The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1889-11-02

ton, if had not happened to be wo-
man OF expedients
The neighbors were focking up the
steps now.
Mrs. Pierce was not reckless, if ex-
traordinarily prompt in emergencies.
She did not rush down to meet them,
She threw the door key out of the win
dow, and told them to open the door.
When she did SO, she slipped wrap
per over her night gown, and joined
them.
Behind her, holding to the tail of her
gown, SUNK poor little Myrtle, her
teeth chattering like castanets, and the
great big frightened Jumps in her throat
almost choking her.
Where is hep
Oh, the rascal
Is Mr.. Pierce out of town.
What keeps the patrol2
Can he have escaped1
No, I hear him.
Just listen 10 that
That was perfect tulisade of groans,
kicks, oaths, sneezes.
Despite the excited chatter going on
around her, Mrs. Pierce was cool, Mrs.
Pierce was collected. Indeed she was
actually beaming.
What did men do, who, unlike Dave,
had incapable and brainless wives?
Her burglar alarm had been effective.
The scamp was most likely so blinded
by the red pepper he could not FIND
his way out.
Who was it said woman had no in
ventlve genius?
She would be praise tor her brilliant
prudence. Perhaps-ecstalc thought |!
she might even be written up in the
papers under the caption of Heroic
Mrs. Pierce, or A Brave, Brainy Wo-
man.
Hark7 some one said; here is the
patrol wagon
And there it was to be sure, dashing
up to the door with great flourish.
The officers leaped out-entered the
Pierce residence.
All the crowdlng, half-clad indlvidu-
ais in the front hall commenced prof
ferlng clamorous explanations.
Which is the lady of the house2 de-
manded an officer.
am, modestly proclaimed Miranda ;
and if 1t were not that l am a woman
Of expedients, this contemplate law
breaker would not be so neatly trapped.
And she positively grew as she utter
ed her laudatory remark.
Oh, come on growled the officer.
Hurt but uncrushed by his brusque-
ness, she held the kerosene night lamp
over her head, and, followed by Myr-
tie, the policeman and the ever increas
ing group OF nelghbors led the way.
There he is she cried, as she flung
open the kitchen door.
Myrtle gave howl of terror.
Yes, there he is corroborated the
neighbors.
The officers advanced so did Mrs.
Pierce so those following.
And this they saw: A room Uttered
with scattered tins and broken glass-a
room flooded with water--the air un-
bearably pungent with the odor OF am
monia and floating particles OF cayenne
pepper and in the midst of all, seated
on one OF the overturned tubs. his ell
bows on his knees, his head held in his
hands, groaning and moaning at an
agonizing rate-the intruder!
The bloodthirsty wretch exclaimed
Mrs Pierce.
Hush up he might shoot murmured
, cortiouc peiobhor
Officers, do your duty loftily com.
manded the young man who was study
ing tragic recitations.
But they all were now sneezing ii
such consusive manner that an at
t, mpt to secure the midnight maraudel
was necessarily spasmodic.
Come (a-chew y You are undeI
arrest (t-t-chew y Help here, boys
Confound tnat pepper
The man on the tub raised hls head
He looked around.
Mrs. Pierce gave shrek of dismay
Oh, pa yelled Myrtle.
The officers fell back. Those of tn,
neighbors who could speak between
sneezing began to question and explain
The man they had come to captur
rose-spoke,
| missed the tram (t-chu-u y l wen
to the lodge for couple of hours.
thought my wife might have failed Ga
tchew-oo 90 y to fix this window, an
lab
He went off in another paroxysm.
A ludicrous and yet pitiful appear
ance he presented.
He was dripping from tumble i
the tub, dirty from stumbling collisio
with the coal hod, cut bv the batterin
shower of pots and pans, perfume
t with ammonia, and evidencing ever