The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-02-15
BRIGHT BITS.

THE looking glass is the only truth teller that
is universally popular. But this is because we
interpret its reflections to suit ourselves, and
not hterally.-Puck.
PROBABLY no one ever felt more keenly the
pain of parting than the unsOphisticated small
Toy who sticks his tongue against an IRON post
when the thermometer registers six degrees be-
low zero. -Btrttngton Free Press.
CAN'T" said Emerson, lis useful to provoke
common sense. Yes, it is good for that 1t is
also useful as handy word to fill in an en-
barrassing gap in the conversation when man
asks you to loan him S5.-Burdette
FIRST SWEET GIRL,-O dear, must we invite
those De Pretty sisters to our party? MIR. Nice
fellow Is awfuiiy sweet on one o. them
Second Sweet GirI-And Mr. hichrelloW IS
awfully sweet on the other. Let's cut EN- both.
-PhtIade lphja Record.
MISS AzUREBLooD-One moment, Reginald.
Is it on the north or south side OF Common
wealth avenue that your fami resides?
Reginald-On tie south Slle.
Miss a Then, Reginald, can never be yours.
FAREWELL Beacon.
Mrs. HAYsEED-So young Virgins is dead
wonder what he died Of?
Alonzo Hayseed from college)-I heard it was
Mrs. h.LLand of Goshen, and me thinking
all the time the fellow had the consumption
america.
AMELIA-swear not by the moon, the incon-
slant moon.
swear by that which you hold invaluable;
something that you cannot live without.
Then, Amelia love you! | swear it by my
salary. '-Nelc DIRK Wee.iy
LITTLE BoY-What is that man laughing
about?
Papa-He is reading humorous article in an
American religious journal.
WHAT is tAat other man looking SO sad
about?n
He is reading an English comic paper
Philadelphia Record.
AN OPINION FROM THOMPSON sTREET.-Mr G.
Washington Drake hear, Scott, dat yos got
job on de Morning Ctdripn. Whad yo' think
OBJ de profession of Journalism?
Mr.. w Scott Clug-lt am a profe sion. sab,
which requires de clearest head an de most
pow'fu concentration OBJ mind. No ordinary
man, sab, could wash does ten-story windows
without dizZiness.-Puck.
NOTHING, - says down hearted philosopher,
'noJning fingers and STAYS on like a stain on
the character" Hal you haven't noticed then
the appalling staying powers OF the hired girls
young man? Possibly not. At the uuea THY
hour when he makes up his mind TO begin to
think of going. the rest OF the world is locked
in sldmber SO profound that nothing short of
a serenade or troubled conscience could dis
turb it.-BuJdette.
A SLIGHT DIsAPpoINrMENT.-La Landlord 0ook-
ing out of the window)-Ihere comes Widow
Jenkins boy, and | do believe he's coming to
pay the back rent. I'll go to the door myself.
Little boy (at the door)-Ma sent me for
ceipt.
Landlord-All right my little lad; step right
in and | IL write it out.
Little boy--We're going to have company to-
morrow an ma wants it for lemon jell -Neo
York sun.
OUR BoARDING HoUsE.-New Boarder (who is
dresslng)-I say, neighbor. what is That wall
ing, shriekng, cursing and sobbing hear going
on down stairs?
Old Boarder dressing and beginning to yelD
-Heavensl those are the other bOarders gone
down before us.
\. B-Wel, what does it mean?
Q. Bit means, ham and eggs again!
Attempts to hang himself from the chandelier
with his cravat.-LieS