The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1889-09-19
A LITTLE NONSENSE NOW AND THEN
IS RELISHED BY THE MOST OF
MEN-AND WOMEN TOO.


Is RELISHED BY THE MOST OF
MEN-AND WOMEN TOO.
Who LOOsens up the Hide of His Fell
lOw-man and Makes Him Laugh, is
BenefactOr to that Man.
The only thing which beats a good
wife is bad husband
Corn starch lmparts certain stiff
ness of manner which some people
should avoid.
The man who believes in nothing
is as big fool as he who believes in
everything .---E1ehange.
1t is the skirt of lady's ball dress
that costs the corsage doesn't come
high. Boston Courier.
A summer resort phenomenon-the
longer a man stays the shorter he gets.
Hante Express.
The young man who forged his way
to the front is now in the sspen.''-
american Commercial 7raveNey.
The melancholy days have come,
The days of yellow shoes;
The sun does all the Shining" now,
And bootblacks have the blues.
The two ugliest things on earth are
the man who looks like girl, and the
girl who looks like man.-Atehison
Globe.
When you hear young man say
that girl has no heart you may be
pretty sure she has his.---Lazvyenee
(Mass) american.
1t may be desirable to live to a
green old age; but when you have at
tained it please keep away from the
bunco men.-Puck.
An Accomplished Musician.-Mrs.
A.-"Do you play the organ, Mr..
Smith, Smith-'sYes, if the handle
is not broker" "-EboeA.
Explicit Directions Hired
Man.-"How much water do you give
the stock?" Dairy Farmer-"Make
it half-and half .''-Puek.
$50 you had young Beaumash all
the evening. Did you notice his love-
ly eyes," "No, dear, l was too busy
listening to his clothes. "---LJe.
The Proper Recipe.-"Well, Browne,
how do you find yourself?" "Never
lose myself. If did l suppose I'd
advertise. '-Ha,per's Basar.
"Say, ma, a mouse has fallen into
the milk" His mother---"Did you
take it out ?" Boy---No, l have thrown
the cat in. "---BeAtoa 7e1as) Journal
Lady---"I thought l told you l
wanted curried potatoes for dinner. I"
Bridget 1.-THE hostler was busy mum,
and I'm no groom.---ZoaveX Citizen.
Tramp--"I have scarcely rag to
my back, mum can't you help me
out?' Lady---"Certainly, sir here's
the rag bag, help yourself. -Bu4get.
Wife-"Is the moon full tonight ?"
Husband docking out)-"No. From
its shape, though, l should think it
was on a bender" ."-Bost0n Herald
Of Gentle Disposition.-L (to
tramp)-"Poor man! You must have
broken off many dear ties in your past
life." Tramp-"No, marin, I stepped
on 'em tenderly."- "-Eb0fA.
1t is a growing opinion about this
county that there is no elixer equal to
the extract of good fat county treas
ury for infusing vigor into the Warren
county gang.-Lebaaon Patriot.
Cumso-ssIs Mr. Simeral a member
OF your church, Gazzam ?" Gazzam-
eyes Cumso-ssOne Of the pillars,
l suppose ?" Gazzam-"No; one of
the sleepers. ."-Munsey's Weekly.
Something New at the Circus
Jinks-"Been to the circus, Ell? See
anything new? Blinks-"Yes. The
children who laughed at the clowns
were new" ."-Nea0 York Weekly.
Didn't Realize It-Jake-"Flathers
looks like a freak. | wonder why he
dresses SO terribly loud p Alf-"Well
the poor fellow is terribly deaf and l
suppose he doesn't realize it. Light
Genial Host-"Pathrick, me bhoy,
you've had quite enough to dhrink.
Take me advoice when ye get the
street yell see two cabs; take the first
because, begorra, there's only one p
Funny Folks.
Lavina---"There can be no mistake,
then? You are quite sure Sylvia's
young man plays IN the band 7"
Maria -ssIndeed l am! Didn't she,
herself, tell me he was a drummer
from Boston
Omaha papa-sSo you are going to
marry, are you, my son? l presume
the young lady you are about to wed
knows all about housework and look
ing after the wants of a family ?"
Omaha youth---"Well, you just bet she
does. l wish you could see cotton
batting dog she made last week. and