The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1889-11-09
HOW T0DDLES PROPOSED.

Mr.. Toddles arose one morning in q
very melancholy mood. 1t was lns
forty fifth birthday. and he was still 9
bachelor.
Time is flying, he said. youth has
gone. l have nothing to look forward
to but miserable single life at board.
Ing house. Why have never married.
1t is too late now"-
"Toddlesl you IMP cried voice at the
door, II want to consult YOU"
Come Income in," replied Toddles,
and the door opened to admit tall gen.
tlem;n, with head like the popular
portraits Of Shakespeare and a beard
which he trimmed in the way best cal
cuated to impress the likeness on all be-
holders.
He wore very snowy little smoking
jacket and cap to match, and carried
in his hand roll of manuscript and a
stylographio pen. He looked what he
was-a literary man. His serials, which
were Of the most romantic sort, were
read with avidity by all the young la
dies who subscribed for The Weekly
Gushsr or who bought it at the stands or
tationers' stores or borrowed it of their
neighbors. His heroes were never more
than two and twenty; resembled, ao-
cording to description, the wax figures
with which hair dressers decorate their
windows; smoked constantly; rolled up
their eyes continually; and all possessed
silk night gowns and slept on silken pill
lows, and put rare perfumes on their
handkerchiefs and decorated their but
tonholes with hot house plants, and had
only to double their fists and shake them
at any other man in order to make him
fall as fiat as the walls of Jericho. In
fact, they were even mixtures of The
Apollo Belvedere and the dandy of the
time OF The Spectator, with some Of the
stuff that goes to the making Of the hero
of the modern prize ring. However,
tho girls liked them, and many a mar
ried dame sighed over the romances and
wished that her prosaic John was more
of that pattern.
Good morning, Toddles, old fellowf"
said Mr.. Sparkle, genially. "Here I
am, coming for advice again! When
ever want genuine advice come to
you. You have literary taste. It's a
confounded pity that you are rich, Tod
dles-you'd have made your mark with
your pen else. Well, you'll advise mer'
II shall be delighted, I'm sure" said
Toddles-"delightedi But you fiatssr
me-"
mot at ALL" responded Mr.. Sparkle.
Breakfast is not ready yet; I'll Just
read this to you, if you don't mind. Tve
taken a new departure in this sentative
introduced an old fellow"
How oldY' asked Toddles.
Thirty" responded Sparkle "almot
thirty"
Now, I call that young" said Toddll 4.
"Of course it is, in real life,r 81 Id
Sparkle. Forty is young, to all intents
and purposes. But literary age il very
different 1t would blast an authors
reputation to make heroine out Of her
teens or hero out of his twenties. This
30-year-older is an old bachelor who has
long adored certain lady, and remains
for her sake. She is going
down into the vale of years-fve-and.
twenty Of 'em-a spinster for love OF
him. Neither guesses the love of the |
other-good point, chr
Very" said Toodles.
"Now, the question is" said Sparkle, |
whether to unite them or to have her |
confess her love for him beside his death |
bed"
"The latterl" cried Toddles, enthusi-
"But have him recover after
all, and then marry 'em."
o.-l-l In ufa TOD III
dies hand.
Magnificent" he said. "You always
have original ideas"
He sat down at Toddles' desk and be-
gan to lance his stylogrsphic pen into
the air in furious manner highly sug-
gestive of delirium tremens. However,
Toddles was not alarmed; he knew that
he was only getting his pen into work
ing order.
"Ahl' he said, as drop of ink sp-
peared at the point Of the instrument,
'hore we are at lastF' He jotted down
\ memorandum, and then wheeled
about. "Let nae read you this" he said;
II think you will like it.. Ny hero is
Observation-Disclosures that he 10 de-
,laring his love--ahemr and Mr.. Sparkle
pushed his smoking cap to the back Of
mis- head, smoothed his 6hskespearean
beard with his hand and began;
Beloved one Nay, start not; long
nave called thee so in my SOUL"
sis he a Quaker inquired Mr.. Tod
lies
mo, no; always use thee and thou
or strong love passages, replied Sparkle.
'See?"
"oh. yes" replied Toddles. "Hcw
Itupid Of mol"
mot at ALL" said Sparkle. Let me
zee; Beloved one Nay, start not; long
rave / called thee so In secret. Have not
ny eyes revealed TO thee the tale my
ongue refused to utteri Hast thou not
guessed that my heart lay at thy feet
Nay, cruel one, thou turnest from me.
should l ask thee TO be mine scorn
would be my portion. And yet, how
an live without theeH Alasi alasi
lasP
"What do you think of itT'
"It's very touching" said TOddles.
do you know, l should like TO confide in
-ou"
"Do it, do it, my dear. dear FRIEND"
aid Mr.. Sparkle.
"Sparkle, has 1t ever come into your
mind that l have a secret woel" said
roddles.
"Well, it has" replied Sparkle. I've
leard you groan.,"
''The woe" said Toddles, sis connected
With a lady"
81 thought So" said Sparkle. .'Is she
"No, no." said Toddles. "no; but there
5 coldness In her manner that has pre- )