davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20
Will Give Him q Lift.

tramp stopped the Rev. David
Swing, who, with q meditative air, was
walking along Michigan avenue, and
said:
My dear sir, you look like benevo-
lent man."
II hope so, Mr.. Swing replied.
"Ab, l feel that you are" He tried
to make one leg shorter than the other,
and then, after giving to his face that
Inundated look of suffering which is
the tramps greatest accomplishment,
added:
@Would you mind helping me a lit
tle?-just little. I am almost fam
ished. I haven't had bite to eat for
four days"
well, come over to this restaurant.
Mr.. Swing replied. and will get YOU
something to eat"
"My heart Autters with thanks, noble
sir, but the truth is, I am a victim OF
dyspepsia, and beset by the peculiar
fancies of the dyspeptic, [ can eat only
at a certain place. The only place in
this town where I can eat is modest
little restaurant away out on North
Clark street, near Line DIN Park. Give
me twenty-five cents, please, and let me
hasten out there ere it be too late"
I am gong out that way" said Mr..
Swing, land shall take pleasure in
sc eing that you get enough to eat.
The agony on the tramp's face deep
ened. 1T is long way from here, Sir"
he mournfully answered.
81 know that, but I have business
out there"
How fortunate; how exceedingly
fortunate. Let me see, now. I am o
comparative stranger in this bowling
turmoil of q city-wait a moment. I
have made mistake The restaurant
is on West Madison street, away out
near Garfield Park"
THAT is still more fortunate" Mr.
Swing replied, "for your mention of
it reminds me of the fact that am al
most at this moment due in that neigh
borhood. Come, let us hasten"
"Yet-er-that is-say, Idon't really
feel able to go away over there, that is,
not in company with any one, for if I
am in company with a man whom adj
mire am compelled to talk, and my
physician has warned me that talking
is positively dangerous to my nervous
system"
"Well, you get on one car and I will
get on the one Immediately follow
ing. Thus, you see, we shall be separ-
ated."
Eyes. and capital idea, too, but in
my heart-way down in my heart of
hearts, I could not place such restric.
tons on you"
mo restriction, assure you"
"Oh. in your generosity you deny it,
of course, but-oh, by the way, now
that have thought so much upon the
subject, I remember restaurant down
at Dire 1el boulevard"
MY friend, I have not. for many
years, come upon SO many odd coinci-
dences. Believe me, am now on my
way to Drexel boulevard. Come let Us
take a car"
The tramp sighed, and then the hui
inflated look of suffering faded from
his face. II cave" said he, Il simplys
throw up my hat and cave. Let me
know when you are to deliver your
next temperance sermon, and I will
come around to Central Music Hall
and give you lift. So long. "-Arkan-
SaU Traveller.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20
satisfaction Wanted.

Magistrate Ito Mrs. Con Kelly
You claim, Mrs. Kelly, that Mrs.
OToolihan gave you that bruised and
blackened face?
Mrs. Con Kelly-She did, yer Honor,
or I'm not Irish born.
Magistrate-And what you want is
damages?
Mrs. Kelly-Naw, sir; I want salts
faction. I have damages enough
Hdrper's Magazine.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20
pRocRAsrINAr10N.
By SQUIRE HoBBs.

How prone we are to say forgive
And plight our faith TO trr no more,
THEN DER again the error live
And penitent the wrong deplore.
It's said tits human thus to err
And leave un.ione some woEted eaSks
And yet tbs human to prefer
For wong forgiveness thus to ask.
We fully think in earnest mood
To faithfully perform the trust,
But o. her cares HuC u intrude
And from our minds the duty thrust.
Mayhnp letter long delayed
We owe some anxious, waiting friend;
But blame we hope to then evzde,
And want Of time TO write pretend.
Vain hope! That very friend, in sooth,
Has pleaded oft tie same excuse;
And, knowing we'll it's want OF truth.
He. smiling, labels 1t q ruse.
Full many a promise rashly made
Is fated ne'er to be redeemed;
Full many a duty long delayed
Has lost to us u friend esteemed.
OsaoOD, Ind.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20

