The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1889-09-28
WHERE MOSS GROWS.
The Moss Back and His Uses-A Pen
Picture True TO Life.

high in authority, to lick THE TIKI
BUNE. Being a brave man b,
tackled TRIB. the big, first, (which
is always highly proper) but afte
sizing him up, consented to truce
and a short parley before proceed
ing with the exercises. 1t seems
as though this great journal of re
form alluded to the specie known
as "moss backs" in no very com
plimentary terms recently, and oul
old friend says he is a moss back
of the first water. On being asked
what a moss back is, he said the
word and cold timer" were synony.
nous, and that the term was ap-
piled soley to the oldresidenters and
Indian fighters who made civiliza-
, ton in Idaho possible. This is not
THE TRIBUNE's Interpretation of the
word. Following is the picture of
a moss back as we see him, which
appeared in THE TRIBUNE of June
%, from an Oregon exchange. To
those who come within this defini-
ton, we have no apology to make
We are sure it will set US right
with our old pioneer friends, but
hardly expect it to quell the great
excitement the item caused among
certain circle in Boise City:
A mossback, my son, is the sleep
ing partner in our business relations
with the Pacific Northwest. He is
not indigenous to this corner of the
armament, but on his arrival he SO
thoroughly set his stakes down and
adopted the state with SO much
determination that, for all practical
purposes, he is native.
Yes, he is peculiar to Idaho, and
would be anywhere outside of a
graveyard. But ne is not peculiar
to Idahoans. All mossbacks are
Idahoans, but all Idahoans are not
mossbacks.
Webster says: ''Moss is an
acrogenoes cryptogamous plant OF
cellular structure with leaves and a
distinct root"
In our mossback the root is not
district. 1t is imbedded in his
spinal column, but he has all the
other SYMPTOMS.
The word mossback as term of
reproach has as much earnestness
of application as porous plaster.
When a man becomes a moss
back he is CT no use except to count
one in the census. He still breath
but his functions have lost all hope,
ali ambition and nerve. They
merely go around with the owner
and have life enough left to dread the
day that will consign them to the
grave with him alone to perform
upon.
In waiting for things to turn up,
the mossback displays as much in
terest as seven year-old bank note.
Yet if a thing turns down when he
expects it to turn up, he don't seem
to care. 1t is his way.
A mossback takes everything
easy, including the market price,
malaria, election returns, chills,
cod liver oil and Gods name in
vain.
He believes in patent medicines
and the ten commandments. He
likes to talk politics, and when he
does he is generally down on cor
polations and the head of nail
keg.
He is very reminiscent and will
go back eight miles to look FIR a
lost Inch pin, when it is only half
mile to the next blacksmith shop.
He never leads anything unless
it is that portion of his life not yet
called in. He joins the procession
at the tail end, long after the band
has turned the bend in the road,
and he loses the step.
He takes no interest in the
human race, but hangs around the
judges stand and waits to see the
others come in. He never bets
because he can't afford to lose, and
don't know enough to win.
He has been introduced on several
occasions, but never got on speaking
terms with enterprise.
When an opportunity comes
along he goes in the house, shuts
the door and looks out the back
window.
When the mail came by stage, he
asked one of his neighbors every
day to inquire for him; now that it
comes by rail, he makes the request
only once a week. He don't believe
in railroads.
He buys improved farm machin-
cry because he can get it on credit.
He leaves it out in the elements
because he hasn't paid for it.
He remembers that rich man
can no more enter the kingdom of
Heaven than camel can vault
through the eye off needle. There
fore he remains poor and thin and
will not hump himself because
that's what allied the camel.
The average mossback owns
more ground than the whole group
of Pilgrim Fathers landed upon.
Yet he cultivates only half of it and
summer fallows the balance for six
years at a stretch and dead loss.
He thinks there is money in pork,
but continues to paw IA cents a
pound for bacon done up in yellow
ochre shroud. He believes in