davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-08

Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder,
She burst while drinking seidlitz powder
Called from this world to her heavenly rest,
She should have waited till it effervesced.
From Indiana we have this laconic
rhyme:
Here lie L
Killed by a sky
Rocket in my eye.
The following doggerel appears on the
tomb of youngster who died from an
over-feed of unripe cherries;
a cherry incompletely ripe
lis little business did for him.
And now serenely free from grippe
He is bobtailed cherubIm.
The next stanza is taken from the
do not seem to have been Indifferent to
the almighty dollar:
Beneath this stone our baby laws.
He neither cries or hollers;
He lived just one and twenty days,
And cost US forty dollars.
The following curiosity of literature
comes from California, bearing date pre-
vious to the gold fever As the defunct
John Jmith, or his executor, does not
even give his nationality, though so par
ticular in describing the sort of ''pistilP'
by which he met his 'deth. it may not
be an easy matter to place him:
In Memory ov
John Smith. who met
Wierlent deth near this spot
Is hundred and 40 too. He was shot
by his own pistili;
1t was not one of the new kind,
but old fashioned
brass barrel and of such is the
Kingdom of Heaven.
A money-lender of San Francisco
sleeps below the following stanza:
Here lies old tbirty-ive per cent.
The more he made the more he lent:
The more he got the more he crayed:
The more he made the more he shaved
Great God! can such a soul be saved?
A sea-captain's tombstone bears this
inscription:
He's done a-catching cod,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-08
The Bigness of Hindoostan.

It is as far from Calcutta to Bombay
Is it is from New York to Denver.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-08
He's done a-catching cod.
And gone TO meet his God.
THEY NOW LIVE QUIETLY.

Some Western Characters Who Have For
saken Their Old Lively Ways.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18
SALADS FOR SPRING,
Healthful Dishes For Persons Whose 4
petite Reuulre 0emDtino

Hea1thful Dishes For Persons Whose Ap-
petite Require Tempting.
Many delicacies and healthful salads
may be made from spring vegetables,
which are particularly appetizing and
acceptable at time of the year when
the appetite requires tempting.
Asparagus Salad.-Boil two large
punches Of asparagus in hot water,
drain, cut off the tops, throw in cold
water, and stand half an hour. Then
dry carefully, put in salad dish and
pour over dressing made of table
spoonful OF vinegar. and a tablespoon
full OF olive oil, little pepper and salt
Set on ice.
Lettuce Salad.-Wash crisp center
leaves OF lettuce and dry. Break or
tear the leaves to pieces with a silver
fork. Make dressing of half pint of
milk, tablespoonful of butter. yelks of
three eggs. two tablespoonSful of corn
starch, two tablespoonsful of vinegar,
with pepper and salt. Pour over the
lettuce and serve Immediately.
Celery Salad.-Cut the stalks of white
celery into pieces half an inch long.
To every pint allow half pint of may
onnaise dressing. Dust the celery
lightly with salt and pepper. mix with
the dressing and heap on cold dish,
garnish with celery liones.
Kale Salad. Strip from the stalks
the inside leaves of tender kale, lay
on dish; sprinkle with pepper and
salt and pour over a dressing OF raw
egg. three tablespoonsful OF thick
sweet cream, two of lemon juice and
a teaspoonful of mustard beat all to-
gether.
Onion Salad. up a dozen young
spring onions, season with salt and
pepper. Take tablespoonful of vine
gar and three of salad oil, mix and
pour over the onions, then place a
layer of hard-boiled eggs on the edge
of the dish.
Spinach Salad.-Take two dozen
heads of spinach, put on a salad dish,
season with salt and pepper. Set on
ice. Take the yelks of three hard
boiled eggs, mash fine, add mustard
salt, pepper. with a teaspoonful of
melted butter, mix them thoroughly
and then with vinegar pour over the
spinach. Garnish with hard-boiled
eggs sliced.
Dandelion. crosses, turnip tops and
mustard all make excellent salads
prepared as lettuce salad. d.-Louisville
Courier-J Journal.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18
B. Z. B. Botanic Blood Balm).

