Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-08
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
A Slip of the Foot Is Dangerous Thing to
n Dancer-Ths True History Of How
Ode Thanksgiving Dinner Fen in the

Dancer-Tho True History OF How
Ode Thanksgiving Dinner Fen in the
Soup.
CHUBBY and graceful Fraulein Clara Qualitz
lost her balance in one Of those whirling spins
! she is so fond Of yesterday afternoon. 1t was
at the matinee performance of "Bluebeard,"
and Qualitz, in her character of an ostrich
was ever there sprinter Of the desert SO
plumpf-appeared TO take part in the grand
ballet advertisement She started out TO swing
around the stage inclining toward its center;
and, as she reached the top Of the stage, she
lost her balance and fell Apparently she sus-
tanned no hurt and she finished her pas seuL
with her remarkable smile undim1nished. 1t is
curious how Qualitz always can command that
smile, which shows her regular teeth 50 well
and makes her hardest work seem child's play
to her audience.
Once they say QuRlitz bumped into a cory
phee, and their two heads came together with
. prodikious crack. Qualitz smiled sweetly and
murmured an apology, but the ballet girl cried,
as well she might. for the blow was hard one,
Qualitz was asked why she did not cry, and she
said: II cry3 Before the audience2 No, no,
always smile"
BUT Cd not refer to the mishap of q
premiere danse1Ise to get chance TO enlarge
upon her smile. What I wanted to ask my
ballet now and again-is. whether they ever
realize what dangerous thing it is to execute
a pas seuL upon crowded stage3
Thatvery movementin which Fraulein Qualitz
stumbled yesterday is one OF the most difficult
and dangerous . premiere executes. Whirling
around stage at headlong gait, the faster
the better, the louder the applause, the dancer
runs the risk Of colliding with other people,
the wings and the proscenium arch. Some ten
years ago 1 saw a dancer, unable to stop her
self at the right moment, fall upon the foot
lights, and she was carried from the stage
mass of flames. A bit Of wood, chance nail,
morsel of tin or tinsel from the trappings of
the ballet any one Of these may trip the
premiere as she pirouettes on her toe points,
with her eyes toward the gods and her mind
thinking of naught but the cadence of the
music and the intricate steps before her.
Two or three days ago in Missouri lumber
camp one man chopped another to pieces with
an az for impugning his ability as a cook He
was the cook of the camp, and he could not
allow sneers at his culinary capabilities to pass
unremarked.
A tragedy somewhat like the above, only q
little more humorous and o trife less chastity
occurred in a Pittsburg household q few days
ago. The day before Thanksgiving the late
dinner TO which the family sat down was a
modest little affair. as dinners are apt to be on
the eve Of festival. But its modesty shrunk
out Of sight behind the atrocious cooking Of
the meal. The soup was smoked and very
greasy-0 think of that, soups new-found proph-
etess Miss Marion Harlandi-the beefsteak
was mysteriously blistered in some places and
raw in others, as il Il had been allowed to fall
into the fire several times and often rescued;
the vegetables were swimming for their lives
In tepid water, and everything that came to the
table showed signs OF having passed through a |
terrible ordeal in the kitchen.
You know q family win make remarks about |
meal that is served in this fashion. Some of !
the younger members Of the circle were ex- |
tremely sarcastic. The girl who waited at the |
table reported these illusions to the cook as |
soon Is possible; and there was sound Of |
loud talking below stairs all the evening. But |
nobody thought anything Of that; 1t had oc- |
CURED before. There was no other warning OF |
the impending disaster given to the devoted |
family
As materfamilias descended the stairs the /
next morning, and made her way to the dining |
room-in how many families the mother is the |
goodly example in early risingl-a savory, and |
yet somewhat peculiar odor saIuted her nos.
trils. So. instead of entering the dining room,
she passed on downstairs to the kitchen. The /
maid. whose appearance was enough TO scare
anybody out of years healthy growth.
'JaneF' said the lady of the house sternIy
"Janel what is the matterf Where's Mary2"
Mary was the cook.
"I dunno, num- said Jane; Sshe've gone and |
took her trunkF'
Then the inquisitor observed that q large
was resting on the kitchen range,
and that the fumes she had smelt upstairs were
rising from it
whats cooking there?" she asked.
"I dunno" replied Jane; MARY have gone
With her trunkr'
Then an investigation took place. Jane re-
helped her mistress probe the mystery
n the wash-boiler. I'm afraid she knew pretty
we'll what would be discovered. Well, it wasn't
he youngest member of the family--a small
but energetic 3-year-oId to whom his mothers
thoughts had turned with an unreasonable fore
ooding more than once during that awful
quarter Of an hour.
They took out a l4-pound turkey, a large roast
If beef, half sack of potatoes, some salt cod
ish, and pair of chickens. These were the
arge items; but that boiler was found to con-
ain in halfstewed state virtually the whole
If well-stocked larder. Who had made such
. tremendous stew? Mary, the cook A bottle
If whisky and the remarks at the dinper table
ihe night before, had nerved her to this ex-
Iuisite stroke of revenge. She had put the
dinner Of her oppressors, as she
.alled them, in the soup!