The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1889-11-28
THE HOTEL sKlFF.
A Fearfully and Wonderfully Made ri

Of Marine Architecture.
A man with orange eyes thought he
would take girl with whom he had
been playing tennis out for row. So
he engaged one Of the public boats at
tached to the hotel. He had never
used one Of these boats before. and did
not know that they weigh two hundred
pounds apiece. without including the
twelve pounds Of paint put on every
season.
He was also in blissful ignorance OF
the fact that no two oars connected
with the estiblishmcnt came within
FIVE pounds OF each other in weight, or
that the average weight of each was
something like twenty pounds.
But when he got out little way. and
found the boat sailing about in circle.
he concluded that one oar was about
seven pounds heavier than the other.
and it would be necessary to row much
more gently on the heavy than on the
light one to attain any thing like .
straight course.
AO 0OUVs w UC 0u10t W 90 NV S4uApe
ped with a rudder. and the girl would
lean over to allow her lily fingers to
trail in the water. and then the wind
would come up and cause tho water
logged craft TO head in q different di-
rection.
To secure straight course, it would
require mathematical calculation that
no oarsnan could work out in his head,
for he would have to consider the diff
ferent weights OF the girl. boat and
cars, as we'll as the force OF wind. re-
sistance Of water. etc.
The mans orange eyes grew larger,
while the oar handles took the palms,
and occasionally CRACKED his knucklcs
like so many English walnuts.
1t ought to have boon consoling to
him 70 know that the girl in the stern
OF the boat was enjoying the row, and
the beautiful surroundings
'Oh, let's go over to that lovely
island she said.
He did his best to appear delighted
with the IDEA. but his orange eyes be-
gan to dilate, and his heart felt as sore
rs his oar-bruised knuckles. But he
started for the island. which seemed
three or four hundred feet distant.
when. In reality, it was about two
miles. It was the apparent lack Of
distance that lent enchantment to the
view. but the enchantmcnt vanished
like his cuticle as he rowed on. by tho
way he was turning about he would
have to row probably six miles before
reaching the island, so he headed the
boat for tho mainland.
You are not pointing toward the
island At all, now" she said.
by rowing toward the mainland y
he replied. 1--WE shall reach the islaIi
sooner. because this boat is turning 81
continually that we make the greatest
Roadway BY going IL the opposite d.
rection."
| YES" she replied, 'but We are 60
ing away from the island all the time
We shall be back on shore in ten min
utss II you keep on"
1 Excuse me-" 10 went on, ''but d.
you notice my eyes growing larger"
Yes"
THAT confirms mo in the opinion
that ! have . fit coming on, and mus
get ashore IS soon rs possible.
So. after violent effort. durins
which the girl was frightened half I,
death, he reached the shore. He has
no fit, but he had the satisfaction o
knowing that that girl would never AS
him to row hor again, and that sh,
would tell the other girls. and he would
no more he ? victim OF the hotel boat
tho fat poodle Of tho lske In contradis
tinction to the Cunardor which u N
greyhound of the sea. ~
| ut is lucky I can make my orapg
ayes bulge at will" he said. after re
iating the circpmstance to . friend.
I, Lets see you make them bulg
nowp' asked his friend.
So he bulged his orange eyes unit
they looked like . couple OF hard-boile
eggs, shellod apd cut in halt length
Wies. Once q Week.