Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-03-12
Wednesday Morn, March Is.
A WESTERN WEDDING.
How a Wyoming Justice of the o.
School Tied a Matrimonial Knot.


School Tied a Matrimonial Knot.
1t appears that one Jonas Burton had
been chosen justice Of the peace of one OF
the small Wyoming towns, not because he
was possessed of any special qualifications
for the Office, but on account of his personal
magnetism, which had about if all those
qualities which go to make the yellow dog
thing of beauty and joy forever to the
lovers of pure cussedness. Among other
functions Of his Office, says the Workers
Statesman, Hon. Jonas one day found him
self called upon to join in '' bonds of pad
lock-" as matrimony is sometimes called in
the West, raw young couple from up the
country.
His Honor was appalled, at the situation.
He could commit horse thief to the gal
lows with all the elegance and i'm
pressiveness of manner which that act de-
manded. He could sentence a man to Jail
for life for holding five aces in his hand at
poker, without turning a hair, but as
''marryin' folk he wasn't in it, be goshtle-
mitely!" But as justice of the peace he
had to do it, and his perturbation of spirit
was dreadful to witness.
About an hour before the ceremony was
to take place the correspondent, accom-
panied by one Of the leading citizens of the
place, Mr. Stiles, was sent to the sqxire's
cabin and found him poring over large
volume of the statutes of Wyoming, sweat
ing like horse, and looking terribly anx-
ious. After greeting the callers he said.
'Styles, the burned galoots that got up
these yer laws hadn't gumption enough to
last them over night. I've run through the
blamed book half dozen times, an can't
find dod blasted word about matermony,
or how tina hitchin' process is proceeded
with. I've just got to put the clamps ON
this couple hit or miss, an eff don't yoke
'em up legal l can't help it.''
"Oh," said Styles, "just do the best you
can. Any kind of ceremony will do in this
country, for people never question the legal
ity of the thing. FL post you as well as l
can"
Stiles then explained to him how he should
proceed, and the old man thought, finally, he
could worry through IT, Ere long the cou-
pie appeared, followed by a crowd of the
citizens of the camp. The candidates stood
up before the old squire, who said:
"Feller-citizens. this var man an this var
woman have appeared before this court to
be hitched in the legal bands of wedlock If
any galoot in the mob knows of any thing
that mout block the game eff TUX to higher
court, let him now toot his bazoo, or else
keep his jaw to himself now and forever
more. All in favor O. me proceedin' as
authorized by law say T."
Every body said IL"
Contrary, no.'
Nobody said mo"
"The motion is carried unanimously, an
the court rules that thar hain't nuthin' to
prevent the tryin' of the case. Grip your
fms" The candidates joined hands.
Amos Peabody, do you solemnly swa'ar
tibet you'll freeze to Mandy farever an
ever, Thet yell love Ter and pervide fer
Ter, an treat 'er square an white, accordin'
to the rules and regulations sot down to
govern SIGH cases in the laws O. the United
States, so help you God!"
'.Yaas, sir: do. sir.'
THAT fixes your end O. the bargain.
Mandy Thomas do you solemnly swa'ar
tibet yell hang on to Amos for all comm
time; tibet yen nuss him in sickness and
be square to him in welness; tibet yen be
to him good, true, honest, up an
up wife, under the penalty prescribed by
the laws for the punishment of SIGH Of
lenses; do We swa'ar this, SO help you
Godl"
Il swa ar I will"
Then by the power IN me vested as
justice O. the peace, in an fur this precinct,
pronounce you, Amos Peabody, husband,
an you, Mandy Tomas, wife, an legalize
We to remain as such now an furevermore;
an yen stand committed till the fees an
costs in the case be paid in full, an may
God have mercy on YOUR souls, and bless
this union with his heftiest blessin's"
The fees and costs were adjusted and,
after receiving the congratulations of the
assembly, the newly-made husband and
wife departed for their cabin up the creek.