The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1889-12-13

E2k@.K would furnish
- amusing material
"@ for q short essay.
l am safe from the fear of offending
any of my masculine readers, since, Of
course, no resemblance could exist be-
tween any of them and the unpoetic,
unpleasant ones among these types.
There is the elderly widower, who is
inconsolable for the loss of his first
companion, though patiently looking
about for his second one.
The man with q homely wife who is
desperately jealous of her.
The homely man whose pretty wife
is desperately jealous of him.
The deeply scientific man. who re-
CARDS all women rs poor, perishing
packages of protoplasm. This person
can analyze all the poetry out of June
moonlight, or the perfume and senti-
ment out of white roses.
The playful and portly individual
who always insists upon telling you a
little story that is trifie "broad" "you
know, ha, ha." This party is apt to
grow familiar upon brief acquaintance,
unless you freeze him by briefest mon
o%syllables; yet, after all, he is a harm
less creature, generally extremely tire
some.
An imposing type is the extremely
moral and financially sound p~uritanical
individual, whose very broadcloth
would culver with righteous horror if
he was obliged to talk an hour with a
frivolous female. This kind of a man
would look at you, should you say
Good morning" to him in q careless,
~light-hearted way, rs though you were
Intriguing to capture him for some ter
rible purpose. He is always ION
guard"
Then there is the neglected genus,
with p%antaloons frayed at the bottoms.
whose wife does not appreciate him at
all, but who still loves her entirely out
Of the fullness of Iris big, chivairous
heart, Us he takes pains to tell YOU, for
You might become hopelessly interest
ed in him otherwise, and he only seeks
in you n kindo intellectual companion,
which really means that he wants the
right to bore you with his stupid liter
airy %effusions, and, should his wife be
an invalid, by long accounts of her diff
ferent ailments. This creature is one
of the most naively selfish of beings; he
ends his acquaintance with you by COM
promising you i'll the eyes of the one
man in all the world for whose good
opinion you care most, and finally quar-
rels with you because YOU do not fol-
low his advice in choosing your friends.
Another variety, about as unpleasant
as the n first described, is the old
man, the very old man with grown-up
children, who talks continually about
my SOL John and my darter jane"
He is a widower, and extremely mod
est in his ambition, only desiring a
wife who shall be young, good-looking,
Saving" and q good nurse, for he is
laid up with rheumatism two-thirds of
the time; and she must have a snug
little property" in her own right, so
that son john and "darter" Jane may
not forbid the banns. This pleasing
mass of egotistical imbecility ought to
he confined in IN asylum for elderly
idiots.
Then We have seen the matter.of-
fact, quiet man, who is apt, upon occa-
zion, to surprise You by giving evil
aence OF latent chivalrousness and fine
ness of sentiment. His opposite type
is often seen-the picturesque and
posing man, who is extremely coarse
and selfish; the man who is liked bet
ter by women than by men, the man
who is a great favorite with men; the
pale, sad-looking young man, who cap
tivates the fancy by his mysterious
silence. When yon break through the
crust Of melancholy reserve, you find
that his mental faculties are engaged
q large part of the time in wrestling
with the problems of what he shall
have for his dinner, the residue of his
leisure being employed in first obtain.
ing the price of his dinner.
Men as f~ictionists.
The romantic liar, with entertain
ing story of his adventure.
Men as gossips.
The superannuated masher, with
bald plate like polished gourd, and
brains as triiing as its rafting seeds.
He stands at street and 1eers
at feminine ~passers-by.
These are a few of the more ommon
types of masculinitv. To look at the
brighter portions of this picture is far
pleasanter for one who would fain
idealize and revere, rather than de-
tract from or sneer at.
There is one character very seldom
met with and not to be forgotten even
when it is found-the typical Ameri-
can man. I say MAN advisedly. be.
cause the typical American man is al
ways a gentleman also. If cultured in
the worlds ways and versed in bookish
lore, still will a certain breezy
strength, a wholesome good sense, and
fine humor, keep him from al ~affecta-
tion or too great leaning toward the
s.ybaritic side of life. If only q back
woodsman, u%nschooled by art, yet will
nature have taught him her own har-
monious and calm propriety of aspect.
She will have given him q spirit of true
chivalrOusness toward women, a sense
of quiet ~self-respect. and a native deli.
cacy and tact which, if one is to Judge
by living examples, no court has vet
been able to impart.
Yet to have been born in this country
can never make a man the typical
American, o yet to have descended
from those voyagers in the Mayflower.;
The typical American is a rare creature.
1t is hard to describe him, but you al
ways know him when You see him.
In the meantime let us strive to he
just to the average human being, not
yet developed up to the heroic charac.
ter of the poets dream, tits true, vet
with much more of nobility about him
than circumstances ever bring ont.
Let US even (sllegorically speskinel
trick him ont with tha h;0h.h o.InS