Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-12-13
FOLLY AS n FLIES

A WHISKY de.l-the imp Of the
bottle.
SONG of the syndicatss- Gobble,
gObble, gobble.
A HowLaG sweIl-The boil on q
small boys neck.
TIE son who goes to work in mill
represents the flour of the family.
THE man who is hard of hearing is
apt to be troubled with "heyl" fever.
LIKE many young man, nature be
gins her fall by painting things red.
WNKs-I didn't see you at camp
meeting this year. Minks No; I've
reformed.
A MAN discovers that gas isn't equal
to coal when he tries it on q coal dealer
to secure credit.
TEMPERANCE OratOr-What is it, my
hearers that drives men to drink?
Voice from the back seat-Sa1t mack
ereI.
A MAN who was compelled to sue an
old cOmrade to recover what he owed
him, called him his PSEUDO friend.
Sued p sued-owe? ~ an, yes, we
catch on.
@EOW I An highwayman, remarked
the commercial traveller to the ferry
man who was taking him over the river
In a skiff. "Why?" Because I am a
rowed agent.
MARIA-It's no use my trying to
please you with my cooking; you are
never satisfied. JOhn-You could suit
me exactly if you'd only try. slow ?"
"By hiring a cook"
"PA, what's the difference tween
cutter and filter the signs tell about ?"
Same thing, my son. My BARRIERS
such a beastly cutter that he's filter to
adOrn slaughter house,
CHARLIE Cwho has been blowing the
cornet for an hour: "Say, Ned, do you
think there is any music in me 2" Ned:
81 don't know. There ought to be; I
didn't hear any come out"
SHE - What a beautiful world it
would be if it were summer and day
light all the timel He-DayIght all
the time! H'ml When would lovers
have a chance to do their counting?
ToMPKNs-Heard you left the board
ing house, Jack. Jack-Yes; the land
lady was far too modest for me. Temp
kins-M Odest-hOw's that? Jack-O,
she insisted that we eat dressed beef at
every meal.
Mr.. GOODCATCH calling on the oldest
sister)-Why, Johnny, how you are
growing You'll be a man before your
sister ifyou keep on. Johnny You bet
1 will. Sister'u never be man if she
keeps on being 20 like she has for the
last five years.
Two IRISH servant-girls were quar-
reling the other day. "Shure," said
L L. L
Their comm in afther half-pasht av
the nOight !" "An' sure, retCrted the
! other, AN didn't Oh hear yer mashther
not comm home at all lasht nOight ?"
FITzBooDLE-No that you consent
to be mine, darling, let us be married
! soon. BeIinda-Oh, no, dear, let us
wait two years at least. FitzboOdIe-
/ Two years Oh, you don't mean it !
/ Belinda indeed, I do. Please
/ please, let me think you perfect as long
as possible.
BNGLEY: "Have you heard that
Pushley is giving away a box of cigars
/ with every suit Of clothes? I bought a
! suit yesterday. Try a cigar ?" Travers
/ lighting up "Thanks. I should think
| puff, Bingley, that you would be
glad puff that you only puff buy
two suits a year"
VIsIroR-The boys do be tellin' me
that Dinnis is sick abed. Is he any
better, dunno? Lady of house,
can't say just yit. Yez see he thried to
freighten me by hidin' under my bed
protendin' to be burglar, an he's lyin
up stairs wild broken leg an two doc
tors a tryin' to take four bullets out o
his body. But how was I to know him
In the dark?
TIE OLD MAN's orrNG.