davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
A FRENCH PICTURE OF WILHELM.
The Young German Emperor Is Not Hand.
some Man.

New YORK Herald.
ga friend OF mine who has Just returned
from a visit to his native town in Alsace. I"
said Mr.. A. c. Gunter yesterday, "met
the young German Emperor face to
face some weeks since in the streets
of Strasburg. My friend is a French
man, not that Frenchman,' but another
one, and that may account for some slight
bias in his views of the Kaiser But he
says he had heard of the Emperor as tall.
straight, soIdierIy-looking sovereign, of fair,
broad brow, and dauntless eye. What he
did see, as he describes it, when he met
Wilhelm, was a lowering brow, shoulders
almost as i'll matched as Richards, a face
deeply pitted by what seemed to be the
traces of dissipation, and a sullen per-
sonality back Of it all, rendered all the more
sullen BY the uselessness of the withered
arm BY his side That is a Gallo view.
but my friend believes 1t a true one. He
also told me that he saw an inofensive AL
satan yanked brutally from his feet by a
guard and dragged of to prison because the
poor fellow, in an absent-minded wav, for
got where he was one day and whistled the
'Marseillaise' softly to himselfP'
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
HOW TO MAKE A HYPOCRITE,
Give Him a Government Position and th
Thing In Dane

Give Him a Governments Position and the
Thing is Done.
Washington Post.1
There are so many funny things taking
place now about the headquarters of the
various political organizations, +" observed a
clerk in one of the uptown departments.
'Some OF the chaps who could not have
been dragged to their home with an OK team
last year are now fairly falling over each
other to get their names on the list of those
who are going out 10 the States to vote. On
the other hand the Democratic clerks who
made so much sport of their Republican
friends last year are as quiet as . funeral
procession about these times.
Their excuses for not taking part in the
campaigns in the different States are as
funny as they are numerous tell you, the
way to make hypocrite Of q man is to give
him a Government position %
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
S12-A MUT1LAr1oN,
:hiopia,s dsnths nrofonnd

In Ethiopia's depths profound
'Tis said the tchOEe in herds abound;
Though very active. strong and free,
Its hold on life is strange, you see,
For il by chance it lose its head,
Not death, but endless life instead.
But If perchanee it lose its tail,
Then life itself will surely fail;
And naught remains but cloth oblonz.
Well known in manya an ancient song.
If from this cloth one end we tear.
A robe is left the Pope may wear;
Now, II this scarf you dare prOfane.
Such vandal act perform again,
A partner you will surely find.
An accomplice suited to your mind.
Had you but rent the other end.
Then Fortune would your steps attend:
NO dire result on you could fall,
No harm is done-yOu'Ye lett it all.
N. q. WooDFoRr
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
808-A PHONETIC PuzzI.E-

oUo-A PHONEIIC PUZZLE.
A foreigner who did not know q word of En-
glish, but who was an expert stenographer,
took down in shorthand the sounds uttered by
public reader. At the close of the entertain
ment he translated his notes phonetically as
best he could, and presented the following
lines to an American friend, who recognized in
them quotation from familiar poem:
"Fulmen neeage EN- uvpewress stracer reen
thiddar kunfath hemmed kave zuyotion bare
full menneeaff louriz baWntoob lushion seen
andway sits weet nesson thiddez urttare."
j. II. FEzANDE.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
GETTING MARRIED At SEA.
How California Couples Avoid Trouble and
save License Fees.

Save License Fees.
Los Angeles Tribune.l
Getting married at sea Is now the
''proppah capah" for clipping couples, par
ticularly If the bride be under age. BY this
system no license is required and no perjury
need be committed. All that Is necessary
Is to get tug or yacht and pass out the SIX
marine miles from land, and then the cap
tain Of the ship can perform the ceremony
under the law regulating marriage upon the
high seas.
It is a great scheme, and IL being worked
pretty lively Of late in CAlifornia.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
Bad Boy-De old blind chump won't mo
de difference if help meself to some of his
nickels.
Pr.,ty Good foraGus,.

