Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-06-06
A DREADFUL BLUNDER
Caused by a Brilliant Idea and a
Butchers Boy.


"Rcginald," said my uncle Jupp-a name
that always set my teeth on edge-''you are
fool: good looking one. il is true. but an
arrant fool. You have perfectly unequaled
facility for making mess of every thing
you are set to do, and therefore you must
take the only course which. so far as l can
see, will enable you to exist as good look
ing fool, and marry girl with money"
Mr.. Jupp made this fiattering speech in
his city counting house, when his clerks had
all disappeared for what they considered
worth calling dinner, and the eminent tai
low merchant was alone with his nephew.
Uncle Jupp had a shrewish wife and a
couple of children, a pOrtentiously ugly
pair, who, of course, would inherit his
money. He was not a bad sort of man,
though his brutal rudeness in addressing
me was invaria5le. His checks, however,
somewhat softened it. But he was of an
irritable temper, and of city notions. /, on
the contrary, was essentially only happy on
the sweet shady side of Pail Mall, having
West End tastes and prOclivities which
would have been tittingly mated with my
uncle's cash
you've tried Sandhurst; and were igno-
miniOusly plucked you never had brains
for the bar; you tried civil engineering, and
pretty premium paid Orbit q Wheeler
till at length they cancelled your articles as
you were demoraliZing the Office by your
idleness; you tried this Office, and made
nothing of the books but blots; you couldn't
even keep the secretaryship of the Picked
Onions Supply Associations nice little
thing which any duffer who could write
formal letter could have held Why, old
Mango, the Chairman, my old chum, said
even for me they couldn't any longer keep
a congenial idiot in the berth. Nobody
knows the bother you've been to me; you do
nothing but get into debt-except play bill
Hards-and even then you re always making
a hash oft"
Ny uncle kept on grumbling to himself as
he looked over his letters, and at last, turn
ing round on his stool, he eyed me for a mo-
ment frowningly. Then he began again.
and with an evident relish for his task
you'll have to live on that e10O year
your poor mother left you," Il shuddered)
''unless you can increase it. Ican't go on al
lowing you an income to fritter away. I've
many calls on my means" (the ordinary
formula of all extensively rich people,, land
I've paid a great deal of money for you
Master Reginald. You're lazy and extrava-
CANT, naturally, and by long practice mag
nificent blunderer. Indeed, if it be possible
TO make a null of any thing you're the man
to do it,"
Eyes" said my uncle as if he really liked
the taste of the words, you're lazy, stupid,
a spendthrift, a nincompoop and blunder-
er, and you certainly act, so far as have
seen, up to each of those characters most
consistently. But there is no doubt you are
good looking. Your father didn't give you
fol hn DIy,ff ,lA, Id
my poor sister, or she'd never have married
him, but he gave you a fine name'' Lester-
ley certainly sounds better than Jupp, when
you haven't banking account, that isl,
land he was handsome man, and you're,
as l said, handsome fool. Now that's
where your chance is. There are plenty of
plain girls with money who don't want a
husband with brains-a BARRIERS dummy
that could shipper as you do" offensive old
brute, even the prospect of loan hardly
compensated for this sort of personality;
'and. therefore, I'll once more do something
for you. But this is really the last time FL
lend you money enough TO cut good figure
at Cowes, where there are some moneyed
spinsters know, for my old friend Plum
has house there now he's retired. He'll
put you up to some good things. Never
mind age or lOoks-cash is the thing. Then
you'll be provided for. You require wife
to keep you; you never could keep WIFE
and you amt worth your salt at any sort of
occupation, unless it were as a shopwalker
and then you'd send the ladies to the wrong
departments. So do as tell you. go down
tomorrow, I'll give you the check for ex-
penses now" %. delightful wordsD Il
shall call at your lodgings tomorrow and |
pay your rent, tell your landlady, and any |
other debts. But remember, if you don't |
make hit now you needn't expect any
thing from me-"
Il shant, uncle, murmured, gratefully |
''Well, whether you do or don't. you won't |
get it, said he as ne took out his check |
book and proceeded to fill up leaf IF you |
can't get your nest feathered now, you can |
go featherlesS.r
With these touching words my uncle |
handed me the second check and nodding |
in sign of farewell, immersed himself in his |
correspondence. felt much relief as left /
the associations of tallow behind me, but |
not myself until q swift hanson had deposit
ed me at q well-knOwn restaurant in the |
strand, after cashing the check on the way
You are not to take all my savage uncle's |
rudenesses as correct. There were some |
things which / could do-and better than
most men. could waltz eXquisitely, and |
had Spanish facility for rolling cigar
cites.
dined as a gentleman should, and over a |
really indispensable bottle of Burgundy re- |
fected on my Cowes expedition. 1t seemed |
great pity that man with my personal |
gifts should be the victim of matrimony; |
but even that resource was better than ex- |
isting-If men can exist in the proper sense |
OF the word-on el00 year. And was in
debt It's all very well, but YOU can't ex- [
pect man of society to look at these things |
like a grubby man of business / had |
expensive tastes, and ought to have had Mr.. |
Jupp's money. He had none, except for |
vulgarly snowy furniture and old port. But /
had various ones, and, in fact, was not |
going TO stint myself in the cultivation of |
my refined tastes on account of mere sordid /
ngures. So, on the whole, fancied my
uncle's vulgar suggestions were worth con
sidering. No doubt such man as l could
easily marry money, but it must be a good
round sum. And ! must have a proper
amount settled on myself, and unrestrained |
liberty CT action and after ssch mar
rage, as there would be no need 70 cultivate |
him any more, 1 should most decidedly drop
the acquaintance of Mr.. Jupp and his family. |
Well, the programme fixed for the Eext