davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26
UNCLE SETH ON MARRIAGE

VIC nSed two,score NV years in peace with my
good wife Sophrony.
an now see the papers u dcnouncin' matri.
mony: -A"''''
iney say mcrrige Is failure-but I pue.. ,hev
haint been perried.
1nem editor o.d batchelders should be killed
on az. suried!
So p.rrige is q failure, hey. some journalistic
searcher
bimeby will publish to the world the cussed-
ness OF vircher.
Wy don't they say the human race hez failed
an missed its mission, -.
An tell us Heaven is Hades an true Paradise
perdition:
wy ven We were in orr honeymoon, we waded
tnro the sunny.
sweet Medders Of Eorgetfulness, whose brooks
we're filled With honey
1nro tie Ne iders OF Forgetfulness each roamed
AN vs. wuz one long fragrant bre,h er colun.
bine an clover:
An wen the rosy baby come he give our joys
expansion
A red star in wife blankets dropped, from Gods
celestial mansion
Told the merrige wuz a failure then ye'd never
gone no furder.
For in the ravn's OF my wrath, I'd Jest commit
Veu murder.
An the twins were like two dimou' pins To
hitch our souls together
They jes; split sunshine tbro' the house, in suy
kin er weather.
SO merrise is a failrre, then-jest let ne Ian a
minute
Wy, Heave., with all its sams nm. times an,
harps an things. is in it!
Wot's thats 'Ain't there no rows an SIGH, to
break our high communin"
I'VE ever see tiddle- string what never needed
tunin's
yer gether twics up with ger hay, an git dirt
with yer rakin,.
An tears are sometimes jest the yeast to put
into life's 0axin'i
But AFTER all, tell ye true, . man what isn't
merrfed,
Should walk down to the cofrin shop, an hire
himself buried;
He misses all the wine er life an drinks its
muddy water.
An civilized surciety shouldn't show him any
quarter!
s. W. FOes in Ydnkse Made
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26

An old gentleman living on the
West Side entered the connubial state
for the fourth time not long since.
During the ceremony sobs were heard
in an adjoining room. which led guest
to inquire what was the matter. where
upon . little boy answered: 1T il
only Maria. She always cries whe-
papa gels married. "-Ch:ago Tribune.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26

-Blink-.'Struck it, by Jove! Trav.
eled in elevators for ten yeara Never
struck one before waiting at the floor ]
wanted to leave. Ninth door. please. ~
Elevator Boy-'.Elevator stuck. Ain|
running to-day."-Txe Cdrtoem.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26

Over the desk Of . bright young
man who handles other peoples money
In one of Chicago's big banks. Is the
placard "Do not ask questions when
you see am busy with figures; If you
are tempted to do SO. please remember
that there is nothing SO deaf - IN
adder"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26

"A poor. aged parson was carefully
attended by the irritable doctor. When
the preacher had sufficiently recovered
to dispense with further medical atten-
ton he asked for his bill. "Your
bill? Here it is" said the doctor.
opening his pocket-book and handing
the minister's wife o ten-dOllar BILL
Lmerar1
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26

VSSSSOISS % UOUBUS OOsSsss~'"
1hs man who Is oppressed by the
sense of loneliness when he II not y ID
his associates. or in the whirl and
dizzy round Of society. who can not sit
down in some retired place and COM
mune with his thoughts. is throwing
away the dearest privilege Of his life.
With such companions as the past and
the future one can never be alone OF
feel alone. BY conversing with the
hours Of the past We can find out how
many of them have gone to Heaven.
and by conversing with the future learn
how much blessing or sorrow will
be scattered along our pathway
Christian Inquirer.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26
TO coRRFseonnEnr.

AM e00.on ions for this paper should he
rSSp.H.e1 ~ the name OF the author not
~ Ssesss ~ Tor publication. hut ms an evidences
SciE - ..as. or The part OF The writer Writc
Hy ga o0e side of the paper he raIti,u;sr =
IsHsnr - ewing names an: 'a.cs TO have ali
SssSks 40 figures pla,n an aii ,.i,,..
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26

CoSsuNPrlox may be avoided By the timely
uso Of Hale's Honey Of H0rohound and Tar.
Pikc's Toothache Drops Cure In ono minute.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26

TINE upper ten includes the winning nine
and the umpire.-Pvck
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26

II afflicted with Sore Eyes use DR.. 1soAc
rhompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell tt3c
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26

An EXTENDED POPULARITY. BTUscn'e ~
eAfnl Iroehes have for many years beon !no
most popular article in use for renewing
Coughs and Throat troubleA
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26

