Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-03-08
HUMOR OF TIE DAY.
A land of distress Wales.

A land of distress Wales.
On strikc-A parlor match.
A shepherds crook--A sheep stealcr.
The scaboard-Sa pork and hard
tack
With the builder it's either put up OF
shut up.
In tho matter of fans the Chinese take
The palm.
The "nimbc shilling" must be made
out OF quicksilver.
Now say tho bees after the hive is
prepared for them: Gwen make things
hum here"
a spirit thermometer is best for cold
weather purposes, because there is always
Il drop in it.
Shrcwd inquiries are beng made as to
whether the cup of sorrow has saucer
Can any one tell.
Jay Eye Sec will probably remain on
the turf instead oil going under it,
Nen York Uerdl1
When it comes to question between
pies and pizin it is hard to decide
Richmohd Dc>patch.
Uncle sam may laugh at Canada, but
he can't catch n nation by exclamation.
Detroit Free Pres.
If he who hcsitatcs is lost, the man
who shutters must have great difficulty
in finding himself. - omercM, JouymaL
Ills II human net to kill CANNES
i'y electric shocks We own
But then IL gives Il wicked tiiste
10 the sausage of Boiogne.
DoIhv sGIVhot .1;1 ,.o,, Gov 40 1y d.
-"Nevcr mind.n Bobby-sl don't Of
tencr than have to, do I2"-Binghamp-
ton RcEutiican.
$50 old Brown is dead, CHI? Well,
we'll Did he leave anythingl" "Yes.
1t broke his heart to do it, but he left
everything. "-Ih~pc,'s Ra-ar.
a clergyman who married couple of
deaf mutcs in Brooklyn the other day
made IL bad break when he wished
them "unspeakabic bliss. u Tie Cartoon.
He who fights and runs away
May live to fight another day;
But he who never fights at all,
Vet swears he whips, has lots of gall
Tennyson compares men to trees, and
perhaps he is right about some men, who
are all limbs, whose boughs are awkward,
and whose general reputation is some
nAul olisiti (.-f@ U 4 ora 'NNU.
Little Boston Girl Gas the hair-brush
is reached Mamma, the consecu-
t.vencss and tic prevalency of these in
terminable castigations are slowly sap
ping my very life - Time.
The United States Post Office Dcpart-
ment is pretty well supplied with regula-
tions, there is one more we should like
to see adopted about this time-"Post
no bills. "-Bur'ingtOn Free Press.
He said in tones CT sorrow,
No friends i'll need' for me!
Tho friends that want to borrow
do not wish to see
Boston Courier
lie Misunderstood.- Robinson--"How
does it come that you are always in the
courts" Lawyer That's my bust
ness" Robinson-"Oh, well, / wouldn't
get SO touchy about little thing if
were you. y Time.
Bakcr-"What is the price of floui
to-day!' Assistant-"Somewh high
er." swell, go down and tell the fore
man to chuck in more yeast. Thank my
stars, cid Hutch can't get up corner on
wind. ~ Philadelphia record.
"Why, Mrs. De! auccy, what is the
matter with your daughter Florence2
She looks completely used up and done
for" "oh, she's all right, Mrs. Van
Tyke. She has just graduated from
finishing school" -!Sprtnafctd Union.
He knew that she loved him, for when it was
late
And high over the earth stool the moon,
AS he took up his hat and strolled out to the
gate,
She asked. care you going so SOON
Merchant Traveller.
When Chaplain McCabc was in Kansas
on tour endcavoring TO raise ST.
600, 600 for missions, little boy heard
his appeal, and thinking of the large
sum he had TO raise, determined to help
him. The first chance he had early in
the week he gathered baskctful of
chestnuts. width he sold for five cents.
lie sent this to Mr.. NcCabe with the
note: 'If you want any more let me
know."- Chicago Herald.