davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

I RS not, etpeetsd that all eonuadynns con-
fiibuted In TBE cRITIc's contest NIL be Of he
arsf order, out 10 make them lpW afford recyea-
ti0n 10 any group gathered OF an ereniBg, and
those any tody m0rthy tviH be printed. Look dt
ne column on TIE second page headed, "A Prize
Conuadrup, Contsst.'h ~
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

II WASHINGTON is to have n National
Musical Hall, let It be the biggest one In
the world, and let the music OF all future
conventions be heard there.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25
Ready to be Heard on Appeal.

The case of William Briggs, convicted of
murder, and James Brown, alias Buck,
who was convicted of stealing Mrs Potter's
diamonds, are ready to he heard on appeal
IN the Court in General Term, Judge Mont
gomery having signed both bills Of excep-
lions
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

Is IT GOING to be Senator Matt. Quay
who will represent the United States Gov
erument at the Court of st. Jamesp
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

The LETTERS appearing in to-day's
Carrie from number OF the ba'bers OF
the city regarding the cutting of tho hair
IN "Ihe light or the darkn of the moon are
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

The divorce case of Elizabeth Bartlett
against Henry Bartlett was dismissed be.
cause OF the complaipant's death.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

Seek no further Salvation on is what
you want for sprained ankle, Price 20 cts
Even the American Indians speak most
fayorably OF DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup. % cts.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25
Thougi,tful Trees.

How is 1t that trees put on their summer
dresses without opening their trunks? They
leave them out.
A Policeman.
What is invisible blue2 A policeman
when he is wanted.
The Deadly Drummen
Why is drummer the greatest person of
the age? Because time beats all men, aud
drummer beats time. TfNNY.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

Julius Levi and Lizzie Levi; Alfred L,
Jaryo, New York city, and Pauline Traitel,
CITY fUttf Ii
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

(sOmerville Journai,

CSoneryille Journai)
Why is IL that a man never gives the
minister 50 big fee for marrying him to his
second Wifeg
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25
In Romah Charaeters.

How can you take one away from thirty.
four and leave thirty-fveY g.
XXXIv; one (I) away leaves XXXv.
II a little mouse could speak to It's mother
what opera would IL speak inf .s
Hear me Normal Hear me gnawma
Mrs. NJ, Twenty second street.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

Why is coal the most contradictory thing
In commerce. Because when bought Il
goes to the cellar (seller). G. L. s. 7
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25
PRIZE CONUNDRUM CONTEST.

The prize conundrums are still pour
ing In. As announced the prize
of So is for the best lot of orlgi-
nal conundrums with their answers, to
to be sent In to this Office before April /.
These will be given daily The conundrums
may be sent In at any time--the sooner the
better The award will be made by
Mr.. w. J. Hampton of THE CRrrrc
editorial staff. The prize offered is insignif-
cant, but the contest is droll and It is
hoped THE CRITIc's readers will continue
to enter into II heartily for the amusement
II will afford. Here are another lott
Three from the Coast.
New York, March %, Editor Critic:
Having seen in the New York Euening
World an account stating that you were
conducting conundrum prize contest in
your paper inclose some which will
enter for the prize.
j. II. L., 345 Third avenue.
What Is the difference between The
WASHINGTON CRITIC and the New York
Horldp 275 miles.
Why does the tom cats ON the back fence
resemble unskilful surgeons Because
they tmue-till-late). Mutilate and destroy
patients.
Why does Littlewood, the walker, start
ing In race resemble treef Because
when he (leaves) leaves he makes good use
of his tlimbs) limbs.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

interest VIII ne chcertully printed IN THE
CniTIc under this head. Letters should in all
cases be as brief as possible.
The Ericsson Monument.
Extract from letter to Theodore r.
Timby from Hon. John F. Winslow, one OF
the contractors and builders OF the original
Monitor.
PoueHKErrsIE, N. Y, March 81, 1889.
T.R. TniBY, ESQ.,. Some months ago
saw II stated In some OF the papers that
you had gone to Japan, and, | supposed,
for the purpose of showing those Celestials
how to defend their coasts mechanically
and perfectly. Judge then, of my surprise
and satisfaction on receipt yesterday, OF
several Washington newspapers with the
article on a monument TO Captain John
Ericsson, over your signature. SO vlgor-
GUS and characteristic was IL that think
should have recognized II had II not had
your autograph. But 1t did not say enough,
because OF your tender-footedness-
modesty In not saying word about your
self, and Of the credit due to you for origi-
mating the revolving turret, 70 which all
the honor belongs, and which was the CEN
tral, crowning feature Of the Monitor. e
The success achieved by the Monitor was
due solely TO the turret and her able com
,mand; and that success would have been
far more signal had the turret been mounted
on an ordinary iron-clad ship.
,JoHS Il WISsLow.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25
University of Virginia Alumni.

