davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04
aovssRaSSt aud Stale bonds dGII but steady,
BONDS AND STOCK QvoTATIOSs-cLosED mn


NEW YORR, Jan. a-RlOur, receipts 1917 pack
ages exports l2,3s1 barrels aud Lass Slcks; lnRr
ketAGady. Wheat Quicii receipts $50 bushels
sales 5000 200 bushels Of futures and l3,OO bush
81 OOI4; no, | white 81 Oh 80. red 81 0S|st
options strong aud higher No. = rcd January
NlagO)sc, closing at VI O2si February u 0ll
Oh, closing NJ VIZ March y pl.al OSS
81 o. June 81 '0ijlal VI, closing itSl Oh. Rye
heayyj western dIAblc, Corn, receipts 2S0,O0O
bushels; exports $3.50 bushels sales S0l,OO0
bushels OF futures and 10000 bushels OF spot;
spot market fairly active; ungraled mixed on,
47cj OptI0ns, weak january, i75sci February
i65y$RiGC, closing ~ 1885, March iGIalIGiC; May
il5EC, Oats, receipts $1,000 bushels; exports
III bushels; sales di60OO bushels Of futures and
l2l 900 bushels OF spot; market fairly active spot;
no; white do SlaS9lzc; No. 9 Chicago ;i2[ic.
Hay aud hops steady. Coffee, steady Ut 46,iN
p0lnls above yesterday; January lb.aOGlb,1Oc;
February, March and April l53OalI75ci May,
June and july. lh&al 800; August, September,
October and November li.7Oil6l6ei spot Rio
stronger ut l7,99jG. Sugar, refined u shade lower,
MOlHsSps firm. Rice quiet, 1nllOW, TOsn and
turpCntlne steady. Eggs weak NJ lOc, Pork and
cut meats easier. Lard lower; western steam
1906; February 1879; March 7.tSC; April 200;
Mny 71ac; June IIGc. butter weak; western
dairy llA9ic; do creamery lSaaNC. Cheese steady;
western l0allhC,
CHICAGO, jan, 9l-ThcrG was no new develop
ments, and the wheat market was governed prin.
Cipnlly by local Influences Corn, moderately
active. Oati weaker. Provisions fairly active,
Flour unchanged. Wheat, cash easy; No, 2SprlnB
yg1icaSl OOi No, spring s3agOc; No. red yyIIJCR
81 "; January 9Sl casl W, closing Ut 81 90: MAJ
81 O350al OS closing ut 81 0Jy4; July QAAgGc, clos
ing at Ode, Corn, cash No, =, ,siA.B q; january
;iGnEEj{C, closing vt Slsc; March $50; May
b54c Oats, cash No, ., 9ijtc; January 9lsSc; May
CSC Rye, No. ., iOhc, flnxheed q o. Timothy
iced 81 Lgal b., Mess pork, eish aud january
si9 81 !al9 rs; March 9l9 W; May sla %, Lard,
cash. aud January 7.97lsc; March 7S7YGc; May
7.L7lSC. bacon, short ribs BGjC; shoulders G.75l
1.S71Sc. Whisky 81 o. butter neglected; fancy
creamery sc; good to choice g1A23C fine dalrlCs
gll21c, Eggs dull atlTHc.
CINCINNATI, Jan. .9,-Flour steady. Wheat
active and stronger; No. . red DSc. Corn lrmort
No. 9mixGl 3GC, Oats firm; No. 2 mixed 27JEC,
Rye ilrmi No. ., DC, Pork quiet. Lard duh,
Whisky active Ut 81 VI. Butter, sugar aud cheese
quiet Eggs dull al l6c.
TOLEDO, Jan. 3,-WhcaL active; cash 81 Ola
lU5H; May 81 o., Corn dull; cash 80. Oats
guleti cash TIC. CloYGnccd active; February
IS ~; March 50 SIX,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04
pALTIM0RE &OHIo RAILROAD

