The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-03-07
PUNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

4AAeHAu4aOSOIOIS Va pure SEOuHU
coffee will be interested to know that
there is no duty on chicory or dande-
lion root.-TerGs Stfttngs.
Only poor men write books on
''How to Get Rich. :" The rich men
themselves will not give the snap
away.-M o. Picayuae.
While the modern husband has
much to answer for, it can not be said
against him that he ever goes through
his wife's pocket. Courier.
If anybody wants to test the folly
of gambling let him take chances at a
charity fair. The experience will be
good obiect-lesson. .-Balttmors Anser-
icGn.
If the granite powders that make
the Falls of Niagara should ever wear
away they can be replaced by the
cheeks of Niagara hackmen and be
made to last forever. o. PicGyttfse.
-''Will the coming man perspire?"
asks an exchange. Not unless he is a
dude. If he is an ordinary everyday
citizen he will simply sweat. BurIing-
ton Free Press.
-Elsie-"Bob, wish you would tell
me how handkerchief Irritation is
worked" Easy and simple
enough, sister-with two fools and two
handkerchiefs. "-ToOn Topics.
-Wife-"What lovely little bon
net! Who brought it upP" Husband
"A small boy, my dear" Wife
''Did he bring the bfll?" Husband
80. no; guess they'll send that up on
hand-cart. y Washington Post.
George" writes to inquire what
athletic game he had better cultivate
in order to improve his appetite. Try
draw poker, my boy. Stick to it, and
you will be hungry most of the time
Terre Haute Express.
Young Doctor B. is run down with
business. ''You must earn a mint OF
money" said friend to him one day.
''Not at all; my patients don't pay
''No? But their heirs ought to stand
something handsome. Judge.
-Freshly-"Betwten you and me.
Sprlngley, Miss h0salle is charming
girl. I'm really quite gone in that
quarter" Springley-''O, you don't
know how that will please her. She
told me the other evening that when
you called she always thought you
would never go. boston Post.
1t is said that in eight cases out of
ten if man gets $4,000 all of sud-
den he will either go cracked in the
head or make a laughing stock of him
self. That's doubtless the reason why
Providence keeps $4,000 away from
so many of us.-Detron Free Press.
Newspapers humorist (sarcastically
to his best girD-'People may sneer
and laugh at my special line of work,
but it brings in the dollars just the
same" Best girl (reproachfully)-"I
hope, Charley, you don't include me. I
never think of laughing at your work. "
N ?. San.
Impatient husband-'W in the
world have you been? want my dim
ner." Wife Excuse me, John, but
ran down to the sewing society at five,
and to my surprise it didn't wind up
until eight" Husband-"You mean it
was wound up at five and didn't run
down until eight. Exchange.
-Paterfamilias Cat the supper-table
to Mr.. Thomas Catch, Susie's beau
sIt is said that a Spaniard can live
upon an onion and few olives day.
It seems surprising to us, does it not?"
-Susie's Little Brother "Mr. Catch,
know what you live on" Mr.. Catch
what. Tommy?'' Little Brother
''On your aunt; pa said so."- Yankee
Blade.
The Governor of Alaska, in his
annual report to the Secretary Of the
Interior, states that the white popuIa-
ton has greatly increased, and he es-
Inmates that there are $1,000 natives
The total population is 1880, and Of
this number there are $500 whites,
l.900 creoles, and 1850 Aleuts. He
further states that the climate is favor
able and the soil rich, and he sees no
reason why Alaska should not soon
take its place as rival of Montana and
Wyoming territories.