The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1889-01-18
POT-HOUSE POLITICS.
The Character 0F the ThingN Engaged
Exnonndinr Ita NNrlta.


The Character oF the TaaineA Engaged IN
Expounding Its Merits.
As q general thing the bar-room
politician is not attractive personally.
He rarely pays much attention to his
clothing or his general makeup, be-
cause his time Is completely absorbed
with matters OF great political import.
He is kept so busy saving the country
that he has no time or energy to waste
in removing grease spots on his raj
ment or ia manipulating a clothes
brush. The blush on his cheek is not
caused by his glowing with heaven-
born enthusiasm for the just cause Of
the people, nor by the rudy hue Of
robust health, but may safely be at
tribnted to an inferior brand of whisky.
The average pot-house mogul of small
caliber is the victim of many strange
hallucinations. One of his pet delu-
sions is that he is Indispensable. He
harbors an underlined sort OF suspicion
that the continuance of the planetary
system. somehow or other, rests on
him. As for the political party to
which he claims to belong, or rather
which he imagines belongs to him, he
Is perfectly sure that but for his sage
counsel it would fall to pieces and re-
solve itself into chaos. 1t is almost
impossible for the small-bore dema-
gogue to believe that his party could
survive single campaign in case he
should pay the debt of nature-the
only debt, by the way, which he ever
does pay.
Instead of being a modern Atlas with
the whole world on his shoulders, he
himself is burden grievous to be
borne. He wanders around. never al
lowing himself to stray far away from
the saloons, like an evil spirit seeking
rest and finding none, and allowing no.
body else to find any, either. He will
halt gentlemen on the public highways,
and unless they seek safety in flight,
he will infliet on such victims. in a
whisky-laden whisper, whole libraries
of stale political lore and deeayed cam
paign rubbish.
In regard to the actual services he
renders his party there win always be
anhonest difference of opinion. There
is good reason to believe that this pos
tulant for pap does more to cause the
respectable element of his party to go
over to the opposition than all the other
causes put together. The shiewder
politicians and office-seekers perceive
that the unsavory but enthusiastic dem
agogue is in reality dangerous Jonah.
who should be promptly inserted into
the raging main if the ship is to be
saved, and they often do throw him
overheard; but he always bobs serenely
up and swims TO shore, or is picked up
by the rival craft.
i Occasionally the small-bore politician
| gets into power and sticks with the
pertinacity of postage stamp in q
pocket-book on damp day. The tax.
payers discover that they are being
robbed by set of famished cormorants.
Then it is that the man whose property
is being sold for taxes lifts his voice
and rebellious hoof and rails at the
small-bore demagogue. An independ-
ent tidal wave sweeps over the neigh.
borhood, and the small-bore demagogue
ard his friends are left high and dry
when the waters recede.
This style of politician prevails. in &
more or less malignant type, from
Maine to the Rio Grande. and infest:
every political party Teras SJltags