St. Paul daily globe., 1889-05-14
Solomon Might Have Been
Perplexed, but Not the
Indians.
Three StalWapt Bucks, Each
Claims a Peculiar Par
. entage.
The Girl Stands in With the
Court and Gets a Per-
centage.

pOWcTS dIlu pTdCLlCcS OI CuIcc SCll-COtl-
stituted judges who have been sitting
in judgment on everything on the White
Earth reservation from skunk to
tornado. The story told how these
three greasy redskins, but one of whom
can be charged with enough enlighten-
ment to be able to make his mark or
grunt recognition to friend, dispensed
justice and law according to their idea of
it. The other two have never seen book
and would probably elicit surprise at
the sight of such queer animal as a
volume of the United States stat
utes. By a proper culture of
the spirit nursed by frequent draughts
of aqua vita and great cuds OF cheap to-
bacc0. the three gay old Indian bucks,
have managed to preserve the order of
their particular community of animals,
Indians and spirits. They carry out
the mandate of the great spirit, and
collect their court fees III advance.
They always adjourn court with row,
and open it upon the slightest pfeteXt,
it such proceedings would aid them to
collect another fee. We'll; as said, the
story pictured dusky young maiden
who had succumbed to the passions of
ii
wisely. That is, she was about to be-
come mother. Her liaisOn not only ex-
tended to the villainy of one buck, but
as future developments proved, to
three ranch dignitarieS, all of whom
were not 10th to admit the relation. but
seemed rather proud of the honor of
being the great and only cause of the
present condition of the budding maid
en-. Looking into the realms of the
future, the anxious young squaW saw a
life of shame and disgrace. Something
must be done, so she summoned the
Judge and had LothariO No. / arrested
for illegitimate parentage. A few days
thereafter, the gaping idiots upon the
bench were startled by the reappear-
ance of the girl and the demand by her
of the arrest and drowning-for such is
a specimen of some of the sentences
of the seducer No. 2, stating that he
also was interested in the coming event,
which by this time had grown to much
more than blossom of maternity.
Again the fees were collected and an
oOther villain was locked up with the
bronchos in the stable. The eminent
ftomahawk wielders were in high glee
at their prospective trial of the two
prisoners and bargained for an extra
supply of tobacco and hilarity OH the
strength of the fees which would be
garnered on that occasion.
The supply of spirits running low,
the Judge decided to convene court.
rAnd low! such court room. Blank
ank-blank-blank would be no clas-
,sifying adjective at all. Bucks. squawS,
,pappoOses, and all the other herbivo-
rouS cattle assembled to give such testi-
.,mOny as the learned tribunals would
permit. Swearing in the court room
was prohibited. and too liberal expec-
toration of tobacco juice on the judges
platform would be resented with a
mountainous kick upon the ultimate
,.area Of ones anatomy. Thus the trial
proceeded. The first buck prisoner was
dragged into court. then the second and
all manner of testimony was adduced
by the loqHaci0us witnesses. In the
audience, rose, another redskin
and standing upon the seat and raising
himself up majestically, he swore by
the great father and the grass that
grew on his dads Uranium, that he
was the father of the child, and was
then and there willing to marry the girl.
This new wrinkle of affairs was OBJ
jected to by the father of the girl, who
denounced the new petitioner as
horse thief and a liar. The father fur
ther declared that his daughter should
never marry such scrawny buck,
much less after he had the proud title
of being horse thief. These surprises
perplexed the judges SO that they de-
5clared that consultation in the stable
render their decision. Accordingly, the
distinguished flat-n0sed jurists re-
paired to the stable to fight it out.
While thus engaged, tistic discussion
was going on in the court room. The
disturbance was quickly quelled when
the austere trio appeared to pronounce
their conclusions. The senior judge,
arising with the dignity of barn
door, delivered the following verdict:
The court shuts up to meet again when
the much-abused child is born, and we
Z find that man guilty Of malicious inter-
course whom it most strikingly reSem-
bieS-he to be sentenced to marry this
woman and live with her three years or
be compelled to devour eighteen stuffed
prairie dogs month. The court then
extorted its fees and the crowd dis
perSed.
left. Since that time, March 18,
the girl has become mother. A
ridiculous phase has been added to the
case. There is now languiSh-
ing in the Ramsey county Jail a man
named William Saice, who is the indi
vidual referred to as having risen in the
court as the third claimant to the father
hood of the child, and who was termed
a horse thief by the girls father. He is
here OH charge of stealing fur over
coat from an Indian priest named
j. j. En-ne-ne- gah-bow (Standing
ArOund) on April 8. He is being held
for an appearance at the general term
of the United States court to be held at
WinOna next June. Saice is not bad
sdndian, but a bad buck who once before
sstOle horse from another priest and
skipped. On that occasion he was re-
taptured. and after standing trial and
living in the bastile some six months
Judge Nelson, Of this district of the
Emitted States court, suspended further
servitude. Through Saice, who loves
to recall the story, and United States
Indian Agent Bolton comes the finale
0f the story, which is in substance as
follows:
G. Shortly after the birth of the mongrel
youngster the avarici0us judges called
the multitude together again and en-
tered upon the task of declaring their
final decree in the matter of whom the
child belonged to. The squealing
pappOOse was lugged into court and
placed upon exhibition in the coal hod.
All eyes were centered upon it, and the
Judges were most scrutinous in their
efforts to discern a resemblance to any
Of the three men charged with its
parentage. Here again the judges were
at loggerheads. The senior squire said
he thought it looked like himself, but
the envy of the other judges was up in
moment and they c0ntradicted him
and said that the statutes would not
permit a judge to become party to a
case before him for determination. The
youngest judge swOre it looked like no
body, while his brother averred that it
had the semblance of ground hog. A
very animated wrangle ensued and still