davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
TAKEN FROM LIFE.

Never black your teachers eye. 1t might
endanger the pupil,
The banks have stopped taking Canadian
money, but the Canadians haven't stopped taking
the banks money.
A New York drummer stumbled and fell
in Hartford, striking the pavement with his
cheek. The town sued him for damages.
"Do you want to buy this handbook"
''Do you call that ponderOus qnarto hand
books',
''Certainly: it's work palmistry.''
III want to write a letter to the Secretary
of the Navy. Shall address him as Your Ex-
celleney?'' ~
''Oh, no; use the term, Your Warship.'"
An Optimist.-W is the third
time you have come home drunk this week.
Hubby-D-don't be so p-pessimistic my dear,
You should think of the four nights came home
sober.
The Wise druggist.-"Well, sonny, what
is It?'' asked the drug clerk, peering over the
counter at the three-foot mite Of humanity.
''Mammy sent me to get piece OF soap-east-
iron, think she said.',
tsWe don't keep any summer hotel soap here's
returned the clerk; ''you must have mistaken the
metal. Wasn't 1t Castile?''
A Close Competition. my papa's got
some new horses and a nice new brougham.''
''well. my papa's going to buy new yacht
s.And my mammals got a lovely new piano"
''well--w--well, my mammals got a cook that
has stayed two weeks!''
HAS Charley sister?''
''No, but he is going to have one as soon as be
proposes to me.h
Reasonable.-Lawyer Gin the not very
distant future)-l have proof positive that my
client was insane at the time of this murder. ,
Now witness. did you notice anything singular
cratic in the conduct of the accused latelyf
Witness--No, sir; nothing whatever.
Lawyer (triumphantly)--Ther gentlemen Of
the jury, does that not confirm my claim? The un-
fortunate man was certainly out Of his head or ne
would not have neglected to perform some act In
public which would render his sanity doubtful!
Expert Testimony.-Little Nan, of four
summers, considering it her duty to entertain
lady who is waiting for mamma, enters Into con-
versation-
Nan Have you got any little girls?
The Galleries, 1 have two.
Nan-p-do you ever have to whip emf
The Caller-i'm afraid have to. sometimes.
Nan-What DO you whip em with?
The Caller (amused)--Oh, when they've been
very naughty, l take my slipper.
Nan tmost feelingly, as mamma entefsl-Y-yo-
you ought to use hairbrush; my mamma does,
and It hurts awfully,
-AH from Lvs,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

force the Interstate Commerce law" and
the selection of MIR. Walker as its Chair
man was intended as guarantee upon its
face that the law was to be respected and
carried out by this combination. This law
forbade "any contract, agreement or combi-
nation for the pooling of traffic" or "the dl-
vision of the aggregate or net proceeds of
the earnings or any portion thereof" Yet
the official statement of the steps taken to
preserve the existence of the combination
show that the agreement directly contem-
plated steps ''to secure to each company its
true share of the competitive traffic." and
that the Executive Board, headed by Mr..
Walker, made decision that one of the
railroads in the combination should limit
itself to two train loads per week of live
stock traffic from Kansas City to Chicago,
and that it must divert the rest of that
traffic to the Chicago and Alton Railroad.
In other words this agreement, which was
to enforce the interstate commerce law has
taken steps to violate it, and the recent
Commissioner, who left his public position,
was induced by his salary of S25000 year
to approve such acts in violations Of the
law. Agreements of that sort generally, as
is shown by this case, may be relied upon to
enforce only such portions of the law as are
grateful to the railroads; and it seems to be
consistent with some ideas of official in
tegrity to permit the notification of such
portions of the law as the official does not
indorse.
This example ought to be sufficient to
show that loud professions by railroad COM
binations, Of an intention to assume the
functions of government in enforcing the
law will generally conceal the methods of
multiplying its spirit, if not of violating its
letter.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
Going Where IT'S Cool.

