davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
THE LAUGH1NG PHILOSOPHERS.


Every community has its fools, and some
are afiicted with fool fools.-IrdfdndpoISs Jour-
A crossed woman is nearly as dangerous
as = crossed electric wire.-Karthd's Vineyard
Herald.
A Massachusetts, artisan has become 70 re-
fined in his ideas that he calls himself black
smythe.-Asrchdnt 7raUetsr.
81 have an eysout for the Maine chance"
remarked q Representative . few days ago who
was trying to catch speaker Reeds attention.
Nero York World.
"Hello, Brown, why on earth have you
those plugs in your ears?''
TO keep my wife from telling me what she's
going to give me for Christmas.-Ifne.
That Christmas comes but once year
VIII e'er hold trne. / fOndly trusted,
For certain tits that when tits here
get bankrupted, strapped and busted.
-Hsl0 Kork Commercial AdUerttssr.
Better Than He eThought-Patient-T That
medicine you gave me for my cold, DOCTOR cured
me entirely.
Doctor tn s1rpriss)-Did I'll Wen. blamed II I
don't believe III try It myself. IcanH get rid of
mine.-Ttme.
Blobbs-Getting rich out West, are your
Dobbs-You bet am.
''What are you coingg''
'tPainting dgn-posts with the word Chicago
on. 70 put up IN Illinois and show travellers where
they are when they are lost. ''-Tfns.
Two Harvard Graduates.-Rey. DR.. Dis
cord-Why. dear Jack. am glad to see you. You
are looking so well. What have you been DONG
Jack scraRRs-Pitching for League eiao -
ss, 900 year. what are you doingH
Diseord-Preaehing for q chapel 81 w . yeAf'-
Tssas SVtinos.
WHY HE REJoIcEs.
Now the ba1d-headed manin his boarding.
house bed
Only one present blessing can seei
A The white snow sifss IN on his paralYEed head,
BE can SAY There are no aies on ns,''
-Tszas SfftfnQa.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
Opposed to the strike.

To the Editor Of The Dispatch:
In your issue Of Monday see two articles in
reference to the strike now in progress on the
Monongahela rlver The first is from miner
He begs leave 70 contradict leading coal
operator in regard tothe miners being dissatls-
fed. will say right here that there are
miners, and great many Of them. dissatisfied.
and who have been from the nrst-meu who were
opposed to the strike ever taking place, and
many that voted for 3 cents, now admit that
they would rather have continued at the old
rate.
What concerns US most is that the Kanawha
river is increasing its output every year, while
we are almost az standstill. We declare a
strike every year for q much better rate than
is being paid on the Kanawha. The result Is
that these men are steadily employed, while we
perhaps get three or four months work year.
What the KanaWha miners cannot furnish is
our share IN supplying the Southern markets
The only way to remedy this is to work at rates
that will correspond with the wages Of those
who mine coal for the same market; II not We
shall never better our condition.
COAL. MINER
New ENGLAND. Pa. December q.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
A NOVEL BLUE BOOK.
Society Stirred Up Over a Proposed De
rectOry of the Elite.

Society Stirred Up Over a Proposed DE-
rectOry of the Elite.
PITTsFTELD, MASS December 22.-Fashion-
able Pittstield is all agog over the audacious
venture of DR.. Gilman Colby, editor of a Bar
Harbor summer newspaper, who proposes to
publish blue book of the local 400" The
suggestion itself did not displease people so
much as the manner of its execution.
The doctor introduced an unheard of innoVa-
tiOn by which the financial ratiugs of the sew
eral hundred members Of the social swim
were to be affixed to their names, somewhat
after the manner of Bradstreers. A man or
woman's money possessions were not to be
designated by so many figures, but by means
of a number of mysterious stars, daggers
asterisks, ETC., with an explanatory index
IN the appendix. Proof sheets were
sent through the mails-to the persons con-
cerned, with request for corrections If neces-
sary, and a polite reminder that copies of the
blue-book were to be had At 81 eacb only by
subscribers. Society was outraged at the idea
Of having private fortunes thus scandalonsly
Haunted in the face of the public and inSiigna.
tion meetings were in order
Another source of trouble was the fact that
the names of people having next to no social
pretensions were to be IN the book The upshot
of the matter has been concerted movement
to suppress the ambitious caterer to public
curiosity. but exactly by what means remains
to be seen.
The local press Is full of letters from the So
called victims. DR.. Colby meanwhile calmly
SURVEYS the tempest in the social teapot, and
contends that the liberty Of the press shall not
be infringed.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
DEATHS OF A DAY.
Hon. Orsnmus B. nratrison.

