The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1889-04-17
SNUPS FAIR CAPTIVES.
TWo 1AlpENs WHO WANTED TO
SEE LlFE's eILpED SIDE.

earths Nothing Outrageous"
One sloppy morning, several weeks ago,
two young women living on tho Hill met at
the home OF ono of them for the purpose of
dissecting their fellow men and women, COM
pairing notes and exchanging experiences, and
In due time made mutual discovery that life
in St. Paul was decidedly fiat and stale, il not
altogether Improbable.
"Now, in New York; yawned Marion,
YEARLY, when society begins to pail, the
girls 60 Summing and do nice things like
that" Marion is a blonde, and looks as IL
her spirit walked only in the sunlight of
angels wings. But here the most exciting
3ing we ever do is to give masquerade,
which makes us a lot Of worry and work and
expense, and when it Is over we find we have
only succeeded in making ourselves perfectly
hideous by misguided selection of costume,
and have had nothing but a dancing party
after all.n
Msude thought they ought to be able to dc
wise something that would have at least a
grain OF spice "What do you say to going
to the dime museumF she said abruptly.
There might be something In it.
"There isl exclaimed Maude triumphantly,
land it's Human Balloon read 10 in
the morning paper"
II suppose he would have a few clothes
ont" remarked Marion doubtfully.
"Oh, Of course; tights anyway. Let's go. '
And so it happened that tho two daring
young ladies concealed their aristocratic fea-
lures behind thick wells, and trusting their
lives to the integrity of the cable las the first
step In their reckless adventure, perhaps),
came down by the common route and sneal1ed
AYE, verify, sneaked into the dime museum.
"Heavensl What smells so2" gasped Ma
rion at the top of the stairs.
Its the aroma of novelty, machere. You
may change you may alter the house IL you
will, but the scent of the freak win cling
round II still.n
''That sounds as IL you had been here be
fore" and Marion cast an eye Of suspicion
upon her friend.
well, / haven't, but went into side
show once at n circus Marion Hilltop SHE
whispered, grasping that young woman's arm
with a black-and-blue clutch, st actually be
lieve that man is In his skinp
s'Nonsensei Let go my arm It's pinl
silk, and not much of a fit either; but 1t doe
look little like skin at first.n
Tho human balloon rose and spoke his little
piece; then drawing prolonged inspiration
he expanded his chest and stomach until hi
body was more than twice the original size
held IL "a moment, and with slow expira
tion gradually decreased TO his normal pro
portions.
''It makes mo Sick" declared Marion
II believe it's trick rejoined Maude
'I1l bet anything it's some kind OF rubber
arrangement that be blows up some way
with air. Lots look at tho Monkeys
Thanks; / meet too many English ape
capering around In society to find anything
amusing in the African Species Maude, wha
do you suppose tho men are looking a
through those round holes over there on tn
sideT'
"Well, I've been watching, and there hnsn'
a single woman gone over yet. expect IT,
something pretty bad Would you dare look
Merclful goodnesst Is the place on hrea'
nE Sq arF %2n u RyEsSass ne
jaw. "It's tho crowd a-rushin' down 10 Sc
the seaIs."
THEY TAKE IN THE SHOW
Tho two girls, determined to SEQ 10 all, fol
lowed the unsavory throng, and to this da.
the possible impropriety that hid beyond tina
row Of bulls eye holes remains tantalizini
mystery to them. The performance OF traines
seals they found really interesting. TIL
Juvenile seal was quite as kittenish as Tn
stage juvenile always Is; the topical SOM
seal sang the usual number OF verses VIII
the traditional lack of voice, and received tn
Same old encores; hefunny business bore tn
authoritative stamp of ripe old age, and on TIN
whole the entertainment was just as wei
worth seeing as two-thirds of the combina
lions nut upon the regular boards, and had
decided advantage over tho latter IN that tn
performers were seals and not persons
II didn't see any fur on them that iooke'
like my sealskln coat" commented Marion
the curtain fell. 49,
Perhaps they've shed their coats thin
I've read that some animals DO shed their out
slde SKIN when they gec IN warmer GU
mate"
NO, think you're wrong, Mnuae, apou
that But perhaps the rnr grows ON the II
side. lshouidnt wonder II ~ qua, because
itwns on tho outside It would got SO stuc
with leo crawling around on icepergs
HOW do you know they DOR mterrupte
Maude.
Because, don't you remember, the plctur
In our biographies always represented sea
as summing themselves on icebergsF
az me 1901 OF tne sthirs lney louha = ma
seihng uckets Ior q hrsc cinss .neatricai pc
iormance ny inc Engiisn Noveity compan
OF celebrated artists; gentleman VIII pleas
remove Their hats.
"A variety snow, whispered Murio'
"rye always been dying TO go TO one.
guess we won't buy reserved seals, BUT stan
BACK mere: we may nave 10 leave,
anu variety snow ~ was ou ~, u,s S'',',
y lree from any lnnpropr,e'y. iney iou ~
y suniclentiy in.eresung 70 Islilain " "
close, ai.nousn colsiuelhp'y isapi'on'eu n,
tne absences OF anytnins se''sas ~ -
vocni's.s nun pe'.er Voices 'nai, s,'o nso' ~
sings, ~ nls' ciass pur,es.lue' a,au "eio ~
tulnei rA.ner more ll''slspeiy ,nv JOKES,
soniewnae inoss Browh' VERY =. isuse ~. ~
pcasanAy sugges''ve, ~" no speo .,''..
lM.1s.. ~ 49, en- s.,,., ,.,aai,,rar5 =.