Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1889-08-11
KANSAS FOR KANsANS-"MIzoURY''
FOB THE "PUKES."
Kansas City. Missouri's @Water Car
niva1."

| OASdCy OI the Stuu lOI OtuoI PURPOSES
than bathing is recognized. Soon it viii
admit that it's fit TO drink. If the beel
in that city was emptied into the rive
the river would come nearer high-watel
mark than it has been for years. Blu
just listen to paid water-apostate, tht
pauper, the beggar, not one word abou
Kansas City, Mo-, spending a cent, bu
work congress, work the federal govern
ment. In other words we have been &
pauper, we are pauper, we intend eve,
to SO be. We have lived three decade:
Off of Kansas; Kansas is getting rail
roads. therefore we must now be con
slstent and beg for an existence from
the general government.
Beg for help, not because it will bene.
tit the people at large, but because it will
damage, injure, wound. cripple, hamper
curse the people at large. If congress-
can be worked to see that Gripping the
commerce of 100000 to keep 10000
people from starving through their own
Incidence, if won't much detract from
our opinion of the body as whole; yet
it will surprise a good many people.
LET'S PENSION MISSOURI.
1t will be cheaper to pension these
Missourians, although it will violate an
act of congress passed after the war. As
the loss will be greater felt by Kansans
than any one else, it would not be bad
scheme to call session of legislature
and issue bonds to be used to assist the
paupers of Kansas City, Mo. Yes, by
all means, let congress know that the
beer depot of the west wants
WATER! WATER! WATER!
Just contemplate it. Kansas City,
Mo-, bowling, yelling and foaming fo1
water. Three months ago the water
would have given the ''Pukes" the hy-
drophobia, but now the ''Pukes" like
''dives" are crying water! water! water
K. G. Times lament-"If our people are
not blind or unambitious." Herein lies
the entire problem. Thirty years have
demonstrated that K. c., No.. people are
unambitious, shiftless, thriftless. i. 9.
they "Mizourians. A Kansas City,
Mo-, mans best holt is living off of other
people. The lowest element sell beer
the middle classes live off Kansas, the
upper crust by wrecking railroad trains.
The railroads having given ZEN" the
slip, save local traffic line to Chicago;
the virtues of water are discovered.
Some years since Tom Ryan got a law
passed to survey the Big Arkansas river.
The Kansas City, Mo-, Times
almost burst its gall bags demonstrating
that ''river transportation" belonged to
the antediluvian ages, and if we recol-
lect right it gave as an instance of the
believers in the prehistoric things a
place called st. Louis, and calculated.
See Kansas City, Mo-, go and gaze
on st. Louis and never, never mention
water transportation again.
The people Of Kansas City, Mo-, need
water, but they need it more as bever-
age. If they were as us Kansans, sober
people, clear in mind, not befuddled
with beer, they might shake off their
lethargy and do something without
coming the old pauper game.
N1S7S MISSOURI
had convention resolving that if the
snags, ''beer kegs" bars and brush
could be kept out of the Missouri
river barges could be successfully run.
1t was also resolved "that if the Mis-
souri, river could be utilized Kansas
City, Mo-, would be the grandest place
on earth" The convention adjourned
Ito drink" and on the following morn
ing they all yelled "beer'' and wanted
nothing to do with water, and the mem
bers were furnished with transportation
''water" transportation.
In the books l have containing the
report Of this water carnival 1t is fol-
lowed by the brief, terse, plain, succint
statement ''that several train robberie5
were also reported in Missouri during
this year, 1878" The natural inference
is that the historian supposed that the
gentlemen attending the water carni-
VAL were present at the scene of the
alleged disasters.
IN 1878 KANSAS CITY, MO-,
had sixty-five barge loads of beer from
the Anheuser-Buscn brewery. From
that date competition between st. Louis
and Milwaukee was such that the peo-
pie could get beer cheap, and hence
there was no barge business.
WATER TRANSPORTATION EAST.
The railroads now in the east are max
ing sad havoc in the water rates by haul
ing grain at a rate that enables the ship
per to go by rail, and if this be done
where water transportation is good. what
will be the effect on Kansas City, No?
To treat this water problem in connec-
ton with the Leviathan pauper of the
west seriously is impossible, but we as
sert, first, That the products shipped
west, if water trar Sportatlon was good,
would not go to Kansas City. No. by
river, and Kansans would not ship to
Kansas City, Mo. and unload to go by
water, when they could get a railroad
rating to a terminal point east of Kansas
City, Mo. The only effects of this Kan
sas City "water carnival will be the
expenses of some bummers in Washing
ton for session or two of congress: the
lowering of railroad rates to east bound
points; the building out of Kansas City.
No., by all railroad lines now ending
there; the removal of wholesale
trade over to Kansas City, Kansas, and
general stampede of small men to Kan
sas.
THIS sPAsM
of Kansas City, No., don't mean any
thing. Its general tendency is good,
wholesome. 1t Is frightening
the observation-disclosures Missouri gets
scored it always has good effect on
Kansas. The people of Kansas City,
Mo-, are now seriously discussing among
"that if the Kansas City.
Mo-, papers are put to defending the
trade commerce, and outlook of Kansas
City, Mo-, something is the matter" and
one year more will prove that Kansas
City, No., is losing ground, and when
ever the people see it and know it they
Will leave Kansas City, Mo-, quicker
than the Israelites got away from