Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1889-12-08
APRIL FOOL REDlTIVUS.
fRefAraviAl

gratifyiue 10 ones vanity in beng any
Ning which can DO designated by long
Greek word and that, owing 10 the strange
contrariety OF the opposite sex, dire@tiy q
man obtains The reputation. OF hating wo-
men he of on &C acquires q dignity ana an
interest in their eyes which he would not
otherwi.e possess, and which there may be
nothinr either fn his personal appearance
or mental qualifications to justify,
But mus. now proceed 20 describe now
I Glanced TO become the manner OF man
WAS. and TO explain that my misogyny was
the result Of CIR cumstanccs and not Of ma
tural Temperance mt. -,
Imnrimis- them. during that hyphcn-like
oeyiod of life who h ukshObbiedehoyhood
10 manhood / had several affairs which
must call love Affairs for want OF better
word, though "a q matter OF taCt CuPIu
could have proved Ia innocence by an Gt'os
In every one OF them. and they all crzde q so
unpleaSantly and unSatisiactoriiy thaV
after a while began to think Milton was
night. and that woman as IA INSTITUTION
WAS a mistake altogether, Secondly was
somewhat short-sighted ana not very
well favored: and. thirdly. so many OF my
relatives insisted on dying ana leaving Lac
ierce heoncsts that at last I became per-
son OF note. an eligible, pri2e IN the mat
riuaonial market, and that mnch cnYled. II
not enyiable, individual. mtn whom all
women lovei Pace, reader ! only mean
as sportsmon love the birds OF the ar ana
the fishes of thesea which they pursue with
somuch ardor Imorcly want to convey that
i felt NJ yaelt 20 be the prey. the matt RAJ quar-
~ Ofthe fair. and the CONSEQUENCES ~ oelhg
so not ONLY ombitterod my young lte and
rendered me painfully and OvcrwhcltningY
shy, hut AZ the same time nlled my mlhd
with such morbid dread lest SOME I'M
scrupulOus "spin" or designing WIDOW
should run me in aud marry me whether i
would or no. that, from having begun oy
stunning female society whenever 1t was
possible 10 10 so, ended by abjuring II
entirely. and thenceforth seeking all my
amusements in books and travel ana otner
things which could be partaken OF safely
and without any neceSSarNcOOperauon on
the part of the wilv sex.
Now. this was all very well so far rs 1T
went. and from one point OF view. But
though the system pursued procured me
an immunity from danger IN some re-
spects, Il reacted on me most disastrouSiY
in Others. For whenever 10y any chance
found myself under Ere Of bright eyes and
Obliged 10 talk 20 q woman my forutude
ebbed AZ once, my voice clung TO my jaw,
I beceme as retiring and self-dlstrustlul as
n sbel-lcss crab, and was a. utterly un-
able 10 hold NY own IN conversation as II
/ had been tho vericst schOOlboy who ever
hlushcd behind bis collar or devouty
wished on some very trying occasion that
IL were lfSrlf4H lIl MAI ~ N'AAssi'fN 49,
his boots and disappear from view alto
Cethcr.
Meanwhile time passed on. as it has
habit of doing, until so many years had
sped that had made some progress IN my
fhrties W o., ono dav M the month OF NC
tober. got such had fall IL the hunting
field thar was laid up the whole winter IN
consequence Of 1T. and even 40 the end Of
that season was still so disabled That
sometimes feared was going TO hc Crlp-
ple for life Indeed. think those long
dreary months which followed my accl-
dent formed the most gloomy part OF my
existence. and the fact OF feeling perfectly
well in health rendered INV enforced mac
ton still harlcrt Co bear. But then Was most
unfavorahly situated m every respect at
that period for, ms father ami stepmOther
having gone abroad | was the sole Occu-
pant OF llrte and remarkably gloomy
house. And with nothing 10 DO AMI all
day long 10 d. 1t in, and having nobody 70
talk to- time moved so slowly tl1t ne dq
not seem 20 have feather IN his wing ana
the silence and solitude were SO dcpTcss-
inr that was fast sinking into state OF
hopeless dependency, when, JuSt at the
beginning of March, my thoughts were
suddenly and ehectually diverted INTO a
new and pleasant channel boy the arrival or
letter from nv COUSIN, Barry barton, VINO
wrote 10 say that he was going down 10
Nonm0uthshiro to spend the Easter at
Prothcroe Castle, and that / must accom-
panv him thither.
