davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17
A FAIR SHOW.
MAKING A HOG HAPPY, AND HOW
1T RESULTED.

MAKING A HOG HAPPY, AND HOW
1T RESULTED.
We were sitting in front Of Tay-
lor's grocery on sumner day,
vixen big black hog came noslng
along the gutter and started a new
train of thought. In the crowd Of
loungers was man from st. Louis,
and, after watching the pOrker tor
while, he remarked :
81 wonder if that hog ever had a
real good time in all his life ~
"Hogs allus have good times, |
guess,' remarked the village coop
or, who had knocked off work and
come over 20 hear sOue politics.
81 doubt it," SAID the other. "Hr
must feel his degraded position in
life, and so he cannot be happy. |
wish | could do something to make
him feel that lite is worth the
living
"Fust man ever saw who pltied
hogw grunted the blacksmith,
who ought to haye been tacking a
shoe on waiting mule.
ayes, | do pity him. I've been
down myself and know how it is.
Taylor, have you got any cherry
whisky Z"
"Mlghty little, if any. More
cherries than whisky, guess"
"If you've got two quarts OF cher
ries which have been IN liquor, bring
'em out, aud I'll give you half a
dollar. I'm going to make that
hog happy for two hours"
The grocer got the Cherries
which had been lying in liquor for
a couple of years, and the st. Louis
man poured them out INTO the gut
ter for the hog. They were deyour'
ed with astonishing aYidity, and
the porker stood and looked at US
and huDgered for more. 1t was
doubted by some ifthe liquor would
affect him, but after a few minutes
he began to frisk aid play, and
was evidently under the influence.
"That does me good y said the
donor of the cherries. "He is be-
coming light hearted, and life will
now take on new charms to him.
Hang a man who won't give a hog
q show
Just then the animal uttered a
hoarse "woOfl1 and charged for the
crowd. We scattered and he en-
tered the grocery, took two or
three turns, and shot out and down
the street. Esquire Smith was
coming mp, aud the hog charged
and upset him. He then headed
for a horse and buggy in front OF
Snyder's, crashed against the
horses hind legs and IN another
moment there was a runaway. The
widow watkins was sailing along
with a can of kerosene in her hand
and the hog rolled her off the walk
as if she had been struck by a
locomotive. He then charged a
double team and started tnom OIL
dove into Gaylord'S dry goods
store and out, and old man Sabln
turned in from Elm street inst IN
time to be lifted three feet nigh and
rolled into the gutter.
Fifty men we're out and after the
porker by this time, but he started
another runaway, upset a baby
carriage, and knocked the register
of deeds of his pins before we cor
nered him and got a rope around a
hind leg. Then everybody was mad
and wanted vengeance, but when
they came to look for the st. Louis
man he had skipped. He, how
ever, left a message for the public
saying to a boy who had Skinned
up an awning post to be out oI
danger;
any son, If you haven't adopted
a motto yet, let me throw out one
for your digestion. 1t is: "Givt
everything a fair show. ."-Ne''
| York Sun.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17
he DI Ed UNDER ORDERS.

THE DRAIE DEED OF SOLDIER
DURING THE PlsNINsULAR CAM.
PAIGN.
The folio wing is from one who
had been through the war, and
was an eyewitness to the scene
described
"DuriDg 'Littl Mack s. peninsula
campaign, we we're lJ ing in the
hills on the north side Of the Chick
ahominy, while the rebels held the
other side. Our men were engaged
in erecting bridges to connect the
two shores, for as yet, with the ex'
ception Of an advance guard, who
had crossed on raft bridge, none
of our men had reached the other
side. A short distance in front Of
our guard there was an elevated
piece of ground, behind which the
rebels bad placed some sharpshOot-
ers, and they kept our men pretty
we'll down to the river bank.
"While in the middle OF the
work our general rode down and
questioned the major as to the
strength of the enemy concealed
behind the knoll. The major said
they were out in force, bat how
strong he could not say.
"'Call one OF your men,
"The major called Brown and
man who was in the mud srim.
ming a piling, dropped his axe,
advanced and saluted. Go eau.
tiousIy mp the bank there said the
general, pointing to the op posite
side where the guard was station
ed !, draw their fire if you cm; If
not, shout to provoke it,
"The mans lip qulyered, a great
knot rose slowly in his throat, and
he turned inquiringly to his major.
In a moment he recovered, but bis
hand trembled as be touched his
cap, and quickly crossing the RATS,
past the guard post, he ran up the
bank and stood IN full view, wait
ing for death. In dead silence we
watched and waited.
"ShoHt, my man = cried the gen
eral. Shout y
"The hands of the soldier went
up, and swinging his cap he shout
ed 'Hurrah for Mcclellan and
the
ga volley of musketry swept the
hilltop, and the man threw up his
arms and rolled a corpse at the
foot of the guard. With a mighty
yell the guard charged up the bank
and poured a shower of lead into
the timber beyond, then returned,
bearing the now lifeless form of
the martyr. The blood trlckled
from his head and face in many
places ; it ran in a stream from his
arms, and the mud on his trousers
was fast turning red. The majors
face paled, and be bit his lips till
they bIed, and the guard muttered
curses under their breath. The
| general looked at him and said
He is done for; he was a brave
man and died under orders.'p
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17
TRAIN NO. s.

