davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
A GRIST OF HUMOR.

Who will be courageous enough to sit
on the barbed-wire truSt?-ROcheste
Herald,
1t is the young man with sand who
wins the girl with the rOcks.-Boston
Courier.
For temperance meetings to do good
there should be a full atteuGance.-New
Orleans Picayune.
"a house divided against itself cannot
stand" The same thing seems to be
the matter with the divided skirt
Albany Express.
Authors of fiesh-reducing systems
find it a paying business, for it enables
them to live on :he fat of the land
Baltimore American.
Cannon ought to make good speaker
of the house of representatives, particu-
larly if he were well primed for the
effort.-Rochester Post-Express.
Some one asked an old lady about a
sermon: could you remember it?"
Remember it? La, no; the minister
couldn't remember it himself. He had
to have it written down. "-Christian
Advocate.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

Laura Lewis, Elsie Hasenwinkle, Mabel
Boyd, Carrie Mangler, Julia Stone, Edith
Stevenson; Messrs. Bert Chase, Charlie
Chase, William Wood, John Lewis, Sanford
Grant, Harry Lewis, Harry Burroughs
George Grant, Fred Shepard. William Ma,
pier, Robert Barnard and Frank Salesberry.
ii. Wiley went to Bismarck yesterday on
the Northern Pacific.
Ii: c. Davis left yesterday on the Northern
Pacific for Tacoma.
A. B. Ovitt left yesterday on the Milwaukee
for New Orleans.
Percy Dickinson and family left yesterday
on the Northern Poetic for Tacoma.
ID. G. Corbin, Of Seattle W. r., passed
through the city yesterday on his way to
Spokane Falls.
Col. +. +. Barr q. 8. A.. judge advocate
general. leaves for Washington. ID. c.. via the
Milwaukee road.
The West Side Lodge No. lO6 ]. 0. 0. F.
gave their first hop OF the season last Friday
evening, and it proved q social success.
goodly number OF Odd Fellows ana their
friends turned out. and very enjoyable
evening was spent. The music was fur
nished by Prof Fowler. Among the many
present were Mr.. ana Mrs. NJ. Granger. Mr..
and Mrs. Theodore Hayes. Mr.. and Mrs. VIII
lam Allen, Mr.. and Mrs. William Ringwald,
Mr.. and Mrs K. j. Heimbach, the Misses
Kaufman, Dietrich, Burbank. Bowers, Hal
field. Valley, Ross, Smiling, Kit Garvey, Kei-
ley, Dubois McLain. Tuchelt and Reardon,
the Messrs. Bouquet, Wardell, Letford A.
Mullen, 6. +. Mullen, HansdOrf. Scott, Doyle,
Kraft, Thomas. o. Heimbach, Brehler, Rear
don, Haas, Griffin, Simmons and Moves.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

ha and WinnGhago Indians. 1t was the
third day of the palace season, and
portion of the programme announced
for the afternoon was foot race be-
tween Indian women, half mile, for
purse of $50. Now, had never
seen anything of the kind,
and knew nothing about tho
habits or customs of the Indian maid
ems, but when / was selected as starter
] wanted to be SOciable. and accepted
the post. The race course was to be
Third street, level stretch of cedar
paving. and both sides of the street
were packed for mile with crowd in
which the predominatimg sex was
female. There were ladies there from
almost every state in the Union, all OF
them interested in seeing the race.
" ell, | stood up in the tail end of
lumber wagon, ready to send them
away. There were five starters. each
woman wearing a shawl and a sort
of loose skirt. l said go. and a
go it was, for such a scene as
ensued l never saw equalled. As soon
as the word was given every one of
those young squawS threw off her shawl,
jumped out of her skirt and away they
went down the avenue at 2:30 gait,
and but for the very briefeSt of waist
clothes. as naked as they were born. /
was dlmly conscious that something
awful had happened as slid off that
wagon and tried to escape through the
multitude of Shrieking, stampeded
women, ard didn't make the speech
was announced to make at the banquet
held at the junction that evening. You
can bet your complexion, too. that
when next l start a squaw race therF
will be two solar eClipSeS in one day.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
SHREDS AND PATCHES.
Odds and Ends of HumOr Dropped
Into the Work Basket
ART AND NATURE.

