Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-12-07
STENOGRAPHIc BULLS.
Some That Are Up to the Standard (
 Printing Office Blunders


 Printing-Office Blunders.
 Since the mistakes of Moses no class of people has made such peculiar and ludl crous errors as the stenographe.e, when you take into consideration their general brightness and cleverness. A prominent Treasury official gives the ''Talking Ma chine" ot the Washington Post the benefit of several which have been of recent occur renee ip his office.
 Being in hurry for certain special plans he dictated letter to the lithographer, requesting hlm to rush the work as speedily as possible and forward it to the Treasury The stenographer brought in his type written letter in few minutes, and his chief glanced it over.
 "You have this wrong," said he. ssI told you to write that the plans were to be sent up in Knox wagon"
 ''That is what I understood you to say, sir have written that they were to be de- ivered in an OK wagon"
 'But said a Knox wagon.'"
 "Ah, yes, certainly, 'an OK wagon,'" re- piled the puzzled shorthand writer ssI-I fear don't see clearly what you find fault with, sir. l am quite sure I took you ac- curately."
 Perhaps l might have made myself bet ter understood" ," responded the chief, Eff 1 had said that the plans Sere to be forward ed to the Treasury by one of Mir. Knox's express wagons
 The unfortunate young man blushed to the roots of his hair, but his experience did not save him from falling into second phonetic pit within fortnight A certain young naval officer was seeking preferment and as step toward the goal of his desires was filing strong indorsementsr from vari- ous quarters. Among others to whom he applied was the Treasury official. The lat ter knew the young officer as diligent, studious gentleman of fine abilities and at talnments. He resolved to give him as warm concentrations as possible Turning to the stenographer the official dictated a eulogistic letter to the proper direction, and mentioned his subject as having been on in- innate footing at the house of the com mandant of one of the Federal navy yards When the letter was handed in for his signature, judge of the officials horror when he read in the midst of an otherwise cordial and satisfactory letter the following startling sentence:
 He is on intimate footing at the common dance-house, where 1 have met him ire quently."
 That letter was revised in a hurry.
 The same succession of confusabe words placed a Washington lady of high soclal
 
 was visiting the family of the commandant of the Charlestown navy-yard in Boston harbor. She went shopping one day with the Commandant's daughter. After mak- ing her purchase at one of the big dry-goods stores on Washington street she directed the clerk tohave them sent to her address, Commandments house, Charlestown navy yard.
 "W-wheres" asked the clerk
 I t,1, yard"
 ''They look like ladies'" muttered the clerk under his breath. ''Did I understand you to say common dance-house, Charleston navy-yard?"
 "Yes," answered the lady, impatiently "Havc them sent at once."
 The purchases came, and the driver of the delivery wagon succeeded in placing them without much trouble, but they were addressed to Mrs. Blank, Common Dance House, Charleston. Navy Yard" She still preserves tho box lid with the address on it, and shows it to Q select few of her lady friends.
 The same official is responsible for still another story:
 l was at my desk few mornings ago when E rather rough-looklng individual walked in and said: '.Good morning." re- piled to his greeting and asked hIm to b. seated l worked steadily ahead until l found place to pause, then turned On him with an Interrogation point in each eye He took his foot out of his hat and said ''l'va come to take place.'
 "What place!'
 ''Take place as lighthouse keeper. l've never kept a lighthouse, but that'n jest about suit ms, so I've come to tell ye I'd take one. It don't make much difference Whar seed yer advertisement, and came right to headquarters stud of goin' to yer agents,''
 'H-m! Have you the advertisement with yous'' ''Sartin.'' The visitor reached into his pocket and pulled out a copy of that mornmg's Post. iointing to certain spot he said: ''Thar 'tis'' The official looked and read among the small adds; flight housekeepers wanted Apply etc. It was advertisement for families who wanted to do light housekeep ing.