Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1889-07-25
DORBy'S COMPLAINT.

He had been cautioned by his mother tt
eat sparingly, and to say "thank you
when anything was passed to him. Tho
older ones demanded so much attention
that Bobby got very little. "Ma," he
whispered after time, show can | cal
sparingly and say thank you if L DOM
get anything p Binghamton Repub'
lican.
LAUDABLE OBJECT.
Miss Honeycomb--Oh, Mr.. Macinus,
won't you please send me couple OF
your photographs
Mr.. Macinus (highly fattered)- Why,
certainly; with pleasure. But won't one
be sufficient!
Miss Honeycomb-Well should like
to have as many as possible. J. belong
to the $50 Forward Band, and we are
sending out lot of pictures to amuse
the little Ind ans The Argosy.
WHAT SHE LIKED.
"What do you like best." said Mr..
Diffy Dent to his girl, as they stood to-
gether at the soda counter.
"Oh, / like ginger alel" she an
swered; "nnd champagne. Any thing
that-that ="
She didn't finish, but she blushed;
and Diffy popped that night.
DAMPENER.
Mr.. Bertie-Do you like the engage
ment ring, dearest?
Miss Gertie.-Yes, it is just splendid,
and so different from what the others
have given me- Epoch.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS., A
Mrs. Michigmn-How kind your hus-
band must be to give you such love OF
bonnet.
Mrs. Prairie My dear, he paid the
bill under the impression that it was a
flower garden. - Chicago Journal.
SUBJECTS EXHAUSTED.
Little Alice-Oh, dear, I'm afraid if
Mrs. Bank don't go pretty soon we
won get our ride with mamma. Ain t
her call most over9
Little Dick-I guesso. Mamma is
talking about tho second girl now, an
there is only the nurse an the ianitor
left New York Weekly.
! HE sILENCED THE BARBER.
Kutemoif-A man in your limo down
| in our town got up an ingenious thing,
! said the stranger, as he leaned back III
the barbcr's chair at the hotel to have
his fuce scrapcd, after having his hail
cut. 1t was machine to blow the loose
hairs off customers neck. 1t worked
n dozen men.
Balber-Yos, and turned half dozen
men out of work,
Automobiles, that's why the BARRIERS
had him boycottcd.
Barber--And made Inn lay up his
machine.
Kutemof- Yes. That is to say, for
awhile. But he got ahead of 'cm in the
end. He Just put II little onion juice in
the machine, and rs it stood behind him
the customer never knew the difference,
you know.
Barber grunts "H'm z" finishes in
silence, slaps off the towel vicionsly, and
calls ont Next in the voice of man
who has killed his grandmother and is
now yearning for the blood of the rest
of the family. = Boston Transcript.
AN APT CHARACTERIZATION.
"Thcy say Wildboy is settling down
and bids fair to become n great legal
light"
"Ah, yes; n sort OF gas fixture. -
| Bazaar.
SIZE GOT IT.
They were sitting on the piazza that
faced the soa Watching the white sliled
yachts as they crossed the moon S tracks
when he suddenly said:
'I think it must be delightful sailing
on such n lovely night.
"Ohl lovely, should think" "
81 wish L owned yacht for your sake
/ would take you sailing every night.
"That would be Just lovclyl"
"What kind of n yacht would You
prefor-a steam yacht or sailing one!'
"I think" sho mulmmed, as she
| glanced around, II think l would like a
| little smack"
She got it Boston Courier.
SLOW PROGRESS or THE GAME.
A young man well known in society
circles, who has billiard room in the
house, was one evening tcachinga young
lady, in whom he was somewhat in
icrcstcd, to play. The small boy of the
fam ly went up to view the game, but
was evidently not greatly pleased with
its prog! oss and soon came down. Some
one of the family asked him how the
game was going on, and he said: "The
game is not going on at all. Uncle -
is not playing at all; he is Just standing
thoro holding Miss S hand. That
all he's doing, and don't think there q
any finn i'll that sort OF a game In
dianapolis Journal.