The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-09-13
HUMOR.
HuERs Of Wood-House painters.

hUEhS VI WOou-louSo paIuCorS.
A DARK Secret-a kiss in the tunnel.
IT is not the face of a check which we
admire so much as its figures.
The scissors-grinder is the only man
who invariably finds things dull.
WHEN the Father of his Country got
married was Martha warranted to
Wash?
PAT1ENT-Doctor, how do you pro-
nounce apoplexy? Doctor-Well, usu-
ally fatal.
"FALsE won't" cried the young man
who bet that his girls teeth were her
own and lost.
JoHN-You look down in the mouth,
old fellow; what's the matter? Jack
Down in the pocket.
WHEN pa gets to burning natural gas
in the parlor, she will have to be very
icautious with her fame.
THE near-sighted hen that swallowed
a bee was not long in concluding that
hers was a peck Of trouble.
How is it you have so few deaths on
your hands, doctor?" "That's easy
enough. When I find I have q bad
case I order the patient to take a trip
abroad.
A sEw1NG-MAcHINE agent falling i'll
was told by his physician that he must
prepare to pay the debt of nature. "On
the installment plan?" whispered the
agent feebly.
HUBBY-What kind of stuff do you
call this? Wife-Why, my dear, that
is angel cake. Hubby-Umph! I sup
pose it must be. I know it was never
meant for q mortal.
PosEYBoY (sneeringly)-So you have
gone and got engaged to that old Dollar
grab? I suppose he is worth a million
Miss de Smith (contemptuously)-Yes.
Of such as you are.
THERE are 200, 900 models in the
United States Patent Office, illustrating
almost every conceivable phase Of hu
man ingenuity, but the model husband
yet remains to be invented.
"BUFFALo! Buffalo," shouted tn
brakeman looking in the car door as tn
train reached that city. "Hy, by Jove,
exclaimed the excited tourist, "NIy gu,
is in the luggage-room, you know"
AT the Club-Old Muggins (who ha
married a young beauty, and has no
yet tired of Boosting about it)-Did 20,
ever see my wife, Buggins? Young
Buggins-Lord, yes!. In engaged t.
her-when you die.
! REV. PRIMRosE-You're a good boy
my little fellow. I saw you take the fl
out of the basin of water. Such littl
acts of humanity never escape my al
Y t~ention. Little Johnnie-I did it S
that I could pull his legs out.
ISQu1RING Youth-What are thos
waterproof gloves for, Mr.. O'Patrick
Mr.. OPatrick-Why, me jewel, SUR
and they're for the convenience of thi
folks as wants to wash their hands with
out wetting their skin at all, at all!
: SUNDAY-School Teacher-Are Their,
any questions that the class would lik
to ask? Little Tommy Tuttle-Wha
kind of lights did they have in the ar
| at night? Little Johnny Sawhorse-
l know, teacher. They was arc-lights.
> ALIVE YANKEE" being awakened h
the captain of a Mississippi River steam
boat with the announcement that
mustn't occupy his berth with his boo
on" replied: "Oh! the bugs wor
D hurt 'em much, I guess; they are an Of
;, PAIR"
The Rev. Primrose-My dear sir, yc
| should give up publishing your pap
on Sunday. A man shouldn't allo
himself to be hired by the devil in thu
, way. Editor-Tut, tut, sir; you don
know what you are talking about. II
the man who hires the devil.
l A GENTLEMAN who had lost his nos
was invited out to tea. MY dear" sal
the kind-hearted lady of the house
2 her little daughter, Il want you to h
$ very careful to make no remark abor
( Mr.. Jenkins nose" Gathered aroun
l. the table, everything was going vel
The child peeped about, looked rattle
puzzled for a long time, and at las
, startled the table with: Ma, why di
, you tell me to say nothing about NJ:
Jenkins nose? He hasn't got any"