Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-06-14
NO USE TO TRY.
Young Married Couples Can't Con-
ceal Their Happiness.

Young Married Couples Can't Con-
ceal Their Happiness.
1t is n Pullman porter who is talk
ing to AN attentive scribe.
Hardly week goes by" says the
porter, that | don't see n bridal
couple just starting out on their honey
moon. | don't exactly know how /
can tell them, but they are as plainly
marked TO my eyes as II they had the
words bride and groom stamped In
big letters on their foreheads There
is something about them that gives the
whole situation away; had of cling
MISUNDERSTANDING air. OF
course, | have made Il mistake now
and then; but it is very seldom | do,
and I've found out, after changing NY
mind two or three times, tEat L
was right after all, though certain ap-
pearances were against il. We gener-
ally have II test which never fails, and
when doubtful party comes along we
/ spring it on them just TO be sure. you
know.
whats the test? Well, I'll tell
/ you. Not many weeks ago couple
/ got into my car and sat down very
quietly in their armchairs as il they
/ had been used TO ii all their lives.
! These didn't seem TO have the bride
and groom air about them at all, and
from external appearances they might
have been brother and sister or mar
ried for years, but still there was "A
something there that made me sus-
/ picious, SO when | saw them together
] went TO the news company's boy and
/ says: Bill here's douht.al party;
get out the sample copies.
$50 Bill got his tests and started
through the car. He handed books 70
everybody, and when he came to the
suspected party he took out of his pile
two little books and said so nearly
everybody could hear him: Very use
ful books, sir; hints on housekeeping
ana hints TO newly married people.
Only twenty-five cents.
THAT did it. The girl got as red rs
n rose and the man blushed and said "a
weak sort of 'N-n-n-no' Then they
looked at each other and sort Of snick-
cred, and | caught him full in the eye
and smiled a sweet smile, giving him
respectful wink at the same time. 1t
Was all settled in minute, and there
was no doubt about il. Well, he took
ii very good naturally. and asked me
afterwa d how in the world he had
given himself away-he couldn't i'm
aginc. ! made believe we could
always tell. and talked so nicely he
gave me n dollar when ! got through.
There are plenty OF other give
Always by which | can spot Il bride and
groom, and they are as safe generally
rs the test. One day couple came in
the car-which. by the way, was jam
fui-an the moment they entered il
was plain as day that they were newly
welded. | passed by them once or
twice, a1i tn IN went in my closet and
got the dustpan and brush. | walked
right up TO where the bride was sitting
and busted up painful of rice that lay
on the floor around her IN complete
circle. Well, if the people in that car
didn't laugh, I'm another.
THE custom of throwing rice after
q bridal couple always makes it I'M
pleasant for the party, ~ lots OF rice is
almost sure 10 stick TO their clothes,
hats, 3nd in their hair. About the
funniest rice thing | ever saw was that
which happened in my car just two or
three weeks ago. A couple came in.
and the test revealed TO me that they
were bride and groom. They didn't
seem TO take kindly to it, however,
and we couldn't get any satisfaction
out of them at all. BY and by the
man said To his wife: Seems to me
this umbrella is not rolled up very
nice.
"Fhen he carefully unrolled it, and,
being! out came three or four pocket
fulls Of rice all over the seats and floor
Their friends had rolled up lot in
side the folds of the umbrella, and.
next to the young man | heard tell
about, who. when he went to sign his
name in hotel register, dropped q lot
of rice on the book when he took off
his hat it was the most binding thing
l ever saw. n-Philadelphia Record.