Los Angeles daily herald., 1889-11-18
STREET STORIES.
Told by Various People OF
the City.
SOME GOOD PUNs AND REToRTs.
The Mayor Got Snubbed-Little Wal
lies Bright Idea-The Boy
and the Yeast Powder.


retorts laid to his account by the gcssips OF the
street than Il. F. Spence, the President OF the
First Natinnsl Bank. II his biography ever
xets written, the Boswell who undertakes the
lob will have to devote special volume to the
Don mots which are attributed to him. In the
making of puns he has special facility, and
contrary to the precedent in such cases made
and provided. his puns are always good Here
is q sample. When the celebration of the open
ing of the East Side cable took place few
weeks ago Mr.. Spence occupied seat In the
nrat car that went over the viaduct. As the
srain passed between the long ranks of
marching school children photog-
rspher was noticed preparing his cam
era to take a picture OF the scene. Joe
Mesmer, who was one OF the principal man
ayers of the celebration, was running about
keeping the children out Of the way OF the cars
and issuing orders to The leaders.
"That man is going to take photograph OF
the group" said someone "How do you sup-
pose he win get the children to stand atill long
"Perfectly easy" said Mr. Spence. promptly.
HE will have Joe Mesmerize them"
ONE ON THE MAYOR.
Mayor Hazard like most other public officers.
lAbOrs occasionally under the disadvantage OF
having his best intentions misunderstood, but
the worst experience of this sort with which he
ever met took place short time ago. II was
hate in the evening, and he and his much
admired lady were sitting in front room OF
their home on Fort street. Mrs. Hazard
happened to look out through the screen door
and saw q well-dressed lady leaning against
the front fence. She was alone, and seemed to
be In trouble. Mrs. Heard called the Mayors
attention to the fact.
II think something Is the matter. Harry"
said she; you had better ask the lady if YOU
san be Of any assistance to her,"
MI IA HszsEd promptly Wept out
lady. she evidently did not notice him until
he came up, and started back when she heard
"Msdame." !" said he. in his best Sunday tone
OF voice, II noticed you standing here, and I
thought perhaps I might be of assistance to
''sirr' she exclaimed Aercely. "How dare
you venture to address mew
"You seemed to be in trouble" stammered
his honor, land thought"
II was out looking for my dog" snapped the
lady, "snd 1t Is none OF your business. Sir"
With that she turned and wslaed away. Mr..
paigns he has been called a variety of things
but that this is the first time he was ever taken
for o masher.
BRIGHT BOY.
Little Wallie Rddinger, who recently played
Lord Fauntleroy with such success in this city
n probably one of the keenest children of his
age in the country, but on the night when the
Senatorial party he had bright idea that IN
fortunately came too late Just after be had
acted the scene in which he says. First ]
thought would be President OF the United
States, but now I've got to be an Earl" he ran
mp to Mr.. Norris, the trsiner Of the company
ana said: 10, why didn't. think in time
just after spot 1t thought that ought to
have taid that was going to be Senator oi
the United m states; , j. Know al those Senator,
will ever have the chance again."
MOVING A GRAVEYARD.
The Mayors Clerk, W. w. Robinson, acts az
Secretary CT the various boards that meet fol
the transaction OF the city's business, and mo-
nfrequently hvens things up by his character
istic remarks. Some time ago at meeting @!
the Board of Health the question of the NOV
ing of . certain graveyard was under discus
shat an effort had been made once before tt
move the yard, but that the deriaking hat
citizen whose vile wss burl, d there
Yes, but thai was long time ago." sait
come one.
"His opposition will be twice as fierce now,
remarked Robinson, ''for he has two wiyei
buried there"
THE BOY WHO HAD RELATIVES
One evening when the Agricultural Fair wa,
in full blsst at the Pavilion, N. B. Higgin,
local yeast powder was exhibited. A Pile Of
small packages 10 be given away to visitors lay
after cycling the pile for minute, asked the
Secretary of the Chamber of Commerce If he
could have one, Mr.. Higgins assured him thai
he might, and the youngster slowed it away III
his capacious pocket A moment later he re
turned and said: "was that one for me or 70,
my mother"
T.
Higgins.
"1hen can have one for my mother"
he was informed that he might, and another
package disappeared in his pocket he went
away TO short distance and thought it over
Then he returned and asked whether his
father was included in the deal. He got one
for his father. His next trip was devoted to
the interest of his sister, whose name Mr.. Hig.
gins required him TO give, and the one after
that covered his brother.
1t was evident that he had got to the end OF
the list of his relatives, and Mr.. Higgins think.
ing the incident had come to an end was about
to leave the booth before he had to answer any
more questions about the bsking powder
Just then the small boy returned and in hesi-
tating and awkward fashion asked for O pack.
age for his ''other BROTHER" whose name he
gave.
It was a perfectly clear case of msnufac-
tured relative. The boy blushed and hung his
head like an inexperienced liar, but Mr.. Hig-
gins pretended to believe him, and handed
over the pac kage. The boy went away and hid
behind banana tree while he thought up q
good name for another sister. Then he began
ON grandparents, and followed these up with
Aunts and unoles. The pile grew smaller and
smaller. Finally the little fellow succeeded In
thinking up enough cousins to completely wipe
1t out. and he went away, his pockets bulging 9
ont In all directions with the fruits of his fraud