davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
Il. nobody does such things now.


Puck: Teacher-Now, children, you
have seen how strong a bundle of sticks is
and how weak each stick is by itself.
This experiment illustrates the motto,
SIN union there is strength" Now,
who can give me another illustration,
one that relates to the American ma
tionp ash
Patsy O'Hooligan (son of an alder
man)-Oi kin. The Amerikyns divides
Gratis, an prohibitionists. an mug
wumps, an all sorts O. things, phile the
Oirish sticks together an gifts all the
orfces.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
SAYINGS OF TIE FUNNY MAN
Some Waits from the World OF Wit
- and Hhmor.
HOW HE eoT'e5IHls EXERCISE
This Splinter Had a Baby-A Heart
less Girls Revenge A Big
Draw-Jokes from over
the Ocean.
A Very Definite Answer.

Tegliche Rundschau: The examiners
of military candidates for the rank of
ensign attach certain value to smart
ness in the replies given by the stu
dents. Not long ago a teacher of geogra-
ply asked candidate the startling
question:
"How wide is the Seine near Lon
donp"
The reply came without moments
hesitation: "As wide as the Thames
near Paris"
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
razor. Morphine and Revolver.

A razor, morphine and revolver
were the means adopted by William X.
Lente, of Seville, Putnam county. to
kill himself to-day, says Sanford
tFla.) special. He first cut an artery in
his arm, then drank "a vial of morphine
and finally shot himself in the head.
Financial difficulties are supposed to
have been the cause of this, as he had
run through his own money. and rumor
has it also of his mothers fortune. His
father was DR.. Frederick II. Lente, a
well-known New York physician. AT
his death, in 1884, young Lente organ
lied a company to start town south OF
here. He was also interested IN rail-
roads and was well known throughout
the state.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
The Chicago Man Got There.

Washington Post: A ST. Louis man
and citizen OF Chicago were discuss
ing the location of the worlds fair in
front of the Ebbitt house last enening.
81 don't see why st. Louis should
want the fair, anyway" said the Chi
cago man; ''she already has one of the
most important features of fair"
''To what do you refer?' asked the st.
Louis man, deeming this some sort of a
compliment.
II refer to the price that is charged
for admission to the town."
And everybody present who had paid
the st. Louis bridge fare smiled audi
bly,.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22

Blumenlese: Professor c. had
gone to spend the evening at a friend 8
house. When he was about to leave, it
was raining cats and dogs, wherefore
the hostess kindly offered him accom-
modahon for the night, which he read
lily accepted. Suddenly the guest dis
about to retire for the night, when
Professor Co. walked in, as wet as a
drowned ratl He had been home to
fetch his night Shirt
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
A alous Eunctionary.

Freisinnige Zeitung: A new road
was about TO be made in a cerlain par
ish in the Bohmerwald. The surveyor
came. took his observations and, with
considerable care and eXertion, staked
out the road. When this part of the
work had been done he went to the
mayor of the parish aud said: II must
ask you to see that the poles are not
stolen over Sunday" On Monday
morning the surveyor came back. Sure
enough the stakes had gone. The
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
A RepubIic's Gratitude.

Republics are not always ungrateful.
President Kruger, whose valor against
the English founded the Transvaal re-
public, wanted s35, 900 the other Gay for
a business operation, and the Transvaal
parliament lent it TO him at q per cent
instead of the legal South African rate
of 10 per cent.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
Didn,t Como ,n Work Overtime.

Birmingham Post. Chief Ito indus
trious clerk in government officel
didn't you dot the ii" in the last word
of your report last night?
Industrious Clerk beg your pardon;
but you see the clock struck 4 just at
that point, and didn't care to work
overtime.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
ACCOMPLISHMENTS Ovsrcame Him

Judge: In Washington: Stranger
81 would like to see General Greely."
Weather bureau official -" General
Greedy can't be seen, sir. He's sick"
Stranger-'Nothing serious, hope"
Weather bureau oficial-"Yes sir,
but it is. His prediction for yesterday
came true,
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
The Exact Locality.

