The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1889-07-31
Bric-a.Brae.

And down i'm the mill-pon meadow
The boys that were making hay
With forks and rakes killed 5000 snakes
But the biggest one got away
And 80 have heard Of liars
Since Ananias' day;
There are inst few that receive their due
But the biggest one gets awsyi-PuCb.
The average man is apt to. be the next
thing to a fool when he gets beside him
self baltimore american
VOC RE Just too stunning for anything'
exclaimed Jakey to John L., removing the
latter's fist from his eyes.-Hojel Mail.
TBR postmaster of Sweetwater, Wyoming,
has been suspended. The vigilance COM
mittee did IT with rope.-BoJton Herdld
THR near-sighted hen that swallowed a
bee was not long in concluding that hers
was peck of trouble. Bling anton Repub-
Hcdf1.
"Go'to the ant thou sugger" says the
Chicago Herald. II might have added that
Heaven notes the sparrers fall Cjncta-
natl Ehquarer.
THE Springfield Republican speaks of the
English sparrow 6 in our mi ist." That's
good place for him-after he IS well cooked
BostDn Her9I@.
IT seems very odd" says Sputterkins
who is most dsagreeable nan, st that the
first apple was eaten by thor first pair -
NeW GOfb hffWt8-
A HEADLINE in a paper sads: "Chicago
rs. Philadelphia" Is this new way of re-
ferrng to " The Quick ana the Dead7'
SOmerUale Journal.
The trouble with most 81 the mothers
who are trying to make Little Lord Fauntie-
roys of their boys is that they begin on
the outside Louisville olrndl.
WHAT shall call my pley?" asked the
man who had stolen one from the French;
Il 10 Ars.. "A. 4
| because it was translated. --Teyds Siftirqs.
Tn is the fashionable thing now to name
| your girl baby Marguerite. Plain Margaret
won't do at all-not, at least, until she grows
up and Rlarries and is compelled to do her
own ashing.-Chicdgo Tisses.
ONE tearsome thought sweeps into us as
we contemplate Chicago's disposition to an
mex the earth If she shoald do this, where
could her citizens go to keep up their habit
of being eNtradited?- Washington Post.
DRLN@UENT SUBSCRIBER: don't like
the Spread E~gle as | used to- | think the
paper is rather dry" Sarcastic editor:
" don't see how it can be dry. There is
considerable due on your copy. '-Pdtsbnrgh
Post.
al HAVE met this man." said a. great
lawyer, the other day, "in a great many
places where | would be ashamed to be
seem" And for a minute he couldn't I'M
derstand why everybody laughed so up
roariously.
ELLA. " Where Will you pass the sum-
mer2 Are you going into the country
Bella don't know, Pm sure. Papa said
something about going into insolvency,
aad If he says so | suppose we shall have to
go there. "-Boston herald.
IF the stories plblished in some of the
newspapers of Western New York be cor
rect the crop of apples in that section will
be so light this year that William Tell, il
still in the flesh, would find it difficult to
/, appear in his great character.--Meo York
Tribune
81 SEE" remarked Mrs. Snaggs, " that
: there is talk of the Popes moving to Spain.
Yes" replied Snaggs, e" but It would be
more appropriate Tor him to go to Pales
tine" Why - Because the. Holy See
should be near the Holy Land. P1ttSburgt
Chronicle.
Down in Cuthbeat, the other-day, rattle
= snake frightened a cat that scared her
n that knocked a jar from shelf, which hi
: the faucet of barrel of molasses, which
i turned the faucet, causing the loss of bar
: rel OF syrup. The snake was killed.-At
, lama Constellation.
!. He had declared his passion and wa
q feverishly awaiting her reply. Mr.. Sam
n son" she said, and her voice sounded like
4 knell, the letter which you 50 kindly OF
a fered TO post for me two weeks ago to-nigh
= has never reached its destination. Fare
l., well. '--HGrpCr'S BG.dr.
e n METHOD of distinguishing the musll
1t room from the poisonous t0adstool is sal,
n to be by sprinkling salt en- the underside
IS If it turns black it is, good; if yellow
n poisonous, Well, that better than the eat
n ing test, when if you die it is toadstool an
is if you live mushroom 4Neos York HerO.d
RS THE proprietor of a. well-kuown pater
r medicine lately received the following lie
IS ter " Doqr SRA couple of months ag
n my wife was hardly able tospeak. She too
i, two bottles OF your Ital Regenerator. an
IL now she can not speak at all. Please sen
" me two more bottles of your valuable mi,
~ ture. San FrdDci.ao ArgoadW
70, w. DIR BURNETT closely oversees his chi
u dren's reading. Lionel was asked la
~ spring by visitor if he had read tt
II Pretty Sister of Jose - lhis mothers recer
no stony, and he sad No, papa hes not Ina
ne time to look through it yet and he doesn
W. want me to get in the habit Of readir
~. stories except she gives them 10 me"
ed OUTRAGED ERIN: Gintlemin, l WI
ii, Aoike TO ashk thin Amerikins wan thin
he Who doog the canals NV tie coontry b
e. iurrners? Who built the Iairuds uN Il
ve coontry but furriners? Who worruks Il
Je- mines nv the-coontry but furriners? WI
does the votin fur the cooltry but tlrri
ers? And who the divil dshcovered u
coontry but furriners?
THE editor of religious weekly-tl
i0- Christian ihjon-says that getting bu
a OIL piece OF WOODEN ClDsu Is a simple ult
ed ter compared with getting stupid or
RS competent professor out of a college chair
in Has our religious contemporary ever tr
in placing a bent pin on the stupid professor
"; chair? In removing any kind of a Ii
IN, professor from chair the bent pin is wa
by ranted to Ego right TO the spot.
lgs torn ISra!d.
he CHICAGO POLICEMAN: Shtop, Ye boot
spalpane OF saw we wild me own oy
ng murdherin' thot mon wild an axe, an ye'
Ak got the bloody ak in y'r hand yit." Fl'
y" ing stranger (stoppingl' Sure, now, i
RS rself ought ter know Dim no Dootchma
i've OF was only removing a traitor" Chica
of Policeman; O. Wull, | must do me doc
me Be away wild We as fasht as yer legs c
La carry ye, but lave the AK, | must have Il
rst fur clue. "--PUck.
m m ONCE in awhile you will find an ideal ,
ld' itor who opens his big heart and takes I
entire solar system into his coniden
cir The gentleman who drives scissors and qu
All for the Dexter Sentinel is of this noble bre
cle of patriots. He says: We editor was IN
us- ried yesterday to Miss Mary Solicit, c
vid of the most charming ladies we have e.