davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18
JOKING IN EARNEST.
Franks Which Often Proceed from Serious
or Malicious Purpose.

Franks Which Often Proceed from Serious
or Malicious Purpose.
The various professions have their own
records of practical jokes, which too
often proceed from some serious or mali
cious purpose. One such prank, under
taken with vengeful design, was that of
the Belgian painter Writ. who, year
after year, sent pictures to the Salon,
only to have them returned, as the
judges, whose duty it was to pass upon
the pictures submitted. would have
nothing to do with him.
Finally he became possessed of a
genuine Rubens, which he sent off to the
Salon bearing his own name. 1t was at
once sent back to him, and then, as the
phrase goes, he had the judges on the
hip, and could taunt them with not
knowing the work of a master when
they saw it.
Another such practical joke was play
ed upon the late Nine. R~udersdorif by
Sir Michael Costa, the conductor. At
rehearsal one day the lady declared that
she could not sing her song as it was
written, but must have it transposed
half a note lower.
"But, madam" said Costa, consider
the inconvenience, especially to the wind
instruments, and particularly as all my
men cannot be counted upon to transpose
at sight"
But madame was obdurate, and Costa.
Struggling his shoulders, bowed in acqui-
escence.
Every well, gentlemen" said he, turn
ing to the bewildered orchestra, and
closing his cor Tomorrow you viii
play it a note lower"
The next day, however, just before
Nine. Ru~dersdorff came on to sing, Costa
whispered to the orchestra: "In the orig
inal keyi No change" And SO it was
sung.
At the close of the air the singer turned
to Costa and thanked him warmly.
II am charmed!' she said.
MADAME" replied Costa, with a touch
of pleasant irony, 1--WE are also charmed.
You sang it in the original key"
Had Nine. Rudersdorif's ear been as
unerringly correct as that of certain phe-
nomeIai musicians the joke could never
have been successfully carried out, but
the conductor, of course, knew with
whom he had to deal.-Youth's Com
aanion
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18
There's No Substitute fer Leather.

Leather is a unique material. There is
no substance in any way analogous to it
Flexibility and durability are opposite
qualities that no other product possesses
in such a marked degree. In the tanned
skin the gelatine and tannin, the animal
and the vegetable kingdom. are com
bined in an indissoluble union which
will withstand the continuous FRACTIONAL
yea which shoes, harness, betting, ETC..
are subjected to better than anything
else. 1t is the one commodity for which
there is absolutely no substitute. Cotton,
wool, linen and silk are to some extent
interchangeable; wood. iron and stone
are frequently used in lieu of each other,
but, Notwithstanding the scientific re-
search and discovery of she present age,
nothing has been invented to supersede
or obyiate the necessity for leather. With
the single exception OF breadstuffs, none
of the great staples Of commerce has
such a numerous constituency. Every
inhabitant of the country, without regard
to age, sex or color OF condition in life,
is to a greater or less degree a consumer
of it.-Shoe and Leather Repora7.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18

An excellent imitation of old bronze
has been introduced in some Of the art
products of that character. 1t is well
known that the repeated applications to
copper or brass Of alternate washes of
dilute acetic acid and exposure to the
fumes of ammonia result in a very an.
tique green bronze; but a more rapid
method Of producing this beautiful ap
pearance has long been a desideratum.
1t is now found that this may be accom-
plished by immersing the articles in a
solution of n part perchloride of iron
in two parts Of water, the tone acquiring
darkness with length of immersion, OF
the materials may be boiled in a strong
solution of nitrate of copper. 1t is also
found practicable t insure the desired
effect by immersing the articles in a solu.
ton of two ounce of nitrate of iron and
the same quantity of hyposulphite ofsoda
in half a pint of water, drying and burn
ishing completing the process New
York Telegram.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18
-Crnste1 with DillnnnIs.

