The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-07
BRIGHT BITS.


The MAN who said he would rather make the
songs than the laws of a country had his eye on
tbs lay OF the land.-Ptlck.
THE fine Italian hand, so much discussed,
is most frequently visible in connection with the
barrel organ-W Washington Capital
You say that drinking is one of your hus-
bands failingsY"
"Failings? o, no. 1t is one of his successes"
Life.
Mrs. TATHILL-I saw your wife out riding with
another man this afternoon.
Mr.. Tubbs (excitedly)-You didf Did they
have my horse?-Life.
SERvANT-Will madam speak little lowers
Mistress-What is the matter? Have any of
the children taken sick?
Servant-No, ma am; but this Is the hour for
fido's afternoon nap--Jitdge.
A SUSPICIOUS LATE CoMER.-The Deacon
That man at the rear of the church just sent
word that he'd like to contribute.
The Pastor-Who Is he?
The Observation-Disclosures. the button manu-
facturer of Philadel-
The Pastor-Shut the box.-JlLdoe.
SURE REMEDY. -A.-You say you are suffer-
ing from insomnia?
B.-Yes, and there seems to be nothing that
will put me to sleep. have tried every opiate
known to the medical profession.
A.-Well, why don't you have Mayor Grant
put you on the worlds fair committee.-Judge.
Col NEwcoMB-Good morning, Uncle Jonas
Busy. seer
Uncle Jonas-Yes, sab. Use ixin' up de
chapel neah your house. sab. Wes gwine ter
hab revival meetin's next week.
An, indeed; glad to hear that there is an
awakening among your people. That reminds
me, Uncle, want you to fix new lock on my
chicken house some time this week '-Terds
SJtings
THE DEADLY FREIGHT CAR-New York Judge
Prisoner. you are found guilty of murder in
the first degree. Have you anything to offer to
the court before sentence is passed upon you?
PRISONER have, your honor / object to
being executed By electricity on account of the
uncertaintg of its ability to destroy human life
with dispatch
New York Judge-Then I sentence you to
work for the Delay, Linger and Wait Railroad
Company, as freight brake nan until You are
dead; and may God have mercy on your SOUL
Time.
AN EvENER. -Salesman-Wel watcher want
Customer want to buy hat.
:, Salesman-Why didn't yer say so? Move
lively now. This amt no morgue!
Customer don't like to be spoken to like
that.
Salesman-Yer don't? Well, watcher stop.
pin the wheels + trade fer? Did yer ever see a
real hat?
Customer-That's enough Good day.
Salesman-Just wait a moment, sir. l recog-
nze you as the ticket seller at the Imperial Gem
tral station. tried to buy ticket OF you yes
terday, and I've. just endeavored to give you an
imitation OF the way you treated me. What s
the size, -Pttck.
= MANY OF our subscribers are asking why The
Kicker has nothing to say in favor of either of
the ocal tickets in the field. There are two
reasons: First, because we we're not nominated
on either ticket, and secondly, because bigger
gang of rascals were never up for Office We
wanted to run for mayor. 1t is no use being
mod EST about such things. We are better fitted
for the position than any other man in town
The Office should have been glad to seek u.s. 1t
didn't do so, and so we sought it. We should
have filled the position with credit to all. but
the gangs wanted a tool and so they they nomi-
mated doc" Burrows and Hank" Jones to
head the two tickets. Neither of these men
will serve. Within one month we will have both
of them back at Joliet to serve out their I'M
expired sentences.--Arizond Kicker.