The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1889-05-25
A TRAVELLERS TIPS.
Flo Gives His Ideas and Impression
About Chicago. ! =

Flo Gives His Ideas and Impressions
About Chicago.
It is the French who say nothing can be
Interesting unless it is at least little
wicked.
Shecawgo is q very interesting city. It
was laid out crooked by the Pottawattomies,
who later were laid out straight-sent to
pot, as it were. Thus early did the town
discover its magnificent terminal facili-
ties!" And its crooked paths2 Why, they
have since been made perfectly straight
on the map! ..@
It is evident there was to be considerable
go to Shecawgo. Once it was about gone.
but it started up again as fresh as burnt
out circus-and what new elephants it had
Business men who fail to make 60 of it
elsewhere 60 to Shecawgo, intending to-
succeed from the word go-or bust
The busts keep ten blonde mercantile
agency typewrlters on the go; and when
New York gets it's copy Of crooked assets it
says: Here's another pretty go in She
cawgor'
Still, there are those who, by strict atten-
ton to their own and St. Louis' business,
manage to thrive!
The city fathers predict million inhablt-
ants in two years; in five they expect to
take in Joliet as an additional ward!
And what about Joliet?
Why, Joliet. has an additional ward for
Shecawgos Doodle fathers and has taken in
an installment on the ten year plan!
Shecawgo always dresses well. Its calves
and hogs are known to DO the best dressed
in tho country. Ask Mr.. Armour
Every body in Shecawgo belongs to some
club. The one having the largest member
ship is the famous Ananias. 80.
Strangers desiring to see q match or q
match declared off take Mr.. Yerkes' cable
to the baseball or divorce grounds. But
many have their own grounds for divorce
Shecawgo builds on the rapid transit plan.
The proposed new street is first outlined
by elevated plank sidewalks six feet above
prairie level.
The houses are then run up, the front
doors being on a level with the planking,
the digging of cellars being obviated
When the people have lived on the block
long enough to get the street filed in with
ashes and old shoes they have it finely
paved, arc lights placed and mounted no.
iceman detailed. j..
Behold the new boulevard!
There may be occasionally complaint
about the paving, but as general thing
Shecawgo is paved with good intentions.
Shecawgo has famous river by the
same famous name. 1t is short, but-let's
hurry-by any other name it's offense would
be as rank
There was once storekeeper whose cat
died on his hands. Having no burlalplace,
and bethinking himself of competitor
whom he hated (and would like to have
killed were it not for the Bible and the po-
lice), he resolved to express to him the re-
mains of poor puss.
Shecawgo, with too vast an accumulation
of dead cat in it's river. is to-day legisIatin9
gigantic drainage scheme to provide for
the enlargement to ship size Of the connect
ing canal by the Illinois RIVER AS the
Shecawgo river will by this means be
flushed into the Illinois, which in its turn
flows into the Mississippi just above st.
Louis, it looks as if St. Louis were the par
ty destined to get the dead cat in underlined,
unlimited Quantity.-N. Y World.