The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-08-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Jokes on the sun are too far-fetched.
How to remove weeds-Marry the
widow.
Colleges try to honor men by degrees.
Mail and E,rpreas.
The cucumber does its best fighting
after it is down.-SJtings.
The photographer is nothing of an
enigma, but he is a good deal of poser.
--Bdzdr.
Wealth and impecuniosity is a mere
matter of cents and non cents.-Ner-
chant Trareler.
The tree that George Washington cut
was once CHEEKY. Now it is a chestnut.
--Ne,o York Ne,cs.
The section hand may not be much at
repartee but he is great at raillery.-
Merchant 1rar6Ler.
Some reporters become proficient in the
giving as well as the taking of notes.
Merchant 7rareler.
In Russian society the question "who
is who," is never asked. 1t is always
''vitch is witch. "-Baear.
The siamese Twins regretted all their
days that they could never engage in
single skull ace.-Sittings.
"How is it your Tommy is so small for
his age, Mrs. Briggs2" "Oh, the little
dear always was a shrinking child" ex-
claimed its mother.-Ne1o YorA Sun.
A Texas horseman, convicted of capi-
tai crime, asked the Judge if he couldn't
Ha IN I.
always good on the home stretch. SIT
ings.
Teacher-"Sammie, how many bones
are there in the human body; your faith
er's, for instance?" Sammie-"One; he's
the ossifed man at the museum. -
Bd9aT.
Mother-"Ella, you cannot marry him.
He has no money" Ella-"Why,
mother, I saw him give S. to a beggar"
Mother-"Probably an accomplice. =
Boston Herald.
"Did you get that box of cigars sent
youi" inquired the fiancee. ''Yes, DEAR
"And how did you like them" "The
box was very ynice indeed, " he said, softly.
Times s-Dem0crat.
House Owner-"Have you any pla-
cards, This house to rentP" Printer
eyes, sir. Here are some patent-fbre,
woven signs, warranted to wear for two
years. Omaha World.
Bride" George, dear, when we reach
town let us try to avoid leaving the i'm
preston that we are newly married"
"All right Maud; you can lug this
valise. "-Ne'o Yorh SIN.
Cause and Effect. -Mamma-ssWhy,
Bobby, you are all over ink. Go and,
look at your face in the glass Bobby
(proudly)-"Course am. We've had a
writin' lesson again this morning. "-Picb
Ne Up.
A Philadelphia freak offers to bet
$1,000 that he can eat fifty eggs-includ-
ing shells-in fifty seconds. The Norris
tOra Herald bets him $4,000 that he
can't, if he permits it to choose the eggs.
-Ne'o Pork NClcs.
Well Advised. .-''AIy wife is bound to
set up housekeeping and has started me
out househunting. l don't know whether
to buy or rent-either is bad enough"
"Well, Of the two evils one should
always choose the leased, - Harpey's
Basdr.
Judge TO prisoneD-"So you were
drunk and disorderlyl What have you
to sayl" Prisoner-'I'ye a good deal
to say, your honor, if you'll only give
me time to say it," Judge Certainly,
with pleasure Sixty days will be enough,
won't it' Our object is to please. -.
Washington Critic
Miss Hightone (seeing Rollo, the new
Scotch terrier, for the first Why,
Sarah, what have you done with Duke,
that lovely little pug" Mrs. Llewyn
Qately a widow)-'Oh, I've given him
away. l like Rollo much better; he re-
minds me so much Of poor dear Alfred
who had such lovely blonde whiskers."
--Drake'S Nagasine.