San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-07-02

leu W ohe you WA Ut TeNHueu luz tour
patience.
There are travelling doctors in America
who go from town to town to heal the sick at
reduced prices.
Here is the advertisement of one of these
gentlemen. 1t is headed with his portrait,
and appears in the papers of the towns he
operates upon:
"Dr. r. has already remained in M
longer than he first intended, but at the re-
quest of numerous individuals and friends he
will extend his stay one week longer Pa
tients in other towns have been disappointed
by his long stay in M; but they have his
assurance that this visit will not be extended
beyond the time stated above"
This stereotyped advertisement has flavor
of the drum and cymbals of the mountebank
Walk up, ladies and gentlemen, walk up and
show your tongues and have your pulses felt
Further down, this same medical gentle
man falls into the style of the chimney sweep,
anxious to enlarge his connection: "He thanks
his many friends and patrons for the kind
ness and patronage bestowed upon him, and
trusts, by pursuance of the same honorable
business and professional methods and efforts,
to fully merit a continuance of same"
In the smoking room of the Germanic one
day an American, who sat rear me, said, adj
dressing me:
II believe you are going to America to
lecture, sir~"
YES" replied, 81 am"
"Who is booming your show, may asks"
he said in the most natural way in the world
must have stared at him like a rustic,
being utterly at loss to understand what he
meant.
Upon getting this Americanism explained
had the satisfaction of finding that my inter-
locutor's question simply meant in English:
"Who is your impresario"
"Wel," thought l, II am going to have a
lively time in the States, that's evident: this
isa foretaste that is promising" ! went to
my cabin thinking about the Yankee who
was to boom my show"
The greatest boomer" in America is the
great, the only, the unique Barnum. The
personality of this king Of showmen is not
particularly interesting, except for being
typically American, and one that could not
exist in any country but America
Mr.. Phineas 7. Barnum, pursued by fate,
is every five years the victim of confagra-
ton His fires happen with terrible regu-
arity. Whilst was in America his tigers
and elephants were burned out of house and
home. Scarcely had the flames been extin-
guished when there were paragraphs in the
papers to say that Mr.. Barnum's agent was
buying fresh animals for the biggest show
on EARTH" and all over the walls of Americas
cities were to be seen faring posters repre-
senting Phineas Barnum rising from the
flames like modern phoenix Appended
was a long literary essay which began:
Rising phoenix like from the ashes of my
fifth fire." and setting forth the wonderful
attractions Of the new show which was to be
opened.
Mr.. Barnum holds in small esteem the man
who lets slip a chance of making money
He would think it quite natural to offer
$4,000 a week to Gen. Boulanger to show
himself in his museum, and would think it
very unnatural that the general should re-
fuse such handsome offer. The rumor has
IL
Pasteur some time since to try and engage
him He guaranteed, it is said, $4,000 to
the illustrious savant if he would inoculate
before the American public twice day. 1t
was not much to ask, and the $500 would
have been easily earned Barnum, however,
had to content himself with engaging gen.
tleman in spectacles, resembling more or less
the famous professor, and he succeeded in
securing four little Americans whom NJ Pas
teur had just saved from hydrophobia. They
were inoculated with clear water probably
for month in all the principal towns of the
States. The society for the protection of
animals, which does not include man in its
circle of operations, made no objection, and
the Golfers of the enterprising Phineas over
flowed with dollars.
Mr.. Barnum does not understand how
good offer can be refused He looks upon
everything as being to sell or let, and the
almighty dollar as the master of the world.
One day he took it into his head to make an
offer for the house in which Shakespeare was
born The English fired up at the idea, and
he had to abandon his project and be satisfied
with Jumbo.
If every European nation were to become
a republic the dethroned monarchs could go
and make their fortunes in America, and the
greatest ambition of Mr. Barnum would be
realized.
Nothing astonishes. an American. That
which makes his conversations immensely
piquant is, as l have already said, the calm,