davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
AlDhabetical Fare.

"Have you got anything here begin
ming with 'k' that's good to eat" in
quired new customer at a well-known
local delicacy market last Tuesday.
GLOW will picked kidneys answer"
replied the clerk, after q moments
thought.
"First rate. Give me dozen cans.
The kittens life is saved" exclaimed
the strange patron with enthusiasm. II
told my wife," he continued, ''that if ]
failed to send home kangaroo, dead OF
alive, before O'Clock, l should expect
to find the kitten served up for supper
in the latest Chinese style. But your
happy thought saves her. You see we
all got tired of eating the same things
day after day, and so last month we
agreed that during this month we would
eat up Cor rather DOWN the alphabet,
taking one letter day, with bread,
potatoes, tea, and coffee thrown in as
Staples. So on the 1st we inaugurated
the dietary system with bill of fare
consisting of apples in many forms.
aprlcots picked, asparagus, almonds and
the staples The next days menu was
beef, beets, beans, biscuits, buttermilk,
bacon and bonbons. The following day
we feasted on chicken, Goldfish balls,
clans, celery, cucumbers 60 cents each),
crabs, cheese, cake, crackers, crullers,
carrots, canned currants, canned cherries,
citrons, cider, catsup and candy. And
it has gone on. The fifth day would
have been fast day had it not been for
eggs, but we made an Easter of it.
Yesterday we dined, breakfasted and
supped chiefly on jellies. To-day your
kidney suggestion saves us from star
walton, while tomorrow we will grow
fat on liver, lamb, lobster, lettuce, etc.
A queer thing about our new food de.
parture is the number of things it has led
ms to put in our mouths which We never
thought of before. "-Bufalo Express.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
AntiaultY of the Reaper.

The first reaper of which we have .
description was one used in Gaul, and
described by Pliny, about A. D. 70. In
the fourth century Palladius gives
good description of heading machine,
Something similar to those now in use in
California. This header had row of
sharp teeth at the front edge, and the
heads were torn off, and not cut as in
modern machines. This machine has
now been reinvented, and it is used for
gathering clover seed. Little or no
Change was made in the earlier reapers
and mowers until the present century,
and most of those made prior to 1880
were heavy and cumbersome; conse-
ouently they were not generally popular.
The Hussey and McCormick's were the
earliest of the successful reapers, and
very soon thereafter the light running
American machines advanced to the
front, and have remained in the lead up
to the present time.-Nep York Sun.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
The Court Rec0nsidered.

Texas in 1887 had no jails, and had
just cut loose from Mexico, and there
were but three modes of punishment,
small whipping, large whipping and
branding for minor crimes. For MUIR
der, horse stealing and forgery death.
was soldier in General lIouston's
army and recall one instance of horse
stealing, where the guilty party was per-
mltted to escape. 1t was in Montgomery
County in 1851. The man was tried,
found guilty, put upon the horse he had
stolen. his legs tied under the horse and
he was led out to the edge of the timber
by some twenty or more of the members
of the court" all mounted and armed.
Arriving at the end of the timbers, all
dismounted, except the prisoner, and set
ting their ri'es against the side of q log,
commenced looking around for a suit
able gallows tree. One of the party dis
covered, some 200 yards out in the prai-
RE, such tree with large limb grow
ing at right angles to the trunk, some
twenty feet from the ground. He re-
marked that the Lord had planted it
there to hang our horse thief on.
Agreed, and the whole party walked,
Leaving guns and horses behind, leading
the condemned man still tied to the
horse. 1t was found hard to climb the
tree. The discover of it asked for
boost" Being large, fat man, it took
all that could get around him to give the
boost, but they did it, and he
climbed to the limb. One end
of the rope was around the
prisoners neck; to get the other end
fast to the limb was the task set for the
man up the tree. After several throws he
caught the rope, but the limb was so large
that it could not be easily brought around
to hand, and unless the end was caught
under the rope could not be tied. The
big man, ly ng on his bi east, holding the
main part of the rope in one hand, with
the other tried to throw under the limb,
but every time failed to catch the end.
The committeeman below all had their
eyes on him, looking up. The prisoner
at the other end of the rope was struck
by an idea. There was life and liberty in
it. He drove his heels against the horses
sides. Luckily he had stolen good fast
horse-and like flash away went horse
and rider, and in the alarm of the out
cry the fat man up the tree missed his
hold and fell to the ground, badly hurt
of course. The fugitive went flying over
the prairie, the rope streaming behind
his neck. The vigilance party's guns
and horses were 500 yards off. After
the excitement was over a meeting of
the court was held, to reconsider the
matter of nature having planted that
particular tree to hang that particular
man upon, and it was unanimously
carried that it was not.-Detroit Free
Press.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Dogs That LearnTrades.

