davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24
He Carried The Basket.

A lady who lives in the suburbs was
down in the city last evening buying
marketing. She had large basket full,
and was going to the corner of Ninth
street and st. Hellen's avenue for the
purpose of taking the motor line for her
home. She has petite and rather youth
full figure, but is about so years of age
and has been q widow for decade. A
danper young man, who was also "a
masher," saw her and, approaching, asked
if he might not help her home with her
basket. Now this widow hates dapper
young men, and especially Washers;
therefore, she told young man he might
see her home and carry her basket. He
thought he had made an immense hit,
and he also thought in the dimlight that
the widow was beautiful young lady.
The widow transferred her basket to the
dapper young man arm, and, relin-
qlishing her idea of riding home in the
horse cars in order that she might have
a large bushel basketful of fun, she start
ed with her escort for walk of about
fifteen ife-size, full-length squares. The
basket got frightfully heavy in about
five blocks in ten it was huge white ele-
plant, and by the time the two reached
the lady's residence it was one of the
pyramids of Egypt, and the dapper young
man was badly blown and altogether
broken up. The widow rang the bell and
grown young lady came; Why, ma,
what did you ring the bell for? The door
was not locked" The dapper young man
almost tainted, and when the widow said
Won't you come in, sir? My husband
will be very glad to see you" he was
paralyzed. But he recovered quickly and
went away from there, and that widow
has been having convulsive fits of laugh
ter ever sinse, inwhich she is ably second
ed by her daughter and the remainder
of her family. The masher has been TAX
ing iron and quinine ever since to build
up his strength. Tacoma Globe.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

fortune Of some of our queens Of 20.
ciety to dance on cotillion with one of
these princely lepers. Some people
cannot get their hats of quick enough
when they see such . foreign lord an.
preaching, and they do not care for the
mire into which they drop their knees az
they bow to worship. Let no splendor
OF pedigree or any pomp and parapher-
MALTA OF circumstance make him attract
i've. There is only one set of Ten Com.
mandments that ever heard of, and no
class OF men or women in all the world
| are excused from obedience to those
laws written by finger of lightning on
the granite surface of Mount Sinai.
Surely We have enough American vices
without making any drafts upon Euro
pean vice for 1892
By this sermon would have the ma
ton made aware of its opportunity and
get ready to improve it, and of some
perils and get ready to combat them. I
rejoice to believe that the advantages
will overtop everything in that worlds
fair. What an introduction to each
other of communities, of States, of re-
publics, of empires, of zones, of hemis-
pheres! What doors of information will
be swung wide open for the boys and
girls now on the Threshold! What ma
tional and international education!
What GROWING of Industry with sheaves
of grain, and what imperial robing of
her with embroidered fabrics! What
scientific apparatus! What telescopes
for the infinitude above and microscopes
for the infinitude beneath, and instru-
ments to put nature to the torture until
she tells her last secret! What display
of the muniicence of the God who has
grown enough wheat to make loaf of
good: bread large enough for the human
race, and enough cotton to stocking
every foot, and enough timberto shelter
every head, making it manifest that it
is not Gods fault, but either mans op-
preston or Incidence or dissipation if
there be any without supply.
Under the arches of the chief build
ing Of that exposition let Capital and
Labor, too long estranged, at last be
married, each taking the hand of each
in pledge of eternal fidelity, which rep
reservations of all patrons stand round
rejoicing at the nuptials, and saying:
What God hath Joined together let not
man put asunder." Then shall the
threnody of the needle woman no longer
be heard:
Work, work, work.
Till the brain begins to swim;
Till the eyes are heavy and dim.
Seam and gusset and band
Band and gusset and seam,
Till over the buttons fall asleep,
And sew them ON in q dream.
o, Christian America! Make ready for
the grandest exposition ever seen under
the sun! Have Bibles enough bound.
Have churches enough established.
Have scientific halls enough endowed.
Have printing presses enough set up.
Have revivals of religion enough in full
blast. believe you will. "Hosanna to
the Son of David! Blessed Is he that
cometh in the name of the Lordl"
Through the harsh voices of our day
low. sweet prelude finds its way;
Through clouds Of doubt and creeds Of fear
A light is breaking calm and clear.
That song of love- now low and far,
Ere long shall swell from star to star;
That light. the breaking day which tips
The golden spired Apocalypse;
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24
A Natter OF Build.

