The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-04
BRIGHT BITS.

BEGGAR (reading the news from Franco
How thankful / ought to be that l own no
shares in the Panama canal-FItegende BlGt-
ter.
D4sHER-I hope you don't object to my
Rev. sir Mylde-N-not in the least, if-you
don't object to my being sick.-Pict Ne Up.
For MAN AND BEAsr.-Weary Rsveler-Bless
me- p'iiceman this seat is very ,mpshl
Policeman-Yes, sir; it probably is moist-as
you've sat in drinking -trough.-Fttn
THE poor know nothing of the trials of the
rich" Perhaps not. But if the poor read the
newspapers. they know that great many of
the rich escape protracted and painful trials by
going to Canada NOrriSto0n Herald.
HE HADN'T THOUGHT OF Thar don't know
what has got into the papers lately They
haven't any news.
All, yes, but you know no news is good news.
The papers are bracing up. ''-Hdrper's Bazaar.
ALMOST HINT.-Boarder Jones-"Mrs Flap
jack, can't you put stop to your two daughters
playing four handed at the piano?n
Mrs. Flapiack-''Why don't you marry one of
them? That will put stop TO it right Off
From the German, IN Teras Siftings
MRS Robinson was entertaining some ladies
at a select little O'Clock tea, and Bobby, who
had been exceptionally well behaved, was in
high feather.
Ma, he said, as cake was being handed
round, may have same tongue, please?'
There isn't any tongue Bobby;
pa say there would be lots of it.'-London
Ttd- sits.
WINKs-I suppose you are engaged to that
charming typewriter girl of yours? She's been
with you long time, and I've noticed lately you
seemed pretty well gone on her.
Jinks (sadly)-N-O, she-she won't have me.
You have proposed and been reiected?n
Yes. You see, during my successive engage
ments to Miss De Pink, and Miss De Sweet, and
Miss Pretty dictated all my love letters to her,
and it appears she's sort of lost confidence in
me. Philadelphia Record.
A CERTAIN POLITICIAN, holding office now in
Washington. comes from Gilead, -. and he is
proud Of his native town. 1t is told of him that
on one occasion visiting clergyman preached
in the village church, and during the course of
his remarks he exclaimed
us there no balm IN Gead?"
Mr. Blank Jumped to his feet at once.
"Of course there is, - he sung out to the hor-
ror of the congregation, but you can't get it on
Sunday Washington Critic.
ONE of the most striking pictures in the
Verestchagin collection at the art institute is
THE Forgotten Soldier" 1t represents bit Of
rough country, some sky and wacthful vul-
ture.
But where is the soldier?" asked visitor the
other day. Il can't see how the name of this
picture can be made TO fit it. -
why, the name is appropriate, of course, 9"
said the man. who knew all about art. The
picture is called The Forgotten Soldier because
the artist forgot to put the soldier in."-Chi-
cdgo NeiUS
BANKER RosENTHAL directed his book keeper
to address pretty rough letter to Baron X
who had promised several times to pay what he
owed, but he had neglected to do So When
the letter was written it did not suit Banker
Rosenthal, who is very excitable, so the latter
hastily pennad the following: My Dear Baron
x: Who was it that promised to pay up on
Jan. /? YOU my dear baron. you are the man
Who was it that promised then to settle on
March /? You. my dear Baron. Who is it that
didn't settle on March 1? You, my dear baron.
Who is it, then, who has broken his word twice
and is an unmitigated scoundrel! Your obedi-
ent servant, MosE RosENTHAL. From the Ger
man, in Texas SiftingS.