davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
The New York Bow.

The New York boy is not precisely a
child of the devil, but for malicious
mischief he is hard to beat. One of
them was overheard initiating strange
boy from the lawless South into the
mysteries of New York life.
winter is the best time to throw
stones at windows" said the New York
boy.
"Why is winter the best timer" ask
ed the unsophisticated youth from the
South.
because, you see, the houses have
double windows, and you can break
two panes with one throw, and you
only get one licking, just the same as
if you had only broken one pane"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
A Lucky Carriage Painter.

Gr1nin, tGa.) news, Marcn D.
r. l.. Malone has just returned from
Greenville, where he has been receiv-
ing the congratulations of his friends on
his great good luck. Heheld one-twen-
tieth of ticket No. 1850, which drew
the third capital prize of $50, 900 in the
drawing of the Louisiana State Lottery
Company on tho 18th of February and
his share after deducting cost of collect
ing was just 50, 495, as we saw on his
deposit book of the City National Bank.
1t is not every young man that picks up
such sum so easily as this, and he is
correspondingly elated. Mr.. Maloneis a
young man of about twenty or twenty
two years, carriage painter by trade,
and has never bought many tickets in
the Louisiana State Lottery, though he
says he proposes to stick to it now as
long as he has dollar to spare. He is
pleasant, easy, good natured fellow,
and has been enjoying himself since his
sudden access of wealth.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
PrecOciOus Children,

No physician doubts that precocious
children, fifty cases for one, are much
worse for the discipline they have un-
dergone. The mind seems to have
been strained, and the foundation for
insanity is laid. When the studies OF
mature years are stuffed into the head
of child, people do not reflect on the
anatomical fact that the brain of an
infant is not the brain OF man; that
the one is confirmed, and can bear ex-
ertions, and the other is growing, and
requires repose; that to force the atten-
ton to abstract facts, to load the men,
DRY with chronological and historical
or scientific detail, in short, 10 expect
a child's brain to bear with impunity
the exertions Of a mans, is as irration-
al as it would be to hazard the same
sort of experiments on its muscles.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
The Law and the LADY.

Patient Man--''Suppose a woman
makes it SO hot for her husband that
he can't live with her, and he leaves
her, what can she do?n
Lawyer--''Sue him for support"
Patient Man-"Suppose she has run
him so heavily into debt that he can't
support her, because his creditors grab
every dollar as quick as he gets it, be-
sides running his business with their
suitspn
Lawyer-'If for any reason whatev.
er he fail to pay her the amount order.
ed, he will be sent to Jail for contempt
of court"
Patient Man-.Suppose she drives
him out OF the house with a fat-iron,
and he's afraid to go back?"
Lawyer-"She can arrest him for
desertion."
Patient MAXWELL, / don't see any.
thing for me 10 do but 60 hang my
self"
Lawyer-"It's against the law to
commit suicide, and if you get caught
attempting it you'll be fined and i'm,
prisoned. Ten dollars, please. Good.
day." New York Weekly.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
SEX IN WAR AND POLITICS.
Dangers Attending the Intarfer'
ence Of Wives In Public Affairs.

Dangers Attending the Intarfer-
ence Of Wives In Public Affairs.
History is full OF the dangers that
attend the interference Of royal wives in
their husbands politics, says writer
in the London Telegraph. Reigning
Queens have been successful enough.
Elizabeth, of England, Maria Theresa,
Catharine OF Russia, and our present
Queen have shown that they can select
wise counselors and guide the desti-
MES of realms; but the Queen consorts
of history, when they have interferred
with the politics of their husbands
cabinetdos, have ne a great deal OF
harm.
Henrietta Maria exercised an unfor-
tunate influence in the court of Charles
/. Marie Antoinette made her husband
additionally unpopular. The last
King of Naples was married to a
high spirited Bavarian princess, who
encouraged his resistance to constitu-
tional demands. In 1870 the Empress
Eugene declared to her intimate
friends: Remember, this is my war;;
and it IS likely enough that the Empe-
ror, ill, weak and hardly able to
mount a horse, would have de-
ferred struggle had not his impetuous
and spirited consort urged him on. 1t
is sometimes said that the influence of
woman on the politics of the world
would put an end to war; but while
they remain nOn-combatants we
greatly doubt it. They are able to re-
alize some of the results of war-the
empty chairs, the desolated homes,
the widowed lives; but they never see
its coarser consequences. They never
witness battlefield after the fight is
won-the wounded, the dying, the an
guish of INTENDED men, the fearful
spectacle of human life trampled in
the mire, and all the grim and dis
gushing incidents of the shambles of
war, from the bloodshed of the
day of victory to the spectacle later
on Of unburied bodies Wondering in
the sun. They read novels and poems
that throw a halo around it all; they
hail as heroes the men who return;
they listen to the music Of the trium-
phal entry; they watch the waving
plumes and the Haunting banners, and
they invest with interest every man in
the victorious array
1t is in this spirit of unreasoning en-
thusiasm that the beautiful women on
the thrones send brave men out to slay
and to be slain-stinging with their
taunts the princes who hesitate, and
rewarding with their smiles the rash
kings who stake their crowns on the
issue of a day. Queen Natalie of
Servia is only the last ola long list of
illustious ladies whoburnt their
fingers playing with the fires ofpolitics
and war.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
INGENIOUS SWINDLERS.
A Band Of Pickpockets Go Through
Set Of Partisan SpiritualiStS.