Chicago Advanced
"WhO was the first man Tommy" asked
the Sunday school teacher, after explaining
that our first paren Is were made from the
dust Of the earth, Henry Clay. ma'sm."
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
s11-DoUBLE AcRosr1c.
Words of efoht letters.

l. One who occupies or has possession. z To
steep almost to solution. 8. A mode Of ex-
preston peculiar to a language. 4 Mus !
Slackening. s. Formed of pure fre or light.
8. lHindu myth.) The trinity of the Vedas
I. Inference. 8. An alloy of gold, silver and
copper. 8. A recluse. 10 Vegetable caseine,
Prindls- Gifted in conversation.
FTndls-A mineral. usually Of bright green
color. IKEL
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
THE FIRESIDE SPHINX
4 Collection Of EnigmaHCd Nuts for
Home Cracking.
address communications for this department.
to E. r. CHADBoURN Lewiston, Maine.

S06-DEATH AND THE RoBBER.
Death was distant one night from his bonnie
abode,
When he happened to meet with a knight of
the road:
"Your name and your purse. or my pistols con-
tents;T
No time was allowed for regrets or comments.
Death flung him his card, and the villain looked
vexed:
ION the back have scribbled from numbers a
text;
[Facsimile.J
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10

important matters to attend to. found it
verv amusing TO listen to the harmless
chatter of the man with strop and soap.
But the King had another cause for liking
his barber. The latter was a very curious
character, anxious to pry into everybody s
business, and there were few things happen
ing around the court that he did not know
something about. Thus it was that the King
used him very frequently as a spy, and it
very seldom occurred that the barber did
not find out the information he was after.
However, as much as this barber was the
fsvorite of his master, the King, there was
not eourtier around the royal palace who
would not have rejoiced in seeing the barber
in disgrace. This can be easily accounted
for, because the barber told the King of all
the pranks and ignoble actions of the cour-
tiers and hence there was not one of them
who had not at one time or another received
q punishment because the barber had acted
as the informant against him. But the cour-
tiers were determined to get even with their
tormentor, and they laid their heads to-
gether to devise a scheme which would cost
the barber not only his job, but also the
Kings favor and even his life.
So one day, while the barber was walking
up the marble steps of the broad stairs
which led into the magnificent castle of the
King. a number of the courtiers were await
ing him.
"Come here, john" said one of them,
1--WE want to have talk with you"
"All right, gentlemen" replied John,
''but please do not detain me long, because
the King is next, sirs, don't you know"
''We know all about that, but if you will
listen to us for few moments only, you
will be glad we have detained you, because
what we have to tell you concerns the King,
too
Persuaded in this manner the barber was
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
S09-NEw YORK TO CHICAGO.
Suggesting a date for the Fair.
Dear Madam:


Suggesting a date for the Fair.
Dear Madam:
Should you get the Fair
(The pro7erb says, first catch the hare''l
A brief suggestion I've to state,
And that's with reference to the date
On which you hope to have unfurled
Its wonders to gaping world.
Apart from advertising fame
The mighty dollar is your aim;
Now there's day in every month
Between the thirty-firs and ''oneth.'
If you this lucky date select,
The fortunes in it TOR q fact.
But don't you think when all Is Ger
You'll want a new Divorce Court more;
Go get yourself one while you can,
Built on the Can't LeGUe her" plan;
For fairs Pm better suited, for
My motto is
K L G R
W Wraor
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10

oOe-1 a. hASuAoA3 81
SOL Lord Alfred Tennyson. z Thomas
AlYa Edison. 3 General Boulanger. 4 Cor.
poral Tanner. S Father Damien. 6. Grover
cleveland, T. Benjamin Harrison. g. John
Boyle O'Reilly.
S04-Fraud, frau, F. r. A.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
Watch That Chicken.

c. c. Horr, of Eureka, had pullet with
fonr-well formed legs. Just wait till Mr..
Horr's neighbors begin to make gardens.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10

Each character there can q character spare;
If you make the selection with caution and
care
Nor the symmetry mar of the word that re-
mains,
The result I commend to yourself for your
.pains.n n
same,
He'd have answered his query Of whats in an
0tnlf' W. WILSON.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10

Detroit Advertiser.I
ImpassiOned Youth-ArabeI. love youI
Will you be mine?
Girl of To-Day-Come, come now; III
marry you, if you like, but Pm not going TO
be yours; you've got to be mine, and do as
say, or you can get divorce for ineompati-
bility.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
R1PLE LETTER ENIGMA.

