The times., 1889-11-22
Just said A. There was

with nothing but meat victuals and
hard bread-I tell We we pined after
onions and such truck worse'n them
old Isr'elites in the hymn book did!
l we'll remember how one day Char
ley Bliss was roarin' out that old hymn:
The way is all new, as 1t opens to view.
An behind is the foamin' Red sea,
So none now need to speak of the onions and leeks
And don't talk about garlic to me.
Chaplin stepped up, as solemn as a
clam, and threatened to punch his
head.
stop that blarsted tuner says he.
I'm nigh about ready to desert for a
head of cabbage, and / can't bear to
hear onions made light Of"
There was one colonel had a regi-
ment in camp along of us who was the
greatest hand to nag the men you ever
see. He was as pernickity as an old
maid and as notional as an old bache-
lor. He KEEP the men up to drill as
though twas salvation, and inspected
them within an inch of their lives,
and called that discipline; and p'rhaps
it was.
But he done worse; he KEEP settin'
traps for to ketch the men nappin'.
He'd travel outside the videttes and
pickets SOS to see if they was awake
and alert, and if they wasn't, then
they had to take it.
Well, as was sayin', we were new
to the business, and to be spied on and
roared at and ketched nappin' made us
all pretty snappish, and Cool himself,
who was ordinarily as clever as could
be, was stirred up.
'Pll fix himi' says he, one night,
when we was talkin' it over by the
fire. "Wait till my turn comes"
Sure enough, the next night he was
on vidette duty, and he heerd noise
in the bushes. Up went his musket.
''Who goes therea" he roared.
''Oficer of the day." says the
colonel
Il know no officer of the day out
side the lines; throw up your hands,
dismount and surrender" yelled Cool.
Il tell you I'm officer of the day"
says the colonel, madder'n q yeller
hornet.
II know no officer of the day out
side the lines; dismount or fire, re-
peated Cool.
Well, the colonel r'ared and sput-
tered, but Cool never lowered his gun,
and finally the colonel had to dis
mount and come along toward Cool.
Il tell you, you blockhead, I'm Col
Blank, officer of the day."
Cool cooked his gun and leveled it
at the feller's head, sayin' again:
II know no officer of the day out
side the lines; give up your side arms
or | shall shoot you through the
head"
Well, the colonel RELY b'lieved
Cool didn't reco'n 'nize him, SO he handed
over his side arms, and Cool marched
him in clear through the camp to
headquarters, an handed him over to
the general.
/ tell you Mister Blank got charge
o. cold shot in the line o. tongue lash
in that time, for the general was full
O. steel; but Cool got promoted for
bravery.
When we got to Port Hudson, one
night before the battle we was lyin'
round on the ground, and Cool he was
stretched out on his back, sort of tilt
ed up against a little stump, fast
asleep. lay about twenty feet off,
and we had fire goin', so't l could
see him layin' there like big log,
mouth wide open and big feet turned
toes up jest though the want nothin'
goin' on.
Pretty soon L heard "zip zip!" and a
minnie bullet just took off the toe of
one of those great army shoes, and
then buried itself in the stump close
to his ear; just shaved It'll He riz up
q little.
whats goin' on2" says he.
why" said /, 'there's some bull
lets a-fyin' round here, and one nigh
about shot off your ear. You'll find
it in that stump"
He looked around, as quiet as Sun
day.
''Well, I'll get leetle out O. their
way" says he, and with that rolled
over about foot to the left, shut his
eyes and was snorin' inside of three
minutes.
After the battle was over we had to
stay on the field pretty much all night.
When we begun to fall back next
morning there wasn't any way to get
to camp but through ravine that the
enemy's guns raked-and they kept
rakin' of us into another world pretty
spry as we went through the gully.
We couldn't take along the wound
ed, so they crept into the bushes the
best they could, and there they had to
lie all day before we could 60 after
'em and fetch 'em out. 1t was hard,
but that's war.
But we couldn't let 'em lie there all
through that hot day, with no water
and nothin' to stanch their wounds,
soabout noontime we got leave to call
for volunteer to 90 over to 'em.
Now betwixt us and that ravine
there was about forty rods of old
field, as bare as a brick, right in the
enemy's range. 1t was pretty smart
risk to run to cross that field, with
water and cotton, and we all knew it;
but the word for q volunteer wasn't
out of cap'en's mouth before old Cool
jumped up.
"fll go sir' says he. IT haven't
got no membranes to home, and he
grinned. So he started out with ten
canteens full of water slung onto him
and bundle of cotton under his arm.
"Cool," says !, tryin' to act as
though b'lieved he was certin sure
to pet there. ''you be real economical