The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1889-08-03
A CHATsW0RTH LIAR.

A two-year cid child of Cbas. Dysert,
living near Granville, says the Chatsworth
Paindeater, climbed to the top of 5O-foot
windmill tower and descended without a.
sistance. You may imagine the feelings of
the mother when she saw the little one at
the top Of the tower and the effort required
to keep from startling the child.
80
While digging through the rock, on the
island in the Fox river at Aurora, the other
day, workmen came upon set Of enormous
teeth. The longest was two inches in length
and an inch or more vide at the base. They
terminated in sharp point, had serrated
edges. and somewhat resembled Indian ar
row heads. | can give no reason why these
teeth were imDeded in two feet Of solid rock
nor can | tell what they were doing there,
unless it be possible that Robert Mann
Woods, Of Joliet, may have lost them while
investigating the qualities of Fox and Des-
PLANES river waters.
-
l stood on the bridge at Main street,
while the bells Of midnight tolled; and
the stencil that rose from the waters, was
calm in its might and bold. could see the
bubbles rising from the sewage beneath
the trill Of that old ravne's black waters as
fhau al IN a.
Whit Of breeze came to still that stencil so
loud, and the moon in weary silence had
her nose 10 passing cloud. How often, oh,
how often, in the night time had come, to
gaze on the waving branches, and list to the
waters hum. But tonight was foot-sore
and weary, and pain shot through my
head, but listened there in the moonlight,
to hear what the fishes said. They swan up
meath the arches, but further they would
not go; and they sang their plaintive dirges,
in tones that were soft and low. IL seemed
that an epidemic was raging in their ranks,
and the bridge was the awful dead-line from
the center to the banks. Yes, used to sit
and ponder, while the fishes would upward
stare, but malaria, typhoid and cholera, are
greater than | can bear.
*.*
No." said the bartender, q" the man who
fills his whisky glass to the brim never be-
comes intoxicated, it's the fellow who only
sips half inch or 30 Of the stuff You see
the small glass fellow is your frequent
drinker. lie drinks early and late and of
ten, and its dollars to cents that he never
draws a sober breath after dinner. The 9TH
err gent takes it cooler, and generally gets
big horn before meals and at bed time.
There's more money for US in the small
drink man"
A young man was out about town on the
mash last Sunday night, and, espying a
couple of lady friends sauntering down La
Sale street, set sail in their direction to
"catch on" lie was just at their elbows
when another fellow stepped ont of a stair
Why Iva. Wy toOh tutlT hTIuS huu Whhcu
away What did the first young man do?
He just murmured good evening"" and
passed along.
X.
ado you know what's the matter with
you?" said nettled drummer, to Manager
Duncan Of the Clifton. "You ought to be q
farmer
Four days later when the drummer was
paying his bill, Mr.. Duncan leaned toward
him in confidential way and said.
"Ssy, I've been thinking Of what you
told me and believe you are right. I've
been in this business twenty lone years and
am not worth q cent more than you are.
We've missed our callings--missed EN- BAD
Exit drummer enveloped in thick coat
ing of gloom.