davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
An Unavailable Vacancy.

A naval officer tells good story on
a certain retired admiral. He was a
chronic applicant, and as he was not
tho ught to posses sufficient wit, taleat
or ability 70 dt him for any responsible
place, his wants were seldom honored
with the giving. lie apple for every
thing in sight sometimes for two or
three things at once, and as nc was
often on waiting orders around Wash
ington he had good opportunities for
pushing his claims. lie smeit vacancies
far aheal, and would often apply for
places months ahead of time. Olce the
post of surgeon general was vacant, but
not being doctor the admiral was
barred out. lie was sitting in one OF
the navy department rooms one day
reading, hidden by desk, when pass
ing officer stopped to chat with the
clerk who abode there.
"Who's to be made surgeon general3'
he asked loosely.
"Old Admiral -, of course" was
the half laughing reply of the clerk,
Ignorant Of the presence behind him.
"By Jove!" cried that person him
self, springing to his feet. ''You don't
mean it. When was il done?'
1t took some time to convince him
that he had not been made a surgeon
general, despite his failure to make ap-
plication.
Ol another occasion he was chatting
with brother officer at the navy yard,
digesting the news of tho day, which
the other read out piccemcal from a
newspaper. Suddenly the reader started
and lowered his paper.
Heavens and earth T. he exclaimed to
his stsrtlea US ~ :. LIKES nsssEa;,zs~a. -eey
for you at lastF'
"What is it?" was the excited re-
sponsc. "Quick, tell mo what it isl
"The Empress of Russia is dead, ;"
the officer managed to calculate between
his shrieks of laughter.
The disgusted wanter never survive
the title of 'the Empress. - Washington
Star.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
An Ornamental Lamp Shddc.

The fancy lamp-shades, if at all
pretty, are so expensive to purchase,
that VIC all welcome a new design. A
fourtecn-years-old girl of our acquaint-
ancc has just made very cheap and
effective one. Buy wire frame, OF the
size to Gt your lamp, and cover it with
coarse milliner's net. Take piece oil
imitation lace of any pretty design, and
measure loosely around the bottom oil
the frame the width of the lace from
the bottom. Then allow about quar'
fer of this for fullncss, and gather ii
slightly on piece of ribbon OF such
length as will fit snugly around tho
frame at this point. The ribbon is then
gathered to fit the top Of the frame'
a narrow piece of lace fulled around to |,
stand up. A bow of ribbon is placed
at the side, and fringe of embroidery
TX finishes the lace at the bottom
american Agrieulyist.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
~ The Flood Cure for Da1TnTsss..-

In a letter received by DR.. NJ. Mar
bury, residing at the corner of Indo-
pcndence avenue and Locust street, this
city, is related an incident which is in
deed marvellous, and, coming directly
as it does, is beyond all doubt true.
The letter is from Mr.. Frank Marbury,
a cousin of DR.. Marbury, who is just re-
covering from frightful experience in
the Johnstown flood. For seven long
hours he battled with the waters for his
life. Every hour seemed a day, but at
last he was re scued several miles from
the place where the hotel had stood.
The strang, part of the story is yet
to come. Mr.. Mrbury is 3S years OF
age, and for 12 years he had been en-
tirely bald, and the top Of his head had
become quite popular with the flies as
summer resort. He had used the won
derfuI hair restoratives people read
about in the hopes Of starting the hair,
but all to no purpose; it refused to
grow. Two days after the food he no.
ticcd downy substance all over the
hitherto bald head As time passed the
down became hair, which grew remark
ably fast and now has reached the
lcngth Of ono inch all over his head.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
How EgyptIans Mnier thnlr croB.

The summers in Egypt, in Syria anil
ia Asia Miner are almost rainlcss. In
such climates the necessity Of irrigation
is obvious, and the loss of the ancient
means of furnishing it helps to cxplain
the diminished fertility Of most of the
countries in question. In Egypt cvapor-
alton and ab'orbtlon by the earth are 80
rapid that all annual crop, require irri.
cation during the whole period Of their
growth. As fast as the water retires by
the subsistence of the annual inundation
the sce1 is sown upon the still moist,
uncovered roll, and irrigation begins at
once. Upon the Nile to. day, Just as it
was thousands Of years ago, one still
hears the crclking Of the water wheels
through tho whole night, while
the poorer cultivators occasionally
ply the simp'e shadoof," or
bucket and sweep laboriously raising
the water from trough to trough by IS
many as six or seven stages when the
water is low. The BUCKET is of flexible
leather, with a stiff rim, and is emptcd
into the trough, not by invcrting it like
a wooden bucket, but by Iutting the
hand bcnea'h and Pashing the bottom
up till the water all runs out over the
br'm, or in other words by turning the
vessel inside out The quantity of
water thus Withdrawn from the Nile is
enormous. Most of this is evaporatcd
directly from the surface or the super.
fetal strata, but some moisture perco-
lates down and oozes through the
banks into the river again while a larger
quantity sinks till it joins the slow cur
rent Of inftration by which the Nile
water pcrvade5 the earth of tho valley
to tie distance at some points, of not
less than fly miles.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
The Biggest Bicycle.

