The Helena independent., 1889-05-05

medicine plain He went to bed
sassy and powerful He awoke penniless,
trembly and depressed. Last night it re
quired two policemen 10 head the process
sion and display which be considered him
self. Now 3 little child could have taken
him y the plum-colored bugle and led him
away 10 q quiet grave. / introduced him
TO a hero Of the CORY base ball field having
. mattress for breastplate-
Everything has changed in New York
since | lived here, except the quality of the
rum" said the solemn man by my side.
"The rum here was always good for clean
ing windows. Let US pass on"
Softly We stole out through the portal
through which so many had stolen their
way in, and going over to Broadway 1
stopped q car by placing telegraph pole
across the track. We then got aboard and
rode up to Fifth avenue. l showed my
companion DelmonicO's eating house and
looked at my watch, but he did not say
anything, so we passed on.
That report about me getting hot over a
81 shad that was bought by my servants
while | lived here is Incorrect" he said
earnestly.
And how dicryou know of the report 81
"Why, subscribe 10 New York bureau
of press clippings, which keeps me in
formed. / knew that during the centen-
NAL my name might appear In the papers
more or less, and so | get everything OF the
kind, thus keeping myself well posted as
10 the esteem in which / am held. IL is
stated that | was goaded by the severe crit
icsms of the press regarding my extrava-
gsnce. and so when found that the shad
cost 81 ordered IL out of the room. Such
was not exactly the case, and if you will
SET me right on the matter 1 will be glad TO
do as much for you at any time. The shad
was, indeed, So, but that would have made
no difference to me. However, il was too
gamey and asserted itself, / thought, in a
way that left the president of the United
States entirely in the shade. So order,
o 49, Ill. E...sa a~
$50, made no difference, for after the way
we lived at Valley Forge 1 would allow no
peace loving, paste-eating enemy of the
gov rnment, who allowed his lower-case
is 10 get into the IS box, to tell me what |
should eat. That's the kind of president
l was, and gave good satisfaction, too"
After plain dinner of horse dovers,
patties DE Foy grass, ragoOts, saddle of
Welsh rabbits, breast OF dodo, with &C
Gordon plaitlngs, POmme de Terror, do
funny giace and kafey O'Lay, washed
down with Cincinnati sec, with essence of
Old Virginia tobacco and cob pipes, we at
tended the sacred remarks OF Faust. and
Faust Is a singing play with sad and
searching passages in it, Ii was quite in
contrast with the sacred concert of 100
years ago, which was opened with prayer
and steel tuning fork. Gen. Washington
declined a box and we sat near the aisle,
where people could walk over Us in going
out between the acts To get their breath.
A great many people went out TO get their
breathe and got it. In many instances /
think they would have done themselves no
great injury II they had been unsuccessful.
If could not go out for five inmates and
get better style of breath than most of
them did 1 would have retained my seat
and the respect of those who sat near me.
AS we went out | heard Gen. Weshing-
ton say: II would like to stay over to-
morrow and meet my various relatives who
will be in town. l would also like TO get
front seat at the Metropolitan opera house
where | could see the presidential party
eat Three dollars Is none too much To
pay for seeing president eat, especially if
one has a powerful glass. | would also
like TO be here and see the mass meeting of
those whose grandmOthers Tilted me. From
press clippings furnished me by the bureau
l see that when 1 was not engaged in slum-
bering in a continental house in a new
place or establishing headquarters in
new place, was being Tilted by some long
waisted girl
But must not tarry, for l see by my
bulfs-eye watch that by the time | get
back to the Battery il will be midnight.
and | am then due elsewhere, as you must
know" just then a gentleman from the
dangerous ward of the asylum ran his arm
thrOuge Georges and steered him TO an
ambulance which stood at the door. 1
could hear the father of his country whOop
and butt his head against the interior as he
rode away.
This is the second time l have been
fooled that way. Once, years ago, a man
visited the Last Chance mining camp while
| was there and claimed TO be John the
Baptist, and before snow flew the next
thing. The man was not John the Baptist
AT ALL