New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-09-08
SUBURBAN LIFE.
A "REMINISCENCES OF WILLIAM ELLERY
PERKINS.

arc AZ the mercy of the Grocoryman-the gioceryinn
and the boy who delivers the morning paper. When
ncople are moving TO a suburb tho time they take up
pquring about malaria should be spent in cutvatinc
the eroccryman and the morning paper boy. In our
present suburb have model groceryman he
mahes specially Of fresh eggs, contributed by his
own staff hens. Our groceryman's hens run around
all over town seeking that exercise and fresh air so
essential to the health Of a hem The people do not
complain even whom his hens get through the fence
and wreck their pansy beds with that peculiarly
devastating touch known only 10 hen, when With
a powerful sweep she throws back her right foot
once and Immediately follows It with three quick
impusive rearward kicks with her left The grocery
man has fixed up nests for his hens In the room back
of tho store, whore their hestaung but cheerful
cackle is readily waited to the of any customers
who may happen be In Naturally his fresh eggs
arc in great demand. Sometimes he cannot wholly
fiji an order. The other day he brought eleven
oggs on order for a dozen. He apologized and
said It was all he had. He hated to disappoint us
on that other egg he said-in fact, his motto was
ave never disappointr-but he couldn't help It, II
we would overlook It he would promise IL should
never again. In fact he asked 30 withhold
any expressions Of disappointment that We might
feel like making this present case, Hope
had not entirely fed. There was hen He
almost thought no could hear her cackle then. He
would go back to his grocery and fresh egg emporium
and investigate.
BY the way, to wander from special instance to
a general observation, there is nothing In the range
OF oratorlcal effort moro interesting than grocery
mans statement of the condition OF the egg market
"Eggs-wen, yes. they fresh, OF course-eggs are
Is oents; fresh eggs. 20 cents; FRESH eggs. 2o
cents"
The population of this suburb is made up mostly
of policemen and nremen. Then there is one letter
carrier, there Is hardly any left without
uniform. The letter carrier is the only who
has TO do anything. The hremen never need arrest
ing and the policemen stubbornly refuse TO fire
their quarters there is nothing for either lot
| to do. The letter carrier has a harder time Of 1t.
however as every day, rain shine, he must carry
the policemen and the fremen their mail. We have
both pedestrian policemen and horseback policemen.
Some folks call them surface policemen and elevated
policemen. At first thought you would
say that you would rather be cavalry
policeman than infantry policeman, but
you must not forget that the equestrian officer has
take of his horse after hours rub him down
with broom. l thought all the time that would
rather be twostory officer TIL was going past the
station day, and the twostory fellows sweep
ing their horses with brooms. 1 can't any
why they couldn't these carpetsweepers that push
ahead like lawn-mOwer, but watched them for some
time and l couldn't any labor-savlng devices
| around anywhere. Take horse now, that has been
mopped and gone with feather duster. and then
roncd in good shape, and he is In much better cond.
ton than one that has been simply swept matter
how new the broom Is. We also have reclining police
men, though they really mounted policemen In
another position. Don't think for moment that the
horses throw them off, for they are not that kind OF
horses-far from t-but when policeman finds place
whore the IS tall and juicy he sometimes gets off
and turns his horse loose Craze while he lies down
Oh the ground and thinks and chuces quietly to him
self tho fix The London Tines has got itself IN TO-
OF course, If a riot breaks out the policeman isn't
there exactly. but the other hand lying there
cealed in the grass he IS, lots Of times sklttish
criminal that he could never have got any other
| way VIII walk up and without noticing what he is
doing, step right on the policeman, and no grabs him
by the leg and hangs and whOops like good fellow
for help. Our mounted police catch great many dan
gerous men this way such as burglars, confidence oper
aors and forth. 1t Is sort Of steel trap plan
that they arc not used to. The Chicago police I
| ing the same game on the Cronn murieTors.
We live IN very peculiar street To see IL you
would be willing to wager any reasonable amount that
| II went somewhere, but 1t doesn't 1t IS graded up
nicely and seems to well travelled-in fact it is 1t
along with gentle curves and smooth, easy sur
face and there large trees all along with low-hans
ing boughs heavy with leaves, and 1t seems 10 BIO a
main road, which must lead 10 some important place.
You never saw such snare and a deuson as 1t Is
About short block beyond house 1t goes up over
in among lot Of rocks, and bitches, and holes, and
tin cans and goats and winds up By coming sqlarely
against a high stone wall that must have been built
about the time of Washngton's Inauguration. and will
be there at the next centennial 1t is a dsappoint-
Ing unsatisfactory street which to have no OBJ
ject in life, pride in It's ending hope of contnu
alton sdll people keep following up that street with
! glad hope and buOyant expectancy written on their
faces thinking that they going somewhere, only to
find in tho that they have pursued shadow that
is hollow mockery, and which to dehIsve gns-
faus ashes of Dead Sea apples in their palsed grasp
| Some people would say the same thing and not make
so much fuss about IT, but like to be strong at the
end of paragraph
Mostly It IS the turnouts of the wealthy which go
wandering gayly up street, thinking that they
going somewhere, when. alas, they are not Usually
the carriages are these kind. with from two to four
| wheels and with one wide seat where the gentleman
| who owns II SITS generally with lady, and drives.
| The horses handsome new harnesses with white
collars their short summer tails and forth, while
| ON a little sort of individual seat put on behind
| SITS the goodman, whoever he u.s. with his arms
foaed and the tops of his boots rolled down. and with
that indescribable House of Lords air which be-
speaks the we'll trained English servant who hasn't
smiled since the last funeral he attended
I really don't know whether IT IS the coachman or
footman who Is attached behind these small turn
outs, where there isn't room Tor Doth OF thein III
isn't the butler, though, because he is something else
entirely That IS, he isn't acting in his capacity of
butler lust time, at least He may be different
filings ON occasion / once knew a young man who
was coachmsn, footman. butler and several other
things Just as tho situation demanded. very
well acquainted with him, and hope VIII not be &C.
cused of trying to lug IL in If say that we IN
college together. After graduating IN the classical
course and going through the law department with
honor he struck a frstraie position q general as
sistant IN the family of a gentleman In reduced Cir
cumsiances, but still proud Ny friends was
william Ellery Perkins After he had driven tho poor
but naughty family in the Park he would put the
horses in the barn, give them feed Of and little