San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-12-07
WOMAN'S IDEAL MAN.
Mary J. Holmes on Qualities In
Men Most Priced by Women.


Written for the Cincinnati Times-Star.
: I:have been asked to give my opin
ion as to what qualities or actions o
men are most pleasing to women, anC
most conducive to their happiness
If there were but one woman in the
world, and / were that woman,
could answer that ques ton easily, fol
L know exactly what pleases me in a
man and could tell it in few words
But the name of woman is legion, and
every woman has her own ideas, and
these ideas change as the years go by,
| until, seen in full glare of our sum-
mer life, or through the spectacles
| which more sober autumn puts on,
the man who, ian our springtime, was
our ideal of all man should be, falls
from his high pedestal and the
pieces of our shattered idol are not
worth picking up.
When Mrs. Jones, in her early girl
hood, married Mr.. Jones, she thought
him the one man In all the world who
could make her happy, and his rough
ness and swagger and coarse good
humor pleased and amused her, for
there was in her nature something
which responded to- his. But, given
the same advantages, women polish
sooner than men and are quicker to
adopt the little customs of politeness
and refinement, and, although Mrs.
Jones is not yet so refined that she
can not enjoy herself, she has learned
to blush at her husbands roughness,
and shivers at his coarse, loud talk.
Mrs. Brown likes to have her hus-
band smoke, and enjoys the smell of
his cigar, while Mrs. Smith detests
tobacco, and the smell of cigar
makes her sick. Mrs. Wilkes likes
her hus band to dine at his club, be-
cause it gives her more liberty to Cos
sip and visit, while Mrs. Tubbs cries
if she is left to dine alone. And so
one might multiply the list of women
whom the minor actions and habits of
their husbands make happy or miser-
able.
But it Is not altogether with the
Mrs. SIN iths, and Browns, and
Joneses that this article has to do;
nor ) ct with that class of women who
marry the man they know to be a
drunkard, saying, as did a young
girl of my acquaintance, that they
would marry him If they knew he
would be brought home every week |
in state of intoxication. That, T
suppose, is love; but of the kind
of which 1 know nothing from per-
sonal experience. 1 could not marry |
a man who drank, or gambled, or |
swore, or made vile remarks about |
women, holding them all as low as
low as himself, or who had not as |
much or more brain than myself. !
Still there are plenty of girls who |
can and do marry just such men |
and seem reasonably content.
And thus the puzzle grows as to the |
quality in men most priced by the
better class of women, for | do not |
call her of the better class who will
lingly and knowingly promises to love
and honor fool or rOue or swearer
or a gambler or drunkard. She may
be, and often is, in the so-called high
er ranks, where money reigns SUI
preme, for money will buy nearly ev-
erything and every body, and 1
should sometimes be tempted to think
it the golden virtue which my sex
prizes the most in men, did / not |
know many a undetermined woman
who has chosen to be poor with the
man she loves rather than rich with |
the one she does not.
To judge others by ones self is said |
to be righteous judgement, but is not
always a safe rule to follow in draw
ing conclusions, and since thinking
of this article have sounded several |
woman with regard to their likes and
dislikes in husbands, real or pros
pective. | asked young girl with
positive opinions, what trait she |
would like best in her hus band. if |
she had one, and her answer was
prompt and to the point: "I'd want |
him to have mind of his own, and
not be bossed round by his wife,
The reply was startling, but had
in it a ring of common sense and
truth, for much as a woman NAV
like to boss her husband, and pleas
ing as the recreation may be, she
would in her heart respect him more
if he sometimes took the reins in his
own hands, even if he upset the
matrimonial car, or drove it into
domestic cyclone.
| asked another girl, with no posi-
tive opinions, and her answer was
characteristic: "a man is man
any way, full of corners and quirks
and cranks But we all have to have
one, l suppose, and so 1t does not
matter much, If he is only nice, and
lets US have our own way"
Another, frivolous butterfly,
would like a handsome man, who
stands six feet in his boots, and can
dance without stepping on her train,
and making guy of himself.