The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-09-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The air of the desert-"The Camels
are Coming"
An aching void-a dudes headache.
Detroit Free Press.
No one can blame whipped cream for
turning sour.-Piedytne.
The American white man is the pale of
civilization. .--Merchdnt Traceler.
The blacksmith YIELDS iron with seal
ing whacks. 49, Washington Capitol.
The shoe dealer will do work which is
beneath other people.-Statesn'on
The best pane annihilator-The street
boy with a base ball.--Ne,o York Ne,os.
The note of the prima donna is negotia-
BILE only when indorsed by the public
Life.
An ossifed man is being exhibited.
He is the Bonypart of the museum. .-Neio
York NerS.
The rising young lawyer-The one who
interrupts the court with exceptions
Neio York Ne,es.
The affection which an aunt lavishes
upon niece or nephew is a kind of anti
dote.-Detj0H Free Press.
Worth makes the man, says the poet.
1t depends a good deal however, on how
much he IS worth. boston Courier.
In spite of their proverbial slowness,
telegraph messengers go about with
good deal of dispatch. boston Post.
All things come to those who wait is a
consoling adage to those who would
rather wait than work. - GalUest0R Nelos.
"What distinguished air that little
man has! He's almost a dwarf, too"
"Yes, he has a compressed air. Time
First Suspender Button-'Im tired of
holding up these trowsers." Second Sus-
pender Button-"Come offP-ClOthier
and FuHisher.
When a man affirms that "there's lots
of money in leather, don't dispute him
purses are made of leather.-,Shoe and
Leather Reporter.
Father to his sonl-"I don't say that
you are an idiot, but if anybody else
should say so 1 would not contradict
him. .'-Neao York Telegram.
What complication! When the
schoolmaster whips one of the girls he
hits miss. When the girl dodges she
misses hit.-Phaadelphia Press.
Man is not the only victim of the com
bination craze. Even ducks as soon as
they hatch their sggs start at once to
pool their issues. Baltimore american,
A pocketboob made of rattlesnake
hide, which is so repulsive to ladies that
they won't touch it, is having quite sale
among married men.-PittsJurg Dispatch
They used to say he was a crank,
| thought it merely scandal;
Although he seems-I must be frank
-Ne,o York SUM-
Baseball Enthusiastically the
score today" Plain Citizen-"Twenty
I suppse, just as it has always been. l
haven't heard of any change. .'-Roches-
ter Post Express.
"Wheres you pa, sonny" "He's out.
"ATa in?n "No; she's out" "BrotheI
in?n ''No; he's OUT Then you're
the only one inl" "Naw; l amt in;
three out, side out; I'm just left on
bases. .n-Burdette.
Wife-''I'll take the $50 you gave me
and buy my bonnet this morning, dear,
as you want what's left to get your hat. -
Husband-"All right, dearest I'll go
down at once and order sixty cent hat
for myself. "-Ne,0 York Sun.
A young lady named Key offered lock
of her hair to a gentleman whose offer of
marriage she had declined. He replied,
with great bitterness, that the lock would
be useless TO him without the Key
Detroit Free Press.
The stealing of an umbrella on a clear
day is held to be theft by an Omaha
Judge; but the stealing of the same arti-
Gle on a rainy day is held to be justifable
on the ground Of self-defense. We pre-
sumo this decision was rendered in order
to protect the court-B4Balo E'Press.