davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

do not want to. NY chores are all done. I
have copy enough On the hook to last d
week. l am out Tor the day, old man. am
out for the day, and we can have sport if
you say the word. We can frOlic over the
hlIlsIdes as the suspicion of mignOnetCe and
goats come athWart the reeling senses.
know where the book beer grOweth rankest
and the caviar sandwich with cod liver oil
and catfish roe into it doth most abound.
Come with me, Mr.. McAlister. and let the
tall go with the hide. as one may say.
You are a low, caWse person" said he,
langutdly, and say again thatI will not
detain you"
why are you so morbid about this mat
ter Of detentiOn?" 1 queried. you are not
OBTAINING me. I am soaking my soul in
dolce tartnas Mae l do not need to go
back to the Office Ill Saturday, and, in fact.
l do not need to go there even then, for I
have an order in for q weeks pay. Let Us
be gay, Ward, if 1 may call you thus. Let
US be free from care. You can take your
coat on if you feel better that way while
am here. You need not fold your.red sole
leather gloves so as to make the fingers
STICK out OF your breast pocket like the
hand Of a drowning man ordering five more
peers, unless you want to do so. Be your
self for day or two, Mr.. McAllister, and
come with me"
Il thank you, sir, but have other duties.
Your tastes are gross and caWse, You are
a caWse man. You only carry one hand
kerchief at a time, instead of two. We
carry one in our hip pocket for using pur~
poses, and wear one in our outside pocket
think of nothing but patient toll. You are
cawse Your umbrella is gross and
paunchy. I do not like you. Go away"
do you mean that?"
YES, Of cawse. I do, I don't want to be
rude to you, but you offend me. You wear
a soft hat and you hold it in your hand like
a new bawn baby. You try to conceal yaw
hands by sitting on them, and you are just
aWfully caWse. 1 never heard of you befaW
in me life. You are just as rude as can be-.
and [ will not detain you"
Thank you, sir now thoroughly incens-
ed, 4 will go away. I see your method. You
draw me out in conversation, and then after
have told you all know you say you will
not detain me. You say it several times.
coUrteOUsly, and then, because I am shy and
ratified, you call ne 'caWse.' I would be
ashamed to treat anybody that way, Mr.. Nc
AIlister. 1 would not treat my own wife that
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12
woman.

ACCORDING to a Washington CORES
pondent of the Cincinnati Commercial
Gazette, an interesting not to say yaIu-
able discovery has been made by Capt.
Weedin, in charge of the animals at
the Zoo. The building is infested by
rats, and how to get rid of them has
long been a perpIexing question. Traps
were used, but nothing would tempt
the rodents to enter. In a store-room
drawer was placed a quantity of sun
flower seeds, used as food for some of
the birds. Into this drawer the rats
gnawed their way, fact which led the
Captain to experiment with them for
bait in the traps The result was that
the rats can't be kept out. A trap
which appears crowded with six or
eight rats is found some mornings to
hold fifteen. They are turned into the
cages containing weaseIs and minks.
The latter will kill a rat absolutely al
most before one can see it, so rapid are
its movements. The weaseIs are a
trifie slower, but none of the rats es-
cape them,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

the time Of Looey the L. and so came to
this country. Still there is no royal blood
in our veins. We can say that truly. We
have been a great family for hauteur and
reserve, and we can truthfully say that no
d1ssclute monarch has ever been lie to
Introduce his scrOfUlOus tendencies into
our family tree.
wei. sir" said the great head Of the
Crest Trust. Il do not care to know es-
pecialiy what your history may be. or the
history of your tribe, sir. am not inter
ested in the matter. Moreover was Just
going out. sir.
$50 was I in minute. if I am not detain-
ing you, I said, as ran my arm playfuliy
thE0ugh MS ana IooEed up INTO his clear
cold eyes. Just wait a little while. and
viii go with you. We can stroll alOng to-
gether anon. Do you not like anon2 AS q
social word, mean. Not as a business
term. Of course. but as kind of snapper
On the end Of a society tete- a-tete2-
-Ah, yes. GOOD. Good, indeed. But I
viii not detain you.
You are not OBTAINING me. Mac. You
couldn't detatn me If I wanted to go. But I
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

