The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1889-12-20
evERYeooYs BUSINESS.

Severai attempts to Start Horse While
the Driver Was Looking for II .ick.
A bay horse drawing heavy express
wagon baked on Dearborn street, near
Washington, about noon the other day.
The horse was n vicious looking animal
with sinister eye, reeking nostrils, and
long, reclining ears, and he balked with
such determination right across the cable
track that the cars were stopped as far
down as Monroe and La Sale streets, and
the gripmen all swore as gripmen will.
A crowd of young clerks, old business
men and jolly littlo typewriter girls
gathered on tho sidewalk, and all the
office boys in the block took front seats,
after their habit, and awaited develop
ments. The driver, who was tall, thin
youth with rcd neck and freckles, left
his seat, and by way of opening business
kicked the horse rudcly in the abdomen.
Amember of the Humane society caught
the boy by the collar and shook him, and
everybody laughed except the boy and
the member of tho Humane society, who
glared at eack other.
HAS anybody got lump of sugar."
the member of the Humane society asked
after n while, the boy having gone to
look for n brick.
~ have" typewriter girl replied
diving into her handbag.
Tho member of the Humane society
said, "Thank you, miss" bowed, rolled
back his cuffs in the manner Of tho gem
tleman. who is just about 10 make a
nickel disappear in his ear, and then at
tempted to thrust the sugar into the
horses mouth. Tho horso's ears flapped
back, his eye Redeemed and he grabbed
at the Humane mans arm with his pink
jaws. The Humane man yelled, ,"Whoar'
ana jumped away; the young men in
the crowd laughed hoarsely and the girls
shrieked.
Banker George Schneider had been
standing in his window watching the
performance, and he now came down
stairs and walked through the crowd.
"In the old country" he said, "we
used to make ballly horses move in this
way" and he got on his tiptoes and
threw his arms around the horses neck.
The animal snorted savagely and shot up
its angry head till its neck looked like q
stand pipe, and of course Mr.. Schneider
went with it. When he had gone up sc
high that he could almost see the roof oi
the Tacoma building he let go, and, fall
| ing, struck Tailor Joe Day. Mr.. Day
changes his trousers every hour, and he
now wore pair of gobelin blue trousers
with white flecks. When he jumped out
of the way to avoid Mr.. Schneider hC
rubbed some axle grease Off wagon hui
with his trousers and swore softly. Mr.
Schneider blushcd under the taunts o.
tho crowd and withdrew to the bank.
A red faced man with sandy mus
tache, who wore q checked scarf arounc
his neck, then came forward and re
marked: "'Ere's the honly woyo tc, dc
the bloomink think" He took n hitch
ing strap from n horse attached to
buggy near hv a,.5 .1o,rU IeS.
Then he began to pull and haul, ant
Assistant Postmaster John Hubbard
who has a good voice, started to sins
"Saw my leg Off" Everybody in Tho
crowd knew "Saw my leg off," an(
the chorus was large all enthusiastic
Officer LAWN paused on his way home
to dinner, saw the unhitched horse, ant
calmly drove off with the buggy, accord
ing to the ordinance regularly made anC
provided. The owner, a little man will
q plug hat, camo out of tho Granni.
block at this juncture and assaulted tn,
Englishman, and somebody began welt
ing the ballSy horse with a barrel stave
This was the signal for combined at.
tack, and everybody who could get neal
enough took hand in hammering the
| poor brute. While this bombardment
was at its height the driver came up.
He inquired for the member of the HUI
name society, and finding that he had
gone he climbed into the wagon, glared
contemptuously at the crowd, kicked the
horse In an ungentlemanly like manner,
yelled "G-ee-t-ee-app," and drove
away.-Chicago Tribune.