davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
MEANT TO BE FUNNY.

Feeling His Way.-Hennepekk (who
has rung the bell of mis- own house)-Is my mother
in-law in or out, Bridget?
Bridget-Out, sir.
He enters.
A Desperate Extremity.-"what the
deuce makes oldbore continually talk to him
self?''
Cant get anyone else to listen to him, sup
pose.'
AT the Club.-Bylk-Funny what queer
dreams fellow has, isn't it?
Sukker-Why, have you dreamt that you paid
me what you owed me?''
Bylk-No, dreamt you lent me more.
A Searching Investigation.-Snypes-
Seems to Inc these advanced school doctors carry
things little too far, dUn't you know.
Pypes-Why so, dear boy?
Snypes-Why, there's Doctor Jones, now. He
made me swallow glass eye yesterday, to see
what the matter was with my liver.
Young but Gifted.-Lie l. Time II A. M.
Mother-Now mind, johnnie, there's ghost In
that dark closet guarding the jam!
Johnnie trembes violently and commences 70
water at the mouth.
Lie IL. Time p NJ.
Jobnnie-oh, mammal The ghost has eaten half
of the jam.
How He Won Them.-On the rolling
prairies. A band OF cowboys have captured
horsethief.
Cowboys Qn gleeful chorus)-we've got you
now, you villain, and you are going to swing.
They prepare the rope and select q convenient
tree.
The Villaiu-Hold on, boys. I'm bet you ths
drinks you don't stretch my neck.
Cowboys-Oh! won't we, just?
They pinion his arms.
The villain-I can put you up to some valuable
secrets
They tie his feet together.
The Vnlain-I know where s6o 900 In rold IN
buried.
They adjust the moose to his neck.
The Villain-I can put you ON to q new silver
mine.
They commence to hoist him up
The Villain-And I've got six new tricks AZ
cards.
Chorus Of voices Cexcltedly) Hold oni Let him
down.
He is let down, released and pardoned.
AL from Lfss.
By INTUITION.
Little baby cannot tell
When he's sick or when he's well.
But he knows when papa sleeps.
For then's the time he starts 10 yell
csc.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
CATHOLIC CHURCH NEWS.

Only Two Cardinals Receive Their Hats,
Owing to Illness of the Rest.
NEW YORK, February l5.-The Catholic
Nelps of this city, to-day received the follow
ing cablegram from Rome: Yesterday only
two Cardinals received their hats, Dusmet and
Macchi d'Annible being too sick to attend the
ceremony. The preciozation of the following
Bishops took place: John S. Foley to Detroit;
John ]. Henncssey, to Wichita; Thomas Hes
lin, to Natchez; T. J. Dowling was translated
from. Peterboro Canada to Hamilton, Can
ada, and the Dean of Connor was named for
the latter See.
Bishop John ]. Keane, Rector of the Ameri-
can Catholic University, was named to the
Mgr O'Connell, Rector of the American Col
lege in Rome, asked for and received the
Pallium for Archbishop Jannsen, of New Or
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
Baseball in the Eternal City.
From the New York worId.1

From the New York World.l
On Sunday, February "a, the wandering
knights of the American Baseball diamond are
to play game in the Eternal City. o Rome,
Rome If you are not made to howl at that
time the testimony of the past does you grave
injustice. Not since the walls of the Coliseum
echoed the cries of an excited populace enjoy
ing the contests of men and animals has the
city of the Caesars had so lively q time in pros
pect. Would that we could all see the face
of the noblest Roman of 'em all as he first be-
gins to comprehend the beauties of curved
pitching, base-stealIng and foul catches,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

EDISON said in recent interview that he
believed the phonograph might be success
fully used to sing babies to sleep. Un-
doubtedly he has brought the phonograph
very near perfection, but we doubt whether
he has yet made a machine that will wake
up and sing every time baby cries during
the night
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
Regrets Her Hard. Heartedness.

