Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1889-10-24

the Loylathan) ana they were pre-
clsoly alike. They ran as follows;
WHEREAS, II has pleased Almighty Gol, tn,
ruler Of the universe to remove from ou
midst our esteem cd brother John James SO
and-So and
WHEREAs, " Is 1T that We, his am eled sur
yvors OF the Leuathan club, should publicll
express our sore gr rcf at this great bsreave
mont; therefore, be II
Res1l0sa That IN the death OF John Jamei
So.and.So, IN Club has lost q worthy mem
Der, society an ornament his family an afec
tomato father and husband The State pilla
and defender and the world ut large one 4
could lily spare.
Resolu.d That while we mourn with sorrow
that seems to have no alienation under th,
great anlicton that has iallcn upon us, we car
not but bow in humility to this inscrutablc de
cree.
Resolr.d That we tender our heartfelt sym
rathy to the family and relatives Of the de
ceased.
Resoirsa That the clubhouse be draped il
mourning for thirty days In memory OF tht
deceased.
As ho finished, Mr. Upandowuiohr
brought his fist down upon the table
till tho glasses iingled
"What stuff this ISL he said, indig-
nantly. II knew So-and-So, lie was
a dishonest and untruthtul man--a
tyrant in his family, a trader in pol
itics, a disagroeable man In society,
and a curse to humanity generally.
And they mourn him, do they? And
| suppose they want mo to mourn
Ranter, who is TO be embalmed to-
night Hal Hal will aslonish these
people. will write one set Of honest
resolutions. | knew Ranter, who has
just gone hence. and justice shall be
done him, sure. | will be as mild as
| can be, and do him justice, but Will
be honest with his memory
SO Mr. Upandownjohn called for
fresh pens and ink and paper and
wrote; and having made fair copies Of
what he wrote, took them himself to
the Office OF the Scrcamer. the Spouter
and the Soarer and went homo and
slept as only be can sleep whe &c
joices over a duty done and well done.
Tho next morning the members Of
the Leviathan were astonished al
reading in the journals the following:
WHEREAS by long course Of most outra-
goous dissipation, Of late ghts. OF late suppers
OF the grossest food, OF perpetual beverages OF
tho most villainons kind-these that give inc
stomach no show whatever--hy unchecked and
indulgence In the worst possible
sensuality in brief by long-contnuod sor;es OF
the vilest outrages upon the physical, mental
and moral man, our late member, Arthur
Simpson Ranter, has beon taken 10 that
bourne from ch we earnestly hope he may
never return, and
WHEREAS When member Of the Levathan
Club expires, II IA customary TO commemorate
hlm, TO give him q send.on, as II we're; there
fore be it
Resoirfd, That when We remember the vii
lanous habit he had OF rcvoking at whist, and
also his adreit way OF sliding out Of paying the
score whenever he lost tho rubber our grcl
at his departure is severely mitigaied, II not
entirely subdaed.
Rfs0ired, That the promptness OF our late as
socaie in accepting invitations to slake bis
thirst and his intolerable tardiness in recpro.
eating, did more honor 10 his head than 10 his
heart
R,solred, That his habtual uniruihmlness,
his utter disregard for his word ard his blus.
tering and oyerbearing manner, were the best
points 10 him, as they served as a warning to
the younger members OF the club. For this his
dem Sc Is 10 be lamented
Rssoiesd, That his habit Of getting boozy be-
fore eleven M, and staylng In that condition
as long as there was gOodnaiured man in the
club, gives US, his survivors good reason 10
pause and ask no more that conundrum "Why
was death introduced into the worldr
Resolrsd, That when we remember the sue.
cess with which our late brother borrowed
money. and his utter fotgeifulnoss OF such
transactions, our hearts are soitened toward
Adam and Eve Through whose sin death was
made part OF the economy OF naturel, and We
publicly thank that lady and gentleman for
their investigating turn OF mind, and hurl back
the charge shat they did not do
the best thing possible far resteritY
Rssolrsd. That in the death Of our late
brother, who was vile as an actor as he was
bad as man, the lone-sunering theatergo-
ing public have a boon. the sweetness Of
VIII ch can not be over-s,ated, and upon which
we extend them hearty Congratulations
R,soiced, That we congratulate Mrs. Ranter
upon the fact that her private fortune was set.
tied upon herself. and so skillfully tied up
that her late husband, our deceased brother.
could not get cent OF IL And we do this re.
memberng how often VIC have mouned II was
so, for the reason that could he have touched
II, he would have drunk mself into an IN.
timely tomb several years sooner than he 4
Death With u.s. burics an auimosiiy and does
away with all acrimony.
Rs0lre1, That the club house be illum'-
mated the night OF the funeral, and be drapcd IN
white for thirty days in honor Of ihs happy
event
Rss0ired. That this truthful tribute to the
memory Of our deeeaied brother he published
In the screamer the Spouier and the soaror
To say there was an uproar in the
club the next morning, as these roso-
lutions were read. would be to convey
a very faint idea Of the case. In The
midst Of il, when il was at It's height
entered Upandownjehn, clcanly
shaved, and as serene as June
morning.
"Did you write and publish this
mess-this ghastly concoc-
tion OF inicrnalism'" demanded a
score Of indignant men.
"Did ! write those resolutions. you
mean? ] did. l was appointed q
TO embalm the memory Of
the late Rainier In the daily papers
did IT, Do you find any thing objec-
tionable in themP"
why. you assert that he was a
spouger exclaimed one.
"Unhappily it is the truth. I have
myself paid for gallons Of liquor for
him"
you said he was a bad actor"
"Tho worst I ever suffered under y
What will his wife think OF what
you said Of him."
"She will recognize the portrait,
and with US thank Heaven for her re-
lease.
You give il as the sense Of the
club that be was
Every thing that was bad, mean
and disreputable Very coed. Il is
true. every word Of H. He owes me
thiriy-seven dollars. sixiy-three cenis
and a third. which he has owed (it
was borrowed) since July 9. 1871. az
twenty-seven minutes past ten o'olocf
in the evening. And every man Of
you is aho bis creditor II there is a
mean thing that he has not done It
has escaped my notice.