New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-12-08
THE TALK or THE DAY.
HOW THANKFUL WE SHOULD BE.

HOW THANKFUL WE SHOULD BE
II Gotham gets the next Worlds Fair,
How thankful we should be;
Though dear Chicago tore her hair.
Yet thankful could we be.
If honest dock control found,
If those "darned wires" were underground
And all our pavements clean and sound.
How thankful should be.
If ice would never fill the slips,
How thankful should be;
II Wall Street men would give straight tips.
How thankful we should be.
II New-York pavements would stay down,
II swcethears' fathers would rot frown.
II writing rhymes would bring renown.
How thankful we should be.
If Broadway cars would run on time-
How thankful should be;
II that great street were not all slime,
How thankful should be.
II subway men would push their work.
II death did not IN dead wires lurk
II things would right themselves with jerk,
How thankful we should be.
The Origin of Cyclones-Agnostic (argumentativey)
You say that you believe in the immediate efficacy
Christian Friend (frmly)-I do.
Agnostic-Wel-Now suppose mother kneels down
and prays ervently for iayorns winds 10 blow her
prays for winds to blow her sons ship safe into
same course do YOU mean TO tell me that both these
PRAYERS can he answered satisfactorily
Istc s1iH Row tfrumphantly-wh Of course, pa
don't YOU SEQ That's what makes so many cyclones
Smith, Gray Co.'S Monthly.
Says a railroad man. A passenger engine averages
sixty pounds of coal to the mile, and travels about
SO 600 miles per year. while freight engine averages
ninety pounds of coal TO the mile and makes about
$4,000 miles per year, while yard engines burn less
Freight en,ines travel much slower than passengers
and therefore burn more coal per mile Inc largest
mileage made in 1883 by a passenger engine was
81 900 miles, and by freight engine $4,000 miles,
lie Knew The Barber Was Around Barber-Razar
pull sab! ,..o,
Barber with q gratihed smile-Oh, yes sab nearly
fru. sab. = Didn't you feel me co,...,o. Voc, y
thought you was giving my face shampoo-lIexaS
SiftingS.
Mr. John c. Built the eminent lawyer of Phiadel-
pha has lust finished the draft of the largest mortgage
ever given in this countryside indenture of the
Northern Pacific Railroad for Si6o,OOOOOO To Mr..
Built was also entrusted the drafting Of the Reading
300, 100000 general mortgage. three preference
mortgages aggregating $6500O,0O0 and the 3d.
600 600 Norfolk and Western blanket mortgage In
this particular line of work Mr. Built is said TO stand
at tho head of his profession
Let Boston have her beans,
Her Emersonian themes
And with welghty philosophic questions grapple
But we III Phladelph,
Dislntegrate the wealth
That turks within our and only scrapple
philadelphia Inquirer
A southern Bourbon has proved to his salts
faction that some great disaster has always preceded
or followed the inauguration OF Republican Presi-
dent while no such phenomenon has ever attended
tho inauguration OF Democratic President OF
course not; the Inauguration itself was sufficient
disaster.
Customer-A cigar, please Are these good
Dealer-1hey're the kind | smoke my self
brand Won can't afford 10 smoke yoursef-( Boston
Transcript
Here Is a woman's criticism OF Ibsens Dolls
House.; Nora is unprinepled little liar IN
Act l. and can't what claim she has to such
high moral plane In Act Ill And where's her du'S
her children 10 walk OF In the she does for the
most ordinary little tin. There's no man living VINO
would do any differently or bottor than Thorwaid did