New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-07-11
CHANCES HERE AND THERE.

GLANCEO HERE AND HERE.
In one OF tho morning papers appears an adver
tisement Of counsel for witnesses who saw lady
thrown from a street car on the evening OF Sunday
June 30h. This IS the sort OF thing OF which occa
sion was taken to warn the car companies in the
Tribune Of June 16th. Apparently the state OF
affairs is this either the companies have ordered
their conductors and drivers not to stop to take up
and set down passengers If they can help 1t, else
ne schedules do not allow enough tme or else the
ouers arc not enforced. Which Of the three II seems
harily necessary to wait for prominent man or
woman to be killed or MANNED in order 10 find out
And now there IS a Lew trick. stands on
the crossing waiting for the car. The driver, driv-
ing rapidly, chooses not to see him. Probably the
man jumps on, rather than lose both the car and HIS
temper. Then, and not before the alert conductor
rings his little bell rings it TO stop and go ahead. in
quick succession, the welltraIned driver taking no
notice Of either Of tho sham signals. But the record
Is made, all the same, and you and hosr this
uulc comedy pantominc on almost any line, at almost
any hour IL may be repeated, there Will be an acct
dent.n
One OF the busiest concerns in NewYork was
blocked yesterday at its busiest hour by crowd gap
ing at or trying to avoid OF those slow-moving
automata with garlands OF shoe strings
fesooned about their necks. Why do they
existl Who ever saw any one buy
nu muCH as a hlOklc euOe Stflng rom one vi lntHc
objects As a measure OF economy, many of these
street Instructors Of all sorts might be capitalized like
ne Sound or Scheldt dues If there IS no other mode
Oh having free gangway
Can you distinguish naphtha gas from common old
fashioned coal gas sniff, aud perhaps you may.
Well at all events IL IS 10 be smet almost anywhere,
at any especially where the street IS "up,7
as streets have way of being just now. We should
not be surprised II this volatile and infammabe
substance extensively used now as a cheap way of
enrching poor coal gas, were I'm the secret Of some
recent explosions Of man-holcs and the Hike.
Why are the names of streets and numbers OF
houses so often put where they cannot be seen. or
only be seen with difficulty, by those who need
them most3 correspondent writes that, one night,
after nearly breaking his neck and quite dslocatng
his temper in trying TO make out the names Of the
Paris streets by "cranIng' out OF a cab window In
the rain, he had a horrd nightmare ending (as most
Nightmares do not in vision Of loveliness. a. was
In Sybaris' he says where there was neither noise.
heat, dust bills nor chatter. And tho namC Of every
street was In great white letters a deep blue sign
that stood on every corner eight feet above the
ground. and directly in the full light Of the street
lamp Well, not many days after that l went to
Lyons on business landed from the train at IL 80
y. ms and nearly tainted at IL 80 for there, as
Wilkle Collins would say, there before my were
the very signs OF my dream Avenue de la Republque.
white letters, blue ground every corner. full light.
just higher than hats and cabs. And the best OF It
IS this is all tTueo
Now that the silly, sury sumner is yc,imen In
las the old English ballad hath ~ in dead-no, in
llve-eanest, should like some of the god-pen-
and people to tackle for us one
or more of these puzzles from real life.
l. How do you translate "Cruse ct Fills Freres"
Don't say sons brothers, please, which is neither
French nor English, but simply nonsense.
.. If we-no, II Miss A. b. wishes to ask Veuve
Boucicaut ct Compagnle TO send blank dozen of No.
gloves, light coOrs four buttons as last, to be
sent to Mrs. Z. D., who is coming home in La Gas
coicne and Will bring them in" how are the widow
and her company (mainly sons) to be addressed
One can hardly say "Messrs." or Dear SirS' even
Dear Madam" Don't dodge; we know Madame
BOucicaut is dead. Miss A. b. IS too well-bred 10
write letter an address without any beginning,
and you take refuge IN the third person there Is
stlll the difficulty of the envelope.
g. II Mr.. Pckwick wants to tell H. p True1h,
Limited, that his new wig is too loose about the
or Is apt to work forward the evening wanes,
how shall he address him Don't say Dear SIR or
Mr." because Truefitt is limited company; noun
General of the British Army for chairman. by the
way, fancy being chairman of barber!
4. Similarly, how isN the charming A. BIS happy
father to address Miss Kate Nckleby Limited. sue
ccssor Is q TO Madame Mantalln, when enclosing
first of exchange for the bonnetl
ing for me walter to leave off his Inauguration cere
monies with icewater napkins and various panOply,
aud begin to wait We had already orered-it was
something modest-yet tho function could not be com
pleted according 10 the canon without showing the
menu at us in hard-bound volume and going away
10 one of those secret lurking places known only to
walters. The GrOwler was with us. He sat opposite
and sometimes and again tOyed with deformed
opal cruct half filled with something white that de-
clined to come ont any terms "IsR't 1t queer"
exclaimed the Grower at last, as he removed the
metal top with the nineteen hermetcally sealed holes
isn't It queer. how the mean mans meanness VIII
come out, and how his salt won't May donkeys
sit on the grave of the that invented this informal
machlne-ths grudgin box the 'Oc Virginny cooks
call 'em Convenience Nonsense. Economy
Bo,h. Meanncss, tell you; sheer midsummer mean
ness Now look at It, l order chop or sweet
bread or a lobster salad with rich may0nnaSe dress
ing All right. This Signor Bistoratorl. for instance
charges me less for these things cooked and served than
I'd have 10 pay for the raw materlas-no more at all
events But salt and rice, the very cheapest things
I'm the world-you can't cents worth Of either at
one meal TO your gzZar1 and machIoil; 700
nothing but flour and water run hollow ana drled sun
when you como to these you break his heart W hy
Whyl Meanuess, sir. Specific meanncss'
Ne always go round aud pick Nv tho Grower wheh
we feel out OF SORTS