The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-06-22
MISCELLANEOUS.

"A newspaper paragraph estimates
that there are 100000 railroad en-
ployes in the United States who re-
ceive annually $500, 900, an average
of $500 each.
The Times says it is the custom in
Philadelphia to send young ladies to
dancing school up to seventeen or
eighteen years of age, and then turn
them loose on society to learn how to
talk.
"A New York lady won the prize
for furnishing the best recipe by which
a dinner could be prepared for 81. As
soon as her husband found this out he
borrowed the dollar and took his din
ner down town.
California boasts of the extent and
splendor of her fora, but statement
in local paper that "a Martinez
woman killed seven big tarantulas in
her flower garden lately shows that the
love of the beautiful has some serious
drawbacks there.
"A New York pilot says that if one
sailing craft can sneak past another in
distress without being signaled she
will do it nine times in ten. 1t costs
the owners money to feed rescued peo-
pie, and they don't encourage humans
actions.
-Highwayman - "Hold up your
hands," Pedestrian-''My dear sir, l
have Just returned from Oklahoma.
1.-The deuce you have! Well, you can
get a good free lunch on the next block.
Good evening" -Nebraska State Jour-
nal.
AT teachers institute in back
country district in Maine not long ago
well-dressed. rather prepossessing
young woman rose to say, with refer
ence to educational methods: "Ther
chldrane of my skule are gittin' on
weller with the new educational sys-
tim than they did with the old I'm,
'cause it's simpeller."
"A Norristown Pa) father, on
making his nightly census of his nine
sleeping children, to see that all was
serene, found that one was missing.
After a rigorous and exciting hunt of
the house and neighborhood the lost
one was discovered peacefully sleeping
in the family wash-basket into which
it had crept at play.
"A teacher Of the Sebewa, Mich,
school, took novel method of supply
ing a demand that the school board re-
fused to heed. She had each pupil
bring an egg, and then sold them at a
convenient grocery. With the pro-
ceeds she purchased towels and soap,
and the appearance of the children
after play hours is much improved.
Didn't Suit.-Mother-"Well, did
you get that situation as Office boy?"
Little Son-''Nope." What was the
matter?" Don't know. The gent is
a lawyer, and he asked me if l was q
good whistler, and told him was the
best whistler on our street, and he said
wouldn't do. Guess he must want a
reg'la professional. IN. Y. Weekly.
There is an old negress in Clarke
County. Georgia, who prepares herself
for death every night, and this is how
she does it: After short prayer she
clothes herself in a long, fower-be-
decked gown, plaits her hair carefully,
crosses her hands on her breast and
then falls asleep. Two coppers are
placed on the table beside her to put
upon her eyelids. She has directed
that she be buried on the banks of the
Oconee river, and believes she is going
direct to Heaven. She is angry beyond
expression as she wakes each morning
not having moved muscle during
her sleep-and finds herself alive.
ut is curious fact" said a we'll.
known merchant the other day, that
the worse case of snoring can be stopped
by low whistle. You don't believe
it? Well, there's my office boy asleep
now on an old box. Here him snore?
Of course you do. The dead could
hear him. Now listen" The mer-
chant gave one quick, low whistle and
the fog horn accompaniment ceased
instantly, although the lad still slum-
bered. What are you doing?" then
asked the man of business, as he reused
his satellite with shake. "Nothin',"
was the instant reply Of the youngster.
II was jest hearin' Teller outside a
whistling like blazes. Albany Jour-
nal.
"A nervous young man, who called
on the President, fidgeted around for a
while, then walked boldly up to him
and said: -Some time ago 1 made an
application for an appointment. 1
want it awfully bad. don't care for
it myself but the fact is, Mr.. Presi-
dent" and here the young man blushed
to the tips of his hair, II am engaged
to be married. Unless l get this ap-
pointment the engagement won't stand.
There you have it, and now you know
why lam so anxious" 1t is said that the
card bearing the name of the applicant
and the Office he wanted was laid care
fully away by the President, and that
the young man was likely to be made
happy.
"A new scheme to induce warm
hearted persons to open their pocket
l. ,-I-a l.. L A