Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1889-09-27
A CONFIDENCE COoN.
By Will HUBBARD-KERl7AE.

49, EE AK IN G.
49,. bout conf
dence PEG pI e,
SAID Colonel ShackIe-
s. !: : !" ]: s S. !. !: !.
cone day, sab, old
Aunt hiirandy, one of my fohmer
slaves, was sitting IN the fig-ahbor back
of my house, missing 8 miz'ry In her
1ef laig, as she said, when suddenly
she called OUT
'1Iarse J'romei o, 1[arse J'romeP
Well, what is it?' queIried
ENORMOUSLY, fob hate to be distu' bed
when I'm writing.
sDahs er man out hyar what wants
er jawb, was her ansah.
Il was needing a little whitewRsh-
ing, so I laid my pen on It's rack and
went out to make terms with the ap-
p1icant.
"He must have been seventy-five
veahs old, sab; black as the character
an opposition candidate, sab, and
-~ggeder than the immortal edge of
Avernus, sab.
w ell = questioned.
Haas, sab, boss, wanter jawb.'
What can you do 2
'E'aWhn, clean bosses, mem fences,
whitewash, saw wood, plant trees, take
keer O flowers, scrub hoahs, keep de
balm in Ohdeh, drive, look aftah de
children
But have no children I inteh.
posed.
Look aftah de missus, den.'
But I have no missus Nevah had
! and nevah propose to have
.DassO? Look aftah yo' own self
den,' he added shyly, and with the
/ suspicion Of a tear in his old eyes
What is yo' name, I inquiahed.
'Pompey Fairfax, sab
" What all yO' terms, POmp?'
" Feed n fndin''
" Nothing noah %
" No, marse.'
" well, whitewash that balm, and
then come to me. Considah yourself
as engaged for three months-engaged
| 20 know
Yes, sah,' and he walked off, hap
About seven o'clock that evening, old
Aunt Mirandy imped into my pres.
ence.
a" 'Clar t. gracious, Marse J'rome,
she said, hit beats all how some mig
gahs do eat. Now, dar's dat Pomp. He
done swa1lered Ell hull chicken, an
sebenteen fried Eaters, an fob cOhn
/ pOnes, an twelve aigs, an nine cups er
coffee, an sence suppah he has drank
er quaint o. yer best whisky, an smoked
! eIeben sigyars.'
Great gravyp cried. But per
EoT,g !, fellow hoe 1,ooT, fo7,,Sz1,-
ing.
"At the end of the first week, how
ever, I not only found that my balm
was only half whitewashed, but I found
that the cost of supplying myself and
suhvants with provisions had doubled
to dot.
"I called in old Aunt Mirandy, and
we had a long conference.
." 'Narse J'rome,' she said, Z made
fohty-seben slapjacks fer dat Pomp dis
very mawnin, fried twenty-five aigs,
an used up er half er ham, an he apper-
tie wus not ez frisky ez usual
That settles it, I said. and called
Pomp in.
" Yo' must Ieave,'I Numbered.
4" Nuffer free mOnfs-tw0 mOnfs an
| free weeks noah. Dat was de con
trac'. An IoOlzy heah, boss, mer wash,
bill hain't er done been sittIed yit.
How much is it
!" Seben dollars an two bits.
Why, you black rascal, you have
MT changed dud since you came here.
No; but mer wife an mer twenty
one chilhns, an mer brudders hez
changed, am"
81 threw up my hands in horror.
Name your price, and depart, I cried.
Fawty doIlahs. TaEin' er 'sitiOn
wild you 'uns frew me outer iawb
81 handed the wretch the money.
| He went to the doah and returned.
You'll glib -er-gib me-er-Iet-
/ ter O. commentator p
%, yes! L said, checrfully, and
wrote the following:
FANCY FARM Oct. II. 1855.
/ ITO all J5hOG1 1t mag concern:
This is to certify that the bearer has an
! appetite that has kept my Iarder in a con-
slant state Of bankruptcy since hired i'm;
/ that he believes in u hours a day pay, for
! 80 minutes work; that he is a fraud OF the
first order, who ought to be passed on, with
a kick that would pain a lovely sunset un-
der under his cOut-taiIs.
JEROME SHACKLEFoRD.
"He thanked me and went out. That
was che last I ever saw Of him, but I
heard that the basement Of his panta-
looms was decorated by the mark Of
many a boot befoh he could retiah
from Cuah section of kedntry.
The withdrawing Of my balm cost
me S125.75." And the Colonel turned to
the bar for refreshments and relief.
Fancy and Fact.
An Irishman, waxing eloquent upon