The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1889-03-09
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

1T used to be said that there Is nc
TOOL like an old fool, but that was be-
fore there were so many young ones.
"A Russian novelist was recently
arrested on suspicion of being impli.
Gated in a plot. They read his works.
He was discharged. Puck.
--Teacher-"Why do you not punctu
ate your compositions" Pupil-"Be-
cause you told us the other day 1t was
vulgar to point. boston Gazette.
Utah can not come into the Union
because OF too much marrying. Some
States ought to go out because of too
much divorcing. Cincinnati Enquirer.
First Critic "They say that when
Hamfat plays Macbeth he is not salts
fled with killing Duncan" Second
Critic-"No; he murders Shakespeare.
America.
--Dalbey-"I am proud to say Inever
had an enemy that didn't get square
with" Wagfall-"1f you would only
pursue the same plan with your friends,
Dalbey, several of the boys would be
sporting new spring overcoats. "-Terre
Haute Express.
-"Darling," he said. II can not
show my great love for you by rich
diamonds and jewels, but you know the
strong, manly heart is q gem of no in
significant worth" "Yes, l know
that she said, "but you wear that on
your sleeve" Life.
MY dear" said the good wife, as
she looked over to where her husband
was counting up his losses on the cleo
ton, "who is the fool killer the papers
are always talking about?" ''How do
know" he queried savagely; II
never met him." mo, James," she
responded, softly, II didn't suppose
you had"
Miss Blight-"I met Jennie Cash
croft to-day. She told me, by the way,
that she never allowed Cashcroft to
kiss her until after they were married"
Miss Spite-"So he married her out OF
curiosity, 1 suppose. If you had only
tried that plan last summer, perhaps
you might have been Mrs. Cashcroft
yourself, dear. ."-Terre Haute Express.
Catching Tartar. = Physician
(arousing a tramp one morning from a
nap on his doorstep)-"Here, what is
the matter with youP Can't you move
more lively?" Tramp-"rm feeling
pretty bad, boss, and can't be expected
to move in hurry" P.-"What's
the matter?" Tive been at deaths
door all night. Boston Budget
Most Wallpapers nowadays con-
tain arsenic, some of them in such
quantities as to justify the sensational
headline, I'D Death on Parlor Walls;"
but you might set that line in letters
sixteen inches long and explain the
danger in column after column of
double-leaded BREWER, and yet you can
not frighten the young men away be-
fore the half-hour clock had struck ono
thrice.-Somervill journal.
-"You look tired, Miss Brown; too
much dancing?" 80, dear, no; but we
gave what is called an engaged dim
ner,' last week, where eight betrothed
couples were invited, and afterwards
they each retired to eight different
corners of the two rooms and whispered
all the evening, and it reminded papa
and mamma so much of their courtship
that they went out and sat on the stairs.
and left me alone. Do you wonder
still look ?"-Time.
"A public dinner Brown is seated
next to Smith, whose shirt-front is dec
GRATED with three magnificent diamond
(P) studs. Brown-'EXcuse me, Smith,
but / can't help admiring those studs
OF yours" Smith-"Yes; ! think they
are pretty good" Brown-"Don't you
think you run great risk with them?
l suppose you have them insured?"
Smith, ''InsuredP No, should be glad
to do so, but there isn't q company in
existence that will take risk of that
sort" Brown-"My dear fellow, beg
your pardon-there are several plate
glass insurance offices in New York"
THE TOBACCO HABIT