The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1889-11-20
CAUSES OF THE CYCLONE
Considered by the Wellington DeleGa
tioa Before Sailing up Salt River.
CHAPTER II.

without the aid OF the whiskey vote"
uProbably another cause was the throw
ing of the Shermen men out OF the sec
ond story window" remarked Edward r
His conscience had been opposed TO sucn
things.
aAnother cause was putting on airs, ana
assuming a patronizing manner toward
Uncle John, Butterworth, Grosvenor and
Beatty" observed Maj. W. He would
therefore move that the rules be suspended
and the causes be put to vote.
GA, supported the motion. causes or
no causes, we are licked; and the Repuo-
lican who won't trade causes for taters Is a
fool"
"I have looked into the causes In the
most careful manner" explained the Pres
ident. land find them sustained by the
facts in the case" A vote was then taken
and they were adopted and the Secretary
ordered to notify the Democrats OF the
fact.
"Betore going up Salt river" J" said Grove
wmoye that tambourine be added TO the
Glee Club" Rejected by vote OF 459 to l.
Gene moved that the delegation take
poker chips in payment Of dues Rejected
RIA. moved that the delegation procure
an oil painting Of Foraker guarding the
rebel flags. Adopted, unanimously.
The hour for closing having arrived the
President said: at is hard to be an old
Republican and get whipped. Perhaps
the best way is to die of in good season.
We will now go up Salt river"
The day before the cyclone jolly lot
of Republicans were at the American
House. They were full Of hope and con
fident Of victory; but, in the event OF de-
feat, "mine host" said 10 the aid-de-campr
"Colonel, there is Doc; he is about your
size and Lis bay window is about the d.
mensiops Of yours. If Foaker is beaten
Doc will probably be made an aid-de-camr
and will want military suit, cooked hal
and tin sword. Your military suit and
accoutrements will be useless TO you, and
Doc will buy them. Keep your eye peeled
Colonel. II Doc shouldn't get there, then
the lightning may strike Follansbee or
Hod. Barnes. A little angel tells Hod tha,
Campbell is going to tbefrcnt By taking
10 the SUIT a little il will ft Hod; so you
see, Colonel, there will be good chance
TO sell the suit"
The day after the cyclone the Colonel
was disconsolaie, and refused TO be CON-
forted. Not even the bubbling geniality
of Wish. as he sang 1--WE are gone to HI
hallelujah" could make him smile, and he
concluded to sell the gaudy uniform and
glittering tin sword before going up Salt
river. Accordingly the following notice
of sale was posted:
FOR SALE.
AS the undersigned is about to be placed
on the retired list, he will sell one sky
blue, yaller striped, COlonel's uniform.
The uniform is not afraid OF anything ex.
cept camel / will throw In cooked
hat and two epaulettes with eagles on
them. will also sell CORY, glittering,
tin sword. The sword has seen service.in
elping 10 keep old Grover from surren.
dering the rebel flags, Like the uniform,
it is afraid Of camel. The buyer will be
entitled TO the rank Of Kernel.
AID DE CANT.
The following proposals were received; |;
My Dear Colonel-I saw your advertise.
ment offering an aid-de-camp's uniform
for sale. The lightning may hit me, and
were il not that the uniform is afraid of
camel would pay well for It. Believing
that / can accustom It 10 camels, / will
make you standing offer of $1.15, /
don't want the sword.
Yours Sympathizingly,
Doc
Dear Colonel-I saw your notice that
you would sell one all.wool sky-blue Colo.
nel's uniform. Not desiring to have the
uniform go out Of Wellington, and expect
ing an aid-de-camp's commission, l will
make standing offer Of $125. am
afraid Of the CORY Damascus blade. Ac-
cept sympathy. YANK.
Dear Colonel--A few days before elec-
tion two little angels came to me and said,
Campbell is going to the front" l at
once applied for an aid-de-camp's commits
sion, and believe l shall "git thar Eli" /
shall want uniform, and by wearing a
padded corset yours will fit me. I will
therefore give $3.50 for it. don't want
the sword. have good corn cuttei,
and with that believe that can protect
the rebel flags while Campbell ia Cover
nor. Accept coincidence, Hon.
The uniform was sold to Hod. For the
sword the following offer was received and
accepted;
Dear Coloncl-I wish TO buy your sword.
The roads are very muddy and my horses
get badly spattered, and the sword will be
Just the thing to scrape of the mud. I
have been using corn cutter, but / need
II to cut corn stalks. will pay 20 cents
for IL. Accent regrets NICK,