Ex-senator Thomas G. Platt and Mrs. Platt
started for Alaska this evening. In Detroit
they will be joined by General and Mrs Alger.
General Alger's eldest son, his two unmarried
daughters, and Mr.. and Mrs. Thurston. Al
most up to the hour of his departure, M. Platt
was busy talking politics with the big Republi-
cans of New York. He had long consultations
with Senator Hiscock. Collector Erhardt, Ere
mont Cole and General Knapp. Democrats
here think that Mr. Platt's Alaskan trip is the
opening gun of General Alger's canvass for the
Republican Presidential nomination in 1892.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

The discovery of "Sugar Trust in
New York, by which shipping clerk, a
truckman and retail dealer succeeded in
robbing big firm of some thousands Of
dollars worth of sugar, was followed by the
arrest of the members of the combination.
1t seems to be well established principle
of law in New York that robberies in the
sugar business which are counted in less
sums than the millions are wholly and
criminally illegal.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
IT HAS BEEN DETERMINED.
The Exposition Must Open on Date, With
ont REGARD to Weather.

The Exposition project has emerged from
the cloud of the johnstown disaster, and Mr..
Bindley states that the show will open at p.
NJ, September 4. The projectors have 50 de-
cided, provided, of course, that nothing unex.
pected supervenes The money hasn't been
raised, but it has been decided that it will be
some way or other. They say the flood merely
deferred but did not stop work.
Manager johnson states that applications on
file for space are sufficient on which to base
predictions Of success, and these spaces will be
assigned within short time and some who
have neglected to apply will probably find they
have sinned away their day OF grace. or course
there Is no question that the manufacturing ex-
hibit will be superb, and the art exhibition
promises to be unusually interesting and
enough musical organizations have specified
their willingness to take part to insure success
In that particular.
Complaint is made that neither steam nor
street railways have come to, the fore and they
were expected TO sell 100000 worth Of interest
in the project, at the very least
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
Even the Cattle Have Heard of It.


Jake" called out the brakeman of the
freight train, wild with excitement, as he came
running back to the caboose. ''did you yell out
the name of this town when we stopped to let
those passengers off just nowT'
Certainly did," answered the conductor.
"Didn't you know better than to do that?"
exclaimed the frantic brakeman. we've got
800 cattle in this train, and they're just break
ing the cars down trying to get out, toor'
The train had stopped at Fort Dodge, Iowa.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
stole From Hi. Father.in-Law.

Edward B. Cox was arrested to-day for en-
bezzling over $4,000 of the money of his employ.
ers. Stevenson, Wood & Co., of Brooklyn.
James Stevenson, senior partner in the firm, is
Cox's father-in-law, and took him into the es.
tablishment as bookkeeper four years ago.
Almost Immediately Cox began to steal
amounts ranging from rs cents to $780, About
three weeks ago he went to Niagara on lark,
taking several of his companions with him.
During his absence the firm discovered their
cash account was short and began to overhaul
Cox's accounts. They found a number of dis.
crepaneies and Immediately employed an ex.
pert accountant to investigate matters. When
Cox returned from Niagara he was arrested.
Cox was candidate for the Legislature last
"a
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
MATTERS METROPOLITAN.
Cong Saw Captured.

NEW YORK. June 19.-Mrs. Eva Zengler, Of
Chicago, who arrived here en- route to Europe
a few days ago, accused Wah Lee and Cong
Saw, laundrymen. in police court this morn
ing Of stealing her $500 cluster diamond pin.
Before leaving Chicago Mrs. Zengler sewed the
pin up in a little muslin pocket on the shoulder
of her undervest. To-day she sent the vest in
her wash to Cong Saws laundry. A little
while after the wash was gone she remem-
bered that she had not removed the pin. She
hurried off to the laundry and found the un-
dervest and the little muslin pocket, but no
Cong Saw and his assistant. Wah Lee, arrested.
They denied everything. They will be exam
ined Tomorrow.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

1t is long lane that has no turning. A
baseball umpire in Tennessee after being
fairly worn out with the usual assaults
upon his decisions, at last resorted to his ar
tillery and shot a man who disputed his
Judgment This indicates that the umpire
will have an inning now, and is no longer
disposed to be whitewashed.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

that the catastrophe at Johnstown was
caused by divine wrath, and that the vic
Tins were punished for their evil deeds;
but having expressed that opinion he goes
to work with liberal contributions and
practical aid for the relief of these sinners
from the punishment, which he asserts to
have been ordained by Divine power. We
are glad to observe that the good editors
practice is better than his theology.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

THE baseball record, SO far as made up
this week, indicates that if the Chicago
champions would 60 around the world
once more, and lose themselves in the wilds
of Australia, the Pittsburg team might be
able to beat them in the contest for fourth
place from the bottom.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

CHICAGO has discovered that railroad
rates are discriminating against her COM
merce and that Anson is away down in the
batting average. Consequently Chicago is
entertaining doubts as to whether life Is
worth living
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
TAKING THE CHINESE OATH.
A Singular Ceremonial Observed In PhiIa.
delphia Court.

