The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1889-05-01
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
.ular Observation-Disclosures.

Regular 'healers"
A cable road-The bed of the Atlantic.
The ''beefy" nobleman-Sir Loin
Steak.
A woman should never wear ruttle on
her temper.
Always work with good prospects
Missionaries.
Never take cold at their work
Draughtsmen.
Not conspicuously full of cracks
Rented houses
1t is conceded that a fiddler is up to
his chin in business.
care you through with your lungsn
asked the cigarette of the youth.
1t may sound somewhat contradictory,
but the first thing in boot is the last.
''Why is the letter S like sewing
machine" because it makes needles
needless"
st. Louis boasts of dwarf barber less
than four feet high. He must be little
shaver. .-StdteomIR.
Practical jokers are very Improbable
lot. They never buy their business is
to sell. .-Roche5te1 Post.
The greatest weather profit of this sea-
son is the money saved by young men
who didn't go sleigh-riding.
Cholly-"I always sleep WELL" Miss
Snyder-"So should Judge. You never
seem more than half awake. "-Ne,o York
Sun.
Upper-Ten Child-"My papa is
abroad. Is yours2" LowerTen Child
"Yep. Mine is at large ag'in. ."--Meo
YOr5 Weekly.
The setting sun is a very warm affair,
but for really hot heat commend us to
the setting hen when she gets wet
Commercial Ad0ertiser.
Bjones-'T hear De Carr gave Miss
Rapidde pound of caramels with his
love" Merritt-"Yes; he told me she
accepted the caramels. "-Nst0 York SIN.
The early bird is quite as apt to catch
the malaria as the worm; the moral of
which seems to be that previousness N
a vicious sort of virtue after ALL
Commercial A3certiser.
Scientist Gn restaurant)-"Bring me
a decoction of burnt peas, sweetened
with glucose and lightened with chalk
and water" Waiter Yociferously)-
COG Iur Nor tm9.
First Bohemian (pensively, over hia.
logwood and water) After all, deaf
boy, life is dream" SECOND Bohemian
--"Yes; and the trouble is we only gek,
the nightmare part of it,"
Mrs Upperten-"Well, Jane, l am
sorry you have de ided to leave me; but
if you are going to better yourself, of
course" Jane-'It isn't that, ma'am;
l am going to get married."
A writer in the World re ommends
that executions by means of electricity
be called characterization. What's
the use of adding unnecessary terrors to
the thing -BiRghamtOa Republican.
If you have a toothache have your
tooth pulled, but do not think it neces-
sary or even right to attempt to cure an
earache by having your car pulled.
What is one mans meat is another's
poison. Commercial Advertiser.
Said great admirer of the preacher
his church had dismissed: "That was
fine sermon, and we'll timed, too"
"Yes," replied the Clergyman, sit was
certainly well timed. About half the
congregation had their watches out most
of the time was talking"
Teacher geography class -"Yery
good. Now, children, tomorrow you
must all bring small bottles of sweet oil
with YOU" Head Girl-"What are they
for9' ''To lubricate your jaws, my
dear. We are to begin on the lakes of
Maine. "-IhAadelpha Record.
Of all editorial writers, Horace
Greeley was most noted for illegible
copy. On one occasion the ''modern
Franklin" penned something about
suburban journalism advancing" but
the typesetter, thinking it one Of his
famous agricultural articles, launched
out wildly with the words; "Superb
Jerusalem artichokes. .n-EP0eh.