West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1889-08-08
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Cool treatment-a plate of ice cream.
Want of principal is the principal want
Of many people.
clearinghouse people ought not to
expect dressed beef in hot weather.
Love is blind which probably accounts
for the spectacles some young lovers make
Of themselves.
Everything is smooth sailing with us
when we have no difficulty in raising the
wind.-Ne,0 York Ne,cs.
A modest blush sufTused her gentle face.
For she had just been asked to wed
And she replied with sweet St Louis grace
why cert" she said.
1t is refreshing to see how tramp who
finds woodpile will pull his coat of
and lie down to sleep.-Merchant
Tracelcr.
Namby-'I hear, Pamby, that you
possess an estimable wife" Pamby
SADLY - "No, she possesses me-" -
Yantee Blade.
II like Won Jones, he can ALWAYS see
the points of my jokes" "Indeed! Since
when did he become a microscopist?"-
MEMS Outftter.
The lad who fails in his effort to run
away and be a bandit does the best he
can, and gets a situation as train boy
Merchant Trdgeler.
As the butcher adds his hand To the
weight OF the stake, he piously signs to
himself, love TO steal, a while, a weigh.
-Fiorida Times Union.
GLOW long do mosquitoes liver" asks
correspondent That depends good
deal on the kind Of fellow they light on.
Huntington Free Press.
At school.-'Now, my little dears, can
You tell me the plural Of child1" Young
stcr Qrantically raising his arm)-'Yes.
siri | can. Twins paris FEgaro.
lis an evidence quite certain
OF a wooing rather rash
When you sec q tinge Of powder
On o young mans dark noustache.
-BostOn Courie,.
Mrs. Parvenu-''No, / don't like sea
bathing. Il always gets my hair so wet. -
Mrs. Quicklyrch-"Why don't you leave
it in the dressing room7"-Burliaqto
Ffle Press.
Dr. South Church, of Boston-uTbe
dicSey birds tell me-" Mrs. South
Church Gnterruptiug with severity)--
"fhe Richard birds, Mr. Church,
No0 Togh SIM.
Fret Omohan-"And did she return
your loye| Second Omahau-"Sbe did
even better than that She returned the
iinH gave her and all the letters had
written '- O0l0h0 HorH.
Appropriate Mrs. Euborder--sThat's
very pretty motto you arc working.
hr Browne Hash. Learn 20 Say No.
Is 80 for your sonI Mrs. Browne iraash
no; ils for the dining room "-Bos-
f0 EsHN.
Dude 90 doeioD -''Anythinp ecriouelv
wrong With me. doctor7' Doctor SLOWLY,
''10ur condition is serious. but moi
necessarily fatal. ] have discovered evil
ncuces of % growth Of brains. 49, PhilodlI-
ptiu n1lircr.
Sitting Bull, who has been seriously
ili Of pneumonia, is reported "much im.
proved lic can now boz REGARDED ne n
member OF the Improved order of Red
.icu--but OF the same time he is not. -
hurtt1na Hlr0H
hdorer- "Oh. how your words cham,
me. 10 think .hat you should daiIy dis
cover more similarity between me end
your ainted husband Nay ] ask how
t.am1.eniml Young Widow (VraveIyl
.' Iou have ail Dis bad habits. -
IHE ITALIAN w1r Office has decided n Ere
me mobilization oil huuIrl,I ttl.,,..,.5 ~ t.y
~ la autumn. Iha grand Y0epe,Vers Iii
= HiVen up and Csc whole coanfry an b..
,iiee9 With this tremendous er1erir1eef
49, .iil COT ~, 800 900. a large part 81
- - 70 test the country's iodine foP ~