New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-11-17
WITH THE PAN-AMERICANS
"REMINISCENCES OF THEIR JOURNEY.

"REMINISCENCES OF THEIR JOURNEY.
THE DEADLY COMMITTEE MANA DIsAP-
POINTED ExeovERxoR--THE PITFALLS OF
s1ANG-A WITTY DIPLOMAT - THE
FIGARO OF THE EXPEDITION.
Washington, Nov 16-The members OF inc ih'er
national American Conference are once more az 'ho
capita having survived the diners, the receptions
and the festivities OF forty days tour How they
did IL Is more than can say. Human ehu"a n'o
its limits and in the case of the sou'h anu O'"'r'
Amercan deleqates Il seems TO have been taxcd 10 inc
utmost extent They have seen variety Oh th'"sS.
The number of factories mills ana WORKSHOPS i"'P''
is without number almost They have Vsi'co sohooi'
| ~ avery description, from the kindergarten To the
university They have admired the learning hi" uho
Iuxurv Of Harvard and Yale; they have had an oppor
funy TO test the modest but more sturdy Vigor anu
enthusiasm Of Ann Arbor: and they have WIN oi'
Guilty torn themselves away from the spectacle oi a
hundred young ladies' engaged In cails'hehc cAcicScS
a, the High school in st. Louis, though that picture
| I'M ,orsyer haunt the memory OF of them
standing in front of Niagara and exploring tho SUD-
terranean wonders OF the Mammoth cave must haVc
inspired even those who had been accustomed 10 INV
awful grandeur of the Cordillcras and the Ahues WIN
a sense Of the vastness Of the scale on when ha'ur
has worked It's wonders in this country oh 'he
placld waters OF Lake Erie and OF Lake Michigan thcy
| caught n glimpse Of a stupendous commerce. am III
cities Ike Chicago and Kansas CITY they r'ooei'nu
two wonders OF the nineteenth century lho pun"
Institutions visitcd-the capitols, the prSons INV
almshouscs the penitentiares, the insane as! ""s
must have left a deep impression upon 'her ii,"'
Tho homo life too OF the people cannot but have heipc
IN attract their attention, with its air Oh goher' pro-
nerity contentcdness and refinement bu' all 'no''
Impressions and many MORE when iacA Vi ep'oo
forh,ds me 70 mention, pale into lnsignncahcc "nc
,,fpl'u nd III
tboIr recollection the spectre of the committee Man
| IIo,y am ever TO do justice TO that great char
oo,or, 7 confess despair whom contemplate the
| variety OF the species and the many olierht VIZ
| cumstances under which 1 have met him. An amer
non than mno Is required to picture this Interesting
freah of our civilization. Sometimes think have
caught the distinctive features Of HIS mental maAc-hp
when Iol there appears new specimen to upset
all previously conceived notions our foreign friends
! Imagine they have arrived at rational theory ~
Qardng origin, the functions and the use OF the
| Committee Man. But they are mistaken. lhcis Is
a superficial Wow only. 1t sees the shadows merely
in the picture but 1t neither recognizes the lights
nor does II enter into the spirit of tho thing The only
excpse they can offer for the gloomy view taken by
most Of them on tho subject OF the committee MAN
is that they have been grcvous sufferers ior inc as
six weeks You should not look upon them as con
| frmed misanthropes. however. on that account
II were asked what Is the chief Characteristic Of
! the Committee Man. should unhcsitaungy answer
| His lovcr-lihe devotion to his victim " KNOWS TO
bounds and the timetable of the railroad alone can
end H. Onr Spanish friends have dubbed him. rather
automatically "Brldegroom" From the moment the
| Committee Man, accompanied by his friends enters
the car hundred miles this sidc OF his home you
become the object Of his assiduois care As ne passes
through the car you think You can escape LIN by
fegning sleep But you can't deceive so experienced
| To nlanSe mo
somnocnt condition. lie pictures the pleasures await
ing Won IN glowing cclOis, and incidentally throws In
| a few figures designed to show the resources OF Po-
| dunk and the certainty Of It's future greatness HIS
tender and sympathetic interest In your welfare com
pels him to taste your wines and smoke your cigars
lest harm should Jeall you by partadng Of inferior
brands Of either. Arrived at his home, there is al
celebrating competition among individuals of tac
Same genus as who shall escort this, that or the
other delegate in the ride about town. II IS then
that Judge Upright, Major Dash, Admiral Tarpaulin
Colonel Blood and the Member of the Deestr.ck-aD
OF them belonging to the genus Committee Man
scowl at each other and mutter naughty things which
make the lookcrson smile But. firmly seated in the
carriage, the Committee Man at once begins opera
lions upon his victim:
This" says he Is City Hall-cost 100000 |
half Of it stOlen-oycr there a new bank-prsidcnt
came here barcfooed two years ago-millionaie now
daughter going to marry an English Lor-onc of
our largest packing estabiishmcns-daughtc a%iuuy
uHy-kL more hogs here than In any other city in
tho world-nour mills-ncst flour in the United States
yes the daughter squints-gOng to have cable cars
here this wiuter-will cost SlOOOO,OOO-thec Is Rob
inson's dry goods sOre-larg I'm the Wesths brother
married MY wie's niecc-Our new art gallely-don't
know anything about pictures myself, but am told
We turn out than any other city I'm the State
that girl, Oh yes she's all rght-gcts all her drsses
made in New York-Howde, Jones. can't you now.
busy showing distinguished visitors about town-sOap
factory-largcst west of the Alcgheniesyou bet We
are clcan-wash every day-pOperty right here worth
$3.50 a front fOotsM months ago could have bought
| 1t for ten cents"
And all through the drive. There IS no escape
| from il. You have to submit At dinner there may
be brief respite, but the chances that the awful
presence Will be at your side The afternoon passes
like the forenoon. You seek relief IN the din of a
| workshop factory. In vain the voice OF the
Committee Man at your elbow shrleks above the
| turmoil and labor Of the pOndcrous machinery:
This is the largest establishment OF its kind in
the country"
Does the evening bring restl Not much. Once
moro your guardian hovers around you, and at the
reception offers TO introduce you the ladies' You
breathe sigh Of relief at the prospect escape Vain
IS your expectation. For unaccountable reason
and this is phenomenon which may we'll puzzle
persons of scientific turn Of mnd-the acqualntances
Of the Committee Man are all ladies Of decidedly
certain age and they look as uncomprOmislng the
buzz-saw which you watched with mated gaze at
the factory in the afternoon. And night when YOU
sink upon your pillow. exhausted there still stands at
the of the bed that dreadful picture OF the Commit
tee Man, to haunt your dreams. and you hear his
voice:
ave manufacture more, and better, and cheaper
than any other nation on the face Of the EARTH
No wonder the delegates tired ont They have
met our Committee Man. Is any other explanation
called forl l think not.
Right here let me interject little anecdote illus
trating feature in the Committee Mans character 1t
occurred at Pttsburg All day long the delegates had
tamped over factories and machine shops getting in
and out of their carriages in drenchng rain. At
laet ono NJ them exprpSsed desire return rho