Mower County transcript., 1889-05-01
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

1T is the man who is neither just
nor generous, who is most apt in the
use OF the phrase, 'Be just before you
are generous. boston Courier.
A young physician was showing
friend recent purchase that he had
made in the way of a skeleton. "Very
lnteresting," commented his friend.
Zone of your patients, doctor?"
What does it profit u man to get
modern society novel for twenty-five
cents, if he has to buy an unabridged
dictionary and an encyclopedia before
be can understand it? - Shoe and
Leather Reporter.
-Skribler-''Have you read my new
novel, "A Story Without Hero?'"
| Carper-''Yes. think it misnaned,
however. Any man who reads it 4 "a
| through proves himself hero. -
Terrs Haute Express.
lawyer, entering the Office Of his
kM;4 physician, said, in hoarse
whisper: doctor, I've got such cold
this morning that 1 can't speak the
truth" I'm glad that it isn't any
thing that will interfere with your
business responded the doctor in a
tone,of sympathy.
Hobhs-''I understand that Dob
| Hon 5 wjse is a German, and that he
mastered, the German language to win
/ der" Jones-''Well, he must have
expended all his energies on the Ian
,nage, tFsu. lie has never mastered
aor. B" I: igton Free Press
f.! -Abo Aincty per cent. of all the
hmert wht ,sthrL cut in business fail be-
fors~shey get through, and there is a
disheartening suspicion in some quar-
ters that il is about what forty per
cent of them set out to ,A-SU ner-
vill< journal.
Familiar Fe,tow (tappiag digni-
fiedold gentleman on the shouldcr)-
"Ain't my face familiar to you?" Old
! Gentleman brushing him ofD-'1t's s
not ..lone your face that's FAMILIAR.
Yos: re altogether the most familiar
mac <ever s;lw. Texas Siftings.
| -''2sAaw,' said a lady to her hus-
band, who had been criticising her at
tire, "what does a man know about
" mars c'cthts, anyway?' ''He knows
the pr ca, my DEAR he replied. gently,
and she Observation-Disclosures Critic.
| Mrs. Gibson-':How did your hus-
band make his money, Mrs. Bankstock?
l remember when you were living-''
Living in the hall bedroom Of cheap
boarding-house. as you are living now,
1 presume you mean?' ''Well, you
needn't get touchy. Honest people
don't get rich as fast as some folks
might mention ''-Chicago Herald.
Men who live by their wits. who
proclaim no definite occupation, but
who are said to "speculate," are the
outcasts usually of some profession il
which, had their talents been properly
applied, they might perchance have
won a respectable position, OF eve1
fame. They leave the straight and cor
rect path, and with strange ups ant
downs try to reach the goal of success
by the insane process of seeking i
through blind and devious ways.
| mo girl under twenty" says ;
wise woman. has any business t,
think of marriage.' Bless you, no. W,
know that. At that age no girl think
of marriage as ''business' She jus
tumbles head over heels in love ant
marries the dear fellow just becaus,
she would cry her eyes out withou
him. 1t is when she is no longer wha
you would exactly call a ''girl," whel
she is rising thirty-eight and has Gu
her last new teeth, full set, that she be
gins to make a ''business'' of it.-Buf
falo Express.