New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-04-07

pros ssional services may be required in the spirit
Now. MS nearly as could be made out through
the medium Of Noltche's polyglot ola podrida OF
pure Mojave broken English and mongrei Span
ish, poor Lying Jim, owtpg to profe sslonai mis-
hap stood IN that very sSsDs fbs quarter
master, interviewed between him and his now
probable destiny his chances OF being transferred
to a higher sphere OF mendacity were most eA-
eellent.
The Indian Nemesis is a remarkably prompt god
dess, who never allows the grass to grow under
her feet IL she possibly can help 1t; ana the quar-
ternaster knew that IL the beloved reproDate-
Noltche's Benoni-was TO be saved from an un-
timely fate providing he had not already encoun-
tered it,, the rescuing providence must fly with no
delaying wings ne Therefore 20 taHs him inn TO ts
scene of Jim's forthcoming execution down the
valley. -, c.r
fdence, with wild impotence, as she heard the
order. No bogy, or you will have TO go ro9na
by the earre ta-avunye-the wagon road-and Iol-
low the river. Get on caballo quick, and take
the avunye-the trail-the Yuma avunye, caro-
Quart-mast it's two miles shorter Vamones a
prisa lie suphco por el MIC muchacho! Nenga
conmgo-eome with me on the cabaIo !-Wmch
the quartermaster did at once as fast as the horse
On reaching Noltche's usually quiet oser wick
iup rising in the middle Of her little garden patch,
he found j. the cenre Of confusion use 9 morse th9n
ing MooRlo mooklo, muerte, muerte" e." Death,
death"-poor Jim, in the cast-of undress Of a first
lieutenant OF United States infantry, about TO be
forever dishonored in the disgrace Of an ignoble
death was pulling away backward as hard rs
he could, like e refractory mule, at one end OF o
tolerably long rope fastened with hangmans loop
around hts neck; while half dozen stalwart In,
dian bucks were hauling away Justify forward
fully as mushly at the other, in the direction OF
the river, with the intention Of drowning him IN
it like WORTHLESS pup with big stone hanging
from his neck.
It is more than probable that lazy Lying Jim
had never in all his life put forth such exeruons
but his efforts were unavailing and the river was
looming up most ominously in the near distance
when Providence, with a strong cowhlde NIUE
whip and a pair of loaded reviewers oucRIeu
around its waist, appeared on horseback upon tae
scene and quickly changed the aspect OF Sn 1rs
generally by laying its whip as hard as II could over
and across the shoulders OF the foremost tehis,
which at once let go the rope and backed to the
rear behind the squaws, bowling With pain ana a's
appointment.
The ouartermaster, however, was soon surround
ed by crowd Of yelling MOjaves male and female,
who resented his interference with their ancient
custom; and matters were beginning TO look serl-
GUS when Confidence, blowing like q hippopota-
mus with her long run from the post, hung herself
among them with the momentum Of batterlng
RAM AID catching her scaIe grace son oy the SERUM
Of the neck, quickly dragged him near the quarter
masters horse, where the three together formed
o defensive triangle.
Matters waxing from bad 10 worse, the officer
was about 10 draw his revolver when Noltche,
turning her head toward him, quickly whispered:
"Quart-mast, give them pesos-mucho pesos
and Indians won't drown Lying jim"
The qusrtermaster saw the point and acted
upon her advice at once as the best that could be
done under the circumstances. Summoning the
relations Of the dead patient 70 his side, he soon
effected diplomatic compromise, which deprived
the de parted ghost of all future medical attend
ance and left him solitary wanderer on the
banks Of the StyX, while it took nearly months
pay out OF the poor quartermasters pocket; Tor 10
was absolutely wonderful TO see, as soon as the
irofa tlrNon fOff ha ma 6R
how many poor relations the dead man had left
behind him TO mourn his loss-nothing short OF the
whole tribe.
Having slowed away the pesos among the folds
Of their gee-strings" for with the exception OF
Lying Jim's blue trousers there was not single
pair OF breeches among them all-the whole con-
Germ, every mothers son of them, madS presto
change of family base, and W Ia the perverse bind
ness OF public opinion, which crlngeS 10 maj
when he Is up and kicks him when he is down,
they gave up the dead as soon nc he was paid for,
and transferred their allegiance and family ties,
then and there, 10 Lying Jim, who, instead OF bel x
drowned like u mongrel cur, found himself all at
once standing at the top Of the heap with
more hrothers and sisters, uucles and aunts, bow
ing TO him from beneath than he had ever before
or knew what to do with.
AS he rode back 10 the post the quarteTmaster
with his hands in his empty pockets, fell into .
musng ft, and made small calculation in mental
arithmetic, which proved y his entits satlsias,
5 ns SosTe 0S Nan p E e heavy G
for man of his size 70 carry, and that unless
he shook her of in very short order-hefh7 ana
her Living Jim-tho incubus would soon compel
him 70 inquire his way TO the nearest poorhouSe,
For those were the days in Arizona when the
lately Joined Eastern recruit going TO the poet.
traders frontier store TO buy needle Detbought
himself of first inqulrng the price.
Fifty cents,H replied the trader.
Fifty cents for needleH repeated tie panic
struck recruit, at Sl3 month and ration.
Why, man" exclaimed the trader, I'M
patiently, at an establishment and dismay that
he could not understand, having grown up with
the country; what are you staring at with your
mouth wide open2 It's not the needle that costs
its the transportation,
application Of the depression lies in the fact that
the quartermaster nude up his mind then ana
there 10 do like the recruit and go without
Soitehe and her watarmelOns in the future.
a few DAYS thereafter Jim came up TO the post
In full uniform, 70 tender his thanks IN person
10 Providence for it's timely interference IN his
behalf IL. ,,.,
director and physician in ordinary TO the Moleves
fbe rame let alone the danger, had never been
worth the candle-and his promises OF amehainen'
in his future conduct were proi1se -..
THE nuartefmaster expressed hlmBeI as very
much srattfied at the proposed moral improve.
ment Ue reminded Lying Jim, however, that
certain subterranean abode reported as being
thicLIv inhabited, was paved with good intentions
never fulfilled, and he closed with the admonluon,
And mind me, Jim-or you'll regret ", you
scoundrel-no more mesquite beans OF dead caus
and buzzsrds hereafter L.. ..,
To which Jim, with q broad grin spreading
itself all over his by no means bad couptenahee,
agreed without debate, and bowed mmsen QUIZ
al the duartermaster's office with pound VI
smoking tobacco cajoled from Providence