Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-04-17
A CYCLOPEDIA STORY.
Pathetic Scene Witnessed Upon
the Delivery Of Volume z.

Havin' lived next door to the Hob1rt
place t'r goin' on thirty years, calclate
that l know jest about ez much about the
case rs any body else now on airth, except
in perhaps IT'S OIL Jedge Baker, and he's SO
plaguey old md so powerful feeble that he
don't know nothin'.
It seems that in the spring Nv 47-the
year that Cy Watson's oldest boy wuz
drowned In West river-there come along q
book agent sellin' volyumes md tracks FIR
the diffusion Nv knowledge, md, havin' got
the recommend 81 the minister md NV the
selectmen, he done an ALFRED big busi-
ness in our part Nv the county. His name
wuz Lemuel Higgins, md he wuz ez likely q
talker ez l ever heerd, barr1n' LAWYER
Conkey, md every body allowed that when
Conkey wuz round he talked so fast that
the town pump I'D have to be creased every
twenty minutes.
One Nv the first Nv our folks that this
Lemuel Higgins struck wuz Leander Ho-
bart Leander had Jest marr'd one Nv the
Peasley girls, md had moved into the old
homestead on the Plainviile read-old Dea-
con Hobart hAvin' give up the place to him,
the other boys havin' moved out West C1ke
a lot O. darned fools that they wuzD. Le-
ander wnz feeitn' his oats jest about this
time md nuthin' wuz too good f'r him
Hattie" sez he, 81 guess I'll have to lay
in few books FIR readin' in the winter
time, md I've half a notion to subscribe FIR
| a acyclopeedy. Mr Higgins here says they're
invalerable in family, and that we orter
| have 'em."
Waal, to make long story short, Lean
der bargained with Mr. Higgins for set NV
them cyclepeedies, md ne signed his name
to long printed paper that showed how he
or 20 fak
often, which WIFE to be ez often ez a new one
nv the volumes wuz printed. A cyclopeedy
isn't printed all at oncet, because that would
make it cost too much; consekently the man
| that gets it up has 1t strung along fur apart,
80 as to hit folks oncet every year or two,
| and gin'r rally about harvest time. So Le-
ander kind Nv liked the idee, and he signed
the printed paper md made his affidavit toit
afore Jedge Warner
The fust volyume of the cyclopeedy stood
on shelf In the old seckertary in the set
tin'-room about four months before they
had any use Pr 1t. One night Squire
Turner's son come over to visit Leander md
Hattie, and they got to talkin' about ap-
pies, md the sort of apples that wuz the
best. Lesnder allowed that the Rhode
Island greenin' wuz the best, but Hat
! tie and the Turner boy stuck up FIR the
Roxbury russet, until at last q happy
| idee struck Leander, and. see he: swell
leave it to the eyclopeedy, b. goshl Which
| ever one the cyclopeedy sez 10 the best will
| settleft."
"But you can't nnd out nothin' bout Rox-
bury russets nor Rhode Island greenlns In
our cyclopeedy," sez Hattie
"Why not, I'd hike to knowl" SEE Leander,
kind 1v indignant like.
"Cause ours hain't got down to the r
| yet," sez Hattie. '.All ours tells about il
! things beginnin' with Az
"Well, ain't We talkin' about applesl"
sez Leander. you aggervate me terrible,
Hattie, by insistin' on knowin' what you
don't know nothin' bout"
Leander went - the seckertary md took
down the cyclopeedy md hunted all through
it fr apples, but all he could find wuz cap
ple-See Pomology."
"How in thunder kin see Pomology. -
sez Leander, "when there amt no Pomology
to seel Col durn cyclopeedy, anyhowr'
And he put the volyume back onto the
shelf md never sot eyes into it agin.
"That's the way the thing run FIR years
nd years. Leander would we gin up the
plaguey bargain, but he couldn't; he had
| signed a printed paper md had swore to it
afore a justice of the peace. Higgins
| would have had the law on him IL he had
tnroWeQ up the trade
The most aggervatin' feature NV it all
wuz that q new one Of them cussed CYCLIC
peedies wuz allus sure to show up at the
wrong time-when Leander wuz hard up or
had jest been afflicted some way or other
His barn burnt down two nights afore the
volyume containin' the letter arrived and
Leander needed all his chink to pay FIR
| lumber, but Higgins sot back on that afi-
| davit and defied the life out Nv him.
"Never mind, Leander." seq his wife,
soothin' like, ''it's good book to have in
the house, anyhow, now that we've got q
baby"
"Thats So" sez Leander, 'sbabies does
begin with b, don't itl'
You see their fust baby had been born
they named him Peasley-Peasley Hobart
after Hattie's folks. So, SEEM as how il
wuz payin' f'r book that told about babies,
Leander didn't begredge that five dollars
| so very much, after all.
"Leander,'' sez Hattie one forenoon,
''that B cyclopeedy amt no account There
amt nothin' in it about babies except 'See
MaternityP"
"Waal, I'll be gosh durnedr seq La
ander. That wuz all he said and he couldn't
donothin' at all, FIR the book agent, Lemuel
Higgins, had the dead wood on him-the
mean. sneakin' critteri
80 the years passed on-one Nv them
cyclopeedies showin' up now md then
sometimes every two years md sometime.
every four. but allus at 4 time when LIE
ander found 10 pesky hard to give up afiver
It warn't no use cussin' Higgins; Higgin.
just LATED when Leander allowed that ths
cycEopeedy wus no good md that he wui
bein' robbed. Meantime Leander's family
wuz increasin' and CROWN Little Sarey
had the hoopin' cough dreadful one winter
but the cyclopeedy didn't help out at all
cause ali fe said wuz: 'sHoopin' Cough
See Whoopin' Cough''-and, nv course
there warn't no Whoopin' Cough to see
bein' as how the W hadn't come yeti
Oncet when Hiram wanted to dreen ths
home pasture he went to the cyclopeedy Il
find out about it, but all he diskivered wu7
"Drain-See Tile.n This was in 1859 and
the cyclopeedy had only got down to g.
The cow wuz sick with lung fever on,
spell and Leander laid her dyin' to tha
csssed cyclopeedy, cause when he went {.
readin' bout cows 1t told him 10 Use.
Zoology"
But what's the use nv harroWin' mp ones
feeIin's talkin' nd thinkin' about thesI
thingsi I.eapder got 90 after aNhE.
thak 80 cyclDpeedE dlan,k wOrEx him at -