The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-01-13
BRIGHT BITS.

A CHICAGO oFFIcE-sEzKER who has inst re-
turned from Ind Annapolis reports that Gen.
Harrison appears 20 te suffering from lockjaw.
Chicago Item.
PATERFANuIAs after admoniton in another
form 10 Hopeful Take dat au get to yo' book
Fuss thing so know q De ANIMATION yo' woan
know ye A from yo' aIfyoet.-HdrDer's
Bazor.
MorHEs--I wait TO ge, q real sweet, smooth
name for my baby daughter.
tiouly Uuc.e ,sGO is thinning OF a saiad)-
Wen, why don't you cal her Olive Oil?-BostOH
Gazette.
"JoHN, you are not listening to word am
saying"
why, my dear. I am all ears
Il know you are, and that makes it all the
more provoking. Life
BIGsEE-Ticser, Row long does it take a man
to become tirst-class OperatOry
Ticker-Oh, bout three years.
Bigbee Ticker, now long have you been in
the busnesSy
Ticker-Oh bout three years PUCK
AT THE WAGNER Observation-Disclosures
blss ban player (as a crashing chord nearly lifts
Tim off his seat)-"Good play"
Aud then, catching lnterrogative glance
from Mrs. QuarteFrest, he adds
I-I-beg your parlOn, What is the scorer
BuTiiR 0ton Free Press
SUDDEN Loss OF FAITH Doctor Pill lat medical
meeting What's tue matter with DR. Physic
10. nighJG he appears TO De IN a terribly bad
uutuOF-0OtnlnR BuL ldLl-ilcs. lrdSciDilltV and
slurs every time tn wonderful progress OF
medical science is mention d.
Doctor Powder He has had rheumatism for
si.; weeks, and all his brother physicians who
were called in only made 1t worse.-Net0 York
Weekly,
MORE TRIBuLATIoN.- Mother-What's the mat
Daughter-Oh, l m in sIch trouble. 1t seems
es Il 1 d 20 crazy You see this little autogra ph
album that Mr.. Nicefellow gave mey
ar aipiy a ~ & Ia 1ffy
We'll, on the ty zeal I've found the store
price mark, and II can't make out whether
boo hoof whether it means s. or 80 cents
Philadelphia Record.
THE MAN He WANTED-Attorney for defense
TO man drawn as juror Permit me TO ask you,
Mr.. Idunno, il you have conscientious scruples
against capital punishment
Juror Hey?
Attorney-Are you opposed, on principle, to
the execution Of condemned criminals?
.iuFOr-lIuh?
Attorney hastily)-We'u take this man, your
hoGor-ChcGgo Tribune.
JIdPLEcUTE & Co. have failed, said tho con-
tidential clerk Of Har1scrabble & Hardscrabble
to the senior partner.
Well. they don owe US anything do they?"
as Eed The senior partner.
No; as nearly 1 find cut they have
fail ri at their own expense
"BahlN said the sen or partner, in disgust,
that is not a failure at all That is the work of
dundcrheads sir Do not degrade the word
failure by applying 1t to a mere unbusiness-
like smashup, l am surprised at you. Nj.
Lo1gineter Chic o Ne,CS.
A TIREsoME CALLER Mrs. windshield the
baby m uncut, there's dear. l want TO put
back these pictures got out for Mrs. Minks to
look at. such a tlTesome creature as she 10
She was here for nearly nalf an hour this
afternoon, and did nothing but talk about the
baby.
Mr. Winks-Bless his Atile heart. So the ladies
come and ST and admire ana talk about the lit
tie cherub, do they or course they do; they
cart help loving
Mrs Winks Gracious mel 1t wasn't my baby
she talked about; it was. her own.-Phliadelphia
Record.