davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A driving trade-Coaching.
An fax" "handle-"Please."
Behind the b'ars-Their tails.
Light-fngered gentry-Pianists.
A poor relation-''A sister to you"
The court reporter-Her small brother.
The great American kicker-The mule.
~ beg your pardon, said the convict
to the Governor.
Eternal vigilance enables man to
carry the same umbrella for years.
1t is no sign that hen meditates harm
to her owner because she lays for him.
When marketing for chickens, always
remember that the good die young.
"Charlie Hankinson was simply wound
up tonight" Il didn't notice it. He
certainly didn't 60"
1t is getting so that a weather-prophet
can't even predict a storm of indignation.
Washington Critic.
He-"What do you think of my poem
to Newfoundland pup9" She-''Excel-
lent doggerel. Time.
A Montana baker always spells dough
ditto, because some one told him that
ditto was the complete form of do.
Time evens up all things. The man
who spent more than he could afford on
his early spring suit is wearing it yet.
"This is my long-wanted feltl" ex-
claimed the tramp gracefully, as the kind
housewife presented him with an old
hat.
When young doctor gets his first case
people are always glad for him, but they
are sorry for the patient Somer0He
Journal.
There is one thing that the invincible
Western cyclone has never yet succeeded
in raising, and that is a MORTGAGE
Burlington Free Press,
The wife who can retain a sure hold
upon her husbands heart will never
have occasion to take a grip on his hair.
-Ieyre Haute Express.
Wife-'I'm sure, now, that you mar
ried me only for my money" Hubby
''lf that's so, then why don't you let me
have it!"-Nc,o York SIN.
- ny VI tHc Nooeai ne Cdlleu ner
when
She tripped over mountains, fields and
glen:
But then-alas for his fancy free
A nymph Of the wouldn't she proved 10 be.
Tutor 0o hereditary prince who is
dropping oil to sleep)-''Yow Highness
is indulging in a little private meditation;
l will break off my lecture for moment"
-PesG HHlap. -
The tenor in fashionable church choir
found TO his horror that his voice all at
once became unpleasantly thick. He
strained it, but without any good effect.
-Nelo Iort IfibaHe.
A minister once excused himself from
filling one Of his regular appointments
on the ground that he had recently re-
turned from his vacation and felt weary.
Adc0cate.
Clerk-'&lr, Daybook, would liLA
leave of absence this afternoon to attend
the funeral Of a cousinln Mr.. Daybook
(neXt mOrning)-"What was the score,
Johng"-Ne1 York Sun.
Teacher-''Now, Betty, can YOU tell
me the meaning Of professorfn Betty
'Oh, yessum. Professors is them as
rides on four horses in the circus aud
goes up in balloons. Time.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

The income of a professional rat
catcher averages $500 per year, an
nounces the Detroit Free Press, and there
are only ten of thehrin the United States.
The average income of lawyers is only
500 per year, and the ranks are over
-..r.....-.lal
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

The Cologne Germany Gazette pub
llished a, column of American census
statistics which justify the prediction
that before the middle of the coming
century the western continent will be
studded with cities of 1000, 900 inhabi-
tants and upward.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

During the Paris Exhibition no less
than sixty-nine international congresses
swill meet in the French metropolis under
Government patronage.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

The colony on Pitcairp's Island in the
South Pacific numbers 100 people, all
related by blood or marriage, and the
amount of money circulating among
them has never been over $50. The one
who gets hold of S2O of this is consid,
cred q millionaire.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

Speaking of the lower classes of Japan,
Mr.. Arthur May Knapp, himself mis-
sionary to the yankees of the Orient, )"
says th& are morally much superior to
the corresponding classes in the United
States
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

The fire losses in the United States
during the first six months of the year
aggregated over $40, 600, 900, against
total loss of but S46, 500, 900 for the
same period last year. In loss of life
nd losses of property through other
agencies the first half of 1889 has been
notable.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

! The New York Herald has discovered
that EnglEh ladies take great deal
more interest in politics than the wives
and daughters of American candidates
dn-
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

