Waterbury evening Democrat., 1889-08-05

The ejustice-Eever seen the man whor. you accuse of annoying you!
 The Plaintiff can describe him IT. ,, very large ''
 The Justice-How do you knowa
 The Plalntiff-Because he always aft. down ln the center of the car seat and ;a always pulling when he docs He carr;ee g cane.
 The justice-What makes you think .o,
 The Plaintif-Because hear him nut it ln the corner of the seat He is near his second childhood
 The Justice-Why!
 The Plaintiff-Because ho is always eat ing peanuts. He is Republican. Want to know Whyl
 The Justice-Yes. H
 The Plaintiff he buys the rrib- une and the Times and gives me the Times to read while he reads the Tribune.
 The Justice-You read hls newspaper every morning and yet you say you never gave him any encouragement. Remember your oath.
 The Pl.intiff-He leans over the back of my seat and says 'Good morning." Hook out ol the window without replying. Then he lays the paper on my lap and says: There's something very interesting in the ! see what 1t is. Then I fold up tho paper and hand it back over my shoulder and say; "Thank you."
 The Justice = Never any thing else1
 The Plaintiff --Navers except when re- peat It, He Is deaf. He always says "What:" Then I repeat: 'sThank you!r'
 The Justice-You hear what the plaintiff says, prisoner!
 The Defendant (who Is Q young, medium sized man. carrying an umbrella)-=I now plead guilty, your hones lam John Mau- Icy, tAo man who annoyed her.
 The Justice-Have you any excuse?
 Tho Defcndant-lt will only make matters worse, am afraid. if state it.
 The Justice-You must; you are under oath to speak the whole truth and nothiaa but the truth.
 rhs Detendant-It was because loved her.
 The Plaintiff-People do not annoy those whom they love.
 The Defendant-I wanted to marry her.
 The Plaintiff-Hc asked me if he could buy papers for mo alwaysl
 The Justice-And you refuscd:
 The Plaintiff (indignantly)- did not re-
 The Justice-Did you read his paper the next morning.
 The Plaintiff-Yes, sir,
 The Justice-And tho peKts
 The Plaintiff-Yes, sir.
 Tho Justice-And what did the prisoner says
 The Manufacturing, your honor, ex- cept: "There's something interesting in the paper this morning." when he handed it to me, and "Whatl' when ] said; ''Thank Xou."
 The Justice-And then.
 The Pa}pfiff-J had hi m orrnc<o6
 The Justice-The court decides that t has jurisdiction in this caso.
 The Defendant-Beforc your honor passes judgment wish to say that am not deaf. 1only wanted to make her talk to me.
 The Justice Be careful, prisoner; you arc magnifying your offcnse.
 The Defcndant-I sat III tho middle of the seat so could sec over her shoulder. Igave her the Times because wanted her to have tho best paper. l always carry m umbrella because you can never tell what the weather is gong to be. Ipuff when Ihave to run to catch the train.
 Tho Justice-But tho peanutsl
 The Defendant-I eat them to hide my discomfiture when she rcbuffs me.
 The Juatice-You have not told me how you knew the name of tho man who an. moved you.
 The Plaintlff-The conductor always said: "Good morning, John Mauley, you old duffer. How arc you?"
 Tho Justice-Prisoner, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Have you got any homel
 The Defendant-Yes, your honor Brick, ten rooms, gas and hot water throughout
 The Justice--What Is your business2 Idle, supposes
 The Defendant-Gents' furnishing goods your honor, Twenty-Five hundred dollars clear per annum.
 The Justice-Married or single!
 The Defendant-Your honor, l protest My attentions to this young lady were strictly honorable. have never been mar ried before and never shall be again:
 The Justice-Ehs Whats that.
 The Defendant-I mean, If she marries me.
 The Justice-And you survive her2
 The Defeudant-Yes,y your honor.
 The Justice-Prisoner, am sorry for you. You don't look like man who would will fully annoy anybody. But you pleaded guilty, didn't youi
 The Defendant-Yes, your honor.
 The Justicc-For shamel It Is not often I have ever @ handsome man to sentence. That mustache of yours and your blue eyes and your good clothes will cost you dear. l detest @ masher, and when man who has a respectable appearance Is brought before he charged with annoying women in public places always give them the limit. l wish could sentence you for 0 longer time! Mir. Clerk, make it read "Three months in the bridewell," ," unless
 Tho plaintiffs curiosity gets the better of her, and she glances past the post at the prisoner,
 The Justlce-Unless this woman will marry you.
 The Plaintin-Hc has never asked me, your honor.
 The Defendant-1 will now. Can you not love and marry me, Maryl
 The Plaintiff can not promise to love you, because do already. But will marry you.
 The Justice-Whena
 The Defendant-Now!
 The Plaintiff-Oh, how student
 The Justice--Go, get a license, prisoner. The Defendant-I have one-producing 1t from hls pocket-I always go prepared for any emergency.
 The Justice-By authority of the law I pronounce you man and wife. Mir. Clerk, make it read "many years in the domestic ioil V;p,oo