Daily Republican., 1889-01-24
MIR. AND Mrs. BowsEI:.
ny MRS. now SER.

terribly.
1t was away back in June that he first
began TO refer to 1t. He lost his Keys
one day through hole in his coat pocket
and as soon as he entered the house be
turned that pocket wrong side out and
exclaimed:
'Look at that, Mrs. Bowser--look at
that believe you claim to be vile
and mother and housckeeper."
"You have hole In your pocket"
ooh, have And you can see II. You
can actually see 1t ~
"You should have called my attention
to It before, Mr.. Bowser. I'll mend 1t 10
about minute"
"No, you won't. A wife with no more
interest 10 her husbands clothes than
this, should let them entirely alone. |
You have been the means OF my losing
all my keys, and now ] give you fair
warning that you don't get no Christmas
presents out OF me not even stick OF
gum"
lie got a darniug-needle and piece of
string and mended the whole himself,
and as his keys we're returned to him
later in the day, he apparently torgaye
| me until next time. Along in June he
| had a soft corn between his toes, aud one
evening he said:
"seems TO me you ought to have heard
of some cure for soft corn"
81 have. A lady told me that soap and
borax cured one Tor her. Shall fix up
some lor youi"
he was delighted at the idea, and
shaved up some soap, made tho prcpara-
tion and fused over bis foot for an hour.
Next morning that corn was so sore he
could not put ou his shoe, and he limped
around and yelled at me:
| .lYnu dtd n IN snruFa FaVpnua on me
you know you did. You expected blood
poisoning to set igl'
~ simply told you what a lady told
me-"
81 dent believe anyone ever told you
sol Soap and boraxl Think OF III The
stuff would kill q horsel l had planned,
Mrs. Bowser, 10 make this q memorable
Christmas for you, but now I'll be bang
ed II dol You don't get as much out OF
me as you can put into your earl''
The corn got we'll In three or four days
and IL was six weeks before Mr.. Bowser
had another opportunity to terribly me.
One night had to go down stalrs for
some medicine for baby, and when
started, Mr.. Bowser lay on his back, his
knees drawn up, and his enore making
the earth tremble. When / returned,
he was behind the door, and l had to
speak To him twice before he would come
l
out.
"Mr. Bowser, what on earth ails your
demanded.
"Where have you heenp
"Down stairs after the peregorlc."
''Did you upset a CHART"
eyes; do believe you thought burglars
were In the house, and you got up and
hid behind the door"
"You believe that, do youi" re shouted
as he braye'y walked around and looked
over the bauister.
"Well, there's something very queer
about it,
"Mrs. Bowser," he said, coming back
to me, "you have cast reflections on my
personal couragel Your object is to hum
BILE mel You snew / was after my revolt
yer, but you chose to cast q slur where
another would have praised. was think
Ing OF diamonds for your Christmas pres
ents. shall think no more. You won't
even get hair pin from mep'
Three or four weeks passed away, and
one evening he came home with couple
of tickets for the theatre, aud ms sted
that we go. We went. He did not like
the play; somebody stole his gloves, and
we missed the last car and had TO walk a
mile and a half He restrained himself
for the fret half mile, and then the explo-
sion had to explode.
"Mrs. Bowser," he began, "this Is the
last time you will ever make fool Of
mel"
"Wby, what have done?"
"Donel Didn't you drag me off to the
theatre and bring this resul, about"
mo sir. 1t was you who first sug-
gested our going"
at was, cha That remark settles you,
Mrs. Bowser. l WAS thinking OF pair
OF bracelets and a sealskin facque for
Christmas, but shall think no more
no morel If you get even paper of
Plus you may be thankful"
About the LIST OF December Mr.. Bow
ser went down cellar one evening after @
scuttle of coal. On coming up one ear
of the pail gave way aud upset the scut-
tie, aud Mr. Bowser was thrown of his
balance, and went to the foot OF the
stairs, 1 was in tho second etory, and
knew nothing Of the mIshap until he
came limping up Stare and shouted:
"why didn't you tell me that ear was
loose2"
"Because didn't know it."
"No you did't know 1t because you
haven't the least interest 10 what goes on
about this housed Here I've gone and
almost killed myself on account Of your
carelessnessp
SPIN very sorry"
'0b, yes, presume so; but that won't
! count. Don't expect any Christmas gift
from me, Mrs. Bowser-not one-for
YOU won't get even shoeetringi
A week before Christmas Mr.. Bowser
J suddenly flung down his paper one even
! ing and ran TO the back door TO count
the strokes of fire alarm. He was In
, rush and there was ice on the steps, and
tho result was that he got atumble, which
tore his coat, emptied his pockets and
skinned his shanks. He didn't say o
: word, much to my surprise, until he got
$ back into the house and looked to see II
ALI the doors were closed. Then he stood
before me and sternly said:
II believe that was q PLOT to Kill me
r off,"
, ''Pshaw, Mr. Bowser"
! "Oh, you can 'pshaw' and ''pshaw'
until doomsd day, but know what know.
You knew that ice was there, and you
knew would meet with fall"
) "Did ring that flre bell?"
"Did you try to stop me as went out?
had look cd around little to see about
a watch for a Christmas gift, but this
settles 1t. Don't expect anything from
me, Mrs. BowserP
And yet Santa Claus brought me lots
of nice gifts, and Mr.. Bowser was as
happy as any one In the house over the