Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-06-27
Mr.. and Mrs. BOVSer
Women's Subjects of Conversation
Compared.
Mrs. BOwser Passes the Biscuits and
Paralyzes B. at Once.
Finally Mr.. Bowser Uses Exclamation
Points and Sleeps in Solitude.
Detroit Free Press.

gone ne asked:
'How long was Mrs. Blank here?"
"About half an hour"
} "And you talked about fashions, I sup
! poser"
"Yes, mostly. What should we talk
about?"
, ''Mrs. Bowser, did it ever occur to you
, that there was anything in life beyond
!. millinery and dress goods and dressmak-
ersf"
"How?"
: How! Why, select some subject of
, sense-art, science, mineralogy, the labor
question, or self government, and discuss
!, it with calmness and judg and learn
something worth remembering for half
an hour. You women folks might as well
have been born with pumpkin on your
, shoulders in place of a head"
mace no reply to this, but determined
TO catch Mr.. Bowser in his own ira o be-
fore the week was out. Fortune favored
, me. It was only two days before a
neighb0r called over as he was at work
: in the back yard, and for two long hours
, those men sat down on ladder and dis
cussed the question whether back gate
should open inward or Outwards and the
J advaE tages offered by either situation.
Mr.. Bowser commended for the gate open
ing outward, and the neighbour for the
opposite, and the discussion resulted in
Mr.. Bowser getting red clear back of the
ears and jumping up to exolaim:
swell, let's drop the subject right here.
There can be cranks on alley gates as well
as on politics and religion"
"And there can be- lunatics outside of
the asylums," holly replied the neigh
Dor.
"Don't call me lunatic!"
"And DON'T you call me a crank"
$50 home and hang your old gate TO
the moonm
I'll hang it according to the rules of
common sense, and don't you forget it,"
When Mr.. Bowser came in to wash his
hands observed:
''Mr. Bowser, did it ever occur to you
that there was anything in life beyond
hanging back gate"
he replied with ''hamph!' of disgust.
Select some subject of sense, Mr.. Bow
ser-art, science, mip eralogy--the labor
question, or self-government. and DISCUSS
it with calmness and Judgment and learn
something worth remembering for half
an hour!'
He looked around in desperate, help
less way, and put on his hat and went off
without a word in reply. I wasn't going
to let him off on that, however. When he
came home that evening 1 had Mrs.
Orfendorf over to supper, and as soon
as we were seated at thu table queried:
Doesn't it strike you that Germany's
policy on the Samoan question is one of
conoiliation instead of aggre ssion?"
"It certainly does," she replied, but
there may be hidden motive behind this
Inn tpa of
the man back as far as you will and his
policy has been either aggression or STRAIT
egy."
Mr.. B0wser looked from Que to the
other of Us in astonishment.
81 notice." said l as I passed the bis
cults, ''that the Spanish colonial policy
Is working towards a radical change. In
cited by the example of other and strong
er nations, it is about to extend its arms
and unfold new possessions"
The stare Mr.. Bowser favored nae with
made my flesh creep.
81 do So hope you can come down to the
next meeting of the Women's Scientific,
Political and Literary Club" said Mrs.
Orfendorf, as she tOyed with her straw
berries. "TLose gatherings are very
interesting. At our last meeting we dis
cussed the Drift Perio H. and at the one
next week we shall discuss Two Proposed
Amendments to the Constitution of the
United Stetes.'"
"Oh, ia like to go ever so much, and
think can promise you 1 will be there.
Can Mr.. Bowser come, 1oo?"
"Well, hardly. Men take such little
interest in such things that they are OBJ
structlons."
And Mr.. Bowser sat there, turning red
and pale by turns, until his chair grew so
hot that he bad pretended headache
and got excused. 1 anticipated an awful
tragedy after my visitor took her de-
parture, but Mr.. Bowser contented him
self with saying:
"Now that that shallow pated, long
nosed old nuisance has finally taken her
leave let's go TO bed"
He regaiped his assurance after a couple
of days, however. was talking to our two
year-o baby, AMI talking as all mothers
talk, when Mr.. Bowser flung down his
paper and excaimeo:
"Mrs. Bowser, you make me tired talk
ing to that youngun that way! No wonder
so many children grow up to be sap
headedl"
"Bow shall talk?"
"Talk sense-the same as you would
to an adult. He's old enough to under
stand, and believe he will appreciate it,"
every well; Ill try"
"Thank you. It's more than expected
you'd do"
The trial came that night. We had
scarcely got TO bed when baby awoke
and began to whine. He had got cold
and was feverish.
"Now, Harry" L began, "snug down
and try to GO to sleep. It's nothing
serious and I object to being kept
| awake"
He howled more Justify.
my son." | continued, 'this exhibition
of ingratitude astonishes me, and | IN
sist that you change your course of con-
duct at once, or leave my house. Filial
respect, if nothing"
"What in thunder and blazes are you
talking about ?"roared Mr.. Bowser, as he
sat up in bed.
"Pm talking sense TO baby"
"Not by a iugful. y on ain'tw
"Then you try it."
''Ill try it by wringing his neck if he
doesn't shut off steam! He's bowling out
of spite!"
"Then warn him that you may be COM
PEELED TO irfict due chastisement, but do
it calmly and dramatically"
&C! ! [! u
That's what Mr.. Bowser said as he
jumped out of bed and disappeared into
the spare room, and that was the last l
. saw of him until morning.
Treatment of Sprains