Omaha daily bee., 1889-05-27
THE COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER.
Steps Taken to Organize Club at
the Meeting Yesterday.
A CHICAGO DRUMMER ABROAD.
Sim Attends an Odd Hop--Advice
For "Fritzie''-Samplcs From
the Grips-Movements of
the Tourists.
Fun Awny From Home.

the commercial missionary who halls from
Chicago, says the Herald. He towers aloft
like Saul, above his competitors. Everybody
knows him. his DIR essy suit massive watch
chain and appurtenances, his genial smile,
his self-assertive personality, his push and
business tact. He is the evolved product of
western life, tireless alike in work and play,
fit representative Of the metropolis of the
west. But not everybody knows how he,
collectively and individually, manages to ex-
tract the sweets from life and TO crowd a
tremendous amount OF fun into his exist
ence.
In this laudable endeavor, the drummer
meets with the hearty corporation of III
vision Of the human race but for whom life
would not be worth living. There is preva-
lent idea that the drummer goes about like
roaring lion seeking whom he may de-
your. He is supposed to be a masher
and to give his entire time to prey
ing upon the hearts of susceptible females.
1t is a great mistake. The drummer is not a
masher, but a mashee. So far from spend
ing his life in destroying the happiness OF
the young and unsophisticated among what
he is pleased TO call his clientage, the drum
mer is himself victim. His lacerated heart
is SCARED by the bright glances shot at him
by thousands of beautiful eyes, and were it
not for his wonderful recuperative energy
he would be wreck. The fact is that the
knight Of old, to wear u lady's favor in his
cap and to devote himself to the service of
his dulcinea.
Take, for instance, the case Of Smith, the
representative of leading dry goods house,
with a salary of 50, 900 year and an easy
gong cashier to overlook his expense ac-
count. Thirty years old, well-dressed from
hat to boots good looking in manly way,
nd ffil Of md To la Urn hc
his grip ten minutes before train time and in
few hours Is a couple of hundred miles
away from home See him as he lands at
the far-off town; see also what fate has
thrown in his way. Is it his fault that The
belle of Corntown looks over her shoulder ut
the gorgeous vsion' Smith would be ex-
tremey ungallant If he did not raise his hat
to such a trim-built figure. The lady looks
again; she smiles. Smiths susceptible heart
is ahame. He speaks, the lady replies-the
mischief has begun
Suppose then the acquaintance made.
Love laughs at locksmiths, and Smiths time
is short Somehow or other he manages to
get permission to call. Armed with the
biggest bouquet he can procure he lays his
offering at the feet of his temporary divinity.
He can not help it. If the girl-but what is
the use of trying to divide the responsibility
in such cases. The fatal curiosity which
since the first garden party has characterized
all of Ewes daughters still burns in their
hearts. Smith has forgotten all about the
his name and spends ris salary for him.
Occasionally our friend makes mistake,
but that is invariably caused by his too
earnest desire to please. Like the sailor,
with lass in every port Smith sometimes
falls into the error of making his attentions
too general There have been cases where
this philanthropisJ has mixed his dates, so to
speak, and where two ladies come down to
see him off. 1t Is very awkward when, after
u lengthy parting from Miss - at her
fathers garden gate, he strolls down to the
depot to exchange an undying farewell with
his other best girl, and the first inamorata
follows in the hope of 'seeing him out of
sight," as the girl did in Tom Hoods poem
Such catastrophes as are depicted here are
not entirely outside Of the experience of our
travelling friend. Over the consequent scene
of hair pulling, the unkindly recrminations
of the ladies and their joint and vehement
denunciations of the base deceiver let us
draw the mantle of charity.
Rather let us think of Smith in the bosom
OF his family, all his trials over except that
of squaring his expense account With his
youngest hopeful in his arms, and Tommy
(aged nine) performing solo on TIN
trumpet for his special benefit you may
fancy him explaining to the partner of his
Joys aud sorrows, what q dreary miserable
trip he had. Poor hotels long waits at side
stations not soul to speak to except mer-
chants who would not buy; such is the bur-
den of his complaint No, he did not have a
good time; he is going to quit this con-
founded road business. The firm must give
him Office work SO he can be at home even
ings with his family. "Nothing,"' says
Smith, ''is so destructive of the domestic
ties as these compulsory absences from ones
wife and family, and am glad to get once
more back to my own roof and 10 see YOU all
again. And of course his wife believes
him.
Sim Attends an Odd Hop.
In previes5 communication stated that
Ihad had my share of adventure. Perhaps.
the oldest thing that occurred to me while
On the road, was the following: My house
had taken a considerable contract in furnish
ing supplies for au asylum for the insane 1t
was my duty to superintend the delivery of
the goods, so that often met the superln-
tendent OF the ylum, very clever, humane
cid gentleman.
On one of these occasions he asked me
whether would like to remain to a hop, to
be given the inmates that evening, assuring
me that it would be very enjoyable affair,
a. all violent and totally idiotic patients
would be excluded. / accepted the invita-
ton.
The ball was. really delightful The pa
tients entered into it with a zest. With the
exception Of an occasional slight bewilder-
nient, IA discordant laugh, or some irrelevant
remark or sound. everything went on as at
any similar hop given by sane people.
Al one time during Inc evening, L entereu
into conversation with very charming,
sweet-lookinS young lady, who sat near me.
To my surprise found her conversation
refined, connected and exceedingly interest
ing Her easy grace of manner. her
youthful beauty, and her evident advantages
OF education, made q very strong impression
upon me, and my heart went out In pity that
one SO well endowed should be among these
unfortunates. l conversed with her for
some time. and was unable to discover what
her particular maniu Was.
Full OF sympathy, 1 left her, and. going TO
the superintendent, said, with trembling
voice; what dreadful afiiiction! What a
horrible visitation of Providencei My heart
bleeds for that beautiful young woman in
pink. II seems Incredible that any cloud
should rest upon her mind"
"Cloud! fddlesticks" cried the superin-
tendent. ''She is a guest. like yourself. Let
me introduce you. MIR. Sim, my daughter,
Sallie.
Stick to Your Mother.
OMAHA, May 25.-To the Editor Of THH
Bee: II all reports are truce, the meanest
man on earth resides at O.. Neb. We will
not mention names, but the boys who make
that town will probably tumble without re-