The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1889-09-03
BURDETTE ON SLEEP
A Treatise on the Popular Varieties q
SIumber.

SIumber.
The siesta is the short sleep after
dinner. and fifteen minutes worth Of
it is one of the best daily Investments
of time a busy man or woman can
make. When you haven't time to
take siesta it Is about time you went
of and died somewhere. Slumber is
the light sleep, varied by startling
facial contortions and sudden spas
modic motions of the limbs, accompa-
MED by compulsory silence all over
the house, which is the rest of the in
fants. Insomnia is sleeping wide
awake in a state of irritable imbe-
cility. 1t is the common lot of
actresses and literary people who are
in need of rest or advertising. A
map" is the passing rest of a school
teacher who is just far enough "gone"
to appear deceitful, and wide enough
awake to catch the smart boy who
thinks that all things are what they
seem. A "doze" is the hideous sleep
OF man who goes to sleep with his
eyes wide open while you are talking
TO him. fixing upon you CLASSY stare
that curdles your blood and makes
You forget what you were trying to
say. Then he WAKES up and says,
idiotically: Yes. yes; inst so: served
him quite right; and then?" To ''iust
drop off for second" Is the term APP
piled by the offender TO the act of go
ing sound asleep in church with ones
head hanging over the back of the
pew, the mouth wide open and the
operator snoring like house aiire I'M
til the deacon hits him on the head
with a collection basket, or the choir
rises to sing the last hymn. Nod
ding" in church is sleeping clear
through the entire sermon. but with
out snoring, and with head bowed on
the back of the pew in front,
as though in prayer. Nobody
in the whole church, by the
way, thinks it remotely resembles
the attitude of prayer except the
person who is 'nodding." To jam
yourself up against your fathers
back. kick him black and blue from
withers To hook, crowd him out of bed
twice or thrice during the night and to
lie habitually across the middle of the
bed, is the ''sOund sleep" of bOyhood.
To make terrific noises with the nose
ali night long. while lying like log in
one position. is the sweet sleep" of
the laboring man, who never gives his
nose a holiday. To punctuate ones
slumber by sudden blood curdling
yells in the middle of the night. is
called sleeping" by people who quaff
a flagon of the New England national
drink called pie for a night cap just
before going to sleep. To lose sound
of the voice of the person addressing
you, to have the room pass in misty
blur before your eyes. and to sink into
utter Oblivion for about ten minutes, is
called ''yawning" by very polite peo-
pie. To fall of the chair and rouse
yourself by knocking your head against
a corner of andirOns is what some peo-
pie cG lust closing the eyes" ITO
feel a little drowsy" is the term APP
piled to his condition by the man who
sleeps seven stations past the place
where he wants to get off. Ifhe doesn't
wake till some time the next day,
he admits that ne was sleepy" To
fold the hands upon the breast. nestle
the head in the folds of snowy pill
low. straighten the shapely limbs and
arrange the figure gracefully, with
lightly closed eyes to pass the night
in a mist of pleasant dreams and en-
trancing visions, with an accompani-
ment of soft. regular breathing. scarce
audible to people on the next block, is
TO sleep like Christian, as l do
Burdette. in Brooklyn Eagle.