New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-04-07
SOMETHING ABOUT CRANKS.
SOME QUEER SPECIMENS KNOWN TO NEW.
WORKERS

A crank, according 10 IaWOuS physician WIN u0S
madc speciality of mind diseases, is person whose
mind deyIates in some one or more notable respects
from the ordinary standard, and yet whose mental
processes are not directly at variance with that stand
ard.D
crank therefore is not necessarily insane.
man may attend 10 business, be a prominent MEMBER
of church, kind, provdent clever, and yet when no
possesses distinctive popularity IT at once sets
him apart from other people who are perfectly pal
anced ard he is more or less OF crank according to the
absurdty of his popularity and the hold 1t possesses
over him.
There are cranks Of many varieties and they are all
about us. We read Of them In the daily papers, we
know Of them among acquaihtances, and we laugh
OF or pity them the case may be-
clergyman in the West seized with a rhyming
mania. Every request made in imprompiu
rhyme, and he began TO deliver his in q high
flown doggerel. Except for this he perfectly
sane IN every way. His friends at length persuaded
him 10 lay his case before Dr. Hammond, and ac-
cordlngy he wrote him the following letter:
" Dear Sir, If this you will allow me to call you,
7 write to inform you that my friend, Mr.. Balou,
Has advised me to see you In regard TO my health
II my means will admit, for have but small wealth.
I'm preacher with little OF this worlds goods
Beyond small salary and little house In the Dack-
shall leave here on the fourth that IS Wednesday next
And viii be in your city II by railroads not vexed
On the following Saturday and hope there you to meet
At your city residence in Fifty fourth-st"
His first words as he entered DR.. Hammonds ofhce
the day named were
Good morning, Or. Hammond, hope that you arc
I've come a long distance my story TO tell
They say / am Insane but that's an inaniy,
I've rhyIning inspiration but that's not insanity"
Another patient visited him and sat quietly talking
for short time Suddenly she walked across the
room and overturned a chair, after which she re-
sumed her seat and talked quietly and nationally
as before.
"why did you throw over that stOol7' asked DIR.
Hammond
Il don't know was the answer.
DO you know that you did throw It down"
sob yes, know"
"Then why did you do It ~
al was obliged to. / cannot tell you any more
had wish do IT, but 1t lrritaed me, and after
had thrown It down felt perfectly sStsAod. This
often happens with me-"
Another girl who was not insane and entirely free
from any hereditary faint, and was haunted by a
singular verse:
" MY father and mother were both insane,
And inherit the dreadful STAIN
Ny grandfathers: grandmothers, aunts and uncles
We're lunaucs all and had carbuncles.'
Night and day this verse pursued her. Going about
her duties and pleasures she mentally hummed It to
every she had heard, sometimes emphasizing
one word and sometimes another, sometimes fast,
sometimes Slow and with every conceivable kind OF
variation. Often when spoken TO she would wait to
mentally finish line before replying.
" CranHs,' said young doctor VINO was Tor some
time house surgeon In =" The Retreat" in Virginia
arc as numerous as the flowers Of spring l knew
one young woman who was well balanced except for
certain wish cruelty The flesh, which led her to do
the most unhear Of things. She was very wealthy
and one time when she was III she requested To be-
taken to a hospital and placed In bed between two
paupers. Nothing could make her sec the folly Of
her wish, and she her own mistress she vas
obeyed. Another patient Of mine had such an
aversion TO dirt that a speck upon a window pane
would almost throw her into commissions. She FIRE
Quently spent three hours at q time washing her
hands; she would take no money unless 1t was en-
closed IN an envelope, and would not touch chair
or table unless her hands were gloved"
Another physician tells OF man who never buys
any article singly. He may only want one book, but
ap Irresistible impulse makes him buy two or four
half dozen, and frequently copies of the same
work. He may only require one umbrella stand, but
two or three to BIO sent homo and they must
be- reegated TO the garrett either until his fancy
for umbrella stands has faded to be replaced by some
thing else hardware music stools, as the case may
be- This man. by the way, is at the head Of flourish
ing business house. and he is considered sensible and
thoroughly practical except for this weakness which
has earned for him the nickname Of General Plu-
rality.r
good old lady who born with silver spoon
In lher mouth has all her life envIed poor women
their washtub To do ones washing she considers
human being This Is not one Of tho fsneles Of old
age for II has been her pet hobby all her life Now
she sits propped up in pillows all day long, and the
only way to induce her TO take her medicine is 10
place a dolls wsShtub on the satin coveret and let
her trlae with few pieces Of muslin on hex miniature
washboard
Every ply sIcan, and indeed every person occupy
Ing public position is familiar with the crank pos
sessed Of lecrwritIng fever, the epistolary crank
who ghtS in sending closely written sheets of fools
cap paper busy people subjects which frequently
they can't make head or tail Of.
Here few extracts from the scrap-book OF an
eminent oCulIst In this city
"New-York, Jan. %, 1882.
Dear Sir: On December % last had the misfort-
une to brpsk my artificial eye. The absence Of my
folks IN the country this winter; the fact that had
been unemployed for two months and was without
ready money, together with an indebtedness OF two
dilemma | concluded to deprive myself of the consol-
alton which music affords, l. e., my organ"
Then follows a tedious account of the amount re-
qulred for storage aud he continues:
The Goth Of January is fast approaching. Being
shall forfeit the instrument dare not appeal 70
my folks. No; they gave me the organ, which Orgi-
nally cost $255 wide enclosed cut, style EJ.'
TWO pages further he modestly requests the
physician to release the organ for him.
long aud wearisomc letter nom man with whom
this physician was slightly acquainted ends with the
following choice extract
Il went to Colorado two years ago and spent a
year Doctor Ton account of domestic lnfellciy Pm
sorry 10 say Doctor My wife then went TO a divorce
state and procured divorce from me. simply
thought to make her miss me. Doctor and awaken
her affection. In this / was disappointed. ] re-
turned to my home when my urgent appeals appeared
futile. / have been very lonely at times. But that
Is passing of"
In another long work Of art youth expresses him
self I'm this ingenious fashion:
"Thus hearing OF and approaching your great
knowledge and consequent power thought would
write 10 YOU am working at present In grocery
store, but my ambition In life Is TO BIO doctor
Now 70 you could have me in your office would
worf very hard for small compensation and lesson
in medicine. Hoping you VIII be kind enough 20
answer this letter before the end Of next week VIII
now come TO a close"
Hero Is a letter tnged with CHASTITY humor
upllto the preceding ones 1t is short and can be
quoted in FIJI!
b,, S1I,e Nevv-York von