Morning journal and courier., 1889-03-16

The WOfSG IOfLu OI WTlLerS cI6mp IS Do1nG cramped for funds. Boston Courier.
 No blow the wind can give will cause
 break of day.-New Orleans Picayune. One touch of spring New York Journal
 It is suspected that an exclusively vegeta-
 ble diet will result in turnup nose.-Boston
 Transcript
 The railroad sandwich is an instance where
 they never succeed in making both ends
 meat.-Merchant Traveller.
 Dullard-ssI wonder what they put those
 wings on that house for?'' Brightly-'So as to add flight or two of stairs to it."-LoweIl
 Citizen.
 s'whom the gods love die young." And the more one sees of the survivors the more one appreciates the taste of the gods.-Life.
 Now comes the time when the youth who has worn his fall overcoat all winter wonders if few repairs won't make it pass for a spring one.-Puck. a5 Rescuer (to man he had just cut down)- The boys lynched yer and left yer fur dead, did theys We'll, how do yer feel now. ''Half-hanged nan-Quite unstrung.- Drake's Magazine.
 Customer Gin book store)-"Have you vic- tor Hugo's ''93" in this paper-covered series." Clerk Cooking over the shelyes) )-"Yes, sir; we have No. 93, but it's not Victor Hugo's; it's one of Miss Gushington's noyels.-Life." Cue-rious.-Racing man (neeting Sport ing Prophet)-"I say, old man, you'd make prize cue for billiard handicap" Sport ing Prophet (rather pleased) )-'tHow so!" Racing Man-"Because your tip never comes off. ff."-Funny Folks. Iowa man-It is strange that you should have only one corn exchange in Minneapolis and so many rye exchanges.
 Minneapolitan (showing the sights)-My
 dear sir the latter are only sample rooms Minneapolis Tribune. Mother (to daughter who is about to be married) )-There is one thing I have forgot
 ten to teach you, dear. It is most impor- tant.
 Daughter-What's that, ma? Mother-I must show you where a mans pockets are situated.-Town Topics. ta Governor of West Virginia to governor of West Virginia-Say, governor, come out and ! have something.
 Governor of West Virginia-Don't mind if do, governor, but hold on a minute and will call the governor of West Virginia and we will all three go out together.-Chicago Journal.
 A Geeat Artistic TIiumph.-M. Bluefern (man dressmaker)-"Thisis is the proudest day of my life!" Admiring wife-"What Few l honor has been heaped upon you?" 'I at- tended dress rehearsal at the Fashion Theatre and everybody admitted that my | dresses acted better than Worth's. ."-New ! York Weekly.
 l A Lost Opportunity. ty.-Jiggers-'Darn an | iguoramus, anyhow" Wiggers-t'What's the l matter nowa" Jiggers-sI was calling on little Miss Pertly last night, and she asked ! what the phrase 'indulging in osculatory ex- ercises' meant. Said she found 1t in 8 novel," Wiggers-"Well, did you tell hera' ! Jiggers-'I didn't know what it meant until
 I looked through the dictionary this morn- morning. ."-Terre Haute Express.
 Schoolmaster's wife-''If your sister comes 1 tomorrow with her children and remains 8 l few days with us we shall have to fry lots of | pancakes and we have neither eggs nor butter
 in the house." Schoolmaster-"Andw we are
 short of money besides. But patience; l have ar idea" (At sehooD-"Children, to-
 morrow I will tell you the beautiful story of Columbus, who discovered America; so each
 of you will have to bring an egg with you to school. If you don't happen to have any 1 eggs in the house little butter will o."- Fliegender Blatter.