Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-08-06
BACK TO THE FOOTHILLS.
RETURNING FROM BERMUDA WITH A
LITTLE HOPE IN A BOX.
The Man from the Foothills Was . Little
Disappointed by His Trip. but Thinks
He May Be Able to Conquer tho Gang

wee"
Tn back from Bermudy ag'in, said the man
from the foothills. You must mind my tell
ing you, a month or SO ago, that was bound
for Bermudy, don't youi Course you must
was just in from the foothills Of the Sierras.
you know, and told you was homesick for
Bermudy. Why's You mind why, don't youf
amt afraid to bet You dol Scorpions was
why had been used to scorpions, you know,
and they didn't have any out there among
the foothills Had tarantulieS Had tarantu-
lies till you couldn't see. And rattlesnakes
You mind told you bout the tarantulies and
the rattlesnakes. Certainly you do. But
they wasn't enough to drive angwee away,
even with Injins to help 'em, and got to
pinin' for somethin'.
Pined and pinned, and couldn't count for it.
You must mind how told you that pinned
and pinned. It's funny if you don't Then it
busted out on me all Of sudden that what
allied me was scorpions Sure Nothing else
in the world but scorpions, and that I'd been
gulpin' bitters TOR dyspepsy by the gallon,
and rattlin' pills into me for my liver, seven
at rattle and three rattles dayl And all
that allied me was scorpions! Homesick fer
'em. So turned my heels and struck for
Bermudy, where I used to hive, and where
there was scorpions as well as tarantulies to
cheer fellow up. Well, I've been to Ber-
muddy.
A SCORPION DISAPPOINTED MAN.
But I'm back ag'in. Disappointed You've
ofA> been disappointed, hain't youi Course
you have. A man that says he hain't been
disappointed it's safe to call liar. Providin'
he hain't too big. Some men may be liars
and not know 1t, and yit it wouldn't be safe
for you to break the news to 'en. Don't you
know it wouldn'ta Hope so. II you don't
know it things may go hard with you some
time, unless you're pretty handy on the scrap
yourself. You've been disappointed, Of
course. But you hain't never been disap-
pointed In scorpions Few people has. I'm
one Of 'em l went to Bermundy with anti
cipations roster than song and dance girls
cheeks. l came back from Bermundy with
the rosy all bleached out Of 'em. Pm SCOT
pion-disappointed man. If you had pinned for
'em like pined you'd know what that means
But you don't know, do youi Bet the drinks
you don'tI
was rosy, I'm tellin' you, when I sighted
Bermudy ag'nl Couldn't hardly wait to git
ashore. l could almost see what was pinin'
for. l could hear their toes rattlin' over the
sand, an scratchin' along the Collins and up
the walls could shut my eyes and see 'em
crawlin' out O my shoes when ! woke up in
the mornins, and sportin over my stockin's
and poppin' in and out o my pants legs as
they laid on the floor. ] was cheerin' up al
ready. But what did find when landed
on Bermudy3 You can't guess. Bet you
anything you can'tl Why, they didn't let
scorpions come out and hustle around and
cheer folks any morel People that couldn't
appreciate 'em had got to loafn' round Ber-
muddy, and they objected to scorpionsl So
folks had took to discourasin' 'em. Why,
they'd even fell to KILN en- Actually KILN
scorpionsl After all my pinin' and pinin' I'd
gone all the way to Bermudy to ketch angwee
worse than everl 1t was tough
roamed around hopin' to git little cheer
out of the scraInblin' and scratchin' and tbs
peggin' away at one another of a few scor-
pions on the sly. But somebody was always
around with club. Bifl was all the en-
couragement a scorpion got when it showed
itself May be you might have heered lately
that there's generally a scorpion or two
waltzes out of nearly every bunch o. bananas
ye had. Everybodys heerd that Scorpions
Why soi Bet you can't tell Course you
can't They're emigratin'. They're sneakin'
away from Bermudy. They can't stand
bein' prosecuted They're leavin' the land O.
their birth and strikin' out for liberty or
death. You'll be gettin' them right along
now. You didn't use to git anything but
tarantulies. But you'll be gettin' scorpions
right along now. But they won't be en-
rnl kaxo ,,I& III
stay home.
HIS FUTURE PROSPECTS.
So you see l couldn't stand it in Bermudy
1t was breakin' my heart. I'm back ag'in.
I'm bound fer tho foothills once more. But
I hain't goin' alone. Bet yer life hain't
I've got little box full O. hope, and I'm
takin' that with me- Here's the box The
hope is inside Of it It is fifty clipper and
sassy scorpions, right from Bermudy Them
holes is fer 'em to breathe through. Each one
has section all to himself If he hadn't,
there is so much cheerfulness slowed away In
each one lem that they couldn't hold them
selves, and they'd chew one another up. Shall
raise the kiver and let We have look at
'eml Mol Don't like 'em, heyi Some folks
don't. I'll bet you'd even kill a scorpion
now, If you'd meet onel Darned il / kin see
what some folks is made OIL
But I'm takin' this little box full o. hops
with me back TO the foothills I'm goin' te
turn it loose out there Idont know whethes
it'll take to the adobe grounds or not. Can't
tell. But if you should drop out that way In
the course OF a couple years or so, hunt me up
II you find me wearin' wide br1mmed wf1i.A
hat, with bangles on IT, two pistols and
knife In my belt, and clangin' around with
six inch spurs on, consider that this little bon
o. hope has took root In the foothills and
sprouted, and Is founsllin' like a green bay
boss Consider that any one has been Knocked
30 fur from the foothills TN never hear Ga
briel blow But If you rud ag'in me settin
on a rock, wearin' q yaller straw hat with nc
rim to 1t, and sportin' no gun and no boot
70 fasten g spur to, and e1nokin' sage brush
leaves IN 9 corncob pipe, consider that tbs
soil of the adobe framed foothills wasn't rich
enough for that little hope O. mine 10 git
holt in You kin consider that anzwee has
got me hardsr than ever, and that I'm a-pinfni
a hopeless pine, even while the tarausuis
and the rattlers and the mi rs IL dom their
best to make things look cheerin'.-Ssw Yori
Sun
How Appearances Deceive
A portly citizen left Woodward avenue
car at High street between showers yester"
d. 49, ,ras hardly IN The ejiezafk t.sfo-s