Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-01-11
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

A T1ME-rABLE-Twenty minutes for
| dinner.-Palck.
SMOKERS do not like too much age in
cigar-especially cabbage.-Boston
Bulletin.
IT takes maiden of 80 to confess that
she is not so bitterly set against smok-
ing after all.
The days of kings are about mum.
bered-always excepting smoking
Boston Bulletin.
The weighs of the transgressor is
about twelve ounces to the pound
Orange Observer.
CHILDREN shrink from being washed
The same may be said of socks.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
A coLoRED man, hen roost, and
dark night discount all the affinities
known to chemical science.
To THE thrifty housewife baking day
is an occasion replete with stirring Incl
DENTS Detroit Free Press.
FR1G1D people are sometimes inclined
to be curious; an icicle is the veriest
eavesdropper, you know.-Yo1ekers Ca
sette.
The women of the California capital
naturally take to seal-skin sack-rai-
ment-O.- Pittsburgh Chronicle Tele-
graph.
NATURE uses good many quilts
with which to make goose, but man
can make goose Of himself with one
Orchard and Garden.
WHEN man becomes the father of
baby he is delighted. When he becomes
the father of twins he looks grave and
mutters, "Gemini!"- Boston Courier.
He has come for her in buggy and
she objected to the turnout-"Y are
very particular; you put on more airs
than a music-box." "Well, I don't go
with crank, anyway"
HARDwoRKER (wearily)-I feel aw-
fully tired. Easygoer-What's the
matter? Have you been overworking
yourself? Hardworker-Yes; I've been
watching lazy man resting himself.
HUSBAND (severely)-What! more
money? Suppose I was dead-you'd
have to beg for your cash. Wife
(calmly)-It wouldn't be as though
had never had any practice, sir.-Chi-
cago Globe.
"YoU don't seem much troubled over
losing that GIRL" said Merritt. "No!"
replied Bjones, "she broke off the en-
gagement the very night before her IA
ther was caught short on wheat and ut
terly ruined"
Mrs. O'TooLE-What puzzles me en-
tirely is that the ovid house should lake
to SIGH an ixtint whin it's covered wild
insurance. Mr.. O'Toole-Yis, me dar-
lint; but it's fire inshoorance, not water,
do ye moind.
A cLorH1ER has excited public curl
osity by having large apple painted
on his sign. When asked for an expla-
nation he replied, @H it hadn't been for
an apple where would the ready-made
clothing business be to-day?"
A LITTLE daughter of family on AL.
fred street was teasing her mother, who
at last said, hastily: do be patient,
child! BE patient" II don't want to"
retorted the little girl; "that's what they
| put in the ambulance. "-DetrOit Free
Press.
II MIGHT have known better than to
steal q white horse" said the thief in
New York, for the Auburn locks we're
sure to follow" And the jailer at the
Auburn penitentiary turned the key on
him neatly.-Saae Francisco NeaVs-
Letter.
No WONDER He Looked Sad-@You
are Mr.. Quezeen, the husband Of the
celebrated lecturess on cookery, are you
not?" eyes, SIR" replied the detected,
hollow-eyed man. "Pm the man she
tries her new dishes on."-Chicago
Tribune.
NoTH1Na so discourages woman,
after asking to be excused to couple Of
lady callers, as to learn that each wore
new dress and new bonnet. It is
then that she says, "Cursity, darnity,
darn, darn, darn!" or goes and has a
real good cry.
THEArER-GoER-G Indignantly - The
idea of q baby yelling like that at
theater! Why don't you have the young.
ster put out? Manager helplessly)-
I don't dare. It's the pet grandchild OF
the little actress you threw the bouquet
to.-Philadelphia Record.
FArHER-My son, stopt You must
NOT dispute your mother that way.
B6y-But she's in the wrong. Father
That makes no difference; and you
might as we'll learn, my child, once for
all, that when lady says thing is so,
it is SO. And then he added, earnestly,
Given If IL isn't sot"-ChicnnO Glohe