Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-11-22
Bill Nye on Etiquette.

ring at night, while others hang them
on the seed-corn or dried-apple dra-
perry of the room. Pillow-shams go
very far towards sweetening the home
atmosphere and beautifying the
home nest. Show Inc where they
have no pillow-shams and ! will show
you desolate house. Show me
where there are no pillow-shams and
| will show you no picture of George
Washington in the act of crossing
the Delaware. Show me a pillow
STAINLESS home and | will show you
a home where there is no cCnch shell
on the bureau, no dried grass or ever
lasting flowers on the center table,
no four-o clocks in the front yard or
tansy in the back yard, no soft
voiced guinea-hens in the barn lot or
lowborn bleating calf in the stable.
In drinking wine at the table you
should not drain the glass at once,
or exclaim as you take it up: well,
here we go.' or after emptying your
glass, look anxiously for your check
or ask the waiter ito make 1t the
same again for all hands, This is
coarse, and smacks of the common
herd. Watch your host and keep
your wine lowered to about the same
notch az his. Then you will be all
right. That is the way they do in
Paris. If you are afraid to trust your
self to drink any more wine while
your host continues to daily with the
sparkling, you may ask for Vichy
water, which find is good drink to
stick to, especially for those whose
minds cannot successfully grapple
with other beverages. Do not hang
your eyes out on your cheeks while
drinking wine or drink too fast and
get it up your nose.
If you drink coffee after your din
ner do not, if you desire more than
one cup, pound on your saucer with
the spoon or look around and ex-
claim "hi." Be gentle and ladylike
in your demeanor, telling some fresh
little anecdote to the guests while
you eat saucerful of olives or pin
fresh sprig of celery on your coat.
When you get anything hot in your
mouth do not get mad and swear, for
the other guests will only laugh at
you, but take it out carefully and ask
the hired girl to put it on ice little
while for you or make some bright
remark in French or English as the
mood may strike you. In London l
notice also that it is no longer de trop
or Sdchet for a guest at table to re
move his teeth when he gets black
berry seed under the upper plate.
Only in extreme cases is it allowable
for privileged guests, for instance,
who get olive seeds or oyster shells
under the plate Of their artificial
teeth, to remove them without being
excused from table. This custom also
obtains in Paris, where they are even
more finicky than at the courts of
Europe, it seemed to me.
1t isnow considered perfectly proper
to take the last of anything on the
plate, for it is presumed that there is
more down cellar, or if not the host
can put on his hat and go down town
for another supply.
Much laughter may be produced
and general good feeling engendered
by little sallies and jokes taken from
a joke book. l have an English book
of jests which has helped me to pay
for many a meal Some of these
jokes are real good. The best En-
glish jokes have seen were made in
Philadelphia. Here is a neat little
one, which you could use after some
one has first played a piece on the
piano or violin
"A vain but Indifferent performer
having amused company with sew
eral sonatas, observed that they were
very difficult. Difficult his friend
replied, L wish that they had been
impossible. ,"
Here is a good one to use when you
visit Paris, in order to show that you
are familiar with French history:
IAN aged but bright French actress
was once cast for a rather young part
and SO had to spruce up. Among
other things she got a new and beau
tiful set of teeth at the swell dentists.
But they hurt her mouth exceedingly
during the play, and after the last act
she hurried to her dressing room and
hastily took them out. She put them
in her pocket, and forgetting about
the teeth impulsively sat down on the
pocket containing them. With a
wild yell and French oath she
bounded into the air.
"'What is the natter a friend
asked her.
"'Oh, nothing, monsieur, | only bit
myself"
No, do not approve of the custom
of hiding a hunk of bread in a rolled
up napkin for the guest to jerk loose
over the floor. When the custom of
feeding people with canton flannel
cakes at breakfast on the first day of
April is abandoned this reprehensible
practice also will cease.
You may eat radishes with the
shuck on. Pounded glass will also be
furnished if you speak about it in
time. Do not swallow the seeds Of
apricots or peaches. Take them home
and plant them. Do the same with
watermelon seeds. When cigars are