davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20
Better Than Oklahoma,

100 acres of the choicest land in the San
Luis Valley. in Southern Colorado, all under
fence, water-rights secured and bitches
r eady for use. II will be sold as whole or
in quantities to suit the purchaser. 1t is the
finest land in the valley, and is adapted to
either farming or stock-raising, For price,
terms, ETC., address HENRY 4. BUFFERS,
Alamosa. Colorado.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

''How have you been getting along to-
day." asked Williams father. very
well, SIR" "You should never pass a day
without adding to your store of learning,
without finding something OUT .'Well. |
found six people out against whom l had
bills to collect said William in a satisfied
tone.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

'What idiots they have on the newspapers
nowadays" exclaimed Hornblower. 'There
was a reporter in here yesterday and told
him about the big improvements l have
been making down our way. Of course
told him not to mention my name in his pa
per, and the blamed fool didn't"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20
When an article ha,

When an article has been sold for "a years,
in spite of competition and cheap imita-
tions, it must have superior quality. Dob
bins Electric Soap has been constantly
made AMI sold since 1865. Ask your grocer
for IL. Best of all.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Blirks: 'If you have so much trouble
with your teeth, why don't you get artificial
ones? The idea of being bothered that way
in this marvellous age of scientific and me-
chanical progress. got n new set only
few months ago." JinSs: ''Indeed, Are
they success:' Blinks: Success, |
should say so. Why. can almost eat with.
them"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

First sweet girl: ''What subject have you
chosen for your graduation essay
Second sweet girl: ''The Correlation of
Hypnotic and theosophic Theories. What's
yours!"
First sweet girl: "Oh. l selected an easy
one-.ls Marriage a Failure:''
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Partisan artist: Il paint picture Ameri-
caine, and want put in some young ladies'
faces, all true Americaine. all.''
Clubman: "Well, can get you an invit-
alton to Mrs. Highup's party. She moves
in the most exclusive set in the city,
'.Ah, but want pretty faces"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Brown: ELI Perkins is fearful liar.
Everything he says is false" Robinson:
''That's nothing. / know New York edit
or that everything he is going to say is a
lie."
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Mr.. GOneway: Il want sportsman's 5
knife, a good one: I'm going into the woods
for a weeks fishing" Dealer: .'Here's
Just what you want. slr: pocket knife, con-
venlent size, good steel: four blades and a
corkscrew." Mr.. e.: ''That isn't exactly
it: gimme one with four corkscrews and a
blade"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Smith: 81 have just taken some of DIR.
Quack's medicine: thought I'd try new
doctor. Do you know much about him.
Jones: "Yes. a little. A friend of mine
took some of his medicine once" "Did ch?
was it quick to act?" "Oh, yes: there was
Grape on the door the next morning"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Things which one would rather not have
said. Harry: YES. Carrie. love you with
all my heart" Carrie: 1T seems strange.
Henry. that you should think so much of
me-" Henry: Il don't know about that.
There's no accounting for tastes, you
know
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Doctors Wife-'I understand that DR..
Cureal confines himself strictly to Office
Office practice"
Old Doctor-'Yes: that is why he succeeds,
People who are able to walk to an office are
generally strong enough TO get well without
help"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

"And what do you think of this picture; it
is my latest!" Il know nothing of art.
am not critic or even a judge of paint
ing" "But let me have your opinion" :"
well, | should say it was superb, superb
superb" "Ah there, my friend, you see
you e an excellent Judge"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

When Baby was sick, we gave her CastoriA,
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria,
When she nad ChildrCa, she gave them CastoriA
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20
4 SuspiciOuS Act.

"Confound it." muttered Dobson.
"What's the matter, old man?' inquired
Blodson. who was waiting in the library.
"Why. you see it was dark out there in the
kitchen and kissed my wifexby mistake.
hope she don't suspect"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Mrs. Blinkes-"Well, did you go to the
doctor to see about that bee sting on little
Johnny"
Mr.. Blinkers-"Yes. He said We should
put mud on it. &c charged me two dollars
for the prescription, but he gave me the mud
for nothing
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Enamored youth: "Your father seems
worried about something tonight" Sweet
girl: ''Yes, poor pa has so many business
cares" Little brother: "That amt it.
He's mad because the big dog he bought
didn't come.''
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Bobby (whosa faIher is grocer: ''Look,
pa, what got for my birthday-a regular
little grocery store" His father( indu. gent
ly): 'Oh. yes, that's NICE Bobby:
''An't it, though? Little places for coffee
and sugar and spice, and-I say, though.
pa, there amt no sand drawer
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Il hate slang, don't you. Mabel?'' .sYes,
It's enough to make girl get up and chant
the sad refrain of chestnuts. l say that
people who use slang don't know their bus
mess, and what say goes. Eh, Petite"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

