Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1889-09-14

| nOOdlumS VINO greeted me WltD'
"Noble and Reverend Signor, how
goes the night?"
Not wishing to irritate their feel
ings, just said i'm soothing voice:
"So-so," whereupon they exclaimed:
"He is one of us?" Each one ran to
me, grasped my hand and rubbed his
nose against my shoulder, saying as
he did 80: Noble disciple of the
No-work Order. thus we greet you"
"Noble fiddlesticksW / exclaimed.
al am not member of your loafiing
society,"" whereupon they commenc-
ed to cry out: "He is renegade!
he is a bloated capitalist! he Is a
man that does not believe that prop
erty should he dividedv' and they
followed after me throwing stones
and epithets.
A few weeks ago, as | was stand
ivg at the door bidding my wife
good night, preparatory to going
and burying my aunt, ] said i'm a
soothing tone for the purpose of
quieting her, "Thy power is next to
Omnipofence, o wOman"' where.
upon framework Of bones, with
a skin drawn taut over them, cloth
ed I'm the habitude Of woman, rush
ed to me with the remark: "No
other sign is necessary to show one
of the Daughters of Ophelia. | am
glad to find that you are with us,
that you believe we have rights
rights so powerful that all the rights
of men are pigmles compared with
ours"
"You go to - p' / exclaimed.
"Not if the Daughter Of Ophelia
knows herself, and she thinks she
does" and she rushed at ME with
open arms. was fearful that those
scrawny snake-like feelers would en-
circle me, aud l called for my wife,
who quickly came to the rescue, and
there was IA rev0lution-a revolution
out of which my wife came forth
and stood by my side, with her
hands on her hips, as she watched
the Daughter of Ophella untangle
herself and move away. Then she
drew II long breath, and pointed
over my head with u majes tic finger
said in sonorous voice: ~ like
not that lean, hungry-looking Ophe-
lia, and her dress is only imitation
silkanyway :"
Only day before yesterday as l
sat at my desk, biting my finger
nails, and thinking what l should
report, man came in; after watch
ing one moment he scratched his
head and looked at me sharply.
Just at that time feeling the lobe of
my right ear itch, / scratched it,
whereupon he put his fingers to his
lips and said: "Worthy comrade,
what other sign or token have yon
that may know you are worthy to
pass on to the next degree"
"Oh, you've got it have you?" l
said, for | have tumbled to these
things now, aud as SHE'D the ink
stand at him l uttered the one sylla-
BILE "GetW and he got.
Yesterday, as leaned on the case
Of one of our pretty girl compositors'
and rested my head on my hand,
she looked pleased and said: "I
did not know, Fatty, that you had
Joined us. When were you initia-
I d?n
said nothing, but fled. l had
evidently made signs; | did not in
quire what.
Nowadays If l do not grasp a
mans hand they call me cold, aud
II | do am liable to give the grip
Of some secret society that | do not
know OF and then he called an i'm
postor.
If lean against anything to rest
with both hands In my pockets l
am giving the signs Of the members
Of the Grand Panadrums. III don't
have bat one hand In then II Is some
other society; II neither, still an
other.
Ii for any reason double up my
hand, am ut once greeted rs one of
the Peep o. Day boys and shilalah
Is thrust into my hand.
II ! cut an apple or orange into
halves before eating 1t, some blank
'ool is very apt TO come up and take
half, saving as he does 50, "Ah! l |
lee by that token that you are a
member of George, McGlynn &
Io.'s lodge.
IL IL no use. have got Ia join all
lie secret societies for protection, for
hen, aud only then, shall | know
What signs 10 make and what words
o say TO express himself without
diving the signs Of some Order.
viii be a joiner.