Morning journal and courier., 1889-01-26
ARTFUL.

It is an artful caprice on the part of cer- tain Boston girl to dissuade her family so to choose their apartments that all her letters must come addressed to "Suite 1."-Com- monwealth.
 Judge (to defendaAt)-You take in wash- ing for living?
 Irate and injured plaintiff Gnte1ruptingly) Yer right, Mars Jedgei Oats dc vey thing. She tek hit in fur fack; but she doan new gie it out no mo'.-Harper's Weekly.
 Freddy B. is troubled about his wan com- plexion, and wants to know if we can recom- mend some exercise that will bring flush to his cheeks. An athlete who has tried it, Freddy, says the best thing you can do is te sit down on your stiff hat in a crowded church.-Lffe.
 At Tampa Bay.-Miss Brentwood (just ar- rived)-"Going fishing, MT. Chadwicka' MT. Chadwick-"Yes; the tarpon are running over by the point" Miss Brentwood-"Dont forget us at the cottage if you get any. Just two or three, you know, for auntie. She's so fond of fish. ."-Time.
 A gentleman recently returned from drive through the country towns of New York, as- serts that he has not very much objection to a cottage that is consistently Queen Anne all through, but he evinces strong antipathy to those houses-and their name is legion "that are Queen Anne in front and Mary Anne at the back. ."-Harper's Magazine.
 Small boy (to society young man, calling) You must have eat good deal yesterday evening, didn't you, MT. Brickybracka
 MT. Bon the contrary, Tomnie, I didn't eat anything. was doing the receptions.
 Small boy-Well, that's funny. Sister said she saw you, and you were so full you couldn't hardly walk.-Waehington Critic.
 A Lowell minister has been preaching whole, ought to be as inspiring as Robert Elsmere." New Bedford clergymen can't preach about the new postef6ce at present, but they might treat the topic generally from the text Hope Deferred Msketh the Heart Sick. ."-New Bedford Daily Mercury.
 ''Look at that now," said an Irishman as, in company with friend, he passed couple of Italians who were engaged in an animated conversation. "Well, what of it. They are talking to each other, nothing more." "Yis, but here's the wan thing Oi want to know" "What is thatf" tHow the divil can they tell phwat they're talkin' abouta"-Merchant Traveller.
 An Invitation He Can Use.-General Har- rison Cmpatiently)- the man away. I've been bored by office seekers all day, and don't want to see any peddlers." Domestic -"That's what told him but he won't go. He says he is the inventor of button-hele with an automatic steel-trap and buzz saw attachment that can be concealed under the lapel of the coat -" General Harrison (o8gerly)-'S SenQ nm ln. .'-Cn1cagO1 1rlDune. Nearing the Limit.-We have been repeat edly asked why we did not open on the C.. and s. railroad for it's slow time, miserable old cars, rough road, high rates and general ly incompetent service. It is because we have been expecting an annual pass from the I road. We applied for it three months ago, | but have heard nothing as yet. We are | nearing the limit. If that pass is not here \ inside of a fortnight we shall sound our bu- | gle in manner to make the officials of the load wish they had never been born.-Ari~ zona Kicker, in Detroit Free Press. | A sanitary officer who was sent to house on Catherine street to see about savage dog who had bitten neighbor, was met by the allegation
 Dot dog vhas not so dangerous as vhas | myself"
 But he bit man."
 "Of course he did, but dot vhas mis- | take"
 l 'Howf'
 "Vhell, he beliefs dot man vhas going to bite him, und so he got in der first bite. Lots of times if belief some mans vhas 1 going to hit me shump in und knock him l first. Dot man vhas to blame. und you should go cop und kin him. ."-Detroit Free Press.