A lasting positiop.-Novice: "And what
will you do when you are too old to act any
longer!" Actress: ''Oh, l shall then be-
come ballet girl" Novice: '.And when
you become too old to be a ballet girl, what
ther?" Actress: Il shall never become too
old for that"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Confectionery and Ice Cream Man: "We
shall lose ten of our best customers next
week"
Assistant: 1--WE will? Are they going to
Oklahoma
'.No; They're going to get married.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Dude: THAT dog of mine is dandy.
You ought to see him sometimes. WEAKLY
aw-I believe he has more sense than l
have" Old Crabtree: ''And that amt say
ing much either"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

THINKERS are as scarce as gold; but
he whose thought embraces all his SUBJ
lect. who pursues it uninterruptedly and
fearless of consequences,i is diamond of
enormous siZe.-Larafer.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20
Why He Was Late.

Dennis" said gentleman to his jani.or
''you are late this morning. What is the
troub!e?" Il wor obliged to go to court
this mornin,' where they wor investigating
a little occurrence that happened last
night" swell, did they find anything:'
"Yes, they fined me-"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Boy (reading history: "Pa, are dishon
est people still punished by the stock?" Pa
(who speculates a ittIe): Occasionally,
my son, occasionally, down on Wall street.i
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

''Now, that's what I call blow in the
dark" said n Dakota man to his wife.
''What is" she asked. THAT hurricane.
that came along last night
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Deacon Goode: "You have labored con-
tinuously for five years without vacation.
Wouldn't you like to 90 somewhere for
change?" Over-worked pastor( wearily):
.'Yes, would like to go to circus.''
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Pre- tty girl-"I have called. sir. to ask if
am beautiful enough for the stage?" The
atrical Manager (kindy)-"No-o, my child,
yours is not good stage face: but don't de-
spair. You would make brilliant success
as typewriter.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Jones: ''You ought not to suffer with the
toothache. Haven't you enough nerve to
have 1t pulled?' Brown: ''Yes, that's what
is the matter. / have too much nerve.'
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Mr.. Hobbs: Il see that Newport. Pa.)
farmer has n hairless calf on exhibition.
What remarkable freak that is"
Mrs. Hobbs: Remarkable? Why, you
are baldheadcd yourself, John"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Laura: ''How stupid these base ball re
ports are! Here it says that 'Mulroy was
pounded all over the field and doesn't say
what for or who he was"
Aunt Jane: II guess Mulroy was the UNI
pire"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

The coltish old citizen who yelled in his
sleep 'that's horse on me-" found no trou-
BILE in convincing his wife that he had had
the nightmare.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

NJ. L. THOMPSON l. CO., Druggists,
Coudersport, Pa, say Halls Cataryh Cure is
the best and only sure cufe ter eatayyh thsy
svse sold. Du6fsA ~ \, ~,
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

1pLENEss is the hot-bed of tempta-
tion, the cradle of diseaes, the waster of
time, the canker-worm of felicity.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Omaha mamma: Il prefer to have you
go with Mr.. Brown rather than Mr.. Jones.
You do not look well with small man."
Omaha Belle: 'Why, mama, Mr.. Jones is
the larger man. 1t was when he called that
the hammock broke"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

The difference between q piow
And q greasy dollar bill,
- only that one titus the soil
Au6 ~ etnee lella ~ tt1l
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

sorry to see that one of your nice new dishes
is cracked" Mrs. Younghusband: 'Yes,
love, but what could you expect? We have
had cracked wheat in it for the last three
months"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

City editor to new reporter: "Do l un-
derstand that this interview Is verbatim!'
New Reporter: Eyes, sir, 1 wrote it my
self. The man was out of town."
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

''What is the social standing OF that young.
Flibberty who comes to see our Mary:'
asked Mr.. Fangle. ''Oh, he never stays
later than TO-" replied Mrs. Fanglc.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

1t was n countryman from Waco who
thought that ships were boarded with
gang-planks. And he wasn't so far out of
the way, either.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

