davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
FAScrEs OF FUNNY MEN.

First Ragman-How is business?
Second Ragman oh, picking up.-Eeso YORK
Sun.
II takes q smart man to tell good lie;
but nearly all men grow smarter the longer they
are married. d.-SomerufiEe Journal.
Marriages are made in heaven" quoth
Miss Antique. ssThen there Is some chance for
you yet y was the cruel reply Of her younger sis
ter.-Harpsr's Bdsdr
Thompson (proudly) )-Robinson, you see
that gum My wife killed bear with that once.
Robinson-Ah. indeedi What vas she shooting
at9-Mumseys Weekly.
He my greatest fault is that lam apt 10
speak without thinking.
she-well. 1 suppose It can't be well avoided
unless you quit tslking.-TsTTs HoHts Express.
I've changed my mind, old fellow,
And the maiden III ne'er wed;
Iasked her for her hand. last evening,
And got it-sids Of the head.
-Ksarnsy Entsrprfss.
Sweet Girl-what under the sun are you
going to marry him for?
The Other Sweet GIri-He looks so much like
poor Rido when he was alive.-Tsrrs Hdute BIZ
press.
Mormon Boy (whose Father has many
wfves)-You lift me on the nose again and III tell
my ma.
GENTLE Boy-wh:ch one Of your mas are you
goin' to tell.-Terds SVtings.
A Fortunate Man. jfYes." said the
stranger. 81 have made over g. 900 this year By
parachute descents.''
'sYou are balloonIst ehg',
''No, l am an undertaken. ''-Ess1 York Sun.
He'll Get There Some Day.-Stranger-
Boy. win you direct me to the nearest banks
Street Gamin-win f. Is cents.
Stranger-Twenty-hye centsi Isn'tthat nighs
Gamin-Bank directors always gets Dig Pay'
mister.-EsD York Sun.
Younglove-I don't care for fashionaole
women myself and, my dear. viii always oe
quite content II you never wear anything n0fo
expensive than a calico gown about the mouse
Mrs. YoungioTe-I am Surprised at you, oeols.-
thought you objected so strongly TO "omeh aF
pearing in print.-America.
Scribbler-When is that review OF my
novel coming out, scatherY Seather tproiessional
crtic)-Well, TO tell the truth, have no. reaa IL
yet. scrfbbler-Yet when brought the boo 70
you you assured me that you would loss no time In
reading 1t. scather-so did. Wen, 1havelos>
no time In reading it yet -AWerica'
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
Fine Architecture in Pittsburg-Life IL Ger
tain. Love Is Not-Left Leggedness.


tain. Love is Not-Left Leegedness.
BEYOND all question the new building
erected on Fifth avenue by DR.. Hussey, in
which the Chronicle Telegraph will soon be
completely housed is an ornament to the city.
II is really unfortunate that its situation does
not allow all the structures beauties to be
seen. But from the upper windows of any of
the tall buildings in the lower part of the city
the graceful outlines of the turret and stone
battlement with which the Hussey building is
crowned may be seen to advantage. The
street front of the building, the wide arch of
the first floor especially, is essentially novel in
design, and better still, is simple and yet highly
ornate. The architect, Mr.. Frederick Oester-
ling, although very young man. has done we'll
before in Pittsburg, of which he is native.
but his last work must be regarded as his best.
If the stumpy architectural horrors of elder
Pittsburg are to be replaced by such handsome
structures as Mr.. Oesterling's example, Fifth
avenue-after the removal of the unsightly
hump-will be worthy of the city whose most
important street it is.
THE religious editor was trying to persuade
fair member of city church congregation to
reveal to him the inside facts of very pretty
church suuabble, and finally he resorted to a
mild form of bribery.
'sIf you will tell me-" said he, 1.-THE names Of
the principal parties who are to be disciplined
1 will see that my paper gives you splendid
send-off when you get married. 1t shall be the
prettiest-our wedding reporter has secured a
patent on the word pretty as applied to we'd
dings-the most fashionable and the best at
tended wedding of the season."
"No, sir" the modest maiden replied, II
never gamble. Promise me an extra supertine
wire-wove obituary and 1 might consider your
offer but there are too many risks about q we'd
ding"
In a paper on "Left-Leggedness," read be-
fore the British Association, DR.. Sibey speaks
of a. man as having been supposed to be a
right-handed animal Being right-handed. it is
popularity assumed that he is also right-legged;
but this does not appear to be the case. Stand
ing working with the right hand, there is a
tendency to use the left leg for balance. Many
people find less exertion in going round circles
to the right than in circles to the left paths
are nearly all made for runnings in circle to
the right. So the majority of movements are
more readily performed to the right, as dane
ing, running, etc. The rule in walking is to
keep to the right, and this appears to be al
most universal. Crowds tend to bear to the
right. The left leg being the stronger it is
more readily brought into action; hence troops
start off with the left foot; it is the foot which
is placed in the stirrup of the saddle or step of
the bicycle in mounting; SO the left is the foot
which man takes off from in jumping. Man,
being naturally or artifcially right-handed and
left-legged, tends unconsciously to bear to the
right, lower animals on the other hand, appear
always to circle to the left.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
CONTRACT TO KILL RATS.
A Washington Man Will Attempt to Rid the
White House of Rodents.

