Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1889-08-14
J0KER.S
JOKES on The sun are too a.. fetch

~ sssC DuIA NAc VUO l8%- 1evCN6O
Cool treatment-A plate Of ic.
cream.
A Man in : peck Of trouble il In !
measure to be pitied.
DRlNKINa rye wont help . man t.
attain : rye pole age.
The old reliable permanent head
quarters: the shoulders.
A PATCH Is often the sign OF poverty.
but not when IL il . strawberry patch
THE man who registers at q hotel 81
night can be said to be on the retired
list"
WHEN the banks OF the canal break
the water immediately PUSHES out tc
find . receiver.
ToM-Do you like mince pie? Dick
Yes, when 1t isn't according to cook.
ing school receipts.
WHAT straits are most p%erilous p
asked the teacher, and a little bow
cried ont Whisky straights!"
SMITH-Jones, what did you get for
pumping the water out of Green's eel
lar? Jones-The rheumatism.
WHEN q domestic hen goes into the
brush to make her nest it is because
she has grown weary of civilized ways.
She feels like laying off.
Mrs. GADD-Does your boy take
after you or his father? Mrs. Gabb-
He takes after his father. You v
can believe a word he says.
HE-I wonder which of those two
young ladies' is his sister? She-Why.
the brunette, of course. Didn't you
notice that she had to put on her wrap
herself?
SARAH ANN-Oh, this awful railroad
junction Here we are for Ave hours
with absolutely nothing to read. Mary
Jane fsotto yoce)-Say! why couldn't
We read your hustle?
yours is an agricultural country,
isn't it? asked a man on the limit of
his new acquaintance from Dakota.
EYES, pardner." what do you raise
mostly?" Jack pots"
ToM-Have you seer Dick recently?
H~arry-Yes, l saw him yesterday going
after q doctor. He was in q hurry, I
suppose "No; he was getting q doc
tor for his mother-in-law."
WIrE-This is the third time YOU
have come home drunk this week.
Hubby-D-don't be 20 p-pessimistic,
my dear. You should think of the four
nights / came home sober.
ToM-Have Won proposed to Miss
Bell, yet? Dick-No; there's a rumor
in circulation to the effect that her
father has lost I'LL his money, and I'm
just waiting to learn the truth.
YEARS ago Lydia Thompson publicly
horswhipped Mr.. Story, editor of the
Chicago Times. When she was in that
breezy city a spell ago she passed the
Times building one day and softly
mnrmured, "The old, old Story"
ma" said Bobby, lis it wrong for lit
tie boys to tie tin kettles to dogs tail ?"
Decidedly wrong, Bobby; I hope you
never do such a thing as that" mo,
ind eed, ma" replied Bobby emphati-
cally; "all l do is to hold the dog.
SHE--O. George. I think ma is too
mean for anything. She said last night
if ] even married she would give the
piano. to my little sister. Heidi she?
By the way, dear, I'm ready to marry
you at any time now. The last obstacle
has been removed.
A FEW days ago a fond mother
noticed that her little six-year-old son
visited q particular corner in the gar
den quite often, and watched his move
ments. Going to where he was
STOPPING one day, she saw him examin-
ing q feather he had pulled out of the
ground, to see if it had sprouted. His
mother inquired his object in planting
the quill, when the youngster re-
piled: "Hum! l guess / am going to
raise chickens as we'll as anybody"