Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1889-09-19
ARRIVAL or THE BABY.
How the Joy OF Fund Parents Is ExAiblts
In Birth TeleKrams.

was nothing about him that would have
attracted attention, except perhaps q
strange troubled look In his eyes and the
reckless way he was destroying Mr..
Gould's telegraph blanks He would
take up sheet, dash of q line or two,
hold it at arms length, slowly shake his
head and then crumple the dispatch in
his hand and try it all over again. On
the sixth round glad smile told that he
had written the thing to his satisfaction,
and the next moment he approached the
night clerk and timidly asked the charges
to Kalamazoo.
A wan smile crept over the erstwhile
calm and prosaic face Of the clerk as the
customer took HIS change and hastily slid
out the side door.
AS the reporter approached the smile
deepened.
"I thought So" said the clerk slowly
as he glanced about the Office to see that
no one was about.
"You didS' said the reporter, gently
yet firmly.
YVES. This is the fourth one tonight,
too. Listen" he added, as he pinned his
merciless gaze on the blushing night
message for Kalamazoo;
"'The little stranger arrived safely to-
day. Twelve pounds. Julia doing fine
ly. It's boy. Kindly name your beV-
erage and send damages to CHARLEY
eyes," went on the clerk, speaking as
though he were equal to the occasion,
"this is plainly Charley's first son and
heir. He is In ecstasies and hastens
down here to notify the old folks at
home. Did you notice how many times
he tore up the blanks before he seemed
satisfied with what he had written? All
the young fellows act that way. It's a
very ticklish place to put young man
in, and being his first offense, he doesn't
know exactly how to word the news SO
that he will make a neat and ornamental
message, as it were. Charley seems to
be quite an artist though, and 1 think
you'll agree with me that he led up to
the climax very well indeed. He almost
forgot=-well, something decidedly i'm
poffaMti and rather than have the old
folks at Kazoo, the auhts and uncles and
Si$tieth cousins left in a state of be&fl-
derment, notice how gracefully he rings
in the crisis:
"'Its boy
SNOW, then, here's another handed to
me just little while ago. This is en-
tirely in different vein. It is addressed
to a gentleman IN Toledo, perhaps an old
chum;
"Well, WELT we'll! told you sol I
shall name him after you. He will run
for president in 1924, or my name is not
"'ToM JACK
"NQw, that's what I cali neat" said
the clerk, as he laid aside the tender
message destined soon to gladden. some
heart in far off Toledo. "One cannot
help bat admire Tom Jacks delicate
sense of Ihum6r. He spares himself the
embarrassment of saying anything about
the 'li6Ge angels sex. He doesn't sag
\ whether Sally is doing well or not; Tom
,Jack'ts too much elated to think of these
thing now. A year or so hehce'fo may
come In again, but his dispatch won't bt
SO intrepid. Later still, whehr,she family
circle is extended SO that the hired CIR
Il pits couple of extra boards in the tabl'
Efer dinner every day-weIl, Tom Jack
. IvEe prosaic family man, with expenses
flnning higher and higher year by year
lwwon't be in such a tremendous hurry t.
turn loose the electricity for arrival No
T.. We can all wager the nimble dolla
, on that.
: ''Shall I read the other two? Well
they're nctqaite so demonstrative. On
9 reads:
"'Baby4 Game to us this morning. Blu
y eyes like its mother. Mother mendin,
q trapidly. JIM
4 aAnd the other reads:
n "'Cur daughter Joined us this morn
n ing at 1920. Will you come to christeT
4 ing? Irene sends love to father.
4 "'FREDDY f.
"You can see by these that there
i ,Eduite literature in the birth message
K The main points that seem to agitate tn
. fond young papa's breast are to tell th
d little story fully, yet suppress any diree
v statements. They are really more abast
q ed at the clerks behind the counter tina
if you would readily imagine. 's;alway
l. a great mental torture to 'em when
ii slowly count over the words one at
N time. 1t makes them squirm to thin
a. that their handwriting might not /
n plain, and that might roar'out the di
ID patch and ask them if it's:an right as
% read it. But I've too much consider;
" ton for human nature tO,do that; an
'. whenever see young fellow sidle int
II the office, cautiously graspa pen and e.
pertinent on half dozen blanks, my e,
n. perience tells me at once whats in IL
,e wind, and am careful to let him depa
to in peace through the side door in I'll
es shortest possible time"
10 And as the reporter was moving @
at the clerk picked up another blank ar
ry read it over softly to himself. The
ut was no. smile on his lips this time as
rs turned to the scribe and said slowly:
"Here's another message, side by si'
,ff with the little harhinger of gladness
ut read you moment before. It's only
I'd line, but there is nothing SO eloquent
d. death. Listen:
nd "'John died when the tide went O
VS. tonight. Detroit Free Press.
,s An Alabama Negro Killed by "a Bear.
inf Yesterday three negroes-Ned Taylo
ar Jim Robinson and Joe Sweeny-we
-, - L