davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-29

Guest-You seem musical. / always
hear you whistlng. What is your favorite
song Waiter-Remember me- sab He
got "A quarter
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-29

A Franklin Pa, woman means business.
She advertises ina paper that If any one
attempts TO break into her house his brains,
If he has any, Will be blown out.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-29
SNORT Snlan

Illustrated pamphlet sport among Ne
braska lakes mailed free Apply to y. ).
Eustis, General Passenger agent, Burling-
ton route, Chicago ILL.,,
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-29

Children as expert musicians are coming
to be the wonder Of the profession. Alice
Lehman, aged nine, is astonishing Lon
don critics with her skill on the violin.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-29

The Medical and Surgic i Sanitarium at
Battle Creek is about 10 establish like in
stitution at Colorado Springs or at Denver,
Col
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-29

A swallow tail coat may be just the proper
thing for the bridegroom at q fashionable
wedding, but for an elopement there 10
nothing like cut AWAY
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-29

Elk convict Johnson, who sued Warden
Watkins of Ionia, says that his attorney
took the case on the percentage plan.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-29

Dr. Pierce's Pellets, ono a dose. Cure
headache, constipation and indigestion.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-29

There's one peculiar thing about horse
race. You can pick the winners right along
until you conclude TO put up your money.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-29

Zoe Cigar in quality, but only &c. cglr in prize IS
"Tansills Punch.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-11-29
A sc. SO Paper for S1.75.

Isaac Lewis, veteran business man Of
Monroe, is dead.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03
a horseshoe for Luck.
Fr0m the Detrott ~ Press


There is a house in this city which has had q
diminutive horseshoe over it's Intel for several
months. but at tnis writing it is no lon GER
there There was party at the house a fe y
nights ago aud the host was talking with one
his wfe's friends about superstition
1T IS too rldicu Gus, he said. Now THERE'S
the fashion of hanging a horseshoe over the
door never would permit any such non
sense"
But, my dear sir, you have one over vour
door at this very moment" rejoined the guest
Il beg your pardon, but am certain there is
nothing OF the kind.
For an answer the lady led the way to the
door and pointed out the good-luck token.
There! she said triumphanty You see [
was right"
But the man of the house went off into q fit
of laughter that brought the rest of the com
pany to the door His wife asked him to ex
plain.
Where did you get that thing?" he asked
pointing to an object hung up by blue ribbon
over the door. 1T isn't q horseshoe. " and he
laughed harder than ever
i know it. answered his wife Its a
mules shoe, but il has just as much luck in it.
You see, 1t isn't nearly as large as horse
shoe"
"On-oh-oh," said her husband, holding his
sides, land you hung it up for uck9 WhE, il is
one of my last winters ice taps. I wore them
on my heels to keep from slipping. Mules
shoe, that's too good, " and ne laughed again
although this time the laugh was decidedly
against himself
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03
Tampa's knterprise.

Tampa is displaying great deal of en-
terprise. Indeed, it is not too much to say
that she is the most enterprising town in
Florida She is ambitious to become a
great port. She has advantages for be-
coming snch port, and she is trying to
make the most Of them.
Her aim now is to become the head
quarters of the trade between this country
and Central aud South America. s 10 also
wants direct communication with the great
west by way Of Chicago
Sixteen members of the Chicago Board
of Trade are now in Tampa with the view
OF judging of her prospec and adva tages.
They cannot be oh rwiSe than favorably
i'm reased. Tampa has grown wonderfully
within very few years. She will soon
have one of the largest and most magnifi-
cent hotels in tue world. She has many
factories and the prospect of many more.
She wants Chicago to help her get a
100000 subsidy for line of steamers to
South American countries, aud also help
her open up direct rail communication not
only with that city, but with others in the
west, for the distribution of Florida prod
ucts, and also Central and South Ameri-
can products, when the line of steamers to
the southern countries shall be established.
OF course Chicago will help her, and with
Cnicagos help 1t will be rather remarkable
if she does not get what she wants.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03
SAVANNAH OF TO-DAY.
The Morning News Annual Trade Review
A Few Pointers in Relation Thereto

