davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05

The wife of wit has often as hard time
as the wife of a philosopher 1t is an old
story about the wife of Emerson enduring
the sight of her husband breaking the teeth
out of her back comb, thinking, absent mind
eddy, that they were matches which he was
presently to light; but it is quite a new story
that of famous modern humorist who
really gets great many of his best and fun
NEST ideas from his wife.
"We live from mouth to hand, instead OF
from hand to mouth" said he, in telling the
story 'Her mouth utters the words of nom
sense, and my hand writes them down.
Sometimes she rebels at my receiving the
checks in payment of her jokes, though l
promptly turn most of them over to her, and
she wouldn't sign her own name to one of the
jokes for a farm.
"Well one time I was going on little
southern trip, and she took notion she
wanted to go along. We had just been pay
ing for new carriage house, and there
wasn't enough ready money in the family ex-
chequer to take us both.
"If you go, shall have to stay at home,'
said l, trying to reason with her.
"'No, no. said she. III make jokes
enough to pay all our current expenses I'll
get up early every morning, and joke just as
hard as can for fifteen or twenty minutes
before breakfast n-Y outh's Companion.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05
Remedy for Headache.

When in certain painful affections tn.
physician advises the use of cold applica
tons, and if the effect from them is moi
pleasing, then that hot should be tried, the
patient is likely to consider it rather an IN.
certain sort of treatment, of doubtful valu.
either way. 1t is, indeed, rather curiou:
thing that heat and cold can often be useo
INTERCHANGEABLE with like effects. Extreme
heat will destroy the skin, and extreme cole
will do the same. Now, headache is some
times relieved by hot applications, and yet
in some instances it aggravates the trouble.
In case of the latter, oftentimes the cold ap
plications will effect a cure. AS a general
rule a throbbing headache, with tenderness.
and soreness of the scalp, can best be re
ieved by hot applications. Whereas, where
the head feels full and bursting if cold be
applied to the head and heat to the neck an6
spine, the effect is most agreeable. Probably
one of the best external applications which
is most serviceable in the different forms OF
headache is nlenthol. A solution of thai
should be made in about the proportion OF
one drachm of menthol to ten of alcohol
1t can be applied on thin strip of cloth
large enough to cover the forehead Thai
should be kept wet with the solution. 1t j.
very cooling, and the effect in many cases OF
headache is very agreeable from the first
Roston Herald
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05
Desert of Sahara.

The Sahara az q whole is not below sea
level; it is not the dry bed of a recent ocean,
and it is not as fiat as the proverbial pancake
all over. Part of it, indeed, is very noun
famous, and all of it is more or less varied in
level. The upper Sahara consists of rocky
plateau rising at times into considerable
peaks; the lower, to which it descends by q
steep slope, is "a vast depression of clay and
sand," but still for the most part standing
high above sea level No portion of the up
per Sahara is less than /, 300 feet high-a good
deal higher than Dartmoor or Derbyshire.
Most of the lower reaches from 200 to 800
feet-quite as elevated as Essex or Leicester
The two spots below sea level consist of the
beds of ancient lakes, now much shrunk by
evaporation, owing to the rainless condition
of the country; the soil around these is deep
in gypsum, and the water itself is considera-
bly, salter than the sea. That, however is
always the case with fresh water lakes in
their last dotage, as American biologists
have amply proved, in the case of the great
Salt lake of Utah. Moving sand undoubtedly
covers a large space in both divisions of the
desert, but according to Sir Lambert Play
fair, our best modern authority on the SUBJ
ject, it occupies not more than one-third part
of the entire Algerian Sahara. Elsewhere
rock, clay and muddy lake are the prevail
ing features, interspersed with not infrequent
date groves and villages, the product of ar
tesian wells, or excavated spaces, or river
GASES. Even Sahara, in short, to give it its
due, is not by any means so black as it's
painted.-Cornhill Magazine.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05
The Nations Wards.