A Band of Pickpockets Go Through
Set Of Partisan Spiritualists.
Swindling by spiritualism has just
been tried with great success in Paris
by band of British pickpockets, the
members of which gave themselves
out as mediums, says a Paris dispatch
to the London Telegraph. A few nights
since great jubilation was caused
among a select set OF Paris spiritualists
who commune with shadowy forms
every evening in rooms in the Rue St.
Lazare. One of their number begged
to introduce William TORY, a fair
haired Saxon young man, and two
friends, as they had been deputed by
the late lamented Leibnitz, the
philosopher, to visit the votaries of
psychicAl research of the Rue st.
Lazare. Tory and his confederates
were accordingly invited to take seat
at table with the brethren. and
supernatural operations were at once
begun. Suddenly the table quivered.
there was tap of foot on the floor,
vague mystical forms seemed to float
in the air, and Tory was understood
to say that he was the spirit of
the great Malebranche. More wonder
full still, he amazed the assembled Gauls
by writing an eloquent message from
Malebranche on slate in capital
French, although he was a Saxon I'M
able to WELD that language with accu-
racy or case. The French spiritualists
were delighted. Tory and his friends
were lauded to the armament and asked
to repeat their wonderful experiments
and to commune with other deceased
French philosophers and poets the next
evening, which they did. Again the
shadowy figures moved about in mysti-
cal vapour, and the spirit OF Victor
Hugo was heard speaking amid semi
darkness, when some of the spiritualists
felt tugs at their watch-chaius and
hands fumbling about in their pockets.
Immediately the alarm was given, the
lights were turned up, and the spirits
had disappeared, together with the
British mediums, several watches,
purses, and chains belonging to the
company, in addition to various objects
of art which had been on the mantel
piece or tables in the room where the
seances were held. The police are now
on the track OF the mediums, who are
probably dividing their booty and COM
| fortably connecting other schemes for
the appropriation of silly peoples prop
erty.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
In the Wrong Office,

Peddler-''My dear sir, do you know
how much time you lose dipping a pen
into the ink? Ten dips a minute means
600 dips an hour or G.000 dips in 10
hours, and each dip consumes"
Business Man-"Yes, / know;
have figured it all out"
Peddler-"And yet find you writ
ing in the old way"
Business Man-"Yes am using the
the fountain pen you sold mo about a
month ago using it in the old way be-
cause it won't write any other way"
Peddler-'.Beg pardon; I'm in the
wrong office Good-day."-New York
Weekly.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
A TRAVELLING MAN
Creates Great Excitement in the
Empire House.

Empire House.
INDEPENDENCE, IA, Oct. IA, 1888.
Rheumatic Syrup Co., Jackson, Mch.:
GENTs:-Your Mr.. Brooks came here
tonight and registered as agent for
Hibbards Rheumatic Syrup, and as he
did so, it awakened in me an interest
never before realized in guest at my
house. You will not wonder at it
when / tell you the story. For years
| have been greatly afflicted with in
flammatOry rheumatism, the pain and
soreness of the joints at times being
almost unbearable; could move about
only with the use of crutches. In ad-
dition to this my stomach became badly
diseased, and neuralgia set in, which
threatened to end my days. A travel
ing man stopping with me gave quite
history of your Syrup, and the pecul-
iarities of its combination, which in
duced me to try it. l have taken six
bottles, and no act in my life affords
me greater satisfaction than in writing
you that l am a WELL MAN.
1t will be pleasure for me to
answer any communications, for be-
lieve it the best remedy ever formu-
lated. j. A. BowLEY, Proprietor,
Empire House, Independence, Iowa.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
Would Take his Chances.

