Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1889-12-28
A TYPICAL WITNESS.
What Mrs. Knapp Knew About mn AS
sauIt and Battery Case.


sauIt and Battery Case.
There Is no witness so difficult to
handle as the one who insists on en-
tightening justice by giving a recital
OF some purely personal matter utterly
irrelevant to the case on trial. This
style Of witness is usually female.
and the exasperated lawyers feel ten
years younger when she steps down
from tho witness stand.
A lady Of this turn OF mind was late
ly witness in an assault and battery
case which WIS tried before Justice
Duffy in New York. She lived on the
same floor with the Pattersons, who
had INDUCED In connubial fracas. II
was thought that Mrs. Knapps testi-
mony would throw food OF light on
the somewhat conflicting statements OF
the other witnesses. Mrs Knapp.
whose jaw was tied up; curtsied to the
court. smiled at the jurors. and having
been sworn. assumed an affidavit ex-
preston OF countenance. and waited
for something to turn up. IL may be
mentioned incidentally that the wit
ness husband was In court, and seated
by the side OF the lawyer OF Mr.. Pat
terson. who was being prosecuted by
Mrs. Patterson.
MRS. Knapp. what do you know
about this casePn asked the lawyer.
IL woke up of and on during the
night. and my jaw ached so that"
Lawyer-"Never mind your jaw.
Please confine yourself TO the assault"
salt is no good. I've tried bags OF
hot salt until the skin was blistered. :"
please tell what you know about
this difficulty"
Just so. Well. as / was saying.
when got up | knew ! was in for q
bad day. so says to my husband"
Madam" said the little justice.
blandly. I'VE would like TO get at the
root OF this NATTER
That's just what was doing when
you spoke. felt sure there was an
abscess at the root Of"
Madam. will you please tell what
you know about Patterson striking his
wife2"
in a minute. your honor. was
sitting in the kitchen holding my jaw,
and"
Mr.. Knapp Ito lawyer)-'That's q
lie. Nothing-not even the toothache
can make her hold her jaw"
Justice Duify-"Keep right on.
madam, and tell what you know about
the row."
Mrs Patterson came into the
kitchen. and she says"
Every body now became interested
and leaned forward TO hear what wa:
coming.
.'Yes. she came into my kitchen. ant
she says just what your Honor said
put salt on it."
Justice Duffy" Madam. / said moth
ing OF the kind. Your tongue SEEM
TO be like one of the planets. Nothing
short OF the power that started IL car
stop it."
Mr.. Knapp-"Duffy has got he
down fine. She Is like an old hen
When she starts 10 cackling she don
need any help"
Mrs. Knapp with scornful look a
Knapp)-'I Walked the floor for hour
aud hours. Mrs. Patterson says l.
Justice Dufry-"Well. nobody OK
pected you TO walk the ceiling 70
hours viii you answer the lawyer
question:"
.sOf course. Amt that what rv
been doing? Ny husband. who Is a
ways full OF fun when he isn't full G
beer, told me / had better come an
see you"
Justice Duffy-''See mef"
Mrs. Knapp--"Yes, he said ough
TO see somebody with pull. and 20
had the biggest pull in the ward"
Lawyer-"Madam, you can ste
, down"
! Mrs. Knapp--.'You don't want I
) hear my testimony"
, Justice Duify-"No. madam. you ar
/ not required any longer"
y Mrs. Knapp-"Well. this is prett
5 how-dc-do. Here ! leave the clothe
J | in the tub. and the breakfast dishe
E not washed. to come here aud tell yo
what | know. aud I'm snubbed tn
p way. It's just outrageous.
: Justice Duffy--"Call the the ne,
!. witness"
4 Exit Mrs. Knapp Indignantly.
4 traxua Siftinara