Telegram-herald., 1889-04-21

\ VISIT FROM pr. n II Alb tl.atfN
spring a young man : fancy lightly turnsto
thoughts of chcckered but unsunstantial
pantaloons. lie gets some OF the creases
pressed ont OF them aud others pressed in.
and then lie salles forth 10 make hay
fever while the sun shines. lie generally
succeeds did pretty well IN that line
myself
On The afternoon Of March % pat on
pair 81 pAntaioons whose beauty was only
skin deep. and an overcoat OF "a pale mu-
lRttO color, somewhere between tne Iwen-
ty-scyenth street aud Twenty ninth street
shades. These beautiful and hilarious
garments were appropriate 10 the gentle
spring, which WAS on deck at that time OF
the day. Ia the glOaip ing went over TO
Brooklyn. / am aware that this act de-
stroys my title 20 popular sympathy, but
can't pervert facts. / went 10 call on my
girl. We passed very pleasant evening,
and we did not let any Of ii get away. IL
was later than usual when her father
pulled the string which he has riCged to
connect with the hall clock. The old man
is 4 gifted inventor and he has Taught the
old hut intelligent time piece to strike
l77H when he SAYS the word. | am a
nervous man and easily put out by super
natural phenomena. and when the clock
begins TO sct that way | escape That's
what the old man keeps the educated clock
for
On this particular occasion / emeresd
not INTO the balmy spring which ! had left
but into a sixty knot blizzard, dead ahead,
and getting worse every minute / got
lost. One frequently does in Brooklyn.
The only wonder is that anybody Is ever
I hfr trh hirh
were going the wrong way. and passed
under an elevated railroad track over
which no trains are runs but there were no
other means OF transportation, so | walked.
1t was two miles TO the bridge. and when
got there was not only dead but my
body was packed in ice enough 10 keep it
over the Fourth Of July. IL was two inches
thick on the outside of my overcoat, and
! about twice as thick inside of Il where the
/ sleet had sifted down upon my shirt bosom.
| would like to add in parenthesis that
/ the above is the cold. bald headed truth
without prevaricatiOn, equiyocatiOn or
/ mental reservation.
! When I got home l had pneumonia
/ three times in the first twenty-five min
utes: after which drank a bottle Of am
monia 10 clear my throat, bound blanket
about my throbbing temples and lay down
to saeeze.
The next day took such remedies rs my
landlaGy could think Of. at intervals OF
five minutes, and | occupied my entire
time IN this way. without taking any one
thing twice. On the following day
called in physician. He said that If
/ survived nay lanilady l should pul
through the pneumonia all right. Ther
he put a plaster between my shoulders
and left with the cheerful assurance thai
it would pull my lungs around where
could use them again; and the request thai
when l was able 10 draw my breath
should send him word.
was speechless AT the time so thanked
him only by movement Of my elbow
indicating that we would have drink TO
gether when the trouble was over Their
be went ONT, and was left alone with tn,
plaster. In about quarter OF an hour il
began to pull. After few more painful
minutes it had disposed -of my cuticl,
which, in my present atteuuated condition
l. all that stands between me and tyveufl
dollars a we.-S in the skeleton department
of dime museum. Then it detached m,
twelfth vertebFa from its position. an,
gradually absorbed it. 4 large bliste
then formed on my spinal marrow. and r
that moment my breath came back 20 m
and said: Murder"
Ny landlady opened the door, an,
wanted to know IL spoke / replied
THANK heaven, do; at last"
/ then explained As iuciGly "a | conl'
what WAS the secret Of my sorrow. Sh
suggested that ! soak my feet in warn
mustard water. suggested that She soal