The Penn's Grove record., 1889-07-06

tn be envoy extraordinary u minister
excruciatingly to the court OF iarooo'
The regular office seeker sniffs at the
other fellows appearance and snorts at
his alleged Republicanism. PRESIDENT
Harrison who has had a pair OF eye
teeth cut, so far as the hungry are o II
cerned, anticipated the onslaught OF
June 30. by quietly stealing away to
Baltimore during the morning hours
with The ostensihle purpose of bringing
home Mrs. Harrison.
The Agricultural department since 1t
has been raised to the dignity OF having
a representative in the cabinet is more
than ever before. the recipient OF the
attentions of cranky people everywhere,
who imagine that the governm' mt could
issue enough money tomake all the peo-
ne rich and that the government that
would stock fish ponds could not, logi-
cally. refuse to stock farms. Inc !
received bv the Agricultural depart
ment contains daily a thousand odd re-
quests. Everyone has heard of the
| Congressman, who during the last ses-
sion. received a letter from a blunder-
ing constituent reading, please e
me the Agricultural department" And
the Congressman was not IA bit surprised,
but said that he had often expected that
it would come to this; he had been ask
ed for the department in detail n
| INV he was not astoniShed to be requir-
ed to furnish the whole thug. And
this renitental error of this bucolic cor
respondent is out distanced by the APP
peal of hundreds of people.
A man near mansfield, Ohio, modest
" takes the cake. He writes, II wish
YOU would send me at once, delivered
to Mansfield a pair Of horses, two mules,
a yoke of oxen three Alderney cows and
a spring wagon and a sulky plow. Also
| some seed, l suppose there are other
things you give, but | won't bother
YOU now. will see Senator Sherman
when | go to town if he is home. He
is a great friend of mine. During last
| election he told me that | could have
everything in The Agricultural depart
| ment if | wanted it." The intelligent
voter is a creature of curious mental
construction.
| From over the sea, come occasionally
vague voices, with an idea that the
| Agricultural department has general
control of land and water. An inven-
| tor in Bohemia writes that he is much
distressed by the disaster in the Cone
maueh valley. Incidentally, he men
lions that he las invented a means of
preventing such floods, and that he
| would sell it to the United States gov
eminent for $500, 900. To show his
sincerity he add lhat tie wants no pay
ment until the utility of the system is
| fully shown and that if the government
is ihciined 10 ACT larry nc VIII s"oiinoe
important interests ana Dflhs Himself
ana his MODEL 10 Ameriealor lhspec'ioh'
for S2,Ooo'
What becomes OIL all tie inquiries
propoGnded 10 Tie various oepartihen's'
A nall are never answered 10 repay
to all oil them would require d much
larger force than Is al present employ
ed. "A large proportion Oh lhe cranky
correspondents wish certain laws COLI
strued, WORK that 'he various bureaus
are slow TO engage Ill "heh hoo heces-
sary, otheis ask iof Ihihes tha' 'he
village postmaster cOuih tell tnem were
unobtatnahie. a man writes 10 the
Pension bureau TO ask "ilether OF not
he is entitled TO pension OH o OIL
his nephew being Killed Ill service