Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1889-01-22
WEDDING sToUIEs.

person OF tender years. All went well
until the moment came for Timothy and
his bride to give their troth to each ether
in the prescribed manner.
Say after me-" said to Timothy, "I
Timothy"
There was no response.
Sag after me-" repeated the parsop.
" y, Hmothy--h
Timothy was still silent, puzzled look
creeping over his broad lace.
"say after me, said l for tue third
time, with, perhaps, u shade OF annoy
ance.
After you. SIR" responded Timothy,
with the poiitest possible duck OF his bull.
let head
But this Indifference to the rubri,s ia
so great that upon the injunction, ''Place
the ring on the third fluger," have more
than once seen the Bridegroom clap Il
upon the third finger OF his own hand
with all the competency In the world.
Once detected bridegroom endeayor-
ing to force ring on to the brides thumb;
but there was Just suspicion that he had
been making merry before coming to
church that morning. The same excuse
could not be offered for n bridegroom
from whom could get no word Of re-
spouse, rot even sulky 81 will" Tie
situation was becoming most e.nbarrass-
ing, when the solitary bridr smaid his
sister-casually observed, "E's a little
ard Of caring, air." The man was stone
deaf; Jet they had not thought II neces-
fary TO tell the parson. II the bridegroom
understood not word OF the service,
what did IL mAtttri
But the marriage service from frat 10
lAst Is full OF pitfalls for the unframed
man. In some cases It becomes painfully
clear that the contracting parties recog-
nlze but few Of the words they are hidden
To say, aud merely initiate the sound with
such accuracy as their imperfect knowl-
edge will permit. The words 10 have
and to hold" ought to be simple enough,
but, as q matter of fact, they are the sub
Jeets Of some astounding blunders. l re-
member one bridegroom who had brought
very charming your & bride 10 chufca,
and perhaps regarded her as thing OF
beauty to be In his home 10y forever,
rendering "to have aud 70 oid'' as 40
have O. teho d." Another, who possi-
oily had some esuse to dread the fate OF
Mr.. Caudle, st,uck out an entirely new
version, and faithfully promh ed 10 have
al d be told" ITO love and to cherishu
is smother frightful stumbling block.
ITO love and be cherries" was the neatest
to the origina Of many variations popu-
lar amoug the males Of that parish. The
brides were happy with the familiar rem
tering "to love cherries and TO bay -
Gods holy ordinance" tripped up many.
Holy orders" was convenient, and psr-
haps conveyed the most meauinp. "PliPht
thee my troth' and 'gve thee my troth"
were, / imaglEe, words OF foreign sound.
and well remember one you q perpon,
who Was webbing most villainOus-look.
ing fellow. changing her statement into
"thereto give thee NY throat" There
was, perhaps, an unconscious prophecy
wrapped up in that promise.
The words accompanying the delivery
OF the ring are, as erybody knows, the
subject OF some characteristic blunder,.
never hei I'd ZONE of the more elaborate
distortions credited to countrym n, but
our people nobly d stingulshed themsev,s
over the clause with all my worldly
goods l thee endov." They never blum.
dered so aptly as tho fortune-hupter who,
In wedding an heiress, unwittugly said !,
with all my goodly words l thee en-
dow they were content to produce
similar sound with a sublime Indifference
TO sense II thee and thou" 81 thee do
bow" II thee allow" were the most
popular of these versions.
But nothing more clearly indicates the
utter lack Of intelligence with which
some of the poor regard the services Of
the Church than the fact that once upon
time came upon a youthful eurato
solemnly and deyoutly marrying the
ia her OF bridegroom TO the mother of
his bride in the presence of their own
proper partners. The discovery was
Drought about in this way. It was
Christmas morning, great time for
weddings, since Boxing day then re-
NAMED for the honeymoon. Seven or
eight coup'es had given police, and the
congregation was large. While one
curate regi stored the couples IN the YES
try another married them in succession
with such expedition as a slight stutter
would permit. The old parish clerk. with
his list of names, called up the high
contracting parties as the turn OF each
came. i superintended the whole proceed
iDgs.
In the vestry were two young people
being registered whose names were, let
us say, Jones and Smith. Coming
around to the ehancel again, one was
little surprised TO find the old clerk in
curing among the congregation for a
Mr. Smith and Mrs. or Miss Jones.
When next looked In his direction he
had brought up to the chancel steps q
gentleman well stricken In years and
dressed in q sleeved waistcoat. The
bride was broad, comely woman whore
turned-up sleeves left bare two mon
stl GUS crimson arms Oppressed by an
uncomior able suspicion hurried to the
vestry, and there found the young p-o-
pie, Jones and Smith, just paying the
fees.
as your father here?" said to the
bridegroom.
eyes, SIR"
us your mother herei"-to the bride.
Yes, SIR"
Now" said l to Jones the younger,
'look through this door and To me If
that is your rather being married there"
"Well, sir," returned Joues, amer a
lsisurely inspection, she's having it read
over 10 him."
us your mother alivei'
"She's In church."
1t was the work oil an instant to rush
around and stop the service. But when
the people were dragged asunder, Jones,
the elder, 10 reply to an indignant inquiry
as TO what he meant by 1t, coolly replied,
IWell, he3 Indicating tho penilent
clerk with jerk Of his grimy thumb)
tod us to come this way. That couple
had been charged by mention Of "the
dreadful day OF judgment, when the Sc
erets Of all hearts shall BE- disclosed" to
say whether they knew ans impeachment
Why they might not lawfully be joined
ogether In matrimory; anu they heard 1t