Borne - he wings - ~ W1D4
The miasmata, or serial germs Of chills en0
fever and other miasmatic disease ere d1o'
seminated beyond the plsce Of them orikin-
Protected BY aostetteFs otomooe ketteSSs
Won nav breathe them unharDe6 Other.
wise. aDprehend trouble. Not only mAlariAi
infection, but rheumatism, dyspepsia. con
sfipation, biliousness, debility and nSdney
Complaints arc successfully controlled ~
the great preventive and remedy.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26

SBEHIyD closed doors"-the sale OF bsa
On Eunday.-Bosi0s RssG -
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-01-26


poisoning from putrid absorption. in
gangrene, bronchitis. distemper OF
horses, and rot in sheep. It is also q
favorite remedy for founder with many
horsemen. but is greatly inferior TO
aloes. sulphate OF soda. or nitrate Of
POTASH.
can not discover that there has
been any attempt to utilize the alter
ant effects OF salt, except in the treat
ment of those hopeless diseases
CHAMBERS and iarcy. 1t would seem.
however. that it might prove useful in
some OF the many diseases for which
arsenic, iodine and bromine. and their
compounds. arc now prescribed, par
ticularly in chronic diseases Of the
skin; and, II not lscd alone. liberal
allowance of II in connection with
such agents could hardly fail to prove
beneficial.
Finally, rs a purgative for ruminat-
ing animals, salt is believed by many
To be the most valuable agent at Oul
command. II il more prompt and
powerful than the other saline purga'
tives; it produces intense thirst, caus.
ing the animal to drink large quaint
ties of liquids. and this is of the greatest
benefit in many OF the diseases OF these
animals. particularly in impaction Of
the stomachs, constipation. etc. Bland
liouids. such as decoctiOn of carrots,
whitened with nour, are preferable to
water alone; but. when these arc moi
at hand. water slightly warmed and
whitened with -four answers every pur
pose. Under no circumstances mus
the animal be deprived OF drink
after receivirga purgative dose Of salt
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22
Humorous Girl Students.
REBUKED FOR FLIRTING, THEY ATTEND PRAYERS
ATTIRED AS MINIS

REBUKED FOR FLIRTING, THEY ATTEND PRAYERS
ALTERED AS NUNS.
A special to the New York Herald from
Meadville, Pa, March 81, says: The annual SEN
saton at Allegheny college, has ripened. An
important adjunct to the college is Huling's
hall, a pretentious ediice which furnishes
shelter to upward of fifty lady students-real
live American girls. The male students num-
Der something more than two hundred. and
naturally very friendly feeling exists be-
tween the inmates of Huling's and the other
students.
President Williams closed the chapel services
on Tuesday morning by remarking that the col
lege was not intended to be conducted as mat
rimonial bureau; hence in future students
would be expected to give more attention to
their recitations and less to making mashes on
the campus, or talking soft nonsense on HUI
ling's hall steps. The girls resented the lecture
and the law il laid down by marching into
chapel Wednesday morning, every girl attired
a nun. The boys yelled, the girls looked as
demure as milk, and the faculty held up their
hand in holy horror.
When order was restored President Williams
reproved the boys for desecrating the house of
worship by actions more appropriate to beer
garden. He was Kissed by a few students.
Huling's hall and the grounds bear such signs
this evening as calling Hours Are from $50 to
6:35." "Co-education Is Failure" &c.
The affair has created good deal OF local
excitement and half the city is shaking its sides
with laughter. The faculty is very mad at the
students who Kissed President Williams.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22
Name. |
Washington Stock Exchange,

The following changes from yesterdays quota
tons ON the Washington Stock Exchange are noted
to-day: I. S. ANS, 1891. coupon. lo7z. bid,
10S4 asked. q. 5. AVS, registered, 1919 bid.
1Os1{ asked L. s. As, registered. 12ss bid, 1888!
asked. Market stocks, IS 1892 currency, IO9I
bid. Washington and Georgetown Railroad bonds
1O71S bid, 100 asked. Metropolitan Railroad
stock, no bid, III asked. Columbia Railroad
stock % bid, 80 asked. Firemen's Insurance.
4Ola bid, a asked. National Union Insurance.
49, bid, 19k asked. Arlington Insurance. 1897
bid. $50 asked. Corcoran Insurance. 81 bid, IS
asked. Riggs Insurance, bid, 81 asked.
Masonic Hall bonds. 106K bid ITO asked. Wash
ington Market stock. 10 bid, 1s1S asked. WASH
ington Market bonds, LIST mortgage imp. is,
1l6H bid, l21H asked. Second National Bank,
l5l bid. 155 asked. Great Falls Ice, 152 bid.
Real Estate Title Insurance, III bid, 123 asked.
Pennsylvania Telephone Company BY asked.
Chesapeake and Potomac Telephone Company
sos bid, s1k asked. q. S. Electric Light
Company, 90 bid, 10 asked. Washington Light
Infantry first mortgage 6s, 10l bid. Washing
ton Light Infantry bonds, I'd IS, 81 bid.
Columbia National Bank stock, $50 bid.
Washington and Georgetown Railroad stock, 20
bid. 235 asked. American Graphophone Com
pany stock, % bid, :232i asked. National Safe
Deposit Company stock, 24O bid, 252 asked
Columbia Title Insurance Company stock, 5h bid,
Is asked
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22
DIED.


