The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1889-01-10
PATENT RIGHT cRANks.
Hen Who Spend Their Time and MOI
building CxstIes In the Air.

Building Castles In the Air.
Who was the worst crank you ever
sawf was asked of New York law
yer who makes speciality OF the pa
tent business.
That's u pretty difficult question to
answer, but one OF tho ci-ankicst fcl
lows with whGm | have had 10 deal
was the Inventor OF a revolving pulpit.
The man had a box containing a slnnil
model OF his invention. lie believed
that all of the churches in tic world
would buy his pulpits. lie wanted
me to obtain a patent and assist him
III organizing a company 81 eEtuufact-
urc and sell taie Invention Millions
IN II, hp sad; and when | told him
.hat he WAS fool and that If lie didn't
sliedaddle Id help him down stairs
he was rs mad as hcruct lis III
vcntion was indeed unique. The IDEA
was TO have the church cirrHiar il,
form. with tho pilpi, in ,hc center
The Eelrs "it''c III be arranged III :O,.s
surriuGdin3 tie pulpit. the Latter
being slowly revolvcd IL Tn electric
motor. Thus the preacher. without
exertion OH his part, would le turned
SO IS face the different portions of l..s
conSregation excessively. lho last
heard OF the l9yentaf no w,-s ia an
egssNs.slnsn Ial the Insane.
Among the cranks who ere f:a
greatest annoyance 10 the hwy: ;.rc
The individuals who think t.,cy have
discovered the sccNt uf perpetual mo
ton. These persons have rot quite
perfected their Inventions. bul each is
anxious to protect his machine bv a
patent and prevent others lrofn steal.
ing the fruit Of his woaLe,fu! dis.
coycfy.
~ man pnce grayely Informed rae," ;"
said ihe lawyer, :lhat ee kEa@ low
10 mako i watch that would never run
Down. Now. such t:inc3;ecc would
ba godsond 10 any person. No Wind
ing. no key, 10 running down. no
trouble! asked the inventor il lie
could show me II working nicticl. iic
replied that he had no Elo;icl handy,
bet Ea would explain his theory. |
h:.a tho ian!tor bounce hir. frQl., ,s,y
o!'ice NlAspnt waiting ior .he proposed
explala.loA. Any person OF :ense
i1.losvs ti,at no E,nchiEe can Ike con
structcd which will create royycr in it.
self. There riust be some chemical or
other natural fowo 10 supply Eictio.,.
have heard Of man who believed
that gunpowdcr could be malaa .,hssp
and etfoptnal aaG9oni los pg.soil@lllIiss. ss.Eiia.
chiuerA Ills 'tled Was - igliit. Tie
powder, > small quantity At tirr,. ia
. cylinder, tho expansion CT gas hus
created working u piston. prcsurlc
sn ocean steamer could be propelled
by means OF Il powder engine, but it
strikes me il would be little aw.!l-
ward for the passengers in ease the
fire happened e gel to ,he. giain ,,,as;aa:
| gins. :. -''--i-'-4 -
"l suppose very few women cranks
trouble you. said the reporter.
Il wish your superstition waS true" +"
s:.id the lawyer, but rm ericved 10
say that i! is nat, Ihs.e ars piositS 81
wdnien Wiz. imagine that they can
make their everlasting fortunes in the
| field of invention. AS rule, woman
crank is ten times more to be dreaded
than man crank She cannot be
| bluiFed. When one Of her kind soa. q
e RS -AiiiAS Yeslsn myself tScTiiei
| f;ta:' f!i2ra arg Wetnen who tavo in
vented lly tpps. ercdlo rockers, carpet
| swYcpors, cn1 goodness only Knows
what not. Some of their invei. .tious
have been successful. Mechanical and
inventive talent ia BY nq means con.
| fined ~ Tho r.&ic scx, The most that
! have against n female crank is her
proclivity to talk man to death.
Whenever one OF them enters my dcc,
mentalL yjaeeuiate, Heaven pre-:
scrrt i!fc!H = '''i
What is your advice to people who
have liankcring 70 distineuish ibs "a
selves il, tue Held OF Invention" {" 80 A.
! II would recommend that they
make use Of common sense. Let them
begin by making sure that the article
which they intend to have patented is
both move! and Hsefp!, 'rheg- are
| tiops.uds of patents which either
hover resulted IL profit to the owner
or involved actual financial iosa.
know OF person who devoted twenty
iivo years and large fortune i;ihcri;ed
from q deceased relative il construct.
ing & stem Ilaa, III de-, ,eaz % %
comprising a boiler and furnace, and
the legs being worked By '.es-in
ci:i w c1i, nv lAiitCiillic N's@ lit.iiN
perfected t. such an extent ti.4, !,
actually walled Tho insentien yuas
ratGnttd, prt tha QEn3r foon f,lal
tha, The public dcmard for steam men
was very s,aa>l iade4d hcl;aep he
fd;l t-ialgao IA sell Il feY' ii The Ia.
cllines. bat thoy vlIc Of no practical
use 10 tie purchasers except - IA
Amusing toy.
Could. lie not make money :; tx.
hibiting his steam ricn and chai ing
81. a, i,s,la,. FOO ior sie sl,o., ~
Il rn"aatc: that nn enierpriaing
chap did purchase one cf lhc r.a
chimes aad place ii in vacant store or
Broadway. The atcain man attr;cied
visitors, who raid il their dimes 70 .'es
him walk. bu' the ahow soon rfo"e>l &
saiiuiv and ,ho ,,oo,n ~urt c!oscd sol
good. The last | saw Of this particular
steam raan he was ,cposing i'll & he-lI
Of junk iron at an establishment III
C>atcr street. Air ships and flying
machines are fayorite dreams for thC
paten, right eranEa. l, may be t..a
0 successful flying machine, whic.. cii
be stccrcsl in amy direction, will be con
struc:ed some day, but wouldn't giv'
muc!i for all Ct the inventions III tina
direction which have come 10 Il,
notice. New York Telegram.