in the exsrcises. Largo Delegations
from Jewell, Cloud, Washington and
Mitchell counties have signi6ed their
intention Of attending. Judge John
Martin, Of Topeka, win be the princi-
pal speaker.
Medicine Lodge Index: The acting
mayor and the city council of Medicine
Lodge drove the opening wedge that
will reveal the future prosperity Of this
city and community. With Col Charles
II. Eldred and G. /. Human, they signed
a contract that viii insure for this city
substantial and practicable system Of
waterworks, and besides the building,
equipment and operation of a sorghum
sugar plant with capacity of 200 tons
OF cane per day. The work of erecting
the sugar plant is to commence at once.
1t must be completed before the middle
Of July. The waterworks must be COM
pleted and in operation by September
1, 1889.
Arkansas City Dispatch: Many of
our citizens yet remember Andy Hutch
ms, a lawyer well known and practicing
at one time in this city, says the we'll
ington Standard. He is now at Purcell,
I. T., working pretty smooth scheme
to make some money out of the opening
of Oklahoma to settlement. He is Or
ganizing stock company, which will
have for its objects the guaranteeing of
certain lands in Oklahoma to settlers
who do not wish to mingle in the rush
and hurry of the first days Of the land
Office. The company. will induce GER
tain poor devils who are there dead broke
and without friends to file upon claims
and sell them Accomplishments at about
$50 apiece. An intending settler can go
to the Office of the company and buy
REIMBURSEMENT if he wants to, instead
of filing. The profits of the company
will materialize in the difference between
the price paid the poor starving tools
and the price realized from timid boom
ers or those who get to the promised
land little late. If the scheme works
Andy will make barrel of money. If
it fails to work it will not be because
Andy is poor schemer.
Winfield Courier: Near Mr.. Shorts
place, on Badger creek, mile and a
half southeast of town, has been living
man who feared the banks. He would
risk none of his gold with them. He
was going to the territory to be absent
some time. Before going he put his
surplus, 5000 in gold, into an old tin
can, soldered on the head and buried
the treasure on the bank of the Badger,
being careful to place land marks by
which to easily find it on his return.
Two months ago he came back. Badger
had been On several "highs," and the
land marks washed away. Where he
thought he had left the can it was not.
After six weeks daily and fruitless
search the miser dispaired of ever find
ing his gold, and told his boy about it
and offered him S25 if he would find it.
The boy began to grub and to hunt.
Two weeks availed him nought. He,
too, was about to dispair. Finally the
hunt was continued down the creek. A
half mile below, lying bare to the world,
on drift pile, was found the can. The
old man jumped in glee, and swears the.
banks are good enough for him here
after. Whether the lucky boy got his
$25 the story sayeth not.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20
How We Are Made,

~Hullo, Billy shouted Norwich
public-school boy of the primary di-
vision to a parochial-school chum, I'm
studying hiiine and phizzerology now !!
Don't teach 'em In your school, does
they? They tells yer all about your
self, just how many insisters and mol
ers yer have in yer mouth, and how
yer all tied together with igerments.
If these teachers tell the truth, Billy,
were dun up just as carefully as
bundle dried apples is."-NOrwich
Bulletin.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20
LETTER FROM THE CORNERS


