Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1889-02-09


arer she said, and how happy you looki
Darling, ny that n b who am the causs Of
yuur happiness Tho handsome young man
tenderiy kissed the lips Of his dear ono Yea
he said, II Is because you lovc mo that am
20 happy, but owe my look Of rssplendeut
health TO Dr.. Smiths sirupw
On q hair drcssers shop read, "Tonsorial
Palace Professor Rogcn has your hair cut
under his own supervision. How Is 1t cutf--
As you like II Shakespeare"
President Cleveland, wishing ono day tose
certain circus performance. sent to retain .
box. Tho circus proprietor Immediately
hired, and sent about the streets Of tho town,
small army Of sandwich men, carrying an
advertisement worded as follows,
"The president Of the United States with his
young and beautiful wife will honor the cir.
Gus with their presence this evening""
There was such . demand for seats that
hundreds of people were refused; but Mr.. and
Mira Cleveland, having heard that their
names had served an an advertisement, did
not appear.
After the performance, great part Of the
audience demanded tho return Of half their
entrance money en- the ground that tho pro-
grammo had not been carried out In ifgeen-
tirety, since the president and his WIG had
not made their appearance m the spectators
had been led to expect
The circus manager was obliged 10 rein-
burse, says the paper from which extract
the account
Never lay aside IN American newspaper
H.. al,
Ten to ono you will be rewarded for your
patience.
There are travelling doctors in America
who go from town TO town to heal the sick at
reduced prices
Here Is the advertisement OF one of these
gentlemen. It Is headed with his portrait,
and appears In the papers Of the towns bo
operates uponi
'Dr r. has already remained In NJ
longer than he first intended, but at tho rc-
quest Of numerous individuals and friends no
will extend his stay ono week longer. Pa
tients In other towns have been disappointed
by his long stay in NJ, but they have his
assurance that this visit viii not bo extended
beyond tho time stated above"
This stereotyped advertisement has flavor
Of tho drum and cymbals of the mountebsnk.
Walk up, ladies' and gentlemen walk up and
show your tongues and have your pulses felt.
Further down, this samo medical gentle
man falls into the style OF tho chimney sweep,
anxious to enlarge his connections: "He thanks
bis many friends and patrons for the kind
ness and patronage bestowed upon him, and
trusts, by pursuance Of tho same honorable
business and professional methods and efforts,
to fully merit a continuance Of same"
In tho smoking room Of tho Germnnic ono
day an American, who sat near me, said, ad-
dressing me;
~ believe you are going to America to
lecture, sirr
YES" replied, 81 am"
"Who Is booming your show, may l askr'
he said in tho most natural way In tho world.
/ must have stared at him like q rustic,
being utterly at loss TO understand what he
meant.
Upon getting this Amoricanism explained
had the satisfaction OF finding that my inter-
locutor's question simply meant in English.
"Who is your impresarioi"
SWELL" thought l, ~ am going to have a
lively time In tho States, that's evident: this
isa foretaste that Is promising" went to
my cabin thinking about tho Yankee who
was TO "boom my show"
The greatest boomer" In America IS tho
great, tho only, the unique Barnum. Tho
personality Of this king Of showmen Is not
particularly interesting, except for being
typically American, and ono that could not
oxisf r., ann cn,ptr,, hut p,ari,,
Mr. Phineas 7. Barnum, pursued by fate,
Is every five years tho victim Of conGagra-
ton. His fires happen with terrible rcgu-
larity Whilst was In America his tigers
and elephants were burned out of house and
home Scarcely had tho flames been extin-
guished when there were paragraphs In tho
papers TO say that Mr. Bainum's agent was
buying fresh animals for tho biggest show
ON EARTH" and all over tho walls Of Americas
cities were TO be seen tlaring posters repre-
scnting Phineas Barnum rising from the
flames like a modern phoenix. Appended
was long literary essay which began:
"Rising phnnix like from tho ashes Of my
fifth fire." and setting forth tho wonderful
attractions Of the new show which was to bo
opened.
Mr.. Barnum holds in small esteem the man
who lets slip chance Of making money.
He would think it quito natural TO olfer
5000 week to Gen. Boulanger to show
himself In his museum, and would think it
very unnatural that the general should re-
fuse such handsome offer. The rumor has
it that the enterprising Pbineas wrote to NJ
Pasteur some time since to try and engage
him. Ho guaranteed, it Is said, $4,000 to
the ilustrious savant II no would inoculate
before the American public twice day. It
was not much TO ask, and the $50 900 would
have been easily earned. Barnum, however,
had to content himself with engaging gen.
tieman in spectacles, resembling more or less
| the famous professor. and he succeeded in
securing four little Americans whom NJ. Pas-
, teur had just saved from hydrophobia. They
were inoculated with clear water probably
| for a month In all the principal towns Of the
| States. Tho society for tho protection of
| animals, which does not include man In its
| circle Of operations, made no objection, and
the Golfers Of the enterprisins Phineas over.
| flowed with dollars.
| Mr.. Barnum does not understand how a
| good offer can be refused. He looks upon
everything as being TO sell or let, and the
almighty dollar as the master OF the world
| One day he took it into his head to make al
offer for the house in which Shakespeare wa,
born. The English fired up at the idea, and
he had to abandon his project and be satisfied
with Jumbo.
II every European nation were to bocom,
a republic the dethroned monarchs could gC
and make their fortunes in America, and th,
greatest ambition Of Mr.. Barnum would b,
realized.