St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-07-28

serenity with a mild laugh. The
preacher resumed his task by address
ing himself to the other party:
''Bidda McGibben. do you promise
me here tonight that you'll grab onto
Melons Johnson, be his good wife; dat
you'll cook his vittles, mend his clOes,
take care oh his house Gf he eber has
one which Ise doan' 'pect); will you
clane de chickens what he brings home,
and forglts to account TO-; will you
obey him and serve him, but honor and
hug him and keep hold on him all de
days OF your mortal life while you lib
tOgedder in dis lower Wurld?'
''Isn't it time for me to speak up,
Sah?" said the Satfron-faced woman.
making slOp-oVer bow.
''Of course it am. What fore do you
'spect | asked de questions OF you, II L
didn't mean for you to answer lt?' re-
tOrted the irate black clergyman.
why, cause" said she, ''you bleWed
up Melons so when he said anything,
dat l kinder thought I'd wait awhile
afOre ans'ring you"
whats your answer TO my lntr0ga-
tiOn?" shouted the preacher.
''Well, now, pahsOn. dOan get cited.
All dat depends on few circumstances.
If Melons behaves hiSself and takes
good keer of me, de family and de pigs
and de washin', brings home things to
eat and GIBBS ME half what he urnS, III
be good to him; Otherwise, | won't prom
Use to stay wild him all de days OF my
life."
"WelI. now, look YEAH" said the dis
cOuraged groom, ''dat'S nifty fine talk
to hear from you. and right here afore
folks, too. HASN'T l said I'd do de square
thing by you ten bundled thousand
times? If yOuse gone back on me and
changed your mind down to your stom-
ich since las eb'nin. dere's Raachy
Briggs a-settin' close by in de frunt
pew, and she'd jump fro here kawset
for de chance OBJ standin' here where
you do dis 'portant mint"
This pointed allusiOn to one OF his OLD
flames was altogether too much for
Bidda McGlibben, who cried out:
Oats jeS like you, Melons Johnson.
You ought to be 'Shamed OBJ yourself to
defer to such ting rite here afOre de
folks. If Raachy wants ter marriage
On'ter you and you am sucked on
Raachy, you black beas' cum rite out
and I'll dust quicker N de debil."
NO. no, Bidda." roared Melons.
'don't leave me here a-standin' up all
alone. / only spoke paregonically. and
'tWould be awful embarraSSin' for TO
change partners on such short notls.
See here. parson, you go right on wild
desc negOstiaShuns and 1ine us JeS as II
dis ere cOnVerSashun hadn't Cured.
Pears to me dat folks mus be a-gett1n'
turribal sick wild all dis nonsense"
Melons Johnson, do you dare ter in
sinerwate dat dere'S any nonsense bout
me? You keep quiet and wait till get
reddy to denounce dem awful and
'pressive wurds dat will make you two
one-quiek'n wink. l hadn't got
thru sayin' all | want to to yOuSe two
Tits. You is too much OBJ an obleck-
lesson to desc SinnahS before me, fur
me to dismiss you too 'ruptly. want
to press on your intellex Gf you hab
any dat dis ERE gettin' matrimOnlfied
am a nifty SOlem Suckemstance. You
two are a-standin' on de threshold OF
lite. while | shall soon go down de back
fire 'scape of time. You must advance
while | must devance, and
l want you to slider all de
'sponsibllities dat you is 'soomin'.
| could dwell on dis subjeck somethln
like year, but I'm kinder tuckered
out myself, so I'll bring dis seremOny TO
exclusion and denOunce you man and
wife if you will jeS lay de dollar down
on de pulpit. De organist will please
strike up de weddin' march backwards
as de happy pair will den perambulate
down de middle isle. De usual collec-
tian of weekly offerin's will be taken up
jeS as soon as de weddin' party sub
merge into de porch. and IN order to
prevent any one else from a-sklppln'
out de sexton will lock de dOah and put
de key in de cuspidoah. Amen:
II. w. W.