The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1889-08-29
BILL ARP ON COOKING.
THE COOK QUITS AND UNCLE WILL
lam TAKES A HAND.

lam TAKES A HAND.
He Tells All About It and Also Discusses
Other Subjects Of . Domestic Character.
He Unreservedly Expresses His Fondneas
for Better HALF
Boast not thyself Of tomorrow. for thou
knowest not what a day may bring forth.
No, We don't dident NOW last night that
Mrs Angelina Peacock wouldent I've here this
morning. Nobody knew it until there was a
tap at the door and a voice said Mrs. Peacock
ssnt mo to tell you she sick-can't come 10
more for TO cook till her get we'll" David
saith: "Weepfng may endure for . night, but
joy oometh in the morning" That Is 80 az q
general thing, but right smart depends On
whether the cook comes in the morning. No
cook, nc Joy. Mira Arp wasent well nohow.
and 20 Ipersuaded her to be calm and serene,
and let me manage the breakfast; and 90 !
called Carl and Jessie, and we made a regu-
lar frolic Of it, and had the best breakfast We
have had for . month. ur
Mrs.. Angelina Peacock can't compare with
us when we take q notion to cook. She does
her best, but she Is old and rheumaty, and
weighs about $50 pounds, and got fat and
greasy while cooking in old Virginny befo'
de wah. She is not the lovely maiden that
Goldsmith wrote about in the Hermit. When
he said:
Turn, Angelina; ever dear.
My charmer. turn to ZEE
That was another Angelina used to cry
over her and wish that l was Edwin when he
claspesl her to his breast.
TEACHING THE CITY GIRL 70 MILK.
Every member of a family ought to NOW
how to cook. There is no other way of feel
ing independent. Let the cool quit If she
wants to. 1t is no discredit to anybody to
cool. 1t is about as honorable as it is to eat,
and is more scientific Int takes more brains.
A hog can eat, but he can cook. But |
want it understood that I am not q standing
candidate for that business. just want my
family to feel independent, SO that when the
cook quits it is not a case of utter despair.
Our children have never rebelled against these
domestic accomplishments. They can cook
and milk the cow and make up the beds and
make their own clothes, and are always will
ing to do it when there is a necessity.
Isaw Carl milking the other evening, and
a sweet, pretty girl, who was no kin to him,
was standing close by holding the bucket for
him, and it did look so confectionery" as
CODE says, that I wanted a photograph of
the lactean scene. There was a Savannah
girl up here not long ago, and she had never
seen a cow MIXED and Carl had to explain to
her the process, how that one teat was for
sweet milk and one for buttermilk and one
for cream and one for the calf, and the
sweet innocent believed it, every word.
But about this cooking business I Am not
uttering the sentiments Of Mrs. Arp. She Is
constitutionally opposed to getting up early
in the morning. She is willing to cook din
ner and supper, but has no liking for cooking
breakfast nor washing the dishes. She is no
great admirer of King Solomon either, and
sometimes hints that his respect for women
and children was very limited, for he wanted
switches and thresh poles for the boys, and
kept three or four hundred wives to wait on
him, and his definition Of a ~virtuous woman
was, ''She riseth while it is yet night and Civ
eth food to her household" He actually
wanted his wife to get up before day and go
to cooking, while he slept until the bell rang
for breakfast.
She thinks it enough for a mother to nurse
and worry with raising eight or ten children,
and after the crop is laid by she is entitled to
rest, and l think So, too. She shan't cook II
I can help it. She has made a thousand lit
tie garments and worked ten thousand but
ton holes in her life, but, thank the good
Lord, her eye is not dimmed nor her natural
force abated- No; she shan't cook. Our
colored nabor, Mrs. Fletcher, always comes
when she can, but she is raising a crop her.
self and can't make q full hand in our kit
chen.
R ARP A GOO SPEAKER
But variety is the spice of life, and some
how I like for something to happen that
changes the monotony of things and gets p
connection and stimulates our energies. I
tkefo o the cook to quit and the washerwoman
to strike once in q while. I like for the
bucket tx get into the well or a young cyclone
to threaten us. like for my vest buttons to
come of and my under garments to get
ragged SO that Mrs. Arp will be sorry for me
and beg me to buy some new clothes, and I
can say with a sigh, I can't afford it, these
will do me very well; it doesn't matter how l
look. like to work in the garden while the
sun is hot and hear Mrs. Arp calling ms from
the window. "You had better come In the
house; you will make yourself sick again
working in that sun."
l like for her to hear mysterious sounds
away in the night when deep sleep falleth
upon q man but not upon q woman, and when
she punches me in the side with her elbow /
get up and meander bravey all through and
around the house hunting for robbers and
ghosts just to show her what q protector she
has got. She is going to st. simons next
week n | Am going to stay ut home. Some
of her married children are going with her,
and she is to chaperon the chaps or matron-
ize the party, or whatever you call it. Idon,t
know whether she is going to lave in the salt
sea wave or not, but l can see her now stand
ing upon the beach and, with extended arm,
repeating the speech OF her school days:
Roll on. thou deep and dark blue ocean. roll
Ten thousand fleets sweep over thee in vain.
Thou glorious mirror where the Almighty's form
Glasses itself on tempests
Oh, she was q speaker, she was. and she Is q
speaker yet. She speaks to me sometimes.
wish that every aspiring soul could go to
st. Simons, or somewhere, and look upon the
seattle ocean. II a man has a soul how it
expands it! How diminutive he feels in the
presence OF this mighty work OF God, But
hundreds 60 there just like they go to a cir
Gus. They nave no new emotions, no increase
Of reverence and no decrease in Their. own
conceit. Bill Arp in Atlanta Constitution.
A Good Woman.
Mira Felicia Grundy Porter. who died at
Nashville, Tenn, was one of the notable
women OF the south. She was a daughter Of
the late Felix Grundy, Van Buren's attorney
general, and before the war was a leader In
the brilliant society Of the national capital.
In the days Of the war Mrs. Porter busted