davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
A Good Show for Isms.

AT last the isms Of the day are to have
chance at success. It is offered them
in the new States, particularly in the two
Dakotas. strong effort will be made to
engraft upon the new constitutions,
woman suffrage, prohibition, the Aus
tralian system of voting, direct election
of Senators and a single legislative body.
Should all these ideas triumph, which Is
possible, the country will have an excel
lent opportunity to watch the effect and
make note of much advocated, much
jeered and yet persistent movements
represented by each of these rames. Some
of them may prove all that g predicted for
them, 1t will hardly do 10 assert that our
plan of government is not susceptible to
i'm provement. But the chances are that
the strongest friends of these movements,
with the exception of the Australiansystem
of voting, will live to experience a dissap-
pointment at the result when the test
of experience shall be applied to them.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
Twaln's Personal UrolIerles

Mark Twain to home is not more Sc
riOus that his writing would lead one to
expect. He mas always been fond of per-
petrating jokes for which his wife has
only of late years. through practical edu-
cation, been able to prepare herself
When, for instance, Mr.. Clemens, on
the lecture platform, once drew out a
dlia pidated handkerchief, worn TO shreds,
and, after gazing at it in an astonished
fashion, apologized, saying that he had
been 'obllged TO borrow one from Mr.
-" naming some Important parsonage
OF the town, his wife, sitting with a
friend in the audience, turned to her
neighbor in the most distressed way and
said:
people will think do not properly
take care of my husbands clothes"
1t is true that Mr.. Clemens has no
tendency tword dudishness, and that he
sometimes appears in a costume more
betGting a poor author than publisher
millionaire; but every body 10 his taste!
He is careless and absent minded, and
som etimes forgets some of the require
ments of the age for the embellishments
of mankind.
At any rate, he is said to have called
upon Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe with
out neckt1e one day after her return
from the South. When ne came back
from his visit he hurried to his wife to
tell her how their neighbor had with
stood the bourney and of the present
condition of her health. But he was
stopped in the midst of his story by the
Mortified look in mis- wife's face.
"You don't mean to say that you have
been to see Mos. Stowe?" said she. "Why,
you haven't got on any neoktie."
he protested great charm at his care
lessness and rushed up stairs, appa-en-
thy to remedy the defect in his toilet.
When he came back, some time later, he
laughingly tossed his wife letter and a
pecktie.
1t seems that Mr.. Clemens had writ
ten to Mrs. Stowe il his own inimitable
fashion that as he has found tn at he had
committed the objectionable crime of
calling upon her without necktie he
now sent her one, hoping to mitigate
the sentence which che would pass upon
him for his carelessness. The note which
he handed his wife was clever reply
which Mrs. Stowe had sent back with
the necktie.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18

an gets only the same class of sympatbv
accorded to malsria-a grinnipp: "That's
too bad.''
There is remedy for ague; quinine is
bitter, but it breaks up chills. There is
remedy for snoring, and that is bitter, too.
oclentlsts have disc vs-ed that snorers
are invariably great laughers and takers,
VINO exist principally on their mouths
Woe open, thereby ciogging the breath
ing apparatus with dust and roughening
the oelcate cords by contact with crude
aie. 10 these good natured and LOO ua-
ciouS sleep killers, science save: 'sShut
up; keep your mouth closed; better de-
prise the world of your oackle and chat
seI snah turn money into gall and make
marriage q failure.n
If this does not cure snor,na Rob
Surdette's remedy for dsndruff is the onlv
resour ce-chop the head off
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
Pretty Much All Pocket.

The Sioux Reservation in North Dako-
ia, for the purpose of which the Govern
ment is now negotiating with the Indians,
comprises Il, 100000 acres. This area is
about equal to that of Massachusetts, and
New Ham pshire together. 1t is, indeed,
large enough to be worthy the acceptance
OF railroad company, if proffered with
delicacy, on easy conditions, not includ-
ing the construction of a railroad. The
price at which the Government hopes to
acquire it is $14, 600, 600, and as it is not
mortgaged, the whole SUM would go into
the pockets of the present owners, if they
had pockets. AS they have not, the
money will be kindly cared for by the
frontier traders, who are pretty much all
pocket.-San Francisco Examiner.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
KANSAN PHILOSOPHY.