The Indian reservations in 1886 in the
United States amounted to 212,466 square
miles, all that is left to the race of $3.50, 900
square miles, once all their own. The total
Indian population of the United States is
247, 7G1. Estimated number of Indians in
Alaska is 10000. The Indian agencies are
81 in number. Number of Indian church
members in the United States is 2S,663
Number of houses occupied by Indians is
2l,232 Number of Indians living on and
cultivating lands is s,6l2. Number of In
dams in the United States who wear CHI
zen's dress is S1,621. Number of Indians in
the United States who cain read Indian Ian
guages is lo,oa7. Number of Indians in the
United States who can read English is but
%, 495. There are 10 Indian training schools
located i'll different parts of the Union. Ely
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05
Wanted Twenty-four Apostles.

Stories almost without end have been told
on John Stetson, the well known theatrical
manager, and hundreds of them have been
printed, but here is one old enough to be
chestnut, but so far as learned has never been
III print. The incident occurred away back
when the attempt was made in New York to
produce the Passion" play, and Stetson was
managing it. This gentleman's ignorance
and coarseness have been the subject of moro
than four-fifths of the yarns told ON him, but
all have had to admit that his eye for artistic
effect in setting stage is nearly perfect. At
fairs in connection with the play had reached
a point where dress rehearsal was arranged.
Mr.. Stetson and the stage manager were
seated in the parquet to observe the scene.
On the left of the stage was Pontius Plate
and Jesus Christ; back of them, but still on the
left, was large rabble; on the right had been
placed the twelve apostles. At the first
glance Stetson began to kick. why" he
yelled angrily, that stage amt set right; it's
all out of balance" SWELL" said the stage
manager meekly, sit is the best we could do
with the people we have" "What's that
gang there over to the right?" asked Stetson.
"That," replied the assistant, ''why, those
are the twelve apostles" swell, get twenty
four of 'em then; we must have that corner
filled up somehow. Chicago Herald.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05
ORGANIZED 1892.
Epoch.

The transition from long, lingering and painful
sickness to robust health marks an epoch in the
life of the individual Such a remarkable event
is treasured in the memory and the agency
whereby the good health has been attained is
gratefully blessed. Hence it is that so much is
heard in praise of Electric Bitters So many feel
they owe their restoration to health, to the use
of the Great Alternative and Tonic. If you are
troubled with any disease of Kidneys, Liver or
Stomach, of long or short standing you will sure
ly find relief by use of Electric Bitters Sold at
soc. and 81 per bottle at Hughes & Bells
Drugstore. febS 1t
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05
THE OLD HOUSE.
In through the porch and up the silent stair

In through the porch and up the silent stair;
Little is changed, know SO well the ways:
Here, the dead came to meet me; it was there
The dream was dreamed in unforgotten days.
But who is this that hurries on before,
A fitting shade the brooding shades among?
She turned-I saw her face-O God! it wore
The face used to wear when was youngi
l thought my spirit and my heart were tanned
To deadness-dead to pangs that agonize.
The old grief springs to choke mel am ashamed
Before that little ghost with eager eyes.
Oh, turn away let her not see, not knowl
How should she bearit how should understand!
OH hasten down the stairway haste and go,
And leaVn. her dreaming in the silent land.
Amy Levy in The Pittsburg Despatch
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05
Thelr Rusiness Roominp.

Probably no one thing has caused such gen
eral revival of trade at Hughes & Robinson
Drug Store their giving away to their custom
ers of so many free trial bottles of DR.. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption. Their trade is
simply enormous in this very valuable article
from the fact that it always cures and never dis
appoints. Coughs, Colds, Asthma, Bronchitis
Group, and all throat and lung diseases quickly
cured. You can test it before buying by getting
a trial bottle free, large size ST. Every bottle
warranted. febS If
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05
The Moon.

Those whoh to planting in special phases
of the moon and shearing of sheep in the in
crease of the moon will be interested to know
that such notions are general among semi
barbarous people, A recent writer gives,
among other rules from the south Slavs, the
following: Cucumhers must be grown three
NIGHTS in noonshine. Trees for house timber
must be felled in the full of the moon, or
some one Of the family will soon die Sleeps
wool is longest and most durable cut in the
increase of the moon The same is true Of
swine, that they are fattest killed in the wax
ing of the moon. There are also the same or
similar notions about wet moons and dry
Glolao- QarnncraG
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05
Bucklen'S Arnica SaIve.

The best salve in the world for Cuts, Bruises
Sores, Ulcers Salt Rheum, Fever Sores, letter
Chapped Hands, Chilblain, Corns, and all Skin
Eruptions, and positively cures Piles OF no pay
required 1t is guaranteed to give perfect salts
faction, or money refunded. Price 25 cents per
box. For sale by Hughes & Bell, Drug
lists JAMS 1y
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05
Such Is Fame.

