davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
A Story hy Erred Douglass,

"Fred'' Douglass told the other day
about conversation which he over
heard in crowd between two Irishmen
after he had made speech in Ohio, /
believe, in the course of the late cam
paign.
Said one Irishman: s'That was a
mighty phoine speech for to be made by
nayger.'
''Ah, yes, it was quite phoine; but he
is only half a nayger."
"Well, if half a nayger can make such
speech, and sphwat the devil kind of a
magnificent speech would whole nay
ger makePo
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
Few Rules For Waltzers.

Chicago Inter-0cean.
Always maintain proper attitude.
Disguise all effort.
An extended leg must not be bent.
Bend only the knee from which mo-
ton is made.
When moving the feet let the heels
pass close together.
Keep the heels about half an inch
from the floor.
In rising. allow the toes to be the last
part of the foot to leave the floor.
When descending, let them be the
first to touch.
Endeavor to keep the feet at a right
angle at all times.
These can only be suggestions.
Gracefulness of motion must be learned
from example.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
Temperance Crusaders.

The semi-annual election of the Cru
saders Total Abstinence society took
place at Crusaders hall yesterday after
noon. The following being chosen:
President, John I. Twohy; vice presi-
dent. John T. Mulgrew: financial .secre-
tary. Timothy C. Mccarthy; secretary,
A. w. Gutrdge; treasurer, William j..
Murphy: chairman of library commit
tee, James Lynch: executive committee,
John j. Gleason. James J. Daily. James
J. Conroy, George j. Ryan, James Nc
Donnell. Joseph Butler, James ]. Re
gan: stage manager, Charles Morrow.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
Christmas Literature.

Philadelphia Record.
Book Publisher-My dear, you must
come down to the office and see the
stacks of holiday book covers we've
been getting out. Such magnificent
works of art-they'd make your head
swim. We've mad the finest artists and
best workmen in the country employed
on them for months.
Nife-But what is to go inside of the
covers.
ssWeu, II don't know yet"
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
1T STUCK TO HIM.
Gen. Langly's Tribute to the Wis
dom of Certain ColOred
Waiter.

Gen. Langly'S Tribute TO, the WIS.,
dom of Certain ColOred
Waiter.
0pie P. Read in Time.
Gen. P. Langly, well-known farmer
living near Frankfort, KY, was invited
to attend banquet given by the COVER
nor to the members of the Legislature.
The old fellow was much fiattered by
the invitation. 1t was the first great
attention ever bestowed upon him, for
although he held, with a grip of pride,
the title of general, his military SER
vices had been confined to the collection
of mules for the Confederate army. He
consulted several friends, and was told
that it would be disgrace to appear at
the banquet in other than the conVen-
tional regimentalS of a great social Occa-
sion, namely, full dress suit of bread
cloth.
ssYou don't mean one of these slleer-
crow looking coats with the sides all
cheWed off, do you?7 the old general
asked.
"Yes, irregular sWalloWtail."
81 don't like it, but | reckon I'll have
to get me one"
Having noready money he mortgaged
a dress suit. At-the banquet he was de-
lighted to see that every one else was
dressed in a similar manner, and SO
much at ease did he feel that he pro-
ceeded at once to make himself at home.
He had never tasted champagne before,
and was much surprised at the mildnesS
of the inSinuating beverage. He had
drank at least quart of the wine when
lse called waiter:
''Say, haven't you got something to
drink here?"
..Oh, yes, sab; got champagne, plenty
o hit"
Il mean haven't you got some Ticker?
I like sweet milk well enough, but it
don't take hold. Haven't you got some
thing that will stick?'
The negro grinned. He saw that the
general was a ''tenderfoot.
BOSS" SAID he. pointing to the wine,
'.you jiSt stick to hit an hit will jist
stick ter YOU"
''All right, I'll give it chance, but [
wish you had something to drink that
would jolt little"
About 2 o'clock the next morning the
general was found in ia row alley.
standing on his head, yelling Justify for
some one to come and help him down.
And two days later man passing along
a road saw the general, in full dress,
clearing out a horse pond.
"Why. general, what's the matter?"
'.See anything the matter?'
"Yes. decidedly. Why do you wear a
dress suit while doing such work?"
$50 show what blame fool / am.
Were you at that banquer?'
Yes"
''Well. there wasn't but one sensible
man present"
'sWho was hep"
"a blamed darkey who told me that
if I'd stick to that stuff they had to drink
1t would stick to me-"
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
Recent Improvement.

