davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-07-25
THE LADY WAS FOOLED.


Ar Incident In Which Chlvalry Declined
to BE Imposed Upon.
The Southern Pacific conductor on
the Cotton train had rather a lively
experience He was making his rounds
in the usual manner, gathering up
tickets. and in the end seat of one Of
the coaches he ran across a lady with
hair and complexion of pronounced
auburn type-many would have called
1t red. She was deeply engrossed in
the pages of 1.-The Quick or the Dead"
and evidently did not notice his ar
rival, so in his blandest..tones the blue
coated official announced his presence
by ticket, please" The lady in ques-
ton fumbled for minute or two in q
little satchel and finally produced
pasteb0ard, which she handed to the
conductor. 1t proved to be a ticket to
Southern, so the man in blue handed
it back with a sweet smile, exclaiming:
This is no good on this road, madam"
why not?" she said. sharply. shut
ting her novel with a snap that nearly
sent an infant in the next seat into
Mysteries
Because this is the Southern Pacific
and not the California Southern road"
he explained.
The lady with Titan locks said that
she did not care what road it was; that
she had bought ticket to San Barnar-
dino and she intended to go there on
it. The conductor, warming to the
occasion, then told her if that was the
sort of logic she was going to use he
would have to ask her to leave the
train. as he had no right to carry her
without some sort of authority from
his company.
IN not go, and you can't put me
out" she shrieked. and as the bell
cord was pulled and the train came to
a stand. she took firm grip on the
handle of the seat A stalwart brake
man was, however. on hand, and the
two train-men joined forces and forci-
bly, lifted her onto the ground. They
carried her far enough away to insure
that she would not be able to run and
get on the train again before it pulled
away. and then they left her and made
a break-neck speed for the cars. The
engineer was watching the fun and
had the train already started. so they
boarded it on the fly, beating the
authenticated lady by about fifteen
yards, for she had also made dead
run for the train as soon as she was
released. The last seen of her she had
struck an attitude similar to that
usually understood as Ajax defying
the lightning" but the anathemas
which she was doubtless heaping upon
the heads of all connected with the
train were drowned by the click. click
Of the rapidly-revolving wheela-Los
Angeles Herald.
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-07-25
Closing Out at Cost !!
Millinery Goods!

| will in the next
30 days close out my
entire stock of MIliIn-
cry goods at cost.
Reason, am goln- oiit
of business. ana de-
sire to sell inme;Ii-
ately, either at retail
or my entire stock in
bulk.
Mrs. r. DRINKwATER.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-07-25
T Il q A 3 ri

Any one wanting good Arizona brood
mares please call on b. B. Bell, he ex-
poets to have on thus market 800 mares
from to years old, weighing from $50
to 1000 lbs. and are going to be sold
cheap for cash. II. B. BELL.
Dodge City, Kansas.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-07-25
Statesmen WANTED

To canvass for the sale OF Nursery Stock
Steady Employment Guaranteed. Salary and
Expenses paid to successful men. Apply AT once
stating age. Mention his paper.
CHASE BROTHERS COMPANY.
SOLOMON CRY, KANSAS.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
A Curious Discovery.

A curious discovery connected with
the recent disastrous fire at Spokane
Falls, Montana Territory, is re-
ported by local paper. A safe be-
coming cracked by the intense heat,
the books inside were charred and
baked to blackened crisp, though
they remained intact. Not a figure
could be read. One Of the bookkeepers,
while turning over the leaves, noticed
that where his finger, which was wet,
touched the page the figures became
legible. He procured a paint brush,
dipped it in water and dampened the
whole page, and was gratitied to see
all the figures dimly outlined. Two
bookkeepers than went TO work. and by
wetting the pages and carefully turn
ing the leaves succeeded in few days
in transferring all the accounts to n
new set of books.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

