davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21

IT CREATES A SENSATION,
And Gives h Government Party some.
thing to Think About-zThe rarnen
Triai-M. De Freycinct viii Try
His md at Forminga Cabinet.

LONDON, Feb. 20.-In spite Of the gem
eral interest manifested in the proceed
ings of the Parnell commission, to the
neglect of almost every other subject,
Mr.. 4. p. OGonnors' Star has succeeded
in creating a genuine sensation by the
publication of an article advising the
Liberals to force the dissolution of par
Fliament and a general election. The ar
ticle urges Mr.. Gladstone to frame a
grand indictment of tho ministry and
present it on the first night of the ses-
sion. 1t also calls upon him to declare
the opposition refuses to vote supplies to
a government which is a national dis
grace and to steadfastly adhere to that
declaration. The Star neglects, how
ever, to suggest a method by which a
dissolution may be forced in face of a
majority. A policy of obstruction to
~theisupply votes, in view of tile now
general belief that the Immediate
strengthening of the the defenses is nee
essary, could hardly have any other eff
feet than ID cause the secession Of many
valuable members from the Liberal
ranks, and the likelihood Of Mr.. Glad
stone accepting The Stars advice is
remote. Still, the article has set a great
many men to thinking that the opposi-
tion have by no means exhausted their
resources for ~harrassing the govern
ment,
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21

and with equal chances, and yet how diff
| ~ferently they had got IN. "Ah! but just
| think exclaimed the brother, what an
immense advantage you had over me in
brothers!"
The discovery of the point, the seeing
of the joke is, says Sydney Smith, analo-
gous to the pleasant mental feeling in
discovering something quite new, or IN
suddenly understanding something dark
pleasant, but in a Joke the discovery,
since it is carefully prepared for. is mo-
mentary, unexpected, and without toll.
and therefore far more highly pleasure
bic than the ordinary mental discovery.
To take another example, that of the
wooden pavement before st. Paul's: III
the dean and chapter would only lay
their heads together the thing would be
done" said Sydney Smith. Here very
clearly the fun is in the pleasure occai
stoned by the instant mental discovery
of the connection, Notwithstanding the
apparent complete incongruity between
the heads of the dean and chapter and
the wood pavement.
Now, the slower a mind works the
more difficulty it has in quickly follow
ing out the congruity through the APP
parent incongruities, or the incongruity
through the apparent congruities, and so
in seeing the Joke. Men with slow
minds, then, prefer the plainest form of
discovery, such as the mere noticing
that something out of the ordinary is
going OIL, as when q man clowns it by
putting on an IN hat, a carroty
wig and a sea green coat. Thus, all
stupid; and duh witted people are most
easily amused by caricature and horse
play, and those minds which, though
they are powerful, are also sluggish, find
it too hard work to follow mentally the
lightning fash in a finely wrought ver-
bal epigram.
No doubt such a theory as this postu-
lates that the man who likes Lamb and
Sydney Smith, but says he sees no joke
at all in ~buffoonery, really means that
he only sees a very little joke, and that
he does not care for it because he can see
SO much more in other things. This,
however, agrees with common expert
ence. The man fond of the highest kind
of wit is never really unable to see the
fun of the clown, though it may bore
him by it's smallness, and if he is scien-
tifically minded he no more refuses to
call it a kind of wit, humor or fun than
he does to call vim ordinaire wine, though,
as a matter of fact, what he really con
siders wine is Laftte. All the mirth
causing agents are of one kind and differ
only in degree, though the degrees are
often intense. london Spectator.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
..ParnelIism and Crime,

