Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-06-20
FRoM 1oNa-coNrINuEp CONTACT.

uIJlc Johnny. lnaI is where ler lei
low used to lean his head while you
were away"
NOT UP IN THE QUEENS ENGLISH.
American Gin London store)-I wish
to buy pair of suspenders.
Shopkeeper-Never heard of such .
thing, sir.
American-Isn't this gentleman's
furnishing store
Shopkeeper-No, sir; this is a haber-
dashery and dress supply shop. sir.
American retires staggered.
TOO PREVIOUS.
"Mr. Editor, just dashed Off,
"a poem, l SUPPOSED Well, l don't
want your poetry. 1t would look better
if you'd bring up some money"
II was about to say that Just dashed
off a check for the amount owe You,
but l guess I'll come in again.-[N Ne
braska State Journal.
had STRUCK SOMETHING HARDER.
at suppose you find this to be hard,
hard world, do you not +" she said, as
she gave the tramp loaf of stale bread.
"Yes'm," answered the tramp, trying
TO make a dent in the loaf with his
knife but we frequently strike things
that are harder"
HIS PROPOSAL.
Edgar = Miss Edith, I-ah have
something most important to ask you.
May THAT is
Edith (softly)-What is it, Edgar2
Edgar-May Edith, would you be
willing to have our names printed in
the papers, with hyphen between
Life.
REMARKABLY socIABLE.
Governor Powell was once great
favorite. He never was an orator, but
his conversational, storytelling, and So
cial qualities were remarkable. His great
forte lay in establishing a personal in
timacy with every one he met, and in
this he was powerful in electioneering.
He chewed immense quantities OF to-
bacco, but never carried the weed him
self, and was always begging it from
everyone he met. His residence was in
Henderson, and in coming up tho Ohio
past that place, l overheard the follow
ing Characteristic anecdote of Lazarus:
A citizen of Henderson, coming on
board, fell into conversation with q
passenger, who made some inquiries
about Powell
elves in your place, believe, doesn't
he?"
eyes, one of the Oldest citizens"
every sociable man, amt he ?"
Remarkably so"
"Well, / thought SO. / think he is
one of the most sociable men / ever met
in all my life. Wonderfully sociable.
was introduced to him over at Grayson
Springs last summer, and he hadn't been
with me ten minutes when he begged
all the tobacco had, got his feet up in
my lap and spit all over me. Remark
ably sociable !''- Courier Journal.
BRIGGS TARGET PRACTICE.
Hicks Ito Briggs, who has had day
out at target practice) Did you hit the
bullseye, old man.
Briggs-No; il was a COW, / believe. |
At any rate it cost me hundred dollars
10 fix it up with the fellow who owned
The critter.- Boston Transcript.
AIDS TO EDUCATION.
Sonny (reading his lesson)-Ps, what
does n-o-u-r i-s-h-m-e-n-t spell
Pappy absorbed in his paper)-Grub.
-[Texas Siftings.
A BRILLIANT IDEA.
Hardware Dealer-Now, Mr.. Rusti- |
sus, there's what 1 call bargain. That |
stove has quick oven, and the draught |
S so arranged that it will save one-hah
FOUR fuel
Mrs. II (who is student of econom-
sakes, pa why not get tloo,
md save all the fuel Bazaar.
SURE SIGN.
Merritt-Tm afraid Cora's love for
ne isn't just what it might be.
Giles-That's nonsense, old boy. She
airly idolizes you.
Merritt don't know so much about
hat. l gave her a costly present last
light, and before she thanked me she
an up stairs to show it to her mother.
Judge.
Wild West Barkeeper-Is it true you
ynched that tenderfootl
Cowboy-les.
Horse stealing9
No; he wore plug hat.-[The Judge.
"
q -.