davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
The Boss Relic of Chickamausa.

While l was riding over the battle
field of Chickamauga | came to cabin
occupied by q negro family, and the
man came out aud wanted to dispose
of some relics from the battlefield. He
had some bullets, pieces of shells, two
or three old bayonets and cannon
ball or two, but the relic of all relics
was an old scythe-blade, to which a
rough wooden handle had been tied
with sheep Irvine.
What do you call that?" l asked
dat, sab, is what Gincral Grant
carried in dis yere fout, and | reckon
he moved down about TO thousand
rebels wild It,"
My friend, General Grant was not
in this BATTLE"
He wasn't?"
NO. sir. And no General or soldier
of any grade ever carried such wea-
pom as that"
They didn't?n
"Of course not. Where did you get
it?"
picked it up on de field, sah.n
1T looks as if you made it within a
week"
Look yere, sab, war you in dis
fout?'
No"
War you widin fifty miles of itP"
No"
wall, / was right over to Abner
Jackson's, not ten miles away, an if l
don't know what relics are, you can't
larn me. Good-day, sah.n
But no General eyer-n
''Good-day, sahi Pussons who is so
VERY, VERY, partickler had better 60
long an hunt up deir own relics.
Chillen, yo' watch dat white man till
he gifts began de turnip patchr'-
Detroit Free Press.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
Water As Substitute for Grace.

Sister Weymouth was one of the
most notable women that ever lived in
the good old Maine town of Blankmouth
says the Lewiston Journal. She was
notable for her powers as an exhorter,
which shone in the village prayer
meeting as brilliantly as those of any
licensed preacher whom the villagers
heard, and for her quick wit. that
found expression in many quaint and
pithy-speeches, some of which are
treasured to this day although she has
long been gathered to her fathers and
mothers.
A worthless young man named Frost
fell in love with Sister Wevmouth's
daughter. Failing to melt the stern
objections of the young woman's
mother in any other way. he pretend
ed to be converted under her exhorta-
tons, joined the church and was mar
ried to his hearts desire.
Very soon the bad blood in Frost's
veins asserted itself and the rascal de-
serted his wife after he had lived with
her. but five or six months. Not long
afterward his child was born. While
the officiating person was giving the
infant bath, Sister Weymouth came
in.
Look here!' said she, abe sure and
hold that baby under water long
enough to get all the Frost out of it!'
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
Something New in Bracelets.

The Shakespeare bangle bracelet is
the largest caprice of fashion. 1t has
one value that may commend it as an
edueator--its motto. The average
girl does not care much about Shaks-
peare. She could not quote a line
from any of his plays if her life were
at stake. Her bangle bracelet will act
as '.pony." and she will literally
have the aphorisms of Shakespeare at
her finger ends. The bangles are in
expensive bands of silver the width of
a dimes rim, and on the edge the text
is engraved in letters of small size.
with the name of ths'play and num-
Der of the act. A set of nine or ten
will furnish entertainment for the
evening. The texts runs as follows:
''Twixt such friends as we few words
suffice"
..Win her with gifts if she respect
not words"
Yet my good will is great, though
the gift small"
There's divinity that shapes our
ends, rough hew them how we will
dumb jewels in their silent kind
more than quick words do move"
at is twice blessed; it blesseth him
that gives and him that takes"
Your silence most offends me and
to be merry best becomes YOU"
"To the noble mind rich gifts wax
poor when givers prove unkind."
1--WE will have rings and things and
fine array. "-Detr0;t Free Press.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
America in Asia.

