Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-09-07
MORE OR LESS AMUSING.

L
6gue dress.
A NoBBY suit-prosecuting boy for
pulling off door knob.
The Holy See-certainly, it is the
wicked who are blind. See?
How TO be happy though married.
Never contradict your wife.
NATIONS move by cycles, says Emer-
son. Boys move BICYCLES. too.
The crying need of this country is a
back gate that nobody can hang q Joke
on.
One thing that seldom gets in the
soup" is the oyster at the church fes-
tival.
JONES, who is engaged to an heiress,
calls her Economy, because she is the
road to wealth.
MANY grave charges are made against
citizens by the secretary of a ceme-
terry association.
WE have often wondered how houses,
which always stand, can show their
seating capacity.
WFE-Did your friend Jack con.
graduate you on the birth of our child !?
Husband He sympathized with
me though.
WHAT'S in name? One of the "old
settlers" of Chicago has disappeared
from the city leaving $24, 900 worth of
unsettled debts.
A DEBATING society is discussing the
question: "Does circus vaulter fall or
tumble in love?" An impression pre-
walls that he does.
The plug tobacco manufacturers
trust, it is stated, will not icrease pri-
ces. It will not increase its quid pro
quo by decreasing the size of plugs.
Of the two evils chews the lesser.
LITTLE BOY (going to church Ms,
may l have a new sixpence to put in
the plate? Ma-Why a new one,
George? Little boy-Because the
clergyman says, LET your light shine
before men"
NOTHING seems to be too mean for
some men. There is an old fellow in
Maine who is imposing on his hens most
shamefully. He has put an electric
light in the hen house and the hens lay
day and night.
Book AGENT should like to show
you our new cheap edition of the En-
cyclopedia Britannica. Vermont farmer
Mister, you needn't show me any
encyclopedias. My boy graduates from
college this week.
BYsTANDER Cat fire)-Who is that
grinning lunatic dancing jig in front
of that burning house? Policeman
He is the man who owns the furniture,
and it is insured for half its value. He
expected to have to move tomorrow.
AT THE PICNIC.
His pants were light, the pie was soft,
They met beneath the trees;
He thought to rest his weary frame,
So Strengthened out at ease.
Not one Of all that picnic crowd
Who saw him rise again
But thought murder had been done
On the spot where he had lain.
LITTLE Tommy-Can I eat another
piece of pie? Mamma (who is some
thing Of purist)-I suppose You can.
Tommy (seeing the point - Well
may I? Msmma-No, dear, you may
not. Tommy-Darn grammar, any
way.
A GARRULoUs fop, who had annoyed
by his frivolous remarks his partner in
the ballroom, among other empty
things, asked whether "she had ever
had her ears pierced?" mo-" was the
reply, "but 1 have often had them
bored!"
ETHEL-Oh, Emily, had such q
dreadful accident the other day. I
broke two of my front teeth. Emily
How painful. How did it happen?
Ethel Cthoughtlessly)-They fell off
the sideboard and 1 accidentally trod
on them.
"PLEAsE, ma'am, will You give me
an old suit of your husbands clothes?
I am one of the Johnstown flood suffer
ers." "Poor man! Of course I will.
Come right in. So you were in that
dreadful food, were you?" "No, Fam,
but my wife sent all my clothes to the
people who were"
Mr.. WooDwARE-That young fellow
you have in your Office is the most con-
ceited puppy 1 ever ran across. Mr..
Queensware-Yes, I know; but you
must remember he is young yet, and
his character is not fully formed. He
has never been tried by fire. Mr..
Woodware-Then you'd better fire HIM
The wife of really well-to-do Hin
doc is prohibited by custom from con-
versation with her husband except in
her own chamber. It is q ridiculous
custom. About the only place man
doesn't want his wife to converse with
him is in her own chamber-provided
he is addicted to coming home at a. m.
exhausted with business cares and 50
forth, especially the latter.
IN CENTRAL AFRICA.