The Washington critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1889-1889, 1889-04-04
MATTER WORTH READING.


gentleman was riding to Amerlcus,
Ga, day or two ago, when an old negro
woman, with a scared look, ran from her
house saying: "Boss, Is you got gun In
your pocket ~ "No,n replied the gentle
man, "what's the matter9' "well, yer
sec dat jay bird up dar ~ "Ycs." "Well,
dat jay bird come dar when my old man
die; AM he peck an he holler; den my old
man die; den dat same jay bird cum dor
two years after; he pecks an he hollers;
an my little gal dies. Den las yer he cum
an he go fro de same akshun, an sum
onerous rascal steal all mi chicken; den he
cum to-day, an II yer doan shoot him old
Sallie be ded fore mornin'.n lie took
pistol and fired at the bird and the old
woman shouted, "Bless dc Lord, yer dus
skeer de debble away dis time, suah."
Her Bridal Tour.
Young Mrs. Uosmer arrived In San Fran
cisco the other evening from Los Angeles
on her bridal tour. She lost her husband
somehow, and then went on an enormous
spree, finally landing in the station-house.
She gave bail from well-nlled purse, aud
was taken back to the hotel at o'clock in
the morning, where she was received with
open arms by her husband, who said never
disagreeablc word. He was doubtless
setting an EXAMPLE for the regulation Of
her own future conduct.
His Kind of wife.
A German living In weehawlsen has sent
letter to the superintendent OF Castle
Garden, offering him 81 II he will find
wife for him which will come up to the
specifications given in the letter. He says
she must be rosy-cheeked, golden-haired
Dutch girl, 20 years old, five feet tall,
weighing not over 1875 pounds, plump, and
with waist tapering gently from the
head and feet" She must be of modest,
retiring disposition, and very industrious.
He Didn't Knock.
"If knock three times on the coffin lid
during the church service you must let me
out,n said James Daley of Providence, as
he was nearing his end the other day.
Everybody waited and listened, hut James
did not signal, and the burial went on. If
he forget It the fault was his own.
A Sea serpent's Skin.
The Bombay geological gardens have re-
ceived the body Of serpent sixty-four feet
long and as large around as a nail keg.
Afraid to Marry.
There Is romance connected with the
life Of the late philaDthropist, Isaiah V.
Williamson, which formed a great com
motion In social circles in Philadelphia q
third of a century ago. Mr.. Williamson re-
NAMED bachelor all his life, but II was a
narrow escape, for it was only the exces-
sive timidity of the man which caused him
to shirk at the last moment. Since his
death the circumstance OF the millionaire's
only love venture has been recalled, and
the story told below is youched for by sew
eral OF his friends who knew him In his
money-making days, when he was famil-
lar figure along Third street.
In those days Mr.. Williamson was con-
sidered one Of the beaux OF Philadelphia.
He was extremely fond Of society and was
always prominent figure in the gay and
giddy throngs Of people, not only in this
city, but in New York and elsewhere. 1t
was his custom to spend the greater por-
tion Of the summer months at Saratoga,
where he was much courtcd and angled
after by lovely daughters and designing
mammas. He was everywhere known as
the "rich bachelor from Philadelphia, ("
and, as he was by no means bad-looking
man, he succeeded in creating decided
impression wherever he went.
1t is possible that among the brilliant
throngs at Saratoga he.6rst met the woman
who, SO far as is known, was his only love.
She was Philadelphia belle, a member of
one of the best and Oldest families, lovely
and accomplished woman, wealthy and
in every respect desirable life mate
for the wealthy young merchant. The
courtship was brief one, aud 1t was
not long before the date OF the mar
rage was announced. The ceremony was
to take place in this city at the residence OF
the prospective BRIDES parents. Prepara
tions for the wedding we're on an elaborate
scheme, and 1t was widely heralded as the
coming social event OF the season.
The day arrived and large and brilliant
assemblage OF guests had assembled at the
young lady's residence. The clergyman
was on hand In readiness TO read the mar
riage service. Tho bride looked her loveliest
theIwedding supper was ready for the table
and the guests in full expectation, when
| at the last moment, It was discovered tina,
very important parsonage was missing
| the groom.
Mr.. Williamson'was nowhere TO be found
Messengers were sent to his house; he wat
not there, and after an hour passed and still
no sign Of him, the best man, accompanied
by another intimate friend of the missing
man, went In search Of him In a cab. Aftel
vainly inquiring at several OIL his regula
haunts they drove to his office in Banl
| street.
Here they found him sitting all alone i
the gloomy, dusty little den, attired In hi
wedding suit, his knees trembling and hi
brow overcast. He was nearly scared Il
death.
Don't talk to me. can never face al
those people,n was the only reply he woul
make to all the Arguments of his friends
And lie had his way. After an hour sper
In pleading with the obstinate man ther
was nothing left for his friends TO do but {
guests dismissed, giving the best excus
they could devise. The bride was nearl
distracted for day or SO, but she was 800
brought TO a realization of the ridiculor
side Of the matter. The engagement wa
of course, broken OF, and this is why til
millionaire philanthropist was never ma
rled.
The lady is still living and is highly r,
spected by large circle of acquaintance
She figured for years in society and twent
years ago was one of the universally a
knowledged bellies of the city,-[Philade