The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1889-03-10
THE SALVATION ARMY BAND.
Reverie By Bill Eye During .
Gospel Serenade.
Methods OF Hitting szsan-Ifa Man,s
Seal IL Lost HIS Name
L. D<anis-
Edgar WINS WE.

Eaii Of q brass band comes stealing
through nay easement. I trust thar
the intelligent composition win not
strive 70 set me right on that word.
refer TO the wall Of The plaintiff when
be has tried to enforce the payment of
. bill ard finds that the LAWYER has
had II but cannot really refund il
without personal Inconvenience 10
hirnSkG
This susie. 10 whfe.s | at first so
feelingty alluded, ccuses from the vol
unteer band o. a Salvation Army.
They are playing beneath my ease
menf for my benefit They desire to
snatch Sne as brand from the bnrn-
ing. but / am in Michigan. and |
would rather be brand At this season
OF the year than to be outside making
large rnouse-colored ass of myself.
| step 20 the window and say that
while thanking one and all for the
honor thus paid me, comparatively
unknown man. / am entirely UMPIRE
pared TO say anything suitable for the
occasion, and being poor extempora-
neous speaking. seeking modestiy 70
plug along and support fny family. |
will once more thank one and all for
this fIattering reception, and say good
by.
The leader is a large. red-hosed man
who weeps easily and pulls out the
tremolo on his yoicf at all times. He
wears street-car conductors cap
with q red band around it. which
matches his nose, and, as the night i
intensely cold, be wears pair OF ear
NUTS which were formerly used BIZ
the baby elephant. perhaps. Near
him, with . bleA>1vaste OF purple
beak, knocking poor and defenceless
tambourine silly, wearing green veil
under her lower jaw in order to pro-
teet her ears, and pair Of her favor
lite husband s socks over her shoes TO
keep out the bitter cold from her mas
siye feet. stands q woman with sfraws
in the fringe OF her shawl and a vacant
look in her hard, cold eye. | was Just
going TO say she ought to be st home
with her family. but all at once il oe-
CURED to me that it would be a great
blow to the family So, perhaps, il is
better as il is
The plan of salvation, rs outlined
by the Salvation Army, is too vitnper-
alive to be successful. Life is, of
course. a warfare. and nearly all of US
have to fight more or less, with the
exception of the regular army; but
the war made on Satan by the Saliva
ton Army is too acrimonious, il seems
10 me. 1t makes good deal OF noise
and requires good deal of foraging,
but is really harder on the surround
ing country than ii is on the enemy.
What is the use of bombarding Satan
all winter here in Michigan when the
chances are that he is down at the
Hot Springs
Why make personal attack upon
John G.. LuciFer with disagieeable
brass band here in the northwest
when he is in fact down at Washing
ton where he can hear good music?
As l listen again at the window [
hear the voice of the lieutenant-col-
onei of the Salvation army. He is
urging his little band OF Don Qaixotes
TO charge on the satanic windmill.
He Is speaking extemporaneously,
and the woman in the large WOODEN
socks is trying to look pleasant This
frightens loaded team. and cord
and half of dry maple wood expends
itself along in street with great fury.
The leader goes on again to state
that we are journeying through an
unfriendly world. That man may
lose his money or his clothing, or his
wife, and still recover. But when he
loses his soul his name is Denis.
.'Oh, then. let us fight for those souls,
such as they are. Let us challenge
old Satan, and give him only time to
train down. Let us fight hina without
gloves. Let Us knock his head off.
Oh, / never saw better time than
now, whilst he is thinking about some
thing else. Let us sock il to him now.
Let us mutilate his disagreeable feat
ures, and send him back to hell look
ing like man in the almanac who
explains the zodiac, and who allows
bis works 10 show for themselves"
The band then strikes up selection
or fragment of campaign song that
sounds SO sacralegious that il honestly
makes the chills and hot flashes chase
each other the entire length of my
being. 1t is Ike hearing the ''Razzle
Dazzle song over your mothers
grave.
The band is composed of six pieces.
the bass drum leading. 1t IS sup
ported by a colored man who has
joined the band because he is passion
ateiy fond of music, can wear a cap
! with braid around ii, and enjoy a sea
son OF much-needed rest Coming in
at intervals there is u croupy bass horn
that has lost its voice by sleeping in
barns throughout the state. There
are four other pieces of music. but
their relations with each other are
strained. Tie players pause ever and
anon 20 polish their red sweep OF nose
with the corners of their shawls, or to
agitate their chillblains against brick
building, and so il often falls out that
they lose various notes, for which
! their auditors thank them and anon
SNOWFALL them as they are in the act