davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
FALSE FIRE ALARM
How an Innocent Old Gentleman Create
Good LlaaI Ec-nita....4

How an Innocent Old Gentleman Created
Good Deal of Excitement.
A Cambridge gentleman was asked to
buy ticket to the hremen's ball and good
naturedly complied, says Boston letter to
the providence Journal The next question
was what TO do with 1t. One of his two
men-servants would probably be glad to use
1t, but he did not wish TO show favoritism.
Then 1t occurred to him that he might buy
another ticket and give both of his servants
a pleasure.
Not knowing just how to proceed he in
quired Of a policeman where the tickets
were to be had
"Why don't you go down to the engine
house," said the officer. THE men ali
know you"
So the old gentleman went to the engine
house but when he entered there was no
one in sight. He had never been in such a
place before, but was perfectly familiar
with the use OF electric signals. On the
SIDE OF the room was button, evidently
connected with bell, and naturally
enough, after waiting a minute or two he
put his thumb upon il.
The effect was electrical in every sense
of the word. From the air overhead-so. at
least, it seemed to the old gentleman in his
bewilderment-men began to rain down.
completing their toilets as the fell. The
horses rushed out of their stalls, and, in a
word, all the machinery of modern en-
gine-house was instantly in motion.
Amid all this turmoil stood the mild-man-
nered and innocent old gentleman, who,
even now, did net suspect that he had
touched the fire alarm. The men rushed
upon him for information as to the where
abouts of the fire. but when he opened his
mouth it was only to say, in the mildest ac-
cents:
II should like to buy another ticket to the
ball, il you please"
The situation was so ludicrous that no
one could be angry, not even the men whose
nap had been broken into, and the old gen.
tleman bought his ticket and departed in
peace.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
EDINBuRe EPITAPHs.
Monumental Inscriptions Which Have Su
yived Two Centuries.

Monumental Inscriptions Which Have Sur
yived Two Centuries.
Mr.. Thomas Kerr sends to the Rockford
Qll.) Gazette this inscription, which he
copied with some difficulty from time
worn monument in the churchyard of Grey
friars, in .Edinburg:
Halt, passenger, take heed what you do see;
This tomb doth show for what some men did
die
Here lies inferred the dust Of those who stood
Gainst perjury, resisting unto blood.
Adhering to the covenants and law
Establishing the same; which was the cause
Their lives were sacrificed unto the lust
OF prelates periured Though their dust
Lies MKT with murderers, and other crew
Whom justice justly did to death pursue;
But as for them. no cause was to be found,
Constant and steadfast jealous, witnessing
To the supremacy of Christ their King;
Which truths were sealed by famous Guthrie's
head,
And all along to Mr.. Renwicks blood.
Then follows these words:
From May "a, 1861, that the most noble Mar
quis Of Argyle was beheaded. to the 18th Feb
ruary 1858, that Mr.. James Renwick suffered,
were one way or other murdered and destroyed
for the same cause, about 1900, of whom were
executed at Edinburg about 100 of noblemen,
gentlemen, ministers, and others, noble mar
tyrs for Jesus Christ. The most of them lie
here.
this, of date 1867:
Reader, John Milne, who maketh the fourth
John,
And by descent from father unto son
Sixth Master Mason to a royal race
OF seven successive Kings, sleeps in this
place.
Majestic man, for person. wit and grace,
The generation can not fill his place.
May present you with another epitaph,
which cost me no little time and work to
make out. 1t is from an ornate monument,
of date 1872, in the grounds of the Cathedral
of Glasgow.
To Doctor Peter Low. the Founder of the
Faculty of Physicians and Surgeons.
Stay, passenger, and view this stone,
For under it lies such one
Who cured many while he lived
Soc gracious he noe man greeved;
Yea, when his physics force oft failed
His pleasant purpose then prevailed,
For, of his God he got the grace
To live in mirth and die in peace
Heaven has his soul; his corpse this stone;
Sigh, passenger, and soc be gone.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09

awake. AS ne was not permitted to sleep
until his wife had first journeyed into the
realms of slumber, he put in the time prac-
ticing upon his drum. In this way Aunt
ANN grew into the habit of falling asleep
to the systematic music of the drum, and
soon 1t became necessity. She could not
sleep without its solacing sound, and thus
the years have gone on, every night the
same. About eight O'Clock Uncle Jacob gets
out his drum and goes to work as if he
were leading charge on a battery, and
then gradually drops into slower and more
soothing music until at the end of an hours
steady beating he feels convinced that his
wife is sound asleep. Then he puts aside
his sleep producer and joins the partner of
his joys and sorrows on her excursion into
Sunderland.
The Skaters have a nice farm and are in
good circumstances, and barring this drum
popularity, are quiet people andgood neigh
bors. Both husband and wife belong to the
Methodist Church
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
PRINCE AND YANKEE.
A Good Story Told by a Young Man from
Connectfcut.

