The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1889-11-01

don't think they got much Gus Of Il.
Old Fanfare himself. when he only
held the complimentary title OF Lord
Tootle' had been royal page. and
had commenced life as courtier;
then no went into tho guards; and
then he did the W isest thing no ever did
In his life. he bolted with tho daughter
OF the latc proprietor of the Methu-
selah pill. and he came into hum
dred thousand pounds and the busi-
ness. Then young Lord Tootle sold
out OF the guards. and settled down ut
the age OF thirty-hvo TO getting as
much fun as possible out Of his wife's
fortune and tho Methusclah. pill. Lord
Fanfare was not unkind to his wife;
at first he was quito a pattern hus-
band. but gradually a GOODNESS arose
between them, for poor Lady Fanfare
failed TO present him with an heir.
Al the end OF ten years. however the
little Lord Tootle was born. and ut his
birth his mother died. and from that
time forward Lord Fanfare devoted
himself to tho rearing and education
OF little Lord Tootle. Many were the
traps set for thas willy old bird, Lord
Fanfare; mothers cringed to him.
daughters smiled ut him. widows
ogled him, musica. girls played at
him. vocal girls squalled at him; but
all in vain. Lord Fanfare wasn't
marrying man. and tho ladies had
their labor for their pains. They
resented that, tho dear creatures-of
course they did; and then they had
their revenge. II was Lady Kitty
Candour who set 1t going; l mean
that it was Lady Kitty who first
started the rumor Of Lord Fanfare 3
wickcdness. you've only got to
look at him." people said, land you'll
see that it's true at glance Why.
he dyes his hair. and he wears chin
tuft-all very wicked ole men uye
their hair and wear chin tufts; he
goes to Tattcrsalls regularly. he's
very thick with theatrical people, he's
a member Of the Pandemonium Club,
and. to crown his iniquity. hos .
director OF a music hall company"
why does he dress as II he were a
tailor's advertisement" said Lady
Drumthwackit. whose penniless daugh-
ter Hilda had tried very hard indeed
for the old gentleman. and had miser-
ably failed.
"And he paints. ma. know he
does" cried the artless Hilda. .'or how
could he have the complexion OF a
youth OF scventeen?'
'.Hc has wonderful complexion. !"
replied her mother. ''but he needn' (
have Dragged of it to all the world. =
Now. the fact was that Lord Fanfare
kept his connection with the Methuse-
lah pill very dark indeed; hut he had a
wonderful complexion. and being fond
| OF a Joke. and liking to do stroke Of
business at the same time, he had al
lowed the omnibuses to literally bris-
tie with his portrait. beneath which
was the following ridiculous adver.
| tisement:
Il am sixty five to-day. and yet.
thanks TO the Methuselah pill. ~
complexion Il that OF boy Of sey En-
teen. FANFARE"
You cant doubt the word OF y bor
Of the realm, you know. and the sale
Of the Aiethuselah pill was vastly in
creased.
The fact Il that Lord Fanfare wore =
chin tuft simply because chin-tufts we're
in fashion when he was . young bache-
lor In the guards; he went 70 Tattersall's
simply because he'd gone to latter
sails all his life; he was director OF q
music hall company because he was a
large shareholder, and because he
liked the little dircctorial suppers.
and because in music hall matters be
was . very kno wing old boy indeed.
Lord Fanfare and his friend and CO.
director, Mr.. David Psalmanezar.
were sitting in the directors box Ut
the International Palace OF Varieties,
each with Brobdingnagian opera
glass in his hand, and they were star
ing intently at the stage. upon which
the three talented sisters, Laura. Cora
and Dora Flarer. were going through
their well-known entertainment.
They're dirt cheap at hundred a
week." remarked Mr.. David Psalm
anezar. why. half the chappics in
town are over head and ears in love
with them. and they have TO drink un-
limited whiskys-and-sodas our whis-
kys-and-sodas. he added. with a
laugh--''to drown their sorrows; and
there amt doubt" said Psalmane-
Ear, who was a vulgar man. with a
chuckle. that they're summers, and
that Laura's the stunningest Of the
three; but don't think should care
for her as q daugh ter-in-law," contin-
ued Mr. Psalmanezar.
mo. ! think should draw the line
there" remarked his Lordship
''Then why on earth don't you stop
itP'' replied Mr.. Psalmanezar.
stop itr' cried his Lordship. "Stop
what?"
You've always been good pal to
me. Fanfare" remarked Psalmanezar;
Its no business Of mine. but they do