Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1889-05-16
T1irgluia free gre5s.
". IS. d. GALLAHER, Editor.
CharIestolcn. .Jederson Countv, West Vd
May 10, 1889.
BILL NYE SEES NI1GARA.
The Humorist Speaks Vel of the Fal

The HumOriSt Speaks Wei Of the Falls.
Eating hasty meal, our party, array
ed in alpenstocks and conscious rectitude,
began the ascent by a circuitous route.
Wereached Niagara Falls Station, whence
we proceeded by drosky to our chalet
Here we alighted. The chalet is kept
| by native American, and after our long
Tourney from Buffalo it was good to once
more hear the music Of our own language
Hastily eating a light lunch we put on
.ur top coats, and in charge of John
Darn we proceeded by diligence toward
the Falls via the American side.
The storm now burst upon us in all its
fury, and the rain descended in the wild
est profusion, saturating the Falls and
rendering them well-nigh impossible Our
muleteer covered himself with his pontoon
and wrapped his tarpaulin around his
ears, and while our slender diligence
swaycd in the blast he drove us across to
Goat Island. The thunder of the i'm
mense volume Of water was now swallow
ed by the mighty roar of the bursting
tempest, and then as it died away like the
wall of perishing soul, one would again
hear the sullen thunder of the Falls.
We now began the descent on the side
of the Goat Island looking toward the
Great Horseshoe Fall. The rain fell in
torrents, and rs our umbrellas had been
turned wrong side out by the blast we
were soon wet to the skin. There we
stood in the presence of the greatest spec
tacle America can produce, perhaps, out
side of Congress. Like an egotistical au-
thor Niagara for centuries has been pour
ing over her own works. Ii IS really,
however, beyond criticism. l went there
thinking that if the Falls really deserved
scathing | would seattle them through the
press and inquire their business, but |
must say that, like Mr.. H)oth, they de-
serve their great success, and | do not
blame them for respecting themselves,
and having their pictures taken every
little while, and getting their names in
the papers. They deserve all the glory
they have got, and far be it from me to
put a straw in the way of the progress Of
Niagara Falls
We next went down 10 the Whirlpool,
and on the way a detachment Of John
Darms escorted US with an air Of suspi-
cion. Our drosky driver evidently watch
ek us every moment like cat. At the
Whirlpool we alighted again, being mar
rowly watched by the driver and John
Darn from Cohoes.
Here, as we reached the brink of the
cliff, the blizzard struck US amidship; the
great Niagara, which has assisted so
many temperance lecturers in soaring to
death the moderate drinker, seemed to be-
come silent in the presence Of Mr.. Biz
zard from the wild and unkempt west.
Just then, my high silk hat, which wear
in ascending the Al ps and doing the tour
ist act generally, went up into a large
blue hole in the sky; and while / was
watching it the square, rel remarks,
Keep off the grass, " with an iron rod on
one side, swatted me across the stomach.
The storm was now at its height, the
roof of the hotel gently lifted with the
breeze, and through the fast falling rain
we could see a surprised gentleman in his
room just emerging through the neckband
of a bright new shirt. With a look Of
wonder and horror he tried to pull down
the roof again and conceal himself, but
he could not do so.
The storm now took off its coat and
shrieked while the Whirlpool was lashed
to its greatest fury and at the Whirlpool
Bazaar genuine Indian moccasiDs made
| in Connecticut went down to 81 pair.
I made 4 movement toward the brink Of
the precipicg, intending topper down over
it into the boiling waters, when felt the
grasp of a John Darn on my shoulder
and jerked back with an oath which
would have sworn in q whole precinct Of
uon.residenx at Presidential election.
dnrsusfsur fol ks1nsslf, aid the John