Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-09-19
THE GERMAN HERR LIEUTENANT.
His Wonderful Mustache-His Parade on
Inter ten Linden-His Social Success.

The German lieutenant is the Ger
man dude. He has few characters
tics. however, in common with the
American dude. He is intelligent and
manly. He wears no ultra-fashiona-
bic attire, and talks no ultra-foreign
jargon. He has no yellow top coats,
nor wide trousers, nor pot hats. nor
patent leather shoes, nor big-headed
canes. But there is red stripe on
each of his trousers legs, big imper-
ial eagle on his helmet, red straps on
his heavy ulster; spurs on his boots,
and at his side sword in a massive
scabbard, which strikes the pavement
at every step. He often wears mon
ocle and always a mustache.
A lieutenant's mustache is probably
the most carefully trained bit of
whiskers in the world. Its proper de-
velOpment involves more labor than
the combined mustaches of any three
dudes in the whole United States.
Three times every week the lieuten-
ants barber devotes half an hour or
longer to oiling it. twisting it, patting
it, and burning it into shape with hot
irons. When the lieutenant is shaved
the ends of his mustaehe are done up
in tissue paper, so that the lather
brush and the BARRIERS fingers can not
muss it. A very fastidious lieutenant
puts little fiat wooden clamp on each
end of his mustache every night when
he goes to bed to keep the hairs straight
and even. The result of all this train
ing is a mustache which all German
girls dream about and all German
men. outside of the army, ridicule.
The hairs are stiff, crinkled and spread
away from the corners of the mouth in
a fan shape. They shine with oil and
are odorous of perfume. The lieuten-
ant has his hair oiled daily, curled in
front frequently and rubbed down with
German eliXirs of all colorS, odors and
effects.
After the lieutenant has been re-
freshed by his barber from the fatigue
of early morning drill, he goes to the
most popular cafe to show the poor
humdrGm chaps without swords or
spurs or trained mustaches or curled
front hair what a mighty fine fellow
lieutenant of the guards is. As soon
as he enters the cafe his favorite waiter
begins all sorts of feats of acrobatic
politeness. He bows himself double
whenever the lieutenant turns hair.
He scurries around like mad after the
military periodicals, and shouts him.
self hoarse in ordering for the herr
lieutenant the very best caviar, the
freshest rolls and the strongest coffee
which the cafe affords. He never adj
dresses the lieutenant directly as
"you." That would be too disrespect-
full to a real lieutenant, though it is
good enough for men in bobtail coats
and trousers without stripes No, the
waiter ALWAYS asks: Twill the herr
lieutenant kindly have sugar in his
coffeeP" ''NNill the herr lieutenant
| have 2-cent beer or 23-cent beer?"
'Will the herr lieutenant have a fine
domestic cigar for cents or super
fine cigar for cents?" All this SER
Witty costs the lieutenant a cent. 1t
would cost an American double that
amount. A German civilian would
have hard work to get it at any price.
A Frenchman could not get it at all.
After coffee the lieutenant takes two
! little brushes from case in his pocket
and brushes his mustache. Then he
goes out to give the girls a treat. In
Berlin he exhibits himself on Inter
den Linden; in Lelpslc, on the Prom
enade; in Dresden, on the Bruhl ter
race. He marches along in the mid
die of the walk, as erect and conscious
as if he were on dress parade. He
turns neither to the right nor left, save
! for an officer of higher rank. Civil
ians make way for him, for he is bad
man to bump against. He is keen to
resent any incivility, and the man who
shoves him rudely or gets on his toes
is apt to bring up opposite him with
swords or pistols the next morning in
the Gruncwald of RosenthaI. The
! lieutenant on this street parade, how
ever, is not so busy admiring himself
| that he has no time to admire all the
| girls, who admire him. He ogles every
| pretty woman through his monocle.
! His admiration of handsome Young
wife on her husbands arm is just as
open as his admiration of the coquet-
fish shop girl who walks alone. This
does not bother the young wife very
much, because most German women
| like to be looked at by lieutenants, but
it frequently gets the husband into
OhO VI OhOoO apo WIN o"NiNo oNHN
pistols.
At dinner in a restaurant the lieu
tenant always gets the prettiest wal
tress, her incest smiles, the fattest bit
of roast goose and the biggest piece of
! cheese. He is admitted to the theater
for almost nothing, and attracts more
attention there than the rich banker
who has proscenium box all to HIM
| self. Between the acts he brushes his
mustache before the whole house and
flirts with the prettiest girl whose frau
mamma isn't looking or whose herr
| papa has gone out to see a man. He
knows all sOubrettes. His card is at
tached almost every evening to bou-
quet that is handed over the footlights.
After the play he is to be found in
quiet cafe near the theater with an ac-
| tress and bottle of wine. He leads
at all the dances. His red and blue
coat attracts more favors than dozen
swallow-tails. In the damentour he
is the first man on the floor. In fact,
his social domination is so complete
that of late years disgruntled critics
of Germa high life usually speak of
it as 'lieutenant beridden society,""
-NeW York Sun