Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-07-26
PLEASANTRIEs

A BAKER kneads to be we'll bread
Z WHEN man is taken in" bo
ally put out" 'so'
WHEN the Car of Russia +o,.o
he goes Romanoff. " UP
A wAsEERwoMAN is cruel cra..
She daily wrings mems bosoms ''0Se'
BILL TELLS boy is remembaroa
history because he had an arrow eso a u
He-Miss Travis, do you look fay, re-
ably upon my suit? She-Certa;n,pl'
it fits you beautiful. "
LADY visitor-Is mamma at bom.
dear? Little Alice-No, ma'am ha4
can show you her new dress.
WHEN an Indian dies, his relat;r.
pay his debts. And yet some peonla
think Indians can be civilized. ~
The reason railroads are multinlv;,.
so in this country is probably because
the cars are being coupled so constants
IEAcHEE-What made you make
face at me? Little Johnny-ple,ss
ma'am, I didn't think you were loo,.
ing.
WHAT pity it is that the old farm !.
going to wreck and ruin for lack n
cultivation, when there sre SO ma,r
people digging for fishing worms.
"IF you tell a story" said one Oak.
mont little girl to another, "God vii,
strike you dead" "Huh!" replied tss
diminutive unbeliever, God hasn't oot
a gun"
VISITOR Cat the museum)-Where j.
the Fasting Man." boss? Keeper lab.
Observation-Disclosures just gone out for
his supper. He will be back in min.
ute.
LAwyER-Well, now do you think
the prisoner was insane when he fired
the shot? Witness-No, sir, am Der.
fectly certain he was in Pete Owens
saloon at the time.
iRATE Father Ito his maynard SOM
John, what have you done with that
gold watch I gave you on your birthday?
John (who has pawned the watch for
juleps)-Why, father, I have deposited
it in mint transaction.
L1LL1AN-O, Reginald, I can not STAY
longer in Chicago. I wish to go abroad
anywhere so that it is far, far away.
Reginald - Wherefore, my beloved?
Lillian-Our baseball team has lost
four straight games to Boston.
EXCITED SPoETsMAN-Say, did you
see bird fall anywhere about here?
shot at one just now, and saw the feath.
ers fly. T'armer-No, I amt seen
nothin' of it. I guess when the teathes
flew the bird flew with 'em.
DEAR me! this is SO annoying!" sA
Mr.. Haggerty, impatiently. "Is
looked all over tbs house Cor my rigs
and can't find it anywhere" did yor
Loo. IN your MOUTH" asked Mrs. Has
gerty, regarding him with a smile. no
by George And it's there, too" said
Haggerty.
MARY-George, I have heard vol
spoken of frequently as a successiu
business man" Il am that. Why
well, considering the fact that you
have been visiting me for three years,
think you should maintain your reputa
ton and talk business" He maintained
his reputation.
McCoRKLE-I was surprised to heal
that you had taken German course
McCrackle. McCrackle A German
course! Who told you! "Jimson told
me. I think the language will be Of
great benefit to you. Language MOTH
ing! What I took was lager and lin.
burger. "-Epoch.
Mrs. AMATEUR accompanying the gar
dener over the new farm)-What is that
plant, Davis? Davis AIilkweed, nam.
Mrs. Amateur (ten minutes later, burst
ing excidedly into her husbands dem
Jack, there's no earthly need Of our
keeping SO many cows; this place is
overrun with milkweed, and we may as
well economic little.
Ar the Fish Dealer's-Please send
up to my house tomorrow couple OF
nice bass" "Yes, sir" "And, by the
way, be sure they are bass. I'm going
off for day, and-er--e r-the last time
[ went told my wife it was for trout
fishing, and you sent up fresh mackerel'
These little errors of yours are causing
strained relations in my family
| Epoch.
| F-ITORING 4 GUEST.