The MORNING NEWS Annual Trade Re
view, containing a complete and compre-
heusive statement of the business Of Savan-
nah, will be issued early in September.
The year ending Sept. l, 1899, will be a
memorable one the history of Savannah,
and the MORNING News proposes to give
the widest publicity to what Savannah has
dono, is doing and proposes to do in the
near future. There is no better way in
which Che outside world can be informed of
what is going on in a community than
through the columns of its newspapers
The MORNING News ia its forthcoming
Trade Review will show by facts and
figures that Savannah is one of the most
progressive and healthy cities in the union,
and that her citizens, judging from what
they have done during the last year, are
fully alive to the great ess of her future.
They have proven by the various local i'm.
provements they have made, and by the
active interest they have manifested in
they are not afraid to invest their money
within her limits. They have demonstrated
beyond all doubt that they have confidence
in her great natural advantages, and that
they believe that her deep water harbor
and her great railroad systems will, in a
few years, make her the greatest seaport
city in the south.
The MORNING News will, in its Trade
Review, present to the wor Savannah of
to-day" IN a resume of what has hereto
fore appeared in its columns. The review
will be in such shape that, at a
glance it will be seen what has
been accomplished during the year.
The Trade Review will contain articles
showing the bu-iness of the city during the
year and present indisputable facts which
promise steadily increasing prosperity.
1t will establish the fact that there is no
healthier city in the south and none more
pleasant in which to live and do business
either in summer or winter. 1t will
prove by figures that Savannah is
without rival on the South Atlantic
coast, and that by their acts her citizens
show that they are satisfied that she is
only at the beginning of her commercial
greatness.
The Trade Review will be printed in the
usual form, and viii be a newspaper which
those who feel pride in their city will
take pleasure in sending to their friends.
1t will afford business me an opportun-
ity of saying something about their business
ana themselves. 1t is hoped that in size, as
well as in other respects, it will sur ass
every previous edition. That, however,
depends entirely upon the orders it re-
ceives from advertisers.
1t is desired to distribute $4,000 copies,
and that number will be distributed, if the
response of the business men is as prompt
and liberal as We have reason to believe 1t
will be.
Orders for advertising or for copies of
the paper can be handed in at the business
Office, or, if desired they will be called for
by the canvassers.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03
When Marriaee is q Failure.

When there is too much latchkey.
When dinner is not ready at dinner time
Whenthe watchwOrd is Each for himself"
When either OF the parties marries for money
When neither husband nor wife takes a vaca
ton
When children are obliged to clamor for their
rights.
When ''he" SHORES the loudest while ''she
kindies the fire.
When the vacations are taken by one side of
the house only.
When the children are given the neck and the
back OF the chicken
Mhen the man attempts to tell his wife what
style OF bonnet she must wear.
When one OF the parties engages in a business
that is not approved by the other
When mans Christmas presents to his wife
consist of bOotjacks, shirts and gloves for him
self -'-1-
When politeness, fine manners aud kindly
attentions are reserved for company or visits
abroad.
When the money that should 90 for book
goes for what only one side of the house knows
anything about.
When 10th parties persist in arguing over a
SUBJECT upon which they never have and never
can think alike.
When the lord of creation pays more for
cigars than his better half does for hosiery, boots
and bonnets
When father takes half of the pie and
leaves the other half for the one that made it
and her eig4t children.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03
Admiration Onnosed.


