The Portland daily press., 1889-10-21
WIT AND WIS DOM.

Minister ito Johnny on his knee)-Where do we
hnd any mention Of gambling in the Bible?
Johnny-In the story of David.
Minister-Whati When did David ever gam
BILE?
Johnny When he took four kings from the
Phiiistines.-Church Paper.
When Remus jumped over his brothers little
wall how were his sprains cured without Saliva
ton Oil?
A good record. In thlrty-three years DR.. Bulls
Cough Syrup has never failed to cure a cough,
cold or general hoarseness. 1t is nonparei
An old bachelor, through no fault of his, was
looking at little baby. and was expected to ad-
mre 1t of course.
swell, Mr.. Blinkins," said the proud young
mother, expectantly, sis it not loyely?"
"teS-er-that is 10 say-er-um-a about how old
must baby be, Mrs. Th0mpkins. before il begins
to look like hnman being?-N. Y. Truth.
Grand Republic sc cigar, fit for gentleman to
smoke.
Bondley Ian alderman) -This Australian ballot
law Is a great thing; like it. Hereafter candi.
dates money won't count much; it's going to be
question of brains and merit.
Heller Then take 1t, Mr.. Bondley, you amt
agoin TO run again. Lowell Citizen.
When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she was a Child, she cried for Castorias
When she became Miss, she chung to CastoriE
When she had Children. she gave them Cas:orn
80 you are here again." said the police judge
to the prisoner
eyes, SIR"
sWhat for2'
because Miss Donohue's pig got losht."
"Mrs. Donohne accused me ia very direct dire t
manner av benz the cause ay lis losn, an thaps
how came here."-Merchant Traveller.
La Republlca 1oc cigar, made for 81 years.
s'Marian," he asked in the style which a big
brother assumes when patronizing little sister.
marian, do you know that the earth turns
SOf tos does" answered Marian, resenting the
imputation of Ignorance; ''that's the reason
tumbles out OF bed."-Judy.
A woman who Is weak, nervous and
sleepless, and who has cold hands and feet can
not feel and act like well person. Carriers Iron
Pills equalize the circulation, remove nervous
ness and give strength and rest.
she-I love the autumn very much. Don't you?
He-Yes. You know woman was created about
that season Of the year.
Shell never heard so before. Pray, how did
you ascertain the fact?
He-You remember it tells in the Bible how Eve
was cTcdteu just DtlOIc inc hiSb iah'-Oh""S
World.
Grand Republic &c cigar, all long Havana
flled.
A Difference in Degree.
"There was regular cyclone up at our house
this morning, Pop was mad as a halter" said
Charlie.
well" said Johnnie ruefully, 1--WE had a dis
turbance at our house, too. 1t wasn't cyclone,
though-sort of a spanking breeze."-Harpers
Bazaar.
men's svife should always re inc
same, especially to her husband. but II she Is
weak and nervous, and uses Carter's Iron Pits
she cannot be, for they make her 'feel Ike
different person." so they all say, and their hus'
bands say so too!
Indignant Contributor-I sent you three stamps
at different times for the return of my poem, and
never got II.
Honest but distracted journalist Yes-yes-I
kpo-: / remember. got T. e stamps, hut
couldn't think of your middle name 'Frald there
might be another man OF same name In your
town, you know.-Burdette.