davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
Mhisken.

What Is there that is so tremendously funny
about the word whiskersl Instances where
the use of it will not raise laugh are hard TO
find. Hard as tn, fact may be to explain, it
is nevertheless triIe that jokes in which whis-
kers, or reference to them, no matter how
irrelevantly ma6 a. excite more merriment
than any other form of witticisn,,under the
sun. A, let US say, who is smooth shaven,
meets B, who rejOices in flowing set of jowl
trimmings. "Ha," says A, you're looking
pretty fine this morning, B; wSiskers are
well, see" Whereupon A laughs uproari-
ously and strides Off leaving B,sure that a
good thing has be en- said, but slightly mysti
fled as to its gene -al purport. In the theatre
the word is indispensabig to the low come
dian. In play witnessed some little time
ago one OF the comedians walked on the stage
wearing long Sc of gray whiskers. "Golly,"
cried the second comedian, who was standing
near by, what "a chance for the wind"
Whereat tue pa 'quet Uttered, the balcony
laughed and the gallery howled itself into
hts. For the boarding house funny man to
remark that 1.-THE butter has whiskers on it"
Is TO insure him a round of applause from his
friends at the table, while if he makes the
observation that the tardy dude of the estab-
lishment, whn is ate for dinner, is ''combing
his whiskers, his reputation as wit will be
firmly established for all time Ii is all very
wonderful, but very mysterious Perhaps
in order TO unde rstand the full amount of
humor contained in reference tc whiskers
1t is necessary TO wear them II is almost
worth while raisi NJ "a set to find it ut-Chi-
cago Journal
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
ADVlCE ro uoTHHRs.

Are you disturbed at night and broken
OF your rest by sick child suffering and
crying with pain of cutting teeth2 If SO,
send at once and get bottle of Mrs.
Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
teething. Its value is incalculable.
1t will relieve the poor little sufferer i'm,
mediately. Depend upon it mothers.
there is no mistake about it. 1t cures
dysentery, diarrhoea, regulates the stom-
ach and bowels, cures wind collie, soft
ems the gums, reduces Inflammation. and
gives tone and energy to the whole sys-
tenn. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup
for Children Teething is pleasant to the
taste, and is the prescription of one of
the oldest and best female nurses and ply,
sicians in the United States, and is for
sale by all druggists throughout the
world. Price 25 cents per bottle.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
An UnIucky GYmnast.

In 1856 New York city was the theatre of
another neck brei king episode in which the
patient recovered At one of the many gym
nasiums one Thomas Chalmers tried the diff
cult feat OF turning three summersaults in
mid-air from spring board
He made two complete revolutions, but fell
heavily on his he5d and shoulders before the
third was completed, doubling his head under
his shoulders in such way as to split the
third cervical veruebra and cause the fourth
and second to touch each other after the
third had been split and forced to either side.
The usual restorativeS were RESI-
bandages were applied, and in leir of an
hour Chalmers was able to speak. Within
seven weeks he could be turned in bed with
out endangering his life, and in less IL an
three months wa so far recovered As to be
able to sit up two hours without fatigue. At
the end of six months he was discharged as
cured, and within 200 days from the time of
the accident resumed his usual work-John
W. Wright in St. Louis Republic.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
An Alleged yyhim of Society Girls.

IL is nothing new for society girls to imi-
tate the tricks of facial expression and head
pose of dramatic stars, Everybody has OBJ
served that the fair ones are not above this
folly. They hav, not sat hours in a theatre
during the season for nothing. They have
not been students of the stage beauty without
consciously or unconsciously adapting To
their own personalities many characteristic
for the increasing of their own attraction
All, what countless new airs and graces, as
well as new costumes the Boston society
young woman takes off with her for the
summers campa gn at Newport or at Bar
Harborl Never yet has it quite been recog-
nized what univ ersal models, what potent
teachers of pretty tricks of coquetry that en-
slave. or are supposed to enslave, the mascu-
line heart, these actresses are Who has not
seen at every veil ball or reception some
stately Mary Anderson, some black eyed
Frenchified Mile Rheag And now who is
this new little lady whose quaint, whimsical
jerk of the heaG is all the fashion! Julia
Marlowe, without doubt.-Boston Advertiser
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

