New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-08-23
THE CRANK CORRESPONDENCE BUREAU.

y
The suggestion made in yesterday tribune thaU
one OF the first departments of the world f"lr
which should be established WAS CrnhK |or-
respondence Bureau met with universal approval.
Fvervbodv fell in with the idea immediately. and
no one with more enthusiasm than dld MaJor
Grant. The Mayer .eached his oitce early yester-
day morning, anG, pausng for u moment lie
glanced out over City Hall Park. lie saw two
cmnlls coming up the shattered stone steps each
with roll of manuscript under his arm looking
for him On the benches and scattered AROUND
under the trees he counted twelve more lhree
others were coming through Park Place on the
run. weary pcstman struggled across the es-
planade with two bags OF cOmmunicat0n' when
the Mayor knew only too well were from crahlis
temporarily out OF town Mayor Grant is II strong
man, but this was tno muCh-he turned away anu
sighed For a moment he wished that Mr.. Hewitt
had secured the office last fnll-hc would have so
dearly loved to dispose of those disturbcrs OF
official peace Then the Mayor picked up his
Tribune and his eye fell on the item suggesting
the Crank Bureau. His flce lighted IN with
newborn hope, and he sat down and began to
consider whom he should place in charge OF the
department
Seriously speaking however, il would seem as
If some sort OF bureau of this kind was needed.
having the organization Of the celebration in
charge should not b. taken up by those indi-
viduas who come bearing long-hared poems and
widowed songs. The trouble is already
under way and day before yesterday
gifted but time.destroying man tried to recte
10 the Mayor n Quadri.centennial ode of 400 stan.
zss-one for each yesr-and accompany each
stauza with the tortured waings OF panied
accordion. The literary cranlSs are only one kind
The man with the wildly impossible suggestion
will also appear, and the one with the grievance
and his cousin who claims that the world is going
10 come to an end next week and we had better
attend 10 more important matters. We hope that
il is a rather TOO late day for any OF Coumbus's
body servants TO appear and demand recognition
and we suspect that the who voted for Co.
umbus's grandfather will hardly come forward
but we do not know man is capable OF almost
anything.
There is another small class Of people that
should he spoken OF, though perhaps they should
not be classcd with the fools and the men who per-
form the accordion. We refer to those misguided
persons who think that the celebration should
not be held nj all because Columbus did not dis
cover this country. These give their faith TO dis
covcrer named Erikson. IL seems 10 be pretty well
settled that this man ErilSson really did stumble
did not amount TO anything He did nothing for
emigration. lie did not like the New England
climate, and went back II Columbus had not
discovered the country subsequently. our friends,
the Erikson supporters would have never even
heard OF their man. Columbus discovered both
America aud Erilsson. His discovery was prac.
teal lie did not go back 10 Spain aud hint
around that some folks could tell some other folks
q good deal about geography. lie was not con.
tent with dark insinuation that he knew man
who could put his finger world any
time he felt like IT, lie did not. as we might
put it, simply hint that there was a hen on, hut
he boldly produced map showing the hens
location. Columbus discovered America in i492
Just as the old school history used TO tell us.
and ErilSson must remain on the back seats
! After we get all through with the Columbus
celebration. II not too tired. we will attend