Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1889-07-09
FAMO US.

John Hancock has been nominated for
school commissioner by the Ohio Republic
cans. Johns penmanship made him famous
long ago.-Chicago News.
Father-What does your college course In
cludea
full mile straight away and return.-Omaha
World.
Mr.. Slimpurse-"Whatl Want to get a
new maid for Fashion Beachs Why don't
you take the one you haye." Mrs. Slim
purse-"She knows how we live when
we're at home. New York Weekly.
"Well, sir, what are your prospects' My
daughter can't marry beggar." II expect
to come into a large fortune, SIR" "Inherit
ed from whoms" sInherited from my-er
that is to say, from my father -lsw."-
Time.
"Ah, madame" said the tramp ri haven't
had mouthful for two days"
"Why, gave you whole pie yester-
day"
$50 you did, mum. so you did. But the
two days refer to are to-day and to.mor-
row, num- Harper's Bazaar.
Scene Boarding house dining room. Pro-
prietor, who is prohibitionist, 1oquitur-
ssThe fact that you have to take out license
to sell liquor proves that it is wrong to keep
q saloon" Young married gentlewoman
(from Chicago)-"Well, had to take a Ii
oense in Cook county in order.to get married.
Perhaps you'll dare to tell me there was
something wrong in that. t."-New York Her
aid.
Chow much are Strawberries" she asked a
Woodward avenue grocer. "Ten cents,
ma'am." "Isn't that highs' ''Well, yes;
but they are certain to go higher" "Do you
| think sog" ''Why, certainly. IT Austria
| and Russia go to war, as now seems probable,
| strawberries will jump to 30 cents quart in
| no time" eyes, s'pose 80, and s'pose
Charles will agree that ought to buy now.
You may give me pint."-Detroit Free
l Press.
"Do you expect to do him ups" inquired
the sporting reporter, as he took out his note
book.
"I'm not making any brsgs about thil
fight" answered the celebrated pugilist,
modestly. 'I have left all that to the othel
feller. don't mind tellin' you, though
that I'm goin' to paste the gol-blasted duf
fer's nose all over his face inside of siz
rounds just as sure as the sun rises!"-Chi
cago Tribune.
Sunday school teaoher.-Now Johnny
Cumso, it is your turn. Recite your verse
please.
Johnny (reciting)-A certain man wen
down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fel
among thorns, and the thorns sprang up ant
choked him.
''Did you learn that verse out of the Bible
Johnnya"
"Nome. Pop taught it to me."-Munsey'
Weekly.
In Dean Burgon's account of Dean Mansel
1t is said the metsphysician was once driving
out with Prof. Chandler and others, includ
ing little girl, who suddenly exclaimed
apropos of a donkey by the roadside: "Lool
at that donkey. He has got his head into g
barrel, and can't get it out" Mansel wa
heard to mutter, "Then 1t will be case o.
asphyxia." Equally good was his sugges
tion, on seeing the figure of Neptune in st
Paul's Cathedral, that the only Christianit!
it had to do with would be "Tridentine." Or
a students stumbling vaguely through al
answer In class, he is said to have addressed
him with the words, Really, sir, If you can
not be definite, you had better be dumb l,
it." But, best of all, for neatness and brew
ity, was his remark on the appearance of
candidate having for Christian names "Fielt
Flowers" THAT man." said Mansel, "wa
he was neither, and is said to be now q colo
nial bishop.-London Inquirer.