Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-03-07
SINGLE BLESSEDNESS.


A Contented Old Maid Discusses
the Marriage Question.
A Few Prominent Hints on tho Education
OF Girls Marriage Sad Lottery and,
at tho Best, q State Full of Cares,
Worry and Anxieties.
I have met with very few unmarried
ladies who have not appeared to me to feel,
after the age of thirty, that their existence
was thoroughly comfortless and wretched.
writes an "Old Maid in the New York
Ledger. Many have heard express them
selves thus openly; and that such IS the
fact can very easily be learned by an &C
curate observer of the human countenance.
It is also certain that three out of every five
of the young ladies Of the present day must
remain unmarried, because so many young
men think they can not ccist on less than
two thousand year when married; and
how few men there are with two thousand
year compared with the number of young
ladies IN the countryl There are sometimes
&
ally all tolerably pretty, and most OF them
pleasing and accomplished women-many
possessing talents of no ordinary stamp
yet, perhaps, in our drawing rooms these
lovely and accomplished beings are COM
pletely neglected by the other sex, "be-
cause" q must repeat the sentiments l
have heard from thousands of young men
of fashion, 81 never talk to girls. l dare not
on <n cd hPPqu a
/ am not marrying man; my friend, -,
f1irted with so-and-so, and was accused OF
behaving improperly 1 don't like to ex-
cite false hopes; shall never marry. unless
l can find wife with at least two or three
thousand a year, because am much richer
unmarried with the small fortune have"
1t is of no use to quarrel with the state of
society as it IS at present constituted, for
we can not alter it; but think it might be
beneficial to give few hints on the educa-
tion of women, which might perhaps be
useful in procuring them, in state OF
single blessedness, as it is very falsely
called, greater share Of happiness, or
less load of misery, than they at present ap-
pear to me to possess after the awful age of
thirty.
A girl at thirty is called an old maid She
goes to ball, and generally sits neglected
all the evening, or dance with some gentle
man who has been asked often to dine at
her fathers house, and who, perhaps, re-
marks: ''Miss-is rather pascal good
old girl-and must do my duty there; and
now shall dance with the beautiful Miss
-" Ny heart always bleeds for the
notifications l see endured by these poor
old girls continually. There are certainly
some single women whose talents have made
them as much considered in society as they
ought to be; but, then, have generally OBJ
served that they have fortunes, or have
had advantages above others to bring them
into notice, and to give to the natural ambi-
ton of the human species some scope of
action.
will suppose case in which there are
four girls-a moderate proportion in one
family-and two sons; and / will suppose
their father possesses FIVE thousand a year.
/ will suppose one of the four young ladies
very pretty, one tolerably pretty and the
other two rather plain. They have been ed
ucated, in all probability, as the greater
proportion of American girls are. First of
all they go every Sunday to church, and are
moderately rich. perfectly honorable, up
right and well principled. 1t is only for
their own happiness that l would propose
any change in the education of a class for
whom entertain so high respect.
These four young ladies have all been
brought up with the idea that they will be-
come wives and mothers, and are taught to
cherish these natural affections which, if by
some remote chance one out of the four ever
does marry, will make her so amiable and
lovely as a married woman. They are all
allowed to read modern novels, at least all
such as are considered TO have a moral
tendency Now, / maintain that there is
scarcely of these works which does not
impress any young woman with the idea
that happiness can alone be found in love
and marriage.
The heroine is very amiable and perfect,
surrounded with admirers. all contending
for the honors of her least notice; but where
is the novel which represents four poor,
pretty, unnoticed girls, who are destined
to pass their young years without so much
as one admirer amongst thems Year
after year passes-their bloom and
beauty fade-and my four lovely and
accomplished warm-hearted beings, hav-
ing seen all their youthful castles
fall one by one, become istless and
unhappy. They have little in life to in
terest them; one dies Of complaint of the
spine; another lives many years on arrow
root and calf's-foot jelly, and is enveloped in
flannel even in July; a third is under the
care of DR.. S. for indigestion; and, per-
haps, the fourth, who is made of tougher
materials and born with less feeling than
the others-or, perhaps, from having some
thing to occupy her mind. IN preparing the
arrow-root for one sister and ordering the
hard dumplings prepared by DR.. S. for the
other-outives her sorrows and disappoint-
ments; and, if she takes an interest IN her
brothers. children, or share in their edu-
cation, or in something which gives vent to
those affections which are implanted by
nature in the breast of woman, she becomes
happy.
This, then, appears to me to be the Sc
cret too much neglected in female educa-
ton. Teach the girls, by all means, that
one great source of happiness consists in
the indulgence of vlrtuous affection; but
do not teach them that there is no affection
capable of producing this happiness ex-
cept such as may be felt for lover or hus-
band. If the heart be properly regulated
it may take a warm and sufficiently en-
crossing interest in many objects less inti-
mately connected with it. Marriage is
sad lottery, and, at the best is state fun
of cares and anZieties. Freedom and indie
pendence ought not to DE lightly parted
with, or set down as possessions Of little
value.