The dog corps, long since established
in the French army, has been recently
much increased, so efficient have these
little soldiers become. At an early
stage of the trials they gave satisfaction
as advanced posts, seeming or hearing a
stranger approaching even in the dark
ness, and quickly learning the difference
between friendly and o foreign I'M
form. The latest trick the military
dog has learned is that of carrying de-
spatches between distant sections of an
army or reliefs or reinforcements pre-
sumably advancing through hostile
country. The system is an offshoot OF
the dog smuggler system, which is de-
scribed in the current number of Black
goods, and the steps by which the AMI
mails are taught to understand what is
wanted of them are best shown by ref
erence to that article.
The smuggler in broad day walks
across the frontier, his dog by his side,
leaving the latter at the house of his
accomplish and returning without him.
When night falls, the dog is given a
beating and turned loose to find his way
home. Next he has small packet
fastened to his collar, and gradually the
burden is increased. Then half dozen
or more are employed at the same time !;
the most intelligent being given no
burden, that he may the more readily
act as scout for the Others. He goes
ahead, they keeping well back, till he
gives them the signal that the coast is
clear The customs dog from its earliest
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
The Apology Worse Than the Offense

A little girl who had a foolish habit
of plain-speaking was taken to the sew
ing circle with her mother. On entering
the room, after exchanging greetings.
with several matrons of her acquaint-
lance, Miss Truthful walked up to an
other lady, and in the confident tone of
one who gives utterance to self-evident
fact, she said, loud enough for every one
present to hear:
"Why, Mrs. Handley, how homely you
arep'
While the victim was hiding her con-
fusion as best she might, and the rest
were trying hard to conceal their amaze.
ment, the young lady herself was hastily
taken from the room.
Once in the hall, she was dealt with
somewhat severely, and made to feel the
enormity of her unintentional rudeness.
Then she was taken back to apologize.
Walking straight up to Mrs. Handley,
while all the ladies held their breath to
listen. she said, with trembling tones
and the tears still upon her cheeks:
'sAlrs. Handley, I'm sorry you're SO
homely r'- Youths Companion.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
WISE WORDS.
Beware how you get into debt.

Beware how you get into debt.
Benevolence begins with trifes.
There is virtue in promise until it is
redeemed.
1t is small thing to be wronged, but
a horrible thing to be wrong.
An optimist in an unrehective in
dividual with nerves at concert pitch.
It requires far less effort of intellect to
utter falsehood than to advance q
truth.
Better the enmity of those who assist
than friendship of friends that does moth
ing avail.
Some one should preach sermon on
the bad taste of pursuing good taste too
exclusively.
Faith, like any virtue, must have its
test, and probably the reason for mex
plicable evil.
In moments of decision there is danger
of installing the exhaustion of long
spiritual struggle for resignation to fate.
Let us help the fallen still, though
they never pay us; and let us lend
without exacting even the usury of graft
tude.
He who does good deed is instantly
ennobled; he who does q mean act is by
the action itself contracted and self de-
graded.
The philosophers trouble is that while
he can give fifty years to evaluating life
impartially, life has spent several thou
sand years in shaping his prejudices.
Socrates was esteemed the wisest man
of his time because he turned his
acquired knowledge into morality, and
aimed at goodness rather than great
ness.
The true order of learning should be,
first, what is necessary; second, what is
useful; and third, what is ornamental.
To reverse this arrangement, is like be-
ginning to build at the top Of the edi-
fee.
We talk of immortality, but we even
do not know yet what time is. Perhaps
time has possibilities that dwarf i'm
mortality, and we are fooling ourselves
with the poorer choice. Let us have the
very best
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

