New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-04-24

C II we do not carry our cause he"' Wv 49,
rsInr. IL Is like BenQuo's Ghost II Win Keep
hohbIn9 mn unffl IL reaches the Shores This shows
that though man may forswear mixed drinks no
NAV Weld 10 the seductcns Of mixed metaphors
THE USUAL WAY.
There once was man
Thaf was meant to remodel the earsaf
The most marvellous scheme,
!" Tow 10 which i Ger genius gave birth.
So he called ON his friends.
Prcphesied dividends, .,.uA
And talked like soyenday ciooh'
Till when they were warmed
". And 'T they al fairly eIamored Dor stock
The Office he hired
was greatly admired, $3.50.
ia fittings were handsome snd ehaste;
The clerks were urbane,
And to all 1t was plain ,,,
That their confidence was not mlspiaceo'
TIL at last one fine day
He wrote homo, Just to say,
That bis big scheme was simply 20 onpe
All the lambs that he could
That their stock was no good,
-" "'. --gomervIe Journal.
About two hundred misdlrected letters arc found
in the Boston postoflce every day. II Bostcnians
win persist In going into state Of nirvana they
must expect TO make mistakes In their Correspondence
At Last-In @The Chicago America oface-Mansger
Our glorioeS crusade Is at last bearing nmt an'
AssistanEEr-- hov's that
Manager-Ths dailies are flled with accounts OF .
popular upSising In New.YOrk against the Poies-
TERRA Haute Express
some Inflated Oklahoma settlers are already settled
for good BY the way, the most successful Oklahoma
settler thus far has been tho Winchester ris
at mus. be awtaily nins to own yaoat' sad sad
St syR S.. % e. Ss prices these trans
The Lockport Journal has been forced by tho star
eyed goddess Of prosperity to enlarge ITSELF IL has
added column TO each OF its pages, and Is now thrty
six columns strong. Under q 10 direction OF MI GOOD
.The Journal has become one Of the best and most
trustworthy newspapers Of Western New-York
train IN Arizona was boarded by robbers, who
sSpen nedOa ~ Be- 's HsSrew from New
who, when his turn came, with reluctance hshed out
X rs O vest DosSe 00 Do You mean b
asked the robber as he oyed with HIS revolver Hur
not refuse me Der cent discount on strictly cash
transaction Ike dlsi'-tDcnver News
In the story sent from Dubuque, Iowa, By that
humble but not unworthy follower of Anauias about
the man who is shipping cats 10 Dakota, 1t Is ex-
planned rat though confined In separate compartments
In the freight car the pose is frightfui' IL the
FREQ trade and protection factions IN the Democratic
party could be confined this way, how they would
drown out the noise Of any neighbOrng cat consign-
ments
sThe Times' receives obituary notices not only
pathetic and stirring, but very unique In conception
and ehIrography. The following specimen received
from q ueghboSing town illustrates the fact that not
everybody Is adapted 10 obituary writing:
@ARBITUAEY NOTICE
"when tho clock struck o this morning on the
rnAntel tho eastern wind was blowing the golden
T Ss: q s AS ns. s sGtaEs a O. On N s i
sS %STs Su ' tSRa sSs%ssa to wS
departure. She was teacher In the primary do
S q 5. The hard az Tsp Ssa was G
she died with . hope in Christ and win DO remem-
bcrod over .S-(chattanoogs TfmeA
Lew pOekstader Is to play the Pigs in Clover in
Chicago more appropriate play for that city would
DO Hogs IN the Abbatoir.'
sHow do you know that you win DO sbie to get
choice quaEtersection In oklahomaP asked the en-
Stranger replied the laesar rive been shoosin'
e marx sss .As day. and ySa Sons ts as ana ana
look a that mark for yourself -tchicseo News
Says Eugene Field: ave have 20 great o respect
for thoroughhreds that cannot suffer 70 pass I'M
improved this occasion to signify our disapp-ovd Oh
growing tendency 10 apply the term thoroughbred
to o low and vicious class OF men. Thoroughbred
is essentially gentleman rapid though he Gay DC,
strict honor marks al his dealings with his fellow,
men, His disregard for money Is not his only virtue
no loves the truth and practses Il he IL Jealous OF
his integrity and guards IL be has fondness for, but
at the sEme time no honors, womanhnd his own worst
enemy, his weaknesses arc invariably Of such q
character that they excite our ympsthy, noe our
admiration
New.York swe1-who IL that grsy.hared old man
ouist crisen-Thst Major Aalfslesgu:, one q the
survivors Of the famous Six Hundred OF BAakiaya
Haven't you met him yet, Do YLief shall DO
pleased 10 introduce you.
New-York swell fT4gdiy)-Thank you, no You
forget that am one Of the -Four Hundred -tChcaso
Tribune.