Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-09-28
Saturday Smiles.

This promises to be the most delightful fall
| since Eve's.-OaTay (Col) Solid NuLdoon.
When cold weather comes charity begins to
hum.-NeD Orleans Picayune.
A New Jersey man has applied for pension
on TIE ground that he contracted epilepsy
while in the army. He ''ft' in the war, it
Sc ems. Chicago Herald
Electricity is life,'' is favorite saving with
fakirs at agricultural fairs. But when you
touch dead" wire In this city you soon come
to the conclusion that electricity is death; or.
if you don't, your friends do for you-Ne,c
York Tribune.
After all, the principal race troubles occur
in paying the bets and walking home.-San
Francisco Alta.
The man who witheringly wrote ''Stop nv
paper" will be found on the Cronin Jury
Bloomington Eye.
There is silver lining to every cloud-.he
man who can't get credit is never worried by
dups.-Boston Courier.
"What does the lover bee say to his sweet
hearth" asked the snake editor.
Il am not acquainted with the language Of
insects replied the horse editor. "What does
he say?''
He says, % honeycomb to me.'"-pmsburo
Chronicle.
"Has your young friend experienced the ad-
vantages Of travelp' Il should say he hadl
He tells me he has seen base ball PLAYED in
every league and association city in the coun-
try."-Boston Herald.
A good many people know the value of a dol
lar who do not realize the value of hundred
| cents.-Son,erriue Journal
The old man in the play is forever talking
about twenty long years ago." Just as thoupR
| there were long and short years that could be
picked out according as the notion seizes you.
Teas Siftings.
Why will not lecturers on woman's rights
confine themselves to the subject? They are
continually talking about woman's WRONGS
ST. Paul Pioneer Press.
The word "cupalo" is still more popular than
| ries. Where ''cupola" is heard once ''cupalo''
is heard a hundred times It is doubtful IL
even stuffed club would do any good in this
case. The time may come when people will
try not to say 'tarpauleon" for "tarpaulin, :"
but IL looks as If ''cupaio" will always be with
us.-Dayton (Ohio) Democrat
young couple attracted considerable atten-
| ton at the Chase house. Squirrel Island re-
Gently, by their ELUSIVE exhibitions of affec-
ton. Considerable discussion as to whether
they were married or were going to be wen
| rest by remark of the young lady. Eyes. we
| were married in city hall. New York, and il
only cost us q dollar. Wasn't that cheap?''
The crowd Uttered and excused all further an
tics.-Augusta (Afe.) Journal
One Of Kansas City's many charming youne
HAiSs, "uo Mas Noceuty returned from visit
| to Chicago, relates an experience which the
malicious people OF st. Louis will think anus
ing. Desiring pair Of shoes. she entered a
| store on State street. "What size, pleasep"
| asked the saleslady. "Twos." The astonished
clerk seemed Lost for Q moment When abe
recovered she said You will have to 20 to the
'ehildren's department. for that size. "-Eansas
Oily Tunes.
Beware Of the ''tooby trap" In other words.
II you are asked to be seated In rocker when
making social call, don't rock. For II YOU do
your entertainers viii set you down as q social
chump and drop you from their list il they
happen to know about this test The booby.
trap z doing deadly work in Philadelphia
AeU York Tribune
A Very Sad Occasion.-Mr. Biznis--"Whsv
but I'm tired outv'
Mrs. Biznis--"What Is the matter?"
Mr.. Biznis."The second bookkeeper asked
me for halliday Of to attend his aunt's fune-
raj and, like smart Aeck, said would 20
What was the scorer"
Mr.; Biznis-Thats Just whore got fooled.
myself: he really was going to his cunts
funeral-Tsrre Haute Easpress.