davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

JOHN KEENAN,, Of New York, while on
the street the other day saw black cat cross
his path twice. Indignant at being hoodooed
in that manner he hurled stone at the cat and
broke show window, for which he had to pay
$50. The incident is held to show the bad luck
which follows upon having black cat cross
your path; and while that view of the matter
may be questioned, all will agree that it is ex-
ceedingly bad luck to throw a stone at a cat
and hit plate-glass window.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
A HEART AND HAND CONCERT.

An Excellent Roster of Participants In a
Musical Event.
In the concert for the benefit of the Heart
and Hand Society of the Third Presbyterian
Church, to be given in the chapel of that
church next Thursday evening, great many
prominent musical people will take part
The concert has been prepared under the
management of Miss Madge G. Irwin, and the
following are the names of those who will make
the evening very enjoyable one:
Mrs. Jean Wallace Webster, Mrs. Scott,
Misses Mamie Renck, Caroline Schmertz, Jen-
ME Evans, Annie Flower, Carrie Lang, Jessie
Raynor. and Messrs. II. B. Brockett and Frank
W Bead.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
HON. M. C.'S AS STORY TELLERS,

How Congressman smithkIns Played Up
Deaf and Got Seat In Cara Foreign
Prince Tells sfahInecker His Opinion Of
Chicago-EngIIshmeu Don't Want Bufa.
loes-A Thrifty Stewards scheme.
IRON STAFF CORRESPONDENT
WASHINGTON, December 15.-There is many
Congressman who has fine sense Of humor,
but who hardly ever gets a chance to exhibit it
on the floor Of the House, but allows it to find
vent in other and sometimes in the most unex-
pected, places. Coming downtown In street
car the other day, Representative smithkins
found every seat crowded by 20 human beings,
very stout female of one Of the foreign lega-
tions, who spread her skirts over two seats, and
her little dog (about as big as kitten) which.
occupied the space of a full seat The Con-
gresham was tired with hls arduous duties of
the day, and looked wistfully at the perch Of the
small canine. The large female looked at the
Congressman as though to say, Take it, if you
darep Smithkins fixed his eye with an intense,
mesmeric glare on both female and pup; but
neither of them moved in response TO the pow
erful action of this will. Smithkins. who
weighs over 25O pounds, suddenly wheeled
about and sat down plumpon the little dog, but
bracing his feet on the floor OF the car and his
back against the back of the seat, and letting
down just enough of his weight to make the
dog howl. Half q dozen ladies drew in their
breath quickly and exclaimed, ''Oh, myr' The
large female gave vent to two or three theat-
rical screams, and shouted:
"Oh, you horrid man, you are sitting on my
dogp'
beg your pardon, ma'am, sitting on a log,
did you say? / am quite deaf" said Smith
kins,( with his blandest smile.
on are killing my little FayF' screamed the
female.
Yes. it's a very fine dayr' said Smithkins.
"Oh, / could just beat your she screamed
again, digging her elbow into Smithkins' side
to make him move.
Yum, yum" said Smithkins, ''and I could
Just eat you; but you shouldn't talk about it
before all these people,"
"Oh, you vile wretchr' she screamed, beside
herself with anger, and without more ado she
grabbed Smithkins by the collar and hoisted
him of from her precious pet grabbed up the
bowling phist, and signaled the conductor to
stop the car.
Amid roar of laughter she aIighted, mutter-
ing angrily, while Smithkins, without smile,
but with prolonged sigh of satisfaction, set
tied down and spread himself nearly all over
the space that had been occupied by both fe-
male and dog.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
Is IT CoLUmBIA,s CHo1cEG

