The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-10
HUM0R OF THE DAY.
"Bound in calf Veal.

| S"uShe VI tiio ny llUut.
Two physicians are paradox.
The burning queston-Smoke.
Fireside companion The poker.
A loan tellow-The pawnbroker.
Unpopular preserves-Jim- jams.
| A writ of attachment-A love letter,
Old maids know what mis-spent Ii
means.
The oldest and n ost inveterate smoker
in history is Nesuvius.
1t is the astronomer who most fire.
quently rises to observe.
When man doubles his fists you can
hardly say he has four hands.
The man who lives from hand to
mouth should not have far to 90 for his
dinner
To make Russian name--imitate the
"tchug" of bull frog, give one snee
and say ski"
Honor and respect the busy bee.
Once full, he makes straight for home
-New York Neaos.
A young New England baby was
named William after his father, who was
bilious. -Harper's Baaar. .. ...-
A barking dog is the most courteous
OF all animals. He makes his bow to
every passer-by. = Bingiamton hepub-
lican.
Money can slip through pretty small
hole sometimes. A BROOKLYN man lost
considerable sum lately through pew
rent.
All the street cars have sign "no
smoking" and yet any conductor will
helpa woman to a light.-M0" Tors
World.
A good many of the cashiers who are
settling in Canada are those who have
neglected to do any settling over here
Nsao York Neos.
Woman Ito tramp)-"How's the soup"
Tramp-"Tain't quite strong enough,
ma'am. l wish you would wash few
more dishes in it."
Waiter-"You want frogs, eh?"
Guest-'.Not zee whole animaiIe, | want
zee, vat you call him-zee drumsteeks.
-Philade ptia Record.
Brown-"Did you dispose Of that last
lyric you wrote2" Young Byron-"O
yes, l got it off on the publishers for a
song" Yankce Blade.
Duluth people say that that city is
growing so rapidly that, sitting down IN
the suburbs, with the city against the
skyline, you can see it grow.
at requires only two things to run a
successful campaign, sad the politi-
clan. "And what are theyl" asked a
bystander. 'Dollars and sense"
Tramp, picking up five cent piece
"a bloody nickel, hum! Wasn't nothin'
but Jonah all my life. Anybody else
but me a pick'd up that nickel and it a
been quarter, sure" (Sighs).
Shakespeare was slightly mixed in his
"seven ages" 1t is the "whining
school boy" whom the maternal eye has
detected in some fragrant act of dis.
obedience that ''shifts into the slippered
pantaloon.'
Leader of the Boggsville male quintet
to editor of the Boggsville beraid-
"What can we do to interest the public
in our organizations Editor without
looking up)--"Disband." ~ Darlington
Free IresS.
A baby girl in Missouri has been named
Rainbow. SIXTEEN years hence, when
she is canght in a summer shaver, size
should feel very much at home, although
she would then be little rain deer
Noris.ocn HeraM.
They say the German Emperor
Is spoi.ng to pitch in;
He sharpens up MS spurs and longs
To make the sawdust spin.
IVY no wants to pit cock against
The Bantam of Berin!'
Huntington Free Press.
Lawyer-'So that is the entire list of
your debts2" 1nsolvent Manager-"Oh,
no; there are many other little items"
you want me to add
them in dctailW Manager-tNo; Just
say, for further particulars see small
bills. ~. imerica.
An exchange wants the name of the
man who invented the wheelbarrow;
but what many more persons crave is the
name of the man who lets his wheel
barrow stand in the middle of the side
walk after dark. The latter is more
deserving of death. Nnrristo@n Herald.
"Did that lady buy anything2" asked
the jewe,er of his new boy, as the lady
in question left the store, apparently in
4 temper. g. he did not. She asked
ne for an old gold breast pin, and l
asked her if she took this store for a Junk
'hop Then she went out. "--Je9tler's