davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1889-06-08

Special attention is given tomat-
ters concerning the State and its
welfare, while its local columns
contain all that is of the slightest
interest to Alexandrians.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
THE SHIFTING SURPLUS.

The report that the President intends to
make pocket veto of the direct tax refund
ing bill, arouses considerable comment; and
some of the most singular is furnished by
the journals that are opposed to the bill.
Thus, the generally consistent Philadel-
phia Record says that the bill, if it should
become a law, f'it would put nearly two
millions of dollars to the credit of Pennsyl-
vania; but as this sum is less than that
which Pennsylvania would have to pay to
refill the gap made in the Federal Treasury,
The State in the long run would be loser
rather than a gamer" But the esteemed
Record has for year or two been one of the
most forcible exponents of the indisputable
fact that there is much more money in the
Federal Treasury than is wanted. What
has become of the surplus? Does the Rec
ord intend to have it understood that the
Cleveland administration or its defeat has
caused the surplus to disappear?
Another view on the surplus question is
furnished by the Buffalo Express, which
says: "The loyal States which paid this
tax do not need this money. 1t would be a
curse to them. So let it remain with the
other Treasury accumulations. This seems
to indicate that the surplus has shifted to
the State treasures and to argue novel
prosperity among the Commonwealths. 1t
is certain that the National Treasury does
not need the money; and if the State Gov
ernments are the equitable owners, they
will probably consent to perform their duty
by taking it.
As the bill simply proposes to dispose of a
tax, which some States paid and others did
not, by putting them all on an even footing,
it would certainly seem discreet if there are
any reasons against it, other than purely sec
tional ones, to have the President set them
forth in veto message.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
MEN AND WOMEN.

JOHN RUsKIN is still in a precarious condi-
ton. He attempts no work whatever.
MRS. INGALLS, is considered a handsome
woman, and her daughter is one of the most
charming girls at Washington.
PREsIDENT-ELECT HARRISON has had to
let up on his smoking. He has been in the
habit of late of Smoking from 10 to II cigars a
day, but his nerves could not stand the strain.
LORD TENNYsoN writes as follows to the
Critic: 81 thank you for asking me to be among
the numberless number of those who greet Mr..
Lowell on his SEVENTEEN birthday. wish that
had seen more of him while he was among us.
|. All blessings be upon him and upon his coun-
try"
ROSE ELIZABETH CLEVELAND is living quiz
city in a cottage in Florida, surrounded by an
orange grove. She rises early in the morning,
takes short walk, breakfasts and then devotes
four hours to literary work. Her forthcoming
novel will give expression in roundabout way
to her religious views.
FREDERICK W. SEWARD, son of President
Lincoln's Secretary of State, lives quietly with
his family at Montrose-on-the-H Hudson. His
country seat is one of the most charming on
the Hudson banks, and is the pride of the
owner. Since his retirement from political life
Mr.. Seward seems to have dropped completely
out of sight. He would have 1t so.
JOHN W. NOBLE, of st. Louis, NO., who is on
the latest Cabinet slate, looks good deal like
George Francis Train. He has the same kind
of curling gray hair, the same little tuft Of
chin whiskers and much the same bearing. No
BILE is, however, somewhat heavier than Train
and more reserved in manner. He is a men,
Der of the law firm of Noble & Orrick, promi-
nent in ST. Louis, and would probably lose
money by accepting Cabinet portfolio. He is
a lover of good dinners. good stories and good
fellows
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
THE CLASS IDEA.

The idea of injecting the interests of a
class into question Of public importance
resppears from the West. In Missouri,
where the question of legislative reduction
of passenger rates is under debate, it is
argued, professedly on behalf of the Brother
hood of Locomotive Engineers, that any
considerable reduction of passenger rates
would lead to the discharge of many rail-
way employees, and general lessening. of
wages. The DISPATCH has fully urged
the error and crudity of all attempts to
legislate restriction of the price of any
service or commodity; so that it will not be
misunderstood in pointing out that such an
argument is bad in its statement of fact,
worse in its application. A reduction of
passenger rates does not generally have the
effect of causing people to travel less, and
so Just as many employees would be needed,
unless the railroads went out of business.
In that case the injury to employees would
be no greater than the injury to the whole
community. 1t is time for people to learn
to discuss public questions in the interest
of the entire public, and not of limited
classes.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
WHAT WILD WITS ARE SAYING.