Representative Gordon gave the proPo-
sition to arbitrate the claim Of the Western
and Atlantic lessees for betterments a black
eye on Thursday during the discussion Of the
bill providing the lease of that road.
The MORNING News has all along asserted
that it would be mistake on the part OF
the state 20 agree TO an arbitration Of this
claim for betteTments, and it is glad 70 find
itself supported by so strong a member q
the legislature. The state has not vet ad-
mitted that there was anything to arbtrate.
and 1t is by no means certain that it will.
But if the Iessees have claim for anything,
the legislature is as capable Of passing
upon it as a board of arbitration.
Capt. Gordon points out very clearly that
If an arbitration board we're appointed the
amount allowed the Iessees would be fixed
virtually by one man. The representatives
of the lessees would declare the lessses we're
entitled TO a very large amount, and the
representatives of the state would fix the
states liability at a very small amount.
The man chosen by the two interests, not
knowing what better to DO, woull doubtless
give the lessees about half the amount they
claimed. That would not be a just settle
ment, hut it is about the only one that
would be obtained from board of arbitra-
ton.
According to Capt. Gordon's statement
the value Of the betterments, TO which the
lessees have any shadow of claim, is not
great OF course the lessees pretend
that in justice they ought to be- paid a very
large sum, but when asked what part of the
improvements they think they could law
fully remove their claim dwlndles to very
small proportions
1t is doubtful if anybody believes that
when the lease was made the ;ees ex-
pected 10 be paid for betterments al the
end Of their lease. The fact that nothing
is said about betterments in the lease,
although the road, when leased, was not in
the best condition, and it was apparent that
during the period of the lease a vast amount
OF improvements would have to be put upon
1t, indicate quite clearly that the state did
not expect t. pay for betterments and that
the lessees did not expect payment.
The question of betterments was not
raised when the lease was IN de, because it
was undoubtedly understood ! at whatever
improvements tle lessees found it necessary
to make would, at the end of the lease, be-
long to the state. 1t was tacitly admitted
that no more improvements would be made
than were absolutely necessary to meet he
requirements of the roal. Doubtless
there we're other parties who would have
leased the road at the time the present les
sees secured it, and would have mad. ali
necessary improvements without compeusa-
ton. There is therefore no equity in the
present demand for compensatio for better
ments. A onparatvely small rem al was
accepted for the road because. doubt ess, it
was understood that the road was greatly
in need OF improvements, and that what
the state sacrificed in rent would be made
up in permanent improvements
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03
One of Marshall WiIder's Yarns.

From the Bost1n transcripts Ve,e York Letter
met that thoroughly good-natured little
teliow, Marshall Wilder in the Office Of bis
publisher, the other day. He had Just got bach
from Europe aud dropped in to t4ll Mr.. Dun
Ia N, OF Cassell & Co, how delighted he wa
with the success of his book. People Hav,
Smiled With" Everybody likes Wilder, possibly
because Wilder likes everybody. His pluck in
lighting the world. handicapped as he is i,
only second 10 his amiabiiity in taking his hard
fate so cheerfully. The little man had had a
grand time hobnobbing with the mobility anG
gentry of England, and he was full Of good
stories. One OF them l venture TO repeat,
A bowery boy met oowery girl of his &C
quaintancH strolling along their favorite thor
oughfare one hot evening in July. Lie, said
be, are yer dry?'
Yes, she replied dry as al amply jug"
Have er drn -
Yes, don't care if do"
'What'll yer hayey'
'Wei,-I Guess-I guess III have cham
payne"
Par he said, guess again.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03
His huse to Dodge the Devil.

FROM me 81 LOUIS GtObe- DenlOCrQt.
Col. John Ely, formerly of Pike county, Mis-
souri,, now a North Dakota stockman was u
democratic member of the Dakota legislature
three OF fodr years ago lie fell desperately i'll
during the session and was having a rather
rough time, with only such attention as Tom
Edison and other weIl-mealing but uuskiled
friends could give him. Edison walked in one
day and asked:
We'll, John, how are you getting on?"
-. Poorly, mighty poorly Tom. I'm afraid
m going to die, ' sal Ely
Il don't know but you will, " replied Edison.
You look awful bad, john"
Il know it, know it, " said Ely. And in @
rev moments he added: Tom, there's one
thing want you to do for me if l die,
WHATS that asked Edison. in a sympa
thetic toae, getting ready to receive death bed
commission.
Tom" said Ely, If die want you to sec
ground.
,,',Wha-wha--what that tor?" calculated
Edison.
Because" said Ely, without break in his
solemn manner. because the devil will never
think of looking for democrat among the
NOrWegians"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03
Standing by the Family.
Ern1l, Tie Nelr YnrL. T,.ih,,,,

