The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-06-06
shiIoh's Catarrh Remedy,

Gus cure for catarrh, diphtheria, cankel
mouth, and headache. With each bot
tie there is an ingenious nasal injector
for the more successful treatment o
these complaints without extra charge
Price 50 cents Sold by j. 7. Shurtleif
Bennington.
Are you the girl who was to come tC
our house as a nurse P" asked a fashion
able lady ofthe hea thy-looking girl who
had just entered the room. Il am.
ma'am." II have examined your refer.
ences, and find them satisfactory. You
may beg n next week. But if We p'aze,
ma'am, I'd ike to ask yez wan question. .
"What is it ?" 'Is tia baby or a poog
dog that am to look afther p
One Hundred Ladies' Wanted,
AMI 100 men to call on any druggist for
free trial package Of Lanes Family
Medicine, the great root and herb rem.
edy, discovered by Or. Sia4 Lane while
in the Rocky Mountains. For diseases
Of the blood, liver and kidneys it il a
positive cure. For constipation and
clearing up the complexion it does won.
ders. Children like it, Every one prais-
es il. Large So package, so cents. A.
all druggists
Landlady-"Does the turkey suit you.
Mr.. McGinnis ?" BOarder-"It is excel.
lent, Mrs. Hashwell. do relieve thai
cook of yours could roast a side of sole
leather and make it tender and palatable.
That is Feeling confusedly that he has
made blunder), mean, of course, ten
der enough for me. I'm not-ah-at all
particular, you know. can-er-worry
down any kind of cooking, Mrs. Hash
WELL Landlady Gcily)-"Thank you,
Mr. McGinnis."
The attention of the passengers in a
Canadian smoking car was riveted on a
strangely behaved negro. lie rocked
himse ( from side to side without ceas-
ing. What's the matter with you Pr
asked traveller who was in the car.
Does you know Dan McGary ?" "Yes. :"
well, sab, he sold me a SLIDER watch
for twenty dollars" continued the negro,
still swaying from side to side IAN ef
/ stops movin' dis here way de watch
don go no NOAH"
Young wife-"Why, dear, you were
the stroke oar at college, weren't you P"
Young husband-"Yes, love" "And a
very prominent member of the gymnas-
tic class ?" 81 was the leader. " "And
quite a hand at all athletic exercises ?"
Quite hand My gracious was
the champion walker, the best runner,
the head man at lifting heavy weights,
and as for carrying-why, i could Shout
der a barrel of Hour and" swell. love,
just please carry the baby couple Of
hours. am tired"
l was troubled with catarrh and hay
fever for thirty years. Have suffered a
great deal. My eyes, ears and throat
were greatly effected. MIR. Kinney, the
druggist, induced me to try Ely's Cream
Balm, and for the past two years have
had very little trouble. have lived IN
Webster, Mass, and Rockville. Conn.
Very respectfully, J. W. Pratt. Monson,
Mass.
have improved greatly since usIng
Ely's Cream Balm for catarrh. feel
like new man. 1t is a Blessing to hu-
manity.-John ID. Farrell, Hartford,
Conn.
A Pitt sburg, Pa, doctor says he can
diagnose ailments by examining a sim
gle hair Of the patient. Two young
men, as joke, took hair from bay
horse. The doctor gravely wrote a pre-
scriptiOn, and said his fee was S25, as
the case was precarious. They were
staggered, but paid the fee, and after
they got out laughed all the way to the
apothecary's. The latter took the pre-
scription and read in amazement Zone
bushel of oats, four quarts of water,
stir well, and give three times a day
and turn the animal out TO grass !" Then
the jokers stopped laughing.
She glided into the Office and quietly
approached the editors desk 81 have
written poem" she began. Well"