The Arizona sentinel. [volume] (Arizona City [Yuma], Yuma County, A.T. [Ariz.]) 1872-1911, 1889-03-30
HONEST CARL DUNDER.
Some of the Things That Bother the Big
Hearted Teuton.

Some of the Things That Bother the Big
Hearted Teuton.
If she vhas a cold day somepody
wants to know if he vhas cold enough
for me. Can have it shust so cold or
warm? Was l to be der shudge?
If he vhas hot day somepody wants
to know if she vhas hot enough for
me. Suppose he was or wasn't? Can
hat dot weather like want him?
If 1 ship down on our sidewalk,
more ash ten peoples come around und
say: ''Eh, Dunder, did you fall down."
If doan fall down, how vhas l dere?
| lend a man some money und he
pays her back und it vhas all right L
lend him some more und he shumps
oudt und eaferpody says: "Nhas
fool you vhas! you ought to have
known better"
Last summer like to hire man for
ten shilling day to work around my
house. can't find nopody. As soon as
winter comes und nopody can work
more ash feefty fellers strike me for
quarter und say der poor vhas growing
poorer eafery day.
If it vhas so warm in der winter dot
nopody can cut ice der newspapers
vhas saying dot der peoples Will be
robbed next summer by der ice man.
If it vhas so cold dot der ice vhas two
feet thick der newspapers vhas saying
dot der coal man vhas squeezing der
Likelihood ont Of der country.
When der days .vhas short der gas
man says my bill vhas high because
der eafnings vhas so long. When der
days was long he says l must expect
big bills because hat so much COM
pany.
If l make some shange for Gus
toner und gif him ten cents too much,
he puts it in his pocket and says hon.
esty vhas der best policy. If dot
shange vhas ten cents short, he makes
a great row and says dere vhas no in
ducement in dis world for man to be
honest.
When a milkman comes in my place
for a glass of beer, he says he can
taste some hops in dot brew. When
SIP his milk and ask him where he go
dot water, he vhas so made he wants
to fight me.
A man comes in my place eafery da!
for weeks und says it vhas strange de-
peoples doan' make me GOfernor.
lend him two dollars und | doan' SCI
him again fer three months. Den
meet him Gad ask Why he doan' pay
und he says She vhas strange der PEG
pies doan' ride he on a rail.
Eafery body CONES to me und says
.vhas a good teller, Uad dot means
must help eafery body. 81 90 to som
one und call him a good fellow h
winks out of his eye at me md says
do you pellet Ivhas some greenhOrns
eh?"
Fife hoonered poys go by my hous
on a sleigh-ride, und sooch a yellin
und footing you meier heard. My pc
Shake goes out purity soon und whistle
for his dog, und a policemans CONE
along und SAYS: ''Shtop dot nOls
,Os,-.sss.ls-rs -2>-ss,s----,-si Dean, you knO
you vhas making eafery body seek!''
II 1 goes Ply some clothing shtore fc
a coat, und der price vhas too higI
der man says to me: "Dunder, 1 lik
to assure her dot doan' make feeft
cents on dot coat at feefteeu dollar.
haf only ten left.n Ibuys him, I'D
two days later | see big sign in de
papers: big drive! one million c
dose same coats at eight dollars. I'm
doan' you forget him"
One FAY man meets me und say
Liberty vhas dead und der Republi
gone oop. Der next Secondary der polio
doan' catch his saloon open und
slaps me on der back und says: Lii
erty vhas all right, und der Republi
vhas der best in der world!'
| can't make him oudt. Maybe
vhas better | doan' come to Americ;
Detroit Free Press.