davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
LAUGHABLE GATHERINGS.

A POET may be unsuccessful and yet
get big returns.
A oNE-LEGdED man would have rather
hard work getting there with both feet
Rochester Post-EGpress.
FIRST LADY-What an imperious, die
tatorial, arrogant man that Mr.. Pompus
is! Second lady-Yes; you know, he
has never been married.
"SAY, stranger" said veteran cow
boy to tenderfoot, "you wont need
that blanket much longer, for you'll get
covered with a revolver pretty soon."
A NEW YORK lady recently paid 800
for the return of lost skye terrier.
Skye terriers are so called because they
come so high.-PittSbugh Chronicle.
BoY-Say, mister, shall I carry yer
satchel? Do it fer dime. Dude-My
satchel is not heavy. Boy-Well, let
me carry your cane, then.-NeU York
WeekEy.
SOMEBODY has invented waist at
tachment." It may be less 'armful than
the old waist attachment, but it will
never become half so popular. -Drake'S
Magazine.
JARv1s-How true the proverb is thai
man is what his wife makes him
Jervis-And how true it is, too, that &
man does what his wife makes him.
Te1re Ha1tte ECpreSS.
DE THoMPKYNs Cwho has been mar.
rating an incident in his career)-O, Tn
no fool! Paperwate-Nn-no, you're ne
fool, but enthusiastically what sub
stitute you would make Life.
"TD have you to know that my cousin
moves in the best of society" Does he
That saves society a deal of trouble
One of them would have to move, per
force. Boston transcript.
A New YORK Judge said the Other
day: Conviction must fellow crime
If he had only thought of Mr.. Tascott
we think he would not have spoken as
he did.-RocheSter Post Express.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31

Many years ago slim built youth was
trudging through the streets of New
York bent under the weight of q dozer
copies of Benton's ''Thirty Years in Con
gress" bound together by strap. En-
tering o small park he rested on rustic
seat. Presently large man sauntered
along, noticed the boy and his load, sal
down and began to question him.
"Why are you losing time Z" he
asked.
81 can make it up on the home trip
when I shall have nothing to carry
Why are you not provided with a
hand-cart or barrow %
"My employers provide none and
can't afford to buy one."
"Do you read the San ?"
cat odd hours [ do"
''Look in the editorial column to-mor-
row and see what is said of your employ
erS.'
The youth did so and found q scath-
ing article denouncing the firm for over
loading its messengers and treating them
like beasts of burden. But before the
man had left the boy in the park no
asked him to look at the portrait in the
front part of the books and see if he rec
ognized it. The boy complied, then hur-
riedly looked at his chance acquaintance
and said in establishment:
"Why, it is you p
"You are right am Thomas II. Ben
tom
The boy was James Eagan, now a
wealthy merchant of Chicago. Chicago
Times.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
Features of the Washington Centennial.

Among the features of the Washing
ton Centennial celebration in New York
in April will be the republication by
Judge Bradford Prince, of Long Island,
of copy of the american Museum of
April, 1889, which has been preserved i'll
his family for hunred years, and is
unique at this time. It's contents con-
sist among other things of a record of
the counting of the votes for President
in Congress, April 6, 1888; circumstan-
tial account from Baltimore of the arri-
val of General Washington at that city,
April II, and the ceremonies there; an
account from Philadelphia of the Jour-
ney of Washington from the Delaware
line (wherc be was met by Thomas
Mitfin, President of Pennsylvania to
Philadelphia, and the grand recep.
ton, procession and banquet in that
city, dated April IS; and an account of
the journey of Washington to New York,
with particulars of his reception in that
city, etc, in letter dated April %,
1852. There is also can Address to his
Exellency George Washington, Presi-
dent of the United States, from the
President and Supreme Executive Coun-
Gil of Pennsylvania, and the answer of
General Washington, dated April 20,
1889; and an address "to his Excellency
George Washington, esquire, LII. D.,
President of the United States of Amer
la, from the University of Pennsylva-
mia, and Washington's reply.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
Death of a Centenarian Slave.