If you try this remedy you will say as
many others have said, that it is the BEsT
blood purifier and tonic Write Blood
Balm Co, Atlanta, Ga, for book of con-
vincing testimony.
J. p. Davis, Atlanta, Ga. CWest End,
writes: 81 consider that B. B. B. has per-
manently cured me Of rheumatism and
sciatica.''
R. R. Saulter, Athens, Ga, says: 'B. B.
B. cured me of an ulcer that had resisted all
other treatment"
f. G. Tinsley, Columbiana, Ala, writes
My mother and sister had liberated sore
throat and scrofula. B. B. B. cured them"
Jacob F. Sponcler, Newman, Ga, writes
''B. B. B. entirely cured me of rheumatism
in my shoulders. l used six bottles"
Chas. Reinhardt. No. 2026 Fountain
Street, Baltimore, Md, writes: II suffered
with bleeding piles two years, and am glad
to say that one bottle Of b. B. B. cured me. I"
j. j. Hardy, Toccoa, Ga, writes: ''B. B.
B. is quick cure for catarrh. Three bot
ties cured me. l had been troubled several
years.
A. Sphinx, Atlanta, Ga, says: s'One bot
tie of B. B. B. completely cured my child of
eczema"
W. A. Pepper, Fredonia, Ala, writes ::
'B. B; B. cured my mother of liberated
sore throat"
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18
WIT AND WISDOM.

The smallest party is big enough
for friends; the biggest party is too
small for enemies.
Weeds are omnipresent; errors are
to be found in the hearts of the mos
lovable. George Sand.
Fame consists largely in being ig-
nored while you are living, to be re-
cognized when dead. -Harper's Bazaar.
1t is not by skimming the news
paper that man can get the cream G.
its contents ts-Binghampton Republi
can.
A man who does not know any
thing is pretty sure to tell it the first
chance he gets. Louisville Western
Recorder.
The one who will be found in trial
capable of great acts of love is ever the
one who is always doing considerate
small ones. Once a Week.
Mans character is an element of
his wealth, and you can not make him
rich in what he has except as you teach
him to be rich in what he is.
We are never more subject to at
tack from our spiritual enemies than
when in the garden of ease. There is
less danger for us when out in the con-
flict of life than when we sit down to
rest.
The days come and 60 like muffled
and yelled figures sent from a distant
friendly party, but they say nothing.
and if we do use the gifts they bring.
they carry them as silently away
Emerson.
1t is self-absorption that carves
wrinkles in the face, and streaks the
hair with gray. Kindly thought and
labor for others dependent and beloved
the living out OF and not in the petty
round OF personal and individual inter.
ssts-keep heart and energies freoh.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18
A DEAD CUSTOMER.

How m Old Cynic Prepared Things for
His Funeral.
"Did you ever have decidedly odd
customerp" asked reporter of an up
town florist. N
"Yes." said the florist.
"Who was hep"
"a dead man. It was a post-mortem
order"
'And what did dead man want of
fowers?'
'He wanted them for his funeral. !"
well, I've heard good deal of live
business men, but this is the first time
ever heard of dead customer"
II shall explain it to you. There
lived. three blocks from here, in a
tenement house district. a cy nical old
gentleman who spent his time with
his books and his thoughts, and was a
stranger to everybody. He was a dis
ciple OF. .Schopenhauer, and might have
been regarded as a harsh critic from
another planet who had been ship
wrecked on this little one-horse island
IN space and was sorry for it. The
only CLEAN of sunshine in his life was
that he hadn't kinsman, friend, or
an acquaintance in the world.
''One day, when he was very old, he
was sick unto death. To divert him
self during the tedium of dying he con-
trived a post-mortem joke He had
$500 which he did not wish to leave to
anybody. Though he was stranger
in the world. the idea came to him
that he would spend the money in
having the same kind of funeral that
other people had. He sent for bust
ness agent, unfolded his plans for the
funeral. and then died with a half
cynical, half-amused smile on his face.
THE agent ordered the coffin, en-
gagged the carriages, hired pall-bear-
ers, gave the minister few points for
a short eulogy and then came to my
store and bought the flowers.
"There wasn't a mOurner in the lit
tie church where the last services
were held. There wasn't person in
the church whom the dead man had
ever known. There wasn't a person
in the city who wasn't stranger to
him. But the coffin stood under the
pulpit covered with anchors, broken
columns, pillows, doves and broken
lutes bearing such notices as Good
by. Old Comrade. AT Rest Farewell,
Friend Still Remembered, etc. They
were the flowers which the dead man
had bought. l imagine there must
have been a sneer under that coffin
lid. l believe there were six hired
pall-bearers.
They put the odd old gentleman and
his flowers into the hearse and carried
him to his resting place. The car
riages afforded the tenement-house
neighborhood free ride to the come
terry. No tears were shed at the
grave, the pall-bearers got their pay,
and it was very pleasant funeral. -
N. Y. Evening Sun.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

THE question is often reiterated: rs life
worth living?" Whatever advantages some
lives may have for their possessors, they
certainly are Of little service to others, save
as they may furnish warnings against a
wasted existence. There are those who
gather no spoil in mental culture, and make
no acquisition in moral worth to enrich
their own souls Such people exert no good
influence, and put forth no power to help
others to nobler life.-Christian Inquirer.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

A GOOD average of character is better
than a lower level of character; but good
average of character is never reached by a
man who is satisfied with a good average
Only the man who persistently strives to be
at high level of conduct will reach the
plane of the average well-doer. An average
is made by the balance between the slips
and the successes. The slips will come Of
themselves. The successes are result of
effort. He who aims no higher than an aver
age, will be sure to fall below it's s.
Times
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18
Rocked on tho Crest of the Waves.