But how TO tell liar is often perp!exing,
indeed never knew but one infallible rule
for the detection Df such. That was the plan
employed 10y an aged Hibernian, whose boys
attended the country school where in boy
hood | imbibed knowledge or at least was
supposed to. In the quarrels and fights Incl
dent to school life it fell out frequently that
the sons of Pat Carey were drubbed, or
drubbed their opponents. When the former
occurrence occurIe ed it was the habit of Mr.
Carey To bring lis outraged offspring to the
domiciles of us boys, and there proclaim our
wickedness. In hose visits he was wont to
rely on the stories of his sons, stories which
were directly opposed to those with which
we Justified ours elves to our parents At
such times it was Mr.. Carey's habit to sup
port the testimony of his children thus:
Thomas, put out your tongue; eff you've
been iyin' to ye' father yer tongue III be
black"
Whereupon Thomas would exhibit his
tongue, and as il disclosed no ebon hue, Pat
considered his eau sc triumphant.-C c. Pack
ard in Toledo Journal
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
A Puzzled Celt.

A class in a Sar Francisco art school was
recently started by the sudden appearance in
it's midst of dilapidated Irishman, who,
with tears I'm his eyes, begged for enough
money to get hin ''bite," The first i'm
pulse of the presi ling genius was to request
him TO move on, tut his picturesque qualities
suggested that he he giveE a chance to earn
his supper by sitting as a model
'Sit down." s. id the instructor. kindly
"If you will permit these young ladies to
paint you, we vii pay you four bits What
do you says"
''Av oil let 'em wh-at!" replied the beg
gar, with puzzled look on his face
Paint you. 'aint you. 1t won't take
very long"
''Bedad, oi wan tn foor bits bad enough, -
he returned, after a moments reflection, ''an'
DILL be viry gla-ad t let tn young la-adies
paint me, av ye1 tell me how'll oi git tn
paint arf av mo afterwards -Harper's
Magazine
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
Hay Fever.

l have been afflicted with hay fever
from early in August until frost. MY
eyes would run a stream of water and
sneezed continually. l was advised to
use Ely's Cream Balm. 1t has worked
like charm and Can say l am entirely
cured.-Mrs. Emeline Johnson. Chester,
Conn.
/ have been for several years a sufferer
from hay fever and severe head colds. /
have found nothing that can compare
With Elys Cream Balm. | would not be
without it for any consideration. 1t is
simply wonderful in its effect upon the
nasal organs S. II. Burtt, Wilmington,
N. c.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
EPOCH

The transition from long lingering
and painful sickness to robust health
marks an epoch in the life of the individ-
ual. Such remarkable event is treas
ured in memory and the agency whereby
the good health has been attained is
gratefully blessed. Hence it is that so
much is heard in praise of Electric Bit
ters. So many feel they owe their res-
tOration to health, to the use of the great
Alternative and tonic. If you are troubled
with any disease of kidneys. liver or
stomach, of long or short standing you
will surely find relief by use of Electric
Bitters. Sold at soc and 81 per bottle
at Hartz BahDsen's drug store.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
Their Businss Booming.

Probably no one thing has caused such
a general revival of trade at HaItz &
Bahnsen's- drug store as their giving
away to their customers of so many free
trial bottles of DR.. King's New Discovery
for consumption. Their trade is simply
enormous in this very valuable article
from the fact that it aways cures and
never disappoints. Coughs. colds.
asthma, bronchitis, Group. and all throat
and lung diseases quickly cured. You
can test it before buying by getting a
trial bottle free, large size 81. Every
bottle warranted
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
Sir Walter scott.s Street Fights.

