The Iola register., 1889-08-09
THAT BOTHERSOME BOY.
His Absence Caused More Trouble
Than His Presence.

Than His Presence.
There is a certain age of that playful,
mischievous animal the boy, when a
home is thought to be made pleasanter
for his absence.
Deacon Ezekiel Croft and his wife,
"Aunt Mary" as every body called
her, were about to enjoy the felicity oi
house, minus that boy" for Tom,
their noisy nephew, had gone to spend
whole fortnight at Sandwich among
the glass-blowers and sandpipers.
What a rest it will be!' sighed
Aunt Mary, remembering Toms hob
nailed shoes and dreadful appetite; and
the young professor. who was boarding
with them, thanked his stars'-by
their Latin names-that at last he could
have a little peace.
1t was just supper-time. and the three
sat down to bountiful country table.
Aunt Mary, by force of habit had
placed four chairs. but one was vacant,
and the pause which followed the bless
ing was somewhat awkward.
As a general thing Aunt Mary looked
over at Tom Immediately and said:
Tom. take your elbow off the table -
or Tom. schere is your napkin? l do
wish that / could ecer teach you man.
ners at the tablcr'
Uncle 'ZeGiel" was apt to ask as soon
rs there was Il pause: Tom, did you
come right home from school and do
the chores?" And if-as sometimes
happened-Tom could answer in his
otf-hand way: Yes, sir, all DONE"
then Uncle Ezekiel would ponder dark
ly for few minutes, finally coming out
with.
Tom, how many boys did you take
down to the cider-mill a week ago last
Saturday." or something similar.
Then while Uncle Zekiel was sum-
moning up the evil deeds Of departed
Saturdays, the professor found has op-
portunity.
Hadn't ought as have often told
you, Master Tom. is entirely contrary
to the genius of the English language
Ought not is the correct expression" "
he would add, with a schoolmaster'
didactic air.
BY this time, in spite of his various
sins. Tom, going on with undiminished
appetite. had worked his way to about
the sixth biscuit
y neUerT Aunt Mary would say as
he took it. You'll certainly have the
dyspepsy, Tom"
No. Aunt Mary, Tom would answer.
his good humor as irrepressible as his
appetite. I'm safe up to ten; tens
my limit-never 60 over"
So, at this first supper, it is not
strange that there was sudden ST.
lence, since the unfailing subject-and
object-of conversation was absent
Finally Uncle 'Zekiel spoke. looking
over at the vacant place again.
Seems kinder lop-sided an lone
some without Tom, after all"
Now, / guess it will be happy
lonesome for the next two weeks, $
replied Aunt Mary. Il should like TO
have a chance TO hear myself think
once in awhile"
Aunt Mary had an opportunity to
shear herself think" all that evening
There was no one to upset her nerves
by sudden hand-springs, popping corn.
cracking nuts or munching apples while
he pretended to study. But, somehow,
her quiet thinking seemed a fatiguing
operation, for, weary and a little dis
pirited in appearance. at half-past
eight she rolled up her knitting-work
and retired for the night
Neither thoughts nor dreams dis
turbed her until in the early twilight OF
the next morning a voice penetrated
the mist of Sunderland, calling:
Tom. T-o-o-m! Come. Toni. And
looking out she saw herhusb band stand
ing at the foot of the back stairs, call
ing with all his might: Get up, Tom!
Time to make the kitchen fire, Tom.
Come! Come, Toni Don't be q
sluggard!
"'Early TO bed and early to rise,
Makes boy healthy, wealthy and wise"
why. Ezekiel Croft" called out
Aunt Mary, in astonishment, ..be you
clean gone off your mind this morning?
Don't you remember that that boys
gone to Sandwich
"Well, l declare" said Uncle
Ezekiel, sinking down into splint.
bottomed kitchen chair, and laughing
until his fat sides shook, Il never
thought a word about it, I'm so used
to gettin' that boy up in the mornin'
that don't know how to begin the day
without it I'll make the fire right
away
mo, 'Zekiel,n said Aunt Mary. I'll
make the fire and you go out to the
barn and do Toms chores"
She dressed herself rather hastily and
nct quite SO neatly as was her habit,
and hurried out into the kitchen. There
was no kindling-wood ready as was
usual-no one had thought of that
and, taking a basket, she went out to
the great wood-pile and gathered a few
chips, SO damp from the morning dew