The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1889-06-11
BACHEIORHOOD a FAILURE.
What a Philadelphia Clergyman Has to
Say on the Subject.

! The bachelor at fifty is but spoony
youth of twenty. As you have seen
him talk to girls in their teens, when
he ought to have talked TO them like q
father, you almost involuntarily longed
to remind him of the quaint rebuke OF
grand old John: Thou talkest like
one upon whose head the she'll stick
eth to this day." This is how it seems.
He is old enough to have been full
fledged before the girl he makes love
to was born, and here he is, trying to
make her believe that he is still in the
days of his gosling-green, with the
shell sticking on his head to this day.
1t is given to man hat once to be soft
and untried, gushing and superlative.
The man who avoids matrimony be-
cause of its cares, rivals the wiseacre
who secured himself against corns by
having his legs amputated. eff low
ing is a painful thrill, not to love is
more painful still"
Here is a sort of common wit which
consists of jesting at the supposed
bondage of the married state. Some
of the very best men have kissed the
shackles which a wife imposes, and
have either thought Or said: eff this
be slavery, who'd be free?" The grand
est men the world ever saw were mar
riage-Rade men. Some people have an
ingenuity of making themselves miser-
able in whatever state they are. and
make us see the wisdom of the sour
sage's remarks: Whether you marry
Or not. you will repent IT." Fools turn
every blessing into curse, like the
man who said: This is good rope,
I'll hang myself with it.
The wife is the little tug of the ship,
directing the movements and supply
ing the motive power. When Lord
Eldon was told that he had received
the great seal at the hands of the King,
when about TO retire his Majesty said:
<'Give my remembrance to Lady FL
don" The Chancellor in acknowledge
ing the condescension intimated his
ignorance of Lady Eldon's claim to
such notice. Yes. yes" the King
answered, Il know how much | owe
TO Lady Eldon. know that you would
have made yourself a country curate
and that she has made you my Lord
Chancellor. Every schoOl-boy knows
that kite won't fly very high without
a string tying it down. 1t is just so
In life. The man who is tied down by
a mother and few blooming response
bilities will make a higher and steadier
fight than the bachelor. who having
nothing tied to him is always founder
ing in the mud. Young gentlemen, if
we want to ascend in the world We
will have to tie ourselves to somebody.
"Ven you're a married man, Sam
ivel," says Mr.. Weller to his son Sam,
+.you'll understand good many things
as you don't understand now, but
vether it is worth while going through
so much to learn so little, as the boy
said ven he got to the end of the alpha
bet, is a matter of taste. | rayther
think it isn't" That a philosopher
like Mr.. Weller should so underesti-
mate matrimony as a teacher is unac-
countable. We have il on the author
ity Of thrice-married man that his
first wife cured his romance, the second
taught him humility, and the third
made him a philosopher. Bishop Fay
lor said: IF you are for pleasure.
marry; if you prize rosy health, marry.
A good wife is Heavens last best gift
TO a man; his angel of mercy; minister
of graces innumerable; his gem of
many virtues: his casket of jewels; her
voice, his sweetest music; her smiles,
his brightest day; her kiss, the guard
ian of innocence; her arms the pale of
his safety, the balm of his health, the
balsam of his life; her industry his
surest wealth; her economy his safest
steward; her lips his faithful counsel
ors; her bosom the softest pillows of his
cares, and her prayers the ablest ad-
vocates of blessings on his head
Madison G. Peters, in Philadelphia
Press.