The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1889-08-29
THE LIMEKILN CLUB.
President Gardner Formally Expsls Brud-
der j. X. CanifE

President Gardner Formally Expels Brud-
der j. x. CaniR.
"Ar' Brudder ]. x. Caniff in de hall
tonight" blandly inquired the Presi.
dent as the meeting opened with the
mercury in the thermometer touching
the figures SO.
''Yes sah," was the pro mpt reply OF
Brother Caniff as he rose up.
''Step dis way. please. Z want t.
hev few words of conversashun wild
you. How long since you jined to dis
clubP'
Two Vars, sah.''
Exactly. Bout three weeks arter
you jined called at your house an
warned you to quit loafn' around sa-
looms"
"Y-yes, sah."
"a leetle later had to warn ye dat
ye mus pay yer debts.
''Yes."
"Still furder on I was fo'ced to tell
ye dat you didn't own de airth, as you
seemed to believe, an dat if you didn't
get down to work you'd h'ar sunthin
drap."
"Yes."
"'Bout every two months rze had to
talk wild you on dis matter or on dat,
an Pze finally got tired of it. Two
weeks ago you went home drunk an
broke de stove wild an axe I tole ye
mex day dat de climax wasn't fur off,
an now she's heah. You were drunk
agin las mite"
''Pze sorry. sah."
''It ar too late. I reckon Cain was
sorry arter he killed Abel, but bein'
sorry didn' help de case any. Brother
Caniff, your name has been erased
from our books as a member, an you
kin take your hat an depart. You ar
no longer a member of dis club.
Brother Caniff stood like one stunned
for moment, and then sank down in
heap on the floor. The committee on
cold storage were quietly ordered to
remove the remains, and when Canitf
recovered his senses he was lying on
pile of tin-scraps in the alley, with a
cold wave from Lake Huron stealing
up his spinal column.
AN OWNER WANTED.
1t has been year and a half since
the last attempt was made to destroy
Paradise Hall, and the janitor had
passed from a state Of mental anxiety
to serene repose, when he was rudely
awakened Friday afternoon by the
discovery that human hyenas were
again on the trail. Sometime between
Wednesday and Friday access was
gained to the hall by means of the
sky-light in the roof, and probably by
two or more fends in human form.
Their great object was to destroy the
records and the museum; but as they
passed down the hallway and turned
to the right they encountered bear.
trap No 1. Its jaws were wide open
and hungry. The villain in the lead
must have fairly stepped into it. and
he had the closest call of his life. As
the jaws started to close he made a
spring, and SO close was his escape that
he left one of his boot-heels between
the jagged teeth. The incident no
doubt frightened the villains away at
once, as nothing was disturbed.
''Dis club will offer reward of fifty
dollars fur de arrest of de pusson who
left dat heel behind" said Brother
(1aPdnnP ttaDi If ha - oa1Ubf 1ra mill
do our best to make him feel sorrowful
fur de nex' ten Vars of his life. I hev
ordered mo- b 'ar-traps. an by to-mor-
rer noon dar will be o'teen of EN-
guardin' dis hall. Fur de safety of
sich members as desiah to visit de
library, map will be issued, wild de
locashun of ebery trap indicated by
black and blue spot. Detroit Free
Press.