davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1889-08-10

This Is to give notice that the subscribers have
obtained from the Orphans Court Of Carroll
county, Ia Maryland, letters testamentary on
the Personal Estate Of
SIMON SHAFER,
late OF Carroll county, deceased. All per-
sons having claims against the deceased are
warned to exhibit the same, with the vouch-
ers thereof legally authenticated, TO the sub
scribers. on or before the Sd day Of March,
1880; they may otherwise by law be ex-
cludsd from al benefit Of said estate.
Given under our hands this 29th day OF
July, 1889.
AARON SHAFER.
GEORGE l. SHAFER.
a,-a A. Executors
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1889-08-10
BOARDING.

Persons can be accommodated at
CENTRAL HOTEL
WESTMINSTER, Mn
By the day. week or month, Good Beds
Airy Rooms, and Good Table Polite Atten
ton. Terms moderate.
JOHN MARSH,
Aug. l3w Proprietor.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1889-08-10
GREAT BARGAINS.

Six Spring Wagons, light and heavy, three
with tops and three without. Suitable for
milk wagons or light hauling. +. Il. Shipley,
Washington Road, Westminster. "
Grain Drills, Spring Harrows and Flows at
Room Il Zjle's.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1889-08-10
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.

aug 3 is. Jos. W. Berret, Auction
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1889-08-10

aug3l a
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1889-08-10
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.

Tue eopy,-Test:
aug 50 wv. n. MARTIN, Clerl
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1889-08-10
dividend NO 50.

GEORGE L. STOCKSDAL
ans3 A. Administrator
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
Ungainly Man.

Man is an ungainly creature at the best
His head is an irregular spherold; his eyes
are not alike OF of equal efficiency; his whis-
kers won't grow uniformly. One shoulder is
higher than the other, one hand or foot larger
than the other-and this on opposite sides
his hips df he has any are unequal in shape
The calves of his legs are not twins in any
thing but age, and without his tailor, halter
and bootmaker he is very sorry looking
animal As for women-well, this article is
not written to discuss their physical crooked
ness. If it was it would not be half the
length that it is-San Francisco Chronicle
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
Money for NIoneY,s Sake.

The late Dick Hopple, whose wealth was
counted up into the millions, was an ardent
lover Of money for moneys sake. he didn't
accumulate it with the intention of buying
pleasure with it, neither did he ever, with a
miser's motive for boarding, deny himself the
necessities of life He always had for him
self the best, and always lived like gentle
man that he was, every inch of him Still
he loved TO accumulate for the sake of &C
emulation. When he died an old tin box al
most as big as a Saratoga trunk was among
his goods and chattels in the safe deposit
department of the Lafayette bank. 1t
was not filled with bulky plate and other
Hopple heirlooms, neither were there any
old clothes in it. There were deeds, plenty
of them, a few mortgages, some bonds,
good deal of shining gold and the rest of the
filling was greenbacks of denominations that
were large 1t had been the custom of the
old gentlemen for years whenever he had
$1,000 in change to buy $1,000 greenback
with it and put it in the tin box Tho
law, it will be remembered, does not allow
greenbacks to be taxed. This money SO hid
away did not increase in value, did not earn
anything, did not in any possible way bone
fit the world. But hold 1t did benefit the
world little. Tho knowledge that it was
safe in the old tin box made one man happy,
and that man was Dick Hopple. That was
something .-CincinnGti Ti:Acs-Star
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03

poor fellow looked like the frame OF a mar.
As he walked across the yard the vino
seemed 10 fairly blow through both his tat
tiers and his anatomy, and he shivered as he
felt the blast One of the negroes glanced at
the chattering wretch, and then remarked tc
his mate, with contented chucble: Looks
like times war mighty hard outside, Bill"
YOU'RE shouting, replied Bill.
"But | want to again answer your question
about reform. The police would be apt to
mislead you Oh this subject. While warden
looked into the matter, and while | don't
recall the exact figure, the percentage of
convicts that was returned to the prison was
very small, certainly below per cent.
meet men every day of my life who have
done time, come out, settled down among their
former acquaintance and lived honest lives.
see, in the course of year in ST. Louis,
hundreds of them, in all walks of life. work.
ing at the trades, driving team and in higher
walks The rule, however, is for n man who
during his confinement has seen the error of
his ways to so off to some strange locality
and commence life again. Every town in the
country has its Jean Vatican. | meet them
everywhere. and | travel acknowledgment
who come up to me and say: That term
served with you made a man of me- The
police officers glib axiom, once a thief,
always n thief, finds no echo in my heart 1t
is not my intention to discuss the whipping
feature in detail. Horrible as it is, it is sane
toned by law. 1t is for the legislature to
abolish it. | only give my opinion, based
upon observation here and abroad, that bet
ter results, both to the men and the contract
ors can be obtained without it, or any of the
hundred puniShments. To take this view,
must stand squarely on the platform that the
states duty is not to punish convicts, but to
reform them. st. Louis Globe-Democrat.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03

