The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-03-06
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

Doing light work-Clcaning the
lamps.
The shirtmaker's favorite exclamation
"A hem.
A clever slight of hand performer
The coquette.
The locomotive lever most always
travels ''incog."
1t is the telegraph operator that has
his work at his fingers ends.
Advice to the dressmaker: "Be sure
you're right then go ahead"
A barber's shears shut up when at
work and so should the barber.
The man with the most accomplish
ments often accomplishcs cs-nothing.
There are sand flies when there is calm
and sand flies when the wind blows.
The most unhappy feature about being
jail bird is said to be its inability to
fly.
A doctor may kill man with the best
of intentions. A murderer kills with the
worst.
When an Indian catches cold on the
warpath he has the war-whoppiBg
cough.
"Waiter, this beefsteak is so tough |
can't cut it." "a sharper knife for the
gentleman.
Patient -"Do you extract teeth with
out painH Dentist-"Yes; its no
pain to me-"
The moths have strange tastes. They
frequently appear in oyercoats in sum-
mer weather -P.ca, URc.
India rubber is being tried as a street
pavement in Germany. 1t ought to give
every pedestrian an elastic step.
Doctor-"I see little Will has fully
recovered" Mother-"Oh, yes, doctor,
little Bill was cured by your big bill"
First Boy-"Is your father fond of
fish," Second Boy-"Yes, guess so.
He has c. o. d. printed on his business
cards"
Some persons complain of Sudden
changes in the weather." but we notice
that 1t gets both warmer and colder by
degrees.
The nuisance of the hotel was in the
parlor warbling "Oh, would | were
bird" "Wcll here's a beginning for
YOU" said the landlord. And he handed
him his bill.-Argosy.
The little girl who wrote on her eN-
animation paper THE interior of Afr ca !
is principally used for purposes Of ex-
ploration" wai wiser than she thought.
baltimore ImericaH.
"Don't you know, Emily, that it is
not proper for you to turn around AMI
look after gentleman" "But, mamma,
! was only looking to see if he was look
ing to see if | was looking. ."-SUtmgs
Mr.. Youngman after long thought
"Is there any way to find out what
woman thinks of you, without Iropos-
ingM Mr.. Ienedict ,absentlyl-"les
make her mad. "-Nco HTt Utckiy
There was once a young man, poor debtor,
Who wrote TO his tallors lebtor,
They wered at once,
Aud called him a donce,
And then the poor fellow felt bebtor.
Washington CJiiic.
II is said that Minneapolis man who
attempted TO commit suicide the othor
day by taking poison was saved by The
active and indefatigable exertions of
four dictionary canvassers. - ChicagJ
Triblm.
Miss De Pert elingly)-'This is,
parhaps, the first refusal you have re-
ceived, Mr.. De Tom!n Mr.. lie Tom
(sarcastically) y)-"And perhaps the first
you have ever given, Miss Mauve. -
I0Ua Iopi~,
Little Bobby-"Don't you want to
take me up to the toboggan slide with
you some day. Mr.. Jinks" Mr.. Jinks-
81 never 60 to any toboggan slide,
Bobby; never even saw a toboggan."
Bobby "a tribe nonplusedl That's
funny | heard pa say something about
your going down hill at furious rate"
LADY ,LARE's GREAT HEAD.
lie does not love me for my birth, nor for my
lands SO iIo Dad and fair,
He does not lc.l me ] am worth more 70 him
than earth and air.
lie does not take me ON his knee and kiss nv
eyes and nose and hair,
His sister / have said ia be- and that Is well.
said Lady Clare.