Says the Detroit Free Press. 1.-THE
talk of annexing Canada to the United
States continues undated, and in so
friendly spirit that no harm can result"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

b. Thc'Italian murderer of the future has
been done for>by the philanthropists at
last. He is never more to be executed.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

One Chicago ice wagon, driven by a
paiie-faeed and harmless looking young
man, has killed five persons this season,
and it may be observed that the per.
formance is not yet over. Every coro-
ner's jury exonerates the driver and GER
titles that he is very careful and consid-
orata
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

The civil service rules affect nearly
$4,000 officials in the employ of the
United States Government.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

~ The leader of the Soudanese dervishes,
Nad;el-juuii, boldly announces that he
ls set out to conquer the world
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

The making Of leaden soldiers is an in.
dustry centered in Nuremburg aud en-
ploying about eight hundred people. A
long war brought out the toy at the be-
ginning of the eighteenth century, and
artists were employed to make the lead
soldiers faithful representations of regi
ments and countries. And the industry
prospers most in times of war.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

A return shows that no fewer than
twenty persons died from starvation
In London in twelve months.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

In Sweden, Denmark, Bavaria, Baden
and Wurtemburg there is practically no
one who cannot read or write.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

More than O,OOO head of cattle will
be shipped to England this season Of
navigation from Canada.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04
The present permanent population of
Oklahoma is about 10000.

The boundary question between Ecua-
dor and Peru will be settled by con-
ference ut Quito.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

The grizzly bear is Following in the
footsteps of the buffalo and gradually
g@ Nspce. 1t is now only among the
most IN country of the territories
that lrS cahSbe found at all, and he isn't
half as full Of fight as he used to be.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

A large cave has been discovered near
Las Cruces, n. NJ, the interior of which
is lined with veins Of almost pure silver.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-04

81 would starve irst"
GIFlNl,,,, o4,..... fsF
Evening journal., 1889-06-11
NEWSPAPER OPINION.
soIdlers and Penslons.

Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Richmond Despatch and the Chi
cago Tribune are debating as TO the fight
ing value of the Northern and Southern
soldiers. The general impression is that
as both are Americans there Is no differ
ence between them. for when Americans
have 10 fight and are well led they usually
fight valiantly. But when the future
historian consults the records Of the
pension Office he will wonder what deadly
weapons were employed by the armies of
the South. He will discover on the pen
sion rolls more men seriously wounded
than can be found on muster roll Of all
the southern armies fit for service at any
one time. The proportion Of sick and
wounded, taking the records Of the pen
sion office, will appear greater than in
any war in history. Nor will the won
der cease with this exhibit. The pension
rolls will show a marvellous contrast
between the physical vigor of
the men in the two armies.
At the close of the war the Southern
soldier returned to find his home ruined
and his fields devasted. His friends aud
neighbors were scattered, the labor sys.
tenn was overthrown and the commercial
machinery was utterly destro ged In
twenty-five years all this was changed,
chiefly by the old soldiers They threw
all their energies, all their zeal, into the
work first for self support and next for
the upbuilding of their section
No pensions for them; no back pay
no army of claim agents to assist them
to permanent condition of respectable
beggary. Even the manned and those
whose bodies were wasted by disease en-
tered the struggle for existence without
the least expectation of assistance from
any quarter, and as result we see a
work accomplished more marvellous, more
honorable more enduring than any Of
their achievements on the feld So
much for the Southern soldier. Now
turn to the pension rolls for the North
ern armies. One year ago they contained
452, 597, an increase of 5000 over
the year before not less than
half a million persons are now drawing
pensions from the government twenty
five years after the war closed Then
read the appeals for more pensions.
Tanner and his army of raiders declare
that the poor-houses are filled with old
soldiers unable to make living. What
a contrast is this picture Of indigency,
Of pauperism, TO the self reliance, the
industry, the self denial and the success
o. the 81 southern soldier One may well
ask, and that important individual, the
future historian may well doubt, if these
armies were recruited from the same race
of men.
Evening journal., 1889-06-11
HARRlsoN's WEAKNESS.

