Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1889-02-16
APAIR oF PANTS
nv uFnBERr n. RAYNER.


most admirably in landing me, at all
hours, in the most embarrassing situa-
tions, besides causing me 10 be looked
upon as an unnitigated nuisance by amy
gentleman with whom | happened TO
come in contact.
Now nobody win pretend that there
Is anything wrong in confidently In
curing of your friend how much he
paid for the elegant pair of new pants,
upon whose faultlcss fit you aro pleased
To compliment him, and there arc gem
tlemen who would feel highly fattered
upon a stranger eyidenclng so much in
teHigent interest us 10 take the trouble
to ask them politely, Of course, and
with due Difference What might such
a coat as that be worth?' But 1t can
be understood how such an inquiry, no
matter how politely uttered, would gen
orally be received by the worn and an
xious business man eager 10 dispatch
his accumulated correspondence, or tho
bank cashier who has just three min
utes wherein TO catch tho train TO
Montreali
Yes, have been violently expelled
from offices and stores and driven from
the back doors Of saloons on Sunday.
was possessed Of tired, aching
longing, was worried and tortured with
continual and uncomfortable yearning
TO inquire tho p-lcc Of eyerobody's
clothes. | was eaton up with fever
ish anxiety 10 feel the texture ~ every
coat, every pair Of pantalOoas. Free
queutly my anxiety would got ahead Of
my poIitcucss, and would rush on
some unulspsctlug stranger, and grab
bling his sleeves or hawking him back
by his coat-talls, exelaim in frantic
manner Say, what did this cost2
What kind Of goods do yol call that.
Capn9n After | would apologize. aud
magnauimously consent To pay tine.
paid out quite lot Of money IN
fines
The NJ always came upon me 40 tho
most inconycuicut moments. A grntle-
man could sit facing me Ia a ear FOR
hours without the influence II his coat
and pants taking any peruicious effect
upon mo, but tho instant he arose md
commenced smoothing out his pants or
fixing his coat, preparatory 10 getting
oil at his destination. would begin 10
ieel queer. / made terrible faces whilst
trying 10 subdus the nrlur u uy dcsircs.
but my evil designs would invariably
assert themselves. and whilst tho un-
fortunate gentleman. who WAS a. once
the victim Of the instrument o, my
strange passion. was balancing himself
on tho car steps would roach OUT aud
pull him 10, aud Lordy' Lordy!
Sometimes my victim would gut OF
that step in the nick 81 time 10 avoid
me, and my baflcd curiosity would
force me 70 lay violent hands on nv
nearest neighbor, Tlo would mop tho
floor with my head. causing ma to do
great damage 10 tho roof 81 tho car
with my boots, and to considerably de-
face tho pretty pictures on the adycr.
Using cards. Then. after while. I
would take a turn, and put my boot
down on his throat, but he would got
even by biting holes in my shoe lCath-
or.
In most cases, tho other passengers
would considerably agree TO lot IA have
the whole car to ourselves, and we
would have quite an enjoyable time To-
gether, until policeman's club sudden.
" appeared between US and wo would
be brutally and forcIbly separated. In
cases where the witnesses Ind nbssnted
themselves, my victim and would 10.
gether leave the busy world and take n
recreation for a space Of thirty DAYS or
30, or else compromise tho matter BY
"whacking up on n ilno az a penalty
for disturbing the peace.
In either event he would gcnerallv
profess to have no further use for mo-
even 70 despise me.
This unfortunate affection. ma mnv
readily be understood, alienatsd INV
friends, and made mo new epeuiss
every day.
grew sorrowful and depressed.
The last occasion, however which I
was thus attacked, was one frnugh,
with such momentous consequences
that possibly IL may boar narrating In
detail. The event occurred two years
ago. and the facts, which arc perfectly
fresh in my memory. have, / believe
never properly been placed before tho
public.
| was standing lIstlessly against a
post AZ the corner ola popular thorough
fare. thinking no OWL. when Their. and.
donly dawned upon my senses, a vnruo
consciousness Of tho existence Of semo
awful yet sublime prescnce-soms nm.
refined, mysterious Influence.
CLOSED my eyos-T felt myself rrndr-
III