davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-12-21

for Christmas gift selection. Keep
everything almost, well, everything for
the house A nice line Of Brackets with
mirror and pegs for the hall, 9l.25.
Shaving Stands at all prices.
Perhaps you are going to let Charity
begin at home and see about home liking.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1889-12-21

Blankets make suitable present, 50
do Pufs; we have all kinds.
A Mantel Clock suits nearly every one
and So buys beauty. striking every
half hour and fitted with the celebrated
Cathedral gong. They're nne- Cheap,
too.
No place to heat
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-09-25

grasp which suggests cold Indifference and
an apathetlc tcmperament may he due
in reality 10 physical weakness and
a shrinking state OF the nervous system,
while the stiff formal touch that clearly
expresses pride and ungenial reserve may
be simply the result OF shyncss and awk-
ward manners; and many girl may do
herself injustice IN this respect quite un-
known 10 her nearest and dearest, who
would correct the failing were they aware
Of 10. Her Others and sisters, her "couS-
ms and her aunts." give her the kiss and
embrace of love and intimacy; even if they
shake her hand there is no constraint in
the touch: and as thew proudly survey her
pretty face and figure they little imagine
that she has marred the effect OF these
charms by her diSagreeable greeting. and
is being described as a languid inanlmate
creature" or II mass of ailectation. On
the other hand. many Of us know 10y sad
experience that the iron pressure which
leaves our fingers crushed and tingling is
no certain proc. OF correspondingly tena-
cious character. ami that the giver OF
it, ia from being the truest OF
friends or most loyal OF lovers. as
his close and lingering grasp bespeakS him.
may prove. after ALL but "A base and treach-
erous weakling. easy TO be swayed by ad-
verse influences and ready 10 fall away
from faith and troth at the first breath of
misunderstanding. Some day. perhaps, a
new development OF palmistry may teach
Us TO draw accurate deductions as to char
acter from hand shake. Meanwhile, l
pin my faith 10 the quiet. earnest grip.
which is alike free from exaggerated
warmth and chilly indifference. 1t is for
the purpose OF teaching girls 10 take Just
the rightly tight and the politely quiet grip
OF greeting that. in certain select school.
a teacher shakes hands with all the pupils
every Thursday. She criticises or COM
mends each hand-clasp. Thus carefully are
some OF us being educated.
The wheel Of the busy dame who decides
for us what we shall wear Is, like the sea.
never at rest She was recently occupying
herself with country costumes, but that Is
past. and attention Is being turned to au-
tumn novelties. Here is one OF them in the
form Of an original dress in a combination
of steel-gray surah, with paler gray dents.
as designed, upon a crepon under gown,
only visible here and there. an trimmed
with dark silver-gray fiat buttons. The hat
is gray felt. 70 match, with black and white
striped surah trimmings Braided gowns
appear likely TO be prominent feature. but
the braiding will not be of the ordinary
kind to which we have been accustomed.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-09-25
Who Can Afford Expensive Habits!

1.-TWO things l could never afford are
getting shaved by barber and smok-
ing cigars, remarked "a wealthy Trojan
recently. AS he Is also abstemious in
an alcoholic sense, and declines to par
take OF even glass of beer, we infer
that he thinks he can not afford liquid
Injuries. And yet he lives in an ele-
CANT house, drives fine horses before
costly equipages, and ! rs handsome
income. Isn't it curiUu that he is la
boring under the hal In,.tion that he
can not afford luxu. s which many a
dollar a-day clerk INDUCES in extern
slyely? The man Is honest. He really
thinks he can not afford to drink
whisky, smoke cigars, or get shaved
loss of time waiting at barber-shops
being his principal objection to the
latter practice. He doesn't understand
what an educational and news center a
barber-shop Is. On other subjects this
Trojan IS perfectly sane, and we might
say sagacious, for in spite Of these hal
lucinations he developed himself from
penniless boy into man of wealth.
A singular case, isn't il.
Ex-Mayor Kemp tells of man who
COluc W lllll III ueSLlIullOD, out OF WORK
as we'll as money, and applied for aid.
With Characteristic benevolence and a /,
heart stretching sympathetically to-
ward his unfortunate brother man the
ex-Mayor responded bountifully and
sent the suffering suppliant on his way
rejoicing. Taking stroll few days
after, Mr.. Kemp was surprised and de-
lighted to find the applicant flourish
ing. He was sitting at bootblack
stand, smoking cigar and having his
boots polished. From beggary he had
reached that point in few brief days
where he could afford the Injuries
named. All he needs is a little sub
stantial encouragement from open
pocketed men like Mr.. Kemp to be-
come leisurely man about town, and
n welcome and valued patron of boot
blacks, beershops, and cigar-stands.
With such an example of what mere
mendicant can afford, the rich man
must blush 20 acknowledge the frugal
remark with which this article is intro
duced
Are there, indeed, habits which none
of us can afford ?-Troy Press.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-09-25
War in the POstOffice.

