The Indianapolis journal., 1889-07-05
ALIVE AND
Copious Extrs It's from the Last Issue of the
"AriEona Kicker"

"AriEona Kicker"
Detroit Free Press.
For the last siv months Major Davis, of
this burg, has lost 10 opportunity of abrs-
ing us and boastips OF what he would do if
we did not step softly. The reason for this
only called him horse-thief, but proved
him bigamist besides. Last Saturday the
Major. who has no more right to that title
than a mule has &c that of professor"
borrowed q Shotgun aud gave out that he
had camped on cur trail and meant TO rid
die our system with buck-shot sight.
Word was brought to us, and although we
were very bpsv at the time experimenting
our combine wee II newspaper, harness
shop, groceIy oaLar . I'd gun store fall I'M
der one roof, and the iargest retail estab-
lishment in ArIZonai, yve laid aside
work ana weab pVerfo Siiyders saloon In
search of the MAJOR. We found him. and
we gave him SUCH whipping as no man
in this town ever got before. He lies
broken and stranded wreck on the shores
of time, SO to speak, and the doctor says 1T
will be six weeks before he will find any
more trails to do any more camping.
Slipped Cog-,ln; company with the
elite of this neighb0rhOOd we were invited
to the abode of Judge Graham. last Thurs
day evening. to witness the marriage of
County Clerk Dan Scott. to the beautiful
Arabella johnson, only daughter of the
aristocratic widow johnson, of Bay Horse
Heights. The widow had made q spread
worthy of the days of CLEOPATRA. and Dan
had on new suit, sent by express from
Omaha, for the occasion. Everything
passed off pleasantly until O'Clock, at
missing. and investigation soon brought
out the fact that she had gone dead back
on Dan, and skipped the tra-la, whatever
that is, with bold cowboy named French
jim. She left message to the effect that
she could never. never love a man with a
cataract in his left eye, and thatlneant
Dan. There was feast. but no wedding.
and Daniel will have to try agair.
No Harm DOne-The boys got after a
stranger the other evening whc was pointed
| ont as horse thief, and ran him all over
| town with the object of pulling him up to
| limb. In some manner he gave them the
slip, and In their zeal they got hold of
Judge Downey and held him mp TO limb
| for over minute before the error was dis
| covered. The Judge is gu-guing around
| with a sore throat and q stiff neck and
| threatens to bring about fifty damage salts.
! Take a friends advice, Judge, and hush
| your general character. While il was a
mistake. the boys were not so far wrong
| after all. We wish such mistakes would
| occur oftener.
We Bide Our Time-While selling Mrs.
Colonel Prescott fonr pounds of prunes for
haif a doHarthe other day Constable button
entered and asked us TO step across the
street to the Office of Esquire Williams
we obeyed the request, and were at once
served with warrant charging. US with
keeping bales of hay on the sidewalk in
front of the Kicker Office TO the detriment
| of pedestrians AS is well known. We run a
grocery, feed store. harnesssh shop. bazaar and
music house IN connection with the Kick
| er. and the hay was out for sign. We
were tried. convicted and fined S9-the
| grossest outrage ever perpetrated in the
name of the law.
| We shall bide our time. That is. we
shall begin next week and show Squire
| Williams ND as a drunkard. dead beat. alb
sconder, embezzler and perjurer, and il we
can't drive him out of the country in six
| weeks We'll forfeit n lung. The man who
made the complaint did il 10 get even with
us for refusing TO lend him our only button
| behind shirt. From this out he is "A marked
man. We will begin on HIM next week.
and well bet ten TO one he hangs himself
| inside of a month