Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1889-09-20
Pat Flanlgan's Logic

Patrick F anipam," said the District At
tatney o:e day 10 court, "stapd up and
plead guilty or cot guilty to the charge the
Commonwealth bath preferred against
,ou"
When Pat complied with the polite re
quest thus made by the officer OF the law,
the Attorney proceeded to read from pa.
per in his haud very graphic description
If "A certain transaction in which Pat had
b, en- engaged ,ew days before.
"Wbat say you? Are you guilty or not
guiit,?n asked the Attorney.
"I'm not guilty of hsif Thin things you've
r. ad TO me-" said Pat. looking at the court /;
but did have bit of a row last Saturday
was week: an dunno jist wat did, f. r
We see was stavin' drunk on the meanest
corn whiskey yer honor iver tasted"
But, Patrick, we never taste it". said
be Judge, while smile lurked In ambush
behind the grave judicial countenanoe.
"sure, now, don't SO, though" said Pat,
with a look of mingled surprise and inore-
duIty-"don't ye, though? Well, thin, yer
ought to, list once, to know how it acts, and
10 kuow how to pity poor fellow hat does.
Sure. ysr bopor grants licenses, an how do
We know the mischief yer doin' 10 honest
men l. ke myself, unless ye take drink now
and thin, jst 10 see how il makes man be
himself"
"Who gave you the liquor, Patrick ?"
asked the Court on voyage OF discovery.
well, dunno watts bis name" said Pat.
TOO honest to turn informer, while CLEAN
OF true uative humor twinkled IN his eye.
but know seed license bangin' behind
he bar Ye see, Judge, was wroughtin'
for the city, on the streets, j!et close buy. an
I was drouthy, an it was 90 handy wint
ID and took drink that orient to have hurs
baby, aDd in tin seconds l was crazy
drunk, an l dreamt that | was at Donny.
brook fair; an that's all l reminder till
mkt mornin.' when was boardin' ct Sheriff
Rysn's hotel"
But" said the Court, you are charged
With perpetrating an aggravated assault and
battery on MIR. s., the hotel keeper"
well, yer honor" said Pat, "If did, l
on gin him back jist watts 10 his OVID
v!iskY; an' If yer honor hadn't given him .
license / wouldn't We bin drunk an II l
hadn't bin drunk l wouldn't We got into
the Fl Sht; an if I hadn't We got into the
fight l wouldn't We bio here this mornin',
anyhow"
This was process of reasoning new to the
court. II was saifevident truth dressed
in plain Clothes ard while the Law was with
the court, Pat evidently had all the logic,
aud be here summed up the mischief OF the
| license system 10 few sentences
Scores of uen are made drunk every day,
Just because it Is 30 easy to obtain liquor.
| The law pisces it in reach of every man. 90
the streets Of our towns and citiee are hung
notices of "Cboice Liquors" Cool Lager"
Ale" aud Fancy Drinks" to tempt the
laboriug man to come in and spend his mo-
ney for strong drink that his family needs
for brad On the path he must walk to
and from his daily occupation he sees thete
temptations on every side. The licensed
| saloon and grcg shop afford him every ia.
city to become drunkard. His appetite.
renewed and kept alive by indulgence,
urges him on. There ls no obstacle in his
road to ruin on the other hand that road
l. op ned and made plain and easy by to
law. What wonder is it, then, that the rum
shops flourish while the families of their vic.
Tins starve9