The Washington critic., 1889-03-05
MATTER WORTH READING.


bequeathed the real estate that he has In
herited. The document was found, dated
in 1888, written by scribe who had also
signed her name, under which was circle
like the letter o, bearing the legend ''Her
Mark" The Knickerbocker's stride was
less majestic as he hastily turned his back
on this flaw in the family escutcheon.
The Latest Sea Serpent.
Nova Scotia papers are printing the story
of Robert Clubhouse Of Tiverton, who
claims that early this month he had an en-
counter with sea serpent while out In
boat with his son. He says on object OF
enormous size appeared alongside and at
tackled the boat. He struck II with his
boathook, catching It about eight feet from
the tail. The length was something like
thirty feet. A desperate battle ensued,
which lasted nearly an hour, and ended In
the monster regaining its freedom. The
creature was eighteen inches in diameter,
It's color dingy blue; It's head was as round
as globe; mouth nearly in tine centre, and
when open 1t revealed large tooth about
two inches long on each side. Along the
front jaw was arrow OF teeth in each jaw
nearly an inch long. The color Of the
inside OF the mouth was like the brightest
chrome yellow. 2
A Warming to Girls. aH
az read" said bright young married
woman, "that there is now a way OF remov-
ing hairs from woman's lip by the use OF
electricity. That is not new, and want to
sound note Of warning to any woman who
may be tempted to use II. have very
dear friend who was classmate OF mine in
college. She was a real pretty girl, but she
was greatly annoyed at the fact that a few
hairs were growing on her chin and upper
lip. They yfeally did not look bad, more
like the down on beautiful peach than
anything else, but they were eyesores to
her. She tried everything to get rid Of them,
and finally was persuaded to try electricity.
An experienced physician performed the
operation, and left her face as smooth as
billiard ball.
"Six weeks later the hairs returned,
greatly increased in size and several shades
darker. This time they really did look bad,
and the poor girl was almost Wild She has
never been able TO do anything with them
since, and unless she clips them every
day-a very tiresome operation--her face
looks as though she was really growing a
beard. The best way for woman is to
leave erface alone. She only spoils 1t by
tamperiDg n-The Hairdrcsser.
why She Failed.
A lady not long since succeeded in gain
ing entrance to the monastery of the monks
Of Chartreuse, dressed in mems clothing,
along with her husband, and was shown
all over the place by one of the brethren.
Becoming separated from her husband,
however, she unwittingly exclaimed: "Par-
don me, brother, but where has my husband
gomez" The poor monk was at first quite
stupefed at hearing sweet voice come
from behind the stiff, white collar, and
looked terror-stricken upon the hypocriti-
cal overcoat and the faliacious trousers.
Then some servants came' up carrying IN
old arm chair, into which they put the In
trutier and carried her out Of the monastery
gate.
The Way to Silence Donkey.
have no doubt that the donkey believes
himself when braying TO be executing vo-
cal solo of the highest excellence. As
some of my readers may be incapableof ap-
preciating the song, will mention device
| whereby the Turks induce the too-yocal
donkey to be silent against his will. just
as before cock crows he finds 1t necessary
to stretch out his neck 10 the utmost, 80
the donkey feels himself compelled to be-
gin his performance by holding his nose In
the, air and his tail parall el with his spine.
When, therefore, q Turk wishes to silence
his donkey he ties tolerably heavy stone
| TO the end Of the animals tail and departs
with an easy mind. When the donkey feels
| inclined to bray and begins the usual pre-
hminaries he finds himself dcbarred from
placing his tail at the requisite angle, and
In consequence is unable 10 do justice to
the bravura with which he was proposing
to favor the world, ,--[Rev. j. W. Wood in
Chautauqusn.
An Odd. Drumming idea.
| A novel scheme of commercial travelling
has been started at Elboeuf by number
of small manufacturing firms to send out
commercial travellers to represent the
whole number In given countries. Thus
one is to be sent toJapan and others to other
countries. The first syndicate was formed
Of twenty firms, but others containing
smaller numbers have also been formed
AS far as possible each member Of the syn
dicate has his own specially, and the sam
Piles of no two members are alike But
even If two firms produce the same wares
there is no reason why they should not
belong to the same syndicate, inasmuch as
the traveller has no reason 70 press the
| goods OF one more than those of the other,
as the commission is the same in each case.
| Mems Fashions in England.
Mems fashions at evening receptions in
| England were described In London paper
in an account Of prominent fashionable
| event: The men were In the ever-prevalent
sack coats. Some Of these coats were curl
ously wrought with pearl buttonsand velvet
braid; acres Of fur and astraehan covered
| the faces of others. The second edition of
the Gladstone collar surmounted the small
| fragment Of white which our Brummels
now show to lead TO the belief that they
wear two waistcoats. Some of the new
| patterns in trousers are marvellous to be
| seen,
Hannibal Hamlin's Lone Hand.
| address to the Lincoln Club in Chicago)
Allow me to state that the first intima-
ton that had that was to be placed upon
the ticket with Abraham Lincoln came to
me through the lips of Schuyler Colfax.
was playing a pleasant game OF euchre in
my room. My colleague, Senator Fessen-
| den, Senator Grimes Of the State of Iowa,
and a Member of the House from Maine
constituted the party, and we were
smoking our cigars, as | was just
now when you deprived me of smoking
| quietly when there was tramping of feet
in the corridors of the Washington hotel