Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1889-06-13

HE mantle OF charity m Deen worn
thin to cover SO many sins.
AND now the frog takes to his hops
just as the winter gets on his bier.
AN illustration of simple faith Eat
ing sausages in cheap restaurant.
WHEN man gives up newspaper
work he ought to go into the express
business.
MISS WEERy-Ah! il must be nice
to be clever. Mr.. Konseet-Yes, you
have no idea.
BROTHER TALMApGE says that
Adams second son was the first Abel
bodied man on record.
The man who was lost in admir-
alton of woman afterwards found
himself in love with her
Mrs. BRowN-"If you had only lis
tened to ME-" Mr.. ,BIown-"Pd
have been talked to death long ago"
PROSE- poem by the collector: For
of any two words of tongue or pen the
warmest and coolest are "come again."
SHE-How do you suppose the apes
crack the hard shells of the nuts they
pick? He-With q monkey wrench, of
course.
MARRIAGE can't be much of failure
after all. Every married man keeps
his own carriage-if he happens to
have baby.
IT is not the pigs in clover that
trouble President Harrison so much as
the desperate efforts of the hogs to
get in the trough.
AT the operetta-De Hope-These
girls march in excellent time. lie
Bloke-Yes, they have clocks on their
stockings, don't you know?
any idea of a moral hero" said
Whackby, as man who speaks what
he thinks" "No," said Cooler: "it's a
man who speaks what you think.
SHE Grandma is SO years old, and
she danced minuet here to -nighs. He
| Gust from the Why, she is
almost old enough to appear in the
ballet
"WvEs should never conceal any
thing from their husbands" says a
writer. If this advice were followed
ont it would create a revolution in femi-
nine pockets.
Mr.. PARvENNEw-Have you "Pro-
metheus Unbound?" Clerk-Yes, sir.
In calf or Russia leather binding? Mr..
Parvennew-C you hear, you con-
! founded idiot? i said a9lbound
$1,000 VIZ nHve midsummer resort mere,
sir!" at looks So" "Music evenings,
parties, and round dances" II don't
care for the round dances. How about
the square meals p Chicago Ledger.
FIRST Oklahoma boomer Ito we'll
dressed settler)-So you've made for
tune since you came here, have you !?
How in thunder did you do it? Well
dressed settler Qaconically)-Tm the
| Coroner.
OLDMANsoN--Have you proposed to
Miss Southmayd, as you said You
should? Northcote-Yes, / proposed
| yesterday-by note. Oldmanson-Th
no e went to protest. Her father got
hold of it.
EDwINA-And you were really, truly
true to your little wiley while you
were in Paris, Algernon? Algernon
| (firmly) AS true, sweetest, as the camel
to the eye of the needle. Edwina-Oh,
You darling
BRowN-Your teacher can't be such
q mean man as you make out. notice
his son has all the toys he can possibly
need. Little Johnnie = Why, dad,
those are what his father takes away
from the other boys.
II SAW you at the opera last evening,
Mr.. Smythe. Did you enjoy it ?"
"Yes, very much," Which part did
you like best ?" "Oh, don't know ex-
actly. 1t struck me as being the pref
test when they all wore pink"
"YoU will let me go to your we'd
ding, will you not, dear?" said one girl
to another. Upon my word / can't
promise Ny folks are in such a rage
about my wedding that am not sure
they will let me go to it myself.
THREE A. M say, offshur, ishn't
that high-stoop brown-stone house
mine? "Yes, Mr.. Saunders, that's
your house." swell, 1 wish when it
(hic) comes this way gain you'd stop
it."
Mrs. DE STANG (making q college
call)-I trust, Rupert, that you're not
neglecting the social training that goes
so far to make gentleman. Her SON
BY no means, mother. / devote two or
three hours day to Marquis of Queens
berry rules. Mrs. De Stang-I'm So
90 glad.
"DEAR me, this is so annoying !" said
Mr.. Haggerty, impatiently. "I've
looked all over the house for my pipe,
and can't find it anywhere" "Did ycp
look in your mouth ?" asked Mrs. Hag-
gerty, regarding him with q smile. "No,
by Georgel And it's there, too" said
Haggerty.
DHoNKEIGH = Say, Crimsonbeak,
wouldn't you like to have some of the
wealth that's lying at the bottom of the
sea, from various wrecks? Crimson
beak-I should say j would, but, you
see, they're like old maids. Dhonkeigh
Like old maids, how? Crimsonbeak
They're unclaimed treasures.
THE SPRING POET swoRE.
The poet wrote OF the buds and flowers,
And then, to wiring his soul
Came hail and snow in heavy showers,
And blasts from the Arctic Pole.
Then the poet threw aside his pen,
And his hair he wildly tore:
Il never will write an ode again
To the smiling SPRING. he swore.
And when the editors heard him swear,
They were all delighted 80,
They threw their hats up I'm the air.
And they laughed, -Hai hai hoi hoi"