ART AND NATURE.
"Queer, isn't it." said BOggs, show g
little art changes the nature of things.
Take the eel, for instance. Ordinarily
he is a hard cuss to hold. But the
glovemakerS are now making his skin
into an Imitation kid glove, and when
on the hands of a young lady-well. it
depends on circumstances whether he is
any easier to hold or not"
THE LADY AND THE CONGRESSMAN.
The Young woman of Illinois who has
elOped with congressman has brought
misery on all her friends, Including, no
doubt, the poor congressman.
ACCOUNTING FOR 1T.
BOggS-l never saw any one so CON-
pletely wrapped up in play as a lady
was at the theater last night.
EOggs-Good play, probably.
BOggs-PIay was no good at all. She
was Russian lady. IN the east, and was
out in a snow storm.
GEN. BUTLER, TAKE NOTICE.
1T is easier for some people to write
their memoirs" remarked Goggles,
ethan it is to find readers for them after
they are written"
WHY THEY OBJECT.
1t is the opinion of De Punster that
New 1Ol n Will ObJOtG w az
Eifel tower for their fair, because it
comes so high.
THE YOUTH AND THE EGGS.
A hlppant young man entered a
Brooklyn grocery, and. after eating a
dollars worth of things that were loose.
asked the woman clerk:
Are these eggs fresh?'
Not by comparison" replied the
young woman, quietly.
The young man thought very hard
for moment. bought the eggs and hur-
ried away.
JACK HAS THE ADVANTAGE.
There are $1,000 police in England,
and one Jack the Ripper, which gives
Jack a great advantage.
AT THE RESTAURANT.
First Guest-Why do they call this
Indian pudding2
Second Guest-Because no one but an
Indian can eat it.
AT SALAMANCA.
First Visitor-Do you not smell the
Indian summer?
Second Visitor-No; but l smell an
Indian SOme'cre.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
THEY ARE IN.

Minnesota's fair twin daughters are
aOw safely sheltered in the fold. By
the simple stroke OF his pen yesterday
She president completed the formalities
Of admission, and the two Dakotas are
now full-grOwn members of the federal
family, and are in the full enjoyment of
all the rights and dignities of sovereign
states. 1t IS misfortune that the cleo
ton returns from Montana and Wash
IngtOn had not been duly certified to
the president, in order that the quar-
tette of new states might have come in
together. Yet the president did right
in not postponing the admission of the
Dakotas until the other two had been
heard from. The DakOtas had complied
40 full with the requirements of the en-
aiding act, and the wonder is that the
presidents proclamation should have
been delayed so long. They are in now,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

charmer, unWiFtingIy or otherwise, com
pletely captivated one of the South
American delegates. who, though his
English was an unknown Quantity,
lowered about her during the entire
evening and spoke with his large black
eyes the regret he felt at parting from
the fair maid of the North. AS result
Of the fact that letters, addressed in
very Spanish-lOoking characters. have
since been of daily receipt at the resi-
dence of the beauty. g05sips are pre-
dieting marriage in which Senior
What's-His-Name and Miss Many
Wiles are made to figure as the con,
IA citing parties.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
face Of IA honest a man as EDMUND Rec.
would paralyze him.

face Of "a honest man as EDMUND RICE. II
would paralyze him.
lGNATIUs DONNELLY has discovered some
interesting Indian relies i'll the shape of cop
per plates and coin with clevcrly executed
decorations and hieroglyphics. The singular
part of it is, they throw no light on the BG-
CONAN cipher.
During the visit OF the Pan-Amercans to
this city well-known St. Paul gentleman
with SwarIhy complexion was mingllng
with the crowd IN the city hall. While look
ing over the exhibit OF Minnesota products
in the council chamber he stopped to inspect
Il sample Of hard wheat. when Dakota
county farmer stepped up to him and re-
marked: II guess you don't raise none OF
that stuff in your kentry." "Oh, yes, We dc"
promptly relorted the St Paulite, Last year
we raised 6O,O0O,OuO bushels OF wheat i'll
my country" well I'll swan" CALCULATED
the farmer, land which of them Pan Amer
lean states do you come fromf" Mime
sota," was the cool reply. The farmer looked
at him for moment i'll astonishment and
then, as his face broadened into grin, said:
Il mousht have knowed you was a Mime
sotan from the way you doomed the tiggers
on that wheat crop"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
PHILANTHRoPY's NEW FIELD

