The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1889-04-15
WIT AND WISDOM.

child's account of dogs mode of soothing
MS mortified vanity when he has had an unsuc-
cessful encounter with a cat;
III there's no trees just around the dog gets
the cat in the corner Of a door or two brick walls.
Then the cat makes her body twice as big as
mnat Is Iesn ana bone, by 81 ndng her hairs up
strate, and she spits and sneezes All over the dag
80 ne cant see what she's doing OF. Then while
n nes ne ; ms eyes bit she scratter him in The
aaosss, Mhleh you know. of all parts of the dogs
nesh, It's nose has got the littlest skin over IT,
aon might say as there is skin, only bit of
nsnng nook, and he runs right away Thinking
70 nlsSet as he thought the cat was a little ode
"heh ne see II IN the yard" London Spectator.
Awoman who Is weak, nervous and
sieepless, and who has cold hands and feet can
NOT reel and act like well person. Carter's Iron
rms equalize the circulation, remove nervous
ness and give strength and rest.
Now. sir" said the attorney for the defense
knitting his brows and looking severely at the
witness, "you say Iyou can remember the exact
time during the forenoon at which these events
TOOK place, because you'd been fishing In the creek
Tor three hours. Is hat correct9p
IT is" said tina Witness
II ASK you now II you can remember how
i many fish you had caught and what Was their
IN, II hadn't caught fish. Hadn't had a blamed
Wen have TO change our .tactics.o WHISPERED
te ns itawyer I'VE never can impeach this mans
When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss. she chung to Castoria
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria
Here was Ia private soldier who would have
made good judge. He would have known how
to tcOnStrue the law tho nhraaa 10 CO &c 70
get justice done.
Two men were cooking a fat fowl at their camp
fire, when corporal shifted the unaccustomed
''Hullo, boys! where did YOU get that chicken9,,
'0h, we confscated him for talking treason"
Talking treason! What do you mean? Chick
me, but they can crow; and as sure as you live
we caught this rooster this very afternoon, crow
Ing with all his might for JEFF Dayis.n
The corporal passed on.-PiOneer-Press.
A mans wife should always be Tn
same especially to her husband, but II she /,
weak and nervous, and uses Carter's Iron Pills
sne cannot be, for they make her 'fee like
different person." they all say and their hus
bands say so tool
Teacher-A man, meeting farmer with
drove of sheep, said, Good morning, friend, with
your hundred sheep" The farmer replied, Il
have not hundred sheep; but If had as many
half, should have "A hundred" Now tell me
how you would 90 TO work 10 find out how many
he had.
Schoar-Count them. guess that would be
the quickest way.
20 TO be dead and done with the trouble
That fills each day with dreary pain"
This is the moan of many a woman
Who thinks she can never be well again.
st were better for me and better for others
II were dead" aud their tears fall fast.
Not so, not so, o wives and mothers,
There's bow of hope in the sky at last,
and it tells you that the storm of disease which
has spread Its shadow over you will give way to
the sunshine of renewed health II you are wise,
and try DR.. Pierevs Favorite Prescription. II
can and will effectuay cure all female weak
nesses and arrangements, ami no woman who
has not tried it need despair for trial will con-
vince her that it is the very thing she needs to re-
store her to the health she fears forever lost.
To cleanse the stomach, liver and system gen
orally, use DR.. Pierce's Pellets. 25 cents.
Opulent Banker-Mr. DE Smith, you have
served me faithfully these many years; and on
this anniversary OF the day you entered my EN-
ploy, desire to present YOU this keepsake"
DE smith accepts a prOffered envelope with