davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06
A Or, At Bst,le

is continually going on in the human
system. The dem On of impure blood
strives to gain victory over the constitu-
ton, to ruin health. to drag victims to
the grave. A go,d reliable medicine
like Hoods Sarsapsrilla is the weapon
with which to defend ones self, drive
the desperate enemy from the field, and
restore peace and bodily health for many
years. Try this pr culiar medicine.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06
ROCK ISLAND, WEDNESDAY. MARCH 6, 1889.
After Twenty Years.

BALTIMORE. April 20. 18s7.-For over
twenty years have been troubled with
liberated bowels and bleeding piles, and
grew very weak and thin from constant
loss of blood Ihave used four bottles of
B. B. B. and have gained Is pounds In
weight. and feel better In general health
than have for ten years. recommend
your B. B. B. as the best medicine have
ever used. and owe my improvement to
the use of Botanic Blood Balm.
EUaENIUs A. SMITH.
31S Exeter street.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06

The mortality among children the past
month has been enormous. Diphtheria
ia now the destroying angel. Let all
well meaning parents protect their help.
less little ones. and always keep on hand
q bottle of DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06

Count Herbert Bi Smarck is the only new
representative of sta atecraft who bears scar
recsived in battle. lie was shot through the
thigh in the cavalry charge at Mars la Tour,
in which he rode as private dragon.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06
SIeep!ess Nights

"For nearly n
month / was not
able 10 sleep, but
latter using PATNE's
CELERY CoMPoUND
for two days, In
s0mnia 1ed and
strength return .
ed" f. @. SMITH.
ClauSsen, :. @.
al have taken
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06

For long time was so nervous and worn
ont that could not work. tried many medi-
cines. but none gave me relief until used
Paine'S Celery Compound, which at once
strengthened and lnvigorated my nerves.
HARLEY SHRRMAN. Burlington, Vt
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06
Paine's
Celery COMPOUND

quickly quiets and strengthens the nerves, when
irritated or weakened by overwork excesses,
disease, or shock. II cures nervousness, head
ache, dyspepsia, sleeplessness melancholia, and
other disorders OF the nerYOus system.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06
AN OLD MAN RESTORED.

AN OLD NAN RESTORED.
DAWSON. Ga. June 30.-Being an old
man and suffering from general debility
and rheumatism OF the joints of the
shoulders, l found difficulty In attending
to my business. that of a lawyer. until l
bought and used five bottles of B. B. B.,
Botanic Blood Balm, of Mr.. T. G. Jones,
of j. r Irwin s. Son, and my general
health is improved. and the rheumatism
left me. believe it to be good medi-
cine. j. III. LANG.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06

By examining the eongue of patient ply
sicians find out the disease of the body, and
philosophers the disc se Of the mind. Justin
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06

Since snow made it's appearances IN
Vermont more than 500 accidents have
been reported from the; lumber districts.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06
Trainman NJ. & q. r. r

The proper garniture for dresses dec
ollete Is hlush roses. They show that a
little mOdestY still remains.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06

A horse swap was successfully accom-
plIshed ct Braidentown. Fla, by the
payment of % cents as s.dicker."
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06

The inauguration bawl-'I want an
office I've got congressman's recom-
mend
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06

They stand for Office In England and
run for It In America. Characteristic
isn't itY
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06

An apple tree near Fresno, CAL, is re-
ported to have borne one ton of fruit the
past season.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06
The Popui.,,cn :. Kocx Island.

Why Is age like an umbrellaf Becaus
neither are any protection from folly.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06

uoU0 nxEc Original aud onh, relidbts.
UJHMU0D pTko Beeays OF poaT limitations
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06
=. D. CLARKE, N. D.,
1876 So. Clark ST.. CHICAGO, IL.