WASHINGTON, October A-Having gotten
rid of the red ants which infested the White
House, the President is trying to drive the rats
away. Major Ernst, the new Superintendent
of Public Buildings apd grounds. has made a
contract with w. II. Hosmer, of this city, to
clean out the entire building of rats The
contract allows Mr.. Hosmer $40 day, with
time unlimited. Ferrets and dogs are to be
used in the work of determination, and the
work is to proceed until ir is completed, if it
takes all winter, the Government TO pay for all
the losses of ferrets.
Mrs Harrison has requested the contractor
to begin work at once in her room, as there was
one impudent rodent who nightly invaded the
room, greatly to her annoyance. The work will
begin early on Monday. The ferrets used will
be brought from New York.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
RELICS OF PIONEER TIMES.
Some Genuine Curiositles Exhibited at an
Old Settlers Meeting.

FLEM1NesBURG, KY, October A.-The re-
union lust closed of the old settlers of Fleming.
Lewis and Mason counties, held at Ruggle's
camp grounds, drew together 800 or 400 OF the
Oldest people of the three counties. An i'm
nortant feature of the reunion was collection
of old relics handed down from generations.
One attracting a great deal OF attention was
wedding dress of white dimiJy, exhibited by
his Gertrude Owens. worn by an ancestress 10
years ago, the fashion Of which would astonlsh
the modern bride.
Another curiosity was a genuine pod-auger,
nre Of the entertainment' was the music, fur
nished by Colonel Tom Brown on Scotch bag
pipe brought here in l779, the instrument being
over 200 years old. About 1000 persons were
in attendance.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
MARVELS OF MEMORY.
Some Great Men Whose Retentiveness of
Facts Was Remarkable.

Some Great Men Whose Retentiveness of
Facts Was Remarkable.
From Blackwood's Magazine.1
There have been stupendous memories
enough in ancient and modern times to stagger
belief-such as those of Theodectes and Hor-
tensius and Cineas, of whom Cicero speaks,
and in our later days. Pascal, who, it is said,
never forgot anything he had seen, heard or
thought; and Avicenna, who repeated by rote
the entire Koran when he was 10 years old; and
Francis Suarez, who Strada tells US. had the
whole of St. Augustine in his memory-enough,
one would think, to destroy all his mental
power of digestion; and Justus Lpsius, who
on one occasion offered to repeat all the
History of Tacitus without a mistake on
forfeit Of his life; and, in our own days,
Jedediah Buxton and Zerah Colburn among
others, who had such prodigious power and
rapidity of calculating in their minds. Col
burn, it is said, could tell the number of Sec
onds in IS years almost before the question
could be repeated. The story is told that Jede-
diah Buxton was once taken to the theater to
see Garrick. and that he was observed to pay
an unremitted attention to the great actor
throughout the play. When he went out, his
friend, who accompanied him, asked him how
he had been impressed by the acting, and Jede-
diah answered by stating the number Of words
and syllables that Garrlck had spoken. His
mind had been interested solely in this enumer-
alton. dare say it was purely mechanical
operation of mind with him, and rather think
that with all these great memories 1t is the
same.
AS have not good memory, wish to decry
it. out of pure envy. l wish l could say that
great men never have great memories. Unfor-
tunateiy, it is not true. The names of Pascal,
Avicenna, Scaliger, who committed 20 memory
the whole of the Iliad and Odyssey in three
weeks; old DR.. Thomas Fuller, whose memory
was equally remarkable-to say nothing of
Cyrus Hortenslus, Mithridates-are so terribly
against me that give up such a proposition;
and have serious thoughts myself, despite its
disgusting ingredients. of resorting to the
learned Grataroli of Bergamo's recipe for I'M
proving my own memory. He gives several,
but one above all others as effiCacious and CON-
forting to the memory. 1t is this: To make
mixture of mole's fat calcined human hair,
cumin and bears grease, and swallow a pill of
them of about the size of a hazelnut at bedtime.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
THE NEW YORK EXHIBITION.
Riot Interrupts the Peaceful Progress o
Police Blnckmnil.
NEW YORK BUREAU SPECIALS


