Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1889-08-09

thousands of able bodied, industrious
young men who would be glad to marry.
| Another resolve is to the effect that the
proclaim alton be forwarded to the Mayor
of Boston with the urgent revuest that il
be published broadcast throughout tho
! State
The most severe cases of scrofula readily
yields to Hoods Sarsaparilla, which puri-
fes the blood.
Both punch in the stomach and q
punch in the head will make man groggy,
| although from different natural causes.
-Nora-"An' has your mistress good
| tastel" Bridget-"Goodt taste, isitl Faith
her dresses look better on me than do me
| own"
| Sunday school teacher-"What must
we do before we can have our wrongs for
| givens" Bright scholar-"We must first
commit the wrong"
| Mrs. Jones" Your baby is very
small for its age, don't you Think" Mrs.
Brown. Yes the poor darling was fed on
| milk which was condensed-that's why the
baby is so too"
| Mrs. Gabble-''What an awful worried
anxious, despairing look Mrs. Goodsoul
has Mrs. Dabble-"Yes, l guess shes
stopped doing her own work and gone to
keeping girl.
Hurry to the door, Mary and let Mr..
Smith in. He has rung twice 'That
isn't Mr.. Smith; it is the other young gen
tleman." Well, wait a minute, then. /
must change the photographs on the man
tie"
Mamma! Are there birds in the bad
place2" Teacher told us about the birds
of Paradise, and l wondered if the English
sparrows don't 20 somewhere when they
die"
-Johnson-"But can you speedily cir
ulate the rumor in a roundabout way so
no one will know where it starts froml'
Anderson-"Yes, I've told it to my wife
as a secret, and she will attend the esewing
society meeting to-day"
Two Scotch worthless were lately criti-
cising the new minister very severely.
Said John, the discontented, about the
reverend gentleman: "Well. We see, irae
Monday to Saturday he's inveesible, and
on Sabbath he's incomprehensible.
u am sorry to give you pain, MIR.
Ferguson" she said to the kneeling youth,
''but your score is goose egg this time. ="
Not much, Miss Kajones," he replied
haughtily, as he rose up and took his hat;
''you can't prevent me from scoring Il home
run"
-Husband-"Well, my dear, what did
the magnetic physician say to your Wife
He says am a sick woman, and that my
nervous system is not in equilibrium. He
says l am too positive" Husband
'Hunph! could have told you that and
saved couple of dollars"
-"You never loved me, John" sobbed
Mrs, Billus hysterieally. Maria" exclam
ed Mr.. Billus earnestly, '.you are mistaken.
If you will look back over the family ex-
pense account you will find that it cost us
$27 80 for repairing rocking chairs during
the first three years of our married life
-Tnhot-Sna hpor TSaacS | thnu ght Won
said you would warrant those trousers to
wear Isaacs-So did. 'Well, look at
them: I've only worn them two weeks and
and you can see through the cloth Il
warranted them to wear, didn't H." "0f
course you did" ''yell, amt dey worn!
Wot's der madder NIT you!"
Little Bobby-Ma, will l go to heaven
when die. Mother-If you are good
boy you will. ..'Will you go, tol" Il hope
so, Bobby" And will pa" ''Yes; We
will all be there some time" Bobby didn't
seem altogether satisfied, but after some
thought he said; Il don't see how l am
going to have much fun
-Citizen-Mike, | understand you are
suspected of belonging to the Clan ma Gael!
Mike-Thin beth powers its tn fust toim
in the hiStry av tn famoly thet a 0Houl-
lihan was suspected av bein' fool' Dye
think wus Oh wan av thin Clan av Gaels
| Old be wurreckin' mo life away fer the gas
company for dollar ae half day when
0i moight be on the peleece farce an film
Snud office under tn guvernmint!'
Young Man Don't you remember me
Old Gentleman-Can't say that | ever saw
you before Don't you remember little
Sammy Bambry, who uste to steal your
peaches and break your windows, twenty
years ago, right here in Auston!" "Why,
certainly, | remember you now very we'll;
how you ust to steel my peaches, and
don't you remember how caught you just
as you were getting over the fence one day
and how tanned your little hide for your
"You bet you did! All, those happy DAYS