WRITTEN FOR THE DIsPATcH.1
ohi sprightiy Miss Columbia,
Thy shining diadem
Has stars full MANCHESTER States
And each a sparkling gem.
And of this coruscation rare
Which city dost thou love?
,Mong myriad communities,
Which wilt thou place above?
"Kind sir embarrassing your wish,
For they all honor me;
And am migrate to their charms,
That should choosing be?
From California's golden cline
To Aroostook, in Maine,
They all acclaim my hearty praise
And bless my loving reiRn.''
Oh! sweet, OIL patriotic maidI
Set scrupIes far awayl
List to my supplication wild,
And choose for us. pray.
For common folk have many minds
And preferences queer;
While millions, II you but speak up.
Your lightest word will hear.
s'Well, since the people bid me speak,
Ie'en will ope my mouth.
Then listen ALL from East to West,
And hearken, North and South:
Their fortunes tightly clutch.
List to the Eagles frantic squawkl
They squeeze him overmuch.
A soldiers unmarked resting placei
A city's blazoned shame!
You'd conjure naught but crooked pence
With such doubtful name.
s,Fair Washington. thy paves are broad,
And shafts impale the sky.
Thou wouldst, indeed, be fairy.land,
Were all thy flats quite dry.
But would my statesmen thrifty grow
With Worlds Fair close at hand?
AIackaday l fear it much,
With lobbies slyly plannedi
s'sweet, slow st. Louis, who art thou
That ask for such bOonp
Hath not Jay Gould got quite enough
without the stars and moonY
Thou hast old Navigation's head
Nursed in thine ample lap.
Go to, old Girl Remain, forsooth,
In thy archaic napI
sswhat brilliant maiden,s this, VINO comes
With wlllful, winning mien3
Ny youngest child; but how she's grown
A marvel she, that's plain
What breeze and dash and nerve and vim
What conscious power she showsl
All! fair Chicago, inland Queeni
Near thee the lake swell nows.
'.Buthenee, ungenerOus thought This child
Is worthy of her sire.
She rose to royalty's estate,
Undaunted e'en by fire, SO
Come hitherl Let me charm thee, then,
The rarest OF the rare!
Thou, best Of all, deserv'st the wreath;
Thon art the New Worlds lFair'i''
LEONARD WALES.
PrrrsBURe. December Is lsss.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

Mr.. EDWARD BELLAHrY, of ''Looking
Backward" fame has given his attention to
the question, What Can be Done With the
Servant Girl 2" in a recent magazine article
II Mr.. BeIlamy can solve the servant girl ques-
tion and is then able to discover the way to re-
form the mistresses, he will probably bring
about the millennium, without resortiDg to his
idea OF running everything by government con-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
Probably a MIscaIcuIatIOn.

From the Chicago Times.l
A Washington newspaper correspondent is
authority for the statement that there are four
good storytellers in Congress. A great many
people who have thought that the majority in
Congress we're storytellers will be relieved to
hear this
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
DEATHS OF A DAY.
nIrs. lIarrnret MedIIl.

ESPECIAL TELEeRAM TO THE DTsPATcE.,
CANTON. o., December 1k-Mrs. Margaret Me-
dill, mother Of Joseph Medill, editor Of the Chi
cago Tribune, died at her residence in this city
last night, after lingering illness from dropsy,
aged g years. She has been resident of this
place Tor many years and was noted for her graces
cf mind and works OF charity.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
To Preren, Embarra..mena

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.l
Only millIonaires should be elected to the
House while the sergeant-at-Arms keeps .
cashier The Senate would not have considered
the Silcott defalcatiOn so much as . mosquito
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
NEW YoRKs rLRcrR1cAL corrrsr

The contest between the electric lighting
companies Of New York and the authori-
ties who seek to maintain the safety of the
streets, took $ new turn last week, in the
shape Of = decision BY the New York Su-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

A THRIFTY Ohio girl sold batch of old love
letters to the ragman last week. She realized
30 cents, which. she declares, is . good deal
more than they were worth.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
The Popular Version.

From the Syracuse Herald.1
"Go buy sweethert 60 buy" is the Christmas
version of the old song.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
BRIcE BUYS Az ORGAN.