She Showed Her Mark-Must Fay
for Her Spooning - Misunder'
stood His Classical Son, Etc.
II cannot write,n the maiden said.
And blushing hung her pretty head.
"You cannot write" the justice cried
And gazing at her softly sighed.
And while he watched her tresses dark
He added, "Give US then your mark"
"My markr in surprise murmured she;
"Why, yes, your mark we'll have to see."
With motion born OF native grace
Her dress-sleeve quick she did displace;
And on her arm so round and stark,
She showed her vaccination mark
st. Louis Magazine.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
FARM AND GARDEN.
k.en N, Roof. s.turated.

The best safeguard against Ice in sum-
mer is the free use of kerosene In winter,
Keep the roosts well saturated with 1t,
and In the course of time the wood will
DO so impregnated, that the work will
mot of necessity be repeated so often.
The neglect to guard against lice in
winter is often the cause of their early
appearance when warm weather APP
proaches. The walls of the poultry
house should also receive attention and
be given dose of kerosene. The pre-.
yention Of lice is also the prevention of
disease. --Ne.o York Herald.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Not Applicable in His Case.

"What seeming trife may save a
mans life, Bromley Tread here that a
half dollar in a mans waistcoat pocket
turned the bullet asidem
"Such trife would never save my
life, Darringer."
"Why wouldn't it."
"Because you might perforate me
with bullets and you'd never strike a
half dollar. Thine.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
A Court Anecdote.

Court anecdotes have become quite
popular. The reminiscent editor of the
Boston Transcript says: There used to be
in practice, in one of the southern cities
of Massachusetts,, a well known lawyer,
who had considerable degree of success
at, the bar, in spite of an infrmity of
speech that he never could get rid of.
His suffering appeals in behalf of his
clients were sometimes fearful and won
derful deliverances, oratorically, but his
opponents used to say that they really
gained in effectiveness from his stutter-
ing. because the jury not only sympa-
thized with him, but had time to take in
and digest all his points.
One day he appeared in ristol
County court room before Judge pitman
and jury tn defend very tough look
ing citizen who had been arrested on q
rhaTge of selling liquor without license.
The man had bad reputation and a bad
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
A Royal Horseman.

The Emperor of Austria is splendid
horseman. His slender and graceful
figure is we'll adapted to the saddle.
When riding with his staff, he can be
recognized at distance, being quite a
conspicuous figure in the cavalcade.
Curiously enough, when boy he was
afraid of horses, and it required con-
siderable persuasion to induce him to
mount the quietest of ponies. No sooner
had he, at the age of fifteen, begun his
military studies than he overcame his
limidity, and soon was able to perform
expert feats of Workmanship.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
An Embarrassing Situation.
n shy, embarrassed way he began:

"a a shy, embarrassed way he began:
"Would you, Miss -or-er-
could you-or, that is to say-h'm-
this is really distressing, it is all SO new
to me-er-I was going to remark, Miss
Clara"
ooh, don't be embarrassed, Mr..
Gusty," said the girl, with modest en-
enlargement; ''pray go Oh"
"Would you," he blurted out, "be
good enough to lend me nickel to get
back home with9'-Harper's Bazar.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Life Worth Living.

Friend Ito very sick youth)-"Charley,
you must brace up and get well. Ihave
some glorious news for you."
Sick youth (feebly)-"What is it2"
Friend-"Your aunt Minerva told me
personally that if you'd only try and get
well, she would leave you every dollar
she's got in the world"
Sick youth with more strength It's
that so, Fred. Did you ask her how
much she is worth2"
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Must Pay for Her spooning,

John-"Do you think you will always
be as spoony on me after we are married,
dearest2"
Maud-"Don't know, John. Depends
upon how literally you fork over"
Then followed silence so thick that
it could be cut with butter knife
Jeaceler's Weekly.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
So Worried.

