davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
Abuse Well Paid For

What queer DISCUSSES the gifts of the
gods do come in sometimes. There
was John James Mage, His cloud had
not a silver but a gold lining. Fifteen
years ago he was a poor English %collec-
tor of insects in Guatemala. On the
side he was British ~vice-consul at San
Jose. One day Commandment Gozales
ordered John James to appear before
him. John said he would shortly. if
not afterward. This specimen of Brit
ish conversation riled Gonzales, and
he sent a file of soldiers after John
Bulls representative. When the
militia brought in the bug collector
Gonzales ordered that he be treated to
seventy-fve lashes on his bare back,
and added twenty-five more for good
will. The queen heard of it and sent
word by gunboat to Guatemala to pun
ish Gonzales and pay Mage $500 for
every lick. Under the shadow of the
frowning cannon both Of those things
We're done. Mage was given $50. 900
and went into partnership with Presi-
dent Barrois, and is now worth So, OOO,-
600, lives nine months of the year in
Paris, and does not care where there is
a bug on the face of the earth.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
That Little Tickling.

You have been cautioned many times to
do something to get rid of that little tickling
in your throat. which makes you cough once
in a while and keeps You constantly clearing
your throat. Your reply, 20, that's moth
ing."."It will get we'll by itself" ETC.. will not
cure it. nor will the disease stand still: it
will grow worse or better. This trouble
arises from catarrh. and as catarrh is a rom
stitutional disease. the ordinary cough
medicines all fail to hit the spot. What you
need is a constitutional remedy like Hoods
Sarsaparilla. Many people who have taken
this medicine for scrofula. dyspepsia. loss
of appetite. and other troubles, have been
surprised that it should cure this trouble
some cough. But to know the actual cause
OF the cough is to solve the mystery.
Probably nearly all cases of consumption
could be traced back to the neglect of SOM
such slight affection as this. The best au-
thority on consumption. says that this dis.
ease can be controlled in its carly stages
and the effect Of Hoods SarsaparilIa il
purifying the blood. building up the gen.
eral health. and expelling the scrofula faint
which is the cause of catarrh and consump.
ton, has restoredto perfect health many
persons on whom This dreadful disease
seemed to haye a firm hold.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
HE HAD Il CORN.

A resident of this city had a corn on
the middle of his left foot, which had
bothered him greatly for many years.
One morning he could bear it no Ion
ger, and adopted a unique and sudden
method of getting rid of it.
He obtained a rifle and fastened it
firmly, muzzle downward, on a board
set for the purpose. Then he laid a
board down under it and fred it twice.
The bullet entering the board at ex-
actly the same point each time con
WINGED him that the rifle was firmly
fixed and properly adjusted, and his
next move was to place his bare foot on
the board so that the corn on his toe
came directly over the button hole.
This matter being arranged to his
satisfaction he got a friend, who was
present during the preliminary opera.
tions to pull the trigger. The result
fully equalled if il did not exceed his
expectations. The bullet went through
his toe and carried the corr with it,
leaving q large, ragged hole, which will
be quite likely to give him as much
trouble as did the corn.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
WHAT SHE SAID.

He was q San Franciscan in the
played-out city Of London, says the
San Francisco Chronicle. He came
from the west, where he had developed
that independence and %self-reliance
which, combined with good looks and
500 gold pieces, made a man superior
to all Europe. He strolled with grace
full dignity into a gilded bar. over
which presided a divinity of superb
physical form, but still a woman, with
that air which only an English bar
maid can possibly pnt Oman air of
mingled %conceit, pride, coquetry and
humility. She awaited his order.
He was dressed in the latest fashion.
He threw the lapel of his coat back with
a proud gesture, and, fixing his fasci-
mating eye on the bar beauty, he said:
"Tell me, my pretty maid. what can
you suggest for a man who ate q
Welsh rabbit last night and does not
feel we'll this morning?'
She did not smile; she did not ap.
pear to be affected by the appearance
of his swelling chest or his wicked eye;
she simply said:
why did you not heat two Welsh
rabbits, and let 'em chase beach
hother"
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
4 LOpelW BOUdOir..