thus city Grs SHfkH BRAzER R' BfRki. in M ih In
Funeral service. 4 All SOULS Church, 18th and L
sre MsTgh IN AZ pm Friends and
BRos NAN. On March 81, 1889, JOHANNA. in
FAINT daughter of Catherine and John Brosn1n, aged
Funeral will take place from the residence Of her
al O'Clock. Friends and relatives invited 70 sttend
a. cIEM dSds PR Easy %pT3ns March % 1882
Clements and only e6iid 81 sn S'i t; 81 s.
syPherd IN the thirty fourth year Of her age.
on sasay AZ .. RSn w
at Oak Hill at y. m. All friends invited
pA as,dsSe. OF 81 March Near a,SeF ISM O'Clock =.
MARY CECILIA DAVIES, in the forty fourth year of
Funeral viii take place from her late residence 1927
1lth ST. northwest ON Saturday, March 23, at O'Clock
FUNK On Thursday March 2l. 1889, At Tenley-
toSn: sAL u c, the wife Of VIM. Funk.
CANNON. on "Wednesday, March 90, $50. at 10 SO
O'Clock OF paralysis GILBERT CANNON, aged forty
Is there q sorrow greater than this
hnowing to mourn we press the last kiss!
Bea6 away ,a gently our fSther 70 dust;
BY his sister rim law, NJ A. CANNON
Funeral from his late residence ll2O Eighth street
southeast saturday. Leave the house at SO for 81
Peters church where requiem mass will be said At
MATTHEWS. On Friday. March 22 $50, at his
residence, 1900 street, at 10 O'Clock. STANLEY
Notice Of funeral hereafter.
MULLER. On Wednesday. March 90 / $50 NJ 3 20
p. m, FREDERICK j. MULLER, in the twenty third
year of his age.
Funeral from $40 street northwest Saturday ats
p. m Friends invited TO attend.
PEEL On Thursday, March 81, $50. ct O'Clock
p. IN, DANIEL son OF Rudolf and Susie Pfsil, aSed
three years and six months.
bud the gardiner gave us,
pure and lovely child:
BE gave IL 20 our Keeping
To cherish Undecided.
But just as IL WAS opening
10 the glory of the day,
Down came the Heavenly gardiner
And took our bud away.
By Hn MOTHER
Funeral from the residence of his grandfather.
Daniel Pfeil, 22lS 9TH street northwest, SATURDAY
afternoon at O'Clock Friends and relatives are re-
spectfully invited TO attend.
SNOW. On Friday. March 90. 1850, at z O'CLOCK
am, CHARLES W: SNOW, formerly Of Rocklsnd
Maine. aged eighty five years
His remains win be taken this evening from the
residence of Mr.. Walter higgins, 80 Massachusetts,
northwest to Portland Maine, for interment.
portland papers please copy.l
Miss SARA Z. THICKER, daughter Of the late Henri
and Cztharine ]. Thicker.
Relatives and friends respectfully invited 20 A.
tend the funeral from her late residence 2Sth
street northwest, Saturday. March 23d at O'Clock e
WILKERS0N. On Wednesday, March 20, 1889.
LIZZIE @ILKERSoN, age thirty-hve years.
Funeral from First Baptist church, on Sunday, at 4
O'Clock Friends are respectfully invited TO attend
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22

