Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1889-06-19
MEDICINE LODGE. KANSAS, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 49, 1889 =
SUCCESS In MARRIAGE.
The Sensible Views OF an Ex.
tremely Sensible Woman.

Something About the Secrets of = Perfecs
Home Life = The Science OF Good
House-Keeping-How to Bear the
Unpleasant Things Of Life.
On the much mooted question, SIS Mar
riage Failure?" lady writes to the Chica-
go Inter Ocean soms remarks so sensible
that we can not but quote them for the
benefit Of our readers:
A woman makes failure of marriage
unless she makes an effort to do q great
deal more than is implied in her marriage
contract 1t is supposed that the husband
supplies the material for the home, and
they are very raw materials indeed unless
the wife takes hold Of those means with
the hand Of q creator, building up out of
them helps and associations loved and
needed by both. And q woman must put
her soul into her house, or it is q hollow
and sounding she'll
As high as we must rate the accomplish
ment Of good housekeeping, it il not all in
the making Of q home. know lady who
was marked failure as a housekeeper who
was the idol Of her husband, and who
graduated to the world family of accom-
plished and honored children. And there are
women who in pain and weakness are con-
lined to their own rooms, yet who manage
70 hold the power In an orderly house and
MI it full Of love-light and happiness sum-
cieEt for the comfort Of all who cross its
threshold.
1t is the quality of recognizing and filing
need that is the essential quality of success
In marriage. Practically. il o man comes
home from business with headache, hun
cry for bit Of sympathy and love, and q
good deal OF quiet, and finds his wife in a
~ q volt Av1kn nlaI.
and IS ordered to keep out Of the way and
amuss the children till the great proceeding
Is eliminated, he is about as unfortunate as
the man who brings college friend home
to dinner and finds his wife in wrapper and
shppers deep in q French novel. But the
woman who spies the coming friend from
the window slides out of her wrapper in q
twinkle and appears upon the scene in due
time with a soul-cheering cup of French
co1ee, Is the woman who makes her hus.
band envied among men.
Unfortunately women have hobbies, and
ride and ride and never perceive that they
are boring their companions to death.
There are men who would go to war to be rid
OF paper flowers. hair flowers, rugs, tides
and what not; and there are men who think
art and music are inventions Of the evil one
to make people miserable. Any one, any
pense OF other peoples comfort is making q
failure Of life; but true politeness of the
heart between friend and friend, man and
wife, will obviate the danger Of overdone
amusementS.
1t Is easier to forgive virtuouS excess of
zeal, and it is mostly excess Of zeal for ex-
cellence Of some kind that causes some
women to be more exclusively housewives
than wives Of men. The greatest charity
should be extended to q woman who makes
her house so perfect in detail and pol
ished in appearance that her friends 60 into
1t with fear and trembling, for she is af1ict-
ed with virtuous zeal, and has only over
drawn very good thing. Housekeeping
has its fanatics and martyrs as well as any
other good cause.
But housekeeping conducted as a means
OF happiness and comfort, either In cabin
or palace, is q science that no wife can
neglect If she wishes to sustain the law of
mutual helpfulness in marriage.
A wife expects her husband upon mar
riage to begin course of toiling for her
support without remission or any suspen-
sion Of responsibility, and why should he
not expect her to aspire to the greatest
excellence in home-makingl Just here is
where the wedge Of dissolution frequently
enters. A woman fails to give as much as
she receives-that is, she works from COM
pulsion more than from desire to keep up
her side OF the partnership with dignity
and grace.
But one says: 81 work all the time; 1
work like slave" Yes, my dear, YOU do
work like . slave-just like slave, and not
like responsible being seeking an end and
not the means. You have braided little
Eva's dress up and down and allover, which
does not help little Eva, and your hus band
would have appreciated you more had you
spent your evenings with folded hands and
happy face In your rockingham by his
side. You spend hours of time on unneces
sary things and forget the essentials ofyour
partnership, which 10 to evolve a. much
peace and comfort as possible out Of your
materials.
The science Of good housekeeping in
these days, when we can buy so many oon-
ventences, Is not 80 much superiority in
any one thing as general excellence in
every thing. We do not need cooking
schools for girls so much as schools where
all branches, OF home-making are taught, in
order TO preserve the balance Of usefulness
in the girls mind. A man does not want to
marry chef de cuisine, and II L. no won
der the papers make fun Of cookiRg-schnols.
To learn one department Of housekeeping
TO the neglect Of every thing else is ruinous.
II woman is to marry, there is nothing
so much to be valued as good health and
good sense and . very loving heart, and
then 1t viii follow that she viii adapt her
self to the calls upon her ability. When a
woman marries for life Of ease and doe.n,t
get 1t, there 10 certainly NO remedy In her
case so long as she forgets that life is
struggle anywhere, and feels that she
should De excused from helping to carry
the burdens Of those by whom she may be
surrounded
The mutual bearance and forbearance of
life is as greatly the secret of happiness in
marriage as in any thing else. We have TO
tolerate unpleasant things in our COM
panions In any relations of life, and why
try to obuild up a law Of marriage In any
other wayl