, 1889-11-03


No. The United States government is
not alone in this conscience fund business.
The Union Pacific Railway company has
a nest egg in this direction 1 n the shape
of a remittance lately received by Super
ihtendent Barr here. The contribution
was from a jay who says that eighteen
years ago he stole a piece of lumber from
the company yards at Evanston. He
gives the dimensions of the slab and
places quite a liberal estimate on its value.
The man says he has been converted and
wishes to make ample PREPARATION for all
evils committed during his career as a
wicked worldly man. MIR. Barr has sent
the money and correspondence to Omaha.
Has- Ralph Friend came back from
Omaha the other day with a brand new
and very funny gag. Place a spool of
common white thread in one of yonr in
side pockets. With the aid of a needle
pass it through the shoulder of your coat.
Leave a couple of inches of the end care
lessly nesting on the outside. Nine out
of every ten men you meet will pick at
that thread and if undeceived will pull on
the thread until it seems as if you were
all hastings. A travelling man relates in
inimitable style an amusing adventure
with the snap.
Il was to see Wilson Barrett in Claud-
ian, in Boston" he said. ''lt was in the
most Interesting and pathetic portion of
the play. Everybody was rapt. 1 was
sitting bolt upright, and didn't know or
care to know a soul around me, when
suddenly | felt some one Juggling at that
basting cotton that L myself had clean
forgotten. l didn't say a word and did
not move. Foot by foot 1t unrolled.
Halt glancing around [ saw a mana
total stranger-Yanking at that thread.
His face was scarlet. He had pulled out
about ten yards and was now hauling in
hand over hand. He didn't dare to stop
because he bad decorated my back and
the whole aisle with basting cotton. He
hardly dared to go ahead, for he didn't
know what portion of my domestic inter
ior economy he was trifing with. Rip !
Rip went the thread. Hand over hand
he yanked 1t in. The aisle was full of it.
For heavens sake it will never endl' he
said above his breath. | sat perfectly still
and ran the spool while he pulled. How
| wanted to yell. l never saw anything
in my life half so funny. The whole Sec
ton of the house got on to it. They
didn't know whether to laugh at me or
him, and some looked on amazed at the
spectacle. At last the stranger behind
me gave one frantic rip and yanked out
about eleven yards on one bunch, and as
the cotton got twisted around his watch
chain, over his eyeglasses, in his very
hair, and filed his lap, | turned around
and, producing the spool from my pocket,
said: 81 Am very much obliged for your
interest and very sorry that | mis-
led you. You see that l have
about 134 yards left, but | presume that
you don't care for any moro tonight. l
am honestly sorry, but | can't help smil-
ing. The man was q modest sort of gem
tleman in appearance. His face was red
as fire even to his ears. He looked at me
and then at the spool. He changed color
once or twice, and then as the crowd
caught on a big laugh went up right in
one of the painful passages of Claudain
and the gentleman who had intended to
pull that thread off joined in the laugh
and said, Il will square that up on my
wife when | get home; but, my friend,
l swear to heaven that l did think at one
time that l was going to undress you
where you sat- 1t catches every time,
and my own wife has been fooled twice on
it."
aas~ Moral Observation-Disclosures catches
more flies than vinegar.
The best sausage maker in the town