Connecticut western news., 1889-10-09
FUN.

haW TOT the OySCer.-BOSton deralu The race question-''How much did you dropT-Minneapolis Tribune. Swell thing in hats-Head after nights 'srelaxation." ."-Chicago Mail.
 A hero is man who refrains from eating things that do not agree with him.-Atchison Globe. Next to Rider Haggard's hot pot Q jack pot is one of the warnest things known to oman.-Washington Capital.
 The highest grade of imprudence- To wait in an umbrella shop for a shower to pass over. - Fliegende Blaetter.
 Carpet salesman sYes'm, that's genuine Brussels, made at Brussels by MT. Brussels himself. ."-Rochcster Budget.
 Signs of genius--ssQuite 'markable, M'lindy, how dat chile do take to them shears. He am nach'ral born editor, | Sudn. lIuc.
 The icemen are often made the sub ject of jokes. But the iceman is no joke now. He is sending in his bills. Boston Courier.
 On Their Wedding Journey She -"This is Minerva" .He-"Was shc married?" She-"No, she was the Goddess of Wisdom. Life. ssMeet me on the corner tonite," he wrote, 'sand dew not fale." And she answered him, stThere is no such word as 'fale. '"--Lawrence American. A Family Trait-Fond Mother ssSee the darling drink!" Visitor "Yes, indeed, the little cunningl How much he resembles his !"-Tme.
 A Pennsylvania woman has worked on crazy quilt all day for thirteen years. The quilt is not quite crazy, but she is.-Lawrence American.
 He had been there: Binks-'sMiss Sweet is bouncing girl, isn't she?" Jinks-"Yes; but her father is moro inclined that ."-Lawrence Amer ican.
 Policeman-''Do you have to take care of the dog?" Nurse girl-"No. The missus says Pm too young and inexperienced. only look after the children.''-Life.
 No dude: Chawley-s'I say, chap pie" Freddie-sChawles, pleathe don't call me chappie, old boy, people might think wathe dude, don't ye know. ."-Yankee Blade.
 Servant maid" Madam, the doc tor" Lady (who is having delight full call from neighbor)-''It is inn possible to receive him now. Say that I am illl'-San Francisco Wasp.
 There may not be any such thing as the elixir of life, but the youth thinks he has found something very near it when he kisses the girl he loves for the uISC UlUuc.-DOSIOA SOuIloIs
 It Suited Her-He-ssT -ssTalking about names, I wish I could get mine changed. think it is too ugly for anything" She enthusiastically ssOh, I don't; think it is just lovely" -Tid-Bits.
 Life's Recompenses-Little Sister ssMa wants you, Sammy. Where've you been?" Sammy--'.Fishin Little Sister-ssDid you catch any thing?" Sammy (sadly)-"Nothin' t all." Little Sister (reassnringly)- "Oh, but you will when you get home." Cleveland Leader.
 Hunter-''Did you see wolf and pack of dogs pass this wayp" Far mer-ssThat's what; and gee whiz, want they going thought" Hunter "That's good; how were they making it?" Farmer-"When they passed here the dogs were little ahead."- American Field.
 In Western Bank.-"Whoo-oopl Here I am, Broncho Bill, Terror of Bloody Gulch. You cashier, fill me up with gold or I'll blow your head off," "Aw-verwy sorry," returned the cashier, promptly producing his six-shooter, ''but the fact is, gold is short this mornin, and Pve nothing but lead. I'll fill you up with that if you like. ."-Munsey's Weekley.