davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08

He had suppressed bear batting. not, 1t Is be-
ieved. because it gave pain to the bear. but
because it gave pleasure to the audience He
found the Indians were the proprietors of the
land, and he felt constrained to move
against them with his gun. with view to
increasing the number of absentee landlords
He found the Indians on one side and the
witches on the other. He was surrounded
with troubles He had to keep the Indians
under fire and the witches over It. These
were some of the things that reconciled that
good man to sudden death He never let the
sun go down upon bis wrath. but he, no
doubt, often wished that he was in that re-
gion near the pole where the sun does not go
down for six months at time and gives
wrath fair chance to materiaiize. He was
a thoughtful man. He spent his days invent
ing snow plows and his evenings in slipping
hot rum and Illuminating upon the probable
strength of the future prohibition vote.
Those were times when the wives remon-
strated with their husbands regarding the
unfortunate and disappointing results of too
much drink. particularly when it led the
uiGu w ~ Out huu ouOOt at S-eLiu uilSS
them These men generally began drinking
on account of the bite Of snake, and usually
had to quit on account Of attacks from the
same reptiles"
Gen Porter was kind enough to introduce
me to New York audience on one occasion.
Ladies' and gentlemen began the general
without relaxing muscle of his face, ~
claim your indulgence on behalf Of the
speaker who is going to address you. He has
to speak in O language not his own. and, be-
sides. be has not the resource Of some Of our
countrymen. who, when their threats are
tired. can speak through their noses"
American women run their husbands and
fathers very close In the matter Of wit.
Their wit Is apt to be little more sarcastic,
perhaps They are not women for nothing.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08

Here Is little story which would supply
very good subject to the novelist or the
dramatist
Idaho territory lies very far west indeed,
and there Is an alarming scarcity Of women
there This has been curiously illustrated Of
late in the town Of Wagon Wheel
Recently two young ladies travelled TO that
remote region to attend to their dying
brother. The poor fellow did not long re-
quire their services, and Immediately after his
death the sisters prepared to return home.
Before, however, they could get away. nearly
the whole population Of the town-headed by
the mayor and other high officials-were
making matrimonial oyertures to them Feel
ing ran very high during five or six anxious
days, and the mayors chances. despite his
mature years, ruled the betting at six to one.
At the end of the week both young ladies had
capitulated, and were duly engaged The
mayor was, however, cut out by handsome
young miner. The wedding day was fixed,
and the mother of the young ladies was sum-
moned upon the scene Here troubles began.
She duly arrived. but was hotly indignant
with her daughters for the scant respect
which they bad manifested toward their
brothers memory by such indecent
haste to wed The girls explained that
they had literally been besieged, and had
yielded to the overwhelming force of circum-
stances. As usual explanations increased
the ofPense, and the mother vowed that
neither OF them should be married out there
at all-that, in fact. the engagements were
"off, and that they must be OF too. The
cup Of felicity was thus rudely dashed from
the lips of the two. accepted men, and they
made haste to tell their sorrows to the town.
An indignation meeting was held, and the
mayor appointed a committee to wait
upon the irate matron In order to ask
her to reconsider her resolution. The
mayor, with rare magnanimity, consider
ing the cruel blow his own hopes had
just received, placed himself at the
head Of the deputation, and in the name Of
patriotism implored the good lady to grant
the petition, which be ardently urged She,
however. stood firmly on her parental rights
and declared that she would not leave the
town without her two daughters Then the
genius Vi tue mayor snone Iortn Ike Tue sun,
and proved equal to the occasion. He blandly
proposed compromise. Why need she leave
at ALA He drew her attention-of course In
most delicate terms-to the fact that she was
fair, plump, and fifty odd, and that similar
language might be taken as descriptive OF
himself There and then he offered her his
hand and heart, and the young ladies kind
father and protector.
That settled the matter. and three mar
riages took place with great flourish Of
trumpets at Wagon Wheel
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08
CHAPTER XIV.

