The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-10-01
WON BY A DUMPING.
How Patty Cowslip Became the
Countess Of FleshpOtts.

Patty Cowslip, the only daughter of
the Rev. Peter Cowslip, vicar of Mud
dlesworth-in-the Marsh, was a pretty
girl, She was 20 pretty that she might
have actually aspired, though she had
not a penny in the world, to marrying a
fashionable curate. But though Patty
was p~enniless she was ambitious, and
she had not the slightest idea of marry
ing the most fashionable of curates.
1t is not necessary to describe what
Patty was like. Rather above than
below the ordinary height" as novelists
say, rich chestnut hair with a CLINT of
gold in it, an excellent figure, small ears.
brown eyes with dark eyebrows and
lashes, pearly teeth set in the rosy frame
of a pair of lips arched like Cupid's bow,
a round and dimpled chin, a swanlike
neck-bah! we have all once in our lives
met somebody as charming as Miss Patty
Cowslip; but as a rule the experience
has not been repeated. We must not
forget, though, that Miss Patty's arms
and hands were her strong point; a queen
might have envied them, for they were
absolutely perfect.
Miss Patty Cowslip had had a decent
education; but beyond the annual SUBJ
sidy Of ten pounds sterling a year which
the parish paid her for playing the organ
she had not a penny in the world.
The Rev. Peter CowsIip was as poor as
a rat. With considerable difficulty he
managed to pay his tradesmen at the
years end; but the Rev. Peter dined
every day much better than many mill
ionaires. And why? Was it on account
of the poor clergyman's wicked extrava-
gance2 Not a bit of it; the fact is that
Patty was a splendid cook-a born
genius for the noblest of the arts.
Many modern young ladies, having
purchased a terra Gotta jar and rendered
it hideous with daubs Of paint, compel
their friends to fall down and worship it,
and call it art; other girls torment US
with the piano, violin, banjo, harp, sack
but, psaltery, dulcimer and all kinds of
music; other girls sing. All these peo-
pie work their wicked wills upon us with
impunity. We grin; we say, ooh, thank
you SO much" because we are obliged to
do that; and our poIiteness is treated as
an encore, and then our sufferings re-
commence.
Pretty Patty Cowslip did none of these
dreadful things; but she could cook like
Ude, Francatelli and Soyer rolled into
one. And Pretty Patty went up to town,
entered the Schools Cookery, and came
out as the senior wran3ler Of the year.
1t was Patty first, the rest nowhere.
Monsieur Caramel, the professor of orna-
mental pastry, proposed to her at once;
but Patty refused him, for, as we have
said, she was ambitious. And then Miss
Cowslip issued a neat little advertise
ment, took modest lodgings in a modest
West End street, and began to teach on
her own account.
Lord F1eshpotts was a widowed noble
man. He had three unmarried daugh-
ters-the Ladies Gwendoline, Ermyn-
trude and Ermyngarde Casserole. His
lordship was a great sufferer from indi-
gestion, and he was dying of bad din
ners. No cook ever staid more than a
month in his house; each of his daugh-
tiers ruled the roast for a week, and gen.
orally the particular young lady who
happened to be responsible for the dinner
on any given evening left the room in
tears before the dessert was put upon the
table. If Lord Fleshpotts would only
have dined at his club all might have
been we'll; but he persisted in dining at
home, and the lives of his three daugh-
ters were slow martyrdoms,
1t CHANGED n day that they saw
Miss Cowslip's advertisement in The
st. James Gazette. Lady Gwendoline
pointed 1t out to her sisters. They or
dered the carriage early the next morn
ing, and they were ushered into Miss
Patty's neat little sitting room in Park
street. "We don't want to take lessons,
Miss Cowslip," said Lady Gwendoline.
"We're too stupid" said Lady Ermyn-
garde. Sand it would be no USE" said
Lady Ermyntrude. "But, OIL Miss. Cow
slip, couldn't you come every morning
and give us a few hints, for pa is vast
ing visibly?" cried the eldest girl.
"It's novelty that poor papa requires"
sobbed the second daughter; refreshing
novelty and perpetual change. Those
are his very words, Miss Cowslip, his
cruel, heartless words"
"Has Lord Fleshpotts aver tasted apple
dumplingsf' asked Patty Cowslip, SOL
EMMY.
'It's a dish I never heard Of" ex-
claimed Lady Gwendoline.
'They were a favorite dish with His
Majesty King George the Third" re-
marked Patty, the historian.
"And we've never even heard Of
theml' sighed Lady Ermyntrude.
So it was arranged that Patty vas to
come the next day and teach them how
to make apple dumplings, for which she
was to receive a fee of one guinea; and,
as q personal favor, she wrote them q
charming little menu, in which among
the sweet dishes appeared the item,
"Apple dumplings a la George Trois."
AT 3 o'clock the next day Miss Cowslip
was shown into their ladyships' boudoir.
A clean white cloth, by Patty's direction,
was laid upon the round table in the CEN
ter of the room; -four, water, a dish Of
apples, some brown sugar, some cloves,
a pastry board and a basin were brought
in by Adolphus John, the six foot foot
man, and then each of the Ladies Case