The Lamar register., 1889-08-31
Mary Jane Had Him SOLID

o' 0ah ieau Writiu presume
he queried, after we talked for
while on the weather, crops and 9TH
er matters.
81 hope so," l replied.
"Wall, then. mebbe you'd like to
read this. No particular interest to
you, but it cost me six hundred dol
/ lars-that little scrap O. paper"
at seems to be a receipt in tull of
all damages and account from Mary
J. Lapham, of Blankyille. County of
Niagara, and state of New York"
That's what she is. stranger Got
1t this forenoon after three months
hard work, and I'll be lam-slathered
If l'n ever caught In that boat again"
business transaction?"
"No-love. Paid her six hundred
dollars in cold cash to settle breach
OF promise suit. l find ten ton
sand hill had been taken off my
shoulders
"Then as | understand it, you and
Mary were in love-engaged-and
You broke your promise"
"Perzactly. Couldn't have hit 1t
straighter. The trouble was that
couldn't remember that l ever asked
her to marry me. / kinder loved to
pass away the time. just felt spoon
ey, and so / spooned. Struck girl
after awhile wanted to marry, and
Mary Jane bobbed up with breach
Of promise-s2o.Oo0. Told her to
whistle. Didn't believe she could
prove anything. Couldn't remember
writin' her more than three letters.
She whisiled. Mary did. She also
employed lawyer to whistle. He
came down and sho wed me tifty-two
of my lrtters, everyone spoutin' love
as whale spouts water"
That was queer"
al should smile! Hadn't the
slightest recollection of them epistles
but they were nine, Just the same,
and more'n that. I'd signed the bulk
of 'em, Yours forever and ever, with
ten thousand kisses"
"Then you bad no defense"
Mot shadjer. | was ready to
swear Pd never hiuted at marriage,
but the lawyer had marked twenty
six different paragraphs readih': My
angel one. Heaven designed YOU To
be my wife. Set the day as soon as
possible Mary Jane had me agrin.
Then she had made affidavit of my
hugging ard squeezing and calling
her pet names, and it was no use for
me to stand out. Mortgaged my
land aud slipped down and cried,
and got settlement"
"And 1t is great moral lesson to
you"
you chuckle, It's pause in my
mad career as lovist. It's set
back to my loose ways of dong bus
mess. No gal on the face of this
green earth will ever git that sort of
bulge on me again"
"But you have another love affair
on hand"
Just So, but what have | done?
Taken copy of every letter written,
and done all eur talking in front of
the old man. More'n that. I've
obliged the gal to give Inc certiti-
cate every Saturday night that /
haven't popped the question up to
date. Kissed her once. but had two
witnesses hid in the shed TO see that
1t was calm brotherly kiss, aud the
only time l ever sqnoze her hand |
put the date right down. ., no,
they don't Mary Jane me again-not
for Joseph and all his relations. ."-EX.
A brakeman from Lordsburg
brings the news that there was great
excitement there last week over a
horse race. 1t was run for 500 head
OF cattle. The flvorite horse got
badly beaten. and Lordsbuig sports
were left nearly penniless and have
been kicking themselves ever since.
Tucson Arizona Citizen.
At present there are six candidates
for county iudre on the no-name