The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1889-11-14
MATRIMONIAL HARNESS.
Bill Arp Tells How 1t Works-some Raey
"Reminiscences of Old Time
Fashions.
From the Sunny South.

AL, LueSe WOllleIi, tuSSe HOlueu.
They make me so tired. But it is a
sweet service. Here I've been working
in the harness for forty years and I
don't reckon I would be happy if the
harness was off. I know I wouldent,
for sometimes when Mrs. Arp goes off
to spend the day I don't feel natural
about the house. want somebody to
order me around in a sweet feminine
way. civilian, that stick that was
between the sash has fallen out and is
down there on the ground. Don't you
feel the cold air coming in ?" "William,
the clock needs cleaning very bad. 1t
stopped twice yesterday. Hadent you
better take it down to Mr.. Bakers ?'
"William, wish you would get a little
paint and give the old mantiepiece a
coat. You have scraped so many
matches on it to light your old pipe
that it is sight. A little can Of pre-
pared paint won't cost much. And
that old CRATE needs coat of polish.
Oh, I did see some of the loveliest
CRATES down at the Exposition and
these tiles for hearths were exquisite.
I don't mean for you to buy any but
I'm just telling you. Somehow when
ever I tell you about the beautiful
things I see, you look like you dident
have friend in the world. OF course
I don't mean that I want you to buy
them. William, what am I to do with
the flowers? The geraniums and ver-
benas and all the potted plants. The
winter is coming on and do wish we
had little pit somewhere. It will be
a pity to lose them. Hattie has had
pit dug and says it didn't cost but two
dollars, and she is going to cover it
with a cloth frame" "Sam Pitts digs
pits" she continued. 'Sam Pitts digs
pits" said I, and so I sent for Uncle
Sam and marked off the place six by
ten and squared it according to rule
and he had been digging fo7 a few min
utes when Mrs. Arp raised the window
and said she thought it was little too
far that way and so I moved the marks
a couple of feet and began digging
again. In a little while she came out
and said 1t was too far this way and 80
I moved it back where it was at first,
and she said that it was about right
now. She think that split the differ
ence but didn't. The next day she
asked noe in a gentle voice how much
a brick wall around the top would cost,
q brick wall about three feet high on:
one side and foot high on the other.
"And sash with glass for cover" said
I, for knew she was thinking about
it. She smiled sweetly and said Eyes"
I scratched match on the mantle and
lit my pipe and ruminated. That was
yesterday. Mr.. White is making the
sash to-day, and the brick mason is
building the wall and I am still in har-
ness. Alex. Stevens said he wanted to
die in harness, and be did but he never
knew anything about matrimonial
breeching or he would have wanted to
live and not die at all. What would
become of man if he didn't have
woman to keep him lively. When we
were in Atlanta the other day my wife
asked me for five dollars to buy pair
of shoes. "Have shoes gone up," said
I as I handed her the money. mo,
but have" she said, II want fine
pair, shoes that are as soft as glove kid;
you owe ME lots of shoe money, you
promised me before we were married
that you would give me thirteen pair
a year, don't you remember" eyes,"
said I, land you have had them, and
more too" How can a woman raise
ten children on less than thirteen pair
q year. But would have promised
you anything then; would have
climed the Chimborazo mountains and
fought tiger for you then-a small
tiger; but I would fight big one now.
Here, take another five and buy you
some fine stockings to go with the
shoes-but don't buy black ones; I
despise to see a white woman wear
black stockings. 1t is like heather
Chinee blacking her teeth. I wish I
had the making of the fashions. I see
that bustles have gone out at last and I
am glad of it. Inever did like those
unnatural humps on woman's back.
They have been in and out @ dozen
times since I was boy, and so have
It is funny to see a new
fashion come in and go out. There are
women in my town still wearing
bustles. They feel sorter shamed to
leave them off all Of sudden. But
they will fall into line and slim down
before long. They have done slimmed
at my house; they keep up pretty well.
saw lots Of nice ladies at the fair who
were behind and so were their bustles;
but they were from the country and
little towns and hadn't caught up. 1t
is good deal Of trouble to alter
hustle dress to no hustle dress, and all
the mysterious garments underneath
have to be altered, too, and that is why
it takes o fashion 80 long to run out; it
costs money and work. Now if the
ladies will cut off about four inches Of
their skirts and keep out of the winters
mud, they will be all right. Let them
show their ankles if they want to.
There is nothing prettier than the poe
try Of motion that is in lady's foot
and ankle when she walks. 1t pleases
an old man nightly.
But the men have passed through