Morning journal and courier., 1889-04-18
JUSTIFIABLE.

Justice-Did you ever take an oath, ,madami
 Witness Gndignantly)-No, sir; I'd slap the mans face who swore in my presence Burlington Free Press.
 "Great heavens! hear that woman shriek. Is her husband pounding her?" asked the lodger, rushing into the hall.
 sfWorse than that" explained 8 lady friend, "she saw 8 ouse."-Chicago Globe.
 A Letter Home-"Dear Father: am we'll, and am studying hard. We have just reach ed Demand in Pol. Econ. The supply is always equal to the demand. Please send me fifty dollars. Your affectionate son, J. Loafer.-HarvardL Lampoon.
 Brother Tom-Why do you let that little cad pay you so much attentiona I told you he was nothing but 8 frippish dude.
 Miss Curlingham-Heavens,T Tom, I thought you said British dukel And I've about half promised to marry himi-Puck.
 "And 80 you will vote for the prohibitory amendmenta" Certainly. consider it the best thing that has been proposed for years. Had dozen votes would cast them in it's favor." "H'm. Let's see; are you druggist or manufacturer of cidera"-Boston Tram script.
 A New Maker.-Dealer-s'He is lovely Louis Quatorze clock and here is one of Louis Quinze.' Mrs. Buckingham-Ro Robinson -"I am familiar with the Quatorze goods, but never heard of Quinze. I presume he is Frenchman, too. I'll take the first one you showed me."-Hsrper's Bazar.
 Mrs. Lugsby-"Old MT. Grumsby, the doc tor, says, is suffering from elephantiasis." Mrs Bagsby-''Caught it at the show, I suppose. Hereafter no boy of mine shall go cinated. You can't tell exactly what the elephant fetch over here in their trunks" -Drake's Magazine.
 Carboy-"Mr. Pipes, believe there is gas prove it?" Pipes-(the plumber)-"Why don't you take match and test the jointss" Carboy Gin alarm)-"But it might explode and blow me up." Pipes (Coolly)-"Well, that, would youa-Drake's Magazine.
 Uncle 'Rastus Cat dinner)-'sLen, you young raskil, take yo' feet offen de corner of de table" Aunt Dinah-"Yes, an decla to goodness eff he yaint eatin' chicken brof frum de end ob de spoon, 'stid ob rum de side. When you grows up, Lem, ebery- body'll take yo' fur low down niggah what nevah had no manners larned to him. ."-Nsw York Sdn.
 "Waiting to see some onea" he asked of a porticoes of the city hall the other day. "Yes." "So'm I. What are you afterF" ''I'm after marriage license and want to see the county clerk" "And I'm after divorce and want to see lawyer" "Say, it's curi- ous coincidence, ain't ita Let's go and take g drink "-Detroit Free Press.
 Willie (regretfullyl-:'Td like just awfully to kiss you, Gracie, but 'spect it wouldn't do. You know your mamma said you musn't never kiss the boys" Gracie-"Yes that's what she said That is, it's about what che said. member just as well. She says to me, says she: 'Gracie, don't let me see you kissin' the boys Mamma has gone over to Mrs. Bilsby's. s."-Chicago Tribune.
 Lawyer-"Are you the brother of John Smith of Nebraska, sira' Smith-'I am, but haven't heard anything from him for years" Lawyer-"Well, he died last month" Smith-'tIndeedl Did he leave anything?" Lawyer-''Yes, he left every thing he had in the world to you" Smith "Thank heaven-how much." Lawyer Flight children and the mortgage on the farm. ."-Burlington Free Press.