Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1889-11-28
jim TOWNSEND IN CARSON.
He Has Pocket Full of Rceks, and
Paints the City.
carson Appeal

carson Appeal
Yesterday morning the editor of the
Appeal was passing Thompson's restaurant,
when suddenly he was aware OF strong
hand grasping his coat collar, and mo-
ment later he was whisked into the res
taurant by an irresistible force.
"Hullo, you old - bless my regener-
ate soul; how are you?"
1t was at once apparent to the editorial
mind that the writer had fallen into the
clutches of Jim Townsend, editor of the
Homer Mining Inder, otherwise known as
the Mono County Snowslide." 1t was the
same old Jim that left Carson three years
ago and he had not changed hair. His
old familiar salutation, with him a term OF
endearment, came out with ths old fog horn
accents.
"Sit down." he shouted, and help me
paralyze the clans. Don't care if you have
had breakfast; sit down, l say" and
he downed the writer with powerful
jerk.
81 say, waiter, bring on two dozen on the
half shell, two dozen of those clans; call
em oysters, do ye? So long since l saw any
I've forgotten the name. You can't tell
what they are after get my molar stamps
droppin' on 'em. Hy, there, l say, some
tenderloin stake, two virgin pullets On
toast and quart bottle of r0de-riO."
The waiter began to move around, but
not quite rapid enough for James, and he
called him back.
"'There, my boy, you must skip with
considerable alacrity. Pve got a Mill
Creek appetite, and here's Mill Creek bull
lion to pay for it."
Here he took out large sack and began
to thump the table with it.
az don't hit civilization often. Why,
old boy, last Friday night had to 60 to
bed on snow-shoes.
"'Thats right; chuck those CLANS -oys-
ters, mean, down lively, and I'll shout for
more. l say, waiie ier, two dozen more Oys-
ters, and set the kid to opening more. Re-
member you're feeding three years of star
vation on Mill Creek.
"Hot out there in the summer, do you
say Well, rather; last Fourth of July l
had to keep ice in my mouth all day to
keep my teeth from sweating.
Say, waiter, put another bottle on ice,
and see that when you paste the label on
that it's the right one.
Hey, there, come back; if that was
Charley Thompson that just passed, 60 out
and snake him in. Haven't eaten with
Charley for years"
The waiter rushed out and soon returned
with Thompson.
"oit down, you old -, and help US eat.
Get out some more bivalves and husk the
shells off the top side of the varmints and
poke the stove under 'em.
"Sit down, Charley; waiter, another bottle.
How do l feel? FIneI'n cut off shot gun.
Here, fasten your grinder into that
maiden pullet and fill up your glass.
Book keeping much now, Charlie? Well
my uncle Nose, killed in the siege of Luck
now, was a lightning striker at figures.
I've seen him stumble over tombstone
on dark night blind drunk, and in the
morning when he got up tell you the
weight of the corpse when it died. He'd
figure up nine columns waiter, more oys-
tiers, dozen all round, and get some more
on deck, for we're still comm.
what these fellows don't get away with
I'll take myself. We want something to
stay our stomachs until dinner time.
(which way? Pm off for London to-
night, nd Pm heeled with the scads I'll
take some chunks of gold specimens there
that I'll make Victoria want some shares
of the mine.
Mining, dye call it? Stop right there
Don't ever talk of mining in Lundy, it's
quarrying. We take the metal out in
blocks.
"Have you those other three dozen oys-
ters ready, waiter? We don't want to
wait all the morning for oysters. Keep
cooking and keep bringin'; run till we
hOller quit.
Smother them trout in cream when you
cook 'em, and get the half-shells in here
lively.
What! not use cream in Lundy? l have
cream all the year round; you get butter
from Sacramento; chuck it into churp
and run it backwards spell; you run it
right back into cream. Seer"
After about twelve dozen oysters had
been disposed of, Townsend began to show
signs of abatipg his onslaught on the meal
and said briefly:
"Nuff oysters"
"Here is the beefsteak and the fish you
ordered" said the waiter, bringing them in.
Just chuck the fish back into the wagon
and salt the meat down till 1 get back
from London" said Jim as he settled the
score and started up the street.
He was around all day coating the city
with a.strong yermillion hue, and is doubt
less by this time on his way to London.