Here is a description Of the beautiful
Miss Hargou's boudoir. She is a dark
eyed, Spanish-looking woman, and the
room was furnished with view Of form
ing a becoming background for her
loneliness. The walls are of rough
finished plaster, colored a pale, dull
gold, with a frieZe of dull, gray-greeu
flowers. The hangings and carpets are
the same dull green and the curtains
are embroidered with gold Of a tint to
match the walls. On either side the
deep tiled fireplace, with brass andirons,
is a wide lounge. That on the right is
covered with a tiger skin, the head Of it
lying on the floor and making %afootstool
for the occupants slim, slippered feet.
This and the opposite lounge, which is
covered with a black bear skin, are
heaped with cushions of a pale gold and
\ red that is almost black it is so dark.
At the end of one of these lounges
stands a tall ~scrolled brass lamp, with 4
pale gold shade, and underneath it a
table of pierced copper work from Per-
sia, which holds a set of Persian porce-
lain cups and saucers and an old Persian
teapot for afternoon tea. On either side
Of the window stands q big dull red
eartben jar which holds a tall palm that
is almost a tree, and the two form an
arch of green over the window. There
is a long Louis Quinze table neal the
window, fitted up with all the appli-
ances for writing, in silver. There are
book shelves, many deep, soft chairs,
and a Louis Quinze cabinet, holding
some very rare and beautiful bits of
Venetian glass, which, with the etchings
that hang on the wall, are the beauty's
special weakness. and in which all the
money she can spare from her wardrobe
is invested.-NeW York World.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
Lucky

When it was stated here that VIM. and W..
p. Fawcett held ticket No. 63. $50 which last
month drew the First Capital Prize OF $780,
600 in The Louisiana State Lottery and had
received theirmoney-S15, 0N-ag great many
persons thought it was a joke. The Times
Journal man, wishing to know the truth of
the matter, saw the parties and was assured
that the report was correct. They received
the money last Friday week by draft. which
was paid by the bank OF Campbellsville at
this place. They lave for several months
been buying one or two twentieth tickets in
this Lottery. They stated to us that they
had always drawn enough money to pay for
their tickets up to the TIM OF drawing the
capital prize.
w. P. Fawcett left last Monday for the
west. where he is to visit his brother and
enjoy part Of the fortune which came into
his hands so easily, $4,000 is no small
amount. It is certainly a large amount fol-
a dollar. 1t will be remembered that some
time ago Mr.. sam Frank Spencer, of oul
n~eighboring town, Greensburg, drew S15,Mt
in The Louisiana State Lottery and that
several times the adjoining county of Ma
rion has been lucky in holding tickets draw
Ing from $500 to Si5 .WO.-CampJeAsriUe
Ky.) TimeS-Journal. NOp. 6.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
A Gamblers Trust.

The Inter Ocean says that Chicago
has a tiger trust composed Of twenty
five gambling houses allied Extensively
and defensively. The chief of the
avowed gamblers is Geo. Hankins,
whose games Melted him s4S, 900 in the
month of October. Hankins prefers
faro to the turf, with good reason.
Mike Mcdonald is the power behind
the scenes who gives force and effect
to the wishes Of the trust in public
matters. The trust is powerful in local
politics because it can and has raised a
political pot of S35, 200 in one day.
The Chicago tiger as a man-eater keeps
fatter than his East India prototype,
and is doing more terrible work.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
~ Has To0 LArE.

Mrs. Dearhorn-You seem quite pros
trated with grief, my love. What is the
trouble? /.
Mrs. Wabash was divorced from
my husband day before yesterday. Boo
hoo!
Mrs. Dearhorn-Oh, never mind a
little thing like that. That happens to
us all, you know.
Mrs. Wabash-Yes, but yesterday he
got a dispatch that an uncle in England
had left him a million. Renewed wall
ings.)
Mrs. Dearhorn-Perhaps you can
effect q reconciliation and marry him
again.
Mrs. Wabash-Too late, he married
yesterday.
WHEN 9 man falls, says q Kansas OK
change, people sigh and say sThere
must have been a woman at the bottom
- 8 l,xs4aSlsnvH oro Sn6vor inst nns,r~ ~,
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
THE LADIES.
A Highly Seasoned Pot Pourri,
Dished Up Especially for
tile Tender SEX.
FAIR WOMEN AID THEIR WAYS.
A Bit Of Nonsense, a Little Humor, and
Some Solid Chunks Of Useful
Information.
The vices Of Napoleon I11.,s generate.

