The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-12-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Many an old flame has caused a run
away match.
The wings of the house were surprised
when the chimncy-hue.
On the creased pole of success there's
always room at the top.
The hair around lions neck is his
name protection. IrdCetor.
A syndicate of cattlemen has a perfect
right to water its stock.-Rochestor Post
Erpress.
Landlady-"How do you like your
eggsln New Boarder-"F Fresh. '-Bos-
ton Courier.
care you with mel" said the thief.
'No, you're with me, said the detective,
as he ran him in.
The dry goods clerk eau go on tear
every time he sells yard of muslin
Merchant 7taoeler
Frequently late election returns seem
to come very properly from outlying dis
tricts. Merchant Ifdreter
'See Miss Forty dancing so confdingly
with young Downs" "Yes-old head
ON young shoulders. Time.
Tom-'Leave me alone with my
thoughst.' Jack-'You'll be dreadfully
lonesome, old fellow. - Yankee Bidde.
Never Judge a man by the clothes he
wears. If you want to form an opinion
of him, find out whether he has paid for
them. m.-LDc.
In the Rcstauront,-'A cup of coffee,
please, but without chiccory.o ''Whatl
Do you want clear water, then2"-Flie.
geade Blaeter.
There's only one man in a thousand they say,
Who correctly whistles tune
But evry man thinks he's that one alas!
And Fuckers his mouth like a loon.
-Nei0 York Journal.
Waiter-''H Haven't you forgotten some-
thing, sir3n Customer (dazed) d)-"Why,
| thought | gave you the customary tip"
Waiter-'You did, SIR; but you forgot
to cat. .n-FUck.
"Why did you refuse to paint young
Cowboys picture" ''Because if didn't
make a good picture of it, he wouldn't
take it; and if | painted him as he is, he
would shoot me down in cold blood
An ostrich once had for a basis
OF operations an oasis.
He'd yell and he'd laugh
At the timid giraffe
And scare him to death making faces.
Young People.
Unfortunate Agreement. -''What are
your children quarrelling about so CON
tinuallyD "Why, you see, they are SO
of one heart and one mind Whatever
one wants the other always wants, too
-Fiieglade Biaetter.
Mr.. Dumpscy Cto the wife Of his bosom)
Maria here, I've gone and sat down
in that chair | vanished for you this
morning" Mrs. Dumpsey- Well, for
once you've stuck 10 your work. n-BHr-
Lagtoa (Tt) Free Press.
Many a woman dusts billiard chalk of
her husbands coat with great big drops
of tears in her beautiful eyes as she re-
fleets how hard and how late he has to
work at his desk close to that nasty
whitcwashcd wall.-Riebmond Recorder.
The clock struck twelve Darling,
will YOU love me when I'm gone" II
can safely say yes, Mr.. Smithers, because
it doesn't look now as if you would ever
90, ~ replied the young lady. And then
Smithers knew his case was hopeless
Ba.ar,
Mr.. Oldboy-''My dear, when is your
birthday!n Mrs. Oldboy Why,
james, the idea of your not knowing,
The 4th of November Why do you
ask!' Mr.. Oldboy-"W Well, I've lost my
silk umbrella, and | was thinking it
would be a good idea to get you one for
birthday present
A Burlington boy, of the underth
sofa variety pinned his sisters beau's
sleeve to her sash, and then told his fa-
/ ther there was a man in the parlor who.
wished to speak TO him. There was no.
end of fun for about two minutes, and itI
| all turned out for the best, too, The
young man proposed ON the spot, and the
/ very next night he brought the bad boy
Jack knife aud two omRges, BWliag-
ten free Pres.