Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-07-28

the set ACCOMMODATE TWO illcnuo VI AAS
Edward Bold, barrister in fair practice,
and his younger brother, student at Cha
ring Cross Hospital, one of the brightest,
cheeriest lads I ever knew. We had
small kitchen in common, and were minis
tered unto by couple of venerable ladies
Mrs. Swatman, globular spinster OF about
60, and her associate and assistant, widow
of mysterious age. These two excellent
personages were source Of vast entertain
ment to us. Mrs. Swatman would announce
with the greatest gravity, "We want some
new shirts" or I'VE shall need new great
coat this winter" or "Don't you think we'd
better get in some coals?" Speaking OF Ed
ward Bold, she once said to me: We've
been together seven years nowH j am
afraid that Mrs. Swatman regarded me with
mild contempt. She had "done for" barris-
ters all her life, and was possessed with the
notion that other men were for the most part
suspicious characters. Her misgivings re-
garding me were somewhat allayed BY. the
discovery that wrote for one or two news
papers and magazines; many of "the gen.
tlemen," as she phrased it, being engaged in
similar pursuits. She was, at all events. a
faithful, industrious and admirable old
creature. and, compared with the average
Temple laundress, q jewel among washer
women.
Her worthy ''book" was fearful and
wonderful sight. The handwriting required
as much and as serious study as would
have qualified me to decipher cuneiform
inscriptions with ease; and the theory of
orthography affected by the scribe was
whatever else might be said Of It-delight-
fully straightforward and unsophisticated.
"Kollurd he'd, /" ''stak, ""shuger," "corfy. :"
are examples that occur to me of an achieve
ment in this direction; and there was also a
mysterious item which cropped up every
now ana then under the name Of "faggits. "
Regarding this last, curiosity and a proper
sense of economy conspired at length to
make me request an explanation. Mrs.
Swatman," I said, show is it burn So
much wood? see half a crown constantly
for faggots; surely there must be some mis-
takep'
"Lor bless you, SIR" was her reply, with
an indulgent chuckle at my opacity, that
amt faggots, it's 'torgetsp"
Mrs. Swatman's assistant was queer,
undersized, shrivelled old person, who
looked as though she had been mummifed
in the time of the Pharaohs, and by magic
arts had been brought back to life. Whether
or not this were a true account OF her origin,
she was at any rate mat most inestimable OF
treasures, q willing servant. No amount Of
| trouble ever moved her to complain; on the
most tempestuous days she would trot out
on errands without q murmur; and she
would fetch the most extravagant quantities
| of bath water as spontaneously as if it had
| been so much beer for her own consump-
ton. You are not to infer from this COM
parison that she was addicted to the bever-
age referred to; both she and Mrs. Swatman
were thoroughly sober, respectable old
bodies. For my part, soon became their
| any suspicion how important part one OF
them was to play in a little drama of my
life
One afternoon Edward Bold came into nv
room to ask me whether 1 cared to go to
some private theatricals. Now, hold pri-
yate theatricals to be little better shan pub
| lie nuisances; nevertheless, after duly con-
sidering two possible contingent advantages
of the enterprise, decided that go would
| and in the course of day or two 1 received
| a card from Lady Barraeoot, at home,
Thursday, June 19, ;" and when the Thurs
day in question came around, I presented
myself at Lancaster gate.
The performance was to consist of an open
ing farce-its name has escaped my memory
and Mr.. Arthur Sketchley's comedy,
s'How Will They Get Out Of It?"-and
| that shall never forget. The farce bored
| me; the actors were imperfect and in look
| ing forward to the comedy which was to
| succeed, / rapidly came to the conclusion
| that it would be anything but a success, and
that ''they" never would get out of it. u
| But there is an end to all things, even to q
farce played by amateurs; and after some
tiresome delay, which an exhibition of py.
rotechnic pianoforte playing rendered still
more intolerable, the curtain rose on the
comedy.
was familiar with the piece, and remem-
| bered too we'll the original lcast-Charles
| Mathews and his wife, Mrs. Stirling, Frank
Matthews and his wife, Montafre and Miss
| Wentworth. Indeed, I had been present at
the rehearsal when the piece was originally
produced at the st. James Theater in 1864,
and 1 knew every bit of "business'' BY
heart; so that my forebodings on the pres
ent occasion were gloomy, and they were in
a large measure justified. The piece was
for the most part indiferently played; but
| one assumption was, as q well-known dra-
matte critic would say, adequate. The
part of Jerry Arnton, originally taken by
Miss Wentworth, was brightly and intelli-
| gently rendered by o young and pretty girl,
whose name, the bill informed me, was
| Mary Bruce. A fair Scotch lassie she was,
| with mass of auburn hair shot with gold;
a broad, fair brow, giving promise Of good
| sense; dark eyebrows and eyelashes, and Sc
rene blue eyes, through which looked forth
| the soul of frank and fearless maiden.
The nose was small and straight, the upper
| lip short and sensitive; the complexion
bright, and the whole woman wholesome,
! lightsome and delightful. She seemed to
| me, in fact, the perfection of all that is
feminine, and I made up my mind that
when the performance was over would get
| an introduction to her, and / lost no time,
accordingly, in asking Edward Bold
whether he would act as my sponsor.
Delighted, my dear fellow" was his re-
ply: "I've known her ever since she was so
high, and she's as good as the gold in her
hair. And, by the by" be added, as he
took my arm to lead me to her, "her father is
Campbell Bruce, the @. c., widower with
two children; his chambers, you know, are
on our staircase, first floor"
The necessary formalities were then gone
| through with, and in the course OF the evening
had several opportunities oftalking toMiss
Bruce; and succeeded (much to the dis
| gust of several ineffective young whipper-
snappers) in taking her down to supper. It
turned out that her brother, who was in the
navy, had once stopped few days with me
on my station in New Zealand-for had
/ been the victim of disastrous speculation
in sheep in that colony, and had succumbed,
with hundreds Of other unfortunates, to the
hard times which commenced in 1868 and
| eliminated in 1870. / may remark in this
connection (though said nothing about it
to Miss Bruce) that, with the exception of q
| life interest In sum Of $4,000, I had lost
every farthing I had in the world. Later