davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14
FULL OF FUN.

Nobody has invented contrivance
whereby a man at the thcater can drop
a cent in the slot and get Glove.
Sick man to his physician-"W
are your rates, doctorP" Physician
''Ten dollars folio for bulletins, with
10 per cent. off for cash. Minneapo-
lis Tribune.
MIR. Lazybones thinks It Is lucky
we are not centipedes, because it would
be such dreadful work to button on
fifty pairs of boots every time we wish
ed to take q walk. = Youths Con1pan-
ion.
-"How did you manage to capture
such handsome wife, Mr.. Tucker,
when you are such homely manP"
30, my good clothes did it; / just put
on my best bib and tuck her." Chicago
Tribune.
Husband --''P Professor Widehead
paid you very fine compliment after
dinner last night. my dear" Wife
''Oh, did he; what did he sayp" Hus-
band-"He said that you weren't hand
some, but you were one of the most IN
telligent women he ever met" Wife
Professor What's -his-name has re-
ceived his last invitation from me. ~
Time.
Young Jenkins (tremblingly)-"I
have-er spoken to Mabel, Mr..
Stentor, and she aid-well-er-she
said II wished to press my suit
must see YOU" Mr.. Stentor-"She
did, ehP Well, Mr.. Jenkins, all I've
got to say is this, that II you wish to
press your suit you had better see a
ailor. Good day, sir."-LoweH CSti-
zen.
Some one told little Jimmy that
when it was day with us it was night
in China. He thought that was very
improbable, and sat thinking about it
some time. Suddenly his face beamed
as he exclaimed: ..Now l know, for
one day you took me up town, and we
passed a Chinese laundry; and the
Cinnamon were ironing with their
night-gowns on" Golden Days.
Alfonso de Beriot-'You say you
are superstitious, Miss Gushington, but
would you dare to be married on Fri
dayP" Miss Gushington = What!
Next Fridayp Why, dear Alfonso, you
are so sudden and so unconventional"
"You quite misunderstood me. pro-
test-I didn't propose" That's all
right, Alfonso, you didn't propose as
they usually do, but l like it just the
the same. Yes, dear, it shall be Fri
day. ."-Springfeld Onion.
-Dignified CHARACTERIZATION me, but
can not imagine what business you
can have with me-" Awkward Youth
(coolly) called to get you to pre-
vent your husband from discharging
me-" II have nothing whatever to do
with my husbands business affairs
and" II am typewriter operator,
and he thinks Of sending me off be-
cause l make SO many mistakes. He
has nearly engaged q pretty girl for
my place." "Oh, you will retain your
position. BY the way, when at leisure
please consider my house your home"
Record.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14
A Bet Easily Won.

III that the second belle" queried
drummer, a. the hotel man across the
way sounded his gong. .s..y
.:No, they don't ring but one bell
over there, J" replied the grocer.
why, you're mistaken. T."
Have you any cigars on itp"
"A dozenI .
'John," !" calling TO q colored porter,
..do they ring two bells at the Rhodes
Housep"
mo, sab; dey don't, sab; dey rings
the same bell twicet!"--DetroH Fvss
Rsss.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14
FULL OF FUN.


