Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1889-07-09
SCRAPS"

more candy, FIOS5le; IL VIII lnJure
your teeth.
Fiossie-How long will it he be-
fore | can take my teeth out like
grandma does?
"I've discharged the new girl,
George"
"You didn't give her very
lengthy trial"
mo; she lied to me. / don't be-
lieve she ever worked in the Garter
family at all. She didn't know a
word about the scandal"
"Cut off those coupons at once"
ordered the pious millionaire, in the
voice of tragedy king. "They
have been drawing interest on the
Lords day and the Holy Book
orders that all sinners shall be cut
Off and sent to the place of evil
spirits. Therefore cut them off at
once, say, and send them down to
Jay Gould's TO be cashed."
The female child came into the
room looking very blue. She sat
around awhile and got up and went
out and came back again At last
she went up to her mother.
mamma"
HWhat'S the nattprrN
81 guess, mamma, I'll get mar
ried."
"What! Why do YOU want to get
married?n
"There's so many girls around.
Buyer (contidentially)-Say, boy,
are you sure this horse won't scare
at II locomotive?
Stable Boy-Scare? Not much!
Why, sir, three different men have
been killed because that there horse
bclked right i'm the middle of the
track just to enjoy seein' the bull
Jine comm.
Mrs. Fangle Well, this is
strange!
Mr.. Fangle--What is, dear?
A man in Paris has taught an
ape to black his shoes.
Oh, there's nothing remarkable
about that, my dear. I've often
heard of monkey shines
To discontinue your advertise
ment is like taking in your sign. If
you want TO do business you must
let the people know it: Standing
advertisements, when changed fire.
quently, are better and cheaper than
reading notices. They look more
substantial and business like and in
spire confidence. | would as soon
think of doing business without
clerks as without advertising.
Wanamakcr.
One of the wagon road bills passed
by the last legislature was that
making an appropriation of $4,000
for wagon road through Clatsop
county, connecting with the Column
bia and Washington county roads.
The survey of this road was COM
plcted last week, the viewers report
"A good route and the work will be
begun at once. The appropriation
by the state has stimulated the
counties In which IL will be eXpend-
ed to improve the old which will be
connected by this new one.
He persisted in keeping the ear
window open To the disgust aud in-
dignation of all who We're with him,
for the dust and smoke blew in in
clouds Several mild remOnstran-
ces were made, but he insisted
that he had paid his fare and he
would do as he pleased. Finally
retribution overlook him. \ einder
about the size of cord of wood he
came embedded in his eye, and he
danced all over the ear. aud howled
in such an enthusiastic way that the
passengers cheored vociierously.
Fortunately the cinder could not tie
removed. and the man had Ia suffer
the most intense agony for twenty
miles, when surgeon relieved him,
once upon time young gentle
man began Ia tlatter himself that he
had arrived at mau's estate, and de-
tennined tVcall on acergain wcll.,o-
do farmers buNom daughter with
intent The uli geu.
tleman Was a stucG dis''ipl,narmu,
aud verl systematic IA hls Nay &C
dicllng his boys aud girl>, Al sup
lor. amer lcnglhy gNpo, tbs O.d
man anlss, took "a the syrup jus,
and passing arnund e. each 90 his
ehildwu's plate pound nu, wha' Ac
,sHsi,lerel hbcrs slluNaa,'c 20
rSrlp, hlrlud,ns tho vi,Ilns NoH.,g
mans plate 'fnr Nuuns tHan lrit
. Nn amer supprr, and although n''w
nearly Forty yeats uid, n'niuins
sinsle, The syrup jug knOsked ont
h's aspirations Ia that dir'ciion,