Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-04-19
PITH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT.
All heads-A cabbage field.
A Wild West show-Sunset.
The race problcm-Was it square2
A blood rclation-The dime novel.
a broken cyeglass is q sad spectacle.
The weight of the moon-Four quar-
tiers.
The knights of Morocco are mostly
Deys.
Scales that do not wcigh-Codfsh
scales.
A fast color-Brown; trotting rec
ord aiSY.
If you wish to save your solel Walk
on your heels.
The more we see of others, the more
respectfully we bow to the looking
glass.
"Beauty draws more than oxen" and
is much more ready to come under the
yoke.
The Farmers roice says: "Don't kill
the old hem" The boarding no isc board
crs' voice echoes the sentiment.
Old Lady Crushing into drug store)-
''Say, mister / want some paint.n
Obliging Clcrll-"Ys-m. Face or fence"
Judge.
If the child is father to the man, the
prerogatlves must seem 10 him tribe
mi ed when he is led out to interview
the trunk strap.
When glrl says no; but she'll be a
sister to you, it is well 10 find out
hn. hnr I'm, ~ ~, -
or the shirt button sister.
An article in an exchange is headed
"3ustllng Bees" Good. There is no
surer way to make q bee harmless than
to hustle her. Bingaampton Repu6Lisan.
The roads are not passable,
Not even jackassab,e
And those who would travel 'om
Blust get down and gravel EN-
-AHanfd Constitution.
a Kansas man hauled 500 carloads of
dirt in four weeks, and the local editor
chroniclcd it us $500 transfers of real
estate in one month. "-Det,on Free
Press.
The New York Chinese are excited be-
cause some one in the loss house has
burned the whiskers OF the IDOL It was
certainly bare-faced outrage. -Neu
York. Nstcs.
Eli Smith, '0O.-"I see the Harvard
nine is going to play with professionals
this year" Eli Brown, '5j-"No; the
professionals arc going to play with
them. "-llarrarL Lampoon
Sho-"That is painting of my grand
mother, Mr.. Foxglovc, quite recently
done" He-'Why, what startling
resemblance, Miss Pcdigrcel You look
almost enough alike to be twin sisters"
''.James," said the museum keepers
wife, "there is good deal in the papers
nowadays about these New South
Whales. think we ought to get one OF
them, even if it is only stulrcd."-
Ba;ay.
Mrs. Garrulous -"Why do people
think the Sphinx typical of wisdom,
Gcorge2" George (who is still suffering
81 guess it's because the Sphinx always
keeps its mouth shut "-Hai p rs Buzar.
Hc--"At last, my dear Amelia, the
happy moment has arrived when can
tell you how much loved you" She
''For goodness sake, MR. Tompkin ms,
don't tell it hce." Hc-"Why2 There
are no witnesses here" SheE"Thats
just it."-BurIi gton Free Press.
Mr.. Younghusband -"Now that the
weather has grown colder. my dear.
don't you think we ought to introduce a
few more heating articles of diet into
our bill of fare2' Mrs. Iounghushand
-"CertaiEly, love, ! will instruct
Bridget to serve flannel cakes to
morrow"
Tiaveler-"Say, boy, what are you
sitting there in tho snow for2 You'll
freeze to death" Boy between his
chatting teeth) why, de ole man tolo
me fer to take dc pup out an drown
him; but der ice on der creek is two feet
thick, SO thought I'd sit hero an freeze
him to death. LITE. L
She was q little maiden sweet
Who all her suitors hated
But, rs sho grew to years discreet
Her GOODNESS much aoated.
If seemed as il this maiden lone
To single life were fated;
Yet whom death claimed her for his own
At length shc was GRO mnted,
-Gooddirs San
A gentleman recently returned from
drive through the country towns of New
York asserts that he has not very much
objection to cottage that is consis.
tcntly Queen Anne all through, but he
evinccs a strong antipathy to those
houscs--and their name is lcgion-"that
arc Queen Anne in front and Mary Anne
at the back. "-Harpea's Monthly.
Husband-"My dear, these trousers
are frayed at the bottom" Wife
'Thoy are the best you've got, John,
except your dress trousers" Husband
well, give them to me. | have an
important interview on hand to. day in
which expect to be at different times
proud, naughty, indifferent, digniIied,
and perhaps trille disdainful a man
can't be all that successfully with fringe
on the bottom of his trousers. ~ Baz6r.