Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1889-06-19
MR. BOWSER AND HIS SPOUSE.
THE PECULIAR PAIR DISCUSS TOPICS For
CONVERSATION.

TEE PECULIAR PAIR DISCUSS Topics For
| CONVERSATION.
FIom the Detroit Free Press.
had caller the other afternoon when
Mr.. Bowser came home, and after she had
gone he asked:
elbow long was Mrs. Blank here?'
"About half an hour"
| sAnd you talked about fashions, sup
pose?"
''What should we talk about?"
| 'NIrs. Bowser, did it ever occur to you
that there was anything in life beyond
millinery and dress goods and dress.
makers?'
"HowH'
'How! Why, select some subject of
sense-art, science, mineralogy, the labor
question or self-government-and discuss
it with calmness and justice, and learn
something worth remembering for half an
hour. You women folks might as we'll
have been born with pumpkin on your
shoulders in place of head"
| made no reply to this, but determined
to catch Mr.. Bowser in his own trap before
the week was out. Fortune favored me.
1t was only two days before neighbor
called over as he was at work in the back
|
sat down on ladder and discussed the
question whether back gate should open
| inward or outward, and the advantages
offered by either situation. Mr.. Bowser
contended for the gate opening outward
and the neighbor for the opposite, and the
| discussion resulted in Mr.. Bowser getting
red clear back of the cars and jumping up
to exclaim:
"Well, let's drop the subject right here.
There can be cranks on alley gates as well
as on politics and religion"
"And there can be lunatics outside of
the asylums," hotly replied the neighbor.
"Don't call me a lunaticp'
"And don't you call me crank!'
$50 home and hang your old gate to the
moonT'
'T'll hang it according to the rules OF
common sense, and don't you forget it."
When Mr.. Bowser came in to wash his
hands I observed:
"Mr. Bowser, did it ever occur to you
that there was anything in life beyond
hanging back gateP"
He replied with ''humph!' of disgust.
sSelect some snbject Of sense, Mr.. BoEser
art, science, minerelogy, the labor ques-
ton or elf-government-and discuss it
with calmness and judgment and learn
something worth remembering for half an
hour!'
He looked around in desperate, helpless
way, and put on his hat and went off with
out a word in reply. wasn't going to let
him off on that, however, When he came
home that evening l had Mrs. Orfendorf
over to supper, and as soon as we were
seated at the table queried:
"Doesn't it strike you that Germany's
policy on the Samoan question is one of
Cancellation instead of aggression?"
SIT certainly does" she replied, shut
there may be hidden motive behind this
seeming submission. Trace the record Of
the man back as far as you will, and his
policy has been either aggression or strate-
gy."
Mr.. Bowser looked from one to the other
of US in astonishment.
81 notice." said l, as passed the biscuits,
''that the Spanish colonial policy is work
ing toward a radical change. Iucited by
the example of other and stronger nations
it is about to extend its arms and enfold
new possessions.
The stare that Mr.. Bowser favored me
with made my flesh creep.
81 do so hope you can came down to the
next meeting of the Woman's scientific,
political and literary club" said Mrs. Of
endorf, as she toyed with her strawberries.
"Those gatherings are very, very interest
ing. At our last meeting we discussed the
Drift PERIOD and at the one next week we
shall discuss Two proposed amendments to
the Constitution of the United States
"Oh, I'd like to go ever SO much, and l
think I can promise you l will be there.
Can Mr. Bowser come, too?"
"Well, hardly. Men take such little in
terest in such things that they are obstruc-
tions."
And Mr.. Bowser sat there, turning red
and pale by turns, until his chair grew SO
hot that he had to pretend headache and
get excused. anticipated an awful trag-
edy after my visitor took her departure,
but Mr.. Bowser contented himself by say
ing:
.'Now that that shallow patsd, long NOS
ed old nuisance has finally taken her leave,
let's go to bed"
He regained his assurance after couple
of days, however. was talking to our
two-year. baby, and talking as all moth
ers talk, when Mr.. Bowser flung down his
paper and exclaimed:
"Mrs. Bowser, you make me tired talk
ing to that young 'un that wayl No won
der so many children grow up to be sap
headedp'
"How shall TALK"
"Talk sense-the same as you would to
an adult. He's old enough to understand,
and l believe he will appreciate it.''
"Very well; I'll try"
"Thank you. It's more than expected
you'd do"
The trial came that night. We had
scarcely got to bed when baby awoke and
began to whine. He had got cold, and was
feverish.
"Now, Harry" began, ''sung down and
try to go to sleep. It's nothing serious,
and I object to being kept awake"
He howled more Justify.
"My son." continued, "this exhibition
of ingratitude astonishes me, and I insist
that you change your course of conduct at
once or leave my house. Filial respect, if
nothing
| "What in thunder and blazes are you
talking about?" roared MIR. Bowser, as he
sat up in bed.
''I'm talking sense to the baby"
"Not by jugful you amt"
"Then you try it,"
| 'I'll try it by wringing his neck if he
doesn't shut off steami He's bowling out
of spite!"
''Then warn him that you may be COM
PEELED to infict due chastisement, but do it
calmly and dramatically"
| "! ! ! !"
| That's what Mr.. Bowser said as he Jump
ed out Of bed and disappeared into the
spare room, and that was the last saw of
him until morning.
AN HONEST REAsoN.-Drug Clerk
won't sell you the morphine without pre-
scription. I'm afraid to let you have it.