Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1889-08-01
SERMON ON BASE BAIL.
A Discourse by Rev. Waaang-
doodle Baxter, of the Blue
Light Tabernacle.

mems: De base ball and de arnlca sea-
son am heah. Just now the CRATE
Nashunal game am eperdemlc all ober
de kontry. Onct more de colored man
bets de money his wife and childruns
needs fer food and raiment, only ter find
out what he knowed already, dat dar
am muffin so certain in dis heah world
as dat base ball am uncertain. Dis am
q fact.
De same sun shines on de base ball
field and on de cotton field, but eben
when dey am right along side OBJ each
odder de cotton field am always de
hottest.
Hits de same way wild boys hands.
has nebber yet been able to understand
why a boys hands will blister so much
sooner on hoe handle den day will on
u base ball bat. Gurus, amt ? You
often sees boy so lame dat it glbs him
de loek.jaw to go for bucket ob water,
but he kin run de bases in game OBJ
ball at de rate OBJ forty miles an hour.
De pitcher am de most important
member OBJ de team. De pitchers amt
always Oh de same size. Some oh dem
hold one quart, cwhile odders holds gal.
Ions. Ginerally de pitchers am always
as full as day kin me. Dey nebber
sends the pitcher for beer. He goes
hsself, without being sent.
A good base bail pitcher gets more
salary den de Gubernor OBJ de State of
Rhode Island. He oughter git more,
for he has bigger job.
A Bible has Il great deal fer to say
about base ball. Noah was the fust
pitcher. He pitched de ark widin and
widout. De game was called on account
OBJ de rain. Hit am also rumored dat
one OBJ de great Roman Emperors spent
much oh his time ketchin flies.
| made IN error when | said dat de
pitcher was de most important mem-
brum OBJ de team. l done gone forgot
de umpire.
tells yer, bcrubbed bredleren, and
knows what Is tali.in about, dat any
man who kin umpire,a base ball game
and please bole sides has de quali!erca
shuns oh CRATE statesman.
Oars muffin in de game Oh base ball
elaborated to bring de blush oh shame
ter de cheek Oh molosty onless hit am
de decisions OBJ de umpire.
De game has bin interlooced inter
Australia and de Souf Sea Islands, but
they didn't chen cuss de umpire. DAT
shows dey amt cotched on yit ter de
fust principles oh de game.
A base ball umpire not long ago was
struck by lightnin' in de West. Being
used to SIGH things he SIMPLY grnned
and said : Out on fust.'
d. colored umpire at de ball games
played by de league has one great ad.
vantage obcr de white umpre-dey
can't git black eye. Heah heah !.
heah
An American base ball player hap
peneu ter be in Ireland when riot
broke out. When he heard dc yellin
and de pistols poppin away and saw de
clubs fourishin' in De air, hit made him
homesick. When de excitement Gained
sortcr down he asked et de umpire had
escaped.
Dear berlubbed bredderen, and
equally berlubbed sisters, don't let
Satan cotch yer out on IL fly. Hit de
ball OBJ sin SIGH a lick wild de bat OBJ
righteousness dat you will be able to
make home run to de new Jerusalem.
Glory Glory [allalujerum
Uncle Nose will pass de hat, and as
l needs funds ter git inter dc grand
stand, hopes you will frow dc dimes
lively. De quire will sing,
"When | comes to die
Use gwinter play harp on high"
Texas Sftlngs.