Morning journal and courier., 1889-08-05
MAN Y.

The King of the Cannibal Islands used to
have many domestic broils when he cooked
his servants.-Hotel Mail.
Jokes about the iceman do not 90 in
Greenland; the ioe there is 5000 feet thick
delivered at the door free-New York
herald.
1t is great deal easier to write vivid
love letter of sixteen pages than 1t Is to hear
! 1t read two years afterward in court.-Somer-
vile Journal.
A Minneapolis man claims to have inyent~
ed motor which will do all kinds of kitoh-
en- work. II is understood to have no cousins
Boston Transcript.
A boy may have stone bruise SO severe
as to prevent his attending school, yet he
can run bases like pony expenditures
town, N. z, Journal.
Mr.. Suburb-"Uncle Rastus, wish you'd
house." Unole Rastus with grin)-"What,
in broad day light, sah."-Life.
81 heard you were fishing Yesterday" )"
said one travelling man to another. "Yea"
"Have any luck" "Yes, some; didn't get
drowned. Merchant Traveller.
A chiropodist will henceforth be attached
! to every German regiment. Heretofore it
| has not besn considered necessary to employ
a corn doctor to put the German soldier on a
| war footing. s.-Norlistown Herald.
"Ay dear" said dying husband, edo you
| think You will marry again when Pm gomez
II don't know, John," replied the lady
| with burst of tears. ~ haven't given the
matter very much thought as yet."-Texas
Siftings.
Servant answering belD-"My master isn't
| in, sir; you may leave the bill if you wish. u
| Caller Gn surprise)-"Bill. have no bill; ]
wish to" Servant Tin surprise also)-''No
billa Then you must have called at the wrong
house."-Yankee Blade.
First Omaha bells-"And you were at the
| seaside for month I know you must have
| enjoyed the swells of the surf" Second
Omaha belle-"Yes, enjoyed some of them
| very much-one of them sin particular.
How do you like my new ring?"-Omaha
| World.
| 81 am getting awfully tired of hearing
| about the virtues of the late Mrs Brookson, u
| said the second Mrs. Brookson. "It looks to
| me as If your second wife ought to be as dear
! as your first, Mr.. Brookson." "You would
| be if you were only in the same place." was
| the heartless brutes answer.-Terre Haute
| Express.
"Young man." said long haired passen-
gss to the occupant of the seat ahead, 'sdo
you know that I've never spent dollar for
for liquor In nay lifs9' "Reallys" responded
l tuo youuB uhu turning uhlI way TCuAu Will
| a look of great interest on his face, chow do
you work it.'-Life.
"Hear the news from down helowi" "No'
| Whata' ga lady down there near Santa
Cruz, unaided and alone. held up an entire
| train. -. Heavens! What nerve! Who was
| she9" "a San Francisco belle. She wanted
| to CROSS the dusty road, and held it up to
keep 1t clean.-Ssn Francisco News Dealer.
| Jinks-"Mr Oldwhisky's wagon has just
| stopped before Winks' door and the driver is
carrying in two demijohns of whisky, one of
brandy and two cases of beer and wine. Must
be going to have lot of company" Blinks
1-"Company Not much. He's just going
| up into the country for his annual rest
| Philadelphia Enquirer.
"Talking about fees reminds me of bill
that Jacob Hall McAllister's clerk, once took
| to CLIENT" said Attorney Young 81 was
In Halls Office in those days, and was at my
| desk when Jacob came In with cheek, say
| ing, Mr.. paid his bill and said he
thought the charge very reasonable.
| Thought it reasonable, ehl' snapped Hall.
| who made out that bills' I did, replied
Jacobs. Don't let 1t occur agsian,' was
Halls remark, as he pocketed the check and
went into his private room."-San Francisco
| Examiner.