New Ork sun.
Stranger Ito bartender)-Was there a
man in here this afternoon, Mr.. Bar
keep, who claimed to be the bow-legged
boss of Shorty river, and when he
wanted to cross the stream he always
drank the river dry?
Bartender-Yes sir; but he didn't
look as though he could drink that much
water.
Stranger-ae kin drink anything.
Bartender-Did he have black and
blue bulge under each eve?
Stranger-No'p: / never noticed 'em.
Bartender-WeIl, you will notice 'em
the next time you see him.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
An UnfuIfilIed Promise.

IJetfOll I Tee TItss.
Scene: A Toronto household.
Mamma to Edie, aged three and one
half years, just home from her first
morning at the kindergarten)-WeIl,
Edie, how did You like it?
Edie-I didn't like it bit. The
teacher put me on chair and told me
to sit there for the present. And i sat
and sat, and she never gave me the
present.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
IfNot, Ought to Be.

New York Sun.
Young Man jteselyanb is Miss Clara
engaged
Seryant-Hiyen Tist Your sewl, serr,
hope she is. She's in the parler now
wild young mans arm tHict around
her waist.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07

between drinks the four and the Dutch
man became congenial friends. Before
parting the latter handed them bread
and-beef sandwich all around, and hay-
ing lost hi :arm under Hood. as the
party was about to go, he called Ban
herman back and blarted out:
mime friend, dot vos der(iomndest
trick Yot ever seed. rs heard ov fell
lers spenden der last dollar yer visky,
but you vas der Wrist weller vot / seed
spend his last dollar yer beer. Leds
take Yone glass more on dot"
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
Sloppy Didn't Stand.

BOStOn ITaIisCfIDl
Sloppy is very free with his praise of
women, but words are cheap. He was
saving in the car the other day: Il tell
YOU that woman stands for all that is
pure and noble and good in humanity"
s.'I see" replied Fogg; land that's
why you don't get up and give one of
these ladies seat; but don't you think
YOU are tritie egotistical to speak OF
yourself as all that's pure and noble
and good in humanity?'
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
surprised Their Teacber.

The young ladies of Mrs. S. Sherin's
Sunday school class of the Clinton Ave
nue. Methodist church, gave her a sur
prise Saturday night at her residence,
3S West Deles street. After spending a
pleasant evening they presented her
with beautiful and costly present.
The following young ladies are mem
berS of the class: Misses Lizzie Deak,
Minnie LaWton. Birdie Carson. Jessie
Carey, Annie Manton, Mary LiedIoff,
Meta Mample, Allie Stout, Allie Bal
lard, Rosa st. Peter, Gertie Haniey and
Mrs. Kittie Doak Mcintyre, Ihe super
intendent, e. b. Lawton, was also pres
ent.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
DIED.

WOODS-In St. Paul, at st. Joseph's he's
pital, at 8 o'clock p. m,. Sunday, Jan. 6,
John Woods, aged thirty-seyen years. No
tice of funeral hereafter.
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07

Their mules were given over TO con-
yenient darky, and they entered the
establishment. There one-armed
Dutchman stood behind an improyised
bar. Said Bannerman:
My friend. what have you got here
pop. soda. ginger beer, Or the genuine
artiele?''
The answer came: ''Dot ves der
shenuine Galveston peer. tnd dwenty-
five cents a glass.
1.-The devil you say" remarked the
returning Confederate, at the same time
Stamping his only s. goldpiece on the
counter. Just dish up. that beer till
that moneys all gone, old man."
The calculation was a short one, and
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
u LAGER BEER FOR SALE.
9ssf+h
galveston Hops for Sale at q
1HGW Quarter a Drink


= I Among the recent visitors i'll New
rGefk was James Bannerman, chairman
aof cthe Missouri house of delegates.
During the war ''Jim," as he is fami-
lliarfy called, wore gray uniform and
wasa gallant soldier. When hostilities
ceased he found himself and three COM
pbanions near Waco, Tex. A friend of
aJim's'' family lived there, and from
him he secured loan OF $40, giving
each of his three companions S. and re-
flaming the fourth. Mounted on ''B-fat"
mules, Bannerman's feet raking the
tgroItnd. they proceeded toward their
Homes in Missouri.
Two days out the quartette drew up
at a log cabin. where a large piece of
brown wrapping paper was displayed.
bearing in charcoal letters:
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07
The American Building and Loan
association of Minneapolis

On jan 1 removed to its elegant quar-
ters in the Bank of Commerce building,
St. Paul daily globe., 1889-01-07

LAGER BEER FOR SALE HERE"
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1889-02-14
HUMOROUS.

