Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-11-09
MY REWARD.

quite Internationally, that verified
the old proverb that listeners hear
no good of themselves. Never
mind what they We're; they gave mo
q sharp thrust of pain, whether they
were just or not, And brooding
over them, as in my lonely life |
brood too much over everything, |
wondered ii there was not some ex-
cuse for anything that may be OBJ
ieetionable in my manner, my way OF
| liie-eyen the hard, bitter thoughts
that viii not always be crushed
down. i am going to write out my
life, plainly, without bitterness il l
can help it. and read it over as il it
We're the experience of some one else
to try to judge myself as would an
other woman under the same circum-
stances.
was twelve years old when my
mother died, my first experience OF
sorrow, and a deep-abiding sorrow
it was. She had never to my
recollection been very strong, and
my father had made her weakness
doubly hard to bear by CON
slant sneers at invalid airs" cod
ding" and mere ''self-indulgence. =
was too young then understand,
but looking back l can plainly re-
member how patient she was-how
much she tried to conceal her suffer-
ing-and | know that she never kept
her room, orlet any of her duties fall
from her weary hands until she was
literally unable to stand erect or
guide household affairs. She faded
away and left me desolate.
For seven years longer | was kept
at school, urged in my studies, forced
forward in way that now fills me
with amazement. must have been
exceptionally strong, body and mind,
not to break down under the pres
sure that was put upon me. Even
in the holidays ] was not allowed to
go home, but hadspecial instruction
in music and languages Myfather;s
letters were cold, and urged upon me
the necessity for improving every
hour OF my time, as my future sup
port must depend upon my own eX.
ertions. was to be fitted for a
teacher, and my instructions were
faithful. was crammed with useful
information, drilled in scales and ex-
ercises, loaded with German and
French verbs and phrases, kept at
hard work necessarily, till | was q
mere machine to hear and repeat les
sons. But | was q strong, perfectly
healthy child. | had my hours OF
recreation and exercise, my play
mates, my chosen friends in my com
panions, and my childhood passed
away not unhappily.
Some girlish sorrows had to bear.
My dress was Away Of the cheapest
material, and | loved pretty fabrics;
always plainly made, and | envipd
the laces, puffs, and ribbons of my
more natecompanions. never
had one penny of my own. The mis-.
tress of the school attended 20 my
meagre wardrobe, and beyond thatI
was supposed to have no want or de-
sire. Only a school girl can realize
the modification OF being the only
girl in school who did not own a
trinket, never had any pocket money,
and whose Sunday clothing was but
a shade better than every day wear.
At 10 was sent home, with GER
tificate from each of my teachers,
setting forth that | was capable or
imparting to Others the Instruction.
mad received. How | loathed those
formal documents. They seemed
such a prophecy OF labor, only the
variation OF being the teacher instead
of the pupil, but ever the same rou-
tine OF lessons, study, work.
My surprise was very great when
my father, who met'me at the station
and gave me an icy kiss, took q
horse car and rode to the suburbs
of the city to small, meanly furn-
ished house instead OF taking me to
our old home. He had written to
me enough of the necessity for nv
future exertions to have prepared me
for any change. but, childlike, had
expected to find him still in ourIarge
handsome residence; the home of q
man in something moH than easy
circumstances. If any vague hope,
however, had fingered in my mind, it
was promptly shattered.
You are now woman" my fa-
ther said to me, as we sat down to a
repast OF weak tea, bread and butter,
and radishes, land prepared for a
woman's work. ! have expended a
large sum on your education; you
have the best teachers to be procured,
and they speak well ofyourprogress.
But, in order to give you these ad-
vanatges, have impoverished my
self, and my health will not permit
me to take any situation where / ain
confined to desk or bound by regu-
lar hours"
"Your healthP,. | cried. 81 never
knew you were i'll"
81 am not one to complaint But /
have a diaanaa fhnf ID itnt,ra l,fo