UTICA, N. T., December 22.-Hon. Orsamus b.
Mattison, of this city, died to-day, aged 81 years.
He was representative in Congress from this dis
trict in the Thirty-frst Tnirty-third, Thirty
fourth and Thirty-ffth Congresses. While in
Congress In lS58-57 Mr.. Mattison was charged with
declaring that large number Of members of Con-
gress were purchnsable. The affair caused great
excitementin Congress and throughout the coun-
try. A resolution ordering his expulsion was of
fered in the House, but after long and bitter de-
bate IL was finally tabled. Before II could be
called up again MIR. Mattison resigned bis seat.
other prominent persons in the National Hotel in
Washington were poisoned. It was believed to
be pro-slavery plot to murder Rresident-elect
Buchanan and seat Vice President BreckinridRe.
MIR. Mattison was one Of those poisoned and came
very near dying. In fact, his health was affected
permanently. During the later years Of his life
he engaged In several disastrous business enter
prises and dled comparatively poor.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
A GRAND NUMBER.
Ys.,.ra.,. Ew.nl,.ras. DI.pa.sA m..I

YesterdayaH Twenty-Page Dispatch M0al
Excellent in Every Way.
THE DISPATCH yesterday gave its readers q
pages of amusing, interesting and instructive
reading matter. 1t was an intellectual feast,
from which no one could arise hungry, mas
much as the tastes and Hkings Of all were con.
sidered and gratifed.
The cable news told Of the terrible influenza
plague which RACES across the water. The
most exalted persons are sufferers. and even
the great Kaiser is not exempt The London
Globe warns England to treat Canada gently.
A great reception at Albert Hail. London has
been prepared for Stanley and Emin Pasha.
One of the American dynamiters in Chatham
Jail very nearly effected his escape. Young
Abraham Lincoln is pronounced out Of danger.
A rising in Portugal is looked forward to.
Lord Salisbury still maintains his position in
regard to that kingdom.
1t is said that Calvin Brice will be barred
from the Ohio Senatorship on account OF his
being New York citizen. A. prominent
Gotham Chinaman has skipped with $4,000 and
a beautiful white girl. Ex-Congressman Scott
is said to be booming Congressman Mutchler's
chances for Governor of pennsylvania.
Speaker Reed has published his list of House
committeeman, and Pennsylvania fares ex-
ceIlently. Juryman Culver stands up for his
opinion In the Cronin case, ne noios tnas
Longenecker was a great deal 700 omoious'
Another Yale freshman mas peen leo INTO max
rlmony py one OF tne college WIDOWS, Onina- IA
man in Manitoba was soundly hogged for his
SINS E1-Fresioent Sie.elAnu aoei esses sne
Corneh university OiuD WIN WA ~uu e'O-
quence.
IL
Quite an amount OF ln1ormauon mas Oeen
gatnereo oy IHE DlsPATch Ansns one l ru-
mored pennsylvania halroao oeal IN OneEry
alley property A numoer Oh canoloases ior
the suburban postomces are out On tue sas
PAIN fiucAy Omcer 1onn rSV~ou s.-s.
IN Srresr,ng noeOT,ous 1,.' I9usr Cae.s
ngnE Ane rloenty Alsle anu ls p~ts, .,I
as Asslgnee, PROPOSES ,sO nAAo .sSv so
Lawrence D~nk hussle' Iossuesoh sI.~ .n o-.
nSs Usen SAnquesea " niS -.e.-a n,o -, - r.,,l-
- uIt.9.,,s nAs oee Ts;ol- 80 tha pa-l-
11 p-. 70 s ,'"o,- 20 s,S.a a. :. sa;d
p-;u,.'o,s ,,s,,oi ,-o.i,,- -oT;or of sno-ss is
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

