Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-10-31

" MR.. BowsER, HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING!"
second drawer of your bureau, where they
have been kept for the last two years."
ssI'li bet you million dollars to a centr'
"Come on"
We went upstairs to the bureau and
pulled out the drawer and there lay five
clean shirts, just where I had placed them
as they came from the laundry two days be-
fore.
.But they were not there an hour ago."
protested Mr.. Bowser.
'.But they were. How could they be any
where elsea In this other drawer are your
socks, neckties, cuffs and collars. Seea'
~ see, but that drawer was empty half
an hour ago.
Sand in this closet is your Sunday suit
See? Coat, vest and pants. Are you grow
ing blind, Mr.. Bowsers"
s'There is some dark mystery connected
with all this, Mrs. Bowser, and 1 will not
rest until unravel it. I spent a good halt
hour looking for my things, but not one
single article could find"
because you rushed up stairs and went,
into the spare room. just like lots Of other
husbands. OF course you did! Seea Every
drawer IN the spare room bureau has been
pulled out, and the clothes press door is
wide open!''
'.Mrs. Bowser, don't try to get out of it
in this way! Ny eyesight is still good, and
Wucu l. SCO OIL CiuPtJ uioWOh huCW IL ID
not full of shirts have lost an hour look
ing for my things, and now can not go to
the banquet"
He went downstairs and called up some
one by telephone and said:
81 can't be there this evening. Ny shirts,
collars and clothes had been mislaid by my
wife, and only found them a moment ago.
Very sorry, but give my regrets to the
boys and tell them how it was. Some wives
are like that and can't help it, you know
Goodbye"
The next evening Mr.. Bowser brought a
friend up with him-the same one he had
telephoned to. After q bit he took him up
stairs for a smoke, and as they reached the
head Of the stairs they found the following
notice on the bedroom door:
INSIDE THIS ROOM
WILL. BE FOUND y
MR.. BowsERs SHIRTS, COLLARS, CUFFS AND
SUNDAY SUIT.
DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF LOOKING IN
THE ALLEY.
On the bureau had tackled second sign,
reading:
"First drawer-Your hair dye, ETC.
ssSecond drawer-Collars, cuffs and neck
ties.
''Third drawer-Your shirts"
On the door of the clothes closet had e
third sign, reading:
ssYour Sunday suit is in this closet-first
hook to the left as you enter"
On each garment was marked the name
sscoat," west" and pants" and on the
wall set of instructions, reading:
81. Fling your hat under the bed.
so. Kick your pants over behind the
lounge.
ss3. Throw your vest behind the wash
stand and your coat on the floor.
80. In removing the buttons from your
shirt, jerk and TWIST from left to right anC
back again. This will enlarge the button
holes.
ss5. If you drop one of the buttons, jump
up and down and cuss and declare that you
have been one button short all the week.
SO. If the button-holes in your collar arr
too large, kick over a chair and declars
small, kick over two chairs and lay it t.
me.
's7 In changing your clothes, get your
suspenders twisted, leave your shir
punched up IT the shoulders, and snapon a:
many buttons as possible"
had intended those signs for Mr.. Bow
ser's eyes alone, and fully expected q Ma
tional calamity when he came down an,
babe his friend goodnight. I was disap
pointed, however. He looked at me benign
~, walked up and down for awhile ant
then observed:
ssMrs Bowser, before we were married
had q long talk with your mother."
Eyes"
tsShe told me that you had never BEEF
called upon to exercise Judgment or respon
sibility, and that would find you yer.
great burden"
ssEut I agreed to bear with you and b
uatient, and 80 Ishall. Twenty Years henc
YOU may know something about Aousekeep
ing and Wife's duty towards her husband'