Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-01-09
HISTORY AND GRAMMAR.
Mark Twain Outdone by Smart Chill
dren who Know all About it.
From Cassell's Magazine.

From Cassells Magazine.
In the domain of history we have several
answers more amusing than instructive. "The
Crusaders" according to one rising genius,
were the men who conquered America and
Peru, and were so called because they were
the first to cross the Atlantic" By second
historian we are told that Edward the con-
lessor was the first English monarch to
embrace the popish religion, for which he was
deposed by William the conquerer, and forced
to flee to France" Perhaps it was the same
youth who was of opinion that Robert the
Bruce was the son of Sir William Wallace Of
Scotland, and when he was in a hut he saw a
spider swing seven times and he said, 4 will
yet be king So he gathered his men and
defeated the English by driving them into the
Fourth, after which he died fighting with the
black prince against the Moors, who flung his
heart among his enemies and cried, Go thou
faithful heart and will follow you"
But the gem of the historical answers is that
given in reply to the question. ''Who was
Queen Elizabeth2' "Queen Elizabeth was the
last of the roses and, fearing that Mary Queen
OF Scots would marry her husband, Sir Walter
Raleigh, she beheaded her. and in remorse sent
Raleigh to discover the United States. When
he returned without doing so, he was executed
by EliZabeth's son, James 1. after gaining time
to write his long and varied biography in the
lower. Other interesting items tell us that
julius Cesar was a Frenchman who rose to be
king; that "Ireland's pattern saint is called St.
Patrick because he killed all the snakes with a
stick and that the French revolution was
caused by the defeat of Napoleon at Waterloo!
Turning now to grammar, we find that there
is a practical side even to that prosy science
This was displayed by the boy who. when asked
the future Of she drinks" replied, "He is
drunk" Somewhat similar but still more to
the point, is the story of the little girl who was
of opinion that the future of the verb 'to love-
was ''to marry" The fitness of things was not
SO apparent as in these instances to the scholar
who figures in the following dialogue. At a
viva-voce examination a little fellow was asked,
''What is a monarchy" to which he replied
"a country governed by king" ''Who
would reign if there was no king?" was the
next interrogation. 'The queen" Sand if
after minutes thought the boy gave the
astounding answer, '.The knave!"
Another natural history subject was ''the
dog" and it was announced that extra marks
would be given to those who introduced into
their essays a couplet on that animal. This,
as may be supposed, proved an insurmountable
obstacle to most; but one of the boys got over
the difficulty in this manner: 1.-THE dog is a
noble animal, being of several kinds, such as
Newfoundland. collie, pup, mastiff, and mon
grel. 1t is called the friend of man. because
on the Alps they carry bottles round their
necks to save the lives of travellers who are
like the poetry which says
Old Mother Hubbard. she went to her cupboard,
10 give her poor dog bone
but she hadn't any. The dog has usually a
hairy coat, though some haven't like hounds
and such. Hairy ones are best for watching 4"