Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1889-03-15
THE DOMESTIC COW.
A Smart Young Man Investigates Her
Unamiabie Traits.


on), Koe DUTCH. or Cow (Modern
English). He has done so without
having taken the trouble to investi-
gate those unamiable traits in her
character which it is the object of
this article to criticise. He (the poeD
seems only to have seen her in her
Sunday clothes, as ii were, grazing in
the fragrant meadows or standing at
ease in the shadows OF the babb. ing
brooklet.
NV hired man recently attended a
firemen's picnic, not wisely, but too
well; and, after repeated drinks, he
very imprudently locked horns with n
larger man on the question of tariff re-
form. Need ] say morep Only this:
That he was assisted home by friends,
suffering from severe indisposition
and with his features sadly out OF re-
pair; so that, on the following morn
ing from a sense of duty, ! arose be-
times to milk the domestic Gu (Sax-
on). just as the first pale streaks Of
dawn appeared in the eastern sky.
Girding on some old clothes,
startled forth to seek the Koe (Dutchc.
She had unlocked the gate of the
pasture with her horns. and was then
in the act OF inspecting the flower
garden. She had evidently been there
for some time, during which she had
not been idle. and her manner was en-
tirely free from excitement
Approaching with smile which
has seldom failed to win female re-
gard, said In soothing tones: "soh.
bossy! sob, bossy,' but, after cycling
me comprehensiveiy for a few mo-
ments. she backed leisurely over a
valuable rhododendron bush, and
Hhen started through the shrubbery at
"a swinging gait.
II would be painful to recount the
incidents of that exciting chase. |
got her in the barn at last. and sue
ceeded in Delaying her head to the
manger. after which | said: Stand
over" in distinct tone OF voice. She
knew that | wanted her 10 move to the
left SO that | could get room to milk
her; but wilfully appearing TO misun-
stand the order, she ''stood over to
the right side, iattening me against
the stall.
Did | swearp No, gentle reader. |
did not Why did | not swear? Be-
cause the weight OF the Gu (Saxon)
prevented respiration. Gathering
myself together as one man, ] hurled
her across the stall by supreme eff
fort, and standing the hayfork where
she could see it, prepared to milk.
Any one who has watched the opera
tion of milking a cow will maintain
thai 1t Is n very simple thing to do. l
used 10 think so myself. but 1t is a
great mistake. | am ready TO explain
to any one who will listen to me for IA
few hours. that it is difficult, very diff
fcult to milk n Koe Dutch), unless
there is mutual understanding
a friendly feeling between the parties;
which, in my case. there was not.
Having seated myself under the star
board quarter, grasped the pail
firmly between my knees, as | had
seen the hiroling do, and commenced
to milk. No milk came for i've
minutes, during which time | worked
on in silence. while the Gu ierlxed
angry mouthfuls of hay out of the
manger, ever and anon lashing her
tail against my hat, and looking
around with a sarcastic smile; which,
however. | pretended not to notice;
but at last "A snowy jet shot straight
into my left eye, and, in short time,
another impaired an unnatural
warmth to my lap. had succeeded
in bringing forth the milk; all that re-
manned was to di rect it into the pail.
This was not to be so easily done rs
you would suppose.
In fifteen minutes | had brought
forth twenty-six squirts. distributed as
follows; Three in the left eye, one in
the right. eleven on my trousers, two
on Koes tail, five on the barn floor,
and the balance in the kettle.
just then the hand-malden appeared
and asked IL | had finished milking
She said that the family were waiting
for breakfast. and there was no milk
for the coffee. | told her To wait few
minutes that had not quite finished.
Leaning one dimpled arm on an adj
jacent hay cutter she watched my
efforts with increased amazement, and
atlength said, eagerly; Lord, Misther
Adam, let me milk tho COW. Why
didn't ye NIX me befoare? Shure | used
to milk three cows down home befoare
] whit out to sarvice!'
Recalling the incident of Robert
Bruce and the historic spider, felt
strongly disposed TO hold on and con-
quer the difficulties OF milking If it
took all day; but breakfast would have
TO be indefinitely postponed, and the
feelings OF the family were entitled to
consideration; therefore rose up and
allowed Gwendoline Mulcahey TO take
the helm. This she did with alacrlty,
and, as the milk flew into the tin pail
in thick, vigorous streams, the recep-
tacle responded with joyous wiling
whong. VIKING whong," that seemed to
say: go It. Gwendoline; you are the
popular candidate. and you understand
your biz" The Gu (Saxon) also gave
vent to a chuclSle of ill-concealed tri-
umph as | started for the house. -
Adam Smith, In Texas Siftings.
-" The Pilgrims Progress" has
been translated into tho language