Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1889-09-12
THE DECAY OF GREATNESS.
The Village Big Man Goes to Washington to
see the Postmaster General.

New York Sue The village of R
was dissatisfied with its postmaster.
Several petitions were forwarded to
Washington, and as they were not i'm
mediately acted on, il was determined
that the big man of the town should
proceed TO Washington and lay the
case before the acknowledgement.
The big man Of the town lived on the
interest of his money. He was called
Judge" Most of his letters came adj
dressed TO the Hon" So.and-so. He
ran church and school. always
headed every subscription, bossed the
Fourth of July, dictated the policy of
the village trustees, and was the only
man who subscribed to a New
York daily paper and talked stock.
The big man had never been nomi-
mated for governor. but that was because
he didn't want office. 1t was pretty
generally understood that he could
have a cabinet position any time he de
sired, and that he somehow influenced
all the political appointments in six
counties.
"Gentlemen," said the big man as he
swelled up, II will 90 down To Wash
ington and arrange this matter. You
can rest easy"
If he had told us that he was going
down to Washington TO secure an act
of congress to remove the Bunker Hill
monument to Chicago we would have
had faith in him lie departed. The
band was at the depot TO honor his de-
parture, and the few citizens he deigned
TO shake hands with at once gained five
pounds in avoirdupois. The train had
scarcely moved Off before our big man
began to decrease in size. There was
general in the car; also a millionaire;
also senator. No one knew our big
man or paid any attention to him.
When he reached Washington his hat
was n whole size too large for him.
When he was put in back room on the
fourth floor his chest measure decreased
two inches.
The name of our big man on the
hotel register produced no comma ton.
There was no rush of cards TO his room.
Ii the administration knew Of his arrival
it didn't call. In the lobby he heard
men addressed as Senator" Judge"
General" Colonel" and SO ON until
he felt that his coat was too big for him.
Next morning, when he started out to
call on the postmasJer-general. no band
played. There was no send-off. No
one in Washington knew whether he
was our big man or our cobbler, and no
one seemed to care. Every rod he
travelled seemed to produce shrink
age. He had always supposed that he
was bigger man than the capitol
building. One glance satisfied him that
he had made mistake.
Our big man intended to talk very
plainly TO the acknowledgement. lie
would look very severe when he inquired
why this thing was thus. He inquired
his way 10 headquarters, but had no
sooner reached them than he found
himself weak in the knees. His hat
was now two whole sizes too large, and
his vest would have pinned over two
inches. lie half hoped that the p. Nj.
would be out, but the Hessian who took
his card and looked him up and down
in suspicious way soon returned to
say:
"Very busy, sir. Leave your papers
and call again. Call next week or the
week after"
''But have no papers, and | am Mr..
Smith, of Smithville," protested our
big man.
Eyes, but the postmaster general is
very busy-very busy. Have TO call
again, sir. We never heard of you, sir
never heard of you or your town.
Better make your written application
for the postollice and mail it.
Our big man returned home. lie
was wabbling in his clothes. He had
paper in the lining of his hat to keep it
from falling over his ears. His heels
and toes had an inch play in his shoes
His lordly stomach had wilted away,
and his autocratic bearing had gone
hence. Our big man had met the en-
envy. and he was theirs. He had trav-
eled beyond the confines of our village
and his greatness had melted away
like September frost.