Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-01-25


DEAR F'DOLA: I haven't written to
you before, because I wanted to wait
until we we're settled down, and then I
thought I'd wait till after ThRnksgiE-
ing, so 1 could tell you something of
our prospects. AS I told you before I
moved. / determined to have a grand
opening on Thanksgiving; but, oh,
FldOIa, my heart aches to have to tell
you how it all turned out.
You know 1 told you it would be a
splendid chance to show folks what
style we could put on when we had a
mind to, and so three days before
Thanksgiving I sent Sophia Jane out
to invite the bigbugs of the town, and
1 am sure she must have invited them
right, for she had a slip of paper, on
which had written the exact words of
the invitation to look at. 1t read as
follows:
Mrs. --: Your presence is sOphistieaJILI in
Vited to be a. the residence of Mr.. and Mrs.
Iryphena Higgins on Thanksgiving. at such
time as you may ses lit in your cOJldescsHst0l
used two big words, you see, which
1 found in the back part Of the spelling
book, among the long, hard words, be-
cause L wanted the invitation to sound
high-tOned, and as though we were ed
icated, for I knew they wouldn't know
the meaning OF them any better than
did.
Well. FidoIa, Sophia Jane and [
worked like horses to get everything
slicked up and things baked. I bought
the largest rooster I could find, for
I determined to have enough, if it took
all we possessed on this earth.
The guests came stringing along
from ten o'clock till three, although
they might have known I would not
expect them till afternoon; and o, FL
dOla, only, only five came, and I had
invited a plump dozenl When they
began coming I was head and ears in
the work of cleaning that hateful old
rooster, which I had nearly finished,
but instead of sending Sophia Jane in
to entertain the company, I went into
the parlOr myself and left her to fin
ish the fowl, and I'Il regret it to my
dying day; but of that hereafter.
Well, Sophia Jane had the rooster on
to roast when L came back, and so at
three o'clock we had supper, for 1 was
determined to have it early, so that if
any Of the neighbOrs were intending to
slip IN just in time to see what we had
to eat and get asked to supper, they
would miss their calculations. We all
y
the blessing I told George Washington
to carve the turkey, for it was such q
large rooster that Sophia Jane and I
made up our minds we could pass it
for turkey Just as well as not; and
there Is where we sinned like Sophia
in the bible, for I had intended to carve
it before bringing it on the table, but
it looked so nice and was done so brown
that I yielded to Sophia Jane and
brought it on whole.
I forgot to tell you that one of our
guests was a young lady, and as
George began to carve that hateful
old rooster, I saw her looking at him
with sheepish eyes, and I thanked
the Lord for Thanksgiving, for I knew
she was love struck. I began thinking
of a wedding, and Of being a grand
mother, when I looked at George, and
o, horrors my heart turned sick at
the sight, for that needless Sophia
Jane had left the craw in that rooster
and George had cut right into the
middle of It'll And O! the smell was
such that I began to mOrtify in my
very victuals. Well, I didn't look
around, for I hadn't the heart, nor I
didn't want to, but Sophia Jane said
some Of the guests went out doors and
liked to have speWed their insides out:
and poor George Che always was so
bashful, you know just gave one look
at that black-eyed lady and then upset
the gravy all over the table, after
which he stumbled out of the room.
Poor Phyletus just sat still and said
words which I wouldn't write on paper
for the price of "this world of vanity
and vexatiOn of spirits, as the preach
er says. When I finally took courage
to look around 1 was all alone, for the
company had gone, and neither of my
children nor the old man were to be
found.
I finally found Sophia on the back
stoOp nearly frozen, and [ do believe
had been In the saloon, al
though he denied it, for his breath
smelt awfully, and I am certain it
wasn't the turkey that made it smell,
neither.
George didn't come home till ten
o'clock and don't know yet where he
was. None of US had the brass to eat
that rooster, and so I yanked out the
craw and took the bird over to one of
our poor neighbOrs and gave it to them
with my compliments. George heard
since that they said they didn't thank
me for such compliments, but I can
wait for my reward In time to come,
for if ever I gave anything without
grudging 1 did that.
I haven't been out of the house since,
not even to meeting, but I viii try to
go next Sunday if I get my new dress
finished, for if I do the folks viii all be
so taken up with looking at it that they
Will forget the tuIkey-rOOster scrape.
George and Sophia Jane still go in
single harness. I've heard that the
men say Sophia is too feshy, and the
girls say George Is too spare, and so
Pm IN a spondary, q think that's the
right word, but I viii have them mar
ried by spring, or I'll burst with try
inc