To the Editor Of The Dispatch:
The gift of Sir Edward Guinness, mentioned
under the above heading in THE DISPATCH Of
December 49, Is an excellent project but the
example set is of even greater value. Il is a
strange fact that rich men who owe their for
tunes to their own exertions, supply almost all
the instances of munihcent giving; while those
who have inherited fortunes have for some
reason been wanting.
That absolutely nothing can be done to make
lives more human, 80 long as people are
doomed to live in the degrading environment
Of filthy sluns, Is the opinion of all practical
philanthropists. Therefore scheme to pro
vide cleanly, healthy houses, to be maintained
on self-supporting basis with reinvestment OF
rents for the furtneranee Of the object, must
help to solve one of the most pressing ques-
tions of civilization, and may furnish the ele-
mentary conditions necessary for the social re-
demption of the masses.
Mr.. Peabody expended g.. .250.OO0 in the same
good work, ana IL cannot be denied that ne has
maoe life more healthy, more decent and more
human for thousands Of British artisans. But
the Peabody buildings have been TOO expen-
sive for the unskilled workman and casual
laborer, and for this reason Sir Edward has
made 1t q condition that the dwellings shall be
for the "laboring poo" believing that his OBJ
ject can be accomplished and the tenements let
at such rents as will place them within the
reach Of the poorest Of the laboring population.
The experiment will be watched with sympa-
thetic interest, and it Is to be hoped that not
only the present but future generations will
bless their benefactor in his attempt to make
home Hfe homely and happy. Q. W, r
WALsroN, PA, December 20.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
A MILLIONAlRE'S PALACR.
YOnug George W. VnnderbIIt's Private Park
ut AshevfIle, n. G.

Youug George W. VunderbtltB Private Park
ut AsEeviIle, N. G.
Ashevine IN. CO. Letter in Philadelphia Times.l
George W. Vanderbilt, the youngest of the
sons of the late William h. Vanderbilt, is de.
termined in addition to his well-known palace
in New York, to have the most magnificent
private park and the lordliest country estate
in America. To that end he has recently
bought at cost of $4,000, nearly
5000 acres lying just outside of this
town-a tract Of land fully one-third larger
than your magnificent Fairmount Park, about
one-third of the acreage of which lies under the
Schuylkill and the Wissahiekon. His land
scape gardener is already at work laying out
and beautifying these extensive grounds at an
expense of $4,000 more. His architect is busy
preparing the plans for lordly pleasure house,
like an old-style French chateau, which will
cost an additional S400 0e0.
His model stables which will be scattered
over the 5000 acres, for the purpose OF housing
thousands of horses and cattle of the very
bluest of blue bovine blood, will cost, 1t is said
at least 500 900 more. So you see that the esti-
mated cost already foots up to the magnificent
sum of s.. 20U 600. The shortest distance from
the stately entrance gates to the still stateiier
mansion of the lord of this vast estate will be
four miles by magnificent roadway go feet
wide, and it is said that there will be more
than 50 miles Of macadamized roads within the
grounds
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
A REAR MARKET ON TITLES.

1t seems, according to the latest reports
from Paris, that Miss Caldwell and Prince
Murat have come to terms The princely
wooer has made strenuous effort to obtain
the fanciest of prices for himself; but owing
to the absence of competition in the prince
market, be has been compelled to come
down to the price of the sole buyer. On
the other hand the lady was in the market
for actusl purchase. She is not buying for
speculation; but will take her title out Of
the market for actual consumption. There
fore it is fair to conclude that the market
value Of not at all ancient title, encum-
bered with rather direputable incumbent.
is about s1O, 900 year and found.
The entire transaction bears a strong re-
semblance to what travellers tell us Of the
manner in which shopping is conducted in
the East. You inspect an article in the bazsars
of Constantinople, and on asking the price
are told that it is q hundred plastres You
contemptuously offer ten pisstres; whereat
the merchant so atches the article from you,
only to offer It to you at ninety, just as you
are turning away LhS OperatlOh - IL
peated, with q reduction of the price to
eighty, seventy and so on down until you
finally raise your bid to fifteen, and the
merchant lets you have it. protesting that
he Is ruined. On taking your purchase
home and submitting it to experts you find
that you have got something, the market
price Of which is about half what you have
paid.
This sort Of chatering is generally con-
sidered ridiculous by Occidental civiliza-
tiOn; but since it has been INDUCED In by a
representative Of French aristOcracy and an
American heiress, Il cannot longer be
laughed at Il has enabled Miss Caldwell
&c buy het prince at her own terms; and
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
NEARLY ALL CAN GO HOME.
Long Holiday Recess Warmly Welcomed
by COugressmeu.
rrRon STAFF CORRESPONDENCE


