davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26
1T TELLS YOUR AGE.
An Automatic Machine That Will Not Be
Popular With Women.

An Automatic Machine That Will Not Be
Popular With Women.
The latest s. drop-a-nickel-in-t
slot" machine to make its public ap-
pearance is a device calculated to make
the unenlightened observer believe
that the evil one is behind it all. It is
a neat little nickel-plated instrument,
set up on a polished wooden pedestals
and will tell any mans age-and any
wOman's tOO-with an invariable ac-
curacy that is startling. The instru-
ment itself is about twelve inches high,
and in it's face are set six verified rows
of figures, running in an uneven, jerky
way, from five to eighty. Over each
column is sort of little piston rod,
with a fiat metal top.
The printed directions tel. you to
drop your nickel in the slot, then
press your foot hard down on a little
pedal that projects from the base of
the pedestal This done you are in
structed by little printed slip which
pops out just beneath the figures to
press with you fingers the piston rod
over each of the columns which con-
tains two figures of your age. Thus,
if you are twenty-six years old. say,
you find that number in one of the
columns and press down the rod. Inn
mediately there pops into view the
figure 8. You look for another column
with 26 in it, press the rod and the
figure 10 comes quickly out. Then
you find another 26 in another column,
press the rod and another 8 is the re-
suit. Add 8. 10 and together and
you discover that you are twenty-six
years old. 1t is very simple, and if
you are honest with it the machine
never fails.
The arrangement of the figures SO
that the age of guesser may be dis
covered is very old scheme. but it
has never before been mechanically
developed.-N. Y. Times.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26

tree in the front yard, and the whippoorwin
was singing in the pasture down by the
creek. Mary, having finished her evening
chores, stole silently out by the front porch
and hurried swiftly away in the fast-gath-
ering darkness. fancy the reader need
scarcely be told where she was bound. On
she went until she reached the corner of a
large wood lot nearly half mile from her
fathers house. Here she stopped, and, al
most out of breath, seated herself on an
old log. A moment later she heard the
sound of wheels approaching, and she
stood up and listened. Presently q man in
buggy drove up aud, springing from his
seat, caught her in his arms.
"Oh. Jet, " the girl whispered, as soon as
they had exchanged greetings, pap is
awful mad. He almost ordered me out Of
the house If ever spoke to you ak'in, an
him an mother are havin' words about it
yet"
Jet, . big, tall fellow, straight and broad
shouidered, with brown eyes and an hon
est, sunburnt face, Strengthened himself up
proudly, aud, throwing his hat well back on
his head. an act that indicated his frank
and fearless nature, laughed loud and long.
"Wen.: he said. as soon as he could speak
again, .some old people are bound ter be
fools, cause they Just can't help it, I s'pose.
But Wen show 'em q trick or two, Mary;
Just git in the buggy an come with me.''
He assisted her In and they drove rapidly
away.
So
The next morning old Abe sat ON the
front porch smokinR. His good wife WAS
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26
PAINLESS EXECUTION.
A New Method of "Removlng" Condemn
Criminals.

A New Method of "Removlng" Condemned
Criminals.
Modern sentiment opposes the exc
cution of criminals by hanging, for
the barbarity that attends it; CARROT
ing is scarcely less barbarous; decapi-
tation. shooting and burning at the
taking of life by electric shocks. al
though approved by the Empire State,
is so uncertain that it can not be de-
pended upon as sure means of de-
stroying life.
In the interest of humanity. and
that the aims of justice may be pro-
noted with unerring effect and in the
most painless manner. without de-
scending to barbarity. the writer
would suggest the following method
of removing" condemned criminals.
Let the person to be executed be
placed, blindfolded and naked, in an
easy reclining posture in bath tub
through which a stream of blood-warm
water is continually passing. When
properly seated in the bath the
body and lower limbs should be
entirely submerged in the warm
stream. Then. with sharp
lancet. let the attending surgeon open
several veins in the calves and feet of
the condemned. The thrusts of the
lancet in the warm water would scarce
ly be felt Many a man has adopted
this painless method of committing
suicide. The gradual loss of blood,
mingling with the flowing stream,
would be almost unperceived by the
victim. who would gradually weaken
and in a short time lose all conscious.
ness and seusibility-a condition
(known as syncope)-from which
there could be no recovery.
The time that would elapse before
death could be determined only by the
amount of blood to be drawn and the
tenacity Of life p9zzessed by the con-
demned fe hasten the elimination
of the affair after syncope had been es-
tablished, the surgeon might puncture
the femoral artery.
The stream of warm water contin-
ually passing through and from the
bath during the entire execution,
would rob it of its most repulsive feat.
ures. by carrying of the blood as fast
as it flowed from the veins of the con-
demned, and leave the body ready
washed for buriaL-Henry NJ. Hugun-
in. in Chicago Journal of Commerce.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26
A Clever Chinese Trick.

