The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-04-17
BRIGHT BITS.

SICK MANS this the West End Sanitarium?
New girl qnystihed)-This is DR.. Blanks
Yes but doesn't he take sick people to nurse
'.Ol May be he does There's two or three
skeletons I'M The back office. "-Philddelphia
Ledger 80
''ASD NOW. curLDREN,'' said the superinten-
dent, benignantiy, are there any questions
you would like to ask before we leave this
leBSOn2n y
"How long did it take you to get all the pigs
Ia the pen the first time you tried?" inquired
the sweet little girl on The front seal.---Chfcago
Tribune.
BELINDA-How can Lucille marry that old
fossil, Closefist. What if he is rich!
Amanda Do you know that he has heart dis
fatal.
Belinda-Ah. indeed?
Amanda-Yes, and Lucille thinks that she
Will be able TO shock him.-AmerlcI.
farmers WIFE-Wen, Joshua did You get
things fixed 10 turn our house into a summer
an health resort?
Farmer-Im afraid the plan won't work
Miranda | went to Saratogy and two or three
places, an found out we can't have no health
resort without Spiliu' our well water SO the
cattle cau't drink it. Philadelphia Record,
''SHALL we go to the 700 to-day, papa?"
~ OF to-day, my sonl"
But they have just received 6 kangaroo from
Australia -
That's no draw, my child. Let us stand
here on this corner and observe those females
who have crowded their No. 5 feet into No. 3
shoes. and we shall get the kangaroo business
free gratis Detroit nee Press.
Nor TO BE COMPARED WITH CHIEF OF 400
Ward McAllister-Who is this Arson that the
NEWSPAPERS are yelling about? Where does he
come FROM
Citizen-Have you never heard of Capt Anson
the leader of the great Chicago nine?
Ward Nc A1lister with lofty contempt)-Nine,
dld you sayg Only nine? What absurd folly to
make hero of such man!-C3ticago Tribune
A MILWAUKEE DoCToR-one of the kind that
dares not to use the initials VI. D. in connection
with his name-thiS doctor recently invaded
Barkers book store in this city and made numer
GUS. purchases, The books were carefully
packed and sent by express to the doctors ad-
dress iu Sluwaukee, According to the custom
of the trade the package was superseded:
"Books-keep dry" few days ago the Mil
waukee doctor made his appearance again and
stalked into Barkers store quiveripg, with rage
Don't you folks know better" he demanded,
than to send package labeled books TO a
doctorS Why, If that sort Of thing is Kept up
people would think that didn't know anything
about my business and had to buy books to find
out about it !''-Chicaqo Nelcs.
THE Boy AND THE Rata Boy who had
caught Rat in a Trap was about to Dispatch
it by Drowning when the Rodent began Bewail-
ing his sad Fate and pathetically inquired:
Lave | ever Injured you that you seek my
Life?"
Never was the reply.
'Woud you be the Loser by restoring me to
Libertyy'
Not at all
Then why not turn me loose? You seem to
feel for me-"
I That's exactly the trouble, replied the boy
Father has been scattering Poison all over the
cellar, and I'm afraid you will get some of it
and Die Lingering Death. I'm doing the
Mercy Act by Drowning you"
Moral-When a Citizen who "hasn't done
nothing at alln is run in by the Police, it saves
him from committing Burglary or Murder
Detroit Free Press.