davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
FAxcrEs OF FUNNY MEN.

Nature does not cackle over an egg
plant-Picayuns.
Ignorance of the law excuses no one
except policeman with .pull.''--Puck.
'-Oh, 1--we and let live, my man."
ssYes, I'D look well wouldn't II I'm Q
butcher. ''-1fne.
for him to turn around In. The dude expects his
trousers to turn around with him, and he dresses
aceordingly.-Hs,0 Orleans PtcGyuns.
"Who is there ?" said DIR. Brown-Secuard
in response to a knock at his laboratory door,
THE Grant Monument Fund, - was the reply.
'sWeIl can't do anything for you. You'll
have to walt TIL resurrection day. ~ Washington
Critic.
81 heard yesterday said Mrs. Jinks,
'that Featherton, the coal dealer, has acquired a
fortune Of e5o, 0oo.''
ssYesn said Mr.. Jinks, stand it's about time he
got 1t, too. He's been lying In weight for IL for
the last i've years.''-Tfms.
Jobkins and his wife are pouting after
domestic scene, ,, when their son Bob rufss ~
treacherous calm.
Mamma, which is the king Of the beastsr,
The poor abused wife casts withering glancest
her spouse and replies:
MAN, my dear. .''-Jttdge.
Tomkins is just married and goes apart
ment-hunting every day with the girl Of his
choice.
'Have you any rooms to letP'' he asked at the
frst house he came to yesterday.
sYes; large 'front.' one, furnished; s2Oa month,
with balcony.
'IIow much without9,, interrogated TomkinS
who Is OF an inquiring turn Of fmind.-Judge.
Gentleman-Well, how's Uncle Pete
nowadays
Aunt Chloe-Putty sick, Massa Benson
s'Nothing serious, hope.''
"Dunno. yet. White folks amt got no sense.
ssWhat do YOU mean. AnntyY''
''Dat ar Massa Gordon wanted Uncle fese 70
sup'intend his watahmelon LOT. Told nun 80.
Uncle Pete maybe nebber recoeer rom 70
shock. '-Ttms.
Mrs. Billus (while giving Mr.. b. cur
tain lecture at q late hour)-Harkl Wnat's tnaf
hear noise In the cellar. John, IN sure tsa
burglar.'' =.
Mr.. Billus (getting out of bed)-I'll ax him.
''What are you going to do, John' you havenf
your revolver.n
(Desperateiy)-I,m going 70 open the doors
ali the way down 70 the cellar % the internal
scoundrel can hear you talking. Chicago
Tribune.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

THE appointment of Mr.. Charles NJ.
Schwab to be General Superintendent of the
Edgar Thomson Steel Works at Braddock
seems to please everyone. 1t was no easy
matter to fnd successor to the late Cap
tain W. R. Jones, but the choice OF Mr..
Schwab again demonstrates the policy Of
the Carnegie firm to be to encourge and pro-
mote the best men in their employ.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
Another Marriage.

Miss Elvira D. Irwin and Mr.. R. l. Thompson
were married last evening at the home Of the
BRIDES parents in Ellsworth. Rev. B. F. Wood
burn, of the Sandusky Street Baptist Church,
performed the ceremony
The bridal party were unattended save by
DR.. James Kennedy Irwin, of Philadelphia,
who acted as master of ceremony. The bride,
who is a daughter of James II. Irwin, Esq, of
Ellsworth, was attired in a neat tailor-made
travelling suit of imported CLOTH.
The groom is associated with the firm Ar
buthnot, Stephenson & Co. and was attired in
the usual dress. The presents received were
very handsome, the groom's employers renaem-
bering him with. check of several figures.
The young couple departed on the evening
train for Eastern cities where the next few
weeks will be spent.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

WHILE the Gar is on his way to Berlin
to see bis dear brother in sovereignty, EN-
peror William, semi-oficial paper of Mos
COW states that all efforts of Germany to
conciIiate Russia will be of no avail. And
so the farce of 'Peace in Arms" goes on till
the great tragedy "War" is ready to begin.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
In Honor of the Couple.