The Buddhists in Burmah do not con-
slider the question of expense in beauti-
flying their temples. Here is the descrip-
ton of the new vane of a pagoda at
Rangoon: THE vane is about three feet
by oneand a half feet broad, and thickly
crusted with precious stones and lovely
fans of the red Burmese gold. One ruby
alone is worth 5000 rupees, and there
are several hundred rubies alone on this
beautiful thing. On the tip of the iron
rod on which works the vane is a richly
carved and perforated gold ornament
called the Semboo. 1t is somewhat egg
shaped and a foot in height, tipped by al
enormous diamond encircled by many
smaller ones crusted on like barnacles
All owe this exquisite oval object arc
similar clumps of diamonds, no Other
stone being used for this part."-St
Louis Globe-Democrat.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18

The finest and best sponges in the
world are now obtained along the Flori-
da Keys. Native Floridians do the prin-
cipal gathering. There are some Bahama
Islanders also. The sponge fishers are
called conks. They do not dive, but tear
up the sponges with three tined forks on
long poles. A Greek came down from
New York a year or so ago and tried
gathering them by diving, using a regular
divers suit. but he made a failure of it.
The sponges grow rapidly. a bed which
has been fished clean will be covered
with a new growth in six months. The
product amounts to nearly half a million
dollars annually.-True Flag.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18
THEY BORROW, BUT NEVER RETURN

Oh, the ills of this life are many.
And the heart ~breakings not a few
Pure sympathy comes not from any.
It matters not much what you do.
| can sometimes trust my umbrella,
Nor over its lingering yearn.
But the books | lend to a fellow
They never. no. never return
The harvest may wait for the reapers,
The tailor may sleep Ger your clothes,
But the earth is plagued. with book keepers
And no one a cure for 1t knows
The sunshine that goes from the meadows.
Comes back when the frosts shall adjourn,
And the leaves play again with their shadows.
But my books viii never return,
l once had the wisdom of ages
Shut up in my glass case for use.
Now It's gone, by invisible stages,
From Murray to old Mother Goose.
My Euclid, | still can remember,
Like the odor from ONE ancient urn
Went out, TO come back in December.
That December will not return
Lend your friend, your dog, yea. your sister
You viii find each some day, no doubt;
But a book goes down the long vista
And ten to one never comes out
Do | know whom ! made the loan 10:
No, but my brains | need LIT churn,
What matters it where they have gone to-
know they will never return.
Union and Advertiser
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18
A=London Cabby's English.

One does not expect to speak bis
mother tongue in the highways and by
ways of Paris, Berlin or Vienna, but in
London one hopes at least to be under
stood, as is often not the case. A Wash
ingtonian doing the sights of this Eng
lish capital ordered his eabman to drive
to the Alhambra. "Where is it, SIR"
asked the cabby. "Well, my nan that's
what l don't know and what you ought
to know, if you pretend to know your
business" Poor cabby was nonpluscd
and asserted with evident modification
that though he had made his living as a
London cabman since boyhood he had
never heard of such a place as the AL
hambra. why" said the much dis
gusted American, Its a place where
they have music and dancing and plenty
to drink" "Oh, it's the Helumbria you
mean, SIR" and with sarcastic smile on
his face at the pronunciation Of his
American cousin ne drove to the place
in question Washington Herald.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18

Old Mrs. Baron Mure told me that Lord
Bvron's mother was q fool and his father
was a rascal. He poisoned his first wife,
Lady Caermarthen, who was divorced
from him because her father, Lord Hold
ernesse, left his money to her illegitimate
children, and he had nothing more to
expect. Miss Gordon, though she was
told of this, and had a fortune of $4,000
q year, married him. He spent all her
estate. saving about ESQ a year, on which
she lived with her son in a garnet at Aber-
deem, supported in a great easur by
her friends. who, when they killed a COW
or sheep, would send her part. She was
always fat. When Mrs. Siddons appeared
first in Edinburgh Miss Gordon took a
hysteric fit i the playhouse, chung round
Mrs. Mure's neck, kicked off her shoes,
and was carried out by Mr.. Dundas, now
chief baron, and put into Lord Napier's
carriage. which conveyed her. screaming
all the way, to Georges square, where
Size then resided with Baron Clark's
mntner.-Gharles X. Sharpe.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18
"Song of the Shirt"

At a recent sale in London, the original
manuscript of four stanzas of Hoods
"Song of the Shirt brought only $40.
Now, when shirts are made by piece
work, going through the hands of a dozen
women, none of whom are capable of
making a whole garment. Hoods poem
has lost much of its application, though
the misery it describes remains. Pitts
burg Bulletin.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18

