The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-04-26

"Parhashus Does yo' take CreauertarteT
TO be yo' welded wife."
"Ef de laws 'greable, yes sah!' was the
answer.
"Am yer 'vised, Parhashus, dat she plays de
concertina whilst her mudder plays de wash
bodp
Il hearn so, parson, but yo' kyan't blame de
gal 70 habbn' mo- lub TO moosic dan for
sOapsuds."
"Co'se rot Parhashus, but am yer war oh
lie fac dat she IN memer OBJ de Crow HOller
Debatiu' s'ciety an de Krischin Wimmin'4
Go's-yer-please Paternity"
as hean ToOmers er de same parsOn, but
rs a chowder memer oh de Keyhose Refo'm
cub myself an dem little ippysOdes haiu't
scar'n' me a bit"
"But locker yer, Perhashus, is yer 'quainted
wild de geolergy oh de family 'nough ter know
lat all 'er auntsisterS on Ter mudder's side
manage ter 'sco'te TO or fife husban's froo dis
vale or tears befo dey fotch up wild der own
allyby?7
81 is, parson. / got dem fac's i'm Cremer-
bgrters StifTyCat er h'elt"
"An' nebherSOebber darfo' widout any fear
d. commissions CT de party er de secon' part
80 takes dis 'ooman TO yer spous', hopin' dat
she'll tun out better dan de sledyule, but
prayin', all de same, dat eff she tu'ns out wus
lat de- Lawd III Glib yo' strenk ter bar dc
salamuS"
al does parson, per bonum publicus, as de
constitution Oh de United States say
The parson, turning aside, was heard to
murmur: MY, myl Eff I was a mason an
Iuired san ter buir church I'd go ter Par
hashus,' then stopping a moment to adjust
his spectacles for a new trip down their
natural toboggan slide addressed himself to
the eXpeCtant bride:
"Creamertarter, said he, "does yo' take
Parhashus ter he yo' welded HUSBAND"
81 does, parSOn,' she replied.
"Ter hab an ter hop de same not'standin
de fac dat eff he TUX dat wig OFF yo'd git de
notion yo' wuz marryin' a aigplanti"
"Notstandin' dat, parson," was the re-
sponse
"An' eff yo' imowed de trufe dat Parhashus
had been dat egcentrik in his life dat bout de
only place he IN lierble ter sing Home, Sweet
Home in, am de county Jail, would dat turn
you fom de paR er matermonyG"
Reckon not, parson."
"But see yer, Creamertarter'-w almost
sensational emphasis-"am yo' formed er
Parhashus habin a wife an TO chillen's down
In Pensycoly2 Eth. Tell me DAFT"
81 nebber hearn cat, parson," was the re-
ply, with just shadow of perturbation, "but
eff his family 'zertz i'm dat away hain't it mo-
de duty o er Krischin ter soove de POI
suffrers"
"Mebbe yo'm right, Creamertarter," said
the master of ceremonies, with a somewhat
dubious shake Of the head; "mebbe yo'm
right, but femme you dis: Does yo' know
dat Parhashus haint very screwblous bout
whose henroos' he picks his poultry foml'
Il does, parson," came with no little
promptness, "but l alters mowed dat eff
ebber TUX husban' I'd keep m eye open fo'
IA good perwider."
With just the least show of disgust the
parson continued: AN notStandin' de TO-
said, bein' SCUM in min an knowing de GER
tainties er life, yo' takes Parhashus ter be yO'
LO'ful poduer fo' better N wuss, share an
share like, till def parts one or de udder OBJ
yer"
"Dem's my sentiments, parson," was the
answer.
"Den," said the parson, rs he interloclled
their hands and drew back TO avoid the shock
of the kiss he saw them preparing for, ''den,7
said he, Il pernounces yer man an wife, an
/ mus say, arter all de chances Is CUB yer,
dat yo'm two er de bigges' fools dat de plow
er my 'sperience has ebber TUNED out de fur
rers er human natW'. Wade Whipple, in
It'd Bits.