Smyrna times., 1889-10-02

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"Oh, yes; it's always me One
would think you were afraid to breathe
unless gave my consent in writing.
Have l said word against house
cleaning? Don't know that house
cleaning must be done? | was won
dering the other day when you were
going to begin"
But last year you raised such a
! fuss"
Cant remember that l said one
single word. If l did, it was only in
fun"
And l may clean ?"
mot only that, but I'll help"
But you needn't. You Just be pa
| tient and put up with the muss for a
few days and I'll get"-
As l said, l will help, Mrs. Bowser.
1t will be a sort of vacation for me.
Don't you worry about my finding any
fault"
1t was with fear and trembling that
saw him put on an old suit of clothes
next morning and heard him say:
"Pll begin on the parlor first. It's
now o'clock. We ought to be
through with the whole house in two
hours"
Tin afraid we are not SO smart
as that. We must 90 slow and give
the house a thorough going over"
"Oh, We'll have everything shining
like new pin before we let up. You
boss, and III do the work. You know
of course, that there is everything in
the planning. Some folk make whole
weeks job Of hOuse-cleaning simply
because they don't know how to plan.
Mother and | used to clean house in
half an hour, and you know how par
ticular she is"
After breakfast the cook came in and
said she was ready. and she likewise
announced that the two colored women
were in waiting.
Waiting for what ?" asked Mr..
BOwser.
ITO help us clean" l replied.
Send them right home Five of us
to clean house! Who ever heard of
the like! Do you want the neighbors
to think we have been shoveling dirt
into the house all summer? I'll start
those colOred women for home, and I
don't want any help from the cook.
Let her attend to affairs in the kitchen "
He went out and started" the two
women l had engaged and then re-
turned with the announ cement that he
was ready to start in on the spare bed
room, having already taken down the
curtains and removed the bedding.
"All right-I'll have it done in five
minutes!" he replied as he spit on his
hands. you clear out and give me
room to work. l think l can give YOU
and all other women a pointer on
hOuse-cleaning."
l went down stairs and it wasn't
over seven minutes before he called to
me:
"All right, Mrs. Bowser-your room
is cleaned Come up and show me
what to do next"
"What have you done ?" I asked, as
l found him seated on the window sill
with complacent smile on his face.
"Cleaned the room. Every picture
has been taken down and busted, the
bedstead wiped off, and l have swept
the carpet. Your three or four
women would have been two days ac-
cOmplishing the same task have com.
pleted in less than ten minutes. l tell
you, Mrs. Bowser, it is all in the plan.
ming"
"But that bedstead must come down,
Mr.. Bowser."
"What for ?"
because the carpet must come up.
Everything must be moved out of the
room and the floor cleaned"
"Well, l should like to know what
forP What's the matter of this room
just as it is ?"
Dust, Mr.. Bowser. It blows and
we can't help it. Moths get in now
and then. If we don't do our work
thoroughly we might as well let it 60
entirely. Take the bedstead down
first"
"I'll take it down, but protest. It's
all bOsh hunting out every speck OF
dust. No one else does it. Get out oi
the way p'
He made a grab for the springs and
lifted them out, but in getting them
clear of the rail he fell over backwards
and the springs fell upon him. He
made use of several vigorous exclama.
tions, kicked out in an effort to demol.
ish them, and as l assisted him to gel
up he rOared:
81 told you that these things ought
to be left alone. The fool who invent
ed them never intended they should be
moved |"
calmed down after bit, and then
asked him to take down the bedstead
He grabbed the foOtboard and gave q
pull. Then he grabbed the headboard
and gave a wrench.
"Mr. Bowser, don't you know how
to take bedstead apart ?" l asked.
Don't /? Well, if don't, no one
else does 1 was taking bedsteadi
apart ten years before you were born
You always have to loosen the joints g
bit. Now them
"But you don't bear down on tn,
rail. You must lift up at the ends"
81 think know my business, Mrs
Bowser," he replied, as he worked
away.
"But you don't. You are lockin,
the rails instead of loosening them
See here"
pulled at the end of rail, and un
locked it. Mr.. Bowser backed off
crossed his hands on the small of his
back and said
Mrs. Bowser, that settles it.
clearly see your object. We will have
no more house-cleaning this fall.
see what it would lead to. When
wife gets the idea that she knows NOR,
than her husband it is time to hois
the danger signal. Just drop things
/ right here. That is, unless you hav,
planned to bring about this very thinl
to force legal separation"
He dressed and went off down town
I and have been cleaning house in
: guarded manner for the last week.
Z. thing he knows it too, but he pretend
Y ignorance as the best way out of th,
: affair. shall be all through in tn
course of couple of days more, an,
inside Of week expect to hear MI
Bowser observe:
II was just looking around and NO
ticing how clean and tidy everything
is. 1t was q good thing / suggeste
house-cleaning this fall, and / don
think anybody could have planned
. better than i did. When we get read