davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
Some Awkward Breaks.

The Rev. DR.. Henson of Chicago is
man who is always eloquent. and in
the West they think him far superior
to Talmage. Some years ago DR..
Henson was lecturing at a Chautauqua
assembly out West. Mr.. Frank Beard,
the celebrated artist, had the hour
just before DR.. Henson, and just as the
latter appeared Mr.. Beard, who had
been drawing caricatures, announced:
Ladies' and gentlemen, l would draw
you a caricature of the gentleman who
is now to address you except for the
fact that the Almighty has preceded
me-" which vastly tickled the audience
as well as DR.. Henson, for he
naturally prides himself on the home
illness of his countenance. Last year,
at the great New York Chautauqua,
when DR.. Henson came to lecture
on Fools" which lecture, by the way,
be gives at New Richmond, Bishop
Vincent introduced him thus: Ladies
and gentlemen, we are now to have a
lecture on Fools by one of the most
distinguished" - there was long
pause. for the Bishops infections in
dictated that lie had finished, and the
audience roared with delight, so that it
was some time before the sentence was
concluded-''men of Chicago" DR..
Henson, whose readiness of wit holds
every emergency captive, began his
lecture when silence was at length re-
stored by saying: Ladies and gem
tlemen, | am not as great fool as
Bishop Vincent - and here he
stopped, apparently through with the
sentence, while the audience again
wildly applauded, finally concluding
-.'would have you think. y Cincia-
MATS Times Star.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
BOARDING IN EUROPE.
Immense Amounts of Coin Hid Away by
the Thrifty Peasants.

1t has been remarked generally that
thrifty people like the French. Swiss,
Belgians and Dutch hoard coin more
than the Scotch and English. The
Irish were addicted to boarding bank
notes, but the practice prevailed in
former wears more than now. In Italy
large quantities of gold and silver
were boarded from 1862 to 1865, be-
cause paper money was then declared
legal tender. or forced on the country.
In 1873 the gold standard was es-
tablished in Italy, and the gold neces-
sarv to effect this change was drawn
to a great extent from boards. In
France a great deal of boarding has
existed for a long time, especially
among the peasantry, who are the
most parsimonious in Europe Many
causes have contributed to the crea-
ton of this habit, not the least being
the insecurity arising from the unset
tied forms of government in France.
Lately, however, these boards have
been extensively drawn on in connec-
ton with the payment, at the close of
the Franco-German war, of the French
indemnity of ESQ, 900. OF this
amount one-half was paid out Of French
boards.
An ex-governor of the Bank of En-
gland, in his evidence before the
bimetallism commission. estimates the
contributions from boards as equal to
two-thirds of the amount of the in
demnity. IN illustration of peasant
boarding he related how one of the
leading French bankers told him that
at the time of the siege of Paris he
left Paris to 90 and look at his estate
in the neighborhood. He went up to
one of the peasants and told hi- that
he had just come out to look after his
affairs, and that he was very anxious
to pay his people their wages, but
that under the circumstances, he had
no m oney. The peasant said: eff 40
600 francs (91, 5000 are any good to
you, l have got them in a stocking I'M
der my bed, and | will 90 and fetch
them" They were in gold coin.
These boards the French government
wisely attracted by Offering induce
ments to the peasant classes in the way
of preferential allotment of the rentes.
or through premium on the prices
paid. Hoards are not common in Ger
many, but there is large war hoard
lying at Juliusthrum, in Spandau, be-
longing to the government. of $780,
100000 marks, or $4,000, 900, which
goes under the name of the German
empire war Treasure. Chambers Jour-
nal
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
The First Civilized City.

Of all such cities there is not one
which is as little known, and which
nevertheless has played such a con-
tinuous and varied role on the world
stage, as Castrogiovanni, the ancient
Etna. which had the great honor of
giving birth to the first civilization
within the memory of Europe, that
same civilization that a small Greek
nation was to bring to perfection and
to light the world with.
From the sublime crater of Etna,
raised into the upper regions of air,
looked over sky and sea, the eye takes
in the WI lie perimeter of Sicily. and
in the midst of its mountain ranges
and its valleys-that resemble the
waves of a stormy sea petrified by some
mysterious power-there appears as a
great vessel, solitary and mighty.
anchored in the midst of these petrifed
surges, crag shaped like truncated
cone 1t is on this rock, whose situa-
ton in the center of the island caused
it to be called by the Greeks the navel
of Sicily. that Castrogiovanni is
perched, like true eagles nest, in
an impregnable position ScribneT's
Hd0dziRe.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
The Austrian Journalist.

