Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-06-07
Mr.. Bowser Cleans House.

ltItSllllS IlpHl, lIIiS NtldIlOuolN 'hloii-
icled in the Detroit Free Press by the
sympathetic partner of his joys and
sorrows:
What did those two colored wo-
men want?n inquired Mr.. Bowser as
he came in the other evening just as
the individuals referred to were pass
ing out
They called to see when | would
be ready for Them
How ready?'
1T is spring, you know"
well, what has spring, you know,
got to do with two colored women?'
Il have got to wash few windows
and take up a carpet or two
House cleaning?'
NO, not exactly, but then"
See here, Mrs Bowser, this thing
has got to stop right here and now.
Because some 200 years ago some old
cranky house-keeper in New England
felt obliged to rip and tear and upset
the house for two or three weeks in
April, all you women of to-day feel
obliged to keep up the custom"
But everybody cleans house more
or less.
Cant help that I'm not going to
have everything topsy turvey around
here for the next three weeks. That
will be the result if you put two wo-
men at work. They will spin out the
job as long as possible
1T won't take over u week.
"A week! 1t shouldn't take one
day. can go at it and do all the
cleaning necessary in one hour
| didn't say anything further until
after supper. Unfortunately for me
one of the women returned to ask
about a matter she bad forgotten,
and Mr. Bowser saw her and said
Are you one of the women who are
going to clean house herey'
Eyes, sah.n
Excuse Inc, but | don't believe it!
If there's any cleaning to be done I'll
do it myself You needn't put in an
appearance here tomorrow nor any
other day"
An yous gwine to clean house?"
she asked in surprise.
Il am. ! know it does not belong
to mans state, but | have young
and inexperienced wife who is easily
imposed on, and / am going to prove
to her that this house-cleaning busi-
ness is all fraud
Mr.. Bowser," | said, as he return
ed to the sitting room, didn't you
have an experience last spring?''
"Yes, ma'am, | experienced this
house from top to bottom in just two
hours, and it still remains the clean
est house in Detroit. have nothing
particular to do tomorrow, and shall
take hold
II can't help you any"
when | want your valuable assist
ance, | will ask for it, Mrs. Bowser.
As | ain feeling in good spirits this
evening, might as well begin on that
coal stove. I'll wrestle it out into the
back hall, ready to go to the barn in
the morning"
went upstairs as he pulled off his
coat and spit on his hands. | knew
Just what muss he'd make and did
not want to be there 10 see. In few
minutes | heard the clatter Of the
stove-pipe, as four or five lengths
bounced around on the floor, and
three minutes later there was wild
yell for help. | ran down just as the
girl got in from the kitchen. Mr.
Bowser was lying on his back on the
floor and the stove was lying OH Mr.
Bowser He was almost black i'll the
face as he gasped:
Take him ofT-take the blamed
thing off of me!'
The girl and | succeeded in lifting it
high enough for him to roll out, and
he sat up and groaned and swore and
threatened dire things
Il was afraid il would be too much
for you," | said as | offered him a wet
towel
oh, you were. How kind of you!
You are disappointed because the in
fernal thing didn't knock the life out
of mer'
i went upstairs and rested awhile.
Then | heard him moving the furni-
ture about, and by and by he came
up TO say:
Il want some salt to put on the car
pet before l sweep"
But that carpet must come up, Mr..
Bowser. It's been down two years"
That's all nonsense! Mother new
er lifted carpet until il was worn
out. Where's the saltl''
But the curtains must come down,
the woodwork lie rubbed with damp
cloth, the windows washed, and
And the roof of the house raised
ten feet, of course. One would think
we'd had smallpox in the house. I'll
get the step-ladder and take the car.