davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN he has cold in the head is the only
time Bob Ingersoll is on his sneeze.-TexGs
Siftings.
UNcoNQUERABLE-Tran Robber tentering
smoking ca:}-Throw up your hands,
Jenkins (engrossed in euchre=HanSed il
Will. Here's both bowers and the joker.-Terds
SUtings.
lGSoRAET MAIDEN-Mr Marshare must be a
model husband.
'Why sou
He is SO attentive to other women, you
know, he must be q perfect slave to his wife,
Boston Transcript.
WOMAN is an enigma She will face a frown-
ing world and cling to the man she loves
through the most bitter season of trial and ad-
versity but she wouldn't wear q hat three
weeks behind the style to save the government.
-uunSey's Weekly.
" JOE you were up with Miss jenkins until 1s
Yes. was trying TO outsit another fellow"
20, that was it, Ell? I've been there myself
Who was the other fellow?'
Her father. "-EpOch.
DIaeINs-Do you see that portly man over
there by the door?
Miggins-Yes fine-looking man.
Diggins-He takes life easily
Miggins-Looks as if he did
Dlggins-He does; he's a doctor.-Americd.
STRANGER ito drayman, who has Just pulled
him out of the river My good man, take this
dollar, and welcome That is enough. isn't itY
Drayman-It will be- sor, if yez will go and
Iail In again, an give me a chance to make
another dollar betoor the coroner.-Terre Hslte
Express.
BILL-,How does the fair Clara look upon your
suit?
Charlie-Pretty favorably, guess. When
called last evening l found that there was a
fresh hod of coal by the Stove and that the
clock had been stopped l feel encouraged
Kedrlley Enterprise.
Box OFFICE MAN-Free list is suspended sir
:, disappointed Deadhead-Whatl with king
Henry v. on the boards?
Box Office Man-What has that to do with it?
Disappointed Deadhead-Don't che play say
Base is the slave that paysS''
Gets his pass.-MunSey's Weekly
IN ABOUT ANOTHER WEEK the romantic young
girl will be walking out to gather the autumn
lear and the benumbed caterpillar, and you lust
watch aud see how inStinctively she will walk
in the direction which offers the greatest pros
pects OF meeting with romantic young man
who is out looking for chestnuts. Free
Press.
INTENDING PURcHAsER--How much will you
knock of on your price for cash?
Dakota Druggist@ price, sir, is $40, 900 cash
l. But you wrote me last week that you
would sell out for 1000 on three years time
ID. D.-Ah! But that was before our election
sir. You know prohibition GARFIELD st Paul
Pioneer Press.
FIRST BURGLAR Creeping watch at back win
dowl-Wotss the matter, Bill? Wot scared you
back so qulck' Any O the family awake?
Second Burglar with extreme disgust)-NawI
Somebody been yere ahead of us-that's all
Fust thing found wuz receipted bill fur new
scnool books fur six children. Pick up them
TOOLS ana let's git away. No use wastin' any
more Time here.-Chtcd0o Tribune.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31

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The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31

GOV. HIS Little Joke.

