The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-10-25

1&&aRzS&3
When men g|et on tights they
can barely keep their legs.
A man 10 not necessarily mean be.
cause cause b be !, viii aaj ju d on feather bed
Like many o ,olng man, nature
begins her fay by painting things
New York is having AZ much troub.
le in finding q fair site "a Pennsyl.
vania had in losing q dam site.
The boy who Was bent ON eating o
green watermelon was in the same
condition after he had eaten it.
SOUP A LA ia, CD uLD-Takea little
stock, six times as much water, and
then put in the lanlb.-Life.
We wish to esf omerairy that n
busted dam hi gthing to do with
n broken oat terre Haute Ex-
press.
How hard il T',ld be for great
man who is de4e come to life again
and live up memorials and
obituary address
The woman " carries her hand
kerchiefin her Cd lge should remem-
Der the fate Of IT, msn in tho fable
who warmed a wiber in his bosom.
The man who feels around in the
dark for q door, and gets an arm
on each side Oft, occupied the time
of %; a recording 1ngel for fully five
"Have you ieltslippers?" inquired
an old lady in shoe store. The
clerk, who was new ut the business
and young. answered, Eyes, ma'am,
many time"
"There," saidthe new lady OF the
castle. "are the caves of the former
owners ancestor. My ancestors"
she added, proudy, ''are all living"
-Harper's Magazine.
Brown-See her, teamster, l don't
want you to brig gravel and clay
and powders to illup this lawn with.
Teamster-What tn dickens does yer
want, then? BIZ pwn-Oh, nothing
but the earth.
she-"I do like p read Howells.
He-"I would rally like to know
why" "You don have to 60 to
any trouble to u X for your place.
You can begin IL the middle or ut
either end and it'll all the same"
Mother-"You ave drawn that
donkey very nicel johnny, but you
have forgotten o. thing. Where is
the tail?" j nny-"Oh, that
are no flies on NM"
Mamma" seld Tommy, as he
watched his little brother squirming
in the bath-tub, willie is like a piece
of flannel" whit makes you think
so" asked his mother. "Oh, be.
cause he shrinks when he's washed
Teacher-"H y,u had three oranges
and ate two, hoy many would be
left?" Scholar (5sitively)-"Nonev
Teacher-"Yes,i he would be left -
Scholar sss,s la. (dogee!lyl@- itwouldn't
That new fa5id ,ned contributions
box which regi ,rs the value of the
coin dropped INIT and announces
its value by a lrTfar ring of a gong
being the inW Jon of one poss-
essed by q devif two, will never
he popular inf churches.
"They tellmDf j are going away"
eyes; Pm goi Ito publish II news
paper in Ke1d Ky" "Have you
purchased yoy pc and press and
, SO ONT" "Neh I've just bought
IN elegant Webster rifle. Wash
,, ington Capitt
: Have n cieFcd said Boringbloke
= to Ogleboy. n thanks" answered
e Ogleboy, II It like the taste of
/ nic"- "Tlct4 not a nickel cigar,
!, sir" said Bo,i3loke, an lie turned
J, away in n hu. ore Ogleboy could
4 finish saying, he did not like the
n taste of nicot.m-
I Old lady (o,a e limited) -"Does
!, the train sto r. refreshments ut
!, Canesawagy" lter-"Yes, ma'am.
= !. Shall 1 telegraph order ahead for
7 you?" Old Ii g: "oh, no. I've got
:, n a lunch here: y bag, and l jest
wanted to kno when I'd have q
II chance to eat it
j Mrs. Briske-nnny, did the doc
It tor call while was out? Little
lie Johnny (stopg his play
IT Yes'm. He f my pulse and
g looked at my tSue, and shook his
d head and said ps a very serions
d case, and he / khis prescription
:. and said he'll cd Rin before night.
~ Mrs. Briske-Gr IS me! 1t wasn't
It. you sent hin see. 1t was the
g g baby
'e, 81 will bet vel new hat" said q
re gentleman, "tbS ou willcome down
10 out of that CT before l ask you
mt twice" Don, replied his friend.
l 4 "come down. AMI "a the other. 81
ed will not. "a he (iend, with much
rec obstinacy, id op till ask you
ed d second s" sdid the other. Per-
,re ceiving the never would be asked
nd u seconde, tina gentleman in tho
ed chair caEown in u double sense.
H. Tired N"William, I wish you'd
me- bring upscuttl] OF coal" Hus-
=, . band-'"s'e, til t's the way with
,sa women; avs exp ecting a man to
s a,; do n halfsozenN things at once.
*. Can't yoee Pm busy" You
,se didn't seco be Going anything ex-
ut, cept rumying around. haven't
T.. asked ym do Anything for about
kha | fhrQo VvQS AND flon I fold Nyn,, I'll