The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-12-14
BRIGHT BITS.

''UPoN my soulr' exclaimed Mrs. Flyaround.
Il never saw such an old gadder in all my life
as that Mrs. Neverhome is, Actually yester-
day called seven times at her house, and
couldn't get in oncer'-Ep0ch.
WY should be compelled to pay extra for
bringing things over from Europe in my trunk?''
said a traveller.
Simply az matter of duty was the reply
OF the customs officer Exchange.
FooT BALL PLAYER (feebly)-Did we VIM
Sympathizing Comrade-We did. old fellow
Foot Ball Player (excitedly)-Never mind that
dlslocated thigh, doctor. Take these broken
teeth out OF my mouth so that | can hurrah.-
Chicago Tribune.
ONE.,''rhis is an awfuly new country" re-
marked the Englishman; you haven't single
20, that's all right" confidently replied the
American; wait year or so and see the Har-
rlson administration. Puck.
SHE-This milk is sour.
He-That's very strange.
NO it isn't. Scientists say great noises will
make milk sour, and you made noise enough
when you came home late last night to sour a
whole dairy. Strings.
MRs. DE srYLE-what Going to cut the De
Goode girs2
Miss de Style-Why, yes, ma have to at
this season of the year. They have skins that
never tan and guests will think we associate
with people who stay in town all summer.-Er-
change.
Mr.. CUMBERBAcx-Isn't that Miss Walkers
They say she's such jolly girl should like to
meet her.
Miss Stonewall--Your chances are pretty
good, as she doesn't ride much better than YOU
do. and you may be thrown together-Er-
change.
MRS. MrGeINs-Its a raining and Mrs. Good
soul wants to go home and l have no umbrella
TO lend her except my new guinea one. Can't !
Mr. Muggins- Hardly The only umbrella
I've got has her husbands name on the handle
-Erchdn0e.
Mr.. BULLY RAGG-Now, sir, you have stated
under oath, that this man had the appearance
or gentleman. Will you be good enough to
tell the jury how gentleman looks, in your
estimation!
Witness-I can if you'll stand out of the way,
You're not Transparent Exchange.
DIeNIFIED PARTY ito New Haven bootblack)-
Can you tell me, sir, if shall be able to make
connections In order TO reach New York by 3
O'Clock p. m? | have business of great i'm
portance in the metropolis.
Bootblack-Nop, but yer all right, pard; dey
don't begin de game till half past t'ree.-TIrne.
IT ALL DEFENDED ON Tm.-"By the way,
Bridget, said Mrs. Bland the other morning,
now old are your"
"Shure, MIN, said Bridget, as she poured
three gallons of kerosene on a piece of wood
two inches square in the stove, Il just swim
months older than me brother Tim and if he
lives till next october I'll be twinty four-Life
AUNT Polly, am pretty sure that your
boy Henry stole some eggs out of our hen
house 70 day. have just been out there, and
found nothing but nest egg
Den hit sholy want Henry, missus''
You are certain about it, are your"
"Yes'm. Use positive. Henry wouldn't leave
no nest aig; he amt 10 SIGH niggah as dat. =
Time.
SUPERSTITION PAYs.-Edith (at Monte Carlo
in an audible whisperI-I'll put this louis OF
upon the number of my age, Ethel. I'm sure il
will win. places the coin on 49, The ball is
29)
Ethel-O. Edith, why didn't you place it upon
the right one? Only thiuk-you would have
won thirty-six louis.-Pttck.