A Good Story Told by Young Man from
Connecticut.
When the Queen is at Windsor visitors
are permitted to visit certain portions Of
Buckingham Palace, but Marlborough
House, the home of the Prince of Wales, is
never open to the public, and both places
are so carefully guarded that one Is not
often paid for lettering about. One young
and venturesome American from Connecti-
cut was standing in front of Buckingham
Palace on the evening Of the recent state
concert. He walked to within a few
yards OF the palace gate, and there met Q
sinewy young fellow with bright eyes,
broad shoulders, and q keen air, who was
swinging along leisurely, cane in hand. His
cutaway coat was thrown open. His shoes
were dust-covered, and he had the general
appearance Of a healthy man who had
walked dozen miles.
"Queen lives herei" said the American,
as the pedestrian slowed up.
"Y es," was the reply.
By this time the pair had reached tire gate.
The relocated foot-guard saluted the tail
young man as he opened the small gate.
"Goin' int" said the American.
eyes," was the reply, and the Yankee
kept pace with him until one Of the side
doors OF the palace was reached.
"Know anybody herel"
ayes"
"Who d. you knowl"
''The Queen"
80, ratsi S'pose next you'll tell me she's
your motherT'
'She is my grandmother, and am Prince
George, of Walesp'
Here half dozen 1unkies appeared, and
after much bowling and spine curving the
tall young man was ushered in and the
Yankee was informed that only holders Of
tickets to the state concert were admitted
to the place that night.
"Come on the next visiting day." said the
Prince, and turning to one of the f1unkies
he said: ''Be sure and give the gentleman
every facility when he calls again. The
Americans are curious in more ways than
one"
1t transpired later that the soldiers at
the gate supposed the American was one
of the Princes companions and so allowed
him TO pass, and the American tells the
story as good joke on himself.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
HIS TROUSERS BAooED.
hut He Had Enough Money to Pay fol
flood

But He HAD Enough Money to Pay for .
Good Breakfast.
1.-THE restaurant-keepers in this city are
the most suspicious people / have ever
stFnck,n said tall, fne-looking man,
dressed seedily, to a San Francisco
Alta reporter. HMy name is P. H
Pheriss and am a native of Indian Ter
ritory: In fact, in plain words, am q half
breed. own vast amount of property in
the I,,.--'tory. ! am not boastiag when
say that am 1.-"rth fully eS5o,Oo0, Ny
wife and family have bee. nvlng In TINS
city for fully thirty years, and have 49,: ia.sde
my home here during that time, making
occasional trips to my property in the In
dian Territory. Lately l determined to
take my family and locate there per
manently. This morning early l dropped
into Market street restaurant had to
catch the 80 boat-and asked for break
fast. The landlady eyed me for minute
or so, and, noticing that my clothes were
rather old and seedy. said to me:
"'Say, stranger, have you enough money
TO pay for your meaIr
Il was rather surprised, you bet at this
reception, but answered: Cert, ma 'am,'
and, opening my purse, drew out 81 900
bill, and added: DO you think that is
enough to pay for breakfast in this high
toned establishments OF course I don't
want pearls ground into my coffee, nor
diamond-studded bills of fare, but if you
think that is sufficient to pay for what
want, all right No sooner did the lady
see the bill than she became the most OBJ
sequious creature you ever saw. Il beg
your pardon, SIR she said. Please sit
down here.' sat down at the table pointed
81 and the landlady ordered clean table
cloth, clean glasses, napkins-every thing
she could think of, in fact-and even went
so far as to put beautiful bouquet of roses
in the center of the table. She would not
let one of the walters take my order. but
coming to me herself, said; What would
you wish to have, sirP She sir'd me then.
you see.
Feeling rather hot at the treatment
had received l said, shortly; Nothing at
all, madam.
'Nothingl she echoed
"sNothing, / replied. I want nothing IN
q house where they ask men whether they
car payfor their meals first. Perhaps you
would like to look at my purse, madam and
opened it and showed her twenty biiis of
81, 900 each. When she saw had so, 600 on
me you never saw such an astonished look
on persons face as appeared on hers She
was almost speechiess- j arose then, and,
bewing to her profoundly, remarked: II
hope, madam, that you will not in the future
Judge man by appearances and ask i'm
pertinent questions of him because his
pants are baggy at the knees. BY so dong
you will not lose valuable patrons, as Won
have this morning l departed, leaving
the lady looking the picture Of chagrin.n
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
His Tax was Crossed Out.

