Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-11-01
PITII AND POINT.

I1lIi AND PUlNI.
The matter Of Il day-Twelvc hours.
Speaking about ''cotton bagging," is
it ut the lSnees?-PittSJary Chronicle.
A lecture on fruit should always begin
with pear oration.--lierchaM I'rareler.
Hens arc kept busy finding the means
for moving their crops.-Itsas !SJlings.
Hay fever will make the most unassum-
ing man blow his own horn.-Ttrre
Haute Express.
A man who OWES Il goat has only TO
earn his bread; he has his butter for
nothing. Rochester Pest.
Pat Parscs -NIission Tcachcr-:.P Pat,
what part of speech is butt" Pat
"Bcdad, sorr, its Il raln part o srachc.'
My love hath eyes which rival stars,
Her checks would Shame the rose,
But must needs confession make
do rot like her ''noes.'
Epoch.
1t is customary for duelists to shake
hands just before fight AID TO keep
shaking for some time af;crward. -Staies.
man.
''Therc, I've forgotten my medicine"
."Well, you want IN be careful; first
thing you know You'll he getting well. -
Life
Mr.. Edison is going to visit Krupp's
works ut Essen. He expects 10 meet thcr.
some of the biggest guns i'll Europe
Boston HeraN.
"What are you laughing att" II was
thinking of how fathers hand must have
burned after he boxed my cars to day"
-Fhegende Blaetier.
Why am sud? An awful dread
Haun;s nc aud will not down.
fear my su!Arlcr girl will meet,
My other girl III town.
detroit Free Press
4 railroad lii Chicago is so crooked
that the conductor can stand Oil tlio rear
end of Il passenger train going around II
curve and fire tramps of the baggage
car.
First Newspaper Man-"Did you do
any literary work OH your VOYAGE across?r
Second Newspaper MaE--"Yos, con
tributed extensively TO the Ailantic."--
ltck's SIN.
Bridc-"Gcorgc, dear. when we reach
town let us try to avoid leaving the i'm
preston that we are married. "Ail
right, Maudc; you can lug this valise. :"
-Ncdias6u JourNM.
lie was Il baseball player,
Who made II lass his bride.
Aud folks remarked when they were wed
AM now rilc score is Iicdr
Laurence american.
Mrs. Ga5blc Qeading Il newspapcr)-
tin India tbr lvn,nnn uro c1nt ~,
Gabblc-"Thcy are, ch? didn't know
that it was possible to shut up a woman
in any country. "-SUtiags.
Extra ordinary -Smith-"Looll here,
Brown, we'll soon decide the matter;
let's ask the waiter Waiter, are toma-
toes fruit or vcgetablc?" Waiter
"Neither, sir. Tomatoes is Il hcxtra!"
-Fhnny FOLKS.
81 really don't Sc what is the matte,
with my razor to-day. 1t is so dull that
it don't cut ut ALL" said Johnny's pa.
"Why, pa said Johnny, at was sharp
the other day when used ii 10 make Il
ship with. "-heoch.
Mr.. Clubman -''My private secretary,
young Niccfcllow, says he isan acnuaint-
ancc of yours" Miss Cityhelc-''What
impudence! never met him except at
the seaside, and last summer / even re-
fused to become engaged TO him again. :"
--Nt'O YORK. 'i5el!y.
Modest.-''Doctor, will you lei me
know how much I owe youl" "Oh, my
good woman, / know You are not in easy
circumstances, will not charge you any
thing for my trouble" "Yes, that is all
very well. but who is to pay the apothc-
cary!"- hHcgea,|e B!aetier.
Father" said the boy, 81 am going
to leave the farm. I've been rather
reckless, and I've decided 10 go out and
see what | can do for myself" "All
right, Sonny" responded the aged sire.
-."Good-bye; and I'll state I'll be ready to
kill aveal about next spring. Washing,
ton Cdptdl.