l., SfIs 10 ~ y
u SeSt SGV . w iS iS M Time
M Si nj, s,io J"iy ana y II.iS m S"Ily
nIlno,t u t,tS ~ u"'i'I NHu 'i'Ao ~ uA'y
e1Fsy Tp,ss W. tor,, mos
daily, Ii :lS y m daily. cxeept SstITIsy, 4V' :"
FoT GoIa ss sS an I so d S91I and
4, M = ~ hii o'oo WY iv,s2 w T1iiSb Anu
dDI, p w. Mg Sagvl Esa'u'uay' Ahu -'+op
MY !nr vAVSE ~. sVuuuEyi n ~ p.,,,..
= . y nuu GEW iOIhi w e'OOA
asi hRa O'lOp M daily Via Pittsburgh O'0P' M
u'i w p,,,s,,,..h !, ,t,..,.,.., N. r.no
dsIiw. r c4ntHss a9a mat ,sI1gg "a DIV
e~ctynt snisy' [J,ttI,Hai ", ;.nI a. I
bI ny ~ NJ uhRIiy eAGept sEnnuay,
~ " mniHSIi9n' bStinore aHd
CoIum bi,s and n. IN Cincinn S ga, m sundov
o,i, i"iA"Na anu N'le'uuaN' -" MI suuuAy
opFi w; Moura.vn,o s,o a ~ ana ,o,co ro,,
sur MuuHuhVlliei DIV M hnu ls!Vu uOOnI
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04
tsCop,umptlon inCurableS

Read the following. Mr.. O. II.
Morris, Newark, Ark, says! twas down
with absCess Of lungs, and friends and
physlClans pronounced inc On incurable
cohsumptlvc. Began taking DR.. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption, am
now on my third bottle, and able "a
oversee the work on my farm. tits the
finest medicine ever made"
Jesse MiddlewArt, Decatur, Ohio, says
tllad II not been for DR.. Kings New
Discovery for Consumption ! would
have died Of lung troubles. Was given
mp by doctors, Am now In best D
hOalth.n Try II. Sample bottles free a
Logan 4 Co.'s drug store. D
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

Familiar Fellow Tapping dlgnl1ed
old gentleman on tho 6houlder)-Aln't
my face familiar 10 your Old Gentle.
man brushing him olf)-lpH not alone
your face that's familiar You are al.
together tho most familiar man l ever
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

BuRLtNonAM, N. Y, May 81, $50.
g. g. GREEN, Dear Sir:-I am fro.
quently troubled with severe colds, and
the on y remedy that will relieve mo Of
them Is your Boschee's German Syrup.
l have used 1t for more than twelve
years. II Is a constant household COM
panlon with me. Our merchant here
procured II first at my solicitation, and
says he has sold a great many bottles. 1t
Is a very popular remedy In this section.
Every person who has used itBpGaks In
tho highest terms Of iLs merits. do
not know OF a single caso II has not
cured. l first used II In Vermont, where
| lived before coming hero. advise
everyone 10 use II, as II is certainly the
best cough medicine haveevGr known.
| have tried nearly all Of them at differ.
ent times. Yours respectfully,
MOSES GRAY,
Proprietor Grlst Mill.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04
l,uckion's ArnIea snlye.

Tho best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt.rlleum, lever
sores, letter, Chapped hands, Chilblains,
corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles, or no pay required.
1t is guaranteed to give perfect satisiac.
ton, or money refunded. Price 25 cents
per box. For sale by Logan & 90.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04
FINANCE AND TRADE.
Tho Features of me Money and stock Mar

Ngw YoRK, jan, s,-NonCy easy ut sas per
cent, closed offered at spcF cent Prime meF'
cautIlc paper 6O6JS per cent. sterling exchange
duh but steady at 81 si.4al ssyi. Sales Of stocks
lgO.iIi shares.
Tie stock market was dull hut iGvOrlsh and
weak to-day for everything except coal sloCksl
though the grangep were the only ones OUTSIDE
Of New England which showed any decided weak
ness. First prices were generally slight fractions
below the dual figures OF yesterday but there M'ls
some demand for stocks IN tho early trading JeT'
SOY Central developing marked strength. Prices
moved up IN sympathy AL around, though tlF
small inGtlDns only with the one exceptions
Before noon all the cATlygllns were wiped oul,
the weakness continued aud everything retired
10 below the opening figures, No Change no.
CURED until we'll Into tho afternoon, when leT'
soy Central again made q squirt and carried !be
rest OF the list 10 small fraction. The market
finally closed quiet and fairly steady, generally
At fractional declines,
Government aud State bonds duh but steady,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

There be those going to California to
sec the eclipse who would never go that
far to SEQ California. The arrangement
for holding the eclipse in that State Is
undoubtedly big immigration scheme.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

