davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1889-09-05

Miss..Mary Roberts, Of Fox River, came
up to attend the convention of Y. +. G. E..
at Racine with Miss Clara Bishop, Frank
Roberts and u number of Bristolians and
Parisians too numerous to mention. They
report an interesting meeting.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
Witty TOasts.

Good after dinner speakers are among the
most popular of men among people who cul-
tivate the art of dining. The flashes of wit
which draw forth roars of laughter and ap-
lause are sometimes unprecedented. But pro.
badly they are more frequently thought out
and rehearsed in advance. Impromtu or not,
we all like witty speech and witty toast.
Chambers Journal has collected some witty
and amusing toasts given at banquets, and,
in reading them, one can only Sigh, Would
l had been thereW
A rather cynical toast ran thus: "Woman
she requires no eulogy; she speaks for her.
SELF"
A gallant young man, under the same fes-
tai circumstances, referred to one member of
the sex he eulogzed as "a delectable dear, so
sweet that honey would blush in her presence,
and treacle stand appalled,"
At the marriage supper of deaf and dumb
couple, one guest, in the speech of the even
ing wished them "unspeakable bliss"
A writer Of comedies was given banquet
in honor OF his latest work, at which jovial
guest gave the toast: "The authors very
good health May he live to be as old as his
jokes"
AT another gathering were toasted, "Tbe
bench and the bar If it were not for the bar,
there would be little use for the bench"
As pithy was the following toast, proposed
at shoemaker's dinner: MAY we have all
the women in the country to shoe, and all the
men TO boot"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
Don't You Pinch My Nose.

A St. Paul gentlemen, who, many years
ago, was resident OF Cincinnati, tells story
concerning Powers, the sculptor, which has
never been in print. There were at that
time in Cincinnati two or threejconnoisseurs
in art, who assumed sort Of general censor
ship in such matters, and everything that
they said concerning works of art was sup
posed to go" They had unfavorably crli-
cised some of Powers work, and, as he did
not take much stock in their dictations any
way, he decided TO show them up to the art
people of the city. He was working in some
wax, and announced reception at which he
would show some of the products of his
genius. Among the figures was one repre-
senting the mayor of the city. II stood in q
niche by itself, with the light arranged for the
best effect.
The high muck -amucks of the art world
of Cincinnati attended the reception. They
examined the figure of the mayor and made
comments on it. 1.-THE hands, remarked one,
"do not reveal any anatomy" "The legs are
trifle short" said another, "but otherwise |
consider it n very fine figure" And SO they
went on. One ofthem finally discovered that
something was wrong about the bridge of
the nose, and raised his hand TO point out the
defect. D. you, don't you pinch my
nose" cried the alleged wax "fgger," to their
establishment, dismay and complete over
throw as art critics The sculptor had in-
duced the real live mayor TO help him in his
little scheme st Paul Press
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
VARIETIES.

The man in South Carolina who is entire
ly toeless may be called notorious charac-
ter.
If any one tells you that such one has
spoken i'll ofyou, do not refute him in that
particular, but answer, Had he known all
my faults, he would not have spoken only of
that one"
Two little Mobile boys were fishing
from wharf the other day, when enc of
them fell into the water. The other rushed
up to deck hand, exclaiming: "Save him,
mister He's got de bateT
MIR. Fickle-"Do you know, Miss Sweet,
you looked charming at the ball the other
night?" Miss Swect-"Nonsense don't
believe It," Mr.. Fickle-"Oh, but you did.
Actually, didn't recognize you at first"
The pronunciation of some fashionable
Anglomanac clergyman is getting to be
very much like that of the English clergy
man who, in reading the passage, HE tnat
hath ears to hear, let him here, "gfves 1t.
ale that hath yahs to yah, let him YAH"
I'm afraid you'll be late at the party"
said an old lady to her stylish grand-daugh-
ter, who replied, "Oh, you dear grandma,
don't you know that in our fashionable set
nobody ever goes to a party till everybody
gets there?'
-"How did you like the reading P" asked
a gentleman of an old lady who lhad attended
an entertainment given by noted elocution-
ist. "Oh ever so much / thought that
piece about Cesar crossing the Rubcorn
was splendid, and 80 was that one about the
One Hoss Shay l always did like Shake
speare."
"A tipsy man got into tramway car in
Glasgow and became very troublesome to
the other passengers, but a kind-hearted
minister soothed him into good behavior.
On leaving the car, after scowling on the
Others, he shook hands warmly with the
minister and said: "Good-day, my friend
see you ken what it is TO be drunkp'
Not long ago in public school exami-
nation, an eccentric examiner demanded,
"What views would King Alfred take of
universal suffrage, the CONSUMPTION and prin-
ted books, if he were living now?" The inge-
NOUS pupil wrote in answer, "If King AL
fred were still alive, he would be too old to
take any interest in anything"
-Friend-"Allow me to congratulate you.
l hear that your daughter has married
foreign nobleman. Mr.. Goldbug-"Yes; it's
pretty tough on me, but by streak of good
luck her sister has eoped with a steady
street car driver, so the affiiction is somewhat
mitigated. This is world of compensation,
and can't expect all my girls to do as well
as the one who married the street-car driv-
err"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
Making Fun.