LONDON, Feb. 20.-In the Parnell trial
Witness Macdonald said Flanagan wrote
the ''Parneilism and Crime articles
which appeared in The Times ON March
and 10, 1884,. Mr.. ParneIrs letter to
Pigott was produced and Justice Han
non asked if its genuineness was ad-
mitted.
Sir Charles Russell replied that it was
not.
MIR. Houston, secretary of the Irish
Loyal and Patriotic union, said the pam
phlet, entitled .'Parnellism Unmasked,"
was based on the information regarding
John Dewey, furnished by Pigott.
Pigott also furnished notes of alleged
conversations with Eugene S. Davis at
Lausanne, in which reference was made
to a letter, and he was instructed to pro-
cure the letter. Pigott said that all the
letters were III the possession of Egan or
Schooln1aster Kelly. He afterwards
supplied copies of five of Mr.. Parnell's
letters and six of Egan's. Witness fur
Their said that Mr.. Buckle, in 1885, had,
refused to touch the matter and he him
self, at his own expense, sent him to
America to obtain tho letters from Egan.
Pigott returned with a scaled letter
which he said he had obtained from
Breslin, ~instructing a. person iii Paris to
surrender the letter in his possession.
The sellers OF the letters afterwards of
fered TO return the money they had re-
.ceiyed If the lettars were returned &c
them, but the offer was refused.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
Treatment of .Bu-ps.

A physician writes: ''Quite often I see
formulas for the treatment of burns. As
! have been burned all over my body, ex-
cepting the soles of my feet, upon which
! stood while being burnt, SO severely
that twelve physicians said / could not
live, you viii see why I am SO interested
in such formulas. Please say from me
that the free use of soft soap upon a fresh
burn will remove the fire from the flesh
in less time than it takes to write these
words. II the burn be severe, after re-
lief from the pain use linseed oil, and
then sift upon it wheat flour. When
this is dried hard, repeat the oil and
-four until a complete covering is OBJ
tanned. Let this dry until it falls off,
and a new skin viii be formed without
a This treatment leaves nothing
more to be desired. n-Herald of Health.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
China as a Manufactnrinc cent.r

Lii Hung Chang is reported as saying:
Before half a century has passed China.
will be covered with railways as with O
net. Its immense mineral will
be developed. 1t will have rolling mills
and furnaces in many parts of the
country, and it is not impossible that it
may do the manufacturing forthe world
The yiceroy is exceedingly sanguine, but
there is no immediate reason for Ameri-
can and European manufacturers being
frightened at the prospect of the compe-
tition of the Nowery Kindom. A place
once lost is rarely recovered. The Chinese
were once the leaders Of the world, and
fell behind in the c 1t Ia not likely
t;ilat tiiey viii again take the lead. Turkey
was once in advance of Europe.-Rail-
way World.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
The nritIsh Parliament.

LONDON, Feb. 20.-Pariiament recon
n to-morrow 'sfor the dispatch of
divers urgent and important affairs
as the queens proclamation states
it. Nearly all the members, except
the Irish representatives who are
n Jail, have arrived in town, and
ire prepared to resume their legis.
ative duties. No N expects any
Important legislation this session. The
nsh que, ton will again no doubt fur,
fish material for discussion until the
autumn vacation. The queens speech
will be as short and embarrassing a.
ever. 1t will, i'll the usual form, con.
graduate the country at being at peace
with other nations, and express gratifi.
cation at the fact hat the law in Ireland
is being enforced by Balfour.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
The Same Stick,

First Physician-What utter idiocy!
Here are a lot of American actors pro-
testing against the Importation of foreign
actors. Second Physician-Yes, just like
the ignorant laborers who want their
own countrymen shut out SO as to
keep up prices. But we must be going.
NsYes. it won't do to be late at the med
ical convention, Our votes will beneeded
to keep these impudent women doctors
eat of the female wards of our hospitals,
and besides, we want a big majority on
the motion to debar young DIR. Wiseman
for advertising in the papers."-Fhiladel-
phia Record.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
Health is Wealth !!

Dr.. E. O. VESTS NERVE AND Brain TREAT
MENr, a guaranteed specific for Hysteris, Dizzi-
ness, Commissions, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia.
use Of alcohol or tobacco. Wakefulness,
Menta, Depression. softening of the Brain re.
sulting in insanity and leading to misery. decay
and death. Premature Old Aga, Barrennesa,
end Sperm torrhea caused by oyer-exertion of
the brain. self-abuse or oyer-indulgenoe. Each
box contains one months treatment $l.O0 q
box, or six boxes for $500. sent by mail pre-
paid on receipt of price.
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES
To cure any case. With each ord or received by
us for six boxes, accompanied with $500, we
will send the purchaser our written guarantee
to refund the money if ths treatment does not
effect a cure, Guarantees Issued only by
Purdy d BTecht. Druggists and Sole Agents,
Third street. Yankton, Dakota.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
FOREIGN NOTES.

