The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1889-04-03
A FATAL MISTAKE.
Story OF Everyday Life as II Ma!
Be In the Great Future.
-. A..


Be In the Great Future.
From the Minneapolis Tribune
1t was a fine June morning in the year
1880 when Mr.. DeDggory Biggs, the
Millionaire dealer In coal, came down to
breakfast ut his palatial residence on
Sixty-sixth street and Nicollet avenue.
The price Of coal had declined tenth Of
a cent an ounce. Mr.. Biggs felt keenly
the possibility OF an open winter, and the
unexanplad fall in the price Of COM
modify that had been strong with an up
ward tendency for quarter OF a century
portendod some coming evil OF the kind.
Mr.. Biggs's second cause Of mental dis
turbance was the outrageous behavior OF
the family balloon, with which something
had gone wrong, he knew not what.
Mrs. Biggs had informed him that the
main lever refused to perform IFS function
when she attempted TO navigate the bal
loon TO 81. Paul on a visit to the rural or
phans' home.
Lastly, Mr.. Bggs had been Obliged to
discharge his phonograph expert who
had gone on a roaring drunk, and in his
inebrated state ground out one OF Amclie
Riyes's novels in the presence OF his fam
~ for Sunday evening reading Mr.. Biggs
had advertised for another expert, but he
felt very dubious about getting as good a
man as John, who was n jewel when So
Der, and M he descended the stairs he
shuddered at the possibility Of an enforced
return to the ancient methods OF reading
the newspapers.
The perplexed coal dealer had scarcely
sat down To his breakfast when the door
bell rang. and the servant announced "a
gentleman in the rid parlor would spake
wild YER highness." The servant was Irish.
but had spent some years in the home 81
an English novelist who wrote books
about America.
"Wcll, my man." said Mr.. Biggs, en-
tering the parlor, "what II it?"
you advertised for a phonograph ex-
pert, SIR"
81 did. Are you one2'
al am, sir."
Family or Office practice2"
"Both, sir"
fare you familiar with newspaper read
ing2n
"Ycs. sir, / worked the growl-ihe
photograph, sir, for the Vanderbilt family
Tor three years. Mr.. Vanderbilt was buy
ing the Presidency at the time and the
newspaper comments had 10 DO handled
dclicatcly. gave him complete satisfac-
| ton"
The applicant took pocket photograph
out Of bis coat, inserted a reel and read
several characters" from the Vandcrbiltf
and others that Mr.. Biggs acknowledged
were very ilatlcring.
"lll give YOU n trial, my man." he said,
"but YOU will have 20 be very careful.
Observe these cautions. prefer tue mar
kot page. NV wife likes the social gossip
and my son takes most interest In sport
ing events. Don't read off anything about
cyclones in Dakota; Il makes my wife
neryOus; and take pains 10 skip all ac-
counts OF Bismarck's resignation and the
progress Of tho home.rulc movement In
England; those are chestnuts. We also
take Il for granted In this family that
Gladstone Is clipper and seldom spends
much time listening 10 rumors OF war In
Europe. And, say, look ahead a little and
SEQ what there ia In Cabinet gossip before
springing II upon us | don't care ~ hear
at what hour the Presidents private soc.
Rotary arose aud am perfectly satisfied
whether he wore culaway or sack coat
With these iow cautions YOU may enter
upon your duties"
The expert bowed deIcrcnially aud bc.
van his work. IL progressed very satisiac,
turly, and the Biggs family were In &C.
siacics over his taste. II seemed as though
he would successfully pass through the
Scylla aud Charybdis of Mr.. and Mrs
Bgg's diycrging taste, but nj the last mo
mcnt lac struck rock, also a snag and
nndhlr, nj one bump. Mrs. Birss askc,
Tor pucm ~ a conclusion Of the morn
ings literary exercises. The expert ~
lcricd at random reel and began 4
grind. The lines came slowly.
There D. M hour oi sscrcd onlm, .
GLOW beautiful" murmurcd Mrs. Biggs
When ,orr1w aud oarus lio down 20 rpst
"Diyinc. Il must be Browning" Nh
Biggs exclaimed.
Then 10 your blood doth sluggish run
nls lcIlnthcy's purifier a. the bv&.
u u unnecessary In add that the -.1c-
VAS not engaged.
From the rcnucsrParmer