Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1889-11-23
Varieties.
An Irish trick-Patrick.

~ iS iio0 "i"oys Vic pool uAooScu WIZ
are the most intelligent.
Time is money, but it don't go into
circulation again after it once passed.
A boat can sail on a tack and not
make any fuss about but when man
sails ON tack newell, it is different.
A politician who was kicked down
flight of steps the other day said he
felt as though his seat had been con-
tested
The reason that some men can't
make both ends meet is because they
are too busily engaged in making one
end drink.
The man who tries to sit ON two
stools on an excursion boat is quite
likely to find himself on the deck with
out either.
"Counterfeiting," remarks an ex-
change, "has finally got down to where
it really concerns us. Bogus ten cent
pieces are afloat.
Nothing begets confidence in a man
sooner than the practice Of punctuality,
and nothing shakes confidence sooner
than the want of it.
1t needs prayer in prosperity that
we may have grace to use, as truly as
it needs prayer in poverty that we may
be enabled to bear it.
Fogg says his friend Pmgry is 50
slow that he never catches cold and
couldn't get within hailing distance of
the slowcst Of slow fevers.
When woman leaves man wha
has not earned his salt for years, he
Immediately advereises that he VIII pay
no debts Of her cont. as,ing.
A note book is a handy thing when
travelling Theie are many little things
that happen that are likely to be for.
gotten unless noted on the srot
Some females have Just been arrested
in Kentucky for the manufa cture oe
illicit whiskey. This is the first re-
corded instance Of a women keeping
still.
1t is stated, as a curious fact that
more money is expended annually in
the United States for cigars than is ex-
pended for all the common schools in
the Union.
off you grasp rattlesnake firmly
about the neck, he cannot hurt you,"
says Western paper. Keeping about
block ahead of the snake is also
good scheme.
A Michigan tramp says he had
rather take hand in forty battles like
Gettysburg than to have a farmers
dog on one side of him and barbed
wire fence ON the other.
1t is VIE now, when out walking
in the evening, to keep the mouth shut.
We have heard of several instances,
lately, Of persons being nearly choked
to death by bugs flying down the
throat.
1t seems great deal easier for chill.
dren to copy the bad habits of those
they associate with than the good ones.
Knowing this to be so, how careful
ought parents to be always to set good
examples before their little ones.
An Oil City maiden, who had just
recovered from two-days attack of
green-apple cramps reciting in public
the other night that touching poem,
600 feel what | have felt" with such
emphasis that it brought tears to the
eyes of the green grocer.
An Irishman at the immediate risk
of his life, stopped a runaway horse
recently in neighboring city. The
owner came up after awhile and quietly
remarked. THANK you, sir" Gan
faith, an how are goin' to divide that
between two of us ?" replied Pat.
Colonel" said man who wanted
to make out genealogical tree, "Colo-
mel, how can | become thoroughly
acquainted with my family history?"
Simply by running for Office" was the
answer. "You will soon know more
about it than you ever knew before
The sea is the largest Of all cemeter-
les and its vast numbers sleep without
monuments. Over their remains, the
same storm beat and the same requiem
by m natrels Of the ocean is sung to
their honor; there unmarked the weak
and the powerful, the lplume1 and the
unhonored are alike undistinguished.
A humble boy with shining pail,
went gaily singing down the dale, to
where the cow with brindle tail, on
clover her palate did regale. A bum
BILE bee did gaily sail, far over the soft
and shadowy vale, to where the boy
with the shining pail, was milking the
COW with the brindle tail. The bee lit
down on the cows left ear her heels
flew up through the atmosphere-and
| through the leaves of the chestnut tree
the boy scared into eternity.