The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-12-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

When real estate gets boom a sail is
naturally suggested.
The man who resolves to quit drinking
must be in sober earnest. PicdyuHe.
Carpets are bought by the yard and
soled by the foot Richmond Recorder.
The grub makes the butter fly; the
blacksmith makes the fire fly YoEkers
Gazette.
The profession of rat-catching has not
yet been invaded by women. .-BartinqtOn
Free Press.
Would the capture of sealcrs in the
Behring Sea involve the United States in
furrin' war; Gripsack.
A man who is henpecked is well off in
one respect; his wife will not allow any
other woman to peck him.
The real, true national plant, the sole
one that no native American will deny, is
the mint. Baltimore american.
Glove levels all things" Perhaps so;
but it has been noticed that its tendency
is not to make the head level. Boston
Courier.
The Toronto Globe tells of man who
has cooked his own beefsteak for fifteen
years. He must like it very well DONE
Detroit Free Press.
do detest man that's close,
And furthermore. day;
But il a pretty girl is close
l feel the other way. Grip.
Ignorant Maiden-'Mr. Marshare
must be model husband "Why, sog'
"He is so attentive to other women, you
know, he must be a perfect slave to his
wife. ."-Bost0R Transcript.
81 must beg thecongregation to forego
the usual donation party this year, an
nounced the minister. II have nothing
to give The last crowd cleaned me out
of eatables for six months. "-Bazar.
1t is not generally the girl with the
most beaux who gets married first. 1t is
the little, grave, demure girl who sits in
the corner with one young man and
hangs on to him. .-Somergie Journal
We oft hear mentioned as we pass through
life,
The model husband and the model wife;
| But sad to say, we very seldom see
The two residing in one family.
Boston Courier.
'Is that an oil paintfngl" asked the
visitor, looking at picture on the wall.
'An oil painting" echoed Mrs. New
money, in an injured tone. "No, in
deed. That's genuine chrome.
! There's not drop Of oil in it."-Ihe
Ledger.
~ would advise you to buy better
watch; / cannot guarantee this one. ="
"Oh, it is plenty good enough. am
buying it for my nephew to remember me
by and the worse it goes the more he
will have TO think of me. '-Fl;egende
Bldetter.
Jobkins and his wife are pouting after
A domestic ''scene, when their son Bob
rufiles the treacherous calm. Mamma,
which is the king of the beastsl" The
poor abused wife casts whitening glance
at her spouse and replies: ''Man, my
dear. ."-Judge.
Clarissa Ton the ferryboat) 80,
Charles has fallen overboardln Maud
"He can swim, and the land is close by"
Clarissa-''Yes, but think He has a
piece of wedding cake which he brought
from the reception in his pocket. "-La'o-
renee american.
Three burglars worked all night on a
safe in an office, and when they finally
got it open they found six post cards and
five postage stamps to reward them.
The only revenge they could take was to
stick the stamps on the wall and write on
one of the cards. "a feller who keeps a
big safe without anything in it is a
fraud"
'AIy hands are awfully cold, said the
pretty girl, suggestively, on the last quar-
ter of starlit sleigh-ride. "Why didn't
you bring muff with your asked the
practical young man prosaically. 81
did" she snapped, but she wouldn't e%-
plain where the muff had gone to, and he
has been wondering ever since just wha'
she meant. S0merpiHe Journal