Wichita eagle., 1889-08-23
HOW HE RUNS THE RANCH.
LARGE PART TAKEN BY THE OFFICE
I BOY OF A DAILY PAPER.

Other Positions of Some Importance, Yet
They Shrink When Compared with His
Among all the attaches of big newspaper
! there Is one who nnagines himself the head
| and front of the concern. the pre-eminent
manager of the office. but for whose untiring
energies and indonitabie will the paper would
never find its way to the subscribers front
! doorsteps two hours before sunrise, rain or
shine, every day In the week, including Sun
! days This self important individual on whose
! shoulders rests so great responsibility Is no
| less a parsonage than the Office boy, the
much abused, greatly maltreated, and ever
moderated youth who spends many sleepless
! nights worrying abnut the editorial conduct
! of the paper
The Office boy b sut. properly speaking a
| marvel of probity. &sc is nearer kin to the
| devil He may think he gets up the paper
but he doesn't. He only assists, and he as
sists in his own peculiar way. He is always
in the way when one doesn't want him, and
is never around when there is AN urgent case
on hand which requires his immediate atten-
/ ton. Ee is slower than his brother of the
district messenger service. and chews gum,
keeping time with his jaws to all his move
ments. But he isn't aware, or pretends not
to be, that there Is anything in his general
make up which tends to detract IN the least
from the many excellent qualities he thinks
he possesses.
Johnny thinks he has hard struggle for
an existence, but Johnny is mistaken. It's
! true he has to run back and forth hundred
times in the course of night between the
local and telegraph rooms and the composing
room. 1t is also true that everybody wants
him at the same time, and on such occasions
he has to bring his fine judgment as news
paper man into play and decide on the SPUR
of the moment whom to serve first The
copy in the local room must be carried into
the composing room Immediately; likewise
q big bundle OF news that has Just arrived
by the lightning process over a copper wire.
The foreman, too, has some proofs which
Z must be taken at once to the proof reader
but Johnny, if he is as bright as the average
office youngster, knows just whom to serve
first. Strange to say he doesn't attempt to
run all three errands at once. He doesn't go
to the nearest place either, but hurries, after
his own fashion, to the room where he would
stand the best chance Of getting blowing
up If he didn't answer the call promptly
Ten minutes later he shufiies into the local
room.
Ibid you ringE' he asks.
"Ring? Why we've been ringing for you
for the last half hour "
mo you haven't, either I've been sitting
ont by the elevator for ths last ten minutes
and you haven't rung once during that time y
We'll, here now, take this COPY out and
hurry up about it. Tell Mr.. Jones that this
leads the South side murder with display
head
who was murdered?" asks the boy.
"'Peter Brown. Hurry up, now"
''W ho killed hin:"
"Oh, Sam Williams killed him in saloon
row on Clark street Now take that copy out
and hurry up about il for the first edition"
IAN right, sir Did he shoot him or stab
him."
"Will you take that copy outgn asks the
copy reader losing his temper
We'll, amt | taking it outa What are
you givin' usa Do you take me for streak
Of lightningf"
This Is more than the copy reader can
stand He jumps up and makes for the fiery
headed youth, but on these occasions johnny
displays has latent agility He invariably
reaches the door first and slams it in the
others face with the parting adlnonition that
he's ''gettin' too fresh"
Johnny starts out with the copy after this
little episode. and as he couldn't get the in
formation he wanted verbally be stops on
the way % digest the contents of the COPY.
II is important that he should know every
thing that goes into the paper, but he hasn't
educated the employees OF the local room up
TO a recognition Of that fact yet He hopes
to do SO before long. He hopes also TO get q
raise of salary soon, for he Is tired OF work
ing himself TO DEATH for dollar week and
car fare.
Johnny has one sympathizing friend into
whose willing ear he pours all his woes. This
is the elevator man. He gives the youngster
all the free rides he wants down to the street
floor and back and thereby incurs his ever
lasting friendship johnny swears by the
man who manipulates the wire rope that con-
trolls the movements OF the elevator cage and
that individual is the only person whom he
recognizes his superior. For him be will
do any service. He is the only person about
the Office whom Johnny envies his position
and the only one on whom ne won't play
tricks
After Johnny has bed one Of his frequent
rows with the copy readers in the local or
telegraph room he seeks consolation from his
friend
The office boy is the only person in news
paper Office who does just a. he pleases. When
TIE circus comes to town h takes his day of
without asking anybody's permission. On
the Fourth OK July be touches of big FIRE
cracker under the proofreaders desk and
sticks crooked pin in the night editors chair
10 get even with that Individual for sending
him out after his midnight lunch He never
means 10 do any OF these things. They and
hundred ether annoying little tricks that
he Is responsible for are accidents, and when
they happen he puts or bis most sorrOwful
look and seems 50 genuinely repentant that
one doesn't have the heart TO strike the lad
These woe begone looks are 81 on the surface,
however, and as soon he gets chance 70
slip away be hies himself TO an unfreqaentei
spot and his good laugh all TO himself His
vacations generally come whenever be gets
sick, which be does on every holiday and
about once week besides
The office boy. in fact, is probably the
sickiiest person hung, bat the redeening fes-
ture OF bis sick1sss Is that it always comes
over hin &C toe nacst opportrre tame for lis
own convenience The Office boys position Is
not slnecure, after al He = everFbody's
property and every one takes 3 kick at him
whs1 be chooses He Is esernsliy kicking up
afuss IN sa.us denar tzDenA but ne invarsahlb