The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1889-01-12
p,INcENr PARAGRAPHS.


The man who said that marriage
..s.rhles a lottery labored under .
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. When you patron.
lie lottery you have some snow o.
coming out ahead 'oa,"as.
-Dudexin (who had just put on .
new suit of clothes L. the snop,.
.Wait minute, I'll 60 over 70 I'm, sno
bank aud get a check casheo. M 81
(going out with him)"-Well, NJ
low suit."- Washington Post. "a.
The young wife who makes q 81.
for her dear hubby not only runs the
risk of shaking his confidence In ner'
but also of losing all her former admlrar
ton for him when she sees him Win II
on.-Tsrre Haute Erpress.
1T is amazing how quick the bakers
find out when -four goes up, and now
awfully deaf and blind they are when
a slump in the market knocks " on
the price of a barrel. They must want
to make some money out Of the BUST
ness.-DetroI Free Press. 7
-Dutiful daughter-''Now, mother'
don't ask me to marry that man. l adj
mire and respect him. but ! do not love
him." Practical mother-''O, that
don't matter. You won't see him often
enough to grow tired of him. He's .
politician. ~ philadelphia Record.
Its we'll known that there are abb
solutelv no genuine chamois skins in
the market; but, notwithstanding, an
English firm is manufacturing new
cloth in imitation of the imitation skins
They will be just as good as the real
skins, it is claimed, and will be sold as
limitations.
There ought to be law in this
country providing that none but pretty
women should ever wear wells. Then
all the homely women would break the
law for obvious reasons, while the
pretty women would discard the wells
through vanity-and the eye of man
would be gratifed. Journal Of Ednco-
ton.
Wife (reprovingly)-"The great
trouble with you is, John, you buy
good many things you don't need simply
because they are cheap. That is false
economy" Here is alady's
watch bought to-day for twenty dol
lars that's worth every cent of thirty
dollars" sWife-"O, thank you, John;
why. it |as real bargainr'-N z.
Sun.
One of the latest feats Of endur-
ance is that OF playing the piano for
thirty-six hours in one inning. 1t is
the player, and not the listener. who
is awarded the prize for endurance.
The listener generally becomes ex-
hausted and wants to die in the fourth
Magazine.
Miss Clara (blushing)-"Do you
know, Ethel. that young Mr.. Sampson
proposed to me last night and / accept
ed hime" Miss Ethel (heartily)-.I
congratulate you sincerely. Clara Mr..
Sampson is noble young man." Miss
Clara-"Do you know him well?" Miss
Ethel-"O, yes. It was only q few
months ago that ! promised to be q
sister to him. ~ Time.
Mother, take or send your son to
the barber when his hair needs cutting.
To be sure. he may get his little head
full of political and meteorological
chat from the lips Of the loquacious
knight of the shears and razor; but on
the other hand. the boy who habitually
has his hair cut by his mother IL likely
to grow up social pariah, If, indeed,
he does not develop into a red-handed
villain. Boston Transcript.
lin the course of q discussion about
the Holy Writ recently overheard q
lady remarked that the Bible was q
history Of men; that her sex was rarely
and but incidentally mentioned as COM
pared with the space devoted to men.
II confess" she added, that 1t strikes
me Is being most singular. There
might have been more said about U.S.
20. l don't know" replied her friend.
''The authors of the various books had
studied womankind, and
knew they'd be able to speak for them
selves. "-Harper's Bazaar.
AN HISTORIC Spor