The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-12-08
BRIGHT BITS

OLD DR.. Gray was at the dance
When Ethel said. with merry glance,
Doctor. don't you dance tbs lanciers."
| NO, my dear, lance the dancers"
| Journal Of Education.
Il SAW A curious freak of neture yesterday. -
"a Philadelphia man with insomnia. "-Ner
| York EUeniR0 Sun.
| Az EXCHANGE tells show to make a fountain
pen work satisfactorily" Another way is TO
give 1t to one of your enemies and use COM
mon steel pen. --Norristoion Herald.
TEE Coon Fa1ESD.-'so. good-by, dear old
fellow, and If ever you want $50 come to rue
| and Wen go together and find some one who
will lend it TO Ftegends Batter.
sac between the acts)-where are you
| going;
He-Out to see q man for a moment.
Shells he going to buy it, or are you!-Phitd-
delphid Inquirer.
GuEsr-Waiter. bring me a cup of coffee.
Waiter-How will you have it, sir. weak or
strong!
Guest-Id like it weak, but not week after
next. Hurry 1t up.-TeTds Sifttn9s.
STATION MAsrER-Coms. come. my good man
You mustn't walk on the track.
Tramp (disgustedy)-Th conductor says 1
your blamed old road here for, anyway?-Lotc-
eH o'''ae"' Y 4
You THIEKthere never was another baby
like yours don't you! said the cynicE old doc
the young mother, reproachfully. Il don't
tn ii SO; = KNOW tiaars never was -zSammser-
7 Sstc',;ss.sz.ssssS. s.,ssF.ya,e4-rr.
A SUIT FOR FALSE PRETENsEs MAY RESULT
FIRST Jeweier-Are you the party that adver-
Transaction
Second Jeweler-Yes I'll sell you my old safe
for that amount.-Jereiers Weekly.
CHARLES Gn love)-But you should see her
eyes when she is angry. They flash like light
John (been there)-Yes or when she's looking
Tor new beau. Then she keeps EN- peeled
IKE thunder BilghGnIton Republican.
AMAN who was deeply in debt was sick unto
death. -. -
All, he sighed. eff 1could only live until
had paid Off my debts -.
"hunPhr sneered the doctor bluntly, you
want to live forever, do you?''-Teras Strings.
WoMNN-Here. take this coat.
tramp know it's going to be a hard winter
put style or nothing is my motto. Fashion de-
crees that single breasted listers shall be worn
ana you VIII notice, madam, that this coat has
two rows of buttons. Icannot take it.-Boston
Herald.
ATToRNEY-And now, Mr.. McCarty, we will
ing.
Contractor McCarty-It was bad, very bad,
sor. 1t couldn't have been a worse Job your
Amer, II 1T had been paid for in advance.-Terre
Hdute Cypress.
The Hartford Courdnt lays it down as a gen
eral rule that the carver of the turkey always
gets the best pieces, while those for whom he
carves get just what they don't want Such a
person may be called a carver down in Con-
nectcut. In other sections he is usually called
hog.-Boston Herald.
HIS WIsH-"Is there anything you wish for
dear?' said the young wife fondly to her hus
PIANO oand a. at the breakfast table on the morning
Yes; | wish somebody would give me $40 for
that $1,000 check your father put among the
wedding presents ~ Yankee Blade.
COMMON SENSE WANTED.-The railroad which
Will adopt the idea of using weights on the win
dow sashss of the cars, so that thew NAV RIM
up and down freely, as in our dwellings, NAV
never pay a dividend.to stockholders, but every
passenger will advertise the line from Maine to
IeT%s as exhibiting common sense.-Detroit
free Press.
A NUMBER of years ago, when Charles O'Conor
was the leading counsel in a suit involving half
million, a party. form the other side called
upon him and offered him $40 to withdraw from
the case. Mr.. O'Conor was SO paralyzed by the
mans effrontery that he could not speak for a
minute, during which time the villain escaped
Detroit Free Press
HER MATrER-oF-FAcr OLD FArHER.-Daugh-
ter, do wish you would learn to talk without
using so many exclamatores. Everything you
speak OF is accompanied with" Oi'' THE ideaP'
OlSaO soounesS! OF soinetulng OF Inat Klnu.
Why! Goodness gracious, pa How can
helpit? The ideal We girls all talk that way ="
Kentucky State Journal.
New TO HIM. MRS. Jealous you have a
suffrage leaflet, sir?
Visitor from the Interior-A which?
Mrs. Zeaious--A suffrage leafiet. in favor of
woman's suffrage, you know.
Visitor-WalL now, swami S'manthys allus
tried ter make me think that wimmen suffered
'nough a'ready.-Detroit Free Press.
BoLLINGsBY-Who was that flne-looking man
you brushed against so unceremoniously in
entering?
building.
Bollingsby-And that little weazened-up
wretch you took off your hat tor
Widdener-S-shl That was the janitor!-
Frank Leslies Illustrated Newspaper.