davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24
A Debtors Clear Logic.

could you manage to pay me what
you ous me?" asked one travelling man
of another.
Eyes. I might, but you may as well
wait for it."
Il like your GOODNESS"
: My dear fellow, you are really bet
ter off as it is. You don't doubt that J
am going to pay you this money, d.
your
':Not the slightest"
"And if were to give it to you now,
/ would only borrow it again"
That's more than likely =.
"And the next time I borrowed it !
might not pay you at all. So you see
you arc eater - It'll ".-Merchant 7ruv
sler.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24
NATURAL GAS SUPPLY.
Tho Transfer OF the Industry from Pop,
sylvania to Ohio,


sylvania to Ohio.
The supply Of gas seems to be album
dant although rumors to the contrary
are being circulated. The largest sup
ply we'll in the world was recently
bored near Fndlay. Ohio, producing
100000 cubic feet of gas per diem,
the largest one in that vicinity hereto
fore producing 100000 cubic feet.
Astonishing and valuable discoveries
have been made recently in the line Of
making gas from crude petroleum that
bids fair to become rival of natural
gas as regards expense and utility. II
is claimed by several parties that they
can produce it at cost of from one
to three cents per 1000 cubic feet and
to prove their good faith one of these
companies has recently purchased a
gas plant in one of the Ohio cities and
has contracted to furnish the city with
gas for five cents per 1000 and this
plant is to be running within the next
so days. Chicago capitalists are con.
nected with this enterprise. The sue.
cessful manufacture of fuel gas from
crude petroleum would become i'm.
mensely valuable to custom mauufac.
turers and those of points remote from
large fuel supplies.
There appears to be difference In
the quality Of natural gas as there is in
crude petroleum., the sulphurous Gle.
ment varying in quantity with the diff.
ferent localities and the extent of ite
injurious oxydizing effect on the con.
filming valves is yet to be ascertained.
There are millions of gallons of Ohio
oil stored in tanks which as yet arc not
available for Illuminating purposes or
account of the excessive quantity OF
sulphur it contains. The Pennsylvania
oil containing a smaller quantity OF
sulphur is readily and easily separated
into several valuable articles of use bu,
the great affinity of sulphur for the illu.
minating oil in the Ohio crude OF;
creates an obstacle which is as yet in
surmountable. At one refinery several
hundred thousand dollars have beer
expended In experiments with a view
to purifying the Ohio oil, but as YET
they have been unsuccessful. This OIL
is at present used chiefly for fuel pur.
poses.
there is no great treason to doubt the
decline of the oil wells of Pennsylvania,
and the general transfer of the indus.
try to Ohio. The daily production Of
the Pennsylvania and New York fields
has fallen from 100000 barrels, to 49,.
600 barrels. The rich fields along Oil
nearly dry, and the land is being
reclaimed for farming purposes. The
Ohio fields must become the center of
the petroleum industry. Many prac.
teal men assert that the State can give
a daily yield of 100000 barrels. Men
are at work every day removing the
tanks to Ohio soil.-Cor. albany IN
y Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24
Ono Secret Of Longevity.

Those anxious to prolong this rapid transit
tory existence Of ours beyond the average
span, should foster his digestion, negatively
by abstaining from indiscretions in diet, and
afarmatively by the use of that peerless
stomachic, Hostetter's Stomach Bitters,
when he experiences symptoms of indi-
gestiou. The impairment>o OF the digestive
function is fatal to vigor. Subdue with the
Bitters, also, fever and ague, biliousness
and constipation.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

In Central Illinois, what is known as the
granger" plan prevails among shippers Of
small fruits to Chicago. This is merely q
combination Of shippers joining their ship
ment to make up carloads under direction OF
leaders at shipping points, and unloaders
at destination, acting in common for oil the
shippers, and obtaining carload rates OF
freight for each contributor to a carload
Each shipper, however, determines his owr
c0nsignee at Chicago.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24
PuNoENT .PARAoRApHs.

