The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-06-06
WISE AND OTHERWISE.
Pears Soap lie an elegant toilet adjunct.
For a disordered liver try Beecham's


Pears Soap lie an elegant toilet adjunct.
For a disordered liver try Beecham's
Pills.
Get out o. here" said the hen to the
china egg. You don't belong to my
set. "-Hdrper's Bazaar.
They poked porous-plaster into it,
and then it began to play" is the way a
boy described an orguinette.
DR.. Henry Gibbons defines a kiss as
"the anatomical juXatapositiOn of two
orbcularis oris muscles in state of con-
traction"
First Tramp-"Murder Help! Help"
Second Tramp-"What's the matter,
Denny ?" First Tramp-"I dreampt l
was wur-r-r-kin."
what were you thrashing your boy
for last night ?" asked neighbor of Mr..
Caution. "Wild oats, was the old mans
reply.-Rttsburgh Chronicle.
Stern parent Ito a young applicant for
his daughters hand)-"Young man, can
you support a family ?" Young man
(meekly)-''1 only wanted Sarah"
Young Housekeeper-'T want to get
shad, if you please" Fish Dealer
"Yes'm." Y. Hand please take the
bones out of it, for want to stuff it"
Mrs. O'Bull-"This is the seventh
noight you've come home in the morn
ing. The next tonne you go out, Misther
OBJ, you'll stay at home and open the
door for yersilf."
What are you doing, Patrick pm
Wakin' up your husband, ma'am."
"But why ?" "Becase it's tin o'clock,
Nam, when was to give him the
dhrops to make him SHAPE"
That was cool Scottish "aside" of an
old dealer, who, when exhorting his
son to practice honesty in his dealings.
on the ground of its being the ''best pol
ICY" quietly added, Il hae tried bath J"
"Dey sez," said Aunt Dinah, as she
laid down the paper, dat flour trust
hab just been form'd." Use glad to
hear oh il" said Uncle Pete, ian I'll jest
go down TO de corner store an get trust
ed to bag"
do you think my editorials on the
sin ofchewing tobacco have any effect P'
asked reformer of gentleman whom
he had in the corner. Eyes, | know
they do. They always remind me that
l want chew"
How do you like my new ball dress,
John Pr asked the young wife. "Oh,
you look beautiful" replied the young
husband but you are wrong in asking
how you look in it," why ?" BE
cause you are head and shoulders out Of
it."
At the grocery-Mrs. Brown-"Fresh
maple sugar, eh P" Strictly
fresh. There are no flies on that sugar,
Mrs. Brown" Mrs. Brown examining
a cake) INLAY be not but l see there
were flies on it last year. "-Omdhd Her
aid.
did not the sight of the boundless
blue sea. bearing on its bosom white
winged fleets of commerce, fill you with
emotion Pr Yes" replied the traveller
"at first it did but after while it didn't
fill me with anything. 1t sOrter emptied
me-"
We have speedy and positive cure
for Catarrh, Diphtheria, Canker Mouth
and Headache. in SI1ILOH'S CATARRH
REMEDY. A nasal injector free with
each bottle. Use it if you desire health
and sweet breath. Price so cents. Sold
by j. T. Shurtleff.
The soul of frankness. Mr.. Beetlcson
Would you like the date put in our
engagement ring, my dear P" Miss Berry
by all means and then if there's
room, run in some little motto like Amy
port in Storm or "A bird in the hand,
or something pretty like that"
MY daughter was greatly troubled
with Scrofula, and, at one time, it was
feared she would lose her sight. Ayers
Sarsaparilla has completely restored her
health, and her eyes are as well as ever,
with not trace of scrofula in her sys-
tenn. &C, King, Killingly, Conn.
II Your Skin
is rough and pimply, or covered with
blotches and sores, and you want a
clean, smooth skin and fair complexion
use Sulphur Bitters. The best medicine
in such cases | ever sold.-C. +. SCHEF.
FLER d Co, Druggists, Lawrence, Mass
"a strange metamorphosis has taken
place in the tree that Washington cut
with his little hatchet," remarked the
snake editor. "How is that P" asked
the horse editor. 1T was a cherry tree,
you remember ?" Eyes" "Well now
it is regarded as chestnut. n-PittSburg
Chronicle.
Her appetite caught him. Ed-"Why
did you marry Miss Elsie ?" Abe.
cause she's no fraud. l asked her at the
ball what should get her from the sup.
per table" Ed-"Well ?" Al-"And
she said instead of cream and jelly,
Bring me some rare roast beef, little
chicken salad and bottle Of claret'. y
Epoch.
shiIoh's Catarrh Remedy,
Ch;1oh', To,orrI, Don,oJ,, ~ n,or,nl