The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-14
BRIGHT BITS.

AYSABEL-Count. dear, love to have you pat
my cheek in your true, loving way. 1t seems
so restflIl.
Count (sotto voice)-Zounds, can re girl
know vaz re barber in my own countree?-
Kedrney Enterprise.
MRS. SwILLEM-I should think you'd have
more self-respect than to drink the way you
do.
fun selfr 'speck. nn'dear that l center every
shloon by back door.-NeU York Weekly.
OUGHT TO BE SATISFIED Papa who had just
been made magistrate, addressing his little
oaughter)ZLlly, can marry people now; did
you know thatf
Lily (anxiouslyl-But you won't, papa. Don't
you think mammals enough?-HGrper's Bdzdr.
Mrs. BRowN-Your husband looks com
pletely tired out.
Mrs Cobwigger-So he is my dear He has
been walking around all day looking for a job
He has never done any work in his life before
You know, he always mad a government job
Epoch.
Force. gentlemen - said the professor, land
power are not always found in large bodies
Sometimes the smallest things will be more
powerful than the great ones. Can you give
me an Illustration, Mr.. Blowitin?"
THE ace of trumps, sir" replied the student.
Laurence american.
wIcKwIRE-What board do you pay at your
new place?
Yabsley-Three dollars week
WicKwlre-fou must get rather simple fare
for that low price?
Yabsey-O, no. It's quite complicated
mostly hash, you know.-Terre Hnitte Express.
An UNDERGROUND MysTERY.-Uncle 81 Low
watching pile-drivers at work on a West street
foundation)-Waal, swowl I've heerd about
your buryin' the wires but this do beat all
ldler-What's this got to do with it?
Uncle Si-Why, when you git them telegraph
poles druv into the ground, how do the men git
down to string the wires'-IerGS S3tin0s.
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER Tin New York)-An
these things, children that l have been speak
ing of will take place when the millennium
comes.
Small Boy (who reads the papers)-Ain't a
goln' to be any millennium, ma'am.
Teacher-Why not, Tommy
Small Boy-ChicagoW get it.-Chtcaqo
Tribune.
THE Philadelphia Press claims that Sir Walter
Raleigh used to get drunk and fight, and that
he was 50 profane that only wicked men could
at times listen to his conversation. Isn't it
rather late 20 spring this on Walt? He prob
ably had his failing, same as the rest of us but
he's gone dead and that should END it. 1t would
be more progressive to so for Ben Butler-De-
trott Free Press.
COPYRIGHT ALL He WANTs-Manager lat
peekhole back of the curtain)-Why. Jones, my
boy, it's almost O'Clock and there are only five
people in the house.
Dramatist Jones trying to appear indiffer-
ent, though he has hired the company and the
theater(-O, that's all right. I'm only playing
the piece to secure the American copyright
before taking it to England; see!-TerdS Sift-
tTlgS.
Doctor VERSUS LAwYER.-A physician of an
acrimonious disposition, and having thorough
hatred of lawyers, reproached barrister with
the use of phrases utterly unintelligibe. For
example" said he, Il never could understand
what you lawyers mean by docking an entail -
That is very likely" answered the lawyer,
but will explain it to you: 1t is doing what
you doctors never consent to-suffering a re.
covery. "-Terds Siftings.
MANAGING EDITOR of Evening Hdlf- Moon-Is
there anything that will do for an extra to-day?
Telegraph Editor-There is a terrible mine
disaster in Pennsylvania; thirty lives lost.
Not of sufficient interest"
"A man on the East Side murdered his fam
lily and killed two policemen"
80, that would not do. 1t is not intense
enough"
"A special announces that John L. is drunk
again and smashed the Niger prize fighter in
the jaw"
''Ah? that's the kind of news the people
want. Hustle out an extra, will you?"-Tin1e.