Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-11-22
PlTH AND POINT

PIIH AND PUNT,
PRESENTATION never rains bat it
pores.
VOTING into the unknown-Death
by electricity.
A SYNDICATE Of cattlemen has a per-
feet right to water It's stock.
IT'S odd how much food horse can
go without and still be no faster.
TIE waiter girl Is different from
poet. She is not born; she is maid to
order.
THE fiy-wheeI is the anarchist Of me-
chanics. Tt is always engaged in reyoe
lutiOns.
CHICAGO has u gigantic leather trust.
The increasing size of the WOmen's
shoes render 1t necessary.
WY don't they select sailors as base
Dau umpires? A tar ought to be q
good Judge how a thing Is pitched.
WHEN a married woman goes out to
look after her rights her husband is
usually left at home with his wrongs.
A WESTERN jeweIer, whose store was
attached by a Buffalo On. Y. : creditor
posted his notice on the door. CLOSED
to meet Buffalo Bill"
QUEEN of Spain-Good gracious
The baby king has the stomach-ache.
Lord Chamberlain (excitedly) - Call
the Secretary of the InteriOri
OMAHA TEACHER-I would like some
one of the class to define the meaning
of vice versa. Bright boy-ft's sleep
ing with your feet towards the head Of
/ the bed.
THEY sat within the parlor dim
And fretfulIy she laid to him;
Il wish, dear John, that you'd behave,
If not, wish thaty you would shave"
! Boston Courier.
LITTLE Ethel less than three years
! old, saw a man walking along the street
with his arm in a sling. "Oh mamma,"
! she cried, "there goes a man with his
arm in a hammock"
STRANGER-P like ter git a Job at
something, but Pm a stranger here an
amt got no references. Merchant-In
that case there Is no chance for you
| anywhere, except on the police force.
THIS is a world Of vicissitudes. To-
day a man is pressing his suit for
/ wife; tomorrow a tailor is pressing his
suit for his wedding, and the next day
a lawyer Is pressing his suit for dis
YOrce.
MAMMA, said the little daughter of
frequently stirred" merchant, you
know the story in our reader about the
king who never smiled again ?" yes
yes, dear. "WelI, does that mean that
he signed the pledge?"
RETURNED Traveller have often
thought of that young Mr.. Tease, and
| how he used to torment Miss Auburn
about her red hair. Did she ever get
even with him? Old friend-LOng
ago. She married him.
Nov, which of the great men in the
past would you rather be, Robert 2"
asked the teacher, after a long and in
teresting talk on the celebrities of his
tory. "None of 'em," replied Robert,
promptly. "None of them Why not 2"
"'Cause they're all dead"
A GIRL who has got tired of single
blessedness wrote to her intended as
follows: "Dear Jim; cum rite off If
YOU are cummin' at al. Ed Hilton is
insistin' that I shell hev him, and he
hugs and kisses me so much that L
can't hold out much longer"
GoRGIE's uncle-Now, George, you
know cannibals are people who live off
each other Georgia You're a canni-
bal, amt you, uncle?" "Why no,
George! Why do you ask?" Well,
papa said to me last night that you'd
been living on your reI2I1OnS Tor years.
4 FRAGMENT.
Dear Kate: By this mail I advance
| To you the remnant of my pants.
There's just the Waist-bGnd and one leg
Which you'll accept with love- beg
1t may be when you find the rest
They Il make your brother Tim a vest.
The shreds send are very slight,
Your pas dog got the rest last night.
s-OnlahG World.
} Hrs chances improving: do you
love me, dear?" asked Cholly softly.
J well, Cholly," said Molly, Ito tell
you the truth, I am not quite sure; but
I think perhaps I could love you
} enough to be your wife if you could
? only manage to getyOur salary raised. "
E BALD-HEADED and very homely old
D gentleman Ito photographed such
s pictures Can't you make me look any
7 better than that after five sittings
t Photographer thoroughly exasperated
Q 4 think I can, sir, if you viii allow
j me to take the back Of your head. II
j. hasn't so much expression as the Other
g side, but it's q blamed sight prettier
- ROLLING STOCK.