River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1889-03-14
COUNTRY euNco sTEERERs.
How CITY Men Fall Easy Victims to Their
shrewdIy Planned Schemes.

COUNTRY BONOO . EEhehSs
How CITY Men Fall Easy Victims to Their
ShrewdIy Planned Schemes
The story of the unsophisticated hay
seed being relieved Of his shining gold
by the lashy swell, who recognizes
him on the street as an old friend, has
been told so often that one would nat
urally suppose that that is all that can
be related on the subject.
But this IS not so. The rural dis
tricts have many bunco-steerers, who
lie in wait for the urbanite who settles
in the blooming lea to squander the
dollars of New York in New Jersey.
These bunco-steerers are Innocent
looking yokels, who don't appear to be
overstoclSed with everyday intelli-
gence, and no city man would ever inn
agine them capable of fleeing him.
They don't step up and say: ''Are
you Mr.. Smith, of Rochester," and fol-
low it up by inquiring after the health
of the family.
They 90 to the barber-shop, that
boundless bureau OF information in
every Town, and ask:
WHO is that man who just moved
into the yellow house on Brick Hill?'
"Bunkardr' replies the barber, as he
gives his victim spirited upper cut.
Then the bunco-steerer mounts his
stills. and struggles through the in.
carnadined mud to the residence of Mr..
Bunkard.
After the door is opened, he says:
as Mr.. Bunkard IMP"
And when he is told that Mr.. Bunk.
ard is in. and Mr.. Bunkard appears,
| the rural bunco-steerer asks:
.'Ah, Mr.. Bunkard. would you like
to buy some hickory at five dollars pei
cord?''
As a matter of fact, hickory is so
scarce that carriage makers use ash
when they make hickory wheels; but
/ Mr. Bunkard does not know this. He
would know how TO take the farmer in
| in a Wall street grain-pool in which
/ there is no grain; but when it comes
/ to f!rewood, he doesn't even know that
hickory is superior to pine. So he or.
/ ders two cords of hickory, and in the
course of a few days receives one cord
of chestnut, for which he pays ter
/ dollars.
Then the bunco-steerer goes to the
/ florist and tells him what an easy VIC
! tim Mr. Bunkard is; and in few days
the florist goes around and sells Mr..
Bunkard a dozen onions for Roman
hyacinths. But he first dips them into
hot water, that they may not develop
and expose the swindle.
In the spring-time, these creatures
who live on the fat of the city man, come
around to rake up the place, and re
move the dead leaves and ashes. they
make bargain to do it for fifteen dol
lars. Mr. Bunkard thus thinks he i,
getting a bargain, and he orders then
TO go ahead. They start at eight in
the morning, and have the job finished
| by roon-time; and when he come:
home at four they are waiting for theil
money.
After day or two, Mr.. Bunkard is
told by a plumber that he ought to
have his place cleaned up. But he
doesn't suspect that the first cleaners
up purposely left it in such a state tha
he would have to employ others. 81
| the plumber sends his brother up, anC
he gathers ten dollars for doing the
job that was only worth five to star
on.
In the summer, man comes anC
offers to cut the grass for two dollar;
per day; and he purposely runs Mr.
Bunkard's lawn mower over stones and
breaks it beyond repair. Then he rec
ommends Mr.. Bunkard to get Para
| CELSIUS mower down in the village, a
Crowley's; and if he does so, Crowley
gives the buncO-labOrer a good com.
mission; and whether he does or not
the laborer secures a days employ
ment raking the stones out of the
grass.
When he renders his bill, he adds 8
day that he never put in on the place;
and if Mr. Bunkard mentions it, he
says it was rainy day, and that he
spent it chopping up barrels for kin
ding wood i'm the cellar. Then he, the
buncO-steerer, has the exprcssman
drive Off the roadway foot or so and
hack the lawn to pieces, to create d
fresh job
In the autumn, Mr.. Bunkard is wait.
ed upon by man who tells him that
! if he wants "a green lawn next summer
| he must have some fertilizer put on.
Then he suggests that "A blind drain be
put down the middle OF the road, to
keep it from being washed up against
the house and down the cellar win
I dows After he has left with an order,
his brother calls on Mr.. Bunkard,
under a different name, to see if he car
| sell him a barrel of cider. The cider
which is short in measure, is put in
the cellar to develop into vinegar
Mr.. Bunkard is told that it will be
vinegar in three months, and tho
vender leaves a small hole in the bar
rel so that it is soon empty, and Mr..
Bunkard never learns that it originally
| contained water.
And in the winter it is just the same
| for at that season Mr.. Bunkard EN-
ploys a man to care for his furnace
and he leaves all the drafts on and
burns up all the coal he can in the in.
terest of the coal dealer; and occa
sionally lets it go out at night to freeze
the pipes, in the interest Of tho plum.
I Der.
And so, year after year, the country
bunco-steerer works his little game,
and has the art to conceal his art in
such way that he is universally re.
garded as pure as the white rose at his
peaceful sill, and one who ought not
to be allowed to go off the farm alone,
Puck.
Cured by an Accident.