Morning journal and courier., 1889-02-01
DUST.

Pan is not dead, and, therefore, is not a
 dust pan.-Puck.
 Astronomers probably use globe sights
 when hunting for new worlds.-Puck.
 Europe is as peaceful as the mining camp,
 where every man is dead shot. Puck.
 Tough looking stranger-Ahem! Is there
 poor farm in this town, misters
 Old farmer (painfully y)-Nothin' but poor
 farms. b'gosh-nothin' else. - Burlington
 Free Press.
 Mrs. De Temper-"WeIl, deolare And
 so you are as old as my husbands Why, you
 look 20 years younger. Does your wife look
 young, tooa' MT. Hailfellow-stI never mar
 ried. .-Star.
 "How do you like your new cooka' ''Not
 at all Everything is underdone that comes
 from her hands," "Ah! then you ought to
 let her join g Browning society. ."-Boston Saturday Gazette
 Sour-faced lady-I can't give you money,
 sir. I have been fooled too often. All can
 do is to lend my countenance to the scheme. Agent (sadly)-That would simply ruin it, ma'am.-Burlington Free Press. Aspiring Author-'sOf course you are fond of poetry, are you not, Miss Whipperlyg' Miss Whipperly--"My maid is, believe; but let us talk of something serious; tell me all about the entries for the dog show. ."--Life. The Modern Way.-Silberstein Con whom
  I hev leedle more time, mein frents" The l sherif-'Not by blamed sight, This is one of them executions by 'lectricity you've read of."-Puck.
 "John," said wife to her husband, as she l looked up from the morning paper, "what is 1 a coastwise steamer?" IA coastwise steam CT, my dear? Why, coastwise steamer is one that knows how to keep off the rocks l along the coast. ."-The Spotted Cayuse, Seat | tie, w. T. ...-,..-.-..-.. Lady Thyra (reading catalogue)-"Two dogs, after Lsndseer." Lady Myrs-"But l where is Landseer? I don't see him." Lady | Thyra-"Why, surely, yon don't suppose he l would stay there with those two ferooious l looking brutes after him. know I shouldn't I if were in his place."-Pick Me Up. l Young author-'Doctor, if can't get relief l from writer's cramp shall have to give up l my literary work. I have come to you for l advice" Doctor (who has read some of his l literary work)-''My young friend, quit writ | ing entirely and relief, mot only instantaneous 1 but widespread, will follow. Chicago Trib- une.
 Mrs; Hayseep Gin hotel dining room)-What | bright light those lamps give! Mir. Hayseed (whispering)-Sa gas jets, Marier; them sin't lamps Mrs. Hayseed Qoudly)-Yes, as was say l ing, what bright light the gas jets give; guess they're fresh trimmed.-New York Weekly.
 Miss Fletcher (of Chicago)-Oh, dear, Nelly! | I'm in fix. Young Mrs. Wentworth has | invited me to conversazione, and I'm not l up at all in those things. What do you do, 1 Nelly, when you are invited to & conversa- zionel
 Miss Pearline(of Cincinnatf- always stay l away.-Judge.
 Mistress-"Why, Bridget, what in the l world are you doing with my new dress ont" | Bridget-"Sure, mum, it's yerself what gave 1 it to mea' Mistress-"I gave it to youa" | Bridget-"Yis; yez said Oi cud have it as soon as yez had worn it ont, an begorra yez l wore it out yestherday afthernoon.--Phila- l delphia Press.
 1 'fOh, the terrible pawnshopsl' said the actress to Paperwate, who had rescued her ! diamonds. ''What tales of misery these
 places could unfold had they tongues!" 1 "Even pawnshop has it's redeeming feat ure," responded Paperwate. 1 ftWhat is it, I'd like to know1" l "The ticket "-Life