davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
A Dear Little NaEIe.

Mrs. Slick Ito caller)-"This is my
little four-year-old Johnny, Mrs. Hob
son."
Mrs. Hobson (gushlngly)-'Indeed,
why bless your sweet little heart come
aud kiss me. Oh, what delightful
little kiss aud what nice little breath !!
Can you tell me your dear little name"
Johnny-"Yethm, ith Johnny Wat
routh Warrington Harrithon Thlick."-
Epoch.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
How to Lrarn German.

eff you want to learn German" said
Mr.. Leo Hirsch, State printer, 81 can tell
you how to do so in twenty-four hours: !"
"Well, tell u.s." said his auditors in
chorus and with increased interest.
sJust take the whole German Ian
guage," said Mr.. Hirsch, slowly, soberly,
and with emphasis; "divide it into
twenty-four parts, and learn one part
every hour in the day. Columbus Dis
patch.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06

" "Well, they don't owe us anything,
do they9" asked the senior partner.
"No; as nearly as I can find out they
have failed at their own expense" :.
"Bah!" said the senior partner, IN dis
gust. s.that is not failure at all. That
IS the work of dunderheads, sir. Do not
degrade the word failure by applying
it to o mere unbusiness-like smash-up.
am surprised at you, Mr.. Longmeter."
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
Homemade Feather Duster.

I have made a duster or brush OF
chicken feathers which I find very use
full. I selected even, pretty feathers,
until I had q quantity saved: Then with
a needle aud fine strong twine, l strung
them through the stem ends OF the feath-
ers, hammering the quills flat, so as to
make them lie close to the handle. For
the handle, used an old broomstick.
wet this handle with strong glue, Sc
cured one end of the string and wound
the strung feathers around and around
the stick, until I had my brush as large
as 1 wanted it. As wound, l bound
the stems close to the stick with twine.
and, in finishing the last row, bound
them tightly and evenly by winding IL, the
twine on the outside over all the quills.
All the time I was working, l kept the
quills wet with glue. The twine was
covered with a cap of enameled cloth.
This 1 made and slipped on while the
glue was still wet; when the glue dried,
| had nice firm brush.-PTasrae Far-
11ler.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
Tough!

Tough.
Mr.. Long Waiting Che tailor)-'T
would like very much to see Mr.. Ba-
boony. An important matter of busi-
ness, you know"
Mr.. Baboony's Man-'I'm very sorry,
sir, but Mr.. Baboony's busily hengaged,
sir, and can't be seen. He's studying,
sir, which coat he shall wear to the club
to-day, and it'd be ruin to me if him
terrupted him, sir !"-Sytings.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
Tho Real Estate Boom Had Passed.

"Joshua," said farmer, who lived o
few miles from Western town, IN con-
veisation with his son, "where do you
think we had better plant our potatoes
next spring." ,,.
81 don't know. father, I hadn't
thought of it. How would the land
down by the creek do"
"Down by the creek" repeated the
old man, scornfully. "We'il plant them
at the corner of 1SOth and Gay streets,
lot six, block 317, Jenkins's addition to
the City of Swamp Hollow. w."-MsrcAant'
Irare,er.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
Otherwise He Was Sa fe.

Hooligan-'So ye do bees teelin' me
thet Brannigan was murthered be bur-
glars9" .,
Mooney-"Yis, be iabbers, it's a fact"
Hooligan-'An' did they get his
money!" =,
Mooney-"Nivefa cent. Sure he had
it hid safe, an barrin' losin' his life
Brannigan kim out wild whole shkin."
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
The Judge Sighed.

A short time after the jury had retired
from Chicago criminal court room, the
bailiff was startled by furious noise IN
the jury room.
"You needn't kick in there" he cried,
sfor we don't intend to let you out tn
you are ready with your verdict. Ihls
is an important case"
"For heavens sake let us OUT" one OF
the jurymen shouted.
"Have you got a verdict"
"No, but"
"Then you can't come out"
81 tell you that"
"And tell you that you are not COM
ing out"
The noise within became more furious,
the cries became loud and distressing.
The bailiff at length open the door.
The jurymen rushed out, followed by a
dense volume of smoke. The room was
on fire. When the judge heard OF the
iury's narrow escape, he sighed sadly.
He had had much experience with !u-
ries so much. indeed, that he has had the
bailif's salary Observation-Disclosures 1ras-
eler.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
M Danper OF Ies Spreading.

