Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-02
THE PROPER THING TO DO.
When to Wear Gloves-A Country Physi.
cinu's wife's DfIemma-Habits of Men
WRITTEN FOR THB DIsPATcH.l

and W0men-The Dignity Of n Standing
Collar.
WRITTEN FOR THB DIsPATcH.l
The author Of "Don't' this week throwsa
line to a number of persons who are sinking
in society because they are ignorant of those
little points of etiquette which would enable
them to keep afoat in the social swim.
Is it admissible for bride and groom Co wear
gloves at a home weddingP MP.
The bride always wears gloves; the groom,
according to present custom, may do as he
pleases.
Should gloves always be worn when carrying
c2nef 7. n.
Itwas at one time thought incongruous to carry
aeane without the hand being gloved. This was
when the cane was not commonly carried ex-
cept when promenading. There does not now
appear TO be any uniform custom, but 1t is
clearly in better taste to wear gloves with
cane Cultivate the habit of wearing gloves"
says the author of "Hints About Mems
Dress" whenever there is an excuse for it.
They keep the hands clean and add to ones
comfort"
Is it proper to use the fork alone in eating
soft custard pie. or should the knife also be
used2 Should both the above methods be in
correct, state the correct method. j. D. T.
The fork should be used alone with custard
pie, and with all pastry, unless the knife is
necessary. At some tables pastry is commonly
served with the fork alone. Use the fork when
ever you can and in many instances instead of
the spoon. 1t is common, in restaurants es-
pecially to serve melons with a spoon; they
should be eaten always with the fork.
A COUNTRY LADY PUZZLED.
L Should country physicians wife, when
riding with her husband, return bow from
gentleman, or lady, who are her husbands pa
tents, but with whom she is not acquainted? q
One of my friends here has lady from the
city visiting here. They call upon me during
the afternoon. When they rise to 90, should
offer to shake hands with the city lady or sim
ply wish her Good sfternoon?' And when /
return the call should shake hands upon leav-
ing the room with the city lady and also with
my friends motherS do not quite understand
the etiquette of shaking hands and shall be
greatly obliged if you will tell me what is right
L A lady or gentleman should always, at all
places and at all times, return the bow of an
other person, unless there is very good reason
for not doing so. Not to return a bow is to
give the cut direct; is to subject the person who
bows to great humiliation. If an acquaintance
is not desired let the bow be cool and distant.
There isygenerally altogether too much
shaking of hands At company it is not nec-
essary to shake hands with anyone but the
sstess anQhost, but when there are only two
perSSns II would be awkward to extend the
hand to one person and not to the other, unless
one Is an old friend and the other is stranger
In receiving guests the initiative should always
be taken by the hostess. If she extends her
hand do not fail to offer yours when you with
draw, and il anyone with her extends her hand
return the courtesy when you leave. In the
same way, if you are hostess the obligation of
the initiative rests upon you. Don't be too
formal and distant in shaking hands, and on
II. ~, la,HA ~ Ar1. A
dial manner and an extended hand often make
friends. Don't, therefore be too formal, but
don't run around the room, when there are a
number of people, shaking hands indiscrlmi-
nately. There are no positive rules in this
matter. A little tact is all that is necessary.
STRAW HATS IN CHURCH
VIII you please inform me if it is good form
to wear straw hat on Sunday, when attending
church or on the street, and oblige APOLLO.
We discussed last week at considerable
length the rules of the hat or rather the lack
of any rules, An Englishman, for instance
does not wear a straw hat or = sack coat to
church. In this country very few people make
any distinction in their head wear; those who
do would not wear a straw hat to church or
upon any occasion at all ceremonious in char
acter. Climate, however, has something to do
with this question, for on a very hot day
straw hat would be appropriate and admissible
while in cooler weather it would not.
A discussion took place recently in social
circle upon the comparative habits of men and
women. 1t was agreed to ask your opinion on
this subject. INQUIRER,
The habits Of women, comparing class with
class, are certainly better than those of men.
They have not nearly SO many disagreeable
tricks. They do not expectorate; they do not
chew their toothpicks; they do not finger and
scratch themselves; they do not stretch out
do rot snort nor sneeze; they do not puff and
blow. They are always more composed in man.
ner, more self-restrained. more observant of
little niceties One of their worst habits is to
g1ggle and laugh at nothing Many Of them
can never speak without giggle, whether any
thing amusing is said or not. Another bad |
habit is that Of pitching their voice in high
key. Take them altogether. however they set
the men in most things very good example.
THE ETIQUETTE OF COLLARS.
Is there any established rule with men about |
wearing the collar? Are there occasions for |
instance, when a standing collar would be |
more appropriate than turn-down collar?
There are no rules about the collar, only |
fashions. And yet standing collar gives more |
dignity than turn-down collar, and hence is |
preferable for dress occasions. The funda- |
mental rule is to wear a collar, for great So
cial gulf lies between men with collals and men /
without collars. The author of a recent En-. |
giish novel describing life in the London slums, |
gives little essay upon the social effect of the
collar. There is always hope, he says for the |
young workman who wears a collar; it is sign |
that he is ambitious and will probably get |
along; but the collarless man has abandoned |
himself to his conditions, and will sink rather |
than rise. Walter Besant in one of his novels, |
has also something to say of the social effect of
the collar.
VIII you kindly give the proper form OF be- |
ginning and ending letter to friends and &C.
ouaintances9 W. |
The salutation of letter to an acquaintance |
should be '.My dear Mr.. Smith, to intimate,
friends the "Bfr." may be dropped. Of course,
IL the writer knows his correspondent so well |
as to address him in speech by his Christian
name be would naturally do the same IN I
letter Some old fashioned people use as q sale
utation my dear friend" or Friend Smith,"
but neither of these modes is considered in
''good form" The complimentary close Of a
letter may be 'sSincerely yours" ''TruthfuIly
yours" "Yours cordially" or ''Yours ever"
1t has long seemed to me that the custom of
carrying gloves in the hand on the street is
eenseless one. should ike TO know whether
you agree with me. 1t is my opinion that gen.
uemen should either wear their gloves on their
hands or carry them in their pockets. j.
As an elementary statement gloves should
either be worn on the hands or carried in the
pockets; but there are some occasions when q
departure from this rule may be considered ad-
missible. When person on the promenade, i
finding his gloves very warm, for instance, re-
movsa them and puts them in his pocket, he