Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-05-17
NOTES AND NOTIONS.
Many Matters of Much and Little Moment
Tersely Treated.

NOTES AND NOTIONS.
Many Matters of Much and Little Moment
Tcrsely Treated.
| A COLLAPSED frm-Infrm-
CRUsHED-the baseball crank.
No laughing matter-A bad joke.
THE golden mean-the stingy miser.
THE man who opened up his heart probably
died.
GIVE the young men chance. If you don't
somebody else will.
"sAY, do you know the origin of bOlognaf'
''No, dog gone if I do"
AN Omaha editor rises up and howls about
the school bord job"
IT Is the physician who is isappointed inspector
of the interior department
PRoHIBITIoNIsTs say saloon keeper is a
collector of internal revenue.
A FAvoRTTE oath of office with Harrison
should be: BLANK it, shut the door,"
AMERICAN slang makes those Westphalian
| non-union miners Westphalian "hams"
THEY probably call it administration because
it consists in administering ministerships.
SENATOR ROBBINS of Greensburg. looking
gay and festive, was in the city yesterday.
EDISON has invented concentration We
wish he would use it on some friends here.
THAT Austrian agricultural commissioner
knows his business. He went right to Chicago.
In SIX months we are promised an army, but
what in the world is to become of Battery B
then.
FoUR-dollar-a-week Cholly at the summer
goods counter refers to his ma as his cash
mere.
AFTER 50 years of litigation poor Myra Clark
Gaines won her suit. but alas! she had out
grown it.
Two Of Mrs. James Brown Potter's family
have gone into the cheap circus business. This
makes three.
1T is not the natural contradiction in woman
that causes the wife to weep when her bibulous
husband smiles.
MAJOR NEGLEY and President McCreary, Of
the Pleasant Valley street car line, went to
New York last night.
THE management Of the Colored Orphans
Home, Greenwood street. Allegheny, are ad.
yerusing for matron.
As dernier resort will the Allies please
follow the labor unions example and go out on
strike for good and all?
AN Ohio journal walls Next to a clean con-
science, give us clean shirt" Ohio journalists
evidently don't wear shirts.
WHAT pity Kemmler, Of Buffalo, who is to
be electrocided June "a, can't come back and
tell what shocking death it was.
PATRICK WELSH gently tapped James
Brady of Forbes street, on the head with a
shovel yesterday, and is now in Jail.
A WESTERN paper wants to know il the
coming young woman will be farmer. She
will be willing to join the husbandmen.
THE Allies are kindly advised to purchase
Pitcher Stages new book Baseball for ANA
tuers" and retire to a lodge in some vast wilder
ness.
JOHN LANG, a cadet at the United States
Naval Academy at Annapolis, ,diedIyesterday at
the home of his father on Woodland avenue
Allegheny.
PITTsBURGERs intending to cross the pond
this summer will solve for themselves the true
inwardness Of the sailors hearty CRY, "Yo
heave ohr
THE directors of the Westinghouse Electric
Company met yesterday, and the regular quar-
terly dividend of 111S per cent was declared by
the company.
JOHN CooNs. of Montgomery avenue, AIle-
gheny, reported to Chief Kirschler last night
that someone had entered his room and stolen
his best suit Of clothes.
THIS world is in the hands of young men, and
the young men are in the arms of the young
women. This brings US back to first principles:
Woman rules the world.
W
cloak is that sentence, thrown by the sneak
over damaging statement he dare not father
and cannot substantiate.
WITHOUT wishing to inquire too closely into
the Harrison strain, don't the numerous family
appointments tell mute but eloquent tale of
mediocrity and perhaps neediness?
DoN'T hurry and don't argue. The man who |
hurries may unwittingly be leaving his oppor-
tunity behind, and the man who argues will |
find no opportunity brave enough to face him. |
THE young ladies and gentlemen of st. |
James R. c. congregation of the Thirty-sixth |
ward will produce the operetta "R. E. Porter. |
or the interviewer" in the West End rink to-
morrow evening.
JOHN KEEFER, of Bellevue, was driving
along Western avenue, Allegheny, yesterday
when the horse became frightened
and ran away He was thrown out and badly
cut about the head.
SUPERINTENDENT MAXWELL, Of the Home
for Protestant Boys, at the corner of Anderson
and Robinson Streets denies the charges of
cruelty made against him. He says that the
Humane Society said they would not investi-
gate the matter.
GALBRAITH WILSON, who was charged BY
Chief Kirschler, of Allegheny, with entering
building with intent to commit q felony was
given hearing before Mayor Pearson last
night, and was held in $500 for trial at court
JOHN RANDALL had a hearing before Alder
man Porter yesterday on a charge of desertion
On oath of Agent Dean of the Anti Cruelty
Society. He was discharged, with the under
standing that he pay his wife 81 week for the
support of a child.
THRICE blest is he who makes a smile to
lrive away tear. And blest are we if this is
rue of our modest column here. But, kind
md gentle reader, you certainly must be very
ired. And as for us, well, nothing much, we've
,nly just been fired.
THE Board of Viewers, appointed to fix the
lamages claimed by the property owners along
he line of the new McKeesport and Belle.
Ternon Railroad, held their second meeting
The board, of which Samuel Gu.
ey is chairman, will meet to-day to prepare
heir report.
'GBIG crowd, amt it?'' "Big! Well, / never
aw the beat in my life since the riots Is that
PRESIDENT Harrison them excited mems
raggin' down Fifth avenue in that carriage?'
HarrisonI Naw." "Well, say1t must be a ball
layer, or may be ParnelL" "Parnell nothin'-
hats Pittsburger just back from fishing |
rip" Just from fshin' trip; is that all?''
Is that all Why, Jerusalem, stranger he
cknowledges he didn't catch anything"
ORPHAN ASYLUM ELECTION,