Morning journal and courier., 1889-03-21
WRITTEN.

A Frank Estimate--Better to be a loan than in bad company was not written of our umbrella-Life.
 Little Johnnie-Were you made of dusta
 Merritt-Yes, my boy: but have little of it now.-New York Sun.
 The highest office in the gift of the Presi- dent is that of postmaster at Mineral Point, Col It is 12,000 feet above the sea level.- Norristown Herald.
 A Georgia man committed forgery be- cause starvation stared him in the face, and then starved himself because the forgery stared him in the face.-Hutchinson (Kan. News.
 Reason for Narrying.-"So, in spite of all your previous resolutions, you are going to marry?" "Only out of revenge. My best friend has just married and did not invite me to the wedding. I will be revenged. D. Fliegende Blatter.
 A New York lawyer named Doolittle once unwittingly entered into partnership with 8 brother barrister named Steele, but a lack of clients soon became painfully noticeable. and it was found advisable to dissolve, the name of the firm proving too suggestive to pros- pective pstrons.-The Epoch.
 Visitor (to great showman)-Mr. Slowpaw, you ara not advertising any $10,0O0 beauty this year, are you?
 Great showman-No; can't buck against the combined ill will and jealousy of all the restaurant cashiers in the country.-Chicago Tribune.
 Little Alice-And did Solomon know more than anybody who was ever in the world, papaa
 Papa (theughtfully) Well, I guess he knew more than anybody ever met except, perhaps, your sixteen-year-old brother Jack. Citizen.
 Mrs. Ontwit Creading paper)-There, now! Dr. Howard Crosby says if there were only men on the stage, men would not go to the theater.
 Mir. Ontwit-Well, perhaps if there were only women in the pulpit, women would Tot go to church.-Puck.
 His Present-A Sweet Girl-'fMother, George told me solemnly that that pretty hairpin holder he gave me cost five dollars yet to-day I saw exactly the same kind on sale for ten cents" Mother-"You know, my dear, George is very religious. Nest likely he bought that at a church fair."- New York Weekly.
 An Opportunity Lost-"I say, said Berkey to his wife yesterday at dinner, "you didn't say anything to any one about what was That's secret" "A secret! Why, didn't know it was secret" she replied, regret fully. "Wsll, did you tell its want to know" "Why, no, I never thought of it siace didn't know it was a secret. "- Boston Globe.
 A shoe manufacturer in Portland being asked to assist in providing bread for the poor, said he would contribute to tho extent of 100 sacks of flour and 100 bush els of meal to be given to each man who might be found in Portland who neither kept 8 dog, drank rum, nor used tobacco, and was in need of bread. The first man has not appeared yet to claim the gift.-Brunswick (Me.) Telegraph.
 An Anecdote of the War.-A soldier who had been taken prisoner had wife and chill drsn living in New Jersey. A good minis ter, learning that there was soon to be gen eral exchange of prisoners, and wishing to relieve the terrible anxiety of the wife. called and told her that her husband would proba- ply be exchanged in short time. "Well," said the poor broken-hearted widow, "l love John, and the children love him, and if he isn't so handsome as some men, don't want to exchange him, don't, and l just won't have rebel for 8 husband. so now!"-De- troit Free Press.