davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-09-05
photography Quite Needless.

Oakland, Md, rejoices in the possession of
a dusky citizen who in turn rejoices in the
name of George Newton Sandomire
George Newton cannot read, but that lack
does not prevent him from porting over the
newspapers (which he usually holds upside
DOWN and imagining that he is absorbing
information through his finger ends.
Not long ago some official had occasion &c
record his name, when the following colloquy
ensued:
What is your names"
George Newton Sandomire, sab"
How do you spell itF
Spell It'll Don't spell it at all, sab. jist
rites it right down "-Pittsburg Chronicle.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-09-05
Teaching the New Girl.

There's a beau of yours in the parlor,"
was the style in which a rather new house
maid announced u caller to tue eldest daugh-
ter of the house few days ago. Afterward
her mistress said to Bridget: when person
calls to see any member of the family you
should say; A gentleman to see you, ma'am,
or sir"
Bridget acquiesced quietly, but the next
day when lady called TO see her mistress she
came upstairs and said:
please, m, there's a gentleman, but it's a
lady 10 see you"
The course of tuition is 81. Pittsburg
Dispatch.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-09-05

By ordinary letter, containing Money
Order issued by all Express Compsnit ?,
New. York Exchange, Draft or Postal Note. ri
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-09-05
AGENTS WANTED.

az For Club Rates, or any further Informs
ton desired, write legibly to The undersigned.
clearly stating your residence, with State
County, Street and Number. More rapid re-
turn mail delivery will be suled By your
enclosing an Envelope bearing your full
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-09-05
CAPITAL PRIZE, 100000.

One Hundred Thousand Tickets at SO;
Halves, $40; Quarters. So: Tenths So:
Twentieths 81.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-09-05
An Old Hospital.

For more than seven hundred and fifty
years the st. Bartholomew hospital in Lon
Ion has 6ourished upon its present site; and
its Smithfeld gateway, through which passed
men of the generation whose fathers saw
William the Conquerer enter London, has
ever since been open to the sick poor.-Dr
Norman Moore. War len
Inc Difference.
Speaking of the pioneers in electrical
application who have reaped golden har-
vests, Progressive Age says Professor A.
G. Bell was at one time walking about
Washington anxious to sell telephone
stock for ten cents on the dollar Before
that he was teaching deaf and dumb
school in Boston. The telephone brought
him fame and riches, and he has now an
income of hundreds of dollars a day and
a fortune of 100000. e. F. Brush is
said to have been working at SIS per
week before he struck the electric light
which made him a millionaire
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27

Writer in st. Paul Pioneer Rress.
Did you ever hear of fish being show eled
out of the wateri This is a fish story. but
of its truth l am ready to vouch with up
raised hand. In 1886 the water of eaver
lake. Wisconsin, was very low when ice
was formed at the edge of winter. owing To
the continued drought during the summey
months. The lake is known as a back
water lake, being formed, although four
teen miles long and from one-haf to two
miles wide, by a DAM at the outlet not over
fifteen feet high. On its northern
shore are numerous warm. springs.
When the lake closed the fish.
comprising mostly the homely. but re-
garded by some a most edible fish, the bull
head. headed for the springs in order to get
breathing spaces. Owing to the low water
they were so packed in that they could be
lifted out by baskets or thrown ont with
shovels. Farmers came in from the sur
rounding country and bought them by
sleigh loads from the Poles who caught
them to carry home to feed to the hogs and
to use as a fertilizer. From accounts sent
the Milwaukee newspapers from time To
time it is estimated that 100 loads of these
fish were taken from the waters. Ger
tain it is that during the following
season the angler who has been ac-
customed to catch a hundred of these
horny members of the fiDiy tribe in an
hour had to be content with a bite or two.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27

A Brief Biography of the Man Addicted to
Strong Drink.

