Omaha daily bee., 1889-07-07
COT The LAUGH ON JEFFREYS
This Witness Was Too Sharp For
the Old Bailey Advocate.
YARNS AeouLNoreo LAWYERS.
How Sergeant Davy Met His Match
The Keen Retoft or"Mr. Copper
nose"-Lofd Erskine and
Windbam's Legs.
Banter Behind the Bar.

says: Jeffreys, the afterward notorious
chief justice and chancellor, was once
retained on trial in tho course OF
which he had to cross-examine n sturdy
countryman clad in the usual habili-
ments OF laborer, and, finding the evil
dence telling against his client, he
| endeavored to disconcert the witness by
exclaiming in his own bluff manner:
"You fellow in the leathern doublet,
what have you been paid for swearing?"
This, however, did not answer his
purpose, for the man looked him straight
in the face and replied
"Truly, sir, If you have no more for
lying than 1 have for swearing you
might wear a leathern donb.et as we'll
as |"
In another case he was matched by
an equally smart witness. Cross-exam-
ining gentleman who frequently used
the terms lessor, lessee, assignor and
assignee, he was led to exclaim:
"There, you have been with your
| assignor and assignee, lessor and lessee.
Do you know what lessor or lessee
is? I,question if you do, with all your
formal evidence"
"Yes, but do" replied the witness.
land will give you an instance. If
you .1od to me you are the nodder. and
| If l nod to you you are the noddee."
This would probably satisfy the coun-
sci that the man knew what he was
talking about.
On one occasion Dunning met with a
singing retort. Having dealings with
gentleman whose nose was of some-
what peculiar type, he said to him:
Now, Mr.. Coppernose, you have been
sworn, what do you sayY"
"Why, upon my OATH" replied the
witness, Il would not exchange my
copper nose for your brazen face"
We are not informed what inflence, il
any. this evidence had upon the Judge.
veracity of the woman IN the following
case, assuming that the cross-examina-
tion be correctly reported:
| WAS he u tall manY' he asked.
Not very tall. your honor; much
about the size of your worship's honor" F"
replied the witness.
WAS he good looking?"
"Quite contrary; much like your
honor, but with a handsomer nose."
did he squint?"
IA little, your worship; but not SO
much as your honor by good deal.
This, we presume, is one of those
cases in which comparisons would prove
| odious.
Sergeant Davy was once questioning
gentleman who had appeared at the
| Court of Kings Bench to give bail in
the sum of $4,000, and, wishing to dis
play his wit, he asked him in a stern
manner:
"And pray, sir, how do you make out
that you are worth 3,00OT'
The gentleman thereupon furnished
him with particulars of his property up
| to e2,940, upon which the sergeant re-
marked:
"That's all very good; but you want
ego more to be worth s3.OOO.-'
For that sum-" replied the gentle
man, in no way disconnected, 81 have a
note of hand of one Mr.. Sergeant
Davy, and I hope he will have the hon
esty soon to settle it,"
Upon this, Lord Mansfield observed,
in his usual polite manner:
well, Brother Davy, think we
| may accept the bail"
Lord Kenyon, when trying case
| respecting the non -fulfllment Of con-
I tract on a large scale for shoes, the
principal question in which was
whether the shoes were we'll and
| soundly made with the best materials" !"
| asked a witness, pointing to his own
| shoes: "Were the shoes anything like
these?" mo, my lord" was the reply,
"they were, good deal better and
more genteeler."
Garrow, in cross-examining witness
in the Court of King bench, asked him
| if he were not a fortune-teller.
| can tell yours"
"What is that to be?" inquired Gar
row.
why, sir, as you made your first
| speech at the Old Bailey, so you will
make your last there"
| Another lawyer, questioning a wit
ness respecting the whereabouts OF a
ship AT a particular time, and being in
formed that she was then in quaran-
tine, displayed his geographical knowl-
edge by inquiring, And, pray sir,
where is quarantine?'
| On one occasion Sergeant Whitaker
was conducting an examination at the
bar of the house of lords, when he put
question to the witness which gave
rise to some objections, and debate of
two hours ensued as to the propriety OF
the same. At the end OF that time
Whitaker was re-admitted, and was de-
sired to put the question over again,
but he merely replied: Upon my
| WOru, my lOrus, IL ID 30 ionR siuce HrSJ
| put the question that / entirely forget
1t; but with your leave, I'll now put an :
other"
The passes between bench and bar
are also plentiful, and equally amusing.
| A story is told of Sir Fletcher North to
the effect that, in addressing u court on
some question Of manorial rights, he
happened to say: G
| "My lord, can instance the point in
my own person. Now, my lord, l have
myself two little nanors."
| Here Lord Fletcher interposed with
one OF his blandest smiles: "We are
we'll aware of that, Sir Fletcher"
This same Judge prided himself on
his power of discovering very early in
case its true bearings, and was in the
habit OF taking up O book or newspaper
before the counsel had completed their
arguments. One on occasion, when
he did this, Dunning, who was address
ing the court. paused In his argument;
upon which Lord Mansfield said, with
out raising his eyes from his book:
pray go on, Mr.. Dunaing, pray go
on"
To this the ad dvocate replied in sar-
castle manner:
~ wait your lordship's pleasure. !