Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-05-12
GOOD MANNERS,

Should Lady Take the Arms Of Two Gen.
element - Wearing Diamonds - Proper
Occasions for Wearing Prince Albert
Coat,
rwRITTEN FOR THE DIsPATcH.l
The author of "Don't" this week comes
10 the rescue Of many persons who wish to
shine in society, but have some doubts as to
their brilliancy, and tells them the proper
things to do in puEzling cases. Many ques-
tons are asked, and they are answered in a
manner which makes the answers interesting
to all.
VIII you kindly answer the following ques-
tons: !. When accompanied in the even
ing by two gentlemen, neither Of whom you can
regard as de trof is it proper to take the arms
OF both, or should you walk independently!
2 Also, what should you do if, when
promenading in a ballroom, another gentleman
should join you. especially if you are thor
oughly tired Of the gentleman you are with
and wish to encourage the newcomer? Should
you take both their arms in this case? 3.
Is it proper to call on prospective bride after
her cards are out? Iknow her quite we'll and
she viii leave Immediately after the wedding
to reside in distant State, CLYDIA.
!. Either take the arm of one gentleman
only, or take the arm of neither. On no ac-
count take the arms of both. 2 A woman who
takes the arms of two men at the same time ex-
poses herself to ridicule. In the dilemma de-
Bcribed you can walk by the side Of the second
gentleman without taking his arm, or you can
disengage your arm from the first gentleman,
and either stand conversing with both gentle
men or promenade with both, without taking
the arm of either. Very likely the first gentle
man will find an excuse to leave you with the
newcomer If not there is opportunity for the
exercise Of woman's ingenuity. Send him
for glass of water or to look for your fan, or
to find an acquaintance, or something of the
kind. g Only intimate friends can properly
call on bride after her cards are out.
VIII you kindly answer a question in regard
to invitations? Two lady friends and myself
are contemplating giving card party TO-
gether at my house, and we would like very
much to have you give us good form for the
invitations. This was my idea:
Mrs. A. and Mrs. B. at home with Mrs. c.
s.v.P.
These are merely the words, which, of course
would be properly distributed upon a card or
sheet of paper. The other ladies say this would
not be right, as they are not at home. but are
entertaining with me- SUBSCRIBER.
The invitation AT Home should come from
the lady Of the house. but the other ladies'
cards might be sent with the invitation. An
entertainment given at any house must be as
sumesrto be given by the mistress of that house;
n 3 partnership in these matters is scarcely ad-
missable, but lady may associate other ladies
with her.
THE ORACLE ANSWERS.
VIII the Sunday ''Oracle" please answer the
following questions: /. In newspaper notice
OF marriage is it in good taste to have printed
the former title of brides father-he having
been Honorable for a number of years-as
this: Jane, daughter of Hon. John SMITH"
q Is not the engagement ring worn on the
third finger of the left handG believe a late
answer to similar questions assigned the en-
gagement ring to the right hand, which
thought must be a misprint 8 What is the
average size of the fee given a clergyman for
performing the marriage ceremony?
i 1t is often done but it is of question
able taste. Honorable" is a courtesy title
solely, and hence cannot be claimed or en-
ployed by person himself or by his family
2 The engagement ring and the wedding
ring are worn on the same finger, the third of
the left hand 8. Wedding fees vary ac-
cording to place and wealth of the groom; any
where from 50 to SIS is the customary fee
What color gloves, ifany, gentleman should
wear at his wedding, the ceremony to take
place at u o'clock in the day. the bride wear
ing white silk and he grey trousers and Prince
Albert coat?
II the groom wears gloves they should be of
. light color but not white.
WIEN TO WEAR A CLAW HAMMER
Why is it improper to wear dress coat in
the morning? c. B.
The unknown powers that make social laws
have decreed that the dress coat should be
worn only at night, because it is thought more
suitable for evening occasions than for day oc-
casions. But the rule is wholly arbitrary. In
France the dress coat is worn for all ceremoni-
Gus gatherings, morning or evening. At re-
cent formal breakfast in New York, the French
Consul appeared in dress suit, to the surprise
Of many persons who should have known that
this is the custom in France. The English rule
ls that dress suit must be worn only in the
evening and American society has adopted
this authority as binding instead of the French.
/ Please inform me if it is right for gentle
man having become acquainted with lady at
social gatherings, to ask privilege to call her
or to appoint place Of meeting. the desire be-
ing for the gentleman to get better acquainted?
9 Is it absolute necessity for a gentleman to
remove his hat accosting lady? 8. Is it nec-
essary for middle or lower class people to fol-
low strict rules Of etiquette?
/ A gentleman can always ask for the privi-
lege of calling upon lady, but not appoint
place Of meeting. 2 A gentleman should al
ways remove his hat when accosting lady. B.
Rules Of etiquette are made for all classes. OF
course certain social rules are inapplicable to
persons not IN society, but no man is too low in
rank TO take of his hat to lady, to bow to
gentleman, TO give way to an elder, to regard
the rights of others, to feel self-respect and
show respect, TO conduct himself with propriety
and decency.
lady dressing in deep mourning re.
ceiYes wedding invitation, should she send
hnr oar0 f0rpthpr with hpr bnchoDdfQ n hn
mother Of the young lady going to be marrled?
2 Is it necessary to have mourning card?
JESSIE.
l. She sends her card with regrets, 2 It is
customary to have mourning cards, but no one
IL under obligation to do so.
CAN WE WEAR DIAAroNDsP
VIII you kindly answer the following uues-
fions; L Is it proper for a young unmarried
lady living in a small town, to wear diamonds at
aliS 2 Are not Rhine stones. crystals and like
stones cut in imitation of diamonds, out of
good taste9 3. Is it not permissible for clerk
70 wear q small diamond in ring while behind
the counter?
/ No, 1t is not proper for young unmarried
ladies living in small towns or in big towns to
wear diamonds, according to the theory of fas-
tidious circles. 9 They are in bad taste. 3. In
the mind Of the writer it is not in good taste
for any person of the male sex to wear dia-
mond ring behind or before counter, but it
must be admitted tnat great many American
gentlemen adorn themselves in this way, just
as they wear snowy watch chains and con-
spieuous scarfs, but all displays of this kind
are suggestive of the saloon and the ward poll
tician. The only proper thing for gentleman
70 wear on his finger is a seal ring. We do not
see that mans position as clerk changes
his social right to wear ring; in fact men be-
hind the counter commonly out-do in smart
ness all their masculine rivals
Plcass settle a trifing dispute betweensa
friend and myself, and tell us whether it is
very generally the custom for men to shake
hands on being introduced at q reception or
other social gathering.
Men usually shake hands on being intro
duced, often when 1t would be in better taste