Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1889-10-30
WHAT THE HUMORISTS SAY.

latlon."
FASHION NoTE-Light shades in post
masters are in popular demand through
out the South Chicago NeaUs.
DRUGGIST awakened at A. MI
"Well, what is ?" Customer-''It's a
boy. Get up. "-New York San.
DESTRUCTIVE TO BUSINESS "Oh, live
and let live, my man." Eyes, I'd look
nice, wouldn't l :? I'm butcher. -
Time.
Mr.. Tor HEAvY-"Will you share my
lot, Penelope?" Penelope-"Yes, if
there is brown etone front on it."-Er-
change.
DEBRussHE-"Yes, I m fairly in love
With my work" Sinnick-"L Lucky
lover! You'll never have rival. -
Exchange.
THERE are people who invoke the aid
of courts as If justice were a dog to be
whistled for and set on an enemy. They
are left.-Picnyane.
"CAN you substantiate that statement"
asked lawyer OF colored witness.
Dunno about dat, boss, but l kin prove
all l said. "-Epoch.
FRED-"Come, it's past time to get
up" Tom-"It may be past time Tor
you, old fellow, but [ consider it deuced
nara work. -ECcBQ7lge.
JIMMY PRYER-"Papa, what is sun
American p" Mr.. Pryer-"Anything
the foreigners in this country don't
Ike. Philadelphia Democrat.
ALL contractors do not live within
their means, but most people who live
within their means are the biggest kind
of contradictory onkers Statesman.
WIFE Cat midnight) is a shame
for you to keep ma up this way"
Hubby "Pshaw, my dear! She didn't
mind it before we were married. Life.
"YoU seem at home here" remarked
man at the post-Otfice to the post
master. EYES," replied the latter,
This is my stamping ground. Epoch.
CONTRARY world, this. ALI Bellamv's
good luck rose from his Looking Back
ward,' while Lot became a widower
from the same cause.-St Paul Pioneer
Press.
TIGHT collars are said to be the cause
of near-sightedness. 1t is we'll to re-
frequently able to see double. Boston
Transcript.
KEENE-"There' trouble bre ewing for
How 500" Keene-"Because the
Englishmen are buying up all the brew
cries. Exchange.
SooTcHMAN-"You are familiar with
Burns, of course ?' Chicago girl
"Well, L reckon so. l stepped with my
bare feet on a parlor match last night
NeU York journal.
THE popular WILL" says dispatch
from Honolulu, is strongly in favor of
annexation to the United States"
Where there's will there's Hawaii
Philadelphia Ledger.
low, that your relatives will try to break
your will when you are dead ?" Supple
mo danger, my boy. My will was
broken long aeo-by my wife's mother"
Laurence american. Q
Mrs. WALKER-"Here is an article
headed, How to Anticipate the Wealth
err Shall l read it ?" MI. Walker
"Is it by the signal service man ?"
Mrs. Walker-"No." Mr.. Walker
Eyes; read it."-Puck.
NEPHEW (trying to make good i'm
pressionl-' Uncle, this port is excel
lent" Uncle-"Well. I should think
so; it is fifty years old" Nephew-"By
Jove, you don't say so What superb
wine it must have been once. Life.
BRowN-"DeGrow looks very poorly,
don't he ? He has not many years to
live, | fear" Jones-"He won't live
six months, and you can bet on it. I've
said SO for the last three years, and [
know what I'm talking about. "-Epoch.
AMATEUR PHoToGRAPHER-"I've got
her negative, old man." Trippodde-
Il thought you told me she wouldn't sit
for her picture" Amateur photogra-
pher-"1 asked her to sit with me
through life and she said No."-Er-
change.
ADA-"Were you not afraid during
that thunder and lightning storm :?
Elsie-"No; was with Mike, who was
lately discharged from the Third Ave-
nue. Railroad, and you know the electric
fluid never strikes a non-conductor.-
Epoch.
SMALL BoY-'I saw my sister kiss
your photograph" Smith (delighted)
when, oh when?" Small boy
"Y Yesterday; she kissed it on the other
side where Charlie Smith had written a
few insulting lines to your memory
Exchange.
OLD MAN Cat the head of the stairs at
2:30 A. M.)-"Susie. what time is it ?"
Susie with second look at Reginald,
who loosens his grip)-"A few minutes
past 10, papa" Old man-Don't forget
W otdIC VIC ClOCK again when you go TO
bed .-Wasp.
Miss PENELOPE PEACHBLow-"Cousin
Tom has just come back from college,"
III. Pemberton Wyatt-''Aw, I suppose
your governor will want to kill the fat
ted Cal - Miss Penelope Peachblow-
eyes, but don't go away on that ac-
count. Life.
"YoU see. have some reputation as
a painter. Even the bank director,
kripfer, has ordered his portrait from
me-" ''Sly old fellow! When he runs
away and they send out his likeness
from your picture he knows he will be
perfectly safe. "-FHegende Batter.
FIRST BROOKLYN MAN ION street carr
You haven't lived in Brooklyn long,
have your" Second Brooklyn man.
"No; only few weeks. How did you
know" First Brooklyn mani no.
ticed that when you said you lived In
Brooklyn, you biushed. "-New York
Weekly.
PRETTY girl,
summer night
Impassioned fellow.
gentle word.
A solemn vow,