The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1889-02-07
ne don't use pins now pins are shoddy."
And she laughed again, and everybody

| ne don't use pins now; pins are shoddy."
And she laughed again, and everybody
laughed.
"What do you screw the napkin on
to 2" said I, "and where is the screw dri.
yer p"
Then she showed me how to fix it, and
I got ready for business. I told her that
nobody used napkins at my house except
the children. Sometimes we had to pin
towels under their chins, especially when
they had bread and molasses. But / got
along pretty we'll after that, for I was
sitting next to the hostess, and she helped
me out whenever she saw that I was EN-.
barrassed. The ice cream was served on
pealed oranges cut in half, and I didn't
know whether to bite it out, or suck it
ont, or take spoon and spoon it out,
until she showed me. I never used but.
one Of. the forks, nor did | find
out what the others were for, un-
less it was to let us know that she
had them. Society is mighty big thing
in this sublunary world, and the poor
folks conlden't get along without it. It
lis q great distributor of surplus money.
Some poor fellow got patent on those
screws and is making money out OF socie.
ty. When swell dance comes on the
tailors and milliners get plenty to do, for
the ladies have got to keep up with the
latest thing from New York or Paris,
aud tue men have got to have swallow
tail; coats and three dollar gloves and
slipper shoes, and all sorts Of favors. I
don't know what favors are, but I read
about them in the papers, and reckon
they cost money. And the livery stables
thrive too, for dancing folks can't walk,
you know. So it is all right for rich folks
to swell. It scatters their money, and
so far as I'm conc erned they may keep
on swelling untilthey burst. But I don't
want our hard run folks to turn fool and
try to swell too. If they can't get into
society without swelling let them stay out.
Silverware and diamonds ;and napkin
screws and coats with 3 shallow fork in
the tail are all very nice, but we common
folks can't. afford them; and ifthat let's
US out ne will stay out. have known
society men to spend all their salary. on
clothes and theaters. Now swallow
fork is quite becoming to some folks.
All the colored walters in the New York
hotels wear them, and 80 do the. negro
minstrels who tramp over the country. I
used to mark my hogs with a swallow
fork: in the left ear. 1t seems to be q
popular thing but have known some
pretty good people who never wore q
swallow fork coat. Stanley, the great ex.'
plorer, was invited to a swell dinner in
New York and was told that he must
wear regulation suit. he sold he
didn't have one. His friend said that he
must get one. "Ishall not do It," said
be. s"These clothes fit me and suit me.
I never wore them in the presence Of
Queen Victoria and she made no com.
plant, and I shall not truckle to the
snobbishness of New York society,".
am not society man." Hurrah for
Stanley / I am proud that be is q Lou.
isiana boy. do love, independent peo-
ple-those who do not run after society
aud who do not fawn in the presence Of
the millionaires. Isaw genuine society
dude the other day. It was pointed ont
to me and I was satisfed-satis6ed just
like I was when I saw gander pulling
or man huDg-I never want to see
another. He is not ftten to live nor die.
he is a nonenity and just occupies space
that's all. Some ofthem imagine they
have honor stuck around somewhere and
they talk big about the code duello and
sometimes they raise rumpus in the
newspapers, hire a doctor and run off to
another state to fight, but they always
take along somebody to fix the matter
up just before the fight comes of. Then
they come back and strut around as big
as Watch. They mistake the public
| sentiment. Nobody cares cent whether
| they fight or1not or whether they get
killed OF. not. In fact disgusted and
long.sufering public feel like kicking
them both on that particular region
where all their pretended honorlies. May
the good; Lord preserve us from q food
Of fools.
BILL ARP.