davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-07-10
KISS HER AND TELL HER SO.

You've neat little wife at home, John,
AS sweet us you'd wish to see;
As faithful and gentle-hearted,
As fond as wife can be-
genuine, home-loving woman,
Not caring for fuss and show:
She's dearer to you than life John;
Then kiss her and tell her So
Your dinners are promptly served, John,
As, likewise, your breakfast and tea;
Your wardrobe is always in order.
With buttons where buttons should be-
Her house is a cosy home-nest, John,
heaven Of rest below;
You think she's rare little treasurer;
Then kiss her and tell her so.
She's good wife and true TO you, John,
Let fortune be foul or fair:
OF whatever comes to you, John,
She cheerfully b ars her share;
You feel she's a brave, true helper.
And perhaps far moro than you know
Twill tighten her end OF the load, John,
Just to kiss her and tell her so.
There's cross-road somewhere in life, John,
Where hand on q guiding stone
Will signal one 'over the river
And the other must go on alone.
Should she reach the last milestone first John
Twill be comfort amid your woe
To know that while loving her here, John,
You kissed her and told her so.
Lille Sheldon, IN Conkin's Dakotian.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-07-10
YOUTHS DEPARTMENT.
A WONDERFUL TOWN.

To-morrow's the Fo,.rth," said sleepy Ned
And I'll be the very first one out Of bed;
But Tor lear should happen to make mis-.
take,
The whole night long shall stay awake
How wish the morning would come, said hel
Dear me! Dear me!
And he fen asleep just then and there,
And dreamed OF a land called Rippantair.
II was wrong side to, and w side down,
ana Ratte-to- bang was the capital town
| inhabited only by queer little boys
Who cared for nothing on earth but noise
Ihey rushed through the streets with shout
and YELL
Pell melll Pell meli
And none but boisterous boy could bear
Tne racket and rout OF Rippantair.
Whenever the wind blew fierce and high,
The shutters and doors began to fly,
Iherc rose clatter of pots anu pans,
AND the houses spun like wind mill fans;
ihe city ratified and roared and rang,
Slam bang! Slam bang!
And the boys all shouted: Where, Oh
where
Can you show us a land like Rippantarl"
he dreamed they had bugles and big bass
drums,
ana instead OF peaches and pears and plumA
Squibs and crackers and rockets, too
On every tree in their orchards grew;
And every day was the Fourth Of July,
On, my! Oh my!
And every evening they filled the air
With splendid fireworks at Rippantair.
They finally bored for natural gas
when strange calamity came to pass;
They discovered-alas! it should make YOU
weep
A gunpowder subsoil three feet deep!
Ihe matches were near-the powder was dry
Sky high! Sky hight
With boom and rash, CLEAN and a
glare,
Went the shattered fragments of Rippantairi
he woke with start; the sun was high;
he looked at the bed; he looked at the sky;
For he thought at first, he had just come
down
With the scattered wreck of that wonderful
town,
he heard his brothers laughing below
Oh, OH Oh, obi"
But he smiled and said: well Idon't care
what Fourth had in Rippantair!
~Eudora S. Bumstead, in Youths Companion
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-07-10
THE SULTAN'S HAREM.
Three Hundred Wives Too Many for the
Ruler of the Faithful.

Three Hundred Wives Too Many for the
Ruler of the Faithful.
There is a screw loose in Turkey.
Some plot or other has been discov-
cred, and the consequences are being
seen in number of mysterious ar
rests, and in wholesale measures of
punishment against the press. The
fact appears to be that serious palace
conspiracy for deposing the Sultan
was detected in the very nick of time.
The Sultan was so unnerved by the
discovery that he sent for Sir William
White and asked for his advice. Sir
William answered that the Sultan
could only live in safety if he put
down his harem, not as a question of
morals, but as matter of policy.
seeing that it was impossible to
exercise supervision over an
establishment of 800 ladies' The
Sultan, who is practically a
monogamist, would be glad enough to
get rid of his 299 brevet spouses, but
the customs of his dynasty forbid him
to do this. On his birthday and on
twenty other days in the year he in
variably receives from his mother the
present of a beautiful slave, and this
young lady has forthwith to be trans
ferred to his establishment in the ca.
pacity of harem dame, with house
hold OF her own, consisting of at least
four eunuchs and six female servants,
to say nothing of horses, carriages
and grooms. Multiply the number OF
these households by 500, and it ceases
to be astonishing that the expenditure
of the Sultan's civil list should amount
to "a, 900, 900 a year. A large item in
this sum represents the bowers which
the sultan pays to his slaves when
ne marries them. To favorite Of
hclals, about 100 girls are married
from the palace yearly. and each of
them is entitled to receive e1O. 900,
Unfortunately, the bridegroom who
takes a wife from the Sultan's hands
must, at his earliest convenience, make
present OF a slave to keep the staff of
the imperial seraglio up to its proper
figure. The Sultan loathes the whole
thing, but what is he to do? There
are too many vested interests engaged
in keeping the imperial harem sup.
piled with wives, and if the Sultan
were to cashier his entire female es.
tablishment he would certainly be de
posed or murdered. Glasgow Herald |
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-07-10
FULL OF FUN.
-"Of all the shell-fsh in the
wurrld," says Paddy, "give mo an
egg"

