Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1889-05-03
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Dressed hens look chic.
Late habits-Night gowns.
A head gardener-The barber
Court plasters-Awards for damages.
Words of wait-'Bring that bill next
week"
Walters cpitaph-He couldn't wait
any longer, so he went.
Better to be loan than in bad COM
pany was not written of our umbrellas
life.
Even the tiger is not without affection.
He is very much attached to his paw and
nav.
Girls who use powder don't go off any
quicker than those WIN don't.-Boston
Courier.
The homeIy girl is seldom mentioned,
and the pretty one is also seldom men
shun'd.
The railway sandwich is an instance
where they never succeed in making both
ends meat.
Even the most Unconditional man can't
contain himself when he goes to sea-
Ierre Hdute Elpress.
A Stray Thought. Few have
an idea" Van Riper-"Can't you find
the owner. "-Mmsey's Weekly.
The press feeder sooner or later finds
that the press is incorporate. 1t often
takes five fingers. York Meas.
Tommy-"W did your mother do
H.
clicked me for cutting ii. "-Epoch.
HOLSTERS and babies are alike in one re-
spect They both turn red when they get
into hot water.-Burli1gton Free Press.
"You can't do anything without money,
my boy" ooh, yes you can" cpd
like to know what?' "Get in debt. -
Statesman.
1t is an indication that peppery times
are near when the salts are mustered for
action on board of man-of- war
Boston Courier.
A long-winded artillery captain had
his pocket picked in Denver recently,
and his companions speak of him as
''another rifed bore"
The highest office in the gift of the
President is that of Postmaster at Mineral
Point, Col. 1t is II, 600 feet above the
sea Ievel-No1Tist0acn Herald.
Though a maiden's voice be squeaky
Yet it cannot be disOwned,
That the dollars of her daddy
Make it very silver toned.
Detroit Free Press
A Born Grumbler.-'I am the I'M
luckiest man living. Here / find piece
of money, and it is only a nickle. II
any one else had found it, it would have
been a quarter"
She-'Isn't Miss Amber a perfect
daisy?" Mr.. Jonathan Trump-''Yes,
they are all daisies, but after awhile they
lose their petals in the game of love me,
love me not. '"-LJ6.
cit is the partings in this world that
give us pain" sadly sings a poet. 1t is
the meetings too. If you don't believe
this, ask the man who has a note to
meet.-BostOn Courier.
The old-time rushlight was even dim
mer than parlor gas. Still, the young
men of those days were very well satisfied
with it and didn't call early to avoid the
rush.-TerrG Haute Gdzette..
"You say your son is a painter, Mrs.
Browne. Is he a landscape painter2"
''No, think not. His last job was on
the Galway fiat house. He is more of
fre-escape painter. "-Harper's Basar.
"You appear to be in good health"
said prison visitor to a convict. 'It IL
only in appearance, sir, replied the con-
vict, 'Sfor the fact is / am confined to my
room more than half the time. "-Sittings.
A busy doctor of Scranton, Penn, sent
in a certificate of death to the health
officer, and inadvertently placed his name
in the space for ''cause of death" This
is what might be called accidental exact
ness. Chicago Herald.
A live mouse fell into a pan full of
milk. 1t swan round and round in its
efforts to get out, but in vain. How
ever, thron gh the activity of its move
ments the milk was at last churned into
butter, when the mouse was enabled to
Jump out of the pan and regain its
I;bar+v - Gnzette DE O7i1frect