When Ireland becomes independ-
ent the ship of state will doubtless be
manned by Cork's crew. Pittsburgh
Chronicle.
-Milkman-''Do you wish to settle
for your last months milk?" House.
wife-"Not to-day; | guess you'll have
to chalk it, as you usually do
LotoeU Citizen.
Editors child-"What's the mat
ter with papa to-day He's in an awful
bad humor." Editors wife-''Yes.
my dear. The regular funny man of
the paper is sick and your father is
trying to keep the department going"
N y Weekly
Mr.. Oldboy and the Widow Jenk-
ms were very old friends, and had not
seen each other since youth, SO age
naturally became the subject of con-
versation. "Ah, Mr. Oldboy," sighed
the widow, Il have had a great deal
of trouble in my time, and | really am
not as old as | look" NO." re-
sponded Mr.. Oldboy, gallantly, Il am
quite sure of that, Mrs. Jenkins. y
Harper's Bazaar.
Tomorrow, Maria, will be your
birthday, and | want to give you some
appropriate present. What shall it
be?" whatever your kind heart
may suggest, john" Next day.
Maria, you know how your poor
back has suffered from pulling off my
boots in the evening. 1t will not suf-
fer any more, my love. See! have
brought you a nice new bootjack,
which will use hereafter instead
Chicago Tribune.
Tired tramp lin an exasperated
sort of way)-''There, ma'am, there
your three bushels of potatoes | prom
ised to dig if you'd give me some
lunch, and | don't care if l never see q
potato again, I'm sick of EN-" Won.
an-''Well, you sit down under the
shade O. them gooseberry bushes, and
lunch II be ready in few minutes.
Tramp-"What re you goin' to hav,
fur lunch. marm?" Woman-''We'r,
goin' to have baked potatoes. Epoch
Old Gentleman-"How does m,
son get on?' School Teacher-"He',
one of the best students in the school
I've no complaint to make on tina
score" Old Gentleman-"That wa
the way with me when | went t,
school. I'm glad he's taking after hi
father" School Teacher-''But he'
rather unruly at times, Mr. Hard
castle, and frequently has to be repri
manded for fighting" Old Gentleman
We'll. suppose it's natural that b
| should have some of his mothers strik
ing characteristics, Nv K Ledasr,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1889-02-14
RESTAURANT HOGS.
How One of Them Spoiled a Fair Lady's
and Reporters Appetite.

How One of Them Spoiled Fair Lady's
and "a Reporters Appetite.
Speaking of restaurants, how they
hold the mirror up to the nature OF
ones breeding Let man be lifted
never so high by the most skillful and
artistic of tailors, he will find his level
at the table. The failure of our res
taurant keepers to provide a number
of small tables for two compels the
doubling, and frequently the quadru-
ping up process, so that one has an ex-
cellent though ofttimes uncomfortable
opportunity of studying his dining
neighbor. / sat in such position last
night. Being in haste to reach the
theater, my lady and | entered the
first restaurant we came to-and it is
called a good one-for supper. There
were no vacant tables, so | selected a
table at which was seated a very nice
appearing mortal, well dressed, and
who gave the impression of being gen.
tleman of taste. His order was served
as we took our seats, and as we wait
ed for ours we were RECALLED by as Won
derful an exhibition of gastronomic
gymnastics as had ever seen. This
gentleman of taste began with soup.
He evidently is fond OF soup. With one
hand clasping the plate, to tilt
it as the compound grew less, and
the other the spoon as Arson holds his
bat when two men are out and three
on bases, he got on the outside of that
soup in five breaths, and with such a
noise rs comes from the waste-pipe of
nearly emptied bath-tub. He then
gave his attention to his fish, and but
for his opportune coughing would have
certainly proved the worth of our fears
that some of the bones would be the
death of him. The fish dispatched, he
devoted his energies to nice-looking
sirloin, some potatoes and turnips.
am sure he likes hash, especially when
prepared by himself; for, after care
fully cutting the meat from the bone,
he cut it in small pieces, dumped the
potatoes and turnip on top, and, by
deft manipulation, had in the twinkling
of an eye the three ingredients mixed
with thoroughness worthy of better
cause. He has little use for fork
when he eats hash. He prefers, as he
showed last evening, to get his knife
nicely heaped, using a crust of bread
for pusher. How he got through the
dessert / don't know, My companion
complained of a sudden faintness, and
| took her out in the air and we Wen
to the theater without supper. - Chi
cago Journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1889-02-14

