The Opelousas courier., 1889-02-09
Evils or GiTt.Giying.

Sham and show, perp1exity, annoy
ance, and extravaganza have crept into
the custam of gift giving Though one
s, ny make q gift out of the depth of the
heSnk, and do it becomingly and unas-
sumihslly, yet it seems as if a dozen in
fuences were bearing on him to force
him into a~geeater expense than he can
afford, or to give where he is reluctant
to do SO, or whefe~sste must make a show
of the article given SsQuiet, unostenta-
tious, spontaneous 4 %eing shines
brightly, when we fin amid the
dreary heartIessness, the Ny show,
and the heartburnings thu Zen &C.
company the formal givinls that lis a
part Of social life. 3 -
The reader may call to mind some
wedding or birthday anniversary that
she is invited to help celebrate. The
problem of all problems, even outrank-
ins the common "What sh.47,I wear?"
then is, what present shan I send?"
1t is not enough to go and participate
in the social duties and to be cordial in
we'll wishing and congratulasion, for
none of this will pardon the neglect or
oversight of the gift. There will be
the question, "Where is Mrs. 1eeckson's
presept?" and then the unp easant
comment if she has made none. So
Mrs. Jacks n sets out to find some
compromise between pride and purse,
perhaps poverty, something that costs
no more than absolutely compulsory,
and yet looks as If it were worth a
great deal moro, something Chat the
other gut,a s will not look st sighting
ly, if not ltiteak of contemptuously, or
at least thrpk of in the same spirit.
And the tie guests compare these
proxies o~hrehemselves and put them
selves or OF Exhibition, after a fashion,
about in tie, same way that they would
do if they rere to stand up before o
committee INF critics and have the style
and eleganSr of their clothing passed
upon. Thelehow is at last over, but
!, the ~jealousfiis and heartburnings re-
main, the fe A that responsibility has
been endan;SSlle,d by the insignifeance
of the gift, y" me the overlapping con
seriousness oftea few that they each
made the bestWwor one of the best, pres
ents of the LOT tn,
Afterward, ae is more or less the
custom in some sdIarts of the country,
the names of thhaldonors and a brief
description of thGIls gifts appear in some
newspaper, there ano undergo furtheI
comparison and cwicism and all the
train of accompant thents. finally, il
the present was valuable enough, it
may find it's way to a shop where dupli-
cate presents are bought and sold, SO
little did the receiver care about the
personality of the giver. Or of sub
little use is it to the recipient among
several other presents of the same kind.
Gift extortion and compulsory gift
making are little less than sinful, il
they fall short of that. Gifts are by nc
means always the token of friendship,
and, when combined with the abuses
that are often made to accompany them,
they are demoralizing; they are un'
pleasant features of what take the form
of duties. and they are dark spots il
social life.
Something is wrong when a present
is made a test. of social standing, Oh
shen it is made the prerequisite fol
performing a social act. There is al
opportunity for reform when what ii
apparently a friendly deed is confess
5dly empty of honest intent, when it Ii
burdensome, annoying, compulsory
fa~lse-hearted, or made for show, or evi
dence of wealth, or merely for socia
conformity.
The only excuse that one a maxi
for these, abuses of gift-making is tina
their compulsory features have the ef
feet Of putting people into the habit o
making presents at a time when thei
friendly Falings have not becom
strong enough to prompt the act un
aided. With the growth of these feel
ings, the custom gradually gets a bet
ter and surer foundation, and stand
more plainly in harmony with civiliza
ton. A gift should be an emboesEsn
of sentiment, from which cost shout
be totally divorced rs an element c
weight. and with which. no social com
pulsion should be linked, except tn
compnlsion of a spontaneous expires
sion of feeling. The world is not goo
enough for this yet, but some attempt
if only a feeble one, if general enough
would be a green oasis in the soci:
desert.-Good Housekeeping.