davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

The theory that oil will offset the
effects of whisky and other strong
drinks is popular among the drink.
ing men OF New York. A New York
paper says: "Those who drop into
the uptown oyster-houses and res
taurants after midnight IRE very apt
to order a salad simply to get the
oil with which tits dressed. The idea
is that oil will remain on top ofwhat-
ever is in the stomach, and that the
fumes of the liquor that has been
drunk can not ascend through it to
the head"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20
The Best Testimonial

yet published for any blood medicine il the
printed guarantee of the manufacturers of
DIR. Pirrcrs Golden Medical Discovery. which
warrants that wonderful medicine to benefit
or cure in all eases Of those diseases .or which
it liz recommended. or money paid or it will
torpid liver aud impure blood and their
names are legion. Ali Skin. Scalp and Scrof-
nlous affections, Eruwions, Sores and Swell
inss. Saltrl"um, letter, Erysipclas and kim
tlred diseases. are among those in which the
Discovery effected marvellous cures,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

Some one has declared deceit worse thon
consumption. and the comparison is a true
down legitimate remedies, and who jeluie
suffering humanity, whose only salvation il
the immediate use Of Dr. Bulls Cough Syrup,
He iests ut scars, who ncvcrfelt a wound, !"
and a man may stand with his hands in his
pockets, and laugh ut poor, worn rhen.
matte. but il he is gentleman. he'll step in
to the nearest drug-rhoP. and buy him q bot.
tie of Salvation Oil for % cents.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20
DidYou Read

the large advertisement Of Tie Youths Com,
panion which VIC published last week? This
la,ion Of 43O, 900 copies weekly. No other
ournul is more welcomed by old and Young
in the families throughout the land. Tho
publishers nuke special offer once o wear,
and to all who subscribe now will send the
pnper free to January /. 1880, md for a full
year from that dute. The subscription price
is $1.75. Address,
TIE Yourn's COMPANION, Boston. Mass.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

1.-THE COACH STARTS IN FIVE MINUTES"
81 could stand for you fcllers to beat mo
things-but when awake at morning and
find some sort of internal juice dripping
down and taking all the hair off my head,
why" lie stopped for moment, and
then. taking out Ills watch, added:
1.-THE hack leaves here at 8 o'clock. It's
now one minute to g."
\, Minus and l were among the passengers
that lett on the hack that morning.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20
She Took the PHI;

The justics II the peace Id Salt
Lake was recently called upon to
unite q couple in matrimony. The
name ofthe groom was John Pill.
When the Justice reached that part
OF the ceremony when the bride
agrees to take the groom for better
or worse, the Justice said: "Clara,
do you take this Pill?" The bride
responded In a loud and distinct
tone: eyes, / will take this pill II it
kills me-" while her flce was suffused
with bluslles. Moines Graphic,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

A PECULIAR situation is described
in the last novel of a well-known
novelist. While the hero il sitting
mt the feet of the heroine she is said
to look up into his face and to draw
his head down to her own.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

.Asoca, Wis, was the scene of IL tragedy re-.
GENTLY. Thos. Follinrd, proceeded to the
house of Lyman Dewitt. He was denied ad.
mittance and ordered -four times to leave but
refused whereupon Dewitt prodaced u revol.
yer and shot Folliard three times Deatl,
was instantaneous. Trouble has existed
*!me time between the two over Dewitt's
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

lfevery WON an in this land knew for her.
self the actual quality OF Dohbin's Eclectic
Snnp. 10 other washing soap could he sold
Millions do use it, hut other millions have
never tried it. Have you' Ask your grocer
for it.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

The commission appointed by the liqui,la-
tor o. The Panama Canal company to en-
anime into the afairs of the company on the
isthmus have sailed rom Paris for Aspin-
wall.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

When baby was sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she was Child, she cried for Castoriu,
When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria,
When she had children, she gave themCa astoria,
>
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

The spread ofinfuenza throughout Berlin
and many other parts Of Germany is rapid
md causing great tleul Of suffering. Prof
Virohow is one of the victims of the disease.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

