The Marlboro democrat. [volume] (Bennettsville, S.C.) 1882-1908, 1889-07-19
courtesy thatone's guests should l)s ill
PRODUCED, it follows that they Should be

courtesy Sthat!one's guests should la ill
troduced, it follows that they Should he
introduced in such a way as to make 1T
easy to fall into conversation. 1t is
not necessary that the hostess should
present Mr.. Smith as sthe Australian
explorer" or Miss Brown as sthe au-
thorof that charming poem in the
Age" Such an introduction almost
necessitates n n%arsonal turn to TIC Coli
yyersatiom. and makes it decidedly awk-
ward for the other person, who may
never have heard Of the Australian OK
petition or the poem. In nothing is
the skill of the hostess SO clearly shown
as in this word with which she shoYes
the boat of new acquaintance off tho
social strand. A HUT Of some topic in
which the people introduced are mu-
tually interested, an allusion to an ac-
q%uaintance which they hold In common,
Il mention Of some place, book OF pic
ture familiar to both, launches them
successfully; and the hostess may turn
to her other guests with her mind at
case. If she is wise, she will have
asked several persons, preferably young
girls, to act as assistant hostesses, to
share the duties Of introducing and en-
pertaining. Slo will also have invited
several more men than women, in order
to have Il circulating medium; as q
man may without W kwardness lie left
standing alone, woman never.
Nothing in the line of p%arty.giving
is so easy rs q small evening party. 1t
Is often ~pleasantest when such guests
as come to see you, and do not, as En-
erson says, interposs a screen Of things
between you and them. Have done
with a%pologiesl Deficiencies speak for
themselves, and their mouths are not
to be Shut by explanations. Welcome
your guest heartily, set before HIM your
best of material and spiritual refresh-
mcnt, n then cease to De ~over-anxious
as to his enjoyment.
Let the rooms be softly, but not
dimly,. lighted. Lamps, except for
odor OF kerosene. are preferable TO eSas,
on account Of the milder light. Strew
the tables with books and photographs,
that four or Eve guests may talk to-
gether without effort. If refreshments
are to be passed, have everything ready
in a side room, and strive to time the
serving so that it may fill Il pause, in
stead of breaking in upon a full tide Of
conversation or music. Instruct the
servant that all the people in the same
group are to be served at the same
time. II not too warm, light a fire, as
a gathering point Add to these sur
roundings the inspiring presence Of Il
genial host and hostess, and what guest
could fail to respond by q cheerful
readiness TO enter into the spirit Of
festivity?
Alasl there are people who settle
back q leaden weight upon their enter.
tanners; people whose eyes are fixed on
a hole in the sofa cover while they lis
ten languidly to their host; people who
appear to regard vivacity as a mark of
inferior breeding-social oysters, who
hope, by never opening their shells, to
deceive the world into the belief that
they hold Il pearl. All these are as
common as they are depressing. The
ideal guest is much more rare than the
ideal hostess. The role Involves the
power to play second fiddle gracefully,
TO take time from the first violin, and
aim simply to aid the general effect.
With no personal interest in making Is
party a success, to throw one's vital
energies into tho breach is a stretch Of
altruiSM as rare as admirable.
Much Of the explanation Of the letli-
argy of guests lies in that phrase;,'The
CAPSlNltulC VI Situl CuC1Sy. " Z, tS
q race, are too tired for social enjoy
{ ment. An editor who was invited to a
literary gathering to listen to Il paper,
responded, with moro vigor than civ
ility: "Good graciousl would you ask a
man who had been feeling trees all day
for living to come to q wood-chopping
party in the evening for fun2"
!, The task Of making society sociable
may well stagger q hostess if it involves
, first regulating the bushes day Of the
guest. But that a leisure class does
not solve the problem is sufficiently at
tested by Byron's description OF
"Society, one vast and polished horde,
Formed Of two mighty tribes. the bores
and bored"
Y This is the verdict OF one who had tried
all the luxury and elaboration that
could be devised by a class which made
society a chief pursuit. Suppose, then
we beg n at the other end, and try
what help may lie in simplilication, and
the adaptation OF society to the require
mentS of bushes men and busy wo.
men; in adopting q social code wherein
the only thing demanded Of the hosts
Shall be a spirit Of hospitality, and the
only requisition of the guests readiness
T. to be entertained and IL desire to con
tribute something to the hilarity OF the
} occasion.
Just His Way.