The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1889-03-07
Al Intelligent Waiir.


order and sank down in a chair on thu
opposite side Of the table for little rest
''yes. I've seen smart walters In my time,
Seldom talk bout 'em, or anything, iOl
that matter-I amt no talker-don't run
on and on and converse with my mouth
when I amt got nothing to say-'tain'i
my style; but I want to less mention
Bill Bushnell-smartest man ever
knoWed."
l was ct his mercy. Il was almost
morning and business was slack.
"Bill used to work in colIee-and-cake
saloon over in Jersey City where / did,
and tell youhe was q hustler. And in
telligent and educated. Nothing dusty
bout Bill. Very independent man, was
Bill II customer ct table that he
want tendin' tOcalled to him, Bill would
spot him right in the head with q cake
the first thing. Nights well Of throwed
PAWN block at the man, you zee. But
Bill was independent He used TO work
from midnight 10 noon. He didn't be-
lieye in putin in no extra ti,ss, neither.
When the noon whistle bowed, II he was
eaTyin' an order to a man, he used to let
right 60 Of Il. He said Il want his fault
cause the dishes didn't stick up in the air.
He claimed be want responsible for the
attraction Of gravitatiOn. He blamed Il
on a man named Ike Newton. Said he
was an Englishman and claimed be Used
to know him over In Brooklyn. They
both worked In the same place, he said.
"Bill was very Independent, too, bout
how he done his work, He wouldn't
carry no dishes 'cept in his hands. He
said there want no reserved seats for
ham n bean dishes along on his arms.
Couldn't no cups O. coffee get up above
his wrists and sit there and sun them
selves. It was bad enough, he told Us,
when a scientist Ike him had to carry
around dishes in cheap restaurant 'thOut
'lOwin' them to crowd clear up to his
elbow. Bill arays claimed he was a
scientist. Said water was composed Of
oxyergen and nightergen, and consequent
y was dangerous mixed drink, and be
never took any. Whisky was dif'rent,
he claimed. bein' composed Of pure fuse
lie, and 50 was very healthy and invig-
Grating to the system, specially when q
man was bout petered out by water
drinking.
"Bill had an idea that the same styleo'
man oFter al'ays take the same thing. He
al'ays brought . fat man Boston beans
and coffee in the dark. II the man tried
10 kick. Bill used to put one hand on his
shoulder and hold him down and make
him eat 'em. He al'ays brought lean
man beef and cakes and coffee with plenty
Of milk. It built up their systems, be
claimed. He made 'em eat Il, too. Used
to say 1t made him sick to see q man act
a Il q scientist didn't know what was
good for him. II a man was pretty well
dressed and carried q gold-headed UNI
brella, Bill al'ays took him the whole list
ham an, beef an, three of, white wings,
bootleg, hoaters, threes to comealong, and
ev'Tything else. He'd collect the bill,
too, Il he had to fight the man for half an
hour and drive all the other customers
out Of the room. II one Of these well
dressed men tried any such diahonest
trick as refusing to pay for what Bill
brought him, You bet he made II hot for
the gentleman. He hated dishonesty,
Bill did, and Il one Of these iellers acted
cranky about paying, Bill would usually
pick his pocket Of ten dollars and place il
TO the mans credit, so that he wouldn't
have the trouble Of having 4 fight with
him ev'Fy time he come in. It saved
time in making change, too.
''Bill was very fond Of tips 'mong other
things. Sometimes when q man forgot to
give him anything, Bill would follow him
TO the door and kick him him half way
cross the street. He claimed that he was
entitled to ten cents and he believed in
rebuking dishonesty wherever Il showed
It's hydrant head-that's the way Bill put
It. He said il had q good effect on the
Others at the tables, too-they seen hon
esty was the best policy. This practice
used TO be very dangerous for people going
along the streets and the chief Of police
tried 70 stop ii, but Bin thFowed q cruller
at him and settled him.
''Bin was . great NaiteF-wish he was
here to liven up things, but he amt He
got discouraged and quit. He was having
. big fight with man from Hackensack
one day, trying to make him eat . cheese
sandwich when the man wanted glass Of
milk, and had Just about got him sub
dued when another customer sneaked up,
who had . grudge agin Bill cause he had
one day made him eat q big dish Of beans
when he wanted boiled eggs. and pulled
an old iron pump handle out from undel
his coat and cracked BINS head with It
They took him away to the hospital iol
three months and when he got out he said
be would never wait on folks no more
He said the public didn't appreciate I
when q man Of brains took hold Of ths