Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-04
A MILITARY CRITIC.
What the Gentleman Said About
the Embryo Soldiers.

iments, SAYS the New York Tribune.
Sitting a few seats behind them was n
red-faced, waspish old gentleman who
carried gold-headed cane and looked
ailittle like John Gilberts Sir Anthony
Absolute. If he had lived hundred
wears ago he would certainly have cut
his Oldest son off with shilling after
the most approved fashion If he hadn't
done ANYTHING worse than that
The old gentleman had been smiling
contemptuously at the embryo soldiers
ever since the train left Croton, espec-
ially at one who sat nearest him, be-
cause he was young and not as large
around the waist as was consistent with
his ideas of manly proportion. lie
claimed that the young man would be
broken in two by the conclusion of
cannon-ball hurrying past anywhere
in the neighborhood. l pointed out
the fact TO the old gentleman that the
enemy would find it very difficult to
hit a man as thin as the one under
consideration; but that didn't satisfy
him.
Somewhere on the other side OF Mott
Haven the returning soldiers began to
put on their accouterments ready for
been Directing before TO the amount of
clothing they wore, claiming that the
new swallowtail coats buttoned up UNI
der their chins with fifteen or twenty
buttons were warm and uncomfortable
and ought to be discarded in favor OF
n flannel shirt and linen coat. He
would have his ideal regiment go into
battle wearing straw hats and carrying
Il - h., la
pared for what was coming. First
| each of them put on big white
! leather belt and buckled IL up tight.
The old gentleman snorted. Then
each adjusted n sort OF white leather
| harness which went over each shout
der and down at the opposite side,
crossing on the back and breast. The
old party suorted again. From this
harness on one side hung what
appeared TO be IA black cartridge box
weighing, apparently, five pounds,
while on the other side was little
pocket for bayOnet of about the pro-
portion of a policeman's club. Then
they helped each other put on two
pound epaulets with remarkably
large lambequins around the edge.
Then they put on white hemlets with
brass spikes on the top which looked
sharper than bayonets-Sir Anthony
continuing to snort. They were pretty
we'll covered with paraphernalia now,
but the worst was To come. Each one
reached down under the seat and
brought up sort OF square valisG
affair, which | supposed was haver-
sack. or something like that, which
seemed TO weigh about fifty pounds.
Rolled up on top Of it was a blue over
coat, for which there seemed to be nc
immediate demand, as the thermometer
stood somewhere in the neighborhood
of 90 or 100. They helped one an
other TO get this into place on thei
backs, and each one of them grasped ;
Gun which appeared TO be Of somewha
ancient pattern. The brakeman CLOSED
the ventilators. and they sat down OF
the edge of their seats and leane'
themselves against the pack on thei
: backs and began to enjoy themselve
ana 60 through the tunnel. 1t wa
some ten degrees hotter now, and tn
= lamps smoked and the old gentleman
| iabbed his cane into the car floor ant
= snorted.
"Now look at EN-" blurted out the
) old military critic, 'just look at 'em
e They can't help it. They don't carr
e all the stuff because they like to. bu
= the fact is that our militia Is always
hundred years behind the times. Nh
should they carry all these things TIL
= hot day? What are freight trains Tor
4 Even if there was war there would no.
ordinarily be any reason for loadln
- down men that way. a horse can cal
n nv such loads as well as man, but b
G can't shoot a gun, and it isn't good pc
q lev TO kill OFF all our men with tn;
kind of hard work and have the hors'
left. That sort of thing might haN
Is done two or three centuries ago, whe
d men were cheaper than horses, D'
l.. now men have gone up and horses hay
come down, and it's all played on
: There are too many trapplngs, u
r many unnecessary things, too muC
Il clinging TO old WORKOUT methods, u
much of this a-century- behind-th
Ill times-but-don t-kuow-it, too much @
De ry-man-is-a-machine about militai
H. matters wherever you find them.
;; Now look at those guns, some SO
of sinple-shot affairs with the stock @
re tending clear TO the end OF the barre
OF Single-shot rifles are way behind t
|
but the institution that guns are ma
40 for principally, the military. does
re seem to have heard of it. just imagi
one OF those men in the front line
battle shooting about once IN fife
minutes and getting his thumbs caug
Id in the breech OF his gun the rest OF I
no time. Such kind of work doesn't III
:. the enemy-what we're after in war
the enemy, darn him. L say in
m pound it TO the enemy and not 10
ro- our own mon down with unnecesst
cd freight and fire historic guns till III
arc dead and the enemy picks tn
ne pockets and goes of whistling. WI
ed we want is more common sense 9
nd less copying after European militi
.. customs of the last century and
army outfits in the war OF the ros
III Why, | believe that one good man
es- hind a rock with a modern rifle 90
;cb pick off an entire regiment oil n
- handicapped as these are while u
'rh we're landing those knapsacks, WI
r. "a.