NEw YORK, Jan. 3.-Pctroeum opened firm al
SS1EC, but after first sales the announcement Of d
reduction IN the price Of refined TO 20 caused Il
sharp decline to SGJse The market then rallied
md closed firm at SI9ici sales l,O0jO CO barrels.
OH CRY, Pa, jan. 3,-opcnCd at $50; high.
est SS1SCi lowest SGJkc closed at S79SG kllCI
nenM a. AZ barrels; runs H,lSJ barrels.
BRADFORD, Jan. 3-OpCned ut SSIlc; lowest
SGIsci highest ssISc; closed NJ S7Eici GlCAranCcs
lOl, 40 barrels.
PIrrsBURGII, jan. a. Petroleum iaIrly active;
opened ~ sS3sc; closed at SI9Sci highest SSaScj
lowest SG1SC.
TITUsyILLE, Jan. 3-opCnCd at Ss)Ec; highest
sS9sc; lowest sG94c; closed ut ST5Ic.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

the demand Is improving. Prices steady tO'ilrni.
No immediate activity for a change looked for.
hut few western buyers yet In tho market. It
will take agentsa month or moro 10 I'LL orders
now on their books.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

When Baby was sick, we gave her Ca,torIa,
When she was a Child. she cried for Cutoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to castorIa,
When she had Children, she gave them castOrlal
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

IIIAvE been treated for catarrh by en-
inent physicians, but nothing has ever
benefited mo like Ely's Cream BALM
Mrs. !. A. Lewis, 1876 Chippewa street,
New Orleans, In.
ELY's CREAM BALM Is tho best medicine
for catarrh l have ever used.-Alrs. o.
Woods, Mexia, Texas.
l FIND Ely's Cream Balm good for
catarrh OF long standinR.-M. N. Lasley,
1914 West Chestnut street, Louisville,
Ky. NwFAw
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04
TRAVELLERS GUIDE.

A RRIYAL AND DEPARTURE OF
IA gRAlNs.,on and after Nov. Is, lSSs--S
day excepted. MONDAY excepted. jSapii Law
SSSeepled Sunday only, saturday only
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

A sloop supposed to DO 800 years old
was recently discovered near ono OF the
Bahama Islands. II is a genuine old
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

Through Tickets and Baggage Checked to all
". J. ROBINSON, dcn'I paw. Agent,
FRED HUsEMAN, TINY, Pass. Agent
Wheeling ~ Vn
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

TIE endorsement Of German Syrup Is
unparalleled. We will publish 1000 les.
timonials received during tho last six
months. Read them. May save Your
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

Tho little girl who wrote on her exam.
ination papers, "The interior Of Africa
is principally used for purposes OF explo.
ration" WIS wiser than she thought.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04
Railroads..

WHEELING & ELM GROVE II. r..
w Onnnd after Saturday, October 10, iSSS,
Will run ~ follows;
LEAVE WHEELING:
b;I0 q. M, 7:COG, m. va M, II 100 a. M, 1850 u,
M. $50 p. IN, 6;2Dp M, 7:OO p. M, 900 y, m.
LEAyg WHEELING FARK:
6lOa, M, 7:i5 II. N lO:OOR M, 1890 M, $50
p N i;g r. M, $40 y. M, 500 y, M, 1890 y, IN,
run III follows Leave the city ut i 100 Il. M, and
run every hour until 0lbp IN, Leave Wheeling
Park Ut 300 a, m, and run every hour until 10
y. NJ. Except church train viii leave Park at
n:45 q. IN. aud city NJ 1915 p. m.
nO2t @, HlRsCH. Stunt
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

One Of Augustus embryo Presidents
recently Convulsed his teacher by de.
timing volcano US "tho interior Of the
earth thrown out through the side Of
mountain"
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04
Read tho Following Homo Tcotl-
monlals:

