St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-05-31

These lines attentively,
And take therefrom the lesson mean.
If a benedict you would be.
Be not too good, nor yet too bad,
Too careless, nor precise;
But aim to strike the medium,
Is what would advise.
Did you ever have occasion to explore
bachelors apartments? Those who
have not have missed one of life's great
est curiOsities.
/ have had the pleasure Of exploring
those of the happy go-lucky bachelor,
and those of the very precise bachelor.
The happy medium is pleasure the
| future holds in store as one of its allur-
| ing features.
The room of the first-named l was in
duced to enter through pity, for he had
| asked me, with tears in his mild blue
| eyes, to play the sister to him, and to go
once a month and clear his room; for
articles of no special value accumulated
so rapidly that he could with difficulty
make passage way to the bed at the
! end of that time.
The first thing I did was to remove
| from the room balls of Irvine, papers
and boxes / fou d Oh the floor. This
being done, | proceeded to the wash
| stand, and the sight that met my eye
| was diScOuraging in the extreme.
The outside looked quite respectable /;
| but the inside! The top drawer was
filled with shaving brushes by the
| dozen, pieces of mosquito bar, door
| knobs, patent medicines, lemonade
squeezers, straws, combs, soap, screws
and pills.
The lower drawers contained letters,
(not forgetting to mention the fact that
they all came from his mother (?)) bot
ties of herb medicine for the liver and
bottles of cream III all stages of sour
ness. Which I afterwards learned the
milk company supplied daily for the
promotion of the growth of his timid
moustache-each day fresh bottle land
each held pint was brought, and each
month found no less than thirty. which
l carried down stairs, and we are thus
enabled to supply the community with
cream cookies and cakes at reduced
rates.
By the time the washstand was ar
Hanged to my entire satisfaction the
dinner hour had arrived, but | soon
finished my meal and returned to my
labOrS.
next tackled his trunk. The adj
| Unstable top was filed with everything
under the sun. l fished out calico
shirts, celluloid collars and cuffs. red
silk handkerchiefs, white cotton gloves,
| withered flowers. keys, marbles. lit
tie China dolls in both black and
white. buckles, cartridges, cough Ioz-
| enges, brass watch chains, and even a
child's glove. l won't mention the
neckties found and other things too
| numerous to mention. The bottom of
| the trunk was slight improvement on
| the top,and contained only socks, night
caps, and frilled night shirts. OF course
| there were none OF these things but
| what needed mending.
The trunk and waShstand were types
| of the remainder OF the room. The
closet was filled with umbrellas, old
| shoes and straw hats.
Numerous pictures of base ball
| players. Mrs. Langtry and Mrs. CIeve-
land adorned the walls, and fans of
every style were found stuck in the
most inconceivable places.
| Then there were calendars dating
from the year one (for l want you to
| understand that this bachelor was not
| born yesterday.
/ could keep on enumerating articles
j found till Gabriel saw fit to blow his
horn, but I am a very kind-hearted
little girl and will spare your feelings.
The bonfire we had on the eve Of the
| day In question was truly exciting.
Some OF the neighbors thought 1t was
| our barn and teleph0ned the fire de-
partment. You should have seen the
look of establishment that over.
spread Chief JacksOn's countenance
when told him it was only
a months accumulation of debris found
in bachelors room. / presume he is
the happy medium, and therefore does
not understand how neglectful his kind
can be.
! We now arrive at the rooms Of my