The republican organs were thrilled with
Joy when Gov. Hill remarked, in one Of his
Atlanta speeches, that he could not go into
details on certain line because he had left
his encyclopedia at home. They thought,
or pretended to think, that this was
covert thrust at Mr. Cleveland, who, in his
trips about the country while President,
had a very sensible habit of informing him
self concerning the principal features of
the cities he was to visit, thus putting him
self in position to give local interest to
his speeches. They took advantage of the
remark to picture state Of i'll feeling be-
tween Gov. Hill and Mr.. Cleveland, and
one who was not acquainted with the real
relations existing between these two dis
tinguished democrats would have thought
that in a few days they would be fighting
each other like Kilkenny cats.
1t suited these republican organs to ignore
the fact that Mr.. Cleveland was not the
only man against whom Gov. Hills joke
might have been directed. Mr.. Blaine is
somewhat given to refreshing his memory
by reference to the encyclopedia, and fire.
quently, no doubt, he has been credited
"AOd huOWleuRe VI Iuo
when, in fact, he was indebted to the ency-
clopedia for some of his best hits. Presi
dent Harrison, in some of his speeches
during the campaign, was also a debtor of
that interesting compilation of facts.
Gov. Bill might have intended to get the
laugh upon one of these republicans, but as
a matter OF fact he did not have in mind
either Mr.. Blaine, President Harrison or
Mr. Cleveland. Mr. Patrick Collins, who
was with the Hill party, says that the joke
was aimed at Mr.. Roswell P. Flower,
another member of the party. In his
speeches before he arrived in Atlanta, Mr.
Flower dealt more or less in statistics, and
made complimentary comparisons between
the past and the present of certain cities,
and after awhile his companions began to
joke him about it. When Gov. Hill was
about to finish his Atlanta speech he looked
at Mr.. Flower and made the remark which
has given the republican organs such great
joy.
1t would be a very good idea for the re-
publican organs to refer to the encyclo-
pedia sometimes themselves. They are
not always correct in their statements, and
frequently they are glaringly incorrect
where politics is concerned. An encyclope-
dia is a very good thing to have around,
and it cannot be too strongly recommended
to these organs.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
A Family Likeness.
From the Neto York Star.


Congressman John Allen of Mississippi was
the central figure of q pleasant group of south
ern gentlemen at the Hoffman house Yesterday.
The witty southern representative is always at
his best when telling an entertaining story In
talking about the amusing incidents connected
with political campaigning in his congressional
district, he related several stories in the negro
dialect among the best Of which was the fol
lowing
81 had Just returned from making political
speech" said Mr.. Allen, when was met at the
door by old 'Aunty' Allison, an aged negro
woman, who nursed me in childhood With her
big, black, good-natured face all wreathed in
smiles, she said: Bless ma SOUL Mass'r John
but how yo' don remin' me o. yo' deah ole
gran far. Yo' walk like him, talk like him. act
like him, an am jes' like him in politiks, too :
why, aunty, never knew that my grand
father had been active in politics. said T.
80, deed an deed he wah Massr John. He
wah jest like yo'self in that pa'ticlah.'
In what way, auntyT
%, he wah all de time holdin' office
"'Wh hat Office did grandfather hold auntyf'
"'JeS' de same as yo'-candidate q"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
A Great Liar, but a Great Man.
From the Detroit Free Press.


In a stove store yesterday a man came rush.
ing in and said to the proprietor:
Have you gene into lying for trader"
20, no.
''Wen you lied about that stove"
MAN on his way up there now to put il I'D.
Rushed to DEATH you know. Hope you haven't
suffered"
The next caller was a woman, who fastened a
cold glare on the stove man and deliberately
said:
I'm never do a cents worth of business with
you again if live here fifty years.
''Stovepipe is on the wagon there and ready
to go up, maam. Woke up in the night TO hope
you wouldn't be put out"
The third caller was boy, who stood in the
doortand called:
Hey, youl Ny father says he'd like to knock
your head of.
"Oh. yes, you are Mr.. Blanks son. Just sent
a man up 70 your house with that damper ten
minutes ago. Lost the sale OF a stove 70 hurry
him on"
Are those fair samples OF your callersf' was
asked the dealer.
Just about j catch II about twenty times a
day Ut this season OF the year"
"And you mover talk backy''
meyer. nustie and do the best / can, aud
II kicker comes ia hold my psaee or talk
tany one word back talk would lose their
trade Everybody waits tlii the lat minute fuT
stove or repairs, and then everybody comes
Hlth rush. There cones q woman ~ blow
ula up about n1inR q door % q stove That
door has been br0keu for I've years bat he
only within the sast Eesk that she las decided
" nave ~ nKsl She n be- savage, bat l'il mol.
ny her some way aud get that stove d0sn b.
Monday, 80 lpnK my busy day
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
The Bloody Shirt in Rhode Island.