In little cottage out on Galvez street
there departed from this life, on Sunday
last, FRANCHISE Cimilien, colored
woman, who was more than 100 years
old, and who had little history of her
own.
1t was related to the writer by one of
the many granddaughters of tho de
ceased that the exact age of "Mamy,"
as the Old soul was known, had never
been established, but that, at all events,
she was sold to parties in New Orleans
six years before the battle of New Or
leans. Her birthplace had been in the
West Indies, on the Island of San
Domingo, whence she was stolen and
taken to Savannah, Ga. It was then
she was brought to New Orleans. At
that time she had already been o mother
some years. 1t was therefore safe in
fixing her age at over 100 years.
Mamys" first master was Mr..
Allard, who sold her to Chevallier de
Reggie, the maternal great grandfather
of General G.. 7. Beauregard. kinsman
of the reigning dukes of the day, who
was sent to Louisiana, where he was
afterwards made "Alferez Real" When
General Beauregard was born in 1918,
in ST. Bernard parisH, q short distance
below the city, "Mamy" WAS the wet
nurse selected for him. She served her
young master faithfully for eleven years,
until he was sent away for his educa-
ton.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
History of the Predatory Rodent.

The Pied Piper. of Boston, who makes
a business of finding dead rats in peo-
pies walls and floors at SIS apiece, gave
the writer some interesting information
the other day regarding the history and
derivation of the predatory rodent. He
said that he had studied up the subject,
his business having naturally gwen rise
to an interest in the long tailed vermin,
and this is what he learned
Rats, like the human race, it seems,
are supposed to have come originally
from Asia. Doubtless a pair of them
inhabited the hold of Noah's Ark
during the Deluge. They may be di-
vided into two great varieties, the black
and the brown. The black rat entered
Europe by way of Astrachan, four CEN
turies ago; and the brown or Norway
rat followed about 200 years later. The
brown rat is not, properly speaking, q
Norway rat at all, but q Persian rat. At
any rate, it was thought that Persia was
its birthplace. The black rat went over
to England with William the Conquer
or, and the brown rat accompanied the
Hanoverian dynasty in its voyage across
the channel. These facts are historical
The brown rat, being larger and fiercer
than the black rat, has almost driven his
weaker cousin out of existence. 1t is
not so very many years since the COM
mon rat in this country was the black
variety with the long tail and big ears,
and the brown rats we're known as ''ship
rats or "dock rats" But in accordance
with the principle of the survival of the
fitiest, they have already spread over
all the inhabited portions of this con-
tinent. Though scarcely regarded as
agreeable companions by man, the rats
follow him everywhere in the wake of
civilization as it progresses. In London
sewers experts earn q decent livelihood
by catching them at three shillings a
dozen, and in Paris q grand rat-batue
is regarded as n tremendously festive
celebration once year below the
streets and pavements. 1t is said that
the frogs, formerly plentiful in ireland,
have been eaten clean off the Emerald
Isle by rats. Tie bite of a rat is always
dangerous, that of sewer rat particu-
larly so, the teeth being in q manner
poisoned by the garbage. In China rats
dried and split are considered dainty,
and in Siam the little beasts are kept as
pets instead of cats.-Pjcayune.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
Convincing a Merchant.

cts singular thing" remarked a
prominent dry goods man, show coun-
| try merchants coming here to buy, re-
fuse to believe that we are selling goods
at fair price and insist on trying to cut
us down on everything. l had an ex-
perience the other day which is III point.
A merchant from down in Indiana came
In and began to look over things with
one of my clerks. We try to sell on the
one price principle. He asked the price
of some prints. The clerk told him the
price. He offered three cents yard
! less.
This is one-price house. said the
clerk. We can mako no reduction
Nonsense said this smart man
from the country. you needn't try to
fool me with any such stuff as that I'll
give you three cents less
"And the clerk could not persuade
him that he was telling him the truth,
finally coming to me in despair. I went
out and took the man in hand. [ offered
him goods at from three to five cents
above the marked price, and then would
take whatever he offered me. He finish
ed his purchases, slapped me on the
back, remarking: That's something like.
None of your one price business for me,
and went out. In the afternoon he came,
back, and had two bills made out for,
him. The first I handed him was made
up from his own prices. 1t was for
about 800. He looked at it and said:
Those are good prices. Oh, you can't
get ahead of me with your one-pr,c e
business Then / handed him tue
second, which was made up of the actual
prices at which we had been selling.
1t was over 800 less.
"'What's that? said be.
"'Thats the bill we want you to pay.
That is what the goods cost you at our
prices I wanted to show you how
easily you could be fooled by thinking
you knew moro about our business than
we do ourselves
"He paid the bill meekly and thanked
me for his lesson. '-T0led0 Blade.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
Changing the Leonard SHOTS.

