The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-02-22
LEANDER HoBART's ENCYCLOPEDIA.

Havin' lived next door to the Hobart
place FIR goin' on thirty years, I calc'l,te
that l know jest about ez much about the
case as anybody else now on airth, except
in perhaps it's oil ledge Baker, and he's
so plaguey old md SO powerful feeble that
he don't know nothin'.
1t seems that in the spring Nv '47-the
year that Cy Watson's Oldest boy wuz
drownded in West River-there come
along a book agent sellin' yolyumes nd
tracks fr the diffusion NV knowledge, nd,
havin' got the recommend of the minister
md NV the select men, lie done an ALFRED
big bushes. i'll u part NV the county.
His name was Lemuel Higgins, nd he
WIZ ez likely a talker ez | ever heerd, bar
rim Lawyer Conkey, nd everybody allow
ed that when Conkey wuz round be talked
so fast that the town pump nd have to be
creased every twenty minutes.
One of the first NV our folks that this
Lemeul Higgins struck wuz Leander Ho-
bart. Leander had jest marr'd one Nv the
Peasley girls, md had moved into the old
homestead on the Plainville road-old
Deacon Hobart havin' give up the place to
him, the other boys hayin' moved out west
(like a lot o. darned fools tina they wnzD.
Leander wux feelin' his oats jest about
this time nd nuthin' wuz too good frhim.
Hattie seq he, 81 guess I'll rave to
lay in a few books FIR readin' in the win
ter time, nd I've half a notion to sub
scribe fr a ~cyclopeedy. Mr.. Higgins here
says they're invalerable in a family and
that we orter nave 'em, bein' as how we're
likely to have the family bime by"
sLor's sakes, Leander, how you TALK
SEE Hattie, blushin' all over, ez brides al
lers does to heern tell Nv SIGH things.
WAL, to make a long story short, Lean
der bargained with Mr.. Higgins for a set
NV them cyclopeedies nd he signed his
name to 4 long printed paper that showed
how lie agreed to take a cyclopeedy oncet
in so often, which WIZ to be ez often ez a
new one NV the voiyumes wuz printed. A
~cyclopeedy isn't printed all at oncet, be-
cause that would make it cost too much;
Consistently the man that gets it up has it
strung along fur apart, so as to hit folks
oncet every year or twoand gin'rally about
harvest time. So Leander kind NV liked
the idee and he signed the printed paper
md make his affidavit to it afore Jedge
Warner.
The fust volyuiue ofthe cyclopeedy stood
on a shelf in the old seckertary in the set
tin'-room about four months before they
had any use fr it. One night Squire
Turner's son come over to visit Leander
md Hattie, and they got to talkin' about
apples, md the sort NV apples that wuz the
best. Leander allowed that the Rhode
Island greenin' wuz the best, but Hattie
and the Turner boy stuck up fr the Rox-
bury russell, until at last a happy idee
struck Leander and SEE he: We'll leave
it to the c~yclopeedy, b gosh! Whichever
one the %cyclopeedy seq is the best will set
tie it,"
''But you can't find out nothin' bout
lApA July liiSSCtS i4gi itiOuC Ioiihd SiCtH-
ms in our cyclopeedy," sez Hattie.
.sWhy not, I'd like to know?p SEE Lean
der, kind NV indignant like.
"Cause ours hain't got down to the r
yet, SEE Hattie. "All ours tells about is
things beginnin' with A."
sWell, amt we talkin' about Apples?"
SEE Leander. .'You aggervate me terrible,
Hattie, by insistin' on KNOWN what You
don't know nothin' bout"
Leander went to the seckretary nd took
down the ~eyclopeedy nd hunted all
through it f'r Apples, but all he could find
wuz "Apple-See Pomology."
GLOW in thunder kin | see Pomology,"
SEE Leander, ''wben there amt no Pomolo-
gy to see? Col durn a c~yclopeedy, any
howl
And he put the volyume back onto the
shelf nd never sot eyes into it agin.
That's the way the thing run FIR years
nd years. Leander would 'ev gin up the
plaguey bargain, but he couldn't; he had
signed a printed paper nd had swore to it
afore the Justice of the peace Higgins
would have had the law on him if he had
thrown up the trade.
The most aggervatin' feature nv it all
wuz that a new one nv them cussid cyclic
pecdies wuz allus sure to show up at the
wrong time-when Leander WIZ hard up
or had Jest ben afflicted some way or other.
His barn burnt down two nights afore the
volyume containin' the letter b arrived
and Leander needed all his chink to pay
fr lumber, but Higgins sot back on that
affidavit and dcied the life out NV him.
"Never mind, Leander," seq his wife,
soothin' like, cts a good book to AVE in
the house, anyhow, now that we've got a
baby"
chats SC" seq Leander, ''babies does
begin with b, don't it,"
You see their fust baby had been born;
they named him Peasley-Peasley Hobart
after Hattie's folks. So, seein' as how
it wuz payin' FIR a book that told about
babies, Leander didn't b~egredge that five
dollars so very much after al.
"Leander," SEE Hattie one forenoon,
'that d ~cyclopeedy amt no account.
There amt nothin' in it about babies ex-
cept See Maternity"
ssyyaaI III no oasl, dnrnedis seq Lean