Jonathan is the cousin german of John
Bull, but yet not so German as one might
imagine, for, II Germany supplies America
with two or three hundred thousand immi
grants yearly. these Germans do not German
ize America; on the contrary, they them
selves become Americanized, thanks to that
faculty of assimilation which they possess in
such high degree
One strong proof of this Is the way In
which women are treated from one end of
the United States to the other And here
may say that in this matter Jonathan sets
John Bull an example which the latter would
do well to profit by.
Whilst English justice gives merely one or
two months imprisonment to the man who
is found guilty of having almost kicked his
wife to death, an American town is in arms
at the mere rumor Of man having NAL
treated woman.
Sometimes the chastisement takes comic
form There are few distractions in the lit
tie American towns. and native humor finds
an outlet in strange fashions A man who
Ill treats his wife, or forsakes her for another
woman, is often tarred and feathered. The
operation is curious and satisfies the ven
geance Of the populace. while procuring them
an hours amusement
The delinquent Is led, sometimes to the
sound Of music, to retired spot. There he
is stripped to the skin and coated over with
tar from head to foot This done, he is
rolled in feathers, which of course stick to
him and give him the appearance Of an inn
mense ugly duckling. To give finishing to
the operation, his clothes are sometimes car
ried off, and the mob wish him good luck.
This chastisement Is often applied to a
woman whose conduct is known to be Inn.
moral. In such cases need not say it is the
women who operate on the culprit They
want their husbands and sons to be able to
pet about without danger, and they take
upon themselves the task Of keeping the moral
atmosphere Of the neighborhood healthy.
The idea appears primitive. but morality
thrives by It
The susceptibilities Of American women arc
sometimes very easily wounded.
paper having announced mans death
under the heading: John K gone to bet
ter home" the widow brought an action Of
libel against the editor
The further west one goes the more appar-
emit becomes the power of the women. the
further west one goes the rarer does woman
get Is this the reasonl
To every American hotel there Is ladies'
entrance This is to prevent contamination
from the possible contact of man. When It
rains or SHOWS an awning e thrown ont over
the pavementi but dare say permanent
triumphal arch win ultimately be demanded
by the ladies'
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08
JONETHgN End His CONTINENT.
BY MAX o'RELL AND JACK ALLYN.

Copyrighted cass Co., New York
Following Extracts from this Book by Special Ar
rangement through the American Press Association
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08
CHAPTER xv1I1.

think the following anecdote Illustrates
the delicacy Of eastern wit:
Philadelphia, whether justly or not, has the
reputation Of being very dead and alive, and
many are the jokes on its dullnesa A Bos
tonian was doing the honors OF his native city
to friend from Philadelphia Having
shown him all tho points Of interest In the
place. he asked II be did not think Boston g
fine city.
"Yes. IL Is very nice. " said the Pennsyl-
vania man. "but do not think it l. 80 well
laid out as Philadelphia
"No." rejoined tho Bostonian. "but 1t win
be when It Is as dead a. Philadelphia
Ito be continaed.)
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08
CHAPTER Kill

The New England descendants Of the Puri-
tans have inherited more than British
prudery
The word 'leg" is improper, you must say
Flower limb" Trousers have become slower
garments" Instead of going to bed, people
.'retire," so that the bedroom becomes the
retiring room"
A lady having said not long ago in Phila-
delphia drawing room that she felt cold in her
back, created a veritable panic among the
hostess guests
read the following piece information in
New York paper among the news from q
New England city:
"The authorities have begun crusade
against the nude in art One of the wealthiest
against for keeping in his house copies Of the
Venus of Milo, the Venus de Medici, Canova's
Venus, Powers Greek Slave, the LAGOON,
and other works"
During my stay In New York, was con-
stantly hearing Of a certain Mr. Anthony
Comstock, who had attained celebrity by q
campaign he had undertaken against uudities
AlF. OOulSCOck VlSiUeu Ln0 muSeunlS, RauefteSs
exhibitions and shops, and whenever be found
bit of flesh portrayed in paint or marble, he
went before the magistrates and had grand
field day. ! must say. for the credit Of the
New Workers, that Mr. Comstock had earned
for himself reputation as grotesque as it
was noisy. To take up such line Of censor
ship is, it seems to me, to publish ones own
perversity, and the individual whose mind is
SO Ill informed that he cannot look at an ar
tistic counterfeit presentment Of the human
form divine without thinking evil thoughts,
is to be pitied, If not despised.
But | suppose there viii always be quack
doctors with the cant of virtue on their lips
and filthy imaginations in their hearts.
Meanwhile, the American newspapers
seemed to look upon Mr.. Comstock as legiti-
mate target for their jokes and satire.
The New England ladies have the reputar
ton of being the most easily shocked women
in the world An American gentleman told
me thata Philadelphia lady. at whose side he
was seated one day at table, grew red to her
very ears at bis asking her which part of a
chicken she preferred. the wing or the leg.
Are the New England women Saintes-Ni-
TOUGHEST
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08
CHAPTER XIV.

