Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1889-12-14

At the end Of ten wears. howaver IL.
,lt'Ie Lord Iootle was born, and at his
olrth his mother died. and from that
,lme forward Lord Fanfare devoted
himself to the rearing and education
VI liItie Lord Tootle. Many were the
traps set for that WHY old bird. Lord
Fanfare; mothers cringed to him,
daughters smiled at him, widows
ogleo him. musical girls played at
hlm' vocal girls squalled at him. bpt
all IN vain. Lord Fanfare wasn't a
marrying man, and the ladies had
their labor for their pains. They
resented that, the dear creatures-of
course they did, and then thew had
their revenge. 1t was Lady Kitty
Candour who set it 90 ing; I mean
that it was Lady Kitty who first
started the rumor of Lord Fanfare s
wlckedness. You've only got to
look at him" people said, land you'll
see that it's true at glance. WHY.
he dyes his hair, and he wears a chin
tuft-all very wicked old men dive
their hair and wear chin tufts; he
goes to Tattersall's regularly, he's
very thick with theatrical people. he's
a member of the Pandemonium Club.
and, to crown his iniquity, he's a
director OF a music hall company"
why does he dress as if he were a
tailor's advertisement" said Lady
Drumthwackit, whose penniless daugh-
ter Hilda had tried very hard indeed
for the old gentleman, and had miser-
ably failed.
And he paints, ma, / know he
does. " cried the artless Hilda, ''or how
could he have the complexion of
youth of seventeen?'
He has wonderful complexion. )"
replied her mother, but he needn't
have Dragged Of it to all the world"
Now, the fact was that Lord Fanfare
kept his connection with the Methuse-
lab pill very dark indeed; but he had
wonderful complexion, and being fond
of joke, and liking to do a stroke of
business at the same time, he had al
lowed the omnibu5es to literally bris-
tie with his portrait, beneath which
was the following ridiculous adver-
tisement:
Il am sixty-fve to-day, and yet,
thanks to the Methuselah pill, my
complexion is that of boy of seven.
teen.
You can't doubt the word of peer
OF the realm, you know, and the sale
of the Methuselah pill was vastly in
creased.
The fact is that Lord Fanfare wore a
chin tuft simply because chin tufts were
in fashion when he was young bache-
lor in the guards; he went to TattersalPs
simply because he'd gone to latter
sails all his life; he was director of a
music hall company because he was q
large shareholder, and because he
liked the little directorial suppers,
and because in music hall matters he
was a very knowing old boy indeed.
Lord Fanfare and his friend and CO.
dir 3ctor, Mr.. David Psalmanezar,
were sitting in the directors box at
the International Palace of Varieties,
each with a Brobdingnagian opera
glass in his hand, and they were star
ing intently at the stage, upon which
the three talented sisters, Laura, Cora
and Dora Flarer, wer9 going through
their well-known entertainment.
They're dirt cheap at hundred a
y ~ n
anezar. why, half the chappies in
town are over head and ears in love
with them. and they have to drink un-
limited whiskys- and-sodas-our whis-
kys-and-sodas, he added, with a
laugh-''to drown their sorrows; aAB1
there amt a doubt" said Psalmane-
EAR, who was vulgar man, with a
chuckle, that they're Summers, and
that Laura's the stunningest OF the
three; but l don't think | should care
for her as a daughter-in-law," contin-
ued Mr.. Psalmanezar.
No. | think | should draw the line
there" remarked his Lordship.
Then why on earth don't you stop
b LUZ Fe)lieu MI. StllLA1ACHo'l'
Stop itr' cried his Lordship, "Stop
what?"
You've always been good pal to
me- Fanfare" remarked Psalmanezar;
cts no business of mine, but they do
say, Fanfare, my boy, that Spindles is
going to marry her"
Now. Spindles was a nickname that
had been bestowed upon young George
B.owhard, commonly called Lord
Tootle. as the news papers say; his fel-
low chappies called him Spindles be-
hind his back and to his face, because
hts principal characteristic was pair
of very thin, long legs.
Don't chaff," said his Lordship'
angrily.
I'm not chatting" replied his friend
and co-di1 ector; that's the talk here,
and | believe it's a straight tip old
man"
I'm immensely obieeged to you'
I'm sure" said his Lordship. He was
an old-fashioned nobleman, and he
always said obleeged, for the same
reason that ne wore chin tutt-not
because of his natural wickedness, but
because it was the fashion in his young
I days.