West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1889-10-17
NJ OF THE DAY.

sjars TO matrlmony-The front gate.
Life insurance in some cases is merely
o matter Of policy.
The young man who is in love is con,
spicuous for his courtly manner.
A hero is a man who r~cfrains from eat.
ing things that do not agree with him.
A man is not necessarily mean because
he will jump on a feather bed when it is
down.
Some men are born rich, some achieve
riches and some get into fat government
offices.
Goes without saying-The young man
too bashful to pop the question .-Terd,
Siftings.
These times suit the scissors grinder.
He likes to find things dull Fran
cisco alta.
The stamp-window of any postofice is
n sort of Lick observatory.-ROc6ester
Post Express.
A man is known by the company he
keeps. That's why she prefers to be a
sister TO him.
Men will strike for shorter hours, but
the earth continues to revolve at the same
old speed.-Judge.
Republics were ever ungrateful. We
put our great men on postage stamps, and
then punch their heads.
Because a bald-headed mar doesn't
happen to keep a lock on his head doesn't
signify that there is nothing of value in it.
Cupid is doubtless known rs the God
Of Love in this day because the sentiment
of love has become largely a sentiment
of cupidity.
Queen of Spain-"Good gracious
The baby King has the stomach-ache."
Lord Chamberlain (excitedly)-"Call the
Secretary of the Interior"
THE sunset fingered DER your hair"
Was what her ardent lover said;
But other maidens young and fair
Said, Gracious, but her hair is red
Washington Capital.
Fat Woman-"Oh, amt these mos
quitoes awfull' Thin Woman-''They
never bite me-" Fat Woman-'tOf
course not. They live on blood, not
bones. Once a Week.
Misunderstood d.-Pop-ey Photog,
rapher about to remove the CAPT.
"Look this way, please" Sitter-FNot
much, 1 wouldn't look like that in a
picture for nothin'. Light.
1t is rumored that Queen Victoria
thinks of bestowing the Order of the
Bath on Thomas A. Edison. In order
to make him feel perfectly at home, she
will probably make it an electric BATH
Peck's SIM.
A Chicago bearded woman made s
snug fortune out Of the show business in
about twelve years, and now lives in
comfortable luxury with his handsome
wife and five beautiful children .-Bing-
hantoa Republican.
Pm all broke up" he sadly sighed.
As he returned to town.
"A love AFFAIR." mo" he replied;
"A hammock let me down.
-BdEar.
Boston Man-"well, my boy, how is
real estate in the West, active?" Drum
mer Gust back from Kansas)-"Activel
Well, / should say so. A cyclone car
ried a 160.acre farm forty miles the other
day. It's q little too active for me -
KearHey EnterPrisF.
A naughty little boy one day eluded
punishment by creeping under y table,
where his mother could not reach him.
Shortly after his father came in, and
when told the state Of affairs crawled on
his hands and knees in search Of his son
and heir, when to his establishment, he
was greeted with this inquiry: rs she
after you. too, fatherl'
An Englishman has written q book.
entitled 1.-TWO Thousand Miles ON a
Camel's Back We believe we can beat
that in this country in half the space.
Let some one con out with zone Thou.
sand Miles ON u Fence Rail. There arc
lots Of people who have had the expert
cnce, with tar and feathers thrown in
gratis.-Defroit free Press.