Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-10-04
PITIL AND POINT.

| Some of the upper crust looks soft
enough to be dough.
Very few persons can hold their own
OH their first sea- voyage.
Electricity is mighty dangerous force,
but some people make light of it.-Lite.
Tie grave digger is always finding
himself in Il hole in the pursuit of his oc-
cupation.
Speaking of classic lore the employment
Of Latin professor is an Instance of
classic hire.
How happy our ncighhors might he if
they would only do rs sc th;nk they
ought to do,
Love is blind, and that's :yhy lovers.
think lighting The gas is unnecessary.
-Baston Courier.
The clam stands The summer weather
better than the oyster IL fact, the
clam is full Of grit.
Jokes about the iccman do not go in
Greenland; TIE ice there is 5000 feet
thick-dcl;vcred at the door free.
Two such blind mcn rs Milton and
Homer rather down" the venerable pro-
verb that tout Of sight is out of mind.-
Won naughty hoy, come tell me now
Noa got yonr eyes MI black and yollowt'
Cause, ma, he said, with troubled brow,
Il couldn't lick the other fellow"
Misery weather. isn't it?'' growled
old Nylo. "Why:" asked his friend.
because il is so close and grasping. -
]'"nlto BL,dc.
Ted-"IIas one always to ask De
links TO pay back borrowed money!"
"WOrsc than that. You never get
ii. ''-Ne,c Io,i; saA
Old Ma;d--''Don't tell such blood
curtling stories; you make my teeth
chatter" Old I3eau-''Iooll ont they
don't fall out '-Epoch
''rhc brave Dame Fortunes smiles,
, command" which brings this fact to
view, that It's the man who has The sand
who gets the sugar, too.
Education without experience is of
about rs much use To Il man as . lace pet
;icoat would he to the wife of an Eskimo
fisherman Courier
The following contradictory inscrip-
ton is OH the door OF one of our public
Offices: positively 10 a,lmittance.
Please close The door. "-Lifa
Lady (who has Just missed her train
to portcr)-''Portcr, how long will tho
next train hc!' Portcr-"Oh. er. sin
teen carriages and :. van, mum. ''-PicG
Ne Up.
Mrs. Struckiit (who recently enter.
tanned Il Count)-''lIavc You ever had
any foreign noi,icmcn as gucsts!" Mrs.
Manorborn (quietly)--"No; only as SER
wants"
Mother 0o her little som-"I Johnny,
go to the butchers ard see if he has any
pigs feet" Johnny ion his return)-
Mammal he had big boots on and l
couldn't see his feet"
There was once n charming young Nine
Who had never icen told about Anne
AT the serpent and Eve
She laughed in her sleeve
And said: "Oh, the poor creature hme."
-LdpreMce -1nlcricHn.
First Gamin-'Say, I'll bet :. nickel
I've more money in my pockets than you
have" Second Gamin yer once.n
After money is put up: First Gamin-
GLOW much money have you got in my
pocket: 50 Tine
Lady Ito gentleman who has been
thrown from his horse)-'.I am so sorry
for you" Genteman-''l isn't so bad,
madam, as it seems. ! assure you | am
much more comfortable now than l waf
in the saddle. FIiegeads Bactter.
The young lady now coniugatcs the
verb: Ice cream, thou scrcamest he
screams. The third person singular en-
bodies the solid truth, especially when
the young man is like the moon in one of
its phases; on his last quarter - Times
DemOcrdt
There is taught that will make man mucl
madden.
And very few things will make hin, sa,i;ler.
Than to ges caught in the rain,
With only his canr.
When les wearing bran.l-iiaw tile.
And q white duel! suit,
And he has 10 scoot
Through the storm for about n mile.
-GoodairS Sun.
Low Comcdian-''Ah, cid friend, have
you seen De Ranter in his new play?"
Comc Viilain-"No, by all things malt,
| have not. DO the gods look kindly on
him!' Low Comcdan-ssWell, he
doesn't have much to do in tie first 1r
second act; its in the third where he wins
his laurels and the public heart" Comic
Viilain-"Ah, some happy stroke of gen
ius." Low Comedian with touch of
naturc}-"Yes, ne don't come on nj ala
Time.