What horse did Lady Macbeth ride be-
fore she bade fond adieu to her wicked husbandp
The nightmare. Saturday Gazette.
The Family Autocrat. - Merritt - You
don't seem to mind what your mother says.
Little Johnnie-No; but dad does.-EUentn0
Sun.
Bald-headed man to barber-Hair cut,
please.
Barber-Yes. sir. Have you got 1t with your
Boston Beacon.
Bessie-Mamma, will there be any dogs
in heaven?
Mamma-Nonsense, child!-of course not.
Bessie-Not even Skye terriers, mamma?-To-
Ledo Blade.
Miss Lovelorn-The professor says have
the inventive genius.
Miss Caustique-Perhaps you misunderstand
him. No doubt he meant you were full OF new
wrinkles.-EUentng Sun.
Giddings-That young Smithy that got
married the other day is mighty nice fellow.
Peyton-Don't know. Saw him treating his
wife the other day I wouldn't treat my dog.
Giddings (excitedly)-Is it possibleS And she
SO lovelyI What was he doing to her?
Peyton (calmly)-Kissing her. L wouldn't kiss
my dog.-Sdn Francisco Examiner.
Touche (airily)-What! working, old
man? I'm just off for the dog show.
ing for?
Touche (augrily)-Well, sir, Pm not entered in
the puppy list, at any rate.
Bilious (promptly) Thanks. awfully. That
gives my pup a walkover.-7Ns'o f0rk Herald.
A Limit to His Ambition.-Female
Friend-Young Smithers. who is paying you at
tentions, is one of the most promising young men
in this city.
Miss Lively-Yes, know him.
Female Friend-He is ambitious, too. He Is
man who will always aim higher than the mark.
Miss LfveIy-Aim higher than the mark? Well,
I don't know about that. He has never kissed
me on the nose yet.-Tszas SVttn0s.
Husband (kindly)-My dear, you have
nothing decent to wear, have you?
Wife with slaerity)-No, indeed, haven't; not
a thing. I'D be ashamed TO be seen anywhere.
My very newest party dress has been worn three
times already.
Husband Yes; that's just what told Blifklns
when he offered me two s. tickets for the opera to-
night for %. knewif took them they'd only
be wasted. So just got one. Well, must hurry.
Philadelphia Record.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25

Saltus, to whom we have already referred,
owes whatever reputation he has to cyni-
cal audac1ty in conceiving unmentionable
plots and presenting them with the
art that has never been before seen outside
of the French school. This is perhaps the
highest specimen of the native class, COM
bining little of the power of Balsac. with
out his magnificent breadth of conception.
with the terrible cynicism Of Daudet and
Cherbuliez; but as we go down the scale,
Amelie Rives and the lesser lights of the
day profess the passion rather than the
sense or morality of life. The extent of this
vicious tendency appears from the fact that
an editorially outspoken newspaper the
other day called attention to the fact that
novel was published, advertising itself in the
title as "a Disreputable Story" Whether
this is reprobated as false pretenses is not
absolutely clear; but it seems probable by
the fact that the paper reproving it is pub
fishing serial story, based on the life OF
Prado, in which the hero has two illicit love
affairs in each chapter, and in each chapter
winds them up by killing one of his mis-
tresses and running away from the other.
Are the manufacturers of such stuff right
in thinking that the public demands it?
The trouble is not so much in the public de-
mand as it is in the dearth of brains to sup
ply higher and purer class of literature.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
Declined With Thanks.

