The Dickinson press., 1889-11-09
HOW DO YOU REGISTER?
THE WAY THE HOTEL CLERK SAYS
HE CAN READ CHARACTER,

THE WAY THE HOTEL CLERK SAYS
HE CAN READ CHARACTER.
Sizing Up Strangers by Their IIan,lwrit-
ing-lf You Belong in the Bridal P:srlor
He's ns Sure to Find 1t Out as If You
We're Ono of the Sky Parlor Fraternity.
The hotel clerk had just concluded an
extended consultation with the proprie-
tor. They had definitely determined
that the new addition to the hotel for tho
accommodation of the Worlds fair Wis
itors should contain $500 rooms. For
some reason this made the clerk cheer
fully Ioquacious. He actually bcamed
on newly arrived and just registering
guest, he felt so happy
'FRONT.' Show this gentleman to room
sol. Yes. sir, there's bath"
Now, had noticed that the clerk as.
signed the guest to room sol (Which had
a bathroom attachcd) before the afore-
said guest had said word as to tho
desirability of that very excellent addi-
ton to the guest chamber l presumed
that tho newcomer was known to the
clerk, who possibly was familiar with
the guests predisposition to personal
cleanliness, and asked him if that was
the case.
NO" replied the clcr!; ;flably; hotel
clerks are always atfablc. 81 never saw
the man before, but l knew from the
manner in which he registered that he
wanted all tho convenienccs the hotel
affords"
"kncw from tho way he registeredl" l
repeated in surprise.
"Ics, | very seldom fail to size Il man
up from the way he handles the register.
Ono half q hotel clerks value consists of
his memory for faces and the names that
go with them. Tho other half is his
ability to read the desires of stranger
guest from outward indications as lie
spreads his signature over tho register.
OF course, sometimes get left but not
often"
a WALKING EXPoSTULATIoN.
Wont you put mo on!" This from
me, anxious for information regarding
new feature of character reading
"Why, certainly; it's no secret. Take,
for instance, the newly married young
husband as the easiest example. His
lunch is the simplest. can always To-
cate him from the nervous way in which
he adds And wife to his name, even if
his bushes didn't disclose his newncss in
the role Of benedict But it won't do to
let him know you arc dead onto him.
Oh, no! Instead of that lead him to
believe that | am lahoring under a dclu-
Sion that he's the father of a large and
constantly increasing family. That style
of treatment just ticklcs him nearly to
death. And don't say word about
the bridal chamber, but he gets it Just
the same.
Gone of the oldest characters VIC have
to deal with is the choleric old gentle
man who wont register until he knows
just where his room is, how it fronts and
where the fire escape is; how much we're
going to charge him per diem, and if the
bed has been aired. a kicker? Why,
he's a walking cxpostulation. Yet that
type of man usually ends by taking the
very best in the house and paying his
bill without q murmur There are lots
worse than no if you only work him
right.
"lhere is the man, too, who, before he
registers, looks all over the names and
addresses on the register for II week
back, and yet never seems to know a
soul in the house. l generally assign
him cheap room, and if ho gets away
without paying it's not our fault. AS
for the travelling man and the theatrical
advance agent, its no trick to pipe them
off. The 12ycar-old bell boys can do
that before they get into the door. But
there are diffcrentsp species of those classes,
and it requires an expert to decide in adj
vance just what they want. Generally
l gauge them by the size of their sigma
lures, on tho basis that the larger tho
signature the smaller tho room.
soME QUEER CHARACTERS
'As Il rule the man with the mcgath-
crian autograph is generous only with
writing ink. Again, find that tho
more airs a man puts ON before tho hotel
register the more apt ho is to be satisfied
with u roof parlor and one towel
"Onco in a while we have a quecrcr
character even than usual to deal with.
Only yesterday a fine looking man, whom
aftrrward found to bc distinguished
scientist, couldn't for the lifo of him
think of his own name when he came to
sign it on the register Tho general run
of queer customers comes from the agri-
cultural districts A big city hotel is
revelation and terror to him. Every
thing in and about first class caravan
sary surprises and scarcs him-cvcry-
thing except the dining room-there he
is very much, too much, at home. Even
the first act of singing the register is Il
serious, an awful thing to him. To him
the signing of his name, besides being an
act Of mental and physical difficulty, is,
in his mind, ever connected with judg-
mcnt notes, mortgages, lawsuits and
foreclosures
The mcekcst and easiest to satisfy of
all whom hotel clerk meets is the
typical western cowboy. The tougher
he is on the plains tho meeker he is here
The muzzlc ofaloadcd Colt placed against
his temple wouldn't make him turn half
SO pale as the sight Of pen and ink thrust
toward him. He is out of his element
then and lie appreciates it without the
slightest effort at disguise "-Charlcs
Lcdcrer in Chicago Herald.