The Delta independent., 1889-05-21
THE DELTA INDEPENDENT.
H. WILSON, Proprietor.
Dat Weir.

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Dat Weir.
No inexperienced man can ever know the
tribulations of ranchman who has 10 deal
with irrigating bitches, head bitches, regu-
lating bitches, waste bitches, assistant mana
gers, top boxes, weirs, fumes, ditch riders,
drops, dykes, and spill boxes. Out of the
above assortment two or three can be dis.
I'ensea with on small ranches, but the re.
apaipder are indispensable. They do not all
cause trouble at the sauoe time. but each
ranchman has special one that is eyer pro.
life in causing labor, profanity and sorrow.
My trouble in irrigeting has been confined
directly and Indirectly exclusively to the
,"weir, Fan obcure but modest looking ar.
rangement ofthree.foot boards in or across
head ditch. No adequate idea of weir can
be given in common language, and as a
technical description would occupy too
much space, i will pass on to my sorrows.
$Asfhe head managers of the ditch had al.
ways treated me not only fairly, but literally
j can attribute it to Eothing but wrong ad-
ju.tment of the level tbct caused the car.
penters to put in the dash board of the weir
II inches higher than my head gate. I tried
to get water over 1t but could not, Il could
have got water around it but never thought
-ofiD pondered over volumes Of works on
mechanical engineering to devise some way
to impraye or modify it, hut it was perfect.
dsgoted eleven months to hard study and
waited several gallons of midnight oil, trying
To figure out some slight clue to any useful
purpose that weir could possibly serve, but
was haffiei. ! at last determined to dissect
it to further study its structure, and in using
light fve.pound az ] sccidentIy split the
very first board touched, and as about %
inches of water Immediately gushed through
the opening, got discouraged and quit.
In a few days the ditch-rider came along,
and when he saw the water flowing majestic
ally through my sage brush groye; rippling
in sparkling streamlets across my prickly.
pear lawn, and gradually wasting itself in
the aikali seepage, he was something more
than wroth. The way lie talked about the
destruction and desolation that had been
wrought upon ditch property, / supposed
that train.load of Chicago anarchists had
been to work upon the line. But when be
told me that had simply demolished weii
and would have to go to headquarters and
pay for it, felt better, especially after had
made two trips to Headquarters and was told
each time that they had no bill of damages
against me, the man in charge added rather
snappixhly the last time that "those fellows
out there are not running the ditch"
This did not satisfy the ditoh-rider, for in
one of his discourses about "Dat Weir" he
told me that some Of my relatives had inju-
diciously interfered with the business of GER
tain persons who were SO fortunate as to be
favored with his esteem. Under these de-
pressing circumstances he, of course, claimed
the right to discriminate against me as
much ~ he pleased. After awhile the az
sistant manager oan,c around and ''dat weir"
.swas the theme ofhis conversation. None Of
my relatives had ever interfered with his
friends, but my moral character is so bad
that he took pains to warn some Of my neigh
bors' with whom was trying TO cultivate
friendship. that my honesty is, in his estima-
tion, q serious matter of doubt.
After the visit Of the assistant manager the
ditch-rider became 30 persistent that he
managed to spare two or three hours day
from his arduous labers three days out of
each week, to come aud entertain me with
lectures about "dat weir" As he seemed to
treasure the thoughts of "dst weir" in his
memory with religious devotion, at last,
in sheer dssparstisn, told him if he would
hush about 1t would plant a weeping will
low, and place marble slab over the re-
mains and engrave the following touching
epitaph, in large plea letters upon the slab I,
Beneath this marble neatly cast,
And willow spreading wide.
II laid weir. that sadly passed
Beyond the dark divide.
The suggestion seemed to please him, but
~ he was not authorized to compromise the
matter. he said he would see 'de ma. dat
runs dis ditch" put the proposition in
writing aad he galloped of up the ditch with
1t to find his superior. You may immagine
my Joy when the ditch rider aroused me out
Of my slumbeu next morning, at half past
eight O'Clock, to inform me that my propo-
sition was accepted. Az he was laden with
smiles. or, At least two bottles of them, and q
box of for Ave cents cigars. we smiled and
smoked until breakfast was ready, when,
like Burns' last parting with his Highland
Mary:
with many row and looked embrace,
Our parting WIS full tender,
And pledging, oft to meet again,
We tore ourselves sssunder."
But alas, If after perusing this, any reader
Of the INDEPENDENT should remember ses-
ing rather undsrsized man, about 81 years
Of age, pass along the road, carrying small
bundle Of blankets, an old army muskst,
with tooth-pick shoe on one foot and a gum
boot on the other, and closely followed by a
small yellow dog, they will do me favor by
keeping 1t to themselves. do not want it
even suspected which route took towards
Marshal pass when that dtch-rider or "de
nian dat runs dis ditch" comes along and
finds . rough sandstone boulder with the
following Seribbled upon IL:
In style and brass. when with your class.
You rank well as monkey,
But as an ass you far surpass
The rise of any donkey