WI. e 4lsiErS AE1l4Ht hAA "A
The Prince of Wales visited Mr.. Glad
stone at Cannes, Sunday, and spent an
.iour IN conversation with him.
"A Catholic. university will shortly be
founlel at Freibourg. Switzerland. to
which the of 1000, 000 francs has
ieen suoscri red already.
Lieut.. Col. Won Nillaame military st.
cache of the German ~ninbassay at st.
Peter burg. is to be recalled and re
placed iy Major Van Bulow.
In the election to I'LL the vacant par.
lianicntaij seat fer Eastro:tsiiire, Scot
land. Mr.. Minioct. GlaiitoDisn, received
900 votes and MI. Bol5, Unionist, q
ESQ.
The car, the czarina. a large number
of attaches of the imperial courts, sew.
eral ministers aud many diplomats were
present at the reception given at st.
Petersburg in honor OF Sir Ii. ID. Morier,
the British ambassador.
Mr.. Gladstone ia said to have re-
marked in his conversation with Signor
iCrispi: Lord Palmcrston had fifty
eight years OF public life and with .
humorous smile he ed led, II only
on ~fiftv-seven as yet"
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
First Publication Dec. 2.

Territory of Dakota, Second judicial Dis
triot ss.
In the District Court in and for the County of
Yankton.
J.. &. Bruce, Plaintiff. vs. Henry Fahernwald.
defendant.
The Territory of Dakota Sends Greeting to
Henry fahern valid, defendant.
ANSWER the complaint of j, L. Bruce,
plaintiff which was Sled IN the office of the
clerk of the district court within and for said
7th day Of December, 1888. and serve q cop of
your answer upon the Subscribers at their
Office, in the city of Yankton, u. T., within
thirty days. after the service of this
exclusive of the day of sersice, or the plaintiff
will take Judgment against you for twenty dol
lars, and eight cents, with interest at seven
per cent per annum from Nov. lat 1888, besides
coats.
Dated at Ysnktoa, Dakota. this 9th day of
FRENCH Il SMITH. Plaintiffs Attorneys.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
The Edltorial Nina az work.

A Boston paper suggests that steeples
be constructed with hinges at the base,
81 that they car turn them down for
painting. Another brilliant architect
ural idea would be to have rope and
tackle suspended over theatres, so that
when a fire broke out during a perform
ance the house could be lifted six or
eight feet and permit the audience to
exit in all directions. OF course, the.
floor should not be drawn up at the same
time. -NorTistown Herald,
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
Their Business Booming.

Probably no one thing has caused such
q general revival of trade at Iurdy g.
Brecht's Drug Store as their giving away TO
their customers of SO many free trial
Bottles OF DR.. Kings New Discovery for
Consumption. Their trade is simply
enormous in this very valuable article from
the fact that it always cures and never
disappoints. Coughs, Colds, Asthma,
Bronchitis. Group, and all throat and lung
diseases quickly cured. You can test it be-
fore buying by getting a trial bottle free,
large size ST.. Every bottle warranted.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
~peruuisites at the Austriau Court.

Nothing except the linen, p Aate, china
and glass is ever served twice at the
tables Of the Austrian court, Some of
the servants have as their p~erquisites the
bottles which have come up to the dining
room but have not been uncorked; others
the uncorked bottles. and others again
the wine that reraains In the glasses.
Therefore it is the interest. of one set; of
servants to keep tho glasses full; Of
another set to draw as many corks as
possible while parting with as little wine
as they can. and of o third set to draw
eorks sparingiy. As regards the food,
too. there are different orders Of claim
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
WHAT U s MlRTHa

Sydney Smiths Answer to This Query, with
Some Clear Illustrations.
Sydney Smith gave the true answer
when he said that the form of mental
pleasure we call mirth was due to the dis.
coyery ola congruity in a seeming incon-
gruity or the reverse. This is best illus
trated by an example. Boilesa he'd q
brother who was q mauyais sEjet, failed
in life and came to ask for help. Boileau
upbrajded him with his misconduct,
pointed out how they had both started in
life under equally favorable conditions
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21

