The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1889-10-12
CRANK PHOTOGRAPHS.


q private gallery, all the pictures in
which are originals. Such collection
is not to be found elsewhere in the
country. 1t il being added to all the
while, and would soon become too large
for the cramped quarters but for the
fact that now and then it is cleared out
and the old pictures disposed OF. 1t is
gallery OF crank photographs and
other productions of crank art. A
picture came in to-day. 1t was u pho
tograph of foreigner-an Italian. His
head is thrown back so as to bring the
focus OF the camera upon his mus
tache and imperial, which are prodig-
iously long and black and curled after
the manner of corkscrew. The eyes
show insanity. and it is this hair about
his face that furnishes the special OBJ
ject Of his raving. The picture is sent
with compliments to the President, that
he may have ''the divine pleasure" of
looking at the handsomest man in the
world.
Another photograph Of the collection
represents a mild-eyed man with long
hair hanging to his shoulders and UNI
trimmed whiskers that cover his face,
except the eyes and nose. The mild
eyes have a far-off look, as if contem-
plating something in another world
two or three centuries ahead. 1t might
be the '.sun-shadow" of some adept in
theosophy or true Mahatma. Under
the face are printed in white letters,
''The Coming Man OF the Age" 1t is
the face of man whose soul has
become fimsy from stretching itself
out in foreign travel while the body
remained at home. 1t is a bunch Of
bushy hair and a pair of vacant. far
of, and amiable eyes. The original
thought the President might want to
know what the man of the millennium
is going to be like, SO this is added to
the cranks' gallery.
There is the man who is the ''most
wonderful scientist in the world" He
has discovered that heat is life; that
the sun gives life to the world; that
warmth in the body is a sign of life,
and that death is stiff and cold. He
has heard also that there are many ice
bergs in the far northern and southern
seas. From this he has come to the
conclusion that the end of the world 10
not 10 be by fire. The destruction is
to be by ice. The cold is to freeze out
all life, and the great ice mountains
are to ''hoat up against the world"
and smash it into smithereens. as ships
are sometimes smashed. He finds very
cold comfort in the contemplation of
the future, unless something is done to
destroy the icebergs. He thinks that
possibly they might all be blown up by
the free use of dynamite. He so adj
vises the President. That the Chief
Executive may not be skeptical, and
may know what this scientist looks
like, and at the same time how he
works, he has sent his picture ''in
action" With becoming idea of the
fitness of things-that scientists
and students surroundings should be
simple-he has had himself reproduced
on cardboard seated on an empty
candle box in an attic, with barrel
head for a table, piece Of straw mat
ting for tablecloth, and tallow
candle stuck in a bottle for light. His
bald and intellectual brow runs out OF
sight over the top Of his head. On
the barrel before him is unrolled a
mysterious scroll, sheets of paper are
scattered about the floor and piled in
his hat, which lies at his feet. In one
hand he holds quill pen and in the
other some sheets Of legal cap or parch-
ment
These are sample pictures from the
White House Crank Gallery. Hun
dreds OF them are sent to the President.
Every mail brings them in. Some of
them are photographs OF candidates
who want Office and think it cheaper
to send their pictures than to come in
person. They want to impress the
Chief Executive. One of these repre-
rcsents man of about forty. with a
grand air" about him. On the card
Is inscribed, with evident seriousness,
Yours with beeeming dignity" etc.
He wants to enter the diplomatic serv-
ice and impress foreigners into proper
appreciation of the dignity of this
country.
Besides these pictures, numerous
badges. certificates OF this and that sort
OF society, engrossed resolutions in
frames. and cards without number are
sent to the White House.
Not to give false impression must
state that the President does not treas
urc these tokens" that are bestowed
upon him so profusely. He has no
cabinet for the photographs nor room
set aside for the collection. They are
an accaaxu III tim xafhar fhan n aollao-