davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-03-23

ittzphopp-"Waitah! lobstah, whole and
fully dwessed."
Waiter-"Yes, sir. With or without"
Fittzphopp-"With or without what?"
Waiter-"The eyeglass. Philadelphia Cal.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-03-23

The street car people think the present te-up
comes from giving their employees too much rope.
- YORkerS Statesman.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
THE VANISHING FRAUD.

There is hardly mention now of the
elixir that was to rejuyenate the old and
worn and prolong life. There may be
something in it for the Investigation of
scientists. but as materializer of the
dreams of Missionaries it is pronounced a
failure. 1t is probably we'll that it is so.
The average of life is being extended
by better living and closer following of
natural laws. but it would be serious
shock to the economies of life if its
duration could be suddenly extended
twenty or thirty years. 1t would re-
quire new adjustments. Possibly it
would be bonanza to life insurance
companies, but it would bring disaster
to other classes, especially undertakers
and monument builders. 1t would dis
courage pulpits too, as a large class
would want to defer their ministrationS
till the elixir began to fail. 1t is pc
culiar fact that while most people
would be glad to prolong life and take
the chances, it is nearly impossible to
find one who would be willing to go
over the past again in exactly the same
steps. They see now where they missed
chances to indulge in forbidden pleas
ures. But there is only one life, and it
is wise to keep it on good lines.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
ALAUGH THAT RINGS.

How to Distinguish the Good Eel
low from the Sneak.
Chicago Journal
A young man who is credited by his
friends with being a good deal of a
philosopher penned me up in corner
to-day and harangued me as follows:
Ibid you ever study the human laugh
as an index to human character? 1t is
an lnfallible test, me boy. Did you
ever know a man who simpered and
glggled like a girl who wasn't sneak in
his heart? And, on the contrary, did
you ever know fellow who laughed
squarely out with good honest roar who
wasn't the prince of good fellow?
A Shrill laugh is indicative of deceit,
and deep chuckle proves sincerity and
good-nature. By this | don't mean that
man with tenor voice can't laugh as
though he was honest, or one with a
bass voice cover his inSincerity with a
mere below It's the ring that talks.
Ii the laugh has no ring in it you can
put the fellow down as a half-hearted
cuss, no matter if his laugh is loud
enough to lift the roof of the Audito-
rum. Stand twenty men up it row be.
fore me and do something to set them
all laughing, and PlI separate the
good fellows from the Miss Nancies
about as quickly as you could get out
side of beefsteak after a years
famine. See2'
| said | saw, and made a successful
dive for liberty.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
SUNDAY CHATTER.

The pictures of the earlier times of
the perils and hardships of missionary
life among the heather were calculated
to deter many really good and enthusi
astic people from engaging in the work.
An occasional survivor, who had eS-
capped and returned under some favor
ng providence, would depict the life in
the distant and benighted land in such
dark colors as to send shoulders through
the young hearts. But the more recent
pictures taken in some of the fields are
not so forbidding. A good lady from an
other state, visiting in st. Paul the past
week, related that two or three years ago
her youns daughter became the wife of
a young man who had his heart filled
with the missionary spirit. They were
assigned to japan. and the end of their
bridal tour found them in that fowery
land. The happy young bride writes in
the most glowing spirit of the delights
of lite there A beautiful home, lovely
climate, near the sea. and beyies of
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
Counterfeit Mothers,

The unsympathetic and cynical peo-
pie are apt to speak lightly and with
suspicion of ridicule of the good ladies
who bestow their affections on diminu-
tive CANNES, carrying, cuddling. caresS-
ing, fondling, and even kissing them.
Those who have babies to absorb the
tactical fluids of natural affection, as it
were, do not take to the dog usually.
There may be instances, perhaps, where
the esthetic development leads to the
consignment of children to nurses
while the mistress devotes herself to
the CANNES. But there Is notable
lack of apprec ton of this trait. Rude
ness and annoyance are often seen. A
lady the other day came to st. Paul
from her Eastern home and brought
couple of pet poodles. Her companions
and solace were cruelty rent from her
embrace by the hardened railroad men
and quartered in an unSighJly den in
the baggage car, and the exactions cost
her many dollars more than her own
fare. Then on arriving here, tine cable
car men refused to allow her to take
her pets on the car. with disparaging
illusions; and even the hackman wanted
extra pay for them. A reform move
ment is evidently needed.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
THE FRENCH ELECTIONS.

