Morning journal and courier., 1889-03-04
LAUGH BILE.

Miss Westend-s'And can you always judge of mans character by the way he laughs?' Social philosopher-"Oh, no; not by the way he laughs, but by what he laughs at. ."-New York Weekly. They were sitting in the theater. One of them had got little confused about the play. "What act is thisa The fourtha" "No; it's sI know it's the third. I've only had two drinks. ."-San Francisco Chronicle.
 Mistress-"Marie, I saw you kissing g man at the kitchen door this morning. I want you to understand that I will not stand that sort of thing at all." Marie-'Pardon me, madam; did not know the young man was friend of yours. It shall not occur again" -Terre Haute Express.
 Washington has struck new craze that is said to be extensively English The un- married women of that city have taken to wearing specially designed garter on the left limb. It is a sort Of supplementary af- fair, and is never to be taken off, day or night, for one year.-New York Sun.
 Ned-It is no exaggeration of Harrison's capacity for silence, Harry, to call him 8 sghinx.
 "Why sop
 s'Why, he got shave, hair cut and a shampoo just before starting for Washing ton, and not even the barber could get up conversation with him.-Chicago Herald.
 Simonstern (the auctioneer)-"Here I haf chenuine tiamont ring, vort' dree hundert und feefty tollar. Der widow ohf man dot died sudden has godder sell it. How mooeh am offert?'
 Customer (promptly)-'Tenc cents" Simonstern-"Take it away, unt pay at der desk. Chakey, bring der nexd lot!' Judge.
 Poung Pinchpennye Cat the club)-I hear that some temperance crank says that the abolition of treating would put stop to in~ temperance. What rot! Curtewit-Well, Pinchpennye, if nobody treated, it would put stop to yours, at least.
 (There is ill-feeling between the two).- Town Topics.
 Miss Bacon Ghey have been discussing orchids)-''And now, professor, want you to tell me all about the plant from which electricity is made" Professor Hohonthy (aghast)-"The which?" Miss Bacon-"You certainly must have heard of it. Father says it's high cost prevents the general use of electric lighting-I mean the electric plant" " l Harper's Bazaar.
 Pleasantly Put-Editor-"I am pleased to 1 observe, Mrs. Blanque, that you are 8 sub | scriber to my magazine. Do you find that Infancy helps you at all?" Mrs. Blanque- s'Oh, indeed, yes. give it to the baby in stead of his fathers books, and he doesn't | N"SS3 VI | get very mad when Charlie tore his books te pieces.-Harpers Bazar. | Customer (angrily)-"Look here, Hafton what do you mean by sending me this coa
 bill second time. Why, man, paid that
 bill month ago and got receipt for it!'
 Hafton Consulting the books)-'Um! Ah
 Yes. see Well, don't mind that, my deal l fellow. You see, my son WAS graduated ! from business college, and this is some 0.
 his double-entry bookkeeping. ."-Puck. l Grocer (to clerk)-What are you doing there, Henry?
 Henry-I am picking dead flies out of those | dried currants.
 Grocer You just let lem alone. Do you | suppose that am running this business fol | funt Do you think that I come down here
 early at morning and toll all day just for the | spirit of the things You let those flies alone I-Arkansaw Traveller.
 Fste's Revenge.-Bottanny (at the Metro politan Museum-"Let's see your catalogue
 of Old Masters Painterly. Hans Makar
 was one Of lem, wasn't hea" Painterly-
 Hardly, my boy. He hasn't been dead ter years" Bottanny-"Ohl" Painterly Gan hour later in the Museum of Natural History I-"Isn't that beautifula How on earth dc
 they keep those leaves looking so fresh:'
 Bottanny-"Wax, my boy. wax, Ha, ha?"