Morning journal and courier., 1889-10-10
QUEER.


It is queer coincidence that dates and
numerals are both natives of Arabia.-Ex-
change.
Honor Among Thieves.-Old Lady-"sir,
you've stole my daughters love-" Una
Dashed Culprit-s'Well, didn't return It'll"
Time.
The female organist of Utica church has
eloped and married a fourteen year old boy
who pumped the organ. The affair has tax
en- the wind out of the choir.
Republican.
A Queer Language.-"It says in the paper
that the Blank Carpet Mills have shut down.
What does that mean, Isaaci' "It means that
the Blank Carpet Mills have shut up."-Har-
per's Bazaar.
A Bargain. Tired -*'Mamma, how
-"A quarter, my dear. Whyp Tired Child
(gaping)-"Well, the preacher gives an awful
lot for the money" y."-Munsey's Weekly.
Benevolent old chap Ito Italian peanut sell
ler)-"Why do you sell these peanuts in
stead of going to workf' Italian-"More
mon'." B. O. C.-"Mormon, ehi Well,
suppose your wives have driven all the am
bition out of you."-Lawrenee American.
Young Miss Wilgus-"Where are you 60
ing, papaa" Rev. Mr. Wilgus-."To the ten-
perance meeting. We intend to inaugurate
a movement to save the young men OF the
country" Young Miss Wilgus-''Try and
save real nice one for me, will you, papa
deara'-Terre Haute Express.
The man who didn't notice the mistake the
grocer made in giving him short change for a
en-dollar bill, because he thought the bill
was counterfeit, found out afterward that he
had given the grocer the wrong bill, and now
he has made solemn VOW to kick himself
ever time the clock strikes. -Somerville
Journal.
Waiting for an Opportunity-Old lady ION
the limited l-"Does the train stop for re-
freshments at Canesawsgys" Porter-"Yes
ma'am. Shall Telegraph an order ahead
for youa" Old Lady-7Oh, no. I've got a
know when I'd have chance to eat it."-
brakes Magazine.
ST am dying of hunger" says madame to
her husband on returning from a shopping
tour. "Why didn't you stop at a restaurant
and get somethingi" ooh, I don't like to
spend money uselessly." "Well, did you
find what you wanteds" "Yes, indeed, some
lovely little hats at ninety-five francs" "
After pause-"I took four of them."-Le
Figaro.
Polite Gentleman Ito lady in front, at the
theater)-"I beg your pardon, madam, bat
won't you be kind enough to press that
AoWeE Ou top VI youi AneS Juoo q hesAS' 1.ay
-"Certainly. There. Will that doY'
eyes, thank you. Now can see the lead
ing lady's bangs very nicely. was wonder
ing what color her hair was" ."-Brooklyn
Citizen.
"Papa, what is a doubtful Statea" asked
little Freddy, who had been looking over the
political news. Marriage is a doubtful
state, my son." answered Brown, with hu,
morous twinkle in his eye as he looked at bis
better half. "Den't you think SO, Mrs.
Browna" "No, don't think it's state al
ALL" she answered. "To me it always seemed
like terror-t tory" Brown was silent.-Ex'
| change.
cat Home Tuesdays in March from 3 unit
6 O'clock" read simple-minded old lady OF
the wedding cards of young couple of he
acquaintance. "Well, well" she said, ,depre
catingly, "Carrie was always an awful gir
| to 60, but did think she'd stop her gaddine
round and settle down after she married; bui
this looks like she expected to go it worse
than ever when she has to send out notice
that she won't be at home but three hours q
week. Great housekeeping she'll do at that
rate! I pity her hasbandl"-Chioago Ad-
vance.