The Washington critic., 1889-05-08
MATTER WORTH READING.

extremely lively with the rough and
ready frontier life. The landlord
showed me to room, and, about the
time / was falling into the arms of
Morpheus, loud rapping was heard
upon my chamber door ! asked,
who's thero?" This hycrcs my
number on this door and want IL, - re
piled somebody in rough male voice
] said; "You can't get In, sir; this Is
my room" "Opcn the door, or in she
comes, was the reply. never opened
the door, and, sure enough, II was burst
open. A big, strapping fellow, prcsu
mably u cowboy, with BIG leather boots
on and wearing u belt, from which
danglcd the customary brace of six.
shooters, staggered into the room.
Without any ceremony or mutual intro
duction between MS, he piled himself
into the bed by my side, with his big
boots and all his clothing on. lie was
in drunken condition and possessed
foul.smclling breath and wonderful
power TO produce stcntorian snorcs.
My sleep that night was very much
broken, you can imagine. But, on u
recent visit TO Denison, | found very
good hotels, with landlords who al
lowed no interlopers TO disturb me.
How TO Take Away Appetite.
A certain lady who keeps q rather
fashionable boarding house In this city
is troubled with ten boarders--no less
than ten-who possess enormous appe-
titcs. Everybody that knows board.
| ing-house can realize that ten boardcrs
with large appetites are very hard upon
| the profit of the concern. She tried,
| like thorough business woman, all
| sorts of methods to check these ungodly
appetites, but with no avail
| One day she happened TO tell her
family doctor Of these ten hungry men
and how they worried her, and he said
Immediately: why, I can give you an
easy remedy for that"
| She told him that she would be very
much obliged to him for any help that
he could give her on the subject, and
moreover said that II would be worth
| great deal Of money to her.
| "Well, !" said he, "neXt week bake a
lot of lemon pies and see that those ten
boarders get their share of pic"
''1s that all prescription, doctor?"
said the lady.
"Yes, a'am, he replied, "and you
will find il is quite enough.
of lemon pies, and she saw to IL that the
ten boardcrs were helped twice TO pie
on the first day. After that she noticed
gradually that their appetites fell away,
and at the end of that week there was
an unmistakable diminuton in the bill
for provisions required for that board
ing g.house.
The lemon pie diet was continued
until the boarding house became rs
profitable as II had previously been
improbable. II is not within my power
to say exactly how the lemon pie acts
upon the average boarder, but II is GER
tainly fact that in this case the lemon
pies produced what no other system of
dieting could accomplish. This recipe
may be of use to some of the down
trodden boarding house mistrcsses in
this Pittsburg Dispatch.
Took the Whole Hog.
| Whether "a lie well told and stuck
TO afterward is as good as the truth"
was debated at dinner table where
was sitting one day this week, and it
brought out the following story from a
rather dyspeptic looking man who had
eaien very sparingly: 81 used to live up
in the country" said he. Zone of my
neighbors, an unlucky, unthrifty sort
sort Of man, killed a pig one day with
the aid of a local butcher, and after the
killing he said to-. the butcher, by
jinks, Sam, hate to cut up that pig
'Why?' cause, you see, I'm OWN
most everybody around here piece of
pork, and If cut up the pig I'll have
to give the most of himaway.' i tell
you what I'd do said the butcher.
What that?' I'd leave the pig hung
up out doors till 10 o'clock at night,
then take him in and give out the next
morning that he's been stolen BY
jinks, I'll do It'll 1t was wonder
fully fine plan, the farmer thought, and
he left the pig hanging out, as the
butcher suggested. About II o'clock
the butcher himself came along and
loaded the pork into his wagon. 1t
was not there when the farmcrswent
out after 1t. The next day, with long
face, he accosted the butcher in hoarse
whisper. I say, Sam, somebody did
really steal that pig That's right,
said the butcher, nudging him and
winking wickedly at the same tlme
But, by jinks, the pig was really
stolen That's right; you stick to
that and you'll be all right, said the
butcher, encouragingly, and he hurried
Off, leaving his friend in q most bewil-
dcred state Of mind, from which /
don't think he ever fully emerged. y
| Lewiston Journal.
Little Use for Their Legs.
Agent @. N. Mclean of the Amcri.
can Mills, Rockville, Conn, is some
what of poultry fancier. lie shows
at his home something that has not re-
Gently, If ever been equaled in the line
Of spring chickens. OF brood of
eight, four Of the youngsters have
adopted new style OF locomotion,
which consists of walking or rather
wriggling on their backs instead OF
their legs. They sit up after the
fashion Of an aux or penguin, con the
small of their backs" In eating the
head is ducked forward slightly, but re,
fusing to reach forward more than a
slight distance, goes back with jerk,
and the little freaks land partly on their
backs and partly on the wings, which
they bend back as though to break the
force of the fall. In the meantime the
legs are cropping about in the air like Il
young colt which lies on its back and
kicks. The Hartford C0uuR states
that Mr. Mclean has sent q sample OF
his new breed to specialist for eX,
animation. - N. Y. Telegraph
A Pretty Compliment.
The military custom of saluting by
bringing the hand into horizontal po
sition over the eyebrows, is thus ac
counted for II is supposed to date bacI
to the tournaments Of the middle ages
when, after the queen of beauty wa
enthroned the knights who were L
take part in the sports Of the da,
marched past the dais on which sh,
sat, and, as they passed, shielded thei