Morning journal and courier., 1889-03-06
TH E BALANCE.

It Ought to be Adjusted.-One of Jeweler Pivot's late clerks has brought suit against his employer for s'compehsation balance. D Jewellers Weekly.
 Mr. Carpe-'1 see old Jasper cuts out all the accounts of prize fights. wonder what he intends to do with the clippings!" MT. Sharpe-"Put them in scrap book, sup se."-Town Topics.
 "What large and handsome vice presi- dent you have, MT. Harrison" said lady as Mir. Morton passed by "Yes, replied MT. small vices. ."-The Critic.
 Miss vivacity-ssSo Miss Prettygirl is to be married, heara' Miss Acidity-'sIs it love match?" Miss V.-'Certainlyl She al- ways loved money, and understand that the unfortunate gentleman has plenty of it." Boston Budget.
 How soon some women change their tone respecting their husbands. Mrs. Spinn was forever telling her husband that he wasn't worth the salt in his bread, and when he got killed in a railroad accident she sued the company for $1 1,O00.-Texas Siftings.
 Barber Gin high-toned establishment)- Better try a bottle of our patent superfuous hair remover, sir.
 Dude customer-Gud gwacious, man, Why?
 Barber-Haven't you heard, sir, how that the prince is growing balder every day?- New York Evening sun.
 The story that Gen. Harrison had his au- gust hair cut before leaving Indianapolis is confirmed by later advices from that city. eral had given people to understand that he was in the habit or having his hair shot off with gun.-Chicago News.
 Revised Religion.-'tI haven't seen you at church lately, my boy. Come up Sunday and hear the Rev. o. Break Away preach on the Derivation of the Psalter from Sun Myth" 'I am not interested in the modern alone" "But you would never know that you were listening to a sermon!"-Time.
 They were discussing the plans for their wedding, which she wanted to announce for the month of roses, while he was earnestly arguing that it should not be postponed. "Oh, George" she murmured, ''think of it; what is so rare as day in June?" "A day in February, Marguerite" he replied, ''there are are only 2S of them to 30 in June" And they were married in February.-Elmira Gazette.
 A ACertain Remedy.-Famous guest (author of s'Ellen Robsmere'0-sWhat is it, my lit- tie deara" Hosts sweet child-'sMamma says you're sufferer from insomnia. Does it hurts" "Oh, no. Insomnia means in ability to get to sleep" s'Is that alls Why don't you do like mamma does. She reads
 
 the book. It's called Ellen Robsmere. .'"- New York Weekly.
 In Bookstore.
 "Have you got the Blue Book" 'tThe Blue Book? We have got Burton on Melancholy; that ought to be blue enough"
 "No, no; that isn't it. I mean the book with the list of offices.' "We haven't got it: but if you are after an office you had better take the book on melancholy. ."-Chicago Herald. A surprise partv.-Two or three weeks since we denounced Colonel Hallimell ss a claim jumper, mule stealer and wife deserter and added few words to the effect that he would look well at the end of rope. Satur- day evening, as we were talking with the cashier of the First National bank, the colo nel approached us and warned us. to prepare for death. Greatly to our own amazement and to the intense surprise of the whole street we didn't run. On the contrary, We sailed into the colonel like brick house falling on sand fly, and we had him licked inside of five minutes. We can't account for these freaks in our nature. Sometimes we fight like tornado and again we run like jack rabbit. People intending to lay for us must take their chsnces.-Arizona Kicker, in De- troit Free Press.