Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1889-12-19

The Small Urchin Is on Hand, as Usual,
and the Chap with the Trick to Catch
the Gudgeons Is Also There.
The first acquaintance l met at the
Sagadahoc fair was Deacon Dudley. If
he had owned the grounds and held a
mortgage on the building and its con-
tents, he could not have appeared better
satisfied.
N'sWalk right in," was his hospitable
greeting as approached the entrance
''Pve got the biggest curiosity ever shown
in the county, and want you to see it
before the crowd gathers. / raised it
myself" he explained. from seed sent
by my wife's brother from California
You'll get some idea of its length when
tell you that brought it here in a box
three feet and a half long. ! packed it
in hay, sos to keep it from scarin', and
when / took it out twas smooth as a
smelt and shiny as 4 glass bottle.
By this time we had reached the farm
produce department, and the deacon's
tongue and legs came to Il standstill to-
gether. | asked the name of the wonder
he had described.
''Well, he replied, scratching his head
perplexedly, lit was a squash-the long
est I ever saw-but what shape it's in
now, or where it's gone, is more'n l
know. / left it right here, with my
name tackled to it. You hold on a min
ute, while | hunt up the committee and
see if anybody's responsible for property
left i'll this ere buildin'.
The good man disappeared, and for
half an hour scarcely stirred from my
tracks. At last grew tired of waiting,
and ventured to move about with the
rest of the folks. Growing bolder BY
degree, | finally drifted with the crowd
outside the hall, aud in the course of an
hour or two forgot all about Deacon
Dudley and the missing squash.
1t was late in the afternoon when |
met my friend in the neighborhood of
the sheep pens. AT the sight of him my
conscience smote me, and with genuine
solicitude asked if he had found his
treasure.
The DEACON looked rather foolish as he
said: Il suppose you mean the squash.
Oh, that's all right. They'd moved it to
another place Twas no great matter,
any way"
AS he seemed much embarrassed, and
turned away without urging me to ex
anime the specimen, | determined to
seek it out without waiting for any fur
ther invitation. When | had found it, |
was at no loss to account for my friend S
confusion. By the side of his squash
which really was of remarkable length
lay another squash at least eight inches
longer.
strolled across the grounds, when a
sound as of some one beating a carpet
caught my ear. The noise was occa
stoned by big boy who was pounding
small urchin on the back.
whats the natter" asked gentle
man whose attention was attracted by
the disturbance.
81 guv him a lobster leg to suck, an
ne went an swallered it" said the big
boy. 'Spit it out.'' he yelled, as he re-
newed the blows.
Three men, loaded to the muzzle with
advice, hastily joined the group. pinch
his windpipe," suggested the first.
"Hold him up by the heels, counseled
the second. 'Thump him harder" ad-
vised the third.
Before either suggestion could be act
ed upon, the gentleman who had been
poking the sandy soil with his cane ex-
claimed: "What's this?'
1t was u Holsters leg, bearing unmis-
taxable marks of youthful teeth.
The big boy rested from his labor and
the little one Strengthened himself pain
fully.
II tole yer l dropped it," he said re-
proachfully, pointing to the fragment in
the sand.
Saunterins up to a counter at one of
the booths, a distinguished looking
stranger began toying with a common
black bottle.
"You wouldn't believe I could put
more water in this bottle than any other
man on these grounds, would you?" he
asked carelessly.
A handful of rustics, gathered in front
of the place, gazed at the speaker incred-
ulously. 81 wouldn't, that's a fact one
of them remarked, knowingly.
"And yet" resumed the stranger, 81
SIN ready to bet twenty dollars that
can do it."
Upon hearing this statement your un-
Gle edged away, while the knowing fel-
low stepped briskly to the front. You
say you'll bet twenty dollars on it, he
remarked in voice trembling with ex-
citement.
''That's what | said"
sLe'me see that BOTTLE" demanded the
| seeker after knowledge.
The bottle was passed among the
crowd, and after due examination was
pronounced worthy of confidence. After
much discussion of ways and means,
| interested parties formed d syndicate
with capital of $5. which sum was in
stantly covered By the stranger. An in
| dividual, presumably disinterested, was
| chosen to hold the stakes, and the know
| ing chap was appointed to fill the bottle.
| Having turned in water till the vessel
was running over, he remarked with a
grin:
There, I guess she's bout as full as
| she can hold. If you can crowd any
more water into her, mister, so ahead. :
| Without sayihg word the business
| like stranger proceeds to cork the bottle
tightly.
Then he turned it upside down, and in
the large hollow, which is found at the
| bottom of most bottles, he poured two OF
three gills of water. '.I'll trouble you te
hand over that money" he said to the
stakeholder when he had done the trick.
Then arose a chorus of complaints
.s'Twasn't fairr' s.The water amt in the
bottle." 'sThe hull things a swindlet
| vociferated the duped rustics. Mean
| while tile stranger cody pocketed The