Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1889-02-16
CHAPTER xxxvrrl.

The great mas Of tho American psup,e live
on tough meat uncooked and Iced water I'm.
Htered
take 1t for granted that sheep and cattle
are born q - tender an age In America -
elsewhere, but the society for the protection
Of animals probably prevents their being
killed for food while they are young enough
70 enjoy life, and 70 the patriarchs alone are
reserved for the table
That which renders the problem Of dining
almost past solving Is that the meat has to be
attacked with plated knives which tear but
do not cut II. | suppose that, a. half the
lower class Americans still eat with their
knives, II was necessary to abandon the idea
Of having steel knives for fear Of their acci.
dentally gashing their facea II sharp steel
knives were In general use In America the
streets would bs full Of people with faces
SCARED and scanned like those Of the Heidel-
berg sti,denta
The Americans drink little else but water
at table. and one cannot help wondering how
II b that the filter seems to be an almost un-
known institution in the land. Leave your
glass Of water untouched on the table, and
in . few moments thick sediment Of mud or
sand win be visible at the bottom Of it.
Down south 1t Is worse still.
At jacksonville was waited upon at table
by an extremely obliging negro
One day he brought me some water, put Ice
In It, and discreetly withdrew behind my
chair.
I took up the glass and minutely inspected
its contents
"Epaminondasr cried.
"Dat's not my name, sah I'm called
Charles.n
"Charles, look at this water; there Is .
snake In itn
Charles took tho glass, looked In It, and
then, with reassuring grin, announced:
''It's dead, sah."
"That is comforting, !" said I, ''but II may
have left eggs, which will come to life by
thousands inside me-"
Charles was facetious, and was not to DO
put out Of countenance for such trifle. He
took up the glass again, re-examined It, and
replaced 1t Oh the table
"Dere's no danger, sab; It's a male" no
said.
In almost all hotels south Of Washington
the walters are colored men. Tho service Is
but poor. The negroes are slow-it Is tho
guests who do the waiting"
At Delmonico's especially, and In the prin.
ciRal hotels Of New York, Boston. Philadel-
phia and Washington you CON dine admir-
ably. In the smaller towns you must be con-
tent with feeding
T,,t lat a., xoI ,,,~ ,,,t, - A.. A.l,u
Of the best hotel In any second rate town that
you please In Pennsylvania. Ohio, Indiana, or
some other state Of the Union.
No psinted menu. A young woman, with
an elaborate coifrure Of curls. rolls and bangs,
but no cap, approaches, darts look of con-
tempt at you and. turning her back upon
you, gabbles of In one breath:
"Croutaupoturbotshri
keycranberrysaucepotatoestomatoesapp
Observation-Disclosures"
Do not attempt to stop her; she Is wound
up, and when she Is started Is bound to 90 to
the end. You must not hope that she will
repeat the menu a second time either. II you
did not hear, so much the worse for you.
Unfortunately the consequences are grave;
It Is not ono dish that you miss-it Is the
whole dinner. You are obliged to order all
your repast at once, and the whole is brought
you, from soup to cheese, at one time.
was so i'll inspired one day as to order
some soup to begin with The waitress re-
fused downright to bring me anything moro.
THAT is all you ordered" she said to me.
"You do not suppose l can mako twenty
journeys to the kitchen for you"
rose and sought the hotel keeper. Imado
the humblest apologies, pleaded that was
foreigner who had only been in America a
fortnight, and was not yet accustomed to tho
habitsof the Americans Ipromised solemnly
never TO transgress again in this way. Mine
host went to the young person who was at
the head Of the battalion of harpies In the
dining room, and interceded for me with her.
l had-the happiness Of being forgiven, and
was allowed to appease my hunger.
From that day forward, as soon as one Of
these witching damsels began her incantation.
I cried out:
"Holdl Enoughi Bring 1t all in"
Then would eat the least distasteful Of tho
messes and leave the rest can assure you
the hotel did not mako much profit out Of me.
This Is how tho dinner is served;
The duchess" begins by flinging a spoon
and knife and fork down on tbs table In front
Of you. 1t Is for you to set them straight,
and would advise you to do SO without any
murnuring. When you have taken your
SOUP the said duchess" brings you q plate,
around which she places q dozen little oval
dishes In a symmetrical fashion that one can
but admire.
The first little dish contains fish and tea
spoonful Of sauce Of some kind. 1t Is need
less to inquire the name Of this sauce. All
the fish sauces are the same; only the name
varies The second apparently contains .
little lump Of raw beef; tho third a slice Of
roast turkey; the fourth mashed potatoes;
the fifth stewed tomato; the sixth cram
berry sauce; the seventh chicken salad; the
eighth some rice pudding, and the last con-
tains horrible dictuD slice Of apple tart,
with . large helping Of cheese In tho middle
Of It These two things are eaten together
and are consequently served on the same
dish
You begin at the left Tho first presents
no obstacles but its bones and u soon disposed
Of You turn your attention to the next
dish on the right and attack the beef. It u
impregnable, you can make no impression
upon it. You pass The turkey is not obdu-
rate and you fall TO on that. making little
raids ON the potatoes, tomatoes and cranberry
sauce between each mouthfuL Thanks to
the many climates Of America tthe thermom-
eter varies in winter from rs above zero in
the south to IS below In the north), you have
turkey and cranberry sauce all the winter,
Strawberries six months Of the year and to-
matoes all the year round.
Oh. the turkey and cranberry sauce!
ate enough of that dish to satisfy me for the
rest Of my days No moro turkey and cram
l,aa for I AZ.