Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1889-05-29
a DAIRY SCHOOLS.
Bill Which. IL Adopted, Will Lead [
Some Wonderful Results.

- 49, 0Avny
A Bill Which, IL Adopted, VIII Lead to
Some Wonderful Results.
Albanian appropriation OF fifty thousand
dollars 10 asked to provide dairy schools
throughout the State, where there will be
efficient teachers to instruct young men and
young women to milk cows in On artistic and
economical manner. IN Y. Sun. +.
just at present every farmer in the
State OF New York should be so thor.
oughly happy that he should be able
to straighten his figure that has been
bent like a crescent through STOPPING
to drop corn and hoe potatoes. He
should caper lightly over the barn
yard like a tricksy fay, and not allow
his ecstasies of bliss to cause him to
forget to feed coarse corr to the
Shanghai and popcorn to the bantam.
His overalls should seem %broadcloth,
his rye coffee raised in the back yard
should appear nectar-although rye is
a failure as coffee, because it was never
intended for any thing but whisky.
he should dance to the airs of the
birds, and MARBLE tender lyrics at the
pigg-stye in the beautiful hog Latin of
the Cincinnati preparatory school.
And all this unbounded JOY on the
part OF the horny-handed whacker of
the soil should be attributed to the
fact that an appropriation of $50, 900
has been asked to establish dairy
schools throughout the State, that
young men and women may be proper.
ly instructed into the mysteries of
milking, and getting the greatest
quantity of butter out of the smallest
quantity of milk.
Thus it will be seen that during the
monotony of winter the farmer can 90
to dairy school and become familiar
with the art of milking to such an ex.
tent that he will knowshow to keep the
COW from siding out of reach just as
he is properly braced on the stool, and
has secured the magic purchase.
Perhaps the dairy school will sug-
gest milking stools on wheels, so that
if the COW does caper about, the farm
er will be all right so long as he
doesn't lose his grip; and it may sug.
gest, also, that the milk-pail have
straps on it, that the mixer may wear
il like a drum while in action.
1t is also fair to assume that, as there
is a proper way to milk, there will be
less trouble experienced with the COW
when she realizes me pleasant fact
that she is bei:-g MIXED in Il truly
orthodox fashion. She may stand with
the heroic calmness of a messenger
boy, while contributing to the farmers
prosperity in the holy hush of even,
when the vesper chimes float like a
benson DER the nodding flowers, and
the sun drops behind the western hill
like a cake of golden butter.
1t would be a great boon to humanity
if the farmer only knew how to farm;
and it is therefore pleasant to reflect
that there is a possibility Of a dairy
school being started. 1t is also q
blessing when we consider that the
appropriation is asked that farmers
may not only be taught to milk econom.
ically, but artistically. What a holy
wedding that, of economy and art.
Heretofore the art Of milking has been
all of a "get there order, and the
economy has been simply the assist
ance of the pump.
1t is safe to assume that the profess
sor OF milking is d aignitary that shall
soon dawn upon the world. to receive
the same respect and consideration
that is showed the O'CallaghanLecture,
and Emeritus professor of something
or other.
A ul~tra-oeSthetic young of
Boston, we will say, will tire Of
Browning and Tolstoi, and take up
milking and butter-making, and make
it a beautiful fad on Beacon street and
the Back Bay.
We believe in improving the farm
er; and where there is so much room
for improvement, no ordinary
effort in this direction can
fail. But the improvement of
the ground-thumper should not
stop at milking. He should be
taught to keep the chips from last win.
ter's chopping out of his neck-whis,
kers. He should be taught that to wear
a shirt without a collar is as far from
right as wearing a collar without a
shirt. He should be informed that
collar-buttons were never intended tc
be worn in cuffs, and that the gas
should always be turned off and never
blown out on retiring. After he knows
these things by heart as we'll as he
understands the mysteries of milking,
and the art of charging hotel rates in
summer, he will not be so universally
regarded as only q fit subject for the
| pencil of the acrobatic artist.-Puck,