davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The national leader., 1889-04-20
A Clergyn.an's Joke:

l was spending the night in hotel
in Freeport, Illinois. After breakfast
1 went into the sitting room, where I
met pleasant chatty, good humored
traveller, who like myself, was waiting
for the express from Galena. We con-
versed freely on various subjects until,
seeing two young ladies meet and kiss
each other on the street, the conversa-
tion turned on kissing, just about the
time the train was approaching.
Gomez said he, taking up his car
pet bag, ''Since we are on so sweet a
subject let us have practical appl1ca-
tion, I'll make proposition to you,
I'll agree to kiss the most beautiful
lady in the cars for Galena, you being
the judge. if you will kiss the next
prettiest, 1 being the judge"
This proposition staggered me lit
tie, and could hardly tell whether he
was in earnest or in fun; but, as he
would be as deeply IN it as could be,
I agreed, provided he would do the
first kissing.
eyes, said he, 'I'll try it first.
You take the back car, going in from
the forward end, where you can see the
faces of the ladies, and you stand by
the one you think the handsomest, and
I'll come IN from behind and kiss her."
had hardly stepped inside the car
when l saw at the first glance one of
the lovelieSt looking women my eyes
ever fell on. A beautiful blonde, with
auburn hair, and a bright, sunny face,
full of love and sweetness, and radiant
and glowing DIS the morning. Any
further search was unnecessary. 1 i'm
mediately took my stand in the aisle by
her side. She was looking out of the
window eagerly, as if expecting some
one. The back door opened, and in
stepped my hotel friend, 1 pointed my
finger at her slyly, never dreaming that
he would dare to carry out his pledge.
and you may imagine my horror when
he stepped up behind her, and, stoop-
ing over, kissed her with relish that
fairly made my mouth water.
l expected, Of course, shrek Of
terror, and then row generally; but
astonishment succeeded astonishment
when I saw her return the Kiss with
compound interest.
Quick as flash, he turned to me and
said, Nov, Sir, it is your turn" point
ing to hideously ugly old woman in
the seat behind.
80, you must excuse me-you mustl"
l exclaimed. ''I'm sold this time.
But do tell me whom you've been KISS
ing2.'
"Well," said he, ''since you are a
man of so much taste, and such quick
perception, I'll let you off," And we
all burst into hearty laugh, as he said,
"This is my wife; I've been waiting for
her. l knew it was safe proposition.
He told the story to his wife, who
looked tenfold sweeter as she heard it.
Before reaching Chicago we ex-
changed cards, and 1 discovered that
my genial companion was popular
Episcopal clergyman of Chicago, whose
name l had frequently heard. When
ever L 90 to Chicago, 1 always go to
hear him, and a heartier, more natural
and eloquent preacher is hard to find.
He was then young man; he is now
well-known as one of the ablest divines
of his denomination in the West.
The national leader., 1889-04-20

IT is said that woman who died
near New Castle, Pa, ashort time ago,
after having spasms, that when she was
child she had been bitten by cat,
and regularly thereafter with the ap-
proach of spring queer blotches would
appear on her face, and she would have
SDaSmS.
The national leader., 1889-04-20

THE German Crown Prince, who is
now six years old, is kept so close to
study that some people say he is in
danger of losing all his mental facul-
ties.
The national leader., 1889-04-20

A grain of prudence is worth pound
Of craft.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03
To Hiss or LOT 10 r.iss2

Theatrical managers and theatar-goers in
several Of the large cities are discussing the
question whether or not Kissing should be in
treduced into the theaters. Very likely the
discussion grew out of the action of a Chi
cago audience which recently Kissed Kyrls
Bellew. The Kissing in that case, however.
was wholly unco Inected with the play.
The discussion has taken wide scope and
relates to the play, the manner in which 1t
is presented and 70 the actors.
The managers are almost, if not quite,
unanimous in the opinion that Kissing
should rot be introduced. They admit the
right of audiences TO hiss, aad Of course
they acknowledge that sbilant moastra-
ton is very common in E rope, but they do
not think it should be introduced here a
they give some very good reasons for this
opinion. They say that Kissing is sign
of ill breeding; that ma Ia gers, actors or
others interested in preve ting a reall Y
meritorious play from becoming a success
might employ people to hiss it off the stage;
that it would create disorder. aud that it
would make actors so nerv-
GUS on the occasion of the
introduction of new play, that they could
do neither themselves nor the play justice
In England, they say, Kissing is confined
almost exclusively TO the pits, and on ac-
count Of the inclination of certain classes to
hiss upon the slightest provocation, new
plays are first tried at the matinees
The theater-goers do not seem disposed to
adopt the practice. They think tn 1T the
occasions for Kissing are very rare, if there
is ever an occasion for it.
There are many plays and actors that
deserve TO receive some mark of disappro-
baton, but Kissing would hardly be the
proper thing. The American custom of
leaving the theater if tue play or the act
ing is not satisfactory, or is really offensive
to refined tastes, is very good one, but
probably better one would be for the
audience to remain seated until the per
formance was over, so as not to create con-
fusion, and to remain away afterward whe l
the same play was on the boards, or when
Objectionable actors took part This would
be not only more dignified but probably
more effective in Kidding the stage Of often
sive features
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03
ne Old CAPITOL Binding.

