The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-01-07
SENDS HIS REGRETS.
A Kansas Editor Explains why He Cannot
he Present at Harrison's Inauguration.

A Kansas Editor Explains why He Cannot
he Present at Harrison's Inauguration.
Garden City Herald.
We are in receipt of polite request from
the COMMITTEES on Invitation to attend the
Inauguration ceremonies at Washington on
March 4, 1889, but owing To circumstances
beyond our control we shall be compelled
to respectfully decline. Some people would
send in a cold, formal declination and let
the matter drop, but we are not built that
way. We feel honOred, and grateful that
we have not been overlooked IN the make
up" and we are going to tell the committee
what ails us and why we are not there with
our imposing dome of thought and august
presence. The committee think we have
me,I pass and NOT eould 6ut attend Just a as
ceived and We feel it a religious
duty TO disabuse the minds of its unso-
phisticated members They never lived in
western Kansas and struggled with re-
lentless fate and q want of moisture, until
there was not enough flesh OF their under
fed anatomies TO cover their Intellects, and
their aspirations to be good and great had
become ashamed of their surroundings and
hid in the swishes and swirls of the sand
hills. They never knew what it was to
feed on expectation and the gorge0usness
and beauty of an unobstructed landscape
until they became as diaphanous as a grand
daddy long-legs, and the balmy zephyIs
swept through their attenuated heart
strings, eliciting music as mellifiuous
as the strains of an 2Ollan harp.
Scarcely. They don't know. how
appallingly INDECENT we are out here on
the border, with nothing to shelter us
press, but an occasional mirage, and with
no covering but the blue sky, and that
worn into holes in some places. so as TO let
the light through, not TO mention lots or
laid down on the buffalo grass and big in
voice of fieas and slept the sleep of
pioneer with mortgage on hlt claim and
a-ten-per-cent-a-mOnt octopus lien on his
household goods, family heirlo0mS and an
cestral honor, and Toasted for months on q
diet of sand plums and water, and still
thanked God for home in this favored
land-favOred with mortgage fiends and
short-loan .Shylocks. In the absence of
such experience they don't know how &C.
statically and superbly we gloat over the
grandeur and glory of our profession. with
what generous and magnificent pride we
reflect upon our position, and how intense
ly regretful we are that we cannot mingle
with the savants, statesmen, ward bummers
and thieves, and help TO lnaugurate Presl-
dent of this great United States of America,
b'gOsh! One thing that prevents us from
going to the inauguration is a want of
transportation, as we'll as the wherewithal
with which to purchase IL. A man can
stand off the local dealer in groceries, but -
story about a lame leg or a recent robbery
in a lonely and sequestered spot on clondy
railroad or postotfice. We have
tried it, and speak authoritatlvely.
Our pass only reaches to the Missouri line.
and we are not sure of having il next year.
The railroad threatens 10 take il away
from us because we are not as influential AZ
we were fOrmerly-just as if man could
remain large and powerful on the promises
and buoyancy of a sanguine nature ard
the prophetic beckonings of "A rosy corn-fcd
futlirel We can't walk to Washington in
pair of parlOr slippers and July socks. and
that is all the footgear we possess. we are
sorry to admit, at the present time. We
want Mr.. Harrison, and his wife, too, 10
understand that we had no unkind feelings
toward them. and that we think the crowd
that will gather at Washington will be or
dinarily respectable, and that we are not
absenting ourself for any reason for which
they are in any manner responsible. If we
were TO attend we should want to take IN
the ball and perchance shassay around
with the girls in the may dance, whatever
that is. but we should not look well In
linen buster and bare hands, yet, we are
sorry to say, those things constitute large
proportion of our wardrobe at the presene
writing We trust our absence will not In
any manner interfere with any of the pro-
ceedings. We sincerely hope that Mr.. Har-
rison will not omit his address because We
cannot be present to hear il. 1t is our de-
sire that the ball should 60 on just as if we
were to be there. Let nothing be omitted
from the programme. The committee have
our thanks, and also the positive assurance
that we will not be there.