St. Paul daily globe., 1889-05-26

cans 10 avail
themselves of opportunities, which, II
properly applied, relieve them OF many
of their domestic distresses. AS once
SAID by Tennyson, a gentleman often
heard of in st. Paul, "In the spring
time the young mans fancy lghtiy,
turns to thoughts ola mother-ln-laW
SO several Wisconsin pulpit orators can
quote of the same SalnbriouS season,
that the Minnesota male turns both
thoughts and steps to the garden OF ms
bliss-Hudson, a well-developed ana
very healthy town, which has oeen
identified with our. sister state since
1851, A. d.
Hudson! All, Hudson, what farm
of domestic misfits you have grown 10
be; never blooming more fairly than
the last season. and your crOp-has kept
our district Judges busy signing divorce
DEGREES. But this is nothing to the
irascible youth who, with a salary OF
S35 per month and a cOleric desire TO
compound that unit IN his career, wears
the enamel from the door bell OF MS
future enemy, and spills his appealing
breath of love and alteration all over
the old mans new rugs and straw car
pets and blindly leads budding woman
hood into an emotional enlargement,
from which she can only find relief IN
getting married. Once to this brink OF
desperation, the fair maiden and gallant
youth concOct scheme to add romance
to bliss, and at the same time fool the
old man and draw out the last iclcle OF
affection the old lady has for the daugh-
ter. The plot designed, the plan is soon
executed. and at last Harry ElOpe and
Miss Seminary are speeding out OF the
st. Paul Union depot en- route to-'Just
across the river"
Now, here is where Minnesotians,
save those that have tried the real trick,
have vague and nebulOuS idea OF such a
proceeding, and the why's and where
fores are generally discussed with much
learning by those who do not know one
word about the delightful sensation ac-
cOmpanying the quiet affair over yon-
der" The very first person who gets
the
BENEFIT OF AN ELOPEMENT,
if such it may be called, is the con-
ductor in charge of the train which
bears on the festive couple. He can
tell in an instant whether young man
and young woman are bound for Hud-
sons justice of the peace. In descrlb-
ing the symptoms attendant upon an
afflicted couple, he says they rush in
anu Cautiously IohO q ASoh oS.o AL VIZ
ear. The young lady generally rests
her elbow on the window sill and takes
a frantic clutch of her cheek, and be-
gins to think the matter over. Possibly
regret marks her demeanOr, but gener-
ally she is impatient and anxious. Her
cheeks are flushed like sports night
out, and she is always nervous
and casts an empty meaning
less gaze upon her affianced
He is altogether different, and in the
case of a fairly intelligent fellow, the
young man about to get deed for his
bundle of charms and freckles sits pale
and sickly smiling wreck. If he attempts
to cheer his companion be makes a mess
of it,and together they forgive each 9TH
er for their shortcomings. When the
conductor asks for the tickets, the
frightened young man executes several
acrobatic insinuatlonS and at length
tears the wrong end off and hands the
ticket to the Con" When the train
pulls into the Hudson depot, the afore-
said couple make a maEgled flight for
the platform and tumble into the first
alleged hack they see. "See here,
driver" says the decamper, "drive up
into the woods, want to see you Oh i'm
portant business. ''Yes, sir: yes, SIR"
and he is off in jiffy, rolling over cob
BILE stones, logs and prospects until he
reaches a secluded grove about two
blocks from the depot and a mile from
the business portion of the city-the de-
pot being at the extreme northern end
of the town.
While the horses are blowing and
grunting asthma over the road the