Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-01-25
PARENTS AND CHILDREN.
The Changed Relations of the Former
to Their Offspring.

From the New York Mail and Express.
The attitude of parents toward their chill
dren has changed much since our fathers and
mothers were little boys and girls. Then the
parents were feared more than loved. and
though they controlled their families admire
bly,, we doubt whether their system was in
the long run the best one for the child. Pa
rents did not make companions of their chill
dren; they did not put themselves enough on a
level with them to win the confidence of the
little ones, consequently the children looked
upon them as persons to be respected and
obeyed, but did not consider them their
friends. The familiarity between parents and
children in these days has been much censured,
but, granting that we have gone too far in one
extreme, we would not wish to 60 back to the
other-the strict system of our grandparents
happy medium between the two is what we
need. It is possible to retain all dignity and
not hold aloof from the children. The trouble
now does not come from the fact that children
are so much freer with their parents, but from
other things.
Honor thy father and thy mother is some
times an impossible thing to do in the heart,
though that does not excuse US from doing 1t
in action but parents do not make it so hard
for your children. Command their honor and
respect by being SO consistent that they will be
forced to give it.
THE sADDEsT THING IN THE WORLD
is to see a conscientious child trying with all
its might to preserve the right attitude toward
its parents, but being constantly foiled by acts
of inconsistency in them. A little girl said to
me the other day: ''What shall do? How can
be Christian? l cannot honor mamma and
papa" She went on to tell me how that morn
ing her mother had, in narrating some little
incident, exaggerated so much as to make it
appear entirely different from what happened.
This was only one case. In thousand little
things she showed the same weakness and mac
curacy. The child is naturally very truthful.
and with the clear-seelng eyes of childhood
sees all these little faults and condemns them
Is it any wonder that she sometimes reproves
her mother III what our grandmothers would
have called a most presumptuous ana impu-
dent way! OF course, as she grows older she
will learn that there is much to be borne on
both sides, and that her mother is only human
and she must at least show the same forbear-
ance toward her as toward other people. But
it gals to be obliged to see glaring faults in
the ones above all others it is our duty to love.
1T Is QUITE COMMON THING
to see parents reprove their children severely
for some act that they have never been taught
the wickedness of, and when they do not make
the men and women they wish the children
have all the blame to bear, though it is proba-
bly, the fault of the parents. 1t is almost i'm
childhood, and most parents do not begin
early enough in their training. One family l
have especially in mind. The girls and boys
are nearly all grown now, and they are remark
ably bright and intelligent but they lack the
little refinements and do not pass for their
worth in society. Their parents did not give
these matters enough attention. they did not be-
gin early enough to see that their children were
forming habits that they would be ashamed
of in maturity. Now they are disappointed in
the result. The father is studious man, and
left the management of the children to his wife,
who is good woman, but not woman who
plans and works with system to carry out her
plans. she allowed things to drift too much,
or took her training notions by spells. She
sees the defects now and blames the children.
She sees others inferior in real worth taking
their places ahead, because they had better
training, and wonders at it,
IN SPITE OF PRINCIPLE
and noble endeavor to discharge their whole
duty in the matter there will always be in the
hearts of these boys and girls bitterness to-
ward their parents that no knowledge of their
goodness in other respects can quite annihi-
late. They will always feel that justice has not
been done them. that their parents have not
discharged their whole duty. Their social life
is limited, they cannot choose their associates.
they are obliged to take lower rank than they
deserve. But these parents are happy COM
pared with those who have themselves to
blame for some great moral faint in their chill
dren. If parents will make it their aim to see
that their children can have nothing to re-