davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
MUSCULAR EDUCATION.

There is a good deal Of flippant COM
meht upon the encroachments OF the
national game and other physical exer-
cises upon the attention of the students
OF the higher educational institutions.
In the Atlantic Monthly for the past
month a college professor has an article
upon the growth of athletic sports in
these classical temples, and finds good
deal of room for commentator. His
observation is that the drunkenness and
carousiDg once SO frequent have nearly
disappeared. and that the use of tobacco
to pefnicious excess Is now rare. Even
tea and coffee are much less used. AS
regards tobacco, however, he is unable
to find any mitigation of the disgusting
cigarette. In spite of this dudish feat
ure he is disposed to look approvingly
upon the modern tendencies.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
WE KNOW HIM WE'LL,

We know him we'll He is man
Built on the most stupendous plan.
Flushed with health and strong Of limb;
A hero bold, warrior grim,
To those who know him not nc may be
At home he's helpless as baby.
He lets his tired little wife,
Who strangely loves him as her life,
Wait ON him with devotion rare,
While with most compliment air
And perfect ease before the blaze he
IIolls around--because he's lazy.
His wife. afraid to own her soul.
Chops the wood and Tugs the coal,
Draws the water. shoyels snow,
While he: a giant. sees her grow
More delicate and less admired.
Doing his work--because he's tired.
80
shame on this semblance of man,
Shame on the woman, too, who can,
So.yoid of female spunk and sense,
Coddle a creature SO immense
And good for nothing. Spanking, maybe,
By real men might help the baby.
H. c. Dodge in Detroit Free Press.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
JURY REFORM.

1t is gratifying to note that at least some OF
the members of the legislature are not over
awed by the halo of sauetity which is sup
posed to surround our jury system because OF
It's antiquity. County Herald.
II will, at any rate. destroy the one man
power of the crank, the mule, or the fool that
is often found in the jury room. Nine out of
every twelve will give us honest and reason
able decisions oftener than the enforced
unanimity Of the whole dozen. Thanks TO
Mr. Stevens.-Wright Times.
1t is to be hoped that the legislature will
submit the constitutional amendment allow
ing ;kree.fourths Of jury 10 read II a YER
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Life Worth Living.

The Epoch.
Friend ito very sick youth)-Charley,
you must brace up and get well. have
some glorious news for you.
Sick Youth feebly)-What is it?
Friend-Your aunt Minerva told me
personally that if you'd only try and
get we'll she would leave you every
dollar she's got in the world.
Sick Youth with more strength)-IS
that so. Fred? Did you ask her how
much she is worth?
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04

dict in civil actions. The farce of making
prisoners of jurors and starving them until
they are willing to swear they all think alike
is a disgrace to this age of alleged eiyiliza-
ton. The jury system is by no means above
and beyond reforming because of its age. 1t
is a good deal of a fraud, and this bin would
make it much more capable of rendering
justice.-Huschnson Leader.
The demand for ballot reform has become
SO widespread and so earnest that it will
doubtless be generally needed. The present
conditions show decided growth in political
honesty. The Minnesota governor is only
oneSof many who have recommended, with
poihtedness that shows sincerity and zeal.
plans for preventing the corruption of the
voter and the securing of an absolutely secret
ballot. so guarded as to make intimidation or
corruption impossible.-Red Wing Repub-
1ican.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
JoCUhARITIEs.

"Are you not ashamed, cousin, to kill q
pretty little bird like that?'' But, my dear
girl, thought it would look SO well in your
hat True, didn't think of that. It's ex
aetly the same shade of gray: You are kind"
Judge.
IFS Washingtons Birthday observed in
Texas!'' asked New Yorker who was visit
ingi San Antonio. "Obseryed!' exclaimed
the. astonished native, why, it's venerated.
1t takes four car loads OF beer to fill the de-
manti that sacred day."-Texas Siftings.
81 suppose, . said Upton 1neekly to the real
estate agent, ''that if hire this fiat from you
| will be allowed to sleep in it when | am
tired" well. yes returned the autocrat,
adding new clause to The conditions OF the
lease, provided you don't snore PUCK.
The Minister-As your guardian, Lucille,
I must insist upon your regular attendance
at devotional services. His charge-Why,
then, guardy, what makes you use such
dreadfully dreadful words? You needn't in
sist at all. I've got a new love of bonnet
and perfect dream of a wrap, and Id just
as lief go as not.-Judge.
A writer says that the ancient Romans had
no word for yes" But we would be will,
ing to wager fossilized cooky that when
Claudius somebody asked Appius somebody
else if he would like to meander down the
Appian Way to certain apothecary's shop
with back room attachment, there was
some available expression in the language
equivalent to Don't care f | do.-Burling
ton Free Press.
Salesman-That's perfect fit, lady. Shop
per--Yes, they feel quite comfortable. tSlips
OFF shoes and looks at the sole.) Mercy !!
they're mile too bigl Why they're fves,
and / never wear anything larger than
threes Salesnan--These are threes, lady;
but, you see, there's been such demand for
them we've been obliged to mark them up.
Shopper-Oh! Well, guess I'll take them. l
thought they couldn't be fyes.-Boston
Transcript.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
THE WEEKLY REPORT.

