, 1889-12-26
WIT AND WISDOM.
Tho Best Things Culled From Weekly
Papers.

wa hN~ w
Tho Best Things Culled From Weekly
Papers.
Creditors have better memories
than debtors.
The doctor follows close on the
heels of the ignorant cook.
Many man makes good repu-
tation on what Is not found out
about him.
The girl with the rosebud mouth
may have thOrns on her tongue
Exchange.
After a man gets thoroughly broke
he commences to mend his ways
Merchant Traveller.
A woman In Missouri boasts that
she has been led to the altar ten
times. She ought to know her way
now without being led.
Charles Lamb, when speaking of
one of his rides on horseback, said
"that all at once his horse stopped,
but he kept right on"
Some men enjoy the habit so
much that they would pick their
teeth carefully If they had nothing
but soup for dinner.-Atchlson
Globe.
Thanksgiving Echo-"After all,
the turkey had something to be
thankful for" "What?' "Why,
1t was the oyster that was put in
the soup"
81 understand you have just been
down to st. Louis.n Eyes; spent
three days there" "Did you see
any of the big bugs of the place?n
mo; went to u brand new hotcl.n
Judge.
It's all right to "call n spade n
spade but when you speak of red
headed girl you had better say
''auburn. ."-American Commercial
Traveller.
MOTTO FOR A MERCHANT
Honor and shame from no condition
rise,
Lay in stock of goods and advertise,
And in the business lottery take the
prize. Providence journal.
PASTE IT IN YOUR HAT.
When things are wry don't stop to brood,
For fntc in some capricious mood
May offer some apology;
Think in your times of roeless shad
OF all the toothsome fish you had;
Then tighten up your visago sad
And join in the doxology.
Jake-"I tell you what, Bob,
Stevens must be getting rich. "
Bob-"You don't say. What busi-
ness Is he in?" Jake-"He is i'm the
trunk business. But he has ten
sons and they are all baggagemeu
on the Crescent railroad. Harper 's
! Bazaar.
Teacher-"Johnny, where Is the
north pole?" Johnny-"I don't
know" Teacher-"Don't you know
where the north pole is?" Johnny
-"When DR.. Kane and Franklin
and Greedy hunted for 1t and
couldn't find it, how am | to know
where it is?'
Urgent tBusiness-Laura-Auntic
would | be justified in writing to q
young man who has never writer
to me? Auntie-Only on very I'M
portant business, my dear. Laura
We'll this Is important business
l want to marry him.-Terre Haut,
Express.
THIS is A LIBEL ON OUR CENTURY
"Where are you going my pretty
maid?"
"Into society, sir" she said.
"May 1 go with you, my pretty
maid?"
"If you've plenty of money, goot
sir" she said.
~ haven't a penny, my pretty
"I wish you good morning, SIR
she said. Puck.
Plain as Day-"What do yol
mean by long-felt want, Mr.
Bronson?" Why, that's very sim
pie. Felt, as you know, is mad,
from wool; so that long.felt wan
Is what we might term "a desire thai
is all wool and yard wide. ."-Har
per's Bazar.
Mr.. Gotham-"I.ive in Mime
apolis, eh? Pretty cold countr,
there, isn't it?n Minneapolis Mai
-"Cold?" "Yes. l understand
you have Ice palaces there" "Ii
Minneapolis? No, stree. YOUR
away of. We have corn palace
and tropical fruit shows in Mime
apolis. The ice palaces are in ST
Paul. New York Weekly.
GAS In a Looking Glass"-Do yol
know" said Algernon, "your fac
reminds me of mirror, for / can Sc
nothing In 1t but the truth" "Oh,
said Gertrude, ~ thought you wer
going to say that when you LOOKED
In my face you expected to see you
own" "Ehw said Algernon, ant
then IA great light came into his eye
and he cried: 'If you would be IN,
own" III WILL" said Gertie.--PucR
PROVIDENCE OF THE JESTER
Oh. would, among the millions
Complaining through the earth
More lips were slow to signing,
More lips were swift to mirth;
For none hath better mission
Than he Of rugged breast,
Who heartens up his fellows
With now and then a jest.
Judge.
Act of an Eccentric Great Man.
Boston Heraldl
There have been few more eccentr
| exhibitions In our history than tn
, signing of tho bail bond of Jetiorso
. |