IRON A STAFF CORRESPONDENCE
WAsHrNeToN, December 22-The long
recess from December q to January g. one of
the longest holiday recesses on record, has
given opportunity for Congressman living at a
distance to 60 home and remain there for
both Christmas and New Years turkey, and a
great majority of the members have either
already taken advantage Of it or are about to
do SO. Scores of them shouldered their grip
sacks and took train to-day, and among them
were nearly all Of the Pennsylvania members
who are not established here with their
families
A very quiet holiday season is expected.
which will be somewhat heightened in dullness
by the mourning gloom which pervades the
Executive Mansion, and which will make the
New Year reception, usually the one really
brilliant affair Of the holidays. as sub.
dued and formal as possible. Hundreds
of the accustomed crowd of that
day will remain away, either because
Mrs Harrison will not be seen. out of respect
for her mourning, and as the White House 81.
mosphere affects society at large, holiday fes-
tvities in general like political and legislative
affairs are expected to be very tame compared
with other recent years
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
TO MY SISTER.
E. WI.

A cHHfsTMAs PRESENT.
You have welded, dearest Jessie,
And have drifted far away;
But before the gap grows wider
Ihsve just one word to say.
Christmas time, they say, is coming,
And each friend or lover true
Gives to each kind remembrancei
But what can give to you?
You have wealth and rarest beauty;-
You have everything, and more,
Though know your heart turns kindly
To the good old days Of yore.
Golden bands your wrists eneircie,
Diamonds fash, bright as your eyes
And your face or sweet contentment
Breathes OF home beyond the skies.
There Is nothing can offer
That have. and you have not;-
'Twouid be giving what was given,
'rwould De buying what was bought,
/ Though methinks there is jewel
y, Precious as the heavens above.
lean give you Christmas morning
only thiss-a brother's love.
3 = HARR1 n. aArrnxR.
PrTTsBUAG, December, 1852.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

UNDER the interposition of other, and
possibly more important, political events, it
has nearly been forgotten that the nation is
as far as ever from finding out who was elected
as Governor Of West Virginia Governor
Wilson, whose term expired nearly year ago,
still holds on to the office; while Governor Goff
and Governor Fleming are each trying to get
the place to which only one of them is en-
titled. West Virginia is an illustration Of the
surest way to wreck popular Government.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
Benjamin II. Day.

NEW YORK, December O. Benjamin H Day,
founder of the SUM- died yesterday, at his home,
IS East Twenty-fth street. Of old age, in his soth
OF Samuel Bowles, father OF the present pub
Usher Of the Springfield, Mass, Republican.
After coming to New York he was comp0sitor
on the EUentaQ Post, Commercial Adrerftser and
other papers and on Tuesday, September 3 1888
he issued from u by 16 room on the ground floor
OF 2z2 William street the nrst copy Of the sun.
He printed IL himself on 9 little hand press,
capable Of doing about three copies minute.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

SPEAKER REED is reported to be un-
packing his heart with sarcasms at the expense
of the President. The outspokenness of the
statesmen who have not got the offices they
wanted is something phenomenal. Who re-
marked that the possession of patronage
strengthens party?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

THE young woman of Huntington, W:
Va, who deluged her recreant lover with a
kettle Of boiling water has possibly furnished
him with valid excuse for failing to come to
time and marry her. The promise of hot water
in married life, furnished by this act, is too
tangible for cautious man to ignore.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

SENATOR CHANDLER and the Hon.
John r. Thomas are determined to crush each
others ambition to be regarded as the dry
nurse of the new navy. If their fight has the
same outcome as the battle Of the Kilkenny
cats. the navy may congratulate itself on its
good fortune.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
Never Heard of BouIanser.