No Danger or It's Spread1nE.
Gus Snoterly-"These Chinese must
60" ~
Charlie Observation-Disclosures have
they been doing now"
II have been reading how they make
it sacred rite to pay every cent they
owe before the beginning of the new
year. Suppose they introduce that GUS
tom in this country2"
"What if they do9 There's no danger
of its spreading."-Sytings.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
Sing Far Away.

"What shall singw he asked, when
they had persuaded him to sit down on
the piano stool in the saloon.
drifting" said one.
"When the Tide Comes In," said an
other.
Sailing" proposed third.
"Oh, sing Far Away suggested the
irascible old gentleman on the back
settee.-The Ocean,.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
Reiuvenated.

sfDid you ever notice that the con.
fectioner's name is on these cookies2"
queried Waggley.
ono"
"Well, it is, and there's only one thing
lacking about it,"
whats that2"
"a date"
And then the landlady, after dinner,
took 'em out on the back stoop and
sandpapered 'em.-Detroit Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
A Faithful Heart.

Tumblethwaite had proposed and been
accepted, and as he slipped the engage
ment ring upon her finger, he said trem.
ulously: =.
"Da.ling, you will always wear it
upon this finger, won't you9" and the
girl with shy glance of love, replied:
"Always, George, always-when am
with you."-Lye.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
She Felt wretched About 1t.

Mrs. Gushington-"Why, Julia, what
makes YOU look so down-hearted2"
Julia-"My servant has left me, and
my poor old mother, who is lust barely
recovered from an attack of rheumatism.
is compelled to do all the housework." s"
-Sytings.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06

Ouoth he: "You are my life. dear girl,
Consent my wife to be-"
81 cannot, George" she quick returned,
"The law forbids, you see."
"The law forhids!" he gasped. Eyes, George
She plaYfully replied.
eff you should take your life of course,
You'd be suicide"
-Yonkers Gazette.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
The Other String to the Bow,

Mrs. smallsalary-"I don'tsee how we
arc going to keep the children warm this
winter, Alfred"
MIR. Smallsalary-"Well, I suppose we
can afford fire part of the time, and
part of the time we can take turIs spank
inc them. m."-Burlington Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06

OF all the beet sugar factories yet in
stituted in the United States none is now
in opcration except one in California, aud
this one, it is reported. is largely en-
gagged in refining sandwich Island cane
sugar.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
At the Table i'm Two Acts.

At the Table in Two Acts.
"1ls, may speak,"
"You know that you are forbidden to
talk at table, my dear"
"Can't just say one thing"
"No, Pepi! When papa has finished
his paper, then you may talk"
Papa lays down his paper after break:
fast and asks "Well, Pepi, what did
you want to say"
81 wanted to say that the wateri is run
ming in the bathroom, and the tub is
leaking over like everything."-Time.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06

Alaska has q coast line of 1000 miles,
and its climate varies greatly according
to location. In the Stka district there
are from 100 to 275 rainy days in the
year. January, February and June are
the pleasantest months.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
An Easy One.

An Easy One.
"Papa," sweetly lisped little Hello
eabalus, "what relation are the children
of first cousins to one anotherl"
"Second cousins, of course" replied
Agrippinus.
Mop. Guess again."
"They certainly are"
"Nop."
"What relation are they, then, smarty2
"Brothers and sisters, of course"
Agrippinus studied fully five minutes
before he found the combination.-Sun
Francisco Examiner.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06

The shipments of California canned
fruit from san Francisco during the
present season to England have reached
V5, j33 cases.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
A Crushing BLOW.

"May 1 look through your waste
basket" inquired the young man, enter
ing timidly.
:'Certainly," said the editor. "What
do you want to fnd."
ga little poem on Mortality that I
sent in yesterday"
"My dear sir. that poem was accepted
and will appear to- o-morrow. Twill draw
you check for $50, and I assure you
But he spoke to lite}ess ears. The
young man had fallen to the floor. The
Shock had killed him. Chicago Tribune.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.

She Scored One-She Felt Wretched
About 1.-THE Other String
. the Bow-Tough
Etc, Etc.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06
Mercantile Confidence.