Jack Simpson, who runs lodging
house and restaurant in Bangor, Ne,
owns a bicycle which he declares is the
largest in the worll. This wheel IS Sc
inches in diameter. Simpson is an Eng
lishman, and for many years travelled
with circuses aud other shows, having
been one of the three "Dacoma
Brothers," famous a dozen years ago
for their aerial bicycle performances.
They gave exhibitions at the Crystal Pal
ace, London, at the Cirque Fernando,
Paris, and at other amusement centers
in Europe and the United States. On
one occasion Simpson gave an exhibit
tiou on his big wheel on a wire suspend
ed so feet above the water at Rocky
river, Ohio, and it was called a very
daring performance. The big wheel,
which has been around the world, was
butt at Birmingham, England, at cost
of 5000, and although its diameter Is
so great, a double system of pedal
cranks enables common cycler TO ride
it, Chicago Herald.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04

After reading all the accounts of the
inlercs ing experiments lately performed
on the famous Sally" / am persuaded
the following incident may not be with
out certain interest 10 some readers Of
Nature:
About two wees ago the cat of a
dairyman in this ne ghborhood gave
birth to threo kittens. N xt day one
Of them was removed, during the moth
cr's absence, anil drowned. On return
ing from fora 5ing expedition, and
die ycring her los, puss immcdiately y
set out in s.arch. presumably, of the
missing one. All her efforts in this di-
rcction, Of course, proved fruitlcjs; but
evidently determined to at least make
up the right number, she did so, curl
ously enough, by carrying off, from its
nest close By, young hare, not more
than week old. This she is at present
sucking side by side with her own kit
tens. In view Of these facts the above
question very naturally suggests itself.
-NdtWe.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
HUMOROUS.

A police court might we'll be called
fine institution.
A horse may pull with all his might,
bu. never with his name.
A knotty problcm-Tho highest pos
sible speed for ocean vessels.
The electrician is a good soldier. He
knows how to charge battery.
When the barber talks too much, his
stories are generally illustrated with
cuts.
Vlsitor-Why do you call your dairy
"India Rabberl' Farmer-Bocause it
has such a good spring.
Maa s have seven ages, but
woman after she reaches a certain point
ha; bat one She sticks to that for the
remainder of her life.
Bcggar-A thousand thanks, my good
sir, for the splendid coat you have given
me; but l cannot wear it. 1t would
ruin my business-not a soul would give
me farthing
The urchin sadly now puts by
His lines and hooks
Aud, with deep, long-drawn sigh,
Takes up his books.
One grade meaner than the man who
never gives up his seat to a lady in the
horse car is the follow who punches the
I snatf %; across INC aisfe and scffs him
TO stand up and let the lady sit down.
"A floating newspaper paragraph says
that lady, aged so, has just been TAX
ing piano lessons. EIcn the old and
feeble can get square with their neigh
bors when they go about it right
The dentists daughter hears her
father approaching: Goa dear, Edward.
here comes my father. If he should find
us together hero VIC are lost. Oh, he is
coming! You will have either to ask
for my hand-or let him pull out tooth
for you.
Scene, the garden of country villa.
-Passcrby at the gate; Gardener,
what is the matter up at the house
that terrible scrccchinga' Gardener
putting hi, hand to his ear to listen):
'Ican't make out exactly. Either the
lady is practising singing, or some vile
animal has got into the hen-house."
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04

Mr. Brigham, the dyer, of Orlando,
Florida, hls beautiful and Intelligent
little dog, to whom he is very much at
tached. He also has hen. Not long
ago that hen Matched some chickens,
BY some incomprehensible mental pro-
cess that l.tttc dog imagined that she
was the mother OF the chic ems, and she
could not have been more alfectionate
to q litter Of her own puppies than shc
was toward the little chicks. She cud-
dies and fondlcs them every day, and
attempts to defend them from all in
truders. When taken away from the
brood she whines constantly, and when
released at onc3 goes back to them.
The hen is completely nonpluscd, and
Mr.. Brigham is almost as badly puzzled.
The little dog and the chicks arc the
only ones who seem TO understand the
situation. St Louis Times Democrat.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04

