, 1889-05-31
THE STAFF OF LIFE.
GIVING UP THE GOOD OLD TIME
PRACTICE OF LEANING ON IT.

tham-DcScription of vienna Bread.
1t has become questionable in New York
society to cat bread. Long ago the -Four
Hundred gave up eating pie, for it Is 30 vul-
gar TO eat pie, don't you know. Now they
are In the midst of another great social revo-
luton, and are about to give up eating bread
/ spent a few weeks In New York, and
after | had been there a few days there came
over me an indcfnable desire for something
To eat, not for something to cat in general,
for, luckily, l had been eating regularly
every day, but for something to eat In par
ticular. / felt an inward craving. ! WINS
like the opium smoker without his pipe, or
tho drunkard without his tiPple. 1t finally
came TO mo that whnt | wanted was bread
] had been brought up to cat broad In tho
various restaurants where l Ind been eating
had been supplied with bread, but It WINS
Vienna bread. Consequently, / Ind had no
broad New York Vienna bread is not
bread, but bread crust 1t Is baked In loaves
in the form Of a baseball bat, about sx feet
long and three inches In diameter.
The outer ~surfnce, of course, Is crust, md
owing to the intense heat TO which It Is sub
jected in the oven and to the coating of var
nish which k spread over II this crust Is OF
the consistency Of fire clay. The interior Of
the loaf Is a hole. A loaf of Vienna bread
looks moro like u section of drain tito than
anything else. Clinging to the inner surfnco
of tho crust is n layer Of bread about like the
nap on n plush lap robe. There Isn't enough
real genuine bread In n loaf Of Vienna bread
to furnish n meal for n hen. / win wngcr q
small sum Of money that / can eat a wagon
load Of Vienna bread at ono sitting II / can
bar the crust
WILL NOT RE FASHIONABLE
But 1t has become questionable to cat
brad I'm New York-that is, among the
-Four Hundred" md their followers. A
confidence man, a friend Of mine, induced
me to dino with him ono evening ut n fash
ionhblo private 'hotel" ON Thirty-third
street. At dinner each individual WINS served
with a portion OF Vicnnn bread about the
size, shape and consistency of a GINS Ink
stand. | asked for more bread, but didn't
get 1t. / began n protest which might havo
amounted to- kick, when the mnn who sat
beside me and who is a gentleman of fashion
and well bred, and who had I'm his converse
ton with mo shown great familiarity with
tho dry goods merchants of Chicago, In
formed me that It WINS not the proper thing
TO cat brcad-thnt potatoes Ind recently
taken the place of bread at dinner.
! WINS Inclined TO dispute the possibility of
bread being displaced by any other article of
food, but when l considered TINT everybody
in New York Is forced TO eat Viennn bread /
did not wonder greatly that they are being
wenned from II. / am sorry that / must quit
eating bread II l would be fashionable. But
somehow, although / nm rapidly becoming
lumtum In many respects, / am too much Of
a plebeian TO eradicate from my system that
Unborn desire to eat bread. l must eat bread
IL everybody in the world points the finger of
scorn ut me.
Ever since l was n little boy down In
Princeville, when | would come into tho
kitchen on n summer afternoon, tired from
fighting bumblobces' nests, and my mother
would give mo n piece OF bread about the
size of n saddle flnp, spread thick with golden
butter and thicker still with raspberry Jam
ever since then l havo had an uncontrol-
liable hnnkering for bread, which / fear no
amount of social polish viii over rub out of
me Even when l get TO tho socinl point Of
wearing n pigeon tailed coat and a shirt col
lar cut clear to my wish bone, l will no doubt
retain that low born passion for bread which
rnnkles in all plcbeinn blood.
1t has long been impossible In Now York
society To get n piece Of pic, Pie, ono Of tho
corner stones Of the American constitution,
hns been abolished by good English form.
But, speaking Of eating pic, there Is still
ono man Of fashion, one swell In New York
society who eats Pie and who viii haro pho
when he thinks no needs 1t. His nnmo Is
hummer He Is known In some circles as
"Uncle Billy Plummcr. He Is In business
on Worth street. He Is n handsome gentle
man, ~fuultless in his dress and manner, a well
known clubman, a first nighter' ut the the
aires, and when the winds nstern he steers
his own yacht around the bay. He would
rather forego washing his faco when no gets
out Of bed in the morning than to neglect to
dress" for dinner. He is n pink OF pcrfeo-
ton in everything that appertains to good
form, but he will cat pie.
He with several other swell gentlemen
dined Mt Delmouicos one evening. When
Mr.. Plummer had finished his roast, to the
nstonishment OF everybody at the table no
called for pie. The waiter shrugged his
shoulders, spread his hands, and elevated his
brows in mingled establishment and dismay,
while all the assembled gentlemen, after the
manner of tho famed hllnloo bird, evolved
themselves within Themselves to withdraw
from the communicating presence of a man
who would cat pic
Again Mr.. Plummer demanded pie and In
quired Of the waiter II there WINS any pic in
tho house. The waiter found words to tell
him there was no pie.
Then Mr.. Plummer said: "Call mo n mes
senger boy The boy came. Mr.. Plummer
gave him fifty cents and said: $50 to tho
nearest second clnss restaurant and buy me a
whole huckloberry pie. III see whether l
can have pie or whether | can't have pie.n
The boy vanished, but returned again.
bringing with him a hu~ckleberry pic In a tin
dish. And there right out before everybody,
in the presence of all the gentlemen, in tho
glare OF the electric lights, Mr.. Plummcr did
eat half of that huckleberry pie, and said it
was good.
And still the god OF England did not smite
him dead.
And what gives me q great deal of satisfac-
ton to relate and which, goes to prove that
there still remains in Now York a shark of
old American spirit, is that when Mr.. Plum
mer had eaten half of that huckleberry pie
one of the other swell gentlemen drew up his
chair to the table and said: II say, Plum
mer, TINT pie looks awfully good, don't you
know. II you don't mind III eat tho rest of
it myseh.n-Paul Hull in Chicago Times.
The Largest COrnl Reef
The largest coral reef in the world Is the