The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-04-15
BRIGHT BITS.

WITH pardonabe pride and without being
SIangy, Indianapolis may point to the fact that
she has Ben there with both feet.-OH city Big
gard.
~ BEG your pardon, madame was going by
without speaking; but you looked so charming
to-day that didn't know you. San Francisco
Wasp.
THE Marquis Of Queensberry has written a
dissertation upon marriage and divorce. He
handles the subject without gloves.-Hutclin-
sonNelcS.
A NEGLECTED POLITICIAN in Washington says
he has secured, without appointment, the posi-
ton of surveyor general. "-Mdrtha's ZINE
yard Herald.
OLD WOMAN presents herself at the booking
Office and asks for third class ticket Where
for ~ inquiries the clerk That's my bust
ness p was the repy.-Boston Journal
MAJ. SToFAH-I say, Hawkins, what do you
think of that cigar gave you?
Hawkins (weakly)-I don't think Of it at all.
I'm trying TO forget it Washington Critic.
THE CONSUL TO HAVANA will most likely be
Connecticut man. The taste seems to be for a
Havana with Connecticut filing or Connect
cut wrapper with Havana filing .-Nel0 Orleans
Picayune.
SHE-Why Mr. Hit, l didn't know you were
acquainted with Miss Willis.
He-Yes, am, but only slightly. Ipromised
to be a brother TO her last leap year.-Detroit
Free Press.
EDWARD who has taken his girl to Del's and
given her a $50 dinner We'll, darling, what d ID
you think of Demol 'o's?
Girl think that French waiter has the love
lest eyes l ever saw--EDOch
"GooD GRACIOUS, where have you been?n
asked Mrs BInks of her spouse.
"Excising athletic club calculated Binks.
BAH said Mrs. B. Il suppose that is what
makes your breath so strong, is it notY'-BoS
ton Commercial
STERN FATHER-It is useless, sir, to ask me
for any more help l have done all for you
that l shall ever do. You can go hang yourself
if you choose.
Scapegrace Son (wildly)- Never! III marry
hrst.-ChicdgO Tribune.
SCHOOL TEACHER Grate)-Who fired that spit
ball at meY I'll cane him
Young Kentuckian country boy, six feet flve)
School Teacher Humph! Well-er-er-
| don't do 1t again. Epoch.
PRIVATE SECRETARY-Senator Farwell's card
general. He wants to see you.
| President Harrison-Send him in Lige With
1900 democratic ma ority in Chicago he will
| hardly have the face to ask for offices. 1t will
| be- a real pleasure to see a man who doesn t
want an ofice.-ChicdgO Herald, 900 b
ASPIRING AUrHoR-I have the manuscript of
| a play which would like to submit. FP
| Manager-HaS it a good plot? h'U.
| A A--Good plot? l should say so kWhy--.
| (waxing confidentiaD the plot is SO Intricate
that the audience who sees it once WIN have TO
4
| actly how things turn out.-Epoch.
AT THE OPTICIAN's-C ustomer-E cant see
| with these glasses number twoS.
| Optician-Ah! you are very near-sighted; try
| these. number ones.
Customer trying them on)-Ah l see beau
| tifully, but tell me what will do when l can
| no longer see with these.
| Optican-Alas, my dear sir, you will have to
buy pOodle.-The Epoch.
| Miss BEAcoSsTREET from Bostonl-Oh. Miss
| Lakeside, how lovely your park is in winter
| Why don't you Chicago ladies' come here to
| practice walking on snowshoes?
| Miss Lakesde-None of US girls like it here
| for snowshoeing. The trees are not wide enough
| apart
| ~ see. One of your wide prairies would give
| you freer scope "-TerdS SiftiIi0s.
| A BOY WITH AN EYE TO BUsINEss-Newsboy
| lat Baltimore railway station) is this through
| train from the west?
| Conductor-Yes
Newsboy-Goin' to Washington?
| Conductor-Yes.
Newsboy (entering -Mornin' papers, All
about the Presidents latest appointments
Passengers rising en- masse)-Here, boy
| Chicago Tribune.
SYMPATHIzED WITH NATURE.-Granger-D
thar mus be suthin' left whar we pulled tibet
| tooth for me last week. Its ached ever sence.
Dentist examining the mouth Nothing
there, sir, but vacuum.
How big?"
why, ABOUT the size of tooth, of course"
wal yank 'er out, Doc. l knowed suthin'
was wrong. I've heerd that nacher obhors a
vackeyum, an dinged if blame err f she ever
| got one stuck inter 'er jaw. Time
| A LUCKY DoG.-A-What did your uncle do
| for you in his will?
Bills will was entirely in my favor. I'm in
| luck
Left you all his money, did hep
Not directly. He left all his property to
| charitable Institutions"
Il thought you said you were in luck?r
| 80 | am, All the other heirs are going to
break the will, and they have employed me as
| their lawyer From the German, IN Texas
|