"Jimplecute & Co. have failed" said
the confidential clerk of Hardscrabble &
Hardscrabble to the senior partner.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-02-06

Not poor relation precisely, but very
eccentric and old.fashioned one, and the
line eff exclusion had been sharply drawn
when her name was proposed.
The bridegroom ambled about on his
wife's arm perfect sample Of nonenity,
as the majority of bridegrooms are upon
such occasions, and very red and un-
comfortable one in this case.
Fifty-nine times he remarked that the
day was delightfully."- cool one, though
his appearance belied his words, forty
eight times that he had determined to
remain in B., otherwise his converse
tional efforts were confined to "Cm-er.
! Yes-no. Em-m-m."
If any one imagines he can do better
let him test the matter by becoming a
bridegroom himself in a wedding as
semblage of entire strangers.
/ "Do, for PHYS sake, ma, get those
everlasting vases and that row of clocks
packed out of sight before we come
back" SAID Mrs. Julia, rs she was put.
ting on her travelling wrap, "and if you
could contrive to let those horrible Allen
vases get broken I shall be perfectly
happy. Eight clocks-the idea! could
choke Capt. Parmalec."
"Never mind, dear" whispered Mrs.
Clutterby; tblessed be secondhand
shops. After this has blown over lit
tie we can send the whole batch away
for exchange. Of course, it won't pay
expense, but then"
Rice and slippers were thrown after
the carriage, Mrs. Clutterby shed ma.
ternal tear of propriety as her daughter
departed from the paternal roof, the
guests departed to indulge In various
comments as soon they were out OF ear
shot, and the Clutterby wedding became
a thing of the past.-Phts55urg Chronlele.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-05-04
me CoR,ritutionally Tired.


The sub ect of loafing is prolific one
If any person is inclined to treat it in
all OF its bearings, but the Saunterer has
only space at this time to refer to the
number Of haunts that the listless and
idle have. They will invade the busiest
places, and occupy the time Of all who
are good natured enough to listen to
their wretched dribble. They are pre-
pared to criticise everybody and every
thing about them, and though they
have been notorious failures in all they
have undertaken, owing to their indo-
lence, they are always ready to say how
much better they could do the work
which really industrious people are per
forming TO the best of their ability.
The Saunterer has often noticed that
apothecary shops are favorite lounging-
places for the constitutionally tired,
and he has wondered if the fatal mis-
takes that druggists some times make
are not the result of an attention dis
tracted by the remarks of some hanger
on, who has nothing to do but retail the
senseless gossip of the hour.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-05-04
Scientific American

Dr. Draper, of the meteorological Oh
servatory at Central park, New Yorl
city, has called attention TO the fact
that during the past eight years there
has been an apparent connection be.
tween the death-rate from pneumonia
in New York and the presence of Z. one
in the atmosphere. The epidemic has
been particularly fatal during the pres
ent year, aud it Is stated on good AL
thority I'll the death-rate from this
cause has ceeded that from cholera ia
1854. |, has not been determined
whether the connection between the
disease So the ozone in the air is sim
ply a coincidence, or whether there are
scientific reasons for their joint APP
pearance.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-05-04
The LIME KILN CLUB.
4 Witch Craft Case ''Tooken Up a
DispOsCd of

