River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1889-01-24

Z ton TIE G4NIN % the AduOts AAlt
arch Of the flock, and the head OF a most
interesting family group for a few hours,
with credit 20 yourself and the good
causes"
at would be lots of fun, il we could
carry il out successfully" said /. very
much taken with the originality Of the
scheme.
''oh, there is no danger of a failure, " he
replied, reassuringly.
''Sally-that's my wife-has gone over
10 Billy Watson's 10 see their new baby,
and won't be home till late; aud the old
lady Is too near blind TO ever find out the
difference"
''But your sisters:"
''Oh. I'll PUT you on to a way to pull the
wool over their eyes. It's a go, amt it:''
Don't say no! All We have To change is
our coats and hats, for I see we both
wear dUcking Overalls, and our boots are
about the same style. Oh, Great Bos-
ton! III show them girls who's the April
fool
''The next thing is horse-swap," said
Miller, as he drew my broad brimmed hat
down over his ears. Il am only going a
couple Of miles up the road. and won't
ride your horse hard. Now let me give
You few pointers"
The only danger Of discovery is from
sister Molly" he added. finally. ''She
was brought up by an aunt in East Texas,
and received no education, but she is as
sharp as steel trap, and youll have to
keep your eyes open when she is around.
However. if you follow my directions you
viii be all right. You see, | am subject
10 fits of neuralgia, and you want to make
'em think you've got an awful bad at
tack"
s.Er.r~ r,-s1T I ,,..va.r.
Easy enough. Take this red handler
chief and tie it around your jaw. There,
that hides half of your face. Now ride
back To- the house and tie your horse Just
inside the gate; the girls viii take care OF
him. Go into the room on the left of the
bah, and drench your face with pain
killer-yOu will find the bottle on the fire.
board--and then Hop over on the bed and
gr0an. II any body speaks 70 you, hold
on to your Jaw and growl. Don't cuSs,
but use as strong language as would be
permissible for a leader in the Sunday
school, and a deacon in the Mt. Pisgah
Church. II You have To say any thing of
double strength. say Great Boston! That's
my own private property, and they are
used u hearing it. And now that you are
thoroughly posted, here's my hand. Good
bye, and good luck TO YOU. | will drop in
al tNFAht - fAtNhs anu -t-t mp f4 are ger
ting along" and he rode of up the hill,
highly elated at the contemplated joke
upon his unsuspecting wife and sisters.
/ fulfilled his directions to the letter.
Leading the big sorrel inside the gate, l
threw the bridle-rein over picket, and
left him where he could paw up flower
bed with his fOrefeet and demolish rose
bush with his heels. felt no apprehen-
sion but that the girls would attend TO his
case as soon as they saw him. No one
was visible about the house as l entered,
but the clatter of earthcnware and the
murmur of feminine voices indicated the
locality Of the kitchen. ] opened the
door on the left Of the nall: threw my hat
in one corner of the room, and my boots
in the middle of the floor; got hold of the
linimeut bottle and rubbed my jaw with
its odorOus contents; kicked over chairs,
and stretched myself on the bed. There
we're two beds in the room. took the
one nearest the replace.
The Clatter of the falling chair brought
a small boy upon the scene. il is Won
derful how boys viii naturally grayitate
10 a racket. This particular kid was, per
haps, four years old, and small for his
age, but he grasped the situation at
once and proceeded to make comments
thereon.
That's granny's bed" said he.
I lay perfectly quiet Of cours the
genuine Dick Miller would have known
whose bed it was without any telling, and,
II he had found it convenient To repose
thereon. would hardly have moved for
forty Ceramics"
I'm gOin' ter tel her. daddy" con-
tinued the boy, menacingly, then waited
for some time to watch the effects of
his threat Finding me 0Ddurate, he
fell back 70 the kitchen for reinforce
meHts, and ! heard his shrill voice an
nouncing that Dads in the room with
his head tied up, an he's wallerin' all over
granny's white cOuterp'in with his dirty,
old breeches.''
81 expect your pa has got another one
uf his bad spells" heard the weak voice
~ the old lady say. "Mebby, one Of you
girls had better 90 and see if he don't
want something." Light feet battered
along the hall, but paused at the door of
my room, and heard little scream Of
lismav.
.'Oh that great old horse! He Is Just
running every thing in the yard, I don't
see WIZ Dick didn't leave him outside. or
call some Of US 70 take him. Kate! l
wish You would come and see after Dick,
4
Docs your face hurt You. brOther:" in
quired a gentle, sympathetic voice at my
bedside
/ would gladly have told her that the
magic of her presence had instantly We
lieved the pain; but / remembered the
course that had been directed to pursue,
and followed il.
'.Oh, uo.'' l growled, there's nothin'
wrong with my face. Nothin' at all,
Don't see how You ever came to think Of
such q thing"
"But Dick. you have got your head tied
up. and can smell that pain-killer and
YOU groan 50. Is there any thing you
wants''
No" lust a. short As could speak. 1
had caught a glimpse Of her through my
fingers and saw she was red-headed and
not very good-looking, and didn't care
If she did get mad. She turned 20 leave
the room when her eyes suddenly rested
on my feet, and she stopped.
Dick" she exclaimed, did you buy
them socks at the stOre:'
'aOf course | bought 'em at the store,
Great Boston. where did YOU think
bought 'em: What difference is IL TO you
where buy my socks:"
.But, brother" she persisted, lyon have
got more good home knit socks already
than you can wear out in two years. What
Is the use Of buying more:';
"Wheu I want socks, | want EN-" l
groWled. '.and there's no use tryin' to find
any thing in this place when man wants
it. Where there are four women to put
things away. how do you expect a man to
find 50 small an article as pair of
socks"
I'm sure don't have To stay here any
longer that am wanted" exclaimed the
thoroughly aroused Kate. There are
other places where | would be welcome.
and / can 20 at any time. You don't
need % throw out Your insinuatiOns at
me, sir"
rolled over with my face 10 the wall,
groaniug YEARLY. and she viciously kicked
my boots under the bed and left the room
TO relate her troubles 10 the old lady in
the kitchen.
4 few minutes atter her departure. sis
ter Molly honored me with a visit. She
had quite recovered from her anger at
Princes ravaGes in the front yard, and
was very solicitous regarding her broth
rr'S headache.
1T j. too bad that You are subject 10
such awful attacks, Dick, and they come
50 sudden and unexpected too. ron
know YOU were feeling quite well this
morning at breakfast. Do Won want me
% send after Sallv:'f
NJ. I had no desire to see sally Just
1 aE