The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1889-05-17
W1T 1ND HUkOR

Man gets but little here below DER
which to make much Of . crow.
sIE we cawnt be entirely happy, let
us be sappy - We can" is the dudes
motto.
WHEN artists submit competitive de-
signs the contestis likely to result in .
draw.
DoIAxD. OAK, has . lawyer named
Korns. Is he . descendant Of John
Bunyan2
A NAN likes TO be sat on by his
sweetheart before marriage. After
marriage he doesn't.
The trouble with dancing clubs Is
that they have too many round dances
and too few square meals.
THERE. is very little profit in manu-
featuring strawberry boxes for the
trade. The bottoms come too high.
The Italians may be a light-hearted
enough people in their own country,
but here it is common to find them in
the dumps.
IT is q little singular, hut IL is true
all the same, that if DR.. .Talmag
were to quit the pulpit he would be an
ex-pounder of the Bible.
THAT man an editor, eh?" Eyes"
Il should think he'd get the writer's
cramp." ooh, no! he uses the scissors
too much!"-Chicago Ledger.
In summer hours her hand he sought
When they together played at tennis:
The winter to the MAIDEN brought
Arfcher beau, whom soon she caught
And now the first ones name ia Dennis.
sWHAr o viper that Mrs. Z-isl"
sThere's no use making her out as bad
as that my dear. She only tries to bite
in order to make us believe she has
some teeth left"
WIFE-Tve found exactly the girl I've
been looking for-but Unfortunately 1
can't engage her. Hdsband-why not9
Wife-She'st too large for the servants
INSTRUMENTATION Beacon.
Eli say, my boy!" sWhat is It, old
chappie?" @Did they ave bees in the
h'ark, don'tcher know?" II suppose So
sBut Hi cawn't find hany haccount Of
hit in the h'arkives, you see."
sWHAT did Miss Frost say in answer
to your ~proposal?" "Well, she spoke
in such o hoarse whisper that I found it
impossible to understand her" 90,
then she probably said neigh"
B1LBY-My trousers are short and do
not touch my shoes. ! do not see how
they could get fringed that way.
Dolby-Dont understand it? Why,
they're frayed Of your shoes. That's it.
MOTHER Ito three children)-Come.
children, be getting ready for church.
Boy (aged Dwell, I'd just like to
know what p~reaching's for, any way.
Girl aged 5)-Why, don't you know?
It's to give the singers q rest.
Mrs. PARvENu-Did you take my adj
vice, dear. and go through your hus-
bands pockets for some pin money?
Mrs. Quillpen-Yes, but I found that
the pin money had been ahead Of me.
There were holes in both pockets.
sDo YOUR shopping early in the
morning" says a fashion paper. That
may be good advice, but it is rather
hard on the salesgirls, as it will prevent
them from exchanging confidencesscon on
corning the social experiences OH
previous evening.
A SPRING whose water is a peffeet
writing fluid has been discovered in
Michigan. Now all that is needed is
the discovery of writing paper, a mine
of postage stamps and a quarry of steel
pens, in the same vicinity, to make that
portion of Michigan a literary center"
MAMMA" said a little girl who sat
behind an authenticated travelling man
in the railway cor. "What is it," II
know what made that mans hair red
"What was it?" "God finished him off
with brick DUST" was the reply that
sent the traveller into the smoking car.
sr. PErER-I am afraid you can't en-.
ter here, sir. New Spirit can't
Why, was one of the purest statesmen
that ever lived. Didn't I spend thirty
years of my life demanding an homes,
count? Eyes, but you always wanted
the other party to do the honest count
ing"
WIBBLE-Do you believe all this non
sense you read in the novels about the
sailor falling in love with his ship and
all that sort of thing? Wabble-Oh
yes. At least when a vessel goes on {
cruise the sailor is gone on her untils hs
gets back, isn't he?-Terre Haslte Er
press.
THEATRICAL Manager don't se,
Mile. Sprite, the premiere danseuse
here. Stage Manager-No; she sent
me word that she couldn't lead the bal
let tonight because her trunks were de
stroyed in that hotel fire and she hat
nothing to veal. Huh! That's n.
excuse."-NeU York Weekly.
sL1rrLE GOLDEN LOCKS" to her sis
ter's afianced who is waiting in the par
lor-God loves me more than he does
Marie. @How do you know, little one