Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1889-12-26
ALIAS THE PARSON.

ALIAS THE PARSON.
f Even in so. SO long ago as that, when
few western towns could boast a street
lamp or a postoffice-to say nothing OF
churches and school houses-Four Hole
City was generally classed as a '.desprit
hard place.
1t was the toughest of the tough.
Though comparatively young town at
the date of the incident about to be re-
corded, its notorious wickedness had adj
vertised it far and wide, and Four Hole
City was an accepted synonym for the
unique and superlative in western
wretchedness.
Its population varied according to the
distance and direction Of the latest gold
find
A clear spring of water had made the
spot a fayorite camping place for miners,
and contraband barrel or two of
whisky had established bar and made
thejspring place ''city."
It could hardly be said that the growth
of Four Hole City was phenomenal-that
it was a magic city or anything of that
sort. But it grew.
Trade was lively at the Red Finger
bar, and the cemetery spread like a
green bay tree. In due course of tune
there was another barroom and another
sburying ground.
Then Little jug Nancy came, the first
woman, and forthwith another grave
yard was added to the list-three of
them in seven months.
So alluring was the opportunity, in
fact, that speculative undertaken was
tempted across the mountains from
Frisco with a wagon load of cofffns.
The market was all right, but it's a
part of esrecord that the Frisco under
taker was the first man ever buried in a
coffin at Four Hole City. Little: Jug
Nancy officiated.
But in spite of all that the town grew.
And as it grew there became manifest,
at irregularly long intervals, a natural
tendency towards something like reform.
At even rarer intervals. this usually
and proportions.
The first effort Of the sort was when
Shoestring Mike and that gang had an
election. Mike set himself up for mayor.
and the rest of the boys we've council.
men. Long Dicky Bass was the marshal.
It was all right while it lasted. They
buried the mayor and the marshal in one
grave and two of the council in another.
Another one of the councilmen reformed.
and was hung six months later for horse
stealing. The others escaped.
Then the law and order fever struck
Four Hole City They hung Jimmy
Doolan, of the Red Finger bar. Little
jug Nancy followed suit, same day, same
limb. Three or four of the opposition
lights snuffed out in amazingly rapid
succession-and then the law and order
gang caved.
This was when the Frisco undertaken
saw his opportunity.
Then Nigger-Foot Jim tried to run it.
This reform was pre-eminently success.
full, it must be acknowledged, SO far as
it went. Jim was dead shot, and as
quick as cat.
His government terminated very alb
ruptly, however, few hours after i,
started, just as Jim stepped out of the
door of the Red Finger bar. 1t was done
who did it.
They made him grave beside Little
jug Nancy, and Four Hole City dropped
back into the old rut. It reIapsed. in
other words.
Then United States man came along
Poor fellow-they were looking for him
They had his grave dug twenty -four
hours in advance of his arrival. They
had his tombstone fixed and the epitaph
and one of those Frisco coffins marked
for his private use.
Those brass buttons-six big ones and
nine little ones-nade elegant chips.
These were by no means the only ef-
forts at reform, nor by any means the
only failures. Suffice it to say that there
had been precisely as many failures as
there were efforts, and exactly as many
efforts as failures, when Parson Josh
came in that bright. breezy, beautiful
day in autumn, 1850.
The parson didn't make any bones
about it. He called out the boys and
told them what to look for
..Ef the Lord don't hinder" said the
parson, .sI'll preach here twice week
an pray the Same. Ef you don't like it.
don't come This yer's business. and
business is business. All invited Smokin'
allowed. but I'll lick the fust man as
laughs in meetin amt er seekin no
fuss. I'm er peaceable man. but busi-
ness is business. I'm yer ter save souls,
an they must be order in meetin All !
want is square deal.
He had come in on horseback, and
| without taking his feet from the stirrups
he pronounced the benediction. nodded
pleasantly to the crowd, and galloped
off in the direction from which he had
come.
Itwas done absolutely before a man
in the crowd could realize It. The idea
preaching in Four Hole Cityi Benedic-
tionl Prayerl
The strangest part Of II all was that
the parson had compelled un unmistak-
able feeling Of respect He had left
them impressed with the idea that he
was z superior somebody, amply able 70