Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1889-01-11
Bowser's Honeymoon Behavior.


Bowser's Honeymoon Behavior.
The other evening Mr.. Bowser looked
pale and weary, and / felt it my duty
to ask if he was i'll, and to place my
hand on his forehead to see if he had
fever. He was reading and he quick
ly growled out:
Mrs. Bowser, what particular OBJ
ject have you in paving around after
this fashion? Do you expect another
dollar?'
Don't you want me TO caress you,
Mr.. Bowser?"
Il don't want you to act so silly.
We are too old for such nonsense"
And yet you once expressed the
hope that we might never let an hour
go by without caress.
II did. eh? | never expressed any
such thing
And you further said you could sit
and hold my hand whole lifetime
and not be weary
II never did-neverr
But can prove it"
'If you can I'll give you 500
/ / went up stairs and got my note
book. Up to the date of our marriage
| preserved and filed all his letters.
/ Or our bridal tour kept memoran-
! DUN book. Mother advised it, and
| have found it to be a powerful lever
on occasions when Mr.. Bowser has
been inclined TO 'act up" When |
! came down with the book he roared
out:
Got that old book out again, have
you? That's no evidence! | brand
/ the contents as a base forgery"
But they are facts for all that. Let
us see Here we start, After the GER
emony was over you said to mother:
Statement II will call you by the
sacred name of mother. You have
given me your only daughter | will
be a true and loving husband to her.
/ will guard her as do my life. | will
never, so help me heaven. speak one
unkind word to her
There it is, Mr. Bowser, and how
have you kept that promise?'
Never said anything of the sort
never | don't remember of your
mother being there You probably
wrote that down this very day"
I'VE were married at a. H., Mr..
Bowser. and at SIS we took the train
for Chicago You held my hand all
| the way to the depot
Mrs. Bowser, are you crazy? Do
you want to make out that was a
| born idiot?'
We'll, here is the proof:
Statement lI.-'As we got into the
hack Mr.. Bowser had tears in his
! eyes He took my hand and called
me his angel, and | had to wipe my
nose left handed all the way to the
| depot. | think the driver saw him,
for heard him chuckling and saying
something about you'd get over it in
about year.
There it is, Mr.. Bowser. in black
and white. This is the very paw you
! held for two miles,
Il deny it in toto, Mrs. Bowser, I've
/ got TO sit down and have a sharp talk
with you"
The other night" | continued,
you were about to put your arm
around me as we stood in the hall, but
on second thought you concluded not
! to-"
Il am 10 hand to spoon, Mrs Bow
ser-never was. Such things look sill
ly in old married people"
But you hugged me for 2s0 miles. "
/ "What?'
From Detroit TO Chicago, Mr.. Bow
ser, on that same bridal tour
You must be crazy
We'll, here's the proof:
Statement III.-'Left Detroit AT
$40. Mr.. Bowser put his arm around
me at once, and though the passen-
gers winked and guyed us for bridal
couple, he said he didn't care cop
per- Rugged me all the way TO Chi
cago Said he wished the ride would
last year. Said that Heaven had
sent me to him. ] write this in room
A, fremont House, while Mr.. Bowser
is down to look after the trunk"
'That-that's there. is it's gasped
Mr. Bowser.
''Of course it isr'
And had my arm around you all
day. giving myself dead away
You did"
Il will never believe it, never. ]
own up TO being d little soft In my
bachelor DAYS. but i was no hayseed
You are drifting to dangerous point,
Mrs. Bowser, and you should pause
ere it is too later'
Il like TO 60 over the old times once
in while and see how you have
changed"
Changed. Changed! That's it, If
husband isn't making a fool of him
self all the time his wife argues that
he Is growing cool and dissatisfied.
How have ! chalged?r
''You never call me your birdie any
lnore.r
oh don't. suppose you've got
| Droof that | used TO call Won birdie