Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-03-07
ABILENE REFLECTOR
ACKNOWLEDGING FAULTS.
The Best Way of Disarming Resentmen
and Calming Irritafinn-

ACKNOWLEDGING FAULTS.
The Best Way of Disarming Resentment
and Calming Irritation.
There is one means of preserving
peace, harmony and goodwill in our
social relations which, although very
simple, very just and manifestly very
effective, is perhaps more frequently
Stunned and disliked than any other.
1t is the frank admission of having
been in the wrong. Nothing so quickly
disarms resentment, Gains irritation,
melts away cold displeasure, turns
anger into tenderness, and changes
a defiant attitude to one of sympathy,
as this candid confession. and yet few
words are more rarely uttered. The
simple avOwal of the truth, without ex-
cuse or palliation: Il was wrong" or
II was mistaken" or Il regret having
said or done as | dds worth a
thousand elaborate attempts at explain
alton, which are generally unbelieved,
unaccepted and give rise to argument
instead of reconciliation. The person
thus addressed undergoes an immedi-
ate change of sentiment toward him
who speaks. He no longer desires to
prove or to emphasize the error or the
offense, he rather inclines to ignore it,
to excuse it, and to question whether
he, too, may not have been equally to
blame. And the sympathy thus estab-
lished unites those in friendly concord
who might otherwise be always at en-
nifty. OF course, the primary element
in any such avOwal is its absolute
truthfulness. To utter such words for
the mere sake of Cancellation, without
feeling that they express the reality,
would react for evil, like any other
falsity. Sometimes children are re-
quired to do this, and it is always an
act OF injustice. Unless they can be
brought to feel that they have been in
the wrong they should not even be al
lowed to say so. No good can ever
come to child or man by insinceritE
But when once convinced of errOr-r
when confession to self has been made
been wronged is a debt which justice
demands, and which magnanimity viii
hasten to pay. Very often it is the only
PREPARATION that it is possible to make.
There is no hesitation as to the duty of
restoring what has been borrowed or
making good any property of or
neighbor's that we may have injured;
yet if we have hurt his feelings or in
jured his good name, or in any way
taken some drops out of his cup of hap
piness which can not be restored, is it
too much for us to confess the wrong
and to express whatever regret we
truly feel? Is there not something
mean and ungenerous. as well as I'M
just, in the spirit that refuses to make
the only possible atonement? And yet
how common is such a refusal What
is the reason that this is held to be
so hard a task? Why is it that men
and women who would scorn to evade
a monetary obligation will, time after
time, and day after day, evade the debt |
of honest confession which they owe to |
their fellow-men? Are they ashamed |
to acknowledge their faults and errors? |
Do they fear that it will lessen the re-
spect and esteem in which they are |
held? Do they fondly suppose that, if |
they do not themselves admit that they |
have been wrong, others will count |
them immaculate? On the contrary, |
they will be judged far more severely. |
Nothing so completely disarms criti-
cism as self-criticism. What is it after |
all but an avOwal that they are in bet
ter mind and in better mood than they
were before? And surely this is moth
ing to be ashamed of. but rather to re-
joice in. Otherwise, when wrong has |
been done, and nothing is said in the |
way of regret, must not the conclusion |
be formed that the offender is still in |
the same mind, and would repeat the |
offense under similar circumstances? |
Every one whose good opinion is worth |
having, so far from despising. will |
honor such acknowledgment, as proof |
of truthfulness, simplicity and an
honest desire to atone, as far as pos
sible, for all faults and errors.-Phila- |
delphia Ledger.