davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
SOCIAL AND Personal.

On Tuesdays Mrs. Harrison is not at
home. Miss Lula johnson will be mar
Iicd In October In the meantime she
and her brother will occupy Admiral
Febigers beautiful country home in
MARYLAND. Mrs. Palmer Kellogg and
her daughter sailed In La Normandie
marry Chicago millionaire on June y.
DIR. and Mrs. Marmon spent couple of
days AT the Clarendon last week on visit
to Mrs. Marmion's mother. Mr. Gilbert
Mcngcn. the American artist, has been
decorated by the President of Venezuela
in recognition of his work for the gov.
ernmcnt Colonel Craighill, Colonel
Mendcll and Major Post who ure in
spccting the French systcmof military
engineering, have arrived In Paris
The ladies of the Corcan Legation went
down the river to Mount Vernon yes
tcrday. Count d'Arco Valley gave u
handsome dinner last Sunday TO q mum
ber of members of the different Corps
Miss Adele Grant Is visiting Miss Ellen
Munroc in Paris. Mrs Clephone gives
luncheon on Thursday at her resi-
dence for the benefit of the Homcopa
thic Hospital. Mrs. Porter Heap is
reported slightly improved. Mrs. Z.
NJ. Paddlcford has arrived in Paris.
Mr.. and Mrs. Jules Guthridge are
spending q fortnight at Hamilton.
Mrs, Justice Miller has recovered from
her recent indisposition and received o
number of visitors yesterday Secrc.
tary and Mrs. Window are now at
Mr.. Gardiner G.. Hubbards house on
Dupont Circle. Ex Secretary and Mrs.
Whitney are on the ocean en- route TO
Europe. Judge Wylic will purchase
the house 1928 X street, opposite
Colonel Bonaparte's DR.. and Mrs.
George Il. Loring have returned from
New York. Mrs. John Wanamal1cr
who is now in Paris, is said to be
making preparations to return home.
Mr.. and Mrs. Rowland of New York
gave dinner in honor of Sir julien
Pauncefote at their residence on New
Hampshire avenue last Sunday. Among
those present were Secretary and Mrs.
Blaine the Misses Banda and Colonel
John Hay. =
The swell society event for this week
is Forepaugh s circus ut Capitol Park
Wednesday and Thursday.
Mr.. ID. S. Morris celebrated the ami
versary of his birth by givinga dinner
and reception at his residence last even
ing. Among the guests present were
Mr.. Charles A. DAILY of New York, Mr.
II. C. Luilcll of Knoxville, aud Mr.. w
r. Huntz Of Virginia.
The second public rehearsal of the
Georgetown Madrigal Society takes
place this evening at Linthicum Hall,
1920 o street, and promises to be u very
swell and a very interesting entertain
ment. Tickets 80 cents.
The marriage of Miss Rosa, daughter
of George Emmert, to II. ii. Elliott of
Petersburg, Va, was solcmnized at
Trinity Church, corner Fourth and f
streets northwest, last evening. The
marriage ceremony was performed by
the Rev. W. c. II. Leubkert. The
church was handsomely and profusely
decorated with flowers. After the cere'
mony reception was held at the resi-
dence of the brides parents, Lincoln
avenue and North Capitol street, after
which the happy couple took the II 80
New York express for II short wedding
trip, The numerous presents were
both handsome and useful.
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
THE RIGHT SORT OF GIRL.

