The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1889-04-30
MR.. AND r BowsER.
By r BOwSER.

IN the other evening just as the individuals
referred to were passing out.
"They called to see when / would be
ready for them"
allow ready?"
at is spring, you know"
"Wen what has spring, you know, got
: TO do with two colored women"
CT have got to wash a few windows
and take up a carpet or two"
"House cleaning?"
"No, not exactly, but then -"
"See here, Mrs. Bowser, this thing has
got to stop right here and nowl Because,
some 200 years ago, ONE old cranky
housekeeper in New England felt obliged
10 rip and tear and upset the house for
two or three weeks in April, all you wo-
men of to-day feel obliged to keep up the
custom.ng@
"But everybody cleans house more or
less
Cant help that. I'm not going to
have everything topsy-turvy around here
for the next three weeks. That will be
the result if you put two women at work.
They will spin out the job as long as pos
sible."
at won't take over a week"
"a week. 1t shouldn't take one day
/ can go at it and do all the cleaning
necessary in n hourl"
/ didn't say anything further until after
supper. Unfortunately for me one of the
women returned to ask about a matter
she had forgotten, and Mr.. Bowser saw
her and said:
care you enc of the women who are
going to house-clean here ?"
"Yes, sah."
"Excuse me, but I don't believe it If
there's any cleaning to be done I'll do it
myself. You-needn't put in an appear
ance here tomorrow nor any other day
can you's gwine to clean house ?" she
asked in surprise.
al am. I know it does not belong to
mans estate, but [ have a young and in
experienced wife who is easily imposed
on, and am going to prove to her that
this house-cleaning business is all fraud"
"Mr. Bowser," [ said, as he returned
to the sitting-room, "didn't you have an
experience last spring."
eyes, ma'am, | experienced this house
from top to bottom in just two hours, and
it still remains the cleanest house in De-
troit. I have nothing particular to do to-
morrow, and I shall take hold"
I'll can't help you any"
"When | want your valuable assistance
I will ask for it, Mrs. Bcvser. As I am
feeling in good spirit this evening, I
might as well begin on that coal stove.
III wrestle it ont into the back hall, ready
TO go to the turn in The morning"
l. went upstairs just as he pulled off
his coat and spit on his hands. l knew
just what a muss he'd make, and I didn't
want to be there to see. In a few minutes
i heard the clatter of the stovepipe, as
four or five lengths bounced around on
the foer, and three minutes later there
was a wild yell for help. I ran down Just
ms the girl got in from the kitchen. Mr..
Bowser was lying on his back on the
hoor, and the stove was lying on Mr..
Bowser. He was almost black in the
lace as he gasped:
"Take him of-take the blamed thing
off of mel"
The girl and l succeeded in lifting it
high enough for him to roll out, and he
sat up and groaned and swore and threat
ened dire things.
81 was afraid it would be too much for
you" / said as / offered him a wet towel.
"Ohl you were! How kind of you
You are disappointed because the Internal
thing didn't knock the life out of me p
1went upstairs and he rested awhile. |
Then l heard him moving the furniture
about, and by and by he came up to say:
" | want some salt to put on the carpet
before I sweep"
"But that carpet must come up, Mr..
Bowser. It's been down two years."
"That's all nonsensel Mother never
lifted a-earpet until it was worn out.
Where's the salt?'
Sc DIT +lo m,m+sa- II |
woodwork be rubbed with a damp cloth,
the windows washed, and"
"And the roof of the house raised ten
feet, OF course. One would think we'd
had smallpox in the house. I'll get the
step-ladder and take the curtains down.
Perhaps I'll take the carpet up tomorrow, |
but it's a waste of time"
He went down and got the ladder, and
L heard him whistling as he worked at |
one of the curtains. His whistle presently
cut short off, and there was a crash and a
yell, and / few down to find Mr.. Bowser
lying across that end of the lounge which
still remained in the room. His ewes
were closed and l thought him dead from
his fall. L got the camphor and the girl
flung water in his face, and by and by
ne gasped and opened his eyes and family
asked:
"Is this Heaven ?'
mo, Mr.. Bowser," I gently replied,
this is only spring housekeeping"
What has h~appened?" he continued,
ms he rose up.
"You had a fall"
"And while / was unconscious YOU
took advantage of my condition to take |
S. bill from my wallet! p
II never thought of such a thingp
Well, l can tell later on. I had a
sensation as OF some one feeling in my
pockets. I'll have that curtain down If |
it takes a leg"
Wont you please give up YOUR
Quixotic idea, MI. Bowser? No man
can clean"
Giant Ell? Well, I'll show you to the
contrary. Quixotic ideal I'll show YOU
I'D all Oh To- 49, !