Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1889-05-09
BUYING A PRESENT.
onop2ink expedition of Man Who Did
Mind tina Evn>r.a

shopping Expedition of Man Who Didn',
Mind the Expense.
He was one of the old-timers of Pos.
sum Ridge settlement, and was down
at the county seat for the first time
since the war. He went poking about
the streets. peering into the stores and
SHOPS with the air of man who had a
deep-seated purpose in view. He went
on until he came to large dry-goods
establishment, where he halted for a
minute as if undecided whether to enter
or pass on. Finally he Numbered in,
and, striking the first clerk he came to,
he said:
"Say, mister. hev yer any thing in
this ere shebang es 'ud be suitable fer
er birthday gif' fer the ole 'oman?n
why. yes" the clerk stammered
out, Il expect so. What would YOU
like to buy?"
oval, thar yer got me. stranger.
Tn derned if 1 know what 'ud suit"
NV hat have you been in the habit of
getting for the occasion?"
"Ihets jest it, young Teller, 1 hain't
never bought any gif' afore, and it's all
new to me. Yer see, it's this ere wav:
Men the ole 'oman's been married nigh
ter sixty year I say it's sixty past,
but she holds out agin me tibet it's
gwine onter sixty, but ole 'Squar Bee
son. who jined US, says I'm right, an
the ole 'Squar's mighty level-headed
man. Yer know Their Squire. reck-
on?'
Yes. know the Squire. But about
the PRESENT."
Eyes. that's jist what I wuz gittin'
at. Wal. yer see, as I said; men ther
ole 'oman's been er joggin' erlong ter
gethe' all them years up thar on Pos
sum Ridge, an sort o. humpiu' our
selves in Their craps an out, an we
hain't thought much er putin on no
style. ner nothin' O. that sort. But
t'other day fell ter readin' err leetle
piece what sorter set me ter goin' in
my mind, an felt like es eff l hain't
done jest fair by the ole oman, an l
KEEP er thinkin'. an by gum, ther fust
thing I knowed I'd done jes' plum b
made up mer min ter git 'er er birth
day gif'. want ter s'prise 'er."
Yes, and you want som ething real
nice, l SUPPOSED"
'That's what mister. Sumpin' rale
handsome that'll kin'er make up fer all
them gifts what she didn't git An l
don't keer eff it costs err right smart,
nuther, fer Their ole 'oman's been monty
faithful all them years, an hain't
never kicked on dom ther feedin' an
gittin' in Their wood an shuckin' out
Their fodder in ther winter, an helpin'
in Their hay stackin' an sech like in
Their summer"
"Well, now, here is nice dress
pattern that would suit first rate
'Thet's kin'er nice, stranger. Whit
does it come at?'
Ten dollars"
''Say, l reckon that wouldn't suit
Yer see / got 'er err calil1er gownd las
fall, an"
well. then, how is this wrap at eight
dollars?"
Wont do. guess. She's got err
shawl, an, asides, thet's a leetle grain
morn keer ter pay"
Here are pair of slippers at five
dollars"
Il reckon don't want them, nuther.
Es said, Their ole 'oman's been faith
full, an hain't never kicked agin keep
in up her eend O. ther work. an l
want ter s'pise 'er with sumpin' rale
nice, but. yer see, don't want ter go
too high"
"Well, here is pair of slippers at
two dollars. That's low enough, isn't
it?'
That's gittin' down some, but I'm
afeerd it's err leetle mite too high yit."
about how much are you willing to
pay?"
Il hain't going ter be perticler, mis-
ter, fer | started out ter git sumpin'
nice, even if it does come pooty well
up, but l wanter be leetle keerful.
Lem'me see, what does them thar BAN
banners come at?"
Ten cents"
"Hain't none fer five?"
mo"
"Wul, I reckon I'll jest take one O.
them. Els l said at fust. / hain't per-
ticker erbout er few cents one way err
tother, an asides it'll do fer us both
ter use. Don't yer reckon Their ole
'oman's eyes IL stick out like knots on
er lorg when she sees t?'-Detroit
Free Press.
nIrHoCE noNop