The lass who goes to college, yet who
knows Just what 10 do
With vegetable marrows and with cocky-
locky, too,
Who can muse ON the digamma or nu ephel-
kustilon,
Yet never be unmindful that the poridge
pot is on;
The girl who's up in puddings and in pies
and politics,
Who can compound a gravy, or confound
church heretics,
Talk right feolingly Of Hegel, or knowingly
OF Kant,
And yet be with her cookery book as deeply
conVersant;
The maiden who can charm you with Bach
or Mendelssohn,
Knows when the moons in abogee, can
quote Anacreon,
And yet can boil potatoes, knows when Il
turnip's done,
Can mould the restful doughnut and the
festive currant bun;
And the mathomatlc maiden who can crti-
else Laplace,
Or whose chemical dexterlty eau analyze
gas,
Who can also SOW button where button
ought to be,
And, II needed, WELD the duster and the
broomstick skillfully;
And she, the best and dearest, whose native
common sense
Escheweth ice cream Establishments, the
carameis expense,
Who quoteth Dio Lewis, goeth early to her,
bed,
And riseth in the morning with clear and
cheerful head.
ZIG, Ipglis In Gooa Housekeeping,
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
IN HIS PRESENCE.

What's the matter with you, Silas p
asked a justice of the peace, before
whom an old negro had appeared.
II wants warrant fur dc rest an
'viction o. Brudder Davcy Smif.
What has he done p
Come a.hittin' me in my presence,
dats whut he's done
Hit you In your presenceY'
"Yas, sab, dat's whut he done.
What do you mean by hitting you
in your presenter"
"IIit me in dc countcnancc, sah dat's $
whut he done-hit me right here in dc
continuance Quitting his hand to his
face. Hit me away up here in my
presence.
why did he strike youy"
II aint axed him dat, and he aint
tole me,
What cause did you give him p
Who give him ?"
"You-what cause did you give
him2"
Give him fur whut?''
For hitting you. Haven you got
any sense?"
wall, sab, doan know; sometimes
| think has an sometimes | think /
hasn't. He hit me all de same.
Didn't he have any cause to hit
your
Doubled up his fist, he did, an gin
me spat right yere in de 'spression O.
de face"
What had you done to him?"
IVY, ] hardly knows de man. He's $
brudder in de church, dat's all I
knows erbout him. Come er hittin'
me up yere whsr l look; l doan like it,
sab; ken tell you dat right now.
Come er spilin' my face fur de funeral
dat's, coming off dis cvenin'"
What ] want to know is, what did
you do to him?'
How could do anything ter him
when bof my eyes done knocked inter
one?"
&" But what did you do before he hit
your"
II kicked de trifing scoundrel, dats
whut done, but ef you aint got no law
in dis house IN go summers else
Good-day, sab. y Opie p. Reed in Ar.
kansas Traveller.
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
RosH ABOUT MUSICIANS.

How soon, mourns correspondent
of the Philadelphia Times, "the glory
of a great singer fades when the voice
is no longer perfect. was reminded
Of this unpleasant fact the other night
when the once great tenor Campanini
came into an Italian restaurant to get
his dinner. How things have changed
with him Less than ten years ago all
New York was at his feet. Now, with
voice and money gone. he is unsought
by the people who used to fawn upon
him" Very mournful, indeed, is the
correspondent,
Why should any attention be paid to
worn-out singers2 Why should there
be more regard bestowed upon him or
her than worn out streetcar driver or
deeayed seamstressY A singer is not
necessarily a person Of brains or cul-
iure or any of the marked intellectual
gifts which command respect. A singer
is person with lucky arrangement of
the vocal chords, and may be either
wise or fool, good or wicked. There
is great deal of bosh talked and writ
len about those who have the musical
gift, and great deal Of undeserved
adulation bestowed. The same com
ment viii in a less degree, perhaps, ap.
ply to the violinist, the pianist. the
claronet player or the futist Posses.
sion Of the musical ear does not imply
intelligence. Blind Tom was not a
statesman No great composer the
Woyld has eyer known would have been
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
SWORD AND EYES.

do not care 70 boast Of what I've done
Still have laid world Of brave men low,
And placed men up as high as men can go,
Untll they go to God, beyond the sun
And have for the sons Of men worlds won;
The souls of many women filled with woe;
Changed maps and plans wise men have
made-and, OH
The countless cores Of hearts through
which I've runl
Thou wondrous thing implacable as Fatel
AS Time relentless, and as Death serenel
Not thine the laurel and the haunting ruel
But ours-that battered down Troy's royal
gate
That held Antonius slave to Egypt's
queen,
When DER the world the Roman eagles
hewi
--LJohn j, Mccann in New York sgp.
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
VISITORS TO THE DEPARTMENTS

