Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-04-12
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
A New Preventive of seasiclKnsss- The
Lay Of BABY McKee-Peculiar Prohibi-

tion.
The rush for Europe will be greater than
ever this year, so the steamship agents say.
Some Pittsburgers have gone already. Others
by the hundred will be going soon. So new,
and said-to-be infallible, preventive Of seasick-
ness will be welcome.
A friend of mine was talking to Lieutenant
Craven, U. s. N, in New York the other day
about seasickness Said Lieutenant Craven:
when you 20 aboard ship take broad towel
and tie it about you in such way as to COM
press the abdomen generally with tolerable
tightness. Wear this bandaQe during the voy-
age and I'll be bound you will not suffer from
seasickness."
The gentleman to whom Lieutenant Craven
gave this recipe said to me; II believe that
bandage applied as Mr.. Craven suggests is an
excellent preventative. / had generally been
very bad sailor until the last trip at sea made,
when I wore for the first time an electric belt.
This belt was fastened about me as the bandage
should be. In spite of the fact that the voyage
to and from Bermuda was excessively rough,
and nearly everyone was sick, passed through
the ordeal without even qualm."
Anyway. the recipe is SO simple and mex
pensive that it is worth trying.
80
THE Washington correspondents are at
tributing President Harrison's i'll health and
haggard looks to the too pressing attentions
and claims of Baby Mckee. 1t is said that
when he is debating letters to Secretary
Elijah his attention is divided between the sub
ject of the correspondence and the cries of the
wonderful grandchild in the nursery. One can
imagine him after this fashion debating:
IA LETTER TO Mr.. BLAINE.
In regard to the Fishery question, think
There's the baby again. declare
That to write any further is wasting Of ink
Sure somebody's pulling its hair!
All the same I'd advise that Lincoln should
know
Where's the nurse? That baby IL die
What lengths we at present are willing to go
Will nobody answer its cry?
As to Germany, Halstead is still in the ring
Oh, spanking is not any goodl
The Senate is stubborn and savage this spring.
You'd better look after its foodi
Don't believe what the papers are saying, dear
Blaine;
The syrup left on the shelf
My friendship for you is not on the wane-
One spoonful's enough for the elf.
You'll pardon, my brevity, matters Of State
Elijah, it's useless for me
To try to write further, my precious can't wait
Gam pas going to Baby Mckee!
=.
A WEEK or two ago well-known dealer in
live stock, of this city, went over to Washing
ton county to make a deal with big stock
raiser, who is also prominent as a strict Prohi:
bitionist The cattle having been inspected
and the price agreed upon, the Washington
county man retired to the house to make out
receipt and so on, leaving the Pittsburger in
his sons hands. AS soon as the old man had
disappeared indoors, his son, a bright lad near
ing his majority, said to the Pittsburger: This
is rather dry work talking all day, amt itS''
The Pittsburger vehemently assented.
"Well," continued the young man, I've
bottle out in the haymow, and we might as well
get taste of the stuff while dads not by"
The Pittsburger said yes again, and the two
repaired to the haymow and looked upon the
contents of the black bottle. Then the young
Washingtonian hid the bottle in the haymow,
saying as he did so: Don't tell the old man
anything about this-he's awful down on drink
ingr'
OF course the Pittsburger vowed silence as
he smacked his lips and left the young man in
the barn. Two minutes later he was in the
house paying over the money to the old sock
raiser. After all the business in hand had been
dispatched, and the bargain had been closed.
the Pittsburger was about to take his leave
when the old man said, rather awkwardly:
Say are you feelin' dryF I've jug down In
the cellar, and the liquors fine."
1t is hardly necessary to say they were soon
in the cellar. AS the old Prohibitionist drained
his glass he said to his guest: Don't say moth
ing bout this to them boys o. mine-they don't
know about the jugp'