Next Sunday general elections are to
be held in France for members of the
chamber of deputies. In this country
the election of members of congress
would not excite any apprehension as
to the stability of the governmental sys-
TEN. NAPOLEON said the French were
a tickle people, and they have not out
grown that characteristic. The indica-
tions. however. are favorable for a con-
tinuance of the republic. BoULANGER
is candidate for one of the precincts.
but he is too much of an exploded fire.
cracker to be feared, even if he gains
seat. As political system, Boulanger-
ism is effete. The republic has passed
the limit of prediction or any form of
rule for a century. The events of the
year show that the dissatisfied elements
are strong in force, but divided in aims
The administration under the republic
has been in the main creditable. 1t has
promoted educational interests and
given more liberty than ever enjoyed
before. 1t has committed some blunders
and lost prestige to some extent. Still
the outlook is encouraging to the friends
of the republic.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
Pase Rail- Profits.

There is little evidence of diminish
ing public interest in the noble Amer
lean game of base ball. Where there
has been a suspicion of indifference
among the players and probable poor
play, there has been loss of general
interest; but the present season will
average up well as far as this industry
is concerned. Estimates are already
made of the results of the season. The
gate receipts Of the sixteen league and
association clubs are put at 81, 167, 900,
with expenses at $73O,0O0. This leaves
a good-looking margin. The Boston
club will net 5000, those of New York
and Chicago $4,000 each. and Philadel-
phia $50, 900 as figured. In the larger
cities the stockholders of the club make
the money, but in the smaller assOcia-
lions the players. Base ball is one of
the established industries. and should
be recognized as such in the census. 1t
is proposed to establish training schools
for instruction in the art. The public
likes to pay for it. but insists that it
shall be given no monkey work on the
diamond.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
The Ghost Superstition.

One of the most irrational conceits,
as we'll as one of the oldest and most
prevalent, is the fear of ghosts. A
woman in Kentucky was so frightened
by one that she died as consequence.
1t was immaterial. as far as she was
concerned, that it turned out to be the
reflection of all electric light. One
would naturally suppose that there
would be eagerness to meet the visit
ants from the world to which all must
go. This apprehension largely grows
out of the ill-advlsed bugaboos put up
to hush children into Quietude or good
ness. AS persons become older they
should observe that ghosts are badly
abused institutions. They do not at
tack people. Still, their practice of
fitting about and coming upon people
in out-of- the-way places should be dis
couraged Those that appear to spirit
ual mediums or seances do not gener-
ally occasion alarm, and often make
friends by their genial and decorous
ways. They merit encouragement. if
any ghosts do.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
PULPIT OBJECT LESSONS.

There is disposition in the presenta-
ton of religious eXpOsitionS of recent
times to follow the dramatic line and
make the scenes as realistic as possible.
In one of the camp meetings held by
the Holiness people in Illinois the
parable of the Prodigal Son was acted
out with a dilapidated young man as
the prodigal, and real fatted calf was
introduced and killed. Crowds were
drawn to the meeting, perhaps expect
ing the calf to be barbecued and dis
tributed. A young preacher sent out
by the Y. NJ. g. A. illustrated the saw
ing influence in a chemical way. He
took bottle of clear water and poured
in few drops of some matter turning
it black-a second infusion made it red.
Then third caused precipitation of
salts and restored the water to its
original purity. Black sin permeated
the natural purity, then salvation came
through blood and the original purity
was regained. Such object lessons
would draw better than the sermon.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
The Potato Extinction.

Some of those who are always trying
to find out things to make life uncom-
Portable are learning that the great
staple vegetable, the potato, is losing
its vitality, and in a moderate period
will be extinct, unless some sort of vege-s
table elixir can be infused intoit. In view
of this fate, some of the scientists and
botanists are trying to check the decay
by a cross with some South American
plants. 1t would almost be a shock to
civilization to lose the potato. 1t is
comparatively a modern vegetable.
Adam never saw it,and there is no men
ton of it in the Scriptures. The impress
sion that it originated in Ireland is prob
ably without support, although its
origin is involved in mystery. Peru has
the better claim, but few samples
came from some quarter to England,
Spain and Virginia some three centuries
ago. The scientists will see that it does
not run out,as it is among the essentials
of the times
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
LITERARY NOTES.

'LORA. THE MAJORS DAUGHTER" By
w. Heimburg. Translated by Mrs.
j. w. Davis. Fully illustrated; l
vol, 12mo; cloth, S1.25; paper, "a
cents. st. Paul Book and Stationery
company.
In philosophy, in philology. in history,
in biography, German literature is mOSi
valuable; yet in that particular branch
which we style fiction it was long de.
ficient. The seventeenth century 70.
mances of Bucholtz and his contempt
raries were grotesquely unreal and de-
void of plan; the peSSimistic writers OF
the eighteenth century were too mysti-
cal. Goethe once said: mo man would
ever live to understand FAUST" bnt
after Goethe and Schiller the Ger
man novel developed rapidly, and the
tales of Freytag and Auerbach and
Muhlbach have brought hours of pleas
ure not only to German readers, but the
English reading world as well.
The essence of good novel is not, as
seems to be the theory of host of mod
ern authors, mere sentiment and silly
dialogue. but good plot. The plot is
the backbone of novel,
This "Lora, the Majors Daughter"
by w. heimburg, is charming picture
of German life, true to nature, and
strong character study. There is no
elaboration of false characters to re-
semble real lite, all the situations are
within the range of possibilities, and the
attention of the reader is held to the
very end.
The loving and long-suffering mother,
the affectionate and seIf-sacrificing
daughter, the patient lover. the extrav-
CANT son. are most wildly placed before
the readers mind. Strength, both of
plot and detail, is manifest through the
entire work. The peaceful commence
ment. the trying middle. the happy end
ing, all component parts of well-told
story, are characteristic of Herr Helm,
burg'S writings.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
BucoIic Intelligence.