The reception given last evening at the home
of Mr. and Mrs. w. F. Speer, on Center avenue,
in honor of their son Louis M. and his bride,
nee Miss Millie Wood, was very informal one.
consequently very social affair. Mr.. and Mrs.
Speer, Jr., were assisted in receiving by Miss
Machestney and Miss Nellie Speer a sister of
the groom. The bride was dressed in her
wedding gown, the young ladies In white silk
with lace trimmings. The floral decorations
were all the work of the family, and were very
pretty, the parlor mantel being very artistic In
white and green. About so guests were present.
and after lunch served by Kennedy. dancing
was indulged in to late hour.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
MY SUMMER NOVEL.
Alasi my summer novel
mourn 1t with a sigh;
The day I rashly bought 1t
A friend was standing BY.

Alasi my summer novel
Imourn 1t with sigh;
The day rashly bought 1t
A friend was standing BY.
Forthwith the book he borrowed,
To be returned that night;
And since that fatal moment
1t meier has blessed my sight.
He lent 1t to his cousin,
And she enjoyed 1t so
She lent it to a neighbor,
Who kept 1t on the go;
And lent It to her uncle,
Who lent 1t to his girl,
Who lent 1t to her teacher,
Who, with another whirl,
Sent 1t unto a nephew.
Who lent 1t to friend,
Who sent II to aroom-mate.
And, ohl where will II endg
Throughout this msddening business,
One hope alone l see;
Mayhap, In all this lending,
1t may be lent to me.
3 --Emua Carlton IN TINE.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
EYerxthing in n Name.

CHICAGO, October l0-The trade name cases
of the Singer Sewing Machine Company
against the June Manufacturing Company,
George P. Bell and o. P. Larson are on trial
here before Judge Blodgett in the Federal
Court. The patents of the Singer Company
have expired, but that corporation claims the
exclusive right to use the name Singer and
the present suits are to enjoin the defendants
from applying that name to any machines man
ufactured by them.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
their attention to sprinting hereafter. They
had some superb training yesterday.

THEY accord the imperial purple to WIFE
beaters in Baltimore. But it should be un-
derstood that the purple is raised on the
brute's back with whip. Wife-beating is
not SO popular in Maryland as it was.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
THEY ARE GRATEFUL, ANYHOW.
A Notice Printed on the Bnck of Buckeye
Complimentary Ticket.

A Notice Printed on the Bnck of Buckeye
Complimentary Ticket.
From the Salem, o., Republican,
Editors who receive complimentary tickets
to county fairs and other places are often
looked upon as deadheads, but the managers of
the Henry county fair, who have had some ex-
perience in such matters, had the following
printed upon the complimentary tickets they
issued: This ticket. probably. has been paid
for ten times over by the paper to which it is
issued. 1t will be honored in the hands Of any
man, woman or child, white. black, red or yell
it 1t is good for entrance and grand stand,
and the bearer, il driving, will be entitled to
pass a team free. The association recognizes
the fact that its splendid success is owing
largely, if not wholly, to the notices so freely
given by the press. and while we cannot render
an equivalent in cash, We return 0ur grateful
thanEs
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
sallor. for Our Nav Naxr.

The annual examination of Uncle Sans
embryo tars on the schoolship st. Msrys was
begun this morning. All the boys were dressed
in spick and span uniforms and were drawn up
in line to receive the examination board.
After the shipmasters had looked them over the
lads were ordered to spread out their hammocks
on the decks Then came exercises in splicing,
knotting and sailmaking. which lasted TIL
lunch time This afternoon the lads showed
the board how well they could do about every
thing a sailor should know how to do, from
manning yard to steering ship.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
Work Of the woman, Congress.