tho 8f1tor q time,
Int William Henery he'd it in his back
awful bad fur two or three DAYS. He's
all rite now tho, an we air goin over
to the o'clock tea to Mis- Hopper's on
the day arfter to-morrer mite.
But, Mr.. Editur, beleave I wus q
tellin you about the school marin an
the widder at the Litanny Sciety hevin
o rebate.
It wus sumethin about wimmin hevin
q rite to lee ther franch eyes. I dunno
list whot it ment, but thay did.
The wilder spoke furst an she thot
tibet wimmin ort to be let vote an hole
orifice an all tibet, ses she: "The min
folks air glad enuf to hev us winning
60 to church, to party's, to the theater
an to heving with EN- an I fur my part
can't see why we shoodnt go to a pole
an vote with EN-. furthermore" ses
she, Il woodn't be depended on to the
best man the good Lord ever made,
jest to be abused by him."
She sed quite o lot more, an then
the school-marm she got up, an ses
she:
@My 'onered opponement ort to no
jest how meen the other sect is, seein
es she hes he'd sum appearance with
en-" an sed she, every buddy nose
tibet she woodn't Jump ennything hire
then a. tin rale fence to git to be
depended on to one of them same
crewel, hateful, tyranycle men, thare-
fore we must include tibet she air jest
q talkin fur the sake of argymint."
All the min folks clapped thare
hans an LATED, an the wilder got es
red es our old gobbler.
Then she went on, an ses she, Il
don't beleave q woman wus ever created
to vote, but Jest simply to be loved, !"
an she looked over to WHARF her new
bow wus settin. The min folks all
stamped there feet an clapped worse'n
before. When they quit, she ses, "The
reeson why the min like to hev us pore
lone wimmin so with EN- to church an
sech places es becaus tibet es thsre
proper spear, but es fur goin to the
pole, I woodn't go now eff Good, but l
can't say what I might do when I live
to be es ole es sum peple thet no so
mulch about it"
She sed q lot more, but I haint got
time to repete it. The school marin
beet, an everybody cheerd, an the wild
der looked pich forks an hay hives.
Thay called on the school marin fur
song, an she sung sumthin about a
picknick. 1t he'd in it:
An big fat Bill, the BOBBY, moved roun like q
live haystsck,
He upset the leminade tub, an wet Mis- Joneses
back.
They all hollered an LATED, and even
the wilder jined in an arsked her to
speek a peece, so she spoke "Mr.
Socrates Shocks"
It tells sumthin about him gittin
married an q calm everything my"
his wife tole him to say sour; he sed
he woodn't, but when she took her slip
per to him, he wus glad to say it. An
so next Sunday, es they wus gittin'
reddy for church, he SEES, "My dear,
may we put on our new Sunday breech-
esq" That brot down the house, an
she ended by sayin, Beware of wild
ders," so spose Mis- Shocks he'd bin a
widder. Everybody LATED an LATED
an thot they he'd o awful good time.
We air goin agin. think it is
awful improven to go to such places.
Lor SURF, I mus quit rite off an go an
bring them close in often the line.
Yourin in haste,
HESTER ANN SCooPER.
Chicago Ledger.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20

A MAN in Jamaica, Vt, has started .
newspaper and calls it Jamaica Ginger.
That's the paper to take in the green
apple and watermelon season.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20
Some Figures by a Reporter.

One of the problems with which q
reporter on . morning newspaper has
to deal is the probability of finding at
home men whom he is assigned to in
terview after s o'clock In the evening.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20

A ROCHESTER, girl has an admiref
who always brings her chewing gum.
She calls him her gumbeau.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20

at is the partings in this world that
give us pain, sadly sings poet. It is
the meetings too. If you don't believe
this. ask the man who has . note to
meet
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-04-20

receives is eight dollars per month as a
Mexican war pension.
DR.. Austin Flint, late professor in
Bellevue Hospital Medical College, Fell
low of the New York Academy of Medi.
cine, member of the state medical soci-
cites of New York, Virginia, Rhode
Island, Massachusetts,. ETC., says in
speaking of Bright's disease, or adj
vanced kidney disease, 1.-The minor eff
fects are headache, loss of vision, i'm
paired hearing, involuntary muscular
twitching, cramps, drowsiness, vomiting
and diarrhoea." These are but some of
the common symptoms of this malady,
which accounts for Warmers Safe Cure
curing SO many diseases (so-called)
which are not diseases, but are symp-
toms OF advanced kidney disorders.
Dispatch from Belleville: DR.. J. 81.
Speer, druggist of this city, received
notice from the White Caps warning
him against selling poisonous drugs at
the peril of having his business build
ing burned and himself tarred and feath-
cred. Across the top of the letter were
the numbers from one to thirteen above
each of which appeared dagger. The
warning was signed by Thirteen White
Caps."1 local lodge of Independent
Odd Fellows are making big prepare
tons to entertain a large number Of
lodges of neighboring cities on April
26, the occasion being the anniversary
Of the founding of the order. It is ex-
pected that at least 1900 members Of
the order viii Be present to participate
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-08-28

seems they were expecting to win their
bets, and lost them. Probably If they
had won, the gamblers on the other
side would have done the bowling, and
denounced the "skin games " of the
Northampton fellows. Each set was
after the money of the other set, with
no good to anybody but myself" in
the whole transaction. Getting some
thing for nothing by superior "sharp-
ness" was the sole purpose Of both
sides. Dishonesty is absolutely insepa-
rable from the race course, and the fact
that every horse that runs in every race
where money is bet has to be closely
guarded, night and day, to prevent his
being hocussed" by the other side,
shows the opinion each horse gambler
has of every other. The man who bets
means to win, and will rarely stick at the
means necessary to that end. 1t is all
in violation of law, anyhow.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-08-28
Moral anb Religious.
No Religion.