"DIrectly told Grandmother Protheroe
! could come he wrote, " she SAID must
bring YOU " ia me, as You were alone and
she IA very anxious 10 see YOU: and though
] know. OF course. that you viii feel shy ut
the thought of facing 80 many women, you
really needn't. for the old lady. nOtwlth-
standing her years, j very bright ana
clever, and she VIII quite enjoy chatting
with sap like YOU; So YOU can take rel
uge under her wing, whore You VIII bo per-
fectly safe, and she viii let you talk TO her
about all Your ologies and lsms TO
your hearts content
This sounded alluriug, for J wanted
change above all things. and though 1 GER
tainly did feel rather nervous at the notion
of encountoriug the large house-party
which old Mrs. PrOthcroe was sure 10 col
lect around her at Ia-tertide. as | had
heard she was a remarkably well-read old
lady. and as Barry suggested that 10y con-
yersing with her should escape all the
perils and Il myers 20 winch man IN my
position would otherwise be exposed, Ire
solved at once that | would close with ms
offer, so / Immediately tclegraphed to him
so say that | would Join BIN with pleasure.
And, all the other prehmiIar'cs having
been subsequently, arrange. by letter, on
the following week he ana l set out to-
gether for prOtherOe, which after an IN
eventful Journey of about seven hours
duration we at length reached IN due time.
When We arrived at the station, however,
we still had a long drive 10 take before we
got 10 the castle But tlis did not object
TO. for the keen, pure ar on that Wild
March morning was wonderfully in
vigorating. and though the purple
shadows still lay dreaming on the dark hill
sides and q white spectral mist stu ln-
gered on the uplands. the landscape was
full II fine effects and the whole scene
so replete with a subtle and infinite charm
that each separate detall-the tender
green of the woods, the pale gray sky, the
morning freshness. the murmuring nver,
and the lonely mOuDtdns-seemed TO
be articulate and 20 SpCa6 10 me eloquent
"; while. when the hoary walls Oh Profile
roe Castle at last came INTO view, thought
as | gazed on it's ivy-clGd turrcts, ITS ma
chicOlatod tow rs crowned with rich, over
hanging bastlons. and its silyery mOat,
that ! had never seen more imposing
structure or one that more quickly carried
the mind back 10 fcudal times.
"Well, how DO you like it, st. George ?"
asked my cousin, who was not little
proud Of his grahlmother's stately home.
"Immonsely :" replied, with perfect
truth land if il is as good interiorly as
exteriorly l shall be glad I've come, if only
10 have seen IT,.
But when entered the house, although
found that the inside was ia perfect har-
mony with the scene without and that the
fragrance of the past seemed 90 cling 10
everything around. what interested me
most was the dear old chatelaino herself;
for, though her hair was as white as snow
and her figure very much bent, she APP
peared still 70 have all the enthusiasm of
youth about her, and 10 be so full of ten
derness and solicitude for everybody that,
In the words Of the old song. she gied no
thought 20 self at a." aud only lived TO
make Others happy.
From the very beginning. too. she took
most kindly 10 me. presumably because
Barry had enlisted her sympathies on my
behalf by Introducing me rs an interest
ingtD though only temporary cripple. And
almost immediately after M arrival she
made me promise TO call her Granny, as all
her other young people did. Every body
calls me Granny" she said Z" and Won must
do the same. Besides, you know YOU real
" arc my grandson in one sense" (my
stepmother was her daughter,) 80 it will
be quite ca r6gis, and shall like it "
Granny" accordingly, she thenceforth
became TO me while she on sher mart