davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
Willy yanderbilt's Row with His Chef.

Announcement OF the row between
William X. Vanderbilt and his $4,000
chef is the sensation Of the hour and
society is very much interested and
amused, says the Newport correspond
ent OF the New York Herald.
Whether the chef. Mr.. Joseph, was
discharged. or whether he disc harged
Mr.. Vanderbilt, is not definitely known.
but certain it is that the rupture is ir-
repardble and that NJ. ct Mime. Dagniol
will sail for Europe Wednesday, going
directly TO Paris.
The trouble arose over pair OF par
tridges
Toujours perdrix never fails TO cause
trouble in even the best-regulated fam
lilies and the Vanderbilt's are not ex-
empt from the common woes OF human
ity. These partridges were served in
a manner that did not suit Mrs. Van
derbilt.
Take them away" she said to the
butler. They are not good"
beg parding, mum" said that
functionary. after moments absence,
and returning with his nose at high
angle over the derelict birds, "but
Mooseer Joseph says has the birds his
perfect"
Then tell him they are not perfectly
cooked, and keep them out of the
roomr'
VERY good, num-" and returning
again. beg parding, mum, but
mooseer says e knows 'ow TO cook"
Mr.. Vanderbilt, it is said, now inter
fered, with the painful result already
mentioned, paid off his chef, and in his
best French said; IBID me goodby
and 60"
NJ. Dagniol went.
/ found the deposed Frenchman at
Pinard's this evening, where he was
letting his pot OF grievances simmer all
over the place. | tried to skim him,
but he was too angry to talk Ineligible
English and was too unnerved at his
fall to speak credible French.
"Ah, mon, Dieu! | have zee reputa-
ton to compose les menus les plus
recherches in Paris. Vas it for zis TAI
quite la belle France and lie cafe Marie?
Are nom de nom de nom de nom d une
pipe! Rats, alors
"Mais," pulling himself together,
"vat you will viz me? You will me in
terview? Que voulezvous que je vous
disc? Allez done. Vous autres mill
lionaires Americans, vous ne savez pas
distinguer entire un vrai supreme de
valaille ct votre sacre pork and
beans.
"Ouah! A bas la grade cuisine en-
Amerique! Je pars pour noble patrie."
Something like a bitter Gallo tear
here glistened in NJ. Dagnio's eye.
and / gave the interview up as bad
job, after timidly suggesting to the de-
throned monarch that some OF the New
York clubs were awfully in need of just
such a cook as he seemed TO be.
"Trop tard, mon ami; mon c9ur
cuisinier est 'braise.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
4 Man Of the World.

suppose | am one of those persons
who come under the street phraseolo-
gy OF "a man of the world" / also
suppose that phrase, in its best sen Sc,
means man not wholly good or bad -
person known and distinguished
from those whose pretensions lead
them into exclusiveness those who
pretentiously consider themselves spec
tally ushered into the world for a pur-
pose. With this self-sanctifying def
milton of my place in the social, econom-
ic, political and business world, | have
closely observed the men of my class
as contra-distinguished from my own.
Few men who have breasted the waves
OF every day life, who are deep within
the shadow to-day and smiling in the
sunshine tomorrow, fail to develop a
heart rich in all the impulses of human
sympathy and benevolence. Now, it is
with no intention to cast odious refec-
lions upon pretentious class by relat-
ing recent incident A comparatively
young man. of good family and having
the advantage of good education. but
who was unfortunate to the extent Of
leaving the parental roof prematurely,
and who failed To find the world all
roses, called upon now wealthy and
formerly intimate friend OF his fathers
family for assist 'nce. He was seedy
and absolutely needed. He wanted to
take his rags and all his valuable ex-
perience home again, freely admit his
error and commence life anew. He
was not only refused assistance, but
was even gruffiy ordered away He re-
turned to his old haunts aud his men
of the world associates disheartened.
related his days experience to a COM
pany OF three or four. and with the re-
suit that they Clipped in enough to
send him to the old home. and they
did not ask any note for the amount
advanced, with usurious interest,
either. l received check for the
amount few days ago, and it may not
be inappropriate to say that his father
has discontinued his business relations
with the man to whom his son applied
for assistance, which means the loss OF
several thousand year. Globe Dem
ocrat
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
Sally Would Take Her Rest.

