The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-03-31
CHAPTER XXXV.

The Americans Of today are 50 blase on
the matter Of advertisements that il is diff
cult to attract their attention without getting
up extravagant bats tor their eyes,
The most effective bait Is the illustrated
advertisement Here, for instance, Is the
"Capilline," which makes the hair and whis
kers grow as If by magic You have to be
so careful in handling the stun that if a drop
should fall, say, on your nose, "A tuft Of hair
would almost Immediately grow thereon
On the left Of the advertisement you see a
poor fellow bald whiskerless, and wan. a
young lady is turning her back on Tim with
a look Of disgust The illustration is entitled.
Before using apilline-Refused' On the
right, you see a superb male beauty, adorned
with a luxuriant growth Of hair and beard
The same young lady reposes her head on his
shoulder, and raises her rapturous eyes TO his
Underneath are the words After using
Capillne-Accepted." But the most marvel
ous part Of it Is that the use Of tho elixir has
changed the cut Of the mans coat. First he
was dressed In lonk, threadbare, shapeless
aok. after using the magic stuff, he has
.loomed into the pink Of tailoring perfection
cule1 the following advertisement from
Jne Of the New York papers;
AS collector or salesman-Slirl, sleek
slender, sharp, shrewd, sensible, sarcastic
Yank, seeks a situation 10 some store notice
the attractive whizzing Of the s'sl, hotel or
Office, as collector or salesman has highest
references, and push and cheek OF an army
mule, can sell goods or collect bills with any
man on the continent Of North America
Bucks county, Pennsylvania, included
The next specimen is an idyl Its entitled
Her Heart and Cottage"
For hou,s she was lost in ecstasy. gains
nto her lovers EYES. How beautiful you
arer she said and how happy you look
rarllng, say that 1t Is ! who am the Gauss Of
your happiness The handsome young man
tanderly kissed the hpsof his dear one. Yes,
he said, 1t is because you love me that am
50 happy, but owe my look Of resplendent
health 10 Dr. Smiths strip. ~
On hair dresser's shop read: "Tonsorial
Palace-Professor Rogers has your hair cut
under his own supervision. How is il cuti-
As You like it Shakespeare
President Cleveland, wishing one day 20 see
iscertain circus performances, sent to retain
box. The circus proprietor Immediately
hired, and sent about the streets OF the town,
a small army Of sandwich men, carrying ali
advertisement worded as follows;
The president of tho United States with his
young and beautiful wife will honor the cir
Gus with their presence this evening"
There was such demand tor seats that
hundreds Of people were refused. but Mr. and
Mrs Cleveland, having heard that their
names had served as an advertisement, did
not appear
After the performance, a great part Of the
audience demanded the return Of half their
entrance money on the ground that the pro
gramme bad not been carried out In its en-
tirety, since the president and his wife had
not made their appearance as the spectators
Sad been led to expect.
The circus manager was obliged TO REIN
burse. says the paper from which | extract
the account
Never lay aside an American newspaper
without looking over the advertisements
Ten TO one you viii DO rewarded for your
patience
There are travelling doctors In America
who 20 from town to town to heal tho sick at
reduced prices
Here is the advertisement Of one Of these
and appears in the papers Of tho towns be
operates upon:
DIR X. has already remained In M
longer than he first intended, but at the TO
quest Of numerous individuals and friends he
will extend his stay one week longer Pa
tients In other towns have been disappointed
by bis long stay in NJ, bur they have his
assurance that this visit will not DO extended
beyond the time stated aboven
This stereotyped advertisement has flavor
OF the drum and eymbals OF the mountebarlk.
Walk up, ladies and gentlemen walk up and
show your tongues and have your pulses felt
Further down, this same medical gentle
man falls into the style OF the chimney sweep,
anxious to enlarge his connection; "He thanks
his many friends and patrons for the kind
ness and patronage bestowed upon him, and
trusts. by pursuance Of the same honorable
business and professional methods and efforts,
10 fully merit a continuance OF same"
In the smoking room OF the Gertnanic one
day an American, who sat near me, said, ad-
dressing me:
Il believe you ars going to America to
lecture sirf
Yes replied, II am"
WHO Is booming your show, may askf"
DO aid n the most natural way in tho world.