The Democratic Chairman Said 10 Have
Rnrehased COIumbus Paper.
COLUMBUS, December I5.-It is stated upon
the authority of Mr.. John A. MoMahon, Of
Dayton, that Calvin s. Brice has concluded ar
rangsments for the purchase of the Evening
PostOf this city, which will be conducted here
after as his personal organ.
The Post was established here about year
ago by J. Q. MCCULLOUGH of Toledo former
owner Of the Toledo Bee. Il was afterward
made stock concern. most Of the local Demo.
cratic politicians taking small Interests
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

The foreign epidemic of influenza is not
needed in this country. We can he entirely
content with the indigenous and sporadic
description that we enjoy as the result of our
unparalleled general humidity.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

CORN is now legal tender with the Calhoun
(W. VAL Chronicle and will be received on
subscription. 80 says that paper.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

SENATOR WINDOWS silver scheme
was an earnest effort to sit down between two
stools; and it has met with the usual tumble
that attends upon such attempts.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

THE Signal Services cold waves are al
most as fugacious as the several dates fixed for
the starting of the Central Traction Company's
cable cars
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
Catering to Our Foreign Craze.

Foreigners are not so green in all things,
however," said another Congressman who was
listener to these stories. II happened by ac-
cident some time ago to make the acquaint-
snce Of q Frenchman who had been steward to
foreign Minister at one time stationed at
Washington. The Minister was transferred to
another post after few years, and there was a
sale Of his personal effects at the residence Of
the legation. The steward had attended SIM
liar sales and seen what craze there was to
possess something that had belonged to for
eign Minister of rank and title, and concluded
to turn the knowledge to his own profit. Gain
ing the consent of the Minister to sell for his
own benefit lot of things that had been set
aside as not worth putting up, he added to
them from his own store and by purchase at
the auction rooms of the city. He quietly let
it be known that these things had been given
to him by the Minister to sell privately on his
own account, and he disposed Of everything at
even better prices than were got by the auc-
tioneer. Cigars for which he paid So hundred
he sold by the handful at 30 cents apiece, and
whisky and brandy which he had purchased
for 50 gallon he sold for $40 and SIS the pur-
chasers feeling certain they were getting some
thing very choice. With the enormous profits
from his share of the sale the steward was en-
abIed to return to Paris and go into business
in good style on his own account" E. w. L.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

big cigars in ~ minutss-LAneastsr cigars;
too.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

THE West Virginia Mountains seem to be
full Of game. A party on Middle Mountain,
Randolph county, killed II deer few days ago
and another party at the head of Greenbrier
river killed 16
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
TRI-sTATE TRIPLES.

A MEADvLLE man is authority for the
statement that a rooster, served st his home
the other day. had two fully developed and per-
fectly formed wishbones.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

PRESIDENT TCLEvELAND'sB s Boston speech
may suggest to Governor Hill that he might
study the encyclopedia or other instructive
works with great advantage
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
IpcIudiur Sullivan, Of COurse.

From the Boston HeraId.1
According to the new Blue Book, there are
now about 1900 persons Of quality in Boston.
This puts US ahead of New York by something
like I26OO
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

THE hanging seems to have been trans
ferred from the Cronin jury to the locality
where it will do the most good.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
When stnhlnecker wa. Abrond.

"When was abroad lawst summer" said
Stahlnecker the other day, with fine English
drawl, II met Prince Thing gumbob, who has q
name as long as my arm. We dined together a
number Of times, and he had tn housand ques-
tions to ask about America"
No one doubted this part of the story, as the
Yonkvrs Congressman is handsomer than any
prince, and is known as the Adonis of the
House.
TT was in Vienna that I met him, continued
'Stally,' and one day at the great Schweizerhof
restaurant we sat long over the wine. and the
Prince asked to know all about the Exposition
of 1892 He had got it into his head that it
would be held at Chicago, and he wanted to
find out where Chicago was. l told him it was
about LOCO miles from New York.
Down the coast7" inquired His Royal High
ness.
mo, inland" Isaid.
"Oh, it will never be a success there" said
the Prince, earnestly. "You cannot get our
people to travel so far inland. They would go
in great numbers to New York or Washington;
but to go 1000 miles inland and run the risk Of
the train being attacked by wild Indians or
knocked from the track by herds of buffaloes
-impossiblel 1t cannot succeed there"
ut is absolutely astounding" concluded Mr..
Stahlnecker, ito discover how many foreigners
have an idea that civilization In America ex.
tends only little distance from the coast"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

