Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1889-02-08
THE CHARMS OF NEW YORK.
A Graphic Description Of Metropolitan
Lie. with Illustrations.

| Lie, with Illustrations.
"You see, it is this way" said the
New York man as he was walking
along the street talking to friend
from out of town. New Workers
won't have anything but the best of
everything. This being the metropolis
of the western continent, we ore put
in position where we can have our
pick of everything, and you can well
believe that we take the best every
time You will notice this" he went
on as they just managed to get out of
the way of truck team on crossing,
got punched in the backs with the pole
of a furniture van, heard the
driver of an ice wagon swearing
at them and were well spat-
tered with the six inches of
mud on the pavement by hack team
being driven twelve miles an hour
you will notice this the longer you
stay here. Little annoyances that you
have been accustomed to having to
submit to you will see regulated in
New York. We reason like this" he
went on as he lodged around a couple
of garbage barrels and brick fell
from the sixth story of a new build
ing and cut notch out of his hat
brlm; our idea is this that if we de-
mand the best and stick to it, we will
get it. Of course, now in your town,
country village, you have some
rural advantages that we can't have,
but then we have numberless other
advantages that you can know moth
ing OF. New FORK, he ran on, as his
foot slipped on banana peeling and
a policeman threatened to arrest him
for being drunk, and a grocery wagon
horse took bite out of his coat sleeve,
New York leads in everything in this
country. 1t is not, of course, London
or Paris, but we manage things better
here
In the old countries, :" he continued,
as he lodged bobtail car that already
had blood on its wheels, jumped ten
feet to one side as the cap on an cleo
trio subway blew off with loud re-
port, and stood and waited for pro-
cession of ten trucks to pass, each one
of which spattered two quarts of mud
as it went over loose place in the
pavement; lover there the people
haven't got the energy they have here
and they don't demand the best like
we do, and SO they don't get it. Now
with us, he went on, as he rubbed an
elevated railroad cinder deeper into
his eye and felt hot water running
down his back from the same source,
and went up the dirty and crowded
steps, and the ticket seller refused to
take good quarter because it was a
little worn, and the ticket chopper
accused him of only dropping in one
ticket, and the guard slammed the
gate in their faces and swore at them
couple of times; with us we pride
ourselves on leading in everything in
this country, and have that reputation
and so have to keep it up.
This elevated road, he continued.
as the next guard yelled "step lively
there" and they crowded into a car
and hung on to each other because
there were already two men and one
woman suspended from each strap;
this road is something you won't find
anywhere else Instead of crawling
along IN street cars or paying exor-
bltant hack fares we have this to carry
us back and forth at rapid rate. As
said, New Workers demand and get
the best. We here the train ran
into another one, and the car ahead
fell into the street and the one behind
stood on end. "Sit still right where
you are on the window" shouted the
New Yorker from where he lay on the
roof with four men on him; keep per-
fectly still; the coroner will be here
inside of ten minutes. We have the
best system of coroner service in the
woodworking but the best satisfies
us, you know. Breathe easy and hang
on-youll never want to live any
where else after trying New York for
two weeks New York Tribune.