davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-05-02
Iwo PrIsanars Escana.

TIoNEsTA, PA, April 25 Two men, inn
prisonsd hero, for selling liquor without q
license. locked the sheriff In call aud o..
capped. ys
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-05-02
No Adulteratj0n.

SPRINGFIELD, ILL.,, April 28.--The Sen.
ate pissed bill prohibiting tho aduitera.
tion OF butter, cheese and other articles Of
fool.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1889-05-02
Historian Spoflord paad.

RUTLAND, VI, April 27.-H. B. Spofford,
the historian OF Clarendon, died yester.
day. He was a well-known historical
writer and poet of m ore than ordinary
ability
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09
He Carried the Basket.

L.
A lady who lives IN the suburbs of
Tacoma, w. T., was down in the
city recently buying and marketing.
She had large basket full and was
going to the corner of Ninth street
ana ot. Heien's avenue for the pur-
pose of taking the moter line for her
home. She had a petite and rather
youthful figure, but is about fifty
years of age and has been a widow
tor decade. A dapper young man,
who was also "masher," saw her
and approaching, asked if he might
not help her home with her basket.
Now this widow hates dapper young
men and especially mashcrs; there.
fore she told the young man he might
see her home and carry her basket.
lie thought he had made an immense
hit, and he also thought in the dim
light that the widow was beautiful
young lady. The widow trans
ferred her basket to the dapper young
mans arm and relinquished her idea
of riding home in the horse cars, in
order that she might have bushel
basket of fun, she started with her
escort for a walk of about fifteen
lifesize, full-length squares. The
basket got frIghtfully heavy in about
five blocks; in ten it was a huge
white elephant, and by the time the
two reached the lady's residence it
was one of the pyramids of Egypt,
and the dapper young man was badly
blown and altogether broken up.
The widow rang the bell at the door
and grown young lady came, ask
ing: why, ma, what did you ring
the bell for? The door was not
locked" The dapper young man
almost tainted, and when the widow
SAID: "Won't you come in, sir2 My
husband would be very glad to see
ycu," he was paralyzed. But he re.
covered quickly and went away from
there, and that widow has been hav-
ing convulsive fits of laughter ever
since, iu which she is ably seconded
by her daughter and the remainder
of the family. The masher has been
taking iron and quIuine ever since to
build up his strength.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

The Day to Give Thanks.
WASHINGTON, Nov. 2.-The fol-
loving Thanksgiving proclamation
has been issued by the President of
the United States:
A PROCLAMATION.
GA highly favored people, mindful
of their dependence upon the bounty
of the Divine Providence, should
seek fitting occasion to testify
their gratitude and ascribe all praise
to Him who is the author of their
many blessings. 1t behooves them
to look back with thankful hearts
over the past year and bless God for
his infinite mercy in his blessings to
our land, for the enduring peace
among our people, for their FREEDOM
from pestilence and famine, for our
husbandmen abundant harvests and
20 them that labor a recompense for
their toll.
"Now, therefore, Benjamin Har-
rlson, President Of the United States
of America, do earnertly recommend
that Thursday, the twenty-eighth day
of this present month of November,
be set apart as a day Of national
thanksgiving and prayer, and that
the people of our country, ceasing
from the cares and labors of their
working day, shall assemble in their
respective places of worship and give
thanks to God, who has prospered
us in our way and make our paths
the paths of peace; beseeching him
to bless the day to our present and
future good. making it truly one of
thanksgiving for each reunited home
circle and as a nation at large.
SIN witness thereof have hereun-
to set my hand and seal and caused
the seal of the United States to be
affixed. BENJAMIN HARRISON"
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

"For forty long years have my
good old wife and me travelled hand
in hand down lrfe's thorny road"
said old Deacon Gush at an apple.
pairing party the other evening, sand
in all the long years not one single
harsh, hasty, unkind word has passed
our lips when speaking to each other.
Isn't that true, mother?
Mother had quietly fallen to sleep
on the sofa by Mr.. Gush's side, and
as he LAID his hand carelessly on her
shoulder she gave little snort of de.
hance, and said sharply: "Get up
yourself and build the fire, Sam Gush.
L built it last, and I'll see you in
Guinea before I'll build it this MORN
ing, you-oh-oh-I-why, where
am L? l guess l dropped off to sleep.'
"And l guess you'd better have
stayed asleep, Lizzie Gush," Kissed
Samuel into her ear as the crowd
around the safa made rush for the
door and dark corners where gig
Cling and titiering could be indulged
in freely.-Ex.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09
Free Reclining-chair oars
TO Pueblo. Colorado
Springs and Denver.

