Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-11-23
Saturday Smiles.

Set in her ways-A brooding hen.-Detrod
Free Press.
Something attractive in the way of cigarette
holder-A pretty girls mouth.-RocheSter Post
Express.
A flow of natural gas has been discovered near
Chicago. To those that hath shall be given
Baltimore Anerican.
Hi, Johnny Henpeck, who wears the trou-
sers in your house?'
First me fader has 'em, n then I git en-
New York Sun.
money is quiet" saws an exchange. but
there are lots of people who are willing to
speak for it all the same. "-Kedr7sey (Neb.) En-
te1prtse.
Tramp-"Could you give me little to eat,
mad,.m?'
Madam-"Oh, how lucky. The Cooking club
has just gone. and you can eat all"
But the tramp had fled.-Ne1o York Sun.
Tom-"May l kiss your little baby sister,"
Fannie Jagged sixteen, demurely): No, she
isn't old enough. "-WtRseys Weekly.
Commercial Item-Lady Qeaving store)-
You bet l am up to the tricks of these mer-
chants. 1 made him come down - ON the
price,"
Merchant Ito himself)-''Iam up to the tricks
OF these lady customers. / put the price up
S4."-Terds SiJtugs.
Blifkins Pere (reading from his paper)-"I see
they have choir of surpiiced girls IN Brook
Ign church"
Blifkins Mere (slightly deaf)-'Tsn't that
NIGEL l knew they'd find something for the
surplus girls to do."-PnSLurg Bulletin.
Urgent Business.-Laura-"Au ntie, would
be justified in writing to young man who has
never written to me?"
Auntle-"Only on very important business,
| my dear"
Laura-"Well. this is important business. I
want to marry him. TeyTe Hdute Express.
| Water in the Snake river has been SO low this
| season that settlers have bitterly complained
of the dust raised by the salmon going up
| stream. They threaten to ask tor an appro-
priation to sprinkle the river next year If the
nuisance is repeated.-Aha California
Tonsorial Item.-Judge (who is bald-headed)
IF half what the witnesses testify against
you is true, your conscience must be as black
as your hair.
Prisoner-"If a mans conscience is regulated
by his hair, then your honor hasn't got any
conscience at alL"-TeIds Siftings.
"Mr Orville R. Dupp," said the man with the
bill in a loud, harsh, menacing voice, You
said you would certainly pay this if would
call this morning. Il know / did" said the
miserable man, but my wife is out some
where with my pocketbook buying me birth
day present "-Chicago Tribune.
The housewife woke with sudden fright
And, trembling, lay with gaspine breath,
Not knowing what to do.
Was smell Of smoke within the house,
Had she forgot her prayers!
Oh, no, she simply had not brought
The slverware upstairsl
Boston Trunscript
The conflicting stories about base ball stars
may be trife confusing, but one transluce Mt
fact stands out-none die and few resign
Philadelphia Record.
Little girl neutrality-suspicious., when are
the Indians coming on?'
Mother-'Hush, dear; there are no Indians"
Little girl-''Then who scalped all the men
in the front seats?"-Nelo York Sun.
Every day now that it doesn't rain is day of
thanksgiving Reading Herald
Telegraph Lineman-"Excuse me, sir but
could have few minutes of your valuable
timer"
Stranger-"Certainly, SIR
"Well, here is a letter to my wife and family,
q few keepsakes, and another letter to the
undertaken, telling where to find me- and if /
amt back here in five minutes, l would like to
have you post them"
where are you going-crazy?"
"No. I'm going up that pole over there to
fix wire. Time.
People who are still explaining the late cleo
ton should learn q lesson from Dom Pedro.
He hasn't said q word.-Pin s6urg Chronicle
Telegraph.
In an oyster sense it's better to die
On the half shells pearly scoop.
Than live till the sorrows OF age come on
-P.iiadeiphia Press
Somebody is irving to devise an international
dollar. The kind of a dollar humanity needs is
a dollar that can be had by putting q nickel In
the slot.-Rdf tsnsdn's Journal
"Will the coming man fy?" asks scientific
writer. Judging from our protracted spell Of
swim a. soon as he gets here.-NorristoUn Her.
aid