The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1889-12-06
STUFF AND NONSENSE.

0AOEr anu oAN
GAINING ground-The ~successful real
estate man.
LANDLADY-How do you like your
eggs? New boarder-Fresh.
aAzURE cure for the blues" sounds
rather cerulean as we'll as paradox
ical.
HE-Darling. will you love when TIM
gone? She-Yes; if you are not too far
gone.
Who can give us the name and adj
dress of the shoemaker that first tried
to cobble stones?
REPUBLICS were ever nngrateful.
We put u great men on postage
stamps, and then punch their heads.
An old maid said she wished she was
an auctioneer. for then IT would be per-
offer"
A wR1TER takes q whole column in .
newspaper to tell "What We Drink"
while another has simply to wink at
the bartender.
ED-My grandfather died tonight.
Al-And I suppose you will have to
pay for the funeral? Ed-Oh, no, the
city pays the expenses; grandpa was
hung.
Mrs. SHAW, the whistler, separated
from her husband a few years ago and
earns her own living. We suppose she
asked him for money and he said she
might whistle for it, so she did.
An old man of our acquaintance says
he was horn at the wrong time. when
I was young" he says, "young men
were of no account, and now that I am
old. old men are of no account"
sYEs, sah," said Maj. Rifle, sthe
Kentuckians are a courageous set of
men, sab. Brave and self-reliant in any
peril" "That's very true" replied
Billy Bliven. "Inever knew n ofthem
to take water"
WOMAN Ito tramp)-W Want some
thing to eat, ell? Well, here's some
cold hash. Tramp-But I haven't got
anything to eat it with. Woman-Just
keep on a little further and you'll find
a fork in the road.
JIMsoN-Great heavens! old man,
what have you been doing with your.
self? Why, you're covered with mud
from head to foot! Wilson, dined in
a Bowery restaurant, and a waiter upset
a cup of coffee on me.
NEPHEW Crying to make a good inn
pression) Uncle, this port is excel
lent. Uncle-Well I should think SO;
it is fifty years old. Nephew-By Jove.
you don't say SO! What a superb wine
it must have been once!
Mir. GALL wonder what you were
dreaming about last night? You
reached out and patted the marble top
of the table and smiled. Mrs. Gall
oh, I remember now. l dreamed I was
patting you on the cheek.
G1LpED youth ito charming young
lady whom he meets on the cars)-Aw,
good morning, Miss Dasher. Glad to
meet you. We do not see as much of
you now MS we did when we we're at
the beach for the bathing.
"WnAr's the matter, Eddie?" willie
Thomas has gone and moved out of this
street, boo HOB" well, don't cry;
there are plenty of other little boys in
the neighborhood to play with" "Y-e-s.
butt he's theo-n-l-y one I could lick"
DIsENCHANTMENT.
Wills We S5Zo III duIllIdtIOu
On 9 sweet and radiant lass.
And think only sweetest music
Through those coral lips can pass.
We're awfully shocked to see her
Down the garden pathway stride.
And hear her cry. Say, Johnnie come in.
Or mother will tan your hide!"
Mrs. W1cKw1RE-If woman were
given the credit she deserves, I don't
think man would be quite as prominent
in the worlds history. Mr.. Wickwire
IL guess you are right. If she could
get all the credit she wanted, he'd be
in the poorllouse.
WHERE he put his faith: Long
suffering Wifc-How do You expect u
woman to provide vittals and drink
when you don't bring home no cash
Saturday night? husband-Why,
M'rier, the grocer and the butcher amt
moved, has they?
NERVOUS Gentlcman-Now, be care
full how yon drive. cabby, and go slow
ly over the stones, for / hate to be
shaken. And mind you pull up at the
right house, and look out for those
dreadful steam cars. Cabby-Never
fear, sir, I'll do my best. And which
'orspital would You wish to be taken to,
sir. i'll case of an accident?