WARRINGTON, March 24.--ISd,tor, Critic;
! appeal to the press Of the country to help.
me ina good undertaking for Washington
city Weiwant at least one accomplished
speaker from every Alumni Association Of
the University of Virginia and one from
every State and Territory in the Union where
associations have not been formed. Here
after we will try to organize societies speed
lily, with the aid of Alumni scattered
throughout this country. Our convention
will be in session on the Goth and 27th Of
April. We cordially invite all Alumni Of
Jefrerson's famous University.
WM. d. CABELL, Chairman.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25
They Serve Alike.

When do the letters E and d perform the
same Office at the same timep When one
ends ''life" and the other begins death"
ANNIE Mob.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

One WIttiers
Is there any one funnier than Bill Nye?
Yes, Whittier.
Cannot Change.
What woman In fiction could never go IN
mourning? "The Woman In White"
A Popular, Night.
What night is popular among theatre
goersS "The Twelfth Night,n
Father of His Country. :.
What great violinist might be called the
Father Of England? Ole Bull. 5y....
The Bigeist Fish.
What man receives the homage Of all the
big fish p The Prince Of Wales. L. M.
( am tired of those slim Jokes on THE
CRITrc. Why don't some one get up one
like this:
4 Why Is The CRITIC way. ahead Of any
thing blindS Because It Co.'S with Its
I.l.'s and that is the &C. LIPS (size) of It.
~ All Here.
Whyis the surplus in the United States
Treasury like a bank official who Ia nabbed
before he gets to Canadas Because you
have got the cash here Cashier.
N. B. t..
Duluth, Mimi, March 20, 1889.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

Why is THE CRTIc like a sleepy child ?
Because It's newsy (snoozy) c. L. 8.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

torreCt hh bsuhis
WAsnISeToN, March A.-Edaor Critic:
In THE Critic of March 90 an article
appears which Ia correct in one particular
only, viz: II refers to the what Is evidently
the Women's National Press Association
and says "they are brainy, clever and most
Of them literary; but they are women for
all that" Who supposed they were not
women, ! wonder, and us for brains they
certainly possess some, as the writer so
generously afilrms. Why any one should
seize ON an item belonging strictly to the
bushes session of the association, and 30
distort its import | cannot 'surmise
Abigail Scott Duniways name was pre-
scented for membership to the w. n. p. A.
some time ago, acted on by the credentia
committee, reported fasordJly, and came
before the s0cietyto to be voted on finally.
Mrs. Duniway received the entire vote of
the association, affirming her election, with
the exception of Mrs. Lockwood's vote.
The majority decides the question, not the
minority, hence Mrs. Duniway is a member,
and decidedly brainy one, too. She edited
the Neio NOrthirest for sixteen years, and
is strong and vigorous writer. When II
comes TO business matters no association
can afford to let personal pique, prejudice
or petty antagonism exist Outside, the
members may be entire strangers II they
choose; within, fraternally united for the
good Of their association or they fail sig
nally of success
Since 1882, the w. N. p. A. has had an
organization, now with large membership
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

Look at THE cRrrIos prize conundrun promo
sltloH Ia another column. 2fy for de prize.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25
VIII Answer in Day or Two.

WAsHISGToN, ID. c., March 24.-Etitor
Critic: AS a newspaper seems to be the
channel through which most complaints or
grievances OF public nature are brought
before the people and made clear through
the apparently unlimited laboratory OF IN.
formation possessed by the editor, ! take
the liberty Of asking you to throw little
light on subject OF grayeimportance to
myself directly as well as,: L am sure, to
thousands. of others In this city. My con-
dition is that have three babies to raise
on other food than that which nature usri-
ally provides. During the summer they
are taken to the country, where I know
they get pure cows milk, but whilst In the
city the balance Of the year, how am I to
know whether the poor little innocents are
being imposed on or not? get milk from
a party who says he brings 1t from the
country and that atitiscertainly pure, but
have been fooled SO often before In the same
way that have no more confidence Inamilk-
mans veracity. than In that Of gas metre.
How can tell whether the milk is adulter-
ated or notg And can send the rascal to
jail II he really Is giving my babies chalkY
Turn your mental focus on this, please, and
tell-me what you would do were you in my
place, and how / can secure PURE MILK
Canitol Hill
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25
UNDERTAKERS.

