Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1889-08-05
BATTLING THE HEAT.
How Some of Stockton's Good Citizens
Are Succeeding at 1t.

How Some of stockton's Good Citizens
Are Succeeding at 1t.
The Stockton Nail, in an article on the
hot weather the Slough City is enjoying at
present, tells several humorous stories of
the schemes and devices gotten up by the
citizens to battle the heat. One business
man, it says. doffs his trousers as soon as
he gets behind his counter, which screens
his legs and hides them from the view OF
customers who come and go, all uncon-
scious of what that coanter hides. 1t is
further related of this man that, being
rather absent minded, he forgot one even
ing when ready TO go home to slip his
trousers on. Luckily he had not gone
more than few doors away from his store,
nor passed more than a hundred startled
people, when he met a friend who gazed at
his gaudily striped limb coverings and
asked him when the rehearsal was coming
OFT The business mans gaze followed
that of his friend and-the friend carried
him fainting back TO the store.
Another gentleman, who cannot en-
dure out door life without glossy silk tile
resting above his large brain and ears,
found that his head was oppressed by the
weight of the hat coupled with the heat.
A man who wears plug hat is always sup
posed to have large brain, and this man
was no exception to the rule, for after some
deep thinking he conjured up a scheme to
fool the heat which filled him with Joy.
He had cup about ten inches deep made
of thin tin and just large enough around
to fit closely in the top of his hat. Into
this he dropped a round flat piece of ice
and showed the whole up into the top OF
the hat. Brilliant scheme-magnihceDt
idea. 1t worked more charmingly even
than charm, and on the same principle
as a refrigerator. As the cold GOODNESS
dropped coldly down on his cocoanut be
was transported into an ecstacy of delight
He laughed and joked and asked his friends
why they looked so warm in such pleasant
weather and, in fact, he did everything
that thoroughly happy man is likely tC
do. But he came to dire grief. He is (ol
was) a man much liked by the ladies be.
cause of the interest he took in temperance
and charity church affairs, etc, One day be
entered a room where the Woman's Chris
tan Temperance Union was holding SEES
sion, and carelessly laid his beloved castor
on the center. table. Presently the fabric
began to dissolve and a small stream OF
liquid trickled out. After a moment tbs
whole end of the hat burst out and amids
pool of liquid the tin was revealed. The
unfortunate man tried to explain. but il
was useless, and the ladies declared that {
man who would come into their meeting
with liquor so artfully concealed deserved
no consideration. He was pronounced I
hypocrite, and amidst the excited chatter
shamefscedly Withdrew.
Another individual has q good sized pail
IS lnllN atEn . 10
he can pump the air on himself with hi!
foot while he writes. Some of the boy:
discovered this fact, and one day recently
determined 10 play joke on him while h,
was out. They charged his bellows with
mixture of snuff, burnt cork, flour, pow
dered asatG ida and other light and airy
substances.
The face Of the victim was covered witt
perspiration when he returned, and he So
down with smile, anticipating a cooling
draft from his machine. But that face wa,
covered with something else after he haC
given the bellows squeeze, and that some
thing else mingling with the perspiration
made yillainous compound. With {
howl he sprang for the door, his counte
nance mo,tled white and black. and, no
stopping to investigate matters, he rushed
out in search of lavatory, swearing like
tiend between sneezes, and emitting al
odor from his face which would have done
credit to certain little animal. He passed
several persons in the hall, but did no
seem to care to converse with them. HI
now handles his bellows very carefully, and
always gives them light preliminary
squeeze before turning on the air in full
force
An old gentleman residing in the eastern
part of the city has been in the habit OF
holding his feet in bucket of wa'er during
the warmer hours of the dav, and in thi:
position smoking his pipe. No mishap has
befallen him yet but it is only matter Of
time when his small children will connecI
the bucket of water with an electric battery
and gdlvanize him, or put in chunk of ice
while he is asleep and give him the lock.
Jaw.