Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-10-13

marked capacity for taking care Of number
one and for keeping keen look out for
their own interests. But when it comes to
marriage-the most important con-
tract of their lives-very many
of them show themselves to be
''blooming idiots" of the first order.
A man of this class seeks no sweet, sensible,
intelligent woman for wife who, as con.
genial companion, will give joy to his soul
and make his home s'the resort of love, OF
Joy, of peace and plenty; where supporting
and supported, polished friends and dear
relations mingle into bliss"
CATCHING A TARTAR.
Oh, no. He is charmed by the giddy,
rattling girl, the belle of the ball, the be-
quilting coquette, who slyly angles for him,
or the mercenary, artiul being who only
wants his money and home. He sees not
through their wiles, nor marks the lnslncer-
ity of their smiles. No advice of friend or
warning from relatives makes an atom of
impression upon his mind. Instead OF
going slowly, and taking time to consider
and inquire, instead of waiting until time
shall have tested the strength of love, he
marries and speedily rues his bad bargain,
when he finds that marriage has marred his
life-that instead of wife to his mind he
has caught Tartar-that instead of domes-
tic peace he finds disappointment, neglect,
unhappiness, and realizes to the full that
-as Shakespeare puts it: "War is no strife
to the dark house and detested wife"
Everybody wonders over the wives that
many men marry. A pretty face, perhaps,
or some inexplicable fascination, covers
over with them every defect of character
and education, and then when the awaken
ing comes it is usually ''the woman thou
gavest me'who is held to blame, and is given
as an excuse by the husband for going to
the bad. But such men should learn phil
osophy and patience under nagging wife
as did Socrates, and grow in grace and
goodness as did Wesley under the fire OF
scolding woman's tongue. 1t never pays to
go the bad To make the best of it is the
beginning of wisdom. 1t is fitting that men
should do penance for their own mad folly.
Marriage is lottery, as everybody says,
but the prizes and ideal wives are plenty, If
men would only seek for them where they
are to be found. There are any number of
"maidens whitening upon the stalk, as
Wordsworth puts ii, who would make an
gelic wives, if men in search of them had
only gumption enough to perceive their vir-
tues, but alas the poor tomnoddies go out
into the world and pick up the crooked
sticks.
WOMEN HAVE RIGHTS.
1t is constantly being said that intelligent
women are growing averse to marriage-are
becoming chary of bartering their freedom
and independence for a so-called mess of
pottage. Supposing this to be true, what of
1t? Has woman not the same rightto decide
whether she will marry or live single as a
man? Young women every day take VOWS
OF celibacv in the church and become nuns,
yet no reproach is flung at them, so why
should intelligent women be particularly
assailed if they choose life of single bless
edness? A Boston editor has said that the
marriage rate among men of the better class
has declined owing to the higher
education of women. But If men of
such sort so sadly want ignorant wives
they can very easily find them among the
illiterates, and if the supply should run
short in this country they could draw upon
Italy or Hungary or Kamschatka. Then
again we are told that rich men are grow
ing more unwilling to marry and prefer the
luxuries OF club life without the incum-
brances of wife and children. If all this be
true it only shows that history repeats itself
and that we are getting back to the manners
and fashions of the primitive Christians,
when celibacy was esteemed as the highest
virtue.
But perhaps the chief cause of the unhap-
piness of many marriages may be found in
the remarks of a Cincinnati judge, who said
recently that, when a man gets the idea
that he is a lord of creation and his wife is
the ground he walks on, he can't make a
good husband. 1t is my experience, he
continued, in hearing proceedings for di-
vorce, that
THE AVERAGE HUSBAND
considers the average wife only little above
his domestic. and that his will must be
obeyed or she is made to suffer for it." From
these remarks, coming from learned Judge,
it seems pretty clear that if the average man
will mend his manners in the domestic
sphere he will have much better chance of
happiness, and will have much less reason
to complain of his wife. All women, or at
least most of them. desire above all things a
happy, peaceful home, and if they were
gifted with good sense they would use their
best endeavors to promote it. But alas!
there are some women who use their wits
as do gamblers, sharpers and swindlers,
who prey upon their fellows. When good
man marrles one of these his fate is in
deed pitiable, but he receives as little
sympathy as does the victim Of "bunko
He has married of his own free will and
dear school, but fools will learn in no
other"
MISTAKES OF WIVES.
1t cannot be denied that some wives make
great deal of their own unhappiness. Some
set up standards of righteousness, and if
their husbands do not live up to them, the
poor women are disquieted in their souls,
and feel as if destruction were impending.
They besiege heaven with prayers, and 90
around looking as melancholy as a dilapi-
dated tombstone. These should take note
of the text: ''Be not righteous overmuch."
Others will give man a cold, cherries.
miserable dinner, with perhaps sour bread
and strong butter, on the only day in the
week when he has time to enjoy a good hot
one. Others will CAD about the neighbor-
hood gossipping, with everything at skies and
sevens in their homes in maze of dirt.
They will dress as slovens in dingy, ragged
wrappers, and look like the "old scratch"
as to hair. They become careless in con.
duct, vulgar In speech and disgusting in
manners. Do such as they hope to retain
any husbands love and respect and fond at
enthusiastically vain, dead hope. Such
women foster the saloons, fill the clubs and
crowd the street corners. They are running
their own best interests; they are bartering
happiness for misery; they are laying up
for themselves much tribulation. Their
husbands have hard row to hoe, but, as
Brother Talmage observes, it is "their duty
to bear and forbear, remembering that the
longest life is short and for those unhappily
mated. death will grant quick and complete
bills of enforcement in letters of green grass
written upon quiet graves"
But after ali men are to be held response
BILE for most of the ills and woes of matri-
mony. They have made the laws of mar