Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-04-19
NOTES AND NOTIONS.
Many Matters of Much and Little Moment
Tersely Treated.

A TRIAL trip-From jail to Court House.
THREE certainly make crowd in monte.
GooD nature covereth smultitude of SINS.
THAT is sharp girl who cuts dull acluant-
ance
A TIcKL1sH place-under the arms. Of
course.
AN unreasonable joke-Last years spring
chicken.
CARE killed cat. Don't care has killed
many men.
THE new Minister to Jamaica will probably
be a rum one.
LIKE burst of sunshine is the smile of
consistent friend.
THE girl bursting with indignation must have
exploded with wrath.
THE man who falls back upon his record
should have a chair handy.
FUNNY that the man who is always bracing
up invariably comes down.
THE Allegheny Water Department will lay
Is miles of pipe this season.
Ice has already gone up 10 per cent in New
York. Iced drinks are still going down.
MARSHAL NEEDEs is to keep order in Okla
homa, and he better take his gun with him.
THE Toronto Baseball Club left for Washing
ton over the Baltimore and Ohio last evening.
GOULD still wants the earth but he will only
inherit the same little plat he was born fora
plat 6x2. ~t
THE fire alarm bell in Allegheny is not being
rung owing to the sickness of q woman in the
neighborhood.
Prominent Minneapolis citizens are COM
mitting suicide, and for the first time, st. Paul
hesitates in her rivalry. -
SIXTEEN ball licenses have been issued by
the city and one refused. the last probably be-
ing the Pittsburg ball club.
WANAMAKER is oppose to 1-cent postage.
There will evidently be no reduction in that de-
partment until fire occurs
THE only father of his country would never
do it again if he could see the petty jangles his
descendants are indulging in.
MAJOR E. A. MoNTooTH has been selected
to preside at the banquet of the retail grocers
at the Seventh Avenue Hotel
RUSSELL HARRISON says red ants annoy
him in the White House. He seems to pay no
attention to the numerous flies.
THE Monongahela Water Company yester-
day sued go residents of the Southside before
Alderman Schaeffer for not paying their water
rent
]. c. SPENCER, Consulting Engineer of the
Fort Wayne road, is examining the improve
ments made and projected by the Pennsylvania
Company.
ROBERT NELLIE, an old soldier and men,
Der of Post 1852 G. A R., was buried yesterday
The services were held at his home on Isabella
street. Allegheny.
LIEUTENANT ROBERTSON, of Fort Smith,
Ark, passed through the city yesterday, bound
for Oklahoma to see the fun. He does not ex-
pect any bloodshed.
ROBERT RAY and Emma Miller were COM
mitted to iail yesterday for hearing to-mor.
row before Magistrate Gripp on q charge of
selling liquor without license.
FRANK ELMoRE, of Engine Company No. 2
is receiving deserved praise for his nerve in
rescuing Teddy Sullivan from being smothered
70 death in the Erin street trench.
Russ HARRISON announced that he was
going to engage in journalism ''up 70 the mech, /"
and Montana Typographical Union gave it
to him in the neck just for a starter
SHAKEsPEARE-Yes, William was undoubt-
edly fatalist His There is tide in the
affairs of men," etc. and There is a divinity
that shapes our end, etc, shows that plainly.
THE woman who left the baby on the steps of
the house, No. SO Arch street, Allegheny, on
Wednesday night, was arrested yesterday ThN
father Of the child will probably be arrested
to-day.
HALL COLEMAN was impersonating an Off
Ger, and glistening pair of bracelets usually
brought out liberal donations. He tried to
buy Roger O'Mara with $40, but missed il, and
went up for 80 days.
BISHOP PHELAN has requested that, re-
ligious services in all the Catholic churches Of
the diocese be held on April 30 in commemora-
ton of Washington's inauguration. The mass
will be said at o'clock
AN editor in the wild and woolly West comes
back at the effete East in this manner: 'If
Pittsburg can show her visitors a bigger fool
than the natural gas enthusiast we want to see
him"-well, use pocket mirror.
THE Rev. W. A. Robinson, who is now pas
tor in Cleveland, O., but who formerly oficiated
at the North Avenue NJ. E. Church, will ad-
dress his old congregation tonight on the SUBJ
ject of constitutional amendment.
PASSENGER AGENT PoTT of the Chicago
Milwaukee and St. Paul road, is authority for
the statement that party of 30 farmers near
Harrisburg will start to-day for Oklahoma
armed to the teeth with rifles and reviewers.
THE Bellevernon road has Just completed ar
rangements by which their passenger trains
are run across the river at Rankin from the
"Pemickey" to the Baltimore and Ohio road
and their passengers are landed nearer to the
heart of the city.
THE dudes can dudle if they wish, the mash
can keep on mashing. the girl can gurgle on
the street. the fashion girl keep flashing. The
man may mangle the English tongue, the kid
| can keep on kidding. The weather will be fair
and Wig-well he can keep on wigging.
A WOMAN so years old told Assistant Con-
troller Reed she wanted to pay her taxes The
| woman was shown the proper officer, and, after
| a mysterious Seance with scrub woman, took
| off her jacket and triumphantly paid $50
taxes in gold taken from belt around her
| waist
THOSE dear East End girls say the new cleo
trio lights are just nuisance, and the boys are
| disgusted. What's the use of taking long
moonlight walk when there is no moon, but
| the electric lights shed a dazzling glory over
the scene that keeps the loving couple at arms
| length.
EDISON fears that the coming flying machine
will make crime multiply where escape Is GER
tain. Tom forgets that some wise power has
never yet given poison without an antidote,
or a weapon without defense, The man who
has flying machine need not hesitate to fall
| and break his neck, for fear of hurting Edi-
! sons feelings.
THE impression is growing among the know
| ing that the only result of these exhibition
| games is to allow the PIttsburg's to make an
exhibition of themselves and cause the ma
tional game to fall fiat. stale and Improbable.
| Besides that, what billiard expert. what keen
| debater. or what sensible man would call it
practice" to war with an inferior opponent.
SOMETIMES the new graphophones are funny.
| The editor had talked beautiful and flowing
| period into the machine and the boy who
| grinds it out into type-written manuscript
brought this back: "0f all the brilliant editors
who have been prominently mentioned for
high POSITIONS the rejected II alstead is the only
| one who still exercises the privilege of clean
feet" lIt should have been privilege of free
| specify
WITH A PENKKIFE.
A Man Cuts His Throat While Suffering