Johnstown weekly Democrat. (Johnstown, Cambria County, Pa.) 1889-1916, 1889-08-16
THE ELIXIR OF LIFE-THE CREATES
OF ALL DISCOVERIES.

turning up or rather being turned up every
now and then. Astonishing as have been
the practical application of steam and
electricity hitherto. their possibilities as
agencies seem to be limitless. But these
and all other discoveries and inventions
must stand aside for the latest and most
astonishing in the worlds history.
Millions of money were spent, and years
of time and devoted during the 18th, 14th
and 10Th centuries by celebrated
alchemists to discover the elixir of life.
The signal failures of all their efforts,
caused the skeptical of the world from
that time down to this year, to denounce
all such attempts quite as foolish as the
efforts to discover perpetual motion.
Mocked at by the learned, ridiculed by
the ignorant, the enterprise was given up
for nearly three centuries.
But, now, comes the intelligence
that the discovery has at
last been made. The numer-
GUS experiments, in different parts of the
world, have been so successful within the
past few weeks, that incredulity has
given way to absolute belief. This won
derful discovery is called Brown-Sequard's
life elixir.
The discoverer is not a crank, but no
less parsonage than DR.. Brown-Sequard,
one of the most distinguished physicians
of the medical profession, standing as he
does at the head of the list of the emf
nently successful French practitioners
and is fully backed up by DIR. Hammond,
one of New York's noted scientists. The
elixir is compounded of animal matter
the testes of Guinea pigs and rabbits, dis
solved and mashed in distilled water and
then filtered. The mode of administering
it is by hypodermic injection. In every
case so far reported, the effects have been
of the most astonishing nature, imparting
strengthening and rejuvenating powers to
the aged and infrm. While acting as
stimulant, in some respects, unlike all
known stimulants its effects have up to the
present, not been temporary but lasting.
A popularity about it which seems mex
picable, is that only men are benefited by
it, which causes leading Medical journal,
that favors the discovery, to say, 1T is
lamentable fact that it can only be ap-
piled to men, enabling old men to become
young, and leaving women to carry their
weight of years."
Gne of Pittsburgh's best known physi-
clans has successfully used it in the case
of some old and decrepid men. He says,
$50 far everything has gone smoothly
the eeffects having all been equally remark
able. The whole body in each case
seemed reiuvenated." Another eminent
medical man being asked what he thought
of the theory, SAID, "There may be some
thing in it. Nothing now seems impossi-
BILE to medical science, when viewed in the
light OF the late almost miraculous discov-
cries. 1t lis now possible for an expert chem
ist to invent drugs to produce the desired
effect. Then, when the idea emanates
from man like DIR. Brown-Sequard,
there must be reason in it. For thirty
five years he has been the highest author
ity On biology, physiology CT the brain,
and the laws of life"
We have thus given the main facts
about its discovery, its component parts,
its effect, and the general favor with
which It is regarded by distinguished
medical men, Now, let us look at some
things that must naturally and necessarily
follow. We almost hesitate to do it, as
the facts will be anything but welcome to
the better half of the human race, and to
several highly remunerative callings and
professions, But facts are facts, and must
sooner or later be faced.
The lrst ugly thing confronting us is,
the undue preponderance it will exert in
favor of the greater supremacy of the
male sex-imparting youth, vigor, beauty
TO played-out decayed, withered, dry
ed-up old co6gcr, and leaving nice old
ladies' the subjects of wrinkles, rheuma-
tism and general infirmities, The thought
is too intolersble to be borne Think of
it! When " the sixth age shifts into the
leaa and slippered pantaloon, with spec
taeles on nose, and pouch on side, his
youthful hose well saved,a world too wide
for his shrunk shank, and his big, manly
voice turning again into childish treble,
pipes and whistles in his sound think
of rejuvevating such an old stager back
into the character of lover, signing
like furnace, with a woful ballad made
to his mistress eye brow" and his old
wife growing older and older. No, no,
Mr.. Brown-Sequard, we don't want any
of your elixir in ours. Throw such
physic to the dogs. 1t is too Frenchy for
us,
Again, what would become of cur
churches The proportion of men at
tending them is now small enough in all
conscience-o to about five women, and
in point of sincerity of profession, about
one to twenty. But with new lease of
life the number of men would soon be so