The following story is told by the Oxford
(Me-) Democrat; ''About twenty years ago
Bluefield man, noted for his shrewedness,
was attacked by the smallpox. Conceiving
the idea, as he was convalescing, that it
would be good time TO dispose of his road
tax, he took his staff in one hand, and,
shouldering his hoe, started for the scene
of operations Like the prodigal, he was
seen 'afar or The men began to throw up
their heads and sniff trouble. The sur
veyor sang out: 81 swow, Jase, they are
afraid of ye.' Can't help it, says Jason,
Il have got to work out my tax Say, Jase.
If you II go back III cross out your tax
'All right says Jayson, and the tax was
crossed out ~
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
AUNT sHAEFER.s wHIM.
An Old Lady Who Is Put to Sleep by q
Beating of a Drum.

An Old Lady Who Is Put to Sleep by the
Beating of Drum.
Among the queer people in this part of
the world, says letter from Findlay, O., is
Mrs Ann Shaffer, famiiiarly known as
''Aunt Ann She lives on a farm with
her husband about ten miles from this city,
is over seventy-nine years old, and In full
possession of all her faculties. Her chief
peculiarity-for she has a number-is that
she can not sleep unless her husband beats
drum in front of the house for at least an
hour; and summer and winter, night after
night, the roll of old Jacob Shaffer's drum
can be heard by the neighbors for miles
around as he leads the charge which his
wife IS making into dreamland He has a
snare drum which he made for himself
during the early years Of the war, and. as
he was incapacitated from gong into the
army by reason of physical disabilities, he
did what he could for the country by
acting as the drummer for company Of
'home guards" which drilled in his neigh
borhood.
1t was during this period that his wife
first developed her strange mania. Being
Of highly nervous temperament, and
much wrought up over the war, she could
not sleep at night unless her husband was
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
CHURCHES.

DAPTIST.-Prcacning each sunday at II a.
DIN aud at $50 p. m, at the courthouse. sun
day school at 10 O'clock, n III. Prayer meeting
wednesday evening Of each week. Rev: w.
Cain, Pastor. Residence on Cor. Lincoln Ave.
and Cherry Streets.
ONHRIsTIAN every Sunday at
~ II o'clock, IA. m, and 7:30P. m, by Elder y,
David Nation. Prayer meeting every wed
IesdRy night Sunday school at 10 o'clock u. m.
svOry Sunday.
a FETHODIST EPISCOPAL.-Servicese every
INx Sunday at IL 100 a. IN and 80 p. m: sun
day sciInOl every Sunday at 10 a. IN. Prayer
,neetin. every Wednesday evening AT I:3O.
Strangers Invited. X. SANDERsoN, Pastor.
DREsHYTERIAN.- N.-Services every Sunday at
II a. IN. and Z 80 p. III. Sunday school al
IOa IN. j. D. NORTH, Pastor
CATHOLIC CHURCH - Services on End
sunday OF every month at SheTlOck's hall, nj
sa.00 n m REV. BITTER Pastor.
(IRRMAN BAPTIST BHBTHREN-Hold reg
" Wiar services at Mingona, Barber county
ahc second and fourth Sundays In cach month
At Forrest school house on the second sunday
Cedar Greek SCHOOL house ON the tniru SUNDAY
,ly Elders Shauotsorger, Smith and Ncher.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
LOVE, NOT LUcRE.
How His Young Cashier DispoIIed an Old
Bankers SUSPICION.

