Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-12-07


WHO HANG Up DINNERs-rALK ABOUT WINES.
Two young men in striking and elaborate
toys sat down at table in a cafe, and one of
them VINO wore a silk hat and cape coat said
to the waiter i'll an off-hand way:
Bring US quart of Mumm."
When the mental returned with the wine in
an ice pail the purchaser threw IS bill down
and said carelessly: Keep the change"
The steward of the hostelry, who was talk
ing on the other side of the room with STAR
writer, for whom he had brought some special
delicacy, eyed this performance with an
amused expression about the corners of his
mouth, and said in an undcrtone:
CHEAP SMELLS
You might suppose from the indifference
that youth exhibits as to money that it was of no
consequence to him; and yet, curiously enough,
l happen to know that he is a clerk in a bank
on a small salary with no outside resources
worth mentioning. II may be set down as a
general truth that no man who really has
plenty OF cash and who has always been accus-
toned to the use of wealth ever makes dis
play of 1t in that way. 1t is always the habitu-
ally lmpecunious customer who throws around
bis coin, when he has any, to the servants and
manlfests a conspicuous contempt for vulgar
change. Somehow the young man who can
only occasionally enjoy the luxury of rafting
a few dollars in his pocket cannot resist the
temptation, whenever he has an opportunity,
to assume what he imagines to be the airs OF
riches. or course he never realizes that he is
giving his poverty dead away. Among all the
men who come here to eat drink and
be merry, the ones who appear the
most unassuming are those who really
possess means. They fec the wait
ers, but not extravagantly and, if they have
large rolls of bills in their clothes-things. by
the way, which few rich men carry around
they take care not to show them. And you may
put 1T down as fact that a customer does not
necessarily earn the respect of an attendant by
giving big tips; Oh the contrary, waiter only
thinks IA man fool who gives too much, how
ever he may veil his contempt for such folly
behind a mask of servility. tip of 25 cents is
often In much better taste than dollar. The
youthful dude who stalks into this cafe, orders
two cigars for himself and friend, pays for
them with dollar bill and waves the waiter
away when he brings the change on silver
plate, is not impressing the establishment to
such an extent as he imagines; he is much
more likely to be taken for a young jackass
who lives on his father"
THEY LIVE on PAP.
Young jackasses of that description are de
sirable customers, l suppose" suggested the
newspaper man.
Not particularly so. As a rule they don't
really have much money to spend and the ac-
counts they hang up are frequently not easy TO
collect. The same may be said of the young
clerks who try to keep up an appearance of
fashion on altogether insufficient means. 1t is
matter of endless astonishment to me how
some of these fellows, with no incomes to speak
OF, 80 out i'll society, dress well and pretend to
be swell5 with such fair degree of success.
To a certain extent the mystery is explained
by the profit and loss accounts of the florists,
the tailors and the hotel keepers The tailors
suffer most of course, but the florists are VIC
tins to a great extent also, and we hotel men
lose good deal III the course of year. I'm
like the tailor and the florists, this establish
ment never tries to force the payment
OF bill either by employing the services
of a collector or by suit. Ii an account is due,
we send bill on the first Of each month regu-
larry; but, supposing 1T is not paid at all, no
fuss IS made about tive simply make up our
minds that we are SO much out of pocket and
take care not to trust that party again. 1t is
not good business policy, you see, for house
Ike this to dun people. 1t is better to lose
pretty penny in bad debts than to get reputa-
ton for dunning; there is nothing that gives
worse offense, and the worst beat may have
acquaintance with desirable set. Bills due
from young men with fsthers are often col
lectable by sending them to the paternal adj
dresses. The fellows who beat us are the very
ones who assume the most magnificent airs in
bestowing their custom"
THEY HAVE TO TRUST.
ing credit"
1T is impossible to help giving it. What
else can We do? OF course, we don't trust peo-
pie we don't know, but any person known to us
at all, or whose friends are known to us, we
can't refuse. A man who has been in here a
few times comes up to the desk and saws: Il
want to give little dinner tonight for six;
here is my card and address; you won't mind
charging it and sending the bill around after
ward, supposer In such a case the chances
are very much in favor of its being all right,
and We can't afford to take the risk of saving
no. SO he gets the dinner without any trouble
maybe it costs S75 or S100-and we gamble on
the result. OF accounts hung up we lose about
III per cent; the rest are paid sooner or later.
1t Is very apt to be later, for people think
nothing of making us wait two three years
for our money. 1t is quite usual thing for a
customer scarcely known by sight to order an
elaborate dinner, and, when it has been eaten,
say: Just charge that to me- When that is
done We simply ask for the address and charge
1T, as requested. We can't help ourselves; the
dinner has been eaten, and We couldn't get our
moneys worth by wiping up the floor with the
man, as is customary III the west, under
stand.
ST REMEMBER HEARING STORY
not long ago-maybe it's a chestnut-about q
fellow who walked into a Chicago restaurant,
ate a costly meal, with Wines and when he was
through went up to the cashiers desk laid
down his check, picked up toothpick and
cody informed the functionary in charge that
he hadn't red cent The cashier pulled out q
huge revolver, and pointing it at the customer,
told him that he would give him a dose of that
if he didn't hand over the price that instant
"'W-w-whats that thing you've got there?'
asked the beat, exhibiting great alarm.
cots a pistol-SeeP said the cashier, still
aiming the weapon.
"'Oh, is that ALP replied the customer, in
, tone of intense relief. why, how you fright
ened me. l thought it was stomach pump
IL have known occasions myself when I
should have taken pleasure in ministerng to
dead-beat customer with an actual stomach
pump, but, alas! it is against the rules of the
house. You have no notion how many dis
agreeable things we hotel people have to put
up with-how many snubs from snobbish guests
and other exasperating annoyances we must
endure without showing resentment and even
with smile. In this business one cannot
afford to make enemies"
socIETY BEATS.
II should suppose" said The STAR writer,
'that these young men of fashion who beat the
florists, tailors and hotel keepers would become
known after while as habitual swindlers and
be socially ostracised."
''Not bit of it. Society doesn't care whether
young man pays his bills or not, 80 long as he
is well-dressed and agreeable. went to the
theater one night last week with a friend of
mine, who is a fashionable tailor and among
the young men in the boxes and orchestra
stalls, who looked SO sick and talked so merrIly
with the pretty women between the acts, he
pointed out dozen who owed him considera-