The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1889-02-07
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.


First impressions may be lasting. |
that is in love and matters in which |
reason and cool judgment play no part. |
But to know a country you must GER
tainly live IN it. After having lived in |
q country where emigration has been |
rapid, you viii have learned that if |
there is any one thing in which nature
has left you wholly deficient, il is In
your ability to give other people of a |
tendency advice. We would
expect just as satisfactory results
should we advise a young man to mar
~ the first young lady who called at
the postofice on q given afternoon, as
to advise friend to emigrate to a new
country. Should you read this and
the following communications, you
need not expect to find any advice on
the cardinal question as TO whetheryou
shall sell out and move TO Southern
California. You have probably heard
all about 1t long ago. How hot, how
cold; how wet and dry, and how alto
gether lovely, and miserable, it is.
Every new arrival in a new Country
is sure to favor his friends and punish
some editor with a description of the
country. Such descriptions are based
on first impressions, and therefore are
wholly unreliable.
The NEWS will please excuse Us for
saying that an editor, whatever his
shortcomings may be in other things,
is always patriotic to the country IN
which he lives, and his publications
against all other localities are some
times as bitter as those of the Cali
fOrnia editor are ridiculously. sweet on
California. Having read the home pa
pers here in California for the past
year, we sometimes wonder how 1t was
that during a sixteen years residence
in Kansas we did not fetch up some
where in the happy hunting ground.
The California editor can never find
type quite large enough for the
headlines of an eastern cyclone. His
ability for making rich, warm
succulent hash out of Dakota blizzard
is marvellous.
We are, after all, at loss to know
how, during our sixteen years OF Kan
sas life. W. escaped lightning, sunstrOke
and sickness, how it happened that our
character did not blow away. How we
escaped cyclones, floods and cOnsti-
tutiOnal drouth is mystery. Having
been spared we are convinced that
Providence must have helped us out
and we are determined to tell the
truth and shame-the California real
estate agents.
Well, the wind did use to blow in
Kansas, but the grass, the corn, the
hogs and the cattle seemed to stand
it. While we of California, discuss
the horrors of the eastern climate at
our breakfast tables, we pass each
other Kansas ham or breakfast bacon
and the garbage OH the common of
the towns and in the farmers back
yard are principally composed OF empty
tin cans that were packed with meats
in Kansas City. Even the spring
chicken you meet in Los Angeles
restaurant has for many years tipped
and tilted and struggledto hold its own
ON a cold windy Kansas HOoSt.
While we are eating your meats you
are sending us good money FOL
oranges, rasins. honey. and dried and
canned fruits. We would also ship
you climate but the railroads won't
make rates sufficiently low and be-
sides, it would not agree with youl
crops and live stock. 1t is well as ii
is, and we ought to be good friends
we do not hold maRice on account OF
l yOuI " AOA o.
our wine we are beginning to wonder
if we had better not do without it II
public.
You have heard of the boom
Oh, yes, it was audible away back
even in Bosting and there ART
people living there who haven't
as yet gathered themselves altogether
up. We did not intend to let it go of
quite so soon. We knew well enough il
was loaded heavy, but we were still
examining wadding down when the con
founded thing blew up. The old-tlmel
and the tenderfoot were blown in heal
together; some who had gone for more
ammunition escaped and now say -
told you sou Everybody was stunned
| Nobody seemed to understand It, ant
when the smoke began 70 clear a littl'
some might have been seen with NOR
wadding cropping about in the Smudg
trying to find the muZZle of the yer.
gun that had exploded. A few endeav
Ored to gather up the pieces, put then
together and load the thing over again
but the pieces were too few. Then w
all began to cuss one another. Nobod,
had put a cap on the thing; nobod.
had cooked it, and not living soul hat
touched the trigger. The more w,
tried to locate the fault the more w
differed. Some even went 50 far as t.
say that the whole trouble was in tn
loading; that there was not enough am
munition put IN the gun; that it wa
not proper for an excited mob to load
gun anyway.
We concluded to do something els,
and we are doing it, and we have rea
son to believe that if less exciting tn
result will be far better than the gu
act was, Looking back at the tim
when reason sat with an idiotic grin o.
her throne of thin fog and beckoned hu
mainly to walk over ths precipice an
tread the pavement of climate beyond
we see hanging in the FOOLS gallery O
our memory a few pictures that W
think worth description. There is
long line of excited individuals stand
ing in row which reaches down stair
and out on the sidewalk
Los Angeles impatiently waItjn
through the night for a real estat
Office to open in the morning. \ new
boy, who fell into the line just to sc
what would come of it, sells out his pC
sition for more money than he ever e2
pected to own. Positions up at tll
head of the row sell for money enoug
to buy a comfortable home. You NIGH
easily suppose that Paradise had bee
subdivided, and was to be sold in acr
lots in the morning. But 1t IS only
, new town, staked off in the brus
among the rocks of an ancient rive
wash. Three competitive towns hav
started within two and half to fiv
: miles of it, and there is no good reaso
to believe that it can make at beS
more than a small village. but thes
men are waiting to contract lots &
1920 each. The sale goes off, and som'
r body monkeyed with the trigger of til
) above mentioned gun about the sam
, time
Picture No. shows ranchma
r selling farm land to town company &
! 5000 per acre. He receives his frs
! payment and laughs in his sleey'
You can see up sleeve in this pie
ture). The company puts up strin
: of electric-light wire and few chea
3 lamps, to light the imaginary streets
ships out a small dynamo, and th
thing is wound up, for one night onl!
4 The lamps flicker and fizzle, and G
out in the morning for all time. The
as the scheme looks people bite. Th