Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1889-07-14
PRONUNCIATION.
Test for the Edification of the Young Folks
that May Interest the Old as Well

Test for the Edifcation Of the Young Folks
that May Interest the Old as Well.
Roland and Rosamond were lovers.
Rosamond was ephemeral but comedy
hypochondriacal but not lugubrious,
didactic but not dishonest, nor given to
ribald or truculent grimaces. Her pedal
extremities were perhaps a trif1e toaE
large for playing organ pedals succe4
fully; but her heart was not at all ada-
mainline, and her address was perempz
tory without being diffuse. Roland on
the other hand, was of saturnine aeztR
tenance, at once splenetic and confbat9ve
in disposition so that his wassA Fand
orgies were almost maniaeal in their eff
fects. He was telegrapher by profes-
sion, having received a diploma from
Caius college, but aggrandized his sti-
pend by dabbling in philology, orthoepy
and zoology during his leisure hours, so
that he was accused Of fetichism and ter
giyersation by his patrons, Still ,slstsN
acumen and presence were such That
Eonly a misogynist would discern tHEt he
was an aspirant for the gallowsgs His
aeetic, rather than ascetic, naturally in
clined him to visit chemical laboraipry
well filed with apparatus, To-
which he had access, whence
he often returned with glob-
ules of iodine and albumen on his
caoutchouc shoes, which subjected him:
to the risk of numerous alterations win
his landlady, a virago and pythoness IN
one, and with the servant, her accessory
or ally. Roland had, however, become
acclimated to his place, received every
thing with equability, reclined upon the
dIyan, where he contemplated the elys-
ium where Rosamond dwelt, and al IS
dressed donatiYe disitichs to her IN the
subsistence of raillery. There was GER
tain diocesan who endeavored to dispos-
sess Roland in the affections of Rosa
mond, but he was enervateash8 bren
chitis, laryngitis and diphtherlaSs
which, on their subsideneS5
left his carotid artery lns an
apparently lethargic condition. HAhads
sent Rosamond ring with ONYX chat
cedonic variety stones, and once hung a.
placard where he knew she would see it
from her easement; but she steadfastly
rejected his overtures and ogled him as
if he were dromedary. The diocesan
betook himself to absolutory prayers, but
continued his digressions and inquiries.
Roland became cognizant of this amour,
and armed with Il withe he inveighed
against this interloper, who defended
himself with a falchion until Roland
sdIsarmed him, houghing his palfrey
withal. After the joust the preben-
dairy abjectly apologized. albeit in a
scarcely respIrable condition, then hast
ened to the pharmaceutic IS arIe for CO.
pabia, morphine and quinine, and was
not seen again until the next Aiich9lmas.
Roland returned on Christmas Day, took
an inventory of his possessions, which
consisted of a large package of almond
cement, package Of envelopes, dish
of anchovy sauce, tame falcen, book
of acoustics, a miniature of mirage, a
treatise on the epizootic, a stomacher
lined with sareenet, a cerement of sep
ulture, cadaver, and a bomb. The
next Day the hymeneal rites were per-
formed, and Rosamond became thence
forth his faithful co-adjutanf and house
wife.