davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
In Transforming Days.

An old actor, chatting about his pro1es~
sion the other night, said that he renem-
bered when the transformers Of this couua
try used to go in small troups of three or four
from army post to army post down South OF
on the Western frontier. At each fort they
found soldiers trained as actors to take the
subordinate parts in the plays. Traces Of
this condition OF affairs are still found in
the Territories, so that there are many pri-
Yates in the army who are valued because
of their ability as actors. Stranger yet,
there are yet more actors in the navy. Once
when the old actor was playing in seaport
city close to New York he was called to the
back door by sailor in naval cap and wide
breaches. The sailor proved to be we'll.
known and excellent actor who had yielded
Goo far to his taste for drink. He said that
he was still an actor, though sailor He
said his business aboard ship was to ar
range plays and drill the officers and tars To
impersonate the characters. He said he
was petted and lived like lord.
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
THE DANES PARROT.
a Tough Story Told Ivy 81 Veracious Lacy
OF Ninety-S5x.

a Tough Story Told by ~ Veracioos Lacy
of Ninety-S5x.
A few years ago there still hved III 1os
serene old town Of w, where perhaps
as many families distinguished IN the an
mails Of Massachusetts have originated AS IN
any other town except Boston, lady VINO,
according to the Boston Transcript, main
tanned to her ninety seventh year, and to
the very day of her death, keen and active
mind stored to the brim with anecdotes and
"reminiscences which gave very original
flavor to her always bright conversation.
Aunt H, as her friends always called
her, could talk well upon any subject that
was chosen, although theology was, per
haps, her speciality: it took redoubtable
antagonist to stand up before her on that
topic. She was often visited when past
ninety, by well-known public men, who
found no little inspiration in her discourse.
It was common saying that Aunt d---s
no matter how telling an anecdote or story
was related to her, could snrpass 1t With
something out Of her own experience OK
recollection that would be new to her
hearers.
One day, when she was in her ninety
sixth year, Aunt H was visited Dy
Boston clergyman, who, i'll the course OF
brisk conversation, ventured to tell her the
story of the monkey and the parrot in illus
tration of some point that was made. Thaf
lively anecdote was new to Aunt h, and
the people present were wondering little
with what local Renaissance she ccnla
possibly match it. She heard the story Wat1
unrua1ed visage, and then remarked:
'sIhat must have been very remarkable
parrot, but it seems to me he hardly Gomez
up to Deacon Staples parrot, after all"
ssWhat did Deacon Staples parrot doa"
zone time the deacon's wife was putting
up cucumber pickles in the kitchen, and the
parrot-he was q very knowing bird, and
had been plously brought up in the deacon's
family-was sitting on the back of chair
watching the operation. Presently, when
the deacon's wife's back was turned, tho
parrot slipped up and stole one of tho
pickles out of the dish. She turned around
in time however, to catch him at ii. and
threw her knife at him with such force that
it took all the feathers smoothly of the top
Of the birds head.
"The parrot flew round for some days
IN sore distress at the loss OF his top-knot,
but recovered it in the course Of time. One
day, some little time after this incident q
minister, who had exchanged with our minis
ter, came to spend tue Sabbath at Deacon
Staples. The parrot was in the dinlng-roon
when the family and the minister came liz
to breakfast. The clergyman was very bald;
his head fairly shone. He hadn't more than
got seated at the table before the parrot,
fixing his gaze on the minister, screamed
out:
"Hal ye burned old scamp' been stealin'
pickles!o
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
FITCH
1tch wsa curyus sort OF man.
Built on a i nd OF q skinny plan;