am an "old railrOader," and l
think in view of the fact that it is
almost forty years since l did my
first days work on the iren horse,
mo claim to that sObriquet is a
good one. am a "prominent
Official" now, and am permitted TO
transact most of my business in a
pleasantly furnished Office over.
looking the broad and busy street
of a large western city.
Quite frequently old associates,
more recent acquaintauces and
newspaper men drop in to visit me,
and, when they see that | am not
particularly busy, they are apt TO
linger long and will sometimes
worry me for ga railroad story
Especially is this the case with
the reporters when "things are
dOllp in their own especial line.
"Now, Mr.. Rennie, one will say
"we all know that you are an old
stager. Your record is public
property. You have Travelled cas-
and west, north and south, proba
bly, half a million miles. Tell US
rip snortIng' yarn, for the Bang
town Trumpet.
whereupon l will OCCASIONAL!
humor them and resurrect an olC
dead and buried reminiscence, bu
more often l will reply IN thl
wise
cit is very true, gentlemen
am indeed an old timer. | hsv
( fired up, bossed the throttle, grades
roadbeds, dispatched trains an
managed two or three thOusan'
miles Of railroad property, and yet
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17
Farmer GilPs Fishing Dog,
A CANINE THAT DELIGHTS IN
CATCHING A BIG STRING
DAILY

A despatch from Tuscola, H.,
says ShllO Gill, one of Douglas
county's best and most prosperous
farmers, lives on the banks of the
Embarrac. Mr.. Gill has a dog, to
which he is greatly attached, which
exhibits almost as much intelligence
as human being, and is of great
service on the farm.
The other day Shilo was stroll
ing along the banks of the stream
with his favorite dog Barney when
he came TO rifle in which sew.
eral large fish we're floundering IN
their efforts to pass up to reach
deeper water.
The bodies of several OF the
larger ones we're particularly above
water. Barney dashed IN and in
an instant had dragged one to land
AM. his master took possession OF
his catch. Again the intelligent
dog returned to the rifle and an
other fish was landed, and this
| operation was continued until Shl'
10 found that his "string" contain
ed thirteen as fine fish as one would
ask for.
Every morning and evening the
fish attempted TO pass the rifle
and at these times Gill and old
Barney were on hand to get a sup
ply of fish, and both enjoyed the
sport hugely. The dog was struck
by the nns of a large catfish the
other evening, since which time he
Is a little chary of tackllng that
species.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17
ia MEALS Al ALL HOURS
Thu bouse is not only aoied for the Ics'
35CENT MEAL!
EUREK no L : =,
JOS. f. HOLTZMAN, HoPr"'~
EDlNBURG, VA.

This Lew and commodious hotel is no"
omen for the reception Of guests. Every.
hing il new from basement 20 attic, spo
was 6nilt with a view TO making it one Of
the uost comfortable and attractive hotels
in the Valley. The rooms are ntted up
with ali modern improvements in furni-
,ure The Office and dining room are
handsome, large and comfortsble'
No pains or expense will be spared 70
fnrnish the table with all that can tempt
ths annette and give perfect satisfsoson.
Chsiges will be very moderate, ana
0uests can rest assured that all wiz BE-
done 10 make their stay comfortable sne
enjoyable. ...A.s d, a..
.osai % [Dec. 16, 'e7-tk
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17
POOR JOE'S JIGGERS.
AWFUL WRECK OF A YOUNG
MANS MIND CAUSED BY COUNT.
ING SHEEP.

