Morning journal and courier., 1889-11-04
M mysterious.

In Kentucky prohibition is known as hy-
drant-headed monster.
First key-"Well, what ails you nows"
Second ditto-"Oh, I'm In hole again.
New York Sun.
A writer says: "Laziness grows on people" {"
This information will surprise those people
who supposed 1t grew ON trees.-Norristown
Herald.
A delicate question.-Miss Bsaeonhill.
"And do you sing, Mr.. BadliehazedF' Mr..
Badliehazsd, '9S-"Only for the sopho-
morss. s."-Harvard Lampooa.
"I would shed my last drop of blood for
the nation!" cried the candidate fer honors.
"You bet you would-for the nomination." !"
was the sarcastic reply.-Puck.
The New Spitz-He-"That's handsome
dog you have there. What breed is ita"
Boston High school graduate (smbarrassed)
-Thatl that's a saliva dog.
"What is YOUR name" "Cohn, sir" "In
that case you will not do. I am the only
man who can be called Cohn in this sstab-
lishment. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
Jack-"Hew 10 it Algyi Do you like mar
ried life as we'll as you did club lifsi" Alzy-
"Yes, about the same" Jaek-"As re-
member it, Algy, You never cared much for
club life." Algy-"No; never cared about
it."-Judge.
"I thought the Longstaffes were friends of
yours" "Oh, mol Ny mother rented house
from them once and couldn't pay her rent.
They allowed her to stay in it a year free and
that's how I came to know them. They're
no friends of mine."-soeiety.
For Time to Settle.-Edith Downes-"No,
papa, can never accept Mr.. Scads. He
is nearly twice my age." Old Mark Downsa
-"Humphl but he won't be, twenty years
from now" Edith Downes-"Thep, papa,
let him wait twenty years."-Tsxas Siftings.
Young widow-t'Mr. Preachly, will you
| marry met" Mr.. Preachly-"Well, really
Mrs. Buckner, this is so sudden, and"-
Young widow-''Oh, we'll, take your time te
think 1t over. Mr.. Harkins aud thought
we'd like to have You perform the ceremony
for us."-Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Gabb (hostess) )-"Your little son doei
not appear to have much appetite" Mrs
Gsdd-'No; he's quite delicate" Mrs.Gadd
| -"Can't you think of anything you woulc
like, my little man" Little man-"No'm
| You see MON made me eat hull lot before
| we started, SO I wouldn't make pig of my
lf."-New York Weekly.
Late at the Observatory-"Please tell nj
| where am to 90. I was invited to see tn
! transit of Venus" IT am extremely sorry
madam, but you are too late. The transi
was over fifteen minutes ago." "Oh, that
ne matter. The superintendent ia friend o
mine and am sure he will have il done agail
for me."-Fliegende Blatter.
Mrs. Grubber-"Well, well! What fool
these editors bel" Mr.. .Grubber-"Ehi" Mrs
| Grubber-"Here writ letter to the edito
of the Punkinville Trumpet, asking wha
would be q proper an inexpensive thing t
git fer weddin' present, an here in the pa
per he's printed list of about hundred
things what folks gives as weddin' presents, ar
there amt one of 'em costs less than dellar.
New York Weekly.
The following is an extract from res
composition written by small school boy II
New jersey. The subject given by the teaehe
was the extensive one of ''Msn." Here
what the small boy wrote: "Aan is a won
derful animal. He has eyes, ears, mouth
His ears are mostly for catching cold Ia an
having the earache. The nose is to get snif
fes with. A mans body il split half way u
and he walks on the split nds."-Lippir
| cott's Magazine