Oregon, the Paradise of Farmers.
Mild cIuah!c CLIMATE. certain and abundant
crops. Best fruit. grain. grass and stock country
IN the world. Full Information irr-. Address tho
Oregon Immigration hoard. Portland. Oregon.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

W. G. Shurtlen of Waterloo, Iowa, succeeds
Siicott as cashier of the scrgeant-at.arms OF
the lower house of congress-
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

a SORE THROAT OR CorGu, If suffered In
progress, often results in IN incura bic thront
Or lung trouble. "BRnwN's BnoSruIAL
TRocnEs" give instant relief
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

proposition is under consideration 10
provide for increasing the membership of tlc
United States supreme court from nine to
eleven.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

Gov. Miller officially recognizes restitution
in some localities Of North Dakota, and sup.
gests plum to distribute aid.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

The New York Worlds correspondent at
Maranhnm, Brazil, cables that ON Nov. Is
twenty citizens were killed in Il fight between
the lmperialists and Republicans.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

When everything else fails. DR. Sage's
Catarrh Remedy cures, 50cen.s Ivy druggists
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

:, The old smokers dcliglt-"Tansill's
Punch" Americas finest &C. Cigar.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20

The great agony caused by rlialmltisin is in
- ''.il.ni,.' aud III. ,.,., ,.,, ,,t,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-12-20
! AN NOT a rELoN. lam a MARTYR. f"
f.tt &tprEu IN

have settled that
They settled it as you would settle it, hy
refusing to hear me.
Have refused to llrnr you?" snid Helen,
what do ] care for steamboats, and cal
tnins? II stay here to all eternity, III
know from your own lips and your own face
whet her you IRE frlOn or u martyr. II is
no phrase papa. He in II frlon or a martyr
md ] nm most VII 'ortuna:e girl or else ,
bnse, ,lislnyal one
"Fidlle.!ue,' said General Rollrst OIL, an
giiiy. Then looking nj his witch: II give
you five minutes to humbuw us in-ifyou
cun."
Robert Penfold sighed patiently. But from
TINT moment he ignored General Rollpst on
und looked to Helen only. And she fixed hrl
eyes upon his face with IL tenncity and IN in
tensity of observation that surpassed any
thing he had ever seen in his life. 1t dnzzle
him: but It did not disrnny him.
Miss lollcsto on, mid Ie, my history car
be told in the time my prcjndiccd judge al
lows me. ] nm II clergyman, and il private
tutor Mt Oxford. One OF my pupils wns-
Arthur Wurllaw. took IN interest in him
l,eruusc my father, Michael Peniold. was in
Wnrilnw's employ. This Arthur wnr,llaw
Ind talent for mimitry: he mimckcd one
oil tho college officers publicly an offensive.
~. md was about TO he expelled, and TINT
would have ruined hiS immediate pros,pcts $:
for his nthcr is just but stern. fought
hnrl for him. and, being myself popular with
authorities got him on. lie was crate ul
or seemed to be, md No hrcnne greater
friends than ever. Wecoi,fi,lei in each OF her.
He told mo lie wns in debt In Ok ord, un.l
much alarmed lest il should reach his father
ears, and lose him tho promised partner.
ship ] told him ! was DESTROYS to buy Il
small living near Oxford which wus then
vacant hut had only saved 800, and
the price wan II 900; ] had no mems o:
raising the balance. Then he said, .Rorrow
$4,000 oi my ither: give me fourteen hun.
'lrrd oft and take your own time to repay
the 5000. shall be my fathers pnr,ucr
in Il month or two, said lie. you can pny US
back by installmcnts'
| He then went on TO tell of being presented
with II noteof hand for g., 900 by I, stranger.
representing to come from Arthur WnrdiLw.
who induced him to endorse I he same. az his
subsequent arrest :or forgery and o, his trinI
and conviction.
During this recital he swclled nntl covered
with the just wrath OF an homes. man driven
TO Lny: md his eye shot black lightning. lie
was sublime.
Helen covered but her spirited old fathcr
turned red. and snil. haughtily: We take
you ut your word. md leave you, YOU iuso.
lent vagubond! Follow me tits instant,
Helen!"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
silencing the Donkey.

