Morning journal and courier., 1889-03-25
UNEXPECTED.

There are many unexpected occurrences in life, but they do not lie in the direction of surprise parties.-Boston Gazette.
 Mrs. Backbay-"Were you at the Mar riage of Figaro the other evening"" Mrs. Newcash-''No, mann! Iwasn't invited. "- Lowell Citizen.
 Fibber-It's wonder your wife let's you out at night.
 Bibber-Not at all; the wonder is that she let's me in.-Town Topics.
 If the envious Casca cauld be here to see the rents made on some of the Avenue win- dows for inauguration he would go out of the real estate business. Washington Post. Dick-Esquimaux should be considered the cream of the worlds fashionable elite Stick-Why?
 Dick-They move in the highest circles.- | Town Topics.
 A despatch says that there is no truth in \ the report that Mir. Plankington will retire l from the St. Paul directory. In St. Paul l they would lynch man for retiring from | the directory as lodging the census- taker. Detroit Free Press
 In no hurry.-Little girl-''If I should die and go to heaven would I have wings" Mamma-''Yes, my pet, and crown and a harp" Little girl-"And candya" Mamma i-"No-o." Little girl (after meditation)- "Well, I'm glad we've got good doctor. ."- Philadelphia Record.
 Hotel proprietor-"What is the matter with that sick gentleman in my ofiees' Physician-"Jim-jsms." "Sir, that gentle man is one of my oldest guests, and has the l most expensive apartments in my house. J "Ohi He is suffering from nervous proatra- tion. n."-Philadelphia Record.
 He-"You're always growing about the lodge." She-'Oh, mol The lodge is well enough" He-"Well, my late hours then" She-'I don't care about that even; but it does annoy me to get up to let you in and find the milkmSn at the door. It's rather embarrassing. g.-Lowell Citizen.
 Winks-"How often do youc hange your boarding house now, Jenksa" Jenks-"I never change ct all." Winks-"You don't. Perfectly comfortable, eh2" Jenks-"No, mighty uncomfortable; but I've changed often enough to know I never gain anything by changing.-New York Weekly.
 Caller 0o fond mother)-''Isn't it some- what remarkable and wonderful, Mrs. Hob son, that your little boy Frank, though eight years old, can neither read nor writea' Fond Mother-"Oh yes, think so. The dear lit tie fellow always was a remarkable and wonderful ohild."-Harper's Magazine.
 Way Beyond It-"My friends and fellow oitizens," began the impassioned orator, "the gentleman whom We are about to nom "Sure, that's what he isl" shouted op- posing voter "What we've got ag'in him Is all facts. ."-The Late Philip Welch, in Har- per's Magazine for April.
 What Our Artist has to Put Up With.- He-"By love, it's the best thing I've ever painted and I'll tell you what, I've good mind to give it to Mary Morrison for her wedding present." His wifey-"oh, but, my love, the Morisons have always been so hospitable to us You ought to give her 8 real present, you know fan, or a scent bottle, or something of that sortl"-Punch.
 "Miss Doddleton," said a young man, 'did you read the poem that sent youa"
 "Yes," replied the young lady, rather lan- guidly.
 "How did you like ita''
 F'I had only one fault to find with it." 1 "What was that?h
 'It was little bit too long-there were just about two verses too many"
 And the youth sat down in the corner l and sadly remembered that there were only two verses to the composition. n.-Merchant Traveller.