Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-08-02
Mr.. AND MRS. BOWSER.

When | got home from mothers
the other afternoon Mr.. Bowser
was walking up and down the slt.
ting room like Gagged lion. As he
was an hour ahead of his usual
time ! was naturally astonlshed,
and as he looked 80 stern and dig
nifed / was fearful that some mis-
fortune had occurred.
Anything wrong, Mr.. Bowser ~
l managed 20 ask.
He halted, folded his hands un.
der his coat.tails, and balancing
himself on his heels and toes alter.
nately, he replied:
"Mrs. Bowser, this IS the last
straw-the very last y
"Why, what have | done"
81 had an invitation to attend a
banquet of the b. n. G. club, an
was down to deliver an address.
| came home to get ready, and, 10
what do | find ~
"RObbers in the house !"
"Not much No robber with
any sense in his head would come
to this house 1t would take him
week to find anything | go up
stairs to get a clean shirt, collar,
&c, bat nothing of the sort can be
found. / come down and ask the
cook to see if my Sunday clothes
are in the -four barrel, but she
looks in vain. | 90 to the tele.
phone and ask the coal man If he
saw them in the basement when he
put In that last ton, but he can't
remember. Yon, of course, have
no knowledge Of them. You can't
say whether they are in the oat bin,
in the barn or packed away in the
garret for a rats nest"
"Mr. Bowser, have you been
drinking T.
"IIave / been drinking? That's
| Just like a woman. When she
gets cornered she throws out Just
such insults to hide her own short
comings. It's a wonder I haven't
been drinking. It's a wonder l
don't come home drunk and wipe
out this family Mrs. BOwser, |
demand to know what you have
done with my clothes y
"They are up stairs, unless you
have sold or given them away"
"No more insults, please. Come
up stairs and show me, for in
stane, where my shirts are"
"yery well. We shall find them
in the second drawer of your bu.
reau, where they have been kept
for the last two years"
"l'll bet you a million dollars to
a cent
"Come ON
We went up stairs to the bureau,
and pulled out the drawer, and
there lay five clean shirts, Just
where had placed them as they
came from the laundry two days
before.
"But they were not there an
hour ago." protested Mr.. BOwser.
"But they were. How could
they be anywhere else. In this
other drawer are your socks, neck
ties, cuffs and collars. See y
II see, butt that drawer was
empty half an hour ago"
"Aod in that closet is your Sun-
day suit. See? Coat, vest and
pants. Are you growing blind, Mr.
BOwserfn
"There is some dark mysttrT
connected with all this, Mrs. Bow
ser, and | will not rest until | IN.
ravel it. spent a good half hour
looking for my things, but not one
single article could hnd.'
"Because you rushed up stars
and went into the spare room, Just
like lots of other husbands. OI
course you did Seel Every drawer
in the spare room bureau has been
pnlled out, and the clothes-pres'
door was wide openw
Mrs. Bowser' don't try to get ou1
of it in this way. Ny eyesight II
still good, and when | see an empty
drawer | know it is not full o.
shirts.
= have lost an hour looking for my
things, and now I can't 90 to thu
banquet"
He went down stairs and called
up some one by telephone anC
said:
81 can't be there this evening"
My shirts, collars aud clothes hs(
been mislald by my wife, and
only found them a moment ago
Very sorry, but give my regrets t
p, the boys and tell them how it was
Some wives are like that, and can
help it, you know. Good bye"
The next evening Mr.. BowseI
brought a friend up with hlm-th'
same one he had telephoned to-
After bit he took him up stair
= for a smoke, and as they reached
the head OF the stairs they fonnt
the following notice on the be-
room door:
> "INsIDE THIS ROOM
y will be found
Mr.. BowsER's SHIRTS, COLLARS
CUFFS AND SUNDAY SUIT.
Don't make the mistake OF look
in0 in tho alIeVr