The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1889-05-24


here Tomorrow
$50 soon, puir. bonny Scot"
Wont it DO funny. though, 20 see
the old man bending gravely over
her, looking as though he were about
To deliver funeral Grafton. and bid
ding her in slow m-e-a-s-u-r-e-d
tones to be funny?"
Ten chances TO ono he'll frighten
ali the fun out of her. We're used
to him. and don't exactly tremble
with fear ut his frown. Ben Bolt
said Douglas.
But to a stranger and a woman il
strikes me he'll seem-well, rather
icc-bcrgey."
The next morning, at nine o'clock
precisely. the cditor-to-be OF The
Woman's Funny Department arrived.
She was not sharp as to bones. On
the contrary. she was plump enough to
mako you forget she had bones. She
was not of an uncertain age. On the
contrary, she was not more than two
and-twenty. She had not n clever.
ugly face. She had clever, pretty
one, with the saucicst of tip-tiltcd
noses. the most mischievous of spark
ling gray eyes, the wicledcst of tiny
white teeth. and the darkest of dark
auburn hair. arranged in pulls and
ilutTs. and curls and whirls in the most
bcwildering and bewitching fashion.
a profound silence rcigned behind
the doors, or rather the half-opeu doors
Of the cubby holes or rabbit hutches
when she made her appearance
As for the puir, bonny Scot, he arose
hastily, upsetting the muciIage bottle
rs he did so, and lifting pile of pa
pers and magazines from the chair she
was to occupy deftly deposited them
on the crown of his brand-new hat
which lay on the table before him. In
n few moments the old man came in,
bowed to the funny woman in a cold
and formal way, introduced her to
Douglas as Miss Margery Burr, gave
her n few directions in his timo-isn't-
worth-any-thin voice and disappeared
in his san ctum.
Miss Margery Burr proved Great
acquisition to the paper on which she
was engaged Her witty articles were
quoted far and wide. and she edited the
witty articles of others in such n skill
ful manner that they were twice as
good when they left her hands rs when
they came into il.
. " The Woman's Funny Department
was success grand success. Miss
Burr knew it was, and she knew she
had made it one. No one appreciated
her more than she appreciated her
self. Her own JOKES amused her i'm
mensely, and she had a way, when
she had written something that struck
her as irrcsistibly drol, Of bursting
into the iOlliest OF musical laughs. and
then reading il in clear, musical
voice TO McGregor Douglas And the
moment that laugh was heard, there
was nothing heard in that semi-circIe
OF cubby holes or rabbit hutches until
the point OF the joke was reached.
Then various sounds of merriment es-
capped from them
Hal ha! hai''
He-be-he-"
"HaW ~hawT'
Good" etc, etc, etc.
The fourth time this performance
took place the sanctum door opened
slowly and the old man came quietly
out, but not so quietly, however, but
that five or six pairs OF ears caught
the sound OF his footsteps and drowned
them AT once in the loud scratching of
pens, at the same moment that Douglas
seized an illustration designed for a
transfer and shipped it in two with q
great appearance OF interest in his
work But did Miss Margery Burr
bend quickly over her writing? No.
sir. No, ma am She looked directly
at the old man, her long silken lashes
well uplifted from her mischief-fuu
gray eyes. and said: ''Oh, Mr.. Ender-
by. would you like to hear IL, too?"
Il shall be content to enjoy it at the
proper time, when it appears in
print" said that gentleman. with more
than usual sternness, and again with
drew
But the very next day the excessive
comicality of another joke struck Miss
Burr with such force that another peal
Of laughter responded TO the blow.
And again Douglas. forgetting the ro-
proof OF the day before, threw himself
back in his chair and prepared TO
listen, and again silence reigued in the
cubby holes or rabbit hutches, and
again tho witticism was read and
again it was greeted with sounds OF
appreciation, much subdued 1t may be
confessed, from the semicircle OF un-
seen hearers-
Loi the result A notice printed In
large letters and placed where it could
not fail to be seen by all parties inter-
ested: Reading OF matter intended
for publication in the"-no matter
what never intended to give the
name, during Office hours strictly
forbidden"
"Horrid old thingi" said Miss Mar
gerry Burr when she beheld it. Z: Il
don't know what I'm going to do 1t
will be impossible for me to keep all
the funny things that pop into my head
to myself. Something dreadful will
happen 10 me, know, If Tn compelled
to- Something that won't fit into the
'woman's funny department at all
Oh, shan't be able to do it, / know
/ shan't! 1 shall be obliged to break
that rule, even though I'm discharged
without Il recommendation the mo-
ment after"
But she managed to keep it for two
days On the third, Douglas, feeling
the table that was between them be-
gin to shake. looked up to see her in a
paroxysm OF silent laughter. In vain
he shook an admonishing finger at
her. In vain she struggled TO ooey
the admonishing finger. Open few
her rosy little mouth, and out gurgled
the not-to-bo imprisoned laugh. Then
she began TO read. but Douglas
scissored away as though his life de
pended on the number OF interesting
items he secured from his exchanges