\ Witch Craft Case 'ToOken Tp'' and
Disposed of.
de case Of Brudder James Warren, Of
Miner Hill, Tenn, VIII be fust TOKEN up,n
said Brother Gardner as he opened the meet.
ing and winked TO Elder TOots 10 push
another empty herring box into the stove
~Brudder Warren claims dat he am bewitched,
an he has written 10 dis club 70 ask it 20 do
sunthin' 20 drive de evil speerits away 1t has
got to sich a pass dat de witches take his ole
mule outer de BAN at night an ride him all
Ober de kentry, an Brudder Warren feels
speerit hands passin' ober his face an puIlin
his h'ar o nights. Dis club Will do suuthin'
for him. II he war a local member we'd cure
him In about ten minits. As he am an honor
airy, an fur away, we shall cross his name of
de books an send him ofIishul notis dat he am
a bounced man.
Il hev repeatedly referred to dis matter q
superstishun, an if members can't be en-
lightened dey kin be fired out. De day Of
ghosts, hObgObhns an witches has passed
away, an dc Guild man who can't believe i
has no bizness i'm dis club Mebbo daI' was
time when witches went chasin' round lie
kentry on an old raw boned mule, sraTia peO-
pie half 70 death an lcaviu' "a trail of fab am
smoke but things hey changed. De wedder
hain't right fur EN- now, an le purleece give
'em de collar an send 'cm 10 de wOrkhOuse"
htbot NptfTlJ hduu0 hrE hiu laIu on bIuu-
der Warren, but / doubt IT, ! guess Tonnes
see whisky had a good deal 90 do wild il. Al
o you just listen 10 me when 1 say dat lie fust
complaint of speerit hands in Detroit Will be
Tollered by scene 10 make somebody's heart
ache! BE keerful how unknown hands pull
yer ha'r. De member of dis club who sees
witch had better keep powerful quiet about II
or hell be turned obeT to de kickin' commit
tee 20 bC dealt wild. DE seckretary viii wIite
% Brudder Warren dat we hev dun suntEin'
fur him, an notify our branches at Chatta
nooga an Knoxville dat lac has bin fired. -
Detroit Free Pres
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-05-04
Shaved with Sharp Shells.

Tho South Sea barber Is never at loss
for shop or utensils. nor Is one at loss
to find a barber where all alike are ca
pable of perpetrating a shave, hair cut or
shampoo, the only difference being that
some do it worse than others. Ills shop
is always with him-aU he wants Is some
thing for a seat-and as in operating he
himself stands he does not feel the same
lively repugnance that his patient does to
resting on a spray of coral. His soap he
finds in the large fruit of a vine that
grows everywhere in the bush and along
shore; broken open and dipped in water
salt or fresh is all one-it produces,
when rubbed upon the face, fine,
creamy lather that looks all that could be
desired but which, in fact, is a vain de-
fusion, as it cultivates no intimate &C
quaintance with the skin or hair.
The shells on the beach afford that
against which he cuts when he is not
gashing the tender skin of the white
man; his shark S tooth razor is at hand,
snugly wrapped in a leaf and slowed in
the perforation of one ear, the balance
being restored by carrying his tobacco
and pipe similarly situated in the other.
When the operation is over the lather is
swabbed out of the mouth. eyes and other
cavities with a wisp of grass, the ashes of
another bunch of grass are carefully
rubbed over the face to prevent the hem
orrhage which seems inevitable to the
victim, and finally head and face are
washed with a shaddock as big as a can
talope, whereof half is held in either
hand of the operator and the head of the
victim between. AS an abstract fact in
economic botany it may be stated that
the juice of this shaddOck is not pleasant
upon raw flesh.
Sometimes the barber finds that relic
that civilization always leaves upon the
path over which it has passed, the broken
bottle. Then he advances a step toward
luxury in shaving, the acme Of which Is
reached when he can use piece of hoop
iron.
There is one good point about him, and
that is that he does not talk; yet even
this is blunted by the fact that ne usually
sings monOtonously. Some few words of
his weird, wild and lonely chants as the
nearer succeeds in catching cause chills of
the coolest kind to run up and down his
back as he reflects that but a few years
ago were the days when his barber, in.
stead of shaving, would have cheerfully
engaged in dissecting him with a view to
settling the question of the dinner hour.
Cor. San Francisco Examiner.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-05-04
An florence in D,lic,cv.

at is true" observes NJ. ORen, with
a smile of superiority, that in England
you find soap in hotel bedrooms. but
English people and their American
cousins will perhaps be surprised when
We tell them that a French gentleman
would feel perhaps as much repugnance
20 using n wcll-worn cake of hotel soap
as an tnglishman would feel to putting
IN his mouth toothbrush that he hap
Pcnod 10 find on the dressing table of a
lodging house. We will even venture
70 add that many French ladies carry
uolca"y 30 far "a To take their own bed
hnon with thom ON thoir journeys.
Junbo's heart weighed 600 pounds
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-05-04
HAWAIIAN FOREIGN OFFICE LIST.

dA d'Afar D. A, Diplomatic Agent; Con
ssoner; Consul Generals C. A., Commercial Agent;
c., Consul; A. c.. Acting Consult v c. Vice Consul
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-05-04

