davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12
A Historical Bell.

At Lumpkin, Ca, is a church bell
with history. The old bell has done
much service for many different peo-
pie. It has engraved upon it the year
1000, the year in which it was made.
For number of years it tolled the
hour for congregations in a convent in
the Netherlands. It was afterward
carried to Lisbon, and from there to
Madrid, and was in the monastery at
that place when the great Napoleon
invaded that territory, taking every
thing as he pushed his forces over
plains and up mountain sides, and all
bells were Being taken and recast into
cannon for the furtherance of his war
like ambition. The owners of this bell,
seeing his intentions, and loving their
sacred property that had so long
served them, secretly took it down
from its lonely tower, and placing it
on board large vessel about to sail
for this country shipped it to New
York, where it remained for many
years, until it was purchased by q
Lumpkin man for his church. It has
been used so much it has lost its tone,
and will have to be laid aside.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

nov gun in my dress suit the night be.
fore, He would not tell mo his name or
where he lived. because he seemed to think
that ought to remember that. Possibly
I met him years ago when he wore q
smooth face and clothes with a wide black
and white stripe around them. Now he
had lutte whiskers. parted in the middle,
and London clothes. which hung on his
system like the seat of q baby elephants
trousers. OF course could not remember
him. As he did not have the politeness to
tell me his name. told him would have
to be excused and go up to the Royal Pal
ace and play tennis. When every other
man who introduces you does everything
else but pronounce the names it is only
etiquette to refresh the memories OF people
afterward. Still I was saddened all the
afternoon by this occurrence. and when
her royal stoutness asked me why I seemed
SO sad could do nothing but with trem.
bling lips lean on her shoulder.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

burst of music. and the small. royal band.
with no leader but little drum major with
a black velvet Jockey cap and the air OF ono
who owns the earth. came along the ave-
nue.. which was walled with 60.OUo people,
in the midst of whom a tall. 1.-the. American
fool might have been seen.
In about two weeks another red coacn
came along. and there was some one IN II;
Everybody said. That's 'er. l afterwata
learned that it was the royal CHI ambermaio.
I woke up one of my legs and tried 70 geI
better place. 1 got one where the mud was
a little less yielding. but the Juice from an
umbrella owned BY a short lady ran down
my neck. She also put side-whiskers on
my silk hat by rubbing it the wrong way.
Then several red coaches came by: Every,
body said: That's 'er. and then ne waiteo
again. have been fool three times this
wear that I remember of. Once when
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12
Josh Billings Philosophy.

Cunning IL the wizdum ov animals
very cunning but very short-sighted.
Thare IL no better company for 9TH
ers than he who is good company for
himself.
Civilization increases our wants,
and our ability to crafty them, and
that liz about all that kan be sed in fa-
vor ov it.
The CRATE mistake ov American life
IL that we discount everything our
happiness, all our desires, all our ex-
pektashuns.
Emmy man who will spred a SANDER
IL sekond-handed liar, mulch meaner,
if possible, than the one who origi-
mated it.
Menny people are like an old len
with one chicken; they display a CRATE
deal ov fuss and hurry, but very little
dispatch.
All lies, before they bekum current.
pass thru three hands; the fust IL sum
very diskreet person, who looks wize,
and only hopes that things amt so
and so; the sekond liz lawless gossip.
who haz no doubt but what things are
SO, or even wuss; the third is malish-
us vampire. who fully indorses the foul
blot, and spreds it broadcast thru the
land.
Pride and anger are closely allied.
Diskreshun liz the smartest thing en-
ny man possesses. If he haz got plenty
ov brains with it, he liz giant; and if
he hain't got mulch ov emmy, he is re-
spektabel pigmy.
My opinyun of strikly honest men IL
that they are skarse.
He who haz got nothing to do in this
life but to amuse hisself, haz got on
hand the hardest kind ov Job know
ov.-Neao York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12
No Blooms Need Apply.