Sergeant Whitman arrested a high
binder the other night. and while
searching him found a clever device
which explains the phenomenal luck
that willy Mongolian has been enjoying
at poker of late. The arrangement con-
sists of a steel clip, which is fastened
inside of one sleeve. Two cords reach
up the sleeve. across the breast and
down the other sleeve to the hand.
where one is fastened to the thumb
and the other to one of the fingers.
By pull of one cord the clip reaches
out and takes in q card, which is at
once drawn up the sleeve. Pulling
the other cord causes the card to be
shot out into the hand of the PLAYER
with lightning rapidity. and without
any part of the mechanism being ex-
posed. The fellow who had the ma
chine fought strenuously against Civ
ing it up.-San Francisco Chronicle.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26


He'll get it. whoever he isr'
whispered to mother. '.Biddy'n gtrc
| it to himr'
Then there came the sound of
chair or table being overturned, and
again Biddy shrieked:
Il won't! I svon't! Ha. ha. ha!
Get out! Get out! Out. out. out!
Ha. ha!''
Then followed such wild, mad shrieks
as we had never heard even Biddy ut
ter before.
She would laugh, and then scream,
| and again cry:
II sOon't. Ha. ha, ha! Get out!n'
Pulling myself away from mother. 1
ran to the door. unlocked it, and cried
out boldly: take him. Biddy! Sic
him, Biddy! Catch himr' unmindful
of the fact that Biddy was bird, and
not dog.
The scuffiing sound had ceased, and
lighted a lamp; but it was some time
before mother would allow me TO go
to Biddy. although had not the least
fear of doing so.
''Biddy has settled him. said. con-
fidently, and when mother did finally
permit me to go to my pet. found
her as nearly hysterical as it is posi-
BILE for a bird to become.
Some of her long. green feathers
were lying about the room. and she
limped as she walked across the floor
toward me from a corner of the room.
First she would laugh and then cry,
saying incoherently:
IL soont! Poor Biddy! Biddy wants
her break fast! Ha, ha! Biddy's a
worm! Ha. ha! I'm the mayors lady!
Get out! Ra-a-a-gs! Ra-a-ags
to buy! Nice, fresh banara'. ten cent
doz! Ha, ha! Fine day. sir! He, hee.
hee! Poor Biddy!'
She was quite beside herself with
excitement and with citation over her
victory. for it was evident that she
had put to rout some midnight ma
rauder.
A window>of the room leading to
small piazza was open wide, and there
were bloody finger-marks on the white
paint of the window sill.
The three chairs in the room were
overturned. Biddy's cage was on the
floor, and there was an old SLOUGH hat
in the center of the room; and, most
convincing of all, there was tuft of
reddish-brown hair in Biddy's beak,
and in a corner the wig from which it
had come as she pulled it from the in
vader's head.
There was no doubt that the room
had been entered by burglar and
Biddy had gallantly shown fight. In
his efforts to seize and silence her in
the darkness, the invader had evident
ly been severely punished. and had
finally fed the field as her screams
continued and the danger of detection
became greater.
Jane came down stairs. and we went
back to mothers room, taking Biddy
with us, and sat up the remainder of
the night listening to Biddy's ram
bliugs, for she talked and laughed al
ternately until day break, and, having
heard me say them, her pet words for
many days were:
''Biddy whipped the burglar! Biddy
whipped the burglar! Hurrah for Bid
dyr'-Zenas Dane. in Golden Days.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26
MECHANICAL PROGRESS.


