New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1889-06-19
a Dangerous Experiment,

Z IN Il q
A woman. whom she once met on
the train, told Lydia Jackson Lamp
here how she kept her husband from
smoking says Burdette in the Brook
.lyn Eagle. On our wedding day.
she said: 81 made what I called
declaration of principles 80 my hus-
band. | said to him that it was my
purpose to make his conduct my
guide in all respects; that in our
family there would be no separate
standards and whatever he would
think right for himself should be
right for me- You see what was
coming Gone evening when supper
was over, the shades drawn and the
lamp lighted, and we were seated for
an evening Of reading or sewing,
when my husband took up his pipe
for an evening smoke. Seeing this,
calmly drew from my pocket pipe,
which began to I'LL with tobacco
exactly as he was doing. AS he pro-
ceeded, SO did I. cody scratched
a match, lighted the pipe and took
Whit. Well, as the woman told
Lydia the story-the husband, of
course, gave up. Good story, as far
as it goes, but | can't help thinking
what, oh, suffering sisters, what
would have happened if that kind
hearted husband had not relented,
but he had kept on smoking, and
permitted -inyited--nay, urged his
wife to join him? What kind Of an
evening would she-have enjoyed?
Oh sisters, never no matter what
Lydia Lamphere's friends tell you,
never try that cure on your husbands
your respective hus stands, that is.
1t won't work with all men. 1t
would cure one of you of smoking;
thatI am sure OF, but it wouldn't be
him. You may safely try it, if you
are fond of excitement of a rather
limp and stringy kind; it won't kill
you even if you do take your first
smoke with briar pipe and niger
head tobacco. But you can produce
the same effect upon yourself with a
milder drug. / tremble especially
about the shoulders-when I think
what awful scenes may be precipitat-
ed in happy homes by a fallacious
therories taught in this story. Why,
sister, / have seen a great, strong,
rough boy, Il year old, so wrought
upon by mild 5 cent cigar, not
more than half smoked, that he has
stretched himself supinely upon the
cold bosom of the earth and waited
with an unconcern that would
chill your blood for death, his father
or the doctor which would get the
first whack at him. And when you
think of a groWn-up woman, a mar
ried woman, mother of children may
be, starting in on a pipe-well, I
don't want to think of it, that's all.
I've got to go to bed some time to-
night, and | can rest justas well with
out the nightmare as can with
it and not Sholler," till I wake up the
whole house. But / can not close
without a parting word of warming.
Don't you listen to Lydia Lamphere
on this question, for she's your
friend, and l don'tWan't you to turn
against her You take the advice Of
man who knows more abot pipes
than you do about husbands, and
don't you go to smoking in order to
break him Of it. Even ifyou don't
die; you might learn to like it as we'll
as hedoes, and then wnere wiIlyou beif
he should want to quit? Don't you
smoke pipes; you chew gum, if you
must do something wicked. You can
worry the immortal life out of him
with that if you'll only keep at it,
and talk and chew a great deal at
the same time. That'svery effective.
You keep the quid and your jaws
going, and he'll give up drinking,
chewing, smoking, betting, ewe-no,
he'll grow worse about that, but
he'llgiveup everythingelse. Unless, in
a furious spasm of insanity, he
breaks your jaws with a cricket bat
and jumps off the bridge at the end
ofthe of third week.
------O-o-O----