associate justice. When the late Chief Justice
Waite died the marshal OF the court assumed
control OF all the preparations for the interment
But In the case Of the late Associate Justice
woods the arrangements were made by the
family OF the deceased, and this will probably
be done IN the present case. A committee Of
members Of the court will be selected to accom-
pany the remains to their place Of burial This
will necessitate further adjournment Of the
court until about Monday, April 1.
A Sketch Of His Career.
Hon. Stanley Matthews was appointed in 1881
by President Hayes as an associate justice Of
the United States Supreme Court He was q
native Of Cincinnati, Ohio, and was born July
II, 1924 After graduating from KENYON col
lege in 1910 he studied law, and began practice
in Maury county, Tenn. Returning soon to
Cincinnati, he early engaged in anti-slavery
movements, and In 1S46-lS49 was an assistant
editor OF the Cincinnati Herald, the first daily
anti-siavery newspaper in that city. He be-
came judge OF the court of common pleas Of
Hanover county in 1851, was state senator in
1855, and lS5S-1S61 was United States attorney
for the southern district Of Ohio In March
he was commissioned lieutenant-colonel of the
twenty-third Ohio regiment and served in West
VIRGIN la, participating in the battles of Rich
Mountain and Carnifex Ferry. In October,
1861, he became colonel of the ffty-seventh
ONO regiment, and in that capacity COM
manded brigade in the Army of the Cumber-
iahu, ana was engaged at Dobb's Ferry, Muir
freesborough, Chickamauga and Lookout
Mountain. He resigned from the army in 1869
to become judge Of the superior court of Gin
cinnati, and was presidential elector on the
Lincoln and johnson ticket in 1864 and on the
Grant and Colfax ticket in 1868. In 1864 he
was delegate from the Presbytery Of Cincin-
matt to the general assembly of the Presby-
terrain church in Newark, n. j., and as one Of
the committee on bills and overtures reported
the resolutions that were adopted by the as
semby on the subject of slavery He was de-
feated as republican candidate for Congress in
1876 and IN the next year was one of the coun-
sci before the electoral commission, opening
the argument in behalf of the republican
electors in the Florida case and making the
principal argument in the Oregon case. In
March, 1877 he was elected United States Sem
ator In place of John Sherman, who had re-
signed to take the Office of Secretary of the
Treasury. He left the Senate to take seat on
the supreme bench
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22
The Delaware Legislature.
A COMMITTEE APPOINTED TO FIND OUT EXPIRE
TELEGRAPH, AND TELEPHONE EARNINGS.

A COMMITTEE APPOINTED TO FIND OUT EXPRESS,
TELEGRAPH, AND TELEPHONE EARNINGS.
DOVER, DEL. March 90. - Gov. Riggs
this morning appointed Isaac y. Fooks.
of Georgetown, insurance commissioner
for four years. Senator Collins and
Representatives Armstrong and Maull
have been appointed joint committee to as
certain for a basis for taxation what are
the gross earnings of the express, tele-
graph and telephone companies doing business
in Delaware. The committee is empowered to
administer oaths, send for persons and papers,
and employ counsel. Senator Richardson's
valued policy insurance bill passed the senate
unanimously this morning.
Senator Donahoe gave notice of the Will
mington council bill requiring electric wires to
be put under ground within two years.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22
J,HE WONDERFUL CARLSBAD SPRINGS.

At the Ninth Iuterp1tiOnG Medical Congress, Dr. A.
l. A. Toboldt of the University Of Pennsylvania, read
paper stating that of thirty treated with the
genuine imported Powdered Carlsbad Sprudel Salt for
chronic constipation disease OF the Nv
and kidneys. Jau9dico. adiposis. diabetes, dropsy
from yalvular heart disease, Dyspepsia catarrhal IN
rammation Of the stomach, ulcer Of the stomach or
spleen children with marasmus govt, rheumatism Oh
the Joints gravel ETC. twentysr were entirely cured
three much and one not tire ted long enough
Average time of treatment four weeks.
The Carlsbad Sprudel Salt powder form) is an ex-
ceent 4Isrcnf Ldratire ana Dtrettc. 1t clears the
eonJlerioB yuriaes Blood. 1t is easily soluble
Pleasant 10 take and permanent in action The genuine
rO,ct Of the Carlsbad Springs Is exported in round
bottles Zach bottle comes a light blue paper car
toor and has the signature "EISNER MENDLE-
son CO." sole agents, Barclay street, New Yerk,
Gu every bottle one bottle mailed upon receipt Of
one Dollar Dr. Toboldts lectures mailed free upon
application aul-m,w&f
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22
LOCAL NOTES.

