The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-04-17
Extracts from Jonathan and his Con-
tinent.
EY MAN O'RELL.


But let us take our seats ut the table
d'hote of the best hotel in any second
rate town that you please in Pcnnssyl'
vania, Ohio, Indiana, or some other
State i'm the Union.
No printed menu. \ young woman,
with IN elaborate iilure of curls,
rolls and bangs, but no cap, ap-
proaches, darts Il look of contempt al
you and, turning her back upon you.
gabblcs OFT in one breath
"Croutaup0turhn shrimp sauce r'n'$i
heefturkey cranberry sauce potatoes to-
matoesappletartminccpicvanillacrram..
Do not attempt To stop her; she l.
wound up, and when sl!e is started Is
bound to go to the end. You must not
hope that she will repeat the menu Il
second time either. If you did not
hear, so much the worse for you. IN
fortunately the consequences are
grave; it is not one dish that you miss
it is the whole dinner. You are OBJ
liged to order all your repast at once.
and the whole is brought you, from
soup to cheese, at one time.
I was so i'll inspired one day as to or
der some soup to begin with. Inc
waitress refused downright to bring
me anything more.
THAT is all you ordered" she said
to me. "Iou do not suppose l cal
make twenty journeys to the kitchen
for you"
rose and sought the hotel keeper.
made the humblest apologies, plead
ed that | was a foreigner who had on
ly been in America q fortnight, an"
was not yet accustomed to the haoltS
of the Americans. l promised sol
emnly never to transgress again III
this way. Mine host went TO the
young person who was at the head OF
the battalion of harpies in the dining
room, and interceded for me with her.
had the happiness of being forgiven,
and was allowed to appease my hun
ger.
From that day forward, as soon as
one of these witching damsels began
her incarnation, I cried OUT
Hold! Enough! Bring it all in.'
Then | would eat the least dlstaSte-
ful Of the messes and leave the rest. l
can assure you the hotel did not make
much profit out of me.
This is how the dinner is served:
Tie duchess" begins by tlinginG, a
spoon and knife and fork down on the
table in front of you. 1t is for you to
set them straight, and l would ADVISE
you to do SO without any murmnring.
When you have taken your soup, the
said duchess" brings you a plate,
around which she places dozen little
oval dishes in symmetrical fashion
that one can but admire.
The first little dish contains fish and
q teaspoonful of sauce Of some kind.
1t is needless to inquire the name OF
this sauce. All the fish sauces are the
same only the name varies. The sec
ond apparently contains Il little lump
of raw beef; the third a slice OF roasj
turkey; the fourth mashed potatoes
the fifth :; stewed tomato, the sixth
cranberry sauce, the seventh chicken
salad, the eigth some rice pudding.
and the last contains (horribilc dictu !!
slice Of apple tart, with 4 large help
ing of cheese in the middle of IT.
These two things are eaten together
and are consequently served on the
same dish.
You begin at the left. The first pre-.
sents 10 obstacles but its bones and Is
soon disposed Of You turn your ut.
tention to the next dish OF the right
and attack the beef. 1t is inpregna'
ble, you can make no impression upon
it. You pass. The turkey is not ob'
durate and you fall to on that, making
little raids on the potatoes, tomatoes
and cranberry sauce between eacl
mouthful. Thanks to the many eli
mates of America (the thermometer
varies in winter from - above zero IL
south to IS below in the north), you
have turkey and cranberry sauce al
the winter, strawberries six months O
the year and tomatoes all the yeal
round.
Oh, the turkey and cram berry sauce
ate enough Of that dish to satisfy MT
for the rest of my days. No more tur
key and cranberry sauce for me
though should live to he a hundred
Of course all the meats, plarel
around your plate, soon begin to cool
and YOU have no choice but TO hol
your food, diving with knife and fori
into the little dishes right and left a
deXterously as you can.
Finally you come to the apple tar
OIL the eAlIellJC llSut. 1'u N'NiSiui ~ .
lift the cheese and, placing 1t aside
prepare to eat your sweets without thl
strange seasoning. Unhappily tn,
pastry has become imprcgnatcd will
an odor of roquefort, and again yol
pass. a vanilla cream terminate
your repast.
Having disposed of this, you asl
yourself why, in a free country, yol
may not have your various course
served one after the other. why yol
must bolt your food and bring Oh indi
gestion, and above all why the mama
ger of the hotel, in his own interest Il
a man of business, does not before al
else study the comfort Of his custom
ers. The answer is not difficult t.
find. 1t is the well being of th'
"duchess,n and not that of the travel
ers, that he devotes his attention t'
studying. The traveller is obliged t.
come to his house, and he can trea
him anyhow. His ''helps' will onl.
consent to stay with him, on condition
he gives them heavy wages and lgil
i duties.