-Jarvis-..How true tho proverb ID
that man = what his wife makes
him. ~ Jervis-t.And how true it Il.
too. that man does what his wife
makes him. - Terre Haute cypress. /
Husband (severely) -"What! more
money? Suppose I was dead-you
would have to beg for your cash. I"
Wife (calmly)-''It wouldn't DO as
though l had never had any practice,
sir." -Chieago Globe. =.
Freshly (rising to go)-''I'm sorry
to break up your hand at whist, Miss
Rosalie, but really I can't stay any
later" Miss Rosalie-''O, never mind,
Mr.. Freshly; Tn sure we shall get on
with q dummy just as we'll. "-Rostos
Post. ga %s>
AT public dinner a DISTINGUISHED
statesman was placed between Madame
de Stael and Madame Recamier. "How
lucky am" said he; there am l
seated between wit and beauty" And
without possessing either one or the
other" observed Madame de Stael.
Nothing better reveals the unset
fishness Of clairvoyants than the fact
that for paltry dollar they will re-
veal to others the lottery ticket that
will draw the capital prize instead of
keeping the valuable Information to
themselves and profting by it.-De-
troit Free Press.
why do you call the photograph
'she?" asked the horse editor of the
snake editor, who had used the fem
mime pronoun in speaking of that in
ventiou. ''For two reasons. First, it
talks back; second, it always has the
last word. ''-Pittsburgh Chronicle.
Wife CRITICALLY ill)-''What does
the doctor say, George?" Husband
THAT you are very, very i'll, dear. {"
Wife (after short pause)-"1f should
not get we'll, George, give my sealsIzin
sacque to your sister. Ill just let her
see it's real. She has more than once
insinuated that it's only plush" -
Epoch.
He was determined to 60 out at
the end of every act. Three acts had
been played, and three times had he
scraped by and trodden on the feet OF
his neighbors. At the end of the fourth
act, as he went crashing through the
narrow space, a lady in the aisle seat
said. in her most dulcet tones: "Sir.
l trust do not incommode you by sit
ting here"'-N. 7: Mews.
The newest thing in wedding tours
is called the ''Secret Honeymoon,
neither bride nor groom having any
idea where they are going. The idea
is not new. For years many young
people have married without having
any idea where they we're going or
how they were going to get there when
they did know. They didn't have
enough money to 60 to housekeeping.
-Norristos0n Herald.
-Judge-''Why did you attempt to
throttle your friend, here?'' Prisoner
HE called me a liar" Judge
''What caused him to address that op-
probrious epithet to you?'' Prisoner
IL was telling him that my grand
father is still living at the age of 1O7,
and" Judge-"That certainly
offered him no excuse" Prisoner-'I
was telling him that my grandfather
is still living at the age of 107. and
-" Judge-''That certainly offered
him no excuse" Prisoner-''I went
on to say that my aged relative doesn't
retain his hearing, can't read without
the aid of glasses and is not in the
habit of walking ten miles or saving
three cords of wood before breakfast.
Judge--''Then you are a liar. They
oil IL ,, T:f,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

CouaHs AND HoARsENEss.-Their irritation
which induces coughing Immediately re-
lieved by use Of "B,o,pn's Bronchial
IToches." Sold only in boxes.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

Wife suffered six years from suppressed
menstruation: Has been treated by the best
physicians without benefit. Two bottles OF
W. A. S1MMoSs, McNutt's, S. c.
Write Bradfield Reg. Co., Atlanta, Ga, for
further particulars. Sold by all druggists
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

PAIN from indigestion, dyspepsia, and
too hearty eating, is relieved at once by tax
ing one Of Carter's Little Liver Pills i'm
mediately after dinner. Don't forget this.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

PAIN in the Side nearly always comes from
adisordered liver and is PROMPTLY relieved by
Carter's Little Liver Pills. Don't forget thls.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24
An Unusual Chance.

