The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1889-11-28
CAMPAIGN LIES.
Mark 1wain's Experience as an Able and
Patriotic Candidate.

Patriotic Candidate.
The following by Mark Twail
about hits the nail square on tn
head and though old will be read witt
interest now that the city is in tn
throes of a heated political contest:
A few months ago l was nominate,
for governor of the great state of New
York, to run against Mr.. John 7
Smith and Mr.. Blank j. Blank, Oh
the independent ticket. / somehow
felt that | had one prominent advan
tage over these gentlemen, and tina
was-good character. 1t was easy tt
see by the newspapers that they
had become familiar with all man
ner of shameful crimes. But at the
very moment when / was exalting my
advantages and joying in it in Sc
cret, there was muddy undercur-
rent of discomfort "riling" the deeps
of my happiness, and that was-the
having my name handled about in ia.
miliar connection with such people
l grew more and more disturbed. Fl
nally, wrote my grandmother about
it. Her answer came quick and
sharp. She said:
You have never done one single
thing in all your life to be ashamed OF
not one. Look at the newspapers
look at. them and comprehend what
sort of characters Smith and Mum
are and then see if you are willing to
lower yourself to their level and enter
a public canvass with them"
But could not recede. l was fully
committed and must go on with the
fight. AS was looking listlessly over
the papers at breakfast / came across
this paragraph, and may truly say
that / never was SO COMPOUNDED before
PERJURY-Perhaps, that now Mr..
Mark Twain is before the people as a
candidate for governor, he will con-
descend to explain how he came to
be convicted of perjury by thirty-four
witnesses in Wakawak, Cochin China,
in 1868, the intent of which perjury
being to rob poor native widow and
her helpless family of a meager plant
ain patch, their only stay and sup
port in their bereavement and desola-
ton. Mr.. Twain owes it to himself as
well as to the great people whose
suffrages he asks, to clear this matter
up. Will he do it.
thought Il should burst with
amazement. Such a cruel, heartless
charge. / never had seen Cochin China.
l never had heard of Wahawak. /
didn't know a plantain patch from a
kangaroo. was crazed and helpless.
l let the day slip away without doing
anything at all. The next morning
the same paper had this-nothing
more:
SIGNIFICANT-Mr. Twain, it will be
observed, is suggestively silent about
the Cochin China perjury.
Mem.-During the rest of the cam
paign this paper never referred to me
in any other way than "the infamous
perjurer Twain
WANTED TO KNow.-Will the new
candidate for governor deign to ex-
plain to certain of his fellow-citizens
the little circumstance of his cabin
mates in Montana losing small valua-
bles from time to time, until at last,
these things having been invariably
found on Mr.. Twain's person, or in his
trunk" newspaper he rolled his traps
in,) they felt compelled to give him a
friendly admonition for his own good,
and so tarred and feathered him and
rode him on a rail out of camp. Will
he do that?
Could anything be more deliberately
malicious than this? For 1 was never
in Montana in my life.
After this, this journal contemptu-
ously spoke of me as "Twain, the Mon
tana Thief
l got to picking up papers appre-
hensively-much as one who would
lift desired blanket which he had
some idea might have a rattlesnake
under it. One day this met my eye:
THE LIE NAILED.-By the sworn aft
dayit of Michael O'Fanagan, Esq, and
Mr.. Snub Rafferty, and Mr.. Catty Null
ligan, it is established that Mr.. Mark
Twain's vile statement that the la
mented grandfather of our noble
standard bearer, Blank j. Blank, was
hanged for highway robbery, is a
brutal and gratuitous lie, without a
shadow of foundation in fact.
And yet 1 can lay my hand on the
book and say | never slandered Mr..
Blanks grandfather, More, l had
never heard of him or mentioned him
up to date.
will state, in passing, that the
journal above quoted from always re-
ferred to me as "Twain, the body
The next newspaper article that at
tracted my attention was the follow
ing
A SWEET CANDIDATE Twain,
who was to have made such blight
ing speech at the mass meeting last
night, didn't come to time. A tele-
gram from his physician stated that
he had been knocked down by run
away team and his leg broken in two
places-sufferer lying in great agony,
and so forth and so forth, and lot