Morning journal and courier., 1889-03-27
THOROUGH.

What the country needs is maple sugar that will pass thorough civil service exam ination at all seasons of the year.-Detroit Tribune.
 One reason why so many Americans re- turn penniless from Europe IS because too much Hoyle is cast upon the waters-Oil City Blizzard.
 Clara (walking)-Whose poem was that you've just reads Isabella-Why, that was Brownlng's. Clara-I thought so. I knew it the moment I fell asleep-Munsey's Weekly.
 'sIn the accounts of the marriage of the Emperor of Chins," said Mrs. McCrackle, 1T see that his household comprises seven cooks and thirty physicians" "That's about the right proportion" replied Me- Crackle-Time.
 Mir. Upperten tailor)-Mr. Babooney, your account is getting rather large and would be glad to receive something on account.
 Algy (after deep thought)-If you will fix me up $70 suit I'll try to pay you $50 down. Texas Siftings.
 The cats, dogs, and poll parrots of England having been well provided for, hospital for fish has now been established. Fish are much exposed to dampness, and pulmonary diseases would naturally be most common.- Detroit Free Press.
 First coal magnate-"Say, I saw man in very moderate circumstances walk into coal office today, order two tons and plank l down the cash" Second coal magnate- | "My gracious! We must raise the price at ! once. e."-Philadelpnia Record. Mis- Perkins (desiring to hire colored boy | to wait on the table)-Do you think your | boy will give satisfactiona
 Mother of boy--He can't help gibbin' sa's- l faction, mum. He'll treat you same's if he were your own sonl-Texas Sifsings. Hold on, sis,;' exclaimed one of the lit-
 tie Rambo boys, as he paused at the door; "don't go into the house. The minister is | quired his little sister. Cant you hear ma talkings She's got her Sunday voice on." | Chicago Tribune.
 1 A good story is told of Rosenthal, the pianist. Silote, one of ''Liszt's favorite pu- pils," sent Rosenthal a note announcing the birth of his first daughter, adding: "She is already 4 weeks old, but cannot play the piano. Remarkable, isn't it?" Nothing at | all remarkable about that" Rosenthal re- piled. "You are 32, and can't play either. , ! Jewish Messenger.
 'Absalom !" called out Mrs. Rambo, in a 1 high pitched voice, as her husband came luna
 bering up the stairway at 3 a. m., ''you have been getting drunk agaiui This is the second | time since yesterday morning!" "Nanshy," mumbled MT. Rambo, holding | to the balustrade, "you're unzhust, m'love. l A man can't giddrunk twice in 24 hoursh. I'm-l'm still on the 'riginal drunk, Nanshy!" i-Chicago Tribune.
 l A Sunday school teacher tells the Listener l this amusing story: was teaching class | of little boys in Sunday school. The lesson | happened to be about the prophet Elijah, ! and the widow of Zsrephath, who, you will
 remember, told Elijah, when he asked her to \ take him to board, that she "had not cake, but handful of meal in barrel and a little | oil in a cruse." When asked as to the sup ply of food the poor widow had, one little l fellow quickly replied: "She had just meal
 enough to make cake and oil enough to start the ire.-Beston Transcript. l James Payn, the novelist, is editor of the Cornhill Magazine, London. Next door to his effice medical Journal has it's sanctum. | One day MT. Payn's door was cautiously l opened and pale-faced, long haired indi- l vidual entered. ''I have brought little thing about sarcoma and carcinoma" said
 the visitor. s'Very sorry. sir," said
 Payn politely, "but we have all the poetry
 we want. 'sThis isn't poetry" exclaimed the visitor. ''Is is an essay on two varieties
 of tumor." ''Oh, beg your pardon," said
 Payn, 'I thought they were pair of Italian
 lovers." The long haired man was wei
 known medical professor who had entered
 the wrong ofice.-Exehange.