Senator Stanford will have an opportunity to
see the inaugural procession from the windows
of his own house, as the line of march is along
K street. Recently Senator Stanford's clerk
went to hotel to engage rooms for some
friends. AS he was departing the proprietor of
the house asked some one to whom he spoke
who he was. He was told. That evening there
appeared in one of the daily papers the an
nouncement that Senator Stanford had en-
gagged suite of rooms in this hotel, agreeing
to pay $500 for them. The evening of the pub
lication Senator Stanford was overwhelmed
with offers of rooms all along the line of march.
They were of all characters and all prices. 1t
did not seem to occur to any of the owners
that if Mr.. Sanford had engaged rooms he
would probably not wish to engage any more.
The climax was reached when a message was
received over the telephone wire from local
benevolent organization to the effect that Sem
ator Stanford could rent most desirable hall,
with four windows on the avenue, at very
reasonable figure; that there was every facility
for enjoyment, including dumb waiter con-
Meeting with saloon down stairs, and that the
carpet in the hall would be taken up for
dancing. The offer was declined with thanks
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
TAKE 1T WITH SALT,

A rather good story is told by our Harris
burg correspondent as coming from politi-
cal worker, about how a man went into a
certain campaign in the interest of purity
and reform, and was presently found strik-
ing the candidate for more money than the
regular and professed strikers wanted. If
the story is strictly based on fact it only
shows that there are hypocrites and Phari-
sees in politics as there are in every other
department OF effort; and does not one whit
detract from the necessity of real purity.
But the fact that the story is told for the
purpose of creating the idea that the men
who object to money in politics are the
worst of the lot, renders it necessary to treat
with reserve the rather large draft upon the
public credulity that it makes. When it is
alleged that any Pecksnifian amateur can
bleed candidate worse than the profes-
sional heeler, we must beg leave to season
the assertion with considerable salt before
it is swallowed.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
THE CAUCUS IDEA.

A rather remarkable and instructive ex-
ample of the way in which the view of
things is changed by the standpoint, is
furnished by some comments in the wide
awake Chicago NeWs on Mr.. Randall's
course with regard to revenue legislation.
The Ne1oS enumerates among Mr.. Randall's
sins that ''he has declared that he will abide
by no caucus agreement concerning tariff
legislation" This can hardly fail to re-
mind the readers of that journal that it has
been one of the keenest critics of the super
stition that men must be, bound by the rule
of a caucus to vote for measures which they
do not approve. But when the measure is
one of which the NeaoS approves, il looks
as if it thinks the caucus fetish must be
worshiped.
The illustration works the other way as
well. There are many Republicans and
high tariff men who have strenuously main
tanned that obedience to the caucus is an es-
sential of party organization. The warmest
advocates of this idea in the protection
ranks are among the most ardent admirers
of Mr.. Randall's break away from the Dem
ocratlc caucus. The caucus which they
wish to make absolute is the caucus which
does as they wish; but the other caucus can
be smashed without sacrilege, in their esti-
nation.
This seems to make the estimate of the
caucus about equal, whether it comes from
independent or strictly partisan sources.
The caucus that suits our view must be
obeyed; but when it agrees with our views
to smash it, let it be smashed.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
THEY NEED NEVER BURST.
How to Keep Water-P Pipes From Freezing
in the Coldest Weather.

1O" 10 heep EIpes rum EEeeZluB
in the COldest Weather.
From the st. Louis Post Dispatch.I
''Now that cold weather has set in" said a
plumber in conversation with a hotel manager
this morning, 81 expect that there will be a
great many frozen pipes, and that great deal
of damage will be done in consequence. If
people only knew it there is no necessity for
pipes ever freezing. The habit that some have
of letting the water run slowly all night does
well enough, but is by no means a sure preven-
tive. At an exposed angle little ice may ac-
cumulate, which soon closes the pipe, the
water fills it below the obstacle and break
occurs. Turning off the water in the basement
is an absolutely sure preventive, if properly
done. But as too often managed this method
invites a burst, and very large proportion of
broken pipes are due to ignorance in this re-
spect.
OF course there can be no freezing when the
pipes are empty, but nearly everyone turns the
water on with full force in the morning. The
pipes are of course cold, and so is the water,
and as soon as it enters the pipe with a full
head it is likely to freeze in an instant, and not
at single point, as is the case when the water
stands, but throughout the entire length of the
pipe, splitting it from top to bottom. To avoid
this a thin stream should first be admitted, and
then the full head turned on five or 10 minutes
later By observing this precaution a break
will be rendered practically impossible"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
A PERTINENT SUGGESTION.