The determination of the President to
exercise bis personal choice in the selec.
ton Of men to occupy the offices produces
many funny situations and frequently
puts the politicians to confusion. The
President has not great breadth Of Wis
ion nor any too much vigor Of mind. He is
pre-eminently conceited, narrow and in
experienced But he has harsh
Calvanistic idea Of doing the
right thing in sort Of predestined
and fore e-ordained manner which some
times passes for goodness He hews
to that line with rigid Presbyterian ex-
actness careless of consequences, till some
astute and candid politician pulls him In
with sharp turn. Within the last two
weeks he has been put into several tight
places from which he has retired igno-
miniously, but promptly. In the Colonel
Beverly Tucker case he retired with more
haste than dignity. Just now he is
verging TO the other extreme and imag
ines that his suspicious, timidity and
distrustful wariness is an exercise of
calm judgment and wise caution.
Last week party Of well dressed semi
politicians of Baltimore, consisting of
clergymen, bankers, merchants and moss
backed dudes who esteemed themselves
politicians deserving far more considera-
tion than should be given to the politi-
clans of the baser sort, went to Wash
rgton TO advise the President to appoint
Il. n Bankard as naval officer
George w. Wayson, a sleek and we'll
fed doctor was the spokesman for the
heightened delegation The doctors
platoon was marshalled into the library
with long pursed and heavy Drained
pomposity, After fixing his fatuous and
persuasive countenance on the President
the sleek doctor began to pour forth
advice and recommendation The Presi-
dent became impatient az once He told
the delegation that he could not
undertake to remember what they said.
He told them that he had too much too
to do; that he was weary; that his
memory was bad; that they must
write what they had to say and then he
deliberately turned his back and began
to talk TO ex-senator Camden. The Bal
timore heavy weights could not do any
thing but file out and sneak home in dis
gust, with the impression that
after all there are worse men than
Grover Cleveland and there were none
with more patience, with more knovl-
edge Of affairs, and stronger mental
grasp.
No one viii deny that President Harri-
son is an honest man and that he is try
ing to do his duty. At the same time it
is useless to attempt to conceal the fact
that he is man Of limited experience,
without the shadow Of a generous senti
ment, Of meagre mental attainments and
with no more Imagination than a dry
goods clerk. It IS pitiful to observe hi:
feeble efforts to fill the Offices He is toe
suspicious to ask advice and too conceitet
to imagine that he could make a mistake
He is perfectly conscious Of his persona
integrity, but superlatively unconscious
of his mental incapacity.
Evening journal., 1889-06-11

were made for a concert tour with Annie
Louise Carey, and among other cities
Hartford was visited. Here Miss Cary
was unfortunately i'll and could not sing
and the unknown girl had to face
strange and unsympathetic audience. An
awkward apology for Cary's absence was
made by the manager, and the new singer
came forward. Nervous and worried.
her concert was not a success; in fact, it
soon appeared that her years of hard
fighting and struggle had succeeded only
in developing her art in the highest de-
gree, but had worn away the sweetness
and tenderness of tone necessary to sue
cess. The critics intimated as much, and
the proud girl was very hardly hit. Just
here DR.. Gage showed his tenderness and
sympathy. Knowing his love of and
appreciation music, had presented him
to my childhood's friend, and he had
been an interested attendant at the
concert. Next morning he called on
the singer, said the kindest and pleasant
est things about her wondrous cultiva-
tion, congratulated her on her bravery
in singing without Miss Cary, and with
out any falsehoOds whatever, left the
new singer with far happier heart than
he had found her. The beautiful singer
has gone to her rest You are now bury
ing the clergyman in Hartford amid
the tears of his old people and the elo-
quent tributes of his clerical brothers. .-
Henry p. Goddard, in the Hartford
| Times
Evening journal., 1889-06-11
WANANIAKER,s

The best that can be had
low-priced and higher-in
Cricket, Croquet, and all sorts
of sporting gear.
Have you a pet notion about
Tennis? Thtrty.tf0e kinds of
Rackets, and enough of each
SO you can get the precise bal
ance you want.
Basement, northeast of centre.
The Refrigerator that seems
to group most good points is
the one we put frst-the Puri-
tan. Simple, certain, roomy,
sparing of ice, easy to clean,
handsome. What more dc
you want?
Basement, northwest Of centre.
JOHN WANAMAKEB.
Evening journal., 1889-06-11

