davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-06-13
GUESSED IT. ALMOST.

First Tramp-Goin' in that house
over there, pard
Second Tramp-I tried that house last
week. / amt goin' there any more.
First Tramp 'Fraid on account o.
the dog2
Second Tramp-Me pants are.
First Tramp-Pants are what?
Second Tramp-Frayed on account o.
the dog Detroit Free Press.
THE APPRECIATED PARTY.
Mr.. Bullion-Yes, sir, am q profess
sional cook, and it gives me pleasure to
think that belong to profession that
is fully appreciated. When a particu-
larry palatable dish is set before you,
your gratitude goes out to the cook, does
it not.
Mr.. Blinks-WeE, to tell the truth,
my gratitude generally goes out to the
waiter. New York Weekly.
SURE PROOF.
Elsie-Does Reginald love you?
Aggie-I think SO. He treated me
last night to ice cream after ice-cream,
until actually shiyercd.
DEEP, DARK PROBLEM.
Shelf must be awfully nice, Jack,
to be great editor and to be able to
sway mems minds with the stroke of q
pen.
He-Ah, but you don't know the dis
couragement OF the profession, Flo.
I've been trying to sway the business
managers mind on a financial point
for some weeks, but without success.
Shell dare say it is some deep, dark
problem that he fails to grasp.
He-Yes; / want raise Of 81 week.
Thine.
WHY HE WAS THERE.
McCorkle-Hello Briggs, You eat
ing at this restaurant How is thatl
Briggs-I have bad cold, McCorkle;
/ have seen the starvation cure highly
recommended, and I'm trying it
Epoch.
STRENGTH IN UNION.
(which do you love most, your papa
or your mamma
Little CharIie-I love papa most.
Charles Why, Charlie, I'm
surprised at you. l thought You loved
me most.
Charlie-Can't help, it mamma; we
men have to stick together. Texas
Siftings.
OUTRAGEOUS.
$50 you don't like tall women :"
asked a decided misanthrope of afriend.
mot bit. If / ever marry it shall
be to the smallest one can find"
"Quite right, my boy--of two evils
choose the least. - Judge.
BRAVE HORSE.
Buyer Cconfidentially)-Say, boy. are
You sure this horse won't scare at 10
comotivcg
Stable Boy-Scares Not much Why,
sir, three different men have been killed
because that there horse baked in the
middle of the track jest to enjoy seein'
the bulljine comm. N. Y. Weekly.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-06-13
FREDDY TO THE RESCUE.

uiuuldSLuTCI.
FREDDY TO THE RESCUE.
Children never believe that father can
by any possibility be wrong, and often
construct the most ingenious excuses
for him. Freddy is little one of only
seven years growth, the son of a min
lister, who, with his wife, had arrived at
new field of labor. Hearing his mother
say Go his father that she had been de-
ceived by his saying that the house was
a three-story building, when in fact it
was only two, he said:
"Ma."
"Well, Freddy 7"
''Pa is right.
GLOW is that, Freddy"
''rhe kitchen is one !"
eyes Z"
''This floor is two, and that story
that pa told is three. II Yankee Blade.
QUIET MISSIONARY WORK.
Literary Critic Qaying down new
book)-I wish every maid, wife and
mother in the country could read that
book.
Able Editor-Well, run in a line to
the effect that that book is one which no
woman should be allowed to see.-l New
York Weekly.
HER ANCESTOR.
He-Where did you get that suit of
armorl
She-That belonged to my great
great grandfather.
He (who knows the family history
Oh, yes; to keep the flies off while he
was ploughing Life.
HE DIDN'T CARE IF HE DID.
Willsoon-Come up and have some
thing
Observation-Disclosures; I'll take that
FIVE dollars you owe me.
HOW IT CAME ABOUT.
Exasperated Gardener. wonder who
tore up my garden in this style!
Gardeners little boy.-The old hen
did it with her little scratch it.
AMBIGUOUS.
Fleecy-That was a very serious story
published about you in the Bugle to-
day.
Downy-I should say it was. I'm on
my way to see the editor now.
"What do you propose doingg"
"I'm going to show that he can't in
jure my reputation. 81 Time.
SHE KNEW THE PROFESSION.
al hear your son is a fighter9"
"No; he's pugilist.
"Oh, I'm so glad Fighting is so
ungentlemanly. y Bazaar.
OFF HIS HANDS.
"How is it You have had so few
deaths on your hands, doctorl"
"That's easy enough. When I find
l have a bad, case order the patient TO
take a trip abroad - The Judge.
ZONE TOUCH OF NATURE"
From ont it's cream laid" envelope
draw her dainty note,
And on the air around me
Her own wood violets" hoat.
With sweet anticipation
ope the well-iiled sheet,
And Mt its fond beginning
Ny pulses wildly beat.
But deeper the emotions
Reused at this relic dumb
On this last page my angel
Has dropped her chewing1gum-
-Judga.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-06-13