Il IS proposed 70 ask the Legislatures 20
lease the old cap ol building % the Con
Tolerate Veterans Association Of Pal On
county at a nominal sum for the term Of
twenty years. Il l. understood that tie
ASSOCIATION will agree 70 spsod a. least
5000 a year in collecting portraits Of d-s-
tInguished confederate, relics Of the war
and Library Of var literature. Il VIII also
IL up rooms a the building for a wsyside
home where destitute confederate veterans
may Be taken care Of temporarily, and, at
the expiration Of the lease, viii turn the
property over % the state
Inc Props ton OF ths ass 1ciation appears
% b one that VIII mmead itss.f % tae
legislature. There does not seem % Be any
strong argument azzins. IL The lsgis,a-
ture probably expected to sell the property,
and apply the proc Cd, 70 tns payment Of
the state deot The amount which the
building would bring, however, would not
90 very far to~a'd Lquidating tie dsot.
There ought T. BE- some such institution
IN Georgia as that proposed by the Fulton
County Confederate Veterans Association,
and 1t woul1 not be a. all surprising IL tle
proposition OF the as ociatioa should be re-
garded BY the legislature with favor.
There are grea, many war relics scattered
throuZ bout the state which will be lost if
they are not collected ia a public institu-
ton, and placed unfer the care Of some one
appointed % ok after them.
The south is sadly deficient in literature
giving her side Of the story of the war.
The proposed Institution would encourage
the writing Of war history and the colIec-
ton Of many war incidents Of historical
value The i stitution would become in a
short time place Of great interest, and
would be tue resort Of Georgisns when
visiting the capital Of the state.
The state can well afford 70 lease the
building for the purpose named. 1t would
receive greater benefits from it than if it
were sold and tue money used 70 liquidate
the debt. The Fulton County Confederate
Veterans Association is apparently very
much in earnest with respect to the pro-
posed undertaking, and if its proposition
should be accepted the probab lities are that
at the end Of twenty years the state would
come into possession Of avery interesting and
valuable collection Of war relics, and great
deal Of war literature of inestimable value.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03
BRIGHT BIS

AS the butcher adds his hand 70 the weight
OF the steak be piously signs TO himself, 4
i9Ve 10 Steal awhile, a weigh. n-EtOrida
Tunes.
NAN in strange village reads slgn-"Ask
your druggist TOR t'-rerects a moment and
says with grin: An, / see. a prohibition
town '-Iec1s S(liaos.
TINrD YOUTH have a poem, and want to
SEE the editor.
once Boy-The editor is busy. I'll do Just
as well am on my way to the waste basket
now.-JudGe.
CAKE AND Customer Waiter, bring me
halt poTu9u Of cake with the ices
"aiter-Ne don't have half portions but l
can arrange It sOyou won't have any TOO much
-BoSton Bedcon.
WIFE (,nphatically)-Did you say marriage
was faures
married man doesn't have TO say what he thinks.
does he:- Washington Critic.
MRs- JAwKTSs (Of New York)-If that do,
next door doesn't stop barking all night. M
complain TO the police
Mr.. JawkI S lin a terrified undertone) -Sh
Iammany :-Puck.
ONE CRIME USTRIED.-'That is strikeman
over there. There Is not a crime In the calendar
That man has I committed -
indie I'd. He looks surprisingly well for one
who has committed suicide Don't you hink
so:' -Hdrper's Bdzdr
"HURRY 70 the door. Mary, and let Mr.. Smith
in. He has rung twice 50
That isn't Mr.. Smith; it is the other young
gen leman."
Well wait minute then. must change the
photographs on the nantel. Life
At the big spring near Fort Decatur the
governor Of Alabama said 10 the governor OF
Iennes ee, Il can say to you what the gov
ernor Of south Carolina said 70 the governor
Of North Carolna-blt it will be cold water. -
They smiied.-h0Htg5m Advertiser
A CHICAGO PAPER SAYS that Gentlemen do
not sit down 70 tasir meals ia tn sir sh irts" II
is queer freak OF etiquette that compels A
gentleman TO remove his shirt before sitting
down 10 his meals, and it is do btful if the
fashion OBTAINS outside of ChicaSo.-Norris.
tOl0R Herald.
JONI HENRY, you come right into the house
this instant" shouted the irate mother, a. she
hung herself halfway out of an upper story
window.
"Ma-am!"
You come right here to me-"
What d'jou says
Come in tne h 'nse: IN be out there myself
after you in a minute"
DO you want Ine!h
Yes want you, and you'd better come
riyht away"
What djou sayf''
The window went down with slam and nv
the time feminine form was half way ont OF
the door Johnny was serenely engaged in a
gam OF mumblety peg several blocks distant
Merchant Traveller.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03
Chauncey NJ. Depew's Double.
From the chtcaao Trtoune.

