New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-09-15
THE DOWN-STAIRS DIVINITY.
AN OVERTURE TALE OF PHILOSOPHICAL
HOUSEKEEPING.

HOUSEKEEPING.
| TO The EdttOr oJThe Trfbune
sir: II seems TO me that the servant question has
dropped into innocuous desuotude,7 and this IS the
more strange as, like the poor II Is always with us.
II one could only look at the subject In a studlous
hght ana not as domestic calamity (toO often the
eaSe)' what marvellous store of Instruction and
amusement could be derived. That is the way 1
started out / made It rule to scold, but TO
drop gentle hints For instance II the coffee was left
all night standing in the tin boiler ! would, after
mentioning that fact with effect quietly place the
boiler I'm the middle OF the kitchen floor. Another
rule was TO overwhem bad temper by argument. This
is noble weapon, especially if you divide the bone Of
contention into major and minor premises, and so
prove the consequence Generally the result IS very
good. The hired girl, so called, Mark Twain
marks, because her wages lowered, relapses
into state like unto coma, and is very cautious Of
provoking another logical sequence. Another rule
not to be patient forgving, II 1t could possibly be
avoided these two qualities the root Of all evils
In domestic economy. They to It what bribery and
corruption TO political economy. If the maiden
does not suit tell her sweetly once, and
one she won't go until turned out.
one young creature had a decided objection to
dusting So had 1. But 1T had to be done. l gave
her several hints, such as writing her in the
dust on the piano, manelpieces and tables but they
were not taken, so ! told Milly that I was ac
customed TO having my furniture busted and did not
care to change the habit. so she must find place
where they liked the poetry of ages better than 1.
don't think WILL" she said, this place suits me
very we'll l guess l won't change" was aghast,
but firmly insisted that when her time was up she
must 60. The day came, but Mllly was pursuing her
usual tasks. " Have you sent for an expressmanP
Nom ! don't want one. What for?' To take your
things away u told you did not care TO change.
and, l amt doing nothing to hurt anyone, you can't
turn me out" yes you This is my house and
you are a trespasser the moment your time was out
/ am going out to send a man for your trunk. and
II you do not CO. he will telephone for policeman"
When returned the coast was clear
l was very highly favored the first year OF house
keeping in my study Of kitchen life and l enjoyed it
thoroughly At luncheon Judge Smiths wife re-
marked in heartIbroken tone that the cook she had
had for fourteen years had gone home for VISIT add
ing: " / feel really helpless Only one COOK IN
fourteen years?' gasped. How sorry l am for you
What lots of fun you have missed Why Pve had
fourteen in this one year"
One morning was awakened by banging In the
kitchen about a. IN. Presently the cook passed my
door and returned in a few moments. She tapped ana
exclaimed in an angry Tone "Pm going, Mrs ---.
can't stand more than dog for anybody ana these
two puppies has tore my kitchen upside down."
heard chuckle from my husband, so gayy caiieu OUT
"GOod-by, Eliza; you arc quite right Ooou n'oA
IN Won Eliza changed her mind and got BREAKFAST
but told her could not have the dogs killed much as
! would LIKE TO accommodate her. as they "ore "o''u
about two hundred dollars; so we parted
Nv next was treasure. She was a remarAaO'o
woman 7 am sure brains were left out Of her com
nos,tion. hut I never needed to tell her anything
She seemed to know by instinct, and verythihg was
done with mathematical regularity heF cooA'"e
was excellent. This was case, thihk "noro no'
ancestos had beer hardworking people for geheraIo
and had beoueathed to Rose the legacy without the
intellect She really was machine. nllIhip'u
also nrized nv level and cooked my goose by taxing
- ,,, ,oose ~ a cook Then five ladies spent
a week each with us and received the ohd Diessihs
about - shedding the parting guest" one OF these
factotup,s left Turkish rug out all night afer sweep
ING and I remarked Frances, that rug Is ruined
l am not accustomed TO having my rugs used a lawn
CARPETS and as l do not care to chahge NY ways
YOU must find some one who likes youIs' an
psbaw now Mrs ---. wouldn't DC so par'I''"d'
about an old faded rug like that You forget your
self sometimesn Certainly; but If were we'll
,,rod soryant should not forget duties like that"
Pm not servant for nobody" "hat are you
silence. broken by It's use In our talking MrS'
- We keep on insulting each other, ana / II get
my mother to make you pretty new rag rug III Pl'oo
Of that old faded thing" l declined.
Then a mothery old black woman, 50 black you
could not see her face In dim light only the WHITES
of her eyes made me fear the millennium was near
i
mulatto, and quite young about twenty ior
week things ran smoothly, but one evening we were
startled bv q shrill scream and sally appeared III
the door and beckOncd me. sue sa'u
tho cook was trying to get III INC
dnlngroom to kill her because she had toIu hcr sno
looked about forty years old. Sure enough oiu ia'
Nanny was trying 10 squeeze heiseH lHiOuen '"0
slide for the dishes, as the doors were locA9u /
autered back 10 her perch and returned to my guests
About an hour aferward the portiereS were thrown
open and Nanny rushed IN yelling, ""hars 'not
little waller face? Ill teach her how TO can IoA9
names folks as has got honest black shiS No Po |
white blood IN me Ise proud my parents was ho"eS'
More she fain would have said but the mefces' manu-
Of King Alcohol smote her upon the muscles anu she
fell in a heap. Moral; Whom finished WIN ".hc9
and brandy peaches lock them up. No" thS H'.i9
incident was a charming break in quiet evening, aiu
am sure my friends enjoyed IT, E''H "'" ~
Wa E rd FeSe1 were scarcely worthy Of
special notice, only Nine DrOhe Cue ga r. ,raS
.eplaced IL with a twenty -hve-cent one zen "@S
.oiored hell Who t,sed much powder. she was IN |
suited because III the course OF an aisunlehit nv
/ commenced on the subjet Of jndciou' pOwdenhg l !
aid Thai n would be quite a. sensible IN me TO cover
my face with shoe polish a. ioI heF u Pa y Iaving
sud as also was afflicted that way and dd not care
o hire extra instrument We asie to ART With
ny husband but on that point also was selfish, sn.
hough he thought ii fun, did not re t, "0'9 ,od
he gentle creature that ! was used to lghuhg my
husbands cigars myself, and that she must nhu q
husband for herself borrow one from p 5ason
nor,. genernus than l. Thrteen-that fatal hummer
et the house on fire. upset dish of hot cusiau Over
ny hand brought In a huge platter OF boleu W ~
aron for dessert al one my little dinners, in leu
Il macarons. and had three husbands These tn.eee
happened TO meet summer evening III our us
ard and explanations were very much IN dehldli'
ring was formed the population from the alleys al
AGENT assembled and the spOuses sailed IN "nt ~
nv husband and ] returned, about IL p. m, me
Imult had reached the ear Of the policeman for that
eat and he was marshalling the three thWarlen
tbeilos through a hole In the back fence a. we
slrered the front gate. Really 1t was lots OF fun
md these are only a part Of my various scenes,