davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
The Fiddlers of Cumberland Island.

A.Cumberland correspondent thus de-
scribes the iddlers of that island: "After
fishing my attention was attracted by On
army of fddlers in the sand. Oh, such
funny little folks are the fddlers! They
are peaceful set, too, and in all the
droves and droves that I saw marching
about on the sands by the inlet I saw only
two who were disorderly. They fought
q little, but not for long, and the de-.
feated fellow crawled into his hole, and
the army moved on. A fiddler looks like
q very small crab. Some are blue, others
are red and brown, and there are black
and gray. Some have no claws, and
others have a great white claw like o
crab, which they seem to eptime with.
They are the drum majors. A fiddler
never turns to run. They run backward,
to the front and sideways without moving
their bodies. They have little holes all
over the sand that reach to-we1, don't
know, for got stick and dug and dug
until got tired, and I never did find the
bottom. They have curious little way
of making noise like smacking the lips,
and it sounds sometimes as though lot
of folks were kissing. g."-saSannah Ne'os'
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
"Put All on der Living Chance"

He was only o stable boy, as hardened
and unholy as they make them, yet he
was an immense favorite with patron
and proprietor alike at the Monmouth
track, and especially with his. fellows of
the Morris stables. Recently stricken
with very grievous disease, his ply
sician told him that medicine and
science could do nothing more for him.
While quickly realizing that he was fast
covering the homestretch of life, with
the death wire, as it were, plainly visible,
the ruling passion in the confding and
always courageous youth thus betrayed
itself:
"What's my chances, Doc9"
ssNot worth mentioning, my boy"
zone in twenty, you s'pose9"
ooh, no."
.s'In thirtyl"
emo"
"Fifty, thens"
s'I think not"
ga hundred2" ..
"W-well, perhaps there might be one
in a hundredl"
sI say, then, Doc," pulling the medi-
cine man close down to him and whisper
ing with feeble earnestness in his ear,
just you go in, do yer best, and put every
thing on der one living chance. "-Nep
York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
THE TYPOS REVENGE,

Jack ROBERTS tells a funny yarn about
che rules of printing offices. 1t had been
posted on the bulletin board of New
York morning paper to invariably put
The time of day in figures. This was
done to secure uniformity. Jack had de-
parted from the rule once and been ad-
monished by the foreman. He said it
would never happen again. The next
night an editor, in reading over the proof
of an article, thought to improve it by
inserting the we'll known line of
poetry
sheet me in the lane, love, at half-past
nine"
Well, the proof was passed over to
Jack for him to correct and this is how
It appeared the next morning:
Meet me in the lane love, at $50 P. NJ.
There was vacancy in the office next
day.-New Fork Mercury.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
SAYS, Saids and That's.

, In thirty-one words how many that's
can be dramatically inserted7 Answer:
Fourteen. He said that that that that
man said was not that that that one
should say; but that that that that man
said, was that that that man should not
say. That reminds us of the following
says and saids: Mr.. B., did you say, or
did you not say, what I saida because
G. said you said you never did say what
said you said. Now, if you did say
that you did not say what said you
said, then what did you saya- Chicago
america.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
A Whole Family Of Comets.

Professor E. 8. Holden writes from the
Lick Observatory in California that the
comet recently discovered by Mr.. Brooks,
of Geneva, N. Y, has been regularly OBJ
served at the Lick Observatory by Mr..
Barnard. He found the comet attended
by two objects, and his observation
showed them to be companion comets.
One of them had a decided tail. "Be-
sides the three comets mentioned, there
are four objects near, which are probably
members of the same family. This phe-
nomenon is rare one, though it has been
observed before"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
EXTRACTED OR COMB HONEY.