The will of the late Dorothea Schroeder was
filed to-day She leaves her estate to her son.
August Schroeder.
Attached to the Southern express. which
arrived here last evening, was the private car
of Jay Gould. containing that railroad magnate
aud party who had been travelling with him
as far as Texas. The other members of the
party were Geo. J. Gould, Miss Helen Could
Miss McCaull. Samuel Sloan, II. G.. Marquand
and DIR. Mum. They all left fo- New York at
1l20.
The announcement of the approval of the
bond of W. G.. Taliaferro as constable was pre-
mature, there being an informally in the bond
presented
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22

The act of the Delaware legislature provid-
ing that all telegraph, telephone and electric
light wires in Wilmington shall be put under
ground by December /, 1892, was approved by
the city council last night. The council will
urge the passage Of the bill
In the Canadian parliament Mr.. Kirkpatrick's
bill granting reciprocity in wrecking in inland
waters OF Canada was passed The bill is an
exact complement of the American statutory
offer.
Most of the Fall river mill managers are in
clined to the belief that the strike will not end
for fortnight and are i'll favor Of shutting
down the mills to-day.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22
At the White House.

Two Of the later visitors were Col. F. d.
Mussey and Major Chas. F. Towle. When they
arrived the President was engaged in the cabinet
meeting, but the somewhat sober-lookins
couple was ushered into Secretary Halfords
room. Their stay was brief, but
the mission Was evidently huge
success, for their countenances were
almost completely hidden by understandable
smiles. Neither would talk, and whatever
promises were made TO them are locked Sc
curely in their speechless breasts.
CIVIL SERVICE ExAMrNArroS.-An examina-
ton will be held at the rooms Of the
civil service commission Monday, April
LIST, for positions of tracers, the va
cancy to be Immediately filled being in
the supervising architects Office. The
examination will embrace the following
subjects: Orthography, penmanship, copying,
arithmetic, and racing. The examination in
tracing will consist of two exercises. in trsc.
ing in India ink on tracing linen archi-
tectural elevations, VIZ, an elevation Of an ar
chitectural design and working drawings. Per-
sons whose legal residence is in the District OF
Columbia will not be examined.
The Commissioners have revoked the APP
pointment of Philip J. Hayden as private OF
class of the Metropolitan police force, and ap.
pointed William L. Ceinar to fill the vacancy
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22
ALL THE BOND OFFERS were accepted to-day
Whitelaw Reid's Nomination.

IT HAS NOT BEEN ACTED on, But WILL BE To-
MORROW.
The New York Sun and the New York Times
to-day printed stories to the effect that the
Senate in executive session yesterday
confirmed the nomination of Whitelaw
Reid to be minister to France
All the necessary details of how it was done
were deliberately set forth. and all that was
needed to make the narratives successful
as news was few facts. Mr.. Reid has not been
confirmed. His nomination is pending, and
would have been acted upon to-day had not
the Senate adjourned out of respect for the
memory of Justice Stanley Matthews. 1t will
be acted upon Tomorrow
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22
CouaHEEs To THE FRosr.

Take time by the foreiock" that raspins hacky
cough Of yours carries you where somany consump-
tives have preceded you Lose time; but procure
bottle Of the rational remedy lung and dis
ease-sCoTTs EMULSION OF COD LIVER OIL
with Hypophosphites Of Lime and Soda Rely upon it
thatA will afford you speedy and efficient aid Not only
is IL pulmonic Of surprising merit but 1t compen-
for the drain of vitality whichis most formids
BILE accompaniment Of lung disorders Besides arrest
ing the bronchitis and asthma.
tnfuses unwoned vigor into enfeebled system and
tends to I'LL out the hollow places in angular frame.
Ladies in delicate health will fnd palatable means
Of adding roundness cure robbed of its contour by
theinroad Of marasmus other wasting disorders.
scrofulous tendency may be successfully combatted
With it, and capitsl thing for feeble children
ocl5
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-03-22
OLD .'HUTCH" COMES IN.
Then the Shorts I'm May Wheat Get Wild
and Prices Go Kitino.


CHICAGO. May 22.-May wheat leaped around
99lls or a small fraction either way from this
price for nearly half an hour after the OPEN
ing About 10 o'clock Hutchinson came into
the pit. smiled sarcastically and went
ont. This was not the first time
that he went through such harmless
little motion as this. but this time the
sight of the old man seemed to infame
the shorts like red flag Haunted in the face
of mad bull. The shorts simply clawed the
air and climbed over each other in their wild
efforts to buy wheat. May jumped from 99l {
to 1917 in a fash, then fell back momentarily
TO 1905, and then sailed up to 1887
Every short in sight padded ashore ex-
cept Billy Linn. An hour after the board
opened the mark had quoted down somewhat,
and May was selling anywhere between .025za
lO3. The clique evidently sold enough wheat to
temporarily ease the minds of the shorts
and in the sale of it scalped out neat profit
The quiet did not last. for May wheat began to
soar again. and at ii 35 o'clock touched l.043t.
At IL: AS it stands at 1.04.