Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1889-05-23
MIR. IsowsER CLEANS HOUSE.

The annual domestic upheaval in the
Bowser household brought the lord aud
master out In new and interesting light,
thus veraciousiy chfonieled In the Detroit
Free Press by the sympathetic partner OF
his joys and sorrows:
What did those two cdored women
wantP inquired Mr.. Bowser as he came
in the other evening just as the Individual
referred TO were passing out.
They called to see when / would be
ready Tor them
GLOW ready"
cit is spring, you know"
well, what has spring, you know, got
to do with two colored women"
81 have got to wash few windows and
take up carpet or two"
House cleaning?"
mo, not exactly, but them"
"see here, Mrs. Bowser, this thing has
got to stop right here and now. Because
come 200 years ago some old cranky
houseKeeper in New England felt Obliged
to rip and tear and upset the house for
two or three weeks Ia April, all you
women OF to-day feel Obliged to keep up
the custom"
"But everybody cleans house more or
less."
"Can't help that. Pm not going to
have everything topsy turvey around
here for the next three weeks. That Will
be the re1ult if you put two women at
work They will spin out the job as long
as possible.
ut won't take over week."
ga weekl 1t shouldn't take one day.
eau 20 at 1t and do all the cleaning ne
cessary in one hour"
] didn't say anything further until
after supper. Unfortunately for me one
of the women returned to ask about q
matter she had forgotten, and Mr.. Bow
ser saw her and said:
care you one OF the women who are
going to clean house here"
eyes, sab"
Excuse me, but I don't believe I'll II
there's any cleaning to be- done I'll do it
myself You nee n't put in an appear
ance here Tomorrow nor any other
day"
AN you's ewine to clean house 2" she
ash cd in surprise.
al am. know does not belong To
mans etate, but have young and in
experienced uIiv who 10 oaOiiy Imposed
on, and am going to prove to her that
this bouse-cleaning business is ali a
fraud"
"Mr. Bowser," said, as he returned to
the sitting room. "didn't you have an ex !.
perience last spring ~
Eyes, ma m, l experienced this house
from top to bottom in Just two hours,
and 1t still remains the cleanest house In
Detroit. have nothing particular to do
to morrow, and shall take hold"
"I-I can't help you any,"
"When want your valuable assist
I IL t.... A
am feeling IN good spirits this evening,
| might as well begin OH that coal stove.
I'll wrestle 1t out into the back hall,
ready to go to the barn in the morn
ing"
l went up stairs just as he pulled off
his coat and spit on his hands. | knew
Just what muss he'd make and / didn't
want to be there to see. In few min
utes heard the clatter Of the stoyepipe,
as four or five lengths bounced around
on the floor, and three minutes later there
WAS wild yell for help. l ran down just
as the girl got in from the kitchen. Mr..
Bowser was lying on his back on the floor
and the stove was lying on Mr.. BoWser.
He was almost black in the face as he
gasped:
take him of-.ake the blamed thing
oil OF me |"
The girl and / succeeded in lifting 1t
high enough for him to roll out, aud he
sat up and groaned aud swore and
threatened dire things.
81 was afraid it weuld be too much for
you, said as | offered him wet towel.
"Oh, you were How kind of you
You are disappointed because the infer
nal thing didn't knock the lie out of
me p
went up stairs and rested awhile.
Then heard him moving the furniture
about, and by and by he came up to say:
al want some salt to put on the carpet
before | sweep"
"But that carpet must come up, MIR.
Bowser. It's been down two years. "
THAT'S all nonsensel Mother never
lifted carpet until 1t was worn out.
Where's the salti"
"But the curtains must come down, the
woodwork be rubbed with damp cloth,
the windows washed, and
"And the roof OF the house raised ten
feet, of course. One would think we'd
had smallpox in the house. III get the
and take the curtains down.
Perhaps I'll take the carpet up to-mor-
row, but It's waste OF time"
He went down and got the ladder, and
/ heard him whistling as he worked at
one OF the curtains. His whistle presently
cut short oil, and there was crash and
yell, and flew down to lind Mr.. Bowser
lying across that end Of the lounge which
still remained in the room.
His eyes were clostd and thought him
dead from his tall. l go5 tie c.mphor
and the girl flung water in his face, and
by and by he gesped and opened his eyes
and family asked:
SIS this heavenl"
mo, Mr.. Bowser," I gently replied,
"this is only spring house cleaning"
"wbat has happened!' he continued,
as he rose up.
"Ycu had fall"
And while was unconscious you took
the advantage of my condition to take
five dollar bill from my walletW
81 never thought OF such thing.
"Well, l can't tell later on l had a
sensation as of some one feeling in my
pockets. IN have that curtain down If
1t takes leg"
"Won't you please give up your
Quixotlc IDA, Mr.. Bowseri No man can
Cant, Ell! Well, III show you TO
the contrary. QulXotic ideal IN show
you and old Quix, too, that can DO
more house cleaning In an hour than you