Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-27
MODERN CHAPERONS.
Mrs. Admiral Dahlgren Tells Why
Girls Should be ChaperOned.
A DISCREET MATRON NECESSARY
To Watch Over the Innocent But Needless
Conduct of Ingenues.
A FEW WORDS TO AMERICAN GIRLS
WRITTEN FOR THE prspArcH.i

cnaperon lor any young SuA muss 8oeu
be the mother-she who has brooded over
her hedgling when baby with tender de-
votion, who has watched her sweet bud Oh
promise mature, who has from year to year
assisted the development of the being con-
fded to her care.
As the sklllful gardener knows we'll in
advance the effect he seeks to produce upon
his flowers by assiduous culture. knows
even the delicate shading to be looked for
as each petal expands, so good mother
holds in her heart hidden lore, connected
with the life of her child, all unknown TO
the rest of the world. She may not be
able to communicate this knowledge to
others, for it is hers by the sacred right OF
intuition.
This prerogative of guidance a mother
may always Justly claim. 1t is part OF
the holy mystery of motherhood.
To our apprehension this matter of mater
nal chaperonage does not seem an adapta-
tion to the artificial requirements Of the
social world, but rather an inherent right
natural claim, which wise and careful
mother cannot we'll forego.
At the very time when her child is
launched forth from the safe and sheltered
home moorings into the swift and dangerous
currents of the voyage of life, the mother is
| most needed TO pilot her dear charge past all
quicksands and sunken rocks.
She can supply by her knowledge the
| ignorance of youth.
would not ask why should a mother
chaperon her daughter, but rather formulate
my question into, Why should mother not
chaperon her daughter?
1 fancy in the discussion of such propo-
I. IN
prove the negative, and when the subject is
once properly understood, it must be con-
ceded that mother should assuredly con-
tinue her care.
There exists no reason why she should
not.
But the question becomes rather more
complicated, perhaps, when the mother
may have died, or when from any cause it
becomes impossible for her to perform this
| duty.
A COMMON MISTAKE. .
Then the American girl asserts herself
She has been reared in an independence
of thought and action which makes her dis
satisfied with all restraint.
She coustrues chaperonage as espionage.
She declares that she will not tolerate be-
| ing watched, and AYERS that she must be al
lowed entire freedom and liberty of action,
and she asserts that her own perceptions of
right and wrong, and her innate delicacy of
sentiment, are all that is needed to make it
quite safe for her to go wherever and when
ever she chooses and to do whatever she
wills to do.
Now this is true, and it is not true.
In the first place 1t is mistake to con-
found chaperonage with espionage.
To suppose that chaperon is a spy on
ones actions is a perversion of the proper
functions of such an Office.
A chaperon is either mother Or a selected
matronly friend, whose tender interest or
friendliness is the best guarantee against
misconstruction.
A young girl is supposed to be guileless,
artless and confding. These are very Ioveable
traits, which will doubtless some day con-
tribute to the happiness of home circle of
her own; but just in proportion as these
without guidance from their very nature,
and on account of the inexperience Of
youth.
Then young girls, even if ever so carefully
trained, as to understand the nicer conven-
tionalities that regulate the polite world, are
inclined to be needless, and carried away
for the time being by the exhilaration of a
gay life. Thus, with the best disposition to
do only what is proper, they commit errors
that in a measure misrepresent them, and
which they afterward regret.
Now, it is obvious that the dignified pres.
ence of matron who loves them, or is at all
interested in them, would check all mad
vertent indiscretion from the outset. and
thus in the end greatly contribute to their
future well-being and happiness.
The situations are innumerable that sug-
gest themselves where such a safeguard
would be the greatest kindness.
The French have pithy saying, that fsit
is the first step that costs" How true
AT what cost of vain and unavailing regret
might the wise chaperon spare needless
girl
A facility of broken engagements as well
as of divorce would seem to go hand in hand.
1t is in either case broken troth.
DUTIES OF THE cHAPERoN.
Now one of the special duties of the
mother or the chaperon is to guard their
manageable wards as far as possible in re-
ceiving the attention of men.
An engagement, announced or unan-
nounced, is always more or less ccmpromis.
ing, and should in honor be deemed a
sacred promise not to be violated, unless for
grave and most serious reasons.
A young girl unguided is not very apt to
weigh all consequences, and the future is to
her very dreamy. She lives in her emotions
and in the present, and sadly needs the aid
of pair of loving spectacled eyes to make
her illusions safe realities.
There are so many little things. which are
not as trivial as they would seem. where a
clear judgment is needed. For instance, in
the matter of receiving presents. 1t is under
stood that gentleman has the privilege of
sending flowers and perhaps, if the friend
ship is well established, boxes of bon-bons
to lady. As to presents having a money
value they are, of course, out of the ques-
tion.
Yet the frequent acceptance of even these
simple gifts is to be avoided, for to make
these offerings habitually is a conceded and
incumbent thing for lover to offer to his
fancee-so much so that there is society
phrase concerning these little gifts calling
them '.the regulation box of Huyler's," etc.
There Is a very narrow dividing line,
therefore, between the permissible and the
not permissible. One takes it for granted
that no woman other than heartless flirt
willfully encourages the attentions of man
simply for the vain qualification of being
able to count his name among offers re-
fused, and therefore that any woman of
average astuteness can readily check ssin-
tentions'' of marriage before a man becomes
too deeply interested. 1t is also kind to say
the very least, to spare a mans vanity the
modification of refusal.
SOCIETY AS NEMESIS.
1t is a strange fact that in almost every
instance where vain coquette has openly
boasted of her conquests, she ends by ac-
cepting the most ineligible offer. A vertigo
of gratifed vain-glory seems to seize her and
cloud her judgment.
Society then acts as Nemesis, and comes