Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-07-06
LAUGHTER'S CARTE DU JOUR

| jAos - sue WAut0r gets ON nus D1of.
AN illustration of simple faith-Eat-
ing sausages in q cheap restaurant.
WHEN q man gives up newspaper
work ne ought to go into the express
business.
| MISS WEERY-Ah! it must be nice
to be clever. Mr.. Konseet-Yes, Won
have no idea.
BROTHER TALMADGE says that
Adams second son was the first Abel
bodied man on record.
The man who was lost in admir-.
alton of woman afterwards found
himself in love with her.
Mrs. BRowN-@H you had only lis
| tened to me-" Mr.. Brown8"Pd
have been talked to death long ago."
PROSE poem by the collector: For
OF any two words of tongue or pen the
warmest and coolest are "come again.
SHE-How do you suppose the apes
crack the hard shells of the nuts they
pick? He-With monkey wrench, of
course.
MARRIAGE can't be much of failure
after all. Every married man keeps
his own carriage-f he happens to
have baby.
IT is not the pigs in clover that
trouble President Harrison so much as
the desperate efforts of the hogs to
get in the trough.
AT the operetta-De -Hope-These
girls march in excellent time. LIE
Bloke-Yes, they have clocks on their
stockings, don't you know?
"MY idea of moral hero" said
Whackby, lis man who speaks what
he thinks" no." said Cooler: "it's q
man who speaks what you think"
Grandma is Sc years old, and
she danced a minuet here tonight. He
Gust from the theater)-Why, she is
almost old enough to appear in the
ballet.
WIVES should never conceal any
thing from their husbands" says a
writer. If this advice were followed
out it would create a revolution in femi
nine pockets.
Mr.. PARvENNEw-Have you "Pro-
metheus Unbound?" Clerk sir.
In calf or Russia leather binding? Mr..
Parvennew-Can't you hear, you con-
founded idiot? I said uaabound.
"WE have fine summer resort here,
sir" at looks so," "Music evenings,
parties, and round Dances" Il don't
care for the round dances. How about
the square meals Chicago Ledger.
FIRST Oklahoma boomer Ito we'll
dressed settler)-So you've made for
tune since you came here, have you?
How in thunder did you do it? Well
dressed settler Qaconically)-Pm the
Coroner.
OLDMANsoN-Have you proposed to
Miss Southmayd, as you said You
should? Northcote-Yes, I proposed
yesterday-by note. Oldmanson-
note went to protest. Her father got
hold of it.
EDwINA-And you were really, truly
true to your little WHEY while YOU
were in Paris, Algernon? Algernon
(irmly)-As true, sweetest, as the camel
to the eye of the needle. Edwina-Oh,
you darling!
BRowN-Your teacher can't be such
a mean man as you make out. I notice
his son has all the toys he can possibly
need. Little Johnnie Why, dad,
those are what his father takes away
from the other boys.
Il SAW you at the opera last evening,
Mr.. Smythe. Did you enjoy it?"
Eyes, very much" (which part did
you like best? ?" ooh, I don't know ex-
actly. It struck me as being the pref
test when they all wore pink"
"YoU will let me go to your we'd
ding, will you not, dear? ?" said one girl
to another. "Upon my word I can't
promise My folks are in such a rage
about my wedding that am not sure
they will let me go to it myself"
THREE A. MI say, offshur, ishn't
that high-stoop brown-stone house
mine? Eyes, Mr.. Saunders, that's
your house. well, I wish when it
,hic) comes this way gain you'd stop
Mrs. De STANG making a college
,all)-I trust, Rupert, that you're not
the social training that goes
70 far to make a gentleman. Her son
By no means, mother. I devote two or
hree hours day to Marquis of Queens
perry rules. Mrs. De Stang-I'm So
20 glad.
@DEAR me, this is so annoying" said
Mr.. Haggerty, impatiently. "Tve
ooked all over the house for my pipe,
nd can't find it anywhere" @bid you
ook in your mouth ?" asked Mrs. Hag-
'erty, regarding him with smile. mo,
y George! And it's there, too" said
1aggerty.
DHoNKE1GH - Say, Crimsonbeak,
Touldn't you like to have some of the
'ealth that's lying at the bottom of the
ca, from various wrecks? Crimson.
eak-I should say I would, but, you
ee, they're like old maids. Dhonkeigh
Like old maids, how? Crimsonbeak
They're unclaimed treasures.
THE SPRING POET swoRE.
The poet wrote of the buds and flowers.
And then, to wiring his soul
Came hail and snow in heavy showers