The landsman, tourist or commercial
traveller, speedily begins, and not only be-
gins, but continues, to feel the extreme Of
human misery during the transit across the
tempestuous Atlantic. But if, with wise
prescience, he has provided himself with a
supply of Hostetters Stomach Bitters, his
pangs are promptly mitigated, and then
cease ere the good ship again drops her
anchor. This is worth knowing, and thou
sands of our yachtmen, summer voyagers,
tourists and business men do know it.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

PERSONS subject to headache not arising
from acidity Of the stomach or over-indu-
gence of the appetite, would do well to
have their eyes examined by a skillful ocu-
list, who will discover any defect in the Wis
ion which is likely to produce the head pain,
and if so, he will give direction for the man
ufacture or selection of such glasses as will
relieve the eye strain which has produced
the suffering.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18
Disanna Of the KidneYg.

QUAKER GAP, Stokes Co.. n. c., July S, 1883
W. II. COMSToCK
DEAR -SIR:-Your Z 4. MOrAe's Indian Root
Pills have effected a most remarkable cure. NY
mother was suffering from kidney difficulties; the
disease had got so hrm 3 grip upon her that s1e
could not walk a step. bought box OF your pllh
and commenced giving her two pillG every nighti
before she had taken nl of one box she could walk
about the house. To-day she is perfectly well ana
says that MOrse's Pills saved her life.
Yours, etc, L. w. FERGUSON. .
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

t'THERE is a tide in the affairs Of men
which if taken at the food leads on to fort
une." If your affairs are at low ebb now,
don't fail to write to B. f. johnson & Co,
1909 Main street, Richmond, Va, who have
plans that will enable you to make money
rapidly.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

DIR. VoN BULow is very nervous man.
At recent performance he left the stage
in the middle of piece, and returned with
helper who moved the piano some dis
tance to the left. He then sat down and
finished the performance. The difficulty
was lady who sat directly in the range
of his vision was tanning herself vigor-
Ously
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

An Indiana girl hared up and fired
pistol at her young man because he
was half an hour late on Sunday even
ing, and he didn't want to explain
that be had been washing his feet.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

A MEDICINE prepared for the general pub
ic should contain nothing kurtfuli in any
lose. Such a medicine is Shallenbergers
Antidote for Malaria; it destroys Malaria
as water puts out fire, and is just as harm
less. Sold by Druggists.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

A YOUNG American lady went to Burmah
as a missionary and married the first
heather she converted. Now the Burmese
are bowling for more missionaries.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

EIGHTEEN years ago pane Of glass was
broken in the window of a house in Hamil-
ton, o. The owner lately got around to have
it replaced, and it was recorded among the
'great improvements" to the city.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

A HOT spring near Ragtown, Cal, throws
column of water nearly eight inches in
diameter to a height OF thirty feet. The
water is boiling hot, and the spray scalds
the skin whenever it comes in contact.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

AS GOOD feed as cam be given to the
young poultry for first meal is hard boiled
eggs chopped up fine. The bane of raising
young, thrifty poultry is the feeding of too
much corn meal, causing more or less dis
ease and at the same time increasing the
cost.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

= MACHINERY is driving out hand labor at
last in the nail working trade in England.
The machines have had monopoly Of the
business in this country for many years.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

CONSUMPTION may be avoided by the timely
use of Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar
Fixes Tootache Drops cure in one minute.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

IT is sad that Miss Kate Drexel, Of Phil
adelphia, knows more of Indian affairs than
any man in the United States, and that she
proves her sympathy with the dwindling
race by spending nearly s10C, 900 out Of her
own pocket each year for their benefit
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

HE-Qooking up from his paper)-"I SEQ
here that Johnny has got it." She-Gnter-
ested at once)-'Got what, Willlaml" He
-UHis gun"
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

EVERY thing is smooth sailing with Us
when we have no difficulty in raising the
wind
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18
Worth their Weight in Gold
Cured of Gravel.

