The Portland daily press., 1889-03-05
Doubt Frightening into Hope. .


And hope into certainty, is the pleasing transit
tion throulh which the mind OF the nervous, dys-
peptic invalid passes who tries course of Hos
letters Stomach Bitters, which is alike incom-
parable and inimItable. Increased vitality, gain
in weight, tranquility of the nerves. sound appe-
tte and sleep are among the blessings which 1t is
within the benehcent power of this medicine to
confer, and it is not surprising that after acqur-
ing this new dowry OF health the grateful sick
should sometimes utter their praises of the Bit
ters In Terms bordering on extravaganza. "Out
of the fnllness of the heart the mouth speaketh,"
have sometimes been obliged TO suppress these
eulogiums lest they should be accused of blowi
their own trumpet too loudly. For constipation,
bilionsness, kidney complaint aud incipient
rheumatism the Bitters is also deservedly popu-
lar remedy.
Gaston-That rascal z. asked me Just now to
lend him one hundred francs.
Gustave-Did you lend IL?
Gaston-Certainly not; he already owes me that
Gnstsye-Perhaps he wished to pay you.
Gaston-That's SO. l never thought of thar.
What fool wasi
When Baby was sick, we gave her Casroria
When she was a Child she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children. she gave them CastoriA
A few years ago, when Edmonia Lewis first
placed her statue of Cleopatra on exhibition, a
country woman strayed in and stood before 1t in
admiring awe for few minutes; then turning to
Miss Lewis, said:
ibid you make 1t from life?"
.'Wen no, not exactly, as Cleopatra lived years
before Christi" said Miss Lewis.
aOh Is that sol Thes 1 suppose you made 1t
from photograph" and with last lingering
look she departed, evidently quite satisfied.
a mans wife should always be the
same especially TO her husband, but II she Is
weak and nervous, and uses Carter's Iron Pills.
she cannot be, for they make her ''feel like
different person." so they all say, and their hus-
bands say so tool
Satisfaction Wanted;
Magistrate-You claim, Mrs Kelly, that Mrs.
o'Toolihan gave you that bruised and blackened
Mrs Con Kelly--she did, yer honor, or I'm not
Msgisrate-And what you want is damages9
Mrs. Key-Naw, sir; want Satisfaction;
have damages enOugh.-EditorS Drawer OF Har-
per's Magazine
Get well and stay well. But how shall we do 1t
Listen my friend, and the secret I'll tell,
Though, for that matter there's no secret to II,
As many man understands very well.
III lON-splTllcu, BtoOuyI uSpiCooONt
II nothing tastes good and your nights bring no
rest
IL your stomach is foul and your mouth seems
much fouler,
And SO cross you become that they call you
"growler,"
Be sure that the trouble Is due to your liver,
And the blood is as sluggish as sometimes river
Becomes when it's filled with all manner OF stuff.
Clear t out and the current runs smoothly enough.
Go to the drug store and get a bottle of DIR.
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, the great
blood-purher and liver inyigorator. 1t is a sure
cure for the low spirits and general depression a
man feels when his liver is inactive and his blood
impure. This remedy makes man well.
The worst Nasal Catarrh, no matter of ow
long Standing, is permanently cured by DIR. sage's
Catarrh Remedy.
Dissembler:
Mother-How did you get your hands so dirty?
Jamie-Me?
Mother Yes, you.
Jamie-Wh did you say?
MoLher-l asked you how you got your hands
Jalne-Me9
Nother-Yes Answer ME immediately
Jape-M-I mean l dunno. Maybe IL was
wipip' 'em on my face.
Awoman who Is weak, nervous and
sleepless, and who has cold hands and feet can
not feel aud act like well person. Carriers Iron
Pills equalize the crcuIau0n, remove nervous
ness and give strength and rest.
A gentleman who had fad or two was walking
down the street the other day with a lady. when
he began TO revile facetiousy the gait and car
rage OF her sex.
"Eyen you walk with very mechanical STEP
replied.