davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
Changed Their Minds.

Husband (first night after returning
from wedding tour)I'm going down to
The club tonight, love, and, as haven't
seen the boys for long time, may bel
ate, so you needn't wait for me.
Wife (who has been warned by her
mother that the crisis in the matrimo-
1ial history was sure to arrive. AS
you have never left me alone BEFORE
Scar, since our marriage, am afraid II
would feel very lonely in your absence.
30 think will go to the theater. IF
Tou are home before me you need not
wait, for can let myself in with the
latchkey.
Husband-But you cannot go to the.
theatre unattended, my love.
Wife, win not go unattended.
Cousin Jack is home from his yachting
cruiser. will call on him and ask HIM
70 be my escort. III he isn't in / shall
ind somebody else. You needn't wor-l
~ about me, dear.
Husband (who used TO be dreadfullyl
JEALOUS of cousin Jack)-Your cousin
Tack is home, thenp
Wife-Yes, and you needn't fear Il
shall be dull in his company. Jack Isl
reFy entertaining, you know.
Husband CATER bordering for awhileli
On second thoughts don't think I'll 90
10 the club, love.
Wife (demurely) Jon second thoughts
| don't think hi go to the theater, dear.
Boston Courier.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
A Renorter,s Revenge.

Notice had been taken of the Duke of
Cambridge's visit to Liverpool, but one
remarkable episode of that visit is now.
nearly forgotten. A newspaper man
Hho was then in Liverpool gave a
graphic description of it the other
night. The Duke of Cambridge, Mr..
Cardwell, and several other distinguish
I'd men were to dine with the mayor at
town hall. Their speeches were expect
ed to be of European Importance, and
great interest attached to the occasion.
Owing to the great attendance the
mayor could find room for onlyNone re-
porter. There was much protest on the
part of the press, but it was of no avail.
An expert reporter named Murphy was
selected for the work, and arrangements
we're made to supply all England with
The report which he was to dictate. But
Mr.. Murphy was treated with the ut
most discourtesy by the town hall Off
sials. He was placed apart from the
guests in an orchestra occupied by the
iddlers.
He took his revenge when he return
I'd to the Office where dozen reporters
we're awaiting him, he smiled benig-
aantly upon them and told them to go
home. go homer What do you
mean? Have you got the report?" II
have taken down every syllable, said
Ihe redoubtable Murphy, ''here are my
notes." slapping his pocketboolz, ..and
there they remain. / have been gross
" insulted, and not line of the speech
Is shall ever see print" He was as,
good as his word, and so far as England
snd the world were concerned, the
great men at the town hall might as
we'll have uttered their words of wisdom.
generalization, and warning in thun-
ierstorm from the top of Snowdon.-
Liverpool Post.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
A Piece of Truth that was Refreshing

The Rev. DR.. S. II. Vincent, who was
elected in May bishop of the Methodist
Episcopal church, is known everywhere
as one of the thoroughly good men of
his calling and time. He is also known
to be full of patriotism and loyalty A
story is told that he was once travelling
in car with Zachariah Chandler, of
Michigan. Mr.. Chandler had been re-
Gently in personal controversy with L.
q. 9. Lamar, who had asserted in
Chambers presence, what he afterward
repeated on the floor of the United
States senate, that no man in his hear
ing should call Jefferson Davis traitor
and go unrebuked. Mr.. Chambers re-
joinder had been denunciation of Davis
as an infamous traitor, the denunciation
being coupled with the sulphur and
birthstone adjectives for which he was
noted. 1t came about on the car that
Senator Chandler, telling DIR. Vincent
of the southern spirit in Washington,
related what Lamar had said.
''And what did you replyP" asked DR..
Vincent II trust that your answer gave
him to understand that there was man
in his presence then with fearlessness to
proclaim the truth"
Now, see here, Doctor" said Sena-
tor Chandler, with quiet laugh, what
ever l said was sufficient for the occa-
sion, you may be sure of that. You
know me well enough for that. But /
think you also know my weakness, and
will understand that what / said would
hardly bear repeating from pulpit"
DIR. Vincent's eyes flashed as he re-
Joined with pleasure and emotion: 81
knew it. / felt it. Don't repeat it.
Don't repeat it. But it's so refreshing
to think you said it."-New York
Tribune.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
The Woes Of a Renorter


