The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-10-09
THE LiMEkILN CLUB,
what the Society Has Accomplished Sin
Its Foundation In 1877.

~ ItW6NlkN CLO6.
! what the Society Has Accomplished SInoe
Its Foundation In 1917.
! When the meeting had been called
TO order and several of the windows
lowered from the top to let out the
odor OF burning WOODEN. caused BY
Elder Toots getting his back too near
the hot stove, Brother Gardner arose
and said:
I'VE hev begun de twelfth var oh de
existence OF dis club, an it ar an an.
pfopriate time for hggerin' up what
we hev accomplished as an organiza-
ton. hey made a leet1e collaboration,
which / will purceed to read:
1--WE have improved the moral
status OF de GUILD race in America So
per cent
I'VE hev reformed upwards of (esti.
mated) $4,000 pussons, who war ad.
dlcted to de use of intoxicatin' drinks.
1--WE hev converted upwards of (es-
timated) 100000 pussons to de SCI
ence of HYGIENE an sanitary regula-
shuns.
Twelve Vars ago 100000 dogs
owned by Guild pussons war allowed
to sleep under the bed. To-day the
number is estimated at less than 100.
when dis club was first organized
De loss OF chickens in de United States
by midnight evaporashun was call,er-
lated at 10000 per night fur eberv
night in de var. At dis date It will
not average fifty
Twelve Vars ago no Guild nusson
In diss hull kentry felt any moral OH
llgashun when in dc presence of a wa
ter mellyon. At de present time de
said mellyon has got to be de biggest
an lie ripest sort, an to hold ont
actual Encouragement to be tooken in.
befo' a Guild man kin be tempted.
I'm seventeen different States dis
cluD has taken precedence of the REQ.
ular Legislatures, an its purceed.
lngs ar read an honored wild fur mo,
interest.
I'm many localities de Limekiln
Club is considered de superior of Con.
gress' an our reports on agriculture
hshin', POSTUM huntin' an astronomy
ar accepted as standard by large ma.
jority.
I'VE hev indicted the speerit OF
economy an thrift into (estimatedl
100000 bosoms, adding to de capital
OF de kentry at least $75, 600 600 per
var go
Twelve Vars ago de best educated
Guild man in dis kentry couldn't tell |
a slx-shillin' chrome from a So 000 |
At the present date de same
kin be told six miles off.
"Eben up to seben Vars ago no Gull 4
pusson in dis kentry had any idea Of
gravltashun, astronomy or medical
science. To-day 5000, 900 of our race
know why grindstun falls to de
!round when you point it up in the air.
Amos ebry man, woman an child
Ieeps track OBJ de moons phases AN,
lnows dc suns distance from de airtb.
De cause an effect of chillblains il
low common knowledge, an de cnll,d
nan who gifts whack in de eve knows
III about de yirchews of fresh beef 40
remedy.
"To sum up, we hev made a record
i which cherry member of de club NAV
Justly feel proud, an we hev honestly
lrned de right to inscribe on our ban.
er: SIC Seanper Trcmor."
Rev. Penstock, who has been very
ulet. Tor a few weeks past, now arose
} inquire:
docs de char fully comprehend de
'eanin' OF de Latin term just usedpn
de char does!' was the emphatic {
esponse.
Exactly, but I-I-what did do
la'r mean to infer?"
"Brudder Penstock," replied the G
resident. with a whole>cold storage a
'mpany in his tones. "dis char hasn't r
assed frew college an bin loaded ]
own wild certificates an diplomas. G
1T nevertheless he reckons on know. t
what he is talkin' about. De mean. a
OF dat Latin is: We Hev Got To t
9 Top" e
but lip "
"Brudder Penstock, sot down! You n
disturbin' de meetin' an layin' your Il
If liable to fine of half a millvon c.
llars!'' /,
penstock fell backwards in heap z
d the president then announced the o
cal officers and committees. Detroit o.
ee Press. te
Enra~.Ie ~