Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-06-14

| how can i ten ue1s
| By her cellar;
| Clearly shelves and whitened wall
can guess her
| By her dresser;
By the back staircase and han
| And with pleasure
| Take her measure
| By the way she keeps her hroomn
Or the peeping
At the keeping
OF her back and unseen rooms
By her Kitchens air of neatness,
And its general completeness.
| Where in cleanliness and sweetness
| The rose Of order blooms
Good Housekeeping.
Pusilism in the Kitchen.
| Cook ION the day following her arrivaD-I
| am sometimes liable to get spunky and sass
back, mum, but you must not mind it, as get
| over it In few minutes.
| Six Foot Mistress with raised browsl-Oh,
| pray don't worry On my account. You see
when one of my servants gets her back up,
and goes to smashing things, just grab her
| by the back hair and break some of the
| cheaper furniture with her body.
Cook-Y-ss m-u-m.-Peck's Sun.
The Difference.
Stern Father-Do you not know that it is
gambling to play marbles for keepsa
Guilty Son-No, sir. Was it gambling
when you and those gentlemen played cards
for pennies the other night when mamma
| was outl
Stern Father Cess Observation-Disclosures
you see, my son, you are too young to under
stand the difference in such things. There's
nickel; go and buy yourself some new mar
bles. THE Epoch.
Willie the Slicer.
Our Willie found a razor.
Now" said he ''like goat
I'll have cunning little whiskers
Upon my face and throat
But he sliced his alabaster neck
Alas! the jug1llar, too
Cold and hairless in the little mug
Where the whiskers never grew.
Exchange.
Compliments Freely Exchanged.
"Miss Clara" he murmured fondly, ''can
yoc tell me why your eyes are like the starsF
mo. Why are theya"
Because they shine SO brightly"
"Ahl thanks. But you are like the stars
too, Mr.. Daily"
''Why, may I ask?
Because you stay until daybreak" And
shortly afterward his footsteps could have
been heard as they battered along the board
walk.-Boston Budget.
Assured of the Future.
'But. Herbert" she said, think of the
future. You cannot surround me with the
luxuries to which l have been accustomed.
''But your father
''He would do nothing for u.s."
''Does he play poker?'
"No."
"Then will teach him. Trust in me, dar-
ling, and have no fear for the future"-
Merchant Traveller
She Drove Him Mad.
'Take away that soda fountain"
Twas the manac's horrid yell,
AS he sat with reason clouded
In his narrow padded cell
He had clerked it in shoe store,
And caught in society," mad whrl,
Throughout the beguing springtime
He courted soda loving girl
New York Herald
A Summer Position.
Omaha Housewife-Here you are begging
for food. Why don't you go to work!
Indigent-Tm going to work soon, ma'am.
My work is such that I can find employ luent
only during the summer months.
Omaha Housewife-What do you dot
Indigent-I'm sea serpent editor and my
work is to advertise summer resorts.-Omaha
World.
The Usual Disappointment.
Omaha Youth-I've called for nv new
spring suit.
Average Tailor-sorry, but it is not fin
ished.
Omaha Youth-Why, you said you would
have it done if you worked all night.
Average Tailor-Yes, but didn't work all
night-Omaha World.
A Paraphrase.
It may be of some consequence
To some one if we say
The man has certainly horse sense
Who knows when to say neigh
Boston Courier
She Got There.
Elsie and Charlie are out walking
Elsie-Oh! feel sick; l am going to faint.
Charlie-Oh, myl What will / do if you
do.
Elsie feebly)-Carry me into that caramel
store. (Faints. THE Epoch.
Half and Half.
orderaJ howl