Francis Wilson, the comedian, says that
fame is a fugitive and altogether an unsatis-
factory thing after all. He was in Paris with
Alfred Candy, his manager, and one after
noon they strolled along the Avenue de
rOpera looking at the shop windows. In an
art store they discovered large collection
of photographs of celebrities from all over
the world. This claimed their attention for
some time. At length Wilson started in sur
prise and directed Canby's attention to the
photograph of a young girl Don't you
recognize that faces' he asked. "Why, that's
a New York photo of my daughter Frances"
And SO it was. Wilson had always been
sure that his daughter was a beautiful child,
but he did not think that she was so striking
ly handsome that her photographs would find
purchasers in Paris. Candy suggested that
they interview the shop keeper and see if he
knew who the original was So they entered
the shop and put the question to the French
man The shop keeper knew, of course
'Oh, CERTAINLY" he said. "Zat is re daugh-
tairo of ze famous American, Bob mger-
soil New York Star
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05
Semi-Centennial Honey.

:,
A remarkable discovery has been made at
the Cathays yard of the Taft Vale Railway
company. A large elm tree, grown in
Gloucestershire, was being cut up into tim
Der, when, right IN the very heart, cavity
measuring feet by ~ inches In diameter
was discovered, almost completely filled with
the comb of the honey bee' together with
squirrels skull.
No means OF access to the hollow was dis
cOVoraDle. neither was decay anywhere
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05

The reason why a woman is afraid Of q
mouse is profound mystery-indeed, it has
never been very closely proven that. she is.
But some women are constantly in such a
nervous irritable condition that the slightest
thing annoys and startles them. The cause of
this unfortunate state of affairs is usually
some functional arrangement; some distress
ing or painful irregularity, some derange-
ment or peculiar weakness incident to her
sex: or, it may be due to Inflammation, I'LL
ceration or displacement, of some Of the
pelvic viscera, or to other organic LESSONS
peculiar to her sex. From whichever cause
it may arise, DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip-
ton is positive remedy, SO certain in it's
curative results that its manufacturers sell
it. through druggists, under a guarantee of
its giving satisfaction in every case, or
money, paid for it will be promptly re-
nervine, "Favorite Prescription is une-
qualed and is invaluable in allaying and sub
DUNG nervous excitability, irritability, ex-
haustion. prostration hysteria, spasns and
other distressing, nervous symptoms COM
monty attendant upon functional and organic
disease of the womb. 1t induces refreshing
sleep and relieves mental anxiety and de-
spondency.
Copyright, 1888. by WORLDS DIS. MED. ASSN
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05

mr. ROBERTSON, us n. Liberty ST.. Baltimore
- Md the oldest reliable Specialist Irregular
graduate) in BALTIC, with . years experience in
hospital and special practice, guarantees a cure
without mercury or caustIcl i'll all acute and
chronic diseases of the URINARY ORGANS, Ner-
vous and Organic Weakness, Structures, &C. Ure-
thral diseases recently contracted positively cured
in to days. All consulta tons strictly confidens
tial Special treatment for Ladies' Medicine
sent to any address. Write, incosng stamp for
IepIy APP o-ly
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1889-07-05

Paris counts at present no less than sixteen
female doctors. ---.------s-a
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20
A WORD OF WARNING.
MEN AND WOMEN.