"A Michigan man who had lost his
wife kept his store closed till after the
funeral and then docked his clerks for
lost time.
The worm will turn when trodden
upon, and you can safely bet that the
barrel hoop will do the same thing. -
Yonker's Gazette.
"A woman can drive a pair Of dash
Ing ponies, bargain, an argument, or
ahen; but when It comes to little
fat-headed tack--O my!--Burlington
Free Press.
"A Dakota paper tells OF o man at
a political meeting who was ''ired
with indignation. We suppose this
is only another way Of saying he was
put out. -Drakes' Magazine.
just try to frighten me, will
youp" said B. to M. "What
forP" II have got the hiccough, and
II you frighten me it will make It 60
away at once" "Well then; here goes
shouting at the top Of his voice) |:
Lend me 500 francsr' "Ah! thanks; IL
is gone!"-FSgaro.
Prisoner (to his Lawyer)-"Do
you think l will have justice shown
mep" Lawyer-'I'm afraid you won't.
You see I've managed to get two men
on the jury who are opposed to capital
punishment. Life.
THE diamonds in that bracelet,
madam" said the jeweler, "were
taken from an old aigrette." "Well,
then. you needn't show 'em to me. I
don't want any thing that was ever
worn by one OF them horrid actresses. :"
-Jes0eler's Weekly.
Here's de soot'ing sirup,
Leah" Ipstein's Baby (feebly)-"vot
is 1t selling at, vaterp" Ipstein--
twenty-five cents for q small pottle. :"
Ipstein's Baby-"You better try de
wholesale blace, water; you can safe
forty ber shent, und vas going to
have long spell NIT der collie. -
Amcrica.
$50 you and Herbert are going to
be marriedp" said one young woman
to another" "Yes, pretty soon."
''You didn't threaten him with q
breach Of promise suit, did youp"
mo. merely showed him the photo
graph that l always keep concealed
under the sofa. "-Merchant Traveller.
Mamma" said Johnnie, still
smarting from shingle application,
''is the roof OF any thing on top of
itP" ''Of course it is" she said,
shortly. "And don't shingles always
go on the roofp" Certainly they do"
Then Johnnie was silent for quite a
while. Finally he said, in quavering
voice: Mamma, amt my roof upside
down"- Washington Critic.
-''Do you think" said Mrs. KILN,
of San Francisco, ''that my daughter is
sufficiently intelligent to enter your
seminary" II am sorry to say, mad
am, replied the Boston teacher, ''that
your daughter doesn't even know the
difference between a common and
proper noun" "She don't! Well,
have her taught straight off! ! don't
want any thing common about her.
She must use only proper nouns in her
speech, Thine,
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14
Wabash Western Railway.

Shortest and quickest line st. Louis to
Kansas City. st. Joseph, Council Bluffs,
Omaha, Denver, San Francisco and Port
land. Three solid trains daily to Kan.
sas City, equipped with free reclining
chair cars and Pullman buffet sleeping
cars. Pullman buffet sleeping cars run
through to Cheyenne via Kansas City
and Denver. For further information
call on or address Ed. SWIFT,
Southern Passenger Agent,
SO w. 4th street, Cincinnati.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14
How to Keep the Lips Soft.

To keep the face and lips soft and
smooth they should be sno!nted daily with
cold cream or glycerine and rose water. A
little experience will prove which 10 best
suited to one's use. The cold cream may
be made at homo, at decided saving
from druggists' charges. The formula 10
a. follows: "Two ounces Of spermaoeti,
one ounce Of white wax, two ounces of A.
mond oil, two ounces OF rose-water. Put
the spermaceti wax and oil In Q china YES
sci on the back Of the stove until they
are all dissolved. Lift of and stir In the
rose.water, continuing TO stir until the
compound 10 dissolved. This 10 excellent
and comforting for ohapped handA II
should be rubbed ON the face just before
retiring During the winter It Il an excel.
lent plan TO rub . little cold cream or
glycerine on the face before going out Into
Spiercing wind; II 10 Q preventive Of chap
ping. Detroit Feee Press.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14
Career.

I am satisfied that cancer is hereditary
in my family. Ny father died Of Il, q
sister Of my mother died Of It, and my
own sister died Of IL. Ny feelings may
be imagined, then, when the horrible
disease made its appearance on my side.
It was a malignant cancer, eating inward
" in such way that IL could not be cut
out. Numerous remedies were used for
1t, but thu cancer grew steadily worse,
until 1t seemed that is was doomed to
follow the others of the family. I took
swift's Specific, which, from the first
day, forced out the poison, and contin.
tinued It's use until had taken several
bottles, when I found myself we'll. I
know that 8. S. 8. cured me.
Mrs. s. M. IDOL.
Winston, N. o., Nov. 20, 'ss.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14

1T has been found that goose can
stand the weather until the thermom-
eter goes to sixty-four degrees below
zero. Then her feathers won't save
her. Wild ducks can 60 twelve degrees
lower and come out on top.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14
Winston, N. o., Nov. 2e, 'ss.

