Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-09-21


him.
\ BooTLEss attempt-To get up
stairs without being heard by your
wife.
Hi stood not on the burning deck
No flames around him spread
But his case was lurid, Just the same.
For the hair of hi- gil red
THE mother of the modern girl SAYS
ner daughter is like piece of cheap
calico: she won't wash.
TAKE back the heart thou gavest
me" as the man said when he drew
one when he wanted club to fill.
How CAN | get ahead :" asked dull
farmer boy of pcssimist. by raising
cabbages, " vas the consoling reply.
How DID you like the sermon to-
day." Well, it was such a nod dis.
course that | slept through the whole
of it.
EXAsprENTEp gardener wonder
who tore up my garden in TINS style?
Gardeners little boy The old hen did
it, with her little scratch it.
A YoTNG man who gets the opror-
tnnity to 90 see. his best girl only ON
the evening of the first day of the week
is strongly opposed to the prohibition of
the Sunday press.
NJ, CuRKLE-it's queer that none of
these railway robbers are women Mrs
McCorkle indignant Indeed And
why? Because they know so we'll how
to hold up train"
"How DO you like my new necktie ?"
asked George of Mabel. "Oh, very
well Don't You think lis becom-
ing "les, George: it is becoming
soiled very rapidly
THE pastors wife-Dr Talkwell OK
changes with my husband next Sun
day. Thoughtless parishioncr - In
deed! Perhaps l can persuade my hus.
band to come to church.
BosToN heiress-I am afraid it i, not
for me, but my money, tina Won come
here so often. Ardent wooer-Iou are
cruel to say so. How can ] get your
money without getting YOU?
The Young man who stands on the
sidewalk in front of his swcctheart's
residence late at night, singing MY
Souls at the Gate" will find her pas
sole at the gate if he doesn't watch
out.
MEs. JEPsoN What poor spirited
creature You are. Jchicl. ! wish Won
would he either man or mouse Mr..
Iepson-l wish | was mouse I'd
make you climb the bcdpost in a holy
minute.
BEEJoNEs - Well, wife, Sam. our
prodigal son, is coming home. Shall
we kill the fatted calf? Mrs. Il. ire
flcctiug) -No. Perhaps it would be less
expensive in the long run to kill tho
prodigal.
BuFF>L" BILL * greatly angercd
because the authorities of Paris insist
ed upon vaccinating all the members
of his Wild West Show. Col. Cody
regards the matter MS very scahbv
proceeding.
THE advantage of the p~lagogue:
Merrltt-lf Won keep on, Iohnnie. Won
will soon know as much as Your teach
or. Little Johnnie know ~ much
now if | had the book before me like
she does
him to stay at home and do the churn-
ing when he wants to so to the circus,
who inveighs the most bitterly against
the onc-man POWER. He prefers dog
power on the churn.
TRAVELLER on Mississippi steamer
What makes You have the bar in the
center? Why don't you have it on the
side, out of the way? Bookkeeper-
Well, We would, but Won see il won't
do to have too many passengers on one
side of the boa
MINNIE-What do You think? Mr..
Goodcatchs watch stopped while he
was calling on me last Sunday evening,
and he staid until after T.. Mamie T
heard him say yesterday that your face
would stop clock, hut never dreamed
he had any grounds for making such a
remark.
value o. Inc cent.
We can do nothing with conner