The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-09-13

HuERs of Wood-House painters.

A OAR Secret-a kiss in the tunnel.
IT is not the face of a check which we
admire so much as its figures.
The sc~issors-grinder is the only man
who invariably finds things dull.
WHEN the Father of his Country got
married was Martha warranted to
Wash?
PAT1ENT-Doctor, how do you pro-
nounce apoplexy? Doctor-Well, usu-
ally fatal.
"FALsE wonT cried the young man
who bet that his girls teeth were her
own and lost.
JoHN-You look down in the mouth,
old fellow; what's the matter? Jack
Down in the pocket.
WHEN pa gets to burning natural gas
in the parlor, she will have to be very
icautious with her flame.
The near-sighted hen that swallowed
a bee was not long in concluding that
hers was a peck of trouble.
How IS it yo.l-Ae@e so few deaths on
your hands, doctor?" "That's easy
enough. When I find I have a bad
case I order the patient to take a trip
abroad.
A sEwING-MAcH1NE agent falling ill
was told by his physician that he must
prepare to pay the debt of nature. son
the installment plan?" whispered the
agent feebly.
HUBBY-What kind Of stuff do you
call this? Wife-Why, my dear, that
is angel cake. Hubby-Umph! I sup
pose it must lie. 1 know it was never
meant for a mortal.
PosEYBoY (sneeringly)-So you have
gone and got engaged to that old Dollar
grab? I suppose he Is worth a million?
Miss de Smith (contemptuously)-Yes.
of such as you are.
THERE are 200, 900 models in the
United States Patent Office, illustrating
almost every conceivable phase Of hui
man ingenuity, but the model husband
yet remains to be invented.
BUFFALO! Buffalo" shouted the
brakeman looking in the car door as the
, train reached that city. "Hy, by Jove,
. exclaimed the excited tourist, "Mv gu,
O is in the luggage-room, YOU know"
AT the Club-Old Muggins (who ha
d married q young beauty, and has nc
n yet tired of Boosting about ibid 70
a ever see my wife, Ruggins? Youn
S Buggins-Lord, yes! Pm engaged
,e her-when you die.
IN REV. PRIMRosE-You're a good DO
T. my little fellow. I saw you take the f
out Of the basin of water. Such lit
g. acts Of humanity never escape my q
on ~tention. Little Johnnie-I did it
that 1 could pull his legs out.
INQU1RISG Youth-What are tho
waterproof gloves for, Mr.. O'Patricl
Mr.. O'Patrick-Why, me jewel, sur
and they're for the convenience of tn.
folks as wants to wash their hands will
out wetting their skin at all, at all!
SrNDAY-School Teaclier-Are Their
e any questions that the class would Xix,
to ask? Little Tommy Tuttle-WhaI
l kind of lights did they have in the ark
at night? Little Johnny Sawhorse-]
l know, teacher. They was arc-lights.
: ALIVE YANKEE" being awakened b
i the captain Of a Mississippi River steam
boat with the announcement that h
s mustn't occupy his berth with his boot
on" replied: "Oh! the bugs won
l. hurt EN- much, I guess; they are an Of
par"
The Rev. Primrose-Mv dear sir, 20
d should give up publishing your pape
on Sunday. A. man shouldn't allo'
himself to be hired by the devil in tbs
O way. Editor-Tut, tut. sir; you don
1 know what you are talking about. II
the man who hires the devil.
n A GENTLEMAN who had lost his nos
/ was invited out to tea. my DEAR" sai'
: the kind-hearted lady of the house t.
2 her little daughter, Il want you to b.
5 very careful to make no remark abou
< Mr.. Jenkins nose Gathered arounC
r the table, everything was going we'll
The child peeped about, looked rather
puzzled for a long time, and at last
startled the table with: MA, why did
you tell me to say nothing about Mr..
Jenkins nose? He hasn't got any,"
Nv ycyOBsyCE