Gan you d1rect me TO racine City Z"
asked the Buffalo man of q station
agent in Dakota as he left the train at
a ahuddle" of four or five houses.
Right across the street for infor.
nation, SIR" was the reply, and the
stranger walked across to a shanty
bearing the sign of Real Estate" and
put the same question to red-headed
man who was busy folding and sealing
a prospectus.
"This is it, sir" was the calm reply.
"Why-why-"
"You are disappointed, of course"
"Well, rather"
'You expected to see city of at
least 5000 inhabitants, parks, schools,
factories, and all that?
eyes, I did"
"That's the way with many others,
but it is not our fault. Our object is
to go slow and sure, and not create any
thing like boom to give fictitious
values. We have done remarkably
we'll thus far. One year ago this was
the only structure in the city. Now
look around.
NOW 1 can count seven.
Exactly. That's what our latest
prospectus says-improved 700 per
cent. in one year. Can you ask town
to go aHead faster than that? Don't
confound this wonderful progress with
a boom, however. Booms have killed
half this Western country. We don't
want any"
Flows real estate?" queried the
Buffalo man after while.
advancing, of course. Six months
ago offered lots on Washington ave-
nue. for $40 foot. To-day 1 am asking
$40, foot. That's 100 per cent, isn't
it, and nothing like boom. We are
simply growing on our merits alone.
That's the proper way for town to
grow"
'Any factories here?"
"There are. A year ago we had none.
Now we have blacksmith and shoe
maker. That's an increase of 200 per
cent, and want you to find town to
match =. There has been no boom,
however-remember that. It's just q
natural growth"
WHATS the pOpulal1On
"That's one of the strong points in
my new prospectus. A year ago I was
here alone. To-day we number twenty
two souls. Think of the tremendous
per cent. of increase! All legitimate
and on it's merits, and no boom to cause
rush"
care the future prospects fatter-
ing?"
Exceedingly so. This climate is
good for catarrh and a check on bill
iousness. Our seasons are very mild,
and farmer can get sixteen hours a
day out of the hired men. This is a
great distributing point for trade, and
the center of manufactures, and we
shall seek to have the national capital
removed here. We expect six railroads
and two canals to cross here, three
large universities have asked for sites,
and before the end of the year Con-
gross will be asked for a public build
ing, to cost not less than MILAN dol
lars. Flattering? I should remark.
But we amt doing any Growing about
it. 1t might start boom, and booms
are the bitter foes of new towns. We
want to grow on our merits as the COM
ing city of the glorious West. If you
write anything for your home paper
just put that in-all legitimate and
solely on its merits, and no booms need
apply.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

looked at 1t in utter astonishment and one
man near me yelled God save the Queen,
as he gently inserted his hand in nv pocket
Another man stepped On my patent ather
shoe and tried to hold his breath. but it was
too strong foS him.
It now rained.
Then mounted policeman drove down
the long ranks of excited people. Iwish
knew as much as he seemed to know:
Solomon In all his glory was a little. wilted
wayside violet compared with that man. II
! had his self-respect together with my
great big teeming mule teaming) brain, I
would be. no doubt. a man who could make
the civilized world stand aghast.
Then another red coach with red driver
and three footmen in red and gold and saw
dust legs and powdered hair drove by. A
tradesman on my left stuck his wet UNI
brella through my high hat and mu INJURED
God save the queen. There was Lo ono
in the coach. and We couldn't have seen
them II there had been a dozen.
IL now rained again.
We waited for the clouds to roll by. Ny
legs went to sleep Ane bv ono and slum-
bered on peacefully. At last there was .
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

ments. such as they are. Everybody pays
his compliments to the channel 1t Is
lovely sheet of water. l looked at il quite
while with great big, solemn. soul lit eyes
and heaving chest. 1t is not wide chan
uel but it is q very busy ono.
Invent at once to the Victoria nave
been asked to say good word for the
hotel, and now hasten to do SO. 1t Is very
large and makes IS per cent. per annum on
Its capital l slept and picked my teeth
there, but ate elsewhere. l always like TO
eat elsewhere. and so did. The hotel did
not like it I said / was sorry. but could
not seem to help it. I was willing to pay
for the attendance which l did not get.
also the wine. ale. beer. malt liquors. po-
liceman, prayers, writing paper. lights,
fuel. feed. baled hay, perfumery. stilton
cheese. tar roofing. medical attendance.
common lumber. cafe NOR. lime, cement
and use of lit, but just would kind of like
to eat where / chose, SO long as was there
on the European plan. Ii happened to be
several miles away sitting for wax figure
OF myself to be used by Nine. TuSSaud and
Mrs. farley. would not jump the moment
the whistle blew and scoot for the Victoria
Hotel. in order to run up a still bigger bill
for use of mustard-spoon. laundry of nap
kin, use of toothpick. wear and tear of
dining-room floor, etc.
So the Victoria reproved me and the man
ager looked askance at me. When came
in late. looking we'll fed and with sparkle
of merriment in my beautiful, rich. brown
eyes. he looked at me responsibility and
butted his head against the wall two times
in rapid succession. The Victoria, or Vic.
as the irreverent call IL, is run by American
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12
Not Divided BY lnharmony.

Husband-What's this hear about
war among the dress-reformers?
Wife Zone of them)-Pm sure don't
know, but it can't be true. We are as
harmonious as turtle doves.
Husband-Well, then, how do you
account for this divided skirt we are
al the time hearing about. -Roches.
ter Post Express.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12
An Easy Subject.

