Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1889-05-30

AAA ~ hAAutJ ONA
Government in a commercial way.
Show him the town and introduce him
to your mother. Should the Queen
ever play old sledge at eventide she
will find Col. New an excellent part
ner, yet always keenly alive to the i'm
portance of turning jack at the proper
time
"Col. New is scholarly man, yet
withal, simple and unassuming in his
manners. He is the most democratic
Republican ever knew. would like
to impress on you, also, the Importance
of cultivating friendly diplomatic rela-
tions with him. Heis the editor of the
indianapolis Journal, a paper whose
friendship means a great deal to q ris-
ing young Prince. Do not offend Col.
New, for he can injure you much if he
should take notion, especially in In
diana. Some day you are liable to be
King instead OF the one-faced nine spot
that you are at this time. When that
day comes, Bert, you don't want the
Indianapolis Journal down ON you. As
King of Great Britain and Mortgagee OF
Ireland you should have the press on
your side ere you begin to reign. If /
were in your place l would, on presen-
tation of this letter at the hands of Col.
New, Immediately open up friendly
diplomatic relations with America by
subscribing for the Journal for year,
including the Sunday edition. This
will do you no harm, but on the other
hand it will show that you take an in,
terest in us. If I could see you for a
few hours could give you some points
on the policy for you to pursue on as
suming the portfolio of King, which
would make your reign perfectly solid
with the people and give you steady
job as long as you live. Col. New can
tell you q good many things about it
and how to work your home conven-
tions and primaries in the interest of
harmony. He is the greatest man for
harmony you ever saw. If he cannot
I be harmonious he asks to be excused
from the game.
"Many years ago he played good
conservative game of poker, but when
he became newspaper man he came
out and took higher ground. You
might possibly again awaken his inter-
est in the game. 1 could not promise
Colonel New was the gentleman
who, many years ago, when the country
was also new and infested with bears,
and rattlesnakes were so plentiful that
q sober man took his life in his hand,
as you might say, sat up quite late in
the evening playing draw poker with
two of his friends and stranger who
was short one eye. The party played
pretty stiff game up to IL o'clock, it
is stated, and the gentleman with one
eye had all the stakes. At this mo-
ment Colonel New arose, and, putting
little machine oil on the mechanism
of large eight-pound revolver which
he had in his overcoat, laid the toy on
the table near him. Then tearing the
wrapper from fresh pack of cards he
said briefly, but with great warmth
Gentlemen, we will now proceed with
o new pack. I do not wish to charge
any gentleman with cheating, or to
call any names, and I will not do so,
but said he, taking pecan from his
pocket and cracking it with the butt OF
his revolver, If any gentleman should
again undertake to stock the cards OF
monkey with the tardy but natural
growth of straights and tiushes, we will
shoot out his other eye.'
$50 you will see that the Colonel is
a cool man at o trying time, and though
preferring generally to endure a great
wrong rather than to do one, he would
not hesitate, in case of difference be-
tween rival powers or hot words ovel
the relative values of crowned heads
to climb over the table and make yor
show your hand, or go home with ar
italicized nose on you.
II say all this for your sake, Mr.
Guelph, for you don't know what
morning you may be called suddenly
by the First Assistant Custodian of thu
Reigning Tools and told to jerk the
scepter over great nation. Keel
friendly with the American people ant
do the square thing by the press. Whe1
4 you are called upon to assume thu
throne, I honestly think it would dc
you no harm to run double-colum1
ad. in the leading papers for year O.
two, until you felt secure as King
then you could gradually order ou
these ads. and call attention to you
reign by means of announcements OF
the fences.
with these remarks I will close
thanking you in advance for any cour
tesy shown to Col New, and hoping t.
hear from you at your earliest con