A company of city and country farm
ers on the Fair grounds Yesterday were
reviewing their bucOlic experiences
when one of the city farmers spoke Of
having his hand between the teeth of a
COW when he lived on country farm.
His statement was questioned on the
ground that cow has no upper teeth.
This was denied by the city farmer, and
a wager made. Of course, he lost. He
had been raised on farm, and still did
not know the bovine dental economy.
Another of the party insisted that if
two men notrelated married two sisters
they would become brothers-in-law.
This was denied, and WEBSTER made
the umpire, defeating the knowing man.
The instances show how inaccurately
some persons observe and discriminate
The most stately erudite people are
often tripped by small and simple facts
that lie right about them. In fact, the
things that people do not just remem-
Der would fill several books,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
A Machine of Integrity.

An illustration of integrity and i'm
placable allegiance to Its standard of
right is afforded by the nickel-in-the-
slot machine. 1t has one price, and
cannot be made to swerve from it. One
of them was tempted with dime yes
terday by man not we'll versed in the
probity or understanding the high sense
of honor for which they are noted. 1t
is true the machine took in the dime
and was profoundly Indifferent to all
appeals to restore it. A five-dollar gold
piece would have met the same fate,
but that's not a part of the moral taught.
That is merely lucrative incident. The
slot machine stands for single, straight
cut fact that is announced on its face.
There is nothing of the politician or un-
prIncipled trafficker about it. The nickel
must be paid or it will not deliver the
goods. The world will be better off
when its transactions are more like the
nickel in the slot, aside from the doubt
full feature alluded to.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
SAY NOT WE DREAM.

You say you dreamed kissed you,
And so real did it seem
That to-day you sigh, because, forsooth,
1t only was dream.
Ny shining tresses saw you, too,
In golden ripples CLEAN,
And then, alas-you woke to find
That ii was just DIRE am!
All. call it not dream, dear heart
For oft on pinions fleet,
Ger distance wide, my spirit hastes
Your own, my love. to greet.
In fancy, DER and DER again,
see your dear loved face,
Your tender glance, your loving smile,
Your form of matchless grace.
And when your kisses softly fall
Upon my lips, they seem
So real my love, that 1t is strange
If this be just dream.
Then say not that we dream, dear heart,
But that our spirits meet
In mystic realm, where we alone
May hold our converse sweet
Malley cambridge Crist in Cincinnati Ell
Suirer.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
A TRUE LOVER.
nth into the world AGAIN

Go forth into the world again,
Searching for one as fair and sweet?
Leave you. who are my dream complete?
Leave you, and let the great sun wane,
Shrouding my lite in darkness? oh,
Love- oh.my love. cannot go!
Then say that love is but a show
Some wizard casts before your eyes;
They say that as fadi' flower
Rapture will lose its m. e power
To turn to heaven this earth of woe;
But say, Love, cannot go!'
To touch your heart with perfect faith,
To win with ardor your rare life,
So full of beauty, charm and praise,
So full of bliss 10 light my days
From now TO death, were you my wife
I take your trembling answer so.
And love, my love, l cannot go!
Rose Hawthorne Lathrop, in Harper $
Weekly.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15

on, it is absolutely refreshing to find
decision that notonly covers every ques-
ton of law and fact, but covers them so
thoroughly and exhaustively as to leave
no ground for an appeal. This case was
one that had excited more than usual
interest, both at home and abroad, be-
canse of the large amount involved and
the high standing of the litigants. 1t
must, therefore, be a source of gratifica-
ton to Judge BREWER to know that he
has rendered decision which not only
excites the admiration of the legal pro-
fession. but is also received with uni
versal popular favor.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
Distributing His Favors.

