St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-09-23
BOB BURDETTE.
Quaint Sayings of DrOlI Humor
iSf

list.
Brooklyn Eagle.
THE WORKINGS OF THE INFANT MIND.
Thomas Jefferson. when about four
years old, was playing with his blocks
one day. when the sound of an infant
sister came drifting in from the distant
nursery. 1T seems to me-" remarked
the infant statesman, pausing in his
childish labor, "or, rather, it strikes
me that Anna Maria has taken
her base on bawls." But. in
terposes the hypereritical reader,
Thomas jefferson had no sister Anna
Maria, and base ball and its slang
were unknown in his time" Yes, all
that l know; but l agree with Mr..
HOwells that in a novel dealing with
modern life. "a plot of close texture Is
anachronism." But" you say, ''the
infancy of Thomas Jefferson is not
feature of modern life" No, gooSey,
but base ball is. Go: get thee to kin
dergarten and learn the simple canons
Of criticism.
THAT EXPLAINS IT.
Harriet Hosmer has completed the
models for two large brOnZed doors; the
work was done in Chicago. and Harriet
complains that ''that city lacks the
clever Workmen who in Italy. relieve
the sculptor of most of the mechanics
work" Hal that casts a food of light
upon three things which have puzzled
US, two of which are. how it is that
stonecutter who couldn't command day
wages in New Jersey always blooms O0t
into sculptor when he goes to Italy,
and can't sculp any when he comes
home. HIM; ma; tut, tut. as it were:
pish. haw and marry come up.
OFF FOR THE WILD, WILD WEST.
Mr.. Joblots, returning from his Office,
finds Mrs. j. bathed in tears and in de-
eidedly hysteTical condition. flames,
oh. James, our boy is gone! George has
run away! Run away with the Begosh
boys" Yep" replied Mr.. J. 4
knowed it. / saw 'em running. Got
two pistols in the crowd, a loaf or bread
and twenty pounds of salt. Policeman
told me about 'em. Got buggy and
followed 'em about five miles; mighty
tired. and anxious to be pursued.
George took piece of chalk and wrote
on the fence. We're going to kamp at
HankseS woods. Deth to the perSOOer.'
He'll be back about 10 o'clock, and" he
added. twisting the rattan to make it
supple, well give him a royal wei
CUlue.
THE USES OF 4 HOME.
II want the library" said Mr.. Gas
well to the architect, ito be the largest
and ARREST room in the house." Il
don't see what you want with library"
interpOsed Mrs. Gaswell, ''you know
very well you don't smoke"
EITHER MELTS OR sHRINKS.
Science tells us that gold meits at
2, 4S5 degrees. We have known it to run
away like frost III the summer sun, if
you ever saw such thing out of doors,
when the mercury was down in the
cellar, and the racing on the ice better
than at any other time during theMhole
winter. Doesn't require much weather
of either kind to melt gold. In fact. the
colder the day is for you, the faster it
melts.
FROM GREENLAND'S ICY MOUNTAINS.
Great work. that of city missions.
Here Is line from the report of the
London City mission: During the year
Is, 466 meetings have been held, 2,0S4
drunkards reclaimed and IA couples in
duced to marry" Well, that's good
work for somebody. sure. A mission of
that sort must be sweet boon to the
''superhuOuS woman"