''How much for this picture?" Artist
''The price is 5000" "Why, man alive.
DO you expect TO get paid for your work as
though you had been dead four or five hun
dred years?"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

First little boy: 'And does your sister
play the banjo?"
Second little boy (proudly): '.Indeed she
does. You jrst ought to hear her. She's
graduate of Vassar, she is.''
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Up De Town: ''Why does Van Rennet
turn down side street every time he meets
a cow?" Ward McAlabaster: ''Sh-h-h,
His grandfather was butcher"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20
TSHa.
NYN&s>
S;SaNxsaQax;SMa
100
NOSSS
ONHNSM

The Chief Reason for the great success Of
Hoods Sarsaparilla Is found In the fact that
Merit Wins. it's the best blood purifier and
actually accomplishes all that 10 claimed for 1t.
Prepared only by C. I. Hood 4 Co.. Lowell. Mass
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Boston Lady: Bridget, wish you would
refrain from using that coarse and vulgar
word, pantry" Bridget: ''Then what
ears 'trouseryi is not nearly SO offensive"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

basso's shoulder and went to sleep, and was
Immediately put out for mapping on second
base,
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

The best English pun we know of is
20 shillings.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

For all arrangements of the stomach, liv-i
er and bowels, take DIR. Pierce's Pellets.
One a dose.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

since you have been working at dynamo
station, you have got rid of your rheuma-
tisrn:" Second Citizen-''Just so. The dis
ease seems to have left me and gone into
my WATCH"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

II Is when landlord creeps through the
barb-wire fence that he is almost sure to
get his back rent.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

Mr.. O!dchap-''Yes, 1 have concluded to
apprentice my son TO a barber" Friend
"Has he bent that way?' ''Well. no; but
think he'll be popular. He doesn't like
onions"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20
RUNIOUS COMPANIONS.
"CONSORT WITH BURGLARS AND YOU
WILL BE A BURGLAR"

DIR. Talmagc Makes Some New Remarks
on an Old suiject-How Spcndthrifts and
Debauchees Are Madc-EviI Wrought by
tho Skeptic-A Sermon Delivered in the
Brooklyn Tabernacle.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20
Sherin-s Sale.
Smoke the Sheriff sale sesar s'sshs 10: Havaaa -

Great statesman: II have just received
letter from my brother. He has failed in
business again. No matter ghst he tries he
fails utterly. Singular, isn't tit:' Ordinary
Citizen: ''Well. if he is too incompetent for
any trade, business, or profession, why in
the world doe mt he go into politlcs:"
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20

ho rs IL YOU Iuednt l. nave un-
derstood in store, and shop. and street,
that You will not stand in the compan-
ionship of the skeptic, the idle, the
pleasure seeker.
Rather than enter the compaionship
of such, accept the invitation to a bet
ter feast. The promises of God are the
fruits. The harps of Heaven are the
music. Clusters from the VINEYARDS of
God have been pressed into the tank
ards. The sons and daughters of the
Lord Almighty are the guests. While
standing at tho banquet, to fill the cups
and divide the clusters and command
the harps and welcome the guests, is a
daughter of God on whose brow are the
blossoms of paradise, and in whose
cheek is the flush of celestial summer.
Her name is Religion.
Her ways are ways of pleasantnesa,
And all her paths are peace.
Decide this soon, oh. young man,
what direction you will take. There
comes such a moment of final decision
why not this? One night I saw
young man at the street corner evidently
doubling as to which direction he had
better take, his hat lifted high enough
SO you could see he had an intelligent
forehead, and he had a stout chest and
a robust development. Splendid young
man. Cultured young man. HOnored
young man. Why did he stop there
while SO many were going up and down?
The fact is. that every man has a good
angel ana bad angel contending for
the mastery of his spirit, and there was
good angel and bad angel struggling
with that young mans soul at the corner
of the street. Come with me-" said the
good angel; Il will take you home; 1
Will spread my wing over your pillow; I
Will lovingly escort you all through life
bless every cup you drink out of, every
couch you rest on, every doorway you
enter; / will consecrate your tears when
you weep. your sweat when you toll, and
ct the last will hand over your grave TO
The bright angel Of q Christian yssasrss.
Dodge City times., 1889-06-20


