Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-09
PITHY PARAGRAPHS.
Incidents and Ideas of the Lightweight
Class IntermingIed.

BLAST March
For sweet charity's sake.
TRoUBLoUs times before June Is
THE hading veil is the fading veil.
ODD advertisement-Freakw wanted.
ANCIENT LENT-Sackcloth and ashes.
MODERN LENT-Sacquecloth and sashes.
WIGGINs says there will be snow to-day;
that is, Virgins says so.
THE drama of life-Act birth. Act p
Trouble. Act 3-Death.
THE school teachers were paid yesterday,
and now about that new dress.
"FLUcCoUNT O. the war in Simonv' was the
cry of one Pittsburg newsboy yesterday. \
JUDGE STEVENSON BURKE, of Cleveland.
was in the city yesterday. He dimes at the
LAWYERS complain of lack of business
They are not great sticklers for Peace on
earth good will to men,"
AUGUST HART was fined $40 for being bore
on oath of Mr. Giles. The man with a story
would be worth 500 at that rate.
A POOR man reports to the police that two
friends disappeared with his money. That
man has queer idea of friendship.
WATER SUPERINTENDENT BROWN will to-
morrow advertise for bids for 8 $50 tons of water
pipe, of 4, 6, s, Il and 30-inch sizes.
ALLEGHENY Sons of Temperance No. 135
will give Martha Washington tea party this
evening at their hall, IS Ohio street.
ISAAC GREY, of No. 40 Fourth avenue, has
been notified to tear down or fix up his build
ing at once, as it Is called dangerous.
W. J. STEINMETz of Washington, D: c., is
at the Duquesne. He is assistant to his father,
the architect of the Carnegie library.
THE Government building is waiting for
new roof 1t is certainly sufficiently aged to
know enOuph TO come in out of the rain
RECEIPTS wanted for preserving sealskin
sacques through the summer. The man who
sold that receipt last year need not apply.
JOSHUA MCGLUCKEN. a carpenter, while
working on building at Woods Run, yester-
day, fell from scaffold and broke his leg.
MASTER WORKMAN Ross, of D. A 8, K. of
L. went to Homestead last evening. where he
addressed the local assembly at that place.
MR. BLAINE, at this critical juncture etc.,
etc. the eyes of the world are upon you," but
come to think of it, they have never been of.
THE mistaken divinity that shaped the ends
of the postofice dudes, probably can make
more insignificant heads but doubtless never
did"
IT is said Ben Vandergrift lost his $500 dia-
mond pin at the Inauguration ball. 1t will take
more than that to knock cheerful Ben of his
pins.
WILLIAM BENDER smote Peter Wasslinsk
on the nose. Wasslinsh can't speak English,
but knows the language of American law, and
sued Bender.
CHARLES E. HURLBURT, Assistant State
Secretary of the Kansas Y. NJ. c. A, has been
elected Secretary of the Y. NJ. c. A. of this
State and will resume his duties April l.
IT wasn't Mark Twain" but MARK Ten"
that Justice Gripp said to Marco Bozzaris
WIshart when he gave him the alternative of
30 days in jail yesterday-l0 or 80, you know.
EXPOSITION managers met and approved
the rules governing the splendid fall show.
The plans were prepared by Superintendent
Johnston, and will be published in a few days
ISN'T it sad, the girl with fad
Has no pleasanter occupation
Than thinking of ways, the men to amaze
While the latter say only -"
THE Allegheny Bessemer Steel Company
made start in their works, at Duquesne, yes
day. but the mill will not be put in full opera
ton until Monday. About 500 men will be en-
ployed.
GOVERNOR LARRABEE, of Iowa, was in the
city yesterday, returning home from Washing
ton. He thinks prohibition will be a success In
Iowa. will be" is good, for State that has
already tried it.
An inspection of the entire police force will
take place in Imperial Hail. Grant street. at 10
o'clock this morning. They will be drilled also
by Captain A A Brown. All this occurs after
they have been paid.
Mr.. CHESS BIRCH, the musical Evangelist of
St Louis who is now assisting the pastor at
the Mt. Washington Presbyterian Church
viii give talk in the meeting Monday morning
on Revival Services"
THE laundry girls at the Point formed a
washtub club for the purpose of encouraging
young Benedicts. This would be all right but
maybe they want the young men to manipulate
the machine Mondays.
THE word America seems to win everywhere
but in Samoa. The All-Americas won over
the big-footed nine in Paris yesterday, and they
do say Ward made faux pas that delighted
the French and paralyzed his managers.
THE Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Rail-
road has requested the students of the School
of Design to make a number of designs to
decorate the ceilings of passenger cars. So it
seems the school is to be useful as well as orna-
mental.
THE Sons of Temperance gospel temperance
meeting will be held tomorrow evening at 86
Ohio street, Allegheny, at 7:30 Rev. Mr..
ThurSby will make the opening speech: subject
Drink" Other good speakers are expected to
address the meeting.
JOHN METZ OF Woods Run, Allegheny,
swears that August Heinman struck him on
the head with beer bottle. Alderman Foley
issued a warrant yesterday for Heinman's ar
rest. on charge of assault and battery. He
wants to know what he did with the beer.
WITH smile,
Full of guile,
He came into the Office with some verses,
With gun,
1t was DONE
And the funeral requires seven hearses.
GEORGE BONNER & Co., Chicago jobbers in
glassware, are embarrassed, and yesterday
made a proposition to Pittsburg creditors to
settle at the rate of IS per cent The offer will
be considered. 1t is said the firms liabilities
will amount to about $4,000. Thirty-five per
cent is good average for Chicago failure to
yield; anything above zero, in that case.
THE Pittsburg postofice, like the Western
Union telegraph, is more than local, handling
as it does, millions of letters in transfer from
other places. Postmaster Larkin has two
Richmonds already in the field after the plum
with some persistent people to come. The
two candidates said to have splendid backing
are j lanes S. Mexican and Harry G. Ford
JOHN WASHINGTON has a-peculiar way of
showing his love for Cornelia Saunders. The
girl says John wanted to marry her and she
objected. John didn't seem to like this and
shot at her once or twice as starter. She fed
and says John fired at his own head but made
another clean miss. This disgusted an officer
and the bad marksman went to Jail. Both
parties are colored.
AN era of reform is dawning-whether mis-
taken or otherwise time will tell. Look at the
list: Law and Order, White Caps Anti-But-
terine, Prohibition, Anthony Comstock, Editor
Shepard. the Universal Peace Society," the
White Rose, Tariff and Political Reform, To
Regulate Marriage and Divorce, Taxation,
Civil Service, with Broadax Smith and Mrs
Cleveland's hustle to hear from.
do you drink, or have any other questiona-
bic tendencies?" asked the P. r r. Superin-
tendent of an applicant, before concluding
whether to employ him as a special and con-
1idental messenger. ''Oh, no. sirF" was the re-
ply. I've been president of a Lawrenceville