The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-03-10
SUNDAY SALAD.

! pretty good story is told Of Colonel
Lazellc, who IS now in charge Of the publ
cation Of the Records Of the Rebellion, -
and who has just been promoted to the
colOnelcy Of the eighteenth foot as the
infantry are called in the service. Quite a
number Of years ago, when major, he was
ordered to West Point as commandant, the
chief duties of the position being to super
wise the drill and discipline Of the corps of
cadets. Soon after his arrival at the Point,
those exercises began, which are known as
| battalion drills, and which require the
presence Of all of the cadets in one body.
OF course, 800 young men placed in line,
either in single or double rank o. in open
| intervals as skirmishers. stretch for great
distance-a fact that did not seem to occur
to the commandment during the early days of
his detail, as shown by his thoughtless
preference for those evolutiOns re
quiring the tanks of the battalion to
move repeatedly over long distances.
Bad enough at ordinary quick time, this
sort of thing became simply cruel at
double time" and was exasperating
beyond measure because of the manifest
Indifference Of the colonel to the situation,
to whom, perched upon his willing charger,
it made little difference whether the drill
was slow or fast, at quick time" or
double time" The evil was so great and
the hardship so extreme that IL became
necessary in the cadet mind TO find 4 rem
edy; but how to do it was the question, for
military etiquette and austerity would not
allow interiors to instruct superiors in their
duties, and suggestion from cadet to COM
mandant would have been followed by
instant disgrace. The direct method being
impracticable, it became necessary to resort
to indirection. The occasion was found in
the annual 'stOop entertainment a min
strcl show given by the cadets to the popu-
lation OF the reservation, in which the
stoop OF the barracks was fitted up and
used as a stage ald the star-lit area as an
auditorium. Officers cadets and civilians
all attended the show, which is one of
those rare occasions in the cadet
life III which officers and cadets
mingle together on anything approach
ing d social footing. Colonel Lazelle
was present, and seemed to enjoy the
the opening overture ard various other
features Of part one of the performance.
Good feeling prevailed; the bars of mill
tary etiquette were for the moment
thrown down. and the occasion was seized
by the fertile brain Of cadet. whose
strategical ability should, some day, make
itself felt on the tented field. He vas one
Of the end men, and propounded the fcl-
lowing question: "Mister Jackson. can
you tell de difference between eternity
and battalion drill!'' Mr.. Jackson es-
sayed several answers and others came to
his assistance, but they were all unable to
suggest the difference. and Mr.
Jackson said, mo, Mr. Macuiah, we give
it up: what is the difference between
eternity and battalion driIl!' You give
it up!' Yes, we give it up" was the re
ply. ''Well'' said Mr. Maguiah. the diff
ference an that ones al time ard
the others al double time"
The echoes CT old Fort Putnam. :. mile
away, We're awakened by the shout that
followed: officers joined with cadets, and
the commandant with all. The object was
accomplished and the evil was corrected.
No truer type Of the Ould Sod can be
imagined than our hackman. Con O'Keefe.
as he sits on his perch, enveloped in his
great coat, the rain drilling from his hat
on a stormy day. "How's trade, Conc we
asked him recently. ''F'orst rate, me boy ::
forst rate. 1 had wan funeral yesterday.
I've another today, and place God, III
haYe aGotltr tomorrow"
~
1.-THE anonymous letter writer IS abroad,
and he has not forgotten the NIcManamy
Jury; one of the devoted twelve has re-
ceived a side-splitting missive emblazone d
with such humorous embIems as white caps.
skulls and cross-bones; still another has
an epistle reading thus "McManamy has
gone to Indiana; shall his example be lost
on his jury!'
-
Mr. W. pious man, has started in to
train his four year-old in the way he should
go; among other things he has taught him
a brief form of grace 70 be repeated at the
family meals, and the other day, having
some friends in to dinner, Jacky was asked
to return the usual thanks. All heads were
inclined and Jacky ratified off the following:
'Our fovver who art in heaven: Blessing on
iss food, Blessing on papa and mamma and
little buvver, shoot bang! amen!''
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