Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-11-04
GOLD vICTUALS."

In the Summing Up of a Lifetime Hash
and Stale Bread Are Not Important.
The representative man breads cold vict-
uals.
He breads picked up dinners He groans
at the thought of yesterdays cabbage and
corned beef, served up for todayS entertain
ment. He sees no reason why the women
folks should not be able to get up freshly
cooked dinners every day; he cannot under
stand how it is that washing day must inev-
itably bring to the dinner table miscellan-
eous collection of odds and ends which he is
expected to eat in silence and gratitude
He feels wronged. He feels that it was
mistake that he was born. He wishes he had
the wealth of Rothschild, so that he could
board at the Fifth Avenue hotel. and never
be obliged to eat picked up dinners.
Perhaps he grumbles. Good men often do
under such circumstances 1t relieves their
feelings, and their wives expect it and are
not disappointed
woman, on the contrary, has q sort of
lurking fondness for cold victuals. She likes
to warm things over, and rehash them, and
dress them up anew, and she takes pride in
doing it.
II she succeeds in making something out Of
nothing she is happy. And when she has
stewed the roast turkey up into a soup, and
baked the fricaSseed chickens into pie and
made the roast beef into a ragout, she feels
like the embodiment OF economy, and she be-
heves that nothing short of a new silk dress
would be sufficient recompense for her skill
full management.
Cold victuals are sure to bring company to
dinner. When there is nothing but yester-
days dinner for today, look out for hungry
visitors. Did you ever notice that the less
you have cooked the more likely you are to
have somebody come for whom you care,
and who is blessed with good appetitei
When such thing happens, bear it with
equanimity. Life is not all eating There Is
something else besides. Don't make apologies
Tor the cold pudding. Don't fret if the bread
is stale. People have eaten cold pudding and
stale bread and survived it. There are many
well authenticated cases on record where
men have eaten picked up, washing day din
ners once a week for years, and lived TO be
reckoned as among the oldest inhabitants
Living to eat is not the highest kind Of en-
joyment. When dyspepsia takes hold Of your
stomach, and the demon indigestion gets a
good grip on you, you will realize the truth
of this assertion. When you feel as if there
was kerosene lamp turned on at full blast
in your epigastric region, and when the num-
berless aches and pains that arise from de-
fective digestion rack your brain and send
needle pricks all over your body, you will not
care whether the dinners are old or new,
fresh or otherwise, and you will wonder that
ever you made such fuss over your wife's
economies of cold victuals warmed over
Take it with philosophy. 1t stands to rea-
son that woman cannot always be cooking.
And 1t Is sinful to waste things And In
every family there must necessarily be cold
Victuals- They must be worked up some
how.
Come bravely to the front and accept the
situation. Eat the cold ham with a relish.
Be thankful for the bread pudding and happy
over the hash. Console yourself with the
thought that you are doing your duty in eat
ing the soup concocted from yesterdays
roast
Smile over the cold victuals, and be glad
10 greet them like old friends In a new guise
You viii be happier than you will be if you
grumble over the unavoidable, and your wife
will tell her less fortunate female friends how
good you are, and all the women in town
will wish they had husband like you. Don't
you seeF-Kate Thorn in New York Weekly.