Jacob Walder, 25 years old, fell in love with a
young woman of Union Hill, N. j., and asked
her to marry him. She refused Last night
she gave him second and final refusal. Wald-
er walked the streets all night, and early this
morning bought revolver. Helocked himself
in his room, wrote note to the effect that he
died for love. and then shot himself in the
head. He isn't dead yet. The young woman
whom he loves has been at his bedside all day
and promises to marry him if he recover.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

THE essential difference between Mr..
Mills and the late Mr.. Christopher Colum-
bus is chiefly to be found in the fact that
the latter's discovery of America was a
benefit to the world, while the gentleman
from Texas discovered mares nest, which
will not even beAeft himself. Why does
not Mills discover his proper vocation in
Iifao
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

From the New York world.l
Anundertaker occupies seat In the Penn
sylvania Senate He has a very grave manner,
and he is fond of seeing that bills are buried
with due solemnity. 1t is too bad that there
are not more of his calling in the New York
Legislature There are a great many meas
ures there which should be inferred with skill
and dispatch.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
New York's Oldest Voter Dead.

Moses s. Bauer died of old age yesterday.
He was I01 years and 10 months old. He
was born at Schoffen, in the grandduchy of
Darmstadt Germany, and came to America in
1885, Until recently, Mr.. Bauer was bright and
well. He read the newspapers, walked several
blocks every afternoon, and talked politics.
He was the oldest voter in the city at the last
election, and cast his ballot for Harrison. He
retired from business ten years ago.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

BRADsTREET's report, printed in this is
sue, shows the country's trade to be in a
fairly prosperous and promising condition.
The outlook for iron has not improved, but
the healthy state of other markets may have
some encouraging influence upon Pitts
burg's great industry.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

A CONTEMPORARY suggests that q pro-
cession of the Original Harrison men" be
made feature of the Inauguration day
ceremonies This might be interesting, but
it wouldn't be fair. The original Harrison
men are so numerous that if all of them
should attempt to parade at once there
would be no room for anybody else in the
procession. They have had glory enough
and ought to be willing to stand back and
give the soldiers chance.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
whiskers Drive Him Mad.

Louis Marx, Is years old. now in Bellevue
Hospital, excites great deal of attention
among the physicians. He was admitted a
year ago, suffering from chronic lead poison
ing. He did not improve under the regular
treatment, and at present shows symptoms of
catalepsy and hydrophobia. When man with
whiskers approaches him he goes into par
oxysms of rage and snaps like a dog.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

A NEW YORK weekly called Lies will
henceforth be known as To-day. As it is
devoted to society news and club gossip
principally the change will not be noticed
by the readers. The lies of yesterday and
to-day are very much alike.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

Ex-PREsIDENT RUTHERFORD B. HAYES
told reporter yesterday that the way the
prohibition question impressed him was that
yesterday might be considered fine day.
There are great many people who would
echo MIR. Hayes bold views if they were
asked to declare them.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

OIL is Just moving up and also down
enough to make the tender lamb sigh for
the fields of his former fleeing. And the
brokers sigh, too, because the lambs are
neither so numerous nor so ingenious as
they were In the sweet long ago.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

THE halfbreed Indians in Bartlett
county, Dakota, are evidently highly civil
ized. They are objecting very strongly to
paying taxes, and use language to the
Sheriff worthy of alien land owners in ALLIE
gheny county.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
Just Aching to See the White Caps.

Staten Island has been struck by the White
Cap mania. The young men who sit on barrels
in Clifton's corner grocery nightly, were warned
yesterday to stay at home evenings or take 20
lashes each. The letters of warning contained
ploodthirsty Illustrations of skulls and cross
bones. pierced hearts and slit ears, and we're
signed white Caps" This morning a second
batch Of letters arrived. Every young man who
has received such warning has bought re-
yolver and invited the White Caps to ma
terialize.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
Lewis Bnrker,

WASHINGTON, Pa, February 15.-Lewis Bar
kor, Of the heaviest stockholders in the First
National Bank of this place and for many years a
day, aged 70 years, -
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
SENATOR FOR A SHORT TIME.
Sketch of the Gentleman Who VIII Succeed
Chandler for n Few Months.

