Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1889-11-21

1 A>o" ny VIC SduIC tOhch, w hd
confidentially expect Mr.. Harrison to
write a book about -Four Years
Enough" 1t should be, and may be
written -Four Years Too Much" but
he is hardly such a Frank man as to
allow himself to dothat. Providential
economy got out of joint one season and
slipped fuur-year slice off onto his
plate. And he may be trusted to write
genius of the white hat did about W hat
he should not have had. For 'front.'
ispiece there should ba large steel
mot steaD engraving showing up the
hired man, Tanner, hauling the manure
out on a wagon, even the wheels of
which were silver dollars, to enrich
what promised to be hot-bed of vot-
ers. There should be another wood
cut, displaying Tanner and his wagon
when they fell in the ditch, and how,
for want of enrichment, the blooming
votes in the hot-beds
Whithered away on the very day
| Before election,
And Boss Malone not all alone
In the gang showed under.
| And it generally allowed, that the whole
blasted crowd
Were not in the soup-but something far
better.
Now.in foot note, the author should
explain that this calamity was occa-
stoned by fatal desire to cultivate the
G. A. R.-to force it, as gardeners say,
and in the first year of his reign on
that farm. "Oh yes" ne should say,
''the U. S. is great farm, and has
many rich corners where friends and
relatives may be put in to till the soil
It'll politicians laugh and grow fat"
Perhaps the man who is reading this
is Republican, and perhaps he has
seen a steer so obstinate that it would
stand at the corn trough for months
and get scarcely fatter while some mis-
cradle old hog would travel right
around behind it and grow fat. Well,
if that Republican is as good farmer
as used to be he will see the point.
| And in his coming book Mr.. Harrison
will warn the rising generation of po-
litical far mers against standing at the
crib while Blaine aud the boys do the
getting fat.
have promised that Harrison will
write this book "F. Y. E." And there
are a good many str avs that point me
in my course. He has followed the ex-
ample of one elegant Democrat-Mr.
Cleveland. He seems to have had a
blank printed by the history of Growers
administra ton, and to hav e done moth
ing but to fill in different names.
When he has ventured to do anything
original, there has been trouble. Could
Grover be president eight years more,
and Benjamin his apprentice, the latter
could learn the trade we'll enough to
do the work until some issue sprung to
need something new. And as he is
patterning after Grover, why shouldn't
he pattern after the good old Democrat
of the Tribune. In one way it is quite
certain he will. Greeley wanted the
Presidency, Topped oyer, fought for it,
didn't get it, and died. Harrison did
get ard will ie-politically-the only
only difference is as between "did" and
didn't" or before taking and after
taking. Poor old Horace! Poor old
Ben!
Since 1 wrote the above, I discoursed
with Jew, Mr.. Benjamin Isaacs, who
saw fine business opportunity in it.
"Why don't Mr.. Harrison get his
book out right away. Pretty soon his
relations will all have JOBS, and then
he will have nothing to do. His secre-
taries can do it all. And he could send
100 or 500 of his books to each congress-
man; each of them has that many ap-
plicants for positions, and of course q
man needn't be any book agent to sell
one or more to candidate. And he
could insist on each postmaster taking
a book. Why, he has chance of
life time, and in three years he Willie
out of work, aud his books won't be
worth anything. He'd better write
poor book now and sell it, than to
write good one when he quits being
President and be not able to give it
away-nothing like forcing sales.
The only difference between fib and
fable is that the latter is some good
and no harm, while the former is all
harm and no good. Here's fable:
A farmer had bit of land that was
mighty good soil. but it was too wet.
He kept sowing wheat and wheat and
wheat, and getting a mediocre crop.
He had always believed the ground
was too dry, despite the plain evidence
to the contrary. So one season be had
it flooded. But his pet scheme turned
out just as common sense would have
told hint turned out almost no
wheat. So that man laid aside his
stubbornness and drained the ground
10! next year he had to reap a good