St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-12
"BRINGIN," UP CHILDREN.
An Essay on the Subject From
the Pen of Nj. Quad.
Detroit Free Press.

Detroit Free Press.
One day ] halted at the cabin of a
North CarOllnian named Nisblt, and l
saw so many children around that /
asked him if he was keeping school or
running an orphan asylum.
"Why, yere's only half of 'em!" he
replied in considerable surprise. and
going to the door he uttered a long
drawn whoopee. In three or four min
utes children began to break out of the
woods and thlckets and weeds and briar
patches. and when they had gathered
around the door and been added to
those inside, / counted sveenteen-nOt
one leSs-and the oldest was not
twenty years old.
You seem to be fond of children" l
observed to the father and mother, as
they stood beaming down on their prog
eny.
II dote on 'em," replied the mother.
II like 'em, and Pm kinder carryin'
out an idea of my own" added the
father. Fur three ginerashuns our
family has bin sloppy"
"What's that?"
"A-goin' to the dOgs-nuthin' solid
about EN- turnin' away from eddeca-
SlluIl uliltiii luCO WIlSky dllu Iulc-
ness. Deed. sab, but it hain't so very
hung by the neck for murder. Fur
three ginerations back we haven't pro-
duced a NiSbit fitten to dodge a skunk.
Pm speakin' about my pertickler line o.
Nisbits. Thar may be other NisbitS
who had money and brainS."
"Yes, mighty bad lot!' sighed the
wife, as she held up her hands.
THAR was my grandpap," continued
the pioneer, as he accepted plug of to-
baccO in advance on the seven points of
sympathy. THAR was my grandpap.
He'un might hev bin president of these
Yunited Stats jist as we'll as not, but
he was too burned lazy to vote for his
self. He was SO mighty Onery that cats
and dogs Wouldn't stay with him, an so
opposed to work that if he fell into a
swamp he'd stay right thar ontil sum-
body cum around to pull him out. They
wanted him to be guv'nOr and sheriff
and lots of other things, but doggone
his picter to Davy! he just wanted to
SOt and S0t, and chaw and chaw, and
guzzle and guzzle, and he was too onery
to die till he was rising of 90"
Eyes, the pore critterH' sighed Mrs.
Nisbit.
"And thar was my pap" continued
the pioneer. as he lifted up one leg and
got both hands over the knee. Thar
was my pap, who might hcv bin the
biggest lawyer or doctor or preacher in
these Yunited Stats if he hadn't been
so slashin' SchucklesS. All he wanted
to do was to Sot and sOt and Sot, and
drat his buttons if he wouldn't wait fur
sumbody to pull him in out of a rain
storm. Durn him, he knOwed 'nuff, but
he hadn't no hustle to him."
81 he pore, onery soul!' sighed Mrs.
Nisbit.
''And thar's me-" continued the man,
as he changed knees and spit i'll the
woodboX. "Yes, thar's me. Pm ornery.
Pm lazy. Pm on the squat. Pm so
dog-gong shuckless and mean that bars
won't eat me. l haint got the ambishun
to swap nevis OF make mOOnShine
whisky. The only good thing about me
is the feelin' that the name of Nisbit
through the muck till Eve got ashamed
of it. Yes, sab, stranger, when you
stopped at the doah and aXed me if my
name was Nisbit / was ashamed to
own it,
"Yes, he'un feels that way, dog
him?' said the wife.
"And so you've got scheme?" l
queried.
II hev. The name of Nisbit has got
to be silver plated agin and perch alOft
on the banner of-Of-Wall, she's got to
roOst near the top of the tree. The day
has got to cum when the Nisbits kin
war broadcloth and plug hats, and
when niggers will bow down before 'em
to the dust of the airth."
What is the scheme. if / may ask?'
"It's bringin' up them children to
know suthin'. Yere, Absolam, cum
yere."
Absolam was boy of fifteen, and he
'tAbsOlam, who was the first man"'
"Adam."
"Whar' did he 'un hang out9"
"Garden of Eden.''
'Who killed his brother?"
"Cain!'
"Who slew Goliah?''
"David."
"That'll do. Go back to that 'tater
patch an work till i call ye'. Ye see,
stranger, AbsOlam is to be preacher.
Pm bendin' he'un's mind fur it, and
givin' him the ground work. jefferson,
cum forth"
jeff was year younger. He came to
the scratch and was asked.
''Who's the highest man in these
Yunited States?'
1.-The president"
"How ar congress cOmpOsed?"
''Of senate and house."
s'Who's the highest man in Moth Car
olina?"
1.-The gu'vner."
"That'll do. Go an dig roots till
cribbins time. He'un is to be states
man. stranger, an he's Citing it down
purity fine. Cum yere, Thomas"
Thomas was about thirteen, and had
been rOosting on the wood box.
~Thomas, how many parties ar
they%
(which are the hevtieSt?'
"rhe Democrats" (This was year
ago.
GLOW often kin feller vote?"
"Only once"
"What's a candidate?"
"Feller who runs for Office"
"That'll do, and you kin go to the TIA
ter patch and hoe two rows. Pm gwine
to make he'un leadin' polltiShun,
stranger. He's climbin' like young
bar with dog under the tree, and the
day is comin' when hehn will make old
North Carolina thrill. Cum yere, Pc
ter"
Peter was of an uncertain age. with
rags enough for four boys of his size.
He was in the wood-bOX, but he came
out at the call, evidently anxious to
show off.
'Peter, what's good fur worms?'
asked the father.
'Jim weed and 'lasses."
"What takes bile off the stomach?"
"WiId onion tea"
"What cures fits?'
s'Rubbin' with hot water?~
"What cures crampS"'
"Whisky."
'And dog-gOne me if I've got a drop
in the house! That'll do, Peter; you
go N fiud that mewl and bring him