The Portland daily press., 1889-03-08


Henderson has very slippery memory. He
met lady friend the other day. He bowed, he
shook hands; but there he stopped. Finally he
said:
by Jovel but it's awkward. wanted to ask
YOU somethiug, and for the life Of me can't think
v wmas !. was oh,yesl I've got 1t now-How are
veil Inc lady managed to say that she was quite
Ola "Glad to hear it," said Henderson "There was
lSht THIS beautiful day?"-Bosten Transcript,
you nave friend with cough or cold tell
MN TO try DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup. Price % cts
mamma, papa says you weren't pretty last
week, but you are today" "Ahi my child. last
week 1 had neuralgia. to-day have Salvation
OIL.
Grocer-What are you doing Henry?
Clerk-I am picking the dead flies out q these
dried currants.
Grocer Wen you Just LET 'em alone Do you
suppose that am running this business for fun?
DO you think that i come dewn here early at
morning and toll all day just for the spirit of the
thing? You let those dies alonel
A mans wife should always be the
same, especially TO her husband, but If she Is
weak and nervous, and uses Carter's Iron Pills,
she cannot be, for they make her 'feel like a
different person." SO they all say, and their hus-
bands say so too!
Phillips Brooks told an interesting and amusing
aneedote Of Dean Stanley 10 the Trinity club
Monday night. The dean sent note TO shoe-
maker regarding some work which that artisan
was doing for him. The writing was so difficult
70 uecipner that the shoemaker returned IL to the
dean with note saying innocently that he was
unaceustomed to the chirography of the higher
classes and asked for translation.
just as it," said the dean laughingly, In relat-
ing the anecdote TO the Boston dvine,h ~ am TO
pc held responsible for the handwriting of the
tire British aristocracy."-Boston Record.
When Baby was sick. we gave her Castoria.
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria
When she became Miss. she chung to castora,
When she had Children she gave them CastoriA
Among the officials who will probably be going
out of office by and by is large genial gentleman
from the West, who makes handsome figure on
horseback on the avenue of pleasant afternoon.
When he was appointed he was taken about bis
division by the gentleman he was succeeding.
After they had made the rounds, the outgoing
official asked IL he was pleased.
Everything appears WELL" was the reply.
"Who is that lady over there?"
'She is one Of our best clerks"
Us sne marneo9"
mo"
"weI, there's reform will institute at once.
I'll marry her myself" ~.
And he did within three weeks.-Washinston
Post.
BEEcHAs's PILLS act like magic en- weak
stomach.
Grandmamma had been explaining to the little
girl how our earth is kept from flying of into In
to infinite space by the attraction Of the sun.
which is constantly trying to draw the earth
toward itself, while the latter always keeps It's
distance.
"Grandma," said the little girl, 81 should think
the sun would get discouraged after while and
let it co., Harper's Young People.
A woman who ls weak, nervous and
sleepless, and who has cold hands and feet can
not feel and act like well person. Carriers Iron
Pills equalize the circulation, remove nervous
ness and give strength and rest. a
Slang that was True:
In suburb OF Boston there have been a great
many burglares lately, and little girl living there
has got quite excited hearing about them. 1t is
her custom to say the "Now lay me- prayer at
night, concluding with "God bless papa, mamma,
grandma and all the folks.U The other night n