H singular CefemOnlui ODsefVeu Id fuiIas
delphia Court.
ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE DrsRATcH1
PHILADELPHIA. June 19-Tuck Tie of Mott
street, New York, was on the witness stand in
court here to-day, in fan-tan case. 1t was de-
termned to administer Chinese oath to him,
as well the oath on the Bible. The interpreter,
with considerable ceremony, placed a saucer
in front of the imported witness, and placed in
his hand an iron bar that was said to have
been used in the Race street gambling house
as peacemaker. The witness then repeated,
after the interpreter. holding the bar. aloof:
"If should tell a lie in my evidence in this
case. may die as the plate is broken" And
with that he brought down the bar and smashed
the saucer to smithereens.
This was not the end of the ceremony In
terpreter Chew then lighted a match, and hold
ing it in close proximity to Ties nose the Chi
naman gave Whit or snort, and it was i'm
medately extinguished After this important
proceeding had been concluded the witness
went with his evidence. Two other China
men were also called in support of the alibi,
one of whom said he would be condemned to
hades If he told lie, aud the other one said
that the Bible was swearing book"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
A Charming Reception.

A reception was held yesterday afternoon at
the residence of Mrs. Albert H. Childs, on Am
berson avenue, Shadyside, in honor of Mrs. ]. J.
Pugsley. OF Ohio, and Miss Thompson. of New
York City. Mrs. A. II. Childs received the
guests. with the assistance of Mrs. H. Childs
Mrs. ]. j. Pugsley, Miss Chalfant, the Misses
Watson, Miss Marshall, Miss Bowers, Mrs. F. G..
Kay and Miss HeTerston. About 100 of the
elite Of Pittsburg were present.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
NEARLY CRAZED BY GRIEF.
The Wife of Mayor Dick. Her Friends sny,
May Lose Her Reason.

Special Telegram to The Dispatch.
GRBENsBURe, June 19-The wife of Chal
Dick. late Mayor of Johnstown. who with her
family is staying at the house of a relative at
Mt. Pleasant WILL it is feared, lose her reason.
She sits for hours in an apparently dazed con-
dition, dreamily looking into space, and it is
difficult at times to arouse her. Her entire
family. the Wagners, were drowned in the
flood.
Her husband, whose name became famous
because of his noble acts of kindness toward
the suffering people after the flood, vainly
endeavors to draw her mind from the sad
scenes.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
Big Money in DOGS.

From the New fork World.1
Thirty thousand dollars IS a large sum of
money to be represented by three dogs, and the
fact that values to that extent were wiped out
of existence by the death of three Of those
animals recently indicates that the line of in
vestment is a precarious one. Mr.. G. II. Moore,
of Melrose. Mass, is the loser, and he still has
other thousands of dollars in dogs.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

Mr.. BLAINE's Pan-American Congress,
which is to meet in Washington a few
months hence, is revival of the credible
effort which he made in the State Depart
ment eight years ago. Let us nope that the
revival of the good features of Mr.. Blaine's
policy in 1881. will not be accompanied by
any of the less desirable features, not
wholly free from the unpleasant aroma of
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
Tbrev nj, nIotber-iu.Law Ou..

Martin McNulty, OF Hoboken, went home
drunk last night and tried to beat his wife and
baby. His mother-in-law snatched the child
from him. He felled her to the floor with his
fist and kicked her in the back. Then he
threw her out of third-story window Twenty
minutes later aneighbor found her unconscious
on the pavement with broken shoulder,
fractured arm and a dislocated jaw. She will
probably not recover. McNulty is in jail pend
ing the result of her injuries.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
1t Would be Unfortunate.

