Morning journal and courier., 1889-03-09
BAD.

"Those Thompsons are bad lot. Three out of the four ought to be in the penitenti- ary." "What of the fourtha" "He's there. ]" Time.
 Domestic (who has been catechising pros pective mistress) well, Mrs. Sharply, you have rather bad name among the gurls in town, but Oi think Ofll give you try."- Life.
 Logical. ole is Missy Anniea Why. chile, she mus be a-goin' on fifty. When I was six she was twelve. Oats twice s ole as me. I'm twenty-foah now. Yaas, Missy Annie's fohty-eight yeahs ole."-Harper's Bazaar.
 The thermometer of secondary importance. -"It's bitter cold, !" said 8 husband, with a shiver, "why don't you button up your fur- lined circularq" "Because I want it to fiy open, replied the lady, placidiy. ."-The late Philip H. Welch, in the Epoch.
 The Eighth Wonder.-Mr. Winkg-s:I see raising flowers for the manufacture of per- fumery has become a new industry in Florida" MT. Miuks-(a perfumery manu- facturer) )-"Flowersa" "Yes." "For the manufacture of perfumerya" "Yes." "Well, wonders will never cease"-New York Weekly.
 The family moved into the. city and she (the daughter) went to Sunday school. The teacher singled her out for examination and asked her: "Can you tell me the name of the mother Of the Lords' 'Please, ma'am, we have just moved into town, and haven't got acquainted with her yet.n-San Fran cisco Chronicle.
 Magistrate (to prisoner) you ever been arrested before, Uncle 'Rastus?' Uncle ,Rastus-sNo, yo' honah, not to speak of." Magistrate-"What do you mean by not to speak ofa' Uncle 'Rastus-sI mean what got rested fo' didn't mount to much. I never got mon 30 days. has CT high re- spec fo' de law, yo' honah. Epoch.
 Sympathy-Miss Maydew-'It's very dis tressing to think that while we are enjoying so many luxuries so many poor people sre wanting neeessaries." MT. Cleverclat (who poses as 8 philosopher)-s'Quite so. Bat ing to the poor people to know that while they are wanting necessaries so many people are enjoying luxuries. Fun.
 A Question in Natural History-"Pa," asked sleepy Bobby, "can ask you one more question if it ain't foolish2' "Yaas," al- most shouted the old man who was trying to read. Well, if toad had tail, pa, would it interfere with it's jumpin' or would it help him, like it does the ksngarooH' In less than it takes time to tell it Bobby was between the sheets. late Philip H. Welch in the Epoch.
 The Pig and the Cow-A Pig having fallen into Pit set up loud Squealing for Help, and the Cow came Running to see what was the Matter. In her Anxiety to be of Service she caved the bank in on the Pig and Smoth- cred him. "Alasl" he gasped, with his Dy- ing breath, Chad called the Bear, who is my Enemy. should have been no worse off" Moral: It's about an Even thing wheth- CT you call the Doctor or the Lawyer-De- troit Free Press.
 GA thousand dollars for the little picture," "Yes'm, but it is in oil, you know, and" oe an awful monopoly that Standard Oil com- pany isi"-Boston Transcript
 Mir. Rambo (at dime museum, in great alarm-''Nancy, do you see anything in that cage next to the monkeyea" Mrs Rambo -"Yes, there's a lot of snakes" Mr. Ram ho with recovered self pOssession1--"So they are. Fine specimens, teo aren't they" Chicago Tribune.
 Theory and Practice.-Young Wife-"Are you the editress of the Household department in the Woman's Companion?" Mrs. De Letter -aYes, have had exclusive charge of that department for ten years." "I'm so glad we are near neighbors. I am sure you won't object if run in once in 8 while for little practical help about cooking, will youa" ''No, indeed; come in whenever you please that is, after next week. My cook is away temporarily and my husband and I are talk ing our meals at @ restaurant. ."-New York Weekly.
 The reader who's in search of fame
 May think the way is dark;
 Yet the man who cannot sign his name
 Is the one who makes his mark.
 -Harper's Bazar