Said a homely, bent little man
pathetically. when speaking OF the
mother OF his children, who had done
her life work: ut comforts me pow
erfully to know that Sally would allus
lie down every afternoon an sleep a
bit Some folks tho't twas a dretful
lazy habit, and twas no wonder we
didn't get rich faster, but she suited
me jest as she was. Sally was a COM
Portable sort OF woman TO have
around. never frettin' at Teller or.
faultin' him when things didn't GO right.
When ieelin' troubled she'd often saw.
Father, | believe I'll lie down and rest
for few minutes. an then back she'd
come spry and clipper as canary
bird. Sally didn't drive and scold. but
she wasn't lazy, an she brought up the
youngsters to do their part / don't
see that drivin' women gets on one
mite better than she did. II does COM
fort me TO know Sally would take her
rest"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18

ton TO own him. am kept back by
sense that / must not disgrace my
family by stealing him. so, when find
a man who has no self control, no edu-
cation. no moral training. | know that
ne has stolen horses and pity him for
the possession OF a passion that is NOR
ally his master My good common
sense tells me that if should take an
other mans horse would be discovered
and imprisoned. But IL ever got an
idea that / could secure it without de-
lection and my crime never be heard
of should-well, should advise the
owner TO keep his stable door fastened.
OF course this is not for publication
for if such candid talk got into print
my congregation in Ohio would say L
was lacking in orthodoxy and the regu-
lar clerical dignity. You must recol-
lect that clergymen while away from
home do not as rule act as dignited-
ly as when they are in their parish,
and / am no exception to the rule.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
A Gamhler.s Request.

Frederick Brown, II we'll known
sporting man of Washington, who died
in Saratoga recently, made will leav-
ing his mother $50, OoO This amount
no has won from the bookmakers in
the last year. At the last meeting of
the Jockey club in 1888 he event
broke" saving from the wreck only a
diamond ring. which he pawned for
$40. borrowing $40 he started with
this capital and won $1,000 during the
spring meeting. He followed the
horses TO Monmouth, Sheepshead and
Saratoga. and won right along. He
deposited $4,000 OF his winnings in a
Saratoga bank.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
A VALLEY OF WONDERS.
Marvellous Sights Along the
Course OF the Colorado River.


Course Of the Colorado River.
On the Colorado river distance of
100 miles, are mountains OF salt ex-
tending miles. The salt is SO pure
that newspaper can be read through
blocks of six and eight inches. A
single blast OF giant powder will blow
out tons upon tons of it. This salt
does not dazzle your eyes, as you
might expect, while riding along on
the river steamer or clambering over
it. 1t has n layer OF sandstone from
two to eight feet thick over il. When
this Is torn away the salt lies in full
sight like great snowdrift. How
deep 1T Is nobody knows This salt is
destined TO be the source Of great
wealth. Hamilton Disston, the big
saw manufacturer, and Baldwin, of the
Baldwin locomotive works, are the
only men who have secured any of
these salt mountains. When the Utah
Southern railroad is pushed on from
Frisco. Utah, it will tap the gigantic
salt mountains. The rocks up toward
the salt mountains are painted and cut
into hieroglyphics which none OF the
know the meaning of. There are
valleys along the great but as yet I'M
known Colorado, singly Us much as
l2O miles long and twenty wide. That
will be the real orange country Of the
globe. They are is rich as the valley
of the Nile. Irrigation will redeem
them. Water will be brought on
them as sure as destiny
FL Dorado canyon is grander than
the Grand canyon OF the Colorado.
The tops Of the windows of the steamer
ella do not project out more than six
inches, yet may put my head out and
look as high as | can and | can't see
half way up the mighty walls of the
canyon. The river is 800 feet wide
there, too. The only way you can see
to the top is to get right out on deck
and look straight up. The walls are
so high that there is perpetual shade
there. Neither the sun nor the moon
can shine in. 1t takes ten hours going
up TO go through the canyon and two
hours coming down. BY the Colorado
river and the Virgin you can run clear
up into Nevada and Utah. Many peo-
pie have laughed at me for saying
l was going up into mountainous
Nevada by boat, but that's just what I
have been doing right along. Strange
as it may seem, and little as it is, the
Colorado has more navigable water
without portage than any other river
on the Pacific coast. 1t has 700 miles,
while the Columbia has but $50 The
Colorado Is the only real field for ex-
plorers on the North American CONT
nent outside of the frigid North. The
wonders that could be unearthed there
will yet attract the attention of the
greatest scientists of the world. Col
orado Letter.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18