AN UnUBue0 Cn1nC0s
How to receive four numbers of six cent
paper for two and q half cents q number:
Send ten cents before the 1st Of April to
Robert Bonner's Sons, Publishers, 1874
William street, New York City, and they
will send you months trial subscription Of
four numbers of the New York Ledger in its
uew form and artistic makeup.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

TIE girl who eloped with iveryman
was evidently determined to get groom
of S0ma kind.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

WHEN q fellow has the rheumatic, he
knows what tits himself, without rheumi-
mating over it-Detroit Free Press
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

DoN'T Wheeze and cough when Hale's
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

pupils do not smoke ID 1872 800, 900
cigarettes wore miiauufaotured. Last
year there were 1900, 0o0, COO. Prof.
= Il Latin. Caanspion Athlete Of IL
World, in ~ YsMol and E1press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

UNDERGONE cakes in the course If time
will batter down any mans stomach.-N.
O. Picavuuo
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24
TWO SLANG PHRASES,

Some Anecdotes Of Charles Queen, the
Actor and Humorlst.
Charles Queen was a good deal OF
wit, in his way, and was the author
of at least two well-known expressions.
"A cold day when we get Left" and
''Chuck full of blue mud"
The origin of tho first expression
was this: Mr.. Queen had a friend in
Elizabeth, n. j., with whom he always
stayed when playing in that city. One
Sunday morning the two started out
for a ''bracer," but Sunday closing
law that had just gone into effect in.
terferol with their project. How.
ever, they hired a rig and started to
drive into the country, having made
up their minds not to return until they
had secured that drink. They had to
drive more than fifteen miles before
they were successful, and on their
return to tho home of Mr.. Queens
friend they were glad to get near the
fire and thaw themselves out, the
weather being bitterly cold.
"Well," exclaimed the hosts wife.
as she came into the room where the
two worthless were hugging tho stove,
Il don't wonder you two men are al
most frozen; the thermometer is only
ten above zero.'
YES" replied Queen, winking at
his friend, Its cold day, but we didn't
get left.''
The next week, while playing in New
York, he repeated the expression to
one of the actors, who used it that
night on the stage, and in few weeks
it had travelled from one end of the
United States to the other.
One day, whilc walking along Broad
way, Queen accidently stepped into q
pail of blue calciminc that stood on the
edge of the sidewalk. He scraped the
calcimine off as we'll as he could, but
before he reached home it had dried on
his shoe and on the bottom of his
trousers. A friend meeting him on the
street, stopped him, and asked what
was the matter.
20, nothing" replied Queen, ''only
I'm chuck full of blue mud. "-Detroit
Free Press,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

THE culinary work in monastery is not
done by Friar.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

IT was estimated that tho holiday sale OF
books in New York would reach 1,0oO, 900
volumes.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

LOST in the outskirts-a woman, when
she can't find her pocket
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24
IL You Are Sick

With Headache, Neuralgia, Ri umatism Dyepep-
sia, Biiousness. Blood Humors, Kidney Disease,
Constipation, Female Troubles Fever and Ague,
Sleeplessness, Partial Paralysis, or Nervous Pros
tration, use Paines Celery Compound and be
cured. In each Of these the cause is mental or
physical overwork, anxiety, exposure OF malaria,
the effect of which is to weaken the nervous sys-
tenn, resulting in one Of these diseases. Remove
the CAUSE with that great Nerve Tonic, sd the
HE4IIIT will disannear.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

AN ordinary umbrella is the product OF
700 skilled workers.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

A NAVAL engagement-popping the Ques-
ton at sea-Time.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

IF afflicted with Sore Eyes use DR.. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it. Csc
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24
She Suffered for Six Years,

THERE are always two sides to a case ex-
sept with an open. faced watch.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24
AMERICAN AMENITIES.

