St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1889-11-02

You've got to entertain company when
you've got it."
you've got tn feed 'em good" sez
|; ''but / dunno as you've got tn kite
round Accordin to their directions"
''Wall, I've promised tn fix the ten.
mis- ground" sez Uriah. '.Its splen.
did game. I'm goin' tn get suit and
bats tO-morrer and buy me a bow.
wuz up head at bow-arrer when l wuz
a boy. and il 1 can't hit that bull's-eye
every time I'll give up"
Il have give up already" sez l.
''Are you goin' tn get short pants and
striped jackets?'
Regular tennis suit" sez Uriah,
whatever it is. want to show them
York folks that am good as they be.
ef not little better"
When l heerd them words couldn't
express my sentiments in no way but in
groans. laid upon my piller in a kind
O. CONNER fur quite spell; then Uriah
nudged me.
Nanny" sez he. ''would you get
yeller clothes or blue and whitc?"
Neither" sez /. Get red. SO the
folks will know what monkey you be.
playin' ball and shootin' bow-arrers at
your age!"
But my words was Of no avail. He
got the clothes. and after that a kinder
strangeness fell betwixt us. ! wus
alters tn work; he wus alters tn play
ridin' round or sailin' round with them
Jessamys and the other boarders,
shakin' down the plums and peaches
iur 'em. takin' 'em fishin'. Silas Prog.
the man that had had the laborer's
cottage fur four or five years. told me
he'd given over all farm directions to
him. and paid no attention to the place.
and as hands don't work much ef
they're not watched. he said it was
OWN to him ef we had any crops that
year.
As fur me. the help was the sassiest
thing ever knowed, and l didn't durs.
dismiss her. and kept on raisin' her
wages every time she threatened to
leave.
But at last the climax came. I wus
wore out and half-sick, and seemed tn
me fresh air would save me: and one
afternoon | told the help she'd hev to
get tea herself. and | took my sun
bonnet and off l went tn the archery
as they'd took to callin' the end of the
orchard. The girls looked as cool as
could be there, all dressed up in white.
and the young men talkin' and smilin'
and my husband-yez, my husband
sittin' on a bench alongside the wild
der. givin' her them insinuating looks
he kin ef he chooses! had slippers
on. and l came close up to 'em without
maxim any noise. and heerd her say:
..Mr. Jones certainly admircs Ro-
setta"
Nobody couldn't help it." sez
Uriah.
"But Cecilia is the prettiest, sez
the widder.
Neither of 'em is as handsome as
their ma" sez Uriah.
'Oh. 60 away! You didn't think so;
you're just flattering," sez the widder.
LEI l wus a single bachelor, you'd
see!" sez my husband.
Now I'm cooled off-it's a couple Of
years ago-now I'm cooled of, l
swear into a court of justice
that Uriah was goin' to kiss the wid-
der, and as Christian l must allow l
carn't say for certain she'd hev let
him; but things appeared to me like
she would at that minute.
and l of with my sun
bonnet and gave her . whack over the
head and him another. maxim remarks
which I prefer not repeatin' if re-
'em all-which don't She
the gals ran up. Criah
took hold of me and the rest of the
boarders stared like cows.
Il reckon you'll know me next time
vou see me-" sez I; .'but YOU won't see
me for quite spell. To-day ends
conduct such as this; you can git-all
Df you! There's q early train to-mor-
rer, and I'll see that you take it; so
pack your trunks tonight! The help
will give you your teas. As for me. !
,han't set down with a character like
The Widder Jessamy; I'm disguised by
hevin' ever done it.''
MADAME. what do you dare to in
,inuate?' sez she. :.
That you was a-goin' tc kiss my
husband" sez !.
Then she shruck. and the other la
lies shruck. and finished of by grab
bin her false front of curls of her
head and throwin' it into Criah's
lace. Then l went home and went to
bed.
The boarders all went before break
last next mornin'. and all day long me
and Uriah quarreled. said I'd get a
divorce from him; he said he'd get one
from me for bein' shrew.
"And marry Widder Jessamy" sez |.
1T would be a change for the bet
ter" sez he
Hammer and tongs. hammer and
longs. we kept it up until all Of sud-
den l turned faint and didn't know any
more for quite spell. Then l was in
bed with complications-that's what
the doctor called it.
Well. must say Uriah nursed me
like . woman. for all kept tellin' him
I'd live as long as | could to spite the
Jessamy: and when l did get
better he carried me down stairs and
sot me - the great rocker on the
porch and put pillers under my head.