Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-03-15
.PITH AND POINT.

Good for a-Chloroform.
Hard to beat-The headlcss drum.
Considered very rude-Log cabins.
Cannibalsm-Fecding baby with its
pap.
Every suffering man has poor rela-
ton.
The pappaw tree is the father of the
forest.
Talk is cheap, but the love prattle of q
pretty girl is dear.
whatever is is right" This cannot be-
said of the left hand.
The silence that spcal1s-Tho CONVEX
sation between two doaf mutcs.
match between two dentists in their
art would probably result in draw
He is rare man who cannot lord to
well do as he would be well done by.
There is always rise in provisions
when the dumb waiter is sent uloft with
its load.
When man takes couple of largo
''horns," no wonder that he gets bull
headed.- Yonses B;ade.
'H'ou're too fresh, SAID the brine to
the beef. ~ acknowledge the corn,u
eplicd the beef, humbly
''IIow much are those chest protect
orsl" '..Those aren't chest projectors,
sir; those are our latest styles OF neck
tics. - Time.
Everybody smiled when the fat woman
at the dime museum sand she was going
to take couple OF rooms for light house,
keeping IL ,chcs:cr icM.
Money will purchase anything, says a
,tn f., Il
not purchase piano ;hat never took tho
first premium. -B0,t0M Cturiey.
The expression, ooh, you be hanged"
is entirely out OF place now. In future,
"oh, you be struck 10y lightning, 4" will
be the proper exclanlation.-N Yorl;
Macs.
''What made you tell me lie,
Jolnny" angrlly inquired Mrs. Brown.
BECAUSE" pleaded little johnny, ~
knew you would lick me if l told you
the truth. "-1ime.
llostcss-'I hope you are enjoying
your dinner, Mr. Fowler" Guest
YES, indeed. This country air has
given me such an appetite that can cat
most anything. "-Boaoa Beacon.
Little Bessie dropped an armful of
playthings. "Did you break any thing2"
asked the mother. "Nothing only the
quiet" she replied, land that's mended
already. B'nghampton Republican.
Poet-"You must excuse my chiro-
graphy, for l am suffering so with writ
ers cramp that my hand is lame" Ed
itor-"l es. and your poetry sounds as
though it had rheumatism in the feet"
Father-'You cannot marry Mr..
Smith; he squints." Daughter True,
but lie made $50, 900 in Wall street last
week" Fa'her-''Ah, well, take him;
but it's pity he doesn't lisp and mako
500, 600 more.
Tough Luck-First Stage Eobber-
'What did you git yesterday, Jerry2"
Second Robber-'' Nothin'. There wasn't
nobody in the stage 'ceptiu' lawyer,
two plumbers and IL prima donna, an u
professional courtesy wouldn't allow mo
to touch 'cm, of course "-Ie5re H1uie
E,rpress.
Elsie-''What was the real reason,
dear, for breaking your engagement
with Mr.. Smythc." Eva "Well, you
see we were at the ZOO, and when 7
throw cake to the lion my bracelet
slipped off with it, and the horrid beast
refused to go in to the cage and get it.
The lioness has it owl fine
Twin sisters, excellent ladies, lived
near each other in Massachusetts town.
One was ailing somewhat, and her sis
ter, bonnutless and shnwlless, ran in to
see how she was, and found that The all
ing one wanted her 10 an Grand So
she put on the ailng sisters shawl and
bonnet and went to the store Arriving
there, she saw her own image IN a look
ing glass and exclaimed why, YOU
decided TO come yourself after all.
don't think you were we'll enough2"-
Boston transcript.