Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1889-07-13
SATURDAY. Smiles.

With the floating population at the seashore.
undressed kids are quite common.-YonkerS
Statesmen.
ghost in West Virginia has the pernicious
habit OF smoking cigarettes. Probably that is
the cause of its being a ghost.-Ne,o York
World.
Smart attornev-"You say the evening wore
on. What did it wear on that particular occa-
sion?" Witness-"The close of day, l pre-
sumo. Omaha World.
Prominent educators are inclined to believe
that the Sullivan-kilrain fight proves the in
herent superiority of the Harvard atmosphere
over that Of Johns Hopkins.-Ne1c York World
The name of the man who invented the tin
horn is not known, so he NAV escape punish
ment on earth, but it is soothing to know he
cannot dodge the balance sheet of eternal JUS
tce.-BIngitdrltOn Ledder.
II am sorry to give you pain, Mr.. Ferguson"
she said to the kneeling youth, but your score
is goose egg this time"
Not much, Miss Kajones," he replied.
haughtily, as he rose up and took his hat; ''you
can't prevent me from scoring a home rum
Chicago Tribune.
There will be difficulty now in restraining
Boston from nominating Sullivan for President
-PdtsJurg Chronicle.
Senator Ingalls, is credited with another gem
of thought. He says that the Kansas prohibi-
tionists have the law and the boys the whisky
Herald
She had purchased hammock from a store
on Woodward avenue, and as she received her
change she asked
Are there any printed instructions to 90
with it?'
No, ma'am," replied the clerk. ''You swing
1t between two trees. wait for dark night and
then go out and practice falling in and rolling
out. In a week, if you are persistent and don t
mind the bruises, you can get to that point
where you can fall in before dozen people;
but, as to getting out, you had better put in
another week on falling down stairs and bring
ing up gracefully in the hall-Detron Free
Press.
democratic politician went into florists
store the other day, looked over the florists
designs, and at last selected a large horseshoe
form.
The florist looked at his customer curiously
for moment and then smiled Are you sure
you want that one?" he asked
Certainly" replied the customer.
'Do you know the language of the horse
shoe?" asked the florist.
"Of course" said the customer. Good
luck"
Your friend is dead, isn't he?" inquired the
florist.
Yes" replied the customer, sI guess YOU
may make me an anchor or harp. or some
thing of that kind and he hurried out
Philadelphia Press.
An exchange has an article "On Getting
Ahead" Almost anybody can do that. The
difficulty is with the hat.-Brliag,on Free
Press.
Mrs. straight-''Why, Joshua, here you are
reading the Sunday papers after preaching
against them this morning.
Rev. Mr.. Straight-"Oh my dear, I'm not
reading the news. I'm just reading about Sui
livan and Kilrain. "-La,orence American.
He Gndignantly)-''Th insulting church
ushers put us into a back pew
She Calmly as quiescent volcano)-''They
probably noticed that L wore a bonnet which I
wouldn't care to have seen."-Neo York
Weekly.
Rev. DR.. Thirdly-"Is not your bill rather
high, Dr. Diagnose?"
DR.. Diagnose-''Yes; but I have scriptural
authority for making it high, and you, as q
clergyman, should not object"
"Ah, am not aware of such authority"
II will recall the passage to YOU It reads:
Physician heel myself From Life.