davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-03-27
MUSTANG | INIFNENT MUSTANG LINIMENT

rpr,sT PENErRA TEs SHOULD ALWAYS BE KEPT IN SHOE
N FF mo- HE VERY KITCHEN, STABLE AND tAO
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-03-27
sUNDRIRs

Rsgs-steady at Halle for white mixed
cotton; 3s3c for sl wool, and Halle for
mixed.
Fsathers-Choice IN original packages
35a50c; in small lots 4a5c extra.
Seeds-Cloyer, per bushel, choice S. %;
prime So so. Timothy, choice 81 IS;
prime 81 50. Extra clean blue grass S5c.
Orchard grsss, choice, 81 40; prime 81 30.
Red TOP soc. Demand strong.
H0ney-White clover per pound 13al5c;
pure strained 8s10c.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-03-27
InChauccry

Claude Ward and Bolivar Ward. In ChanC
her husband Annie Terry and
Joseph G. Brady administrator
with the Will annexed of 5OOi
L IL L. Il
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-03-27
WIISTRNG IMMINENT MUSTANG IMMINENT

X HEALS TNFIAMXATION, Old sDI,i
\ CAKFD BREASTS x INSECT bIIGS
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
An Editor Who Knows How 1t is Him
self

Speaking of editors, the case of the
editor who wants 10 contribute an artI-
Gle TO some other periodical than his
own-a magazine, for instances a
curious one. For the time being he
puts himself in the place of contribu-
tor, and feels the pangs of a timid au-
thor. The Listener once knew a news
paper editor who was inspired to write
an article of light and entertaining
character, suitable for magazine. He
wrote it in his odd moments, and then
set to speculating as to whether it had
any particular value 1t seemed to him
that it had, but the reflection that he
might be prejudiced in its favor
troubled him. He had had precisely
the same feeling when somebody had
brought him am article that he wanted
to Judge favorably. How was he to get
his own impartial judgment on his own
article? He thought about it some
time, and finally decided that the only
way to get the necessary conditions was
to send himself the article through the
mail, to receive it with other contribu-
tions, and to treat ii all the way through
as if it were somebody else's.
The plan worked TO a charm. The
editor wrote a little note to himself to
accompany the article, inclosed stamps
for a reply or return of the manu-
script, and mailed the whole at the
postoffice. Toward the close of the
day, when the editor was near the end
of lot of wearisome communications,
and had got himself into the declining
mood that comes with fatigue, his arti-
Gle arrived. After he had allowed it to
lie around awhile, he broke the seal
and read it Then he took little slip,
wrote on it refiectively, inclosed it with
the manuscript in big envelope,
stuck on the stamp. sealed the envelope
and put it into the compartment
marked "postoffice" in the tin box that
hung by the side of his desk. Next
morning he received the parcel back,
and read with breathless interest this
note, which accompanied the manu-
script:
Unavailable. Too discursive and
trivial in its tone. Should have been
elaborated with more care. Many pas
sages not needed in the presentation of
the idea. Contains promise, however;
author is advised to try again.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14

frst kew he could find and run chances:
Ra;ng 90 tired he disliked the idea o.
waIkinc upstairs, so he woke Ed. VI
once .f more and asked if the elevator was
rnnning. and Ed. replied sleeplly.
aDumfino." 1t suddenly occurred m
the stranger that he might wander a.,
over the house, climb four or five pan
of stairs, and at last, if he found the
room. get bounced just as he got int
into bed. so he tried once again, thu
time telling Ed. he would give him Q
dollar if he would get up and show hlm
q room. Ed at this bait struggled tc
his feet, and with no attempt to sup
press the gaps and yawns, led the way
upstairs, responding to the strangers
questions all the time with his dunn
fno.D The room was reached, the gas
lighted. and the man began to remove
his garments. ED. fused about ior
minute or two, and seeing that the dol
lar was not forthcoming and now beng
pretty well awake, said: "Say, where
Is that dollar?' The guest had Just
laid his vest under his pillow when ne
turned and, with some horrible contor-
tions, initiating Eds stretch and yawn
TO perfection, said in the same humble;
aDumfno. Chicago Herald.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
She Hit from the Shouider.