eggs by the end of the follow
in z month. There has been an onzel's
nest by the White Water rocks time out
OF mind. Every spring, when the first
willow wren's call comes up from the
woods, we make pilgrimage TO visit
it. SO soon as we are near enough to
hear the rush OF water over the falls,
so soon do we catch the wonderously
joyous strains of the brook birds. 1t
seems that the more white water is fall
when from the bird 5 bill we have seen
that it was singing, the song has been
completely drowned by the rush OF the
water. But the nest! 1t has been
against the dripping liuchened rock
since first we could reach up to IL. 1t
is one of the marvels of bird architect
ure-so fresh, so crisp. so cunningly
woven and yet so much in keeping with
the spirit of the bird. 1t is quite foot
in diameter, round and bossy IN out
line. with neat hole in the side and
wholly composed OF the freshest green
moss. Standing by one is soon
drenched through by the falling spray,
which makes miniature rainbow
against the sun. IL is here that the
young dippers first begin life, and a
fairy spot it is. They soon learn to
love the white foam and the torrent
and a few days after they leave the
nest may be seen wading among the
shadows, or occasionally disappearing
in the deep5. From these they emerge,
the golden water trickling from their
backs but seldom without some soft
bodied thing from among the pebbles.
Sylvan Folk.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
How Man Became Colonel on short Service

hOW wan u tOioncI on ShOrN service.
Col. Ike Hill, OF Licking county,
without doubt one OF the greatest OF
national characters, was in the city a
few days ago. To number of old
friends. VINO braved the terrors of
war, he related how he came by the
title OF colonel.
II served In the army one cousecu-
tive night" said Ike. 1T was the
Army of the Potomac, and il was near
Alexandria when found them. / was
on my way there, and on the train,
not far from Alexandria. met an old
friend who was an officer in that army.
| was then n great short-card player,
aud he knew il. He invited me to go
down to camp, telling me | could win
barrel of money. Well, went.
ut was long toward evening, and
that night we had game of poker.
Why, | won at least So. 900. breaking
hem all. One of the crowd OF Off GERS
was sore loser, and when he had
staked and lost his st cent? he pull
ed his revolver and made me throw
up my hands. Then they took every
cent | had and turned me over from
Ouc SuttIu W uIlOollcE uHJll lduutu III
the bull pen at Alexandria. | was
dressed fit to kill. and one OF those
devils took knife. running it up the
back Of my Prince Albert, Sitting it
to the mock. My patent leather shoes
were all burst from walking ana | was
almost dead, besides being busted. )
| succeeded In getting out OF the
prison and over TO Washington, where
Mrs. Sunset Cox loaned me $25 in
gold"
WAS that all of your war expert
enceP" asked one OF the party.
THAT was all. Capt. Owens once
asked me. in a very surprised way.
whether l had thrown up my hands
when they told me To. / said | did.
We'll, wouldn't have done it..
he said
No, you would have whipped the
army 1 couldn't. "-Cincinnati En-
quirer.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
A Somnamhulistx Perfnrmance.