vt james shaw,Nu, IS TWenty,SCv uuthEtrCOl
hh' hu bladder mud female troubles for i've
Yeas Wss tlUird by thirteen physicians, got no
better suliuTul HEnnirs ut DEATH took all Kinds
ni mrisIrg. 'tlli siyw wore, uelrlhOrs niGti Ia
hear her ri'lll erie. nights, not sleep unlC,s
Hnipr wu1hIru lor years. She treated with
~ Wilbur but short time NHi feels Ike new
WuulHu, has ma pain Guil sleeps well NIGHTS and
hku mn morphine She states nr. Wilbur has
given bet how lelsc NJ lie,
Nf' Is hatlur Wuntcr. No. GO National Road
By hl iuWpt on the edge OF her eyplid for
llty Year,, which was removed by nr. Wilbur.
lppU.lIun rendered the operation an extreme
BdrlIadico one, nevertheless Il was done IN less
than minute,
IHnE Frrsl, No 800 Main street. was cross,
eyed II ycar, nr. Wilbur made them straight
10 nr ninnic without palm.
l0'ci b Ulinct Sn,,N Hanc street; Mary Long,
GA tNiplun street; William Atndt, gln7
Hmi!ht
Ms GtaclC jackson, corner FortlCth aud
WOnl streets lad u iUmOr for sixteen years,
which lmlhih'ncl considerable size. Dr. WI.
Duo removed II Hild she speaks very highly Oi
ihcoWmlpn,
,.Nis thmcr nrummOnA, who resides In
kltAvnod bad la large wnlc removed from huI
lace hN MEATS pl plaster, Tho operation wa,
penruncl ~ Dr. Wilbur Mrs. DfummOnd
sMl' ,ht llar' illS mode NJ procedure much
better lhan the knife as II gnY0 hot no tain.
No iitnhah food, No. ~ Market street. has
uecl 'lrA lIr years, bltnt hundreds Of dollars
HO' no itllC- w physician knew wbnt her dis
euc Waa, pE Wilbur give her some medicine
Gnl w a lew hOuts shp passed 4 lie lnpG worm
woman
TIE ahovc91T only few Of the many tCstlmo
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

plTTsBuRGH, CINCINNATI 4 ST.
A LOUIS RAILWAY CO.-PanhandiO RouiG
Under. schedule III effect August 0, 1888. traluB
leave Wheeling, Central STANDARD time. FOR
bleubcnVillu Plltbufgh aud the East, 6:21 n. nj,
l?B. u nj, $40 y m. and $40 y. m. FOR COluin.
DhH, Cincinnati, indianapolis and III. Louis 6.2O
= ~. and $40 y, N. For Columbus aud Chicago
l2iBJ u N. TfAlns arrive ut Wheeling NJ b;b0
a ~, lOiOQ q, M, $40 y. IN. aud $50 H. NJ,
Trains leaving Of O!eD q. m, and arriving $40
I. mi run solid between Wheeling aud Pitts.
glIgn. All ltalns daily except sunday. hu7
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04
rnR NAME FixRD.

Mr.. Battello--1 desire to make a single
remark, assigning the consideration that
will chiefly control my vote on the mat.
ter now before the convention. II ID
thisi Not only did the ordinance passed
by the convention fix tho name, but Il
has been ratified by solemn vote Of the
people. And find, 30 far On under.
stand my powers and duties here, no
warrant 10 10 behind that vote Of the
people, II may 10 very probable thai
there Ia some dissatisfaction with thai
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04
Photography.
Steamship Tickets.
ONLY ya5 ~ 10 NApLEsi

tom iI,S NV iWs 70 liNytc by rrcncl, steamer,
lom @HSlI s,S iG6nSS,llg. ny iall aud BY siCGmci
'WAe,giy Saturday. ~ '''""V'' lu"Nu nov
In E,totH ,biotmAllonanl fares 10 other piAgc
''O'' ~ Wrlvc lines lngnirc oi '''''' '''''
der II, q BBtiRENg,
S1lsas-ss-- I'M MnflOi gtFpNt
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

CLEVELAND & PITTSBURGH
iu HAlh,tK NA Under schedule In eject Nov
hfi tmei For llliAblfRl, Chicago aid t'ipye.
land, iib0h n, For PllliGnFgh, iOa2 n m, Tsi.
V w avg Gleyel1nd. lil2pin. FOR PliVbursb
IN. For Martins Ferry, Bilb m. u'0'
TTAlnH arrive NJ bridgeport al Via n m. IN IN
M l2iS pm, 4A5 10, li67 j m, aud viz y y a..
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

Mr.. Stuart, Of DOddridgc- Tho gcntlo-
man from Wood ptcdIcated his argu.
mOnls on tho technical grounds that this
namo was q matter Of CompromlSo In the
committee. We'll now, Is this body to
Stultiiy the voice Of thSlr constituents
tho whole people Of Northwestern VIZ
pihih, heCatisO four or 1--WE In q commit
loe room made a compromised ] doho'
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1889-01-04

OHIO RIVER RAILROAD.-TINlE
" Table taking effect ----, 1888. PasScn.
Ger tnlus will run as iollOws-CCntral Time.
All trains daily except those marked thuGt
Which do not run on Sunday:
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1889-02-09
The Largest River.

