Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-03-08
DOWN In INDIANA.
Proceedings Of a School Meeting
in the Sugar Creek District.
Sundry Wise Comments on Love and Learn.
ing Which Ends in Six Cases of Assault
and Battery-A Picture of Rural
Life in Hoosierdom.

and Battery-A Picture of Rural
Life in Hoosierdom.
We've met" said Uncle Billy Raper,
when the house had come to order, ito 'lect
a teacher for our school this comm winter;
an want ter say right now that we want
! a teacher what kin teach-a teller what kin
| handle the big boys an make 'em behave,
an if they don't, why, dang 1t, l want
| him TO break their wuthless. blame necks.
We also want man (no woman kin teach
this school, nohow) who won't git head
over ears in love with one O. the big girls
and mako slam -bangin' fool o. hisse'f Ike
81 Miller did last year, courtin' Becky
| Chlttlck right durin' school hours"
| See here, Uncle Billy, dog my buttons,
/ hain't you gittin' leetle grain personal in
! your Introductory remarkss'' asked old
! Andy Chittick, rising to his feet as he
! spoke. Then, continuing, he said: Isl
| Mllers son-in-law Of mine now, an a
| purity do5-burned blamed Study Teller he is,
| too. He may have made sorter fool o.
! hisse'f while him an my Becky was spark
| in roun' each other, bat l want you TO
understan' he's all right now. Sides, tain t
| hardly fair to mention the matter nohow
| Look at your own gal, Uncle Billy. Didn {
! she marry Dock Beehsmmer, an didn't he
court her like thunder all that term he
| taught here three years agor'
Old Andy sat down amid considerable
laughter aud applause, while the chairman
Of the meeting grinned and good-humoredly
took the joke which had been rather abrupt
| ~ thrust upon him. After quiet had been
restored he continued his remarks Il low
l did make bad break then, but didn' t
mean nothin' pussonal by it. though I'd
orter been a mite more keerful. But the
pint is, we want cur young uns TO be a
IearDin' somethin' sides fun an&evllment,
an what said was more spesnully intend
Ell for some of our young friends who are
mere tonight as canerdates for this school -
LESS hear from 'emr' exclaimed old
Billy Miner, as he emptied his mouth of to-
bacco juice on the red-hot stove, the angry
Kissing of which nearly drowned the speak
er's tones. II see,' he continued, now
rising to his feet, "that my friend. Josh
Bates, is here, an, as he Is er canerdate, I'd
bike ter hear him toot his horn a few blasts"
In response to this invitation Mr.. Bates,
long. gaunt. awkWark-looking soecimen
or humanity, arose from his seat in the
back part Of the room, and after prelim-
mary cough or two, said:
Gentlemen, it's true I'm not married !;
but l reckon I'm old enough to know better
than to go to maxim fool O. myself,
courtin' a girl durin' school hours. I'd list
like to say that if you 'lect me as your
teacher contract to tend to my business Of
learnin' your children all l kin an let the
big girls alone"
de sat down amid some applause and cries
OF Bully for Bates" Hes the teller we're
AFTER etc
THAT sounds like business" said the
chairman Of the meeting. But now we'd
Ike ter hear from some of the rest of 'em.
Come, gentlemen" he added, L" git right I'D
and speak your pieces, and then Wen put
this thing to a vote"
Three other candidates were present, and
in turn they each got and frankly avowed
that the big girls had no charms for them,
during schoo! hours, at any rate, and that,
if elected, they would bind themselves to
keep order and teach the children some
thing else "'sides fun and devilment."
When the last of the candidates had
spoken Uncle Billy Miner arose and said:
Il move that Josh Bates be 'lec.ed unan-
imously to teach the Sugar Creek school
this comm winter"
Hold on, Uncle Billy, amt you gittin'
little too raIabunctiousr asked old Andy
Chituck, as he rose to his feet. Pears
ter NE It amt givin' these other young
fellers fair show. I move that we perceed
by ballot, Mr.. Cheerman, to 'leot a teacher.
l want ter see this thing done up right or
not al ALL
Mr. Cheernan," yelled Uncle Billy
Miner, my notions afore the house That
Old fool on the other side of the stove il
a-tryin' ter run tins neetin', an I'll be
hanged if he kin do 1t while an round. a
man that's too derned mean to give fences
with q neighbor can't pull with me, and
that settles il. As said bef-"
But he did not finish the sentence Old
Archie had walked around the stove, aid
with well-directed blow, delivered Just
behind the ear. had knocked Uncle Billy
half across the room. Confusion now en-
sued. In less than minute the whole
crowd was at it, fighting like pirates
boarding a merchantmen. The chairman
wisely stood at his post and pounded and
yelled for order, but he did not attempt to
exercise his Official functions to secure
of hostiities. Tbs meeting, it is |
almost needless to say, adjourned without |
electing q teacher.
From the local columns of the Middle /
Fork Gazette we take the following:
= It's q cold day when Sugar Creek town. 4
ship doesn't furnish the columns Of the I
Gazette with an item worth printing Here /
Is the latest from that section: Last Sat /
urday night school meeting was he'd At /
the Sugar Creek school-house, which Is sit /
uated on one corner Of old Billy Miners /
farm. During the meeting, which was VI.
usually lively throughout Uncle Billy and /
Old Andy Chittick had few words. which |
ended n first kuock-down for Chittick |
Uncle Billy, however, won first blood by /
biting OF goodly portion Of ueishbor Chit
ticks leftesr. Others then took sides, and
after free fight for about fifteen minutes
he chairman declared the meeting ad-
burned Monday morning SIX cases Of as
'ault and battery and SIX for provoke were
lied before Squire Martin. and Will be
Tled some time next week
"Later--An item Just az hand SAYS that |
he trustee of Sugar Greek township has |
lired Hett.e Boggs TO teach the Sugar
Ireek School Ed. r Priachard, in Ar !
znnsaw TrsveIsS
Spontaneous Combustion.