and mother, who died while holding
fast the Christian religion. They died
singing; but the young infidel only said:
Don't breathe that cold air into nv
face. You crowd me too hard. It is
getting dark in the room"
Again. l urge you to shun the COM
panionship of ldlers. There are men
hanging around every store, and office,
and shop who have nothing to do. or
act as if they had not. They are apt to
come in when the firm are away, and
wish to engage Won in conversation
while you are engaged in your regular
employment. Politely suggest TO such
persons that you have no time to give
them during business hours. Nothing
would please them SO we'll as to have
you renounce your occupation and as
sociate with them. Much of the time
they lounge around the club rooms or
the doors of engine houses. or after the
dining hour stand upon the steps of a
fashionable hotel OF an elegant restau-
rant, wishing to give You the idea that
that is the place where they dine. But
they do not dine there. They are sink
ing down lower and lower. day by day,
Neither by day nor by night have any
thing to do with the idlers. Before YOU
admit man into your acquaintance ask
him politely: What do you do for a
livine?' II he says, Nothing, l am a
gentleman" look out for him. He may
have very soft hand and very faultless
apparel, and have high sounding
family name, but his touch is death. Be-
fore you know it you will in his pres
ence be ashamed of your work dress.
Business will become to you drudgery,
and after while you will lose your
place, and afterwards your respecta-
bility, and last of all your soul. Idle
ness is next door to villiany. Thieves,
gamblers, burglars, shop lifters and as
sassins are made from the class who
have nothing to do. When the police
go to hunt up and arrest a culprit they
seldom go to look in among busy clerks
or in the busy carriage factory, but they
60 among the groups Of idlers. The
play ID going on at the thestey. when
tu6dssly there y . scu@s In tho top
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-11
SCHOOL
S u P ERIN NDEN rs.

Just completed and for sale at this Office Record
OF Teachers Ability for by Superintendents and
Principals of COMMON. CITY aud GRADED
SCHOOLS. Can BIO used IN any city. The book 10
OF o convenient size TO carry In the pocket Bound
IN Cloth. 50 cents; Flexible Back. Sl Sent by mail
to any address upon receipt Of cents for cloth and
81 o. for flexible binding. Orders by mail will re-
ceive prompt attention. Address
THE WICHITA EAGLE
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-11
INDOOR INTEREST.

In putting down the carpets, sprinkle g
little salt over the lining, especially around
the edges; this will prevent Buffalo moths
KEEP copper kettle bright by using a
weak solution of oxalic acid Have the
kettle warm, but not hot, wet flannel cloth
in warm water, then in the acid and rub
quickly over the kettle and polish with a
soft, dry cloth.
SAUTED BEETs.-Boil beet Peel and Gu,
into slices. Melt little butter, add pepper
and salt. Put in the slices of beet and cook
few minutes. Add vinegar and serve.
Melt the butter In spider, cut the beet in
thin slices, salt and pepper and then fry.
Eeas should be cooked simply. The best
way to boil eggs is to put them in boiling
water and then set them back on the stove
where they will not boil, letting them sim
mer for eight or ten minutes. This makes
the albumen soft jelly throughout, and
the whole Is good in flavor and easily d.
gested.
STuFFrNG FOR BAKED F1sp. Take one cup
OF cracker crumbs, one saltspoonful of salt,
one teaspoohful OF chopped onion, one of
chopped parsley, one Of chopped capers and
one Of pickles. Moisten the above with one
fourth Of cup of melted butter. This makes
dry, crumbly stufing. II moist stuffing rs
desired, use stale bread crumbs and moisten
with an egg and the butter.
OYSTERS AND MAcAaoNI. - Cook three
fourths cup OF maoaroni until tender.
Drain and pour cold water throughit Melt
one tablespoonful butter add one table
spoonful -four and pour on slowly one and
one-half cups hot milk; add one teaspoon
full salt and one saltspoonful pepper. Put
a layer OF macaromi into baking dish,
then layer Of oysters and sauce, repeat
Cover with buttered crumbs and bake
twenty minutes In hot oven.
A PIECE Of smoked salmon, well fresh
ened in warm water, dried in napkin,
delicately broiled and well buttered, or
clear, thick piece Of salt Goldfish, treated in
the same way and served hot, will sometimes
relish when nothing else will, and both are
recommended by physicians as stimulant
to the appetite of convalescents. 1t adds
greatly to the attrsctiveness of both break.
fast and dinner that it should be served hot.
point that is often apparently lost sight Of
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-11
aailY Eas1e
A MAIDEN FAIR.

