The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-30
MARX TWAIN ON WARTS.

The Warts We're on Him Once-He Tells
How to Remove Them.
Mark Twain has written to The New York
Sun as fc flows:
l find the following suggestive derelict
wandering about the ocean of journalism:
'rd give thousand dollars said a well
to do New Yorker the other day, Ito have
that mark removed" and he held out
well shaped and well cared for
hand, ON the back of which, between
the thumb and first finger, was tat
tooed big blue anchor. "When l was a
little fool at school, with my head full of
stories Of adventure, my highest ambition
was to go TO sea. An old sailor who lived in
the village tattooed about dozen of US on
the sly, and / remember the lies l told my
mother, as kept my hand done up in a rag,
pretending had cut it,. till the sore healed.
Then she gave me such thrashing as broke
up my plan, fortunately, to have fine red
and blue heart done ON the back Of the other.
The Disagreement has caused me no end Of
annoyance since and has cost me considerable
money for gloves, which always wear, win
ter and summer, though | detest them in
warm weather But man can't wear
gloves at the table, and often at restaurants
l catch people staring at my hand and l Won
der if they think have served my term in
the focastle of some oyster scow or lumber
schooner"
A tattoo mark is easily removed May
drop into personal historyi When l was a
small boy had my share of warts l triea
in turn the three hundred and sixty-eight
ways Of removing them, but without results;
indeed, l seemed to get wartier and wartier
right along. But at last somebody revealed
to me the three hundred and sixty-ninth
way, and ] tried it. Thus: / drove a needle
down into the basement of the wart; then
held the other end of the needle in the flame
of a candle some little time; the needle be-
came red hot throughout its length, and pro-
raeded to cook the wart Presently l drew
he needle cut; if it had white atoms like nits
licking about its point, that wart was done;
II the point was clear, drove ii in again and
cooked till l got those white things. They
were the roots of the wart. Twenty-four
hours later the wart would become soft and
fabby, and 1 removed it with a single wipe
Of my hand Where it had been was a smooth
surface now, which quickly healed and left
no scar. Within two days l was wartless
and have so remained unto this day.
Well, g. long time afterward, when was
16 years old, sailor tattooed an anchor and
rope on the back of my left hand with India
ink. The color was deep, dark blue and
extravagantly conspicuous. 1 was proud of
it for awhile, but by the time had worn it
nine years was tired of it and ashamed of
it. I could find nobody who could tell me
how to get rid Of it; but at last my wart ex-
perience OF near half generation before oc-
CURED to me, and got me several needles
and candle straightway. I drove the nee
dies along just under the surface of the skin
and tolerably close together, and made them
include the whole tattoo mark; then fired
up on them and cooked that device thor
oughly. Next day 1 wiped the device off
with my hand.
The place quickly healed, and left no scar.
A faint blush tinge remained, and I was
minded to begin again and cook that out; but
as it was hardly detachable, and not notice
able, it did not seem worth the fuel, and SO
left it there, and there it is yet, though I sup
pose am the only member Of my tribe that
knows it.
1 was in London good many years ago,
when the Tichborne claimants case was being
tried, and batch of learned experts testi-
fed that an India ink tattoo mark could not
be removed; but was not asked to testify,
and so those people don't know any better to
this day. Let the "well to do New Yorker
fetch me some needles and a candle and name
his bet. will take him up.