Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-09-01
THE IRISH WIDOW.
THB OLD GIRL, MRS. NAGO0GIN, AGAIN
TURNS Up.
She Tells Fer Ne.gh53r About the Elixir Of Life
and Relates Hsr Experience With
Tie DccCr.


Did e hear Of III alleykOizsr, Mrs.
McGlaggerty, Oh dunno?'
"Fwhat alley is id. Mrs. Magoogin:'
erNo alley at all, Ms. MeGlsggerty, but
tn alleykOizsr."
"Ani sure an whats that2'
eds tn ZOO medicine, ashthOre," said
the widow. The dOcthors are givin' it
70 uyerybody-id makes payple young
that's ovid, an thim's not ovid st ali,
sure an id makes them younger than they
ar an God save the mark. bat It works.
wonders an plays tn divil wild human
nachur entoirely, Mrs. McGlaggerty
Fwhat is id2 S0rra van ay me knows
amy more than that the doc
thors calls ia til nlleyk0izsr. Me
daughter Toozy read me Oh.
about ia fwhere they toHIo
abont q man that was called a cintnnial'
an that was blond, DAFT, doombi parry
loizsd an dead broke ali 70 Wanst, an
thsy shkurted q shkur. or two av IN alley
loizer into his arrum wud hose av some
l-oind an begorrv in tWinty minnlts ne
,gss ont in the middle av the figure danein'
a hornpipe en- OfIeriu' 70 bate the DAY
Io;obts out av emmy man IN the house
The i0r We. Mrs. Mrs. MCGlsggerty
Nov rEhst DO We think av medicine
1oil-s fhet me friend2 Al OF was IN your
Dlsce Nf-7 McGaggerty, Ord buy ten
cints worth sv ia an give I'd 20 yer jury
an all all shat they SEE about Id Is tnrue
ye'u be as well of IS ell ye
had a suckend husbAn', avourneen'
INT dive moind, Mrs. McGiaggerty
~H, rprp1ScE Av Ovid DOCrHoR
pILLB0y
an ts' block ablvow-th' thieyin' ovid
bla'guard sv a pisou peidle1 Dye kno"
fwhst be had tn swdacity 70 do Sure an
didn't ne come 90 tn house this maWrnin
AM kuockin' at the dure be SEE to me, SCI
he. Is this YOU, Mrs MagOCgnF SCI Vi,
sWu9out KNOWN who We al or pWhy ye
Az id sir, Orl say it is, SIT y SEE o.
'Opu so glad, SEE be. An because fur
fwbv ~ sezOi. Because Oh want 70 thry
tn allevkoiser an We. sez he. An fwhat's
III alleykoiser? SEE Oh IAN pit loite into
We sez he. rs that so p SEE Oh, oPenin.
hi dule. It Is, SEE he We'll, how ID
ona Bit sez OF, 'antil Oh get me hand an
a keppeen av wood, seq o., 'an' at %.
don't pit loife into you thin my name ISM {
Berdie Magoogin, S o., an as o. raicned
ont to take how'd az a 5edshlat
THE DANCED Ovid D0CTHoR TUX TO HIS
HEELS.
an be heavens ids well he did, or Old a
made him o prisint av the mosht byOotiful
cut ia the poll that be ever saw in all his
horned days, Mrs. McGlaggerty. Tn
oidava av akin q shpring chicken lOike
meser 20 thry tn allsykoizsI Fghst
Ia me frind Mare Grant say aft he
burd av th' way Oh was inshultid ?
He'd have the man that invintid II
arreshtid. so be wud, Mrs. MoGlsggerty,
an the pray'r nv uv'ry daycint
WILDLY in the land ID be more pow'r to i'm
fur dom it. Alleykoizsr, indade, Sure an
thew tells me I'D g nOthin' elsa but soup med
out av guinea pigs. OF say alleykOizar to
We, Mrs. McGlaggerty Guinea pig soup
Is ids rale name, only they're ashamed to
call ia to i'd May tn divil pull tn liver
outav me ad Ord laive thin give it to me
goat, Mrs. McGlaggertY, not to say any
thin at all bat shkurtin' id into a human
bein, and as fur putin lOiie into body,
OTu how'd thin tin dollars there's more
loife in me this minnit than they'd foind
in tWinty alleykOizers an TIN hundred
guinea pigs, Mrs. MCGlaggerty.