The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1889-07-17
UNCLE JOE sHeesTER's RIDE.
A Temperance story, with an Old Toper's
Pledge At the End Of It.

a new leaf in the matter OF tarrying
too long at the wine cup was that Of
Uncle Joe Sheester, a jolly old Penn
sylvania Dutch farmer who livss up
our way" said John Newberser. OF
Berks County. Uncle Joe had been
for forty years chiefly conspicuous as
a<lrlzen through his perennial conviv-
iality. A robust bachelor. with
plenty of money, he had been able to
maintain an almost uninterrupted jag
for two score years, without having
to carry with it single care, either
financial, physical, or mental-a con-
dition, in the estimation Of many
OF his fellow citizens, so en-
tirely blissful as hardly to be classed
among things OF the earth earthly.
There were few nights in the week
when Joe's faithful bay mare Betsey
could not be seen tied to the tavern
hitching- post in the village near which
Uncle Joe's farm lay, waiting patient
ly for the coming of her master, when
his libations with an always willing
collection of loungers in the bar-room
had produced certain condition Of
booziness in Uncle Joe that made him
no longer agreeable or profitable COM
pany, at which stage he was always
conducted to his horse and helped up
on her back. Uncle Joe never had
much control of his physical or mental
faculties at such times, so long as he
was afoot but the moment he was in
the saddle on Betsey's back he straight
ened up like major, and was invari-
ably delivered safe and sound at his
farmhouse door. AS soon as Joe
would become settled in his saddle and
the bridal reins were placed in his
hands Betsey would start homeward
like shot.
when Joe was at that stage in his
cups the boys used to play all sorts Of
tricks and Jokes on him, the general
obliquity of his discernment making
him an easy and most credulous
victim. Joe took but little notice o.
his surroundings at such times. In one
OF the Lancaster County towns, moi
far from Joe's farm, there is q mar
who has a remarkable genius for cary
ing and modelling effigies of animals
out OF wood He is really an artist ir
his line. An instance Of his skill II
counterfeiting an animal to the Life
was once shown by wooden dog ht
had carved for patron. He hat
finished the image and placed it out
side of his shop near the sidewalk
A vagrant coach dog that came alons
soon afterward stopped in front OF thu
wooden dog, bristled up and growled
and then pitched into the mock dos
with savageness and earnestnes'
that left no doubt in the minds o
those who witnessed the assault
that the coach dog was deceived by
the cunning Of the artist into believing
the wooden dog real one The coacl
dog did not discover his error until hi
had wiped up the sidewalk with tn,
image several times and knocked it
legs off. Then the real dog sneaket
away with his tail between his legs
looking confused and ashamed.
This artist in wood carving re
ceived an order one day from har
ness dealer in Reading to chop out
life-sized bay horse which the merchan
wanted to stand outside his store as
sign. The horse was to be built stand
ing at rest in an easy, horse-like pose
and to be mounted On four large easy
running castors, so that it could b.
moved in and out OF the store with tn,
least possible wear and tear on tn
clerk. This order was executed in
manner that aroused the enthusiasm
and wonder OF all who saw it. 1t wa
so natural, some declared, that If tn
wooden horse had Weighed it wouldn'
have surprised them. The woode
horse was stored in a shed to avail
the pleasure of the Reading merchant
"About that time Uncle Joe Shoes
ter tied his mare Betsey at the taver
hitching-post one night. and took hi
usual place in the bar-room to wo
conviviality. While he was thus er
gagged, some Of the boys were seize
with an idea that they thought prom
ised brilliant results. They surreI
titiously removed the wooden hors
from the shed, put saddle and bridl
on it, and taking Uncle Joe's Betse
from the tavern hitching-post, tie
the counterfeit horse in her plac,
Betsey they safely housed in the shed
The night was dark, and about te
o'clock Joe came out Of the taver
: with one of his largest cargoe
aboard. Some of the boys helped hil
ON the horse, and placed the reins ]
his hands. Joe had submitted IN,
: chanically, but when he straightene
up in the saddle and Betsey did nj
, dash away as was her wont. he sat fc
a moment evidently speeches. wit
, establishment, and then slapping h
. leg with mis- hand, exclaimed in tor
of maudlin despair:
: "'My alt Petsey ISIS palky NIT me, r
: shing!
. "'Wait, Uncle Joe,' said one of Il
, fellows who were in the joke. Tlllea
a Betsey a ways, then she'll be all right
1.-The road from the tavera was vic
and smooth, and had steep, straigl
: descent for two hundred feet or NOR
At the bottom of the hill there was
8 level stratch of a few wards. when Il