Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-11-21
NYE'S SOCIETY HINTS.
WILLIAM TELLS HOW ONE MAY SHINE
IN A PARLOR.

IN A PARLOR.
Bill Coaches a Young Man Who Has Fatty
Degeneration of the Think Wastes and
RegurgitatiOn of the Idea-TabIe Eth
quette.
Bill Nye, in answer to correspond
ent who asked him for "some good table
rules of etiquette" writes as follows:
You speak of your parents as never hav-
ing mad any advantages and rasher h cass
shoveling dirt that you may shine In soci-
ETY.. Do not do that. Edmund. The weak
point in your fathers place is that he puts
his hard earned money on youth with
fatty degeneration OF the think wastes and
regurgitation OF the idea.
Still, as you say, you might shine In So
ciety. Such things are common. The only
question is. how are you going to get your
scheme loundedP fear you will not sue
ceed. You say your manner is pleasing,
and you don't know how glad am to hear
you say that over your own signature
Many others would have concealed 1t. Yet
you say you have scared appearance
while in society Do not let that trouble
you. Ii you knew how much society was
scared when you enter it you would pluck
up courage.
If you had never led In prayer before. ac-
cording to the strictes st Jules of etiquette,
which 1 looked into while abroad, you
could not be expected to oblige. The men
who can make pleasing and grammatical
prayer in public are very rare. indeed. Just
say when called upon that you are not
good social prayer. but only trying to lead
Christian life. like Rev. Myron w. Reed.
of Denver. He was very bright and orig
inal preacher, and many curious people
came to hear him. Once ho was making
low but earnest prayer. when gentleman
from tho Gunnison country. who was visit
Ing Denver. made the remark, "Louderl-
MIR. Reed ceased for moment. and, look
Ing at the gentleman fl ON over the range,
said softly and in meek. Christian spirit,
was addressing God" Ho then resumed
his prayer. Do not take your bag with you
when invited to dine. You can do up few
little articles in newspaper and put them
into your overcoat pocket so as to be taken
more by surprise when pressed to remain.
On the sank principle do not take your
trunk with You 10 mako party call.
shawl strap is ample. l think.
You should not wear straw hat whilst
taking straw ride. To be appropriately
dressed whilst taking straw ride, one
should wear Denman Thompson hat, faced
with gingham. blue denim jumper with
Buspen lers showing through same, pair
OF brown canvas overallS and heavy kip
boots slightly tinctuied with rich. nut
brown flavor OF the quiet country life.
Pillow shams may be thrown aside at
night. They are mostly for day wear. Some
roll them up in napkin-ring at night.
whilst others hang them on seed corn or
dried-apple drapery of tho room. Pillow
shams go very far toward sweetening the
home atmosphere and identifying the home
nest. Show me whore they have no pillow
shams and l will show you desolate
house. Show mo whore there are no pillow
shams and l will show you no picture Of
George Washington in the act Of crossing
tho Delaware. Show me piliow-shamless
homo and l will show you home where
there Is no conch-shell on the bureau. no
dried grass or everlasting flowers on tho
confer table. no four o'clocks in the front
yard or tansy in the back yard. no soft
voiced guinea hens in the barn lot. or low
born bleating calf in the stable.
In drinking wine ut table you should not
drain the gla at once. or exclaim as you
take it up: We'll. hero we gol" or, after
emptying your glass, look anxiously for
your check or ask the waiter to mako 1t
the same again for all hands" This is coarse
and smacks Of the common herd. Watch
your host and keep your wine lowered to
about the same notch as his. Then you will
be all right That is tho way they do In
Paris. II you are afraid to trust yourself to
drink any more vino while your host con.
tinues to daily with the sparkling you may
ask for Yichy water. which find is good
drink to stick to. especially for those whose
minds cannot successfully grapple with
other beverages. Do not hang your eyes
out on your choeks while drinking vino. or
drink too fast and get it up your nose.
II you drink coffeo after your dinner do
not. II you desire moro than one cup. pound
on yonr saucer with the spoon or look
la ylike In your demeanor. telling soma
fresh little anecdote to the guests while you
eat a saucerful Of olives or pin o fresh sprig
Of celery on your coat.
When you get anything hot In your
mouth do not got mad and swear. for the
otner guests will only laugh at you; but take
1t ont carefully and ask the hired girl TO put
It on ice little while for. you. or make
some other bright remark in French or
English. as the mood may strike you. In
Lon on notice, also. that it is no longer
de trOp or sdohet for guest at table to re-
move his teeth when he gets blackberry
under tho upper plate. Only in extreme
cases is it allowable for privileged guests.
for instance, who get olive seeds or oyster
shells under the plate OF their. artificial
teeth, to remove them without being ex-
cused from table. This custom also obtains
in Paris. where they are evpn moro flnicky
than at the courts OF Europe. 1t seemed
to me.
It is now considered perfectly proper to
take tho last OF anything on the plate, for
It is presumed that thore Is moro down
cellar. or. II not. tho host can put on his
hat and go down town for another supply.
Much laughter may be produced and gem
eral good feeling ongendered by little sallies
OF wit tnken from joke book. have
an English book OF jcsts which has holped
me to pay for many meal. Some OF
these iokcs are real good The best English
Jokes / have seen were made In Philadel-
phia.
No. do not approve OF tho custom Of
hiding hunk of bread. as you SO happily
express it. in rolled up napkin for tho
guest to jerk loose over the 1loor. When
the custom of feeding people with Canton
flannel cakes at breakfast on the first day
of April Ia abandoned, this reprehensiblo
practice also will ceaso.
You may eat radishes with the shuck on.
Pounded glass will also be furnished II you
ST. oak about IL in time. Do not.swallow the
seeds of apricots or peaches. Take them
home and plant them. Do the same with
watermelon seeds When the cigars are
passed around take one for smoking pur-
poses and one to put In your pocket. You
will then convince the host. Ii you havc not
already done so. that tho social circle in
which you should move may be found
within tho narrow confines OF tho pound.