Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-03-28
THE CATS OF SOME WOMEN.
They Walk So Badly That One OF Their
Sex Utters Complaint

They Walk So Badly That One OF Their
Sex Utters Complaint
Why in the name of common meter
don't the women learn how to walke
IT the power for which the immortal
Bobby" prayed could be conferred
upon the feminine portion of Gotham
who walk up Broadway, that they
might .tsee themselves as others see
them" for just one trip, they would HE
them to a teacher in locomotion, if
such an individual could be found.
The dear things don't seem to take
into consideration the fact that all the
arts of modiste, corset manufacturer,
or cosmetiques are of small avail to
make them attractive so long as they
do not '.take heed to their steps,"
We can readily excuse a woman
from whom the suppleness of youth
has fled, or who is crippled, or one who
tips the scales at a tenth of ton or
over. if she doesn't sail along like bit
of thistledown, but when a young girl
1.-the and slender, whose anatomy is
strictly orthodox, comes toward you
with a movement suggestive Of the
days when the ''grasshopper becomes
burden" there is an involuntary
wonderment as to what can be the mat
ter with her.
It seems as if the majority of women
have only one idea, and that is to get
over the ground, no matter how. One
is reminded of the advice the lemonade
boys give on the fourth of July: ''Walk
up. roll up, tumble up, any way to
get up"
Take your stand upon Broadway
corner some pleasant afternoon and
vou will be convinced that this is true.
| About one woman in 100 knows how
to walk. The most of them have the
lazy, languorous, Indifferent, "quick or
the dead" (mostly dead) fashion of
getting on, but occasionally you see one
who comes spanking along like a cor
poral in the militia; shoulders painful
| " squared. chin in the air, arms
swinging, and she imagines she's got
the genuine British gait you know.
| Another appears who has evidently
been reading about Mrs. Langtry's
walk and is trying to copy it. She at
| tempts to move her hips without NOV
| ing her shoulders, and the effort is not
altogether pleasing when viewed from
the rear, as she Invariably forgets
| that the Lily wears neither corset nor
| hustle. Then there are lot of women
who walk just exactly like hens, keep.
| ing time to every step with a backward
motion of the head. There are others
who travel a la Bernhardt, and you
stand in momentary expectation of
seeing them fall to pieces. The sinu-
Gus. sepentlike slide of the supple
c. s,,ir fol IL n ha~ n
full gowns.
In order to walk we'll woman must
be well. But all women in perfect
health do not move gracefully.
| Those who spend their time lolling
about on sofas and take a carriage to
go block have limp, iabby muscles,
utterly devoid of spring. They are
fat and unweildy. One needs to visit
the different Turkish bath establish.
ments to learn how many women are
built after marble models. Once in a
| while there appears one, clean-lim bed
and symmetrical, with clear, healthy
skin, muscled SO compactly and yet in
such dainty curves that you long to be
an artist. Not an ounce of supertlu'
Gus flesh. her breast as firm as globe
of alabaster, shoulders that, like the
dimple in Katashau's elbow, people
would come miles to see. Her eyes
are bright, because she has perfect
health. and her lips are red for the
same reason. Fer hair is glossy, be-
cause she takes care of it as she does
of her body, and if she has not one
classic feature in her face you call her
beautiful, and if you are woman you
envy her with all your soul.
That woman doesn't have Mysteries
aud nervous chills and cold sweats
and all the other things that make
herself and all her friends miserable
She doesn't entertain her friends with
accounts of her woes, physical and
otherwise. Not she; her presence is
like wine; she is a perpetual tonic, ano
you can safely wager all you are worth
that she knows how to walk.
1t is safe to assert that when the
women of America get thoroughly
awake to the fact that physical devel.
opment is the greatest help to physical
beauty that can be devised NERVOUS
prostration" will cease to be the fash
ion and neurosthenia become unknown
-NeU York Press.