Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, 1889-12-06
Pungcnt Paragraphs.


price fora pretty head.
Some one asks, "Where do flies &C
in winter" We don't know, but we
wish they would go there in sum
mer.
Aunt-"Well, Bobby, what do you
want to be when you grow up?" Bob.
by remembering private seance in
the woodshed)-"An orphan"
When a fellow sits up halfthe night
with his girl in Northern Alaska he
has three months of bliss at a
stretch. Nature is kind to lovers
near the north pole.
My son, hold, up your head and
tell me who was the strongest mani"
"Jonah." "Why so?" cause the
whale couldn't hold him after he had
got him down."
A lazy, over-fed lad, returning from
dinner to his work, was asked by the
master if he had no other motion
than that?" YES" replied the boy,
drawing out each letter, "but it is
slowerl"
Miss Travis-'Don't you think my
new dress is too sweet for anything?"
Miss De Smith-"Oh, lovely, exquis-
lite! l do believe your dress-maker
could make a bean pole look grace
fulr'
A little Burlington, Vt, girl was
recently asked to name the most i'm
portant production of Vermont.
unknown men who emigrate to
other states and become famous"
was her reply.-N. Y. Tribune.
Young Wife-"The paper says
Rider Haggard finds that he can do
liner work when he abstains from all
animal food" Husband Ca reporter)
well, believe | could write better
Il / knew there weren't any butchers
bills coming in"
lndolent husband-"How true it
Is, Mary, that the hand that rocks
The cradle is the hand that rules the
world" Weary wife-"Yes, and it's
the hand that splits the wood and
carries in the coal and draws the wa
ter"
Caller-Is Mr.. Jones in? The new
servant maid Ca jewel of honesty
from the country)-Yes, sir; but he's
not we'll. He can't see you. "Ill, is
he? | hope it's nothing serious"
Not very serious; he's drunk, sir"
Toronto Grip.
First kentuckian-Say, colonel,
there's a Mormon elder down the
road preachin' to crowd O. young
women, an singin'" "Would | Were
a BirdP" Second Kentuckian-Well.
| ken furnish the feathers. You get
some tar to stick 'em on"
A clergyman on a recent surtly
afternoon paused in his sermon, and
said: II saw an advertisement last
week for five hundred sleepers for a
railroad. ] think could supply at
least fifty, and recommend them as
tried and sound"
1t is stated that Queen Victoria
has reduced her household expenses
a year. 1t is suspected
that she has concluded to do her own
baking hereafter, instead OF buying
her bread at the ker's.-Norris.
town Herald
Dealer Ito clerk )-"What did that
young lady want, James," Clerk
she asked for anatomical brussels
carpets, and | told her we hadn't
such thing" Dealer-"Great Scott.
lanes, that young lady is from Bos-
ton! She wanted body brussels, and
we vegot an overstock of EN-
The Emperor of Germany has had
IN abscess in his ear, and a great
1eal of anxiety is caused among Eu-
'opean nations for fear he will die If
t was the Prince of Wales who had
IN earache the dudes in this country
you'll wear cotton in their ears from
'ympathy and for style,
Little Boy: Papa, why are rail
Dad trucks so safe in Winter and so |
dangerous in Summer" Papa Ga |
president); "Why do you
hink they are safe in Winter" Lit
lie Boy: ooh, they must be because
'ou never go on tours of inspection
'ept in Summer, you knowl"-Puck
Lady Thyra( reading catalogue)
1.-Two dogs, after Landseer. Lady
layca-"But where is landseer? |
ont see him. Lady Thyra-"Why,
urely, you don't suppose he would
tay there with those two ferocious-
boxing brutes after him. | know
houldn't if l were in his place"
"Oh John" said tired minister's
life one day to her oldest, who, like
Il the Others, was a boy, "why were
GU not a little girl, so that
on could help mamma?" Promptly
anne the answer: Because God
lade me a little boy for His own
lory."
The '..DrOp a Nickle" Machine.