AWFUL WRECK OF A YOUNG
MANS MIND CAUSED BY COUNT.
ING SHEEP. u
whats the matter with your
friend ~ asked San Francisco re.
porter of young man With
broad, white hat, corduroy trous.
ers, and woOlen shirt who was
Sing to induce his compassion,
similarly cad, to move on.
"ile's got the sheep jiggers.T
"The sheep JggerS' What's
that y demanded the qnestioner.
"M by, ye see. in our business we
have to count our sherp twice a
day, morning aud night. Joe, here
-Sherp Herder Joe he's called up
In the Pine creek cOuntry hes
been tendin' bunch of nigh cato
5000 sheep, and 1t has purity pear
Gruv him clean daft a cOuntih' of
'em 80 much.
"He scarcely gets time for an y.
thing else. Very often a sheep
herder gifts of his cabasar on tn is
account and that's why we call II
the sheep jiggers.
"Jist ye watch him a minute. Y Q
see he's got 10 little pebbles in his
right hand. Now he'll count from
one up to a hundred and then he'll |
pass one of them jggers into his
left hand. When he gifts all of the
jiggers into his left hand that will
make 1000, and he'll cut a notch
in the rim of his hat or his boot heel.
"Didn't ye meyer notice th Q
notches cut IN the rim of sheep
buckarOO's hat! That's what it.
means.
"When Joe gifts a thousand
counted he counts another thou
sand and passes the jiggers back
into his right hand and keeps on
that way back and forth all day if
we let him."
Here the unfortunate young man
took off his hat, cut neat notch in
the brim with his jackknife, put 1t
back on his head and resumed
counting.
"Poor Joe - said his companion,
ave brOughten him down here
thlnkin' the life and hustle of the
city might help him, but it's no
use. He Just stands like ye see
him all day long and counts people
for sheep, Just the same as il he
was on the Madalaine plains.
"Whst's that? Did 1 ever have
the jigsers Well, yes; onct. |
was out in the foothills of the 81.
skiyOu range workin' for Dan
Wheeler. and | had so much
trouble with coyotes and under
brush that / used to count my
bunch of sheep three times a day.
| didn't have no time for anything
else and it mighty near took me of
my base.
81 could see sheep a.jumpin' over
the bars night and day and could
hear their eternal bleat ringin' in
my head like 'Boulanger's March
on hand organ. | couldn't do
nothin' but count, count, count,
and when got through | couldn't
tell how much it came to. Every.
thing looked like sheep and the
hills looked like big sheep.
"The tin cups and fryin'.pan
looked like sheep, and the moon
stood over me at night like a big
bell wether and made me count
him 100000 times until my head
fairly cracked.
"It was sheep, sheep everywhere
and no relief. Oh, it was awful !"
and the young man, with closed
eyes, pressed his hands to his
throbbing brow and groaned as he
recalled that dreadful experience.
Chow did l cure 1t Went into
town and got bilin' drunk
When the reporter left, poor
Joe was still standing in the same
place, counting the people as they
passed and changing the 'jiggerS'
-. 100 l,o,J 30 kha othar
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17

She, enthuslastically-Ab, how
nice it must be to be famous How
wish / had a name
he, bashfully-Aw-e -er- what
wodld you cay to mine
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17
A g. wYSKOOP,
DR. B. F. MAPHIs & BRO.

- DGh NlS trs
OrTIoEs; Woodstock aud saumsyilie, Virginia
IN Woodstock lst and 3rd weeks Of each
month. In Saumsvile 2nd and 4th weeks.
Those In need Of frst-class Dentistry al
Eoderate prices, will do well 70 call.
Fall sets Of artificial teeth from 500 TO
$500, $500 and 5000.
Pure gold filings from sl.25 70 slO.VO.-
Silver Filings from 70 cts. 70 $500.
Artificial teeth put up on solid gold,
gold and eellsloid combination, celleloid
and rubber plates.
Gold and porcelain rivetiDg, clasps, &c.
Special attention given 20 filing and pre-
serving the natural teeth, and correcting
the Irregularities All work warranted first
slass. Teeth extracted absolutely without
pain by the use Of Nitrous Oxide Gas.
May IS, '64-tf
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17
He Hit Her on the law

A Lawrenceville doctor was es-
corting a young lady from the
opera. She yawned considerably
as the train neared her suburban
home. He warned her to be care
ful. Again she yawned, there was
a click, and the jaw was dislocated.
At once he gave her ringing blow
on the chm, which drove the Jaw
in place, but several passengers
sprang to their feet, thinking 1t q
case of wife beating. He could
not explain without making the
lady ridiculous, but a newspaper
item set him right.-PhilddelphtG q
Record.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17

Chronic Nasal Catsrrh positively
cured by DR.. sage's Remedy. 80
cents, by druggists.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17

A stand for the write-The INK
stand.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1889-05-17

Irredeemable bOnfs-V a z a
bonds.
The Anaconda standard., 1889-10-18
sPlto ev A eRoTHER.

