The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1889-08-08
LEARN THE ART OF LEAVING.
Visitors Who Cannot Realize That Thee
Are Making BOres Of Themselves.

Are Making Bores of Themselves.
When Mime. de Stael visited Wei
mar with the avowed intention of
intellectually capturing the literary
lions of the day-Goethe and Schiller
she made one fatal mistake; she
stayed too long. Goethe wrote to
Schiller: Mime de Stael is a bright,
entertaining person. but she ought to
know when it is time to 60" Besides
not knowing when to go, it is evident
from incidents recorded of her journey
that she did not know how to go. She
fingered after she had started. It is
related of her that at one place. after
she had ordered her carriage and an
nounced her intention of departing in
the morning, she started converse
ton which she vigorously kept up
until it was so near noon that her host
and hostess could but press her to stay
for luncheon. This over, the conver-
sation was again resumed, nor allowed
to flag until it was so near evening
that the strained courtesy of her en-
tertainers could but suggest that the
horses be taken from the carriage,
which had waited at the gate all day,
and thatshe stay another night. which
she did.
It is Disraeli who, in "Lothair,"
puts in the mouth of Theodore the
sentiment that no one should ever say
good-by, but in departing fade away
like a summer cloud. It is probable
that the great statesman and novelist
wrote this after parting interview
with some one who had bored him
with tedious farewells who under
stood not the art of leaving. For in
the narrowest and choicest circle of
friends and acquaintance there are
usually some persons the pleasure of
whose visits or calls, whether of bust
ness or of pleasure, is marred by the
fact that they do not seem to know
how to go. For when a friend or
caller departs we are either glad. sorry
or Indifferent If we are glad we de-
sire to be brief; if we are sorry the
quicker the painful scene is ended the
better; if we are Indifferent we
grudge the draft on our time, if we are
busy, as the most of us are. with the
pressing affairs of life.
The art of leaving is less understood
by women than by men. The habits
of business, the recognized fact that to
a business man time is money, the
throng and press and exactingness of
business life all tend to make men who
lars of the fine art of leaving quickly
and neatly. A business mans social
call is usually model of good man
ners in this respect. When he has
said what he has to say and listened to
what there is to hear he takes his hat,
says good evening"" and is out of
your presence without giving any time
or chance for the too often tedious and
embarrassing commonplaces of mu-
tual invitations and promises to call
again which seem to be kind of so
cial formula with women. In striking
contrast with this neat and skillfu1
method of cutting short the parting
words of an interview or call is the too
common social practice of visitors who,
commencing to leave, seem tempor-
arily to abandon their purposes and
then linger as though it were kind
of compliment to the visiting party to
appear loath to part company. Who
does not dread the visitor who starts,
then thinks of something else to say !;
rises, and then thinks of another SUBJ
ject OF conversation; nearly reaches
the door, and, most probably holding
it open, is aroused to degree of men,
tai brilliancy that threatens his health
and that of his host or hostess by long
oeta1nlng OF DOtn In cold draft while
he discourses2 What tax on the pa
tience and politeness of the listener,
who vainly strives by asserting in
interview and break the restraining
bond of polite attention.
The equally annoying counterpart
of the tedious caller who does not un-
derstand the art of leaving, is found
in the person who seems anxious to
detain the caller attempting to leave
and who makes protests or introduces
new subjects of conversation at the
critical moment. The art of leaving
on the part of the visitor needs to be
supplemented by the art of letting go
on the part of the host "Welcom6
the coming, speed the parting guest
is classic maxim of good society
Exchange.