Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-11-08
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
Very Big Feet In the WesI-The Welcome
to the South Americans-A Case of Fits

Very Big Feet In the Wesl-The Welcome
TO the South Americans-A Case of Fits
and Real Fire Alarm.
THE walking Western missionary has to do
seems to develop his feet abnormally, if one
can judge from the shoes that are to be sent in
a Home Mission box from a church in this
county. The missionary himself requires a
number ten shoe, while three ladies of his FAM
lly call for skies, with D width.
There is no doubt about the ability of these
good people to trample down Satan under their
feet, if they get fair chance.
OUR South American visitors ought to know
how general has been the desire to see them
and to welcome them. Last night the suburban
trains citywards were filed to overfowing with
people who were bent upon getting look at
least at the gentlemen from the Far South, and
he streets down town were as thronged for the
same reason.
1t is probe ble too, that a great many people
were disappointed grievously because the show
in the machinery hall of the Exposition build
ing was not open to the public. There seems
to have been very general misunderstanding
| upon this point. Still the night was such a
pleasant one, the Exposition building all ablaze
with light was such a pretty sight even from
the outside, and the illumination of the Court
House and the natural gas display in the ALLIE
gheny were in them selves so well worth seeing
that those who did not see the Pan-American
Congress land the exposition prepared for
them had very fair compensation for walking
abroad.
A PIrTsBURG doctor was summoned the
other day to attend a man who it was said
suffered from 'tits"-a rather indefinite COM
plant, by the way.
The doctor went to the house-it was in the
lower part of AIlegheny-and found his patient
to be middle-aged man, who was neither more
or less than raving lunatic. The doctor had
no doubt about the case. It was as clear as
could be that the man was out of his mind.
The wife and brother of the unfortunate man
were both in the house and the doctor informed
them of his diagnosis. Neither of them ex-
pressed any surprise and the woman said:
Sure, we knew that doctor, long ago."
"Well," said the doctor, "you must send him
to some asylum"
"Oh, we put him in the lunatic asylum for
three years and it didn't do him any good, poor
DEAR" replied the wife. And talk as he might
the doctor found it impossible to convince
these people that the 'tfits'' were incurable and
that the sufferers only proper destination was
the madhouse.
A CORRESPONDENT informs me that there is,
or has been, a merry little war in ''The Still
Alarm" Company. The beautiful white horses
and the fire engine have nothing to do with it.
Mr.. Harry Lacy, the star and part proprietor of
the play, and his leading lady, Miss Virginia
Harmed, are the combatants. Mr.. Lacy dis
charged her, as he says, because she insisted
that her part was all rot and gave a burlesque
Interpretation to il, as she says, because he
wanted to put his Mrs. Lacy into her shoes.
Nor is this all. for the indignant leading lady
says she has Mr.. Arthur, the other proprietor
of 1.-THE Still Alarm" on her side, and proposes
to make the procession of the fire engine and
the horses as exciting as if they were on their
way to genuine conhagration.