The best wolf is the wolf that has never
seen a sheep.
The fear of a redicule prevents more
failures than ambition.
Eternity-The time between the last
payment and the next.
When women remembers to be kind
men forgets to be cross.
There is time for men to laugh, but
1t is not when he sees his wife crying.
A man never knows that a woman has
any old clothes until he has married
her.
Man, with all his wisdom, never knows
who is his best friend as well as baby.
1t takss a strong woman to say that if
came from the bakers when a guest
praises her cake.
There are two ways of raising boys,
both ways are wrong.
The more l know of humanity the
more / wonder what Christ saw in us to
die for.
l have sometimes thought that Christ
thought We were SO bad that it would be
easier to die for Us than to live for us
The danger of admitting to-day that
raisins are as good as pl umbs in pudding
is that you will say tomorrow that cur
rents are as good as raisins.
The man Who does not believe in
friendship never deserves any. There are
plenty of good friends in the world for
those who deserve them.
In marriage one breaches economy
and the otter practices it, but no man
and woman were ever able to agree as to
who did the preaching and who the prac-
ticing.
We have always been hearing of men
who did the best they could, but We
should like to see one. The best
mau we ever knew mourned good
d cal because of neglected opportunities
The man of the present day who mar
ries girl with a calloused hand, with the
hope that he will find Woodworking
wife, too often wakes up to the fact that
she is a lawn tennis player.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
Two Ways of TELLING tho Story

Fibre and Fabric: Lawyer-Now, Mr..
Costello, will you have the goodness to
answer me directly and categorically few
plain questions?
Witness-Certainly sir.
Nov, Mr.. Costello, is there female at
present living with you who is known in
the neighborhood as Mrs. Costelio?"
"There is"
as she under your protectionf"
''She is"
"Now, on your oath, do you maintain
herr"
81 do"
"Rave you ever been married TO herfn
81 have not"
Here several jurors s'owied glooningly
at Mr.. Costello.
"That is all, Mr.. Costello; you may go
down."
Opposing Counsel-S5op one moment,
Mr.. Costello. is the female in question
your grandmother
eyes she iso
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
WASHBURN'S FAILURE.

The Great Minneapolis Miller Said to be FL
naneiaIly Embarrassed.
NEW YoRK.-A special to the Sun
from Minneapolis says: Articles of
incorporation of the Washburn- Crosby
com pany, with capital of $500, 900, were
filed here Wednesday. This company
controls the Wsshburn "a, )" SD" and ''C''
mills in this city, with a daily capacity
of $500 barrels of -four, and is, next
to G. A. Pillsbury i Co., the
largest milling firm in the world.
This reorganization lets Senator Wash
burn out of the concern, and intensifies
the ruInors that he is in financial straits.
he departed for Europe Thursday and re-
ports are current that he Is practically
bankrupt. His elegant residence in this
city, which is the finest in the northwest,
is closed, and the servants are looking
fOrIs tuatiOns"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
The Closing Of an Important Outlet.

The blockade Of port is not more injurious
70 its commerce than is even the temporary OBJ
struction of the bowels to the health of the sys-
tenn. Constipation necessarily arrests the secre-
ton of bile, impedes and disorders digestion,
and poisons the circulation The safest and
most effective. it is also the most genial lax
alive and anti-biliouS medicine in existence is
Hostetter's Stomach BitterS, and it is more than
probable that its sovereign efficacy as a prevent
i've and remedy for intermittent and remttent
fever is largely due to its reformatory action upon
liver. an organ periodically involved in all ma
larial complaints Persons with tendency also
TO rheumatic, neuralgia and kidney trouble can
ter'S Stomach Bitters which invariably checks it
at the outset. The weak, moreover, are invested
with strength by this fine invigorant
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
A Charita bic Lady.