Residing on the South Side, says the
Chicago Herald, is a man whose physi-
clan has strongly advised him to in
dulge in a regular exercise This young
man has been troubled with insomnia,
and is afflicted with somnambulism.
He believes, however, that he has the
making of an athlete in him, and when
he received his physicians instructions
he resolved to bring it out. So he had
a horizontal bar erected in the back
yard of the house, and upon this he
practiced daily. His principal feat
was TO grab the smooth bar with both
hands and swing around with great
rapidity. One night the young mans
mother was awakened by the noise of
a door closing. She arose and tiptoed
toward the back part OF the house.
Looking out OF the rear window, she
saw her son, clad in his nightgown,
revolving on the horizontal bar with
lightning rapidity Amazed at the
spectacle OF the gyrating son and his
tapping night garment she aroused
his father and told him about il. The
old gentleman arose, donned his pants
and went to the rescue. When he sue
ceeded in stopping the evolutions of
the flying boy he learned that he was
asleep, and that he had posed as SON.
nambulistic athlete. He awoke him
with some difficulty and led him back
to his bed. Now the young man has
his parents lock his doors aud windows
when he goes TO bed. He is anxious
10 regain his health, but he will not 90
so far as to do "a horizontal act in his
nightgown.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
The Dipper.

II number of dippers could be
started from the head OF the water
shed any given of area, tracing the
brooks and streams from source to
mouth, they would register perfect
chart OF the waterways of the district.
For it is characteristic that however
sinuously the stream may wind and
double on itself, these the dipper
closely follows, never skirting the land
10 make short fights Even il one be
fishing or boating on the stream, the
bird only rises higher, but allows no
obstacle 10 bar its course. The dipper
is perhaps the most essentially water
bird we have-even more so than the
so called water fowl. 1t seems so COM
pletely part and parcel OF the stream
IL inhabits that one might almost sug-
gest its origin from the streams them
selves from the bubbles or the spray.
More frequently than not the nest is
placed Immediately beneath a water
fall and the young birds get their first
peep of the world without through a
spray shower OF water crystals. Thei r
green messy home conforms m arvel-
ously to the dripping rock against
which IL Is placed-so much so that
only trained eye can detect IL. The
dipper is an early breeder, in some
years commencing its nest In January
and having its five foam white
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18


1t is a matter of regret Gas well as
pecuniary loss) that the project for a
grand exhibition of American corn at
the Paris exposition was failure. 1t
was the best opportunity ever offered
to show TO the world what can be
done with corn az an article of human
food. Had suitable display OF our
maize product been made at Paris, and
Europeans visiting the exposition
been instructed in preparing the num-
erous palatable dishes that can be made
from corn, there is no doubt but that
in short time there would have been
marked increase in the export Of
that cereal. When it is remembered
that millions OF the poor classes Of
Europe are compelled TO use poor
quality of rye and barley bread, when
for the same cost, and even less, they
might use American corn TO make
corn bread, Indian meal, hominy and
other palatable articles OF food found
on all American tables, the question
of introducing our corn into Europe
becomes one Of philanthropy, as well
as profit Had the exhibit been made
and the right steps taken the market
for our corn crop would have beer
vastly larger than it is at present.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
In a Russian Court.

The folk lore Of Southern Russia can
be partially imagined from case which
came before a Judge OF Odessa. A man
applied for writ to compel his
daughter TO leave the house, because
when she saluted her parents she did
not bow to them. He said that he
would withdraw his application IL she
would ask pardon and make the regu-
lar obeisance. The girl agreed. She
asked pardon; but when she bowed the
father cried: Lower. Down with
your head! down below the girdleH'
She replied: IL won't bend as low as
that, not If have TO leave the house. :"
The Judge thereupon ordered her to
leave but she gave in finally and
bowed her head TO the girdle.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
A California Curiosity.

A crustacean curiosity OF much in
terest has just been added 20 the state
museum of California. Its scientific
nam is Birgo Latis, the robber crab.
1t is a land crab and lives by climbing
cocoanut trees, from which it gathers
the fruit, crack ing the same and eating
its fruit 1t is. very handsome in APP
pearance. with strong claws, and looks
like a cross between a crab and lob
ster. This specimen was brought
from the Tanning islands on the other
side OF the equator. Two OF them W ere
brought, but one has sinoe died.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
The Modern Greek as He IL Seen.