Judge: Two of the seediest-looking
tramps that you could possibly meet in
long days drive were brought up in
the police court.
''Where do you live?" asked the
magistrate.
Nowhere" replied one of the vaga-
bonds.
And you?''
''Me9 Oh, room on the floor above
nv pail
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
Gotd Exprc,Se.

Boston Budget: Friend-So you have
another race booked. / haven't seen
you taking the regulation exercise spins
to get yourself in condition, while have
met your opponent religiously prepar-
ing himself for the encounter.
Famous Sprinter-Oh, take my ex-
ercise at night.
Friend-Where and how?
Famous Sprinter-At home. The
baby gives me all the exercise / need,
and more too.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
On the Free List No Longer.

Chicago Tribune: Citizen-'Hello,
Jake! Still in the fruit business, are
youp Those peaches look"
Jake menacingly)- keep your dirty
hands off n them peaches. If you want
man now"
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
Applied to the Wrong Place.

The following result is Significant
as to the result of the prohibitory
laws:
WATERLOO, Douglas Co., Neb.
Willow Springs Distilling Co. Omaha,
Neb.: You will please send me n
catalogue of your Temperance drink.
Have you any Peach Cider" and "Bee
Bee?" Ifnot, please recommend US to
some one who does keep it.
Yours truly, w. A. ROGERS.
Query: What has the disrillery to do
with temperance drinks?
Moral: Buy "Kennedy's East India
Bitters."
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
Makine Rapid propress.

Time: Tucker7-I saw your son in the
country to-day, Parker. He had his
camera with him, / believe.
Parker-Yes; he went out TO take
some views, suppose. Was he making
good progress?
Tucker-You bet he was, and dust,
too. Somebody's red bull was after
him.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
A Sad Predlcament.

LIE Figaro: "Well, Marquis De Cali
naux, have you had pleasant jour-
rey?"
II was ill the whole of the time; I
cannot bear travelling by rail with my
back to the engine"
"You ought to have changed places
with one of the other passengers"
impossible. / was all alone"
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
A Big Draw.
Calendario Toledario. HDear

hyw sad you look!''
II have horrible toothache."
DO you come from the dentist's?"
Yes; he has just drawn four"
-Four molars?"
- "NO. four shillings.N
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
Whnt Would Hanpen.

Merchant Traveller: ''Humph, said
Brown to Jones, that's nice way that
fellow Diogenes OF whom l was just
reading spends his time.'
''Do you refer to his practice of hunt
ing for an honest man?"
YES
''Well, nobody does such things now
adays."
NO; it Diogenes were to try any
such thing as that in New York to-day
he'd get run in by. bunko steerer be-
fore he'd been out two hours.''
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22

Tom Mason IN LIFE.
"Where do you think" said she,
"The Worlds fair ought TO be;n
He drew her 10 his side,
And hugging her, replied,
''Im satisfied, my dear,
To hold the fair right here.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
No Rebate.

Arizona Kicker: We desire to state
in the most explicit manner that no re-
bate will be allowed to any one of our
subscribers who may be obliged to leave
town for the benefit of the community,
or who may be hanged and buried for
the same reason. In several late in
stances friends of such subscribers have
called on US and asked us to cash up
for the unexpired term, but we have
invariably refused. Subscriptions to
the Kicker run for one year. We con-
tract to deliver the paper for that time.
If the subscriber is arrested, driven off
or hanged, it is no fault of ours. Please
bear this in mind and save yourselves
trouble.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
A Moneymaking Scheme

Life: Tawker-How can you afford
to send your family to Saratoga when
you told me only last month that you
were broke2
Cawker-Oh, I'm in a new business
now. | have started drop-a-nickel-in
the-slot-and ascertain the-machine-is-
out-of f-order-company.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
A Modern EDitaph.