WEBB DIR. W. Seward Webb's yacht
the E.frida, is so big that she has to De
stripped of half her rigging and all OF heT
furnishings to get her through the canals
on the wsy TO Lake Champlain. She 6
built so that che could be taken apart
when necessary.
GILMAN. Bernard Gilman. the carica-
turist of Judge, is 81 years old. He tried
to make living by painting pictures, but
the public would not buy them. Then he
smashed his pictures and turned wood en-
graver until ne discovered that he could
draw caricatures.
SPINNER. General Francis f. Spinner,
ex-Uuited States Treasurer, who Is suffer
ing from a cancer en- mis- face, at his cot
tage at Pablo Beach, Fla, is rapidly grow
ing worse, and his death is but question
Of a few weeks. He celebrated his S7th
birthday last January.
SHERMAN. - Senator Sherman has a
finsly-stocked library of standard books,
but he practices the theory of Gladstone,
Never read a book till il is year Old"
lie buys all valuable and rare books on
finance, and informs himself Of their con-
tents. BE knows the history Of prices,
and has a theory of his own about what
creates values.
HANlLIN.-The venerable ex.Vice Presi-
dent, Hannibal Hamlin, is enjoying life in
his quiet way at his cog home in Bangor.
He has big garden, in which he delights
to work, aud his orchard and flower pots
are the pride snd JOY of Fifth street. Al.
though Mr.. Hamlin is 81 years of age, be
is still able to walk ten or fifteen miles 8
day without much fatigue, and makes fire.
quent trips TO his old home at Paris Hill
Oxford County.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20
BRIDGEPORT.
\ Tale From the County seat-A Few
Lines About People You Know.


Lines About People You Know.
A strange story comes from the gcod
town Of st. Clairsville, which is now the
only prohibition town in Belmont county,
One day last week a dry goods box fell
from an express wagon and burst open II
the middle of the street. The beer key
which the box contained, was uniujured
Mr. w. A. McMechen, of st. Clsirsville
was in town short time yesterday. HI
denies the printed IumOr that be is inter
ested in the late purchase of the st. Glars
Vile Gazette by company headed by
David IL. Milligan.
Miss Efie Thompson gave a delightful,
party at st. Clairsville on Saturday even.
ing in honor OF Miss Nellie Topping, who
has been her guest for several days.
Rev. Mr.. Smith, formerly pastor of thu
NJ. f. Church, arrived over the c. q P
last evening.
J. NJ. Linn, of Morristown, was looking
after Eis business interests here yesterday
Miss Hawthorne, OF Portland, is thu
guest of the Misses Mitchell.
Misses Mary and Kate Jenkins sre visit
ing friends in town.
Miss Hannah Smith is at Lake Chip
pews.
Council meets tonight.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20
why There Was Silence.

Naef t..sft-s A .e-.'' ---.-
The eloquent silence of the Ohio Repub-
lican platform this year on the subject Ct
Civil Service reform, after the emphatic
dsclsrations Of previous years in favor OF
that reform, is attracting attention and
provoking comment. Republican papers
outside Of the State sre trying to find ex-
cuses for it. They deny that the Republi-
cans Of this State are no longer retormers.
1t was unnecessary, they say, that spe-
cfc plank on the subject should be IN the
pla,form when the Endorsement of all the
declarations Of the national platform fully
covered the matter. The platform was
closely scrutinizad, when reported, for an
expression concerning the law, and its 81
lence Vas hailed by the anti Civil Service
rsformers as victory almost rs great as
an expression Of condemnation. Thsse are
the solemn facts.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20
DIED.

ZIMMERMAN-MOnd August l9,h, 1889 a
II O'Clock m, DAVID c. ZIMMERMAN. aged 6,
years.
Funeral from his late residence No. 2s South
Broadway, Wednesday afternoon at > O'Clock
Friends of family invited to attend. Intermen
at Peninsula cemetery.
REMP-At Washington, Pa, on Monday, Au
gust 70, 1889, at 1910 O'clock a m. GRACE MAN
ARvEY. daughter of Richard and Maggie Kemp
aged - months.
Asleep in Jesus, Blessed sleep,
From which none ever wakes 10 weep;
A calm, undisturbed repoSe
Unbroken by the last Of foes,
Asleep In Jesus o, how sweet
To be for such slumber meet.
With holy confidence to sing
That death hath lost his venomed sting
Funeral nom the residence Of Vim. Heller, 72l
Market street. this Tuesday afternoon at
O'Clock. Friends Of the family are invited &c
attend. Interment at Mt. Zion cemetery.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20

do ANY professed church members buy
and read these Sunday papers," ssks Dr.
CUYLEB 10 the Evangelist They adYer-
tise in them, buy them. read them and en-
ioy them. The question is easily answer
ed Most assuredly they do; in fact tee
church people OF the country support the
Sunday papers very literally.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20

