Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-03-14
HIS VERY LAST CIGAR.
FiCkLEBY'S DIZZY EVENING AT 4
 FIVE DOLLAR BANQUET.

Worth of His Money-Everytiling Went
 Beautifully Until That Horrid Cigar Got
 in Its Wicked Work.
 1t was my last cigar" said Mr. Fickleby. and, carried away by the flood of sad memories, he leaned his head upon his hand and wept. "You see," said he, "the fellows in our set determined to have banquet, and we've been saving up since the last Fourth of July. It was to be a five dollar affair, and for week beforehand lived on husks and abjured pie. l was determined to eat, drink and be merry, and forced myself into a vast capacity.
 "The night came. It took me two hours to dress, but it was worth while, and when looked on myself at g o'clock 1 beheld glass of fashion and mold of form. There must have been fifty or sixty of the fellows at tho banquet. Be- sides our set there were large number of invited guests. It was about 10 o'clock when we sat down, and 1 was so ema- ciated from continued and rigorous fast ing that l could hardly hold myself straight.
 THAT FINER sPURRED HIM ON.
 ''l rarely touch wine, but when pay $5 for a single meal, when at my board ing house can get twenty-one for the same money, l stop at nothing. So permitted the menial to replenish my sherry glass as often ;s l emptied it, while oysters, bouillon, salmon, sweet breads and lamb chops vanished behind my waistcoat. Nor did 1 permit the claret to flow past me, but slipped it while l discussed tender bit of beef with asparagus. l have heard much of the seductive and insidious influences of punch, but l must say that the punch we fellows had at the banquet seemed to me more like lemon ice cream soda water than the fiery untamed spirit of the alcoholic flask.
 Cigarettes came with the punch, may as well confess that am not an in- veterate smoker. In fact, two or three cigarettes year generally is sufficient to allay any cravings have for the noxious weed. But on an occasion like a five dollar banquet l am possessed to indulge in the most reckless dissipation, and after the punch l made away with two cigar cites. Partridge and a sip or two of claret followed. l dealt literally, as Is my wont, with the ice cream and the cakes. the coffee and the fruits, and when the toasting began. and the champagne
 ''The speeches were capital. Some of the most learned and witty men 1 ever heard answered to the several toasts. Every man around me was smoking. summoned a waiter and bade him bring me cigar. It was just glorious. Through the blue wreaths of smoke l could just see the orator tlinging out his arms over the china and silver. 1 slipped the spark. ling wine. Everything was happy. sat and laughed and let my head roll | where it would.
 <>sn G., ,l, I l>o, l ing my wine glass as l listened to the speakers about me- Suddenly I felt something like dark, damp green mold creeping over me. broke out in pro fuse precipitation. A vague feeling that l was full of protoplasms possessed me- A strange power seemed trying to raise my lungs into my throat. The speech lost it's brilliancy. shaded my eyes with my hand and gazed earnestly at the table cloth. The plates began to move about strangely. Through the cloud of smoke about my head came the sound of clap ping hands. Who had been speaking neither knew nor cared. There was ; wild, turbulent feeling of rebellion in tht region of my diaphragm.
 l HES UNDER THE TABLE"
 Somebody rose and began to speak l dared not raise my eyes to see him The plates swan round and round. How the damp precipitation gathered on my foreheadl 1 could endure the suspenst no longer. 1 felt that something wa about to happen. Without a moment hesitation I slipped under the groanins board and began myself to groan il unison with it. It may be said that th' cause of our grooming was identical: heavy load, if tobacco smoke can b, called load. l languidly raised my eyelids and looked around. l saw ; forest of legs belonging to the leading preachers, doctors and lawyers in Gown vast forest of legs. heard more hant clapping. The legs began to dance, tn table rocked, a chasm opened some where. Somebody cried, He's unde the tablev Then there was laughter.
 "Au at once 1 went to pieces. l re member nothing save a confused az pearance of black faces, and wondere' if was with Stanley. They hauled ID along. tried to think whether 1 wa Emin Bey or Gerard Fickleby. If wa the former 1 knew Stanley would rescu me. If was the latter I knew that
 was not feeling well. Iasked the colore person who was supporting me, an whom l believed to be the king of Sene gambia, if we were anywhere near tn Congo river. He said something abou Genesee, and believe argued the poin with him. though am not sure. knoy l looked at the floor just second, an when l raised my eyes the stars wer shining over my head and the thea mometer was below zero.
 "It seemed to me that the common re ports of African torridness were al wrong. looked about for chair, bu could find none, and was forced to si down on the sidewalk. A policeman, believe it was, came along and tried t carry on social conversation with me He was an ignorant man. however, an failed to follow my train of thought, an l told him what thought of him. l re member nothing more until found my self in bed with a large wet cloth on m head. No, l am firmly resolved never t smoke another cigar. ."-Buffalo Courier