Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-06-14
HUMOROUS AND BRIGHT.

CHARGED with electricity-The sub
scribers to the Bell telephone.
DENTISTS make more money on
draw games than anybody we know
of
1t is the experience of oil conductors
that strange things come to pass on
railroads.
The original Jacobs. Brown is q
collector, isn't hep" yes. He is the
original dun Brown"
SHE hit the nail a fearful whack-
1 meant to say, she triel
She bathed her thumb With arrica,
| And then sat down mud cried.
PARTIAL payments seem hard enough
to the schoolboy, but he finds them
harder still when he grows up.
RUSSIAN fashion note: "The Gear has
returned to ST. Petersburg and changed
his winter suit of boiler iron for a light
spring suit of cast steel.
TEAcHER-You should take lesson
from your sisters, You naughty boy.
Girls don't fight. Little Johnnie-They
does when they gets as old as ma.
JuDGE-At first You stole $50, and
afterwards $40. Are you never going to
do better? Criminal Why, your
Honor, l did better that time by $40.
IT LIKE Italian music" st don't.
Every Dago with hand-organ grinds
it on the Streets" well, don't that
make it fine music pr Chicago Ledger.
A SCIENTIST tells us that the world
is gradually wearing out-that it is
being used up by mankind 1t is fact
that great many writer's and politi-
clans are making the world tired
RusK1N says that in this world the
men who look for the straight will see
the straight" A poker-player would
give anything to discover that Mr..
Ruskin knew what he was talking
about.
Mrs. N. PEcK-so you thought was
an angel once, did you? Mr. n Peck
Yep. Mrs. N. Peck-And you don't
think so now, Ell? Mr.. N. Peck-Nope
1 still live in hopes that you may be,
though.
"MY dear madam, you are perfectly
charming tonight. " 30, you are a fiat
terer; don't believe you" II assure
you 1 am speaking the truth. Why,
when I first saw you, positively I did
not recognize you"
SHE-Do you love music? I am
passionately fond of it, He Gust intro
duced)-I knew you were. I watched
j you the other night at the opera, and
. the way your jaws kept time to the
! music was a. She-Sir?
! IT will take three weeks to count the
/. $780, 100000 i'll the subTeasury ut
New York City. This is one of the dis
, advantages of having lots of money.
/ We couldn't afford to devote three
weeks to counting our wealth.
e "WE don't have dinner in the middle
9 of the day at our boarding house any
= more" "You have lunch, [ suppose 2"
r "No; luncheon" "Well, that's the
Il same thing" ooh, no, it isn't! Lunch
y is light dinner, and luncheon is a
y light lunch"
4 CHuMLEY--I say Barker, Thought
D, you said this watch was waterproof
Here the works are ruined the first
+" time got wet. Barker-Mv dear boy,
had that watch in soak" for six
months before / sold it to you and it
didn't hurt it bit.
!: SALESMAN Tin clothing store)-The
il gentleman who ordered the check suit
this morning has sent it back. Propri-
etor-What's the matter? Salesman
Says he doesn't know the house and
prefers not to take so large check
Lt unless it is certified.
"WHAT is so rare as a day in June,
suddenly inquired young Mr. Jobbles
n at the dinner table, cit can't be this
steak, +" muttered Mobiles, with low
IS toned sarcasm. Perhaps it is payday
J. with some people" said the landlady,
/. returning the startled look of Mobiles
r with stony glare.
"LET me extend my sympathy, Mrs.
J. James, in the loss of your little girl. -
= "Thank you Mrs. Williams, it was q
severe blow to me, and then, to make
my burden all the heavier. poor Fido
contracted the same disease and died
two days later. But we all have our
8 griefs, you know"
MARY-George, have heard you
spoken Of frequently as successful
business man. Il am that Why ?"
"Well, considering the fact that YOU
have been visiting me for three years,
think you should maintain your repu-
tation and talk business" He MAIN
tanned his reputation.
20, LOOK George, they are hanging
out an ice-cream sign across the
, street," The words We're few and softly
spoken, and yet they took all the
brightness out Of the spring sunshine,
{ all the music from the song birds notes,
all the melody from the vernal zephyr,
and all the change out of Georges
pocket
THE DIFFERENCE.
v In dwells polyga,nist-
OF helpnates he has three
Each one owns one-third his heart,
n Three loving hearts owns he.
h In that same town lives II man-
. monogalnist thro' life,
Who now wears Grape for that he has
v just buried his third wife.
f Now, what's the diff renee wiki the two?
q 1t may thus be expressed;
One drove his three wives tandem