A little girl of this village was CRYING
bitterly the other evening about some
thing that had happened, when her
mother endeavored to soothe her. She
told her to hush" and never mind"
and stop crying" when the little one
answered between her sobs: Il c-can't
mamma, cause amt built that way
Akron Breeze.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Self-respect.-Mistress from the parlor)
Bridget, the front door bell has rung three
times. Why don't you answer it?'
Bridget from the Kitchen: ''Sure mum,
if Oh opened it the furst ring paple wud say
Oh did nothing but tend the door, an Oh
wudnt have any wan think me that lazy
num-"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24
Characteristic.

The ocean steamer was speeding along
when . gigantic iceberg hove in sight.
The passengers crowded the bulwsrks
to see and admire it.
what do you think of that ?" said the
Englishman to the American.
~Wa'al, was the reply, Il should say
there were no flies on it"-BOst0a
Courier.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

What he was.-Masked man (dashing into
parlor car on a western railroa1): "Hold
up your hands"
Passenger: Don't shoot, please. Take
all I've got and welcome"
Masked Man: This Is a big pile o. mo-
ney, SO I'll give ye ten dollars of it back. I
may be train-robber. but amt no par
lOr car porter"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Galveston Tex.) News, October
Certainly there is no more propitious time
for fortune to knock at young mans door.
as the Irishman asserts it does once in the
life of every man, than just after he has
taken unto himself partner to share his
veal and woe in this life. A windfall of a
few thousand of dollars at this period of a
mans life is very often the keystone upon
which he may erect fortune and achieve
success. Among the rare instances of this
kind of recent occurrence, we may mention
the case of Mr.. L. Z. Pearson, a rising
young merchant of Harland. Fort Bend
county, who purchased one-twentieth of
ticket No. &c, 526, which won the second cap
ital prize of S1CO, 900 in the drawing of The
Louisiana State Lottery on Tuesday, Sep
TENDER 10 1889, and as a consequence is to-
day 5000 better of in this worlds goods.
Mr.. Pearson Is the son of Colonel z. Z.
Pearson, of Richmond, one of the most
prominent attorneys of this section, and is
a young man highly esteemed by all his ac-
quaintances. As previously limited, Mr..
Pearson has only recently been married,
and his good fortune is therefore doubly
welcome.
The ticket was cashed through Messrs.
Dyer & Moore, bankers of Richmond.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Fooled Again.-Officer {Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Children)." am
hunting for a family who, am told. are
compelling three-year-old child to learn
the Russian Language"
Resident (Slum COURT: 81 know 'em;
they live in room g."
is their name?"
Resident: "Knoskiwoskivitz. They arc
Russians"
Officer: "Oh. Um-er-very fine wealth
er we're having"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24
Retter Than Oklahoma.

loo acres of the choicest land in the San
Luis Valley, in Southern Colorado. all under
fence. water-rights secured and bitches
ready for use. It will be sold as whole or
finest land in the valley, and is adapted to
either farming or stock-raising. For price,
terms, ETC., address HENRY A. BUTTERs
Alamosa. Colorado.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

There may not oe any such thing as the
ELIXIR of life, but the youth thinks he has
found something very near it when he kisses
the girl he loves for the first time.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Did you ever go within mile of a soap
factory? If so, you know what material
they make soap of. Dobbin's Electric Soap
factory is as free from odor as chair fac
tory. Try it once. Ask your grocer for 1t.
Take no imitation.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Neighborly Sympathy.-Mrs. Gabb: 80,
did you hear about Mrs. De Goods hus-
band? He died last night"
Mrs Gadd: "Well! Well. Pll run right
over to condole with her, and see if l can't
borrow a cup of butter; I'm entirely out"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

First Critic: 81 have noticed one peculiaI
paradox in our profession"
Second Critic: whats that?"
First critic: THE more we roast an au.
thor the rawer he feels"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

A kiss in the dark is delicious, says an
amorous contemporary. This, we venture
to remark was not intended to be published
as news.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

The glue men, at their annual meeting in
Chicago renewed their pledges to stick to-
gether for the fifth time.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Minks: 'Were you away last summer:''
Winks: "Yes. OF about month at q
summer resort"
Minks: "How did you spend you,
timer"
Winks. "Waiting for it to stop raining"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Binks: '9diss Sweet is bouncing girl,
isn't shell"
Jinks: Eyes; but her father is more in.
clined that way"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Willis: $50 your cook has left you. has
she. Did she go off with the hired man?''
Wallace: mo; she went off with the ker-
osene can"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Baldwin, the baloonist has made So, OOC
by his parachute descents In England. Fell
air to it, as it were.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Julia: "And so, Jennie, you're going to
marry a real, live prince. Dear me, isn't
that NICE"
Jennie (sadly). mo Julia, I'm not.
PAPA didn't have money enough to pay his
debts"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

The poet who sings 81 know an honest
fisherman" evidently believes in poetic high
license.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

