Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-09
SATIRE.

Satire, Adelbert. even the most good natur- ed is made up, in half, of ire.-Puck.
 Mr. Powderly always opens his door with Knight key.-Pittsburg Chroniele-Tele- graph.
 Tennyson compares men to trees. Some men do look spruce, that's @ fact.-Boston Courier.
 The ofice-seekers are after Benjamin In blocks of more than fve.-Louisville Courier Journal.
 When the Galena stuck fast in the mud and careened over she was gay leaneI.- New York Journal. By their fruit you shall know them; thers- fore the almanac makers are known by their dates.-Boston Gazette. Queen Victoria has dismissed her corset lacer, but her majesty will 'sstay there ": a while longer.-Boston Transcript. Distance is often measured "as the crow I fies," while the height of an opera house is measured by the theater fies.-Rochester Post-Express.
 An eastern servant has discovered that the human body contains more bones on Friday than on any other day of the week.-Roches- ter Post Express. The manufacturers of perforated chair seats have combined. It need occasion no surprise if the people sit down on this comb mbination. i-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph. Mrs. Westend-You appear to recognize that gentleman?
 Mrs. Lakeside (of Chicago)-Yes, we used ! to be quite intimate. He was one of my earlier husbands.-New York Weekly. t'My dear," said Galway lady to the old l school speaking of well known nobleman, 1 ''you cannot say he is of ancient birth; why,
 his ancestor only came to this country in the reign of Henry II P'-BlaeKwood's Magazine. . T-L- Sn;c v-{f one day to her oldest, who, like all others,
 was a boy, "why were you not little girl,
 so that you could help mammal" Promptly | came the answer: Because God made me g
 little boy for his own glory" Good Reasoning.-The rain pours, and af- l ter seeng half dozen street cars go by witt | no chance of getting even a foothold, Browr | calls out in despair to the driver of the next l "What are the street cars here for if they are always full!'-Fliegende Blatter
 Two little boys who were brought up OF the Shorter Catechsm had had some candy I given them. Their mother asked for some | to test their generosity. One promptly gave her some, but the other refused; whereupor l the generous one remarked: Mamma, sx. pect Ben WAS born in state of sin an6 | misery"
 The Vassar Yell-Wellesley sophomore tc l Vassar ditto-''I do think your class yell is just too lovely for anything. How did you get it upi" Vassar sophomore-"Oh, vt l were having meeting for that purpose, and 1 a mouse came gliding out of it's hole. The
 yell was kind of spontaneous affair" | Burlington Free Press.
 Fiokleby-I say, old man, do you see that | deuced pretty girl over there. I've been try | ing to make mash there for half an hour She don't seem to want to mash a bit. Whc 1 is she, any way, dye knewl | Brovn-My sister, Fickleby; and if you'll l step out into the alley with me, I'll do hel | mashing for her.-Burlington Free Press.
 Little Willie (aged ten)-Mamma, what ii an Elite Social club!
 Namms-It is @ club composed of tn,
 choicest people; those who move in the bes
 society.
 Wiilie-Is that what Websters dictionar,
 says!
 Mamma-It says that or the same thing
 in other words. Why do you ask. | Willie-I see an advertisement in the pa
 per of the Elite Social clubs dance, and ou
 colered hostler, who sleeps in the stable, aat
 the black cook are the committee on invita-
 tion.-Puok.