The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-06-15
The Man About Town.
OF COURSE THERE Is.

II SDuuy, uuict ooit Va Pi"Oot
A lovely, cosey nook.
OF course there is-0ne cannot doubt
The guide books tell US so,
The guide books Of the summer resorts,
Where gentle zephyrs blow.
But what is that to you and
Wen not get there, you bet,
OF course not-On ten dollars week.
Well, no-at least, not yet.
Oh, what care we for summer rests?
What difference if we did?
Oh, we'll be rich some day you say,
Wen get there as you did.
OF course that's all right in its way,
But times, you see, may change,
Perhaps there'll be no summer resorts,
When we procure the change.
A thin, spare man leaned against a tall,
lean gas post on La Sale street at TIVE o'clock
in the morning. He was tall in his spare.
ness, and his beard. worn for six weeks
without having cultivated the acquaintance
of a razor, gave his pallid face wearied and
dismal aspect. The moon shone brightly
upon his countenance, and its woe BECOME
ness drew the dampness from the police
mans beat upon which he stood.
"My poor man." said passer by, "Why
do you stand in this distressing attitudey
What mundane grief has caused you this
woel'
81 am looking" he gasped, in a sepulchral
sort Lof way, 81 am looking for doctor.
| have looked every night for seven weeks.
The interviewer sympathizingly laid his
damp cheek upon the mans fevered brow
and wept with him, for he knew the rocki-
ness Of the mans state--he had been there
himself
believed implicitly in the assertion OF
the other week that Ottawa was not besieged
by that promoter Of domestic wrecks-the
cooking school, but unfortunately the eye OF
a man about town is liable to become clogged
up with sand, for there is q cooking circle,
or club, right here in our midst. 1t is com
posed of large number of young married
ladies and misses who move in the elite
set, and meetings are held every week at
the homes of members. At each meeting
the bill of fare for the next session is pre-
pared by the chief cock Of the day. who
delegates each member to prepare certain
part of the menu. OF course this is an i'm.
provement On the cooking school, for cannot
our lady member have her own cook prepare
the Wand, or purchase her cake at the near.
est oonfectioner's-well, yes. aud-she does,
too. As fair proof of it, two members Of
the club met in down town bakery on the
morning Of the last meeting The clerk was
in the act Of wrapping up choice cake for
Mrs. Blank just as Miss Dash entered.
"Ah.hal" exclaimed Miss Dash, Caught
you, didn't II Won't you have some
cream?'
"No, thanks, dear. This cake. by the way
is the one he made of the dough left over
when he made that nice one you brought to
the last meeting" Tablesu.
-
An old farmer halted his conveyance in
frount Of Capt. Rising's "All Stock and Nc
Style Cigar Store," the other day and care
fully lifting bushel of cobs from his buggy
entered the store and planted it upon the
show case.
"Whats that?" asked Capt. Rising.
"You mean them" corrected the farmer.
been selectin' them for nigh onto year.
You see I'm a great Teller to smoke corn cob
pipes, and thought as how, perhaps, you
would trade half bushel Of pipes for a
bushel Of good specially selected flint corn
cobs. This is the first time I've been to
town for nigh on six year, and my supply
of pipes is getting mighty low. What do
you say, stranger"
"My dear SIR" said the Captain, in his
blandest manner, ave can't use your cobs,
you know. We don't make pipes nohow.
What on earth put such an idea into your
head anyhow
al see," exclaimed he, wrathily, 'just it!
you fellers want US farmers to buy corn cob
pipes of you, but you 60 and buy ready
made pipes in Connecticut an beat us out OF
our legitimate profit on cobs 1t won't
work, sir. No sir, you can't have my trade
on them there terms"
And he drove way in the direction OF
Mitchell's No. 7.
saw Mr.. Fifer, the gentleman who has
been brought into such undue prominence
by the discharge Of Warden Garvin from
the Joliet Penitentiary, in his official capao-
ity as governor the other day, and in an
somewhat rambling conversation MIR. Fifer
made these remarks:
81 tell you what II is, my boy, itsisn't sc
darned much fun to be governor of big
State like this as you fellows would suppose
Folks think have got nothing to do but sci
in the executive chair with my feet on the
mantle and fifteen cent Cigar in nay month
all day long; but tell you its a mistake
First thing when came here there were
heads to chop of. Had to get up early in
the morning and stay up late, so as to gel
= EN- chopped so they would stay. Then
there was heads to put on that old Dick had
chopped off. Then there was house cleanin
and visitors, and the deuce knows what, till
the only recreation left o fellow was settin
on a barrel in the barn doin' the pigs in
clover. wish was the pigs and could get
in clover just once. | suppose crops are
good up your way
asked him what kind of state policy he
wac mapping out
"well," he said, al aim doin' much map
PIN. What's a fellow got a lot of Stat,
officers for if they can't map? Dunn mappin
policy anyhow. | never was no mappel
no how
Ladies' Have Tried 1t,
A number of my lady customers have