Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-12-14
CANNOT STAND THE STARE.
Scientific Way of Supervising the
Frce-Lunch Beat.

| AN oiu oaIpfoocioH VI tho iSS-
lunch fiend is a science in which 1 am an adj
vanced professor" said the saloon keeper near
the Capitol. 1T is only to be acquired by long
and discouraging experience OF the meaner
| elements OF human nature. The bar room cor
morant must be studied like any other objec-
| tionable creature to his WAYS and typical
| characteristics, in order that he may be gotten
| rid Of satisfactorily. He will succumb to the
proper methods of treatment Just as surely as
the potato bug will yield to paris green. You
| have simply to know how 70 attack him."
You have suffered, then?" suggested The
| STAR reporter.
Have /? Do not serve the most costly
| and elaborate free lunch in Washington?
| 'Wheresoever is the cargion,'-you know the
rest of the quotation. My lunch is intended as
a little hospitality for my friends and custom
ers; they are not supposed to come here for
| their meals, and very few of them abuse my
| Offering: Only now and then is there an ex-
| ception."
"A person, that is, who eats but doesn't
| drink y
GRATUIspUs COMMANDING.
''Not exactly. am not speaking of the dead
| beat type of fiend, but Of the fellow who drinks
| glass of beer; pays five cents for it, and Oh
the strength of that expenditure eats hearty
| dinner. Such customer will begin with a
| bowl of soup. follow that with lot of corned
| beef, help himself to quantity of beans and
| consume a dozen fifteen little fish cakes
IL
my profit comes in. A whole meal he gets and
a beer thrown in for a nickel; cheap enough
| for him. as you might say. but decidedly ex-
| travagant from my point of view. If many
patrons were permitted to do that sort of
thing should be seriously out of pocket"
"But how do you prevent it9 Do you put
| the man out?'
No. Ours is much more effective plan.
We give him the stare"
And what Is that, pray?'
al will eYp1aip Nv
serves the lunch is very quick at spotting a
| fiend, and such a fellow, once spotted is as
good as done for. He may as well quit without
unnecessary delay, for the shop will not rest
until he Is disposed of. Not word is said to
him; but the colored boy though waiting on
him otherwise politely, stares steadily at him
while he eats. as much to say, Are YOU never
going to quit2' He must be hardened case if
ne can stand that long; but if he does not seem
to be affected by it the bar tender, too, leans
| over the end of the bar while the
man is gobbling and directs his stare also upon
| the fiend. You will be surprised. perhaps,
when tell you that my good customers are ex-
| ceedingly keen at getting onto an Objectionable
patron OF the sort. They will turn to me, as
they stand in groups about the saloon, when a
mend begins on the lunch, and will say: Jim
here's another Of 'em! And every time that
individual comes in he will be guyed unmerci-
fully, though nothing whatever is said to him.
until he catches on at last and stays away As
last resort. in an extreme case, while the fiend
| is IN the midst of operations, myself will 20
| to the part of the saloon where the lunch table
is, take a stand near the stove and stare stead
| lily at the offender, while the waiter gazes upon
him likewise and the bar tender leans over the
end OF the bar and watches the bites 1 never
saw but one man who could endure that comb
| nation"
'What did you do to him?"
THE FIEND AT HIS WORST
''rll tell you. One day he walked in-he was
q 0na-lauOa1 fal1ow nd olx Ill
OF his entrance in advance by the thump,
| thump Of his crutch on the other side of the
screen at the door-and after taking his usual
| beer and paying cents for it, he took bowl
of soup and asked for a second bowl We had
known him to call for three bowls on one drink.
This time he was content with two before start
| ing in on the corned beef of which he took an
| indefinite number Of slices in succession. Then
he had big help of beans, and a plate of
thirty little fish balls, coming down from the
kitchen at that moment. red hot. he ate twenty
of them-as counted by the waiter-in such
haste that the bar tender thought he burned
himself and said to him: Pray, don't hurry,
sir But he never took any notice, and, after
| winding up with pickle or two, he was going
| out when touched him on the shoulder and
gently drew him toward the far end of the bar
| where there was nobody near
Pardon me. sir, said, taking out a PEN
Gil and scrap of paper, Il merely wished your
assistance in a small mathematical calculation
Certainly he replied, rather unwillingly,
leaning his crutch up against the bar.
-" I want you to help me figure out what a
dinner like that you have just eaten would cost
us see:'-and jotted the figures down as /
spoke-'two bowls Of soup, 20 cents; corned
beef, 20 cents; beans, 10 cents; twenty little
fish cakes, 80 cents. That makes 80 cents worth
OF food you have had. Will you kindly tell me
what you have paid for it?'
NO MONEY IN IT.
60 eta n frae lunch ien,t 40 "A r S,x
my beer
Yes it's free lunch; but it isn't a era-
tuituous gorge for every fve-cent customer.
HOW mnch 10 you suppose I make on the
weren't satisfied with draueht beer. Won Won
wanted the bottled sort. May be the profit on
your purchase was cents. So you are rs cents
ahead on the transaction. But where am /?
That's what l wanted you to assist me in fg-
uring out
"But when looked up to ask the cues
| ton" said the saloon keeper, ''the fiend had
picked up his crutch and started to thump,
thump toward the door,"
Perhaps the man was DOOR" observed Tur
STAR reporter,
ION the contrary, know him to be yery
wen on and to own considerable real estate,
1t Is curious thing, have noticed that the
worst free-lunch fiends of this kind are usually
altogether exceptional; my customers, as a
rule, respect my hospitality and they are quite
welcome to all they want-more than welcome.
in fact I wish them to partake freely Of what
have to give; but it is not agreeable to feel
that you are being beaten and it is not intended
TO oher square meal with every drink.
don't expect my patrons to live upon what
they get here. liberal free lunch is the best
possible advertisement for a saloon; people
tell each other of it and it draws. Not many
days after started this happened to be at
the other end Of the city, near the Treasury,
and dropped in at two or three bar rooms over
there. At each one Of them the proprietor
said Jim, hear you're setting no end Of a
hne lunch at your place And in each case
replied, modestly: It's not big lunch at ali,
but try to make it something fine; drop in,
dear boy, and sample it,"
Rambling, Rowing and Illuminating.
From the New York Sun
There is . certain man who IL continually
going back and forth ON the ferryboats between
Staten Island and this city. On board the boat
he has habit Of pacing up and down the
ladies' cabin to the great annoyance of some
and curiosity of others Of the passengers
man TO his friend . day or two ago.
"Harmless2 Why, that il DR.. Burchard."