Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-31
VAIN.

s'So you're jsilbird, eha What did they put you in fors' sRobin. ."-Boston Post.
 The pictures most frequently seen in the papers just now are cabinet sighs.-Boston Transcript.
 Germany owes Uncle Sam an apology. That's the kind of Sam-owner it is.-New York Journal.
 There is one class of Americans that nsver miss trains. We refer to the defaulting cash iers.-Yonkers Statesman.
 The overshoe business has been dull this winter, owing to lack of snow, but the rub- Der is still popular at the whist.-Boston Gazette.
 It is all very well to talk about champion sprinters, but if you wish to zee the record broken start f'ruuning account" with the grocer or provision dealer.-Boston Bulle- tin.
 "What do you charge for removing cornsa" asked Miss Beacon street of the chiropodist. cone dollar foot" 'Well, my friend here is from Chicago. How much will that make it cost herF'-Boston Post.
 Mabel-"Charley, dear, am going to at
 tend Miss Parloas classes and learn to cook"
 Charley (hurriedIy)-fHadn't we better go to boarding, go you may have more time to at- tend to the lessons, you knowF'-Lowell Git izen.
 First tramp-"Say, Cullie, der goes Goosie, an tell you he's coming up in der world he is." Second tramp-"How yer know?" First his free lunch yesterday. ."-New York World.
 "Hows thats" inquired the city editor. q told you to make stick of this story, and here you bring me in 8 report yard long" :" 'sI'm sorry" returned the new reporter, ''but you see I used to be clerk in dry goods store."-Puck. Bride (on train) )-"Why, John, where have you beens" John Gin discouraging looking l ition)-fI-er-'ve been (hic) in the I buffet car (hic) acting like 8 married man." Bride (coldly)-"Well, you've been quite successful. ."-New York Sun. l ssNo," said Mrs. Shoddie, "we have to pay 1 our fare nowadays as the railroad companies ! will not give Charles passes on account of 1 this nasty real estate commerce law" and l then she sighed and made faces at the rail-
 road corporations.-Minneapolis Tribune. 1 How to get rich-"James," said the pro- prietor, ''hava you marked all the holiday
 stock up s5 per cent."
 "Yes, sir."
 l "Then put a eign on the window aaying that we are selling out at cost. st."-.Clothie1 i ana rurnisner.
 Dumley (helping Brown home)-"Whatll your wife say (hic), Brown' It's o'clock. " Brown-"Oh, she won't shay noshing. She'll 1 Just neip me up tne stalrs kuic) an Put Me lo bed an feel sorry (hic) that I'm so sick again. I tell you, Dumley, y ought to be a married 1 man an (hic) enjoy the comforts of a home. J Epoch.
 Maud-"And you are really engaged to Mir. Hawkins, EthelF' Ethel-"Yes. hardly l know whether love him or not, but he was I so earnest that somehow I could not refuse him." Maud-"Yes, know. When re- fused him last summer he told me he was going to marry somebody or burst before Christmas. "-Terre Haute Express. At the Shoe Counter.-Salesman-" That's
 a perfect fit, lady" Shopper--"Yes, they feel quite comfortable. Slips off shoes and looks at the sole.) Mercy, they're mile too
 bigl Why, they are hves, and I never wear anything larger than threes!" Salesman
 "These are threes, lady, but, you see. there's been such 8 demand for them we've been obliged to mark them up." Shopper-"Well guess I'll take them. thought they could not be fves. s."-Boston Transcript.