The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-11-03
THE BEST SOCIETY MAN.
WHAT KIND OF MAN IS THE BEST
MAN?

Like2 - And What Kind Wears
BestP My Own Best Man - Some
Other Types OF Best Men-A Little
Good Advice to the Rosebuds.
Copyright 1897
NEW YORK, Nov. IL was at a big
wedding short time ago, and good deal
was said about the best man. meaning, Of
course, the attendant of the bridegroom,
| but the phrase, although so familiar, struc K
me as familiar phrases often do, as full Of
meaning beyond the moment.
The best man. The best man among the
bridegroom's friends. perhaps; well, what
made him bests and as my thoughts wan
dered on, stole some critical glancss at the
individual / was on my summer vacation
abroad, and on the morning in question was
at st. Georges, Hanover square, London,
and the best man had title, and a great deal
of money, and proud position, but as
thoughtfully scanned his weak, handsome
face and languid figure, and general air
of ennui and boredom, l said to myself.
mo he's not the best man here to-day"
And from that began TO think over the
men knew both in Europe and in my own
land, and to pick out those whom | ranked
best, aud those whom other women called
best, and laying awake that night, as /
have trick of doing when the day is not
long enough to think out my thoughts, |
found the subject so fertile one that | will
invite my friends, both men and women, to
consider it little with me.
The best man all around that you know:
the man you would select If you could
never see another beside him for the rest of
your life; best for now, WI en- youth is still
aglow, and love is lord paramount, and the
faith in ones own divine right of happiness
is still predominant, and best for the later
years when all this shall have failed, and
practical, pidless middle-age shall have
torn down the illusions Of to-day; best, too,
for old age, if we are doomed to live to see
it, the time when we shall return to a child s
necessity Of protection and nurture, with
out a child's sweet promise and claim upon
its parents care. Should that time come for
you ana me, dear girls, what man would
seem to us the best man thenl
We cannot quite tell yet, as we consider
the men who surround us in all the heydey
Of youth or the pride of maturity: but one
thing we do know, and don't let US for
get it.
just as the boy lis father to the man. so
the young man is father to the old.
The young fellow who is selfish and hard
aud untruthful, not even though he NAV
In manners, is going to grow more selfish
and untruthful, even while he losses the
beauty and grace of youth. Veneer does
not last well on shaky wood nor gold laid
upon base metal, nor do fine manners en-
dure to the end unless there is a substratum
of honor and unselfshness and seIf-com-
mand to lay them upon.
Again, IL you see a young fellow throw
himself into the softest chair In the room.
or heap the cushions in the sofa-cOrner to
support his half-reclining figure, il he uses
fan in hot weather and hovers near the
heater in cold weather, if he grows ami
mated in discussing the menu, and languid
when some disaster involving thousands of
lives is spoken Of, then, no matter how
charming, no matter how fascinating. how
hattering, how poetic that young fellow
may be, he IS not the best man, for he is at
heart materialist, selfish Sybarite, a
man whose sympathies begin and end in
his own comfort; man who, as youth
passes away, will gradually slip away from
the restraints Of appearances and conven-
tional self-sacrifice, and in middle and old
age frankly claim his own indulgences, his
own ease, his own narrow circle of enjoy
melt. no matter how it may conflict with
the happiness of those about MIN,
No. this is not the best man. Again, our
young man may have neither of these
classes of faults; he is generous, SYM
pathetic. hardy, unselfish, and courageous
both in mind and body, but is what some
people call little fast.
Disslpateda Oh, no, not so much as that,
but he drinks a little too much, he bets and
plays for high stakes at his club. he
is seen in questionable or unquestionable
company. there are a good many stories
whispered about him, and some which
mammas are careful their girls shall not
hear.
Nothipo, on Vow, x,uoh o15 ...AL.... A.
the ladies who meet him in society are
obliged to know anything about, and in the
ordinary routine of society had certainly
best not insist upon Knowing.
But like the little rift within the lutte.
the little speck upon the garnered peach.
these things will grow and spread, and In
time silence the music and corrupt the
flavor of the whole.
This man is not the best man for the
years to come.
But, some one will say, you are narrow
ing down your lines until there be room for
none but saints between them.
oh, dear, no, my friend, l don't person
ally like saints, although, of course. I
respect them hugely. To be sure, | have
never known many, but those have been
privileged to study always seem to me a
little narrow in their views, a little self
engrossed, little sharp after money for
some benevolent purpose or another. Self
denying they all were, and morbidly con-
scientious about spending a penny upon
themselves that could possibly be spared to
the Lords own poor; but the trouble with
my saints has generally been that they in
sist upon ray being as self-denying as they
were, and casting all my pennies into the
poor-box after theirs
Not being a saint myself, have always
failed to fulfill the expectations of these
honored friends, and so we have fallen apart.
But am afraid not even among those
should | find that best man for a lifetime.
for l sbrewdly fear that and elderly man
saint would be little hard, little reuuir-
ing, little severe upon human infirmity.
a little too much of disciplinarian for real
comfort and enjoyment
Where, then. is the best man? have
met him once or twice, and hope to meet
him again, that is to say, my best man, for
perhaps yours would be quite another indi-
vidual
One whom have in mind was fine-look-
ing, although not handsome; he was brave
as lion, morally and physically; he was
ambitious, enterprising, and of untiring
industry, he was reticeht to the world, and
generously con6ding to those he felt it wise
to trust; patient and accomplishing under
great wrong and suffering, he was tender
as woman toward the suffering of others.
and knew how to offer sympathy so deli.
cateiy that the sorest heart could receive it
without a panp