Men have gained reputation Tor
great wisdom. and men have written
books upon this reputation, by giving
people advice about what not to do.
They say don't" do this and don't"
do that. Now, my son, that is all very
we'll as far as it goes, but'it doesn't go
half way to the spot. A bridge hun
dred feet long is of no earthly account
if the river is two hundred feet wide.
You get just as wet wading half the
distance as you would if yor forded
from shore to shore. But the great
trouble with the don't people is, they
tell you TO "dont" things that you
never thought of doing. If they could
tell you all things you should don't, !"
leaving but one thing to do. that would
make things easy for you. But they
can't do this They say don't" do a
few things, and leave hundred things
untouched, which you can't for the life
of you tell whether to do or "don't."
A man who can tell you one thing TO
do is worth ten thousand advisers who
tell you a few things TO don't" A
pilot who avoids the rocks is good
enough if he knows all the rocks, but
he doesn't; for there are ten thousand
of them, and he knows only nine thou
sand five hundred of them, and is in
constant danger of smashing you on
some of the unknown five hundred.
But the man who knows only one thing,
and-that one the channel, he's safe.
He may not know where not to go, but
he knows just where TO go, and that is
the main thing; that is the only thing,
in fact. When a man tells you to
don't, ask him what you shall do.
And if he says he doesn't know, smite
him for personating a prophet under
false pretenses. Out on the whole
don't" crowd; miserable comforters
and pilots are they all.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

sYes, i wrote the novel in which the
Black Horse Cavalry first figured,
said Judge John Scott, of Warrenton,
Virginia, the other night. 1T was
along in 1853 or 80, think. that the
book was published, and the young
'bloods' of Warrenton, about the time
of the John Brown raid, raised COM
pany of cavalry and called it the Black
Horse The members of the command
comprised some of the bluest blood in
Fauquier, and every man was mounted
on a thoroughbred. General Billy
Payne, whose name has recently been
brought into prominence as candidate
for the nomination for Governor on the
Democratic ticket in Virginia, com
manded it at the first battle of Bull
Run. The Black Horse did excellent
service in the late war, but no better
than other cavalry troops. In the early
days of the war they did large bust
ness on very small capital, owing to
the exaggeration of their military
prowess in both armies, mainly due to
army correspondents for the press"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
Breathing the Germs OF Disease.

To inhale the germs OF disease with their
daily breath is the fate OF denizens OF malaria
'scourged localities everywhere. The endemic
atmospheric poison NAV, however, be reft OF its
venom and rendered innoNious 10y IA defensive
use OF Hostetters stomach Bitters. This pre-
eminently safe and effective remedy and safe
guard not only eradicates the disease when de
Iveloped but enables the system To safely brave
its assaults. Every physical function is con.
hrmed in or restored 10 regularity, the circula
ton quickened If sluggish, and n bilious habit
which OF itself begets proneness 20 both inter
mittent and remittentty types OF malarial disease
where extrinsic atmospheric causes exist
powerfully counteracted by this inimitablC
fortifying and defensive agent. which has
moreover none of the disageeable characters
tics OF n drastic cathartic or an alkaloid Fever
and ague, dumb asue aud ague cake, aud the
cdtenttrd OF the lsthmus, are conquered by Il
surely, pleasantly. Rheumatism, neuralgia
govt, kidney and bladder troubles, constipation
aud indig yield TO IL.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
No More Suckers in London.

One of the most prominent of Amer
lean promoters In London spoke of his
recent experiences in England while
he lounged against the railing of
the Lotus Club steps. He has
within a few years foated two brewer
les, lead mine, and several valuable
patents on the English market, is thor
oughly acquainted with the conditions
of things in all the financial centers of
the world, and counts that most pal
pable evidence of success, a huge bank
account, among his other titles for con
sideration:
Il am home for good" he said terse-
", land whenever / have anything
else for sale / shall choose New York
City as the market The English in
vestors have formed q notable field to
fish in for the last ten years, but the
time has come when the wise men quit.
The claptrap and hurrah schemers of
the United States have practically
killed the goose that laid the golden
eggs. Up to as late as a year ago a
man who took good property to Lon
don and who could show that that
property had earned an income on its
invested capital of per cent. year
for three years could easily sell the
property on a stock company basis at
three times its American valuation.
Now he could not sell it for one-third.
This is because investors have been
beaten so badly by fyaway schemers
that they will not look at things Amer
lean. L counted among my personal
acquaintance in the Victoria and Met
ropole Hotels In London no less than
forty-three promoters the day before /
picked up and left. OF course this
does not represent tenth of the num-
Der in London. 1 was tolerably we'll
acquainted with the schemes of all
these men, though some of them kept
rather shady. and L must say that
among all these men there were not
hree feasible and thoroughly practi-
lble projects. Promoters are now
)re or less recognized all over the
!. rid. 1t is usually necessary to have
.o-between, and the term promoter
II been given to the men who get the
III ltal for developing mines and ven
n.y. of the like. There is one thing
yer, that the promoters cannot do
ldon, and that is, push an Amer
sale, unless the backing is Won
- ~ and unprecedently strong. /
I'll a mine for twice as much
nd in one-tenth the time in
to-day than i can in Lon
Call Trrk Sun.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