From the Chicag6ln Ocean.I
When someone mentioned the name of
Boulanger in the presence of Henry M. Stanley,
the explorer asked: "Who is Boulanger? 1
never heard of him before" This illustrates
how brief acareer some noted men may have.
Stanley was in the wilds Of Africa for less than
three years. and in that time Boulanger rose
from obscurity to the greatest rotoriety in
France. and dropped back to his original
obscurity again. Well might Stanley ask the
auaction
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

MIR. EDWARD BELLAMY wishes to re-
form society so as to make women independent
Of men for their means Of support The titled
husbands of American heiresses viii not OBJ
ject provided he does not disturb the depend
ence of husbands on the fortunes of their rich
wives
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

Mr.. KELLEY has again been explaining
to gathering of his Philadelphia friends that
his motor will mote. The fact that he said so
ten years ago, might be held to discredit his as
sertion now in another city. But the Philadel-
phia idea regards it as quite proper that ii
should require fifteen or twenty years more to
get up mere motor.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

THE direct tax refunding bill is an
nounced to be slated for an early passage in
this Congress. This will reduce the surplus if
passed, but it will also make Mr.. Oates get up
and howl in a way that may scare the measure
of the track.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

fo the Editor OF The Dispatch:
What can be done with the Cronin suspects
in case new trial 1s secured7
ALnEaHENY. December q.
[They can be convicted and sentenced 10
death. Bsggs cannot be tried again, because
he has been acquitsed.l
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
Reed Myers FunsraL

The funeral services OF the late Reed Myers, the
well-known contractor on the hill, were held at
his residence. OverhiI1 street, yesterday after
noon. Rev. J. r. Patterson, Of the sixth Presby-
terian Church, delivered an Affecting address 70
the friends. The members OF Iron City Lodge i.
o. .. F., had charge Of the funeral. The iatef-
ment took place in the Minersvflle German Gene
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

THE killing of fdeer within ten miles of the
city, which was probably a stray from the wilds
of Clarion county, is an unusual occurrence of
sufficient interest to condone fracture of the
game laws
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

Mr.. MCKINLEY is reported to be am
bilious of reporting the shortest tariff revision
bill on record. II he succeeds in making the
shortest debate on the tariff, as well the nation
will forgive him.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

upon inspecting her purchase in the leisure
of her home life, she will discover that what
ever she paid for him, he is not worth it.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

THE two weeks vacation for the Congress-
men give our legislators chance to enjoy q
long holiday before they have done any work
worth mentioning.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23
TRI-STATE TRIPLES.


THE sequel to rather pecpliar incident has
lust been brought to light in which fish and
an engagement ring were the principal actors.
Some months ago man living near Wellsville
caught large catfish in the Ohio river. On
cutting it open gold ring with an opal setting
was found in its stomach with the initials N. g.
F. ID. on the inner lace of the band BY an
accident this came to the notice Of MI. Frede-
rick Dunham, OF Springfield, ILL.,, and on exam
nation he pronounced it the engagement ring
which he hadlgiven his wife IL years before and
which she had lost on Missouri river steamer
few years after their marriage.
S1xTY-FIvE tons of butter were shipped from
Montgomery county to Liverpool By Samuel
@. Freed recently.
FRANK BoRHM. q Bethlehem restaurant
keeper, weighing A5 pounds, walked to Heller
town, four miles distant, in an hour and
quarter, on wager.
A METEOR of great illuminating power
passed over Forkston, Wyoming county. on
Thursday night, and in minute thereafter
heavy report was heard, and the earth shook
perceptibly.
WILLIAM TITUS, who died recently AZ Ene
Wilhamsport Almshouse, selected the stone
and design for his tombstone ID years ago
and paid for it at the same time.
A PRIVATE telephone between his office and
his home. was recently put MP by merchant
living in Wheeling. When his daughter put
her ear to it the other day. she received
terrible shock. Not an electric shock, how
ever. She simply hssrd her papa swearing 1t
the Office boy
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

STILL the Weather Bureau fails in its
efforts TO give Us cold wave enough to relieve
rs OF the fear OF green Christmas.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

FRANK BoEHM, q Bethlehem restaurant
keeper, weighing A5 pounds, walked to Heller
town, four miles distant, in an hour and
quarter, on wager.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

WILLIAM TITUS, who died recently at the
Wilhamsport Almshouse. selected the stone
and design for his tombstone ID years age
and paid for it at the same time.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-23

s1xTY-FIvE tons of butter were shipped from
Montgomery county to Liverpool By Samuel
c. Freed recently.