While yet the tagging Summer lifts the glo"
OF her glad vintige, pledging all whs
drink
A reign that's endless, at the beaker''
brink
The bugles Of the Autumn blow and blow.
50 doth the leaguered Summer, startled,
turn
To see the traitor maple, ahame,
And as though hiding a r5Tentant shame,
The cheeks Of her disloyal ivies burn.
Then all a1own the hi yhways far and near,
The goldea-rol and asters swift unfold
Basiegng banners, mingled blus and goll
Till stfaightway smitten with a sudden
fear,
Fen as she strives to arm her 'gainst the
foe,
Again the windy bugles blow and blow.
Lucy =. TWH in Harpers Weekly
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
NO. "a.
The Stage Coach,

furnished and battered and old
Heartlessly hidden away,
Left to the moth and the mold,
Darkness and dust and decay.
This was tho pride of its day.
Now all its glory is o er-
Faded and vanished for aye;
Gone are the driver and fourl
How shall its story DO told?
What shall a song Of it say2
Once it wa, brilliant as gold.
Once it wa gilded and gay.
Fine in their festal arrIy,
Many the bride that it bore.
Now are they wrinAlcl and gray;
Gone are the driver and four!
Long through the heat and tho cold,
Ever from May until May,
Owe" the highways it rolled
Time has now made it his prey.
Never stately di play
Never dash as of yorf
Never a swing or a sway;
Gone are the driver and fourl
Over new roads that men lay
Rush we with rattle aud roar.
Only sweet memories stay;
Gone are the driver and fourl
-BiSSeY Clinton in Harper,
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
.,Sssas6seaFULA

can only be cured by thorough purifica-
ton of the blood. If this is neglected.
the disease perpetuates its taiIt through
generation after generation. Among its
earlier symptomatic developments are
Eczema, CutaneOus Eruptions, Iu-
mors, Boiis, Carbuncles, Erysipelas,
Purulent Ulcers, Nervous and Ply
steal Collapse, etc. If allowed to con-
tinue, rheumatism, Scrofulous Ca
tarrh, Kidney and Liver Diseases,
Tubercular Consumption, and vari-
ous other dangerous or fatal maladies, are
prOduced bv it.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
Division Of Labor.

Naialic-Oh, Mr.. Decourcy, l am tired
Of this frivolous life! How fatiguing
to sit and ho'd ones hands all day.
Mr.. Decourcy-Why not have some
one to hold them for youl-Amsey's
Weetly.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
The London FOf.

II it were not for the too frequent
presence Of fog the atmospheric of Lon
don-of great part Of London-would
no doubt be, for a great city, excep-
tionally pure Aud it my be as well
to point out that what it il customary to
II "London fog" IS not quite correct
ly named or properly understood. Lon
don, while it undoubtedly gives soma
special fopcrties to its fog, has but lit
tie to dowth originating it. The real
and ossetial basis of a London fog is a
sea or Ter mist, blown by tho direc
tion OF Tfwind on to the city. London
lie@-is sxn7 is1ancc from both GU
cast south coasts. On th,
east 9sEis nothing bu, low lying
country between it and the mouth Of
the Thames. nothing to prevent thii
sea fog being driven by the prevailing
wind over, the metropolis. When it
reaches the city the coax of wa cry va
por prevents the regular d fusion an |
dissipation of the smoke of the city
into the surrounding atmosphere, and
for time the sea mist, mixed with
London smoke, hang over US and gives
rs what we call a London fog-the es-
se1tjal basis of which is water, not
smoke. The same thing can be OBJ
served TO rocccd from southwcstcrly
direction.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
Ayers SarsaparMa

is he only po,ceriH and dlroys reliable
HoOd-purifgiRg medicine. II is so effect
uni an Alternative that it eradicates from
The system Hereditary ScrOfula, ana
the kindred poisohs of contagious diseases
and mercury. At the same time it en-
ri-',es and yitalizes the blood, restoring
healthfdl action to the vital organs and
reinycnnfing the entire system. Ihis great
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
KINGS EVIL

Was the name formerly given to Scrofus
because os a superstition that it c puld ,"
cured by kings touch. The world !.
wiser now, and knows that
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
Reuenerative Medicine

