The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1889-10-27
TOPICS.

STANDARD TOPICS.
A missionary to Siam says that wages
i'm Laos. n state i'm the northern part Of
that country, are from SO to - per month.
The people must he working for sin.
II the most useful mar is the happ;cst
man. n gentleman in Steep Falls, Me-.
must enjoy supreme bliss. Besides keep
ing ~ general store, i'm which he supplies
the Villagers with everything from salera-
tis to gum, from candy tai collins, from
cold sD<la Id wooden stockings. re Ia also
the village BARRIER, sexton. ard gsavestone
manufactures. ard keeps ~ livery stable.
The tables nave been turned on the cold
water advocates i'm northern New York.
Five years ago George III. Kelley of Car
image got down ON his hands and knees
aud drank from IL spring OF cold, limpid
water. He has mot felt very well since nm
til the other day, when with the aid Of "a
powerful emctic he succeeded in ejectiug
from his stomach IL lizard three and one
half inches long.
A Bclicvil'c ,Micb., paper says: IA
large. black animal. about the size of "a
gearing calf. with eyes as large AS tea-
cups aud shining like GOALS Of fire. has
been soaring the life ont OF some of the
citixcns north of here. I'm one instance "a
yodOg man was going 10 the barn In pa.
out his hose when tho animal attacked
him, hut he succeeded in hitting il u smart
blow with the whip and abe beast started
for the woods. leapiu0 over n
fence as easily a. a man would "a small
ditch" IL in high time that Bel'eviise
voted for prohibition.
Although the tests of the vcsuvius have
proved satisfactory. tbers. ave grave doubts
whether the ncw-fangled man-of-war will
prove the dandy that she is expected To
b.. In the first place all the sailors nrt.
as afraid Of her as death, and IL IL CROUCH
to make anybody feel squeamish To be
travelling with two tons Of dynamite OH
board. Anything that c~xplotles by con-
cussion is far more dangerous To have
around than that which blows M only on
the application of u spark. Eut what a
convenient vessel the vesuvius wit he to
the secretary of war. MIR. Tracy never
need have the trouble with n subordinate
that his colleague Mr.. Noble has expcri-
enced with M. Tanuer. Mr.. Tracy can
put all the rrbcIi:o's spirits i'm his depart
mcnt juto vessels Of the vesuvius variety,
send them out to sea and wait fo-dcvclop-
The liars OF the resi- of the country
sometimes grow weary i'm w~elD-dOinv and
the excellence OF their work at such times
is impaired as IA necessary consequence
OF long hours aud ov~ertaxation Of the
brain hat whether ON account of the Pc
culiariiy of her climate. or the perpetual
exhi,aration of certain Of her mauu:ac-
lures, ar other favorable conditions
the nature of which she closely
guards as IL secret from the world-what-
ever he the source CT inspiration, Ken
lucky liars are always i'm superb form,
fresh, vigorous, gigantic. Here In Ken
tucky's last effort: "Early last spring a
turkey hatched IL large brool OF young.
The farnbe: who owned the hen and brood
placed a hell on the mother, and the young
after they ceased to instiuctivciy follow
their feathercd parc.lt, 10y force OF habit
continued to follow the hell. The farmer
observing thist took the bell from the hen.
and when he hoed his tobacco, tied IL
about his own neck. The young turkeys
another. eating .lhc worms from the plants.
They did the work OF five men and saved
the croi,."
A Vienna millionaire has just died .icav-
ing "a request for his only heir tn keep the
family vault lighted with several electric
lamps for one year. but the authorities
having refused the nee cssary permission,
the heir has ordered ~ candle and u box
of parlor matches tai be placed near the
man i'm his coffin in ease he should wake
up from his long sleep. This probably il
the best the heir could do under the cir
cumstances, hut anybody who has tried
getting mp i'm the middle Of the night and
cropping around in tie dark 10 find the
matches aud knocking his shiDs against
the rocking chair, and humping his
head into the stove, and upsettinY his
wife's geranium plants. and MISLEADING
the bookcase door for the bedroom win
dow. Will rroflZe the UNFORTUNATE COMMUNION
of the gentleman when he wakes up and
begins tn PROV, around among the collins,
capsixing all his forefathers' remain and
kicking his Observation-Disclosures skull into
his second cousins lap. and finally. like
Juliet, with hidcous fears d~istrauRht, pluck
the manulcd Tybalt i'm his sh-oud and i'm
this rage with some great kinsn,an's bone
as with u club, dash out his desperate
brains.
The court Of appeals 81 New York state
has just made u most extraordinary dcci-