Morning journal and courier., 1889-02-15
HON EST.

Next to an honest man, perhaps the hard-
 est thing to find in the world is an honest gas
 meter.-Burlington Free Press.
 You must train girl when she is young
 but when she grows up she will look out for
 her own charlottesville Breeze.
 It is said that Mir. Wanamaker never went to circus. There is a great treat in store for him when he gets to Washipgton.-Ros-
 ton Transcript.
 Hardup-Did you see anything of the um-
 bre1la I left here this morning?
 Hotel clerk-Yes. The owner happened
 to see it and took it away.-New York Sun.
 Rev. Dr. Crosby wants it distinctly under- stood that he is opposed to women on the stage He is probably perfectly willing that they shall go in the horse car, if they won't look too wistfully at the seat he is occupying.
 Boston Transcript.
 "Sir," said the missionary to the depart
 ing legislator, ''I wish you would do all in
 your power to reclaim the poor red men of
 the West"
 'fI will" said the lswmaker, heartily, ''Ill
 begin with their reservations first. ."-Puck. She-Is there anything in this world that
 is the cause of so much pain and sorrow as
 the use of intoxicating liquors? He-Well, I should rather say there was. She (astonished)-Whatd do you mean? He (with a wriggle of distress)-A shirt
  Mr. Younghusband-What is this meat ,to-
 day, my dear? Mrs. Younghusband-A saddle of mutton, love.
 MT. Y.-Aheml- I think Bridget has made mistake, sweet, and given us simply the crupper and the stirrups.-Burlingto Free Press.
 Modern minister's wife-You look worried dear. Can't you find subjects that will inter est the congregationa Modern minister (gloomily)-It's easy | enough to find subjects that will interest the | congregation; the trouble is to find subjects that will interest the newspapers.-Phila- delphis Record Bessie-Ma and pa have been quarreling, haven't they. Willie-Yep. | you knowa
 Willie-Not yet. I'm waiting to see which one of them slams the door going out.-Bur. l lington Free Press. Modern railroading-old Wayback Way l back Qrom Wayback township)-"Gse Whackl things is scrumptious, ain't they What fur is that lar axe in tn furrard part O tn kyara' Young Wakeus Makeup Grom l the city)-"That is to help kill the passen- gers in of accidents, so as to bring the domsges down to $5, 900. Life. A bad blow for base ball.-"I hear, Moike, T observed Mir. McQuacharty, 'sthat the Pope is afther writin' a letther shuttin' down on the National League" "Is that soi" re- sponded MT. Finnegan. "I hope, thin, that he won't put sthop to the Association, or 1 there won't be no base ball in the country worth spakin' av."-Drake's Magazine. A parental admonition.-Stern parent 'tJohnnie, I am informed that you use a great deal of slang. Is it .rue?" "Yes, sir.''
 "And have cautioned you against the vul- gar habit scores of times. I once more warn you that if you persist in using slang I'll take | that strap from the wall and you'll find yourself in the soup."-Nebraska State Jour- nal.
 A successful affair.-Wife (to her husband a physician)-"Did you stop at the Vsncouv. CT ball tonight, Williams" Physician-"Fo,
 a few minutes. my dear" Wife-"Did ii l seem to be successful affair" Physician ''Oh, yes; while I was there young lady fell in fainting condition. and prescribed for her. Here is her fathers card. d."-Harp- | er's BaZar.