Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1889-03-02
MUTUAL SACRIFICE.
Mr.. and Mrs. McSwat Swears off for Forty
Eight Happy Hours.


"Lobelia, my love, another long and
| delightful evening is before us"
The young husband was arrayed in
a dressing-gown Of gorgeous, variega-
l ted and dazzling complexion. He sat
| in luxurious arm chair and rested his
| tired feet on the soft plush cushions OF
| two other chairs. In his hand he held
a magazine of large print, which he
was trying laboriously to read with the
4 aid of an eye-glass he had purchased
l under the deep and solemn conviction
| that his position in society required
him to use something of the kind.
lis there any thing that | can do
for your comfort, Billiger," tenderly
inquired the young wife.
Il think not, Lobelia," he replied,
l after considering a few moments;
though if you will kindly open that
| package of Lone jack and put the
smoking set within reach l shall be
obliged"
| Mrs. McSwat did so, and with her
| own fair hands she filled his new meer-
| schaum, whose bowl was already taking
on brownish tinge that gave promise
| of richer and grander results in the
happy future.
You don't know. Lobelia (puff),
how gratefully | (puff) appreciate
your (puf) kindness in interposing nc
| objection to my indulgence in (putf,
putf) this habit Hard as would have
been the sacrifice. Lobelia, | (puff)
| would have quit it cheerfully-that is
to say (puff). with comparative cheer
fulness, if you had exacted it.
'tHow could | have asked you to quit
smoking, Billiger," replied the young
| wife, when you have never made the
least objection to my chewing gum?"
Mr. McSwat laid the pipe down and
looked at her in establishment.
do you chew gum, Lobelia?" he
said. Il never suspectedit. "
IL confess | do sometimes. Bill
ger"
'Mrs. McSwat," said he, severely,
"have you any idea of the cOnse-
quences of inveterate gum-chewing?
Do you know any thing of the incon-
ceivably vile materials of which the
stuff is made?"
1T can't be any worse, Mr.. McSwat,
than the poisonous, filthy, reeklng
fumes of that dirty old pipe you
arc"
'Lobelia McSwat. have care! Don't
provoke me too far, Or
''Billiger McSwat, do you dare to
threaten me? Don't glare and squint
at me through that eye-glass till you
have learned how to use it, sir. You
are
'Lobeliarn exclaimed the young hus-
band, pale with conflicting emotions,
"you have spoken sneeringly of this
meerschaum. 1t cost twenty-five dol
lars. But let that pass. | can bear it.
To think, though. that the woman |
have vowed to love and cherish"--and
his voice faltered-"upOn whom have
poured out the treasure of a heart 8
richest affection, is g-gum chew
chewer! O! o. Lo-be-belia.'
''B-Billiger!'' sobbed Lobelia, "Tll
qu-quit ch-chewing if you'll quit smok-
ing"
I'll do it, my love" he exclaimed.
His brow afame with lofty and no.
BILE resolve, Billiger wrapped his smok-
ing set with pipe, tobacco and all, in a
paper, and threw the package to the
remotest depths of a dark and gloomy
attic on the topmOSt floor, while LO-
bella gathered up all her wads of gum
from their various hiding places,
rolled them into a compact bundle,
and threw them into the attic likewise.
with these slight sacrifices, Lo-
belia,n said Billiger, tenderly," we pro-
pitiate the good angels of domestic
bliss and banish forever the demon OF
discord from our hearthstone"'
Forty-eight hours had passed-forty-
eight short, happy hours. Night had
come again.
BiIliger was in that attic. He had
sneaked into it and was fumbling
around noiselcssly for something. In
the dark his hand came in contact with
a shoe and he grasped it. 1t had foot
in it.
There was a faint scream.
"Mrs. MrSwat, is that you?"
"Mr. Mes vat, it is.
"What are you doing here, MADAME"
"Sir, | am looking for my gum.
What are you doing here?"
Madam, am hunting for my pipe"
Chicago Tribune.