Good evening, sir, said a man with white
porcelain buttons on his coat, as he politely re-
moved olack straw hat with both hands II,
was coming dnwn the front stems of a Madison
avenue house and had encountered the Owner
going mp. Il have just been readu' your door
plate Doorpiates of The best fam lies are the
only liz ratoor peruse now. l d not care fer
grocery signs and bill boards. The one sir j,
mediocre, while find the other bombastic An
stilte . My fav rite readin' is the engraved
doOrplateS Of our first citizens. DiSionted an
fragmentary, sir, but satisfactory to one of cul-
tivated tastes
Yes, answered the gentleman, suspiciouslv
Your name, learn" went on the student of
do0rpate literature, lis Wo dford Nv own
humble NAM is also Woodford There are many
Woolt rdS, sir; IL is hardly likely, sir that we
are any relation"
Il s6oulu be inclined to think not" said the
other as ne shifted the air still more suspicously
and went up two steps higher.
Proc ly no near relation at least sir Nv Ov-r,
fam ~ is of English descent-my gran father
was a Kentsh man. sir. Very likely your branch
might be Irish or mebby Welsh. You amt got
the kentSh nose, sir.
Evidently not if you have. What is your oh
lect IL lie aiming me?'
simply this, sir. Your name is Wo1dford
my own hdIuble cognomen is also Woodford
w may be no relation, but l take an interest in
anybody bearing my name. You are in Wall
street. an to-day you are maxim money with
botI hands-to-morrer you may be fat on Jour
back. II you ever get down remember YOU
have friend 10 Morgan WoCdford who Will a.-
sist you T. the extent of his humble capacity
for the name you bear. If you ever need beln
remember that letter sent to NJ Woodford
Esq, Mulberry court. Bayard street, will reach
me. SHOULD 1 be Temporarily on tne-er-
should l be absent friends will forV.a rd the
communication. Good evening. MIR. Wood.
ford
"One moment" said the Madison avenne
Woodford. I trust you would not be insulted
should ! offer YOU the temporary loan of 5O
cents aud ne advanced half dollar toward
the other.
Sir, your kindness overpowers me. You be-
long t. our branch Of tue family after all
accept the coin, to be returned to-morrow-no not
later DO not forget me if you ever find your
self doored. Remember that a true Woodford
never fOrgetS another Woodford
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03

The MORNING News is on file at the following
places where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained:
NEW YORK CITY
J. H. BATES, 3s PARK Row.
g. p. ROwEIL & Co. 10 SPRUCE street.
W. W. SHARP & Co. p Park Row.
PRANK kIERNAN & Co., l52 Broadway.
DAUcHY Co., q Park Place.
J. W. THOMPSON. 50 Park Row.
john r. PHILLIPS & Co, % Park Row,
American NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION,
104 Temple Court.
PHILADELPHIA
n. W. AVER & Son. Times Building
BOSTON
s. r. NILES, 256 Washington street.
PETTENGIIL & Co., 10 state street.
CHICAGO
LORD 8 THOMAS, Is Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
EDWIN ALDEN COMPANY, Go West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN
The H. p HuBBARD COMPANY, 25 Elm street.
ST LOUIS
NELSON CHEssAN & Co., 1927 Pine street.
ATLANTA
MoRNING NEWS BUREAU, 316 Whitehall street.
MACON
DAILY TELEGRAPH OFFICE, 597 Mulberry street.
JACKSONVIi lie
MORNING News BEFEAu. Hubbard's Block.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03

A fully framed constitution was presented
to the NORTH Dakota constitutional cpnven-
ton the other day, and it was so satisfac-
tory that many of the delegates favored
adopting it at once. The story was started
that Senator Evarts, of New York, was the
author of it, and that some wealthy land
owners in Dakota had paid him 5000 for
his services. The alleged reason why they
took so much interest in having a constitu-
ton drawn up was that they wanted to have
clause adopted that would be favorable TO
them as land owners. Tho interesting part
of the story is that Senator Evarts declares
that he has not even been consulted about
constitution for North Oak TIA, or anv
other e Of tie proposed new states. II l.
remarkable how reports like this one get
into circulation.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03
BRIGHT BITS.

