The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1889-01-16
BLUNDERS AT THE ALTAR.
AMUSING HAPPENINGS AT THE MAR
RAGE SERVICE.

o Ceremony from First to Last Is Fun OF
II Pitfalls for tho Unframed The Old
u Folks Made a Mistake.
f Some ludicrous errors committed nv sei.
o tated and absent minded pairs as thew stood
: before the altar are related by preacher in
e Chambers journal,
= timothy Duggan was a stevedore, PERTAINS
SIX feet two in height and proportiouateiv
t broad He appeared as a bridegroom the
r bride was charming young person of tender
: years. All went well until the moment came
l Ior Timothy and his bride to give their troth
10 each other in the prescribed manner.
Say after me-" said to Timothy. "I
Timothy =
mere was no response.
r say after me-" repeated the parson, 81.
, Timothy
Timothy was still silent, puzzled look
creeping over his broad face.
say after me, F" said for the third time
with, perhaps, shade Of annoyance.
After you, sir, responded Timothy. with
the politest possible duck of his bullet head
but this indifference to the rubrio is so
great that upon the injunction, "Place the
ring on the third fnger," have moro than
once seen the bridegroom clap il upon the
third finger of his own hand with all tbecom-
placency In the world Once detected n
orldegroom endeavoring to force the ring on
10 the brides thumb; but there was lust a sus-
picion that he had been making merry before
coming TO church that morning. The same
excuse could not be offered for q bridegroom
from whom could get no word of response,
uoO even sulky Il will" The situation was
becoming most embarrassing, when the sol |
tary bridemaid-hiss ister-casuallvo observed |
les little ard of earring, SIR The man
was stone deaf; yet they had not thoupbtit |
necessary to tell the parson. II the bride. I
groom understood not word of the service |
what did 1t mattera
| TWISTING THE RESPONSES
| But the marriage service from fra to lac.
Is fuli OF pitfalls for the unlearned man. IN
some cases 1t becomes painfully clear that the
contracting parties recognize but few of the
WORDS they are hidden to say, and merely i'm
i1aDe the sound with such accuracy ns Their,
imperfect knowledge will permit. The words
ITO have and to hold" ought to be simnIo
enough but, as a matter of fact, they are the
subjects of some astounding blunders I re-
member one bridegroom who had brought n
very charming young bride to church. and
perhaps regarded her as thing Of beauty to
pe IN MS home joy forever, rendering ito
.''o ana TO mold" as ITO have and behold.
Ahother, VINO possibly had some cause to
dread the fate of Mr.. Caudle, struck ont nm
entireiy new version, and faithfully promised
10 nave and to be told.n ITO love and to
..rn i I ~ announcer frightful stumbling block
TO love and be cherriese was tho nearest 10
the original Of many variations popular
among The males of that parish Tho brides
We're happy with the familiar rendering $50
love cherries and to bay.n Goods holy ordi
aa.eo ripped up many Holy orders" was
Neiiieh1' ana perhaps conveyed tho most
t,'sNs Iish0 Ihee my trothp and "give
S snoo my 'roth were, l imagine, words of
" souna' ana well remember ono
iats PCS VINO was wedding most vii
raa,,t ~. .oo .,. lenow changing her senti-
Tba.. ' n,'o .nere'o give thee my throet.h
Nre4SI.sP r. s.a.
~, /. up IN .naV StppAAMn
ny N3ifs ai}s = plg the delivery Of
we gIilE ~, Is everybody knows, the subject
ot SOME characteristic hlundera / never
beard some OF the moro elaborate distortions
credited to countrymen, but our people pobly
distinguished themselves over tho clause
with all my worldly goods thee epaow.h
They never Numbered SO aptly as the fortune
hunter who, in wedding an heiress, unwit
tlnply said 'with all my coodlv words l thee
endogn they were content to produce n
similar sound with a sublime indifference TO
sense, II thee and thou ~ thee do bowl
~ thee allow.n were the most poDular of
these versions
ctoau c4tr. ron ptaAMv
lint nothing move clearly indicates The inter
Iack of intellgenca with witch some Of Tho
moor regard tbe service Of the church than
The fact thot once mon n time came rnon n
youthful curato solemnly and deyoutly
ynar,yin, ,ho father of q hr,deoroom to tbo
mother Of his bride in the presence of their
ou,n nroner nartners Tho djecovarv ,vas
brought about in this wav. Il was Christmas
morning. a great time for weddings, since
Boxinq dav then remained for the honey.
moon seven or eight couples had given
notice. and the congregation was large
While ono curata registered the couples In
the yestry another married them In
soocesslon with such Axneaitjon as a
slIebt stutter wonid permit. The old
parish clerk. with his list of names,
faled nm ,bo b,oh CONTRACTING norties as the
tum Of eoch came | superintended the
whole nroceedinps In the yestrv vera two
young nsonle beine Registered. whose names
were iet ms saw. Jones and smith. Coming
around 10 the chaneei again ono was a little |
e,,,,nrissS " find The Old clerk inouirinp |
s1,,pnfs tho conoreootion FIR Mr. smith and |
ME- or Mis- ZONES When 1 next hooked In |
a., i;.ot;o,, he ,ad ~, ~ the chan.
cal stane y eeentleman well stricken in wears
~ W 'ssts " T., siaoveJ ,yaistceat Tho
suu "pesoa - oo',,a,,, ,en,,'aa ,vbnso
. muo voc siooros iett bore two n,onstrons
suinou a 80 o. Grnrossed hv an unooufoTt.
~ s,,s,,;oio,, bnrried N TIC vestrv and
49, sopnd tha yo,,no neonle Zones and
S nui Iust na s tha fees
- 4 a MI. n n LII