Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-05-19
CARPENTER BOWSER.
THE FAMOUS DETROIT FAMILY HAS AN
OTHER SQUABBLB.
he Hangs the Screen Door to the Kitchen and Ia!
More or Less Fun With Himssli-Ths
Trouble About the Spring.
Detroit Free Press.


is simply an average husband. The aver
age husband knows it all without being
egotistical. Aud if any one has formed the
idea that Mr.. Bowser is obstinate, l wish
to disabuse his mind on that point. Mr..
Bowser never comedies to me, but that
isn't obstinacy. That is simply the way
of ali husbands.
The other r1orning I asked Mr.. Bowser
if he wouldn't send up carpenter to hang
the screen-door to the kitchen, and after
moments thought, he replied:
Pm in no hurry this morning, and I'll |
hang it myself"
But it's got to have spring on, You
know"
'Well, what of it?"
Can you-you-?"
''If can't want to be knocked on the
head for an idiot I've put on more door
and gate-spripgs than you've got hairs in
your head"
He got the door down from the loft, and
after running up and down and backwards
and forwards for half an hour his assort-
ment of tools consisted of two saws an
augur, brace and bit, plane, screw
driver and screws, square, compass, a
mitre-box and tspe-line.
docs it require all those tools to hang
a screen door," I queried
at Maryland it may not" he replied.
'Can l assist you in any way?"
Can you assist me- Mrs. Bowser, you
talk as if you didn't regard me as half
baked! When l want your valuable as
sistance I'll send you word on a postal
card"
l retired in good order and remained out
OF sight twenty minutes When returned
he had the door door on and seemed very
well satisfied
You'll have to make slight change in
that, Mr.. Bowser"
"How?"
You've hung it top to bottom"
II have, eh? Tll bet ycu 100000
to cent haven't"
well, look at the knob and the catch
and holdings on the panels"
He was fairly beaten, and he realized it,
but instead Of acknowledging the corn he
looked at it for a moment and then quiet
ly said:
81 slipped it on that way to see if you
would notice it, hut you'd have let it pass
if hadn't called your attention to itn'
In the course of half On hour he made
the change and was putting on the spring
when came back. He had never put
spring on a door in his life, and it would
not have detracted from his dignity to ask
my advice, but ne would have died first |
He measured for it and began 10 bore
hole for the screen. After he had worked |
for two or three minutes asked:
"Mr Bowser, which way are you turn
ing that gimlet?"
what do you mesn?" he demanded, as
he stopped work
You have been turning 10 the left. Dr."
"Of course l have Whoever heard of
turning a boring tool any other way.
81 have. You may work all day that
way and not accomplish anything. That
gimlet and all other gimlets turn to the
right"
''They do, eh? What smart wife l
have You had better deliver series Of
lectures on mechanism"
Twill you turn to the right?"
mo, ms'am"
He bored and bored, determined not to
give in, and at length pushed him aside,
and turned the gimlet to the right and had
it into the wood in no time.
Didn't tell you 80, Mr.. BowseI?"
"Well, the man who made that gimlet
deserves State prison It's the first one |
ever saw that turned to the right, and
bad seen millions of them before you were
born"
Can you put the spring on alone?"
Mrs Bowser," he answered, after glar-
ing at me in a chilled steel way for half
minute, perhaps ought to be in the
idiot asylum, and perhaps l do know
enough to come in when it rains. You
will oblige me very much by going into
the house and knocking that squalliDg
young I'm on the head. ="
1t was half an hour before dare make
an excuse to get out again. By that time
Mr.. Bowser had the spring on, but the
door stood open instead of shut. He was
standing in deep study.
81 know what ails it, Mr.. BOwser."
"How shrewdw
when you frightened the string up you
turned it 10 the right. That throws the
door open. If you'll tighten to the left,
the door will spring shut"
He sat down on the steps and looked at
me with twelve different shades Of irony
and sarcasm in his expression, and finally
ieigned to reply:
"Where did you learn all you know"
"Will you fix that spring as tell your"
"No. ma'am, won't. I've been look
NO it over, and l know where the trouble
IS. It's spring for a left-hand door. l
should have seen it at the outset If you
hadn't been bothering around"
81 can make that spring work on this
ioor."
"Mrs. Bowser, 1 wouldn't have your
,oncsit for no money, No wonder you
haven't a single friend in this neighbOr-
hood"
81 have all want, and can fix that
spring in two minutes"
Never You simply want an oppor- :
unity to break it. You'd tear the whole
,itchen down for the sake of carrying your
,oint. Go in and maui that bowling baby
grabbed the wrench from his hands,
oosened the spring and then turned it
he other way, and To- the door shut and
vas held stiff in its place, as was de-
igned.
''There. Mr.. BowserW
'There whatH'
'The spring shuts the door,"
81 don't see it."
But look! Did You ever see door
work nicer?"
at doesn't work at al"
"But seep'
81 see ruined door, just as expected
O see, and now ! must get an entire new
Green! Mrs. Bowser, l have borne from
-ou until the limit is about reached. I
L. 4 Ainra