The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1889-10-12
eUNcENr PARAGRAPHS.


One reason why so many Amor.
leans return penniless from Europe =
because too much Hoyle is cast upon
the waters.-Ol City Blizzard.
Style" says writer on h.era
topics. "means every thing Yes,
sa;d ellison. whose wife is a devotee 10
fashion, "it means every thing a man :
eot."-Washington Capital.
When a man makes up ms minu
that he has got to economize. MS nrst
impulse always is to begin by inquiring
into his wife's personal expenses
Somerville Journal. -
There are 80 many learned femaie
graduates nowadays thrown upon ~
ciety, there will be no need OF a ieiioW
buying encyclopedias or dictionaries
He can marry one, all bound In SILK
Elk.
A number of young women IN
Cuthbert. Ca, have organized an anu
kissing society. Those who have seen
the members say that such a Precau-
ton was not ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Herald.
Mr.. Jinks--"I don t know how YOU
will feel about it, sir, but the iacS Isl
that nv wife, your daughter. is q dread
fully hard woman to live with. Mr.
Blinks-"I can sympathize with you'
sir. married her mother. IN. 1.
Weekly.
The minister with severity
..And so you do not believe every thing
you learn at Sunday -school, Richards
Richard-"No, sir; not every thing.
The Enthusiastically little hoy does.
Richard-"Yes. sir. Isuppose your 1T
tie boy has to."-Life.
-Jinks-"l called at your boarding
house to-day and saw the table nearly
set for dinner. aud must say things
. looked very neat. never saw a winter
table-cloth in my life." Blinks--"No;
she doesn't make her tea, coffee or
soups strong enough to STAIN"
A woman, considered to be half
witted, was being tcased by her neigh
bors on being an old maid. How Is
it We never got marriedP" asked one.
20, We see." she replied, ''if l had
been as easily pleased wi man as
your mans been wi wife, MIGHT
haze been marrit fifty times owre."
-Farmer Greene (from Wayback)-
IL always was accounted remarkably
long-headed in money matters. do you
notice it, professor" Phrenologist
(who has had his pay in advance)-
mo don't notice any such develop
ments, but if your head only was az
long as it is thick it would be daisy"
Time. !
Mrs. Walworthy IL declare.
Henry. your eternal talk, talk. talk Of
how good cook your mother used to
be will drive me wild some day! My
most fervent wish is that little Johnny
will never worry his wife that way
when he grows up and has a home"
Mr.. Walworthy-.'There's no danger
of that. "-Terre Haute Express. '
Mrs. Nibbs-s.rm shocked. Willie
Jones. to hear you use such awful lam
guage, positively shocked. think
it's high time your mother took you in
hand" Willie-s'Yes'm, she has. She
told me this morning must stop 'soci-
ating with your little boy, cause he
was maxim me as bad as hisself. ~
Philadelphia Record. \
Wife (reading from paper) This
paper says that peanuts are injurious
to the voice." Husband-"Is that sor
l never thought there was SO much
virtue in q peanut. l wonder what
they cost hundredweight?' Wife
"rm sure l don't know. WhyP" Hus-
band-l was thinking of laying in
stock of them. Do you like peanuts,
my dear?' Blade.
Say" said stranger in the city,
"why are the bells tolling. and the
flags at half-mast, and what means this
procession of about 10000 peoplepm
"A funeral" was the laconic reply.
"Some great man. spose-a famous
general, or some wealthy citizen who
gave several million dollars in char.
TYP" Neither. Only a poor man
who year ago endeared himself ia
all sensible people by killing an encore
fiend at an opera performance. IN
Y. Ledger.