very charitable lady III town wishing
to help the Johustown sufferers, picked
out from the wardrobes of herself and
husband all the suits that could be spared.
Into the pockets of each suit for men she
put jackknife, a hair brush and comb.
Into the women's gowns she put pair
of stockings, comb and brush, tooth
brush, and a cake of soap. She sent
several gowns that she had been saving
to wear this Summer herself. 81 did not
hesitate many minutes" she said, heroi-
cally. I decided to let the sufferers have
them, aud let my husband get me some
new ones. That was combining charity
and self interest.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18

HADJI HAssEIN GHooLY KHAN, the Few
Persian minister, who, wounded by news
paper jibes, was on the point of resign
ing and going back to Persia, has, it ap-
pears, made up his mind to stay among
Us after all. If he only waits long enough
he will find plenty of reason to make fun
of Americans, from the Persian stand
point; and if he does, he will be surprised
to see now naturally we take it. Sit down
again Ghooly and make yourself at home
We may shed few tears at your depart
ure if you stay your full time out.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
His Name Was Nellie.
BOSTON Traveller

1t is soberly related that youthful
married couple, whose name shall be kept
sacred secret in these columns, whose
house has recently been glorifed by the
addition of a fac smile of the beautiful
little mother, decided to have the christ
ening services at home. venerable
minister was called to oficiste. He took
the babe in his arms very affectionately
and addressed in parental fashion few
words of advice to the young parents.
"See that you train up this child in the
way that he should go: that you surround
him with the best influences, and that you
give him a good example. If you do so
who knows but he may become q Joha
Wesley Or a George Whitefeld? What is
his name?"
'Nellie, SIR" replied the mother.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
A Servants Terrible Loss.

girl with bundle in her hand was
going up Park street yesterday when she
met a girl with a bundle coming down.
They seemed TO intuitively divine each
others occup patton, and the fact that each
was out of job.
"When did you leave?" qUeried the
first.
about an hour ago. When did your"
"Same time. What did you quit for"
"Folks had too much company and l
had to work like a slave. What did you
quit for.
'Foiks Rad no company nor nothing
to do, and / was getting coo fat. Don't
we have hard times, thought"
"DreffuI. Re it isn't one thing it's an
other
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18

CARDINAL MANNING makes the state
ment that not more than one-half the
entire population of the city of London
have ever set foot within house of wor-
ship. And yet London contributes lib
orally each year TO carry the Gospel to
the heathern of Africa and Asia and the
islands of the sea. Sucd is the short
sightedness of the truly good.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
DOWN ON HARRISON.

A Southern Organ of the Negro Race De-
nounees the President.
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. = The Birmingh ham
Courier, owned and edited by colored
nsc, came out in double loaded
editorial recently, denouncing Presi-
dent Harrison's treatment of the negroes
Of the south. It says: "Let the colored
race give Benjamin Harrison a re-
ceipt in full for all claims
they have on him and In
1892 LET the self-respecting negroes of
the south show this man that they have
rights which even a president of the
United States must respect"
The paper goes on to say that Harrison
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
PENNSYLVANIA FLOODS.
Bridges Carried Away and Miles of Track
Washed Out.

WaSHeu UuC.
GREENsBURG, Pa. One of the most
destructive storms that ever oc-
Cured in this section passed over the
northern end of the county "Wednesday,
Rain fell in torrents and the creeks for
miles around the mining village of Grab
Tree overlooked and the crops of wheat,
hay and oats were carried down the
streams. Trees were uprooted
In their course and buildings
situated on their banks. Every bridge
from Crabtree TO Salisbury has been
carried away and two or three railroad
tracks had 800 yards of track
washed out. No lives reported lost.
A hailstorm followed and
was most disastrous to the corn oro
At Salem and Five Points and all along
Loyal Hanna creek the damage is great.
The loss will will run up ir.to thousands
of dollars. 1t is believed the food was
caused by a cloud bust.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
Arrested for Keeping a Fence.

