Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1889-01-18
LESSON In GEOGRAPHY.

The geogrnphers and natural historians
Of this country will no doubt be pleased
TO learn that a most profound scholar in
these branches Of study has been recently
discor cred In a little hamlet on the Hud
SON The extent and ~profundity Of this
prodigy's researches arc Of so startling
aud novel a Character that It has been
deemed advisable to give tho partial re.
suits to The world through the medium Of
the press As the subjects under con
sideration are so far reaching In their
scope. it will DO necessary to coniino this
chapter to the Eastern hemisphere. with
special attention to Turkey in Europe. and
moro especially 20 Co%nstantinople IN
Turkey.
II viii be necessary 10 state at the out
SGT that this remarkable geographer and
natural historian as n frcckled, hatless
and shoeless boy Known as Michael Fini.
Jr.. heir apparent to the Finn estate On
Cooney Island This estate Is SO by 1OO
feet In size. The buildings are In the
Irish style Of architecture and consist Of
a plain. Implanted. one-story structure,
vulgarly known as a shanty. and n pig
sly. There is a large and aggressive
mortgage upon the property, which
Michael Finn, Sr.. has been unable to lift,
kNNA4aN VI AANNAAALAA1AAf ANAA MAAANEAa anu
and the prevalence OF saloons Ia the
vicinity.
But the probabfe foreclosure Of the
mortgage and tho consequent loss of his
inheritance does tot affect the junior Finn
IN tho least. He has been taught by the
schooh9aster in tIs little red school
house mf1er the hill TO rely upon him.
self. It Must be confessed, however. that
little Mile is not a brilliant scholar IL
r~udiment,iry English. Still he can spell
Constantinople. which ne did in the fol
lowing manner the ether day When his
mother had company aud after sho had
encouraged him with Now, Mickey, take
yer thumb out " yer mouth an spell
that haythen name for yer auntio. that's
a good by" B~ashfully hanging his head
little Mike began
Con. there's yer Con. Stan, there's
yer stan; there's yer Constan. III,
there's yer Ii; there's yer CONSTANT. NO,
there's yer no; there's yer Constantine.
Pull, there's yer pull; there's CONSTANT
nopull'
Then his mother flushed with pride, and
his aunt alluded to his performance in tie
following laudatory manner
LUX a that nowl FGix. Mrs. Finn,
yer by has. n great head. So he las.
Musha, but this eddecation is n quare
thing. An vhsre is this place ye were
spellin', Mickey
This question staggered Mickey for 6
minute. He scratched his head in 6
thoughtful manner, called mentally on his
limited stock of geographical knowledge.
and replied at a hazard:
'In Asyl"
'Ah. la, is that soY' replied his aunt.
AN tell ne, Mickey Is that anywhere
near Ireland?'
''Naw, " replied the boy, bridling with
o consciousness of the largoness OF his
information. ISIS right forninst Africay,
WHARF tn black naguresW ate ye. On'y
III Con-stan-ti-no-pul Ia nagure's yaller
an thare's moro dogs tharo than hairs On
me billy goats back"
COW, ov 3" exclaimed his aunt. raising
her hands in surprise. IAN fvhat does
they DO wild tn doggsi'
'Makes Eassidge iv emf
ooh, tn blasts. Bat, tell nc, Mickey,
Is 1t pork sassidge er bolo'ny sassidgeY"
Again little Mike was nonplusod. AZ
ter a little recollection, however. no re
Piled:
well, I dunno. surely, but I'm afthei
thinkin' il must be bolo'ny sasaidge. foi
how could they make pork sassidge out
Nv a dogi"
'"Thrue fur yc, Mickey. I didn't think
O that. But what else is thare sides
doggsr
We'll. thare's alleygaters in tn river
Nile, boyant the city, wild mouths on
them like tn kitchen durc. These ami.
mails Is as long as a iince, an they comes
up IN tn shore an lays there wild
thare mouths open till the little chill
der crawls in. Thin the alleygaters swal
leys the childre, clothes an all. widout
amy salt aither, so they do, an smacks
their lips fur more
"Ah, tn little dearsi God help them.
An Mickey, does thin animals ute many
O til children
"Coorse they does" replied this student
OF natural history, They ates all they
can get. an picks their teeth wild tn ind
~ their tails, which Is sharp as nadles
jist fur that purpose"
AN don't thechildre squeal2"
"shnre they does; but tn squ'alin
comes too late"
"An' whare's the p1icemin wild thare
elubsy''
'P1icemeni" acornfully replied Mickey.
"Shuro tn haythins don't hay any use
fur SIGH min. Musha, they don't care u
ha'po'th fur childro 'ceptin' they're b'ys
So it's on'y tn gurruls tn alleygaters
ates."
"Och, militia murther, tn haythin blag-
gardsl Oh. tn psgur thave8. An 50
i'm thlnlsin' tn mothers mn fathers nd be
sittin' forninst the dures watching thin
animals swallyin' th' gurls. an they look
in' on an winkin' at the a~lleygaters.
Dear, deari Well, If had wan " thin
Con-stan-ti-no-plurs lFere, do We know
fwhat I'd do wild him. Mickey Do ye
know fwhat I'd do wild me two hands,
avic2 Well, I'll tell ye fwhat I'd do,
begob; I'd hould his head bechuno me
two knees, like q head O cabbidgo, dye
moind. an I'd bate in his skhull wild me
fisht, so l would. an more power I me
Grrum till I'd do iti'
In her excitement bfickey's aunt rose Ia
her feet and started in search Of the
poker to give him a practical example OF
what she could do with that deadly in.
strument. Mrs. Finn, however, soothed
her rufled mind by handing her Mr.
Firms Guilty pipe. loaded to oyerhowing
with "Eod Carriers Delight. As she
puf3 Cd away she became calmer and al.
luded 20 tho untimcly fate Of the unf0rt.
innate babies in the following feeling
manners;
"Ah, well, God is good. To knows
fwhat Is best fur thin little haythenl
r'ared IN darkness. Faix. It's botther fur
thin I die yonng, and 60 & glory than I
DO CROWN up T. DO c%annybals. SO It's,
Thin uoIIo 10 fhau utora ri.oufad ur