Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-12-06
STUFF AND NONSENSE.

estate man.
IHE proprietor of crcmatory is do.
pendent upon his urnings.
| LANDLADY--How do you like YOUR
eggs? New Loardcr--- Fresh.
AZURE cure for the blues" sounds
rather cerulcan as we'll rs paradox.
ical.
lE-Darling. will you love when I'm
gomez Shc-Ycs; il you are not too far
gone.
WHO can give us the name and adj
dress of the shoemaker that first tried
to cobblc stones?
HEPUBLIcs were ever unrrateful.
We put orr great men on postage
stamps, and then punch their heads.
AN old maid sail she wished she was
mn anctionccr, for then it would be FER
fcctly proper to say, "Alakc me an
offer"
a WRITER lakes whole column in
newspaper to tell What We Drink"
while another has simply to wink ut
the bartender.
ED-My grandfather died tonight.
Al-And | suppose you will have to
pay for the funeral? Ed-Oh, no, the
city pays the expenses; grandpa was
hung.
Mrs. SHAW, the whistler, separated
from her husband a few years ago and
earns her own living. We suppose she
asked him for money and he said she
might whistle for it, so she did.
An old man of orr acquaintance saws
he was Torn at the wrong time. When
was young" he SAYS, young men
were of no account, and now that I am
old. old men are of 10 account"
"YEs, sah," said Maj. Rihlc "the
hcntuckians are Il courageous set of
men, sab. Brave and sclf-reliant in any
peril. That's very true" replied
Billy Bliyen. IL never knew one of them
to take water"
WOMAN Ito tramp Want some
thing to eat, CHI? Well here's some
cold hash. Tramp-But 1 haven't got
anything to cat it with. Woman-Just
keep on little further and you'll find
a fork in the road.
JIMsoN-Grcat henvens! old man.
what have You been doing with your
self? Why, you're covered with mud
from head to foot Wilson, dined in
Bowery restaurant, and 4 waiter upset
cup of coffee on me.
NEPHEW Crying to make good i'm
pressionl = Uncle, this port Is excel
lent. Uncle-Wcll l should think so:
it is fifty years old. Nephew-By Jove,
You don't say so. What a superb wine
1t must have been oncel
MI. GALL wonder what Won wero
dreaming about last night? Yon
reached out and pattcd the marble ton
Of the table and smiled Mrs. Gall
oh, | remember now. / dreamed was
ratting you on the check
GMDED youth Ito charming young
lady whom he meets Oil the carsy-Aw,
good morning, Miss Dasher. Glad to
meet YOU. We do not see rs much of
You now rs we did when we were at
the beach for the bathing.
WHAT'S the matter, Eddic?" "Willio
Thomas has gone and moved out of this
street, boo hoo" We'll, don't cry;
there are plenty OF other little BOYS in
the neighborhood to play with" yes.
but he's the only one / could lick"
DIsENcHASTMEyr.
While We gaze in admiration
On II sweet a:.i ri,linnt lnss
Ald think only swerteat music
a. hr"uSh those coral lips pnss.
Ncr" aw!ulls shocked to see her
Down the garden pathway stride,
ANA Eenr hc- cry. Say. johnnie comein
Or mother will an your hide.'
Mrs. WiCKwIRE - Ii woman were
given the credit she deserves, I don't
think man would be quite as prominent
Ill the worlds history. Mr.. Wickwire
i guess you are right. Ii she could
get all the credit she wanted, he'd be
in the roorllouse.
WHERE he put his faith: Long.
suffering Wifc-How do Won expect a
woman to provide vittals and drinl,
when You don't bring home no cash
Saturday night? Husband-Whv,
Alrier, the grocer and the butcher amt
moved, has they?
NERVOUS Gentleman Now, be care
full how You drive, cabby; and go slow
~ over the stones, for I hate to be
shaken. And mind you pull up at the
right house, and look out for those
dreadful steam cars. Cabby-Neyer
fear, sir, I'll do my best And which
'orspital would you wish to be taken to.
sir, in case of an accident?