Jack bursting in suddenly)-Oh, girls.
| have seen such a dreadful sight down
the lane! Poor, sweet Lily Jones is hang
ing on a limb
Omnes-Good graciousl How horrible!
Run for a policeman.
Jack-Calm yourselves. She still lives.
She hanging on-a limb of the law
Pittsburg Bulletin
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18
Some Foolish People

Allow a cough to run until it gets beyond
the reach of medicine. They often say,
''Oh, it will wear away but in most
eases it wears them away. Conld they
be induced to try the successful medicine
called Kemp's Balsam, which is sold on a
positive guarantee to cure, they would I'M
mediately see the excellent effect after
taking the first dose. Price ACE and 81.
Trial size free. At all druggists.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18
odoriferou. Flowers of Europe.

OF the 1900 kinds of flowers which
grow in Europe only APO, or 10 per cent.
are odoriferous. The commonest flowers
are the white ones, of which there are
1,194 kinds. Less than one.fifth of these
are fragrant. OF the 951 kinds of yellow
flowers n are odoriferous; of the 1928
red kinds, "a; of the 594 blue kinds, 81;
of the 800 violet blue kinds, 10. OF the
240 kinds with combined colors, % are
fragrant.-New York Telegram.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18

Il wish | knew how to tell a good
egg from a bad one," writes a young
housekeeper; ''they all look alike to
me-" Look at 'em with your nose,
Clara, look at 'em with your nose. You
must be blind if you couldn't hear the
difference then.-Burdette in Brooklyn
Lnn1n
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1889-10-18

Go to the new store under the Opera
House and see what a nice pair Of mems
Winter Boots you can buy for $40.
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16
GREAT FALLS TRIBUNE.
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 10. 1889.
SEMI-W EEKLY
NEW EXTENSIONS.

This is time of railroad consolidation.
Competition as we'll as enterprise is i'm
polling the great railroads to form ALI
ances, reduce fixed charges and make
profitable extensions.
The Great Northern railway enterprise
in which Great Falls is so closely con
cerned is the greatest of these operations
1t will unite in one great system fleet Of
lake steamships and the railroad lines
which extend from Duluth to Butte and
from st. Paul to the Red river valley and
South Dakota. The extension of this
system to the Pacific coast will provide
another trans-continental line which
starting at Great Falls will traverse rich
mineral and agricultural regions on its
way to the more populous regions of
Washington and Oregon whence there is
abundant railroad and steamship commu-
nication with California. ~
In going westward the new railroad
now unites Spokane Falls with the Ore
gon Railway and Navigation company's
lines which are in turn closely linked
with those OF the Union Pacific. What
ever may be the route of the Pacific ex-
tension it cannot fail to profit by this
branch which taps at Spokane Falls the
rich country tributary to that important
city which is recovering rapidly from the
ravages of fire.
The Seattle, Lake Shore and Eastern,
now in course Of construction, is another
enterprise which must look to the Great
Northern railway for an eastern outlet,
1t has nothing to expect from the North
ern Pacific, which is concerned in the
growth of Tacoma and aims to monopo-
lie all the traffic of the country west OF
the Cascades.
In addition to this, the Oregon Rail.
way and Navigation line is pushing east
ward to Missoula and has already reached
st. Joe, Idaho. The approach ofthe Ore
gon line to Miss ,ula causes the Northern
Pacific much concern, because it ma,
result in a combination betW cen the
Great Northern system and the Oregon
that would divide the traffic of the Mis-
sofia region, prior to the completion of
direct railroad from here to the coast.
Mr.. Hill keeps his plans secret ant
thus causes his opponents much concern
But it is certain that ir. going WESTWARD
his trunk liAe will enter Il friendly coun
try, which will provide feeders that will
render the Great Northern route Of til
highest Importance in railroad circles.
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16
THE CONSPIRACY.

