Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-01-02
ONE DAY WITH 4 CYNIC.

you must observe. is q rare combination in
professional cynic. But Thomas Leggett has
changed wonderfully since bis school days
Then, remember, he wastrusting, conhding,
and rather more easily deceived than were
other boys Of his own age. Moreover be was
q young patriot, believed honestly and reve-
entially in the stars and stripes, hallowed
the names of Washington and Patrick Henry
and threw his whole soul and all Il his inhu-
ence into the proper celebration Of the Fourth
OF July.
And now, after a separation Of thirty
years, was to meet Thomas Legsett at his
home. We were to renew our youth and task
in the glorious twilight Of "reminiscences.
had received note from him ordering" me
to repair to his domicile promptly at o a. NJ,
and to then and there pass the day and even
ing. What q CHEEKY, grotesque. yet unique
and picturesque little bachelors quarters
were hist The house was a small, irregular
Queen Anne cottage in the center OF large
lawn in fashionable suburb The exterior
and the coy rooms within impressed one
with their air Of inpudent negliSe and scorn
OF conventionallsm.
The Tom Leggett who welcomed me on the
porch Of this home on this particular balny
June mor1,ing-the lawn sparklin. with dan
delions and the air heavy with the incense OF
llacs-was hot the Tom LeSsett Of thirty
years ago That Tom was o thin, sensitive
youth, with a girlsh face and effeminste
ways This Tom was fat, bluff. hearty, sleek,
quizzical, roly poly and cool as a beer cellar.
Bob" he said, extending both hands and
almost crunchiny the bones Of my own with
his ceuial grasp, Il am glad to see you"
He did not, certainly. need to make am
davit to this. | believed him
II see," Tom continued, abruptly, "you OBJ
serve the chipping OF Of the paint. It's an
old swindle-a chemical imposition, you
know told the scoundrel who sold 1t to
me that believed it was q fraud and the
perjurcr offered to so before q notary and
swear that it had given satisfaction to a
thousand farliiies-in another part Of the
city. John"-to the butler-''send up two
bottles OF port-the red seal-that hasn't got
quite SO much loswood in it as the other"
Then we went into the library.
"This," Tom Legsett said, "is . tri1e bet
ter than the front parlor. There are some
real things in this room-these books, for in
stance. Some of the bindings are cheap,
trashy limitations Of Levant, tree calf aud
morocco, but the thoughts, the language. the
styls-they are all real and substantial
There's Shakespeare; out man named Don
nelly is turning the hose on Shakespeare,
and trying to extinSuish the immortal fire
Of his genus But even Donnelly himself
doesn't believe that Shake is q fraud. Oh
no. Donnelly is too old a literary cam
paigner, has lived too long, and has got the
world down too pat to believe any such
thing himself He caught all he was fishing
fora couple of hundred thousand or SO,
filched from the pockets Of nabobs and fools
mostly fools. Have q cisari They are
Connecticut cabbage with indicated paper
wrapper. Don't bite too much of the end or
the filling will all sift down your esophagus
A man should get a good cigar for SIS .
hundred, but | can't do it when send for
EN-. The dealers won't put you up first class
goods for q first class price unless you stand
over them with shotgun. Don't sit down
in that Eastlake chairl Great Scottl You
must know that an Eastlake chair is only in
tended for All ornament in a furniture store
window, to stand there waiting for some
chump to bite at it. | don't care Il rap about
your breaking it, but you might hurt your
self Take the sleepy hollow. There's Day
boil across the way. He's got his whole
house flled up with Eastlakes, oil except his
new parlor set, and in this the old ignoramus
has given himself dead away. How do you
suppose he has rugged his parlor upF'
Purchased an imitation Turner or Mum
kacsyf ventured
NO, he wouldn't trust himself to buy
pictures. Ho wouldn't know q Munkacsy
from soap makers Autograph. But when
he got his new parlor set in he had linen
pants put on the chair legs and all the satin
and plush covered up. That, Bob, is q stand
Ing advertisement that old Dayboll, rich os
he claims to lie, has actually got in lot Of
furniture that be can't afford to use That's
it, Bob; lie can't afford to use sue h rich stuff,
and lie makes holy show of himself by hpv-
ing it in his house. Why, man might a.
well plug up the top Of . china cuspidor to
keep people from splitting in it I'D hate to
mako public confession that was too poor
to use my OWL furniture. BAIL"
Now. the cigars we're fair and the wine
was unob jectionable So | ventured to sug-
gest that both were fine. Tom regarded mo
attentively for a moment. Then he said,
gravely:
Bob, III take that from you for old times
sake. But, tell yon honestly. il any one
else had said it | should have preached him q
sermon OIL hypocrisy that would have made
his ears burn, and when he went away he
wouldn't think half Is much Of me - when
he came. You do something in politics,
judge, Bobr'
| was obliged to admit the fact, and at
once became tLcreat uneasy.
II thought So" chuckled Tom LcsGett, u
guessed 1t. Well, now. tho smaller your
success the more think OF you. The promi-
nent politicians-some term them Statesmen
are all rascals, every mothers son OF them
Tho real workers for tine peoples interests,
the ones lwho Introduce beneficial bills and
are active in beneficial legislation, are never
beard of, and they are not returned TO con-
gress or the legislature the second term,
either The people, Bob, politically, are just
are just like drLnkards The cot has vague
idea that whisky is tad for him Whenever
hs is himself. or even when not too drunk, be
Is ready to admit it Just so with the people
the taxpayer and voter. They know TINT
q good honest. intelligent. though obscure
man would fairly and faithfully represent
them But their infatuatlon for so,,s stump
bowling batherskite who has sev~-al tiues
before sold them out, and who. they we'll
know, will do It again, is too much for them,
and like the sot turning to his CUPS. they.
too. turn out to the polls and vote into oft3cs
the very rnsster who is bound body and
the financial life out Of them And they
push the honest, intelligent candidate back
into obscurity. Can you recall any very
luminous or ennobling congressional lsgisiar
ton during the past two decadesf'
veutured a demurrer that the subject had
never been considered ty me exactly in that
light
Guess not" again cbuckled Tom Leggett;
'you won't be apt to hear such idsps ad-
vanced, either, from any one else, uniess IL
be from some lunatic OF q red headed anarch-
ist popping the idea up lie . skyrocket, to
end with a fzzle-or q dynamite bomb The
people will then bold up their hands In holy
horror, but they have no reproaches for tie
miserable political sneak whose neglect Of
duty and pernicious legislation have in
damsi the minds Of radicala Lists play
game Of chess"
Usually chess ID game, like whist, TO b
played il silence, but Tom Legget. managed
to enliven it with quite display Of invectivs
and animadversion- Before such q rafting,
harsssing frs Of small arms was powerleD
to duly consider my moves, and Tom Leg
gett won three games before the lunch hour
PLEASE pass the oleomargarine,n be aaid
looked up with surprise and inquired:
Surely you can get butter from the coun-
try and not b dependant On city dealersf
This came from the country; that's Why
believe its oleo"
Pardon my obtusensaA"
"lt's this way. The city sharper gus into
the country, buys country butter, brings IL
to the city. trades with the city dealers, ~
~, vii nd . kulR - AZ