The resemblance between Chauncev NJ. De
pew the distinguished Nv York abroad presi-
dent and statesman, and Adam Fo epau Ii. the
circus king, Is wonderfully str king. and Brother
Cnauncey is frequently mistake for Brother
Adam and vice versa. This similarity has led 70
a number of iudlcrous mist axes
Last winter, while Forepaugh's big show was
in winter quarters in Phil tdepha, one of the
baby elephants was rented OUT to the man.
agement of an opera company, il being utilized
u give rea m 10 an o. iental seene. The opera
company closed its season the latter part of
March ana the baby elephant was shipped back
to Pnlla 1elphia IN char e OF the agent of the
company. The elephant was LETT in the car and
the agent went down town to the Cont entail
hotel. where he mad made an app1 ntment by
mail to meet Mr.. Forepaugh whom ne knew and
la irequeIu met.
Brother Chauncev happened to be at the no.
tel at the time. He had been invited over to
Philadelphia to a dinner given by the famous
Clover CLUB, ana when the opera C ompanv's
agent entered he was standing near the desk
taking to one of the clerks. Toe GENT in
stantiy spotted him for Brother Adam
GOOD morning." he said, I'm glad to see
you"
Delighted, I'm sure" answered Brother
Chauncey, with puzzled look on his face. as
though trying to remember wAere he had seen
the agent.
"lou got my letter, OF course?''
'No-yes--wel, no, l can't say that did. -
and the puzzled look deepened on Brother
80, well,' SAID the agent, sit doesn't make
any difference-the bahy's here''
"The-baby 's--here?'
Why, yes; it arrived this morning. What
shall l do with it,"
do with what:"
"Why, the baby"
What oaby?"
The baby elephant"
A light broke over Brother Chauncey's face.
My dear fellow" he said, whom do you take
me forl"
For Adam Forepaugh.''
Pr.cr bar e.
Cesar ne exclaimed. that's the fourth time
I've been mistake for Mr.. Forepaugh since I've
been IN Philade phIa, and in every town strike
have at least oIe experience of the Kind. Nv
names Depew-Im Chauncey Depew"
Then they both laughed, aud the agent went
off 70 find the real Mr. Forepaugh
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03
They Jailed the Bet q Draw.
From he Nel0 YORK Tribune.

From the NelC York Tribune.
a southern colonel and a northwestern ranch
owner 10 med part Of a Lit lie knot of men who
were enjoying themselves around table in the
Hoffman house cafe the other night. e con-
versati N turned upon the resources of the new
south and the colonel said: New industries
are springin2 up there every day, ! tell you.
Even the darby boys and girls are learning to
be industrious since they find il pays them
One of the latest wrinkles they have caught on
to Is the gathering OF gopher eggs in Florida
d the Utner Cuff states. whic sell readily
and find their way into many palatable dishes
IN n rthern restaurants.
Come, now, CO oael. said the ranch owner.
draw it mild on US; Gopher eggs-eggs, you
know Ha. ha! That's good"
Il don't understand you, sir, " said the colonel
rather netted. You evidently take what I
said for joke"
We'll, that was natural, l am sure, colonel -
was the reply. 4 would not offend 20 for the
world; bus gophers' eggs, you know-Hai ha
Why, gophers don't lay eggs You must be
thinking Of something else. -
4 enerally know what I am talking about
sir, snapped the soutt erner, and | am not ac-
customed to being told that l do not. I'll bet
you ten to one that gophers lay eggs, and that I
have eaten them myself -
No. Done with you, said the ranch owner,
a stakeholder vas appointed and dictionary
sent for. The referee turned to the word and
read Gopher, a little burrowing animal of
the genus PSeu ioStoma-a pOuched rat com
There cried the ranch owner what did I
tell you? I've known EN- al my lie, and guess
no one ever saw a rat lay eggs. That's my
mon"
Hold on" said the referee" wait for the
second definition and he continued to read:
"A species Of burrowing Observation-Disclosures
Carolinus-habitat, the southern parts of North
America
Great Scott! Is that soy' cried the West
erner. Colonel beg your pardon I never
knew that gopher was anything but pesky
little ground rat. The moneys yours"
Well" replied the colonel, 4 never knew
that gopher was anything but a no-account
turtle; so Wen call it draw, and you can open
wine for the party"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03
RDEX TO NEW ADyERTSENENIl

