Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-01-10
Neiehhorly Condolences.

Neighborly condolences seem almost
as lntuitiye to woman as does the be-
lief In future state to the race.
1t is so natural, when overcome with
grief or exalted with joy. to breathe
the sad or happy secret into the ear of
friendly neighbor, and the trivial,
everyday occurrences, too, are quite as
apt to be freely confided.
Possibly no harm may ever follow
this but let there come the slightest
rupture in your friendship and all the
secrets that you believe to be deeply
buried Tin a friends hearty will spring
up like grass after an early rain. says
the Ladies Home Journal Soon every
one knows that your handsome ward
robe is but the cast-off garments of
wealthy aunt; that your husband is
so close as to your pin money that you
do fancy-wOrk for a house down town;
that potatoes cooked, save in certain
way, Immediately produce .sjar," ETC.
With some, one such notifying ex-
perience will prove sufficient warn
ing. Others will learn nothing. They
simply solace themselves by expatiat-
ing to neighbor B. on the perfidy of
neighbor A. Later to neighbor C. on
neighbor B., and so on down through
the alphabet. In the meantime their
disaffectiOn with neighbor A. has
healed and friendly relations are re-
sumed. Then follows another anus
ing waltz and tilt through the alpha
bet of neighbors.
Such ridiculous happenings natural
~ induce passionate views regarding
neighborly condolences; and they
should be INDUCED in with caution.
Menuet has said, Friends are like
melons, to find one good you must a
hundred try" and the Chinese maxim,
ssThere are plenty of acquaintance,
but few real friends" seem to confirm
this thought.
But these facts should not produce a
wholesale cynicism and reserve regard
ing neighbors; for in them are often
found as true and tried friends as one
could wish, but they should teach us
to study and analyze character-to
know if back of the pleasing, friendly
manner there exists integrity of heart
and fair measure of common sense.
This latter element of itself should
be sufficient to keep us from repeating
the little condolences that neighbor
has-perhaps in an unwary moment
contided to us, even though she did not
label such ga secret"
Ii a nelghbOr shows her false heart
by revealing to you things confded to
her-no matter if she does say, 81 know
you won't tell''-don't trust her. You
may be sure ssdog that will bring
bone will take bone"
Persons living together, or in close
proximity, need to be especially care
full lest an undue intimacy result dis
astrously. Be chary of those whom
you admit through your ''back door,
think how this or that would sound
if repeated before giving it wings.
A Spanish proverb says: Measure
your cloth twice, for you can cut it
but once" so it would be wise for all,
and especially the naturally impulsive
and communicative, to reflect twice
before bestowing their condolences,
for, once breathed, they are beyond
recall.
But, thank God, there are friends in
whom we may trust! Life would be a
blank if all the inner and deeper emo
tions of our hearts, together with the
lighter and more trif1ing experiences
of our everyday life, must be hermetic-
ally sealed in our own bosoms; but
none are doomed to such fate Only
let us choose with care and then con-
tide with caution.