Some OF the people of Newport, r. l.,
met the other night to protest, as they ex-
pressed it, against the outrages which are
being perpetrated in the southern states
upon unoffending blacks. From the account
in the Newport Observer, it was a great
meeting-after its fashion. The bloody
shirt was brought forth, and nearly every
body present gave it shake.
The chairman, who is mayor of the city,
shook it first. He said that the blacks in
the south were outraged, and were forbid
den to vote. He was followed by the three
vice-chairmen, each trying to out-do the
other in abuse of the south, after which the
meeting was opened for general discussion.
One man said that southern outrages were
due to the fact that the whites are Jealous
of the advancement of the blacks. He
thought the whites ought to be taught
a lesson, and this remark caused an
other man to say that unless the whites
learned to behave themselves there would
he dark days in the next thirteen months.
He wanted the blacks to rise
in their might He wanted it
10 be known that the black people would be
protected, if not by the constitution, then
in some other way. Another man devoted
his time to an appeal to congress to pass a
federal election law, or to unseat demo-
cratic members Of congress from the south.
Several ministers spoke, aud they were par
ticularly bitter against the south. All of
the speakers seemed to be willing to make
affidavit that the blacks were being tram
| pied upon, inundated and murdered for
political purposes. The governor was ex-
pected TO be present, but the Oh
Seruer announced that he was
detained in Providence. No doubt this was
an error of the types. What the Observer
meant to say was that he was detained by
Providence. He received several thousand
votes less in the recent election than the
democratic candidate. and as he owed his
election by the legislature to the virtual
! Acknowledgement of democratic voters,
he would have come pretty near annihilat-
ing the whites of the south for the alleged
Acknowledgement of republicans, had not
Providence interfered.
Now the question is: Did these people
know what they we're talking abouta Did
they get their information by personal
observation in the south, OF from republican
organs of the northi 1t is very plain that
they got it from the organs, and it is also
evident that they are densely ignorant of
the real condition of affairs in the south.
| They made themselves ridiculous in the
eyes of well-informed people Instead of
attacking the south for imaginary election
abuses, they should have started a move
meat for correcting actual election abuses
in Rhode Island.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

SPECIAL NoTIcEs-As to Bills Against British
Steamships Sheikh, Piqua and Albania, and
Portuguese Bark Ysabel; Assorted Hats at Jau-
don's; To Contractors, Builders and the General
Public, Lloyd & Adams; Choice Horses, c. B.
Younglove; The staff of Life, at Derst's
Variety Bakery.
STEAMSHIP SCHEDULE Ocean Steamship Com
pany.
AUCTION SALEs-Crockery, by Robt. H. Ia
tenn; Damaged Cotton, Sale of Furniture, by j.
Mclaughlin & Son.
The GREAT IMPROVEMENT IN RooFINe-H. W.
Johns Manufacturing Company, New York.
FURNISH Your HoME-A. S. Thomas
CHEAP COLUMN ADvERTIsEMENTs- Help Want
ed; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For Sale;
Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
Discipline
Fron. az Youth,s Communion.

FTOW NE YOUTHS COnlpdlliOn.
The Emperor of Germany, sitting in his room
one day, heard sounds of a viole mt tumult in the
nursery, and speedily made his way to the
scene. When he entered the room, the crown
prince and Prince Eitel drew themselves up, and
saluted their father in the military fashion, as
was their won't.
What is all this noise about?' the emperor
asked.
"A little dispute, sire, replied the elder son,
and l thought l would let my brother know
who is crown prince here"
Because wanted 20 use the Latin lexicon
first, sire, y said the younger The slapped me. "
II did, SIRE said the elder lad, for Eitel
would not else believe that my rights are first
in this house,
"Goodi' said his majesty. 81 see what you
mean, and think it will be as well in the same
way to let you know what rights the emperor.
your father, has in this house,
The emperor proceeded accordingly IN a man
ner to impress the same on the mind and also on
the body of the young crown prince
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
Butter in the CAMPAIGN.

