Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1889-12-12

course, no resemblance could exist be-
tween any of them and the unpoetic,
unpleasant ones among these types.
There is the elderly widower, who is
inconsolable for the loss of his first
companion, though patiently looking
about for his second one.
The man with homely wife who is
desperately jealous of her.
The homely man whose pretty wife
is desperately jealous of him.
The deeply scientific man, who re-
| CARDS all women as poor, perishing
packages of protoplasm. This person
can analyze all the poetry out of June
moonlight, or the perfume and senti-
ment out of white roses.
The playful and portly individual
who always insists upon telling you o
little story that is trife "broad" "you
know, ha, ha." This party is apt to
grow familiar upon brief acquaintance,
unless you freeze him by briefest mon
osyllables; yet, after all, he is harm
less creature, generally extremely tire
some.
Then we have all seen the sharp lex
tremely sharp man, with inquisitive
nose and little ferret eyes. He is
confident that he can see through any
thing and anybody at mere glance.
"His wife knows better than to try to
fool him, she does" He watches over
his housekeeping, knows how many
papers of pins will last an average fami-
ly through the year, and never permits
the hired girl to use two yeast cakes in
making the bread when one and half
will do as well.
Then there. is the young man who is
so dreadfully wicked (or who wishes
to make you believe that he is) that he
spends all of his leisure trying to think
of some dreadful sin that he has not
yet committed in order that he may
rush right away and perpetrate it.
| This desperate youth has "no faith in
woman, not the least"
Quite a common type is the cool
headed, philosophical genus, who
marries meek, rustic maiden with the
intention of molding her into an ideal
wife.
An imposing type is the extremely
moral and financially sound puritanical
| WuUo6 NSI1
would quiver with righteous horror if
he was obliged to talk an hour with a
frivolous female. This kind of man
would look at you, should you say
i"Good morning" to him in careless,
1ight-hearted way, as though you were
intriguing to capture him for some ter
lrible purpose. He is always "on
guard"
Then there is the neglected genus,
with pantaloons frayed at the bottoms,
whose wife does not appreciate him at
all, but who still loves her entirely out
of the fullness Of his big, chivalrous
| heart, as he takes pains to tell you, for
you might become hopelessly interest
ed in him otherwise, and he only seeks
in you kind of intellectual companion,
which really means that he wants the
right to bore you with his stupid liter
airy effusions, and, should his wife be
an invalid, by long accounts of her diff.
. ferent ailments. This creature is one
r of the most naively selfish of beings; he
ends his acquaintance with you by com
promising you in the eyes Of the one
man in all the world for whose good
opinion you care most, and finally quar-,
rels with you because you do not fol
low his advice in choosing your friends
j Another variety, abouta as unpleasant
5 as the one first described, is the ole
man, the very old man with grown-ur
l children, who talks continually about
"my son John and my darter Jane.
: He is widower, and extremely mod
: est in his ambition, only desiring {
wife who shall be young, good-looking
o saving" and good nurse, for he is
laid up with rheumatism two-thirds O
Q the time; and she must have a SINUS
r little property" in her own right, ST
s that son John and "darter" Jane may
}, not forbid the banns. This pleasing
!, mass of egotistical imbecility ought t
be confined in an asylum for elderl,
idiots.
d fact, quiet man, who is apt, upon ocea
n sion, to surprise you by giving evi
dence of latent chivalrousness and fine
ness of sentiment. His opposite typ,
is often seen-the picturesque ant
posing man, who is extremely coars
= and. selfish; the man who is liked bet
y ter by women than by men, the mai
y who is great favorite with men tn
: = pale, sad-looking young man, who cap
I, tivates the fancy by his mysteriou
" silence. When you break through tn
- crust of melancholy reserve, you fn'
y that his mental faculties are engages
- large part of the time in wrestling
= with the problems of what he shal
;o I; have for his dinner, the residue of hi
70 leisure being employed in first obtain
ing the price of his dinner.
Men as fictionists.
;. The romantic liar, with entertain
y ing story of his adventure.
The malicious liar.
" Men as gossips.
The superannuated masher, wit
y y bald plate like polished gourd, an
~ brains as trihing as its rattling seeds
= He stands at street corners and leel
Z. Z at feminine passers-by.
= These are few of the more commo