Daily Republican., 1889-10-08
slouch nu'hcr, let me say--that we think
will make you snatchin' good wife.


WIFE FOR TIE JUDGE.
"'wbatp exclaimed.
THAR, now; thar, thar Keep pu eek
ly cool. What we've did we've did for
yo' good and the good OF the community,
and We have been Appointed 10 take ke. Q
OF the best interests of the neighborhood.
Now, this lady we've picked out viii
make fust rate wife we know she will,
iur she's been tryin' to git married fur a
long time. She's out thar nov. Dick,
tell Mol to come In here
my landlord stepped out into the pas
cage, and moment later, upou re-enter-
lug tho room, was followed by the most
repulsive creature have ever seen. 1t
would be impossible to describe the ugli.
ness Of her face. Her expression of
countenance reminded me of an Irritating
scar; her hair was like an untwisted rome,
and yellow tusk lifted her lip into \
| repellent enarl.
"'Here, Moll, cried the foreman, 'como
an see the man whats goiu' to marry
howp
"'ThInk he's pow'ful Lice. What's
yo' name sides jedgeP
"'lt does not concern you what nv
name IT, l answered, drawing back.
"'Oh, then | reckon the people will
jest halter call me Miz Jedge. Amt you
goin' TO love me jest little p
"She attempted to put her arms about
my neck. Keep away from me- cried,
or shall be compelled TO hurt you. Get
out Of this room. ~
MARRIAGE OR DEATH.
"No." said The foreman, '4t's her uatu-
raj right to be In here. We have picked
her out for you and you must take her.
Thar amt pearter woman no whar than
she 10. let me tell you. She ken ekin a
squirrel like shucSIn' a year OF corn and
barbecue shote in way thspll make
yo' mouth run cPar water like bilin'
spring. Bill Slater, you jest draw up the
dock ment right here, and Bother Steve
Moss, you inc their hands and turn loose
the ceremony. Now look hore, ledge.
don't caper none, and don't try to break
yo' way ouien here fur eff you do you'll
git hurt. Calvin. don't shoot the Jedge
lessen no tries TO git away"
II saw that to use argument would be
useless and that 1t would be danger
Gus TO use force. would resor, to STRAIT
agem.
Gentlemen said I, marriage Is a
serious and sacred institution, and I |
thereby pray that you grant me time to
consider it. This woman may be an ex-
cellent lady, indeed more than all you
| claim for her, but must mediate upon a
step that involves so much; therefore give
INC until tomorrow morning."'
But, said the foreman, suppose you
don't come to the right conclusion
"'In that event. l pleasantly answered,
you would doubtless permit me to resign
my office and return home.'
WAL, reckon not. We have tuck
sich likin' to you that we air determin.
ed that you shall marry an settle down |
among us. oh, we pear sorter curious
In our ways tell folks understand us, but |
when you do git to know us, why we arr |
as clar as dew drap. Gentlemen, shall |
we give him till 10 -morrow mornin'l'
1T was, after much wraugling, agreed |
that l should be given until the following |
morning. My company retired and left |
me to muse alone. A whip. poor-will |
sang doletul Ioug, chilly tree toad |
croaked with dreariness. / sat, deeply |
troubled. a midnight rooster crew. |
The house was silent. raised the win |
dow and looked out. Nothing but an
endlessness of hight My mind was
made up. stepped out, crept to the
stable, mounted my horse ard rode away.
An Aw full vision came up before me and |
shuddered. 1t was that horrible woman q
face. lost the road and Travelled all |
night In the woods.
FRIGHTENING A JUDGE.
when Daylight came stopped at
house, having decided that It was better
70 lie low during the day and TO resume |
my journey at Dight. When the whip
poor-wills had Joined one another in their
solemn evening chant, 1 stole out and
rode away. knew that the Rock Rib
Circuit 'authorities' were searching for
me, and every unwonted STIR In the
bushes made my blood start with q chill
lug beat. Day was well advanced when
l came to road house, and, having
thought It best to stay there until night,
i engaged room. As lay ir the bed
heard two mt talking In an adjoining
apartment. This is what they said:
cuitl'
"'Yes.' ..
Mighty out of the place, amt it?'
'Sorter, but we have our fun?'
that's the place where you git rid OF
judges, amt itl
"'Yes.'
"'one went up the other day, under
stood. Is he there YETI
"No, he's gone, but va had fun with
him. A poesul OF us pretended that we
wanted him TO marry aud settle down
among US, and wo put women's clo,hes
on old Kit Mayhem. He's the worst
human In the world; got in a
fight with q panther once, and got so
chawed up that his face all the time
looks like it's just been scalIed. The
sight of him made the judge tired, and
about 10 o'clock that night, while we
was behind the tree Watching, he
sneaked away"
~ got out" the judge continued,
land rode of. and the thought OF going
back occurred to me, but even though It
was all joke l never want to see old
Kits face again."
0PIE p READ.
R-a-Rs--- l
Dyspeps aand Liver Complaint.