The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-05-02
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
-Amisfortune much sought by young
men-A Young heiress.

PUNGENi FAhA0hHTHo'
misfortune much sought by young
men-A young heiress.
--Soarandfiop (grandiloquently) =
''Yes; it pays to do right. Honesty is
the best policy after all" Frankley--
''Why don't you have it renewed. y
Time.
81 am opposed to all games OF
chance" said Rawson. "And yet you
got married?" said Lawson. ''Yes,
and that's why am so strongly OPP
posed to em.-Drake's Magazine.
The Kansas Legislature contains
ten newspaper men, who at once ele-
vate it's standard of intelligence and
reduce its average percentage OF
wealth. City Star.
81 know my defects" said B-jen-
kins pompously; and as the bystanders
looked at him admiringly, one OF them
whispered to another softly: "What
an awful lot that man must know"-
Somerville journal.
Mr.. Garrulous-''Why do people
think the Sphinx typical Of wisdom,
George?" George (who is still suffer-
ing from the effects of curtain lecture)
81 guess it is because the Sphinx
always keeps it's mouth shut. .''-Har-
per's Bazaar.
-She-'I must show you my new
clock before you 60" He QacetiouslO
Some of my friends tell me l am
homely enough to stop clock" She
%, that won't matter! 1t can be
started again. Life.
Cant you spare me little money,
papaP" "How much, dear?" ''Well,
[ want to buy enough material to make
one of the new-fashioned bathing
suits. ''AlI right, my dear. Get what
you want. Here is half a dollar. ~
Richfield News.
-''What shall we do if the price of
-four goes up any further?" exclaimed
Mrs. Kneadem to her husband. 81 can
suggest a simple remedy my DEAR" re-
sponded Mr.. Kneadem, quietly. ''Just
continue your home baking and we
need not anticipate any rise in bread. "
Montreal Star.
Young author-"Doctor, if l can't
get some relief from writer's cramp
shall have to give up my literary
work. l have come to you for advice. "
Doctor (who has read some of his
literary work)-''My young friend,
quit writing entirely, and relief not
only instantaneous but widespread
will follow. Chicago Tribune.
You used to think little more
of me and not quite so much of your
self in the days when you were counting
me-" exclaimed Mrs. Brown, tearfully
during the course of little conjuga
conflict. 'You never said truer thing
than that" replied the brute. II Iforgo
myself entirely at that time or neve
} would have proposed. ."-Terre Haut
Express.
Editor great magazine-"Here i
a fine article on Modern Art, but it i
written by some unknown jay who live
| in Pumpkinville. Assistant-''Al
: right; I'll go out and find some grea
} artist willing to put his name to il
Guess one will do it for $100." ''Ver
f well; I'll send the jay fifty cents an
r tell him to keep quiet, and that mayb
l we'll take another article from hil
7 some day and let him use his ow
: name. Philadelphia Record.
l -Blobson-''Ha, ha! Here's an a.
ticle which says that before the close
3 the nineteenth century we shall sc
, women running locomotive engines Q
4 our railroads" Mrs. Blobson-" "Wel
t why not? Don't you think they woul
n make good ones?" Mr.. Blobson--"'l
v some respects, perhaps. They woul
g keep good lookout ahead, anyway.
n Mrs. Blobson-''Why SOP" Mr.. Bio
d son-"Because they would have the
s heads out of the cab window all tt
e time to show their new bonnets. "
t Burlington Free Press.