Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-11-23
STUFF AND NONSENSE.

| 0AOxE AMI NVlSOElN0Es
FOOD for thought brain nourish-
ers.
A sHADowED ife-followed by . de-
tective.
IRON bars are the most reliable sort
OF appearance bonds.
The pugilist ascends the ladder of
fame round by round.
A PHILADELPHIA bootblack meets
the russell shoe fad half way with the
sign, Boots blacked yellow"
NEWSPAPER men have q right to be
proud. Well-yes. Handling paste
pot is apt to make 'em q little stuck
up.
TRAVELLER Gin Ireland)-I don't see
how it is you people keep in such good
humor. Irishman-Sure We do niver
have enough to ate to get bilious.
EYES," admitted the visitor, when
the proud mother exhibited her baby,
he has his fathers nose, but don't
worry. It may not be always that red. ;"
MAMMA QUEER Ito her little SOM
There, now, don't bother me; I'm busy.
Go and play with the old cat. Tom my
Queer-Why, mamma, that's what the
nurse said to papa yesterday.
JACK-Charley, why don't you pro-
pose to the Widow Green's daughter?
She's rich and is regarded as the pearl
of her sex. Charley know it, my
boy. but dislike the mother of pearl.
A TERRIBLE burden: Clara-What a
terrible noise. that wagon makes!
George it's dreadful, isn's it?
What makes it groan so, George?"
why, it is filled with green apples"
Doctor SoU1LLs- There is nothing
serious, sir; your wife has merely bit
little skin off the end of her tongue.
Mr.. Henpeck-End of her tongue!
Great Scott didn't know there was
any end to it.
"DARRINGER, what's become of the
friend I've seen you with for week."
{" I cut him. His name is Hava-
drink. and every time I called him that
he said I don't care if I do He was
too expensive"
JUDGE Ito police officer)-Are you
sure, sir, that the prisorSr was drunk?
Officer-Is it dhrunk, your honor?
Shure af he I'D sphoke through the
tiiphone the BIRTH Nv i'm I'D av made
the poles shtagger.
DRUG CLERK (briskly)-Insect pow
der? Yes, ma'am. Here's some Swed-
ish insect powder thas's highly recon-
mended. Customer don't know
whether that will answer. Mine are
plain American insects
CHIEF Ito industrious clerk in govern
ment ofice)-Why didn't you dot the
Il" in the last word of your report last |
night. Industrious clerk beg your
pardon; but the clock struck Just at |
that point, and I didn't care to work |
overtime.
FIRST DRUMMER week I took |
the biggest order of the season. Second |
Drummer don't believe word of it.
First Drummer-You don't, Ell? Well, |
perhaps you'll believe this triumphant
~ producing a paper. Here is letter I |
just got cancelng it.
YOUNG man." said a minister to a
of his congregation, "do you
know what relations you sustain in this
world ?" well, just at present the only
relation I am sustaining in this world
is my father-in-law, but you can Just
gamble on it am not going to sustain
him very long" was the reply.
LAST Sunday evening an East Side
widow, who was known to the entire
congregation to be greatly in want of
q husband, was praying with great fer
vency. ooh, thou knowest the desire
Of my hearth" she exclaimed. "A
responded brother, with
broad accent. "Thy will be done!"
exclaimed the widow, amid a smoker
from the congregation.
BEAUTY AND HER BEAST.
20, Jack dear Nells engaged hear;
They say to such a bear.
It seems an awful sacrifice,
And she SO young and fair.
It's her first season, but perhaps,
Mamma made her say yes
He's awful rich but such bear.
What's that? You say you guess
I've got some rather strange ideas?
He's not a bear, but tall,
Handsome and young. What do you
"A Wall street bear that's all"