The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-25
BRIGHT BITS

Mrs. MAGNUs-I think travel broadens one;
don't you think so, Mrs. Lofty?
Mrs. Lofty-Oh, Ia! yes. Why, l gain ten
or htteen pounds every time go TO Yurrup.-
OrGke's Magazine.
AT THE JEwELERs.-"But, Max don't you
think it extravaganza to give $500 for a damon /
to wear on my hanl,"
Not at all, my dear: you don't consider how
much shall save on your gloves. "-Flueoends
Batter
Mr.. HIBRED What do you suppose the bard
referred to when he wrote of ''the slippered
pantaloon"?
Mrs. Slapdash-Resly have no idea.
Little Robbie b9t you know.
Ms. S.-My son, you were not spoken to-
Truth.
How TO GET THERE.-First stranger lin Boz.
tonl-Can you tell me how to reach Washington
street?
Second Stranger That's just where want to
go. Let's work together. You go south aui I'll
20 nor b, and Wen report progress every time
we meet.-Pltck.
On THE RIGHT RoAD.-Boggs "a New York re
porter sent TO write up the Inebriates' Home
gets intoxicated on the wayl-I (hic) shay
lumY"
lrlnger-I should Judge from your appear
ahce thAt you were erdS SJtn0s.
FwEnDIE-Awful, wasn't it, about pooah Chol-
lie twYing to hang himself lawst week. Won
der why the fellah wanted to dief
GusSle 1t all a mistake about his twying to
hang himself, don't you know. He was only
twying to-ah-stwetch his neck to fit his-ah-
coltah, don't you know.-Te re Hdute Express
DUDEsBY-Ah. heah that Chawley Littlesense
was, aw, expelled from the Knickerbockaw
Tub
Braneless-Yes. One Of ouah members, don
cherknow, Mt, aw, into the club room, AMI
found, aw, the fellah thinkn'.
Oudesby-Bah Jove what a bweak - Nash
UiAe american.
THERE ARE QUARTS AND QUARrs-Elder
Berry--How much are these blackCaps quart
DeaconY
Deacon Sanders (the grocerl-Twelve cents
Elder Berry-All right, d aeon; here, I've
brought quart measure along to get 'em in
Deacon Sanders Wall, FL Ter, I'll have to
charge you SO cents for that full--Puck.
A CLINCHRR. Outraged Erin-"Gintlemin, l
wud loike to aShk thin Am arikins wan thing
Who doog the canals Nv the coontry but furrin-
ersP Who built the railruds NV the coontry but
furfiners! Who woorruks the mines NV the
coontry but furriners? Who does the votin' fur
the cooutry but furriners? And who the divil
disacoovered the country but furrners? Life.
IT WAS ExPLAINABLE.-"Weigh me, pleasey"
said Briggs. as he stepped on grocers scales.
The man who manipula ed the weights locke
at him in asto ishnent.. Briggs looked as
though he Ought to weigh about 100 pounds,
but the beam balanced at 202.
You must have something heavy about vour
'On, that's it, re1oneu Briggs; Il have my
summers ice bill in my POCKET. '-Ne1O York
Sun.
lRATE HusBAND-For heavens sake, can't you
talk about 30 netting besides dresses:
Wife-Certainly, my dear You ought t. see
the b,nnets they are making nowadays at
smiths stepped In to- ay and saw a beauti-
fol thing in pink for only $37, and others were
Of course a good deal more expensive A So
EN- just took my eye, but | thought wouldn t
get one that cost as mucl that before W
YOU. OF course | can TAX alb Ut something be-
sides dresses, you dear old huoby.-Time.
A LIVELY Standardization Squeer-So
20 out "A Jersey. Wen, tho e It'll
to IS are pleasant enough, but must say thu
life
franklin de Be leville-Hurry and rush! You
gu mt u see the co nuterS at our place IRVINE.
to catch the morning train. And fever! Why,
there's more fever out there in proportion to
population than tn re is in a hospital If YOU
want hurry and rush and fever, come out and
take house.-Pltck.