Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-06-08
xARK TWAIN ON wARm

MARX TWAIN ON WARTS.
Tho Great Humorist Drops Into Personal
History.
I find the following suggestive dere-
lict wandering about the ocean of jour
nalisSn:
I'D give $1,000" said well-to-do
New-Yorker the other day, ito have
that mark removed" and he held out
a well-shaped and well-cared-f for hand,
on the back of which, between the
thumb and first finger, was tattooed q
big blue anchor. when was a little
fool at school, with my head full of
stories of adventure, my highest ambi-
ton was to go to sea. An old sailor who
lived in the village tattooed about q
dozen of us on the sly, and remember
the lies told my mother, as I kept my
hand done up in rag, pretending I
had cut it, till the sore healed. Then
she gave me such thrashing as broke
up my plan, fortunately, to have a fiSe
red and blue heart done on the back
of the other. The Disagreement has
caused me no end of annoyance since,
and has cost me considerable money
for gloves, which I always wear, winter
and summer, though I detest them in
warm weather. But man can't wear
gloves at the table, and often at rest
aurants I catch people staring at my
hand, and wonder if they think have
served my time in the fo'castle of some
oyster scow or lumber schooner"
A tattoo mark is easily removed.
May I drop into personal history :?
When was small boy I had my
share of warts. I tried in turn the
1853 way of removing them, but with
out results; indeed, I seemed to get
wartier and wartier right along. But
at last somebody revealed to me the
369th way, and I tried it. I drove a
needle down into the basement of the
wart; then held the other end of the
needle in the flame of a candle
some little time; the needle
became red hot throughout its
length, and proceeded to cook the wart.
Presently I drew the needle out; if it
had white atoms like nits sticking about
its point, that wart was done; if the
point was clear drove it in again and
cooked till got those white things.
They were the roots of the wart. TWEEN
ty-four hours later the wart would be-
come soft and flabby, and removed it
with single wipe of my hand. Where
it had been was a smooth surface now,
which quickly healed, and left no scar.
Within two days I was wartless, and
have so remained unto this day.
Well, long time afterward, when I
was 16 years old, sailor tattcoed an
anchor and rope on the back of my left
hand with India ink. The color was a
deep, dark blue, and extravagantly con-
spicuous. was proud of it for awhile,
but by the time 1 had worn it for nine
years I was tired of it and ashamed of
it. I could find nobody who could tell
me how to get rid of it; but at last my
wart experience of nearly half gen
Grafton before occurred to me, and
I got me several needles and
candle straightway. I drove the
needles along just under the
surface of the skin and tolerably close
together, and made them include the
whole tattoo mark; then fired up on
them and cooked that device thor
oughly. Next day I wiped the device
off with my hand. The place quickly
healed and left no scar. A faint, blu
ish tinge remained, and was minded
to begin again and cook that out; but
as it was hardly detachable, and not
noticeable, it did not seem worth the
fuel, and so left it there, and there it
is yet, though I suppose I am the only
member of my tribe that knows it.
was in London q good many years
ago when the Tichborne claimants case
was being tried, and batch of learned
experts testified that an India ink tat
too mark could not be removed; but
was not asked to testify, and so those
people don't know any better to this
day. Let the "well-to-d do New Yorker"
fetch me some needles and a candle,
and name his bet. I will take him up
MARK TWAIN.