Wichita eagle., 1889-05-02
HENRY w. PAINE.
Anecdotes Showing the Jurist's Wit and
Wonderful Memory.

Anecdotes Showing tho Jurists Wit and
Wonderful Memory.
A writer for the Lewiston (Me) Journal
recently heard some new stories about that
wonderful man, Henry w. Paine, whose
acute sayings are numbered among the
worlds best epigrams. The narrator was
once pupil of Paine's in the Boston Uni
versity Law School, where Paine lectursG on
real property.
zone day." said this gentleman, 'Mr.
Paine made this remarkable statement to
me: I was born on the bank of the Ken
nebec river and grew up there: yet never
went in swimming, put on a skate, played
game of cards, or borrowed dollar"
will leave it to my readers who are
acquainted with the customs of Kennebeck-
ers to decide which of these four specifca-
tons of abstinence is the more remarkable.
81 will tell you an incident" said this
gentleman, "to illustrate the wonderful
power of Paine's memory when he was in
his prime. They were exhibited almost
daily, but never more conspicuously or
dramatically than in this case.
SIN 1879 he visited England, and with a
party of ladies and gentlemen went to
Windsor Castle Although Paine had
never been there before, he seemed to be
perfectly acq tainted in the vicinity, which
he pointed out to his friends with copious
comments. One of the buildings to which
he had called their attention was a house
which he said once belonged to Lord Coke,
the great English jurist.
"'Beg your pardon, SIR said an En-
glishman standing by, who overheard,
Lord Coke never lived there
"'I think am right said Paine, quietly.
IF my memory serves me, Lord Coke ac-
ouired that house by his marriage with his
second wife, Ann Hatton.'
"You're wrong, sir persisted the En-
gIishman. I'm a member of Lord Coke
profession, and know
"'Well, we won't dispute it further said
Paine, pleasantly. sWe probably agree as
well as two lawyers ever do
''Nothing more was said, but the next day
as Paine was walking on the Strand in Lon
don, whom should he meet but this gentle
man. The latter took of his hat on seeing
him, handed him his card, and said: Il wish
to beg your pardon, sir. Lord Coke did
live in that house You were right and I
was wrong
"This was the beginning Of an agreeable
acquaintance.
az remember riding home in horse-car
with Paine one day. continued this gentle
man. Paine was reading q sheepskin-
bound volume of law reports. A mutual
acquaintance hailed him and said: See
here, Paine, do you have to study law stills'
"'This isn't law said Paine. It's only
collection of decisions of the Massachu-
sets Supreme Court
"The great lawyer" the gentleman went
on, 'once quoted some singularly beautiful
and appropriate verses in an impromptu
tribute to the memory Of a distinguished
jurist, the spontaneous eloquence Of which
kept his hearers spell-bound. Somebody
asked him where he found those lines.
"'I only know said he, that my father
repeated them to me over sixty years ago,
when was a lad. I have never seen or
heard them since.'"
Paine inherited his waggish spirit from
his father, who was an inveterate joker.
One day Waterville citizen, noted for
his misery character, asked Paine the
elder to write an epitaph to be placed on his
gravestone after he should have gone.
Paine agreed to do it and sent him the fol-
lowing:
"If Heaven be pleased when sinners cease to
sin,
If hell be pleased when sinners enter in,
If earth be pleased when dies the arrant knave,
Then all were pleased when John links filed