The Arizona sentinel., 1889-07-13
AN ADAPTIVE SPEED.
A Typographical Blacksmith's BlundeI
 and Its Consequences.

A TYpORrapnlcdL A1ldCkSmiCnS
 and Its Consequences
 I inserted the following advertise ment in our village paper the other day:
 "ANTED-A small house for the season. w Apply, etc.
 and have had great deal of soul- twisting sport out of it. The compos- itor, who works in bait-factory five days in the week, performed a notable feat in recreation. by making a ''horse" out of a ''house," and I've been holding Tattersalrs reception ever since.
 Before the paper was printed, the top of torn livery stable bill-head was handed in to me one evening, and following this informal card came the proprietor hiruself. Ere I could ex- plain that it was chalet and not palfrey that wanted, he had preached this enticing sermon:
 ''One r tn Mirrors proof-sheets blowed out tn winder, an seen into it that you wanted small hoss I've got one that's smaller than Uncle Tobe Benham, an he's small 'nough t feed seed catalogues to a shoat. Small? Why, I let her out t other day in village cart to old Miss Welkin an she didn't know more'n t set right plum over tn axle. When that fat tarrier of hern jumped in behind, what does tn hull outfit do but turn back han spring, an tn hoss, she came down flat on her saddle jest tn opposite of where she was, an Miss Welkin shut up like deer-knife tween tn seat an tn gutter"
 ventured to hint that 1 had no idea of buying a horse, but the dealer evil dently thought this mere subterfuge to knock him down on price, and he kept right on:
 You needn't be 'fraid that she's too small, though" he said. She's tn knowin'est thing you ever see.
 'Tve got three sets of harness fer her, each on lem one size bigger than t other. When I let her out to MT. Freeson, the parson, she knows he's kinder dign'i an she draws her. self up, an stan's on tip-toes, an swells out, so's have t put on num- Der one.
 ''Then when they's a funeral, an things is kinder av'rage all round, she's what yer call nommal, an num- Der two goes; but when Sile Dyer hires her t let his riclety boy go up t Ken sico for cider, you'd orter see her! She sort'r shrinks all up, an draws her legs in, an coughs jest as natral as c'nsumption.
 ''Jest think how handy she'd be for you round tn place She I'll eat any thin. Brigand, tlf butcher, tells me that you always run a bit short toward tn last of the week. That $ tn time she Il haul in, an be contented with p'tater-skins an old curl-papers. Then when things gifts better, an you have a fair dinner, she Il put on her nex' size, an 'dapt herself t what lobster salad an fixins you have left over; an Mondays after tn Sunday dinner she Il expand, an you won't have t have no refuse carts a-comin' inter tn yard. She $ sound an kind, Mister Gotman, an afraid of nothin'"
 Here was loop-hole of escape, and 1 crawled through.
 ''If 1 bought horse" whispered, GG1 CbO11ld 1ilxa ono i1,ct 1ilya UOi,pc. hut that last clause rather decides me not to make trade. As my wife and chil- dren would probably drive it more than I should (here edged him toward the door), l should have to insist on an animal that is not afraid of any thing"
 That's what 1 mean," he walled; but I pushed him out on the front porch and locked the door. Puck.