An organization must be had to ac-
compiish anything in these times. A
Teformer or philanthrOpist makes his
speciality the center of an organization.
Every virtue has a society, with officers
and constitution and committees to pre-
pare resolutions. Vices have their CON
crete and associate antagonists. There
is room, however, for at least one more
society. Philanthropy and religion
need a special channel to the hearts of
those inclined 90 commit suicide. One
can hardly open paper without find
ing list of self-destrOyerS that would
be shocking if not so common. More
than nine-tenths of the cases reported
are due to causes that cnequer COM
mon, everyday life. Disappointment
in love and financial trouble are the
chief factors in this self-destrUctiOn. A
large portion is due 10 mere trivial Incl
dents distorted in the mind. As the
causes of suicide are so we'll known, it
would seem that organized effort could
do much to reach and affect them.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
A RETRACTlON
Which the Globe Made and Which
Is Backed Tn by an Affidavit.

In the issue of the Globe of Oct. II a
special from Red Lake Falls stated that
A. Il. HOlSton was assaulted and badly
mauIed by P. SOards, to whose wife Hol-
stOn had used improper language during
Soards' absence.
In the issue Of Oct. 10 the following
dispatch appeared in correction of the
above and statement from him that
the facts as published were entirely
false; that the woman had never been
insnlted by him and that there had
been no fight. Here is the dispatch:
RED LAKE FALLS, Mimi. Oct. 1S.-
The telegram from this place headed
'Mauled by Neighbour and referring
TO A. Z. HOlstOn as the party asSailed
turns out to be untrue. Mr.. Holston,
it appears, did not insult Mrs. SOardS.
and was not assaulted by her husband"
The following affidavit is an indOrSe-
ment of the above:
CTATE OF MINNESOTA, COUNTY OF
- POlk-ss. Mrs Mary Ann Soards OF Red
Lake Falls, in said county and state, being
first duly sworn by and before the under
signed, notary public within and for said
county and state, deposes and saws that she
knows A. Il. Holston. attorney at law of Red
Lake Falls that said HOlstOn has never been
at atlantis house during her husbands eO-
Sence, excepting on business, and as the ut
torney for McKusick & Cox, and in reference
to some horses which her husband p Soards,
had attached as the property Of said Me
kUsick; that at such time or times said
HOlStOn offered no insult, nor did he make
any improper proposals to said atfiant, and
that said Holston at all times and in all
places, while in atlantis presence and hear
ing, always behaved himself as a gentleman,
ana that all reports published to the contrary
are untrue. MRS. ANN SOARDs
Subscribed and sworn to before me this
10Th day of October. 1889.
[Seal.l p. C. FALARDEAU, Notary Public
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
Lean Girls Rejoice,

, I $AA< -flAC tLiGl
the day OF the
polonaise is re-
turning. No
less than four
! danlsels were
seen at one
time on Third
street yest-r-
Gay who Woro
a slightly mod
ernized YER
sion OF tbs
regular oil d.
fashioned pol
Ona Sc. It's
9 eer how
great a differ
enCe a few
loops and a
slightly al
tered cut will
make In a gar
ment. Without
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
Growth Of

Growth Of The recent annual
report of the Western
the Telegraph Union Telegraph COM
pany shows marvel
Business. OuSly rapid growth of
the telegraph business
of the country. During the past year
the revenues of the company amounted
to 800, 1888, 1914, and the expenses s14, $685.
152, leaving a profit of S6.21S,O4l, or
nearly so per cent of the gross income.
On the present capital stock of the
company, however, this profit only rep
resented a return of z per cent. But
the stock has been so literally watered
that there is no way of establishing the
exact dividend on the amount of capital
actually invested. The number of mes
sages handled the lastyea was 81, 000, 900,
an increase OF 100000 within three
years, while the average cost of hand
ling messages has been cOrrespondingly
decreased. Thus it is made plain that
with rapidly increasing business and
a diminished cost in transmission. the
margin of profits is increasing every
year. Yet the cost to the patrons has
not been cheapened, for there has been
no reduction Of charges. A few more
reports like this one will surely con-
vince the American people of the
necessity of placing the telegraphy of
the country under control of the GOV
eminent.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

its l25th birthday by reproducing fac
simile of the initial issue in Octobt r.
1904. 1t is conceded to be tho OldeS,
paper in the country, and its contrast
ING issues illustrate the development OF
modern journalism. About all there is
to the realm is the product of this
century. Perhaps hundred years
later there may still be something to
contrast with the present.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

