Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-05-11
THE JOLLY JOKERS

w L can view WIN forty Two the at
lition of four new States to the Union.
TOBACCO men object to tobacco
smoke--when it is their own factory
that is on fire.
WHEN you cut into an apple you do
not necessarily cut an apple in two
Yonkers Statesman.
WOMEN, it is said, live longer than
men. This may be true, but of course
they never get so old.
HONESTY is the best policy. The rea-
son we don't hear more about it is prob
ably because it has expired.
WESTERN tourist-Got much stock
on hand ? Ranchman-Nope, got right
smart bunch on foot, though.
HoDBs-Don't you think Quobbs
quite promising writer? Bobbs-I
should say so. Every time he sends
me letter he promises to pay.
\ GLANCE ut the marriage announce
ment columns in the New York news
papers shows that tie-ups are still
prevalent in that city. The clergy en-
courage them, too.
Mr.. GIBBS (meciing his son late at
ni9htJ-Whcrc are You going at this
time of night John? On no good er-
rand I'll warrant. John-No, sir; [
was going to look for YOU.
WILLIAM MERLE SMITH. formerly
pitcher OF the Princeton University
baseball team has delivered his first
sermon a New lo,k pastor. His de-
livery is swift, bit not TuzzlinG.
SHE (sofllv)-I shall never forget
this highland the ball. He (tenderly)
Tell me why. She-And that last
waltz Hc-Iou delight me, She
(more softly than ever)-les, you're
about smashed two OF my toes.
WIFE-Hcre it is o'clock What
have YOU got for an excuse this time
Husband-I was 60 wrestling
match" Wiie-Ycs. that's good |
guess by the looks of your clothing
that the other fellow won every fall.
BoBBY-Say, Mr.. Updyke, what do
you suppose Clara said about Won Just
before YOU came in? Mr.. Updvke-I
haven't an idea the world, Robert.
Bobby (amazc Whew' You've
guessed it. Th,,, just what Ii" said.
How COULD You help that Mrs
Proudly dress for the opera When YOU
hate her so?" asked Maudc, BE.
cause" replied Bessie, Il wanted TO
get a chance to put a pin in her dress
so that it would he sticking her in the
back all evening.
GILHOoLY-It seems to me that there
are fewer marriages than ever before.
wonder what is the cause of ii? Gus
De smith, Young ladies would learn
to stick pin in their apron strings 50
that il wouldn't scratch Il fellow wrist,
there would be more marriages.
De BIGsBY- What makes vou 50
down in the mouth, Riglcy? RigIev
with a long drawn Addition to
fathers family last night. DE Bigsby-
Then why the deuce are you 80 pium :?
Was it boy or 2 girl? Ei&ley -
Neither. Miss Eccusant became my
sister.
"Do Yor see that man going toward
the stairway?" asked one travelling
man of another in the office "f Il hotel.
THAT hig colorcd mnn with the check
cred blouse on? Yes. you might not
think it, but H., i, Il man of q Srea.
leal of polish. WHO is he" He is
the boothack OF the hotel.
SMART wife-Dol't worry, George |
wrote an article for the paper to-day
showing how to get mp Il family dinner
for 81, and [ took il around and tho
editor gave me dollar. Husband
That's rare piece Of good luck. What
are you going to do with the dollar: Il
am going to try that recipe my self and
see if il will work
1ouNG wifc-Arc you the editress OF
the Household Department in the
IIOmd9l'& COmpdItjOH? Mrs. DE Letter
Yes; have had exclusive charge OF
that department for ten wears. Il Gm
so glad we are near neighbors. I'm sure
You won't object if | run in once in a
while for little practical help about
cooking, will you? No, indeed, CONG
in whenever YOU please that Is after
next week My cook is away tcrurnr
arilv. and my husband and are taking
our meals nj Il restaurant.
4 SUGGESTION.
The old maid snt in il"t ro king r!lrjr.
With thimllc, ana scissors. ana thread.
And talked, rs sns 5"wed al her neioaHota
Till the mini .tcr wished I've Nrs dead
But lie sat quite 7rill in :.is patient way.
And beard I'll her acid trlk
While she pouuc.d ON :@is ono. a"i then Oh
Like II vicious "I 'rool: -hr.,b.d hual.
She +ewed, as rle talked in 3. rigorous wav,
Md pulled the throal tirr"Gsi, with Ii Jerk
Tmn hhe tried the scissors, GUt .hov were sc
That she never could iurhc ,l,,m work.
"Thcee" scissors nrc 'lleadluily lUi'," -tij sho,