hand. Cruel girl Reverse your de-
cision or / shall do something desperate.
She ian heiress who knows he woos her
to be maintained)- Go to work / sup
pose!-[Texas Siftings.
READY TO TAKE HIS MEDICINE.
'Did ever say all thatg" he asked
despondently, as she replaced the pho
nograph ON the corner of the mantel-
piece.
''You did"
"And you can grind it out of that
machine whenever you choose2"
Certainly"
"And your father is lawyerl"
eyes"
''Mabel, when can / place the ring on
your finger and call you my wife, -
Merchant Traveller.
THINKING OF SOMETHING ELSE.
(The Prohibition question is being
earnestly discussed in Pennsylvania
''Do you approve of icenseG" asked
one Philadelphia girl of another.
"Indeed, ] don't. l think we ought
to be allowed to marry without one. -
THE Epoch.
ANOTHER KIND OF CRACKER.
''That man belongs to crack corps. +"
"Why, he does not look like mill
tary man at all Z"
'He isn't He's safe burglar"
HOW IT HAPPENED.
Very tall to very bow-legged man
"Great Scott Did you learn to walk
too young, or what Z"
Bow-legged n-Stranger, warp
ed my legs STOPPING down to avoid long
legged bores who ask questions
Judge.
A PUSHING FELLOW.
Observation-Disclosures is rather a push
ing fellow. How do you account for it 7
Inherited it. His father
used to push junk cart.
JUST LIKE THE MEN.
Mrs. Holmes-Why, what's the
matter Angelina. Your eye and your
nose-have you been in railroad acct
dent9
Mrs. Laidlow-No, dear, the Wo-
mans Club had little election last
night and was up for President.
That's all.-[Epoch.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-06-13
THE JOKERS BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Another Kind of Cracker-How 1t
Happened-A Pushing Fellow.
A DESPERATE ALTERNATIVE.

He poor and idle)-You reject my
hand. Cruel girl Reverse your de-
cision or / shall do something desperate.
She ian heiress who knows he woos her
to be maintained)-Go to work sup
pose!-[ Texas Siftings.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-06-13
APPEARANCES DEcErTFUn.

''Who is that tall, handsome gentle
man over there! He must be poet or
an artist.
"No; that is Smith, the stomach-pump
manufacturer.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-06-13
QUIET MISSIONARY WORK.

Literary Critic Qaying down new
book)-I wish every maid, wife and
mother in the country could read that
book.
Able Editor-Well, run in line to
the effect that that book is one which no
woman should be allowed to see.-[ New
York Weekly.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-06-13
INK headache,

[',,ous Headache,
Illness, COnstiPa-
~ Indigestion,
'Ious Attacks, and
arrangements OF
I, 10 M ach and
rsIs. are promptly
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-06-13
A BRAVE House.

Buyer Cconfidentially)-Say, boy, are
you sure this horse won't scare at 10
comotivc2
Stable Boy-Scares Not much ! Why,
sir, three different men have been killed
because that there horse baked in the
middle of the track jest to enjoy seein'
the bulljine comm. N. Y. Weekly.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-06-13

$50 you don't like tall women 2"
asked decided misanthrope of afriend.
mot bit. If l ever marry it shall
be to the smallest one l can find"
"Quite right, my boy--of two evils
choose the least. - Judge.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13
Arrive at New York.

