Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1889-05-10
PITH AND POINT.

Bachelor of hearts-Cupid n
The candle wick is up to snuff.
An informer-A hotel architect
A hand book-A work on palmistry. :
A man who drives away customers
The cabman.
A girl in the bloom of youth is gen.
orally bud.
Sage advice to cook cannot go much
beyond turkey stuffing. Z.
"As green us grass" does not apply to
the hey day" of youth.
All walters die rich-that is, il success
comes to those who wait.
One may screw up his courage and
have his attention riveted.
There is great deal of the spice of
life in the work of the pastry cook.
A dark sccrot-The locality of the
Matchbox with the gas turned out.
Why should oil producers ever grumble2
They live on the fat Of the land. Silt
ings.
A soldier, who can only afford pipe
of clay, looks with envy on the sailors
hornpipe.
Mrs. Langtry, the actress, says she
never carries any money, but she draws
lots of it.
A glass eye has one compensation
everybody else can see through the de-
vice, if the weater can't.-Lye.
When visiting nobleman signs him.
self "M. p" it generally means "Mar-
riageablc Peer. Mao York Sun.
A man escapes death by shear luck when
the Fates who hold the thread of life
find their scissors too dull to cut it.
Nc,o York Sun.
A Texas editor sends free paper to
the banker of his village, in order that
he can tell his friends he is going down
to inject his paper" at the banE.-!Sifr-
ings.
First Shopping Fiend-' Madam,
that's my muifI' Second Shopping
Fiend- why how inexcusaby stupid
of me to pick up an imitation monkey
skim"
What nonsense it is for men in the
shipping interests to talk of dull times,
when it is so we'll known that there is
always boom in shipping. -Neto York
Nesos.
Jones-"Say, how much did Packer
NiSui OJ LhuL speculation OF nlSf'
Smith-"C Cleared out all his relatives
and most of his friends, and now he has
cleared the town."
And it is true that while kisses are
more plentiful than diamonds or rubies,
man will often deny himself more to Sc
cure the former than Il gem of purest ray
serene NeaO YORK; HeraM.
The confidence lay" is to winningly speak
Of thn tra Il. 70
The "iay'' OF the thief is the Jimmy" or
The "lay" of the hen is the egg.
-Herchant 1raus'er.
Mrs. Herway-''Dear me, Pm getting
so stout. Do you think l could manage
n tricycle., Charley" Mr.. Herway (mar-
ried three yearsj-"M Manage tricycle.,
my love? You can manage anything"
Miss Caterer-"Mr. Slicer, you seem
to be in very solemn mood this morn
ing" MIR. Slicer (dissccting an alleged
sirloin)-"Yes'm My mind is wander
ing back to the days of the Christian
martyrs; I am recalling all their suffer-
inGs at the stake"
When the receiver of stolen goods
was brought before the court, he as
snred the Judge that the reception was
entirely informal. His honor accepted
the explanation with true courtesy, and
informed the receiver that his sentence
of five years in the State Prison was a
mere matter of routine. Boston Tran
script.
She WINS seven, I was nine,
L loved her niadly-and she know t;
knelt and begged her to be mine,
She said she really couldn't do il.
AT thirty eight her hair is gray
Her roses brighter bloom than ever:
o-morrow is our wedding day;
TITS late, but better late than never
-Munsey's Weekly
An Englishman named St. John hes
been travelling in the West. He got so
tired explaining to every one that his
name was pronounced "S1njun" that he
finally hired man to do it for him, and
at last accounts the man had got into
six fights with groveling hotel clerks,
who tried TO persuade him that he
didn't know how to pronounce his en-
ployer's name.-Ntao York Tribune.
He was begger all tho time,
AS he his way was pegging;
The cops thought he might do some crime.
So, took him up for begging.
The Judge then took him down nep
With, .rl send you to work hard, john
The beggar then continued to beg
Saying, Judge, L beg your pardon.h
-Goodalps San.