Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1889-10-10
a MILITARY CRITIC.
What the Gentleman Said About
the Embryo Soldiers.


eral members of one OF the militia reg
iments, says the New York Tribune.
Sitting few seats behind the m was a
red-faced, waspish old gentleman who
carried gold-headed cane and looked
a little like John Gilberts Sir Anthony
Absolute. If he had lived hundred
years ago he would certainly have cut
his oldest son off with a shilling after
the most approved fashion ii he hadn't
done anything worse than that.
The old gentleman had been smiling
contemptuously at the embryo soldiers
ever since the train left Croton, espec-
tally at one who sat nearest him, be-
cause he was young and not as large
around the waist as was consistent with
his ideas OF manly proportion. He
claimed that the young man would be
broken in two by the conclusion of n
cannon-ball hurrying past anywhere
in the neighborhood. l pointed out
the fact to the old gentleman tn t the
enemy would find it very difficult to
hit man as thin as the one under
consideration; but that didn't satisfy
him.
Somewhere on the other side OF Mott
Haven the returning soldiers began to
put on their accoutermentS ready for
marching. The old gentleman had
been Directing before to the amount OF
clothing they wore, claiming that the
new swallowt;til coats buttoned up un-
der their chinS with fifteen or twenty
buttons were warm and uncomfortable
and ought to be discarded in favor of
flannel shirt and linen coat. He
would have his ideal regiment go into
battle wearing straw hats and carrying
palm-leaf fans. But he was little pre-
pared for what was coming. First
each OF them put on big white
leather belt and buckled it up tight.
The old gentleman snorted. Then
each adjusted sort of white leather
harness which went over each shout
der and down at the opposite side,
crossing on the back and breast. The
old party snorted again. From this
harness on one side hung what
appeared TO be a black cartridge box
weighing, apparently, five pounds,
while on the other side was little
pocket for Il bayonet of about the pro-
portion Of policeman club. Then
they helped each other put on two
large lambequins around the edge.
Then they put on white hemlets with
brass spikes on the top which looked
sharper than bayonets-Sir Anthony
continuing to snort They were pretty
we'll covered with paraphernalia now,
but the worst was to come. Each one
reached down under the seat and
brought up sort of square valise
affair, which | supposed was a haver-
sack or something like that, which
seemed TO weigh about fifty pounds.
Rolled up on top OF it was a blue over
coat, for which there seemed to be no
immediate demand. as the thermometer
stood somewhere in the neighborhood
of 80 or 100. They helped one an
other to get this into place on their
backs, and each one of them rasped a
gun which appeared to be OF somewhat
ancient pattern. The brakeman closed
the ventilators, and they sat down on
the edge of their seats and leaned
themselves against the pack on their
backs and began to enjoy themselves
ana go through the tunnel. 1t was
some ten degrees hotter now, and the
lamps smoked and the old gentleman
iabbcd his cane into the car floor aud
suorted.
'Now look at EN-" blurted out tho
old military critic, ''just look at 'em!
They can't help it. They don't carry
all the stuff because they like to. but
the fact is that our militia is always a
hundred years behind the times. Why
should they carry all these things this
hot dayp What are freight trains for?
4
ordinarily, be any reason for loading
down men that way. A horse can car
ry such loads as well as a man, but he
can't shoot gun, and it isn't good pol
icy TO kill off all our men with that
kind of hard work and have the horses
left. That sort of thing might havo
done two or three centuries ago, when
men were cheaper than horses, but
now men have gone up AMI horses have
come down, and it's all played out.
There are too many trappings, too
many unnecessary things, too much
cinging TO old worn-out methods, too
much of this a-ceptury- behind-the-
times-but- too much ev-
ry-man-is-a-machine about military
matters wherever you find them.
"Now look at those guns, some sort
of single-shot affairs with the stock ex-
tending clear TO the end of the barrels.
Single.shot rifles are way behind the
times-repeaters came in long ago
but the institution that guns are made
for principally, the milit ry, doesn't
seem to have heard OF it. Just imagine
one OF those men in the front line Of
battle shooting about once in fifteen
minutes and getting his thumbs caught
in the breech Of his gun the rest OF the
time. Such kind of work doe sn't hurt
the enemy--what we're after in war is
the enemy, darn him. / say in war
pound it to the enemy and not load
our own men down with unnecessary
freight and fire historic guns till they
are dead and the enemy picks their
pockets and goes off whistling. What
we want is more common sense and
less copying after European military
customs of the last century and the
army outfits in the war of the roses.
Why, believe that one good man he
hind . rock with modern rifle could
pick off an entire regiment of men
handicapped as these re while they
were landing those knaDsacks wrip-