The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1889-08-24
MR.. AND MRS. BOWsER..
In Which Mrs. HOwser Comes TO
the Front as Usual.

TFrom the Detroit Free Press.I
| had a caller the other afternoon
when Mr.. Bowser came home, and af-
ter she had gone he asked:
GLOW long was Mrs. Blank here?"
"About half an hour"
"And you talked about fashions, |
suppose ?"
ayes, mostly; what should we talk
about"
"Mrs. Browser. did it ever occur TO
you that there was anything in life be-
yond millinery and dress goods and
dressmakers?"
"HowW
"Howl Why select some subject of
sense-art, science, mIneralOgy, the
labor question, or self government -
aud discuss 1t with calmuess and jus.
lice, and learn something worth re-
membering for half All hour. You
women folks might as well have been
born with pumpkin on your shoulders
in place of head"
| made 10 reply to this, but deter
mined 10 catch Mr.. Bowser in his own
trap before the week was out. Fortune
favored me. Ii was only two days be-
fore neighbor called over as he was
at work in the back yard, and for two
long hours those men sat down on n
ladder and discussed the question
whether back gate should open in.
wards or outwards, and the advantages
offered by either situation.
Mr.. Bowser contended for the gate
opening outwards, and the neighbor
Tor the opposite, and the discussion re-
suited in MIR. Bowser getting red clear
6ac of the ears and Jumping up 10
eXclaim:
"Well, let's drop the subject right
here. There can be cranks on alley
gates as we'll as on politics and re-
ligion."
''And there can be lunalics outside
OF the asylums," hOtly replied the
neighbor.
"Don't call me lunatic!"
"And don't you call me crank ~
"Go home and hang your old gate 10
The Inoon!'
"Tll hang it according to the rules of
common sense, AID don't yon for
get it,"
When Mr.. Bowser came in TO wash
his hands L observed:
"Mr. Bowser, did it ever occur TO
you that there was anything in life be.
yond hanging back gate?1
He replied with "humph" OF dis.
gust.
"Select some subject OF sense, Mr..
Bowser-art, science, mineralogy, the
labor question or lf-government-aud
discuss it with calmness and Judgment
and learn something worth remember
ING tor half an hourl"
lie looked around in a desperate,
helpless way, and put on his hat and
went of without word in reply. [
wasn't going to let him off on that.
however. When he came home thai
evening l had Mrs. Orfendorf over TO
supper, and as soon as we were seated
at the table l aueried:
Doesn't 1t strike you that Germany's
pohcy on the Samoan questi IN is one
'f conciliation instead of aegression?n
III certainly does" she replied, "but
there may be hidden motive behind
This seeming submission. Trace the
record OF the man back as far as YOU
will, and his policy has been either
aggression or strategy"
MIR. Bowser looked from one to the
other oil us in astonishment.
81 notice." said l, as / passed the
biscuits, "that the Spanish colonial
policy is working toward a radical
change. Incited by the example OF
other and stronger nations, it is about
sessions"
The stare that Mr.. Bowser favored
me with made my flesh creep.
~ do so hope you can come down TO
the next meeting OF the Woman's
Scientific. Political and Literary club"
said Mrs. Oriendorf, as she toyed with
ner strawberries. "Those gatherings
are very, very interesting. At our last
meeting we discussed the Drift PERIOD
and at the one next week we shall dis
cuss 1.-TWO Proposed Amendments to
the Constitution of the United States.'"
"Oh, Id like to go ever so much and
l think L can promise you will be
there. Can Mr.. Bowser come. too?"
"Well, hardly. Men take such little
interest in such things that they are
obstructions."
And Mr.. Bowser sat there, turning
red and pale by turns, until his chair
grew so hot that he had to pretend a
headache and get excused. | antici-
pated an awful tragedy after my visitor
took her departure, but Mr.. Bowser
contented himself with saying:
NOW that that shallow pated, long
uosed old nuisance has finally taken
her leave, let's go to bed.''
He regained his assurance after
couple OF days, however. | was talking
to our 2-year- baby, and talking as
all mothers talk, when Mr.. Bowser
hung down his paper and exclaimed:
mrs. Bowser, you make me tired
talking to tina, young un that way. No
wonder so many children grow up to
be sap headed"
GLOW shall l talk?"
"Ialk sense-the same as Won would
to an adult. He's old enough TO nm.
derstand, and l believe he will appre-
ciate it,"
Every we'll; I'll try"
"IGank you. It's more than | ex-
pected you'd do"
The trial came that night. We had
scarcely got to bed when baby awoke
anu began to whine. He had got cold
and was feverish.
Now, Harry" began, s'snug down
and try to go to sleep. It's nothing
serious, and | objec. to being kept
awake"
lie howled more Justify.
My son." | continued, "this exhibit
ton OF ingratitude astonishes me, aud
insist that you change your course of
conduct at once or leave my house.
fllial respect, it nothing"-
what in the thunder and blaZes are
you talking aboutP roared Mr.. Bow
ser, as he sat up i'm bed.
I'm talking sense to baby"
MOT by jug full, you ain't!"
"Then you try it."
"Ili try it by wringing his neck il he
doesn't shut of steaml He's bowling
out of spite!"
"Then warn him that you may be
compelled to inflict due chastisement,
but do it calmly and grammatically."
@! ! I"
That'S uhof M p.nu,oo, o.:l