The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1889-08-17
CHRONICLES By THE TRIBUNE
WANDERER.

he had worked many days in tn,
literary vineyard gathering choict
fruit for the army of subscriber
that they might partake thereo
and be wise. And it was so. AnG
be arose and said unto his Brother
"Long have / labored while you
made merry with the Constitution
makers in Boise; I have quenched
nv thirst with alkali dust whilst
thou hast lived off the fat of the
land and drank much red wine. ]
now, therefore, give you the shake. >
And although his brothers eyes
were red with weeping and he fam
would have detained him, yet he
needed not the entreaties of his
brother. And he arose and straight
way borrowed a grip and placed
therein many articles of fine raj
ment and bottle; and when thus
equipped he borrowed $40 of a
stranger and departed. And it was
so. And it came to pass that as he
turned his steps eastward train
Numbered along, and he reasoned
with himself and said: "Why not
ride" And his mind was straight
way made up and he grabbed what
is widely known as brake-beam
and chung thereto closely. And he
was wise in action, for it saved him
many weary steps. And when his
strength was well nigh exhausted,
the train drew near unto a great
city which is called Nampa. And
when he had dug the dust from his
eyes and looked around he saw
multitudes of people who were of
his kind. And they were pleased
to see the stranger and gave him to
drink. And it came to pass that
the drink was not Tie Tue pure Juice of
the vine, and it affected him very
strangely and he laughed and made
merry with the strangers. And
when he would fain depart he could
not hold to the break beam, for his
limbs had lost their cunning; and
when he turned away in distress
the strangers threw him into a
place which is called "blind bag
gage" and left him.
And it came to pass that his eyes
were heavy with sleep and he was
oyertaken with much slumber.
And he was awakened with a rude
noise and much pain, for some
thing struck him which could be
likened unto cyclone, but which
smelled like shoe leather. And as
he alighted upon the ground he
said: 81 will arise and go to my
brother and say unto him, Il am
unworthy to be called TRIBUNE the
small; make me even as the
devil ," But he could not escape
and he learned the place where ne
was laying was Shoshone. And he
was glad for he had many friends
in that great city. And he arose
and went into a hotel and said:
IL am aweary and. athirst and l
hunger. Take and care for me,
and whatsoever is right will pay
thee
And being overcome with fatigne
he sought his couch; and when the
landlord was departed and candle
lighted, a multitude of bed bugs
appeared singing and making
joyful noise; and they all raised
their voices and shouted: "Wel-
come ! Welcome !" And when he
inquired into the meaning of all
this merriment the bugs again
shouted with loud voice and
danced for joy. And an old Pat
riarch, who appeared to be the
spokesman, stepped forward and
said: welcome, pusher of the
quill. Verify l say unto you it has
been many days since we quaffed
rich editorial blood. For many
years we found our prey in the per-
son Of w. c. B. Allen, but in an
unfortunate moment, intoxicated
by the rich red fluid which only
flows in editorial veins, our might
est warrior sought to penetrate his
cheek The reckless soldier imme-
diately yielded up the ghost and
died. And it seemed as though a
curse had fallen upon our race, for
many died. And of the aforesaid
Aliens usefulness there was no fur
ther doubt. Then for long time
we were outcasts and forced to as
sociate with plebians, and drink
The blood of ordinary mortals. But
it came to pass that while we were
plunged into gloom and desponden-
cy, young man by the name of
Wilde" of the Boise Statesman,
was thrown into our society by
special dispensation of Providence.
And although we did allin our
power to please this mortal and