Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-01-26
WIT. HUlfoR AND GEHTI,
MENT.

4
MENT.
eHost dangerous kind Of bat that fiia1
q night i the brick Dot.
Why il shoemaker like IN honest lover I
because he il faithful to the last
Introduce me to your ksznel." = tAs
squirrel said to the mt ss2s
Why is hsn walking like conspiracy I
-6ecsuss it is fowl (fouD proceeding.
Aoountzy editor, in his terms, ays that
ne charges tone dollar for every sixteen
lies !" Linas We presume he meant x@@
d.. R maintained that poverty VA
. virtue. "That il making . virtue OF
necessity" said bystander.
Some person was once aaked Why d
stood before G! Because, was the answer,
. man must B before he can G.
~ paws for . reply" - the - ~
when she scratched at the door fo a&sais
mon.
Pastry cooks seldom advertise, because .
large proportion of their goods are puffs in
Themselves.
Thy is q gunsmith's shop like chicken.
PIE !--Because it contains fowl-in- pieces
(fowling- pieces).
A jockey sold q nag q an "honest
horse, because he always threw his rider
when he threatened to.
Tommy, my son, what Il longitude ? 4"
" A clothes line, daddy" SLOW do you
make that out?" because it stretches
from pole to pole"
Row il it that husbandman and q seam.
stress follow q similar occupation Be.
cause the one gathers what he sows, and
the other sews what she gathers.
Sam, how do you like that knife 1 sold
you last week." $50, so. It's not very
sharp, yet you managed to shave me with
Why is hungry boy looking at the pud.
ding in cook-shop window like wild
horse ?. Because he would be all the better
1t he had bit in his mouth.
A housewife, on being advised to put list
On her doors to keep the cold out, declined,
because she had read that the " wind blow.
eth where it isteth."
Acertain Justice of the peace would never
hear but one of the parties in case before
him because" as he said, lit always
puzzled him when he heard bothl"
"John. I fear you are forgetting me,
said oright-eyed coquette to her sweet
heart. the other day. Yes, Sue, have
been for getting you these two years"
" Is mclasses good for cough" inquired
Jones, who had taken q slight cold. and
was barking with considerable energy.
IS 1t ought to be-" said Brown, sit IL sold
for consumption
"'Tinton |" exclaimed an Irish sergeant
to his platoon; front face, and tind tc.
rowl call As many of ye al is presint will!
say Here y and as many Of 70 q is moi
presint will say Absent'!"
Miss, you will take my sinister ann ="
"Yes, sir, and you too" Il can't spare
but tho arm, Miss" replied the bachelor.
Then" replied she, 81 shan't take it, a
my motto Is, go the schole hog or nothing"
An old gentleman Of our acquaintance
says that he is the last man in the world that
viii ever tyrannise over . daughters a&ec-
tionA So long az she naar,1es the man Of
his choice, he don't care who she a,sss
A man In Florida, who swallowed IN
orange seed last fall, has Q breath 20 fra
grant of orange blossoms this spring, that,
so he says-the ladies are constantly teas.
ING him for kisses.
A wag says it il folly 60 expect q girl to
love Q man whom everyb body speaks well Of.
But, get mp . persecution, and her affee-
tions will cling SO fast, that dozen guard
ans cannot begin to remove them
An Athenian, who was lame in one foot,
joining the army, was laughed at by the
soldiery on account of his lameness. al
am here to fight" said the hero, mot to
run"
"Have You Goidsrnith's Greece ?" aslss
q gentleman, on entering book store the
other day. "No; but they have some ss-
cellent bears oil two doors below, ansv>e
ed the indefatigable book merchant
The late Rev. d.. Isaac, was both q
great wag and . great smoker. "Thes>
you are, !" cried young lady, who surprised
him one day with pipe in his mouth, "ai
your idol again" .'Yes, madam" replied
he, coolly, burning it
A transceneental preacher took for bis
text, g Feed my lambs" plain farmer
quantity remarked to him, ON coming ont
Of the church, "A very good text, sir but
you should take care not to put hay % high
In the rack that lambs can't reach it."
4 conceited fellow, in introducing hls
friend into company, said, Gentlemen,
assure you he il not 50 great fool - he
seems" The gentleman Immediately 70.
piled, That il exactly the difference be-
tween my friend and myself"
A young woman alighted from . stage
coach WREN piece of ribbon from her bon.
net fell into the coach. "You have left
your bow behind" said lady passenger.
"Oh. NO, haven't-he's gone fishing" in
nocently rejoined the damssl, proceeding
on her way.
A clergyman lecturing one afternoon to
his female Pensioners, said: "Be not
proud that our Lord paid your sex the dis
tinguished honor Of appearing frst to f.
male after the resurrection, for it was only
done that the news might spread The SOON
en-"
INA. does pa kiss You because he loves