I WILLIAM LEE
Successor to Henry Lees sons,.
= U N ID h R 7, "A * ID R =
a32 PENN AVENUE N. W,
South Side.
Branch ofiioe, 49s Maryland ave- $. W.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25
Duluth, MINI, March 20, lss


What is the difference between two-cent
postage stamp and lazy horses One you
lick it to make 1t stick, the other to go.
c. p. r.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

Why is George Washington like o fgl
In Dublin Both are: patriots. A.,A,
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

What is a boycott A cradle.
The Perennial Maid.
Why has a chambermaid more lives than
a cat' Because she returns t2 dust every
morning.
Gains Wife. .
Who was Gains wife9 Adams daughter
in-law. J.R.J.,
Twenty-second street northwest.
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25

Ohio Oflice-seeker: Those Indianians fare
well at the hands of Mr.. Harrison, don't
theyS
Illinois o. S. lin deep disgusD: Well,
there amt much farewell about IL. It's
ostly show d'y doY come in and sit down.n
The Washington critic., 1889-03-25
THE PEOPLES COLUMN.

Communications on any matter OF current
interest will he cheerfully printed in TINS
CniTIc under this head. Letters should in all
cases be as brief as possible.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-06-04
PERSONALS.

The Poet Freebooter, Adam Smith, paid $3.50
for his new road horse.
George Bowly, the real estate dealer, is an artist
of merit.
Sergeant Murphy, the old veteran, is the only
red haired man on the present panel of jurors.
Every one connected with the ST. Nicholas
Church has h'word of praise to bestow upon the
Rev. Father Weyland for the successful manner
in which he has managed it.
Prof. Abbey win open his either school at Hen
kel's Casino next Monday evening. He will be
assisted by pupils from the New York either
schools. t
Superintendent Charles Haskins reports that
the So, 500, 900 raised by the English syndicate to
push the Hudson River Tunnel project is at
hand.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-06-04
ROBERT P. PORTER ASKS AID.

He Wants the Physicians to Help Him
Out with the Census.
The following two letters explain them
selves. They have just been received at
this Office
To the Editor Of the Jersey City Neys:-
The publication in your valuable paper of the
accompanying letter to the medical profession
will aid the Census Office In one Of its most i'm
portant and difficult Investigations. This is all
volunteer work on the part of the physician, and
any assistance you may give win help a most i'm
portant branch Of statistical enquiry.
ROBERT P. Porter,
superintendent of Census.
WASHINGTON, D. c., May 1, 1885.
To the Medical Profession
The various medical associations and the med
ical profession will be glad to learn that DR.. John
S. Billings, Surgeon Y s. Army, has consented to
take charge of the Report on the Mortality and
Vital Statistics of the United States as returned
by the Eleventh Census.
AS the United States has no system of registra-
ton of vital statistics, such as is relied tpon bv
other civilized nations for the purpose of ascer-
tanning the actual movement OF population, our
census affords the only opportunity of obtaining
near an approximate estimate Of the birth and
death rates of much the larger part Of the coun-
try, which is entirely unproyided with any salts.
factory system of State and municipal registra-
ton.
In view of this the Census Office. during the
month Of May this year, will issue to the medical
profession throughout the country s.Physician's
Registers" for the purpose of obtaining more ac-
curate returns OF deaths than it is possible for
the eiltmerators to make. 1t is earnestly hoped
that physicians in every part of the country win
cooperate with the Census Office In this import
ant work. The record should be kept from June
l, 1889, to May 81, 1890. Nearly 26,00O of these
registration books were filed up and returned to
the office in 1880, and nearly all Of them used for
statistical purposes. 1t Is hoped that double this
number will be obtained for the Eleventh Census.
Physicians not receiving registers can Obtain
them by sending their names and addresses to
the Census Ofice, and, with the register, an on
cial envelope which requires no stamp will be
provided for theirreturn to Washington.
II an medical and surgical practitioners
throughout the country will lend their ajd. IN
mortality and vital statistics of the Eleventh
census will be more comprehensive and COMPLETED
than they have ever been. Every physician
should take a personal pride In having this report
as full and accurate as II is possible to make II
It is hereby promised that ali information OBJ
tanned through this source shall be held stricflv
confidential. RoBEKr p. PoRTsR.
Superintendent Of Census.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-06-04

