The morning news., 1889-01-30
BRIGHT BITS.

WE'LL, MY DEAR, what did you think of Dr.
FerDose's sermon this morningl"
| why, was very much surprised. l never
hnew before that the apparently simple text
ne M choSe was so hard to explain. "Hd Tper's
| Magazine.
WORTHY OF HIS NAxE-Dr. Paul Gibier pro
| poses TO experiment on monkeys with yellow
| feEer germs, and adds: Il suppose | may get
the fever myself before finishing my expert.
| nents There is no doubt about Gibier being
| game.-Puck.
CoIoRED SrRANeER--You doan' know me, ]
reckon? )
Pawnbroker-No.
-, Use one OBJ de presidents of Hayti. an I'd
| IKE ter pawn dat country fer enough ter buy a
| square meal Philadelphia Record.
| FREDDY B. is troubled about his wan com.
| ptexlon. and wants to know If we can recon-
| mend some exercise that will bring flush to his
cheeks. An athlete who has tried it, Freddy,
says the best thing you can do is to sit down on
your stln nat in a crowded church.-Life
OFFICE Boy Ito Literary Editor}-There's a
mad old gent outside wat wants ter see yer.
Literary Editor-Did ne say what he wanted.
Omce Boy-feS, sir; he said how you printed a
poem that his son writ and he SAYS he'll have
Satisfaction or get hcKed-CtncfnRdd Gazette.
AND now, little girls, said a Sunday-school
teacher. you may tell me about the epistes q"
little girl held up her hand. We'll - said the
teacher
The Epstles. said the little girl. ''the Fnis
Ties are the wives of the Apostles. - Christian
Register.
Mas. DEFAsHIoN (sneernglyl-Here I've been
wondering wh-re you were for the last hour
ana md you We besn up in the nursery That
new nurse girl is rather retty, isn't she p
Mr. Der. Quietly The nurse is out, out there
are some interesting children up there.-Phfld-
detphta Record.
WIFE-John, my housekeeping allowance
won't SUFFICE this week. You'll have to help me
out about s..
Tet
Wife-O, it wont happen again, but have
been trying some of the dollar dinners that the
newspapers are full of.-HdrDer's B0zdr.
WISH to get pipe suitable for a present :"
said the daughter. Let me see something
Something er-er-whatf" stammered the
bewildered clerk
An artistic pipe, - chimed in Mrs Malaprop
One that draws we'll, you know. '-Ne1U YORK
Sun.
DO you know, Mr.. Sampson. that l feel nerv-
Gus
Mr.: sampson-what makes you feel that
way Do you anticipate danger
Fair passenger CshYly)-No, l don't anticipate o
any danger, but we are approaching a tunnel
Epoch.
WFE-John, in your sleep last night you
talked good deal about your typewriter.
John-Ohl yes! The new one l Just DUR
chased! dreamed was writing on it-i re-
member now!
Wite-Indeed, Well, do you always hire 2
hack and buy wine when you write on it:-
Toledo Blade.
MISS BLIGHT-I met Jennie Cashcroft TO-DAY.
She told me, by the way, that she never allowed
Cashcroft to kiss her until after they were mar
ried
Miss Spite-So he married her out of curiosity.
l suppose If you had only tried that plan last
summer, perhaps you might have been Mrs
Cashcroft yourself, dear.-Terre Haute Err
press.
The MOTHERS JoKE.-Mother-I would not
put too much faith in Miss Pert, John
Son-Why not? She's all right
M.-Don't you think she's little fighty ant
TO change, like a weathercock?
S..No. What makes you think she's like a
weathercock?
M.-Because she's a little vain.-Boston
Courier.
MISS MABEL Ito Miss Spinster)-And so you
are really engaged to Mr.. Bently. are your
Miss Spinster-TeS. poor mRI; when his wife
died realized that there was a soul to save
and stepped in and saved it.
Miss Mabel-That is, you became engaged TO
him.
Miss Spinster is the same thing Miss
Mabel, the same thing-EDoch.