Mower County transcript., 1889-01-30
EUTHANASIA VILLA.
The Luxurious Retreat Provided
for Intended Suicides.

The Luxurious Retreat Provided
for Intended Suicides.
Upon one OF the principal squares
OF the city stood the great philan-
thropic establishment founded by Mr..
Richard Utterex. It's majestic front
was no less than two hundred feet
long; there were six rows of balcony
windows, and over the principal en-
trance a sign in gilt letters announced
that this splendid building was "Eu-
thanasia Villa"
It was to this institution that those
who were disgusted with existence
came to seek euthanasia; of course it
was intended exclusively for the dis
gusted ones with dollars, for those who
were not blessed with this world g
goods could carry out their sinister de-
signs without the assistance offered to
the guests of Euthanasia Villa. But for
the unhappy possessors of millions,
Mr.. Richard Utterex was really a bene-
factor.
Each day at least three disheartened
morta2s came and knocked at his door;
this is only a figurative way of speak
ing. for the door remained continually
open. This is how tho business was
conducted:
One day young man entered the
office. Two clerks at once arose to
meet him. The stranger advanced
three steps. Naturally he was very
pale and tottering. An easy chair was
pushed toward him; he dropped into
it, and ca:essed, from time to time, the
small carved death s-heads that orna-
mented the end of the arms. He threw
hung in black cloth.
The clerks made the young man a
low bow in an automatic fashion; then,
without giving him time to reply to
their polite salutation or to explain the
object of his visit, one of them asked
him. in an obsequious voice.:
''What manner OF death have you
chosen?"
Prepared as he must have been for
some such question, the desperate
young man could not ropress an invol-
untary shudder. The clerks appeared
to be much surprised, and, as the guest
did not become calm at once, they went
up to him with the same automatic
step, and, without saying word :,
looked at him. This proceeding had
the desired effect. The young man
felt that he was In a well-conducted
establishment, and this reassured him.
One of the clerks said: do you
wish to see the prospectus2''
Il beg your pardon" said the young
man, but he quickly continued: 1.-The
prospectus? Oh, yes, certainly, the
prospootus?"
Then, with the discreet manner OF a
waiter in a fashionable restaurant who
seeks to learn the guests preference
Pomard or Sauterne-the clerk handed
the young man a richlybound album,
wherein were described the different
modes of death furnished by the house.
The enumeration of these various
methods plunged the reader into a
shuddering astonishment. At first he
ran over them with his finger rather
than with his eye, stopping here and
there, amused by the marginal illus
t,ations; then he began again, reading
seriously this time, without, however,
coming to a decision. Certainly hang
ing had it's charms, but what poetry
there was about asphyxia with flow
ers! The soul departs with the breath
of the tuberose! And the poisons,
rooms Nos. to 1O-a vast choice!
And the Indian calrare-the prick of a
pin in the heel or elsewhere, and then
Nirvana. But here are the lost
diseases! All, the lost diseases!
To contract by artificial means
leprosy or the black death, to offer to
the practitioners of the present day,
whom the disappearance of these .'af-
fections'' renders inconsolable, the oc-
cas;on of studying them "from the
life," to carry away in dying the con-
ISOLATION that you leave in your remains
whole field of delicate experiences!
That is, without doubt, incomparably
more noble than death by laughter,
the simple idea of which gives you a
nausen, and dishonors the ingenious
enumeration of Mr.. Richard Utterex.
But there are ;ll-natured persons who
would be offended at this prospect,
however glorious it may be, of having
these written on their bodies; they
prefer sort of aristocracy of silence.