Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1889-10-18

Being asked the name of the worlds great
composer, smart university. young man
said: "Choloroform. Philadelphia Rec-
ord.
Little Johnnie-"Say, dad, how is 1t that
it's only the small boy who IL made sick by
eating the green applesF' Brown-"I guess
it's because he's the only one who eats them."
Life.
Lady-"what made you leave your last
afther wantin' me ter eoot aft me hair so she
cud make = switch av 1t ter match her own,
iher ovid rid hidded thing. Epoch.
Reassuring. Guest (angrilye "Confound
your awkwardnessi You've split half that
soup down my back Waiter at restaurant
(heartily)-"Doa't mind it. sir. I'll bring
some more. Bless you, there's plenty Of
soup!"-Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Oldboy-"Oh, you needn't talk, John.
You was bound to have nae. You can't say
that ever ran after you." oldboy-"Very
the mouse, but it gathers him In all the
the same."-Beston Transcript.
We have heard many descriptions of great
size in bells, but meme which amused Us more
than that certain bel. was go large 1t took
900 people to hear it. Two hundred tried
and failed, but 800 listening together sue
ceeded.-Louisville Western Recorder.
Teacher Ito class In arithmetic) -"John
goes marketing. He buys two and quarter
pounds Of sugar at II cents pound, two
dozen eggs at 16 cents dozen and gallon
and half of milk at 20 cents gallon. What
does it all maks." Smallest boy Outgoing
himself ecstatically)-"Custard. Chicago
Tribune.
Wife-"Mother wants to como and make
us a visit, John, but I'm afraid she never
will as long we have that parrot. She de-
tests parrots" Husband-"Does shef''
Wife-''Yes, and you know you have q
standing offer of $50 for that bird" Hus-
band-"My dear, wouldn't sell that parrot
for $15o."-Epooh.
"Polonius was splendid bit of character
work" eyes; but he had his drawbacks.
When he started off and said, Neither bor-
rover nor lender be- he lost the best chance
in the world to show off his wisdom" "How'a
thati" 'Why, he should have gone on and
said, but if thou must do one or t'other, let
it be borrowing. There's money int. ~
Harper's Bazaar.
A wee toddler who made free of our house
and on whom my father had sought to i'm.
press that "ohildren should be seen and moi
heard" aleng with lot Of other similar
maxims, one morning burst noisily in upoI
Us while at breakfast, giving the door oy-
clonish bang as he exploded with: "I DOM
l Waut 10 % soou, WALT u Do uoaIul AuC
he was.-Hartferd Religious Herald.
"I fnd," said a new arrival, "that nay ap'
petite has decreased very much since coming
to Denver, and am worried about it" "Yo1
should not be worried about it," remarked
| the physician. "Why so?" "Beeause tina
is one Of the many advantages of Denver.
II do not see how 1t is to be considered al
advantage" "You can save on your boart
bill by living on the European plan. Dem
yer News.
Stranger-Beg pardon, Sir, bat you have
it in your power to do me great favor, ani
one that will gladly repay. Bankrupt {sad
ly)-Ia I am afraid you have made . mis-
take. am of no use to anybody. hav'
| just failed for half million, and with NJ
assets. $50 have heard" ''You knew i
and yet you say can be of service to your
eyes, sir; beg you will not refuse" "Bu
| what can miserable bankrupt like me d.
for anyones" 81 want you to toll me, Sir
how you got SO much credit. I am from
Chicago. New York Weekly.