-'Of all the shell-fsh in the
wurrld," says Paddy, '.give mo an
; egg"
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, l see that
the front gate is down this morning. /"
I, Clara (shyly)-"Yes, papa, you know
love levels all things
Mrs. Ward-''Where is your hus,
band working now?" Mrs. Precinct
"He amt working. He has got an Of
flee in the city government Boston
Courier.
IL have got an account of land.
slide" said the new reporter. What
head shall l put it under?" PUT it
under the Real Estate Transfers. y"
replied the snake editor. Pittsburgh
Telegraph.
-Physieians-"You see your son is
feverish, Madam. Notice the coating
on his tongue" '.Mrs. Anxious-"I
don't see any coating on his tongue;
but see an ulster in his throat and
his pants are dreadful short. Epoch.
-Lawyer-"My conscience troubled
me little last night about that fee
charged Jones yesterday" Friend
(astonished)-"Your conscience" Law
yer-"Certainly. I was afraid that
had been unjust to myself" -Washing.
ton Critic.
Dentists Daughter (who hears her
father approaching)-"Oh dear, Ed
ward, here comes my father. If he
should find us together here, we are
lost. Oh, he is coming! You will
have either to ask for my hand or-let
him pull out tooth for you" File.
gende Blatter.
"A Little Confused What a fine
expression that was in the sermon to-
day about the boys being father to the
thought, though don't quite agree
with it when l look at our boys" 20
my dear, you are quite mistaken.
What he said was that the wish is the
father of the man. But it was splendid,
almost as good as Browning"
-"Cross Examining Counsel-"Now,
Mr.. Brown, you say this Louis c.
Brown is a distant relative of yours?"
Mr.. Brown-"Yes." Cross-Examining
Counsel-"What relation is hep" Mr..
Brown-''My brother" Cross-Exam-
lining Counsel-"But you just told us
he was a distant relative" Mr..
Brown-"So he is. At present he is
in China"
Mrs. Hilton-"I might as we'll tell
you before we go any farther that l
discharged the last cook we had be-
cause she seemed to have the idea that
she was the most important person in
the house. l trust that if l engage
your services as cook you will always
be able to remember the place you
occupy" Would-be Cook" There'll
be no trouble on that score, mum. |
never get so full but what I can find
the way home. "-Terre Haute Express.
In the business office of a news
paper. Complainant" Here, I want
my money returned, the money I paid
for this advertisement" Clerk-"It
seems to read all right: Wanted,
widow of considerable at
fractions to correspond with an old
bachelor of means" Complainant
"That's all very well; but look at the
way it is classified" Clerk-'I am
really very sorry, sir; it must have got
in with the Business Chances by mis-.
take of our new clerk. America.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-07-10
HENRY /. BI0SSAT, Business Mana ger.

