New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-03-17
4 DELICATE QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE

Springfield, Mass, Is feverish and troubled with
insomnia these days. Nor is the pigs-in-clover
puzzle, as might be suspected, responsible for her
abnormal condition. II is a delicate social aues-
ton which is undermining her constitution A
sensitive young gentleman wrote TO The Spring
field Union the other day 10 inquire how he should
Behave on rainy day on overtal1ing young
lady with whom he is unacquainted, he having an
umbrella and she having none. Should he hurry
by, pretending not 70 notice her9 Or, should he
offer TO share the umbrella with hera Or, should
he give IL to her, and get wet himself? Such Is
the complex problem which the sensitive young
man submitted 10 the oracle who occupies the
chair Of Applied Etiquette in The Unions office.
The oracle being thus appealed TO responded,
after the manner Of his class, by polite evasion.
Here is the unnutrltious stone which he served up
to the sensitive young man who was hungering for
the bread OF knowledge:
The golden r1lo misht work well in some cases
and I'm others tho offer OF share Of the umbrella
would bo regarded impcrtinence. Perhaps It
might Be well to hunt up mutual S orr en 81 a sSssT
II may DO that other readers Of The Union can
solve this problem.
Well other readers Of The Union" have ad-
dressed themselves in good earnest 70 the ques-
ton, the interest in it has grown by what 1t has
fed upon. and the consequence is that to-day all
three parts One Of these parts is made up Of
those who maintain that the sensitive young man
must walk hurriedly past the umbrellaless young
lady, pretending not to notice her. This part
naturally Is made up chiefly Of that portion OF
Springheld's population which is afflicted with
dyspepsia or has been crossed in love. second
class argues that the sensitive young man must
ask beauty In distress IN. B-Al the young ladies
OF Springfield are beautifully 20 share his UNI
breIh with him. In this class are most OF the
young sympathetic optimistic souls Of the town.
A third element insists that the sensitive young
man must nobly give the umbrella TO the girl and
get wet himself The descendants of Sir Walter
Raleigh who reside in Springfield. and other
persons OF q distinctively romantic turn OF mind,
are in this class or course, the sensitive young
man remains in doubt as to what he ought 10 do in
the circumstances, and thinks OF Kidding himself
Of his umbrella.
IL is interesting to mote that the three classes
agree that Tho Unions" suggestion that mutual
friend be hunted up so that the sensitive young
man can be introduced to the young lady Is too
preposterous II frequently rains in Springfield
steadily and with great violence. Suppose the
young lady without an umbp liz should be caught
out In such q storm and IL took the sensitive young
man an hour or an hour and half TO hunt up q
mutual friend. What would be the reSultp Why
by the time the sensitive young man came to the
rescue Of tho young lady she would be so dripping
wet that an umbrella would be object. Be
sides, the friend whom the young man summoned
to his assistance might turn out not to be
mutual" and then what? Springfield Is q
sefcontalned city, and the refore, prefers TO work
out the problem which thus far has ba0led her
without any suggestion from outsiders. Were 1t
otherwise wo sh ,uld advise the sensitive young
ma to give the girl his umbrella, having first
securely tied to its handle q card bearing his ad-
dress in plain hnnd. True, he will get wet, but
the glow at his heart will prevent him from taking
cold. especially, as is likely TO happen, IL the
umbrella which he generously places OF her dis
posal Is one which he had borrowed