Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1889-07-10
THE BowSER FAMILY.


Mrs. B. TELLS THE STORY OF PROGRESS
sIvE EUCHRE PARTY,
Mr.. Bowser suddenly looked up from his
paper the other evening and asked:
"Mhy is it that we haven't given pro-
gressive euchre party this winter?''
They have been voted too much troub-
le," replied.
"They have, eh9 Did any one vote be-
sides you? 1 saw half dozen mentioned
in the paper last Sunday"
'1t's almost impossible to get thirty or
forty people together on q certain evening,
even if all desired TO come. Mrs. johnson
calculated on eight tables and only had
enough for five. Mrs. Dart calculated
on"
"Oh, boshl What does a woman's CAL
culation amount to2''
"But if people can't come, and don't
come, what are you going to do?'
They can come and they will come. It's
all in the management"
"Well, wish you'd try it.''
EDO you? Very we'll, Mrs. Bowser,
shall give progressive euchre party next
week, Wednesday evening. If you'll see
to the refreshments I'll see to the people,"
.I'll be glad to, of course, but"
"But what?"
''You must prepare yourself for disap-
pointments."
''Oh, mustl How kind of you to give
me warningi Mrs. Bowser, don'twsnt to
seem vain oregotistical, but I'll invite thirty
six people here on that night, and for every
one who fails to come I'll give you $50
bill.
''You are kind-very kind. l hope the
party will be great success. You can be-
gin at once"
During the next hour he had the use of
the telephone to call up acquaintances, and
when he finally hung up the trumpet he
turned to me with:
"Any thing very dismal about that, Mrs.
Bowser? I've got ten couples without
moving out of MY tracks. Tll have the
other eight before tomorrow night"
"That is, they will promise to come"
''Promisel Promisel Do you imagine
that all other people are like you? Most
folks know their own minds for day or
two ahead, Mrs. Bowser."
When he came home next night he had
list of eighteen couples who had been invit-
ed and solemnly promised to come. Mr..
Bowser had made it point to inform each
one that the playing wonld begin at sharp
eight, and all had agreed to be on hand
fifteen minutes before that hour.
"Voted too much trouble-can't get peo-
pie enough!' sneered Mr.. Bowssr as he
looked over the list. "It's in the manage
ment, Mrs. Bowser-all in the manage
ment."
toe and took every occasion to brag over
me. Then came the first set-bacA. We
were at dinner when the telephone rang
and Mr.. Bowser was asked for.
"Hello! Bowssr!''
eyes"
sfThis is Hilbert"
eyes"
81 wanted to tell you that we can't come
down to the party"
"You can'tp'
"No. My wife has just remembered
that she agreed to go over to Johnson's on
that night. Sorry, old fellow, but
hope"
Mr.. Bowser shut him off with loud
bang and turned to me and said:
sMrs. Bowser, don't you never darken
Filbert's doors again-never! They are
liars and dangerous people. can fill their
places in five minutes"
"Before he got out Of the house there
was another ring.
"Hellol Bowser"
This is Watkins
eyes"
"When told you the other day we'd be
down Wednesday evening 1 forgot that our
Eva was to have a child's party on the same
evening. That knocks us out"
'And you can't Gomez"
'Of course not. Sorry to disappoint you,
old fellow. but Of course"
"Watkins is liar, Mrs. Bowser-a first
class, bold-face liarr' exclaimed Mr.. Bow
ser, 'and you want to cut the whole family
90 dead as door nail!'
ss-he went off saying he could get two mil
lion couples to take their places, and he re-
turned at evening just as the following
note came by the hands of messenger
boy:
''Mr. and Mrs. Jackson present their
compliments. and regret that the death of
an uncle in China will prevent them from
being present on Wednesday evening""
Mr.. Bowser he'd begun to turn white
when the telephone rang.
''Hellol BowserW
"Yesp
"Say, old man, this is world of change,
you know. When l told you we'd come
down to that party never thought about
my sister. She's to be married that same
evening. Tra-la, old boy, hope you'll have
a good time"
II told you it would be hard work 30 get
so many people out" remarked.
"Did you, Mrs. Bowser? How kind Of
you! But Ill show you and these liars and
deceivers thing or two before l get
through
There were no more declinations until
Wednesday morning. Then Mr.. Bowser
was called up by telephone.
.That you, Bowser?"
SIS it tonight you have that party?"
eyes"
"Pshaw! 1 thought it was a week from
tonight! We'll, that knocks us out. We've
got to go to the Y M. G. A. Sorry, you
know, but this is previous engagem ant"
Mr.. Bowser was jumping up aud down
when there came another ring:
"Hello Bowser?'
eyes"
"Nice weather9''
"Yes.n
..All well down there2''
eyes,"
s'Say, Bowser, my wife made previous
engagement for tonight. We've got to go
to-
Mr.. Bowser shut him off with a bang
and started for the office. During the fore
noon took in two declinations, and while
he was at dinner there was ring and the
old familiar hail:
"Hello! Bowserl"
"Yes."
'say, Bowser"'
"Yes."
.'We expect to be down early tonight"
s'Glad of it."
"But it may be that my mother-in-law
will come in on the $50 train. If she does
we can't come"
Mr.. Bowser seemed daze1 as he hung uy
the trumpet and left the house. The last
blow came at seven in the evening. The
telephone rang and he crawled over to an
swer.
SIS this Bowser's?''
''Yes."
"Where's the old man?"
81 am Mr.. Bowser."
U0hf SO Won are Y0ur vOicn sAama