The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-10-24
WIT AND HUMOR.

TIE first match made in heaven was
Lucifer.-Puc6.
Children cry for the moon. Men
want the earth.-B0st0n Courier.
A man doesn't feel in the least iniat-
ed when blown up by his wife.-Boston
Courier.
He that winketh with his eye should
take heed lest he be slowed.
Free Press.
If we could use our own good ad-
vice how happy we would be.-Atcht-
son Globe.
Apollo was stickler for the code Of
honor. 1t was he who first struck the
lvre. -NerchdRt 1rdCeter.
Brewster-That young fellow seems
to know more than you do. Barclay
No wonder. I'm his father.-LJe.
Quite naturally it is the man of sea-
soned intellect and ripe experience
who does not seem fresh. phantom
Republican.
The ticker" is great moral in
strument, and must not be suppressed.
1t transforms gambling into "busi-
ness. Puck.
We take no stock in the rumor that
the new secretary has ordered lot OF
navy plugs to stop the leaks in our
war vessels. -PucE.
The snakes man sees when he is
wrestling with a severe attack of de-
lirium tremenS are not "watern snake.
This is reliable. -NorriSt0Un Herald.
There is a good deal of humor writ
ten on the subject of marriage; but
after all matrimonial matches should
not be made light cf.-BoSton Courier.
Briggs-I haven't taken drink for
two weeks, now. What do you think
of that? Braggs-It sounds to me
like an empty boast.-1erre Haute En-
press.
Mother-Ella, you cannot marry
| him. He has no money. Ella-Why,
mother, saw him give IS to beggar.
| Enthusiastically an accomplice.
| Boston Herald.
Esau sold his birthright for mess
| of pottage and left Jacobs establish
ment dead broke. If there had been 3
waiter to fee he'd have gone out in
| debt -Puc6.
Great wit to madness nearly is
allied" but if you would see perfect
union just observe the madness of the
small wit as he reads, declined with
thanks. "-Pact.
Have you cigar about you?n
mo; | don't buy any now" "What!
And why, then?'' Because | want to
break you of the habit of smoking.'-
FIiege,ade Blatter.
No matter how timid tailor is nat
urally, he has one advantage as a woo
or over other men-he can always
warmly and etfectually press his suit
Baltimore american.
1t is well for philosophical medita-
tons to include the fact that in all or
| ganic existence the largest amount of
wIud produces the heaviest swells.-
Baltimore american.
In the bookstore-''Yo are looki o
for novels or for poems-perhaps
| Goethe or Schiller?r "Oh, no poems.
My son writes them every day at
home. h-F2tegende Batter.
There are almost as many officeseek-
ers as there are amateur photographers
in the United States, but the Office
seekers can't take negative like the
photographers do Washington Critic.
There are nice little pretty green
GASES all through the desert of life,
but the fat man who breaks a suspen-
| der while running to catch a train
can't be persuaded of this.-Boston
Courier.
Blinks-''Where are you going on
your vacation, Jinks?" links (whose
place has just been seized by the Sher-
if)-Jail, [ guess. First vacation I've
had in nine years. PhiiGdeiphia In
| qutrer.
My DEAR" said Mr.. Phunnvman,
"why is The Prince of Wees a geo.
graphical paradox give it up"
"Why, because he is allowed so much
latitude that he is without parallel"
-Philadelphja Press.
There is one place l would like
suggested he, timidly. eff the posi-
ton of vacation editor is now vacant l
think | could fill that place to your
satisfaction, and steady employment
rather than high pay would be my
choice. '-NeU York Herald.
Mr.. Societe (who has Just been pre-
scented to bevy of young ladies)-
Pardon me. but with so many names l
am quite at sea regarding yours. She
But you are not far wrong. | am
Miss water.-Harper' Basar.
Dude to doctor-''Anything serious
wrong with me. doctor?n Doctor.
slowl y-"Y our condition is serious,
but not necessarily fatal. l have dis
covered evidences of growth of
| brains. Philddelphil I0uirer