Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1889-01-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

private atfair-A musket.
The King of Greace-Pete Roleum.
GA writing pen"-An editorial sane
tum.
A mail-bag-The capture OF hus-
band.
A high-handed proceeding-Settinga
town clock.
1t doesn't hurt a missionary to be shot
in his tracts.
Real estate transfers-Boys throwing
mud at each other.
The ups and downs of life arc better
than being down all the time.
Raining cats and dogs is surely no
worse than hailing strangers.-Lye.
What's the matter with a bowling
mobl It's all riot Washington Critic.
Face powder does not always help a
young woman to go off quickly in the
matrimonial market.
"Your laundress appears to be very
old" ''Yes; she belongs to the iron
age. "-BostOn Gazette.
A pretty girl don't object to reflections
on herself when they come from a look
ing glass. Breeze.
Dogs are said to speak with their tails.
Would it be proper, therefore, to call a
short-tailed dog a stump orator.
Adam had one thing In his favor. Eve
couldn't ask him whether he had loved
any other woman before he met her.
Whene'er mine infant lifts his voice
In accents far from mellow,
His face and lungs suggest SYM
Phony in red and yell-oh!
Boston Courier.
of l:kklo ,oor~boJ ~,
a curbstone may not be India rubber
boys. yet they are gutter perchers.-
Settings.
When your last months bill at your
butchers is still unpaid it won't do to
order roast; it's more diplomatic to
ask for one.
"And do you say I am not good
matchmaker? No one ever left his watch
here to be repaired that he didn't come
second time"
Little Girl-'Iast Cwistmas / hung
up my stockings. What did you hang
up" Absent-minded Nisitor-"My
watch. "-SJtings.
George taking in the dime museum
"What's that, pope" Pop--"That's a
mummy" Georgie-"Too stiff to speak
to anybody, amt hep
"What game do you scholars play the
most?" inquired one of the school trus-
tees. "Hookeym cried the boys in
unison. Harper''s Baaar.
A Berlin scientist asserts that salt is
conducive to longevity, but he seems to
lose sight of the fact that it destroys
freshness -NeU York Sun.
Magistrate Ito Chinaman) -f'What is
: your complaint against this young man"
Cinnamon unable to collect laundry
bilD-"He too muchee by-and-by."
Whene'er hear the banjo's wild
Lugubrious ting a-lingy
think tits like spring chick: most tough,
And very, very strlngy.
Boston Courier.
Whipped Waiter (meaningly)--
"Haven't you forgotten something, sir2'
Guest (meditatively) -"Um-er-let me
see. o, yes 1 forgot the toothpicks-
Thank you "-Ptilcdetphia ReeOrL
"Well, Mildred" remarked Amy the
morning after the election, 'the jig's
up" Yes" replied the High School
Girl, "that variety of dance is altitudin-
ously elevated. "-Burlington Free Press.
AFTER AN INTERVIEW WITH BOOK AGENT.
"Ithink, asserted the Boston maid,
For him the proper term Is,
"a horrid skin but prefer
To dub him an epidermis."
-Ne,o York Sun.
An American, who has Just returned
from Spain, says that the infant King
of that country has a passion for bologna
sausage. It is not often that a love for
the mysterious is developed in child of
such tender years.-N0rri,tOssn Herald.
mo, young man." said the jeweler,
'Tm sorry, but l can't give you an ad-
vertisemeGt. You see, I'm troubled with
heart disease, and my physician has or
dered ME 10 stop advertising, so that
fnay enjoy absolute rest and quiet. y
-gceZers' Week{y