An Arab woman loaded down with
two or three bundles and baskets and
year-old baby and accompanied by q
voungster loaded with bundles boarded
the Z 10 train at Springfield this morn
lug. Nothing daunted by the looks OF
the other women occupants of the car,
her first act was to treat the infant to
its meal.
A tough-looking young man had fol-
lowed the family into the car and taken
a seat near the woman. He tried TO
start conversation with the boy, but
got little satisfaction, as the latter was
not able to speak much English. The
tough young mans ticket was to Chico
pee, but when that village was reached
he made up his mind to go further. and
having managed to find out from the
boy that this city was their destination,
paid the conductor for a ride here.
When this city was reached the family
disembarked. The woman slung the
infant up on her shoulder, the child
fastened its fingers in her hair and hung
on like a monkey. Then they started
of, bundles and all, down Canal street.
The tough youth had kept his eve on
them. and when they left the depot fol-
lowed them at a little distance until the
party had reached the vicinity opposite
the lower mills. Here the woman
stopped as if puzzled and looked around
her, apparently for some one to put her
on the right track. This was an oppor
tunity for the tough young man. and be
approached her and began to talk.
What he said could not be heard, but
the woman evidently did not like it, for
as he approached closer and familiarly
put his hand on her shoulder, she
dropped the basket she had been hold
ing in her left hand and gave him one
straight from the shoulder that stag
gered him. Only one, but that was
enough.
That tough young man wended his
way back to the depot somewhat
abashed by the laughter of those who
witnessed the episode. and when last
seen he was buying a ticket for Chico
pee.-Holy0ke Democrat
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
Not a Beard in Town.

4 stranger visiting Sylyania rlBnI
now would be amusingly impressed with
the similarity in appearance OF all lts
male inhabitants, and he would have
been much more amused had he WIT
messed the process by means OF which
they all reached this state of common
brotherhood.
1t was so dull the first part of the
week that even the honorable and time
honored "Sylvania Gas Company" be-
gan to show signs of falling into lnnocu-
Gus disuse and ceased to furnish Its
members with the usual enlivening
elixir of mirth. OF course something
had to be done; so few of the mem
bers decided that they would shave up
clean and have their heads clipped.
Our barber, Mr. H. r. Kemp, did the
work up in rare and rapid style. and the
boys were so we'll pleased with their
new selves that they magnanimously re-
solved to "do" the town up likewise; so
out they started on clipping expedi-
ton.
The first victim who walked into the
hands of the spoilers was a young man
with curly hair and quite long beard,
of which he was very proud. he
kicked" and swore, but it was no use.
He was escorted upstairs and in few
minutes. by virtue of his white head
and shining face, was a member of the
Mystic Circle of the Slick. Then the
fun commenced in real earnest No one
was spared.
Young men, old men and boys, just
as they happened to come along, We're
gathered into the fold. Some submit
ted meekly to the inevitable; some
pleaded piteously or threatened prose-
cution; some protested and struggled
violently; but the same fate awaited
them all alike-each came out with q
slick face and hairless head. When
the subject became too obstreperous
ore of the committee took the clippers
and moved furrow down the center OF
his head. This always had very quiet
ing effect, and the operation was then
performed without any further trouble.
One of our lawyers escaped several
times by fast running but finally came
out and gracefully surrendered ;
and he, too, now wears a white
head. Another lawyer outran an official
Of the county, and managed to save
his scalp for while.
The only man in town who did not
escape-if escape it can be called-was
young clerk who, when the Canvass
ing Committee was out on the warpath,
slipped up stairs and was quickly clip
ped, thus taking fate by the forelock, as
it were. Everybody is alike down here
now, and it is rare sight to see a citi-
zen with hair ON his head. One man in
this unique condition came into town
yesterday, and, from the way he was
stared at and followed around, one
would have thought he was John L..
Sullivan himself Our barber was into
the clique and did all the work for
nothing. OF course he will not do any
thing more in the hair-cutting line for
several months to come, but probably
he did not think of that, or was willing
to submit to the sacrifice for the fun
SUlUantd, Ga, Special,
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
LITTLE NANTES PRAYER.


