The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1889-12-07
BILL SHORTS LETTER.
Harrison Apprehensive-.
Bill Devises IL Plan to
Dispel His Melan-
chOlia--The PhOnO-
graph as a POliti-
cal BOOme-
rang.
TAlex Il. Sweet In Texas Slftings.l
WASHINGTON, Nov. 8.

w ASilNfoN, AoNsO'
My Dear Johnny:
Sam Doozenbury's Mastodonic
Minstrel Aggregation has been
giving performances to crowded
houses here in Washington.
Doozenberry is an old friend of
mine. have known him for years
but I'll give you our conversation,
which will explain things quicker:
al suppose, Doozy, you know that
a tepid friendship exists between
myself and President Harrison,"
said l, thinking to awe Doozy.
"All right, Snort, I'll keep quiet
about it. I'll not give you away
but you ought to drop him and go
into some Legitimate business" re-
piled Doozenbury, who leans to-
wards the Democracy.
"Doozy, want you to do me q
favor"
"Snort, I'll make any sacrifices
for you, except l don't want you to
bring Harrison around here and
try and introduce him to me. |
draw the line at Indiana Presi-
dents"
"You know, Doozy, one of my
duties is to cheer up Harrison
when he has the blues, and now
that Dave Hill has been sneering
at Cleveland and making him un-
popular, Ben feels pretty bad"
ash Cleveland is the source of
Ben's depression ?"
eyes, Ben is not like the sky. 1t
is most cheerful when it is the
bluest. 1t is not that way with
Harrison"
"You ought to keep him out of
the Blue Room"
"That wouldn't help him. What
he needs is some sort of an ovation.
He hasn't heard anybody say
lHurrah for Harrisonn in long
time now"
"Well, Snort, if I can help you
in getting up some bogus Harrison
enthusiasm, I'll do it for your
sake"
"You can. A feature of your
minstrel shown is a trick phono'
graph, from which you grind out
sayings of distinguished men,"
swell, what of that?"
"i'll blacken my face and work
that phonograph. I'll say: Lister
to the voice of that pure patriot
BENJAMIN Harrison Then II
grind out something about civi
service reform. simultaneously 6
large portrait of Harrison will ap
pear on the stage, the band viii
strike up, Hail to the Chief' The
vast audience will rise like one
man and the cheers for Harrison
will be deafening. Then the ole
man will smile oRco more like /
Florida alligator"
"I'm not so shure of that" re
piled Doozenbury. "At Indianapo
lis got off something favorable t.
Harrison, and in consequence w
lost so much money that the end
men had to sell their very bones t.
raise money enough to pay thei
board bills. If had said anything
more in favor of Harrison, nigh
now be hunting for lail splinters il
my legs and smelling of tar That
the sort of popular idol Harrison
is where they know him. That
why l dispise him."
"But, Doozy, it's different i
Washington"
"I'm not going to take any FOOLS
chances, but you can say what yo
please in favor of Harrison on m
monograph"
The National Theatre was crowt
ed. In box sat the ept ire Blain
tribe, which struck me as slittl
peculiar. The phonopraph specia
ty was the last thing on the pr'
gramme. Doozenbury sang
touching ballad that brought teal
to many eyes. 1t was entitled "(
where did Mother Hide the Pie ?:
Then came out and smiled q
the audience. I have not snicke
ed since, Johnny. 1 said.
"Ladies and genermans, dis al
Edison's miraculous phOnograpl
what produces the human voic
/ simply turns de crank, and va
Will hear de words OBJ dat gres
statesman and ppre patriot"
"Blaine! Blaine! James
Blainew roared about half I'll
audience, while the rest cheere
for fiYovey Cleveland.
AS soon as 1 could catch m
breath and there was II pause,
yelled back: "No that good man
Ben Harrisonw