DENVER, October l0.-The Women's Con-
gress to-day elected Julia Ward Howe, of
Rhode Island, President; Isabel Rowland, New
York. Secretary; Henrietta Wolcott, Massa-
cnusetts, Treasurer; Sophia Hoffman, New
York, and Charlotte Pierce. Pennsylvania,
Auditors. Vice Presidents from every State in
the Union were elected
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

SAMUEL j. RANDALL was sixty-one
yesterday and he celebrated it by going to
Washington, thereby upsetting the stories
of his decaying health. His friends and
opponents will rejoice to see him in Con-
gress and in good condition.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
Bismarck In the Woods.

LhIOlU I ItutIIC III NJ II 1Il1IossI ---"-
Bismarck no longer shoots, and increasing
infirmity renders it difficult for him to
walk about in the forests. But as he cannot 90
to the woods, it is the pleasure Of his old age
to make them come to him. By this mean
that he is one of the most enthusiastic tree
planters in Europe. The other great old man
of our time has q famous passion for cutting
down trees. Bismarck differs from Gladstone
in that his preference is for planting them and
watching them grow.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

GROVER CLEVELAND very properly laid
much stress in his speech last night upon
the disinterestedness OF the late Congress
man Sunset Cox in his political life. An
ex-President knows better than most men
how few unselfsh men are in politics.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
CHICAGO MOVING RIGHT ALONG.
The City Taking IL for Granted That 1t VIII
Ger the Fafr.

UcI inc FnIfs
CHICAGO, October 10.-At meeting of the
Finance Committee OF the Worlds Exposition.
this afternoon, reports were received showing
that Sc, 100000 have been actually subscribed.
and about S3, 900 more In sight. The SUBJ
scriptions by the wage workers, who yesterday
celebrated the anniversary of the big fire by
contributing to the fund aggregate nearly $780,
600. and will probably reach s5O0,0OO. Mayor
Creger sent greetings to the Knights Tempiar.
at Washington, to-day, in the following tele-
gram:
To Grand Master officers and members of the
Grand Encampment, United States of America.
Washington, u. O.
Chicago sends Knlghtly greeting In her name
and on behalf Of her citizens. we Invite you 10
hold the grand conciave of 1892 in the city Of Chi
cago. AZ the same time the knights from all
parts Of your Jurisdiction invited to attend the
World Exposition 70 be held in this city
DEWITg g. CREGUR,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
DEATHS OF A DAY.
Mrs. Ann nTcShnne.

Mrs. Ann McShane died yesterday morning at
her home on Seventh street In the Fourth ward.
Her husband and herself kept the leading boat
store in that part of the city when steamboats,
piled on the Allegheny. One of her daughters is
married to Judge McKenna. Mrs. MeShane had
been Ill for some time, and during the year was
stricken with partial paralysis. She was one or
the oldest members st. Paul's Cathedral,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
The Brisands Mex. Week.

There Is an immense sale of seats for the
Casino Opera Company's engagement at the
that this is bona fids offer of New York pro-
duction on New York scale Of magnifcence.
The company is the same, the scenery the
same, and the costumes specially made for this
faur
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

r. A AMMoNs. an ex-Confederate soldier.
who is one of the leading citizens OF Fairmont,
w. Va, and speaker of no mean ability, was
called on for speech at Sons Of Union Vet
erans' reunion there. few days ago, and re-
sponded in way that was greatly appreciated
by the ex-UnionIsts.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

AN Allegheny man celebrated his return
from Europe by filling up on whisky and
f1ourishing gun. The city will celebrate
in milder way if he will return to Europe.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
A Plea for Napoleon Ives.

Application will be made tomorrow by the
counsel Of Henry s. Ives to have his second
trial. on the Indictment charging him with the
over issue OF the stock of the Cincinnati, Ham
ilton and Dayton Railroad Company. set for
Monday, before Judge Daniels in the Court of
Oyer and TermiDer. The experience Of the
first trial resulting in a disagreement of the
jury and the rulings of Recorder Smythe gen.
orally. are the cause Of desire for change Of
venue.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

THE protest of Farnham Post. G. A. R.,
No. 14S, in New York, against overriding
the pension business, will not make Presi-
dent Harrison's course any easier.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
B0ULANGER TAXES A PEN.

