The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-06-24
MArrHR woRrn REAn1Ma.I


Inc wiie OF VII mas oiten as naru
time rs the wife OF q philosopher:
II is an OLD story aoont the wiie OF
Emerson enduring the sight OF her nus
band breaking the teeth OUT o, ner
Dack.comD, thinking, aDsen'mindeuiy'
that ,hey were matches whlca ne was
piescn',y nsnN Dus ~ - III s.,' rv" n,,
,no,}st who really Sels a great many of
bis host and funniest ideos from his
wife
1--WE live from mouth to hand. in
stead of from hand to mouth" said he.
In telling the story. "IIer mouth nj
ters the words of nonsense. aud my
hand writes them down. Sometimes
She rebels at my receiving the checks in
payment for her Jokes. thongh |
nromntly turn most of them over TO
her. and she wouldn't sign her own
name to one of the Jokes for a farm.
well. one time was going on a lit
tie Southern trip, and she took a notion
She wanted TO 20 along. We had lust
been payinr for a new carriage house,
and there wasn't enough ready money
In the family excheuuer to take us both.
"If you go. shall have to stay at
home said I. trying to reason with
her.
"rNo, no, she said. Iill make Jokes
enough to nav all our current expenses.
I'll get up early every morning and
Joke lust as hard as | can for fifteen or
twenty minutes before breakfast 80
youths Companion.
uo, /. snaL. p,,.. IN rroe
..,,.. ,.,.,...,
.,1 ua."ia's' T., ~ Jno.s ma' ,n'o'sssou ss
I 9oon ., IN ,,,, snaNu Mas.i ,p"s. oI i.os.
~ ~ uiis ap1u' :. II, .ne $1,000. ,,...".o
snoLos hut tleir dcolutition is verv
nncb likc hard worl n ia d;ficult to
toll where the finn comes in The great.
oct ,roubie Ia IN swallow Tho FROG ofter
cn,cbi1g him He Is swallowed heals
first II is nroblcmotic whether this is
done by nreference or 10 wedge the vic.
i'm down When caugbt the frog cries
o,,t n;t;frllv This seems to deliSht his
snokesbin The FROG soon finds II is
ueoleee 10 s,rpggle IN releose tho ono loo
swallowed and tries IN keen the other
ont of tbe tran. But tbe snake gives n
curgie and n lean and catches the other
ioo Then moor froogv,s eves d;late
eg nnd pSIp i,osy sisre tes bou ," I
stunefied The snake does not swallow.
N QinnlU nrQwlQ over ltc nv
tractinr tho muscles in its throat When
the frog gets fairly in The snakes belly
the latter seems to have n terrible case
of indigestion. II rolls over and over
and Ioolss nc II II would Give n hundred
dollars to GOT ont NJ the scrane Tbcn
il becomes st,,nefied and doubtless TO
eolyoe never tn make n fool of iteelf
o%o;n i,,t ,ybsp hungry II goes For
tro@s inst nc eogerlv os hefore
Honnd shonidars sonared.
..oa,,;.u sn,,na .,,a hoI,;,a uo;,
ssuop;nS a,o u "nu a;5nIia i . sai.
go - I,,no,s a;dont,I ~ ,,arrarr
chest NAV he entirelv cured Inv n very
s;mnle and eas;lv .nerformed eyeroise of
rois;nT ones self unon the toes leisurejv
In nernepdicular nositinn scveral
t;mes dn;iv To take ihis exercise
nroner,v one ,rus, t,le n nerfectlv I'M.
rioht n9sition with the heels toSether
ond mo toee ot an opgle of Ih derrees
Then dron Tho arms Ifelcsslv hv tbe
sidca onipai;nc and rais;nc ibe 'chest
to its full canoS;tv muscularlv, the chin
well drawn in and tbc crown Of tbe
head faeI;ng as If attached m n str;ng
susnended from Tho ceiling above
SIo,vly r;ec nm On Tho halls of both foot
| to the orootest noes;b,e he;rbt thcrehv
excising ali the muscles of the lers and
| hodv. Come ago;r ;ntn standing n6sition
witIont rwov;no III bodv bacis ward on,
| of the perfect line. Repeat this sane
exercise first on one foot then on the
other. 1t is wonderful what straight
enilg-o power this exercise he's upon
round shoulders and crooked backs,
and one will be surprised to note how
soon the lungs begin to show the effect
of such expansive development-[ Fam
ily Doctor.
Getting Flowers on an Ocean Steamer.
Tho latest ,,lan of nourinq floral of.
ferinos at the feet of ones hest, girl
when sbe ;s o.o;ng IN Enrone is IN inter.
view a Aor;si Who viii for a none.
tarv cons;dera,;on receiyed hacked nm
in air.tiobt boyes a Selection of flowers
| calculated TO keen for several days,
Tbese are. handed IN the hutchn On
board the ship in which the fair inamo.
rata sails and are to be delivered to that
damsel when the pangs of sea sickness
have left her-one box each day. The
fair one looks doHbly fair with the floral
setting and triumphs over her fellow.
passengers, while the butcher appre-
ciates the situation from two points, as
he gets tipped by both sides of the
house.
| Irish wit.
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