Once when travelling in stage coach
met young lady who seemed to be upon the
constant lookout for something laughable
and not content with laughing herself, took
great pains to make others do the same.
Now, travelling in stage coach is rather
prosy business. People in that situation are
apt to show themselves peevish and selfish
go the young lady's good humor was, for q
time very agreeable to the travellers. Every
old barn was made the subject of a passing
joke, while the cows and hens looked de.
murely on, little dreaming that folks could
be merry at their expense. Animals are moi
sensitive in that respect. They are not like
ly to have their feelings injured because peo.
pie make fun of them; but when we come to
human beings that is quite another thing
So it seemed to me; for after awhile an ole
woman came running across the fields swing
ging her bag at the coachman, and in shril
voice begging him to stop.
The good-natured coachman drew up his
horses and the old lady, coming TO the fence
by the roadside, squeezed herself through two
bars, which were not only in horizona
position, but very near together. The young
lady in the stage coach made some ludicrous
remark, and the passengers laughed. 1t seem
ed very excusable, for in getting through the
fence the poor woman had made sad work
with her old black bonnet, and now, taking
seat beside well-dressed lady, really look
ed as if she had been blown there by whrl
wind. This was a new piece of fun, and the
girl made the most of it. She caricatureC
the old lady upon a card; pretended, wher
she was not looking, to take patterns of hel
bonnet, and in various other ways tried tc
raise n laugh. At length the poor woman
turned pale face toward her.
"My DEAR" said she, "you are young,
healthy and happy; have been 80, too, bu
that time has passed am now decrepit and
forlorn. This coach is taking me to the
deathbed of my child. And then, my dear,
shall be poor old woman, all alone in the
world where merry girls think me very
amusing object. They will laugh at my old
fashioned clothes and odd appearance, for
getting that the old woman has spirit thai
has loved and suffered and will live forever.
The coach now stopped before poor look
ing house, and the old lady feebly descended
the steps.
"How is she ?" was the first trembling in
quiry of the poor mother
"Just alive" said the man who was lead
ing her into the house.
Putting up the steps, the driver mounted
his box, and we were upon the road again
Our merry young friend had placed her card
in her pocket. She was leaning her heaC
upon her hand; and you may be assured
was not sorry to see tear upon her fail
young cheek. 1t was good lesson, and ont
which hoped would do her good.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08

