Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-02-15
OBSERVATIONS OF A RETIRED
VETERAN.

VII EfdIf.
[ sometimes come to the conclusion that
it is in Winter that a Philosopher has his
severest trials. That is, Of course, mar
ried Philosopher. For of the other sort I
take no account, seeing that with their
mode Of life they have little need of Philo-
sophy, unless, indeed, it be esteemed so
lowly remedy as to be put at the beck and
call of men for evils they invite to them
selves. Philosophy [ hold to be a Patent
Medicine Of the higher sort, which is to be
taken only for those affections brought upon
us by others, and by which we are enabled
to assuage our own misery through inspect
ing from an elevated plane the folly, OF ex-
travagance, Oh weakness of those who have
afflicted us. 1t is a mental jack-screw by
which we wind ourselves up to height
from which we can look down on lacks in
others. To lose sight of our own pain after
shooting down q flight of steps, in grave
and plying contemplation of the stupidity
of the chambermaid who left the bar of
soap on the first step-that is your true
Philosophy. And the man who forgets to
rubhis back, through pitying her ignorance,
is the true Philosopher. 1t is quality
from the gods, and whether exhibited over
the minor calamity of soap, or the graver
distresses to which the married Philoso-
pher too often falls heir, shows it's origin in
a heavenly calm. To him, l think 1 have
said, this calm has it's severest trial in the
Winter; but now that think of it again,
if l were writing this in the Summer,
should say that season was the severest.
Indeed, thinking Of it still further, [ am
puzzled to decide on any season that does
not bring to him the severest trials of his
heavenly serenity. The other night Mrs.
BoyZy, as she slipped one Of the little
stockings off the wooden ball, which has
served our children for SO many years and
so many purposes filling out a
croquet set, to the Draining of their parents
her kindly, and to me still beautiful face,
lighting up with SMILE said: ''We are
having a real gay winter in Staunton.
dear" Alas, knew it well. Between High
Teas and Blue Teas, and Ladies Lunches
dliu vi L NtlltlCS. hllcN IL we'll. L
knew it from the number of times that 1
have had to steal in, like thief in the
night, at my own side gate and make my
way to a cold set-out in the nursery, while
a High Tea was progressing down stairs
accompanied by the hum of feminine
voices. | knew it from the cold nights
have had to carry our eldest daughter to her
club, with the dreary reflection that it WAS
to be still colder, later, when young Jones
OF young Tompkins would have to bring
her home; and when Mrs. Boyzy would wake
me from my slumber and in dressing gown
and slippers L would shiver behind the front
door till young Jones and she, after much
low murmuring, would separate and the
inside. | knew i'll always know it, being
victim of dyspepsia the bonbons
and other gim-cracks which are served out
at my family table after these lunches and
teas, and Which are persistently served out
until, as my wife calls it, they are finished.
Had not that very evening had served to me
a piece of fruit-cake made, / believe, when
our eldest girl was in short dresses knew
it from the short party calls which have rat
tied like bird-shot against the Boyzy man
sion. to the utter wreck of all my quiet even
ings with Mrs BoyZy-a woman that 1 had
much rather talk to, than all the callers in
the world. And all this that knew so well
was put by that estimable woman under the
head of real gay winter Before 1 could
apply the elevating mental jack-screW that
raises me above all earthly troubles, / could
not help feeling that the inquiry was pretty
much like asking a scrambling lobster boil
ing in the pot, if he was not having real
CAV evening / am afraid mentioned some
such impression to my wife, for l was soon
astonished by finding that I was intrument-
al in the whole business. "But my dear, y
she replied, 1--WE have to do it. Everyone
does it, We! I was astounded to find that
cessory, perhaps the chief criminal, in
bringing it about. A few questions from
the eyer-ready partner of my joys, soon
convinced me that If had not been great
criminal, it was only through lack of time
and opportunity. Did have any idea of
what was due to the position of my family
in Society? What would become Of our
children's ''prospects?" What sort of life
would my family lead-and here the severe
infectianaf her voice convinced my crime
stricken conscience that nothing but a
miracle-and Mrs. Boyzy-could have saved
my family from utter social destruction if L
had been allowed to have my way. Happily.
by this time Philosophy had come toSpy