The Opelousas courier., 1889-04-27
THE TWO B
A Pathetic Episode Of Railroad
travel.

Trsvel.
Profound was his contempt for the
restriction of grammar, but l rather
liked his quaint manner of telling the
story. Said he:
lit was when me and Silent was
startin' East to have time an to sorto
see if we could round up on the old
stompin' grounds somebody that re-
membered u.s."
When he had gotten well started into
the description of the journey, he
paused and mentally regarded with
awe the picture that memory conjured
up of the man who h~abitually eclipsed
the most artistic efforts of the men
who believed that profanity was the
only phase of the English language
understood by cattle on the range. and
who always endeavored to render their
remarks to the bovines Ineligible. 1t
was evident that the conductor swore.
Many things had conspired to make
the journey Uncomfortable one. As
there was but one train on that apG,f
ogy for a line of railroad, which WIS
little better than two streaks of rust
running across the prairie to nowhere
In particular, the fact that there was a
backward trip to be made, some time
in the future. was the only cause for
haste. What there was of speed
seemed mostly a series of jerkees not
calculated to have a balmy influence
upon the crabby temper of the jerkees
In the old caboose- Bates, the CONNER
cial traveller, was cynical and equity,
and p~erpetually upon the opposite of
every subject advanced by tbsonarrator.
Speers.
Stretched on the long bench lay
Silent, filling the car with clouds of
such villainous smoke that Bates in
cluded smoking in his list of con
formations, to which the silent n
replied only by putting like a miniat-
ure Vesuvius, till the conductor con-
signed all smokers to a more awful
depth than that to which fddlers r
popularity supposed to be condemned.
Besides being luridly p~rofane, the
small conductor was grabbed to a most
disagreeable degree, and the tall brake
man was insulting to his superior and
neglected his duties to watch the al
most sanguinary game OF 'tfreeze OUT
In which Bates and Speers INDUCED on
a board laid across their lap.
The primary al of all the clash
Ing among the occupants of the old
caboose was In the corner. There SIT
q stoop-shouldered man whose ague-
yelIowed face wore a look of chronic
apology. In his lap he held two babies,
twins, seemingly. In spite of the noise
Of the car one OF tharbabies had not
uttered q complaining cry during the
trip, and had lain with its face covered
and seemed to be sleeping.
But the other baby, as If to show
that he was not in sympathy with
the p~assiveness of lis relative,
had cried and yelled nearly the
whole way. 70 be suite, now and
then there would come q lull in
the storm Of cries, but each of these
was followed by an outburst that
almost drowned the rattle of the a
boose and caused the screams to bring
down upon his unconscious head the
wrath OF all In the car but his relatives
and the silent smoker stretched on the
long seat.
Through 1t all the sleeping baby
showed no signs of waking. The apol-
ogetic-looking man had almost ceased
trying to quiet the bowler, for all his
awkward efforts had resulted in fall
ure, and. limp and discouraged. he had
settled back In passive, powerless resig-
nation.
While the conductor had almost
burned blue with sulphurous growls,
Bates had uttered im~precations upon
all crying babies in general, and this
one la particular, at which the father
had looked more depressed and apollo
getic than ever. @
Speers. to the contrary, took occa-
sion to express the belief that Bates
had once been just such o baby, and
&AAAS ~AOAOtokUs AS ~ A0NC 4O4-
~loW-feeling for the infant
Bates angrily repudiated the idea.
The conductor squirmed wrathfnlly
about In his revolving chair in the
turret of the cabocse. Silent gazed
solemnly through q cloud OF smoke al
the bowler, as IL wondering how such
a vast volume Of sound could proceed
from so small q body.
At each outburst of wrath from the
passengers the apologize man looked
more depressed. and once be bent and
kissed the forehead of The sleeping
baby.
"Woll,n began the long brakeman
ssI
He did not finish the sentence. Tn,
progress of the old caboose was sud
denly checked. 1t gave d lurch. d con
vulasEe sort of b jerk, and then ven
humping and pounding along on th,
ties 70 come to d sudden stop.
Bates and Steers were tumbled in
confused heap end the brakeman wa
thrown on top 0f them. The silen
man was rolled off from the seat an,
fell with q force that drove his pip
~ down his throat. The shock did 10