and she could not help thinking that if she
could only see him before anybody else told
him about the mystery in the best bedroom
he might believe her. Uncle George always
walked across the fields from the railroad
station, and, without telling any one, Susy
went to meet him.
"Well, little one. What, come all alone
to meet me? But what's the matter?"
They were getting out of hearing of the
other people by the time Uncle George asked
this, and, as well as she could between her
sobs, Susy told bin her story.
"They all think | did it, Uncle George be-
cause l told lie before. But didn't, Uncle
George, didn't. And won't people ever
believe me again all my life? Oh, Uncle
George, you'll believe me- won't your"
Yes, will, " he said, taking her hand in
a firm clasp which gave Susy great comfort.
81 don't think there is any need of holding
on so long to an old wrong. Well see what
can be done about it, dear"
OF course he had not been long at home
before lie heard the story of the broken look
ing-glass. Lets take look at it," he said,
and they all went up with him. Susy, too,
unable to imagine how Uncle George could
help her out of her trouble, but feeling quite
sure that if anything could be done he was
the one to do it.
There was the queer, round hole with
the cracks running out from il.
There tits" said Aunt Hester. Looks
exactly as if something had hit it or some.
thing been thrown at it. | don't say for a
moment that any one could have done it on
purpose Accidents will happen, and If &C.
cidents are told of at once Of course they'd be
forgiven, if only the truth was told.
Susy shrank behind grandma to escape
Aunt Hesters glance, as Uncle George tip
ped the glass as far over as he could in order
to look at the back oft.
Couldn't have been done without hands,
you know" continued Aunt Hester.
Il don't know about that" said Uncle
George, beginning very deliberately to turn
the screws which held up the glass. In halt
minute he had taken it down and was care
fully examining the thin board which cover
ed its back
Il think this is one of the things which
are done without hands The looking glass
has broken itself, Susy"
"See here" he said, pointing to thin
place in the board. "The unusual dampness
of the season has warped this so as to bring
a pressure upon the glass which has broken
it. 1t is a thing which rarely happens, be-
lieVe, and would not have happened now If
the room had not been kept 30 closely shut "
"Then the darling did not do it." said grand
ma, taking Susy in her arms.
"Tm glad as can be, Susy," said Aunt
Hester, and Susy knew she really was.
"What can we do to pay you for having
made you suffer for what you did not do"
Susy was so glad her little self that she
thought she was going to laugh, but she cried
instead.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
Fight With a Wildcat.

James Maddrah, of Ansonia, Conn.,, heard
great racket in his saw mill early one
morning recently. He arose and went out
expecting TO find fox chasing his chickens,
which are kept in house adjoining the mill,
but found an immense wildcat. AS he en-
tered the cat sprang at him. He had no
weapon and did not dare to turn to flee. He
grappled with the animal aud, being a very
strong man, he caught it by the neck with
one hand and clutched the fore paws of the
chokcd it into insensibilty. Then he flung
it to the ground and beat its brains out. His
clothes were ripped open from his shoulders
down, his neck was frghtfully lacerated, and
his shoulders and arms were torn by the
sharp claws of the Infatuated and hungry
animal.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
His Honeymoon.

The following rather singular method of
enjoying honeymoon may commend itself
to impecunious bridegrooms if it does not to
their brides. The colored female cook ola
family living in Boston came up stairs one
afternoon, and twisting the corners of her
apron with some embarrassment, said to her
mistress
"Yo' see, Missus, fought it mout be bes'
10 tell you dat dat done got married las
week."
"Ah And what is your name now,
ChloeS"
"Mis' William, ma'um. Yo' see, my hus-
ban he am a cook, too. He am shelf in a
hotel"
"a chef, eh? That's very nice; and you
expect to leave us directlyY"
mot d'reck'ly, mum. I'm gwine to stay q
little while, mum. You see my husban' he's
done gone 10 New York n Washing ON his
honeymoon, an it II be nigh onto six weeks
beiO' he gifts back
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
Could Not See The Eiffel Tower.

A country cousin on reaching home after a
week at Paris was questioned whether he had
seen the Eitfel Tower. "Well," he replied,
II went to see it, but there was SO much
scafolding round it that nothing of the tow
or itself was visible, but liked the look of
the scaffolding," never dreaming that he had
been looking at the actual tower all the time.
The tower, such as 1t is at present, is really
more like an enormous scaffolding round
some air castle than anything else. Accord
ing to the Revue Scientifque 1t has now reach.
ed height of 800 meters-that is to say, it is
already 90 meters higher than the Washing
ton obelsk which hitherto has been the high.
est monument in the world.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
The MarechaI Mel R0ie.