UNITED STATES SIGNAL OFFICE, ST PAUL,
Feb. 3. 1SS9.-For the week ending yester-
day the snowfall reported from that portion
of this state mainly comprising the water
sheds OF the Minnesota and Upper MIssls-
sippi rivers has been very light. Enough to
make I04 Of an inch of water fell at both
Alexandria and Redwood Falls and also at
St. Paul. No PRECIPITATION was reported from
either Fort Ripley, Ortonyille. Fergus Fails
Or Tracy. There was about three inches OF
snow reported on the ground al all stations
except Fergus Falls where eleven inches
was reported.
Pr. Lyons. Sergeant Signal Corps.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Tongue Tanglers.
Baltimore News.

Baltimore News.
The popularity of Peter Piper's eele-
brated peck OF picked peppers wilt
probably never Wane as snare to catch
the tongue that would be fain agile; bu
that test has formidable rivals. The
following short sentences, as their au-
thorS maintain, do wonders In battling
the ordinary power of speech:
Gaze on the gay gray brigade.
The sea ceaseth. and it sufficeth us.
Say, should such shapely sash shabby
stitches show?
Strange strategic statistics.
Give Grimes Jim's gilt gig whip.
Sarah in a shawl Shoveled soft snow
softly.
She sells sea shells.
A cup of coffee in copper coffee pot.
Smiths spirit flask split Philips sixth
sisters fifth SQUIRRELS skull
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Those Compound Titles.

Chicago News.
Pedestrian Ito Washington policeman
What is the meaning of this great
crowd in the street, officero Is anybody
hurt?
sNo; there has been al accident and
the street is blockaded, but things will
soon be in shape again"
"But tell me what has happened?'
''Why, you see. Vice President-elect
Morton has just met First Assistant
Postmaster General Stevenson, and
their titles are too long to pass each
other on the same thOroughfare. We
are trying to induce the first assistant
postmaster general to resign for half an
hour while we get things into shape"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Practically Unanimous.

Harper's Mahazine
At the beginning of our late war the
secession of one of the states was being
discussed in little company one even
ing.
.'How do the ladies feel about it?"
asked one gentleman of another.
"Oh." replied the person addressed,
1.-THE ladies are for union to a man!'
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
difference in Raw Material.

New York Sun.
PA" inquired Bobby, ''are all the
people made of dust??'
Eyes, yes" replied the father, who
was reading.
and is everybody made of the same
klnd?" continued Bobby.
mo, no: su.Ee Of them are made OF
the cheapest kind of dust to he had.o
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
The Kitchens Loss,

Chicago Herald.
Look here, young man." said face
tious individual the other noon in one of
the down town dairy lunch rooms. II
ordered a stew and here is an oyster in
it,'' fishing around in the bowl with his
spoon and finally bringing lonely
blvalye to the surface.
Il can't help that" responded the
waiter addressed, never cracking a
smile. Its not my fault-its the
Kitchens loss"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
A Prudent Maid.

JUuSt.
81 think I would soon make an i'm
preston on Miss Prude if it wasn't for
that horrid parrot she keeps in the par
lor," said De links.
''That's all imagination" replied Mer-
rift. five been there myself. If she
cared anything for YOU she would throw
a cover over the cage whenever you
caIIed1
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
A Tiresome Caller.

Philadelphia Record.
Mrs. Winks-Hold the baby mo-
ment, there's dear. [ want to put
back these pictures got out for Mrs.
Minks to look at. Such tiresome
creature as she is. She was here for
nearly half an hour this afternoon,
and did nothing but talk about the
baby.
Mr.. Winks-Bless his little heart. So
the ladies come and sit and admire and
talk about the little cherub, do they?
Of course they do; they can't help low
ing"
Mrs. Winks-Gracious me! 1t wasn't
my baby she talked about; it was her
own
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Not Reduced to Want.

Chicago Tribune.
. II desire to insert this small adver-
tisement in your paper tomorrow morn
ing" she said.
This" said the advertising clerk,
looking it over, will go among the
wants."
"Have you no wish column"
''Fo, num-"
''Then, sir" said the young lady from
Boston, haughtily, you need not insert
it. l simply wish situation as gov
erness. That is all. 1t is not a case of
want. Is there any newspaper printed
in English in this placer"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
STAGE AND PULPIT.

