Morning journal and courier., 1889-08-24
KNOWLEDGE.

'Look, Lizziel that man is 8 Jasgerite. Re has not one thing that is not made of wool" Anyone would know that by the smell of the cigar he is smoking. -Fliegends Blatter.
 A Royal Object of Pity.-Mrs. Fangle- eTm sorry for Queen Victoria for one thing" Mir. Fangle-"What is that." Mrs. Fangle -"Everybody knows her age"- Epoch.
 "The Tyre has resumed it's place in music, | I see." "What do you mean2" "Why, there | is Jaysmith singing Eve Fifteen Dollars in My Inside Pocket when the fact is he hasn't l dime. e."-Drake's Magazine. A Rare Entertainmsnt.-Gus-" did you think of our amateur theatricals, Miss Aamies Rather rare entertainment, was it nott' Miss Mamie e-" Weller er-yes; it wasn't very we'll done, to be sure. ."-Harpsr's Bazar.
 Mir. N. Psok.-I think if anyone is enti- tied to pension it's me. Mudge-You were never in the war. were youa MT. N. Peck-No, but the fellow my wife was en- gagged to was killed at Shiloh.-Terre Haute Express.
 "You can't think how smart that dog is. You can say everything to him exactly as you would to a man." ttBut will he under
 standi" "Oh, I did not say that. You
 mustn't ask too much of dog, you know" I-Fliegende Blatter.
 "Mr Benson, wuz much pained ter heah | ob de sudden death cb yer wife. Did dey | hole post mortem 'zaminationf Dsy did, | sah, Mr. Wills; but dey didn't hop it till l arter she died. Fool doctah might CT knowed | he couldn't sabs her life den."-Time. Wife-"Just think, I have sat here and | seen man going after man into that saloon l over there" Husband-'You're right That's just what there doing-every man l who enters there will assure you that he is going in after another man."-Detroit Free Press.
 A sect has been discovered in Alabama | whose members pay all their debts. It is | strange what impracticable ideas will get l into peoples heads now and again. First 1 thing you hear, it will be that half the mem-
 bers have neglected to pay their initiation fee.-Boston Transcript. ] An active sense: Teacher-"How do we tell if anything is sweet or soura" Pupil "By the sense of taste." Teacher-"And how do you distinguish colorsl" Pupil
 "By the sense of touch" Teacher-"You
 can't feel colors, can youi" Pupil-"Yes; don't you sometimes feel blue?"-Omsha orld-Herald.
 Completely Assured.-Omaha papa-"So
 you are going to marry, are you, my sons I presume the young lady you are to wed
 knows all about housswork and looking after ! the wants of q familyi" Omaha youth
 "Well, you just bet she does I wish you
 could see cotton batting dog she made last | week, and some butterflies che painted on ] velvet. ."-Omaha World.
 "How the world was made," is being dis
 cussed in scientific magazine. We know.
 They got all the cash subscriptions along the line they sould, then bouded so much as
 they could build with that money for all the
 rest of 1t, watered the stock like deluge and
 rushed it through before anybody could get
 out an injunction. Then the English came
 along ana goC hold ot it, as usual.-Brooklyn
 Eagle.
 "Here, sonny, hold my horse," said gen.
 tleman as he alighted from carriage on
 Washington street the other day. "Hss he
 had his oats ter-day, sirs" asked the boy as
 he hesitsted. "Had his oatsa What has that
 to do with its' inquired the gentleman in
 surprise. "Well, yer see, sir, de las time
 hung onto hoss he eat de straw hat off me
 head, and only got nickle, and a hckin' 1 when got home. Put up quarter an I'll
 take de risk" The boy got the quarter Boston Herald.
 When burning Sol the torrid days Upon rains his burning rays And flaming is the air, What happiness amidst the heat A cold and naughty girl to meet | To freeze us with her stare, | Boston Courier.