The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-01-26
BRIGHT 81 IS.

EXPLORER STANLEY has evidently found him
sell. lie should now tie q rtring around his
niger, so as 10 remember where he is.-Roches-
ter PoSt-E Express.
OUR DEAR SISTER" said the Nebraska pastor,
mas gone 10 a better land-that is ii there be
any better land than can be found right here in
the Missouri bottoms ''-Terre Haute Express
A PHYSICIAN says that more wrinkles come
from laughing than from worrying. Young
women should remember this when they see
mans hat blow OF and 20 whirlng down the
street.-NorrtstOWR Herdd
IN TIE SouTH-Stranger- think the blacks
and the whites should be placed on the same
footing
Native-I don't see how that is possible, unless
about six inches are sawed off the feet of tho
blacks.-Ierns S0tiRgs
THEY OFTEN ARE-Mrs Muggns (reading)-
Every man gets the wife That heaven intended
for him.
Mr.. Muggins (musingly}-1t must be true, then,
that men are punished in this world for their
sins,-Neto York Weekly.
DocToR-What your husband needs, madam.
is change of scene.
Mrs. De Temper-Do you think he should go
off for his health?
We'll it doesn't matter which goes, you or
he. - fhttddelphic Record.
An Indiana court has decided that unless a
woman is pleased with her photographs she
need not pay for them Since this decision was
rendered forty five photographers have spilled
their chemicals out Of the window and left the
state. burlington Free Press.
PATER FAMILIAs dnterrupting)-You girls
shouldshx your minds on something higher than
dress.
Mary Apn-That is what we have, pa. We
nave got our minds fixed now upon couple OF
lovely high hats down an Mrs Feathers mill
merry rooms Yankee Blade.
A RATHER STRANGE AFFGICTIoN happened to a
Mlssoula couple who were sleigh riding. The
young mans right ear and the lady's left ear
were frosted, while the other two were not cold
at all. Why all four ears were not frosted is a
problem which has been submitted to the high
school class in physiology. Erchd1lge.
OPULENT BANKER-Hr De Smith, you have
served me faithful ly these many years, and on
this anniversary of the day you entered my en-
ploy desire to present you ths keepsake.
De Smith, accepting proifered envelope with
mingled emotions OF reverence and gratitude,
breaks the seal and diScovers-a photograph OF
the banker. Sir, y Ae gasps, all | can say is
that 1t Is very much like you. "-Bostot Pos.
MoNDAY-Jlm Blaine to be Secretary of State.
Tuesday-No J. b. on Harrison's slate.
Wendesday-The Piumed Knight to England
will be sent.
Thursday Blaine booked for railroad president.
Friday-The uncrowned king as minister TO
saturday-He will retire to private life in
Maine.
sunday-Helol Central! What's the matter
with Blame! Boston Globe.
FoOR SHOOrING.-AS we were returning to
our office from the Widow Smiths the other
evening 1--WE have been sparkling the widow for
several weeks past, and just as we came oppo-
site the old Indian fort, some person whose man
ners certainly need polishing w fired four bull
lets st us from revolver The intent no doubt
was TO Kill us. 1t took us about the milliOnth
part of second to realize this fact, and then we
opened out for run and made good our escape
We don't claim 10 be great shakes on shooting
but if we can't hit the editor and PROPRIETOR OF
great and growing weekly at distance of 20
feet once in four shots. will leave rizona
We don't claim to be Chesterfield but If our
manners permitted US TO hide away behind an
old wall and begin popping at a gentleman
without warning we'd expect to be mentioned
in the same line with hyena.-Arizona Kicker,
an Detroit Free Press.