Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-02-08
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Caught on the fy-Trout.
Two physicians are a paradox.
The burning 9ucstion-Smoke.
Preside companion The poker.
A loan tcllow.-Thc pawnbroker.
Unpopular prescrvcs-Jim-ja jams.
A writ of attachmcnt-A love letter.
Old maids know what a mis- spent life
means.
The oldest and most inveterate smoker
in history is Nesuvius.
1t is the astronomer who most FIRE
Qucntly rises to observe.
When man doubles his fists you can
hardly say he has four hands.
The man who lives from hand to
mouth should not have far to 20 for his
dinner.
TO make Russian name--imitate the
''tchuy" OF n bull frog, give one snccLe
and say "sli."
Honor and respect the busy bee.
Once full he makes straight for home.
-Nc,o liOrk Ne,os.
A young New England baby was
named William after his father, who was
bilious. -H's7c,'S Ba<ar.
The manufacturers of perforated chair
seats have combined. Their object can
be seen through, and will be sat upon.
A barking dog is the most courteous
OF all animals. lie makes his bow to
every passer-by. = Binghamton hepuJ-
iic0R.
Money can slip through n pretty small
hole sometimes. A Brooklyn man lost n
considerable sum lately through pew
rent.
All the street cars have sign "no
smoking" and vet any conductor will
hclpa woman to lisht.-Ne,O York.
World
a good many of the cashiers who are
settling IN Canada are those who have
neglected to do any settling over here
Nt,o Iora MccS
Woman Ito tramp Flows the soupi"
Tramp-''rain't quite strong enough,
maam. | wish you would wash few
more dishes in it,"
Waiter-'You want frogs, chi"
Guest-"Not zee whole animaiie, I want
zee. vat you call lim-zee drumsteeks.
Philadelphia Record.
Brown-"Did you dispose of that last
lyric yon wrotc!" Young Byron-"O
yes, l got it off on the publishers for
song" Ia"kee Blade.
Duluth people say that that city is
growing SO rapidly that, sitting down IN
the suburbs, with the city against the
skyline, you can see it grow.
sit requires only two things to run
successful campaign, sad the politi-
clan. And what are thcy?" asked q
bystander. "Dollars and sense"
Trump, picking up five cent piece
"a bloody nickel, hum. Wasn't nothin'
but Jonah all my life. Anybody else
but me II pick'd up that nickel and it "a
been quarIer, sure" (Si.hs).
Shakespeare was slightly mixed in his
"scven ages" 1t is the whining
school boy" whom the maternal eye has
detected in some fragrant act of dis
! obedience that shifts into the slippered
| pantaloon."
Leader of the Boggsvillc male quintet
to editor of the Doggsvilc Heluid-
"What can we do to interest the public
in our organization?" Editor without
| looking up)--"Disband. - BuyLington
| free ircrs.
a baby girl in Missouri has been named
| it"'hooh. .HNtS'H years IcnCc, when
she is caught in Il summer shower, she
should feel very much at home, although
she would then be little rain deer
| NOJTiStOtcn IHrdki.
They say the German Emperor
Is spelling to pitch in:
he sharpeis up his spurs and Tonga
| 10 make the sawdust spin,
| w no wants to pit cocl; against
The Bantam of Beriin:'
-Burfingf0n Free Press
Lnwyer-''So that is the entire list of
! your debts" lnsolvent Manager-"Oh.
no; there are many other little items"
Lawyer you want me to add
them in detal1" Managcr-"No; just
say. for further particulars see small
J bills. "--.lmerica.
An exchange wants the name of the
man who invented the wheclbarrow :;
but what many more persons crave is the
name OF the man who lets his wheel
barrow stand in the middle of the side
walk after dark. The latter is more
deserving Of death. No,risto.cn Herald.
''Did that lady buy anythine?" asked
the jewelcr of his new boy, as the lady
in question left the store, apparently in
a temper. ">hc did not. she asked
me for an old gold breast min, and I
asked her if she took this store for Junk
| ahOp rrho, clio ,,.... =,