It was the night before the wedding,
and he was bidding her good night, and
softly whispered:
Tomorrow eve, my darling, we begin
our journey as bride and bridegroom,
pilgrims of life together; hand in hand
will we journey adown life's rugged
road. We shall want to set out with q
glorious equipment of faith and hope
and courage, that neither of us may faint
and fall by the wayside before the jour
ney is ended; will we not, darlingw
sT-I-oh, yes, to be sure; only l
really am SO worried about the train of
my dress. It didn't hang one bit nice
to-day when tried the dress on, and I'd
die with modification if it hung SO at
the wedding tomorrow. Go on with
what you were saying, dear!"-Puck.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Heavy Expenses.

'My DEAR" said Fifth avenue mill
ionaire, ''isn't this rather an expensive
supper"
Expensive, John, replied the wife,
''it consists of nothing but cold roast
lamb and salad. Why Marie prepared
the supper herself"
"Yes," he said, sarcastically, "and
there's $4,000 cook down stairs doing
nothing. You must keep him busy, my
dear, or we won't get our money back. "
-Ep0ch.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

After hard rain at the site of old An
Jacksonville Prison it is easy to collect
trlnkets worn by Union soldiers who
were confined in the prison. A dozen
brass buttons and belt clasp with the
letters U. s. on it were picked up there
the other day.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Potato Growing.

The great mistake of those who begin
the cultivation of potatoes is that they
do not commence soon enough. They
find the price high at planting time
conclude then that a crop will be
profitable investment, pillow their land,
buy seed at high price, put it in with
as little care as possible, and generally
make failure. Either the crop is poor,
or the price at selling time is low, as it
is very apt to be when seed potatoes are
dear. If we wanted to give the best
assurance of a successful result, we
would reverse every one of the condi-
tons herein specified. Plant most
freely when potatoes at planting time
are cheap. The preparation of the ground
ought to begin at least the fall before.
If it is a sod, cover it literally with
whatever manure can be spared. Most
of this will, by the next spring, work
its way down through the soil, fsrtiliz.
ing and making active the fertility in
the particles as it follows down the grass
or clover roots. The shelter to the sur
face will make the grass leaves turn
pale, and as soon as the land is plowed,
the manure and grass roots will cause
rapid fermentation, that will keep the
soil moist all summer. On land thus
prepared the grower is reasonably sure
OF a profit, whether the selling price of
potatoes be high or low. He will grow
them as cheaply as anybody, and it is
cheap growing, not high prices, that
insures potato profits. -Boston Cultioator.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
AN OLD SERMON,

o man, whoe'er thou bo,
Look we'll about and SEQ
How. on this mortal star,
All things compounded are
OF the four elements,
Though, to thy baffied sense,
Through many forms they range
And are so swift to change.
These, in their nature sure,
AloSs do still endure,
And thc~. from each in turn,
Shalt a wise lesson learn.
First thou shalt view tho soil,
Given to thy patient toil;i
See how the teeming earth
10 all good things gives BIRTH
tla'f the year cold she lies,
Buried in snow and ice,
But when the days Of spring
Back the warm sunshine bring,
Meekly she smiles again,
Forgetting all her pain,
And when We wound her fields
Harvest most rich she yields
So when God tries thy heart
Keenly with ache and smart
When pain and peril stand,
Threatening, at either hand,
And when the rain of grief
Brings thy spent soul relief,
See that in songs of praise
Still thy faint voice thou raise,
And that thou yield brave deeds
Although thy weak heart bleeds.
Regard thou then the sea,
Which. though so seeming free
Yet a fixed law obeys
Through all its Grant ways.
Hark! how the breakers roar,
Beating upon the shore!
The pillows, mountain high,
Threaten the very sky!
Yet there's no angry wave,
Howe'er it foam and rave,
Dare in rebellion try
To pass its boundary.
Hearst thou the water teach,
Louder than tongue can preach,
So shall thy firm-set will
Govern thy passions still,
Though fierce war they wage,
Yea, though they storm and rage.
Not one least whit shall they
Thy strong resolve dismay.
Consider then the air,
Which, passing everywhere,
Although tits never seen,
Gods greatest boon hath been,
So let thy charity
Challenge no human eye,
And, while itself doth hide,
Unto none be denied,
But both on good and ill
Its constant grace distill,
Bringing new life and cheer
To thy sad fellows here.
Mark how the mounting flame,
Returneth whence it came,
Ever doth burning rise
To seek the starry skies.
There's no imperious force
May stay its upward course;
ibis world holds naught SO dear
AS can detain it herel
So seek thy goal above,
Unmoved by fear or love;
Thus shalt thou learn from fire
answering to aspire
From the cold breast Of earth
To heaven that gave thee birth!
'Zos Dana Underhilt, in the Centu,
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Consistent With Either Profession.

