The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-10-06

than Of speaking during this conference,
and had it pleased God to have led the mind
of his servant to have chosen some one
else to occupy this position and let me re-
main in my seat to enjoy the remarks of
my brethren, l should have been amply
satisfied, for / have reioiced as l seldom
have before in the instructions which have
been given to the Latter-day Saints during
the meetings of this conference, and have
testimony to bear concerning the truth
and the wisdom and the
INSPIRATION OF THE TEACHINGS
which have been received. While my
brethren were lifting up their voices and de-
claring by the power of the holy ghost that
they knew this to be the work of God, /
have realized that their testimonies,
powerful as they have been, would not
suffice me unless / knew for myself that
takes an individual knowledge to save and
to make steadfast the feet of a believer in
the gospel of Christ and follower of our
Redeemer. There is no testimony so
strong, there is no tongue so
eloquent, there is no knowledge so con-
vincing, so far as relates to another indi
vidual that will suffice and stand in the
place of the knowledge which must have
for myself; and
1 DO BEAR MY TESTIMONY
that God has shown to me as well as TO my
brethren who have spoken, that this is the
work of God and that testimony l hope to
live by and, if need be, to die by.
l did not always feel as do now in rela-
ton to this great work. Quite number
| of the years of my life were passed without
my having this testimony 1t was not I'M
till the fall of 1876, thirteen years
ago, that l was placed in a position
| to know fl myself that this is indeed the
work of Cod. True, l had been taught
| from my mooner's knee that Mormonism
was the gospel of Christ. l had been
taught TO revere the name and the memory
of Joseph Smith as a prophet of the Most
High; and in my mind he stood next, in my
reverence for the holy priesthood, to the
Lord Jesus Christ Himself But it was not
until 1 attained my majority that knew
this for myself.
At the October conference OF the year
1876 was called upon to perform mission
to the United States. l had
BARELY ENOUGH FAITH
to go upon that mission. 1 was willing to
go, but did not feel that responsibility of
the soul which 1 would feel to-day
| if l were called to go to the
nations of the earth unon a similar
errand, butt was not long before became
imbued with the testimony of which [
spoke. / was laboring in the state of
Pennsylvania, and with my limited knoWl-
edge and my ignorance and the weakness
Of my faith, l did not feel that was ac-
complishing very much. l remember that
l became interested in writing for the
press, in writing home to the papers here
an account of the sights and scenes that
witnessed, and this, to measure engrossed
nv mind SO that | did not engage in my
spiritual labors with that zeSt that should
have manifested. But right here God gave
me the testimony which have since held !;
and which to me now is beyond all price.
dreamed one night while in that state
| that was
IL The GARDEN OF GBTHsENASE.
! l saw the Savior and three Of his apostles
enter through little gate at my right into
the garden stood, as it were, in the back
ground, or in the foreground Of the pic
| ture, which / haheld as plainly as now
see your faces and the interior Of this tab
ernaclo They did not SEQ me, but | saw
them. The Savior stationed those three
apostles in little group and asked
he went to the left and bowed
Himself down to pray also. Presently He
arose, and walking to where Peter, James
and John were kneeling fast asleep, He
! shook them to wake them up, and again
asked them to pray. He retired to HIS
place and prayed again. He returned
again and found them sleeping. Awaking
them once more, He exhOrted them to pray,
to keep their eyes open, and not to sleep
upon their watch. He returned to His
place again until this had passed three
times, and as He kneeled there praying to
God to give Him strength to perform His
mission to pass through the ordeal that was
before Him-to drink of the bitter cup pre-
pared for Him by His Father. And as He
called upon God in the agony of His soul,
He asked Him if it were possible to
LET THE CUP rAss FROM HIM.
The tears streamed down His face; and
gazing upon his mental agony | was con
strained to weep in unison with him,
Presently he arose and beckoned His
apostles to Him and the circumstances
seemed to change.
The scene remained as 1t was, but instead
of being in time before the crucifxion, il
now seemed to be after that event.
thought He was about leaving the earth
and He was taking these apostles with
Him My heart was so drawn out to Hin
with love- with sympathy for his great
suffering that l ran out from behind the
tree where 1 had stood gazing upon
the picture, and fell dowr
at His feet clasped his knees and asked
Him to take me with Him. L shall never
forget the look of indescribable tenderness
affection, and compassion with which HI
gazed down upon upon me as knelt before
Him. He lifted me- up and embraced me.
could feel the very warmth of His bosom
against which l nestled; and as He tool
me in His arms with all
THE TENDERNESS OF FATHER
| i olo IL 80
said, mo, my son. Your work is no
|, finished You must remain and perform
your mission. These pointing to Hi
apostles) have finished their work, ant
they can go with me, but you must re
main" was so anxious to go, felt sucl
love for Him and a desire to be witt
Him that chung to Him and 1 plead will
Him that He would let me go; that He con
tinued to shake His head. "Then,n said
promise me that when 1 have finished m,
work l will come to you at last" Again
He gazed at me with tenderness and com
passion. and He uttered these words il
tones which pierced my very soul,
''rHAr WILL DEPEND ENTIRELY UPON YOUR
SELF"
/ awoke and it was morning, but I knew
] that had been gazing upon a vision, tina
God had indeed spoken to me and that H
had told me the truth in plainness and sim
plicity l saw that /, too, must b
: awake that must not sleep, that l mus
not consider any of the things Of thi
world of paramount Importance to tn
mission which I was sent to perform as
, servant of the Lord Jesus Christ
and l have often reflected upo
the wisdom Of the Lord and whic
He gave mo when He told m
that it would depend entirely upon myself
This it why aroused myself and was dc
termined that the Lord should not rest, o