Is composed of the genuine Honduras
,S0yS0DarMd, with Yeliolg Dock, SIT
ijB1id. the Iodides of Potassium and
iron. and other ingredients of great po-
tenev. carefully and scientifically COM
bounced. Its formula is generally known
to the medical profession, and the best
physicians constantly prescribe AYERS
S4PSAPARIIIA rs an
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04

The self made man is frequently ex-
ceedingly proud of very poor JOB.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1889-10-04
Absolute Cure

For all diseases caused by the yitiation Of
the blood. 1t is concentrated TO the high
cst practicable degree, far beyond any
other preparation for which like effects
j.. ,re claimed, anil is therefore, the eheapost,.
as well as the best blood purifying medi-
elmo in the world,
The Progress. [volume] (White Earth, Minn.) 1886-1889, 1889-04-20
LATEST NEWS.

The street car strike in st. Paul and
Minneapolis still continues On the 18th
President Lowry issued notice to the
strikers that they could return to work on
the 18th at the reduced scale Of wages
and II they would not accept the PROPOSE.
ton they could consider themselves dis
charged. Several disturbances occurred
in Minneapolis but none in st. Paul The,
cable car men are not involved in the
strike. Mr.. Lowery refused to arbitrate
the difficulties as proposed by committee
of citizens
On the morning of the 18th at st. Louis,
Mo-, Louis Napoleon, the janitor of the
st. Louis grain elevator Office found John
Jackson, president of the elevator COM
pany, hanging to post of the counter
railing, dead and the body cold. Letters
were found showing 1T was suicide.
The steamer Rio Grande was damaged
$4,000 by tire at the dock at New York, the
18th.
CHARLES HODGES and Evan Madden
were passing through an abandoned mine
at Wilkesbarre, Pa, the 18th when their
lights ignited large amount of accumu-
lated gas and both men were blown to
pieces.
MASKED men at Hemstead, Tex, the
ooo1A
charged with attempted rape on white
woman, and hanged him to a tree.
The striking switchman on the Erie
railroad t Buffalo, N. T., became obstrep,
erous the 14th. Several conflicts occurred
and the crowds had to be dispersed by the
police.
AT Sibley, Iowa, on the 18th nearly $50
farmers met at the court house and or
ganized against the Irvine trust.
OLE NELSON employed in the stone
quarry Of L. A. Carlson, Red Wing, Mimi,
was killed the 18th by being participated
over ledge Of rock.
Hon. John P. Usher who was secretary
OF the interior under President Lincoln
died in Philadelphia on the 18th
JOHN A. KAssoN, of Iowa William Wal
ter Phelps, Of New Jersey and Geo II
Bates of Delaware, the commissioners to
represent the United States at the Berlin
conferences on the Samoan question, sailed
from New York on the 18th.
The London, Eng, Weekly Dispatch
says that William O'Brien has entered q
libel action against Lord Salisbury for
certain remarks made by the latter in
recent speech at Wexford sas
AMONG the latest items from the Okla
homa country is one that a bloody tragedy
occurred a few days ago in the western
part between two men from Kansas and
two from Texas for the possession Of q
claim. Guns we're freely used and one Of
the Kansas men was killed and Texan
fatally wounded. The other two called q
truce and started with their wounded COM
rades for q neighboring ranch Before
they reached there the fight was renewed
and later the whole party was GljScoyerel
stretched out on the prairie.
The Progress. [volume] (White Earth, Minn.) 1886-1889, 1889-04-20
Her Artistic Sense Revolted.

Pale, but self-possessed, the young
man rose to his feet and stood before
her.
SO this is the end, is it, Victoria
Washabaughp'' he exclaimed, in me-
tallic voice.
Evans Gam bit, it Isl she replied,
coldly. II have been deceived in re-
gard to the strength of my attachment
for YOU
1t could not stand the strain Of my
inability to furnish you a green-stone
front on Michigan avenue for a home,
presumed he rejoined, bitterly.
.'It is not that, sir!' shs answered,
with flashing eye. 81 beg you to be-
ieve that am superior to considera-
tons Of a sordid character, Mr.. Gam
bit. But you do not satisfy my artistic
nature. = rs.
In what respect, Miss Washabaugh,
may | askp''
IF you must know replied the
fair young girl, with a panied look,
your hair does not match that Of my
lovely little Fido by at least three
shades! e Chicago Tribune.
The Progress. [volume] (White Earth, Minn.) 1886-1889, 1889-04-20
PERSONAL AND PoLITIoAl..