This year Yale university shows total
OF 1886 students; 1,l22 are in the clas-
sical department and the Sheffield Scien.
tific school. Williams college shows a
total Of 2S6 students, Of whom n are in
the Freshman class.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14

AN Indiana man has been convict.
cd OF stealing $40 plows, all Of which
he had stored away In barn.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14

IT ID impossible to keep young II one has
an accusing conscience or lives Q morally
disturbed life. There is nothing on, this
earth that exercises 90 depressing an effect
- sin Wrong living imprints early
wrinkles, gives the face cast Of sadness
and WEAKNESS and sows the hair with grey.
Wicked persons and impure persons are
always old looking. t W.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14

Irisa great deal better to lead Q holy
life than to talk about II. We arc told 70
lst our light shine, and II II docs, the light
will be its own witness I'D. L. Moody. m
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14

ipsAL manhood, measured by the standard
o. the hfe OF Jesus, consists In Q harmoni-
ous physical, mental and spiritual culture.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-02-14

When Baby was sick, We gave her Castoria,
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria,
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07
THE PAPERS ENTITLED TO
SOME CREDIT.

The Tuscarora Times Review, which
of late comments ably and intelligently
on the Silver question. has this:
eve have read with considerable care
and attention the proceedings Of the St.
Louis Silver Convention, and we will
venture the assertion that there was not
an idea advanced in any speech or reso-
luton which has not appeared in some
shape in the editorial columns of some
paper in the State Of Nevada within the
last twenty years. This We say in no
disparagement of the delegates, some OF
whom rank among the ablest statesmen
Of the nation. We do claim, however,
that not sufficient credit is given to the
journalists of the silver producing States
and Territories for their efforts in behalf
of the bi-metalic cause. They have fur.
nished nearly every text and point that
has been elaborated in the silver speeches
that have been made since the demoneti-
cation Of the metal, and a search through
the files of the Nevada papers for the
last two decades will convince the most
skeptical that we are fully warranted in
making such assertion"
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07
MIR. pENDLEroN.s DEATH.

The nation loses a vigorous and honest
statesman in the death of George H..
Pendleton. During his long career as a
public servant the late Minister to Ger
many was always identified with the
progressive elements of his party. He
opposed those who sought to stir up
strife between different sections Of the
country, and during the civil war distin-
guished himself for patriotiom in Con-
gress. frequently ignoring all narrow po-
litical obligations in his generous and
hearty support of the. Union.
But the browning glory Of Mr.. Pendle.
tons history was the splendid service he
rendered to the cause of civil service re-
form. His efforts in that direction were
deceived. To him more than to any
other man in the national legislature was
due the honor of ENGRAVING the civil SER
vice idea upon the body Of our federal
laws,
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07
Not of the RIxht stuff.

That South Carolina girl who
hanged herself because her parents
would not consent to let her keep
company with the man she loved. was
not made of the right stuff, and the
young mar ought to find his grief over
her unhappy fate materially assauged
by reflections upon his good luck in
escaping marriage with her. Out here
in the far and woolly West, no girl
would have listened with respectful
consideration to the parental mandate
and then quietly eloped. AT the con-
clusion OF the bridal tour she would
have asked the old gentleman for his
blessing and he would never be able
to find heart to refuse it.-Sacramento
Bee.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07
An Editor shot.

C. S. King, editor of the Ogden
Union, was shot and wounded in the
neck and leg by f. w. Exum, an ex-
Deputy United States Marshal. The
shooting resulted from the publication
Of a viilainous article in the Union re-
1ecting upon Exum and his wife.
about eve years ago King published
q paper called the Rustler in Ogden
and was tarred and feathered by
prominent citizens for a similar Of
tense. He then went to the mining
town of Tintic and started a paper,
but came to grief by slandering people,
and was driven out of that town. He
is said to have an Unsuitable desire for
sensations and delighted in publishing
scandalous and slanderous rumors
about the citizens OF the town where
he resided, without inquiring whether
the rumor we're true or false.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07
SAINT. c,n.. uas Arrived.

w. J. Smith takes pleasure in an
nouncing to tile public that he is in
receipt OF one OF the finest holiday
stocks ever offered in Eureka at his
store in the Postofice building. The
following is but a partial list: Dolls
OF all kinds and sizes, plush dressing
cases, manaeme sets, work-boxes
odor cases, very fine assortment OF
albums, autograph albums, block
games, tool-chests, kitchens, china
tea sets, childrens' writing desks,
pianos, checker boards, accordeons,
drums, Wagons, carts, swing horses,
fine selected stock OF books, full as
sortment OF gilt-edge poets and a com
plete line Of juvenile books, very fine
assortment OF Christmas cards, and
other goods too numerous to mention,
at the very lowest prices.
Youngsters. 20 to the p. o. bookstore
and see the holiday presents.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

One of tbe Biggest Mines Ever
Seen on n Pacific Coast.

