Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1889-05-09
SENSE AND NONSENSE

ONE touch of dead-beat nature makes
the whole world skin.
A DEBT over game of cards is, even
though entirely honest, a trumped-up
charge.
Why is it that man never gives the
minister so high fee for marrying him
the second time?
"IT was an awful sight," quoth Mrs.
Spriggins. at was just like one OF
those horrorscopes you dream about"
THEY met by chance. She seemed distract,
While he was i'll Mt ease.
She hal on onions dined that day,
He on lfnburger cheese.
The bin collector probably doesn't
like his business any better than the
man who pays him, but 1t has to he
dun.
LAW is like sieve. You may see
through il, but you must be consider
ably reduced before you can get
through 1t.
The difference (there is difference)
between gas well and the spring fish
erman is that one is bore for gas and
the other is goer for bass.
"How's BUSINESS this morning, Mr..
Pellet?" "Very brisk, thank you, re-
piled the druggist "Pve sold ten q
cent stamps and three postal cards in
the last hour"
The champion sculler" and the
champion scholar" are often gradu-
ated from the same college, but the
former makes the most money.-No1'-
risto,Cn Herald.
THEY had been talking about orders
and decorations, and their conversation
drifted round to the land of the Teuton.
whats the principal German order?"
Smith queried. "Zwei beer" was
Jones' prompt reply.
FIRST countryman: "That feller In
store-clothes is putin on heep o
style; wish / could take him down a
bit" Second countryman: where's
the chap from 2" New York Ask
Mrs. JAGGs-Full again, suppose?
i declare, you are nothing but per-
ambulating saloon. Mr.. Jaggs-Bet
nobody calls you saloon. Want t.
know wy? I'll just tell you. Sloon
does shut up once week, n you never
(hic) do.
"THERE is absolutely nothing new in
bonnets this spring." exclaimed Mrs.
Potts on her return from shopping
tour. II can tell you what would be some
thing new in women's bonnets, said Mr..
Potts, with the air of a man who has
an idea. "Well, what? Cheapness ?"
asked his spouse. "No. Brains"
IT has hitherto been maintained that
the curl in pigs tail is more for orna-
ment than use. The position Is no
longer tenable. A large SOW was seen
walking down a Cincinnati street somo
time ago with piece of red tape at
tached to said curl, from which was ap-
pended card on which was written
Patrick Doolans Pig Betsy"
New BoARpER-"It strikes me these
biscuits are tough" Mrs. Bazoo (the
Iandlady)-"Young man, / made those
biscuits, and I've made them before
YOU were born" New boarder (un-
abashed)-"I don't doubt it, ma'am
but why don't you keep them in the
curio cabinet? Aren't you afraid
, somebody might break them?"
A.-@WHAT did your uncle do for
you in his will ?" Bills will was
! entirely in my favor. I'm in luck =
, Left you al MS money, ulu ne wv
/, directly. He left all his property to
4 charitable institutions. Il thought
. YOU said you were in luck ?" $50
am. All the other heirs are going to
: break the will, and they have employed
. me as their lawyer"
: : BACK AND FRONT VIEW.
He followed her right down the street,
With his eyes ON her little back glued,
3 He noted her sweet rippling feet
n And her hat with its bows many-hued.
picture he mentally drew
I OF her jacket OF fawn-colored stuh
y Her dress OF dainty spring hue.
t Her gloves and her little fur nun.
: He wondered what kind Of a face
o On that figure Dame Nature had planted,
o Curiosity FASTENED his pace;
To see for himself the wretch wanted
She turned and he fed for his life,
With laugh that was hollow and forceds
n For the peri was only his wife,
i From whom he had just been divorced.
\ AT THE BASEBALL PARK.