Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-10-08
A JOKE ON CLERGYMEN.
How "a Newspaper Man Upset a Carfui of
Preachers In Washington

n a
Preachers in Washington
IL Is wrong TO play jokes on the clergy
and only very sinful people ever do IL. There
Is an ex-neVspaper man, well known on the
How, who wears the smuggest face. the min
isterial air and the most clerical spectacles Of
any man in the business During a recent
convention, which drew several bundred
clergymen 20 Washington. Mack that isn't
his namel got into Fourteenth street car
full OF ministers, stumbled half way I'D che
aisle, and ciught the eye of a fellow news
paper man
why, Brother Thompson, how do you
dor he exclaimed, grasping his hand and
shaking it effusively. Mack sat across the
aisle and started a running conversation
which coulC be heard all over the car
Let me zee, Brother Thompson; haven't
seen you sitce the triennial conclave at Chau-
tauqua In lST3. How is your Buffalo charge
getting alongf How is Mrs Thompson9 Did
you get your salary raisedi Nof That is too
bad. did | worked my congregation nice
Iy. | had friend in Cleveland who is on
the staff OF a secular newspaper and he was
inscriptions enough TO work up a boom for
me there until received an offer of 5000
OF course my congregation wasn't going to
be outbid-ha, ha-and they saw that S., 900
and went them 81 900 better That was i'm
May, one year ago"
The whole car was attention by this time
and Mack vas the focus of thirty pairs of GU
rious eyes.
Along in June ! sat for my portrait.
get 10 per cent. gross on those, you know.
What do you geti Nothing9 Oh, dear,
Brother Thompson, you really neglect your
opportunities Let me see received from
oh, Pas,. Il.
amount was lost in a Whisper But these
portraits were very bad They made me
look thin and careworn. sent four dozen
Of chem around to the dear ladies, and it
would have done your heart good to see how
they worI ed and raised $500 to send their
pastor off to Europe. | hear you are think
ing of taking a new chargel Is it sol Want
to have a chance TO work over your old ser
mons. Been eight years in one placeI Well
don't anne you. | can't very well You
see have made good many investments in
my city, ana 1t would neceSsitate too many
sacrifices to break the old ties. Still there
are other ways. | succeeded in negotiating
an exchange OF $50 sermons for an admirable
series by DIR. Scott, of San Francisco. The
good mar was much pleased at the exchange.
There, Il ere, oh, dear, dear have Just
called to mind that family which has been
in my ch lrch for ten years has Just moved
to San Francisco and is going TO join Dr.
Scott's church. They may remember those
sermons Oh, dear, it may make trouble for
Or. Scot"
Mack chuckled and poked Brother Thomp-
som in the ribs with his umbrella. 1t was
rainy day.
Where is your umbrella. Brother Thomp-
SOM Is that it, That's not the sort of um-
brella yJu ought to have Look at mine
The finest of silk and an elegant silver handle.
| don't Know whether you ever noticed, but
| always have nice umbrellas You see,
mine Is fashionable church and there are
always 4 good many strangers at divine ser.
vice. | have Hu arrangement with the sex.
ton to pick out ON rainy SUNDAYS the best
umbrella left in the veStibule and put IL
away fer me. The regular pewholders al
ways uike theirs into the pews and only
strangers leave umbrellas in the vestibule so
| never have any trouble about umbrellas
All, hers is my street Good-by, Brother
Thompson Come and see me when you can
Good-by."
A ba Del of whispers ran around the car
and indignant glares followed the pseudo
clergyn an. One venerable party came down
to Brother Thompson" and, notebook In
hand, asked the name of "that clergyman
Brother Thompson struck his forehead with
his clinched fist, hut for his life could not
locate the talkative preacher, and to escape
cross-ex animation left the car at the next
corner y ashington Post