Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-21
HUSBANDS AND WIVES.

How Sentiment Becomes L~st-A slip-
 shod Angel In Faded Calico NOt a
 Subject for EnthusiRsm-Some Plain
 Home Truths Clearly CrYstalized.
 At the Church of the Messiah last evening
 Rev. L. H. Squires spoke on the Conduct
 of Husbands and Wives after Marriage"
 It is said of marriage "the twain become
 one." Man has generally cl aimed to be that
 one. But marriage is partnership rather
 than a union, with mutual and equal rights
 and duties; and there should be equal rights
 before the law.
 It should be their first duty to make each
 happy. Some men have but little home life.
 Their labor takes them away during the day,
 and their evenings are spent upon the streets or in public places
 Marriage degener ates into business con- venience. The home is sort of lodging house where they eat and sleep, and the wife acts as cook, wssher1omsn and servant. On the other hand, husband and wife may be too much together. Solitary confinement is the severest kind Of discipline; and close confinement may be socially injurious. It narrows sympathies and dwarfs human nature. Excessive familiarity will lead to satiety and indifference and perhaps con- tempt.
 Every member of a family should have
 some measure of privacy, room of their own, or at least one corner of room where no person will feel free to intrude upon them. Some women stay at home too much. There husbands see so much of them that there is none of the charm of novelty or freshness in their companionship. proper reserve is healthy stimulant to respect, and an occasional ab- sence the easiest way to quicken affection. Unfortunately we sometimes don't learn this until that absence comes which has no res turn. Husbands will then buy richer robes for the dead wife than they ever did for the living. They put flowers in the hair then, and touch the cheek tenderly with no re- sponse when for years they might have done it and had bright smiles in return. Many 8 poor woman will never get pleasure ride through our streets with her husband until she is carried to the cemetery. Rather than | thus neglect the living and honor the dead I it would be better to let the dead form go to the dogs or sleep in the potter's field, if only the spirit could wing it's upward way happy
 in the memory that life was filled with lov- ing ministries.
 Let the tired, overworked women take more vacations and have more pleasures Let them get away from home little taste of ab- sence to remind them how much they are f worth. If women would give themselves chance to get homesick occasionally they I would not be so likely to get sick of home. I Carelessness of dress and personal appear II ance is cause of indifference between hus- | bands and wives. Once they were fastidious f in tastes and dress. They tried to look beau \ tiful and appear agreeable. But now they \ are married. The hook doesn't need batting \ any more. The curls are gone and twisted \ topknet is good enough for husband. They \ are content to be plain and unattractive in \ dress and manners. Slovenliness will destroy \ the beauty of home and an end to lover's srdor quicker than almost any other fault. We can abide scolding woman if only she is neat about it. But an angel in faded calico, | and curl papers, and slip-shod, is not sub I ject for enthusiasm.
 \ With this is often the loss of culture and \ accomplishments. Young people are inter- \ esting for their ambition, enthusiasm and promise. But often after marriage they k lose all sentiment. Their music, painting \ and study fall into neglect. Aspirations \ fold their wings and trail in the dust. Minds \ become slovenly as we'll as bodies, and when they do the chief beauty of life is gone. Il Wives should have some knowledge of the husbands business and some share in the | family purse. Some wives have less money than their servant girls. Out upon the men who grip the pocketbook and oblige the wife ' to beg for pennies; and shame on him who will drink and smoke and squander his \ money at the clubs and then grunble if his \ wife wants caramels and chewing gum. What kind of children do they expect to ' have with 8 beggar and coward for a mothers N Keep the soul beautiful by noble conduct and the temper sweet by kind attentions, ! and you will be interesting all through life