Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-07-28
VICTIMS OF IMPULSE.
Men Forced to Die by Self
Destruction.
VERY MYSTERIOUS FASCINATION.
People Who Dread to Walk Across a
Bridge Lest They Are Impelled
te.Jump Over the Rail.

There are suicides and suicides, and
they have been written about and COM
mented on so much by people who
"never can account for men doing 80 un-
less they are insane" that possibly it is
too much like thrashing old straw or let
ting the mill do that that some one has
said can not be done-'grind again with
the water that has passed"-to tell of
some of the peculiar suicides or attempts
or desires to attempt that have come
under the writer's personal observation.
In the first place the assertion can be
truthfully made that one-half of the go,
called suicides are not suicides, but
emotional involuntary accidents. Try
among your friends to find one who has
not at some time in his life had an insane
desire to throw himself off IAN high
eminence" or cast himself under rapidly
passing train or allow himself to become
entangled in the large drive-wheel of
some immense machine like that to be
found at the water works on Chicago
avenue, and you will find that they have
to a man had some such experience.
Many men tell of irresistible desires to
make away with themselves and we
think nothing of it, but if we happen to
lose friend by the suicide route we for
get all about his struggles and endeavor
to fight off the desire to do away with
himself, and like the average Coroner's
jury say, "Killed himself while labor
ing under fit OF Temporary insanity"
This verdict moro than half the time
is wrong. 1t should be accidental sui.
eide brought on by the victims inability
to resist morbid involuntary impulse"
A young man was recently killed in
suburban village whose case this verdict
would have covered. He had repeatedly
told me of the struggle he had with him
self whenever he stood on the platform
of station while train was
passing. "John," said he one day, "if
anything ever happens to me don't let
them say that 1 was crazy. | have as
happy home as the sun shines on and
am blessed with as interesting family of
little ones as you would find in months
journey. Unfortunately for me 1 al.
lowed myself to be talked into
buying home in the suburbs.
and on that account find that have
imposed upon my self daily struggle with
the dydra-headed monster, self-destruc-
tion. cannot help it. Every time go
near a railway track l have an almost
uncomfortable desire to throw myself
under the wheels of the passing train.
Tney seem to say Come to me, come to
me- with a voice of command that
have, up to the present time, been able
to resist, but fear that my power of re-
sistanse is weakening and shall soon
give way. If 1 do old man, 1 want
you to fight the insanity theory
and explain my feelings to my
friends. OF course l might move into
the city, and had it on my tongues end
to suggest it to my wife, but this would
necessitate explanations and only worry
the little woman. may succeed in fight
ing off this foolish desire, but if do not
and am ever picked up on a shovel 1
not suicide, but an accident"
promised that this should be done
and tried to make light of what 1 called
his foolish fears. He smiled a sickly,
faint, no-laugh.in-it smile and walked
away. Half an hour later | was told
that he had Committed suicide; thrown
himself in front of a passing train; had
stealthily hid behind a water-tank, and
as the train dashed by flung himself in
front of the engine and been ground 80
fine that he had to be gathered together
with shovel"
People could not understand it. And
finally all, with the exception of myself,
believed that the Coroner's jury made no
mistake when they brought in verdict
of suicide while insane.
The foregoing account of one mans in
ability to resist the morbid desire to do
something horrible is only one case in
thousands. If the struggles that are 60
ing on daily, made sometimes by near
est and dearest friends, could be laid
bare, the expose would be frightful
one. In certain building in this city
which l frequently visit, there is large
rotunda. Around this rotunda runs a
spiral staircase, the banister of which is
low and is made to continue on after
leaving the stairs at the sixth floor and
acts as guard rail for the top floor.
1t is altogether too low, and any
six-footer falling against it would proba.
bly, fall over into the pit of the
rotunda. 1 have heard several of the
men engaged on the sixth floor of this
building tell in matter of fact (but to
me horrible) way of the desire that took
possession of them whenever they ap.
preached this guard rail to throw them
selves over, and must Confess that l
have found myself edging away from it
with the indistinct, underlined, inexplic-
able fear that 1 might throw myself over
if got too close to it; and have told
others, who spoke of experiencing the
same feelings, that it was not premedi-
tated suicide if l should ever be picked
up at the bottom of that pit a shapeless,
broken mass.
There is young man in this city of
Chicago who has dread of the bridges,
and always takes to the wagon-way when
he crosses the river. He has been fshed
out of the muddy, sticky water at CLARK
street bridge once, having thrown him
self over the rail. When brought to terra
frma he could not explain why he had
jumped over. "The desire took posses
sion of me and / did it; that's ALL" said
he, when questioned about it. "I had
jumped about foot when wished from
the bottom of my heart that 1 hadn't"
he continued, "and now, to avoid rep.
etition of that act, always take to the
middle OF the road when crossing the
bridges"
Suicides ESQ called) are increasing at
an alarming rate, and opposite the name
of many man who is alive and we'll to-
day, with bright prospects, good health,
happy home, and everything on earth to
live for, the word "suicide" will be
written as the cause of his death, when
he was simply the victim of one of these
ioft