Some Foreign Criticism Which We Car
Dtamiss with . Smile.
The ordinary receptions at the
White House are characterized by an
almost equal amount Of freedom. The
people walk about the rooms in an
artless manner. picking flower here
and ripping of leaf there. thumbine
the editions de luce which lie upon the
tables. salivating anywhere-although
q large number of spittoons, euphe.
mtstically called s.'cuspidores. !" are
provided on such misunderstanding
their chairs up to the tables, and gen.
orally making themselves quite q,
home. Indeed, more than once OF
twice have a couple of democratic
danes INDUCED in a set-to for a chair
they had simultaneously selected.
That all is both 'painful and free" We
do not need to be assured by the sight
OF the coatless colored gentleman
who pushes his way through the
throng to ''grip massa President
Nevertheless conversation among our
American cousins is constructed on
brisk and business-like lines. There
may be small charm of expression OF
conventional prettiness of phrase, but
the words, be they drawled slovenly o,
intoned at high rate of speed, arc
directly to the point. OF course the
language differs greatly from our own,
although there is a deal that passes
for American slang which is to be
found IN our dialects or in Elizabethan
literature.
The promiscuous use of elegant" il
an evident importation from the Emer-
aid Isle; mad" for angry is pure
Sussex, as is also the down East
"axey" for "ague." A square NEAL
is an expression well-known to the
dramatists of the Shakespearean era,
and the indiscriminate use of the word
bug" for all manner of insects is good
old English enough. Many of our
country folks to this day call the lady
bird the LADY bug" the cockchafer
the MAY bug" and the green beetle
the June bug"
We seem to strike new ground, how
ever, when we find shirts spoken of as
waists short coats as sacks, ~
boots as 'shoes." q purse as q ''pocket.
book" goloshes as ''slip-gums," hand
bags as "grip-sacks," the smaller
articles of feminine attire as mo
tions," and scents as ''odors." It is a
little surprising when an American in
forms you that he is going to tell you
goodbye" when he arrests your at
tention and prefaces his remarks with
a laconic "Say!'' and request you to
repeat q remark with an invariable
''how'' in place OF our what" And
when fair American insists on your
seeing Niagara in winter, because 1.-The
tall is jest as big and the trimmings
are so nightly elegant meaning
thereby the beauty of the surroundings
OF ice and snow-it is, to say the least,
a little painful. But then, when a
beautiful sunset, tasty dish, the
weather, a certain route, or drive, or
view, are all equally elegant" what
can we expect?-London Standard.
two Ct ANG ohDACEc
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24
Paine'S CeIeN COMPOUND

JAS. L. BOWEN, Springfield, Mass, writes:-
paines Celery Compound cannot be excelled as
= Nerve Tonic In my case a single bottle
wrought great change. My nervousness entirely
disappeared, and with 1t the resulting affection
o. the stomach, heart and liver, and the whole
tone of the system was wonderfully invigorated.
I tell my friends, If sick as have been, Paine's
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24
BUY northern GROWN

Of 1sss pTa;se my seeds snd ssT tbev incseesed
Yields. YES often doubled them By sowing my n ort
ern Grown eeedeEgtving them on Wheat 20 b,
Oats go Corn ~ feta1oes 600 co. ETC.,
and 91,28O ON Vegetables for largest yield In .
1859. You can win one or more il you want to-
growing seeds. Floor room Of seed store over .
acres; cellar capacity 6oy000 bus Our city has a
mails. 20 trains and express daily, so we
can fill all orders ct once Send &c for Grain sam
iple or 10c for Giant Cabbage and get Fine Cataog
free. JOHN A. eALZERs Il Grease. Wis.
aa-NAME THIS PAPER every time .ou vrits
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

hands, is now covered and carefully
concealed from the rays of the sun and
the action of the air. It will be readi-
ly seen that this is most abnormal
state of things, and the idea that so
powerful an agent in the production of
life and health can be replaced by any
amount of medicine or any internal
remedies must appear preposterous to
every reflective mind. Place a plant
under such unnatural conditions and it
will bleach, wilt and die. The same
is true in a degree of the animal crca-
ton. The whole process of nature is
continual breaking down and build
ing up of tissue. 1t never stops for a
single instant and when the building
stops the breaking down is found to
progress with extraordinary rapidity.
TO be healthy the cigarette must be
thrown away. 1t is very injurious and
sure death to those who smoke thep,
habitually.. Tobacco in. any form is
bad. In a cigarette there arc five poi
sons, in q good cigar only one. In q
cigarette there is the oil in the paper,
the oil Of nicotine, saltpeter to pre-
serve the tobacco, and opium to make
it mild and the oil in the havoring.
The trouble with the cigarette is the
inhaling of the smoke. If you blow a
mouthful of smoke through handker-
chief you will find it leaves = brown
stain. 1nhale the smoke or blow it
through the nostril and all the stain
will disappear. The oil and poison
remains in the head or body. Cigar
cites create thirst for rum. There
should be anti-cigarette societies as
there are temperance societies. Teach
ors ought TO watch and soo that theit
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1889-01-24