SECURITY AND ADVANTAGES.
The private property Of the Trustees il reepen-
eible 10 the depositors. The officers are prohihi
ted from borrowing any Of Its moneys. Minori
and married women protected by special law.
OFFIcERs:-s. W. WEE FLOCK, President; JON
Coon, Vice President; C. f. HEMKNw AT, Cashier
TRusrEEs:-S. W. Wheelock, Porter Skinner
C. W. Lobdell, Nelson Chester. h. W. Candee, G
T. Grantl, A. s. Wright, c.. F. Hemnwsy, JshI
Good; J. NJ. Chriety, c. q. Stoddard.
rThe only chartered Savings Bank in Reei
Island County.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06
Tones up the
Shattered Nerves

=" For two years ! was a sufferer from nervous
debility, and thank GOD and the discoverer OF
pound cured me. Let any one write to me for
advice GEORGE W. BoUToN, Stamford, Conn
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-03-06

G ] .

CT.
LETTERS FROM THE GOVERNORS.
It is weil.known fact that Poap's
ExTnAcT IL used and recommended by more
distinguished people than any preparation or
remedy extant.
= 1t 10 used in the household Of the President
as we'll a. that Of the humblest citizen; by
members Of the army and the navy. tho Bar
and the Bench, the pulpit and the press-aii
ranks and classes Of people. To further
illustrate this fact We append q few Of the
more recent letters from Governors of dif-
feront States:
The Governor OF New Hampshire.
GENTLEMEN: have used PoNp's EXTRACT
In my family for several years, and have
found It most desirable and valuable
The Governor OF Pennsylvania.
GENTS: PoSD's EXTRACT has been a
valued reliance In our family for several
years, especially In relieving the aches,
sprains and bruises incident to children
Very truly yours,
Nov. 30. 81. JANIS A BEAVER.
The Govern or of New Jersey
DEAR Sir: l have for many years used
PoND's EXTRACT. and have derived great
benefit and relief thsrefrJm. Yours truly,
Dec. 5, 'S7. r. s. green
The Lr.-G0vernOr of Illinois.
GENTLEMEN: PONDS EXTRACT has long
had place in the medicine chest Of my fam
lily. | assure you that we have found IL
ready and valuable agent to relieve pain In
many cases, and that very promptly. We
cannot well keep house without 1t.
] am, truly yours,
Oct. 10, 81. j. C. SMITH,
PoNpis EXTRACT is invaluable for all
kinds OF Pain, Inflammation and Hemor-
rhages.
ErcsYence Invites Imitation Besoars Of
sc0rthless limitations Of PONDS EXTRACT.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17
Josh Billings Philosophy.

WHARF thare IL CRATE virtue, thare
must hav bin CRATE vices, or else a
very poor sile, that raizes nothing but
what haz bin planted, and well tended
and MANFRED at that.
Revenge IL jist az natral az milk.
You will see little bits ov boys Tub the
post that they bump their heads
aginst.
Whenever yu see a doktor who
alwus travels on the jump, yu kan bet
he is looking for JOB.
The bulk ov mankind are mere imi-
tators OF very poor originals
1t IL a CRATE deal eaZicr for man
tew be a philosopher after man haz
don't kuo WHARF he IL going tew git
one.
Most men lament their condishun in
life; but thare are phew, after all, who
are superior to It,
To never dispair may be God like;
but it amt human.
AfIektashun looks well in a monkey.
Trieing tew define love il like trie-
ing tew tell how VA kun tew brake
thru the ice. All VA kno about it il,
yu fell in, and got ducbed.
The prinsipal importance ov a mis-
terry is the MYSTERY itself.
What makes a ghost so respectable
karakter IL, that nobody ever saw
one.
The pedigree that we receive from
our ancestors IL like the money W. re-
ceive from them; we are not expedited
tew liv on the principal, but on the ac-
cumulashun. and transmit the princi-
pal unimpaired.
A weak man wants az mulch watch
ing az a bad one.
II IL hard work tew define human
happiness. The real possessor ov it il
the very one who kant define il.
Wealth IL no guard aginst villany.
Thare IL az mulch iniquity amung the
ritch az amung the poor, ackor1ing
tew their numbers. New York Week
1tr
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17

indeed TO keep my secret at cost OF
everything worth having on earth.
For my sake you left your old accus-
toned life, and entered this. Oh, how
could you bear itP"
She shuddered and glanced around.
81 did love you well" the man re-
piled slowly. "And rather than drag
you into infamy, as you must have
done if had been tried for your crime,
/ took the only other resource open to
me. j esc ped justice and left my
name disgraced.
al think very few people, if any,
knew about il. Eberhard And now
your uncle is dead, thers is no one to
prosecute. You might come back
safely and take your new position
now"
He stopped her with "A look.
IF help does not reach Us by to-
morrow he said, mot one Of us here
will ever sec England again"
To BE CONTINUED.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17
HER NAM e.
ANNA +. BURNHAM.

