The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1889-11-09
THE NEW PHONOGRAPH.
i View of Its Operations When in Fall
Blast in the Newspaper Office.

Edison claims that his new phono
graph, few of which are now on the
market, is going to work revolution in
newspaper offices. The editor or report
er will talk what he has to say right into
the phonograph. The metal strip which
receives the remarks, which Mr.. Edison
calls the phonogram, but which probably
should more properly be called the glider
nuke, is then removed and sent to the
composing room, where it will be insert
ed in the compositor's phonOgraph. He
will press lever with his foot, and the
machine will casually mention ten words,
and then relapse into deep thought, till he
sets them and repeats the performance
If he doesn't catch the remarks he kicks s
another lever and the machine repeats.
All this has very interesting appear
ance at distance, bat it does not seeM
as if the composing will be alto
gether free from trouble, even when there
is an able phonograph wearing swal-
lOw-tail coat and opera-front vest, sitting
up on every case, debating scholarly ed
itorial and graphic descriptive matter. 1t
will make the composing room partake
something of the nature of an anarchists
meeting to have half dozen phOnO-
graphs in an elocutionary voice talk
ing off editorials, while twice as many
are rolling out editorial matter, and
another gang are making very ear
nest remarks about the markets,
and still another lot are roaring out the
advertisements. When one of the ed
itoridl machines begins to get deeply i'll
earnest and puts one hand under his
coat-tailS, swells out its breast and
throws back its head and begins to talk
very loud about "a Crying Need of the
Hour" it will only help to confuse mat
ters. SO'also will the government chem
list in the baking powder advertisement,
and the reduction sale dry goods an
nouncments; when these monographs
begin to paw the case, and howl and
occasionally shoot out an electrotype cut
of 4 new summer suit or something, and
take the compositor in the ear, and
knock him down and then get mad be-
cause he isn't up and at work, it is 60
ing TO make exciting times.
While the unsuspecting photographer
is leaning over and pouring its ten words
into the compositor's ear he will forget,
and make his well known and heated re
marks about the leanneSS of the type or
unsatisfactory character of the take"
or he will make OvertureS TO another
compositOr looking toward the loan of
some tobacco, and the phonOgraph will
take it and mix it up with an editorial
on "The Progress of Christian Work."
and he will set it this way and subse-
quently the earnest, glowing swear word
of the proof reader will be noted as it
floats out from another room.
Then one of those excitable nervous
men will be working on a case with
quick, impulsiye phonograph, and the
foot lever will break, or something, and
the phonograph will go right on talking,
and he will try to set as fast as it can
talk. The casual spectator will observe
tall round-shOuldered man, with no
suspenders on, humping down over the
case and making desperate and light
ming grabs after letters ont of two
boxes at once. The air will be filled
with type flying in all directions, and
above the roar OF the phOnograph, gal
Looping along on a cable dispatch full of
Russian generals names will be heard
the red, molten remarks of an excited
and nervous compositor. The type in
the air will grow thicker, pieces of the
partitions between the boxes will join
the cloud. the nervous man will double
over still more and clutch whole hand
fulls of ''e's' and three-em Spaces and
hurl them up TO the ceiling, scrape down
the upper-case, tearing away the boxes,
all the time yelling stopper 'ern' to
which the machine will only reply with q
hoarse, hollow laugh, till ut last he will
seize it, and tear il from its place, and
beat the -four with the helpless mechan-
| ism till 1t becomes a shepelesS mass, and
hasn't a word to say, and till the tall,
| excitable compoSitOr has TO be carried
away to the hospital.
Such scenes as these will tend to dis
turb the harmony of the composing room
and cause friction.
Again, when the editor is pouring his
| tale into a phonograph, perhaps a door
will slam, for instance, and the faithful
instrument will record it; and when it is
repeated for the compositor, if he doesn't t
happen to fully understand the thing, he
will stand there all night trying to set
! that slam.
This will cause loss of time, and more
friction and profanity, and on the whole
there is going TO be more trouble with
the phonograph in the composing room
than there is now with the dark, mystic
riOus, unknowable specimens of penman-
ship at present turned out by the editor,
who claims that he used to set type with
Horace Greeley, and has been frequently
reused out of a sound sleep in the middle
of the night to find the elder Bennett
standing by his bedside waiting with a
perplexed air to ask his advice on some
naughty journalistic point.