Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-06-01
FUN, PUN, AND JOKE


A high-toned affair-A piccolo.
WHEN . sailor wants change hs
probably goes to the quarter-deck.
THERE is one thing about diction-
airy that resembles woman. It ALWAYS
has the last word.
The Queen of England always drops
penny royal in the contribution-box
when she goes to church.
QUITE So-Yes, there is no doubt Of
it, women arc riddles" Just So-But
they are the sort of riddles men aren't
likely to give up.
FIRST shopping fiend a. Mad. ne.
that's my muff! Second shop, ine
fiend-Why, how inexcusably stupid
of me to pick up an imitation monkey
skin.
The last words of great men are all
recorded in the books, but the last
words of women, great and small,
have always been too much for the
historians.
If your laugh is loud, it is low. But
if it is low, it isn't loud. The English
language is fine structure, but when
we have to talk straight logic, we gen.
orally use Greek ourselves.
Mr.. JAsoN-I see one of the Chi
cago dime museums has living half.
man on exhibition. Mrs. Jasel-
There's chance for you, Jehiel. That
is, if you could prove that you are
alive.
PRETTY GIRLS it the fashion now
to wear long faces? noticed all the
young men have sad, detected look.
Dude (despondently) The qua'te1y
bills fwom the wascally tailahs ah
coming in.
PoRTER-Two gem'men want to see
the President. Secretary Halford lex
editor) Who are they? @One says
he's o journalist, sab, an the other
says he's q newspaper man." admit
the newspaper man, and kick the jour
nalist out"
@SPEAKING about journalistic cour-
age," remarked the snake editor, II
can name a paper which has more grit
than any other, and one which you
would hardly think Of, either" what
parsr is that ?" asked the horse editor.
@Sand paper"
= A PENNSYLVANIA man who ran q
needle into his foot had it drawn out
by holding his foot near a dynamo.
Happy thought! Hold some of our
railroad directors near a great big
dynamo and see if it won't draw the
steal out of them.-Bostoa Bulletin.
IT is said that no woman born at As
pinwall, Panama, ever reached the age
of twenty-one years. This is not SO
strange. There are many young
women right here in Minneapolis who
never have and never will reach that
age, if their own statements are to be
believed.-Minneapolis Tribune.
READY for trial-Great Doodle law
yer Gin New York )-"The trial of our
honorable client will begin to-mor-
row." Assistant (astounded Trial
Couldn't you get the case postponed
any longer mo need to have it fur
ther postponed. All the important
witnesses are dead"
Miss MADDOX, of Brewton, Ala,
dressed up as a tramp to frighten her
mother, and the latter, Selling shot
gun, emptied its contents into her
daughters body, inficting a serious
wound. The shotgun in the hands Of
q woman plays some queer pranks.
If the daughter had been genuine
tramp, Mrs. Maddox's shot would have
wounded q COW in field fifty yards
distant.
BL1NKs (who has moved into the
suburbs): Heres an idea. The pa
per says one of the handsomest resi-
dences on the Hudson has the flower
beds laid off with old beer bottles"
Mrs. Blinks (doubtfully): well, at
distance the effect of the glass Dor.
behring's might be pretty" Eyes, in
deed. I'll order gross or two from
Sweibeer & Co., and when the bottles
are empty you can have them. PHIL
adelphia Record.
Oh! the world is wide, but friends are few,
Though many will say they love you true,
But love to some is fancy mere,
To come and go with the fleeting year;
And some are false.
And some are true
A kiss to some is the sacred seal
OF q bond that lives for woe and veal;
To some tbs only Dame Fashions way
OF saying ~Good-morning" or 4Good-dayr
But fashions change-the old for the new
And some are false,
And some are true.
The lips that sweetly say ~Yea" to-day,
Tomorrow may pout and say you nay,
For the same bush bears both rose snd thorn.
And the same red lips speak love and scorn.
And the world is wide, but friends are few;
For some are false,
And some are true.
A WINTER SILHOUETTE.
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