'atronized. They rent'the stores for shor:
time, and so have to pay an exorbitant rent
They oftentimeS have to freight the goods
two or three times over, and are utterly ire
sponsible. Notwithstanding these facts,
there are hundreds of people who think they
can get better bargains there than of the
regular merchants. In most cases, where
such is the case, the men come by the goods
in an irregular way; either the wares are
struggled, are imported with an undervalua-
ton or are stolen outright. The more COM
mon method is to sell goods especially manu-
featured for such sales, and of course made
in the very cheapest way, being for the most
part utterly worthless. This class of goods
comprises about every article known as luxu-
ries for the laboring classes. Many of the
goods are sold at auction and the vendors al
ways have a plausible story to account for
their possession Of the goods Springfield
Republican
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
Tho Deer LNnS a Cont.

Claude Overst:cct and John o. Matthews
went out on a bird hunt over in the fork, and
thinking they might find larger game, took
along some shells charged with buc!lshot
While rambling about in the fields near the
swamp they spied large ram goat, fawn
colored, with long horns, lying in a clump of
bushes same distance away, and as Mr..
Claude Overstreet had never shot deer,
John Matthews gave him the shot Claude
got down on his hands and knees and crawled
about 100 yards, when thinking he was near
enough to insure dead shot, he raised up
and fired. John Matthews had gone around
to take a stand for the buck in the event
Claude missed him, and in doing so discov-
cred that it was a billy goat, but didn't
give it away to Claude. When he fired the
goat jumped high in the air and gave large
ha-ha-ha, but Claude ran up and cut his
throat before he discovered the mistake
SylvSnia (Ga.) Telephone.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
Toys Made of Old Corks.

Curious toys may be made of cork One of
these is the well known little lumber such
as is generally constructed Of pith; but cork,
especially if it be followed, will answer the
purpose Make the puppet of three or four
corks; shape and paint it as skillfully as you
can, and glue to the feet, or under them,
hemisphere of lead. When thrown into any
position the figure of course rights itself and,
like cat, always falls on its feet. 1t is quite
possible to make a cat also of pith or cork
which will, indeed, always fall upon its feet
Nature
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03

ne stretched~L Himself out on a fat shelf Of
rock and, lighting pipe, gazed up at a win
try sky.
Originality is as good as money" he said
aloud. when spent those six months at
Sing Sing Thought it was clear waste of
time. But this little blue chip scheme l con-
coctcd up there is dandy. When wander
toward the lilacs of Louisiana for my lungs
sake I'll try to sell it to some of the boys on
the grand southern tour. n-Texas Siftinps.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
\ Close Relation,

1t is related that Sir Nicholas Bacon was
about to pass Judgment upon man who had
been guilty Of robbery, at that timo punish
able by death; but the culprit pleaded for
mercy on the ground that he was related to
the judge. How is that3" he was asked.
MY lord" was the reply, your name is
Bacon, mine is Hogg, and hog and bacon
have always been considered akin" THAT
is true" answered Sir Nicholas; "but as hog
is not bacon until it has hung, until you are
hanged you are no relation of mine. San
Francisco Argonaut.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
A Case of Conscience.

A Boston confectioner the other day re-
ceived the following note: "Sir-When was
a child, over thirty years ago, took off your
counter in Brattle street a little sugar man,
price probably one cent, and it has troubled
my conscience of and ON ever since; and
once | sent money to you by friend, and
she was ashamed to deliver it, SO inclose it
by mail fifty cents and beg that you will
acknowledge it. Chicago Times
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
Her New Sunday School Song.

