The Grenada gazette. (Grenada, Miss.) 1885-18??, 1889-11-29
HONEST CARL DUNDER.
The Old Fellow Is Catching On to Amer
lean Ways at Last.

lean ways at Last.
Hello! Mr.. Dunder!' saluted Sergeant
Bendall as that individual entered tho
Central station, with a broad, satisfied
smile on his countenance,
Hello! Sergeant. Vhas eaferythings
all right nit your
u guess SC. You look happy"
Sergeant, | yhas shust like sweet oil.
No more troubles for me. ! vhas catch
ing on to do shust like Americans"
i am glad of that. You used TO be
terribly greun."
so | yhas. Three months ago doan
know some beans in q bag. LA! ha.
Der lows come along und take me- for
some grass. II it rains | shtandt right
put doors und get wet. Ha! ha! 1t
makes me laugh when | see how green |
vhas!'
Anything happened lately9" queried
the sergeant, in a careless way.
'Vhell, not mooch. Some fellers try
to beat me, but dey doan' make oudt. I
vhas too sharp for EN-. One Teller comes
along nit six pairs OF sheep-shcars in a
'hlfNAt ~ atil HdtG " StAl opot
shears, but he likes to borrow three dol
lars for one day und leaf EN- for secur-
tty. If he doan' come pack in one day
lose shears vhas mine
Il see"
HE doan' come pack. Maybe he
break his leg or something, but dot vhas
nothing to me. | keep dose shears. Ii
somepody beats me, sergeant, he shall
haf to get oop VERY early in der mora
ing"
Il presume so. Have you the shears
shcre?"
Il hat. | belief you like to see en-"
They arc worth two shillings a pair"
said the sergeant, after an inspection.
You are out Of pocket fourteen shill-
lngs, and what do you expect to do with
sh~eep-shears?"
"lleafensl l doan' think of dot!'
Mr.. Dunder as he grew white in
he face.
ANY thing elsc?"
"Vhcll, | get my life insured. Idoan'
belief vhas sheated by dot. A Teller
'omes along und says vhas / Carl Dun
Ter? | yhas. Well, der President of
Ter United States says he likes me to
all on you and insure your life. Dis
has a new company und a new idea. |
ct you in by der ground floor. l like
our name to influence oddcr people.
"'llow vhas dot new idea?'
You pay only two dollars eafery
wenty years, and if you die your wife
$75, 900, 1t vhas der biggest thing
ut. Shildrens cry for it. Vanderbilt,
hay Gould, Russell Sage und all der
ig fellows vhas into it. How oldt you
has-who yhaS your grandmother-how
lany teeth have you lost oudt--vhas
eafcr bit by some dogs-did you eater
a white horSe-how often you fall
own stairs-do you ride on some bicy-
les, und dis yhas der truth, der whole
ruth, und nothing but der truth"
And he wanted the two dollars in adj
queried the sergeant.
"Of course. Dot was to pay for
wearing me" J
well, You are beaten again, Mr.. Dun
er. Insurance men don't do business {
1at way. Good day. S
How you mean?" {
"You had better go home. Have you
Of a tub in your house?"
'Of course" {
ANY bran at the barn?n )
Yes"
wv ell, make the tub about half full I
mash and then put your head to soak !
II about forty-eight hours. When
rough buy some No, 4 sand-paper and =
dish it down to the bone L
Sergeant, vhas some grocnhorns?" c
"You are"
Will l eafer learn so~mcthings?n \
"Never." !
Then, goodbye. I shan't try no c
ore. 1t vhas a queer country, und {!
vhas der same two times alike. !
hen my body was brought in here
IAN make fun of it. Shust use it shcnt-
und say dot did SO well ash could" .
Detroit Free Press. !