The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-05-03
ON SCRAP BOOKS.
Bill Nye Relates His Experience for q
Readers Benefit.

also desiring to know my own eXper-
fence in scrap books, if I ever had any.
A scrap book generally is like di-
ary; you begin to keep it with extreme
Iexuberance, and you gradually flag
and flicker out and flummix, as one
might say.
| 1 began simply by ordering from my
congressman an edition de luxe of the
report of the commissioner of educa-
ton, bound In plain muslin, and boards.
Taking q volume of this kind to my
airy suit of hall bedroom and woodbox
with the keen blade Of butcher knife
I cut out two leaves and left a third
all the way through without marring
the general plot of the book. This
gave room for pasting excerpts and
other literary gems, most Of which re-
ferred to myself, and prevented that
general fullness which would have re-
suited had not done so.
Whenever paper referred to me I
bought some copies, and, having sent
one to my dear one, carefully cut out
the excerpt from another copy and
pasted it, by means Of some loud and
extremely offensive paste, on the page.
Thus filed at last whole volume of
the reports Of the commissioner of ed
ucation with paragraphs in which it
was stated with more or less typo
graphical inaccuracy that I was ''in
town and quartered at Riley's hotel" !"
or that I was ION our Streets" or that
"shook hands with friends here yes
terday," or that I was attending the
quarterly conference in town." and
many other statements that would be
invaluable as references in future
years. I also had much larger book
in which I kept the adverse criticisms
OF the press, paragraphs In which I
was alluded to as "the intellectual
wart on the editorial page of the SGSSa-
JTaSS Commonwealth" and "the
flea bitten fugitive from justice who
edits the porous plaster across the
street" Whenever my feelings were
wounded I put the item in the large
book and kept it where my children
could see it when I should rest from
my labors forever. I thought it would
teach them humility and really do
them good. The other book 1 used
to keep on the center table for the
use of visitors. If I had visitor who
had the habit of putting in a day or
two at a time conversing with me
about himself generally asked him
to glance over this scrap book, and
while he was doing so 1 would slip
out and take train for some other
point. It is good plan.
Just keep an egotistical scrap book,
using the sourest paste you can pro-
cure, and when man insists on Civ
ing you large bales and mowsful of
information about himself when you
would rather converse about yourself,
hand him this book to entertain him
self with and then you can gently ooze
out the side door and go to the re-
motest parts of the earth.
Finally I heard of a new patent
scrap book with ready gummed pages,
and bought one. The price was big
enough for set Of Dickens, but 1 had
heard that it was good thing, and so
I got it. Then a period of humidity
came along and that book closed for
ever. It wouldn't open any more than
marble slab.
I waited till autumn and then got
another one. Ny wife filled it full of
autumn leaves. They were not fully
dry. She then put heavy weight on
the top. We still have the scrap book
and the leaves, but the book opens
with time lock, and the time set for
it to open is a profound secret be-
tween Gabriel and his wife.
Lately I have adopted the plan of
purchasing several thousand manila
envelops, putting each newspaper clip
ping into one Of these envelops, and
then writing the title on the outside.
then hire house and, by using the
gummed flaps of the en-
velops, fasten them in rows
tastefully on the inner walls of
the house, marking general heading
over each row by means Of red chalk.
This gives the room CHEEKY appear
ance, adds to the acoustics Of the
house and is certainly very con-
venient. By means of a step ladder I
am enabled to select anything I desire
readily, and the space usually fooled
away and covered by expensive but
non-remunerative pictures is made
highly useful
Sometimes have to hire an aman-
uensis to do this work, and it is not
done the same way would do it N.Y.
self. Last year I went away for a
few months to give some readings in
aid OF few poor children for whom I
feel myself responsible, and while
absent, had a young man named
Pulaski Murkley attend to this. He
was very methodical and wrote a
good hand, as afterwards learned by
comparing some Of my own signatures
at the bank with some studies which
he had made OF the same subject.
They were better, if anything, than
my own, must admit, and the
cashier at the bank agreed with me
about it.
But he was very methodical, indeed,
and kept my scrap book carefully,
according to his own ideas. He came
from a summer resort called Chisel-
el'em-out-of-their-e hurst by
the-ses- His father resided at Up-six-
| f1ights-of-stairs- -on-the- Hudson, and
usually spent his summers at About
two miles behind Burdick's lathe
lumber-and-shingle- emil -cash-paid- for
hides undertaking embalming and
ice-cream-by-the-se
People who come from there always
think they know all about everything,
and SO I allowed him to run my scrap
| book,