The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-10-19
LOVES ~STRATAGEM!
Suicides Versus Lucre as Cures for
Broken Hearts.
(BY NARY KYLE DALLAs.)

distinguished poet at a very early age,
and without any thought of the future.
/ scarcely thinkif his parents had known
what a very short fellow he would grow
up to be they would have distinguished
him by an appellation SO open to jokes.
However, they did it.
l had known him as a little boy, and
when / was II years old and keeping
house for my granduncle Joshua, he
called and sent up his card. He had
come to the city to honor the firm of
Tape Sc Buttons with his presence behind
its notions counter.
| was pleased to see him, and told him
SO, and he replied:
81 scarcely expected it. l thought
you would o have known me. The
ravages of time must have changed me
greatly. They have only improved you,
you know, but, combined with care, they
have traced many lines upon my brow, I
know"
l remembered that he had recently ac-
quired a stcpfather who was said to fog
him frequently, SO I looked sympathetic.
"You certainly had long curls and
wore frocks when l saw you last, Mr..
Tibbs," ] said, land you must be 10
now"
"And a half" he added, gloomily, 'and
a half. However, my heart is young yet.
You are keeping house for an uncle, 1
am told, Miss Rosina."
'sYes," l said, she is awfully nice and
SO lonely. Mamma spared me to him for
that reason"
"What a happy man he is! How en-
viable," said Mr.. Tibbs, "to have a niece
to keep his house."
"Perhaps, Mr.. Tibbs," said I, when
you are az old as Uncle Joshua you may
also have a niece to keep house for you"
Perhaps" he said, gloomily, .sbut 1
don't see how that can be, as I have
neither brothers nor sisters"
Just then a bell rang and Uncle Joshua
called over the stairs to me to "Ask the
little boy to stay to dinner, and come at
once"
Mr.. Tibbs refused this ceremonious in
v~itation with a little hauteur. Heprided
himself on being rather old, and departed
for the time. However, he came again,
and still again, and in the course of a
month began to propose to me.
Ispeak correctly. Other people, I be-
lieve. 'pop the question" once and have
done with it.
l never knew of the most ardent pas
sion OUTLYING three reflections; but Long
fellow Tibbs went through a course of
them as though they were lessons in
something.
He always went away in despair, but
returned to the charge as fresh as ever.
His tailor bill must have been greatly in
creased by his tender passion, I am sure,
for he always went on his knees to offer
himself. and was twice caught at it
once by the chambermaid and once by
Uncle Joshua.
At last he began to threaten self de-
struction, and one evening left me,
swearing that / should never see him
again alive.
/ did not believe that he was in earn
est; but / felt a little anxious, neverthe-
less, when a week passed by without
any news of him-and I rather missed
him, too, I must admit. But judge of
my horror when, one evening, a messen-
ger boy put into my hands an envelope
sealed with black wax and wearing a
mourning border an inch wide, and
opening it I read these words:
"CoRoNER's OFFICE.
"MIss OR MADAME-The inclosed hav-
ing been found upon the body of a gen
tleman who has just drowned himself
in the Hudson river, I inclose it to your
address, imagining that it may interest
you. THE CITY CORONER"
Tremblingly I tore open an envelope
which was inclosed and read this:
"DEAR RosINA-Yes, standing on the
verge of a watery grave, | may address
you thus-dearest Rosina, your cruelty
has driven me to desperation. Without
you I am wretched. You will not be
mine; therefore I win no longer live.
Ere you read this | shall be no longer
capable either of love or of despair. Yet,
if my departed ghost a visit these ter
restrial scenes, l shall come to you in
those bright moonlight hours l have so
loved because they brought me to your
side, and you shall know that l am with
you-by a breath, a whisper or a touch.
SIN my death perhaps you may give
me what in my life you have denied
your love.
"Your wretched and devoted
"LoNGTELLow TIBBs."
I read the document to the end and
went off into Mysteries. Happily Uncle
Joshua was away on a fishing party, and
no one came to me but the chambermaid.
She was young, pretty and sympa-
thetic. | felt obliged to have some conf
dante, and I told her everything. She
wept with me over the ''poor young
gentleman's" untimely fate, but declared
that I was not to blame, Cor nobody
could marry every n that asked them,"
and instanced one Patrick O'Rourke,
who threatened to dynamite himself the
next blast whenever she declined his
offer. "And how can I say yes" said
Nora. "when I like Pat German far the
best2 And it would be me he'd murther
if l Tilted him."
But Nora could not console. I was
utterly miserable. | cried myself sick
and actually took to my bed, Nora min
i~stering to me tenderly. And when
Uncle Joshua returned he found me
wrapped in q shawl and sitting up