The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-03-08
THE LIME KILN CLUB.
The Subject of Honesty Discussed by
waydovn Rebee and Elder Toots

The Subject of Honesty Discussed oy
Waydown Bebee and Elder Toots.
After the reading of the minutes of tho
last meeting and other routine business,
Brother Gardner stated that he had been
asked to secure an expression of opinion on
the question: docs 1t Pay to be Strictly
Honestg" He would call upon Sir Isaac Wal
pole, as the oldest member, first.
81 war in hopes dat queshun would nebber
cum up in dis club" said the old veteran in
reply at ar queshun which has caused
me many sleepless nights, an which l hev
nebber bin able to settle to my own satisfack-
shun On one occashun l found wallet in
de road 1t contained $50, an when l re-
stored it to de owner he handed me all de
money an thanked me besides. On several
other occashuns hev found wallets and spent
50 worth of time huntin' up de owner an bin
rewarded wild 10 cents. A grocer once gin
me $40 dollar bill fur 81. handed it
back an he Civ me half pound of tea. De
very next week Civ him IS bill fur a
s. an he kept it an swore dat l was a liar.
''If buy meat de butcher works mo- or
less bone in on me-" continued tho old man.
eff buy wood or coal it ar allus leetle
short | expect de dry goods man to cheat
me mo- or less, an de halter an shoemaker
doan' allus stick to Jacks If l war strictly
honest l reckon should land in de poo'house
in about a year l doan' advise any one to
be dishonest, but it ar my opinyun dat if
you find a pug dog runnin' around de streets
he should be taken home and tied up to de
bed post until some one advertises = liberal
reward an no queshuns axed."
Waydown Bebee then spoke as follows:
Oar was time when l was so strictly
honest dat ober fifty of the nayburs' chickens
used to roost in my back yard O. nights. At
de same time dem nayburs borrowed money
of me an dun forget to pay it back, an if
left a spade out doahs ober night it was gone
in &c mawnin' If l owed debt ! ached to
so an wake de man up at midnight an pay
him. If found half dozen lead nickels in
my change, l melted 'em up fur bullets to
shoot cats If l discovered ten cents on de
floah in do postoffice l handed it to de post
master Ipracticed dis course fur five long
years, an doorin' dat time l not only run be-
hind 81, 900, but l heard myself spoken Of on
all sides as q greenhorn, pancake an an
idiot. finally decided to change. In five
years has picked up ODER $1,000, am out of
debt an grocers an butchers send to my
house and solicit my trade When you AK
me if it pays to be strictly honest mus re-
ply dat it dont-not by jug full"
Elder Toots was then called upon, and he
said:
''If dar' am any one pusson in Detroit who
has had chicken fur dinner any oftener dan
hev l should like to see his photograph, an
yit wharf am de pusSon who dare stan up an
say steal chickensl | used to be strictly
honest. If found cent in de road went
whoopin' up an down to find an owner. If a
sos lost dog crept under my house to be taken
keer of until advertised l drove hin out an
let de man next doah get de money. l not
only paid the house rent on the day it was
due, but made all repairs out o my own
pocket. l run right down hill, an by an
by woke up to find de old woman out
o Eaters -four, meat, sugar, tea and
eDery Ihlng else cepC t.ouSn Oh hals
an two bars O. soap, while my toes
WAR out to Jinuary weather. On dat same
nornin', as was gwine down town, heard
one man say to another: Say, jim, see dat
pussonl He ar de fool niger of Detroit. If
he had a quarter wild hole in it he would
frow it III de ribber fur fear Of accidentally
passin' it off on millyonary.' Dat sot me
20 thinkin'. Dat very night stole lot Of
wood, three chickens, bag O. taters an a
pair Of butes, an l hev prospered cher since.
specks it will be leetle harder on me when
cum to de gates of heaven, but l am dom
powerfully well down yere below an, increas-
in my fat cherry ay.'-Detroit Free Press.