St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-01-14
WITTY REPARTEEs.
Historical Examples of Ready Re-
joinders, American, British and
French.

Historical Examples of Ready Re-
joinders, American, British and
French.
Parliamentary elections usually afford
a good field for the exercise of wit.
While a noble lord was conducting his
canvass he met bully, who declared
fiercely that he would ''sooner vote for
the devil than for him. 1--we not the
slightest doubt of 1t, my FRIEND" said
the candidate, quietly, ''but, in the
event of your friend not coming for
ward may / count on your voter Here
is another of the same kind: At an
open political meeting man cried:
"Hurrah for Jackson" to which a by
stander retorted: .Hurrah for a jack
ass" ..All right, my man." exclaimed
the first speaker, you can hurrah for
your fayorte candidate and I'll do the
same for mine"
An enviabe quickness of repartee
was shown by French actor when the
head of a goose was thrown upon the
stage. Advancing to the foOtlights he
said: Gentlemen. if anyone among
you has lost his head l shall be glad to
restore it at the conclusion of the piece"
Deservedly severe also was the reply of
that he enjoyed the pleasures of the
table, remarked: Il see, sir, that phil
osophers can sometimes indulge in good
cheer" "Why not?' asked Descartes.
''Do you really imagine that Providence
intended the good things of this earth
only for the foolish and ignorant?"
Of wit bordering on the malicious
there are many examples, and some of
the repartees are fully deserved, while
others are only calculated to give pain.
Among the latter is the one told at the
expense of an elderly French widow
who had fallen in love with young no.
bleman, whom she was never tired of
praising to her friends as handsome as
one of Dumas three musketeers."
"Yes," said lady who heard her and
who was possibly jealous, ''he is the
musketeer, and you are Twenty Years
After"
Much more merited than the above
probably was the answer given by
FOote to disspated duke who asked
him in what new character he should
go to masquerade: go soberw A
man about town said to young lady:
mo, | am not exactly engaged. but [
have the refusal of two or three girls.'
He undoubtedly deserved the crushing
rejoinder: Il suppose you mean you
have asked them and they have said
No." The tourist, also, who said to
an idle Skyeman: ''Why do you lie
there all day with your hands in your
pockets" must have been taken back
by the cool reply: "CauSe she haSna
been far enough south to learn to put
them in other people'S.'
Ready wit can be said to be natural to
youth, for the answers given by pre-
cOciOuS school boys are not witty, being
usually the outcome either of misun-
Outstanding or of cheek" There are
exceptions, however, to this rule. A
teacher asks his class what was meant
by divers diseases, and was rather sur
prised when one Of the boys answered.
water in the head" A little dot of
girl asked her mother the meaning of
Transatlantic, and was told ''AcroSs the
Atlantic" "Does trans always mean
cross, mammal she then asked.
Yes" replied the mother, ''but don't
transparent means cross parent"
was The conclusion the unconscious lit
tie humOriSt came to as she lapSed into
silence.
Turning from expressed repartee we
find that there can be no less wit in the
manner in which writers subscribe
themselves. For instance, we have it
upon record that, when Glengarry
claimed the chieftanship of the MacdOn
aid clan, the generally acknowledged
chief wrote him as follows:
My DEAR GLENGARRY-As soon as
you can prove yourself my chief shall
be ready to acknowledge you. In the
meantime am yours, MACDONALD.
This letter may have suggested to
Benjamin Franklin the note he wrote
to friend in England when the Ameri-
can colonies declared their lndeDend-
ence, and which closed thus:
You and | were long friends. You are
now my enemy and am yours.
B. FRANKLIN.
During the last half of the eighteenth
century the governments of the day fire.
quently kept themselves in power by
bribing and corrupting members of par
lament, and this was the case during
the debates on the India bill. when the
opposition, led by Fox, found its major
tiles steadily decreasing. This, it was
known, was the work of the secretary
to the treasury, John Robinson, who
used both places and money to carry
out the ministerial policy. One evening
Sheridan, speaking of the decrease,
said: ''ThiS is not to be wondered at,
Mr.. Speaker, when member is en-
pI0yed to corrupt everybody to OBJ
tain votes" "Who is it? Name
him or withdraw" rose fiercely from all
parts of the house. Sheridan saw that