"Im losted Could you find me, pleasem
Poor little frightened baby
The wind had tossed her golden fleece,
The stone had scratched her dimpled knees,
i stopped and lifted her with ease,
And softly whispered, "May be."
"Tell me your name my little maid,
l can't find you without it,"
my name is Shlney-eyes, she said,
Eyes, but your lastln she shook her head
Cup TO my house icy never said
"A single fling about it,"
"But DEAR | said, "what is your namel''
why, didn't you hear me tell you!
Dust Shiney eyes, A bright thought came
Eyes, when you're good; but when they
You, little one--it's just the same blame
When mamma has 10 scold youi"
"My mamma neber scolds,n she means,
A little Hush ensuing.
"'Cept when I've been a frowing stones,
And then she says (the culprit owns),
'Mehetable Sapphire Jones,
What has you been a-doing"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17
Bear It Like a Man.

Writing of Pain and its Conse-
quences" in late volume of essays.
DIR. Weir Mitchell says: Il have often
watched with interest a mother beside
the girl or boy in temporary pain. AS
a rule she assumes from the beginning
that the hurt boy is to be taught silent
patient endurance. What! you, a boy,
to cry BE mani Among his com
rades he is 'cry-baby' if he whimpers,
"a regular girl, "a girl boy. He is
taught early that from him endurance
is expected. The seli-conqueat lesson.
If it be girl who suffers, she is as
sumed to be weak, and it is felt that
her tears are natural and not TO be
stcrnly repressed nor are her little
aches and complaints dismissed as
lightly as her brothers. She is train
ed to expect sympathy, and learns that
to weep is her prerOgative. The first
gush of tears after hurt OF body or
mind is in some mysterious way a re-
lief, and not rudcly TO be chidden; but
upon the whole il is wise and right
to teach patience and Unconditional en-
durance TO the sex which in life is sure
TO have the larger share of suffering.
TO be Of use this education must begin
reasonably early and we may leave to
the mother TO make sure that it is not
too severe.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17
Mrs. Hanna's Hateful Dates.

Mrs. Alexander Hanna of Apollo,
Pa, was born on the 9th of March.
She was married on the 9Th of March.
Two of her children were born on the
9th of March, and one died on that
day Of the month. A brother OF hers
died on the 9th of March. This year
on the 9th of March. the ninth ami
versary of her marriage, Mrs Hanna
started to visit n relative. As she was
crossing one railroad track to get a
train on another. she was run over by
an express and instantly killed.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17
To Retain Mental vigOr.

II you would retain the vigor of your
mental faculties. keep them employed,
not in OLD ruts but in new routes oi
reading, experiment and thought. The
brain requires exercise to keep it,
strength. as much as the arm does. il
will not do TO swing the arm continual
ly in one direction; SO the mind has
memory, perception, reason, imagina-
ton, choice emotion each in its own
sphere Of activity employing its special
department Of the brain. BY practic-
ing all these faculties the brain keeps
It's vigor
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17
Plenty of Balm in Gilead.

A certain politician hOIdidg Office
now in Washington halls from Gilead,
Branch county, Michigan, and he is
proud of his native town. 1t is told
of him that on one occasion n visiting
clergyman preached in the village
church, and during the course of his
remark he exclaimed:
lis there no balm in Gilead?"
Mr.. Blank jumped to his feet at
once.
"Of course there Is he sung ont Ia
the horror OF the congregation, "but
you can't get it on Sunday.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17

Together they were looking over the
paper, go my. how funny!" said she.
What is it?" he asked "Why, here s
an advertisement that says, NO reas-
enable offer refused. whats so
odd about that?" Nothing, nothing. -
she replied, trying to blush, "only
those are my sentiments. n-Manufac
turers' Gazette.
The leading real estate men of Min,
neapolis are trying to induce the Min
nesota legislature to adopt the Torrens
system of transferring land by regis
tration. The system is in use in Aus
tralia and Manitoba. and immensely
simplifies land transfers.
News from London says that the
proper dog now il the greyhound.
Sixty guineas is said to now be a COM
mon price for dogs with any claims TO
more.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17
Willie's Judicial Mind.

