The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-10-09

y
hut prove blessing.
as Life a Failure?n in my next.
GEO. w. WILLIAMS.
Naco0chce, Ga., august %. 1889.
Letting Alone as q Means OF Child
training.
A Young father who was al earnest
student Of methods of child-training,
and who sincerely desired to be faith,
fal in the training of his first child at
any cost to his feelings Of loving ten
Gerness toward that child, made mis-
take in this direction, and received a
lesson accordingly. His child was as
full of affection as she was of life and
spirit. She had not yet learned what
she might do and what she might not
DO, but she was rapidly developing i'm
pulses and tastes in various directions.
Her father had heard much about the
Importance of parental training and
discipline, but had heard nothing
about the danger of OVERRIDING in this
line; hence he deemed it his duty to
be constantly directing or checking his
child, so us to keep her within the linn
its of safety and duty as he saw it.
To his surprise and regret, the father
found that, while his little daughter
was not inclined 10 waywardness or
disobedience, she was steadily coming
into state of chronic resistance to his
attempts at her stricter governing.
This resistance was passive rather than
active, out it was none the less real for
that. She would not refuse to obey,
but she would not he ready or prompt
70 obey. She would not be aroused to
anger or show any open sign Of disre-
spect, but she would seem unable or un-
willing to act as she was told to. Kind
words and earnest entreaties were of
no avail at this point, neither were
they ever resented or explicitly reject
ed If punishment was attempted,
she submitted to it with go d grace,
but it seemed TO have no effect in the
way of removing the cause of original
trouble. The father never lost his
temper, or grew less loving toward his
child he prayed for guidance, and he
gave his best thought to problem be-
fore him; but all to no apparent pur--
pose. The matter grew more and
more serious, and he was the more be-
wildered.
One day, after q serious struggle
with his little daughter over matter
that would have been tritling one eX-
cept as it bore on the question of her
character and welfare, the father left his
house with heavy heart, and almost
in despair over this question of wise
at the door he met a
friend, much older than himself, with
whom he had been a co-wOrker in sew
eral spheres of Chistian activity. See
ing his troubled face, that friend asked
him the cause Of his evident anxiety.
and the young father opened his heart
and told the story Of his trouble.
Isn't the trouble, that you are over
doing i'll the training Of your child ?'
asked the listener; and then he went
on to give his OVID experience in Illus
tration of the meaning of this ques-
tion.
My first child was. my best child, u
he said; land harmed her for life by
OVERRIDING in her training, as l now
see, in looking back over my course
with her. thought I must be train
ing her all the time, and forced issues
With her, and took notice of little
things, when I would have done better
to let her alone. So she was checked
unduly, and smut up within herself by
my course with her and she grew up
in rigid and unnatural constraint
which ought not to have been hers. l
saw my mistake afterwards, and | al
lowed my other children more free
dom, by letting them alone except
when they must be interfered with
and I'vc seen the benefit of this course.
My rule with all my children, since
my first, has been to avoid all issue
with them on a question of discipline
whenever l could do so safely. And
the less show of training there is, in
bringing up child, the better, as see
t.n
father. He determined ut once to try
to act OH its suggestions, since the OPP.
posite course had been such signal
failure in his hands. When again in
his home, an opportunity for al eXper-
mant was soon before him. His little
came into the room, through
Il door which she had been repeatedly
told to push to after she had passed lit.
Without any special thought on the
subject, the father, who sat writing at
his desk, said, as often before "Push
the door to, darling" And, as often
before, the child stood quiet and firm,
as if in expectation of q new issue on
that point. The counsel Of the morn
ing came into the fathers mind, and
he said gently, "You needn't shut the
door to, my darling, if you don't want
to. Papa will do it," and at once he
stepped and closed the door, returning
afterwards to his desk, without a word
of rcbuke to his child.
This was new experience to the
poor over-taXed child. She stood in
thought for a few minutes.
Then she came lovingly to her father,
and, asking to be taken up on his
knee, she clasped her arms about his
neck, and said Dear papa, Pm sorry
| didn't shut that door. will next
time. Please forgive me, dear papa.n
And that was the beginning of now
state of things in that home. The fi-
ther had learned that there was a dam
ger OF overriding in the work of child
raining, and his children were after
wards the gamers by his added knowl-
edge.
In the case of this father, the trouble
lad been that he made too many direct
ssues with his child on questions of
and obedience, and that thus
ne provoked conflicts which might
nave been wisely avoided. After this
new experience, he was very cautious
It this point, and he soon found that
lis child could be trained to obey