Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-15
WONDERFUL.

Four hunters fired simultaneously at rabbit that keeps on running, and they ask altogether: 1T wonder who missed that timeg"-Texas Siftings.
 There is said to be a veterinary surgeon in Albany who has grown so expert that he can tell the age of rake by looking at it's teeth. Burlington Free Press.
 There is something touching in the way in which man seated on bis front doorstep at o'clock a. m. can sing f'Out in the cold world alone. e."-Merchant Traveller.
 "I-aw-wahnt tie, doncherknow, to match my eyes,"
 "Let me see. Blue eyes and-er-sorry, sir, but our blue ties with red edges are all sold. Have some in next week."-Harper's Bazar.
 Jeweller-The inscription you wish to have engraved on the inside of this ring, if understand you, is tMareellus to Irene." Young Man (with some embarrassmente Yes, that's right. But-er-don't cut the s'Irene" deep.-Chieago Tribune. The cape ovsrcoat-whict we are credibly informed is so called because it will cape off l the cold-has fulfilled it's mission so successs fully this winter that cold weather doesn't dare come near us-or hadn't dared to up to the time of going to press. Boston Tram script.
 Little son (who is recklessly lounging around because his pa won't let him go skat- I ing)-Pa, what do people mean when they say green Christmas makes fat graveyard Pa-They mean, my son, that in mild | weather the ice is very thin.-Philadelphia Record.
 Customer Here's something in my chicken salad, waiter, that looks good deal like | feathers.
 l Waiter-Dat cahn't be possible, sah. Customer-Why not! Waiter-Kase calves don hab no feathers. The Epoch.
 | Mrs. Overtheway Hooking out of the win dow)-It's wonderful how .he men flock to l Mrs. Cleverhesd's o'clock teas. thought ! they detested that mild beverage. | MT. Overtheway-So they do, but old Clev- | erhead serves an incomp parable punch in 8
 side room.-New York Sun.
 Mother" said the dutiful son of medi- | um after an interview with paternal slip per, "why are you like the Electric Sugar
 swindle?" ''Come here this instant" she
 reached for that slipper again. Because l said John Henry, as he bolted for the door | ''you are 8 trance parent fraud. ."-Bostor Post.
 Wife-"John, I suppose you have some l money saved up, haven't you?" John-"Not
 a cent" "Why, Johnl It is year since you stopped drinking and you have worked
 like slave every day since" ..That, | true" "Where is your money, then," ssTht
 money saved by swearing off I had to loan
 to old friends who didn't swear of. ."-Omahs Herald.
 "He was a man," feelingly observed
 Southern Illinois paper, in alluding to al
 absconding embezzler, "who possessed th' goodwill of everybody in the establishment
 where he had been so long employed. ant
 when he went away it was discovered that h.
 had taken about everything in the establish
 ment with him except the goodwill. ."-Chi
 cago Tribune.
 An Oxford County man, notorious fo
 beating down, one day went into a market t.
 buy small piece of liver. Glow much?
 asked the man. sI will make you a pressn
 of that,' said the butcher. The man put ol
 his most knowing look, stepped back. rubbed
 his hands together, looked the butcher squar
 in the eye, and said: "Ain't that rathe
 high?"-Norway (Me.) Advertiser.