The morning news., 1889-05-07
BRIGHT rs.

BISHOP GULLEM-Miss Autumn, ] hear you
are an earnest STUDENT OF the Bi0le. WHAT, in
your opinion, is the most interesting line Of
holy writg
Miss Autumn (pronptly)-BehoId, the bride
groom coneth LITE.
NERVOUS OLD GESrLEMAS-Don't You think
IT'S dangerous Ir 50 many people to get in the
ferryboat at one tims'
Waterman-Dangerous sir? Not q bit on it.
Why, they all paid their money afore they
started. y Funny Fol's.
TIE Rev. DR. PR1s-Co you preach extern
pore, Brother Yslleroy, Or do you take notess
B other Yallerby fro n the south hp-Well, sab,
tnar was once a time | took notes. but l be
found it safest down in my de 9strick. to insist
on habln' de cash down.-Te1dS SUtings,
ENCOURAGING - "well. bow did you enjoy
yourself 10 the art exnibtion?"
'Oh, splendidly | looked at nobody's pic
lures but yours! You see there we're aways so
many people standing before ne other pictures,
and there was always plenty of room by yours.'
-F2te0eEde Bldtter.
YOUNG MAN docking over hotel r4gister)-I
see that Joshua Crawflsh of Crawfslville IS
stopping here. Where can find him: He's an
uncle of mine.
Clerk think you will find him on the ele-
vator; he's been riding up and down all the fore
noon.-HGrper's BdzGr.
Mrs n. PEcK-So you thought was an angel
once, did you!
Mr. n. Peck-Yep.
eh?
Mr. y. Peck-Nope still live in hopes that
you may be, though.-Terre Haute Express
WHAT has happened to your You look so
vexed"
Il should say So This morning I was lust
going to be an gry about something, when some
one spoke to me, aud | have beeA trying the
whole day TO tnink what / going to b9
an ry about, and I can't do it.''-Fhegende
Btatter.
He MIsQUorEp THE LETTER-"Sarah Jane" q"
said Uncle Abler. sternly. as he looked over the
book his daug lter had le on the tabl9. Il
never 'sposed that a child O mine would read
such wretched political rot as this:
Blaine the fair. Blaine the lovable;
Blaine, the lily maid"
why, papa, des,. =" exc aimed the startled
girl Just get your ectacles That's Tenny-
sons Elaine.'-Puc,.
PH1LASTHboPIsT-He here; stop that
What are you doing TO your little brot6er?"
Boy--Aint doin' nothin'.
Why does ne cry so Them"
''Cause toOked his candy away from him ~
But didn't you ha some candy, too?'
Yes, but ate it all up
But that gives you no right to rob your little
Yes it does, am a socialist. Toledo Com
BlercidL
PRoUp MoHEET.-MagiStrate you
ever arrested before. Uncle hastuS
Uncle RastuS-Yes, sab. | war rested. but I
war uisc9a geo; an L tell 20 20 honah dat |
war neDbah so proui in my life as when |
walk ID down that court room Tree an ionor-
alb man.
Magistrate-Then you were not proven guilty,
Uncle Rastus?
U ,cle Rastus-No, sab; dere was flaw in de
Indictment sab. -HdIper's Boar.
''HENRIETTA' said the dignifed Mr. Fantail,
why will you allow that young Poppiniay TO
follow you about? You know that he is an
empty-hea led ninihammer, without position.
without without aypta~tati0pS ,d
without a grain of common sense
Yes, papa, l admit all that and more but
you speak only of his fallings, his virtues u
do not reco snize. Oh, papa, if you knew how
beautiful Y be smoSes cigarettes, and then
everybody admits t. at he swears stylishly. -
Boston Transcript.