The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1889-09-12
AFAcTwoRTH KNOWING.

AFACT WORTH KNOWING.
A ct. package of Z0MONIA contains ounces
OF Soap and pint Of Ammonia, in powdered form.
1t makes hard water and the hands soft, washing
easy, and clothes snow white. Cleans Paint,
Glass and Marble, and washes dishes to perfec-
ton. Just the thing for washing Sinks. Bath
Tubs, etc. 1t works like a charm in the Bath,
leaving the skin soft and smooth. By it use Tea,
Coffee and Fruit Stains disappear as If by magic:
The ammonia ia Zomonia makes it superior to
all ecasli,g powders.
Infant Physics.
Mother-what have you done with your new
gun9
Jack-Frowed it down de we'll.
Mother-And how do you ever expect to get it
Jack-Oh, when de world turns over tomorrow
t Will drop out.-Harper's Young People.
When Baby was sick, we gave her Castofii,
When she was Child, she cried for Castoris,
When she became Miss. she chung to Castoria
When she had Children she gave them Castoiis
Jack--sheis engaged to Hon. Fitzwarren, isn't
she?
EtheI-Yest and what do you think ought TO be
done to a girl who entraps a miserable little
puppy not old enough TO know his own mind?
fack-It sounds as If she ought to be charged
a mans wife should always be the
same, especially to. her husband, but IL she is
weak and nervous, and uses Carter's Iron Pills,
she cannot be, for they make her "feel like
different person." so they all say, and their hus
bands say so tool
Rev. Mr.. Pullover calling at parishioner's
house)-And now, my little man, suppose you
can recite me some scriptural quotation. Do you
remember that verse about returning good for
evil?
Tommy (his mammals ioy)-Suerl If Teller
hits YOU on de left cheek, give him a cross coun-
ter.-Lawrence American.
Fifteen contestants clad for the fray,
Armed with good steel and in battle array
Striving for lucre, as brave knights Of old
Stroye for their honors and medals of gold.
Driving each shining pen over the paper
Seeking to sound, as the most proper caper,
The praises OF remedies known the world over
From Paris to Calais, from Calais to Dover;
But each knight vaiuly strfyes-language fails III
description
OF the manifold virtues of "Fayorite Prescrip-
Con."
When i'll or depressed with that dragging
down feeling, consequent upon weakness, suffer
ing from headache, weak or lame back and the
many Ills common to the weaker SEX take Dr.
Pierce's Prescription which is guaranteed to give
satisfaction or price (S1.O0) returned. See
printed guarantee on bottle-wrapper.
DR.. Pierce's Pellets-gently laxative or actively
cathartic according to dose. % cents
Squire Dunlap-See that rock over there9
The girls Yes,
Squire Dunlap-Well, right under its shadow,
TWENTY-FIVE years ago, asked your mother to
The girls carried away with curiosity)-what
was her answer?-Jndge.
Very Risky Indeed.
To tamper with symptoms indicative Of growing
kidney disorder; to neglect for a brief time need
full stimulation Of the renal organs when their in
activity points, as it always and Enthusiastically
does, to their eventual permanent disease, Is GER
tanly very risky indeed. This is, however, a risk
Brights disease, Diabetes catarrh Of the bladder,
&C., constantly incur. SO those who read, reflect
advisabiiity Of using Hostetter's Stomach Bitters
as diurenc. need scarcely more than sueges-
9 @STe d @ ee an rs ~
for the prevention OF serious renal disease. The
unmedcated excitants of commerce. no matter
how pnre, bear in mind react preludically upon
the kidneys when inactive. The Bitters subdues
malaria, constipation and rheumatism.
Miss Saratoga Geyser-Is Mr.. o. Shaw arela-
Miss Wauka shaw-oh, yes, he's distant rela-
tive.
Miss Saratoga Geyser-How distant?
Miss Shaw-Hes my brother; but he's the
youngest of nine children, and I'm the eldest
Chicago Herald.
A woman who s weak, nervous and
sleepless, and who has cold hands and feet car-
not feel and act like well person. Carriers Iron
Pills equalize the circulation, remove nervous
ness and give strength and rest.
An Effective Threat
New Yorker-No, sir. have no money for
you.
Dirty Tramp-well, there's nothing fer me ter
do but drown myself.
New Y0rker-I can't help that.
vOr?
New Yorker-Here. Take this dollar and live.
Life.
The traveller through rural Maine must
have noticed in front of many houses in
sparsely settled towns small boxes set on
posts. He will learn that these are private
post offices: The stage driver gets a small
yearly lee for taking mail from the regular
post oiilces and delivering it at these boxes.
VI course the boxes can be located only on
stage lines. The Rockland Courier Gazette
suggests tnat instead of half a dozen post
of1lces IN scantily peopled town of large
territory, the government take pains to To-
cate every rural office at such points that