The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-12-07
MRS. CACKLE'S CARPET.
The Story of a Wedding Iresent
Which Decidedly Missed Fire.

mo-, BfuSSclS! lne cneapeS Jnllg you
have in Brussels that isany way decent"
Mrs. Cackle sat up on the eighth floor
of NEEDLE & Minturn's great store, her
silken flounces ripping around her ample
form, the bird of paradise plume on her
hat nodding, as If to give extra signifi-
canoe to every word she spoke. Her tan
kid gloves, glistening with many buttons,
were distended with rings; her lace scarf
was fastened with a gaudy diamond set
bar, and her plump visage bore the traces
of pearl powder and cream of roses, laid
on with no sparing hand.
Beside her sat her dear particular
friend, Miss Rosina Rufford, who always
played the part of Damon to her Pythias,
and invariably went shopping with her.
You see, Rosina,' said Mrs. Cackle,
who was one of the kind that talk very
loud in public places, and indulge in all
sorts of details, sits for a wedding pres
ent. Lemuel gave me a check for a hun
dred dollars, and told me to buy a nice
parlor carpet for his cousin, who is to be
married next MONTH
Mr.. Cackle is always so generous"
smiled Miss Rufford, whose new set of
false teeth made her smiles very smiling
indeed. ga hundred dollars, did you
say, dear? That will buy a very nice
one, indeedi"
ut would" said Mrs. Cackle, s'if I
was goose enough to buy it. But / don't
mean to. Cackle's only a man, and men
never do understand things. What do
these out of the wilderness people under
stand about carpets? And what do they
want of the best grade? No, young man,
l don't want any of the dollar and a
quarter lines. That's too high. Haven't
you anything for about a dollar, or nine
ty centss 1t needn't be the very finest
quality, I tell you. II I spend fifty dol
lars on it" turning once more to Miss
Rufford, It'll be all that is necessary,
and the extra sum I'll invest in a new
satin gown for myself. Ha, ha, ha!
Cackle is SO very close with his check
book, that now and then | have to cir
cumyent him."
'You are SO witty, dear" Uttered Miss
Rufford.
''Nothing under a dollar and twelve
cents?" shrilly repeated Mrs. Cackle, IS
the salesman came back again. II
couldn't think of paying that. Have
you no unstable patterns-nothing that
nobody else viii buy? The people that |
want this carpet for are dreadfully old
fashioned, and never will know the diff
ference"
"Oh, my dear, you are too funnyw
said Miss Rufford, behind her fan.
I'VE have one" hesitated the young
clerk-"a scarlet ground, with immense
olive-green %pineapples all over it. We
haven't sold a yard off it. Everybody
seems afraid of it, and / don't really
thing
"Let me see it," said Mrs. Cackle,
promptly.
The porter presently wheeled up a
mammoth roll on. a hand barrow; the
clerk unfolded its hideous, glazing pro-
portions where, against a scarlet ground,
some monster vegetable entwined itself
among impossible scrolls.
"You see, ma'am, its quite unstable"
said the clerk. ''Mr. NEEDLE was talk
ing of donating it to the reception room
OF the Blink and DOODLE Orphan asylum,
att
'EIt is a little peculiar" said Mrs.
Cackle, cycling it through her ~lorgnette.
.'Quite-ahem.-what l should call an
art carpet"
"Oh, my dear Louisar' giggled Miss
Rufford.
"But very striking" said Mrs. Cackle,
''Quite SO, ma'am," said the clerk,
coughing spasmodically behind his
pocket handkerchief.
What will you let me have it for?'
said Mrs. Cackle, in a business like way.
Eighty cents, ma'am," said the clerk.
ssSay seventy-fve, spoke the customer.
"We couldn't, indeed, maam. 1t cost
us more than that to import it,
"Ilr take thirty yards" said Mrs.
Cackle. ssLet me see' Calculating on the
fat tan colored fingers where the rings
bulged out SO obtrusively), ''naught's
a naught, eight times naughts-that
will come to twenty-four dollars, won't
it, young mani"
''Twenty-four dollars, ma'am!" said
the clerk, scarcely able to repress his
amaEement that any one in their senses
should buy SO ugly a carpet.
"And that will leave seventy-six out
of tie check said Mrs. Cackle, glee-
fully. ''I1l tell you what, Rosina-Ican
trim the black satin with the very incest
Escurial lace. Isuppose these back
try barbarians will invite me to the we'd
ding, and I'd like to wear something that
will just paralyze them! And my hus-
band will never be any the wiser. Do
you look, Rosina!" nudging her compan-
ion. "What a beautiful moquette that
tall young lady in the black silk suit is
choosingi I've got to have something
new in my reception room next year. |
wish / could Afford
1.-THE address, ma'anl, pleasei' said the
clerk, pencil and pad in hand.
Mrs. Cackle hesitated.
"Well, | don't know" said she. 81
suppose it had better be sent at once,
with our card, to the bride, Give me the
paper, young man, if you please. I'll
write it down, so that there can't pos
sibly be any mistake.
II tell you, Rosina," she added, as she
sat in the elevator, being lowered down
to the level of the surface world, II wish
/ knew who that elegant young lady was
who was looking at the white-and-pearl
moquette carpet! Id like to ask her for
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