After long and diligent search in a
queer, dark, secondhand booth kept
by swarthy Mongol. was rewarded
by the discovery of a product of Amer
lean genius that partly satisfied my
patriotism and served as a tangible
proof that New England marks the
time to which all humanity keeps step.
1t was an old secondhand clock, made
in Providence, Rhode Island, the bat
tered and somewhat grimy face of
which still bore in capital letters the
characteristic American legend, 'Thir-
ty Hour Joker Mongolia might
know nothing of American literature
or of American magazines, but 1t had
made the acquaintance of the Ameri-
can clock; and although this particular
piece of mechanism had lost it's hands,
its Thirty Hour Joker was sufficient
ly pointed allusion to the national
characteristic to satisfy the most ar
dent patriotism. An American joker
does not need hands to point out the
merits of his jokes, and this mutilated
New England clock. with its empty
key-hole eyes and its battered but still
humorous visage, seemed to leer at me
out of the darkness of that queer old
secondhand shop as if to say, You
may come to Siberia, you may explore
Mongolia, but you can't get away from
the American Joker l was a little
disappointed not to find in this bazaar
some representative masterpiece of
American literature, but | was more
than satisfied short time afterward
when l discovered in still wilder and
more remote part of the Trans-Baikal
a copy of Mark Twain's Life on the
Mississippi and Russian translation
of Bret Harte's Luck of Roaring
Camp "-Ge0. Kea1naa7, IN the Century
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
Much Improved.

A well-known western orator is fond
of telling the following story about
himself-a story which gives proof OF
the fact that many unpromising boys
develop into famous and brilliant men.
He had given his finest aud most care
fully prepared lecture for the benefit
of a small library in his native town.
At the close of the lecture he was ap.
preached by an old man, who offered
his hand and said: How do you do.
Henry? Don't know me. do youp"
No, | don't think do"
"Well, | know you, Henry. I've
knowed you ever since you wuz knee
high to duck, an | think you done
yourself credit tonight, Henry, spesh-
ly when kin remember the time when
it didn't pear to me that you had sense
enough to come in when it raned; you
wuz the greenest gourd bout twenty
year ago, you RELY wuz"-Yo Youths
COMPANION.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
manitomof pilot.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 90, 1889.
Yarns by Gen. Sherman.

There are few men living who pos
sess Gen. Sherman's faculty for rarely
repeating the same anecdote. 1t is
not often that any man can be found,
says Washington letter, after reach
ing the age of sixty, who does not I'M
consciously tell the same story two or
three times if at all given to reminis-
cence, but it is generally safe to as
sumo that the commander of the army
of the Tennessee tells something new
every time he opens his mouth. While
swapping stories with Gen. Lew Wal
lace and Senator Daniel the other day
he said: down in Selma | wanted to
get a good personal inspection of the
ground and left my horse with an or
derby while | took trip on foot, The
main body had advanced and the
skirmishers had gone to the rear. l
passed two fellows lying flat on their
stomachs in the underbrush. They
were playing poker. | heard one of
them say: i see your five hundred and
raise you thousand This struck me
as an extraordinary stake for soldiers
who got $40 a month, and my curiosity
was excited. | stepped up and saw
packed with bank notes. As | got
closer, however, found it was confed-
crate money that they were playing
with. | suppose they had $4,000 be-
tween them. Why, the ante in that
game was 800 and no limit"
Gen. Wallace made good sally at
Sherman's expense just after this rela-
ton. Sherman was telling about a
very clever woman spy, who had
passed through the confederate lines
and had travelled nearly 1000 miles to
reach his headquarters and report.
"She was one of the most extraordin-
airy women | ever saw" he said, land
supplied me with very valuable inform
alton. She not only gave plans and
drawing, but she was able to tell of
intended movements that ought not
to have been known to any person
outside of the commander of the OPP
posing forces and his most trusted adj
visers. 1 asked her if she needed
money, and she said that to continue
her work she must have $500 in green
backs and 3,000in confederate money.
| 90 the $500, but | was doubtful about
getting such large sum as $4,000 even
in rebel script. | called in Gen. Kill
patrick and asked him ii he could get
some contraband money. How niue
do you need?' he asked. A pretty
good sum- | replied; $1,000 Oh
said Fitzpatrick, that is small mat
ter. | always carry that sum in my
Clothes and he pulled $1,000 out of
his pocket and counted it out. Strange
to say" continued Gen. Sherman, mus
ingly, Il have never seen that woman
since the war closed.n
WELL" said Wallace, with a twinkle
in his eye, ''then she must surely be
dead. No living woman would ever
let You 90 that easilY.n
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
Our Girls Are just Great.

