Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1889-10-30
PITH AND P0INE

NERIMgREl6 -
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fEaspIRArioH never RIMS but Il
cOres.
voLr1sa into the unknown-DeAth
~ electricity.
A sYxDicArE 81 cattlemen has ! per
iiect right to water its stocf.
IRIS odd how much iood i horse can
go without and still be no faster.
Tar waiter girl is different from 4
poet. She is not born; she Is maid to
order.
The fiy-wheei Is the anarchist III ms
ehanics. 1t IL always engaged In reys-
buttons,
CHICAGO has a gigantic ieathet trust.
The increasing size Of tbs women's
shoes render 1t necessary.
Why don't they select sailors is base
ball umpires? A tar ought to be d
good Judge how a thing is pitched.
WHEN b married woman goes out to
look after her rights her husband is
usually left at home with his wrongs.
AWEsTERs jewelcr, whose store was
attached by a Buffalo IN. ~ creditor,
POSTED his notice on the door. sClosed
to meet Buffalo Bill
QUEEN Of Spain-Good gracious!
The baby king has the stomach. ache.
Lord Chamberlain (excitedlyl- Call
the Secretary Of the Interior!
OMAHA TEACHER would like some
one of the class 10 define the meaning
Of vice versa. Bright boy-It's Sleep
ing with your feet towards the head Of
the bed.
THEY sat within the parlor dim
And ~fretfully she laid to HIM
II not, / wish thst You would shave
-Bosto's Courier.
LITTLE Ethel less than three years
old, saw man walking along the street
with his arm in 9 sling. @Oh, Mamma"
she cried, "there goes q man with his
arm in a hammock
STRANGER-1'd like ter git . Job at
something, but I'm a stranger here an
amt got no references. Merchant--In
that case there is no chance for you
anywhere, except on the police force.
THIS is q world of vicissitudes. To-
day a man is pressing his suit for q
wife: tomorrow a tailor Is pressing his
suit for his wedding, and the next day
q lawyer is pressing his suit for a di-
vorce.
MAMMA" said the little daughter of
a frequently "tired" merchant, "you
know the story in our reader about the
king who never smiled again." "Yes,
yes, dear" swell, does that mean that
he signed the pledge?"
RETURNED Traveler-I have often
thought OF that young Mr.. Tease, and
| how he used to torment Miss Auburn
about her red hair. Did she ever get
syen with him? Old friend-Long
ago. She married him.
"Now. which of the great men in the
past would you rather be, Roberto"
asked the teacher, after q long and in
teresting talk on the celebrities of his
tory. "None OF EN-" replied Robert,
promptly. "None of them! Why not?"
cause they're all dead"
A GIRL who has got tired Of single
blessedness wrote to her intended as
follows: @Dear Jim; cum rite off if
you are cummin' at al. Ed Hilton is
insistin' that shell hev him, and he
hugs and kisses me SO much that I
can't hold out much longer"
GoRGIE's uncle-Now, George, you
know cannibals are people who live off
each other. G~corgie-"Your'e a canni-
bal, Amt you, uncle?" "Why no,
George! Why do you ask? Z" well,
! papa said to me last night that you'd
been living off your relations for years"
FRAGMENT.
Dear Kate: ny this mail J advance
no you the remnant OF my PANTS.
There's Just the waist-bnnd and one leg
Which you'll accept with love. I brg.
II may be when you find the rest
They'll make your brother Tim q vest.
The shreds / send are very slight.
Your pos dog got the rest last night.
--OmaIa World.
HIS chances improving: do you
| love me, dear?" asked Cholly softly.
.Well, Cholly," said Molly, ITO tell
you the truth, ] nm not quite sure; but
J think perhaps I could love you
enough to be your wife If you could
only manage to get your salary raised"
BALD-HEApED and very homely old
gentleman Ito photograper)-Drat such
pictures! Can't you make me look any
better than that after Ave sittings?
Photographer thoroughly exasperated)
II think l eau, sir, if you will allow
me to take the back of your head. 1t
hasn't SO much expression as the other
side, but it's q blamed sight prettier.
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