IONA professor of phrenology ex-
amined my Uranium to-day. He said
I knew nothing whatever regarding the
value of money.
Dick-Did you pay him?
Tom-Yes, I gave him dollar in
advance.
Dick-Then there was no need at all
OF his examining your head. Anybody
else could have told You the same thin9:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12
LIGHT AND BRIGHT.

COMPLETE list-Lucrezius Borgers.
THE rivers furnish the most curren.
news.
EVERY fat man has theory on how
to dispose of the surplus.
Has the horse who wins by bare
neck any advantage over pretty girl
at ball?
CHARLIE MITCHELL has gone back to
England. Thus we get rid Of at least
one English "sparrer."
SHE-I wouldn't marry you for S2O,.
600. He-But 1 have $4,000. She
., well, that's different.
ONE reason that riches have wings is
that the government insists on putting
eagles on one side of the dollars.
A TEXAS farmer wants to know what
he ought to get for Kicking cows
Five years, if you do it habitually.
IT is a good thing, sometimes, to trim
up tree, occasionally, and it helps q
boy, sometimes, to be trimmed down.
OLD Maid-Don't tell such blood
curdling stories; you make my teeth
chatter. Old Beau-Look out they
don't fail out
Z F1NANc1ER- Dorothy, I think you
ere dreadfally extravagant to buy all
those things. "But my dear Rufus, I
had them charged"
LANDLADY-Be careful low you whip
that carpet. It's very fine piece of
goods. Tramp working for his din
ner)-Yes'm. It's hard to beat.
Mrs. GABBLE (reading a newspaper
In India the women are shut up. Mr..
Gabble-They are, Ell? 1 didn't know
that it was possible to shut up woman
in any country.
I SEE that you are an enthusiastic
member of the American party Eyes,
it is our only recourse against PERM
cious immigration. "How long have
you lived in this country" six
months"
CONVICTED Beggar Your Honor,
couldn't you change my sentence of
imprisonment into fine? "No; that l
cannot do. And where would you get
the money if I did," II could beg. a
little every day until I had enough"
MINISTER Ito Johnny on his knees y
Where do we find any mention of gam
bling in the Bible? Johnny-In the
story of David. Minister What !!
When did David ever gamble. Johnny
When he took four kings from the
Philistines.
SURE preventive of mosquito bites
Take the cover off your cistern, crawl
into the cistern, replace the cover, and
duck under the water. As long as you
remain there entirely submerged in
water we will stake our reputation for
veracity that you'll not be bitten by q
mosquito.
Mrs. GoTHAM-Did you fin6 the
Western people as hospitable as they
are reported to be, Mr.. Travelle? Re-
turned Tourist indeed. All the
leading citizens took me right into
their hearts, invited me to dinner, in
trcduced me to their families, and sold
me corner lots.
"PLEAsE, sir, give me stamp" she
said at the postoffice window, the
other day. "Here it is, little girl, "
said the clerk, as he raked in the two
pennies and passed it out. She took
it and walked directly to the mailing
boxes and dropped it into one of the
Sits. Here! what did you do that
tor?" called the clerk "Please, sir,
but I dropped letter in yesterday with
out any stamp on it, and that's to make
up for it.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12
mot enjoyment and not sorrow
Is our destined end or way;
But to act that each tomorrow
Kind nc f,rxbo, <bop - lox-O

The sentiment so aptly expressed by the
poet ought to sound like trumpet to every
sluggish soul, and animate them to new and
vigorous efforts to improve their condition.
To all those who have the desire to press for
ward, but who are not sure of the way, we say,
write to B. F. johnson d Co., Richmond,
Va, and they will be of service to you.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12
FOR A GOOD GIRL.

From the brides mother, set of delightful
"doyIies" and nut-crackers.
From the Light Honorable William E.
Gladstone. to the Earl of Fife. a base drum
and stereoscope for the sitting-room.
From ireland. a bushel of early rose pota-
toes and the motto. worked in green yarn
on a perforated cardboard ground:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

Those who use Dobbi MS Electric Soap
each week, (dna their name is lenon) save
their clothes and strength, and let the soap
do the work. Did you ever try it? If not,
do so next Monday sure. Ask your grocer
for it.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

A homely man may not look attractive in
ball room crush, but he'Is just as good to
borrow money from as any modern Adonis.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12
Retailed at Wholesale Prices.

