The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-11-15
STREETS EEPINGS.
THOUGHTS AND THEMES BY OUR
MAN-ABOUT-TOWN.
English sparrows and n Political Pest
Never Nourish Your Troubles, You
Want TO be Happy-Poiiee, Car-Drivers
md Milkmen.

sparrow.
lie can enter upon the discharge Of this
duty with clear-cut, well-defined convic-
ton that the sparrow Is nuisance.
lie il neither an octapus nor briaricus,
but he spreads out famously. and his two
wings are equal to a hundred hands in loco
motion or combat.
He is gregariOus. and at the same time
can ''play lone hand with telling effect.
As an invader. he beats the BrItish-for
whom he IS called-On account Of the reck-
less disregard Of other birds rights and the
cormorant capacity he displays.
He IL usually at home in the SHOWS OF
Canada or among the orange blossoms Of
Florida. and is built for grab game pur-
poses wherever he turns up.
This causes him 20 resemble Malone,
whom the people Of Virginia would not now
trust IN bring a letter in the dead letter
postofice.
Like does attract like. This il why Gen
eral Malone shoots British sparr0ws in his
back yard lie did not score well az a shot,
unless he aimed better than he did the
other night when he fired on Harrison from
bis front door, because Harrison was glad
that Mckinney was elected.
Malone was once a great General, but his
men did all the shooting.
That is the reason he became great.
coupled with the fact that he d. ank sweet
milk given by a cow which was kept at his
headquarters. and was afraid Of Confederate
persimmon whisky. We mean Malone, not
the COW.
Between the sparrows and Malone, Rich
mOnd prefers the former nuisance.
Some sweet-tempered man claims that
the sparrow destroys grlIbs and caterpillars.
Malone cultiyates bad-manuered Yam
KEGS and ignoJant negroes.
We would rather have the grubs. cater
pillars and sparTows, all three, than Malone
and his negroes and Yankees.
The real name of the sparrow is "hOmt
sparrow" and Malone has been elected a.
stay at home. He "projicked" with the
Travellers Protective AssOciatlOn-called
them ''peddlers" stirred up a hornets
nest. and got stung.
There are a hundred and fifty million OF
| sparrOws i'm Richmond and sharp sprink-
| ling of drlmmers. General Malone has
found out that there is a hereafter Now, q
| first Sass opportunity for fame is offered
the man who will eficctually rid us Of thu
sparrow nuisance and bring back our old
time friends, the sweet sOngsters OF Nir-
gnia.
DO NOT NOURTsH TROUBLE.
In the old time plantation days there use
to be a song often sung by the farm hands
which had chorus as follows;
"All doe you see me 60 long SO.
sees trouble here below"
Whenever the Ovcrsccr overheard one Of
the hands droning this mOurnful Law. |
noticed that his underlips was hanging
lower than usual. and that ne move AROUND |
like his legs were lied together, a sharp |
lookout would result in finding shoat or
lamb missing.
That negro gave himself away by nour-
ishing his trouble, got caught and was prop |
orly punished
Our friend John Baseler, besides being a |
most accomplished composer and musician.
knows how 10 compose himself under the
most painful circumstances. He has lately |
been visited by an acute trouble. He met il
politely. took ii home with him and extend
ed it a warm reception. In gratefulness for
such attention the trouble made him dance.
and this set him TO laughing. He took il
walking and introduced IL where ever he
went taking pains meanwhile 10 monopo-
liZeit. He even carried ii in his mouth.
IL was neuralgia.
If possible, act like John Baseler. and in
stead Of gr0anng over and nOurshng your
troubles. laugh at Them and think of the
blessings you enjoy. Trouble cannot stand
such treatment.
AT THE sTATION-HOUsE.
The deep insight Of the depths Of degrade
ton.
mis- is what the police have 10 endure.
They know all the disreputable char
acters by sight; the society Of criminals
cannot keep covered from their keen eyes
their misdeeds. The al-night drinker. the
all-arOund artful dodger, the club man, who
treads alone the deserted streets; the gay
midnight reveller, who turn up next morn
ing and fortiy themselves with brandy
cocktails 10 steady their nerves; the soied
doves of the city, all are known to the quiet
looking man who PAGES his beat and rn-
inmates on the wickcdness of worldly
things and the trouble and uncertainty Of
life.
Did YOU ever 90 as a guest OF an officer
to police station after midnight.
1t is a visit worth making.
You will find here in Richmond com
Portable reception-room. a sergeant will
be there tilted back in chair, and an
officer or two will be on hand. In the cen
tire of the room is an ample table with
hlank-book and newspapers on il, pens,
ink and paper.
Take seat and listen. You will hear
from cells outside ribald remarks from Of
tenders confined therein. Oaths, impreca-
tons Of all sorts Of horrid talk assals the
ears
The officers have been busy and pulled
a dance house, where Bacchus was more I
potent than Terpschore.
one night an old cOuntryman was brought D.
in. He had sold his crop and made poor =
investment in yllianiOus whisky. His
white umkempt beard was notified with :,
mud his eyes were red and swollen, and his \
general appearance suggestive Of his hay-
ing been blown in by blizzard. 4
The sergeant jerks his chair nearer the y
table, seizes Il pen, opens his register, ships
the ashes from the cigar he takes from his
mouth, and looks enquiringly at tie officer. y
drunk and disOrderly," says the tall fig y
lre in brass and blue. Down ii goes on the
book with bank-clerk precision, and the =,
sergeant settles himself in his chair, and y
smokes Indilerently, while the old man is v
led quietly away. '
One more victory for king alcohol, two ].
dollars and fifty cents for Richmond,
Some times IL is a murder case, sOmO- II
lines il is an unfortunate man. well-known II
n social circles, just out for lark. I
The station-hOuse sobers Them \
Sergeant A. VI. TOmlinsOn once had to Il
un in IA crazy man. He was put in cell
our, and was quiet for time. Then he ~
'egan to rave and call loudly for the 4.
ergeant, who finally went to the cell 20 l.
uiet the man. lie pushed the slide to the -
'eep-hoe back, placed his mouth at it and -.
aid, ''liere, keep quiet in their" VI
When the sergeant picked himself up VI
rom the floor, he found out that the crazy III
nan had given dentist job.
There was method in that mans mad te
css. Sergeant Tomlinson felt it, but did ~
0t like the little joke. IC
No people see more Of condensed life than
he policeman.
THE MOuRNFUL MAN.
The most m0urnful man in the world is a GU
ow-legged street-car conductor. lie has a 'Ii
ard time. lie has very little OF the spice e'li
life I'm his. If variety can be called spice -.
lie takes the same seat every day. drives ~ =
nc same Unconditional, goat-paced team. La
yer the same rafting rails, answers the -.
lme questions. turns the same nickle- w
upper. and looks up and down between the Ihi
Ime RAILS rain or shine, winter or summer. TO,
ntil like his team he breaks down from us
leer monotony. and lets the rains fall into MOI
me other poor fellows hands, who in turn .. ;
res the same fate. 20
In all probability they do more thinking 10 ou
e mile than any other set Of men i'm the :
orld. One thing is certain, if they do moi. lhe
is not for the lack Of an opportunity vel
ought not be very hard work for him To -
ave "A world so full of sin and suffering II
this. ".
lOD