Connecticut western news., 1889-12-25
A@s4s. e ssrs asll
 FUN
A favorite winter rcsort-hot

 Scotch.
 Perseverance overcomes all things; but the most persevering liver cannot overcome time.
 And now it is type trust. But you can't trust in types implicitly. Types he dreadfully sometimes.
 Madame Dudevant's French publish CT made great deal of money on her
 ''I'm no kicker," is the worst possi- ble recommendation fer young man who wants to join football club.
 Go where duty calls, but turn in and help when you get there. Don't stand around with your hands in your pockets. ...
 A sailor, home from long cruise, couldn't sleep ill the house for some time. He said it made him feel more at home to clay out on the yard"
 Although revolution in Brazil has affected the rubber market somewhat, a rubber of whist in the Harlem club
 
 Venezuelans have been destroying statues of their ex-dictator, Guzman Blanco. If they are such poor works of art as the statues in Washington, don't blame them.
 "Been writing?"
 "Yes." ...
 "Who top
 "Oh, dear! Why don't you speak grammatically? The idea--3Who to' You should say sTo whom to-"
 Miss Griggs- Your friend, Miss Hightone, is very musical, hear.
 Mir. Perkins-Yes. She lives in quite musical atmosphere.
 .SSo should judge. I've noticed over their front door that she lives in 6 'B Flat.
 Inquiring lad-Father, what is a Horn of Plenty7
 Prohibition Father-A cornucopia, my boy. ......
 I. L.-And what's Horn of Pow erty? P. F.-It's horn of whiskey. Mrs. Newmonie (effusively) )-This lovely chair is very ancient, of course; brought over by some of your charm ing posterity?
 Mrs. Oldenayme (coldly) = No, madam; that was just brought home from the manufactory-made by your brother, believe. "What are the Knights of the Bat, MT. Dolly?" asked Amy of her caller. sI saw that term in the paper this morning."
 Saturday night, usually" replied Dolly, absent-mindedly; s'or-I mean that is to say, the Knights of the Bat are baseball players, Miss Amy" A Cooler.-Mowhray- some thing very important to say 10 you, after the girls leave the room." Jessie -"Oh, talk it right out, do. Pve promised every one of them to tell them just what you said when you pro- posed. and they might as well get it l tirst-hand. Judge. In Russia women are not allowed to practice medicine before reaching the 1 age of 40 years. In free America, every woman feels herself fully quali- fled to practice medicine so soon as 1 she owns baby or can borrow one of her neighbor to experiment on.-Terre Hautc Express. .Patient-IIow is it, doctor, that the {; medical fraternity seldom contract contagious diseases even during an ! epidemic?
 Physician-Oh, they frighten the diseases away.
 "Frighten them away? How? ] "By presenting their bills to them" 1 Not to be imposed upon. Gustav 'sl shall not bay dot toctor's pill, dat's /! flat.'
 Fraulein Gage II, educated in the public schools )-"The doctors pill is usually round, father."
 Gustav-.:Ya, he gums round init it efery day, but I don't pay dot pill, ain't it2"
 Bcrtic-And do all angels have wings, Uncle Charles? Uncle Charlcs-Yes, Bcrtie.
 "Big angles and little angels alike?"
 s'I told you yes, Bertie."
 "Say, Uncle Charles, if you were me wouldn't you go into the wing business as soon as you got old enough?"
 Servant-A newspaper man to inter- view you, sir.
 Candidate-Tell him I'm hoarse, I can't talk.
 Servant-I told him that; but he said he'd ask the questions and you could nod, yes or no.
 Candidate-Tcll him I have stiff neck and cant nod.
 Rounder-Yes! That young man with the eyeglasses is the editor of the Daily Bugle.
 Jollyboy-That must be the fellow that writes those spicy society articles.
 Rounder (doubtfuily)-Perhaps so but he doesn't look like it.
 Jollyboy-Mayb he doesn't, but just smelt his breath.
 Mrs. Newrich-No wonder them Bostones don't live very happy; they can't even stay to home.
 Mir. Newrich-Why, what in thun- der dye mean, Miranda? Mrs. Newrich-Here's card she left here telling us she would be to home Thursdays. l guess we don't have to advertise when folks catch us in the