New YORK, April 6.-Spaldipg and
ais party Of base ball players who left
san Francisco last fall, and who haze
sirce Travelled around the world PLAYING
he national game in various countries,
arrived this morning on the steamship
Adriatic in good health and spirits. The
tug boat Laura NJ. Siurin. on which were
the reception committee and a mum
Der of distinguished gentlemen, steamed
down to quarantine and ran
alongside the Adriatic. The whole party
of travelling base ballists were observed
gathered amidships and on being recog-
nlzed were greeted with cheers upon
cheers, which Were responded to quickly
by the crew and passengers Of the Adri,
attic. The tourists were soon aboard
the Stirin and the party landed at
Twenty second street pier. from whence
they were driven TO the Fifth Avenue
hotel. Leigh Lynch, Spaulding's
partner, states that the tour was fnan-
cialiy a success. The receipts paid all
expenses and left q considerable surplus.
Not one Of the party suffered from a
days sickness and nearly 32, 600 miles
have been Travelled. All the players look
the picture of health and say they are in
the best Of condition.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13
Losses hH Rrairie Fires.

RAID CITY, S. d., April "a prairie
fire started one mile northeast of Rapid
City and was driven in a southeasterly
course by n gale of sixty miles an hour.
Three houses were burned. The first
was unoccupied, owned by c. II.
Kingman, of Chicago; loss 50, 900.
The second was occupied by Mrs
G. f. Bailey, a girl companion aged
II years, named Eloise Madison, and a
hired man named Ashton. The three left
the house and ran through the flames,
Mrs. Bailey and Ashton escaping with
some severe burns. Miss Madison fell,
and the fire catching her clothing burned
it completely from her body. She was
taken to a neighbor' and lies at the poin,
Of death. The house and household
goods are \ total loss. George Hunts
barns and furniture were burned, q loss
Of 81, 800; insured for $500. The family
escaped.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13
Was AT. aid OF OueeN.

LosDoN, April 6.-The return of
Queen Victoria from her vacation a
BiarriIz has brought into circulation a
very pretty little story, which is given on
the authority Of one of the equerry's in
waiting to her majesty. As the story
goes the queen, while walking out one
morning, met a nursemaid and a baby.
The latter was extremely pretty and the
queen took it in her arms, w%hereupon the
nursemaid, an Eaglishwoman, was 80
overwhelmed with awe and confusion
that she ABRUPTLY turned about and fed,
leaving the baby with the queen. One
of the gentlemen in waiting was
dispatched in hot pursuit. md catching
up with the girl, brought her back. and
the queen delivering over the child, which
belonged TO the English doctor at the
watering place, requested the nurse to
express to the father her opinion that it
WAS a beautiful child Subsequently the
queen expressed herself very torcibly re-
Garding tue agitated manner Of her own
countrym Der and countrvwomen ss rom
pared with the dtgnified bearing of the
native peasants whom she had accosted.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13
Edwin BOOTH III.

RooHEsTBs, N. Y, April last
night Booth and Barrett were to present
"Othello' at the Lyceum theater and
that play house was thropged from
orchestra rail To dome. About the mid
die Of the performance Mr.. Barrett ap-
peared in front Of the curtain and dis
missed the audience informing them that
Mr.. Booth had been stricken very sud
denly with paralysis Later it was as
certaiDed that Mr.. Booth had not been
stricken with paralysis and that his ill
ness was not serious enough to justify
alarm. Physicians give assurance that q
week or ten days absolute rest will re-
store Mr.. b 10Th to health. All dates
will be cancelled for two weeks.
Later-Mr. Booth arose at 8 30 o'clock
this morning. DR.. Sumner reports his
condition much improved. The actor is
now able to spe,k quite plainly. DIR.
Sumner advised him 10 take a rest Of a
week or ten days.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13

NEW YORK, April 5.-At noon today
the steamer Laura Nj. Starin, covered
from stern to stem with flags, stresmers
and banners, left her pier to meet the
steamer Adriatic, on which are the globe.
trotting base ball players. and which is
expected to arrive this afternoon.
No particular demonstration has
been arranged, but there will be bands,
etc, 10 welcome the wanderers at the
pier. On Monday night they will be
given a reception and banquet at Del
monico's. 1t will be the greatest ban
quet ever given to base ball players in
the history of the game. There
will be about $50 persons
present and among the sp .akers
will be Mayor Grant, Governor Hill,
Governor Buckley, Of Connecticut;
Chauncey M. Depew, Mark Twain. De
Wolf Hopper and Daniel Dougherty.
The menu has been made up with partiC-
ular reference to the occasion. On the
various pages will be sketches of some
places in foreign lands where ball players
have visited.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13
Must Have a Certificate.