Street fights of the upper ten" boys with
the town boys helped Scott latter long
years" out of troublesome conversational
embarrassment with the Car Alexander in
Paris in 1915. Tie car seeing Scott in his
blue and red dress of the Selkirkshire lieu
tenancy. and noticing his lameness, asked
Scott in what engagement he had been
wounded. Scott at first said that he suf
fered from natural infirmity, but as this
did not satisfy the car, Scott added that he
had been engaged ''in some slight actions
such as the battle of the Gross Causeway and
the affair of Horedun Milln-and then
managed to turn the conversation To some
other subject.-N )tes and Queries.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

In the pursuit of the gOou things of
his world we anticipate too much; we
eat out the heart and sweetness of world.
ly pleasures by delightful forethought of
them. The results obtained from the use
of DIR. Jones Red Clover Tonic far exceed
all claims. 1t cures dyspepsia, and all
stomach, liver, kidney and bladder
troubles. 1t is a perfect tonic, appetizer,
blood purifier, sure cure for ague and
malarial diseases. Price,. so cents, of
druggists
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
A Goofi Auuetlte

is essential to good health; but at this
season it is Otter lost, owing to the pow
erty or impurity of the blood. derange-
ment of the digestive organs. and the
weakening effects of the changing sea-
son. Hoods Sarsaparilla Is wonderful
medicine for creating an appetite, toning
the digestion. and giving strength to the
whole system. Now is the time to take
it. Be sure to get Hoods Sarsaparilla.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
BucK1.EN's .RN1c. sA1.vp

The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises. sores. ulcers. salt rheum, fever
sores. letter, chspped hands. chilblains.
cOrns and all skin eruptions. and posi-
lively cures piles. or no pay required. 1t
is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction
or money refunded. Price 25 cents per
box. For sale bv Hartz & Bahnsen.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
A Sensible Man.

Woald use Kemps Balsam for the throat
and lungs. 1t is curing more cases of
Coughs, Colds. Asthma. Bronchitis,
Group and all Throat and Lung Trobles
than any other medicine. The propries
tor has authorized any druggist to give
you q sample bottle free to convince yoa
of the merit ot this great remedy. Large
bottles so cents and 81.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

Who of us are wlInout trouble be they
small or larger The blessings of health
are best appreciated when we are sich
and in pain. A hacking cough. a severk
cold, OF any throat or lung disease are
very troublesome; but all of these may be
quickly and permanently cured by DR..
Bigelew's Cure. Safe and pleasant for
children. Price 50 cents.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
Discovery of America.

An historical turlesqLer has it that the
king of Spain on,e said to distinguished
nav igator, columbus, can you discover
American
Certainly, your majesty, if you will give
me ship" He isot the ship, he sailed far
Off and one day came to land. Hailing a
chief on shore he asked:
lis this Americif"
Yes; who are your
Il am Columbus"
"Of course" Then turning to his tribe he
sad: There is nc use denying it; we are dis
ofyered n-Exchange
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

A lecturer in San Francisco, treating of
the lower forms of animal life, said that
1.-The oyster is capable of being educated
in limited way."
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

FAST MA IL TRAIN with Vestibuled trains be-
tween Chicago, Milwaukee, st. Paul end Mime
apolis.
TRANSFORMING FNTAL ROUTE between Chi
cago, Council Blufs, Omaha and the Pacific
Coast.
GREAT NATIONAL ROUTE between Chicago
ksnsas City and st. Joseph, No.
5700 MILES OF ROAD reaching all principal,
points in Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa,
Missouri and Dakota.
For maps. time tables, rates of passage and
freight, etc., apply to the rearest station agent
of the Chicago. Milwaukee L ST. Paul Railway or
to any railroad agent any where in the world
ROSWELL MILLER A. V. II. CARPENTER,
General Manager. Gen1 Pass. 4. Agt.
~ For Information in reference to Lands and
Towns owned by by the Chicago Milwaukee d
st Paul Railway Company write to H. g. Han
gen. Land Commissioner Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

Annexation to the United States has
become so popular in Newfoundland as
to cause anxiety in London.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

Arthdr Blackford. of Chattanooga, was
arrested and jailed for stealing two silver
dollars covering the eyes of a dead baby
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

The expectation of petroleum last
year was the largest ever known, amounts
ing to Gle ,000. .000 gallons 1t was worth
S49. 120,S17.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

Asa Williams killed Sidney Golf in Ma
con, Ga, the other night for five cents
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
THE TRAVELLERS GUIDE.

