New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-02-25
TIE TAIN or TIE pr.

gentleman was arrested In this town dsz -
two ago for assault. His defence was that he h,d
merely defended himself from Of assailant who ~
threatened to kick lung out Of lin. "As amt ra
but one lung1 he further explained, I Ups and hiu
him in the rfbS On this showing the rb-hifter ver,
properlywa discharged Ever person Of spirit v1l
defend his lungs from those whose unamisble purpns
II is to kick them out Of thef accustomed place.
performance which is understood to be attended VITA
Inconvenience to the owner of the lungs. But wisa
man is so poorly of In lungs Is to have onl,
one, then Il becomes not only HIS right but the duty
nearest him to break as many ribs as may be necosiY
in protecting It from those that would Kick II out
At the recent Lincoln banluet there were two sur
prises Foraker said he wouldn't speak and dh sreak
the menu and Il wasn't there. Chairman cheats
regrets the latter failure 70 suck 70 the pfosfamna
and With a. an S IDEA hat fsrrspIn was something al
to drnk-Columbus Ohio Dispeecn'
An examination 10 the Public Schools:
Professor to pupil In which Of bis battles w
Gustayus Adolphus killed ?" t
Pupil, after reflection: 81 think 1t was IN his ~
battle.'
British medical statstis show that govt Is ran
Whlskey drinking countries ard c0WIloh IN Yea
drinking sections 1t is not fair test The says
whiskey drinker loses his mind and dies OF }lplz1p
before he has chance to enjoy the gout-'NeS-ohSn
Pfcayune ~
A little sx-year-old GIRL who was deeply interested
sacred history and geography at the same tine w
asked: sH
"what IS the meaning of God''
She replied:
"God IS pure spirit surrounded by watr on "a
sides.'
@what do you feed your white RABBIT Iomryr
inquired Mr.. BIldus, who had called 0 TAX pchra
WY The stubs Of papa's cigars was to reply,
aWhy doesn't tobacco make the re0t s sIIass m
who said anything about tobacco guess you
Just then Tommys father apppes r1s, s aay:
but the best and YOU can depend on these
Thank you said Blldas. ceDly sT mol,I proml Sm
threatened Tn with paralysis you snow.'-(chicsss
News.
sThe Boston Transcript tells bis story about
a small colored boy OF religious Urn OF mind. he
wanted jack-knife very much, I'D was overheard
one night praying for very earrstiy. His master
went to town next day. and on his return 10 no
evening there was jack knife laid On the boys
window The boy discovered te knife promptly
enough in tho morning, cxaminedit eagerly, and e1'
claimed softly. with an afr Of condemnation OF MS
own stupidity, "Why didn't pay for two'Diaded
one7n
Captain Lemon has charge Of he sale OF tickets for
the inaugural Ball. That affair could rot get along
without little Lemon aid. u seems--triuspog
Chronicle
staaI salaries I'm this way Tie salaries of ministers
IN the large parishes equal whre they do not exeed
the salaries of Justices Of the supreme Courts tho
states and OF the United Safes. The salaries Of
ministers I'M that very large dd Of secondary parishes
e1ual II they do not exceed, he salaries OF professors
IN the larger colleges The salary Of the average
country minister 1--WE do not refer now to me hons
Missionary of the East Wet equals the income Oh
the average country Doctors
w-Yorker Ito friend)-Dd you read about tnss
young lady being robbed in broad dayhsht on 'A'n-
Friend-Yes I read about 1t.
singular, wasn't ftF -. -, 49,.
what was there singular abort tl Such things
i"RR Snt didn't YOU read that SIC had % In her
roekctbook and that she had Just returned liOm
shoppng That woman snoha q9 ihna have eve;
she had S5 Is the most astonishing hins nav wv
known-(Texas Strings
The temperature IS getting TO be pretty torrid In
Portland and Augusta, Ne. The proprtety OF remov-
ing the state Capital from the latter TO the FORMER
town Is being discussed and the air Is black with inc
allegations that are being hurried back ana forth'
vast. Of Tme.-Philadelphh Fox Huntor-Hov.
long does IL take TO got to CAicagof i've sreA
notion to 90 TO the Chicago meet. m. ch,..,.
= Ordinary Cltizen-Whats tho usef ihf ShieeV
NEAR comes 10 us.--( philadelphia Record
4Memory hoopss are the latest fad IN Kansas CITY.
A memory hoop is about ten inches in diameter sne
win hold from thirty 10 forty bows or knots Ana
the thing for the male friends Of young lady TO DO
Is TO give her handsome piece Of colored SIX, which
she ties ON the hoop. The girl who covers the most
hoops I'm this way is considered the reignng belle
sneeches TO be Lived Doyn.-The Miss Brovns-
Oh 90 clad 10 see you, Mary But we've such desa-
full colds can't kiss you, dear. We can ohiy snAS
Fair visitor-oh, dear. how sad hope yos
haven't got cold, Mr.. Brown l-(London Punch