Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1889-10-13
ZEPHANIAH EZEKIEL.

our grdnOIdlners were young. Inc scnoi-
airs in Aunt Sally Woodbridge's long din
ing room knew it was II, because every
day at that hour the tin baker went down
upon the kitchen hearth with bang, and
the coffee-mill, nailed to one side of the
window-casing, was heard sending forth its
periodical clatter.
In those days not only did the master of
| the district school ''board round" but the
school likewise accompanied the master in
his peregrinations from house to house, in
each of which a room and few chairs
settees or boxes were set apart for the
cause of education.
The long, old-fashioned dining room of
the Woodbridge domicile was at present
given up during few hours of each day
to this excellent use. But no sooner had
the masters ferule raped smartly on his
little green table, at II O'clock, than a
transformation scene took place in the in
terest of hungry Woodbridges.
| am an hour ahead Of my story, how
ever, and must go back. The bang of the
tin baker had Just been heard, and Aunt
Sally's hand had just grasped the handle
of the coffee-mill with its usual vigorous
touch, when Zephaniah Ezekiel Trask, a
youth who frequently varied the monot-
ony of school life by efforts to amuse him
self, slyly SHE'D small wad of paper, with
evident intention of lodging it in the open
mouth of member of the arithmetic class,
who was deeply absorbed in the interest
ing process of subtracting one half from
seven-eighths.
Unlucky shot The paper pellet went
wide of its mark, and, glancing from the
forehead of his intended victim, struck the
nose of the dignifed but peppery master !
The whole school saw it, some with care
fully concealed glee, and others with
unbounded amazement, as if the whole
| fabric of learning had been menaced. On
the face of one small boy was such min
gled look of fear, CONSERVATION and de-
spair that his detection was an easy mat
ter, although the master was somewhat
advanced in years and wore huge goggles
over his eyes.
"Zepheniah Ezekial," roared the master,
take off your jacket and come here"
The old mans eyes were flashing be-
hind their huge casing of glass, while his
hand clasped firmly the long hard wood
ruler which could boast an intimate ac-
quaintance with every boy in the ROOM
To what extent the walls of his wrath
would have been poured out upon the
present victim, had not good fortune, in
the person of Aunt Sally, appeared at
| the door, | am not able to state. But
certain it was that while poor Zephaniah
Ezekiel stood in jacketless detection be-
meath the appraised hickory, the mistress
of the kitchen, having given a final rap
upon the side of the mill to shake the
remaining grains of coffee down, and
having given last twirl to the handle,
appeared at the door. Reckoning the
school-teacher into the kitchen, she in
quired whether he preferred sage or sum-
mer savory as seasoning in meat stew
So important matter required deliber-
alton, since meat stew improperly sea-
soned possesses few attractions to a cult
waited palate. A considerable period was
thus afforded the small culprit on the
other side of the door in which to do some
hard thinking.
Had there been an outside door at hand
or an open window, this story would never
have been written. The outside door or
window would have introduced Zephaniah
to long stretch of open country outside,
ere the squeak of the masters retiring
footsteps had died away; but no such
avenue of escape offered itself.
The Woodbridge house, like many other
| early dwellings in the State of Maine, was
built with huge stone chimneys, and broad
hearths formed of single slabs of stone.
These open freplaces had enormous iron
cranes suspended from one side, from which
kettles could be hung over the fire.
Such a fireplace, near the masters table,
caught Zephaniah's eye as he gazed wildly
about for chance of escape. The fire
was nearly dead upon the hearth, sending
up only light line of smoke through the
wide chimney. The disturber of arithmet-
ical calculations was seized with sudden
idea, which he promptly put into practice.
He had just safely climbed up the huge
crane, and SO disappeared from sight, when
the teacher, having at length decided that,
on the whole, summer savory was best cal
culaten to add spice and character to a
meat stew. returned to the school-room to
get up an appetite for the coming repast
by muscular exercise upon the back of
Zephaniah Ezekiel.
No individual of this name, however,
fell under the gaze of the goggles, as they
turned from one corner of the room to the
other. Their unayailing search might
have been prolonged for a considerable
period, had not the eyes of some half-dozen
small boys been riveted earnestly on the
spot where, shortly before, youthful pair
of legs had appeared.
Quick detection followed.
Come down, you young rascalp' roared
the pedagogue, STOPPING over the huge
brass andirons till pair of well-worn cow
hide boots came into sight above. "Tll
larn We to slip off when my back is turned
Come down, tell yen
Accompanying the cordial invitation to
descend were sundry vigorous raps with the
tongs upon the boots before mentioned.
These attentions caused the occupant ofthe
chimney to squirm and dance up and down
the crane. upon which his footing was not
too secure.
The chimney, as l have said, was built
Of stone. The inside, of course, had many
pockets and projections, formed by the I'M
equal thickness of the stones Zephaniah's
position on the crane was becoming so ex-
tremely uncomfortable--not to speak of
the probability of his slipping from it into
the hands of avenging discipline below
that he made further effort to escape He
cautiously grasped a projecting rock, and
drew himselfup till he found secure foot
ing.
This new move increased the fury of the
master to white heat.
'Pll bring We down if / have to crawl
up after We" he shouted.
am unable to say whether or not he
would really have endangered the white
ness of his broad expanse of shirt bosom
and high linen dickey in the soot-lined
cavity now occupied by very black
handed boy Certain it was that he had
moved the kettle from the crane and
pushed aside the and-irons, when his eye
caught sight of pile of birch bark, which
was stored in box at one side of the
chimney, and used for kindling fires. To
such use the Infatuated trainer of young
ideas now proceeded to put it.
With nervous haste he transferred
large pile of it to the fireplace, and, draw
ing match along the side of his panta-
looms, soon had dense smoke rolling up
the chimney, to the horror and amaze
ment of the on-looking pupils
Now We'll see if yell come down.