The origin of the name of the Marechal
Mel rose is thus described: In the Italian
war between France and Austria the late
Marshal Mel, then general, was one of its
heroes On the march home an Italian pea
SAINT made him present of basket of roses
In it was bud with root attached to the
stem. Neil kept this until he arrived in
Paris, when he gave it TO a noted foricultu-
turist, who obtained from it four of the love.
Hest lemon-tinted roses the world had ever
seen. Mel carried them to tn, Empress Eu-
genie, who said to him with meaning
smile II will christen this rose for you
the Marechal Mel" AS she finished she
handed him, set in diamonds, his baton as
marshal of France. This is romance and it
is also simple truth. Marechal Mel Is tie
French word for marshal
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
Paying for Privileges

Bishop futile, describing his experience in
some churches in Holland, says "While the
sermon was being preached, the contribution
bag, and long poles, came around to us, and
before it was ended they came around second
time. Then when we withdrew we were ex-
pected to pay somewhat for the seats we
had occupied. Three contributions at one
service Why, one is hardship TO some
American congregations. 1t was explained
to us at Amsterdam that the first Offering was
for the church, the second for the poor, and
the third was due from US because we had
occupied specially good seats"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
Chain-Charities.

There is a custom now in vogue Of OBJ.
tanning money for charitable purposes by
starting an appeal and causing it to pass
through many hands, demanding small sums
as it goes.
81 shan't do anything of the sort" replied
lady who was asked to enter one Of these
"chain-charities." ~ don't like the system,
and don't intend to be identified with It,"
"Then we can't count on you" saba more
Jealous acquaintance.
mo. object decidedly to belonging to
the chain-gang. perfer, instead, the OPP
probrium Of being called the missing link
Youths Companion.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
A DOmesticated Quail,

Herbert Smith, Of Bridgeport, Conn, has
quail that flew in through his window
about year ago, and which he has tanned
80 successfully that it eats from his hand and
seems entirely domesticated. 1t is left at
liberty In the house, where it is very apt to sit
in the lap of some one of the family, and,
when taken out of doors, never tries to es-
cape. Gases of such complete domestication
of full grown quail are believed to be very
rare.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
2nrtiral.
THE SHIPMAN'S TALE.

Listen. my masters! l speak naught but truth.
From dawn 10 dawn they drifted on and on,
Not knowing whittier nor to what dark end.
Now the North froze them, now the hot South
scorched.
Some called to God, and found great comfort so
Some CRASHED their teeth with curses, and some
laughed
An empty laughter, seeing they yet lived.
SO sweet was breath between their foolish lips.
Day after day the same relentless sun,
Night after night the same IMPLYING stars
At intervals fierce lightuinRs tore the clouds,
Showing vast hollow spaces and the sleet
Kissed. and the torrents of the sky were oosed,
From time to time hand relaxed its grip,
And some pale wretch slid down into the dark
With stited moan, and transient horror seized
The rest who waited, knowing what must be.
AT every turn strange shapes reached up and
The whirling wreck. held on awhile, andtheu
Slipt back into that blackness whence they came.
All hapless folk, to be so tost and torn,
SO racked by hunger, fever, fire, and wave,
And swept at last into the nameess void
Frail girls, strong men, and mothers with their
babes!
And were none saved?
My masters. not soul!
Oh shipman, woful, woful is thy talel
Our hearts are heavy and our eyes are dimmed.
What ship Is this that suffered such i'll fate?
What ship; my master? Know ye not?-The
= Thomas Bailey Aidrich, in Harper'S Magazine
for March.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08

MONUMENTAL PLATING WORKS, los
WI Hanover St., Baltimore. invite the special
attention of housekeepers and Others for repair
ing REPEATING and furnishing in the most thor.
ough and skiliful manner Table Ware of tall
kinds, Chandeliers, Clocks, Statuary. Lamps,
Andirons and Tenders, Musical Instruments,
Watches, Chains, Jewelry, Stove Trimmings,
Soda Fountains. sc. Gold, Silver. Nickel, Brass
and Copper Plating, Browning, Oxidizing and
Antique Work. Trial order solicited. W. F.
Focke Proprietor. 4janly
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
SALE.
DUBLIC SALE.