"The winter of our discomfort" is the
winter that catches a man without an over.
coat and wearing a straw hat.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Curiosities of Freedom.-First Citizen:
II see taxes are to be higher next season. ~
Second Citizen: "Yes. steam yachts and
fast horses cost money"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Mr.. Lowry: swell, I understand that
you have taken pardner."
Miss Hihand: 'Yes, and he's going to be
a silent one, too"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Mrs. Fangle (reading the paper) ''Sarah
Bernhardt says her household expenses al
Paris average $500 day."
Mrs. Cumso: ''She must keep three hired
girls"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

First Tramp: ''Down with whiskey is
what say. Don't you say 80. pardner?"
Second Tramp: 1--WE allus set my face
ag'in it whenever had the chance"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Many man considers himself great
gun, when in fact he is nothing but smooth
bore.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24
Listen-a song of rejoicing.
Hearts that were heavy are glad.

Hearts that were heavy are glad.
Women. iook up and be hopeful,
There's help and there's health TO he had
Take courage, o weak ones despOnccnt,
And drive back the foe la, you fear
With the weapon that never will fail you.
o. be of good cheer,
for wien yol suffer from any of the weak
nesses, irregularities" and functional de-
rangements," peculiar to your sex, by the
use of DIR. Pierce's Favorite Prescription
you can put the enemy of ill-health and hap
piness to rout. 1t is tie only med cine for
women, sold by druggists, under a Ositive
guarantee of satisfaction in every case, or
money refunded. See bottle-wrapper.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

HALLS CATARRH CURE is a liquid and
is taken internally, and acts directly upon
the blood and mucous surfaces of the sys-
tenn. Send for testimonials, free Sold by
Druggists. 75c.
FL. CHENEY Il CO., Prop'rs, Toledo, o.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Secretary Blaine,,s address was published
in Peru. where it was no doubt diligently
Perused.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Nothing will so soon make a person hot
as cold treatment
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Look out for counterfeits! See that you
get the genuine Salvation Oil! Do not let
the dealer sell you some '.just as good" but
insist upon getting the genuine with the
Bulls Head trademark on the wrapper.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

1t is said to have been a Boston woman,
who. on board a yacht, spoke of a motherly
zephyr, meaning thereby spanking breeze.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

'I've had great many TRIALS in my time,
remarked the veteran criminal, sadly.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24
a PLEASING Sense

OF health and strength renewed and of ease
and comfort follows the use of Syrup OF
Figs, as it acts in harmony with nature to
effectually cleanse the system when costlve
or bilious. For sale in Zoe and S1.OO bot
ties by all leading druggists.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

A bird couldn't serve ON the Cronin jury;
because it has 'pinions.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24
Oregon the Paradise of Farmers.

Harrison, the ''boy preacher is worth
10000. What fortune he will have when
he gets to be a man.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

GERAAx photographers are now making
photographs Of lightning. They are said to b
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Women arc born gamblers, otherwise
they would not be 30 eager to marry a.
they are.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Like many young man, nature begins
her fall by painting things red.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

'1n the swim" of society the Goldfish ariss
tocracy should be able to hold their own.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

BAKxuN has treated Jumbo just a. he haa
the puhlic-stuffed hlm.-BHrlington Ere,
Press
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Wibble: "Where does this foot-path lead
Wabble?'
Wabble: THAT is not foot-path: IT is
only the tow path" And Wibble fell into
the canal
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Oysters are included among the fall open
ings.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Phoneyman professional Humorist):
'Most men immagine they are witty
Jones: "Yes, even the humorists do
thatSO
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

II would not live Away" said ths Palm
ut IN moment of poetic rapture. II would
not either" says Josh Billings, irreverently.
So We say-but then while We do live, let Us
way to do this, is to lay in q supply of d..
Ball's Cough Syrup. Try it
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

After all, the principal race troubles Occur
in paying the bets and walking home.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

The consolation of the creiitless man may
be that no is never dunned.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

A NAN With water on the brain should wear
plug hak-RA0s6elpkis BslletiA
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

For all arrangements of the liver, stom-
ach and bowels, take DIR. Pierce's Pellets
One a doe
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Yabsley: Its curious that so many men
of rare genius have made such unhappy
Matches"
n. Peck: 81 wonder if am an undevel-
oped genius"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

MID equabe nate certain and abundant crops Best
fruit grain and stock country the world Full r-
formsti free Address the Oregon immigration Beard
Port and, Oregon.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24
SUMPTION.
As an ExpectOrant 1t has no Equal.

