The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1889-08-31

POU0eNI SAHA0u%r0Ss
The va tch-maker knows as much
about spring cleaning Is his wife does
Oregon Statesman.
If you charge aswomau with pow
der and paint she is likely to 60 on
mad.-Terre Haute Express.
Pastoral innocence is not all 1t IL
painted. The gentle shepherds have
crooks among them. --Picayune.
Whom the gods love die young"
And the more one sees Of the survivors
the more one appreciates the taste OF
the gods
When q married woman goes out
to look after her rights her husband Ii
usually left at home with his wrongs.
Boston Courier. '
--Love-letters may be all very we'll
in their way. but they ought never to
be written in any kind of ink that 10
meant to last over night -Somerville
Journal.
-Tubbs-sI flatter myself that hon
esty is printed on my face" Grubbs
s.Well-er-yes. perhaps-witb some al
lowance for typographical errors
Burlington Free Press.
Mr.. Blobson-"What idiots thero
are on the newspapers nowadaysF'
Mrs. Blobson-s'Yes, you have been
sitting on that copy of the News lor
the past half-hour."
"A Kansas man paid ten dollars to
the fund to buy old John Browns rife
for the State Historical Association.
and then mortgaged his team to raise
money to pay his taxes. kansas City
Star.
al always look out for No. l." re-
marked selfish fellow, who had just
married widow. Nv ell, you needn't
worry yourself about it any longer"
she replied significantly. mo. will
look out for you hereafter. Washing
ton Critic.
Small boy = Papa, what does
'mouotonous' meanp" Father (wearily)
WYATT till your mother begins to talk
dress with your grandmother. my boy
Then you'll realize the full meaning OF
the word. IN. Y. Journal.
English Count want . wife
with diamond eyes. golden hair. ruby
lips and q silvery voice." American
girl--"And suppose her friends will
find her in pawnshop before the
end Of the honeymoon. Jewellers
Weekly.
Seaside hotel proprietor (anxious-
ly)-"Hasnt the sea serpent been re-
ported to-day YETI" Once boy-''No,
sir; no one hez seen it." ssLooki
There comes sailing party In now.
Rush down to the beach and ask them
If they saw" ''No use, sir; that's
. temperance crowd. "-Philadelphia
Record.
III can't understand, Bobby" said
his father. why you should quarrel so
much with Tommy White. Your
mother tells me you quarrel with him
most OF the time" Il can't help II,
pa" replied Bobby, thoughfully. II
guess must get my disposition from
you and ma"
waiter" Truthful waiter promptly
"Was killed this morning" Particular
boarder (approvingly)-"You did right
to kill It." Truthful waiter Qnquir-
ngly)-"Yes. sirp" Particular boarder
(nrmly) Because It had been ashore
90 long that it had forgot how to swim
and would have drowned II ever IL
went to sea again. "-Burdette.
-Deaoon Skinfint-ssThis ID an aga
Of irreverence. read tonight about
some fellow who has engraved the
Lords Prayer on . ten-dollar gold
piece and wears il on his watch chain
for curiosity. This is all wrong, very
wrong. There are some things too
sacred to be trified with" Carper-
ITO which do you refer, Deacon. the
prayer or the gold pieceP''- Terrs
Haute Express.
--Husband- I read q great
many accounts of women being robbed
by pickpockets on the street Do you
know how to carry your purse 90 a. to
Illustrate thema" Wife-'sYes; Just a.
Ialways have since married you. II
any piclpoclket can be satisfied with
recipe for making spiced pickles and .
faded proof Of the baby's picture
grandma paid for last fall, he's welcome
to it am always prepared for pick
pockets"
The Queen Of Portugal
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