HHlCAGo, ROCK ISLAND & PACIFIC RAIL
Way-pePot corner Fifth avenue and Thirty
fir>t street, j. F. Cook, agent
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
In the pursuit of the goon

Toxic, Japan, has society of sculp'
tors which comprises $50 members.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
the CHICAGO, ROCK ISLAND & PACIFIC halfway,

tncuding
San ROCK
Ps sRs SeSns
MISSOURI Topska
@ Spss5 % "a eeorsao
Ing Cars
ces agd 0 S
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

Passenger trains arrive and depart from Uuion
depot Peoria.
Accommodation train leaves Rock Island las
p. IN. arrives at Peoria , 30 a. m Leaves Peoria
7:l5 p. m arrives al Rock Island :05 a. m
CABLE BRANCH.
Acco1 &C ON. Accom-, Accom-.
400 pm 9.10 an " r. Isl'd ar sos am $40 pm
5 90 pm 10. 20 am ar Reylds " 40 am / As pm
5 35 pm - 90 am ar Gable lv. 4. 80 am 12 so nm
Chair car on Fast Express between Rock Island
and Peoria in both directions
II. b. SUDLOW, r. STOCKHOUSE
superintendent. Gen'l Tkt. Agent.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
ELY's
Cream Balm
CURES
CATAE r Fl
Hay
Fever

Aparticle is applied into each noetril and is
agreeable. Price so cents at Druggists; by mail,
registered, 80 cents. ELY BROTHERS. 56 War
rem street New York
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

BURLINGTON ROUTE c.. B. Il @. RAIL
D way-Depot First avenue and Sixteenth ST.,
J. Yourg, agent,
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14
MAGNIFICENT VEsTIsULE EXPRESS TRAINs.

eadfng al Of
Chair Missouri
iofes @ e6 Joseph kansas
Gaiforlia Routes nom Salt
VIA THE ALBERT LEA ROUTE,
SOLID
n ,rhough Chair Car Sleeper
North Invest -N1~Ae .-~ N-'.-Ae
TEE SHORT offer ncnite TO
once In the United States Canada,
f. ST. JOHN. JOHN SEBASTIAN,
General Manager CHICAGO.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-08-14

THICAGO MILWAUKEE d ST. PAUL RAIL
~ way-Racine IL Southwestern Division-De-
pot Twei tieth street between First and Second
avenne. e. ID. ". Holmes, agent.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1889-11-22

How is the Cemetery movement
progressing? Now that the Fair is
over and all excitement, on that line,
ia subsidized, it would he well to push
the interest of the Cemetery. 1t is
something greatly needed in our
midst. as everybody knows, and
should receive the undivided support
of every man of family in the COM
munity.
The crop yield in Chowan county
was very .spoor this season. We
understand this is true in almost all
the counties in The Albemarle sec
ton. The hardest worked people in
all the earth are farmers and it does
seem strange that they should be the
least rewarded. although, it is a fact,
both certain and universal. How we
wish.t otherwise J!
Mr.. S. T. Neblett, Agt. for Estey
Organs and Pianos, who has been for
some months resident in our midst, is
aboutto leave town in the interest of
his company. He desires those who
wish to make orders to apply to him at
once We shall regret to lose Mr.. \.
from our midst even tempor. riiy. H,
is a man of business and of geniai
character.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1889-11-22

Three Cents per line for all locals under
this head. Elsewhere five cents.

For a safe and certain remedy for
fevor and ague, use DR.. J. II. Nc
Leans Chills and Fever Cure; it is
warranted to cure for sale by H. A.
Bond.
No need to take those big cathartic
pills; one of DR.. j. FL. McLean's Liver
and Kiddey Pillits is quite sufficient
and more agreeable sold by H: A.
Bond.
Faults of digestion cause disorders
of tire liver, and the whole system
becomes deranged. DR., j. H. Mclean S
Sarsaparslla perfeets the process OF
digestion and assimilation, and thus
makes pure blood sold by H. A: Bond.
Dizziness, nausea, drowsiness, dis
tress after eating, can be cured and
prevented by taking DR.. j. H. Nc
Leans Liver and Kidney Pillets Qittle
pills., sold by H. A. Bond.
Sick headache, bilousuess, nausea,
costiviness, are promptly and agreeably
banished by DR.. J. H. McLean's Liver
and Kidney Pillets Cittle pills. for sale
by FL. A. Bond.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1889-11-22
HISTORICAL FACTS.

