San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-11-05
HumoR OF The WEEK

VINO Will De courageous enough 10
sit on the barbed-wire trust.-Roch-
ester Herald.
1t is the young man with the sand
who wins the girl with the rocks
Boston Courier.
The corset is a paradox. 1t comes
to stay but goes to waist.-Boston
Courier.
The lawyer earns his fee by words
and very frequently takes it out in
deeds.-Merchant Traveller.
A tailor requires many yards to
cover man, but burglar will cover
him with o small revolver-Texas
Siftings.
the ocean greyhounds have no time
to consider barks AT sea.-New Or
leans Picayune.
A man who has been pretty thor
Oughly corned gets on his ear easily.
Merchant Traveller.
The man who is intoxicated with
love should take a little marriage, to
sober him up. Puck.
Possession is nine points of the law;
but In the thief's case they all point
toward the Sing Sing.-Puck.
Every hunter knows that it is much
easier to die game than to kill it
b arlington Republican.
Speaking Of hunting, sewing societ-
les are great promoters of dears talk
ing.-Pitts burgh Chronicle. 81
Seafaring men are not satisfied with
o "stick" they must have "log" in
theirs.-Yonkers Stateman.
A fictitious travelling man with q
check to cash might be called q snare
drummer. -Merchan Travelles.
Out at sea q ship occasionally
heaves in sight, but q seasick pass
engers perfers to heave. out of sight.
Texas Siftlngs. CIV, -, -, 49,,
The Indian summer has done fair
~ we'll, but it can not be spoken OF
without Observation-Disclosures Tran
| script.
The Turkish-bath attendant is a
| good deal like the modern novelist. He
| handles his subject very freely
| Burlington Free Press.
| He Went Jack Toosoon--I'd like
| you to be my wife, Ethel.
E1hel lUnready-Well, it's q half 60
Puck. .a, "a
Tits the professional sandbagger
/ more than any other member OF socle
j ty, who is anxiously watching for the
I coming -man.-Baltimomre Aerican
i As Usual. First Tomas Ca
How did you happen to meet her?
i Second Tomas-We met by chants
theusual way.-Terre Haute Express
Il An experienced young man says it
i takes only one letter to tell the diff
ference between the summer and win
4 ter styles Of cOurtship, viz gats-grate
II -NOrristOWn Herald,
1 She lat the piano)-Listeni how dc
4 you enjoy this refraine ~.
j He-Very muchi The more you
refrain the better 1 like it.-Musica
iSourier.
1 All things are equalized in cheal
restaurants. II the coffee is weak
the butter will be strong. 1.-THE roll.
are cold the water Will be warm en-
Orleans Picayune.
"What? Is the Widow Brown
going to be led to the altar for The
third time?n
''No, guess not. She ought to be
able to find her way there herself by
this time. "-Fliegende Blatter.
Some one asked an old lady about a
sermon.-''Could you remember it?'
| Remember it? La, no; the minis.
ter couldn't remember it himself. He
had to have itwritten down. Chris.
tian Advocate.
Bridegroom-"Some oysters, wait
| err
! Waiter-"Saddle rocks, sir?n
| Bridegroom-"Er.no, waiter. Bird
al rocks. "-Judge.
| Hope Springs Eternal. - "Grand.
mother, you look quite spruce today
| remarked the young lady.
There was no response.
What are you thinking of, grand.
| mother"
The old lady came out of her dreamy
| reverie for q moment and inquired: :.
"Wasn't-wasn't Maggie Mitchell
| married again the other day, my
ehild?n
"She was grandmamma. What Of
it?n
"Nothing child, nothing"
But the good old grandmother look
| ed placidly at herself in the glass and
kept on dreaming-Chicago Tribune
Registrar of Voters-"How old are
you, madam"
Ancient Female 81 have seen nine
teen summers, SIR"
/, Registrar-"Er, UNI! How long have
you been blind?"-New York Sun.
"Did you hear of the snake up at
the museum that was trying to get in
side of ITSELF"
"Yes. They call him the dude ana
conda, because he's such a swallow
tail. "-Harper's Bazaar. ... ..
HWhat do Won think of chap,naona