Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-11-15
her arose and went upstairs and made my

cOffee-Of double Streng eth required i'll
made up my mind that before the day was
over l must either conquer or be conquered.
had not thus far been eminently successful,
but reasoned that women were weaker than
men, and if my wife felt the strain as I did
she would not be able to hold out another
day. When I went home to dinner at 5
O'Clock l resolved to take advantage of any
excuse to be violent, and be as violent as pos
sible. AS l opened the front door with my
latch key saw my wife standing in the par
lor. She had been out and had not yet re-
moved her hat and gloves. remembered
Petruchio's attack on his wife's cap Here
was my chance.
"What have you on your head?" 1 asked
harshly.
''My bonnet, dear"
sit doesn't become you."
l confidently hoped that, to avert the storm
she must see was brewing, she would at least
take off the obnoxious hat and lay it on the
table. She did no such thing, but stood re-
garding me with the same mute wonder as
during my former efforts Again and again
| demanded the hats removal, but received
nothing in reply but cold stare At last,
giving way to all the violence / felt and
good deal did not feel, raised my stick,
and, sweeping it sidewise, laid the hat, a mass
of velvet and feathers without form and void,
at the other end of the room.
What followed was so sudden, so unexpect-
ed, SO singular, that never could distinctly
remember how it occurred. At any rate, at
call from my wife, two men entered from
another room and seized me by the arms
One was my own brother and the other my
wife's cousin.
"What does this mean?" l asked dunn
founded
''Take him to the third story back room,"
my wife said calmly to my captors 1--WE
will Keep him there till we know how the
disease turns. If he isn't better tomorrow
we shall have to send him to an asylum"
My God! she thought l was insane
"My dear,"I cried.
''Take him away"
''My dear, you don't mean Arthur
Tom"
''Don't mind what he says; he's not respon-
siblen
By this time was at the first landing.
struggled but it was of no avail My cap
tors were both strong men and carried me to
the third story.
go in there" said one of them, pushing
me into the room from which every article
of furniture had been removed "You can't
hurt yourself there. Stop, let me search you i"
He took my pocket knife to make sure l
could do myself no injury with it, and then
shut the door and locked it from the outside
Locked up for lunatic in my own house
and by my own bride
stood in the middle of the room-there
was nothing to sit on-and commenced to
think. Icursed every character had ever
seen on the stage. I cursed Hamlet, cursed
Lear I cursed Othello-I cursed them ALL
But when l came to Petruchio it seemed that
my curses shot out with all the vivid viru-
lence of the rays of an electric light.
passed three hours in state of modification
and disappointment, and three hours more in
dependency and repentance. 1 began to get
hungry. Nothing since breakfast, and it was
now II p. IN. peeped through the keyhole
and saw my wifes cousin guarding me.
II want something to eat" | called.
''No orders for it" he replied.
Great heavens! was my wife going to
starve me? | ran over my conduct to her
since we had returned from our wedding
trip, and remembered with horror my efforts
to starve her.
It took me just one hour under the reduc-
ing influence of an empty stomach to make
up my MIND TO capltulate
'iCall Mrs Brown" called to my keeper.
heard him pass the word to the maid below.
A light step was on the staircase, quiet
but determined voice to the attendant, ''You
may go now Arthur; much obliged" Then
the same voice to me:
"What is it, dears"
give had enough of this,n Ireplied gruffly.
care you better?"
81 haven't been sick"
She paused while She was evidently
considering
SIS your brain quieter?" she asked.
"Oh, bother! Let me out"
'sYou seem more rational I do hope you
won't have another attack"
''Come, come," said, trying to assume a
triae of unconcern. LETS have no more
fooling."
81 am not quite sure it would be safe to re-
lease you yet"
To this made no reply. WAITED.
81 want to ask you," she continued pres
emily, ''if you are convinced of the folly of
your proceedings"
"Well-yes. I think can say that am,
rather"
"And you won't do SO any more?"
mot during my present happy alliance
with you"
THAT'S very sweet of you. And you'll
attend to your business and let me manage
the house?"
eyes"
Snow promise me three things"
"What are they?'
"First, to go with me to church regularly"
Igroaned. 81 promise"
Second, no wine on our table ever"
Oh, Lordl 81 promise"
''Third, no smoking below the third story"
Thank heaven, that's three. ~ promise"
"Now, my dear, if let you out will you be
good and not do so any more?"
''Open the door. I've had enough of this
nonsense"
She turned the key. stepped out and she
threw her arms about my neck and covered
my face with Kisses That was the end of my
playing Petruchio.
''Peter,n 1 asked, after he had finished, sis
this the room of your confnement?"
eyes; it was stipulated at the time that l
was to be afterwards free only here"
"Your effort was not very wise"
"Not wise?" he asked, much hurt at the re-
mark. ''Then what has the world for two
centuries seen in The Tanning of the Shrew'
to admire? Was Petruchio fool?"
II give it up."-F. A. Mitchell in Belford's
Magazine.