The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-02-16
BRIGHT BITS.

KATE FfE4 D says tie hustle is an invention of
the devil. IL his satanic Majesty gets a royalty
on each hustle sol h. must D. dish rich by
this time -NoTriSt0tCu Herald.
IN THE FREScfT 9rARrEa--Mr. Blocker Hous-
lie in it?
Ennie--Oui, Monsieur Ze sugar-r-r!-Pucf.
THE FIRST SrEP-Snaggs-I see a Chicago
minister preached last Sunday on What can
do to be saved?"
Jaggs-Seems to me one Of the first moves
would be to get out Of Chcago.-Drake's
Magazine
THE querist was a sprightly youth ''Why
would La"ber rather shave three lrishmen than
one Ge' man?' asked he You give it up? Of
course you do. Well, because he'd get 10 cents
from the three Irishmen and only 10 cents from
the German. ~ Chicago Journal
CHARITABLE OLD LADY to little beggar girD-
There's some bread Tor you. It's day or two
old, but you can tell your mother to take three
or four fresh eggs, quart Of milk, a cup of
sugar, some good butter and half grated nut
meg, and she can make very excellent pudding
of it.-Puck.
MEN are strange creatures They will waste
an hour hunting for collar button, instead of
having an extra supply and letting their wives
find the missing one. You never see a woman
look for pin sne drops Her husband finds it
when he walks around in his bare feet-Neg
York Financial Times
KEENE-Terrible accident that was to Jones
yesterday.
Sharpe-YeS; and a mighty narrow escape it
was for me, too.
Keene-HOw is that?
Sharpe-Why was mistaken for Jones on
the street only the day before. Exchange.
HOFFMAN HowEs-Good gwacious. Gibby.
what's the matter? never saw you look so
dweadtully flushed.
Howell Gibbon-Awful modification Hofy,
| was standing in the car aud man got u
aging: "Pway take this seat, MISS I'll nevah
90 1If xNyIfh hon NV inoyin arrla-
life ' "' '--s glass "s"'n'-
THE Sacramento correspondents seem to
think it very funny that Mr.. Boruck should
write Gov. Waterman's messages. That is
what Mr. Boruck is there for, and the great
secretary is no souch at rounding a period
either. AS his exceilency once remarked II
can herd up the little nouns and articles but
bless your heart, it takes Boruck to drive the
big, long adjectives into the corral!"-San
francisco AeiCS Letter.
FIELD MARSHAL, p" asked the blockaded HAY
tian commander Hippolyte, how are you off
for grub?'
Just finished the last corporal, sir: but the
enemy began on their seargents sir, last week -
happy smile illumined the face of the heroic
defender as he heard this glorious augury of
freedom to come. A smile only temporarily
marred by a equation military button in the
soup.-NeiC York Herald
THE FAMILY WAS Too LARGE is an in
surmountabe barrier to our marriage Mr.
Artery, she coldly replied to his proffer of an
alleged heretofore untouched heart.
What is 1t? My love shall sweep every bar
rier away, he declared on the impulse of the
moment and both knees.
at is simply this | happen to know of OF
least six girls who have promised to be- sisters
to YOU, and cannot consent to be criticised by
such large family of sisters in-law.'
The suit was adjourned sine die-Etmira Ga
zette
OUTRAGEOUS CoNDUcT.-Minister (deiectedy
to wife)-I am sorry, my dear, but l have some
bad news for you.
Wife alarmed Heavens, William what is It,
Minister-The Terwilliger marriage and also
the Van CORTLAND wedding have both been
postponed indefinitely.
Wife-Oh, well, William, wouldn't be down
hearted at that this world is full of disGp2oint-
ments.
Minister-Yes, dear but I'm afraid it will in
terfere with your new suit that you have been
talking about.
Wife mildly furious)-Well, | declare the
way some people behave is outrageous -
smith, Gray E co.'s Montiiy