One remarkable result of a tidal wave
in the province of Bamam, Java, has
been a great increase of tigers. The lard
laid waste soon relapsed into a jungle,
affording q welcome cover to the tigers.
which became $ % daring and numerous
that whole villages have had to be
abandoned.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
RuoA1e,,,a Ara,ae;u aalpe

The best salYe il the world for Cats,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rhsuro. Feve,
Sores, letter. Chapped Hands. Chilblair
COINS, and all Skin Eruptions, and pos.
isively cafes Piles, or no pay required. L
ia guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction, o,
money rsfur. I'd. Price 25 cents per boz
For Bale by the Excslaicr Drug Store Of
purdv q nyaahs
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21

The late William Woolsey, of Ear
ford county, Md, was a philanthropist
with ideas of his own. He has left
nearly 500, 900 to be expended on GER
tain designated roads in that county pro-
vided the county commissioners spend
an equal sum- on them.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
%.ser1nnny,s Demand.

BERLIN, Feb. ao.-The Cologne Ga
zette says Germany demands that the
United States government arrest and
punish Correspondent Klein for his ac.
lions in Samoa.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
a Brohen Nose. a rracfnred .Inw.

LONDON, Feb. 20.--A glove fight for
e100 a side took place between3two we'll
known pugilists, Hayes and Pritchard.
Hayes sustained a broken nose and a
fractured jaw and finally succubmed. At
this point his friends broke into the
ring and a general fight ens,led. in
which several persons were seriously
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
peFreNcinct Called.

PARIS. Feb, 20.-It is reported that NJ.
DeFreycinet has baep approached with
a request from the president that he
form a cabinet. NJ. DeFreycinct is said
TO have replied that he would answer
to-day.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
The Efnel Tower.

PARIS, Feb 90 The Eiifel tower has
reached an altitude of $50 metres (935
feet and viii be completed within a
fortnight.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21

Snowflakes are said to be the result Of
low lying air currents whose tempsra
lures were much lower than those of the
earth's surface.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21

Wooden gloves in dark, solid colors
and fancy mixtures, bave almost entirely
superceded white Ring woods. They are
cheaper, keep cleaner and are just ae
warm.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21

New ralamas ordered out by New
York importers are in zephyr "a cobwed
sort OF WOODEN goode), spun sllk, and 8
new flannel which 10 eimost as delicate
as silk,
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21

Too we'll known to need lengthy adj
craftsmanship. Snge's Oatarrh
Remedy.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21

Charcoal ground to powder will be
found to be a very good thing for pol
tshing knives.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
BETTING on DEATH.

AT Whites coffee house, where. dr.
ing the last century, gaming was carried
on U heaVy amounts, a book was always
laid upon the table for entering wapers
and in these betting books, some Of
which still exist, may be found bets on
all conceivable subjects: on marriages,
births, deaths; on the duration of a min
lstry, on the chance of an election. onsa
rascaIs risk of the halter or the shock of
an earthquake.
Walpole, writing to Sir Horace Mann.
Sept. /, 1850, says:'They have put into
the papers a good story made at Whites.
A man dropped down dead at The door
and wa carried in. The club imnledi-
ately made bets whether he was dead or
not; and when they were going to bleed
him the wagerers for his death inter
posed, and said it would affect the fair
ness of the bet"
Certain it is that during this period no
subject appears to have been too serious
for a bet; and that nothing was consid-
cred too trivial q medium, the following
lines, founded on fact, bear witness:
The Bucks had dined, and deep in council sat:
1neir WINE was prilllapt, but their wit grew fiat.
Upstairs his lordship-tot the. window flies,
And lol "a raccl n racei" In rapture cries.
"Wheret" quoth Sir John-"Why, see two drops
of rain
Start from the summit of the crystal pane;
A thousand pounds which drop, with nimblest
force,
Performs Its current down the slipp'ry course
The'bets were made; In dire suspense they wait
Fo.yfctory, pendant on the nod OF, Fate.
Now down the sash, unconscious of the prize,
The bubbles roll, like pearls from Chloe's eyes,
But, all the g~littring joys of life are short;
How oft two jostling steeds have spoiled the
sporti
So, thus attraction, by coercive laws,
Th'approaching drops into one bubble draws.
Each cursed his fate that thus their project
crossed,
How hard their lot. who neither won nor lostl
Chambers Journal.
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21
CURIOUS WAGERS.
EXAMPLES OF FOOLS ARGUMENTS"
OUT OF THE MuSTY PAST.

