Morning journal and courier., 1889-08-23
STRANGLED.

Wife (arousing husband )-Arehibald l! there's burglar down stairs. Husband (drowsily)-Is therea We'll, keep quiet; per- haps he'll strangle your mother. (Sleeps.)- Time.
 Art Note-The Hanging Committee of the Associated Charcoal Sketchers has rejected the "Picture of a Man, Drawn from Memo ry," the work of Miss Penelope Lonely, now summering at Surf City, N. J.-Puck.
 A Great Improvement-Bobby (at the ta. Mother (sh,ocked)-"Bobby, is that the way to ask for bread!" Bobby (guiltily) -"Chuck me piece of bread, please. ."-Harper's Ba- gar.
 Countryman-"Whoa are they putting that statue up for?" Citizen-'sThat's the statue of James Brown Smith," 'sDid he do any thing great or wise while he liveda" "Yes, he paid for the statue before he died."- Time.
 Cohen-"Vy vas you standing up by dot letter box so long, Jacob2" Loewenstein-"I vas got glaim against the government, Abraham. My clerk put two stamps on 8 letter by mistake, und wait for dot carrier to fix it!"-Texas Siftings.
 He Saved His Life.-A visitor from Phila- delphia got 80 dreadfully scared when att tempting to cross Broadway during the
  train to South Ferry and then came up town on one of the east side lines.-Puck. Algernon Charles Swinburne opens poem by stating the difficulty of finding rhyme for the word "babe." He closes with, Glove alone, with yearning heart for astrolabe, takes the stars height, burning OCT the babe." If this takes the stars height 1t also takes the eake.-Picayune.
 Nurse (reading stArabian Nights )-'sAnd when the fisherman opened the bottle there was rushing sound, and the fisherman fell | on his knees before the awful Djinn." Tom my Sozzle (aged six)-"He wasn't much of g ! fisherman to be afraid of Ginn Fizz. ."-Bos ton Commercial Advertiser. A success.-Man of family-"That burglar l alarm is grand success: wouldn't part with | it for a mint of money. It went off at l o'clock this morning." Dealer-"Ehs Die you catch burglar trying to get in.' ''No but caught my daughters young man try ! ing to get out. ."-New York Weekly.
 'Is your father coming to church thi morning. Henrya" asked the minister of
 small boy whom he met in the street. :.
 guess so," replied Henry. Somebody stol I his fishing tackle last night, and heard hin tell ma at the breakfast table this mornin
 that his fun for to-day was spoiled, and h
 s'posed he might as we'll go to church. "-
 Norristown Weekly.
 First small boy-"Dye remember that da' las' week wen we got inter Farmer Hay seeds orch'di' Second small boy-"Y Yes
 an d. ye remember what a lot of apples VI got" "Yes; an d ye remember how soul
 they wasp "Yes; an d' ye remember hoy
 the dog got arter us an tore our clothess'
 "Yes an d. ye remember what a lot we ca
 wen we got away'' "Yes; an d ye remem
 Der how sick we all wasa" "Yes and didn'
 we have bully timea"-Puck.
 Tennyson is very good poet, but h. doesn't know much about swallows, as 8, ] English naturalist afirms. In one of hi earlier poems he wrote that the "swallov stopt as he hunted the bee." That was s' far wrong that in the latest edition he hal substituted fly for bee. Lord Tennyson los sight of the splendid opportunity he had fo saying that when the bee hunts the swallow the swallow doesn't stop long anywhere Boston Transcript.
 l They sat within the parlor dim. And fretfully she said to him: wish, dear John, that you'd behave, If not, wish that you would shave. | Boston Courier