, 1889-07-18

.
Burkett, with his eye on the presidents
chair and his pocket filed with election
tickets was on hand early The clut
room had been decorated with cvergreens
and here and there were tiny fairy
lamps which sent beautiful quick OF
the dead lustre throughout the room.
Frank Bartlett and Fcnnimorc came i'll
arm and arm Just after the roll had been
called and some one remarked that il
was done so thev would be noticed. On
a table in one corner OF the room was an
inviting lunch consisting OF sandwiches
and cheese Between each slice OF
bread was a card on which was printed
Vote for II. l.. Burkett for president" "
These cards removed all doubt from the
minds of the members as TO who pro-
vided the lunch. Under the table were
bottles of cool spring water, and demi-
John Of the same on the side.
Promptly at O'Clock President Jago
requested the secretary to call the roll
and Messers Bartlett, Gerrish, Burkett,
Glover, Bell, Stevens, Mcintyre, Fenni-
more, Nibiock, C0rrigan and the ARGUS
man answered to their names.
The president arose and in a voice
which sounded like tenor singers after
"a night in Venice said: Gentleman,
we are together tonight for the purpose
of electing ins TO succeed myself. | am
not egotistical, but | will admit that
am the most suitable man for the posi-
ton of president OF the club. Let me
sell YOU watch and note well my Ie
marks concerning it; take it to another
iewelcr and get his opinion of it and tell
me il am not the man for the place.
| am firm believer in the old saying,
let the man seek the position. | am
chasing it tonight ami | want 10 catch
up to it. l am aware that Ihave rival
but he cuts no figure in the race His
sandwiches which you see on the table
will not elect him, gentleman. 1t takes
votes and ] am here to get them. Where
would Joe Kuhn be to-day if it were not
for votes? 1t is easily answered; in
the consomme. 1t is useless for me 10
take up your time. You must vote
and vote for me.
Brother Burkett sat back during the
discourse and smiled. He felt that he
had the world by the neck and that Jago
was right in saying it was useless to
take up the time OF the club. lie would
in 4 few minutes have his revenge Tor
the uncomplimentary speech the presi-
dent delivered the night of his advent
to membership. lie got up from an
ottoman and looked around among the
members. Some one remarked that he
looked like a delegate to Methodist
conference. When he had the attention
of the members he said: Gentlemen and
brothers. / have no desire to be-
come your president. | feel tonight as
though there are others among you more
worthy. But do with me as you wish.
l am in the hands of my friends; try
sandwich.
When lunch was finished the clerk
was asked to prepare the ballot, and
while it was being taken funereal ST.
lence prevailed. President Jago stepped
from the platform with becoming mod
esty and said: Gentlemen, this is the
happiest moment of my life. [ would
ask Brother Burkctt TO take my place
that he may count the vote and see
with what an overwhelming majority
he has been defeated. Burkett just
twittered and declined. Brother Stevens
stepped up and emptied the contents
of the hat containing the vote up
on the table. The vote was as follows:
Burkett, 5; Jago, 2; For fire tax, 8.
A ticket marked "Good for 121l cents
at the Reception" was thrown out as
were the fire tax tickets. 1t is believed
they were handed out by Mr.. Burkett in
mistake.
When Mr.. Stevens announced the
vote Jago charged treachery, but it was
ruled out, and in very neat speech he
welcomed the new president to the
chair and placed the ribbon on which
the medal is suspended around Mr..
Burkett's neck. The act SO gracefully
done, showed to the members
how self-sacrificing the ex-president is.
President Burkett stated that he had
not prepared a speech and he would
simply say that he had martialed his
forces in such manner that he knew
defeat was an impossibility. Having
been elected he would now claim the
l2la cent check on the Reception found
in the ballot box.
Franz Rarflaff IE-ac fbop co1loJ ,,poy,
for n story. He said: Brothers! The
idea Of calling upon me for story was
only little joke Of Mr.JagO's. He knows,
and You all know that | never make
speeches. I'm singer and sometimes
l write poetry. Now for tonight | have
written i song that's all, and if you will
kindly remain seated / will sing it. /
think it very pathetic as it describes the
feelings of Il gentleman who bought lots
in Tacoma before he heard OF Port Town
send. | found certain parts which re-
quired certain change in facial ex-
piession necessitating my removing my
mustache. Here it goes.
1 once become anamored of girl upon
the stage;
That's all! that's all!
Whose roll was not important. she was
just page;
That's all! that's ali!
1 sent her billet dOaux asking her name;
She told me at the stage door l should
remain,
Which I did nearly four hours in The
rain;
That's ALL that's all!
| tried to play poker last week and |
failed;
That's all! that's all!
For the flush that / bet oD was badly
bob-tailed;
That's all! that's ALI
But the next hand that 1 held felt sure
/ ha won,
But he scooped it in, it was prettiiy done
1 held the four aces but he beld the gun.
That's all! that's all!
1 sent to Lutte Hastings TO stop a small
leak;
That's all! that's all
The pipe believe was little bit weak !;