The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1889-12-03
BAD FARMERS.
TABLET, Chatham Co., N. c..
Nov 9 1890


Mr.. EDIToR:-This may seem to be
a strange theme, as we do not like to
write on the same themes that every
one else does. I take bad farmers
thirty two years ago in a n~eighboring
State. John Dead Drag brought suit
Joe Progressive for larceny. What
do you suppose he accused him OF
stealing? The strength out Of his
land. The sheriff arrested Joe. He
gave a good bond, of course, for his
appearance at court. Court came and
the case was called; State VS.. Joe Pro
gressive. John Dead Drag, his two
sons, Tom and Bill, Peter Fishingpole,
Jake Hogmaker and Sam Potato were
ordered called by the Solicitor as wit
nesses for the State.
Bill, Peter, Jake and Sam all testi-
fed that twenty years ago, under the
same cultivation, that John Dead
Drag's land made good crops, but ever
since Joe Progressive had bought that
old farm from Simon Starve and
plowed deep and MANFRED high, Johns
land began to go down and Joe's up.
Tom Dead Drag was put on the
stand and Intercepted more closely by
by Joe's lawyer. Tom, how many
plows does your father run, one pillow
all day? No. Just in the cool of
the day. Wha' does Bill do 2 Works
for Luke Bug Juice for corn and
whiskey. What does your father do?
Hunts when he car get powder and
shot, and fishes. What does the girls
do? Cook, when there is anything
to cook, make corn stalk horses, and
SO on. Tom, how deep do you pillow?
Not very deep, sir; the mule can't pull
the pillow very deep. Why, too poor7
Got but one? Yes, but he is on the
lift. Any sheep? No. Hogs? No.
We did have, but they died. Do
you make any manure? Some. What
do you do with it F.? Put it on the po-
tato patch. How do you get it out on
the potato patch? Tote it; got no
wagon. Stand aside.
Mr.. Progressive's lawyer said go
bring in your witnesses, Joe. Joe
went out and in a few minutes re-
turned, driving a pair of sorrel horses
fat and sleek, hitched to a new pat
ented pillow that had a good pitch
down, his daughter Nancy close be-
hind, driving a pair of iron greys,
little Joe with the biggest load of
spades, shovels, pitch-forks, hoes and
rakes you ever saw, and threw them
down on his sister Nancy's pillow.
Mr. Progressive's lawyer said: Miss
Nancy, as little Joe is too young to
be a witness, you will have to take
the stand. Miss Nancy, how old are
you? Eighteen years old. Do you
pillow? Yes, sir, all the time that the
land is in order. What do you do
when the land is not in good order ?
Help ma in the house. What does
your father do? He plows, too.
What does little Joe do? Hoes, cuts
stalks, sprouts, and 50 on Do you
pillow deep? Yes. Do you make any
compost? Yes, three or four hundred
loads a year. What do you do with
it? Haul it out on all of the crops.
Stand aside, MI. Progressive. Coun.
sci said, may it please your honor and
gentlemen of the jury, as | don't
wish to worry your paciences, | will
submit, the case without argument.
The Solicitor agreed to it. The
Judge enlarged the jury very plan
and forcible. Take the case. The
jury was out three minutes and re-
turned. The Clerk said, have you
agreed? Yes, sir, said the foreman.
What do you find? Not guilty.
Joe's counsel said, go home, Joe, and
steal all your life in that way.
The 18th of last June I had some
business in a south direction from
Tablet. I started soon, afoot. In
about one hour [ came to a place not
a farm, the trees all standing and
some of them green, the fence low, il
a fence at all; no gate, no bars, nc slip
gap to let down and put up if it was
necessary. I stepped over it; it was
no step for me as / am six feet high.
I saw a man sitting in the shade.
walked up to him after the necessary
salutation. I said, preparing to plant
your corn. Yes,..if | can get the seed
I asked, what do you call this7 Listing
up. What next cross off, then plant
if I can get the seed. Have you got
feed for your stock? No; there is q
good grassy bottom down there; ]
am going to cut poles and forks and
fence in a pasture to make a crop on
[ said, Mr.. Slow why did you no
break your land last fall? Too soon
won't do at all. Why not this spring
Too wet, III fact I don't believe in thil
soon blowing and planting. Do yor
sell any corn? Nc. Any wheat
No. Any peas? No. Any forage
No. Any cotton? Not a pound
Don't plant too much work for me
Good bye, sir.
I stepped on a half mile to another