In America gentlemen,s dress Is plain, even
severe; high hat, black coat, dark trousers
Fancy cloth is little used. even in travelling.
remember well the sensation created
with pair OF light gray trousers in small
Pennsylvania town Every one seemed to
look at me as II | had been strange animal;
in the hotel the Mattresses nudged one an
other, and scarcely repressed giggle; and
the street urchins followed me as If had been
member of the Sioux tribe in national cos
tune The day after my arrival, one Of the
local papers announced that Frenchman
had landed in the town the day before Tin
white trousers, and that his popularity had
been as prompt as decisive
American ladies dress very well as rule,
but there great number who cover them
selves with furbelows and jewels, and so long
tie about the general effect.
American women have plenty Of style of
their own, and also great deal Of distinc-
ton and grace. but they always look dressed
for conquest 1t is well to be It, but not well
to show it. They are apt to laugh at the tot
let of English women. and model their own
dress on French lines For my part, think
that nothing can surpass fresh. young En-
glish girl in cotton dress and simple straw
hat
The fashionable headgear, during my So
journ in the states, was high. narrow con-
struction, perched on the top Of the head, and
surmounted with feathers At certain dis
lance. it gave its wearer the look of an irate
cockatoo.
There are French milliners In New York,
believe DR.. Oliver Wendell Holmes pre-
tends that they deteriorate on American soil
! remember we got upon this subject. during
a pleasant chat about his early days in Paris,
and he said: "By the time French milliner
has been six months in New York, she will
make bonnet to brighten Choctaw In
dian"
At the theatre, women wear silk, which
prevents one from hearing. and hats foot
high. which prevent one from seeing.
American ball toilets are ravishing. Here
the diamonds are In place do not know
any gayer, more Intoxicating sight than an
American ball room. The display Of luxury
- ou 6iSaAliS sStAAeI Aus WALLS are CoFeSSu
with flowers, the rooms artistically lighted,
the dancing animated. and the true spirit Of
gayety everywhere visible The young
women are ideal in beauty and brilliancy,
and II It were not for the atmosphere. which
is hot enough to hatch silk worms, you would
pass the evening in an ecstasy'of enjoyment
The wivesof men with middle class incomes
initiate the luxury Of the millionaires wife
expected to find 1t SO; In a democratic coun-
try frogs try to swell into oxen. They puff
themselves out until they burst. or rather
until their husbands burst
In France always. and in England when be
win let her, wife keeps an eye on her hus
bands interests In America, she often lays
hands on his capital
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08
CHAPTER XVII.

