The Washington critic., 1889-03-14
MATTER WORTH READING.



ranip," said Che Governor of Missis-
II. addressing an old negro who dis
reed the important duty of taking care
he State House yard show do you like
l. change IN the Administration ~
whut 'ministration, sab ~
Why, the going-iu Of Republican
sident.n
Is de Publican President dun gone inY
oh, yes"
Is he dun got in dar an stet de do ~
Well, he is in the White House."
But is de do shet ~
What difference does shutting the door
u. e?'
1r heap er diffunce, sab, Gaze Of dc do
shet some o. dem Dimeicrats might
dar an count him out"
'ou ought not to speak so dispnragingly
e Democrats, Hamp.r'
low Gomez
ecause you are Democrat
as. sab, | has been in er manner, an
n whut makes me say whui do, but
su gwine fool wild politics no mo-. GIFTS
trouble. When wuz er Publican
mercrat had me rested on er charge o.
> er haug dat want mine, an sense |
.ri ar Dimercrat or Publican had me
up on or charge o. stealin' er ballot
ut YOU were innocentYh
as, sab, ease when stole de hauy
Publican jury"
ell, but you were not convicted on
ar iarge of stealing the ballot-boxy'
D, sab, case de Dimercrais tried me dat
tuck 1t inter my head dat bet6cr
p desc yer Mudwumps, an while wuz
dt tuck or ole, no'count saddle o1en or
... Da rested me, sah an rung in er
nUa jury on me, an blame Of da didn'
s,o. nee me ter de penytenchy iur er year,
o yo'se'f hadn't er pnrdoned me I'd e.
,- in dar yit mong all dem po' white
suppose you will be a Republican,
4as HampY'
IN, sab, rs gwine wait erwhile an
ioa W de thing works. Ef de President
WI my ole place fur me, lis wild him
nd last"
lat is your old placcp''
stor o. de Ebeneezer Church, sah.m
"The President has nothing to do with
that.n
"But he ken tell dem nigeers ter put me
back der, KANT lie w
"Of course he. e.could do it, but it would
be far beneath the dignity OF President
"Wall, it's fur meath my dignity ter
come er shoutin' fur him, den. I'm gwine
shout fur de man dat shouts fur me, l is.
De guberment dat wuz in lub Wild stood
by an seed dem niggers bounce me outen
dat church."
'What had you done?"
Hadn't done nothin', sab, but preach de
gospel an de cruci6ed.n
"If'thats the case they should not have
ousted you.n
"Dat's whut thinks. | preached
ter 'em straight ef ever er man
did in this woll'. Tole ZEN de truf,
too Printed out dat da wuz slidin' down
inter torment mighty peirt, but whut did
da do terward me fur all dat truf? Da
fused to pay me whut da owed me; dat's
whut da done. But did stan dar like eg
ioolY No, / didn'. Invent ober an knockl
down er ca'f dat 'longed ter one o. de dea-
cons, cut him up an tuck him home. i
WANT gwine let 'em put er inuzzle on de
OK dat had been er tramplin' on dat ar
grain"
''What did they do with you, ,thenf't
ada didn' treat me Fight, da didn'. Da
sont me ter jail fur six months and when |
come out ds had dun tuck de pulpit way
frum me an had siold my Bible ter boot
OATS whut da done. Ole Steve Wilson he tnck
my place. | went ter de church, l did, 'au
bout de time he dun .uck his text outen
my Bible snatched him outen de pulpit"
"What did the congregation do?'
"Wall, sab, da didn' pear Ter be plelsed.
Da grabbed me an tuck me out an
bucked me ergin er'white-oak tree, da did.
Wusn dat, da wouldn' let me take de
sackament wild 'em. Da driv' me of, too."
"And now you want the president TO
make them take you back.n
"Dat's whut does, an ef he doan amt
bis man, dat's all."-[opie p Read, in Ar
kansaw Traveller.
Old Story of Labouchere.
The following is told Of M. Labouchere:
When quite o young man he was for q time
secretary to the British Legation, Vienna.
While there It happered that Lord c.,
the ambassador, had togo suddenly on a
mission 70 st. Petersburg, leaving sLabby''
in charge The next day, frequent visitor
| Of high rank, Court C----, walked into the
office, and in his usual haughsy manner in
qujred Of the secretary II Lord c. wa,
in. Labouchere replied that he wasnot
Whereupon Count B., without ceremony
or further question said: "0h, very well
then I'll wait, y and, suting the action u
the word, sat down. Having sat for con
siderable time, he asked: slave you an,
idea how long 1t win be before his lofdshiI
will returnfn Whereupon "Labby," will
his usual sang froid, replied. ain abou
six weeks, think, sir He started onl!
yesterday forst. Petersburg"
| Queer Elopers.
| A few days ago the ears landed at Nc
Keesport, Pa, young man without legs,
a handsome, dasbing brunette, q hand earl
and dog. The girl harnessed the dog L
the cart, lifted the man into il and helpct
to push the cart across the Reynoldtowr
bridge where they took the train aud de-
parted. Later in the day an officer frou
Letonla, Ohio, arrived in search of them
He said they were elopers.
A Substitutes Troubles.
An Englishman named st, John has beel
travelling In the West. He got SO tired ex
planning TO every one that his name wa
pronounced '.siniun'' that he finally hire
a man to do 1t for him.. and at last aC
counts the man had got into six fights wit
groveling hotel clerks who tried TO persuad
him that he didn't know how to pronounc
his employers name,-[st. Louis Globe
Democrat.
CnNAIENr nN MEN,S WEAR