The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1889-02-12
What the Boarders at the L 3a6-
ing Hosiery are Eating
and Saying Thereof.
A Daring Attempt to Escape the
Fsetive Hash Pots and q
Beard Bill
The Red Headed Girls Return
and Lai . Acquisition to
the Circle.

Mine host CT the Goat HOUSE
glanced up over bis spectacies one
night last week. when a gust of WIND
blew a new boarder into the hotel.
through the front door, left open al
all hours TO accommodate the live
stock and commercial travellers. Now
the new guest had not intended TO
stop at the Goat House but was u~eed
to the desperate action by circum.
stances over which be had DO control.
In fact, the fingers of gavnt hunger
had sp'zed a handful of his intesliues.
and he was anxious to mortgage his
mustache to satisfy the claim which
penny had laid upon hin.
The new guest was man Ct an un-
certain age, bearing uDmisiakable
evidences CT better davs and the wait
ress wert bitterly as she served cor
densed and compounded dyspepsia 10
the n, = conner in the "chuck" which
he SO eagerly ca'ied for ard de-
voureG.
He had no baggage, and for this
reason, he was yspked before the tr..-
bunal, for an investigation into his
resources. He was a man of resources,
however, and ne was equa, to the
emergency. His counieuauce, his
unAinching gall and impsrtu; able
composure, passed him through the
ordeal unscathed.
Yet he was tired, having brea.t.
el the elements during rain and shioe,
for several days, preceding, with
the usual effects, as he cautiously
ay-, with fear and trembling struck
mine host for the key to his door.
Now this new bparder was no chump.
He wasn't goi-g TO arouse susp; cioD
by demanding THAT key with bonn
f.;tic blrste,, but sweetly got the key
and the accompanying ta'low candle,
before the host was aware of the fact,
and the broad surface Of his back was
seel as the new boarder went loili q
up the steep stairway, leading to the
garrett, where The poultry and the
guests were lodged. He had gone,
gone before the landlord could point
to his p'acard, "Guests mist pay, If
they amt GOT DO baggage" aud
with a Wild, despa;liDg Shrek,
the landlord fell 10 the floor in a
sSoon. He had been manipulated,
and was metapho-ica'ly kicking him
self for an experienced chump.
The new boarder tripped across the
rafrers, apd found bis bunk, where,
after clubbing few rails, removing a
setting hen from of the coverIid and
making other ordinary preparations
for Dight's repose, he fell asleep.
Yes, he slept soundly, and arose,
when the great gong sounded the hour
for "grub."
SprInging lightly from his bunk
the newcomer fastened 10 the bar
quest bail, where be filled himself,
much TO be delight of the host, who
was glad to see the good work so
quickly dope.
The waiter, an auburn-haIred lass.
split a few scalding tears in the soup,
for she felt tenderness for the new
boarder, so ursuspecsiug. SO fat broke
and abominably hungry.
But the work was done, Dyspepsia
had claimed Its own, and the new
boarder became one of the circle off
elite.
But it came to pass, that this
boarder had not the wherewithal TO
pay the STIPULATED sum FIR his hash, |
and, after due deliberation, be found |
that his only hope was fight. His
last meal was eaten, and the shades of
night were falling fast, when he
launched himself from the window of
his palstisl apartments, and fell, with
q dull, and sickening thud. on his col
lar box, which he had place on the
ground below, break the fall.
The alarm was raised, the big gong
and the guests, NOT more than
half attired, came rushing out on the
pavement with shirtaiis out of their
breeches, or, in the retired language
IF mine host, "their shirts dis
arranged, and their trousers absent,
IN vacation.
Mine host had called out the a.
illery, and the red barred lass, with
Ter heart hardened towards the frs,l.
ickle boalder, filled the shotgun. !,
which had done vaiaent service Oh !
previous occasions, with beans. The
,un was discharged, just as the ten
mt boarder was vault; g fence, in
abored manner. The rea.
u Ills person was as good as .
arget shopid be, but he had sheltered
hat exposed part with shingles.
Receiving ihe discharge OF small shot