Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-06-22
FANCY'S FUNNY CAPRICEs.

the first time pronounce it very swell
affair.
tbs a wise child that goes out of the
room to laugh when the old man mashes
his thumb.
Mrs. GUsHINGToN (missing her
spouse) -Where is the light of my life d?
Mr.. La Conic-He has gone out
TEACHER TO class in geography)-If
] should dig hole through the earth
where would | come out? Small boy
Out of the hole.
"REBUTATIoN dot dond get blem-
fishes on it, says Carl Pretzel, "vhent
der ark in NIT Noah, und forgot to
come der ark out
MEDDLER- What is your business?
Cynicus-Mindiug it. Mcddler-M Mind
ing what? Cynicus-My business.
Mr.. BooDY HousE-How are You on
the Southern race question, Perry?
Mr.. Perry st. Clair Gust returned from
Louisville mceiing)-Broke.
"JUsT see how those crows carry on"
said n man, looking at the antics of
flock of the birds. Yes" replied an
other, they are carrion crows"
HUsBAND-Awosd to the wise is suf-
ficient my dear Wife, know it. dar-
ling. That's why | have to be contin-
ually and everlastingly talking TO You.
CONVERSATION warns the mind and
enlivons the imagination wrote Ben
Franklin. Evidently Benjamin had
heard two cxasperated truck drivers
talk.
CUSTOMER Ito grocery 49, Is there
money in this business? Grocer
Well, / should say so! Why, I've put
in all my own money and as much as l
could borrow.
"WHAT are you doing, Patrick"
"Wakin' your husband, ma am" But
Why" "Becase it's tin o'clock. ma am.
when was to give him the dhrops to
make him SHAPE"
VISITOR Co butler who is showing
him through the picture gallery If an
old mansion)-"That's a fine portrait
Is it an old master?' Butler-"No.
That's the old mi 5sus."
GEORGE" Won't YOU be mine, dcar?'
Clara think | should have to be
hard pressed, indeed, to take you"
George equal to the cmergency)-"Oh,
if that's all, here goes"
mo, l DON'T want the thing" said n
man when importuncd TO buy the pigs
in clover puzzle. 1T is not novelty
to me. I've been passenger-car con-
ductor for twenty five years"
an the coal business, are you?"
yes, sir" discovered the way to
wealth, | SUPPOSE" Il have" what
is it, THE weigh to wealth, sir, is
! 500 pounds to the ton ~ Chicago
Ledger.
your blood appears to be littlo
out of order, madam. | will send You
something that will purify it," Mrs.
Hill Gndignantly)-Purify my blood,
sir? Are you not aware that am ono
of the 400?
BEGGAR-Please give me dime
Don't judge me by present appear
ances, but remember that l oace did
business for, Jay Gould. CitizenI
believe you, m, man, | believe YOU.
Here's dollar.
p. MUNCHAUSEN CADSON, ESQ
Talk alout advcnchaws. Why, good
.Gcd, when | was ont in Ncbwaskaw |
was stwuck slap on the -cr-check by
a Comanchc bullet, by Gcd Miss
dorothy Dcbutantc--O do let me see
it, please. l never saw fattcncd
bullet
TIRED wifc-John, I wish You would
bring in some wood. Husband !
would my dear, hut | have the lumba,
go again. Tired wife-You have?
Husband-Ics, the pains up my back
are just terrible Tired wite-Why,
what have You beea doing? There
were no seats left at the ball grounds,
and had to stand up.
kENTUCKIAN-Col Coykscrew. Two
found a philanthropic mi Ssion at last
You know whisky is said to be the bar
to the Indians civilization. Col Cork.
scrcw-Wcll, what has that to do with
yoIr mission? Kentuckion Every
thing. propose to make the round3
of the reservations and drink all the
internal stuff myself
THE TYPEwEITER Girl.
With the eyes of odalisquc, dreamy Grd
brown;
With teeth that would rival the peal.
She quietly walks to her onict down town,
My darling the typewriter Cirl.
Her voice is as soft Gs tn" whispers of love,
Her fluffy hairs tied wi h n curl.
And her form would Guri.n the Grar'g above,
My darline-the typewriter girl.
From the tips of her feet to the flush on her
check
She keeps me in one constant whirl;
She told me she carn'd six Gola-g II week.
My darlinS-the typewriter girl.