St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-01-27
THE STORY TELLER.

THE SIoE64 IELiEEs
There was an amusing scene in Judge
Hicks court recently. Among the
Jurors drawn for the term was an old
farmer who resided in the country
considerable distance from the court
house. He had the misfortune to be
drawn as Juror in case which lasted
several days, and after sitting there for
some time he became nervous as to the
safety of his family, and asked if he
could not go home in the evening.
Knowing that the juror could not get
back in time to attend court in the
morning. the Judge told him that he
could not go. This ''riled' the old man,
and after muttering TO himself for a
short time, he relapsed into sulky
silence. When court convened the next
morning he was missing, but an hour
later he came walking in, all smiles, and
took his seat.
Explain your absence, SIR" COM
manded Judge Hicks, not at all pleased
at the delay in the case.
"Well, you see," was the reply, 81
wanted to go home and see my family,
and as you would not let me go went
anyhow. guess | have as good right
y
II will have to fine you SO for con-
tempt in not Obeying the court"
ooh, that's all right. You had better
make it 5000"
That will do. You are in contempt,
and the $40 fine is to purge you from it,"
Eyes, but you see L would not have
missed seeing my family for $500"
The old gentleman was finally quieted
down, and then he paid his fine and
apOlOgized.
That silks and diamonds do not al
ways mark the true lady was well dem
Onstrated at banquet few evenings
ago. Sitting at the table was middle
aged woman wearing costly silk dress
and some magnificent diamonds. Next
to ner sat a newspaper reporter. When
TIE first course was served the woman
leaned over to the pencil-pusher and re-
marked in very audible voice:
Say, these victules hain't put on in
very nice shape, be they? There haint
no style here in the West. If you don't
believe that there is style in New York,
where came from, just you go there
and find out for yourself"
The newspaper man had not strength
enough left to make any reply, and
when the woman began eating peas
with her knife, he promptly tainted.
~"
A dyspeptic old East slider was sitting
m his office the other day feeling very
glum, when his grocer sailed in with a
months bill. The old man didn't have
any ready money and the circumstance
troubled him greatly, so he replied
somewhat crustily to the merchants
ObSequiOus request:
| WON'T n
cent. Sir''
The dealer in Goldfish didn't like this,
and remarked sulkily: well, when
can you pay me, anyhow"
This was too much, and, springing
quickly to his feet, he brought his fist
down on the table with a thump. and
shouted: "GreaG Scott! Young man,
these aren't Bible times. Do look
like prophet"
Then the meek and lowly salesman
slid quietly out. and he had walked
nearly block before he began to think
ii was funny at all.
There is certain young man of good
family in this city who has an inordi-
nate fondnesS for good liquors, and,
delight in the milder forms of
hoodlumsm. He has been gathered in
by the police several times and paid
fines for disorderly conduct. A day or
two ago he got very ripe and was wend-
ing his way homeward at couple
O'Clock in the morning, when an East
side copper p cked him up and run him
in. He stumbled into the station,
walked up to the jailer and remarked in
a small boy reciting a juvenile-poem
tone of voice: flames Brown, drunk
and disorderly, Cell No. 4. Whoop!
ta-ra-rum!" and feeling along the corri-
dor he waited patiently to be locked up.
Two bright young men, who occupy a
room together on Third street, are al
WAYS in trouble; by some unfortunate
error of fate both failed to be born in
rich families, and their "beer salaries
and champagne appetites are the cause
of much thought and discussion Oh sub
jects akin to rent and laundry bills,
One of them amused friend very much
yesterday by cOnfding to him Il fact
that he didn't know how he and George
would have got through last week If 1t
"hadn't been for the money they won
from each other playing poker"