Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1889-03-14
FOOD ApuuTERAT,otL

FOOD ADULTERATl0M
ehs Expsrisnes Of Three Elies Told b ~
destructive Manner.
There Is a ancient legend that once
lpon q time there were three flies.
Two Of the hies were foolish and liable
e be deceived. but the third hy read
the papers regularly. and was conse-
7uently difficult insect to delude. The
6rst fly. observing the beautiful color
and the delicious fragrance of some
genuine golden strip. tried . little OF
It on his batter-cakes, 90 to speak. It.
tasted very nice. indeed. but it had
been adulterated with prussic acid.
and the consequence was the fly soon
began to complain Of general debility,
accompanied by a sensation of nausea.
A learned physician was called in, and
he very soon discovered that the UNI
happy insect was suffering from an in
tanned condition of the mucous mem.
brane; also that the coats OF
the stomach were very much
frayed at the edges, and needed
. new lining. The careful
physician prescribed mild sedative
and expectorant in the shape of
volatile tincture of guiacum mixed
with alkaline extract of jalap. calcined
magnesia and muriatic acid. mixed
well. and to be taken three times
dsy. Under ordinary circumstances
this ought to have effected complete
cure. or. at least. greatly modified the
nervous indigestion and incipient
chlorosis from which tia fly was suf-
fering, but unfortunately, as the
golden sirup had been adulterated by
the grocer, just 80 the ingredients of
the prescription had been adulterated
by the druggist. The result was that.
instead of producing the desired effect,
the prescription threw the unhappy
fly into epileptic fits. accompanied by
the most alarming symptoms. which
finally degenerated into whooping
cough and cancer, causing the patient
to collapse suddenly of rheumatic
govt The druggists bill was so large
that the family was left as poor as an
amateur performance on the violin.
Thus persisted one of the foolish flies.
The second one was a healthy female
fly who was engaged to a young male
fly who was in every way worthy Of
her. She happened to buzz into the
room of an invalid who was slipping
some brandy toddy which the doctor
had prescribed as a tonic to build up
his system and give him an appetite.
As the brandy had cost four dollars
bottle and was labeled Genuine French
Cognac," the inexperienced young fly
thought she might with safety revel in
a drop or so of it. Unfortunately, the
brandy had been adulterated also. 1t
was made OF cheap whisky and prus-
sic acid and a few other simple RENE
dies for all the ills the flesh is heir to.
The consequence was that the fly was
thrown on q bed of sickness. Fortu-
nately. the disease was taken in time.
and the doctors prescribed a mild
preparation of prepared tincture of
quassia, calcined magnesia, emulsion
of myrrh and few other simple reme-
dies. to act as mild aperient, but all
these things were adulterated. Peri
tonitis set in Immediately, accom-.
panied by fatulence, measles and
violent Mysteries. which reduced the
doomed fly to skeleton. After a severe
attack of lowness of spirits, accom-
panied by skin eruption. the fly did
not linger much longer. The adulter-
ated drugs smoothed her pathway to
the tomb, of which she soon became a
silent inmate.
The third fly was smart. He knew
what he was about. When he was asked |
at the breakfast-table if he did not |
want some fresh country butter he re-
piled he did not wish to encourage the
incipient tape-worm germs found in
oleomargarine, and he was otherwise !
very circumspect in his diet. Having
noticed that all the healthy articles of !
food had been poisoned. he concluded |
that the rule worked both ways, so he |
deliberately fed on the fly poison that |
was set out for his benefit, and. sure |
enough, it. too. had been adulterated |
and was harmless. The wise fly grew
fat on it, and was mentioned favorably |
in the papers for Congress.-N. Y.
Mercury.