NEW YORK BUREAU SPECIALIST
NEW YORK, October IA There was an
Italian riot in Mulberry street late last night.
A quart Of beer caused the trouble. The riot
occurred in the dimly lighted hallway OF .
notoriously riotous tenement house known as
THE Barracks" Mrs. Teresa Delafaro was
bringing quart Of beer for her husband and
eight or ten Of his friends who were gathered
in his room. There is Sunday law against the
sale of liquor, but it Is used only to enable the
police, from captain to patrolman, to levy
blackmail on such saloon keepers as desire to
keep open. This is the simple, unexaggerated
truth. Mrs. Delafaro had no trouble getting
the beer. As she entered the hallway Of sThe
Barracks" a strange Italian snatched sthe pail
from her hand, drank the beer while she
screamed for help. Help came Immediately in
the shape of Delafaro and his friends. Delafaro
smashed tho pail in the strangers face and
drew knife. The stranger also drew knife
and the duel began. The men fought up and
down the hallway, out into the gutter and half
a block up the street. Blood flowed in streams
from their wounds In the neck, breast and face.
The strangers friends came to his aid and tried
to do up Delafaro's friends. When policeman
came, a dozen Italians were cut and battered
and covered with blood. All the rioters escaped
arrest except Delafaro, who was arraigned to-
day for assault with intent to kill. As no one
appeared to press the charge he was let OF with
fine for disorderly conduct.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
Misses Learn Of Europe.

The baseball club, the boating club. the
equestrian club and the pedestrian club have,
with the falling of the leaves and the advent of
cooler weather, given place to class Of clubs
that aim at something more than mere pkysi-
cal development and endurance. With the re-
v1val of the Woman's Club, the Dramatic Club,
the Cup and Saucer Club, the Tourists Club,
the Magazine Club, is also noted the organza-
ton of a new and ambitious club composed of
about so young ladies, who, with Miss Killikelly
as instructor, meet in the Library parlors every
Monday morning to study and discuss the cit
les and countries of the Old World. Yes
terday very interesting meeting was con-
ducive to an extended knowledge Of the city of
Florence.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
WANAMAEER SPARED A SHOCK.
A Congressman Who Actually Contemplated
Asking Him Out to Drink.

Congressman Who Actually Contemplated
Asking Him Out to Drink.
From the New York Tribunel
Strange as it may seem, despite all that has
been published about him in the last five
months, the Postmaster Generals habits of
temperance in speech and action as well as in
other respects lave not become known to all
the men in public life or even to all of the
members of his own party. A few days ago
two Congressman making the tour of the De-
partments stopped at one of the bureaus of the
Postofice Department, and after transacting
the business for which they had come said to
the head of the bureau:
Have you time to come out and get a
drink?'
The bureau chief did not have time. for il
was an unusually busy day with him.
well" !" said one of the Congressman, ST am
going upstairs to see the Postmaster General
wonder If he can spare the time to 60 across
the street?n
The bureau chief grew pale.
u would advise you, " he said, 'if you have
anything to ask OF the Postmaster General not
to ask him to drink"
And as the Representatives were satisfied to
follow this advice unquestioningly, Mr.. Wana-
makers nerves were spared great shock.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
REFORMING EVENING PARTIES.

