Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-04-28
GOOD MANNERS.
cHILpREN's PARTIES.

Guilty in a number OF disputed points of eti-
quette.
oHILDREN's PARTIES.
i. A lady wishes to give her little daughter
birthday party. How should the invitation
read? 2 Should it be sent by mail?
/ There is no difference in the form of an
Invitation for child's party from that of invi-
tations for parties by adults. Miss Ella Jones
requests the pleasure of Haster Oliver Beach's
company at O'Clock, December 4. Invita-
tions can be sent by mail.
Irecently met on the cars an old friend, and
was introduced by him TO a lady who was with
him. Upon leaving them bade them Good-by,
and shook hands with the gentleman; should
have offered 10 have done so with the lady?
IGNoRAMUs.
No. You could not properly have offered to
shake hands with the lady, the initiative should
have come from her.
HARDLY PROPER.
VIII you kindly state the proper thing to do
in the following case: Suppose young lady
and young gentleman have friends in COM
mon, but are not acquainted. He calls and she
Is not at home. Would it be proper for her to
write him note stating when she will be at
home? neglected to state that they knew Of
each other through their friends.
1t would not be proper fer young lady to
address q note to gentleman under such cir
cumstances. Rules, no doubt, are as often
disregarded as they are observed, but accord
who give laws to the social world, a young lady
can under no circumstances correspond with a
young gentleman unless he is very intimate
with the family and the correspondence is con-
Quoted with the knowledge of the young lady's
mother.
GLOVES AT EVENING RECEPTIONS.
l. Are gloves always worn at evening recep-
tiOns by gentlemen, and If so, what style? 2
To whom should the present be sent, and if to
the nrOSDpcriVp bride in her maiden name or
notP 3. If unable to attend. should regrets be
sent to the brides parents or should just card
be sent, and if so, when? 4 At an informal
dancing party where no programme is lad and
ladies are present without chapeI ones, after a
dance with lady how is a gentleman to leave
her 4? If he remains seated with her others
may think she has the next dance engaged with
him: if he leaves her it would seem he surely
Ebould not leave her alone.
J. Gentlemen do not now wear gloves at
evening receptions, which few years ago was
the universal custom. 2 To the bride and in
her maiden name. As the presents are sent
before the marriage the prospective bride has
no other than her maiden name. g. 1t is not
necessary to send regrets to wedding invita-
fions. Send a card with 'best wishes to the
brde-elect the day before the wedding 4 He
might conduct her to some lady acquaintance
with whom he could leave her.
l. What is the meaning of P. P. c. Cards? .
Is it still the custom to turn down the corners
of visiting cards? Kindly tell me the signif-
cance attached to bending of various corners.
/ P. P. c. are the initials for Pour prendre
congo; meaning to take leave. Q. 1t is not now
the custom to turn down tie corners of visiting
cards
LEAVING CARDS.
We would like an answer to few important
questions: !. Authorizes say: Leave card
for card.'' Now what is the idea of leaving a
card? 2. Why is it necessary to be in your car
riage when your servant delivers your cards to
the servant answering the door? Supposing
r1nrn iE q o nriVpr m CxvpFs
g. In case member of the family for whom
the cards are intended should answer the door
and discover your presence in the carriage,
would she (the member) not have reason to
feel sighted? How is the recipient of the card
TO know, in case she was out, whether they
were intended as a call or card leaving onlyi
4 Do ladies in mourning, desiring TO re-entel
society. leave their cards in person or send
them by post? s. Why is it necessary to leave
cards in person Ito inquire" after friends dur
ing their illness? Supposing relative OF the
patient answered the door, what would become
of the card to inquirer"
MANY LADY FRIENDS.
!. The idea of leaving card is to pay your
respects-card for card, therefore, is a courtesy
in response to a courtesy received. 2 There is
no necessity for lady being in her carriage
when her servant delivers her card; she car
send her cards in her carriage by her maid, ol
she can take maid with her for the purpose
if there is no footman. If there is no footmaI
and no maid and no male companion, then the
lady must herself deliver her cards. 8. No
Salutations are exchanged and you drive of. 4
They may be sent by post. o. 1t is not binding
on any one to send cards "to inquirer 1t il
simply an act of graceful courtesy. 6. If ;
member of the family answers the door then
of course, the inquiries are made in person anG
the card is not delivered
ADDRESSING BUSINESS LETTERS.
L You said in a recent article always use the
prefix Mr.. OF Esq. in addressing gentleman!
letter. find, by inquiry, that it is almost uni
versally omitted by gentlemen in business cor
respondence, and the best engraver in the cit.
told me he never put it on gcntlemen's VISITING
cards. Does not general custom regulate ct
tjouette? 2 I think you will find that the Gus
tom of leaving "cards at a funeral" is neithe
monstrous nor horrible, nor invented by al
practiced by people of culture and re
fnement People give notice Of
death and funeral, both through tn
papers and by private message, inviting
YOUR attendance. Friends come from suburban
towns and often longer distances; business mel
leave their Offices and employments to pay tn
They cannot see the family they have no or
porrunity Of calling again to leave cards or mes
sages Of coincidence. It seems an act of kim
and thoughtful courtesy to let the family knol
that their friends were with them PERSONAL
as well as in sympathy, at the funeral services
Why is it not proper to leave your card at tina
time as well as few days later? and it Is mai
ural that the family should desire to know VIII
paid them the respect and courtesy by accept
inc their message or nOtlce. IL seems an EN-
nently proper and desirable custom.
LoNGwooD.
/. The prefix "NIr." or the affix Esq" Is a
ways employed by correct people in addressin
a letter TO gentleman. We have somewha
extensive acquaintance with business corr
spondence, and in our experience 1t is excel
tionaI TO meet with a letter addressed othe
wise. There are. of course, crude people an
careless people who violate every rule, and ce
tain people, such as Quakers, are opposed o
principle to the use Of titles Of any kind A
to '.Mrr on visiting cards, we have no doubt
majority of American men omit it, especial
IN the West In England ''Mr." is invariabl
used without exception; in the United States
is only partially so. But among people who az
fastidious. who know the correct thing. WI
maintain rigid social laws, 'Mr." is always pr
axed TO the name on visiting card. and vii
these people it is considered vulgar not 70
SO. But perhaps tais custom is more general
adhered to in the Eastern cities than els
where. and there, no doubt, only among Il
higher circles. AS you have consulted loc
card engraver, write now to Tiffany & Cos
New York, for conclusive evidence on n
poipt 2 If the writer thinks the Gu
Torn OF converting funeral into recepac