San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-09-04

A Plea for the Art of ConversatiOn-But
the Ladies Must BE Good listeners as
Well as Talkers-Originality of Talent
That Is Born with Us.
Most women are neither angels nor fiends,
but something about half way between,
though there are some who incline good
deal from the perpendicular to one side or
the other. Well, without this variety life
would be tame indeed. They are mysteries
to some people, and sometimes t. themselves;
surprises, too And as for their character
being formed at any age, as people will tell
you, it is all a mistake Character is chang
ing every day; forming, perhaps, but GER
tainly changing, as every thinking woman
will tell you. New experiences develop hid
den qualities that were hitherto unknown
and entirely unsupported. The quiet, serious
woman, when thoroughly aroused, will as
toniSh every one by her actions, as much as
the calmness of an irritable person in time
of great danger
How can a woman know how she will feel,
or what she will do, in certain circumstances
They may say that they would do this or
that, but there are ten chances to one that
when the hour comes they will do just there
verse; There is not much that is new in the
way of experiences, sensations, passions,
thoughts or feelings, except as they are new
TO the individual
SOME ARE ORIGINAL
The amiable, sweet little women pass
through life without being perceptibly affect
ed by any internal tempests but it may be
because they have great self control. There
are hidden possibilities that may not always
be read in the face, nor guessed at until the
hour arrives that brings them forth. The
most angelic face ever saw belonged to
girl of 10, and, to look at her face, one would
not believe that she was mischievous romp.
Sweetness Of disposition she had, and just one
month after | saw her she met her tragic
death by fire with wonderful heroism.
The women who always say and do just
what you feel sure they are going to say and
do, are not brilliant companions; novelties
and surprises startle and please. | know a
woman who said of a certain young girl that
she enjoyed her because she never knew what
she was going to say next. The girl was
neither coarse nor vicious in her converse
ton; she was original. 1t is easy enough to
cultivate certain kind of hippant repartee
that passes for wit, but originality must be
born in one; it cannot be cultivated. Wo-
men who are not original know this, and
they freely steal the original ideas Of other
women in dress and household decoration, as
we'll as those concerning other matters, and
pass them off as their own
This is so frequently done in society that
woman often forgets and exhibits to another
woman as her own the very idea that she has
taken from this same woman. Such an in
&c Of |
tify from actual experience. However, in
social life such things are Of small conse-
1uence. 1t is only in the Everlasting war
for bread" that the stealing of ideas counts,
and women who depend upon their ideas for a
living are learning not to give them away. 1t
may seem selfish to keep a money making
idea all to ones self, when so many women
need money, but it is no more selfish than
copyright. l know several women who make
comfortable incomes by the manufacture of
some speciality, some dainty article of fancy
work, or some delicacy for the table, but
they tell no one what it is.
ART OF CONVERSATION.
And speaking of originality, there is to be
an attempt made to revive the art of CONVEX
sation, and the saying of original things
Some fashionable ladies-probably those
whose beauty is beginning TO fade, and who
realize that they must bring the powers OF
their mind to the rescue, or they will be left
out in the cold-are to organize a society
among themselves for the promotion of the
noble art of conversation. After years of
idle gossip hope they do not expect to ac-
quire brilliancy and wit all at once; but their
attempt is a laudable one. To start sub
ject, touch upon it on all sides, skillfully
drawing out the opinions of the person to
whom you are talking, and then drop it at
the proper moment and take up another, is
indeed an art, and one well worth cultivat-
ing. 1t is, also, one that a man appreciates
in a woman, especially at dinner party
To go from one subject to another before
either has been properly discussed, shows an
i'll regulated mind, and is not conversation.
But do not forget that with the art of con-
versation must also be cultivated the art of
listening, for the one cannot be carried on
without the other. The woman who listens,
well is quite as much sought by some as the
woman who converses well is sought by
others To listen with absorbing interest is
the most fiattering attention woman can
pay man, and a judicious question or ex-
preston of sympathy or interest, as the case
may require, adds an additional charm to the
listener in the eyes OF the speaker.
In speaking of talents once to very young
man he told me that be did not care for the
small talents" such as a talent for music or
for painting; he cared only to possess the big
talents, among which he mentioned oratory.
He was descendant of distinguished law
yer, and was studying law, but as | have
never heard of him as public speaker, and
as he shortly after our conversation married
the daughter of wealthy man, | conclude
that he has become indifferent to .the big