Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-05-01
NYE SHOWS q. ". AROUND.
Triumphs Of Civilization That Impressed the
Parent of His Country Changes That
Astonished Him Postal Orders. Jay

AhHCus u l1A4 OOuutry-CnAntc8 4A~s
AstOnished Him : Postal Orders. Jay
Gould. L Trains and So Forth.
"Good morning" said tall. erect voice yes
terday as the proprietor stepped severely from
a,craft that looked some like stone boat and
some like foundered gondola looking for
veterinary surgeon. The tall gentleman, as he
got out of his boat and moored it to q stone
hitching post at the Battery, looked like Wash
ington just after he had crossed the Delaware
and tied his barge to . tree. and his face had
such general. postage stamp of countenance
that said; Excuse me, sir, but you look
enough like the Father Of his Country to fool
your entire family. May inquire" pursued
In cultivated manner, "what your name is?'
"Fou have guessed my identity at once,
young man." said he. Il am indeed the Father
Of his Country. I addressed you because de-
| sired to ask where I would be apt to fnd
Colonel Thomas P ochiltree."
He most always puts ap at the Hoffman
House, General" said, removing my hat
'and as the sky seems to have 1urid appear
ance in that direction, judge that he is now
| there.'
''And, sir, in the meantime. what might be the
best method of reaching that place? Things are
SO changed since was last here"
I'VE may go via the Broadway cars If we can
1 flag one of them, or we can take the Sixth
Avenue Elevated road to 'Twenty-third street.
as the guard calls it, we can call a keb-
| have akeb--keb-keb? or we can walk Eyethe-
| OF those ways will take US to the Hoffman
House, If persisted in. speak of walking be-
i cause it will afford you chance to see some of
the changes that have taken place since you
/ went away"
Very well, then. will be glad to walk if you
viii attend me, and we will note some Of the
| points of interest,"
At first could hardly realize that was talk
ing with the Parent Of His Country on its
| fathers side, but soon my good breeding and
natural refinement of manner began to assert
| themselves. and was less ratified as we went
along.
| We walked up Broadway slowly reading the
signs as we went on, and pointed out to him
| all the objects of interest, answering his ques-
. aaRa sheeFfHlly Ehsthsr I knew ANYTHING
afHua hiiut1 uf naS. 4ax21STS2 - lRR u uzkaEH
Union building, anu told him all hsSas NJ
Gould, and offered 10 give him letter OF In
PRODUCTION to him If he desired it. Then we
went into the postoffice, and told him how
easy it was to get money order there, and how
difficult it was to get the money on one in
case like his own. Now, for instance, you come
say MY name is Washington-George Wash
ington-and desire to cash a money order
which 1 have Just received from home" The
man says, "You Will have to identity yourself
There are so many Wash1ngtons. The woods
are full of Washingtons, and half of them are
named George. The other half are Martha"
You squirm around and feel the cold perspira-
tion coursing and babbling down your spine
and reluctantly you take a newspaper out of
your pocket and seek to identify yourself by
means of picture, and the man at the window
say, "You did stand some show before. Now
you have injured yourself. You will have to
get several good citizens OF New York to prove
that this is your picture"
Now and then a well-dressed Brooklyn man
came by us on his way to st. Thomas, justly
celebrated church, or a New Yorker went the
fhar k.a- r.. IT,. =
bridge jumper would pass us on his way to his
daily toll; then looking over the rail to see that
he was not in danger of mussing up the ship
ping, he would leap from the structure and dis |
appear with cunning little plunk.
Time has sped no faster than the double |
quick march of improvement" I heard the
white-haired man say, reverently. ITO meet
every great exigency God has put it into the |
heart and brain of man to enter the realms of |
what other ages regarded as the mysterious. |
The courage that swelled the hearts of those |
who fought for you in the war of the Revolu- !
scientist. Peace hath her victories no less than
war. The mighty statue guarding your harbor |
and lighting the returning American to his |
starry and beautiful than ever before, is not |
only an everlasting symbol Of liberty rendered |
by one great nation tc another. but It Is mon |
ument TO the enterprise, the courage and the |
devotion OF the inventor who has caught the |
dangerous light from the tempest and taught it |
TO trim the torch OF liberty" He watched the |
Elevated trains go ont.