Secretaries Blaine, Proctor and Tracy
have issued the following order for the re-
cepiion of visitors:
Reception Of Senators and Representa-
tives in Congress, from 10 to l2 o'clock.
Reception OF all persons not connected
with the Departments, at l2 o'clock, except
Tuesdays and Fridays, which are Cabinet
days; and Thursdaysin the Department of
State, when the members of the Diplomatic
Corps are exclusively received.
Persons will not be admitted to the build
ing after o'clock each day, unless by card,
which will be sent by the captain Of the
watch to the chief clerk or to the head Of
the bureau for which the visit is intended.
This rule viii not apply to Senators, Repre-
sentatives or heads of Executive Depart
neute
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
THE CENTENNIAL.s LESSON,

The Centennial celebration in New
York has had one effect upon the
country which was not contemplated
and which is good one. II has called
The attention of the masses to the snob-
bishness and thick headed seiishness
of that group in large city which
calls itself society and the sole
claim of which to consideration is the
usually accidental possession of money
enough TO enable life without
labor and sometimes, additionally, a
lineage which may be traced back to
grandfather. The management of the
centennial celebration was somehow en-
trusted TO representatives of this lot.
-nf what .hey did the New York Sun
thus comments truthfully:
1.-The stupid committees were guilty of such
negligence. not because they intended TO
show discourtesy to these distinguished gen
tIemen, certain public characters named, but
because they did not know any better. The
representatives of this State and Of this city
themselves would have been treated In the
same way, probably, II they had not in
advance enforced attention 10 their repre-
sentative dignity. The trouble was that GER
tain of the centennial managers regarded the
social prominence of some people OF New
York, who are utterly unknown outside of
that society, as of far more Importance than
the political distinction of Governors of
States. That Is, they had no sense of pro.
portion, and the magnitude of the undertake
ing revealed their own insignifcance and
fnaa,npafppny The AIdprmpn nf Npxy Work.
whom they hold in so much contempt, would
have managed that part of the ceremonies
with far more dignity and discrimination.
In other words, the conceited fools
who represent society in New York
thought their unknown selves of more
importance in the world than men
whose brains had won them promi.
nence. There is such group in every
city in the Union, a brainless,
6ourge0isie lot, who have money,
the result of fathers or grand
fathers very patient shopkeeping,
and who because of that imagine that
they themselves are of some moment in
The world 1t is useless to reason with
them. They cannot be given the intel.
ligence they lack; but they can be re
strained within the bonds of their own
petty mental admiration circle. They
must not be allowed to intrudo them
selves into the management of anything
possible They must not come where
full-grOwn men are. Men mould
opinion who direct the affairs of cities
Of States, and Of the Nation.
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
Strange Case of Aphasia.

Aphasia in most extraordinary form
is at present under treatment by DR..
Charcot. A Frenchman, aged go,
learned English through living seven
years in North America, and then Span
ish through his marriage with a Spanish
woman, He lost the command of these
languages in the inverse order. First
he was unable to speak Spanish, then
English went from him, and lastly his
native tongue, French. The afiliction
was ascribed to the softening of the
third left lobe of the brain, and by q
methodical practice in conversation he
regained his normal ability, recovering
the languages in the order of French,
English and Spanish.
WASHINGTON SAFE DEPOSIT Co., 9l6 Pa
ave-, rents safes as low as S5 per year,
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
ReIigIon and enc SCHOOLS.

