The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-04-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

4 cold dcal-The ice trust.
Current literature-Th theory of the
tides.
A pig is well supplied with brains; in
fact, he has hogs head OF them.
Isaac Walton did not spoil the child
at least he didn't spare the rod.
The most melancholy spectacle in the
world is a cold pancake. -.SittiRgs.
There are few brass bands who can
play as many airs as the drum major
puts on.
The mirror, unlike many of its adher-
ents, doesn't force its reflections upon
us.-Lye.
Many people are still keeping diaries
for 1882, but they are statoners.
York Ne,cs.
A pupil in boys school lately defined
numeration as "the process of multiply
ing one number together"
He-"Why can't you love me2" She
because l hear some other girl re-
fused you."-N5,O Yort SqR.
When Bismarck grasps Samoas isle,
And from her rulers frees her,
IT'S that he may in great south seas
BE called the Great South Seller.
Yankee Blade
Now we know why a Jap wears such
a panied look on his face. The Japanese
cucumber is over three feet long g.-Ne.O
YTk Journal.
Malicious. .-"Tell me, is your wife
curousp "She2 | really believe she
came into the world only out of pure
curiosity. Ftegeaie BLaetter.
Stranger Gn the court room)-"What
time have you got, please" Prisoner
(at COunseps table II can tell you
better after the trial. Jireler's Weekly.
He'd studied till wisdom
Had soaked him clear through. .S
Yet he never cou learn
When his board bill was due.
Merchant Trdusler
Mother 60 seven-year-old daughterl--
"Carrie, what makes you look so sadl"
Car:ie--'I'm thinking what a bother that
little brother Of mine will be to me
about ten years from now, when | enter
society and have beau. ."--Sitings.
Descriptions often tell amiss
The Jester shows wordy sport,
For palest men are sometimes flush,
The tallesJ man is often short.
-Ncrrhs MT Trdrsier
Teacher -"What does Condillac say
about bSutes in the scale of being"
Seminary Girl-"He says brute is an
imperfect man." Teacher-''And what
IS mant' Seminary Girl-"Man Oh,
mans perfect brute "-SpRtei Cayuse.
Polite Clerk showing goods)--"Here
is something | would like to call your
attention to, lady It's the very latest
thing out" Mrs. Rounder (absently)
IF there's anything out later than my
husband Ill take it, if only for
We are never weary of reading a good
epitaph-one VIII ch indicates the work
Of "A lifetime in few short crisp words.
Here is one, for instance, which needs no
explanation. 1t was inscribed on a tomb
Of caunibal: "IIe loved his fellow.
nenn
Miss Cazenove-''Who is it, Parkerln
The New Man ITS that Lor-rd Seven
.ich, me Teddy. ~ Misses Cazenove
brcathlcss lyJ-"Show him upm The
New Man-'All tn daily papers did that
his mor.rnin', sayin' yure presence, but
OIL do it again, if ye say so. - Tine.
Dealer TO clerk What did that
7oung lady want, James" Clerk
'She asked for anatomical brussels car
lcJs, ana l lolu nef We uhuu suCn
hing Dcaler--"Great SCOTT, James,
hat young lady is from Boston She
wanted body brussels, and we've igotan
'yerstock Of 'em
even fowls viii ape humanity; two ROSTERS
met AMI passed
The timo OF day, uS sadly as n each breath
were their last,
each was too fat to crow; but said "As sure
as am born,
Al can show for my years work is good
crop of corn
-Sinings
"And so,n said he, bitterly, when he
called that she had re iected him, "and
o you have been flirting heartlessly with
ne all the while Well, thank Heaven,
have found you out at last " YES"
he replied, "you have; and, what is
lore, / think YOU will always find me
ut hereafter when you call"
The first chapter in a novel has the
Glowing And so the fair girl con-
inued to sit on the sand, gazing upon
he briny deep, on whose heaviug bosom
he tall ships went merrily by, freighted
ah who can tell with how much Of
'y aud sorrow, and pine lumber and