a New and Simple Method For the Trans-
mission OF Power.
There has been for some time before
the public a novel device for the trans
mission of power that has claimed the
attention of manufacturers to a con-
siderable degree. both on account Of
its simplicity and its radical departure
from ordinary methods of betting. 1t
consists simply In placing q loose belt
between the pulleys or cones. as the
case may be. instead of encircling the
pulleys with belt The most re-
markable thing about this device and
the characteristic which makes the
greatest claim to attention of those
interested. Is the fact that more power
can be transmitted by this method Of
betting, If We are to believe its expo
nents, with less pressure on the bear
ings than by the ordinary practice in
betting. This, at first sight seems
unreasonable and against all practice
and experience with frictions of any
similar kind. But, the results of tests
made both by manufacturers and by
celebrated experts. seem to prove this
beyond all doubt. the fact being that the
belt which runs between the pulleys is
loose and free to act under the infiu-
ences of the forces which operate upon
it. Wherever power is to be trans
mitted from one shaft to another, it
can be done in this way. in a great
deal less space. By a simple arrange
meEt any shaft or line of shaft
ing or machine can be easily
started or stopped without recourse
to loose pulleys. Cone pulleys driven
by this method for changing the speed
of paper machines are found to be
more efficient, convenient and reliable
than the customary methods of cones
and speed gears, and they are being
fast adopted by the largest and best.
paper mills in this country. 1t prom
ises to be especially valuable in cleo
trio light stations where the question
of room is of prime Importance. and
where it is necessary to have a reliable
method of transmitting power from
the engine wheel to the dynamo. which
will give a steady speed. By this
method it is possible to do this in
way which is extremely simple and
direct, and which admits of further
advantages such as, for instance, the
facility with which any dynamo may
be started or stopped. independently
of any other machine. and a great saw
ing in the first cost of belt and future
OUTLAWS for the long belts. such as are
used to-day. At the Chestnut Hill
pumping station. city of Boston water
department. they are driving their
electric light plant by this method,
and with the most satisfactory results.
Many manufacturers. realizing the i'm
portance of this system and the change
it will make in some lines of mill
practice. are making arrangements to
embody it in their machinery, and
some of them have already made ex-
tensive alterations in their plant to
end.-Boston Advertiser.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26
JET WAYMIRE.
The Story Of His Courtship and
Marriage.

OW, looky here.
Mary, I'm not goln'
ter hev that derned
onery Jet Waymire
roun' here courtln'
you, an that settles
it. Eff ever he sets
foot inside my door
yardPll erbout break
his blamed neck,
that's what I'll do;
an that's. the word
with q bark on it. !"
Old Abe Pitzen-
berger delivered
himself of the above
quoted remarks as
he sat one summer
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26

We have often been asked why We
did not establish Daily Kicker. and
many individuals have promised US
their hearty support In the first
place, we are now running under one
roof great weekly newspaper. a har-
ness shop. a grocery, feed store and
a great boot and shoe house. and We
haven't much spare time. and in the
second place, when we have any
money to throw away well do II py
establishing a school of philosophy for
Indians. We've got q good thing as II
is, and we don't sigh for ths vhds
earth.-Arizona Kicker.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26

PAP, ME AND MARY'S MARKED"
ing her arm IN his they walked boldly along
the path toward the house. Mary and her
mother met half way in each others arms,
but old Abe sat still and smoked Jet
walked up to him, and slapping HIM on the
shoulder, said: Pap, me an Mary s married.
What you goin' to do erbout it!'
The old man smoked on in silence for a
moment, than he answered:
''Nothin', reckon. But the next time
find good bee tree and you git to it afore
do an steal all the honey, you'll at least
divide with me, speshuily as it'll all be in
the family, ennyhow?'
''I on bet WILL laughed Jet, in reply,
IAN know of a mighty good one ri ght now
Well go an tap it ter-morrer''
And they did.-Ed R. Pritchard, in Ar
kansaW Traveller.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26
OLD SAWS IN RHYME.

