New-York tribune., 1889-12-24

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hfteen years surrogate IN Gotham. setting up and
knocking down millonarcs wills, given him this easy
assurance that might lead him 10 suggest to Mr..
Evarls for instance. that long sentences better
adapted To the criminal courts than to the New Eng
draw & Or 10 Se Mr. Or PePew S e II General Sssu O to
ter not to be as funny he could7 tRenewed laugh
ter0 Or was il like an expostfacto warning ] re-
ceived once before In this wise: on the Fourth Of
July, 1884, attended picnic given by the New Eng
Concord. Mass. There was dinner and an alter
dinner, usual, and the Governor and Lieutenant
state oficlaI was called to speak for The CON
monwealth.' Now. hold that no knows so we'll
fails, the speaker himself And on this occasion
iancied had done fairly well-eter from the insplra
ton OF the fact that we were the very spot where
Thoreau had demonstrated that could live on
10 cent? week. II he would conlne himself to
legumn0us det-dont you know, beans (laughter)i
and wouldn't pay his taxes more laughter or from
the peculiar philosophical influence that permeates
that shot fired by embattled farmer be heard
1000 miles. AT any rate was feeling quite salts
waiting for the train that take into Boston
was quite prepared TO accept the congratulations
of gentleman VITA Hebraic cast Of cOuntenance
and sort Of Chatham-st accent who approached
and introduced himself as Mr. schmitz. vice presi-
dent of the New York Grocers' Association, and a
j was YER mooch pleased nit your remarks he
sald j thought they were exceedingly interesting
way. he TOOK the wireedge of his comDment bv
adding: You know don't want holdings reel good
on occasions like dose, daughter and applauseD
In my quandary stepped into our State library. and
the Fs sTRn me ,y W9f
said he. here are the complete reports of the New
England Socety's dinners in NewYork from 1877 TO
1sss inclusive. There has been anything bet
ter said about Forefathers' Day than you will find in
these pamphlets. (Applause) =.
d" Ah." thought !. now ! am all right. Now
shall understand what is the best for nv speech
And carried the books home and spent the whole
day on sunday reading them. But the result
discouraging rather than encouraging. Certainly in
no similar compass in any book or books could there
as has been heard in the last twelve years around the
table of this society: But these were only an embar
cance has its advantage Nv relation % to the list Of
the socety's guests was like the description which
the little girl in the geography class 10 Rhode
Island who on being asked to state for what Rhode
! Island noted. she said II distinguished
being the only Of the United States that is the
! smallest" Uaughter)
HE COULDN'T CRIB"
Why couldn't " crib of the speeches made by
some one of the less prominent of those who have
spoken? But this was dismissed dangerous. When
speeches reported verbatim and every years pro-
ceedings given in full searching antiquarian
would later convict me of plagiarism. with
plenty of chances Of being discovered on the spot
In that event / should be as completely covered with
confusion as was the man who stole the plank, and
as likely to make most absurd explanation. This
man, reputation for honesty a little rocky
on going home from his work night came across
pile OF planks which somebody had unoaded by the
roadside and he couldn't overcome the impulse TO steal
the top plank. lie knew it wouldn't do TO 20
through the village. and thus expose the theft and
wandered into boghoe and sank into the mire
The he struggled extrcate himself. the deeper
called for help His cries brought neighbor
with lantern, who inquired what the matter was
Well" said the man. in hurry to get home
tonight. and so took across the swamp and
got into this bog. The more tried TO get
out the deeper got in Finally went back up to the
road and got this plank to see if couldn't manage
to get myself out with that 1aughterJ
But the perusal of the pamphlets gave me some
valuable Information about this society and these
occasions For one thing, learned what constitutes &
"A quorum Ct the society p" TO do business as the
parliamentary manuals at OF these anniversary
dinners A quorum consists OF the I'D of December
when that day doesn't fall on sunday the president of
the society the secretary (whcn he is able 20 be 0ut)
the President of the United states and Cabinet 0cer
minoy individuals from around the country, and
Chauncey NJ. Depew and General Horace Porter,
whether or no. 0,reat laughter and applause) Now
there have been dinners when either Mr. Dcpew
General Porter has been absent and though not con
sdeIcd quite complete these anniversaries are allowed
to count. But in the or two years when neither
gentlemen present the dinners are counted
/ expunged from the records. Haughter.)
/ do not remember that found in my perrsal OF
the twelve years speeches have referred to the story
about the tramp. though l have doubt it is ver
table chestnut at this table. And refer to it only
know. that tramp once went into the house OF
very pious and very hosptabIe old lady in oswego
%a SCI snd h% 2r he to attack
fore YOU begin eat eXpostulaed the Did lady, who
believed in grace before meat Me and Chauncey
we've eat" Q.aughter) There is very strong i'll
ternal evidence that the tramp's name was Porter
There are other things which learned from the
pamphlets. but haven't time to tell them what
willie was in the quandary received another com.
municatlon from the committee. enclosing the toast
equal to the subject. should have no lack. Boston.
and Men and Things Therein and ThereaboutT e
day celebrate is really the birthplace of Boston
and vicinity Plymouth Rock Is bnt the doorstep SGc
remembrance are largely BostOnian. This isn't the
fle diefiu bpf
and the Puritan. as it existed in the days OF John
Robinson and William brewster ana want M 10 , iahe
and tOwnsman of nine now departed. who was As
mouth and the Puritan of the Massachusetts Colony
a the most ardent Pilgrim of the Mayhower was
that those of YOU who have not read Goodwins Pill
grim Ropnblic7 have missed of the cearest and
charming books on colonial history that has
understand 10 have led 10 the formation OF Ihs so
ccty. and they are not far wrong. after all; who
consider the Pilgrim and the Puritan like as |
two peas: Boston and Vicinity grew ou, OF Do,n; G
honor TO both. reOlces unspeakably III both. ZAP
! am aware that other and less favored people |
consurc 10 poke fun Boston and Boston notions.
but that es everybody knows Is sheer envy. taGgh |
ter know that BOston's devotion to Boston Is |
subject Of comment But when y9u SET us the eX |
ample of celebrating the virtues OF lioston aho % her
surroundings, and when every consl1eiaDG Guy ol |
hi, continent has her New England society ana |
cclcbracs FOreathers Day why should ldconS not te M
vent preacher met Theodore Parker in the street ana
assured hin that the end OF the WOlld was ccTlalnH
coming lihin month"; Mr.. Parker replied Ihai
doesn't Concern me- live III BOsNh'D (LauHhteI
and applause)
BOsT0H Is BOSTON
And when the Boston lady. who had gone 10 the
Ncw Jerusalem. sent back message to her husband
describing the gates of pearl the streets OF gold the
walls Of jasper and the Great White Throne she wound
up with the sigh that Indeed, 1t was al very hioe'
,ut tlcu il was not Boston" (iaughtci.l
And when the woman went 10 the tombstone man
and was trying u select inscription winch should
,r0,,erly commemorate the virtues Of her deceased
husband and could nit upon nOtlIng satisfactory, the
monument suggested that the wOId' nc nlr
- You forget" retOrtcd the mourning wloOW' VIII |
freezing dignity, that my husband hVed III bos'o"
Q.aughter) =, 4. ,u,.tr.to tho |