EXETER, N. H., February l5.-General Gill
man Marston has been rendered and accepted
the appointment of United States Senator by
Governor Sawyer, from the 4th of March until
the Legislature in June provides for the next
six years term. His political career began in
1S45, when he was chosen to the legislature,
and was three times reelected. In 1850 he was
a member of the Constitutional convention; in
1859 he was elected to Congress, serving two
years.
At the outbreak of the rebellion he was, ,ap-
pointed Colonel of the Second New Hampshire
Regiment and was promoted quickly to Briga-
dier General In 1865 he was again elected to
Congress. Since 1872 his services in the Legis-
lature have been almost continuous, and he has
been leader on the Republican side.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
Rlaine,a Rnrtauholes.

From the Chicago News.1
Mr.. Blaine was seen on the streets of Wash
ington the other day with rent in his over
coat. AS the buttonholes were still intact
everybody 1.-THE capital is wondering why the
office-seekers are not attending more strictly to
business
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

IT is pity that the Rev. Mr.. Silence, of
Chicago, who is said to be fraternizing with
Socialists and Anarchists, does not adopt
his own name for a motto and keep his
opinions to himself.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
NEW YOkK'S GOSSIP BUDGET.
Manager GuIick's Honeymoon.

LNEW YORK BUNEAU SPECIALS.J
NEW YORK, February l5,-The evening World
has the following: "Isn't this touching? There's
Pittsburg manager in this city surreptitiously
honeymooning. 1t is r. NJ. Guhck, the success
full proprietor of the Pittsburg Bijou. Hestole
away from his managerial post last Saturday,
after marrying a charming young Pittsburg
lady,"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
A Warning for whisky Drinkers.

Thomas Walters, 60 years old, called for
whisky at the bar of Broadway saloon late
last night. As he reached for the bottle, he
staggered back and then fell to the floor dead.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
SEVERAL SOCIAL EVENTS.
Pleasant Little Parties in n Number of
Homes on Friday.

HOMES on Ff1daY.
Among the pleasant social events incident to
Friday evenings day of the week when So
ciety may be said. ordinarily to be as much at
rest as on Sunday-were those noted below:
Progressive euchre parties were given by
Mrs. Frank Torrens of Torrens station, and by
case o small company Of guests passed a de-
hghtful evening.
Miss Smith, of Ellsworth avenue, gave an
Sat home" at which many of her legion of
friends paid their respects.
The ladies of the Central Presbyterian
Church. Allegheny gave supper IN the
lecture room.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

THERE is very appropriate location as
signed to the artificial ice works which a
cotemporary tells US will be built herein
the near future.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

The First Secretary of Agriculture.
WASHINGTON, February l5-Mr. Norman
]. Colman, the newly appointed Secretary of
Agriculture received his commission from the
President this afternoon, and took the oath of
Office, which was administered by Mr.. o. d. La
Dow, his private secretary.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

A WHITE crow or happy Mugwump are
not harder to find in these days than a civil
conductor on cable car,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
DANCING DEMOCRATS.

The County Organization Enjoys Itself in
Its Annual Reception.
The County Democracy gave pleasant even
ing reception at Imperial Hall, new Grant
street, last evening. A large number were
present, including some of the best known pol
fticians Of the city.
About $50 couples were in the grand march,
which was led by the members of the club.
The Original Royals and McMichaels furnished
the music for dancing.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16
j. f. HolIInssworrh.

Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
YOUNGSTOWN, February 15.-J. II. Hollings-
worth. aged 81 the oldest business man In Youngs-
town, died suddenly this morning.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

The value of this is so obvious to the least re-
Election, that it is perhaps scarcely necessary to
enlarge upon 1t. Business people, from Job
downward, have been recommended by philo-
sophlcal friends, when complaining of the re-
verses which keep their thoughts employed,
and themselves awake on the pillow, to take
courage, and forget their trouble. But Job,
and the succeeding very long family Of suf-
ferers, have, in the absence Of an art of for
getting, invariably found this an i'm
possible task. What triumph on the
appearance Of the worry, to confront it at
once with the resources of the art, and utterly
suppress 10. If this succeeded. sufferers might
20 on to further victories. Shakespeare re-
marks that no philosopher could ever bear the
toothache patiently. Modern science would
improve on philosophy if it could teach US to
forget toothache. Aided by the professor of
anti-mnemonics, the sufferer might pass the
dismal hours of that disease in mirth and
revelry. All doctors, indeed. might get ac-
customed to find their patients sitting in easy
chairs, eonvused with laughter over works Of
wit and humor, with a memorandum jotted
down in readiness for the medical arrival, re-
minding the sufferer that he was the victim of
toothache, gout angina pectoris, and SO on
ailments which (for convenience and easel he
had decided to forget until the doctor should
come.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-16

