The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-09-14
MISCELLANY cUs.

short Of ;tn l. never betIter understood
than when man LONGS for money
when he is short of it. wv
"A citizen of Charld sVon' W. d.
turned over his pillow LII arising Tue
o+har r,o,,in I'D foufnd rattlesnake
coiled up and asleep uI+iuer H.
A man mavnot be- afraid of danger
but he looks down in f.he iiiou'h "hel
he prepares to descenfi ln'o " --l1ne'
Binghamton Republican, :,
When man affirt Lns tnaC Chere
lots of money in LEATHER" don't dis.
pute him--purses areE nn'uo Vi ie"Viier'
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
The potato is decd iareo 10 De deeerl-
Grating. A if is prot)agated from gen.
Grafton to generationF instead OF from
seed to seed, it seems 10 De on the de-
cline.
There is nobody flVlng To-Day with
possiblv a few exceptions, who will
see another year in winch the ngure
80" does not appear. I-ArKansas 1raV-
eller.
"A persevering fparrot in Atlanta
practices a new tur| every night for a
week till he mastefs II, TO the great
annoyance of the occupants OF the
house, who are keptAwake by the noise.
-.Eae tanswiafs advertisement ap-
peared recently in a Pittsburgh paper
under the head of Business chances"
Notwithstanding that lazy man
can make living in by investing $500
to $500. Address, etc.
AT a teachers examination in an
Ohio county, one of the candidates
stated in answer to a question that
Chicago was situated in Wisconsin.
He didn't know the size of it, "but
reckoned twas about as big as Column
bus.
-'Deuced unpleasant typographical
error in those invitations to the we'd
ding" said young N. U. Bridegroom.
"How SOP" anxiously inquired the
bride. why, instead of your pres
ence is requested the COMPOUNDED
printer made it read your presents
are requested. IN. Y. Herald.
Shouts the conductor as the train
starts from Chicago: '.All aboard!
Keep in your feet!" But in spite of
this injunction an elephantine hoof
protrudes here and there from a car
window, to smash the first bridge that
gets in the way.-St. Louis Magazine.
The man who is thoroughly in
earnest and alive to the Importance of
killing weeds will be constantly on the
lookout for times when he can rid him
self of these pests; but few farmers
realize what a tax it becomes on their
energies and capital to allow weeds to
ripen their seeds.
Two swindlers played a very
shrewd trick on the merchants of Som
erset. KY. They bought up all the
ginseng they could find, took it to town
and sold it at the nominal price of 50
per pound. Upon investigation it was
-fohhd the ginseng had been bought
while green, split and a groove made
in the root, which was filled with lead.
Even iron tacks were found stuck into
the ends of the roots.
"A fresh young bride from Ohio
having heard that camphor fumes
would. Danish flies, put on her kitchen
range a lot of supposed Jumps of cam
phor. They melted and spread out,
and all the flies for squares away came
swarming to them. The despairing
bride consulted an experienced matron
next door, who discovered that the sup
posed camphor was rock candy.
-''Grass is the forgiveness of ma
ture--her constant benediction. Fields
trampled with battle, saturated with
blood, torn with the ruts of cannon,
grow green again with grass, and car
mage is forgotten. Streets abandoned
by traffic become grass-grown like
rural lanes and are obliterated. For
ests decay, harvests perish. flowers
vanish, but grass is immortal. Sen
ator Ingalls,.
"A Conscientious Official: Lore pas
senger on last cable car out for the
night-"Conductor, as | am the only
man aboard; and as am going to Six
ty-third street, / don't see any need OF
your calling out the names of ali these
streets" Conductor (stiffly)-"Young
man, I'm paid to call out these names
and I'm going to earn my salary. II
you don't like it you can get off. Thir-
ty-fourth" -Chicago Tribune.
"A letter which read as follows was
received the other day by the mayor
of Dallas. Texas: "Sir:-I have been
in this city few days. Am a car.
penter and would like to get some
tsTsrk ard at same time would like to
marry. As / am a stranger, beg you
would assist me in getting wife.
| have about three hundred dollars laid
up; am not particular as to looks, SC
she knows how to work. Am Demo.
| Graf in politics. t-
"A lady, who. though in the autumn
I, of life, has not lost all dreams o.
its spring. said to Jerrold, II can moi
| imagine what makes my hair turr
gray. l sometimes fancy it must be
| the essence of rosemary, with which
v maid has heen in the habit O.