The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1889-08-24
TWO JOHNS, TWO COATS.
The Perplcxities They Caused by
Getting Mixed.

clerk in the clothing store; lit fits like pa
per on the wall, he was going to remark,
but feeling this rather hackneyed, he added:
at Its like the skin on sausage"
"Seems to me it's kind Of loose, (" said the
customer, trying to get view of his own
back in the glass feat which many people
endeavor to perform every day Of the year,
and in which no one ever succeeds-''it sort
of wrinkles"
ssWhy, that is because you turn and twist
60" said the clerk. Besides, you don't
want it to At too good, only just easy. Why,
now, II you could see the elegant look Of
your back from where stand" added the
clerk rapturously, II vow and declare you'd
buy It this minute for fear some other gen.
tleman should get 1t first" And the clerk
folded his arms on the pile Of ready-made
ovcrcoats all exactly alike even to the last
button, and felt that he could never do bet
Ter than that while he lived.
And ~ Mr.. Meyer could not get behind
himself, and was Q trustful person who be-
lieved what people said, he bought the coat.
Having had 1t put upon hint was cold,
and he decided to wear 1t home-Mr. John
Meyer received his receipt and bow Of dis
missal, and walked away with little fiut-
tered consciousness Of his elegant back, that
would have been very speedily dispelled
could he have seen himself as others saw
him, for the coat was much too big for him.
Meanwhile another young man entered
the clothing store, driven by the falling
thermometer to purchase an overcoat.
EXACTLY your size" said the talented
clerk, a. he took number two from the pile
and proceeded to force his customer into it.
II can't quite think it is" said the vic
tim, g he moved his arms uneasily, sit
feels too tight"
IA new coat always does, don't you
know" said the clerk, ''if it's the At it
ought to be. A gent of your figure don't
want to 60 about in bag. Why, II you
could stand where stand and sec how styl-
ish your back looks, sir, you'd not let me
taxe II on for fear some other gent should
snap it up, not knowing he couldn't look
like that in it."
Tho customer fell into the trap - the
ether had fallen.
His vanity was tickled, and he revealed
the fact in his countenance. He paid for
the coat and offered the clerk cigar, and
the latter gentleman remained dreaming Of
promotion; for now that he had tried new
method on two customers, and succeeded in
making . sale each time, what might he NOT
affect in the futurel
Later on, the twin coats separated on the
pile, met again on the backs Of their pur-
chasers.
"Mr. Meyer" said . gentleman walking
with friend down long business avenue,
sslet me introduce you to Mr.. John Meyer
Coat number one bowed.
I'm John Meyer myself" said coat mum
Der two. "When Adam had grown tired Of
A. - At "a III
the rest be called John Meyer"
Then ill three gentlemen laughed ct the
Joke, and went to the nearest place where
beer was sold. After that, a. John Meyer
number two was stranger in the city, Mr.
John Meyer number one took him to the
theater, and afterward to have oysters in I
pretty cafe.
Meanwhile they talked business and got
other to be the very best fellow in the
world.
Meyer number one, being . householder
went directly homo. His wife was sitting
up for him and came to the door in crimp
ing-pins, with kitchen candle in her hans
and . pink nose and eyelids indicative o
weeping.
II have been frightened to death, John,
che declared. II heard bowls down tn
street and thought . policeman must b
clubbing you"
"What for, my deari" asked her spouse
beotowing . connubial kiss.
20, because they love to do it." said Mrs.
Meyer, ssif over thew catch any one out YER
late. II you were driven to read the paper
- you eat up alone - often - am, you,
know what YVES going on, too"
Mr.. John Meyer had married silly littl
woman, because, - he said, he liked tina
oort and heonly chucked her under the chi
and said:
"Well, Pm homo now, Tootsey. Let
ohut up the house and 30 to bed. How doe
nv new ovorooot 1oolkl''
M. Meyer exnnnined II critically.
'sWsll, ft's allt11o leose, think" sail
~
ssWs,l, I Am know. You DOM wan
= look = 4 yup were nelted and poure
~ aeeck - know be'indA' $40 -