The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1889-06-29
FAT MEN AND LEAN.
TASTES DIFFER WIDELY IN THIS,
AS IN EVERYTHING ELSE.

Ladies, Cicrgymcn and Poets Have Their
!dcals-Fat Men Laugh Most-The In
Opinions.
1t may be observed, without intentional
oi!ense to any young lady who may be enam-
oie'l of some sSeeton-like young man, that, as
rule, fat men, besides being the most jolly
and convivlal of the male species, are also apt
tobc cthemost considcrate of and charitable to
others. Most fat men arc ever ready tosmile,
nay to laugh heartily They usually possess
happy naturcs-pcrhaps because as class
they have good appettcs and enjoy what they
eat. They arc more sociable than their lean
hrcthrcn-a fact which properly explains why
no one ever heard OF II Lean Mems Clam Bake.
After all is said that can he said against them,
the fact still remains that seven out Of ten fat
men make excellent husbands.
Most unmarried ladies cherish as their ideals
men who are tall, and cannot boast of any
unusual amount of adipose tissue They spurn
the idea Of fat man for lifelong compan-
ion, and yet many marriages with fat men,
and also with men who grow rapidly or
gradually stout nfter marriage. havo turned
out very we'll.
SIZE HAD ONE OF EACH.
y lady who has her home on Fifth avenue,
widow, whose two husbands rcposc side by
slide i'll Greenwood, remarked the other day to
the writer: My first husband was of tho
brunette order, tall, angular, sallow faced,
&ttulnnc, ncrNous-cven to irritabillty at
| times, and more or less of an invalid during
the latter part of his life. No couple could
lavo furnished II wider contrast in tempera-
ment than ourselves. am social by nature,
fond of attending theatres and of sight seeing,
while he was Il morbid rccluse taking no in
| trrcst Whatever in tho worlds gayeties.
really believe, ii he had had Il little more flesh
on his homes, he would have been different,
not to say Il happier man. Mind you, | am
casting no stones at his cherished memory.
My second husband belonged to another genus.
lie WAS six feet two inches tall and weighed
$50 pounds He was Il pronounced blonde and
apcrIcct picture of health He took an inter-
est i'll every thing, though not to tho detri-
ment OF his business. never had to ask him
twice to so anywhere with mo. He was al
ways eager TO participate in anything where
| mlrth ana good tinic wcro promised. But
! tho poor man drank too much champagne and
ate too many lato s,lppers, and apoplexy car
ric,l him off,"
y lady i'll Brooklyn, Oh being asked what
| physical styo of man slo preferred, replied:
The one have suits mo very well. He is
neither tat nor lean. According to my ideas
of masculine physique, ho is just right" An
other lady who was present volunteered tho
information that her husband was too fat for
his own comfort. and that when ho moved he
suggested to her tho picture Of big piece of
animated jelly. Going up ono flight of stairs
made him puff like n fire engine, and ho was
always planning of some pain She feared
hal H. ~,
1t seemed to her that his moral sense had
grown bluntcr us he acquired flesh, and in
conclusion she said that she did not have much
admiration for tlabby fat men
HE WOULD RATHER BE A SNAIL.
Apopuar Clergyman, who weighs over two
hundred and fifty, on being asked his views
respecting fat men thus replied, with n merry
twinkle in his eye; "Thero are different
kinds of fat men. There is the little, round
oily, fat man. There is tho tlisastric fat man.
who owes his extreme nvoirdupos to beer and
high living OF course cannot approve of
him as Il fat man. Then thcro is tho man
who gets abnormally fat because ho is lazy
and INDECENT. To me such n man is an object
for compassion. But for the man who is born
and stays fat, or the man who gets fat natur-
ally as he natures have tho highest respect
providing tho man in other ways is worthy"
y lank, radnverous visagcd poet, who is
often seen walking along Newspaper row,
was recently asked if Ilo would not enjoy lifo
more kecnly il lie were II triilo moro corpu-
lent. $40" be swiftly and dislainfully an
sweHe'l, "rorpllency hehts aldermen, boodlers
and saloon Keepers. Though a literary man,
] never indulge in malt, whicl--to para
phrase from Emerson-is making orr west
cin wi's fat and mean You will find that
the ma ajorliy Of intellectual people arc not
gross, though many Of them 20 what mls...
be tcr,ao'i piuNp ]" int me out ten fat mon
and "ilI point you ont nine stupid men.
Was Apollo c"lrSo und ungtuoust Was the
Greek conception OF Il perfectly nodded body
that of one weighing 300 poundst No Art
and poetry ever have sought to immortalze
such 1.-the and willowy forms as that Of
Venus such trim, athletic limbs as those Of
Diana, such graceful symmetry US that of
iIebc Really, would rather be snail than
IL fat man."
Assuming" observed the poets questioner
that as II rule those not fat arc tho most in
tcllectual and eminent in tho world, how do
yulI account for tho fact that of all the peo-
pie who obtain divorces only about one.
fourth are fat pcopef'
oh" returned the poet, "you might as
''eIl asl: why there are not us many fut peo-
p!sn the world rs lean am not married,
but if | ever do take wife, you may rest
assule.l that she will not be u woman of such
dimensions rs to attract offers from dino
museum managers"
Then the long haired votary Of the muse
pursued his fanciful way toward q fifteen
cent restaurant. t.--Lcon Mead in The Epoch.