New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-08-11
THE OLD PURSER'S YARN.
PITY THE POOR PAsTRY-CoOK.

PITY THE POOR PASTRY-COOK.
OF all the rum slippers l ever across in an
my sea days-and that's rare compliment, too. do
you mind-Capn selvidge just lie just was.
Caleb L. he used to sign himself, but the boys weren't
going TO stand that you know; some Of 'em pried
out from down East somewhere tfat hs fatherd had
him christened Ca Ira, Cay Try, as he pronounced
IT, after some song in that rubbshy old French rcvo-
luton you know don't, ard don't want you to tell
me. So it good his writing himself Caleb l.;
Cay Try it was, and Capn Try his seaname always.
among the boys good one. too. Cap'n Try was, AZ
our mon mostly were but the queerest Dick that ever
crossed Quarterback And you take It flom me, my
SON. that the quarterback is just the homo and
habtatlon of the queer Dick at his queeIest. Oh,
| could go on by the hour about the old man.
but hold on till tell you how he tanned our big prize
fighting pastry cook from Terre Haute Indiana-don5
laugh sir pledge you my word he came from there,
and salt water II drop at wholesale.
Capn Try wasn't any bigger than cocksparrow,
as the Doughboy of the waybosh used to howl out
whenever he was good and drunk, he was regularly
every sunday-sort of religious Observance Bnt.
Cr.stobal Colon If you saw cocksparrow
with the soul OF lion tucked inside, and seaon az
that do you mind old Cay Try was that very bird"
somehow Mr. Terry Hut took regular scunner againss
the little capn. Used to stick stuffed wren on tho
cams bell wlre where II came through the plerOom'
picked It of tho sweepngs or the doctors ruDDsh
time when some crazy Dlf1 ana Oug shdIp hi'
pll-room used TO touch his papercap to It and call
IT cap'n and make faces in the pans when we wenS
through the gaeys and pantres at evening Inspection
Hush II didn't catch the rascal sticking his tongnn
into pe-dsh once after Capn Try had tried It WITH
his white silk handkerchief. as our way was. We'll *
the devil sends cooks, whoever sends seacools doDs
know unless it's the devils sister, and a for ships
pastry cooks there's nothing up to them but the devs
own mother IN law: and Terry Hut he Just laid over
forh mia
cussedness went
Can,n Try had the nucerest internal arrangement 10
he called an appetite you in your born
days. steward he used to say, passing his mana
over his eyes, sofashlon, and then OacH
over the flaming bird o. paradise lock ne
wore for sort of finish like stewart
don,t feel very well to-day. Think I'd better diet
bit Just let me taste some mock-turtle soup a
hit Of nice delicate corned beef with plenty OF cab
bace ssrtine salad, farsh help of FIG pudding
cup of japanese tea made good and strong SO you
can SEQ the thing, and-and bottle OF CIDER On
and steward here, set nice fresh pumphih PIE III
the chart-room tonight, will you. Just IN case
should feel hungry toward morning" Wen one OK
those times when it all fog, fog. fog clear up
from, Cana San Lucas the old left the deck
in thick weather. sir-had one Of these delicate
pumpkin pie appettes come over MIN, ana "ha'
notion should the DEVILS own motherinlaw's privao
secretary from Terry Hut take into that nine-corneed
head Of his but that the old man got so much as
smell of the crust of the first solitary pumpkin pis
he'd have to get up earlier and show himself smarter
than the Doughboy of the waybooh. Well. maybe hs
didn't
But hold on. First night, off Cape San La7aro:
"Cap'n's compliments where IS HIS pumpkin ple!'
Very sorry ; order never to me-" Second night,
passing Cerros Island. cap'n's cOmpliniSts again.
again no pie. profuse regrets, passengers &c em all
up. Third and last night of this attractive comedy
,sps-c n1fUaan
more, pasrycook sorrier than ever. klmplun all
gone everything of the pie kind gone but the hall Oh
2 stale cOcoanut How would that do! It's my
belief. sir. that that last cocoanut broke me rane
back. Anyhow now it was call the steward. turned
in, sir. Cap'ns compliments, please 70 turn ou'
again. "Steward my compliments % mat pas'r9-
cook Of yours and tell him to turn out and g 10
making pies and keep making PIES
till tell him 10 stop' -Four bels-2
a. m-sleepy steward mounts bridge in tousled hair
and stocking feet; Pantry quite cleared, SIR may he
knock off MOVE" 8" When ! order you turn out tho
sorel5eeper and break out more pie fruits from tho
store.rooms Seven bes--3 80 a. M" Pie fruits all
copc sir, "Nothing left ~ Nothing. only mince.,
. Go ahead on the mlncc then.' Three bells-5:30
a. m. and fog lifting a little" Mince all gone now;
what next?, $50 ahead on the empty crusts TIL
tell him to stop Six bellS-7 NJ. coming up
and captain coming down." Very sorry, sir, pastry
room all chock-ablock with pies, sir, and overfowed
the cooks and walters can do not TO step on en-
Very good. then fetch the pastry cook 10 mas
Pastry alone with capn in chartrOOm.
And now. Mr. Pastry cook, what in your opinion
Is the probability of the captain of this ship beng
able " have slice OF pie when he orders Il -
Wen. sir IL Just pitiful 10 that poor pastry
cooks face break all up like January thaw and two
big lines OF tears organize themselves on his pasy
cheeks. He just heavcd one great sob and made out
To say. Oh cap'n my pore sperrt Is Just broke a.!
TO nothn'. Have mercy on me this time. sir. and
won't never do so no more. not neverp
I'll hush II Captain Try didn't have to blow his
nose with that red abandanna when he told me tho
story. And wild horses wouldn't drag those two
men apart after that. And. hold on a minute. tbs
stecrage Just lived on pies. mince and lemon and
cranberry, and goodness knows what all the last two
days Just tcked 10 death. Doctor grOwlei. but n1b0y
minded him. And every OF those seventeen
hundred and thirty-nine assorted pies had puckeii
on the top crust with little machine padonei
out burglar in the Storage got mp and passed
IN to Terry Hut, these narrowing words. Pity ths
Poor PaSycOokn
Al last the " Fra, lay to of the bar waiting for
daylight Up comes shirt sleeves. pants-n-your
boots committee with 1--WE hundred and fifty dollars
plaster box, TO buy the cap'n gold chlonOmeter
watch and chain with one OF those tasty quartz
nuggets dangling from II for seal And you can
believe IT or not just You like. but the old man
Just up and says Sorry gentlemen, company
rules give IL 10 the pas cook he's your beneiactor
so they did. and 70 his dying day the first thlns
the Doughboy OF the Waybosh used 10 DO when no
came sober again TO save mp and take thao
watch and chain out OF pawn. But you csrent say
punkln- pieo TO him. And Capn Try didn't have To-