The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-09-14
How - League Umpire wss Foolsd by .
Player. \

From the Detroit Free Press.
There IL q base hall player in one of the
leagues who is worth u very large sum of
money. He does not play for the money
there is i'm IL, but for am enthusiasm of the
great game of base hall. He is a gentle
manly fellow who has u temper of his own
when he is reused. The other day "a player
OH the opposite side made n hit which he
thought was a home run, and which. he
cause of the umpirc's unwatchfulness,
proved tn he one. He damned around the
ner. speeding on tn third without having
touched second base. The player i'm qtler-
ton loudly called the umpire's attention
to it and, as the umpire was looking dirsct-
ly i'm that direction, IL seemed to him that
he ought to have seen il.
II tell yon'' said the player, ''that this
man never touched second base."
~ tell you,", said the umpire. "ti'at ]
didn't see it,"
the diamond, ''it's your business to see il.
Everybody who was watching saw that
this man didn't touch second base. and he
'He il not out" said the umpire.
'well. he ought to bc OUT said the
81 fine you S." said the umpire.
You can fine as much as you please"
said the player. 'but l say that man is
~ make that So"
~ see you $1O," cried the base ball
go you $40 better. You have no business
on b hall field IL you do such injustice as
that"
.Fine and he hanged" cried the other.
cost You Just SEQ" He said tits with the
air of n man who had concluded matters.
well" said the player. tits worth $50
what kind of an umpire you are. What's
an umpire on The ground for. should like
.'One hundred dollars" said the UNI
pire.
''Exactly: that's just about the good you
pirinR. Your eyes might AS well be in the
That fellow evidently Thinks said the
umpire to one of the directors afterwards,
THAT I'll remit those fines. but l tell you
they go. I don't stand such Ginning and
then take back the fine
"He doesn't care for the fine" said the
director. 'tiat mans worth s75o.OOo."
Good gracious cried the umpire. AS
he tainted on the ground.
The Uses Of Lying.
From the New York Tribune.
A man will lead "a strictly upright,
straightforward life all through the au-
tumn. winter and spring; nothing hut the
truth will come from his lips during the
whole of this space of time; he will return
at the end of his summer vacation and lie
most unbl,isllingly about the size and
amount of game that died by his hand.
This seems to be universal and il has
been observed ever since man went down
to the streams with bone hooks or at
tachcd a dried tendon To ~ stone. and en-
joyed the exciting sport of chasing the
antediluvian mammoth through the pre-
historic forests of anthracite coal trees.
Coming close to the great heart of Nature.
We are told, is ~ good thing for n man but
coming there whcn i'm the quest Of game
makes u liar of him nine times ont OF ten.
Making Thing. Even.
From the Chicago Tribune.
"Darling.' said the young man, as he
~tenderly raised the lovely head from the
-u.-. ~ha.x. e hal rx..<uI ~ -.,. ~.
more, got up. sat down again OH the other
side OF the beautiful maiden, and once
more drew the golden curls to his BOSOM,
..you have no objection tn this slight
change of position, have you 'No, Al
fred" she softly. ''your heart
il on this side" Eyes, my ANGEL" re-
ling with deep feeling. "'and my vest will
now he soilcd alike ON both Sides"
How he was Recognized.
From the Boston journal.