The greatest yield of honey can be OBJ
tanned by extracting, as it can be ex-
tracted from the combs without awaiting
their sealing up. 1t seems to take the
bees about as long to seal over the combs
as to fill them with honey. We can,
therefore, get double the number Of
pounds of extracted honey that we can
Of comb. Beside keeping the combs
emptied of their contents, there is the
additional advantage of keeping the bees
working right along filling the combs.
Bees thus treated are not so liable to
swarm, as they have at oil times abun-
dance of room for storing honey. 1t is
true we may give them large surplus
room, but when this is filed with comb
honey it is not completed. Several days
are necessary to ripen the honey and seal
the cells. With limited storage they
make preparations to swarm, and then
plentiful storage room will not prevent it.
Of the two methods of producing honey,
comb and extracted, the latter does not
require more than half the labor. 1t has
been said that extracted honey does not
bring as high a price. But in the ma
jority of cases the apiarist is making
more money from extracted honey, be-
cause he is producing three or more
pounds to one. True, there are a few
Specialists who make the raising of comb
honey a study, and those probably re-
ceive the greatest profits. But the masses
ind much difficulty in producing comb
honey, when they can easily produce
large crops of extracted. To succeed
properly in raising profitable crops of
honey requires the greatest skill and study
of anything connected with the apiary.
It is beginning at the wrong end to raise
comb honey first, instead of the more
simple and easy method Of using the ex-
tractor.-American Agriculturist.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
THEY WEIGHED MIR. FRESH.

A very fresh young man has been hang
ing around Fulton Market of late. He
has made the boys very tired these
frightfully hot days. He is quite joker
in his way. He likes to stop market
man who has quarter section of Texas
steer on his back and say:
That's great trick, isn't it2"
"What trick2' asks the marketman.
Then the fresh young man, with a
tantalizing smirk on his face, answers;
"Patrick."
Yesterday afternoon Mr.. Fresh amused
himself by going around boasting about
his weight.
"I'll bet you don't weigh more than
130 pounds" remarked one of the boys.
"WhatW you bet I don't9" inquired
Mr. Fresh, who really tipped the scales
at twenty pounds more than that, and
who was tickled to death to have 9
chance to make little sure money.
"rn bet you ST." said the market
boy.
III hear you talk, replied Mr.. Fresh,
putting the bone in bystander's hand.
sLet's 90 over to the ferry house."
"Pshaw!" exclaimed the market boy.
IT wouldn't bet q cent on those nickel
machines. If you win my money you'll
have to get it on the square,"
ssBut there are no scales around here, !"
argued MIR. Fresh.
"That's all right, young fellow, "
spoke up strapping big marketman,
who thought nothing of putting whole
carcass on his back. 'Just leave it to
me and I'll weigh you. I lift so many
quarters every day I can tell your weight
to a pound. Let me catch hold Of your
hands and raise you of the floor" :.
As the market boy was perfectly will
ing to settle the bet in this way, Mr..
Fresh consented. The human scales
turned his back toward MIR. Fresh and
reached out his hands behind him. He
steadied himself moment, and, secur-
ing firm hold on Mr. Fresh's wrists,
had him spread out on his back in mo-
ment.
Just when Mr.. Fresh felt that he had
been held there long enough to ascertain
his weight whistle was heard, and a
score of market boys, all armed with bar
rel slaves, swarmed around the scene.
Each raised his stave in the air, and as
the human scales bent his back and gave
his live burden the proper tension, there
was sound of dull, sickening thuds,
mingled with series of shrieks, the like
of which had never been heard in the
market since the day of its construction.
When Mr.. Fresh once more touched
terra frma the slaves and their wielders
had disappeared as mysteriously as they
came, and nothing but suppressed roars
of laughter gave evidence that the hooks
and crannies served as hiding places for
lot of frolickers.
With tears in his eyes and his clothes
we'll busted, Mr.. Fresh sneaked away,
without as much as asking for his share
of the stakes.-NeU York. Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
A NICE SENSE OF HONOR.

It is extremely refreshing to notice tho
fine sense of honor possessed by some OF
Che rising generation in Virginia City,
says the Virginia City Chronicle. Last
evening two youths, each aged about
fourteen, met in the street when the fol-
lowing dialogue took place:
: IL say, Bill, you got my knifes"
ssNo, I amt"
t'Pon your word2"
"'Pon me word" ,..
!nPon your soul7"
't'Pon me SOUL" .. ..-...s
"Hope you may die if you havea"
ssHope ] may die If ] have" /" &
"You amt got my knifein as 3
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
FARM AND GARDEN NOTES.