The Austrian journalist has the same
literary methods as his German re.
lative. but he must supply a livelier
and larger paper to his readers who
are a rather frivolous lot. and he has
not such amusing advertising columns.
Frequently the Austrian editor makes
extensive use of his imagination, and
he can invent thoroughly. Some time
ago one of the best known Vienna
papers published a long paragraph
purporting to be telegram from Lon
don. 1t was very interesting. 1t told
how the three daughters of the prince
of Wales were walking down White
hall when they observed how a
wretched looking woman selling
flowers was doing no business. They
therefore took her basket and sold
flowers for about three hours, making
a great deal of money, which they
gave to the poor woman. The story
did not have the least foundation in
fact, OF course. and the princesses
were not in London anywhere near the
time the incident was said to have &C.
Cured WASHINGTON Star.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01

madam. you may have the coffin for
SO. Tine
Depot official-I regret to say. ma
dam, that you have missed connec-
tons and there viii be no train north
for six hours. Lady traveler-Verv
well If YOU viii direct me to the
nearest large dry-goods establishment
I will buy something and spend the
time waiting for my change BUrling-
ton Free Press.
Mrs. Phunnyman Cooking up from
The paper)-A dog III Virginia with
two tails. What Glance for mu-
scum! Mr. Phunnyma Better chance
for a humorous weekll Mrs. Phunny-
man-how do you make that out?
Mr.. Phunnyman Why, those two
tails will make such comical ways
Philadelphia Press.
Bliffers (reading) Science now
recognizes a condition called .intoxi-
cation by radiation MANY cases of
drunkenness are cited in which the
victim had touched nothing alcoholic,
but had simply been in the company
of drinkers Whiffers-"Gee Whili-
kin! Cut that out. l want to show it
to my wife. "-NelC York. Wee5Iu.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
How 60 Coax a Man to Propose.

An elderly man was telling group
of giddy young girls the other day
how he proposed to his wife when he
was a young man. She was sewing at
the time he said, or he never would
have had the courage to do it. If girls
would sew more he thinks they would
have more matrimonial chances. Sew
ing he considers the best accomplish
ment that a woman can have. A wO-
man engaged with needle has q
domestic, homelike air that is irresist-
ible to a man who loves her. 1t is a
picture of what she would be in her
own home, and makes him long that
it should be his also. How can man
propose to a girl who sits straight up
in her chair staring hard at him with
a pair of bright eyes? But when she
is bending gracefully over a bit of
plain sewing, apparently absorbed in
counting the stitches. and the arrows
of her eyes are sheathed for Il few
minutes, he plucks up courage enough
to offer her his heart and hand. The
average young man is bashful in such
affairs, though bold enough at other
times. and needs encouragement and
opportunities. What sort of encour-
agement is pair of bright eyes star
ing into his, watching his embarrass-
ment? Listen to the advice of an old
man, who has been all through it; drop
your eyes and give the young man a
chance. Remember this, girls, when
the favorite young man drops in to
make an evening visit; get out your
bit of fancy work and look domestic,
and with every stitch of your needle
you will bind his heart more firmly to
YOUR own.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
UNCLE SILAS POWERSOX.
He FIushes Couple of Late English Cap
italists.