From the New York Tribune.I
The denial of the report that John L. Still
van was on wild debauch is not altogether
welcome. 1t would be unfortunate if both he
and Kilrain should come to the scratch on July
8 in such perfect condition that neither could
knock the other into obscurity.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
guano.

A MEMBER of the Pennsylvania Legis-
lature may be exempt from arrest while re-
turning from the session of the Legislature;
but the people of the State will vote by a
large majority that he ought to pay his
board bill
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

The report that Sir Julian Pauncetote,
the new British Minister, "devours our
humor eagerly" is calculated to create fears
for our English friends health. 1t is well
known that an excessive diet of chestnuts is
liable to have very demoralizing effect
upon the digestion.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
Not a Rum Victory.
Satisfied with High License.

The Star says: The splendid working of the
high license law was doubtless one of the prin-
ci pal causes of defeat The friends of temper.
anee must not regard yesterdays result as a
blow dealt at cold water principles or victory
for rum, but simply broad expression of pub
lie opinion that prohibition was not the right
way to treat so great an evil as intemperance
1t must not be accepted as a fact that all, or
even any considerable portion. of the adverse
votes were cast by men who love rum or favor
Its use, but that thousands upon thousands of
the most thoughtful and conscientious men in
the State voted as they did under the confident
led to results far more disastrous than those
which some of the more ardent friends of pro-
hibition insist will follow the defeat of their
pet project.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

WITHOUT offensive partisanship, might
not Governor Foraker and the other cham
pions of the soldiers indulge in protest
against the removal of soldiers widow
from postofice in Indiana in order to
make room for Republican politician?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

The fate which pursues good man
struggling with adversely, is indicated by
the sad experience of DeVoe who was
moved by the Johnstown disaster to predict
a cyclone for last Monday and is again the
sport of the adverse elements.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
A Dandy Dsp6f.

Superintendent Patton and the clerical
force of the Baltimore and Ohio are ''tickled
all to pieces" over their quarters in the new
depot. They used to smile good deal in the
old ranch. but it will require yard stick to
measure their grins now.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
FOUND IN A BOTTLE.
A Message From the Dead Found Floating
in the River.

Special Telegram to The Dispatch.
wELIsvILLE. o., June ia cork ed bottle
containing the following note was taken from
the river here to-day:
see the food coming. 1t is about 50 feet away.
Cannot escape. Door locked. Cannot find key.
Goodby. j. MALoNEY.
JoHNsTowN, PA, May 81, 1889.
The penmanship is very good, but evidently
written in great haste.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
Trying to Classify worsted.

The Executive Committee of, the Wooden
Goods Association met IN secret session in its
room here this morning to discuss the question
of classifying worsted with wooden goods.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
The Beecher Statue Fund Growing.

The members of Plymouth Church, Brook
lyn, are collecting So. 000 with which to buy 7.
c. Conant's life size portrait Of Henry Ward
Beecher. The fund for the erection of a statue
of Mr.. Beecher in Prospect Park has been in
creased during the last month to about S3l, 600
The cost of the statue will be $95, 600
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

DURING the fortieth-or thereabouts,
day of rain. yesterday, the people of Pitts
burg would have voted unanimously on the
dry side, but not in favor of cold water.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
Tom Nast's New Job.

Thomas Mast will hereafter make pictures
for Time, humorous weekly. He will not
devote himself exclusively. as formerly to
political subjects, but will illustrate topics of
general Interest.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

WITH the election returns putting the
anti-amendment majority up in the vicin-
ity of 10000 it looks as if prohibition
were prohibited.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
her sIXIIETH ANNIVERSARY,

