Milford chronicle., 1889-03-29
ONE DAY WITH A CYEIC.

Mr.. Thomas Leggett gives no outward
signs Of the confirmed pessimist that he is
He is now so years Of age, the possessor Of a
good digestion and fund of anecdotes. This
you must observe, is a rare combination in a
professional cynic, But Thomas Leggett has
changed wonderfully since his school days.
Then, remember he was trusting, c0n1ding,
and rather more easily deceived than were
other boys Of his own age Moreover be was
young patriot, believed honestly and reve-
entially in the stars and stripes, hallowod
the names of Washington and Patrick Henry
and threw his whole soul and all # his influ-
ence into the proper celebration Of tho Fourth
of July.
And now, after a separation Of thirty
years, ! was to meet Thomas Leggett a5 his
home, We were to renew our youth and basS
in the glorious twilight Of "reminiscences /
had received a note from him ordering" me
20 repair TO his domicile promptly at a. m.,
and to then and there pass the day and even
ing. What a cheery, grotesquo Yet unique
and picturesque little bachelors quarters
were his! The house was a small, irregular
Queen Anne cottage in the center Of a large
lawn in a fashionable suburb. The exterior
and the coy rooms within impressed one
with their air Of impudent neglige and scorn
Of conventionalism.
The Tom Leggctt who welcomed me on the
porch Of this home on this particular balmy
June morning-the lawn sparkling with dan
delions and the air heavy with the incense Of
ulacs-was not the Tom Leggett of thirty
years ago. That Tom was thin. sensitive
youth, with girlish face and eIcminate
ways. This Tom was fat, bluff, hearty, sleek.
quizAcal, roly-poly and cool as "a beer cellar /
bob" he said, extending both hands and
almost crunching the bones Of my own with
his genial grasp, Il am glad to see you"
He did not, certainly, need 20 make afIi
davit to this. l believed him.
Il see Tom continued, abruptly. ''you OBJ /
serve the chipping Off Of the raint. It's an
old swindle-a chemical imposition. Won
know. l told the scoundrel who sold it TO
me that believed It was a fraud, and the /.
perjurer offered to 60 before q notary and /
swear that it he'd given satisfaction to a .
thousand famihes-in another part of the .
city John'-to the butler-"send no two
bottles Of port-the red seal-tlat hasn't got /
quite so much logwood in it as the other"
Then we went into the library.
"Ihis," Tom Leggett sail us trife bet
ter than the front parlor There are some
real things IN this room-these books, for in
stance. Some of the bindings are cheap,
trashy limitations Of Levant, tree calf aud
morocco, but the thoughts. the language. the
style-they are all real and substantial
There's Shakespeare; but a man named Don
nelly is turning the hose on Shakespeare.
and trying to extinguish the immortal fire
OF his genius. But even Donnelly himself
doesn't believe that Shake is a fraud. Oh
no. Donnelly is too old a literary cam.
paigner, has lived too long, and has got the
world down too pat to believe any such
thing himself. He caught all he was fishing
tor-a couple Of hundred thousand or so.
hiched from the pockets of nabobs and fools
mostly fools. Have a cigarl They are
Connecticut cabbage with medicated paper
wrapper. Don't bite too much of the end or
the filling will oil sift down your assophagus.
A man should get a good cigar for Si5
hundred, but l can't do it when send for
'em. The dealers won't put you up first class
goods for first class price unless YOU stand
over them with a shotgun Don't sit down
In that Eastlake chairl Great Scottl You
must know that an Eastlase chair is only in
tended for an ornament in q furniture store
window, to stand there waiting for some
chump to bite at it. don't care a rap about
your breaking it, but you might hurt your
self. Take the sleepy hollow. There's Day
Doll across the way. He's got his whole
mouse hlled up with Eastlaies, all except his
new parlor set, and in this the old ignoramus
has given himself dead away. How do YOU
suppose he has rugged his parlor ung7
purchased an imitation Turner or Mum
kacsyF I ventured
mo, he wouldn't trust himself to buv
pictures He wouldn't know a NIunkacsy
rom a soap makers lithograph. But when
le got bis new parlor set in he had linen
pants put on the chair legs and all the satin
md plush covered up. That, Bob, is a stand
ng advertisement that old Dayboll, rich as
le claims to be, has actually got in lot of
urniture that he can't afford to use. That's
T. Bob; be can't afford to use such rich STUFF
md he makes holy showsof himself by bav- S
ng it in his house. Why, a man might MS /
veil plug up the top Of a china cuspidor TO {
ieep people from splitting in it. I'd hate to
make public confession that was too Door ]
use my own furniture Bahl7 d
Now, the cigars were fair and the wine
vas unobjeotionable. So l ventured TO sue.
sst that both were fine. Tom REGARDED me-
ttentively for moment. Then he said. q
ravely; S
Bob I'll take that from you for old times t
AXE, But, tell you honestly, if any one
lse had said it l should have preached him
srmon on hypocrisy that would have made o
IS ears burn, and when he went away he v
'ouldn't think half as much Of me as when Il
came. You do something in politics, I g
idge, Bobm S,
I was obliged to admit the fact, and at