The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-09-08

| tender spot Just above the elbow. In Paris,
the gen d'arme took me politely as one
would take the arm of lady who had
threatened to be a sister TO him. In New
York, the first time that was arrested, if
1 am not mistaken, the policeman took me
| by the rear of the coat collar and by a deX-
ferrous twist of the wrist, asphyXiated me
in a7few moments so that 1 could see the
heavens roll together like scroll. / lost
consciousness and for little time all was
blank. If had not accidentally caught
a reviving Whit of the policeman's breath,
guess would not have been rescusciated
at all.
The Partisan policeman, must say, is in
ferior in his general appearance. So is the
| average French soldier. ! used to wonder
how France maintained large army viii e
she was so poor and in debt, but l see it all
now. She saves many millions of francs
each year by making the tails of the coats
of the military shorter as times get harder
and also shortening the waists of the same.
1t has got so now that the two coat tail
buttons and the collar button behind are
almost in a row. Added to that, the French
soldier is getting smaller every year If l
had to fight in a real war, l would rather
be attacked, think, by French soldier in
a short tail coat and wide, red cotton
| trousers, than by any other adversary 1
can think Of They are not the kind Of
SOlulBrS VINO sustained the TtIQ6rkaDlb SQ-
premacy of the emperor.
The French policeman wears a navy blue
coat that fits him in rambling and desul-
tory way. He also wears linen trousers
which should have tatting around the
BORDERS, but the republic is at present in
such eheotic and turbulent state that it is
almost impossibio to get the tatting appro-
priatiop through. These white linen
trousers costing, we will say, two francs
f. O. b. that is to say, 10 cents free on board
the cars, are the sole covering Of the Paris
policeman's legs. Hence he always has
the air Of a boy who has Been recently
chastised. He carries, as l say, a short
sword or iron stab knife which adds some
dignity to his otherwise apologize appear
anee.
Some will say that | am severe on the
French police, but reply, not 50 severe az
he has been on me. What right has an Off
Ger to arrest me in language which ] do
not pretend to understand and herald my
name all through Europe without paying
the slightest attention to the remarks which
l made in the purest English of which Twas
masterl say and say it also in stentorian
tones, that no country except America can
hope to be great which makes up her entire
police force of foreigners.
In Ireland the police are also foreigners,
but they speak very good English. | was
not arrested in Ireland l bought a little
sprig of shamrock, however, and broughtit
home in little flower pot. sat up nights
to keep it alive and watered it with my
tears while i'll on the ocean. But thank
heaven it pulled through at last and is alive
and growing on my country seat
But it is not Shamrock.
1t is Clover.
And Mighty poor clover at that
If the Irish relief fund is not so large this
year as usual, the public will understand
why it it is thus.
Our iaunting car driver was an Irishman.
He was an extremely enter tanning one
also. Very polite and good singer. He
had the stars and stripes tied to his whip
and so he had good many American dol
lars at the end of the year which he puts
into pounds, shillings and pence. He told
me all about Ireland 50 that know more
about the matter than l ever did before, 1
believe
Then 1 tried TO get even by telling him
about our glorious country. spoke of the
marvellous growth and wealth of the re-
public, also of our cordiality toward foreign
ers who desired to come here and vote our
way as soon as possible.
Then | told him about the great agricul-
tural resources of our country and the
mighty cyclone of the west which IS able
to pull an artesian well wrong side aUt like