The fact that Rev. Mrs. Ellen
Rinkle, of Wooster, Ohio, is qualified
to perform marriage ceremonies is not
likely to cause any Immediate decrease
in the number of wedding fees received
by the male ministers of the town. It
will take time for people to become ac-
custO1ned to being married by wom-
an, just as it took them long while
to get used to the idea that female
doctor could dose them as successfully
as man. Custom is strong, and they
will find it as hard to believe that they
are properly tied as they did to realize
that they we're really cured by a
woman.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

wishes he could split up his knowledge and
give the slivers of thought and experience
TO the poor.
The blase young man.never had any real
fun in his life. Even his attempts to be
real bad were disappointments. He will
criticize his harp when he gets it, and get
his crown stretched before he will wear it.
He viii also speak Of the dampness of the
cloud he is sitting on and make sarcastic
remarks because he cannot wear pockets
stitched on the outside of his robe, or fly
about with a shaWl-strap full Of canes
knocking the brains out Of other celestial
people, or picking their eyes out and wear
Ing them away on the ferrule Of mis- UNI
breIla,
The biase young man never laughed
heartily, even as a child. Nature dis
appointed him. The little lambkins we're
untidy and the grass took the polish off his
shoes. He criticised nearly all forms Of
vegetation. Throwing a dressing gown
hastily over his shoulders, while waiting
for his clothes to be aired and put on him,
he looked at the doctor on the first evening
Of his appearance with a keen, searching
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

The States so fortunate as to be out
of debt are Illinois, Wisconsin, Della
ware, West Virginia and Colorado. West
Virginia is prohibited by her constitu-
tion from going into debt. California
and Iowa have no debt to settle, though
paying interest on a school fund. Ken
lucky is nearly free from debt. New
York owes 1000, 600, Ohio and Mime
sofa less than $4,000, 600, New Jersey
and Kansas less than 50, 600, 600. yir-
ginia is the most heavily burdened,
having a funded debt of over 1913, 600, =
600, and an unfunded debt Of over
S., 600, OOO Massachusetts, carries the
next heaviest debt, over S31, 900, Goo
Next comes Tennessee, $4,000, coo (;
Pennsylvania, $15, 600, 600; North Caro-
lima, $13,OOO,0OO; Louisiana, $12, 600, :
goo, and Maryland, 81, 100000 The
total Indebtedness of all the States is
1920, 900, 600, which is less than 1 per
cent. Of their aggregate taxable prop
erty The rate of taxation is heaviest
in Nevada, Nebraska and Louisiana.
And though Massachusetts stands sec
ond in the size of her debt, she has the
lowest rate of taxation In the Union
less than % cents per 800
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

began to notice Whiskers bursting forth
from their lair2'
do you mind telling me what you refer
to he again asked cOIdly. taking a crest
from his hip pocket and rubbing il with a
nail-brush.
Il refer to this scheme Of limiting the
class Of American blOOded trick jackasses
to 100 Did you think of it yourself, or did
some newspaper man put the idea In your
headP-
I owe nothing to the press, Mr.. Al
Mr.. Al
@Eye is my name-N-y-e. Mr.. All was
my partner EIr. Ali Sin. OF California,
formerly Of Hong Kong. Ny name is hTys
We come from the De Nyss. who got some
foreign substance on theLE escu6eheons in
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12
Ameriean Social TErannE.

