Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1889-01-23

ler:' he said, with grin. "Same to you,
Charley Higginsonv ~ said I, and we shook
hands heartily. ''Strange, to think that
have combed your hair and washed your
face every day for the last twenty six
years, and yet never shook hands with you
till to-day?'
"Queer, amt itp And now if you will
turn around I can SEQ tho bask Of my
neck" said he.
"Ain't we nice pair Of April fools?" I
inquired, after We had laughed at our own
folly, In the manner peculiar to our kind.
"Don'tV' he exclaimed, depreciatingly.
II have heard Of April fools, to- day, until
am tired all over. You see am a mar
ried man, and my wife's mother, and two
OF my sisters live with us. Last year I
was smart enough to get ahead Of the
whole crowd OF women, ON this fool busi-
ness, and to-day they arc paying mo
back"
"Too many for you are they?"
"Rather! TO begin with, my wife stopped
the clock last night, and got me up at mid
night to build fire and draw a bucket Of
water. Then she told me was all April
fool, and advised mo to go to bod.
"YesW
''Then Sister Kate painted the baby's
him the butcher knife to play with, then
hollered for help. don't know when I
have had such fright before. Then Sis
tor Molly boiled eggs for breakfast, and
when l broke one, there was nothin' there
but the she'll; and finally the old lady got
me to try to put laudanum and cotton In
her hollow tooth, when the Lord knows
she hasn't had tooth in her head for ten
years."
swell, suppose you ore going to get
even with them?"
'pd give up all hopes, but if you will
help me- 1'll try 'em for luck. See here,
Mr.. - what did You call yourself?"
"Hlgglnson-Charley Higginson."
"Well, Mr.. Higginson. You are travel
ing, see. Would your business admit Of
your laying over day."
MY dear sir" began, 81 never allow
personal affairs to obstruct the pathway of
duty; and when meet fellow creature
in such evident Distress"
"That's me-" he assented, gleefully. 81
am an object for public pity, if there ever
was one, but if you will take hand in the
game, Wen change all that. See here,
now, do you think you could fill the posi-
ton Of the Lord of the Manor, the patri-
arch Of the flock, and the head of most
interesting family group for few hours,
with credit to yourself and the good
caused"
''It would be lots Of fun, if we could
carry it out successfully" said I, very
much taken with the originality Of the
scheme.
sob, there is no danger Of failure" he
replied, reassuringly.
'Sally-that's my wife-has gone over
to Billy Watson's to see their new baby,
and won't be home till late; and the old
lady is too near blind to ever find out the
difference."
"But your sisters?"
"Oh, I'll put you on to way to pull the
wool over their eyes. It's go, amt it,"
Don't say no! AL we have to change is
our coats and hats, for l see we both
wear ducking overalls, and our boots are
about the same style. Oh, Great Bos-
ton! III show them girls who's the April
fool"
"The next thing is horse swap" said
Miller, as he drew my broad-brimaned hat
down over his ears. 81 am only going q
couple of miles up the road, and won't
ride your horse hard. Now let me give
you few pointers"
'The only danger Of discovery is from
was brought up by an aunt in East Texas,
and received no education, but she is as
sharp as steel trap, and you'll have to
keep your eyes open when she is around
However, if you follow my directions you
will be all right. You see, | am subject
to fits of neuralgia, and you want to make
'em think you've got an awful bad at
tack"
Elbow will manage it?s'
"Easy enough. Take this red handler
chief and tie it around your jaw. There,
that hides half Of your face. Now ride
back to the house and tie your horse just
inside the gate; the girls will take care of
him. Go into the room on the left of the
hall, and drench your face with pain
killer-you will find the DO sic on the fire.
board-and then flop over on the bed and
groan. If any body speaks to you, hold
on to your jaw and growl. Don't cuss,
but use as strong language as would be
permissible for a leader in the Sunday
school, and deacon in the Mt Pisgah
Church. If you have to say any thing Of
double strength, say Great Boston! That's
my own private property, aud they are
used to hearing it. And now that you ore
thoroughly posted, here's my hand. Good
bye: and good luck to you. will drop in
at twelve O'Clock, and SEQ how you are GET
ting along" and he rode off up the hill,
highly elated at the contemplated joke
upon his unsuspecting wife and sisters.
l fulfilled his directions to the LETT er
Leading the big sorrel inside the gate,
threw the bridle-rein over picket, and
left him where he could paw up q flower
bed with his forefeet and demolish rose
bush with his heels. felt no apprehen-
! sion but that the girls would attend to his
case as soon as they saw him. No one
was visible about the house az entered,
.. but the clatter Of earthenware and the
murmur of feminine voices indicated the
locality Of the kitchen. l opened the
door on the left Of the hall; threw my hat
in one corner Of the room, and my boots
in the middle Of the floor; got hold of the
liniment bottle and rubbed my jaw with
It's odorous contents; kicked over chairs,
and stretched myself on the bed. There
were two beds in the room. l took the
one nearest the Fireplace.
The clatter of the falling chair brought
small boy upon the scene. 1t is won
derful how boys will naturally gravitate
to racket. This particular kid was, PERI
haps, four years old, and small for his
age, but he grasped the situation at
once and proceeded to make comments
thereon.