Morning journal and courier., 1889-03-08
" HAT TO DO.
If You are Kun over by 8 Brewers Cart and are Particular About Do- ing she Proper Thing.

If You are Kun over by 8 Brewers
 Cart and are Particular About Do-
 Ing she Proper Thing.
 From the New York Sum-
 Lie still until witnesses come by and see you in the road.
 Send for basket and gather yourself up in it if necessary.
 Do not chide the driver. He might get mad and hit you, and patients suffering from accidents of this nature are rarely able to argue with an angry driver.
 Do not be downcsst and ashamed over the run over by brewers carts
 If the wheels have passed over your vest make an immediate memorandum of the fact, so that when you sue for damages you may get new vest beside the purely personal damages.
 The scriptures say that if man is smit- ten upon his right cheek he should turn his left around for it's smite too; but this does not apply to the case of the man across has passed. There is no necessity for him to turn over so that the cart may return and run over his back. Keep your wits about you, and do not let l the driver bulldoze you into paying for dam age done to his cart. If he tries to conciliate you by giving you | some beer out of one of bis kegs decline it. | Five thousand dollars damages is better than reconciliation over beer keg. | If your back is broken do not decline to ! have 1t mended until you have settled on | who is going to pay for the mending.
 Do not be run over by brewers carts in l the presence of ladies'. | If you live through the accident do not brag unduly about it unless you wish to make your friends regret your survival. It is not necessary to tip the driver who runs over you. l Do not kick the horses for stepping on your feet. The driver and not the horses is ! to blame.
 ! Take the brewers address the moment the accident happens.
 l Do not rejoice unduly if you only break six ribs. This would seem to indicate care lessness on your part. which would be detri mental to your case in court.
 Howl as loud as you can. In the eyes oi | witnesses this will be to large extent the ! standard whereby to measure your injuries Be docile when the ambulance comes and l permit yourself to be put in it without un due excitement. You might catch cold ii left lying in the roadway, and if you caugh, ! cold the lawsuit would probably be quasheG
 
 Keep your mouth shut. Wait until yor
 have decided on the story of the accident you intend to swear to before you begin te talk about it.
 Even if you prefer Milwaukee beer to Kai
 ser, do not be less stern in pursuit of Mil
 waukee brewers wagon than you would il
 pursuit of beer brewers cart that has ru1
 over you. Feelings of purely personal na
 ture should not be allowed to interfere witl justice or to mitigate the heinousness of | crime of this nature.
 Even if you are an allopath you need no
 get mad because homeopathic physician I helps you into the ambulance. Do not faint after the accident, especiall if you carry valuables upon your person. Keep to your bed for at least twenty-fou hours after the accident, particularly if al your ribs and both legs are broken. Do not bear hard feelings against the dri , yer after you have won your suit for dana ees. Help get him some nice position unde ! the government at Sing Sing, or use your ir 8 fuence to get him vacation and free pas q to the island for six months.