The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-09-24
WHEN BABY ARRIVES
PAPA ~TELEGRAPHS.
THE OPERAIOR HANDLES SOME
STRANGE IND INTERESTING
MESSAGES.
Spanish Women Are Beautiful Except
for Mustaches Queer Dutch Con-
acknowledgements Freaks IN
Converse-A Sure Cure.

for Mustaches - Queer Dutch Con-
acknowledgements Freaks IN
Converse-A Sure Cure.
The reporter found him leaning over
the desk at the telegraph office. There
was nothing about him that would v
attracted attention, except perhaps a
strange, troubled look in his eyes and the
reckless way he was destroying MI.
Gould's telegraph blanks. He would
take up a sheet, dash off a line or two,
hold it at arms length, slowly shake his
head and then crumple the despatch in
his hand and try it ali over again. On
the sixth round a glad smile told that he
had written the thing to his satisfaction,
and the next he a~pDroacneu the
night clerk and timidly asked the charges
to kalamazoo.
A wan smile crept over the erstwhile
calm and proSaic face of the clerk as Inc
customer took his change and hastily slid
out the side door.
AS the reporter approached the smile
deepened.
II thought so,'' said the clerk slowly as
he glanced about the office to see that no
one was about.
You did," said the reporter, gently
yet firmly.
eyes. This is the fourth one tonight,
too. Listen," ne added, as he pinned his
merciless gaze on the blushing night mes
sage for Kalamazoo:-
""The little stranger arrived safely to-
day. Twelve pounds. Julia doing finely.
It's a boy. Kindly name YOU beverage
and send damages to CHARLEY
YES" went on the clerk, speaking as
though he were equal to the occasion,
tAfhiC fC V,1psn1u G1,o,.lnrrJr tfy.t son and
heir. He is in ecstasies and hastens down
here to notify the old folks at home.
Did you notice how NAM times ne
tore up the blanks before he seemed
satisfied with what he had written? All
the young fellows act that way. Its q
very ticklish place to put a young man
in, and being his first offence, he doesn't
know exactly how to word the news so
that he will make a neat and ornamental
message, as it were. Charley seems to
be quite an artist though, and | think
you'll agree with me that he led up to
the climax very well indeed. He almost
forgot-well, something decidedly inn
portant; and rather than have the old
folks at Kazoo, the aunts and uhcles and
siXtieth cousins left in a state OF Devil
derment, notice how gracefully he rings
in the crisis:-
cts a boy
"Now, then. here's another handed to
me just a little while ago.. This is en-
tirefy in a different vein. 1t is addressed
to a gentleman IN Toledo, perhaps an olu
chnm:-
Well well well / told you so! l
shall name him after you. He will run
run for President in 1924, or my name is
not Tom JACK"
"Now, that's what I call neat" said the
clerk, as he laid aside the tender message
destined soon to gladden. some heart in far
off WOloln ttnnn pnnnnf hnin hnt admire
Tom Jacks delicate sense of humor. he
spares himself the embarrassment OF say
ing anything about the little angels sex.
He doesn't say whether Sallyis doing well
or not; Tom Jack is too much elated to
think Of these things now. A year or SO
hence he may come in again, but his des-
| patch won't be so intrepid. Later still,
when the family circle is extended so that
the hired girl puts a couple OF extra
boards in the table for dinner every day
well, Tom jack, the prosaic family man,
with expenses running higher year by
year, won't be in such a tremendous
hurry to turn loose the electricity for ar
rival No. Z. We can wager the nInble
dollar on that.
''Shall / read the other two? Well.
they're not quite so demonstrat1ye. n
reads:-
"'Baby came to us this morning. Blue
eyes like its mother. Mother mendlng
rapidly. JIM
"And the other reads:-
"'Our daughter came to us this, morn
ing at twenty minutes past ten. VIII
you come to christening? Irene ends
love to father. FREDDY j.
You can see by these that there is quite
a literature in the birth message. b
main points that seem to agitate the
fond young papa2s breast are TO tell the
little story fully, yet suppress any direct
statements. They are really more abashed
at the clerks behind the counter than you
would readily imagine. It's always q
great mental torture to 'em when l
slowly count over the words n at a
time. 1t makes them squirm to think
that their handwriting might not be
plain, and that l might roal out the des-
patch and ask them if it's all right as |
read it. But I've too much consideration
for human nature to do that; and when
ever | see a young fellow sidle into the
office, cautiously grasp a pen and expert
ment on half a dozen blanks, my expert
ence tells me at once WHAT'S IN me vino,
and | am careful to let him depart in
peace through the side door in the short
est possible time"
And as the reporter was moving off the
clerk picked up another blank and read
it over softly to himself. There was no
smile on his lips this time as he turned to
the scribe and said slowly
IltIG . dnObACl AiSeoR9C, oIdO W AZ
with the lite harbinger of gladness
read you a moment before. It's only a
line, but there is nothing so eloquent as
death. Listen;-
"sJohn died when the tide went out to-
night. 'n-Detroit Free Press.
Spanish Beauty.
The Spanish eye, large, humid, tender,
grand, languishing. furnished with lashe
so long, SO curling and SO beautiful that
the pencil of the artist falls to despair;
the black pupil, the white sea, in which
the lustrous orb sails-all is ind~escribable
Spanish women when they are coquettish
and laughing have a sad expression. Il
there a little of the Orient left In their ex-
pressionP Is it Moorish, and does it speak
of the harem and the inevitable heart
breakP
Next to the beauty of the hair and eyes
comes the beauty of the flashing teeth.
These are so universally perfect that the
student of dentistry should go to Spain to
find out how they manage it. There is
very little good eating in Spain. Perhaps
there faultless teeth are not spoiled by
cakes and pastry and sweets IN child
hood. But the careless traveller expects