october Contemporary.
The last person who ever suspects that a
wife drinks is always the husband; the last
person who ever suspects that any given
man is bitten with drink is the man him.
self. SO stealthily, SO softly does the evil
wind itself around a mans being that he
very often goes on fancying himself q
rather admirable and temperate customer
until the crash comes. 1t is all SO easy
that the deluded dupe never thinks that
anything is far wrong until he finds his
friends are somewhat beginning to fight
shy of him. No one will tell him what ails
him, and l may say that such q course
would be quito useless, for the person
warned would surely fly into atpassion,
declare himself insulted, and probably per-
form some mad trick while his nerves were
Oh edge.
Well, there comesa time when the doomed
man Is disinclined for exertion. and he
knows that something is wrong. He has
become sly almost without knowing it. and,
although he is pining for some stimulus. he
pretends to go without, and tries, by the
Himsiest of devices, to deceive those around
him. Now that is a funny symptoms; the
master vice, the vice that is the pillar of the
revenue. always, without any exception
known to me, turns a man into 2 sneak. and
1T generally turns him into a liar as well.
So sure as the habit of concealment sets in,
so surely we may be certain that the dry rot
of the soul has begun.
The drinker is tremul0us; he fnds that
ISut ucNctdScS dTc uSeleSS 10 ulul, duu Nc
tries something that burns; his nerve re-
covers tone; he laughs at himself for his
early morning fears, and gets over another
day. But the dry rot is spreading; body
and soul react on each other. and the for.
lOrn one soon begins TO be fatally false n
weak in morals. and dirty and slovenly in
person. Then in the dead, unhappy nights
he suffers all the torments that can be en-
dnred if he wakes up after his days supply
of alcohol lies stagnant in his system. No
I'M Oln1fInn Is 60 rafrncnanflUQ aG fha
~drunkard's, and the drunkard's remorse is
the most terrible torture known. The wind
cries In the dark and the trees moan; the
agonized man who lies waiting the morning
thinks of the times when the whistle of the
wind was the gladest of sounds to him; his
old ambitions wake from their trance and
come to gaze on him reproachfully; he sees
his fortune land mayhap fame) have passed
him by. and all through his own fault; he
may whine about imaginary wrongs during
the day when he is maudlin, but the night
fairly throttles him if he attempts to turn
away from the stark truth, and he remains
pinned face to face with his beautiful dead
self. Then. with a start, he remembers that
he has no friends.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27

Facts That Seem to Prove that Men Do Not
Fear to Die.

70 Dios
New idea.
Sir Lyon Playfair, in a letter to Junius
Henri Browne, author of q paper with the
above title, says: Having represented a
large constituency the University of Edln-
burgh) for seventeen years as a member of
Parliament, / naturally came in contact
with the most eminent medical men in
England. have put the question to most
of them, Did you, in your extensive
practice, ever know a patient who was
afraid to die!'. With two exceptions they
answered No.
"One of these exceptions was Sir Benia-
min BrOdie. who said he had seen one case.
The other was Sir Robert Christian, who
had seen one case, that OF q girl of bad
character. who had a sudden accident. /
have known three friends who were par
TALLY devoured by wild beasts under ap-
parently hopeless circumstances OF escape.
The first was Livingstone, the great Afri-
can traveller, who was knocked on his back
by a lion, which began to MUNICH his arm.
He assured me that he felt no fear OF pain.
and that his only feeling. was one of in
tense curiosity as to which part of the
body the lion would take next. The next
was Rustem Pasha. now Turk
ish ambassador in London. a
part of his hand and part of his arm and
shoulder. He also assured me that he had
neither pain nor fear. but that he felt ex-
cessively angry because the bear grunted
with 30 much satisfaction in munching
him.
1.-The third case is that of Sir Edward
Bradford, an Indian officer now occupying
a high position in the Indian Office. He
was seized in a solitary place by a tiger,
which held him firmly behind the shoulders
with one paw and then deliberately de-
voured the whole of his arm, beginning at
the end and ending at the shoulder. He
was positive that he had no sensation of
fear, and thinks that he felt a little pain
when the fangs went through his hand, but
is certain hat he felt none during the
munching of his arm"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27
THE VIRTUE In ONIONS.
just Try the Fragrant Vegetable When You
IN Get Quinine.

