The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-09-03
Mr.. AND MRS sowsgR.
Bowser Goes to the Park fer Quiet Out
ing. but Gets Roughly Handled.

S6WSeI GOeS 20 O1c Y ATA AoH &uACs wv
ing. but Gets Roughly Handled.
'T think wen 20 up to the park to-mor-
row." said Mr.. Bowser the other Saturday
evening as he finished his cigar.
"But won't it be dreadful crowdedr
quried-
There you gol You are always ready to
oppose anything l suggest"
81 am not opposing you, only you know
that the boats are always crowded on Sun
day, and that one is apt to meet with many
lawless characters | have heard you say
that the place was in possession of a mob all
day Sunday"
''Neverl On the contrary ] have always
boosted how orderly it was guarantee
that you can go up there alone and stay all
day and you viii be treated like queen"
"Well, if you think we had best go,
why~-
"Of course do think little trip on
the water will do us all good, and at the
island we will seek some sylvan retreat and
enjoy the beauties of the surroundings.
"And you-you won't get madf"
"Mrs. Bowser, what do you meant"
"If things do not go right you won't scold
and blame everything to meF'
''Have you gone madl When did ever
blame youi If you suspect that you are get
ting softening of the brain, let me know and
pII have medical examination
After dinner next day we made a start. /
think Mr. Bowser started with the firm de
termination to keep his good nature at every
hazard, but something occurred almost i'm
mediately to upset him. The street car was
lamb full and running over, but it stopped
and we wedged our way in.
In the squeeze some one stepped on Mr..
Bowser's corn, some one else knocked his plug
hat off, and a third person was heard to re-
mark that if he weighed ton he would char
ter special car when he wanted to ride
This put Mr. Bowser in trim to say to the
conductor;
Does the manager of this line think we
are lot of hogs that We can be packed in an
old car this wayg"
Don't know, sir"
Then you'd better find out. It's an insult
on decent people, and for one don't propose
to submit to it."
''Thsz rize ole fel'r,n shouted half drunk
en- man from the front of the car.
go in, old bay window" added a second.
Ten to one on old Bowser," yelled q man
from the rear platform.
We finally got down TO the boat 1t was
black with humanity and l didn't want to
60, but Mr.. Bowser elbowed people right and
left and followed. After being crowded,
pushed, damned, squeezed and knocked about
for ten minutes l got chair which a drunk
en- man had Just fallen off, and Mr.. Bowser
found standing room beside me-
"a told You thought the boats would be
crowded, )" remarked as soon as / could get
my breath.
''Weil, that shows all you know about it.
There's no crowd on this boat. She could
carry as many again"
But what rough set Of people,"
mo rougher than we are. You simply
want to find fault and make me uncomfort-
able"
In getting off the boat at the island some
one stepped on my dress skirt and nearly tore
it off, while Mr.. Bowser'S hat was crushed
down over his eyes and some one picked his
cigar case out of his coat tail pocket. We
finally got out of the crowd and wandered
away until we reached shady spot, and then
it did seem as if we might take some COM
fort. began to express my sympathy for
Nh. Bowser, when he turned on me with:
"When l want to be condoled with III let
you know. Thus far we have had real
good time, and l don't want TO hear any
more kicking about it"
'This is the sylvan retreat you spoke of, /
supposef' remarked as looked around and
saw cigar stubs, playing cards, pretzels, beer
bottle corks and rusty old cork screw lying
on the grass.
He didn't say He was going TO, when a
- hot nd
stopped and asked Mr.. Bowser for match to
light their clay pipes. He didn't have any,
and one of them said:
'tWell, yer needn't be so crusty about it.
We are just as good as you are"
"And blamed sight better, Jin," added
the other.
Mr. Bowser jumped up, but both OF them
piled on to him and screamed and brought
assistance They split his coat up the back,
tore his collar OFF and tore three buttons off
his vest, and as they went away they threat
ened to come back and finish him off.
Mr. Bowser," said after the crowd had
started, hadn't We better go hor1el'
No. ma'an, We hadn't ] came up here to
enjoy myself and pm hound to do sou
coaxed and argued. but he was obstinate,
and pretty soon something else happened.
A gang OF five or six men came along, rips
for mischief, and one OF them halted before
Mr. Bowser and inquired:
SHAY, ole fel, lost dollar here about an
hour ago, and you picked it up"
you are mistaken, sir"
Course he didI" put in a second tough,
land he's got to give it ups
~ haven't seen anything of your dollarl"
boldly replied Mr.. Bowser, and the gang was
making threats when ran for help
Before Igot back they had rolled Mr. Bowser
on the grass, taken all his change away, and
sight. Then the policeman who had come
too late advised himi
"Say, old man, you'd better 60 home.
You've had FIVE or six rows within an hour,
and shall have TO run you in if you don't
leave. You are evidently desperate char
actern
Mr. Bowser beckoned 70 me and led the
way TO the boat. On the way down he was
pointed out as Sullivan and Kilrain, and
everybody had gibe at him. At the wharf
he hired hack to take US home, and not one
word would be speak to me all the way up
When we finally got into the house he locked
the door OF the sitting room and sat down
in front Of me and said:
Mrs Bowser, look at metz
"Yes, it's awful ! was afraid It would
turu out this way"
land yet nothing would do bat you must
go"
"Why. didn't want to so one stepi'
Take care! You are to blame for THU
whole businessl have borne and borne, but
the worm has finally turned at last Make
out a list OF what furniture you want to keep