Dfech VIA coryus sort OF q man,
Built on a i nd OF skinny plan;
Little, an an, an holler-cheeked,
Eyed like pigeon, an uosed like hi VIZ
Ugly e.. ST with a voice tibet shreaked,
Yit hevil' one fayor-Fitch could talki
Let him start in, an don't keer how
Busy yeh m Chit be ct hoe er plow,
Plant n er llayin' with clouds in the west
An frogs a-hollerin' fer rain Kerdawk!
Let Fitch e t a-yarnln' an all OF US jest
Laid off whiIso we listened-fer Fitch could
talk.
Seemed like his freckles all dribbled away,
An his stuDby W slxers thet pyeared like hay,
Acterly took on a shine like gold
Ez he oo,ei his words without break er balk,
Whilsc wc-uns hyearin' in the language rolled
From them dry, thin lips, lowed Glitch ldn
talkr
Nobud1y listened at him like me;
Thet's how-come my sweetheart, she
uyearn me brag OF his W t. she said
'tFetch INN to see tne-uore spindlin' gawk!-
Eff thar's half an idee in thet quare shape
head,
I'll gree with you-ns that Fitch kin talk "
So me bein' ruther a harnsum man.
An b m hen plain bucket O BRAN
Iuever thought nothin', but prung him, thet's
I'm still in The market, whilse he's toeiH
chalk,
BAN married 10 ner. fer nissed!t says I,
When discikillickted how we'll Fitch could
talk!
.--Eou Wilder NcG2Qsson, IN n. r. World.
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
USE YOUR OWN LEGS.
The Most Genuine Enjoyment = Healthy
Person Can Have.

Person Can Have.
You who in these days OF vehement
bustle, business and competition, can still hnd
time to travel for pleasure alone; you, VINO
haue vet to become emancipated from tns
lbralldom of railways, coaches and saddle
horses, patronize, / exhort you, that hrss
ind oldest-estabished of all convenences,
YOUR own legs, observes writer IN tns
New York Ledyer Think on your tender
oartings nipped in the bud by the railway
hell: think on the coachman's detesteG
voice that summoned you, furnishing from
= good dinner-table: think of luggage coz"
ided to extortionate porters, OF horses cast
ing shoes and catching colds, OF crampee
legs and numbed feet, Of vain longlngs 70
get down here, and to delay for pleasant
half-hour there; think Of all these manl1olh
hardships of riding at your ease, ana the
next time you leave home. strap your Jug
gage on your shoulders, take your SUCK Id
your hand, aud set forth: delivered 1roo1 ID
perfect paraphernalia OF membranes, ~
go where you will, how you will, the Iree
citizen Of the whole travelling worlds linus
independent, what may you not accofnphsns
What pleasure is there that you can NOS
in this way enjcy9 Are you an artist, you
can stop to sketch every point OF view tnas
strikes your eye. Are you philanthoplst,
you can 20 into every cottage and talk to
every human being you pass, ara
you botanist or geologist you may
pick up leaves and chip rocks
wherever you please, the ivelong
day. Are you valetudinarian, you
NAV physic yourself by natures own slln'
pie prescription. walking in fresh air. are
YOU dilatory or irresolute, you may dawd1s
to YOUR hearts content; you may change all
YOUR plans dozen times in dozen hours:
vou NAV tell the servant at the inn 10 eau
you at six o'clock, may fall asleep again
lecstatic sensation) five minutes after no
has knocked at the door, and may get up
two hours later to pursue your journey WITH
perfect IMMUNITY and satisfaction. For TO
Won what is a timetable but waste papeS,
and 2 s.bcoked placer out a relic OF the DARK
agesa
You dread. perhaps, blisters on your 1ess;
snonee YOUR feet with cold vinegar and
water. and show the blisters after that,
YOU cant You strap on your knapsae& JOE
the first time, and Ave minutes afterwards
feel an aching pain in the muscles at tie oack
Of your neck; walk on, and the achlog WIZ
walk of. How Go we overcome our hrss
painful cutcular "reminiscences OF first EeE'
ting on horse-back2 BY riding again. An-
Div the same rule 20 carrying the knapsaa,&,
and be assured Of the same SUCCESSFUL ree
suit. Again, and uncomprornisingly say
it, therefore walk and be merry, walk ano
be healthy, walk and be- your own masters
walk to enjoy, to Observe to improve, as no
riders canl walk and you are the best per-
ipatetic impersonflcation of genuine hou'
day enjoyment that is to be met with on tae
surface OF this work g. day world.
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
To Cleanse Chamois Leather.

