The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1889-01-31
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Harmless "Whlte Caps'-Nurses.
Regular "old timers"-Dutch clocks.
Well watched-A jewelers. window.
A bad scrape-An amateurs violin
solo.
schnapp judgment-Deciding bet Of
the drinks.
Down in coal mine-A young miners
first moustache.
When the fakes begin to dance, look
out for SNOWFALL.
Rolling stock-Cattle on board
steamship in q storm.
The rain of terror-For lady with
no umbrella and new bonnet.
A burglar who was recently Frustrated
with lockjaw cured hin. elf by picking
the lock.
A little girls view of it, "Minerva
was the Goddess of Wisdom; she never
married."
The clarion notes of the rooster if
written, would, no doubt, be divided
by crow-bars. -Merchant 1raueler.
A parrot will talk on the least provo
cation, but a crow seldom opens it,
mouth without caws.-Nep York World
You'll write it as sure as fate,
But don't find fault or pine,
But scratch with care the 80,
And make it 80.
Merchant Traveller.
We sometimes say tout of sight out Of
mind" but we do not necessarily imply
that blind man is insane.-Neao YorE
Netos.
A.-'The crop of young doctors In
New York is going to be very large this
year." B.-"Yes, but what will the
harvest be2"-Svtings.
Nature uses great many quilts with
which to make a goose, but man can
make goose of himself with only one.
Orchard and Garden.
'John, you are not listening to word
am saying" "Why, my dear, l am all
ears" 81 know you are, and that makes
it all the more provoking"
A ''deaf mute" church has been dedi.
Gated in Philadelphia. A fellow could
snore all through the service and disturb
nobody.-Dansciue Breeze.
A young man who becomes en-
barrassed when he calls on certain
young lady, says she gives him the shake
every time he goes to see her.
The stores are now crowded no longer,
The salesgirls get rest and grow stronger,
While prices OF gifts have 80 dwindled
That some of us feel we've been swindled.
Boston Budget
A Chicago clergyman who married
three couples on the cars the other day
resents the suggestion that he allow
himself to be patented as a car coupler.
Chicago Post.
"What is your fortune, my ancient maidr'
MY wealth is my fortune, sir" she said.
"Can marry you, my pretty maid!"
"If you are as wealthy, sir she said.
NeU York Sun.
Miss Parentalstem (age thirty. five)-
$50 you are going to get married at last,
Pauline2" Pauline-"les, dear, should
think it was about time; you know Pm
twenty -four. "-Lve.
Wife-"Shall 1 put your diamond
studs in your shirt, dear3" Husband
"What on earth are you thinking of /
Do you want to ruin me? have meet
ing with my creditors this morning.
-Je,oelers' Weekly.
Ethel ITO her betrothed)-"Do learn
to skate, George. I'm sure you would
look lovely on ice." George "a young
and rising undertakerJ-''Look lovely
oni ice, would II Thank you. No hurry
about it."-Sytings.
Youthful Innocence: zone of you
boys has been stealing raisins again;
have found the seeds on the floor.
Which one of you was it2" Tommy
SIT wasn't me. l swallowed the seed in
mine. Scranton Truth.
Ills marriage failures" he asked of maid
Who chung pretty close to his side;
"Pm sure can't tell, Sir" the young lady
until you have made me your bridel"
-Metp York World.
Jeweler-"The inscription you wish
| to have engraved on the inside of this
ring, if understand you, is 'Marcellua
to Irene.'" Young Man with some en-
barrassment)-"Yes, that's right. But
| -er-don't cut the Irene deep. y Chi
cage Tribune.
The Professor having given out as
subject for an essay "The Use of Navi.
| CATION, u one of the students concluded
his production with the somewhat novel
statement: "And thus we may say:
THE ship is the camel of the sea. ~