The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-03-20
Talking Shop.


scene-The Composing Room of an
Agricultural Paper. 49,
"Jim, what arc you doing2"
Jim-"s Setting up" "A Young Man on a
Stock Farm"
Foreman-"W -"When you get through with
that, put "A Few Pigs on the inside,
and An Efficient Lightning Rod at
top of the first column"
Jim "What must I do with the
Spanish Itch and Texas FeverP"
Foreman-"Distribut them and then
try and get in this Sure Cure for Hog
Cholera Let Sam set up "A Good Cow
She'd aud "A Pleasant Summer Drink,
and give Joe The Hollow Horn Il
he wants more let him have Home
Made Cheese and "Gherkin Pickles.
What did you do with that Money in
Early BroilersH" -.
Jim-"It's locked up. So is 'Consti.
pated Colt The devil made q lot o.
pi out of Elegant Corn Bread and
tNicc Tomato Sauce and is now going
for a Good Farm Dinner"
Forcman-"Where is that 'Fine Young
Holstein Bull For Sale2' I cant find it. "
Jim-"Reckon not. It's dead two
weeks ago, and taken out"
Foreman-"Can you get Jones and
Smiths big Jack in this week9"
Jim-';No. Have to hang on the hoos
till the 18th. Had to crowd out "A
Fine Lot of Young Merino Bucks so as
to get in 100 Berkshire Pigs"
Foreman-"What did you do with thai
Mammoth Yellow YamT"
Jim-''That had to give place to "A
Home made Wire Bustle.'"
Foreman (petulantlO - "Shoot the
hustle! We amt runnin' a fashion
paper. ."-Southern Lice Stock Journal.
No More Speculation for Him.
"Yaas, there's money made in stocks,
no doubt" said the old man as he re-
moved his hat and ran his fingers through
his gray locks, "but it's risky biziness
it's suthin' like bettin' on where light
ning's going to strike, with the odds ol
hitting the tree you stand under"
Then you never speculate2"
"Never. I dig along on the old farm,
taking one crop with another. and pull
ing old stumps when I've nothing else to
do; and if don't make any great shakes
haven't anything to worry over. Ihad
a purity solemn warning during the coal
lie excitement and it cured me of specula
tion."
"How was that"
s'Waal, I was q widower then; wife
fell down the well and was drawn out as
stiff as q poker. Ihad q big farm, lots
of stock and was called purity solid. W.
all got excited about lie and oil of u:
dug more or less holes in search of thu
stuff. All of sudden a widder living
about two miles from me found lie in 8
dozen places on her farm. She was o
widder with bad nose, freckles all over
her face, eyes on squint and built ur
like camel. But when she struck lie
that was different thing. 1guess some
six or seven Of US began counting that
widow within sixteen hours of the sigh
of that lie. I know the procession
reached from the gate to the house."
"And you got her"
sNot much didn't, and that's what
I'm thankful for. Somehow or other
couldn't work up to the pint. That
nose kinder stood in the way every time
was ready to put the question. Sh'
acted like she wanted me, bat Deacon
Spooner got the best of all and they
made q hitch"
"And then what"
"Nothing, except she had dosed tina
farm with barrel of lie and thus got
husband for herself and home for he
five children. When the news came ou
I was so cold along the backbone tha
they had to kiver me up with a hos
blanket, and since that time haven
had the nerve to buy eggs at seven cent
dozen and hold 'em for rise"