Bishop Huntington, of the Episcopal
Church, is not satisfied with the evening
party" as we are accustomed to find it in
American society. He thinks it is sham,
q superficial affair, in which the partici-
pants are bored exceedingly as rule, or
are simply exhibitors OF fine raiment and
shallow brains. Almost all the world will
secretly agree with the good Bishop; there
are very few indeed who really enjoy this
awful social function. And yet Bishop
Huutington's proposition to transform the
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

THE production of ''She" at Harris Theater
yesterday was notable on account of its splen-
did mounting and its great spectacular features
The She of Miss Marie Rene is very fine.
Crowded houses testified their delight with it.
THE novelty of complete circus at the
Worlds Museum yesterday drew large
audiences. A further notice Of this departure
shall be given on Tuesday.
HYDE's Big Specially show repeated its pre-
vious success at the Academy last night.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

THE old suggestion that safety against
railroad collisions could be secured by tying
a railroad director to the cow-catcher Of
every locomotive, might be adapted to the
electric light danger. Would we not be
likely to get perfect insulation if every cleo
trio light director should be required to test
the wires daily by handling them without
gloves?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

THE Czar having made up with Emperor
William, he then held consu ltation with
Bismarck to see if he could keep out of a
fight with Germany. 1t is intimated that
the Iron Chancellor was favorable, and the
Russian monarch left Berlin with the assur-
ance that white-winged peace will hover
over Europe until one of the powers builds
more war ships or military railways.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

Mr.. JAY GoULD's declaration that ''the
Worlds Fair will be held in St. Louis if it
is located where it ought to be-" shows the
disposition of the amiable Mr.. Gould to
boom his own property. Inasmuch as he
owns st. Louis, it is natural that he should
be desirous OF accepting all possible methods
to increase the revenue thereof.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

IT further appears that the directors of
the Comptoire d'Escompte in France are
sentenced to remain in prison until the de-
felt in the accounts of that institution is
made up. As this practically means i'm
prisonment for life, it appears rather severe.
1t is further noticeable that if the same law
were applied to this country it would require
either a marked contraction of the loans
made by financial institutions to trust man.
ipulators or permanent enlargement in the
penitentiaries of the land.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

In view Of Mrs. Potter's passionate pro-
duction of proof that her health will not per-
NIT her to play in the United States this
season, it is permissible to remark that all
this earnestness is unnecessary. The theater
goers of the country are not calling for her
appearance with so much urgency that sworn
testimony is necessary to reconcile them to
her absence.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

The cancellation of Senator Manderson's
increased pension as unlawful appears TO be
a decided reversal Of the late practices of
the Pension Office, which affords a pre-.
cedent for getting back the funds from
good many others who were more an1-
ious for the money than Senator Manderson
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
A SOLID MARRIED COUPLE.
Tho Husband Weighs 40 Pounds and the
Wife Tips the Beam Mt 315,

Wife Tips the Beam Mt 3l0.
BUsKIRKs, N. Y, October A-Mr. and Mrs.
Addison G. Hayner, living here, are substan-
tial, solid married couple. Mr.. Hayner weighs
4l0 pounds and his wife pulls down the scales
at BIS, making conjugal total of 725 pounds,
and it is all solid flesh. Both are in good health,
and cheerfully do the ordinary work of farm.
When Mr.. and Mrs. Hayner walk arm in arm
they take up the whole sidewalk, and when
they sit together in the Methodist Church there
is not much room in the pew for anyone else
They have two children, one beautiful young
lady of 10, TALL and of graceful and delicate
build, the other short, stout girl Of IL years,
who weighs plump 100 pounds
Mrs. Hayner's mother, formerly Mrs. Amelia
Warner, of Canaan, Conn.,, was a small, spare
woman, who never weighed over lis, and her
father Mr.. Franklin Waters. both physically
and politically, is a man of the Andrew Jackson
type. When Mr.. Hayner returned from service
in the late war he was man of ordinary build,
aud when he married Miss Waters she was a
young lady of graceful figure. They have been
gradually growing stout together until they
have both become eligible to membership in
the Fat Mems Club.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

The opening of new coal and coke lands
in West Virginia, which will be nearer
Chicago than the fields tributary to Pitts
burg, so far as the Baltimore and Ohio line
is concerned, does not trouble car shippers
half so much as the problem how they can
induce the railroads to furnish cars enough
to transport their business.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
HER FIFTY-THIRD BIRTHDAY.
A Merry Gathering ut the Residence of
Mrs. John DIVISION.

