New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-07-31
CHANCES HERE AND THERE.

GLAN LED HEilE AMI IHEHC.
A correspondent has written to Tho Tribune TO
know all about Lalage Horacc's Laago-" to Laagen'-
you know. Tho question IS answered elsewhere but
1t suggests little story and reelection. 1t was In
the Centennial year. at Philadelphia tho great crowds
were srglng and struggling through the stransr pro
vldcd for the necessary stranlng Of the passengers
These poor unfortuna;es hot, dazed, snheeated
blind, deaf. and In the thickest OF the press
at the narrowost part OF the straner. regular Dutch
gaot Of a woman, VINO wasn't going by the train'
hal to stop to kiss her daughter who was she,
grWvn-up with five children, bound for
Tacony, some such remote part. At last the IRON
zied ticket puncher, who, in his excitement had
actually punched gbbous moon out OF his oh-thumD-
nall could bear it no longer Goshang IT, ladies'
ally gagging n They quit, the crowd clapped, anil
now the reflection arises II lally gagging does not
come from laage, what or who does 10 come lron
She Is the very girl. you may be sure. The man WHO
does not believe that on sight Is no phIlOogs'
Has It occurred to any one else that the old common
| law lately revived revivifed in jersey. under
which scold7 IS was liable to be ducked
on duckng stool, equally applied to such ncorrgioe
brewers and bakers might be found guilty OF cheat
| ing in their malt or meal? BY the way, "cucklng,
| stOol' the original name. OF course brewers
have long since passed into the secure regions vi
billions and barones. yet 1t would seem that thing
might sl DO gained by cucklng' AN occasional paKer
good thing, but never truer than when he called
Trafalgar Square the finest site IN Europe. NOW take
| away Castle Garden and you shall see finer Clear
away the buildings mostly squat and unattractive,
that lie between Bowling Green, Whitehall and the
Battery Park, set back the roads, and don't forget
to take away or apply some combined. dsinfectans
| and eye-loton to the South Ferry sheds
and slips, and there you have the fin
est site to be found in any town
In the world. Bar Naples II you Ike though that
may be argued, mind you. Well, suppose 1t should
cost $1,000 00O2 Just compare the cost and effect
with what has been seen, and will be again, win
| courthouses and capitos. But half loaf IN tho
shape OF a slightly Custom House would be better
than bread, bad bread as now. Certainly few
architects in this country can hope for such chance
to show their work after It IS done At al eye1 u.s.
railroad The emigrants can 20 almost anywhere
else with positive advantage
And whiIo In the vein, what Improvement 1t
would be for the capital Of an imperial republic to
clear away the low and unlovey buildings that for
the most part merely cumber the south side OF Penn
| syavana-aye. from the Treasury TO tho Capitol
grounds Most of the houses are old, cheap and
poor; nearly all stand with their feet in the ooze at
the best of times; at high water their cellars are full
of liquid filth. Throw tho land thus cleared into the
park or mall, make Il Into Columbus Park II you
quickly change from one Of the meanest TO perhaps
the finest of American streets
Gentlemen bootblacks, or, rather sgnor boot
blacks, why stand ye half the day idly doing at the
corner in the sun, after the men Of the family are
| gone downtown, and tho casual has flown, when you
might DO turning many honest nickel and earning
the gratitude OF many sorely tried household even
| behind a front of brOwnstOne by going round and
backing the family boots by contracti
And who will be the first in the language Of the
modern biography, to "begin pencilsharpener'f Any
one can wind clock, not every one can sharpen
pencil at least so that the lead shall have prac-
cable point standing clear Of the wood and the wood
neither gnawed gnarled; yet there are clock
wlnders, but no pencllsharpeners. DO it by con-
tract II preferred and keep the family, the office or
the store IN pointed pencils by the day, week montn
year. dozen or gross. Hero is new trade for you.
them
When the enterprsng founder and owner Of the
Eberon was making anagram out of his own name
did It never occur him to call his comfortable inn
the Elbowroomi
"Reminiscences of Washington In the olden time,
when The Evening Star" yet new, and little
and pale above the horizon One afternoon there
appeared among the special advertisements on the
second page among the Firemen's Balls" the I'm
proved Order of Red Men" and the Excursions to
Glymontn this tale OF mystery. "Noice.-The wife
of James Bopp IS not the wife of George Bopp James
Bopp0 Why notl What was 1t all about What
tale of tragedy comedy, farce pantomime lay hid
behind this cautious statement of an obvious facti
The Cbarlatan Is dead; long live she Charlatan |
Boulanger and Boulangism and all that mounte-
banlery are no moro. Now for the next There is
always one The berth long vacant In France
or anywhere Look at our long list OF the Napoleons
| Of Finance We know where they arc and what has
become of hem those whose very names even are not
already forgotten We know there was nothing tor
Them beyond the inherent difficulty of muddling away
a certain number Of millions in less than certain
number Of months. Yet only not all men here among
us threw up their caps for those brevesnapoeons In
their little day. as others did elsewhere for the other
Napoleons And we may be sure it Will be tho
same when the next ono comes along He may be on
the way now; probably is. Why, oh, whyF Well,
for excitement for thing, the green food of dull
dry lives and then each man in the great crowd OF
waverers is always afraid the procession will go by
If he waits and he Will be left But 1t never
lasts long, this precious charlaanry. IL II worries
YOU or you, just give it eighteen months W
run Next charlatan
The "Iast OF the Charlatans' wouldn't make bad
| novel for summer slipping And the " Lives OF che
| Charlatanso would be a history worth reading, at
least once. What fun 1t would be to know their St.
Hellenic thoughts Of themselves, each other and their
former followers.