nuke solution Of weak soda and warm
water, rub plenty of soft-soap into the
leather and allow it to remain in soak for two
hours; then rub it well in until it is quite
clean. Afterward rinse it well in q weak
solution composed OF warm water, soda and
yellow soap It mustnot be rinsed in water
only, for then it would be so hard when
dry as to be unfit for use. It is the small
quantity of soap left in the leather that al
lows the finer particles Of the leather to
separate and become soft like silk. After
rinsing wiring it well in a rough towel and
dry quickly, then pull it about and brush it
well and it will become softer and better
than most new leather.
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
woman's Matrimonial Chances.

Why should people keep raising the
question: t'Is marriage a failures" when
the statistics of recorded marriages show
that a womap;s chances to marry are one
fourth of per cent. from so to Sc years of
age; three eighths Of 1 per cent. from As to
so; ~ per cent from 40 to Is; so per cent.
from 35 to 40; 15115 per cent. from 80 to 35;
10 per cent. from Is to 80; 50 per cent. from
20 to g. and 14115 per cent. from Is to 2Os
The average percentages still exceed those
Of any other business speculation.
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
She Anticipated No Trouble.

II can tell you, my DEAR" said wife Of q
years standing to one just newly married,
"it's one thing to manage sweetheart and
another to manage husband.'' ''Oh, ]
shan't have any trouble about that" said
the happy bride. sMa takes that of my
hands. She's had practice.n
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
Sure Death to cloths.

OF the vast number of remedies tried for
DISCRIMINATING that most troublesome pest,
the buffalo moth, the following is SAID to ac'
accomplish the object: Take strips OF red OF
blue flannel Gas these colors are particularly
attractive to them), dipin liquid arsenic and
lay around the edges of carpets, or wherever
the pests are troublesome They will soon
eat desired amount and collapse, to the
entire satisfaction Of the housewife, with
out the least injury to the carpets.
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
She Arose and Was Angry.

A Memphis woman took baking powder
for strychnlne and laid around for five hours
waiting for death. When it didn't come
she arose and spanked her four children
and went over to condole with neighbor.
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
A Wall from Turkey.

SIT is indeed sad,'' said the aged turkey
to his younger kindred, brushing away an
unbidden tear, that in the full flush and
vigor of our young lives we should have our
domes of thought cut off, so that we can
think no more; it is indeed sad to know that
m few short hours our mutilated systems,
stuffed with foreign substances, shall be
served up with cranberry sauce. But oh,
how sadder it is that our last hours on earth
must be made wretched by the low, coarse
Jokes of unprincipled people, who make I'M
feeling references to the height at which we
roost, and 10 the vitrifed quality of our
flesh. It is this that makes my eyes
fountain of tears" The turkeys speech
was interrupted. It became engaged in
hand to hand contest with a man who was
in conjunction with Ratchet, and when the
dust settled down the head Of the turkey
lay on one side Of the fence and the body on
the other.
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
Another Greedy Trusta

The manufacturers of perforated chair
seats have combined Their object can b
seem through, and win be sat upon
The Irish standard., 1889-03-02
THE WAYS OF WOMEN.
Some Queer Features Of the Dry
Goods Trade.
How New York Ladies Manage to Make q
Fine Appearance on Festive Occa-
sions-Val,ity Clothed in Bor-
r0wed Cloaks and Dresses.

