The Appeal., 1889-04-27
THE SINISTER LAWYER,

THE SINISTER LAWYER,
A Story Whose Probability VIII Not b.
questioned by His Friends.
1twas night The streets, deserted
by all save an occasional pedestrian
with stolen umbrella, were swept al
intervals by fierce gusts of wind, and
the rain came down with steady pour
which threatened an overflow.
A lawyer sits in his easy chair read.
ing a newspaper. The marble clock
on the mantel has just struck ten, and
he is about to throw down his paper
and follow his wife to bed, when
"Ah! ha! I've struck it!''
His eye had lighted upon a five-line
local item to the effect that Bloody Bill
Bunkum, of 1890 Atwater street east,
had been arrested tor stealing a grind,
stone, but was discharged at the police
court for lack of evidence.
The lawyer rushed for his boots and
hat and coat. There was business in
both optics.
"What! going out?" called his wife.
eyes" -.
''In this awful storm?"
Il must. My duty as leading mem.
Der of the Detroit bar calls me. A noble
citizen has been basely slandered and
libeled! by a newspaper. I must see
him ere Sleep"
"And get the cs-aP"
EYES," ....:. ~.
"On divyP"
'.Exactly." -..@
go, my husband, but be discreet
Don't let anybody drop on the fact that
you are shystering for cases. You are
supposed to be way-up lawyer, de.
manding cash fee when you take the
case; but if others shyster why not you:
Go hunt out the slandered Bloody Bill
Bunkum and take his case on the
whack."
1t is an hour later. A figure wrapped
in oil-skins and covered by an umbrells
knocks at the door of No. 1920.
No answer.
Knock! knock! knock!
"What the bloody 'eavens is want
ed?" demands a voice from an upstairs
window.
"Are you Bloody Bill Bunkum?"
II ar. What of it?"
Il must see you at once. There's
money in it,"
Bill felt his way down stairs arj
opened the door and asked:
''Now, then, what bloody thiet> 4e<
you?"
II am not a thief. I am a leading
member of the Detroit bar. Hush!
Don't speak so loud.'
"Come upstairs. Now, what is It'll
Want me to swear to an alibi?"
"No. Do you know that you have
k'eon grossly slandereF
''l do. When I was ro in court the
judge himself said he believed I ought
to be in State prison."
II mean by the papers. Why, the
Free Press has damaged your character
$40, 900 WORTH"
"No!"
"Yes, it has. It says, or at least
strongly hints, that you stole grind
stone."
(Which the same is in my back yart
at the present nainute.''
"Did you steal it?"
"Of course. I can be confidential
with a lawyer"
'But it wasn't proved?"
''Oh, no. I had two witnesses tc
swear that was in Toledo for that hull
month"
"And you were discharged?"
II was. The Judge wanted to send
me up, and tho jury looked cross-eyed
at me, and the prosecuting attorney
called me jail-bird, but got frea
bless the law"
''And now the Free Press jumps o.
your character and seeks to ruin you
You must begin a libel suit"
II have no money"
"But I'll foot all the costs and take
It for half what we can get"
"But the paper told the truth"
''But it can't prove it. Bloody Bill:
Bunkum, think of your wife"
/ II will, sir.''
'*And your children.''
eyes, sir"
''And of your standing in the COM
munity. Do you want the finger O:
scorn pointed at you on the streetsP"
"Never!" :,
'And have your children taunted
about grindstones?"
"Never, some more!''
'Then we will sue the Free Press fo1
libel and whack up on the verdict,
which won't be less than $4,000. Here,
sign this agreement. Some of us nov
keep them on hand in blank. Now.
then, a last word: Keep sober, if posi-
ble Talk about the SANDER. Tel
every body how it prevents your get
ting work. Have your wife ready t<
testify that you can't sleep from menta;
worry. Get some one to cali your chill
dren names. Dig a hole and bury tha:
grindstcne, and look out for the po
lice. If it wasn't fo< eiho police and thu
newspapers men like us would be rich.'
Eyes, SIR"
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