The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-01-18
VISITS TO IN

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the &c ~ IA 4iuler. hos 70 be an
agreeable guest or hostess, how to prepare
for ocean travel, how to live on ten dollars
a week, OF five hundred a year, and have
everything that is needed, how to preserve
ones health; but how seldom is anything
said about the way in which a person real
ly Ill should be treated by outside friends.
In cook-books We have general hints on
caring and cooking for inyalids; we have
tempting dishes for convalescents and are
advised to keep the air fresh and pure,
but guard against draughts, avoiding noise,
keeping medicines out of sight, getting as
much sunshine into the sick-room as pos
sible. All this is essential, but, after all,
the friends who enter the sick-room nave
quite as much influence upon the patient
as all these combined for either good or in
jury. Yet how little is said on this import
ant matter. The horribly brutal speeches
that are made by visitors apparently sane,
are Inexcusable. Some of them are SO horri-
bic that one must laugh at the very re-
membrance of them.
To a dear old gentleman who had been
confined to the house for some time, came
the cheerful inquiry: "Does the grave
look pleasant to you, Mr.-?"
A lady sorely and dangerously afflicted
with dropsy, unable to breathe except in a
sitting position, worn out by sleeplessness
and suffering, was thus comforted by a
sympathetic neighbor after viewing her
with eager curiosity: well, Mrs; you
do look awfully. hope you viii die be-
fore you burst!''
To a nervous old man, depressed by q
long struggle with disease, and feeble, yet
very anxious to recover, came this cheer
ing observation: Dear me, how you have
failed lately. Why you are as white as
a sheet! Your blood is all turning to
water! You can't last longf"
By the beside of a sensitive woman at
tackled with pneumonia, l heard a most
benevolent and truly Christian woman say,
in clear tones: ''There is no hope. / see
the death-mark on her face"
Now all this is true, and not in the least
exaggerated, and all my readers could
doubtless give equally startling instances
OF lack of ordinary consideration which
seems to me positively criminal.
You will find, If i'll several weeks, that
some of your best friends will study your
appearance and report with startling frank
ness: why, my dear, how you have chang
ed. Ireally don't believe / should have
known you. You are paler or more unna-
turally flushed Gas the case may be- since /
was here last. and yes, you have ~perceptibly
lost flesh. But you must get well. We
all love you too much; we can get on with
out you This is said with the kindest
meaning, but to the apuir sick body it
means faintness or increased fever or a cry
after the visitor has departed. Whatever
may be your disease, the conversation, in
stead of turning upon the cheerful and en-
crossing topics of the time, is too apt to be
fastened to your own condition, and in
stances are given of Mr.. Soandso who died
Of the same, or Miss Thisorthat who
at last recovered, but has never been her
old self since. We all know how the i'm
agination acts upon the body. even produc-
ing death in a perfectly healthy person.
Then how careful we should be in a sick
room.
Mrs. Lincoln, in her cook book, gives this
excellent and much-needed advice: 'sCul-
tivate the power of talking to, rather than
with, a sick person" That of itself is an
art.
Talk about your own interests, but not
in tedious detail; describe some recent re-
ception or lecture or concert; tell an anus
ing story; above all, do not stay too long.
One lady recently condensed a novel for
an invalid friend who was not allowed to
read. She did 1t admirably in about ten
minutes, and then wisely left. Such a wis.,
itor is rare. It is not pleasant to be told
that you look 'shaggard," or as one lady
phrased it, 'swizzled, fairly wizzled."
Some gracious spirits carry with them
into the sick-room a blessed atmosphere Of
hope and courage and affection, which is
better than flowers or fruit, or even sun
shine.
You will find when i'll that some friends
exhaust YOU, Others excite You undnly, some
are depressing. A few leave yea in a state
of rest and happiness and peace as if angels
had accompanied them and guided their
thoughts in the right direction.
| speak with the assurance OF varied
n-n1r;apna TaTaneaIe1{
| have always been much annoyed by
neuralgia and headache and finally deter
rinad 70 try Salvation OIL am Glad To