How His Young Cashier DispeIIed an Old
Banker'a Suspicion.
The president of the Swamptown bank
was sitting in his library al home the other
evening when, according to Texas Siftings,
servant announced that his cashier was
In the parlor and desired to see him. Tho
president started, turned little pale, and
muttered: at has come at lastl A con.
fession, undoubtedly. Why did not have
that maa watchedl Wonder he didn't
skip 70 Canada at oncen Then he de-
scended to the parlor, where the following
conversation took place:
Cashier advancing hesitatingly and
speaking in an embarrassed weyl-I hopa
you will forgive me, Mr.. Goldbags, but
PRESIDENT Goldbags tsternly) Forgive
you. sir There ia and should be no forgive
ness for an 0ffense like yours. Too much
lenleney is the reason why these crimes arc
augmenting in number,
Grimes, sirl''
"Yes, crimes. call things by their right
names.'
But you will pardon me-"
"Pardon youl No, indeed, ! won't. Be
sides that, only the Governor Of the State
has the pardoning power.''
must confess, sir
''WeIl, go on and confess, then. That is
about all there is left to do, / suppose
lbitteriyi; but / have suspected this for
some time, and / have been fool not to
have investigated you thoroughly
rs it, then, so great an offensei Are not
most young men impel.ed that wayi Did
you not yourself
'Silence, sir! How dare you insinuafe,
miserable man, that ever was guilty of be-
traying the coufidence-,
"Betray conadencel / love her and she
loves me- wish to marry her, and So"
sI.ove her! Marry hers Who are you talk
ing abouti'' s
why, your daughter, of course. You
said you had long suspected it and / thought
you knew; but is no crime, sir, indeed II
is not.r
'SThen you are not a defaulterp'
"Noi'
sand you do not contemplate skipping te
Cadada with the fands Of the bankl''
s.Never thought of such a thing"
"No confession to make, ehl'
ss0nly confession of love, Mr.. GoIdba9s
that's all. ask the hand Of your daughter
..WeIl, she is yours. You take a great
load OF my mind, ~
In taking yonr daughterl''
'No, hang 1t, in removing my suspicious
But / say, son-in-law. don't take in Canads
On your wedding trip. The very name
makes me shudderu
The young man promised and they parties
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
The Nature ar For..

In an interesting letter to Science H. A.
Hazen, Of Washington, gives some inter-
esting and valuable particulars respecting
the properties and nature of fog. He says
that 1t Is admitted that fog is simply cloud
composed Of water, dust or solid minute
spheres of water. from 1900 TO l-1,OO0 Of
an inch IL diameter. Many have supposed
that dust particle must be nucleus for
each sphere, but an examination under the
microscope of evaporated fog has proved
that such is not the case. Briefly stated,
the cause of fog is as follows: 1t is essen
tial that there be no wind. The sky must
be saturated, or nearly So The formation
Of fog is purely mechanical process, unac-
compauied BY heat
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
r-.I.rium of the seIes.

Whenever careful and reliable statistics
have been obtained it is found hat more
male than female children have been born.
In Great Britain. where the returns are
nearer perfection than elsewhere, the pro-
portion for the last ten years was found to
be 1,04l males to 1000 females. 1t is Q
singular fact, however, that the mortality
among the male children is greater, so that
the equilibrium is restored In tsn years,
and census of children of that age show
the sexes to be equal. From that age on
ward, owing to the more perilous occupa-
tions of males, to losses in war, ETC., the
proportion of females begins to increase
until the final census in England shows
1000 women of all ages to $40 men.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
Widows in In6:ss.

There are 100000 widows IN India, and
as the majority of marriages take place
under ten, the greater part of these women
become widows as children. A Hindoo
widow can never marry again, even IL her
husband dies before the ceremony Of mar
riage. II she is betrothed sheis condemned
TO widowhood for the rest of her life. AS a
widow she must give up ali the pleasures
OF this world. She must never wear any
iewelry, never sleep on bed, and for the
rest OF her life she becomes the slave Of her
mother-in-law's family. She eats by her
self and cooks her own food.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
UPBUILDING

gets after a stolen horse he means TO hurt
somebody, and his crowd isn't particular
who it shoots at. And, say, you needn't
make any special effort to report that you
have seen me. SaveyP'
81 won't"
''Then goodbye
He put the horse on dead run, and was
out of sight In two minutes. secreted
myself as directed, and in a few minutes
the posse Numbered by IN cloud Of dust
followed at a leisurely gait, and at the end
of two hours came upon them grouped
around tree. Hanging from a limb was
the ifeless body of my friend of the road,
and they were now waiting for the blown
and exhausted horses to recuperate.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
sambo,s Emphatic protest.

One of the funniest things that has hap
pened in Greenville, Tenn, for some time
was the shooting of negro the other night
by policeman. the cop blazed away at the
man aud shot him in the elbow, the ball
giancing and striking the negro in the
cheek. AS he spit the ball out he said /:
Look heah, white man, you quit dat shoot
in at me; fus' thing yuh knows yuh
gwinter break some spectacle pusson's
yin(ier piass
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
stntisttcs of .Iuscu,ar Power.

