The Springdale news., 1889-10-11
JUDICIAL lAuGhER.
The Founder ora Profession Which Prom. ises to EeNnlmtlnnIze LeraI Nathnds.


 ises to Revolutionize Legal Methods.
 ''Mr McGlue. l suppose?" said a srobust.lookin man, with an ashes of roses of nose and big mouth, walk ing into the office of that well-known merchant, the other morning.
 You'll have to excuse me just now, said the businessman, snapping his watch; I've got big case to attend to in court this morning."
 .'EXactiy!" said the stranger. Il noticed 1t on the calendar, so l called. Don't you want to engage me?"
 Are you a 1awyer?'
 "Grsat Scott! No-I haven't sunk @hat low yet. I'm a legal cachinnator. "
 "A what?n
 "Why, professional laugher. l sort O cap all the jokes of my clients s lawyer; don't you see? Exasperates the other side. Grapple with the idea, don't you?"
 Cant say do, exactly"
 Well. I'll explain. You see there is nothing so effective in q jury trial as ridiculc, satire and things. We'll, it is also a singular fact that ninety nine out of hundred jurymen never see the point of joke. no matter how plain it is; but they are always ready to chip in and follow up any one who starts laugh-just like flock of sheep.n
 Are, ehPa
 ''Yes, sir. Experience has proved that the large majority of mankind need to be told when to laugh. They have to be set in motion, so to speak, like row of bricks.
 "Yes; but
 But what has that to do with your :ase, eh? I'll tell you. You see, l sit in one of the front benches, where the jury can see me easily. and whenever your counsel cracks joke and says something funny or intended to be funny. laugh like an end-man of | minstrel show, and pound with big cane. Of course the jury joins in and the other side becomes perfectly furi- ous.h
 Makes 'em mad, eh?n said the mer- chant.
 Just breaks 'em all up. And the madder their lawyer gets the more the jury and spectators are impressed in your favor. Why, in Skeggs vs. Skinderly. last week. Iactually laughed the plaintiff clear out of court.
 Did, ehPn
 .'Yes, sir. You see. when the op- position counsel try to be funny in re- turn l serape my feet on the floor. cough, drop my stick, and look as solemn as a darky undertaken. l throw that in. though, without extra charge
 That's kind of you
 Don't mention it. Now. just retain me in your case. and I'll do you more good than all the high-priced lawyers in the country. I'll cost you just twenty-five dollars; and fl you'll make it thirty dollars. I'll also put on a couple of boys-apprentices of mine. They're not very reliable yet; but when We work together we're team-l tell you. One of 3em Is particularly promising; has a mouth almost as big as darky. and can break an ordinary window glass-not plate-glass, you know-at six feet dis tanee, by laughing at it, five times out of six. Nearly shook down the gallery while doing the 'deafening applause saHd uncomfortable merriment' at @olitical meeting at Steinway Hall the other night, and"
 ~FI--ahem!-Tll think of it. Yes. l guess you'd better drop in again this afternoon said the merchant, thoughtfully.
 And as Purify, the defendant in Me Glue vs. Purify, is now trying to effect a compromise, it is fair to suppose the specialist was engaged. - Derrick Dodd. in Puck.