Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1889-08-24
CARL DUNpER,
He Encounters Several Sharpers and
Comes Out Ahead.
TFrcp, rho net,oit Erraa prase

'sWellw queried Sergeant Bendall as
Carl Dunder entered the Woodbridge
street station the other day with his hat
worn jauntiIy on his ear.
"Vhell, Sergeant, l vhas going Ply und l
shust dropped in a leedle time"
"Glad to see you. You haven't been
down in some time"
mo. ! haf some fellers come around to
see me again, ind vhas busy"
"Swindled again, presume"
Sergeant ?" said Mr.. Dunder, as he
flushed clear back to his ears. 'Maype /
vhas some haystacks, und maybe | know
enough to take care of myself. I vashn't
so shmart ash policeman, but | can come
in when she rains"
"Well, perhaps. What were the fellows
after?"
"My wife she likes to 60 to Lansing"
replied Mr.. Dunder, after getting over his
mad a little, ''und l goes Ply der depot to
puy ticket"
"How mooch vhas dot ticket to Lam
sing?"
"Two-forty"
"No less for cash p
mo, sir"
81 gif You two-twenty."
mo, sir.
"Two-twenty-
No, sir"
Den goes by de way of Jackson, und
you doan get a cent"
"But that must have cost at least So"
"a leedle more ash dot, but you see dot
ouder railroad doan get one cent, und il
makes her so mad ash nefer vhas."
"Well, what else?"
"a chap comes in my place last week
und looks all around und says:
"Vas dis Carl Dunder ?"
"He vhas"
81 vhas glad to see you. I hear aboudt
you all oafer Mr.. Dunder | hat some
preparation here dot if you rub on your
feet no shark Will bite you l warrant it
or gift you back your money"
''And you bought it ?"
'Hold on, Sergeant. He hat shust
twelve bottles left. He asks me 81 a
bottle"
But you -W
Don't take me for some fools. ] offer
him two shillings bottle und he takes it.
He likes to beat me, but knock him oudt.
| vhas too sharp for him."
But what do you want of the stuff?'
ITO keep sharks AWAY"
But where are the sharks ?"
Mr.. Dunder looked embarrassed, and as
he did not reply the Sergeant queried:
~ heard something about salt well
up your way. What sort of a scheme was
that %
"Vhell, if / make mistake on dot
shark grease know vhas all right on dot
salt well. Some fellers put COP a shob on
me, but | knock 'em all to pieces. A man
comes in my place und looks all around
und drinks some beer und says:
'Vhas you Carl Dunder?"
~ vhas"
"Vhell, like to tell you dot pellet l
cen make salt well in your back yard.
If so, you vhas der reechest man in Detroit
in two weeks. like to bore und see if
can find salt"
"How mooch vhas der cost ?"
"Nhell, you vhas a good Teller und
always use der poys square und so | make
it sheap to you. l bores down for one
hoonered dollar"
"Who you take me for !"
"But dat yhas sheep"
81 gift you shust twenty-fif dollar und
no more, und if You doan' like dot you go
right oudt"
did he bore ?" asked the Sergeant.
Eyes. He comes right to my price. He
bores for two days"
''Find any salt?'
"Not one drop"
"And you paid him 1882"
al did"
"Mr. Dunder, really hate to say any
thing to wound your feelings, but if you
aren't the greenest, hay-seedest, pumpkin
headest-"
Sergeant interrupted the old man, as
he backed for the door, keep quiet
Doan' spheak to mel Gif me some show
to go AWAY und commit der suicide. |
vhas in dis country ten years, but doan'
make her oudt yet. NOBODY vhas two
times der same. | vhas so discouraged
dot | go und hang myself. Goodbye, und
see dot l yhas kept green in my CRATE p