The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-02-13
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

n lana OF distress - W ales.
On strike-A parlor match.
A shepherds crook-A sheep stealer.
The seaboard-Salt pork and hard
tack.
With the builder it's either put up or
shut up.
In the matter of fans the Chinese take
the palm.
The "nimble shilling" must be made
out of quicksilver.
A beetle can draw twenty times its
own weight. 20 can mustard plaster.
Now say the bees after the hive is
prepared for them: "We'll make things
hum here"
A spirit thermometer is best for cold
weather purposes, because there is always
a drop in it.
Shrewd inquiries are beng made as to
whether the cup Of sorrow has saucer.
Can any one tell
Jay Eye See will probably remain on
the turf instead OF going under it,
Net0 York HerdIi.
When it comes to a question between
pies and pizin it is hard to Decide
Richmond Despatch.
Uncle Sam may laugh at Canada, but
he can't catch nation by cachinnation.
Detroit Free Pres.
If he who hesitates is lost, the man
who shutters must have great difficulty
in finding himself. -SOmeroWl Journal.
'Tis human act to kill CANNES
By electric shocks we own
But then it gives a wicked taste
To the sausage Of Bologne.
Bobby-"What did you say, pa" Pa
-"Never mind" Bobby-"I don't Of
tener thaa have TO, do lp-Binghamp-
ton Republican.
$50 old Brown is dead, ehl Wen,
well! Did he leave anythingN "Yes.
1t broke his heart to do it, but he left
everything "-Harper'a Eagdr.
A clergyman who married a couple OF
deaf mutes in Brooklyn the other day
made a bad break when he wished
them 'unspeakable bliss. - The Cartoon.
He who fights and runs away
May live to fight another day;
But he who never fights at all,
Yet swears he whips, has lots OF gall.
Tennyson compares men to trees, and
perhaps he is right about some men, who
are all limbs, whose boughs are awkward,
and whose general reputation is some-
what shady. .-Neio I0rk Sun.
Little Boston Girl (as the hair.b brush
is reached -"Mamma, the consecu-
veness and tie prevalency of these in
terminable castigations are slowly sap
ping my very life ~ Time.
The United States Post Office Depart
ment is pretty well supplied with regula-
tions, there is one more we should like
to see adopted about this time-"Post
no bills. ."-BurLiagtoH Free Press.
He said in tones of sorrow,
No friends in need for mel
The friends that want to borrow
do not wish to see.
Boston Courier
He Misunderstood Robinson -"How
does it come that you are always in the
courts" Lawye my busi-
ness" Robinson-"Oh, well, wouldn't
get so touchy about little thing if |
were you. - Time.
Baker-''What is the price Of flour
TO oday?n Somewhat high
er." "Well, 90 down and tell the fore
man to chuck in more yeast. Thank my
stars, cid Hutch can't get up corner ON
wind. ~ -PiHadetphia hec0rd.
"Why, Mrs. De aucey what is the
matter with your daughter florencel ?
She looks completely used up and done
for" "Oh, she's all right Mrs. Van
Tyke. She has Just graduated from
ishing school. ."-sPr'aaHeld Union.
II. that she loved him, for when il was
e
Ana nigh over the earth stood the moon,
As he took up his hat and stroled out TO the
gate,
She asked. Are you going so soon
Merchant Irdre'sr
When Chaplain McCabe was in Kansas
on tour endeavoring to raise ST.
OOo, 600 for missions, a little boy heard
his appeal, and thinking OF the large
sum he had TO raise, determined TO help
him The first chance he had early in
the week he gathered a basketful of
chestnuts, whith he sold for five cents,
lie sent this to Mr.. McCabe with the
note; III you want any more let me
know - Chicdg1 Hrgld
St. Paul, Mimi, parties predict de
crease in tho log crop on the upper Mis-