New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-11-26
CHANCES HERE AND THERE.

As regularly the Million stamp mania breaks out
the crazy notion that the owners OF the largest and
most costly steamers ahoat insanely bent on
reckless racing' Put damp towel around your
head for moment, you poor dear, and try 10 thlhh
calmly, calmly you First, these Dig
steamers are, a rule, either uninsured or out
partially insured. Then their depends mainly
safety, and, consequence, upon an earned anu
established reputation for safety hard TO gain and
easy very easy, 10 lose. Their captains and omcers
are the most expert, the most experienced ana
The most careful TO be found They all temperate
men and many II not most Of them are total abStainers
when at sea. Not only does the captain carry his
life in his hand every minute Of every hour, and with
| { the means whereby he and his wife and Children
live, but he has superadded direct immediate ana
pressing personal interest to the extent OF an
traction OF his pay in AVOIDING an pos orc i tear
or drive ahead not caring what they may run INTO
not exactly midsummer madness because it happens
10 be perennial. Call II the ever-bloOming CURIOUS
The captains know nothing Of the KIM ANN Ineg bD NC
they may hit will be quite as likely
low Ps vo1 them tn bo as sure that Ge ou % run bows on
squarey into the other mans broadsidel a coal
schooner sunk the Oregon, although indeed, ever
believe believe they believe that all the mrderers
ever hanged are still alive (Webstcr and Colt for
choiccl have decided to think otherwise. The truth
Is as every Of the least experience knows, mere
is no such thing as ABSOLUTE safety az sea any S
Is the question and delicate one not to be decided
offhand or with the aid Of an irreducble minimum
OF knowledge Fire, collision and tempest are IN
three great dangers. They always present, every
minute The shorter tn, time you are exposed TO
and read late number of Punch and see If you
can find anything funny in the Modern Marine an
tata in which the great London humorst frolcs aoout
this grave topic.
How do you account for the increase in the number
Of persons employed in every Government Office
The hours are longer than formerly, the men land
women work harder. the discipline is more severe
far mora severe, in fact far too severe Yet there
are more people employed. OF course in some de-
partments, like the Post Office, for instance, this is
largely because the country has grown In wealth and
population: others. such the Pension and Currency
Bureaus practically thor existence 10 the war
But take the War Department, for example Each
bureau is about big as the whole Department. was
before the war. Some bigger. Allow for the
work Of the war grant that the army mas uOuDled
since $50 which 1t hasn't: required. 10 explain why
the clerical force in the Secretary office has been
multiplied by eight. The civil service commas toner's
might substitute that question In their next eX-
animation for the usual craving for information 10
what Ave principal rivers flow into the Caspian sea,
or what Is the nature and composition Of cikonogen.
II they do and you are asked. and You really want
chance to copy little rcd ink Endorsements into
book big that it hurts your stomach answer o3ag
forms everything
In The Exiles' there is a where two sedees
are drawn down and across the stage, the first by
reindeer the second by four dogs. The angle at the
turn Is exceedingly sharp. a few nights ago when
the sledges appeared, The first one made the turn
safely ard went merrily off the stage. The dogs,
however, were unable 10 around sharply enough
10 make the turn. and they suddenly steered OIL toward
the fOOtlighs. There Is curtaindrop at this pOlnt
and the curtain came rolling down as usual IL
divided the sledging party in an uncermOn4ous way
and for a moment there was a struggling confused
mass curtain. sleige. dogs. frs and riders which
mi ht have done justice to genuine upset in
siberian snow-drift.
So; Madame Diss again. BY the way did you
ever notice that all these woodworking mysteries
II the money beeder be man, the wonder worker Is
sure to be a womanl And the other way round as
well. Account for 1t you like, there the fact Is
The python Is dead. II was time for him TO ule
After escaping from the hold Of his steamer, being
borne across City Hall Park two
mems shoulders ike fire hose, going
into winter quarters in furnace aue in Boston, and
crawling deliberately from Nahant to Jamaica Plain
I'm order TO terrify a respectable lady who had never
harmed him or even spoken dsrespectuly OF him. that
python ought 70 have died An Irshman casually
hashed him up and took him into restaurant In
Park Row for sale. But they were not buying that
kind just then 80 ends the sad tale OF the PYTHON
Let have peace.