Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1889-12-08
sHRRDs AND PATCHES.
Odds and Ends of Humor Dropped IutO
"rhs World s" Waste Basket.
Nllr Ynrt nlnrld

Two young and pretty women entered 4
Broadway car, each carrying in her arms &
large parcel in the most tender and moth.
erly fashion. SO solicitous were they over
their respective parcels that a lullaby
seemed almost bursting from their lips
They were not nurse girls so they must
be mothers, although it was apparent
they were young mothers, and very hand
some ones withal. Half a dozen men
jumped up TO give them seats. The girls
giggled as they sat down-and no wonder,
for the bundles they carried in such a
motherly fashion had been deity impro-
vised, under a sudden inspiration, to rep
resent babies There was little of them
except crook of the arm and lace hand
kerchief to cover a suppostitious babe, bat
enough TO deceive poor. trustful man
The giggle was general, for the girls had
obtained seats on a new and original plan.
NO DOUBT HE DID.
II is to be hoped that the Connecticut
man who sent Thanksgiving turkey 10
all the recently elected Democratic Gov
ernors was thoughtful enough to send a
soup-bOne to each of their unsuccessful
competitors.
ISN'T HE SATISFIED.
In an address to a Germantown Sunday
School Postmaster General Wanamaker
said: 1--WE spend our lives in getting more,
and what does it all amount to in the
end ?" In Mr.. Wsnamaker's particular
case his efforts at getting more" have en-
abled him TO get enough to buy very
comfortable place in the Cabinet. What
more does Mr.. Wanamsker expect?
A SUGGESTION TO THE COLONEL.
Since the Sultan of Turkey declined to
accept Elliott F. Shepard's offer of a mil
lion dollars to become a Christian, what's
the matter with the Colonel keeping the
money and being Christian himself?
WALES FINDS A NEW SENSATION.
II the Prince of Wales is drinking moth
ing on his present trip but mineral water,
as has been stated, it is safe to say that be
is enjoying the most novel sensation OF his
life.
SEEKING INFORMATION.
'See that party over there?" said very
seedy tramp to a business man, as he
pointed to hard-looking specimen of hu-
manity across the street.
ST see that rocky-looking chap over
there" replied the BUSINESS man.
"What is your beet Judgment of him
from general appearances"
81 should take MIN to be very good
man to fight shy Of. "
Wouldn't take him to be a we'll TODD,
easy-going business man?r
81 should say not"
"Don't strike you as a capitalist who
has visited your town with view to
locating a large manufacturing establish
ment?"
He strikes me as a beat"
"Think he isn't the representative of
an English syndicate in search OF a brew
ey?p
"He may be in search of a saloon"
eff you should see two men like him to-
gether would you suppose they had arrived
in town to found college or to invest
their money in property on a speculation"
II should thidk they were a couple OF
dizzy buns who ought to be run in on gen.
eTal principles.
THANK you very much. You see' the
party over the way is Imy partner. we
were curious to know Just what sort OF an
impression we were making as we Jour-
neyed along, and I excused myself 10 run
over and put to you few questions. You
have answered with directness and con-
ciseness, and l will report progress. Good
day.n