The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-12-10

The billy goats u pretty bird,
lie loves IN dine on shirts;
hut fora midday luncheon he
Prefers " cat hoop skirts,
Old oyster cans aud rubber shoes
Appease his appetite;
Bui DBFIDl hDDIIs md corset Stays


Old oyster cans aud rubber shoes
| AppeaSe his appetite;
But barrel hDOCs and corset Stays
FIJI hun with great delight,
-tVHENO0H POst
An electric wire lsan ugly thing whel
anything crosses it, Boston Herald.
The "West End Big Bugs" is the it'll
ola ladies' social club in Allentown, Pa
For recent baby show in Melbourne
Australia, there were no less than 70I
entries.
The kangaroo can't be very indus
trious animal, az he Is generally on bill
last Binghdmpton Leader.
A plague Of rats Is reported in the Vi
entity OF GalesbuIg, III. Some farms arr
reported to be honey.combed with theil
holes,
A hog that weighed 900 pounds wa
recently butchered near Laurel, Del
1t WIS heavier than one OF the farmers
horses.
The turkey that had the stullut
knocked out OF HIN on Thanksgiving
day has nothing to fear from Christmas
|-PicaytHe.
According to d weather record in pos
sGssion OF Martin Meloney, Of Avondale
Pa, this is the wettest year we have had
in two centuries.
Henry Jordan has recovered Sll, 900
from New YORK street car company, gu
whose road he lost three toes by the
premature starting oil a car.
Miss Tender-'Elow do you like your
steak, rare2" Tony the tramp-'No
mum; don't like II that way, but that's
US often az git it."-7ime.
The word "lorl" is derived from the
Saxon word "loafward," meaning guar
dun OF the loaf, and so perhaps il IL moi
strange that some lords are loafers.
A Long Branch (N.J.) man, after eat.
ing bait IL rabbit on u wager, ute forty
raw clans, a dozen fried oysters and d
pumpkin pie. HesuHered no Ill effects
The first printed ballot was used III
Massachusetts, in 1880 by David Hen
shaw, and was refused. IL took deCis.
ion OF the Supreme court TO establish its
validity.
A Beaver Falls, Pa, paper tells a pre-
posterous story about an old man who
has been dried up by the natural gas
fires in his house, until his weight IL
hardly that OF 7.year-old child.
In dry goods store-"You want a
position as a door walker, do you? What
experience have you had?" Applicant
81 AM the father Of nine children"
He was engaged.-AiinneGpO Times.
Little Roger-"Why is this little town
called a hamlet, uncle Johu2" Uncle
John-"After Shakespeare's character
Ui that name, Roger. He was u lnelan'
Choly man; this Is \ melancholy place"
Puck.
One OF Georgia'a poets has been sent
TO- jail in Atlanta, but It wns for prose
writing-on which he obtained goods he
couldn't pay for-hls fate will not dam.
age this seasons verse crop.-PhiladsI.
phia Ledger,
A company OF Hollanders which has
been growing celery in Michigan, tlnds
the industry simplifying 30 that they
now propose 10 buy up large sections Of
the New Jersey awamps and TO turn
them into celery fields.
The longest bridge in the world is said
TO be at Language, China, over an arm
OF tho China sen. It's ~ much as five
miles long, built entirely Of stone aud
has 500 arches, eaGh seventy feet wide.
The road way is also seventy feet wide.
DOlly-"I don't $50 how there can be
any humor In your profession" Doctor
-"Why, my dear, 4 misVr died on my
hands last week, and l had to give thu
CauaU Ot death on the certificate as EN-
largement Of the heart'-TO1n Topics
News has been received from the Gov
eminent expedition for the survey o.
Alaska, dated August q, and says there
are luxuTiant forests, the grass was green
flowers III bloom aud the weather very
warm, but ten inches under the surface
tbs ground Is frozen hard-even as deer
as twenty-five feet.
Plusher-"This account says that thu
seals are threatened with determination
That would ruin my business" Mad
dOx-"Why, you only make imitation
sealskin sacques." Plusher-"Yes, bu
II everybody knew thore were no genu
Inc ones tlpru'd bU no demand for imi
tations. "-utnScyI Weekly,
A countryman went TO store In Nor
gantown, ". Va, the other day, an,
purchased kerosene lamp. "Ehat
the first one o them notions that eve
come to my hUuse," he remarked. "Can
dies WIS Allus good enough for marll
and the, but darter's got a beau an,
thinks wc ort 10 put on a leetle style.
A little American boy, who has q Ter
man gOvorness, committed to memory
AZ her request, II German evening prayer
When lie went 10 bed at night, he iOldpt
his hands and repeated the prayer, ad
ding after the "amen, In q reVefOnLia
tone, tho explanatory words, "Das ID
DoulsCh, lieber Go(t"--ChrtStidR Rel
iSlsT.
"The soil in Kentucky" said tho Cole
mel wiping his whiBkerS, "is 80 rich tina
vegetables are grown 10 order while 20
walt" "ThaL's nothing" put In the lla
from Camden. "0A my farm over |
Jersey We cant allow the horses 10 stan
q moment In the fields, for fear tbui
hooiS take root and the animals grow u
TO 10 elephants. mada a thr0e.legge
milking stool out Of freshly cut sapIlnv
: aud stood Ill the barn yard, This nCI
I morning found In Ito place black wa
nut extension dining table. II hadn
saved the legs of close 10 tho grount
l might have had d whole pArlof Ruit
a day or two.-Phitaitlphid Inquirer
Attention, uou'ShsOpSrs.