The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1889-10-10
MAIIYS MAKES TROUBLE,
BOT NEa OWNER WAS HAPPY, ron
~ MAS LOSING PLEsA.

mo Desiss eoF Hs0seshead PeAs Resalss In
New 1usen4zan--xas Cue rhae vEaa
Five Times Bussed-Ths Dog Was Az
ways Jolly wisea Needing rhra.sasus.
Another new method fog the re<h,c-
don Of obesity has been disooveDed. a.
all great discoveries are Brought about.
purely BY accfdent. 49,
You see, q was just hke tRlis. ex.
pounded its inventor. My wife and
went TO housekeeping while AGO for
the nrst time and she thought she
couldn't keep house witAOuE souae pets
You know how Il is when your wife
makes up her mind to have anything.
Well. got the pets, cat and dog
At that time was working a rowing
machine night and morning, swinging a
fifteen pound club, and various things of
that kind to keep my flesh down. Well,
the first week after thelog came. it kept
me SO busy effecting reconciliation be-
tween her and the cat. teaching her that
didn't enjoy tearing off down the block
after her every time the door opened.
and curbng her propensity for rearrang-
ing rugs and the little curtains and
sashes my wife hangs around on tables
and chairs, and in bringing things, par
ucularly my wearing apparel, from the
the back yard, where she had a trick of
dragging them, that didn't have time
to use the machine and club at all. At
the end OF the week had whip ON
every floor, and had lost two pounds of
flesh.
After harmony had been established
between Gladys and the cat, peace
seemed to have been declared on her
part with all the feline race. She began
to cultivate gaunt tomcat that came
growing into the yard, but Tom didn't
reciprocate her friendly approaches. He
had known bitter experiences, and his
instincts We're pessimistic and aggressive
He made dive at Gladys, who was all
unprepared for the onslaught. and, Of
course, she got the worst of it. In a lull
IN the proceedings put bullet through
Toms back and finished the fray. In
tended 30 hit the cat In the head, but
with the usual perversity of his kind, he
continued to spring just enough to take
it in the back. He crawled up a tree in
a sickening and writhing way, kicking
out his quivering hind legs, and my wife
began to cry and get white. and say she
knew she was going to faint. begged
4 OF her not to until I could bury my dead,
before the neighbors rushed in, and Just
then the cat gave one last wiggle and
dropped out of the tree. 1 put my wife
4 on the bed with the Ponds extract bottle,
as couldn't find the cologne, and rushed
down to bury the cat under rose bush.
Gladys looked on approvingly, and when
the grave was smoothed over she snuffed
around it in satisfied sort of way,
which intimated that the interment was
all correct and proper.
The next night when l got home that
cal. lay under the rose bush without a
hair on its carcass, and beside it sat
Gladys triumphant, radiant and expect
ant, waiting my commentator. Some
of the dirt from that grave was on the
parlor windows, some In the pan of let
tuce set out on the door step, and lot
more was over the fence in the next
yard Well, licked the dog as usual,
as scientifically and handsomely as /
knew how, rubbed her nose on the cat,
on the spade in the grave, explaining
meantime that wanted the cat left
alone. Then I buried it again, Gladys
capering about the yard, catching the
various fiuttering pendant garments on
the clothes line in her teeth, and swing
ing round and round in great glee until
4 the clothes tore or the pins came out.
The next night when went home my
wife was gone. didn't have to inquire
I knew without. A heavy tiger skin
rug had been dragged into the next
room and turned upside down, with
white silk scarf off the cabinet around
the tigers head. A large fur rug had
been dragged away from the fireplace
and piled up with down pillow and
rug of choice skins from the couch; in
n corner Venitian glass ornament lay in
fragments on the floor, and in the midst
4 of the devastation, in white and gold
chair so decked out with blue ribbons
and plush that neither or any guest
who ever came here had sufficient te-
merity to sit down in it, sat Gladys, ami
mated, expectant and delighted to see
me. went to the window to get
whip and looked out. There lay the cat,
stark, stiff and staring.
1t took me long time to polish that
dog off as she deserved and get tise cat
buried again to my satisfaction, and it
was not quite agreeable, even to me, to
be rubbing the dogs nose in the corpse
in the way she deserved
The next night, when went home, /
found my wife cRyiAg by tiae wash bowl
and holding some wriggihg. sQuixning
thing sewed up In little muslin bag
under water with her fnges. It proved
to be thres Of the four kittens which she
had asked me to Kill, and which had
forgotten. The Lord only knows how
long she had been about Il, for abe sobbed
pat that they wouldn't die and she was
% faint and sick ! went out TO enrich
another rose bush with the last remains
Of the three embryonic cats, when Gladys
came rushing up so delighted about some
thing that / knew she needed her usual
licking. The cat was not entirely disin-
tered; only his two hind feet stuck up