CHAPANoKE, n. c.. July %, lS&
SIR:-For years have been afflicted with gravel
O after trying the best doctors in this locality
without receiving any benefit tried DIR. MOrse's
Indian Root Pills with the result that to-day
am Il new man, completely cured. | would not bs
without them; they are the best Pill ever used.
Yours, etc, WIN JACKSON. .
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

IF you are tired taking the large old fash
ioned gripping pills, try Carter's Little Liver
Pills and take some comfort. A man can't
stand everything. One pill dose. Try them.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

For any case of nervousness, sleepless-
ness. weak stomach, indigestion, dyspepsia,
relief is sure in Carter's Little Liver Pills
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

The tower Effel in Paris, at the Exhibi
tion grounds, is capable of holding, in Its
different landings, ten thousand persons.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

Instead of feeling tired and worn out, in
stead Of aches and pains, wouldn't yol
rather feel fresh and strong? Ii you con.
tinue feeling miserable and good -for-noth-
ing you have only yourself to blame, for
Browns Iron Bitters will surely cure you.
ton, malaria, weakness, kidney, lung and
heart affections. Tryit if you desire to be
healthy, robust and strong, and experience
It's remarkable curative qualities.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

USE plenty of carbolic acid at the first in,
dication of cholera.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

PITTSBURGH has the largest axe factory
in the world 1t turns out 5000 axes per
day.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

THE advancement of women has been
the most remarkable feature in the prog
ress Of Jaran during the last twenty years,
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

IT is great social mistake to think that
the best end largest fish are ''ln the swim"
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

LESS beer and cigarettes and more study
would be good change for college stu
DENTS
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

soMn Windsor Lock (Conn.) people
who forwarded 81 each for music box
capable Of playing twenty-three tunes" re-
ceived a large package on which sixty
cents express was charged containing
three fiye-ceut harInonicons
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

iF afflicted with Sore Eyes use DR.. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water Druggists sell it. 25c
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18
:, I1f7- =
-.--r.e.--x.f4z;vx. After 25 Years.

W, II. CoMsTocK:
DEAR SIR:-For twenty-five years have been
afflicted with rheumatism of the bowels; gave up
all hopes Of recovery; | was unable TO stand upon
my feet Mt times and compelled 70 sit and do
my hous-work. In 1885 your agent called at my
house and said that :" he could cure me" asked,
How7 he replied. by the use OF DIR. Morse's
Indian Root Pills" / decided to give them
trial and tho result is that entirely cured and
able to domy own work. All the neighbors around
hero use your Pills and say that they would not oe
without them. Yours, etc.
CELIA JOHNSON. /.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

Paine's Celery Compound is OF unequaled
value TO women. 1t strengthens the nerves,
in curing the painful diseases With which Wo-
men so often silently suffer.
81 per bottle. Six for IS. At Druggists :
WELLS, RICHARDSON Co., Burlington Vt,
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18

"I am now CO years old and have tried several
remedies. but none had any effect until used
Patne's Celery Compound. l feel entirely DIFF
ferent for the short time / have used it. / can
walk nearly straight, sleep sound and well, and
feel as though there was new Life and energy
coming into my whole system
H MYLIus, Cleveland, Tenn.
Huntsville gazette., 1889-05-18
Paine's
Celery Compound

Strengthens and builds up the old, and cures
their infirmities. rheumatism, indigestion and
nervousness yield quickly to the curative power
Of Paine's Celery Compound.
The sun., 1889-11-19

after the manner Of the First Division, and
with far more harmony and conference than
characterized the Commission OF Appeals Of
twenty years ago, which contained some
excellent lawyers but was never highly es-
teemed as court. The members OF the Sec-
ond Division enjoy one great advantage.
They have all had practical experience in
presiding at the trial Of causes. This ena-
bles them to deal with some questions more
intelligently than Is possible for those who
have never presided at a trial. One Of the
Nisest provisions Of law relating to the
Supreme Court OF the United States Is that
which compels the Judges to go out on their
several circuits and hear cases tried, once
every two years. 1t makes them better APP
pellate Judges, and we should like TO see a
similar requirement imposed upon the
Judges OF our Court Of Appeals proper.
On the whole, the Second Division has
begun exceedingly well.
The sun., 1889-11-19