The social demand is that each one
shall suppress his individual VIII or
opinion and conform to the social usages
of his set. If they drink. he must
drink if they gamble, he must gamble !;
If they smoke, he must smoke; if they
eat late suppers he must eat late sup
pers. Whatever the vices of society
are, he must indulge IN his full share
Of them or be ostracized and called a
fool. This sort Of tyranny is written
large ali over American society. -BOs-
ton Herald
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

way. I come in here in a quiet, off-hand
way, and try to make you teel easy with
me- and you take advantage of it. I put on
a gay, debOnair and naive air in your house,
which I really do not feel at all. I do it so
you will not feel that you must entertain
me. I do not intend to stay to dinner. but
just come here to have a talk as between
man and man, about one thing or another,
and you sit up there on the edge Of your
chair like a snowman with hoe handle for
a spinal column, and expect me to be easy
and graceful in my manners. I cannO' do
it. I am not used to it. Wherever I 20
am cOurted and feted and made much of.
In all the gay cSnGers Of young and Joyous
lie, there you viii find me. with my little
bon mOts and repartess Here. in the pres
ence of a StOughtOn bottle, a bump on a log,
a dy-up-the-creek, cannot think Of any
thing to say. So I appear at a disad-
vantage, and know it just as
well as you do. feel all the time
every little while, just as you begin to show
the amalgam filing In your back teeth.
felt somehow all the time that ] was pos
sibly boring you, because I know how it
0Ores afeebie-miRded person TO follow the
swift fight of those who think thoughts. I
am sorry. I am panied 10 know that have
annoyed you. Mr.. BcAllister, for YOU look
worn and haggard. as II you might have
been out last evening, and perhaps over
brayed yourself.
I then passed rapidly from his sight. in
frenzy of my wrath I vent out the wrong
door so that soon found myself IN the
kitchen. So I stole out through the wood
shed, eating as I went a cold Goldfish ball
which 1Ir. McAlister he'd no doubt attend
ed the evening before.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

PRINCE FERDINAND of Bulgaria may
be depOsed, but viii not probably be
kidnapped as his predecessor was.
Three hundred young men have voIun-
tarily formed themselves into a body
guard and sworn to defend him to the
death. Their badge is a deaths head.
and they are armed with swords, re-
voIvers, and yataghans made entirely
of Bulgarian steel.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

Ex-senator JONES contempIates
writing an historical novel. The hero
viii be a young plebeian, who attained
70 a place in the Roman Senate, and is
the victim of a big conspiracy. All Of
his family is murdered, and he takes
refuge in Mesopotamia. The great
bishop Of Constantinople turns the
power Of the church to his aid. The
denouement of the story, the Senator
says, viii deal with the intensely in
teresting details Of a miraculous deliY-
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

SAYS a Washington correspondent (:
ut is regarded here as very creditable
to Mrs. HarrisOn's good feeling that she
has on the mantel Of her boudoir a pho
tOgraph Of the amiabIe mother and
daughter who preceded herself and
daughter as the ladies of the White
House. It is a picture taken by Prince
several years ago only for private circu-
latiOn and never allowed by Mrs. CIeve-
land to be sold.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

THE United States monitor Mianto-
nomah is to have two large American
made guns with an estimated range of
ten miles. Uncle Samuel is becoming
as pretentious as the other fellows re
garding the caliber and carrying quail
tiles of his pops"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

The new American navy, when com
pleted, VIII consist Of twenty-five yes
sells, ranging from the armored cruiser
Maine, carrying "A men, down to d
frst-class torpedo boat, carrying four
officers and eighteen men. There will
be 3, 786 men on board the twenty-five
vesseIs-5OO officers and 5,286 sailors
and marines.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

THE New York Herald wants every
body to wear knee-breeches-no, not
everybody; only the men. It says they
tend to conceal the deformity Of bow
legs. Thus is another reform" let
loose upon the world.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

A PHOTOGRAPHIC exhibition is now in
progress at the Crystal Palace, Lon
don, in which, according to the London
papers, a preponderance of the actual
or comparative novelties consists of
American inventions on sale by Eng
fish firms.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

A CRAZE for taking flowers to school
recently sprung up among children in
Athens, Ca, and eventually resulted
in so much extra work for the janitors
that an order excluding Bowers from
the cIass-rooms had to be issued.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