warm weather, says writer. In that
country some of the streams are fankei,
by long rows If sand-hills, whose cont
position is SO 80 that they shift
about continually under :. wind of any
force. In the winter time the high
winds often blow the sand over the
great snow banks which lie upon the
north side of the sand dunes, covering
up the snow to a depth of several feet.
The snow is thus kept unmelted, and
even in the middle of summer one can
dig down through the sand to it and
find the best imaginable sort of a
natural refrigerator. In this way,
said my young friend, they buried their
deer and trout, and found they kept
entirely fresh so long as they cared to
leave them. This is certainly a new
instance of natures bountifulness with
the sportsman
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
Got Himself Ready.

"John Henry" exclaimed the angry
wife, you needn't pretend you're
asleep! Now, you listen to me. Tn
going to give you piece of my mind.
wait a minute, Serena" said John
Henry, as he got out of bed and CROPPED
his way to the boot closet.
What are you doingP" demanded
the exasperated Serena.
"Pm preparing myself, replied John
Henry, and moment later the famous
ex-catcher of the world-renowned
champion Sockdologer Baseball Clul
had lighted lamp and was standing
in his well-known attitude in the mid
die of the floor with his old mask
breastpad and leather gloves on.
Go ahead, Serena" he said, calmly
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

MANY Industries having been established
in the South particularly at the rapidly
growing city OF Florence. Ala. the Chicago
and Eastern Illinois Evansville Route) has
decided TO run five personally conducted
20. Sept. 10 and "a. and Oct. s. All the rail-
roads i'm the Northwest have agreed TO sell
for those dates excursion tickets TO points
in Tennessee. Alabama. Mississippi and
Louisiana at one lowest first class fare for
the round trip. Tickets will he good re-
turning thirty DAYS. Persons desiring to
join these excursions can obtain full par
ticuars by writing 10 j. Il. Morrell. Travel
ing Agent C. a. r. /. Il. r.. sol First Ma
tional Bank Building. Chicago. or 70 Will
liam Hill. General Passenger Agent.
CHICAGO
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
Not TO BE Caught Mapping.

Real-estate agent Showing pros
pective purchaser a tract of bottom
land)-You won't find another quarter
section like this within hundred
miles of here. Look at the color of
the soil. See how the land lies toward
the sun. It's cheap at double the
price.
Prospective purchaser-But isn't it
sometimes under water? Does this
stream never overflow its banks?
Real-estate agent-Overtlow Never,
sir, never!
Prospective purchaser happening to
spy a bunch of half-decayed grass and
driftwood lodged twenty feet above his
head in the fork of tree)-How do
you suppose that clump ever got up
there?
Agent Observation-Disclosures you
see the tree grows right on the edge of
the bank? That bunch of stuff was
caught there when the tree was little
bush. Probably happened year or
two ago. just as / said, sir Richest
soil in the world, sir !-Chicdgo Trib-
7I3lp
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
CONCLAyE; KNIGHTS TEMPLAR.
The Triennial Reunion to BE Hold Ia
Washington Cd. Co. Oct. Sth to 1lth
1889, Inclusive.


