Morning journal and courier., 1889-11-21
HEAVY.

First electric plant-"Are you doing 6
heavy business?' Second electric plant
"No, nght."-New York Sun.
The king of Siam has 800 wives and be
never tells one Of them that he never loved
another woman.-Pittsburg Chrenicle.Tele-
graph.
A writer says .that whipping q boy May
make him stupid. Perhaps that is true, but
we think it is more likely to make him smart
Philadelphia Gossip.
A recently published report of the weather
bureau says that ssnow storms may be look
ed for in December" We have been fearing
all along that this would be the csse.-Chi-
cago News.
using the typewriter is that he can see how
his productions will appear in print. Very
likely, too, this may be his only chance
Somerville journal.
"No thoroughly occupied man." says 6
great writer, "was yet very miserable.
Unless he was trying to amuse two.year.
old child while its mother went out calling
-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
London is in Mysteries over the Jokes oi
Barnum's clowns, but it must be remembered
that London also laughs at Punch. There is
no Immediate necessity for Mr.. Barnum to
enlarge his hat.-New York Commercial.
Advertiser.
Chicago lover-"Dear, my heart pants TO,
you while am away from here" Miss
Chicago-"Please don't use that word afte,
heart. They are not using it in Kansas City
and they know what's what there. kansas
City Globe.
Railway ofieiais-"M'sieu, your valet hai
been run over and cut into dozen pieses!'
Languid Englishman-"Haw! Be good
enough, please, to bring the piece that-haw
contains the key of my hat box-hawl"-
Half Holiday.
Landlord-Say, Bilks, should judge by
the way you pay your rent that you had
played on college football team.
Tenant-Why soa
Landlord-Well, you are always quarter
back.-Kearney Enterprise.
She-Befere we were married you prom.
ised that my path through life should b'
strewn with roses, and now have to sit NJ
nights and darn stockings. He - Yor
don't want to walk on roses barefooted, d.
youa You'd get thorns in your feet.-Texai
Siftings.
Binks (atter the estorm)-"You would neve
| mako good typewriter, my dear" Mrs
| Binks-"And why, should like to knowa I
| wasn't as intelligent AZ that hEssv in you
| Office" Binks-"It is not that, my dear
It's because you won't be dictated to."-Nev
York Sun.
Lily-"Dsarest Sophie, do tell me wha,
you think of my hat. Is this rose-colol
becoming to mep' "Oh, yes, 1t is Just the
color for you, dear" Lily ian hour later, tc
the maid)-eTake the rose-eolored hat to the
milliner's and tell her to change it for pearl
ay."-Fliegende Blatter.
Stranger-I'm an experienced barber, and
I'd like to get job in your shop.
Proprietor-You! You would never do ai
all with that bald head. A customer would
laugh if you sheuld ask him to buy a bottle
of our celebrated magic hair restorer.
That heads all right. I'd be the man thai
used the hair restorer that Jones sells in the
shop around the corner.
never thought of that. I guess you car
go to work.-Chicago Herald.
"Well, I'll be durned," remarked an old
farmer, as he stood and watched the electric
ears move off.
"Whats the matter, old gentlemanP
queriea bystander.
"Why, was just thinkin' about them
there Yankee fellers. Only few years agt
they came down here and freed the niggers
Now, durn 'em. they've come down here tc
free the mules. s."-Atlanta Constitution.
How she firted with me
That year down by the sea-,
AS we stroiled on the wave-beaten sand.
How she laughed me to scorn
When, with wild passion torn,
AS her lover sued for her hand.
But no more repine,
For requital is mine,
was never SO gay In my lite;
While my rivals success
Gives him now keen distress,
| Fer he wishes she wasn't his wife!
-Somerviile Journal.