River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1889-07-11
An ADAPTIVE STEED.
Typographical ISlacksmith's BIhnde
aud Its Consequences.

A Typographical Blacksmith's BIhuder-
aud Its Consequences.
I inserted the following advertise
ment in our village paper the other
day:
w Apply. etc
and have had a great deal Of soul
twisting spor, ont Of it. The compos-
itOr. who works in "A bait-factory five
days in the week. performed "A notable
feat in recreation, by making a
"horse" out of a ''hOuse." and I've
been holding Tattersalrs reception
ever since.
Before the paper was printed, the
top of torn Lively stable bill-hoad
was handed in to ne one evening, and
following this informal card came the
proprietor himself Ere ] could ex-
plain that it was n chalet aud not a
palfrey that l wanted. he had preached
this enticing sermon:
Zone 4 tn Mirrors proof-shoets
bowed out tn winder, an | seen into
it that you wanted small boss. I've
got one that's smaller than Uncle lobe
Benham, an he's small 'nough { feed
seed catalogues to a shoat. Small?
Why. / let her out t other day
in village cart to old Miss
Wclkin an she didn't know
more'n { set right plum over Ia axle.
When that fat tarrierof hcrn jumped
in behind. what does tn hull outfit do
but turn a back han spring. an tn
hoss. she came down Hat on her saddle
Jest tn opposite Of whore she was. an
Miss Wel6in shut up like q deer-knife
tween tn seat an tn gutter"
venturcd 10 hint that ! had no idea
of buying "a horse. but the dealer evil
IDENTIFY thought this mere subterfuge
to knock him down on price. and he
kept right on:
You needn't be 'fraid that she's too
small. though. he said. She's tn
KNOWN est thing you ever see.
I've got three sets Of harness fer
her. each on EN- one size bigger than
t other When / let her out to Mr.
Freesou, the parson. she knows he's
kinder dign'fed. an she draws her
self up, an STAINS on tip-toe5. an
swells out, SOS / have { put on num-
Der one.
Then when they's a funeral, an
thirgs is kinder av'rage all round,
she's what yer cali nominal an mum
Der two goes; but when Silc Dyer hires
her I let his rickety boy go up . Ken
sico for cider, you'd orter see her, She
sort'r shrinks all up. an draws her
legs in, an coughs jest as nat'ral as
assumption.
Jest think how handy she'd be for
you ro5nd tn place. Size II eat any
thin Brigand. tn butcher, tells me
that you always run a bit shors toward
tn last of The week. That : TIA time
she'll haul in. an be contented with
plate r-skins an old cdrl-papers. Then
when things gifts better. an you have
a fair dinner, she ~ put on her mex
size. an 'dapt herself { what lobster
salad an fixins you have left over; an
Mondays after Tn Sunday dinner she II
expand, an you won't have t have no
refuse carts a-comin' inter TIA yard
She ; sound an, kind. Mister Gotham.
an afraid Of nothin'"
Here was Ioop-hole OF escape, and
! crawled through.
IF ! bought horse, 80 ] whispered.
II should like one just like yours; but
that last clause rather decides me not
to make a trade. As M wife and chill
dren would probably drive il more than
I should Chere / edged him toward the
door,. l should have 10 insist on an
animal that is not afraid Of any thing"
That's what ] mean, he walled;
but | pushed him out on the front
porch and locked the door.-PuclS.