Uncle Silas Powersox, of Scrub Grass,
who is the guest of a World reporter,
has taken much interest in the collection
of news. and occasionally helps US to a
good item He had an interesting ex-
perience yesterday with couple of En-
glishmen.
"Can you direct US to Hmm where
we can hobtain cheap lodgings, don't
you known
How cheap asked Uncle Silas.
Say habout hayt shilling for lodgin gs
hand breakfast"
That pretty cheap, but 1 guess they
can accommodate you over there at the
Crows Nest. 20
Uncle Silas was attracted by the es-
pecially forlorn appearance of the two
strangers, who still had about them a
far-of air of better days, and following
them to the Crows Nest" obtained
their story.
You see, my dear. sir, said one of
the wretched party, '3we're hall that's
left nof hay great Hinglish syndicate
that came hover to your blawsted coun-
try to buy hand hoperate some of your
great business henterprises. We ad
some $50, 600, 900 hat hour disposal. don
you know, hand we bought breweries
hand things right hand left. The
bloomin' newspapers received US kindly,
l hassure you, hand a cordial welcome
was extended to US by business men hall
hover the country. Well. sir, we him
vested hour money literally. hand for a
time we cut hay large dog in two, don't
you know. But we-ah-found that
we could not pay the large dividends
we 'oped to. We -ah-competi-
ton very lively. Hamerican business
men get hup very early hin the morning
hand stay hup very late. They don't
give fellow chawnce, don't you
know. We are now hon hour way 'ome.
Some hof hour friends ave kindly sent
money to pay hour hexpenses; not very
much, hit s true" and he looked ruefully
about his six-by- eight ap artment at the
Grows Nest"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
Hon. Mr.. Cody-and 'sBuffaio Bill"

Fort Davenport was a twelve-com-
pany post, says the United Service
Magazine, and was garrisoned by ten
troops of the Thirty-third cavalry and
two companies of the Seventy-frst in
fantry. The quarters were well built
and spacious. The enterprising trader
had fitted up two apartments with
billiard and card tables, which he call
ed respectively the officers club-room
and the mems room. 1t was in the
aforementioned of these apartments
that Bill Cody made his now some
what famous reply to a captain of the
Fifty-fifth. 1t was soon after the en-
gagement at Thin Knobs, where Cody
had availed himself of the opportunity
to scalp an Indian. Several officers
were conversing in the room together,
when one expressed it as his opinion
that Cody ought not to scalp. He
said: ut is all right enough for the
indians to scalp; they know no better.
But Cody ought to be above such
things"
The scout who was being criticised
was standing in the doorway, and
though he could not be seen by the
inmates of the room, yet he heard
every word that was said. AS the
speaker concluded Cody waited in the
room. He certainly was a picture.
His tall, 1.-THE, muscular figure was
set off by a gorgeous suit of black vel
vet trimmed with gold braid. His
long golden hair hung below his
shoulders. In a belt at his waist two
Colts reyolvers and hunting knife
reposed. Fringed buckskin leggings,
which were almost one solid mass of
beadwork, covered the lower part of
his shapely legs. A broad brimmed
hat of light felt Ia the earl of Dun
raven was perched jauntily on his
well-shaped head. His complexion
was, as it ever has been since | first
met him on the plains, as pink and as
white and feckless as a blooming
maiden's of eighteen summers. /
think the manufacturers of many diff
ferent kinds of soaps, washes, and
lotions, so highly recommended by the
clergy and star actresses, could do a
neat stroke of business by getting
Cody to indOrse them. Well, he strobe
into the room and said: Gentlemen,
/ want you to understand one thing;
The Hon. William Z. Cody does not
scalp Indians. But when l am on the
plains am Buffalo Bill, and Buffalo
Bill scalps them every time
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
She Dared to Be Original.

Now comes a girl who is plump
enough to be well rounded without a
suggestion of cOrpulence. slender
enough to be graceful withal, uncon-
scious of self enough to be modest
without prudery, merry enough to be
charming without affection. and with
a touch of originality about her cos
tune that makes her still more inter-
esting. 1t is not in the headdress. q
blue and white handkerchief tastefully
arranged. from under which heavy
plat of golden hair falls below the
waist and ends in a curly tangle; nor
in the suit, which is like many others,
blue Jersey cloth with a scroll pattern
in white braid on collar and wrist
bands. belt and skirt, but she has re-
membered now pretty fat hand looks
in a dark mitt, and applying the
knowledge in another direction has
cut away part of the foot of the stock
ing, exposing the daintiest, whitest
toes, with pink tinting as beautiful as
a babv's. Not one in twenty could
have done it; for an unsightly corn or
other blemish would have been fatal to
the effect, but there is nothing of the
kind here.
AS her escort joins her he casts a sly
glance downward and begins to laugh.
Her eyes do not once fall to her feet;
it is not necessary, for she has made
an exhaustive study thereof in private.
Coloring slightly she laughs up at him
and saws, You said | neither knew
how nor would dare to be original.
What now?" His answer is not audi
BILE, but they pass on smiling. In
another minute they brace themselves
TO meet a breaker. and mademoiselle
of the toes disappears to make her bow
TO the little fishes and her sister sea
nymphs. Suat.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
The Blind in Europe.