We bury his Fauntleroy collar,
His Fauntleroy suit and sash;
While our tears flow swift and steady
For our beautiful dream SO rash.
We thought the sweet lord so lovely,
And that Tommy would look and say,
Dearest" just like the darling;
But he wasn't built that way.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
Taking ShOD.

Puck: Miss Chiff-Would you be-
lieve itp Old Mr.. Grump, who is
thought SO reserved, told me last night
that he was a believer In first impress
sions.
Miss Keenan-Why, don't you know
he's dealer in etchings?
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
Arabs m the United states.

There are altogether about 1900
Arabs in this country, and not 10 per
cent of them have settled home or
any other means of support than ped
ding.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
One find hutton Gone.

Out of 246 men passing along Main
street in Cincinnati on a recent after
noon, 2l0 had lost one or more OF the
hind buttons off their coats.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22

For ladies the pest and purest tonic Is
Angostura Bitters. II etfectually cures
dyspepsia, and tones up the system. DR..
j. G. b. Siegert q Sons, Mfrs. AT
druggists.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
The Best Qualification of All.

London Exchanges: A good many
years ago farmer not far from Dun
blanc had q son whom he was anxious
to have trained for a lawyer. He went
to Dunblane one day to see Mr.. b., with
whom he was very intimate, to know if
that gentleman would take his son as a
clerk. The following conversation en-
sued:
Mr.. B.-"Well, John, what qualitica-
tion has your SOM"
John-"Weel, he's a clever boy, a
guild scholar, and gram in the uptak'!'
Mr.. B.-''Are those all the qualifica-
tions he has, john"
INA. he has anither; the fiend himself
couldna' haud the candle till him for
leein!'
Mr.. B.-'Send him in, John, send
him in."
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
An Absent. Minded Professor.

mayor had locked them up for safety II
the town hnll.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
Saved a Life,

Time: Solomon Isaacson-"Haf you
heard the news, Shacob, dot haf safed
dhose lifes oaf Reuben Cohen dhis
morning alretty?"
"Nein, mine friendt, how was dot?"
''He fell of de dock und couldn't
schwim."
,'Und you schumped in und helluped
him oud?"
oud uud pays you dot $40 owe you, i,
und he climbs dot water oud like a
doOck -
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22
Health is Wealth!

DIR. II. G. VESTS NERVE AND BRAIN TREAT.
ness. Commissions, Fits. Nervous Neuralgia-
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the
use of alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental
Depression softening of the Bran, resulting in
insanity and leading TO misery. decay and DEATH
Premature Old Age Iiarrenness. Loss OF Power
in either sex, Involuntary Losses and Spermat'
orrhR caused by over-exertion Of the brain, self
abuse or overindulgence. Each box contains
one months treatment sl.o box, or six boxes
for s5 90 sent by mail prepaid onrecept OF price
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES
To cure any case with each order received by
us for six boxes, accompanied with $500. we WI
send the purchaser our written guarantee 10 70
fund the money IL the treatment does not eff0c
a cure. Guarantees issued only by Goodman
Drug Co.. Druggists, Sole Agents. ITO Farnam
street, Omaha. Neb.
Omaha daily bee., 1889-09-22

Coughs and colds come unlimited, but
you can quickly get ril of these with a
few doses of DR.. j. II. McLean's Tar
Wine Lung Balm.
Johnstown weekly Democrat. (Johnstown, Cambria County, Pa.) 1889-1916, 1889-09-06
Death of Mr.. David Dibert.