II was one of the largest Of the ladies
shopping stores and bundle had just beer
brought in by a wagon driver, writes the
New York correspondent Of the Providence
(R. ~ Journal. stFrom Mrs. Clermont,"
said the driver. 'sAh," said one Of the pro-
prietors who was standing near, 'that is
queer thing. That is very expensive opera
cloak that one of our customers asked to
have sent 10 her home and left over night,
in order. she said, that her husband might
decide upon whether she might buy it or
not. supposed at the time that she prob
ably had a dressmaker at her home en-
ployed to copy the cut and trimming OF the
cloak, in order to make up one
like it Of less costly material. !
knew she could never afford to
buy that cloak, and so naturally supposed
she meant to do as say. But was wrong.
She got the cloak IL use at the opera last
night. 1t was the opening night,
as I afterward saw by the papers,
and when I dropped in she was the frstand
most conspicuous lady saw, on the way to
seat in the box Of some rich relatives she
has up town. She was wearing that cloak,
and suppose has managed to have it de-
scriped for one Of the society papers, AT
these first nights, you know, the names and
the costumes of the ladies are nearly al
ways published"
"Wa hat are you going to do about It'll"
"Do about it," said the merchant; ';why,
thank fortune that she comes here to bor-
row finecies, instead of going to other stores
to get accommodations. SEQ that there are
things about this ladies' shopping trade OF
ours that you do not know. Let me explain
them, You see we have two kinds of Gus
tomers-cash and credit For the cash Gus
toners we take no risks and grant no favors.
For the credit customers we do almost any
and every thing they ask US. We are glad
to get them, and make every effort to swell
their number. Some houses take note OF
where purchases are sent, and, whenever
fashionable address appears on their ship
ping books, write the LADY at that address.
Offering to put her name on the credit list.
Other houses, like ours, dislike to force that
trade, and simply wait until such lady
asks favor OF days or a weeks accom-
mediation to pay fora heavy purchase, OK
comes and asks in plain terms to be allowed
TO run bill here. Then, though she does
not know how eager we are, we jump to &C
The sun., 1889-12-28
Queer Happenings In Maine.

BANGOR, Dec. T.-In Kennebeo county
orchard there are several trees which bear
peculiar kind OF apples. The popularity OF the
fruit consists in the apples being half sour and
half sweet the different fayors being dlstrib-
uted In alternate layers from stem to blow.
In Harrington. Washington county, last week,
two boys found petrifed apple imbedded in
tho soil, six inches below the surface The ap-
pie had assumed the color OF marble. and was
perfectly preserved. even to stem and blow.
weighing llh ounces.
A new and remarkable cause for pension
application is reported by a country newspaper
correspondent in Knox county. This intelli-
gent writer says that Q veteran In his town
wants Goyernmept help because he Is suffer;
ability and chronical Information OF the spon-
taneoua hilarity system" The veteran Is evil
IDENTIFY in q bad Tx. but the correspondents
case Is hopeless.
stead Of hair Is one of the curiosities OF the
Mira. Charles Dickey Of Clinton, aged %. Is
the mother OF eight children. all born at differ
ent births,
4 town In Oxford county held social dance
ln order to raise money for tho purchase OF .
l0arSo.
The sun., 1889-12-28
The Society OF st. Johnslana.

The annual meeting Of the Society OF st.
Johnsland was held yesterday afternoon ut St.
Luke's Hospital. Fifth avenue and Fifty-fourth
street. The annual election OF officers resulted
as follows: President Henry A. Oakley: Vice.
President. the Rev. L. W. Donald; Secretary,
John A. McKim. and Treasurer. Edward Schell,
The Treasurer's report showed an expendi-
ture Of $18,6b3.32 for the support OF the society
homes In st. Johnsland. L. l.. during the past
eleven months This leaves a balance on hand
OF $90.o5 The report also showed decrease
in subscriptions OF $1,000. OF which almost
$4,000 should come from relatives OF the aged
and crippled. who were In the habit Of paying q
institution. but who refrained from doing so
when they found out that the society was car
ing for other destitute patients gratis.
Secretary MchimB report showed that 1853
nersons-37 old men and ll6 children OF both
sexes-had been cared for during the year. OF
over 80, had died. The society, which was
founded by the Rev. DR.. Muhlenberg In the
year 1870, controls over 800 acres of land on
Long Island. about six miles above Northp port,
DThere are about thirty buildings In St.
Johnsland; all OF which are used by the society
Shu Church Of he Testimony Of Jesus, endowed by
endowed by Mr.. John ID. Wolfe: tho spencer
and Wolfe Home, endowed by Mrs. @. 4. Rpen-
GER and Miss Catharne Wolfe; the Fabri
Home. for boys, endowed by Mr.. Egistro p.
Eabrl, and the Sunbeam Cottage, endowed by
also q beautiful cemetery on a knoll back OF
the 81. johns Inn, In which rests the body OF
the founder. DIR. MunlenberR.
The sun., 1889-12-28
4 CONNECTICUT Esocn LRDEM
He Congratulated the Now Husband ant
Loaded the Wife with Christmas Presents

