The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1889-03-23
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
oo"Ao Eecu,iarities of Journalistic Life In
Western Territory.


IN TINS town to freeze whisky within
ten 1eet OF a red-hot stove there is no
can LOT an editor to get up and hump
hlmseH. Our esteemed contemporary
down the street calculates to skip two
weeks and get drunk at least four
times and we shall be with him in
spirit. While we aim to publish the
greatest newspaper in the West we
can I hight 20 below zero worth
shucks Cum dig soils, which means
that as soon as the blizzard lets up we
will try to do better.
THE SAMOA AFFAIR.-In case of a
war count us in! We have already ar
ranged, in case war breaks out, to leave
the Kicker in good hands. or suspend
publication altogether and go to the
front. We shall go as General. We
shall beprepared to part with a liberal
quantiEof our blood, devour our share
of hard tack. and return to receive the
plauditof the multitude. Let 'er go,
Gallagher!
\ GGM TO THE H. II. Gan Indian
49, Re-shet-thinks-a-great-deal"
drank a pint of Bronson's bulge the
other evening and started for his abode
across the creek. Yesterday his dead
body was found on the highway near
the bridge, frozen so stiff that it broke
in two as the boys loaded it up. The
spirit had gone to the happy hunting
grounds, there to know sorrow never
again. acknowledgements
will think no more. Had he thought a
great deal more about water and a
great deal less about whisky he might
have pulled through until spring and
had another chance to run off horse,
buShe had become discouraged and
wanted to go. He is gone. 1t is we'll.
We traded him years subscription
to the Kicker for four big jack rabbits,
and we are six months ahead of him.
MOLEH1LL VS.. MOUNTAIN. is
a disposition on the part of few mud
stills to magnify the little incident
which occurred at the post-of1ice last
Tuesday evening. Last week we re-
ferred to Colonel Crocker as q thief.
We we're wrong. He was arrested in
Illinois for arson and jumped his bail.
He met us in the post-offlce and
knocked us down. While down we
explained that we were in error, and
he apologized and helped brush the
dirtOff our clothes. That's all there
was to it--one of the trifing incidents
OF everyday life-and that class who
are seeking to exaggerate the facts
will make nothing by it. When we
call an incendiary thief-a robber, an
abSconder-a bigamist an embezzler,
we shall apologize every time. There
is no reason why an editor shouldn't
also Dsa gentleman.
W&ESUPPLIED.-J. NJ. Tompkins,
our leading and popular druggist, has
receivedfrom the East fresh supply
Of arsenic, strychnine and rough on
rats, and any one requiring any thing
in thatlne will find his goods fresh and
hisuprices exceedingly moderate. Mr..
Tompkns uses the poor just as we'll
as the rich, and all who come are made
welcome
In Coop TIME. -Ihe "Howling Hy-
ena," which boasts OF q weekly circu-
lation of125 copies, and whose jealousy
of the Kicker's success is a matter of
public comment, sneeringly observed
last week that we had not yet secured
the rightto put postmaster" after our
name. Don't be in a hurry, gentle
men. We began on the ground floor,
and we can't grow nine stories all at
once. We don't want to be postmaster
just at present. being engaged in con-
ductinga great weekly newspaper. a
grocery, butcher shop, and hardware
store combined, but when we get more
time we may have something to say
about even the governorship. The only
pang of sorrow we feel is one for the
editor Of the Howling Hyena, who will
have filled drunkard's grave before
our plans are perfected.
A CORRECT VERSION. There are
several versions flying around in re-
gard to the unfortunate affair in the
Red Front Saloon last Friday night. As
we were present and a witness we will
state that when Major Shamocken came
in he was inebriated. Some one laugh
ingly asked him how he escaped from
Joliet, md the Major foolishly insisted
that his character had been impugned.
As we owed him fifteen dollars he
didhoe&'ant to harm us. but passed on
to Judge Shocks. The Judge was also
fargone with drink and in bad temper.
andthe two clenched and rolled on the
foe. The stove was upset, and in its
fallthe Major was mortally injured.
This is plain statement of the case.
Veal know that the Major was a
hoBe-thief. and he shouldn't have been
30 thin-skinued. We all know the
Judge as an old bum and corrupt Off
cial and he shouldn't have been so
ready to fight. Both were to blame
andyet neither could be held culpable.
Detroit Free Press.