New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1889-06-20


good short poem the following:
Wet
Yet
The Modern Idea-Mrs Youngh,sbsnd-Oh. ChAnA
the cook got angry this morning and LETT bag end
'A Mr' YounsEHsSand~ my love. thought ~
attended cooking school for seven months
Mrs Younghusband-eo did dear, but that yes
merely Ia learn cooking as an nplishment.-tbun
ungton Free Press.
cat I'm Falkirk, Scotland, is bringing up brool
OF chickens. But the prize cat IS to be found 10 To
hamlet Of Trinity Gask. Perthshire Scotland. It d
seriously related OF her. that having beer deprived
her kittens she caught mouse, which she adopted and
Is now motherng with great tenderness
40 moody man that wearest
A sullcn. hateful flown,
Devoid Of hope and with rope
Frum which to dangie down, .
@ desperate man, take heed, tako heedr
aof gittn' scared there amt no need:
This here's laSso n I'm the boss
Dog catcher Of this town. , -.
The finest beans IN the country are grown IN Ves
mont. and next 20 them como The Deans grown
Central New-York
Good ont o; EyIl.-JOhnny Dumpsy-oh; ma
wish Won would make me pair OF home-mshe uouh
every day. .,s., ,r,r d,r,,,s,
Inhnny Dumlsev-Ieca uSe the scholars all LAUGHED
al me- 80 today that the teacher had 70 excuse ne,
sd t,vc bad a bully time fishing with BIZ Peek
'"" -(Burlngton Free Press
Professor Swing confcsses tina, he doesn't know whs
a whangdoodle IS II Is thus ssen that even "
greatest men have their limitations
With No Asst,.-Fond Fsthcr-My little on
arober new ,lr-SSI You must think your poor oA
father Is made Of money nan. dom, h.. ,r~.
This is 10 becoming that you should DO deieh,ea
stc NE IN 1t. II Is very slyli.t hn%-Ia , hav.
Fond Father-H Won keep this up VIII hS'e
fall (tWeiiCa-
Cap,ain Grimes, q muscular female officer in "
Salvation Army. Is making great hit In the West !"
her songs and dances After telling her hearers tos
She has CHRISTIAN experience where the rats can't 81
at II she breaks out In some such ditty as this:
"I'm happy on Monday, Tuesday. Wednesday
I'm happy on Thursday, too,
I'm happy on Friday, saturday. Sunday,
I'm Joyous the whole week through
rhcn the hand plays and she dances double sh'lfhs
"a the pte,t delight OF the congregation for she u
capital performer. She claims that she can snoos
tho devil moro effectively than any college bird
preacher In the country.
Treasur-Dime Museum Manager ITO applicant
! for plsceI-what kind Of fr'ak are youI
II haven't made fun Of our Navy or n'eo inc f's'
in Clover lover. Puni' Come in my fortune is mad.
| thine.
p,,hon Evan. OF Buffalo. says that tho talk about
o nos.pl,tv Of Cardinal Gibbons being elected Pope
! is mere nonsense
The Dear Departed. -Towne-Thats 100 oad s''s'
pR Rs%Nae ''T Howl Ia = what's that,
Tuwn,- Joined the silent majority.
PSwne-N What, dead
TuwneNO married thine.
In p,ttsburg they call place wherc liquor Is ss'
without q license q speak easy prooaDN oecs~'.
loud talking Is prOtabed. Men who. In od"r 10 se'
| n drink VIII e into a dark unveutlatcd room The'
! tley can't speak above q whisper. may think inc!
! ars having q great deal Of fun, but they arc muco
mistaken.
Rival Ci,Iss-Chicsgo iswyer-And gentlemen o.
the jury remember You can't tain this poor msa,
life without reducing The PopS a re 81 SUCH cur parcs
! citizens as Yourselves viii never 10 guilty ~nSs
BNoAI'n puts in her II, a sSTnfryThe GpoSR.
Sam Jones ISN'T such bad sort after all Tbs
other day no talked in this way 10 some Jacssos
| INi.sl white Christians 81 am Southern
! man born In the South, love the South ana
.u.ct TO go 10 Heaven from the souh'
vet I say to you. my friends, when your young ms
swear 10 election returns they know 10 BE- false tS
ar, getting on dangerous ground. There are nov
ways D kill dog than to choke him Oh fS''
THE FLANNEL SHIRT.
| when the air is hot as furnace fire,
And the pon,s Of the universe ptfspirs>
! and baked and parchcd and oil uns'sroh"d
When NJ" the World all wii,od lies uncomfortable ios
! Ihon, then the truly wise wears his nAnne' snaN
When tho meTury,s eighty ono doefnS want rnH''
comforts tho word and us absurd ,.,
To pnch wrists and neck. No. the chap who's Ale"
And always on deck. wears flannel shr''A
It's cooling and soothing to think of Toe.
| And r'ading Of polar travels n nee: ,,r
And a snooke or smoke In me . shade Oh ."
| II you want to be cool as fonntaln, spnrs
or a frog In pool, wear your Hammer sh,s ,,sh.,