River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1889-01-31
EUTHANASIA VILLA.
The Luxurious Retreat Provided
for Intended Suicides.

Upon one Of the principal squares
Of the city stood the great philan-
thrOpic establishment founded by Mr..
Richard Utterex. It's majestic front
was no less than two hundred feet
long; there were six rows Of balcony
windows. and over the principal en-
trance a sign in gil. letters announced
that this splendid building was "Eu-
thanasia Villa
II was 10 this institution that those
who were disguised with existence
came To seek eJthanasia; of course it
was intended exclusively for the dis
gusted ones with dollars. for those who
We're not blessed with this worlds
goods could carry out their sinister de-
signs without the assistance offered to
the guests OF EuthauaSia Villa. But. for
the unhappy pos~essOrs Of millions,
Mr. Richard Utterex was really bene-
factor
Each day at least three disheartened
m0rtals came and knocked at his door;
this is only a figurativs way of speak
ing, for the door remained continually
OPEN This is how tho business was
conducted:
One day a young man entered the
Office Two clerks at once arose to
meet him. The stranger advanced
three steps. Naturally he was very
pale and lettering. An easy chair was
pushed toward him; he dropped into
il, and caressed. from time to time. the
small carved death s-heads that urna-
mented the end Of the arms. lie threw
a glance around the Office, which was
hung in BLACK cloth.
The clerks made the young man
l0w bow f. an automatic fashion; then.
without giving him time TO reply TO
their polite salutation or To explain the
object of his visit. one Of them asked
him. in an obseguiDUs voice:
What manner OF death have you
chosen
Prepared n he must have been for
some such question. the desperate
young man could not rrpress an invOl-
untary shudder The clerks appeared
10 be much surprised. aud, as the guest
AAAA AtNA tAt'NatlaA- EFAAtAA a. ftt lucy WtAN
up 10 him with the same automatic
step. and. without saving a word.
looked at him. THIS proceeding had
the desired effect. The young man
felt that he was in a welI-cOndueted
establishment. ANA this rea-sured him.
One OF the clerks said do you
wish 10 see the prospectus2'
Il beg your pardon. said the young
man. but he quickly continued. The
prospcctu-3 On. yes, certainly, the
prospectus
Then. with the discreet manner Of a
waite. in "a fashionable restaurant who
seeks to learn the guests preference
Pomard or Sauterne- clerk handed
the young mau richly-bound album.
wherein were described the different
modes Of death furnished by the house.
The enumeration of these various
methods plunged the reader into a
shuddcring astOuishment At first he
ran over them with his finger rather
than with his eve. stopping here and
there. amused by the marginal illus
trations; then he began again. reading
seriously this time, without. however,
coming to q decision. Certainly hang
ing had its charms. but what poetry
there was about asphyXia with flow
ers, The soul departs with the breath
81 the tuberOsc, Aud the poisons,
rooms Nos. To Ia vast choice!
And the Indian cUr1re-the prick of a
pin In the heel ar elsewhere. and then
Nirvana But here are the lost
Diseases An. the lost diseases!
To contract by artificial means
lcpro~y or the black death. TO offer to
the practitioners Of the present day,
whom the disappearance OF these al
fectiouS" renders inconsOlable. the Oc-
casioG of studying them ..from the
life" 60 carry away in diving the con-
ISOLATION that You leave i'm your remains
"a whole field of delicate experiences
That r.. without doubt, incomparably
more noble than death by laughter,
the simple idea of which gives yOu a
nausea. and diShOuors the ingenious
enumeration Of Mr. Richard UttereX.
But there are ill-uaturei persons who
would he offended nj this prospect,
however glorious IL may b.. Of having
these written ON their bodies; they
prefer sort Of aristocracy Of silence.
What could be better than the lancing
o. veins in Il warm bath2
-Haye YOU made your choice9' in
simulated the clerk in a low voice. with
out changing his attitude.
but there i such e variety" re-
piled tho desperate Young man
The clerk accepted the compliment
with polite smile
.'Ycu must yourself admit. con-
tinued the stranger. '-tha: hesitation
Is cNctsahle 1.uder the circumstances "
Perhaps Il would be wei To visit
tho establishment
THAT will suit me exactly.
Whenever it viii please you 10 do
So.
For the first time the two clerks dis
associated their work; one opened the
Office door ANA stepped aside to allow
the guest to pass. and the other in
dicatei the way with an almost alice
Tomato wave 81 the hand. The young
mans first impulse was 10 obey; but at
the second stop he changed his mind.
and said, timidlv.
u should first like 70 know how
much-in shor. the terms
The prize sir. replied from the
end Of she room the voice, 81 Mr Rich
ard Utterex himself, who had just come
In. varies with the class Of accom-
mediation desired. and guests pay only
on leaving he house
The young stranger seeming still IN
decided. his conductor gently placed
his hand upon his arm and invited him
to follow. Giving UP all thought OF
resistance he obeyed. and began his
tour Of Euthanasia villa.
In the large vcstibaie Of a spacious
staircase the visitor =as shown. with a
revereutial bow. which he iuvolun-
tarily initiated. large statue Of the
great Schopenhauer, the patron Of the