Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-10-10
IHE WELL BRED WOMAN.
SHE is NOT ALWAYS TO BE FOUND
ON THE UPPER CRUST.

ON THE UPPER CRUST.
Common Sense and Tact Greater Essentials
to True Refinement Than Birth and
Breeding-Self Satisfied Individuals Who
Create Their Own Pitfalls.
If one definition of what constitutes vul-
garity of manner could be determined upon
there would be in the world less uncertainty
of purpose. less dissatisfaction with self and
sudden Mortified collapse from establishment
without end.
For it is not alone such as feel their inferi-
ority in birth or breeding who have a trace
of commonplace about them, but the very
self satisfied ones, who cannot conceive in
themselves an error. are by Others seen to be
tripping at many place where there is no
apparent pitfall
necessities to produce good manners. two
other things are as needful characteristics
inborn-plain common sense and tact
Just LOOK AT ME-"
The natural intuition and aptitude Of
women to make things straight for ones
feet, to strew thorny path with fowers-a
trait Of character seldom found in the other
sex-the world defines by the one word
''tact," and hence it is that, common sense
being an attribute of both sexes, with tact to
weigh down the feminine side of the balance
it is not surprising that we see more appar-
emily well bred women ir the world than
men.
Apparently, say, for given the same op-
portuniJies can they get more Of the real
thing than men! Hardly; yet such is their
endowment of observation, such their quick
inception of ideas, that they more quickly
seem to be-anything desired.
Defend me from the person who calls him
self well bred" is truism uttered long ago,
but which aptly hits off certain class of the
elect who people the world today. The same
writer affirmed that the sure test of a gentle
man is whether he does the trifing acts Of
courtesy that society demands of its votaries
with perfect Inconsistencies or with an air
which says: "Just look at ne; see how polite
ami"
Things done have a voice as well as things
said, and it is by the little details which sum
up our daily manner that the world judges
us.
1t is so easy to fall into bad habits, half the
courtesies Of life require exertion, and hui
mainly is inert Be not surprised then that
the large majority of wise seeing persons,
knowing that pitch defleth, carefully avoid
association with those whose speech and man
ners ere interlarded with, what for kindness
sake may be called-mistakes. In country
such as ours, "free to all, as they say of GER
tain horse races, it cannot be expected that
every one who enters, or aspires to enter, so
-, l. 4 IL.
his youth up which best cultivate the speech,
the mind and the manners, but we have all
God given powers OF observation, and he
who refuses to learn by using them is not
wise in his day and generation.
ONE KIND OF LEADER"
At meeting Of a certain literary club,
composed of the so called society women of a
certain city, several distinguished women
were invited-women from afar-to hear a
very able paper read on a certain subject Of
widely general interest. Previous to the
meeting these guests had heard much of the
acknowledged leader of society in the place.
Have you met Mrs. D-2" everybody
questioned "You will admire her so much
she is charming; such lovely manners; SO well
bred SO much admired; we are so proud Of
her," etc., everybody affirmed. The intro
auctions were arranged to take place at the
literary society.
The meeting convened with its usual for
mality, prologued by the charming frou frou
of womens voices and gowns, Is in the gen
eral informalty of arrival everybody greeted
everybody else with pleasant words, and
fiuttered about from group to group. The
guests looked curiously at each bright face,
expecting it to be a part of the charming
personality of lovely Mrs. D.. The presi-
dent addressed the assembly, the secretary
read the notes of the last meeting, some
heads Of committees maze reports-in fact,
the business was all transacted and no Mrs.
D. had arrived.
AT last the president introduced the speaker
and the event of the meeting, the reading of
paper which had been in preparation for
months, began. As it continued in smoothly
rounded periods, argument after argument
being unfolded with strength and logic that
fixed all attention, an interruption occurred;
there was a soft rustic of feminine draperies,
the door was thrown open, on the threshold
appeared tall, willowy figure, graceful as
an aspen, clad in picturesque astheticness
and crowned by smiling, beautiful face.
She looked absently moment or two, hest
assembly room before the very face Of the
waiting, astonished speaker, in front of the
president, and drew chair before the burn
ing Goals of great open fire. Then, with
another pretty rustic Of draperies, a gather
ing up of skirts, showing rufie after ruffie of
filmy lace, graceful shape sank into cush-
Toned depths, two daintily shod little feet
were extended toward the stage and, with
pretty gesture and a faint, low, half apollo
getic laugh, voice broke the silence with
the words: MRS. President, l am so sorry,
but was unavoidably detained Won't you
ask dear Mrs. c. TO commence over againi
l would so regret to miss anything of hers"
the distinguished guests looked and listened
aghast Intuition told them who had thus
dared | forget what the president said.
The paper was continued at the point of in
terruption, but the distinguished guests de-
cGned the honor of meeting the social leader
whose manners were 80 charmingly well
bred,n and the city, represented by its women,
blushed
to blame after all she Was human. Asocis-
ton had spoiled her.
Association Shell the leader Of society
of the cultured. best bred people! Yes, she,
for she had associated for years with naugnt
but sdulation, and her conduct was but a
proof that common sense and tact are a:
necessary to true refinement as birth and
hreedinS.-S. s. E. N in Chicago Herald
Germs of the Months.
For January We have iacinth, or garnet,
which denotes consistency and fidelity in every