810-TRIPLE LETTER ENIGMA.
In ''matrimonial;'
In ''hegemonical%
In ''energetical."
Did you ever see the great compEeEe,
With its animals fierce and wild
If not, you've missed splendid treat,
Liked both by man and child.
G. A. PRICE.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10

Lawyer McCutcheon (of Helena, Mont. }
We'll?
Bung Weep-We velly much likee you
punish Hong Wah. He kiily Chinaman.
Lawyer McCutcheon-But the District
Attorney has charge of that case.
Bung Weep-Dhstick Tolly no makee
charge. He too slow. S'pose you punish
him? How muchee cost you hangee him I?
How muchee cost you plison him for lifee
Puck.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
ANSWERS.

7p6-Divide the year 1883 in equal parts By q
horizontal line and get loo IN each, the cube
root of which Is 10
T-l. Whiskey q Turnkey 3 Donkey.
L Monkey 8 Turkey. 6 Darkey.
-CnnQrafnlafa
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10
WRITTEN FOR THE DIsPArcH.1 J

had once a barber,
of whom the Mon
arch was very fond
for several reasons.
The barber was a
great talker, like
most BARRIERS are
to-day, and the
King, who had
nearly the whole
of his day so many
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10

807-CURTAILED DECAPITATIoN.
A small inlet or bay
Or cove, we will say,
Beheaded with vapors emit
IL we also curtail.
We shall have, without fail,
A Portuguese coin, small bit.
BITTER SWEET.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10

But their descendants have nearly all out
grown this Puriuanic severity, this gloomy
austerity, this prescription of amusements,
this setness against all that makes life
pleasant and joyous, just as they have
given up the long faces, the nasal whine,
the funeral cant and the other absurdities Of
the forefathers in Cromwell's days, when
the "Barebones Parliament solemnly de-
creed that the road to power and place
should be held sacred to those of real godli-
ness, but as events proved, rather tO-its at
fectation by ambitious and inscriptions
men.
There are yet few of the old sort left, a
few who still would like to enforce the strict
observance Of Sunday after the old Puri-
tanic pattern, who still object to the celebra-
ton Of Christmas, who still would put all
amusements under the ban. who still stand
by Rouse's version of the Psalms, and hold
out against an organ as profane and un-
godly thing, but they constitute most mel
ancholy minority in these days. A few
Methodists there may be who sigh for Wes-
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-10-19
The Gar at Berlin.

BERLIN, Oct. 1.-THE car arrived
here this morning. Shortly before the
arrival of the cars train the emperor
with Prince Bismarck, Count Herbert
Bismarck and many generals Of the Ger
man army and several German princes
and a large number of government Of
ticials reached the station and awaited
the coming of the imperial visitor. Tae
car, wearing the uniform of the Alex
andra Regiment of the German Imperial
guards advanced to meet the emperor.
AS the latter came toward him the two
emperors a~ffectionately embraced one
another, and the ear shook hands with
Prince Bismarck.
After a brief conversation the car
and his attendants entered the state car
riagcs, the guard Of honor defled and
assumed its place in the procession and
the imperial party were driven
at a fast trot to the Russian
embassy. Great precautions were taken
against the approach of the populace to
the imperial carriage, and were as per-
feet in effect as they were formidable in
appearance. The route from the rail-
way station TO the Russian embassy was
lined with troops, and the cheering on
the part of the populace was very feeble,
and the enthusiasm Of the people was
far from being dcmonstrative.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-10-19
Is in America.

New York, Oct. IA London cable
says; All fears regarding the fate OF
Rev. A. +, BarReld, the Baptist divine
and eloquent orator, of Walsall, who
disappeared in August, have been set at
rest by the discovery that he sailed as
NJ Wilson" for tho United States on
August 20. A MRS. Wilson" who was
booked with him, is believed to be
Maggie Bourne, a young woman who
was his frequent companion in his lec-
turing tours. 1t has also been discov-
cred that they stopped at several hotels
as man and wife. The woman Is 20,
and Barfeld, who leaves a family, is 46.
lie is one of the most popular and
sought-after lecturers in the country,
and also edited several religious papers.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-10-19
HON. S. S. COX EULoclZED.
Services Held in Memory of the Late
Conprcsgman at Coouer Union.