So the brave general, the soldier on the
black horse, the pride of the Partisan
pOpulaee, has decided not to invade France.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

If the Pittsburg ball club could not keep
pace with the leaders in the League 1t can
run away from local champions without any
trouble.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

THE City of New York ran aground yes
terday on mud bank. It was the steamer
by that name. But thescity's exposition
scheme seems to have stranded also.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

g. r. STARR, of Warren, Pa, shows a
branch of an apple tree with fully developed
blossoms. Apples were picked from the same
limb last week. This is a great year for strange
happenings.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
Bsupd fer the New CANAL.

Civil Engineer A. G. Menocal, who has charge
of the Nicaragua Canal, started for Greytown
to-day on the steamer Aguan, accompanied by
a corps Of 20 engineers.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
TALK About Your Political speedi I

Talk About Your Political Speedi
From the Morgantown Post.i
Railroad travel is getting to be SO rapid in
this administration that trains run over one an.
other. It is very hard thing for two trains to
pass on the same track.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
TkI-STATE TRIPLES.

A NuMBER Of the chickens in Cumberland
county have a disease which, in many in
stances, has proven fatal. The eyelids Of the
fowls swell, and then become scabby, and
death frequently ensues. On Saturday morn
ing last several persons purchased chickens at
market which were affected with the disease.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11
TERMS OF THE DISPATCH.

POSTAGE FREE IN THE UNITED STATES.
DAILY DISPATCH, One Year. 500
DAILY DISPATCH Per Quarter. 200
DAILY DISPATCH, One Month ................. 40
DAILY DISPATCH. including Sunday, year. 10 90
DAILY DISPATCH. including Sunday, 5m'ths. 50
DAILY DISPATCH, including Sunday, month 30
SUNDAY DISPATCH, One y ear ................ $50
WEEKLY DISPATCH. One Yesr .............. rs
THE DAILY DISPATCH is delivered bY carriers at
Jscents per week, or including sunday edition, at
Il cents per week.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

THE East End Athletics should turn
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

THE Town Council of Morgantown has
passed an ordinance prohibiting citizens from
putting shingie roofs on their residences.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-11

PHHAsANTs are plentiful and plump as
Lock Haven.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-12-18

THE Hon. JOHN F. HOUSE is now, we be-
lieve on the supreme bench of the state of
Tennessee. Seven years ago he was mem
Der of the national House of Representa-
tives, when his ability, learning and fair
ness gave him prominent position. Our
reason for referring to the gentleman at
this time is found in a speech delivered by
him in the House on April IS, 1882, the
matter under consideration being the con-
tested election case of CANNON against
CAMPBELL. The speech was mastery
effort in defense of right, ard was pro-
phetic as well, for in it we find the follow
ing which applies directly to these times
Let the carpet Dagger, expelled finally from
every state in the American Union with the
brand of disgrace stamped upon his brow, lift
up his head once more and turn his face toward
the setting sun. Utah beckons him to a new
field Of pillage and fresh pastures of pilfering.
Let him pack his gripsack and start The Nor
mons have no friends and no one will come for
ward to defend or protect their rights A re-
turning board, from whose decisions there is no
appeal, sent out from the American Congress
baptized with the spirit of persecution and in
tolerance, will enter Utah to trample beneath
their feet the rights of the people of the faroff
and Inflated land. Mr.. Speaker, 1 would not
place a dog under the dominion of set of car
pet baggers REINFORCED by a returning board
unless l meant to have him robbed of his home.
A more grinding tyranny, a more absolute deS-
potism was never established over any people.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-12-18