drawn work edges worked with the
same flowers, is very ornamental.
The popular pincushion of the mo-
lnent is one of the not too small white
enameiled grandfathers' chairs, up
holstered in white and gold figured
mummy cloth, with small yellow satin
bows at the
The new shaving paper balls, which
are larger than cocoanuts and made OF
yellow or other colored tissue paper,
each separate piece being folded and
secured in the middle, are so very
decorative when hung on the gas fix
ture by narrow ribbons of the same
color that 1t would be quite too dread
ful for any man to think of using the
paper.
The Anglomaniacs are all busy o
collecting handsome tea caddies. Mr..
Harry LIE Grand Cannon may be con-
sldered the knight of the tea caddy,
for with him was left the charge of
one OF these elaborate articles j n silver
hlied with souclrong at the recent
series OF suburban afternoon teas.
HoRsERADIsH o FREcKLEs.
Horseradish is in demand by young
ladies who are already located at sum
iner resorts. Ihey keep a cup OF IL
mixed with sour milk which they APP
ply as often as possible to their faces,
as 1T is thought to remove ffeckles and
tan.
In a week or two the large Cana
dian thistIes win be OF full size. These
are in great demand. They are col
lected and when the outer green COW
er1ng is removed the purple is carefully
pulled out and they are hung up On a
thread TO dry. They are punched and
secured to squares or circles of plush
covered pasteboard and are equally
pretty hung in country or city.
Thelatest English fad in note paper
is to have it watered and of a dark
amber or coppery shade. 1t looks
like watered ribbon and white ink is
used in writing on it.
Metal is often now substituted for
cardboard ia bookbinding. ~
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-06-04
ADJUSTMENTS.

Daniel Sully opened his engagement at
Jacobs Hoboken Theatre to a crowded
house last night. There is fun in every
sentence of the comedy. Between the
acts one tries to recover from his mirth,
but it is only to laugh louder than ever in
the mex act, and when the play is over
there is an aching sensation about the
ribs. Dan Sully as Mike Nolan, Esq, the
honest man, is a master of his art, but
vey as Jimmy Nolan, the bad boy. They
are supported by an excellent company.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-06-04

"a M.
The Union Pioneer Association held its
annual picnic last night at Kroebel's
Park. Between two and three hundred
young people attended, all of whom en-
joyed themselves immensely. The man
ayers wore elaborate badges.
The Union Pioneer is an association of
young republicans, who are excellently
organized. They were joined last night
by members of the Saffen Battery, of
Brooklyn, and the Pioneers, of Hoboken.
Floor Manager C. H. Stuhr, Jr., with Miss
Lena Lendel, led the grand march, and
Assistant Floor Manager III. w. Reder
was accompanied by Miss Annie Meyer.
Prominent among the participants were
President j. S. Leroy, Vice President G.
Fauikhaber, Recording Secretary II.
Thielman Ia hustler for the interest of
the association0, Financial Secretary G.
w. Bell, Treasurer A. j. Madru, Sergeant
alarms w. Walker, G. Breaky, Miss
Mamie Whales, +; Hoffman, Miss Kittie
Murphy, Mr.. and Mrs: I. Boyer, a. H.
Ostheimer, Nj. and Mrs. T. Fitz, Mr.. Chas.
Walker, Messrs. A. Sindram, w. Lewis,
w. Morgan, E. Allen, Miss Jennie
Thompson, Messrs. E. Allen, E. Van
West, MI. A. Wacker, Mr.. Charles Hoff-
man, Miss Schneider, Messrs. II. J. Cal
houn, F. Hoffman, c. Walker, Al. Mad
ris, Charlie, Blackburn, Mr.. and Mrs.
John Collins, Mi. and Mrs. Charles
Dezert, Nh. A. Green, Mr.. J. r. Clock, Miss
Katie Bergen, MI. o. 10th and sister, Mr.
James Parker, Mr.. John Schaefer, Mr.. J.
Reuter-, Miss Smith, Nh. Henry Reuter-,
Mr.. and Mrs. j.. G. Weishaupt, Mr.. and
Mrs. Julius Boyer, Mr.. e. Van Nest, Miss
Jennie Thorn.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-06-04

IN enjoyable entertainment and basket
party was given last evening at Bethesda
Hall, on Gregory street, by the members
of Garfield Division, Sons of Temperance.
A very interesting programme was pre-
sented, and the party was made up of an
agreeable set of ladies and gentlemen,
who spent several hours in a delightful
manner. t
Mr.. George Smith sang an admirable
solo, and Mr.. Joseph Lawson favored the
party with a numb sr of humorous songs
and Rotations. He was accompanied by
Mr.. Frank Coggil. Mr.. Joseph Pfllson
recited; so did Mr.. j.. holland. Worthy
Patriarch w. A. Greenwood made an TX
cellent address, in which he set forth the
advantages of membership. Little Mary
Burke recited "a Visit to Sunderland"
and Mamie Richards, Little Miss Mid
get" Messrs. James More and Rob
Mcdonnell assisted in carrying out the
programme, and a number of ladies len
valuable aid
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-06-04
PLEASANT SOCIAL EVENTS.

