davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1889-09-19

LORD TENNYsoN devotes the pension OF
$1,000 a year which he receives as poet
laureate to the relief Of the members Of
the literary profession who are in pecuniary
a
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1889-09-19


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i.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1889-09-19

There white each represented be Just good as the
/" they ARE NOT like all countee lack the peculiar and remark
able qualities of the genuine Ask for Ivory" Soap and insist getting
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-01-29
Big Bug and Small Potato.

Ex-Attorney General Palmer is fond of a joke, and he isn't put out bit if the joke is on him, just so it is funny. He dresses very neatly and is not given to jewelry except in the matter of a scarf pin, and an adornment of this. character once led to remark about him that set all Wilkesbarre to laughing. He had purchased very handsome pin in the shape of bug, which was of rather loud size and pretty conspicuous. It looked like an exaggerated potato bug. His friends guyed him considerably about it, and that scarf pin became the talk of the town. One day a prominent German saloon keeper passed Mir Palmer as the latter stood at his office door, looked out the corner of his eye at the scarf pin and smiled. Instantly the attorney, in his quick, sharp way, said:
 "Wen, Dutchy, what's the matter with youl What are you laughing att"
 "Oh, holdings, MT. Balmer"
 "Yes, you were. You were laughing at this scarf pin. Whats the matter with it2"
 II guess it's all right, MT. Balmer."
 "Well, look at it and see. Is there any thing the matter with iti Examine it."
 The German drew nigh, carefully scanned the pin, looked 1t over gravely, and was about to turn away, when Mir. Palmer said:
 "Well, what's the matter with that bug scarf pina What do you thinkp'
 Well, MT. BalIner," said the German, "I don'd know but vat I never before saw so big bug on so schman potato," and he walked off with queer grin on his face
 Tho remark struck Mir Palmer as being exceedingly funny, and he told 1t to some of his friends. Pa.) Telegraph.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-01-29
A Mashers' Syndicate.

The London masher, to whom the question of clothes is an all important one, has devised a system by which his resplendent appear ance need not suffer in these hard times of C.
 o. D., or even c. w. O., tailors. He Joins a club, each member of which pays a small en- trance fee and an annual subscription. Va rious groups of clothes are ordered by the club from the prevailing monarch of fashion in gentlenen's modes Lots are then drawn by the members of similar physical propor- tions to ascertain which has first, second and third choice, and so on. The first win her has the use of the suit for three months, after which.the second takes his revenge out of them, others following till Ichabod has been unmistakably written by the unsparing hand of time across the syndicate garments
 At that stage the Whitechapel dandy gets them for dollar, more or less, and event ually a shoddy manufacturer buys the frag- ments and works them up again into "war- ranted oil wool" fabrics, when they start of on their rounds again to delight the Oxford street chippies on the Adonis like persons of their favorite swains.-New York Mercury.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-01-29
CHAPTER III.

On their arrival at the theatre, armed with Miss Bretherton's order, Mrs. Stuart's party found themselves shown into large roomy box close to the stase-too close, indeed, for purposes of seeing we'll. The house was al- ready crowded, and Kendall noticed, as he scanned the stalls and boxes through his opera glass, that it contained a considerable sprinkling of notabilities of various kinds It was large new theatre, which hitherto had enjoyed but very moderate share of popular favor, so that the brilliant and eager crowd with which it was now filled was i'll itself 0 sufficient testimony to the success of the actress who bad wrought so great a transformation.
 What an experience is this for q girl of 9 :" whispered Kendall to Mrs. Stuart, who was comfortably settled in the further cor ner of the box Ter small dainty figure set off by the crimson curtains behind 1t. 'One would think that an actors life must stir the ity, that it must call every power into action and strike sparks out of the dullest."
 'Yes; but how seldom it is sop
 "Wen, ill England, at any rate, the fact is, their training is so imperfect they darer't let themselves go. It's only when a man possesses the lower secrets of his art per fectly that he can aim at tho higher. But the band is nearly through the overture Just tell me before the curtain goes up some thing about the play. 1 have onl. very vague ideas about it. The scene is laid in Berlin"
 ''Yes; i'll the Altes Schloss at Berlin. The story is based upon the legend of the White Lady,"
 What, the warning phantom of the Eo- henzollernsT"
 k,,or II-I Prussia is in love with the beautiful Countess Hilda von Weissenstein. Reasons of state, however, oblige him to throw her over and to take steps towards marriage with a prin- cess of Wurtemberg. They have just been betrothed when the countess, mad with jealousy, plays the part of the White Lady and appears to the princess to try and terrify her out of the proposed marriage"
 And the countess is Miss Brsthertonr'
 "Yes Of course, the malicious people say that her getting up the White Lady is really tho raison d'etre of the piece. But, hush! there is the signal. Make up your mind to be bored by the princess; she is one of the worst sticks ever saw!"
 Tho first scene represented the ballroom at the Schloss, or rather the royal anteroom, beyond which the vista of the ballroom opened. The Frussian and Wurteinberg Aoo oAeieS Aau 1o1 yee aiil'eu, "AIn tue eA- ception of the Prince Wilhelm, op whose matrimonial prospects tie play was to turn. He was engaged in explaining the situation to his friend, Waldemar von Rothenfels, the difficulties in which he v.as placed, his pas sion for the Countess Hilda, the political necessities which forced him to marry & daughter of tho house of Wurtemberg, tho pressure brought to bcaf~upon him by his parents, and his own despair at having to break the news to tho countess.
 The story is broken off by the arrival of the royalties, including the pink and white maiden who is to Do Prince Wilhelm's fate, and the royal quadrille begins. The prince
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-01-29
When You Kill Your First Gator,

