Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1889-10-15
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A JUDICIAL LAyoHsR.
The Founder ora Profession which Prom
ises to Rcvolutionixe Legal Methods.

The Founder ora Profession which Prom
ises to Rcvoiutionize Legal Methods.
Mr.. McGlue. / suppose3" said O
robust looking man, with an ashes Of
roses of nose and big mouth. walk
ing into the Office OF that well-known
merchant the other morning.
you'll have to excuse me just
now said the businessman. swapping
his watch; I've got big case to attend
to in court this morning"
'Exactlyr' said the stranger. IL
noticed 1t on the calendar, so called.
Don't you want TO engage mep"
Are you lawyer?"
'Gr,at Scottl No-I haven't sunk
that low yet I'm legal cachinnator. I"
"a whatP"
"Why. professional Laughter. l
sort o. cap all the jokes OF my clients
lawyer; don't you see? Exasperates
the other side. Grapple with the idea,
don't you?"
Cant say / do. exactly"
"Well. I'll explain. You see there
Is nothing so effective in jury trial
as ridicule, satire and things. Well.
1t is also singular fact that ninety
nine out OF n hundred jurymen never
see the point of joke. no matter how
plain 1t is; but they are always ready
TO chip in and follow up any one who
starts a laugh-just like flock OF
sheep"
'.Are. ehP"
"Yes. sir. Experience has proved
that the large majority Of mankind
need TO be told when to laugh. They
have TO be set in motion, so TO speak.
like row OF bricks"
Eyes; but"
"But what has that TO do with your
case, ehp I'll tell you. You see, sit
In one OF the front benches, where the.
jury can see me easily. and whenever
your counsel cracks u joke and says
something funny, or intended to be
funny, laugh like an end-man OF a
minstrel show. and pound with big
cane. OF course the jury joins in and
the other side becomes perfectly furi-
GUS"
makes EN- mad, eh?n said the mer-
chant
Just breaks 'em all up. And the
madden their lawyer gets, the more
the jury and spectators are impressed
In your favor. Why, in Slseggs VS..
Skinderly. last week, Iactually laughed
The plaintiff clear out OF court"
Ibid. eh?"
Eyes, sir. You see, when the OPP
position counsel try to be funny in re-
urn l scrape my feet on the floor.
cough, drop my stick, and look as
'olemn as darby undertaken /
throw that in. though. without extra |
,harge."
That's kind OF you"
Don't mention It Now. Just retain
ne in your case, and I'll do you more
rood than all the high-priced lawyers
n the country. I'll cost you just
twenty-five dollars; and II you'll make
thirty dollars, Ill also put on
. couple OF boys-apprentices
4 mine. They're not very reliable
ct; but when we work together we're
team-I tell you. One OF 'em is
PARTICULARLY promising; has mouth
lmost as big as darby, and can
reak an ordinary window glass-not
late-glass, you know-at six feet dis
ance. by laughing at 1t. five times out
I six. Nearly shook down the gallery
Thile doing the 'deafening applause
nd uncomfortable merriment' at a
olitlcal meeting at Steinway Hall the
Their night. and"
"I'll-ahem!-rll think OF It Yes,
guess you'd better drop in again
MS. afternoon" said tho merchant,
ioughtfully.
And as Purify, the defendant in Nc
lue VS.. PURIFY. is now trying to effect
compromise. it is fair to suppose the
'ecialist was engaged. = Derrick
odd, in Puck.