Horace Greeley said one time after
be had swallowed something the wrong
way: ''0f all horned cattle deliver me
from the college graduate who wishes
to become a newspaper man." Once
the managing editor of a well-known
Sam Francisco paper brought young
man into the city editor, and, introduce
ing him, said that he was graduate Of
the State University and desired to be
a journalist. EYES," said the young
graduate, 81 want to start at the bottom
round of the ladder and work up" and
be smiled with the satisfaction of hay
ing already given the veteran journalist
p sample of his saw-mill resolution.
The city editor said he was glad to
know that he had no objection to
starting in on the bottom round. There
was nothing just then for him to climb
after, but If he would sit down and
read the paper for a while something
might turn up. In about fifteen
minutes something did turn up. Word
came that prominent Montgomery.
street merchant had failed. The city
editor told young varsity to go to the
merchant, appraise him of the r1lmor,
with the assurance that he did not be-
ieye it, and lay open the columns of
The paper for any explanations that he
might choose to make. The young
graduate went out with an elastic step,
and returned in about ten minutes with
a spotted shirt front and pallid face.
A gentle smoker went up from the
other reporters. The city editor look
ed up from his work and asked what
was the matter The young graduate
In a faltering voice said that he had
been ruthlessly elected, and carried
part of the swing glass with him as he
came out without his hat. The city
editor nodded a nod that may have
been to the stranger somewhat ambigu-
Ous, and went on with his work The
young graduate stood awhile near the
desk shaking with fright, and at a loss
to know what to do. He said finally,
''What shall do about tips
do about iti' replied the city eii-
tor, in a business sort of way, why
write it up"
what, write about me getting
thrown out?" asked the graduate in
amazement.
Certainly" replied the city editor,
smphatically.
The astonished young applicant for
journalistic honors slid out of the side
door and has never been heard of since.
He had mounted the bottom round and
aad fallen of.-New York Graphic.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
Strained relations

Now that we have given Lord Sack
vile West the sack and Mrs. Peabody
Wetmore has achieved fame by snub-
bling the Prince of Wales, there prom
Uses to be a boom in the business of
snubbing Britishers that may result in
strained relations. A strained relation
would be pitiful thing to contemplate
Just at this time, especially relation
so close to us as our English cousin
with whom we have been taking our
regular rations of language, literature
and things in common for several
lengthy periods, If after-dinner orators
are to be believed. Some of our Amer
lean men and women have attained
social distinction by gracefully accept
ing the polite and well-meant atten-
tons of the royal family, and even that
Pride of America, Buffalo Bill. conde-
soended to dine and ride with princess
and dukes, and lost nothing socially or
financially by this small sacrifice OF his
native wild western pride. Our Mary
Anderson also let her dignity unbend
enough to take In royal receptions and
dinners, and our Mrs. Shaw who,
though she made mouths at the Prince,
whistled 30 oivinely that she not only
completely captured little Wales, but
clearly demonstrated that whistling
woman may come to good end, what
ever may be the final fate OF o growing
hen. But how all of the distinction
acquired by these well-bred people
pales before the flaming glory OF Mrs.
Peabody Wetmore's grand snubbing
achievement Sensible American peo-
pie can only hope that other of their
country women may not be led to emu
late Mrs. p. w. in this respect, with q
view of sharing her absurd notoriety.
Social distinctions achieved by superior
talent and good breeding is vastly pref
cradle to that earned by wanton rude
ness.-Texas Siftings.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
WOULD MAKE GOOD BRICKS.
Little Tommy's Ideas Of His Father
and His Property.


Little Tomny's Ideas of His Father
and His Property.
A rich man was taking a walk in his
brickyard with his little boy one morn
ing, when the following conversation
took place:
Tommy-What sort of place is this,
pap
This, my boy, is brickyard.
"Who does il belong TOP"
at belongs to me. my son."
"Does chat big pile of bricks belong
to you, too, PAP"
Yes, Tommy, it belongs to me-"
"Do those dirty looking men belong
to you, too, pap
mo, my SON, in this glorious land of
liberty there can be no slavery. They
are free men,
why do they work SO hard?"
Il don't know, my SON."
Does anybody steal what they
makePn
''Of course not, Tommy. How do
you come TO ask such questionsp"
but, Pa, don't the bricks belong to
those men who make them?"
mo, my son, they belong to me.n
s'What are the bricks made OF, pap
"Of clay, Tommy"
"Whati Out of that dirt?n
''Yes, Tommy
"And nothing else?"
mo, Tommy"
who does the clay belong to?"
ITO me-
Ibid you make it?''
"No, my son, God made it."
did God make the clay specially for
you?"
mo, I bought it just as l buy any
thing else"
did God sell the clay to the man you
bought it from?"
Il don't know, Tommy. You ask
more silly questions than I can an
swer."
'.It's good thing you own this clay,
amt it, PAP"
why, Tommy"
because If you didn't you would
have TO work like those dirty men. Win
| have to work when get 10 be a
man?"
No; / viii leave you all my proper
BY when die"
when these men die won't they all
turn TO clay?"
Yes; We all turn to clay when we
die"
when are you going 20 die. pa
pretty soon?"
Il don't know, my son. Why do you
ask?"
II was just thinking what a nice lot
81 bricks you would make after you
are dead"
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
How the Great Southern Tortoise Bur.

