Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1889-01-24
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
tt Publlc-Spirlted Editor Makes Som
New Departures.

GONE AND DEE US.-We beg to an
nounce to the public that we have
established a grocery in connection
with the Kicker Office. We have run a
partition across our shanty and stocked
the front end with groceries, and here
after the two will be one and insepara-
ble While we blandly acknowlede.
that this is not q literary move calcu
lated to raise the public hair on end, wa
call your attention to the fact that We,
shall sell six dozen clothespins for fl
teen cents, and seven bars of soap for
quarter. A customer who wants New
Orleans molasses at wholesale or retail
will find us behind the counter smiling
and affable. The citizen who wants to
subscribe for the Kicker will find us in
the back room willing to pocket his 81.
For SALE.-The editor of this paper
has 800 worth of shares In the Spotted
Bull Silver Mining Company which he
will sell cheap for cash or trade for an
all-woOl undershirt These shares
were presented us with the understand
Ing that We should help rope in Eastern
suckers Either the rope is out of or
der or suckers are scarce. The stock
has gone down to two cents on the dol
lar, and we propose to unload before
another assessment Is made. We said
an all-wool undershirt, but we are not
going to be too particular about it. z:
it's half cotton, minus the buttons or
flaps, or is ripped up the back, we shall
probably make the exchange. Don't
hesitate because you may have been
told that we are proud and naughty.
We know when to come down off tho
top rail
A CONVICTED IIIAR.--The web-footed,
knock-kneed hyena who edits the. liter
airy cattle drive across the street
charges ua With trying to le.,I it over
this community because we have occa-
sionally appeared in a white shirt and
fifty-cent suspenderI Those who know
us best know how humble and lowly
we feel, even when having the only pa
per collar In the crowd which has not
been turned and sand-papered. We
shall occasionally put on q white shirt
not to humiliate our fellow-citizens
or boost ourselves aDoye the herd. but
In order to connect us temporarily with
outs de civilization. Now and then we
shall replace the horse-hidc strap
around our waist with the suspenders
spoken of, but It will not be in any
spirit Of self-aggrandizement, such as
might justly call for mob violence and
the destruction of our Office. As for
the old grave-robber opposite. we have
already located him for an Ohio sheriff.
who is expected along daily to take him
away. |..... g..
Do Nor FoRGET. We trust that none
Of our friends will forget the fact that
We still continue to board ourselves and
cook our meals on the Office stove.
Contributions Of vegetables, game,
bread. eggs and whatever Is eatable.
are always thankfully received and fol.
lowed by free puff for the contribu-
tors
A POLoGETICALIY.- the haste OF
getting 70 press last week we did
worthy citizen injustice In the item
about shooting ARRAY on Jackass Hill
We Ubapou buSb NlunaunOn ION was the
man who killed old Rutger, and that Il
would be great moral lesson 70 him
to draw him up to q limb and ire about
fifty bullets into his carcass. We now
take pleasure In announcing that G.
Tom was not the guilty party. He did
not even draw" on tho old man. At
the time the latter threw up his hands
and exclaimed: ':Boysi I'm downed.
Bee that my grave IL kept greenp Tom
Was further down the hill. chewing
away 1t Colonel Sockets left ear. and
having all he could do 10 hold t. The
censurable party 10 Wildercat Joe, who
left town that same evening for purer
atmosphere, while Cinnamon Tom IL an
innocent as = young gopher. We found
him behind the bar Of the Red Front
saloon yesterday. genial rs ever to all
Corners. but injured in his finer feelings
by our hasty conclusion. We make
this apology Of our own FREQ will. and
hope II will re-instate him in the esteem
Of our citizens. -D.Lron Free Press.