Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-06-14
Hunpty-Dumpty and His Medical Ad.
visers.

rom vanity Fair
Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall and, feel
ing rather sore, said to himself, Now Will go
and see doctor, who will cure me at once"
So he put on his hat and walked along until he
came to street Of large houses. On the doors
OF these houses were brass plates, and behind
these brass plates were the doctors who cured
everything. Then he walked up 20 one of them
and knocked at the door and rang be n marked
Professional" to show that he had come on
business. as he had had a far and felt sore and
wanted 10 be made well again. Presently the
door was opened, and Humpty-Dumpty Was
shown into d waiting-room. where there were
two or three others. who scowied ut him for
coming into the room. and went on pretending
to read the daily paper and last years Panck
After a long time he was shown into the doc
tors private room, and said, Please doc
tor. / have had a fail. and am sore. aud 1
want to be made well" Now this doctor was
an ear specialist. so he took a tube and looked
down has ear. and said he could see IL quite
plainly. Then he said, Have YOU tue car
ache!' None at all +" said Humptv-Dumpty.
All" said the doctor. you WILL have il the
day after tomorrow. These fails are danger
Gus things: but We viii do our best. will pre-
scribe lotion which you must pour in at one
ear and let Il run ont Of the other. Then stun
them up with COTTONWOOD. and keep in a quiet
room. away from all noise, and come aud ses
me again as soon you feel worse" Then
Humpty- Dumptypa his two guineas and went
away loyfully TO the chemist.
Presently he said 10 himself. Perhaps after
all. this man doesn't quite understand INV case"
So he went to another door and IN due time Was
shown in TO another doctor. Again he said that
his name was Humpty- Dumpty, and had had
fall But this doctor was throat specialist so he
put small looking-glass on the back Of his
neck and a long feather down his throat. which
tlckled him SO much that he had lit of cough
ing. All" said the doctor. Il see il all now
The AIRY glottldean ePiblast is in a sadly sup
pressed state" Now, when Humpty-Dumpty
heard that his epiblast was wrong lac thought it
was all up with him. and that he should never
again be able TO indulge in his fayorite pas-
time OF sitting on a wall. Bat / don't feel
anything wrong la my throat" he said. faintly.
wait bit. said the doctor, land you will
see how 1 shall bring il out in the course OF q
week or so. / will prescribe you a vapor,
which you must inhale, and soon as you feel
cheeky. insufflate this cGrminatye powder aud
call here every morning III order that | MAY
apply some luminous paint" Then Humpty-
Dumpty paid his two gunleas and went of 10
the chemist
Perhaps" thought he, ''this time. also. NV
| case has been mistaken, so l will try again"
And he went of to another house little farther
on, where he found several ladies all looking
extremely Ill. and the horrid truth flashed
across him that he must be III the abode of q
ladies' doctor and that these were the victims
He at once seized his hat and ran out of the
house before any one could catch him, and
arrived, DreatDsess anu per- plrlhg, on thesdoor-
step OF mansion with brass plate on which
the name of Sir Monger Pill was inscribed.
Now" thought Humpty-Dumpty. Il shall be
right at last" So he went in, and before he
could speak Sir Monger said: Dear me. a bad
case, indeed. Breathing rapid. perspiratiop
copious, pulse bounding" because he did not
know that mpty-Dumpty had just escaped
from q ladies' doctor. Lucky you found me
at home said he. and wrote prescriptions for
draughts and pills and told him to call again in
three DAYS. Then he said he must be of, 90
Humpty-Dumpty paid him two guiheas and
told the story of his fall TO the butler instead.
who told him he ought TO see a surgeon.
OF then he went to Mr.. Snlker Snee, and
told all about himself. Mr. Snee said that il
was a very serious case, that it might have been
better and could have been worse, and that he
must wear a plaster-of-paris jacket, with an
iron-bar down bis spine, for three years in
horN. and felt very sad. and made his ain.
Then he thought he would try and eat some
dinner. and have a glass of champagne to keep
up his spirits. After dinner he felt so much
better that he amused himself by putting all
the pills and medicines in row, and thinking
which he should begin on. But as be med-
| tated he fell asleep. aud when he woke up in
the morning he had quite forgotten about his
fall. He found, however, that his pet dog lad
eaten the pills and expired, and that the land
lady's cat had licked plaster and gone into
fit Later on. the miasma which WIS e1haled
from the floor led to the taking up Of the
boards. Underneath them were found the boz
dies of the rats and mice WHO had persisted
from spontaneous combustion owing 10 their
having partaken of an ointment. So Humpty-
Dumpty never allowed himself to be i'll again
poor animals, and he lived happily eysr Sftsr-
ward