The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1889-12-07
THE or1O DEMOCRAT, SATURDAY.. DECEMBER. 1889

for Blaine and Cleveland. Then /
tumbled. 1 preceived the fine
Italian hand of Blaine. i also pre-
ceived another aromatic testimon-
ial that exploded on my person and
made me wish / had not put on my
best suit. Then ] adjourned Il.
Pluribus Unum, as 1t were. Mr..
friend Doozenbury was evidently
tool of Blaine. Such as friend
ship.
Next morning l called on Har-
rison. Az first l thought he was
sneering, but discovered that he
was merely turning up his nose at
the aroma from the aromatic testi-
monials had been presented with,
and which i had been unable to
eradicate. In the language of the
poet:
"You man break, you may shatter the vase
| If yon will,
But the scent of the roses will hang round
1t still"
"Colonel Snort" said Harrison,
"you will oblige me in the future
by neglecting to get up any negro
demonstrations in my favor"
at didn't seem to be much in
your favor, Mr.. President"
"You failed ANONYMOUSLY, Col.
Snort. Dear me, what n peculiar
smell there is in this room. 1t
must be the miasmatic vapors
from the Potomac fats" said Har-
rison.
The colored stenographer enter
ed. When he saw me he exploded
with laughter and retreated.
"Mr President, said l, If you were
to fire that nigger out of a cannon
loaded with carbolic acid, maybe the
miasmatic vapors from the Poto-
mat flats would be less vOciferOus.
But to return to the ovation of last
night. None of you friends seemed
to be there"
"Colonel Snort, why didn't you
ask Mr.. Wanamaker to detail some
of his government employees to at
tend the performance and cheer
for Harrison and reform ?"
81 did tell Waaa to send down "A
lot of postal clerks to cheer for
Harrison, buthe refused to do So"
"Did he give any reason for re-
fusing?"
eyes, the fall clothing trade is
ing boom now, and the government
clerks in his department are busy
sending out business circulars
about avercoats, gentiemaniy un-
derware, etc"
"Did he, himself attend" p"
"No; he said it was his prayer
meeting night. He said, moreover
it was wicked to attend minstrel
performances for political pur-
poses"
"Where were your Southern Re-
publican office seekers, who infest
Washington and bore me for faI
offices ?" asked Harrison angrily.
"Mr President, gave over 40 Of
them so cents apiece to pay ad
, mission to the performance, and
, told them to yell the lining of
their throats bowling for Harrison
and reform, but they didn't show
r up"
/, "Why didn't they?" e,
"Because they spent the so cent'
1 for something to eat. Most OF them
$ haven't had a square meal "
i months"
S Our Lige entered. He, to, snick
cred, and said ssmething about M!
n not being as black AZ / was pai' t
ed. He opened all the windows
h and remarking phew! went ou
u holding his nose. Then l got NJ
Y said phew! end went out, too, hold
ing my nose.
Harrison is small potatoes
q When he crawls out of office h
q will leave hole not as big as
l. made by drawing IA knitting eedl
}. out of the Atlantic Ocean. Lik'
a the figure one on ten dollar bill
= he is next to nothing.
} A beetle can draw twenty time
- his own weight; and SO can
n mustard plaster, but Harrison can
r draw one of Watts hymns for in
ffant minds down hill.
n You would suppose that thi
!. Indiana clam would be popula
, here in Washington, but he ain
II have found it out to my sorrow
4 Verify, l feel like donning a jaunt
suit of sackcloth and ashes an
! casting myself upon the earth wit
% the force of a red-headed steI
a mothers arm. Pve half Il MOTTO
to flop back to the Democracy.
=, Your friend,