Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-29
ON THE SIDE.

Smokeless powder isn't an enti rely new
invention. Women of this country have
been using it for a long time now.
Wanamaker is the member of the cabinet
who suits most people. He is also supposed
TO stand clothes to the administration
It is unfortunate that the coming eclipse OF
the sun will cover west Africa. Things in
that country are dark enough already.
The emperor OF Japan has just moved into
n -four. mi llion-d ollar palace. Their desire to
initiate our Jefrersonian simplicity is yet in
q crude state.
The wOnan's rights party Is doing all it
can to catch the public eye. Better so back
to the old plan, girls, of carryiugan umbrella
along q crowded street.
IL China refuses to have any further COM
mercial intercourse with this country, our
favorite cup of tea will become q thing Of the
past. So long, Oolongl
President Harrison's stampede to the
mountains of Virginia has been explained.
Fall house-cleaning has been inaugurated at
the presidential mansion.
The 'dead'' electric wires continue TO put
everyone who comes in contact with them In
a similar condition. A great many shocking
accidents are rep orted from this source.
a beautiful young lady of West Virginia
has been stealing horses. She il said to DO
uncommonly pretty. and has such a taking
manner ttat even a horse when wanted,
could not say neigh.
Some people thin X IL would be a sad com
mentary on ourinstitutions il sullivan should
go from the penitentiary to congress 1t Is q
much sadder commentary, however, that more
men do not go from congress TO the peni-
Tertiary.
A man in Marona, Ilin OILS, offers to bet
any sum that he can sleep longer at a time
than any other man in the world. Here's q
chance 70, the members of the Chicago DO.
lice force to make some extra money for
Christmas.
The Salvation army, the English sparrow
and the Canada thistle are three things
which Great Britain and her provinces have
bequeathed to this country. Isn't it about
time to engage ia another war with the
motherland 2
someone has initiated the emperor of
China into the mysteries of that popular
game known as "tit for tat" He is going to
play it on the Americans at once, and will
quite likely demand their expulsion from his
kingdom at an early date.
A Denver bank cashier has stolen what
money he wanted. and departed to Mexico.
If the & eat Canadian industry of receiving
bank cashiers is to be turned into another
channel, that province will no longer have
an object in refusing to annex.
Just now when the head Of the family
scans the bill for his winters coal is wnen
he most heartily wishes he had bought fewer
boxes of strawberries last spring.
The season for ~fre-hies is past, hut fire.
bugs are still in active operation in various
localities.
The autumnal house cleaning days are at
hand, when the dust arising from the whip
ping of carpets gives the air a hazy appear
ance, romantically spoken of as Indian sum.
mer.
The Methodist conferences are now being
held and for the next few weeks the min
listers of that church will be kept busy IN
settling up with their old congregations and
settling down with the new.
Now that the summer resorts are aban
doned, the sea serpent is beginning to look
for winter quarters.
Another pretty young woman Is charged
with poisoning her uncongenial husband and
DOMINIC his wealth with her Widows weeds.
The mawkish sentiment expended on Mrs.
Maybrick is bearing fruit.
Now that the Omaha and Council Bluffs
Motor company is threatened with a rival
line over the Union Pacific bridge, it may
see a fair profit in a five cent fare after all.
jeff Davis is arranging some war articles
for the magazines. Jeff writes only on the
south side of the paper.
1t is time for Tascott to quit wandering
and come home and lecture.
1t begins TO look very much as if Chicago
has decided to let New York have the
league pail pennant and keep the worlds
fair for herself.
The public will be glad when the noisy
buzzing variety of electric motor cars are
classed among the things that "whirr."
President Harrison should put the pension
commissIonership on ice and arrange q
scheme to raffie it of.
The destruction by fire of the Temple Of
Heaven IN Pekin will seriously blockade the
Celestial route to salvation. Agents Of rival
roads should take advantage of the calamity
by offering excursion rates.
The Temple of Heaven, at Pekin,' con-
tanning the dragon throne, has been do
stroyed by fire. Holy smokel
A soap trust has been organized at Cleve-
land. This has no doubt been done TO pro-
mote anarchy.
A couple were united In marriage In the
speed ring at the Holt county far. 1t ID to
hoped that the span will trot together until
lifc's race is won, and mover entertain u de-
sire to balk or kick out of the traces.
The news columns of the press are con-
tinually recount!ng the fearful accidents
which befall parachute jumpers. 1t Is tims
to shoot the parachute.