The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1889-12-13
A MARTYR To HONESTY.
MIR. Upandownjohn, Who, Like
Washington, Gould Not Lie.

Mr. John Upandowniohn had the
misfortune to be a strictly honest man,
In which particular he stood lamen-
tably alone. He was constructed
peculiarly-he was born into an at
mospere OF integrity, and his train
ing had added 10 his natural bent to a
degree thai made him as incapable Of
an untruth, or the semblance thereof.
as George Washington himself. Hav-
ing this tendency, il was well for him
self that he was born with a fortune,
for his rigid adherence to his prin-
ciples untitled him for almost every
occupation. He did try journalism,
but was dismissed ignominiously for
saying OF a candidate of the party
with which the paper acted that he
was a thief and trickster. Then he
essayed the law. but he saw enough
OF law before he had been in an Office
two weeks. while medicine lasted him
sea 'cely week So he determined to
do nothing but live on his income and
be an honest man
be adopted certain rules by which
he lived, and he; could no more depart
f+om them than he could rise from the
earth and take place among the
stars. He ate exactly 80 much, at
certain fixed hours, and OF certain
kinds of food He drank so many
times day, OF certain liquors he
fancied were good for him, measuring
the quantity with the accuracy and
precision OF an apothecary; and so far
did he carry rule into life, that he
put on and of his clothing on certain
days in certain months, without refer
enoe 20 weather. / saw him shiver-
ing one bright but very cold morning
IN June, and demanded the reason.
Il laid of my woolens this morn
ing" said he.
''Why lay of your woolens in winter
weather." 1 asked.
The 1st of June Is my day there
for" said he The weather ought to
be warm to-day. 1 can not break my
rule"
He never neglected to pay debt,
and never told a lie. not even a white
one. He was cut out of an aunt's will by
responding to her anxious inquiry as TO
how she looked in a certain dress which
she had set her heart on by the simple
ton to truth barred him, no matter
what path he took.
He was frightfully unpopular,
though, Notwithstanding he held
high position among his follows. His
child-like simplicity and sterling in
tegrity made him valuable, and be-
sides every one knew that his devo-
tion to truth was honest, and had moth
ing Of bumptiousness or malice IN it.
Mr. Upandownjohn was a member of
the Leviathan Club. / write the word
IOas sadly, for he is a Leviathan no
more. The cause and manner of his
leaving tina: delightful association OF
good men is the animus of this paper.
The members of the Leviathan were
pleased with the appearance Of Mr.. Up
andownjohn, and made much of him.
Had they known him better they
would have loved him less. for his pc
culiar virtue was never popular in that
club.
He excited attention, first. by his
habit of correcting loose-talking mem
bers when their statements were high
ly favored with romances, as, for in
stance, when one gentleman asserted
that his father owned Flora Temple
when she was a colt using her as a
common hack, and selling her finally
for fifty dollars. Mr.. Upandownjohn
quietly put him down.
II knew your father" he said, 'and
a worthy. truthful man he was. He
died just three years before Flora Tenn
pie was foaled. The mare he used for
hack and sold for fifty dollars must
have been some other famous animal
Flora Temple Will some day be the
death of me- Every racing season
some one narrated the circumstance OF
his father having owned Flora Temple
and worked her as a hack, and what
is more exasperating, he always sold
her for fifty dollars. Would that /
could find one man whose father sold
her for sixty dollars or sixty-two dol
lars and fifty cents. You, my dear
sir, are the sixty-eighth man this
season whose father once owned Flora
Temple. She was the most extensive
ly owned mare l ever knew any thing
about"
On another occasion gentleman de-
tailed with great minuteness how. in
doing the regular thing at Niagara by
going under the sheet, the wind
parted the torrent and he stopped out
upon the shelf outside. when, to his
horror. the opening closed, leaving
him outside the falling sheet on a
narrow ledge of rock With great
presence of mind he darted through
the falling sheet and rejoined the
frightened party, who supposed him
lost forever.
Mr. Upandownjohn took pencil and
paper, and worked all night and the
next day. without sleeping or eating.
The next evening he exhibited to the
hero of this marvellous adventure the
weight Of the water in that sheet, and
demonstrated to him the fact that had
he got under it, he would have been
mashed, though he had been con-
structed of steel.
''Are you sure it was Niagara?" he
asked, anxiously- Wasn't il some
other fall?"
One day a member died, and the
club did the usual thing by him. A
committee was appOinted to d raft resO-