When ono kills his first alligator he is all enthusiasm Nothing will do but that he must secure the body of his game and hack out with infinite labor some of the teeth as trophies; the nasty wet form of the saurian is dragged aboard, to the amazement of the timers, who. watch the gloating ecstasy with which the slayer examines his prize with much the same feelings an old hound must have when regarding the first efforts of Q promising pup. When, after staying dozen or so, the novice finds out what useless things alligators are, he pots the beasts with uncon- cern and does not deem it necessary to inter rupt the pleasure of shooting with the labor of securing the game.-Forest and Stream.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-01-29

A. W. Pierce, of Cape Elizabeth, Ms, owns one of the largest poultry farms in New Eng land. He has at present between 1000 and 5000 birds.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-01-29
Times Are HarC

To be continued.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-01-29
POSTOFFICE
Mails Close.

 New York City-7.50, 1o. 20 m; 2.1o 5ss, 7.aOp a. Boston-7O0, 7.5o m; 12. 30, 210, 2. 80 D m. Southern-7.50, 10.2O nn:t 2. 10, {. 30 F.SO D m Western-75o, 1oeoa n; 21o. 5.s0, 7.3o pm. Canada West-7.30, 10. 20 m; 2 10, f530 7.So m, Canada East-7. 60, 750 m; 80, c.1O G 30 D n Albany-7.50, 10.2O m; 9 10, 80, 7.3o D m. Northern N. Y-7.5o. 1920 m; 2.10. b3O, 2. 90 IT. Providence-7.0O, 7.5O m 12. 30, 2IO 730 nj. Springfield 7:5o am; 1aso 10, 5.so, 7.so pm. Worcester-7.00, 7.50 am: 1230 2.10, 6.3O, 7S0 pm, Pittsteld Mass 50 ID; 2.1o, 5.s0, 7.3o p m. Hartford-7.OO, 7.5O a m; 12. 80, 2.i0, 7.30 pm. Bridgeport-7.50 .50 10 20 m; e.1U, 5.30, 30pm New Haven7.50, TO 20 am; 12. 30, 2. To- 5s0 80 pm Ansonia- 1920 m: 23O 2 10. 5.so, SaO A. Union City-1.50 a m; 2. 10, 5.30 ID. Naugatuck-7.50 a m; 2.1O, 5. go D m Seymour-7.50 a m; 2.1O, 53O D m Winsted-10.55 ID; 6.SO D m Stations on Naugatuck RR north Waterbury
 10.45 m; 630pm. Meriden-7.5O 10.sO m; F. .o0 21o, 80, 2. 30 n. Danbury-7.5o a m; 1.25, BIO, 5.30 : 30 D m New London-1.00, 7.50 am; 12 3O 9 10 $50 q so pm Watertown-10.45 m; (. 30 m Oakville-10.45 a m; 6. 80 m Woodbury-7.3O, 10 45 m; 125 pm Southbury-7.30 30 a m; 1.S5 m. Mlddlebury-12.30 80 m Wolcott Cru, Tn, Sat.) 12.3Oam
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-01-29

A we have decided to lower our Table Board which is frstclass to $500 per week. Ladies $2.5O. Give trial. Private room for ladies MITCHELL'S 5 ds 10 CENT DINING ROOM
 62 East Main Street
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-01-29
NOTICE

nURING THE SESSION OF THE LEGISLA- u ture will be at my office Mondays and and evenings when specially required. MI Judd will be at the office constantly.
 HENRY B. GRAVES, Waterbury, Jan ary 8, 1889.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-01-29

