Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-07
HOW HE PLAYED LADY's MAID.
He Did First Kate But Didn'e Want
 she Place Permanently.

she Place Permanently. From the Boston Gazettel
 Mr. Goodman, in the sudden absence of his wifes maid attempts to help her on with her new winter dress.
 He.-You just see if I can't help you just as we'll as that blamed English maid. Con- found it, after I've helped you once you'll be wanting me to do 50 all the time, see if you don't.
 She-Well put it on over my head. Look out for my hair; don't see what possessed me to do it up before put this thing on though I couldn't have raised my arms I sup pose, afterward. Look out, there's hook caught in my hairpin. For heavens sake, Charles, get it one way or the other, I'm now, that top steel is too high and the cush- ion interferes with it. Suppose you could get the cushion out? Rip it, pull it, any thing. Don't you see it is o'clock, Get it outi Can't you do ita Pull it, tell youl All right! Now see if it look too flat Well hook it. then. Yes, you can too; it's only patent hook. Snap it!
 "There, now, hold it so that can get my arms into the sleeves-not way up there do you take me for contortionist? Oh! never can get those sleeves on grab hold of the armhole with both hands, Charles and
 give it good pull up onto my shoulder tell me if begins to burst-does it? The veins in my hand will burst, believe-open that
 window, will you-there now-give me the
 ends of that belt, will you-don't tell me, Charles that you've twisted the waist and I've got to take it off againa Why, how could you have been so stupidl Where were your eyesa No, you can't pull it off just as you do glove-there now do exert yourself to get it right this time. Open that window little wider will you. What is the matter; i; caught something? We'll never mind. "Unhook your watch and let the chain | hang on the dress-It won't be likely to fall | off and you musn't tear that lace-well, I'll l get you another one if you lose lt-do get ! those sleeves on again-there, now pass me l the belt. Oh that fool of dressmaker she's got this SO tight when told her I wanted
 to be comfortable. Open the door will you, so there will be a draught. Now see if you ! can hook this waist up. No; begin at the
 bottom. Why don't you see the hooks and l eyes alternate on each side so as to make It
 hold, Can't you get it together. Why pull | I can staEd it. Turn your finger nails out We'll for heavens sake Charley don't notice | it now. I've got something I'll put on il
 after we get home. Can you hook that last hook up on my left shoulderi and then that one down on my right hipa
 .Now, get good firm hold of the bottom
 of my skirt and give it pull down all
 around Now do get out of the way and lei
 me look in the mirrow. Heavensl looh like perfect dump. Tip the mirror up ( little more will you? No not that way-ths
 other way-and go get me your hand glass
 won't you' Turn the gas up a little higher
 and do keep out of my way; can't see {
 square inch of my dress. Well it looks [ littl. better than I thaught 1t did at first
 Just give that drapery behind smooth vii you2 and pull that rushing up in my neck
 There now put both your hands around my
 waist and give it a good hard smooth down
 There guess that will do now. look yer,
 we'll. But for goodness sake don't ever asi
 me to let you help me again.