changing the leopard spots" is the
newest scheme in church fairs. The
minister stretches large piece of white
cloth across the end of the room. On it
is drawn in charcoal representation of
q leopard, with its mouth open and its
tail trailing on the ground. About forty
pieces of circular black cloth couple
of inches in diameter are fastened all
over the leopard with pins. Can the
leopard change his spots?" says the
preacher, repeating the Biblical ques-
ton. 1t can by simple process. Each
one in the congregation pays 81 and
buys spot until the leopard resembles
white calf. Then the game is repeated
until everybody, even the leopard, is
perfectly satisfied with the result.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
DR. Holmes and Byron.

DIR. Oliver Wendell Holmes speaks Of
Byron as "the poet of malcontents and
cynics," and adds that "he should be
read in prison CELL" The rhymester
of "The One-Horse Shay" passing
Judgment on the poet of Don JUAN
"Cain," and "Childe Harolds Pilgrim
age" is certainly something very re-
freshingl
1t may be that Byron should be read
gin prison." but certainly no one OUT
side of an insane asylum will ever I'M
dertake to read, as poetry, anything
DR.. Holmes has ever written. There is
not a single one of what his Eastern adj
mirers call his "poems," that rises
one step above the level of the COM
monplace mediocre poetry of the CEN
tury.-Alera1lder ~ De Menil, IN ST
Louis Magazine.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
Tales Told by Antique Tablets.

Eighty-one cuniform tablets have
come into the possession of the British
Museum this year, says the London
Court Journal. They were bought at
sale in Cairo, and had originally come
from the tomb of an officer of one of the
ancient kings.
Mr.. Bulge, the Psychologist has cat
alogued the collection and has brought
to light some profoundly interesting
revelations on the history of the Jews in
Egypt before the Exodus. The royal
scribe who left these records lived in the
time of Amenophis the Third and
Fourth, of the eighteenth dynasty.
The deciphering of the inscriptions
shows that the most of them were letters
addressed to Amenophis the Third, by
Tushratta, king OF Mesopotamia. tEhe
former, like many royal moderns, was
fond of hunting, and was very successful
too, for it is recorded that he slew with
his own hand one hundred and two lions
in Mesopotamia He fell in love with
ii, the daughter of Tushratta, and III
took with her to Egypt three hundred
and seventeen of her principal ladies'
This was no inconsiderable Semetic set
Element at the Egyptian Court, bot it
was followed by still greater immigpa-
ton of the race, and the inference is
that they were in favor. 1t was under,
the nineteenth dynasty that they were
set to make bricks and build high walls
and pyramids.
Three of the letters translated by Mr..
Bulge give us graphic pictures of life
at court, and the compacts that mon
archs arrange, and the compliments and
presents they bestow on one another.
The Oriental art of using fowery Ian
guage was even then perfect art, and
wealth in vessels of precious stones and
lapis-lazuli seems to have abounded.
Tushratta, in pleading that his son
may go down to Egypt to marry a
daughter of the king states that in his
kingdom, gold is like dust, which can
not be counted" Another letter to
Amenophis the Third, from the king of
Alashiza, indicates advanced ideas ON
international relationship and courte-
sizes. The historian has some material
to work upon in the study of these tab
LOTS
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
A Bewildering COnjuring Trick.

