Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-12-10
A BLESSED BLUNDER,
How . Problem Was Unexpected-
 ly Solved for Toddles.

ly Solved for Toddles. Mr. Toddles arose one morning in very melancholy mood. 1t was his forty fifth birthday, and he was still bachelor. 'Time is flying" he said. ''Youth has gone. I have nothing to look forward to out miserable single life at boarding house. Why have never marrieda It is too late now-''
 ''Toddles, you in?" cried voice at the door. II want to consult you" 'Come In, come in," replied Toddles, and the door opened to Gnmit a tall gentleman, with a head like the popular portraits of Shakespeare and beard which he trimmed in the way best calculated to impress the likeness on all beholders. He wore a very showy little smoking | jacket and cap to match, and carried in his hand a roll of manuscript and stylo- k5raphic pen. He looked what he was-a literary man. His serials, which were of the most romantic sort, were read with avidity by all the young ladies who sub- ! cribed for the Weekly Gusher or who bought 1t at the stands or stationers' stores or borrowed It of their neighbors. His heroes were never more than twenty two; resembled, according to description, the wax figures with which hair-dressers decorate their windows; smoked constant S5, AoiACu up euClI CySS COu anu dll possessed silk night-gowns and slept on silken pillows and put rare perfumes on their handkerch1efs and decorated their button-holes with hOt-house plants and had only to double their fists and sEahe them at any other man Tn order to make him fall as Hat as the walls of Jericho. In fact they were even mixtures of the Apollo BeIyedere
 and the dandy of the time of the Spectator, | with some of the stuff that goes to the mal- nf hn ode However, the girls liked them, and many q married dame sighed over the romances and wished that her prosaic John was more of that pattern.
 Good morning, Toddles, old fellow!' said MT. Sparkle, genially. 'Here am,
 coming for advice again! Whenever want genuine advice I come to you. You have literary taste. It's oonfounded pity that you are rich, Toddles-you'd have made your mark with your pen else. We'll, you'll advise me!''
 'I shall be delighted, I am sure," said
 Toddles "delighted! But you flatter me-" Not at all," responded Mr. Sparkle "BrealIfast is not ready yet. I'll just read this to you, if you don't mind, I've taken new departure in this serial-I've intro duced an old fellow"
 "How olda' asked Toddles Thirty" responded Sparkle; "almost thirty"
 "Now, call that young," said Toddles. "Of course 1t is in real life," said Sparkle: "Forty is young to all intents and purposes. But literary age is very diff ,erent. 1t would blast an authors reputa-
 tion to make heroine out of her teens or hero out of his twenties. This thirty-year- older is an old bachelor who has long | adored a certain young lady, and remains unmarried for her sake. She is going down into the vale of years-fve and twenty of em-a spinster for love of him. Neither guesses the love of the other-a good point, ehr'
 ssVery," said Toddles. '.Now, the question is," said Sparkle, whether to unite them or to have her
 confess her love for him beside his death l beds"
 "The latter!' cried Toddles, enthusias- tically. "But have him recover, after all,
 and then marry 'em." Sparkle started up and grasped Toddles' hand.
 "Magnifcentr' he said. "You always have original ideas"
 He sat down at Toddles' desl. and began to lance his stylographic pen into the air in furious manner, highly suggestive of de- lirium tremens. However, Toddles was not l alarmed; he knew that he was only getting his pen into working order. "Ah!' he said, as drop of ink appeared | at the point of the instrument, shere we l are at last" He jotted down a memoran- | dun and then wheeled about. s'Let me read you this," he said. ''I think you will
 like it. My hero is soliloquizing-imagin- | ing that he IS declaring his love-ahemn and MT. Sparkle pushed his smoking-eap to | the back of hls head, smoothed his Shake | speapean beard with his hand and began: Beloved one-nay, start not; long have called thee so in my soul-' "Is he Quaker!" inquired MT. Toddles. "No, no. l always use thee and thou for strong love passages" replied Sparkle. "See9"
 "oh, yes," replied Toddles. "How stupid of me!'
 ',Not at al, l," said Sparkle. ''Let me see." "'Beloved one-nay, start not; long have l I called thee so in secret Have not my l eyes revealed to thee the tale my tongue re= fused to utter. Hast thou not guessed that
 my heart lay at thy feeti Nay, cruel one, l thou turnest from me. Should ask thee to be mine scorn would be my portion. And yet how can I live without thee? Alasl alas alas P"
 ''What do you think of it!'' "It's very touching," said Toddles. "Do you know, should like to confide in you"
 'Do it, do it, my dear friend,'' said MT. Sparkle.
 Sparkle, has it ever come into your mind that have a secret woe;" said Toddles
 { "Well, it has,n replied Sparkle. 'I'vs heard you groan.''
 cndorro 2 nunho;noo