The Birthday Celebration Honored by Mrs.
MentZer and Friends.
The sixtieth birthday anniversary of MRS.
Margaret Mentzer was the occasion for pleas
ant family reunion on Tuesday evening, at her
residence, No. SO Washington street, Allegheny.
Of her. family, there were present: Mr.. Law
renee Mentzer, Misses Margaret, Teresa and
and Mrs. M. ]. Connolly. Mr.. and Mrs Florence
Mentzer, Mr.. and Mrs. Theo. Mentzer, Mr.. and
Mrs. Charles l.. Mentzer and Mr.. G. j. Mess.
After refreshments, dancing was indulged in
to music furnished by the Atlantic Band.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

| A FARMER by the name of Josh Virgins, of
Lancaster county, PENNSYLVANIA who is short
of stock, works his boy instead of mule.
| ADoLPH STRUTHERs, of Hancock county,
| Ohio, is bound to keep cool this summer. He
has invented q fan to be placed in his hat, which
is run by an electric battery carried in one of
his pockets. He has been using the fan for
several weeks past and says it works perfectly,
| and that he doesn't mind the extra weight.
A MAN who lives near Piatt, Sullivan county,
Pa, claims to have a scheme whereby he can
manufacture shoes with movable soles, so that
when one sole wears out the old one can be re-
placed with new one without any trouble,
WILLIAM MOONEY. of West Pike, Potter
county, Pa, has peculiar head of hair. When
a storm approaches every hair in his head
stands out straight, and as he wears his hair
very long he is quite a ridiculous sight. On
that account he never leaves the house when
it is cloudy.
A LITTLE girl in Preston county, West Vir-
ginia, was recently poisoned by eating straw
berries, and now when she goes near or sees
them she goes into spasm.
ON the lawn OF Joel Scarlet, at Kennett
Square, Pa, few evenings since, circle
about four feet in diameter seemed to have
been scalded in the grass. On closer look it
was found covered with yellowish fungi, which
turned bluish-black when the sun came out.
The phenomenon has been observed several
times, and was called fairy circle"
A PoTTsTowN, Pa, milkman served we'll
todo family whose regular supply was cents
worth of milk day, the cent being left outside
in cup. He lost on the measure, but filed
the cup daily to oblige them. But when en-
recent morning he found three cups set out
with penny in each. instead of a larger vessel
with three pennies he thought it time to drop
the contract and drive away.
COUNCILMAN TREAS Of Danville, Pa, while
cunning for frogs few days since, shot him.
self in the arm, the load seyering an artery.
His cries of distress were heard, but no doctor
could be got Tor q long time. and he was so
weakened by the flow of blood that he died in
few hours.
JOEL W. KECK. OF Western Salisbury, Pa,
had brood Of young turkeys and a colony of
bees. The two failed to harmonic. and when
the turkeys few days since yentured too near
the bee-stands the bees buzzed out by thou
sands and stung the whole brood to death.
JAMES Ross, prisoner in the Pottsville,
Pa, jail, yesterday opened an artery in his
arm with nickel spoon, and nearly bled to
death.
A TITUsvIL1E, Pa, merchant advertises
that those who pattern after him are no better
than monkeys.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20
THE ANSWER rs no.

THE ANSWER IS NO.
No thunder storms can scare now;
When skies grow dark we smile and say
'Tt rains again; wonder how
Many cloudbursts came to-day"
But can there be mortal brain
10 stand q whole day without rain9
81
1.-THE State is certain to go wet" said the
hustling high license anti-Prohibitionist. as he
walked away from the polls on Tuesday, "and
it is equally dead sure that shall be dry to-
morrow morning when get up"
kxa
TOO MUCH.
s'Oh give us water, ~ was their cry,
ssThis State with prohibition crown l"
The waters came, alas! too highl
Too much to drink, enough to drown.
So
ibid you vote yesterday" asked Soberly,
"Yes-voted dry" replied Swigger.
"You never voted for prohibition. a steady
drinker like you," said Soberly. with severity.
II didn't say voted for prohibition. voted
dry because the saloons were all closed on
Tuesday,"
*.h
FOR IT'S VERY SOUR THIS YEAR.
Touch not the berry ripe and red
Between the shining leaves,
For verify it must be said
The strawberry deceives.
From shame it hangs its blushing head,
And he who eats it grieves,
As one might after having read
A novel by Miss Rives. H.J.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

A Chance for American Enterprise.
From the Atlanta Constitution.1
The leaning tower of Pisa is to be sold. Some
enteFprising American ought to buy 10 and
straighten 1t up.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-06-20

THAT new suffrage amendment seems to
have been forgotten and very much left be-
hind in the struggle between cold water and
whisky,