The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-04-01
BRIGHT BITS.

BAGLEY lat the telephone) There's no use in
talking, Bailey. l can't hear the first word you
Bailey lat the other end)-why don't you fold
both your ears around the instrument Time
AN UNFAILING SIGx.-1iiss Westend-And can
you always judge OF a mans character BY the
way he laughs?
Social Philosopher-Oh no; not by the way
he laughs but by what be laughs at.-NeLc
York Weekly.
Iowa now?''
YES, and doing well. See this cane? 1t was
presented to me by the local prohibition club. 3"
Its beauty"
You bet it is, and it holds pint Nebraska
State 0urndL.
HIS PREsENT.-A Sweet Glrl-Mother, George
told me solemnly that that pretty hair pin
holder he gave me cost s.; yet to-day | saw ex-
actly the same kind on sale for 10 cents.
Mother-4ou know my dear, George is very
religious. Most likely he bought tlat at a
church fair.-Nelc York Weekly.
BARBER-I got no moneys vor such voolish-
ness.
wife-vy nod? Mrs Schayer she have Won.
Mr., Schaver's shop is 10 bigger than yours,
amt it,
'Nlr. schaver he's got a fine head of hair ind
gan zel lots of hair tonic al 81 a bottle | gan I
sell any; I'm bald. '-PtiiadetDhia Record.
No NEED TO SEND OUr.-The Rev. Mr. Behind
thetimeS-Emily, will you please send out to get
a sermon against Sunday newspa pors and
must have one to examine.
Vile Ito daughters no stairs Girls, if you
have finished looking through the bargain an
nouncenent in that paper, bring it down. Your
father wants it.-Lhic tgO Tribune.
A MINISTER 5 LITTLE DAUGHTER who had been
to church for the first time and heard her
father preach, was questioned by him on reach
ing home as to how She liked his sermon. There
was an embarrassed silence. Then the little
maid, tired out with the long strain Of being
good, and yet anxious not TO offend in any
wise. made answer with a lOng-drawn breath Of
patient resignation: You preached awful
long, papa, but l beared it. wallpapers Young
People.
FIRST TRAMP-Hello Jerry, come in and have
cocktail.
Second Tramp-Whatl Cocktail? You must
be livin' on easy street nov.
First Tramp-1es, rather gneSs l am. I'm
gettin 81 day Tor settin' in a show winder to
| advertise a new toilet soap.
Second TrImp-RatS!
First Tramp-Ye5 am. on the dead square.
| represent the before usin "-4erre Hdute
Express.
A FAIR DIVISION OF LABoR-Emoloyer Ito
new clerk)-This package OF money you've
just counted is two S. bills short.
New Clerk How do you know? You said
you hadn't counted the money
II said that to test your honesty. | hardly
know what to do about it,"
Il can help you out; you taka me into part
nership, and Ii do the stealing for the firm aud
you can do the lying, and Wen make things
hum "-TerdS SiftingS.
ST. PAUL's CHANGE OF Observation-Disclosures
see it stated that high official in Minnesota
wants the ice palace festi'a abolished because
it Scafes away immigrants.
St. Paul Man-That's so; gives folks a notion
our climate is cold, you know. Next winter
we're going 10 make change. We're going to
| erect beautiful Chinese pagoda with a lovely
lake around it. and water lilies and swans.
Pretty idea, ehg
But those things will freeze"
mo they won't. Well heat EN- with under
ground steam pipes. "-Pbilddelphir Record.