The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1889-07-12
TALK OF TIP DAY.
WAS QUIET WHEN HE SLEPT.

"How do you like my boy, Mr..
Brown? Nice quiet little fellow about
the office =
ayes. He doesn't snore. e."-Harper's
Bazaar.
Typewriter Agent called to see
you in reference to your typewriter.
Would you exchange if you could get
some improvements :"
"Merchant-l cant I'm engaged to
her.-Judge.
TWO or KIND.
Blacksmith-S 8 s-see h .he-ere, B BIB
bob st.st-st strike, .qu-qu.quick, the
the-er. .t
Helper-Wh.wh-where
Blacksmith lin discouraged jun
ble)-Nev-er-ever m.m-mind; it's c-c-c-
cold n-now.--Judge.
oBEYING THE TEXT.
"Why did you slug your teacher on
the street, Johnny'"
| "Cause he licked me in school last
week, and since j joined the Prohibi
tionists, pop, my motto is Down with
all lickers. "-Yonkers Gazette.
If Prohibition State Chairman Pal
mer is as angry at the Republican
bosses as he seems to be, he will be
found arrayed against them with his
political sword in hand next fall. We
shall see what we shall see.-Hsrris
burg Patriot.
HAPPY AS A KING"
"King Milan is fearfully short Of
money and utterly without credit"
When Brokeley read this he thrust
both hands into his pockets up TO tht
wrists and exclaimed melodram sticslly
"Now / know what it is to feel like
a King"-Fliegende Blaetter.
"There is only one sure way to pre-
vent boy from smoking cigarettes
aud that is to chop his head off.--Col
umbus Dispatch.
| Adolph Struthers of Hancock coun
lty, Ohio, is bound to keep cool tbi,
summer He has invented q, fau to b,
placed in his hat, which is run by 81
electric battery carried in one of his
pockets. He has been using the fal
for several weeks past, and says !
works perfectly, and that he does no
! mind the extra weight.
They were talking about penman
ship. II like your hand said he
, "Dont you want it, Georgei" she ask
ed sweetly. No cards. - Lawrenc
, Daily American.
"Did Eve talk Frenchi' asks an ex
change. We don't know, but we reel
on that when Adam came home frol
lodge he heard her, no matter wins
language she talked in."--Willian
. sport Sua and Banner.
IL Queen Victoria is the richest woma
, in the British Kingdom. She has q
: cumulated fortune of $20,0O0,000.
Lord Tennyson is to receive $lO(
for the poem he is now writing. H
first accepted poem brought him ii
s muni6cent sum of ten shillings.
n During her stay at Cape May Nj
q Harrison sent daily telegram to Mr.
}. Mckee to keep her informed of u
a baby McKees.
You can buy pigs-in-clover puzz
for two cents, but it isn't any easier
Or put the pigs in. the pen than it W
u when the thing cost dime.-Some
ii vile Journal.
> Tell woman that she looks fire.
= and she will smile all over. Tell
y q man the same thing, and if he doesr
~ - kick you it is either because he b.
!. !. corns or Observation-Disclosures FIR
- Press.
"Well, sir, what are your prospect.
re My daughter can't marry beggaI
81 expect to come into large fortun
le sir" 'Inherited from whomi" III
n herited from my--er THAT is to ga
from my Observation-Disclosures.
We never fully understood the i
ner meaning of the term ''horse sens,
- until we observed that the horse new
:. docks his own tail. - Washingto
- Post.
d A young man known as "a gild,
l youth" sent the following note to
l rich uncle the other night: ''Not ol
# word-if you do not send me $500
e before midnight shall cease to live
A similar demand had been receiv,
II earlier in the day, 80 the fond unc
replied '1n response to form,
favor l have already forwarded ye
% my revolver. 1t is in good conditie
d and loaded"