The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-03-02

There il one Ottawa man whose estimate
of gubernatorial dignity has fallen severa
feet lie went down to Springfield the 9th
er week, just after MIR Fifer had assumed
control of the mansion lately vacated by
! Mr. Ogesby, and when business had been
attended TO, decided TO visit Private Joe
When this decision came to him, it was
within two hours OF tea time, and he hurried
down to the capital building, much as a man
going 10 a fire. He swung the heavy north
door open and bounded along the big hall
until he came to the chambers of the Su-
preme Court. Mr.. Snively was on duty,
ami the Ottawa man rushed up to him with,
Is his Excellenoy, the Governor, around
here anywhere?'
Nope" said MIR. snively, guess les
gone home. say, 90 his deputy didn1
Joe 90 home from here?'
Deputy" Yes, sir"
The Ottawa man strobe away, feeling
rather indignant that the Governor should
be spoken Of thus Lightly, and in half hour
had found the gubernatorial residence. He
ambled up the steps Of the mansion and
pulled on the bell A man with his shirt
sleeves rolled up to his elbows, answered the
ring. He was atired in pair of short
overalls and gingham shirt. while his feet
were encased in cotton socks and carpet
slippers The Ottawa man looked this in
diyidual over with dsiainful air.
Look a,here," he said, " I'm from Otta
wa and We only got an hour to train time.
Can | see his Excellency, the Governor?
you mean me?'
VIVA! you amt the Governor are you?
" Course am. Why come right in here,
we're house cleanin', and things is sort
of disarranged, but | guess we can talk a
minute. Come right in here and with an
apologize air the Governor led the way into
a room off the hall, and Pumping himself
into high backed chair cooked his carpet
slippers up on mahogany table, which Mr.
Oglesby had thoughtfully purchased, (pre
sumably out of his savings.)
"Well, your Excelency," gasped he,
" How are you: allow me to offer my con
gratulatons.'
"Dont mention it. don't want 'em. Con-
raulations DC blowedl Col darn it, the
public hasn't offered me anything but con
gratulations since was elected! Offer me
any thing else Have you got cigar?'
The cigar was furnished. MIR. Fifer be-
came communi alive.
"Gol blast it, he calculated, "its moth
ing but congratulations and services. II
man don't offer me his congratulations, he
offers me his services as clerk, member
of some commission, or something else. Mr.
Oglesby left the house in pretty good condi
ton, but dog omit, the cussed cor gratula
tionts have scraped the stufing out of the
hall rugs, and spoiled the nice carpet thai
Mrs. Cullom bought in New York, and Mrs
Fifer would clean house. This is Why | an
got up like this. This is why 60 around
here with mouthful of tacks.a tack hammer
in one hand and carpet stretcher in the
other. tell you that the average pub il
don't know enough TO pound sand. think
the Illinois public is just that kind of {
public Why cant it give me rest. Blu
| let's change the subject; I'm sick and tired
of it. How are the cows and hogs down your
way"
| don't live in -
"Just so! knew you didn't live in thu
the hog belt, that's up near Chicago some
where. But suppose the rye -four indica
tons are prospering'-
Excuse me--my train-two minutes :
and the Ottawa man was gone. As he gal
lopel down the street, the Governor des
cended to the walk and shouted:
take it easy! / just got telephon
from the office: the train is ten minutes
| lateN'
was standing in the corridor of the low
er floor of the court house, en- Monday after
noon, and accidently overhead
"Say, Jimmie, does yer know my brother
Pete?"
"Uh huh!'
"N ell he's gone down to Texts, jim is
an tell yuh wot he 3 a big gun, he is"
"Uh, HUH"
.'Ye, bet he's got something to do wit
the court down there. He sent to dad las
week fur hundred dollars.
There is a lady q don't know that it wou!'
be fair TO tell in just what portion ofthe cit.
she residesl who is not content unless sh
has tried the latest thing advertised. Sh
was in Chicago recently, and while passin
a Madison street store, noticed this sign
OUR NEW NOTIFIED SOAP!
30 A BARI!
1t was a big black lettered sign, and seem
ed to draw her in as though it possesse
some magnetic attraction. She purchases
two bars, and upon reaching home decides
TO try it. Before an opportunity to test it