We may long ardently to see once more
in "the wilderness of sleep" some be-;
loved and vanished face, yet this poor
solace may be denied, while alien
images crowd into the brain. Upon
this subject Hazlitt wrote: II never,
dream of the face of any one | am par
ticularly attached to. | have thought
almost to agony of the same person
for years, nearly without ceasing, so as
to have her face always before me,
and to be haunted by perpetual con-
seriousness of disappointed passion, yet
never in all that time dreamt OF that
person more than once or twice, and
then not wildly" Nor can the last
impression received by the mind be-
fore slumber Overwhelms it be calcu-
lated upon, for we may read of Mother
Blood's execution, and dream, imme-
diately afterward. of cabbage gar
den; or, transversely, we may be
Graded by most soothing. placid medi-
tations, yet the weird magician, who
bears the branch of peoples, will
beckon us to follow through seas of
gore.
Experiment has proved that dreams
may be influenced, If not controlled,
through the inlets of the senses; the
thunder of drays upon the cobble
stones suggested tempest TO the
dreamer, and the fumes of sulphur
or the pleasant odors of aromatic
water near the nostris transport him
to strange countries. For this reason
the noises of awakening life give color
and movement to the visions that
chang upon the edge of day." render
ing them more real and vivid than
those which come at dead of night
1t is somewhat Disseminating to
realize that dyspepsia is one of the prime
factors in dream making. 1t matters
little whether the conscience be clear,
if the digestion be not in equally good
case. Most people have experienced
the oxcitation, supersensitiveness of
every faculty, brought about by a
febrile condition of the blood-the
lightness of head and limb, extending,
as one fancies, even to the loss OF
gravity-the strange, unfamiliar aspect
assumed by well-known objects about
the room, for fever, like indigestion, is
a fertile breeder of phantasms. N o.
Times Democrat
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1889-02-14
Marriage Not a Failure.

Marriage failure! | should say
notm remarked an Oregon farmer,
whose opinion was desired on one of
the great questions of the day.
"Why, there's Lucindy gifts up in
the mornin', milks six cows, gifts break
fas', starts four children to skewl,
looks AFTER the other three, feeds the
hens, likewise the hogs, likewise some
motherless sheep, skins twenty pans o.
milk. washes the clothes, gifts dinner,
ct cetery, ct cetery.
Think | could hare anybody to do
it fur what she gits' Not much! Mar
riage, sir, is success, sir; greet suc-
cessw Youths Companion.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1889-02-14
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

The MS of the first letter ever
written by Mrs. Stowe is preserved
among her papers.
-"Carmen Sylvia" has tall and
splendid figure and finely nodded
form and large, blue, dreamy eyes.
One of the most accomplished ORR
entalists in this country is Mr. Alex
ander j. Catheal, Consul-General for
Nicaraugus, in New York. He is
widely known among scholars for his
critical knowledge of Arabic.
Young Hearst, OF the San Fran
cisco Examiner, graduated from Har-
ward in 1884, and was especially noted
in college as the occupant of room
whose fittings cost $4,000. His father,
the Senator, made him a present of
the Examiner on commencement day.
Horace Greeloy's best political
work was done when he edited the
Log Cabin during the Harrison cam
paign. 1t was published at Albany,
and Greeley was conducting the New
YORKER at the same time. 1t was at
the close of the campaign that he
started the Tribune.
Mrs. Rose Terry Cook, the au-
thoress, lives in bright and cheerful
old house in Pittsfeld, Mass. She is
very fond of antique furniture and
relics, and her home contains many
choice pieces of old mahogany. In
her cupboard is an ancestral dinner
set of rare old Lowestoft china.
One of Louisiana's well-known
literary women is Mrs. Slaughter, who
writes over the nom de plume of
pleasant Rlderhood She is tall,
slender, gray-haired woman, of gra-
cious manners. Her home is in Rus
ton, La, in big brown house of many
gables, covered with jasmine vines.
The time seems TO have passed
when no one would read an American
book, and there is actually fear on the
other side of the water that the Gamer
lean Copyright bill is trying to trans
fer the center Of literary industry from
Great Britain to America" AT least
that is what publisher Blaikie, OF
Edinburgh, says.
"A gentleman met Mrs. Stowe the
other day and said to her: when ]
was younger read with great deal
of satisfaction and instruction Uncle
Toms Cabin. The story impressed
me very much, and | am happy to
shake hands with Mrs. Stowe, who
wrote it." II did not write it," she
replied, gently, as she shook his
brawny hand. "You didn't! Why,
who did, then?" God wrote it," she
replied, simply. Il merely did His
dictation."
Jay Gould is more or less of q
literary Teller" and occasionally
drops into poetry. 1t is said that he
has prepared an autobiography, which
is to be published after his death, il
which he has answered all the princi
pal charges which have been brought
against him, and has presented ex
plantations of all his great tinancia
exploits. He guards the manuscript
carefully lest any one should get holt
of it and publish it before his death
He seems to think the coffin will pro
tect him from replies.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1889-02-14
THE LADY EMEMBERED.
Instructive Session of the Pumpkin Hol-
low Ladies' Literary Club.