Several years ago, when John S.
Thurston, the wel1-known Republican
leader of Nebraska. was stamping the
State in an important campaign, says
the New York Tribune he included
its extreme western part, then decid
edly wild region, in his circuit. He
was proceeding by stage to Sidney one
day when they stopped at little sta
ton to change horses. While this inn
portant operation was going on, a large,
notwithstanding man, whose most
conspicuous article of clothing was
big revolver, approached the stage
cautiously, and, wLilo occasionally
glancing nervously at small building,
some hundred Yards away, with large
sign of "postoffice" on it, he inquired
for Mr. Thurston. That gentleman
made himself known, and the stranger
said:
"You speak down at Sidney tonight,
/ hear"
"Yes, / expect to-"
81 reckon I'll come down with my
partition and do little work"
What is your petition for?' in
quired the Judge.
The postotiice up there" and the
man pointed at it with his thumb.
us there = good prospect that you
will get it? ?"
"You bet-I'm sure of it, but / lowed
a few more names wouldn't do no hurt.
When / get il there's goin' to be dog
gondest biggest change you ever seen
in small place.
"How's that?"
"Why, / amt had letter out O. that
air Office for over two years.
"Why not?"
""The dinged critter that has it now
saws he will shoot me on sight, and YOU
bet he'd do it, too, so | lay mighty low.
When letter comes fer me he nails it
to the door, shoots it full of holes, sends
word fer me to come and get it, and
watches fer me out o the winder."
How comes he to have such dis
like for you?"
Claims | stole one of his steers.
didn't touch none of his steers till he
hooked two o. my calves, and L can
prove it. But jess you wait till my
commission gets here and / get hold of
that Office. iii wad the first letter
that comes fer him into my shotgun and
fire it down the we'll Just wait lit
tie, ledge; he'll find that 1 can pound
stamps with one hand and cover the
front door with a six-shooter with the
other Jess as well as he can. My name
is old Jim White, and you bet when
I've got my boots on l can tie up the
Eastern mail with teeth and hold a gun
on the gen'ral deliv'ry and money
order winder both at the same time.
Old Jim White ant no rabbit when it
comes to holdin' government position
an looking out fer his rights.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-09-25

Il low you'uns hev hearn tell o
Slacker's Pint ?"
"Oh, yes used ter go ter see wild
der down thar" And the Justice
laughed at the recollection thus
awakened He was bent on making
himself facetious before his guests
"Thet war six year ago an better"
Il low now eff hit warn't Sally
Jane Helamacky,' said the girl, with
coarse giggle.
1T war Sally Jane Helamacky," an
severed the Justice, smiling $50 yer
live on Their Pint, stranger 2" he asked
turning again TO the man.
"Waal, dad, he lives thar, an live
thar with i'm" the dumpy srecimen
replied.
what mought yer name be?"
"Sid Johnsing."
"By gum [ low you'uns be no Ia
ton to ole Murray Johnsing, as used
to run still down in ole Kaintuck?
Pow'ful man, ALFRED, low-down, or
merry cuss ole Murray was" said the
Justice. his Characteristic outspoken-
ness coming to the surface.
81 be ole Murray's oldest boy,
Squire" said the fellow. with broad
grin, while harsh giggle came from
beneath the tiny pink sunbonnet.
Il be bowed! / wouldn't although
it! Wa-al, look a-here, young gal; sech
bcin' the case, as this here Sid YOU be
thinkin' o hitchin' up ter be chip
often Their ole block, ye'd better mount
yer bobtail critter an ride home un-
| hitched furever, nur marry alongside
sech burned fammerly as ole Murray
Housings"
"Wot be yer name, gal?" old Hiram
now asked, turning to the green-clad
creature before him.
"My name be Mirandy Ann Smith.
| an / low | knows wot's wot erbout Sid
Johnsing. He's a heap ther best man
on the Pint" And she tossed her head
rather Indignantly.
yer be no kin, low, ter ole Lutte
Smith, wot was so miserable lowdown
as ter steal Widder Gratis hog, over
t'other side o. Turtle Bottom 2"
WAL, now, Squire, jest low / be.
/ be his darter by his third wife" And
she snapped her pale eyes upon him
most triumphantly
"Waal, / be plumb dog-gonel" ex-
claimed the Justice But it's q
mighty blessed freak o fate fur you'uns
ter want ter hitch, fur it'd be a plumb
shame fur ter Spite two fammerlies
with sech as you'uns. Hop yer up,
Sid an Mirandy Ann, an les have ther
thing over / hain't goin' ter send yer
back ter Their Pint Unhappy"
The awkward but strangely we'll
mated couple according to old Hi
rams belief stood up as hidden, and the
questions were given and answered,
after which the Justice closed with his
usual Characteristic statement:
an ther name o. Their Lo'd Almighty,
L purnoupce you'uns man an woman.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-09-25

