Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1889-08-14
BOARD.

1t would take very largo hotel to board q
train.-Harper's Bazaar.
Port Huron has tough whose forehead is
30 low that when he weeps the tears run down
his back.-Detroit Journal.
An exchange asks, How do Indians get
arms2 Well, very much as they get legs and
other things.-Texas Siftings.
An Experienced Teacher-"Must aim at
that black spot In the center of the cirolea''
"Why, no; that's what I want you to hit.
Aim at that ice house ten feet to the right. "
Time.
The pastors wife-Dr. Talkwell exchanges
with my husband next Sunday.
Thoughtless parishioner-Indeedi Perhaps
can persuade my husband to come to
church.-Life.
Unwelcome Arrivals.-St. Peter-"Halt!'
New Spirit-"Can'tI come ina" st. Peter
cpd rather you wouldn't. You are just out
| about running the universe. New York
| Weekly.
Lady-"Where's the lobster?" Biddy-
"Sure, mum, put him in the pot, and when
I went out somebody changed him for an
| other. Mine was green, and the one found
| was red. I thought yez mott be pizened, so
ohueked him in the strate. e."-Pittsburg
Bulletin.
"ThiA is no picnic you've brought me to!''
"No picnic! Why nots'
tWhere ia the young man with the laven-
| der trousers? Where is the custard pie un-
der the trees Where is the ants nesta And
| the man putting up the swings And the
| idiot rocking boat full of girls! Not any of
| them here! I'm going home!"-New York
Sun.
A shivering man was seen trying to climb
down into the crater of Mt. Vesuvius. A
guide started forward with cry of alarm.
"What's the matter with you" the man
| asked. "Merciful heavensi" exclaimed the
| excited guide, "you'll be roasted" "That's
all right pardner. Don't you worry about
| my being roasted. Pm from St. Louis
| Arkansaw Traveller.
sold boy, aueatsd gweat deal Of merri.
| ment at the pawty last night" did you4'
"Yass; avsked the oonundwum, Why is
"Did they give it upa" eyes, and told them
that one was slope up and tho other was q
slow dog" "Did they laugha" "Well,
nevah heard such laughter in my life. y
! ! Columbus (Ohie> Light.
Two Gardiner boys %ase carrying, ,one a poi
| of beans and the other loaf of brown bread
home to their family when Bill dropped his
| pot and the beans bit the dust. Jim looked
| on the wreck In dumb dismay for an instant,
| and then lifting his brown bread as high as
his mead ne dashed IL down as hard aS he
could on the beans, pretty well mixing the
1nseparable articles Of food. "What did you
do that fors' said Bill in disgust. because,
said Jim, "what is brown bread good fol
without beansa'-Gardiner (Ne.) journal.
He was a stamp 6end, young and preco
cious. The plain American stamp had nc
interest for him. He was making cellec.
tion of foreign ones, and SO when they sen
him down to the postofice for packet he
did not pay much attention, but brought i
home and handed it over and skipped out te
play tag. Next day they showed him new
sister, who had arrived. He looked at he,
| with some curiosity. 'Say, where did she
come froms' ooh, from heaven" "Fron
heaven! know, that was the package
brought from the postofice yesterday, and
never knowed anything about it," eyes.
"Golly, why didn't you save me the stamps.
I-San Francisco Chronicle.