Morning journal and courier., 1889-05-03
LEARN ED.

Learn the 5rick-mason's trade if you wish an occupation in which you can lay up some thing.-Terre Haute Express.
 The London Saturday Review tells of person who was born Gin sort of debatable land between Connecticut and Ohio."
 Centennial Conversation.-"Did you bring a field glass with youa" 'Never thought of that: but we can drink out of the flask, ,''- Life.
 ''The Last of the McAllisters" is not cen tennial novel. It is plain story by Amelia Barr, and that it was issued fortnight ago was merely coincidence.-Life.
 Mrs. Grenoble-"You don't seem to enjoy the ballet as much as you used to, Leopoldp Mir. Grenoble-''No; had all my taste for it kicked out of me long ago."-Judge.
 A Sure Sign.-'tI think saw Mrs. Soribu- Ter this morning." "Why do you think it was she?' ''She was reading Soribuler's ler."-Harper's Bazar.
 Bleacher-What in thunder are they going to have two umpirss for this season!
 Observation-Disclosures, my boyl One umpire does the lying for the home club and the other makes the affidavit to back him up.- Lowell Citizen.
 No Pockets Necessary -Customer-s'How much are those trousers" High priced tailor Twenty dollars, sir. By the way, how
 
 toner (gloomily)-"You needn't put in any," -Clothier and Furnisher.
 Rev. Dr. Wurdleigh-Yes, my only course is to resign.
 Mrs. A.-But why the women of the parish so bitterly opposed to you.
 Rev. Dr.-Because I prayed for rain the Sunday before Esster.-Life.
 Fruit 6ealer-Mrs. Uppertenne, we have some fine blood oranges just arrived; shall I send you some.
 Mrs. Uppertenne-Yes,if if they're nice blue- bloods; the last were just some of those ordi- nary red ones that everybody can get Judge.
 correspondent calls attention to the fact that the President signs his name "Benj. Harrison" and asks how the first name should be pronounced. As "Wilhelmj" is pronounced Benny. If not, why not,- Washington Critic.
 Jones-You should not feel so terribly con- cerning the loss of your dog. It will do no good to mourn over it. Learn to take things just as they come.
 Smith can take things as they come all right, but it breaks me all up to let go of them just as they go. Chicago Herald.
 Aistress-'Has anyone called, Jamesa" "Did she ask for met" Ssrvant-"She men- tioned yer name and described ye as about 40. I said it wasn't you, mum." Mistress "Qnite right. Here's a quarter, James," Servsnt-''Thank ye, mum. I said ye was over 50, num-" Mistress-"James, take months notice. ."-T Time.
 A Proud Moment. -Msgistrste-"Were you ever arrested before, Uncle Rsstusa" Uncle Rastus-"Yes, sah, war rested but war discha'ged; an tell yo', yo'r Honah, dat 1 war nebbah proud in my life as when walked down dat court room free an honor able man." Msgistrate-"Theny you were not proven guilty, Uncle Rastus" Uncle Ras- tus-"No, ssh; dere was flaw in de indict- ment, sah. h."-Harper's Bazaar.
 Foreman of the jury-"Well, how much damages do you think the young man is en- titled -to,' First juryman--"As :! under stand it, he ain't suing for blighted afIec. tions nor anything of that sort, eha Just merely wants to get his money back that he expended for presents, ice cream and the likei" Second juryman1"Ihat,s all:a giving him cent. If the fun he had didn't amount to more than his presents that's his lookout. courted that girl my self, once." ."-Terre Haute Express.