We then went to the Tombs Police Court.
The Court was engaged in making:the bark
fly and there was no time for demurrer, rebut-
tails. sur-rebuttals. rejoinder or sur-rejoinder.
There was no argument upon the ruling of the
Court or motions to set aside the judgment or
reopen the case. In the language of Justinian
the defendant was required absolutely and
without argument. to fish, cut bait or go ashore
A gentleman with hot coppers and a moth
eaten crown sheet, accompanied by large jag
of remorse, stood up and took his medicine
plain. He went to bed wealthy, sassy and pow
erful. He awoke penniless, trembly and de-
pressed. Last night it required two policemen
to head the procession and display which he
considered himself. Now little child could
have taken him by the plum colored bugle and
led him away to quiet grave. | introduced
him to a hero Of the CORY baseball field having
. mattress for breastplate.
Everything has changed in New York since
lived here except the quality of the rum, isa1d
the solemn man by my side 'The rum here
was always good for cleaning windows. Let US
pass on"
We strolled up Fifth avenue, seeing good
clothes all along our route. and the ladies and
children never did wear such tasteful and
beautiful clothes as they do this spring. Fifth
avenue with less molodious pavement would
be good and desirable residence quarter Of
the city, and handy enough to stores and post
Office but the noise is as offensive to the ear as
the odor of Hunters Point ever was to the
nose. Some day New York hopes to annex
Brooklyn, Staten Island and Bridgeport, Conn.
Then by assessing the whole thing, Fifth ave-
nue. may be repaved as it should be.
After plain dinner Of horse dovers, patties
De Foy grass ragoots, saddle of Welsh rabbits,
breast of dodo, with accordion plaitings, Pomme
de Terror, dofunny glace and kafey o'Lay,
washed down with Cincinnati sec, with essence
of Old Virginia tobacco and cob pipes, we at
tended the sacred remarks of Faust and
Faust is singing play with sad and searching
passages in it. 1t was quite in contrast with
the sacred concert of 100 years ago, which was
opened with prayer and steel tuning fork.
General Washington declined box and we sat
near the aisle, where people could walk over US
in going out between acts to get their breath.
A great many people went out to get their |
breath and got it. In many instances think ! ,
they would have done themselves no injury il
they had been unsuccessful. If could not go
out for five minutes and get better style Of
retained my seat and the respect of those who
sat near me.
As we went out heard General Washington
say: II would like to stay over tomorrow and
meet my various relatives who will be in town.
I would also like to get front seat at the Me-
tropolitan Opera House, where could see the
too much to pay for seeing President eat, es-
pecially If one has powerful glass. l would
also like to be here and see the mass meeting Of
those whose erandmothers Tilted me. From
press clippings furnished me by the bureau I /
see that when L was not engaged in slumberng
in Continental house in new place or estab- I
fishing headquarters IN new place, was
Deing Tilted by some long-waisted girl !
s "But must not taIry, for see by my bulls
eye watch that by the time I get back to the =
Battery it will be midnight and am then due !
elsewhere, as you must know" Just then !
gentleman from the dangerous ward of the
asylum ran his arm through Georges and !
steered him to an ambulance which stood at I
the door. Icould hear the father of his coun- I
try whoop and butt his head against the inte-
rior as he rode away.
This is the second time have been fooled
that way. Once. years ago, man visited the
Last Chance Mining Camp while was there =
and claimed to be John the Baptist, and before J
snow new the next winter an Omaha paper ex- !
posed the whole thing. The man was not John ,
the Baptist at all.-BiH Nye in the World