The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-11-07
HELPED THE AUTHOR OUT.
The Printer Had an Idea and 1t Broke
Him Up,
A printer told the story.

The Printer Had an Idea and 1t Broke
Him Up.
A printer told the story.
II had a good job" he said, ''in a Mon
roe street fiction f~oundry-one of those
print shops where they publish stories Of
the Shelton Hunters Last Gurgling
Gasp order by the cord. 1t is the rankest
kind OF rot, and is liable to give a printer
blood poisoning If he handles much Of it.
1t is the sort of literature that induces
little boys to get up in the night, steal the
old mans pocketbook, buy guns and start
out West to rescue the imperilled maiden
from the lair of the robber chieftain and
restore her to her agonized parents.
seThere were twenty printers and six
liars, each a fu~l-fiedged Ananias, work
ing in the place The liars sat at a table
in II end of the Dor grinding out those
unwholesome stories as fast as we could
put them in type. One day | got a wad
of copy that was positively sickening. 1t
was about a lovely girl who had been cap
tured and torn from her home by a heart
less white desperate and his sand of
bloodthirsty Apaches. The girl was in a
desperate fix. She either had to marry
the villain or become his wife, he didn't
care which, ana he was then on his way
to a cave in the mountains, where he was
going to have the ceremony performed.
That night they camped in a rocky
gorge 200 miles from nowhere and bound
the unfortunate maiden to a tree with the
usual buckskin thongs, which cut deep
into her tender wrists. Then they all laid
down and went to sleep. In the mean
time Old Zeke, the Hairy Scout, Who WI
on the trail, sneaked up just at daylight,
when people sleep the sonndest. Zeke
sailed in and killed twenty-five or thirty
Indians with the butt-end of his trusty
rifle. He didn't want to shoot for fear he
would waken the others. Then. after he
had cut q notch for each corpse on his
gunstock and hung the coarse, black
scalp-locks to his belt, he released the
girl, hoisted her under his arm, jumped
into the saddle and rode away.
"He 0 d at full speed for forty-eight
miles without stopping. When night
closed in the bold scout pulled rein and
went into camp. First he picketed his
horse, then built a fire. fixed a cot Of
leaves for the girl, and got her something
to eat ont Of his saddle bags. This was
where / got in my work.
1.-THE first thing Zeke took out of the
bags was several thick slices of fresh
Vienna bread with honey on them. Next
came cold boiled ham, cut thin, an apple
pie with a short, crispy upper crust, and
last a tender spring chicken roasted a
delicate brown. Mind you he had all
this stuff in a pair of saddle bags in the
wilds of the rocky mountains, 300 miles
lLOAl SINlAi1dUlOh3 III OLO yCdI LOU. ~
made me sick, but | resolved that the
poor girl should have one good feed if l
died for it. So l showed in another para
graph like this, completing the bill of
fare:-
After getting the girl started Zeke
reached into the saddle bag and pulled
out q bowl of steamlng hot consomme
and a broiled fresh mackerel, some
deviled crabs, cold slaw. potato salad. a
half fry, veal outlets Dreaded, with toma-
to sauce, green corn on the cob, some
clam chowder, stewed turkey, a portion
of rice pudding, two cups of chocolate,
pork tenderloin, Rochefort cheese, and q
bottle of Bass ale, Saratoga chips, a plate
of vanilla ice cream, a Chinese paper nap
kin, sliced c~ucumbers, some California
grapes and a nickel-plated nut cracker. , !"
"Did it go?i' asked an interested lis
tener.
mo, it didn't said the printer sadly,
''but ! did. The boss came to me next
morning with a proof slip and wanted to
know who wa writing that story. / said
the author was making a stagger in that
direction, but wasn't giving the girl a
fair show.
"sThat may be- said the boss, hut if
he wants to run q cafe in connection with
the story we'll hire a cook and make it
easier Tor YOU
''Then he told me that / was too smart
to be a printer, and had better go out
where the cool air would strike me. /
went."-Chicdgo Times.