The st. Lawrence river constitutes
the largest body of fresh water in the
world. Including the lakes and
streams, which it comprises in its
widest acceptance, it covers, accord
ing to the loves estimate, fully $4,000
square miles and as nearly the
whole Of this area averages consider
able more than 600 feet in depth, the
aggregate represents more than 5000
solid miles of water. 1t offers to
vessels a continuous line ofabout 1000
miles of inland navigation. The
Amazon, of course, drains a much
greater area of territory and is in
every respect the largest drivers, eX-
cepting only that, in volume of con.
tents as distinguished from volume
ofdischarge, the st. Lawrence with
Its lakes surpasses all the rest. The
Mississippi has length of 1886 miles
to its mouth, and for the whole dis
lance the river averages 5000 feet
wide and is from rs to 100 feet deep.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1889-02-09
Never Bets on His Own Horse.

They tell good story Of man who has q
fondness for fast horses. A year or two ago
he had one that was said TO be flyer" and
marvellous stories were told about what she
had done, and was capable of doing. But
an intimate friend noticed that the owner of
the wonderful horse never staked any
money on her
"Why don't you back her for good,
round sum if she can do what you say che
CAM" he asked. 81 hat would prove that
you had confidence in her but as it is"
See here, my friend" said the other, with
twinkle in his eye, don't you know me
well enough to know that Pm too modest to
bet on my own nag, especially when / feel
sure that she can't come out aheadW
When a man knows he can accomplish
what he undertakes he doesn't feel too mod.
est to say so. When DR.. Pierce put his Fa.
vorite Prescription before the public as a
certain cure for all female diseases, with
Satisfaction guaranteed or money refund
ed' on every bottle of it, it proved that he
hadentire confidence in the preparation. lie
felt sure of its merits, and the testimony OF
thousands Of women who have been cured
by it of weakness" irregularities" and all
the distressing diseases from which their
sex suffers so much, proves that his faith
was well founded.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1889-02-09
A Farmers Combine.

The Atlanta Constitution thus tells
of the "Pettitt Creek farmers Club"
in Georgia, and thinks it solves the
farmers problem:
Here are fourteen farmers who club
together to get the advantage of CO.
operation. They buy on joint note,
get heavy discounts, are at peace
with the world and solicited by mer-
chants. They farm on self-support.
ing basis, and the man who planted
all cotton would be elbowed out OF
the club. They meet monthly to
compare experiments and arrange
plans for the future. They are out Of
debt ond have nothing to buy except
few groceries and dry goods.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1889-02-09
AN ENVELOPE WASTED.
4 Fathers Reckless and Inexcus8ble En-
travagancs and Forget fulness.

4 Fathers Reckless and Inexcusable En-
travaRance and Forgetfuiness.
The marriage ceremony had been
performed; the guests had departed,
and the last vestigc OF sumptuous
repast was even now being slowed
away under the blue coat of guardian
Of the night.
The bride WIS taking an inventory
of the pickle casters, and the groom
had Just left the house ostensibly for
the purpose of smoking cigar, but
really to seek his father, at whose
door he was about 10 lay charge of
awful import.
Father" said the young man, and
the aged parent trembled with appre-
hension as he noted the stern visage
and heard the cold, harsh tone,
father, do you know what you havo
done?"
What is it, my son? Tell me the
worst"
This night you gave me check for
FIVE thousand dollars as wedding
gift"
80 did, and ought to have made
1t ten thousand dollsrs. Oh, my son,
/ am very, very sorry"
"Yes. you ought to have made it ten
thousand dollars, but" he added grim
". at is too late nov. But that is not
ALL"
'NOh, heavens I can not endure
further censure," gasped the miser-
able old man.
1T pains me beyond measure to
thus torture you, but, father, your
conduct has been characterized by a
reckless extravaganza that can not be
too severely condemned"
I'm what way, my dear son?" asked
the afflicted parent, family.
You placed the check in an cnvo-
lope, did you nOt?'
Il did
"And it was white envelope, was il
not?"
1T was, il was"
why would not Il common buff en-
velopc answered just AS we'll? cal
overlook your forgetfulncss in filling
out the check incorrectly, but that yol
should have wasted good white Gu
velope on it is really inexcusablc."
But the old man had swooned ava.
ere the son had finished. 1t was al
too true. In a needless moment b,
had wasted q white envelope on u snid,
wedding check. -7erGs Syttngs.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1889-02-09
ANDARD- McNlINNVILLE TENNESSEE O. $780,
FULL OF FUN.