Her check like the fairest rose;
In sweet, melodious trebles
Her voice runs like the stream that flows
So blithely DER the pebbles.
Her eyes-unfathomed depths OF blue.
Flash forth as clean and bright
AS all the sflvery starlings do
Which stud the sky at night.
Her flowing tresses, uncontrolled,
Fall Ser her shoulders whitcness.
1t seems as If a mass Of gold
Hung loose IN all its brightness
Her two lips form a rosy gate,
From out OF which there comes
Sometimes the tune Of some sweet song.
Which she so softly huns.
She is the fairest in the land,
There's no maid half so prett.
That can't win her heart and hand
Is really quite pity.
But to the man who wins her heart
I'll drink his health in water,
Though he viii very cruelty part
Me and my little daughteri
Henry TaIcoh Aitts, in Jndos.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-11
DR. ScHENcK's
MANDRAKE Plus.

For Sale by all Druggists. Price Is Cts. per boxi
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-11

Engraved CALLING cards-as the
Wichita EAGLE Office d63 If
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-11
treatment of Hen Manure.

The value Of hen manure depends
much upon its condition as to moist
ure, lumpiness. etc, and in order to
put it in condition for planting when
lumpy it should be mixed with twice
or three times its bulk of moist loan
or meadow muck, and allowed to heat
for few days. when the Jumps will
be easily broken up by overhauling it.
In cold weather the heating may be
FASTENED by sprinkling with hot water.
II ii smells loud" when overhauling.
mix more loan to absorb the ammonia
Hen manure is often overvalued. In
the air-dry state it usually contains in
1000 pounds, 50 pounds nitrogen
worth 81 so, II pounds potash worth
81 and 80 pounds phosphoric acid
worth 81. 80. in all S7.62. If barrel
weighs 200 pounds. the manure is toll
erably dry and has not been exposed
TO the weather. it would probably be
worth 81 to sl25 per barrel.-Massa-
chusetts Ploughman.
The Mature and Immature Mind.
81 beg your pardon, sir, but find this
treatise on representative government al.
most incomprehensible. have come to re-
turn itn
What's the matter with itr'
ut abounds in classical, scientific and
other illusions and contains an immense
number of words which an obliged to look
Up IN the dictionary, and when have done
so, ind them marked obsolete"
All, sec. It was mistake. This work
is intended TO be used in schools. viii give
you another treatise for grown readers that
can be understood. Time.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-11
a. FIAGG, Proprietor.
Cor. I'd and 9Th ayes, Wichita

Manufacturer OF Steamengines,
Boilers, Pumps and all kinds OF
mill gearing. Architectural iron
a speciality. Iron and brass cast
ingS made to order. Estimates
made on all class or work and
orders promptly attended TO.
90 W. Il. FONDA. Supt
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-11
SPLENDID Passenger Equipment

Free reclining chair cars are now running
ON all trains on the c., K. & N. railway,
st. Louia 9tf
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-05-11

4 TmnOGRAPHE and Printed Letter
1TIHI Heads, Note Heads, Envelopes,
MluU Business Cards, Wedding and
! Party Invitations, Calling Cards
Luncheon Cards, Bonds, Mortgages, Certifi-
Gates Of Stock, ETC., at the Wichita EAGLE
pfice, Wichita, Kansas.
Smyrna times., 1889-01-23
The News of London.

a peculiar feature of London, to berin
with, are the so called news. The nan
news originally applied to the rovaI
stables, though whether on account Of
the characteristic melody of the cats that
congregate around such establishments
or Ior some more classical cause, has never
neen explained. 1t gradually came to be
adopted for the alleys in the rear of fash.
lonaDle mansions on which the stables
open and, in fact, for any street of
stables. The news of London are streets
SUI generis They cut in half the blocks
on which swell residences make a pomnons
frontage, and their aspect is as much more
picturesque and homeli1e, as it is less i'm.
posing than that of the grinly GRAND
palaces Of which they are adiuncts.
In the quarters of London in which
arlstoeracy still fingers, the news still
preserve much of their old Character and
arc the abiding places Of stable helpers and
geenteel poverty. In the deteriorated paris
OF the town they are squalid and reel,ing
nests OF misery and want, where bnmo1
9gelngs harbor like rats and probably often
10 not see the light of day for wears
can imagine nothing moro horrible undor
the sun than the WhitechapeI news mn.
less 1t be the dreadful inner cour+e ond
40 thoroughfares which still further corn
oncate the ramifeations Of these mazes Of
Misfortune and vice.-Alfred Trumble in
Bulletin.