Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1889-06-30
WOMEN AND MARRIAGES.
"BYsTANDER HAS A STRANGE FIT OF
MoRALIZING.
and then Tells a Telephone
Story.

1t does seem TO me that if experience is
| to any extent a teacher of the human
family, time has about presented the occa-
sion when marriageableYoung men and mar
riageable young women should realize the
full Importance of selecting comrade for
life, and above all things in this world
avoid the one great, serious and dreadful
mistake of a marriage that makes the wife
or the wife's father the master of the tinan-
cial situation in the new enterprise. The
husband may be true, he may be devoted,
he may be industrious, honest, and have
brains, but the purse in the pocket of the
wifes parent, or in her own even, will
belittle him in their estimation, as sure as
his devotion, enterprise, industry and in
tegrity may be unqueshonable.
1t is natural that it should and a situa-
ton to the contrary is against nature, and
there can be no condition against or op-
posed to nature without penalty. shall
not presume or attempt philosophical
discussion, and go into the ordinances of
the Creator, and attempt to show the
natural and organic causes that make man
! the master of every situation, but shall
come down to modern times and employ
more recent conditions to illustrate what
l have to say. All good women admire
| good, true, genuine manhood" and 1t is
worth more in their estimation than all the
gold in the Indias.
A man need not be large and handsome ;
| it is not necessary for him to have deep
voice and large mustache or whlskers.
| 1t is not essential that he should excel his
fellow beings in everything he attempts );
| but if he has strength Of character, con-
sisting in energetic and ambitious man
| hood, the woman whose. love he shares
looks on him as her champion knight,
and the pride she has and feels IN the
strength of his character constitutes about
| two-thirds of the material they call love.
But you say, What has that got to do
with young poor men or old poor men
marrying rich young women or rich old
women ?" Well, it is this. maintain that
a woman's love for a man is not an idle,
fanciful infatuation, temporary and roman
tic, but noble impulse, deep-rooted as the
|
! firm as her constitution is frail. Anything
that has tendency to weaken or detract
from the estimation woman has placed
on the valor, force of character, or Il can
use no better term) manhood of her hus-
band, necessarily affects her love, and
when that becomes impaired or lessened
the foundation of her soul wane and her
purest perceptions are in danger. Nature
intended that imam" should be the
" breadwinner," and the young married
couple who start out in life, under cIrcum-
stances to the contrary, will come to grief
nine times out of ten, and the divorce
records of this country are my authority.
4 MAJ who will accept the hand of a
woman whose associations in life under the
parental roof have been luxuriant, know
ing at the same time that his means will
never permit of the same elegant surround
ings, and that she will be deprived of them
unless furnished by herself, takes step
that has thousand times before led men
to disgrace, humiliation, and ruin.
A man who can stand on the threshold
of his own door and to his wife say
"This is yours and mine," and have her
know and realize that it is his, either by
inheritance or purchase, is safe. But a
man who stands in the doorway by his
| wife and she says r to him: This is
papa's," can be assured that his stay will
be brief, and ignominious as it is brief
| And it is not strange, whatever may be
the strength of his character, his wife does
not have, and never will have, the feeling
that she is entirely dependent upon his
strength. courage, industry, and manhood,
and unless she does feel that dependence
her love is not genuine passion he is
not, and cannot be, as long as those circum-
stances exist, her ideal OF a man. At first
the novelty and responsibilities of the
situation will hold both together, but Just
so sure as her existence is a fact, she will
find herself wishing that their home was
less pretentious and its construction at
tributed to her husband, by whose hands
or from whose pocket it should have been
constructed.
This may be idle talk, but l doubt ii
and | venture to say that the woman who
stands by her husband, with the knowledge
that the little white-washed cottage where
they live was built by his strong brawny
arm, and out of his savings from toll, has
a deeper, more devoted love, and looks
upon him with a greater pride, and is
happier when she is near him, than she
who treads the polished floor of a mansion.
in the construction of which her lord never
bought or turned a stone There has been
a period in the history of this country
when divorces were URL7lOWn, and that period
covered the times when the man stood
with one hand grasping his sword or rife
while the other arm encircled the waist of
his faithful wife. In him she saw heroic
protector, true husband, a man of bravery,
courage and endurance. By his side alone
was she safe; by him alone was she pro-
vided for. Compare, if you can, the devo-
ton of those two souls, with the fashion
able surroundings of modern dude and
his wife, Just installed in their elegant
quarters, erected by the wife's father and
furnished by the wifes mother. do not
mean to say that women should be de-
pendent to the extent of losing her in
diyiduality. | do not believe in a de-
pendence that consumes any of her privi-
ieges or rights; but | do believe the hus-
band should be the prorider and the pro.
tector in every sense of the word, from the
start of life's voyage to its close. And nc
man can make a greater mistake than tc
place himself in the position of a pen
sioner; and the greatest mistake of all i.
to allow the wife or wife's father to provide
for and furnish the scoop"
There is another problem in our socia
fabric that will soon present itself with
considerable force, and that is the employ
ment and avocations of women.
The advancement of women to position,
they were never calculated to fill has il
the last quarter of a century been great
and at the present time there are indica
tions going to show that their sphere o
occupation is becoming wider, and L firmly
believe we have occasion to view it with
alarm. No one will deny the proposition
that woman, from her very nature anc
constitution is not calculated to minglt
with, compete with and strive for exist
ence among the sterner sex.
As the flowers depend upon the sun
shine and rain for their existence, so wa
woman made to depend upon the industry
of man for livelihood, and where society
fails to enforce that law of nature the pen
f atty will follow as inevitably as warmth
, flows with the rays of the sun.
There is something wrong in the neces
sites that compel our young women Il
seek employment where the duties ant
labor to be performed are essentially