The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1889-09-06

toned on the subject.
He, the professor, recently went to Bar
toms Springs, a very nice bathingpla few
miles from the city, for the commendable
and healthy purpose of securing one of nat
ure's restoratives in the form of bath.
Upon arriving at the Springs the professor
discovered a man in the water engaged in
the same laudable pursuit. He was fine
looking man, the one in the water, wearing
long Buffalo Bill hair and great straw.
colored beard. The professor asked,
blandly:
SIS the water cold!"
The gentleman splashing about in the
spring replied:
Eyes, the temperature is disagreeably
glacial, but the cold water is conducive to
longevity. You can doubtless recall the
language Of Prof. Mackinaw, used by him in
his treatise on Heat and Cold and Their
Relative Influence Upon the Human Body
Dr. 'JsQue I'D ndusedn Trdnsi de froid.'"
"Ah, yes, certainly replied the pro-
fessor, delighted to have found a congenial
spirit; 81 do remember that work. 1t con-
tains much sound, logical reasoning"
1T does indeed" replied the man in the
water, vigorously splashing the cool spray
around his person. SIT certainly commends
itself to the scientist as work of great
originality, impartiality, and possessing the
true ring of genius, or, in the words of the
great Latin poet. with which you are no
doubt familiar: 'Caribns collie curdntur to
DEAN dd sum pltribus cdtdleptic. -
DO you reside in Austin!' asked the
thoroughly-pleasedp professor.
mo, am merely enjoying my midsum-
mer vacation, seeking that beneficial relax
alton which will allow me to return to my
duties refreshed and invigorated by short
season of abandonment to the seductive
wiles of natures true restorer. You re-
member what Virgil says: DE profuRdis
lllopdtl terra incognitd.' ~
The professor WIS again delighted, and,
after giving the man his card, requested
the honor of his company at his house that
night for tea.
'You will be sure to come, will you!" in
quired the professor, turning his horses
head towards town, remembering that he
had an engagement.
Most assurediy," answered the man.
'Nothing would please me better than an
hours chat with you upon some ennobling,
scientific topic, something which would at
once prove as elevatlng and instructive and
be, to use the words of Juvenal, 'Litera
hope will not be expected to appear in
evening dress, for my wardrobe
"Certainly not, my dear sir. Come just
as you are-that is, not just as you are now,
of course, but in your ordinary everyday
travelling suit"
The hour arrived for the reception of the
distinguished guest. The professor was on
the qui r;rc and the front doorstep. An
apparition appeared at the gate. 1t was
a man. 1t looked as il it had found a scare
crow-an old back number, last years
scarecrow-and had robbed it of its tattered
raiment.
Tie professor disliked tramps. so, as the
ragged, long-haired tramp approached the
house, he shouted:
$50 away! Scat I've got nothing for
YOU lam satisfied that you are Johns
town sufferer, and all that sort of thing.
but haven't got a cent for you I've got
no wood to saw. and nothing is lying around
for you to steal"
"Allow me to interrupt you for mo-
ment," said the tramp. Il feel hurt at the
way you receive me. You should remem.
Der what Horace says-'Suariter in modo,
forfter in re, Tcnus de -Hedici.' Your Ian.
guage is very different from what it was
when we met at the spring this morning,
when you invited me to take tea with you"
The professor was Mortified. He now
recognized in the tramp the learned gentle
M, he had met Mt the springs He said
'sMy friend, the spirit Of hospitality
prompts me to ask you in, but would you
not rather compromise on a dollar!'
"A dollar goes" said the tramp, as he
turned with the money in his hand to seek
the nearest saloon, calculating: 'Sic sem
per zuei beers. cor rop"'i, ror romica."
Az Swrvr