MILWAUKEE, July 11-John Marley, the
proprietor of a picture frame establish
ment, and jaime J Daley, a steam filter,
were arrested this morning on charge
of receiving stolen property. They are
alleged to have divided between them
the $34 which Lester Thomas was ar
rested for stealing on Sunday from the
house at 522 River street.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
.ccide emf in the pabst Mine.

lockwood, Mich, July Ii = Frank
Battisle. miner in the Pabst mine, was
killed, and three others seriously injured
BY a cave in. The wind created by the
sudden fall Of the earth threw the men
violently along the drift in which they
were working, with the result as above
stated.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18

IL women were taught to handle fire.
arms and would follow the example of a
Fond du Lac county woman, there would
be a few less 1nsolent tramps in the
country. A tramp attacked Mrs. Kline,
when she seized a revolver and marched
the ruffian before her to where her hus-
band was at work, and he was soon placed
soiI
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
America Nav Get the Picture.

PARIS, July 12-It is now thought likely
that the CorcOran art gallery or some
other art repository in America VIII yet
secure Millet's "Angelus" in view of the
probability that the French chamber viii
refuse to confirm the governments pur-
chase of that picture.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18

CONGRESS will be called six weeks ear
lier than its regular date for converting,
and the first day of the extra session
will be October Is.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18

MORE power runs to waste annually at
Niagara than could be produced oy
burning 100000 tons of coal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18

The princess imperial of Brazil, has
organized corps of negro troops whose
office it is to act as an imperial guard.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
A REMEDY FOR SNORING.
Simple Enough fYou Can Only Manage to d.

IL.
Only one man or woman chained to that
rest-destroying angel, snorting partner,
can appreciate its sinfulness, says the
Washington Critic. The wicked emotions
aroused in the soul Of the sufferer against
the sleeper cannot be transferred to
paper. Could man or woman preserve
their night thoughts Of the innocent
offending during the entire twenty-four
hours, married life would be bleak, tree
less, unwatered waste. For this sort of
affection, if made public, man or WON
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18

THERE has not been an execution OF q
white man in South Carolina for twenty
five years.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18

had treated colored men with contempt,
and that he seems to think he has dis
charged every obligation by appointing
few of them to small aud unimportsnt
Offices
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-07-18
REPORTS EXAGGERATED.
One Man Killed at Duluth and Many Injur


In the Battle.
DULUTH, Minn.-The reports of the
fight between the strikers and the
police Saturday night, photographed from
here, were sensational. The police,
thirty in number, were protecting non
union men at work on the sewers, when
about 1000 strikers appeared and at
tackled the officers, firing at the guards
and stoning them. The police returned
the fire. Edward johnson, % years old
was killed. Thomas Fitzsimmons, 10
years old, and Matt Mack, aged %, were
probably fatally wounded. O5hers, to
the number of fifteen or twenty, were
less seriously wounded. The militia and
the fire department finally dispersed the
rioters. Several arrests were made.
Horace A. Taylor Appointed Railroad Con-
missioner.
WASHINGTON, d. O.-The president
appointed Horace A. Taylor of
Hudson, Wis. commissioner of railroads.
The commissioner has jurisdiction over
all railroads that have ever received aid
from the government in the way of
money, credits, land, etc. This en-
braces good proportion OF the roads in
the country. The law requires all rail-
roads to make such reports TO the com
missioner as he may call for, and it is
the mmissioner's duty to look
after the equipment and con-
struction of the roads, their tariffs
of freight and passage, and furnish
other departments of the government
information called for in regard to them.
The commissioner has under him expert
engineers and corps OF bookkeepers,
clerks, etc. His salary is $4,000 year,
with an allowance of $4,000 for travelling
and Incidental expenses. and free trans
portation for himself and others travel
ing In his employ.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1889-12-20
THE VISITOR BY MIGHT. /"