the Wees of Napoleon Ills Generals.
By the death of the Marechale de
Canrobert the Empress Eugene loses
n of her truest and Oldest women
friends. The wives Of Napoleon Ills
generals played a great part during and
after the second Empire. Nine. Bra
zaino helped her husband to escape
from the Isle Of st. Marguerite, herself
coming in the boat to meet him. When
Gen. de Cavaignac died in the Riviera
in exile and disgrace his wife deter
mined that her husband should at
least be buried in the family vault at
Pere Ia Chaise. Accordingly the cour-
ageous woman, aided by a faithful man
servant, had the corpse arrayed in a
huge travelling cloak and lifted into a
railway carriage. Truly a grim and
terrible journey for q woman to make.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
shakespeare's "Dark Wo,nan.

We have kept our readers informed
Of the successive pieces of evidence that
MI. Thomas Tyler and the Rev. w. A.
Harrison have from time to time found
indicating that the dark woman" of
Shakespeare's Sonnet was Mary
Fitton, a daughter of Sir Edward Fit
ton, and one Of Queen Elizabeth's
maids Of honor, who threw Shakes
peare over for William Herbert, and
who had child by the late nobleman,
for which the Queen put him young
Pembroke) into the Fleet prison. But
the difficulty was how to prove that
Mary Fitton was dark. There seemed
to be no chance Of il. But MI. Tyler,
wishing to hare an engraving Of Mary
Fitton as we'll as Pembroke in his forth
coming book on Shakespaare,s Sonnat.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
Tie Type Writer is 4 Machine.

A ST. Louis business man recently
wanted a secondhand typewriter, so
he inserted an advertisement in the
morning papers, reading / want q
fair u good typewriter, and gave his
address. He received one reply from
a maj who had a machine for sale, and
se~venty-eight replies from girls, who
gave their speed per minute, with many
details that were not particularly rele-
want, such as the colore of hair and eyes.
Nearly all pleaded great necessity for
work and offered to. begin on any
terms. The incident convinced this
man, as it would probably convince
most people, that the supply of female
typewriters and stenographers is large
ly in excess of the demand and that the
language needs a new word to describe
the typewriter who wears bangs.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29

to the church, to Mi, Tyler's delight,
he found that the statues were co1ored,
and that Mary Fitton's hair and eyes
were both black, and her complexion
dark; SO were her sister Anne's. Her
brothers we're light.
Another difficulty was that William
Kempe, the famous comic actor Of
Sh~akespeare's company, dedicated, in
1900, his Nine Davis Dance from Lon
don to Norwich" to Mistress Anna
Elton, Maid of Honor to Queen Eliza
beth" It is certain not Anna, but
Mary Elton was the maid of honor;
and now Mr.. Harrison has found a refer
ence to the marriage of Anna Elton,
aged IA, to Mr.. Nudigate, with whom
she always afterward lived, mainly in
the country. Thus it is clear that
Kempe mistook the Christian name Of
the %patroness and mistress of his friend
Shakespeare, and called her Anna in
stead of Mary. Moreover as Mr.. Harri-
son and Mr.. Tyler had before come
to the conclusion hat Mary FittonA had
in early youth contracted a nominal
marriage which her family never sane
toned, which was never e%fectuated, and
to which Shakespeare probably alluded
in his line, "In act, thy bed-vow
broke (Sonnet) 1922, her sisters author
lied marriage at fourteen renders
Mary's unauthorized early one more
probable.
Many folk will be anxious to know
what Shakespeare's presumed flame
was like. Mary Fitton. as shown by
MI. Tyler's sketch from her mothers
tomb, wa a full-faced, bonny woman,
with large sparkling eyes and a loosish
mouth, somewhat Of the type OF Chau-
GERS "Wife Of Bath" as men imagine
her. Her hair is brushed high off her
forehead, and turned over a comb or
wire underneath it, while scarf or ker.
chief covers the rest of her hair. She
wears a ruff. The sculptor has made
her iat-chested, and some one has broken
off her hand and the tip of her nose.
Mr.. Tyler's book is more than half
printed, and will be published by Mr..
David Mutt. It will, undoubtedly,
form the most important work on Shake
speare's Sonnets up to this year OF
grace 1889. And now that inquirers
know the lines to follow up, we have
little doubt that further evidence on
Shakespeare's connection with Mary
Fitton will be found.-7he academy.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
THE WAY OF THE WORLD.
BY Ap1sr1sB AspnRsos.