Mother (severely)-Robert, you did
very wrong to do what told you not
to do. As punishment for your dis
obedience, | forbid you to play with
Willie again this afternoon.
Bobby and Willie twist nervously
about their respective chairs for half
an hour, when Willie observes:
MA, do you think it's fair to punish
both of us for what Bobby done?n-
Binghampton Republican.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17
OnnlnOuS.

1t was Bilkins wedding day and he
was teasing his kid brother-in-law.
well, Johnnie" he said, solemnly.
"'I'n going to take your sister away
off and have her all to myself, where
you won't see her any more.
"No! Really, are you?o said the kid
curiously.
Yes, | am. What do you think OF
it?"
"Nothin', guess / can stand it il
you can.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17
Securely Married.

Speaking of the bonds of matrimony.
the bonds that link together young
Aubery and his wife are certainly
strong enough, aren't they?'
"Why SOP
"Their marriage has received the
concurrence of the highest legal
authority of the countryside chief
justice of the United States. Chicago
Herald.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17
They Knew Their Business.

Tonsorial Artist-''You want to try
some of mine patent hair tonic; your
hair vas thin on top already"
Customer-"Why don't you try il
yourself? You're balder than | am. "
Tonsorial Artist-"Ya; but rebre-
sent pefore using Look at dot
barber, Ply de next chair; he rebresent
after using two bottles. We know our
peezness. ain't it9"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-05-17
Ready Made

Old Mis'ress-"Kate, what was tina,
noise last night at the front doorP"
Young Maid-"Ihe cats, num-"
Mistress-"Cats! Now, when | was
young, cats did not wear stove-pipe
hats and smoke cigars.
Maid (unabashed)-'.Yes, mum,
times have changed"
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-10-15
THE LOCAL MARKET.

These Quotations Are Revised and Cor
rected Every Day.
sugar-Granulated, per 100. &c, light brown,
$500: pulverizsd II q A. New York. $3.50; loaf,
CoGesGarks strong; green R,S, ls@ssc:
Mocha, 3s@bsOc: roasted Rio and Costa Rtca, 290
27c: roasted Carbaio, 32c; roasted Mocha and
Tssss%5apan ascssoc: English breakfast. Acc0
si.0O; Gunpowder, ACCESSION; extra Young Hy-
FicKiss-Per kes. Is, si.2s; IS. saa: s. $3.50;
1Oa, @. 50.
Timothy seed-Per cwt,
2c.
Cabbage-Per cwt, q.
EgEs. per case, SSaS@s.oo
eeSS ssss, per per E Z. sSsssSc:
siyoo; ditto sliced, o. boxes. i4c per n; peaches,
2Sc; blackberries, ihc: raspberries, 30.
California fruits, S5.OO06.I 70 per case.
3D standard tomatoes, 23.5O,
2-D standard corn. $500.
Pm string and Lima beans, s2.75.
Dried Beans.Navy, 500 per 100 u; Lima
Corn. cracked, per 100 X, si.ss.
Bran, per 100 n, Si.hO; bran and shorts per 100
. .fioas.rer 100 n, rinshury's best. -; Ogden
Corn meal, per iO n, s2.5O.
DAT meal. per 100 n. $4.S.
fresh Meats-Pork i5c: beef s0aoc: lamb
Salt Meats-Ham fOQ.Oc: bacon 1Ss, cornet
beef iOc pork he; sausage l2ieM15c-
Coai..Psr ton. hard $40. soft $3.50.
WOOd-Perc cord $4.0.
| Hay-Pe ton S25.OO.
| Straw-Per ton Si2.OO.
Oats-Per cwt. $500.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-10-15

