The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1889-03-20
PlTH AND POlNT,
Always in doors-Keys.

A spanking team-our parents.
A regular caller The army bugler.
Always good for cold-Pocket hand ham
kerchief. 80.
Designing men, every one Of them
Architects. $9
Conceded to be in 'the swim
Fishes Of the sea.
Round about pleasure-Equestrian 9
ercise in the riding academy ring.
A slight-of-hand performance r
jecting suitor.-Burlington Free Press
In New York sign of wealth is adj
mond pin. In Philadelphia it IS ate
rapin.
What most husbands exclaim VIII
the dressmaker's bill is presented
"Ahem!''
The only gems that are drug in Il
market-Gems of thought. .-Biayhamss
Republican.
When a crook advises a pal to, sk
does he put fee in his ear!-Btnghda
ton Republican.
Of all the cannes, the one that q
ways has the appea ance of being "dov
in the mouth" is the bulldog. al
Erprsss. ..,...-.. ..,
It is quite as much Of q mistake
suppose that china dogs are of Celesti
origin as it is to believe that lapdogs q
from Lapland.-Bazar.
Biones-'sThere's not much encoufag.
ment to be good in this world" Mer1
1--WE never think so until we q
caught doing bad."-Nev York Sun.
Sophrouia keeps out of the kitchen
And saws, with q withering look,
She could never endure her husband
To aver that he married cook
-Goodairs Sun.
Would-be Patron-"Whst is the leg1
fare for ten blocksf" Cabman-"Dunn
If you want ter know anything 'bo
law go ter lawyer. ."-PaiIadsIphsa q
cord. ~
Egotistical, boastful and conceitd
people are ameng the passengers
every ocean steamer, but the create
"blower" of the Atlantic is the whaa
Null and E:press.
Funny Barber-'I hope this razor
all right, Mr. Figgle. You see, I shaw
a dead man with it this morning
Figgle (placidly)-"Gidy you wake him
-lerre Hauts Erpre:s.
Never a woman with secret entrust
Shs surely will tell, or else she would bust
But one secret she'll keep; this truth you m
The mysterious secret of her own exact age.
The locomotive is no coward, but
will run at o minutes notice, it "
back out of tight pace in a hurry, al
it takes water whenever 1t gets
chance. - Washington Critic. #ia
81 see Browns store is closed now
an Injunction" said Mrs. Spriggi1
"What new-fangled thing II they ha
neXti In fathers time boy was gof
enough to close store.'-Baar.
A young divine tells story of a grod
who, after the marriage ceremon
slipped two-dollar-bill into his han
murmuring, apologetically, '.rll
better next time. e."-Harrer's MagaSf
Woman has got two sets of eyes, 'tis said,
With one sci she will look right stratG
ahead,
And with the other set will strictly con
Just what passing woman has got on.
-Goodairs Sui
Miss Ketchon-"Did you knock
the door when you came to.nigl
George2" MIR. Tumblety--"Yes, Am
Why do you ask?" Miss Ketchon (shy
ii thought perhaps you had COT
with a ring."-Mg YORK. Sun.
Electric lights are great boon
chess players. They change night in
day and the game can 60 on indefinite
as many as three moves being made
twenty-four hours, without any int
ference by darkness. Mao Htrt N'aos.
Paperwate. -."How are you getting
with your English, Count" Count Chi
treuse-"Ver' well, indeed. Las mig
ask ze hotel clerk who is re what-y
call 'Whitechapel fiend,' and he say
me, He ees dandy" look in 7e d
tionary, and i find me zat re dandy is
lady killer. ."-Lie.
An Irishman, travelling on one of t
railroads the other day, got out Of t
cars for refreshments at way static
and unfortunately the bell rang and
train was off before he had finished
pie and coffee. "Hould on!' cried p
as he ran like mad after the cars; ''hou
on, ye suffering ou!d stame ingind
ye've got passenger aboord that
left"
Missouri is the only State in the Uni
that makes no provision for her milit
IL iInaa n