Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-21
CLEAR.

The window glass trust is clearly trans- parent evil.-Boston Transcript
 The original "White Caps"-Adam and Eve when they became gray y-headed.-New
 York Journal.
 The right hand thumb of hotel waiter is most unfortunate. It is frequently in the soup.-New Orleans Picayuns.
 A type-writing operator, having to produce "You could not see the wood because of the trees" wrote "You could not see the mood
 because of the tense."
 A ladies' magazine tells 'fHow to Stain
 Floors" A cheaper way is to take up the
 carpets and give the baby bottle of ink to
 play with.-Norristown Herald.
 Tommy-"Bleth, lend me flyer, won't
 youa You're always saving something"
 Blethen-"Glad to, my boy; but I'm not
 breaking my record to-day" (Goes out).-
 Time.
 sfOh, postman, te noorrow morning have
 something very important to say to nay hus-
 band. Couldn't you just be little slow, so
 as not to deliver his newspapers till noon."-
 Fliegende Blatter.
 Detectives are no good, |" said Tommy, who
 was reading a newspaper. "Why notp asked his father. ''It says here there are number of congressman at large. If the detectives were any good they would run lem in."- Texas Siftings.
 An excited clergyman wrote to a Washing ton editor asking if it was true that there would be dancing at Harrison s inauguration. "Yes," replied the editor, fand you had bet ter engage your partners now. There'll be a rush. ."-Texas Siftings.
 An art mystery-Nrs. DeCulture Gin a Philadelphia art gallery-"Isn't that re- markable Rosa Bonheur'" Mrs. Elite (of Chicago)-"Indeed 1t is, but I don't sec how she managed to find models for genuine flat back Walla Walla hogs in France. ."-.Phila- delphia Record.
 Wife-'Henry, isn't Gus Goebel beer brewera" Rusband-"Yes" Wife-"Isn't it funny beer-maker should be appointed water commissioner" Husband-"No; the appreciates water" Wife-"Henry, you've been there!"-Detroit Journal Uncle Berkshire-"Heow much be that watch:" Jeweler-''Forty dollars" Uncle Berkshire-s'En that smaller one!' Jewele, -"Fifty dollars" Uncle Berkshire-"Er | the smallest onea" Jeweler-sS five | dollars" Uncle Berkshire-'fGosh, mister
 How much is no watohF'-Jewelers' Weekly Mrs Bascom-''John, wish you would 1 ask the doctor to stop in and see me to-day. l My throat is so sore I can hardly talk" MT l Bascom om-''Er-um-my dear, I don't think we ought to go to the expense of doctor fol
 a slight ailment like that. Hyou don't mind l l Will try to furnish the conversation for l few days. ."-Burlington Free Press. 1 MT. Coquelin came up into this office yes. l terday to have friendly visit with us and l for an hour or so we had charming tate-a. l tate. He asked US if we spoke French, and l we said that we did-un peu. Then we ask. l ed him if he spoke English and he answered l that hs did-one little. Though modssty hs. ever been and ever shall be the richest iewe | in the diadem of our qualities we cannot for. bear mentioning that our French is much better than Mir. Coquelin's English. Ws know this because MT. Coquelin's use of the English made us laugh, while, on the other l hand, MT. Coquelin never laughed once when | we spoke to him In French.-Chicsgo Morn. ing News.
 Another Lie Nailed.-Our esteemed con- l temporary down the street charges us with bulldozing the business men of thii l town into advertising with us. We nail the statement as lie. Our methods of securing advertising have always been perfectly legiti. l mate. If a man who fled from Ohio to es. l cape State prison for arson opens grocery 1 store, we drop around for a friendly chat | with him and we let him know that we are posted on him. Then we set forth our cir. culation and influence, give him rates. and Ii | he says he doesn't want to advertise tha l ends it. While we advise all to advertise | we never bulldoze, all can testify. If bull I dozing would secure advertising, the olt | clap trap concern down tho street covered | with mortgages would be quite apt to try it i-Arizona Kicker, in the Detroit Free Press