The Portland daily press., 1889-03-06
WIT AND WISDOM.

Inc Ioilowlng are some more definitions given
by children, taken from Miss lie Rows "English
as She is Taught"
Stability is the taking care Of stable.
A mosquito is the child of white and black pa
rents.
Obeilsk. one OF the marks OF punctuation
lronical something very hard
Monastery place for monsters.
Iocsin something to do with getting drunk.
a pnenlx is one who Sits ashes.
seniilaton IS letting In contaminated air.
rehearsal Is what they have at funeral.
An ineeDdiary IS when you 60 round preaching
and singing hymns. ttf 800
Expostulation is to have the small pox.
A tnrbot is a kind Of rhetorical style
Inc boy was cursory when he ran to catch the
critic Is something to put your feet onto.
Cannibal is two brothers that killed themselves
In the Bible.
Deservedy popular. We mean Dr. Bulls
Cough Syrup, for it never fails to cure cough,
Only 20 cents.
Don't take iti-If dealer offers you a bottle Of
salvation OIL without labels, or wrappers insist
upon getting perfect, un6roken package rs cts
An Heroic Medicine:
Ola Mrs. Benty-Did ye hear how Deacon
Brown is gittin on?
Old MIR. Bently-I heerd he took relapse this
m0rnn' $3.50
Old Mrs. Bently with sigh)--weIl hope mn
them new-fangled medicines.
When Baby sick we gave her castoria,
When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss. she chung to castoria,
When she had Children. she gave them castoris
Carboy lat dinner)-whe is that little. insignih-
nant, unintellectual-
Pompano- Do hushi That Twadde, celebrated
wit and after-dnner talker. Listen: he's going to
tell one of his inimitable stories.
Twaddel-I remember when was in Paris
srgbseb hal met p1 Sere a 5eaf we dea
rimentl. Gordon" said /, 'syou remind me of
sheep lyells of delight" shall never forget the
expression on his face as he replied "Bah!" Jap
plause and qproarious laughter.
Carboy to Pompane-Wheres the joke?
Pompano-I don't know; but beg Of you don't
u. H. Smith in Editors Drawer of Harpers
Magazine.
A woman who is weak, nervous and
sleepess, and who has cold hands and feet can
not feel and act like wen person. Carter's Iron
Pills equalize the circulation, remove nervous
ness and give strength and rest.
A Pretty Picture
Mrs. Rural Rmde, in the clty-Look at that
sweet little girl. Did you ever see anything more
angelic?
sns n az
met with outside the large cities.
mans wife should always be the
same, especially to her husband, but II she is
weak and nervous, and uses Carter's Iron Pills,
sne cannot be, for they make her feel like
different person." so they all say, and their hus-
bands say so tool
Epitaphs from an old cemetery in Massachu-
sets:
''If the love and esteem of Relatives and Friends
could have saved him he would not have died."
Reader, stop still and spend tear,
Think on the dust that slumbers here,
And when you read the fate of me,
Think on the glass that runs for thee"
How can chuse but weep, must,
Since my 3rd wife Is with those list;
o God be pleased to comfort me,
And all my grief and sorrow see.
Well make me live whilst here be,
At death receive me up TO Thee,
Where celestial songs may sing
With them, to Christ, our Heavenly King"
Get well and stay well. But no w shall we do it
Listen my friend, and the secret I'll TELL
Though, for that matter, there's no secret to it,
AS many a man understands very well.
If you're low-sprited, gloomy depressed.
II nothing tastes good and your nights bring no
rest,
If your stomach is foul and your mouth seems
much fouler,
And SO cross you become that they call you a
"growler,"
Be sure that the trouble is due to your liver
And the blood is as sluggish as sometimes a river
Becomes when it's filled with all manner of staff.
Clear it out and the current runs smoothly enough
Go to the drug store and get bottle of DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, the great
blood-purifer and liver inyigorator. 1t is a sure
cure for the low spirits and general depression
man feels when his liver is inactive and his blood
impure. This remedy makes man well.