Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-05-12
HE MEYER LAUGHED.

HE NEVER LAUGHED.
The blase young man never laughed
heartily, even as a child. Nature dfsap-
pointed him. The little lambkins were nm
tidy and the grass took the polish OFF his
shoes. He criticized nearly all forms Of
vegetation. Throwing dressing gown
hastily over his shoulders, while whiting for
his clothes to be aired and put on him, he
looked at the doctor on the first evening of
his appearance with q keen, searching
glance, as much as to say, "You have
ushered me into the world which can al
ready see is being frightfully mismanaged." !"
He has no enthusiasm. He does not love
anyone, because he fears that he might give
way to wild impulse and crush the crystal
OF his watch by means of the sunny head Of
his SOULS idol. He knows bad things about
everybody, but heightens the effect by striv-
ing, oh. so hard, to keep them quiet. He
has tasted every joy in the whole world ex-
cept the glad thrill of jumping off the East
river bridge, and he could get general per-
NIT for that if he would only do it.
When he was 16 he proposed to woman
SO years of age, but could not do so without
first telling her that he had tasted of every
sweet in life and that he had been oh, so
tough and so naughty, and that he was
really great big horrid rake in disguise.
"But you are innocent" he said; 'you are
pure as freshly laundried snowflake. You
are Just bursting into womanhood and
cannot, alas, I cannot fool thee. or beguile
thee as others might seek to do. am q
very wicked man. My soul is steeped in
vice, but still am noble. With all my ac-
cursed life of lust to look back upon, can
truly say that 1 have never forgotten to be q
gentleman. I am great big, generous
hearted but ennuied citizen. 1 have saw
everything, from the Fourth of July to the
Tooleries in France, Europe. I have saw
everything in New York, and Fargo,
Dakota. I have been abroad two weeks
and tasted every delight of foreign courts,
having paid fines in most all of them. And
now after all this. can you not love me all
the better for it? Do you not crave blase
young man with scars on his character, but
vet noble and smart.
SHE IS STILL THINKING.
She said she would think it over, and If
she decided to love him she would send .
requisition for him.
And so he is still waiting for her to come
and claim him, but rather hoping that she
will not.
Then there is also the blase young woman
beside. She has seen everything. She al
lows yOu W LC1l ucI dOOub bOLucbuluR. duu
then she says she has seen it several times.
She has the chastened air of one who has
lost several husbands, but is willing to 90
through it again whenever heaven sees fit to
designate another one. She has far-away
look like one who sees swift-feoted Welsh
rabbit SC ooting across the horizon.
When she was little girl she used to
play little, but not uproariously. She did
it according to plans and specifications fur
nished by the old books representing chill
dren in the act Of romping and endeavoring
to be gay. She had large amount of
wisdom at the time when she was born. She
could forget enough in few moments to
start normal school. She was like the
blase young man and the bnmble bee, big
gestwhen she vas born.
We should be sorry for the blase people
wherever we meet them. They do not have
any fun. They are afraid to laugh at any
thing for fear that other people will think
they never heare it before, They lead sad
life. When they get to heaven and their
neighbors look for them to be surprised, the
blase people >of New York and Brooklyn
will say as they look around at the sapphire
lampposts and the 18-carat curbstones, Eyes,
Mr.. Talmage was telling me about, those
things eight or nine years ago."
INTERVIEWING M'ALLIsTER.
"And have you always been thus?" I
asked of Mr.. Ward McAllister the other
day, as seated myself on his escritoire and
collected o carnation from the beautiful
little bouquet by his side.
What do you mean BY that?" he asked.
twisting his imperial and working
out the wax, which he then wiped on pansy
penwiper from time to time.
Il mean to say, Mac,' replied, that 1
would like to know whether this thing came
on you when you was child, or when you
began to notice whiskers bursting forth from
their lair?''
to?" he again asked, coldly, taking q crest
from his hip pocket and rubbing it with q
nail brush.
IT referto this scheme of limiting the class