Morning journal and courier., 1889-05-31
FLOW RS.

The Mayfower is so called because 1t may flower in May and then again 1t may not Pittsburg Chroniole-Telegraph. Agent-s'To all owners of houses recom- mend my patent paper printed plaoard, Rooms to let in this house. It is warranted to stick on the house for one year. ."-Flie- gende Blaetter.
 days ago"-a messenger boy standing pen- sively on the street corner" Fogg-"That's nothlng." Bagley-''No, but someone had hung on the boys back a sign, will move about May 1.'"-Exehange. "It's all very we'll to cry, Turn the rascals out, but how can it be done2' inquired the major. the judge. "The legislature turns out more rascals than anything known of."-Ainne- apolis Tribune.
 Ransom-I thought you said you were go. ing to move your house, Smitha Smith-Well, did think of it, but came to the conclusion it couldn't be done. RansoM-Why not?
 l Smith-The mortgage would break the jecks.-Burlingto Free Press. Deacon Godtrey-"Whas a beautiful dis pensation of Providence 1t is that the mind l of man has been so constituted that the memory of pain and trouble becomes fainter and fainter as times go on." Dr. Bowless - "It's pretty tough on us doctors, though, 1 when we come to collect our bills. s."-Terre Haute Express.
 Country cousin Gas the dessert goes round l-Oh! give me that one. The smooth, red
 checked apples are always the best. I wasn' brought up on farm for nothing. City cousin (sampling the pretty cheel ] nearest hin)-And wasn't brought up il 1 the city for nothing. It's the same witt pretty girls.-Judgs.
 Grocer-so you've given up drinking l Uncle Rastuss
 Uncle Rastus-Yes, sab, I hain't teachet 1 CT drap iR fo' weeks.
 Grocer-You deserve great deal of credit Uncle Rastus-Yes, sah. That's jes what i sex, an I was gwine ter ask yo', Mistah Smif l eff yo' cud trus' me to her ham.-Life. 1 In many parts of China the Bibles given
 to the natives by missionaries are used in the manufacture of cheap boot soles-whioh are
 not the kind of souls the Bible is intended to
 benefit. But the heathen in his blindness doesn't know any better. Now in Amerios it is different. In many parts of this coun- 1 try Bibles are used for pressing ferns ar6 l autumn leaves, and are frequently placed or
 a ohild's chair to elevate the little one.- Norristown Herald.
 Of an Inquiring Mind.-"Keep away from l that" ssid restaurant keeper to an Irshnar l who waa standing in front of a newly arrived box of turtles holding his finger in eviden pain; "what are you doing there, anyhow.
 "1 wor Investigating" Investigating
 what" "I wor trying to see which was thu head and which was the tail of the baste ove
 there in the corner of the boxF' "What dc 1 you want to know that fori" "I've curios ity to know whether I've been bit or stung. l i-Merchant Traveller.
 A Forcible Illustration.-"What do yo,
 do when people come in and bore yonf' 1 warm personal friend asked of a merchant
 who is very bright and knows just when tc 1 interfere, tells me that gentleman is 1T
 the counting house waiting to see me or 1 important business" "Ha, hal That's
 capital way to get rid of bores who don' | know" Just then the boy opened tht door and sung out: "Gent in the counting,
 house, sir, waitin' to see you on important
 business. ."-Exchange.