Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1889-01-17
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Lively Editorial Breezes from the Far and
Unpolluted West.

Unpolluted West.
SUSPENDED this issue we sus.
pend the agricultural department, es-
tablished five months ago. We insti-
tuted this feature as an experiment,
and to help out literary tenderfoot
from the East, who was bare-footed
and penniless, but who was fertile of
suggestions. The experiment was
failure. The aforesaid |. TT. was
drunk most of the time, and when
sober he didn't know cactus from a
wild lemon. The most valuable sug-
gestion made by him was that the
farmers of Arizona drink less oats and
sow more whisky. We have hidden
the tenderfeot a permanent and last
ing adieu and we now bid farewell to
agriculture as set thing. We shall
occasionally refer to the subject in
reckless, off-hand way, taking chances
on results, but there will be no further
studied attempt to make the sandy
plains get up and hump themselves
ir.to fields of waving corn, and we
shan't cover the rocky hillsides here
about with vineyards or patches Of de-
ceptive buckwheat. Goodbye, ten
derfoot-good-bye, agriculture!
Go EAsY.-We warn those NEEDLE.
some citizens who are charging us
with political treachery to go easy. 1t
is true that the kicker has been Demo-
cratic at times, and that we have oc-
casionally had good word for the
Republican ticket, and that we have at
intervals seemed to be red-hot for pro-
hibition, but we were sort of feeling
around to see what kind of a paper our
subscribers preferred. We didn't pro-
pose to break ourselves in two in the
first six months by getting left. We
had a Democratic and Republican
rooster ready for the election returns,
and we didn't care cent which way
the old kangaroo jumped. We shall
now be little more Republican than
Democratic, as we want the county
printing, but whenever we say any
thing distasteful to the Democracy we
will, as soon as the matter is called
to our attention, turn about and give
Harrison ''wipe" in the next issue.
We shall be Independent in nothing
and neutral in lots of things, hoping
that the Democrats will get there next
time and advising the Republicans to
hang on if it takes a rib. We are
heavy on the political principles of
our forefathers, but we have run our
circulation up to 1873 copies, and we
don't propose to hit any of our sub
scribers between the eyes to tickle any
partisan.
NOTICE TO CONTRIBUTORS. We can
not return rejected manuscripts. II
not accompanied by stamps we use
them to light the Office fire. II stamps
are sent we use them on our business
letters. If the author of "Seven
Buckets of Blood, or the Cork-Screw' s
Revenge" will send her address to this
Office she will hear of something tC
her advantage. We have received q
sketch entitled: Bobtailed Bob, o,
the Bobbers of Bobber's HILL" which
we will publish on receipt of the
authors check for fifty dollars, W.
must respectfully decline the stories
entitled: Her Father Booted Me, ant
"An Adventure With Indians il
France" They seem to have an i'm
moral tone. Contributors should al
ways send in their right names, not fol
publication, but in order that none 0
our thousand checks shall go to tn,
wrong person.
STEADILY IMPROVING. Since GU
last issue Colonel Fairbanks has hat
three rods of beautiful picket fenc,
erected in front OF his adobe, and tn,
Gem saloon has received three barrel
of whisky and a new pier-glass. W,
chronicle these improvements in n.
boastful spirit, but simply that out
siders may know that the spirit o
progress is not dead within us. w,
are going right to the front as town
ACCIDENT.-We regret to learn tina
Major Jackson, one of the pioneer res
idents of our little city, kicked at hi
dog last Saturday and drove his bi.
toe back into his heel by hitting tn,
corner stone of the new Masonic TEN
pie. The Major was our second sub
scriber, and he never meets us withou
asking us to drink. We sympathiz,
with him in his dark hour of trial, ant
trust that he may soon reappeal
among us. Should his condition be
come critical we shall issue daily bulle
tins from this office
Go HENCE. correspondent wishe
us to explain the meaning of the term
"From Alpha to Omega" We shan
do it. We have had politics enough
for one season, and propose to let u
ON the machine. We never heard o
Alpha, anyhow, and as for old Omega
may he be durned!-DetroI Free Press
Girls, said an elderly unmar
ried lady, never make young ma
wait any longer than is necessary. !
young man called on me once. He ha
been there frequently, and when | wa
told of his presence l thought
would test him little, so sent wor
down that ! would be there soon.
purposely waited half an hour, an
when did go to the parlor he had ez
cused himself and gone, and he neve
called again. / liked him awfully
too. Use the young men well an
be considerable of their feelings. 70
remember there are lots Of girls i
the world just as good as you are. "
Ddnsriile Breeze.