The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-05-18
THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.


quisical attitude and asked
where are you from ?"
"Streator.'
Sorry, but you'll have to go to the place
below
The Streator man sadly made his way TO
the lower floor, where Satan was on guard.
After his preliminary examination was
completed and he was half way inside the
gates Satan suddenly halted him WITH
"..You are not from Streator, hope"
Yes" fairly shrieked the applicant
fearing some horrible punishment,
"Well, you can't come in here then
get along"
Have mercy! Great guns-must l so
back to Streator: Anything but that"
*x*
Speaking about imagination" said a
young Sundayschool teacher TO me the
other day, 81 once experienced what
religious fanatic would have termed a rev.
elation. | had been up the river fishing,
and having Indifferent luck, lOunged about
under the trees until late in the evening. 1t
was perhaps nine o'clock when | launched
my boat to move hOmeward. The day had
been very warm. The sun had beat down
from cloudless sky all day and when
evening fell the stars lighted up the river
until 1t glowed as if with thousands of
firefiies. A warm breeze from the south
made the evening perfectly delightful.
The surroundings were peculiarly Undue
tive of religious thought and | uncoI-
sciously hummed Jesus Lover of my
Soul" The air seemed so sweet that l
soon lost all sense of the presence Of boat
and. land, and the river, and | was sing
ing softly in a clear voice. My eyes
we're directed by some hidden impulse tor
ward the starry armament above, and, as |
am sitting here, rift appeared In the blue
vault and through it | saw a great white
throne upon which superb being of daz'
zling beauty was seated. His face and
form glowed with an intense white light
that dazzled me. and in an instant the rift
closed again. What l imagined saw was
but the mental picture of the divinity
which L had been taught from childhood
10 expect to see when | pass through the
great ordeal. 1t was not common expe,
rience-I would not care to pass through
ii again."
dislike to doubt the young mans word.
Perhaps he fell asleep in his boat, Or, it
may be, that his tea was little too strong.
-
There is no one so patient as mother.
This fact was wildly illustrated last Satur-
day afternoon, on North Columbus street.
A woman of large dimensions was en-
gagged In doing the family washing in the
back yard. Her small boy, baby CT four
years, was industriously engaged in con-
verting the gutter into mud pie manu-.
factory.
"Tamie!r
Yeth, ma"
"Now will you come in out of that mas
ty muddy street,"
"Yeth, ma"
This occurred at about half past four
O'Clock as was on my way to the bluff l
returned an hour later jamie was still
manufacturing mud pies. Indeed, he res
embed a mud pie in greater degree
than he did small boy. The voice |
from the back yard was still vibrating
Jamie"
Scene-Police Court. Two tramps on
trial.
Weeks Qoquiter)-"What's you name?"
First tramp-"John Dolittle."
Weeks" Where are you from ~ !
F. t" Hay loft and boxcar"
Weeks" What's your name?"
Second tramp-"JOhn Doless"
Weeks" What do you expect to do?"
Both" Look for free lunch"
Ten minutes later they were heading for
the country at lively gait, with an officer
quietly experimenting their election.
CNhhS NLiNhAC oAlCl tNO years dDSp0Cel
" Hello, Smith, old fellow! Why, where
have you been keeping yourself? You
look pale-been ILL.,"
Smith (who has just finished six
months term in jaiD-" Er-yes! Glad to
see you. I've been confined to my room
for several MONTHS
Johns" Too bad, old boy"
And Smith kept out of sight until he
went away again, for, of course, some
mean cuss" would tell Johns of 1t.
*4*
Life in the county Jail Is free from the {
cares of business and society. One does .
not contract laundry bills and colds and ,
wet feet. Inside its walls all is serene. No
hand Of crime may enter here and despon .
the inmate of life and cash. Meals are
served regularly, and as all are awakened .
At the same moment no one IL given "a :