Humor only springs in simple, unaffected
characters. You find it In the Scotch II
overaows In the well bred American, who is
the prince Of good fellows
The Americans are so good at taking a joke
80 good tempered that, even in public, they
enjoy to banter each other and serve as butts
for each others sarcasms; it Is on these occa-
sions that American humor Is allowed free
play There are even ''Gridiron" clubs, clubs
where guests are invited only to be put on
the grill The most famous Of these Is the
Clover club at Philadelphia Outside Para
disc there is no place where men are treated
with SO little regard to their rank.
"Gentlemen." says the president, 81 have
the honor to propose the first toast of the
evening. Let US ill our glasses and drink tc
the honorable member of congress on my
right doubt not you win push your anna
bility and patience SO far as to listen to his
speech in respectful silence He win be all
the more proud to have an audience to
night, because, as we all know, when the
honorable member gets up to make speech
at Washington the benches begin to empty by
bAAtsEiS~ oOuIiSuiCAs 6iFO I'LL q SnaASOs
The congressman takes the joke merrily,
and thus commences his speech:
'sGentlemen-l mean members of the Clover
Club"
The members pocket the satire with a
hearty laugh
Presently comes the turn of the second
speaker.
This one speaks In a scarcely audible voice.
"Raise your voicer' cry the members
@I'm sorry you cannot hear" quietly an
swers the speaker; ''come nearer"
The cries of ''louderIs continue
"If speak low. says the interrupted man,
''it is in order co get down to your level"
This convulsed the assembly with laughter.
was aghast.
Can it be possible, thought, that they viii
stand that The joke may benew and funny,
but surely It is being carried beyond the
bounds If such things went on in France,
one would see duels going on in all the re-
tired spots Of the neighborhood next morn
ing.
The president rises once more
My turn has come
Scarcely have heard the word "Gentie-
men" when a yolley Of shouts and whistlings
greets me.
| see that am not going to be spared.
Excuse me-" continue; perhaps had
better explain to you why accepted your
invitation. Since arm In America mean to
study the customs and manners of the people.
With this object In view. 1t would not do for
me to confine myself to good society. and
have determined to make study this even
ing"
"That's right" whispers my neighbor In
way Of encouragement, continue In that
strain and you win do"
For hours the speechifying goes on, mixed
with music, recitations, songs and anecdotes
At Q in the morning hosts and guests separ-
ate, declaring that they have had ''real
good time"
The Clover club Is first rate leveler. ANY
man, whose self esteem has been over cult.
waited, can be supplied by this club with
wholesome physic.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08
His Body Terribly Nam
gled.

A shocking accident occurred at the
Union Knitting Mills, whereby Isaac
Cox was horribly mutilated. Red Flag
Oil the famous pain cure was quickly
applied and recovery soon followed, you
can try this great remedy for 25c.
If you want to drive away dyspepsia
biliousness. constipation, oor appetite
and all evils arising from disordered
liver use DR.. Lees liver regulator, trial
bottles free at G. G. Sills drug store.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08
SITUATION

with steady employment aud good pay all the year
round. TO reliable men furnishing satisfactory
| references. 8. A. Mc0MBRh CO..
Nurssrymsn, Rechsstsr. n. Z.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08
CHAPTFR xvi

There Is no country where you hear 50
many good anecdotes, and no country where
they are so wen told.
The Americans are delightful raconteurs;
they are past masters In the art Of making
those light graceful, witty little speeches.
which give to their dinners such unique
charm Then the humor l. delicate. the wit
Of the brightest Irony and elegance COM
bine to make these discourses veritable little
literary gems
Here Is specimen Of Gen Horace Porter's
drollery-a portrait Of an old typical Puri-
tan. given at New England dinner:
''The old Puritan was not the most rollick-
ing, the joIliest. tho most playful Of men He
at times amused himself sadly. He was given
to mild disregard Of the conventionalitiea
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08
POULTRY PAYS

If properly managed. The Poultry Bulletin,
published monthly. finely illustrated, is the best
paper for faicer and farmer. Less than Ave cents
= month a month brings IL to you post-plie. Send
stamp for sample copy. Address POULTRY Bull
LETIN, 326 Pearl st., New York.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08

from the house founded by that gentleman
The largest newspapers, and all the prin-
cipal reviews, have ladies on their staffs
Mrs Mary Louise Booth, who directs The
Harper's Bazaar, receives salary Of $500.
The two editors Of The Critic are Miss
Jeanette l. Glider and Mr.. Joseph B. Gil
der, sister and brother of MIR. RicharG Wat
son Glider, poet, and chief editor Of The Cen
fury Magazine, who himself has for colleagues
Mr. Buel and talented lady.
might name many more
The education of the women being In
America very much the same as that of the
men. ladies naturally may aspire to many en-
ployments which, in Europe, are looked upon
as being the monopoly of man.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08
TO MOTHERS.

Every babe should have bottle of DIR. FAIR
NEY'S TEETHING SYRUP. Perfectly safe. No
Opium or Morphia mixture. Will relieve Collie,
Gripping in the Bowels and promote Difficult Teeth
ing Prepared by DR5. D. FAHRNEY SON.
Hagerstown. Md. Druggists sell 1t; IS cents.
Trial bottle sent by mail 10 cents. feb1
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1889-03-08

his
This his latest
duim visit to America
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1889-05-30
Mistaken IN His A.ssrt,on.

