Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-27

that were involved and the suffering
that was so heroically borne, in order that we
should secure freedom and unity for our native
land, wonder Tin coming to your books) that a
writer who processes to depict modern exist
ence should describe it as composed of banjo
playing and Irritation. Is that what you see
| around you in the world, sirf-nothing but
yachting and grouse shooting. and deer stalk.
ing, love making, dinners, balls, theaters, and
the idle diversions of the leaders Of fashion!
The modern novelist seems to me 70 be little
bells. content to fiddle and caper SO long as
society eondescends to be amusedl
And then on the Tuesday (et US say)
comes another letter-this time in woman &
handwriting:
Why-why are your books 90 invariably
mournful and sadf Why should griefs be torn
open that time had partially healed, and our
hearts be lacerated by cruel memoriesf Is
there not enough tragedy, and sorrow, and
misery in the world. that when we go for con-
ISOLATION and peace and rest to favorite author,
we should find not these-not these, but some
thing far different? Can the world be SO
somber as you depict it:-nay, from the moral
point of view, have you any right to describe
SO much unmerited suffering as existing?
And then, again, surely literature
should be joyous thing. 1t ought to be one OF
the pleasures of life. not something to be
dreaded and feared. Have you never heard
children laugh. sir-never seen them at play7
Have you never looked at field Of buttercups
q
say ne more-except this, that your writings
have reawakened in me an anguish and pain
that had fancied were lald to rest; and that
now, along with the memory of my own real
memory Of the tragic fate of-and ot-for
which you alone are responsible.
SOME CORRESPONDENCE.
The two letters do not seem to tally; but
an author soon gets accustomed to such
ole ~ fho
paans of laudation-which are perhaps
more welcome for human nature is frail.
Then what q splendor of leisure belongs
to the author as he appears to the imagina-
tion of the ingenious readerl The book be-
fore him has been a companion in hours of
ease; the writer seems to have been in no
particular hurry; why should he not be con-
suited?
DEAR SIR,-I purpose taking my family
to Europe this fall, and should be ex-
tremely obliged if you could inform me
whae the cost would be of hiring four-in-
hand coach to be driven from London to
Aberdeen, and also if you would sketch
out for me the most desirable route, giving
the number Of stoppages, time, etc., etc.
DEAR SIR,-You seem to think the hammer
less gun great improvement; may ask you
to state your reasons for thinking SO?
DEAR SIR am driven to appeal TO you in a
very grave and serious emergency. Ny niece's
husbands young man OF singular ability and
promise-has suddenly deserted her, leaving no
explanation behind him except q note saying
that he had been summoned away by 3 secret
society which he had unfortunately Joined. and
that he had to bid her good-by for ever. His
heartbroken wife has thought of you as the
only one likely to have any intimate knowledge
of those dreadful societies; and would you in
form her how she should set about making in
quiriesP Could you give her letters Of intro
l,,a
guide her in her search Please, dear sir, give
this your most earnest attention, for it is mat
ter oflife and death; and will call on you on
Thursday afternoon 70 hear what you have to
say.
Then (turning to another kind of CORES
pondent) you may have described in certain
of your writings some neighborhood with
which you have a long and intimate ac-
quaintance; and forthwith the impenitent
tourist-generally an American-takes your
book as guide book, and rushes breathless-
lv through that particular district, expect
ing to have the most rare and beautiful
effects in nature turned on for his delecta-
ton at 2 and at z, as if they were
luncheon and dinner; and, of course, these
things, not having been ordered beforehand,
do not appear, whereupon the outraged and
indignant cheap-tripper sits down on his
launches and h0wls.
But the most persistent correspondent
whom the writer of books has to face is the
autograph-hunting fend, whose ways are
dark and devious beyond description. The
lodges to which he will resort in order to ac-
complish his diabolical purpose are as the
sand on the seashore for multitude; and it
is to be feared that many an honest
letter is flung into the waste-paper basket on
the mere hasty and exasperated suspicion
that it halls from an autograph hunter. The
most deadly stratagem in this direction I
ever heard of was the invention of friend
of mine, who now confesses to it as one of
the sins of his youth. He wrote letter to
each of the persons whose autograph he
coveted, describing himself as a shipowner,
and asking permission to be allowed to
name his next vessel after the particular
celebrity he was addressing. 1t was a
fatal trap. Nearly everyone fell into
it. Even poor old Carlyle had no
suspicion, and, in replying to the bogus
ship owner, expressed the hope that the YES
sci to be named after him might sail into a
happier hayen than he had ever reached. 1
remember when was in America receiving
a very pretty and charming letter from two |
sisters living in one of the Southern States.
They described their beautiful home on the |
banks of the - river; they were, they In
formed me, living there quite alone, having
neither friends nor relatives to occupy their |
time withal; and it had occurred to them |
that, as I was certain to form a per- |
fectlv false idea of American hospitality |
80 long as l remained in the cold and cal |
lous North, would l not come down for a |
week or two to this sylvan retreat on the |
- river, that they might show me what a |
real Southern welcome was like? It was a |
most innocent and idyllic invitation Ito |
which, unfortunately, / was unable to re-
spond), and I was describing 1t long time
to Mr.. Bret Harte, when he inter- |
rupted me. "Wait bit, :" said he. "Didn't |
the letter 60 on something like this?" AIasl |
it was too true. He knew the rest, The |
idyllic invitation had been but an autograph |
hunting lure sent in similar terms to him |
and to me, and doubtless to a hundred 9TH |
ers. So perishes the romance of lifei
DISCOVERING RELATIVES.
Nevertheless of all correspondents the |
most to be dreaded is he who, recognizing.
Dr. thinking that he recognizes, certain |
scenes or characters in a book, instantly |
Jumps to the conclusion that the author
must be relative of his, and forthwith pro-
Feeds to claim him as such. In my own
small experience, 1 have thus been lowered
with SO many unexpected sisters, cousins
and aunts, that 1 can imagine what must
happen in the case of an author far more
before the public. However
i cannot frequently occur that a writer
should have whole clan thrust upon him as
MS relations; and this little story being
interesting as showing how easily and wide
y delusion may spread, propose to mar
'ate 1t now. Some considerable time ago
received q letter from Mrs. McV-. in
orming me that certain people and Incl
lents in particular novel of mine were
Known only to herself and to nephew of