DANCE music is usually Substituting.
AN apron trust is threatened, and
all the young men want TO sit down
20 IL.
A MAN who owns a goat has only to
earn his bread; he has his butter Tor
nothing.
WHEN young married couple 60 out
boating the baby sometimes furnishes
the yawl.
WHEN n man gets to be grand
father he signs as he thinks how old
his wife is.
Dr.. SAMUEL JOHNSON must have
been New York policeman at some
period in his life; he used to say he
liked "clubable" man.
DUMBY-You say Miss Periodic look
ed beautiful in her bathing suit. What
sort of bathing suit was it 2" Mum
ley Stockings and style.
MAMMA, I'm afraid our dog is going
to have the hives 2" "What makes you
think so, Alfrida?" why, / saw him
cat two bees this afternoon"
A PoCKET-BooK made of rattlesnake
hide, which is SO repulsive to ladies
that they won't touch it, is having
quite sale among married men.
lMR. TAxPEND great statesman
Your old neighbor, Graball, is high up
In political circles now. Mr.. Taxpai-
Yes, have heard he belongs to the
rings.
Il like to wait on that man; he never
asks the price of anything, but just
takes what he fancies without any
quibbling." "Oh, price is no object to
him; he never settles his bills"
EASTERN Mani do business in
New York, but | live in the suburbs.
Do you live in the suburbs too? Chi
cago man-The suburbs of Chicago?
Great snakesl Do you take me for
frontiersman?
"YoU can't think how smart that dog
Is. You can say everything to him
exactly as you would to q man." "But
will he understand" ooh, I did not
say that. You mustn't ask too much OF
q dog. you know"
ARTISTIC FR1END-And so you are to
be married? Miss Marie Billlins
struggling artlSt)-1eS; IL Is simply
impossible to sell picture with such
name as Bilkins on it, and so have ac-
cepted the heart and hand of a grocery
clerk named De La Croix.
HANS" said one German to another
in the streets of Frankfort, what are
you crying about 2" Il am crying be-
cause the great Rothschild is dead"
was the reply. sand why should you
cry about that?" was the further
query. He was no relation of yours,
was hep" no" was the answer, half
smothered in sobs, mo relation at all,
and that's just what L am crying for. I"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-09-25

hair like full-grown aurora bcrealis,
and his little fat jaws were clothed
with stubby beard that pointed OBJ
durately in every known direction of
the compass. He wore an antiquated
straw hat, yellow with age and woe
fully fy-specked. His person was clad
IN /. coarse brown home-spun, that
looked as if il had done service as wear
ing apparel for a year at least. He
rode miserable raw-boned Texas
pony, its sides one mass of disfiguring
brands, the symbols of former and
various ownerships.
"Howdyl" was Hiram's greeting.
"Howdy!' returned the dumpy speic-
men of manhood on the sad-eyed
broncho. "Be you'uns Their ole man
what bitches fellers ter thar gals?"
Old Hiram laughed jovially. The
girl twitched nervously. The dumpy
man grinned broadly.
Il be ther man yer lookin' fur,
stranger, old Hiram replied rising
81 reckon L be, eff it's hitchin' ter run
in double harness fur Their rest o. yer
natural lives that you'uns be AFTER"
The dumpy fellow stole sheepish
look at the lady in green on the bob
tailed mule, and said:
"Thet's hit, Squire. We'uns hev
jest swum ther Kaw ter git you'uns ter
do ther hitchin'."
The old hounds slumber was broken
by the arrival of the candidates for the
nuptial honors. He did not even
growl at them. Like his master, such
episodes failed to stir the depths of his
surprise or resentment. He had long
been accustomed to accepting such ar
rivals as a matter of course. He now
stretched himself, and stepped forth
with all the canine dignity which the
occasion seemed to warrant, and eau
tiously smelled of horses and riders.
This act of courtesy on his part accom-
plished. he walked back to the door of
the cabin, stationed himself by the
Justices side, and intelligently seemed
to await the contamination of the holy
rites.
The Justice eyed for minute the
wet sides of the animals, which fully
corroborated the fellows assertion that
they had swum the Kaw to get there.
"Waal, light, then" he commanded
them, pleasantly, San tote yer critters
ter yon cottonwoods, an mosey inter
ther cabin"
Then, leaving them to obey his di-
rections, old Hiram entered his house
and made all necessary arrangements
for his guests from across the Kaw.
Finally they were all seated in the
cabin, and the old Justice proceeded to
make himself acquainted with the
would-be groom.
-Whar do you'uns hold fo'th ercross
Their Kaw, stranger?" old Hiram asked.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-09-25