The editor OF the White Pine News
says: We took a drive up the canyon
a few days ago to take another look at
the Joanna mine. We found three
men quarrying out the hillside on a
breast 100 feet or more, and keeping
two teams steadily at work hauling to
the mill. The only waste on this
breast of ore is about a foot of sage.
brush and loose gravel that is stripped
from the slanting surface OF the hill.
The grade of the ore has raised from
$50 to $40 a ton.
Mr.. ID. G.. McQuitty, an old Cali
fornia miner, who accompanied US,
was greatly astonished at the i'm
mense mass of ore in sight, and said
that in all his experience in California
he never saw anything like it. II is a
mountain OF high grade gold-bearing
rock, which promises to contain mil
lions of the most precious metal.
Every one who sees il is astonished at
its great mass and high grade.
Already numerous offers are COM
ing in from mining men looking to a
purchase of the property but MIR. Wat
son, knowing he has a good thing, is
not at all anxious to part with it. We
are reliably informed that a bond for
80 days and 500, 000, with a forfeit OF
10000 has been refused by Mr.. Wat
son. We are not in a position to say
what exact value Mr.. Watson places
upon the property, but it is probable
not less than hall a million dollars
would induce him to sell, and the COM
pany that gets hold OF it at that figure
We should consider lucky.
The Joanna is a great property, and
whether sold or worked by its present
owner, is almost certain to last for
many years and pour out a constant
supply of the most valuable metal
known 10 commerce.
That there are other equally as good
mines in this district all indications
seem to warrant, when explored and
opened out.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07
ron REED FoR sPEAEER.

The Republican members Of Congress
have done precisely what we knew they
would do for the past six months. In
their caucus they have nominated Thos.
B. Reed OF Maine for Speaker. From a
Republican standpoint this is exactly
what should have been done. Tom
Reed comes nearer being the ideal Re
publican thar my man in America. He
is against silver and in favor Of Chinese
immigration. So is his party. He is for
every trust and combine and corporation
and monopoly in the land. So is his
party. He has always stood in Congress
for the classes as against the masses. So
has his party. In short, Tom Reed is a
thorough typical Republican. There is
no thievery that he will not excuse in
the strong against the weak. The cleo
ton of this man destroys all hope of
legislation favorable to silver for two
years. He is a gold bug of the more sg-
gressive type. and will so construct his
Committees as to prevent anything be-
ing done for silver. The cause has been
greatly injured by the election Of Reed.
But it was to have been anticipated. The
Republican party is a gold bug party and
nothing else. Since it ~demonetized sill.
YER in 1873 it has always been against us
Practically, there are no silver Republi-
cans. We expect to see silver at a higher
price, but not through legislation. 1t
will come, il at all, through increased
demand for il. With John sherman at
the head of the Finance Committee in
the Senate, and Tom Reed Speaker OF
the House OF Representatives, the last
hope of silver is gone for two years. 1t
serves the people of the silver States
right. So long as they elect Republi.
cans to represent them in Washington
just SO long will this condition prevail.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

Speaking of the speakership fight. the
New York Mining and Engineering Jour.
nal says the election of Reed "would
mean an arrangement Of the committees
oa banking. ways and means, internal
improvement, and last but not least. Of
the committees on coinage and on min.
ing. adverse to the views, wishes and in
terests of the West and South, including
the Pacific coast states. With Reed in
the speakers chair there would be no
hope of the enactment during the next
congress of any beneficial laws in regard
to our mining interests"
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

A New Jersey schooI-boy read an
essay on man, in which the lord OF
creation is described in this pleasing
manner: Mar is a wonderful ami
NAL. He has eyes, ears, and mouth.
His ears are mostly for catching cold
in and having the earache. The nose
is to get the snif1les with. A mans
body is split half way up, and he
walks on the split ends.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