Hungry Madam, will you
please give me something to eat?
Lady OF the House-Well, here's Il
mince pie. But I'm afraid to have you
eat it. The cook isn't sure that
she didn't use rough on rats by mis-
take, and l was just going TO put it in
to the stove.
ssNo. Lemme have it. I've eaten
mince pie and lived, and I'll take my
chance on rough on rats"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
A Conscientions Girl

They were sitting by the seaside in
the calm twilight hour, and Penelope,
soft Boston girl, felt her being diffus-
ed with the tender emotions OF the
hour and scene and company.
Suddenly she leaned too fan forward
and the splashing waves received her
graceful form.
Clarence was only quick enough to
seize her hair.
"Will it hold dearest? Is it your
own?" he asked.
''Ah, Clarence" and the lusterou.
eyes gazed up at him with rapt ex-
preston, 81 can not tell lie; the bill
has not yet been presented"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
REV YARD.
800

The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there Is at least one dreaded disease
that science has been able to cure In all its
stages, and that Is Catarrh. Halls Catarrh
Cure is the only positive cure now known to
the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a con
stitutional disease, requires constitutional
treatment Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in
ternally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucus surfaces Of the system, thereby destroy
ing the foundation OF the disease, and giving
the patient strength, by building up the con-
stitution and assisting nature In doing Its work.
The proprietors have so much faith In Its
curative powers, that they offer One Hundred
Dollars for any case that II falls TO cure. Send
for list OF testimonials. Address, Y. J. Cheney ~
Co., Toledo, o. 6old'by Druggists, zoe.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
Antiquity Vouched For.

Mrs. Esthete Tin old furniture storey
Il am looking for a genuine antique
bedroom set. The proprietor is out,
is hep
New Boy-Yes, boss won't be back
for an hour. We've got what you want
though.
.Have you? Oh! Oh! I'm delight
ed. But perhaps it is new set made
in imitation of an old"
''No'me; it's genuine, l guess. The
boss told me to put insect powder on it
this morning"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

For the Annual Encampment of the Grand
Army of the Republic, Department of Iowa, to
be held at Burlington, Iowa, April 10th and
18th, the B., C. X. & N. R'y will sell round
trip tickets at the low rate of ONE FARE for
the round trip. Tickets on sale April Sth, 9th,
10th and 18th, good to return until April 18th
For time of trains, rates Of fare and full infor-
nation, call on or address any B., G. r. IL N
R'y agent or J. f. Hannegan, Gen. Ticket 4
Pass. Agent, Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

Another evidence that decency Is the best
policy is the fact that it makes you shudder to
hear an old man swear.
The dog that only has a stub tail to wag may
be as grateful as the dog that has large
bushy one.
How gladly the couple who liked to be alone
before marriage, welcome third party after
Postmaster General Wanamaker's new
green stamps fit like the paper on the wall.
A new town named Brewer has just been
chartered in Maine. Where Is Neal Dows
A good husband is usually a gossip.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
Papa's Little Girl.

She is so dainty and so sweet,
To see her dance is quite treat.
AS swiftly turn her tiny feet
In gay, delicious whirl,
Her eyes are purest, truest blue;
They seem TO look you through and
through;
And now s'pose you wonder who
Is papa's little girl.
That is the name she calls herself,
She's such pretty little elf;
All. well she knew where laid the pelf
And gave her fan twirl;
When Moneybags placed all his store
OF gold, and sixty years or more,
Al her fair shrine, upon the floor,
Gazed papa's little girl.
So simple, shy, and ingenue,
Quite too bewitching, pure, and true,
She signs whene'er she looks at you,
And pats truant cnrl.
But all the same she doesn't care;
Shed rather wed a millionaire,
And ride in gilded coach and pair,
Would papa's little girl.
Pearl Eytinge in Puck.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
Recognizing Fruits,

10 the many correspondents who
send us single specimens of unknown
fruits for naming, observes the Country
Gentleman, we offer a brief statement
of the difficulties in the way. Take
the apple, for example, of which there
are about three thousand named, des-
cribed and published varieties, besides
hundreds of local and unpublished ones
Of more or less merit. The appearance
and quality of each of these thousands
of varieties are modified or altered by
climate, soil, culture, aspect and lati-
tude, affecting the color, size and
flavor, rendering it unsafe to pronounce
on single specimen, except in cases
when old and well-knOwn ones may be
offered.
We are led to these suggestions by
receiving from Canon City, Col, an
apple from an orchard planted with
trees ordered as Ben Davis, but discov-
cred to be some other variety A
careful inspection shows it to resemble
in several peculiar points the Bucking-
ham, a wel-known apple in the south
ern and southwestern states, and it is
probably that variety, although vary
ing in a few characteristics. The
Buckingham, known also in the south
as the equinetely and by about twenty
other names, is better fruit than the
Ben Davis in quality, butless profitable
for market.
AS already remarked, the great
changes wrought in fruits by the var-
Gus external causes above mentioned
render it difficult or impossible to pro-
nounce on the names of any but the
most familiar ones, and one reason of
the confusion of nomenclature has 0een
the hastily giving wrong names to fruits
from single inspection. POmOlogists
who would avoid mistakes prefer test
ing the fruits in bearing on their own
grounds, The late Charles Downing,
who did more at this careful testing of
varieties of the apple than any other
person, sometimes as closely resembled
each other before he could confidently
pronounce on their identity or distinct
ness. But in most cases which came to
our knowledge he had to decline at
tempting to name single specimens sent
to him, especially of local and unde-
scribed fruits.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

