The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-05-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

DItSSOu INno lOoh NllN'
Late habits-Night gowns. y
A head gOrdener-The barber. >
Court plasters-Awards for damages.
Words of wait-"B Bring that bill next
week."
Walters epitaph-He couldn't wait
any longer so he went.
Better to be loan than in bad com.
pany was not written of our umbrellas
Life.
Even the tiger is not without affection.
He is very much attached to his paw and
nav.
Girls who use powder don't 90 off any
quicker than those who dom n't.--Boston
Courier.
The homely girl is seldom mentioned,
and the pretty one is also seldom men.
shun'd.
The railway sandwich is an instance
where they never succeed in making both
ends meat.
Even the most Unconditional man can't
contain himself when he goes to sea-
zerre Hdute ErpreSS.
A Stray Thought.-Dc Few-'I have
an idea" Van Riper-''Can't you find
the owner. ."-Munseys Weekly.
The press feeder sooner or later finds
that the press is Incorporate. 1t often
takes five tingers.-NeD York Meacs.
Tommy-"What did your mother dc
for your cut finger2" Little Johnnie
clicked me for cutting it."-Epoch.
Lobsters and babies are alike in one re.
spect. They both tuTn red when they get
into hot water.-BUrliRgtoa Free Press.
Artist-"What do you say to my new
picture" Critic-'I am not going to say
anything to it unless it says something tc
me-"
"You can't do anything without money,
my boy" "Oh, yes you can" ard
like TO know what2" sect in debt. -
Statesman.
1t is an indication that peppery times
are near when the salts are mustered fol
action on board of u man-of-war,-.
Boston Courier.
A long-winded artillery captain had
his pocket picked in Denver recently,
and his companions speak of him as
"another ritled bore"
The highest office in the gift of the
President is that of Postmaster at Mineral
Point, Col, 1t is 12, 600 feet above the
sea leyel.-No,TiStO,ca Herald.
The pretty young misses at church fairs
are continually laying themselves liable
to arrest ON the charge of robbing the
ales.-R0c6ostey Post Express.
Though maiden's voice be squeaky,
Yet it cannot be disowned
That the dollars of her daddy
Make it very silver toned.
Detroit Free Press.
A Born Grunbler.-'I am the un.
luckiest man living. Here find piece
of money, and it is only nickle. II
any one else had found it, it would have
been quarter"
she-''Isu't Miss Amber a perfect
daisy" Mr.. Jonathan Trump-"Yes,
they are all daisies, but after awhile they
lose their petals in the game of love me,
love me not ''-Lite,
"It is the partings in this world that
give us pain, sadly sings a poet. 1t is
the meetings too. If you don't believe
this, ask the man who has note to
meet Boston Couier.
The old-time rushlight was even dim.
mer than parlor gas. Still, the Young
men of those days were very well satisfied
with it and didn't call early TO avoid the
rush Iara HtUt6 Gasette..
"You say your son is a painter. Mrs.
Browne. Is he landscape painter!"
"No, think not, Ills last Job was on
the Galway flat house lie is more of a
iire-escape painter. '-Hgpers B,sar.
"You appear to be in good health,
said prison visitor to a convict. 1T is
only in appearance, sir, - replied the con
vict, "for the fact is ! am confined to my
room more than half the time. '-Sittiags.
A busy doctor of Scranton, Penn, sent
in certificate of death to the health
officer, and inadvertently placed his name
in the space for "cause of death" This
is what might be called accidental exact
ness CAicagO HerUH
A live mouse fell into pan fun of
milk. IL swan round and round in its
efforts 10 get out, but in vain. How
ever through the activity of its move
ments the milk was at last churucd into
butter, when the mouse was enabled to
Jump out Of the pan and regain its
liberty - Gasotto de QUatrccht.
The number of places of religious
worship in England and Wales, certified,
recorded, and on the register at the close
N 1883 nm. 1h SO nn innr..... II coz