The Rev. E. r. Donehoo of Pitts
burg who has been investigating the
condition of the blind in Europe, says
that Saxonv is doing more for this
class of unfortunates than any other
country in Europe. They do not stop
with having taught the blind to read
and write and work at some industry,
but follow them up after leaving
school, give them something in the
way of capital TO aid them to start up
in trade. and designate some one to
continue an oversight over them SO
that they can dispose OF what they
manufacture at profit and prevent
them from being cheated and abused.
Every blind maE, woman, and child is
looked after and helped so that they
are not obliged to resort to beggary or
any vicious crime which would cor
rupt and degrade them.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01

Then you don't regard the late in
vestment of English capri in America
as being in every case a howling sue
cess?"
You can put hit that strong, sir,
hand not hoverstate the casep
What has become of the breweries
you bought
They ave mostly gone back hinto
the ands of the bloomin Dutchmen
from whom we bought EN-, don't you
know"
Uncle Silas ventured the suggestion
that our German fellow citizens were
usually frugal and successful.
You are right, sir. Hand has near
we can learn the Hinglishman who comes
hover here to teach 'em ow to brew
lager is hay bloomin' hass, sir, hay
bloomin' hass."
Did you take much interest in the
last prize fight?'
I'VE didn't ave benny money to bet,
sir, but we placed what few valuables
we 'ad left on Kilrain, the bloomin'
duffer, hand that asn't 'elped matters
to speak hof, don't you know"
And Uncle Silas left the late English
capitalists to their own meditations.-
N3lO York World
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
A Curious Lawsuit.

A very curious cause lately came be-
fore the justice of the peace of Neuilly,
France. Some time ago Nine. Plny-
cite, a widow of 80, but who still at
Jaches much Importance to personal
appearance. had the misfortune in
playing with a lap-dog to receive from
it so severe a wound in one of her eyes
that it came out of the socket. HAY
ing heard much of artificial eyes and
being recommended to apply to an
expert manufacturer in this way named
Tamsier, she gave an order for a glass
eye, for which the optician charged
100 francs ($20). Refusing to pay this
charge the manufacturer summoned
her before the justice OF the peace.
Nine. Pluyette having appeared,
holding the glass eye in her hand, the
Judge asked her why she refused to
pay the bill which NJ. Tamsier had
sent in.
For very good reason" replied
the defendant. i can see no more
with this eye than | could before"
WHAT" said the Judge. Did you
really imagine that you would be able
to see with glass eye?'
Did l think SOP" retorted the angry
dame. Certainly l did. VIII you be
so good as to tell me what eyes are
for except to see with? l ordered the
eye for use, and until NJ. Tamsier
makes me one with which can see |
will not pay him sou"
The justice of the peace endeavored
to convince Nine. Pluyette that glass
eyes were for others to look at and not
for the wearer to look through; but,
finding all appeals to her reason of no
avail, he condemned her to pay the
plaintiff the amount of his demand.
When the defendant heard the decision
she became furious with anger, and.
after dashing her glass eye on the floor,
she rushed out of court amid the laugh
ter of the crowd.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
To Prevent the Packing of Salt.

The tendency of table salt to pack
together in cruets and containers may
be entirely overcome by thoroughly dry
ing the salt and intimately mingiing
with it small percentage of dry corn
starch or arrowroot. From s to 10 per
cent is amply sufficient for the most
humid atmosphere (as on The sea
coast), while a much less percentage
of the starch is sufficient for ordinary
use.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
A Whole Team.

Yes" said Mrs. Goeasy very pleas
antly. L do take deal of interest in
baseball. And why shouldn't |? My
husband and / constitute whole base
ball team in ourselves. l go to balls
and he gets on bats. Boston Courier.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
Gave Him the Foam.

First actor (pompously): "What
Will You drink, my boyP" Second ac-
tor: The same as you do First ac-
tor: Zone beer! Charles, drink first
-LoaCeU Citizen.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1889-08-01
In the Adirondaeks

you're the most cowardly creature ]
ever met sneered the dog to the flying
deer.
True, was the reply, but 1 always
die game. Life
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1889-08-13
LYNCHED.
An Attempt to Commit an Out
rage Speedily Avenged by an
Infuriated Mob.

