Morning journal and courier., 1889-11-05

over backward expired. It was then we be
gan to realize the peril of our situation ane
scud for the house, dragging the rifls by th'
muzzle. The beast soon breathed his las
killed Deacon Smiths hotter. and had for g,
long been the terror of the country.
Uncle Jack had a con named Zeke who wa
his hope and pride. Being ths namesake o.
coed old preacher of the gospel, 10 was tht
great ambition Of his fond father to see hii
son preacher In his turn. So the matte,
was talked over and over again until 1t wa,
settled that Zeks should hold meeting al
his house. in just two weeks from that very
day, it being Sunday. Accordingly the ap-
pointment was given out and was received
with great astonishment.
At an early hour on the appointed day the
crowd began to gather, all intent on hearing
the new preacher.
Long before the hour Of appointment the
crowd had become so dense as to preclude all
idea of holding the meeting In the house, SO
1t was deemed expedient to adjourn to the
school house. As the locality was inaceessi-
but some came on horseback, and some
across the lake in boats. Old men and
young were there. Old ladies and matrons
came, attired in linssY-woolsey dresses, with
sleeves of nonstrous size stuffed with feath-
ers, their heads generally ornamented with
an article much resembling an old-fashioned
chaise top and called a calash, each carrying
q large calico bag containing lunch and a
hymn book. Urehias dressed In homespun
came with their mothers.
Pero, the house dog, with her half grown
family, appeared, and after making tour
of inspection throughout the premises
stretched herself at full length beneath one
of the benches.
The new preacher arraYed In his Sunday
BEST, with bandanna handkerchief drawn
closely about his head in imitation of his
predecessors and most of the clergy Of that
day, occupied the high desk, while his do
ting father sat close by his eide. The two
tythingmen with their slaves and badges of
Office affixed to their tall beavers, tripped up
and down each aisle, assisting new comers to
seats, and ever and anon bestowing upon
some mischievous urohin a scowl and an
eminous shake of the head.
Sam Pendergrass, who sat near the resting
place of Pero and her family, hit Ben Luff-
kins ely poke In the ribs. and pointing to
the long tail of the sleeping canine which
lay the floor near the toe of Ben's boot,
motioned him tsS step on 1t. Anticipations
of the scene which might follow We're too
much for the facetious Ben, who burst 1snto a
violent ft of laughter, Sam meantime pre-
serving the most profound gravity and star
Ing in we'll feignsd surprise at the rude con-
duct of his ehum. Ben was Immediately
set upon by One of the tythingmen, who
seized him by his long hair. and, dragging
hin to the door, administered several sound
cuffs, turned him about and booted MIN
back to his seat. Ben's wrath was kindled,
and in pushing into his seat as if by accident
he set his boot heel upon Pero's ear with all
his might.
Pero sounded her bugle loud and clear and
leaped among the crowd, the pups meantime
following suit. The babies all screamed
with fear, the boys clapped their hands.
Uncle Jack and the new preacher looked
daggers, while the tythipgmen snote the
ing silence.
Order being at last restored the opening
hymn was given out The hymn ended, the
preacher arose and named his text: 'Noah
built him an ark"
He then proceeded to recount the history
of Noah and his family, the building Of the
ark, the deluge, the subsiding of the waters,
&c., to all of which the audience listened
with the most profound attention.
He then with a strong nasal twang pro-
ceedcd to admonish his hearers that they
were all placed in this werld of sin and sor-
row to build them an ark to shield them
from the coming storm, and in language
which fairly astonished his hearers portrayed
the fatal consequences of neglect to do so.
Sly looks and winks were exchanged by
the knowing enes at the novelty Of Zske's
theology, but SO enrapt were both father and
son in the subject that these signs passed en-
tirsly unnoticed.
When the preacher ended he sat down,
wiped the sweat from bis brow, wound the
bandanna about his head, and in accordance
with long established custom, gave liberty
for remarks If any had word to offer.
An aged and most reverend man now
arose, leaning upon his oaken staff. His
long and neatly combed locks, white as
snow, hung in prefusion upon his STOPPING
shoulders. His strongly marked features
strong sense and aniable disposition.
The man was old Deacon Cobbett, who for
many years had dwelt in the place, father
in Israel in every sense of the word, and
loved and respected by all who knew him.
ST hope" spoke the deacon, "that the few
remarks am about to offer may cause no
offence, as none Is intended, but in my hum
BILE opinion Brother Ezekiel has made fatal
mistake. 1t isn't at all necessary to build an
ark. The ark is already built. Christ is
the ark. The door is open and we are all
cordially invited to enter"
At this junoture the face Of the preacher
became scarlet. Being impulsive and very
passionate, he now, on seeing his first ser
mon, which he had hoped to be prodigious
success. torn to pieces, gave full vent to his
violent temper. Shaking his clenched fist
In the deacoh's face, he exclaimed in tones Of
thunder: cold Cobbett, you lie!''
Most of the congregation, who had ever
held the aged patriarch in profound respect,
were ready to resent this insult and arose to
their feet, staring Zske into silence.
Not 50 with the father. The spirit of '76
was now fairly aroused. Striking his big
crooked cane at tho head of the offender, he
beloved: 'sThere, Cobbett, you've killed
Zeke and hurt the children's feelings. Zeke
shall prsach. He has right to preach here
on my land. Ny deed says forty acres, more
or less, bounded by stake and stone, com
meneing at a white birch stump at the corner
of Brother Josh's land and running thence
northwesterly to the lake. He has right to
preach and preach he shall on my land"
By this time the entire audience were con-
vulsed with laughter, and the meeting dis
persed by common consent without a bene-
diction.
Thus ended Zske's first and last attempt at
preaching.