AS a stroller in one of the Twin Cities
yesterday was looking through en-
trancing nature up to its peerless au-
thor, he observed in one place work
men putting the finishing touches to a
dramatic temple, and not many blocks
distant the sons of toll diligently COM
plotting the Interior of church edifice,
and was led to wonder if there was not
at least one tie of sympathy and kin
ship between these centerS of influence
and attraction.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04

NEW JERSEY is able to discriminate
between politics and courtesy. g 1t is the
only Northern state the presidential
caravan from indianapolis to Washing
ton will pass through as hostile terri
tory, and yet they are making the most
elaborate arrangements to do honor to
the visitors. They accept the situation
gracefully and do not forget that they
are American citizens, proud Of their
pnNRrnmPnt.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
DRAMATIC DRIFT.

In his published impressions Of
America Max ORell says: ''If good
companies are rare in America good act
ors are numerous. The greatest Ameri-
can actor is Edwin Booth. Lawrence
Barrett, who often plays with him, is
also a highly talented tragedian. In
comedy, two veterans, John Gilbert and
Lester Wallack, must be named first,
then Messrs. Robson and Crane. In
purely American plays Joseph ,Jeffer-
son is an unriyaled exponent of simple,
touching parts. Mayo. Florence, Harri-
gan are names which are connected
with thousand successes in the minds
of the Americans. Steele Mackaye is
good actor, besides being dramatic
author OF great ability. For original.
fantastic creations the palm must be
awarded to Richard Mansfield. For
cleverness at making up Mr.. Mans
field is unrivaied. The greatest actor
on the American stage is Pole. Nine.
Modleska has no living rival but Nine.
Sarah Bernhardt, whom, to my think
ing, she sometimes even surpasses"
+ +
AL Thayer, of the Cincinnati En-
quirer, is writing play to be called by
the new and strange title-"Quick or
the Dead" He is having the name
copyrighted. The central figure in the
romantic drama will be messenger
boy, who is started on run to get a
clergyman to perform a marriage cere
mOny. When he returns he is gray
haired and stooped-the minister is a
grandson of the man he was dispatched
for, and the eXpectant bride and groom
have been dead SO long that their graves
are forgotten. Hence the name ''Quick
or the Dead"
The oldest musical society in the
world, the AntlitzgeseliSchaft, cele-
brated its 27Oth anniversary two weeks
ago at st. Gall, in Switzerland.
+ + +
Manager J. M. Hill was astoniShed
the other day to receive dispatch from
Terre Haute. Ind. that when Ed Nu-
gent was in that city he was seen walk
ing along one of the principal streets
with a bladder on his arm. Hill had
never heard of Ed so far forgetting him.
self, but the following letter from Tom
Sweeney told all: "Mr. Hill, it is very
true that Nugent did walk down one of
the streets with bladder. Everybody
was out looking at the two. The pre-
vious week minstrel show had beeni in
town and one of the black-faced ''ducks"
had the bladder on the stage and Ed
had found it and bloWed it full of air
and fastened Jewsharp to the mouth
of it and let the escaping air play the
harmonica."
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
The Plant Idle.
The Epoch

The Epoch.
MY dear" said Fifth avenue mill
ionaire. isn't this rather an expensive
supper??"
Expensive. john" replied the wife,
sit consists of nothing but cold roast
lamb and salad. Why, Marie pre-
pared the supper herself"
YES" he said, sarcastically, land
there's $4,000 chief down stairs doing
nothing. You must keep him busy, my
dear, or we won't get our money back.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
DIR. SMITH on TEMPERANCE.

DIR. SMITHS exposition of the tenn
perance situation yesterday, perhaps
for special illumination of the law
makers, conferred upon high license for
the cities by state law, and local option
by counties for the country, excepting
all towns of 5000 population and over.
The fact was recognized that prohibi-
ton is futile in localities where the
friendly sentiment is not vigorously
dominant. He takes great satisfaction
in recalling his part in the high license
contest of two wears ago.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Another Rrute

Mrs. Winks-Did you see this article
by Laboucl.ere on English and Ameri-
car women?
Mr.. Winks--No. What does it say?
ut says English women do not know
how to dress
maybe not.n
"But American woman have natural
taste for Clothes"
.That's so-and not much else, some
of 'eIn. New York Weekly.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Will Be Hung in Front Of a
Law Office in Gotham
Town.
Sc nator Frye Wants a Little
More Definite Resolu-
ton on Samoa.
Holman in Search Of a Com
promise on the Land
Forfeiture Bill.
Harrison to Have a Country
Seat---Mrs. Freling-
huysen Dead.

