Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-02-02
AT THE THEATER DOOR.
The Trouble Forgetful People Cause the
Ticket Taker.

4
AT THE THEATER DOOR.
The Trouble Forgetful People Cause the
| Ticket Taker.
1t was seven minutes past 8 o'clock pm. and
the ticket-taker was working both hands at
high pressure in a desperate endeavor to pre-
vent a jam at the door. The impatient stream
of late corners poured past him into the thea
ter with only just little eddy to mark the in
slant he impeded their course in grabbing
| the tickets and yanking off and returning the
seat coupons. Suddenly the eddy swirled into
a small maelstrom as when torrent collides
with big boulder. The stream curled back
on and into itself, almost submerging the
ticket-taker, and the steady importing
from the outside rapidly flooded the lobby
with men, women and young people, who
| swashed and gurgled about as impatiently as
water suddenly halted in a wild run down hill
The ambidexterous ticket-taker was clawing
the air with both hands in the neighborhood
OF the diaphragm Of worried-looking man in
eyeglasses who headed party Of half dozen
ladies' Beside the eyeglasses and the ladies'
the man also had with him an overcoat
aud hat, pair OF opera glasses, an assortment
of wraps and two or three fans. These were
piled up on his arms and mixed up among his
they are essential ingredients Of theater-
party, but he didn't want them Just then.
What he wanted was his tickets, but he couldn't
find the latter. Hence the maelstrom and
flood of back-water which was rapidly mum
dating the lobby and threatened to submerge
or sweep away the doorkeeper. The worried
looking man in the eyeglasses fustratedly
transferred what impedimenta he had in his
right hand to his left, and searched through all
the pockets located on the right side of his
OLE hos for tba, clra Dat H.
them not, and growing every instant more
worried and impatient in common with the rest
OF the crowd, he transferred all his baggage
back to his right hand and went through the
left-hand pockets. But in vain. Then one of
the ladies placidly suggested that probably he
left the tickets at home in his other clothes
Another evidently the mother-in-law) whis-
pered that maybe he had forgot to buy
tickets. 1t would be Just like William
she smilingy added. A third adjured him to go
through his pockets again, and more carefully,
and a fourth chimed in with suggestion that
probably he had lost the tickets when he took
out his pocketbook to pay the cabmen. Mean
while William had broken out in a profuse
perspiration, and dropped most of his baggage
on the floor, while the ticket-taker showed
symptoms Of impending apoplexy. Finally
the impeachment was swept to one side of the
lobby, and the stream of people who had their
tickets ready flowed on into the theater until
II exhausted itself. BY this time William had
half-opened opera glass case, where he had
placed them as he entered the theater so that
he could put his hand on them without delay
when he got to the ticket-taker. Unfortunately
his memory was bad, and he forgot all about
where the tickets were almost before he placed
them there.
DRESS SUITS AND Observation-Disclosures.
''That thing happens about four times an
evening, on an average" the doorkeeper said,
when William and all his goods and chattels
had passed in and quiet settled down on the
lobby. ''Of course, the larger the crowd the
more times 1T occurs, especially if the crowd is
fashionable one. Your distinguished audi
ences' seem to contain larger percentage of
absent-minded men than ordinary audiences.
1t seems to me, too, that good many men are
more apt to be attacked with absent-minded-
ness when they get in a dress suit than they
are in ordinary clothes. Perhaps it is because
they are so taken up with contemplation of
their own scrumptiousness they lose their grip
on things outside of themselves. / think that
must be the explanation of it. Anyway, if
there is only one man in a dress suit in the
crowd he is usually the one to forget where he
put his tickets and break me all up right in the
middle of the grand rush.
Another thing have noticed" continued
the doorkeeper refectlvely as he toyed with
handful of return checks, sis that great many
of the forgetful men wear glasses. They look
very dignifed and cool-headed but when they
get searching through their pockets for those
internal tickets they go all to pieces and get as
nervous as dog with a crab tied to his tail
have found this to be the case so often that no
matter how cool and self-possessed a man who
wears glasses may appear, always bet ON his
getting shaky if anything goes wrong.
COOL MEN WHO GET RATIFIED.
"But it isn't men who wear glasses alone that
get nervous; 1 have to laugh right out some
times at men whom know to be steady headed
ordinarily, but who lose their grip on them
selves under the responsibility of plotting
lady or two to the theater. They come in here
and make all sorts of bad work in trying to give
me their ticket Hardly night goes by that
some man doesn't get mixed up in trying to
tear the seat coupon on his ticket and give me
the coupon instead of the ticket Often with
me the work Of taking the pasteboardis purely
mechanical and drop the seat coupon into the
box before discovering the mistake. Then
his party have to take seats in the back of the
house until We can find out what seats he
bought"
do you ever have people offer you, absent
mindedly, pieces Of pasteboard or paper in
stead of tickets?" asked the STAR reporter.
''Yes. that is happening all the time, and
sometimes they don't do it absent-mindedly,
either" the doorkeeper said. II have been
caught several times in q rush by people who
worked off old tickets on me. It's impossible
10 look az the Cckets at all, much less to eX-
anime them, when there IL such q rush as we
had for awhile tonight. have been offered
cigarette pictures, business and visiting cards,
railroad tickets, and all sorts Of slips Of PASTE
board about the size Of admission tickets which
people fish out of their pockets, and hand to
me without looking at them. This, of course,
isn't Observation-Disclosures.
QUEER SUBSTITUTES FOR TICKETS.
eff 1 had kept all the queer articles absent
minded people have thrust at me, I would be
able to start curiosity shop in q small way
Pocket-knives, match-safes, button-hooks, key
rings, card-cases, packages of cigarettes and
all sorts of little trinkets such az men are in
the habit Of carrying in their pockets have
been handed out to me in place Of tickets or
return checks. Men who 20 out between the
acts, get talking and laughing in the lobby and
then rush in again in half-automatic sort of
way are most apt to make these mistakes.
Yes, OF course" he continued, laughingly.
after suggestion by the reporter, s.men are
more likely to make these mistakes when thew
have been out several times between the acts
than when they have been out only once. But
most OF the mistakes are the result of purelv
non-alcoholic observation-disclosures"
Why the Chinaman Smiled.
From the Boston Advertiser.
Chinese laundryman, fortified by the usual
bland and childlike expression Of countenance
boarded fremont street night car the other
night and took seat near the end. At Hollis