GOING OUT SHOPPING WITH THE wEARER,
The bustes going out" We hear
This said from day to day.
II Is no more 10 form part
VI feminine array.
1.-THE bustes going out" but still
The bustls lads, wear
Inc classic style of dressing finds
Small favor with the fair.
Tue bustie's going OUT" perhaps
The statement may b. true
But when the buStle's going out
The wearer's going too
lie CHI istian at Work
MY DEAR said a dying husband, do you
tnlnS you VIII marry again when am gomez
uon know, joan, replied the lady with a
burst OF tears. Il haven't gwen the matter
niue thought as yet '-TerdS SjftuIQs.
WHAT she liked: "what doyou like the best -
SAID Mr. Dify Dent to his girl as they stood to-
gether at the soda counter
"Oh, Ike ginger aie!' she answered: "and
champagne. Anything at-that-that--''
she didn't finish, but she blusbed; and Diffy
popped tnat mig nt.-PIct.
Why are you SO bitter toward her? Didn't
she return your love?"
Well, no; not exactly. But I didn't mind
that. If she'd only returned that diamond
ave her could forgive all. But she returned
me ring with the diamond taken out-that was
too mucn, too much Session Post
TRAMP-T ankeA, kindly, mum; I'd no hope
OF Yett 10 "'ch fine supper to-day, mum. May
heaven bless ye!"
t4ou-e"o. pet-As you've had good supper, l
tIlnk you might chop some wood
Y IS, mum; but you know the old adage AT
ter dinner rest a while; after supper walk a
mile. I'll walk the mile first, mum. "-NeU
York Weekly
A TERRIBLE WARNGNG.-Pastor preaching a
funeral sermon)-The fate of the unfortul ate
woman whose mortal remains lie before ms
should be warniog to all fashionable young
ladies'. She died from the baneful effects OF
hair dye.
Kentucky Citizen who happened to be in the
CONGREGATION, shaking his heal solemnly)-
That S so. It's always best to look at tn. label
before drinking California Whistler.
MRS Pam Good morning, Tommy Did
your mother send you in?
Tommy taged eiEht)-No'm I Thought 7
would like to make call
mrs. Prlm-IhatsYery nice, am sure But
you musn t be baSafui on your first call Can't
you Use your eyes from the carpet?
Iommy-Oh, I'm not basnful; but mother
says your carpet is so ugly it makes her sick to
look at It and thought | would come in and try
1t myself. Commercial. Bulletin.
MRS PHUNNYMAN docking up from her paper
see that the green nudge and the Hess an
NY are dong great damage out west
Mr.. PhunnymanLOur revolutionary sires are
are partly responsible for that.
Mrs. P.--Rubbshl What are you talking
about?
Mr.. Pact! Didn't they make the Hessian
Phdcdeiphtd Pres.
Papa what do they mean when they sneak
of the reverse side of a lin?'
The reverse side of a coin" said the old
gentleman, without looking up from his paper,
are tossing up with the hotel clerk. Merchant
TrdUeler
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-08-03
INDEX TO new ADVERTISEMENTS

MEETSGs.-Chatham Dime Savings Bank
Stockholders; Isle of Hope Yacht Club.
SPECIAL NoTlCEs-Fresn supply Heidt's Fine
Confectionery; Reliable Drugs Etc, at Heidi !;
Interesting Items, J. J. Reilly, Importer aud
Specialist.
EOucATIoNAL-Newberry College, Eewberry,
S. c.
STEAMSHIP ScHEDULE-Ocean Steamship Com
pany.
MEDIcAL-Swift's Specific.
New SOUTH STovE-Cornwell & Chapman.
INSURANCE STATEMENT Sem-Annu State
ment of the Maryland Life Insurance Company.
CHEAP COLUMN ADvERusEMENrs
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Personal; Miscellaneous.