Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-05-24
FUN. PUN, AND JOKE.
A high-toned affair-A piccolo

WHEN sallor wants change h,
probably goes to the quarterback As
THERE is one thing about a ,I,o.;.
ayv that resembles woman. 1t alwo o.l,
has the last word. ~ ss
The Queen of England always dron
"penny royal in the contributions Ups
when she goes to church. ''A
QUITE So-Yes, there is no douh. :,
it, .women arc riddles" Just So@puutI
they are the sort Of riddles men aroa,.
likely to give up.
FIRST shopping fiend - Madame
that's my muff! Second shopn;n,
tiend-Why, how inexcusably stnn;SS
of me to pick up an imitation monkey'
skin.
THE last words of great men are 81,
recorded in the books, but the last
words of women, great and small
have always been too much for tba
historians.
If your laugh is loud, it is low. But
if it is low, it isn't loud. The English
language is fine structure, but whan
we have to talk straight logic, We can'
orally use Greek ourselves.
Mr.. JAsoN-I see one of the CHI.
cago dime museums has living half.
man on exhibition. Mrs. Jason
There's chance for you, Jehiel. That
is, if you could prove that you are
alive.
PRETTY G1nL-7-Is it the fashion now
to wear long faces? I noticed all the
young men have sad, detected look
Dude (despondently) The qua'te'v
bills fwom the wascally ITALIANS ali
coming in.
PoRTER-Two gem'men want to see
the President. Secretary Halford lex
editor)-Who are they? "One saws
he's journalist, sab, an the other
says he's newspaper man." admit
the newspaper man, and kick the jour
nalist out"
"SpEAK1NG about journalistic cour.
age" remarked the snake editor, Il
can name paper which has more grit
than any other, and one which YOU
would hardly think of, either What
paper is that?" asked the horse editor.
Sand paper"
8 A PENNSYLVANIA man who ran
needle into his foot had it drawn out
by holding his foot near dynamo.
Happy thought! Hold some of our
railroad directors near great big
dynamo and see if it won't draw the
steal out of them.-Boston BnUetM
III is said that no woman born at As
pinwall, Panama, ever reached the age
of twenty-one years. This is not so
strange. There are many young
women right here in Minneapolis who
never have and never will reach that
age. if their own statements are to be
Observation-Disclosures Tribune.
READY for trial-Great Doodle law
yer lin New York )-"The trial of our
honorable client will begin to-mor-
row." Assistant (astounded )-"T Trial?
Couldn't you get the case postponed
any longer?" NO need to have it fur
ther postponed. All the important
witnesses are dead"
Miss MADDOX, of Brewton, Ala,
dressed up as tramp to BRIGHTEN her
mother, and the latter, Selling a shot
gun, emptied its contents into her
daughters body inficting serious
wound. The shotgun in the hands of
g woman plays some queer pranks.
If the daughter had been a genuine
tramp, Mrs. Maddox's shot would have
wounded COW in field fifty yards
distant.
BL1NKs (who has moved into the
suburbs): Here's an idea. The pa,
per says one of the handsomest resi-
Il a,
beds laid off with old beer bottles
Mrs. Blinks (doubtfullv): well, at a
distance the effect Of the glass Dor
behring's might be pretty" "Yes, H.
deed. I'll order gross 'or two from
Sweibeer 4 Co., and when the bottles
are empty you can have them. "-Phii-
ddelphi0 RecorG.
O., the world is wide, but friends are few,
Though many will say they love you true,
But love TO some is Il fancy mere
10 come and 80 with the fieetinS year;
And some are false.
And some are true.
A kiss to some is the sacred seal
OF bond that lives for woe and veal;
TO some It's only Dame Fnshion's way
Or saying "Good-norni,!g" or "Good-dny'
But fashions change-the old for the new
And some are false,
And some are true.
The lips that sweetly say Yea" to-day
TOMORROW may pout and say you nay,
For the same bush bears both rose and thorn
And the same red lips speak love and scorn
For some sro false,
And some are true.
WINTER SILHOUETTE.
$50; $50 :== =.:=:z===:==Ee.z=@
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