81 should like to tell you of remark
able conjuring trick L saw performed
while on voyage from London to Cal
cutta. Tho conjurer was a Parsee,
whom you might have taken for a re-
spectacle servant out of place, but who
was actually small land owner who
WAS travelling for pleasure, and had
taken up con uring as an amusement.
Spreading white cloth on the deck oil
the steamer, he sat down with his back
resting against the companion hatch.
As soon as he had settled himself, he
turned to one of our fellow voyagers and
asked for the loan of rupee, which he
requested should be given to one of the
ladies present. =. The lady took it, and at
the request of the conjurer looked at it
and declared it to be really rupee.
The conjurer then told the lady to hand
it back to the gent leman from whom he
had borrowed it. The gentleman took
it, and then followed the following dia-
logue:
"Conjurer: Are you sure that is a
rupee2'
Fellow Voyager: Yes.
"Coniurer: sClose your hand upon it
and hold it tight. Now think of some
country in Europe, but do not tell me
your thought
Now open your hand, said the Jug,
gler. See what you have got, and tell
me if il is coin of the country you
thought Of
sit was q five-franc piece, and our
friend had thought of france. He was
going to hand the coin to the Parsee,
but the latter said: No; pass it to
another sahib.' As l happened to be
the nearest, tho fivefrano piece was
handed TO me. | looked closely Mt 1t,
then shutting my hand l thought of
America. When 1 opened it found
Mexican dollar. This [ handed to the
gentleman on my right, wfo in turn
thought of Russia, and on opening his
hand found q Russian silver piece IN
place of the Mexican dollar. The Jug
gler performed many other tricks during
the voyage. but they were OF common
place kind, and III no way comparable
to the coin trick, which | have never
seen rivaled. "-ScieAt.f c american.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31

enveloping the whole building. Some
sixty hogsheads of wine in the store
could not only not be saved, but burst,
and their contents ran into ditch IN
the garden behind the house. Here the
tiremen placed their engines, with which
they poured streams of wine upon the
burning building, and succeeded IN get
ting the ire under control. The fumes
OF the wine were so strong that the ire
men had to be repeat dly relieved.
PROBABLY the most unique railroad
pass issued this year is that OF the Sill
verton Railroad Company of Colorado.
1t IS thin silver plate about the size
and shape of the passes in general use.
On the upper left-hand corner OF the
face of the plate is vignetto showing a
curve of the road between Silverton and
Ouray. The pass is rolled from silver
bars and stamped. The vignette and
lette ing, with the exception OF Presl-
dents name being in relief. The name
is intaglio, and is gilded, as are the Wig
nette and scroll. The number OF pass
and name of person to whom 1t is issued
ore engraved by hand.
AT Point Labos near San Francisco,
there is suspended out in the waters OF
the Pacific big wooden pendulum, SO
arranged that q surface six feet by twelve
is exposed to the waves. The action OF
the waves causes the pendulum to swing,
and the swinging of the big pendulum
works O huge pump, which raises the
sea water to height of $50 feet. 1t IS
proposed to conduct this water to San
Francisco and use it for running turbine
Nx-Irn aIJ nd al tnT.Q
cars, supplying saltwater baths, sprlnk-
ling the streets, and flushing the sewers.
In the Pine Grove Mines, Esmeralda
county, New, there is blind boy en-
ployed to do errands, tend cars, ana the
like. He has most remarkable faculty
iof finding his way, not only through the
tntricacies of the mine, but about the
town. He goes to any part OF the mine
for tools and never goes astray, and on
dark nights he guides the other miners
from the town to the house where most
of them lodge. They can't easily find
the way without him, for the trail is mar
row and crooked, and on each side are
rmany prospect holes and old cellars.
PERSONS waiting for q train ct an
Omaha depot tho other day were startled
at hearing the wall of an infant coming
from trunk near the baggage room.
They got around the trunk, put their
heads down, listened, and We're sure they
heard not only the cry, but the move,
ment of the child. Nothing was Mt hand
to break open the trunk, SO they all
pulled out their keys, and one was found
that unlocked it. The lid was raised in
q jiffy and within they saw an old Nal
tese cat and five very young kittens.
Mn. CHARLES W. CooMBs, taxider-
mist, of Belfast, Me-, in preparing to
mount great horned owl last week,
found the owls body full of quilts. The
flesh was LITERALLY packed full of them.
as we'll rs the roof of the mouth. The
owl evidently had d'ned on hedgehog.
TIE fishing schooner Northern Eagle
caught in Ipswich bay, on travis, and
carried into Portsmouth, N. H., trem-
endcus shovel nose, man-eatlng shark.
He WIS twelve feet long, nine feet
around, and weighed about $4,000
pounds.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
Eating With the Fingers.

