The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-06
BRIGHT BITS.

PLEASANT ALTERNATIVE. - The Dentists
daughter who hears her father apDroaching)-
On, dear Edward, here comes my father. II be
should IND us together here, we are lost On
ne IS comingi You will have either to ask for
ny hand or-let him pull out tooth for you
Fiegende Batter
"Do YOU like the Greek poets?' asked Hiss
= Lheodosia Thudoington of Brown, who is not
Ia the least literary
Yes, better than any OF the modern poets ="
For what reasons"
Principally because they are all dead. =
Merchant Traveller.
AN agricultural exchange saws the best supnr
oects are grown in sandy soil We thought so;
lhat accounts for the sand in the sugar and
mere we have been uniustly accusing the honest
grocer. We take 1t all back and Will 20 right
on paying l3 cents pound for bar sand without
a nlurmur. BUrdette.
EDITHA CoRSER-Papa, what do the newspa-
ners mean by coal ring, salt ring and whisky
Mr. Wheatly Corner-That is one formed to
prevent rival enterprise
Editha-ls that it, Why, that is Just like an
engagement ring!-Sdn Francisco Wasp.
FIRST BRoKER-Jlnks is financially embar
him?
second Broker-Hayen't YOU heardY"
First Broker--Ro; what is itg
Second Broker-Hls wife buys all her goods at
bargain Philadelphia Inquirer,
Mr. OhEAT1EAD AcOai ana ice UeQiarl-l didD 4
sell as much coal last winter as usual
Mrs. Greatnead-Too bad Your customers
must have some money left which you would
have had if the weather had b .ea cooler
Yes, they have, but shall raise the price of
ice and get il away from them before fall -
Neto York Weekly
AGED NEW YoRKER-rve often wondered
what became OF my playmate Will WinkeI.
whose parents removed to Philadelphia while
he was very young Sixty years ago he was an
N n Mo- gFv, =
haven't heard of him since.
Phiadelphan taStonished)-Well, why don L
you 90 to The store and inquire? Most likely he
is there yet.-NetC York u eekEu.
AYEwsPAPER correspondent wants to see the
women of America rise in their might and
beauty and forswear the Elster bonnet The
Easter bonnet is all right. That is worn to
church. Something more to the purpose would
be for the men of America to rise in their
might and wrath and swear at the theatrical
bonnet. ?. S.-Come to think about it, great
many of EN- do.-NoTrtstolUI Herald.
JoRNNIE's FATHER is republican, and he is
better posted on politics than he is on Sunday
schools, though he goes to Sunday school. Last
Sunday the teacher came around to him "How
long werethe children of Israel in the desert?''
she asked.
-Four years. he answered promptly.
-Four years." repeated the teacher in inquir-
ing SURPRISE.
.Yesim; four years--from 1885 to 1889.
Washington Critic.
PRESIDENT HARRISON Elijah, I notice that
the papers have good deal to say about our
foreign relations.
Mr. Halford-Yes, your excellency.
"They say that the administration should pay
especial attention to them
yes. your excellency."
We'll, just make a note Of it. When we get
oil our home relations provided for Wen see
what can be done for our foreign connections. y
-BostoR Transcript.
EDITH AND HER CONSCIENCE Edith's aunt
said she might get four caramels from a plate
in the closet am very sorry to say that she
took Ave; but she wasn't quite happy while eat
ing them. She was very still for some time, and
then asked:
''Auntie does God know how many caramels
took?''
''Yes Edith"
After another long silence she broke out:
"Weli shouldn't think he'd maze such a
fuss about one caramel Wide Asuake