St. Landry democrat., 1889-08-10


Little maiden Dillydully
And her brother Shllyshally
Planned to have jolly picnic once upon
Bnt before they could get started,
Lo! the summer had departed!
And they had to take with them thelr SleoS
When they went out to play
Some one one says that ''HisUory never
reDeats itself" But then History never
voted in St. Louis.-De NenjI, st. LOujS
Magazine.
Tourist Ito native)-"'Is it against the
law to fish in this stream" Native
"Naw It's against common sense; there
haint even a minny in ther hull crick."
Customer-"Who is that man who is
making such terrible row in the back of
the storeg Clerk-"That is the silent
partner. "-CHicago Tribune.
Office-seekers say that the coolest place
they can find in Washington is the White
House. There is where so many of them
get the "cold shoulder. "-NO3rist0aon Her.
aid.
There is no lawyer in Liberal, Missouri.
The people of the town have an insane
idea that they are enjoying segment OF
the millennium.--De Menil, in st. LOUIS
Magazine.
81 am like tree" he observed, as the
clock struck H. Il am rooted at your
side Yes, but you never leave, do
your" And then he put forth. "-Har
per's Bazar.
Douglas Mactervish-' Sandy, remember
this, mon. Honesty is aye the best pol
ICY" Sandy-"How do you know, Doug
las Mactervish ?" Douglas Mactervish-
II hev tried BATH
Not Correct A Bowery newsbow invited
his girl to drink. B. n. B.-"Well, Liz
zie, what will you have?" Lizzie-"Oh, |
guess I'll have some champagne. b. ~
B. Guess again" - NeW York 1oaon
Topics.
For a Change Mrs. Kawler-"Does
YOUR husband ever condescend to hold the
baby?' Mrs Stayathome -"Oh, yes,
every Saturday and Wednesday evening,
while | run the lawn mower"
The Indulgent parent: care there
enough pin wheels to go round z asked
the boys. Yes, my sons replied
the indulgent parent. There is one. 1t
will 60 round, think, if you apply the
punk properly. "-Harper's Bazaar.
A Chicago man has invented a cast-iron
tableware that looks just like porcelain,
and is in ecstaces when he sees a servant
girl drop half dozen cups and shrek
with horror at observing their failure to
break.-,St. Louis Magazi1ae.
According to the old proverb, ''Truth
lies at the bottom of well" which may
e.. IL, Al DIV iya-
ton with it's cant and hypocrisy is fast
CLOSING up wells as public nuisances.-De
MenI IN st. Louis Magazine.
II am sorry for you, said the keeper, as
he laid away prisoner who had been con-
demned to hard labor for life. 80, think
| got off pretty easy" returned the unfor
tunate. "The judge didn't abuse me one
bit after passing sentence. '-1tnae.
Shouts the conductor as the train starts
from Chicago: "All aboard Keep in
your feet - But in spite of this I'M unc
ton an elephantine hoof protrudes here
and there from a car window, to smash
| the first bridge that gets in the way.-iT.
Louis Magazine.
Home Comforts Mr.. Beacon (from Con-
necticut)-"I came to your hotel because
you advertise home comforts. Clerk
Eyes, sir hope you found them" Mr..
Beacon-"No, young man, did not when
| asked the waiter at breakfast for some
pie, he said it wasn't on the bill of fare. -
Time.
Been There Before: Guest lat Mrs. De
Fashions musicale mercy What are all
these wash boilers and fiat irons and things
in the parlor for?' Mrs. De Fashion (help-
lessly)-"I had to get them. The leader
of the orchestra came here at the last
minute and refused to play unless | fur
nished those things for the anvil chorus.
He said he was bound to have one selection
heard above the conversation. "-Neoo York
| Weekly.
Three brothers bearing remarkable re-
semblance to each other recently went to
the same barber shop, and on the same
day, to get shaved-one going in the morn
ing, the other at noon and the third at
night. When the last one appeared, the
barber, who was German, dropped his
his head in astonishmers, and exclaimed
"Vell, dot man has der fasthest beard
niver saw l shaves him dis mornin'
shaves at dinner times, and he comes back
now nit his beard so long as it never
wash. "-Erchange.