The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-01-19
THE BOWSER FAMILY.

In the nick OF Llme. One udy ne came
home an hour ahead of time, his'coun-
tenance wearing a very important
look, and the first thing he did was to
bolt upstairs to our bedroom and lower
the window, although had just closed
it after airing the room for two hours.
He then came Gathering down to ask
me for pan.
what on earth do you want OF a
PAM" l asked.
ITO save all our lives!' he an
swered. ~....--..--.
"How?"
Your bedroom is full Of poisonous
gases, which must be absorbed by an
open vessel of water.
Nonsense"
'"I expected it. That's the weapon
of the ignorant! Mrs. Bowser, if you
want to die by poisonous gases poison
ing the blood, l have nothing to say,
but shall save the life of our child if
possible. / have felt strange lassi-
tude for several days, and a sanitary
Oned air in the ROOM"
your lassitude couldn't have come
from being out to club and lodge four
successive nights until twelve o'clock,
could it?"
He seized the pan and hurried up
stairs. and when he had filled it at the
lavatory he sat it in the middle of the
floor and came down with a relieved
look on his face. to say:
See if you don't feel better to-Inor-
row than you have for month. It's a
wonder we are not all dead"
''Did the ancients know about these
poisonous Sases?" l asked.
Not a thing. They never gave
them thought"
And yet the average Of health was
seventeen per cent. above that of to-
day. and the average Of mortality that
much lower! How do you account for
it9'
20. well, if you want to die go ahead.
I'll evon buy rope and help you to
hang yourself. L expected this, of
course, but ridicule never moves me,
Mrs. Bowser-
Two hours later he went upstairs in
his slippers 10 look for a paper in an
other coat. and of course he sat his
foot plump down in that pan of wator.
There was yell and q jump, and over
went the pan. and when got up there
he stood holding up ono leg. as you
have seen hen do on wet day.
What said on that occasion kept Mr..
Bowser quiet for Il whole week. Then
he began to grow restless again, and
one night he brought home suspic-
ious-looking package and sneaked it
upstairs. After supper he suddenly
disappeared, and when L looked for
him upstairs he had something in u
basin and was about TO hold it over d
gas-burner.
mir. Bowscr, have you got new
theory" | asked.
Look here. Mrs. Bowser." he re =
piled. as he put down tho basin, ''you
have heard of bacteria. 1 presumed"
Eyes, sir
''They arc germs of disease floating
about. They are alive. If inhaled
cholera, yellow fever and other dread
diseases are the result. Fumigation
kills them"
"And you are going to fumigate this
room!'
81 am. l am going to kill of the
dreaded bacteria"
well, you'll drive US out of the
house or kill US"
went downstairs and he burned a
compound OF tar and sulphur. In ten
minutes We had to open doors and
windows, and the cook came running
in to ASK:
lis it cremation Mr.. Bowser is try
ing on u.s.
~ am simply driving out the bac-
tcria," he replied, coming down stairs
at that moment.
"And there's bacteria in the house,"
''rm afraid So"
And I've worked here four weeks
under the noses OF the dreadful crea-
lures? Mr.. Bowser, l quits! quits
now!"
And quit she did. We had to sleep
on tho sitting-room floor last night.
and tire, weeks later every caller
could still detect that odor. 1t was
hardly gone, however. when Mr.. Bow
ser began to sniff around again.
"Any moro bacterial" asked.
MRS Bowser, if you want to sit here
and die l have no objections, but l
don't propose TO neglect common sense
precautions to preserve myown health. ("
"ls anything wrong now9"
81 think so. l think l can detect an
odor of sewer gas in the house."
Impossible! shan't have no more
stuff burned until know it is neces-
sary."
won't you? If there is sewer gas
here it must be oradicated at once"
For the next week the entire house
smelled OF chloride Of lime until one
could hardly draw a long breath. but
Mr. Bowser was not satisfied.
Il have boon thinking" he said to
rae one evening. "that may bring the
germs Of some terrible disease home in
my clothes. / ride on the car, you