The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1889-05-11

l l'ht tht WV NiSNt'iN Bio''t oiiN ot''
or crops here, and allude feelingl,
to number one hard and ehint
bugs and other fora and fauna O
this country which, to be homes
with you, l do not and never dix
give n dam for"
"Groverw
DWELL, beg pardon, dear, and
oughtn't to speak that way before
you but if you knew how mucl
better l feel now you would mo-
speak so harshly to me. 1t is, in
deed, hard to be ever gay and joy
Gus before the great masses who
as Il general thing do not know
enough to pound sand but who are
still vested with the divine right OF
suffrage; and so must be treated
gently and loved and smiled at till
it makes me ache"
Mr.. Cleveland was greatly an
noyed by the publication of this
conversation, and could not under
stand it until this fall, when a
Minneapolis man told him that the
pale, naughty coachman who drove
the presidential carriage was a re-
porter. He could handle II team
with one hand and remember
things with the other.
And so / say that as q President
we cannot be too careful what we
say. hope that the little boys
and girls who read this may be-
come Presidents or wives of Presi-
dents, will bear this in mind, and
always have a kind word for one
and all, whether they feel that way
or not. But ! started out to speak
of porters and not reporters. /
carry with me, this year, IL small
sorrel bag, weighing little over
twenty ounces. 1t contains slight
bottle of horse medicine and IL
powder rag. Sometimes it also
contains a costly robe de mutt,
when | do not for get and leave
said robe in the sleeping-car or
hotel. ! am not erdrawing this
matter, however, when / say hon
estly that the shrill cry of fire at
night in most any hotel in the u.
S. now, would bring to the frees
cape from one to six employees of
said hotel wearing these costly
vestments with my brief but inn
perishable name engraved on the
bosom. This little traveling-ba
which is not larger than mans
hand, is rudely pulled out of my
grasp as | enter the inn and it cost
me 500 to get it back from the
porter. Besides, | have paid 1925
for new handles to replace those
that have been torn off in Il frantic
scufiie between the porter and my
self to see which would get away
with it.
Yesterday 1 was talking with
reformed lecturer about this peculi-
arity of the porters. He said he
used to lecture great deal at
moderate prices throughout the
country, and after ten years of
earnest toll he was enabled to re-
tire with rich experience and 80
in money. He lectured on phre-
nology and took his meals with the
chairman of the lecture committee.
In Ouray, Col, the baggage allow
ed his trunk to fall from II great
height, and so the lid was knocked
off and the bust which the professor
used in his lecture was busted.
lie, therefore, had to borrow n
bald-headed man to act as bust for
him in the evening. After the
close Of the lecture the professor
found that the bust had stolen the
gross receipts from his coat-tail
pocket while he was lecturing.
The only improbable feature about
this story is the implication that
a bald-headed man would commit
n crime. But still he did not be-
come soured. He pressed on and
lectured to the janitors of the land |
in piercing tones. He was always
kind to everyone, even when peo.
pie criticisep he lecture and went |
away before he got through. lie
forgave them and paid his bills
just the same as lie did when peo-
pie liked him.
Once newspaper man who had
done him IA great wrong by saying
that "the lecture was decayed and
that the professor would endear
to everyone, if he would
some night at his hotel, instead of
out the gas and turning
)ff his brains, as he usually did,
ust turn out the gas and blow out
iis brains. But the professor did
lot go to his Office and blow holes
n his viscera. lie spoke kindly to
lin always, and once when the