The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-02-14
Iwain,s Embarrassing Fix.
From the Trenton State Gazette.

From the Trenton state Gazette.
| Several years ago, while Marx Twain
collecting retrospective materials for
his Life on the Mississippi he stopped
one day at Arkansas City. He had years
before known the place as Campbell'S Be d.
and naturally had der,ire to poke about
| unattended oy persons who would be likely
to break in upon his musings; so, avoiding
the committee that had been appointed to
receive him, he wandered off into the woods
| He thought nothing of tie distance he was
trayerSing. There was music among the
tree tops and flowers, rich and deep color
| ing, perfunled the air, says the arkansas
| Traveller. After a 10 & walk he came to a
cabin, and upon entering found an old and
| tangle-bearded man sitting near the empty
fireplace. The old fellow glanced at Twain,
and then, sprlnging between the visitor and
the door, snatched down a gun, cooked it
and said
80 I've got YOU, have II"
II don't understand your Twain
gasped.
"Oh, no, l reckon not. Err man never
understands a thing when he don't wan
ter Didn't stop your steamboat down
yander before this bend the other day and
steal six sheep that belonged to me, did
youp
Il will swear upon the honor of a
gentleman that [ did not. haven't bs9n
years"
"Sit down thar" Twain obeyed. The old
man continued: 1T mOut h We been good
while sense you was here before the other
day, but you got here just III time ter seal
the sheep, an I'm goin' ter have your skelp.
Hear meT
my dear sir you are laboring under a
frightful mistake. l never owned sheep in
my life"
''No, doa't reckon you ever did own
one, an mon that. nobody else amt apt to
own nary one WAR you hang out. Yes,
sab, come right here an tuck my sheep, an
ermong them wuz er pet lamb that m little
granddaughter loves better'n she does her
lie, an she amt slep 'er wink sense fur cry
in about it. Oh, you needn't blink, fur
am goin Ter hold you here till my little gal
comes, and hen Pm gon' to blow yo' head
off. 1t won't be long TO- she comes, an eff
you've got any pra'rs that you reckon
| oughter be said, why you better say EN-,
that's all"
"dy dear sir"
Don't dear sir me. I've got you, an
I'm goin' te. use YOU
"But how do you know that stole your
sheep"
you know how I know it, You know
that jest ez soon ez you seed me er comm
you showed off, an, MON tna- you know
that when jumped in canoe an S arted
ter paddle out ter you, wy, you shot at me.
You know all That we'll enough"
"Merciful hea7en!n Twain exclaimed.
Vas sah vas; that's erbout whut I
lowed, but the boat pulled on away"
A stick snapped outside. Great neavensr
Twain thought, is the girl coming" n,
| 1t was only calf, The expression en- the
old fellows face grew harder. There was
a cruel twitcning about the corners of his
mouth.
"Oh, don't you fret, she'll be here
dreckly."
MY friend, said Twain, with an effort to
be calm, ''if you will go with me over to
would not steal sheep"
II don't want no proof that comes from
that place. You tell a lie, an them felers
over thar would sw'ar ter it. | see
my little gal comil through yander. Ez
said jest now, eff you've got any pra'rs
you want said, WY, | reckon you better say
'em"
Would you commit murderq'
Would you steal Sheep!"
"Surely not. "
Can, hah, an shelly I wouldn't be com
mittin' murder by KILN SIGH a Teller ez YOU
| mir. Don't move now, fur eff you do
I'll drap you. Come, quick now, befo'
the gal comes, tell me Ell you know
who did steal them sheep, that is et you
didn't
II think do" Twain quickly rejoined,
and thea, remembering the name of a steam
boat engineer whom re ad known before
the war, ne added: "Jo Billings stole your
Sheep
The old fellow looked sharply at him, and
replied;
Air you shore"
Il am certain
"Was you on his bo,t at the time!''
frf, H,,1~ H..
them, but could uot.n
win you help me to I'D him."
"Yes.n
Wall, then, scoot. Quick, befo' the gal
comes"
Whel Twain reached Arkausaw City he
found The perpexel and disappointed c M
| mijtee. He was nervous aad depressed
! While he was standing in the Office Of the
| hotel some one said:
Mr.. Clemens, you used to know 10 Bill
ings, didu'y you"
Twain felt an uneasiness crawling over
| him.
p" he lealled.
! There Lo isn
! Twain looked around and started. The
! old fellow wac fa1 he'd AIM in the cabin
carn forward, snorsed aud then said:
SAN, uuEhter shot YOU fur nos lowin
| me-, b re 3@on I've changed some. Sheep,
/ wy, never had one inmy life. Hlw, az.
/ Come, fel ers, lere'S ter Sam an his erbili5y
Ter stA hedge on the truth"
Agent Of the Book Concern.
New YORK, Feb. 1.-THE book COM
mttee Of TIE Methodist Episcopal church
to-day elected Rev. II NOR Eaton If Bur-