Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-12
toned on the subject

s1ls.A s serfo1oT # he i is cues as
toned on the subject
He, the professor, recently went to Bar
tons Springs, avery nice bathingplace few
miles from the city, for the commendable
and healthy purpose Of securing one of nat
ure's restoratives in tue form OF bath.
Upon arriving at the Springs the professor
discovered man in the water engaged in
the same Iaudable pursuit He was fine
looking man, the one in the water, wearing
long Buffalo Bill hair and great straw
coIored beard. The professor asked,
blandly:
SIS the water cold!"
The gentleman splashing about In the
spring replied:
Eyes, the temperature is disagreeably
glacial, but the cold water is conducive to
longevity. You can doubtless recall the
language of Prof. Mackinaw, used by him in
his treatise on sHeat and Cold and Their
Relative Influence Upon the Human Body
Or sUsQue ad nauseans Trans5 de troid.'
"Ah, yes, certainly" replied the pro-
fessor, delighted to have found congenial
spirit; 81 do remember that work. 1t con-
tains much sound, logical reasoning"
1T does indeed" replied the man in the
water, vigorously splashing the cool spray
around his person. sit certainly commends
itself to the scientist as work of great
originality, impartiality, and possessing the
true ring of genius, or, in the words of the
great Latin poet. with which you are no
doubt familiar: sCuribus collie curantur t.
deum dd sun, pliiribus catdlcptic. -
'sDo you reside in Austin?'' asked tho
thoroughly -pleased professor.
s'No, am merely enjoying my midsum-
mer vacation, seeking that beneficial relax
alton which will alloy me to return to my
duties refreshed and invigorated by a short
season of abandonment to the seductive
wiles of natures true restorer. You re-
member what Virgil says: DE profundis
allopath terra infognita.' -
The professor WIS again delighted, and,
after giving the man his card, requested
the honor of his company at his house that
night for tea.
"You will be sure to come, will youa" in
CURED the professor, turning his horses
head towards town, remembering that he
had an engagement.
most assuredly," answered the man.
ssNothing would please me better than an
hours chat with you upon some ennobling,
scientific topic, something which would at
once prove as elevatlng and instructive and
be, to use the words OF Juvenal, sLitera
scrtpto locofoco jimplecute;;' hut, professor, I
hope will not be expected to appear in
evening dress, for my wardrcEe-''
"Certainly not, my dear sir. Come just
as you are-that is, not just as you are now,
Of course, but in your ordinary everyday
travelling suit"
The hour arrived for the reception of the
disting uished guest. The professor was on
the qui uire aud the front doorstep. An
apparition appeared at the gate. It was
man. It looked as if it had found q scare
crow-an old back number, last years
scarecrow-and had robbed it of its tattered
raiment
Tie professor disliked tramps, so, as the
ragged, Ion & haired tramp approached the
house, he shouted:
$50 away! Scat! I've got nothing for
you. am satisfied that you are Johns
town sufferer, and all that sort of thing
but haven't got cent for you. I've got
no wood to saw and nothing is lying around
for you to steal"
ALLOW me to interrupt you for mo-
ment," said the tramp. Il feel hurt at the
way you receive me. You should remom.
Der what Horace says-'Suavfter tn nsodo,
foriter In re, Tenus de Medict.' Your Ian.
guage is very different from what it was
when we met at the spring this morning,
when you invited me to take tea with yeu."
The professor was Mortified. He now
recognized in the tramp the learned gentle
NAV he had met at the springs. He said:
''My friend, the spirit OF hospitality
prompts me to ask you in, but would you
not rather compromise on a dollara''
"a dollar goes" said the tramp, as he
turned with the money in his hand to seek
the nearest saloon, calculating: $50 sem
per zcei beers, rnr !oopmi, coz vOmfca.'
A Z