Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1889-12-06
MIR. AND MRS. EoWsER.


Mi. Bows'r mas Deen tuat way eve,
since we were married, and | suppose he
Will Keep 1t up TO the end-just like all
o her bnshands When he brings home
bali dozen collars know Ii Mt circu,
Is atout to begin, and 1 prepare accord
ihg!y. After supper he goes up stairs t
try them on, and | t4ke seat on tn,
lower step, knowing iul well the part
am TO play. For couple Of minutes al
Is quiet. Then hear the mutter of dis
tant thunder, followed by an exclama-
tlon Of:
by the great horn spoon, but If had
that man here Pd murder lint"
About sixty seconds later his head an
pears over the babister ard he shouts:
Mrs. Bowser, come up hereW
whats wan eiP'
Some up here. Look at those collars,
will your
WHAT'S the natter"
Matter. That Internal shirtmaker
ought to be sealrcdl told him No. IS.
and he has made them all No 20"
"Nonsfnsel Here's the STAMP on
them, aud they arc all right. Try one
on.
lie buttons one en- aud they fl
srcndiily. Indeed, he never had such
a fit. He looks In the glass, however.
grows red In the face, aud shouts:
LOOK at III III kill that man before
noon tomorrow He has done it to spite
mep
"Mr. Bowser, that collars is all right.
You hal never one that set"
Right! Right Look at it huuch up in
The bupkl Ser hOH It sats In -
serve how 1t Ia saving away at nv earsl
Non want me to look Ike n balloon.
don't youf Iii walk IN on that shirt
maker after breakfast t0-morrow morn
ing, and II | don't slam tue buttons oif'n
him then I'm lalW
but | cant see anything wrong with
them"
mo, OF course mott II they made me
look like baked owl you couldn't see
anything out OF the way! Mrs. Bowser,
I've got to have long talk with yon'
There are some things which must be set
tled!'
And neSt morning he puts on one of
the collars without word, and there is
never any further iauiliinding. They
were a 1T and all right, bnt he wouldn't
be an average husb band II he didn't growl
and kick. 1t is when his new shifts
come up that the whale meuagerie is nut
on exhibition free gratis. They inyari-
ably come up OF a Saturday night, aid he
wants to put one on for Sunday wear. |
know what is coming, and | take baby
oyes to moiher's and LiYe til cook lib
erty to go out for the day. am hardly
ready for him when the magazine ex.
plodes.
"Mrs. BowserH' he shouts over the
,anister.
"Weln'
''Dii Lynch bring home my shotgun
asst night2'
what do you want OF r. sLot-suu?"
ITO XIII the Internal IDIOT who made
hese stirtsl III have his life before the
un sets to night I'll murder him right
before his wife and chlldieul"
by, Mr. Bows,rl What's the mat
er with the ,hirtsP"
"Matterl' he yells as lie jumps up and
Town, holding one OF the shirts at arms
cnRth, "evtrything's the matter! My
,anh Is II inches scant, Rnd he has made
heso 1000 rods longl Look ut that
20. oml Look at that yOkel Ill follow
hat man 10 the end OF the earth but what
I'll have his uloodl'
why, they look oil right 10 me. TIL
)and is SIN with starch, you know"
'l'll stiileu that id OF with something
besides starch! People impose on me be
,ause never kick, but the worm has
urned at lest. suppose III be sent TO
State Prison for life, but that 81 au't
tant i'll the way OF .hy revenge "
PUT on another and lll come up and
zee what the trouble s."
Ten minutes later he calls and 20 up
o find h N red in The face and breathing
lgrd. ! button the shirt in the back,
pull 1t down and it dts him like u glove,
1ut all of sudden he gives a Jump,
waves his hand after the manner Of
Booth ard eIclaims:
Veal III hunt him down and crush
he lite out OF him"
mir. Bowser, there's nothing wrong
With this sLirt. You never had one to
1t you better"
'Nothing wroIgl Why, 1t feels as II
had put on an Old coffee sack. Look
It the way it punches up in the neck
See how II binds on the shoulders.
yOulin't be found dead with this shirt
~"
swell, as said before, can't see
wrong with f."
Oh, you can'tl Anything is good
nough for me, 1 suppos'. II some fool
ent me up sheet iron shirt you'd think
t was oil right. You eau 60 down
talTs."
''But aren't we going to church,"
"Church! Djn't say church to me
m going out and commit murder"
Abou. dinner time he ieols easier, and
Ifter supper his indignation has all
10 -
me oil his shirts, Gnd IL Isn't week BE-
ore he is Dragging of the per eet fit
1t is the came about any other garment
Ie buys. A few weeks ago he wanted a
oat. He selected the goods, got mea.
urel by leading tailor and they made
i'm try IL on twice to be sure that Il was |
good tit. 1t came up IN good time. and
nst as We were getting ready to GO out to |
card party. He at onCe decided to
'cGr it, but had scarcely uu led the bun
lie, when he exclgimed:
THE sap-headed son Ut the goose, but |
don't believe this is the goods picked |
utl9
"You SAID you got diagonal, and this
5 thst sort of CLOTH" replied, as In
peeted 1t.
''fut he's lined It with cambricD
"Why, no, he hasn't. This is serge
med. That is whal is commonly used"
He put 1t on aud this tit was absolutely
erlect, but he huucAei up one Shoulder
nd then the other and gIowed:
Ute too short wasted. told him
Oxen times over to look out for that.
THE waist is all right, my dear. You
iever had nicer At
But it's too short--six inches too
hort Inc wsll-eyed idiot, hut doesn't