STOP THE ELIXIR NONSENSE.
Iu's it about time that the half-sdu-
cafes quscks all over the country quit
monkeying with Dr.. BRowN-SEQUARD'
alleged elixir o, hie2
When the discovery was first an
nounced, says the New York World, emf
nent pathologists warned the public
through the World tina. there could be nc
such vistue in the thing SO its dOtiDg in
ventor imagined, and it's use involved very
great danger not only of incubation with
the germs Of tuberculosis and other intec
tious diseases but also Of septiccmia in It's
most dangerous forms
That warning al physicians ought to
have needed, leaving it to properly quail
fed And properly equipped patholOgists to
make whatever experiments might be
necessary for the determination Of the
question Of value, in full assurance that If
the discovery were really Of moment 1t
would be given to tae profession in a safe
form as soon as the conditions Of its use
should be clearly made out.
There was all the more reason for prsc-
ticing patience and reserve because every
educated physician knows that st best this
preparation can do no more than produce
temporary stimulation, thing much more
safely snd easily managed with glass Of
brandy.
Bat in spite of all warnings, every half
educated qusck in the country, constituting
his diploma to be license to tribe with
humau health and life, is recklessly using
his squirt-gun, and the harvest OF disease
ard death which was to be expected is
being garnered. The nonsense should be
stopped.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20
AL ArplIed 70 wanamaher.

General Wanamaker publicly defends
the use Of money IN elections, and IS at the
same time working TO ourtail Sunday SER
vice in delivering the mails. James Par
toms remark that "we are being governed
by a set Of Sunday school idiots was more
forcihe than elegant
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20

TIE criminal ecord in West Virginia IN
the past few months has been appalling
Arson and theft, if not geayer offences,
have been almost daily events. The IN
crease is due, in a large measure, to the IN
lux Of new population, bat this does not
account for ALL A few stern doses OF
the Law are needed in some localities.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20

A BERLIN professor says that constant
piano practice will ruin the health Of any
girl The girl however, can probably
stand it better than her neighbOrs.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20

in WAS telegraphsd from this city
that "a saloon, near the Opera House, ~
bad been robbed, Sunday morning, Of
several hundred dollars worth of goods" ~
Tae story is false. 1t was also said from
thee TO nine citizens night" are robbed.
This slft Of stuG IS OF the same
piece with the story about the police
fighting 5000 people, in North Wheel
ing on the Fourth Of July, the 1000
people watching two girls, one armed with
"a Ratchet and the other with knife,
fighting, in alley C. until weak from loss
OF blood, the $40, 600 loss fcom incendAry
fires, a weel, or so ago, and several other
romauces Of recent date. This sort Of
news" is hardly what people want, snd
Tie sooner it is stopped the better it viii
DE fcr the reputation of Wheeling.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20

TIRE railroad mp the Guyaudotte Valley
was not killed by Cabeu county's adverse
vote, it seems. 1t is announced that the
road viii be built, and that soon. Score
another victory for push, pluck and enter
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20

HOLD on TO your sparklers. Reports
from the diamond mprkeis are that cor
ner in the gems has been effected and
prices are rapidly advancing. The mine
owners are holding for rise, "the visible
supply in the European gem market Is
becoming smaller by heavy purchases 90
account Of the ROTHsCHILDs and other
people who have spare millions to invest
ia valuable stones, snd although there "a
20 scarcity Of diamonds in the United
States at present the effects OF the corner
must soon be felt here.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20

The Huntington Commercial ssys; III
winbealucky day for Huntington when the
Central Lind Company e. that place gives
way 10 people Of more LIBERAL ideas and
broader views. les policy has been dead
weight on ire city, and an impeachment to
Improvements. huntington Is in the same
plight with Wheeling, and dozens Of other
West Virginia towns, in this matter. Too
many old fossils with their dog IN the
maueer policy will kill any place. Their
penny is larger than their neighbours dol
Tar. They encourage no enterprise, be-
cause some one else may profit by 1T
T0ers is not enough rich blood in then
veins to make midnight lunch for
mosquito West Virginia has more fthes'
nen than she has any possible use for.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20

TNoR sALE-sET OF OAK BEDROOM FUR
\ niture. Walnut bureau and beadstead, also
Fire. proof safe and office furniture. Enquire at
22iO Chapline street. anl9h
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1889-08-20

ToR PENTHOUSE CONTAINING FOUR
T. rooms; natural and illuminating gas and
water in the house. For particulars enquire at
No 53S Market street. auloe&dh