The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-17
RATHER HEAVY JOKING.
A Story Told of Grover Cleveland and
q Chicago DamOcrat

chicago Democrat.
From, the Kansas city Times
President Cleveland was fond Of Joke so
| much so that he found himself compelled from
| time to time to repress his disposition in this
| regard. One of the best Incidents in this line
| occurred when Congressman LAWYER brought
| forward for introduction. simply to pay re-
Spects, one of his constituents an old character
| from CdicagO, ex-Alderman Pat Sands who
| had accumulated large fortune in the plumb
| ing line and loaning money at Shylock rates of
| interest. The ex-alderman loved his hoard like
| a miSer, and, approaching the situation Dir
| LAWYER called the President aside, saying: Il
want you to have little fun with my friend
| here. He is democrat and very wealthy man
but holds on to it strongly. Just ask him to
! loan you 100000, and observe the conse-
quences" Mr. Cleveland at oIce caught on -
and VIII Il Mr.. Iawler presented Mr.. Sands in
| glowing rhetoric as one of the most enterpris-
ing and patriotic adopted sons OF Chicago, the
| President Rrasped his hand warmly. After the
usual compliments mad passed thePresident drew
the eX alderman aside and said: Alderman |
am delighted To meet you, and l want YOU to do
me great favor"
"A favor is i.?" innocently replied Mr. Sands
I'm be greatly honored, Mr.. President, if you'll
| only name it, and Pat Sands is your man.
| well, - continued the President, In the most
confidential manner, Il can't tell my private
| business to everybody, but as you are good
| dem crat, and 8 friend of my friend Congress
man LAWYER, l don't mind speaking freely TO
| YOU GU see got married a rev months
| and the expenses were very heavy. l must, of
course, keep up appearances, being the first
democratic President elected in quarter of g.
century, and the fact is I'm hard up just at
| present. Ny salary is $4,000 a year, and it's
all spent Now, want yol to loan the 500 900
say for a couple of years, at per cent, and
| help me out of my trouble. You can spare me
| that Ill am unit without missing it, -
| Totally unpr pared for any such demand Pat
Sands jaws dropped asunder and his eyes bulged
! out to the slze OF Bermuda onion. He essaYed
| to speak, but in vain. He looked first one side
and then the other and the scene became so
ludicrous that both the President and Congress
man LAWYER could hardly contain themselves
| The effect was just what Lawler expected for
| the ex-alderman was greatly shocked; the veins
| OF his forehead pro ruded, aud he seemed on the
verge of an apoplectc stroke at being asked to
| give up SlO0,OJU even to the President. Unable
| TO longer stand the pressure. the exalderman
| rushed forward, aud, seizlng Mr.. Lawler by the
coat tails, he dragged him toward the door.
| crying:
''Lawler, let's get out of this! Great God
| man! Did you ever hear the like Of that? A
| hundred thousand dollars. Why, it would lust
| ruin me forever
| Mr. Lawler allowed himself to be dragged
away, While President Cleveland, although
| keenly enjoying the joke, was evidently
| alarmed at the terrible effect it had produced
| The ex-aiderman never stopped to take breath
| until he was out of the white house grounds
| and safe on Pennsylvania avenue. Hurrying to
| Willard hotel he hastily packed his griDsac
1 II.
| Notwithstanding the protestatlons of Mr. Law
| Ter. who endeavored yainly to explain that the
whole affair was joke. Mr.. Sands was not to
| be appeased nor notified. replying:
| I'm off for Chicago by the first train, and
| don't you forget it. And I'll not come to Wash
| ington again TO pay my respects to all the
democratic presidents that EVER lived. Why did
| you tell the President that was a rich and in
| huential citizen? I'd give S. in cash if you had
| only told him was after a watchmans place in
the Chicago custom house at $50 a month";
| REV. CHARLES STURGEON, son of the great
| English preacher, VINO is now lecturing in New
| York, had better look up his American history
| a little In q sermon last SUNDAY evening" while
| urging his hearers to have tue courage of their
| convictions, ne cited in illustration the case of
/ Henry Clay, who Was ask to run for Presi
| dent. "Nobly,' said the p eacher, did Clay
| reply: Gentle nen, cannot run on such plat
| form. would rather be right than be Presi-
| dent His friends changed e plat orm. Clay
then accepted, ran for President and was
/ elected, ana to-day his name is revered for he