Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1889-10-25

| IlSOu OOeS NOt Even SouO b 0lVer-
mounted Napkin Ring----Cy Nc
Cormick Pumps Snort About the
Blaines----Snort's Great Speech at
the Wedding Breakfast.
WASHINGTON, Oct. l, 1889.
MY DEAR JOHNNY: l didn't care to
go to the Blaine-McCormick wedding,
but Blaine insisted upon it. He said,
with husky voice and quivering chin
"Colonel Snort, if you don't attend
I'll break off the match"
The truth is, Johnny, Blaine has
been looking over the political field,
deal of plowing to be done right off:
In fact, Johnny, unless accept second
place on the Republican ticket in 1892,
Blaine will not run at all.
l asked Harrison if he was going to
attend the wedding, and he replied,
sulkily, that he was not.
"But, Mr.. President, if neither of us
is there, it will create talk"
Then, Snort, you go; but l don't
know who will attend to breaking up
the Solid South while you are away"
ayes, that is little awkward, Mr..
President, but suppose we let the South
remain in its present CONCEALED condi-
ton until get back. l will only be
gone few days. Please don't let any
body else break it up while Pm gone,
and don't do it yourself"
The President assented, and 1 has
tened to the station, where Blaine was
holding back the train. l was very
cordially received by the Blaine party.
The train had hardly begun to move
before Blaine whispered:
"Did the old man intrust you with
any wedding presents?"
replied in the negative, whereupOn
Blaine sniffed the air contemptuously,
and said:
"Don't that show what he is made
Of? ! believe what have heard, that
he turns the envelopes inside out and
uses them second time. So he
didn't even send a silver plated napkin
ring? The only thing he ever gives
away is himself, and that amounts to
precious little"
There is no doubt about it, Johnny,
DAdAhO 10 a DClOIc VIC
got to Philadelphia felt like picking
somebody's pocket, such a peculiar
influence does he exert upon all around
him.
Our reception at Richfeld Springs
was in the nature of an ovation. The
village was illuminated in our honor,
and the happy peasants rent the air
with hnZzas for Snort and Blaine. /
was introduced to quite number of
great people, and among them a
brother of the bride, Cyrus McCor-
mick, very nice gentleman. We
became quite intimate, all of sudden,
and he asked me if had ever been
married. Fearing that he was going
to spring another beautiful sister, with
IS, ,OOOOOO in her own right on me, /
said what 1 could to discourage him,
remarking:
"No, Cy, nobody but myself slum-
bers in my lonesome couch"
| "Too bad! said Cy.
eyes, particularly in winter time,
when it is so c-o-ould, but have the
satisfaction of knowing that the wo-
man who Tilted Snort has to suffer
from the same cause. She, too, is still
o spinster."
Serves her right, Colonel Snort, 1
amt bit sorry for her. By the way,
Snort, why don't you make up to the
Blaine girls? You can cut that fel-
low Damrosch out If yeu try. Being
go thick with the old man, you have
the inside track, as it were. Or, there
is Gail Hamilton; eh, Snort, sly
dogl"
"Cyrus," said /, I" the Blaine females
are homely. 0, UNI! Don't talk!
They average All years, including Is
drouthy summers and two or three
grasshOpper seasons. Then, again,
Cyrus, have you read how Mrs. James
G. Blaine, ST., has treated her poor
sick daughter-in-law, the wife of that
emetic, Jimmy Blaine, Jr.f Single
blessedness has its drawbacks, but
compared with Mrs. Blaine for a
mother-in-law, and Jimmy Blaine, Jr.,
for . brother-in-law, it is paradise
boiled down."
How is Secretary Blaine fixed,
financially? We have tried to find out,
but we can't" said Cy Mccormick,
changing the subject.
"Let me tell you what Texas leg
islator said of his own financial pros
poets. Referring to his per diem and
perquisites, he said that the per di-
rum didn't amount to much, but the
perryquees' was h-ll. Now, the sal
ary of the Secretary of State don't
amount to much, but the perryquees,
Cyrus, the perryquees, the soft snaps,
the pick-ups, etc., particularly when
Walker Blaine reports officially to the
old man, are-very numerous and
fat"
/ was then led into q room to ex-
anime the wedding presents, which
consisted of pair of new shoes from
the brides brother-in-law; q brass
door-plate from her grandmother's
uncle; half dozen case knives and q
kerosene lamp from the bridegroom;
q mop, broom and potato masher
from q wealthy New York friend;
can of kerosene and u bundle of kim
ding from the brides mother-in-law;
also, q nutmeg CRATER and some man.
tie ornaments from the brides school
| friends.
"Of course, Johnny, all these pres
ents were of silver and gold, embossed
with feur-de-Iis, and the work is of
the richest repousse, particularly the
nutmeg crater. Even the iron sauce
pans and the copper wash-boiler in
the kitchen are of solid silver.
As my invitation read that my
presents were requested ut the we'd
ding, beautiful silver-mounted bowie
knife from Colonel Snort, of Texas,
was added to the collection.
Emmons Blaine can lend it to his
"paw," when the latter has chance
to knife Harrison at the next Nation
al Republican Convention.
The wedding breakfast, which
followed the reception, was served on
tables decorated with flowers and
pieces montes. The menu was very
good. There was a loud call for o
toast from Colonel Snort, Of Texas,
and having considerable champagne
ON board, responded very felicitously.
Among other things, said:
| uGroat n,aatnra have enehrined love