Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-03-12
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
A Little of the Lighter side OF Life Briefly
Touched Upon.


Touched Upon.
THERE was time" said theatrical man q
few days ago, when the critics of the newspa-
pers throughout the country were not as in
corruptible as they generally are to-day. In
those days, and 1 am speaking of an era not
beyond the recollection of middle-aged man,
it could not have been said, as The DISPATCH
truthfully remarked the other day, that the
dramatic critics were beyond the reach of a
smart manager.
81 remember case in point Once upon a
time 1 was engaged to manage an actress
whose only claim for recognition was her great
beauty. She was lovely woman and des-
perately bad actress. The backer of the show
had not very fat bank account, so I had to
rely upon my stars good looks and charming
manners of the stage to pull us through. We
got along fairly well till we reached a large
city, where knew the principal newspaper had
a disagreeable habit of making things lively
for stars who, travelled on anything but sheer
ability to act.
81 was afraid of the dramatic editor of that
paper, but resolved to try my best to square
him. My previous experience with him taught
me that he had an eye for feminine beauty. I
told my star, therefore, that she must try her
best to charm this critical ogre into amiability.
and promised her that I would give her a
proper opportunity"
So
ION the afternoon of the Monday our COM
pany was to appear for the first time 1 visited
the captious critic, and begged him to take
dinner with me at the hotel he agreed, but
dropped very plain hint that must not ex-
pect any favors in the critical line.
81 arranged that my fair principal should
dine with us, and bade her try her best to cap
ture the critic. Dressed very modestly but
most becomingly, she appeared at dinner,
which was served in private room. and l ex-
planned to my guest that her presence was acci-
dental-that had invited her to dine with me
and had forgotten the engagement
"She exerted herself nobly, and when the
dinner was over knew that we were safe-that
at least there would be no slashing critique,
and that perhaps we might get favorable
notice.
''The result exceeded my hopes; the paper
which had feared so much had pleasant and
tolerably long article next day, in which the
writer laid stress upon my stars beauty and
allowed the inference to be drawn that she was
good actress as we'll
There was a change of bill:in the middle of
the week, but was not anxious, for the first
notice had been favorable without exception.
What was my surprise the next morning when
read in the paper have spoken of perfect
of the brightest things of the kind I've ever
seen, but you can imagine that didn't appre-
ciate the slaughter of my star. Late in the
day the critic of the paper called to see me. He
said he'd been sick the day before, and another
member of the editorial force had taken his
place at the theater. Well, there was no
remedy for any of us, but the critic, think,
was tine worst hurt"
A CURIOUS phenomenon came under my eyes
on Saturday, which goes to illustrate the disa-
greeable side of a locomotive engineers life.
Seated in the corner of the car nearest to the
locomotive of the fastest local express that
runs out of this city, the Beaver Falls express
on the Fort Wayne, clear view Of the track
ahead was afforded me. 1t was showing just
enough to make it difficult to see more than 200
yards ahead of the train.
As soon as the train clears the city limits it
runs at speed ranging from 30 to go miles an
hour. and often for a mile or two strikes a
steady gait of not less than mile minute.
AT Jacks Run station saw a man deliberately
cross the track not so yards ahead of our train.
When we came to Bellevue station a small boy
waited on the south side of the track till the
train was less than so yards away. and then ran
over to the north eide. For a moment 1
thought the boy was under the wheels, SO mar
rowly did he escape. Thereafter for distance
of mile or so at every station, and at every
possible crossing, some one appeared to be
waiting to put his life in jeopardy.
Perhaps locomotive engineers get used to
avoiding involuntary manslaughter by hairs
breadth, with an occasional exception where a
human being is knocked into the next world as
a reward for his foolhardiness. but the unhard-
ened traveller cannot help but wish that rail-
road tracks were better Inclosed, and that the
penalty for trespassing on them were high and
regularly enforced.