favorite In spite of its destructive
qualities. To shoot one of these rapid
flyers when in pursuit of a flock of
ducks, the hunter wants a shotgun,
well-charged with heavy duck-shot.
The bird does not soar about in the air
as do the buzzard-hawks, but often ap-
proaches within very reasonable dis
lance of the gunner.
The little pigeon-hawk, though
tiny creature compared with the duck
hawk, rivals it's larger companion in
its rapid flying. It is seldom shot,
even by the best of woodsmen. 1t is
always on the move, restless and quick,
watching with the keenest of eyes for
danger or prey, and ready at a mo-
ment's notice to enter into the widest
sort of race. 1t doubles up, circles
around, lodges, falls and rises alter
nately with such rapid motion that
the larger1hawks can seldom capture
it. They kill thousands of pigeons,
doves and robins every season, catch
ing them with apparent ease.
Of the chicken-hawks, as they are
called, the small Cooper's hawk is
probably the boldest and most de-
structive. 1t is pretty bird, with a
white breast and dark ashy-brown
back, and it is found throughout
North America. Every body is its
enemy, and it is killed whenever pos
sible, which isn't every day in the
week. 1t flies close to the ground for
its prey, but its ever-watchful eye de-
tects danger as quickly as it does food.
Rabbits, grouse, squirrels, lizards and
snakes are also its prey.
A few other feathered brigands are
worthy of passing notice. The little
sharp-shinned hawk initiates it's larger
companions in destroying wild pigeons,
cartridges, grouse and song-birds so
successfully that sportsmen are killing
it whenever shot is obtainable. The
woodpecker is quick bird, and can
usually escape a hawk by dartipg
around tree; but the sharp-shinned
hawks are too much even for these
artful little birds. The hawks usually
hunt in pairs, and they very easily
outwit the most cunning bird. They
have a zig-zag. wavering flight when
they are searching woods for prey.
The squirrel-hawk is another destruc-
tive creature that hangs about in the
woods and along the sea-coast, de-
small birds by the wholesale.
mice, moles and reptiles are
devoured by them. They are dull and
sluggish compared with most of the
other hawks, and lack their dash
and boldness. The marsh-hawk, or
barrier, is probably one of the least
destructive of the whole feathered
tribe Of brigands. Its battle-ground
is low marshes, where it destroys field
mice and small birds. Agriculturists
are in favor of protecting this bird, in
asmuch as its services in DESTROYING
mice and moles more than compensate
Tor its destruction done in other ways.
1t is easily shot by hunters, but it
lights fiercely when only wounded In
the Southern States the planters well
come it, for it serves most effectually
20 drive rice-birds off the rice swamps
Unfortunately it has been trapped and
shot so universally that it is getting
very scarce in North America-a fact
hat can not but be deplored by all |
who understand the nature of the bird.
George hthelbert Walsh, in Harper's
Weekly.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-07-10

Right actions for the future are the
pest explanations or apologies; for
wrong ones in tho past: the best evil
dence OF regret for them that we can
offer Or the world receive, Edwards
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-07-10
A Soldiers Conundrum,

Veteran Soldier Ito his comrade)-
I've got conundrum for you, ser.
geant.
Sergeant-Spit 'er out, as the dentist
SAID TO the patient whose teeth he had
jerked to the surface.
Nv ny are postage stamps like the
defeated and routed enemy9"
because they can't be used again. !"
mo. Because you see their backs
when you lick EN-. Texas Siftings
The best English pun we know of
is twenty shillines. -Binshamton Re.
publican
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1889-07-10

Don't be afraid of wild boys ano
girls; they often grow up to be the very
best men and women. Wildness is no
ylciousness. HERBERT Spencer.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-07-14

In certain part Of Germany the rcas-
ants delight In red waistcoat,. and one
POOR fellow. who could boast Of only onc
chest suit" which included 20 very red
waistcoat. was one day bidden 10 "A
funeral The clergyman looked disap-
provugly at the bright garment, and ;he
peasant. by way of apology, said very
humblv. "Noycr mind. reverend sir. If
only the heart is black. that is the chief
thing." And another yokel. mailing from
the same district. whom ho was advised
by his friends and neishbors 70 abstain
from wearing his red Waistcoat no a
funeral. fell Q-mourniug, and said. NAY,
IL | can't wear that. all my pleasure IN
going 10 the funeral is entirely gone' w.
Fall Mall Gazette.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-07-14

