The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1889-02-21
HUMoR Of THE DAY.

H
Acourse of sprouts-celery: @
A plain man The ranchero.
Maid to order-A servant girl.
Words in season-sea ahd SON. i
A slow match-Fo Four years of court
ship. t., -,
A middleman must be o center in
trade circles.
All the pawnshop patrons wants is: to
be let loan.-HqteE 3faI =
It is claimed by old hunters that
rabbit trail is merely q hair,Hne.
Marble statues are noted for their
stony expression. -Pitsbaug Gtrnicle.
"While you are around this way drop
in" says the weighing machine TO the
nickel
Senator Edmunds believes in bringing
the French domination at Colon to full
stob.-Bostoa Post. -
Patient-"Whst is the best position
in which to sleeps" Doctor-"l usually
lie down.n-Boston Courier.
We pity the Waterbury Watch Com
PAW if it ever has to wind up its 'busi,
ness. ss.-Eur'ington FFse Press.
Only in the case Of: D tavern cana coat
of paint ON the outside de- also on the
inn-side - Bingkam.on Republican. .s
The poet who says he woye fancies
'llght as zephyr's play, probably used
an acknowledgement Repuhican.
It is one of the peculiaritics- Of Of things
in general that the freshest men gener-
ally teu uthe stalsst-stories-Bengor Com
nlercidL.
"Never allow yourself to get out of
anything" says writer ia q household
journal. How about debt9-Bur!ing'on
Free Press.
Many men who gloomily :ask: SIS life
worth living" will not eat ahot biscuits
through fear of injuring their health.
Atch,son Globe.
A German has discovered aprocess for
converting cucumbers into sponges. The
doctors are camping on his traii-Bur-
ling'cn FIRE. Pes.
The man who thinks he can heave in a
few toddics, and 60 homo and deceive
his wife into an idea that he is quite
sober, is worse fooled than he thinks she
is.-lMI,oaufee Journal.
Jake-tMr. slowpa wants toknowif
you'll open running account with him."
Dealer -"No; tell him Pm afraid we'd:
have too much running to do before we'd
collect it. "-Dc.roW Free Pres.
~ say, Jones, that was shabby trick
YOU played me about those trousers"
isWhat's the matter; didn't they reach
YOU all D. K.!" NAV; they came c.
o. D.; drat "-DetroU journal.
Time. l1a.5 T. NJ. She--"Mr. Tire.
sum, what is your favorite cxercise~
He (enthusiastically)-"Walking. She
81 am glad to know it. l was afraid
you had forgotten how".-Bur'a"gto"
Free Pres.
Jinkins (at the opera)-"What's that2"
De Music--"The score" Jinklns-
"Hello. Didn't know score could be
kept on game like this. Which side is
ahead the fddlers or the singersf
Philadelphia Record.
Miss Bruce (who has heard that her
frlenu MISS ieerlDS Has nau ialiiuS
out with Mr.. owney)-"Why, l
thought, Eugcnia, that you and Dick
were solid" Miss neering (icily)-"Oh,
dear, no-only plated. "-We Cartoon.
At the conccrt-"Do you call that
music2 Nobody can tell what they are
playing" Waitress "If you please, sir,
the players have had quarrel to-day, SO
you see they are quite angry with each
other still, and every one is playing what
he chooses.
Mrs. Blifkins (time, NATURALIZATION
rors! Husband! husband l hear some
one burrowing through the wall Mr..
Blifkins-"Well, we'll. 1t must be that
book agent. KNEW we'd all be in bed
by II o'clock, and told him to call at
half past."-NeU Yort Weekly.