The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1889-10-19
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
The Joys and Sorrows of a Western
Editor.

i ne JOYS ana SoTTO"S CI q ~0SIGTN
Editor.
We extract tho following from the
last issue OF the Arizona Kicker:
MANY THANKS. On Tuesday last We
were seized with an attack of Apache
collie, and within ten minutes from the
time the grip first took hold we were
tied in seven kinds of hard knots and
wanted mulo team to hold us. 1t
should be explained that this collie is
next door door to Asiatic cholera, and
when it takes hold it means business
Mt wholesale rates.
We were seriously i'll for two days
and nights. during which time we had
scores. of callers and our friends were
anxious to extend every aid. During
the ten hours in which it was thought
we must turn up our toes business was
mostly suspended in town, aud our con-
dition was pulletined every fifteen min
utes. Our warmest thanks are due to
our friends and acquaintances and the
public generally. We are now about
we'll again and shall be more careful in
future. This town can't afford to lose
us just now, and we realize moro than
ever that our death would be serious
setback to the entire state.
CoRRECTIoN.-So three weeks
since the Kicker made the statement
that Charley johnson, proprietor of the
Iron Roof whisky hole on Apache
avenue, was driven out OF Tucson for
his general bad character, and we
threw out n suggestion that our
vigilance committee might hit the nail
on the head by attending to his case.
Mr.. johnson has called at the Kicker
Office and shown us letters which salts
| fy US that we made mistake. Instead
of being a bad nun. he is very
humble and contrite individual, perfect
ly willing to be kicked and cuffed
about and he left Tucson because
the people objected to his breath,
which is not exactly identical with
new-mown hay His breath is all right
here, and he proposes to take right
hold and become one of us and aid in
the work of making this town a second
Chicago.
| We DEFY THEM. AT the list ses-
sion OF the Common Council Aid. Jim
jackson got his bow legs under hi n
and stood up to remark that he was in
favor of taking the city printing away
from the Kicker because OF our abuso
of that official body. The city print
ing! Ye gods! All our bill amounts
/ to for the last quarter Is seventy
cents! Yes, we had talked pretty
| plain to the aldermen. There ism an
honest one ir the whole gang. There
isn't a man of them who isn't soaked
in whisky Gwo-thirds of the time, and
who wouldn't lie, cheat, steal, rob or
embezzle on the slightest provocation.
As gang, they ought to be sent TO
state prison on general principles, aud
the sooner the better II the council
imagines that the Kicker will keep still
on them for fifteen cents week it is
making a great mistake
Nor YET.-We are not yet authoriz-
ed to write Up. NJ" after our name,
but we are working hard and will
have the postmastership of this Office
or lose leg. The present incumbent
is bloke of the first water and has
got to let 60 We have written Mr..
Wanamaker several confidential letters
and have forwarded him several COM
munications rejecting public opinion.
and although he seems inclined to
hang off on us, it is only a question of
time when he must give in. We know
that we are the only man in town fitted
to be postmaster, and it will either
come to us or Mr.. Wanamaker will
not last six months.
ALWAYS AT HOME.-Coroner Tom
: Biackman, when summoned to hold an
inquest on the dead body of "Red-
!, headed Perkins, the gambler who
J committed suicide two weeks ago. was
SO befuddled with poor whisky that we
acted like a fool. We had to step in
, and do the business for him, and be-
! cause the Kicker gave him some good
advice in its next issue he is now blow
ing around that he has camped on our
! trail and means to have our life.
Rats! If Tom Blackman wants our
scalp let him come for it. We are al
}. ways at home the whole twenty
} hours through, and we believe that he
can take good care of ourself. He can
J come with shotgun or tomahawk-day
or night-alone or in company. We
shall do our best to drop him before he
! does us, and in case we are asked to
5 hold the inquest on him it shan't cost
the county cent. Wen do even bet.
ter-we'll give him as fine an obituary
/ notice as would cost him 500 il
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