Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1889-09-21
HONEST cARL puNnER.


ne Encounters Several shnrpsrs And Conas'
Oat Ahead
"WellP" queried Sergeant Bendall,
as Carl Dunder entered the Wood
bridge street station the other day with
his hat worn jauntily on his ear.
''Yhel, sergeant. Ivhas going py und
shoost dropped in a leetle times
"Glad to see you You haven't been
down in some time.r
mo. haf some fellers come around
to see me again. und ! vhas busy
''Swindled again, presume.
Sergeant said Mr.. Dunder, as be
flushed clear back to his ears '.Alay
pc vhas some haystacks. und may pc
l know enough to take care of-myself.
[ vhasn't so shmart as q policemans.
but can come in when she rains
"Well, perhaps What werethe fol.
lows afterPa
'.My wife she likes to goto Lansing,
replied Mr.. Dunder. after getting over
his mad little. ''und / goes py der de-
pot 10 puy ticket"
'.How mooch vhas dot ticket to Ian,
singP'
"Two-forty."
mo less for cashP'
mo. sir.n
II gif you two-twenty."
mo, sir.
"Two-twenty-fiie.n
mo, SIR"
Den l goes by dot way OF Schack-
son, und you doan't get cent
"But that must have cost you at least
FIVE dollars"
"AleedIe more ash dot, but you see
dot udder railroad doan' get one cent
und it makes her SO mad ash nefer
was"
well. what elseP"
"A chap comes in my place last week
und looks all around und says:
"Vas dis Carl DunderP"
HE vhas."
Il was glad to see you. l heal
aboudt you all oafer. Mr. Dunder,
hav some preparation here dot il you
rub on your feet no shark will bite you.
! warrant it or gil you back your
ney."
''And you bought itP"
"Hold on sergeant. He haf shuu
twelve bottles left He asks me one
dollar bottle"
"But you--P"
"Doan' take me for mefools. / Of
fer him two shillings a bottle und he
takes 1t. He likes to beat me, but l
knock him oudt vas too sharp for
him."
"But what do you want OF the stuffP"
ITO keep sharks avhay."
"But where are the sharks?"
Mr. Dunder looked embarrassed, aud
as he did not reply the sergeant queried:
II heard something about a salt well
up your way. What sort of scheme
was thatP"
"Vhell. II make a mistake on dot
shark-grease l know vhas all right
on dot salt we'll. Some fellers put oop
a shob on me. but l knocked 'em all to
pieces. A man comes in my place und
looks all around und drinks some beer
und says:
"Vhas you Carl DunderF
II vhasn
"Vhell, l like to tell you dot / peliei
l can make salt well in your back
yard. If so you vhas der reechest man
in Detroit in two weeks. | like TO bore
und see If can find salt
''How mooch vhas der cost?'
"Vhell. you vhas a good feller und
always use the boys square und so ]
make it sheap to you. bores down
for one hoonered dollarP'
"Who you take me forF'
"But dat vhas sheap."
Il gif you shust twenty-fife dollar
und no more, und il you doant like dot
you go right oudt."
ibid he boreP" asked the sergeant.
"Yes. He comes right to my price
He bores for two days"
Find any saltP"
''Not one drop"
"And you paid him twenty-five dol
lars"
II did"
''Mr Dunder, I really hate to say
any thing to wound your feelings. but
If you aren't the greenest hay-seedest,
pumpkin-headest--"
Sergeant" interrupted the old man
as he backed for the door, "keep quietI
Doan' shpeak to me! Git me some
show to go avhay und commit der sui
eide! I vhas in dis country ten years,
but I doan' make her oudt yet No
pody vhas two times der same. vhaS
so discouraged dot go und hang my.
self Enod-nva md eaa dot I vhna