Morning journal and courier., 1889-03-02

A woman in St. Louis shot herself because the world refused to recognize her as a poet Let the good work go on.-Pittsburg Chron- | icle.
 Wife-''My dear, what kind of bird do you think ought to put on my Sunday hatF' Husband-"Oh, some bird of pray, I sup- pose."-New York Tribune. Mamma-"Why did you tell me lie, JehnnieT Johnnie" Because, mamma, you didn't give me time to think up truth that would 6t."-Detroit Free Press. An Unfailing Sign.-Miss Westend- "And can you always judge of mans char acter by the way he laughs?" Social Philos- opher-"Oh, no; not by the way he laughs, but by what he laughs at.-New York Week. ly.
 Rich aunt-"Why do you bring this grass, Tommya" Tommy Because I want you to bite it." ''Why do you want me to bite it." "Because heard pa say that when you bite the grass we will get $40, 00."-Texas Siftings.
 MT. Jackson of Vincennes, Ind, came and told his wife that the coal supply of the world would last only 960 years more, and she fell in faint and broke her arm. She afterward remembered that they had always burned wood.-Detroit Free Press. Mrs. Talbot-"I see by the paper, May, that Mrs. Policy is still dangerously ill, but insists npon having two wings added to her house before she dies" May Talbot-"Good idea, ma. Judging from all reports they are the only pair of wings she will ever have. ."-Boston Beacon.
 When we chop the wood, draw the water, build the fires, wait on the milknan, sift the ashes and f1irt with the girl in the next yard, we are consoled by the fact that the German emperor is said to attend to the most minute details of his housekeeping. We always like to train in good company.--Martha's Vine- yard Herald.
 Didn't it.-Mother-t'Well, did you get that situation as office boy?" Little son "Nope." "What was the matter?n "Don't know. The gent is a lawyer, and he asked me if I was good whistler and told him was the best whistler on our street, and he said I wouldn't do. guess he must want g reg'lar professional. ."-New York Weekly.
 The Samoan Question.-"What's all this talk about preserving the anatomy of the Samoan Islands" remarked Congressman elect to member of the House foreign af- fairs committee. "So far as I understand it, responded the able foreign affairs man, it's saving the bones of what's left after the Treaty Powers have treated themselves to all they want" "Ah! see now" rejoined the new member; "a sort of joint p1otectorate. Puck.
 Too exciting. novelist (to strang- CT just arrived in Boston from Hayseedville) -'T like your placid countenance, sir" What is your walk in life?'' Stranger-'Me? I live about ten miles from Hayseedville, an' l raise chickens fer living with incuba- tors" Modern novelist-t'Ah, incubstorsg Methinks scent clue to a great American novel at last. Do ali the chickens hatch?" Stranger-"No; some of lem don't hatch, an some of lem what do hatch die" Modern novelist-"Die Horrors. I fear the literary materials to be found on an incubator farm would be too exciting for modern taste."- Puck.
 "only think of it, George! the Niagara Falls are fast wearing away"
 "Yes, so I've heard"
 "George, isn't it at the Niagara Falls where people-that is, newly married people-gen- erally go on their wedding tour?'
 ''1 believe so"
 'tGeorge, wouldn'tit it bs awful if the Falls should disappear before somebody who is dying to go there should-should-be able to go there, George.''
 A fond embrace, whispered words and the customary impediments-all ot which tend tc. show that she and George will get there long before the Falls take their final de- parture.-Boston Transcript.
 An old pastor in Connecticut, a prudent, spiritual, and faithful man, was damaged by a report from neighboring community that he had brought politics into his preaching. A friend visited the place where the minister was reported to have done SO, and asked brother in the church: "Did Dr. Ely preach sponse, .'he did" "What did he says" ':Well, sir," said the interrogated witness, more dubiously, Eff he didn't preach poli- tics, he anyhow prayed politics. "But what did he say?" still urged the friend. "Say!" echoed the respondent. "He said: Though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not go unpunished.' "-Methodist Recorder