Instructive session OF the Pumpkin Hol-
low Ladies' Literary Club.
In town not far from Detroit the
ladies have organized Literary
Club" There are eight members in
the society, and by way of diversity
they give a ''high teal to eight favor
tie gentlemen once fortnight.
The other night Robert Elsmerc"
was brought up for discussion. No
one had read the book, but each indi-
vidual had seen fragmentary reviews
and all felt armed for the discussion.
"Let me sec" ventured Miss Wise,
''who is the author of Robert Els
mere?' never can think"
Nor l."
Il have forgotten"
80 have /"
q never can remember new
authors name two minutes.
"Nor IL
Here comes Mrs, Almons; she will
know"
Mrs. Almons was the president
one of those self-sufficient people who
know how to poise the head and look
wise.
"Yes, Mrs. Almons is walking
cyclopndia," offered young Mr.. Bill
lings. "Pray, tell us, madame presi-
dent, do, who wrote Robert Els.
mere p
"Why, Margaret Deland, of
course" said the walking cyclopGdia,
with prompt decision.
30 yes"
90 yes"
20 yes"
"Of course" echoes fourth voice.
There have been three of these re-
ligious novels within a year. John
Ward, Preacher written by"
Mrs. Humphrey Ward"
They say she named John after
her father" prompted Mr.. Billings.
20. how romantic.
80 English
decidedly" continued Miss Wise,
land Love and Theology Who
wrote that Mrs. Almons? Inever can
remember
Mrs. Cardinal Woolsey,n answered
the president
Then all famed themselves and took
sip of tea. while Mr.. Billings as
sured Miss Wise that he never knew a
woman equal to Mrs. Almons to re,
member names -Dssrolt Free Press.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1889-02-14
CAUSES OF DREAMS.
Indigestion the Most Fertile Breeder
Nocturnal Phantasms.

Indigestion the Most Fertile Breeder of
Nocturnal Phantasms.
Many have discoursed learnedly
npon dreams, propounding wise theo-
ries and making plausible suggestions,
yet no one has ever arrived at any real
solution OF the matter. 1t is only a
barrier of cloud that bars the way to
knowledge thereof, yet no fortress
wall could be more improbable. 1t
is but step from our noisy, busy
world to the vague and vast territory
where
Hollow as a breathing spell,
Drcamiand lies forlorn OF light
out no man may set up milestones
along that trackless waste. We only
know that, when all things lapse to
"a sleep and forgetting" the imag-
ination becomes a fy-by-night, and
the wits speed over land and sea like
wild birds set free from the cage.
There are few creatures exempt from
these nocturnal journeyings, however
brief and circumscribed they may be,
The dog hunts in dreams" the cat
fights in battles over again and the
bird sings in its sleep. while even the
most commonplace person can usually
give some crude account of his ex-
periences in slumber. Certain dreams
are common to all people-falling
from a preeipice, down. down, to some
unfathomed. gulf; striving to walk
upon a floor that sinks horribly be-
meath the feet; endeavoring, in urgent
haste, to put on garments that drop
off, turn wrong side out and develop
other impish propensities; riding in a
coach that suddenly crumbles to
pisces and leaves one staring in the
middle of the road. So to speak, it is
marked popularity of dreams that
1.-THE bottom drops out OF every thing"
So rebellious are dreams and so err
ratio in their course, that they can
not be controlled by any effort of will;
wild fire could be more easily chained.