just Try the Fragrant Vegetable When You
Can't Get Quinine.
American Garden.
One day / was taken with chills and head
ache, signs hat my old enemy, malaria,
was or hand. My quinine box was empty.
and / was looking forward to a restless,
sleepless night. In desperation i peeled q
raw onion and slowly ate it. and then went
to bed with warm feet and an extra com
forter, when, presto! / was asleep in five
minutes. and awaked in the morning free
from malaria and ready for the days duty.
Our homely but strong friend will be ap-
preciated in time as a medicine, and If ag-
ricultnrists would turn their attention to
raising q model onion, with the strong
scent taken out that taints the breath SO
unpleasantly, families will be putting their
pills in the cellar by the barrel, and the
doctors will take to onion farming. The
onion acts as a cathartic and diuretic, and
may help to break up a cold or lessen the
bad symptoms. Said a doctor: II always
store a barrel of onions In my cellar during
the fall. We nave them cooked twice a
week, and whoever of the family is threat
ened with a cold eats some onion raw. If
this vegetable were generally eaten there
would be no diphtheria. rheumatism, govt,
kidney or stomach trouble.
But bless you, the young men and wom-
en- are afraid to eat them. One young man
went so far as to say to me: If my wife ate
onions l would get a bill of divorce"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27

Here lies a common man. His horny hands,
Cross'd meekIy as a maids upon his breast,
Show marks Of toll, and by his general dress
You judge him TO have been an artisan.
Doubtless, could all his life be written out,
The story would not thrill nor start a tear;
He worked, laughed, loved, and suffered In his
time,
And now rests peacefully, with upturned face
Whose look bellies all struggle in the past.
A homely tale: yet, trust me, / have seen
The greatest of the earth go stately by,
While shouting multisudes beset the way,
With less of awe. The gap between a king
And me-, a naineless gazer IN the crowd,
Seemed not so wide as that which stretches now
Betwixt us two, this dead one and myself.
Untitled. dumb. and deedless, yet he is
Transfigured by a touch from out the skies
Until he wears, with a-I-unconscious grace,
The strange and sudden dignity of Death.
Richard 4. Burton, in November Scribner.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27

Little Opportunity for the Display of An.
HerOics of Glory.

Little Opportunity for the Display of Any
HerOics of Glory.
United Service Review.
A battle does not consist, as many imagine,
in a grand advance of victorious lines of at
tack sweeping every thing before them. or
the helter-skelter flight of the unfortunate
defeated. The historian must SO present it
in his descriptions. the artist in his paint
ings. Even the writer of an official account
must limit himself to the presentation of
such moments as demand special treat
ment OF to such episodes as involve i'm
pOrtant and instructive tactical movements.
ALI those events which are less striking,
which pass more quietly, but which, never
theless, contribute to the final result, can
pansion. Those incidents which no &C
count of the battle, official or unofficial.
takes any note of, the thousand and one
events observed only by the participants,
the i@nn4nerable eases in which the dirsc.
hands of the Officers-these are the little
drops of water hat make the mighty
ocean of battle n determine victory or
defeat.
is generally very prOsaic. After an uncom-
Portable night passed in a wet or cold biv-
ouac, where the men wrapped in their over
coats. have been gathered shivering about
the campfire. trying in vain to get warm;
the draught of pure. cold water was the
only palatable constituent, the soldier goes
forth to battle. There he may never even
see the enemy; indeed, unusually long
halts, uncomfortable standing still un-
der shrapnel fire, or apparently use
less camping in mud and under
small-arm fire await him. The feel
ing of being exposed to the invisible
missiles of the enemy, mingled with the
uncertainty as to what is going on to the
right and left, often produces in the best Of
trOOpS great depression. and n consequent
falling off in offensive strength, aver when
progress. In such moments tactics are ex-
hausted, and it is only a question of grit
and sense of duty.
Sheridan tells us: "Indeed, the battle of
Chickamauga was something like that of
Stone River, victory resting with the side
that had the grit to defer longest its relin-
quishment of the field" Still more pressing
is the appeal to the morale of the troops
when an unfortunate termination of the
battle forces an army which has done its
duty to retire. Exhausted to the last gasp,
its resistance, pushed to the highest pitch,
gives way, and with frightful reaction the
resistless mass plunges to the rear. This is
to-day no longer an organized retreat from
position to position, as our predecessors
taught and practiced, but IN uncomfortable
current like the mountain torrent. which,
fraught with havoc and disaster, overfiows
it's banks. Woe to the land that can oppose
no other dams to this stream a. strategy,
tactics and the instruction of the troops.
These will be washed away like sand heaps
by the roaring waters.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27

A Lazy Man Tells Two Hunters Something
They Never Knew Before.

