New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-09-06
THE TALK or THE DAY.

The Rev. T.. ID. Hammond three years ago De'd"'
pastor of a Baptist church in PtsbnrS since then
no nas very largely increased the membership OF the
church and has built a $4,000 edlnce. But some
Of the members recently discovered that he was
smoker and the dlscO' cry 50 impaired hts usefulness
that he has deemed it it eXpedient TO resign
MIS- JasonIt really IS a pity that the papers have
to devote much space TO scandal 80
Mr. JaSOn--lt IS, indeed. by the way dld you SEQ
ANYTHING I'm the papers about Wickwire leaving town
the other day with marriel woman
Mrs. JasOH-NO. Tell me about 1t QUICK VINO was
MIR. Jason-IIs wlfe.-(Terrr Haute Express
Mr. Smith Rcadng Belamys d" Looking Backward.')
-IInllo what does that mean? We arc to have
neither banks nor bankers. Isn't he going It rather
fast?
Mrs. smh--why, no dear; not at the rate they are
going to Canada.
Papa Uo little EtheD-Do you know. dear. that the
bright star you above us IS bigger than all the
Ethel--Oh, no, papa, that can't be!
papa-But 1t is, my dear.
EthelLrhen why doesn't it keep Oft the ralnl
--(Pick Me Up.
A very extraordinary society, called " The Order
Of the Mystic Circle has just been organized in PhIla
delphia, and Will be duly chartered. Its objects
are the protection and relief of unfortunate husbands
And only those eligible for membership who
have wives who mako their lives unhappy. The
society already numbers 200 members and It Is sald It
will soon have a membership Of 1000 Men who will
build social organization the foundation Of their
domestic infclictes must be queer lot.
In the selection OF National flower let us strive
with all our energies to select something that WASH {
discovered sixteen seventeen centuries ago by the
Chinese. The Chinese have the lead Of us IN fire
crackers and printing presses and varons other com
mOdities which we had learned 10 look upon WIN eau,
casian pride let MS see if can't g%t a National
flower on our own accOunt-lMelchant Traveller
Put TWO nickes in the slot and get Il bottle OF
whlskey,' IS the sign a slot machine which has APP
pealed I'm Kansas City. The bottle is small one
containing about gill of stuff fiery enough to tickle
the throat OF the most srizzled cowboy The machine
IS Intended to defeat the Sunday Closing law.
"rhat's all rIghto said the tank artist, as he
scrambled dripping to the stage. That's all rlghl ;,
but the next @S do "a 9S 5 RIG s s tdaE
What is the trouble y .., -. ..aoo o,nrOr,er
drons n niece of hose into the water he ought to
give me Up OF eoHrSG do tc BELIEVE when in ve eGa
nerve, are going back on you'-W aShington Capital.
Western woman recently wrote book enttle.l
| How to be Good, Though IIomey7; and not copy
of It has been sold. But the numerous books en-
titled How TO be Beautiful continue TO sell like hot
cakes 1t IS pretty evident that the old adage about
beauty being only skin deep doesn't make the average
woman think any the less OF beauty.
"Choly.o said one dry goods young person TO
another on the hotel promenade ar Bay Ridge. I'm
so glad doncIerknOw, that they don't have veal beer
| at this place"
Because you get bwown soda water and look
veal devllsh and never get bit drunk, dCncher-
know" Washington Capital
Archdeacon FaTar's fervd plea for the establish
ment OF an order of mendcant monks in the Episcopal
Church in England and the United States meets with
| a very chilling response from the Church organs.
After mecilessly rdiculing the whole idea, THE
| Churchmanr says that even II such au order were
desirable It could not be founded by welLpad, we'll
| fed archdeacOn.
Some Observation-Disclosures mamma, you
| ought not to object 10 Charley on account OF his
| poverty. I'm sure he has as much money as father
| had when he married you. I've often heau you say
| YOU we're as poor as church mice when you married
Mother-You must remember, my dear, thaI your
father had good deal OF horse sense, Whch Chaflcy
| haSn't.-(TeTe Haute Express
The National trait win come ont. cute Yankees
IN Paris always ascend the ElTel Tower in the hottest
mart of the day. because owing to the law OF eXpan-
sion the structure is then five inches higher than it
e at other times and they thus get as much as pos
sible for their money.
| So It Is" SMITH Smith! he called In ioud
voice 10 a man a hundred feet ahead OF him on Mchl-
| ganave. ,,., -. .to ,ooopd came I'M
| NV GeOrgew exclaimed the first as he came up
al have made mistake You are not smith,
| "NO. am not
| " And l am not Green
aWe well, We're you Just going in after drink y
| {" Ncit6er was l. Isn't IT curious how things do
| happen !r--( Detroit Free Press.