He Congratulated the Now Husband and
Loaded the wife with Christmas Presents.
BIRMINGHAM, Dec. 27.-Mrs. Herbert NJ
Smith OF this place has had an Enoch Arden
experience which has turned out better than
the average. Several years ago. while living In
Bridgeport, she met and married John Luck.
He was an excellent mechanic and worked in
the Wheeler 4 Wilson sewing machine factory.
Their married life was happy until a daughter
was born to them. and then Mr. Luck became
restless. Five years ago he left Bridgeport
suddenly without notifying his wife where he
was going. nor did he write to her. She was
left with her daughter to support. She OBJ
tanned work in one OF the local factories and
with her earnings cared for herself and child
in comfort Time passed. and. hearing moth
Ing from her absent husband she obtained q
divorce. She was yet young and exceedingly
attractive and when she met Herbert NJ. Smith
OF birmingham mutual affection was awak-
ened which soon rpened into love and mar
Christmas eve Mr.. and Mrs. Smith went to
Smiths mother. Luck, who had gone to re:
mote Western city getting M into business IS and and
up his wife and child. He arrived Christmas
morning. and, having no knowledge Of the
qeunonp vGfeS he T to ake lis wife and e
home with him when he returned. and place
them In q position Of comparative af1uence.
He had no difficulty In finding the residence OF
the bell the maid who responded showed him
into the room where Mr.. and Mrs. Smith and
the family sat: The surprise to all was
successor and they shook hands in
friendly way. Luck did not get
sad and broken hearted. He told his story and
Mrs. Smith told hers. Then he spoke TO Mr..
Smith. conRrntulating him on his marriage
and wished the couple good luck: After eat
ing Christmas turkey with his friends he in
vted his former wife to take walk with him.
Their walk brought up at one OF the stores de-
voted to Christmas Roots. and MIR. Luck in
vted Mrs. Smith TO- come In and pick out
out he had loaded her down with gifts for her.
self and his daughter. This morning the cou-
pie parted, Mrs. Smith accompanying her hus-
band back to his home In this place and Mr..
Luck buying his ticket for his tar Western
home, where he says he will remain.
The sun., 1889-12-28
SAYS HE STOLE $4,000
Defaulter Briggs or Providence Goes on .
spree aud Gives Himself UP.