Arrange to avoid land washing as
much as possible. ....
Ducks when properly handled pay
even better than chickens.
When you wean the lambs give them
rich grass or clover pasture.
The farmer is harvesting his wheat
and oats. The hens will help him clean
up stray grain.
Land plaster is a cheap absorbent,
and renders the stable much purer and
the manure much more valuable.
Lice and kerosene oil fail to harmon
ize. If you notice the former apply the
latter vigorously over. roosts and nests.
There is no advantage in sowing the
seed unless there is sufficient moisture In
the soil to induce quick termination.
Get ready for early lambs. Oxford OF
Southdown make a good cross. What
ever breed you use, it will pay to use
pure bred ram.
A seed bed three inches deep, made
thoroughly fine, will be much better
than six inches of loose soil not thor
oughly prepared.
Incubators are now made so perfect
that even the hens look on them with
wonder and amazement. Pretty hard to
lose ones trade, isn't it.
The time for sowing must be de-
termined by the season, the condition
of the soil, and the danger from grass
hoppers, flies and chinch bugs.
Do not invest too largely in new, un-
tried varieties. There is no harm in test
ing them on a small scale, but use
standard variety for the main crop.
Be sure that the seed wheat does not
contain cheat, rye, cookie, or other fine
seeds. There IS usually sufficient
quantity in the soil without sowing.
The custom followed by great many
farmers of using spring pig in November
and December to sire their next spring
crop of pigs is not to be commended.
The day of stockers, kept on the farm
as such, is gone by, or at least should be;
from the teat to the shambles every pig
should be considered fattening animal.
To produce good wool, the sheep must
have the proper food. There is no better
hay than clover for sheep, and no better
grain than oats and bran with little oil
meal.
Poultry culture is one of the most
healthy employments that any one can
be engaged in. If you want exercise
and pleasure combined, try flock of nice
fowls.
The quantity of seed should be gauged
by the time of sowing, the fertility and
condition of the soil and the quality OF
the seed used, as well as the way it IS
sown.
Corn land that has been well cultiva-
ted during the growing season can often
be properly fitted for wheat without
pIowing, if care be taken to harrow
thoroughly.
Owners of horses and cattle are realiz-
ing more than ever before the necessity
of keeping their stalls clean and healthy.
Land plaster makes one of the very best
absorbents.
Don't forget the calves during hot
weather. They would like the privilege
of having a drink of water once in
while through the day, as well as milk
night and morning.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28

or tenon in crosswise, one piece at each
end, and eight inches from the ends of
the runners, and place the others so as to
support floor in one-half of the pen.
Adjust these strips so they will set about
two inches below the level of the upper
edge of the runners, then lay floor OF
ash or oak lumber one inch thick over
one-half of the pen, leaving the other
half a dirt floor. This, however, may be
arranged as may suit best; one-half may
be left, or, if desirable, the whole pen
may have floor. Now mortise in two
by-four scantling at each corner and mid
way for posts on which to nail the boards
or Stats for the enclosing. It is necessary
for comfort that at least one-half of the
pen be covered; and for this reason make
the posts for the siding about one foot
longer on one side than the other, so as
to give some slope to the roof. The roof
ought to be elevated enough to allow q
man to walk under it. If only one-half
of the pen is floored, there must be a
partition across, and in this arrange a
Slide door so as to shut the hogs in or
out of either section, and the pen is
complete.
If hogs are wanted to fatten surely
and quickly, they must be confined to
close, clean quarters, and that is the de-
sign of this pen. 1t can be moved easily
from one place to another, and thus be
entirely free from accumulations of filth.
By hitching a span of horses to the end
of it, it can be readily moved anywhere
with the hogs in it. In case one-half is
left unhoored, the hogs can be shut in
the foored portion, and kept there until
the pen is moved; then open the slide
door and they are in their new location.
american AgricuHwrist.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
A HANDKERCHIEF SPECIALIST.

