Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-26

uxeQ nlS broken Oonee
To fnd he was the father OF child;
So to celebrate it right his friends he did in
And Ss soon was drinking whisky fast ani
wild.
Then he waddled down the street in his sunda.
suit so neat
Holding up his head as proud as John th'
Great,
But in the sidewalk was hole to receive tOr
That Mcainty never saw till just too late.
DAMS THRILLING ADVENTURE.
Any man who does not celebrate the birtl
of his first child in some way or other is 8
good person to watch when you have large
wash hung on the lines to dry. Dan Nc
Ginty, upon being presented with an eight
pound son, invited coterie of friends to his
home, and treated them in manner thor
oughly in keeping with the occasion. They
had right royal time of it, and at broad
daylight MeGinty, gallant that he was, Of
tered to accompany Miss Anita Casey as far
| as avenue A.
In returning. Mac walked through Twenty
third street. and his frienus who saw him
say that hetried to walk on both sides of
that broad thoroughfare at the same time.
One thing is certain-coal holes ought to be
abolished. If they can't get the coal into
their houses in any other way, slide 1t in
| through the windows or shovel it on the
roof, but do away with the coal hole at all
hazards. 1t is a menace to public safety.
Dams case ought to be sufficient evidence of
this ~
On this eventful morning careless driver
opened a coal-hole near the curb and
pulled the trigger on Che back of the wagon
just as Dan fell through the opening. He
didn't see the hole, or instinct would have
prompted him to step aside. He went down
and SO did the coal Fortunately he had
done good deal of courting over coal
hole when the then Miss O'Brien was en-
ployed in the capacity of third cook at
Fifth avenue mansion, and naturally he
felt more at home under the circumstances
than the majority of men would. When his
friends finally dragged him out of the vault
he was naturally wrathy. A man who
wouldn't have at least made an attempt to
thrash that driver doesn't deserve the name.
A DOSE OF JUDICIAL MEDICINE.
McGinty heaped or rather threw Goals at
his thick head, not Goals Of fire to be sure,
but pieces of anthracite of che size known
as CRATE. The driver took umbrage at this,
and declared that he was not fond of practi-
cal jokes A policeman marched Dan off
to court. The driver followed and smiled
hollow and inaudible smile. If this police
man, who was rarely on the spot when he
was wanted, had arrested the really guilty
man, it is to be presumed that he would
have been removed from the force. That vir-
tue is not its own reward is proven beyond
all doubt by the fact that this same police
man is now roundsman, and expects soon
to be made sergeant. It must be admitted
that Mac looked like anything but an Amer
ican citizen as he stood before the bar of
He was covered With Coal dnst and his
best suit was comnleteiy wrecked bnt this
was no reason for noIice instice tn con-
denim him IN s;r montbss ;m1r;sonmsot a.
the ;sland Was tha ,,Ia;n stst..n,ant of =
1oIicen1en ~ tba efTact tbot a r,on Le5 49,,
5rinEinc r,ixed .Ie md crea+;nr /. d;s,n~I.
ance' snf;cient evidence n mt h;n' in
nr;So,9
Tsa American cit;,en 70 he d;ctstad 70 az
70 ,rba+ba- he sheii J-;sI la ~ 80, - io
~ mnes5er ne Shaii orlnA oio ale' ne" ale
McGintvss se,tsnos ne, ost rnin,+
one Ths sta+snsn+ th.. IrJoa Dng.;r,
Tosed th;s ;nhnI.a N-,aS -rn;sLnsert - -
Tnan ;s roIIa;as III ~. " ..N; pGoA
trate's judicial ability, and some of his old
enemies in the First Assembly district are
an ;dsa Of FIN ;ninr;nS tSs I 'T Tnd9e i1e ' ~ eual
az AuS" Va AuyWns VIC 0uuse' nc cur
Pnstically oenlea II yesterday TO a reporter
and pron0unces it q malicious lie,
"I have never sentenced man in NV life
unon such fiimsv evidence said tbe iittle
Tr5-a GGo.d - =; Iii t.LfI
= uu, 4nu eau say IN al uutnluI-
we'll, never was arraigned before me. I !
think his sentence was an uuiust and cruel
me and the Jndoe vbo ;mnossd Il should
bs taIen 70 tssk 80 - ''O''N - 0AOuiU
'e - AeH " 'AsA-
DATA FOR ANOTHER VERSE.
-. "a ,a $50 ~ : PRISON celt Lot SIX
me snd rsssed h,,. La ..oa;.'od noA,1Syss
rom his wife nor IN fact Sr'eU fr0n anr ~ mo;u
me outer world Even the taiIor ,rbo ,,.da A. |
he sniff which the d-;yer Of tbs COL i-,,, oart
mined and N whom, non nos ;1Jnhtod - a.
never osve tbe ,oor Ie11o,r raM - - oSu, ho,
sending in his bill. Mac worried over b;s
rifs's Silence and oradToII,, Sss.eJ n,.a ..no
1nt;I he became J r,ers sbodo,r ofh;s mdI fo Smay
elf ---0 'O- - -
He counted the dov, b,rrs ond ,,nn4..
1ntiI tbe time ans ~ his raia.sn u ~ I've
he man who wrote of him concludes:
iaii '--''' anu p"-'' O',e tA'y so' OUT OIL
And with joy to see his boy was nearly wild:
To his home he quickly ran to meet his wife
mary ann,
uS cSiIe Sne eAippeu away anu LOOK along the
then he gave nm in despair and he wildly ,n,lad
his hair,
As he stood one day upon the river shore.
moving wen ne couldn't swim, he did fool
AlthongSby yvnlR Haler u, h. had rever .oo, h.t,,
NO $50 -'''e' 'oOA DeA0fe'
Down went McGinty to the bottom of the say.
And ne must be very wet
,n. ~, T .. .1sy t nsven Iouno MN yet,
before the brsaS o3 s rouho tne COCKS
Dressed in his best suit of clothes
=
Mrs. McGinty, upon learning the fate of
er llege lord after the coaLhole episode,
iralghtway sent for O'Hare, her first love,
nd Terry advised her to send to Chicago
'r divorce. She sent, and while poor
ban was diving by inches within the white