Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-12
THE AFTERNOON TEA,

Most of my dreams seom disarranged;
OF course I'm happy, only life
Looks altered now--the world is changed
! can't believe I'm Harry's wife,
And yet I know I am, for here
(What tiny thorns ones wreath may
MARI
I'm sitting quite alone, my dear,
And he--is in the smolSing-car.
Mrs. A.-"What pleasant person Mrs.
Greene Is to visit She always receives ono
so courteously, you know" Mrs B.-"Why,
that's the only reason that do not call upon
her. 1t Is a sign Of vulgarity, don't you
know, to appear so pleased to see visitors.
1t looks as though you were not in the habit
of receiving company"
A society lady in Chicago has issued cards
on birchen bark inviting her friends to meet
at her house to celebrate the fifth ami
versary of the attainment of her spinster
hood. IL will be the first event OF the kind
ever celebrated but when the news reaches
New England there will be such girdling
OF birch trees that home made root beer will
be forced out Of the market.
Mrs. Newm arried-"Which one OF your
friends has had triplets born to hint"
MIR. Recommendations of them, my
dear. Whyp
Mrs. Newmarried-,"N "Nothing, only heard
You say in your sleep, Got three of kind,
have youl Well, that beats me-"
The formation of an orange trust in Bos-
ton is announced. Tho number of spinsters
in that city leads to the suspicion that an
orange blossom trust has long existed there.
Miss Yellowleaf-I con not understand
why you call Mr.. Sheighmau bashful.
talked with him over an hour last evening,
aud he seemed perfectly at ease. Miss
Flyppe-rm sure never said he was bash
full. In fact have often heard that in the
society of old ladies he was most charming
talker.
The marquis of Lorne has written vol
ume of poems entitled "Who is the Hap
piest'" When his answer comes along, it will
probably be, The Man who has not Married
into the Royal Family.
There was young girl in school,
Who tightened her corsets by rule;
From shortness of breath she came to her
death,
And that was the end of fool.
English society Is making an attempt to IN
troduce new dance, on this plan: Four
PAGES are made as though a march were in
tended, and then each gentleman embraces
his lady, and waltzes with her for four bars,
then resuming pacing. Repeat
Man may have seven ages, but woman,
after she reaches a certain point has but
one She sticks to that for the remainder of
her life.
The explanation of Queen Victoria's ap
parently inexhaustible supply of Indian
;,l, to
present, is that early in her maiesty's reign
one of the Indian princes, in consideration of
his having large and valuable territory
ceded to HIM, bound himself to pay an annual
tribute, which Included three pairs of the
finest cashmere shawls and twelve perfect
shawl goats.
Wibble-Of all the nervy men, think
young Wagwell takes the cake.
Wabble-What's the matter with Wag-
wells
Wibble-He proposed to deaf and dumb
girl some time ago, and now he is suing for
breach of promise on the ground that silence
gives consent.
''How does 1t happen that the couple over
the way live so happily togethera They
have been married now twenty-five years
and have never yet had dispute"
mo wonder; she goes out teachlng music
all day long away from home and he is a
night editor on daily paper"
Ethel (entering parlor)-Oh, Aggie, so glad
to see you. They kiss.1 Why, you are en-
gagged to be married.
Aggie-How do you knows
81 can tell by the way you kiss"
Kissable girl (suddenly) y)-Take care, some
one will see you.
Good-looking but bashful beau-What am
doing:
Klssable girl ornfully)-Nothing.
Miss Helen Gould always believed she had
mission to teach and even now instructs
four music pupils, members of her church, at
her home.
A careless female resorter, who was
aroused in her room at the Arlington hotel,
in Petoskey, Mich, the other night by an
alarm of fire, took time to dress and pack
her trlnk before she ran down stairs, but
forgot to wake up her husband.
"How Long Girls Should be Courted," is
the title of an article in Texas paper. Much
the same as short girls, we should say.
FALL FRlVOLTIES.