THE Morning News IS in the position
of virago-the more she scolds the less
influence she has, and the less influence
she has the more she scolds. The Hig-
gins and Buckingham faction are on top
in the Republican party and the Sperry
and Hastings high protective party has
little or no influence. The News went over
to the other faction to defend the forgers
and fraudulent voters, but when dele
gates were chosen for the Dover conven-
tion the News crowd was ignored. Having
no influence in its own party the News
is making a feeble effort to run things in
the Democratic party. The News does
not hesitate to risk ridicule by giving
advice TO all the officers Of the state
from the Governor down. They all con
tinue to do their duty perfectly oblivous
even of the existence of the News
Under these conditions It would seem to
be wise for the News to restrain its petty
and ineffective abuse of Democrats and
try its glorious little reforms on the
members Of its own party. The Repnb
lican party furnishes rank and abun
dant field for reforms.
Evening journal., 1889-06-11
IMPROVING ThE JAIL.
The Levy Court Committee Examines
Plans for Its Enlargement.

The special committee of the Levy
Court on improvements to the Jail, met
at the Court House this morn
ing and examined and dis
cussed plans for engagements
and improvements, prepared by architect
F. r. Carswell The plans provide for
third story on the present building,
which will contain twenty-one new cells.
They also provide for two hospital wards,
for'which the present tramps department,
will be remodeled. The plans arrange for
bath tubs, in which every prisoner can
be washed before going into the
Jail Mr. Carswell was asked TO give
au estimate on the proposed improve
ments according to his plans. On Tues
day next the committee viii visit the Jail
and still further discuss the contemplated
improvements.
A member Of the Levy Court
expressed himself, this morning, as be-
ing strongly in favor of the improve
ments, saying that the overcrowded con
dition of the Jail should have been re-
ieved years ago. He said the jail was
disgracefully old fashioned and ought to
completely modernized.
Evening journal., 1889-06-11
A oCoolIng Dranght. /"

The following is told at the expense Of
the foreman of the composing room at
tached to a certain newspaper office in
town: The foreman purchased some ice
at the request of his wife. and
started home. But the weather was
warm and he stopped at saloon for a
cooling draught. The ice he placed in
the capacious pocket of his light coat
He took one drink, ard then another
and then some more.
For the weather was warm
SO was the ice
The foreman's thoughts We're brought
back the ice by cold sensation on his
leg. The ice had ''wilted' and 'coloing
draught' percolated down his trousers
Then he went home.
Evening journal., 1889-06-11

DURING the hot days of July and
August three Republican missionar-
les will traverse the wilds of the North
west to proclaim the gospel Of protec-
ton. The band will be led by William
Mckinley Of Ohio aud viii include mem
bers Of Congress Burrows, Butterworth
aud Dorsey. The object. of the mission
cries of high taxes for the benefit of the
rich beggars OF the East is to convince
the people Of the Dakotas, Washington
aud Wyoming that their road TO wealth
is through high taxes and decreased
prices of farm produce and OF farming
lands. 1t Is useless to preach that gospel
in New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Connec.
ticut. II does not accord with facts any
more rigidly in the Northwest, but the
gospellers do not hesitate to preach 1t all
the same The Northwest is a new
country and there are no failing mills
and deprecating farm lands to disprove
those assertions. Meantime several
Of the orators are running for the speak
ership and they hope to capture some
votes from the Northwest. There is
narrow Republican majority of three and
the contest for the speakership may pro
duce deadlock. 1t is possible that IT,
Democrats may assist in naming the
speaker and if so they may persuade the
Republicans to compromise on some
other man than the bitter and blatant
Reed Of Maine.
Evening journal., 1889-06-11
Land of Romance.