Priscilla, the puritan maiden, would
probably Lave been shocked had she
been asked to become n member of a
feminine baseball team and, after due
practice, challenge the nine in which
Miles Standish and John Alden were
playing. Priscilla was a very nice girl,
as girls went hundred years ago, but
our Priscllas are just as much ahead
of the old girls in physical culture as
were such men rs Miles Siandish and
John Alden ahead of our dudes as to
manliness and brains. The female
baseball team of Pittsfeld, Mass,
high school will challenge nine from
the Fendle Mound company of Pough-
keepsie, some time WASHINGTON Post.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
Twas a Common Name There.


One of the most prominent citizens
of Hartford is Rodney Dennis, the sec
rotary of an insurance company. He
is not self-important, but still is one
who expects a good deal of considera-
ton, and gets it. Not long ago the
company made number of loans
through a Colorado broker named
Henry. Interest and principal failed
to materialize, and Mr.. Dennis went
to investigate. The sole occupant of
Henry's Office was a young man, who
sat tilted back in chair with his feet
on the window-sill. His response to
inquiries was extremely unsatisfactory,
and presently Mr.. Dennis became an
CRY, and said, with emphasis:
MY name is Dennis
That's been everybody's name here
for week." said the languid young
man.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
How to Get Rid of Tramps.

The tramp being the product of law,
he will disappear when the laws Great
ing him are repealed. Everything that
restricts eXertlon, that chains the indi-
vidual to locality, that deprives him
of the right to work and to freely ex-
change his products, aids in the crea-
ton of the tramp and helps propagate
the long train of evils that follow in
his footsteps. The cure for the tramp,
then, is liberty-libcrty to attack ma
ture and wiring from her a living;
liberty to make such a disposition of
his products as seems to him the most
desirable; liberty to do anything that
does not conflict with the liberty of
others. Detroit NcUs
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
FROM AN OHIO MINISTER

/ have used DR.. Warmers White Wine
of Tar Syrup for sore throat, weak lungs
coughs, colds, or any diseases of the
kind; it surpasses all other remedies I
have tried. With many thanks to the
doctor for his valuable remedy. remain
Clyde. O: Rev. q. W. HAGANs.
NEVER SAW ITS EQUAL.
DIR. Warner-Kind Sir: L received
the bottle Of White Wine of Tar Syrup
you sent me and have used it, and will
say think it cannot be excelled for con-
sumption, coughs and colds. At least I
have never tried anything that seemed
to relieve and benefit me as that did.
Rev. Z. z. BEAvERs, Perche, Mo. %
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
Newly the Upstairs of

Newly orker-"Do the Upstairs of
Philadelphia belong to the best So
cietv there?" Philadelphia dame
THE best society! Bless your inno-
cent heart, of course they do! Why,
many and many a moonlight night
Eve seen their cats and Biddle's cat
bowling on the same fence. "-Neao
York Weekly.
Carboy-Mr. Pipes, l believe there
is gas escaping in my house. What
shall l do to prove it? Pipes (the
plumber) Why don't you take a
match and test the joints. Carboy Gin
alarm)-But it might explode and
blow me up! Pipes (coolly)-Well,
YOU wouldn't want any better proof
than that, would you?-Drake's Maya.
zine.
The young man who forged his way
to the front is now in the prnitentiary.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
WOUID YOI REIIENE

TIE proprietor Of Kemp's BaIsam gives
Thousands of Bottles away yearly? This
mode of advertising would prove ruin
GUS if the Balsam was not perfect cure
of Cough and all Throat and Lung
troubles. You will see the excellent eff
feet after taking the first Dose Don t
hesitate! Procure bottle to day to
keep in your home or room for immedi-
ate or future use. Trial bottle free at
all druggists. Large size so cents and
$1.00. 1noyS9
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
EPOCH

The transition from long. lingering
and painful sickness to robust health
marks an epoch in the life of the in iiv
dual. Such remarkable event is treas
ured in the memory and the agency
whereby the good health has been at
tanned is gratefully blessed. Hence it
is that so much is heard in praise of
Electric Bitters. So many feel they owe
their restoration to health, to the use of
the Great Alternative and Tonic. If you
are troubled with any disease of Kid
neys. Liver or Stomach, of long or short
standing you will surely find relief by
use of Electric Bitters. Sold at Soc and
81 per bottle at Henry Hinrichs Drug
store.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
THE WORLD MOVES!