rThe incident on which this poem is based
was an actual occurence-l
-Tell me a story, dear papa" little prattlei
said,
i want, so much, 10 hear just one before &C
And maTnma'd like to hear one. too-shed listen
For that would keep you home She cries when
you go out at night.
But he kissed the little prattler, and pretended
And then he kissed his sad young wife, who sat
And then he took his hat to 60 from babe and
As was his wont, night after night, to join in
wild carouse.
Once in the street he hurried on, of nothing TAX
Till he remembered, suddenly, that he had
changed his coat, -.
Leaving his poeket-book behind. 'This VIII not
sNo man who is without cent, can well keel
up spree.
So he turned upon his heel at once, ana nome
ward hastened no.
Arriving there he turned the latch, and entered
Then like thief he stole up stairs, his Wallet tC
When suddenly he met a sight which fired
heart and brain.
There in the irelight's soft glow he saw his
Mamie sweet
KneeIing, with dimpled hands appraised, at heI
sad mothers feet
And he heard her angel voice lisp forth the
simple evening prayer
That he had uttered, when child, beside ms
mothers chair;
~Now lay me down 10 sleep,
l pray thee, Lord, my soul TO keep
II / should die before wake
pray thee, Lord. my soul 70 takeF
Now say, God bless papa, Mamie the sad
faced mother said.
God bless papai7 the child replied, as dropped
her sunny head,
aAnd send him sober home" the mother whis
Though this remark the eager-listening father
did not hear.
But Mamie heard it plainly, so raising her fan
head,
sAnd send him sober home, dear Lord, she in Q
loud voice said.
The listener could bear no more He gave q
sudden start,
And rushing in he caught the little angel to his
heart.
why, here is papa now, mammaP she cried
with childish glee, 80
Il really believe he has come back to stay Win
you and me !"
And then she added archly, in startled under
tone.
Il biieUe God answers just quick as any tele
phone
-Nelo York Weekly.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
A Strong Writer.

stephen" said the Colonel, speak
ing to an old negro, who had come to
cut the grass in the yard, II am told
that you intend to give your son a good
education"
Oats whut / does, sab. / knows
whut it is ter struggle erlong widout
l'arnin', and is 'termined dat my son
shan't travel bar foot ober de same
flint rock road dat did.
a noble resolution, Stephen. There
is something beautiful in the unculti-
waited mind that has reverence for
knowledge. Is your boy learning rap
idly?~
"Ez fast ez er boss ken trot, sab
Wy, last week he writ err letter ter his
aunt dat libes mo- den twenty miles
frum we're, an after while he gwine
write ter his udder aunt dat libes fifty
miles erway."
why doesn't he write to her now 2"
"Oh, he KANT write SO fur yit. He
ken write twenty miles fust-rate, but I
tole him not ter try ter write fifty miles
till he got stronger wild his pen. But he
gwine to git dar, l tell you. Won't be
mon er year TO dat boy kin set down at
one eend o. de guberment an write Sr
letter cl'ar ter de udder eend. "-Ar-
kdnsdlC 1rdreler.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
Little Hasty.

Husband Ito wife)-I expect an Off
Ger will be around to arrest me pretty
soon.
Wife (anxiously)-wkat have you
done?
Husband just gave Jockey lick
ing.
Wife-What for?
Husband-He said that Gambet was
gambler, and that was no better.
Wife (as sudden thought comes to
her)-Is it not likely that he was only
joking? You know how witty he is
sometimes
Husband-I don't know what you
mean.
Wife-Why, when he said that Gam
bet was gambler, and you were no bet
ter. he meant Just what he said-that
you were no better better, one who
bets, or wagers.
Husband-Confound him, yes, an
other one of his jokes. 1 was a little
hasty, perhaps; ! ought to have waited
for him to explain.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
Modern Maste of HeaIth.