PUBLIC SALE.
The undersigned, intending to quit farming,
will sell at Public Sale, at his residence on the
Snake Lane road, about one mile from Calvary
Postoffce,
ON WEDNESDAY. MARCH goth, 1889,
At 10 o'clock, A. NJ, the following
VALUABLE STOCK AND FARMING I'M
PIGMENTS:
Three good Work or Driving Horses, 2 good
young Cows, with calf by thoroughbred Jersey
spring Express Wagon. Horse Cart and Harness,
lNo-Top Buggy. side-bar Buggy. nearly new ;
! Hay Carriage, with Can Rack Attached, sets
rage Harness, 8 Fly Nets. Brides Collars, Hal
tiers, Riding Bride and Saddle, Corn Shelter,
/ Grain Fan. Double and Single Trees Blocks
and Rope large Canvass; 70 Ho! Bed sash No.
vator, with Hill Making Attachment, Bird
Flows, Harrow, Corn Marker, Roller, Now
ing Scythe. Grain Cradle, Grindstone, half inter
Springs, will carry 1000 lbs. lot Of Bone, Grain
Hays, Shovels, Hoes, Forks, Mattocks, good Cross
Cut Saw, Maui and Wedges, Cutting Box, lot Of
Lumber and many articles not mentioned.
CANNING HOUSE OUTFIT,
consisting of "a inch Process Kettles, Scaliing
Kettles, 8 Scalding Baskets. Picking Baskets.
dozen Buckets-Peeling and Packing Tables, 10
Crates, Crane and Rope, 2 Vises, Tipping and
Gaping Machines, Hulls two burner Gasoline
Machines, forging Hammer and Anvil, 100 Toma.
to Boxes, Benches, Trays, Brushes, &c.
EBThe above articles have been used only one
season.
TERMS OF SALE.-All sums of $40 and under
Cash ; on sums over that amount credit of nine
months will be given, on notes bearing interest
Gay OF sale with SS 6y @
Bank of Bel Air. ID. W. MICHAEL.
J. 8. Richardson, Auctioneer. 22feb'
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
J. THOMAS c. HOPKINS, Solicitor.
ORDER NISI.

ORDER NISI.
Clemence +. Weber, In tho
Administrator, Circuit Court
We. for
Harriet Buchanan, Hartford county.
ct al. In Chancery.
ORDERED, this 10Th day OF February, 1899,
" that the sale made and reported by j. II. G,
Hopkins, trustee for the sale of tho real estate
mentioned in the above entitled cause, be rati.
fed and confirmed, unless cause to the contrary
thereof be shown on or before the Both day OF
March next; provided copy Of this order be in
serted in some newspaper printed and published
in Hartford county once In each of three success
I've weeks before the said goth day of March next
The report states the amount OF sale to be $500
True Copy, Test.
22feb A. L, JARRETT Clerk
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
The Egis & Intelligencer
IS PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY BY
f. w B A X Il Rs
rerms-si.oo a Year, In Advance

, TRANSIENT ADVERTISING NTs.--One Square
Insertions or less 81 so. Each subsequent in critic
% cents Longer advertisements in the same pro
portion. A space equal TO six lines max square
Figure-work double price.
Obituaries and Personal Communications will
beinserted at ten cents per Incl
20 Yearly advertisemept tat special rates.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08
TO TAXPAYERS,

hereby give notice 10 all persons in arrears
for State and County Taxes for the years 1885 and
1886 due David l.. Tucker. Collector of the Third
District of Hartford county. that the same have
been placed in my hands for immediate collec-
ton. Prompt payment will be required.
OHIO s. LEE,
22feb Attorney at Law, Bel Air. Nd.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-03-08

tanning
Al ACRES, MORE OR LESS,
and being the same and all that tract of land
which is particularly described In a mortgage
from G. A. Rutledge to w. Boyd Bell and s. A.
Williams dated May 2lst, 1885, and recorded
among the Land Records of said county in Liber
A. L. j.. No. 55, folio 345.
The improvements consist of comfortable
DWELLING HOUSE. Stabling and other out
buildings, and will be sold subject to said mort
gage of W. Boyd Bell and s. A. Williams of
S3,6OO. Said mortgage being secured by other
mortgages assigned as collateral TO secure the
same, of about the same amount
TERMS OF SALE.
| One-third Cash one-third in six and the bal
ance in twelve months credit payments to be
secured by notes Of purchaser, bearing interest
| from day Of SALE and security approved by trus-
| tee
15feb PHI. RUTLEDG e, Trustee.