--"Why are you al~ays SO blue,
Scribbler?" Because" said the au-
thor, 'Im SO seldom red. ~ Harper's
BdZdr.
--Facetious Customer 60 Waiter)-
do you ever entertain the nobility in
this rcstaurautm Waiter (who writes
little puns and such for a daily paper)
Mot when they have no 'bility to
pay. "-ltraS SittiaqS.
Mrs. Golddust-"Will you kindly
excuse my daughters delay, Herr
Wachtamrhein? She is dressing for q
german Herr Wachtamrhein (mak-
ing an evening calD--"Oh, matam, it
vas pity she should change her dress
on my account. "--Amcrjca.
This is, indeed, hand-to-mouth
existence" sighed the druggist, as he
tore off and licked the postage stamp
for q chance customer "I'm also do
ing light business" said the man at
the cigar counter; "at least my gas-jet
seems to be the only thing wanted by
half the men who come in. n-Pacb.
Mistress Are the eggs ready,
Bridget" Maid Faith, an they're
not. ! had no clock to tell me the
right tihio whom to put them in. :"
Mistress -"But there is one hanging in
the kitchen" Maid-'Sure, | know
that, but it's quarter av an hour fast,
so it is. "--Jcaoeiers' Weekly
In descending the stairs Bobby's
loot slipped and he and the coal hod
which he was carrying ratified to the
bottom. Here, here shouted the
old man from the parlor, what's up
out there?' "Nothing's up, pa, shout
cd back Bobby, who wasn't much hurt,
every things down"-E2ock.
"A German professor says that
thirty-tive flashes OF common lightning
would keep an incandescent lamp burn
ing for an hour. Owing TO the diff
Guilty of capturing a flash of lightning,
and preserving it until wanted, persons
who use incandescent lamps will con-
tinue to depend upon electricity at so
much per lamp. NorrtStODn Herald.
-Hongrcc-"Jane, | wish you would
serve some of your nice appetizing
corn-fritters at breakfast tomorrow
morning." Cook--"Indade then, Oh
won't" Hongree--"No? Why notP''
Cook-"Shure, tn missis bees ondly
jist afther tillin me ov Oh frittherei
awoy inny more o me time she'd dis
charrudge me, sorr, 80 she wud."-
brakes Magazine.
Squire Oatcake lin New York
post-office) Hey ye got any letters
for me?" Clerk (ssvagely) who's
me? l don't know you" Oatcake-
"Wa-al, you're purity Teller to be
DRAWN big salary for sassin' the
people who are taxed to pay yer! Look
a-here, young man; our postmaster up
to Squeehswket don't GIT more'n ferty
dollars year, an he knows me every
time come roundw-Judge.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1889-02-09
Fatal Poison.

For years was afflicted with
Poisoned Blood, which, it seemed,
would result fatally, as nothing
seemed to benefit me at all. At
length l found myself in bed, a COM
plete wreck. My body swollen out
of proportion, covered with scales,
and the pains and itching made life
almost uncomfortable. The physicians
failed to do me any good, and l was
about to give up in despair when l
began taking Swift's Specific. This
medicine has cured me sound and
well, and nothing else did it but
8. s. s. REV. r. U. MITCHELL.
Pastor Cid. NJ. Z. Church.
Macon, Ga, Sept. s, 1888.
SWIFT 8 SPECIFIC is entirely veg
etable remedy, and is the only medi-
cine which permanently cures scrofu-
la, Blood Humors, Cancer and Con.
tagious Blood Poison. Send for books
on Blood and Skin Diseases, mailed
free. THESWIFT SPECIFIC CO.,
Drawer 8, Atlanta, Ga.