Morning journal and courier., 1889-12-10
HARD.

The man who owns a marble quarry may be said to have hard luck-Boston Courier.
 Money makes the man, but the man has to make the money frst.-Somerville Journal.
 Death has no terrors to the tradesman who furnishes the floral tributes at the funeral.- Boston Transcript.
 Money will do almost anything. It will help woman to change her name, even. - Yonkers Statesman.
 It Is odd how often a brave man will face thing after he has refused to countenance it. Baltimore American.
 If the small boy was born with stilts he would then want to try walking on 1egs.- Martha's Vineyard Herald.
 First moth-"Are you there, neighbora Second moth-Yes; how do look In this new dress suits-Yonkers Statesman.
 Queen Victoria has good constitution Birmingham Age-Herald.
 But it isn't a circumstance to the constitu- ton of the United States.-New York Her. aid.
 Pater-"On your prospects will depend my acceptance of you as son-in-law." Would be son-in-law-"H'ml Vel, my prospects de- pend entirely on your acceptance of me as 8 son.in- law.n-Life.
 MT. Brown (awakening from two weeks' spree)-"Where am IF" Mrs. Brown (wishing to make the awakening as horrible as possi- ble)-"You are in hades." Brown-"And than can bear."-The Lounger.
 There is genius in the advertising line who keeps a jewelry store on Market street. Next door to him there is an immense build ing operation going on and in front of his shop mountain of brick is piled up that entirely shuts him out from view. It worried him until he devised the scheme of placing on the brick pile an enormous sign, some 20 feet high, which notifies everybody that he is doing business "behind this pile of brick" His original idea is success Philadelphia Inquirer.
 "Micky, phwat in the wurruld Is Dinny Dolan doin' wid black eyes" "Has he been over here, mother?" "Indade he has; him an his father an his mother and the whole family of thin, barrin' the goat" "Well, hit him because he said I was so ignorant Oi couldn't read anything but the red paint on circus bill and Oi couldn't even read them if Oi didn't learn them off by heart beforehand" "No difference. So ye are ignorant, ,and ye'd no business striking the bye for tellin' the troot on yez." "But he said Oi took afther me mother" s'Did he say thats An was it only wan of his eyes that ye blackeds"-Mer- chant Traveller.
 'I confess am sometimes sorely perplex ed," said the father, with heavy sigh, "when think of the future of my boys. It is great responsibility to have the choosing of a calling in life for them" Through the open window came the voices of two of the lads at play. "Look herel" loudly exclaimed John- ny, 'sthat isn't fairl You've divided these marbles so as to get all the best ones in your own bag" "Didn't I have the trouble of dividing them?" reiterated Willie hotly; "Think I am going to spend my time doing such jobs for nothingW "So far as Willie is concerned" resumed the father after pause, "the task of choosing vocation is not difi- cult. I shall make lawyer of im."--Ex- change.
 Old pr. Gray was at the dance
 When Ethel said, with merry glance,
 Doctor, don't you dance the lancers?'
 s'No my dear, 1 lance the dancers"
 Journal of Education.