The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1889-01-31
GOING OUT FOR WOOL /;
And Coming Back Ehorn of 5000
and q Die mond Pin.

UOlNU OOl TUn NUULs
And Coming Back Shorn of 5000
and Diemond Pin.
Certain irreverent and vulgar per-
sons were accustomed TO style Mr..
Edward Carter and his friend DR..
Charles Raymond "a pair Of smart
Alecks.' ! say nothing against this
opinion. but would respe ctfully submit
the other side OF the case. Mr.. Carter
considered DR.. Raymond's as the
brightest mind with one exception.
OF course) to be found in the newly
risen generation; and DR.. Raymond
entertained similar esteem for Mr..
Carter. No one could possibly know
either better than they knew each
other: SO that this opinion is certainly
entitled to some respect.
These two choice spirits had devised
various means OF amusing themselves
at the expense OF their less gifted fell
low-creatures. Tho professions Of law
and medicine, which they had respec-
lively embraced, not affording sutfi-
cient scope for their energies, they
were constantly on the lookout for
new means OF employing their SUI
perior talents. He who discovered
such way was regarded with admir-
ing envy by his friends
II say. Ned remarked tho Escu-
lapian, walking into the lawyers
Office one fine day, I've got an idea. =
..Re-mark-a-ble." drawled Mr..
Carter; for they did not, as rule.
manifest In words their mutual re-
spect
LET US investigate the proportion.
ate number OF fools feminine in this
place." quoth the man Of science.
I'VE have frequently done So" OBJ
jected the legal light.
But in way that We have never
yet tried. Let's advertise for wife /"
II don't have to-" responded the
other. with easy superiority.
'Oh. know you're engaged, aud
all that; but / didn't mean to he in
earnest about it. mean just for the
fun OF the thing. to see how many
would be fool enough to answer it."
Mr.. Carter considered the subject
for moment, but his legal acumen
could see no reason for further resist
ing the desire of mis- friend. and the
two concocted Q pair Of advertisements
which were in the highest style OF the
art 1t is enough to say that in each
one the charms Of the gentlemen were
set forth with no overweening modes
~; while it demanded that the lad,
should merely be young. beautiful
accomplished. rich. Of domestic tastes
q good housekeeper and brillian
conversati0nalist. may have forgot
ten o few Of the requirements; but thes'
were certainly the principal qualitie
demanded.
Each was to keep his experience ,
profound secret from tho other for tn
space OF two weeks; at the end of tina
period DR.. Raymond was to resort I.
Mr.. Carriers Office, and they were I,
narrate faithfully and in toto. the re
cults Of the advertisement inserted b
each.
Promptly at the appointed time tn
physician sought the lawyer. H
came reluctantly. as il he half-feare
the reception with which his romanti
tale would be received; his coming wa
awaited with dread.
"Oh, you've come, have you?
sighed MIR. Carter; IL thought ma
be you'd have a patient that would d.
tain you.'
Your imagination does you credit,
returned Raymond; ..if mine were
active. I should say that | though
may be client would be seeking 70,
advice; but I can not picture that stat
OF affairs to myself
But I've had client" was the r
spouse, with q certain air of triumph
DR.. Raymond was sure that 1t must
triumph, although 1t was SO careful
subdued as to resemble disgust.
And I've had a patient, pref
one, too" he answered, endeavorir
TO assert his equality; ''but let's 6
to business. How did your advertis
ment pan QUIZ
"Oh, l got seventeen answers, III
every blessed one OF them seemed
think that she filled the bill exact
Sixteen of them couldn't spell. a,
their letters were horribly written
not tho society scrawl, but labor,
attempt that showed that the writ
would do we'll il she could.
deserve credit for 1t" murmur
the other; ''most Of the girls try
zee what an undeciphcrable scrat.
they can put on paper.
1T can't DO worse than yG1r pr
scriptions would be II you over ha
occasion to write any," retorted &
lawyer; "but keep still now, or el
toll your story first"
"For heavens sake, 60 on!' il
plorcd DR.. Raymond.
- divided these sixteen into squa
OF four. md selected three p. M. I
four consecutive days as tho time
meeting; that corner across the sire