A COMPLETE list of the fora Of New
foundland and Labrador, in prepare
ton by Rev. A. G. Waghorne, will con
tain about 800 species of towering
plants, about fifty ferns, and over $50
MOSES and lichens.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

The value of dried potatoes as an ar
ticle Of food is urged by DR.. Jacov N.
Shmulevitch. Among the advantages
claimed is that It keeps much better
than the fresh potatoes, and being far
lighter and less bulky is more readily
transported. Before cooking, the dried
potato is macerated in water for ten or
twelve hours.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

A wIDE-AwAKE Oklahoma pilgrim,
who knew that people would have to
cross a river, made an impromptu
bridge by cutting down tree which
grew on the bank and mailing boards
to it. He charged ten cents toll, and
made lots of money.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

The leaning of British capitalists
toward American breweries p contra
dictory of the old English idea that
good malt liquors could not be made
in America, because they 'aven't the
ops, you know"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

THE failure of the Panama Canal
scheme seems to be absolute, and not
far from $3.50, 900, 600 have thus been
hopelessly sunk, while the sum neces-
sary to complete the enterprise is esti-
mated at 100000, 600 more.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

THE three thrifty men who settled
Newport, R. L, two hundred and fifty
years ago, hired the Indians to burn
off the brushwood from the present
site of the town, and gave them for
pay the brass buttons on a coat.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

ACCORDING to Philadelphia "medi-
INNS, mind-reader Bishop has commu-
nicated to them the intelligence that
he was not dead until after the doctors
had dissected him. What he can do
about it is not clear, as even the spin
ituaIists admit that he is dead now.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

IF many married women were as
willing to be pleasant and as anxious
to please in their own homes as they
are in the company of their neighbors
they would have the happiest homes
in the world, and there would not be
so many unhappy marriages in the
world.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

TIE General of the Gillian army
that conquered Peru was an Irishman.
That conquest represented British
commercial interests. The new Ameri-
can Minister to Chill is an Irish exile.
What significance there may be in this
is unknown, but honors are easy as to
adopted talent
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

A PEACH-GRowING corporation IS
Connecticut idea. Its immense orch
ards at Meriden and Berlin viii come
into bearing this year, and yield Of
forty thousand baskets is expected.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

An English coal-dea1er, having, from
pure benevolence, had a scale so con
structed as to register a ton for twenty
four hundred pounds, has been fined
for classifying an official weight.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

JOIN f. PRICE, confined IN a Colo
RADIO penitentiary for demonstrating, has
falling heir to 500, COO He formerly
lived at CirclevilIe o.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12
He Did Not Comply with the Request

Some time ago, when a gentleman of
Bucksport, Ne, was married, he took
has bride on visit to her people at
Ellsworth. In the afternoon he had
petted a little nephew and showed him
his false teeth, with which the little
fellow was much amused. La the
evening when the company was assem-
bled the conversation Jagged and
some one said: What shall we do
next % The little 10y spoke mp and
said: Show 3em your false teeth,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

If bird IN the hand is worth two in the
bush, how much would the stuffed birds be
worth at a millinery shop?
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

INF France the use of tinfoi1 for wrap
ping articles Of food has been forbidden.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

The present system of fat buildings,
which has become so popular of late,
was known In ancient Tyre many cen
turtles before our present era.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

OK Feb. q, 1853, the first Russian
Embassy to England arrived u. the
neigbbcrhood Of London.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

THE Zouave uniform is to be aban-
dOned by the French army.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

If an iceberg is 200 feet high. how hich
viii next summers ice bill be?
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

Man proposes, God disposes, woman dis
compOses, the divorce court nterposes, and
the press exposes.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

off negro buys horse for $500 and sells
him for $40, how much would he have
saved by stealing mule?
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12
THE BLASE YOUNG MAN.
DISAPPOLET1IEET WITH
THE WORLD.

