The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-06-29
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Periodically the police of this city
have TO hustle around with all their
might TO keep one Of Washington's
citizens from preoipitating his remains
on the Health Department. He is q
suicidal crank. About once in every
two months he reaches the conclusion
that he has lived long enough, and goes
to work with pistols, arsenic--anything
that comes handy TO end his career.
Once or twice he came very near being
succ essful, In his enterprise. His
trorhlcs are peculiar, and really form.
some justification of his morbid tenden.
cies. The only reprehensible feature Of
these attempts Is their lack Of attention
TO detail; their entire want Of precision.
He Is living on the proceeds of the dis
graceful calling of his female relatives
his mother and sistcr--and II iswhen he
gets sober enough to realize his position
that the suicidal fit seizes him.
Nv
The stove at police headquarters has
been ruthlessly robbed Of its summer
vacation. While II was cooling off and
resting up for the warm weather the
Office cat took possession and turned IL
into q boarding house for herself and a
brand new family of kittens. They
find their new residence very comfort.
able and Mrs. Feline receives visitors
with quite an impressive air OF high
toned hospitality.
~.
Thirty years ago there lived in Wash.
ington gentleman known to his init.
mates as Jimmy Moreland He was a
genius In his way. n man of many and
original ideas. He himself did not set
much store by them, and was always
ready to exchange them for couple Of
drinks, which 10 him was as good as
money. Jimmy never protited by his
many good ideas, but other people did,
and when he had good thing TO tell
they were always ready to ask him to
indulge in social glass.
Jimmy knew eYery newspaper man In
town, and from m they got many q
good story. Now and then he would
have q squirt of enterprise and originate
a hoax that would get the town by the
ears. In those days Tiber Creek had
not been utilized as sewer, but was
spanned by broad wooden bridge
just where the Naval Monument
now stands. Jimmy lived on
what was then, and Is now by some,
known as the Island. On his way home
one morning, after protracted
seanCe, he leaned over the rail of this
bridge TO rest moment 1t was then that
he saw the ghost. He declared that IL
was great white apparition and walked
on the surface of the water, disappear
ing under the bridge. Jimmy didn't
stop to see II IL came out at the other
side. He turned, and as fast as his un-
steady steps could carry him, made his
way home. -
The next day he told the story with
mnny added details to his friend, the
editor of the Times. The story was put
into type with % big black "scare
head" and divers subheads. The
paper sold like the hot cakes that the
young German man peddles from a
wagon about the streets People read,
wondered and went to see the spot where
Jimmey had seen his apparition.
Thousands Of people stood on the banks
OF the Iiber every evening watching,
watching, watching for the ghost that
never come. Jimmy was there to tell
them all about It and the saloon across
the way done q rushing business, and
Johnny.s nose grew redder and redder
That ghost was the death of Jimmy.
He told his story so often and took SO
many drinks between times that 1t re,
suited In his death. And for q long
time after this people used to occa.
sionally see Jimmy's ghost, not the
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