The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-05-09
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

WISE AND OTHERWISE.
Pears Soap secures fine complexion.
Beecham's Pills act like magic on a
weak stomach.
Girls who use powder don't go off any
quicker than those who don't. Boston
Courier.
He's not your frock rather decol-
lete ?" She-"Oh, no you forget that
it is charity ball so ought to con-
tribute my share of arms"
"How is that butter l sent you ?" asked
a Warwick grocer OF transient custo-
mer. Better, thanks-gains strength
every day"
1t makes a difference whether it is
man who owes you money or pretty
girl with a million or 90 in her own right
who says to you sweetly, Call again. ~
Journal Of Education.
Boarder-'I never eat anything but
white meat" Landlady-"Glad to hear
it, sir, for l never buy anything but
double breasted and legless turkeys and
chickens for my table,
Mamma Ito her little 5oy), Now, Ben
ME, if you'll be good and 90 to sleep,
mamma II give you one of DIR. Ayers
nice sugar coated Cathartic Pills, next
time you need medicine" Bonnie, smil-
ing sweetly, dropped off to sleep at once.
Talk about cheap postal rates. I've
seen 1876 pounds 90 for two centstamp,"
remarked Mr.. Recipient. when wac
that ?" said Mrs. K, laying down her
paper. "This morning, my dear, when
you went to the corner drug store for
stamp"
What suffered for years with tho e
terrible racking sick headaches. Life
was only a torment to me /; if you are
80 troubled, would advise you to u'e
Sulphur Bitters, for they cured me -
CLARA BELLE.
We have a speedy and positive cure
for Catarrh, Diphtheria, Canker Mouth
and Headache. in SHILOH'S CATARRH
REMEDY. A nasal injector free with
each bottle. Use it if you desire health
and sweet breath. Price SO cents Sold
by ]. T. Shurtleff.
Postoffice clerk Ito fiance)-"I received
very curious letter at the postoffice this
morning. 1t was addressed To the pref
tiest glrl in New York =" Fiance (eager-
ly)-"Oh, give it to me it must be for
me = Clerk-"I showed it to my grand
mother, and-she opened IT.
"But you know" said Miss Singleton,
with a simper, "thht Pm not so young
as used to be-" "Oh. MISS Singleton T.
exclaimed Numhead, effusiyely, you do
yourself injustice. knew you Ten years
ago, you know. and you didn't look a
particle younger than you do today
Lady Thyra, reading catalogue-"Two
dogs, after Landseer." Lady Myra-
But where is Landseer don't see
him." Lady Thyra-"Why, surely, you
don't suppose he would stsy there with
those two ferocious looking brules a'ttr
him. l know l shouldn't if / were in
his place."
What wonderful painter Rubens
was 2" remarked Merritt at the art gal
lery. eyes," assented Cora. 1T is said
of him that he could change laughing
face into sad one by a single stroke"
"Why," spoke up little Johnnie, in di'.
gust, my school teacher can do that"
Exchange.
The late DR.. Dio Lewis, in speaking 4
Warmers Safe Cure, said, over his oW n
signature IF found myself the vic
tim of serious kidney trouble. would
use Warmers Safe Cure" He also said
1.-THE medical profession stands dazed
and helpless in the presence of more tLan
one kidney malady."
Blinks' COachmar (colored) ~ fought
you sayed yoah folks was 30 dog gone
rich" links Coachman (Ccl'ic)-"So
they are, ye black divil." B inks Coach
man-"Huh guess not. ] looked in
de winder las night an seen two OBJ de
young ladies playin' on de same piaDny.
Guess you all has to economic"
Magistrate to Mrs. Con Kelly-"YCu
claim, Mrs. Kelly, that Mrs O'Toole gave
you that bruised and blackened face p
Mrs. Con Kelly-"She did, your honor,
or I'm not Irish born," Magistrate -
"And what you want is damages| Mis-.
KeIly-"Naw, sir want satisfaction
| have damages enough. "-Hdrper Bd
gar.
ShiIoh's Catarrh Remedy,
Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy, marvel
GUS cure for catarrh, diphtheria, canker
mouth, and headache. With each bot
tie there is an ingenious nasal injector
for the more successful treatment of
these complaints without extra charge,
Price 50 cents Sold by j. T. Shurtleff,
Bennington.
Miss Bacon they have been discussing
orchids)-"And now, Professor, | want
you tell me all about the plant from
which electricity is made" Professt r
Hohonthy (aghasl THE which, Miss
Bacon-"You cert linly must have h, ard
of it. Father says its high cost prevents
the general use of electric lighting-l
mean the electric plant. -Hdrper'S Bd-
zdr.
Brown-"Congratulations, old man
Saw by the paper this morning that your
safe had been broken into, but as it con
tanned only twenty-seven cents the bur-
glars had their work for nothing, Ell p
White-"Lucky? Why, hang it, man,
I'm mortified half to death What sort
Of an advertisement do you suppose that
report is going to he for my business p
Huntington Free Press.
Editor Ito gentleman just arrived)-
1--WE don't want any poetry" Gentle
man-"No?" Editor-''Nor prose- Gen
tleman-"No ~ EdItor-"Nor blank
verse;" Gentleman-''How would 81
bill suit you for years subscription in
advance ?" Editor" Why, my dear sir,
why didn't you say 80 at first. Ito office
boy): James, give this gentleman a
couple of chairs and the floor to spit on. !"
One Hundred Ladies' Wanted,
And 100 men to call on any druggist for
a free trial package of Lanes Family
Medicine, the great root and herb rem
edy, discovered by Or. Silas Lane while
In the Rocky Mountains. For diseases
of the blood, liver and kidneys it il a
positive cure. For constipation and
clearing up the complexion it does won
ders, Children like it, Every one prais-
1s it. Large q ackage, so cents. Al
all druggists
have had catarrh for twenty years,
and used all kinds of remedies without
relief. Mr.. Smith, druggist, of Little
Falls, recommended Ely's Cream Balm.
The effect of the first application was
magical, it allayed the Inflammation,
and the next morning my head was as
clear as bell. One bottle has done me
so much good that | am convinced its
use will effect permanent cure. 1t is
oJthing, pleasant ann easy to apply,
and strongly urge its use by all suffer-
ers.-Geo, Terry, Little Fails, N. Y.