Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1889-12-28
Varieties.
Happy New Year to all.

| IA I1dpP1 4NCN w All
Ceremonies differ in every country,
| but true politeness is ever the same.
Not to enjoy life, but to employ life,
ought to be our aim and inspiration.
What though your purse is empty,
pray, if hearts are full Of joy to-day
Nothing is more dangerous than a
friend without discretion even a pru-
dent enemy is preferable.
Human nature is so constituted,
that all see, and judge better in the
affairs Of other men, than in their
own.
The future of every man depends
upon three things: TO take into ac-
count to resolve what to do; and to
do it.
Remember that although they are
all your children, each one has an in
dividual character and that tastes and
qualities very indefinitely.
He-"Where did you get that suit
of armor?" She-"That belonged to
my great great-grandfather He (who
knows the family history)-"O, yes; to
keep the flies off while he was plough
ing"
Animate us to cheerfulness. May
we have joyful sense of our blessings,
learn to look on the bright circum-
stances of our lot, and maintain per-
petual contentedness under thy allot-
ments.
| Poet-"I know now how Columbus
must have felt when he discovered
America" Editor - "How's that ?"
Poet (gayly)-"Why, I've just found
a dime in the pocket of my last sum-
mer's suit"
Adversely exasperates fools, defects
towards, draws out the faculties of the
wise and industrious, puts the modest
to the necessity Of trying their skill,
awes the opulent, and makes the idle
industrious.
The question: where do pins go?'
seems to be in fair way to be answer
ed At least we know that a talented
citizen who sat down on one yesterday
seemed to have no difficulty in deci-
ding where it had gone.
Chats beautiful country place Of
Newrich's," said the book-keeper, "do
you know what he calls t." keep
off the grass" replied the office boy,
"and he's so proud of it he's got it
stuck up all over the lawn"
You find yourself refreshed by the
presence of cheerful people; why not
make earnest effort to confer that plea
sure on Others? You will find half the
battle is gained if you never allow
yourself to say anything gloomy.
The richest genius, like the most
fertile soil, when uncultivated, shoots
up into the rankest weeds, and instead
Of vines and olives for the pleasure and
use Of man, produces to its slothful
owner the most abundant crop of poi
sons.
jenkins and his wife are pouting
after domestic "scene" when their son
Bob ruffies the treacherous calm.
mamma, which is the king of beasts ?"
The poor abused wife casts whitening
glance at her spouse, and replies "Man
my dear"
Little Alice-"And did Solomon
know more than anybody who was
ever in the world, papa?" Papa
(thoughtfully)-"Well, | guess he
knew more than anybody ever met,
except perhaps your sixteen-year-old
brother Jack"
Mrs. st. Ii see that Richard
Wagner's gondola has been sold in
, Venice" Mrs C.-"Why, thought
, that Wagner was the sleeping-car
man." Mrs. st. L.--"O, no ; Wagner,
the composer, you know, The Condo
, la was his favorite instrument"
They have curious way of decid-
ing law suits in Siam. Both parties
are put under cold water, and the one
staying the longest wins the suit. In
this country, both parties are got into
hot water and kept there as long as
possible. The result is the same.
: Little Viola wished a very large
5 doll last Christmas, but as it was quite
= expensive she was given smaller one
o Playing contentedly with it one day
S she suddenly stopped and said "Mam-
?, ma, know why didn't get that big
Il doll"
+ "Why, darling ?" asked mamma.
d "Cause our chimney's too little
k Santa Claus couldn't bring the big ONT
st down. wish he had known the way
to our front door.