The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1889-12-12
FOLLY AS 1T FLIES.

A WHISKY deil-the imp of the
bottle.
SoNa of the syndicates - Gobble,
gobble, gobble.
A HowL1NG swell-The boil on
small boys neck.
IHE son who goes to work in a mill
represents the flour of the family.
The man who is hard of hearing is
apt to be troubled with "hey!" fever.
LIKE many a young man, nature be-
gius her fall by painting things red.
.WINKs-I didn't see you at camp
/ meeting this year. Miaks--No; I've
reformed.
A MAN discovers that gas isn't equal
TO coal when he tries il on coal dealer
to secure credit.
TEMPERANCE Orator-What is it, my
hearers that drives men to drink?
Voice from the back seat--Salt mack
erel. ....
A MAN who was compelled 10 sue an
/ Did comrade to recover what he owed
him, called him his pseudo friend.
| Sued ?-sued- owe? - ah, yes, we
| catch on.
"Now AN a highwayman, remarked
the com mercial traveller to the ferry
man who was taking him over the river
in skiff. "Why?" Because am a
rowed agent"
MARIA-It's no use my trying to
please you with my cooking; you are
never satisfied. John-You could suit
me exactly if you'd only try. "How?"
"By hiring a cook"
"PA. what's the difference tween q
cutter and filter the signs tell about ?"
"Same thing, my son. My BARRIERS
such be astly cutter that he's filter to
adorn q slaughter house.
CHARLIE (who has been blowing the
cornet for an hour: @Say, Ned, do you
think there is any music in me?" Ned:
II don't know. There onght to be; !
didn't hear any come out"
SHE - What q beautiful world it
would be if it were summer and day
light all the time! He-Daylight all
the time! HIN! When would lovers
have chance to do their courting?
ToMpKINs-Heardy you left the board
ing house, Jack. Jack--Yes; the land
lady was far too modest for me. Tomp-
kins--M -Modest-how's that? Jack-O,
she insisted that we eat dressed beef at
every meal.
Mr.. GooDcATcH calling on the oldest
sister)-Why, Johnny, how you are
growing! You'll be man beforeyour
sister ifyou keep on. johnny You bet
will. Sisterll never be man if she
keeps on being 20 like she has for the
last five years.
Two IRISH servant-girls were quar-
reling the other day. "Shure," said
the one, ."an' didn't Oh hear yer mash
ther comm in afther half-rasht ay
the noight!" can sure" retorted the
other, IAN didn't Oh hear yer mash!hes.
not comm home at all lasht noighS?"
FITzBooDLE-Now that you consent
to be mine. darling, LEI US be married
soon. Belinda-Oh, no, dear, let us
wait two years at least Fiszboodle-
Two years! Oh You don't mean it'll
Belinda Yes, indeed, do. Please
please, let me think you perfect az long
as possible.
| BINGLEY: @Have you heard that
: Pushley is giving away a box of cigars
with every suit of clothes? thought
I suit yesterday u-eisnr4n ~ -tffruvcrrft:
fighting up): "Thanks. I should think
puff, Bingley,f that you would be
glad (puff) that you only puff buy
two suits year"
V1slToR-The boys do be tellin me
that Dinnis is sick abed. Is he any
better, dunno? Lady of house-I
can't say just yit. Yez see he thried to
treighten me by hidin' under my bed
protendin' to be a burglar, an he's lyin'
up stairs wild broken leg ant doc
tors tryin' to take four bullets out o,
his body. But how was I to know him
in the dark?
The OLD MANS OUTING.