Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1889-11-13
a TYPICAL WITNESS.
What Mrs. Knapp Knew About an Az.
saNlt and RAtfncY Ca8a. s..


What Mrs. Knapp Know About an An
sauit and battery Case. S
There Is no witLoss 80 difficult to
handle as the one WAC insists on en-
tightening Justice by giving a recital
II some purely personal matter utterly
irrelevant to the case on trial. This
style OF witness is usually a female,
and the exasperated lawyers feel ten
years younger when she steps down
from the witness stand.
A lady OF this turn of mind was late
" witness in an assault and battery
case which was tried before Justice
Duffy in New York. She lived on the
same floor with the Pattersons, who
had INDUCED in connubial fracas. 1t
was thought that Mrs Knapp's testi-
mony would throw food OF light on
tho somewhat conflicting statements of
the other Witnesses. Mrs. Knapp,
whose jaw was tied up; ourtsied to the
court, smiled at the jurors. and having
been sworn, assumed an affidavit OK
preston OF countenance, and waited
Tor something to turn up. It may be
mentioned incidentally that the wit
uess' husband was in court, and seated
by the side OF the lawyer of Mr.. Pat
terson. who was being prosecuted by
Mrs Patterson. '<,.@< s..',~ .s-. .@
Mrs, Knapp, what do you know
about this casep" asked the lawyer
Il woke up off and on during the
night, and my jaw ached SO that"
Lawyer-''Never mind your jaw.
Please confine yourself to the assault. ="
Salt is no good. I've tried bags Of
hot salt until the skin was blistered. {"
please tell what you know about
this difficulty"
just 40. Well. as I was saying,
when I got up I knew I was in for a
bad day. sol says to my husband"
MADAM" said the little Justice,
blandly. Eve would like to get at the
root of this matter.'' '...
THAT'S just what I was doing when
you spoke. felt sure there was an
abscess ut the root Of"
MADAM, will you please toll what
you know about Patterson striking his
wife?"
lin q minute, your honor. I was
sitting in the kitchen holding my jaw,
and"
Mr.: Knapp Ito lawyer)-''That's a
lie. Nothing-not even the toothache
CAN make her hold her jaw"
Justice Duffy-'.Keep right on,
madam, and tell what you know about
the row."
Mrs. Patterson came into the
kitchen. and she says"
Every body now became interested
and leaned forward to hear what was
coming.
Yes, she came into my kitchen, and
she says just what your Honor said
put salt on it."
Justice Duffy Madam. said moth
ing of the kind. Your tongue seems
to I've like one of the planets. Nothing
short of the power that started it can
stop it." !
Mr.. Knapp-'Duffy has got her
down fine. She is like an Cd hen.
When she starts to cackling she don't
need any help"
Mrs. Knapp with scornful look at
knapp)-'l walked the floor for hours
and hours. Mrs, Patterson says l."
Justice Duffy-''Well. nobody ex-
pected You to walk the ceiling for
hours. Win you answer the lawyers
question:"
'Of course Amt that what I've
teen doing? Ny husband. who is al
why's full of fun VIII n he isn't full OF
beer. told me nd better come and
see YOU"
Justice Duffy-.'See mef''
Mrs Knapp-"Ye,. he said I ought
t. see somebody with pull, and you
had th3 biggest pull in the ward"
Lawyer-''Madaln, you can step
down"
Mrs. Knapp-.'You don't want to
hear my testimony"
Justice Dutfy-'.No,. mad I'm, you are
not required any longer 49,"
Mrs Knapp-''Well. this Is a pretty
how-de-do. Here ie:.ye the clothes
in the tub. and the breakfast dishes
not washed. to come here aud te l you
what | know. and I'm snubbed this
way. It's Just outrageous,
Justice Duffy-"Call the the next
Witness" ~ % - = 3 s's'z
Exit Mrs Knapp indignantly.-
T. xas Siftings.