The Most Striking Feature of the South.
 Well, Patrick, what struck you most dur ing your southern trip2"
 'The mule, sorl" replied Patrick, with a grin that disclosed the absence of nine molars. Burlington Free Presn
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29

stayed until Friday night. Come again, Uncle Nat.
 Our little girl Sue mashed off her thumb nail Monday.
 Our neighbOrhOod is unusually quiet. Oscar Spillers shot Bob Fruit Sunday Pruitt is dead.
 Revival going on at Mt. Nebo.
 Je6 Jones shot at Bud Patterson day before yes- terday, but with the exception of breaking one of his legs, did him no damage.
 Basket picnic at Crowfoot Saturday last. We ate diDner with Aunt Patsy Joyner. Thanks, Aunt Patsy.
 Steve Malone fell out of tree Tuesday and broke his neck
 Camp meeting will begin at Red Sulphur next week. A large attendance is expected Sib Jackson is dead.
 Trade is lively.
 Young ducks arc numerous.
 Alb Stilwel's corn looks well.
 We have organized a beef club
 Uncle Jesse Hess broke his thigh Sunday. The doctor said he would pull through all right but he Is dead Such Is the irony of fate.
 Good deal of dogfennel has come up this season. A mad dog has been seen near town. catfish weighing ten pounds was caught the other day by Uncle Ball Jurnagan. He gave us the fish. Thanks, Uncle Ball.
 Good many hogs running loose in the woods tree fell on Scott Powers and broke his leg Preaching at Holdover Saturday night Bob Withersford Is dead. So is Bill Murray More anon
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29

"Ah-hAhl And what would you have done with the moneyi"
 "W'y, I'd CT tuck out fifty cents fur merse'f an gin de rest O it ter dis generman, sAh"
 "Yes, but how did you know that he wanted ter part with the watch?"
 "How know it1 Wy, er-w'y, er-dat is, Ah, jes said ter myself, here's CT young feller an somebody oughter take kere O him care he kAin't take kere O hissek He's gwine round yere wid or watch but ain't got money, an CT man dat ain't got no money doan need CT watch, an"
 "ThAt will do. I will see what effect term in the county jail will have on you."
 "Now-now-now dis do settle it. Neber gwine take mo- intrust In stranger laung CT lib. Try to hep CT man in his erfAirs an git put in jail fur It. Dis yere is dun teached me CT lesson, an alter dis folks is got ter look out fur darselves."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE.

Tom Robison was an old school Presbyterian; 1; and 90 far as outward observances went, his life conformed strictly to the rules laid down by the church discipline. His Sabbath began with the going down of the sun Saturday night and lasted until midnight of Sunday He was austere bigoted and hypocritcal. He had one prayer which he had used, without change or rest, night and morning in his home and on Sundays in the church for at least twenty five years. In fact Tom was machine Christian sort of pious automatOn : he had spent good deal of time ascertaining his routine churchy duties and these he discharged in failing, drop nickel in- the- slot sort of fashion. He kept sort of book account with the Almighty, and took good care to keep fAir-sized credit on his side of the ledger.
 But Tom had one weakness-he would trade horses; and it goes without saying that Christ ian has any business to ever trade horses. Toms method of squaring account, that is of easing his conscience in his horse deals certainly original
 He used to put has lies against the other fellows and call 1t even. Whenever he got wofully cheated which happened not infrequently, he very freely and frankly forgave the fellow who had gotten the best of him. and then laid low and waited for ducks and, as a rule, it was not long before he found a chance to get even. On a certain occasion, how ever, Tom traded horses with a brother deacon in the church and waxed it to him to the tune of hundred dollars or more. The deacon who had got the worst of the trade went to the minister about it, and finally the matter was brought before the board of sessions and Tom was hauled up on trial for conduct unbecoming a church member and a Christian. When 1t came his turn to testify, Tom slowly arose, and addressing the moderator, said:
 "Mr. Moderator and Gentlemen: To give you the straight of this thing I'll have to go back bout
 five years"
 Here there was visible commotion among the board and the plaintiff coughed violently and got very red in the face. Resuming, Tom said: Bout
 five year ago come next corn-plantin' was one day goin' over to Adams mill with grist, when who should I meet but Deacon Wilson there I Here he nodded towards the plaintiff. was drivin' spankin' three year old colt that had hitched up for bout the first time alongside of its mother, steady old mare as l ever pulled a line over. Well, the deacon was ridin' mighty likely -lookin' critter hissef looked at his horse an he looked at mine, and first thing knowed he bantered me for trade. got down outen the wagon an looked his horse all over purity keerful like, an says: Deacon, your horses eyes are bad; fact is, he's moon-eyed,' aysL
 "sNot by blamed sight, he ain't,' says the dea- con. That horses eyes is as sound as yours You're mistaken for once,' says he.
 "Well," continued Tom, "I didn't suppose the deacon would lie to me, brother in the church, and @ we traded took that horse home" said Tom, raising his voice little, "an' he went stone blind in less'n . month"; He paused c moment
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29
OUR ILL ASPIRATIONS.