Washington Cd. c. Oct. Sth to 18th,
1889, Inclusive.
Tickets for this occasion via the CHICA-
GO, Rock ISLAND & PACIFIC RAILWAY. will
be sold at ONE FARE THE ROUND TRIP. con-
ditions ana dates Of sales as foilows: At all
stations on and east OF the Missouri River.
Oct. Sd TO 5th. inclusive. good for going
passage not later than trains arriving in
Washington Oct. Sth. and for return pas
sage TO starting point on or before Nov. I'd.
1883: at stations in Kansas and Nebraska.
Oct. 81 TO 5th, good for going passage not
later than trains arriving in Washington
Oct. Stn. and for return, Nov. Sd. 1889; at
Colorado points, Oct. LIST 10 4th, inclusive.
limited going, 10 Oct. Sth and for return.
TO Nov. 5th. 1889. Stop over allowed only
on return coupons at junction points east
OF Buffalo and Pittsburgh. Persons desir-
ing 70 go or return via New York. can do so
by paying SO additional. To secure sleep
ing accommo datons via c., Il. /. x =. Ry..
application should be made at once. No
effort will be spared by the Rock ISLAND TO
make the trip OF every person passing over
its line on this occasion satisfactory and
pleasant. For tickets or further informa-
ton, apply to any OF our representatives.
or address, JOHN SEBASTIAN, General
Ticket * Passenger Agent. at Chicago.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
Marriage

Is but the stepping stone TO those divine
institutions the family and the home. which
constitute the very foundation on which
our nation rests: aud upon the health and
strength of the wife and mother depends
and the prosperity of the family. Thou
sands of wives. and thousands OF single
ladies. drag out weary existence i'm con-
sequence OF perplexing female disorders,
in total ignorance OF the TACT that Dr.
Pierce Favorite Prescription is positive
cure for the most complicated and obstinate
female weakness. aDteversion, retriever.
sion. bearing down sensations. chronic
congestion. Inflammation, liberation and
kindred ailments. Guaranteed TO give sat
isfaction. or money refunded. All druggists
DIR. PIERCE PELLETs-cleanse and regu-
late the stomach. bowels and system gen.
orally. One q dose; purely vegetable.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
Copy OF Original.
VAN VERT. Ohio, July II. 1888.

VAN " EXT, UNIO, July IT, 1851.
Rheumatic Syrup Co., Jackson. Mich:
GENTS his is 10 certify that l had what
Is called sciatic rheumatism so badly that
was all drawn over 10 one side. My hip
sank in so that you could lay your hand in
the cavity. ana could do no work for over
one year. / tried some Of the best physi-
clans and did almost everything l could
hear or think OF. and nothing did me any
good until / purchased "A bottle of Hib-
bard's Rheumatic Syrup Of Hines az SON.
druggists, Van Vert, o. -Four bottles
cured me and have never had it since.
ALBERT KING.
We certify to the above testimonial.
HINES x SON. Druggists.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

JIGGERs-Darn an ignoramus, any
how. Wiggers - What's the matter
now? Jiggers-I was calling on little
Miss Pertly last night, and she asked
what the phrase "indulging in oscula-
tory exercises" meant. Said she found
it in novel. Wiggers-Well, did
you tell her? Jiggers didn't know
what it meant until | looked through
the Dictionary this morning.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
Sir Andrew, the Beggar.

When Andrew Clark entered Lon
don Hospital as an assistant he was in
poor health. "Poor Scotch beggar,"
said one of the faculty, "let him have
place; he cannot possibly live more
than six months" He is now, after
these many years of eminent service,
Sir Andrew Clark, perhaps the most
famous physician in England.-To-
rOnto Globe.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
The Homclicst Man I'm Thi. Town,

As well as the handsomest. and others are
invited TO call on any druggist and get free
a trial bottle of Kemps Baisam for the
Throat and Lungs, a remedy that is selling
entirely upon its merits. and is guaranteed
to relieve and cure all Chronic and Acute
Coughs. Asthma. Bronchitis. and Consump-
ton. Large Bottles. 90 cents and 81.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
Hibbard's Rheumatic and Liver Pills

These Pills are scientifically compounded.
uniform In action. No gripping pain so COM
monty following the use OF pills. They are
adapted TO both adults and children with
perfect safety. We guarantee they have
no equal In the cure OF SICK Headache. Con-
stipation. Dys psia. BIliousness: aud. as
an appetizer. they excel any other prepara-
ton.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
Reau,iful Picture Free.