MEErrxGs-Golden Rule Lodge No. ~, L o. 0.
E; Notice Of Public Nesting Of Citizens; The
Equitable Loan and Building Association; Of
the Remaining Members Of the Old Werner
book and Ladder Company; Marine Engineers
Association No. IS; Division No I, Ancient
Order Of Hiberniaus
SPECIAL NOTICES Notice 70 Water Takers;
Pineapples etc, Kavsnaugh & Brennan; Soft
Peaches, L. Putzel; Telephone lO7, Joyce's
Market.
AMUsExEsTs-The Fords in the Galley
Slave Tonight; Fourth Of July Races al
Tybee; Pools on Fourth Of July Races at Tybee.
STEAMSHIP ScHEDCLE-Ocean Steamship Com
pAny.
FoR BEArFoRT-Steamship Mary Draper
every Friday at O'Clock q m
FIRE NOTICE.. J. Miller & Co.
LEsAL sALE-Partitioners' Sale.
LEGAL SOTIcE-App ication for Leave 70 Sell.
FoR WARsAw-Stsamer Mary Draper, July I.
CHEAP CJLUAS ADvERrIsEzENrs II p
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale: Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03

The Morning News for the Summer.
Persons leaving the city for the summer
can have the MoRsIyG NEWS forwarded by
the earliest fast mails 70 any address at the
rate Of p cents week, 81 for a month or
e. 80 for three months, cash Invariably in
advance. The address may be changed as
often as desired. In directing a change
care should be taken TO mention the old as
1ceU as the netC address.
Those who desire to have their home
paper promptly delivered to them while
away, should leave their subscriptions at
the BUSINESS OFFICE.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03

Citizens II this county. outside Of the
city. who are entitled 70 = vote on the ''nO
fence issue to-day, vii, II is be ievsd
very generally cast their ballots. In this
city. however, there spp-srs % Be- coasid-
cradle apathy with respect 20 the eiectio q.
Only those who desire free pasture for their
cows seem 70 Be taking al interest in it
II voters who have No direc. interest in
the election remain away from the polls
thsT i'll make a very serious mistake. The
question % Dc decided is very important
che, and one IN which nearly every cit.zsa
has sonsthilg az stake The MORNING
SEEsshs ppinred o1t u ne and time again
since this iss1s came into prominsnce tl4t
the Improvement Of the county. outside Of
the city, means the Improvement Of the
city.
If the necesdty for fencing the crops is
removed the greater part Il the cultivaols
lands of the county viii soon be under cul-
tigation. In proportion as the lands are
cultivated tho health Of the county viii
improve, because the lands will be
drained. What drainage " Il do for health
has already been quite satisfactorily demon
done in the vicinity Of this city within the
last few years.
II the available lands Of ths county are
placed under cultivation they VIII almost
supply the markets Of the city 1ith fruits,
vegetables, poultry, eggs and butter. The
Consequence will Be that the cost Of living
In this city will be greatly reduced. One #
~ ~ Of iEjr in fa
city Is now 50 great is that 50 many articles
nee1ed to supply the markets are brought
from points outside the county.
From these brief statements it will be
seen that the interest Of the city people in
the election is almost, if not quite, as great
as that 0. the country people. Besides the
benefits 10 be derived from better he 9TH
conditions and cheaper food articles, there
IS the local trade which the city will euj y.
If the county becomes settled with thrifty
farmers toe volume Of this trade will be
greatly increased.
Another thing that should not be over
looked is the change which the mo fence"
law will cause in the appeara CO Of the
county. Now the greater part Of the county
is almost W lderness. II the mo fence" law
IL adopted the forests and swanps will dis
appear; in their places there will be truck
farms and orchards, and the roads win be
50 improved that ii will be a pleasure 10
travel upon them.
Lat all who can vote on the pending issue
do 50. and lot them bear in mind, in casting
their ballots, that the mo fence" la W means
progress and prosperity and that the defeat
OF that Law means the moving along in the
same old ruts. Let US unite in making d
strong effort in behalf Of the "no fence
law. Those who vote for the law will have
occasion to rejoice that they did SO if the
result is in favor Of it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03
Where Shall We summer Itp