A Lazy Man Tells Two Hunters Something
They Never Knew Before.
Hartford lConn) Letter In New York SUM-
Toiland county farmers are labor-saving
machines In u high degree. One OF them re-
Gently came upon two Nimrod from the
digging out a woodchuck which had been
tracked to his lair. They were making
slow progress, and the old man finally OBJ
say, you're darn fools to go to work
that way. Yew will never git the ~critter.
He kin dig as fast as yew kim"
Well, how would You go to works"
"Haowi Go an git q turtle
What good'n that do. We're out after
woodchueks, not turtles"
WAL, Pm tellin' we. Git a turtle. One
of We watch ter see the ~graound-hog don't
come aout.. Tother git "a turtle"
t"The old mans off in his head. Don't
mind him." This from one of the hunters.l
."Naow, see here. P'raps l be crazy. an
p'raps j hain't. Yew git me a turtle, an
I'll hev that graound hog out o. his hole, an
he won't wait bout it. 'nuther. He'll come
quick"
The old fellow was asked to explain him.
self.
"a ground hog is a inicky crittur,v he
said: things be likes he likes, an things
Naow. eff he hates one thing wus'sn anuther
it's smoke. Turns his stummuck. l reckon.
an rifles his in'ards. Eff VOW want him to
come out o a hole. jeff git smoke IN thar.
He'll como so quick ye KIN jest see him.
Git a turtle. an tie er string ter his tail.
Git a bunch er rags, right size, an tie 'em
ter yer string. TIE 'em 'baout q foot from yer
turtle. Git some kerosene or turpentine.
Some stuff tibet stinks is best. The wuss tn
stink tn better. Smear yer rags with yer
t~urpentine, or whatever yey's got. Set yer
turtle IN the mouth of yer hole. an light
yer rags. Turtle won't wait. He'll walk
agin time. Yew wouldn't think q turtle
kud walk as fast as one will under these
circumstances. Eff You pint him right he
cant walk nowhar but straight daown that
graound-hog's hole. Graound-hog don't
wait. Thinks it's Their day o. Judgment, l
reckon. He comes aout tother end o. hole.
When he does. knock him on tn head.
Whole thing as easy as fallin' off a log"
The aged farmer departed peacefully
across the lot. Two hunters sat by a hole,
and a shovel, and a heap of gravel. The
form of the agriculturist was growing dim
in the distance, when an idea smote the
hunters.
Hey! What becomes of the ~turtlei"
The answer came back family: 81
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES graound-
hog,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27

What Was Its of His Coul
age and Self Reliance.

age and Self-Reliance.
Col. H. G. Prout. in November Scribner.
What was the secret of his wonderful
powere Much of it lay i'll his fearlessness,
much in his swiftness of thought and ac-
ton, and much in what the Yankee would
well as great. He could ride. and shoot, and
tinker. and conduct campaigns, n negoti-
ate treaties, all with unhesitating self-reli-
ance. AS matter of course such a man takes
command. Gordon never lacked o%pportuni-
ties TO show these qualities When steaming
quietly up the Nile a monkey with which
he was playing fell overheard. Inatwink-
ling Gordon was III the water after him.
By good luck the c~rocodiles got neither
gOvernOr-general nor monkey. When q
nugger was being hauled up the rapids
some way south of Lado the cable got away
from the men on the bank and the vessel
was swept on the rocks. No one would vol
unteef to 60 out and pick up the cable.
a %snt Gordon alone! jumped FED into to a . saif a sSa
skiff upset and the governor general
sat some hours dripping on a rock. but his
men had a lesson. On another occasion the
garrison of one of the stations was thrown
into much anxiety by seeing Gordon alone,
rowing across the river to the east bank,
which in that region was occupied by in
tensely hostile negroes. He landed, made
his boat fast. and tried, by a dis
the savages to come and talk with him.
They simply sat on the hillside and
scowled. Finally Gordon shot a hippo
potamus and padded hack, leaving the
beads on the shore and a fine feast of hip
popotamus meat in the rushes. Another
man would AVE been killed. l was
amused to see on his table at Khartoum
handsome spoons and forks with his crest
half effaced by rough scratches. / could
fancy Gordon, vexed by some unusual
flummery, seizing a rat-tail file and pro-
ceeding to put out of his sight one more
vanity. 1t was not that he was not proud
of his family. On the contrary, he could
paw a man no greater compliment than to
say You are like a G0rdon;" but all the
marks and signs of rank sometimes became
intolerable to him.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27
NAPOLEON AND THE LANCER.
Red Tape Necessary to Answer the Empe-
ror's Simple Question.

