Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1889-02-27
TnpoHY AGAINST PRACrlCk

Whsso Dooh.LsarnSng Was UsGsstvs-
os1s Ihiags ThasA Are III Oaly tsDs For
4setsa.
SIN bunged up considerabls,s lid .
red -headed young man - hs stood at
tuc i5os cr Cortland strce., wsiting for
the ferry, and felt Of the repairs which
had been put around on his face in the
way Of court plaster; I'm busted pretty
ananermously, but ! guess l can hold out
till / strike Jersey"
Been in q fght?" asked asympa-
thetic bystander.
"Naw-I didn't git started 'nough SO
you could call it a fight. I've been
licked though and l amt tryin' tododge
the issue"
what got you into the trouble?'
"Edjercation, sir - readin' when ]
orter been in better business; b1ieyin' o
lot Of blame fool truck JUS 'canse it was
In . book"
How was it,"
"W'y this way: You see I had one o.
these ere gymnazerum books and read
it. Says the book like this, You see
"A man with his waist bigger round
than his chest amt no good physically
That's what the book claimed. He's
li'ble to give ont at the critical moment,
a y the book. And il he's fat, went on
the book, he'sdead u to give out 1t the
critical minute. He's short-windod and
his muscles is fabby, says the book.
He amt no good on earth, o y the book
awful certain, and no man needn't be
'fraid to tackle him. He'sa 'cumbrance
on the world, says the book, and he ort
to train and git down the size Of his
waist aud boom the dermensions Of his
chest fore some small man swats him
and walks on him. This war the
idea the book held, and / took it all In"
Didn't the theory hold good in prac-
tice?"
Il amt been able to see it in that
light yet. I come owe from Jersey this
morning feelin' pretty o. X. My di-
mansions are all right. You can crack
hick'ry-nuts on my chest; I amt short
winded. Nothing iabby bout my mus
cles. I don't give out at the critical
moment, says I. After q while / was
up on Blocker street lookin' in o winder
watchin' q Frenchman cook pancakes on
an iron foot-stool when long comes q
policeman big's q load o hay. He tried
to run on me by tellin' me to move on.
l sized him up. 1t wa a foot further
round his waist than round his chest il
it was an inch. He was fat, too. Con
s%equently, says l to myself, you're
fabby and short-winded, and 'bove all
you'll funk at the critical moment
Then says L: old boss, dry up or III
mob you! He steps up and l sails in
dependin' on the critical moment fol
him to cave"
But he didn't do it?"
"Don't know, you see; / was dead al
the critical moment, SO I couldn't tell
But / have q sneakin', low-down motor
that he didn't. l couldn't swear tx
nothin', but it's my 'pinion that at thu
critical moment he was walkin' arouni
on me and reachin' down and poundin
me with o black club bout the size Of {
bananner. He may have Hunked al
the critical moment, but I'd sooner thinl
that he was dancin' on o blasted foo
about my size durin' sev'ral very critica'
moments. When I come to / put on my
boots which he had pounded off'n me
and went and bought court-plaster by
the roll like wallpaper. l am nov
goin' home to burn up o green-covered
book On physical development, and wher
/ git my arm out of the sling I shall &c
to work again and try to forgit SOM
things that / have read. Good-by."--
Ne1C York Tribune.