IL you will take the tallest and lean
est man OF your acquaintance and put
him in short. roundabout vest and
viii te, ballet-girl skirt; If you will put
a soft, red, rimless cap on the side OF
his head and let the long. black tassel
OF this fall down over his ear and then
clothe his feet in long, red slippers,
which turn up at the toes, you will
have some idea of how the gaudy coun-
try Greeks look. You must, however,
make the vest gorgeous with brass,
silver or gold embroidery and it must
have long sleeves which hang down
from the wrist On the toe of each red
slipper there must be a red tassel as
big as chestnut burr and OF the same
shape, and bright leggings must be
wrapped tight around the shins. The
white skirts must come to the thighs
and they must stand out as though
starched. They must be so many that
the breadth OF the bottom will be at
least a foot thick and the wearer must
flirt them as he moves with a gay and
giddy air. If you would have him
like Greek soldier you must give him
a great belt aud fill this with old pistols
and knives. You must put a sword at
his side and a gun in his hand. You
must shave off all but his mustache and
give him strut like that OF a drum
major when the band Is reviewed by the
ma or.-Carpenter.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18

The entire Wong family OF the
province OF Canton, China, has declar-
ed war against the powerful family OF
Lees. A number of years ago the
Hakas and Buntes families engaged in
a similar feudal warfare, thousands OF
men and women were killed, and the
war continued until the Hakas tribe
had almost been exterminated. The
Wong-Lee feud is the most extensive
on record, and will furnish the sub
ject for spirited discussion in every
Chinese laundry In the United Sta.cs
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18

Several important laws went into
effect in Michigan on the LIST inst.
FIRST, the amended license and local
option law, by the terms OF which the
highest fine for disregarding the law
is 5000, and the minimum is raised to
$50. Another important measure is
the ANTITRUST" law, which forbids
the formation Of all trusts. After this
date it is illegal TO sell tobacco in any
form TO minors, so that TO a
degree long suffering public will be
spared the uauseating odor which fol-
lows in the wake of the cigarette fiend.
The law reducing the rates of railroad
fare 10 two cents a mile on the Grand
Trunk and other lines whose charters
do not protect them from the change,
is in effect after Oct. |. Their CON-
petition, il the constitutionality OF the
law be upheld, will be money in the
pockets OF the travelling public, mas
much as it will serve to reduce
through fares on all parallel lines.
BY the terms OF a law which becomes
operative this date (Oct. y the ticket
of-leave system is to be given a trial.
According to the provisions OF the
law, the board of prison control can
release prisoners on ticket-of-leave or
keep them imprisoned for the full
term prescribed by statute, as in their
discretion seems for the best inter
ests OF society and the individual. 1t
Is, in fact, modified indeterminate
sentence law, and those in charge OF
the penal institutions hope for excel
lent results from its enforcement
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18

There is beginning to be considera-
BILE talk in and about Paris concer ming
the worlds fair to be held in Ameri-
ca in 1892. Representatives from
various countries exhibiting at the
Paris exposition are interested and
uniformly declare that they will make
an exhibit at the worlds fair in this
country fully commensurate with
the magnitude and importance oil
the greatest fair the world has ever
seen.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18

is descended from one of the noblest
families in England, whose head is the
Earl of Scarborough. He is a come
dian OF the school that was led and
represented by the late Lester Wal
lack. The Kendals lead singhlarly
felicitous married life, husband and
wife always playing together.
When they were married they made
up their minds never TO play love
scenes but with each other, and al
though they could have made more
money by playing and starring sepa-
rately, they preferred domestic happi-
ness.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1889-10-18
II damsels fair and youthful

II damsels fair and youthful
But meant the things they say,
All then, what Joy 70 listen
When eyes OF azure glisten
And tender words and truthful
Our fears and doubts allay;
If damsels fair and youthful
But meant the things they say.
If maidens never firted
And men were never false;
II matrons never ended,
IL wall flowers ne'er derided,
Ones cares might be- diverted
BY gliding through valse;
II maidens never tiirted
And men were never false.
If bores were never present,
And Doors were never seen;
If girls in their tenth season
Would only listen 10 reason,
rTwould render much more pleasant
Society, 4 ween;
If Dores were never present
And Doors were never seen.
America.