The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1889-09-14
MISCELLANEOUS.

"A Cadiz (O.) cat tried to kill a
ceed. but was choked to death In the
attempt.
The expression "the long and tho
short of it, is never better understood
than when man longs for money
when he is short OF It.
"A citizen OF Charleston, w. Va,
turned over his pillow in arising the
other morning, and found rattlesnake
coiled up and asleep under it.
"A man may not be afraid of danger,
but he looks down in the mouth when
he prepares to descend into u mine. -
Binghamton Republican.
When man affirms that "there's 8
lots OF money in leather" don't dis
pute him--purses ara made of leather.
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
The potato is declared to be deteri-
Grating. AS it is propagated from gem
Grafton to generation instead of from
seed to seed, it seems to be on the de-
cline.
There isnobody living to-day, with
possibly few exceptions, who will
see another year in which the figure
''9' does not appear. Arkansas Tray
eller.
"A persevering parrot in Atlanta
practices new tune every night for a
week till he masters it, to the great
annoyance of the occupants of the
house, who are keptawake by the noise.
AT teachers examination in an
stated in answer to q question that
Chicago was situated in Wisconsin.
He didn't know the size of it, "but
reckoned twas about as big as Column
bus.
-"Deuced unpleasant typographical
error in those invitations to the we'd
ding" said young N. U. Bridegroom.
Chow SOP" anxiously inquired the
bride. "Why, instead of your pres
ence is requested the confounded
printer made it read your presents
are requested IN. Y. Herald.
Shouts the conductor as the train
starts from Chicago: ..All aboard!
Keep in your feet!'' But in spite of
this injunction an elephantine hoof
protrudes here and there from car
window, to smash the first bridge that
gets in the way.-St. Louis Magazine
Two swindlers played u very
shrewd trick on the merchants of Son.
erset Ky. They bought up all the
ginseng they could find, took it to town
and sold it at the nominal price of So
per pound. Upon investigation it was
found the ginseng had been bought
while green, split and a groove made
in the root, which was filled with lead.
Even iron tacks were found stuck into
the ends of the roots.
"A fresh young bride from Ohio
having heard that camphor fumes
would Danish flies, put on her kitchen
range lot of supposed Jumps of cam
phor. They melted and spread out,
and all the flies for squares away came
swarming to them. The despairing
bride consulted an experienced matron
next door, who discovered that the sup
posed camphor was rock candy.
-"Grass is the forgiveness of ma
ture--her constant bcnediction. Fields
trampled with battle, saturated with
blood, torn with the ruts of cannon,
grow green again with grass, and car
mage is forgotten. Streets abandoned
by traffic become grass-grown like
rural lanes and are obliterated. For
ests decay, harvests perish. flowers
vanish, but grass is immortal. Sen
ator ingalls,.
"A Conscientious Official: Lone pas
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS., as am the only
man aboard; and as am going to Six
ty-third street, don't see any need of
your calling out the names of ali these
streets" Conductor (stiffiy)-"Young
man, I'm paid to call out these names
and I'm going to earn my salary. If
you don't like it you can get off. Thir-
ty-fourthr hr-Chicago Tribune.
"A letter which read as follows was
received the other day by the mayor
of Dallas. Texas: "Sir:-I have been
in this city few days. Am car
penter and would like to get some
work and at same time would like to
marry. AS l am a stranger beg you
would assist me in getting a wife. l
have about three hundred dollars laid
up; am not particular as to looks, so
she knows how 10 work. Am Demo-
crat in politics.
Oakland, Md, rejoices in the pos
session of dusky citizen who can not
read, but that lack does not prevent
him from porting over the newspapers
and imagining that he is absorbing in
formation through his fingerends. Not
long ago some official had occasion to
record his name, when the following
colloquy ensued: "What your namew
George Newton Sandomire, Sah."
"How do you spell itP" spell it!
Don't spell it at all. Sab. jist writes
it right down"