THE FACT that the Democratic Senators
of Montana have been sworn in need not
be construed by the Republicans as let
ting up in regard to the situation by any
means. Quite the contrary. They are
more determined than ever. They will
formally become Senators of the new state,
as is their right, but they will no more
consent to Republican frauds than formerly
They are willing TO let the two houses be
organized, but not disposed to tolerate
crime on the part of their opponents. The
Republican who thinks that the Democrats
are going to let him and his party perpe-
trate the eternal infamy of 1877 again,
even on a small scale, has not even slight
quantity of the intelligence which his party
arrogates to itself. No: in Montana, as
we believe it will be elsewhere hereafter,
the opponents of the majority can have
what they gain through the channels of
the law and nothing more. "Once bit
twice shy" and the Democrats will hardly
be bitten by the same dog twice.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-12-18
THE CRONIN VERDICT.

The verdict in the CRoNIN case, while
not all that those who demand most in the
way of retributive justice expected, is per-
haps as nearly an equation in the problem
as it was possible for jury of men gath
cred from Chicago and its environs to rem
der There seems at this time-in fact, it
has all along since the unfoldings in the
case began-no doubt that BURKE. COUGH
LIN and O'SULLIvAN were guilty of the
awful crime with which they were charged,
and that, in addition to the crime per sc,
they were contributors to, if not princi-
pals in scheme to set up a rule of indie
pendent action within the Jurisdiction of
the republic, for either of which they de-
served the severest penalties of the law.
Undoubtedly States Attorney LoNGE-
NECKER put the situation correctly when
he said it was compromise verdict. That
such a verdict was to be expected was pat
emit when it became known that the Jury
were hanging. But it gives it all an ugly
appearance for it to go out that one mem
Der of the panel was responsible for the
hanging and secured the mitigation of the
penalty which the other eleven desired to
have inflicted.
THE HERALD is no advocate of the death
penalty and thinks it about time that our
advanced civilization should take some
steps looking to its entire abrogation But
so long as death is the penalty provided for
murder, the law should be upheld as it
stands, and if these three men did not de-
serve TO die, it would be difficult to con-
ceive of case in which lives should be
forfeited. However, it may be for the best
as il is
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-12-18
THE LIBERAL LOBBY.

For a number of years every winter
there have been raised funds to send one or
more of the truly loyal' gentlemen who
are so industriously engaged in the labor OF
robbing the great majority of the people of
our territory of every political right which
is guaranteed to them by the constitution.
The two BIS have been the gentlemen the
most willing to sacrifice themselves in the
past by having fine time in Washing
ton at the expense of their fellows
residing in this city. We also recall that
man called WEST, who was supposed to be
the governor of the territory, went to
Washington and lobbied for supreme power
to dictate in all things in Utah. He mod
estly asked to have all of the territorial,
county and city offices made appointive,
and thGt he be given the authority TO make
the appointments.
The funds have once again been forth
coming, and the man now supposed
to be the governor of the people
has gone to Washington, profess
edly to labor for an appropriation
for the erection OF a government building
in this city. Inasmach as he has not yet
been confirmed in his present position, if
we were not fearful that the grand jury
would accuse US of conspiracy, we might
suggest that personal and not public inter
esthad called his excellency to the capital.
But we don't want to be placed in the po-
sition of accusing one holding such high
position as that of the chief executive of
our territory of anything but the most pure
and patriotic motives.
A man holding the position of governor
of the people, and who signs document
asking "that some federal agency should be
authorized to appoint the following county
officers: selectmen, clerks, recorders, su-
perintendents of district schools and assess
ors," certainly should be considered like
Caesars wife, and far be it from US to even
dream of such a thing as that the governor
is not animated by the feeling of profound
love for those he desires robbed of their
rights, and to see their taxes placed in the
hands of their enemies to be expended.
We have before called the attention of
our readers to the fact that his excellency's
report was not prepared for home reading,
but was intended for expectation. In this
respect it is twin to the late decision Of
Judge ANDERSON.