The worst kind of religion is no re-
ligion at all, and these men, living in
ease and luxury, indulging themselves
in " the amusement of going without
religion" may be thankful that they
live in lands where the gospel they
neglect has tanned the beastliness and
ferocity of the men who, but for Chris
tianity, might long ago have eaten their
carcasses like the South Sea Islanders,
or cut off their heads and tanned their
hides like the monsters of the French
revolution. When the microscopic
search of skepticism, which has hunted
the heavens and sounded the seas to
disprove the existence of Creator, has
turned its attention to human society,
and has found place on this planet
ten miles square where a decent man
can live in decency, comfort and secu-
rity, supporting and educating his chill
dren unspoiled and unpolluted; aplace
where age is reverenced, infancy re-
spected, manhood respected, woman
hood honored, and human life held in
due regard; when skeptics can find
such place ten miles square on this
globe, where the gospel of Christ has
not gone and cleared the way, and laid
the foundation, and made decency and
security possible,- will then be in
order for the skeptical literati to move
thither and there ventilate their views.
But so long as these men are dependent
upon the religion which they discard
for every privilege they enjoy, they
may well hesitate little before they
seek to rob the Christian of his hope,
and humanity of its faith in that Sa-
vior who alone has given to man that
hope of the life eternal which makes
life tolerable and society possible, and
rob. death of its terrors and the grave
of its gloom. Russell Lo,ceU.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-08-28
Cure for Gapes.

Get an ordinary goods box, say three
feet wide and two feet high by three
feet long, with one side out. Now cut
window in opposite end from the
open end, take glass, window sash
will do, and put it over the front end
good and tight. Now put your chicks,
about twelve or fifteen at a time, in the
box at rear window, and then take a
brick and heat it hot and slip it in at
the window, just inside, and pour one
half of a teaspoonful of pure carbolic
acid on the hot brick and then close
the window tight to prevent the fumes
escaping. Let the chicks remain in
the box for two or three minutes. In
the mean time watch them through the
glass, and if they seem to be suffering
from suffocation you must give them
some fresh air. | have a strip off of
the box at the top and lay cloth over
it, and when | want to give them some
fresh air raise the cloth. Repeat this
treatment every morning for three or
four mornings or until relieved. 1t is
the best and simplest plan to treat said
disease | have ever tried, and is very
cheap; you can be your own judge
about size of box. The main object is
to get them to inhale the fumes of the
acid, and this is what kills the worms
in their throat, aud when killed the
chicks will cough them up very easily.
| do not think that anything you may
feed to them will kill The worms, as they
are in the windpipe, and food never
reaches there. Correspondence South
erN CulhudtOr.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-08-28

| know of nothing in our day more
painfully and surely indicative of the
interior wrongness of our life than the
inability everywhere manifest to rest
and be quiet. No life was ever healthy
and strong in which there was not
central rest, and something to support
and feed that rest. But in our dav
the question, Z" What shall | do next?"
is asked before we have well finished
that which went before. And so much
of our activity is blind and purposeless.
1t is merely wasting and consuming
time. There is no virtue in it, and no
intelligence in it; consequently no
profit. Life does not become purified
or strengthened or enriched or made
happier thereby. 1t is simply squan-
wrong; it is foolish. 1t is not simply
harmless activity; it is the activity that
comes from internal hollowness of ma
ture. We congratulate ourselves on
being the most "alive" people in the
world, which means, in plain English,
the most restless. But mere restless
ness has no inherent virtue or good
ness in it. 1t simply denotes the pos
session of vitality, which vitality may
be altogether uneducated and unframed.
In every useful life there must be in
ternal rest. There must be something
believed in so firmly and so continu-
ously that it holds to itself the mind
and the heart. Therefore it is that the
apostle says, Be we steadfast, unmov-
able. "-Rev. Reuen Thomas, DID,.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-08-28
The Coming Fairs.

