The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-02-19
BRIGHT BITS.

RUSSIAN NOVELIST was recently arrested on
suspicion of being implicated in a plot They
read his works. He was discharged.
TELL young man he should have a mission
Ia Inc world, and the chances are that he viii
70 20 Washington and ask for foreign mission
-Neto Orleans Picdyune.
TO AVOID TROUBLE in money matters hus-
Dand should always make his wife an allowance
frooably she will have to keep making allow
snces for him. and that will sort of even mat
ters up-SomerUILe Journal
DALBEY-1 am proud to say never had an
enemy that didn't get square with
Wagtau-H you would only pursue the same
pan with your friends, Dalbey, several of the
boys would be sporting new spring overcoats-
1erTe Hdute Express.
GooD DAxE-I was so glad to learn that Won
h na at last joined the anti swearing society
but why didn't you join before.
Young Man-Too expensive The fines used
10 De dime for everything: but lately the
rates nave been reduced to six cusses for
quarter-Nelc York Weekly
Mrs WNKs-Folks say Mr.. Weed the cigar
manufacturer, was converted at the revival last
night. ''''
1ur "inks-Guess It's true. stepped in this
morning for my favorite brand of two-for- five
cigars, and noticed the card Pure Havana"
ha4 been moved over to the 15-cent box-Phtld-
detpbtG Record
=, BAD Blow. FOR BASE BALI hear.
Moike, observed Mr. McQuacharty. that the
pope is nfther writu' ietther shuttn down
on the National League"
is thai SO: responded Mr. Finegan. 'I
nope, thlD, that he won't put a sthop to the As
Soclatlon, or there won't be no base ball in the
country worth spakn' av''-Draks's MdQd-
zine. "'
BINGLEY-Well, have you patented anything
IuVentor-O, yes. have Just received letters
patent Tor my new Prize Fight Suspender But
ton 81 'gest snap OF the century.
=, Blngiey-What makes you call it the Prize
lnventor-It never comes or.-Terre Haute
Express.
-, MIsTREss-Mercy on me, whas a kitchen
Every pot pan and dish is dirty. the ia lie looks
like junk shop, aad-why, it viii take Won a
week - get things cleaned up! What have you
servant-Sure, mum, the young leddes has
just been down here showing me how tbav
roast potato at the cooking school-NeD
YORK. Weekly.
scccEssFrL AFFAIR.-Wife to her hus
band, physician)-Did you stop at the Van
couver ball to night William?
Physiclan-For few minutes my dear
Nife-Did it seem to be a successful AFFAIR."
Physician-Oh, yes; while | was tbere
young lady fell in a ia ntng condition and
prescribed for her. Here is her fathers card
Hdrpers Bdzdr.
PHoroGRAPHER dmpatiently)-I thought Won
called yourself a first-class retoucher?
New Man eS, Sir; that is my profession
Huh! This negative of Miss Snubnose the
wealthy young society actress, is a botch, per
feet botcl, sr1'
"Eh, What's the matter with it?"
Matter! Great Daguerre Why, it still looks
like her. " Philadelphia Record.
A Parental ADMoSITIoN.-Stern Parent
Johnnie. / am informed that you use a great
deal of slang. Is it true?
'Yes, SIR
Ana have cautioned you against the vulgar
hol Nff sT,ff fF,,ag 7
that if you persist in using slang, I'll take that
strap from the wall and you'll find yourself in
the soup. '-Ne6IdStG state JdW'adi.
A CoNSoIssEUR- Dawde-Where does this
man Alkali come from that desires to join our
art club?
Bangle-He's from Arizona
Dawdle-Arizona? What does he know about
arr, anyhow:
Bangle-Why, my dear boy, he told me him
self he was chairman OF the hanging committee
several times in Coyote Gulch.-LOiceU citizen.