WITH pair Of crutehes and well-regulated
cough tramp succeeded in arousing . great
deal Of sympathy at Cbambersburg He was
finally arrested for stealing a book, and ~ an
excuse he pleaded that he Thoughts is was .
Prayerbook.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16
Billy SIason's Little Coincidence.

"The reference of the companion of princes
to buffaloes and Indians recalls q little occur.
renee last winter at my livery stable" said
Billy Mason, of Chicago. who was of this dis
tinguished company. mo, don't run livery
stable" he continued. in answer to anxious
glances. II merely keep my coach and four
and my coachman. footmen and other animals
there. I happened to be there looking after
something. when two Englishmen, fresh from
the old sod, came in to hire team and sleigh,
for there was snow on the ground, and they
wanted to enjoy the novelty Of a sleigh ride.
During the preparations the liveryman, to maks
his foreign patrons as comfortable as possible,
called to one of his men to bring a couple Of
buffaloes, meaning robes, of course. The En-
glishmen looked alarmed and whispered hur-
rtedly together. Then one of them approached
the llveryman and said timidly:
81 beg your pawrdon, sir; but, If you don't
mind, wouldn' you just as lief make it couple
of horsesr
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-12-16

A BUCK that had evidently been chased By
hounds dashed into mining hamlet this side
Of Pittston last week and ran into ths open
door Of basement. There was no one IN the
room, but = man on the outside who had seen
the buck enter, rushed up and closed the door.
In minute OF 80 the buck leaped through the
window and bounded on down tns lane with
portion Of the sash on bis nntlers. At the end
Of the lane he sprang over the fence and took
70 the Woods
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-01-10
Those Who SwOre On.

The last of those who "swore off" on
New Years day have probably fallen
into line" once more and the world moves
OF In its .ruly waggish way. 1t has be-
come quite the fashion for the golden
youth of America-and his elders, too,
for that matter-to "swear off" on all
their bad habits every New Years day
1t has also become quite the fashion to
begin the same habits again from Jan. I'd
to Feb. 1st. Some times it is cigars,
some times swearing, maybe it is bill
lizards, or perhaps it is intoxicsnts, but i,
is all tie Same in the end. Hell is
paved with good Intentions" and his
satanic majesty falls heir to a job lot OF
pavement after every new year. Twas
ever thus and twill ever be through the
cycles OF the ages till time and eternity
meet.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-01-10

Miss Male Fisher has resigned her posi-.
ton as chief stenographer in Division
Agent Macks Office at the Burlington
building. to accept a similar position in
the Office of the Sechler carriage works
at Moline.
An inquisition is being made in the
county court this afternoon as to the
mental condition of Caroline Nelson. an
inmate of the poor farm, before jury
composed of Frank Newcomb, c w
Halves, II E Casteel, Joseph Miller. Chas
Hodgson and DR. II G Hoeffle.
Another great deal In pine lands has
been consummated ny Mr.. Fred Weyer-
hauser. On the 18TH inst. Henry Hewitt
and Charles Tucker. of Appleton, Wis
sold to the Mississippi River Logging
company 25. 600. 600 feet of standing pine
In Barron and Chippewa counties for a
consideration of $4,000
Speaking of the patchwork of the side
walks of Union Square. Assistant Street
Commissioner Downs said this morning
that the walks were so worn out and
rotten that it had been deemed best to re-
pair them as we'll as could be done tenn
pGarllT, and that in the spring 1t was
hoped to have thing put down all the
way about the square.
The application of Ferdinand De Gean
for guardian, on the charse of abuse
inflicted upon him by his parents, Joseph
and Pauline DcGean. came up In the
county court this afternoon. Mr.. E. D.
Sweeney appearing for the parents. The
evidence showed the family to be quar-
relsome one. to say the least, and Judge
Adams did not regard the facts presented
as sufficient to warrant the appointment
of a guardian.
The C B. & Q had the most unpleas>
ant russell with the snow yesterday of any
of the roads coming into Rock Island.
the chief obstacle being an immense and
almost immovable drift south of Bush
nell. Passenger train No. A. due ut $50
last night, did not arrive until O'clock
this morning. when Conductor Barber
brought il in with double header No
3 came in this morning with a double
.ader, Conductor Sullivan being in
ch rge, and No. 2 went south equipped
in the same manner, Conductor Pollard
in charge.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-01-10
1T DOESN'T INTERFERE.

