The Republican., 1889-02-02
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
some More of the Experience of an Enter
prising Western Journalist

"The Terror of Bloody River" struck
our town the other day with wild
yell and started in to foreclose on 6
mortgage. The boys were mostly
asleep or out shooting jack rabbits, but
it wasn't over seven minutes after the
Terror uttered his first whoop that he
lay wilted daisy on the street. The
coroner counted eighteen bullet holes
in his body. and humbly observed that
there was no call for an inquest. The
age of the Terror has passed. There
was time when it was considered real
funny for tough to capture towr
and pop over n dozen leading citizens,
and his picture was certain to appear
in some illustrated paper as a hero,
but that time has gone by. Terrors
have become dog cheap, and no one
wants to buy. The coroner has our
thanks for his kindness towards us in
this particular case. We are trying
to grow some catnip and asparagus in
our back yard and he gave us the body
of the Terror as fertilizer. We should
like three or four more, and trust that
our friends will be on the lookout to
supply us.
Nor OUR FAULr.-We want it dis
tinctly understood that we had nothing
whatever to do with the unfortunate
incident that occurred on Jackass Hill
last Tuesday evening. Mrs. General
M t1c,,a1 h;rrl,
coffee, and most of the elite of the town
had gathered at her two-story abode,
when the sheriff swooped down and took
away seven prisoners, mostly charged
with horse stealing. We neither gave
them away nor knew that such raid
was intended, but this proves anew the
folly such gatherings. Society wants
to show off, of course, but what's the
use in collecting a crowd for the bene-
fit of the sheriff?
He MUST Go.-While we have no
personal feeling against Major Bigden,
the present postmaster, the fiat has
gone forth that he mustgo. and it would
be useless for us to defend him. In
deed, when one looks over the past
year he must conclude that the major
has only himself to blame. The charges
against him are:
l. Running the office on the one-man
power principle. In % new town like
this all the boys want a hand in run
ming the post-ofiice.
2. Refusing to circulate among the
saloons and poker-rOoms and show that
he didn't feel above the boys.
3. Putting on heap of style when
ever an inspector is here and refusing
to introduce the boys.
He must go. He might be an orna-
ment to New York or Philadelphia, but
he is too rich for the blood of a new
Western town.
BECOMING SERIOUS. young
men who make a practice of firing into
the Kicker office on their way up and
down at night may be extracting
great deal OF fun over it but we are not
As long as they fired high no particular
damage was done except to the stove
pipe, but OF late several bullets have
whistled too close to our couch for
comfort. We have been patient and
forbearing. not wanting to deprive the
boys Of any legitimate amusement, but
this firing must be stopped or we will
take vigorous measures against the
shooters.
HIT Us WRoNG.-We have several
times announced that we had our
ION" spells and our ''off'' spells in re-
gard to fighting, and that citizens who
tackled us must take their chances.
Last Friday the old broken-backed
hyena who edits the opposition sheet
saw US get a letter in a mourning en-
velope at the post-otfice, and he con-
cluded it would be an "off" day with
us and pitched in to get satisfaction.
The mourning envelope enclosed q let
ter from the bank at Tuscon, giving
notice that a draft sent for col
lection had been, much to our
astonishment, collected. The old rep
tile above referred to therefore hit us
dead wrong, and he had no sooner put
up his dukes than we went for him and
had him hollcring for mercy inside of
five minutes. He says in his issue Of
Yesterday that he thought we were try
ing to draw a gun on him. but chat is
too thin. What he really thought was
that we had hit him with a ton of
granite.
WE HAD love understand that
some of our leading citizens blame us
for the arrest of Colonel Jim Drake,
who was pinched and taken to Omaha
the other day. We did write a letter
to the sheriff that Jim was here and
could be had'ans day in the week, but
we had to. He not only persistently
refused to subscribe for the Kicker,
but he avoided our grocery and dealt
with non-advertisers. In addition to
this Jim was getting puffed up and
conceited, and he had an idea that he
was running the town. We want to be
friendly with all. but we must be used
right. The first duty of every man in
this town who knows he is wanted by
sheriff anywhere is to come in and
subscribe. Price two dollars per year.