The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-02-09

one, with request to "see II that stove
down stairs hadn't set something on hre,
smelled something burning He snorted'
and being not yet out of the land of dreams,
made this astonishing reply
81 won't do It! That isn't the way the
Court ordered it!'
Among the haggard attractions to appear
at the opera house In the near future. She
will find prominent place.
So
A young man waltzed into down town
saloon the other morning, and after taking
dose of Simon u Co.'S seltzer, casually In.
quired how the business was pr spering in
Ottawa, and wipiug his incipient gostee on
bar towel, Intercepted
"Want bar tenderg"
"Dont know. What can you do? Where
did you sling drinks last? You are not
from Chicago?" And as the last question
left his lips the proprietor carefully felt
for his club beneath the bar.
"No, to most of your questions as to my
ability, can refer you to one of the big
gest druggists in Davenport. I'm gradu'
uate of the Iowa school of Pharmacy"
Got any books ?" inquired the small boy
as he leaned against the glass show case
and spat at nail in the floor.
"Should say we had. Why look-a-here
young man! Here's Dickens works,
Hawthorne's, and dozen shelves full just
as good. What do you want? There's
our dime novel counter on tho other side'
"Nope! guess them wont do. Its for
pa. Gimme something in big type, cause
he's deaf as a post"
There is every indication that this years
races will go far ahead of any event In the
history of the driving park, both In fast
horses, good time and attendance. asked
director the other day what the prospects
for spring meeting now is, as things now
stand, AMI from what ne let fall | canuot
say it is very encouraging. He may have
been one who is opposed, but he did not
say so directly. Another director said that
the $4,000 stake race would be certain to
draw in the best horses in the country.
Streator and Ottawa are the only towns in
the State, Chicago alone excepted, that
have displayed sufficient nerve to offer this
purse, and Joliet will discover that In not
doing so she has made mistake. The
entrance fee to this great 81 600 2:3O class
and in order to get its money back, without
drawing on the gate receipts, the associa
tion must have the entries. This race is
not purse race, but stake race, viz: a
race In which horse distancing the field
gets the entire stake. In the purse race the
winning horse gets but half, whether he
balances the field or not. 1t Will readily
be seen that an owner of horse entering
this race will get but one thousand dollars
if his horse does not distance, and two
thousand dollars If he does, so that it is
dollars to dimes that every horse will be
"sent" to the best of its ability, and the
driver who pulls" will be presented with a
brace of walking papers after the race is
finished.
A dappcr travelling man, who has just as
good an opinion of himself as other travel
ing men have, escaped annihiation by a
mere chance at the rink the other evening.
He procured pair of skates and went out
upon the floor with mentally formed de-
termination to skate with the prettiest girl
in the house, or skate alone. Now 1t ap-
pears that the prettiest girl In the house,
on that particular eve. ing, was the best
girl Of fat young man, and when the
drummer sailed away with her the youth
was just tritle wild. AT length he
thought CT brilliant idea, and carefully
unfolded 1t to his friend Jimmy in the
cloak ROOM
Jimmy" calculated he, "see that purity
bloke with my mash in tow?'
Yes" latter minutes reflection)
"NOw look-a-here, jimmy "Tell you
what! You just go around and get in
front of 'em and I'll get behind EN- Then
when they get around on the right side,
where the crowd is big, you just fall down
and trip the bloke, and when he drops I'll
fall on him and squash his burned shirt
busum. See?"
"Y'betw
This entertaining programme was cares
fully carried out, until it came to the fat
boys time. Here arose an obstacle he
had not counted upon, for the best girl
al f,,u ~ 90