The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1889-07-19
THE DOMESTIC COW.
\ Smart Young Man Investigates II
I-ntIniahEc Tt.,it,.

The poet has. from time imuemo-
rial. eaiogized the domestic ca (oJN-
on). Koc ODutch), or Cow (Modern
English). lie has done so without
having taken tho trouble u invcsti-
gate those unamiab.e traits in her
character which it j. tho object OF
this article TO criticisc. He uhc poct)
seems only TO have seen her In Err
Sunday Clothes, rs il We're, rraZiUg IN
the fragrant meadows or standing at
ease in The shadows OF the habn iug
br~okl"t.
~ nlrcu man recently attended, "a
tiremcn's picnic. not wisely, but too
well; and, after rcpcatci drialz>. he
very iIprjId"ntly locked horns with .
lar-cr man on the question of tariff re-
form. Need | say u9rr9 oaty t4iS.
That hc was assisted home b. friend g.,
suffering from severe iudisuos.-iou
and with his features sad.y Qua oi re
pair; - that, on the fo,3awiaf ,a5an-
iun. from "a sense cf duty. a.s. .s be-
times TO milk the domestic On (~:N-
ou), just a the first pale -tra-.ir- OF
dawn appeared in the eastern ky.
Girding on some Old clothes. !
started forth TO seek the kuc pu'ch).
She had unlocked the cate of tho
pasture with her horns. and was tncu
in the act of inspecting the ilpwcr-
garden. She had evidently been tho
for some time, during which she had
not boon Idle, and her manner was en-
tircly free from excitement.
Approaching with smile which
ii r. =
gard, | said in soothing tones: .'Soh.
bossyi 4oh, bos5y,' but. after cycling
me comprchcusiveIy for "a few mo-
ments, she backed leisurcly over e
valuable rhododcudron bush. and
then started through the shrubberv at
a swinging gait.
II would be painful to recount the
incidents Of that exciting chase
got nor IN The barn at last, and .rlc-
cccded in Delaying her head TO the
manager, after which l said: stand
over. in a distincttone Of voice. She
knew that | wanted her TO move TO the
left so that l could get room TO milk
her; but wilfully appearing TO misun-
stand the order, she stood over to
the right side, fattening me against
the ST.
Did ! swear? No, gentle reader,
did not. Why did | not swear? Be
cause the weight of the Gu (SaXon)
prevented respiration. Gathering
myself together as one man, ! hurried
her across the stall by "a supreme cf-
fort, and standing the hay-for5 where
she cou!d see il, prepared 70 milk.
Any one who has watched the opera
ton Of milking a COW viii maintain
that it Is a very simple thing TO do. ]
used to think so myself. bat it is "a
great mistake. l am ready to explain
to any one who viii listen to me for a
few hours. that it Is diff" al, very diff
fcult TO milk Koe Dutch). unless
there Is mutual understanding
n friendly feeling between the parties;
which, in my case. there was not.
Having seated myself under. the star
board quarter, / grasped the pail
firmly between my knees, rs | had
seen the hircling do, and commenced
to milk. No milk came for five
minutes, during which time I worked
on in silonce. while the ca jerl3ed
angry mouthfuls of hay out o. the
LlstllECf- q CT t'-G anon 4GSAAlG htF
tail against my hat, and looking
around with "A sarcastic smile; which.
however, / pretended not to notice:
but at last a snowy jet shot straight
into my left eye, and, in a short time.
another impaired an unnatural
warmth to my lap. | had succeeded
in bringing forth the milk; all that re-
manned wa TO di rect il into the pail.
This was not 10 be 50 easily done a.
you would suppose
In fifteen minutes / had brought
forth twenty-six squirts. distributed as
follows: Three in the left cyc. one in
the right, eleven on my trousers, two
on Koe's tail, Eve on the barn floor,
and the balance in the kettle.
just then the hand-maidcn appeared
and asked If | had finished milking.
She said that the family were waiting
for breakfast, and there was no milk
for the coffee. | told her to wait few
minutes that had not quite finished.
Leaning one dimplcd arm on an ad-
jaccnt hay cutter she watched my
efforts with increased amuzemcnt. and
atlength said, eagerly: Lord, Misther
-@N-'----' ~ AAAs MIN tiiN ADh " j. \
didn't ye AK me befoare2 Shure / used
to milk three cows down home bcfoara
] wint out TO sarvice!'
Recalling the incident OF Robert
Bruce and the historic spider. / felt
strongly disposed to hold on end con
qucr the difficulties or milking If il
took all day; but breakfast would have
TO be Indefinitely postponed, and the
feelings OF the family were entitled to
consideration; therefore / rose up and
allowed Gwondolinc Mulcahey to take
the helm. This she did with alacritv.
and, as the milk flew into the tin pail
in thick, vigorous streams, the reccp-
tacle responded with joyous "whing
whong, whing whong.r that seemed 10
say: Go it, Gwendoline; you are the
popular candidate, and you understand
your biz" The Gu (Saxon) also gave
vent TO a chuckle Of iI-concealed tri-
qmph as / started for the house
Adam Smith, in Texas Siftings.
The man who always insists upon
telling the exact truth finds bfrn=aIf T