Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-23
PAINF FUL.

sI cannot look back over the path have trodden without giving me pain," as the man said who had two boils on his neck.-Dans- vile Breeze.
 ie age!" Papa-fWith a woman it IS about 35 years-no chance is too desperate. "- Terre Haute Express.
 "Poor little boy" she said sympathstically to the one armed urchin, ''did you lose your little arm?" ''No'm," he replied tearfully, ''I picked it up after the smashup and dad he had it buried. ."-Time.
 A physician says that more wrinkles come from laughing than from worrying they see mans hat blow off and so whirling down the estreet.-Norristown Herald.
 Freddy-sI certainly would not have done it, assure you, if you hadn't encouraged me by puckering up your lips" Nell-"I was just g going ito whistle" Freddy-"For help?' NeII-''No-for l-luck."-Time.
 Fair passenger (to her travelling eompan- ion)-'tDo you knew, MT. Sampson, that I feel very nervous?" MT. Sampson-"What
 makes you feel that ways Do you antici-
 pate danger." Fair passenger (shyly)-"No, don't anticipate any danger, bat we are sps preaching nel."-Epoch.
 have received the following complaint: ''In the poem which sent you the proof reader made me say 'hungering regret, where as I wrote lingering regret.'" That's all right. The proof reader understands that a poet is good deal more apt to hunger than he is to inger.-Chicago Times.
 A Brilliant Outlook for Edwin.-Poo1 Suitor (to rich belle who has accepted him.
 ''I cannot give you diamonds, darling. l am poor" Rich Belle-"oh, never mind, you can give me an occasional ruby or sap phire now and then."-Harpers Bazaar.
 Hiram Hay of Hayville recently made a trip to the Pacific Coast. In describing his experiences, he said: t'The only thing that disappointed me was the way my old watch cut up. All the way out it kept gainin' time and all the way back it kept a losin'. Wonderful, wasn't it!'-Jswellers' Weekly.
 observed MT. Billus, lighting his pipe, 'tis unreasonable. God made tobacco" ''He made certain animal, too, ," said Mrs. Billus sharply, opening the doors and raising the
 windows, land afterward, according to
 Moses, pronounced it unclean, MT. Billus. ."- Chicago Tribune.
 Customer-'Ssy, this rife you sold me
 yesterday is no good" Dealer-'What is the matter with it?' Customer-''It shoots
 too accurately" Dealer-"Why, isn't that
 what you wantp Customer-''I guess not. Pm the proprietor of shooting gallery, and give prizes to those who score the highest number of points. ."-Yankee Blade. Poor shooting.-As we were returning to our office from the Widow Smiths the other evening (we have been sparkling the widow for several weeks past), and just as we came opposite the old Indian fort some person whose manners certainly need polishing up | fired four bullets at us from revolver. The intent, no doubt, was to kill us. It took uf about the millionth part of a second to real 1 ize this fact, and then we opened out for ( run and made good our escape. We donN claim to be great shakes on shooting, but ii we can't hit the editor and proprietor of { | great and growing weekly at distance o twenty feet once In four shots we will leav' ! Arizona We don't claim to be Chester field, but if our manners permitted us to hid | away behind an old wall and begin popping at a gentleman without warning we'd expec
 to be mentioned in the same line with | hyena.-Arizona Kicker, in Detroit FresPress