m~v q so-Y~ar-OSa ssoy Kept His sssssr
frssa ESspsmg with = Married Aassairer.
ST. PAUL, Oct. l7.-An elopinR couple
from North Sc. Paul wcre captured mt the
Union depot this AfternSou. They were
Georwe A. White, who gives his age as q,
but who looks nearer I'd, and Bertha
LAURA Fetch. a girl of 1b, daughter OF .
widow who keeps boarding-hossse ~
North -. Paul, whore White has lived Tor
the last swo months. The giri's brother,
= smart little Lad Of 10, IL credited with
illustrating the plana OF the couple.
The little fellow had observed Whites
attention so his aistcr, who was Infatuated
with the man. FOR some weeks. fester-
day morning, awakening earlier snan nus
mother, he discovered that his sister's
srunk was gone and that she had depart.
eSl. He went to Whites room nnd founi
q also deserted. without waiting To tell
of OF the wisconsin Central road and
learned by inquiry that White anu ms ais
TER had ssaken the first train Tor the CITY.
He wa. doing detective work on his
own account Another train stood at the
station rsssaly to leave for the city and he
jumped atoari. , Arri,vimG here and -. wehi .eI,i
his story tn Lieut.. Cook: The officer went
with him To the Union depot at once and
s'n sn ,S ""ffEasS aS sS" ~.s ." "vsrjoyed TScy
sand then we'll got 'em." He sat down
"s Shortly i % S.f"rs s"'ci"ck White appeared
at the baggagr-room. intending To check
shouted the hoy, and the policeman
nal,tcd him. The girl was outside i'm the
waiting-room, and her hoy brother was
soon embracing her. She broke down
then and begged to l,c taken home. She
was taken to police hcatlq,Iarters and her
mother telcgrapled for. Mrs. Fetch ar
rived an hour later and took back her
pcnitent daughter and triumphant SON.
White was locked up at the Central sta
ton charged with abduction. He IL q
married man, hut has not lived with his
wife, who is now i'm Virginia with their
child, for three years. He had pass to
Rush City, where he had contracted To
work, and had purchased n ticket for his
Ooslng inannorata.
The Anaconda standard., 1889-10-18

Ons. to yvtssssn Nature Had IB~en Cnk Ind,
Exclat,atiop points were dropped 10y
the students OF the ex-Beaumont hospital
yesterday at their temporary lecture
rooms. Fourteenth street aud Lucas
place. says the 81. Louis Gtobe- -f)r1,ocruf.
until u sort Of parlor cyclone was set
vyrating about the subject of the lecture,
Frank Edgcrton. The case was re-
narkailc one, and brought Texas to the
front once more.
IL happened this way: Mr.. Elgcrton il
n man of 3O years, is bright. sociablc and
witty i'm n quaint. quiet way. b,it n way
that seems bound to- obtain some day.
Nature has been "a little unlxind to him.
however, and To remedy this he sought the
aid of 81. Louis physicians. All that seemed
To be the matter with him that he
had N harS-iip. a cleft palate. the beams
from one eye flashed AIT AN acute angle
across the rays of the other, and he had
no eyebrows. Still this had not deferred
him from wedding with ~ very hand
state. even though the want of = slustache
was added Ia other omissions i'm his make
arp. The lady died. however. and after
porsunity to wed could hc but overcome
the hars-lip obstacle. Hence his visit
here. DIR. Waldo Briggs saw that this was
to work i'm effort to effect a cure. mean
time lccturing ON Mr.. E,lgcrton as COM
placeutly as though hc were "A text-tSos,k.
In tine inauguration oF yesterdays let-
tu-c DIR. Briggs enumerated the PATIENTS
t7o ibl,s Ms those he knew of. and then
asked:
...I think I've got them all, sir, haven't
'.An bui this" replied Mr.. Etiyerton.
and. pulling of very clever. deceptive
wig, displayed IA head as polished as the
manners OF Lord Chesterfield. To say
that the class was amazed would he a gem
tie statement. Not suspicion of ~ lurk-
ing hair could be entertained.
'How long have you been so baid""
asked the doctor.
l.;r Il, -
ory serves me-" he replied, cody enjoying
their astonishment.
"what, wholly innocent OF hair ?" came
I'm n chorus.
''Never knew Of anybody having an at
tachneut for one isolated s,,scimeti. The
wig Is ~ cute aud even fooled my
wife. for u long time. but WON tn will get
60 the bottom OF things"
The next lecture at that college will bs,
n microscopical s.xauniuAtion OF the cper.
dennis TO ascertain whether any trace OF
sacs appear in the cutis. They believe II
Is abnormal. hut he says: "Its just the
way that nature made me and i amt
grumblin.'"
The Anaconda standard., 1889-10-18
MORNING MGLANoE.

