Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1889-12-07
Varieties.

there may be nothing in it-but it
eases our jolts wonderfully.
Guard-"If you want to smoke in
this carriage you must either get out
or throw away your cigar"
1t is plain that doctors ought to sue
coed in politics when one reflects that
they are professional healers
Women, like disease, always search
out our weakest points for an attack;
and they generally find them
There are two classes who do not
bear prosperity-one of them being
those who do not get chance to bear
It,
The world may owe you living,
young man, but the account cannot be
turned over to an attorney for collec-
| ton.
With an iron constitution, steel
nerves, brass cheeks and silver tom
que, man can line his pockets with
gold.
Undue praise is the poison of human
souls he that would live healthily, let
him learn to go along entirely without
praise.
When dog growls over his food
you may know that lie likes. When
a man growls over his you may know
he doesn't.
Carper-"So you've been trying the
faith cure ?" Harper-"Yes." Car.
per-"Cure your" Harper-"Yes-
of my faith"
When Boston girl has occasion to
make use of a well-known proverb she
says "sheolis macadamized with excel
lent purposes"
1t is not so much the length or the
variety Of our opportunities as the way
in which we use them, that will decide
how much they will benefit us.
A cheerful way of talking will soon
chase away gloomy feelings in our own
minds, and we all know how inspiring
to us are such words from another.
You can't marry a widow in Portu-
gal if she is over fifty years Of age.
Should you desire mature relict Of
that time of life, you have got to i'm
Portugal.
Minks-"Were you away last Sum-
mer?" Winks-"Yes, off about
month at a summer resort. "How
did you spend the time ?" waiting
for it to stop raining"
Marriage is not failure. A man
who has a wife to cheer him up and be
proud of his feats will try harder and
succeed oftener than lonely fellow
who has to sew on his own buttons.
81 can't understand all this fuss
about using electricity for executions"
remarked Judge Lynch, of Kansas,
refectively. "Out in our section we
have used the telegraph pole for years"
Mamma-"Howard, are you going
to take part in the tree planting at
school on Arbor Day?" Howard, Gem
phatically)-"No, l am not, there's
huff switches CROWN around our
school now"
There is burden of care in getting
riches-fear in keeping them, tempta-
ton in using them, guilt in abusing
them, sorrow in losing them, and a
burden of account at last to be given
up concerning them.
There are moments in life when we
sigh for peace; when the heart is
wearied with life's excitements and
would be at rest when there is no
pleasant sound in the merry laugh, and
smiling lips reflects no pleasure.
The man who was about to marry
for the sixth time, and who replied
"We've usually sot," when asked by
the minister to stand up, has been
heard from again. He recently led
No. 7 to the altar, and when asked for
the ring, replied "Parson, I've
hooked onto six of 'em without ring,
and reckon we kin git along this
time. I'll try to remember it in the
future, though"
eyes," said Mrs. Goodington, sadly,
che was indulging in sequestering ex-
ercise His horse got frightened at
something or other, and reciprocated
him to the sidewalk. When they took
him up they found a bad fractions in
his leg, and it had to be computated to
save his life" And the old lady didn't
say another word for at least fifteen
minutes. She was thinking, as she
afterward said, of the dreadful sights
in the confrmatory."
People who find it embarrassing to
perform the necessary duty Of intro
ducing folks may find the following
incident interesting and the mode
worthy of imitation. Three darkies
met en- route for church, and one of
> them, in the suavity Of self importance
/ in her extended acquaintance, said to
5 her friends: "Mr Thompson, Mr., Bell,