For sale by all Medicine Dealers.
Price 25cts, 5Octs.. and ST per Bottle.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Many initiate "Tansill's Punch" &c Cigar.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Teac her: (Which one of the apost Ia
was fisherman?
Tommy: "Annanias."
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24
Your Own Local Paper

VIII be glad to give You very low Clubbing ratio
with the Topeka Weekly Capital. Try it.
In accepting any of the above propositions,
be made by postoff order, note or hank draft to
THE WEEKLY CAPITAL
Torat, Eans,S
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24

Ing power In Europe would not come.
America in favor with all nationalities,
standing out independent and alone. is
the spot and 1892 will be the time. May
it please the President of the United
States, may it please the Secretary of
State, may it please the Cabinet, may it
please the Senate and House of Repre-
sentatives, may it please the printing
presses and the churches and the peo-
pie who lift up and put down our Amer
lean rulers!
Again, I suggest in regard to the
Worlds fair that, while appropriate
places are prepared for all foreign ex-
hibits, We make no room for the impor-
tation of foreign vices. America has
enough of its own, and We need no new
installments Of that kind. A worlds
fair will bring all kinds Of people, good
and bad. The good We must prepare to
welcome, the bad We must prepare to
shun. The attempt will again be made
in 1892, as in 1876, to break up our
American Sabbaths. That attempt was
made at the Philadelphia Centennial.
but was defeated. The American Sab
bath is the best kept Sabbath on earth.
We do not want it broken down, and
substitute in the place thereof the Brus-
sells Sabbath, the Vienna Sabbath, the
st. Petersburg Sabbath or any Of the
foreign Sabbaths, which are NO Sab
baths at all. think the Lord il more
than generous in asking only ffty-tvo
days out of the 365 for his service. You
let the Sabbath 60 and with it will 60
your Bible. and after that your liberties,
and your children or your grand-child-
rem will be here in America under .
despotism Is bad a. in those lands
where they turn the Lords Day into
wassail and frelic.
Among those who come there will be,
as at other expositions, lordly people
who will bring their vices with them.
Among the dukes and duchesses and
princes and princesses of other lands
are some of the best men of all the
earth. Remember Earl of Kintore, Lord
Cairns and Lord Shaftesbury. But
there is snobbery and dunkeyism in
American society that runs after .
grandee, . duke, n lord. or . prince,
though he may be q walking laxaretto
and his breath plague. 4 makes ~
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1889-10-24
The Rock Island Responds to . Reques,
From the Governor.


A few days ago, Governor Humphrey
addressed a communication to the gen.
eral manager of the Rock Island rail-
way, asking what might be expected Of
his road in the matter of reduction Of
rates for supplies voluntarily contrib
uted for the relief Of the small territory
in southwest Kansas where crops have
failed. The governor in this letter ad-
vises voluntary contributions to be con-
fined strictly within the state. Mr..
Lows reply is as follows:
Gov. L. Q. Humphrey,
DEAR SIR: Replying to yours OF
the It'll inst. Within a reasonable lin
itation, this company will transport
supplies voluntarily contributed to peo-
pie along its line in the western part OF
this state, who have been rendered des-
titute by the failure of crops.
Yours truly,
NJ. A. Low.
, 1889-01-10

siasm. Should Frank Dallam be to
Davenport one-tenth OF what he has
been to Spokane Falls, that promising
place will be fortunate indeed. Into
his new field he certainly carries the
good wi hes OF many friend in this
community. AS stated in his saluta-
tory he need not feel In his new home
like stranger in strange land. His
residence in Eastern. Washington ante
dates the existence OF Lincoln county,
and he was unit OF the population OF
Spokane county when the outer edge
OF that shire stretched far beyond the
western limits of the present Lincoln
county, and embraced in its vast scope
grand and magnificent empire.
, 1889-01-10
rmE rEnn1roxlAL M1L,rIA

The legislature Of Washington ter
ritory has displayed much wisdom in
making liberal provision for the MAIN
tenanoe Of the territorial militia. The
organization and equipment arc per-
feet, and the various companies are 20
distributed throughout the different
sections OF the territory AS to be al
ways available in the event Of an emer-
gency requiring their services.
In the western part of the territory
disturbances have frequently occurred
and the citizen soldiery has promptly
responded 70 every call. Only last
week, at Newcastle, the presence el
the militia had q very salutary effect
an preventing a recurrence OF the
riotous proceedings at the mines. This
could not have been accomplished
without bloodshed by sheriG's posse
or any organization OF civilians, inas
much as the appearance OF such All
organization is less impressive than
that OF uniformed, armed and well
drilled military company. acting under
the direction of the highestauthorities
in the territory.
In East Washington there have been
no serious disturbances SO far, but the
rapid settlement Of the country and
the Development OF the vast mining