Wichita eagle., 1889-02-06
sEE,IAY GEES TALK.

Tor the players: Roman maids and
matrons didn't wear bustles.
The u. p, the c., B. & O. and the g. A.
railways ought to be brought to Wichita
by the intelligent brain-power of our board
of trade in the year 1889.
To grind your jaws, work your tongue
and face when chewing gum is shame
fully vulgar To hide the disgust, only
chew gum in dark room when no one is
present to hear the rattle and creaking OF
your jaws.
Bob Ingersoll, Bob Elsmere, Bob Cant,
Bob Tom Foolery, are all chaps OF small
caliber and of little consequence. You
will find healthier company with Shake
speare, St. Paul, the Jews bible, the
Nazerie's Talk, Halls Problem of Life, or
a thousand biographies. supplemented
with the best histories of all nations by
the chief historians.
The scientific God intended every person
to be born sound, sane healthy, Intellectual
and pure. The can't God has filled
the world with shame, pretense, deceit,
humbug then raising up the tyranically
greedy to Cypress and fill the world with
woe and sorrow, making the necessity OF
the hospital, the imbecile and insane
asylums, the alms-house, all of which the
true God will in thousand years abolish.
When the West Side connects by electric
rail with Oak Davidson's motor at the
crossing Of Market and Douglas travel
will increase, the colleges and universities
will be benefited, property will advance
and be in demand. The wise need but to
know
The lop-eared simpletons with decreas-
ing protoplasmic molecular forces, causing
their brain cells te dry up, might have
returning stimulating process in some I'M
defined period of their existence If they
could be taught with pollceman's club
to stop their ignorant noise and frantic
calling out three or four times on stretch
every vulgar clog dancer, coarse warbler,
or the so-called Grecian bend jerker who
entertain them at the disgust of every in
telligent theater-goer, until the players
can dress and prepare for the
next act in the scene. Let all such
beings, who never reform, receive
the full benefits of Dante's inferno after
| the severance of their dirt from their eter-
nal mind, of which they are composed.
Nearly every bachelor that bachelors till
growth, and sometimes terrible excres-
sance upon society, often loving other
mems wives, flirting with their daughters,
and throwing sand in sthe eyes OF society
| without stint Such useful bachelors as
St. Paul, Peabody, Girard, John Hopkins,
and their like, are among the exceptions
Married men, as rule, make the only
true citizens. There would be no society
with lovely daughters to love, no govern
| ment for man, no home, no family, moth
| ing for bachelors to wrangle about, except
their own worthlessness, unless somebody
married. Every man that is any account
rich or poor, young or old, should get mar
ried and treat his wife at all times with
courtesy, and as true gentleman!
! A nickel museum is one of the things
that might not jar a discordant vote
against the future prosperity of Wichita
| A shrewd observer of human nature
in Wichita wants to know who will detect
the detectives. AS the great Cato said
that's the question. There are more balo
headed men to the square inch In Wichita
than in any city of equal size in the world
The brains have actually pushed the hail
out of their heads while puzzling them.
selves over the problems of real estate ano
the prospect OF booms.
The man who recently horsewhipped his
wife and who just before dying told him
he would never again have her to horse.
whip and to bear him children, smiled al
her as her last breath silenced her tongue
| forever. He is still at large and will
marry another woman to treat her the
same way. Such villains never reform
and yet persons try to teach us that there
| is no hell.
A castor oil factory and sugar factory
work different results on mankind physi-
cally, but financially both harmonize
Wichita needs a factory of each and the
farmers adjacent to the city are anxious tc
seee them erected
Abolish mules from our street cars, sub
stiUute electricity on every street railway
line in the city; make every possible or III
| telligent effort to increase the wholesale
trade of Wichita; pave a half dozen of the
principal streets and in four years from to
day this city will have 5000 population
This is confidential.