The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1889-10-03

4 LIfLE:.NONSENSE NOW AND THEN
Is RELISHED BY THE MOST OF
MEN-AND WOMEN TOO.
Who LOOsens up the Hide of His Eel
lOw-man and Makes Him Laugh, is
BenefactOr to that Man.
He-s'Do you believe in marrying
| for money, Miss Antique1" She'll
don't know; how much have you got4"
l-EpoeA. ,--...--
1t is curious fact that while women
are reticent about their own ages, they
have no hesitation about publishing
the ages of other women.-PiHs6nrg
| Bulletin.
Guest-"You seem musical. al
ways hear you whlstling. What is
your favorite song?" Waiter-"Re-
member me, sah." He got a quarter.
-N Y Sun.
If grown men only knew as much
as their mothers think they know when
they are babies the world would have
no further use for cyclopedias.-Som-
er0iHe Journal
Humorist-" suppose the little joke
will go at regular rates if accepted. 7"
Editor-"Yes, l guess so. 1t is too
old to travel for half-fare any longer."
T. Terye Haute Express.
Clara (patronizingly)-"It is good
plan for person in society, to try at
least to look WISE" Debutante-
"True But don't you sometimes find
it hard to do so?"-Drake's Maga-
zine.
Head Clerk-ssI' m letting my whis-
kers grow, sir" $50 see but can't
permit employees to grow their whis-
kers in business hours. That must be
done in their own time. - Toronto
GRIP.
His only failing.-Miss Charity
els your husband addicted to the use of
alcoholic stimulants!' Recipient for
aims -"No, indade, mum, not he ;
his only tailin' is drinking" "-Lav-
renee american.
Proud father-"Heavens! What a
passion for the sea my son Siegfried
has. Last evening he went to the
naval ball afterwards he was seasick
and now-he is eating raw clans. -
Fiegende Blaette>.
!, "What general event happened ir
.. 1862" asked Boston school teacher
referring to the Centennial Fair
Whereupon a bright boy answered
"The National Base Ball League wa
. formed then."-N. Y Tribune.
A man of family. PRODIGY"
, hear you have been getting married.
i Tooker-" Yes" PRODIGY" Whou
e did you marry?" Tooker-" "Mill
l Jones, her mother, her step-father, ant
. two maiden aunts. "-Ha,bey's Baza,
Nowadays the young men of tn
j. period don't 60 down on their knee
= in nervous agony before their futur
e future wives. They hold a solitair
: diamond ring above their heads an
!. the girls jump for it.-Somervi2e /oa'
. naL
# Fond mother" Johnnie, did yo
r. give the bigger apple to Charlie, as
e told you tor" Johnnie-'No; yo
:. see ate his apple up first by mistake.
/ "Did you give him the other or
'e then?' "Oh, no; you see that or
. was mine. ."-Ltgh.
Old sportsman" All, see you,
got a partridge. Did you use BIZ
le shot?" Amateur sportsman (sarca
u u tically-"Of course l did. How {
~ ~ you think 1 killed him2 S'pose
" caught him in barn, and clubbe
N him to 1"-Puek.
is Judge-"You are freeholder
T. T. Prospective -"Yes, sir
III III Tudge-"M Married or single ?" Pro
> pective juryman-"Married three yea
ago last month" Judge-"Have "
ID formed or expressed any opinIon-
1e Prospective juryman-"Not since
I'd was married, three years ago."-Bc
it ton Post.
MT Mr.. Goodcatch calling on the ell
of est sister)-"Why, Johnny, how y
on are growing1 You'll be man befo
your sister, if you keep on" "Y
n bet will. Sister'll never be man
nd she keeps on being twenty like she h
nd for the last five years" Then the
d. was trouble in the household.-La
nd renee american.
Tommy-"Are we going to t.
49, the cat with us when we go to
~ grandma next week." Mrs. Fig
- "Of course not. What makes you Z
20 20, such foolish questions3" Tommy
La Sa "'Cause l heard pa tell Mr.. Bra!
~ " that the mice would have high I
~ time while the cat was away next we
~ ~ that's all" "-7erre Hanke Express
an Softpate-"Whatcher think of
i'm dawg, Miss Sprightly9 Fine ds
s. that" Miss Sprightly-"He is
mt splendid creature" Softpate-
t is have refused a cool thousand for