Wichita eagle., 1889-09-29
MR.. AND MRS. eowsER.
He Tries to Show His Wife How to Clea
House-What tho Result Was.

|
while finished up AsI wanted to overhaul
things little this month, and as wanted
him out of the way, I said to him the other
evening:
'Being you have been home al summer, I
should think you would want to take little
trip this fall"
"H'm.'' he replied as he looked up from his
paper.
lyon don't look a bit well Mr. Bowser
Your face is haggard, and l believesyou have
lost twenty pounds Of flesh this summer"
This time he didn't say anything as he
looked at me.
If you wanted to go down to New Hamp-
shire and see your relatives" continued, II
could get you ell ready IN one day"
ooh, you could," he replied. Mrs. Bow
ser, see through your little game, and it
won't work You want to get me away so
you can rip and tear and scrub and clean and
wipe and dust and damage and destroy four
ffths of the contents Of this house"
81 want to clean just little. ="
"Wer, go ahead"
But you-you"-
"Oh, yes, it's always me! One would think
you were afraid TO breathe unless give my
consent in writing Have I said word
against uOuScClectuUle,! OOu hHO" 0udo
housekeeping must be done? was wonder
ing the other day when you were going to
| begin"
But last year you raised such fuss"
"Can't remember that / said one single
word. If did it was only in fun"
"And 1 may cleanp
"Not only that, but I'll help"
"But you needn't. You just be patent and
| g. 4
get'-
las said, will help, Mrs. Bowser. It
will be sort Of vacation for me. Don't you
worry about my finding any fault"
1t was with fear and trembling that saw
him put On an old suit OF clothes next morn
ing and heard him say:
''I'll begin on the parior first. It's now
o'clock. We ought to be through with the
whole house in two hours"
'I-Tm afraid we are not SO smart as that.
We must go slow and give the house thor
ough going over"
"Oh, we'll have everything shining like a
new pin before we let up. You boss and I'll
do the work You know, of course, that
there is everything in the planning. Some
folks make whole weeks job of houseclean-
ing simply because they don't know how to
plan Mother and used to clean house in
half an hour, and you know how particular
she is"
After breakfast the cook came in and said
she was ready, and she likewise announced
that the two colored women were in waiting
waiting for what!" asked Mr.. Bowser.
"To help us Clean" replied.
'Send them right home! Five of us to
clean house! Who ever heard of the ikel
Do you want the neighbors to think we have
been shoveling dirt into the house all sum-
mers I'll start those colored women for
home, and don't want any help from the
cook Let her attend to affairs in the
| Kitchen
He went out and Started" the two women
l had had engaged for six weeks, and then
returned with the announcement that he was
ready to start in on the spare bedroom, hav-
ing already taken down the curtains and re-
moved the bedding.
"All right-Tn have it done in five min
utes' he replied, as he spit on his hands.
You clear out and give me room to work.
l think l can give you and ali other women a
pointer on house cleaning"
I went down stairs, and it wasn't over
seven minutes before he called to me:
"All right, Mrs. Bowser--your room is
cleaned! ZONE up ana SLOW me WnaC 70 DO
next"
what have you dones' asked, as found
him seated on the window sill with COM
placent smile on his face.
CLEANED the room. Every picture has
been taken down and busted, the bedstead
wiped off, and have swept the carpet Your
three or four women would have been two
days accomplishing the same task l have
| SLo,, 80, 7 I'll
| Mrs Bowser, it is ali in the planning"
But that bedstead must come down, Mr.
| Bowser.n
What for?"
because the carpet must come up. Every
thing must be moved out of the room and the
! floor cleaned"
| "Well, | should like to know what for!
What's the matter with this room Just as
it iss"
"Dust, Mr.. Bowser. It blows and we can't
help IT, Moths get in now and then If we
don't do our work thoroughly we might as
well let it go entirely. Take the bedstead
down first
''rll take it down, but 1 protest. It's all
bosh hunting out every speck of dust. No
one else does it, Get out Of the way."
He made grab for the springs and lifted
them out. but IN getting them clear of the
rail he fell over backwards and the springs
fell upon him He made use of several Wig
orous ordinations, kicked out in an effort to
derolish them, and as / assisted him to get
up he reared
81 told you that these things ought to be
left alone! The fool vino invented them
never intended they should be raoved!"
Gained him down after a bit and then
asked him TO take down the bedstead. He
grabbed the footboard and gave pull
| Then he grabbed the headboard and gave
wrench.
"Mr Bowser, don't you know how to take
bedstead apart p 1 asked
Don't II" Well, if l don't no one else
does! l was taking beds.eads apart ten years
before you were bornl You always have to
loosen the joints bit Now them
But you don't bear down on the rail You
must lift up at the ends"
Il think l know my business, Mrs Bowser,"
he replied as he worked away.
''But you don't. You are locking the rails
4, instead of looeening them See here
! l pulled at the end Of raIi and unlocked
! it. Mr. Bowser backed off. crossed his hands
on the small Of his back and said:
| Mrs Bowser, that settles it. clearly see
your object We viii have no more house
/ cleaning this fall. see what it would lead
TO- When a wife gets the idea that she
knows more than her husband it is time to
| hoist the danger signal Just drop things
right here. Tha: is. unless you have planned
/ to bring about this very thing 70 force a
| legal separation"
/ he dressed and went OF down town--De-