The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-06-05
Press Notes.

line of slippers it's hard to beat banana
skins.-Troy (N. " Times.
WHEREVER the mournful mugwump sits
nowadays there is the end of the table where
the soup is served philadelphia Press.
IT was the woman who saw the first
snake, but since then the men have at
tended to that sort of thing Hours
Miss FRANCES Il. WILLARD observes that
constitutional prohibition is in the air. She
doesn't give its exact altitude. - Boston
Herald
A VERY interesting sight is to watch
minister try to open a car window The
dramatic effect comes from what he doesn't
say.-Life.
In commercial circles they have what are
called cast iron notes. 1t seems as though
1T would be hard to forge Them Huntington
Republican.
THE average size of an American family,
according to statistics, is Alb. The fraction
probably stands for the old man.-Terre
HdUte ErpreSS
II these persistent advocates of the hustle
had been in charge when the human form
divine was made they would have turned
out something in the camel way.-New York
Herald.
THE paths of the clergyman, the justice of
the peace and the cucumber are widely di-
verging, but they all join hands when it
comes to doubling up humanity
Breeze.
IT is predicted that the transatlantic
steamer of the near future will be able easily
to accomplish twenty-five knots an hour.
This will be knotty, but nice. - Boston
Transcript.
A ST.. LOUIS man named Pye has left a
large estate to numerous heirs. 1t is hoped
they will not quarrel over the will, if
only for the eternal peace of Pye-Roch-
ester Post Express.
THE republican candidates for governor
in Ohio are talking of forming two baseball
teams. In Iowa it is suggested that they
form themselves into a military company
DeS Hoines Leader
SUNDAY SCHOOL teacher owe are told
here that the prophet rent his clothes
Why did he do that?" Tommy Sauildig:
Pr'aps he couldn't afford to buy 'em. y
PutSburg Chronicle.
WHEN man slips on a banana-sl1in the
first thing he does is to look back to see
what it was. The first thing that woman
does is to look around to see if any one saw
her. NeU York Herald.
IT is easy enough to bring up child in
the right way. All you have to do is to
watch the way in which most people bring
up their children and then do something
else.-SomeryHle Journal
1T is estimated that some women carry
forty or fifty miles of hair about on their
heads. Forty or fifty miles without
switch is a good long distance for an air
iine.-Ldwrence (MdSS) american.
GIVEN whiskey enough the average In
dian will drink himself to death in three
months. 1t is to be hoped that the govern
ment will pursue spirited policy toward
the average Indian.-Chicogo Mail.
THERE is a sudden demand on the part of
the democratic press for one-cent postage
Why, no man knows. The decrease would
not benefit party made up of people who
do not write letters. Indianapolis Journal.
AN agricultural paper says " If cattle
have their hair rubbed off, showing little
patches of the skin, rub on little sulphur
an old hair trunk up in the attic and it
never helped it bit.-Burdette, IN Brooklyn
Eagle.
IT used to give great pleasure to us to
think Of The London Times as " The Thun-
derer,' but we have seen that lately which
beckons to mind the terrible suspicion that
Its thunder is made by wallopng leaf of
sheet-iron with potato-masher.- WaShing-
ton Post.
BAGLEY: Il saw melancholy sight
few days ago-a messenger boy standing
pensively on the street corner" Fogg:
That's nothing" Bagley: No, but some
one had hung on the boys baci: a sign,
will move about May 1,'"--.St. John az. b.
telegraph.
The Washington Post dips into science
with this interesting query Mightn that
white spot on Saturn be the inugwump
party? Nothing has been seen of that party
on this planet lately, and Saturn you know,
has rings which, maybe, the mugwumps
thought ought to be broken up"
" THE Maryland strawberries this year
taste as if they had been baptized with sun
beams and kissed by an angel. '-Baitimore
american. But when they leave Maryland
and come to New York the sunbeam is gone
the kiss has departed and they are thirty
cents basket and sour.-NeW York Herald
FIRST tramp: "Goin in that house over
there, pard?" Second tramp: " tried that
house last week. | amt gon' there any
more" First tramp; 'Fraid on account
O. the dog" Second tramp: Me pants
are" First tramp; Pants are what 2"
Second tramp; " Prayed on account o. tie
dog. "-Detrou Free Press.
A PERSONAL item says that Miss Marie
Louise Eve is "a rising poetess of Augusta,
Ca" but it doesn't name the hour she
rises. 1t is hoped that she rises early
enough to hel p her mother wash the break
fast dishes and pare the potatoes for dinner.
That's the kind of rising poetesses this
country needs.-Norristown Herald.
SAM JONES, the Georgia revivalist, re-
Gently startled his San Francisco congrega-
ton by telling it that hell was not more
than ten feet away. "-Indidnop0Hs Sentinel.
Well, then, New York is perfectly safe, for
that makes us about three thousand miles
from that locality. We have always thought
we were at least that distance off.-Nep
lOTh ifeTutu.
THE president of the Theosophical Society
of America says that Gin the astral exist
ence time and space do not embarrass as
they do in the material existence" Well,
we are glad to hear that. Nothing is more
calculated to fill man with a cyclone of
gloom than to be informed that time and
space embarrass as much in the astral exist
ence as they do in the material. The year
1889 is going TO be full of bright spots, after
all.-NOrriStoWn Herald
On local railroad printed blanks are
furnished conductors for use in reporting
accidents. 1t is related that recent return
caused great laugh in the superintendent
office. Opposite the side-head "disposi-
ton the conductor wrote that the injured
passenger was sober and industrious, in
stead of stating where he was sent. The
disposition of the carcass of a COW killed by
his train bothered another conductor, for he
declared that the disposition of the animal
was kind and gentle.-Bubdlo Express.
SOMEBODY the other day quoted "A news
paper editorial in the Massachusetts legis-
lature, whereupon Representative Taft re-
narka1 that 90 the debate has fal1an nrattu