The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1889-06-01
TOpSY.

ready 10 declare ME to De cynical old bach
elor; and if you are woman, more espe-
cially young woman, and an unmarried
one at that, you have already made up your
mind to detest me for the brutal remark
with which l have introduced myself, and
are forthwith ready to declare you will not
read anything that such u heartles wretch
would write. But leg of you to withhold
your Indignation till qualify my remark by
further declaring that the antipathy which
exists i'll my breast for these necessary mem.
bers Of society is for babies per Sc. and does
not at all apply to those useful but noisy
young persons into which they subsequently
develop
We have had several babies come to our
home at various times with somewhat alarm,
ing frequency, and have been martyr to
their despotic sway many cold and stormy
night, the which were to relate an army nf
heroic brothers would at once rise up and ex-
tend the sympathetic hand, with the cheerful
and consoling invitation to put it there"
But this was not the cause of my peculiar
dislike for babies. always submitted cheer.
fully to their demands with becoming grace,
being melted thereto by sense of paternal
interest in my offspring and the constant ad-
monitions of my respected wife
1t was a baby that nearly wrecked my hap.
piness for life, a baby that fell like bomb,
as it were, into our peaceful home, spreading
fear and CONSERVATION among its unsuspect-
ing members and nearly destroying forever
our happy little household. and it was not our
baby, either
1t was before the advent in our family of
any of those little responsibilities, which lat
terly have not been as dilatory in their arri-
| il.a lint bn
CURED am about to relate
Louisa and had been married about two
years and were living contentedly in nice
little house in quiet and refined neighbor-
hood. | had an office down town where
conducted real estate agency, giving par
ticular attention to letting houses for my pa
irons, who for the most part lived out of
town and paid mo to look after their proper
ty, from which | derived comfortable in.
come
One afternoon l entered my office, after
having been to inspect some houses for which
was endcavoring to obtain desirable ten
ants, and discovered lying on my desk little
note hastily written with pencil across u
tablet where could scarcely fail to see it, 1t
read thus:
DEAR GEoRGE-I have come to town to shop to
day Louisa and have gone to matinee Please
take caro- of Topsy Afectionately,
ARABELLA
Arabelln was my wife's sister, who, being
young widow, lived out of town with her
mother. She rarely visited us, and when
she did it was only for n few hours ut time
as sho did not like to leave her mother, who
was in feeble health, for any length of time
who in thunder is Topsyl" l mentally
calculated, turning around to see if could
find anything to which that appellation might
properly be applied. did not have long to
look. AS my eyes glanced toward the lounge
OH which was wont to lay my weary frame
after exhaustive arguments with unreasona-
bic tenants, saw red faced, pudgy looking
baby which had been carefully deposited in
the comfortable nook made by the back and
one end of thccushoned lounge. Affecting of
distrust at once seized me, but felt greatly
relieved when discovered that the little in
truder was asleep.
81 hope they'll get back before it wakes"
said, as turned to my desk and buried my
self in my work The clock struck 5, re-
minding me that it was my usual time of
closing. put away my books with sigh
Of relief, and prepared to leave the office
when suddenly | remembered the baby 1t
was still asleep. but was annoyed that Lou
isa and Arabella did not make their appear
ance. The matinee was certainly over, and
they would be back directly sat down and
waited Picking up a newspaper | read
awhile till became aware that it was grow.
ing darker jumped up. it was nearly 6
and Louisa and Arabella not come yet. |
wondered if they intended me to carry tho
baby home myself! Horrible thoughtl
would wait little while longer
The minutes seemed like hours as | still
thought of my having to carry that frightful
burden home with me The thought had an
awful fascination about it, which | vainly
strove against What would my acquaint.
anccs think to sec me Juggling about such an
uncouth burden!
could not help it. Like one who is
strangely impeicd to cast himself headlong
from some lofty prccipice over whose brink
he gazes. was irresistibly moved to seize
that innocent looking child and rush forth
into the street, never pausng till could drop
it safely in tho confines of my own home
did not know which end to take it by. but |
took it, fortunately, by the proper one for it
did not awake, closed the door and went out
lslipped around a corner into a side street
and made my way homeward making many
strange turning, for | sought the most un-
frequented thoroughfares hoping not to meet
any one who might chance to recognize me-
In this was fortunate. and was nearing
my own home with feelings of thankfulness,
when, as turned the last corner into my
own street, heard little scream, and al.
most ran into two ladies who were crossing
the street, just as came up. stopped at
once and looked up, much relieved when
recognized my wife and her sister
. T
frightened usl What on earth have you
gots" she asked with open eyed wonder, dis
covering the baby
1t made me angry to see their astonish-
ment, which thought was assumed.
sit looks like baby" | said, in tones
meant to be severe.
"Why, it is baby, Bella, look." she said,
unmndful of my sarcasm. Whose ever is
it, and where on earth did you get itl' she
went on, looking at it with much curiosity.
Arabela looked at the baby with evident in
terest, though saw from her manner that
she did not recognize it as hers.
Were they trying to play off joke on me?
They did not seem so. I was nonplused at
their manner.
why. it's Bella's baby" said, somewhat
nettled
"Bella'sl Why, George. How could yous'
exclaimed my wife, reproachfully.
"But it is" persisted. What do you
meant | wish you'd take it. This has gone
far enough"
81 should think so, said Arabella, in dis
dainful VOICE saw her turn red, then white,
as she looked at me coldly. There was de-
tided sneer on her face as she stepped back
and looked at Louisa
'If it isn't yours then whose is itf' spoae,
angrly
She simply lifted her head, turning it aside.
the sneer more decided
But, George dear. Bella has no baby!"
said Louisa with surprise.
Arabella would not look at me. but OBJ
served my wife with look of pity.
Come. Louisa" she said, this is an insult!
not only to me, but to you! never could
have thought it of him He can tell whose
it is if he will" in deep, significant tone.
Being caught with it in his arms, and stand
here trying to brazen 1t out! never saw
such shameless brutality in my lifel"
What do you mean, Bellaf cried my wife,
very much excited by Arabella,s manner.