The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1889-04-03
How He Cured Cyrus.

How He Cured Cyrus.
@This ere athletics and gymnssiums is
all wrong said the old man, as he laid
down hrs paper and began 10 shuck
three piy peanut. @Pye had a sample Of
it in my own family. and l know how It
works.
Don't you believe in such exercises FOR
a young man -
wall. the exercise may be all right,
but the fellers git false ideas. into their
heads. Take my son Cyrus f'r instance.
Cy was little inclined to consumption.
and raythef encouraged gymnastics. Il
wasn't three weeks aiore he begun to git
sassy. gave him a lickin' one day. and
/ could see that he didn't take it kindly
He began to put on airs over his mother,
and when I cum to inquire around lee
tie I foun that Cy was on the box. He
was a-holdin' up hi. dukes and knockin'
the boys right and left / overheard him
taikin' 10 cur Billabout position, guard.
'breakaway, knockout. and sich, and
every day be got sassier and sassier. He
was IS years old, bu, allus lick my boys
till they are past 20 | saw that Cy was
goin' 10 buck. Thar was Bill and Tom
and Jerry to be affected By his example,
and felt that sunthin ortar be done.
One day We was hoein' corn, and Cy was
Off didn't mind it fur awhile, but by
and-by got riled and said
Seems to me, you ar achin fur a
likin'.
~Mebbe am, father he'replied, as
cool as ice, but / shan't git it. I've been
licked fur the last time.
Cause why . I asked
Cause I won't allow it,
'Then knew that the time had come
when he'd got 10 have sunthin' stronger
than hoss medicine. He'd got the big
head on him tremenjus. and it was then
or never
suppose We walk over to the barn
Cy% I kearlessly remarked as finished
a row.
q" tie said he was my huckleberry. and
We dToppel our hoes and went. When
we got inside we both began to peel by
mutual consent, and Cy carried a grin all
over his face. He'd bin pu; on to a new
upPer-cut two or three days before, and
he WAS calkeiatin' on spilin' my chawin
machine at the fust blow. He looked the
jim-landy as he squared of, and l ray
ther anticipated the wust- I never fit in
my life. but when We squered off 1 was
bound to down Cyrus. says /:
~'Cy, viii We quit yer Sass and knuckle
if don't lick ye?'r
"'And be said Father raise yer
dukes a. little higher, and look out fur
me -"
With that he tapped me on the store
room with one hand and cufIed my ear
with the other, in sailed. lie give NE
one on the tooth-box as l closed in, but
arter that the gate money was mine. l
throwed him into the manger, over the
fannin' mill, ond behind the granary, and
was goin 70 run him through the corn
shelter, when he hollered Enough . and
begged me 20 let up on him. 1t worked
a mighty sudden cure on him. Swellin'
all went out Of his head that night, and
~hen licked him with a eornstalk next
day he was as humble as a calf Gym
nastics IS al right up to a certain pint,
but when YOU git beyond it it's danger
Gus. S'posen hadn't come out on top
of Cy Why, sir he'd have been blufIin'
me outer the house by this time, and
probably had match on with Sullivan -
The man with the glass eve has the
great consolation that he is putting on
more style than his neighbor; he has
stained glass window to his soul.
"The cilurn must 20" says an agricul-
tursl exchange. OF course it must, in
order that the butter may come.
"Be sunny, girls, be sunny says Ella
Wheeler Wilcox We don't see hoW they
can, but they'd.aughter be.
The stallion Woodnut has been sold
for $4,000. We Wooduut have thought
it worth 50 much.
\ horse is unlike a man in one respect,
at least-he doe sn'i Ike 10 be backed up.
A misfortune much sought by young
men-A young heiress.
The elements are angry when the wa
terspout.
viii not necessarily hll-the girl in
slippers,
a little girls view oft Minerva V as
the Goddess Of Wisdom she never mar
RED"
Rolling s,ock-Caitle on board Of a
steamship in q storm.
The Rev. John Brown WAS in the habit
Of proposing on festive occasions GER
tain young lady at his toast. Having
abandoned the practice, he was asked for
a reason. because. he said. II have
toasted her for sixteen years without
making her Brown, aud so I've resolved
10 toast her no more"