, 1889-09-05
TIE FUNNIEST THING.
= FROG IS TWICE AS FUNNY As Hx
So LOOKS, IF YOU ONLY KNEW 1T.

! 80 N'oSN VIII illC frog 5 COullcd
prc-einInence simply by observation oi
his external architecture rs he posed in
ADULT pIcturesGuencss on a LOG. He
noticed OF cC::Tse, that frog is so built
that all the neck he has is the top of his
head. lie couldn't have failed to Oh
serve that the frog mouth begins where
his shoulders leave off If the observer
didn't note that the frog has to watch
Sut when he sits down or he NAV Doka
ms eye out with his big toe, he failed to
enjoy one of his favorite's best low com
edy hits.
And when it dawned upon him, as If
II must have dawned. that the drum OF
the frogs ear is worn on the outside of
his head. being attached to the gable end
Of his upper jaw, he was of course salts
| he'd that no further evidence was neces-
Sary, and he was ready to take the world
into, his confidence and utter that famous
declaration about the frogs incon!est-
| able claim to be placed on record as the
funniest thing that is. Yet even the
halo OF drollery that surrounds the frog
at this ripe period of its existence is as
| tunereal gloom compared to the humor
| Of his younger days.
FIS EARLY DISCUSSES.
! This observer, whose sententious com
mentary has passed into n provcrb
shouldn't have been content with the
humor of which the mere physical con
tour OF the completed frog is capable
He should have gone back to H.,
when the frog was but =
| atom, involuntarilv
border of seir"
muskrat bu
the wild flag
ing breeze, an rorth
at least $50 -.,rIaccnt dis
penser OF quiniI
He should have sought out that gluti
nous molccule. He never would have
suspected it frog. He never would
have believed that one day that inert
giobule would be bumped up on l. bog
swapping at flies and voicing basso pro
tuntio Serenades 20 the Silly night. He
would as soon have looked for the eyo-
luton of thoroughbred racer from a
wooden saw horse. But that is lust
what that giobule is there for, and if this
insufficient observer had only gone back
and watched it grow up with the coun-
try he would have seen how doubly for.
titicd against cavil he would have been
in declaring that 4 frogs place is at the
head of all embodiment of humor, ami
mate or inanimate, conscious or uncon-
sctous.
The frogs embryor ic idea Of fun is to
do n number OF interesting lightning
changes His masterpiece as molecular
comedian, and his last act in that line Of
business, is to transform himself into the
living likeness and granular structure of
u mulberry. 1t is while making this hor-
ticultural display of himself that the
whimsical creature is preparing for one
of his most dPoli surprises, and lie next
appears III the lively and grotesque char
acter of a fish that has mouth and lows
OF teeth like shecphcad's, two other
mouths like a suckers. the TAI! OF an eel
nostrils three times gs big as its mouth
. pair OF gifls that branch from its head
like the antlers of deer, and the djgos-
tive apparatus Of grasshopper! .All
three of its mouths are in 4 row on the
under side of its chin, tho one with the
teeth being in the middle,
A HOwLIN6 SUCCESS
This gcrcamiRg presentation is known
| TO the small boy as the polliwog and tC
science as the tadpole II is the frogs
first ambitious attempt at being really
| funny. 1t is an instantaneous and cy-
| clonic success. But it IS followed i'll
good time by other changes in the bill
First, the frog, in his character of Pol!i
wog, calls in his antler like gills and
slows them away inside of his head
somewhere. Then he springs pair OF
legs on you. They sprout out on each
side of his body. just aft OF the spot
where his gills aosked in, and the con.
! Iuised observer says:
Hello. There's his fore legs!"
That is evidently just what the freq in
his Iudicrous character wants the oh,
server to think. Tor ii adds to the humor.
} Gus surprise that he has in store for hin
when he suddenly sprouts another pai
of legs, and the observer finds that al
| though the .iTst ones had their root
! close behind the polliwog's ears, the
were, nevertheless. its hind legs, and
that the new legs pop out ahead OF them.
ap6, of course, are the fore legs them
selves. This joke of the frogs Is so good
! that he adds still another change TO his
make up, SO that he can enjoy it himself:
| He gets rid of the little sheepShead
mouth and the two sucker mouths, and
takes on new mouth that reaches clear
across his face, and he looks up and
smiles an expansive smile.
During all the time that the frog mas
auerades as polliwog he gorges himself
on strictly vegetable diet, and if he had
been scooped out of the water and kept
out q few minutes death would have
claimed him for its own. But when la
has got through with his leg show hs
trades off his gills for pair OF lungs
changes his fish heart for the heart of {
reptile, discards his grasshopper intesti
mai arrangement for a regular set of ami
NAL digesters, and hauls himself out o
the water on to bog, or upon the shor,
among the rushes, and cocks his bulgin:
eye up at you in q rollicking way, plainl,
informing you that he would be pleased
to know what you think of him as a full
blown lizard. He hasn't got thing
him that he started in with as
iwog except his cells tail. He hasn'
long land lubber before he begin
ump himself on the back, and to de
the mouth shat Is to become tli'
attraction O! his features when IN
Iates as the finished frog.-Nev
1Sun