HARPER'S MAGAZINE has commenced
the publication of a Legitimate French
novel. and rich American young ladies
are trying to buy some of the characters
that figure in that class of literature
with titles for husbands. Perhaps that
worlds fair started a French wave in
this direction,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

THERE are vendettas of more or less
magnitude in operation in Kentucky,
Illinois. Iowa and Alabama. but there
is enough killing going on to make the
Office of the coroner of some value.
Still. there is always danger of killing
parties that don't need killing.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

FREDDIE GERHARD has returned.
leaving the Lily over the water. 1t is
apprehended that there has been a
breach, ana the boys in New York are
anxious to help FREDDY drown any Sor-
row he may have about him, at his ex-
pense.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
GiIbert'S Destination,

Boston GLOBE.
Little Gilbert, aged three years, on
being reproved once, got his hat and
started out the door. Some one said to
him: "Where are you going, baby"
81 am going to meet Jesus in the Prom
iSed Land" was the reply.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

these additions, the old polouaise would
look Supremacy hideOuS to most people
whose style is correct. But with them,
the dear, old poionaise, such as we re-
member our maiden auntS to have
worn when we were children, becomes
a very catchy. charming addition to the
adOrnment OF the female form divine,
and lean girls will have reason to re-
iOiCe at its return to popularity.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

II Is noted that the emigrants TO
Canada from the old country are as a
rule much poorer then those who come
to the United States. The average
wealth of those who have come to the
Dominion the past year is put at $40
each. AS they become able they quite
numerouSly come over the line.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
TEERIBLE DYNAMITE.
\ Simple Illustration of II
Tremendous Force.


Tremendous Force.
Portland Transcript.
Dynamite is so instantaneous in its
action that green leaf can be COM
pressed into the hardest leest before it
has had time to fiatten. One of the ex-
periments at the United State Torpedo
works was to place some leaves between
two heavy. fiat pieces of iron, set them
on firm foundation and see what gun
cotton would do in forcing the iron
pieces together.
A charge was placed upon them by
COMPRISING the gun-cottOn into cylin-
drca form about one inch thick and
three or four inches in diameter, through
the center of which hole is made for
cap of illuminate of mercury, by which
the gun-cottOn is exploded. The reac-
ton was so great, from merely being eX-
ploded in the open air, that one of the
iron pieces was driven down upon the
other so quickly and with such force
that itcaught an impression of the leaves
before they could escape.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

SOME of the North Dakota journals
are not quite easy to please. They
want outsiders to furnish aid for the
destitute, but do not want it said that
there is any serious occasion for relief
for fear of injuring the country. But
the needy should be helped in any
pVput
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

ScrupuIOuS wives have IabOred hard
TO convince them that the proper capeI
is not to caVil at the expanse of limb
exhibited 10y the leading lady, but
rather TO study the artistic beauty OF
her movements. There is doubtless a
sufficiently large proportion of the pop
ulati0n by whom the views of the bald.
headed brigade will be accepted with.
out question, aid the managers whs
have ballet attractions booked may
count Oh full houses every time.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
A Sioux City Reminiscence.

HAD a queer
eXperien &c a
c 0 Il p | 2 4
months ago"
said CHEEKY old
Judge Blake
ley, of Sioux
City, as he sat
chatting with a
few friends in
a corner of the
Merchants no
tel lobby. 1T
was corn palace
time,you know.
and to add to
the attractive
ness of the
show the COM
mittee on ar
r a II z Ill e n IS
had sworn In
about 400 Oma-
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

ally than the rest Of the crowd, has sew
cred her connection and become
a matron. Salvation Elias personal at
fractions have been for long time an
apple of discOrd to the pi0us privates OF
the army. Now they can fall on each
others necks and weep cOpiously as
doubtless they will, Ella is married, and
better than all she has married well, as
the world ways. She Is now Mrs. Ella
Strong, and will in future reside at
Moline. ILL.,. where her husband owns
mill and considerable other property.
Ella says she will quit the army cold.
because she believes married people
ought to stay at home and look after the
All well, there's time enought yet,
Ella,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