The ''Santa Fe Route" is now run
ming free reclinlng-chair cars be-
tween Kansas City and Denver on
daily trains leaving Kansas City at
1920 a. M, and Denver at 1870 p.
IN. These cars are entirely new, and
have been built expressly for this
train, are fitted with all the modern
appliances for both conveniences and
safety, and are unequaled by any
cars run between these points here
tofore. No line can offer you better
accommodations than the old reliable
"Santa Fe Route"
For any information desired re-
garding rates, through car accommo-
dations, time of arrival and departure
of trains, Sc, call on any agent of
the Santa Fe, or address.
GEO. L. NICHOLSON,
G.. s T. A., A. T.. S. F.R. r.,
ToPEKA, KANSAS.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

Just at present a number of papers
that have "fopped'' from the demo-
cratic into the republican camp, are
busy publishing fulsome laudatory
articles on Senators Teller and VOL
cott-and land Office officials-and
sending the abused gentlemen mark
ed copies containing the game. Fun:
ny, but true.-Rockey Ford Water
melon.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

An inventor has patented an cleo
trio contribution-box for church use,
says the Chicago Herald. Whenever
a button or piece of tin is deposited
in the box an electric bell rings and
informs the congregation of the fact.
Don't introduce it in Las Vegas
please don't! Think of the hearts
the newfangled contrivance might
cause to ache-unnecessarily, tool
Las Vegas Optic.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09
When Marriage is a Eail-
ur9,

When either of the parties marries
for money.
When the lord of creation paws
more for cigars than bis better half
does for hosiery, boots and bonnets.
When one of the parties engages
IN business that is not approve by
the other.
When both parties persist in argu-
ing over subject upon which they
never have thought and never can
think alike.
When neither husband nor wife
takes vacation.
When the vacations are taken on
one side of the house only.
When man attempts to tell his
wife what style of bonnet she mus.
wear.
When mans Christmas presents
to his wife consist OF boojacks, shirts
and gloves for himself.
When children are obliged to
clamor for their rights.
When the watchword is: "Each
for himself"
When dinner Is not ready a. dinner
time.
When she" snores the loudest
while "she" kindles the fire.
When the '.father" takes hale the
pie and leaves the other half for the
one that made it and her eight chill
dren.
When the children are given the
neck and back of the chicken.
When the money that should go
tor book goes for what only one
side of the house knows anything
about.
When politeness, fine manners
and kindly attentions are reserved
for company or visits abroad.-
Springfield Union.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09
AN EXQUISITE ENGRAVING.
Gateway to the Garden of the Gods, Colorado
with view of Pixies Peak in the Middle
Distance.


A very costly and elegant steel
plate engraving has just been exc
cuted in the highest style of the art.
copies of which from q limited sup
ply, are now ready for delivery, and
will be sent to any part of the world
on receipt of 25 cents each, In stamps
or coin. The noble grandeur of the
entrance" to the "Garden of the
Gods" is the favorite theme of poet
and painter. The outer parapets are
of pure white, while the interior col
umns spring boldly from the plain
to a height of $50 feet-the whole
suggesting the ruins of vast temple.
These towering walls from majestic
frame work for the snow capped
summit of Pixies Peak which reveals
itself among the clouds in the far
distance. To secure an early copy
of this admirable work of art, address
JOHN SEBASTIAN, Gen. Tk't & Pass.
Agent, CHICAGO, Rock ISLAND d
PACIFIC RY. enclosing the price, 25
cents.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09
2ltf.

Hon. G. D. Ford, was at his home
in Monument over Sunday. He is
taking an active part IN the prepara-
tons for Potato Day, as he does in
all enterprises of public character.
He is one of the ablest and most
worthy gentleman in the state, and
his appointment as Register of the
U. $. Land Office at Lamar was a
wise one.-Palmer Lake Herald.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09
ITEMS OF interest.

