The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-27
BRIGHT BITS.

FAsHIoNMAKERs are the only ones who are not
afraid of the signs of approaching age. They
are always trying TO get up some new wrinkle.
-Ierds S0tiR0s.
CUSTOMER (fnishing his hash)-Check, waiter.
Waiter (who forgot what the order was)-
What did you have, sir:
Customer haven't the slightest idea.-Nelc
York sun.
MAMMA why do they hunt tigers and lionsY"
Because they kill the poor little sheep"
Then, asked Tommy. after moments re-
Election, why don't they hunt the butcher as
well:'-Jltdge
CARRIE YoYSE-Unless she fears that he's
after her money l can't understand why Miss
Oldsome treats our Jack so coolly!
Jessie Bell-Her az explains it. Thrty-two is
the freezing point, you know.-BostOn Times.
y UNDERSTAND you have just been down to
St. Louise
''Yes, spent three days there"
did you see any of the bigbugs of the placer
mo; went TO a brand new hotel. Judge
IL a LIBRARY.-I should like something a little
historical in character.
How would The Last Days of Pompeii' suit
youg"
Hum, What did he died OFF,
IAN eruption, l believe. Judge.
He HAD STUDIED HUMAN NArURE.-First Man
Its very hot in here. wish every one wouldn t
shut the door when they 20 out
Second Mani II fix it SO they won't
And he did. He put up a sign which read:
please Shut the Door. '-NetU York sun.
BEcGAR-rve met with many misfortunes,
sir, and haven't dollar to give to my suffering
family. Can't you help me out?
Business Man--Yes, sir, l can help you out
but you will feel much more at ease if you
help yourself out. There's the door.-Ne10 York
Sun.
ARTIST Won BRUSH (rapturously)-Wha a
picture is yonder town, suffused in the lurid
light of the setting sun! All the sun is q great
painter.
Jagley-No morn I am I've painted that
town (hic) red hun'r'd times myself -Terds
S0tingS.
JoNEs-Can you speak French?
Brownies
JoneS-Speak it.
Brown-French.
.Jones-Yes, French
Brown-Wen, l spoke it-French. Do you
want me to sing it;-Ne,o York World.
MISS ANTIQUE (1ispleased with her photo
graphs)-ThiS, sir, is the fourth sitting I've
given you, and the picture is even worse than
the first.
Photographer-Yes miss. The last sitting
was a month after the first and you were
month older, you know.-Nel1 York Weekly.
FEMININE PENETRATION Lily-Dearest So.
phie do tell me what you think of my hat Is
this rose-color becoming to me?
"Oh, yes, it is just the color of you, dear"
Lily Gan hour later to the maid)-Take this
rose olored hat to the mlliners and tell her to
change 1t for pearl gray.-Flie0ende BLGtter.
PROGRESSED TooMUcH-Capitalist- daugh-
ter is homely, cross-eyed, hump -shouIdered and
has a disposition like hornets nest. What do
you want to marry her for?
Young Man tardently)-I love her, sir.
capitalization you can't have her, sir;
don't want to take a blamed fool into my
famiy.-Chicdgo Tribune.
A BALTIMORE ANARCHIST says he has invented
a sort of percussion cap, no larger than Scent
piece which, when filed with the new explosive
extralite and scattered on the sidewalk, will
blow up every man who treads on one. 1t has
never occurred to any anarchist to invent a new
kind of working tool or to manufacture new
brand of soap.-Detroit Free Press
WHY He COULDN'T SETTLE.-'Mr. Orville R.
| Dupp." said the man with a bill, in a loud,
| harsh, menacing voice, you said you would
Certainly pay this if L would call this morn
| ing"
Il know did, " said the miserable man, 'but
my wife is out somewhere with my pocketbo k
buying me a birthday present. "-Chicogo Trib-
9tle.