La Plata, Mo, Ang. BY >terday
afternoon about o'clock, while Mrs Will
liam Matthews, wife of young and pros
porous farmer living about four and one
half miles west of this place, was out a
short distance from the house gathering
blackberries, she was attacked by a negro
tramp, who attempted to outrage her per-
son. Although he was stout, robust man.
he failed in his attempt. After he
had almost choked her to death,
the scoundrel became frightened and
ran away, and as soon as able Mrs. Matth-
ews managed to 60 to the house and give
the alarm. A large crowd OF citizens soon
started In pursuit of the brute, and after
about two hours chase captured him.
They took him before Squire Davidson, of
Richland township, where he had pre-
liminary trial. Three men were deputized
to take him to Macon City to await the
action OF the circuit court On their way,
about three miles west OF this place,
they were overtsken by party of
about fifty men, who demanded the
prisoner. Although the officers refused to
give him up, the lynchers soon overpOw-
cred them aad compelled them to. He
was then taken to a wagon bridge near by,
a rope tied around his neck and hinged.
Coroner Giilespy was sun moned this
morning and went out and held an in
quest. Tn. body was brought to this
place and buried this afternoon. The
negro was % years old ard gave his name
SIS Ben Smith, and said he was from Chi
cago and las on his way to Kansas City
to visit his mother, who lives there.
Every good citizen sanctions the actio n OF
the lynchers.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1889-08-13
GREEN DGE ITEMS.

Enterprise .,tr. ..-..
MIR. Jas. Perdue, of Sedalia, is
in town to-day.
MIR. j. f. Wright the genial
harness maker is in Sedalia to-day.
MIR. Ell Phillips of the City of
Sedalia was greeting friends in this
village Sunday. --
Mrs. Jas. Anderson, of SedaIia,
is visiting her sons John and Frank
who reside in this vicinity.
-Messrs. John Smith, John Hicks
and A. s. Blades were in SedaIia
Monday looking wise and qusffing of
the pale Milwaukee lemonade, we
presume.
Mr.. and Mrs. f G. White left
yesterday for Sedalia. They were
present at the marriage of their nep-
hew, Mr.. Allen Sweet, which event
occurred last evening at 3 o'clock.
MIR. VIM. Nelson and family
were in Sedalia Monday. Wilyum
visited the fair grounds while ir the
city and informs us that Miss May
White, with her full stable of horses,
rode over the course making the
twenty miles in 51:5O. He thinks
she is sure winner.
Last Saturday morning John
Elliott and Iamas HAIRLESS who live
on adjoining farms near Flat creek,
four miles south of this place, be-
came engaged in a quarrel over a
very trivial matter and in the melee
HAIRLESS stabbed Elliott several times
in the back, inflcting serious wounds.
Elliot now lies at bis home in a very
precarious condition, the chances for
recovery or death running about
even. The men are brothers in-law.
MeElREE,s WINE OF cARouI for Weak Nerves.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1889-08-13
JASPER N. BURKES
To Be Appointed Chief Grain
Inspector of Mis-
souri,.

st. Louis, August S.-ESpecial] The
Board of State Railroad Commissioners
held meeting al the Lsclede hotel to-day
and, while the meeting was secret and
held with closed doors, it is
reported on reliable -. authority
that the board decided to appoint Jasper
n. Burkes, of st. Francois county, chief
grain Inspector. The report is ac-
copied in this city, among
the business men and politicians, without
doubt. Tie board will meet tomorrow
and publicly ratify the appointment.
There will now be a scramble for the
minor positions of which there will be
about thirty. Burkes was for years a
member of the democratic state central
committee and is prominent lawyer and
Dolifician
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1889-08-13
Hay Fever and Rose Cold

Are attended by an nfamed condition
tear-ducts ard throat, affecting the lungs.
An acrid mucus is secreted, the discharge
is accompanied with burning sensation.
There are severe spasms of sneezing, fire.
quent attacks of headache, watery and in
fsmed eyes. Ely's Cream Balm is a reme-
dy that can be depended upon. so cents
at druggists or by mail. Ely Brothers, SO
Warren St, New York.