The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-03-28
WISE AND OTHERWISE.
Pears Soap secures fine complexion

Pears Soap secures a fine complexion.
Beecham's Pills act like magic on a
weak stomach. .L. "a.
The new waltz to be introduced the
coming season will embrace several
new figures"
80 you were at Mrs. Marrable's din
ner yesterday. What sort of menu
did they give you ?p II really can't tell
you, for | didn't take any. It's a thing
livery seldom touch, Pick Ne Up.
Mrs. Muggius (reading-"Every man
gets the wife that Heaven intended for
him." Mr.. Muggins (musingly)-"lt
must be true, then, that men are pun.
ished in this world for their sins. "--Netc
York Weekly. rtta
Young lady writing letter Ito her
muther)-"M Mamma, which is the correct
expression, "a piece Of pie or "a slice of
pie ?" Mamma-"Well, l don't know
your papa always says, Matilda, give
ME that pie =" IL. ,...t-
Actress Cooking out for some way to
advertise herself)-"Do you know any
thing extraordinary l can do to call the
public attention to me ?" Staid old per-
son-"Yes. Get married and live hap
PLY with your husband"
To be developed later-"SO your old
uncle is dead, Charlie ?" Eyes, died yes
terday." "He was a very eccentric old
fellow. Do you think he was right in
his head y ''-Well--er-I couldn't say,
you know, until the will is read. "-Life
The little girl had accompanied her
mother on Christmas shopping expe-
both
tired and hungry. They passed res
taurant. 80, mamma y she exclaimed,
there is the dinner store. Do let's go in
CURE YOURSELF.
DON'T pay large Doctors bills. The
bet medical book published, 100 pages,
elegant colored plates, will be sent You
on receipt of three 2-cent stamps to pay
postage. Address A. P. Ordway & Co,
Boston. Mass. 9t2
We have a speedy and positive cure
for Catarrh, Diphtheria, Canker Mouth
and Headache in SHILOH IS CATARRH
REMEDY. A nasal injector free with
each bottle. Use it ifyou desire health
and sweet breath. Price so cents. Sold
by j. T. Shurtleff.
For the cure of colds, coughs, and all
arrangements of the respiratory organs,
no other medicine is so reliable as Ayers
Cherry Pectoral. 1t relieves the asth
matte and consumptive, even in adj
vanced stages Of disease, and has saved
innumerable lives. fr ..
eyes, sir, he said proudly. 81 began
life as barefooted boy, and see where
| am now" Eyes, you are well up |;
but you had big advantage at the
start" Glow so z" you began life as
barefooted boy. The rest of us began
as barefooted babies"
1t is amusing to see people with their
face drawn as if they had swallowed
feather and it was tickling their lungs
and they would be happy il they could
only sneeze. Now, there is no need Of
making faces" A bottle of DIR, Bulls
Cough Syrup will draw your face back
into a smile. atf a.s
Doctor-"What, drinking beer again,
contrary TO my strict orders Didn't |
tell you that every glass was nail in
your coffin ~ II can't give it up, doctor,
that's fact, and 80 / have been saying
to myself, What does it matter when you
are dead and gone il your coffin does look
like hedgehog ? "
Why do so many people we see around
us seem to prefer to suffer and be made
miserable by Indigestion, constipation,
dizziness, loss of appetite, coming up OF
the food, yellow skin, when for 70 cents
we will sell them Shiloh's System Vital
izer, guaranteed to cure them. Sold by
j. T. Shurtleff, Bennington, Vt.
Young girl (at fortune teller's)-
''What, I'm going to marry apoor labor
er and live in shanty and have yeven-
teen children It's outrageourl My
friend Sarah had her fortune told here
and you said she was to marry prince
and live in three castles. Huh Here's
your quarter" Fortune teller with dig
nity)-"Your friend Sarah got 80 cent
fortune, Miss" W. a
VIM. Roberts, NJ. D., Physician to the
Manchester, Eng, Infirmary and Luna
| tic Hospital, Professor OF Medicine in
Ovens College, saws "Gradual failure
of strength, increased pallor or sallOw,
ness. and dsinclination for exercise q
one Of the prominent symptoms Of kid
ney disease" Warmers Safe Cure is tllt
only remedy that is guaranteed to curt
kidney disease.
Mrs. HOmespun he'd been on visit Y
the Jenkinses who lived in the city. On
returning home she was asked And
how did you find Mis- Jenkins 2" "Ohs
she replied, 'they've got nice house
and lots Of fine furniture but they're
awfully stived up. They've not got any
place out doors to hang their washing
ieastwise I suspicion they haven't, OF
they wouldn't have towels hung up Il
dry on their best chairs right in the par
lor."
| Toe mipister of country parish wal
coming along the road one day, when he
met a hall witied erofter ,swlolwas we
known in the district. What isG tii