Young Mrs. Greene Henry, dear, do
you think so much bread and molasses
is good for Harry?
Young Mr.. Greene Certainly, it's
good for him. Don't you know 'Dread
is the staff of life?"
Young Mrs. Greene-Y-e-e-e-s, bnt so
much molaSSes, you know!
Young Mr.. Greene-Well, what of it?
He doesn't eat the molasses; he leaves
that on the doOr-knob.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
THE RoMAUNT OF A HAIRPIN,

Gray little Quaker, quiet eyed,
Cooped i'll the corner of car.
l watched you leaf from leaf divide
In that poor novel Like Star"
Your paper knife, do declare,
Was but hairpin from your hair.
And while the hai-pin led the way,
| saw you smile from page to page,
And nod your head as if to say:
This story doth my heart engage"
But suddenly, unlike lamb,
You shut the volume with slam.
What did the precious heroine do?
Prove false, though most diyinely fairP
Or die untimely? Would | knew,
That might make the placid air
Wherein that novelist exists
A very hurricane of fists
All would that l might pen tale,
All fashioned for your ears alone;
A little ship with silver sail
From sapphire seas of Eros flown.
But mol You put the hairpin back
And left the train ct Hackensack.
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15

quick, bright servants, leaving abso-
lutely nothing to do. A six years sit
uation, and good material as well as
spiritual recompense. The people are
amiable and refined, and don't eat mis-
sionaries. Some preaching and teach
ing is done by the men. but there are
many more uncomfortable phases of life
than those of the modern missionary.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
A Crank Threatens billion.

MELBOURNE, Sept. 14.-While John
Dillon was entering his hotel in this city
to-day he was intercepted by man who
drew revolver and pointed it at him
The man was seized and the revolver
was taken away from him, when it was
discovered that the weapon was not
loaded. The man is supposed to be
''crank."
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
JUDGE BREWERS DECISION.

The thoroughness of Judge BREWERS
against HILL and others is scarcely less
remarkable than the courteous manner
in which he disposes of the exceedingly
ugly points in the case. The decision
is model of its kind, and deserves to
be preserved in the judicial annals of
the country as a study for future jutists.
In these days when judicial tribunals
are prone to touch as few points of a
case as it is possible to hang a decision
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
Delaney Pleads for Freedom.

DUBLIN, Sept. 1.-THE Freeman's
Journal publishes letter from Patrick
Delaney, who was implicated in the
Phoenix park murders and is now in
prison, addressed to a prominent official
at Dublin castle, III which the convict
plteously claims his release from prison
as reward for giving evidence for the
London Times before the Parnell com.
mission.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15

PARTIES of religiOnists in Massachu-
sets in charge of the Millennium have
definitely fixed on Oct. Z as the culmi-
mating event. Bat their jurisdiction does
not extend to the West. If they are not
mistaken, however. it will cut off any
chance for SULLIVAN to go to congress
from Boston.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
Sincere, Not Peculiar.

Yankee Blade.
Dealer-What kind of a novel would
you like? Here is one that has been
well received by the critics. and they all
say that it is book that every one
ought to read
Young Lady-That is just the book l
don't want. Have you any that the
public is advised not to read?
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15
Diversified
Manufact-
uring.

will all be filled. And yet it seems to
me to be question worth considering,
what are we going to do with all the
additional population that we are max
ing room for? Are we going TO depend
on our railroads and commercial busi-
ness to furnish them employment? Or
might it not be wiser to enlarge our
manufacturing industries and thus
make sure of keeping here all who come.
Ii part of the money that is going into
residences and office buildings could be
used in establishing manufacturing
industries it would give better assur-
ance of permanent prosperity. 1t is not
essential that manufacturing plants
should &c laid out on large scale. In
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15

ONE of the colored citizens of Kansas
is reported to have died from eating too
much watermelon. 1t is the only case
on record. In carly times i'll that state
or Missouri there was political water
melon that made trouble. but that
snecies is extinct.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15

pulpit as an advertising agency of
which the press may be little enyious.
A dull, tedious story and superficial
theological views became quite
bonanza to the surprised author.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15

A ST. LOUIS paper states that in that
city the young ladies have mastered the
art of riding the bicycle in man fashion
in way that lmpresses the observer as
graceful and modest. Perhaps the
JENNEss MILLER leglet has come in
fashion therp
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15

THAT gun forty-seven feet in length
that is exhibited in Paris carries its
heavy missiles from twelve to fifteen
miles, according to tests. If it would do
that sort of work as steady thing on
vessel, it might annoy coast cities with
out getting near them. But the modern
torpedo boats and other devices might
have something to remark.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15

THERE is no occasion to question the
fidelity of the good WANAMAKER to the
cause of prohibition because he allows
his daughter 10 break bottle of cham
payne at the christening of ship. Only
the fishes incur peril of inebriety from
it. The mission of prohibition is to
waste the contents of bottles.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-15

the France, and NJ. Canvet, editor or
the Paris, became involved in dispute,
the outcome of which was duel, which
was fought to-day. M. Lalou was
wounded i'm the hand.