The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1889-03-05
.FREEHOLDERS SMITH PRO-
TESTS.


Nllcll YOU IIO NOuAScll ctDOob W tbtAC
your leave of the lady, you quite un-
awares feel her hand IN yours. A yield
ing shudder crosses her, and, you know
not how, she is in your arms, and you
press ON her lips, delayed but not with
held
ga long, long.kiss, a kiss of youth and love"
In Hoboken there is less propriety
and more impulse than in Jersey City.
The maidens of that town conceal
their affection until it becomes SO
great that when they throw it at you
matrimony must follow or they pine
awav with m~elancholia.
The West Hoboken girls have pretty
mouths, but their kissing reminds
YOU Of a canary picking seeds. There
is no soul whatever in their oscula-
tion-at least before marriage.
The Secaucus girl is not much for
style. nor ~formality. She has a large
mouth, pouting red lips and lat
cheeks, made rosy by a steady and I'M
ceasing application to frankfurters
and saNerkraut. She is q cyclone IN
the art. Judge Paxton lived within
ten minutes walk OF Secaucus for
twenty years, and in a conversation
he told me that the happiest hours of
his life were spent there.
h. Union Hill girl never kisses unless
she loves. You can almost feel the
palpitation OF her heart in her lips. IN
a work before me by DIR. DE Croft there
is a long dissertation on the osculatory
peculiarities of the Union Hill girl, but
its length will not permit me to quote
it.
The editor Of the Jersey City Herald
was right when he stated that gluten
berg was my favorite place to sport
with Amaryllis in the shade" The
maidens of that delightful town'kiss
with a love that is intense, pure, and
utterly devoid Of selfishness. If at
times a thought of self do her
devotion. it is but a slight tinge OF
vanity, so graceful as to lose every al
Low of lttleness that attaches to her
feeling. And he-what of him? His
bliss is speeches., but a. soon as he
finds words, he says as Othello did in a
similar moment:
'If l were to die,
'Twere now to be most happy, for fear
Ny soul hath her content so absolute,
That not another comfort like to this
Succeeds in unknown fate
OF the kiss coniugal | know nothing,
as I am a bachelor. The kiss friendly
is graceful and popular among girls.
Among men we cannot endure 1t.
Great rough-bearded carries slavering
each other is enough to turn ones
stomach.
have therefore given the principal
species Of kisses, all the rest being
mere varieties OF them. A practical
treatise on kissing would lead me
into a wide field of discussion; but L
regard this letter as standing in the
same relation to such a dissertation as
Euclid's Elements to a course of physi-
cal and mechanical science. Among
the most important sources OF lnfor-
nation to which l would refer YOU to
are Anacreon, Sappho and Longas
among the ancients; the Sacontala,
among the Orientals, and the dialogue
between Orlando and Rosalind, to-
gether with that between Falstaff and
Dali Tearsheet in SHAKESPEARE. And
among the moderns much information
may be cleaned by reading the poems
of "Abrowank,n perusing the love let
tiers of "Baby Bunting,n or spending a
eas with the Hillside Boat Club.
In conclusion, let me say to those who
have remarked that [ make no mem
ton of the Weehawken girls, that the
reason is because in that town they
know neither the practice nor a name
for it. And the cause for my emitting
Bayonne is that in the extreme south
ern portion of the county the various
kinds of kissing have as many dis
tinctive designations as the various
kinds of epicures in French. Yours
truly, ADAM y. SMITH,
395 GerInania avenue, Jersey City.
ALL JERSEY CITY GIRLS KISS.
Miss-but it would not do to write her
n-ame-writes as follows;
Editor Jersey City NeaoS:
Your little editorial of last evening
on Freebooter Smiths kissing verses
earns you the thanks Of the whole
community of Jersey City's kissing
girls-that is, of all the girls in Jersey
City, for you may be sure they all kiss
when they get the right kind OF a
subject. His verse description of the
Jersey City habit of kissing as pub
lished III THE NEWS of yesterday is a
gros libel on usl You happily say
that he may not have drawn his in
spiration from experience, but from
fancy. The description is SO inexact
that it cannot have been founded ON
experienced And if there is any fancy
in it, it is OF a very low
order. sShe sticks out her lips
like an open book forsOothl What
kind of a book? and how big a book?
and how wide open should it be to rep
| resent the open mouth of one of our
Jersey City girls?n And cheweth
her gum mean WHILE Dare this poet,
as you falsely proclaim him, mean that
we all carry tolu in our checks, as this
false yersifier probabaly does tobacco?
Or would he intimate that we are
toothless? or what does he mean? |
have written these few linesin the hope
OF learning, from your explanation,
the extent of his libel upon the grace
with which we Jersey City girls can
infiict kisses upon our favored beaus.
A JERSEY CITY GIRL.
At the same time that Freebooter
Smith revels in his shams, however, he
apologies for it by instancing many
lesser lights upon the lyric roll who
have wandered from the paths of COM
merce in quest of the fieeting and evan
escent Euterpe.
THESE PEOPLE OBJECT.
Freebooter Smith is not the only
one whose epistolary p%ropensities
have been heightened to the point of
expression by the publication of that
delightful poem by THE JERSEY CITY
NEWS.
In the first place, writes a Jersey