The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-11-30
Learning the Art of Leaving.

When Madame de Stael visited
Weimar with the avowed intention
of intellectually capturing the liter
ary lions of the day-G0ethe and
Schiller-she made one fatal mistake
she staid too long. Goethe wrote
to Schiller: MADAME de Stael is a
bright entertaining person, but she
ought to know when 1t is time to
CO." Besides not knowing when to
go, 1t Is evident from incidents rec
orded of her journey that she did not
know how to go. She fingered after
she had started. 1t is related Of her
that at one place after she had an
nounced her intention of departing
In the morning she started CONVEX
sation which she vigorously kept up
until 1t was so near noon that her
hast and hostess could but press her
to stay for luncheon. This over, the
conversation was again resumed, nor
allowed to flag until it was 80 near
evening that the strained courtesy OF
her entertainers could hut suggest
that the horses be taken from the car.
riage, which had waited at the gate
all day, and that she stay another
night, which she did.
1t IS Disraeli who, in "Lothair.
puts in the mouth of Theodore the
sentiment that no one should ever
say good bye, but in departing should
fade away like summer cloud. 1t is
probable that the great statesman
and novelist wrote this after part
ing interview with some one who
had bored him with tedious fare
welIs-Who understood not the art of
leaving. For in tine narrowest and
choicest circle of friends and acquaint.
ances there are usually some persons
the pleasure of whose VISITS or calls.
whether of business or pleasure, is
marred by the fact that they do not
seem to know how to go. For when
a friend or caller departs we are
either glad, sorry or Indifferent. IF
we are glad we desire to be brief if
we are sorry, the quicker the painful
scene Is ended the better; if we are
Indifferent we grudge the draft on
our time, If we are busy. as the most
of US are, with the pressing affairs of
life.
The art of leaving is less under
stood by women than by men. The
habits of business, the recognized fact
that to business man time is money,
the throng and press and exacting-
ness of business life all tend to make
men who live in cities the best posi-
BILE exemplars of the fine art of leav-
ing quickly and neatly. A business
mans social call is usually model
of good manners in this respect.
When he has said what he has to
ssy and listened to what there Is to
hear, he takes his hat. says "good
evening"" and is out of your presence
without giving any time or chance
for the too often tedious and embar-
RAISING commonplace of mutual in
Vitations and promises to call again
which seem to be kind of social for
mula with women. In striking con-
trast with this neat and sKillful meth.
cd of cutting short the parting words
of an interview or call is the too
common social practice of visitors
who, commencing to leave, seem
temporarily to abandon their pur-
pose and then linger as though it
were kind of compliment to the
visited party to appear loath to part
company. Who does not dread the
visitor who starts, then thinks of
something else to say; rises, and then
thinks of another subject of conyer-
sation; nearly reaches the door, and
then has another revelation reaches
the door, and, most probably holding
It open, is aroused to degree of
mental brilIiancy that threatens his
health and that of his host or hostess
by long OBTAINING of both in cold
draft while he discourses. What a
tax on the patience and politeness of
the listner. who yainly strives by as
senting instantly to every PROPOSE
ton to end the interview and break
the restraining bond of polite atten-
ton.
The equally annoying counterpart
of the tedious caller who does not
understand the art of leaving,is found
In the person who seems anxious to
detain the caller attempting to leave.
and who makes protests or introduces
newssubjects of conversation at the
critical moment.
Seaman as Ketormer.