The celebration OF good fortune Is too Oft en-
the occasion of a new extravaganza Atchison
Globe.
Young babies would be thought more of II
they were not so fresh-Atchison Globe.
How soon a man stops taking out . new
watch to see II II Is still goingi
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

President Harrison having issued his procla-
nation that on and after April 22nd the beau
tiful country of Oklahoma would be open for
settlement, we wish to call your attention to
the cheapest, quickest and most comfortable
way to get there. The Wabash Route is the
only line running night train to Kansas City
making direct connection in Union Depot for
the land of PROMISE Daily train leaves at
O'Clock P. m. For all information call on or
address, w. &. Martin, T. p. A., Des Moines
l.. M. Martin, Com'l Agent, Des Moines, Iowa.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

G. A. K. Encampment at Burlington, Iowa,
April 9th, 10th and 18th, 1899. One fare for
the round trip, via. Burlington Route, c., B. d
Q. r. r. Tickets will be on sale at all stations
on c., B. 80. lines in Iowa April Sth, 9th and
10th, good for return passage until and in
Guiding April 18th For any additional infor
nation apply to James Hunter, Ticket Agent
or Edw. II. Hunter, General Agent, C., B. &
@. r. r., Des Mones, Iowa.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

To the Editor:-Please inform your readers that |
have positive remedy for Consumption. BY its
timely use thousands of hopeless cases have been
permanently cured shall be glad to send two bot
ties of my remedy FREE to any of your readers who
have consumption il they will send me their Express
and +: y. Address. Respectfully, II. A SLOCUM,
N. c., Isl Pearl ST. n. Y.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

When she was q Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

Most men, otherwise strong in body and
mind, will become unhappy and break down
when afflicted with Rheumatism. If they
would only try Salvation Oil they would find
relief at once. Price 25 cents.
All the keys of Windsor Castle were recently
stolen, but even this does not interfere with the
rapid sale of DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

For strengthening and clearing the voice,
use 'sBroWn's Bronchial Y'r0ches."-.
II have commended them to friends who were
public speakers, and they have proved ex-
tremely selviceable. "-ReO. Henry Ward
RsecLkr
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

Don't imagine ghost story if you see your
neighber digging mysterious holes in the
ground at midnight; he may be only planting
his potatoes by the dark of the moon.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

We have all laughed at the saying that the
only good Indian is a dead Indian, yet as a
matter of fact the joke is as much on the
white man as on the Indian. The only good
white man is dead one.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

partment of agriculture is a politician gone
TO seed.-New Orleans Picayune.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

We understand that certain fashion lead
ers in New York are seriously discussing
the introduction Of hustle for dudes
trousers.-Bu Free Press.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
Rubbing Dry.

Rubbing dry after heavy exercise or
hard work, which causes the animal to
perSpre freely, is a luxury that few
farm horses ever enjoy. AS a rule
owners do not understand the benefits
derived from such practice, and those
who know or admit that it is beneficial
are prone to think that they have not
the time, on can not afford to take the
time, to attend to it. The good results
from such work are many and various.
There is no better way to remove all
dirt from their hair than when it is
loosened up by the moisture. A thor
Ough rubbing when the skin and coat
are damp is worth half dozen of the
kind of groOmings that horses usually
get with the Curry-Comb and brush. II
will also prevent that harshness of the
hair which follows when the sweat is
left to dry upon the animal. In the
matter of preventing colds a good rub
bling at this season of the year, when
horses have been heated up to the
sweating point, will do more than re.
pay for the time and trouble that it re-
quires. 1t also has a good effect upon
the health and general condition of the
horses to give them this attention.
The labor or exercise that causes
horses to perspire must necessarily be
of wearing nature, and the relaxing
effect upon the nervous system of a
thorough rubbing will produce good
results. The legs of horse should not
only be rubbed dry with a rag, but the
hand should be used freely over the
muscles and tendOns, which will pre-,
vent soreness. The farmers horses
are entitled to as good treatment ir
/ every way as those which are used up
on the race-tracks, and the owners OF
running and trotting horses would
about as soon think of letting theil
horses go without feed or water a,
without thorough rubbing down each
time they were warmed up.-Cincin
! natl Enquirer.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04
Oklahoma.

There are different ways of showing wrath
the teakettle sings sweetest when it is hottest
-Atchison Globe.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

Don't Judge mans character from the side
he shows you; The tigrcss is said to be the most
patient and tender of mothers.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-04-04

The harmless. looking banana skin is often
the first step in downward career.-Nor.
ristown Herald.