A very little girl in the infant class of one
of our city Sunday schools came home last
Sunday and told her mother that the teacher
had taught them new song. On expressing
a wish to hear it, the mother was much as
tonished at the following sentence, which was
all the child could remember; I'm a little
greenhorn among a half cheese" The words
which had been misunderstood by the child
were these: I'm little cleaner among tie
harvest sheaves. Hartford Courant
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
ter,sllfe to be injured IN such a way.r

ter's life TO be injured In such way"
do you have any gentlemen customersT
"Yes, but they are all elderly business men,
who wear corsets as a support for weak
backs. understand that there is one firm in
town who make a speciality of manufacturing
mems corsets, but l have never been able to
find out where their place is. One thing do
know, and that is that lots of dudes and
actors wear them. New York Press.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
Monkeys Prefer the North.

At Atlanta, little, squatty Italian, carry
ing on his back hand organ on the top Of
which was perched a consumptive looking
monkey, was seen near the Union depot.
How do you like the south'" he was asked,
as he let down his organ and began caressing
the monkey With shrug of his shoulders
ard an atfectionate glance at the monkey, he
said me no lika de wedder. He maka de
monk sieka, an he no dansa lax he do in de
uorfa. "-Savannah News
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03

In Germany after girl graduates she is
sent into the country to the house of some
notable housewife, where she remains year,
learning the most approved methods of
household work Some towns have started
schools for this work, notably Hamburg. In
England there is a training college for Eng
fish housewives at "Goodrest," near Kenil.
worth.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
The Grassnopper and Tho .p,.

A Colony of Ants, not being exactly Salts
fed with their leader, cast about TO find an
other, and when the day Of Election came a
Grasshopper was Elevated to the place by a
Large Majority. The Old Ones shook their
heads, but the Young Ones Enthusiastically
explained:
His Uncle left him Hundred Thousand
Dollars, and he must DO all right"
In about three months, however the Grass
hopper had so Mismanged Affairs that the
Ants were compelled to Bounce him or 90
out of the Industry Business. The Deposed
leader went to the Sage for Consolation, but
was promptly answered.:
MORAL
"The Possession of Money doesn't ALWAYS
mean the Possession of Brains. Detroit
Free Press
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
There Was No Occasion.

Mamma Ito Flossie, who had been lunching
with little friend)-I hope you were very
polite, Flossie, at the table and said eyes,
please" and mo, thank you'll"
Flossie-Well, didn't say "No, thank
you" because you see l took everythng.-
The Epoch
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
LIKE TO BE HUMBUGGED.
MANAGERS OF FAKES AND FREAKS
AGREE WITH BARNUM.
The Public Is Easily GulIed and the Bad
Grammarians Know It-Some of the
Freaks and FoIIies of Travelling Shows.
The Seductive Moving Store.

1.-THE American people like to be hum
bugged." AS with P. T. Barnum so with the
managers of the flakes, freaks and follies'
class of dime museums, side shows and trav-
cling stores, this truism is indelibly stamped
in letters of gold on the corner stone of their
existence. Were it not for this phase of pub
Ec character, their profession would be vain.
Bat, in addition to this faith in the weakness
of Americans, certain other requisites are
demanded in the make up of these men.
He needs be something of an actor in or.
der to look one steadily in the face as he
asserts what he knows is utterly false; he
must be sbrewd, quick and cunning in argu.
mentS and especially in striking a bargain:
ne must have a certain vol ubSity and fuency
of language with the ability to use big words
to impress and bad grammar to put himself
in sympathy with the people he expects tc
victimize; he musth have plug" hat, a
snowy suit of clothes, half a dozen paste dia-
monds set in ring, shirt stud and collar but
ton, and soiled shirt front-the absence or
presence Of the rest of the garment is imma.
terial but fashion has 1ccrced in favor of
the bosom. The species is distinct and the
specimens have little in common with the
rest of humanity. The majority of them
were born in the role, with now and then one
who has assembled from helper or descended
from the Legitimate" When not ION the
road" they frequent certain haunts in the
large cities, usually some fifth or sixth class
hotel, eagerly watching for the latest hum
bug and devising means of securing plant.
Even in the smaller cities and towns there
are certain boarding houses where they put
up known to the profession as well as good
begging places to tramps. They are sure to
be dead broke" about three-fOurthS of the
time
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03
Train Time Changes.

