Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-07-27

HfA. lu II cry us
rSys feat IT, a. , distance Of ten
After n fourishing and all
comprehensive bow he handed in a
dog cared card we'll marked by fire.
quent cleanings with bread crumbs,
and on it "T. Wellington Hussler,
=. 2. p"
"P'rmit me INTRODUCE meself; have
the honor. Take a seat? Cert One
cheer for Hustler. Ha! How's that?"
And lie pulled up the only vacant
chair in the place and planted it before
the speechless-with- disgust managing
editor.
"Hussler's my name; yes, that's it,
T. Wellington HuSSler, p p p. that's
Patent Poetry Pufer. idea OF nv
own. Big thing. Starting new cen
tury, time for itew ideas-Im the man
for the tine. Coin t'show Won now
how t'revolutionize journalism. Make
the Ledger greatest paper on earth.
Sure thing! LOCKER here just give
you er idea, rough notes.
Now, the old dried and havseed
methods played -'tirely played ont.
Know that, don'tcher? What makes
er paper pay, oh? Why, tiziog. ads,
them's what does the biz, amt so?
Well, locker here. See these notes?
Just dashed off on spur moment, you
Know, butll give you the idea.
Run all your ads in rootrv-sharp,
snappy, f'cetious. I'll write 'em,
twenty-five cents line. It'll take like
gin bitters. CHILDBIRTH cry for 'em.
Boom Ledger. Run up circulation to
toto anywhere, nowhere, every
where! See, Look here" And he
slapped down slip after slip of soiled
paper, with his dirty fingers pointing
out the words as he read them to the
still dumb-with decentralization editor.
See here, one for your tailor. Run
any name in. Listen:
Ben Shippers Goa are all completes;
His YES are of all vestiucnts IL at;
His trousers all have double sea
in ovprcoats he can't be beat
With fashions new he'll fashion You
Into n blooming hoop-de-duda- cn-doo.
"How's that? Sure to catch on, an
nd. of that style. Tailor socks up for
year. sure pop. See!
"Ihcn, look here again. Mother
line of biz:
Planter the gantlamanly undertaken,
General reparer and cabinet maker,
Has his new shop cralnmed from ground to
roof,
With furni,nre, cheap or costly and ane,
And every article in his line.
IN HsIi II Went Ca kots rtheyre Toproot
And his hearsc- " heels sh ne In new red paiut
n you want in his line anything at all,
Be sure and give friend Planter Il call.
There's genius for you-neat and
comprehensive, amt it? Why, ii
your undertaker's got n cents worth of
snap in him, it's good for double
column Al double rates
Nov here's how YOU can make
steak out of your butcher. No charge
Tor that joke. L throw EN- in often
that'r way" And he plunked down
another shabby bit of paper, reading
off
Butcher Bones he keeps the shop
Mherc yoI! 2 che red, ripe mutton chop;
The 4-cens roCnd soup joints. prime steaks
mako
p%r 81 al 91od things in the way OF meat
Cld bDAcs, the butcher, ca be beat.
'Or just take this layout to get vour
wife's bonncts at first cost and an ad.
for the Lcigtr:
Miss ArGoella Cel2stiro De Long
Makes her bJnnets up Ter bong tong;
Ia man jui-r making she $ Just ieune ssec,
Aud her fits are entirely le june Paree
Straw goods hle"ched and pressed in latest
To call on Arabclla is quite worth your while.
And here's oac'll get your dentist,
sure:
-Ierkem, the Dentist he's tho boy
To ease your pnin and give You Joy;
II pour teeth want ei her pulling or plugging
.Iefkeln ) the chap to do the slugsiug.
He yanked four for Us. last week quite slick
Ana we never gaze II GIunt or Kick.
only qua ter II Ii zee he charged u.s. too;
Hell ito the same, good air for you.
"Those two last are neat, if [ do
say it myself. Maybe I'm little loose
in my French on the Arabella suuib,
but then, what's Your compositors and
proof-rcadcrS for if it amt to correct
such slips of the teeming brain of
genius"
The managing editor still said moth
ing, bat there was deadly glare in his
cold, blue eve.
Here's a soft plum for your baker,
now continued the p. z. F., produc-
ing it:
For VIII at or rye The white or brown,
Friend Crustys the best bread man in town;
Upon his pies thor' are 10 flies
II" tina my son, yoI ca bet Your eyes.
Hes got EN-, higd-@lple, casard and lnince,
lit for The Preside Gts wife prince.
Five cents for onc-hali of IL two-inch thick pie
Nobody can call that figure hirh;
And fills iong-scit van. in our vacant srace
No baker in Chicago could gyowl at
p. Z. p. and ad. combiacd, like that,
eh? And here's dodge TO work your
lunch-route:
AT Do5bins' l:ailroal Hotel Caff 20
You can your steaming denny taSsee;
His fftoen-ccnt dinners ne most rcsearchee
And his fsll-caEeH hi EcsV oyer YOU SEE.
Finest drinks he has, Nour heart to chtcr
rive cents buys pint and a half schooner Of
beer;
Hard-boiled eggs also. p. two for five
Dobhin is the man thaJ's all alive
"Now that's just rough sort of
layout of the SCENE, and l can take
right hold now and"
But the managing editor had taken
hold already; dull, sickening thuds
We're thudding all Ground the Office
with the most thudding of the most in
tense thudness.
All that remains of the p. p. p. now
shudders upon II cot in the city
hospital. ChicaGo Lcigcr.