WASHINGTON, Feb. SIT is authori-
tatively announced to-day that Presi-
dent Cleveland will return to the state
of New York to reside on the expiration
of his term of Office, and will, ON March
), resume the practice of his profession
in New York city, having associated
himself as counsel with the law firm of
Bangs, Stetson, Tracy L MacVeagh.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Gen. Drum,s SHOES.

WASHINGTON, Feb. 3.-The retire
ment of Adjt. Gen. Drum in May next
has started applicants and aspirants for
the position to renewed eXertiops. It is
believed in army circles that the con-
test has narrowed down to Gems. kel-
ton and McKeever, both at present as
sistantS to Gen. Drum.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
A Curious Calculation.


Open book at random and select a
word within the first ten lines, and
Within the tenth word from the end of
the line. Mark the word; now double
the number of the page and multiply
the remainder by five.
Then add twenty.
Then add the number of the lines.
Then add five.
Multiply the sum by ten.
Add the number of the word in the
line. From this sum substract $50 and
the remainder will indicate in the unit
column the number of the word. In
the ten column the number Of the line,
and the remaining figures the number
of page.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04

regardless of the welfare of the 6. o. p.
if they are not given their way now. and
the anti element will hold the party re-
sponsible if it yields to the demands Of
the restrictionists. On the whole there
seems to be trouble brewing Tor the
ruling party there.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04

THE slight snowfall yesterday morn-
ing may be credited to KELLOGG and
mercury. He says the first part of this
month will he warmer than the latter
portion, but the average will be above
the mean of the season. 1t is pretty
safe to anticipate that the winter will
keep up the gait all the way through.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
LAND FORFEITURE.
Congressman Holman Hopes for
Compromise.

Compromise.
WASHINGTON, Feb. 3.-Congressman
Holman says that he had hopes that
some basis of compromise could be
reached between the house and senate
conferrees on the general land forfeit
ure bill. On separate bills now in con-
ference relating to lands in Alabama,
Michigan and Washington territory the
senate conferrees had expressed will
ingness to agree in the aggregate to
forfeiture of about 2,225.000 acres of
land. They had also conceded, in cases
were land:was within the granted limits
of two railroads and had been declared
forfeited by the road, but must be re-
stored to the public domain. If the gen.
eral land forfeiture bill could not be
agreed upon by the conferrees they
would report the separate bills. He had
no doubt as to their passage.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Harrison's Country Seat.

WASHINGTON, Feb. 5.-To-day's Cap
itol says that President-elect Harrison
negotiating for a country seat at
Avenel, Montgomery county, Md, which
is ten miles north of Washington on
the Metropolitan branch of the Balti-
more 81 Ohio.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Second ofIts Kind.

Special to The Globe.
YANKToN. Oak, Feb. 5.-R. E. Flem-
ing, of Fargo, last night organized in
Yankton, OAK, Consistory No. 2, Scot
fish Rite Masons. this being the sec
ond organization of the kind in Dakota
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Both Tired.

Boston Courier.
Bill Collector Ito hiicd giril-Look
here. I'm tired coming around with tits
bill.
Hired Girl Granddaughter. I'm
tired too. having to leave my work TO
tell you to call again.
b. C.-NeIi, YOU may tell your boss
that this is my last call.
H. G.-Your last?
b. c. ffiercely)-Yes.
81. G.-Thank heaven.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04

THE predictions of big war over
the water may be taken as pretty fair
assurances that peace will continue. 1t
is the unexpected that generally hap
pens with nations as well as individuals,
especially in European politics.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Made Deputy Collector.

WASHINGTON, Feb. 3.-Robert l..
Miller, of Ohio. chief OF the loans and
currency division of the secretary's
Office, treasury department., was yester-
day appointed deputy collector of GUS
toms at Port Townsend, w. T., and left
last night with his wife for his post of
duty.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04
Experimental Engagement Rings.

Terre Haute Express.
Young Man (confdently)-I want to
see some Of your solitaire rings.
acknowledgements ring, | pre-
sumo.
Young Man-Y-yes. sir.
Jeweler-Here's just the thing you
want. Alaska stone, rolled plate, and
warranted for year.
Young Man But | want real stone.
Jeweler-Of course. AS | was going
to say, we give one of the plated rings
along with each real stone. They are
exact duplicates. If the engagement is
a success it is very easy to substitute
the real for the imitation.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-02-04

A PAPER in the February issue of
Scribner shows the physical disadvan-
tages under which women labor, by
vicious and unnatural styles of dress
ing. The theory is that they should be
as large and strong as men, and have
been enfeebled and stunted by the UNI
natural requirements of dress. For
5000 years skirts have hampered their
progress. ReformerS ON that line will
secure social if no other martyrdom.
Reform may come in 5000 more years,
but the present tendency is not marked
in that direction.