Don't disgust everybody with the of
fensive odor from your catarrh just be-
cause some old fogy doctor, who has not
discovered and Will not believe that the
world moves, tellsyo it cannot be cured
The manufacturers of DR.. Sages Catarrh
Remedy have for many years offered, in
good faith $500 reward for a case of
nasal catarrh, no matter how bad or how
long standing, which they cannot cure,
They are thoroughly responsible fnanci
ally, as any one can learn by proper en-
quiry through druggists who sell the
medicine at only so cents, and they
"mean business"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
A Reformation.

Deacon Podsnap: "Well, threw
Hooligan out of my building to-day"
The Rev. Wilgus: II am glad to hear
it brother | can not think that the
rent for such a disreputable dive-if l
may use the expression-could be re-
ceived conscientiously by Christian. !"
II wasn't receiving any rent. He owes
me for three months. "-Ierre Haute
EIDreSS.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
The Girls Mission.

Here is the description which one
Vassar girl gave of another at the class
day exercises yesterday:
"She goes to the opera, TO parties, and balls;
She pas es her mornings i'll shopping and
CALLS
She dances and chances and fiirts wee bit,
And for studies perplexing she cares not a
whit"
Good! She will undoubtedly get a
good husband while the other girls are
trying to find out whether the hen
made the egg or the egg made the hen.
The supreme mission OF every young
woman is to marry some man and
make him happy. Vassar college can't
alter human nature.-N T. Herald
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29

Miss Westend docking over invita-
ton lisD-"Wby, mamma, you have
left out ever so many nice young men,
scores of them" Mrs. Westend-"I
know it, dear, but You are engaged,
and there is no use having them.
They all live in heightened boarding
houses, where there is more style than
meat, and when they come here they
eat US out of house and home Phil
adelphid Record.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29

GREAT French Remedy. DIR. LEDUC'S PERIOD
ICAL PILLS, from Paris, France, act only the
generatiVe organs in females and positively cures
suppression of the menses (from whatever cause),
and all periodical troubles peculiar to women.
A safe, reliable remedy, warranted to excite men,
SITUATION or money refunded. Should not be
used during pregnancy. The large proportion of
the Ills to which ladies subject is the direct
result of disordered and irregular menstruation.
Robt. Stevenson x Co., Chicago. III. Boswarth 4
Co. Milwaukee, Wholesale Agt. +. c. Buerstatte,
NJ b., Manitowoc, Wis. e130mayU
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
Reducing Weight.

One of the easiest ways to reduce
weight Is TO wear short flannel
sweater and ride on brisk trot. If
the horse trots roughly and the rider
bounces up and down in the saddle so
much the better. Ten pounds week
can be lost by this process. The best
kind of sweater is made by taking four,
six, or eight tiicknesses of flannel and
wrapping them around the loins and
lower part of the chest. The upper
chest should be left free
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
FOR HAY FEVER

"Give Ey's Cream Balm a trial.
This justly celebrated remedy for the
cure Of catarrh, hay fever, cold in the
head, &C., can be obtained Of any re-
putable druggist, and may la rolled
upon as q safe and pleasant l. aedy for
the above complaints and viii. give i'm
mediate relief. 1t is not liquid, snuff
or powder, has no offensive odor and can
be used at any time with good results, as
thousands can testify, among them some
of the attaches of this Office. "-Spira, Of
the Times. 5
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
THEIR BUSINESS BOOMING

THEIR BUSINESS BOOMING
Probably no one thing has caused such
general revival of trade at Henry Hin
richs Drug Store as their giving away to
their customers flee trial bottles of DIR
Kings New Discovery for Consumption
Their trade is simply enormous in thi .
very valuable article from the fact that
it always cures and never disappoints
Coughs, Colds, Asthma, Bronchitis
Group, and all throat and lung diseases
quickly cured. Youcan test before buy
ing by getting trial bottle free, large
size 81. Every bottle warranted.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29

SAvED-A fine family of children were
all afflicted with scrofula. Two died
early; the rest would soon have followed
but for the timely and preserving use of
Ayers Sarsaparilla, which built them up
into healthy and vigorous manhood.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
BUCKLEN'S ARNTCA SATVF

BUCKLEN'S ARNICA SALVE.
THE BEST SALvE in the world for Cuts
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup-
tons, and positively cures Piles, or no
pay required. 1t is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction. or mouey refunded.
Price 25 cents per box q Jan 90
FOR SALE By Henry Hinriohs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
CONSUMPTION SURELY CURED.