AN OLD letter is brought to light that
asserts that the Declaration Of indie
pendence was not signed on the 4th day
Of July. Some one will yet claim that
ADAM was not born on the 1st day of
January
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

THAT BLAINE puzzle isn't half as
hard as the one the postal department
has been porting over so long-that is.
how to make 4 registered envelope that
cannot be opened and ritied without
being DESTROYED.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

A BRIGHT little fOur-year-old st. Paul
girl the other day shocked her Sunday
school teacher. in responding to a re-
proof. with Pm not stuck on being an
angel"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

MILWAUKEE would allure emigration
by the announcement that ''grOwler
beer" there is but cents pint, just
half what it is in New York. 1t is prob
ably local variety.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

THArsnow-rain was exceedingly good,
but several more like it would not over
stock the country market.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
Mashed a Mexican.

T IS said of a St
paul young lady,
lwh0 has achieved
Fame from her sue
fcess in bringing
1.-THE beaux to her
| feet. that S h 8
| claims still an
IOtheT victim as the
,result of her pres
fence at a recent
r { ceptiOn. II
rnnn.,. Al.AEI -
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

SOME of the cOlored congregations in
the South are said to be wrestling with
the cOnundrum who was secretary of
the twelve apostles.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

If THE signal service towed up that
storm from Texas 1t deserves credit, and
the lieutenant should keep on in the
humid way.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
ST. PAUL PERSONALS.

Last Thursday evening Miss Eta NJ. Lewis
entertained a party OF friends at her home on
East University avenue. A very pleasant
time Those present were tho Misses Alice
Furlong, Lillian Humphrey. Clsra Humphrey,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

paniments of the walters Is widespread
II is predicted by high artistic authority
hat the dress coat must go. The as
saults upon it but rally its friends. and
they insist that the bifurcated appendi X
shall stay, ana go down the ages as it
has come from the fathers. Recent at
lacks have aroused its defenders, and
the swallowtail promises to stay.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

If TIE trust does put on that other
half-d0llar a quart on champagne it
won't nurt as bad as it would on the
coal bill
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
Beautios Of the Ballet.

Ii the theatrical
managers announce
hat the ballet will
je in no wise an un-
Known quantity In
st. Paul this season.
lt is found that the
spectacular order Of
show will iii the
Lou Ses much moro
surely than those
attractions W ic b
neglect the dressing
Of a piece in the be.
lief that it will 60
down merely from
the excellence Of the
caste. The graceful
pirOnettings OF the
danseuSe have, in
the past, been con,
demned by sons
portions Of the audi.
ences witnessing
them as imm0deSt
exhibitions. deSpits
the fact that the bald
headed husbands Of
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03

nd TO stay, and they will receive no
cartier greeting than the one extended
V Minnesota, their mother state.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
rn-nAY,s MEAAIIkK.

E1A>pi<eroS. Nov. For Wisconsin;
fam. partly As snow; cooler; westerly winds
F5r Minnesota and Iowa: Light rain OF
snow: colder; norJweSteriy winds. For
Dakota. Far. colder, Gorthweslerly winds.
GENERAL OBSERVATIONS.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-03
Crude West

Crude West That Pan-American
junket has been over
ern ii Ospital- done The intention
was to take our foreign
ity. visitors only to such
cities as would be sure
to make good impression on them, but
through some inexcuSable folly they
We're permitted to spend day in Kan
sas City, and now it Is feared the in
tended effect of the trip has been spoiled.
II had been raining fOrty-eight hours
when they got to Kansas City, and the
mud was three feet deep. There were
not carriages enough at the depot to
haul the whole party to the hotels, so
the reception committee climbed into
what carriages there were and left most
of the visitors to foot their way through
the mud in search of such tavern ac-
Communications as they could find. When
they compared their Kansas City recep-
ton with the generous one they received
in st. Paul the distinguished Pan-Amer-
leans are said to have sworn in three
different Spanish dialects.