New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-05-04
TIE TALK OF THE DAP.

A New Dodge.-Last night q dilapidated looking
nan on slxthave stopped citizen and said: Boss
can't you give a poor devil dime or nickei' Two
iuS, got back from Okyhomy. where ! spent all my
money in buying water at twenty Live cents pint
Figures Don'r Le.-Fiap-rm in love. and tho
, Mo SsarrceabIe thing about 1t u tLat tho girl 10
0"' JacE"How old are you nowi
I'm eighteen"
" And the lady is what7'
"Twenty-twO.' n A., 49,, 49,
arc twenty'onc she'll be only t"enty.-tfankee Blade
During the excitement Of the Centennial Celebration
me game Of pigs clover seems to have retired into
tho hole OF oblivion. And weary Nanon hopes
will stay there.
In theory the Republic the land Of free SPARES
the " home OF Oppressed nl hui ~ In practice tho
"t H sSS mS s the se Of the land
:hows dsoyai spirit amins az n' II he escapes
being hauled before Judge Lynch and summary con-
yed * G ana aaa rea who Want to sSp
the National integrity and insulting 'ho -'>'
cmblemS. -(Toronto Empire
"A IT Kenney OF No. 80 Nassanst-. has begun tfs
nubicaton of an excellent and useful :IoE'hiy uAV-
cllers' guide which Will contain full iniorma",h
70 the time tables OF railroads and steamboats, hteh
and their charges, art galleries, theatres Win aise'
OF seats public institutions, churches asyiums' oS'
etc It is prepared with especial reference to mo
needs Of New-Yorkers and is so systematically ar
ranged that any Information desired may be readily
found.
The "swagger Of American speech shosld DE con-
trasted with the sleepy submsaiveness OF popuias
oycrridden by superstition. Indeed, sprSd Eagleism
vastly more active 10 this country waen tS
Of July rhetoric has been vastly improved BY cold
and eadrn facts that made for pTSsSs o avn aw.Ts
talking about their almen': such p 9Gpe aSaTs
Tba thafp Is
taking pIlls-Lewiston NieJ journal
The noise Of our great celebration was distinctly
heard in Philadelphia over long-dlstance telephone
"Tho Boston Herald makes editorial announce.
f II This 81 sacmcn had appeared elsewhere puzzled
WeseTn reader might h h5t q Gan1se e is ali right
indianapolis Journal
Emanuel Baughman, OF Somerset County, Penn.
tells us that We are have snOwsorm this month,
and two heavy frOSts In juno.
Kansas paper contains this card OF acknowledg-
mrnts: Mr.. and MIS- Garland wish to express hsr
ssesfed at the burning OF their hotel last Monday
monns THIS Is too arsd pIie aSr tsat theS
are grateful fer any attention bestowed on them
lBOstOn Transcript
The next centennial Inauguration celebration will
be that Of Lincoln, In 1861. Some Of the schoolboys
who marched In the parade the other lay may then
be alive to see IT.
An Eccentric Hospital GuariIan.-Tuesdays and
Fridays, the Oup PARENT department of the Epsco.
p1i nSRS ars so Ths nGs e at one time
a rather eccentric man. known as Frank lie stood
mono S in much these words Leg alsisIs Scr:
legs Come IN. Have you got leg ulsterF Nor
T TS wa sSn FOR leg fil, All
SIT on the front row. Them what hasn't d no,uos ST
Leg usters This way and so Oh, Da Capo-tPhl
adelphia Press.
Some OF the Pennsylvania papers think II was very
silly In the Pennsylvania legislators to shout and Jump
in unison in the parade the other day. May be so;
hut 10 be merely silly IS venlal sin In Legislators
The Pennsylvania papers should not be too critical;
the legislators feeling happy the good time
| they were having.
az what use has been washngton's example Of
immcdaslS following pootc tribute 70 the brave,
good and wise soldier and statesman. the story OF the
catching Of twentyone pound trout !-tboston Tran
script
Tho Saturday Review" has heard OF man who
was born in a sort OF debatable land between Con-
neccut and Ohio" This is roundabout way Of
| saying New.Jersey.
Ready ir the Crowd-Mr. Bascom-wife I've
heard very important piece Of news me neshoors
| are going TO give US surprise party tonight
Mrs. BaScom-Iiow thankful am that the carpets
are all up and the best furniture out OF the way
| burlington Free Press.
"The Chicago Ma7 says that there arr some people
in that city who don't know whether this Is republic
or hole in the ground.
GeneT9,ity-Namby at party r to Dao young poe'-
o0S N,i ara tans something for granted are
| you mott
What is that?'
That poet
well 90 even further than that; well take for
granted that what you read IS pOetry7-(i ankee
| Blade.
There IS special season for different kinds Of
| Jokes and Wild animal stories; but the story about
the woman with snake in her stomach has al
seasons for its own.
When a father In Madagascar gets the notion that
his daughter ought TO marry he puts rope around
her neck and leads her Drth, and the first young man
he Offers her has got 10 take her or pay forfeit
The father thus C expense Of light and fuel
Incident to a two years ourshp, and the young man
also saves on opera tickets and ice cream. But the
spectacle OF young darling up alleys and climbing
over back fences when father starts out leading his
daughter with rope around her neck must 10 very
common one Ia Na,iag NorrlStOwn Head.