8. r. Huyett, wholesale music dealer Of
st. Joseph, Mo-, announces in this paper that
wholesale prices-thus saving retail purchasers
$50 to $50 on each instrument. This house is
the Oldest and largest on the Missouri River in
the music business, and have fine reputation
for selling reliable goods at lowest possible
prices. Send to Mr.. Huyett for catalogues and
other information
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

"Yes," said the poet to the boy, cs he
6tepped into the elevator, 81 am going up.
want to feel for once in my life that am
rising poet"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

A man in a neighboring town recently
paid $500 for glass eye. This strikes his
neighbors as quite an eye dear.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

The tailor often sends home on Saturday
the trousers he promised the Monday before
but then, we are accustomed to these breech-
es of promise.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

Merchant Ito applicant for charity
Il am surprised to see an able-bodie5
man like you begging"
Applicant Gin hoarse Whisper -"Oi've
losht me voice, and can't folly me per
fession."
Merchant What is your profess
sion?"
Applicant "Clan-na- Gael agitator."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12
Hark, the sound of many voices
Jubilant in gladdest song,
And full many q heart rejoices
As the chorus floats along;
Hail the Favcrite Prescription"

Wonderful beyond description
Woman's best and truest friend.
Well may it be called woman's best friend,
since it does for her what no other remedy
has been able to do. It cures all those deli
cate arrangements and weaknesses peculiar
to females. Cures them, understand. 9th
but Dr.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription eff
fects permanent cure. It is guaranteed to
do this, or the money paid for il will be
promptly refunded. It's the great remedy
of the ace.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

The humorist is about the only man who
likes to have his work laughed at.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

Frosted feet may be cured in one or twt
days by the use of Salvation Oil, the grea
pain destroyer. For sale at all druggists 2
cents.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

JUST dropped over here
to attend the royal we'd
ding and shall remain a
week at this town, per-
haps. I could not attend
the Battenberg wedding
on account of illness
among my stock. but I
said to myself then that If
l ever happened to be
near London again when
there was a royal wedding
l would not crawl out Of
it on those grounds.
I took a club train from
Paris at half past 4 in the
evening and came via
Calais and Dover to Lon
don. The ride was de-
void of incident. The
channel has my compli-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

The worst Nasal Catarrh, no matter of
how long standing, is permanently cured by
Dr.. Sage's Catarrh Remedy.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12
EYE AMONG ROYALTY.
IHE FAMOUS HUMORIST ATTENDS
THE FIFE WEDDING.

de Sends the Royal Bride a Beautiful
Homemade American Present-Viewing
the Marriage Pageant in a Rain-Storm-
Bret Harte and Euchre.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

New York is CITING on finely with it's
Worlds Far project. No formal call for
subscriptions has been made as vet.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

Our local politicians arc making acllvs
arranrements for the next campaign. They
ordered box or DR.. Bulls Cough Syrul
aud feel confident and happy.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

Mr.. Blinks Tin dairy restaurant): sTm
most starved for a bowl of milk and some
berries with real cream on them. Bring me
a double order"
waiter: eyes, sab. Eeen summering on
q farm suppose sah?"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1889-10-12

HuL. TOPEKA STEAM LAUNDRY wants an
III 10 agent in every good town. Terms liberal
and viii insure the finest work to be had Work
from individuals where we have no agent will re-
one way. F. A. Ripley, Mgr, 625 Jackson, St,
Topeka.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1889-02-07
RIOTS IN BELGIUM.
The Labor Troubles Are Aggraya-
ted By Socialists.
THE POLICE UNDER ARMS.
The strike Is Spreading Through Brus-
sells and Liege. and Many Encounters
Between the Mods and the Mil
itary Are Expected.

LONDON, Feb. THE periodical Socialist
outbreak ia Belgium, the recurrence Of
which was predicted some time ago, has been
brought about in the usual way. All Social
IT disorders in Belgium are conducted under
the glise OF uprisings of Discontinued, i'll used
and III paid worldngmen, and all working
mems strikes in that country are nothing
more nor less than Socialist demonstrations.
1t does not follow, however, that oil Belgian
Socialists are worxingmen, nor that all Bel
gian yOrSingmen are Socialists.
For several years past the Socialist leaders
have devoted most OF their time TO fomenting
strikes amongst the glass workers and iron
and coal miners in Belgium, and in the case
Of every strike that has occurred the mis-
guided workingInen have received at the
hands Of the Socialists what those worthies
are pleased 10 call assistance.
This aid hes been chiefly, If not wholly, con-
aned TO the Indictment Of collisions between
tho strikers and the police, in which the
former have invariably como off second best,
and The measure Of benefit derived by the de-
fcated workers from the interest taken in their
welfare by the professional agitators may
therefore be easily estimated.
Still. there seems TO be no abatement Of the
confidence reposed in the agitators by their
dupes, as the present strike at Chartered at
tests. Not disheartened by their lack Of sue
cess ia previous strikes and the fact that
many of their number We're killed in former
collisions with the gendarmes, the striking
glass workers, egged on by their Socialist in
citers, engaged IN a terrific fight with the po-
lice yesterday, with the usual result of their
defeat aud complete route
Later dispatches from Brussels indicate
that the strike is spreading, and the authori
ties at I4iege and other manufacturing centers
are making the preparations suggested by
experience To combat the disorder threaten
ing their districts