Milford chronicle. [volume] (Milford, Del.) 1878-1974, 1889-08-23
MUST FIT COMFORTABLY.
HATS AND CoNsciENcEs MUST SIT
WELL ON THE WEARER.

WELL ON THE WEARER.
The Matchmaker Was a Fac Mechanic,
but He Couldn't Put Burdette's Hat on
Right-It Is just as Difficult for One
Man to Fit Another Out with Conscience.
My son, one day / stood at a work bench.
looking at friend who was putting a watch
together. The delicate bits Of machinery
that he adjusted and set In place, tiny screws
I scarce could see as they lay on his table,
delicate springs, fairy like wheels, that seem
ed all too dainty for anything but ornament;
the work which he did so deity was little less
than miracle to me- l said to him: II see
you have some artificial eyes in the Window
you could make a real eye, that could see, if
a man preferred it to a glass one, couldn't
your But the matchmaker only laughed
and said: "No; that was little beyond him.
But don't know, my boy; don't know. As
looked at him putting that watch together,
and especially after he told me that he could
make watch had an idea that he could
make human eye il he gave his whole mind
to it.
By and by he said, "Come, this is enough
for one day; let's go out and hear McQuaid
/ cdAA Oh LOT . DdstDdll EOluAQns 4t NduEnL
up my hat and slapped it ON my head. 'That
isn't right" said. He laughed and adjusted
! it more carefully. Flows thatf' It wasn't
right again, 50 put it on myself, showed him
how wore 1t, and, after examining its posi-
| ton closely, he took it OFF and tried to read
| just it. He tried it over and over for five
minutes, and then gave it up He could
make a watch, he could adjust the most deli
cate arrangement of mechanism the human
eye can see, and do It accurately, so the watch
would keep time for years, but he couldn't
put a soft felt hat, only worth dollar, on my
careless head, just as always wear it, or as l
want it, for / am not sure that a man ever
wears his hat twice in the same position.
THEY NEVER FIT.
It's something no man can do for another
put his hat on for him. Mothers fondly
think they can put their boys hats on for
them, but it is a feat that has never been per-
formed There Is always a final touch Just
a mere shadow Of touch, not much more
than a gesture, may be, a shake Of the head,
a some sort of a motion that adjusts things,
settles hat and head into perfect and COM
Portable relations with each other, which the
man must make for himself You can't put
another mans hat on for him and do it right
Now, my boy, once in a while man comes
to me who can't put my hat on for me, but
who essays, with sublime confidence, to fit |
me with a conscience. He orders my way Of |
living, Of doing, of speaking and thinking |
He picks up my conscience, turns 1t around /
with the bow on the wrong side, straightens |
out the brim, smoothes out the crease or the |
dent that l always wear in it, sets it straight /
across the back of my neck, so to speak, |
holds it tight while he pulls the front of it so |
far down over my eyes that my ears stand |
out like lateen sails, slaps it down hard on /
top of my head, and says "There"
He can't put on my hat, he admits that,
but he willard thinks he can-adjust my
conscience. Sometimes I wear it as this we'll
meaning friend wishes me to, but 1t never
fits; am always a little uneasy with it that
way; am always nervously afraid that it
will blow Off, and man chasing around after
his conscience in a gale of wind is a spectacle
at once undigniied, pitiful and heartrending.
Now, my boy, perhaps my friends way of
wearing his hat is the correct thing; do not
know. But it frets me, it inks me as We walk
along the street to have him continually polk
ing at my hat to make it set on my head Just
as his does on his own. And when am sure
that he is not looking at me l shake my head
she settles; she lays herself right
in the leads and feels as easy as a quiet CON
science right away.
do not object to correction; it always
seemeth grievous, I admit; but am willing
to receive it. If I hang my hat on my ear
am willing to have friendly hand place it
on my head, and 1 will wear it there; but 1
am going to give it the final adjusting shake
or touch myself. If 1 tilt it over my eyes
and balance it on my nose, will tilt it back
when my attention is called to it, but will
push it back just where l want it, not where
the other man wants it. Mad enough he
would be if took hold of his hard, stiff hat,
which he wears straight across his brows-
and very becoming the style is to his peculiar
type Of beauty-and tilted it over, Just a
little out of line, as prefer to wear mine.
Fortunate would be if he didn't snatch it of
his head and smite me a resounding thump
with it before he replaced it.
--.---. LIN.