To THE EDIToR-Please inform your readers
that have positive remedy for the above
named disease. By its timely use thousands Of
hopeless cases have been permanently cured
| shall be glad TO send two bottles of my rene
DIV FREE To any of your readers who have con-
sumption if they will send me their express
and post office address Respectfully. f1oetss
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
The Modern Cnolr.

"Ah thcrei' the tenors shrek so loud: "Ah
there,' replied the sopranos shrill;
"Ah, tnerei' roar out the basSo crowd; "Ab
there" the altos softly trilis;
And then the choir together sing in one
meIodiuus flood:
Are there no sins to lie forgiven. or washed
away in bloodf"
-Decke in Puck.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
Poetry and Beer

He was fairly well dressed as to hat
and coat, but his trousers were bad
and his shoes had no heels. In the
language of the street, man is re-
spectacle so long as he has heels on
his shoes; so our friend was hardly re-
spectacle. He went into saloon on
Seventh street and told the barkeeper
he would like beer, book beer, if the
barkeeper had it. Then the stranger
said softly, as if to himself. but loud
enough for the barkeeper to hear.
..Once there was a Dutchman named Hugle,
Who was learning to play on a bugle,
But he got high note
Crossways in his throat,
And he only could play Yankee Doodle"
The jingle made the barkeeper
laugh. and he put less foam on the
beer than was his wont. As he reached
for the beer and looked at it thlrstily,
the stranger said: Here's another
one:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
Easy Enough.

"How can you tell a poor cigar
without smoking it, Smith?' ''By
looking at the picture on the box, my
friend. If the picture is pretty the
CIGAR is bad. n-B0st0n CO1i3ier.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29

The barkeeper had his ears cooked for
another jingle, and the sudden termi-
nation made him laugh more than the
Jingle would. And the young man
with nc heels on his shoes was 4 square
up the street before the barkeeper re-
membered that he had not paid for his
beer. WASHINGTON Critic.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
THE UNIVERSAL VERDICT OF
THE PEOPLE.


Who have used Clarke's Extract of
Flax (Papillon) Skin Cure award it the
first and highest place as a remedial
agent in all cases of Skin Diseases,
Erysipela,, Eczema, Pimples, unsightly
blotches, humiiiating eruptions, Boils,
Carbuncles, letter, ETC., all yield to this
wonderful preparation at once. Price
81 90 for large bottle J. E. Barnstein' s
Drugstore. Clarke's Flax Soap is good
for the Skin. Try it, Price % cents.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
Yellow as Egyptian mummy,

Yellow as Egyptian mummy
Was his sallow face,
Ana seemed very dummy
OF the human race.
Now he brimmed with sunshine DER
His clear and sparkling eye
Tells Us that ne lives in clover;
Ask you the reason why?
What has wrought the transform alton?
DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Purgative Pellets
restored this deiapidated individual IN
single week. Nothing like them to re-
gulate the liver, stomach and bowels.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29

Ladder Fell. Galveston, Texas. June Is, 1sss-
Fell from ladder; bruised and sprained my foot
and wrist; suffered i've days; WAS cured by S..
Jacobs Oil. JOSHUA WYIkTa
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29

Best Results. East Pro vidence, R. l., June SIS.
While in the employ If the Barstow Stow Co.
applied your St. Jacobs Oil to many bad burns Of
the moulders, and Always with best results.
GEO. W. HORTON.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29

knee-Cap Hurt. Hall Ind, Aug 10, 1883.
Knee-cap hurt and Suffered months,
bottles of st. Jacobs Oil perma nently restored me
c c. McMoRRIS.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29

Horses are never in the affirmative.
They always say neigh.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29
Farms for Sale in Door CO.

me farm OF 20 acres near Stokes post Office
having % acres cleared, balance hard wood tim
orchard on 1T. and distant one-half mile from a
post oihce store and saloon will be sold cheap
Terms: One half down, balance on time.
=, lave several other farms for sale. Apply
h.P,Gody, Sturgeon Bay, Door Co.. Wis
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1889-08-29

Eighty highway robbers were exc
cuted at Pekin last month.