The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-11-09
FIBs AND ROULgRIgs.
IT'S very wrong I : leu 10 swear
When anything 10 RwIy,
And with \ liktl0 khUuRhlful care


They'd stop iii they'd Try,
Yet, RileI all, lhore'te greater wrongs
Than men who wildly rant,
AMI they're tho looks y woman donA
VINO wants - swear aud can't, -,
Bootblack-"shine, sirP" Actor lego
tistically)-"Well, should say l do."-
Judge.
New York Is trying to get the World's
FAIR by the faith cure method.-ChIcGgO
Journal
A man may hear what Is going on
round the corner, but he cant see 1t even
with circular saw,-Life.
"Mercy, William, what makes these
eggs SO black?" "The hens have been
laying in oal."-HarperS Bazaar.
A woman can throw stone as straight
as a man. It's the direction the missile
takes that puzzles her,-Terre Haute Err.
pres.
The Mormon men are innocent
enough. They would never have more
than one wife apiece II 1t were not for
the women.-Pieayane.
"John," said Mrs. spriggins. "there
must be- rats In this house. That po.
ruus plaster | bought last week Is Chock
full OF holes."-HGrpsr's Ba'ar.
Hardpush-"Got now conundrum,
Dollerby. II | ask you for ten cents,
what time is it2" Dollerby-"It's dime
Tor me to say no."-Iime.
She (at the plano)-"Listen !-how do
you enjoy this refrain2" He-"Yery
much The more you refariu the bet
ter like it."-AusicdI Courier.
Thehole in tho Mexican treasury looks
as II "UnCle Dick Tat-,n late OF Ken.
lucky, might have dictated a few points
to the otliCials.-IRdianopOlR Journal.
Secretary Window thinks the supply
Of money is equal to all demands. II is
easy to see that the Secretary's circle
OF acquaintance is limited.-Chicago
Times.
Mr.. sIowpop-"Who do you wiring
your hands all the time, Miss BELIEF"
Miss Bell-"BeCause no one else will
so much as wiring finger for me,"-Er.
chnnge,
What a fool (admiringly to Jessamine)
81 wish l had your teeth. Why, I'd
give $3.50 tor them" Small Brother lin
stage whisper)-"Sell 'em to lin sis."-
brakes Magazine.
Mr.. Dumpsey, to the wife Of his bosom
-"Marlal here, I've gone and sat down
in that chair | vanished for you this
Mrs. Dumpsey-"Well, for
once you've stuck to your work.
Burlington w. Free Pres.
They are preparing for a religious re.
viyal at Lawrence. II that town could
have the kind of a shaking up that Ham.
mond gave it fifteen years ago, the sin.
ners would either have 10 join the pro.
cession or move up to Topeka.-KanSas
Guy Star.
Mr.. Younghusband-"Did you 20 to
see that pony that was advertised as
used to carry a Child7" Mrs. Young.
husband-"No, dear. You said you
wanted a sound animal, and this was
as well broken "-HGrperS
BdEdr.
II see the French people call chest
nut a rossignoI?" said squibsby, the
funny man. II don't SEE the connec.
ton, really, because a rossignol is q
nightingale" "Oh, we'll" replied Mrs.
"naybo they've all heard .
nightingale betore."-Harpsr's Busar
She--"Speak out Mr.. Prudence, ifyol
have anythingto say" He-"No, thank
you. There's a phonograph hid under
the center table, your little brother Ia
under tho sofa, tho hired girl Is listening
ut the keyhole and your mother Is look
ing over the transon. The only thing
that refrains the 10 my doubt as to- the
whereabouts Of your father.-Omaka
IHorld.
The editor Of the Nnps has q family IA
support and COW to winter. Any.
thing, therefore, that Is raised upon the
homestead is acceptable on subscription.
Any farmer may pay his subscription by
bringing US at our ranch 81 so worth o.
anything that is suitable for food or use
on the farm; or, II he prefer, by doins
that amounted work In flowing for fri
guards. Just now we arc In heed oI
pumpkins, squasheg, corn, turnips, hay
straw, &C.-Scnecd, COL, MtirS.