Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1889-04-06
NOT a SALAMANDER.
A Painful Episode in the History of the Nc
Swat Family.

A Painful Episode in the History of the Me-
Swat Family.
"Billiger, the room is growing cold. I"
Absorbed in his task of reading a
story by the celebrated novelist Wo-
wells, in order to win bet OF fifty dol
lars he had made with Swackhammer
that he could do it in two consecutive
sittings and come out alive, Mr.. Nc
Swat paid no attention to the remark.
"Billiger," repeated Mrs. McSwat,
presently, f'and the room is growing
cold"
Il had not observed it, Lobelia," he
replied, as he hastily sketched large
fist on the margin of the page, to en-
able him to find the place again, and
looked up. Is it any colder than it has
been all afternoon.
.'Of course it is" retorted his wife.
you don't feel it because you put on
your overcoat when you began to read
that story"
"What do you want me to doP" he
inquired.
LOU huOH CD "OAA t'' AN'
furnace needs more coal.
Billiger laid aside his book, rose to
his feet and yawned-a large, frank,
unreserved and expansive yawn.
''Tll attend to it, Lobelia," he said
and went down into the basement.
by George, I'll make it warn
enough for herr he muttered, as he
threw shovelful after shovelful of coal
INTO the furnace. 'Tn give her heat
enough to crack the wall paper if she
wants it." he continued, and he shOv-
eled in some more. mo trouble to
show goods, If you don't see all the
coal you want ask for it. Iguess that's
about enough, though"
And he closed the furnace door and
stood a few moments watching it.
ut doesn't seem to blaze up just ex-
actly as it ought" he said ''lll stir it
up a little"
He opened the furnace door.
There was q sudden bursting into
flame, a fierce puff. binding glare en-
veloped him, and with yell of terror,
he started up the stairway.
'Billiger McSwati" exclaimed his
wife, as he came tearing into the sit
ting-room, what in the world have you
been doing to yourse.f?"
Billiger stepped in front of a mirror
and looked long and sorrowfully at the
reflection that met his gaze.
His eyebrows and eyelashes were
gone, his front hair was shriveled, his
mustache had disappeared, and sorry
looking crisp on each side of his face
was all that remained of a once glorl-
Gus pair of side-whiskers.
What in the world have you been
doing to YOURSELF" repeated his anx-
ious wife.
''Lobelia," he replied, in the voice OF
a man who has waded through the
quicksand of doubt and uncertainty,
but has reached the solid ground of
truth at last, Il have been making al
Internal idiot of myself!''
1T will all grow out again, Billig-
err" said Mrs. McSwat, soothingly,
some hours later; and she leaned over
the lounge on which he lay, and with
her soft hand she daubed his scorched
face with vaseline and cold cream.
''Lobelia," he groaned, as he sur
veyed himself mournfully in a hand
glass, I'm ruin-a hideous ruin. If
you had known what CHASTITY specta-
Gle a puff of flame would make of me,
"Lobelia," he continued in a faltering
voice, ''would would you have mar
ried me?"
"Billiger," she replied, as she put a
fresh dab of salve on his face, 81 would.
You need somebody to take care OF
you."- Chicago Tribune.