The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-30
BRIGHT BITS.

INDIANA MEN who now go to Washington feel
so much at home there that they insist on call
ing the Goddess OF Liberty by her first name
| Chicago Ne1cs.
TIE, piano to be sold by lady with four
carved legs" has been outdone. We read to-
aay OF an order given for 'one lady's prime
saddle for a tall, slim lady, ali over hog skin
ana perfectly plain. london Globe.
FOND MOTHER tproudlyp--Yes, Johnnie won
the reading prize in school. Come here,
JOHNNIE, and tell Mrs. Brown how you won the
prize
Johnny-Oh, took it hands down Billy
Wafhes got it for readin' good, but played
marbles for it an won it.-Hdrper's Bazdr.
WAsHISaToNIAs-There goes Congressman
b. He's the only politician In Washington
TO whom Dr.: Mary Walker won't speak.
visitor-Why won't she speak to himf
Washingtonian-Why, at one OF the white
mouse receptions, when he was trifie tipsy, he
asked her what she did to prevent her trousers
Dagging at the knees Burlinotoh Free Pf ess
MIR. De STYLE-Why. my dear I'm glad to see
you 80 composed. When | left this morning
you were weeping and waiting and tearing your
halr because Fido was sick.
Mrs. De Style-Well, you see just after you
left Mrs Upton came in and told me that dogs
OF tldos breed were going out Of fashion, so
dried my tears and kicked him out.-NeU York
Weekly.
A KENTUCKY gentleman who recently came
TO Washington to consult with his member of
congress about an office under the new ad-
ministration, was asked yesterday by gentle
man from Boston whether it is really true that
the people of Kentucky so very bibulous.
Bibulous"' said the Kentuckian. "Bibulous
- don't reckon you could find a dozen
Bibles in the whole state - Washington Post.
THE New York boy is not precisely child of
the devil, but for malicious mischief he
is hard to beat One of them was overheard
Initiating strange boy from the lswleSs south
into the mysteries of New York life. Winter is
the best time to throw stones at windows" said
the New York boy.
why Is winter the best timer asked the IN.
sophisticated youth from the south.
Because, you see. the houses have double
windows and you eau break two panes with
one throw, and YOU can only get one licking
just the same as If you had only broken one
pane. ''-Terds Siftiags.
TEAcHER-What is accent?
First pupil-Emphasis or stress on particu-
lar syllable.
Teacher Correct. Is there more than one
kind?
Second pupil-Yes, sir; primary and second
airy accent.
Teacher-In the word execution" where does
the secondary accent or stress fallP
Third pupil-On the first syllable
Teacher-Right. Where does the primary &C
cent or stress fall?
Fourth pupil (who hasn't studied the Iesson)
On the neck.-ChicdyO Tribune.
HARD AT WoRE.-Visitor lat Washinston)-
You are the new Secretary of Agriculture,
believe?
1ue new OeCretdTy-1o Ss WnaC can 90 Tor
you?
Visitor-I thought that, since 1 was here,
might get some beans.
The New Secretary-Yes, sir. Here's pack
age, sir Plant 'em in burrows three feet deep,
and-no that's the direction for saplIngs These
must be sown under glass and transplanted in
June, or-no, come to think that's for toma-
toes. Well, haven't my glasses with me; but
you can read the directions yoursef.-Puck.
A BAD MIxTURE-A doctor told a woman who
was suffering from a sore throat that she
should prepare drink composed of honey and
vinegar, in the proportion of two parts of
honey to one of vinegar. When the doctor
made his next visit he asked the patient how
she liked the drink. bad, doctor, very bad.
1t was fearfully souri,
Not if you followed my directions. Two
parts OF honey to one OF vinegar cannot be very
sour, replied the doctor, tas ing the beverage,
which he found to be very sour indeed. How
did you make this drink?'' he asked.
Just as you told me. l mixed up 20 cents
worth of honey with two quarts Of vinegar for
10 cents. "-Ierds Siftings