RELIGIOUS sERvIcs POLISH JEws-our front page striking and interesting picture The perhaps than others of this of people, cling the old forms of worship They almost literally the rites and ceremonies which were part Jewish religion under the Mosac dispensaton both interesting and instructive to study up ancient history little on this point
 FoRr PAYNR-We present in this of THE TRAvKLKR graphic views Of Fort Payne Ala of the south Accompanying these illus
 ratons is article descriptive of the place h well reading especially for those of readers whe looking place locate It cannot bs denied that south with mineral barely yst dsve ops agricultural possibilities offers meet inviting hed all seeking homes where industry and nts gence arc sure to receive the richsst resurna
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29
A PHILANTHROPIST.

Henderson Bullring, pronouncedly of African descent had negro arrested a charge of attempt ing to defraud him of fifty cents.
 "State the facts" said the judge.
 "Well, sah," the defendant answered, "it won't be hard fur me ter state de lacks in de case. Dis yere man keeps sort O eatin house. I went in dar yestidy ter git suthin ter eat. An I eat fifty cents wuth, an den, alter sarchin' my pockets an fndin dat didn' hab no money, l tuck off my watch an gin it ter de generman an tole him ter keep it till I come back wid de money. He took de watch mighty willin', tell you. An he sorter smiled he did, am toe me dat neenter be in no great sweat bout fetchin' de money. 1 went erway an in erbout CT haf hour skeerd up de money an went back, but de had dun shet up de house an lef."
 "How is this2" said the judge, speaking to Bull- ring. "You took the mans watch to keep until he should return and pay you fifty cents. He came back pretty soon and found that you had gone away Now you have him arraigned on a charge of fraud"
 "Yas sah."
 fifty cents."
 "Yss sah."
 "I don't see how you make that out"
 alt wuz dis way when he gin me de watch 1 thought had suthin sho nuf, an l didn' want him ter come back wid dat fifty cents, so shet up my place an went out ter sell dat watch, but when luck it ter erjewelry sto da tole me dat it want wuth twenty-h' cents. Dat want no way ter treat CT man in his own house. Come CT deceebin him by snatchin' out CT watch like 1t wuz wuth ten dollars"
 "Did he tell you how much the watch was worth?"
 "No, sah."
 "Well, then, how did he deceive you?"
 "Caze knowin' dat I thought it wuz CT fine watch he oughter tole me dat it want no count"
 "Did you tell him that you were going to steal the watch2"
 "Look yere, jedge, wharfo' you make dat sorter sklamation?"
 "Had you found that the watch was of any value you would have sold it, wouldn't youf"
 "Yss, sah."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29

here to watch tho effect of his words on his jurors and then continued "I found out afterwards that that horse had been goin' blind every dark of the moon for 6 year; am that Deacon Wilson, the plaintiff in the case, kep goose quill and bottle of fine salt in the stable am every time he took the crtter out he blowed its eyes full of alt to cut the scum Oen its eyes, sos you couldn't tell there was anything the matter with lem. Now, bretherin'," inquired Tom, persuAsively, "did squealf Did come before the church with complaint against Brother Wilson an try to get him busted an dis graOed afOre the whole community No, forgive him like man an a brother ought ter do. I knowed the timed come when could git even. The Lord generally brings things out right to those who have faith an who try ter do His will"
 He sat down amid slight but subdued murmur of applause. The plaintiff, or more properly speak ing the complainant had already stated his side of the case, 90 the board of moderators had only to request both the parties before them to retire while they made up their decision. Half an hour later 1t was announced, and was, in substance, as follows:
 "We find that the charges of conduct unbecom- ing a Christian, which were preferred against Brother Thomas Robison, of this church, by Brother Deacon Britton J. Wilson, also . member of this church, to De not sustained oy any evidence which was put before this board. We therefore dismiss this case and extend tO Brother B fso5is0zl R the right hand of fellowship and assure him that he still has our sympathy, and that our confidence in him as a true and faithful Christian remains unimpaired. We further find Brother Wilson, the complainant in this case his own admissions, to have been guilty of practicing deceit on a brother church member and do recommend his being held to trial for the at the next regular session of this body"
 The above Is not fancy sketch but literal fact. - Ed. F. Pritchdrd.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29

