Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1889-07-26
DIEEERENT.

The difference between rye whiskey ant
ohloroform is that one makes man stse9er
and the other makes him limp.-Puek.
A Neighbor Sent Him.-He-"I'm tn,
piano-tuner, num-" She-"I haven't sent
for any piano-tuner." He-"Yes, mum, ]
know, mum; it were the gentleman next doc,
sent me here, mum. m."-Texas Siftings.
Here is one of the most atrocious that w
have ever come across. Speaking of Mr..
Pullman's love for his children punste,
says: "Owing to his palace cars he has
avoided being careless pa."-Chicago
Times.
A little knot of gentlemen seated in frsn,
of the Arlington last evening were discussing
literary matters. "By the way, senator, j
said one, "what book do you think has helped
you mosts" "Um-so-well, guess maybe
the pocketbook. ."-Washington Post.
Something New.-Mr. Highup (at break
fast t)-"Anything new in the paperi" Mrs,
Highup (who has had monopoly of the morn.
ing paper for half-an-hour)-ss Hard,
Cash & Co., are selling surah silks at half off, .
New York Weekly.
Insurance Agent-"But you must insure
in one of these companies" ooh, leave nae
alone: you can see well enough that am
going to the dogs" "To the dogsl The very
thing! He is company to insure against
the bite of mad dogs."- Fliegende Blatter.
'.My gracious, fraulein, you don't seem to
Do you know what that meanss ooh, yes,
quite well. 1t means that 1t is a very long
time since anyone of your family has done
anything worth doing. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
Gently Corrected: Miss Chatty Latte (of
Chicago, at the seaside)-"There goes crab.
What strange creature it is! Don't you
think so, Miss Somerset" Miss Somerset (of
Boston)-'It is passing strange, yes." Miss
Chatty Lafte-"You mean it is passing
strangely, no doubt. That's one on you, Miss
Somerset. Puck.
Mother-"Jennie, didn't I hear you say to.
night, "Mr. Brownlow, you make me tired,"
Jennie-"Yes, ma"
Mother-'Well, Jennie. I must say am
surprised at your diotion."
Jennie-"Is that so, maa What should I
says"
Mother-"Oh, well, You give me q pain,
or What kind of chump do you think I
anna' but never again use such an inelegant
expression as You make me tired. '"-Rooh-
ester Post-Express.
Little six-yesr-old Jenny, being permitted
to see his newborn baby brother-ffth boy
in the family-remarked:
"Mamma, I'm so glad 1t is boy"
'sWhy, Jenny, are you glad IFS boya"
"Because, mamma, we will soon have enough
for base ball team"
Chow many does it takea" asked the fond
parent, when Jenny innocentIy replied:
"Only nine, mamma"
This is q correct report of the conversa-
ton occurring between mamma and little son
in village near Philadelphia recently
Philadelphia Press.
How times have changed! A story is told
of an old resident of Marlborough, who, years
ago when Miles j. Fletcher kept store there.
was "pillar in the church." he had, how
ever, an appetite for strong drink. Fletcher
sold whisky by the jugful to nearly sll the
deacons, elders and class leaders. One day
the good old man aforesaid rushed into the
store nearly out of breath and very much in
"a hurry. "Miles," said he, tgive me two
gallins Of that there" Looking up he saw
the dominic, and he became confused. eyes,
Miles," he continued, CHATS what I said,
give me two gallins macksrel in that there
jug."-Kingston Freeman.