Let sleeping dogs lie: barking dogs never bite
live dog bad name and then hang him out
right.
whipped cur breads the lash; burnt child
breads the fire,
Though speaking the truth. no one believes q
liar.
Penny wise and pound foolish; easy come, easy
go;
As light as a feather; as black as a crow.
Save at the spigot and lose at the bung:
4 man won't be drowned who IL born to be
hung.
Too big for his buttons; hail fellow well met;
Eyes bigger than his belly; forgive and forget.
1 place for each thing and each thing in its
place.
Zine feathers 1ine birds make; two wrongs
make no right;
Say nothing but saw wood; hindsight beats
foresight
Fishing for a compliment; never say die:
God ne'er lets the trees grow up into the sky.
Make or break; small potatoes and few to the
hill:
IT'S the quiet pig always gets most OF the swilL
Faint heart never won lady fair; nip and tuck;
Blessings brighten when taking their fight;
fools for luck;
A fool and his money soon parts; fast and loose !;
What's sauce for the gander is sauce for the
goose.
Little ship near the shore ought to keep; hit or
miss:
IT'S folly to wise be when ignorance is bliss.
Any port in a storm; q bee in his bonnet;
A flea in his ear; If the cap fits put on it.
penny for your thoughts; catch weasel
asleep;
Money makes the mare go; still waters run
deep;
Love laughs at locksmiths; i'll news travels
fast;
The mill doesn't grind with the water that is
past.
Make hay while the sun shines; more haste
less speed;
A friend in your need is good friend indeed.
What's one persons loss is another ones gain;
Much cry. little wool; nothing made is in vain.
AS ugly as sin and as cross as a bear.
Up to-day, down tomorrow; bark's worse than
his bite:
IT'S darkest before dawn, and might maketh
right.
stitch done in time will save nine; extremes
meet;
Strike while the iron is hot; good as wheat;
Never too late too amend or to learn;
What's every ones business is no ones con-
Germ.
n. G. Dodge, in Goodalrs Sun.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26
rs STRANGE.

lis strange how positions can change
The weight OF an object through palns
A hornet, fDr instance. may range
Ger the shining bald roof OF the brain.
And as long as he stands mp erect
He's as light as ray of the sun.
Yet, let him but sssQuat down" and 10!
Said hornet weighs fully ton!
It's strange, too, that moments there ara,
AS death stares us straight in the eye
When It's safer and wiser by far
= To stand perfectly still and not dy.
And one of those moments is when,
In turning a corner, you meet
A cross-eyed and bow-legged man
Face to face ON tho curb of the street!
A. NJ. KERR
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26
A SUBMARINE BRIDGE.

The Novel Proposal Made BY Well
known Swedish Engineer.
A proposal recently brought for
ward by Herr Rudolf Lilljeqvist, a
Swedish engineer, for effecting perma-
nent railway communication between
Sweden and Copenhagen. merits some
notice. as introducing a new mode
never as yet. however. put to the test
of actual experience-of carrying a
line beneath the sea-
The distance between Elsinore and
Helsingborg is about two and a half
| miles; and the massage is frequently
blocked in wilter by ice, preventing
navigation. The cost of an ordinary
bridge, which would of necessity have
to be carried sufficiently high above
sea-level to offer no impediment to
vessels. would be prohibitive in a
country but sparsely populated and of
limited financial resources; whilst the
additional strength requisite in the
piers to Withstand damage to the
structure from the floating blocks of
ice would add very materially to the
estimates.
The proposal put forward is to con-
struct an ordinary girder bridge of one
hundred feet spans. and sink it to such
a depth that ample room is left for ves-
sells of the greatest draught to sail
over it; the bridge being encased in
cy lindrical tubes, which exclude
the water; the outer skin of
the tube being of iron. that
inside of steel. the space between
being filled with concrete The tubes
inclosing the bridge are to be carried
on ordinary caisson piers filled with
concrete and spaced one hundred feet
apart pontoons similar to those so
successfully employed in the construc-
ton of the Tay bridge being adopted
for founding.
The bridge. which is to carry a
single line of railway. with foundation
and encasing tubes, but exclusive Of
the land approaches. is estimated to
cost about three-quarters of million
sterling.
The scheme may be described as an
ingenious compromise between an Or
binary bridge and tunnel; and it 10
claimed that it combines the advan-
tages of each. whilst avoiding the at
tendant drawbacks of construction,
and heavy outlay involved in the e1-
ecution of either in this particular
case.
The general idea. it may be added,
is not altogether novel. and has pre-
viously been mooted; indeed. some
years back similar method OF passing
under the Thames was proposed and
commenced, some lengths OF the enc
casing tube being actually put in hand
The project. however. was abandoned,
owing, it is understood. to financial
difficulties, and has never been resus-
citated. Journal
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26