Men Who Made Shows of Themselves to
Result of Triaing AHrairs-A Race Be.
tween Drops of Water.
1t has been remarked that "a collec-
ton of foolish .wagers would make a
yoluminous work; and SO odd are some of
these fools arguments" as Butler pith-
lily terms them in his "Hudibras," that a
selection of some of the most curious
may prove not uninteresting.
During the last century, when, par
ticularly in club life, the least difference
of opinion frequently ended in a bet,
many remarkable and. eccentric wager
were made.
In 1929 a poulterer of Leadenhall
market betted $50 he would walk 202
times round the area of Upper Moor.
fields in twenty-seven hours; and accord
ingly proceeded at the rate of five miles
an hour on the amusing pursuit, ''to the
infinite improvement of his business and
great %edification of hundreds of specta-
tors"
To characterize the follies of the day
it will be necessary to add to the account
of the walking man another of a hopping
man, who engaged, in December, 1881,
to hop 500 yards in fifty hops in st.
James park. He performed the feat in
forty-six.
TRIALS OF SPEED.
In February, ITO, a bet was laid by a
noh1n orl fln{ 1n rLN,,ll GA .. ~
would ride to Edinburgh and back again
to London in less time than another
noble earl should make a million dots in
the most expeditions manner he could
contrive.
In September, 1889, a Col. Ross set out
from London for York, on a wager with
a Mr.. Pigot of 800 g%uineas that he
reached his destination in forty-eight
hours on the same horse. He performed
the journey three hours within the time.
On the 18th of May, 1917, a respect
able farmer of Kirton-Lindsey, for a
wager of a few pounds, undertook to
ride a pony up two pair of stairs into q
chamber of the George inn and down
again, which feat he actually performed
before a numerous company, whose as
constituent was heightened by the rider
being upward of eleven stone weight and
his horse less than thirty stone. They
were weighed after the feat, to decide
another wager.
In The Annual Register for 1888 we
find the following: "a young Irish gen
tleman, for q very considerable wager,
set out on Monday, Sept. 90, to walk to
Constantinople and back again in one
year. 1t is said that the young gentle
man has 100000 depending on the per-
formance of the exploit"
The Earl of March, on laying a bet
thai he would cause a message to be dis
patched a certain distance quicker chan
any horse could convey it, won his wager
by inclosing the message in a cricket
ball, Which was thrown from hand TO
hand by relays of professional cricket
ers. As Duke of Queensberry, he betted
i,tH5a guiiiess that he would produce a
man who would eat more at a meal than,
any n whom Sir John Lade could find.
The duke was informed of his success
not being present at the achievement
by the following bulletin from the field
of battle: 'My lord, l have not time to
state particulars, but merely to acouaint
your grace that your man beat his antag-
onist by an apple pie"
BETTING ON DEATH,
AT Wbita'o ooEpao bo,
Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1889-02-21

To characterize the follies of the day
it will be necessary to add to the account
of the walking man another of a hopping
man, who engaged, in December, 1871,
to hop 500 yards in fifty hops in st.
James park. He performed the feat in
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-04-13
Those 0'd.Fa>hi0ncd Families.

1t was those large families of chill
Grcn, those cold houses to live and
work in, those damp cellars foil OF
vegetables, which laid 30 mtny third
and fourth wives in the cold ceme-
teries, to say nothing of the short
lived first and second partners When
some grumbler tells us of the good
old fashioned families and the smart
" omen OF his fathers or grandfather $
time, we feel like telling him that the
bondage of those days was something
to shudder at, not to take pride in, and
that the women of to-day may lay IL
good per cent. of the physical disabili-
ties they have to those same smart
foremothers. With due respect to his
ancestors, if they could be materialized
he would find them much less con
genial companions than the bright
women of to-day, who are planning
hoping, and working to have their
daughters be..er than themselves.
physically, as we'll as in cry other
way, and one more nearer to the ideal
woman. -Ner England Farmer.