! have no doubt that the donkey
believes himself, when braying, to he
executing u vocal solo to the highest
excellence, and that, according to the
poet, "He sings both loud and clear"
As some of my readers may be in
capable of appreciating the song, l
will mention device whereby the
Turks induce the too vocal donkey
to be silent against his will. Just as,
before cock crows. lie finds it neces-
sary to stretch out lis neck to the
utmost, 80 the donkey feels himself
compelled to begin his performance
by holding his nose in the air and his
tail parallel with his spine.
When, therefore, II Turk wishes to
silence his donkey, lie ties n tolerably
heavy stone to the end of the ami
malls tail, and departs with an easy
mind. When the donkey feels inciin.
ed to bray, and begins the usual pre-.
liminaries, he finds himself debarred
from placing the tail Mt the requisite
angle, and in consequence is unable
to do justice to the bravura with
which he was purposing to favor the
world. So he postpones his song for
future opportunity, and peace falls
upon the Observation-Disclosures
Uuun
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
A Story Of Congressman Reed.

Reed stood one day in front OF the
Hamilton house, on Fourteenth
street, where he lives. There is Il hill
there. not steep, but sometimes
slippery. A colored man was urging
a horse attached to q heavy loaded
wagon. Twice the animal slipped!
and fell, and the driver beat the
beast with his whip. Presently Reed
stepped forward. In that sharp,
twangy voice SO often heard and
generally feared in the house he COM
manded the negro to dosist. The
man again raised his whip, when
Reeds big arm swung out and
caught the drivers wrist in n strong
grasp. Reed held him thus as in !,
wise for one full minute. pouring out
such IL flood of reproof as that
colored man had never before heard.
The man WINGED, wilted. He was
mastered, physically and morally.
And the end of the incident was q
drawing of the wagon to one side of
the street, Reed assisting the driver
therein, and IL sending of the poor
horse away to the blacksmith to
have new shoes put on his old feet.
Washington Letter.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
A Few Points Of Etiquette.

In the mad whirl of the cotilun, il
you wear ready made clothing
bought from an irresponsible dealer,
and hear IL b-z-z.t that don't harmon
izc with the Il string on the bass fid-
die, it is entirely correct and proper
to not forward aud back" accord
ing to the commands of the figure
caller, but to back straight ahead
without baking until you reach the
wall, when IL pin neatly utilized may
cover your embarrassment and re-
treat. People who smoker undcrs
circumstances should lie put outside
the p,lc of good society.
When invited out to dinner and
you inadvertently get Il hugemoutli-
ful of mincc pie that is hot enough to
melt the solder on IL gas pipe. tam
glrl up in your cpiglottjs, do notn"t
as you had the wlloopiny cough,
but arise calmly and with II slrig lt.
ot-hand movement toss the offending
morsel behind the majolica dog in the
corner, meantime putting llishcad rs
though you thought him alive. This
graceful act never fails to win tile
heart of your hostess, who thinks
you intend her faithful friend to par
take of the festivities.
When tho sheriff of the county
serves il subpoena on you. It'll is consid-
cred in good taste to attend his re-
cpption without further invitation on
his part. Some sticklcrs on polite
ness, however, who find that it will
prevent their witnessing II ball game,
go to the extreme of sending around
~ physicians certificate to the effect
that they are indisposcd from the in.
ilucnce OF the sportive element.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
Uneducated Palatcs.

Very few people are expert judges
of wine. | have seen people who cx-
patiated on their great abilities as
connoisseurs of wines wofully fooled
by a very simple trick. It's this. An
order would be given at the table
for an imported wine. An American
wine would he brought to the person,
when lie would make IL loud COM
plant and refuse to take it and order
it to be taken back. The barkeeper,
whose wits in such cases are rarely
ut an end. simply pours the Ameri-
can wine into IL bottle having an old
imported label on and returns smil.
ingly to his customer. With the re.
mark, "Why didn't you bring that
ut tirst?" the customer drinks the
liquor and smacks his lips with an
artistic air of an expert who drinks
only imported brands. His unetu.
Gated palate had been fooled by the
label.-St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
The Cost Of Grand Opera.

