Wichita eagle., 1889-02-01
For the Eagle.
WHAT COLLEGE HILL WANTS.
A coNUNDRUM.

1 A CONUNDISUA.
| What College Hill wants, the question j
| ask,
Is the self-imposed, willful. deliberate
task
OF the S. and B. club as an organized
| cure
For every known evil the Hill may en-
dure.
Not only to ask with intelligent zeal,
But the want to supply for the general
/ veal.
We don't ask the earth, there is not any
dearth
OF untaken slices-at very low prices,
But a few little modest suggestions we
| make
Of some trifes that we would be willing to
take.
the first thing in order chat comes to the
| mind,
When the bright orb of day in the west
has declined,
And leaving your Office, poor hungry
sinner,
Your mind turns with longing toward
home and your dinner.
And you feel you are wasting too much of
| existence
| While the slow-mOvlng street car crawls
| over the distance.
You don't ask for wings, or any such
| things,
| But little Improvement in this kind Of
movement
Is but due to the dignity, worth and re-
nown,
Of the excellent jewellers in this part of
town.
The ugly, obstreperous, obstinate kicker
| That only goes slower the harder you lick
her,
| Is not sufficiently elegant creature
To form an exceedingly prominent feature
In furnishing means for our progress.
And SO
We are clear that the mule Of our daddies
must go.
We don't ask that PhpbuS should come
and relieve US
BY making the run with the car of the
But we think an electrical motor would
fill
The want of the people that live on the
Hill.
Ascending a step to theme intellectual,
Introduces want that l think will affect
you all.
We are honestly proud of the great reputa-
Conceded by all the best minds in the ma
tion)
OF our state, that stands first in diffusion
of knowledge,
And our city that builds the ubiquitous
college.
But beyond all dispute. the highest re-
pute
In this city for learning-so zealously
yearning-
Belongs to the people whose lntellects
bright
Have provided the program that charms
US tonight.
If we would be sure that the next genera
ton
Shall also attain the same reputation,
We want commodious building TO train
The budding ideas in the juvenile brain;
A building complete with each modern ap
pliance
To aid in the rapid requirement of
science
OF ethics, geology paleontology,
Of hydrodyuamicS, and modern ceramics,
Evolution, astronomy. metempsychosis.
And a little plain English in moderate
doses.
A very few weeks in their progress will
bring
College Hill face to face with the beauti-
full spring,
The season of hope and poetical gush,
The season of colds and of wading
through slush.
And then if we judge by the way Mr.. Hyde
talks,
think it is likely we may need some side
walks.
1t is but duty we owe to the beauty
Of the sisters and wives that brighten our
lives,
To see that the soles of their delicate feet
Shall never be soiled by the mire of the
street
A want that is pressing in some explana-
ton,
OF the very mysterious concatenation
OF letters composing part OF our name,
That QerDley the DOOR stranger that read
eth the same,
Whether social and business or smiling
and bland
Or brothers and sisters or backbone and
sand,
The intentional blunder is not any won
der,
When the hardened and callous with envi-
Gus malice,
Call it busted and strapped or boomers
and sharks,
Or brandy and soda or beer and segars
And now let me whisper word in your
ear,
From what 1 have heard there is reason 1
fear,
That here in the midst of prosperity
Wanted,
The almighty dollar is one thing that's
wanted;
And it isn't a want in general way,
But its wanted in cash without any delay.
III really Is Iunny, CnlS question OF money,
That a shortage of cash should assuredly
dash
The sharpest, the deepest. the likeliest
plan,
Of the shrewdest, the wisest, most bust
ness-like man.
What College Hill wants. Her wants are
immense,
And she wants what she wants with
wanting intense.
/ am sure there is no other club in the land
That has such a tremendous conundrum
Oh hand,
AS how TO supply the increasing desires
Which College Hill culture and fashion
inspires;
But we do not worry or get in furry
We take up the question at regular ses-
sion
And we answer by vote land this ends my
ditty).
Referred with respect to the proper COM
HIS MISFORTUNE.
Judge Edward p. Kirby, of Jackson
vile, Illinois, has been in the city during
the present week and left last evening for
his home. The judge is a man who has
made close study of many of the lead
L