Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-12-21


-=---==----- for short essay.
| am safe from the fear OF offending
any of my masculine readers. since, of
course, no resemblance could exist be
tween any of them and the unpoetic,
unpleasant ones among these types.
There is the elderly widower, who Is
inconsolablc for the loss of his first
companion, though patiently looking
about for his second one.
The man with homely wife who is
desperately Jealous of her.
The homely man whose pretty wife
is desperately Jealous of him.
The deeply scientific man, who re-
CARDS all women as poor. reriohinS
packages of protoplasm. This person
can analyZe all the poetry out of June
moonlight, or the perfume and senti
meut ont of white roses.
The playful and portlv individual
who always insists upon telling you a
little story that is a trihe broad" "you
know. Ia, ha.' This party is apt to
grow familiar upon brief nc acquaintance,
unless You freeze him by briefest mon
osyllablcs; yet, after all, he is harm
less creature, generally extremely tire
some.
Then we have all seen the sharp Tex
tremelv sharp man, with inquisitiye
nose and little ferret eyes. He is
confident that he can see through any
thing and anybody at a mere glance.
His wife knows better than to try to
fool him, she does" He watches over
his housekeeping. knows how many
papers of pins will last an average fami-
ly through the year, and never permits
the hired girl to use two yeast cakes in
making the bread when one and half
will do as well.
Then there is the Young man who is
so dreadfully wicked (or who wishes
to make YOU believe that he Isl that he
spends all of his leisure trying to think
of some dreadful sin that he has not
vet committed in order that he NAV
rush right away and perpetrate it.
This desperate youth has mo faith in
woman, not the least"
Quite common type is the cool
headed, lo5ophical genus, who
marries meek, rustic maiden with the
intention of molding her into an ideal
wife.
An imposing type is the extremely
moral and financially sound puritanical
individual, whose very broadcloth
would culver with righteous horror if
he was obliged to talk an hour with a
frivolous female. This kind of man
would look at you, should you say
Good morning" to him in careless,
| light hearted way, as though you We're
! intriguing to capture him for some ter
riblc purpose. He is always ION
| guard"
Then there is the neglected genus,
with pantaloons fraycd at the bottoms,
| whose wife does not appreciate him at
all but who still loves her entirely ont
of the fullncss of his big chivalrous
heart, as lie takes pains to tell you, for
| You might become hopelesslv interest
ed in him otherwise, and he only seeks
| in You a kind of intellectual companion,
which really means that he wants the
right TO bore YOU with his stupid liter
airy cfiusions, and, should his wife lie
an invalid, by long accounts of her diff
fercnt ailments. This creature is one
of the most naively selfish of beings; he
ends his acquaintance with you by COM
| promising Won in the eyes OF the one
man in all the world for whose good
| opinion You care most, and finally quar-
| relS with YOU because you do not fol
low his advice in choosing your friends.
Another variety, about as unpleasant
as the one first described, is the old
man, the very old man with grown-up
| children, who talks continually about
my son John and my darter Jane.
| He is widower, and extremely mod
est in his ambition, only desiring a
wife who shall be Young, goodlOoking,
| saving" and good nurse, for he is
| laid up with rheumatism two-thirds of
| the time; and she must have q snug
| little property" in her own right so
that son John and "darter" Jane may
not forbid the banns. This pleasing
mass of egotisticai imbec.lity ought to
be confined in an asylum for elderly
idiots.
Then we have seen the matter, of
fact, quiet man, who is apt, upon occa-
sion, to surprise You by giving evi-
| dence of latent chiyalroUSness and fine
ness of sentiment. His opposite type
Is often scen--thc picturesque aud
losing man, who is extremely coarse
and selfish; the man who is liked bet
ter by women than by men, the man
who is a great favorite with men; the
| pale, sad looking young man, who cap
tivates the fancy by his mysterious
| silence. When Won break through the
crust of melancholy reserve, yof find
that his mental faculties are engaged
large part of the time in wrestling
with the problems of what he shall
have for his dinner, the residue of his
leisure being employed in first obtain.
ing the price of his dinner.
Men as tictionists.
The romantic liar, with entertain.
ing story of his adventure.
The malicious liar.
Men as gossips.
The supcrannuated masher, with
bald plate like polished gourd, and
brains as trifiing rs its rattling seeds
He stands at street corners and leers
at feminine passers-bv.
These are few of the more common
types of masculinitv To look at the
brighter portions of this picture is fan
pleasauter for one who would fain
idealize and revere, rather than de.
tract from or sneer at.
| There is one character very seldom
met with and not to be forgotten even
I when it is found-the typical Ameri
can man. | say MAN advisedly, be,
cause the typical American man is al,
ways gentleman also. If cultured in
the worlds ways and versed in bookisl
lore, still will certain breezy