Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1889-11-07
HUMOROUS.

poor singers. But the sum is ap-.
pallingly inadequate. Fifteen mill
ions wouldn't house half of then.-
Puck.
Eastern Young Lady Ito Western
young man)-'.Is not cultivation ex-
tending very rapidly in the West, Mr..
BreezyP" Mr.. Breezy-"Oh, YES,
ma'am; I have 200 acres under cult
Walton, agin about half that lastyear."
Our happiness depends on little
things, says a philosopher. This is.
true. A man who comes into possess
sion OF a plugged quarter can never.
know true happiness till he succeeds,
In passing tt off on some one--Boston
Courier.
IA tribe In the palm region Of
the Amazon cradles the young in
palm leaves" In this country a palm
also enters largely into the work of
bringing up the young, but it is used
more in thrashinS than In cradling.-
Norristown Herald
The man who always insists upon
telling the exact truth, finds himself
a sort of nine-spot, when he gets
mixed up with a. party of duck hunt
ers, and the quicker he gets over the
idea the sooner will he enjoy himself
to the full extent of the law
"A woman has been elected a.
member of the London Aldermen.
Alderman was. originally but another
name for elderly" man. Many
women may hesitate to admit that
they are qualified for positions upon
such boards. Traveller. L.
-" Say, CholTey," asked one news
boy Of another, whats a payin' tel
lerP" "He's de man what, pays out
de money" IAN what's de receivin'
tellerP" Hes de man what takes
in de money" can what's de CASH
ierP' "He' de Teller what gifts away
Wild de money."-Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs Parson Jones' There your
shirt. It's mended. You've shown a
pretty temper about a broken button
hole, haven't your" But" "Oh,
I'd scold some more IL were in your
place" "WelE, /" "a sermon on
patience as, q domestic virtue! UmphI
hope your congregation will enjoy
Chicago Herald.
: -Bildad--" Why don't you buy a
typewriter, OrmsbyP" Ormsby -" My
wife doesn't understand type-writ-
ing,. and If she did a fellow doesn't
care to have his wife around his office
all the time" Bildad-"Your wife
wouldn't have to run 1t. You could
hire girl for small salary"
Ormsby-" AS I said before, 1 don't
want NY wife around the Office all the
lime. "-Terre Haute Express.
SCHOOL, AND CHURCH.
! Recent statistics show that, The
number of colleges and institutions in
the country Is the, salne as il was ten
years ago. but the number of students
has increased from II, 161 to S2.315 in
the Same period.
! A writer in the Congregationalist
says that the word deacon has fallen
into disrepnte, because 80 many repu-
table writer's have made deacons the
butts Of rfdicule' and satire. The re-
salt of this IT, seen in the re-
luctance OF so many good men to ac-
cept this Office in the New England
churches
Tho Leeds Mercury is authority
tor the statement that there, are In
England and Wales 25Oreligious de-
nominations, with $4,000. places OF
worship. There are 38,0O0 ministers,
and the church and chapel officials
number about 10000. Communicate
number about 3;000.OO6 The annual
cost OF all this is about $50, 100000
lin addition to preaching wef1. the
successful pastor must be able to plan
for his people. and to lead them in car
rying out good planss He must be-
able to tide them over crises. He must
be a man Of affairs: Nothing pleases
u people more than to- see their minis.
ter human enough to grapple with the:
business sida Of Christian.
Standard
The history Of the church shows
that while "God buries His workmen."
He does not fall to "carry on their
work" Tho. former die and disap-
-. a.. x.~nV, that, IA