Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-04-26
PITH AND POINT.

A cheap way to lay in coal-Slecp in
the coal bin. Boston Courier.
Hindoo god doesn't have to work
Tor living. llo is an idol person.
The most accurate weather report is
the thunder clap. Boston Bulletin.
man is like q drum in that he isn't
OF much good after his head is busted
Drus0iUo Lr.cze
Most butchers, no matte, hpw thin a
beast may be, make both onds meat
Man:apo'i, Ir,6m &c.
Tho promising young men of COM
munity are no better than tho paying
80 ing mcn.-Picayu ie.
He-"1 have always studied your
comfort" She--.''rhen you have been
dull scholar. "-New YvrS Sun.
A Scotch graveligger once said:
"Tradc's very dull the moo. haen O
buried levin cratur for three weeks"
"Eat with Judgment" says a learned
phys:c an. Most people. however, will
Continue to use Their Jaws. Do ton Po {.
.'ulius-"Oh. if you only loved me as
warmly as l do you" Nellie-"We
would both be cremuted, fear"
IT'S said Loves blind, and cannot see
JUST WncfO MS GnrtS 10 aim
Ills noticed, though, that spite of this,
Love gets there just the same.
Occasionally Boston woman conde-
sends to run Il sewing mach.n ne, but you
may be sure she uses nothing but refined
oil.
If building catches fire in its upper
story it may burn down. II it takes fire
in the basement it may burn up.-Pica-
yune.
Customer in Bauk-"Is the cashier
outf" Clerk-"No sir. Tie won't be
out for about nine years. " Washington
Critic.
Paradoxical as it may seem, they say
that Chlcago's oldest settler never paid
bill in his life without being sued
SomcrUilie Journal.
Gan old motto is: "Start your boys
on the right track" That's easier said
than done; it requires too much switch
ing in some ca .os.-Lya.
Miss I.ovclorn-''Do you think wear
ing veil will preserve my complexion"
Miss Caustic-"Ycs; keep it from being
blown away."-Nao X0rk Sun.
Yes, young woman possessed of a
million certainly has good figure, and
the young man who lives on Washington
Square has plcasing addrcss.-Blsar.
Take her arm tenderly,
Hold it with care,
Remember ths dread
Vaccination is there.
Merchant 7rnueler.
"Judgc-"lf got as intoxicated as
you do. Id shoot myself" Prisoner
"If you was g tossicated | am, you
could't hitter barn door, DrlEe's
Maga:ine.
The latest case of absence of mind is
that of young lady, who, upon return.
ing from q walk with her lover, rapped
him on the face aud Lade good night to
the door.
Unfortunate Skatcr-"Help! Help"
Party on ank-"Hold oni Hold on
I'll run right home and get my book on
'How to Hesusciate tho crowned and
Relieve the Frost Bittcn.'"
The man who was aught carrying
away the planks of tho sidewalk for
tirewood excused himself On the ground
that his doctor had ordered him to take
walk every day.-Bos'on Courier.
A Boston man purchased bit of
court-plaster Tor his nose and q ostage
stamp for Il letter. He then place the
Vu tllC tcCtcT, HlH XOI the
s'amp to his nose aud tried to crawl into
the letter DO ;.-Dra&e'J .haya.ino.
A young man in Harlem who bought
witch on the instalmcnt plan thinks
he has got the best OF tho agent. His
new watch makes twenty-five hours o
day, and he therefore gets one more hour
than he paid for-and time is money!
Ne,0 YORK. Mcus.
Mr.. Scrbbloburst--" IIave you seen
my last booki It's tho best thing I've
done" Miss Downer-" o, l haven't
seen it, but I've heard nothing but good
of it SO far" MIR. S. delightfully."-
Whom have you heard speak of it2"
Miss D.-"Nobody but you.
Aunt with tile girD-"Do you take
children, madum." landlady-",ih,
yes, ma'am; we love children; the fam
lily on the third floor have five on the
Sc ond floor there are seven, and we have
three of our own. You needn't feel any
hesitan y on that score" Applicant
HIM. yes. think 1 will look little
further, madam. "-HarpC,'s B.zar.