The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1889-05-04

'i~i iSi t'iS iSAI iihSS "CChS. ndl
will be the result if you put two women
at work. They will spin out the Job as
long as possible"
at won't take over a week"
'A week 1t shouldn't take one day.
| can go at it and do all the cleaning
necessary in one hour"
l didn't say anything further until
after supper. Unfortunately for me one
OF the women returned to ask about a
matter she had forgotten, and Mr.. Bow
ser saw her and said:
care you one of the women who are
going to clean house here?"
"Yes sah."
Excuse me, but don't believe it
If there's any cleaning to be done I'll
do 1t myself. You needn't put in an
appearance here to morrow nor any
other day."
can you's gwine to clean house ?"
she asked in surprise.
81 am. | know it does not belong
to mans state, but have young and
inexperienced wife who is easily lmpos-
ed on, and | am gong to prove to her
that this house cleaning business is ali
fraud"
"Mr. Bowser," l said, as he returned
to the sitting room, "didn't you have
an experience last spring?"
ayes, ma'am, l experienced this
house from top to bottom in just two
hours, and it still remains the cleanest
house in Detroit. l have nothing par
ticular to do tomorrow, and | shall take
mold"
"I-I can't help you any.
"When l want your valuable assist
ance, | will ask for it. Mrs. Bowser. As
| am feeling IN good spirits this even
ing, | might as well begin on that coal
stove. I'll wrestle it out into the back
hall, ready to go to the barn in the
morning."
l went up stairs just as he pulled off
his coat and spit on his hands. knew
just what muss he'd make and | didn't
want to be there to see. In few min
utes l heard the clatter OF the stove
pipe, as four or five lengths bounced
around on the floor, and three minutes
later there was wild yell for help. |
ran down just as the girl got in from the
kitchen. Mr.. Bowser was lying on his
back on the floor and the stove was
lying on Mr.. Bowser. He was almost
black in the face as he gasped:
"Take him off-taks the blamed
thing off of me p
The girl and l succeeded in lifting it
high enough for him to roll out, and he
sat up and groaned and swore and
threatened dire things.
81 was AFRAID it would be too much
tor you," said as l offered him wet
towel.
"Oh, you were How kind of you !
You are disappointed because the infer
nal thing didn't knock the life out of
me p
went up stars and rested awhile.
Then / heard MIN moving the furniture
about, and by and by he came up to
say:
81 want some salt to put on the car
pet before sweep"
"But that carpet must come up, Mr..
Bowser. It's been down two years."
"Fhat's all nonsense Mother never
lifted carpet until it was worn out.
Where's the salt ?"
"But the curtains must come down,
the woodwork be rubbed with a damp
cloth, the windows washed, and"
"And the roof of the house raised
ten feet, of course. One would think
we'd had smallpox in the house. I'll
get the stepladder and take the curtains
down. Perhaps I'll take the carpet up
tomorrow. but it's waste of time"
He went down and got the ladder,
and l heard him whistlng as he worked
at one of the curtains. His whistle
presently cut short off, and there was a
crash and a yell, and l flew down to
find Mr.. Bowser lying across that end of
the lounge which still remained in the
room. His eyes were closed and l
thought him dead from his fall. | got
the camphor and the girl flung water
in his face, and by and by he gasped
and opened hls eyes and family asked:
as this heaven ?"
"No, Mr.. Bowser," gently replied,
"this is only spring housecleaning."
"What has happened?" he contin-
ued, as he rose up.
"You had fall"
"And while | was unconscious you
took the advantage of my condition to
take five dollar bill from my wallet !"
81 never thought of such thing"
''Well, | can't tell later on. | had a
sensation as of some one feeling IN my
pockets. I'll have that curtain down If
il takes a leg"