An interesting and unique issue has been
Injected into the campaign for governor of
Massachusetts, and it may be added that
it is also an important one to a considerable
number ofpeople. Farmers Of that state, to
the number of about 25, 900, have leagued
themselves together to secure the passage of
bill forbidding the coloring of oleomarga-
rlne in imitation of butter, and they have
sent letters to the democratic and re-
publican candidates, asking them if they
would sign such a bill Mr.. Rus
sell, the d emocratic candidate, has
made no explicit pledge, but it
is said that he has satisfied the farm
ers that he is in favor of "honest butter"
Mr.. Bracket, the republican candidate, on
the contrary, has not given the farmers any
sort of satisfaction. In fact, he has thus
far ignored their letter, and as they declare
that they will not vote for any candidate
who does not meet the issue satisfactorily,
it is possible that he will lose a good many
votes, though perhaps not enough to defeat
him.
Instances are not wanting in which can
didates have been defeated upon issues
which appeared to them to be trivial, and
if Mr.. Brackett should be defeated upon the
butter issue he would be the object Of a
good deal of ridicule. This, however, is
not the only issue he is trying to dodge
All efforts to get him to declare his views
upon prohibition have been unavailing, and
consequently he may lose votes of both
prohibitionists and anti-prohibitionist
The people have a right to know where
candidates stand upon all public questions,
and they do not admire a man who is
afraid to put himself upon record.
Mr.. Brackets silence on the question of
honest butter signifies that he does not
regard that issue as one that legitimately
belongs to the campaign, or that he holds
views with regard to it which he is not will
ing for the people to know. The farmers
would be pecuniarily benefited by law
such as they advocate. The sale OF oleo-
margarine is seriously interfering with an
important branch of their business, and
they are quite right in wanting that article
sold upon its merits, instead of being
palmed off for butter.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
Chicago's Marvellous Growth.
ErOlIl the Trih1Lne

FTOTH ne Ir1bltlle.
Joaquin Miller seems to be out on a hunt for
ran stories. Here is one of them 1.-THE first
thing saw as l came into the outer edge of
Chlcago was house on wheels. What does
snat mean asked. A man of Chicago stepped
forward and said: Sir that :.lsn. a good man
ne IS, too; very rich and enterprising; happen
70 know him well; neighbor of mine; well
mat man IS asthmatic: has the asthma awfully
SIT; ana mas to live in the suburbs of the city,
SIR SO that he had his house built ON wheels so
that ne could move it out as fast as the city
crowded him. sir. All, l see he is about to move
AGAIN GOOD day, sir; my station, sir, and my
informant leaped from the car
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
A Lard Ran.

He had his baggage piled I'D so as to occupv
the whole seat in the car, says the New York
Sun, while two or three men who lacked moral
courage were sitting on the arms of seats al
ready 1un- BY and by he turned to one of the
men on the seat behind him and queried:
Are you not a farmer?"
Yes, sir, l am" was the reply.
Wen. farmers generally hit the weather
pretty straight. Do you say it is going to be a
cold winter?''
1 do, sir; but Iexpect all the hogs will pull
through without any extra suffering
Inc other tried to say something further, and
10 preserve the placid look on his countenance,
but the result was a fiat failure, and he whirled
around and resumed his reading
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31

Mr.. William B. Craig, of Springfield,
Mo-, is suing for divorce, and he will
probably get it. His wife seems to be
professional bigamist. She has made it
practice to fascinate widowers from the
country, and after she married them and
got her clutches upon the money, she would
decamp. She was on the lookout for new
victim when she saw Mr.. Crag's advertise
ment for housekeeper. She applied for the
position, was accepted, and in few weeks
the unsuspecting Mr.. Craig obtained her
consent to marry him. Ten days after the
marriage he gave her 81, 900, and she went
to Chicago to spend it. As she did not re-
turn at the promised time. he went after
her, and when he found her, she coolly toll
him that she was married to another man,
and that she had been legally advised how
far she could go with such suckers" as he.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31

Miss Mary Casey was a school teacher in
Ireland, and John Doian was one Of her
pupils. Miss Casey Is n years old, aud
DSlah Is II. Some time ago tue young lady
FELL heir % several thousand dollars, and
she FFaposod 10 Dolan 20 pay his passage 10
America aud " marry him when they az.
rived 10 this pOuntry, They arrived the
other day, aud she emigration oommis-
si0nen viii probably sad the boy back "
iisasgq On tbe ground that be is paupsr.
May 10 dlsesssolale ~ he pnospsoi u
saang boz y0aiAful loser snG G.sFt " Dor
meesy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31