Bin Eyye Interviews the King Of the Crest
Trusts-THo Chief Of the -Four Hun
dred" Denomces the HumOFist as a
Coarse and Rude Person.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

If an athlete can jump Is feet. how far can
a defaultIng bank cashier Jump
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

THERE are few husbands whom the
wife cannot WIN IN the long run by
patience and love, unless they are
harder than the rocks which the soft
water penstTates - time.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

What are the wild waves saying2 They
are probably telling fish stories to one an
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

If one key of beer holds two hundred
glasses, how much can John /. Sullivan
mold?
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

If a milk man owns three COWS, each one
of which gives two gallons of milk, how
much water would each COW have to drink
to supply 500 customers?
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

A4ao IS q day. Samples worth Sc 4 3 FIEEsE-
NJ Lines not under horses feet Write Brew
y SssteT Safety Rein Holder kelly. Men
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12
NZigor and VIfaIItY.

I00B and Vitality
Are quickly given 20 every part Of the body pg
Hoods Earsapsrilla- That tired feeling Is entire
y overcome. The blood is purified, enriched, and
Eitazed, and carries health instead Of disease to
every organ. The stomach is toned and strength
ened. the appetite restored. The kidneys and Ii7-
er are reused and invigoratsd. The brain is re-
freshed, the nerves strengthened The whole
system is built up by Hoods Earsepurilla.
81 was all run down and unit for business.
wes induced to take bottle of Hoods ssTsaps-
rilla, and 1t built me right up" ID. ~. BRATE. 4
Martin Street, Albany, NJ Y
Hoods SaF8apaFiIia
Sold by all druggists. 81; 9 for s.. Prepared only
by C. L HOOD & co, Lowell, Mass,
100 Doses one collar
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

If an elephant should lose his trunk through
an accident, how much of could he lose
through knOt-hole?
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

Charity to awl-giving an impecunious
cObbler aims.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

Noah might have built the ark of iron had
he not been specially directed to gopher
wood. He didn't have far to go for it, eth
er.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

erance despite the persistence of an
organized and powerful persecution.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

A 1Oc. smoke for 'Tansin's Punch. y
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

~ NE Of the saddest
Athing s about the
Istre cts of II @ W
York is the blase
young man, writes Bill
Eye in the st. Louis
:. Post. Hardly old enough
Ito know how to harness
IA horse or milk q cow
even for a picnic party.
the is already weary Of
life. He knew every
thing when he was lit
tie, and has gradually
added to it ever since.
.He cannot sit through
Hamlet because ne
has heard il so often be-
fore. He says Booth is
sfatIin g. a @ dOesn {
think tina at Jefferson
speaks so distinctly as
Inc used to do. He Is
49, v-E, =, H. ~, =
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-07-12

A SUCCESSFUL MERCHANT.
Morning journal and courier., 1889-05-31
Washingfan Notan.

WASHINGTON, D. O., May 30.-The atten- dance at Arlington was unusually large and included large number of distinguished persons, Mrs. Harrison, Mr. and Mrs. Mckee arrived shortly before noon and brought a bouquet of flowers which was laid on Gen. eral Sheridan's grave. General Schofeld and staff, Senators Sawyer and Manderson, and Patent Commissioner LabelI were pres ent. The first ceremony was at the Sheridan monument. Here members of the G. A. R. ,, of the Women's Relief Corps and of the Loyal Legion Commandery had gathered within the enclosure around the monument. The Marine band played dirge, an old vet- eran pulled rope and the flags covering the monument fell to the ground exposing to view the plain granite shaft thirteen feet high bearing on it's face bronze bust medal lion of General Sheridan. The women's re- lief corpse threw . shower of roses around the monument and later the children of Gen. eral Sheridan. added their floral contribution to the heap.
 A large party of prominent people left here to-day for the Antietam battlefield to take part in the Decoration day ceremonies. Among them were Representatives McComas of Maryland, Butterworth of Ohio, Bayne of Pennsylvania, Herman of Oregon, Ger ot Iowa, Reed of Iowa, Cheadle of Indiana, ex. Congressman Thomas of Illinois, General Nathan Golf of West Virginia and R. P. Por ter, superintendent of census.