Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-11-15

| gramme-tO SJafVe her into SuDmlSSlOn-Dut
thought I'd try it with the other things
We sat down to our first dinner at home.
My wife sat opposite me, looking so pretty,
80 exceptionally good natured, that my heart
almost failed me. After all, wouldn't it be
better to wait until she should provoke me2
No, had laid the plan and would carry it
out. All our future depended upon it. The
servant placed before me a smoking joint.
took up the carving knife and whetted it ON
the steel savagely. My heart beat like a ket-
tie drum. Somehow it struck me that l was
about to mako a fool of myself: but j thought
again of all that was at stake, and began my
training
| Jane" burst out suddenly, addressing the
| servant, "whats the matter with this meat?"
'tNothing, sir, that l know Of" Jane SIN
swered, opening her eyes.
1.-THE meat is burned,"I exclaimed, feign-
ing anger which didn't feel. Take it away"
! To say that my wife was astonished wouldn't
alone Indicate her feelings or her appearance.
She turned deadly pale.
flake it away" repeated.
| By this time my wife had partially re-
| covered her equanimity. l expected every
mornent to feel the decoration of fragmentary
| glass about my brow l was disappointed.
''Take it away, Jane, she said, in a soft
voice.
| l was delighted. 1t was plain that she had
seen an evidence of will power that she daren't
| Oppose. With difficulty controlling my agi-
| tation rose from the table. My wife followed
| me into the drawing room. passed on into
| the hall, and taking my hat and stick turned
! toward her and said:
| 81 am going out l will return at s. We
| will then keep our engagement at your
| fathers"
| She stood looking at me; her face betoken-
| ing alternate wonder and amusement, with
an occasional shade of anxiety. Then there
l came a sudden spasmodic little laugh, fol-
| lowed by as sudden flash of lightning in the
/ eyes. Had delayed a moment the storm
would have burst But l didn't delay |
went out and shut the door after me.
| l went directly to my club. Taking my old
seat in the dining room l ordered a good din
her and bottle of wine. l felt that thus far
| all had gone as could be expected. The ball
| was opened. My wife was at home and no
dinner. l was at the club with plenty to eat
| and bottle Of excellent Chateau Margaux
| By the time l had drained the last glass felt
| quite equal to the remainder of the ordeal
| before me, and resolved firmly not to depart
| one iota from my model Petruchio Having
| finished my dinner and tossed off q pony of
/ brandy to put capper on my courage, re-
| turned to my work l was surprised to find
my wife quite calm She ready to go
with me to her fathers. She quietly took
| my arm and we walked slowly up the street.
| 1t was about dusk. The full moon, rising,
| stood in the east large and round.
| 'How large the moon looks, u she remarked.
sit is full tonight think"
'sThe moons"
Eyes, the moon. 1 said the moon"
| cts the sun. The moon never shines at
this time of day."
s'Oh, is it?" Her tone didn't imply convic-
| ton.
81 tell you that's the sum-" 1 clustered.
| "Do you mean to contradict me?"
There was an ominous pause.
| ''Oh, no; wouldn't think of contradicting
such an astronomical prodigy. "Of course
| it's the SUM-" Her tone made me crawl.
| ''Then l say it's the MOON"
'Do you? l knew when married you that
you weren't bright, but supposed you could
| at least tell the sun from the moon"
| The conversation terminated at this point
/ l was not getting on, and was glad when, a
l few moments later, we reached her fathers
house. We were received with open arms, of
1 course ''How well you both look!" and
\ ibid you find everything comfortable at
homes" and ''Was the dinner nicely served?'
| "You must be like two kittens on a feather
1 pillow" I think this last remark, made by
l Mrs Browns little brother, contained trace
| of irony.
| Two cats, I thought.
[ No sooner were their greetings over, and
/ we had kissed and been kissed all round, than
my wife and her mother disappeared.
| "Whats that?n asked myself
| From the dining room, separated from
| where we were only by door, 1 heard my
| wifes voice mingling with the clatter of
| dishes on hard mahogany.
| | leaned back in my chair trifie discour-
| aged. The starvation part of my plan was
! surely failure. But then 1 hadn't counted
| much on that
| Mrs. Brown spent the whole evening in the
! dining room and then sent me word that she
| would remain all night with her mother.
| This was an avenue that had not thought
Of WINGED There was nothing for me to
do but go home alone. did so and went to
bed-less hopeful than had been since the
commencement of hostilities
The next evening when 1 returned from
business found my wife at home and in the
hands of a dressmak5r. She had been pro-
vided with an elaborate trousseau; but one
| DRESS designed to be worn on her reception
days, had been left unfinished. She was
| standing before the mirror in the gown, the
skirt of which the dressnaker was arranging
| to hang more evenly. I advanced and took
the fabric between my thumb and finger.
sWhat rotten stuff is this?" 1 asked
''It's silk, sir" faltered the dressmaker
''Silk? This silkg'
''Costly silk, sir"
cts base imitation A mixture of poor
silk and cotton And thiss"
Lace, sir"
'Do you tell me this is lace? My wife shall
wear no such stuff. She must be dressed as
becomes her matchless beauty"
My wife stood staring at me in mute Won
der. Was it fear or anger that first blanched
her cheek and then flushed it hot as fire? 1
shuddered at the first word she should speak,
But it was not spoken. Beckoning to the
dressmaker to follow her, she strobe out of
the room, and passing into the adjoining
| chamber locked the door.
l descended to the dining room. 1t was
dinner time and I was very hungry. 1
waited for an hour for my wife to come down
and dine l waited in vain. At last I resolved
to dine alone.
SECT me bottle of wine, Jane" said to
the maid.
Madam has it under lock and KEY.
sirn
need not report to you the familiar little
word l used to express my displeasure. l took
my hat and went to the club and dined there
I sat alone at my table thinking over the
situation. 1t had been the morning and was
now the evening of the second day, and some
how didn't feel that it was good.
went home at IL midnight. 1 was tired
and sleepy, but purposely delayed so that my
wife might have time to think-to arrive at
the conclusion that she must sooner or later
come to me yanquished and beg for terms.
Then proposed to take her to my arms, ex-
plain my strange conduct and bid her be a
dutiful wife, whereupon all such evidences of
my displeasure would he avoided in future
When l went upstairs | found our bedroom
door locked and bolted. ] had especially ar
ranged it myself for safety against burglars,
and knew | couldn't force it. | must either
beg to be let in or stay out Tho former
would DO fatal, the latter did. | went to
another room II WAS locked | tried an