Morning journal and courier., 1889-05-07
GOOD POINTS.

MT. Frills-"What were you when I mar ried yous Nobody" Mrs. Frills (serenely)- l "Well, that's good point you're nobody's l ool."-Puck.
 Judge (severely-'tI should think you'd be ashamed of yourself, Mcnamara, to be in the court room so often.n Mcnamara (coolIy)- "Begorra! I'm not here any oftener than yer tanner is."-Lowell Citizen. Rufe Reedbird-''M 'Mistah Johnsing, what am de best wash foh de complexion!" Eph- riam Johnsing-"Am you a-fadin', Rufe Reedbird a-bekase if you be, liquid blackin' am what you need. ."-Burlingto Free Press. Miss Culture-"What do you think of Henry Georges single tax idea.' Miss Gush ington-s'Well,I I see no reason why he should not tax single men, but I don't think he
 ought to tax single women-it isn't our fault. ."-Troy Times.
 ''Ma," said Bobby. ''is it wrong for little
 boys to tie tin kettles to dogs' tailsa" 'fDe-
 cidedly wrong, Bobby; I hope you'll never
 do such thing as that" "No, indeed, ms,"
 replied Bobby emphatically; 'tall I do is to
 hold the dog."-Harper's Bazaar.
 Mrs. Dumpsey (appearing at the back door) -tJohnny, run down to Mir. Smiths and get
 me yeast cake" Johnny (without looking
 up from his game of solitaire marbles)-
 "You told me not to stir out of the yard to-
 day, and I ain't a-going o."-Bgalington Free Press.
 Jones-"You should not feel so terribly
 concerning the loss of your dog. It will do
 no good to mourn over it. Learn to take things just as they come." Smith-"I can
 take things they come all right, but it
 breaks me all up to let go of them just as they go."-Chicago Herald.
 "How much do you gin'rally git for a job like thiss" asked rural bridegroom of the
 minister who married him. "The law al-
 lows me dollar" "Well, great Scott, o111 to law bout it. Reckon I'll have trouble enough now, anyhows"-Time. Professional Failure.--"Can you recom- mend something spring tonic.' inquired sallow dyspeptic, stepping listlessly into an aromatic pharmac. "Yes," replied the drug gist, CT have number of excellent prepara- tions. What is your line of businesss' 'sI am professional faith urer."-The Epoch. Mrs. Leftout-"Have you your Sunday I school lesson, Bobby." Bobby-''Ye ! Mrs. L.-"What is the golden textg' B. "Ask and you shall receive" MT. Leftout I (who went to Washington for an appoint | ment and has just returned without it)-
 ''Tut. tut, wife; be careful what you let that boy read."-Omsha World. Flap-rm in love, and the only disagree ! able thing about it is that the girl is older than l..
 Jack-How old are you nows I'm IS.
 And the lady is what? Twenty-two.
 Well, make your mind easy. By the time you are 21 she will be only 20.-Yankee Blade.
 'The public be blamed" growled the plumber. "They have cheap coal in summer and cheap ice in winter, and yet they grum-
 ble and splutter because they can't have things cheap all the time. John, discharge that journeyman. There hasn't been 8 break in any of his pipe work for six months He's meant for politician, he is, and not for a ber."-New York Herald. Necessity is the Mother of Invention."- q don't see," said the lady with literary
 tastes, "where you get all the beautiful ideas for your poems, MT. Rondo. What do you find your greatest intellectual stimulusf" "Plain hunger, madam" replied the bard, | somewhat sadly, fdid much for William of Avon and has at times materially accelerated fehny own muse. May I have the pleasure of taking you in to supper?"-Puck.