49,
himself so.
Like many q young man. nature be9tns
her fall by painting things red.
Noshiu1 lf,pka n ,,,ore like, n uann Of seuse
than a fool who hoIsIs his tongue.
Six hundred good Indians have been
hCldin1 \ rO,nsin0 Camp meeting near 81.
(,hnries. Mich.
No ,n. 1. .I,a~ an v,;s< M, lono n .eneence
;c - O. -C-Ss =. al. ,,r,firo i,,iUc-
E.cr..v I.s-rnriss.
-. Ns,v-a,. ,,,--c.. ,,~...u$e<,
,hc.,,..,ys. x<si,'Hssr;iv n thc Scosch Inn.
as;c s.wI,,r,s = 'sss ssEss, Sor 1rrat,ncnt.
"'~ s-yss:. ' "a = s.r-
Ang ~ - Issp ~ .;iSe~ 10.
~ ossesGst6 ~ - - 49,, sSs - See,s..sSrSSs9 91
III xss,s. .s,;-sssas ~ ..,s",'ss and csniv
& % az ' ~
49, .s,..a
asncy ~ sheS ~ s.sa.;o. - xS-;ca
ssSrtui sal. iake IN snT .msos,os Oh & .,S
.'.'s ~. - az .ssr;.. shcw s.nI fr.,rr thcre
soiie a -. Ill., ~ .Ts. ss sy .r;S h.S.S., 49,,
au .snr o"s'''s '''"S WI" "'"''' '''e'
,, , s,,, N, ,;.
,, An SI na.ss. @ na,,,,cd m"vne i sh. cart ~ ami nj
ysaru aaMHnser '. m ss .s,.s, s .sssn. 81,
Hove Hsr % HDou. , s SoHny nny iTs tSos Ssr fetbes
% Ier s.s.Ss : -, ss.'y ..EsS III. - 49,
esr. ". ",ese y" s'ic se'''e sossS. -. -
nc annuat la cost !s'r nen ~ ~ % 'n :, ~ ~ H,e
srnies %. EuSts ~ - ~ 10. c.a .n ~ o.es. = LII,
- s; ~ AMstu nHssy, -" ~ r
- Los ~ nn.sai ~ ss;S . E;.s, IN ,.,,'as c'.s
sne ,., bottom %, OF o. tne ns'' WIN q" """""' cost
Oh ohy =. PCT man. ..,,,
Young Miss Wiigus: Where are You
going, papa Mr.. Wngns: tne
tempsrance meetlnR. we u'ehd to n-
men OF the county noun9 Miss Wh9us:
iry ana save q rca, NICE one Tot me,
Will you, papa dear .-Ierre ho".e Err
press.
The Anaconda standard., 1889-10-18
HINTS TO BusYBooIes.
From the on CITY blizzard.

From the OH City blizzard.
DON'T throw any oil leases over your
shoulder that you can get ON royalty and
wind.
Don't advocate board of trade unless
you are willing tn furnish some of the
nails for 10.
Don't bake your furniture and fry your
cellar wallis i'm trying tn get even with the
gas companies.
Don't lean ON am editors shoulders
when he's at work. Distribute your weight
more generally by strasldling his neck.
Don't ask N political candidate to give
you n ride on his breath. Throw him into
the sewer and pursue the even tenor of
your way.
Don't sing i'm the muzzle Of n gun II you
can help IL; bait ~ you must do SO, let the,
selection be "white Wings" or ;" Sweet
violets."
The Anaconda standard., 1889-10-18
STOLE A FORTUNE.

= Coasecticut Youth. who Robbsd his
Father. Hum to Earth.
PoRTLAND, Ore. Oct. IA young man
Who has been cutting u wide swath in the
west came tn grief yesterday. His name
= Geo. e.. Hazewcll, and he hails from
Hartford. Conn. He is tall and handsome,
Of athletic build. Six months ago ho rob
he'd his father, n wealthy Hartford man,
Of SaO.O0O OF registered United States
tso0tls. aud since then has bccn seeing the
country. He bohbs~l up hero ten days
ego. and until yesterday had been making
16cal swells green with envy by his lavish
expenditures Of money. After the rob
bcry, .Su. 4. Hasewell. the uuclc, started
on chase and visited the principal cities
He arrived in Portland yesterday and
while walking about the city saw his mop
hew. The young man wilted and going
to his hotel produced Ss0.UO in b"n.is and
quite u su,n in coin. The uncle and ncph-
sw started for Hartford last evening.