Prizes at st. Nicholas Church Fair
A Basket Party.
The st. Nicholas Church fair, which
has been in progress at Kessler's for the
past t y o weeks, closes tonight. So great
is the competition between the good
ladies having charge of the various
booths, their reticence prevents even a
fair estimate of what the profits will be;
but the guesses of several snrewd calcula-
tors place the amount somewhere between
81, 800 and s 5000.
Father Weyland and his co-workers
haye been ~tireless in their efforts, yet
there are no signs of WEAKNESS. All is
now excitement and attention is centered
mainly upon the wheel of fortune, which
selects the lucky winners of the, many
handsome and costly articles which are at
the disposal of chance. A humble of arti-
cles were sold last night at auction and
the others will be disposed of this even
ing.
between Father Weyland and the church
trustees for a gold-headed cane, aroused
most interest. But Father Weyland won
the cane,
Prior to the auction this evening the
MARK Quartette, Messrs. Barnes, Smith,
Bracelet and Hansen, the Comic Three,
Barnes Brothers and Bracheli, and Lewis
Morris, a favorite song and dance man,
will entertain the crowd. The stage per-
Torrance viii be under the charge of
Mr.. C. j. Hansen. Following is a list of
winners up to ten O'Clock last evening"
Mr.. John Kern, the married mems gold watch.
Frank Baunher, young men, OF st. Aloysius,
Society's gold watch.
Miss Maggie Filler, young ladies' gold watch.
Miss Mamie Schmitt, girls watch.
w. s.. Niehorster, shot gun; china tea set, fifty
Ms. N. 8. Niehorster, basket OF flowers.
Mr.. Richard Niehorster, lemonade set.
Father Weyland, church model, encased in
glass.
butter dish. .
Mrs. Eckers, large and handsomely framed
picture, s'The Infant Jesus" with garments OF
real satin instead of paint.
Barbarna Kraht, .wreathed cross OF white wax
under glass globe.
Mrs. Martin Krahn, gold ring with turquoise,
ruby and pearl settings. &M&
Mrs. Schmitt, blue, silk dress pattern.
Mrs. P. s. Bonner, black MORE antique silk
dress pattern.
Mrs. John Leight, gold watch; Miss Annie
Klink, altar of the Blessed Virgin.
Mrs. Katie Schneider. n~ickelplated clock.
MI. Appel, horn-iegged table.
John Sommer, plush cushion.
Mr.. Dimpei, gold ring.
Philip Liebert, silver watch.
Mrs. Keller, plush dfshfon,
Mrs. Katharine, Bonner, figure of the Virgin
Mary encased IN gilt and satin.
Mi. Joseph WiecAarf, plush ALBUM "a
Frank Smith, fancy carriage cover.
Tina Spitxnager, embroidered flannel petticoat.
Mrs. Piigge, toilet set.
Miss Jennie Nastefcrd, Handsomely cushioned
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-06-04
About Women

Miss Maggie Gillespie will go China
rs a missionary in August.
Mrs. Nicholson and her son Edward,
of West Hamilton place, have been in
New Hampshire several weeks. They
will return this week.
Miss Emma Woodruff, of st. Paul's
avenue, is rapidly recovering from a
long illness.
Miss Alice Dureli, of Palisade We
nue., win spend the summer at Hamp-
ton Beach, Mass.
Mrs. E. s. Curry, of Schenectady, is
visiting Mrs. John Britton, of Bram-
hall avenue.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-06-04
chrIstenlng Young Mr.. nraokner.

The christening of Coroner Brackner's
fve-weeks-old son was the occasion of a
pleasant gathering after the ceremony at
the Coroner's residence, No. 60 Franklin
street, Sunday evening. Mr.. f. Arnault,
a prominent New York wine merchant,
was godfather, and Mrs. Evurard, of New
York, was godmother. The christening
was performed at st. PauI's Church by
the Rev. Father Quinn. The church was
crowded with those attending vespers, and
many wondered who were going to be
married. Those who took an active part
in the after celebration were Mrs. William
Mccarthy and her daughter, Mrs. Thomas
Cayanagh, Mr.. and Mrs. Evurard, of New
York; Mr. and Mrs, J. Vo1k and daughters,
Mr.. and Mrs, Arnault and family, of New
York; Mr.. and Mrs. Albers, and a num-
Der of the Coroner's neighbors.