Morning journal and courier., 1889-09-10
ELAN KS.

The bullet-headed man generally has @ blank cartridge brain.-New York Jour- nal.
 Love is weakness, but 1t is too strsng for most of its unhappy victims.- vile Journal.
 If grass when it is cured becomes hay, ,what do grass widows when they are cured become, hey?"-Philadelphi Press.
 "Don't keep the parlor dark" says the doctor. He is an envious married man, of course.-New York World.
 The town of Sandwich has celebrated it's 250th anniversary. Other sandwiches might do the same.-New York Tribune.
 Cannibalism in Chicago seems to be inc creasing, to judge by this open advertise ment in The News: "78 4th Ave.-Wanted Lady to Cook. life.
 A clergyman as a rule doesn't feel oompli- mented when he sees 1t stated in paper that there Is always great deal of awakening at the close of the sermon.-NewYork Tribune.
 T. Totalla-sT see 1t stated that a man can get roaring drunk on water" c. Wanaker-"I should say he could. You ought to go to Larchmont regatta oncel"- Puck.
 s'I don't calculate that doctors can always tell what ails you" an old woman once ex- plained, "but hold to taking all the things can get, ana It StauO0 to fea6OQ GQ8G SOmo of 'em's going to hit the trouble" "I don't understand how you can stay SO continually in the house this summer. Heel as If must get away, if only to see some now faces" "Oh, don't need to go for that. My wife has new servant every day."- ! Fliegende Blatter.
 Tommy-"Where is Variance, Mrs. Peck!' | Mrs. N. Peek-"I do not know, Tommy. ] never heard of the place before." Tommy ! "Thats funny, for mamma said that you and | MT. Peck were at variance two-thirds of the | time" ."-Terre Haute Express. Drug clerk-'I won't sell you this nor. phine without prescription. I'm afraid to let you have it." Customer-"Do I look l like man who would kill himsslfa" Drug ! clerk-"I don't know. It seems to me if ] ! looked like you I should be greatly tempted to kill myself. ."-Omaha World. Not His Fault.-Head of the House "Well, young man, have received another note from you teacher stating that you are al the foot of your class again. Now this won't "Well, it ain't my fault, pop. was way uI second from last, and now the last boy Jeff school, and have to get back just for that. Texas Siftings.
 "Could you tell me, ," he asked of the clsrl at the laundry agency, and his voice quiv cred with expectancy, eff they have engaged an Englishman lately at the laundrys" "No sir," replied the clerk confidently, "thsJ | hire none but skilled American workmen
 Wy do you ask" "Well," said the stronger sadly, "it Is of no importance now, but from
 the appearance of the shirts and collars tha
 got back this week didn't know but wha
 had clue to Jack the Ripper. ."-Time. Talking of typographical errors, we do no
 remember seeing more horrid specimen o
 this class of blunders than one which ap
 psared in Massachusetts paper not lon,
 ago. At the close of an extended and high
 ly eulogistic obituary notice of deceased
 lawyer, the reporter desired to say that "th'
 body was taken to Hull for intermsnt, wher
 repose the remains of other members of tn family" By mistake letter "e" was sub
 stitutsd for the Gu" in Hull, changing tn
 sense of the sentence to such a degree tha
 no extra copies of that issue of the pape
 were ordered by the family of the dead law yer.-Burlington Free Press.