Services Held in Memory Of the Late
Congressman at Cooper Union.
New York, Oct. IA large assem-.
blage gathered last night at Cooper
Union at the services in memory Of late
Congressman S. S. Cox. Among those
on the platform were ex-President
Cleveland, Mayor Grant, ex-Mayors
Hewitt and Cooper, General Sherman,
General Pryor, Chaplain Milburn, of
the house Of representatives, Senator
Aldrich, George w. Curtis and John A.
Cockerill. The services opened with q
prayer by Rev. DIR. McSweemi, after
which ex-President Cleveland was in
troduced as the presiding officer of the
evening.
Ex-President Cleveland paid a high
tribute to the character of the dead
statesman. After speaking at length OF
his public spirit and high integrity, Mr..
Cleveland said: 'But while we thus
contemplate the value Of unselfsh pub
lie usefulness, we cannot restrain a re.
Election which has a somber coloring,
What is the condition Of the times when
we may justly and fairly exalt the mem,
Dry of a deceased public servant because
he was true and honest and faithful t.
his trust? Are we maintaining q safe
standard to public duty when the exist
ence of these virtues, instead OF being
/, general, are exceptional enough TO cause
congratulations? l beg you to take
, home with you among the reflection.
which this occasion shall awaken an ap
5 probation of the truth that If we are {.
secure for ourselves nll the blessings O
our free institutions we must better ar
Z prehend the interest we have at stak
" in their %scrupulous maintenance, an,
, must exact OF those whom we trust il
= public office a more rigid adherence T.
= the demands of public duty"
/ Among other speakers was Congress
man Proctor Knott, whose address wa
: the warm tribute of a personal friend.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-10-19
COMANCUE.

rs present enviable condition is due
20 the excellent showing he made in tho
Caster massacre. His master at that time
was Captain keogh. m of Clusters Off
GERS, and he had carried him through
many q desperate brush with the Indians.
At the battle Of Little Big Horn, the one
in which Custer and his command was
surrounded and killed, Keogh was shot
early IL the fight and fell from Com
anche's saddle. 1t was impossible for
any of the soldiers or even their horses
TO get through the surrounding ring Of
savages. When the latter withdrew
they supposed that horses and men we're
all dead. This was true of all but Com
anche.
He was wounded by many bullets aud
bleeding profusely, but he managed to
reach q brook, and here he was found
by Major Reno's men some time later.
He was standing in the water, looking
mournfully over the battle-ground. His
legs were swollen TO three times their
normal size. an his suflcrings were SO
intense that orders were given to shoot
him and end his misery. The orders
were rescinded, however, and every er.
fort was made TO save him. He was
iAShtANA WIN az uAblObb balattLSD, aIlu
slowly his wounds healed. He was the
only survivor Of the terrible fight. After
his return 10 Dakota. Colonel Sturgis. OF
the Seventh U. S. Cavalry, issued this
order:
HEADQUARTERS SEVENTH US. AVAIL
ny, Fort ABRAHAM LINCOLN. ID. r.,
April 10, 1873. -General Orders No. z.
/. The horse known as "Comanche,"
being the only living representative Of
the bloody tragedy of the Little Big
Horn, June 25, 1876, his kind treatment
and comfort should be a matter of spe-
cial pride and solicitude on the part of
every member OF the Seventh Cavalry,
to the end that his life be prolonged to
the utmost limit. Wounded and SCARED
as he is. his very existence speaks in
terms more eloquent than words of the
desperate struggle against overwhelming
numbers; OF the hopeless conflict, and of
the heroic manner in which all went
down that fatal day.
3. The commanding officer of Com
pany l will see that a special and COM
Portable stall is fitted up for him. aud he
will not be ridden by any person what
ever under any circumstances, nor will
he be put to any kind of work.
8. Hereafter upon all occasions Of
ceremony (of mounted regimental forma.
tion) Comanche, saddled. bridled, drap.
ed IN mourning, and led by q mounted
trooper Of Company !, will be paraded
with the regiment.
Although there are many scars on his
body he does not appear TO be suffering.
The orders regarding his care are faith.
fully followed. and no one is allowed to
mount him. Before going to Fort Riley
he was stationed at Fort Meade. D. t.
Nep York Sun.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-10-19
Horses Cremated.