4-E.-.HlT Hnf
I never gossip, as you know,
For am all day working,
TO cn..not mind my neighbor's WAYS
Without. like Miss Dean, Sinking.
SIC knows just everything around,
Ilet zoos that Miss AIcyerly;
She LIS ,bed till nearly noon,
Bat IN up bright and early.
pay my bills when they come due;
Icoaldn't stand such dunning
As TINT proud Mrs. Style gets,
For I'LL her clothes SO stunning.
dc not see how folks can let
Their children net so awful
A do these folks across the way.
They do say 'twasn't lawful
The way my left-hanl ncighbor here
From her frat husband parted,
And that she shook the second one
Fore the divorce was started.
That's Mrs. Brown that's coming round
h corner; do just watch now,
l don't believe you ever saw,
A dress that's such a botch now.
That pretty girl? Why. that's Miss Jilts.
The biggest firt h going,
She's got como up with. thought, at last,
And reapsw what she's been sowing.
She's awful pale, you see. I've heard
That she was to be married,
And had her things NIL ready, too,
but her dear bridegroom tarried.
What going? Oh, do stay. There comes
Tho wife Of our new pastor.
Don I go, and We will have some fun;
She tells more tales, and faster,
Than any woman that you know,
You must goP Well, good day, dear.
81
So glad you found mo quite alone,
! vas SO afraid she'd stay here.
-LetrDit Free Press.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
P~oliteness Of the Dlnner.Pail Brigade.

My business carries me down town
at an early hour every morning. I
come down with the laboring men-the
dinner-pail brigade. Along the line
we pick up the shop girl and the fac
tory woman. I have never yet seen
one of these enter the car that some
n Of the %dinner-pail brigade did not
get up and offer her his seat. I know
there is a good deal of nonsense writ
ten and talked on this subject. There
are times when men shouldn't give up
their seats to women. But for genuine
p%oliteness the dinner-pail brigade is
entitled to the prize so far as my obser.
walton goes.-Chicago Cor.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
Nihilism Stamped Out.

A letter from St. Petersburg, dated
October 25th, says: "Nihilism is dead
there is no doubt about it. The Rus
sian government is at last freed from
its constant fear OF dynamite and revo
lutionists, and has ventured so far Al
to abolish the special protection troop
and the military governors in import
ant centers. That nihilism is a thing
of the past is evident to every eausua
observer from the action of the govern
ment, as we'll as from the spirit mani
tested by the educated youths ant
members Of universities, hitherto tn
hotbeds of revolutionary activity"
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
N MAID.

~. -
sIhate q tunnel! !" the maiden said
n closer to the drummer drew
They always make me feel afraid
o. some disaster don't they you?
And then the drummer shook his name.
You're safe with me y said he.
Whatever may happen to tho train,
You always can rely on me u
And, with ear-splitting Whistles shrek,
The train plunged in the dark abyss;
The drummer sought her blooming cheek
n frescoed 1t with manly kiss.
Emboldened by her sweet alarm,
As on they tore through that eclipse,
He laid her head upon his arm,
And friezed . dado on her lips,
aAh, me T. the maiden swestly smiled,
As he arranged her tumbled hat,
And once again the sunbeams filed
In at the window where they sat.
"Ah, me for once that horrid pest
Was robbed of every startling fear,
THANK you for your interest:
Excuse me, sir, l get off here!n
And SO she left him drowned In signs,
And on the sea Of soft dreams tossed,
OF her sweet lips mi pure bright eyes,
SO quickly gained and quickly lost.
To dream but ali, at last to wake
And learn that in the tunnels din
She seized upon her chance to snake
His watch and chain and diamond pin.
-Drdkp's Md1dziue.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
HOW THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
CAME.

