The new North-west., 1889-03-01
CHAPTER NIX

Columbus has furnished the old world with
an inexhaustibe source Of amusing novelties
You pass from the curious to the marvellous,
from the marvellous to the incredible, from
the incredible to the impossible realized.
But it is to American journalism that the
palm must be awarded
The first thing that attracts your attention
Is the titles OF the articles The smallest bits
Of news cannot escape your notice, thanks 10
these wonderful headlines. 1t requires u
special genius for the work to be able to hit
upon such eye ticklers,
The death OF Mrs Garfield, mother of tic
late president, was announced with the head
ing:
DEATH OF GRANDMA GARFIELD
The marriage Of NJ Maurice Bernhard,:
SARAH $ BOX LEADS HIS BRIDE TO THE ALTAR.
Tho execution of u criminal WINS announced
by Chicago paper under the heading:
JERKED TO JESUS.
The reports of two divorce cases ut CHI
cago were entitled respectively;
TIRED OF WILLIAM.
MRS. cAnTER FINDS FAULT WITH HER HTS
BANDS KISSING.
An article on Prince Bismarck was headed
In large letters, BISMARCK W1TuDRAWs
Just underneath in very slnat! print was
His resignation as chancellor OF the German
empire"
The marriage of Young Earl Cairns WHO
had been betrothed several times, was All
nounccl to the American ladies thus;
GARMoYLE CAUGHT At LAST.
Al
papers were constantly speaking of certain
iinancier named Jacob Sharp. Accused Of
fraudulent dealings, this gentleman had been
arrested, but subsequently released nntrie1
The press indulgod in much comment on the
matter, and such remarks Us: "-il mortals
havo their trials except fnancicrs, y
One morning the newspapers were Obliged
to desist from their attacks poor Jacob had
passed away from Garth
The same day met tho editor Of one of
the large daily papers.
"Wcl" said, there is a fine occasion for
grand head line tomorrow; you arc not
going to let it slip, suppose''
What do you meanE'
How can you aska Why, Jacob gone up
the ladder, OF course
"Splentlitl!" he exclaimed.
Shame on thee, my dear editor, thou
didst not find that one
Il must have it How much will you take
for it!n
"rli make you Il present Of it, said.
Next morning the death Of tho financicr
was told i'll two columns, headed:
JACOB GONE Up THE LADDER"
Ii ever wanted to apply for n Journal
stic post in America this would bo my most
weishty recommendation in the eyes Of my
future chief.
This is how one American reporter mado u
reputation at bound Tho Chicago people
are still proud to tell the story:
The young fellow WAS taking walk one
evening in retired part of the town, on tho
lookout for what adventure history does not
say All at once a human form lying mo-
tiouless on the ground attracted tho sight Of
our hero Ho drew near to it, stopped down.
and found it to be corpse His first inn
pulse was to Immediately seek Il policeman
and tell him of the discovery. But second
idea came; it was more practical, and he
adopted it. This was it,
His paper comes out at III the afternoon,
50 that by running straight to the police sta
tion he would be making the matter public,
and furnishing his brother reporters with
column or two for their morning papers, 1t
is catch, this corpse, and not to be lightly
given away. What todos Simply this Our
journalist drags the body into an empty
building near at hand, and carefully hides it.
At II next morning he discovers it by chance,
fac tc la lara
| ton to tho police, and then hastens away to
| the office Of his newspaper with two columns
Of description written over night, At 2
| o'clock the paper announces: "Mysterious
murder i'll Chicago; discovery of tho victim
| by ono Of our reportersi'
The morning papers were outdone, tho
evening ones nowhere.
An American newspaper is conglomeru-
tion of news, political, literary, artistic,
scientific and fashionable, Of reports of trials,
of amusing anecdotes, gossip of all kinds, in-
teryiews, jokes, scandal the whole written in
style which sometimes shocks the man Of
taste, but which often interests, and always
anluses
a literary celebrity Of Boston said to mo
ono day: ~ am ashamed Of our American
press. We have only two papers in the coun-
try that do not blush for, and those arc The
Boston Post and The Evening Post, Of New
| York;
must say that, if you want to hear
America and everything American severely
criticised, you havo only to go to Boston
There you will hear Boston and England
praised and America picked to pieces.
"Are you an Americana once asked of a
gentleman met in Now York.
! "Well," he said, after somo hesitation, I'm
from Boston"
/ You must visit the offices Of the great New
York papers in the evening If you would get