The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1889-02-21
THE LIME KILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner Explains Himself q
Sir Isaac waIpoIe Talks on Faith.


When the meeting had been called to order
Brother Gardner arose and said:
"One evenin' las June, while gwine home
from a session of dis club. | had de misfor
tune to fall into an open sewer. ! war TOKEN
out fur dead, an fur months war cripple
Our club did not feel Ike gwine on Hidout
me, an hence no meetins hey bin held far de
las six months Doorin de interval Paradise
hall was rented to a conInishun marchant
de library an relics keerfully stored away,
an We open fur bizness agin tonight 4S,inut
de loss of Il cent
''A few OF our members heV wandered
away, but only few Whalebone Howker
went ober to Canada an adopted a
hoss widout AKIN his owner, an he has bin
laid away in de archives fur three years.
Kurnel K yam Johnsing has got place In
county jail in Ohio fur year. Sacrifice
Smith went to Chicago an walked in his
sleep-walked Off wild an ober coat-an' de
chief of police took an interest in him an got
him a warm place fur some time to come
Three or four others am not heah to meet wild
US on dis occashun, an it ar perhaps jist as
well dat dey hainAt.
''As many different reports hev gone
abroad as to de natur' of my injoories, an as
some Of de newspapers hev received false
impreshun, / will heah state a few Jacks. l
fell about fo'teen feet. didn't say muffin
when fell | lay dar' in a catamose state
fur three hours befor' l was diskivered an
rescued When de doctors took hold OF me
| it was found that the cerbeilum had bin badly
| fractured in two places; de clavicle bone had
bin onhinged de diaphragm was broken; dc
| bronchial ran1ifcations was unconscious; de
| pulmonous arteries had bin driven cl'ar into
| dc left venter'cle. In addishun, as dey
| found on a second examination, dar' war two
kinks in de lumbar vertebrR; de carotid
| artery had become all mixed up wild de tri-
cupsid valve an de epigastric region had col
ided wild de right auricle. Nobody thought
| could pull frew, but yere am, almos' as
| good as befo', an ready fur de nex' calamity.
"De doctors hev cautioned me to be a leetle
| keerful about exertin' de hbialis anticus too
much fur few weeks to come, an to gin de
| dexor carpiradialis as much rest possible,
but de crisis has passed an dar is no fear OF a
| relapse. / wish to return my thanks to all de
| members Of de club in particular. an to my
outside friends in gineral, and to say dat we
| shall hold regular meetin's Of dis club ebery
| two weeks from now on until furder notice
Sir Isaac Walpole will now address you wild
/ a brief address"
my fren's," began Sir Isaac, as he care
| fully arose, ''de subiick OF my address dis
eavenin' Is Lack of Faith ! see it in front
| an behind, an to de right an left Of me,
almost cherry hour in de day. Fifty Vars
| ago, if went to a Guild man an axed de
1
| the least hesitashun- He didn't draw down
his left eye an whisper 'Chestnuts,' an softly
| inquaI' If he had hay seed In his ear. In my
| iuvenous days, when an ole man cum to me
| an put his hand on my head on toled me
dat spreein' around nights was de side doah
to state prison, l didn't grin in his face nor
| whistle in his ear II ! wanted a cup of
sugar or DRAWN Of tea, every naybur was
| willin' to lend, nebber doubtin' dat ! would
l FaTlaU af ia airlieSt moment Twenty wears
ago l could walk into a butcher shop an
order soup bone an tell him to charge it,
an dat bone would go up to my cabin in all
faith an confidence in my integrity. Let
me go into a butcher shop tomorrow an gin
dat order, an de butcher would pint to a
dozen signs of NO Trust an look upon me
as crazy.
"Dar was a time when could git patch
put on my butte an walk of wild de remark
dat would pay fur it next week. If l should
try dat on to-morrer ] would git de collar
from policeman befo' had gone hundred
rods. In de good ole days could walk up an
down all de alleys In Detroit widout TN on
kind remark bein' remarked to ma Only
yesterday, as I was gwine up an alley to look
fur my dog. white man looked ober his bach
fence an said: You is jist one day too late
Guild man-dem chickens is gone" De world
| seems to hev reached dat stageewhen nobody
believes an eberybody doubts If git on 6
street kyar de conductor wants his cash II
advance. II / go on de railroad q pussor
come around befo' we hev gone five miles an
demands de fare. If go to de postoffice fun
: a stamp de clerk reaches out fur my two cent
, afore he tears de stamp OF. II ] want K
borry sugar or tea de nayburs ar jfst out. L
l go to rent house de owner wants months
| rent III advance.
DE good ole days, when man had faith Il
man, an when to doubt mans word mean
dat he was rascal, hev departed probably
{ never to return. 1t grieves and pains me.
want 10 hev faith, an doan' want to doub
but Gs state of affairs affects me mo- or less
| find myself hesitatin' when Waydown Be
bee wants de loan of my Sunday coat to at
, tend a pray'r meetin'. l find myself fshin
fur excuses when Pickles Smith wants de LOAF
of half dollar fur week cotch mysel
wonderin' if Shindig Watkins takes me fur
3 haystack when he sends his boy ober to Dor
a row my Persian rug to lay in front of hi
) stove de night he has party. It grieves me
/ It fills me wild sadness"
The meeting then adjourned. Ere
/ Press