| Messrs' hopert bouher oohs nave prouRht
out the Nc" lo'H Ae"'e' Ill ne" torm heheetorth
VIII De issued as sMeeh'pABe fanny paper protusely
illustrated
As one s'Hnces through the last numper IL becomes
apparent mat tue character OF the Le"Ver mas oeeh
Fa'her elevated thah fe'oiuuohHeu Mr. bohher
was inc hrst 10 make the contribution OF writers OF
| the higher ranks prominent feature OF popular
weekly ana win ths ehAuReS oi nhe inns appears 10
nave ueVeiopeu sun 'ur'her IN comparison with tho
other "iemeh'S ot Such puoiieauoha ihe Hdoer no"
aims 10 occupy even heher hsetary plane tnah mere
'oioe anu 10 appeA' W "iaet eirc'e Oh leaaefS ihe
Hoss famous iea'u'ss'' 'no o'u'ne Lt"Vs'' bueh az
were iurhsheu W h'ere''' oaneroiI DiekehS' rem
hyson' hohSiei.ow anu o'ner mashaes III h'eia.uie'
are most promhehuS fepreeheu III the Lea'e' Oh To-
uA" 'et "e ooh'en" NJ" ~ Tue same '',ho popular III
charaeter' esrs Heoe'' oonnor oons hA'e poems III
naha from 1ohh u. whittier anu anu James husseu Lowei
rney aso nn'o se'oin stn,. n.'' n manu- W hato'u
ffeuel'' i.E"oo'u GUAR "e'ps, ifot W w. hitohin'
anu o'ner "tmetS o' suo" .'''ho'on a frAhees hoaE
sou nurhe." hooe.' .oue e'eso, Auu nooeft "laht
iu' oo",e"ss Vi '"e He"'" .o' Wv io-n' "fSl "p'
The sun., 1889-11-19
Anew Candidate for the Supreme Bench

GEORGE w. McCRARY for Associate Justice
Of the Supreme Court OF the United States
in place OF STANLEY MATTHEW'S deceased?
That would be replacing one Of the authors,
agents, and beneticiaries Of the Fraud of
1875 with another.
GEORGE WASHINGTON McCRARY, as a
member OF the House of Representatives,
made the first draft Of bill creating an
Electoral Commission. His bill provided, In
plain terms, that the tribunal which 1t
created should go behind the returns-in
other words, that it should ascertain who was
legally and rightfully elected.
A few weeks later MCCRARY appeared be-
fore the Electoral Commission as one Of the
HAYES counsel in the Florida case. and argued
with great eloquence against the right Of
Congress to go behind the returns.
For the services Of his facile intellect,
McCRARY was rewarded with place in the
Cabinet Of the fraudulently inaugurated
President, and three years later HAYES put
him on the bench as United States Circuit
Judge for the Eighth judicial circuit.
II the Supreme Court Is still to be Wal
halla for the politicians Of fraud, and II the
'76 ideas are to be perpetuated as part Of our
system of jurisprudence then perhaps no
more appropriate successor for STANLEY
MATTHEWS could be found than GEORGE
WASHINGTON MCCRABY, the author Of "The
American Law Of Elections"
The sun., 1889-11-19
The First Work of a New Court.

The Hath volume OF New York Reports
has recently been published. 1t contains the
first published batch of decisions OF the new
Second Division OF the Court OF Appeals,
which was organized early In the present
year, under an amendment to the State Con-
stitution adopted last autumn.
The Court Of Appeals proper. or First
Division, as 1t has now come to be called
by lawyers, consists Of seven Judges elected
as members OF that tribunal by the people,
The Second Division consists of seven JUS
tices OF the Supreme Court designated by
the Governor to act for the time being as
Judges OF the Court Of Appeals. Tho judg-
ments OF this branch Of the court, and of this
branch only, are contained in tho volume we
have mentioned
There are 1T cases in all, comprising the
decisions rendered between March 10 and
Oct. 8, 1889. inclusive. or these, however, 80
are reported in memoranda, instead OF being
given In full. The largest number OF
opinions was written by Judge GEORGE b.
BRADLEY of Corning. who wrote 10; the
smallest, according to our count, by Judge
ALTON B. PARKER OF Kingston, who wrote
10. But the quality of Judge PARKER's work
is excellent, If the quantity is less than in
the case of his more discursive senior asso-
ciate, whose ready learning in the law
makes his pen move easily. Judge ALBERT
HAIoHT of Buffalo. who was the Repub-
lican candidate for the succession to Judge
DANFoRTH in the other branch OF the
court at the recent election. is member of
the Second Division and is credited with
thirteen opinions In this volume Chief
Judge FoLLRTT wrote fourteen and Judges
BROWN. VANN. and POTTER eleven each
1t is only natural to compare the opinions
OF this new tribunal OF last resort with those
of tho older court. The result Is satisfactory
inasmuch as 1t shows that the Second
Division deals with its work very much