Consistent With Either Profession.
Fogg-'His handling of the SOULS
was sight to see."
Mrs. F.-"Of whom are you speak
ing9"
F.-"Of Jones, the oarsman, of course.
Whom else should mean, pray2"
Mrs. F.-''Well, you might mean a
phrenologist."
F.-"Ethel, you're the bane of my
existence
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

A genuine Irish jaunting car is the
sensation just now on the streets OF kal'
timore. 1t has been discovered that the
haunting car cannot be introduced with
success into cities where the rails of the
street railway rise above the level of the
roadway.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
The Firm Retired From Bushes,

The Firm Retired From Business.
Senior partner Ito Office boy)-"What
makes the cashier so late this morning2"
Hes taken all the cash and gone to
Montreal, SIR"
"Where's the clerk2''
"He's skipped to Spain with all the
silverware, SIR"
"Well, where's my partners"
''Gone to Europe with all the gold
watches, SIR"
"Good Heavensl "Well, see here as
long as all the rest have gone, I'll take
the diamonds and visit South America !;
and, by the way, you can take that
basket there, fill itwith nickel watches,
and cross over to Jersey. "-Je,oeler's
Weekly.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Telling and Seasoning Timber

While the durability of timber does
not wholly depend on the time when it
is cut, the latter has in most cases an in
tluence in its preservation that should
cause the telling to be done mt that sea-
son when there is the least fermentable
sap in the tree This would indicate
winter as the proper time, and of the
winter months December might fairly
have the preference, not only as fully
meeting this requisite, but also in or
dinarily being a more agreeable time for
outdoor work than the succeeding ones.
Much timber is lost for lack of care after
it is cut, by which not only is the ma
terial wasted, but an additional expen-
diture of labor is required in replacing
what might have lasted longer had it
been felled at the right time and prop
erly seasoned before it was used. Espe-
cially will this be the case with timber
cut in the sap and used for posts or
placed in contact with the ground while
in green state.
To prevent the growth of ferments or
fungi in the sap, which leads to decay,
the sap must be dissolved, leached out
or dried out, aud some measure adopted
to prevent moisture from re entering the
wood Where thoroughly dried wood
il used for posts in the ground they will
last much longer than green. for the rea-
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

The poet who says he wove fancies
eight as zephyr's play" probably used
an air-loOm. BinghamtQa Repu6iiean.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Westward Ho,

'Do you think, said Mrs. KILN, of
San Francisco, that my daughter is
sufficiently intelligent to enter your
seminary"
81 am sorry to say, madam" replied
the Boston teacher, THAT your daughter
doesn't even know the difference between
acommon and proper noun"
"She don't Well, have her taught
straight off I don't want anything COM
mon about her. She must use only
proper nouns in her speech. Thine.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
The Little Store Around the Corner

The Little Store Around the Corner.
Young Wife passing big confection-
cry store)-'Tsn't this the place
where you used to buy that delicious
candyw
Young Husband" DYES, my dear:
but the store is always overcrowded, and
we may have to wait l know a place
around the corner where we can get
served at once"
Chow much did you have to pay for
the candy you used to bring me, dear2"
'It was two dollars pound, but
around the corner we can get the same
kind for twenty-five cents. "-Neao York
Weekly.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

At her soirees Mme Carnot wife of the
President of France, wears crown Of
ears of corn, spangled with diamonds.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24
Misunderstood His Classical Sol

Bobby proud of his progress in LATIN
-"Pop, what's the Latin for people"
Father---"I don't know"
Bobby Qoudly)-"Populi."
Father (fiercely-"What do you mean,
you young scamp2 Lie, do II By the
piper, lad, I've half notion to baste
you."-Binghamton Republican.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-24

An ordinary elephant produces 1870
pounds of ivory.