JHmIo's heart weighed 600 pounds.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-05-04

The Daily p c. Advertiser and Weekly Gazette
ne Newspap ers n he
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1889-05-04

COUNTRY.
UNITED STATES.
Washington, -. G. His
New York, +. +
San Francisco, ID. A
Boston, Law
Portland, O., IJOhI
Port Townsend, Jam
Philadelphia,
MEXICO,
Mexico, Col.
Ana
ManZanillO, Rob
CENTRAL IL SOUTH
AMERICA.
Valparaiso, Oav
Lima, h. Z
CCallao, SyIv
Colon, Hen
Guatemala, Hen
Monte Nideo, Com
Assumption, A. y
GREAT BRITAIN &
IRELAND. Abrf
London, Sidn
Man
Liverpool, Hare
Bristol, Mar
Hull, w. J
Newcastle on Z. b
Tyne,
Falmouth, w. 5
Dover and the F. v
Cinqne Ports,
Cardiff IL Swan HyaI
sea,
Edinburgh and Z. q
Leith,
Glasgow, Jam
Dundee, j. G.
Dublin, X. j
Queenstown, G.. b
Cork,
Belfast, w. A
CANADA.
Ottawa, 9. l.
Montreal, Dick
Toronto, Col.
Rockville, Ont, j. ID,
Hamilton, Ont, A. b
hingstown, Ont, q. Il
Rimouski, O., j. \.
st. Johns, y. b. A. .
Halifax, \. S,
Yarmouth, y. $, L. f,
Victoria, b. c., X. z
Vancouver, Is. c.,
AUSTRALASIA.
Sydney, y. 5. W., Erne
Newcastle, " ii. E
Melbourne, Wet. Capt
brisbane, O., \. b
Hobart, Ias., Capt
LauncestOn, Tas. Geo.
Auckland, n. L., d. b
Dunedin, n. L., II. ID
HONGRONG, hon,
SHANGHAI, }. j.
GIBRALTAR, IL. ~
FRANCE x Colo
MES.
Paris, AlfrC
Marseilles, A. G,
Bordeaux, +. de
ROuen, 10. SC
SpgTETy GHOT-p
Papeete, Tahiti, ]. L.
GERMANY Il Colo
MES.
Berlin,
Hamburg, L. +,
Rremen, j. +.
Fran horton u. he
Maine,
Dresden, \. +,
Karlsruhe, ii. y
SPAIN & COLONIES.
Maurid,
Barcelona, 4. NJ
- ~
CadiZ, q. 81
Valencia, '. 81
Malaga, K. l.
Oartageha' y L
CANARY ISLANDS.
Las BalmaS, l.. I
y %;
santa Cruz de la B. NJ
Palma,
PORTUGAL u COLO
MES
L soon, A. +
OpOrto, n l
MADEIRA, ) . n
-, Mlchae's' a. - -
81 'IuCeh1 - ~
tIALY' -,
Lo'ne' : !. ~ ~
S--C''' - =
= d pie l. -
IhIeFmo' A. Ii
VI -HEhLANDs.
Aula teIu"tl Us
boIurecAt J. u
5 f 659sSs 4 NORWAY Z '.
Smyrna times., 1889-01-09

SUICIDE OF A CLERGYMAN WHO Fop.
MERLY LIVED IN WILMINGTON.-T
Rev; Fielder Israel, former pastor of
Che First Unitarian Church of VIII
mlngton, committed suicide in the
study of his church at Salem, Mass. on
Friday night last He was on hoard
The transport Maryland when she was
recently burned at New York. and
with others narrowly escaped with his
life. 1t is thought that the excitement
at that time had done much to de-
throne his reason.
The deceased was pastor of one of the
oldest parishes in New England. the
First Church at Salem. He went to
that parish from Wilmington in Dec
1876. Born and raised in the Meth
odist Episcopal Church, he never lost
the fervOr of his early religious life.
lie was Marylander, having been
born in Baltimore in 1927. During the
war he lived in that city and was pas
tor Ofthe Calvert Street NJ. E. Church.
lie was staunch Unionist aud dis
played silk flag from his residence at
time when it was dangerous to be
known as loyal American.