The morning news., 1889-05-21
BRIGHT BITS


ing that jay fer Why, he can't sing that song
any better than 14-year-old boy.
Braggs-I knew be can't, but thought
would applaud him for his magnificent exhibit
ton Of nerve.-Terre Hdute Express
DOCTOR Your blood is deficient In quality,
Mr., Jones. What you need is more iron in the
system.
Mr.. Jones-That can't be. doctor. have
stepped on at least twenty-five tacks with my
bare fest since house cleaning beguI,-Buriin9-
ton Free Press
MRS. GADD-You look tired, Mrs. Gabb. What
is the matter?
Mrs. Gabb-Tired! I'm nearly dead. Ivesat
al my bathroom window for seven weeks right
along, listening to the sounds in the parsonage
next door, and haven't heard cross word yet.
-NeW York WeektU.
FIRST CIvs IDLER-What does this mean.
The paper says that Rococco, the well-known
architect, IS in the insane asylum.
Second Club ldler-Oh. yes: he drew the plans
for house to cost SIS 900, and it cost only go
600. A commission at once appointed
which declared him insane.-NetC York Tribune.
the only reason we have for believing that
DR.. p II. Cronin is safe is the circumstance that
the Chicago police believe him to have been
murdered. If person is in doubt what to
think about anything, the enly safe thing for
him to do is to find out what the Chicago police
think, and then think just the contrary
Chicago NeicS.
He KNEW HER.-Mrs Hendricks-Bertie, your
mother is calling you.
BERTHE Teaser-fes'm, know it. But guess
she don't want me very bad.
Mrs: Hendricks-Shes called you seven times
already
BERTHE Teaser-Yes, know; but she hasn't
yelled Albert" yet.-Time
THAT FETCHED IT.-Pallat, A. R. do Polly
Poser the popular modell-I want you to call
up look of expectancy; of long1ng for some
thing that you fee you will never grasp.
Polly tpromptly)-An right, Mister P, I'll
think of tnat thirty bob as you owes me for
that last half-dozen o settins That'u do the
trick if anything will Fun.
SISTER THEYsAY-I previously regret you
leave our church, dear pastor.
Pastor Peaceful-You should not grieve No
doubt the Lord will send you better servant to
fill my place
Sister tt have no such hope. OF the last
thirteen pastors we have had every one has
been worse than the other-O1Idhd World.
WHAT'S the occasion?" queried the tramp
as he came to a dozen or more carriages before
home on Fourteenth avenue.
Funeral" answered one Of the drivers.
"Old or young?"
BABY. believe"
Good l struck an old man out here for
quarter the other day and I was afraid the
shock had killed him. Detroit Free Press.
BETTER PRIcEs FOR GAs.-"That's Tipkins',
darter, Her mother used to do the washin' for
Browns folks, you remember" "
1T is? They must er made money somehow -
Yes; he made pile out Of natural gas in
Findlay."
Natural gas! Why that's what kept him so
poor here. He never did anything but Law
around and gas, and never made cent by it,
Time.
WHERE NATURE COMES Our.-Winks-Don't 7
you marry that girl as you value your happi-
ness.
Jinks-Eh? What that
She's scheming, cold-blooded, hard, and
selfish."
''See here You don't even know her"
mo; but in a crowded railroad train the
other day saw her sitting on the aisle end of
the seat with her sachel pumped on the other
end.-NeO York Weekly
CAUsHT AT LAsT.-Father' shouting down
stairs in an angry voice)-Mary.
Mary (who is with her beau who has been
waiting on hsr for about three years)-Yes, sir.
F-Is Mr. Slowcoach there?
M.-Yes. sir
Els he proposing to you that he is staying
so late?
NJ. TO Mr.. slowcoach in frightened Whisper
Oh what shall say?
Mr.. S-(tremsling in his boots)-Say yes
NJ. Ito her father)- Yes papa.
fail right, all rigat; excuse me. Tell him
he can nave you. Bless you both, my children
He needn't hurry away.-Boston Courier.