The Penn's Grove record., 1889-01-12
TROUBLE GETTTSG a GOAT.
BulliDg the Market to Sell at a De-
cline Without Dividends.

A weil-known New York gentleman
a recently had a thrilling experience
OF the ups and downs Of the markets
though he was not, as is his ordinary
custom, having dealings with bulls and
bears, but with another animal not so
well-known on the street, namely the
goat. He has a handsome country seat
with all kinds Of blooded stock, and
cid not contemplate adding a goat,
however handsome and spirited, to his
collection. But an lnconsiderate ply
sician directed goats milk for his little
boy who was delicate. The father
called attention to his choice assort-
ment OF cows, but the physician was
l%mplacable; nothing would do but a
goat.
The fond father started forth HIM
self upon the quest for a desirable ami
NAL, penetrating to the remotest
wilds of Harlem, where he felt sure
the goat might be secured in his native
purity. 1t was not difficult for him TO
obtain the address OF a lady who was
said by her neigbors to have a goat for
sale. But when he found the lady
herself his most fattering offers were
rejected with scorn and contumely.
"An' Is it to sell Nanny ye'd be
afther AKIN mes" inquired the lady
with naughty disdain.
"Wud I sell Pat there and Mickey
and little Norahp"
The gentleman meekly explained that
he was not negotiating for a family,
but his remarks were drowned in loud
walls Of woe from the three in
fants, who were much alarmed at
their parents rhetorical inquiry. He
was hurriedly departing when the
scornful lady unbent sufficiently to in
form him that the Wildly O'Rellly,
whose residence was Just beyant, might
be willin' to part with her goat.
1t vas with some trepidatlon that
the would-be purchaser faced the
Wildly O'Reilly. She shed many tears,
but admitted that she had thought of
parting with her Nanny for a consid.
Grafton, but would have to have a week
to consider the matter. When assured
that time pressed, she politely but
firmly referred him to Mrs. McGirnls.
Much the same scene was enacted at
the residence of Mrs. McGinnis, who
ulu hoWCVClf OOlioCllb W oCiisSl ofSA
Nanny then and there, but for
a consideration, so wildly exhor-
bitant that the purchaser felt sure it
would be dear for the choicest speci-
men Of Cashmere goat.
As he conducted his researches he
found that the news Of his quest. by
some occult teleZraphy, preceded him,
and the price of goats rose rapidly.
Animals that were before considered
barely worthy their keep were now
quoted at substantial sums, and ami
mails of any value at all were held
firmly by their owners for fancy prices.
He was assured, in spite of the evil
dence of his eyesight, which disce.ned
patriarchal flocks and herds Of goats
browsing on every common and crag.
that the good goats were scarce, that
1t was a hard matter to get a good goat
at any price. When he finally secured
a decent looking animal 1t vas only as
a great favor and on payment in cash
Of $50. which he could not but feel was
more than an equivalent.
Six months trial Of the goat
strengthened this conviction. She i'm
mediately, perhaps knowing the price
that had been paid for her, assumed
possession of the place. She strolled
into the parlor, the library or the din.
Ing room, promenaded the piazza or re.
clined upon the steps, as the fancy
seized her. When the servants at
tempted to dispossess her she inyari-
ably showed fight. and usually came
out of the combat with victory perched
upon her banners. When she finally
butted the mistress of the house to the
ledge OF the piazza and rolled her down
the steps, it was decided to sell her,
especially as her milk did not benefit
the child, But the price Of goats was
found to have rapidly gone down, and
they were now quoted way below par.
After vainly endeavoring to sell her at
any price, her luckless owner was
finally thankful to pay an Irish gentle
man of his acquaintance S. to remove
her from the premises.