The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-12-19
BRIGHT BITS.

BANKS is a very popular fellow. isn't he?"
II should say so. He'd lend his last cent to a
friend in need"
But thought he was poor"
80 he is; that's the reason. '-Nel0 York
sun.
MAUD-And 50 you are going to marry Charlie
Demare. 1t was only month ago that 1 heard
you say you positively hated him.
Believes, know. but that was when he was
going with that horrid Jenkins girl.-Kedrney
Enterprise.
KATE FIELD SAYS: 81 believe that men and
women are eternally alike and eternally I'M
like Yes; just see man sneak down the
alley when he gets into new suit, while a
woman takes the best side of the street.-SGn
Francisco Alta.
AMYmYou were entirely alone, weren't you,
Dolley-Yes, Miss Amy until you came 1 was
alone with my thoughts.
Amy-That's what said. You were entirely
alone.-Net0 York sun,
MRS WArTs-slr. Watts and make It a rule
never to quarrel before the children. If we have
any argument with each other we always send
them out of the room.
Mrs. Potts--I have often wondered why your
children were out on the street so much more
than other people .-Terre Hdute Express
YOUNG LADY asked an editor this extraor-
binary question: DO you think II right for
girl to sit upon young man s lap, even if she is
engaged?" Whereupoa the editor told this ex-
traordinary lie: I'VE have no experience in the
matter referred to- Why didn't he say: IF it
was our girl and our lap yes; if it was another
girl and our lap. yes; but if it was our girl and
another fellows lap, neveri never! never!'-
Neio MtsStsSfDptGn.
you ARE not going to stay down town late
tonight, are you, john"
Not very late, Maria / have to help to put
a man through the third degree at the lodge.
I'll come straight home soon as it is over"
Kindly but firmly If you can repeat the
when you return home from the lodge, John,
the outside guardian will admit you, and if you
can't you needn't ring any alarm at the outer
door. You'll stay on the outside all night, my
dear"
John came home early.-MontrenL Star.
WHERE IT WOULD BE BooN.-Quevedo-I
ten you, capital punishment is a relic of bar
barism, and ought to be abolished in a pro-
gressive and enlightened country like this.
Curtis-It ought, eh?
Quevedo-Yes, indeed. Painful or painless,
it ought to be done away with entirely.
Curtis (and there was steely glitter in his
eye and a cold, rasping tone IN his voice(-Did
you ever sit next to q man in the theater who
continually kept digging his elbows into your
ribs every time he imagined he heard some
thing funny on the stage? Did you?
land Quevedo bowed his head in silence y
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Cor USED TO IT.--'Can use your telephone a
minute?" she asked, as she ran into a neighbor' s
on Second avenue, with shawl over her head.
90 certainly"
I'm going to give party next week and I
want to invite few friends"
''Yes?'
1T is to be a very select party"
''Yes?'
'Only my friends"
"Yes?"
And, therefore, you-you won't be-"
Angry if | am not invited, nor won't con-
slider it cheeky If you use my telephone to invite
others? O. no ANY one who keeps q telephone
in the house for use of the neighbors soon gets
used to anything. Why, man came in here
the other day and used the line to call my hus-
band up down town, aud dun him for bill! &c
ahead and call up the sub-office. "-Detroit
Free Press.