CHICAGO, ILL.,, May 24.-An interview
with John Dewey in New York, pub
lished here yesterday, quotes him as
charging that an interview published
exclusively in the Chicago Times, with
a Canadian Pacific official, name not
given. who claimed to have seen Gro
min in Canada after the disappearance,
was bogus. The Times this morning
states that Mr.. Dewey is mistaken in
his positive assertion. The interview
was genuine, says the Times. and
the Canadian Pacific man in question
is declared to be jeremiah Sullivan.
who is stationed at Toronto. The
Times says the railroad man expressed
a Willingness to make oath that to the
best of his belief he saw DIR. Cronin at
the Rossin house on the Friday after
the doctors disappearance in Chicago.
Day before yesterday the railroader
told friend named O'Keefe, who is
now in Chicago, that it would seem he
was mistaken, but at the time of the
interview he was positively sure that
he would unhesitatingly have made af-
tidavit.
Miss Murphy, the Chicago Young
lady, who Claimed to have seen Cronin
enroGt down town alone two hours
after MS alleged abduction. reiterated
last night her conviction that what sh
said was correct
Captain O'Connor, who has been pro-
claiming that he could name Cronin's
murderer. asserted last night he made
good his boast by informing the police
The latter do not seem to have ATTACHED
much Importance to the Captains in
formation.
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1889-05-30
Riot at Guthrie.

CHICAGO, May pa dispatch from
Guthrie, Oklahoma, says the soldiers
were yesterday called out for the first
time since the opening of Oklahoma,
and for several hours the city of Guth-
RE was practically under martial law.
The meetings held every night for n
week by the men who lost their lots
through contests, and by the opening
of streets, eliminated in riot yester.
day. One of the best lots in Guthrie
was awarded by the board of arbitra-
ton to man named Driscoll of
Chicago An old man by the
name OF Diemer, of Kansas, occunied
the front of the same lot with tent.
Driscoll erected building on rollers
ready to shoYe it to the front as soon as
Diemer should vacate. Recently the
council ordinance to eject had been re-
Jected by the arbitration board. This
proceeding would affect over a thou-
sand persons. The city government
made test case of the DriscolI-Die-
mer contest. The marshal proceeded
To remove Diemer and his tent. I'm
mediately mob of 200 men collected
and drOvesthe marshal away. The moi
was about TO attack the city hall when
captain Cayanaugh arrived upon the
scene and dispersed them. after which
the city authorities resumed the work
of eJecting Diemer. Diemer fought
like tiger and had to be dragged from
his tent. DTiscoll's building was
rolled forward. The mob attempted
TO tear The house to pieces but this
time the authorities were able to re-
pulse the angry men without the and OF
soldiers. Last night soldiers guarded
the principal streets and more tro1blt
Is expected when the work of eject
ment is began.
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1889-05-30
aWhan Ynn Go Snnth.

You wish to be fully informed as
to the cheapest, most direct. and
most pleasant route. You will wish
to purchase your ticket via the route
that will subject you to no delays
and by which through trains are run.
Before you start, you should provide
yourself with a map and time table of
the Memphis route kansas City.
Fort Scott & Memphis r. r., the
only direct route from and via Kan
sas City to all points in Eastern and
Southern Kansas, Southwest Missouri
and Texas. Practically the only
route from the west to all southern
cities. Entire trains with Pullman
Palace sleeping cars and free reclining
chair cars, Kansas City to Mem
phis; through first class coach
Kansas City to Chattanooga. Knox
vile and Bristol; through sleeping car,
Kansas City to New Orleans. This is
the direct route, and many miles the
shortest line to Little Rock, Hot
Springs, Eureka Springs. Fort Smith.
Van Buren,, Fayetteville, and all
points in Arkansas. Send for large
map. Send for copy of the Missou-
ri an Kansas Farmer, an eight page
Illustrated paper, containing full and
reliable information in relation to the
great states of Missouri and Kansas,
issued monthly and mailed free.
Address, j. E. LOCKWOOD,
q. 2. 81 L. A, Kansas City, Mo.