The Red Cloud chief., 1889-02-01
Or. WISE'S GREAT THEORY.

nis lucoricS queer,
Half fact. half surmise.
Slich excited such vast scientific surnr;sa
OLD Dr. Wise Was . wonderful man.
~" mostly to Projects and theories ran:
.ccouid tell how Z fever germ acted and grew,
""u ai"assc could show you a dozen or two.
mo the poor devil lying
tever stricken and diving
Ale seldom or never contriyed to null throuon.
Win the greatest presumption
He discoursed OF consumption,
A"0 a'u All the blame on some parasite sly;
AZ Tor cancers and tumors,
They came OF bad humors,
Ano absorption would cause them to shrink up
End die.
hut this wonderful man not alone
ASH common practitioner shonc:
FOR who has not heard how the whole world
was stirred
When he published his book. .srhe Domes,,c
Outlook:
Or, how 10 Extcrminate Rats
without Ferrets or Poison or CATS"
"hS' the plan was so pretty. so simple and
witty, II seemed a great pity
That rats 10y million and billion and triIliou
Should haunt human dwellings In country and
city.
Just secure a mad cat;
Let the cat bite a rat.
And there be a mad rat:
There ends your labor:
He'd bite his neiyhior.
And then this other
Would poison his brother.
An see your face dimple with joy at the
scheme;
IT'S a. easy and simple As mince-pie and q
dream:
The madness would spread
Till the last rat was dead.
but Twas most as a critic that DIR. Wise came
To make for himself a professional name,
For whenever a patient OF wealth or OF birth
would escape his physicians by fleeing from
DIR. Wise never failed to indite q review
which showed that the death TO malpractice
was due.
II is small wonder. surely,
That a man OF such skill,
Declared death 10 he purely
An avoidable i'll. which ought never 10 XIII.
In fHct, he announced il To be his conviction
That death in all cases resulted from friction:
For the body was naught but machinery cum
ming,
While life was the power that kept il . running.
Then why should not science
Some cordial distill.
That might bid defiance
To death = power TO kill.
Some unctuous elixir. TO friction superior,
That should Intricate mans complicated in
Whenever he felt himself grow slightly wearier.
This argument met on all sides with great favor,
For OF reason IL really did seem 70 SAVIOR.
Bes:des. il is true in religion and physic.
When the spirit or body is feeble or Is sick.
Man retains best the nostrums Of plcassntest
Or. to hold this thought up 20 more evident
view,
Man accepts rs the truth what he'd like TO have
true.
How many a preacher is salaried well
For "a weekly discourse on the absence Of hell,
Though his parrof-like lips nothing further can
tell.
Now. in sIl human breasts is implanted a strong,
Illogical longing to live. and live long,
Antedating DE Icons historical scramble
Through dangerous wilderness, tEickct and
bramhle,
Oyer desert and plain and impossible noun
tain,
To resain his lost wears in a mythical fountain.
The world then. received
Ir. Wise very kindly.
49, And ere long il believed
His great theory hiindIy.
TIL" excitement produced IN a storm cYlmi-
mated.
Into which the famed savant n las, illuminated
That he. the inyinciblc investigator.
Had found . receip, for the grea, sibrica,or.
Well. Ia shorten a story already too long,
A hail Sas secured and a numberlcss throng,
The young and the gray,
The religious. tine gay.
Sister and brothers and fathers and mothers.
Assembled from everywhere. distant and near.
A lecture on How to Live Always" 10 hear:
No scoTcrs We're there. their belief was COM
plcfe.
And each brought a note book to take the re-
CENT.
Eight O'Clock was the hour which the Doctor
had set
Eight O'Clock, and he cane not. half past, and
not vet
no his faithful disciples grow weary or fret.
Nine clock. and then ten, when 1t some ones
suggestion
hcarriage was sent for the great man in qucs-
tion.
II went. II returned, and the news quickly
spread
That the lecture was OF. for the doctor was
dead
George Horton. in Chicago Herald.