OFTEN the questions asked by small chill
dren are the hardest of all to answer.
An East End correspondent of mine tells me
that a small daughter of his named Amy was
taken by her grandmother to see the house her
(Amy's) father lived in when he was small boy
When they came home Amy asked her father:
Papa, when you were a little boy, who was
my papa?"
The Daily bulletin., 1889-12-30
A SIMPLE PROMISE TO PAY.
rTrom the NEW YonK TIMES, June %, 1889
lF THE uNITED STATES

The Equitable Life Assurance Society has adopted form OF
which, like without cOnd
The Daily bulletin., 1889-12-30
From the CHICAGO INVESTIGATOR

Always the alert anxious give the public the
of New York has, the made advances old methods
and has been the beane life greater degree
perhaps than other organization 1t is all surprising there
this before
the which
The Dickinson press., 1889-11-23
FOREIGN OPINIONS.
Comments OH the Brazilian Revolution
by the london Press,

oil the Brazilian Revolution
by the London Press.
LONDON, Nov. 19.-Until definite news
of the Brazilian revolution was received
the London and continental press re-
Trained from extensive comment on the
situation or the probabilities arising
therefrom. Now, however, while they
are disposed to agree that the dispatches
sent out from Rio are highly colored in
the interest of the dominant party or
faction, they venture to express opinions
generally unfavorable to the stability of
the new government and to advance ar.
guments tending to demonstrate that the
fall of the empire is the precursor of a
period of ill-fortune for the country.
The Standard expresses its belief that a
reign of anarchy will ensue when thefull
import of the enormity of the change
which has taken place shall have i'm
pressed ~itselfllpon the minds of the peo-
pie, and callS attention to the fruitful
field opened to agitators of all the va
rlous heresies extant designed by ire
sponsible persons for the purpose of
checking the march of civilization and
compelling its retreat.
The Paris Liberte in an article on the
subject confidently expects the restora-
ton of Dom Pedro's government within
a short time. The removal of the en-
peror, it is believed, destroys the key
stone of the prosperity and progress of
the nation and places it in a position
from which it is sur to lapse into an
archy.
The London Times hints that Germany
and Spain may interfere to %re-cstablish
the empire.
The Dickinson press., 1889-11-23
ALIBIS FOR SUSPECTS.
Witnesses for Defense Testify to
the Whereabouts OF Cough
lin and O,Sullfvan,
Apparently Clear Case Proved
for the Latter-Beggs Will
Be Acquitted.
HOLIDAY, the Lone Highwayman. Sen
fenced for Life-Jury in COLON
Forgery Case Disagree.

CHICAGO, Nov. 1s.-There was intense
interest manifested at the re-opening of
the Cronin trial, and the crowd around
the doors of Judge McConnell's court
room almost came to blows in their en-
deavors t gain admission. When court
opened even standing room was at a pre-
MUM. The first witness called was
James Clancy, q reporter and special cor
respondent for The New York Herald.
In reply to Judge Longenecker's ques-
tions Mr.. Clancy testified that he was in
Chicago about the time DIR. Cronin's
body was found. The morning of May
%, before the body was found, Clancy
called at O%'Sullivan's house and asked
him what he thought of DIR. Cronin's
disappearance O'Sullivan said he did
not believe the doctor had been
murdered, but that he would turn up all
The Dickinson press., 1889-11-23