The difference between the outlay
and the returns at the Metropolitan
Opera house, New York, averages
81 600 nightly. In other words,
there is u dead loss of between 500.
600 and $4,000 on four months
season. This is not excessive, ii
compared with the figures shown by
some other great opera houses. The
profits in Paris, for example, are
purely nominal, and against them
must be set the annual subsidity OF
100000 granted by the state. A
New York opera season in German
costs $2OO.OOO. This includes $685.
600 artists salaries and $40, 900
for the magnificent orchestra.
The rest is spent on scenery, cos
TUNES, chorus, supes and ballet
The Stage.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
"l.o" Divides Ills Effects.

''Big Mouth Charley, the gay and
festive Indian who playfully sent d.
Pete to the happy hunting grounds
at Red Bluff, for which commcndablc
action he will enjoy the hospitality
of the state for seven years and
four months, distributed his personal
effects as follows: To Jim Turner,
his brother, he gave his Oldest wife,
Lizzie, also his alcstate and horses;
the land is n 100 acre timber claim.
To Coyote Pete" Il friend, he gave
his youngest wife, Susie. To "Deer
Tom," another brother, he gave
Mollie Turner, his dead brother Ike's
wife. His thirty head ofdogs. five
Winchester rifles 800 rounds of car
tridges, two revolvers and four
knives, he gives to Jim Turner con-
sideration, love and affection for
Lizzie. He had IL deep set grudge
against Coyote Pete," which is the
reason for placing Susie under his
protection. She is n tolerablv tough
piece of femininity.-Red Bluff (Cal.)
News.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
Not q "Dispensation, y

The religious world is not 80 much
given rs it used to be to folding it's
hands and saying with pious resig
nation. "This ia the hand of God
whenever great disaster ovcrtakes
men. But it is still given to that
sort of thing more than it ought to
be; and not a few worthy people
throughout the length ana breadth
OF the land are even now commenting
upon the Conemaugh horror us "a
divine visitation"
Rather, tits a visitation of the devil,
rs he revels himself in the greed md
selfishness of men. Read this sensi-
bic thing from the current lndepend-
ent, n consistently religious Journal,
but also q journal abreast of the
times:
"For those guilty Of the disaster
which has just befallen this valley oil
death just, deliberate, and not over
merciful judgment. This was not a
visitation OF God. God did not mar
row the gorge with Il railroad bank;
lie did not fiji it up with Stag; he did
not build n dam almost O hundred
feet high to i1nprison u struggling
menace. All this was the work oil
man, done in the interests of greedy
business, or perpetrated in the in
terests of wealthy sport, and permit.
ted and encouraged by the heeG less
government Of the state. No flood
along the native channel could have
swept away that city,"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
The West Point Jacket.
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
1t il said that the main reason for
the movement to change the uni
form of the men in the first class Mt
West Point is that they damage
their systems with the present gray
jackets. These jackets are cut al.
most to corset tightness in the first
place. and since they don't wear out
as fast US the cadets grow they nat
urally get tighter and tighter eacl,
few months. The women have taught
the boys to be very proud OF the
slim waists that distinguish the
corps, so that each fellow hangs on
to his jacket as long as he can. 1t is
said that one day when u cadet fell
into the water his commanding Off
Ger ordered him 10 take off his jacket
and wiring it. The youth did sc, and
displayed beneath it nothing but an
undershirt, with cuffs and collars
pinned to it. An investigation fol-
lowed, and showed that whereas
most of the bigger boys had been
obliged to- discard their shirts, there
wereev some who had to cut away
the lower halves of their undershirts
in order to button their jackets
around their waists.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
An Efrectual Extinguisher,

The Listener has q venerable friend
who is very deaf, being able to hear
conversation only through Il long
flexibletube with II trumpet at it's en-
tremity. This old gentleman knows
how to use his silence compelling
veto in IL most graceful way some
times. Not long ago, he did II young
man Il favor which was of immense
value. Theyouth, overwhelmed with
gratitude, visited his benefactor and
seized the ear trumpet with emotion.
"Oh. Mr.. =" he exclaimed, 81
The old man removed the other
end of the tube from his ear. The
youth found himself talking to thin
air. He went off into IL ridiculous
pantomime of entreaty, all the while
brandishing the unconncctcd ear
trumpet. The old man smiled.
''rhere are times" he said, "when
it is very convenient to be deaf"
The young man wns Obliged to go
away without having communicated
to his bcnefactor single word OF
thanks.-l'oston Transcript.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
Strength Of Walls.

