The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-06-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

apparent ingenuousness is frequently
genuine ingeniousness.
$50 you are iail-bird, eh1 What did
did they put you in for?' "Robin."
1t is when the Young Idea first begins
to shoot that a little learning is a danger
Gus thing.
Although baseball is termed the noble
game, third of the men engaged in each
nine are basemen. - Graphic.
1t is wise child that goes out of the
room to laugh when the old man mashes
his thumb. -3eyre Haute Elpress.
Customer-''Say, waiter, this shad
tastes very tishy." Waiter-"Yes, sab;
shads is fish, sab. ."-Philadelphia Record.
| cannot sing the old songs,
As / have been requested;
When last tried to warble them
The Mayor had me arrested.
Nebraska State Journal
II wasn't exactly mad about it, " said
Slithersby, discussing his election from
a theatre, "but was somewhat put out"
-Hayper's Basar.
"Why do they call them spar buoysl"
she asked the purser. &C.," said he, ~
suppose because they are always fighting
the waves. Ocean.
'Alack,n he said, ''here is a bill.
But where's the cash with which TO pay it?
"Alack, he said again, forsooth,
1t was a lack that made him say It,
Merchant TrdUeIer.
Fond Mother-'You must remember.
Emeline, that fine feathers don't make Il
fine bird" Daughter-"Tru mamma,
but they do make awfully pretty hats. "
Time.
Scene; A lonely spot on dark night.
"Would the gentleman be so kind as to
assist poor man! Beside this revolver, l
have nothing in this wide world. "-B0sto-s
Gdzette.
Rose (at the cafe)-"Let's see. We've
ordered Irish potatoes, haven't we! What
can we have to match theml" Emily
"Ah, yes! Waiter, pat of butter,
please"
Amateur Hubert-"Me lud, five moons
were seen tonight, four fixed and the
other did whirl." Muflled voice from the
audience" Did jever-hic-try bro
mide? PttsJurg Dipateh.
A gallant young man, under festal
circumstances, referred to one member Of
the sex he eulogized as "a deleotable dear,
so sweet that honey would blush in her
presence, and treacle stand appalled,"
You'll find it true if you'll observe,
Although the finding out may pain ye,
It's sometimes hard 10 draw the line
'Twixt larceny and kleptomania.
Merchant TraUeler.
..NIy dear, was that a hymn you were
singing to Lord Fitz dc Grey last night9"
asked the fond father on Monday morn
ing. "Oh, yes, papa; it was When l
Can Read My Title Clear "-Ne'o York.
Sun.
Mr.. jess Wadde to his bride)-"Please
pass me the sugar, sweetnessH Looks
up in some confusion as the waitress
hands him the sugar bowl with unusual
aacrity. Suppressed laughter from the
other boardcrsl. .-JUdgc.
A Western college has school for
journalism in it, John, kill that editorial
ON The Whatness of the Where, and cut
down "A Lunar Myth, so that we can give
halfa column TO the Ksthetics of Canine
Contests '"-MsrchaRt Trareler.
IAlu llnll Is 10 btl ibu MANY f"
draft of your plans after marriage, George,
and submit il 10 me- George thought
I'd leave that to your generosity, sir.
/ About fifty thousand will do, though.
| I'm draw when we get to Paris. - chicago
| Journal.
4 man fell overheard near Havana, and
| "a LAWYER Jumped into the water 10 rescue
| him lust as "a shark started to seize the
Door fellow The shark reached the man
first and swallowed him, but the lawyer
was the quicker, for he succededed in
getting the mans boots and pocketbook
before he disappeared from sight.-M Z.
| Mercury.
The Cuban soldiers and bandits vie
with each other in deeds of atrocity Al
Guantanamo, while looking for iddnap-
pers, the authorities butcherei nine per