The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-02-23
a WORD OF WARNING.

engaged her so earnestly In conversation
that the Ottawa boy was left as one who
was out in the cold and could not get in.
As the freezing tactics became more and
more pointed, he became more and more
angry, and at length, as last resort, APP
pealed to friend, who is ever fertile in
engineering, to assist him. The friend
slid around and speedily procured al in
PRODUCTION to the La Sale youth
"Sayw he circulated, before the La
Sale youth could acknowledge the intro
duction, Don't you remember me,
Billy"
Billy (doubtfully)-" Ye-sw
"Of course you do. Didn't | used to
play ball with you down at La Sale.
Come let's have something"
And he dragged the unwilling youth up
the stairs and spent money on him. Mean
while the first young man was not idle.
He was fly, he was. He ran the girl into
the cloak room and talked with her nearly
au hour, before the La Sale youth, who
had been looking all about the building
for her, entered and took her away, with
the remark that he was mo gentleman"
Here is subject which l approached
with fear and trembling. Not that Sc
riously apprehended the condemnation of
the ladies', but that | seem, even while
writing, to hear them pronounce that word
so fatal to all mention of things ancient,
4" chestnuts." Mr.. Allen, member of the
Legislature of Nevada, unlike the Crafts
and Browns of Illinois, seeks not to revel
in sewage and other damp subjects, but
strikes the manly heart in spot where 1t
mas longed to be struck ever since Shakes
peare died. Shakespeare awakened the
slumbering chords of the harp of the hu-
man heart-Allen has produced a cure for
more heartaches than Shake ever dreamed
of. His cure Is in the nature of bill in
troduced in the state assembly. 1t is this i:
"Section /. 1t shall be unlawful for any
|
wear covering for the head which shall
reach more than three inches above the
crown of the head, and any person wearing
such acovering for the head shall be guilty
of misdemeanOr, and shall be fined in a
sum not less than S. nor more than $40
or imprisoned in the county jail not less
than two days or more than five days; pro
vided that this act shall not apply to women
over 30 years of age.
Sec 3 The act shall take effect on and
after the 25th lay of February, A. D
1889"
| Now this bill appears to cover all emer-
gencies that may arise, for | do not antici.
pate that there are any ladies over thirty
five in this city, OF course | may be
mistaken, but | say what believe to be
true. What | propose to do is just this
Organize an Allen club; appoint a com
mittee to secure and train lecturers or
on Allenism; raise subscription of fifty
thousand dollars and present it to Allen
When this has been done induce him &c
reside In Ottawa, and then elect him gov
ernor for life with monarchial power. He
is the beau ideal of my kind of Legislator
He will fill yawning chasm, whose sides
shall be lined with roses and moisteno &
with eau de cologne when he comes Il
Ottawa.
Poison the fountain, and the stream |:
impure; poison the blood, and Its faint i:
carried through the entire system-thOse
innumerable veins and arteries carry dis
ease and death instead of life and vitality