Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1889-08-15
PunusNT PARAGRAPHS.


One reason why so many Amer
leans return penniless from Europe is
because too much Hoyle is cast upo-
the waters--Oil City Blizzard.
-"Style," says a writer on literary
topics. ''means every thing" Yes"
said ellison, whose wife is devotee to
fashion, lit means every thing a mans
gOt."-Washington Capital.
When a man makes up his mind
that he has got to economic, his first
impulse always is to begin by inquiring
into his wite's personal expenses
Somerville Journal.
There are so many learned female
graduates nowadays thrown upon So
ciety, there will be no need of a fellow
buying encyclopedias or dictionaries.
He can marry one, all bound III silk
Elk.
"A number of young women in
Cuthbert. Ga, have organized an anti
kissing society. Those who have seen
the members say that such precau-
ton was not ecessary.-NorristOw
Herald.
Mary" said her mother severely,
''if 1 am not mistaken. saw your head
on Georges shoulder. What sort of an
attitude is that for a young lady?"
Mary. ecstatically. 'Be-attituden'-
Philadelphia Press
MIR. Jinks-'I dom know how you
will feel about it, sir. but the fact is
that my wife, your daughter, is dread
fully hard woman to live with" Mr..
Blinks-'I can sympathize with you,
sir. married her mother. IN. Y.
Weekly.
The minister with severity
''And so you do not believe every thing
you learn at Sunday-school, Richard?"
Richard-'No, sir; not every thing"
The minister-''My little hoy does"
Richard-"Yes. sir. Isuppose your lit
tie boy has to."-Life.
-Jinks-'l called at your boarding
house to-day and saw the table nearly
set for dinner, and must say things
looked very neat. never saw whittier
table-cloth in my life" Blinks-''No;
she doesn't make her tea, coffee or
soups strong enough to stain"
"A woman, considered to be half
witted, was being leased by her neigh
bors on being an old maid. How is
it We never got married." asked one.
30, We see." she replied, IF / had
been as easily pleased wi man as
your mans been wi wife, MIGHT
haze been marrit fifty times owre."
Farmer Greene (from Wayback)-
Il always was accounted remarkably
long-headed in money matters, do you
notice it, professor" PhrenOlOgist
(who has had his pay in ADVANCED
''No don't notice any such develop
ments, but if your head only was as
long as it is thick it would be daisy"
Time.
Mrs. Walworthy - 81 declare,
Henry, your eternal talk, talk, talk of
how good cook your mother used to
be will drive me wild some day! My
most fervent wish is that little Johnny
will never worry his wife that way
when he grows up and has home"
Mr.. Walworthy-"There's no danger
of that. "-Terre Haute Express.
Mrs. Nibbs-'rm shocked, Willie
Jones, to hear you use such awful Ian
guage, positively shocked. l think
it's high time your mother took you in
hand" Willie-"Yes'm she has. She
told me this morning 1 must stop 'soci-
ating with your little boy, cause he
was maxim me as bad as hisself. y
Philadelphia Record.
Wife (reading from paper)-''This
paper says that peanuts are injurious
to the voice" Husband-''Is that so?
l never thought there was so much
virtue in a peanut. l wonder what
they cost a hundredweight??" Wife
I'm sure don't know. Why?" Hus-
band-I was thinking of laying in a
stock of them. Do you like peanuts,
my dear?"-Yankee Blade.
Say" said a stranger in the city,
"why are the bells tolling. and the
flags at half-mast, and what means this
procession of about 10000 peOple?"
"A funeral" was the laconic reply.
Some great man, s'pose-a famous
general, or some wealthy citizen who
gave several million dollars in char
typ" Neither. Only poor man
who year ago endeared himself to
ali sensible people by killing an encore
fiend at an opera performance. IN.