49,
ror's Simple Question.
Youths Companion.
Busy men, accustomed to do business in
a brisk, cOmmOn-sense fashion, find official
red tape so vexatious that it is no wonder
they invent stories to make 1T ridiculous.
good as any,. When Napoleon LII was
Emperor, so the narrative runs, he sat one
day at Longchamps, sleepily reviewing his
army. Regiment after regiment passed.
but nothing seemed to stir the Emperor
from his lethargy. AT last, however. as
a regiment of dragons rode by, he sudden
ly fixed his attention upon the front rank.
What is that lancer doing there among
the dragoonslv he asked his chief of staff.
The chief of staff looked at the lancer.
and galloped away to the division COM
mander, while the Emperor sank back into
his customary impressiveness.
The Emperor demands to know why that
lancer is among the d~ragoonsg"
The General looked shocked. n called
sharply to the colonel of the regiment:
Colonel, what have o got that lancer
among our men for"
The Colonel was dumbfounded and ap-
pealed to the commandment of the squadron:
What that lancer doing here!"
IL don't know, sir" exclaimed the COM
mandant of the squadron; and called the
captain. +.
Look here. Captain. why have you got
that rascally lancer in your company,
ttptokn PttatCi Il Al ekch
the lieutenant" he said.
By this time the inquiries began to be
garnished with oaths and abuse. The lieu
tenant, apparently surprised beyond ex-
preston at the presence of the lancer.
hurled questions and imprecations all at
once at the mead of the orderly sergeant.
what in the world is that lancer here
for!"
Then the orderly sergeant rode up to the
lancer himself as if he were about to cut
HIM through TO his saddle.
You villain! What are you doing here
among the dragoonss The Emperor is
after you. You'll be shot at the very
least
But, sergeant the soldier stammered,
you know I've permitted. SIR
Formulation in the army means transfer,
by authority. from one corps to another.
-"Permuted, ehf" said the sergeant. well.
that won't help you now"
The orderly sergeant went to the lieu
tenant with the report that the man had
permnted; the lieutenant told the captain,
and the captain the commandant of the
squadron. and the commandment of the
squadron the colonel. and the colonel the
general, and the general the chief of staff,
came to the Emperor.
Sire" lie began, 1.-The lancer has per-
muted.,
What lancer?"
THE lancer whom you Majesty noted
among the dragons"
''Oh. yes. He's permitted. eh,r said the
Emperor. sIeepily. "Weil, he looked like a
good man. Let him have a medal.w
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27

of the ex-Congressman if the latter was
trying to retrench by smoking cheap
twenty-five-cent cigars. He said that Mr..
Scott once bought some costly cigars. and
the report got out that he paid S1.40 for
each. They may have cost over a dollar
each. but after the box was used no more
high-priced cigars were purchased. Mr..
Scott" he added, lis a constant smoker,
and, although ne knows q good cigar, l be-
business he would not know whether he
was smoking a two-cent cheroot or a fifty
cent imported Havana. His cigar bill
yearly is quite large. but not e~xtravagant
for a man of his means
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1889-10-27
Negligence of the Fool Killer.

Rochester Democrat
If there are those who imagine that the
light of Mr.. Ward McAllister had gone ont
and that he had sought the oblivion which
seclusion grants. they will realize the mag
nitude of their mistake when they observe
that he has bobbed up serenely with an
original proposition in his own peculiar
line. Neither age, snubs nor ridicule can
wither him, and with the confidence born
of genius he now proposes TO get up a grand
ball at the Metropolitan Opera-house for
the exclusive benefit of the noble four hum
dred. 1t is a great idea emanating in p
great head. and must possess strong fascina-
tions for %snobbery.