(E. ii, Long ST. Louise
II is all nonsense to say that we don't
teach religion in our public schools. We
do; and those parents who don't like 1t can
send their children elsewhere. We incul-
cate in pupils, from their earliest age,
love of God, OF honesty, and of all things
good; and we teach hatred and fear of all
things mean and bad. This is religion
properly so called, but not sectarlanism,
For some years past scientists have looked
upon belief In a personal God as error,
but they are gradually coming nearer the
truth, and they will eventually accept
many of the very things which they have
hitherto rejected as untenabe, | think
that all the grander, eternal truths of re-
llgion win ultimately be vlndicated by the
very people who have heretofore refused to
believe IN them.
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
III. IL conscientious,

w. A. Cuddy, chaplain of the Lcgis.
lative Assembly of Arizona, which has
just adjourned, has sent $22.50 to the
Treasury Department at Washington.
II is part Of the salary paid him as chap
lain. He writes; 81 cannot see that 1t
is right for the rulers to take the peoples
money and pay IL out to some hypocrite
to stand up before the legislative body
and pray for pay" lie also states that
he once acted as clerk of the Legisla
ture and received for his services $640
but while performing this duty he was
also employed in selling whisky. He
thinks he should return the SG40 to the
Government and would do so If he had it,
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
WASHINGTON, MAY !, 1889.
pprsIprNTIAL RECEPTIONS.

The Cabinet meets on Tuesdays and
Fridays at 1890 p. m.
Senators and Representatives in Congress
will be received by the President every day,
except Mondays, from 10 unts l2.
Persons not members Of Congress having
business with the President will be received
from IL until on Wednesdays, Thursdays
and Saturdays.
Those who have no business, but call
merely to pay their respects, will be re-
ceived by the President in the East Room
q, y. nj. ON Mondays, Wednesdays aud
Saturdays.
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

THE NATIONAL ZOO will yet have vol
VERNE As already announced The Critic
has received information that n couple have
been secured In Northern Minnesota,
and the Smithsonian Institute
has received similar information
direct from another source, ~ a result of
THE CRrTIo's call. II may be some time
before the beasts are actually secured, but
visitors to Washington will yet have oppor-
tunity to see alive the only wolverine or
wolverines In captivity In the world
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
STAGE KISSING

Some women on the stage turn
their left ear for an actor to kiss some
their cheeks and others give you kiss
square in the mouth, which is de-
cidedly of the Kiss me good by and go
order
There are many varieties of stage
kiss. The Bernhardt, the Emma Alb
bolt, the paroxysmal the frsped and
the kiss of the rough sollbrette. OF all
the varieties this last is most pleasing
and satisfactory.
"rhe Bernhardt kiss is deftly planted
on the chin in such n way ms to convey
10 the audience that II has been given
on the mouth. The Emma Abbott
is too familiar to need description. II
is nothing more or less than q yearnIng
tender sort of kiss, planted right where
kisses are supposed TO be given.
The pNroXysmal is n sort of snatch
me from the grave kiss. which is given
with eifec, by old timers and only after
good deal of practice. 1t consists in
bringing two heads together with a jerk
and Withdrawing them as quickly as
possible.
The fiuped kiss is the kiss you re-
Ceivc from the young lady whose first
season il is on the stage and who is go
ing to play Juliet next season.
''rhe kiss of the rough soubrette is the
old fashioned boy and girl smack,
which can be heard all over the house
and which sends responsive thrill
through every auditor who has been
there However much il may thrill an
audience II awakens none in The hearts
of the calloused couple who have been
doing the same thing for months.
mo matter how passionate the kiss
may seem to the audience there Is nc
more feeling In It than there is in the
process which enables certain actors
and actresses to shed tears plentifully III
moments notice, - New York Press
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

GENERALLY speaking, the late New York
Centennial Celebration was the grandest
demonstration of its kind ever held in
America, but, individually, the facts are
slowly developing that it was about the
smallest and meanest
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

James Warden, night watchman of
the Ontario Paper Mill, near Water
town, N, y, was held yesterday on a
charge of firing the mill, which was
damaged to the extent of $1,000. lie
denies the charge, and says he was
lrugned bV tramDs
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