Our elaborate code Of bylaws for the
suppression of holiday recreations can
still be circumvented by the resources
of opulence, and the well-known hope
lessness of any other expedient has
stimulated race for wealth which does
not hesitate 10 attain its object at any
risk of social or sanitary consequences.
The number of infants which the super
stition of the Ammonities sacrificed to
Moloch is a mere trihe compared with
the multitude of children now devoted
to far more cruel fate by being liter
ally drudged to death in crowded fac
tories to enable millionaire to save a
few dimes on his weekly payroll and
add few per cent to the exhorbitant
rate of his yearly profits.
In times of general scarcity the
market has been drained of its scant
supplies by spectators trying to coin
gain from the distress of their fellow
men and risking, after all, to be foiled
by the decay of their boarded stores or
their destruction by fire or food. Quack
nostrums, which not one intelligent man
in hundred would privately hesitate
to pronounce infinitely worse than
worthless, are sold by shiploads and
carloads to disseminate disease and the
seeds of the stimulant vice, and the
saints who contribute thousands to in
sure the theological soundness of the
Quaggalla Hottentots do not care
enough for the physical health of their
countrymen to whisper a word against
the lawfulness of the infamous traffic. -
Popular Science Monthly
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14

rustics stared amazed at the suddenness
and daring of the feat. dozen
weapons were raised, but none were
fred. Tom Rose leaned down with
slow motion which, while deliberate,
had no loss of time, took gun from the
farmer nearest him, and carefully BENT
his eve along tine barrel just as the out
law placed his hands upon the farther
garden fence. As the agile body lifted
in a graceful bound to clear that last OBJ
struction, the rifle commanded Haiti
Over the heads of the rural enforcers
of the law the bullet sped, singing
across the beds of bloom, and carried to
TO the horse-thief Tom-Rose's receipt in
full for his bleeding ankle, that tattered
hat brim.
The horse-thief dropped without
cry into fragrant couch OF mint.
When they reached him his lawless
course was run. He had been swept
unshriven into the presence of recti-
tude outraged, and closed with his
wasted life the last chapter in States
UNPUBLISHED lawlessness.
Tom Rose went home with his neigh
bors, saw the man he had beaten down
with rope securely locked in prison,
and then went back to the uneventful
life of farmer. But the spirit of that
wild night ride, that unhalting chase
after beast that had turned at bay and
bitten him.-the spirit of pursuit and
capture-would rise beside him when
the days were long and beckon to other
and swifter races. But across the
tempting would always come the vision
of a human being dropping with
death wound into fragrant rest by the
side of garden; the recollection that
somewhere soul was waiting for
body which his hand had covered
with sod,
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
He Read the Bible.

Johnny's mother was rather proud of
her skill in the haircutting line, and
was very fond of showing it, much to
Johnny's disgust. Being years old he
was disposed to patronize the barber.
The other day when his mother was
making preparations which usually pre-
cedes the terrible ordeal which he knew
was to make him the laughing stock of
his playmates, he remarked:
Mamma, I'm not going to have my
hair cut to-day"
what do You mean, Johnnie?"
II cannot allow it, ma I'm really
afraid It's dangerous.
What on earth are you afraid of,
child?"
why. mamma, said the precocious
youngster backing into a corner, I'm
surprised at you. Didn't you ever hear
what happened to Samson because he
LET a woman cut his hair?"
His mother was so thoroughly as
tonished that he made his escape to the
street before she could say another word.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
One Too Much ror the NIght Clerk.

A good story is told Of Ed. Kennedy,
the night clerk of the Leland. 1t was
some time after he was installed in his
present position before he could entirely
throw off the provincial habits he had
acquired while clerking in a hotel in
Burlington, Iowa, where he could sleep
the greater portion of the night and sell
dom be disturbed. The first night he
was on watch at the Leland a gentle
man came in very late and wanted q
room. Ed. was fast asleep, and it was
with some difficulty the man could
arouse him at all. When he had par
tally succeeded he asked if he could
get room, and Ed. with stretch and
terrible yawn, mumbled out dunn
fino, and sank back in his chair. The
stranger was tired and he wanted to go
10 bed so he shook Ed. once again and
asked him where the night porter was,
to which Ed. again replied with a yawn
that discounted the last one, s.Dumfno. >
The would-be guest became desperate,
and he resolved to help himself. He
put his name on the register and went
70 the key rack, resolved to take the
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
No Social Bar.

