Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-03-29
Uncle Mates Trouble.

Uncle Nate Richardson had 1851 Ms
teeth. His family having desire that
the husband and father should present
good appearance IA we'll rs TO masti-
cate his food in becoming manner,
expostulated and argued with him day
and night on the propriety OF securing
set OF false ones.
"Gums are good enough for me yet,
Mrs. Richardson.
but. Nathaniel, you'll look so much
better" pleaded Mrs. Richardson.
Good looks; that, Mrs. Richardson,
Is carrying the thing too far. Hem!
Mrs. Richardson, l wish you would let
this matter drop" And the old man
stalSed TO the barn and muttered under
his breath to the dashing black colt his
son John drove to town,
Time passed on, and in spite OF Uncle
Mats muttering and his grumbling the
family finally won him over, and no
was fitted TO AS fine set OF teeth as the
town could furnish. And now began
tribulation in the Richardson family.
The new teeth worried Uncle Nate.
They made him homesick He fell TO
taking them out before company, TO rest
his Jaws he said. He shed them in the
most unheard-of places. He carried
them about in his pocket. He left them
in fence corners and on pantry shelves.
He had way OF rafting them about in
his mouth at table that made the family
sigh and cast despairing chances at each
other.
After some time, however, prospects
began TO brighten somewhat in the
Richardson family. Uncle Nate grad
ually came TO be less annoyed by the
new order OF things, and all began to
hope for smoother sailing. One day
! Uncle Nate started for town. His wife
was with him. Suddenly he turned
the cd horse around in the middle of
the road. Il say, Mrs. Richardson.
We must go back. I've forgotten 'em.
Forgotten what?" salSed Mrs. Rich
ardson anxiously.
"Why, them teeth"
why, Nate, | supposed you had
! EN- said Mrs. Richardson soothingly.
mo; they're down in the back lot on
the fence, and they're eaten up by this
time. | haven't doubt of it, Your
| brindle COW Is up 10 such tricks"
"Well, Nathaniel, suppose we can
60 back and get 'em; there's time
enough"
"Of course there's time enough"
1t ended in Uncle Mates going back
to the house and dispatching Nathaniel,
Jr., the first grandchild Of the family,
and pretty May, the youngest daughter,
TO the back lot TO find the missing arti-
Giles.
Uncle Mates exploits and miShaps
were SO numerous that teeth" finall Y
came TO be word Of reproach in the
! family. They even learned to designate
! important events rs happening before
father got his teeth, alter father got
his teeth" etc, the date forming an
epoch in the family history.
But all trials end some time.
One day, about the middle Of the fore
noon, Mrs. Richardson, busy in the
kitchen, WAS accosted by ragged
tramp who wanted something 10 eat.
"And Place, ma'am, an old coat or a
vest would come handy, seein' as ] an,
out at the elbows entirely"
There, now" said Mrs Richardson
TO herself, there's fathers old coat; |
shall be glad TO have it out OF Me way.
I've been trying TO get rid OF it, but he
| WOuluIl utbI vi IL OF, adAln1 IL
from the nail in the kitchen, she gave
1t to the tramp.
Half an hour later she went to the
home OF sick neighbor. Shortly
after Uncle Nate, who had been out re-
pairing fences, came in.
Where's your maj"
"Gone TO Mrs. Smiths said May.
seen anything OF my teeth?"
"No, father"
"Whare's my yellow coat? 1t hung
In the kitchen when ] vent away"
May searched for the missing article.
Uncle Nate explored cupboard5 and
looked under beds; searched the wood
house; opened Mrs. Richardson's best
bureau drawers and tumbled their con-
fonts onto the bed.
While he was hopping the prespira-
tion from his forehead he spied his wife
coming up the walk
where's my yellow coat, Mrs. Rich
ardson?"
"Why, father, it was getting so old
and worn, | gave it 10 a tramp this
morning"
Gave it to n tramp, you did, Mrs.
Richardson My teeth were in that
coat pocket! Why don't you give away
your silk dressP Why don't you give
away Nathaniel Richardson, Jr., your
grandchild? Why don't you give away
the house and the pianop Gave it to a
tramp! And my teeth gone, too.
Where is he? Which way did he go?
Run. May, and head him off,
The hired man was called up and
rode away in the direction the tramp
had taken, while each member of the
family sent up an ardent prayer that
his search for the tramp would be UNI
successful. When he returned half an
hour later without the coat, teeth OF
tramp the silent tokens of rejoicing in
the Richardson family were not feign-
ed. Even Uncle Nate seemed reconcil-
ed and stopped Worrying A. ID. Nash,
in Detroit Free Press.
How DOnnelly Labels His Bombs.