Il would seem that women ought 10
have guiding strings hanging from their
pockets 20 assist ia discovery when the
contents arc needed How often poor
woman stands scarlet and miserable
hunting fo. her pocket. while a car CON
ductor s,olidiy awaits hi, fare. The
writer saw variation on this. 4 con-
ductor wanted change for dollar bill
A Girl tcadcrcda handful of small money,
al the same time asking % bee pat Oh 90
Eighteenth street II was then Twenty
fhirl frest Ihcconduct0r returned the
bin aul ihe surplus change The giil
stuffed tine bin DO hnr glove and after
some hunting seemed io lind hcg pocket
nnd dropped therein tae coins. AZ TWEEN
tioth street "a sudden wild look came into
her ewes. and she began fumbling for the
pocket again, and unsuccessiully Doubt
leeponeI TO anxiety and fear 10 horror
Old hcr face. Presently She made "a eau
lous move.
4 nickel rolled somewhere on 10 the
floor. She got rigid aud began hunting
In different direction. We were near
ing Eighteenth street shepretendednoi
10 notice it. and she looked more and
more miserable. You see, she had put
the coins through the placket hole Of hei
dress. and not in her pocket al ALL The
conductor motioned a cent rolled tc
the aoor. The girl would sec neither tho
coin nor the conductor. Then the con
ductcr shouted, while tho car waited
Eighteenth. madam.
Go on" said the girl.
But this Is Eighteenth street. re-
turned the conductor.
Down went q dime.
IL don't want 10 get out, the girl an
swered. tears Of rage rising in her eyes
Didn't You say Eighteenth he said
81 have changed my mind the CIR
answered desperately, tear and three
cent piece rolling 10 the floor together.
Vel, the writer got out at Ninth street
and she hadn't found either her pocke
or the placket hole yet, and the floor wa.
all over small change She may be rid
ing yet.-New York sun.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-07-14

The hottest day that ! everexperienced
was during tho summer u 1853, while
aboard q ship at Key West. Fla The
sun beamed down upon the deck Of tho
vessel and seemed 10 be SO close that il
would almost raise blisters Tho fire;
had gone out in the kitchen. and, as
was hungry, ! procured several fresl
eggs aud put them on tho deck. The
deck WAS covered with pitch, which va.
boiling with the heat from the sun. II
less than i've minutes my eggs were
cooked hard This sorry may seem in
credible. but it is true.-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-07-14

j saw Tie smallest ncvsboy in New
York n City Hall park Yesterday. lie
vas little 1-yea-oid. chubby in face
and still % baby, vet hc had an armiul
off papers. incmjinea bundle of Graphics.
twas the lRtlc fellows debut as news
boy and he was surrounded by dozen
or moro lads. AN older than himself. whN
were shnckIne and yelling like SO many
Commchcs The wee fat legs waddled
past the court house into Chambers
Street 40 the head OF the quecrprocession
and thc childish voice piped. Eros GO
Noo.ees am ce Gmfcck.' Hey. hey
.ullt for Ietcyr screamed the delighted
news boys iu chorus Forgetting THEN
sale. for the moment, they were all bent
900 giving the little chap a start Ia the
business under the best auspices. !
stopped and bought apaper.
The big brown eyes looked mp into
mine and the baby voice chirpcd; Tan
kce." CIV im dcchangc, Petcy, yell
I'd the mob of urchins no, my boy;
keen 10 for mck." Hey hey" broke
uut the storm again, and Petey and the
narofo0i.d crowd swept past, the fat lit
tel..s just ahead Of the others. We're
brcaMn' him in, boss, explained one OF
the bigger boys. "Hc's got nobody tel
homo. 'cept gal a. is sick, kinder and
Petey's agoin' ter sell papers ter keep de
house" "Wil hc make enough: | ask.
"a "Bct yer life he will" was the
sturdy answer Der fellics won't see
Pete. let Hes in traiuin' fer de mas.
coo Of our baseball club. Pctey IS and
he'u make big money dis season an don't
,cr forget it." And the good hearted
Ial skipped after the procession which,
with peicy still at it's head. was now dis
appearing down Park row.-Ncw York
Graphic.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-07-14
He Wasn't Anxious

"John, wake upl | hear noise I'm tho
kitchen. There's somebody in the
house"
Jumping out Of bed.) Don't be
afraid. Maria. I'll drive him ont. BE
calm, darling
Don't go down that steep stairway
with your revolver cooked, John. II
might go or before you are ready
Crawling back into bed) Mrs Bill
lus. IL you haven't any confidence in my
management Of burglars you can take
the revolver and so down yourself. -
Wheeling lntellgcnccr
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-07-14

The uo2 agreeable Of all companions
Is simple. frank man. witAoutany high
nrotcntions 20 an oppressive GREATNESS.
ono who loves life and understands the
use Of it. o0licing alike II ali hours,
above all. OF % golden temper, and stead
fast rs an anchor For such one We
gladly exchange tho greatest genius. the
most brilliant wit, the proioundesI
thinker
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-07-14