Here and there, but rarely perhaps in.
one amid hundred of these mounds,
we find the place where the reptile en-
tered the ground. This opening is at
once seen to be quite separate in char
acter from the mounds which first at
tract the eye. 1t consists Of clearly
defined tunnel, the sides commonly
somewhat smooth and compacted by
the energy with which the body of the
creature has been driven through it.
The passage inclines steeply downward,
descending at an angle of from twenty
to thirty degrees, then turning at the
depth OF two or three feet TO a more
horizontal position. On the surface, a
little beyond this entrance, is heap of
debris, which consists of the sand taken
from the passage. A few feet in from
the opening, the passage appears to- be
closed by loose material which was mos
elected from the mouth of the tunnel.
Although have been unable to catch
these tortoises at work, have succeed
ed by t0lerably safe differences in
tracing their method of operation.
When they begin the burrow, they
endeavor at once to penetrate down
ward to the level in which they obtain
their food At the outset they manage,
by frequently backing out of the pass
age and thrusting the earth behind
them in their retreat, to clear consid-
cradle opening. When they have adj
yanced a few feet in the excavation,
they cease to discharge the material
excavated in their advance, but thrust
it behind them, and leave it lying in
the chamber, which it entirely closes.
With this storage room provided, the
gophers are able to advance through
the earth for the distance of some yards;
but as the earth compacted by its own
weight, by the pressure exercised
through the expansion of roots, and the
action of the rain, occupies less space
than the same material loosened in the
progress of the burrow, they soon be-
come hampered in their movements.
They then turn toward the surface and
continue the excavation upward until
they have attained very nearly to the
open air. They then use the great
strength which they possess to thrust a
quantity OF the burrowed material up
ward until it rises above the surface in
the form Of cone, and by the space in
the burrow thereby gained they are
able to go few feet further in their
tortuous line of advance, when they
must again seek 10 discharge portion
of the earth in the manner Just describ-
ed.-Popular Science Monthly.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
A Marrow Escape

This is one gracious privilege that
never neglect" said Mr.. Greening, as
he proudly approached the polls this
morning and held out bulky piece Of
paper toward the inspector.
what denomination is that, Mr..
GreeningP" asked the election officer
That's none Of your concern, sir"
retorted Elisha, angrily. II vote as l
fought--away from the maddening
crowd"
"But, surely, that isn't your ticket"
persisted the officer,
"Do I look like man who would
triile at so serious q momentg" and
Elisha's face showed sorrow and shame
and anger. Then he looked at the bal
lot, and blush overpread his face us
he slowly unrolled il.
Boys, this Is a horse on me-" he
finally said, as for the delectation of the
impatient crowd he read the following
ticket, prepared In feminine hand:
dos nursery pins.
gbs. anlse seed.
10 yda. cheese eleth.
boxes Ridges food.
/ b@ttIs oastoria.
AM@th@r dos nursery pins.
2 belts costam.
bosp fssysss 10 telephone the doctor.
ast psdses Ca hahSes' wraps.
Ellsho sshsa the right &cket out OF
his vest pocket ana lsft the polls dis
pnsted With himself and with fool men
who always laugh OF small Mistakes
Detroit Journal.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
Mul.un Ia Parvo.

