The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-02-12
BRIGHT BITS.

SoARANDFLoP (graadiloquently) it PAYS
TO do right Honesty IS the best pc icy after all.
trankly-Why didn't you nave it renewed
Time.
In PREACHING against extravaganza a western
minister looked straight at llrs. Hiram Torver,
VINO had on Si2 bonnet and she tainted de ad
away. Detroit Free Pre- $.
TIE LATE OLIVER DrTsov left SIS 900 for the
rounding OF home FOR poor singers. But the
SUN Is aqpaliinSly Inadequate Fifteen millions
wouldn't house hall Of them. Puck.
Mr.. SLoPAcE-Er-ah-io yon sing Whistle
and I'll Come to YOU, my Lad?"
Miss Liepyer-I dou't sing; but perhaps you
can whistle. and migat try the rest. -f'uck
TIE MAN who always lis the exact truth in
this world on every possible occas on may have
clear conscience. but he will Dever be iDular
among his nelghbors.-- OaierUille Journal.
HALF SHor-Judge If got as intoxicated as
you do. I'd shoot myself
Prisoner-If you was s tosscated as l am
you couldn't hitter barn door. -Drdke's Maya
zine,
INGRAT1TuDE-Just think here I have been
paving Tor my nephews lessons IN singing. and
what do you suppose he does 10 return? be
always sings his songs to me!-FHjegepde
Batter
Done THEIR DUTy- theatrical Manager-Tm
terribly pinched ior money. The chorus is be
ginnin to kick.
Backer-Well, ism, that what they are hired
to do?-LGe
Now that we've got Bismarck into an apollo
getic mood, suppos" we keD on blutfng him
until we've made MIN ucede the su erior
merits of Chicago sugar-curei hams and of
Kansas City sausage icdgJ NeIgs.
How INCONSISTENT some men are. to be sure,
The same man who Will cnearfully pay a 81 80
to hear woman whistle has been known to
threaten instant auuihllatiOn to the office bow
for doing the seIt-same thing -BOStoi. Tran
script.
WrrV p1uyy Ap-- u
landers tie in Boston:' asked q New York
man OF Hubite.
IS o; not many"
They do not want TO become bean Poles
suppose. '-Drahe's NHqdzjue.
"WHAT is a man-of-war:" said a teacher to
his class.
"A cruiser, " was the prompt reply.
what makes it go?"
It's screw" sir.
"Who go With H%'
Its crew, cir. - Ocean.
FoREMAN--;ot any cut of THE wickedest
man in the city tins article tells about?
EdjtOr-No; couldn't get one
What snail uSe?"
well, somewhere around the Office is a box
of old cuts OF local politicians. Most any one
will do. - Philadelphia Record.
A FASHIONABLE BOARDING. SCHOOL in New York
teaches its pupils how e. eat asparagus 1t a
painful thought that thar are thousands OF
gI'Is-ulce girls. TOWN are compelled TO 20
through the world from the cradle to the crave
without receiving a single lesson in the art Of
eating sparasus.-AOrriStO1CH HerCld.
Mrs. DE SwEET-I cannot understand why 80
many cultured men are wiling 70 leave all the
happiness of home, all the bl ssings of cviliza-
tlon and spend a lifetime in explorations in
such countries as Africa.
Col WarmAeart (gailantly)-All men, madam,
are not blessed with such wives as AIr. de Sweet
-NejC York Weekly
DE CRonD-You don't mean to say YOU went
to an amateur concert last mighty
De MlsiO-Yes; couldn't we'll get out Of it
and, besid S, the object was one which heartily
favored.
Benefit OF an orphan asylum
mo; it was to raise funds to send the prin-
cipal singers to Europe. '-Phiddelphia Record
FORGOTTEN How'll was a time OF immens,
public excitt nent, and the streets were filed
with people discussing the latest news of the
strike,
First Citizen-There. (triumphantly handing
the paper to his neighbor). That's tue way the
Morning tfSibaH looks at it. What do you
think?
Second Citizen (gloomly)-I don't think; I'm a
professional juror-Puck.
WHAT has become of the clerk you had a
couple Of months ago?' asked travelling man
of the landlord
He is travelling around the country giving
spiritualistic seances."
Indeed Is lie making any moneyYn
oh, he doesn't need any money"
"WhT nOt?'
Hes a circulating medium himself, isn't he?N
And the traveller took up his grip and went
to another hotel-Merchdnt Traveller