Telegram-herald., 1889-12-02
HUDSONVILLE HUMOR.
The Oyster, l. It IN the Soup?-A Thanks
giving Toast.


tls>.ss,S Ns Ny4tsVes-s -ssSlAO
HUpsoNvnLE, Mich, Nov. S0.-The
following was read 10y A. f. Winches-
ter at dinner given 10y the Georgetown
"Wednesday Evening Club" Thanks
giving, in response to the toast: "The
Oyster, Is il IN the Soup"
Is the oyster in the SOUP | be-
leve that 1t Is, or rather, | believe that
the oyster was in the SOUP when the
soup was made, that II, If the soup is
an oyster soup. | think that about
almost everything in this world has
been cOunterfelted but an oyster.
have yet to hear of a satisfactory sub
stitute for the oyster, SO we will take il
for granted that It takes genuine oys-
ter 10 make an oyster soup. That the
oyster was IN the soup, then, Is self
evident, but whether or not the oyster
Is IN the soup, when the soup is served,
depends, perhaps, very much on the
honesty of the cook; or if il Is a church
social, II depends on the honesty OF the
old deacOns and dcacOnesses who, be-
lleve, generally sOup-erintend the soup
on such soup occasions. Soups, soup
erln-tended by old dcaconS, are not al
ways sOup-eriOr soups. At soup sOcials
OF tins kind there Is generally soup
eraoundant soup-ply OF soup, with but
few oysters; these soups, | sOup-pose,
should be eaten by people who nave
a soup-erabundant supply of sOup-erior
good nature, and who are not sOupersti-
uous. Oysters are sOup-ple fellows,
and, by the way, ! wonder if they are
not sometimes sOup-crstltiOus.
Now, this question, l. the oyster in
the soup? brings up another Of even
greater Importance, If this were posi-
BILE. | think we have proved that il
takes at least one oyster, or a fraction
thereof, to make an oyster soup, but
how many soups VIII an oyster make?
In other words, how many soups will il
take to use upa oyster? In this case
the question should read: is the ovs-
ter IN the soups, and If the oyster is in
the soups, which soup Is the oyster n?'
This is the question that puzzles the
deacOns at church sOcials and leads
their minds INTO channels of thought
not altogether appropriate for such
occasions, when they sit down before
the wrong soup. Ny remarks on this
occasion are not intended 10 be at all
personal IN their nature. and are not
meant to bear at all on the present SOUP
occasion, but are intended to apply
only to the generality of oyster soup
social occasions.
"'Tis said that the oyster is a great
philanthrOpist and has built many a
church and supported not a few minis
ters. Undoubtedly, there has been
many big margin Of profits made on
the oyster at church sOclals. As one
poet puts it:
Mr.. Oyster you're n winner.
For YOU can be worked for supper and dinner
a single rcater in % barrel of stew.
We buy the water and est not you.
FOR the fata punster Knows o weil.
IN TIE minister stomach youWiiI dwell:
30 he springs tie gag. and the gong 10 peals.
one CySter and cracker make church meals
"Have YOU ever heard the story of
the Engilshman who, while ntl.s cOun-
try, took dinner at restaurant i'm one
of our large cities and called for a beef
steak? Now. while the American Ike
his steak rare. the Englishman takes
bis well done I'm this instance the
Euglishman'S steak was done, rs usual
after the American style, rare 30
the Englishman called the waiter back
and said. Water. please Il don't know
whether Eng.ishmcu usually say please
10 a restaurant waiter or not: tlIs ere.
| understand sad plcase). pleas carry
this steak through tile kitchen once
more There is a moral ln tn. that
the oyster soup social prog OtIcator
should take warming from. Tha there
Will uc q great rebellion at some one Of
tho oy-tC sOclals Of the near tut re.
whcu the moral public WI. rc-
nOunce allegiance to soup soCa e ls
p0ss bile. and. indeed. probable. tsa
thcrc is reformation n soups j J.
possible that some one, whose F4.0r
may got the better Ot his dIscrct on.
VII cry ont in bis injured maahood
deacon, please dip an oyster d. ths
soup once m0re' In that dav we may
t1u. f0r change. Then and only then.
vl.l we haVc thc great. much needed
oyster soup social reformation Let
hasten Ilt time.
T. the oyster I'm the oyster Social soupe
Isfhe oyster n tae souD
Mef. I she1.i smile.
TIE OYSTER ia fhe s1uq for % bic
ana thea change hc taxes
Ta another flsh of soup
rffr his styles
Att.r esi and the FAR.
u Che ev.ffr harper faere.
era 81 fhsf hetasrot
AID favor Hag aHat
s.Ia+tr. tet'a vha shoais sto'p.
tt fifh gre selp.
Hna. f fnI Pie a3F.
passed anay
Hfffhr eseersh .a.s survive
Uar .e- af.r