and woman is moro or less concerned in It.,
according to her ways and means. Juvenile
participation in this occupation combining
pleasure and practically, is peculiar 10 US
Yankees The American girl Is the COM
panion OF her mother before she Is in her
teens, and is appealed 10 by her Tor advice
even in the all-lmportant matter OF dress.
III is no rare thing Tor child OF eight or
nine to calmly inform her mother that she
has ordered "a new ess for herself.
course OF training may not be calculated 10
add 10 the fascin nations OF the American
little girl German writer's impression
OF her is that she is little tyrant. autocrat
and self-willed 10 u degree. yet affectionate
enough. But with regard TO her maturer
accomplishments, useful and Otherwise,
he says: Il met vast number ofthem who
knew more trigonometry than ever L
learned. but not one Of them could sew on
a button or darn n stocking. even as well
as | can. They could repeat by rote. word
for word. all OF the complex formulas in
organic chemistry. but they knew not how
TO boil potato. Theoretically, they knew
that heat coagulates albumen, but not one
would know how TO cook an egg" Certain
IL is that she learns early how TO shop,
and she Is agreeably numerous in this au-
tumns throngs OF shoppers.
The winds of autumn are not inIrequently
taken into account by girls who dress them-
selves adroitly. Two examples were seen
on the lawn OF their residence the other
day. One had left her uncommonlv long
ana dDunuuuI mar IOOSc. never
of course not-that the wind would blow il
about. and practically turn her into a sort
of Circassian beauty for passers by TO adj
mire. Her costume is well worth pictur-
ing. because il embodies ideas that will
crop out frequently in the fashions of the
fall and winter. In this instance the cos
tune was made OF light striped wooden
stuff. trimmed with straps OF surah. which
wore fastened with buttons. The side pan
els and the sleeves were OF plain material.
A iauDty black cap OF nearly the Tam
O'Shanter pattern. with gray stockings and
gray gloves. completed the toilet Her COM
panion wore a combination Of gray surah.
draped diagonally and arranged with white
guipure. The knitted cap was dark navy
blue with white stripes. and her long silk
gloves were very dark blue.
Shoes Of other color than black are prop
erly called in from outdoor wear. but they
will be retained in household use TO a con-
siderable extent. Soft undressed kid in
grav and tan colors is much used for day
shoes and for slippers for the h ouse for all
times Of day or evening. Scalloped stripes
and tips of black patent leather trim rus
set-colored low shoes, and there are also
cool-looking white linen canvas shoes with
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-09-25
A Solemn Court.

