The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1889-05-02

get. The Lawrence Tribune is correct.
YESTERDAY was a great day in New
York, the greatest that city has seen
for many day, both as to the number
of visitors, which was enormous. and
the grandeur of display which was con-
Quoted on scale of magnifcence
never before surpassed in the country.
TALMAGE expects, he says, 20 live TO
see great political party controlling
the destinies of this nation with but two
planks in its platform, the Decalogue
and the Sermon on the Mount. The
learned doctor may have discovered the
elixir of life so vainly sought after by
the alchemists, but no one will believe
it.
A WORTHLESS fellow at Topeka
boarded with a comedy widow. He
wanted TO make her his wife, but she
would not, and said so frequently.
The night before last he thought it
would be a good idea, after she had
again refused him, to convert her into
an animated seiYe by perforating her
body with lead. Two bullets struck
her, but not in vital parts, and she will
recover. He will probably be found,
if he has not been already, and will be
sent to that home where there is no
giving in marriage-the Pen
So THE EmporIa Democrat has
passed from the editorial control of
McCown. 1t is now to be operated by
a pair of republicans who will ex-
pound the doctrines of the democratic
party as laid down by the founders. y
at least that is what McCown says
they will do, and of course they willtTy
to make the promise good, although
we suspect that they will burst few
hamestrings and belly-bands in the
effort. Their gait will probably be q
little woDbly and uncertain, but it viii
have to reel fearfully and land them in
the mud now and then, if 1t gets any
worse than that displayed by the edit
orial management of the Democrat
since the election last fall. He would
be the dullest of republican Ounce:
who could not do a better job of Eek
pounding the doctrines of the demo
cratic party as laid down by the found
ers'' than any that has appeared il
that paper in the period mentioned
above. AS for the new editors, W.
welcome them into the field of journal
ism, and hope they will excuse us i
we keep an eye on the quality of demo
cratic doctrine which such excellent re
publicans will ''expound."
For a varied assortment of lies, W
commend the following catalogu
framed by DR.. Talmage to our readers
as the best and fullest collection O
immoral brio a brac of that kind W
have met with. The lies aIe of tn
political sort. What a pity the docto
did not see fit to catalogue the variou
species of social. and business lies
What an interesting and bizarre list b
could make. But to his political Pc
pourni of unveracities:
At every yearly or quadrer
NAL election we have in thi
country great manufactures, manu-
factories of lies and they are run da
and and they turn out half anigh
dozen day all equipped add ready fo
full sailing, Large lies and small lies
Lies private and lies public and lie
prurient. Lies cut bias and lies Gu
diagonal. Long limbed lies and lie
with double backed action, Lies com
plimentary and lies detamatOry. Lie
that some people believe and lies tina
all the people believe, and lies that no
body believes. Lies with humps lik
= camels and scales like crOeodiles an
necks as long as storkS and feet q
swift as an antelcpe's and stings lik
!, adders. Lies raw and scalloped an
, PANIED ana stewed. Crawling lies an
jumping lies and soaring lies. Lie
with attachment screws and ruffiel
and braiders and ready wound bobDer'
/ Lies by Christian people who never i
; except during elections, and lies
people wuo always lie, but beat then
selves in presidential campaign.
S