The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1889-08-22
Our Reporter Makes Some Slight
Errors.

Errors.
A week ago yesterday a busy day in
our office consequent upon the visit of the Ed
itoral Association. Towards evening" when L
congratulating mys self On the days work be-
ing finished. the editor threw slip of paper
with the ir Junction "Get there on that. Jackson
bury 1t was an assignment, and l deciphered
it as follows: Editors supper. half-column, 9
p. m. Eat table if necess. Don't fail u.s. This,
was luck indeed. started for the dining room
and meeting the major domo, queried: steward
any special table reserved for the ladies?
well. no; but intend having them as near the,
center of the room possible
AS l represent THE MIRROR, l presume you
will not object to assigning me where thew pre-
ponderate. mere matter of business, of
course. you know the ladies always have the lat
est news on such occasons?'
Just you like. You wait on the ladies'
if you prefer
During the interim of inactivity. before supper.
l hied away to quiet room to prepare some ex
tempore wit. and just putting the finishing
touches a light and airy poem when the Stew
ard entered and handing me white apron said,
''everythIng will be ready in few minutes
But what do want tn apron for? II you have
run short of napkins l get along without
one"
NAPKIN, nothing; you've got to wear an apron
waiting on table,"
l ran to IA light. and reading my assignment
again managed to make out very poorly con-
structed ''w-a-i-t'' instead of .e-at". Not that L
cared so much for the animal exercise of eating
but had calculated on making impression by
my graceful form and timely wit. told the Stew
ard that l would just wait on the sterner
sex under existing circumstances.
My duties as a servltor consisted in pouring tea y
coffee water and milk experienced
waiter doing the fancy work. To appear like an
old hand at the business. carried three cups Of
coffee at trip. and in setting down the first order
dropped enough hot coffee down editors back
to cause a stormy outburst of compound adjec-
tives, interspersed with rhythmcal delineation
of my ability as a waiter. The other waiter vol
urteered to furnish the rest of the hot drinks
telling me to fill up the empty dishes. Seeing a
large chicken platter empty, started after more
of the bipedal daintes. Not being able to find
any. bright idea struck me. There were just
twelve men at my table and pie seemed to be
in abundance piled twelve whole pies on the
platter decorated them with grapes, and
rounded the whole with some ice green parsley.
thought had made ten-pin strike by the
smiles that greeted the return of the platter.
But my super or waiter calling to side.
inquired. did you ever pie put up in that
shape befOreY'
No, have not. But determined to show
those people that we have not run out of comes
tibles."
We'll you Just stand around now and fill the
small ORDERS
waiter, glass Of water
All there was an order could fill to perfection.
Tumbler. water tap. fms. But had done it again.
Seeing that the drinker looked Their hard at me
after taking the first sip. tested the faucet my
self and found that the water very soft
having struck the hot water faucet.
By this time it became apparent to that L
was making frst-class fool of myself and in
order to convince the diners that not
tirely insane RECALLED them as follows gentle
men, l am before you this evening in the guise-
of a waiter, have inundated myself on the altar
of serfdom that might be present this evening
among my craftsmen l am here for burgl-
don t shudder gentlemen don't shudder, Pm not
a burglar now. I'm journalist, editor and re-
porter all under the one 1 wait all
day on a scrap of news, but when it comes to
waiting on table. admit am a failure. To con-
vince you that am dabster in the newspaper
line, will dash off pun. poem or fresh, crisp
jokelet any subject you name and will guar
antee satisfaction refund the subject" The
editors accepted my statements without ocular Or
auriculor proof. This being vndcation of my
position, l spent the balance of the evening
slipping ice-cream and discussing national politics
with ex-senator.
Business.
The funny paragrapher was walking