The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-12-31
new YEARS RESOLVES.
If You Don't Want to Take
This Advice, Why Find
Something Better
to Do.

nation of good resolutions. Nobody is
SO good that he could not be better. Every
body can resolve to do something next
year, that he has failed to do this. For
instance, Herb Potts might resolve to
grow a foot and a half more the next
year.
Nick Furey-Never to wear that knee
breeches and long stockings Bicycle dis
guise into the City Clerks Office again.
Miss Kennedy-To keep her telephone
ear on the outside of herhead
Tommy Halsted--Should resolve to
change his MONDAY diet from peanuts
and water.
Mayor Simon Kelly--To decline more
offices.
Mayor Cleveland To be Mayor again.
Or how would it do to raise beard?
Charlie Jordan-To remain awayefrom
Trenton this winter.
Con. Rooney-To get married.
DIR. Gordon-To ascertain the cause of
typhoid fever.
John Parnell Feeney-Not to back the
losing horses at the Gutenberg.
John A. Brown-To complete the Hall
of Records.
Captain Farrier-To have but one best
girl.
Christy Smith-To stop flirting
The Rev. G.. II. Benson-To become a
Christian again.
Elk Postmaster Kelly-To let somebody
guess the number of those beans.
Martin Ward-To secure the reduction
of interest and higher price for working
mems claims
Bill kern-To remain out of politics.
Sheriff Dayis-To continue in politics.
John McPhilips-To let his whiskers
grow longer.
Dick Garrick-To smile oftener.
Chief Murphy-To shake the Grippe.
M
Judge Lippincott-To have no mercy
for wife beaters.
Liquor Dealers Association-To sign
the total abstinence pledge.
Prohibitionists-To take an occasional
cocktail.
Mike O'Mara- Never to be an election
officer again.
Jacky Lynch-To close his dance house.
Billy German-To get some new pieces
for his phonograph.
George Douglass-Not to talk SO much
with reporters.
Danger Budden-Not to be so terror in
spring.
Billey Vidal. Frank Molten-To write
some more verses for their excellent top
ical song.
Sam Hathaway devote more time
to bowling.
Frank Robinson-To cultivate his poet
icai talent.
Charles D. ]. Noelke-To swear off
politics.
the Jersey City Athletic again.
John Bacot-To secure all the water
contracts he can.
w G. E. See. Not to desert the Repub-
lican party.
Lawyer Midlige-To be careful how he
monkeys with political honors.
Clerk Gillespie, of Taylor's Hotel-Not
IN Na fnn wi ho boc oh tr,
use his new stick.
Charley Thomas-To look out for sharp
ers.
Jimmy Connolly-No5 to risk high
stakes on the Gutenberg racers
Morris Boland-To keep away from the
Saturday 'mat's."
f. g. Wolbert-That the showing to be
made by the Hudson County Democratic
delegation at Abbett's Inauguration shall
not be eclipsed.
Dan McAghon-To be private secretary
to Mayors ad infinitum. It's SO soft a
snap
George Bogart-To hold his big pull
with Colonel George B. NJ Harvey.
Charley Hosford-To become president
of the Bayonne City Republican Associa-
ton and chairman of the Sixth District
Association.
HenryP Simon-To stop mixing ginger
ale, of his own manufacture, with Col
onel Browns rye
Colonel Mike" Brown-To shoot the
first fellow wh6 steals his SUNDAY MORN
ING NEWS from the reading room.
'Bill" Taylor-Never again to look for
the position of inspector of election.
Ex-Sheriff Heintze-To let some other
fellows win bowling badges, until the next
tournament.
Freeholder Pfngsten-To abstain from
holding any more caucuses all alone by
himself
"Win" Aymar-To swear off accepting
any more political nominations.
Moritz merschlag-Never to at
tempt again TO beat Perry T. Cumberson
at billiards, unless the latter will dis
count him.
Surrogate O'NeiI-To make himself
just as gallant as President Furman at
the Berkeley Club receptions.
Stephen Kessler-To swear off on jokes
for full month
Mr.. ?. Merseles-To have his property
assessed at it's full valuation or know the
reason why.
The bachelors of the Heights--To make
up their minds to discountenance the
drinking of champagne from beer glasses.
Counsellor Henry A. Gaede, Sr.-To
accept the nomination for Assembly next
fall.
Commodore Fackert and that enthusi-
astlc Caledonian, John McInness-To
SWGhT Oil OH AolI obutiCS blA4 nV-hu T.
Captain Nose Newton-Never to appro-
pirate another goose,
Ernst Appel--To drink less seltzer and
more wine.
Captain McNulty-To bring back the
winning smile characteristic of him in
younger days.
Philip Pattberg-T That the Arions shall
have a most successful year.
Siegfried Hammerschlag-To make the
banquet of Allemania Lodge big event,
and to get his just proportion of the
supper.
Captain Whyte, of the Cartarets-T To
swear off on dancing. So viii "Ras. F"
Lewis.
Commissioners John P. Feeney-To pur-
chase a wig, it the growth of the bald
spot" increases
Assemhlyman Andrew J. Boyle - To
abandon all social festivities, and settle
down as becomes a statesman.
Gus Hennbrock-To have nothing more
to do with horses excepting such as may
be found Mt his place.
Brer Chrlstmas-to settle his financial
difficulties with his flock.
Health Inspector Benjamin-To keep
on abating more nuisances than he finds.
Alec McLean-To be managing editor
for the World.
Joe Donohue-To never chase an anise-
seed bag again and call it fox hunt.
DR.. Benedict-To drive Ehis bicycle only
seven days a week.
George Eari-To retire as president of
the Fl. Q. w. after the next term.
Arthur I.oud-To keep up the enthusi-
asm ana good will in the Bowling