Young Man-Don't you remember me:
OLD Gentleman-Can't say that | ever
saw You before.
Don't you remember little Sammy
Bambry, who used 10 steal your peaches
aud break your windows, twenty years
ago, right here in AUSTIN
why. certainly. | remember you now
very well; how you used 10 steal my
peaches, and don't you remember how |
caught you just as you were getting over
the fence one day. and how tanned
your little hide for your
"You bet you did! All, those happy
days will never come again. "--Iime.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-07-14

THE best Of all paycments, as has oeen
shown by experience in our own and
foreign cities. is made Of asphalt When
asnhalt payements first came into use IL
this country they were largely made
with coal tar, and proved defective IN
many ways; af,erward the methods AMI
materials used in the Old World were
imported and gave excellent results.
r The result of the experience Of
the last ten years has clearly shown THAI
the pavement made with tAe Trinidad
asphalt is equal 70 any in the world and
suncrior 10 amy other kind Of pavement IN
i,.. L. exccllencies cleanliness, silence
and salu5gily are so apparent that no ar
.llmcni is now needed TO enforce them,
and 10 these may be added, and placed
first on the lisl, economy; for II costs as
little and lasts as long as any other good
paycmcnt. AMI is much less trying 70
horses yel.cies and human nerves. II
is rapidly growing in favor, aud it is not
too much u say inat il is the pavement
az the future. and is destined IN most
loca.iii.s t. snp.rscdc Ell other kinds
Professor Nevlerry ia School of Mines
Quarterly
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-07-14
A Forcibie Illustration.

"What do YOU do when people come
IN and bore yout . warm personal friend
asked OF q merchant.
"Whcn they stay too long, the Office
boy. who Is very bright and knows just
whom 20 interfere. tells me that a gentle
man is in the counting house waiting 20
see me on important business
ola. hal That's q capital way 70 get
rid of bores who don't know
Just then the boy opened the door and
sung ont Gent i'm the counting house.
sir. waitin' TO SEQ you on important bust
Ok0loma News.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-07-14

William Mooney, of West Pike, Potter
county, Pa. has a peculiar head OF hair
When a storm approaches every hair in
his head stands out straight, and as he
wears his hair very long he is quito
ridiculous sight. On that account he
never leaves the house when it is cloudy.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1889-07-14

MI. VI. Iemoino, the Canadian author,
has been writing on an average Of one
book a year for thirty years and has
dipped his industrious pen impartially
into both French and English.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-09-16

difficulty in getting moderate concessions
from the weaker holders. Waiting con-
ditions prevail quite generally in all the
markets. The financial state Of the trade
is more satisfactory than it has been, re-
covery from the alarm oecssioned by the
recent failures having come about There
has been no significant changes in quota
tons during the past few days Most Of
the years clip has reached the markets IN
Philadelphia, New York and BOst1n, and
the ayerIge quality Of the stocks is super
iCr.
The Ohio heecss have sold more Hber-
ally than for some time past at Boston.
The range of quotations for this deserlp-
ton IS unchanged. Some sales Of Michi-
gan Y. wool below SOC are mentioned.
Territory wool continues in good request
on the whole, and Texas and California
supplies are unchanged. The fall clip IN
those States is beginning to receive
Thought. Curront quotations in Boston
are as follows, with comparisons;
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-09-16
THE WOOL MARKET.

Dealers Confident but Manufacturers stn
shy.
NEW YORK. September 3-Bradstred' 5
VIII say in to-morrow's issue; Conf
dence on the part OF dealers continues to
be the most prominent feature of the
wool markets. Manufacturers display
less Of that feeling Sales accordingly are
somewhat restricted, though cash buyers,
or those Of the strongest credit, find no
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-09-16

MR. G. W.. BURKE, late editor OF 'ne
Terra Alta Tines, has become one OF the
editors sud publishers Of the Ns'o Era. 81
Kingwood. BIr. BURKE is vigorous and
iacisivs writer, and be viii make Rome
howl in che style Of ihs style Of the late
SAMUEL p. MCCoRNuCK. White winged
pace is not yet ready TO hover over
the Preston county Republicans, TO any
great extent
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-09-16

CAPITALISTS have had their eyes open
ca o. the advantages for investment which
West Virginia offers, and the keenest sort
of competition is going on among them
for the development Of favored localities
-Four different charters have been obtained
by as many different companies for the
construction Of a railroad mp Coal uyer
alone. Similar contests for priority ere
waging 10 o half deem other sections Of
the State. No better proof IS needed TO
show that West Virginia industrial boom
has come to stay.