Morning journal and courier., 1889-02-28
QUOTATIONS.

Managing editor to market reporter-"How are eggs quoted to-day, Smiths" Smith "Not quoted, sir. They are unfit for publi- cation.-Burlington Free Press.
 Miseries of Trade.-Druggist (awakened at 9 m)-"What do you wisha'' Voice Cat the door)-"If you'll let me look in your directory to see how to address this letter I'll buy the postage stamp of you. ."-New York Weekly.
 Heraldic Suggestion.-The settlers of the prospective State of North Dakota are dis cussing the question of characteristic coat of-arms. A frozen steer, fringed with ici- cles, would make quite an appropriate em- blem.-Texas Siftings.
 s'What the duce does Mrs. wear sc many pufs and things fora" asked lady at the Von Schroeder ball last week ''Why, was the reply, 'she has indulged so much ir fashionable dissipation that she has the de lirium trimmings. San Francisco Newi Letter.
 Mrs. Winks-tsThe paper says O cold wave has developed in Montana, and is expected here within 8 week" MT. Winks-s'Well send word to the plumber that our pipe have burst, and then he and the cold wav' will ges here about the same time. e."-Nev York Weekly.
 Zske Wayback-Can you give me posi- ton in your printing office, sir.
 Printer-Do you know anything about setting types
 Zeke Wayback-N-o, sir; but I'ye SC hens ever since I was knee high to grass hopper. Burlington Free Press.
 Bobby-Say, papa! I wonder if you know everything?
 Father (with condescension)-We per haps not, my boy. What is it nowa
 Bobby-I was wondering if the graduates from the Cooper Institute know all abou how to make bsrrels2-Lowell Citizen.
 Nagsbee (solicitously)-What would b. your candid answer to the popular conun drum, fsIs marriage a failures'
 Mrs. Nagsbee (getting even)-My candid opiniona Well-ahem- I've known some failures who were married, and it is a pool rule, you know.-Detroit Free Press.
 'Books published 300 years ago sell fol from $25 to $500 volume" Many moderr authors, whose unstable editions are repos ing on booksellers shelves, must regret that they didn't have their works printed in the fifteenth century. But we don't suppose they thought of that.-Norristown Herald.
 A Misunderstanding Knickerbockel (of New York, dining in Boston, adapts hel conversation to her environment)-sD you consider the religion ot the American Indian pure theism, Mir. Twomblys' MT. Twom I mean you are under a slight misapprehen- sion. am from Chicago!"-Puck.
 Mrs. Angy Tupper, nee Golddust, (aftel the elopement)-Oh please, papa. do forgive us. loved Angy so that couldn't help it. but loved you, dear papa, so that couldn't rest until I had come back to tell you all
 Papa-Well! Welll suppose must make the best of a bad job. But where's Angys
 Mrs. Tupper-Outside with the cabman. Couldn't you lend your own dear Caramelia enough to pay the brutea Poor Angy only had enough for the minister.-Puck.
 A Bad Mixture-A doctor told woman who was suffering from @ sore throat that she should prepare drink composed of honey and vinegar, in the proportion of two parts of honey to one of vinegar. When the doc tor made his next visit he asked the patient how she liked the drink. Bad, doctor, very bad. It was fearfully sour." "Not if you followed my directions. Two parts of honey to one of vinegar cannot be very sour," re- piled the doctor, tasting the beverage, whict he found to be very sour indeed. ''How did you make this drinka'' he asked. 'Just at you told me. mixed up twenty oents worth of honey with two quarts of vinegar for ter cents. ."-Texas Siftings.