The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1889-11-01
VARIETIES

-Smith-"Look here, Brown, we'll soon
decide the matter; let's ask the waiter.
Waiter, are tomatoes a fruit or a vegetable 7"
Waiter-"Neither sir. Tomatoes is a extra"
Willie (who has eaten his apple)-"Ma-
bel, let's play Adam aud Eve. You be Eve
and I'll no Adam. Mabel-"All right
Well3" Willie-"Now you tempt me 10 eat
your apple and I'll succumb."
mo doubt you have heard songs with
out words" said young man to Mrs. De
Porque. NO" replied that lady, "but I've
heard 'em sung in Italian, when you couldn't
understand word, and don't doubt that it
was almost as bad"
Lay thy sweet hands in mine" he said but
she only remarked that she had neuralgia and
must hold her head. He gave her salvation OIL
and now he holds her sweet hands by the hour.
From almost every section of the State come re-
ports of a general improvement of the health OF
our people, due no doubt TO the influence of Dr..
Bulls Cough Syrup, which costs only % cents.
-"What is an echo?" asked the teacher of
the infant class. "lt's what you hear when
you shout" replied the youngster. "ls it
caused by a hill or hollow ?" again asked
the teacher. Both" was the ready reply
"How sos" "The hill throws bac ok the hol.
low"
Jack Borrowit-"There' no use in trying
TO economize, Tom. The money is bound
to go one way or the other" Virgins
"Why, what's the matter nowp ?" Jack Bor-
rowit--"Why, I've been walking home every
night for month to save my car fare, and
now Mrs. Pancake has raised my board on
account of increased appetite"
Those unhappy persons who suffer from ner-
yOusness and dyspepsia should use Carter'S Little
Nerve Pills, which are made expressly for sleep
less nervous, dyspeptic sufferers. Price 20 cents.
-Bagsby. Yes, this is all right, but where
q tho CDat and trpuapra ~ Eipaten-aUu
mine frent, you buys dis suit on ter install.
ments plan amt it? You pays five tollsr
down, unit you gets ter fest. You pays ten
tollar, unit you get ter pants. Ter next week
you pays twenty tollar, unit you gets ter
coat. Dot sh ter way"
pat, you must be an early riser. al
ways find you at work the first thing in The
morning" Indnde, an OF am, sor. It's a
family thrat, Oh do be thinking" "Then
your father is an early riser too, eh ?" me
feyther, is it? FAX, an he roists that early
that ef he'd go to bed little later he'd mate
himself gettin up in the morning"
Women with pale, colorless faces, who feel
and bodily SgOr by using Carriers Iron Pills, which
are made tor the blood, nerves and complexion.
Mrs. Tesiy, Cooking up from the paper J
isn't this stranger A certain gentleman
after fit of illness was absolutely unable to
remember his wife, and did not believe she
was the one he married" Mr.. Tesly-"Wel,
dunno. It's pretty hard work sometimes
for man to realize that his wife..is the same
women he once went crazy over"
In stock with other liquors, Isaac Hecht,
Washington street. below the old Railroad
Havre de Grace. Nd, has the following brands
Of noted whiskies: $. j. Faust, Buckwalter.
Monticello, Orient. Baker, David Faust. Jockey
Club, Cincinnati DIstillery and other brands ;
also, Brandes, Wines, Gins. RUNS, Gemmel
and n fact anything you want in the liquor line.
Customer, Crushing into hardware
store)-"Ive just got time to catch train
Give me corn-popper" Facetious Dealer
Don't you mean pop.corner?" "Yes, a
cop-porner. Hurry up" Don't you mean
pon-corper Hang it" exciledly, 81 said
porn-copper, didn't p NO" also excited.
ner." "You said porp-conner." II didn't"