The midland journal., 1889-04-19
CHAPTER xxxv1Il

CHAPTER XXxVIIL
The great mass Of the American people live
filtered
take It for granted that sheep and cattle
are born at as tender an age In America as
elsewhere. but the society for the protection
Of animals probably prevents their being
killed for food while they are young enough
to enjoy life. and SO the patriarchs alone are
reserved for the table.
That which renders the problem Of dining
almost past solving Is that the meat has to be
attacked with plated knives which tear but
do not cut it | suppose that, as half the
lower class Americans still eat with their
knives, it was necessary to abandon the idea
of having steel knives for fear Of their acci-
dentally gashing their faces II sharp steel
knives were in general uso in America the
streets would be full Of people with faces
Scared and scanned like those Of the Heidel-
berg students.
The Americans drink little else but water
at table. and one cannot help wondering how
it Is that the filter seems to be an almost un-
known institution in the land Leave your
glass OF water untouched on the table, and
in q few moments thick sediment of mud or
sand will be visible at the bottom Of it
Down south it Is worse still.
At Jacksonville was waited upon at table
by an extremely obliging negro.
One day he brought me seme water, put Ice
In it, and discreetly withdrew behind my
chair
took up the glass-and minutely inspected
Its contents.
"Epaminondasl" / cried.
"Dat's not my name. sab; I'm called
Charles"
"charles, look at this water; there is q
snake in it"
Charles took the glass, looked in 1t, and
then, with reassuring grin. announced:
''It's dead, sah."
'That is comforting" said /, "but It may
have left eggs, which viii come to life by
thousands inside me-"
Charles was facetious, and was not to be
put out of countenance for such trife He
took up the glass again, re-examined 1t, and
replaced it on the table.
"Deres no danger, sab; it's q male" he
said
In almost all hotels south of Washington
the walters are colored men. The service Is
but poor The negroes are slow-it Is the
guests who do the waiting"
At Delmonico's especially, and in the prin-
cipal hotels Of New York, Boston, Philadel-
phia and Washington you can dine admir-
ably. In the smaller towns you must be con-
tent with feeding.
But let US take our seats at the table d'hote
of the best hotel in any second rate town that
you please in Pennsylvania. Ohio, Indiana, or
some other state Of the Union
No printed menu. A young woman, with
an elaborate coiffure Of curls, rolls and bangs,
but no cap, approaches, darts look of con-
tempt at you and, turning her back upon
you, gabbles Off in one breath:
"Croutaupoturbotshrim rimpsauceroastbeeftur
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS tatoestomatoesappletar
mincepievanillacream."
Do not attempt to stop her; she is wound
up, and when she is started is bound to go to
the end. You must not hope that she win
repeat the menu a second time either II you
did not hear, so much the worse for you
Unfortunately the consequences are grave;
it is not one dish that you miss-it is the
whole dinner. You are obliged to order all
your repast at once, and the whole Is brought
you, from soup to cheese, at one time.
was so i'll inspired one day as to order
some soup to begin with The waitress re-
fused downright to bring me anything more
THAT is all you ordered" she said to me-
"You do not suppose ] can make twenty
journeys to the kitchen for you"
rose and sought the hotel keeper. Imade
the humblest apologies, pleaded that was a
foreigner who had only been in America q
fortnight, and was not yet accustomed to the
habits Of the Americans Ipromised solemnly
never TO transgreSs again in this way Mine
host went to the young person who was at
the head OF the battalion of harpies In the
dining room, and interceded for me with her.
l had the happiness of being forgiven, and
was allowed to appease my hunger
From that day forward, as soon as one Of
these witching damsels began her incantation,
l cried out:
"Holdl Enoughl Bring It all in"
Then | would eat the least distasteful of the
messes and leave the rest can assure YOU
the hotel did not make much profit out of me.
This is how the dinner is served:
The duchess" begins by fliagiag spoon
and knife and fork down on the table In front
Of you It is for you to set them straight,
and would advise you to do SO without any
murmuring. When you have taken your
soup, the said duchess" brings you a plate,
around which she places dozen little oval
dishes in a symmetrical fashion that one cen
but admire
The first little dish contains fish aud tea
spoonful of sauoe Of some kind It Is need
less to inquire the name Of this sauce All
the fish sauces are the same; only the name
varies The second apparently contains a
little lump OF raw beef; the third slice Of
roast turkey; the fourth mashed potatoes;
the fifth stewed tomato; the sixth cram
berry sauce; the seventh chicken salad; the
eighth some rice pudding, and the last con-
tains horribile dictuA slice Of apple tart
with large helping Of cheese In the middle
Of 1t. These two things are eaten togethissss
snd are consequently asFVea os the sRms
Yau hagiH at tho LETT The fEst pressats