The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1889-07-04
WORK OF THE WITS.

to one another.
Man proposes, God disposes, wom-
an discomposes, the divorce court
interposes, and the press exposes.
1t some people should speak the
truth it wouldn't shame the devil as
much as it would surprise him.
Humanity much resembles the sue
culent and seductive strawberry.
The green ones generally go to the
bottom.
Female BARRIERS are not havin
much success. Gentlemen will not
go to them, because they dislike to
be cut by q lady.
The charity which hides a multi
tude of sins isn't half so much need
cd as the sterner virtue which raw
hides them.
1t is lucky that the youthful mind
finds it so easy to acquire knowledge,
as we have to learn so much that we
husU JoTSeG alUefWafd.
1t is estimated that some women
carry forty or fifty miles of hair
about their heads. Forty or fifty
miles without a switch is a good long
distance for an air line.
1t is easy enough to bring up q
child in the right way. All you have
to do is to watch the way in which
most people bring up their children,
and then do something else.
A perpetual motion machine has
not yet been invented, but the ton
que of a 7-year-old boy asking ques-
lions comes pretty near it.-Somer
vile Journal.
The American system of checking
baggage is admitted to be excellent.
Now, if some genius would invent q
method OF checking the American
baggage-smasher our system would
be perfect.
1t is said of a Canadian mother
who died the other day: "She was a
true wife, a fond mother, and so
managed affairs as to marry off her
nine girls before any other female in
the neighborhQod could even get o
beau"
A domestic in an Indiana town
where natural gas has been intro
duced for fuel, gave her mistress
prompt notice of leaving, remarking
that she wouldn't cook Gods
meat over hell-fre."
1t is said that the land is so rich in
many parts of Missouri that melons
cannot be raised on it. The melons
grow all right, but the vines grow
so fast that they wear the melons
out dragging them around the prai-
RE alter them.
Jeweler Ito lady whose purchases
surprise him. "Excuse me, madam,
but may 1 enquire why you have Sc
lected only designs in imitation of
bugs, spiders, lizards and serpents
in purchasing your jewelry?" Mrs.
Thinkhardt: "Certainly, sir. My
husband drinks, and I'm going to
make him think he's got 'em.
Mosquitoes are so plentiful in
Chicago that couple of lovers sit
ting on the back steps of a residence
on Wabash avenue were bitten $50
times in 80 minutes. They didn't
mind it, however-in fact, they didn't
know they had received bite until
an hour after.
A sea captain who had a protane
parrot on his vessel broke him of
swearing by dashing cold water in
his face. One day some hens on
board got ducking from sea spray.
Passing by the parrots perch he
espied their forlorn condition and
called out, "Guess you've been say
lug udulu, 100.
Mrs. Lugsby "Old Mr.. Grumpy,
the doctor says, is suffering from
elephantiasis.' Mrs. Bagsby;
Caught it at the show, I suppose.
Hereafter no boy of mine shall go to
see the elephant without having been
vaccinated. You can't tell exactly
what the elephant is fetch over here in
Their trunk" u =
'''Be your own DOCTOR" advises a
patent-ml9ted ned aa4yertis;eer. It i,
pretty good advice, too. The man
who is his own doctor can visit him
self half q dozen times @ week, charge
81 a visit, collect $25 at the end OF
the month and be just that much in
pocket. We don't suppose he ever
looked at it in that light.
Washington Post: Tramp: Mister,
give me something to eat; Pm hungry
and out of work" Practical party
Tin suburbs): "What do you work
at?"' l am q wood engraver, sir. -
+. P tdelighted): 'Ah, very good
just walk AROUND behind the back
kitchen; you'll find q say ,Woodhorse,
and some wood, Will you be kind
enough to engrave cord or so
while see about your breakfast"
But the cloud of dust disappearing
down the road answereth not.