A large and merry crowd Of railroad people
gathered at the residence of Mr.. John g.
Owston, one of the oldest and best
known engineers of the Pittsburg, Fort
Wayne and Chicago Railroad, at No.
2S6 Franklin street, Allegheny, last evening.
The cause of the meeting was to celebrate the
ifty-third anniversary of Mrs DIVISIONS birth,
and wish her and her husband many happy re-
turns An elegant banquet was served by the
hostess, who has gained record
for her hospitality Among those
present. were: Rev. Hudson, pastor of tho
Mrs. William Jordan, Mr.. and Mrs. A. Martin,
Mr.. and Mrs. John Weber, Mr.. and Mrs.
Charles Wolf, Mr.. and Mrs. Andrew Shook,
Mr. and Mrs. B. Callaghan, Mr.. and Mrs. John
dale Mrs. Henry Grabbing, Mrs. Orrison Harris
and Teeters, of Alliance o., Mrs. Frank John
ston, Mrs. Baker, Mrs. O'Donnell, Mrs. Nc
Knight and Miss Sippey
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
A PASTORS SURPRISE.
Rev. Mr.. Riddle Presented With Silver BY
His Congregation.

His Congregation.
EVERY cloud has silver lining'' and last
evening it was cloud of crystal with a silver
lining, which was presented to Rev. W. Riddle
and wife of the Nineteenth Street Baptist
Church by the members of the church and
congregation. The present was in honor of the
18th wedding anniversary of the pastor and his
wife, and the occasion was also celebrated by a
reception held in the church, which was beau
tifully decorated with cut flowers, plants and
ferns.
Mr. ]. h. Shelton made the presentation
speech, and voiced the entire gathering in
wishing Mr.. and Mrs. Riddle many happy re-
turns of the day. Mr.. Riddle responded with
surprise, delight and gratitude all depicted
upon his face. Music added much to the pleas
ure of the evening, and other addresses were
made by Rev. II. B. Grose, of the Fourth Ave-
nue. Church, and Rev. George Street, of the
Nit. Washington Church. Refreshments were
served in the lecture room of the church by the
ladies' and in every word and action was
plainly perceptible the unity existing between
pastor and people,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
A Political Prophecy.

From the New York World.i
In quiet, clever way Senator Quay, of Penn
sylvania, is placing his Presidential boom on
strong foundation. Quay and Foraker is
combination which will have considerable
strength at the Republican National Conven-
ton of 1892
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

Portable one. He ought to revere the land
which gives him refuge, and have nothing
but the warmest feelings of regard for the
flag. As he and the scurvy fellows who
cheered HIM, have not the grace nor the
sense to appreciate our institutions the
police should instruct them in the schools
of court and Jail.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

The statement that the real estate boom at
Pierre, S. D., has progressed to such an ex-
tent that they are selling off lots by moon
light might suggest to some of the boomers
that large share of the boom is simply
moonshine
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
An Involuntary Suicide.

Louis Camper. 25 years of age. became 50 Ill
ten days ago that he could not 60 to his little
notion shop. Consequently his income ceased
and he grew very despondent. Early this morn
ing he cut an artery in his arm. While bleeding
TO death he tried to leave his bed and fell
across the top Of hot stove. He was too weak
to rise. His clothing took fire and ne gradually
burned to death. Smoke issued from the
windows OF his apartments and someone, think
ing the house was on fire, sent out an alarm.
When the firemen arrived on the scene they
found poor Campers charred remains.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

Christine Nilsson, the singer, obtained YER
dict of sl75 and costs in part third of the City
Court to-day against the Bogota City Railway
Company. The verdict was secured by default
Mime. Nilsson is in Paris, and the suit was
brought through Goodrich, Dealy & Goodrich,
her counsel. Mr.. Goodrich said to-day that he
knew very little about it. Mme Nilsson owns,
it appears, five bonds Of the railway, the par
value Of which is 5000. There was default
in the payment of the coupons in May, 1889.
Each coupon was worth sS5, and she sued for
their value.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15
Agricultural Plnginrlsi.

From the Baltimore American
Charges of plagiarism still continue. 1t is
now limited that successful and hitherto unsus-
pected farmers crib the stores Of their corn
magazines from natures cereals.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

Do THE electric power wires of Pittsburg
furnish an additional possibility in the way
of illustrating the probabilities of electrical
executions upon unsuspecting and law abid-
ing citizens?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-15

The report that Canada's Senate is to be
deprived of its function as a secret divorce
mill indicates that the abuse of private di-
vorce trials is to be reformed everywhere
but here in Pennsylvania.