Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-10-25
PITH AND POINT.
A glaring fraud-A glass eye.
A pic plant-A pie mandatory.
Net weight=The mossbunker catch.

A pic plant pie mandatory.
Net wcight-Thc mossbunkcr catch.
After young Partlford. the grocer, had
Rugged his girl lie called her strained
honey.
The man who registers at hotel at
night, is soon on the ''rctircd list. -
Ne,o York Mc,cs.
No wonder the spoon looks so hollow
and ong-faced. What in the world is
oftencr in the soup!
Mrs. ADO yon play the organ, Mr..
Smith," Smith-"Ycs, il the handle is
not broken. "-Epoch.
Fashion item from the Columbus (Ohio)
Disputch: Trcasurcrs' accounts arc being
worn very short this season. .
The first man who discovered the
elixir Of life died at the age of twenty
nine Commercial -fdteHiser.
Wisdom does not always come in the
yellow leaf, but you'll generally find it in
the seer leaS Rails RtpuJlican
Visitor at Medical College "Whcrc
did those skeletons come from2" Young
Doctor-"Wc raised them. "-Epoch.
''IIc owes everything he has TO me-"
"That's bad. He owes great more
than he has to me. ''-Harpcr's Bd:or.
The man who invented the cow-cat cher
never got II cent for it. And yet it has
given lots OF men y lift .M:i7 fioyI NcrS.
"Then, my dear sir, sc sill agree to
differ" "No, sir, we wont do any such
thing, because you're wrong. Pick BE
Up.
The rich bug. now with naughty smile,
Will boast what he's of Paris seen;
The poor potato bug, meanwhile,
Will feel that he's of Paris green.
-Netc York Sun.
Wife observation-disclosures broken the
promise yon made me.' Husband kiss
ing her)-"Ncvcr mind, my dear, don't
cry; I'll make you another. "-NNnSey's
Weekly.
Old Lady, hope, my dear, you
never conceal anything from your hus-
band" Young Wifc-''Oh, no; moth
ing but my thoughts. '-NeO Yo'&
Weekly.
At concert in Wikesbarrc, Penn,
while every one was appauding, little
child exclaimed ''Oh, mamma, sec all
the big men pattycaking. = Chic0gc
Herald.
Do you think it is grammatical 10 say,
''EIe summers in the country" Low
tone-"Why not? You can say He falls
in the mud or He springsin the water.
-Chicdgo -1merica.
Il guess I'll take my vacation over
again, if you have 10 objection" said Il
flashy young clerk to his employer. "Not
the slightest, sir. You can make it per
mancnt. "-Htrtto,M Post
Dear" said physicians wife rs they
sat in church, ''tlicrc is Mrs. Goldberg
sitting in II draught." "Nevcr mind"
said her husband, Il will cash that draft
later on. - Washington Capital.
Shall strangers in the Northern lard
Defy the sign OF star and stripe?
Shall England pluck with ruthless hand
Our sealskin sacqucs before they're ripe:
-IVaShington Capital.
eve arc all worms" exclaimed the
preacher in his sermon. Little Bobby,
who was listening attcntivcly, whispered
great big whale swallowed Jonah isn't
/ itT-F0Hland Press.
Miss Cutcly-.sAIay marry Mr.. Rich
ley, mammal" Mrs. Cutely decidedly
-''Not on any account" Miss Cutcly
toying with her mothers hand)-"Not
even on his bank account, mamma?'-
Lacrcnce american.
Mr. Import Ito applicant for position)
-"You say you are able to distinguish
genuine diamond. What are its prin-
cipal fcatures?" Arthur Smart-"A
grand stand, a home plate and whitcwash
lines between the bases. --JerelerS' Weekly.