Morning journal and courier., 1889-04-25
DE AS.

ssWhat dc you think of this idea of when you smitten on one cheek to turn the othera" "I should call it reversible cuff. f."-The Clothier.
 "Fond of beastss' asked MT. Turniptops of Miss Belinda. "Dear me-" replied the lady, Eff that's intended for 8 declaration, you must really speak to my mamma. ."-Chicago Journal.
 'tI don't know who Hogarth is," said the general passenger agent; this name isn't in the Travellers Guide;' but if his line can beat the beauty of the scenery along ours I'll give you free ticketl"-Puck.
 A drunken silversmith who was thrown out of saloon and severely clubbed by an officer called himself repousse work, because he had his fill of pitch and had been after wards hammered.-Jewelers'W Weekly.
 The Lawrence (Aass.) American, looking about for some means of identifying Dr. Loring to it's readers, remarks that MT. Loring will be remembered as the orator on the occasion of the dedication of the soldiers monument in Methuen."
 The height of exclusiveness.-She-sI be- lieve you know my neighbors, the Chester field Browns?' He-"Haw-well-a-I go lem occasionally, and all that; but Pm not on speaking terms with 'em!"-Punch.
 Nellie-"Here comes your Sunday school teacher, and she isn't as smart as she thinks she is. My brother says that story about Joshua and the sun is all nonsense, because the sun deesn't move, and Joshua didn't do anything at all"
 Fanny (two years older and from Boston) -"Your brother evidently is not acquainted with science. The sun used to move, but Joshua commanded it to stand still. It did so, and has stood still ever since."-Life.
 "A Little Knowledge" etc.-Freddie- "Papa what does lilly meanp Papa (will- ing to give the boy lift-"A young mare, Freddie" Freddie-"Well, then, what do they call young COW, papas" Papa (slightly staggered)-"Oh, An! a-er-flly de boeuf." Columbia Spectator.
 A Comprehensive Question.-''My son." said the anxious parent. "I learn with some surprise that you are marked deficient in your French history. I thought you told me you finished your paper in ten minutes" "So I did; but the question was, Tell all you know about the history of France.'" 'Ah! I see, ,"-Harper's Magazine.
 The abeent-mindedness of Byron, the play wright, is famous. A new play was running through the dramatist's head as he was walk ing along Pall Mall, when a friend stopped him and said. tI am in grief" "What is it?' asked Byron mistily. "I lost my father last week." said the man. ''Too bad, too bad, J said Byron with an air of absent sympathy "very sorry" Then he walked on and con tinued to think about his play. Three weeks
 later he happened to be again in Pail Mall when the same man came up to him and said ''More misfortune" "Eha'' said Byron ab-
 sently. 'I have just lost my mother" ssid the man lugubriously. "Dear mel" said tn, \ dramatist petulantly, lyon lost your fathel | only little while ago. What an exceedingly ! careless man you arei"-Chicago Saturday Evening Herald.
 { Mr. Pettigrew, of South Carolina, was at I famed for repartee as legal acumen. On on. | occasion he entered the Court of Common Pleas, Abbeville district, clad in liner \ summer suit. He had to take jury suit al once. and borrowing black robe from 8 | fellow barrister, went at it. South Carolins has all the old English form and fuss, and 1 the judge said: 'sMr. Pe.tigrew, you have on light coat. You cannot speak" Pet tigrew replied: "May it please your honor
 I strictly conform to the law. Let me illus trate. The law says barrister shall wear
 black gown and coat, and your honor thinks ! that means black coat" "Yes," replied
 the. judge. "Well, the law also says tha the sheriff shall wear a cooked hat ant sword. Does your honor hold that tn
 sword must be cooked as we'll es the hat.
 Pettigrew was permitted to go on.-Texa Siftings.