There has been FIVE Presidents
born in Edenton y. c., and two Of
hem wer born in a house that used
to stand, where the Great Bargain
Store of Eastern n. c. now stands,
and is now known as r. J. Milche:ls
Bee Hive Store.
George Washington started at
Cheap Cash Store on the same
business principles that the World
Renound Bee Hive Store is now
run. but father George was broken
up by the long and cruel Revolu-
tionary war.
Soon after dear old George started
in the mercantile business and failed.
One Mother Shipton prophesied
that there would be born in the year
1862 a male child, who would grow
to be man, and between the Years
1886 and 1899, in the town of Eden,
ton, N. c., should keep GREAT
BARGAIN SrorE and, that it should
be known as Little Bob MitchelPs
Bee Hive Store, and that there would
be sold at this wonderful store men S
All wool sack suits at $500.
Mems al wool Cashmere
Broken check sack suits at $3.50.
Mems Indistinct sack suits
from So so to $1I.oo.
Mems light medium and
dark shiviot cutaway cults
from $I2.5o 10 SIG so.
A full line of mems Pants
Of every color and style
from IS cts. to So. 90.
Boys double breasted, all
wool suits at $500.
Also full and complete line Of
Ladies Dress Goods, with trimmings
Of every description to match, at as
tonishingly low prices.
And in the months Of Nov. and
December, in the Year 1850, there
would be offered, at the Bee Hive,
a large lot of Ladies Fine Shoes,
mostly in small numbers at ONE HALF
THEIR REAL VALUE, and there would
be sold ladies hemstitched linen
handkerchiefs 3 for 25c.
Wool Jersey Gloves 3 for CSC.
Wool Cashmere gloves 3 for csc.
Silk gloves, any color. 3 for 49c.
Colsets, worth SI.25, for SO cts.
White Blankets at CSC.
Fine Rose Blankets for 81 SO.
I'VE are convinced that the proph-
esy of this wise old Lady is true, be-
yond question.-ED.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1889-11-22

To those, living in town, who prefer
paying for their paper by the month,
we propose as follows:-To deliver the
FISHERMAN AND FARMER at your
homes or. places of business, as you
shall direct, at the rate of Is cents per
month. Payment to be made regu
larly, otherwise paper is to be with
drawn at once.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1889-11-22

At conference of the business men
and the Farmers Alliance of Edge
oombe, it was shown from careful re
ports that the losses by the shortage
of the cotton crop. as compared with
last season, is at least $500, 1000, and
this in one of the most fertile counties
in the State. The people are greatly
concerned at the prospects --Ex,
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1889-11-22
NOTICE

Having qualified as administrator Of
the estate of Eli Britt hereby notify
ali persons having claims against the
same to present them to me for pay
ment. on or before Oct. lst 1890 or thus
notice will be pleaded in bar Of their
recovery.
All parties indebted to said estate are
requested to make payment at once.
4. j. WARD, Admr
Gliden y. c. Oct, 2Sth, 1889.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1889-11-22
EDENTON ACADEMY

Fall Session began
MONDAY, SEPT. 10th. 1889,
and will continue forty weeks.
Boys and girls prepared for College
or business.
L. A. WILLIAMS, PRINCIPAL.
MRS. HELEN WILLS, ASSISTANT.
RATES OF TUITION:
Per Month of weeks: Per Year:
Primary Department., $1.6O. $1,000.
Intermediate (" $40. $24. 90.
Academic Sc $500. $32. 90.
Latin and Greek each 8 80. S 500.
French, =" $1.00. $1,000.
Both the Principal and Assistant have
had the experience of many years in
teaching.
Boys over twelve years of age, who
are provided with Cadet Muskets not to
cost exceeding five dollars each and
Uniforms not to cost over ten dollars
each, will be drilled regularly in Mill
tary Tactics.
Board, at moderate prices, can be Sc
cured for those pupils who live at dis
lance and / will take pleasure in secur-
ing it for any who may wish to attend
the school.
For further particulars address
L. A. WILLIAMS, Principal,
EdenIon, n. G.