The nations which still eat with the
fingers defend the practise on the
ground of cleanliness. A Malay gentle
man regards the use of fork much as
we would think of the use OF borrowed
tooth pick, He is troubled by the re-
Election that it has been i'll other mouths
and that some lazy servant may have
neglected to wash it properly. The
care of his fingers are in his own charge,
and h- knows that they are clean and
that they have never been i'll any one S
else mouth. Science Monthly.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
by Their NeighbOrs' Candle

There are hundreds of business men
who like to get near great advertising
house who never themselves advertise.
They like to do their work by the light
of their enterprising neighbor's candle.
Such men never bald up city or take
part in its life. If they make money,
the heirs at law, after the funeral, hunt
for it among broken pots, and find it
slowed away in old stockings Chicago
Inter- Ocean.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
London PeOpIe very susp,c,ous.

The plight of man who meets lady
in London and wishes to take her some
where off quietly is pitiable. 1t may be
his own wife, and probably is, in the
majority of instances, but he is treated
with an amount of suspician and sar-
casm that would make a horse blush.
1t is not only utterly impossible for him
to get private room in any but one or
two very disreputable hotels down near
Piccadilly Circus, but he cannot go into
any of the little alcoves in which many
of the dining-rooms abound unless
there are four in the party.-BIakely
Hall, IN Ne1O York Sun.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31

Years before the war came on
Many" was given her freedom by the
Beauregard family. She continued to
linger about the old homestead, and
was treated with kindness and affection.
She saw her children, grandchildren and
great grandchildren grow up about her.
Only one child remains-a daughter
about eighty years of age. There are
numerous grandchildren and great
grandchildren still living.
FRANCHISE Cimilien was small in height
and physique. Her health has always
been excellent until three days before
her taking off, when she was taken with
pneumonia. She WAS inclined to be
gay even at her age, and loved to talk
on the many and varied events of her
past life.-Ne,o Orleans PtcdyaGRe.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
Lung Trouhlcs md Wasting

Disc asses can be cured, If properly treated In
time, as shown ~ following statement
from d. g. FREEMAN, 5ydn.., Having been
a great sufferer from pulmonary attacks, and
gradually wasting away for the past two yea :,
it affords me pleasure to testify taat SCoTT'p
EMUL.s on of Cod Liver Oil with Lime sd
Soda has given IN great relief, and chez full
ly recommend IL to n / suffering in a similar
way to myself. In addition, would say thai
1t is WY pleasant to takS.n
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31

George--That is q beautiful piece,
Laura, and you have played it most soul
fully. But what is that rumbling noise
1 have been hearing nearly all the tins
since / came in?
Laura-It must be the wind. Elk
cuse me moment. Goes into the
kitchen.) Mother can't you take that
washtub into the back basement. II
doesn't chord with the piano.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31

My dear your mouth is a perfect
ooem."
ooh how can you say such q thing
Is that2"
"Well, it is like q popular poem, at
east. 1t is so widely red."
And the matrimonial mercury fell
'orty degrees at once.-Terre Haute En-
2Te2S
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31

Would use Kemp's Balsam for the Throat and
Lungs. 1t is curing more cases Of Coughs,
Colds, Asthma, Bronchitis, Group md all
Throat and Lung Troubles. than any other
medicine. The proprietor has authorized any
druggist to give you Il Sample Bottle Free to
convince you of the merit of this great remedy.
Large Bottles soc and 81.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
Aged PEOPLE

Whose blood has become thin or impure, espec-
tally liable attacks of rheumatism that weak
called general debility" The pains and aches
Of the former relieved by Hoods Sarsaparilla.
which purfes AID vitazes the blood. while it also
tones and builds up the whole system.
MY wife and myself were both generally run
down Hoods Sarsaparilla brought out Of that
tired feeling, and made feel like young people
again. 1t has done more for than all other medi-
zines together" RICHARD HAwKHURsT. Amityville,
T TsIoy
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
AN OLD YARN.

"Graciousl how well it is preserved"
said one travelling man to another MS
they gazed at a mummy in museum,
sit looks rs if it might wake up and
speak if you could only arouse it with
some familiar words"
$50 it does. Suppose you try it With
that story you just told me-"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31

When Mrs. W. A. Brown feels a nervous
headache approaching, she has learned to
repel it surely by taking one Eureka capsule.
See advertisement
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-01-31
DISCORD.

For several distressing indispositions, Their,
is no remedy so specific in action as tn,
Eureka medicine advertised elsewhere.