Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-10-05
CONFESSION OF A TENNIS SLAVE
The Tale Of . Family that surren-
dered, Written by the Abashed Father

/ - "a s0uuAc CSOIs raAO sun anu
heir.
'How perfectly ioveiyr' exclaimed his four
sisters in choros
The house is too small and the rooms are
stuny," I replied firmly and with some
warmth, for foresaw quite clearly what all
TINS meant; the soil is evidently clay and I
suspect the drainage is not what il should be.
No, I'm afraid the place won't suit US"
"Ot, Charles" cried my wife, ..hov can Won
be so unreasonable? lou know that a full
| sized tennis court is what we have all been
longing Tor l am sure you are quite wrong
about the soil never saw more samirshls
gravel walks. INV wife is most absurdly isao-
rant about soil II you ask my opinion think
you viii never meet with such a house axaln,
and II would be wrong not to take it,"
The above conversation took place in the
garden Of q house described an the house,
agents eatalogus as "a most tuhstsntial and
sharmlng family residence, tastefully decorated
and lifted with every modern eonvenisnce,
standing on high ground in a most lovely dis
triet on soil well known for its natural drain
| age. &c. &C., &c" IL is hardly necessary TO
say that when viewed in its solid reality il was
extremely hard TO identity il with this auds-
ciously idesl:zed description. aud that the full
some praises OF the place, which had 10 listen
TO a. each member OF my family in turn gave
NE The benefit OF has or her opinion during the
Journey home, were entirely undeserved IL
Is perhaps also necessary TO add that, though
entirely disspproved of it and felt heartily
ashamed OF my weakness, / took that house on
a repairIng lease for seven years.
! The reader may ask why.
Because II had a ful-sized tennis court and
I my family are hopeless tennis PLAYERS.
NY son was the nrst TO succumb 20 the tennis
FEVER. he caugh; the disease at Oxford. where
| he was SO unfortunate rs TO become chamnion
OF his college, and during the long vacatiou'
! he conveyed the infection TO bis sisters who
showed Hateful prediction for the game and
/ n. L.
self. Their mother though she of course failed
most eSreglously when she was besuiled by her
unnatural offspring into attempting 20 learn
now to play, nevertheless grew 50 absurdly
proud OF the skill they displayed in il that she
became merely passive instrument in their
nsnds. In short, like all unhappy sufferers
/ from this insidious malady, nv poor family live
! now only Tor lawn tennis. and tor the last three
years my substance. my comfort and nv tastes
nave been sacrificed TO their extraordinary
I craving Tor the game
| am devoted gardener, and when took
| the house above mentioned cousoled myself
| with the thought that it really had a capital
garden-the only good thing about IT, Ii very
| soon became clear, however that a flower oar
Den Is incompatible with lawn tennis The
nrst sacrifice was called on to make was the
! removal OF promising young tree aud some
shrubs, which were said to Interfere with hack
| strokes In the left-hsnd court" While thew re-
! manned 1t was mere folly. was told, 10 at
Tempt TO play tennis; and 1T was also di.coy-
| ered that the lawn would look much better IL
they were taken away. was in hopes that my
| Iandlora would place his veto on this act Of
sacrilege, but. to my dismay, he was so desir-
Gus OF retaining me as tenant that he gave
| my VIE, who took upon herself to apply to
MN, carte blanche to do what she pleased in
inc Sarden and her pleasure. or, rather. that
| OF her children, whose slave she is WAS that IL
should be turned into a tennis court. Flower
| oeds were abolished, paths turfed. shrubs de-
stroyed and yards of hideou. netting suqgest-
I've OF unfinished or ruined aviaries. were set
up, and then our lawn was pronounced 70 Ia
hit for playing on"
Thank heaven. they cannot play tennis in a
Kitchen garden, thought |. as abandoned nv
flowers and lawns to the hOrdes of tennis van
da.s, clad IN astounding blazers and wondrous
coIored pettleoats AID jackets. who invaded
my territories throughout the summer making
the air rssound with their ceaseless shouts OF
vantage! Deuce" and Love ffteeni" tll
l thoroughly lOathed the whole barbarous
larson- "hen SAID this L did not yet know
THAT the lawn tennis PLAYER is as omnivorous
as LOCUST, and that though he cannot destroy
Kitchen garden by playing on it, he will,
during summer such as We unhappily had
that year, deyour with terrible rapidly all il
contains. NV Strawberries, my peaches NV
grapes, my lettuce. all my fruit and ali NV
vegetables, went 10 furnish those meals which
the tennis pleyer-who when not playiug ia
eating or drInking-consumes before begin
ming to piay, Ia the intervals Of play and after
vide cups" and curious drinks" designed to
slake his quenehless thirst. while the liabilities
have contracted for sora.ed waters, tea cof-
fee and lemons, devoted to the same object,
are enormous.
am naturally Of . sanguine and CHEEKY dis
position, and when the wet weather to nav ioy.
| finally put an end to the season took comfort
IN the Thought that my family, satiated by the
enormous feast Of tennis they had enjoyed
| would probably tire OF the game altogether in
4 the following Those hnnepor h.
| have realized the terrible strength of this mas
| sion IL ii is once yielded TO will Of course be
prepared 10 hear that found was altogether
| mistaken an my surmises. Hardly had the
season begun when found myself called uoon
| to make an additional court IN the paddo, K
because IL was almost useless to invite people
! to play when We had only one court to oder
them. Having thus provided themselves with
| double court and deprived my Aldsrney COWS
OF = portion of their lawful territory, NV family
insisted on having private tournament"
which proved so successful that il inspired NV
unhappy children with passionate desire for
playing at all the public tournaments that
came in their way. Hitherto INV tennis budget
had comprised only three items all enormous.
however,, namely.tsnnis gear. food for tennis
players and medical attendance Tor tennis
elbows, sprsined ankles and those attack %
| exhaustion to which the female PLAYER perioii-
cally succumbs through Overriding il" Now
1t began to be swellsd by three fresh ones
namely, entrance money for tournaments
railway journeys and hotel bills.
The reader may perhaps imagine that have
concluded my catalogue of woes. but the worst
from my point of view. still remains 10 he told
One morning IN the early part OF tie present
tennis season my youngest daughter, agod
fifteen, to whom L am perhaps foolis lily lndul-
| gent, finding me in good humor. had the au-
dacity to ask me TO play ''single" wish her.
| say audacity because my feelings on the sub
| ject of tennis were so well known by NV family
! that until this time no member OF it had ever
| had the courage to suggest such thing. The
! chiid's efrontery, however, though il ook me
| by surprise, also rather amused me- and a. she
is q very promising young player, and ss she
| was also anxious to practice for an important
| match IN which she was about 80 take part,
| and as her mother and brother and sisters
were all away at tournament, Ifelt there was
some excuse for her request. was, as have
| said, ia a good humor, aud, unhappily for nv
self, Was weak enough to consent. l discovered
that had what they called an effective
service" and my "back-hsnd strokes
elected the warmest applause from
my daughter. Before realized the
full extent of my folly L had played three sets,
and was easily induced after luncheon TO play
\ three more, during the concluding one of which
the remainder of my family, returning from
| their tournament, looked on with mingled
amusement and approval at the unexpected
skill displayed. My son was kind enough to
/ say that, with practice, should play an IN
common good game, by Joye!' and from that
time the fatal spell of tennis has been ever in
| creasing its mold over me- /, too, live now only
for tennis; and feel that if were even asked