The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-09-03

man crazy 1T times. Always Oub Vi oIuei
bothersome Just when you want them
most. Always q pin to be stuck here, or
a ribbon to be fixed when you are III q
great hurry. fA
"Girl?n
mo, machine. The girl part Is gener-
ally more unmanageable h the me
chanical part. They are expensive things
to have around. Always wanting their
elbows, joints and fingers Strengthened
or frightened. Always wanting. .greas1ng
u needing ribbons constantly"
The machines?'
Yes. machines this time. DO you know
that nave been tempted for some Tune
the consequences"
The girl?"
Eyes, the girl. L would do it in a min
ute If it was not for the fact that to marry
her would be to lose an able office assist
ant, and at the same time to get a VIE
who would be posted on the ~pecuiaritles
OF typewriters, and would have an eye on
the office, and would want to select all
my future typewriters."
You mean the machines?"
NO, the girls. She would take care
that l obtained, nothing but the stupidest
and most homely, you know, and would
want them to be reserved and respectful.
IL marry my present typewriter ex-
pect to ave a red haired, freckled woman
OF middle age, and wearing blue glasses
A Russian Cathedral.
The history of this church is as strange
as its aspect. 1t was built by order of
V the Terrible at the expense OF the
p~rineipality of Kazan as an expression OF
gratitude to God for the Cars conquest
of that country. The name of the archi-
tect, an Italian, is unknown. but tradition
relates that his eyes were burned u by
order of Want to prevent his designing in
future any more wonderful monument
ut is my wish" said the terrible au-
~tocrat, that his sanctuary remain the
unique n glorious of the
genius of this man." In the basement OF
the edlhce are two chapels, surrounded
by nine cupolas, each different in shape,
dimensions, color, details, style and
structural disposition. The spire, too, is
placed at the east and not at the west, as
orthodoxy demands. The facades, again,
are all different and without discernible
plan, and the whole structure, with it's
suggestions of Hindoo, byzantine, Gothic
and nondescript architecture and its pro-
fusion OF painted ornaments Inc masses
Of crude yellow, blue, red and green,
forms an admirable and mysterious har-
mony, the secret of which lone can ex-
plain and the charm of which no words
eau describe. ~
The whole exterior, with it's superim-
posed arches, it's profusion of color and
gliding, its painting of roses and other
flowers in panels all over the walls, is
strangely original. On the pedestal
formed by the nine chapels and their
basement are placed belfries and cupolas
starting upward from masses of masonry
resembling the intoxicated foliage of the
artichoke, the scales of the pine cone or
the opening buds OF the cactus flower. In
the chief belfry the italian element is
clearly perceptible in the first three
stories, above which is a story resembling
an Indian pagoda, which in its turn is
surmounted by a heXagonal crocketed
spire, on the summito of which is a lantern
and an onion-shaped gilt cap.
Another belfry supports q cupola in the
shape of a pineapple all covered with
pointed facets; on another the pineapple
cupola is laced over with a symmetrical
network through whose meshes the points
alone are visible. Another cupola iIni-
tates the ribbed form of a melon; another
the twisted folds of q monumental tur-
ban; another the close scales of the SER
pent. Let 1T be remembered, too, that
each OF these cupolas is of 3 different
color-one orange, another sky blue, an
other apple green, another a deep red;
and that, besides paint in profusion, the
mouldings, cornices, consoles, panels, pin
nacles, imbrications II tiers of arches
are laVlSnly decorated WIN rightly COL
ored glazed faience. OF this fantastic
architectural dream, suggestive of I'M
canny sea monsters, half fish and half
flower, of gigantic fruits, or of vegetables
and Oriental turbans of such capricious
and impossible proportions as one might
conceive in a nightmare. -HUTper's Mag
Gzjne.
Wanted a Better Picture.
A silhouette artist was a passenger on
n of the river boats the other day, and
he amused himself and the rest of the
crowd by cutting out proiles of different
parties and passing them round for in
spection. The pictures were very good,
the likeness in many instances being
exact. One young lady, however, who
possessed a tip-tilted nose, objected to
hers II tossed it angrily back.
Such a pictured" she exclaimed. "All
the others are just splendid; but look at
mine, Why, he has given me a pug
nose"
"But, my DEAR" demonstrated her
mother, this picture is just like you, and,
if the nose is short, yours is, too"
Il don't care" said the offended girl,
she might have made me a better picture,
anyhow. l won't take that" and she
turned her back on the discounted artist
and ran into the cabin.-Detloit Free
Press.
The Old, Old Story.