The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-10-16
A Cruel Silence


seasonable, but there are also times
when silence is wrong and even cruel.
If there is much said that should never
have been breathed, there is also much
that ought to have free utterance
which is never spoken. 1t is impos-
sible to estimate the amount of happi-
ness and benefit that is suppressed by
this untimely silence. A group ofper-
sons are digcussing the character OF
one known, perhaps, only slightly to
most of them. Some one speaks dis
paragingly of him, or relates some i'll
cident tending to lessen him in their
estimation. Another who is present
knows this to be incorrect, but, instead
of vindicating him from the false
charge, he says nothing. He may be
shy of expressing himself; he may
persuade himself that it is not
his affair; he may dislike to ap-
pear antagonistic; whatever be his
reason, he does the absent one an ir-
retrievable injury by a silence that
must he deemed cowardly. The un-
favorable impression which he might
have corrected sinks into the memories
of those who have heard it and is prob
ably never entirely eftaced. Had he
simply uttered what he knew to be
true at the moment of need, all this
would have been prevented. In general
when the character or conduct of any
absent one is assailed, it is the path of
kindness to refute it, if possible; or,
if this cannot be, to present some point
in which he eXcels, and which may
turn the scale of esteem in his favor.
There is in each one such mixture of
good and bad, admirable and blamable
that the way he is judged largely de-
pends upon where the emphasis is
laid. Therefore, all goodwill and
kindness demand that, while we bury
his faults in oblivion, we sould speak
freely and fully of his excellences.
Not only to the absent, but some.
times to those present with US, IS 81
lence cruel. There is a wholesome
dread of fiattery among honest people,
which not infrequently leads them in
to an opposite extreme of withholding
praise whers it is due. Much discour-
agement and many abandoned efforts
may be traced to this source. Of course
it is not the ideal of manliness to re-
quire such q motive, but few approach
the ideal, and few can dispense with
the motive.
The young and experienced, the hum
BILE and self-depreciating, and all be-
ginners especially, need every sincere
word of encouragement that can be
given. It is a stimulus which no
parent, no teacher, and no employer
can afford to set aside. Has the child
been faithful, obedient, studi rs, self
denying? Tell him so, a;'G "ress
the real pleasure you feel. the
young man proved himself ,rustwor-
thy, interchangeable, intelligent? Let
him have the satisfaction of knowing
that you appreciate his efforts. Has
the timid beginner in some enterprise
done we'll for first attempt: Do not
deny him the incentive to further
efforts that your approval will afford
him. Silence at such times is not a
mere negative, blank, an omission
it is positive injury, a bar to improve
ment, destroyer of well-earned hap
piness.
Closely connected with this is 81
lence which is even more common and
which comes from neglect savoring
of ingratitude. No ordinary person
would accept gift without thanking
the giver, yet there are gifts more pre-
cious than any which can be seen and
handled, which are often received and
enjoyed without even recognition.
SOlIlellltltS IL 10 SdCllllCc tuaI uetS OSCh
willingly made on our behalf, or an
assistance kindly given, and through
we may feel gratitude, we do not ex-
press it land our benefactor never knows
it. Sometimes we are helped and COM
forted, Instructed or inspired by a
speaker or writer, and it does not
occur to us to say so or in any way to
make him aware of it. Yet, perhaps,
he is at the same time fainting for just
that very knowledge, fearing that his
efforts are futile, and feeling but little
hope in renewing them. Ifall persons
would simply and truthfully avow the
good they have received, and utter the
gratitude they really feel, it would
vastly increase the happiness and
stimulate the endeavors OF those who
labor in secret and cannot tell that they