Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-10-08
CAUGHT A TARTAR

boaisgasa Il wealth snd fnshim. He was
rather tall. well built, elegantly dressed, but
yet did not ss-.Ea 10 be happy. He seemed 70
be atzzsrs nlinssssi, and there was On his fare a
eareeorn look 4 stout gentbefnan- about
ten years oIier than the young gentleman
with ths. sad, careworn expression. Iias cs'zzs-
ing frnsn the opposite direction He ssopsed
ami exsaAiEIzsi heartily:
why, john. how do yoa do, my dear boyi
Have you forgotten your old friends7
do ter, declare disins see yea until you
goxe.'
-tssl yet you were booking right 81 rne-
Dssn't aspios!1e for I'm not goin@ 10 fspfoach
you NEssu a man nIarriss one a the pref
tisst girls in New York-ani orse who Is rieh
hsasie-it IS no wonier be don't see his fiserssts
when be- meets thslm On the street
Doctor, 1 am not going 10 Dispute with
yau, for adSiit that ! am Little absent
minsiei 1t ysrue that ! am very happy,
bot
=fsuti What 10 you mean by that qualify
ing word. Are there any mitigating circani-
stances, 80 ~ si.aks7
No, esn't say that there are, but
There il Is again ~ eoursr, don't want
you IN give anything away, but If you have
any trouble sou can eontide ii TO al old
Doctor, can sagsszt remedy
Il would b. perfectly happy II it were not
for nay sife's usothss She Is devutesily at
tachssl 10 her daughter They are mach
togrt er ,1s II they were Siamse twins
have ise,sn married a whole week but | have
not been alone with my wife five minutes
since tsls. CEREMONY. I fully intended 10 take
d brieial tour. hut when Mrs. Swiftly SAID She
wouhl 20 along, +, take care Of US, changed
my mind " ben | want TO travel for ms
cry instead Of for pleasure, can drive an
un,iertaker's wagon. The truth Is, my dear
Doctor, that it Is with difficulty that tFln
persuade myself that | am really married"
That Is a bad state of things. don't se
how any remedy can be applied, but perhaps
u-Ir nloti.srii' law may marry again she
is upwards u ~ | suppose, although nobody
would think ~ 10 box at her. Willows are
Ike young babies The first six months they
cry great deal, the second SIX months they
begin 10 take notice. anil they experience a
good deal Of difficulty in getting through the
second summer, Without meaning any dis
respect 10 your worthy mother in law, | ven
tire the prediction that she Will marry again,
ard then you will be- liberated In this 60 M
try the MAR a,seable age for women runs
from L 10 l0a-
Don't mention such thing, Doctor, as Mrs
Swiftly marrying
"Wny notH
ssly wife is to inherit all her mothers prop
erty. II she marries again may he left out
in the cold It makes me shudIer to hear you
talk about Mr.. Swiftly marrying"
You are right That would never do. |
wish could suggest some plan, but l don't
see how can be Of amy use to YOU
AVON ram he'll, mo doctor and yu mnSt
Call around at the house this evening. My
mother-in-.aw is a very pleasant convers;i-
ZIONIST. | know you like a good bottle OF
wine and a fine cigar. She don't object to
smoking. I've got them 10th in abundance
You can entertain Mrs Swiftly while | and
my wife take little walk. You are the very
man want All you have to do is TO tail. to
my mother-n- law for an hour or while !
beconnc acquainted with my wife. You, too,
arr Il splendid conversational, and are 50 full
of wit and humor that you can get her 50 inter
e,te,l in yopr conversation that she will not no.
tee our absence THIS is hi,ieous fix am in
know she means well, but her kindness, is
killing me DO you know what her kindness
reminds me Of"
II can't imagine"
My motlIpT-in-law reminds me of a tame
belr "iio loved his master very much One
da the bear saw fly on his muster, head,
AMI linking TO do his master "a favor he
strucl; blow at it. and drove away the flv,
but nearly kBo. sed his masters head of My
mother in-liw nilaesines that being constantly
in the room with me and my wife that she is
showing us "A fcr,at kindness, hut would pre-
fer TO have her hit me on the back of the neck
with rolling pin"
My dear fellow, you know that dislike
ladics' society"
Yes, know You are really woman hater
but wish you would do me the favor to come
over tonight and talk to my mother n-lawr
"Well, for your sake, I'll do it,
Thanks, a thousand thanks. I'd do as much
for yea"
Don't mention it. By the way, do you
know shy the word honeymoon is only APP
piad to young married people,"
That's something tina has puzzled me ever
since got married"
1t is because the moon only affects the
tied Now you understand, don't YOU" said
the genial dos tor, as they parted
The Iultie, to this conversation were John
Kimball, young New York lawyer who had
recently married the only daughter of Mrs
Swiftly, the Wealthy widow If a dry good,
merchant, kimballs friend DR. Raymond,
was loviai man of about So years of age,
who met with a disappointment carly in life,
and who consequently, had settled aversion
To nlntrimonv.
Kiulall lived with his wife and her s.othcr
in a charming villa on the Hudson heyond
Highbrilge
As he turned to go 10 the station on the cle-
waited he seemed to be a changed man owing
to the promise of his friend. DR.. RAYMOND.
His face seemed as devoid of care Ms that of a
stingy man who had inhaled laughing gas at
ten cents a h. la, ut the exIelae of some
body else, To Use an expression borrowed from
the advertisement Of n country dentist.
Supper was scarcely over when Mrs
Swiftly PROPOSED that she, the young hus-
band nph lis wife Emily should take a stroll.
wiIen iSo door bell rang and DR.. RAYMOND
w.; announced
Mrs. Swiftly, allow me to introduce Won
to my friend DR. Raymond He is IA gentle
man who stands in the front rank of his pro-
f,~slon, and who is a gentleman of extraor,ii-
nary wit and hunor"
Il am very much afraid that the result of
my friond Johns praise will he somewhat in
the nature of a disappointment, for when
come t. deliver the goods they will Lot come
up TO the sample" remarked the doctor
Mrs Swiftly responded. smilasly. that she
had great confidence in her son i.,-law's iuda,-
ment and requested the doctor to make him
self at home,
In short time DR.. Raymond and Mrs.
Swiftly were 81 busilv engaged in converse
ton that sho did not perceive that John and
his " Re were no longer in the room. They
had taken advantage Of the opportunity to
indulge in the unhcariof luxury of a stroll
with the mother-in-law left out
The silvery rays of the pale moon twinkled
among the new born leaves of the naples
Tue lazy zcphyIs OF the night famed their
faces as they idle,l about tine velvety lawn,
and anon gentle sigh would find its way
from each loving breast calling and answer
ing like spirits OF the night. Time passed so
quic bly that john was astonished 30 find. on
that two whole hours ad passed since they
had left hie house. AS they entered tho
look at his mother-in-law's face but there
was nothing To indicate that she was aware of
their absence. She was laughing heartily at
some facetious remark of the doctor, who also
seemed 10 be in the best of spirits.
John accompanied his friend to the front
gate when the latter took his leave There
were real tears of gratitude i'll the young
husbands eyes rs he said
Doctor, it is easier to make a New York
alderman give up his doodle than Ter me to
shed tears, but my eyes are filled with real
tears of gratitude. 1t is impossible for me to
repay your kindness IN entertaining my
mother-in-law.
Il didn't mind It."
"Nor did | either By love- il l was presi- |