Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1889-06-04
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


-"Who are the fools of the human
raceP' This is an easy one. If the
query were, Who are the wiser il
would be poser. Boston Courier
-Soarandaop (grandiloquently) =
''Yes; it pays to do right. Honesty is
the best policy after ALL" Frankley-
why don't you have it renewed P'-
Time.
The drama is getting more and
more realistic. Real babies, real water,
real burglars, are among the advertised
realities. We have hopes of a future
play with real actors. = Baltimore
American.
What is the future of ireland pn
exclaimed the Senator, in earnest tones
"lreland said the new school ma'am
calmly. has no future; it is noun. -
Burdette.
AS the warmer weather comes on.
metals begin to expand. A ten-dollar
gold piece reaches great deal further
when the gas-man and the goldman
have relaxed their grip.
--Clementine had known you
married me only for my money would
never have accepted you" Montague
-"And II I'd known you were going to
be so close with it | would never have
proposed. Life.
Miss Backbite (who has been die.
deeds) Nov, you know. never re-
peat scandals s." Mrs. Candor -.
mo, my DEAR I've heard you invent
them. "-Philadelphia Press.
Picture Dealer (exhibiting paint
ing)-'That sir, is genuine Turner"
Purchaser Yes, | see. You have to
turn 1t around good many times be-
fore you can make out what it is. ~
America.
Old Lady -"My dear. do you really
think you are fit to BECOME minister's
wifep' Engaged Niece (from the
West) Yes. indeed. | don't mind
being talked about at all. IN. Y.
Weekly.
-Father-''W Well. how did you come
out on the bean-guessing contestp'
Dull boy--"I guessed there was $50
beans in the jar, and there was g. POO. F."
Father (sadly)-"rm afraid you'll
never be fit for any thing but weather
bureau chief. Philadelphia Record
"A warning; Jay Gould will pass
through Tor go through the city at
two o'clock this afternoon, en- route to
the Southwest If the citizens will ex-
hlbit little activity, perhaps they can
get the town nailed down before Mr.
Gould arrives. Terre Haute Express
Husband 'Well, love, have you
some cold chicken for supper, as you
promisedP' Newly-mude bride ''Yes,
darling; bought n beautiful live
chicken, and it has been yelling in the
refrigerator for more than two hours.
l think it must be cold by this time. -
Lowell Citizen.
Yes said Dumley. proudly, 81
was n soldier in the warof the rebellion,
and If do say it myself, made good
one" The thrill of admiration which
was about TO start through the party
was suddenly stopped by Featherly,
who said musingly; Let me see.
Dumley, it was in 81. wasn't it, that
you we're drafted Pr Epoch.
jones Ito Brown who had just
dropped in to borrow tiver) We'll,
I'll do it this time, but | wonder you
are ashamed to he always in debt
Look at me. | don't owe penny
Brown-'Dare say not, old man. You
haven't a borrowing face. Nobody
would trust you. Pick Me Up.
II remember riding homo in q
horse-car with Henry W. Paine one
day remarked IA story-teller, apropos
of this eminent Maine jurist paine
was reading n sheepskin-bound volume
OF law reports. A mutual acquaintance
hailed him and said See here, Paine,
do you have to study law stillP' This
isn't law, said Paine, it's only col
lection OF decisions of the Massachu-
sets Supreme Court. - Lewiston
Journal.