A very pertinent suggestion is inspired
by the Beard of the Exposition in our local
columns, in reference to the taking of life
memberships by young people.
In limited sense there would be an ad-
vantage to the Exposition in having its life
members mainly of advanced age, as in the
course of time these memberships would ex-
pire by their death. But there is broader
view to take of it than that, which is sug-
gested by the board.
The future management of this public
enterprise will lie in the hands of the young
er men of to-day. 1t is well fot the Exposi-
ton to have them interested in it; and it is
well for them to become partners of the en-
terprise in its inception. The suggestion
that the life memberships should be placed
among young men is sound one.
1t will be wise for the future business men
of Pittsburg to identify themselves with the
future exponent of its enterprise and growth.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
BLAINE ENJOYED THE JOKE.
Spirits, Under Herrmann's Guidance, Make
Very Amusing Prediction.

Sp1rltss Under derrmann's Uuluances uIako
Very Amusing Prediction.
WASHINGTON, February A-The Hon. G..
c. Spellman, of Springfield, Democrat. ex-
State Senator, sleight-of-hand performer and
good fellow, is at Willard's with Mrs. Spell
man. Spellman has most engaging mustache
and imperial. These hirsute adornments, in
fact, resemble those of the great Hermann.
The other night the magician had in one of the
boxes at the National Theater so distinguished
a spectator as James G. Blaine. He saw the
future Secretary of State and his nerve failed
him. But Spellman was in the audience.
Hermann knew him; he knew him by the
model of his whiskers; he knew him by the
reputation for legerdemain made in the Massa-
chusetts Legislature under the Speakership of
the Hon. c. ]. Moves and the railroad commit
tee incumbency of jimmy Donovan, then a
plain representative. Hermann beckoned
Spellman to the stage for the almost super
human exhibition of quiet nerve and dexterity.
The audience didn't see the lightning change.
The Springfield man was equal to the occasion.
He deposited his plug hat on neighboring
table, rolled up his sleeves so that all might be
perfectly fair, and said:
James G. Blaine, if you are in the cabinet
give three knocksr'
The house roared. Mr.. Blaine smiled and
enjoyed it. After the performance he went
behind the scenes to shake the hand of Spell
man,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
THE MONROE DOCTRINE M1sAPPIIED.

The minority report In the House sup
ports the Edmunds resolution on the Pana-
ma canal, with an argument which is essen
TALLY the usual argument in favor of warn
irg off France. Nevertheless the majority
report is nearer right; and some of the
reasons for thinking so can be briefly
stated
In the first place, the Monroe doctrine was
protest solely against the re-establishment
of European royalties in America. 1t was
inspired by Canning and was the foundation
of his boast that he had called in the New
World to redress the balance of the Old. I"
That it was never intended to prevent for
eign governments interesting themselves in
works of civilization to aid commerce, ap-
pears with tolerable force from the fact that
since its enunciation the Canadian canals
have been built by English Governmental
influence, without any protest from this
country, and with advantageous results
to it.
Next, it is not the part of wisdom to bite
off more than we can chew, in the way Of
warning European powers to keep away
from spots to which they may take fancy.
1t is especially unwise to do this to power
which might be useful and friendly to us.
1t would be very unfortunate if we should
wipe the French navy off the ocean, in order
to keep it away from Panama, and then find
that we needed it in order to keep the Ger
man navy away from Samoa
Finally, it is not necessary to give France
slap in the face by ordering her not to do
what at present she shows no signs of doing.
One of the most probable results of such
of course would be to put it into the French
mind that the honor of France requires her
la do
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25

1t is asserted that pigs have no brains, on
the strength of an Investigation which some
people in New Jersey made by post NOR
TEN examination of a porker whose cranial
cavity was discovered to be empty. But
before extending this damaging generaliza-
tion to the whole porcine race, it should be
remembered that this was New Jersey
hog. From the political manifestations in
which the human population have INDUCED,
it would be manifestiy unjust to expect the
New Jersey pigs to have any brains.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
LITERARY VICES.

