The Somerset reporter., 1889-05-02
SELECTED.
THE BLUES CURE.


There was Water Cure, a Rest Cure
and Mind Cure, in the same town; but
all three together did not do half the bus
mess of the Blues Cure. In fact, those
three establishments complained bitterly
that the Blues took away many of their
patients. They did all they could to
crush it out; they declared it to be hum
bug Il mere quack concern, with It's mys-
terious Great Golden Remedy"
In truth there was a mystery connect
ed with the Blues Cure; it was in one re-
spect something like the Loisette Mem
DRY system, for every patient had to sign
bond that he would never to any one re-
veal the secret of the Great Golden
Remedy"
The Blues Cure Office was a small, sun
shiny room opening from large, cheer
full waiting-room.
One fine October afternoon the clock
was just striking three as the doctor, ac-
companied by apatient, entered the Office
and closed the door behind him.
Tina doctor was IA jolly little man with
bald head, and beaming smile so much
like sunshine that on rainy days his great
black cat would stretch herself out be-
fore him, as though she were really
warming herself in its beams.
The patient was a tall, thin theologue,
with u lugubrious expression of the coun-
tenance, suitable for chronic attender
of funerals.
The doctors style was laconic.
whats the natter" said he.
II am subject to depression of spirits,
replied the theologue, with a deep sigh
that reused the black cat from its slum-
bers.
"When do these attacks come ou," said
the doctor, looking at him with half
closed eyes. as an artist surveys picture.
every evening"" replied the theologue.
II can't use my eyes then, and | fall to
thinking, and | get extremely down in
spirits"
"Oh, ho?" said the doctor, jumping up
and fetching a little gilt box from a Ia
BILE. II see what you ueed You must
drop your studies for time and devote
yourself to taking the Great Golden Rem
edy Follow the directions as though
your life depended on it, and you'll be
cured of the blues"
SIS that allp" said the theologue, in as
constituent.
you'll lind it enough, replied the doc
tor, as he showed him the door.
| "NeXtw he called through the ante
room door, much as lecturer directs his
assistants to throw the next picture on
the screen.
| In came a young woman of perhaps
seven and twenty, attired according to
the latest fashion.
ooh, doctor, how can | ever get over
the blues?" she asked in jerky, chopped
on, broad A style of enunciation so fash
ionable among feminine dudes.
| "What gives them to your" said the
doctor looking at her with a magnifying
glass, as if to see to what genus she be-
longed.
my looking glass" frankly answered
the young woman. at shows me that
I'm getting palmer every day. I've got
three gray hairs and one crows foot"
"Humph" said the doctor. ''We'll
| cure you, If you will obey me implicitly.
| You must follow this prescription faith
fully. Take this Great Golden Remedy
whenever you feel the symptoms coming
on. and you won't have single blue. y
SO saying, he handed her little gilt box,
like the one he gave the theologue, and
she too passed into the street.
| In came a young man.
"What gives you the blues?' said the
| smiles.
The young man hestated In answering
this question, but, rs the doctor pressed
him, he finally admitted the cause.
IL can't help thinking about myself"
said he. when l go among people,
am pursued by thoughts of my own awk-
wardness and stupidity, and keenly sensi-
tive to every little slight. This shuts my
mouth, and makes me doubly uninterest-
ing, and naturally people don't enjoy me
and then come home and brood over 1t,
and 1t really seems as If everybody was
laughing at me, and get as blue as indi-
GO"
Eyes, you're right said the doctor,
sits an aggravated case of morbid self
centeredness but if you will take this
Golden Remedy every time you get to
thinking about yourself, and take large
doses of it when you are in company,
you'll be cured as sure as fate
| The young man looked incredulous as
he took his little gilt box and his depart
ure, and went his way.
| What In the world Is the matter with
your" inquired the doctor of his next pa
tient, an elegantly attired young man.
"I'm bored to DEATH" drawled the
Young fellow. 81 was so bored with
balls and parties and everything in that
line, it was positively a relief to wake up
one morning and find had the blues, for
1t was q new sensation. But I've had
them so long now. I'm bored with them
too, and I've come here to get cured"
well" said the doctor, looking at
him through his magnifying glass till the
Young man actually blushed you'll find
nv remedy so hard to follow 1t will be
like drawing teeth; but can assure you
1t will be a new sensation and if you
stick to it, it will cure even you
I'll take it at any price," said this
afflicted representative of boredom.
NO price," said the doctor, except
secrecy. The remedy does no good If
any one else learns that you are trying it
for such purpose.
| The young man signed the bond, and
departed with a more animated express
sion ON his blase c6untenance and small
gilt box in his pocket
The next arrival was an invalid In a
rolling chair. Her pale face beamed
with pleasure.
"Oh, hol So you're back! Remedy
don't work." said the doctor, knowing
better.
II should think 1t did work" she an
swered, gaily. "You know how long the
days were as lay In my bed or sat In
my chair, knowing could never take a
step, and brooding over every ache and
pain. Well, now the days are not half
long enough to do all I want. The rem
edy has given me no much to do, and
made life entirely different to me. How
can thank you. dOctor?"
"Pshaw child I" said the good man, "do
not thank me. It's the remedy. Keep IL
up; just keep 1t up"
The doctor thus dispatched the other
half dozen patients, who called that If.
ternoon. One was . man made miserable
by his own selfish jealousy Of any atten'
tion paid his wife. Another got the
blues because she was 20 discOntentsd
with her humdrun, monotonous life. b.