Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1889-08-27

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~ arata ,r of,;n;al,, II was
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AZ. 10. III have r,,cI, ,,ioas,,,.e. 4,
ratot;ng The symn,oms and duiy ra-
,,nr,l;no, tha,o f,,r ~. h.nef;t ~ ~ :. nro.
t'.ss;,.u,, draaged rnyseIf uearilv
hant -, tho >, ;IrnaJ denot hut I f..lt M
,,s,,,,ar tha sIi.,hI..t ;n,.r..s, T., an,,,
,bi,,y that was hannening around me
+ ,,,a- H. tbo ,vorIJ Rat nn I1,ng., ~ ,i,o
,,"rId Not mil had reachcd horne
and retired for the NIGHT did begin n
f.oi tho whole horror of nv Situation
Now II uas the awful uncertairt, ~
RI. kind ~ death / should die that burt
,nc mo.t knew I sbould 4 :, Iinger-
inolv and In the full no-.essjon ~ mo
sa,,sas feeliny the ehI,in., of nv beart-s
nulse and cnnntino mv latest ;,reafI
r., a,v future. etata + had NJ, bnna ~
,u had Lost all h i ef in In. ay;st-
ence nj a bcneficent Creator ba-
Ueved in the doctrine of chance and
Iooked unou the existence. If souI az
nero noetrv and romance feIt ont.
copy;ncad that nothing could ex;st in
deuendent of matter: that height and
dcnth and nm and down. the noin,s ~
the comuass weight : yht and sound
thon1bt it~elf and everv nrincinIo ar
so-caIIed Fundamental trutb. had no
exi.t.nce in the ah.tr ri mr. ..hevo,d
an e,rtb . beIievcd in tba after .x-
SCIENCE for tbe merely material mart nj
my body h,tt thar would ne .ubi,,nary
Matter can not die. I reasoned and r
shall live aoain-Iiye AGAIN in the suo-
MA. In he dew that distils from tbe
clouds live again in frees in tio,vers
and perhans in some other form If
animal life ard here amid all mv
glno,nv .neculatious. came the ridic,,-
Ion. tfo,yht. II sbouldn.t Ike To he ;,
centi,,ede' thouoh nor a beetle nor
anything creepy. For what was
Iife hut cbanoep What was CHANGE b,,t
nation the result Of force. force heat
in another formp And what was beate
so | scared away. and got lost in the
realms of the abstruse. But it will be
thus seen that there was no alteration
OF intellect no wandering of halucina-
ton. The brain wa. clear, though in
high state of eNaltation, and nv rea-
son was similar 10 and the conclusions
arrived at the same as those OF many
schools OF philosophy-mota those
OF Germany. And now there began to
dawn in my mind feeling from which
| at first reroiled with horror. | con-
stantly saw in the distance the dread
necessity of suic de. for the time
knew would soon come when could
bear no more. A further source of
comfort to me my medical ADVISER had
given me a little book. of which he was
the author-a book on disease of the
right side ofthe heart. and which de-
scribcd very infinitely the different
modes of exit from th world specially
prepared for the poor wretches so al
( iiicted This book was bible to me for
many DAYS. The easiest style seemed
| to be to live all your life with contn-
ual eongestive headache. and expire
some fine morning in tit. Thea the g
was sudden death by heart cramp or
paral sis. Oh. il wa, merry volume,
/ For the first fortnight in December
meyer less than live. drains of the nv
lrdfr OF yHlpral was nv niOnttN dose.
From the me arose. in th,. morning
my sufierings were extreme. | hal
T now lost all mower of reading. writing
or speaking aloud. any attempt to do
either was excruciating brain agony.
and If persevered in falnung followed.
L could hardly move my head from the
/ pillows or sit erect, while my eye,
seemed starting from their sockets II
attempted to walk. But toward night
well. # all of mental. all OF bodily
suffering / ever have endured in my
fe could be compressed into one hour
it would not exceed the torment ther
underwent. Every VEN m my body
seemed swollen to double the size and
indamed along the whole length, while
the re~tleSSme's was so distressing thu
| could not lie for hive minutes IN any
one position Add to this that time
seemed Indefinitely long minutes a
hours and hours a. days and You VII
have some FAINT notion OF mY eNperienc'
OF the grand remedy for sleeiies>nes'
that had no after effects.
Then came a day when my landladl
took fright and went OF her own aceo
for medical man tn come and Zee me
WAS worse that day than ever ! ha'
been. Tbs gent eman har i!N >to' re