The Southern herald., 1889-03-23
PEA-GREEN WHISPERS.
Bob Boughters Experience With q
Chemical Comb.

If Bob Boughter, Of the South side,
was proud OF one possession above all
others it was in the ownership Of a
luxuriant brown beard and heavy mus
tache. The latter completely con-
cealed his mouth, and would have hid
den his chin had The whiskers been
absent. Regarding with pain the ap-
pearance Of grayish streaks in his
glorious hirsute growth he eagerly
purchased OF peripatetic vendor q
magical comb, after the fellow as
sured him that it would give gloss to
every hair and bring the gray to the
same lovely brown as the remainder.
Elated over his purchase, he could not
wait for his return home in order 10
use it, but retiring to his private Office
he closed the door and assiduously ran
the dark teeth OF the comb through
his beard and mustache. In. the alb
sence of mirror he deemed it best to
protract the operation lest some single
strand might escape its sweet infu-
ences.
When he had done he felt 1t to be
his first duty to proceed to his home,
that his beloved wife might rejoice
with him in his treasure; for she, too,
was proud of those whiskers. Indeed
she had never seen him without them,
they having been foot or more long
at their marriage seven years before,
Passing out Of the store, he saw one
OF his clerks regard him comically for
q moment and then turn away with a
smile upon his face. ''Drat the fell
lows impudence, what is he smiling
atP I've suspected for some time that
he drank. I'll look into HIS case to-
morrow" Scarcely had he got upon
the sidewalk when sweet-faced
young lady came up to him, and
she smiled broadly. 1t was about
$3.50 o'clock and pedestrians were not
as many as at an earlier or later hour;
still he passed several, every one Of
whom laughed as he or she passed
him. Presently the matter became
annoying to him, and when q couple
OF young ladies laughed merrily imme-
diately after passing, and he, turning
around, caught their eyes turned
about to get another view Of him he
was downright mad. just then 9
roughly-clad fellow with very dirty
face stopped suddenly in front OF him,
raised his hands aloft and bringing
them down with a prodigious slaI
upon his legs laughed immoderately.
"You sooty-faced IDIOT" cried
Boughter, in a rage, seizing the mar
by the shoulders and shaking hin
vigorously, what are You laughing
atp am not the missing link, nor an
| / John L. Sullivan. Tell me what yot
are laughing at or I'll shake the life
out of you"
"He, he, he" the fellow continued
to laugh. '.i-i-just ego d-d-down ii
t-that b-b-barber shop m f-f-6nd ou
fer yerself.
Releasing the man. whose hilariou!
voice followed him. Boughter rushed
down the steps leading into the plac'
| indicated, where he was a regulai
customer He was greeted with |
| regular roar that did not contribute I,
his peace Of mind. One Of the barberl
was so suddenly convulsed that h
nipped the end Of the nose Of q patron
whose quick-rising wrath was changes
also into merrIment as his eye fel
Bob, and his laugh was louder thai
any OF the rest as he mopped the bloo'
from his nasal organ and the tear
from his eyes.
just then Boughter caught glimps
Of himself in a mirror, and he nearl,
sank to tho floor II a mixture o
shame. confusion and lllimitable wrath
The vilIainous comb had positivel
changed bis beard TO ! decided green
Donine Bis coat and vest and divest
ling himself Of his collar and orayal
IN faint |ehes he urged bis barber ;
wash away the vile dye That worth,
eyed Ghe htnf1 long and PERSISTENT
vita as STRAIGHT lace a6 be coul