The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1889-06-28

am annoyed. but IN sympathy Win tn'
pathos Maggie manages always
10 Undue her time-worn commu-
nIcation with. After ] get through |
signing ! tell Maggie 10 take the
visitors to the draving-room, and say
70 them that shall be down in . few
moments. Then ! 90 on with the read
ing OF ms book You see like them
10 get just tribe impatient. for !
think Il extremely important that the
young people taking such q serious
step should become nervous enough 70
appreciate its significance. II not
facing the exccutioner. they await
him. knowing he Is near; the waiting
also gives the pursuing parent "A
chance for his white alley. - used
| 10 say when Wa boy. Al the end
OF. say ten minutes. ! descend the
stairway 10 the tune OF an ominous
creaking. and enter with all the frigld
dignity can call TO my assistance.
nearly always find the bride IN my
armchair away from the rest, with
her eyes fastened on the carpet the
bridegroom j. trying to look as though
he had been niarred daily for the
past twenty years. and i fore
| ing strained. ocular conversation
with the witnesses. Everybody
looks relieved when they see me
at once drop my dignified look that
j.. to an extent and remark, with an
Air Of solemn iollity: Well. ! think
can guess % what am indebted for
the honor OF this visit The bride
bushes and coyly focuses her eyes On
another figure in the carpet. the wit
ne<-e- look at each other and Utter.
and bridegroom rises and gulps out:
.W-well. er-er-the fact j.. doctor
lI-er-that Is 10 say-this lady oh.
III meant both Of us-together. Of
course want --er-er - get married
| It's out and the poor fellow feels bet
ter. then sternly eye both Of them,
as though would read their inmost
secrets Then ease the strain
BY afably saying: 80 that's i.
is it7 Well. you might do
worse. young people, ! then assure
them that marriages chat i. wise
oneS) ara made IN heaven This -cr II
ment seems as rule 10 have the I'M
I0ualitied Endorsement 81 the contract
ing parties. Then turning 10 the
bridegroom: Now. sir. a word with
you. Let Us step into the next room. !
The bride pouts al this and ASKS If
she can not accompany u. refuse
and she goes on pouting- obtain the
usual details from the young fellow
md We return. Then the ceremony
proper begins Now. Miss Smith.
begin. what j. your fathers name9'
She always answers Mr.. smith.
Nine out OF ten women consider
initials superhuous- When ask her
mothers name -he generally sheds a
tear. I am at a loss 10 know why. but
| il Is fact / always crack little
Joke when ask her age. How old
are you. Miss >mith2 No hesitation.
lnow. YOU should have no secrets from
your doctor. lawyer or minister. II
have made that joke once ! flave-lei
me zee: twenty-five times tifty-two.
ought and carry five: lz5-l. 800 times.
multiplied BY four. the average mum.
. Der per week.. 200 times. Well. o.
those 5. 200 brides could almost AZ.
firm that 5000 laughed at the jcke.
Another thing. they nearly all give
their age last birthday. and look an
, noyed when I make il NEXT bi,thda,
I \ in the certificate. When the declara
: tion j. at an end say TO the bride
! Now. Miss Smith. please sign youl
maiden name for the last time. Tha
/ makes her 20 nervous that in the ma
jority OF cases she spatters the ink al
, over the table It's pretty nearly a
) bad with the bridegroom; but TIL
witnesses enjoy it. Its human nat
4 ure 10 put our names on rec
\ ord when ii doesn't cost any thing
I Then the ceremony proper AM
! the fun commences. John. pleas
:. tell him to be az quick rs h
h can IT The lady knew that am a
2 anxious 20 return TO my strdy as IN
! j. TO start on her bridal trip. sh
n would not make the Injunction. I'll
4 awkwardness OF bride and bride groom
h j. phenomenal. When ! say Let til
= lady stand at the gentleman left
!. usually takes them minute to deter
II mine which j. their right and lef
n hand. and have literally TO pus
j them TO their proper places. When
a have finished and say 10 the mar
Take your bride. he continues
!. stupidity gaze ahead with = fixedl
: strained look. holding hor hand wit
y ridiculous energy. ! have TO brea
Il the spell By gently remarking: 'Ths
h Is all. my young friends You al
Il now man and wife
y II then turn 70 the bride and sa,
Ie Now suppose. Mrs. Shocks
!. Mrs Snooksg she says. 'lio
! funny. Am ! Mrs. Shocks. JohI
a dears'
.'Of course you are he tenderl
G. answers.
b. well. excuse me. Doctor n
j. sweetly resumes. You were about I
10 say something when interrupte