Edith Thomas dresses simply, with
faultless daintiness; and Louise Imogen
Guiney's gowns are as exquisitely hne as
Mise Murfree dresses very simply and is
fond OF Ouaker-gray gowns, but mas a
MISSION for beautiful lace, ana il extreme
~ difficult to satisfy on questions OF the
Grace King wears the daintiest of silk
stockings and black satin slippers. made
for her by n French shoemaker in New
Orleans, and she likes to wear long
trained, perfectly plain black gowns that
ut like q glove. -
Margaret SanRstcr. who edits Hds7sss,,s
Bosnr, usually dresses I'm black, with a bit
of fine white lace at her throat or wrists,
and her snow-white hair ia smooth folds
above her head. She gives Always an ex-
pression of extreme daintiness and care.
Miss French, known - the literary
world as Octave Thanst> wears the neat
est and trinsnAest Of gowns. and. as An adj
mirer expressed il, Nlway looks as II she
had Just thai min8te come out OF the tissue
paper and ribbons Of n French importer
hox."
Mary Mapcs Dodge, editor of ~. Nicho
Sus.dresses extremely well in plain, tailor
made clothes i'm the daytime and generally
black or white silk or lace i'm the
of iace she is extremely fond. and doe
not bcxrsldge money spent on II.
Juiia Ward Howe, who wrote the "Bat
slc Hymn of the R~epublic." ana began
and mastered the study of Greek after SIN
tie hands, that are kept with q
care, and her dress il always the work q
she best dress-makers and a model q
elderly daintiness and charrn.-NeT fo@'
World.
Anna Bowman Dosla. author of 'Caths
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-10-15
BABES AND ~sUcKLINOs.

800. ,.~ .~~ N 1
.. RI. Rev M. pevrcut: .Do
-. mo That vorries your mother. my |
$osng friend" Hts mcshcr's boy: "No;
Hcra.rs. Yowno Peopse: Little Bessie:
= . peEple!isy, nt yesterday" Master
An yo., mean a parallel stroke"
Hn,.v Press: He was watching his
eaen5os .;r Nh anx;cty on his corntenance.
40 . neroij the iad viii fall Y" was
.:fsdY him. NO." he replied. II afraid
ne on r..p.x pu,-,-.. ..y,m clad
APocm, rn ,c see vos, shov, rs,nen-
tnance LOT na Nx;.."cc .ro,,ble Won very
rr,,ch x TittIe Johnnie: ssNaw; hut ms
stomach does" -,
'she doctor say that 20" Tsss 1,a@'e e; 60 ais
"Yes: dear" small ,n boy; n We'll y; n Try
keep BLY, UNIV"
Bar,;nrtou Ha.cs-Eyr: Robbie Tufrborn
,to the Rev; Sandispat VINO rs H,m,nS
, nth The fnmi iS.i tSes,. wnsn,ss mothin' in
This world PsrfectI Inc neS. ~ ..Oh
DeIieve l u,uS WY w b.nuh TIN, x,o,, ve,s.
nf nsrfc m.t b osc's
Bdbyho"t: The pastors mu',e err, %
years old, had been running up anu I3wn
iSs su r@G% do DOWN s Papa hooked up from
his hook, expecting her accustomed yell,
when. to his surprise she rspea Ave g rn
text of the previous abbat "Goa ~ the
judge he putteth down one ana se''e'h" up
"n Ss,ra;, Ere. Press: A tiny baby made
it's appearance on Cass avenue the Other
:iry: after y was = time 4 Her xs sls'' inv IssSi in !" see i.
dsns s iSSsss rs e. : no. very f":ssaSis I'M:
silence the eldest of the two said: "If I'd
known pappa hadn't pennies nun 20 GeS q
shafts in my bank, .Yes, and get q fine
one, and not a yed, yed brudder sa'n All
other voice.
very proud. He looked at his discarded
skirt and exclaimed: 1--we got two iegs
now, just like papa" Then h., went i'm to
Trousers ssS a,s % a%S i new Do Soess: He was speech.
less with delight, and i'm the height OF his
s make ne m Ssf fsel s >" grand. psan's i make
YOU feel grand when" But an awfnl
conscio,sness came over nm I'm h; sn a"o,hn,
sEains. her cheek, saying, alphabetically
rsss :"" hissie Jimmy Bolts bropeh. hom.
a. peeled nose and a garter snake from a
man nut up the lid that evening to perpe
trate 1.-TWO Pretty Black Eyes he thought
chasing a stage coach i'm ahead of time
J;nnm,v failed In prove an alibi and hi,
father said no would reason with him In
the wootlshed after supper. When TIN
smniy entered i'm his stocking feet ant
cmrrvi,,0 "A pillow. upon which he care
fmiiy sat down, sWhat new monke.
sh;He h. this p, 0rowled old Bolts. 49,
-s"h. pana.- whispered Jimmyr 81 wa
playinR with Tommy McGlu
this afternoon, and I swallowed q toI
nssio'w ..Did. eh 2" ssYcsr and IL any
sh;no should touch me kinder sudden
,ni0kt 90 of and b. tored all to pieces
And the snake Indemnity bill was laid o
the table.
L~-.:a p.u.,.. Norx,;ch schoo
rc,r,cm az 800, ..tr,,st,, In n s,s.lIin
.Hn N. ,t1,e. JavI trust used to he
.srIa s,orS ,.,ean;,o confidence-n wor
.ip..." !" -.,;In arI S;tI,in the, 0rasp {
the ans pupil. - eme n.;nfuiI
apparent the moment the denLltlon W
called for. "Denne trust ominaiu ns :.
teacher. The httie feiiow oI tne ss,u !
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-10-15
Very Foolish.

