The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1889-12-07


Tom is in the melon pstch, mum. mum. mum!
Bill is in the barroon1. rum, rum. rum!
Fathers at the counting room. sum, sum, sum!
Kate and Ned are ell alone, yum, yum. yum!
It is very difficult to find a key to sue
cess that will work without a clique.
~
Many who teach the young idea how
to shoot, apparently don't know that it's
loaded.
There are Elk public schools in Ire
land where the old Erse or Irish lam
guage is still taught.
s, *
The New York saloons are the most
liberal subscribers to the Worlds Fair
fund. They have already raised $780,
600.
The man who is most likely to get his
salary raised is the one who already
makes bis present salary more than just
enough. He's worth more for that very
reason. He's forging ahead,
Mrs. Eliza Dillisbaw, of Gainesville,
Ala, widow of soldier of the Mexican
war, is one hundred and five years old,
but she is still able to ride on horseback
five miles to sign her pension papers
each quarter.
~
A Cincinnati father fixed the big rock
ing chair in the parlor to upset If a
greater weight than l4O pounds rested
in it. On the very first night afterward
his daughter got broken shoulder and
her young man had his nose skinned.
~
A farmer living three miles southeast
of Akron has hen which occasionally
lays an egg which is solid shell through
out. usually after none of any kind have
been laid for several days Six of these
curiosities have already been secured.
*.
The young man is egotistic, dogmatic
and confident, because he does not begin
to suspect how many smart people there
are on the globe besides himself, how
many sides there are to several of his
facts, and how big world he has to
conquer, anyhow.
~
In st. Louis the students in the public
schools will be supplied with school
books free of charge by the city ia the
future. This much was decided in a
recent election held in that city. Edu-
Gators throughout the country will view
the workings of the St. Louis system
with considerable interest.
~
We believe that the apple Eve gave
Adam was measly prune. and when she
proposed sweetening the next one with
molasses, he got mad, put on his fig leaf
overcoat and s rode out of Eden with a
vow never to return, Adam being the
only man in the world, of course Eve
followed him.
A wealthy person asked the philoso-
pher Sadi, in derision, how it happened
that men of wit were so frequently seen
at the doors of the rich. and that the
rich were never seen at the doors of the
men of wit? cit is" replied Sadi, ''be-
cause men of wit know the value of
riches; but rich men do not know the
value of WITT
Courage is needed in daily life A
man must have courage to follow the
pole star of principle in all things. It
needs brave spirit sometimes to call
things by their right Names We are
not to condone covetousness by calling
it frugality, nor cowardice by calling it
prudence, nor wastefulness by calling it
good-heartedness. 5 @
, r. ia. .
We constantly complain that life is
short and time is swift. Ifone wishes
to know how long life is and how slow
time Is, let him take out his watch and
follow the second hand in one of it's re.
volutions. Let him then think that
since the same hour Yesterday he has
lived fourteen hundred and forty just
such periods, and that since the same
date last year more than half q million
such periods, and he will feel that life Is
rather long than short, and time rather
slow than swift. Il.
~
The Sydney On. 81 Reporter says
there lives ut Lake y Law. Inverness
County. an old man Ut distinguis she'd
name and family, and with an interesting
history himself. His name is Justin
McCarthy. He Game from the same Re
place in llelald tuAt has credit as the
birthplace " his u,mesake, the distin-
sguished author. MIR. cCarthy. Vi
Lake O'IllW IA nov one II 4 ,,a1rafaJ y s