Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-12-12
TALK OF THE DAY.

Second mattress-"Full as tick"
lmproving-First pipe-"How Is.
your health?" Second pipe-'Pm get
ting stronger every day."
Chicago's water supply costs her ST..
900 annually-and several OF the resi-
dents don't drink water either.
YOU say drinking is one of your
husbands faiings?" "Failings? Oh,
no. 1t is one OF his successes"
Happy thought: First Corl1screw-
what nowP" Second Corkscrew-'1
think shall open small bottle"
Dentists ought to make good cam
paign orators; they have such an.
effective way of taking the stump.
Not so numerous tell you blood
is thicker than water" cried the orator.
mot on Wall street, it amt" yelled
one OF his hearers.
Force OF Habit Lieut.. Bang Gas the
wedding party leaves the altar)-"M-
M, just dress up there on the right,
will you, dearestP"
Gate-"ra, Ia, old friend. Pm just of
for my vacation" Parlor Chair-"Ah
me! Two had mine"
The new spitz: He-"That's hand
some dog you have there. What breed
is itp" Boston High School graduate
(embarrassed) THAT! that's n saliva
dog"
A Hint to Get Out -Loafer-"How
are youP Just thought I'd drop in
awhile to kill time" Busy man
well, we don't want any OF our timc
killed"
Mrs Brown-"And so your son be-
came missionary? Did the heather
receive him kindly?" Mrs. Smith
Very kindly. They were unusually
hungry, it is supposed"
The force of habit.-Jiggletts-
What are the latest shades in neck
wear?" Druglets (who has tended q
soda fountain) -"Strawb berry, lemon.
vanilla, chocolate, sarsaparilla-
A sufferer st. Peter-"'Who Is it
this time?" Page-"A photographer
he says he made speciality OF taking
photographs OF babies" st. Peter
(feelingly)-"Show the sufferer in"
An unfortunate remark. Mrs
Smithington Cat railroad station) -
'Oh, Mr. Tibkin, you are always so
kind in coming TO see me Off" Mr..
'ribkin-"Not at ALT is always a
pleasure"
Her test-Wife Cat front door)-
who's there?" Voice-"I am-John
your husband" Wife--"I don't
believe you. II don't sound like Johns
voice. Blow your breath through the
hey-hole."
Judge-"Witness, you are 40 years
OF agep" Female Witness Yes
alas! One gets older every day. And
yet was young once (heaving sigh.
All! your worship would hardly believe
how young l wasn'
Mrs Finnigan's view Of it-Grocer
"Is it five or ten cents worth OF soap
you want Mrs. Finnigan-"Tin cints'
worth. indade! Whin there's much in
the house much'll be used-give me
foivo cints' worth"
Should not be disturbed
"Will madam speak little lowerp"
Mistress What is the matter? Have
any OF the children been taken sick"
Servant NO ma'am; but this is the
hour for Fido's afternoon nap."
Edith-"I don't like electrical light
in house." ''Why" Edith
because it can be turned on so unex-.
pectedly-by pa, for instance" Jack
well, let US go out on the piazza
The moon won't play US any tricks"
He saved himself in time.-Ella-1
know l am ugly but l love you, Eras-
tus. have $40. 1000 a year. Will you,
marry me?" Erastus-"Yes, darling,
I'd marry you If you were twice as
ugly-as you say you are, my beauti-
full birdie"
Pompous English Authority
ambition, sir, is TO be buried in West
minister Abbey beside the great men Of
England's past" American Person
Indeed! Mine is to remain alive and
kicking among the ordinary men OF
Americas present"
Gentlemen OF Leisure. Baseball
where are you going to spend the
evening, pardP" Bat-"Oh, I'm going
to the ball. Won't you come alongr'
Baseball-"No, thanks. Thought you
might be induced to go along with me.
I'm going on bat"
Tompkins-"I heard You started O.
paper out west some time ago" john
kins-"Yes, and the first issue OF IL
was n remarkable one" Tompkins-
Remarkable? In what respectp"
Johnkins -"Besides being the first il
was also the last issue"
Occultism in Boston-Ethel (six
years old)-"I have secured mammals
permission to come over and spend the
afternoon with you" Mabel (seven)
That's nice. You sit over there
and read Gadbury's Genethilalogia
while finish Ptolemy's Tetrabiblos."
Faith in the Administration. WISH
tor-''You say you sent this money TO
your son in an unregistered letter;
aren't you afraid it will be lost?" Mrs.
Imple-''Oh. no indeed! l just put
Money with care on the envelope
and 1 know Mr.. Wanamaker is hon
est"
Another broken friendship. Miss
EHie Ancee Gust engaged) -"What do
YOU think Edwin said last night
That IL he had tn choose either me or
n million dollars, he wouldn't even
look at the million" Miss May Tour
(still waiting) loyal fellowl
l suppose he didn't like to risk the
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