Two features of modern literary effort,
which appear to be thought essential to sue
cess, deserve little notice. The least i'm
portant is that of shrouding the meaning of
a sentence in extremely recondite language.
Edgar Saltus' heroine, with ''eyes of iserine
hue" and his hero, with his optics ''of that
eburnean hue which is noticeable in dysodile
coal" impresses the average novel reader
with the immense knowledge of the writer;
but it does not convey any distinct impress
sion to the average reader. Ithardly seems
too much to say that there is no intention of
clear and perspicuous information in such
phrases.
The other feature is the tendency of the
current producers of light literature toward
the goal Of surprising the efforts of Daudet,
if not of Zola, in actual prurience. Edgar
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
johnson Turned Up.

Twas chatting the other night with we'll
known offic er on the retired list of the navy
about the odd way in which old friends will
turn up, and he related what is a unique ex-
perience in that line.
my wife had been very much annoyed" he
said, "by some boys who insisted on ringing the
doorbell of my house on All Halloween. I
came home rather late in the evening to find
the whole house topsey-turvey. When learned
the cause of the trouble, was exceedingly
angry, and proceeded to lay tor those boys.
1 concealed myself in the shadow of the house,
and waited for some time, but the boys did not
come. Then stepped out into the middle of
the street and started toward the corner look
ing for them. 1t was not long before came
upon the crowd. They were of all ages, ranging
from Is years down. 1 grabbed the oldest boy
and wanted to know want he meant by ringing
the bell and annoying my wife. OF course he
said be hadn't touched my bell. You're liar,
said !, and am going to teach you not to ring
him. He yelled murder, and his companions
ran in every direction. The warming process
had continued in operation for some minutes,
when woman came,out of an adjoining house,
and, running over to the spot where we stood,
told me to let the boy alone
"'Have you any interest In the boy, madameP
"'He is my son. she replied.
" Then you ought to have done this to him
long ago. said l. and whack, whack went the
palm of my right hand.
"'You're BRUTE said the woman, and 1
shall send my husband to you
p" wish that you would, madame replied,
as my right hand kept up the rhythmic meas
ure. You send him to me here or you send
him to my house hereafter and I'll give him
good licking for bringing boy up in this way
I'VE had quite little audience by this time,
and one man who had come up to see what the
row was about said, Leave that boy alone.
Why don't you hit a man%
Il brought down my hand once more for luck
and then letting the boy escape reached for
the strangers collar as l said: Perhaps you'd
like to be the man? He drew away and put
his hand behind him. did not know whether
he had a revolver or not, but knew that had
one, and before he could have drawn had it
down on him. Don't you dare said
"'Are you Lieutenant -? he said as he
looked down the cold muzzle of that revolver
"T am replied. What of it?'
why I'm Johnson said he.
THAT doesn't convey any impression to my
mind said l.
81 was In your class at the naval academy
said he.
"Come up to my house johnson, and have a
drink said /, and he came up to my house and
drank until he was very full. We had not seen
each other for Is years. If anyone can match
that meeting want to hear from him."
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-02-25
BEDS FOR EVERYBODY.
New Industry That Has Been Doomed by
the Inauguration.


the Inauguration.
From the Washington Critic.1
A new industry has been started in Wash
ington during the past week. At least it is
new is a certain sense, for it is only every four
years that it is carried on to any extent. 1t is
a mattress manufactory, and is doing rushing
business. Men, women and children are max
ing an entire mattress for cents.
~ have now nearly 1000 mattresses on hand" 1"
said the proprietor, 'and 1 expect to make 20,
900 more before the 4th of March. The de-
mand is something enormous. 1t seems that
everybody in Washington is going to accom-
modate a dozen or more visitors, and many
of my orders are from private residences
The larger class, however, come from people
who have rented halls or vacant lofts am
going into it myself. You see, by the time
the crowd commences to come this business
will be all through with, and am going to fix
the place up for dodgers. have an order here
from one of the leading hotels for 300 mat
tresses. They are going to clear their dining
room after 9 o'clock every night and pack the
surplus guests on the floor like sardines in a
box. Yes, indeed, you can depend upon it,
there's going to be great hustle after the
almighty dollar about the 4th of March,"