The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1889-09-26
A LITTLE NONSENSE NOW And THEN
IS RELISHED BY THE MOST OF
MEN-AND WOMEN TOO.
Who L0osens up the Hide of His Eel
low-man and Makes Him Laugh, is
a BenefactOr to that Man.

a Benefactor to that Man.
They used to say he was crank,
I thought it merely scandal;
Although he Seems-I must be frank
A little off the handle.
1t is wise child who knows enough
to laugh when papa puts the wrong
end of a cigar into his mouth.-N. r.
Journal
Family jars have broken more panes
of glass than thunder vibrations, and
have caused more pain.-Ne70 York
Morning Journal
Women may be our guardian angels, |
but it is rather risky to give them
pocketful of money when they go to an
auction.-N Y Journal
The supposition that cigarette smok-
ing affects the brain is all nonsense.
Those who have brains do not smoke
them.-Gorham Mountaineey.
eff you'll be mine, my pretty maid.
I'll be your ownest own, he said.
| ''Pu be your sister, replied the maid;
| II have two sisters now," he said
| -BeELetO7ltGsfe ETGn12rer.
When a man affirms that ssthere's
lots of money in leather" don't dis
pute him-purses are made of leather.
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
What a complication! When the
schoolmaster whips one of his girls he
hits miss. When the girl dodges
she misses hit.-PAilsdelbhia Press.
A pocketbook made rattlesnake hide
which is so repulsive to ladies that they
won't touch it, is having quits a sale
among married men.-Pihsbnrg Dis
path.
Man is not the only victim of the
combination craze. Even ducks as
soon as they hatch their eggs start at
once to pool their issues.-BaIf1n'0re
american.
f Medical authorities insist that stimu-
lants weaken the voice, and doubtless
thew do. 1t must be admitted, how
ever, that they strengthen the breath
PHILADELPHIA Press.
A domestic named Angelica Jordan
: has passed over her last name and be-
come a person of her first name. She
t attempted to kindle fire with coa
oil.-Richm0nd Recorder.
: Little Dick-ssDo you go to circus
e es? Circuses iswicked." Little JACK
: -"Yes the big shows is wicked, bu
t the ten cent shows amt. Pop Away
t takes us to them" ."-Nez0 York Weekly
P Sarcastic Guest-"Waiter, how long
have you been in this establishment
u Waiter-Six weeks, sir. "Then yo'
e were not here when | ordered tina
/ beefsteak. Excuse me. ''-2eras Syl
IS ings.
u Those people who were married IN
balloon last Thursday evidently he'll
= the opinion that marriages are mad
in heaven. But what an earthly thin
life must have become since.-B0st0
" Times.
els there wheelright in the dele
is gation?' asked one of the committee
"Why ?" asked another. "Because /
would be the proper man to act
spokesman. "-PiHsbu,sh CAronieI
Telegraph.
e' "How is your friend Beggs7' "E
isn't my friend any longer" "Wh,
to how is that2'' "He did me dead
injury, and l don't suppose he'll ev
consent to forgive me for it. ."-Chic
W, go Ledger.
d; Ethel (entering parlor)-"oh,A ,Agg
I'll so glad to see you. (They kiss.) VIII
YOU are engaged to be marie
"Aggie-"How do you know7'
can tell by the way you kiss. ."-Rot
~ ester Herald.
ne' "Where's your pa, sonny?' "H
its out" "Ma in?" "No; she's ou
,he uBrother in?' "No; he's out" eth
YOU re only one in?" "Naw; ali
in; three out, side out; Pm just
on bases.
A young lady named Key ottere'
lock of hair to gentleman whose ol
nngs of marriage she had declined. He
Piled, with great bitterness, that
lock would be useless to him with
the Key.-DeroH Free Press.
Artist who has just come back tr
we his vacation-I declare can't paint
day. have forgotten all l KIN
l he Model-Oh, don't be discouraged.
won't take long for you to pick up
YOU knew before.-FAegenae Blat
-, HERE AND THERE.
Up in the parlor the young folks sat
en- With each hour the words grew sWee
and | While her father grim,
With a lantern dim.
ass. Sat down in the cellar and swore
vim
As he watched every skip of the mete
eet- - Washington Capt.
Old Wife-ssI'll take the $40 you !
racy me and buy my bonnet this morn
o dear, as you want what's lett to
YOUR hat.' Husband-s'Al
con dearest. I'll go down at once
| in order sixty cent hat for myself
X " y SIN.