The illness of Mr.. David Dibert, at
Ridge View Camp, Millwood terminated
in his death Thursday evening at o'clock.
Mr.. Dibert has been in poor health for
some time and while at the campmeeting
became i'll of fever. The fever left him a
week ago, but kidney trouble succeeded
it and caused his death. His body will
arrive on the Day Express on Sunday and
will probably be brought to the Franklin
street M. E. Church, where service will
be held Interment will be at Grand
View. Mr. Dibert was aged about sixty
three years. He was son of John and
Rachael Dibert, and was born at Stan
toms Mills (Dibertsville) in Somerset
county, being one of eight children.
When young man he became a tanner
In about the year 1850, he married Miss
Griffith, of Jenner township, and coming
to Johnstown ran the old Keim 81 Co.
baugh tannery, bought by these gentle
men from him. After this he became a
merchant, first on the South Side and
afterward in the Mansion House. For Il
while was the partner of his son, Mr..
Scott Dibert in the shoe business. Lately
he has lived aretired life looking after his
extensive property here and in the West.
His family consisted of ten children, nine
of whom survive together with Mrs. Di-
bert. They are Frank, of Kansas, Scott,
BERTHE, Mary Rachael, Walter, Florence,
Grant, Anne and David. Mr.. Dibert was
one of the weathiest of our citizens, a
good man in the community, and took a
lively interest in all public matters. He
will long be remembered.
Johnstown weekly Democrat. (Johnstown, Cambria County, Pa.) 1889-1916, 1889-09-06
ALL HONOR TO MISSISSIPPI.

Mississippi merits the credit of doing
more to break up the brutal prize ring
than any other one State, or indeed all the
other States and Territories in the union.
Mississippi has achieved the honorable
distinction of stripping the prize ring of
its honors. All honor to Mississippi.
Let every other State and Territory In the
union thus honor itself. The majesty of
Mississippi law has happily been
vindicated by the conviction of the prize
ring sluggers.
Prize lighting is one of the most
grevious of crimes, which has heretofore
been given undue publicity. Pugilistic
achievement is false glory, and has a
poisonous effect on young men, leading
them from the path of an honorable way
OF earning a living. No matter who the
man who earns living in this way is a
disgrace to humanity and stigma upon
civilization. A man who earns a living
by giving exhibitions of his brute strength
is, we reiterate, disgrace to the com
munity in which he lives, and stigma
upon our civilization.
Now let Mississippi punish kilrain and
the chief hackers of both the pugilists.
Let them share the same fate, and let
all honor be given to Mississippi.
Johnstown weekly Democrat. (Johnstown, Cambria County, Pa.) 1889-1916, 1889-09-06
THE BATTLE OF NORTH POINT.

The anniversary of that memorable rev.
olutionary event in the war of 1924 the
battle of North Point, will be celebrated
this year in grander style than ever be-
fore. The interest, beginning on Monday,
September 9th, will be devoted to hrilli-
ant military and civic displays and big
exposition of the arts and industries Of
the State of Maryland Will be held IN
Pimlico.
The civic and industrial procession will
take place on the first day, which will be
the greatest display. In this civic and in
dustral procession will be an army OF five
hundred sons, grand-sens and great
srand-sous Of the defenders OF Baltimore.
This section Of the parade will include
handsome floats representing scenes OF
the revolution and notable events in the
history of Baltimore.
There viii also be q parade of three
thousand employees of the Baltimore Il
Ohio and of the Pennsylvania Railroad
employees. On twenty floats will be rep
resent9tiycs of the wonders OF modern
railroad transportation and the progress
made since the time Peter Cooper ran the
first locomotive out of Baltimore on the
Baltimore & Ohio road
Johnstown weekly Democrat. (Johnstown, Cambria County, Pa.) 1889-1916, 1889-09-06
STOLE A GIRL AND KILLED a MAN.
4 Lively Chase After the Desperate
rounded in IA Canon.


