The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-09-06
The Village Big Man Goes to Washington
and Returns Considerably yYiIted.

| W. FlitN9 10 nl6t1i.
The Village Big Man Goes to Washington
and Returns Considerably wiIted.
! The village of R-w was dissatisfied witt
its postmaster. Several petitions were for
warded to Washington, and as they were moi
Immediately acted on, it was determined thai
the big man Of the town should proceed tc
Washington and lay the case before the post
master general
The Big Man of the town lived on the in
terest of his money. He was called Judge :
Most of his letters came addressed to the
Hon" So and So. He ran church and q
school, always headed every subscription,
bossed the Fourth of July; dictated the pol
icy Of the village trustees, and was the only
man who subscribed to a New York daily
paper and talked stock H.
The Big Man had never been nominated for
governor, but that was because he didn't
want office. 1t was pretty generally under
stood that he could have cabinet position
any time he desired, and that he somehow
Influenced all the political appointments in
six counties.
Gentlemen" said the Big Man, as he
swelled up, Il will go down to Washington
easy"
If he had told us that he was going down
to Washington to secure an act of congress
to remove the Bunker Hill monument to
Chicago we should have had faith in him. He
departed The band was at the depot to
honor his departure, and the few citizens he
deigned to shake hands with at once gained
five pounds in avoirdupois The train had
scarcely moved off before our Big Man be-
gan to decrease in size. There was a general
III the car; also millionaire; also senator.
No one knew our Big Man or paid any atten-
tion to him. When he reached Washington
his hat was whole size too large for him.
When he was put in a back room on the
fourth floor his chest measure decreased two
inches.
The name of our Big Man on the hotel regis
ter produced no connection. There was no
rush of cards to his room. If the administra-
ton knew of his arrival it didn't call In the
lobby he heard men addressed as Senator
Judge" General" Colonel and so on
until he felt that his coat was too big for him.
Next morning, when he started out to call on
the postmaster general, no band PLAYED.
There was no send off. No one in, Washing
ton knew whether he was our Big Man or our
cobbler, and no one seemed to care. Every
rod he Travelled seemed to produce a shrink
age He had always supposed that he was a
bigger man than the Capitol building. One
glance satisfied him that he had made mis-
take.
Our Big Man intended to talk very plainly
to the postmaster general. He would look
very severe when he inquired why this thing
was thus.
He inquired his vat to headquarters, but |
lad no sooner reached them than-he found |
himself weak in the knees. His lat WAS now |
'wo whole sizes too large, and his vest would |
nave pinned over two inches. He half hoped |
hat the P. NJ. would be out, and he was graft |
led. The P. NJ. was not out, but the Hessian
Who took his card and looked him I'D and
Town in a suspicious way soon returned TO
ay:
Very busy, sir. Leave your papers and
all again. Call next week or the week
ftern
But I have no papers, and am Mr..
'mith, of Smithville," protested our Big
Ian.
Eyes, but the postmaster general is very
usy-very busy. Have to call again, sir.
We never heard of you, sir-never heard of
gu nor your town. Better make your writ
IN application for the postofice and mail
:" -. -.
Our Big Man returned home. He was
abiding in his clothes. He had paper in the
ming of his hat to keep it from falling over
is ears. His heels and toes had an inch play
! his shoes His lordly stomach had wilted
way, and his autocratic bearing had gone
ence. Our Big Man had met the enemy and
3 was theirs. He had travelled beyond the q:
'nfines of our village, and his greatness had
cited away like September frost s
ork Sun. "
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