The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-02-12

Our seIf-Appointed Ambassador
MIR. EDIToR: Please let it be known
that that extract of Tuntey's letter
as published in the Bulletin Of the
9Th inst. not only startled our highly
curious community, but even his
chievous mynah birds on house tops
were twittering to each other the IN
telligence of the successful negotla-
tions entered into with foreign
Powers by our prophet abroad, who
Notwithstanding his professed patrl-
otto pride is yet ashamed to hail
from Honolulu. The secret cleaning
Of one of these inquisitive and indis-
Greet little animals from said diplo-
matte document has further elected
the following philippe:
From whence L shall cross over
to Morocco in order to ask satisfac-
ton at the very throne of the Sultan,
for the insult recently offered to the
Portuguese nation; which offense,
though in the opinion of that gov
eminent seems to be atoned for, by
NIoracco's respectfully saluting Port
ugal's flag, but that cannot satisfy
my personally wounded cosmopolitan
patriotism, wherefore am confident
that my awe-inspiring appearance
will force him into a particular apol-
ogy to myself, as only such L shall
regard as satisfactory. This matter
amicably settled [ shall endeavor to
arrange an expedition for the
, relief of II. NJ. Stanley and Emin
, Bey. in the execution of which L
: shall be offered an opportunity
of demonstrating the feasibility OF
boring artesian wells of my own con
trivance in the Saharan Desert
This task completed L shall ascend
4 in an air balloon, on the construction
I of which I have conformity labored
for many years with the Aeronautl
Q Oe'a Society of Paris, whose honorary
gnqemb her Z ans tlaaEel1V preylqgz 70 81
| At the same time L shall be lodged
! in convenient heights to take stats
tics as to aerial and atmospherica
constitutions and intending to ex
tend my trips to the North and South
Poles respectively, shall be placed
in position to lay before the Para
disc Of the Pacific the long promised
meteorological tables. In proof Of
my confidence in aerial navigation
shall distinctly alight upon the loft
est peak of Switzerland's famous
mountain the Jungfrau - from
whence I shall drop down into the
: valley of Interiaken by means of {
parachute of my particularly ingeni
Gus invention. In Bern [ shall ar
, range with Directors of the Posta
Union Service details as to secur
ing for Hawaii the advantage of {
parcel post; pet scheme of mine
which have ardently advocated fol-
many years. On the strength of my
essay on the Samoan question, which
1 am to write and to deliver before
the Geographical Society of Lon
) don, to which have belonged fol
) years, [ shall proceed to Berlin
IN order to hold political confab
with Bismarck, thereby hoping to
settle forever this obnoxious topic.
In Paris [ expect to find the Ha-
| a
ready to receive me, Herewith con
tirning me in the eyes of the Paris
ians as the Hawaiian Boulanger.
However, [ find that the solutions of
the puzzling Asiatic question, as
other quixotic aspirations of mine,
have to such an extent preyed on my
mind as to make my removal to a
maison de sante most imperative,
from which l hope to be released be-
fore the next political contest in
Hawaii-nei comes off. But as l do
not intend to automatically reign,
ere have got hold of the reins, [
postpone all further expostulations
to a future date which may arise
when l shall have taken my antici-
pated ministerial seat as Premier.
Ta-ta SAVIOUR OF HAWAII.
"P. S. Cause all action in the
matter of fencing Palace Square to
be deferred till it be definitely
settled whether a monument in my
honor shall be erected there and as
to whether l shall be mounted on
horse or mules back. l think the
latter should suit best my nature and
| intellect" TUNTEY.
II