Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-11-06
THE PESKY cOCkRoACH.
A Word About tSo Printing-Office Posts
 and Their Habits. |

 Get even with 'em9 Get even with cock. roaches-a thousand or so of the peskv things that can eat more, run faster, jump further and be more persevering than I | cana Tell me how may, remarks writer I in the Toledo Blade, and am under lasting obligations to you. Show me the means of delivering my desk and its belongings from the tyranny of the devastating hordes, that may be able once more to look upon my personal property without first putting to flight few thousands of the intruders and disturbing the nests where loving mothers are rearing with tender care new filters of reaches.
 The coclSroach and his affinity for the as- sociations of newspaper offices are we'll an! too well known among the toilers at the desk. His ambition to lead literary life is sublime, and his willingness to begin journalistic career at the lower round of the ladder and gradually attain the pima cle of the tripod is worthy of emulation. But alas! while his persistence is, in one respect, marked characteristic, his gen eral policy is vacillating, inconstant, fuct- uating, cratic, deSultory. He sticks to the business, and doesn't seem to know why.
 The voracity of this creature is his pre- dominating trait. He will feast from the paste pot until that supply is gone when uC VI III uCSOtc HIS, DcSb GuCIRltS lOWdIu cat ing the color off the cloth covered books. In eXtremities he will eat and relish things at which more fastidious noses would be ele- vated in scorn. Feed him high priced poi son that is warranted sure death to his kind and he thrives amazingly. Stuff him with arsensic CT strychnine and he becomes cor pulent, white, more aristocratic and at the same time more dangerous as atlavoring in- | gredient for restaurant pies; but he still | 1tx-nc b5,1, ,.I.> 1>1 sumes a hue that should make him popular on St. Patrick's day, morning or evening, | but he will hanker for more. Let him eat | cayenne pepper 10 his satisfaction and he beccmmcs red and highly spiced, but suf- | ferS apparent inconvenience He will, in fact, e-.t any thing, and from motives | best known to himself, as sume the color of l his diet.
 He won't die and 10 experienced man will | knowingly consent to mash his offending body. Sometimes people bite them in two, but that is only when the reaches have pre- viously been asphexiated in sandwich and are oblivious to pain. Hints, bribcs and en- treaties i3;.vc no moro effect upon the per tinacious pests than does cold poison.
 That is why the cocaroach stays. He stays with us, c:.ts paste as a steady l thing and often secures the remnants of some cae's cold !Unc:i as a piece de resistance.
 
 | his relatives have squatted in desks and | drawers; he continues to play havoc, and ! unless he fines q box of matches convenient 1 by which he burns himself out of house and home he provides haven for himself and posterity. The inccndarsm with which he is often charged is no doubt due more to | carelessncsS Tn the use of matches than to a malicious desire to perform mischief. | Strange antics the cockroaches arc ac- credltsd with i'll ttc stilly hours, when no ono is near to offer molestation. That they play prankS with the manuscript of con- | tributors is strongly suspected. and their | familiarity with Constant Reader" '.Pro | Bono Pubiico," ''Neritas" and others often leads them into bacchanalian orgies over heaps of written pages. Spring poems and 1 recipes for sure death to cockroaches are thelr special delight, when, with the ex- change editors shears and the sporting ed itor's shoes, they may show their cen tempt for the tyre and the liar.
 Reminded that 1 started out to ''get even" for grievances against the cockroach, find I have finished without saying any thing ill of him. Even though I could, with q clear conscience, wage d war of eXtermination on him and his kind, 1 can not malign him.