The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-06-27

Written with Six Dollar Pair OF Shears
Acknowledgements.


Written With . Six Dollar Pair of Shears
Acknowledgements.
Dead issues-Old newspapers.
Every tramp carries roamin' nose.
Always go tight, and you won't get
left.
The home stretch--putting up clothes
line.
An Iowa woman has invented a
spankaphone.
A man who is out of pocket might as
well be out of town.
The bee hive is the poorest thing in
the world to fall back on.
If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each
of his children a drum.
Flies work from sun to sun, but the
mosquitoes work is never done.
A philosopher has discovered that men
don't object to be overrated, except by
assessors.
Cicero said, "The pursuit of all things
should be tranquil" How about cap.
turing fleas?
In some of the new styles there is no
change. Poor relatives are cut the same
as last year.
Mrs. Snidkins says her husband is a
three handed man, right hand, left hand
and little behindhand.
Its looks bad to see scissors-grinder
busily engaged in front OF newspaper
Office two days in a week.
The best way to encourage tramp is
to show him pile of cord wood and
other little ak Of kindness.
"1'he one thing needful for the perfect
enjoyment of love is confidence" Same
with hash and sausages.
A punster challenged 4 sick mans
vote at city's election, on the ground
that he was an ILLEGAL voter.
What's is a name ?-Get il on the back
of bill, says one who has had expert
ence, and you'll soon find out.
No boy can come upon a sign of keep
off the grass" without feeling a spirit OF
defiance clear down 10 his heels.
A boy recently hung himself because
somebody found fault with him. That
boy was not born to be country editor
Duties stares me in the face" said
the deacon when the custom house off
GERS caught him smuggling dozen pairs
) of gloves.
They went fishing. She looked Ian.
guidly at him and said II wish Iht
= fish would bit at your hook; if were
fish would"
+, The individual who called tight boot
comfortable defended his position by
saying they made man forget all hi
other miseries.
, A pugilistc Irishmen being bounC
, over to keep the peace to all British
, subjects, exclaimed Heaven help tn,
, first foreigner l meet |"
We are told "the evening wore on
! but we are never told what the evening
wore on that occasion. Was it the clos,
of summers day
We are told that Gen. S-was al
ways coolest when on the point of at.
tack" Most people are hottest when OF
! the point of tack.
A medical student says that he has
never been able to discover the bone o
contention and desires to know il it i
, not near the jaw BONE
! 81 am very much afraid If lightning,
: said pretty lady. And well you maj
be" said her lover, las your heart il
? made of steel"
s At a restaurant-"Tske away III,
e sauerkraut; there is hair in it |!
3 "Monsieur, you astonsh me. though
I | had picked them all out r
; If anything will impress the human
mind with awe, it is the expression o
the mans face who has just been aroused
from snoring IN church.
En- English clergyman thus des ribe,
, his chapel 1T is in the Ionic style
Over the portico is a tower; over that
cupola and on the top of all is a mort
. gage
: why, GeorRis," SAID girl to her lit
e tie brother, 1--WE just heard that yor
t were whipped at school lat week.
| had no idea of it till ma told me a few
5 minutes ago Hadn't you. responded
! George. And then he added with an ali
P Of pride, "Why, knew it all the time.
= -POrtland Advertiser.