The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-07-06

nected with the Centennial, on which the
fate and the welfare Of the Republic de-
pended. Who was equal TO this gigantic
taskP who could tell us how the thing was
done in Paris, Vienna and Berlin? who
would keep us in the straight and narrow
path and keep us from putting our Re
publican foot in 1t before the nations Of
the earth. There was but ore man and
his name was Ward McAllister. He
knew all about percedences, who should 60
before and who should 90 behind, and
who shouldn't go at all He knew all
about wines and pates and troubles. In
short there was nothing that he didn't
know that was desirable TO know on such
an occasion, so it was evident that Ward
McAllister was the man. He was called
to his important post almost without
dissenting voice, in fact everybody, myself
included, felt delighted that the minister
plenipotentiary and ambassador extraordin-
ary of the elite four hundred should under
| take the somewhat plebeian job of guild
| inc such a miscellaneous affair as the
| Washington celebration, which would neces-
sarily bring him in contact whith very
his kind had not been In the habit of
associating. But like the patriot that he
is, Mr.. McAllister threw all these consider
ations to the winds and took took the office
of commander in chief, the stipulation be-
ing that the committee was to furnish the
necessary money, which they promised to
do, and giving him carte blanche, they
said, "Go ahead" and he did. Thousands
and thousands of dollars were expended,
and at last the committee called for an
accounting. The very idea almost set Mr..
McAlister in fit, and he snapped his
fingers in the faces Of the committee and
told them he would see them in Jericho
first. Then Mr.. Stuyvesant Fish, very
eminent person in his own estimation, and
who imagined that he could run the Cen
tennial better than McAlister, made a
motion that Mr.. McAllister, be bounced,
and bounced he was on the spot. Then
Mr.. Fish was promoted TO the vacant
place and began to handle the cash. In
one way and another he got away with a
hundred and twenty thousand dollars, and
now the committee want to know what he
did with it, but as yet Mr.. Fish has not
given them the slightest satisfaction, but
demands ten thousand dollars for the in
formation. Now, nobody .supposes that
Mr.. Fish bagged any of the money for bis
own private purposes, but the funny
points is that Mr.. Fish is now doing the
very same thing for which he got Mr.. Nc
Allister bounced. The ten thousand dol
lars that he asks for is the money the COM
mlttee got from the sale of ball tickets.
This Mr.. Fish demands 10 pay his bills,
and the committee say if he will furnish
the bills they will pay them, and so the
matter stands. Those who rebelled against
the rule of the king of the four hundred
are all broken up and Ward McAllister
lays back in his chair and roars as he Iubs
his hands, cha, ha, me boy; ha, ha, told
We So"
Several prominent churches were closed
for the season last Sunday, and in one
week more than two-thirds or three
fourths of the pastors will be gone from
New York and Brooklyn. Several church
es, however, have concluded to maintain a
summer services for the benefit of sinners
like myself who are tired to the stake and
cannot get awap. The plan is a good one,
1t gives young country minister a chance
for a metropolitan hearing, and as few
churches would think of offering the supply
minister less than twenty-five dollars and
his expenses, financially it is not bad
thing During the week we have had all
sorts of weather, thunder, lightning, rain,
hail, heat, cold, a rich variety from which
Bengal tiger or a Polar bear might take
his choice.
There have been several spasmodiC
rushes at the stock market all the week,
but the outside public did not bite, Henr y
Willard being about the only man who has
saved his financial bacon. Henry S. Iyes
and his partner Styner still linger in Lud-
low street Jail a warning to all young
Napoleons, and the autumn leaves will fall
before they either reach States Prison or
escape it.
Your own Correspondent.
BROADBRIM.