Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1889-05-18
HE SAN THE YANKEES EAT.

4 Max O'KesI's Descr ption Of Our America
Hotels What and Hiw w. Eat am
Drink m n Ere Q San pm
/ Tho great mass Of the American
i people I've on tough meat uncooket
and iced-watar unf tered.
l take it for granted that sheep ant
cattle are born at as tender an age il
4 America as elsewhere, but the Societ,
/ for the Protection of Animals probabl,
prevents their being killed for foot
while they are young enough to ensoy
life, and so the patriarchs are reserved
for the table.
That which renders the problem o
dining almost past solving is that the
meat has to be attacked with plated
knives which tear, but, do not cut it.
suppose thai, as half the lower class
Americans still eat with their knives
it was necessary to abandon the idea o.
having steel knives TO fear of theil
accidentally gashing their faces. i
! sharp steel knives were in general use
in America the streets would be full Of
people with faces SCARED and scanned
like those of the Heidelberg students.
| The Americans drink little else but
water at table, and one cannot help
wondering how it is that the filter
, seems to be an almost un nown institu-
ton in the lard Leave your glass OF
water untouched on the table and in a
few minutes thick sediment of mud
or sand will be visible at the bottom
of it.
Down South it is still worse.
A t. II r Il =
at table by an extremely obliging
! negro.
One day he brought me some water,
put ice in it, and discreetly withdrew
behind my chair.
took up the glass and infinitely in
spectei is contents.
"Epaminondas cried.
Oats not my name, sab; I'm called
Charles"
Charles. look at this water; there is
snake in it"
Charles took the glass, looked in it,
and then, with reassuring grin, an
nounced:
. Its dead, sab"
'That is comforting" said I, but it
may have left eggs, which will come to
life by thousands inside me-"
Charles was facetious, and was not to
be put out of countenance for such o
trife. He took up the glass again re-
examined it, and replaced it on the
table.
"Dere's no danger, sab; it's male. I"
he SAID.
In almost a ! hotels south of Wash
in9ton the walters are colored men.
The service is but poor. The negroes
are slow-it is the guests who do the
waiting"
At Delmonico's especially, and in the
principal hot Is in New York, Boston,
Philadelphia and Washington you can
dine admirably. In the smaller towns
you must be content with feeding.
But let US take our SEATS OF the table
d'hote of the best hotel in any second
rate town that you please in Pennsyl-
vania, Ohio, Indiana, or some other
State of the Union.
No printed menu. A young woman,
with an elaborate couture of curls, rolls,
and bangs, but no cap, approaches,
darts look of contempt at you, and,
turning her back upon you, gables off
in one breath:
Contemporaries shrimpsauceroas
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS o es to-
ma ia RI m incepieyanilla-
cream"
Do not attempt to stop her; she is
wound up, and when she is started is
bound to go to the end. You must not
hope that she will repeat the menu
second time either. If you did not hear,
SO much the worse for you. Unfortu-
nately the consequences are grave; it is
not one dish that you miss, it is the
whole dinner. You are obliged to order
all your repast at once, and the whole
is brought you from soup to cheese at
one time.
I was SO ill-inspired one day as to
order some soup to begin with. The
waitress refused downright to bring me
anything more.
"That is all you ordered" she said to
me; "you do not suppose I can make
twenty journeys to the kitchen for
YOU"
I rose and sought the hotelkeeper. I
made the hnmblest apologies, pleaded
that l was foreigner who had only
been in America q fortnight and was
not yet accustomed to the habits of the
Americans. promised solemnly never
to transgress again in this way. Mine
host went to the young person vino was
at the head of the battalion Of harpies
in the dining-room and interceded for
me with her. I had the happiness of
being forgiven, and was allowed to ap-
pease my hunger.
From that day forward as soon as
one of these witching damsels began
her incarnation I cried out:
Hold! Enough! Bring it ali in.
Then I would eat the least distaste-
full of the messes and leave the rest. I
can assure you the hotel did not make
much profit out of me.-Mdr ORelps
Jonathan and HIS Continent.