Pleasant For His Readers.-We are married. Goodbye to mother -in-law jokes-Ddasvitle Breeze.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29

The "witty" eastern" "paragraphers" have begun to make sport of the Johnstown disaster. It is pity that these amusing gentlemen had not been in Johnstown at the time of the flood. The man who would attempt to extract fun from the heart broken cry of mother Is a cold -blooded wretch.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29

Searching Small Boy-"Daddy, why didn't he tell lie when his father asked him about the cherry tree?"
 Cynical Parent-"Hum, guess he was getting one ready, boy, but spose he hadn't time to hatchet." - NetC York Herald
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29

"Ma," said Bobby, ais 1t wrong for little boys to tie tin kettles to dogs tAil1"
 "Decidedly wrong, Bobby; I hope you'll never do such thing as that"
 "No, indeed, ma" replied Bobby emphatically i; "all do is to hold the dog."-Havper's Bazar.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29

A New Trade.-"Yes, mum; father kept an inn at Little Peddington, and mother kept the post office there"
 "And your late msster-who and what was he2"
 "The Rev. MT. Wilkins, ma'am. He kept a vic- arsge at Nottingham close by i"-Paach.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-06-29

FOR THE ARKANsAw TRAVELLER.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1889-05-23
POETRY.
THE WAY TO HEAVEN.
HY J. G.. HOLLAND,

Heaven is not reached by 4 single
bound;
But we build the ladder by which we
rise
From the lowly earth to the yaulted
skies,
And VIC mount to it's summit round by
round.
I count this thing to he grandly true;
That noble deed is a step toward
God,
Lifting the soul from the common
To q purer air and 4 broader view.
We rise by the things that are under
our feet:
BY what we have masteksl of good
and gain:
BY the pride deposed and the passion
slain,
And the vanquished ills that We hourly
meet.
We hope, we aspire, we resolve, we
trust,
When the morning calls lis to life
and light,
But our hearts grow weary, and, ere
the night,
Our lives are trailing the s0rdid dust.
We hope, we resolve, we aspire, we
pray,
And we think that We mount the air
on wings
Beyond the recall of sensual things,
While our feet still cling to the heavy
clay.
Wings for the angels, but feet for men,
We may borrow the wings to find the
way
We may hope, and resolve, and as
pirc, and pray,
But our feet must rise, or We fall
again.
Only in dreams is 4 ladder thrown
From the weary earth to the sap
phire walls:
But the dreams depart and the vision
falls.
AID the sleeper wakes on his pillow of
stone.
Heaven is not reached ut Il single
bound
But we build the ladder by which we
rise
From. the lowly earth to the yaulted
skies,
And we mount to it's summit round by
round.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1889-05-23

NOBUCKELBENDER. - VIC nave
been told many interesting stories
that had their origin in the " Indie
pendent Staten Of Webster, but
have Just heard one related that IS
too good to keep.
Two gentlemen, one of whom is
from our town, were in Addison last
week and were talking politics on
one of the street corners, and were
Joined in conversation by one Of the
Intelligent natives of that country:
He said that for his part he did not
take much interest in politics, that
he read his Bible; he had heard
last fall that Harrison was elected,
but had not learned whether he had
taken his seat. The pious gentle.
man of Webster said he knew OF
two very smart men Of whom he
had been reading in the Bible q
great deal about" Chiselhack" and
g acknowledgements. "-B,tsy Bee.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1889-05-23
-A<sos<r

Or, WHAT 4 COCGH !-Will you
heel the warning" The signal per-
haps of the sure approach Of that
more terrible disease, Consumption.
Ask yourselves if you can afford for
the sake of saving 30 cents, to run
the risk and do nothing for it. We
know from experience that Shiloh's
Cure will cure your cough. 1tnever
fails. This explains why more than
n million hotties were sold the past
year. 1t relieves Group and WhOop-
ing Cough at once. Mothers, do not
be without it. For lame back, side
or chest, use Shiloh's Porous PlaS-
ter. Sold by o. P. Sydenstrickcr,
LeWiShurg.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1889-05-23

MA. "IIavc you got that famous
mincc pie recipe Of yours, Maria ?"
ayes. Why? It's rather late for
mincc pie"
81 was just reading hero about a
burglar who got into house in New
Jersey. He got hold Of some mince
pic, and the paper says-hcrc it is a:
in the morning he was found
seated in the middle Of the kitchen
floor, in q dazed and helpless condi-
ton, and he fell an easy prey to the
officers
Well, what has"
"Just make some Of your mince
pies and I won't buy that burglar
alarm.n