Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-03-29
F0LLYS CHEERING VoLLEYs.

DoNr get "short" if you want to get
along.-Boston Tit-Bits.
WHETHER marriage is a failure or not,
the run on the bank continues
Puck.
A DIPLOMAT is one who can receive an
insult without letting everybody know
about it.-Picayal,ae.
Oh, yes, pray, "Give us this day our
daily bread" then go out and look for
the corn on the end of hoe handle
Sam Jones.
MISS LovELoRN-I was always rather
lucky. Miss Caustic-I should say you
were. Gray hair is going to be all the
rake.-Ne,c York San.
JOB achieved we'll deserved reputa-
ton for patience, but Job never had to
wait for Mrs. Job while she put on a
pair OF thirty-two button gloves
Baltimore american.
"LooK at that tramp; his nose is the
color of red flannel" "He's a good
deal like red flannel himself, too"
Flows that?" Both shrink from
washing. y Chicago Ledger.
CUSTOMER Gin book STOREY Have you
Ben-Hur? Saleslady thinking about
something else)-No, but would like
to have been her when she got that new
sealskin coat. Washington Post
YOUNG Author--Miss Willowby, you
arc reading my little serial story in the
Clarion, may 1 ask? Miss Willowby
10, yes. It is quite story, too. Do
you know, Mr.. Quilts, I am awfully
anxious to get to the end Of it?-Ierre
Ha1tte Empress.
Mrs. YoUNGw1rE-O, George, how
utterly heartless, almost wicked, we
have become! Husband--Eh? What?
cts awful to be so neglectful of
Heavens choicest blessings. We haven't
had baby's picture taken for week.
Philadelphia Record.
LINCOLN Joet,naol-So you refuse me,
Miss Trink? Il must; lam accustomed
to riches and refined surroundings and
you are very poor" cts true ! am,
but have future before me. I have
won three prizes as pedestrian" en-
deed? Let me see how fast you can
walk. will you?"
SISTER Kate-Why is it, Charlie, that
you Harvard students will not take part
in the prayers except under compulsion?
Charles Freshlie-Our men are so mod
est, you know. They don't profess to
have much influence with the powers
above.-Bosto11 Transcript
srRANGER-Colonel, I am private
detective and am about to open an Office
in your city, and should like your
Col. Bolivar "a native Kentuckian)-
Wastin' yure time, sab, wastin' it! Thar
are no privates here to detect, sab;
nuthin' less than captains, sab, an
mighty few of them.-Tinae.
ANARCHISTS Wife-Did you blow oop
dotgourt-house oop alreatty tonight?
Great Anarchist Nav; too tired was
to carry dot dynamite bomb. swat
makes you SO dired?" II go to dot
meeting off dose Anarchist conspirators
und I got tired to my death nit dose
long speeches. "-PhizodelpAio Record.
DE CHoRD-You don't mean to say
you went to an amateur concert last
night? De Musio--Yes; couldn't we'll
get out of it. and, besides, the object
was one which I heartily favored.
Benefit of an orphan asylum?" @No;
it was to raise funds to send the prin-
cipal singers to Europe. "-PAiladel-
phia Record.
They were standing in the Providence
depot as the cars moved slowly out,
when distracted man rushed through
the station, fell over his valise, and un-
loaded considerable profanity into space.
who is that man who is swearing SOP"
asked Spicer's friend, and the other re-
sponded, "He's Mr.. Train" Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
Mrs. W1LKEs-That young George
Maxwell is such nice young man. He
always takes his mother to the theater
instead of going with some young girl.
A young man who is good to his mother
will be good to his wife. Mr.. Wilkes
I guess you don't know the reason he
takes his mother. The old lady always
pays for the tickets.-Terre Ha,te Er-
press.
BLoDsoN-Ha, ha! Here's an article
which says that before the close Of the
century We shall see women
running locomotive engines on our rail-
roads. Mrs. Blobson-Well, why not?
don't you think they would make good
ones? Mr.. Blobson-In some respects
perhaps. They would keep good
lookout ahead, anyway. Mrs. Blobson
Why so? Mr.. Blobson-Because