St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-11-04
He Can Tell the Kind OF
Drinks by the
Play.
Tragedy Is Tough on the Sa-
loon BuSiness--Melo-
drama Medium,
While Society Comedy Booms
Soft DrinkS--The Cur
tain-RiSeS Bell.

running at the Grand by the drinks Or
dered between the acts. i can stand
here any night without looking at the
posters or newspapers and tell you
whether comedy. tragedy or Ministries
are running over there, and whether
the show is good or bad"
II suppose bad show is best for the
business" remarked an attentive Gus
toner.
There's Just where you're wrong, re-
piled the acute lemon Squeezer. "a
bad show is just what don't want. A
superficial observer Is dead wrong. The
patrons of a bad show feel that they
have been swindled and can't afford
any more luxury that evening, and the
result is strict temperance. Some OF
them content themselves with going
out on the sidewalk and smoking
cigarette. But none of them blow
themselves in on tw0-bit mixed drinks
that give the house SO per cent profit.
But as very bad shows are few and far
between at the Grand we can't COM
plain on that ground"
"Now, with real good show the case
is different" continued the thoughtful
diluter of old rye. "a man that's been
to tirSt-claSS performance Is the best
kind of a customer, and it doesn't make
much difference whether he's married
or not. That accounts for the three sa-
looms here in row after the Grand.s
business. II he's family man aDd his
wife Is tickled over the show he knows
there will be peace in the house for
forty-eight hours at least, and that ms
chances of getting away to attend the
next prize fight are splendid. III man
is single and his best girl who sits by
his side shows every symptom of de-
light and gratitude, it is reasonable to
suppose that he feels duly elated him.
self, The-chanceS are hundred to one
that he will get his reward in last ana
loving kiss hastily snatched on the door
step, and of course he PUSHES out be-
tween the acts to jubilate and swallow
a Glove.
"Melodrama isn't as profitable as 1t
used to be for the saloons. in the old
style melOdramas everything Went
along according to rule, and a man
could go out between the acts and take
his time over drink without danger of
missing the whole show. Now things
are entirely different IN the melo-
drama line, and man has TO watch the
whole performance closely OF take des-
perate chances OF getting nothing Tor
his money. He may sit through the
three acts and see nothing but the hero
inc weep and the villain gnash his teeth
and chew soap. and then II the tired
spectator steps out to take drink. up
goes the curtain and the star of the per-
Torrance, a real live burglar. comes on
and blows up safe, or genuine muir
derer Just liberated from state prison
throws the heroine into real swimming
tank. If you miss this yOu miss the
whole show. and Of course it hurts our
business. When / see lot of men,
with their eyes bullying out
like Holsters, rush in, and l
see them gulp down a schooner of
beer and dash out again. almost carrying
the glass door with them, know that
there's meIOdrama on, and the exclts
ing scene has not yet been reached.
Comedy, such as is played nowadays,
is tough on firSt-claSs saloon. for It's
all heightened society, and after man
has been watching lot OF sWell6 on the
stage talking with an English accent
and foOling with champagne and oy-
sters, he doesn't feel it's cOngenial like
to come in and daily with plain whisky
StluT anu DldbC Va lLlN0 OJosNAo VA -
slice of corn beet. Society comedy.
when it has good run, always causes
boom i'm the mineral water drinks and
lemonade. think it would be a good
idea. as Pm going to frescO and reno
vate my place, to have some allegorical
groups painted to represent Tragedy,
Comedy and Farce nights as viewed
from commercial standpoint. Pve al
ready sketched off the designs" said
the cheerful salOonkeeper, and he ex-
hibited the spirited drawings given
herewith. "Farce-romedy was great
card for the saloons before so many fly
by-night companies ran the business in
the ground. Now it's not profitable for
ms on this side of town unless we can
get a frst-class company, for it attracts
a lot of hard swiperS who work on the
street, etc., and have to stand at the
door with club to collect from my Gus
toners. The barkeepers get their pis-
tolls cleaned and reloaded now whenever
a new farce-comedy company is adVer-
tised.
whisky business" said the ice chopper,
s'and especially if it's Shakespearean
tragedy-protect me from another visit
alton from such brilliant stars as Booth
and Barrett. Both are synonymous in
this business with bankruptcy"
"Why?"
"I'lI tell you why. In the first place,
these big Shakespearean stars come
high, and when people pay double rates
TO see them, go in their best clothes and
put on lots of style, if q thirsty man
tries to squeeze his way out at the end
of the first act, he gets such deal from
the fair ones whose cOrns he stamps
on, and the old boys whose rheumatic
knees he jars. that he sits still the re-
| mainder of the night. Then, IL a man
has his wife or girl, and they are logged
up in their very best. and he has on his
most gorgeous pique shirt and his high
est collar and his SwallOwtail or Prince
| Albert, he is likely to get gentle re-
minder to sit still, when he begins to
grow uneasy just as the curtain drops.
! Now sit still. john says the thought
full wife, and don't go out, FOR the
| Smiths are watching You from the other
side, and you know that Mrs. Smith
| started the report last time that you
knew the inside of the Home of the In
ebriateS better than the church, Re-
marks like these hold down the most
reckless benedicts as If their eoat-tails
had been nailed to the seats. and a
sweep of the eyelids or pressure OF
the pearly teeth on the neither lip when
| Adolphus begins to grOpe for his hat
stops the impetuous young lover, and
makes him dumb before he cam frame
the fairy tale on his lips to get out. On
Shakespearean nights myself and my
barkeepers generally go to sleep. I'm
thinking of having bed-lounge put In
for such occasions. But if the patrons
of the Shakespearean drama at double
prices escape between the acts, Pm q
double loser" continued the shrewd
publican. 1.-THE musty ShakespeareaT
drama is dry intellectual diet for mos
people, and they take drinks that would
bankrupt a diStillery. A man that
under ordinary circumstances takes 6
few spoonfuls of whisky in his drink
will think nothing of six-fnger dose
after the Shakespearean drama, and the
real hard drinker hoists his bourbon in
beer schooner 1 trust that the
Shakespearean drama will give Mime
apolis the cold shoulder for many 6
long day."
1 NJ nAod