1t is well established fact that no
railroad in this country has finer
equipment in all of lis branches than
the Wabash Line. 1t is always in
the van in any improvement. It's
sleeping cars are the most perfect
travelling conveyauces known. The
seats have heecn wIlened and fitted
with high cushioned backs making
them as comfortable as an easy char.
And Just think of it, electric bells by
which the porter can he summoned
at any hour. Then on the lines be
tween St. Louis and Chicago, ST.
Louis and Kansas City and Chicago
and Detroit are run the popular But
fet Boudoir or Compartment Sleep
ing car which instead of the ordinary
berths, are divided in state rooms
the doors of which can be closed and
locked, offordlng passengers all the
privacy of their own homes. Superb
ly finished they are the easiest riding
ears known, and no geater charge foi
berths than in regular sleeping cars
Dining cars par-excellence, none
better anywhere and equal to any
first-class hotel In the land. Chaii
cars seats free, of the latest and most
approved patterns. Through sleep
ers between Denver and ST LOUIS
Chicago ard St. Louis, st. LOUIS and
Toledo, Chicago and Quincy, Chica
90 and Detroit, Kansas City and
Chicago, solid vestibuled trains first
class in all their appointments and
always on time.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

''Is your father coming to church
this morning. Henry?" asked the
minister of small boy whom he met
in the street. 81 guess So" replied
Henry, somebody stole fishing tackle
last night, and l heard him tell ma
at the breakfast table this morning
that his fun for to-day was spoiled,
and he sposed be might as well go
to church.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

Mr.. J. S. Porter, started to Dundee
Michigan on Tuesday evening, in re-
sponse to telegram announcing the
serious illness of his father-in-law.
He expects to be absent till spring.
jim is one of our best and most re-
spected men. He leaves Palmer
Lake with the good will of every
body.-Palmer Lake Herald.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

We extract the following from the
last issue of the Arizona Kicker:
We Are Left-For the last four
weeks our friends have been eagerly
pressing US to take the nomination
for mayor on the peoples ticket.
We do not crave Office, and are a
very busy man, but the pressure be-
came so great we had TO give in.
Last Tuesday evening the city eau
Gus was held. and instead of being
nominated for mayor we received
only three votes out of upward of
sixty cast. Our friends were mis-.
taken when they insisted that we
were wanted. Instead of being the
unanimous choice of the patriotic
people, we had the pleasure of seeing
Jerry Baxter, the meanest man in
town, given the nomination.
o, well, that's human nature right
through, and an editor fool enough
to go IN politics deserves to be driven
head first into the tanbark as we
were. We have word to say how
ever: The Kicker will not only boil,
every candidate on the ticket. but
We guarantee to have nlne-tenths
OF the nominees in prison before
they are month Older VenI cum
GRAMS, which is Latin for saying:
Don't monkey with newspaper.
A Base Falsehooj.- have as
certained that it was Colonel Kehoe
who started the story that we had
the proprietor of the Red Star saloon
lynched hy mob last week in order
TO avoid paying him liquor bill of
SIS. We encountered the colonel in
Davis livery barn yesterday, grab
bed him by the threat and backed
him against the heels of stage mule,
aud between Us aud the mule the
colonel received a druLbing which
will last him a lifetime. He ac.
knowledged that he was liar, slam
derer and thief. and that his course
towards Us was actuated by personal
spite. At that moment lie had on
our second best uldershirt, our Sun
day necktie and the pantaloons that
we never wear except on holidays,
aud was in debt to US for many other
favurs,
As to the lynching, we suggested
i because Tim O'Niel. the victim,
had fallen into the habit of killing
man about seven times week, and
there was every reason to believe
that the coroner was stauting in with
him on fres We should have sug-
gested stretching the coroner's neck
a little at the same time, but as he
brought us IN club ot thirteen sub
scribers We didu't think 1t would
look exactly right
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

a switch left open. here, by the
section men, Tuesday afternoon,
caused through special to run on
the house track and into a stock car
near the depot. What might have
been very serious affair resulted in
only smashed car, a crippled loco
motive and one side of Mrs. Cham
bers' coal house badly splintered.
The train was loaded with cattle
Chivington Chief.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

A Ralnbelt merchant had chance
the other day to find the first cause
of an-accident which happened in his
store. A rattlesnake frightened a
cat, that scared hen, that knocked
a jar of jam from shelf, which hit
the faucet of barrel of molases
which turned the faucet, causing the
loss of barrel of molases. But the
man who sends a boy who orders
goods which nourlshes the BODY
which supports the man who never
intends to pay for what he received
Is often more expensive than this rat
tlesnake.-Field and Farm.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

The regular quarterly examination
of teachers for certificates. will be
held in Lamar on Friday and Satur-
day November goth and 3oth, 1889.
Teachers holding temporary certifi-
Gates will appear at that time for a
complete examination as required by
law. +. E. IRWIN,
2ltf. Co. Supt.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

An auction sale commences at Fort
Lyon on Nov. IL, at which great
many supplies and accoutrements
will be sold to the highest bidder.
The sale will last till everything is
disposed ola Junta Tribune.
The Lamar register., 1889-11-09

81 ss a RS
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-01
Very Aged Negroes.
From the Washington Post.

