Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-05-03
The Lime Kiln Club on SIS the White
Man Improving?''

NcziE lHlpI OVlfiS
81 hev been requested" said Brother
Gardner, as the meeting opened, ''to pre-
sent to dis club dis evenin' de query, is de
white man improvin'? Pickles Smith will
lead off de discushun.
Brother Smith replied that he had been
taken unawares. He had never given the
matter thought. He had seen more or
less white folks around him each day, but
had given them no particular attention.
He had sore throat, bad headache,
chlllblainS on both feet, and there were
strong indications that frst-class boil
was about to hit him in the leg. He would
ing anything like decided opinion on the
white man question.
Col. Anonymous Smith next followed.
It was question that had bothered him
not little. Thirty years ago the white
man got drunk. He gets drunk to-day.
Thirty years ago the, white man sold his
vote. He saw several Of them bought at
the last election. In the years gone by the
white man swore, gambled, stole, robbed,
lied, cheated and committed murder. If
there had been any moral improvement the
Colonel couldn't see it. He had always
felt a sympathy for white folks, and had
always hoped they would do we'll, and it
grieved him that no better progress had
been made.
Elder Toots said he was glad the ques-
ton had come up. The white folks were
always concerned for fear the colored race
was retrogading, but the boot belonged on
the other foot. Within twenty years the
white man had invented the telephone,
but alas, the State had to pass laws to keep
him from sending cuss words over the
wires. The white man had erected Won
derful bridges, improved the telegraph,
brought out new orders of architecture,
improved in painting and sculpture and
elevated the standard of schools and sOcie-
ty, but there was another side to the pic
ture. The white man had discovered other
ways to beat the laws passed for the pro-
tection,o of life and property. Lying, swear
ing, stealing and embezzling were hardly
counted as sins. Visitors had picked pock-
cts and stolen overcOats. Men who paid
the highest pew-rent in church were doing
the heaviest stealing. Dressing had be-
come an art, but running in debt and beat
ing creditors had become greater one.
The elder had nothing against the white
man on account of his color. The Lord
had made him white, and he was not to
blame for it. But, when the white man
stood on a corner and claimed to own the
earth, it was we'll to investigate his claim
Waydown Bebee said he had always felt
kindly toward the white man, and had
always been willing to extend him help
ing hand. He could remember him back for
quarter of century. If there were any de-
cided improvements he could not name
them. If the white man was better educa-
ted, so were all other men. Inventions
were numerous, other races had helped to
make them so. Take the white man as
man and he had doubtless refrigerated. He
was losing his reverence for the law. He
was living fast and loose, full of gossip,
suspicious and having no care how he made
his money 50 long as he made it. If the
white man had got nearer to the moon by
ed new liquids to get drunk on and new
ways to beat the law. If the soul had be-
come more poetic, law suits for debt had
also become numerous. If the average
mind was living nearer to Milton and
Shakespeare, just as many bodies were be-
lug committed to State prison.
Sir Isaac Walpole said the query had
oft hoo, ,4o.1 4o1
take advantage of this occasion to say that
he thought he could see some slight i'm
provement in the last twenty-five wears.
Who were Mormons? The white folks.
Who were bigamists ? The white folks.
Who were embezzling from banks, steal
ing from postoffices, and filching school
money? The white folks. All the sedition
was uttered by white men. ALI trusts and
monopolies on the one hand, and all the
strikes and violence on the other, included
only white men. 1t was his conviction that
white folks were bad lot, but not quite
as bad as they used to be.
Samuel Shinn arose to remark that he
had seen a good deal of white folks, and
had been brought into collision with them
more OF less every day for years. He
couldn't say as a beginning that he liked
the color. 1t was not fast. 1t ran all the
way from the color of an old roam horse
turned out to fresh snow, and he could
never be made to believe that straight hair
was of any good except in the case of a
wolf. White folks had cheated him, lied
to him, stolen his wood and poultry, and
he had come to distrust the race He didn't
doubt that there was some slight improve
ment, but even savages are compelled to
improve. He believed the time was near
at hand when black would be the popular
color around and when the man with the
woolly head would step to the front.
"Gem len,' said Brother Gardner as he
arose, ode queshun has no doubt bin decided
in de negative, but we shouldn't b al down
too heavy on de white folks. Dey has had
a heap of tribulashun, espeshully in dis
kentry. [ fur one hev great an abidin
faith in de fucher of de white man. He is
gradually learnin tospeak the troof, an to
keep his hand off of odder folkses' chickens.
Time will make him fear OF respect the
law, brush up his manners an compel him
to realize dat buildin' big skull houses
doan' make manners OF bring bizness. Let
us gin him far chance to show de stuff he
are made Of. De answer to de query will
darfo' be: He ar improvin' mighty slow.
but expects change Of fodder will make
him hustle. We will now dispel de
meetin' an adiudicate homewards."