II e TrackvOperatiOns OF the Street
Car Syndi cate Will CONTINUE. no
Matter What the weauher-.-The
CrOak+r.
When the track bulldog operations of
the Holmes street car syndicate were
temporarily checked yesterday morning
by the small blizzard which was appar-
emily distant relative to the midwinter
cyclone which spread such desolation in
the east, the croaker who manages to
come to the surface in all sorts of wealth
er, was heard to remark with a chuckle:
well this Knocks the new street car
track for this season. l told you So
Wonder what Mr. Holmes says now
Wonder how about his bridge railway
knew he con dn't get it done this year; /
told you 30. Where's all your new
tracksf / knew they wouldn't be COM
pleted before cold weather l told you
So" This is the strain in which this
peculiarly gifted officious individual
who is found in every community went
on all day, and he probably retired last
night with a self-satisfled conscientious
ness of his wisdom aud the great benefits
men of his class are to society. Truly,
what would we do without the croakerf
But the represe NATIVE of this class of
individuals who had busted himself SO
much yesterday, doubtless awoke this
morning with the impression that he had
a strange dream when he learned that the
track laying work was going on with an
increased force and renewed zeal on the
part of Sup Schnitger. For it is fact
that not only was the work of track.lay-
ing westward on Second avenue being
rapidly pushed. but an additional force
had been started eastward on Second
avenue from Nineteenth street 10 meet
the new track where it was stopped on
Twentieth street between Second and
Third avenues. The left side of the
double track will probably be completed
between Fourth avenue and Twenty first
street, and Second avenue and Fifteenth
street this week. and then the cars will be
switched into it and The old track torn up
rapidly and the right side Of the double
put down. This done. the new single
track west 20 the saw mills in Rock Isl,
and. and east from Thirty fifth street to
the Moline terminus of the old Rock
Island and Moline line, will be attended
to.
Meanwhile the bridge line operations
progress slowly but the work is being
done thoroughly and permanently. All of
which is very gratifying to all but the
croaker.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1889-01-10
BAD FOR CLINTON.
Reported shifting of the River Chan-
mel Ferry Miles Above Rock ISL

Reported shifting of the River Cnan-
mel Ferry Miles Above Rock ISL
and.
There are some curious facts presented
by the river this winter, says the Clinton
Daily Neacs:
One is the stage of water. The river is
now lower than it has ever been since the
Northwestern bridge was built here and
parts of the foundation of the piers are
above water now which were never seen
before.
There is also an apparent change in the
channel caused by the shifting of the bar
in front of the city. Years ago this bar
was away up the river near Joyce's mill.
II has steadily moved down stream until
now it nearly connects with the first little
island in front of the city and all summer
it was quite difficult for steamers to get
from the draw channel out to the main
river.
Now the railroad people have made a
discovery which may eventually make it
necessary to change the draw to the
second part of the bridge, that between
the first and second islands. Formerly
at stage of water like the present there
would be two feet of sand above water
between these two islands. Now there
is three feet Of water there. showing that
five feet of the bar has been carried away.
Fearing that when the Ice moves in the
spring the main channel Will change to
that part of the river the railroad author
tiles are fitting the piers with ice break
ers. Should the channel change in that
way it will be necessary to cut through
the bar in order that boats can come
through the present draw and land at
the landing.