Dies MONIES, Ia, April 4.-The attor
ney general rendered a decision sustain
ing the auditor in his ruling about in,
surance agents. 1t was in effect tina,
every person soliciting insurance, and
thus acting as an agent, must C a
certificate from the state auditor to show
that he was duly authorized to engage in
the business. The law as interpreted
heretofore has made it apply only 10 the
regularly appointed agents of the com
panies, but Auditor Young says that
when an agent hires a man to solicit in
surance for him, as is frequently done,
the man must have q certificate, just the
same as the agent. The companies pro,
tested that they did not want to be held
res ponsible for the acts of persons who
might be kired by local agents without
the knowledge of the general officers Of
the companies. The attorney general
holds That the public needs projection
against unauthorized agents the same as
against regular agents, and so every body
who solicits insurance must obtain a GER
tificate from the state auditor.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13

NEW YORK, April 6 A train Of four
Wagner palace cars and two baggage
cars, which are standing in the Grand
Central depot. will, barring unavoidable
delays, starts this afternoon on a tour
which old railroad men say is utterly
without precedent, and which will pass
down in railroad chronicles as the most
remarkable railroad tour ever under
taken in America up TO the present year.
Before it returns to New York it will
have covered over 20, 600 miles and
checks for 800, 900 will have been signed
TO meet the expenses of it's party.
The latter will comprise DR.. w. Seward
Webb, president Of the Wagner Car
company, his wife and three children:
his brother. Frank Webb; Mr.. and Mrs.
Henry Purdy. Mr.. Julian Kean, Mr..
George Bird, DR.. James w. NcLane,
four nurses. two maids and six celored
porters. The tour has been planned for
some time, but illness in DR.. Webb's
family had rendered several postpone
ments necessary. Arrangements have
been made for special locomotives and
clear tracks throughout the entire region
traversed, and the principal officers O; the
road over which the train will go
will be the guests Of DIR. Webb
until the end Of their lines have been
reached. The party will &C via Albany,
Buffalo and Cleveland to st. Louis and
Kansas City, thence to Colorado Springs
on TO SAINT Barbara, thence to Portland,
back TO st. Paul, back again stopping at
Yellowstone park, TO Alaska in a steamer
costing $3.50 daily, back over the Can
adam Pacific to Montreal, thence TO Yer
mont and nome again by the middle of
July. The trip will be exclus.
lively one Of pleasure and the
special train is fitted up in 8
style never before equallcd. There
are three nurseries for the children,
drawing, library, smoking and music
rooms, bath rooms in Persian brass and
Mosaic work, Gothic windows, in brief.
a Windsor castle on wheels. By the use
of Edison's latest invention the train viii
at all times be in nearly direct communi-
cation with New York. A Journey in a
special train for any such distance as this
and in SO expensive a manner has never
before been dreamt Of.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13

ELKToN, April S.-The most terrific
windstorm known to this country began
Monday, continuing TO Friday. Tues
day afternoon a perfect hurricane began
causing the sand TO blow from plowed
fields drifting in places one and m half
feet deep, About twenty miles northeast
OF here, on Tuesday, a barn on the farm
OF Henry kurth, ST., with it's contents,
three horses. harness, wagon. etc. were
consumed by fire, caused by burning
straw blowing across blowing at least "A
quarter of a mile. setting fire 10 a mown
timothy meadow, across which the fire
flew 81 the sped of a running horse. In
attempting To save his horses M. Kurih
was fatally burned, dying after thirty.
three hours Of horrible suffering.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13
Booth Retter.

NEW YORK, April 5-Edwin Booths
with his valet, reached this city at 7.30
last night. Mr.. Booths physician met
him with a carriage. Booth was in good
spirits, though a little weak and did not
seem to feel the long ride from Roches
ter. The doctor said, after examining
the great tragedian. that he had suffered
a partial stroke of paralysis which was
undoubtedly due TO excessive smoking
He directed his patient TO remain indoors
and enjoy quiet and rest FOR a few days
He thought Mr.. Booth would be able &c
resume his engagements.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13
A Double Crime.

