The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1889-03-14

checked clItLes who admireth his
reckleFs fool ways and longeth to be
Ike him2 The hopelessly insane
and rattle braiEed Young America.
Who straddleth fast horse and.
thinking himself 50 dodga asted grace
fnl, draweth tight rein and split
tieth the street wide open that people
may behold his excellency? Why,
nobody hat the ram-shamifed plg-
eon-toed, good-for-nnthin Young
Anne. .,ica.
| say, who grinneth at the girls all
during preaching and, at the close OF
services, blockadeth the doorway
and gazeth like set Of gihhering
fools at the Young LADIES' as they
come on,i The pop eyed Young
America, OF course. This conduct
makes me SO alfred mad, | Just
can't hardly keep from ringing otr
their heads like | would chickens.
It's downright impnle,t and Idiots
in them and it makes the girls feel
uncomfortable to be stared at as if
they were ten cent side show. ]
tell you. am q friend to the girls.
When | started in to wrItin | did
not bargain to get sitter them, bless
'em. They are all too good for the
professional g"z -.s, They are ma
,ursl|y ohlising and those etjnkcn
Young Americas take a mean ad>
vantage Of their goO1 nature. OF
course, these dear little cslico angels
feel duty bound to do about promis
cuously and fiS up like the very old
jirkcns to he gaXod at. How much
time they do waste and how much
expense they do 60 to all 20 please
aad fsscinate ttose worthless young
whclps! AL! their frlzzin and BAN
lin and tnckin and pou,lerin AMI
palntin and squeezin into tight
things and robb:n birds Of their
wings and game roosters OF their
tails AMI huildin up here aud pro-
ducing fashionable defOrm:t.cs and
cutt;n away there AID catchin cold
in consequcncc-al! these are the
| direct results of tins urmannerly
gain. If the young ladies' just only
knuwed what blasted rotten set
these grinnih', giggl:n idiots are :,
they wouldn't feel under obligations
to return :heic shcciish glance, and
sicI,ening smaller brained smiles.
Again, pray tell me, who doth
scrihble mighty smart things and
hart ncltin' scntiment in the back OF
The chur1h hymn books? Nov who
do you rcc.:cn could be go ze2iDus Cf
! fame, so devoid Of common sense,
and prnpriety, so snprCmeiy green,
so forgetfu! ofthc Ordinary principles
Of accAncy? Or, in other words, WHO
could act such billy btdalslammed
fool but the Young America?
cant stand the hymn book scrib-
oilers. It makes me hast all over 70
see one. SAW one wr.tin in hymn
book not long ago and If | hadn't a.
clutched The seat OF the bench With
both hands snd hl. the back Of the
bench till the effect wore OF, just
know I should have hOlIcred n
cnssel :l1ht in the mectin house aAd
[ would have beat that Young
America till his lille wouldn't hold
WALLER cGt!pn. | have instructed my
doctor that if AIN ever in desperate
! need OF an emetiC that he shall first
| try me on hot salt wat"r, then on
mustard, then tartar cmetlc, then
| ippecac, then louise soup, then green
! fly jan aEd then dog tick jelly and if
these don't fail to stir my stomach,
ga a last resort, let me read the CONS
position that some Young America
| has wrote in the back OF a hymn
book and if there IS no upEeaval, he
may as well give me np for dead t..
! If there amt a mighty reformation
amprT these upstairs in the futurc,
the i,g's M in This country certain
and S'iurc,
TIE O|a Americas, like he buffalo
and the ground ho5 and the hippo
pOtanuscs, are very rare and fast
beCOjninJ extinct. We tolerate them
merely ae cHri0ai.ies. | always hal
. too great a reverence far ola age to
say very hard things ahont this class
as long as they viii Let me alone.
have the profounslcst rcapSct far
gray halrs--eXccut;Ag tAe |cw that
decorate my own cranium. | have
so mach Irish blood in me that
never like to jump on man VITO /,
already down. Old Daddy Time i:
rjttin' s-StTaGdls of these Oid sinners