Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-09-02
FOUND IN ADVERTISEMENT
One Of the Most Amusing and Interest
ing Portions of the Paper.

| From the London Standard.
| It is time-honored practice with the pro-
fessional humorist to raise the necessary laugh
by twitting women with preference for the
advertisements over the news columns Of the
daily journals. Give one Of the sex paper.
they say, and she will Immediately rivet her
attention on the advertisements. Granting,
for the sake Of argument, that there 10 a SUBJ
stratum of truth in this quip, it yet remains
debatable ground whether or not she does no,
show q superior wisdom to those who give
priority Of perusal to the cablegrams, the law
reports, the parliamentary debates, the political
speeches Of the leaders,
Advertisements properly prospected pan out
| richly in all the qualifications necessary for
| entertaining reading-in instruction. in
romance, in pathos. in freshness of ide as and
In humor, which, being frequently uninten-
| tional, ls by no means less amusing on that ac-
| count. Indeed, many of the comic papers
often contain testimony to the fact that their
| compilers have discovered gold mines in the
! mass OF wants-sometimes curious necessities
curiously expressed-which are daily set forth
IN their apportloned space in the journals Of
| the country.
The agony column is VIGOROUSLY worth
watching, but the mysterious messages con-
| veyed through that medium do not by any
means monopolize all the romance of adver-
tlsements nor all the humor. 1t is said if the
| reader be sentimental or diyerting if he or
| she De caiious to the exquisite emotions Of the
tender correspondents to hear from Rose
| Blush that time will not change her love
and that the fragrance of it remains as a
sweet odor and as the breath of hfe;" or that
| violet intends to meet her ''ever-loving
CATERS at the dear old haunt when the clock
| strikes TO-" But there are sterner romances
| than these of which gimpses are frequently
obtained among the small-type announcements,
which are SO frequently skipped by the reader.
The romance of the fortune hunter Is there,
and many of the misdeed' of daring Grimm ais
are exposed to the views of the readers of
Aus by the police announcements,
BENEFIT IN READING ADVERTISEMENTS.
The reading OF advertisements, more SO than
the perusai of any other part of the newspaper,
draws one into the busy marts Of life, jostles
one against the crowd, touches one with pity.
or repels one with greed; brings one into sharp
contact with sharp men, who are conspiring in
some deep plot to betray, deceive or defraud
some trusting person. and shows one love-
misery. ambition and despair in all their
phases, supplying one with the key note to a
hundred dramatic situations If one is inter-
ested IN the world of inventions it is in the ad
vertislng column that the earliest knowled sc is
ootainabie OF the most recent device, from the
latest improvement OF a domestic or culinary
utensll to SO remarkable an invention as that
recently announced for the especial benefit Of
yachtsmen, namely, ''aerial yachts, ship formed
| navigabie balloons propulsion and steering
| perfect, powerful and faclle, capable Of accom-
| modating from two to twenty persons"
The column for ''houses and apartments
shows rise and fall OF fortune, a change of To-
| cation bringing together or separation of
| friends-perhaps families-maybe lovers. No
| end OF romance may attach to lost umbrella
and the steps necessary for its restoration. An
| auction sale announcement may be significant
Of the dissolution of some old family, or the
downfall OF great man. The Wanted Situa-
| tons column is full Of pathetic stories CURLY
narrated-three-line tales of privation, struggle,
despair heroism and long suffering. The ad-
vertisements OF silks and iaces, rare flowers
and costly jewels, tell of gayety and wealth.
The announcements Of the toy shops con lure
| up thousand fancies Of childish recollection
| and enjoyment, and the lawyers welcome no
| tices OF something to ones advantage. If this
should meet the eye, suggests many pleasant
theme OF patient waiting and cheerful endur-
ance. being at length rewarded by kindly be-
quest. The nature Of legacies, too, disclosed
by tel-taie ads, is all interesting field for OBJ
servation. and one cannot help smiling at the
endeavors Of legatee to dispose of such in
heritances as old family heirlooms, precious to
the testator, but despised by the disappointed
heir.
THE HUMoR OF ADvERrIsEMENrs
To the humane the advertisement columns
offer many inducements for perusal. How
pleasant for them to turn from the police court
records of brutality to dumb animals to the
distressed prayers of bereaved masters and
mistresses who have lost some feline or canine
pet. and to read for instance: Two pounds
reward. Strayed from No. -, Prince of Wales
terrace. kensington. u white Pomeranian dog,
old and nearly blind the hair on the back Of
bis neck worn away" Almost every announce
ment discloses some view of human nature, or
awakens material interest 1t is pretty safe
to say that in tn. advertisements of one issue
OF London daily there is more exciting mys-
terry than III a novel by Wilkie Collins. Take
the following: Between September to middle
of November, 1888. Lady about thirty, gentle
man, thIrty-six, lunched out nearly every day
except Sunday; food. probably fish and fowl;
drink, red wine or champagne. Real informa-
ton rewarded. For interview address," DC. To
people weary Of chess problems or business
plans, what fine exercise for the ingenuity is
provided by such an announcement. and the
motive for which such curious information is
desired.
70 the humor of advertisements, both con-
sc1ous and the reverse, there is no end. Dickens
or Mark Twain in their happiest moment were
not more mirth-compelling than some of the
lines hidden away in the obscurity of the an
nouncements Of the great public through the
medium OF the newspaper. Would the lady
| who wore away in mistake a square black lace
shawl from the Free Masons' hall and left in
stead black cotton ditto. kindly return it," is
| getting too frequent type to prove 30 amusing
now, but it is still suggestive and provocative
OF a smile, except to the lady who has suffered
| from the unequal exchange. A much fresher
phase OF amusing adver iisements was the recent
naive request of a young Polish lady who be-.
ing ''desirous of cultivating her musical talent
begs the assistance of kind friends to enable
her to procure piano. which her parents can
not afford to purchase"
WHIMSICAL ADVERTISEMENTS.
Advertisements in which the omission of a
comma distorts the meaning and exhibits the
potency Of that little stop might be numbered
in scores. The juxsaposition Of advertisements
Is often very curious, and it was amusing to
read recently the announcements Of o turf tip
ster whose greatest qualification appeared to
be that he was brother Of the celebrated New
market jockey" Of his name, and then, either
through the irony of circumstance or the de-
sign OF the printer, Immediately following a
disclaimer on the part OF 1.-The celebrated New
market jockey" from all connection with the
| tipster.
Perhaps the most whimsical advertisement of
| all was that in which relief of conscience was
sought by the penance Of publication in the
| following terms, which appeared in Bristol
paper: Lady travelled with gentleman, Bir-
mingham to Bristol February 49, 1889 FRIDAY
afternoon). Lady told an untruth. She re-
| grets 1t most deeply. She lives in Bristol. 4"
At this rate the advertising columns will soon
supersede the confessional.
|
| PEN MAR-PEN MAR.-The Baltimore and
Ohio railroad company announce a select ex-
/ =