The other morning, as the departing
Cunard steamship was casting off its lines
and swinging out into the stream, an el-
derly-looking business man hastily en-
braced lady who was one OF the passen-
gers, and rushed down the gang plank to
the wharf.
Going hurriedly up to a melanchoiy
loafer Who was watching the busy crowd,
the gentleman drew him behind pile OF
freight, and said:
sWant to earn dollar2"
"You bet."
"You see that lady in black on the
bridge therc?" said the citizen.
"Cert."
"Well, that's my wife, going to Eu-
rope. Now, of course, she'll expect me
to stand here for the next twenty min
utes, while the steamship is backing and
filing around, so as to wave my band
kerchief and watch her out of sight.
Sce2"
II ketch on, boss"
"Well, I'm too busy to fool around
here; stock to buy, biz to attend to.
She's a little near-sighted; so I'll just
hire YOU to wave this handkerchief, in
stead. It's a big one, with red border,
and as long as she sees it she'll think it's
me. Come up to 2O2 Wall street when
they are well off and I'll pay YOU"
sS'posin' she looks through teles-
scope, or suthin'2"
"In that case you'll have to bury your
face in the handkerchief, and do the great
weep act"
s'That'n be fifty cents extra"
Gail right. Time is money. Look
sharp now! You can kiss your hand a
few times at, say, one dime per kiss" and
Swapping his watch the overdriven busi-
ness man rushed off.
We print this affecting little incident
to call attention to the fact that the man
thus employed has gone into the business
regularly. He is now professional fare
weller, and business men and others can
save valuable time, and yet give their de-
parting relatives an enthusiastic send-of
by applying to the above specialist any
steamship day. Go early to avoid the
rush.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
HORSES TEETH NEED CARE.

Horses teeth, from the day of foaling
to tottering old age receive by far too
little attention. Many foals give up quite
discouraged, because they cannot pro-
duce sufficient suction to cause flow of
milk, and this from the fact that their
.nippers are not yet through and their
gums are consequently too tender to bear
the pressure. Lancing, or generally,
simply passing the thumb across the
gums with sufficient pressure to cause
Slight abrasion is enough to set matters
rieht.-National Horse Breeder.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
Origin Of Washington's Sobriquet.

The appellation 1.-The City of Mag
nifcent Distances" as applied to Wash
ington, is said to have come from John
Randol ph. In an early day, when the
department buildings, Capitol and White
House, widely separated, constituted
even more than now the chief points of
attraction and business, Randolph re-
marked that it was ''a city of splendid
poverty and magnificent distances.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
ttJ amt got your knife.

The queerist seemed to be incredulous,
but was on the point of giving it up In
despair when a bright idea occurred to
him, and he returned to the attack with:
"'Pon your honor2"
"Oh," said the other, s'now you touch
me honor; take your. old knife" and be
handed the article over.
"Well DONE" said his chum; II allus
knowed you was honorable chap.
Wasp.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
A GOOD PORTABLE HOG PEN.

A cheap, convenient hog pen that is
portable is built as follows: Take two
pieces of good, durable timber, three by
nine inches each, fifteen feet in length,
round off the ends in the form of sled
runner, then lay them parallel eight feet
apart, with the rounded edge on the
ground. Take four scantlings and halYe
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
AGRICULTURAL.
TOPICS OF INTEREST RELATIVE
TO FARM AND GARDEN.
HENS CAN'T CHEW.

matter-of-fact writer advises poultry
raisers not to forget to remember that
all fowls between the ages of two days
and twenty -one years are without teeth,
and must be supplied with sand and
gravel in order to carry on the work OF
grinding the food. To relieve them of
this work by feeding them exclusively
on cooked food is to defeat one Of their
natural faculties, and to give them the
grain without the means of grinding it.,
is sure to result in disease.-NeD York
Witness.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
Frances army costs $1O5, GA, 655.
HaIfRate Excursions:

The Chicago & North Western Railway OF
fers exceptional opportunities for an inspec-
ton of the cheap lands and growing business
centers of Iowa, Minnesota, Nebraska, Wyom-
ing, North and South Dakota, Colorado and
the Far West and Northwest, by a series OF
Harvest Excursions, for which tickets Will be
sold at half rates, or one fare for the round
trip. Excursions leave Chicago, August 9Th
and Goth, September 10th and 24th, and octo-
Der sth For full particulars address E. P.
WILSON, General Passenger Agent Chicago &
North Western Railway. Chicago, Illinois.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
A VERY PROPER PRESUMPTION.

