The Ottawa free trader., 1889-04-20
The Man About Town.

icoucu ioTWuiu oAPSe'"'J
eyes" he said. " used to keep cat all
the time, but the boys fed her on fish and
meat, and the number Of fits she would be
able to produce in week was astonishing.
Yes, sirl WELL one day she had fit and
Chicago drummer told me to chop little bit
off the end of her tail He said it would
cure her. did, but she Lad another fit
next day. then chopped another slice OIL,
b but she still had fits. 1t was chop and hts
for week, till all that was left of her tail
was half inch stub"
"What did you do then?" inquired an
anxious listener, for the groceryman had
paused and was chewing his cud refectively'
81 chopped that off too.'
He had paused again.
"Well," interrogated the head clerk, by
way of prompt.
alt stopped the fts-cat died"
*x*
"The joke you told about the one'eyed
Aman and the poker game was good one,
but I've got one that can lay over it, said
gentleman to me the other day.
81 hope So"
"Yes, there were about dozen OF us
down at Starved Rock last summer, and just
to pass away the time we spread lap robe
on the top of the rock and engaged Ia
little game of poker. Seated behind one oil
the party was well known joker and sport,
MI ,h,,n =
backs. Bye and bye this party became
steady winner. Veal dropped out with
the exception of one of the boys, who sud
denly began betting against this party,
When they showed their hands each had
three kings and two queens. We counted
the cards-there were eighty four in the
deck. If the winner had not decided to
divide up the money there would have been
war"
The resident representative Of a Chicago
shirt house had rather funny, and not to
say exasperating, experience the other day
He received a consignment of half dozen
shirts for fat saloonist, and when he de-
livered the goods was met with request to
try them on To this he readily agreed, and
one shirt was found to fit perfectly. But
the saloonist insisted upon trying all of
them on. He stood patiently by until the
job was completed, but it consumed the
entire forenoon.
%.*
1t is well said that little child will
stumble upon matters which cOnfOund the
most learned, and well knew that remarks
made by them, had some famous humorist
been their author would have added new
charm to their sketches. | have now IN
mind a little one whom | CHANGED to observe
in Hapeman & Graham's store on Saturday
evening. She, with the credulity of those of
her age, believes every toy and stationery
store to be the headquarters of Santa Claus,
Mr.. Graham took an interest in her.
might say that Mr.. Graham loves children
almost as we'll as he does the grand old
democracy.
els Santa Claus at homer" she asked.
- On, no! Shlu hS, oHuth SihuS OhIy
comes at Christmas time
"Will he come next Christmas
.Yes, am sure he will"
"He comes down the chimney, does
he?"
"Yes. Is your chimney large? You see
he must have large chimney, for he carries
large bundles
81 don't know 1t will grow, won't it?'
This was a poser, and the conversation, at
least, as far as chimneys were concerned,
fell rather fat"
"See that six board fence over there?"
Tommy Smartboy, of Wallace was speak
ing to his cousin, Jimmy Greenhorn, of
Kansas.
eyes
Bet yuh kin throw down my hat and
jump over H."
What'll yuh bet?''
"Betchu a chaw!"
"All right
Tommy throws down the hat. Jimmy
picks it up and waits for Tommy to jump
the fence. The hat joke was imported into
Kansas before Tommy Smartboy was born.
Tommy did not know this-he knows it
now.
*.*
noticed rather comical affair on La
Sale street on Tuesday afternoon of last
week. Several of our bright High School
boys were returning home from their days
task. Just in front of them was an equal
number of budding bellies from the same
educational institution.
"Emp'
1t was the voice of one of the boys. EN-
did not signify that she had heard.
"0h, EN-"