Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1889-05-23
sTORYErTES.

story is told of a Mr.. Norton, which
records Que of the youthful Disrseli's
caustio strokes. Disraeli was dining at
Norton's house. The host praised a par
til uiaI wine on the table, to which Dis
raeli agreed. "Well," said Norton, ST
have wine twenty times as good in my
cellar" "No doubt" said Dizzy, look
ing round the table, "but my dear fell
low, this is quite good enough, for such
canaille IS you have got to-day Every
body saw the point of this but Mr.. Nor
ton.
~
One of Napoleon's veterans, who sur
vived his master many years, was wont
TO recount, with great glee, how he had
once picked up the Emperor's cooked hat
at review when the latter, not noticing
that he was \ private, said, carelessly:
THANK you, captain "In what regi.
ment, sirl" instantly asked the ready
witted soldier. Napoleon, perceiving his
mistake, answered with smile: "In my
Guard, for l see You know how to be
prompt" The newly made officer re-
celved his commission next morning.
~
One Mr.. Holmes, hurry ing along the
road TO catch train, hailed Farmer
Jones, who passed him in q gig, Were
upon Mr.. Holmes asked for ride. Farmer
Jones consented, and all went well for
short time but the horse was frisky, and
after shyIug at several objects in the
road, at last set off ION mad gallop, TO
the terror of Mr.. Holmes, who was ner-
vous and delicate, and rather afraid of
horses. III say, Jones'" he said at last,
"I'd give $40 10 be out of this" "Hold
your tongue, mani replied Jones; you'll
be out for nothing III less than minute"
And 50 ne was.
~
When Charles Dudley Warner (says the
Book BRyer) was the editor of the Hart
ford Press, bacK in the "sities,' arousing
the patriotism of the State with his Wig.
orous appeals, one of tn type settlers
came in from the composing room, and
planting himself before the editor, said:
"Well, Mr.. Warner, I've decided TO enlist
in the army With mingled sensations
of pride and possibility, MIR. Warner
replied, enconragingly, that he WAS glad
to see the man felt the call of duty. ooh
it isn't that SAID the truthful com positor,
"but | rather be shot than to try set any
more of your blanke1 copy
young diplomat was at a court ball
in Russia not long before the death of
Nicholas. The young man was dancing,
and, il seems danced badly. Now, Mich
olas liked to have thing done smartly at
his balls, and, walking up TO the young
mao he said: "When one does not know
how to dance one does not dance at all
IL was a most unusual thing for the great
autocrat TO ADDRESS a remark TO anybody,
and Russian society, orowding about the
young man, ASKED what the ozar had said.
! The young diplomat had the wit 10 re-
Ply His Maiesty's most gracious words
being intended for myself alone, do not
| feet at liberty 10 repeat them" On the
strength OF this, he had great success in
st. Petersburg.
~
The overture TO Spontini's LA Yes.
tale" WAS being reheersed. Suddenly,
with a violent blow on the desk, BerIioz
stopped the band. "The two clarionets
are not In tune together!" he cried out,
| The two clarionetists, stupefied, simply
stared. Like lion he jun ped down and
ran at the terrified musicians. Give me
the Al" he yelled. One did 80, tnen the
other; but when the second came out
COB, lie brigand! Oh, lie maltaiteurl Oh,
criminel You sit upon your ears, then!
What. You are at least sixteenth of
tone spaet, and you can stand it; and you
still play onW The appalled, claronetists
were ready to sink through the floor in
terror and amazemcnt at the man who