face. Nobody
would trust you. Pick Me Up.
81 remember riding home in a
horse-car with Henry w. Paine one
day." remarked story-teller, apropos
of this eminent Maine jurist. Paine
was reading sheepskin-b bound volume
OF law reports. A mutual acquaintance
hailed him and said: See here, Paine.
do you have to study law still?' This
isn't law said Paine, it's only a COL
lection Of decisions OF the Massacbu-
sets Supreme Court. ~ Lewiston