The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-11-01
THE VINE THEORY DESTROYED

My husband is very fond Of beans, and
as l was out one day putting up the poles
/ thoughthow often he had compared wom-
en- to vines, and men to the supports on
which they climb. AS he is very fond of
poetry, too, and the next day was our we'd
ding anniversary, | thought how nice it
would be to surprise him with a pretty little
poem about it. So | went into the house
and began to write. But want to tell you
what trouble / got into before | finished;
here is what / wrote:
"As the vine unto the tree Is.
so unto the man Is woman.
He the strength which doth support her,
She the Beauty which adorns him..
In the gentle, blushing s~pringtime,
see the tender vine uprising
From the warm, protecting bosom
OF the earth. her gentle mother.
TimidIy she Uses upward
suddenly she feels her weakness.
Throws aloft her clinging tendril=,
stretches out her tiny fingers,
Till she finds some steady oak-tree,
And her gentle arms entwine it,.
Now here came my first difficulty. /
was writing to please John, and of course
| had rs in my mind all the time, and yon
cannot imagine how funny and shocking
it seemed when | began to tell about John
standing there like a tree, and of my going
to him first and stretching out my arms
instead of--well-it was so funny that |
laughed till the tears rolled down nv
cheeks. But | never saw a tree go out of
its way after a vine, SO | had to let it go.
"~Straightway then she cries upwards,
Seeks the heights he has attained 10.
In few short weeks She reaches
Heights he has been years in gaining.
Twines about his topmost branches
Throws her longing tendrlIs upwards,
F~inds-that her suppor has failed her,
Finds-that if she mounts still higher
She must leave him far behind her.
Then, with gentle woman's pity.
seeing that he cannot follow,
Leaves the goal OF her ambition
Unatfained. ana back turning,
Falls again TO seek his level.
| did not like the last lines. but they were
true Of the vine and couldn't help it. So
| thought | would make up for them by
some really pretty lines about him support
ing her in the rude blast of affiiction. There
was a strong wind blowing about this time,
SO thought would go out and look at the
bean vines, and the pole would figure as
the trees, and perhaps l could get an in
spiration from them. There were " rows
-one in which the vines Were twined ali
about the poles, and another in which the
poles had just been set and the vines
had not begun to cling. Well, they were
struggling beautifully with the winds, and
the harder it blew the tighter the vines
seemed to cling to the poles, and had just
begun to feel the inspiration creeping over
ME when there came a sudden gust of wind
and blew over every single one Of the poles
which didn have vines on them. and left
the others standing as straight as ever.
That just spoiled it all; for after that. no
matter how l looked at them. those vines
always would seem to be holding up the
poles instead of the poles hold
ing up the vines. | went into the
house disguised, and made up my mind
that there was no use in trying to write a
poem about it, and that there must be
something wrong with the vine theory
tho | wouldn't have John know it for the
world, he's so fond of it, you know, and
don't suppose should ever have discover
ed it, if hadn't tried to write a poem
about it-Ara6eIla Smith, IN Honaaa's Jour-
nal.