The Arizona sentinel. [volume] (Arizona City [Yuma], Yuma County, A.T. [Ariz.]) 1872-1911, 1889-02-23
VERY EMBARRASSING.
How Mark Twain Once Saved His Life by
Hedging on the Truth.

bJOpp6u, one Udy, dG ArhduSdW OlJy
He had, years before, known the place
as Campbell's Bend, and naturally,
had desire to poke about unattended
by persons who would be likely to
break in upon his musings; so, avoid
ing the committee that had been ap-
pointed to receive him, he wandered
off into the woods. He thought moth
ing of the distance he was traversing.
There was music among the tree tops,
and flowers, rich in deep coloring, per-
fumed the air. After a long walk he
came to a cabin, and, upon entering,
found an old and tangle-bearded man
sitting near the empty fireplace. The
old fellow glanced at Twain, and then,
springing between the visitor and the
door, snatched down a gun, cooked it
and said:
80 I've got you, have I?'
II don't understand your Twain
gasped.
t'Oh, no, Ireckon not Err man never
understands a thing when he don't
wanter. Didn't stop your steamboat
down yander below the bend the other
day an steal sixty sheep that belonged
to me, did you?"
II will swear upon the honor of
gentleman that l did not. | haven't
been in this neighborhood before in
twenty years. p"
set down thar" Twain obeyed.
The old man continued: 1T mOut
have been a good while sense you was
here before the other day, but you got
here just in time to steal them sheep
an I'm goin' ter have your skeIp.
Hear me?"
My dear sir, you are laboring under
frightful mistake. l never owned q
sheep in my life"
mo, l don't reckon you ever did
own one, an mon that, nobody else
amt apt to own nary one whar you
hang out. Vas, sab, come right here
an tuck my sheep an ermong 'em wuz
er pet lamb that my little gran daugh-
ter loves better'n she does her life an
she hain't slep' er wink sense fur
cryin' about it. Oh, you needn't blink,
fur / am goin' ter hold you here till
my little gal comes an then I'm goin'
to blow yo' head off. 1t won't be long
TO she comes an eff you've got any
pra'rs that you reckon oughter be said,
why, you better say 'em, that's all"
''My dear sir"
Don't dear sir me. I've got you,
an I'm goin' ter use you"
but how do you know that l stole
your sheep?"
You know how l know it. You
know that jest ez soon ez you seed me
er comm you showed off, an, mon
that, you know that when l jumped in
d canoe an started ter paddle out ter
you, wy, you shot at me. You know
all that well enough
''Merciful heavensr' Twain ex-
claimed.
''Yas, sab, vas; that's erbout whut 1
lowed, but the boat pulled on away"
A stick snapped outside. Great
heavens!" Twain thought: ''Is the
girl coming?" No, it was only calf.
The expression on the old fellows face
grew harder. There was cruel
twitching about the corners of his
mouth.
''Oh, don't you fret, she'll be here
d'reckly."
My friend" said Twain, with an
effort to be calm, "if you will go with
me over to Arkansaw City will prove
to you that | would not steal sheep"
81 don't want no proof that comes
frum that place. You'd tell lie, an
.hem feliers ever thar would sw'ar ter
it. l see my little gal comm through
yander Ez said jest now, eff you've
got any pra'rs you want said, wy, ! !
reckon you better say EN-"
''Would you commit murder?"
Would you steal Sheep"
Surely not"
''Ah, hall, an sholy wouldn't be
committin' murder by KILN SIGH er
teller ez you air. Don't move now,
fur eff you do I'll drap you. Come,
quick, now, befo' the gal comes, tell |
me eff you know who did steal them
sheep, that is, eff you didn't"
Il think 1 do" Twain quickly re-
joined, and then, remembering the
name of steamboat engineer whom
he had known before the war, he
added: 30 Billings stole your
sheep"
The old fellow looked sharply at him,
and replied:
Air you shOre?"
Il am certain"
"Was you on his boat at the time?"
Yes, and tried to keep him from
stealing them, but could not"
''Will you help me find him?"
Yes"
wall, then, scoot. Quick, befo' the
gal comes"
When Twain reached Arkansaw City,
he found the perpleXed and disap-
pointed committee. He was nervous
and depressed. While he was stand
ing in the office of the hotel, some one
said:
'Mr. Clemens, you used to know 10
Billings, didn't you?"
Twain felt an uneasiness crawling
over him. YES" he replied.
There he is"
Twain looked around and started.