The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-02-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
i'Bound in calf-Veal.

"Bound in calf'-Veal.
Caught on the fy-Trout.
Two physicians are paradox.
The burning question-Smoke.
Fireside companion-The poker.
A loan tellow-The pawnbroker.
Unpopular pfeserves-Jim- jams.
A writ of attachment-A love letter.
Old maids know what a mis-spent life
means.
The oldest and II ost inveterate smoker
in history is Nesuvius.
1t is the astronomer who most fire..
quently rises to observe.
When a man doubles his fists you can
hardly say he has four hands.
There is a resemblance between books
and real estate. Both have titles.
The man who lives from hand to
mouth should not have far to go for his
dinner.
To make a Russian name--imitate the
"tchug" of bull frog, give one snee c
and say "ski."
Honor and respect the busy bee.
Once full, he makes straight for home.
-Neto IOrt Ne,os.
A young New England baby was
named William after his father, who was
bilious. -HUper'S Bdzar.
The manufacturers of perforated chair
seats have combined. Their object can
be seen through, and will be sat upon.
A barking dog is the most courteous
of all animals. He makes his bow to
every passer-by. - Binghamtoa Repu5-
LicdR.
Money can slip through pretty small
hole sometimes. A Brooklyn man lost a
considerable sum lately through pew
rent.
All the street cars have a sign "no
smoking" and yet any conductor will
help woman to a light.-Nso York.
World.
A good many of the cashiers who are
settling IN Canada are those who have
neglected to do any settling ovev here
Ne5o York Nscs.
Woman to tramp)-"How's the SOUP"
Tramp-'Tain't quite strong enough,
ma'am. l wish you would wash few
more dishes in it."
Waiter-"You want frogs, eh -
Guest-"Not zee whole animaile, | want
zee, vat you call him-zee drumsteeks.
philadelphia Record.
Brown-"Did you dispose Of that last
lyric yon wrote!" Young Byron-"O
yes, got it off on the publishers for a
song" Yankee Blade.
Duluth people say that that city is
growing 20 rapidly that, sitting down IN
the suburbs, with the city against the
skyline, you can see it grow.
at requires only two things to run a
successful campaign, said the politi--
clan. 'And what are theyl" asked
bystander. "DOllars and sense"
Tramp, picking up five cent piece
"a bloody nickel, hum! Wasn't nothin'
but Jonah all my life. Anybody else
but me "a pick'd up that nickel and it "a
been quarter, sure" (Sighs).
Shakespeare was slightly mixed iu his
''seven ages" 1t is the "whining
school boy" whom the maternal eye has
detected in some fragrant act of dis
obedience that "shifts into the slippered
pantaloon,"
Leader of the Boggsville male quintet
TO editor of the Boggsyille Herald
"What can we do to interest the public
in our organization" Editor without
looking up)--"Disband " - Burliag,oa
Free Press.
A baby girl in Missouri has been named
Rainbow SiNtern years hence, when
she is caught in a summer shower, she
should feel very much at home, although
she would then be little rain DEER
NOITisiOCn Heraii.
They say the German Emperor
Is spelling to pitch in;
He sharpens up his spurs and longs
10 make the sawdust spin.
Who wants TO pit a cock against
The Bantam of Berlin.
Huntington Free Press
Lawyer-"So that is the entire list of
your debts" lnsolyent Manager-"Oh.
no; there are many other little items"
Lawyer ''Hont you want me 20 add
them IN detail2" Manage Just
say, for further particulars see small
bills. "--Amsrica.
An exchange wants the name of the
man who invented the wheelbarron;
but what many more persons crave is the
name Of the man who let's his wheel
barrow stand in the middle of the side
walk after dark. The latter is more
deserving Of death. .-Nerrist0cH Hgud.
Odd that lady buy auything2" asked
the jeweer of his new boy, as the lady
in question left the store, apparently in
a temper. ",he did not. She asked
me for an old gold breast pin, and
asked her if she took this store for Junk
shop. Then she went out. "--JereleF's
Weekly