AZ D1vo0lB1D AID DIAI110.
mn cNARlES 4. voeElER CO.. Daajas,s. II
The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1889-08-18

IN his oi:co ~ the Chief EngTn. er against George
W. Gardner, Of H. and l. 20. NO. (and .etAilea q
me Fsn s rules aoSer,ns the deparsmens rcfus
ing or negiecthg 70 pay John ~ Medlll ~ p d q
accused, on being called. appeared and pleaded
not guilty and stated that the claim IN question mao
On motion of Commissioner Quinlau. the charges
MISCELLANEOUS BUSINESS.
The President announced having deposited with
the City Treasurer the sum OF Two hunered and Ten
OF manure ana rent Of old buildings and presented
Resolved, That the foremen OF this Department be
required TO perform eighty per cent. OF dutv, and
keep record o. inc duty performed BY the foremen
OF their respective companies end forward report OF
this resolution 10 take effect August /, 1889.
ADOPT "a by the following vote:
Motion by Commissioner Henderson, and adopted.
That when ths Board adJourns AZ does so TO rnoss
Wednesday evening, August 2. 1889. ut O'Clock.
Revolution BY Committee on salaries:
f.esosved. That warrants be drawn In favor Of the
permanent men of this DEPARTMENT also the COM
when due. as per list ied herewith. amounting il
the aggregate TO five thousand, seven hundred and
Adopted BY the inllowin vote. the ayes ana nays
having zen orderen and taxen:
Yeas-Presldent Conway and Commissioner ouin.
The board then took recess for the purpose OF
sudit1k claims. Upon reassemoiing al the mems
AUDITING OF CLAIMS.
well Co., s. 20 o. ana SIS ss Henry ~ 2 witipsn
ss3 10 Carscailcn Cassidy. SEQ 65 and SIS sci Ou,
sro 80 81 md T. 81 ri
so, and Charles Esterbrook,. 500 95, having been
yeas and nays having been ordered and taken:
YsasaAii The members Of the e Board.
then adjourned until wednesday evening, Auguss
= -'''' ~ . : ' CHARLES EsTERBRooK, CLERK.
The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1889-08-18

"Do not speak SO bitterly, Anna. If
what you say is true, my fault is much
greater than yours, for 1 have far less
excuse. Believe me, in everything there
Is compensation. Remember, after all,
you have Gerald, and If he is not Mr..
Vanbruton, at least he is not quite penni-
less" And so saying Alice quietly left
the room.
after all, you have Geraldw These
words rang in Annals ears as she paced
to and fro; but had she got him? What
would he say If he knew, if he ever
happened to know? She was thinking
thus when the man himself entered the
room. He went straight to her and took
her into his arms.
Darling, can you ever forgive me for
having so grossly deceived you? At first
/ did it for fun, and then afterwards l
did not dare tell you. as / feared that you
would send me away, thinking that !
was Alice's lover whom she was not to
meet, and that / should have to leave
you. What must you have thought of
me, believing me to be engaged to one
girl, and yet knowing, as you must have
known, that had fallen in love with
your Will you forgive me, dearest?'
She drew herself gently away from
him.
II forgive you with all my heart;
listen to me, and then wonder If you
can pardon as easily,
81 will listen to nothing" he cried inn
petuously. ~ know you love me, that
is enough" Once more he put his arms
around her, and this time she did not re-
sist.
''Are you sure" she murmured, 'tyou
are not mistaking me for Alice?" For
answer he kissed her lovingly and ten
derly, and she seemed quite satisfied with
that renlv