The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-04-18
THE LlMEKilN CLUB.
Wise Comments on the Question ''Does
Man Expect Too Much"


wise Comments on the Question 'Does
Man Expect Too Much"
"Does Man Expect Too Muchp"
asked Brother Gardner as he looked
up and down the aisles OF Paradise Hall
for moment and then blew his nose
with cannon-like report. "Dis ar
query sent to me from Griffith, Ca. to
be debated on by dis club. would
like gineral 'spreshun of opinvun an
doorin' de purceedins Samuel Shin will
either quit spittin' on de stove an
foolin' wild his feet or he kin look out
fur a calamity. Kurnel Cabiff will
please lead off,"
The Kurnel, who was suffering with
sty on the left eye, introduced the
same as evidence that he did not
expect too much. He expected to slip
through life without meeting any OF
its ills, and was greatly surprised
when boil hit him in the leg or a
soft corn showed up between his toes.
He knew men who expected to live
without paying their debts, and who ex-
pected the community to keep them in
tobacco and drinks. He knew others
who expected to loaf all summer and
have sirloin steak all winer So far as
his experience went man was always
expecting something, and was mad II
it didn't come. Man was also unrea-
sonable in his expectations. He had
known of bald-headed, cross-eyed,
lop-shouldered man to be mad for
month because he did not get the cane
voted to the handsomest man in town.
Major Insomnia Quackenbush begged
to differ with the last speaker. He be-
lieved that man was put here to ex-
pect, and that he couldn't expect too
much. When he went to bed at night
he expected to get up in the morning
and find the chickens safe. Was that
unreasonable He expected his old dog
would be at the back door, his Wheel
barrow would be in the shed, and his
front gate still hanging by one
hinge. Man had q right to expect
good weather, good living, reason
able amount Of ginger ale and lemon
ade. and passably good clothes. He
had encountered few people who didn't
expect any thing, and they not only
never got it, but didn't take any COM
fort. Man was created to enjoy this
world. To expect liver and bacon for
breakfast, pot-pie for dinner and hot
biscuit and honey for supper was only
within the bounds of reason.
E..lYs
could not agree with the last speaker.
Man, as he looked upon him, was
pore, onery critter, who really hadn't
any business on earth, and who should
be thankful that he was permitted to
stay here. He didn't think any body
had any right to expect good weather,
riches, good health or contentment.
1t was wicked to expect it. II he
blacked stove or cleaned a chimney
he expected his pay, and he
expected that pay would buy
Goldfish and potatoes, but he didn't
soar beyond that. Something had
been said about boils and corns. Why
should man expect to escape themp
What man had any right to expect that
the chills would skip him and hit the
family around the cornerp He had
made it a rule never to expect any
thing, and, therefore, when he found
fifty cents on the sidewalk he was ten
times as happy as the man who ex-
pected to find five dollars
At this point Samuel Shin and Elder
Toots, who have not been on speaking
terms since the last election, when
each met the other carrying home a
sack OF -four in the evening, got into a
row. They were pulled apart and
fined five million dollars each, and
then Prof. Asteroid Parker took the
floor. 1t was a subject he had given
much thought, but had not yet reached
a definite conclusion. It was proper.
he believed, for man to expect more
or less, but he must not be un-
reasonable about it. For instance,
If .he bought a ticket in a lot
lery, he had right to expect to
hit at least $40, 1000, but in going home.
OF dark night he had no right to ex-
pect to stumble over q bag OF gold
containing double that amount. Man
could properly expect three or four
days OF good weather in the week, but
he must not 60 on the idea that he ran
things, and could have what suited his
convenience best If a man walked
out Of his house in the morning with
out giving his wife any money he must
not expect a boiled dinner when he got
home. Boils. corns. carbuncles, ague.
toothache and lame back must be
looked upon as an Offset for going
fishing and holding cake-walks.
Waydown Behee said he thought
man unreasonable in his expectations.
II he left his. hoe standing outdoor he
couldn't expect an angel to come down
and guard It while he slept and snored
withouta care. Whom he bought a dozen
frsh eggs ne bad 1'pp right TO expect
theyewoulds sAoM o9t as sHchs spd when
$he ha&ter qEr9Ated his hat not to
fade in the tsdp He couldn't expect that