Evening journal., 1889-06-26
Some HInts to Women.

A clever writer In the New Orleans
Times Democrat submits the following
satirical views on the domestic problem:
Assuredly IL woman Is not happy. vir-
tuous and wise, II must be through her
own perversity, for she has multitude
Of counsellors ready and eager to point
out the way. 1t is especially in her char
acter Of wife that she Is supposed to be in
need Of good advice--her fulfllment of
the function tending solely, we need
hardly say, toward the comfort and we'll
being Of her husband. Important truths
can never be dwelt upon too insistently.
Therefore IL may not be amiss to recaptu-
late the few simple rules by following
which women can insure domestic felicity.
First of all, whatever may be her hus-
band vagaries, she must always greet him
with smile on her face and a rose in
her hair. Very old fashioned authorities
add blue ribbon to this outft-and
thus airily attired. the ideal wife hovers
upon the threshold, awaiting her lords
return from business or pleasure. 1t
may be suggested that at certain seasons
of the year the rose would be luxury
scarcely harmonious with that strict
| domestic economy enjoined upon the
model housewife. Likewise, there might
be occasions when the unfailing smile
would assume to the homecomer the ex-
preston of a sardonic grin. But these
are the vulgar objections of sordid minds,
and as such, we may turn away from
them.
To every true wife we say earnestly.
"Let policy, policy, policy be your
motto" The husband is a dangerous
explosive, and must be dealt with accord
ingly. Handle him gently; touch him
with care; let no rude shock disturb his
5recariously balanced equanimity. Exer
else all the caution used by those who
work in a gunpowder mill, or the crash of
matter and the wreck of worlds may be
the consequence of your rashness. Never
venture to approach him by any but the
most circuitous route. Circumvent him
by all means. 0utwit him when
ever It is feasible. Any attempt
at a straightforward course will be
judged by your husband as an attempt
TO rule him which as Pet Marjorie said
of the multiplication table, lis what
nature itself can't endure" Any manuel
relative to the management Of mules OF
the driving Of pigs may be profitably
studied by the wife who Is anxious tC
pick up hint wherever she can. See
that be is well fed, lest he turn again
and rend you, for 1t is but a step from 8
leg Of mutton to a wife; and be careful
not to intrude irrelevant matters upon
his attention during feeding time.
But household comfort and economy
are but q small part of the duties of 1
wife. Her children must be always wei
dressed and well-mannered, brought for
ward At the proper moment, and with
drawn from public attention when n,
longer needed; she herself must be in
variably arrayed with taste; social claims
must be recognized; she must relinquisl
none Of her early accomplishments, anS
must keep herself informed concerning
literature, science, politics &c Sh
must be careful, also, TO preserv,
what beauty she may have pos
sessed upon entering the hol,
state Of matrimony. If a woman grow
thin, or loses her youthful bloom, it mus
be assumed that she has done so will
malice aforethought, or, at least that tn
loss is the result of bad management
Above oil, she must be gay and sprightly
Upon her rests the responsibility 0
making home a bright, attractive spo
and Of keeping her husband from stray
ing off to the club Or other haunts 0
vice. When the evening hour come
she must cajole him into the parlor mad
beautiful by her refined taste, an
then gently touching the piano keys, lie
her play one Of those dear, old-time air
+, which may strike the chord of memor
in his savage breast. II makes no differ
,, ence whether she has headache or an
other ache, or has been kept up half th
i night by crying infant. She will fec
/ richly rewarded for such trifing con
I quest Of self when her husband fall
into an appreciative slumber upon tn
sofa. Let a wife follow these simpl
maxims and her partner will not ofte
1 tTg ,,,n ~rfo e.c a fafI,,ra9v