The Arkansaw traveler., 1889-11-09
MR. Fooo ON MArRIMoNY.

married man for nearly twenty years. Yes, nearly twenty years of unalloyed misery have rolled over my head, and, for a wonder, still live to tell the tale. To there is no interest in the discussion of the question, "Is Marriage A Failure?" Marriage may or may not be a failure but, in any event, it Is more than either It Is Fate. That's what it Is nothing more, nothing less. don't say that it is Inevitable fate, for tn A lew lucky dogs that somehow or other manage to escape 1t; but to nine out of every ten 1t Is fate; like death and taxes, 1t Is the common lot of humanity. can look back and see just how 1t is. I can also appreciate to the fullest extent just what sap headed chump I was in the days when I was spooning around among the girls. My old father, peace to his ashes, used to tell me how 1t would be; he begged me to go slow, and not 10 be in such hurry to get married. "Phin, my boy" he would say, "gAls arc nice enough to go a-courtin' with, but when 1t comes to marvin of 'em, why, my advice is, don't, that's all" Like most boys who have just reached their twenties, I thought pap was a fool, and SO sailed in and got married in less than week after I had arrived at my twenty first birthday. When I brought my wife home, father didn't say much, but he looked as though he'd about as soon seen me buried.
 When we went to the barn to put up the horses,
 
 you'll have to set on the blister. hope you have not made & mistake. If you have, it's a thunderin' sight more serious a matter than you think it is' I laughed at the old fellow and told him was the proudest and happiest man in the world. "Pap," said I, "cAnt you think back and remember just how you felt when you were first mArried1 Have you forgotten your own counting days?"
 Not by blamed sight" he answered, "and it is NL- led since was married, that makes inc anxious about you"
 Well, knew that he and mother had not always got along just well they might, but felt sure that nothing like that could ever come between me and Barbara. But was woefully mistaken. had not been married year. either, before discovered that my wife was bent on ruling the roost. Natu- rally kicked, and kicked vigorously, but must say that, after all, 1t was to little purpose You see a woman has so many ways of doing thing that you are never fully prepared to combat her. Sometimes she tries a tongue flashing, then again she will come the weeping act, and another time, when you are wholly unsuspecting that she has any ulerior designs, she comes around you, all smiles and good words, and you foored before you know it.
 suppose every married man has, at some time or other, tried to reason with his wife in other words, to argue question with her; but have yet to hear of a single instance where he ever complished any thing It sometimes, as in my own case, takes long time to learn these things, but later he gets it through his cranium.
 When a fellow enters into tho married state he doesn't realize that he is surrendering forever & great many privileges that & single man he had always enjoyed. For instance, before I married Barbara, was unaccustomed to being asked every time went out of an evening where was going, what for, when would be back, etc. Nor, when did return, there anyone sitting up in tears, and in 8 night gown, waiting for me- and then to give me q hlozing that lasted nnfil almosf day