This is an important question, both to the in.
valid and pleasure seeker.
Bowden Litha, Georgia's wonderful Mineral
Spring probably offers the very best advauta yes
TO Doth the health and pleasure seeker.
Only twenty miles from Atlanta situated di-
rectly on the Georgia Pacific railroad Trans
several times daily; full mail and telegraph
accommodations A magnificent hotel: Hot
Springs system of bathing. The finest mineral
water IN the world; cool mountain air, and the
great Piedmont Chautauqua holding ils summer
session there this season, make it especially at
tractive.
Send your name to z. w. Marsh & Co., Salt
Springs, Ga, and they will send you an illus
trated pamphlet on this great health and pleas
ure resort
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03

Ex-senator Jones, of Florida, writes to
the New York World, under date of June
%, that "for the first time in long. long
year, he is now in the possession of COM
plete health, and after making this state
ment he shows, unfortunately, that it
is his physical rather than his mental health
that is god. Senator Jones friends should
really restrain him from writing letters to
the press. He is in condition to be pitied,
and it is too bad for him to be allowed to
expose himself to the shafts of merciless
critics.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03

The longest examination of a witness or
record, so far as is known, is reported from
Newark, y. j. The case was that of the
State against the Morris aud Essex Rail
road Company for back taxes. and the wit
ness was Richard f. Stevens, who exam
ined the company's books. He began tc
give his testimony two years ago and fil-
ished giving it the other day. He was on
the witness stand two hours each week,
and the testimony, when printed, will fill
three large volumes. The case involves
about 81, 100000.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03

A man named Graham completed a con-
trivance the other day which, he claimed.
would take people safely over Niagara
Falls. He called it a life barrel, and he
thought all that one had TO do was to get
into the barrel and be carried over How
ever. he concluded to see if the barrel would
go over safely without person inside of it,
and he was grieyed to find that it would
not. After the trial, all that he found of it
was few slaves. Still, Graham does not
despair He thinks be will get a "life bar
rel" that will make the trip over the falls a
pleasant event for the person inside of it.
The question arises. why should anybody
be anxious to go over the falls, and why
should a strong man consume valuable time
in trying TO construct ''life barreln for
taking people overl
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03

From the Youths Companion
Fifty years aro tie famous surgeon Of Lon
Goa was Sir Ashley Co0per- He Eas remarkable
Tor us manual dexteritT. All also for the
qulcEDeSs and &C uracy WIrh which a. q glance
ne took II The whole situation 4 striking proof
q MS peoeLration vas glFea On his beng called
% attend Z Mr. Blight Who had ben s10t oy
an unknown ASSASSIN
he moment Sir ashley examined the wound
he said a pistol has been fred AZ you with
the left hand .
On seeing =. Patch Blight's partner. he was
80 STUCK " the Iecular EXPRESSION Of MS
colntenance Z a. he vi spared. II thar gen
LEHMAN Sas lsit-han6ed. should SUSPECT him
Of bang the murderer
Fatch vas lett-ha adsd and on being tried
an condemned. confessed his guilt
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03
a Great Battle

Is continually going On in thu human
system. The demon of impure blood
strives to gain victory over the constitution.
TO ruin health, to drag victims TO tba
a good reliable medicine like Hoods Sar,
saparilla is the weapon with which To ia.
fend ones self, drive the desperate enemv
from tie field, and restore peace and bodiiv
health for many years. Try this pecnliay
medicine. FeOuAiS'l
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-07-03

A Washington correspondent says that
Senator Chandler's true character was very
well shown when the news Of John NJ. CLAW.
toms assassination was received in Wash
ington. 1t was told to Chandler by south
era republican congressman, and, instead
of expressing regret that Clayton had been
killed, Chandler smiled gleefully and ex-
claimed, IAN Their splendid chance for US
to make political capital at the expense of
the south" This story may not be true
it is to be hoped that it is not; but Chan
dler's fanatical course with regard to south
ern politics would seem to Indicate that
it's