" SCHUCHARD, DRUGGIST,
1s2 San Pedro and Acequia Streets
Drugs, Chemicals, Medicines. Toilet Articles
Soaps, Chamois Skins, Sponges, Brushes Per
fumery, etc. Physicians prescriptions care
fully compounded. SO
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-04-03

The output Of minerals in the United States
the last year exceeded that of the whole Of
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-06-06

Lorned, Kas.; H. L. Kempland, Sam c.
Mott, Anaconda, Mont; =. a. Gray, Bos-
THE WH.rE.-W. J. Robinson, Grants
vine: w. Ealber, Chicago; Joan Bedding
ton. Caldwell; Edward Green, Pocatello;
James Kelly. Ophir; z. D. Classify, Am
Fork Alfred Old. PARK City; E. E. Hume,
New York; &. Brown, A. johnson, MRS.
Began. Denver: VIM. Robinson, Ogden; D.
Pomeroy aud wife, Miss Eva PoIaeroy,
Evanston; Mrs. A V. Stoker and csilG,
Cedarville, Ohio; j. Cunningham, L. q \.
r. r.: w. A. Mcintosh, Mrs, Mcintosh, u.
10. Dymock. Mrs. Dynocl. St. John; Chris.
Peterson, Bingham; Henry Van Quill,
Iowa: Mike Harrington, Con Kelly, Butte
city: 4. B. johnson, Ogden; a. A. Cahoon,
Nephi: Jos. r. Basn, Texas; w. }. Gum
Ian. Y. Darwin. San Francisco; 4. Muir,
Canon city; F.. Strickland, Audubon, ONO
James Brown, Draper; John McComb,
Butte city, Mont.
THE CULLEH-H. IT. Reynolds, G. A.
Storrs, Springville; F. w. HeringtOn, Og-
den: j. Levitt, VIM. Reeves, Evanston
Mrs. Charles Wilkinson, Philadelphia
Mrs. Honeyman, Wells, New; a. Il. Car
riagtor. Chicaro; j. l.. GUrraEt, San Fran
cisco: Henry Shuir, New York; George
Heavitt and wife, Sedalia; Mrs. Charles
johnson, Bingham; W. A. Mathews, Sar
Francisco; Ed. L. Courtney, e. Il. Court
ney and wife, Chicago; +. z. Franklin
j. Y. GlendinernG, Denver; W. N. Dusen
| nar,.y prOyO
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-06-06
A Pettifogging Dog.

Congressman Allen, representative from
Mississippi, tells the following:
While practicing law in his native state the
case of man whose dog had been shot by a
neighbor, and who wished to obtain damages
for him, was brought before the court
Among the witnesses summoned to testify
to the qualities of the dead ANNA! was a slow
talking old darby, familiAz4y known as
Uncle Sam"
Ibid you know anything about this dog,
Sam!' asked the counsel for the plaintiff.
Il reckon did," replied Uncle Sam. I've
l,nowed him ever since he we're pup"
well, what sort of dog was he's" asked
the lawyer.
He was big yaller dog" replied Sam
"Oh," said the lawyer somewhat inpatient
", II don't mean how did he look. mean
what sort of dog was he-could he hunti
was he guardF'
"He couldn't do nathin' as knowed on, u
replied Sam slowly, '"cep eat, an sleep, an
lay roun' an boiler, an make fuss OATS
what made 'em call i'm what dey did"
And what did they call him" asked the
lawyer.
why, sab" replied Sam, folks called in
Lawyer. brakes Magazine.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-06-06
HE RODE FREE.
The Man Who Bet He Could Beat the
Conductor Is Now President of Road

