Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1889-05-17
MIX. AND MRS. BowsER.


49, 1ANll ID NV lllt NUbt-n DhlllIu-
arly. He is simply the average husband
out beng eRotistical. And If any one
obstinate, l wish TO disabuse his mind on
that point Mr.. Bower never comedies
to me, but that isn't obstinacy. That is |
simply the way Of all husbands.
The other morning ] asked Mr.. Bowser |
II he wouldn't send up carpenter TO |
hang the scresn-door to the kitchen and,
after moments thought, he replied:
"Pm in 10 hurry this morning and I'll
hang 1t mysell."
But it's got to have spring on, you
know"
"Well, what Of itl"
Gan you-you-W
al L can't want to be knocked
on the head for an idiot pve put on
more door and gate-springs than you've
got hairs In your head"
He 20. the door down from the loft,
and after rum ng up and down and
backwards and forwards for half an
hour his assortment OF tools consisted OF
two saws, an augGr, brace and bit,
plane, screw driver and screws, q
square, compass, mitre.box aud tape
line.
docs 1t require all those tools 10 hang
a screen door I" queried.
at may and 1t may not" he replied.
Scan assist you in any way"
"CAn you assist mel Mrs. Bowser, you
talk rs il you didn't regard me as half
bakedl When j want your valuable
assistance I'll send you word on postal
card n
Iretired Ia good order and remained
out OF sight twenty minutes. When l
returned he had the door on aud seemed
very well satisfied.
"You'l have to make a slight change
in that, Mr.. Bowser."
SLOW Z"
"You've hung It top 10 bottom"
~ have, Ell! Ill bet you $4,000, 900
10 cent / haven't"
"Well, look at the knob and the catch
and moldings on the panels"
lie was fairly beaten, and he realized
1t. but instead OF acl now Lodging the corn
he looked at IL for moment and then
quietly said:
81 slipped it on that way TO sec If you
would notice it, but you'd have let it pass
If j hadn't called your attention to Ill
In the course OF half an hour he made
the change and was putting on the spring
when / came back.
He had never put spring on door in
his life, and it would not have detracted
| from his dignity to ask my advice, but
he would have died first. He meae urtd
| for 1t and began to bore hole for the
screen. After he had worked for two or
| three minutes | asked;
"Mr. Bowser, which way are you turn-
| ing that gimletP
what do you mean" he demanded,
as he stopped work.
| "You have been turning to the left"
"Of course havel Whoever heard OF
turning boring tool any other wayF
"a have. You may work all day thai
way and not accomplish anything. Thai
gimlet and all other gimlets turn to .h'
right" .,,,.
havei You bad better deliver series o
lectures on mechanism"
"Will you turn TO the rightf'
t'No, ma'aml'
He bored and bored, determined not t.
give In, ard at length pushed Lin
aside, and turned the Gimlet to the righ
and had 1t into the wood in no time.
"Didn't tell you so, Mr.. BOwseTi'
DWELL, the man who made that glmle
daearuas Stata nrisnni It's the fret one
ever saw that lurued to the right, and
had seen millions of them before yo
were borp."
"Can you put the spring on alone"
"Mrs. Bowser,' lie answered, afte
plarIng at me in a chilled steel way 10
hall a minute, "per5aps / ought to be i
! the idiot asylum, and perhaps DO know
enough TO come IN when 1t rains Yo
will oblige me very much by going int
the house and knocking that squallinl
young'un on the head. +"
1t was half an hour before | dare'
make an excuse to get olt again. j!
that time Mr.. Bowser had the sqrIng Oh
but the door stood open instead of shut
He was standing in a deep study
81 know what ais 1t, MIR. Bowser."
GLOW sh ewd'
''When you tishtened the spring nj
you turned II to the right That throw
The door open. If you'll tigh en- to th
left, the door will spring shut"
He sat down on the steps and looked q
me with twelve different shades OF iron.
and sarcasm IN his expression, aud final
deigned to reply:
"Where did you learn all you know 2
"Wnl you fix that spring as l lei
your"
"No, ma'am. WON'T l'ye been look
! inr It over, and know Shere the troubl
IA, los spring for leit-hand door
| should have seen II at tic outset If Aol
/ hadn't been botheiin around"
81 can make that spring work on thi
door"
e "Mrs. Bowser, l wouldn't have you
g conCet for no money. No wonder 20
haven't single friend in this neighbJI
hood"
al have all want, and l can fix tho
spring in two minutes"
. "Ntyerl You simply want I'm oppol
:. tunity to break it. You'd tear the Who'll
kitchen down for the sake of earryin
your point. Go in and maui that howl
g.. ing baby come more"
/ grabbed the wrench from his hands
, loosencd the spring and then turned
the other way, and lol The door shut an
was held still IN Its place, as WIS de
! signed.
!, "There what"
, "The spring shuts the door"
J. 81 don't see II. i"
! "But looki Did you ever sec 10.
, work nicer?
1T DOESN'T work at al"
J, "But see"
81 see ruined door, just as eXpecte
to see, and no " must get an entire ne
! screen! Mrs. Bowser, l have borne frol
! YOU until the limit is about reaehet
Don't provoke me to desperation. HUI
h bands rendered desperate by persislci
!, and malicious naggng layo been know
Il to rlse at midnight and wipe out t.
!. whole family"
Telephone Call No. 5i5
3 | LII. ..... ....-..a 10 nrInr AEns II