The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1889-05-30
WHAT THE WITS SAT-.
More or Less Funny.


is the most intelligent. The jackass
is noted for the size of his ears.
There is time in every mans life
when he thinks there is nothing
sweeter under the sun than some
body's daughter.
Gents trousers are becoming SO
wide that it will Roon be the proper
thing for lady to take the lead in
ascending a stairway.
There are yet more things in
heaven and earth than have been
dreamed of in hash; but the resources
for novelty in it's combination are
fewer than they have been.
About this time ofyear the family
woodpile becomes so distastetul to
the small boy that he thinks serious
ly of shipping as pirate-preferring
the sea to the saw.
Some one says that q woman
should never allow a man to pro-
pose marriage to her unless she is
| willing to become his wife. Some
people would deprive the women in
this world of all their fun.
When a lot of nobodies meet in
caucus it is hard for them to believe
they are not the supreme court.
The more nobody they are the more
supreme they feel.-New Orleans
Picayune.
The older you grow the more you
KNOW" says the old proverb. This
is another of those fallacious sayings
that time exposes. Just think how
little the old men of to-day know
compared with the young ones.
Delicate Satire. Husband-I
shan't be home to dinner to-day;
you need not wait for me. I'm 60
ing to shooting at Snake Hill. Wife
Snake Hill? think you are just
about Workmanship enough to hit
something of that size!
He-"Aw weally, Miss Blossom, do
you believe man sprung from the
ape?" She-(very tired OF his atten-
tions)-"Yes, presume men have,
but there are others who have never
yet made the spring, or at least new
sprang very far. ."-Omaha World.
The general Merchandise stores of
Leonard & Peterson and Anderson
L Oleson at Dayton were entered by
burglars. The safes in both places
were blown open, but only $50 in
cash were secured. The cracksmen
carried off $500 in goods.
At an assembly of friends lately
the absence of a lady was apologized
for by an acquaintance who said she
was detained by little incident. "
"Ah, yes" said Mrs. J. Chatterbell,
"a beautiful little incident" it was,
too-weighs just nine pounds and a
half
Doctor.-Your blood is deficient
in quality, Mr.. Jones. What you
need is more iron in the system. Mr..
Jones-That can't be, doctor. l
have stepped ON at least % tacks
with my bare feet since house clean
ing began-Burlington Free Press.
Smith II think Miss De Blank is
veryrude. Jones-"What causeslyou
to think that? I never thought her
So" Smith-"I met her down town
this afternoon and asked if l might
sae her home. She said yes. could
see it from the top ofthe High School
building and that it wasn't necessary
to go any further"
A. D. Marsh was judge ct the
Democratic primary Monday. A
young, smooth-faced fellow offered
his vote, and Marsh asked him if he
was old enough to vote" eyes, u
says the fellow, 81 am twenty-one, "
Glow do you know" "WelI, l have
had the seven-year itch three times, "
was the response.
Buyer (confidentially)-"Say. boy
are you sure this horse won't scare a
locomotive?" Stable boy-"Scarei
not muchl Why, sir, three different
men have been killed because that
there horse baked right in the mid
die of the track jest to enjoy seein
the bulljine comm"
"You are late this afternOon?'
said the music teacher to his banged
and powdered young lady pu2a
"Yes," said the damset ewishins
down on the music stool. "Ma wa,
so busy with her household dutie.
that ] had to wait nearly half al
hour for her to sew up q rip in one o
my kid gloves. ."-Noristown Herald
Aspiring Poet-"I wish to leavl
you some verses for your inspection
I will leave also my address anC
stamps, so that in the possibility o
yournot publishing the lines yon may
mail the manuscript to me-" Prac
tieal Editor-"You may leave the
stampsif you please, but it will save
time and trouble if you will take the
manuscript home with you" ."-Oma
ha world.
"Speakin' of twins" said the oil,
man, Chumpkins, "there was TIVE
boys raised in our neighborhooc
that looked just alike till their dyin
day. Lem didn't have any teeth
and his brother Dave did, but the,
looked precisely alike all the same
The only way you could tell ZEN
apart was to put your finger il
LENS mouth, and if he bit yer twas
Dave"
I Jones-"There are only two peri
ods in a mans life when he is greatl,
interested in his personal appear
ance." Smith-"When do they occur?
Jones-"One is at twenty, when h,
watches the hair coming out on hi
upper lip, and the other is at forty
when he watches the hair coming ou
on the ton of his head ."-Omah.