Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-08-01
SOME WITTY ANSWERS.

Amusing Remarks Made In English Court
Of Law.
Our courts of law have furnished US
at various times with very witty and
amusing remarks, lawyers and prison.
ers alike being guilty on this score.
Doubtless every one has heard of the
1rishman who. in reply to the ques-
ton: Guilty. or not guilty?" said ''he
would like to hear the evidence before
he would plead" A magistrate in
another case was dealing with IA va
grant, and in a severe tone addressed
him thus: You have been mp before
me half a dozen times this year. :"
thereby giving him to understand that
he had appeared too often on the
scene. The prisoner. however: was
equal to the occasion. for he replied:
Come, now. judge-none of that
Every time I've been here I've seen
you here. You are here more than
am. People who live in glass houses
shouldn't throw stones"
Curran. the Irish advocate. was one
day examining witness. and. failing
to get direct answer. said: There
is no use in asking you questions, for
l see the villain in your face" DO
you. sir?" said the man. with smile.
'.Faix. never knew before that my
face was a looking-glass." On an
other occasion he was out walking
with friend who was extremely
punctilious in his conversation. The
latter, hearing a person near him say
curiosity for curiosity exclaimed
How that man murders the English
languager' "Not so bad rs that" re.
piled Curran; '.he has only knocked
an out!'
Prisoner at the bar" said Judge,
lis there any thing you would wish to
say before sentence is passed upon
your" The prisoner looked toward
the door: and remarked that he would
like to say Good evening. if it was
agreeable to the company"
Il remember" says Lord Eldon,
MIR: Justice Gould trying case at
York. and when he had proceeded for
about two hours he observed: Here
are only eleven jurymen in the box;
where is the twelfth Please you,
my lord said one of the eleven, he
has gone away about some business;
but he has left his verdict with me-"
This is almost on a par with a case
tried in one of the Lancashire courts,
when SERGEANT Cross was a resident
barrister in that county. The jury.
having consulted and agreed upon
their verdict, were addressed BY the
clerk of the peace: How say you,
gentlemen of the jury; do you find
for the plaintiff or the defendaat?"
What ssyn yo? l dunnot under.
stand" said the foreman.
"Why. as you have d cided, all !
want to know is whether your verdict
is for the plaintiff or defendant"
The foreman was ;: greatly en-
barrassed; but he IL ed: ..Whoy, /
rally dunnot know. ,ut we're for him
as Mester Cross is for"
Lord Cockburl's looks, tones, Ian.
guage and man Ter were always such
as to make one think that he believed
every word he said. On one occasion,
before he was raised to the
bench. when defending a murder
Or, although he failed to convince
the judge and jurymen of the inno-
cence OF his client yet he convinced
The murderer himself that he was in.
nocent Sente nee of death was pro-
and the day of execution
liked for. say. the goth of January. A.
Lord Cockburn was passing the con-
1emned man. the latter seized him |
BY the cow. saying: Il have not |
got justice. NJ: Cock have not
got justice. To this the advocate
,oolly replied: Perhaps not; but
Tou'll get il on the Goth of January"
Chambers e; vrnaL