rounded in IA Canoa.
A dispatch from Los Angeles, Califor-
mia, says there is great excitement at San
Juan Capisirino over the Kidnapping of a
young girl named Marie Hobona by the
noted bandit Sylvester Morales. The
girl is seventeen years of age and was
taken from her home. Morales was seen
carrying her cH on horseback, and Wig
orous pursuit was organized. The
bandits horse gave out and he entered
the stable of Henry Charles, one of the
wealthiest men in the county, intending
TO steal horse. Charles was in the stable
and was shot dead. The father of the
girl abducted by Morales said the girl had
never seen Morales until last Wednesday
night, when he came to the house at Sun
Diequito, thirty miles north of San Diego,
and entered the house, where she was in
bed. He drew six-shooter and COM
PEELED her to dress, mount the horse and
ride away with him. On Thursday after.
noon Morales rode to the door of store
in Vista, San Diego county, leaving the
girl and the horse while he bought
crackers and smdines. Friday they were
seen going toward San Dian, and were
chased by AN officer who captured one
horse and the girls clothing.
No further clue to the bandits where
abouts was found until Sunday afternoon.
when Morales rode through San Fer
nando, several miles north of the scene of
the Saturday tragedy. Morales was rid
ing one horse and leading another, and
was armed with Winchester rifle and
two siX-shooters. He was recognized by
an officer, who pursued him, but soon
disappeared, leaving the horse he was
leading. The desperate then turned
back toward San Diego canon, where he
was seen laJc at night with girl on horse
back going toward Trabura Canon.
Morales is tall, slender man, with "a
mustache and thin beard He is marked
with smallpox and one eye is bloodshot,
but altogether he is not bad looking lie
has sworn will not be taken alive. lie
is dead shot, and Sheriif's do not like
TO come into close quarters with him,
The latest reports are that he is surround
ed in II cannon near Santa Ana, and an cX-
ira posse has gone out to help The Sheriff.
Johnstown weekly Democrat. (Johnstown, Cambria County, Pa.) 1889-1916, 1889-09-06
The Democrat
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER, 6 1899.
OHIO DEMOCRATS.

The Ohio Democrats in convention
Wednesday, nominated ex-Congressman
Campbell for Governor on the second
ballot. He was born at Middleton, o.,
July Z, 1s43, served in the navy during
the war, practiced as an attorney after its
close until $780, was elected to the Forty
eigth and Forty-ninth Congresses and nen
reelected to the Flftieth Congress. The
ticket was completed as follows: Lieu
tenant Governor, VIM. V. Marquis, of
Bellefontaine Judge of Supreme Court,
Martin D. Folett, of Marietta; State
Treasurer, w. E. Boden, of Guernsey
county; School Commissioner, Charles c.
Miller, of Putnam county; Attorney Gen.
erel, James NJ. Lewis, of Urbana, Men,
ber of Board CT Public Works, Frank
Reynolds, of Cincinnati Clerk of Supreme
Court, l. j. G. Shumaker, of Tiff1n.
Johnstown weekly Democrat. (Johnstown, Cambria County, Pa.) 1889-1916, 1889-09-06
The Contest at Camp Hamilton.

Saturday night sixteen contestants
tered for the contest in skilled. soldiery
at Camp Hamilton. The two prizes
were a gold (Keystone shape) badge to be
awarded by Capt: Hamilton, and silver
badge awarded by Capt. Nesbitt. These
awards are to lie presented to the soldfy
exhibiting the most skill in drillip- ~
presenting the best appearance. III
outfit were drilled separately. Pri Ie
McLain, had total of 152 points, mo
accged Tie gold medal Corporal Iar
baugh, whose total was 147 points lcl
the silver medal, or second puze Mr.
Harbaugh is G. 4. r., man; Sc e.
during the war was Il regular afterwards
and is prominent member of the j. D..
L. A. NJ, and the Odd Fellows. He las
been twenty-five years in the servit,
The caste Of the badges were made iy
Darby, and the work will be done at
Pittsburgh.
Johnstown weekly Democrat. (Johnstown, Cambria County, Pa.) 1889-1916, 1889-09-06
BLUE BLOOD Nor INTALLAnLE.