For 2-cent stamp TO pay postage and
wrappinG) We will mail a panel photo
eravure OF our popular picture. kissing at
Seven, Seventeen. and Seventy" Address
bile Beans" J. L. Smith * Co., st. Louis,
Missonri
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
Preserving yenison.

of mine, who has for
seve. AS each summer gone with
his father on camping trip on the
south shore of Lake Superior, tells me
of a novel expedient they often en-
ployed of preserving their yenison in
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

WELL, my dear, what did you think
of DIR. Verbose's sermon this morn
ingr" why, / was very much sur
prised. i never knew before that the
apparently simple text he chose was so
hard TO explain.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

LOOK upon a library as kind of
mental chemists shop, filed with the
crystals of all forms and hues which
have come from the union of individual
thought with local circumstances or
universal principles.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

A WOMAN in Chicago while dressing
a chicken found a so gold piece in it's
crop. Poultry raisers tell us that
there is seldom so much money as this
in chickens. however.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

RECEIVE no satisfaction for premedi-
tated impertinence; forget it, forgive
it, but keep him inexorably at dis
lance who offered it.-LdUdter.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
Chinese Endurance.

Though a Chinaman is said to have
no nerves, he has muscle enough to do
some astonishing feats of continuous
horseback riding. -Four thousand five
hundred miles must be covered to 90
from Pekin to Shassa. a special Gov
eminent messenger will complete this
journey in thirty-six days-an average
of 125 miles dav. He is restricted
to prescribed diet. four hours sleep
per diem, mounts a new horse every
few miles, changes his clothes once
week, and, excepting to do so, never
takes his yellow mailbag off his back.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

IT is said Baltimore men have insti-
tuted the custom of giving afternoon
teas. This must make the ladies ex-
claim "Tea he"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

THE right hand thumb of hotel waiter
is most unfortunate. 1t is frequently in
the soup.-NeU Orleans PicayuRe.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

THE saving in clothing where Dobbins'
Electric Soap is used is ucenty times the
soap bill. IL IL no new experiment. but has
been sold for "a years. To-day Just "a pure
as in 1865. Try II. Your grocer has i..
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

Now WE know why Jap wears such a
panied look on his face. The japanese
cucumber is over three feet long.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

MISS EAsYCHATR daughter of a great
magazine editor)-"What has made
papa so glum for the past week ?" Mrs.
Easychair-"H has received contri-
button from an unknown writer which
is too good to send back and he doesn't
know what to do with it."
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

A SOLDIER, who can only afford a
pipe of clay, looks with envy on the
sailors hornpipe.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
Dragon. tho Paradise of Farmers.

Mild, eGuable climate certain and abundant
crops. Best fruit, grain grass and stock coun-
try i'm the world. Full information free Address
the Oregon immigration Board, Portland, Oregon.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

THE man Of whom society makes lion
is never inclined TO growl.--.Somerrille
Journal
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02
THE Rec AND THE Fly.


why do you work so hard, said q
fly to a bee, when YOU might live
without it? l get three square meals
each day, and yet you never see me
perspire."
No." answered the bee, as he
thoughtful,y scratched his head, Il
never see you work.
Just then the hv made an effort to
secure some food that was on the stove,
but missed his footing and fell into the
soup.
Il see you don't perspire, continued
the bee, but you occasionally expire. :"
MORAL.
The soup was not hot, so the fly was
soon walking around on mans bald
Lead.
THE ANT AND THE CHRISTOPHER.
"How do YOU expect to live next
winter without anything to eat"
asked the busy ant of a lazy grass
hopper.
Il expect to pass in my checks be-
fore that time, was the answer.
"But suppose YOU don't?"
"Then, said the grasshopper, as he
winked his eve, Il will board with you
so, for fear / may be with you all win
ter, you had better hustle around and
lay in a big supply of grub"
MORAL.
There are lots of grasshoppers. -
ChtcdgO Ledger.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

A POCKET mirror free to smokers of Tan.
sills Punch DC. Cigar.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1889-10-02

THE man who figures in an explo-
sion begins at the bottom and works up.