ct stopped at an out-of-the-w way cabin
in Georgia, says the traveller, ito git er
drink of water. / noticed a number of
men, in short sleeves and wearing bed
tick suspenders, sitting under a tree.
They were gathered about pine table
upon which noticed several volumes
of patent Office reports. / did not
know that the assembly was one of
solemn ceremony until / asked for
drink of water. Then n gaunt man
with long neck and eyes that wore an
expression of dead set looked up and
said:
Air you from SIGH On uncivilized
country that You don't know how TO be-
have yourself when court is in SEES
sionY
Excuse me, answered, Il did not
know that this was court
But ii is, sah and / want you to
understand it. You have come up here
an throwd a chunk under the wheels
of jestice. A man is drawd up here on
trial fur his life
You don't mean TO say that this is
a court of such serious jurisdiction ?"
Yes, do mean to say it, and if you
even hint l don't I'll send you to Jail
for contempt
Pardon me; I do not mean to be
offensive
Good thing you don't; I'll tell you
that
May I ask why you are trying this
man?'
"'Yes; he stole set of pillow gear
But is that capital offense?'
81 don't know what sort of offense
you call a capital, but when man
steals gear in this community why that
settles it with him.
"Pardon me, but that isn't law
'Mout not be in uncivilized COM
munity, but it is here
Are you circuit judge?'
Worse than that; l am justice of
the peace
But under the law you have no au-
thority to sentence a man to death.
'Ha, you dispute my authority?
Mr.. Constable, arrest this man.
a man stepped forward and placed
his hand on my shoulder. You are
under arrest, said he. Try to git away,
and I'll hurt you
IL saw, by the determined faces
about me, that / was in a serious pre-
dicament. Gentlemen, said L, YOU
surely would not harm an innocent
man. You
THAT'S enough, the Judge broke in.
You have come along here and have
tried to overthrow our local self-gov-
eminent. Secession was q grave of
Tense, but nothing compared to this.
You have committed treason. Mr..
Constable, have you got roper
Il began to beg. / told them that I
was their friend. L said that would
do anything for them.
i am inclined to excuse your ignor-
ance, said the Judge but what assur-
ance can you give us-what proof that
you respect our local rights, generously
granted to us by the Constitution of the
United States 2
Gentlemen, 1 have nothing but
goodwill i
What have you got in your saddle
bags?'
Nothing but two quarts of whisky
that L bought for medicinal purposes
Bring it and give it 10 us as a
pledge of good faith
Il did so, and as l rode away L con-
graduated myself upon my escape.
Shortly afterwards, upon arriving at
village, told the story of my adven-
ture. The crowd in the postofiice
laughed. That is favorite joke of
those fellows man remarked. They
never fail TO get strangers whisky. ,"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-09-25
rhs two tollets shatched IN thIs para-

The two toilets sketched In this para
graph were adapted 10y their light-colored
materials for the warmer days OF autumn.
but in their shapes they illustrate fashions
that will prevail for indoor wear. especially
as TO the devices OF the bodices and the
fronts OF the skirts. To describe them ex-
actly as worn. one is an original and hand
some dress. arranged in a combination of
pongee. spotted with black. ana "A pale yell
low poncee. also spotted with black. Both
fabrics are crossed. AS designed. The very
deep ceinture corslet and the undergown
are in striped black and pale gray iaille.
The polichinelle hat is arranged TO match.
with black string. The other girl wears
pongee loosely pleated gown. Dordered with
pleated white gauze cascades as designed.
the revers being in sulphur and moss-green
striped surah; gray gauze crossed tchu
spangled with black. and a black silk ribbon
ceinture. She also wears a lace hat. with
white feathers and gray gloves. Fem
mime readers may wisely adapt these two
gowns TO the darker and heavier fabrics
OF cold weather. or else make them up in
thin goods for indoor occasions of careful
dress. The hats are shapes that Will be
seen frequently in black velvet with plumes.
i lately heard it said of 9 pretty but
affected girl that she Shook hands baily."
and l was much amused by this recognition
OF Misunderstanding as an art 10 excel or fail in.
Most o. us are very quickly impressed
favorably or the reverse-bv persons
manner OF performing this salutation; but
instead OF being criticised or commented
on. IL seems generally to be tacitly accepted
as n thing which. like personal appearance.
is beyond our own control. IL the hand
clasp were truly such an indication Of char
acter as at first sight. or rather first touch.
il seems 10 be. IL would he n nifty. l think.
TO apply schooling 10 it, and thus add one
more 10 the many insinceriiies OF life. II
is quite probable. however that in nine
cases out of ten the inference we draw from
IL may be totally wrong. The limp, flabby
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-09-25

blue ribbon, of sash width, was awk-
wardly knotted around her thin neck,
and was fastened TO her emerald gown
in front 10y a red and blue glass brooch
rs large as silver dollar OF all other
ornaments her odd costume was guilt
less. She was gloveless, and her hands
were almost as large and coarse as
those of the Justice.
The companion of this very attrac-
stive maiden was littly, dumpy man
OF about thirty. lie was black-eyed,
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-09-25
All. ME! OH. MET
A maiden sweet and far.

A maiden sweet and fair,
All. met
With wealth Of golden hair.
All me.
And ewes 30 shining bright,
g. Like stars at darkest night,
All me-
Ono so diVinely fair
- Should know no WAIT nor care;
A SEQ I'm hor dear eyes
IN auyel I'm disgui-o.
All, Inc
But che lifted me,
o. mel
She Tilted me,
All mel
What foolish words said,
All mel
"a Her hair, knew, was red; =.
All, me-
And eyes so dull and cold,
SO wIfnkled, faded, old;
- All, mel
Her lot should be TO rub
And wash and sweep and scrub;
i see. Nth mB OlOn eyes,
A devil in disguise.
All, me
For she's Tilted me,
You see;
Shes Tilted me.
All. mel
American Commercial Traveller.