Bingly Visiting at the Hub 3D. sup
pose, Gerald, you will be glad when you
are old enough to wear suspendersa"
Gerald -four years old)-"Although
eutwardly have never displayed any
Aversion to appearing in the role of en-
fantterrible, yet presume that eventually
the article of wearing apparel you refer
to will be welcomed by me in much the
same manner in which it is received by
most youthful minds. ."-Clothitr and
EWrniaher.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
THE SMALL BOYS LOT.

Bobby-"Did your mother lick you
for drinking the milka"
II Little Johnnie-"Naw. I wouldn't
| CITY if I'd had the milk. She licked me
| for spilling it."-.Neao York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
q ONE ON THE DOCTOR.

Doctor-:sI see you turn in your toes.
Its very injurious practice. You should
place yourself under my treatment"
Merritt-s'If I did, I'm afraid I'd soon
turn them up."-Epoch.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28

At the Schuykill United States Ar
senal, near Philadelphia, there is manu-
factured each year s, 100000 rounds of
ammunition and 15,o00,000 of rife
balls. K =.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
AS NEAR AS THEY CAME.

: Bessie-s'I think the Jahlmars are
hreadfully shoddy. They're rich, but
I'm sure the family has no pedigree.
, Jennie-"No; but the old mans fast
horses haye."-Neso York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
NO COUNTERFEIT.

Blind Beggar displaying half dollar)
-"Ain't that sight for sore eyes"
Deaf and Dumb Partner-"Wen it is
got the true ring, amt ita"-Epoch.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
THE PRESENT STYLE.

+ Petted Daughter-"Papa, I would like
q little money. want to buy box of
fancy candies"
I; Indulgent Father-"An right, my
child. Here's quarter. What are you
waiting fors"
Petted Daughter-"For little more
money, papa. The twenty-five cents
will just buy the candy. want 81 now
to buy the box. ."-Chicago Tribune.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
PORTER AND PROPRIETOR.

Miss Inquizio Gin Maiden Lane store)
-"Who is that handsome gentleman
with the large diamond on his scarf, who
Is lifting the box2"
Z, Clerk-'That is our porter"
! "And who is the plain old fellow help
ing him2" --
i ooh, he's the proprietor. ."-7hs Je'0ez-
er's Wsekly.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
BETTER BE A BOY.

doctor, why is it that people are
generally so much more pleased with boy
babies than with girls"
{: 'sNothing simpler, madam. A boy
baby never comes miss"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
BIDDY'S EXCUSE.

Mrs. Badger-"How did you come to
break the saucer, Bridget?"
Bridget-"Shure, mum, you cracked
ityoursif wake ago, an whin Oh bit it
fall down stairs, O. curse it bruke. -
Neu York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28

One of the principal operations dur.
ing the British naval maneuvers is to be
an attempted forcing Of the Straits Of
Gibraltar. q
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
HARD TO PLEASE.

"Won't you let me have q few cents
till tomorrow, Charley2"
1% eyes; here is dime"
"Something larger, please"
&, stCertainly; hand back the dime and
take this two-cent piece"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
NEXT MoRNING.

{, Mrs. Guzzleton-ssYou're not q bit
superstitious, are you, John2"
Mr.. Guzzleton-'sWhy, no, my dear.
Why do you ask2"
Mrs. Guzzleton-"You came home last
night when the clock would have struck
rs, if it could !"-Neso York Neus.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-08-28
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.

HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
the Dapper scalper Crushed-No
Counterfeit-The Small Boys Lot
One on the Doctor-Bid-
dy's Excuse, Etc, Etc.
It was dapper scalper,
And he stoppeth one Of three;
Snow, by my haidome," he quoth,
'Pd like to sell to thee
A ticket through to Mexico,
Kalamazoo or Kokomo,
Kansas City or ST. Joe.
Or anywhere you wish to go.
Council Bluffs or Cherokee,
AIbukirk or Sanity Fee;
Give you written guarantee
That anything you buy of me
VIII carry you 0. K"
The stranger mutely fingered,
And with patient stare
Gazed mildly on that scalper
Who held him tightly there.
And when the fellow quit
To catch his breath bit
The stranger drew pad
In the quiet way he had,
And wrote across one end,
. 'srm deaf and dumb, my friend,
You would better save your breath
Or you'n talk yourself to death"
Then he threw away the slip,
And he lifted up his grip
And quietly walked away.
-ChicGoo Herald.