West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1889-01-17
M OF IL DAY.

"
'Bound in calf'-Veal.
Caught on the fy-Trout.
Two physicians are a paradox.
The burning question-Smoke.
Preside companion-The poker.
A loan iellow-The pawnbroker.
Unpopular preserves-Jim-jams.
A writ of attachment-A love letter.
Old maids know what a mis.spent life
means.
The oldest and most inveterate smoker
in history is Yesuvius.
It is the astronomer who most fro
quently rises to observe.
When a man doubles his fists you can
hardly say he has four hands.
The man who lives from hand to
mouth should not have far to go for his
dinner.
To make a Russian name-imitate the
''tchug" of a bull frog, give one sneeze
and say ski"
Honor and respect the busy bee.
Once full, he makes straight for home.
-NeO York Neses.
A young New England baby was
named William after his father, who was
bilious. -Harper's Bazaar.
The manufacturers Of perforated chair
seats have combined. Their object can
be seen through, and will be sat upon.
A barking dog is the most courteous
of all animals. He makes bis bow TO
every passer-b by. - Binghamton RepuJ-
Liean.
Money can slip through a pretty small
hole sometimes. A Brooklyn man lost a
considerable sum lately through a pew
rent.
All the street cars have a sign ''no
smoking, y and vet any conductor will
helpa woman to q light-NeW York
World.
A good many of the cashiers who are
settling IN Canada are those who have
neglected to do any settling over here
Neo York Neps.
Woman Ito tramp-"How's the soupr'
Iramp-"Tain't quite strong. enough,
ma'am. ! wish you would wash a few
more dishes in it.p
Waiter-seYou want frogs, ehYp
Guest-'Not zee whole animaile, I want
zee, vat you call him-Zee drumsteeks.
philadelphia Record.
Brown-"Did you dispose of that last
lyric yOu wroteq' Young Byron-''O
yes, ] got it of on the publishers for a
song" Yankee Blade.
Duluth people say that that city is
growing so rapidly that, sitting down IN
the suburbs, with the city against the
skyline, you can see it grow.
sit requires only two things to run a
successful campaign, , sad the politi-
clan. ''And what are they2" asked a
bystander. "Dollars aud sense"
Tramp, picking up a FIVE cent piece
"a bloody nickel, hum Wasn't nothin'
but aJonah all my life. Anybody else
but me "a pick'd up that nickel and il a
been a quarter, sure" (Sighs).
Shakespeare was slightly mixed in his
seven ages" IL is the "Thining
school boy whom the maternal eve has
detected in some fragrant act of dis.
obedience that shifts INTO the slippered
pantaloon."
Leader Of the Boggsville male quintet
10 editor OF the Boggsville Herald-
What can we do to interest the public
IN our organizatiOnf' Editor without
looking np)-" Disbaud. " B~uyIinqton
Free Press.
A baby girl in Missouri has been named
Rainbow. Sixteen years hence, when
she Is caught in a summer shower. size
should feel very much az home, although
she would then be a little rain deer
AorristoNn HsraH.
They say the German Emperor
Is spelling 70 pitch 10:
de sharpens up his spurs and longs
10 make the saWdust spin.
WHO wants 70 pit a cock against
III Bantam o. BeriinE
burlington Free Press.
Lawyer-f'so that is the entire list Of
your debtsf' Insolvent Manager-"Oh.
no; there are many other little items.'i
Bawyer-"Don't you want me to add
them in detailf' Manager-''No: lust
say, for further particulars see small
bills. "-dmerica.
An exchange wants the name Of the
man who invented the wheelbarrow:
but what many moro persons crave is the
name Of the man who LET'S his wheel
barrow stand in the middle Of the side
walk after dark. The latter Is more
deservinROf death.-Nogrif1Dn Hcr11d.
"Did that lady buy anythineF asked
ihe jewoIer Of his new boy, az the lady
in question left the store, apparently in
q temper. 'fshe did not. she asked
me for on old gold breast pin. and I
asked her ii che took this store FOR a Junk
shop Then she went out" -Jcrsl1y's
We1kiV.