COUNCIL BLUFFS, April 6.-Another
horrible crime was committed here about
s o'clock last night. A young man aged
81 went to the bagnio run by Kitty Ed.
wards, a woman Of the town, well known
here In police circles, and called for the
mistress. Kitty Edwards appeared at
the door and no sooner had sue opened
it than a revolver was thrust in her face
and fired. the ball striking above the left
eye. ranging upwards The man then
turned the weapon to his own head and
fred, the bail entering the left eye, kill
ing him instantly. The woman is still
alive at 10 o'clock, but cannot survive.
No cause for the crime is known. The
man who fired the fatal shots is a
stranger, and up to a late hour has not
been identified He was stability dressed
and had the initials j. N. marked on his
left leg and numerous other figures over
his arms and breast.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13
CONGRESSIONAL


WASHINGTON, April AFTER the prescnta.
ton OF two memorials, one Ia favor Of ecial
privileges IN regard TO public office for honor
ably discharged union soldiers, and the other
sgatnst the traffic Of intoxicating liquors, the
vice-president laid before the senate Senator
Stewards resolution expressing the sorrow
OF the senate ST the death Of job Bright.
Senator Sherman suggested that the reso-
luton had better be referred TO the commit.
tee on foreign relations, as It's adoption
might establish a precedent that would re-
turn to plague the senate.
Senator Hawley remarked that no such oc-
casion was likely 10 arise again. If the
United States had ever had a friend IN q time
Of need, that friend was John Bright.
Senator Hoar thought that in this psrticu-
lar case the senate was safe, as 1t WAS not at
all likely that the state OF things would again
arise that would establish between the United
States and a citizen OF a foreign country the
peculiar relation OF respect on one side and
OF tender grateful affection on the other, that
existed In this country toward the great
English statesman who had just gone to his
tomb.
Senator Sherman, while yielding TO none In
respect for Bright, was opposed to the
example which the resolution would set, bat
he would offer no obstacle to it, and would
withdraw the motion to refer.
Senator Reagan thought that the pending
resolution would establish a bad precedent
under which the senate might hereafter be
asked to adopt resolutions OF regret whenever
a foreign statesman or revolutionist NIGH
die. He therefore renewed Senator Sherman
motion TO refer the resolution to the commit
tee on foreign affairs.
Senator S ewart opposed the reference o
the resolution and favored It's adoption. II,
eulogized the character Of Bright as a leader
among men, not ty inheritance OF rank, but
by right Of great natural endowment and
high moral integrity.
Senator Hawley said he was sorry TO see
any difference OF opinion as 10 the resolu
ton, although he was aware that the differ
ence did not attach TO the merits Of The grea.
man.
Senator Evsrts remarked that the discus.
sion hdd H0lhinG 10 DO with the character or
Bright, but only with the foimality Of The
senate's proceedings.
The question was then put on Senator
Resgan's motion to refer the resolution to
the committee on foreign relations, and 1t
was so referred.
The vice-president then announced his in
tention of vacating his chair for the re-
mainder Of the session, and expressed his
grateful appreciation OF courtesy and
consideration which had received from
every member.
Senator Eimunds then offered a resolution
that In the absence OF the vice. president Sen
ator Ingalls, be chosen president of the senate
pro tempore. Carried.
The senate then proceeded TO the consider
alton Of executive business and confirmed all
the nominations Of deleg ,tes to the South
American convention, and also the nomtna.
tions OF William F.. Wharton as assistant sec
rotary Of state, and l. Bradford Prince as
governor Of New Mexico. AT 3 40, on motion
Of Senator Cameron, the senate adjourned
sine die.
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13

PHILADELPHIA, April Am intimate
friend Of Miss Mary Anderson is RESPONSE
Bile for the statement that the unfortunate
actress will probably stay abroad for at
least a year, and that in fact it is a ques-
ton whether che will be seen profession
al y In this country for twice that period.
Prior TO her departure from this city, in
private conversation. she bemoaned the
attacks to which she had been subjected
from the pre.s Of different cities, and in
timated rather directly that il had crushed
her ambition to shine TO the best advan-
tage ia her own country. il is among
the probabilities that she will reoiganizs
her company and play in London and
the provinces next autumn and winter.
Her personal losses by the sudden termi-
nation Of her season are placed at $780,
400
Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-04-13

OMAHA, Neb,, April Am the trial of
Miss Beechler for The murder OF III. w.
King the examination Of Geo. w. Scott,
the commercial traveller, was resumed
this morning. His evidence, although
he is a witness for the prosecution. told
in favor of the defense. He said he be-
LEVIED her 10 he insane when she sho,
King. w. b. johnson. a Chicago law
yer, who was employed by II. w. King,
ST., to procure a separation between his
son and Miss Beechler, produced a re
ease signed by her in Quincy in Feb
ruary, 1858, in which she for the sum OF
s4OO %relipquished all rights that she
might have, any promises Of King to
marry her or Al the mother of her x
pected child.