The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-01-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Got the stuff in him-An effigy.
Babes in the wood-Wooden dolls.
Potomac flats-W Washington dudes.
All poets have trouble with their feet.
Cuts a good fgure-An expert sculp-
tor.
A race across the Atlantic Eng
lish.
The still alarm An overwound Ameri-
can clock.
The Port of London-Logwood and
currant wine.
A matter of some weight-Proposing
to a 2OC-pouud widow.
A touching sight--A small boy irvesti-
eating newly painted door.
The immediate delivery system Your
money or your life.-B0 TN Gazette.
A woman should be able to do more
than man. She has a slighter hand.
A neighbor had so natural picture of
a hen that it laid in his drawer for
week.
The reason why a sailor is called tar
is because he is constantly pitched about
by the ocean.
No matter how good a man may be,
when he ships as a seaman he gets into a
mess. OcelR.
At Montana wedding: Justice
"Arise. Grab hands litched! Six
dollars. Cash up; no trust
A wave on which many poor fellow
has been carried away is the wave of a
lace edged cambric handkerchief.
Ill lot
And icy winters here.
The clubs have plenty time to brag
OF what they'll do next year
There is q man in New York who, it
is said, can eat nine pounds of steak at
sitting. lie is the greatest steak holder
we ever knew.
Edison's phonograph has one merit
that is worthy of consideration. 1t never
talks unless talked to. But, on the other.
hand, 1t talks back. .-Net0 York Neto'. =
De smithville (at the theatrc) c)-"Do
you like tragedy, Miss Butcher" Miss
Butcher-"Uh, l dote on it. l aways
attend papa's s'aughter-house twice a
week."
The funeral of Colorado editor who
charged a State official with being such
a dastardly robber that he would rifle a
cannon, was largely attended IFdsh--
ing'oR Critic. 20 to.
One of the saddest sights in this :! e to
of ups and downs is to see an ~ Know
My Redeemeth l.iveth' motto exposed
for sale in a pawnbroker's window
Neo Yark Nerctny
In Iceland it is the custsm for every.
body to kiss every body else he meets. IT
,nNl laaI Of olyiD in Tanlan1
to meet only the people you would really
like to see. SOm0rfiiie Journal
A st. LOUIS physician has cured
woman of chronic nervousness by com
pelling her to spend four weeks in n
boiler factory, where she couldn't hear
herself talk. .--Detrou Fie} Press.
There is wealthy man uptown who
does not hire a pew in church, because
he believes in paying as he goes. He
goes twice year and drops nickel in
the box each time. .-Ne,0 Horh Snn.
Husband Severely" What more
money. Suppose was dead-you'd have
to beg for your cash." Wife Calmly
at wo lldn't be a though ] had never
had any practice, sir Chidgo GioLo.
Young TIfes faint hearted Just
tHlHhi tuSSl HlHS, INV pOoI am W u1s
what could | make of youl" She
(bravely --'Well, you could make Mrs.
TITLES of me if you had any nerve."-
lHdshHgi0H CfHie.
"BulTa o Buffalo ~ shouted the brake
man, looking in the car door as the
train reached that city ".'y Jover cX-
claimed the excited English tourist,
my gun is in the luggage room, you
know n'-NdB dEd Express.
A cat sat ON the old back fence, his com AIDES
all had fed,
And as a natural consequence things few
about his head
Boot Jacks, bottles, stools aud bricks, the
neighbors wild did fire,
But he his chops aid cllmly lick ami loudly
yelled "Ma-r-an
''See here, nay friend" said a farmer
to a tramp, you've been lyin' in the
shade Of that fence for over thirteen
hours. Amt it bout time to move on3'
''If you say so, replied the tramp, strug-
Cling to his feet 81 s'pose it is. Pm
only tryin' to make my shoS st as long
rs possible. '-- Time.
Asa specimen of the ponderous legal
MIR, Baron Huddlestous latest
obiter dictum is not bad. "Such was the
Inuicacy OF the lunacy laws" said his
lo;dship, that they had tendency to
reduce persons who gave an abstruse
study 10 them into persons for whose
benefit they were Intended