Dea huT.
One by one the shepherds went to
sleep, each lying where he had sat.
The night, like most nights of the
winter season in the hill country, was
clear, crisp, and sparkling with stars.
There was no wind. The atmosphere
seemed never 30 pure. and the stiffness
was more than silence: it was holy
hush, warning that heaven was
STOPPING low to whisper some good
thing to the listening earth.
By the gate, hugging his mantle
close, the watchman walked; at times
he stopped, attracted by stir among
the sleeping shepherds, or by a jackal's
cry off on the mountain side. The
midnight was slow coming to him; but
at last it came. His task was done:
now for the dreamless sleepwith which
labor blesses its wearied children. He
moved towards the fire, but paused; a
light was breaking round him, soft aud
white, like the moons. He waited
breathlessly. The light deepened;
things before invisible came to view;
he saw the whole field, and all it shell
tered. A chill sharper than that of
the frosty ala chill of fear-smote
him. He looked up; the stars were
gone; the light was dropping as from
4 window in the sky; as he look ed, i.
became splendor; then In terror, he
;ried,
Awake, awaken
Up sprang the dogs, and bowling
'aa away. The herds rushed together
,e wildered.
The men clambered to their feet,
Weapons in hand. "What is it?" they
Lsked ia one voice.
"See!" cried the Waterman, "the
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1889-12-20
Light 8 year old, good trees, Sc each

Light year old. good trees, SC each
or 81 per hundred.
Two and year old, first class, SC
each or S. per hundred.
When so trees are taken they will
go at 100 rates.
Now is the time to get good apple
trees at terribly reduced price. Do
not miss this chance, but come at once
and get your stock from home nur-
sery before the trees are culled. My
trees comprise all the leading varieties
1 have also in connection budded
peach, pear, plum, cherry and grape
vines. raspberry plants, shade aud Or
namental trees that are offered at low
prices. would say to one and all. If
you intend to plant orchards, now is
your time to do it. Our trees have
been grown with special care, and I
guarantee all trees true to name. Re-
member that 1 have had 80 years. ex-
perience in the Nursery business. Send
for list of varieties. This nursery is
located miles east of Humboldt, on
the Fl. Scott road. Address all orders
to N, w. CRAWFORD. Humboldt, AL
len county, Kansas.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1889-12-20
The Hew Discovery.

You have heard your friends and
neigbors taking about it. You may
yourself bs one of the many who know
from personal experience lust how
good thing |. is. II you have ever
tried 1t, you are one of its stnun cb
fiiends, because the wonderful thiogs
about 1t is, that when once given q
trial; DR.. Kings New Discovery eve,
after holds place in the house. IF
You have never used it and should be
afflicted with u cough, cold or any
throat, lung or chest trouble, secu-. e a
bottle at once and give it fair trial.
1t is guaranteed every time or ulouey
refunded. Trial bottles 10 ceilts ut
Evans' Drugstore.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1889-12-20
REDUCED RATES FOB THE HOLIDAYS.

The Santa Fee Route will sell tickets
during the holidays at one fare for the
round trip to all points on IT'S lines
within 200 miles of selling station.
Tickets will be Oh sale December 2sth,
18th and 31st 1889, and January 1st
1889. They will be limited to January
3rd 1890 and will be good for passage
in either direction up to and including
that date. For tickets and inf0rma-
lien regarding train service, conuec-
tions etc, call on J. s. Turner, agent,
or address
GEO. T. NICHOLSON,
General p. and L. Agent,
Topeka, Ks.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1889-12-20
Peneuroaia and Bronchitis Cary ofs- Third
of ths Human Race.

1t Is not generally known that pneu
monia and bronchitis carry off one
third of the human -aee, but such are
the facts, and what is more surprising
both of the above diseases result from
neglectiug common ordinary cold. A
cough should never be neglected. II
it is. every time YOU catch cold you
cough harder, and it sticks by you
longer. Billiards. Horehound syrup lie
is the best remedy in the world for
pneumonia, bronchitis and all throat
and lung troubles. If you have any
throat trouble call for Billiards. Hore.
hound Syrup and take no other. Scott
& Son, agents.