FROM Lee w oSNtnGtOn POSt.
The writer once Travelled through a portion
OF the south ia company With party of gen
llemen, who may be more or less responsible
tor the extraordinary longevity of some of the
tSnorant coiored persons of those parts One
lay the party was waiting for a boat at lack
sonville, Fla, when the Joker of the eroup
addressed an aged colored man standing near:
How old are you, uncle?"
Deed, doan know, sah."
Pretty old, aren your"
Iaas, sab; spec is"
The joker eyed him critically and said:
-, heiieYe you are the oldest man in the
world" WIG
las manlfestly pleased the old man.
lay be is" he said. Use pretty OLE"
Would you like to know how old you are,
uncle?''
"'Dee1 would"
well, let me see your elbow"
The cd maa labJrously removed his battered
coat AMI drew up bis shirtsleeve. The Joker
felt of the elbow, looked it over carefully, made
one me, ng1res on pr c. Of paper, and said:
The elbow indications are that you are 1903
years Old Let me see your knee"
The Old map pulled up his loose trousers leg,
and another examination was made.
~ our knee indicates that YOU are 101" said
the joker, so by 10th your elbow and your
zee find that you are 2I0 years oId''
Yeas, sab," said the old man, II spscted I
was erbout Two hun'ud an ten. " and it is known
10 the writer that three years later the old man
persisted ia the belief that he was still 2f0 years
old
ine party let no old colored person escape;
and before that winters travels were completed
hs so ~ was pretty densey populated with
men and women ranging from l3j to 400 years
OF age. Oae Old CO ored woman in Tennessee,
who remembered Gen. Jackson, was actually
made to believe that she was over 200 when
Jackson died, and that Jackson had been dead
almost l0J years.
1t seems to please these people to be given the
distinction of extreme age, and they hold with
amusing tenacity to the most absurd beliefs
about the years they have lived. IL is, there
fore, hardly safe to base scientific conclusions
on Information coming from hem.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-01
BRIGHT BITS.

JUST at present this seems to be a government
OF the Hatrisohs by the HarrisJns and for the
HarFisons.-Pstek
TEAcHER-When was New Hampshire settled?
Pupii-Pfestse ma'am, it has never been
ssttied There's a landslide most every day.
START ALEcK-Sea here boyi Where did you
c1Lcl at big string of Ash?
Small -Boy-t keJchsd al Of these by their
slls.-Bost0n Herald
IT is easy enough to bring up a child in the
right way. All you have t. do is to watch the
way IN which most people bring up their chill
Journal
-.uDe-That dog of mine is a dandy. You
ought to see him sometimes. Weally-aw-I be-
Aeve ne has mere sense than l have.
Old Cfaotres-And that amt saying much,
either erGs SiftingS
PHYsIcIAN-You see your son is feverisb.
madam. Notice the coating Oh h S tonguel
Mrs. Anxious I don't see any coating on his
tongue, but see an ulster in his throat add his
pants are dreadfr!!y olo,c.-GTs.e Epoch.
MANAGER- What do you want, Mr.. WauksrakY
ar ". want you raise my salary.
M.-Oh that's all right, Mr. Nauktrak: I'll
DO that willingly. was afraid you were going
TO ask fol- some cash down, Yankee Blade.
WoaLD BE PURcaAsEa-How much for this
Artist The price is $1,000
your work as if you had been dead 400 or 500
years. Te1dS Sfiings.
BANE CASHIER Throwing himself into bar
beard $500 Ivy '1'''' y" '1-s
~tosr backing off, guess not sir! amt
* Ing 70 have hem take me " for an aces
sorry after you've got safe into Canada. Boston
lte, lld.
3"CaANoE of climate Is What you need. " said
the iSh-priced pay slcian after he had listened
70 the details of tie PATIENTS case.
Change of climate Y, exclaimed the patient
Inything Else. I've lived rlgnt here in New Eng
land ait0yffe-7c hristlqa heg5ster.
Two welI-known clergymen lately missed
their train. upon which one of them took out
Ms watch. and finding ito blame for the mis-
INIT g -. -''''
f faith, but of wosks;"-LiUin0 Church.
a SYLLABLE SLIP-Dr. Carpenter was noted
or the quickuess of his Wit, and it was a common
saying in the town in which he lived tlat he al
ways had an ans wer ready when it was relu! red
He was Que Introduced as DIR. Carter" I'm
nediately MS friend saw his error, and corrected
hims Ii. Never mud, said the DOCTOR its
only slip OF the pen. - HarDer's Magazine,
Ma GoNEAwAY-I want sportsmans knife:
good one; I'm going into the woods for
weeks fishing.
Dealer-Here's just what you want, sir :;
pOEhoI NH C. tpuNculcut siDoS SOOQ steel, Tour
JiadeS and corkscrew.
MIR. Goneaway isn't exactly it; gimme
one with four corkscrews and bade.-Bur-
aette
SAND what do you think of this picture-it is
my lat t!''
II huow nothing about art am not a critic
or even judge Of painting"
But let me nave your opinion"
We'll. l should say it was superb, superb.
superb"
;Ah,there, my friend, you see you are an
excellent judge. Boston Journal
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-01