The Man Who Bet He Could Beat the
Conductor Is Now President of Road.
Six or eight of US were sitting around the
stove in the old Mansion house in Buffalo one
night a decade of years ago, and the talk
finally turned upon railroads and how con-
ductors had been beaten by deadheads-- One
man told story, to be followed by announcer
and New Yorker finally observed:
Eyes, but this was in the past before there
vas any real system or much SHARPNESS. NO
one can beat conductor in these days"
That's very true" added second. "You
have got to either come down or get of. J"
There was a quarter of an hour of such
talk, and then man who had moved into
the circle and remained silent finally said:
well, | dunno I am sharp enough to
ride from here to Batavia without paying
fare"
Got pass, maybeg"
mo, haven't"
DO you mean to say that you can ride
without ticket or money!
~ have done it."
"Is the conductor relative Of yoursT
mo, sir"
"You didn't put up any personal proPertyT
'sNot thing"
"WeIl, if it can be done I'd like to see it
There are three Of US going down, and I'll put
up s25 that you can't ride for nothing"
lyon won't put the conductor on to met"
"No."
well, I'm going that way myself, and
believe I'll cover that bet. The understand
ing is that l show neither pass, ticket nor
cash, nor secure the conductor"
That's the size of it Put your money in
the hands of this gentleman, Judge Davis,
who lives at Batavia"
The money was put up, and next morning
we all went down to the train together. The
man who was to beat the road told US TO &c
into the sucker and he would presently
join us,
We got seats and the train pulled out, and
we were wondering If our man hadn't beer
hauled of before the start, when the dooI
opened aud he entered with the salutation:
Tickets, if you pleased"
"Say, if you keep on you'll be general man
ager some dayl" sneered the loser when h
saw that he had been roped.
He did better than that. A year ago n
was made president of a hustling western
road, and is now drawing princely salary
New York Sun. 90. '.-.'-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-06-06

It used to be the custom, and is now in
many localities, to ''beat down" in all trades
with storeleepers and merchants. An anus
ing example of this practice is given below:
In the old haggling way of tradeit was Gus
tomary to demand a great deal more than the
asker hoped to get. One time, on the Texas
frontier, man came into camp riding on
an old mule.
"How much for the muleT" asked by
stander.
"Jist a hundred dollars" answered the
rider.
"ru give you i've dollars" said the other
The rider stopped short, as If in amaaement,
and then slowly dismounted.
Stranger" said he, Il amt a-goin' to let a
little matter of ninety-fve dollars stand be
tween me and mule trade The mules
yourn."
Another story, somewhat of the same sort,
is related of an old tenant farmer who, on
paying his rent, told his landlord that he
wanted some timber to build house, and
would be much obliged if he would give bin
permission to cut down what would answer
for the purpose.
Mop said the landlord, sharply.
"WeI, then, sir" the farmer wenton, Evil
you give me enough to build barnF'
"No!"
''To make gate, thenF'
Eyes"
That's all I wanted" said the farmer
land more than expected. Yankee Blade
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-06-06

Town Printer-Mr. Plane, the carpenter,
is the greatest man you ever saw for making
promises and not living up to them. Two
months ago be promised to do little piece
of work for me, and hasn't got around to it
yet. That is how he treats all his patrons.
To Office boy)-Well, what is it, Johnny!
Office Boy-Mr. Plane, the carpenter, says
those bill heads you printed for him don't
suit.
Printer-Wh the matter with themi
Boyle says you've left out the words,
"Jobbing promptly attended to-" and if you
don't put that in he won't take them. y ankee
Blade
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-06-06
Coughing Congregations.

Clergymen who are annoyed by IT'S OF
coughing and nasal trumpetings so common
in churches and Westinghouse at this
season of the year, cannot do better than
recommend to their iocks an immediate
resort to ''Hale's Honey of Horehound and
Tar The result Of the advice, if taken,
VIII be comparative quiet on the succeed
ing Sabbath; for this potent remedy viii by
that tine have effected general cure.
MANY pastors know from experience the
value OF the preparation as a cure for oron-
chial affections, and can therefore consci-
enciously endorse it. Sold by druggists.
Great saving by purchasing large size.
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one NH
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-06-06

First Exquisite-Bah Jove, ChoIly, you are
looking all broke up. What's up2
Second Ditto-I was walking down street
Just now, with my choicest suit on, and fell
low insulted me grievousiy.
"You don't mean it, old boyl What did
he dog"
'Why, the rascal stuck into my hand one
Of those beastly three-dollar-pants circularsi
Ny goodnessl l really thought l should
swoon. Boston Transcript
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-06-06
The Revenge of Time.

Tapeyard-Who is that stunning girl you
raised your hat to?
Ribbonley-Miss Goldie Bullion.
Tapeyard ttimidly)-She didn't return your
courtesy. Perhaps she doesn't know you.
Ribbonley (bitterly)-Nol she does not
know me now; but when lam the only young
man at Ocean Foam next summer she will not
only know me but pine for me in vain
Lowell Citizen.