Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1889-05-09
TIMETABLE VACATIONS.
A Cheap and Very Satisfactory
Way Of Seeing the World.
Some Points from SR Man Who Believes
That the Pleasures of Anticipation Are
Greater Than Those of ofParticipation
Joys of the Mental Tourist.

ana QeHRnulul way OF gettlng round about
this little world of ours, that those who
have never indulged in one have missed a
great deal of Inexpensive pleasure.
l have knocked about quite bit in my
time and have seen several places besides
Detroit, yet those actual journeys are moth
ing to my time table trips.
For instance, the first part of this win
ter thought would like to go down to the
City of Mexico. l at once went to pas
senger ticket Office in Detroit and began to
make inquiries and load up with time
tables. One of the great advantages of
living in America is that you get your time
tables for nothing Now, in England they
make you pay penny for even the smallest
timetable of a railway. 1t is true that
some of the larger railways give you quite
a book for the money. You get all particu-
lars of how much it will cost to ship a
horse from one part Of the country to
another; what the tariff on dogs is; what
the rules and regulations of the company
happen to be: what the law is if you sass a
station-master, and what various things
you will be fined forty shillings for, but all
this knowledge is useless to the ordinary
man. He prefers to have his penny.
The railroads of America, on the other
hand, flood the country with timetables as
free as the waters of the Detroit river
that is, unless you get the water through
the pipes of the Water Board.
The men in the Detroit ticket offices are
beginning to know me pretty well by this
time, and they do not rush away from a cash
customer in order to attend to my wants.
They know that ! am a person who asks a
great many questions, but who seldom
buys ticket. l think they believe that
lx,,t,, ,,,ta
are honorable For the time being really
believe tn at am going to all those places
that inquire about. Take the brief course
of the City of Mexico fever, for instance.
got the time. tables of the Wabash railroad
to st Louis; then the Iron Mountain road
to the borders of Mexico and the Mexican
Central railroad through to the City of Mex
ico Then got another time table by way
of Cincinnati; then the Queen & Crescent
route to New Orleans, then the Southern
Pacific and so on to Mexico. After that /
found that could go to Galveston and take
a steamer there to Vera Cruz and go over
the New Mexican National road tc the capi-
ital Or ! could go on TO San Antonio by
rail and down that way to the National road
then set to work to compare the dlf
ferent advantages of the different
routes. had great di fficulty in making upI
my mind which would take or whether
would go one way and come back the other.
There were the delights of visiting the
ancient and historical city of New Orleans
Galveston had many attractions, and at San
Antonio could see the ruins of the Alamo.
How did revel in all those places l got
books about them and posted up. Then l
read all could lay my hands on regarding
Mexico and what was to be seen there. /
ho,, fof
the big mountain and learned that the
guides expected five dollars day and
thought they would be disappointed in their
when they struck the under
signed. got many points on what the cost
of living would be and figured up how much |
time could spend on the trip.
After that did what most people of |
sensible nature would have done at the first.
/ figured up the cost.
/, Then gave up the trip.
: l don't expect that the aforementioned
sensible persons will enter into my enthu
siasm on the timetable trip business, but
then thoroughly sensible people miss lot OF
fun in this world. Anyhow, they don't amass
as many time tables as l do.
Although, as / said before, they charge
for their timetables in Europe, there are
many advantages there in the way of TAX
ing q time,ta trip that are not to be had
in Amerca For q shilling or two man
can get book containing every timetable
in Europe. Then by further expenditure
Of cash he gets, one by one, the valuable
guide COOKS of every country there. neat
and compact and with red cover. All this
makes a timetable vacation easier and
more instructive in Europe than in Amer
lea. There is another great advantage
there for the mythical tourist. The rail
way time books and guide books in Eu-
rope are made for the people; in America
they are made for the railroad comra
mes. For instance, you can't get the rates
Of fare in an American timetable
or railroad guide. never could un-
why it is that the railroads
ceal their fares from the people. Brad
shaw's very complete book gives every
fare in Britain, and costs only Sd.
Appleton's railroad guide gives no fare at
all, and imagine does not give map un-
less the railroad pays for it, l wanted to
find out about the steamers OF large
steamship line on my trip TO Mexico. There
was no mention of the line in Appleton's, SO
suppose that line refuses to advertise and
30 the traveller gets left. Baedecker's guide
book gives the names of almost every hotel
in Europe and tells honestly whether it is
good or bad 1t gives the prices by the
meal or by the day. The guide book will ac-
cept no advertisement of any kind at any
price 1t is book made for the people and
it can be depended on.
There is nothing of that kind in America.
. However. to the mental tourist all this
makes no difference. 1t is as cheap TO stop,
81 in your mind" at first-class hotel as at
? poor one. q -sss
The philosopher says that the pleasures OF
are greater than those OF par
ncipaton. Ii that is the case commend
my plan OF travelling. A timetable tourist
has all the fun and has no bills TO pay.
A Dog That Was n Joker.