Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-06-29
Saturday SmileR.

The language OF deaf mute is a thing that
goes without saying.-Puck.
Clerk-"Mr. Daybook, would like leave of
absence this afternoon to attend the funeral
of a cousin"
Mr. Daybook (next morning)-"What was the
score, JOhn."-Ne,1 York Sun.
The tombstone is abont the only thing that
can stand upright and lie on its face at the
same time.-Ter7e Hade Express
Politeness varies. When a distinguished
citizen enters your home you do not ask him
to .'take a seat on the floor" but if he should
visit Congress or the legislature it is considered
just the thing to do.-Toronto Globe.
A tailor being asked if the close of the year
made him sad said yes, until the clothes of the
year are paid for Texas Siftu,gs.
Madame-,'Do up my, hair, Felice, while I
am down to breakfast"
Felice-''Yes. madame; which COLOR"
Madame-'The black, please-I am going to
funeral "-Binghdmpton hpublicdn.
St. Peter Ito new arrival at the pearly gate)-
''Do you want to come imp
New Yorker-"what's the Iimit?'-Smddy
Dispatch.
Chicago sport-"Our basebalists have be-
come too honest for any use. all of q sudden"
Friend-"Why do you think sop
Sport-"Of late not one of them can be in
duced to even steal a base. "-Chicdgo Globe.
A WALL
Oh, now the rich mans cycling
In grief his golden hoard;
Twill soon be spent in buying
Cheap country board
Miss Cadaladder-"Why is it my dear, that a
man, generally speaking, loves his wife more
before he marries her than he does after?''
Mrs. Heavyhart-.Bec she isn't his wife
before he marries er."-lMeas Wear.
western farmer is represented as saying
that it is better to be struck by lightning than
BIZ a lightning-rod agent. He has never been
struck by lightning, and 80 his experience
however sad, is one-sided.- Louisville Recorder
Mr. snagsby-''Your friend Miss Rapid has
been treating me very Ill. She called me an
old fool just now"
Miss Sharp-'How silly Of you to notice IT,
when you know you are not thirty yet."-Scrlb-
nr's.
Whisky was first made in kentucky for me-
dicinal purposes; but our climate is so health
full that the distilleries would be highly unprof-
liable if they were to confine themselves to
medicine whisky. Let scoffers remember this
Louisville Coa0ie'-Jo,0aal
1t appears from the society columns Of St
Louis morning paper that ga popular young
lady" is going to visit her kinslady." I'm
doubtediy that breaks the record. Yellowpush
himself couldn't have even imagined its.
Louis Republic.
II is soberly related that youthful married
couple, whose name shall be kept q sacred 90 t.
| cret in these columns, whose house has recently
been glorified by the addition of fac-simile Of
the beautiful little mother, decided 10 have the
christening service at home. Avenerable min
lister was called to oficiate. He took the babe
in his arms very affeetionately and addressed
in paternal fashion few words Of advice TO
| the young parents. sSee that you train up
this child in the way he should 60; that you
surround him with the best influences, and
| that you give him . good example. II you do
| so, who knows but he may become John
Wesley or a George whitefeld? What Il his
name?" 'Nellie, sir" replied the mother
Bostcn Tr1csieg,.