, 1889-02-17
CHAPTER

necessarily legal In tho others
Tn most curious, and those which differ
most arc the laws upon marriage and di-
vorco
II it Is easy TO get married in the United
States, it is still more easy to get unmarried
In the state Of New York, for substance, If
you go TO n hotel with a woman, and put
down "Mr. SO and SO and wife, on the regis
ter, tho law looks upon you as legally mar
ried to that woman, but tho marriage is not
recognized as valid in some other states. To
obtain n divorce in tho state Of New York
You must prove inidelity on the part Of your
wife; but just across tho Hudson, in the
state Of New Jersey, IL is TO be obtained on u
proof of cruelty or incompatibility Of char
meter. II this is not easy enough for you,
take the train to Chicago, where divorce Is
to be had for the asking, almost
Tho court OF divorce in Chicago, called by
the Americans "the divorce mill, decided
OSl CASES during tho year 1887.
This institution Is just as fourishing In tho
state of Indiana ms in Illinois. The Customers
j~okingly pretend that. us the trains roll into
the capital OF Indiana, tho porters cry out,
indianapolis, twenty minutes for divorcer'
50 that couples who may have fallen out on
the journey can part company for good.
Docs the husband snore or chew; has no n
disngrecablo breath, or n clumsy manner Of
kissing his wifel Docs that lady wear false
hair or teeth, give her tongue too free play,
or habitually take up the newspaper as soon
ms her husband shows signs OF dropping into
sentimontl All these ~ofTenscs are serious ones
before tho aforesaid tribunals.
Without troubling TO go and settle in Utah,
an American may set up a harem of legiti-
mato wives. Each lawful spouse might be n
concubino outside the state sho was married
in, but by carefully studying the laws of the
different states Jonathan could, II no pleased,
indulge in polygamy without fear Of being
prosecuted for IL.
| havo read in American papers divorce
cases that were really most comic.
When a will has TO be administered mat
tiers often become very mixed up, as you may
easily imagine. Who arc tho legitimate
childrcnl
OF course all these confusions mako work
for tho men Of law, who naturally hin
American legislation tho finest in tho world.
Tho city OF Chicago alone possesses seven
teen hundred and sixty-eight lawyers, all
thriving.
What a capital subject for nm opera boufre
might DO got from some of those Chicago di-
vorco cascsl What merry quid-pro-quosl
What amusing scenesi Choruses of lawyers
choruscs Of lawful wives, with the refrain:
W. aro Mrs. Jonathan, ira lar
"DAPPEN VS.. pAPPEN."
extracted from q Chicago paper the fol
lowing evidence, full of originality and
humor. Tho plaintiff is ut the bar, being
examined:
what is your husbands o~ccupationr
asked the counsel
"Hnbitual drunkenness, SIR" said Mrs
Dappen.
81 refer 10 your husbands profession"
"He made cigars"
Good cigarsr'
Occasionally"
Here counsel drew a cigar from his pocket
This, your honor, is one Of the d~efendant's
rignrs"
MARX it Exhibit A. " said the judge.
Had Mr.. Dappen any other professionr'
continued tho lawyer.
Not to my knowledge said Mr.. Dnppen's
vic.
"Never practiced as a dentlstF'
mot professionally
Now, Mrs Dappen, on your oath, did not
your husband extract six of your teethr'
Mrs Dappen looked timidly around. Mr..
Dappcn being evidently out of hearing, she
whispered, He did,
Did he administer gas, or ether, or my
anasthcticn
no, sir.n
Did he extract tho tooth one after the
oihcrr'
He extracted them all together
Had your husband any license to practice
ms a dentistT'
Il mover heard Of it. Ho used to say: 4
will allow you n dollar a day. Bring mo the
accounts every week, n II / ever find a
cent missing will knock your teeth out"
did he find any deficit in your ~accountsHr
"One Saturday night I could not balance
tho books. | was 10 cents short Without a
word my husband struck me in the mouth.
Six of my teeth were knocked out. swal-
lowed two"
HIVE you tho other four in courtTr
YES, sir"
MARK them Exhibit b." said tho judge.
Eventually the divorce was granted