Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1889-06-29
HUMOROUS AND BRIGHT.


CHARGED with elcctricity-The sub
scribers to the Bell telephone.
DENTISTS make more money on
draw games than anybody we know
Of.
IT is the experience of all conductors
that strange things come to pass on
railroads.
The original Jacobs. Brown is o
collector, isn't hep" Yes. He is tho
original dun Brown"
SIZE hit the nail fearful whack-
l Iaeant TO say, she tried
She bathed her thumb with arnica,
And then sat down and cried.
PARTIAL payments seem hard enorm',
to the schoolboy, but ho finds them
harder still when he c-u"~ ~.
RUSSIAN fashion noue: "The Gar has
returned to ST. Petersburg and changed
his winter suit of boiler iron for light
spring suit of cast steel.
TEACHER-You should take q lesson
from your sisters, you naughty boy.
Girls don't fight. Little Johnnie-They
does when they gets as old as ma.
JUDGE-At first you stole $50, and
afterwards $40 Are you never going to
do better? Criminal Why, your
Honor, 1 did better that time by $40.
Il LIKE Italian music" II don't.
Every Dago with hand-organ grinds
it on the streets" well, don't that
make it fine music Chicago Ledger.
A SCIENTIST tells us that the world
is gradually wearing out-that it is
being used up by mankind. 1t il fact
that great many writer's and roliti-
clans are making the world tired.
RUsKIN says that in this world "the
men who look for the straight will see
tho straight" A roker-playcr would
give anything to discover that Mr..
Ruskin knew what he was talking
about.
Mrs. N. PEcE-So you thought I was
an angel once, did you? Mr. N. Peck
Yep. Mrs. n. Peck-Ard YOU don't
think so now, Ell? Mr.. N Peck Nope.
still live in hopes that you may be,
though.
"MY dear madam, you are perfectly
charming tonight" 30, You are fat
terer; don't believe YOU" Il assure
you l am speaking the truth. Why,
when [ first saw you, positively / did
not recognize you"
SHE-Do you love music? 7 am
passionately fond of it, He Gust intro
duced)-I knew YOU were | watched
you the other night at the opera, and
the way Your jaws kept time to the
music was t. Sho-Slr!
IT will take three weeks 10 count the
5000, 100000 in the subTea ,ury at
New York City. This is one of the dis
advantages of having lots of money.
We couldn't afford to devote three
weeks to counting our wealth.
"WE don't have dinner in the middle
of the day at our boarding house any
more" you have lunch, | suppose?'
mo; luncheon" well, that's the
same thing" "Oh, no, it isn't Lunch
is a light dinner, and luncheon is a
light lunch"
CHUMLEY--I say Barker, thought
you said this watch was waterproof.
Here the works are ruined the first
time | got wet. Barker-Mv dear boy,
l had that watch in soak" for six
months before l sold it TO you and it
didn't hurt it bit.
SALESMAN lin clothing store)-The
gentleman who ordered the check suit
this morning has sent it back. Propri-
ctor What's the matter? Salesman
Says he doesn't know the house and
prefers not to take SO large q check
unless it is certified
WHAT is so rare as n day in june"
suddenly inquired young Mr.. Jobblcs
at the dinner table. 1T can't b. this
steak" muttered Wobbles, wi Ii low
toned sarcasm. perhaps it is payday
with some people," said the iandlady,
returning the startled look of Wobbles
with stony glare.
LET me extend my sympathy, Mrs.
James, in the loss of your little girl /"
"Thank you Mrs. Williams, it was a
severe blow to me, and then, TO make
my burden all the heavier, POOR Fido
contracted the same disease and died
two days later. But we all have our
griefs, you know"
IHE opinion Is expressed by Yam
kee editor that If one of his political
opponents were placed upon trial for
murder, an article recently printed by
him might be cited to establish his in
sanity, and would be deemed quite
sufficient Inv any twplvn ir,rvmnn not