Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1889-09-12
Mr.. AND MRS. BoWSsn
ny MRS BowsgR.


way, but when Mr.. Bowser was build
ing tho house he got m idea that
furnace heat warped all tho wood
work, and that steam was dangerous
and sin lister enemy. A few days ago,
when 1t was time TO put up base-burn-
ers, he said TO me:
MRS. Bowsor, do you know what
makos heatP"
Goal and WOOD I suppose"
HAS combustion anything to do
with itP'
Il suppose So"
Don't you knowp II not, why
don't you find outP There Is no ex-
cuse for ignorance in this day Of the
world. II combustion causes hcat,
what naturally folowsp"
1T naturally follows what 1t does"
"Yes, and it naturally follows that
you don't know enough to como in
when it rains! was going to talk to
you about the purchase Of coal stove
two or three OF them. but it would be
useless. Some minds can't compre-
bend anything beyond an old crazy
quilt and bas-cyed baby!'
II know q coal stove when l SEQ II,
Mr.. Bowser.
.Oh! you do? What Is the principle
the great fundamental principle-of
q base-burncrp"
"Why. you put in the coal. and the
fire heats the room?
.Um! Very smart! What causes the
coal to burn?'
1.-THE fire."
"Mrs. Bowserr' he said in his most
solemn manner. lit was a good thing
you married me! II you hadn't you
would never have known n sand-pile
from circus. Don't you know-that
is, can't l make you comprehend
that there must be draughts. fues.
checks, ovcr-currents, under currents,
ombusiion, anti.cOmbust:on. cOgs,
ratchets. shakers, dumps and dozen
other things about base burner-such
base-burner rs we want? II we have
perfect combustion what follows"
We've are glad"
''Oh. we are! Well, 1t Is 10 use to
waste further words on you! II you
were q widow you'd rush of and buy
the first base-burner you set eyes on.
and you'd never give thought as to
whether it consumed three or thirteen
tons OF coal for the winter. l shall
purchase such stoves rs see fit"
They came up III II day or two, three
Of EN- One was for the sitting room.
another for the hall. and the third was
to 90 upstairs. A man came along to
put them up and start the fires. He
showed mo about tho hampers and
; checks. and when Mr.. Bowser came
home everything was bright and cheer
full, and the stoves hadn't given me o
moments uneasiness.
..Who started these tires?" demand
; ed Mr. Bowser, almost before he had
, crossed the threshold.
"Why, the man who put up the
stoves"
He did. ell? And what does he
know about starting fire in a coal
stove I'd like to know. Ho ought to
be discharged for his assurance"
''He ,eiued to know all about It,"
ing are two very different things. It g
1 o good thing | arrived as did, or the
r house would have been blown up OF
Z burned down. Let me at this stove
And he began showing and pulling
at doors and checks and hampers in
the sittng-room stove. and then went
the rounds of the house.
The combustion was scarcely ten
per cent" he observed as he wen,
o back TO the silt ng room, "while the
y waste of fuel was fully ninety. Didn't
you notice the imperfect circulation Of
{ the hot ar current P"
: "No, dear"
That's because you never notice
y anything until you hit it with your
nose! have got everything nicely
regulated now. and want to see i
you haven't got brains enough to"
"Mr. Bowscr, the gas Is leaking
Can't you smell it?" interrupted.
e 1T must be-" he replied rs he sniff.
! ed around; and he at once made toul
/ OF the house. Before he got back
i had to open the door. and baby was
'e deathly sick.
N ut must be coal gas from the stove
n Mr.. Bowser. See how blue the fam,
r, is. Arc You sure it is regulated3"
n Am sure that am n human beinl
instead Of goat! he Indignantly ex
CltlIneN. uCEc u ucstu CAV Ill III
house!'
~ i However. we had 10 throw the win
st dows mp. and the question settled 1t
At self before wo had finished supper
$ Each fire went dead out and the odo
n. abated.
t w "You see, you shut off the dranghts,
9, I ventured to observe as Mr.. BOwse
$. got down on Ia knees to peer around
is IL did, ch; ma, be didn't know hoy
0. to run coal stove before you wer
born! | sec what's the matter"
he affixed the shaker and bega
shaking. an! inside of ten seconds b
.s dumped the fire-p"t.
r, After half an hours work he starte,
IN the fire anew, bu' | refused to burn
=, He rushed around talking about com
er bustion. currents, vacuum and so on
and when told him to drop the damp
or and open the ,lraughts he IA rly let
bis feet rs he rcplied.
"Never! never! I'll knock the blast
ed ed thing in the head W til the Ak first!
is Is. From 8 until 10 clock in the even
RS ing MIR. Bowser was engaged in pour
6i ing coal into the feeders, dumping
nd out of the fire-pots and scattering Il nj
re over the house, and he finally went (
III bed in the cold. He declared that tn
chimncys were choked up the stove
IS. constructed on wrong principles. an
- the coal full of slate, and when he LEI
the house in the morning, III was wit
the assertion: ~
"Fll send boiler-maker up here
look those internal things oyer ] dan
me believe the tlues arc large enough
on furnish the proper pressure.
,lG When he had departed, cook and
H. Ii. soon had every fire alight and burnin
The nicely, and we hadn't touched th
w w stoves again. When Mr. Bowser can
i've up to dinner. he made an inspection I
I'M Bach stoye, game back to the sittIn
,en room with self,saiisfed smile on h
rty face, and giving baby q chuck And'
To- the oh u he said to met
2o). '.Mrs. Bowser, lot this DO o gre
30, moral lesson to you to cultivate the vi
. tue of perseverance, Suppose / b,