Morning journal and courier., 1889-06-07
OPEN ED.


 An open question-Anybody got cork screw?-Boston Transcript.
 Strange, but True. tsThe quiet marriage" makes the most noise when it gets out.-Chi- cago InterOeean.
 Brown-"What did you realize from your deal in wheat?" Smith-"I have realized that was blank fool ever to have gone in- to it."-Texas Siftings.
 Mrs. Gohard (who is getting up tennis match)-"Will you loan me Ar. Golightly for a while deara' Mrs. Golightly-"Loan hima My dear girl, I'll give him to you"
 ''I hate slang. Don't you, Mabels" "Yes, the sad refrain of chestnuts. I say that peo- pie who use slang don't know their business, and what say goes. Eh, Petie. "-Minne- apolis Tribune.
 ''Shadbolt, how do you like the looks of these trousersa They're new pair. dressed in hurry this morning and Ina! hall put these on by mistake" "Din- guss, I'm sorry, but haven't 8 cent about me."-Chicago Tribune.
 A man at Monticello, Fla, claims to have a tree which bears quinces, pears and apples. But that's nothing remarkable. man in this town has tree which bears apples, sweet potatoes, pears, onions and pumpkins. It is axle-tree. The species of the Monti- cello mans tree Is not given.-Norrstown Herald.
 Corporal Tanners actiyity.-Crlpple-" am entitled to pension, but I'm not going to apply for one." Friend-"You are very generous" Cripple-'fNo, I'm not. I'm on the make. In @ few months an ex-Federal soldier without a pension, even if he isn't @ cripple, will be such rarity that I'll get a thousand dollars a week in dime museum as freak. "-Texas Siftings.
 Mrs. Youngwife-"Yes, my husband is SO interested in his business now he cannot spare a moment from the of1ies."
 Caller-"Yes,I just met him; he was in an awful hurry"
 Mrs. Youngwife-"His time Is so taken up. Did he say where he was goings"
 Caller-"Yes, he said he was going up to see our boys down the Chicagos. ."-Harvard Lampoon.
 Parson-"You are total abstainer, I be- lieve, Mir. Flintt'
 "Farmer Skinfint-"Yes, sir, be. nev- CT tasted liquor but once, and that was to Hawbuck treated me three times that day, and got jest dizzy enough to let some scamp pass lead nickel on me. When I found out that says to myself, You've had enough an ain't fetched a drop sence, nor I ain't going ter."-Epoch.
 Rev. A. V. Sims, a clergyman of Brooke county, Ga., reports that while fishing re- cenlly ne naQ CAUTIOUS caLcn. lrst on tuo hook was an eel, and hanging to the eel was something like huge turtle, weighing about 300 younds and having white head like a child's." He ran for help but when he re- turned his curiosity had escaped. Unless the reverend gentleman can prove that the flask in which he carried his bait had been tempered with, he will be deposed from the ministry. Herald. We weren't there, but we never had req fn hf tho Caraoitv of hA yant1em who informs us that Senator Sawyer the oth CT day witnessed for the first time in his life game of base ball, as played by profession. als. At one point in the game the man al the bat knocked the ball away over the heads of the out6elders, and the crowd cheered until Senator Sawyer felt the warmth of enthusiasm rising in his own bosom. 'That's too bad, ," he finally said to the gen tleman beside him. ''What's toe bsd2" "Why, it's too bad they didn't have man there to catch that ball. By George said the senator warmly, eff I were manage, of that club, I'd put three more men out there in the field, if 1t cost $2. 800 year."- Washington Post.