From Time.
dat war berry sad bout my son, Mr..
Unison he stole some cucumbers t'other
night"
"Am dat SO? How foolish! He'll get
ketched some oh desc times, sah."
.Oh. dat war'n't de foolish part, sab dc
fool niggah, eat EN-"
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-10-15

dame was ever more sfrOss-frou" I'm ner
soss to the French cspisai and renew. her
wardrobe, and she Axe a. much delight
I'm hieh-hecled slipper. and Worth Gowns
As II .he did mot know one end ct . PEN
handlef from the other.
Feather. for che ChseG
Mr.. Daniel. the man of parrots In the
Kimball house, made q queer deal yester~
day. says the Atlanta Constitution. He
had lately received q very fne macaw OF
greatly admired. But when one of the
high muck-a-mucks Of the Cosnanches was
saunterinR along the street and espied
him. ne became wild.
"How much feather ?' he sked.
"No wantee sellee fctider,'' replied The
dealer in his blandest Chinese, not being
able to talk Comanche.
allow much red feather: repeated the
Comanche.
piled Mr., Daniel, feeling very much en-
barrassed.
.9uartcr for red feather"
Fifty cents"
Mr.; Daniel shook his head.
"Give you 81"
That was irresistible, and the dealer
"ouartcr for blue feather" said the
.'Can't getee' longee' thoutee blue fed.
der" said the dealer impatiently.
"Must have it. Half "a dollar"
NO.
"Dollar."
.'It's a CO." said Mr.. Daniel, recovering
his English, and, taking the macaw inside
he carefully clipped OIL the two feathers
and handed them to the delighted Indian
who threw down his - and uttered "a sup
pressed war-whoop rs he strobe oil up the
street.
The macaw was 80 mad when he lookes
around at his tail that he muttered severa
Brazilian cuss words, refused To speak 4
his master, and went tn bed without hi
supper.
The Logical End of the Craxe.
From Time.
ST. Peter las a shower of angles re
mains flies over the WALL: Bless me
Who are you, and where did You com
from?
A voice from the heap: 'I'm Jones
from New York. Just note the exact time
old man! We were On the City Of Dish
kosh, and when the passengers on TIN
other racer begin to drop I'm, we want 80
to witness that our boat blew up first!
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-10-15
why He Was Late.

From Time.
Merchant: You couldn't get here any
earlier, ell? Breakfast at stake, I suppose
Clerk: No, sir; il was the steak at
breakfast.