Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-07-12
PiTiI AND POINT.

| Never 't,i. - ricfcpl'tlfon ih'' 10 give
Vol his views.
a printed o:drr of exercises is Il sort
Of hill Of rites.
Fish arc pretty good instance Of
case where neither end is meat.
I'm important branch OF education in
The Oldcn times The birch switch.
Because II man lacks polish, by no
means does il follow that he isn't bright.
a Cape COD fisherman calls his boat
The Kiss, because it is nothin. but II
smack.
There is not much milk of human kind.
ness in the pale of civilization. 49, Jumpers
Bdsar.
The product ol the electric plant may
be sold ut II profit even though the yield
be light.
II is strange that in throwing mp our'
hands To n hi"hwayman, We throw down
our arms.
The owner of an exceptionally valuable
building site ought to feel contcnicd with
his lot.-Dctroit Firc Press
Tom-"IIcllo, Dick; what time is it:
Is your watch going" Dick-''No, it's
gone. y YANKEE Bhtdc
The Oklahoma boomers carry thri,
planting tools with thcm--thr rifle, the
bowie and the revolver. Eimiru G0ait.
Lives Of cowtoys all remind us
II on carih we wish Ia stop,
We should leave them far behind us
Or arrange Ia .set The drop.
TimOrOus Old I.a,iy--''IIow can tel
which is the shady side of the care
Gruf Old Gcntlcmrn-"B giving tho
porter half 81 dollar "-D,tron Free Press.
Smith Jones, | owe you debt OF
gratitude which can never pay" Jones
-"Ncvcr mind. old man know your
habits better thnn to expect i,"--Loc,h
citizen.
"Oh, mammal exclaimed II little
Burlington boy, on seeing calf for tho
first time, there's the little COW that
gives the condensed milk. y Buyiingfon
Free Press.
Wifc-"l'vc found exactly the girl ",
been looking ror-but unfortunately
can't engage her" Husband Why
notI" Wife, Shcs too large for the
servants bedroom"
Among other recent important scicntili,
discoveries is the TACT that u woman can
be cured Of angular pcnnanship by tell
ing her that she and her handwriting
look alike.-Loston 1Tacei,r
"0ld Mr. Skinner is II very chari,nbl,
man, isn't he" "Oh, yes; of course
But if ever he casts his bread upon the
waters you bet he expects it to come back
sardinc sandwich. Tile Iafclet.
Jack must be learning a great deal"
said the fond mother; ''his college bill is
very high this month" Yes said
the old man, us he filed out check.
"cXperiencc IL dear, teacher "-Basar.
Citizcn-"Don't You known, All Sin,
that if You kill that enemy of yours you
will be hangedi" ALI Sin (vcngeful
laundryman-"No, alice lightee. ]
Sottec money. 60 loonec 'syum. -
PHILADELPHIA R,co,d.
Diner Out-"Waiter how is this2
have just discovered collar button in
my soup" Waitr-''Yes, sall-you's de
lucky man. We has prize soup on Mon.
days an Wednesday, A handsome pift
in every twentieth plate, sab, "-Oncs a
Week.
well, how did you enjoy yourself in
the Art Exhibitions" 'Oh, splendillyl
looked ut nobody's pictures but yours |
on see there We're always SO many pcople
standing before the other pictures, and
there was always plenty OF room by
yours. Ftiegende Blaetter.
Miss Lakeside-"Now, my dear, YOU
must come and spend month or two Of
The fall with us il: Chicago" Miss Emer
son toi Boston)-"You really think it
would be PLEASANT" Hiss Lakeside
Immense. Wa would havo regula,
hog killing time. "-Eyoci.
Mrs. Cousin Nancy writes
, to ask how wo like tho .timbrc' OF on,
new piano One would think big girl
like her ought TO know how to spell him
Der" MIR. l'asconl-''I should say so
We'll, you cin tell her it's rosewood. and
We like it first rate. - burlington IRE.
Pres:.
Servant-"Es the doctor ut homei"
Doctor-''T am the doctor" "You
are wanted at 1Li North Twelfth
street. iIr. Dc Mills is very
SICK. "Wait moment. please, un.
I'll | look up this new patient in Brad.
streets" (!i moment latcr) al am sorry,
my girl, but 1 cannot go with you. j
! have very important cali to make. y
Tine.
NJ. Bertin, one of ". Chcvreui's pupils,
excused his abscrcs from lectures by the
death of his father "My heartfelt sym
paihy," replied tho old savant A fort
night later, NJ. Bertin is absent again.
Tins time his excuse is that he has lost
ms mother-in-law. you are very care
less, young man!' answers his master
"you are always losing something or
other"