The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1889-02-28
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

T. -. J.
Harmless "White Caps'1 Nurses.
Regular "old timers"--Dutch clocks.
A bad scrape An amateurs violin
solo.
schnapp judgment-Deciding a bet Of
the drinks.
1 Down in acoal mine-A young miners
first moustache. =. .-s>ir--->>-
When the fakes begin to dance, look
out for q SNOWFALL.
Rolling stock-Cattle on board n :
steamship in storm.
The rain of tcrror-For lady with
no umbrella and new bonnet.
A burglar who was recently prostrated
with lockjaw cured himself by picking
the lock.
A little girls view of it: "dinerva
was the Goddess of Wisdom; she never
married."
The clarion notes of the rooster II
written, would. no doubt, be divided
by crow bars. Merchant Iraceley.---S
A parrot will talk on the least provo
cation, but crow seldom opens its
mouth without caws. -New York World. :
You'll write it as sure as fate,
But don't find fault or pine, :
But scratch with care tie 81
And make it 81: s
We sometimes soy aout of sight out of
mind,o but We do not necessarily imply
that blind man is insane. Mo- Hors
Mos
A.-"The crop Of young doctors in
Now York is going to be very large this
year." B.-"Yes, but what will the
harvest be9'-SJtings.
Nature uses great many quills with
which to make goose, but man can
make a goose OF himself with only one:
-Orcla1d and Garden.
"John, you are not listening to a word
/ am saying!n "Why, my dear, am all
ears.n 81 know you are, and that makes
it all the more provoking"
A ssdeaf mute"L church has been dedi.
Gated in Philadelphia. A fellow could !.
snore all through the service and disturb :
nobody. y.-Danscipe Breeze.
A. young man who becomes en-
barrassed when he calls on certain
young lady, says she gives him the shake
every time he goes to see her.
The stores are now crowded no longer,
The salesgirls get rest and grow stronger,
While prices OF gifts have SO dwindled
That some of Us feel we've been swindled.
boston Budget
A Chicago clergyman who married
three couples on the cars the other day
resents the suggestion that he allow
himself to be patented as a car coupler.
-Caicqgo Post.
"What is your fortune, my ancient maffN-
my wealth is my fortune, sir, y she said.
"Can marry you, my pretty maid!"
"If you are as wealthy, sir, p she said.
Netu Yors Sun.
Miss Parentalstem (age thirty y-fve)--5
$50 you are going to get married at last,
Pauline?" Pauline-''ies, dear, i should
think it was about time; you know Pm
twenty four. ."-Lys.
Wife-"Shall I put your diamond
studs in your shirt, dearl" Husband
"What on earth are you thinking of2
Do you want to ruin me} ] have meet
ing with my creditors this morning"
-0suelerS Reekl3.
Ethel ito her betrothed) )-s.Do learn
to skate, George. I'm sure you would
look lovely on ice." George "a young
and rising NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. lovely
onice, would II Thank you. No hurry
about t."-Syjtings.
Youthful Innocence: zone of you
boys has been stealing raisins again; |
have found the seeds on the floor.
/ Which one of you was itS" Tommy
ssIt wasn't me. Iswallowed the seed in
mine. Scranton Truth.
"Is marriage a failures" he asked Of maid
Who clung pretty close to his side;
/" I'm sure can't tell, sur. the young lady
said
Until you have made me your bride"
-Neio York World.
Jeweler- -"The inscription you wish
to have engraved on the inside of this
ring, if understand you, is .Marcellus
to irene." Young Man with some em-
barrassment)-"Yes, that's right. But
-er-don't cut the 'Irene' deep. - Cha-.
eago Tribune.
The Professor having given out as
subject for an essay 1.-THE Use of Nayi-
gation,"l one of the students concluded
his production with the somewhat novel
statement: "And thus we may say:
Tho ship is the camel of the sea. ~
Fliegends Blaettsr.