The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1889-12-12
University School Column.
edited by the editors of Ye Humbugge)

staff dropped in on US in our rooms, and be-
gan, in dictatorial way to lay down the
law to US. Now, if there be any one thing
which ruffies the placidity of this office and
tries sorely the long suffering of our genial
hearts, it is that self-assertive air of knowl.
edge which puffs out some of our friends
and makes them like unto the soap bubbles,
which in days of yore we blew from our
fathers best meerschaum pipe,-very pref
ty and gorgeous to tht eye, but very bitter
and stale to the taste when they burst But
to return to our "muttons," as we say when
we represent our paper in the French capt.
tai, this young friend, who had been read
ing some book of Bellamy's yclept "Looking
Backward" began to inveigh against the
decay of pulpit olatory, and to maintain the
practicability of telephone communication
with some central factory, where our bril-
liant speaker manufactured sermons for one
thousand smaller shops. Picture to your
editorial minds, said he, the beauty of
telephone connection with Mr.. Swings fac
tory, the stage of Mr.. Talmage's theatre and
the orchestra of Thomas. When you grow
tired of one turn him off, touch another
button aud turn on the orchestra; another
button will supply you with ginger pop.
Young man, we said, you are an inven-
tive genius, and we give you due credit for
your honesty of intention, but Us Huna6uggo
recognizes no such church 81 stem as you
advocate. We have been brought up in
the good old fashioned creed: "No parson,
no state" From early youth we have sat
on all kinds Of seats, in all sorts of church
es, chapel and meeting houses, and listened
to every variety of parsons. so you see it
must needs be a very ''rocky" parson that
can do us up to-day. Besides there are
certain rites for which we cling to the par
son, even as clings the ivy to some old ruin,
or to some dying tree.
n. B. This IS new smile just patented
at this Office What man would like to be
married by telephone? Who would like to
have his son and heir baptized by tele-
phone, or his mother-in-law consigned to
her rest by telephone? No, sir, we said, we
stick to the parsons. They may be as dull as
ditchwater, but they are better than tele-
phone. Our friend left. We know we
have lost friend, but we have kept solid
with the parsons and we have the con
seriousness of the fact that we have been
true to the teachings of our mother 81
believe it" etc.
Our special artist, gotten up in long hair
and fancy Mother Hubbard overcoat can
be seen parading through the park on any
of these bright mornings. Any person de-
sirous of picture of himself, his girl, his
horse, his COW, or his cottage may bring
them all separately or collectively, and
leave them by the band stand III the park
until our special artist comes that way.
Leave few postage stamps for the for
warding of the picture when finished.
Books left at our office for review:
Puppy Love-" A story of the affec-
tions, by Douglass and Charley.
"a Cab Mystery" A murder story, by
Pete and AL.
"a Church Fair" The RaZzle Dazzle
by the Fair. A funny story, by Chamber
and Lane.
Messrs Sheldon and Minty spent Sunday
at the School.
w. M. Lewis was in Chicago Tuesday.
Mr. Mcdowell took part in the dedica-
ton of the Auditorium Monday evening.
Judge Martins kindness in assisting the
students of Prof Seaver's Physics class is
greatly appreciated by both the Professor
and his students
All there, Billy! four tickets in the gall
lery of the Gods, eighty dollars? 'I guess
nitlets."
Labagh, LIE Breton and Myers will spend
Xmas vacation at the School.
During the past week active steps have
been taken towards organizing the glee
club and it is rumored we will have con-
cert very soon after vacation.
The last game of college BalT' was a
very exciting one. The sides were Messrs-
Rowe, Lowell and G. Sedgwick VS.. Mitch
ell, Smith and Paul Ray. The latter were
victorious by score of IL to s.
A very enjoyable evening was spent last
Monday by some of the boys at the dancing
school. The hall was just comfortably
filled, and in comparison with previous eve
nings, was COOL Mrs. Barnes in the alb
sence of Mrs. Newell, performed the duties
of chaperon and also rendered some of her
excellent dance music.
The Kenosha Leader has changed
hands, Messrs. Rudolph and Boissart, of
Bowling Green, Ohio, becoming the own
ers. $1,000 was the price they paid for the
paper. The paper had been advertised for