Morning journal and courier., 1889-11-07

DIFFERENT.

The difference between ship and her pas
senger is that the ship heaves In sight while
the passenger is little more particular
Binghamton Leader.
Jawkins-"Geod gracious, Jabez, you're
all broke up. Where did you get that black
eyea" Hogg-"O, that was only little lin
guistic difEcnlty. called few things by
the wrong name."-Texas Siftings.
The woman who declares she wouldn't
marry the best man on earth often picks out
enc Of the worst ones.-Terre Haute Express
Well, what's the matter with that? She Is
consistent, isn't she!'-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
Actress-stDoctor I don't feel as if could
possibly go on the stage Tonight" Doctor
-"What, madame, seems to be the matter
with yous" Actress-''Oh, I don't care
much, doctor; give me the worst ailment you
can for $100."-Judge.
Some one was saying before Jones that the
best method of restoring those who had been
frezen was to roll them in snow. "That may
do we'll enough in winter time, but what yer
goin' to do in summer, when there amt no
snowa" commented that cheerful idiot
Judge.
sPat, you must be an early riser. I always
find you at work the first thing in the morn
ing" "Indade, an OF am, sor. It's fami-
father is an early riser toe, ,eh." ''Me feyther,
is it7 Faix, an he roises that early that ef
he'd 20 to bed little later he'd mate him
self gettin' up in the mornin'. '."-Richmond
Dispatch.
Seene-Bedroom in the Dubarry mansion,
Q am. Mrs. D. Gn an injured tone)-"Thsre
is no reason why you should come home at
this hour and in this condition. It's scanda-
lous." Mr.. D.-sNoth's sort, m'dear. Ten
clock came home n You said was tight,
N jes' wen tout'n got Tight show you
er-diffunse. .N-Galveston News.
States atterney-So the defendant did pros
pose to you that you set fire to the store and
get half of the insurance. State now whether
risk of punishment at the hands Of the law.
What did he say about that. Witness-Yes,
sir; he promised to see me through. He said
he'd manage to catch me ia the act and let
you prosecute me.-Munsey's Weekly.
"Do you remember when and where we
first met" heard loving wife ask her hus-
band Certainly, my dear" "rll wager
you DON'T" she said: IT don't believe you
can tell rae now" .The first time met you
s was quite at rss2 sasHy es At It the shs ss
quite pleased. ''It is very nice to know you
remember so we'll. And when she left the
room he turned to me and said: "For heav-
ems sake, don't say anything, "but I remem-
ber because that night some fellow walked
off with an $50 overeoat Of mine and had to
go homo without any."-San Francisco
Chronicle.
There is man in Weymouth, Mass, who
is q little absent-minded. One day he was
going to bingham for load of hay, and in
tended to get wagon on Pleasant street.
He carried his fork in enc hand and led the
herse with the other, passed by the wagon,
and walked to that town. He hitched his
horse and spoke to a man about slowing the
hay. The assistant asked where the wagon
was. The words he uttered were: ''For
heavens sake have left that wagon at
home" He started back after it, and when
he was on the top of Fort Hill he discovered
that he had left the horse hitchsd in Hing
ham,-Boston Globe.