The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-12-26
THE FARMER wHo WENT OUT WEST

THE FARMER WHO WENT OUT WEST
There was a Yankee farmer, who had an only
son,
A splendid, honest fellow, Just coming twenty
| one
He wanted to get rich, and so he said he guessed
He'd go and try to do it somewhere away ou
! West.
He said sour Yankee habits are sure to win th'
race;
You only have to go and squat, and grow up wltl
the place" .... .t.
His parents grieved to have their boy go OF from
them so young,
And Mary Ann. the adopted girl, just cried ant
held her tongue
He went out into York State, goodly land t.
| see,
But there were plenty poor folks, that looked Al
smart as he
And as he journeyed on he saw many good homei
were there,
But everybody hard at work in trouble, toll ant
care.
He went into Ohio, 1t was goodly sight,
But hard work just as popular, folks tired everJ
night
He went into Kentucky, and glad that he had
come,
Though he was hot and parboiled, like washer
woman's thumb,
In Indiana mud and work in Illinois the same
Then Mississippi water sly physic is its game.
He went to Minnesota to grow up with somt
town.
But found where there is one grows up, there'
nv hat
He went into Dakota, where the blizzard is nc
sloven,
And heard polar bear had frozen stiff inside ar
oven;
Cowboys froze solid, schools froze up, until tn,
children died,
And when he got his tears thawed out then hi
sat down and cried
Then, as he traveied onward, he grew both thiI
and lean
Often his hog and hominy were dirty, strong ant
mean
man must eat his share of dirt, but wants to skiI
the rest
In Yankee land each eats peck IA bedtick ful
out West !;
or course little honest dirt hurts not the right
| full owner,
think of Jonah.
Then malaria and mosquitoes, and snakes tina
want to bite,
And wigglers, flies, bed bugs and ieas, you ge
them day and night.
Then what he saw, how settlers live, would maxi
some awful yarns
In camps and dug outs, huts and sheds, mud cab
| ins GOODS and barns
Privation, hunger, cold and wet, in hope deferred
tostay,
Before they get ia decent home, grown homely
Old and gray;
They talk of poor New England, and try to thinl
'tis true,
But send right there for money, for each worl
they have to do
For railroads, mortgages and debts; security no
| the best
Oh the uncounted millions poor New Englan,
sends out West.
Missouri then Nebraska, but Still all was no
well
The woes of bleeding Kansas, no human tongu
can tell
Twas food and drought, and tornadoes, an
grasshoppers to vex us,
Till on a wabbling railroad train. he wiggled int
Texas
Folks walked around and grinned at him, an
looked al him so queer,
Then "what blamed mean thinE did you do tina
you have sneaked in here ~
He thought that old go West young man" ha
done my country harm,
For now know where fortune lies-tis on tina
| Yankee farm.
He travelled till he got so tired he could not slee
awink,
And then, with common sense inspired he did be
gin to think;
"why do folks give up love and home, and all tina
makes life dear
To squat in Heaven -forsaken spots, and live lik
Arabs here
Why do some people like to hide in these outland
ish spots
And jump the broomstick with squaw, and rails
up Hottentos
Hail, dear New England, happy land, sweet cour
try of my birth
Ills foolish thing to wander to the fag ends o
the earth"
He saw thousand cities that loomed up an
came down
Begun for a metropolis, to end a one-horse town
A thousand windswept mud.bound clumps. h
sadly drizzled through,
Fargo and Poorgo, Yankton and Stinkton an
Kalamazoo
Leadyille and Mudville, Deadwood, Nowood, Dog
town and Pokerfat,
And cities of which the mayor carries the archive
in his hat,
And opequan and shockeysville, and Red Dog
and Saint Jo.
And Utsayladdy and Yuba Dam--and you ough
to you go.
He started for New Hampshire says he, "M.
heart is true
The more see of other lands, the more l thinl
ofyou;
There may be human trouble in all your lovel.
scenes
Here goes for home, and Mary Ann, and love, an,
pork and beans !"
His parents met him at the door says he, I'm
here to stay !"
Then Mary Ann looked up and blushed, and faint
ed dead away
His kisses soon revived her, 1t was not any crime
And all were happy, and they had most gellori
Gus time
Got married Yes some time ago guess NOR
than year
May be little short of that, II tmust be very near
And Mary Ann is splendid, as ever a bride ca
| be
There can be nothing nicer, except her ba.bi-e
Hiscradle is an altar you ou ght to see them g
And worship tootsey wootsey, who laughs an
sucks his toe
May Heaven bless the little cub, and keep hin
from all harm,
And send them other buds Of love, to keep tn
dear old farm.
Now stop aud hear the moral To stay at hom
| is best
You can't get clear Of trouble by going of ou
II West,
An honest Yankee farmers life is one that can
| be beat
For health and wealth, for love and home, and a
| things good to eat
| OF all the woes and troubles that other lands b'
fall
New England is a splendid land, her sorrows fe,
and small
Most men die poor. Here you need not but d
the best you can
Do your duty on the farm, for love, and Mar
Ann.
-James B. WiOgin, son Of Neto Hampshire,
Mirror dHd Farmer
Il
HATTIE CARROL's CHRISTMAS"