The Helena Journal, Russell Harri-
sons organ, is energetically BLACKBOARD.
ing the Democrats of the Montana Leg
i~slature for resisting the Republican
conspiracy to steal the two Senators
from that State. Judging from the edi-
torial tone of his paper. young Harrison
must be an exceedingly precocious and
offensive person. 1t certainly j%ustifies
the many skits directed at his tricks and
his He is bound to breed
trouble for his feather.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

The Washington statisticians Of the
amateur kind who are figuring on the
total OF the coming census differ widely.
Some hold that the census will show 62,.
900, 900 in the United States, and others
set the total as high as 75,O ZOO, 900. The
more general estimate. and that Of
trained statisticians, is that the popula-
tion will be found to be IS, 0O0, 900, they
assuming that the rate of increase per
decade Of 30 per cent has been main
tanned
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07
POstOmce Variety Store,

Just arrived, at the Postofice
Variety Store, a full assortment OF
French garden and flower seeds. The
choicest OF bird seed, feather busters,
tissue paper busters, wood tooth picks,
ladies work baskets, picture frames,
fine stationery. cutlery, meerschaum
goods, pipes, tobacco, imported and
domestic cigars, cigarettes and all the
novelties Of the season always in
stock 4
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

Berg is just in receipt OF tons Of tur-
keys, chickens and ducks from the East;
also, celery and caulidower, and a great
variety of other toothsome articles for
the coming holidays. Go and examine
the goods and learn the low prices at
which they are sold.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

Fire in the dry goods district of Bos-
ton burned over two and one quarter
acres Of immense business buildings,
causing a loss estimated at 500, 900, 900.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07
A Noble Animal Killed.

Some scoundrel at Ventura, CAL,
shot a fine Irish setter that belonged
to F. Charlebois. The noble animal
went through the surf to the wreck of
the Gralala two years ago and brought
a lifeline ashore, thus saving every
one on the vessel.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

The explosion Of three thousand bar.
rels Of powder in the harbor OF Mar
settles last week must have made some Of
the residents think that BoulaDger had
landed and begun a speech.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

Chief Postofice Inspector Rathbone
reports hat during the last fiscal year
sol persons were arrested for robbing the
mails. of which 66 were Postmasters, 25
Assistant Postmasters, As clerks, 10 mail
carriers, q letter carriers, l27 burglars,
and 4 highwaymen. One hundred and
forty-seven convictions were obtained,
and $50 are now awaiting trial.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07
Discoveries More Valuable Than
Gold.

Are santie Able, the California discovery
for Consumption and diseases Of the
Throat, Chest and Lungs. and California
Cat-r'cure, the only guaranteed cure for
Catarrh. Cold In the head and kinder com.
plants. They are sold at 81 q package,
or three for 50 so, and are recommended
and used by the leading physicians OF the
Pacific Coast. No secret compounds.
Guaranteed by John s. Cspron, Main
street, Eureka, Nevada.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07
New Photographer.

| wish to inform the public of Eu-
reka that | have opened a first.class
photograph gallery in the rooms tor
merry Occupied by l.. Monaco. Call
early and secur good pictures, as |
shall remain a short time only.
\ i. l.. SMITH, Photographer.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

"Wben Benjamin Harrison looks at
one of the dead ducks that fell a victim
to his craftsmanship does it remind him
of anything in politics:" asks the Chi.
cago Herald. OF course it does. The
CLASSY eyes and the rutiled feathers Of
Grover Cleveland are always before him.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

Allison of Iowa predicts the free coin
age Of silver, because the eight new
Senators will stand together on that
policv.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

The finest and largest stock Of holiday
goods ever brougt to Eureka can be found
at the Eureka Drug Store. and st low
prices,
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

A Washington dispatch says: But
little attention was paid to the reading
Of the Presidents message in the House.
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

The p. o. bookstore has got everything
In the way Of holiday goods, and ii dom
take the entire earth to purchase them. 4
Eureka weekly sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1887-1902, 1889-12-07

So far this year 500, O0O, 900 in gold
has been dug from the mines of Austria
liza, America and Africa.