The Silver Bow republicans are bring
ing disgrace on their party by their at
tempt to overturn on technical grounds
the verdict of the people at the polls. In
this county and in Fergus there were
grave informalities, but the democrats
have not sought to go behind the returns.
They have regarded the vote cast at the
polling places as final because it out
weighed all technicalities and was the
deliberate expression Of the popular will
which is the highest tribunal IN such
matters.
| The democrats have reason to expect
| like respect from the Silver Bow repub-
licans for the vote cast there on the LIST OF
October. So far the democratic party
has acted with forbearance, expecting
that the republicans who accept good
humoredly the popular verdict. They
have not engaged in recrimination or
disputes. They have facilitated in every
way the canvassing of the returns and
done all they could to bring about an era
of good feeling in order that the whole
people might rejoice at the advent OF
statehood. But there are limits to this
forbearance. They will not allowa par
tisan board to oyerturn the decision y
the people on preteXts which are flimsl
and . untenable. They will resis
every step in this plot whatever ma,
be the consequences. On the conspira
tors will rest the full responsibility q
any troubles that may arise. ..
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16


Our title is clear to statehood if the
Butte conspirators do not plunge the
state into anarchy and prolong our per:
1od of territorial servitude by provitaing
the Harrison administration with pre-.
text for Withholding the needful procla-
clamation. The omnibus bill is SO ex
plicit that without the most fragrant dis
regard Of public rights statehood canno,
be denied us. The omnibus bill says:
And if the constitutions and govern,
ments of said proposed states are republl-
in form, and ii all the provisions of this
act have been complied with in the for
nation thereof, it shall be the duty Of the
president OF the United States to ISSUE
his proclamation, announcing the result
of the election in eacl. and T. ereupon thu
proposed states which adopted constitu
tions and formed state governments, a
herein provided, shall be deemed admit
ted by congress into the union under ant
by virtue of this act on an equal footing
with the original states from and afte
the date Of said proclamation.
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16

REsARDINa the Great Northern rail-
way system: 1--WE have already spoken
more than once of the great foresight and
large mindedness which have made such
a splendid record for the St. p, NJ. & M
liy., and only a few weeks ago we touch
ed upon the great future which is still
ahead of the system, saying that "much
that has been achieved, great as it is, can
only be regarded as means to ends still
greater" Even though tile company had
long outgrown its, old name and "the
Manitoba has long been an absurd title
for the magnificent system to which il
has been applied, still it will be difficult
| to accustom ourselves to the new name
and forget the one which has grown sc
| familiar. The Great Northern falls he'll
to a remarkable record and the promise
Of IL no less remarkable future" Thus
speaks the Northwestern Railroader
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16

THE meeting of the gram lodge of
Odd Fellows on Tuesday should lie
made the occasion for a hearty display
of civic hospitality. The Odd Fellows
are strong, influential body. who have
u worldwide organization which confers
great benefits on its members. The
grand lodge of Free and Accepted Masons
which meets on Wednesday, the Both in
slant, should receive like welcome
Great Falls ought to be made the most
agreeable place in which such assem-
bages should be held.
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16

THE attempt of the republican conspir-
ators to steal the legislature and reverse
the will OF the majority Will simply re-
suit in postponing our admission as a
state indefinitely. They will find their
undertaking bigger one than they con-
tracted for. The democrats do not pro.
pose to stand by and be robbed of the
fruits of their victory so easily. Louisi-
ana returning board methods will not
prevail here, and the conspirators will
find it out in due course of events. The
people elected democratic Legislature
on the lst of October and democratic
Legislature it will be or none at all, J
Madison Wells Jack of Butte to the con
trary notwithstanding.
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16
Fifty Mares and
Geldings for sale,
broken or unbroken.
See them before pur-
chasing elsewhere.
GEO. r. FIELD.
Estrayed.
ACCOMMODATION

For travellers going to Barker uEd Kib.
hey from Great Falls. Good stablinr
and iced. Board and Lodging. Wines.
Liquors and Cigars. Rcbt Bates, Otter
Creek, six miles above Bolt.
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16
A Hale Old Man.

A hale old man, Mr.. JAS Wilson Of
Aliens Springs, ILL.,, who is over sixty
years Of age, says: II have in my time
tried great many medicines, some Of
excellent quality; but never before did
find any that would so completely dc
all thut is claimed for it as Chamber
lain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoe'
Remedy. 1t is truly wonderful med
icine.' For sale by Lapeyre Bros.
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16

LEwIsTowN has had like Great Falls Il
Jail delivery. In this instance two pris-
oners overpowered the jailer and were
Joined in their flight by another who hid
enjoyed comparative liberty as water
carrier The prisoners were 50 audacions
as to help themselves to the jailer's re-
volver. rifle and clothes. 1t is now as
hard to hold criminals as it is to catch
them 1.-
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16