1t is found that walls laid up of
good, hard burned bricks, in mortar
composed of good limo and sharp
sand, will resist u pressure OF 1900
pounds per square inch. Or 2l6, 900
pounds persquare foot, ut which fig
ure it would require 1000 feet
height OF twelve inch wall tocrl,s Il the
bottom courses, allowing l:,5
pounds us the weight OF each cubic
foot. 1t also appears from accurate
calculations and measurements that
walls laid up in the same quality OF
brick and mortar. with onc-tlird
quantity of Portland cement added
to the same, are capable of resisting
some $500 pounds per square inch
or 100000 pounds per square foot;
this would require II height of wall
1900 feet to crush the bottom
bricks.-Builder and Woody orker.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28

newsto communicate to seaton, with rsspsct
to Arthur Wardlaw; she asked to SEE that
patient.
reply.
What. curcd?"
why not? We have cured worse cases
than HIS"
where has he gone to? Pray tell me"
oh. certainly" And inquiry was made
But the reply was LETT no address,
Sarah Wilson, like many other women OF
high and low degree. had swift misgvings Of
mischief to come. She was taken with u fit
oil trembling, and had to sit down in the
hall.
And, to tell truth, she had cause to trem.
ble for that tongue Of hers had launched
two wild leasts-Jcnlousy und Revenge.
When she got better slle went home, aud,
coward-like, said not u word to living soul.
To BE Continued
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
Points OH Wedding Tours.

Pittsburg Bulletin.
There is still lower depth of drgr,.
dation in the matters of wedding
tours than the purely domestic
brand upon whose charms have Iii.
lated, and this is the "britlal trip to
EuropeH
How any girl with an allowance
of tour senses, setting aside five OF
six, can go OIL II wedding trip across
the ocean. being married, say ut
noon, and setting sail at 1 or carly
next day, is to my mind so much OF
an unteminine mystery that | don't
believe l care to have it solved.
Yes, indeed, we have IL great deal
yet to learn from our English cousins,
and the sweet, tender, secluded fash.
ion of going to Il quiet private house
in the country tor the honeymoon,
either loaned by IL friend for the oc-
custom or rented, as the case may be,
is by no means the least of the les.
sons we may acquire witt, profit and
advantage.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
ApDcarances Often l;ereiyc.

One day last week u Boston husi.
ness man, who was at work dictat.
ing letters to his stcnograpllvr, was
interrupted by II business call from
two well dressed men, who remained
in conversation for some little time,
and then went out. When they had
gone the business man turned to his
stenographcr and said:
"Di,l Sou notice the personal up,
pearance of those two yentlcmcnw
ooh, yes"
"Wcll, one of them was q well
known publisher of this city, and the
other was prize fighter and which
was the prize fighter and tlepublisll-
er?!'
The girl described one of the two
n young man ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
and pleasing manners.
THAT" she said, was the publish
or, of course
"iou are mistaken" said her en-.
ployer. 1.-The man you took for tile
publisher was the prize fighter. ard
the man You took for the prize fight
cr was the publisher"
And this was not IL ease where
1.-THE boy licd," cither.-Boston
Transcript.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1889-06-28
The First Mind Reader

New York Sun.
Three years ago Mind Reader j.
Randall Brown, who was witness
in the late Bishop case, was giving a
series of entertainments at the
Grand opera house in San Francisco.
On one occasion he gave q seance.
aud announced that lie would pro-
duce the spirit of any person called
for.
"Diogenes," shouted a man from
the back of the house. A few mo-
ments later raps were heard, and
Prof. Brown announced that the
philosophers spirit was rapping
and would answer any questions
asked. AN old gentleman in the
front row rose very slowly and said:
"You say you have the spirits vi
Diogencs there?"
eyes sir; Do you wish to ask him
any questions?" replied Mr.. Brown.
"Only one. Ask him if he has
found that honest man yet"
The laughter which greeted the
question broke up the seance for
that night.