The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-22
BRIGHT BIEs.

Mrs. PARvESU Ito new maid)-Now, Lucy,
you may do up my hair
Lucy-Yes, mum. Shall do it up in paper
or get boI1-BurttlIoton Free P,eSs.
A THoUGHTFuL GIRL-Husband- Your sister
Jennie has run away and got manufactured
Wne talnuyJ-What was she married in:
Husban silk
Wife (relieved-Then she didn't disgrace the
family aft = all Whom did she marry
HdrDer's Bazaar.
WHAT is that green stuff in the cream, Will
IAN! asked young wife, referring 10 the
plstachlo IN the conter of the form.
~, that s an oasis, my dear"
"A what?''
AN oasis-a little green spot in the dessert,
you know. - YonLers Statesman.
MRS GRATEHopEs-O, Henry. here is story
IN the paper tnat- Or, Brown-Sequard has re .lIy
discovered the elixir Of life. / wonder if it is
true.
or Gratehopes-It is probably a lie. Still, it
would be Just as well for you not to let your
uncle see it. ''-Terre .lGuts Cypress.
MA" said Young Hopeful, Il know some
tops that are just IKE the lilies of the field"
why are they?' asked his mother
Because they don't spin"
mother.
."4r-e,ops, - said he, as he wheeled around on
his hee!.-Detr 1t Journal
81 5aine high school commencement a
yodhS .e.y graduate read an essay entitled
me HorSe Trot of the Future" 1t is refresh
Z TO see young lady graduate choose SUB
Ject with which she i ia iliar. Too often Ter
essay is entitled 1.-THE True Aim of Life" or
Ihs Love OF Dress, OF which she knows
nothing. -NOiTist 10. Herald.
In STRANGE CofPANY.-Blooms- You no
tlce how embarrassed Fitzgibbons seemed at
the party last nigh?
Crumley- THat is easily explainable; he was
III at ease on account of the lady constantly by
hi Sido
Blooms-Who was ghef
Crunley-hrs w.re-Chicdgo Globe.
DRAMATIC NorE.-smith visits his friend
Jones. the playwright, and observes wi h regret
that Jones abuses his wife shamefuily, so he
says to Jones: "Wny do you talk 80 roughly to
your wifeYn
81 hate to doit, but am obliged to-"
How are you oblig d to?"
We'll. you see am writing a tragedy, and
nave 70 keep myself in a proper frame of
mind You should sea how skylarR with her
when I'm writing a come iy.-Terus Sif ilgs
"PARsoN," sail the 90 ID young man, who
was no better tia he should be, 80 ne of us
young men have organized a fishing club. and
we would like you to give us good teA for q
motto"
Il will, said the parson promptly Judges
xvi, TO-: Behold, thou hast Knocked me and
told les"
And the young man felt as a trout on q f 4ir
June morning who unwnrily mlkeLh lump
or brea fast and taketh fast hold on q brow
.ack which 1t doesn't exactly know how to
dismiss.-BUrdette
IT Had TO CONE OuT.-"Were you ever en-
ga Sed m train roobery?' asked the prosecut-
ing attorney, looking at him keenly
II was never indicted for tram robbiug. an
swered the witness, .vasively
That IS not the question" said the lawyer.
Il will ask you again. Were you ever train
robbery"
Judge" said the witness, turning implor-
ingiy To the dign,tary OF the bench must |
answer that questi ny
You must, answered the judge. And re-
mem or you are under OATH
The witness turned pale and his knees knocked
together.
Il suppose it's got to come out Is1ld books
and bananas OF the cars for a whole year when
| WAS a ~nl feil W" fatered the n1;serahLe
man. Chicago Tribune.