The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1889-01-11
An AmERIc.S STATESMAN.
YeeentrieftIes sf MsIsF w. n.
Martin, the Texas Congressman.


Major Martin had an extremely
diversified, not TO say checkered,
career sinee he reached Washington
a year ago His first exploit was 10
blow out the gas in his room at
wiiIard's Hotel shortly after his
Arrival here. The major vas rescued
In q half suisocstsd condition, but re-
covered sufficient strength In the
course Of the next day 20 make
threats loud ard long against the life
of the enterpriSiug reporter who
wrote him up. The majors blood
soon cooled. however, and no murder
was done. During the famous tariff
debate Of the late session Major
Martin sprang into prominence by a
speech on the subject. the like OF
which Wa never before heard IN
either hall Of Congress. Ii was q
really lame, diSioirted affair, filled
with wild figures Of sIeecb and no end
Of tariff plafitudes and characteristic
Southern pfoyinciaIisms. Ii was eiab-
GRATED BY many grotegque gestures,
and the occupants Of the packed gal
leries as well az the Major colleagues
on the floor applauded him 10 the
echo and then nearly laughed them
selves into commissions. The speech
was taken down By one Of the house
stenogrnphers and, when sent 10 the
Major for correction, was sorry look
ing affair. The Majors colleagues
from Texas put their heads together
and decided that such a ridiculous
speech Should never go into the Reeord.
The MAJOR was therefore induced to
hire Young correspondent to write
him a speech upon the subject OF the
tariff, which appeared in subsequent
issue Of the Congressional Record Not
a line Of it came from the Majors pen.
The speech was intended 20 strike the
farmers ears a. musicaliy as possible.
and was really rather clever effort.
An amusing feature OF this episode
was the fact that over fifty thousand
copies OF this speech were sent broad
cast over the country BY several State
committees. and indeed something
like ten thousand of them were distrib-
uted BY the national Democratic,com-
mittec. The Texas members do not
hesitate to say that the speech I'M
doubleday reelected Mr.. Martin.
Shortly after this the major dis
tingaished himself by accomplishing
a feat in long-distance telephOnina
which certainly eclipsed the record to
date. The major was very anxious to
get some news from his nominating
convention, then in session in Pales-
tine, Tex. Upon expressing this de-
sire to the correspondent who had pre-
pared his speech the latter promptly
volunteered 10 ascertain by telephone
exactly what was going on. Repair
ing 20 a neighboring telephone the
central office" was requested to call
mp Palestine, Tex, by the way of
Charleston. Mobile. New Orleans and
Austin. After completing the connec-
ton TO his own satisfaction the opera
tor informed the major that tall,
dark-haired man was putting a rival
in nomination. They are cheering
Judge Greenwood" said he Dog
gone Greenwood" calculated the
major. Now you are being named,
continued the operator. They are
not very demonstrative. Major, the
chairman requests me TO ask how YOU
stand on the fisheries question. "Tell
en- said the Major promptly. II
amt got 'er derned fish in my district
'cept few tough old buffalo fish"
That made them laugh" said the
operator, but they want to know
what your sentiments are on the in
terstate commerce law2 Hold on"
gasped Major, keep the derned thing
still till | can ask Reagan what I'd
better say. SASHA little cross
eyed man -ays you wore a dress suit
10 dinner given by Amos Cummings
and Bob Vance" That's q derned
lie. shouted the Major. You tell
sem ! wore the same old coat they've
seen me walking round in down TO
home" a smooth-faced gentleman
who weare large white cravat, says
you were under the influence of liquor
at the Philadelphia launch.
That's that Methods preacher. "
said the Major, in whisper Tell 'em
didn't drink a drop of anythin' but
champagne. How could be drunk on
that sweet water2 Just keep still. Ma
j0r. said the correspondent: they
are trying u settle the matter AMIGA
bly,. Major. they say il you will not
attempt to run for third term that
Judge Greenwood will withdraw and
allow you to secure the nomination.
Very low was the Majors voice as he
replied
You jes' tell EN- | amt here. Say
I've gone ont of town and won't be
back for some days Wit, " and the astute
politician walked ont OF the room on
his tiptocs
The Major shortly after discovered
that telephones could not be operated
with any decree of success between
Washington and Palestine, and for
some time the newspaper man who
perpetrated the joke upon the Major
went about the corridors Of the capitol
under poliCe escort