Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1889-06-06
THE LIME.KILN CLUB.
Matters 0! Grave Import Discussed.
Suppressing a Professor.
detroit Free Press.


detroit Free Press.l
DE subieck of our discushun dis cave
nin,," said Brother Gardner, as the meeting
| opened in due form, ais, DO We Expeck
Too Much?' 1t ar matter dat hev de-
voted heap O. thought to, an hev cum
to de conclushun dat we do Las mite
when went to bed l had twelve chickens
in my coop. I expeckted dar would be jist
twelve dar when l woke up dis mawnin'.
Had / any right to? No, sab; but when /
found only seven left 1 jumped Up an
Gown an felt dat de whole would was agin
me.
I'VE expeck to 90 right along frew life
walkin' on our ears an feelin' as peart as
y calf. an when sickness seizes us we pear
to be 'stOnished dat sich things kin be.
Il lend de Rev. Penstock dollar, an /
expeck he will repay me Saturday. /
haint no right to expsck it, but do, an
git left. Mebbe 1 doan' git it fur
month.
"As human beins ar unreasonable. We
goes slosbin' around like steam bullgine,
specktin' every body will cl'ar de road an
Civ Us free track. We doan' count on
throat an lame backs an we reckon on
dodgin' droughts, freshets, blizzards an
yaller fever"
Shindig Watkins beggen to differ with
the president. He argued that a person
was born into this world to take comfort
He had a right to expect good weather; q
reasonable cash income, lots of holidays
and the right to keep seven dogs. Why
To fin hoi1
on the calf OF his leg? 1t is more reasona-
bic to expect that it would appear on some
other mans leg. 1t wasn't expecting too
much, as he viewed it, that the hens he
left peacefully rOosting on pole at six
o'clock in the evening shouldn't be ON deck
at six in the morning.
The Rev. Penstock, who bad been very
uneasy for the last five minutes, now arose
and inquired:
II would like to inquire if de Cheer
claims dat owe him dollar?"
mo, sir; not jist now." replied the Chair.
81 would furder inquar' if 1 ever bor-
rowed dollar of de Cheer and didn't re-
turn it?"
"You hev allus returned it, sab. 1 used
your case simply to illustrate. If you had
borrowed a dollar of me an hadn't re-
turned it dar' wouldn't be muffin to 'lus-
trate. Did you wish to speak on de ques-
tion?"
mo, sab. simply desiah to cl'ar my
world"
Den you kin sot down. Your finanshul
reputashun ar way up in G."
gar Brudder Lightfoot in de hall dis
evenin?" asked the President as he looked
anxiously around.
"Yes, sah," answered the brother, as he
bobbed up with energy and dispatch.
please step dis way, sab. Brudde-
Lightfoot, understands dat you has lately
been callin' yo'self professor"
"Yes, sab. 1 plays on de fiddle"
"Oh, dats it? You has also been wear
in mighty high collars"
Eyes, sah."
SCOT good clothes ?"
eyes, sah."
"Talkin'b bout rentin' box in de posofis
Ih'r?"
"Yes, say"
Am you is smokin' reg'lar cigars? ?"
"Yes, sah."
Ar dat dimun pin you has on?"
IN not quite. sah."
"An' dot watch chain all go,6?"
"Nnot all sah"
Nov, Brudder Lightfoot, look a-yere
You is behind in your rent, head ober heels
in debt, an your chilPeu hain't got shoes to
60 to school. hear of you loafn' bout
saloons and standin' on de co'ners. Pm
gwine to gin you jist one week to drap
that purfessOr bizness an hunt fur job.
If you do it, we'll an good. If you doan'
do it dis club kin dispense wild your pres-
ence. A puIfessor ar all right when he
purfesses, but purfessor who saws fiddle
fur beer while his wife rubs wash board
fur grub am about de moas' onery critter
on airth. De meetin' am now disiourned.n