St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-12-29
THE DEVIL HIMSELF
Gives a Startled Globe Re-
porter a Rather Spicy
e e. - Interview.
Even He Spupns the Hypoc-
40
,frrisy of the City Govern
ri ment,
hG
And Thinks the Newspapers
Do Not Do Their
Duty.
His Satanic Majesty's Ideas
Ion the Liquor and Social
Evil Questions.

A GLOBE reporter went home one
morning during the past week, tired
both in mind and body. But he was
n yet sleepy and to while away an
hour or so, he picked up book. lighted
his pipe and sat down for few min
utes before his fire. The book was an
extremely interesting one and he was
soon lost in its pages. He was not con
seious of the presence of any one else
in the room until a slight cough
caused him to glance toward the
other side of the fire. place.
There sat slim, wiry-looking individ.
uaf of swarthy complexion and with
deep-set, piercing, black eyes, nous
tache with fierce upward curl and a
slim. pointed tuft OF whiskerS on his
chin. He looked like an ideal Mephis
topheles. How this peculiar-lookine
personage came to be there without his
knowing it was an unfathomable mys-
terry to the puzzled scribe. But his viSi-
tor did not keep him waiting long.
Don't know me, do you?" he broke
out with. 'Well. am the devil. Yes,
the devil. Don't be afraid, won't bite.
You look as if you didn't believe mel am
that Identical individual who is said to
go up and down the earth like raving
lion. seeking whom he may deyour.
Don't look devilish enough, eh?'
The news hustler admitted that his
devilship did not look so very terrible.
s'Well, young man. you're right. l
am not half so black as l am painted.
OF course when L get people down be-
low in my own house, l like to prod 'enl
once in while. just to hear 'em squeal; ;
but, bad as am, always recognize yir-
tue when | see it upon earth, which is
not half so rarely as my dear friends,
the parsons. would have you believe.
''Now, don't get impatient, young
man. am coming to the reason for
this visit very soon.
"Although Pm wholly and thoroughly
bad. I'm no hypocrite. L hate hypocrisy
almost worse than anything else in this
world, and want to tell you that the
newspapers, which should be so many
lashes for earthly hypOcrites, are not
| doing their duty. This city of Mime
ap0is is just OverfiOWing with hypo-
critics.
@Just look at those fellows who started
to watch the saloons recently. Oh! 1t
tickles me almost to death when any
body begins to parade his virtue before
the world" and the wiry individual
laughed all over himself. 81 always get
such fellows, sure. They're my meat.
SHUT that's not what started to talk
| TO you about"
well why don't you come to the
point then?" the scribe ventured to re-
mark. - -
snow. see here. young fellow. don't
get gay with me. I'm not w. T.. Steele
| nor any of these ducks that you can rub
1t into. FIJI poke you up bit" and his
satanic majesty unwound about four
! feet of orthodox tail, tipped with the
Traditional dart. But being assured
that he would have no further cause for
complaint, the internal gentlemen put
away his tail and resumed. -
| "ThiS municipal government of yours
causes me much amusement, and some
, times it makes me want to prick some
BODY and again that tail began to play
about his chair legs. Didn't know
was interested in politice? Why. the
politicians are my best friends. There
is only one objection to them; when /
get them down in my crematory have
to use an uncOnsclOnable amount OF
birthstone in order to properly cook
them. They are SO tough. you know.
I'm getting off the line again.
Il repeat that this Minneapolis gov
eminent, for a downright farce, beats
the world. l like to see everything
wholly good or else every pretenSe of
virtue discarded. Your mayor started
in TO make this a wholly righteous city
or at least he said he would. Now he
is irving to play up to me as well as to
the other side OF the fence. He doesn't
throw off the pretended cloak of right
eousness entirely, but uses it to cover
other shortcomings.
''Then these alleged criticisms make
me- weary" And the wiry mans eyes
flashed and his tail cracked like whip
lash. '''fhese preachers come out and
pretend to abuse the city officials. and
call the city government rottenness to
the core. The next day they assert that
while they meant every word thatthey
said, the mayor. and the chief 0f pO-
lice, and the judge of the municipal
court, the only men who have the en-
forcement of the law in their hands,
are all good fellows, perfect gentlemen,
conscientious officials, VINO do the best
they can, aud who are models OF official
righteousness. Bah! how sickening."
Again the black-mustached parsonage
went through various cOnt0rtIonS and
tail-shakings. but finally became quiet.
L dIG pu6 OilC vi wv QuCo-
tons which | want to talk about. 1 am
fayorlng Minneapolis with really good
advice, because there are so many peo-
ole whom | expect to meet hereafter
that will be unable to accommodate
them all. | want to sheer 'em Off.
IL have travelled over a good portion
of the world and have yet to find the
place where liquor. or some good sub
stitute for it is not sold. Why? Be
cause men want it, and what men want
they will have. You cant stop it OH
Sunday nor on any other day. Then
| lust as soon as you close up places of
amusement on Sunday, as L hear you
| talk of dong here, the people will go to
drinking something worse. This is all
| old argument. almost as old as am, but
it is good yet"
.'Just one more, and am done. 1t is
| about this social evil. There's queS-
| ton that cannot be handled without
| gloves, at least by you earthly fellows.
| OF course il won't tarniSh me. Now
! here, again, comes in my experience as
| Traveller. Wherever the social evil is
| recognized, and consequently governed
| by law, there it causes the least suffer
| ing and crime. There is no such thing
as stamping it out. 1t has always exist.
! ed and it always will exist until the mil
lennium is reached, which will not he
for good while yet. You can't
escape it. If it were properly recog-
nized as necessary evil, aud restricted
| asst should be, there would be no more
1 ofsit and 1t would not be half the canker
sore it. is. That's radical doctrine, but
| it's straight"
! The visitor from the neither world
| stopped, looked closely at the reporter,
] then, quick as flash, he was gone.
| There was a rush OF wind outside, a
sound between howl and laugh and
| all was again quiet.
The disturbed pencil pusher rubbed
| his eyes to satisfy himself that he had
not been dreaming, but he had never
| been more thoroughly awake. The sa,
tanic visitors chair was just where he
had left it. He had certainly been
| there. The newspaper man pulled
| himself together and went to bed.
I LOCAL COMMENT.
/ The outcome of the Brackett- Maber
affair is just now monopolizing good
fat slice Of nlIbiic attention There are