MRS THERON BEACH died on the Sth at
her home in Ltchfeld, Conn, in her one
hundred and first year During more than
a century Of life she had lived in one house.
That house her grandfather built in 1885,.
and there she was born and there she died
At Cheyenne on the 9th Francis E. War
rem was inau rated Governor Of W. oming
with military and civic hOnors
The Progress. [volume] (White Earth, Minn.) 1886-1889, 1889-04-20

Male Parent (sternIy) Now,
sir, young man, ] have caught you
stuck in the Jam, as usual, when your
mother is away. Culprit Il bet
quarter ma is stuck in the jam,
too. s Male Parent Wherep" Gull
prit-.D Down at the millinery open.
ing. - Burlington Free Press.
The Progress. [volume] (White Earth, Minn.) 1886-1889, 1889-04-20

The best time to hunt for borers is
n May Coal ashes are said to be ex-
cellent as q Dreventive 81 horara
The Progress. [volume] (White Earth, Minn.) 1886-1889, 1889-04-20
A WORD OF WARNING.
INTERRUPTED.

There many white represented good
they ARE NOT but like all lack peculiar qualities
the genuine Ask for "Ivo" Soap and insist upon getting it
. Copyrgh by Proctor Gamble.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-05-01
BE Right.

If in evangelical preaching we are
wrong, by all means let us know it. If
any man has larger wisdom or truer
method of meeting the necessities of
the age, for one am quite prepared 10
extinguish my little lamp and let in his
fuller sunshine. All we should aim at
is to be right and to be doing the largest
amount of good. This is the spirit in
which | wish to work. During my in
Permission of pastoral labor | have had
occasion to hear ministers of various
churches, and my testimony is that
when | enter church where they do
not pray, but simply "aspire y; where
they have no doctrine, but only theory
where they displace historical Chris
tianity by the /" unconditional infinite !"
and by some reference to the I" cir
cumambient invisible" and where all
the words are polysyllables, find sad
lack of active charity as embodied in
Sunday-schools, Dorcas societies, sick
visiting societies and earnest, philan-
thropic work among the poor and out
cast. But where find that the cross
of Christ is first, midst and last, find
the people stirred with holy ambition
to make the world better than they
found it. Any religion that will do
that is the religion by which | am pre-
pared to live and in the hope of which
| would dare to die.-Rev. DR.. Joseph
Parker,
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-05-01

Now is the time to be learning all
these things; you may be too busy by
and-by. Even the advertising books
that come around, with their mixtures
of cookery and quackery, presume
upon your having read "Ivanhoe "and
knowing about the Norman Conquest.
Here is the last one that was thrown
in at the door, and it alludes in its in
PRODUCTION to Sir Walter Scott's account
of ga supper given at the house of
Cedric the Saxon, which shows the
rough cookery of those days." etc. land
further on it says, Professional cooks
began to appear in England not long
after the Conquest"
We have received answers to the
questions of April 10 from Edna B.
Dana and Cousin Polly, of which we
will speak another time. In place of
one of our next questions we will take
that in regard to King Canute, already
referred to, which some of our boys
who are fond of history can perhaps
answer. We wish it understood that
we are glad to hear from those who
have not joined the Club, and if you
can not send answers to all the topics,
send to one or two of them.
/. State any fact of interest concern
ing King Canute.
2. For what was Sir Walter Raleigh
noted?
3. What was the greatest work of
Francis Bacon?
Address Is South Loring street,
Lowell, Mass.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-05-01
Collecting Stamps.

We take the following from The En-
tertainment Bureau, monthly publica-
ton of Council Bluffs, Iowa, designed
to suggest entertainment for the home
and for social gatherings .-Scribe.
The little stamp-collecter will not
only find himself we'll pictured in this
rhythnical mirror, but he, and perhaps
older ones, will do we'll to locate the
places named;
Three months ago he did not know
His lesson in geography;
Though he could spell and read quite well,
And cipher, too, he could not tell
The least thing in topography.
But what change! How passing strange!
This stamp-collecting passion
Has reused his ZEAL for woe and veal,
And lists of names he now can reel
Off in amazing fashion.
hear him speak of Mozambique,
Heligoland, Bavaria,
Cashmere, Japan, Thibet, Soudan,
Sumatra, Spain, Valdez, Kokan,
Kharof, Siam, Bulgaria.
Scheswig Holstein-oh boy of mine,
Genius without teacher
Wales, Panama, Scinde, Bolivia,
Jelalabad and Kandahar,
Cabul, Deccan, Helvetia.
And now he longs for more Hong Kongs,
A Rampoor, a Nautilus,
Greece, Borneo, Fernando Pc,
And how much else no one can know;
But be, kind fates, propitiousl