San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-05-23
MR.. jerks BEAR.

| the Aqua AZul, in western New Mexico.
1--WE" means Hank and I-particularly
| Hank | was simply an accident there; but
| Hank, a fixture. A Harvard man of rest
| less tendencies, he had drifted pretty well
| over the globe since graduation, and had at
last worked himself up to the proud position
| of cowboy OIL the A l. c ranch, place in
which he seemed perfectly at home, as, in
deed. he did everywhere. Hank had changed
| considerably since | saw him in Cambridge.
His face was darker and his eye clearer than
| even in the days when he was stroke of the
senior crew He still retained remnants of
the semi-classic college slang; and around it
| had accreted wonderful conglomeration of
| the breezy idom of the frontier. His speech
was, like Joseph's garment, of many colors,
but not without charm of force, and fire.
| quently of elegance
Riding down through Zuni canyon the day
before from a trip to photograph Inscription
| Rock, had run up against Hank, and my
| hand-albeit not a tender one-was still sore
| from the shaking it had received then and
there We had been together ever since, talk
| ing over old times and new ones, and CONVEX
sational material was running little short
after two days of steady talking.
wonder what Van Bray and some of
those other dudes would say if they saw you
out here, Hankr' remarked, in an interval
; between yawns-which were excusable after
fifty mile ride and the extrication of four
steers from the marsh in which they had
"bogged down"
Faint, reckon" answered Hank. SID
| like to have 'em out here for a while. We'd
| buffalo them as bad as we did a dude here last
fall" And he chuckled little at some obvi-
ously pleasant recollection.
"Well, wake up and tell me about it,
said l.
Hank pulled out a piece of corn husk,
dropped pinch of granulated tobacco upon
it, and directly evolved a cigarette, which he
lighted with a coal.
| About that dude9 Well, it was circus.
I've seen plenty of fun with fool tenderfeet,
but he was the bird Of all The name of the
| young gentleman was jerks. don't know
| that the rarity of his nomenclature had any
thing to do with the rarity Of his mental at
mosphere, but the latter was certainly Pixies
peakian. The newly appointed manager of
an eastern cattle company-why in the name
| of the peStiferous pop do these eastern CAPT
talists always send dudes to manage their
| affairs out herel-he blew in among US one
| day, clothed upon with pigeon wing coat
| trousers of cuticular immediateness, fair
leather shoes, yellow kid gloves, and a SOM
brero so broad brimmed that the youngest
cowpuncher in the outfit would have been
ashamed to be found dead with it on Mr.
| jerks had to keep three or four newspapers
| folded under the sweat band to save the
measly thing from blowing away alone; thus
| relieving us of the fear that we might have
to lend him less picturesque hat, and SUB
shutting the pleasanter anticipation of seeing
that sombrero gently waited down upon one
of our New Mexican zephyrs, with Mr. jerks
dangling airily in its wake. Unfortunately,
| however, those blonde shoes always succeeded
in holding him down.
He was surprised and panied to find no
horse cars running from the railroad to the
ranch; but having covered that forty miles
sitting on a sack of corn in the bottom of q
/ Studeballer wagon, he was glad enough to
| get there alive, and was too thoroughly ex-
hausted to kick at the two roomfulneSs of
our mud hut till next day After that,
| though, his tongue caught the combination
again, and kept working it till it made our
tired heads ache 'Aw, things ah so difwent
in tie east, don't chow llnow-that's the way
he talied-'why, the2h we wouldn't put a
hog in such a misewable hut as this Ono OF
! the Mexican punchers remarked, soto voce,
that we wouldn't either, if we could help it,
We couldn't perceive anything in the way Of
blue bottles perched on that 'dobe house of
ours; but Mr.. jerks seemed to find it fairly
| fly blown. | can't begin to chronicle all his
injurious remarks, for they were more nu-
merOus than pitching bronco, and quite as
gratuitouS. The only good thing he found
among us was our leather twousehs,
as he called our chaparrejos, which
were so beastly womantic, ye mknow
And even these, he thought, 8should
be equipped with seats The bay window Of
blue overall in the rear displeased hisgsthetic
ego; and it was his exuberance of CcriticisIn
on this tender point which finally inspired
the Kid TO insert small memento of buck
horn cactus in the most prominent portion of
Mr. jerks own stern necessities, and a live
rattlesnake in Mr.. jerks high laced shoe, one
fine night-a witticism which caused the vic
J tim, to embark for the railroad next day
But anticipate
'Mr. jerks shared our frijoles and chile
con carne with some internal misgivings and
aiany audible groans. The latter dish he at
first took to be slowed tomatoes, and had en-
quilted holy dose before he discovered it to
be pure red pepper Of the most venomous
disposition. 1t took two hours to convince
: him that it was not masked battery of
Rough or Rats. Starvation finally reconciled
: him, however, to chile, as did fatigue to our
, pine hunks. But nothing could induce him
to a. divorce, or even temporary separation
FROM those yellow kid gloves. He walked in
Them ate in them, slept in them
Come now, Hank" Interrupted, Ego q
little slow on that. | was educated on q