Morning journal and courier., 1889-03-12
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An ungrammatlcal State-R. Pluck, We never know what money can do until we realize that one cent will take us from Brooklyn to New York.-Puck. Critical Gin modern restaurant) -"How do you like this placea" "The proportions are grand, but the portions small. ."-Flieg- ends Blatter.
 "Young man, :" says wise man, advising | the youth of his country, "begin at the be- ginning" Not if you want to go up 8 river, you don't.-Burdette.
 It is said Baltimore men have instituted the customs of giving afternoon teas. This must make the ladies exolaim "Tea he.n- Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 Easily Remedied-Chicago husband (at dinner)-"Isn't the room very warm, my | dears" Chicago wife-''I don't wonder, my | dear, you find the room warm sitting there | with your coat on."-Life. you, my deara' ''I am the shoemaker's little girl, but if the stork had only flown just one house further, should have been a little
 countess. ."-Fliegende Blatter. Sunrise finds him awake-Fast Student "There is nothing more lovely in nature
 than sunrise" Young Lady-"Go away You never see the sun rise. At that hou, | rise. Why, my dear miss, when do you suppose go homer'-From the German in Texas Siftings.
 It Certainly Ought to.-Country custome, Mister, do you keep them non-romantic
 watchesa" Storekeeper- -"Non-magnetic, ! suppose you mean" Country Customer
 "Yes, that's them; our gal Liz is gitten | romantic kind would kinder quiet her."- Jewellers Weekly.
 Mrs. Pemmican-"Now, since I've given you something to eat, can you take this ! shovel and clean the snow off my sidewalk , Childe Vittles (a tramp)-"Beg parding ma'am; but see that shovel was made by 6 l non-union firm; and my sentiments regard | ing the dignity of labor won't permit me tc | handle it"-Puck
 | is the meaning of that outlandish jabberine
 in the back Iooms" Kansan-stProminenl citizens studying volapuk." "My gracious 1 Of what use is Volapuk herea No one wishes
 to correspond with foreigners" "That's SO
 but femme tell you, podner, it gives us an
 hibitionists in.''-Texas Siftings. ! A good deal of criticism is being indulged
 in relative to the low-backed dresses of the ladies in evening costume. The ladies, how. ever, exhibit their backs in self-defense They wish to show that they are morta creatures and that they are without wings
 They know that although men are fond oi | |
 curing husband is to prove that they ars no such thing.-Boston Transcript.
 Jaggs-You remember Gaggs, don't you Baggs-Very we'll.
 Jaggs-Poor fellowl Deadl l Baggs-Why, I didn't know there was anything the matter with him except hii deafness.
 Jaggs-That's just it. His deafness killed him. l Baggs-Howa
 Jaggs-Went West, you know, and didn't
 hear the man with the gun when he ordered
 hands Philadelphia Call. | An Aroostook town has been honored with the possession of few charactert 1 quite as funny in their misuse of English as l any of them. One of them said mol long ago that his daughter sdid not gel
 along very well with her grammar, she al ! ways got exaggerated whenever she tried te study it.n At another time he was telling
 his adventures while in the army, and ssid ! that on one of his trips in the South hs came upon an old camp where some of the poor fellows ahead of him had bivocated Another, blacksmith, said "he didnh feel supposed to get in @ lot of iron and theI trust out his work. That wasn't satisfactua to him if it was to other folks. s."-Lewiator
 (Me.) Journal.