How to make money-Get situation
n the mint
Here to-day and gone to-morrow-The
nan who borrows a five-dollar bill nom
,ou.
A capital drawing-The annual inter-
sst on $100, 900, u. S. bonds.
Talk Is oheap-But not the talk you
Iire lawyer TO do for you.
The lover of cabbage is usually a ci-
yar smoker.
The rich man has his mug at the
,arber's shop. The poor man take his
here.
A man with a long head never has
.welled one.
When man becomes the father of
saby he is delighted. When he be-
,omes the father OF twins he looks grave
md mutters, "Gemini!"
The man who always says what he
links is one OF the men in this world
vho could we'll DO dispensed with
Session Courier.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
The Household.

hIcE PUDDING. Half-cup soaked
rlce. one quart fresh milk, half-cup
ralslns, one tablespoonful sugar, hall
teaspoon OF salt and butter, a little
grated nutmeg; serve with sauce.
1ISGERBREAD.--One cup Of molasses,
one-half-cup OF brown sugar, one-fourth
OF a cup OF butter, one cup OF sour
mix, one egg, one teaspoonful each OF
cream tartar, soda, ground ginger and
cinnamon, -four enough TO make a
medium batter.
SUGAR Commissioner eggs, one
pound OF sugar, one-half pound Of but
Ter, one teaspoonful of soda and -four
10 make dough.
Sour BALLS. Boil five eggs until
hard; remove the shells and pound the
yolks until powdered. Add the whites
OF two uncooked eggs. with little flour
and salt. Mix into balls, boil and drop
into the soup.
POTATO GEMs.-Three or four cups
Of smashed potatoes; one cup OF milk,
IN which dissolve half n teaspoon of
butter and the same of salt; stir well
with two beaten eggs; then drop in
well-buttered gem pans, with little
flour sprinkled over the top, and put in
a hot oven till nicely Drowned.
BREAD OMELET.-To large teacup-
full of cream OF rich milk, a dessert
spoonful Of butter, salt and pepper 10
suit taste; also little nutmeg; when
the bread crumbs have absorbed all the
cream add three well beaten eggs and
fry in butter. This omelet makes a
gooI dessert, with the addition OF a
rich sauce.
TOMATO SoUP.-Tale pint Of can
ned tomatoes, or four large raw ones,
cut up fine, add one quart OF boiling
water and let them boil; then add oRs
teaspoon OF soda, when il will foam;
Immediately add one pint OF sweet
milk. pepper, salt and plenty of butter.
When this boils add eight small crack
ers rolled fine. and serve.
COFFEE CIKg,-One cup of butter,
two cups Of sugar. one cup Of strong
coffee, three eggs, half cup Of molasses.
one cup water, one cup each raisins and
currants, one teaspoon cloves, two tea
spoons cinnamon, one OF allspice, two
teaspoons baking powder, and -four to
make a stiff batter. Bake two hours.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
Afeard of a Gal.
+, darn Il all afeard Of her,

Q, darn Il all !afeard Of her,
And such mite Of q gal
Why, two Of her rolled into one
Won't ditto sister Sal.
Hcrvoice Ia sweet as the whip wills
And the sunshine's in her hair;
but I'd rather face a red skins knife
Or the grip Of tho grizzly bear,
Yet Sal says, why, she's such dear,
She's Just the one for you .
o, darn Il all l-afoard OF gal,
And me lust six feet twoi
Though she amt any size while I'm
Considerable tall,
I'm nowhere when she speaks to me,
She makes me feel 30 small.
Ny face grows red my tongue gets hitched;
The cussed thing won't go;
II rifles me cause IL makes her think
I'm most tarnation slow.
And though folks say she's swest on me
guess Il can't be true;
Oh, darn 1t all l--afeard Of q gal,
And me iust six feet two.
My sakesl just s'pose II what the folks
Is saying should be sol
Go, Cousin JaEs, and speak 20 her,
Find out Rh& let n9 know.
Tell her the gala should court the men,
For isn't this leap yeari
That's why I'm kin6sr kashful like,
Awaiting for ksF here.
And should sha hear I'm scared OF her
Youiu swear il oan'A be- true,
o, darn e all l-afsaFd OF q gal
And me Just six feet twol
Exchange
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
A Smile or Two.

