The Arkansaw traveler. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1882-1???, 1889-06-15
BILL SNORT IN THE WHITE HOUSE

The presidents kinsfolk come in droves TO visit
him-The malarisl vapors of the Potomac flats
have no terrors for the reatives-One of the
Virginia Harrisons annoys the president-St. John
Wsnamaker Hsrrison's patron saint-Politics
and religion badly mixed-Colonel Snort tells
story that has spplication-Full text of the
great Texas journalists letter to Johnny Fizzletop.
WASHINGTON, May It.
to great many people in this country. Most of
them are here visiting their great kinsman. Harri-
son has no distant relatives they are all right
here. The White House is crowded like New
York hotel during the centennial. Relatively
speaking, Harrison is the most popular president
this country has ever produced. What we need is
an India rubber White House that will stretch,
and always accommodate a few more of the presi-
dents sisters cousins, and his uncles and his auns
They hard boiled lot particularly the
females who come here with the intention of
becoming "beautiful treasury girls" The male
relatives have the idea that "Cousin Ben" is going
to give them consolation in the shape OF conso-
ships
A few days ago, when fresh delegation arrived,
| remar ked to Russ Harrison
off this sort of thing keeps on the White House
will have to be enlarged to make room for them
all"
ooh no." replied the crown prince, "the White
House will not have be enlarged so long there
is room for us in the pension building and the
various departments Pa will attend to that"
And pa is attending to it. When galoot wants
college chum of Russ, and out goes Democrat and
in goes "chummy."
merely refer to this in order to show how little
sense there is in the low, sarcastic filings of the
Democratic press about the civil service reform
dog having been tied up in the White House
celer.
Perhaps the maddest man in the White House
is the colOred stenographer, who has been
PEELED to share his downy couch with an uncouth
presidential relative from the backwoods.
"Look heah," heard him say to the visitor, ''ef
some oh you kintolks don't go back whar you come
from, dis administrator will hab ter stick poles
out de winders for you all to roost on nights. Dis
house am already so crowded dat hossfy can't
turn around in hit. What you need am manners.
No gennerman from de souf eber spOnges on his
kinfOlks onless he has got an invite. Fse been
obleeged ter turn away my own kinfolks You all
wasn't raised properly OATS what de matter
wild you. Why don't yer go home and earn yer
own libin? Don't yer know dat de miasmatic
vapors am sure def ter lie yahoos from de back
woods? Go home on de mex train"
Yesterday tall, gaunt mulatto woman with
very arstocratic features put in appearance
you don't know me, does yer, honey3" said she
to Harrison.
The president replied that that happiness was in
store for him.
"Tse s'prised, deed l is, ter hear yer say 60 Pse
one oh yer kinfolks Pse one OBJ de ole Virginny
Harrisons. Yere great great grandfather, Gubonor
Harrison, OBJ Nirginny, was my half brudder
Why, bless yer, honey, de blood oh OBJ de fust
families oh ole Virginny am coursin' fru desc
veins. My grandmother was related ter Tom
Jefferson and John Randolph. We is kinfolks,
honey, deed we is pse pastry cook, besides"
"Then you are a regular old dough minion," said
i, loosely.
Pocahontas, as called her. took this for q COM
pliment but she was not employed, much to her
disgust