The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The rule of three-Oue too many.
An I-glass-The mirror. A Glass L
in the mirror.
The stepping g-stones to success are
Crooks. life.
1t is the bearded lady whose face is
her fortune.--Litt.
First in war and first in peace-The
letters "w" and 'p."
The good die young. This is particu
larly true of chickens.
"Not in our set" as the false tooth re-
marked to the old grinder.
A man experiences that ''sinlling feel
ing when he falls overheard.
Two heads are better than one-On
the shoulders Of a museum freak.
No wonder time is so often killed; it
is struck every hour.-,St. Louis Magazine.
Ayopth-the subject of the rhyme
Spent all his strength in killing time.
Asyears rolled on--the truth is grim
Time took his turn and slaughtered him.
Merchant Traveller.
There is no reason in the world why
"baby show" shouldn't be bowling sue
cess.
A real life-saving station is always
managed by sailors, and not by doctors.
-PicayHHe.
This is the turning period in the life of
the farmers boy if there is a grindstone
on the lace.-BinghGmtOR Republican.
When washerwoman changes her
place ofresidence one may ask her ''where
she hangs out now" without using slang.
When the maiden dons muslin gown,
And the dog has 4 muzzle on too,
'Tis then we sigh to get out of town
And down by the ocean blue.
Boston Courier.
Mrs. Parvenu to the maid)-"Now,
Lucy, you may do up my hair" Lucy
eyes, mum. Shall do it up in paper
or get a boxn
A hard storm is often alluded to as
rain of cats and dogs, but biting storm
is probably when the fall is confined to
CANNES exclusively. .-Ha,per's Bazar.
A man was arrested the other day for
stealing an umbrella and tried to get off
by saying that he was trying to lay some
thing by for rainy day.-B0stoR Post.
The sheriff's notice thus supplies
a moral and tale;
The man who failed 10 advertise,
Is advertised to fail
philadelphia Press.
"Post no bills" calculated Fleecy,
reading the well-known sign seen in
many parts of the city. "Humphl ]
never do; always prefer sending them
by the collector '-Judge.
When il amt rainiu' it's bakin'.
When il amt bakin' il blows
When it don't blow it's a-hailin',
So geti your coal fore it SHOWS
Detroit Free Press.
Al the Jeweler's-" But, Max, don't
you think it eXtrayagant to give $500 foi
diamond to wear ON my hand2n "Not
at all, my dear; you don't consider how
much | shall save on your gloves. -
Fiiegeade Blaettsr.
Here lies man who laughed at death,
For many Years he Knocked her
Some say he died for lack of breath
And some accuse the doctor
-NelU York sun.
"You must stop this smoking during
business hours" said the head clerk
"What's the matter!" inquired one of the
boys. The boss says he can't appreci.
ate his five cent cigar when you clerks are
putting your Henry Clays. '-Epocb.
Mr.. Swallowtail--"Sir | come to con
fcss great wrong | was about to do tc
you and 60 beg your pardon. l was
about to el!pe with your eldest daughter,
Papa--"Come again; what was the diff
Guilty, my dear fellow! Didn't have
enough money: Let me lend you a couple
of hundred. - Chicago Aeyald.
A terderfoot whitfield beside wood she'd
When soue cowboys of Sassafrass CITY
Caused a shower of bullets to whiz round his
head
And he looked on their efforts with pity.
For he gsaed from his dream with beauti-
ful smile
On the demons of carnage and bloodshed.
And murnurad, "A miss is a. coed as a
Nile'
As he carved the ball out of the woodshed
-Hdfpe,'s BUEdr