The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1889-03-15
MAD. BUT NOT CRAZY.
Actual Experience of a Drumme
Faithfully Recounted.

dlUnIuliy t(ocOunC0Q.
On the platform of little station
which has been known as Shandees
ever since old Mr.. Shandees, in ex-
change for the glory of the name gave
the railroad company a right OF way
through his farm, was an animated
scene on the date of this narrative,
which was not so very long ago. A
choleric traveller, red-faced and per-
spring, stormed and swore. fumed and
fretted, and did nearly every thing he
could to MAKE visible display of dis
gust and disappointment. Had he been
awoman this traveller could have SIM
plified matters and saved much wear
and tear to his mental and physical or
ganization by sitting down in a heap
and taxing a good, long cry.
As he was not a woman, and he
wouldn't cry, he did the natural thing
for most men to do-he swore. He
poured maleiictions upon the rapidly
vanishing north-bound train, which he
had winded himself in striving to catch;
ne poured confusion and dismay upon
the heads of the railroad officials. the
train men, who luckily were out of
hearing, and the station agent, who I'M
fortunately was not, and, moreover,
was too small man in stature to resent
the left-handed blessings.
As the hired representative of cor
poration, he meekly received the col
lective remarks, as he is paid to do.
The station agents most onerous duty
is to serve as a target for general COM
plants against the company.
The reader has probably surmised
that this traveller was cleft" He had
called on customer of his in the little
village, taken a small order for goods,
and hoped to catch the next train
home. He missed it by fifteen seconds,
and in his chagrin he gave himself the
best possible opportunity for bursting
a blood vessel or dropping in an attack
OF apoplexy, and thus permitting his
wife 10 realize on his life insurance.
There is no mistaking the fact that
he was in a frame of mind.
To some people death is almost pref
cradle to long enforced STAY in a little
cross roads hamlet, where there are no
hotel accommodations or any thing else
provided for non-residents, and it was
nearly so with Lemurl z. Lemuels, of
the firm of Todde, Rodde & Co.. who
on this particular Saturday evening
found himself stranded in the woods,
two hours ride from home, and no
way of encompassing the intervening
distance.
Saturday night. too. remember, and
no more trains until Monday morning.
His fits of agitation revived at every
thought of his direful situation.
When Lemuels was so fatigued that
he could swear no more at the cloud of
smoke which remained in sight after
the train had disappeared. he came to
his senses and endeavored to be reason
able
I'm the love of Heaven said he to
the station agent who was also operator
and other functionarieS in one. lis there
any way / can get away from here? Any
where, anywhere is better than this"
No more trains north till Monday
morning"
ANY south?"
Sunday night, eleven forty-three.
Lemuels groaned.
mo freights?"
'.North-bound freight tomorrow
afternoon. $50"
when does it reach Toledo?"
Monday morning, 2:20."
Another longer groan. Then some
more maledictions on his i'll luck.
The operator had heard call on his
instrument, and at this juncture went
to receive a dispatch. When he came
out again he called to man who was
near by to go and see that the south
switch was all right, as he had received
orders to look out for a special.
"A special trainr' almost yelled the
travelling man; which way is it go
ing?"
North"
Saved saved" tragically exclaimed
Lemuels.
Iss.u't do you any good. though"
said the operator; Its train load of
crazy people going to the asylum at To-
ledo, and no sane passengers will be
taken on"
'.Ye gods am crazy enough to ride
with that crowd"
You're pretty crazy, but l don't be-
lieve the conductor will let you ride"
Thoughts crowded thick and fast
through the mans brain. Should he
remain here in this clearing over Sum
day, or should he make bold stroke
fof liberty?
"Will the train stop here?" he asked.
mot at the station, but it will have
to stop this side of the crossing ND