San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1889-02-08

A Preacher Relates His Experience-The
Ceremony from First to Last Is Full of
Pitfalls for the Unframed - The Old
Folks Made a Mistake.
Some ludicrous errors committed by agi
tated and absent minded pairs as they stood
before the altar are related by preacher in
Chambers Journal:
Timothy Duggan was stevedore perhaps
six feet two in height and proportionately
broad He appeared as a bridegroom, the
bride was charming young person Of tender
years All went well until the moment came
for Timothy and his bride to give their troth
to each other in the prescribed manner.
"Say after me-" said | to Timothy, 81,
Timothy
There was no response.
"Say after me-" repeated the parson, 81,
Timothy
Timothy was still silent, puzzled look
creeping over his broad face.
"Say after me-" said for the third time,
with, perhaps, shade of annoyance.
AFTER you, sir, responded Timothy, with
the politest possible duck of his bullet head
But this indifference to the rubric is so
great that upon the injunction, place the
once seen the bridegroom clap it upon the
third finger of his own hand with all the com,
placency in the world Once | detected a
bridegroom endeavoring to force the ring on
to the brides thumb; but there was Just sus-
picion that he had been making merry before
coming to church that morning. The same
excuse could not be offered for bridegroom
from whom l could get no word of response,
becoming most embarrassing, when the soil
tary bridemaid-hiss ister-casualy observed:
''E's little ard of earring, sir" The man
was stone deaf yet they had not thought it
necessary to tell the parson. If the bride
groom understood not word Of the service,
what did it matterl
TWISTING THE RESPONSES.
But the marriage service from first to last
is full of pitfalls for the unlearned man. In
some cases it becomes painfully clear that the
contracting parties recognize but few Of the
words they are hidden to say, and merely i'm
itate the sound with such accuracy as their
imperfect knowledge will permit The words
Ito have and to hold" ought to be simple
enough, but, as a matter Of fact, they are the
subjects Of some astounding blunders. | re-
member one bridegroom who had brought
very charming young bride to church, and
perhaps regarded her as a thing of beauty to
be in his home joy forever, rendering ito
have and to hold" as Ito have and behold"
Another, who possibly had some cause to
dread the fate of Mr.. Caudle, struck out an
entirely new version, and faithfully promised
Ito have and to be told" ITO love and to
cherish" is another frightful stumbling block.
ITO love and be cherries" was the nearest tc
the original Of many variations popular
among the males Of that parish The brides
were happy with the familiar rendering, "tc
love cherries and to bay" Goods holy ordi.
nance" tripped up many Holy orders" was
convenient, and perhaps conveyed the most
meaning. plight thee my troth" and give
thee my troth" were, l imagine, words of
foreign sound, and l well remember one
young person, who was wedding a most vii
famous looking fellow, changing her senti-
ment into thereto give thee my throat"
There was, perhaps, an unconscious prophecy
wrapped up in that promise.
The words accompanying the delivery of
the ring are, as everybody knows, the subject
of some characteristic blunders ! never
heard some of the more elaborate distortions
credited to countrymen, but our people nobly
distinguished themselves over the clause
with all my worldly goods | thee endow"
They never blundered so aptly as the fortune
hunter who, in wedding an heiress, unwit-
tingly said, with all my goOdly words thee
endow;" they were content to produce a
similar sound with sublime indifference to
sense. ~ thee and thou, :" Il thee do bow"
81 thee allow" were the most popular of
these versions.
A CLOSE CALL FOR BIGAMY.
But nothing more clearly indicates the utter
lack of intelligence with which some of the
poor regard the service Of the church than
the fact that once upon a time | came upon
youthful curate solemnly and devoutly
marrying the father of bridegroom to the
mother Of his bride in the presence Of their
own proper partners The discovery was
brought about in this way. 1t was Christmas
morning, a great time for weddings since
Boxing day then remained for the honey
moon. Seven or eight couples had given
notice, and the congregation was large
While one curate registered the couples in
the vestry another married them in
succession with such expedition as a
slight stutter would permit. The old
parish clerk, with his list of names,
called up the high contracting parties as the
turn of each came. superintended the
whole proceedings. In the vestry were two
young people being registered whose names
were, let us say, Jones and Smith Coming
around to the Chancel again one was a little
surprised to find the old clerk inquiring
among the congregation for Mr.. Smith aRd
m