The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-02-14
NEWSPAPER HUMoR.
Written With Six Dollar Pair Of Shears
Universal profession-That Of gold

Written with Six Dollar Pair Of Shears.
Universal profession-That Of gold
chaser.
Life is too short to dwell on failures
push on to a new success.
We find self made men very often, but
self unmade ones good deal oftener.
A man is often highly esteemed for
what we don't know about him.-Pick.
The man who sat on paper of tacks
Said they reminded him of the income
tax.
The highest exercise of charity is char
ny toward the uncharitable.- -Buckmin-
ster.
The best things are accomplished when
hope walks hand in hand with en-
deavor.
None but man who is well loaded
will attempt to shoot the spids.-Boston
Post.
Those who try to be smart at other
peoples expense are often stupid at their
own.
Princes are brought up to live with all
he woTld-all the world ought 10 be
brought up to live with princes.
when two men are after one boss
wages are poor; when two bosses are
after one workman wages are high"
A man IS already of consequence in
the world when it is known that we can
implicitly depend upon him.-Lord
Lyons.
Riches without charity are nothing
worth; they are blessings TO him only
who makes them blessing to others
Fielding.
The pIeasantest things in the world
are pleasant thoughts and the great art
IN life is to have as many Of them as
possible.
The immortal taint ir the hearts of
many outwardly decent people is what
makes book thus tainted sell rapidly -
Nashville Christian AdUOcdte.
The creed of narrow man: II a
riend changes his mind he is a traitor;
If stranger does not think as you do he
Is fool.-Ne'c Orleans Picdy,tne.
Women are frequently debarred from
icting on school boards or church boards
but they can have a complete monopoly
on the washboards.-Yo Yonkers States
man.
Passionate expressions and vehement
assertions are no arguments, unless it be
of the weakness of the cause that is de-
Tended by them, or of the man that de-
tends lt.-ChiHingiCOrth.
at is melancholy" said Ouida, "to
see how large the proportion is of young
ladies who marry solely to get rid Of
their mothers" But alas Too often
the husband finds that they haven't got
rid of tEeir mothers.
There is some good in a hustle all.
When fashion doomed short dresses, the
tournure appendage was the only thing
that lntervened to prevent alligator
trains from continuing to wriggle along
the dusty paths of life.
He was loath to go. at isn't 20 aw-
fully late is it, Laura !" he asked anx-
iously. mo, George" she replied, "it's
early. Papa won't begin yelling at the
hired girl to get up for more than an
hour yet."-Chicago Tribune.
Conversation warns the mind, enliv-
ems the Imagination, and is continually
starting fresh game that is Immediately
pursued and taken, and which would
never have occurred in the duller inter-
course of epistolary correspondence
Benjamin Franklin.
Moody says if he could go down to his
grave and have it honestly written above
II, He did what he could" he would
rather have it than monument of gold
reaching to heaven. Do all the good you
can, to all the people you can, as long as
ever you can.
One who wants to be the object of
good feelings on the part of others must
be the subject of such feelings toward
them. This is what Solomon meant
when he said that The that hath friends
must show himself friendly" A cross,
ill-tempered, and soui minded man who
loves nobody, is too hateful and odious
to invite the affection of others. .-NsuU
York Independent.