Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-04-07

me to send eongratulatlonSG
If your friend is lady, send your card
with vour best wishes The rule is to ex-
tend congratulations to the groom and best
wishes to the bride.
ENGAGEMENT RINGS.
1. About how long after an engagement
should the engagement ring be presented?
2. And what is the style usually given?
GEORGE.
1. There is no definite time, but the ring
should be presented soon after the engage
ment unless it is to be kept private. Either
solitaire diamond or pearl set in plain gold.
If a gentleman is introduced TO an unmarried
lady, and she invites hlm to call, should he first
obtain her parents permission to cal2
It is not necessary, but when the call is made
inquiries should be made for the parents.
/ Is it proper for a lady to ask a gentleman
to can on slight acquaintance? 2 Is it proper
for young man to shake hands with lady on
being intToducedf
l. No. 2 The initiative should come from
the lady A gentleman should in no case be
the first to offer to shake hands
AT THE THEATER-
When escorting a young lady to the theater,
and being met at the entrance by the usher,
which of us should follow immediately after
hinf Should the lady precede her escort down
the aisle, which is too narrow for both. or
should the gentleman Immediately follow the
usher2 IGNORANCE
It may be said that the presence of an usher
should not change the attitude of lady's es-
cort, but 1t is undoubtedly embarrassing for
lady TO bring up in the rear Of the procession,
and for this reason it would be considerate for
her if her escort fell behind
LEAVING CARDS.
List at present good form to address let
ter to gentleman without the prefix Mr.? 2"
Should it be Mr. Frank R. Smith or Frank r.
ception cards to their friends s.Mr. and Mrs
Smith at home Thursdays in April" and re-
ceive in style with refreshments, ETC., is an
other call or card required from those who at
tend the reception before the bride returns her
calls? And how soon after the reception should
the call be made? g Should the persons at
tending the reception leave their cards, and
where should they leave them if no card re-
ceiver is placed ready for them? Shall they
hand them to the servant who opens the door,
lay them on the marble slab of the hat tree or
on a table in the reception room? T. As it is
also the very sensible fashion Tor custom) now
to leave cards when attending funeral, ought
not every person TO provide an empty card re-
ceiver placed on a hat tree or table in the hall
of the house where the funeral is, so that it
will be accessible to all? INQUIRER.
l. An address to a gentleman should always
have the prefix Mr.. or the afix Esq. No,
the bride must return the call g. If no pro-
vision is made for cards leave them a table
OF manrel shelf, but do not give them to the
servant. 4 The custom of leaving cards at
funeral is new to US, and if it exists, is gnastly
rather than sensible, ana could have been in
vented by an undertaken only. The custom of
leaving cards in person at the door after a
death has become very general, but the idea Of
converting funeral into reception is nothing
less than monstrous.
Ought a gentleman enter a private office
smoking and wearing his hat? haze seen
numerous instances Of this exhibition of what
seems to me to be very bad manners.
RICHARD S.
A man has no more right to enter genIle-
mans private office smoking his cigar and
wearing his hat on his head than to enter
lady's parlor in this manner. 1t is not un-
common, we are sorry to say, but it is in
exeusable
THE USE OF TooTHPICKS.
Is it good taste for a gentleman to carry a
toothpick in the mouth? LIB.
1t is in extremely bad taste. The custom Of
carrying the toothpick in the mouth is a COM
psratively recent habit, and a very disagreea-
BILE one. Men, from whose appearance we
should suppose would know better. may now
be seen everywhere masticating their tooth
picks, playing with their toothpicks, talking
as it were, through their toothpicks proving
themselves to be vulgarious by means of their
toothpicks. This habit should be reformed
altogether.
CORRECT STATIONERY.
Should private correspondence be written
upon paper with business headings? CB.
Distinctly not A lady's and gentleman's
correspondence should be written on a fine
quality of note paper upon which nothing
should be printed but the writer's address.
Travellers who write upon paper with hotel
headings, people who send private communlca-
tions upon postal cards or who write upon
cheap ruled paper violate good taste. The
character of a persons correspondence and the
quality of his stationery are dumb witnesses to
his social standing
When meeting lady on the street and want
ing to give her message, is it proper to stop
her? ALBERT.
No. You should turn and walk with the lady,
and when you have delivered your message lift
your hat and depart.
At dinner recently gentleman on nv right
hand side frequently turned his back upon me
in order to converse with person on the other
side of him. The same gentleman persisted IN
talking across me to person on my left side.
Was it good manners to do either of these
things? CLARA B.
Very bad manners, but fortunately exhibi.
tions of the kind are not numerous. A gentle
man should converse with any one next to him
by simply turning his head, not his entire body,
and on no account talk across person next to
him'to some one beyond. 1t is things of this
kind that make the difference between boor.
ish and well-mannered person.
A NEW WORD NEEDED.
How must 1 address an unmarried lady in
writing to her? Miss or Madam?
1t is necessary to address her as "DeaI
Madam" To address lady as Miss, either in
speech or by writing, without her name, would
be as wrong, according to the canons of society
as to address man as Mister without his name
The En- hsh language really needs word
equivalent to the French ''MademoiseIle," by
which to address young women independent OF
their names, but as there is no such word, and
'sMiss' or "Dear Miss" is vulgar, there i,
nothing to do but to use Madam" inappropri
ate as it often is.
THE AUTHOR OF DON'T"