right some time. He said he had known
DIR. Cronin for about five years. O'Sul-
Ivan admitted to witness having made
the contract with DR.. Cronin, and ex-
planned that he needed himto attend any
cases of accident hat happened to his
men. O'Sullivan also told witness that
he had been personally introduced to
DIR. Cronin about four weeks before by
Justice Mahoney. Later on that day,
after the body had been found, Clancy
went to O%'Sullivan's house again and
asked him if he had heard the news.
O'Sullivan replied that he had heard
there was a body found in the lake, but
it had not been identified. Witness then
described with ar imitation of O'Sulli-
vans voice and manner, what followed
when he told O'Sullivan that DIR.
Cronin's body had been found IN
in a catch-basin. O'Sullivan, witness
said, turned pale, his voice trembled and
he sank into a chair, apparently over
come by his emotions. He %nervously
applied his handkerchief to his face and
wiped away the perspiration. Witness
asked O'sullivan to 50 with him and
identify the body. O'Sullivan hesitated,
put his hand before his eyes, and ex-
claimed: II could not do it; I could not
DcdI W iOOh az d COl Pse, IL Woulu Do VI
no use; l can't do It," Again, before
leaving the house, witness urged O'Sul-
Ivan to go with him and view the body,
but he refused. Witness also asked
O'Sullivan for Mahoney's address, and
was given a false one. At the conclu-
sion of Mr.. Clancy's testimony, Judge
~Longenecker stated that the state had
presented its side of the case.
When Clancy left the stand, Mr.. For
rest was Immediately on his feet with u
very lengthy motion to strike out all the
testimony of about two score of wit
nesses who testified at various stages Of
the case. Had he carried his point very
little evidence would have remained for
the jury. Judge Mcconnell, however,
promptly over-ruled the motion and Mr..
Forrest took his usual exception.
The first witness for the defense was
Frederick Squibb, the stenographer that
reported the %coroner's inquest. He was
required to read his notes with the view
of showing that Frank Seaman, "Maj."
Sampson and Jonas Carlson had told two
very different stories at the inquest and
at the trial. Lieut.. Koch was also called
and examined on the same point, and an
a~d adjournment was then taken.
The Dickinson press., 1889-11-23
is GUILTY.
NEWSFROM THE DAKOTAS
NORTH DAKOTA.

"
Governor Miller has issued his Thanks
giving day proclamation.
The Hitchcock artesian well has been
leased to the parties who have built the
fine roller mill there, for fifty years at
the nominal rent of 81 a year.
A large bull buffalo was sven about
five miles from Bismarck last week. 1t
was probably a stray Cne from some
small herd in Canada or the foothills.
The young man giving his name as A.
s. Mason, arrested at Fargo for forgery,
right name is A. II. Ferree.
In North Dakota it is estimated that
considerably over half the wheat has
been marketed, and the farmers loss of
faith i'll higher prices is rapidly depicting
the remaining surplus.
At Grand Forks the grand jury finish
ed its deliberations Saturday and found
nearly seventy indictments, Many city
saloonkeepers are indicted. for having
gambling apparatus in their possession.
A few plead guilty to the indictment and
were fined $500.
The arguments in the case of Henry
Melton, the Fargo postoffice clerk ac-
cused of robbing the office, and to avoid
suspicion shooting himself in the arm,
claiming it to be the work of robbers,
has been bound over to the United States
grand jury in the sum of 81, 1000.
General Manager Todd, of the Thomp-
son-Houston Electric Company, of st.
Paul, was at Grand Forks last week with
a view of introducing al electric street
railway hero next spring. Seven citizens
have already offered their signatures for
Although Dakota is divided and two
states admitted, yet the line of division
beyond the Missouri is not established.
Technically Dakota is not divided, and
the President did right in admitting them
as twins. Not only are they twins, but
until the seventh parallel is surveyed
across the Sioux reservation they are
Siamese twins.
A funny incident occurred the other
day at Grand Forks. Widow Thomp-
son, who has been a county charge,
made a complaint to the commissioners,
that a Mr.. Koss had inveigled her into
signing away a 25-foot lot that belonged
to her. The commission had Koss ar
rested, and he seeing no avenue of es-
cape, offered to marry the widow. The
latter is entertaining the proposition.
The records of the supreme court of
the territory of Dakota, with the exccp-
ton of a few papers, are in the posses
sion of the late clerk of the supreme
court, who holds that they are the prop
erty of the United States, and, therefore,
could not be included in the division of
property between the states of North and
South Dakota. Mr.. Young if of the opin-
ion that the records Of the United States
supreme court are under the department
of justice, and is now awaiting an order
for their disposal.