Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1889-12-22
81 have just come up from Benicia," said

Carey car at the depot few days ago.
Been down to see the effects of the flood"
What, at Benicia?'
"Oh, no; went down on the steamer this
morning. and came back by train. You
had it all right in the RECORD UNION, in
last Saturdays paper. There is not much
more to be added to that account, except
that as the tules are filling up the water at
Walnut Grove is good deal higher in Old
river than your reporter found it."
ANY thing special you think Off"
mo. Hold on; yes, there was-I laughed
so; well, I'll tell you as soon as we get out
of this COMPOUNDED racket here at the de-
pot.
you see, on the steamer were a lot of
river pilots going down to take observa-
tons. When we got to the mouth of the
Sacramento one of the pilots drew me over
to the group and said he had a curiosity to
show me-and it was daisy =
"What was ?"
why lighthouse. Did you know the
United States Government maintains a
lighthouse at the mouth of the Sacramento
river ?"
No, nor does anyone else"
'Oh, yes, the pilots do. There it stands
on the right-hand side, few miles below
Rio Vista. | tell you the people ought to
be grateful to Uncle Samuel for his splen-
did liberality in erecting and maintaining
the thing. The chap that is light-keeper
must have a good thing of it, too. 1t is
simply a piece of twelve-foot scantliDg,
stuck up in the marsh. At the top an arm,
four or five feet long, sticks out like gal
lows tree. To the end of this is dashed a
pulley, and through il runs a bed cord.
You see, said the pilot, and all his COM
ranions grinned concurrence, this is the
chief ravigable river of the great State OF
California, so the Government thought
something handsome ought to be done for
it. Accordingly, it went to the expense OF
erecting this superb structure. Oh, don't
be incredulous. 1t is regularly entered
registered and inspected light. A chap
comes out here in boat every evening and
rams two-bit lantern up chock a-block,
and there's your light
Your j2shing,' said l.
" Not Bit replied the pilot.
"'Well, how is it that
"'Stop there said another of the pilots
There is no I'll nor but" in the case. That
is the provision Uncle Sam, God bless him,
makes for the safe navigation of this broad
stretch of water, for the river is here more
than a mile in width, and it's not all chan
mel by long shot
"'Oh, it's a good one, broke in another
of the group. You see, sir, that when it is
so mUggy we need shore light as o guide,
we can't see the cussed thing at all; when
it is clear weather we don't need it-so
there you have it in a nutshell
We'll gszed at the lighthouse as long
as l could see the gaunt arm sticking out
over the water, and then fell to musing-
for it happens that was in the lighthouse
service once, in a sort of a way; l was Pur-
ser or Captains Clerk on the Lighthouse
Inspectors boat up coast. 1 thought that
for the Insignificant sum OF five thousand
dollars, or less perhaps, the Government
could sink half dozen iron cased piles
into the marsh land, and ON top, at hight
of say thirty or thirty five feet, put a small
corrugated iron light-keeper's box. with q
good white, steady light for the additional
sum of one thousand dollars, or flash
light for five hundred more. Then the
keeper could whenever needed, lower a
bug-light' to the waters edge. Anyhow,
for six thousand dollars l will take the
contract to put decent lighthouse and
light at the mouth of the Sacramento
river. Uncle Sam has queer ways of doing,
however. Some day, for want OF decent
light at the place referred to, there may be
terrible accident and great loss of life,
and then you tell me who will be to
blame? By, by; get off here. Say, don't
give my name if you please, if you tell
the story, it isn'tnecessary-the light house
is there to speak for ITSELF"
George Watson, Coroner Clark's able as
sistant at the Morgue, has the reputation
of being an irrepressible practical joker.
His latest victim is Louis Me,er, the
hackman.
1t happened on the first day that the sun
showed itself after the storm. Wat" as
the Morgue assistant is familiarly called by
his acquaintance, took advantage of the
change in the weather and went out for q
ride on the cars. He was wrapped up in
deep contemplation of the beauties of ma
lure, and was picture of peace and con.
tentment. Suddenly be was rudely aroused
Meyer, who had just boarded the car:
Hello, Wat
"Hello, yourself"
Meyer came over and took seat beside
his friend aud began to grumble about the
mud and hard times. He bewailed The
fact that he had only earned $500 during the
past week, and announced his intention of
setk king pastures new if things didn't
brighten up pretty soon.
81 tell you what it is, Wat" whined
Meyer, Il m goin' to give up hack driving.
There's nuthin' in it ike there used to was.
I'd like to get new job-something easy,
of course, bat at the same time, somethin'
whatll pay good money"
Are you in earnest about it?" asked
Watson, looking as serious as Judge.
Course l am" quickly replied The dis
contented hackman. $40 you know of a
job for me, Wat?'
Yes, sir; I've got just the thing your are
looking for"
"Bully!'
How would you like to be a hunter?"
Wouldn't want nuthin' better" and the
hackman clapped his hands with glee.
"All right then; just get out your shot
gun tomorrow ard go out into the country
and shoot all the owls you can. "I'll give
you six bits for every owl gizzard you bring
me-"
six bits do you mean it?''
"Of course do. Why shouldn't |? | can
get dollar piece for them. Will you do
it?"
You bet 1 will. Wat, give me your
hand. You're the best friend I've got in
Well, he went out next day, sure enough.
And on the day after he marched into the
morgue with dozen dead owls. There
you are Wat" he said joyfllly. as be threw
the bundle of carcasses down. Mine dol
lars. if you please"
"Oh, no." said the joker, II don't want
the bodies; only want the gizzards You
have to stick to the agreement, or no
Take them around to poultry
dealer and get them cut Open"
Meyer did SO. He told the poultry man
what he wanted, and the latter broke into
a wild hysterical fl of laughter.
Whats the matter with your asked
Meyer, in all seriousness.
why. you IDIOT gasped the fowl
dealer between his spasms of laughter,
don't you know that owls haven't got any
gizzards? Ha ha! hs y aud the poor man
bad to hold his sides for fear they would
burst.
Meyer didn't laugh bit. He immedi-
ately reloaded his shot gun and marched to
the Morgue. He has been lying in ambush
in that vicinity ever since.
Paul Jones. well-known amateur ath-
lete of San Francisco, and member of the
and California Clubs. stopped for