The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-05-30

PUNGENT PARAoRAPHs.


What the American dudes need
most is the massage treatment applied
with a club. Minneapolis Tribune.
-"Give the boys a chance" says a
trade journal. Nonsense; the boys take
too many chances nov; that's the
trouble.-Brooklyn Eagle.
-<John. DEAR she said, ''if l were
to die would you marry againPr II
might, my love" he replied, ''but
should go triHe less recklessly than
| did before. Once Week.
We never wondered at the ease
with which David killed Goliah with
his little sling. Many better man
than Goliah has since fallen victim to
the little sling.-Time.
-Husband-"It takes you half an
hour or more to find your pocka1,
doesn't it?" Wife (sweetly)-"Yes,
about that. John, dear, but it takes you
longer than that at times. Epoch.
Miss Loyelorn 1.-THE professor
says l have the inventive genius"
Miss Caustique-"Perhaps you mis-
understand him. No doubt he meant
you were full of new wrinkles" IN.
Y. Sun.
Some men in this world are self
made, but good many more wouldn't
amount to. any thing but for their
wives; and their wives are not dis
posed to let them forget it, either
Somerville journal.
There is one beautiful thing about
the present fashion of wearing knee
breeches in the summer, It gives the
impecunious young man show to cut
off his expenses and his old trousers
legs at the same time.-Puek.
Health journals insist upon repos-
ing on the right side only and claim it
is injurious to lie on both sides, but we
don't know where they will find a
Notwithstanding set of men than
lawyers. Salem (Ore.) Statesman.
-Griggs Creating friend from out
Of town)-''This is the finest saloon
(hic) in the city, Brown. They have
an enormous business. / do all my
drinking here" Brown-''Is that 50,
Griggs? They must have an enormous
business. Texas Siftings.
Mrs. Henpeck Cooking up from
paper) see the question of easy
marriage and divorce is attracting
great attention" Mr.. Henpeck (ab-
seutly)-"Quite right, quite right.
Marriage should be made extremely
difficult, in fact almost impossible. -
Philadelphia Record.
Mr.. Henpeck (meaningly) ELLA
Wheeler Wilcox says all girls should
be sunny" Mrs. Henpecx-"H "HuhI
Most girls are sunny Its after they
become women and begin living with a
husband that all the sunshine goes
out of their life" Mr.. Henpeck sub
sides.-N. Y. Weekly.
| -Freeman-''Don't you think this
doctrine of infant damnation a horri-
BILE one?" Sours Slowly
don't know. used to think that way,
but since the Howler family and their
new baby moved next door to me am
kind of wavering. kind of wavering.-
Lowell Citizen.
| -Touche (airily)--"Whati Work
ing. old manP I'm just off for the dog
show Bilious lwearily) = '.What
prize are you trying for?' Touche
(angrily) y ''Well, sir, .'rm not en-
tered in the puppy list, at any rate.
Bilious (promptly)-"Thanks, awfully
That gives my pup walk-over. IN
Y. Herald
Mrs. Jason-"J "Jehiel, I've had tn,
awfullest scare. opened the door. .ant
found the worst-looking tramp / evel
, saw. Why, couldn't say a word fol
ten minutes Mr.. Jason-.Do yol
know which way he went? wouls
like to get his makeup if it had tina
, effect. "-Terre Haute Express.