Some radical changes in the manage
ment of both town and county fairs is
needed, aud | am not sure but the
state fair can also be included in that
category. 1t has been my business for
a number of years to 60 up and down
the country reporting the fairs for va
rious papers of more Or less influence.
have visited many meritorious shows
in that time, but fourd many things
that could easily be improved.
In the first place, all arrangements
ought to Danish every side show of IA
"snide " character from the grounds.
1t is no place for them among u crowd
of farmers, who represent the stability
of the land. Clean them out; refuse
them room; GUST them; arrest every
man of that character who enters the
gates, or even sets up his stand on adj
jacent territory.
Baseball games attract large crowds,
but are totally out of place at an agri-
cultural fair. That is for strictly farm
products, and ability to play ball is not
an agricultural accomplishment. With
baseball. Dust horse-trotting, aside from
the local races for fun. The encourage
ment given young men in breeding
trotting stock by these fair GU trots has
been curse to the state. Prizes too
glittering are constantly held up to them
and they fancy fame and fortune flow
from the horse they may chance to
own. The mortgage on the farm in
many localities is the direct result of
horse-trotting, and an unsuccessful at
tempt at fast-horse breeding.
We enter the halls and see bewilder-
ing arrays of brilliantly colored fancy
work, the traditional green dog on red
canvas. 1t is the same everywhere
| bedqults, notices, afghans, scarfs, etc,
ETC., all pretty articles, fashioned by
def fingers, aud all well enough in
their way. My chief objection is they
are given the prizes in preference to
the more homely, but far more sub
stantial, articles manufactured in the
farmers kitchens. 1t is likewise true
that larger share of the fancy articles
are shown by the ladies who live in the
villages, often possessed of unlimited
leisure. The farmers wives and daugh-
tiers have no such leisure at command
They know the stern realities of house
and housekeeping, and the trhes
| llSHl DIS air, are HOl 50 Olleu Tue WOlh
of their hands. / have heard women
say: d" These are so pretty, but have
no time for them" True enough, and
the thought is often discouraging
They all long for pretty things and
time to make them, but all, or large
part, Get no time for it.
The right way to do is to offer prizes
for the best bread, best pies, best whole
meal, gotten up by farmers wives or
daughters. Let it be liberal, even tC
the extent of taking the prizes entirely
away from the heroines of the fancy
work. This would stimulate girls t.
learn to do such work in the very best
manner. 1t would teach them that tn,
substantial things of life are not de
spised, and might, in time, lead to thu
development of better cooks and house
keepers. B. II. ALLBEE.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-08-28

Gods grace flows into our souls as
we let it flow on TO Others; and when
we cut off the overflow, our own con-
duits become foul and gorged. He who
is ever giving himself away will ever
have a renewed life. Grace will do for
his spiritual life what the agencies of
the body do for it in replacing the
wastes. That body is dead which has
ceased to give itself out to make room
for receiving new elements. And this
is the philosophy of spiritual life. The
miracle by which empty souls about us
are to be filed with good is made de-
pendent on the obedience of Christ's
servants, and without obedience he can
work no miracles for us; for without
our cooperation any miracle in our be-
half would be our curse. The first
question is, " Where shall we begin?"
Where would robin or sparrow be-
gin in the work of filling emptiness
but in their own nests? the empty,
gaping mouths are filled before sunrise.
What have we done to fill the empty
souls of our own households? Has a
word or a prayer been dropped into
them?-The Presbyterian.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-08-28

A SOUND LEGAL OPINIoN.-E,
cambridge Munday, Esq, county at
torney, Clay county, Texas, says'
{" Have used Electric Bitters with most
happy results. NY brother also was
very low with malarial fever and jaun-
dice, but was cured by timely use of
this medicine. Am satisfied Electric
Bitters saved his life." Mr.. ID. /.
Wilcoxson of Horse Cave, KY, adds II
like testimony, saying he positively be-
lieves he would have died had it not
been for Electric Bitters. This great
remedy will ward off as well as cure all
malarial diseases, and for all kidney,
liver and stomach disorders stands un-
equaled. Price fifty cents and 81 at
any drugstore.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-08-28

"GRAPEs stand at the head of the
list for fruit upon which little work
need be done except an annual trim
ming in the spring." says an exchange.
But don't you believe it. If you doubt,
write to vineyardists, anywhere, The
grape-grower has more evils to fight in
the vineyard, to make a profit, than
that writer ever thought Of
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-08-28

IN Kentucky lawsuit the other day
it was proved that horse which had
run away five times and kicked two
men to death, was warranted "per-
fectly gentle, and safe for any lady to
drive" Now and them" comments
the Detroit Free Press, 4" there is a
horse-trader who is absent-minded in
his statements"