The evening world., 1889-11-29
KELCEY'S MUSTACHE.
Alan DaleS Advice 10 q Matinee Girl
Who LamentS Its Absence.
Herbert 10 Striving for HistrlonlC
LaureIs. Not for Beauty.
I" Birdie - IL Requested to Regard Him
as an Artist, Not an Adonis.

Among my mail yesterday morning, l found q
pretty little pcrfumed letter in an angularlv in
t%erestinR handwriting. l have no doubt at all
bnt that more missives OF a like nature will fall
to my lot. Perhaps. however, II l answer that
to which l have referred, l may stay the inn
pending flood. At any rate l feel that the pub
LEGATION Of the following is no breach Of con-
idence.
DEAR SIR.
/ am only q matinee girl, frivolous and inconse-
PPRT .s \ 40 Sos doubt / hsT shI %0T Il 4 tr TsS ss ! r TsHlly '4 : an
At presen1 recovering from . severe shock that re:
T fs1CsS THTffs sstzEs night tS see "n "HhG o SSsn;s & 8.! tns
on On, 4; Is,oi Tor ys.HFS IN hIHSvS !, i0o ssSd! aRSn I IS5
! % ~. 's III *, i "a %ii Now H $,I ~ s5I 1sSS% ~ Z, & SS}isS;
g ssr NJ @ lasssSly1 ~ GrlE va Kelley. F sane! inl Rgd an so x;
SSsat:,, has g, Oh ss.s %%gssssts; He u $SSSnsiE::
e efGRR SGsSlrs SdH% CS yn.t i sss 4 si iR'' som la%isi F oas iR' 70 ss e
done. Il Is monst.ous. inhuman. Of those lrudish1
Pi Say cdF 9.k K s5sS' ' 9Sh.i 4 'sG m1 y,t sTST q ~ you i iissi
sh %Hn sin ssf y sisn my SSy nsRs' he SqR SGSaf a as me- l
BIRDIE.
Poor Birdiel You are not the first. nor will
you be the last, to set up for yourself a presum-
ably fawless idol. to find upon investigation
that Il Ia clay. The misunderstanding process is
one Of the most painful that we are called upon
to endure. But, in some form or other, it
poor Birdie. I am afraid i Is soonsr-thatis i.
" III .Dtbl IOu hIt -bIIOIk, huu yOu Cd
breaks beneath this cruel experience, 49,.
understand You correctly, and you find that the
absence of his gallant mustache robs him of oil
his good looks, believe you. 1 do not laugh:
smiielessly: II Is only the, stupidity superfeSiai
who. would dare. to ridicule the, matinee girl.
independence With her little bonbonniere, her
opera glasses and her nattv afternoon rig she is
susceptible little heart. ! say. / make this bless
ing in general, but l cannot refrain from
adding one in particular for you. Birdie; all for
And now I am going to talk sensibly to you,
for in your letter l zee that you really do think
trite severe upon Kelley? Reflect Q little. Here
we have an actor, who ls in reality extremely
dramatic wqTk-tRe kind Of work that, contrib;
be accepted. Try and follow me. Birdie.
Instead n%oT OF R ReInE rec So .Sn bssd as SS an artist how %"Yc
fbS Beauty, poor q po MftSSy hat hns no Ssf man aS OF iStsI i @S5e
matter how labcriPutly he has ,striven to show
that he can act. 1t has been his mustache, his
face and his figure that have been most promi-
nentliy noticed. To begin with; Of conrfe, this
now %availing himself. And, Birdie, / don't
never have had that chance had, he been ILL
favored or, as you call 7, homely. He owed
Tie b debt was iiauidatedd long Before h he Sought sought
While / am quite convinced that Kelley adores
the matinee girl, it ia very evident that he is
rest.AA lie wishes to teSt his dTremq5fitc'" power
tolerate Tim, iir"The Charity Ball" But the
general pubIic-now about thatP He is making
sake Of old times, ought not to be an obstacle in
his way.
away MS' her Worth sowns, put aside her i"G ms ssGtfH
cent dresaPs and appeared i'll the u~nloyely attire
% SSsatGi' have S Ss"fiH IN it. Her Hi Lady sne Ma pabSiG
was a financial, failure, admirable and conyinc-
dressed %ioIil::, We are crying for It. Give t US,
isn't half as profitable as America,
don't think it will be. After all, my dear girl,
iH csm9t b E rs t htGG 1HS y TPS' We're over wro SiRii iH se a, !
mp for an AdoniEian idol a man who, non-mus-
taohed, il tiabbily ugly and unprepossessinGly
lucid hirSutcnersg / am afraid tia. You and
your sisters are lamentNlly thort.sighted.
artist, or at leSst, 70 try and do so. Remember
that art wots nothing of mustache. and try-do,
annoying this man, Birdie. Be noble and self
sacrificing. and the next time you want = hero
NOT sSH damage se'f Il S SoS W canno a'' ma Elm S comfort fort
yourself with the reflection that mere
physical t S11@ty !" mask a thing BIN tho OF 0ri TnSer;
skull that we, each Of us. own-you, too, Birdie.
1t IL n very comforting reflection. Some OF the
most hideous people on the face of the earth
have fonnd balm in it. In fact, it III u very
popular maxim among those TO whom nature
ha, been unkind.
Have | done you any good, my dear girl? l
hope 80. An ] said before, the disillusioniziug
process in horrible. lou have my sympathy,
Birdie; and though l know you can't buy even q
bun with that. venture to offer it for what il is
worth. ALAN DALE.