Man has the power of initiating almost
every motion but that of flight. To effect
these he has, in maturity and health, sixty
bones in his head, sixty In his thighs and
legs, sixty-two in his arms and hands and
sixty-seVen in his trunk. He has also 434
muscles His heart makes sixty-four pull
sations IN a minute, and therefore 8, $40 in
an hour, g, 160 in day. There are also
three complete circuIations of his blood in
the short space Of an hour.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09

The most valuable book in the world is
said to be Hebrew Bible at the Vatican in
Rome. In 1912 Pope Julius, then IN great
financial straits, refused to sell it to syn
dicate of rich Venetian Jews for its weight
in gold. The Bible weighs more than 325
pounds, and is never carried by less than
three men. The price refused by Pope
julius was therefore about $4,000, and
that, too, when gold was worth at least
thrice what it is now worth.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
AN INTELLIGENT CAT.
1t Goes To Prayer-Meet'ng to Bring Home
Miss Eliza Orange blossom.

1t Goes to Prayer-Meetiug to Bring Home
Miss Eliza Orange blossom.
Over at the West End, says the Boston
Transcript, there lives colored family
which is noted for possessing breed OF
cats which it seems to have monopoly OF
remarkably intelligent animals they are,
II not always sleek and handsome. Not
long ago lady on Beacon Hill who was in
need of servant, and to whom daughter
of this colored household had been recon-
mended, called one evening at the little
house up an alley where the people lived. A
stout, black woman came to the door,
"Does Eliza ang5iossom live herean
the lady asked.
"Yes, she do, ma'am; but she amt in jes'
dis minute" said the stout, colored woman.
But ef you'll step in, I'll sem out arter
her"
She led the way in and seated the lady In
the living-room of the house. There were
several cats present, one of which, a
scrawny but alert-looking Maltese with
green eyes, rubbed up amiably and in
quiringly against the VISITORS dress.
"You come way from dar, you Malty p'
exclaimed the colored woman to the cat.
''You hyah meI New you go ober I, de
chu'ch ana glt Lily, and bring her home.
You go fetch 'Lizyl" she repeated, holding
the door open,
The cat, after siding and wavering on the
threshold moment, as cats always do in
erdernot to appear too obedient, disappeared
through the door.
"Will-will the cat bring your Cfaughter?''
the lady asked in astonishment.
Laws bless We, ma'am, you wait an
see," said the colored woman.
Some minutes went by, and the lady be
gan to think that the mission was quite a
failure, when the door opened and strap
ping colored girl came In with the Maltese
cat at her heels. The girl had hardly got in
when she broke out;
'tMammy, did you send that 'ar Malty to
fetch me2"
'Co'se did"
"Wal, now, I'm tired o. habin' dat cat
follerin' me up wherever CO. Seems like
can't go nowhere but you send her after
mel Dere wus in d e pra'ar meetin' sittin'
quiet in de pew listenin' 10 Matildy John
son relatin' her 'speriences wild grace, am
ali It once in walks dat cat right up de aisle.
an begins mewin' an yowlin' at de new
doorl Oh, dey wus all lookin' an, laup him
and nothin' fer me ter dc, o. co'se, but ter
went right out 1 hope yen 'scuse me,
ma am, but reckon you wouldn't like ter
pc fotched home way from de pra'a meetin'
oy screechln' Maltese cat, neither.n
The visitor could not help inwardly reck.
oning that she wouldn't. But her ad-
miration for the cat was so great that she
made point afterward to get one of her
kittens. The animal, however, was q great
disappointment Not that he seemed to he
lacking particularly in intelligencey-he was
intelligent enough, on the contrary, 70 get
himself lod ped and FAD and tettad I,,,tho,,t
rendering any return whatsoever. He sits
in the window pretty nearly tho sntire day,
watching the panorama on the street with
evident interest, and never appearing TO
dream for moment that he has any social
duties
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
ALong-Lired Lausuit.

At Lexington, KY. a lawsuit that was be-
gun IN 1911 has just been settled 1t related
TO land CLAIM. and the sum in dispute was
originally about s5 coo
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-10-09
what Alaska Cost

When the United States purchased
Alaska OF Russia the amount paid was 17,-
000, 900, or 1920 cents per acre.