Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-10

I | l
DIST zines take, and so 1
y H. IL, s,.' III. ;sg 5sI. to ,.ass1 is.''"s' Ct
THE DISPATCH. OF course none of us
Hirts. But it won't do to be too sincere
with men. We must all lind that out
sooner or later. Life is pretty serious,
especially for the boys. People must amuse
themselves. Girls must learn to let men
say pretty things to them, and do pretty
things for them, without either losing their
own hearts or heads or making the mistake
of holding the men too strictly responsible
for what they say or do. Because man
finds girl attractive, likes to be with her,
enjoys doing the gallant thing by her, 1t
need not mean that he has an idea Of marry
ing her or of breaking her heart.
The management of such pretty complica-
tions as our rather free society brings about,
in relations between men and women, is
worth thought. Friendship is too exaoting.
Grave attachments are to be avoided. But
there is big middle ground Of soclability,
congeniality, airy sympathy and gallantry,
that is worth cultivating, and which should
De SaIC as we'll as leSlblAdtCAy AA
other words fencing is
A PRETTY PAsTIME.
Buttons on the swords you know. There
NAV be ali the graceful movements, quick
passes, swish of blade and fash of steel, and
vet the swords are tipped, and 1t is quite
harmless Fencing with points bare is an
other matter. I don't pretend to advise
those who do it beyond suggesting bandages
and doctor, or perhaps had better say
bans and a divine, ready at hand. Girls
are too inclined to place something OF mat
rimonial value upon attention" They are
too prone to look upon every man as pos
sibIe lover and husband. Dear mel That
is the most foolish thing in the worldl One
cannot, and one does not want to marry
every man who makes himself agreeable.
Men ought not to feel themselves required
to back up with proposal every compli-
ment they pay.
Better regard every man as merely so good
a partner in passing time as he is clever
enough to make himself If he is to be more
the fact will develop naturally. You need
not seek it. Don't take things too seriously.
Flirting at best and worst is pretense. At
best 1t is pretense, recognized as such by
both parties. judgment, tact and constant
presence of mind are necessary to keep to
getting knocked off the swords tips. That's
what gives zest, suppose, to the amuse-
ment.
Every girl should be versed in the re-
quired tact, equipped with the judgment
necessary and capable of sustained presence
of mind. OF course, granted that mutual
amusement is all that is sought, each desires
to avoid deceiving the other into belief in
sincerity. If you encourage your friend to
get in earnest you will have cause to blame
yourself. Hence the necessity for constant
presence of mind. Remember a woman need
never say anything. She hears. 1t is the
province of the stronger sex to ask; and a
question can be answered or not, as one
chooses.
A CooUETTE's TRIUMPH.
By the way, the triumph Of coquetry is to
hear "I love you" said and avoid reply.
But am telling my correspondent about
flirting, not coquetry. The comfort and
safety of a Irritation lies in letting each say
firmly its own story. Begin all over
again every time you meet, else that inex-
orable law of progression which governs the
emotions will soon rush you out of pretense
into seriousness, out OF comedy into eompli-
cation, out of filtration into heart-break or
matrimony. Keep that law of progression
N
things in earnest Men like to talk desper-
ately, but they don't usually want to be be-
lieved. It is expecting too much of Alfred
to wish him to 60 and really
shoot himself because he says he is going to.
Because Dick says he is thinking of you
with dangerous frequency you need not get
scared. He likes to put it that
way. You must have too much
tact to embarrass him by TAX
ing him in earnest. Because moon
light and the music ahost IRON the ball
room inclines Mr.. Montmorancy to senti-
ment you need not horrlfy him by futtering
into blushing embarrassment, or put
vision of breach of promise action before
him by expecting him, at his call the next
day, to renew the moonlight melody. Of
course don't mean you are to laugh. Dear,
no. Always be gentle and sympathetic.
Because a man with fine eyes likes to let
them soften and melt as he looks at girl is
no reason why she should think he is going
to propose, or fall in love with him, or think
he wishes her too. 1t is quite right that
girls should be treated with much delerence;
that flowers should be given them, pretty
things said to them, attention paid them.
1t is the homage the other sex delights to pay
them. Let it be taken gently, graciously,
simply as homage, and SO valued.
MEN ARE SUSCEPTIBLE
I know there are men who do not find
themselves sufficiently amused unless they
fancy they are making q genuine "in.
preston" on the girl to whom they devote
themselves. Well, Welli it is harmless
enough vanity. Let them fancy 80 far as
your Judgment permits, and as safely as
your tact can accomplish. The idea is
simply not to let the genuine impression be
really made, and not to let the man get too
interested trying to make it.
Men are awfully susceptible. They can
afford to be. Failing in and out of love
really need not worry about them. First
attend to yourself. As long as you have
not famed the spark of sincerity that ignites
their fancy you can without worry depend
upon going harmlessly out. Just take care
of your own family, that's all. Don't
think you must help him to "get over IL. Z"
He will do it very nicely all by himself
Just give him a chance to recover and
loophole to believe you never noticed his
slip. It hurts a mans dignity to know that
you realize he not only made fool of him
self, but would have made bigger one had
he been allowed to. Don't rub that in,
Let him fancy you thought him pretending
all the time. So the wee affair will blow
over without a whir Of ashes and the man
will always have sneaking regard for you
as o good fellow. Never be goose and talk
friendship to man who even fancies him.
sell in love with you. 1t simply makes you
seem vastly irritating in q calmly superior
way, and inclines the man to rage and reck-
lessness. Put yourself in his place and you
will promptly see why.
Here are two good rules: Never lead q
man on, and always leave him free to with
- ana. H., I.