The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-05-02
BRIGHT BITS.

Too PPEvIors.-
These waffies Maria he said,
AS with coldly critical eye
lie eyed them. and then shook his head,
with chunks Of warm rubber would vie.
AND bah, what a horrible taste
1t S the taste Of nearly raw dough.
~Ihese must have been made in great haste,
should die if ate one know
Bald his wife with whitening look:
Your NAV happened in here, you see,
And made them--ain't she good cook ?"
Pass the waffies, my darling, said he.
AFFECTION goes into bankruptcy when it mar.
rvs for money and fails TO get it.-Nelc Orleans
PtcdyuRe.
IF man can only make his story improbable
enough he can always fiui somebody 10 believe
lt.-SomeTrute Journal.
on THE TRorTo1R;--"Why did you wink at
that girl that passed.
Force of habit. She's soda water fountain
girl. TO Day.
throat" asked the philanthropist OF the topper.
Il am seeking for get-full-nesS,N said the topper
to the philanthropist. t. Terre Hdute Express.
A LOGICAL Exp1AxArIoN.-Mg hear a
policeman was killed yesterday in the discharge
of his duty.
Biggs-He probably didn't know it was loaded
PUCK.
ST PErER-Hello, there! Why don't you
come in?
SANITY Shade running away)--Not much.
Just caught sight of my wife in there.-ToDH
Topics.
SHE-What do you think OF this fad of having
the hand photographed
He-I think pretty girl can have her hand
taken without going TO the photographer s.
HGrper's Bazdr.
HER FAvoRITE AUTHoH-Mrs Upper Ten
Who ia your favorite author?
Misa Van Aristocrat-The author Of my
being He gave me diamond necklace last
night Chicago Journal
YABsLEY-T saw a cute thing in the paper this
morning. 1t said the easiest way TO get rid Of
a bore was to lend him quarter.
Wackwire-I'm awfully sorry, Yabby, but |
haven't a cent on me TeT7e HGute Express.
A VERY MILD HINT Hell saw an item in the
paper to-day stating that peanuts are a cure for
insomnia.
She with long repressed yawn)-Is that so I?
Well, guess must have eaten TOO many this
evening, Burlington -1es Press.
A TRAVELLING NAN.-SIrs. Hashcroft-I under.
stand, Mr.. Billings. that you are a much
Travelled man,
Billings certainly was last night There
must have been dozen of them travelling Oh
me at one time, 1 think.-TerTe Hdute Express.
IT has been claimed that New York city was
the most cosmopolitan place in she United
States With the opening of Oklahoma this
theory is rapidly dissp4ted. All the nations on
eartn are now represented there, and there arc
three or four men from New Jersey.-St. Paul
Pioneer Press.
PROBABLY CASE OF SUICIDE-"Were there any
deadly wea pons concealed about him." inquired
the coroner.
Nothing but this, replied the witness And
amid the profound silence of the spectators he
placed flask Of Iowa whisky on the table
Chicago Tribune.
THAT WAS JUST THE TRoUBLE-''What is it.
dear asked his wife, passing her cool hand
over his troubled brow; what is on your
mind?'
Nothing" answered the poet. mournfully
gazing at the blank sheet of paper before him.
'Nothing, assure you. Puck.
alta POPULAR BOOK -SaleSman-You
had better order big lot OF Mexico as It is -
I've had dozen calls for it this morning. and
were oil out.
started up the sale?
''Why the Canadian government has passed
the extradition treaty, and American ebscond-
ers can't go to Csnsda.-Chicd0o Herald