FORT DODGE, Ia, Oct. 1.-THE large
livery barn of Oxby Bros, at Corwith,
Ia, was totally destroyed by fire yester.
day morning. Six horses, including a
$4,000 stallion, were roasted in the
flames. The origin of the fire is
shrouded in mystery. Although the
barn was occupied by two men, neither
of whom can be found, it is not thought
hat they were cremated, as a careful
examination of the embers thus far fails
to reveal any traces Of them. At last
advices they had not turned up. and
their mysterious disappearance is caus-
ing considerable conjecture. The total
loss will exceed $40, 600.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-10-19
DAK0TA'S CROPS
The Crop Situation Better Than
Expected in the Da-
kotaS.
The Average Yield Is Less Than
for 1888, but Is a Credit
able One.
Tho Last Crop Report TO BE Issued
10y the Commissioner OF
Immigration OF the
Territory.
Crops in Dakota.

Aberdeen, 5. d., Oct. 11.-F. II.
Hagerty, commissioner of immigration
Tor Dakota, has made the following
showing Of the crop yield for the year
1889:
If the superiority of Dakota as an ag-
ricultural region needed further demon
stration, it is to be found in the results
of this years crops.
Reports were sent broadcast over the
country that the crops in Dakota were
an almost total failure. Indeed, within
the territory the gravest approximations
werc entertained, for never was the pro-
ducing capacity of a region moro
severely tried by adverse circumstances.
There was an unusu- | lack of rainfall,
and in some regions the grain was beset
while yet in the milk by hot winds; yet
out Of what seemed disaster, out of
what vertically might have proved ashes,
Dakota again rises, Phoenix like, and
surprises the world with II succession of
splendid crop totals. Again the empire
territory distances every state and ter
ritory in the production of wheat. and
rolls up the grand total Of 44,OO9, 092
bushels, a total based upon a careful
estimate, and best Of all, nearly every
bushel of this great amount is of the
very highest grade, largely of the No. l
hard variety-richer in the albuminoids
than the wheat of any region in the
world.
AS will be seen from the accompany
ing tables the total acreage of wheat in
Dakota for 1889 was 1869, III acres, the
yield as above stated was 4 1909, 092
bushels: the total acreage of oats was
l,122, 402, and the yield 81, 800, 70S bush
els; the total acreage Of corn Sl4,G77,
and the yield % $780, 73 bushels: the
total acreage of barley 255, 800, and the
yield 4,455, TT bushels; the total acreage
OF rye 10, 754, and the yield 301. 107 bush
els: 1898 acres of buckwheat yielded
49, 64 bushels; 1866 acres of potatoes
yielded 4,03S, 1862 bushels, while 403. 3l4
acre of flax produced 1888, lis bushels
OF flax seed.
AS compared with the crops of 1888
when the acreage and yield were as fol-
lows:
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-10-19
Another Shocking Case.

New YORK, Oct. IA London cable
says: Another and still more shocking
case than that of the earl of Galloway's
has been unearthed in the west end.
In this case n peer and five untitled
men Of fortune are concerned, and the
number of young girl victims is ten
The peer, 1t is said, has left the coun,
try, and Inspector Abberline, OF Scot
land Yard, is now IN Paris in connec-
ton with the case. 1t is thought that
the alleged offenders may prefer volun.
tary exile to the risk Of standing trial.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-10-19
Is 1t ANY

That DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Discov
cry o~utsells all other blood and liver medi
cines, since it possesses such superior cura-
tive properties as to warrant its manufac-
turers in supplying it to the people las they
are doing, through druggists) under condi-
ions such as no other medicine Is sold un-
der, viz: that 1t must either benefit or cure
the patient, or the money paid for IL will be
promptly returned 1t cures all diseases
arising from doranged liver, or from i'm
pure blood, as biliousness, silver com
plant" all skin and scalp diseases, salt
rheum, letter, scrofulous sores and swell
ings, fever-sores, hip JOINT disease and kim
dred ailments.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-10-19
A Manufactured War Story.

OTTAWA, Ont, Oct. 11.-This morn.
ing Sir Adolph Caron, minister of the
militia, was very disgusted whenshown a
dispatch from Montreal to the effect that
the English wal Office had requested
full information regarding the facilities
for transporting troops in Canada and
that the order indicated a possible
rupture between Great Britain and the
United States. He said no such an
order would come to him and he had
not been requested to furnish such In
formation and thatthe story was utterly
without foundation.