The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-04-12

gentlemen. 1t Is headed with his portrait,
and appears i'm the papers of the towns be
operates upon3
"Dr. R. has already remained In M
longer than he first intended, but at the re-
quest of numerous individuals and friends he
win extend his stay one week longer Pa
tients in other towns have been disappointed
by his long stay in M; but they have bis
assurance that this visit viii not be extended
beyond the time stated above
This stereotyped advertisement has favor
of the drum and cymbals Of the mountebanl.
Walk up, ladies and gentlemen, walk up and
show your tongues and have your pulses felt
Further down. this same medical gentle
man falls into the style Of the chimney sweep,
anxious to enlarge his connection: HE thanks
bis many friends and patrons for the kind
ness and patronage bestowed upon him, and
trusts, by pursuance OF the same honorable
business and professional methods and efforts.
to fully merit continuance of samen
In the smoking room of the Germanic ono
day an American. who sat near me, said, adj
dressing me;
Il believe you are going to America to
lecture, sirr'
yes" replied, 81 am"
'Who is booming your show, may ask 2"
be said in the most natural way in the world
must have stared at him like q rustic,
being utterly at loss to understand what be
meant.
Upon getting this Americanism explained
had the satisfaction of finding that my inter-
locutor's question simply meant in English:
"Who is your impresariolp
WELL" thought |, Il am going to have q
lively time in the States, that's evident: this
isa foretaste that is promising" went to
my cabin thinking about the Yankee who
was to 'boom my show"
The greatest 'boomern in America is the
great, the only, the unique Barnum The
personality of this king Of showlnen is not
particularly interesting, except for being
typically American, and one that could not
exist in any country but America.
Mr.. Phineas T Barnum, pursued by fate,
is every five years the victim OF confagra-
ton. His fires happen with terrible regu-
larity. Whilst was in America bis tigers
and elephants were burned out of house and
home Scarcely had the flames been extin-
guished when there were paragraphs in the
papers to say that Mr.. Barnum's agent was
buying fresh animals for the biggest show
on earth, and all over the walls of Americas
cities were to be seen flaring posters repre-
senting Phineas BaInum rising from the
flames like modern phoenix. Appended
was long literary essay which began:
Rising phoenix like from the ashes of my
fifth fire." and setting forth the wonderful
attractions Of the new show which was to be
opened.
Mr.. Barnum holds in small esteem the man
who lets slip chance Of making money.
He would think it quite natural to offer
$1,000 week to Gen. Boulanger to show
himself in his museum, and would think it
very unnatural that the general should re-
fuse such handsome offer The rumor has
it that the enterprising Phineas wrote to M.
Pasteur some time since to try and engage
him. He guaranteed, it is said, $4,000 to
the illustrious savant If he would inoculate
before the American public twice day. 1t
was not much to ask, and the $4,000 would
have been easily earned Barnum, however,
had to content himself with engaging gen
tleman in spectacles, resembling more or less
the famous professor, and he succeeded In
securing four little Americans whom NJ Pas
teur had just saved from hydrophobia They
were inoculated with clear water probably
for a month in all the principal towns of the
States. The society for the protection of
animals, which does not include man in its
circle of operations, made no objection, and
the Golfers of the enterprising Phineas over
flowed with dollars.
Mr. Barnum does not understand how
good offer can be refused He looks upon
everything as being to sell or let, and the
almighty dollar as the master of the world
Ono day he took it into his head to make an
offer for the house in which Shakespeare was
born The English fired up at the idea, and
he had to abandon bis project and be satisfied
with Jumbo.
II every European nation were to become
republic the detSroned monarchs could go
and make their fortunes in America, and the
greatest ambition Of Mr.. Barnum would be
realized
Nothing astonishes an American. That
which makes his conversations immensely
piquant is, as ! have already said, the calm,
natural tone in which he comes out with the
most astounding statements
Ny impresario had just engaged me for a
ecfure season in tho States and Canada
n shall have two Europeans on my list
rext year." he said, ''Nr. Charles Dickens
and yourself. wanted two others, but they
are not to be hadn
THAT is not very iiattering," said |, sbut
who are the two Europeans you cannot geti"
"Mr. Gladstone and Lord Randolph Church
III, he replied, quite calmly.
Then, suppressing the words .Mr." and
lord, " according to the habit of his country
men, be added with sigh:
"Yes, Gladstone would have made a lump.
and Churchill would have been an elegant
success
CHAPTER xxxvL
The Americans have suppressed distances
by bringing railway trains to perfection.