This is the road that most Of our
young take to destruction: .-On q
small income he must have three or
four fifty dollar suits per year; must
be shaved by q fashionable barber;
must carry an expensive cans and a
fine silk umbrella; must board at
fashionable house; must take his dull
cinea to the theater at a total cost
of seven dollars. including tickets,
carriage and supper. and so on"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26

Alexandra Dumas used to tell the
following anecdote- Being one even
ing at the St. Carlo. Naples. he entered
into conversation with q stranger sit
ting in the stall next to him 81
hope" said the latter at the close of
the performance "that we may have
the pleasure of meeting again. / am
Alexandra Dumas" '.Oh, indeed?"
replied the celebrated novelist. with
gay laugh. $50 am Ir' The stranger
collapsed"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26

JNSUL at Haytl IS
the office to which
President Harris on
has appointed Fred
Douglass. Isuppose
the appointment is a
good thing; forDoug-
lass is undoubtedly
one of the ablest, if
not the ablest, colored
man in the country.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26
HOW SAW FRED DOUGLASS.

Alex e. Sweet Relates Amusing Rem.
iniscence of the Great Colored Orator.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26

ssCharley, DEAR" said the rustic youns
girl, twill you love me as now and cling tc
me alwayss''
eyes, darling" replied the matter-of-f act
lover; ssI'u stick to you as tight a. that wart
On tour chin."-Arcola Record.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26

The next morning old Abe sat ON the
front porch smoking. His good wife was
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1889-09-26


When father had gone mother came
to my room to ask me to come and
sleep on the lounge. as usual. and 1
opened the door of Biddy's cage before
left the room. that she might enjoy
her promenade when daylight came.
Although mother had said she was
sure she SHOULD not sleep a wink"
heard her breathing in that heavy,
measured way common to sound sleep
ers when awakened a few moments
before the clock struck one. / was
not very timid boy. but as I lay
there in the darkness. trying to go to
sleep again. I could think of nothing
but the large sum of money locked in
the upper drawer of the dressing-case
at my feet.
thought of all the robberies and
burglaries had ever heard of. and
while my nerves were becoming keen
" sensitive under the influence OF
these pleasing reflections heard q
sound as of some one moving at the
end of the hall.
sat up. excited and trembling. and
the next instance Biddy broke out in
shrill. sharp screams and cries of:
81 won't! Iwon't! s0on't!
heard the sound of smothered inn
precautions. and then my mother woke
with an alarmed cry, and could feel
her trembling In every limb and her
breath coming in quick gasps as she
came and knelt BY my bed. with her
arms around me-
With the first sound of Biddv's voice
my cowardice gave place to boyish
pride in her valor, and to satisfaction,
in the reflection that she would b
able to hold her own against the in.
! vader.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-09

her return to the stage, and even her noble
relations withdrew their opposition in the
face of such genius. No actress has ever
aroused the social furore which Ristori ex-
cited at that time.
LIFE OF EASE.
Now Ristori simply leads The life of q
great society lady-she has wealth-a num-
Der OF palaces in Rome, servants in livery,
carriages and every luxury that appertalns
to her high position. When Mary Ander-
son was In Rome Ristori was very kind to
her-and frankly admired her as q fresh,
sweet young girl. She never saw her play
ing. perhaps she devined she could not, for
she is rather jealous of new rivals, even
though she herself is retired from the stage.
She detests Bernhart.
Some time ago, while excavating the eel
lar OF one OF her palaces, fine collection of
antique bronzes was discovered. Strangely
enough, most of them were of dramatic sub
Jects They are now in her art gallery.
l heard young American artist in Paris
tell a very amusing story of SaIvini. The
young artist had lived in New England
boarding house where there was fat old
Yankee widow who had never been to the
theater In her life, was a devout church
woman, and disapproved of "plav actors
She was most severely moral, yet enjoyed
scandals, and delighted in reading aloud at
the breakfast table the most ample newspa-
per revelations" and especially reveled in
good divorce trial with "details" s"-at the
same time disproving of them with great Sc
verify. 1t was at the time of some domestic
infelicity of Marie Prescott, Salvini's lead
ing lady. The old dame read aloud in full
the trial, then turning suddenly on our art
ist asked:
"Who is this Marie Prescott?"
30, she supports Salvini," he replied.
Supports Salvini! why, what do you
mean? 1 thought he was very rich. Isn't
he that great Italian actor?''
OLIVE WESTON.