Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1889-10-15
NUMBER AZ.
whsr. 60 Lsst for R.@sHes. Nissry.
Prosperity. Ambition. Ets.

wh.r. 10 Lset for Rs@sHs.. Misery.
Prosperity. Ambition. Eis.
II i time honOred practice with the
professional hnmorist % raise the neoes-
,ary laugh 10y twitting women with a
preference for the Advertisements over
tie news columns of the daily journals
Give one of the scx paper, they say,
and shs will Immediately riyei her aiten-
ton on the advertisements. Granting.
for the sake Of Argument. that there u a
sul~traium of truth In this quip, IL yet
remains dehatabhe ground whether OF
not she doe. not show a superior wisdom
10 those who give priority of pcrusal 10
the cablegrams. the Law reports, the par
liamentary debates. the political speeches
~ the leaders.
Advertisements. properly prospccted.
pan out richly In all the qualifications
necessary for entertaining rcading-in
instruction. In romance, In pathos, In
FRESHNESS - ideas and In humor, which
lcing frequently uninientional. Il by NO
means les amusing on that account. In.
deed. many ~ the comic papers contain
testimony to the fact that their comps
crs have discovered gold mines In the
mas. ~ wants-sometimes curious ne
ocssitic- curiously cKprcs-.d-which are
daily set forth In their apportioned space
In the journals u the country The
agony column l. notoriously worth
watching. bat tho mysterious messages
conveyed through that medium DO not
by any means monopolire all the 10
nance u the advertisements nor ali the
humOr.
Ia IL AL. n the reader b. sentimental
or diverling. N be or abe H. callous a.
the exquisite emotions - the tender cor
respondents. to hear from "Rose Blush
that tim, will no, change her love, and
that the fragrance ~ u 'rcmains a. a
sweet od,a. and a. the breath of life" OF
that "viUlet" Intends to meet her "ever
loving CATERS at the dear old haunt
when the clock strikes ten" But there
aru sterncr romanccs than these. -
which glimpss- are frequently obtained
among the small type announcements.
witch arr 80 frequently skipped by the
rrader The romance - the fortune
hunter l. thcrc. and many - the mis-.
deeds of daring criminals are eNposed to
the views ~ readers ~ "ads' by the
police announcements.
The reading ~ advertisements more ~
than the Ierusal u any other part u the
newspaper draws one into the busy
marts % lifc. i0stles one against the
crowd. touchc. one with pity or repels
one with greed; brings one into sharp
contact with sharp men. who an. con-
spring in s1me deep plot a. b-.tray. de-
csivc or defnud so.e trusting Ierson,
and shows one love. misery. ambition
and desTair In all their pha-es. supply.
ing one with the keynote 20 a hundred
dramatic situations II one l. interested
in the world % inventions. it Il la the
Advertising column that the earliest
knowlcdge j. obtainable ~ the most r.
cent device, from the latest improve
ment II a domestic or culinary utensil to
~ remarkable an invention a. that re
Gently announced Tor the especial hsne-
at u yachtsmen, namely, aerial yachts,
ship formed. nayigable balloons, prop's-
sion aud steering perfect. powerful and
facile. capable ~ accommodating from
two to twenty per-ons.'
The column for houses and apart
menis- shows ri--s and fall u fortune. a
bringing together Or separation offriends
perhaps fafnilics-nay b. lovers. No
end - romance may attach to a lost um-
brclla. aud the steps Necessary Tor it res-
tomtion. An auction sale announce
mcnt may b. significant of the di-solu.
tion of soms old family. OF the downfall
of a great man The wanted situa-
ton" column l. full u pathetic stories.
curlly narTatcd-thrco line tales - pa.
Walton. struggle. despair. heroism and
long suffering The advertisements oi
silks and laoes. rare flowers and costly
jewels. tell ~ gayoty aud wealth.
The announcements ~ the toy SHOPS
coniure up a thousand fanciesof childish
rccollcctiou and enjoyment. and the
lawyer. welcome notices ~ something
o. ones advantage. "if this should meet
the eye. suggest many a pleasant theme
~ patient waiting and cheerful endur.
ance bcing az length rewarded by a
kindly request. The nature of legacies.
too. as disclosed by tell tale ads. L. an
interesting held for observation. and one
cannot help smiling At the endeavors Of
a legaiee a. dispose - such inheritances
a. oil family heirlooms. precious 20 the
tc-tator, but despise'i by the disappointed
heir
To the humane the advertising columns
otter many Inducements for pcrusal.
How pleasant for them 90 turn from the
police court records u brutality 10 dumb
animals 10 the DISTRESSED prayers u be-
rcaved masters and mistresses who have
lot some feline or canine PIT. and to
rad. for instance; 'T~o pounds reward.
Strayed frum No. Prince of Wales
terrace. a white Pomennian dog. old
and nearly blind. the hair on the tack
of his neck worn away" Almost every
announcement di-cl0-es some view -
human nature OF awakens a material In
tefcst.
~ ~ lt'ttl NAr w eag AhAA w hhe NJ
refreshments - one issue ~ a London
daily there u more exciting mystery
than In novel by wilkie Collins. Take
the following; Between September 10
middle November. isss. Lady about 30.
gentleman. 30. lunchcd out nearly every
day. except sunday. food. probably hsh
and fowl; drink. rel vine or champagne.
Real information rewarded. For inter
view address, etc. To people weary of
chess problems or business plans, whata
fine exercise for the ingenuity l. proyid.
cd by such an announcement, and the
motive for which such curious informa-
ton l. desired.-London Standard
Doctors Esrping.
Nobody ever heard Of millionaire doc