Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-07-05
SOME SHORT LAUGHS.

that moves the whirled.
MANY grave charges are made against
citizens by the secretary of o cemetery
association.-Oit City Blizzard.
Now THAT bustles are going out of
fashion, it is to be hoped that the Indi-
ans will leave off their war-whoops.
A MINISTER one day said in hi; pull
pit: "We pursue shadow-thn bubble
bursts and leaves ashes in Or hands,"
BEss1E-How dreadfull,y ill-fitting
all Miss Dowdy's things are. Jennie
Yes. Shed need to haze apoplexy to
get a fit.
WHEN the backbone of strike is
broken we suppose the fact should be
recorded in the spinal column of the
newspaper.
No CURVE pitcher for a baseball
team can expect position in the post
Office. Parties waiting for their mail
expect a straight delivery.
THROUGH the eating of forbidden
fruit the first man lost Paradise, and
that is perhaps why he fancies he can
find paradise in forbidden fruit?
CUSTOMER can't wear this suit,
and that's the end Of it! It's all
shrunk up on one side! Rosedale-Vat
you expecgt nit dem diagonal goots?
BOBBY Gas the song ends)-Why did
the minstrel boy take his harp to the
war, papa? Papa-So he might prac-
tice where he wouldn't be heard, [ sup
pose!
We have heard of men engraving the
Lords prayer on q five-cent piece but
New York poet has excelled this feat.
He has written poem "On Lock of
Washingtons Hair.
If a woman would believe less of
what man tells her before marriage
and more of what he tells her afterward
the welded state would be much
more harmonious affair.
MANAGER Ito critic)-We are think
ing of having real tree for scene
in our new play. What kind would you
suggest? Critic-Well I think chest
nut would be the most appropriate.
Mr.. YouNG-Peter, did the gentle
men drink all the wine at dinner last
night? Peter-Yes, sir; an if it hadn't
been for my foret'ought when de dinner
beginned, wouldn't had none myself.
II WISH to propose for the hand of
your daughter" (Which Of them,
young man? Which OF them?" well,
I don't know. Now, in confidence,
which of them would you advise fell
low to take?"
president appointed you to office
vet ?" well, no, but I've cot charge
Of a court house nights" "a court
,house?" eyes" Glow is that?" 1--WE
got six manageable daughters. Chit
cago Ledger.
W1FE-So I've caught you. See this
black hair on your coat? I'm blonde,
Husband-I was petting the cat Wife
Rather a strange cat. This hair is
eighteen inches long; better send that
cats hair to museum.
GR1sErrE (crying on street corner)-
Oh, dear, what shall do! I have lost
all my wages. Rich lady philan.
thropic)-Too bad gives napoleon)
Where did you lose them, my dear
Grisette-Playing roulette.
"Do YOU realize, darling, the impor-
lance of the step you are about to
take?" inquired her mamma of q girl
who was soon to be married II should
say did," was the answer; "ain't L
going to wear dress from PARISH
AN exchange advises everybody to
plant Washington tree" We don't
know what the species Of Washing
be poplar. Or perhaps-but our read
ers might get sycamore puns on this
subject.
SWELL, how did you enjoy yourself
in the Art Exhibition ?" 90, splendidly {!
I looked at nobody's picture but yours
You see there were always so many
people standing before the other pic
lures, and there was always plenty Of
room by yours"
Mr.. RETRosPECT-This is the age of
progress, my dear. Mrs. Retrospect.
Nonsense! read of the death Of some
celebrated man nearly every day, but I
never hear of any celebrated man being
born to take the places of those who
are passing away.
Won BULow says that every pianist
should learn to sing and play the vio-
lin, cas- their ears would then hear
more critically the sounds they pro-
duce, and thereby teach them how to
phrase" Some pianists we have heard
should learn to cook and to make shoes
and let the piano alone.
YOUNG Mr.. Sissy (indulging in a
light luncheon -Ah, waiter, you may
bring me Schweitzer cheese sand
wich, with no butter. please, and q
tziao of mustard; and waiter, let the
cheese be fresh and thin! Waiter def
erentially) Yes, sir; would you like
the holes to be cut out Of it?
IF you put a sign upon a door
with the word "paint" printed upon it,
half of the passers-by will question the
veracity of the statement and put out
an Investigating finger. When there
is ice upon the sidewalk the case is en-
tirely different. People tumble to that
at once without having their attention
called to it at all.
IN THE KITCHEN.
dainty cap Of cambria
She wore upon her hair;
Her sleeves were tucked up neatly,
Her dimpled elbows bare