HOW THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
CIME.
There was a grocery just across from
the depot, and on a bench under the
window were seven large watermelons.
A short, cadaverous-looking colored
mar sat on a baggage truck, looking
across at the grocery. After a bit one
Of Il crowd sauntered up to him and
carelessly observed:
"Some fine melons wei there"
Deed dey is" was the reply.
DO colored folks ever eat water
melons?"
Does dey? Does dey eat water
mellyons! I should reckon to consider
dat dey did"
rs that so? How many colored
men about your size would it take to
get away with one large melon?"
How many? Say, boss, pears to ME
you doan' lib in dis kentry."
No; I'm just over from England"
dat accounts. Yer doan' know us.
How many would it take? You'd
better AK how many mellyons would be
wanted fur one Guild pusson named
Josephus Pardon"
You don't meal you could eat a
whole one?'
"Doan' I. If ] can't eat de hull seben,
I'll go off to de swamp an die"
We Clipped in to buy up the whole
lot and gave the man the golden oppor,
tunity of his life. The melons were
brought over and laid in a row, and 10.
sephus removed his hat and coat and
let out his leather belt three notches.
and sat down with his back braced
against a box.
Rip went the knife as he got the
word, and the storm had burst. He
cut the melon into four pieces, dropped
the knife, and in just two minutes by
the watch nothing was left but a hear
of rinds and a handful of seed. A sec
ond was rolled over to him. and he
gained five seconds on his other time.
On the third he lost ten seconds, an6
on the fourth nearly a minute. He cut
the fifth, ate a quarter of it, and Their
stood up to inquire:
WAS it spected dat 1 was to eat dc
hull seben right DOWN.
"Oh. no. The idea was tosee how
many you could eat at once"
"Wall, ize a leetle disappointed in my
self. did believe I could git away
wild de lot in bout half an hour. but ize
sorter filled up on fo'. Reckon I hahn
feelin' overly we'll, an dat de dozer
turnips I ate dis mawnin' hev sorte1
held me off. If you would be so kline
as to give ME bout five minutes to fnisl
up de rest of dis, an den let me take
de odder two down dar' in de bush by
myself. I'm a b~elievin' dar' won't b.
nuthin' left by sun-high"
He 500 finished the fifth, and ther
took q melon under each arm and mad,
for the thicket down the track. Twenty
minutes after he left the train cam
along, and as we rode past the thicke
Josephus rose up with a solitary melo1
in his hands, bowed his thanks anc
shouted:
"Ize gwind ter do it, white man! IT.
de only n eft, an I'll git away wiz
him befo' you dun got down to Peters
burg"
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
Tho Scat Of Pain and P1ea.ure,

The nervous system, often suffers a diminu-
ton of vgor, and causes mental annoyance,
and even positive disturbance, without disease
in the sensorium itself. 1t acts as a mere re-
hector, in many cases, of inaction in the
stomach, and consequently Of incomplete as
similation of the food by the blood. This, OF
course, weakens it, in common with the rest OF
the tissues, and renders it less able to bear
without suffering On ordinary strain that
would make no impression upon strong nerves.
To supply a deficit OF strength, and remedy a
supersensitiyeness in the nerves incident to q
lack Of vigor, Hostetter's Ston ach Bitters is far
better adapted than any mere neryine or simple
tonic, since the offspring OF its use, complete
nerve force and ~quietuda. Malarinl attacks,
rheumatism, bowel, liver and kidney complaints
succumb to the Bitters,
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
Deafness Can't Re Cured.

By local application, as they can not reach the
diseased portion OF the ear. There is only one
way to cure Deafness, and that is by constdtu-
tional remedies. Deafness is caused by an In
famed condition Of the mucous lining Of the
Eustacbian Tube When this tube gets 1nHamed
you have a rumbling sound or imperfec,
hearing, and whom it is entirely closed Deafness
is the result, and unless the Inflammation can
bs taken out and this tube restored to its nor.
NAL condition, hearing will be destroyed for
ever; nine cases out of ten are caused by
catarrh, which Is nothing but an tnfamed con.
dition of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case Of Deafness Caused by catarrh) that we
can not cure by taking Halls Catarrh Cure.
Send for circulars, free.
F. ]. CHENEY g. CO., Toledo, o.
ATEold by druggists, 75c.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29

SAY said the hotelkeeper to the
reporter, IF there's one thing 1 do get
tired of it's the way people have OF
telling me how to run Il hotel. One
fellow says l ought to do this, and an
other says [ ought to do that. BY the
way, it's a wonder to me you fellows
don't write that kind of people up.
It's Just the thing you ought to do.
If l was running a newspaper you bet
Td-what are you grinning at, I'd like
to know?"
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1889-11-29
A Pleasing Sense

OF health and strength removed and OF ease
and comfort follows the use or Syrup OF
Figs. as it acts in harmony with nature to
efectually cleanse the system when costive
or bilious. For sale in 500 and 81 bottles
by all lending DRUGGISTS.