Half theenchantment Of Italy is gone when
we lose sight of the Mediterranean, says q
correspondent II is along the shore of that
sapphire sea that the romance and the glamor
of Italian landscapes are to be found There
are spots between San Reno and Bordighera,
between Monte Carlo and Nice, which make
the soul ache with their loveliness, saddened
al,nost 70 despair by an ideal beauty which
seems to accentuato the ugliness of life; and
it is only with that sea for the foreground Of
the picture that the light and color of the
south can be felt in all their exquisite variety.
Romu thrills and vibrates with the spectral
past, city Of fountains and phantoma
Florence is a vast repository Of art; Venice
Is dream Of vanished greatness carved in
stone and glorifed with frescoes that are a.
vast and wonderful as any dream; but the
western Riviera is a happy holiday ground
which heaven has left to mankind out OK g
long lost fairy Herald.
Evening journal., 1889-06-11
Children's Dav At Christiana.

Children's Day was appropriately cele
brated In the Christiana NJ +. Church on
Sunday morning The decorations were ex-
tensive and beautiful Seven steps led mp
toa throne on which was a cross of white
flowers Above the throne the phrase
"All for Christ and True Success,
were arranged in flowers. The steps
were covered with evergreen except when
the connecting words interviewed In the
centre Of the steps were the words
Mind, Body, VIII, Conscience, Heart
and Christ, and on the sides were the
words Culture and Service" The ex-
ercises were Interesting
Evening journal., 1889-06-11
An Act OF Kindness.

Many years ago young Connecticut
girl, of rare personal beauty and un-
finehing ambition, finding herself gifted
with musical talent, determined to. make
a career for herself as a professional
singer. It involved years OF struggle and
self-saerifce, including years Of absence
and study under the best masters of
France and Italy. The story Of her brave
life, known TO few, is pathetic in the ex-
IRENE, although she kept name and
....--e GEtagl, Led. st last her MASTER pro-
nonneed her education complete, and she
returned TO America Engagements
Evening journal., 1889-06-11

THE state assessors Of New York have
visited fourteen counties and found that
the values of farming property have de-
creased. This is the case in Pennsylvania,
Ohio and other states where the whole
power of the government has been con
centrated upon the enrichment Of miners
and manufacturers This decrease in the
value Of farming property is an
other proof Of the fallacy and
falsehood Of the proteetionists theory.
They have always claimed that the pro
rective tariff increased the profits of the
mills and mines, diversified the indus
tries and made more customers for the
farmers and raised the prices of produc,
and Of lands. What parts of their claim;
except the increased profits Of the
manufacturer-which were not falls,
were fallacies
Evening journal., 1889-06-11

THE disaster OF Johnstown directs, as
is proper, attention to dams and reser,
voirs They should all have careful and
continuous inspection but there is no
more reason for prohibiting them en-
tirely than there is for prohibiting
bridges, Bridges sometimes break.
Prohibition is one Of the favorits methods
among the ignorant for curing evils.
That is not a cure it is simply shifting
OF evils The crusade that is made in
New York against the Quaker Bridge
dam is an example Of unreasoning prohi
bition. There are few things which i'm
proper use cannot make evils of-dams
like other things. But all dams should
not be condemned because there are
some bad dams.
Evening journal., 1889-06-11

PRESIDENT PATTON of Princeton has
proposed changes in the curriculum of
studies which will increase the number
of elective studies, add many new studies
and shift the old ones in such manner
as to develop the students faculties in a
more logical and more orderly way. The
need Of the young men Of this genera
tion is not so much for a change Of
studies as for change in the manner Of
studying.
Evening journal., 1889-06-11

WHEN Barnum's circus parade went
through the streets Of New Haven the
Yale boys were there. The boys were
numerous and every boy seemed to have
the activity and the magazine Of torpe-
does and ancient eggs equal to six boys.
They threw the torredoes under the feet
OF the Arab horsemen and stampeded the
elephsnfs wifh showers Of ergs and ex-
l,i0siyes. One viephant trieu 10 stan
pede the boys but they returned t.
guy the Noors, who gave themselves
Evening journal., 1889-06-11

Now Carnegie's men fail to appreciate
carnegie's love for the American work
ingman and object to a reduction of
wages The tariff has not been reduced
on steel Carnegie has absolute posses
sion Of the home market" on steel rails
and still he wishes to reduce the wages
of his workingmen. OF course this
would not be questioned il Mr. Carnegie
had not subscribed an immense sum to
the Republican campaign fund to main
tain protection for the benefit Of the
American workingman.