Goodrich, the republican who was de-
feated for congress in Florida last fall, is in
Washington. He says that he will be able
to show that with a fair count he would have
had roo majority. He may convince good
many republicans that he ought to be
seated, notwithstanding his opponent was
fairly elected; but he will never be able to
show that he received a majority. If he
did not depend upon republican partisan
ship and rascality TO seat him, he would
never have brought bis contest.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
a Street Car Revery.
From the CHICAGO Herald.

From the Chicago Herald.
The car was crowded, every seat
was taken, when from out the street
a matron entered. plain of face,
And, vainly glancing for a place
To sit. she saw from door to door
No room for even just one more.
When next the bell above us rang
A pretty maiden lightly sprang
Upon the step and in, and then
There was shrinking of the men
AS each one took a gentle slide
AND made room for her at his side.
And can it be that age must stand
While beauty homage can command?
And is there in our heart no place
For naught except pretty face?
What funny creatures these men are
we sometimes meet upon the car.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
Reotstered at TIE ROstoplce IN savannah.

The'MoRx1se News is published every day in
the year and Is served to subscribers an the citb
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The MORNING News, Tri-Weekly, Mondays,
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Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit by
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LISTERS and kilograms should be addressed
@MoRSno News" Savannah, Ga.
Advertising rates made known on application
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
= Burning Love Test.

From To11T1 Topics.
Slashfumble-Thatw was a peculiar cause for
breaking on an engagement, that of Clink-
stacks.
Rigglesby-You don't mean TO say he has
thrown Miss Neryura over, do you?
Slashfumble-Well. / should say so.
Rigglesby-And what for, l should like to
know?
Slashfumble- Well, when she came home
from the seashore he made up his mind that
I ner me OF sunourn did not stop just where he
thought it should. In fact it went out of sight
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
The Truth About Virginia:

From the NetO York Star (Denl).
The story that the democrats in Virginia are
seriously alarmed by the extent of republican
preparations, and by the newly discovered
apathy and lack of organization in the demo-
cratic forces may be set down as "a weak in.
venton of the enemy" Senator Barbour is not
the kind of political manager who postpones
the work of organization until the eve of cleo
ton, although ne may hold back the dem onstra-
ton of strength that results from the fruition
of plans long under yyay
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31

Mrs. Hyer, of Indianapolis, places high
value upon her little daughters hair. Some
time ago the little child was placed in
charge of the board of children's guardians,
and under the rules of the board she had to
have her hair cut. She is said to have had
unusually pretty hair, and when she was
returned home the ether day, her mother
instituted suit against the board for $500
damages for the loss of it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31

1t is thought that the state department at
Washington has received a request from
the Louisiana authorities for the extradi-
ton Of eK-Treasurer Burke, but the state
department officers are not disposed TO give
amy information upon the subject. They
say that II such request had been made,
il would bs their duty 10 withhold any in
formation that might serve 10 defeat To
sDds Of justice.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31

The professional rat-catcber who was
employed az the white house is about 10
abandon bis task ~ disgust he says that
fron the reports received be expected ~
eateb possibly Loo Tals, bat that toe nun
bar be has caught Il iess THAI 100. ~
aoeaat understand hos 100 Fats could haye
@estad mueh "a . disturbances IL such big
h0aao.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31
Noble Should Curb His Temper.

From The Scranton Republican Denny.
Judging from letters recently written by Sec
retsry of the Interior Noble, he has lost his
temper and has secome irritable. This may be
the effect of Corporal Tanners criticisms, but
the secretary does not show to the best advan-
tage when he informs one man that Il am boss
here" and another that Il never had any con-
fdence in YOU
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-10-31

The National Reform Association, now
in session in Philadelphia, is discussing the
question of uniform divorce law. The
sentiment in favor of such a law is growing
stronger, and if the advocates of it will
keep up the fight, as doubtless they will,
there is, every probability that they will
eventually be successful.