Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-07-12
MARK TWAIN.
Some Practical Information from
the Humorist.
He Tells How to Remove Warts
and Tattoo 'arks.

| ana tattoo .'arkS.
Mark Twain the wcll-known humor-
list, in a letter to the New York Sun
says that he finds the following suggcs-
tive derelict wandering about the ocean
of journalistic:
'fd give n thousand dollars" said a
wcll-to-do New YOrkc or the other day,
'to have that mark removed" and he
held out II wcll-shapcd and we'll cared
for hand, on the back of which, between
the thumb and first finger, was tattoocd
q big blue anchor. "Whcn | was n lit
lie fool at school, with my head full of
stories of adventure, my highest ambi-
ton was TO go to sea. An old sailor
who lived in the village tattoocd about
dozen of us on the sly, and
remember the lies | told my
mother, ii; kept my hand
done up in Il rag, pretending l had
cut it, till the sore healed. Then she
gave me such a thrashing as broke up
M plan, fortunately, to have Il fine rcd
and blue heat done on the hack Of the
other. The Disagreement ha, caused
me no end of annoyance since and has
cost me considerable money for gloves,
which always wear, winter and sum-
MGR, though l dctcst them in warm
weather. But man can't wear gloves
at the table, and often at restaurants 1
catch people staring at my hand, and ]
wonder if they think l have served my
term in the fo'castlc of some oyster scow
or lumber schooner
A tattoo mark continues Mark Twain,
is easily removed. May l drop into
personal hstory2 When / was q small
boy | had my share of warts | tired
in turn the three hundred and sixty eight
ways of removing them, but without re-
suits; indeed, l seemed to get warticr
and warticr right along. Bat at last
somebody revealed TO me the three
hundred and sixty-ninth way, and
tried it. Thus: drove needle down
into the basement of the wart;
then held the other end of the
needle in the flame of candle
tomc lille time; the needle became
red hot throughout its length, and
proceeded TO cook the wart. Presently
l drew the needle out; if it had white
atoms ike nits sticking about its point,
that wart was done; if the point was
clear, drove it in again and cooked till
got those white things. They were
the roots of the wart. Twenty four
hours later the wart would become soft
and tlabby, and removed it with a
single wipe of my hand. Where it had
been was smooth surface now, which
quickly healed, AMI left no scar. Within
two days was wartlcss, and havo so re-
manned unto this dag.
Well, long time aftcrward, when
was sixteen years old, sailor tattoocd
an anchor and rope on the back of my
left hand with India ink. The color
was deep, dark blue, and cxtravagant-
ly conspicuous. was proud OF it for
awhile, but by the time l had worn it
nine years l was tired of it and ashamed
of it. ] could find nobody who could
tell me how to get rid OF it; but at last
my wart experience OF near half gen.
Grafton before occurred to me, and
got several needles and candle straight
way. drove the needles along Just
under the surface Of the skin and tolcr
ably close together and made
them include the whole tattoo mark;
then fired up on them and cooked that
device thoroughly. Next day l wiped
the device off with my hand. The
place quickly healed, and left no scar.
A faint blush tinge remlincd and l was
minded to begin again and cook that
out; but as it was hardly detect able,
and not noticeable, it did not seem
worth the fuel, and so l left it there,
and there it is yet, though suppose l
am the only member Of my tribe that
knows it.