Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-09-13
PLEASAN7R1Eg
PoET for the aged-G,

. "Nelase iaster never iDa,,
IN ANYTHING worse than mon Indulge
tacks there would be fewer "bSp 'a u
days. ''ue Mon
Miss FLyrE, do you think Nj. -.
IS Laughing at me?' Il can't sa @'s 81
Softleigh. She often lanah Say, n,
nothing" Gus al amos
"Too MUCH 'Pomp,' at fuDe,,, ,
man remarked when he saw biz ss ~.
ering at the obsequies Of . ''s gail
citizen. eoiore
WHEN a washerwoman change. ,
place of residence one nav 81
where she hangs out now asA he
using slang. "''aoq
Pa she called up stairs g.
clock down here in the hall isn't oo;. ~
1T isn't, eh?" he returned; well I'' af'
let that be an example to Adolnh ' uea
AN eye to business Boy Ito his fri,
who has fallen down the holo1 ' 'ea
Tommy, if you never should oon, 'a
of dere' erlive. can 1 have von ~e0
purp? N' 'o
W1FE-This is the third lima
have come home drunk this W.
Hubby-D-don't be so p-ness;m;a.: wee
dear. You should think Of tbo :.
nights I came home sober,
Forty thieves was recently hi11oa
Montreal theater, but it was q fal,s
The insignificant number of thieves
only jeered at by the American co7o,
of defaulters and cashiers.
CuRLEY-I say, Whitley, this mo.
schaum you presented to me is NOT .,
uine. Whirley-Why isn'tit? Cusl,
I've only had it six weeks and ]
blamed things getting yellow.
BEss1E-So this is saw mil,
wonder what they do with the fink
that is all full of knot holes? Jan,
From my own experience, I sbon
say they used it to build bath,
houses.
YOUNG Husband-What? You q
twenty-five years old to-day? WI
you told me a year ago just beforetl
wedding, that you were only tvep4
Young Wife (wearily)-I have az
rapidly since I married.
BoBBY-Don't they ever try tot
the bulls and bears on Wall streJ
papa? Papa-Yes, they do kill lid
sometimes. Bobby-With gu
Papa-No, they catch them in /,
and pinch them to death.
Fred say, Chef, what would u
think of a man who buried two childp
in the morning and went to horse.rs
in the Afternoon? Chet-I should thi
that he was the worst cuss that ev
lived. Who was he? The undertsk,
"WHAr delightful colors, Mrs. Sim
huysen," exclaimed Mrs. BobberneI
as she examined one of the latest cd
in bathing dresses. EYES," said NJ
Simphuysen, II do so admire tll
blushing tints-saves blushing yv|
self, you know"
1 AM sorry to give you pain,
Ferguson" she said to the kneeE]
youth, @but your score is goose
this time" "Not much, Miss Kajons|
he replied haughtily, as he rose upsl
took his hat; "you can't prevent me fin
scoring q home run"
YABsLEY--Well, Wickwire, ha
given up my position. 1 have $40
saved up, and 1 am going to study
and get into politics. Wickwire-Y
haven't got the sense of last yea
oyster. Ii you want to get into polh|
why don't you take that $1,000
start saloon.
AT cafe group of gentlemen
cussing politics; Young student
tered and joined in the conversatlo
his argument did not please the otht
and one of them said to him.
luiet1 At your age 1 was an ass N
self!' You are wonderfully well ?
served, sir" was the reply.
ScAPEGnAcE-Do your spee5ae
magnify everything? Optican-l Ia
some glasses that magnify eveIyFA'
seen through them. Scapesraes
Well. I want pair to give to old IN
hold that will make my income ots
a year look like $4,000 till after
daughter and L are married.
You'll never die of consumptf
john, said a wife to her husband Sn
he came home. at late hour little
worse for wear. Il won't die ofe
su1nption-what makes you THINK
Because your lungs are sound -
do you knowg' elbow do know
cause your breath is SO strong.
C1TIzES--Mike, l understand you
suspected Of belonging to the Cla'
Gael? Mike-Thin, be tn powers
tn furst toim in the hishtry S
famoly tibet. a O'Houllihan was