Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1889-03-13
BATES OF ADvERTISIEQs
TwaIn's Embarrassing Fix.
WHAT HE SUFFERED FOR FORGETTING THE
FACE OF AN DIN FRIrND

| FACE OF AN OLD FRIEND.
Several years ago, while Mark Twain
was collecting retrospective materials for
his Life on the Mississippi" he stopped
one day at Arkansas City. He had years
before known the place as Campbell's
Bend, and naturally had desire to poke
about unattended by persons who would be
likely to break in upon his musings; so,
avoiding the committee that had been an
pointed to receive him, he wandered of
into the woods. He thought nothing of the
distance he was traversing. There was
music among the tree-tops, and flowers,
ron In deep coloring, perfumed the air,
says the Arkonsap Trareler. After
long walk he came to q cabin, aud upon
entering found an old and tangle- bearded
man sitting near the empty fireplace. The
old fellow glanced at Twain, and then,
springing between the visitor and the door.
snatched down gun, cooked it and said
80 I've got yon, have I?"
u don't understand youw Twain
gasped.
"Oh, no, reckon not. Er man never
understands thing when he don't wanter.
Didn't stop your steamboat down yander
below the hend the other day and steal six
sheep that belonged to me, did your"
81 will swear upon the honor of a GENTLE
man that did not. haven't bean Iu this
neighborhood before in twenty years."
'Set down thar" Twain obeyed. The
old man continued: 'It must have been a
opod while reuse scu was here before the
other day. bat ycn got here Just IA tins
ter steal The sheep. an I'm gong to have
ycar skslp. Hear meg"
''i'S dear sir, you ate labcriug under a
frightfui mistake. | never owned a sheep
in my life"
mo, | don't reckon you ever did own
one, an mon that, nobody else amt apt to
own nary one whar you hang out. Yes,
sab. come right here an tuck my sheep,
an ermong them wuz er pet lamb that my
little gran daughter loves bsttsr'D che does
her life, an she amt slep er wink sense for
cryin' about it. Gu, you nesdn's blink,
fuI I'm goin' ter hold you here till my littis
gal comes, and then Pm goin' to blow yo'
head off. 1t won't be long fo' she comes,
eff you've got any pra'rs that you reckon
oughter be said. why, you better say 'em,
that's ALL"
MY dear cir ~
"Dont dear sir me. I've got You, an Pm
goin'ter use you.'
"But how do you know that stole your
sheep?''
"You know how know it. You know
jest ez soon ez you seed me or comm you
showed of, an mon that, you know when
jumped in a canoe an started ter paddle
ter you, wy, you shot at me. You know
that we'll enough"
"Merciful heavens!" Twain exclaimed.
''Yas, sab, var; that's erbout whut low
ed, but the boat pulled away"
A stick snapped ontside. "Great heav-
ensP' Twain thought is the girl coming?
No, it was only a calf. The expression on
The old fellow face grew harder. There
was a cruel twitching about the corners Of
his mouth.
''Oh, don't you fret, she'll be here direct
ly.
"My friend" said Twain, with an ef,rt
to be calm, "if you will go with ms co Ar
kansaw City will prove to you that would
not steal sheep"
II don't want no proof that comes from
that place. You tell lie, an them fsllers
over thar would sw'ar ter it. l see my lit
tie gal comm through yander. Ez / said
jest now, ef you've got any pra'rs yon want
said. Wy, reckon you better say en-
''Wonld you commit murdeI7P
"Would you steal sheep9'
'iSurely not
"Ab, ha, an sholy 1 wouldn't be COM
mittin' murder by KILN sch er feller ez
you air. Don't move now, for ef you do
I'll drap you. Come, quick, now, befo' the
gal comes, tell me eff you know who did
steal them sheep. that is eff you didn't
Il think do" Twain quickly rejoined,
and then, remem beriug the name of a steam.
boat engineer whom he had known before
the war, be added, $50 Billings stole your
sheep
The old fellow looked sharply at him at
him and replied:
Air you shore?"
81 am certain
"Was you on his boat at the time ?''
''ies, and tried to keep him from steal
ing them, but could not."
"Will you help me find him ?"
"Yes.'
"Wall, then, scoot. Quick, before the
gal comes"
" hen Twain reached Arkansaw City he
found the perplexed ard disappointed COM
mittee. He was nervous and depressed.
While be sas standing in the oft1ce of the
hotel some one said {:
''Mr. Clemens, you used TO know 10
Billings. didn't you p
Twain felt m uuessiness era Wing owes
him Yes" he iaplied
'fFhera ne ia
Twain looked aronad and saarFei. Ths
cid fellow who btd held him 10 the caol
came forward, suorted aud then said
Sam, | oughter shot you for not kaoN-
in me, but / reckon I've changed sone
Sheep never had one in my life. Haw,
haw- Come, fellers, here's to Sam an his
erbilisy to still hedge on er truth.