1t is said that electric executions will be
painless. Henry Fault, an electric light
employee in Virginia City, New, is AUTHORITY
for the statement, and he ought TO know,
for he cams very near losing his life by an
electric shock the other day. After receiv-
ing the shock he was unconscious for fifteen
minutes A reporter thus gives Faults ex-
perience: After grasping the wire he was
Immediately drawn upward with ire iisti-
bic fo, CO a d endeavored to shout for aid,
but, although another workman was but
feet distant, his voice was not audible.
Although suspended by his hands with his
toes resting on the b }iler plate floor for
scarcely a seconl, Fault says it appeared
to him that he was in that position several
minutes. He felt no pain whatever This
is the last he remembers until restored to
consciousness.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-01
Kemmler's Executlon.

The public is interested in the coming ex-
ecution of the Brooklyn murderer, Kemm-
Ter, chiefly because it win be the first legal
execution Of a human being by electricity
i this country. Many people have been
accidentally killed by electricity, but Now
York is the first, and, thus far the only
state to provide that the death penalty
shall be executed by electricity instead of
b hanging. It remains to be seen whether
or not the new method will be all that is
claimed for it, but the prob ability is that it
will. There is a possibility that tle shock
will not be efficient to cause death, or at
it will be so rong as to make the execu-
cution very repusive, but no doubt
either possibility will be carefully guarded
az inst.
Tie public interest, however, is not con-
fined to the success or failure of the new
method. Under the law the exec 1tion
must be private. Only few officers of the
law and relatives of the conde nned man
will be- allowed to be present, and the pub
location of the particulars is prohibited, the
only mention of the event allowable being
q 81 nple statement that the criminal was
executed at certain time aud place. Some
months ago the leading journalists of Ne W
York gave their views concerning this
clause of the law, and good many
of them said that they would
disregard it and incur the penalty No
doubt they meant what they said, but they
may change their mild 1t is pretty safe
to say, however, that some of them will
give full accounts Of the execution. They
would probably be willing to pay con-
siderable fine for doing so, and to take the
risk of Imprisonment. Kemmler will be
executed in June.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-06-01
The Set ling Up Is Certain.

From the Chicago later Ocean.
You may take the world as it comes and goes
And you will be sure to find
That fate will square the account she owes,
Whoever comes out behind.
And all things bal that q man has done.
BY whatsoever induced,
Return at last to him, one by one.
AS the chickens come home to roost.
You may scrape and toll and pinch and save
While your boarded wealth expands,
Till the cold. dark shadow OF the grave
Is nearing your life's last sands;
You VIII nave your balances struck some night
And you'll find your hoard reduced,
Yo1'H vlaw your life in another light,
When the chickens come home to roost.
Yo' an stint your soul ami starve your heart
With the husks of a barren creed,
SUI ". =, Ndr.ot 81 Anow II you pay a part,
VIII know in your hour n ed;
And then as 'ou wait for death to come
WHAT hope can their be deduced
trom creed You will lie there dumb
While your thickens come home to roost,
Sow as you will, there's time to reap,
For the good and the bad as we'll,
And conscience, whether we wake or sleep
Is either heaven or hell
ma every wro & will find its place,
And every passion looSed,
DIltG back and meet you face to face,
When the chickens come home to roost.
Whether you're over or under the sod,
Tue result will De the same;
You cannot escape t q hands of God:
lou must bear your sin or shame
No matter what's carved on the marble slab.
When the items are all produced,
foull find that st. Peter was keeping tab
ana mat chickens come home 10 roost