Blue blood, does not insure lis possess
sor against the consequences of its own
folly. \ blue blood fool VIII come to
grief the same us another fool. This fact
is illustrated in the Hamilton-Uounclly
tragedy. A sensation romance Of real
life is disclosed in the history Of the fam
lily of Robert Ray Hamilton. He was
the son Of General Schuyler Hamilton, n
nephew of the celebrated physician
McLain Hamilton and grandson of Alex
ander Hamilton, Secretary of the Treas
ury Of the United States under George
Washington, and who was killed in a
duel by Aaron Burr This blue blood
son has sown the wind and is rcaplng the
whirlwnd
There is a moral in the story Of Robert
Ray Hamilton, moral which is Obvious
and unmistakable. The man who links
himself matrimonially with an abandoned
woman, is an offence from which he vii
pay the penalty.
The Atlantic City tragedy affair has
caused q great sensation in blue blood
society.
The Democratic smirch in the Fack
case finds its equivalent Republican
smirch in the Hamilton episode. The
honors among the New York politicians
is now equal.
Johnstown weekly Democrat. (Johnstown, Cambria County, Pa.) 1889-1916, 1889-09-06
About the Size of 1t,

The picnic season is thus graphicall
described by one who has been there
The picnic season is ready topull. Now
let us to the woodland HE. where Ire
their verdure wrap, for Spring no .J9se
fingers in old burly winters lap. I
picnic garb wen amble forth, and sit b,
Meath the trees, and have our hide h
chopped aud hacked with stings of bun
bic bees. Wen gaily don our linen coal
and thin seersucker pants, and sit besid
the gurgling stream, while DER us craw
the ants. Wen swallow picnic lemoI
ade to moisten down the grub, whic
people make by soaking one cheap mo
in Il tub The guilcless sandwiol v
shall eat, dcvour the clammy pie, and :
on bowls of custard while a teal bedi
our eye. Wen Zip the mustard in }
jam, the pepper in the tea, and try t
all our might to show that we arc file
with glee. Then let us 10 the picnic hi
our baskets in our hand, and return
night all tired out, and filed with d.
aud sand.'
Johnstown weekly Democrat. (Johnstown, Cambria County, Pa.) 1889-1916, 1889-09-06
TIN UNKNOWN DEAD.


a Lot TO be Purchased in Gra1d View
The Ecmans TO DE Taken There From
Different Burying Grounds.
a party consisting Of Secretary krcmer,
James NlcAIillen, and Herman Baumer,
yestetday afternoon went to Grand View
10 look up a suitable place for the femov-
al Of ai bodies in adjacent cemeteries
ana burying grounds. It's proposed to
disinter the remains, obtain a conn ,g de.
scriptiog and re-intcr them in one place.
Secretary Kremer will be careful Co., see
that this is promptly and accurately done,
and it is expected that eycrythjne viii be
in readiness for the work in ~c.k OF
en- day=.
This win be very gladly recriv by
many who have not yet been abl 10 ..a-
ify lost relatives and friends as T.. y
available means win then have bee. asad
TO render Identification possible.
And to those who may never find heir
dear ones it viii be o great satisfaction to
think that they are not in scattered and
ab0ndonoI burying grounds, but IN a
place where their graves will ever be
guarded with jealous care in place
where lies many Of our most noble and
worthy fellow citizens.
Johnstown weekly Democrat. (Johnstown, Cambria County, Pa.) 1889-1916, 1889-09-06

Mr.. James Daily, representing the large
blank book firm of William Murphy S
Sons, Philadelphia, is well.known to Il
number of our professional men, having
made several trips per year for number
of years, soliciting work for the firm he
represented. He left this town on the
30th Of May last for the Inflated city of
Johnstown. A few days later a casket
passed the railroad station, on which was
plainly inscribed Remains of James
Daily, to William Murphy's Sons, Phila.
delphia." About this time Captain Har-
rison received a telegram from the firm,
making inquiry relative to Daily The
Captain replied that the papers had given
his name as one of the men lost in the
great food, and that the remains had
passed through this place en- route for
Philadelphia. Imagine Mr.. Harrisons
surprise when one day tins week he re-
ceived a business letter from Philadel.
phia, written by Mr. Daily himself. 1t is
useless to say that Captain Harrison was
astonished, If these were times of mira
cles II might be presumed he had arisen
from the dead to make the best of it, it
is a most singular condolences Somerset
,CtaB6aJG