Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-08-17
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5:ai1u Eagle
SHOULD WOMEN PROPOSE?
A PREAChMENT UPON A SUBJECT
OF INTEREST TO THE FAIR.
What Is Meant by a Proposal of Marriage.
Are Women Willing to Assume Such
Responsibility?-The Old Fashion of
Ceurtship VIII Go on for Awhile.

Apropos of the mooted question, ''Shan
women proposeF which for some time past
has been the subject of more or less serious
discussion, it may not be amiss to consider
what woman's proposing" implies.
Most of the advocates of a new departure
seem to look at it merely as a short cut to
matrimony and the securing of husband
and home.
True, there is an assumption that the agita-
ton Of the question is as much in the interest
OF the male as of the female
This presumption is based upon the suppos
ititious bashfulness of our brothers, who,
but for the manful, or rather womanful, COM
ing forward of the ladies, might miss matri-
nony altogether.
But though civilized man is just now, per-
haps, somewhat backward in coming for
ward to choose life partner, his shyness is,
we surnise, due not so much TO fear Of the
young woman In the case as of what said
young woman will ultimately cost.
Modesty and shrinking shyness are not
characteristic Of the sterner sex. As rule,
men are not afraid TO ask for what they want
they have been lords of creation" too long
for that-and, while there may be here and
there bachelor who needs nothing but en-
enlargement to become benedict, these are
but sporadic cases, and prove nothing unless
it be the rule
WHAT PROPOSING" IMPLIES.
Indeed, men take it for granted that what
folks don't ask for they don't w6nt-that is,
unless they take it without asking
Witness the matter Of woman suffrage.
They say women, as a body, don't ask for
suffrage. Ergo, women, as a body, don't
want suffrage.
Which proves what poor reasoners men
can be, for all their extra area of brain and
boosted superiority of intellect.
They might as well say that women don't
want husbands because they don't ask for
them!
e But as the late Mr.. Greeley used to say,
f'The way to resume is to resume" and our
crusaders in the Cause of courtship evidently
believe that the way to propose is to propose,
and they valiantly proclaim themselves ready
to share the ante-nuptial siege with the hith-
erto monopolistic MAKE
Which is kind Of them-if they are as dis
interested as they would seem, and what is
much more to the point-if they realize the
responsibilities they would shoulder.
And that brings lis back where we began.
What does woman's proposing" imply?
Does it mean not only securing home and
a husband, but providing the one and sup
porting the otbers Does every woman who
advocates this new departure really mean
that she is not only willing but that she ex-
poets to maintain the man to whom she pro-
poses marriage2
That Is what a man neanS-or is supposed
80 mean-when he proposes marriage TO a
woman. And IL women when they propose
do not mean as much they put themselves in
q most humiliating light.
What right minded woman would not be
too proud to offer a man less than he would
tender her under similar circumstances?
1t Is one thing for a woman to allow her
self to be worked for and supported by
husband who has sought his position as pro-
wider as a privilege. But it is quite another
thing for woman 70 seek husband TO sup
port her, and o4ae that no self respecting
woman could condescend to think of if she
realized the situation.
1t is not enough for women to say they are
willing and ready to do their share of the
work necessary to the support Of the family
they must be ready in an emergency to do
it all if they are going TO exchange places
with the other sex. They must be prepared
not only 30 save or spend money at discre-
ton, but also to make money.
1t is no answer to this to say that many
men are now supported by their wives The
point is that the husband is not only looked
upon as, but is, in law, the natural bead and
support of the family-the money maker, the
bread winner.
And although the world is ser1i-occasion-
ally frightened and bettered by the sight of
an ideal union where man and wife are
thoroughly and admirably interdependent-
each helpmeet to the other; and although
the same world is embittered and bIackened
by mockeries of marriage where the burden
rs all ON one side, and that the womans, do
we not also see all around nsen who are
breaking not only the laws of health, but
sometimes the laws Of the land as well in
their mad pursuit of the elusive but mighty
dollar, while their womankind ''toil not,
neither do they spin," and by the side of
whom Solomon in all his glory wouldn't get
a ''stickful' in newspaper notice!
THERE'S NO LAW AGIN IT"
When men work TO support their wives
and children in idleness and luxury it is
taken as matter Of course. When a woman
works to support husband in that sort of
fashion she may be called fool. but be is
called knave. And public opinion in both
these cases Is founded upon the fact that the
man sought the woman, that he asked her to
marry him. And there lies the morall
II women propose to propose" that they
shall be active and equal partners IN the bust
ness of life, that they shall submit to the
same rules that obtain In ordinary business
partnerships, where each member OF the firm
may be held responsible for the whole con
Germ, well and good Let them go ahead and
may God speed them.
But, if they propose" less than that, the
sooner they reconsider their determination
the better. The woman who proposes mar
riage TO a man can afford to stand upon none
but the Hottest and most ideal plane.
As matter of equity there can be no ques
lion that woman has not only right TO life
liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but also
of a husband if she feels 50 inclined
If woman wants TO propose there's nc
slaw aSin" it. Bus let those sisters who favor
This new dispensation seriously consider
whether they are ready TO assume the re-
spousibilities that devolve upon those who
s-propoSe."
Are they prepared TO pay for or to forego
Theatre tickets, carriages, car fares, ice cream,
Hinged cake, csramels, bon5ons. bouquets and
all that courtship now nnphesi Are they
prepared for the nost-msrital fortunes Of
january blllsf In short, are they prepared
10 assume the responsibility OF maintaining
b family
OF course they are not. And until they are
1T Is not only breach Of good taste, but q
cheap farce for any of the feminine half Of
ereation TO talk of actual out and out viva
Soce proposing.