SHELBY ELI DMLARD, formerly of the
Corvallis New Idea, now of the Red
Lodge Pickett, has been elected mayor
of Red Lodge where he went to reside
less than two months ago. Red Lodge
thus proclaims herself a liberal town and
patron Of journalistic enterprise.
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16

Makes the lives of many people miser-
able, and often leads to self-destruction.
We know of no remedy for dyspepsia
more successful than Hoods Sarsaparilla.
It acts gently, yet surely and efficiently,
tones tile stomach and other organs, re-
moves the faint feeling, creates good
appetite, cures headache, and refreshes
the burdened mind. Give Hoods Sarsa-
parilla fair trial. 1t will do you good.
Ladies' and Gents Underwear and
Blankets the most complies line at W. b.
Raleigh g. Co.'s, a05-i
Great Falls tribune. [volume] (Great Falls, Mont.) 1887-1890, 1889-10-16

THAT HACKING COUGH can he so
quickly cured by shiloh's Cure. We
guarantee it. For sale by Lapeyre Bros.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1889-03-08
LATE NEWS ITEMS.

THE second reunion of the veterans Of
the Confederate Cavalry was held at New
Orleans on the 4th. There were about 200
veterans present.
NATHAN GoFF (Republican) and Presi-
dent r. s. Carr, of the State Senate (Union
Labor), on the 4th took the oath OF Office
as Governor OF West Virginia, and made
formal demand upon Gov. Wilson to va
cate, but that gentleman refused and re-
ferred the two aspirants to the courts,
pending the contests between Fleming and
GoH. f--
The President on the ID approved the act
extending the limits of the port of Mem
phis, Tenn.
AT the meeting of the New York Acad-
envy Of Medicine on the I'd, DIR. w. E. For
rest spoke on the cost Of the yellow fever
epidemic. He said that the epidemic in
the South in 1873 cost $4,000 lives and $780,
100000.
MAJoR-GENERAL JAMES r. DAVIS has
appointed committee aud ordered an in
vestfgation of the alleged unsoldierly con-
duct of the military companies of Clinton,
kass.
LEE ALLEN, the seven-year-old son Of
W. p. Allen, of Knoxville, Ca. had been
presented with a new patent swing. While
/ trying it he fell out, and in grasping at it
/ became entangled in such way that he
was choked to death.
/ THE bill Withdrawing the public lands Of
| the United States. from sale passed both
| houses of Congress on the 1st. Hereafter
/ public lands can only be disposed of under
the provisions OF the homestead and the
4 pre-emption laws. The bill also provides
/ that persons who have abandoned their
honesteads shall be permitted to enter
! another one
THE Democrats having secured the four
certificates from West Virginia, the Re-
publican majority in the lower house Of
Congress is at present three. By next
December, however, there viii be four new
! States, who will send four or five new Re-
publican Congressmen to swell this ma
jority.
TIE Jockey Club of Birmingham, Ala,
on The I'd, purchased seventy three acres
Of ground, for the sum of $4,000. Twenty
| thousand dollars has been secured with
which to erect the grand stand, which viii
seat not less than 1000 people.
W. H. GRAY, of Grenada, Miss, con-
ductor, was killed at that place on the ID,
while attempting to couple a train. He was
| knocked down and literally ground to
shreds by the break beam, none OF the
wheels touching him.
TUE Ashland and Boden plantations
near Dona1sonville, La, formerly belong.
ing 70 the late Duncan r. Eenuers were sold
on ths 2d at sherif's sale under an ordeF
toF partition, for $s5, ice,
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1889-03-08
Arnnnh A. rss,lre nonrd.

BosToN, March 1.-An even hundred
members Of the Massachusetts Tariff Re
form League dined at the Thorndyke last
evening. This was the initial gathering
around the festive board, which win be
repeated monthly. Joseph Quincy, chair
man Of the executive committee. presided
and led the after dinner speaking. He
was followed by Henry W. Lamb, Emer-
son ". Judd, secretary OF the League: E.
L. Brigham, president OF the Vermont
Tariff Reform Leagues John s. Harlow,
pre- sident OF the Massaeh1setts Reform
Club; Jos. S, Ropes, vios.p president q the
League: General Hazard Stevens and N'
s. Chamberlain.