He-"Doesn't it make you dizzy TO
wing in hammock"
She (frankly)-"I don't believe /
sould be any giddier than / am. BUR-
ington Free Press.
An exchange says fstznows grocer
Who is supposed TO be the honestest
nan in the world. He chases the flies
III the beam of his scales before he
flows them to Enthusiastically
News.
A young lady in this city who teaches
Sunday school class of eight-year-olds
'ecently asked them the question,
What, is an altaren 81 know said
ne irresponsible; ELSEWHERE they burn
Insects. "-Augusta Journal.
'Yes, IL b true that young Mr.. Soler
loes drink too much; but we can look
ever that, as he is such a fine, genial
whole-souled fellow
''He will need TO be half-soled before
ong, and he is badly worn out.
York Despatch.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
Tala Esmale EskLr 1t Work.

The woman with a patent butten-fast-
ener TO sell easily gets away with the
people of Seattle, w. T., according to
the Intelligancer. Walking quickly up
10 n staid old gentleman on the street
she will dexterously clip button from
his coat before he let's loose OF the idea
that she is going to hug him, and when
he expostuiates she produces her but
ton-fastener and instantly replaces the
button tight and solid. OF course he
buys box of fasteners, and the woman
seeks another victim to practice her
arts upon.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02

sio country, As they should ma .ho
.HIisr can dictate prices. ana n
wills u become more independen, a, e
any other profession. Tbair snal
M, "0u,I t De Ielt and acknowledged by The
,u iost iaVored classes; our halls OF iegis1
a aatlon would be properly represented
anu when measure was introduced ~.
inc benefit OF the farmer, il would ~
eeise mat respectful attention which Il
- ehtltled TO receive, and wolld MOI ~
mas sometimes been the case. be Iangh
60 down by the allusion Ia haysasd
nraaually the farmers are coroiar, ~
tne 'front.' and taking the places that ~
rlsht belong 10 them. Formerlv oya,,
agricultural societies were nsa.;sea
yer Dy men Of other professions than
iarIhlhg, ana the speakers platform
was also filled by those who had but liz
sle knowledge Of practical farming. hut
to-day many societies are presided over
~ practical farmers, and Ii h bacom-
ing very serious matter for n man
VINO 10 not practically acquainted wI,h
the details OF farming, 10 sttempt 10
occupy the platform 10 speak 10 farm
ersi the MAS OF the farmers. wherava,.
farmers meetings are held, are intalli-
gent enough 70 put down any man who
assumes 70 know more about farming
than he really does.
NO farmer can AFFORD 20 stand aloof
from farmers societies. II any ora
does not Join them because they are mot
what he thinks they ought 10 be. he
fails to do his duty, for il he sees de-
iects he ought 10 try 10 remedy them by
becoming good working member.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02

Japanese or ChiAoso. We do M, =
orally practice any inoffensiye rnefhoa
~ ,sas,ing the contents ofprivy vaults as
q iertillzer' Possibly our Asintic con-
.SnlPoraries are not very neat about
Ii,is loo, but after fashion they accom-
push H. With our greatest knowledge
q chemical laws we ought TO do better
IMAM they. The vault should be small.
should be always literally supplied
WIN dry earth or some other absorbent.
ana should be cleaned once a month. or
rs much oitener as can be done most
conveniently. This is matter not
only OF personal health and cleanliness.
pnt OF national political economy. The
whole country is poorer because of pop
ular Ignorance and neglect in this re-
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-02
A Sensible Russian.

The celebrated Russian painter, Yer
estchagin, who is now exhibiting his
pictures in New York, and who created
such a sensation by his alleged sacrileg-
.ous paintings, once received a decora.
Jon. The Car bestowed on him the
Cross of St. George, which is only given
to those who distinguish themselves in
war.
Verestchagin happened TO be in lit
lie town which was besieged by large
force Of Turcomen. The little Russian
garrison was in danger of being over
whelmed by the enemy. Verestchagin
seized a musket and laid out many a
picturesque Turcoman, whom he would
much rather have painted.
He distinguished himself in the sortes
made on the enemy for the reason, as
ae put it, that he didn't care to be left
behind. The Russians managed to hold
put until achievements arrived.
Some time afterward Gen. Kaufman
called on the artist and told him that
he Car had given him the Cross Of st.
George.
What do / want with st. Georges
crOSSg
That's neither here nor there. The
cross is here and you must take il.
Verestchagin refused TO take the cross,
and Gen. Kaufman, taking out his PEN
Knife, cut a slit in the breast of Vercst-
:hagin's coat and fastened the cross on
ais breast.
There, you have ruined my only
coat" said the artist.
There was no help for it; he had to
accept the decoration. He said it was
warning to him never again to give
up the brush for the musket Texas
Siftings,