Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-09-29
HYMEN KILLS CUPID.
Bessie Bramble Philosophers on the
Evils of Hasty Marriage.
THE PLEASURES OF coURTsHIP.
Welded Life for Many Women is but Q
Rough and Speedy
AwlKINa FROM LOVES YOUNG DREAM
WRITTEN ron THE DrspArcH.1

When girls allow themselves TO be hur-
ried into hasty marriage they little know
they are giving up the brightest and sweet
est time Of their lives. The men they love
are never so devoted, never SO bent upon
pleasing them. never so charming in man
ners and conversation as during courtship.
Then they dance attendance upon the girls
they admire, wait upon their wishes, hang
upon their lightest words, and pick up their
handkerchiefs with the most devoted gal
lantry. Nothing seems a trouble or hard
ship that is done by man for the woman
he loves and desires to marry.
1t is told of certain gentleman not a
hundred miles away that he used to walk
ten miles twice and three times a week to
see his beloved while they were engaged,
and this, too, in all kinds of weather. No
snow so deep or storm so great as to keep
him at home when his Mary Anne was await
ing him, decked out in her best things by
the side OF a bright fire, with love beaming
in her eyes, and akiss OF welcome on her
lips After a happy evening together, he
would sturdily start for home five long
miits away, and think all the way then how
happy he was. and to what bliss he should
attain when he and Mary Anne were married
and had little home of their own. Now
he is big business man, spends his even
ings mostly at the club, and wouldn't
bother mis- head to walk across the room for
a kiss when he comes home, let alone five
miles. Mary Anne, too, has found that
while courtship was the sweetest thing in
life, and perfect dream OF felicity, yet
marriage is a prosaic reality, with the per-
feet bliss left out.
THINGS HAVE CHANGED.
Another man, we'll known, was, as the
saying goes, per ectly infatuated with his
wife before marriage. He could not endure
that the wind should blow upon her too
roughly-he could not entertain the notion
that her beautiful hands should be soiled BY
drudgery-he could not bear the thought
that she would ever be subjected to hard
ship-he could not brook the idea that she
should be other than the being whom he
should surround with the halo OF a saint,
and all OF the delights and luxuries of life.
But alas, it was not many years after mar
riage before this beautiful darling, this cher
ished idol, this beloved sweetheart had to
take in boarders for living, while her hus-
band spends his pittance as a bookkeeper in
riotous living, and she drudges as galley
slave to keep the wolf from the door.
Marriage makes an amazing difference
in many cases, and if girl wants to have
bright spot, a lew sweet perfect months in
her life she will prolong the period OF court
ship as long as possible. Not only for the
sake Of her own immediate happiness. but
for the purpose of acquiring knowledge as
to the man she has consented to marry.
Marriage is fatal to love-" Is a common
saying that has loads of experience to sup
ifs hnf Ia 10 H.
always true, there is enough in it that
should make women chary OF accepting its
responsibilities TOO soon. They should
rather try to preserve their weeks OF bliss,
their sunny hours and gala days of court
ship, their bright, beautiful, lovely times
when love is regnant, clouds seem far away,
and trouble enters not into calculation OF
contemplation. ~ i.s
A GIRL IN LOVE
always sees the loved one as a hero. In her
eyes he can conquer fate, achieve wealth,
ride pom the topmost wave of success and
fame. To find him living upon her smiles,
oblivious to everything except as she wishes.
dead TO all desire save as she enters in, ready
to die If she ceases TO smile and love, is to
feel the sweetness Of power, the touch of o
laurel crown, the satisfied aspiration of
human nature in its longing for the best and
highest What sne needs to know is that
this glory. this happiness, this bliss is only
for lew short days-a sort OF interesting
and enhancing prelude to commonplace
everyday life where sentiment is crowded
out by the cares OF the world and house rent.
Long engagements are held In adherence
by maneuvering mothers and foolish and
impatient lovers, but nothing half so sweet
in lie should be denied to those whose hard
ralI Ill
cause. Before marriage a woman plays
first fiddle, she is queen OF the domain, she
is a star of the first magnitude, she is a saint
of the most approved pattern, an angel after
the highest order, but after the ordinance
of holy matrimony has been said over her,
after, with ring, she has been in church be-
fore witnesses, she becomes, as often hap
pens, simply q domestic drudge. She is
called queen of the home In sentiment, but
must knuckle down in many cases to the
boss of the establishment in reality.
MARRIAGE MAKES A DIFFERENCE.
No more does he listen to her as to an
oracle, but rather sets her down as one
whose judgment goes for nothing, and
whose words are entitled to little weight or
consideration. No more does he pick up
her handkerchief or kiss her shadow upon
the wall. No more does he wait upon her
wishes or hang his decisions upon her
words. No more does he endeavor to shield
her from all hardships or shelter her from
the trials OF the world. No more does he,
as representing the average OF men, run
after her whims or furnish willingly the
cash for their enjoyment. Before marriage
he is so deeply solictious about her comfort,
he is so earnestly devoted to making her
lie lovely, so entirely given over to love-
L fhuN he hrr.,
king, she halls him as hero, she earnestly
ieels she would
Rather live upon the light Of one kind smile
lost.
But after the VOWS have been spoken,
the knot has been tied, the chain has been
forged, the sacrament has been tasted, 1t
does not take the good brother long to assert
his rights, as held under the law. 1t is not
great while before he procIaims himself
lord and master and big mogul. 1t is hardly
the common year-and-a-day before he pro-
mulgates the decree that his wishesare to be
held paramount, that his whims are to be
law and gospel-that he is to be the su-
preme ruler OF the roost and the monarch
within the walls OF the home of the family.
In this assumption he is upheld by the law.
II matters nothing that he should chance to
be the wrecker OF the family peace, the iam-
ily fortunes, that he is the breaker of his
wife's heart, and the bugbear OF his chill
dren's dreams, he is the head Of the house
under the law and entitled to have his own
way suffer who will.
AFTER THE HONEYMOON.
Girls as a rule think nothing of this
Loving and beloved, they unsel6shly trust
to their ideals of chivalrous manhood only
to Be rudely awakened from their dreams OF
felicity by the sad and stern realities OF
life. Men who heiore marriage would have
resented wrinkle in a roseleaf as 1t at