Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-11-22
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A TlqrlNa tribute The check that
pays fer your suit Of clothes.
IRIS odd how mach food horse can
go without and still he no faster,
A ceoo many people with Lock on
the Understanding seem to have lost
the key.
III is the skirt Of a ladvs ball dress
shat costs: the corsage doesn't come
high.
HE-Do you believe in marrying for
money, Miss Antique? She--I don't
know; how much have you got!
BUSINESS BEFORE PLEAsuRE-A hen.
pecked husband kissing his wife pre-
vious to asking her permission to go to
the club.
WHERE shall I find panel?" said
the sheriff to the Judge. why, 1
guess you can get enough panels out of
DOORS"
THAT'S stuff, f" said the editor. as he
handed the poem back. That's tough"
said the poet, as he turned sorrowfully
away.
When a man was so drunk like der
tuyfel.' says Carl Pretzel, "dhere was
no friend dot will shdnck by him so long
like lamppost. !"
@Is there wheelright in the dele
gation?" asked one of the committee
"Why?" asked another. Because he
would be the proper man to act as
spokesman"
OLD GENT-Little boy, I am sorry
to see you smoking cigarette. Little
Boy.-I amt smoking it. I'm keeping
it alight for another teller what's gone
| on an Grant.
DURING violent thunderstorm a
lady spoke of being afraid of the light
ming. Don't be scared, mamma said
hec fourteen ycar-old boy: Il won't let
it strike you.
HEAD CLERK-T',n letting my whisls-
ers grow, sir. $50 / see, but I can't
permit employees to grow their whiskers
in business hours. They must do that
| in their own time"
| GLADYS (effusively):-O, Uncle Joe,
the gypsy who told my fortune says 1
am to marry nobleman. Uncle Joe:
| Well, let's hope for the best. You
may die, you know.
LADY Ito sea captain)- How do you
manage to find yonr way across the
ocean? Captai,l-By the compass. The
needle always points to the north. But
suppose you wish to go south?
AND so, Jennie, said Julia, you're
going to marry a real live prince. Dear
me, isn't that nice?" Jennie (sadlv)--
No, Julia, I'm not Papa hadn't
enough TO pay his depts.
OLD PHILOSOPHER Eth? Engaged
yourself to Miss Pretty? Why, she
wastes half her time over that horrid
little pug dog Of hers. Young Philoso-
| pher-les, but I notice the dog does
just as he pleases.
MoDEsT-Doctor, will you let me
know how much I owe you? ooh, my
good women, I know you are not in
good circumstances, will not charge
you anything for my trouble" "Yes,
that is all very we'll, but who is to pay
the apothecary?"
BYRON TYcK- Well, Mr.. Fulton,
guess I'll let you send me some coal
again this season. The last was very
satisfactory, especially in the matter of
weight. Fullon-H'm, yes; how'll c.
o. d. suit you? The wait wasn't very
satisfactory to me last time.-Timc.
| Mrs. BL1NKs Ito Freddie. whom she
has seen throwing stones at his grand
father Fill teach you to insult my old
father again, you naughty boy! Grand
father (r',bbing his shins):-I think,
Mary, that yon would do better not to
give him any more instruction in that
branch--he's pretty well up in it now!
1tIs RING STRANGELY I:EcoVERED.
Mi. Thomas n. Hooper, Superin-
tendent OF the Davenport Water Works,
has chronicled a new and rather re-
markable experience He was made
a tllirty-two degree Mason in Boston
about twenty five years ago. The occa-
sion was one of some note, and was
celebrated with great ceremony. Among
other things a fine gold ring was be-
slowed upon him, engraved with
variety Of symbolic devices, and AMONG
them his name. He wore the ring to
this country, but while gathering halle
nuts near here in Illinois one day in
1870 he lost it from his finger. He was
unable to find it. and gave up all hopes
OF seeing it again when he came away.
A few days ago a woman came into a
drug store in Rock Island and pro-
duced ring which she had found cling
ing to the root OF weed that she had
pulled up in her garden. The druggist
passed it to a physician who happened
lV