The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1889-01-01
A DEFENSE OF THE BUSTLE.
Ii is a. Joy Beyond Compare and nO
Monarch eau Danish IL.

| wear hustle, says, Maud" in the
ST. Louis Globe Democrat, and belive in
it. | wear large hustle and am proud
of it. wear a steel-ribbed, brass rvet-
ed, burglar and c-proof hustle, and |
hold that it is a JOY beyond compare.
| have tried all varieties of bustles-
the large and small, the round and flat,
the soft and the substantial. NV expe-
rence makes me friendly to the large
bustles, and the stronger they are the bet
ter. like them. The only hustle de-
test is the four cylindered affair filled
with spiral wires that looks like a quad
ruplex fire hose. The cylinders are worn
vertically, and if you are not careful in
sitting down when you have one of these
fixtures on, You are liable to be catapoled
into the empyrean. 1t requires woman
of great and everlasting presence of mind
to sit down properly in the four-cylin-
dered hustle Perhaps Mrs. Cleveland
secured her dislike for the hustle from
wearing the cylinder-shaped arrangement.
If so | cannot blame her much for want
ing to see the hustle banished
But If she ever wore one Of those hand
some steel-wired concerns that resemble
cross between a base ball catcher's
mask and moss basket, shaped like a
halt watermelon and full proportioned as
the round moon, how different she would
feel about it
There is charm about hustle Of this
kind that makes my pen thrill with cc>tatic
delight as write You about it. | want to
poetic on the subject. Rhapsody is
.rn bo
and my hand fairly CLOVIS with the warm
pleasure of the work Of praising it; but
pshaw you are man, and perhaps you
are an old bachelor to boot, and YOU
wouldn't understand my womanlv ioy if
| tried to express it in flowing words.
You might tell me that the only hustle
that you ever heard anything about was
the celuloid hustle, which expIodrs, or
takes fire, or throws railroad tram of
the track, or commits double murder.
or finds hidden treasure, or bursts up "A
happy home, whenever your newspaper
needs really good item, aud you would
laugh and perhaps hand this communica-
ton to the snake editor with Instructions
for him to feed it to the pet cobra iii ca
pella which you keep around the office.
l do not think that you could really ana
truly appreciate the sincerity Of nv sen
tlment and gage the depths of emotion,
IN this matter and, therefore, | Will MT
turn my thoughts loose buStlewar,l, but
Will content myself with remarking Il at
Mrs. Cleveland cnn make fool OF her
self if she will, and rob her fiyure Of the
graceful contour which the prominent
tournure she wore in st. !. ,ui> gave it, il
she SO desires, but the undersigned will
still continue to have u weakness. for largc
bu>tles, and any movement in the direc
ton Of perp"tuatng aud immortaliziny
the shape lmprover> will always meet
with ready and cordial announcement
from this huckt berry.
have heard, say time and again, that
they wonder how women manage to sit
down when they have on hustle. They
do not wonder at any such thing. They
simply speak ito when they say so,
that's all, for it isn't any harder for
woman with a hustle on to sit down than
it is for man with pint flask of cholera
mixture In his coat tail pocket to do it,
All he's got to 10 is TO be little careful
OF course, and that's all woman with a
hustle on has got TO do.
The secret OF it is this When a hustle
decked woman sits down, she does so side
wise. There is a pretty little trick in it,
She pretends she Is going to sit on the
right side Of the chair and makes her first
movement in that direction, but lust as
she reaches the chair she moves graceful
ly to the other side, the hustle rolls to the
right, entirely out of the way of the sit
ter, and the problem is solved.
Put on the hustle, Mr.. Editor, and try
1t. You may not succeed the first time,
but after awhile you will accomplish the
task successfully, and then you will see
that the hustle is not 80 gigantic an in
convenience as some people try to make
1t out to be-
They may talk as much as thev like
about banishing it, but they can never
make 1T a complete and absolute exile
from home. 1t will llnger in our midst
in one form or olher, and if they do away
with the steel wire and wicker baske t.
and the stuffed pillow, there will still be
left the Old standby, the convenient news
paper, which can be folded into per-
ccptibe package and doubled over piece
OF string and fastened in the tournure so
nicely and effectively that it will not only /
answer the purposes of the best bnSlle !
ever made, but it will also serve to keep
green the memory of the round and sym