The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-07-13
UNCLE JOE sHEEsTER's RIDE.
A Temperance Story, with an Old Topcr's
Pledge Mt the End of II.

anu uaOoG letSI'HS case OI turning over
new leaf in the matter of tarrying
too long at the wine cup was that OF
Uncle Joe Sheester, jolly old Penn
sylvania Dutch farmer who lives up
our way" said John Newberger. of
Berks County. Uncle Joe had been
for forty years chiefly conspicuous as
citizen through his perennial conviv-
iality. A robust bachelor. with
plenty of money, he had been abe to
maintain an almost uninterrupted jag
for two score years, without having
to carry with it single care, either
financial, physical, or mental-a con-
dition, in the estimation of many
of his fellow citizens, so en-
tirely blissful as hardly to be classed
among things of the earth earthly.
There were few nights in the week
when Joe's faithful bay mare Betsey
could not be seen tied to the tavern
hitching- post in the village near which
Uncle Joe's farm lay, waiting patient
ly for the coming of her master, when
his libations with an always willing
collection OF loungers in the bar-room
had produced a certain condition of
booziness in Uncle Joe that made him
no longer agreeable or profitable COM
pany, at which stage he was always
conducted to his horse and helped up
on her back. Uncle Joe never had
much control of his physical or mental
faculties at such times, so long as he
was afoot, but the moment he was in
the saddle on Betsey's back he straight
ened up like major, and was invari-
ably delivered safe and sound at his
farmhouse door. AS soon as Joe
would become settled in his saddle and
the bridal reins were placed in his
hands Betsey would start homeward
like shot.
when Joe was at that stage in his
cups the boys used to play all sorts of
tricks and jokes on him, the general
obliquity of his discernment making
him an easy and most credulous
victim. Joe took but little notice of
his surroundings at such times. In one
OF the Lancaster County towns, not
far from Joes farm, there is a man
who has remarkable genius for carv-
ing and modelling effigies of animals
out of wood. He is really an artist in
his line. An instance of his skill in
eIunterfeiting an animal to the life
was once shown by wooden dog he
had carved for a patron. He had
finished the image and placed it out
side of his shop near the sidewalk.
A vagrant coach dog that came along
soon afterward stopped in front of the
wooden dog, bristled up and growled,
and then pitched into the mock dog
with a savageness and earnestness
that left no doubt in the minds of
those who witnessed the assault
that the coach dog was deceived by
the cunning of the artist into believing
the wooden dog real one. The coach
dog did not discover his error until he
had wiped up the sidewalk with the
image several times and knocked its
legs off. Then the real dog sneaked
away with his tail between his legs,
looking confused and ashamed.
This artist in wood carving re-
ceived an order one day from a har-
ness dealer in Reading to chop out a
life-sized bay horse which the merchant
wanted to stand outside his store as a
sign. The horse was to be built stand
ing at rest in an easy, horse-like pose,
and to be mounted on four large easy
running castors, so that it could be
moved in and out of the store with the
least possible wear and tear on the
clerk. This order was executed in a
manner that aroused the enthusiasm
and wonder of all who saw it 1t was
so natural, some declared, that if the
wooden horse had neighed it wouldn' t
have surprised them. The wooden
horse was stored in shed to await
the pleasure of the Reading merchant
about that time Uncle Joe Shees-
ter tied his mare Betsey at the tavern
hitching-post one night. and took his
usual place in the bar-room to WOO
conviviality. While he was thus en-
gagged, some of the boys were seized
with an idea that they thought prom
ised brilliant results. They surrep-
titiously removed the wooden horse
from the shed, put saddle and bride
on it, and taking Uncle Joe's Betsey
from the tavern hitching-post, tied
the counterfeit horse in her place.
Betsey they safely housed in the shed.
The night was dark, and about ten
o'clock Joe came out of the tavern
with one of his largest cargoes
aboard. Some of the boys helped him
on the horse, and placed the reins in
his hands. Joe had submitted me-
chemically, but when he Strengthened
up in the saddle and Betsey did not
dash away as was her wont, he sat for
a moment evidently speechless with
establishment, and then slapping his
leg with his hand, exclaimed in tone
of maudlin despair:
My alt Petsey ISIS palky NIT me, Ply
shing!
wait, Uncle Joe,' said one of the
fellows who were in the joke. Tll lead
Betsey ways, then she'll be all right
The road from the tavern was wide