Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1889-01-09
A TERRIBLE "WRASTLE."
What Came OF Cap'n Sanders
Struggle with Grammar.

old cronv Cap'n Laban Kent on some
mackerel barrels on the canning-fac-
tory wharf They had been ship cap
tains both, and had seen the world in
their day, and they still had keen in
terest in so much of its fotsam and
letsam as could be picked up from the
factory wharf, but they had VI tually
retired into the realms of philosophy.
An Interchange of mild speculation,
some piquant differences in the mat
ter of recollection (Which might have
threatened their ancient friendship if
Cap'n Laban's acerbity had encount-
cred any thing less modifying than
Cap'n Sanders good-nature), and the
evolving OF simple PHILOSOPHERS from
their experiences served to pass the
long days The mild melancholy of
Renaissance was apt to be favored
with a dry humor, and the philoso-
phles. although somewhat pessim1stic,
especially in rheumatic weather, never
lacked certain grim good cheer.
Altogether Cap'n Sander and Cap'n
Laban enjoyed life to degree which
is perhaps uncommon with philoso-
piers, and when, On a day which
was after their own hearts, with the
sea cheerfully sparkling at their feet
aud the sky serenely smiling overhead,
and with September air to breathe
which tingled. even in old veins, like
W1ne-When on such day as this Cap'n
Sanders face wore a heavy shadow, it
was natural enough that Cap'n Laban,
after making various delicate efforts at
consolation (even going so far as to
admit that Cap'n Sander might be right
as to the date at which the William <.
Peaoey encountered the tidal wave off
the youth American coast), should be
driven to inquire, point blank: What
ails ye, Sander? What in mater ails We
this delightsome day?''
The Office of consider usually fell to
Cap'n Sander, who was of a more ro-
tund habit of body, and, as generally
follows, of a more optimistic habit of
mind, than the other: and having once
begun, Cap'n Laban seemed to find a
satisfaction in turning the tables, and
became righteously severe.
THE rheumatic can't be a-grippin'
ye, certain, with this west wind
a-blowin'; and We hain't heard no bad
news from Caddy. hev ye? l don't cal
c'late but what Caddy can look out for
herself; and there's M'randys temper
a~mellerln'-you said SO yourself only
yesterday; and your bank dividend and
your pension regular as clock-work,
and DO layin' awake nights; and the
four back teeth you've got left bein'
opposite to one 'tother, two and two;
and. l YUM! what you've got to be
doWn-hearted about with such blessin's
as them"
g faint any such things as them
that's a-wearin' On me, Laban-'tain't
any such things as them" repeated
Cap'n Sander, with mournful shak-
ings OF the head I've got a terrible
wrastie ahead of me, Laban: that's
what it is that's took hold of me so-a
terrible .wrastle, and don't know as I
can stand it. most exp+eet shall get
overthrowed-"
'tLaud O. merey!' calculated Cap'n
Laban, leaning forward to survey his
old friend. his faded blue eyes narrow
ed with curiosity. ''You hain't goin'
to have false teeth? nor speak in meet
in? nor have your picture tookP nor
go a-yisitin'?" Cap'n Laban was eyi-
IDENTITY searching his own experiences
for deeds sufficiently desperate to come
under the head Of ''Wrastles."