News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1889-03-14
GOTHAM'S FAKIRS.
SOME HUMBUGS OF THE GREAT
METROPOLIS EXPOSED.
The High-Art Auctioneer and His
Hired Connoisseurs-T Leaping
Statue Seller-The Man who Seems
to Give Watches.

tie pulpit. All the loungers ON Broad
way know him a study. He has amused
them often. His is pure type OF tho
Bowery tough-tlIln, why, yellow skin
ned, hatche1 faced, and IN seedy attire.
-4M@re talks he tIlz-lsts ont his rhin
and NaFes q long, gaunt hand at the
person he speaks to, always keeping the
fingers of that hand close together as
though it were a fipper.
Dat dere's picture you wUnt see
every day. Der frame alone is wort's
eight dollars; d We understand he says,
as he points his fiipper-hke hand at one
OF the pictures and then shoves it out
at the faces of the men who stand close
together in front of him and his pulpit.
They are studies also. They have a
sort of family resemblance to him-a
Bowery knship with him. They look
hungry and eager, with faces like new
sharpened knives and eyes like little
polished buttons. The coat of one is
buttoned tight to his neck and looks as
II 1t had no vest beneath it. The but
tons OF the trousers of another are frayed
Another has no cuffs, and yet his com
panlon has cuffs big enough for two men
and striped collar that would serve for
the sign of a laundry. They all listen
with looks betokening intense interest
to what the auctiOneer is saying. They
seem to forget that they are PLAYING the
parts OF so many art connoisseurs, to
whom money is no object, come in to
pick up treasures at a bargain.
Il say der frame alone is wort eight
dollars. SeeR Now, what am / offered
for der painting. It's der work of one
of Americas finest artists, and it's liza
bic fer to go at a bargain on account of
der time of year when everybody's get
ting ready fer to go to Europe. What
am l offered 2"
Give yer q dollar fifty" saws the
man with the frayed trouser bottoms.
"A-a-a-h," said the auctionecr, with
manifest disgust "brush der flies off
yerself. Didn't l tell yer der der frame
alone is wort $50"
Twenny shilling, says the man with
the acreage of cuffs
Two dollars an ha'f; two dollars
an a haf-now dat's something like !
two dollars an a ha'f-goin' goin' goin', |
GONE-to Mr.. Mailer, OF Melrose."
Two men about town, who have been |
directed to make an experiment. saunter |
into the. place They are elegantly /
dressed, and look well fed and com
placent. They sauntcr in a few steps.
and suddenly it seems as if one of them
was charmed with one of the daubs he
secs on the wall near by. 1t is picture
of a river of blue ink floating between .
two hills of yellow cheese uiIoIcr = SKY :
which resembles ssn olaelettc.
That's a stuuing sky effect" one of
the two dandies whispers To the other
Before any one would t.-lievc it pos
sible, the alert and wiry auctioneer has
stepped from his little pulpit He
pushes his way past all the art connois-
seurs and men of means he has been
addressing. 1t would seem as though
he regarded them with contempt, in
spite of the fact that he has been assid-
uously calling upon their taste and
Judgment to bear witness to the merits
of his pictures, and also despite the fact
that they have been buying whatever he
offered as fast as he could knock the
goods down to them.
'sDis1l be der next picture we will sell
gentlemen. Its 'tracted more attention
and praise from dem what knows art dan
any picture In the co.leckshin. A man
wot amt no slouch of u painter himself
an intimate fren' of mine-says to
me yesterday, he says, Mr.. Storms,
dat dere's lola, n dandy. Jist see der
gToun', tones an der effect of light and
heat, says he, AN der-what yer might t
call der nature-in dec whole business
He'd have bought it right off soon as
he seen it-sce only he jist picked /
up half dozen other fine works
afore he came to it. Now what am / I
offered for der work of art, gentlemen Z" /
The will-dressed men about town |
saunter out at this point and one Of the |
hungry lockers on has the pictures I
knocked down to him Mt 81. The we'll |
dressed men go away convinced of the |
truth of what they have been told, that /
the auctioneer's listening crowd is paid |
to stand around and to make believe |
buy pictures just to give the place ON !
appearance of being alive, and that he |
will not miss the faintest sign of look |
of interest IN any picture on the walls /
if such a look is bestowed by any per-
son not in his flock of hired attendants.
1t is said that this picture seller dis
appears for weeks at time IN the sum-
mer, in order to work another original
plan he has for disposing of works of
high art. He and partner go out in q
wagon with the paintings on the wagon
bottom hidden under the straw. They
stop at the farmhouses and say they are
poor artists who have been sketching
nearby. Each offers thepicture he car
ries as sketch of some place IN the vi
cinity, very vaguely located. They are
are>so earnest and depict themselves as
SO v-il,iRg to take anything in exchange
t,r tire paintings that they nearly always
= drive a bargain. They take eggs,
cheeses, home made stockings, and all
and everything they can gather up.
Further down town than their store
is a man selling albaster ornaments,
statuettes, and busts. He does bust
ness in the same way as the picture men,
with just such another crowd of mock
buyers. The difference is that this
mans attendants are all foreigners
The great peculiarity of this auctioneer,
the loungers about town all say, is that
he can leap from his little pedestal as
far as fifteen feet TO secure customer.
The instant any customers eyes betray
interest in anything on the shelves the
auctioneer makes a grand leap, like the
flight of flying squirrel, to land square
ly IN front of the customer, to put down
what he has in his hand, to pick up what
ever the customer has looked at, and to
begin marvellous flow of talk
''Ah, hal You looka at ther bootiful
'SapphO, is it notl 1t is the model-a of
the 'Sappho, by Cadondal, the famous
artista-a of Paris. You Ikea dat? You
want-a buy-a the bootiful piece-a2 The
prIce-a of data fine worl1-a is seven dol
lar. NoE You cannot aiford-a dat (?
Well, make-a der price fve-a dollar.
Every Inca, every touch-a everything-a
is perfect, joost Ikea der real ting
The cheap watch auctioneer has no
settled habitation. He was in a little
shop close to the Brooklyn Bridge in the
autumn, and since then he has spent
month in Varick street. month in up
per Eighth avenue, month in the
Bowery and month in Second avenue.
His paraphernalia includes set of show
cases full of very good-looking silver
watches, with a small sprinkling of gold
watches among them. He stands behind
his show cases with his crowd of re-
tainers on the other side, looking, lis
tening, and making believe to buy. He
practically gives his watches away to
his heelers.
sfWhat mi offered for this kernom-
eter2" he asks. "Its warranted agin
magnetism, s got dust-proof caponto it,