The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-04-11
MIsCELANEOus.

"A thief at Dubuque stole barrel
Of eggs, but because the warrant did |
not specify that they were hens eggs
instead of goose, or bird or alligator
eggs, he was turned loose and allowed
to go.
The number of Jamaica Ginger
drunkards is said to be increasing at
an alarming rate. A confirmed drunk
ard takes four ounces of the fiery fluid
at one time, and the effects are even
worse than those of whisky.
Don't get up an excitement in the
hen house. If you want chickens for
dinner tomorrow take them quietly
off the roost tonight. Frightening
hen out of her wits is as bad as dog
ging COW.
-''You did not pay very close at
attention to the sermon, l fear, this
morning" 30, yes, did, mamma"
swell, what did the minister say?"
'He said the picnic would start at ten
o'clock Thursday morning, and, 0 ma,
can goP"
"A taxidermist, of Belfast, Me-, in
preparing to mount a great horned
owl, found the OWLS body full of por-
cupine quilts. The flesh was literally
packed full of them, as well as the roof
of the mouth. The owl evidently had
dined on hedgehog.
"A unique milk cure is established
in Normandy. The COWS, being made
to drink ferruginous water, give medi-
Gated milk which nourishes and
strengthens the system at the same
time. Milk in France has become the
panacea of all diseases, perpetuatiug
youth and regenerating age.
"A fellow in the South, where trains
stop at frequent intervals for the en-
gineer to sleep, has fitted up box car
as a theater, hitched it to freight
train, and whenever the train stops for
an hour or two to unload box he and
his little troupe of transformers give
the rustics dramatic performance at
ten cents head.
-Customer-"Say, this rife you sold
me yesterday is no good" Dealer
''What is the matter with ftp" Custo-
mer - at shoots too accurately"
Dealer-''Why, isn't that just what
you wantP" Customer-'I guess not.
I'm the proprietor of shooting gal
lery, and give prizes to those who
score the highest number of points. -
Yankee Blade.
Mrs. Winks-''Hold the baby a
moment, there's a dear. want to put
back these pictures got out for Mrs.
Minks to look at. Such a tiresome
creature as she is. She was here
for nearly half an hour this afternoon,
and did nothing but talk about the
baby" Mr.. Winks-'Bless his little
heart. So the ladies come and sit and
admire and talk about the little cherub,
do theyP Of course they do; they can't
help loving Mrs Winks-''Gra-
cious me! 1t wasn't my baby she
talked about, it was her own. "-Phila
delphia Record.
"A man of the humber classes en-
tered public library in London and
asked for book, saying in reply to a
question that he wanted "'Omer. +"
The next inquiry was whether he
would have Greek text or a transla-
ton, to which he gave the following
reply. II don't know nothing about a
Greek 'un; what l wants is to read
what Mr.. Gladstone roads, After
half an hours reading with his fin
gers stuck into his ears to insure
against interruption) he said he
thought it was ''rum sort of stuff" and
went out, He has not returned to fin
ish it.
"A little boy in one of the Brooklyn
public schools, encouraged by his
mothers assistance, had worked for a
month to get the honor medal, which
was to be awarded on Friday last. The
lad was an inveterate breaker of rules
in the class room, and he made great
effort to get perfect marks. At the
last moment, however, he received one
bad mark, and his rival took the prize.
Reporting the fact to his mother, he
said he did not care particularly for the
old medal, but it was the clear waste
of goodness that he regretted. His
mother has abandoned further ambi-
ton for him for the present.
-@
SHEEP FOR SURETY.
| G1F VUo,r e n,