The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-08-11
Save your money by purchasing three
ply carpets at H. Dinwoodsy's.
Pure drugs at Crismon-scarff Cos.
DISPENSING A TRAMP.


was eating dinner at a farm house in
Indiana when one of the children came in
and announced highway tramp had
called at the kitchen door and asked for q
bite to eat. The farmer was a very fat
very short, and black headed man, and he
was postmaster at the corners and justice
of the peace in and of the county He had
son called James, another called Moses,
and a hired man who was addressed as
Trowser, He sent out word for the tramp
to sit down and rest and as laugh went
around the table he explained:
"After dinner shall be pleased to show
you how we encourage tramps in this sec
ton. This is evidently new man to this
part Of the state or he would never have
called here,
After dinner we went out. The tramp
was sitting under cherry tree, looking
as comfortable as you please, and evidently
unsuspicious that anything except dinner
was in store for him. He looked to me
like bad man to fool with, but the farmer
didn't seem to read him that way.
"Now, Them he said, as he rubbed his
fat hands together, you will stand up"
"What fur!" asked the tramp.
ITO be kicked am going 20 boot you
1EOu1 IulS SpOG uOWu W LHdt SllfSIGu GSlS-
phone pole.''
''But, Object
Cant help that AS a fourth class post
master of the United States Of America,
command you to arise"
"If am kicked somebody else will get
hurt" cautioned the tramp as he got up.
GAS one of the justices of the peace in and
for this couoty commend you to disperse,' y
said the farmer, as he turned the tramp
toward the gate and administered kick.
Next instant he received a left-hander
on the nose which knocked hin in to con-
fused heap on the grass, and the tramp got
out of his old coat and prepared for bus
mess.
''Trewser pulverize him!n shouted the
farmer as he struggled to his knees. ''In
the name of the United States 1 command
you to knock him downp
Trowser advanced, his big fists doubled
up, but the tramp danced to the right and
the left. and then sent in one on the hired
mans commissary department which doub-
led him up and laid him among the holly
hooks.
flames, Moses, make him prlsonerm
yelled the old man, as he plucked handful
of grass and held it to his bleeding nose
The tramp chuckled. There was fun
ahead.
The two boys were strapping young fell
lOWS, SbTOuS cuOusu W huOCh uOWH dH OK
and they were willing to goin. AS they
stripped off the tramp backed up between
two current bushes, where they could not
flank him, and as they advanced upon him
he grinned all over. He played with them
for minute or two, and then drew long
breath, made three or four feints, and piled
them on the grass together. Neither
moved to get up for full two minutes.
Meanwhile the tramp rested and looked
over to me and queried:
"Yon amt one of the crowdp'
''No."
"And don't want me to disperse."
mot particularly"
"All right, 1 don't think the United
States and his gang want anything more
of me just now, and as / have an engage
ment down the road I'll move on. When
they get washed up and the bandages on
tell 'em 1 used to scrap with the boys in
Chicago in days gone by, and that 1 held
myself in and let 'em off very mild. Good
by stranger Ia, ia, old fatty"
And he had not been gone ten minutes
before the postmaster came over to me and
whispered:
''Did you !''-New York Sun.