Madame, / will thank you for a
piece of your justly celebrated pie, "
said the tramp with low courtesy.
you viii get no pie here replied
the woman.
is there any good reason why can
not get pie here.
~There is"
Name it.
~We have no pie"
Very well. That's frank and hon
est. But it would have panied me to
hear your say there was any social bar
to my partaking Of pie at your hands, =
and he moved on to the next house.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14

A Grabbed old bachelor, who teaches
school not far from Austin, was very
indignant at little Johnny Flapiack
the only son Of Mrs. Flapjack and she 3
widow-for coming late.
Il couldn't help coming late. sobbed
Johnny.
Why not ?"
Because ma has done beer and got
married. and / had to wait FOR ny break
fast.
Got married, has she2 ANYTHING T.
make ron late at school, What wont
she do next. wonder25
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
A ROYAL Wit.

How are the crops doing said the
Gar to a favorite at court.
Pretty fairly, your highness," was
the reply, although in some quarters
the people are complaining Of too much
reign.
Let them take twenty years in ST.
IBERIA to dry up. answered his Majesty,
who is quick at repartee. Time
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14
PITH AND POINT.

TEAcHER-Who was Capt. Cook?
Small Boy-Mr. Delmonieo.
Can q waistcoat maker be said to
have a vested interest IN his BUS
mess?
ELECTRIC wires seem to be Of such
ouick-tempered mettle that it Is danger
Gus to cross them.
SALT LAKE CRY has q mule that can
count. No one ever heard OF mule
multiplying, however.
THE great trouble with the pug as
professional beauty is that hls skin IS
made to fit shorter dog
/. TEMPERANCE LECTURER Friends,
how can we stop the sale OF liquor?
Milligan lin rear ofhall Give it away.
THERE is talk of railroad bridge
across Behring Strait, and engineers are
reading everything Behring on the sub
ject.
NoRA-An' has your mistress good
taste? Bridget Good taste, Is it?
Faith her dresses look better on me
than do my own.
UMpIRE-Three balls. Mr.. Mosen-
stein-Hey, key! Hear dot yot he
saw den? key Keep still, yader
You is giving yourself away.
IT would take only two seconds to
lick the best man in the ring-ff the
seconds knew their business and jumped
on the best man at the same time.
OMAHA TEAcHER-Can any of the
class explain to me why the way of the
transgressor is so hard? Omaha Spark
Il guess it's cause its Travelled SO
much.
FIRST Omahan-And did she return
your love? Second Omahan-She did
even better than that. She returned
the ring | gave her and all the letters
/ had written.
SAID the faxen-haired maiden to the
dapper young man behind the counter:
s'Have YOU any nice soft muslin that
will suit my complexion and hair"
Bleached or unbleached?
FRENcHMAN (proudly)-You have not
in re German Empire anything so tall
as re great Eiffel Tower. German Tin
dignantly)- No; und you don't got
holdings SO shtoud like Limburger
cheese!
JOHNNY had been carefully brought
up; anybody could see that. One daY
he sat upon his fathers knee in a
crowded tramcar. A lady entered
Madam" he said as he rose to his feet,
~take my seat.
"OH, wha. a charming plant" ex-
claimed a visitor, and his hostess re-
piled, Yes, it belongs to the begonia
family" "Why, no." said the youngest
daughter, cit belongs to the Brown fam
lily, and they have lent it to us for the
evening
Two ladies were sitting by an open
window while the choir was practieing
in neighboring church How loudly
they sing tonight" said one. Yes,
returned the other. thinking of the
crickets in the grass; "and tits said they.
do it with their hind-legs'
LADY Visitor in Hospital-Poo man !
How he groans. What is the matter
with him, nurse? Nurseries got the
delirium tremens. Lady Ito MAINLY
friend, you should give up strong drink.
Don't you know that you would be
happier and have more pleasure with
out it? Patient-Don't know about
that, mum I've been seeing circuses,
and menageries, an snakes, an monkeys
with pink tails for two days, an didn't
have to pay to get in, nuther.
MOTHS AND TRUSTS
Lay not, my son, your Albert coat,
Where greedy moths are gay and risky,
Nor put your trust in any Trust
OF sugar, skewers, lead or whiskey;
For moths viii gnaw where'er they settle,
And Trusts corrode the brightest metal
Puck
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1889-11-14

4 LITTLE boy who was spanked said
the sensation was thrilling to the ex-
IRENE