Defaulter Brigrs or Providence Goes on q
Spree aud Gives Himself UP.
When Charles A. Slate, a special constable
and an expressman OF North street. New Ro-
chelle, opened his stable early yesterday morn
ing he SOW strange man in the hay lott The
stranger, on seeing Mr.. States shield, said:
You're an officer amt your Well. have
been hunted to DEATH and want to give my
eelf up"
The man, who was respectfully dressed and
who wore gold watch and chain. seemed to
be suffering from the effects Of spree.
Slate asked him why he wanted to give him
self up, and he replied that he was defaulter
to the extent OF $4,000. Slate took him to the
office OF Justice Stoves. There the man de-
scribed himself rs Leander r. Briggs. aged 38,
n bookkeeper for Foster & Bailey, manufacture
ers Of jewelrv at 60 Richmond street. Provi-
dence. The man also told Justice Steyes that
The Justice sent q telegram to Foster Il
Bailey. and received reply requesting him to
fss bs s S
account for nearly $500 which he had collected
on a note due the firm. The latter, also sent
New Rochelle as soon as possible. Besides his
watch and chain Briggs had in his possession
$22.50. He admitted that he had tai ken the
money due on the note. and that he had fed
from Providence week ago last Monday. He
said he had been an employee OF the hrm Tor
prialed for his own use various sums. until he
had taken in all $50, ,00O. As Briggs was willing
10 go back to Providence without q reauisition
Justice Steves commissioned Constable Slate
to accompany him thither. They started for
Providence on the o'clock train last evening.
Justice Stoves sent telegram to the tirm
notifying them that Briggs was on his way to
Providence.
Briggs has wife and child. and 1t is said he
belongs to a wealthy family In Rhode lsland
1t was evident from his condition that he had
been on prolonged spree. He arrived from
Vernon Tluf60ay evening
and hired q room in Webber's Holel soon
after he retired he caused a commotion In the
house by yelling Ike madman. He threw
sons in the street to come up and get him II
they wanted him. Some time afterward he
the railroad track to New Rochelle. 1t was
after midnight when he got there and sought
shelter in States stable.
The sun., 1889-12-28
4 NOHEl CASE IN CoURE
Suing . 9hoFlR for Damages for ALLOWING Q
Man on jail Limits Out OF His Custody.

Suing . shorlR for Damages for Allowing .
Man on jail Limits Out OF HIS Custody.
NEwBURaH. Dec. N.-Daniel Glynn, pro-
priotor Of the Opera Cafe on Broadway, had o
Walden man arrested for breaking o window.
Glynn did not appear against him, but the
Walden man sued Glynn for false imprison.
mont. and got verdict for $1,000. Glynn
wouldn't pay, and the Walden man had him ar
rested and put on the NewburRh jail limits. He
visited bis iather-in-law at Fshkill one day.
and q Dutchess county ofhcer arrested him
and took him to Poughkeepsie. where he was
placed on the jail limits again. and has been SO
tor months. AL the time living In 5000 style ~
meyer pay the judgment against him.
Now comes novel point In the case said to
have never before been passed upon By tho
courts. Glynn has been in the habit of coming
family. On Christmas Day he was caught
away from PouRhkeepsie. and the Sheriff OF
Dutehess county was served with papers In Q
suit by tho Walden man for damages for al
lowing Glynn out Of his custody. II the Sheriff
mon for the amount. The novel point In the
case ts whether such papers as were served on
the sheriff can be served on holiday. Good
lawyers differ about 1t, and 1t will probably 60
to the Court OF Appeals.
The sun., 1889-12-28
Poison Glven H,m bv M,.tnLe.

WATERTowN, Dec. 7.-At Gouverneur, st.
Lawrence county. John D. Van Valkenburg
lies dead at his homo from the effects of u dose
OF deadly poison taken by mistake Mr., Van
Valkenburg was suffering severely from head
ache yesterday afternoon and went to Fred
Lovacks drug store and asked for five grains
OF antipyrine to cure his headacho. DR., Hossie.
the prescription clork, was out OF town, and
Mr.. Lovack waited on Mr. Valkenburg. and by
an error OF some one gave him Ave grains OF
atropine. depdly poison, instead Of antlpy-
rine. At o'clock In taa evening Mr.. Van
Valkenburg took his medicine. and almost inn
mediately became seriously III. Drs. McFalis.
Allen. and Drury wore called In and did eyory-
thing possible TO save their patient. but at half
past 10 O'Clock. Just two and one-half hours
after taking the deadly dose. he died.
Mr.. Van NRlkenburg WAS we'll known In ST.
Lawrence county. He was ~ years ol nge. and
had been for several years connected with the
bt. Lawrence Pulp Company.