THE MAN who inyented the cowcatcher,
a Mr.. Davis, is a native Of Ohio, residing at
Columbus. 1t is wonder the 0hioaus
haven't applied to him lately for device
for getting some of the Indiana men of the
track
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

THE CLERGYMAN who talks politics or
dinarly makes n fool Of himself. He is q
theorzcr solely from moral standpoint,
and does not understand all the bearings of
his subject Bishop Potter of New York is
an eXception to the rule,
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

DoEs THE New York Sm want Hon.
Samuel j. Randall of Pennsylvania to sue
ceed the late w. ii. Barnum of Connecticut
as the chairman Of the Democratic National
COMMITTEES?
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

TIE infinite possibilities Of the Washing
ton Baseball Club in the way of defeats
have never been appreciated before. 1t ia a
great clnb. In progressive euchre game
II would get rich on booby prizes.
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

Can find an elegant assortment Of the most
stylish suits ever shown in this city in our
Boys Department. We have suits from W
up. Eiseman Bros., & i, Manufacturing
ClolblerG and Tallors.
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

THEHE CAN so LONGER be any doubt
as to the fighting propensities OF the old
war horses Of our army and navy. Age
cannot withcr their pluck or history
smother their valorous deeds. 1t is n
fearful combat now raging in the public
press between two old veterans with
fighting records representing the former
land and sea forces of our glorious
country, and which IS carried on with
dynamite jaw power that eXplodes their
long pent up sacks of gall and fills the
atmosphere with ancient odors rs cX.
hilarating as the eyhalation from Chi
ncse stink-pots
oh, the army and navy forever;
Hurrah for the red, white and blue
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

MISSION DOLORES.
"What is your mission here, sir ~ asked
the old man, with frown.
al am on three MISSIONS sir.n replied the
poor young man, who was also humorist.
"Well, what are they ~ inquired the old
man, impatiently.
"Per-mission to marry your daughter, ad-
mission to your family circle and sub
mission to the regulations of your house
hold.n
"Ughri grunted the old man, who was
something of joker himself. ~ have one
little mission to Offer before conclude any
arrangements with you"
"Name IL" cried the poor young man
eagerly. II will be only too glad to per-
form 1t"
"Dis- -mission!n shrieked the old man, with
q loud, discordant laugh, and the poor
young man fell dead at his feet
There was great bishop named Potter,
Who mentioned some things which he
oughter
Perhaps have not said
For he painted 1t red,
huu no ScbtinB hoW hoNeei auu ho1sci'
Anxious Inquirer: No, dear, the old
Roman augur did not bear any resemblance
to our modern gimlet.
The grasshopper is taking hoptimistic
view of Oklahoma.
BUTLER VS.. PORTER.
Oh, Butler, give your chin rest
The flag you well defended,
You made o record of the best,
But now the war is ended.
And Porter you have done your share
And everybody sees it,
Why doyou want TO snort and swearS
Oh, Porter, will you cheese itS
All sheep belong to the " Bah ~ associa-
ton.
'Tis best to swear OF with the old drink
before you swear on with the new.
No girl Is afraid of an armed man,
DOMESTIC INFELICITY.
There's row downstairs in the kitchen,
A sound Of disturbing the peace;
The butler and porter are fighting
VIM somebody call the police?
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

The TIDE of Immigration setting in
toward this country from every country in
Europe this summer should have q check
put on it. The Oklahoma lands are all
taken nm
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

voted, aside from his possession of a
special faculty
This will not suit great many peo'
pie with more idcalzation than com.
mon sense, but it is truth There is no
connection between the musical gift aud
mental or moral ones.
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
AWUSEHEy1's.
HOME FOR INcuRABLEs,
Under the following distinguished patronage:

Mrs. Levy =. Morton, Mrs Emory,
Mrs James g. Blaine, Mrs. Sidney Everett
Mrs. Redfcld Proctor, Mrs John s. Cuttings,
Mrs. u. Il. Tracy, Mrs. W; A. Hammond,
Mrs. y. Blatchford, Mrs. John Hay,
Mrs. y. j. Field, Mrs. Joseph Hohson
Countess de Sponneck, Mrs. A. Hopkins
Baroness Rosen, Mrs. :. s. Howard
Mrs. NJ. Herbert, Mrs Macalester Laugh-
Mrs, j. u. Cameron, ton,
Mrs. W. NJ Evarts, Mrs. Letter,
Mrs. Eugene Hale, Mrs. A. H. Lowcry,
Mrs. George Hearst, Mrs. 4. McCauley
Mrs. John Sherman, Mrs. Allen McLane,
Mrs. Lloyd Bryce, Mrs. u. NJ. Mason,
Mrs. Robert Il. HIT, Mrs. del Monte,
Mrs. II, @. Lodge, Mrs. ID. =. Morgan,
Mrs. Bancroft Davis, Mrs Aulick Parsons,
Mrs. N. l.. Anderson, Mrs. A. j. Palmer,
Mrs. j. G.. Bancroft, Mrs. Lee Phillips.
Mrs. r. Snowdcn Bell Mrs Il Francis Riggs,
Mrs. Van RensselaerMrs. w. Hall stack,
Berry, Mrs. j. II. Soley,
Mrs. Thomas Biddle, Mrs Wallach
Mrs. Nelson Brown, Mrs. H. ii. Warder,
Mrs. Calderon Carlisle, Mrs. Wilmerding,
Mrs. Charles Carroll. Mrs. Walter Wood,
Mrs. j. X. Caifsf, Mrs. John L. Worden,
Mrs. George Clymer, Mrs. Wright
Presented under the stage direction of Mr..
Frederick Bond tof Mr.. Augustin Days Com
pany). with the same cast OF wellknown
amateurs. the same costumes, the same seen
cry and properties, and the same orchestra rs
performed seven times In New York, and In
Brooklyn, Yonkers and Orange.
Verdict of the Press: An unqualified sue.
cess, most extraordinary ballet, best amateur
performance ever. given IN New York"
Tickets, 81 each, emitting the holder TO q
Brentano's. corner 18th street and Pennsyl
vania avenue, and at +. +. Droop's, 925 Penn
sylvania avenue and on May II at the box
Office of the National Rifles Armory.
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
A Smart Robber.

At Cannonville Mormon squire"
thought to achieve glory and reap the
reward by corraling the train robbers
himself, which he and his men did by
arresting them in house; but Smith,
who had two guns, one under his pill
low and another under the tick, only
gave up one, and while his captors eyed
him he asked the Squire for chew
of tobacco, and when that individual
reached back to get it Smith reached
under the tick, drew out his second
revolver, which he leveled at the
"squire's" head, saying: Make your
men stack arms" The order to stack
arms was given and executed. Smith
next made them bring back his com
rades' arms by the same means, then
drove the men out, when he and his
partners shook hands with them, sad
died their horses and bade them II
pleasant good dbye Smith is the one of
the four Canyon Diablo train robbers
who jumped from car window and
escaped when the officers were taking
them all back to New Mexico from Utah
in irons. - Prescott (Ari) Courier
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
CRITICULAR.


''Two TICKETS, Please
"What kind of ring would you like, my
loyeY'
He said, In his tenderest mood.
II Think" she replied, "that circus ring
Would do me power Of good
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07
DIED.

DIED.
BRAWNER,-0n May o, 1880, at $40 p. m,
William Edward Brawner, in his Goth year.
SPALDING.-At Leavenworth, Kan, May
6, 1880, Frederick NJ. Spalding aged 81 yearsj
brother of Mrs. Charles b. Parkham Of this
city.
BECkEhr'1on Monday, May y iSSg, az
of his age.
The Washington critic., 1889-05-07

In the Police Court to-day Elwood O.
Snow was fined $25 for carrying pistol, 50
for disorder and had to pay cab driver
seyentY-fye centa.