, 1889-02-20
CHATTER XXXY.

CHAPTER NXXV.
The Americans of today arc 50 blase on
the matter Of advertisements that It is diff
cult 10 attract their attention without getting
up extravngant bats for their eyes.
The most effective bait is the illustrated
advertisement Here, for instance, Is the
''Capiline, - which makes the hair and whis-
kcrs grow as il by magic You have to be
So careful in handling the stuff that II q drop
should fall, say, on your nose, a tuft of hair
would almost Immediately grow thereon
On tho left Of the advertisement you see a
POOR fellow, bald, whiskerless, and wan. A
young lady Il turning her back on him with
n look Of disgust The illustration is entitled,
Before using Capilline-Refused." On the
right, you see n superb male beauty, adorned
with a luxuriant growth Of hair and beard.
The same young lady reposcs her head on his
shoulder. and raises her rapturous eyes to his.
Underneath are the words; after using
Capilinc-Accepted" But the most marvel
Gus part Of 1t is hat the use of the elixir has
changed the cut OF the mans coat. First he
was dressed in p lank, threadbare, shapeless
sack; after using the magic stuff, he has
blooned into the pink Of tailoring perfection
/ culled the following advertisement from
one Of the New York papers;
AS collector or salesman-Slim, sleek,
slender, sharp, shrewd, sensible, sarcastic
Yank, seeks a situation In some store ~tnotice
tho attractive whizzing Of the s'l, hotel or
Office, as collector or salesman; has highest
references, and push and check Of an army
mule, can sell goods or collect bills with any
man on tho continent Of North America
Bucks county, Pennsylvania, includedl."
The next specimen Is IN idyL It is entitled
Her Heart and a Cottage"
For hours she was lost In ecstasy, gazing
Into her lovers eyes. How beautiful you
arer she said, and how happy you lookl
Darling, say that it Is / who am tho cause OF
your happiness The handsome young man
tenderly kissed tho lips of his dear one. Yes
he said, lit is because you love me that l nm
so happy, but / owe my look Of respondent
health TO DR.. Smiths strip. M
On a hair drcsser's shop l read: "Tonsorihl
Pnlace-Professor Rogers has your hair cut
undor his own supervision. How is it cuti-
As you liko It shakespeare"
President Cleveland, wishing one day to SEQ
a certain circus performances, sent to retain a
box. The circus proprietor Immediately
hired, and sent about the streets of the town,
"a HHhh army VI hAnuNNlCn mon, carrying an
advertisement worded as follows:
"The president of the United States with his
young and beautiful wife will honor the cir
Gus with their presence this evening"
There'was such n demand for seats that
hundreds OF people were refused; but Mr.. and
Mrs Cleveland, having heard that their
MINES had served as an advertisement, did
not appear.
After the performance, n great part Of the
audience demanded the return of half their
entrance money ON the ground that the pro
Ernmmo had not been carried out in Its en-
tirety, since the president and his wife had
not made their appearance rs tho spectators
had been led to expect.
The circus manager was obliged to reim-
burse, says tho paper from which / extract
the account
Never lay aside nm American newspaper
without looking over the advertisements.
Ten 10 one you will DO rewarded for your
patience.
There arc travelling doctors In America
who go from town to town to heal the sick at
reduced prices.
Here is the advertisement of ono of these
gentlemen 1t is headed with his portrait,
@iIN"9 " Ne IaINH III az bOnlS he
operates upon;
d r. has already remained In M
longer than he first intended, but ut the re
quest Of numerous individuals and friends he
will extend his stay one week longer. Pa-
ticnts in other towns have been disappointed
by his long stay In NJ; but they nave his
assurance that this visit viii not be extended
beyond the time stated above"
This stereotyped advertisement has a flavor
n the drum and cymbals Of the mountebank.
Walk up, ladies and gentlemen, walk up and
show your tongues and have your pulses felt.
Further down, this same medical gentle
man falls into the style of the chimney sweep,
anEioust 10 enlarge his connection: He thanks
his many friends and patrons for the kind
ness and patronage bestowed upon him, and
trusts, by pursuance of the same honorable
business and professional methods and efforts,
TO fully merit a continuance of same"
In the smoking room of the Germanic one
day an American, who sat near me, said, nd
dressing mo:
81 believe you are going to America to
lecture, sirfn
YES / replied, ~ ann
who is booming your show, may askr'
he said in the most natural way in the world.
must have stared at him like q rustic,
being utterly at a loss to understand what he
meant
Upon getting this Amcricanism explained
had the satisfaction of finding that my inter
l~ocutor's question simply meant in English,
who is your impresarioTn
"Wen," thought 1, 81 am going to have a
lively time in the States, that's evident: this
isa f~oretaste that is promising" l went to
my cabin thinking about the Yankee who
was to boom my show"
The greatest boomer" In America is the
great, the only, the unique Barnum. The
personality Of this king of showmen is not
particularly interesting, except for being
typically American, and one that could not
exist in any country but America
Mr.. Phineas T. Barnum, pursued by fate,
is every five years the victim of a confagra-
ton. His fires happen with terrible regu-
larity. Whilst l was in America his tigers
and Claimants were burned out of house and