The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-02-22
CHAPTER III.

ferent elements, cannot, in the nature OF
things, possess very marked characteristic
traits.
There are Americans in plenty, but the
American does not yet exist.
The inhabitant of the northeast states, the
Yankee, differs as much from the western
man and the southerner as the Englishman
differs from the German or the Spaniard.
For example, call Yankee "a cad, y and
he will get out of the room, remarking:
"You say SO, sir, but that proves nothing"
Call a Pennsylvania man "a cad" and he will
get out of temper and knock you down. Call
a real westerner "a cad" and he will get out
his revolver and shoot you dead on the spot.
Should minister indulge in unorthodox
theories in the pulpit, the eastern man will
content himself with shaking his head, and
going to another church to perform his de
votions the Sunday after. The Pennsylvania
will open violent polemic in the newspapers
of the locality. The Kansas man will wait
for the minister at the church door and give
him sound thrashing.
On board the steamer we had five Ameri-
cans who passed the eight days of the voyage
in playing poker. The smoking room rang
from morning to night with the oaths that
they uttered every time they laid card on
the table. They were so fluent with them
that they hardly used the same twice in an
hour. Their stock seemed inexhaustible. On
Sunday after breakfast a young lady sat
down to the piano, and began playing hymns
What happened thens Our five poker play
ers gathered round the lady and, for two
hours, sang psalms and holy hymns to the
edification of the other occupants of the
saloon.
was dumfounded.
In France we have men who swear, and
men who sing hymns. The Anglo-Saxon race
alone can furnish men who do both with
equal gusto.
In what other country than America could
such an anecdote as the following be tolda It
is the most typically American anecdote
heard in the United States. 1t came from
Mr.. Chauncey Depew, it is said. But, for
that matter, when a good story goes the
round of the states, it is always put down to
Mr.. Depew, Mark Twain. or the late Artemus
Ward.
A new minister had been appointed in a
little Kentucky town. No sooner had he
taken possession of his cure than he set about
ornamenting the church with stained glass
windows of gorgeous hues. This proceeding
aroused the suspicious of several parishioners,
who imagined that their new pastor was in
clined to lead them to Rome. A meeting
LODI nd ,l,,lk cc
tation to the minister to ask him to explain
his conduct, and beg him to have the offend
ing windows removed. ---.--.sa.-.szl
The head of the deputation was an old man
Of Presbyterian proclivities, whose austerity
was well known in the town. He opened fire
by addressing the reverend gentleman thus:
1--WE have waited upon you, sir, to beg that
you will remove those painted windows from
our church as soon as possible. We arc sim
pie folks, Gods own light is good enough for
us, and we don't want to have it shut out by
all those images"-
The worthy man had prepared a fine har-
angue, and was going to give the minister
the benefit of it all; but the latter, losing
patience, thus interrupted him:
Excuse me, you seem to be taking high
ground; who are you, may asker
who am ~ repeated tho good old spokes-
man. sim meek and humble follower of
Jesus that's what am, and, - d-n you,
who arc YOUR All
Without travelling very far, without even
quitting the eastern coast of America, you
will SEQ complete difference in the spirit of
towns that are almost neighbors.
In New York, for instance-I am not speak
ing now of tho literary society, of which /
shall speak later-in New York, it is your
money that will open all doors to you; in
Boston, it is your learning; in Philadelphia
and Virginia, it is your genealogy. There
fore, if you wish to boa success, parade your
dollars in New York, youl. talents in Boston,
and your ancestors in Philadelphia and Rich
mond.
Scarcely has a foreigner set foot in the
United States before they ask him what he
thinks of tho country. Mine persons out of
every ten you speak to put these three ques-
lions to you: Az.
Q) ''Is this your first visit to American
~ Glow long havcyou been over?"
C9 "How do you like our countryP
There are even soma who push curiosity
further, and do not wait until you have ar
rived to ask for your opinion on America
! had only just embarked on board the
Germanic, at Liverpool, when the purser
handed me a letter from New York.
opened it and read
''DEAR SIR-Could you, during your voy-
age, write me an article on the United States9
Ishould be happy to have your preconceived
notions of America and the Americans, SO as
to publish them in my journal as soon as you
arriven - - - ~
An Englishman or q Frenchman win never
ask you what youthink of England or France.
The Frenchman does not doubt that his coun-
try is beyond competition II he enter into
the subject at all, it is to congratulate the
stranger upon coming to visit it.
The Englishman is perfectly persuaded
that his England is tho FIRST country in the
world and that everybody admits it, and the
idea of asking an outsider for his opinion of
1t would never enter his head He would
think It so ridiculous, so amusing, so gro
tesque, that any one should tell him England
was not at the head Of all nations, that he