davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
BRIGHT BITS.

A NEVADA man who had seven homely daugh-
tiers got paper to hint that he had seven kegs
filled with gold in his cellar, and every girl was
married in five months.-IeIGS SDtings.
II ADMIRE that man Smith, " said Squire Close
fist at the club even II he is fraud. he
managed to borrow $40 from me the other day,
| and admire him for it. "-Hdrper's Bdzdr.
SCIENTIST lin restaurant)- Bring me decoc-
tion of burnt peas sweetened with glucose and
lghtened with chalk and water.
Waiter (vociferously)-Coffyf fer one-7fn,e.
H. "TBEY will pay for my joke on publication, =
Rroaned Crabley. as he dropped the editor
| note to the floor
Great Scott. wanted that money for a
| board bill, not a tombstone!'-Puck.
sHE-A penny for your thoughts, Mr.. Bash
| full
He-I was meditating about tree
Shea tree?
He-Yes, yew.
The marriage later.-LieS.
FIRST DIAMOND DEALER How many carats
did you sell to-day. Bob?
Second Deaer-About ninety.
Farmer Corncob lin amazement)- GOSH This
must be poor market daytime.
WIFE Coming home from church)-Mr. Good
man is certainly a remarkable man.
Husband-Why do you think SO?
Wife-Because he only returned from Europe
last week and he didn't begin his sermon with
| the remark, when was in so-and-so. THE
Epoch.
OLD MRS BENTLY-Did ye hear how Deacon
Brown is gittin' on?
Old Mr.'Benty-I heerd he took a relapse this
mornin.
Old Mrs. Bently with "a sigh)-Wen | hope
it'll do the poor soul good, but ] hain't much
faith in them newfangled medicines.-EDoch.
Mas. PEMMICAN-Now, since I've given you
something to eat you can take this shovel and
clean the snow Off my sidewalk.
CHILDE NITTLEs "a trampl-Beg parding,
ma am; but | see that shovel was made by a
the dignity Of labor won't permit me to handle
it.-Pttck.
HENDERSON (rising to go, after talking in
didn think it was SO late | have enjoyed the
evening immensely.
Miss Frankey-O, thank you. Mr. Henderson;
but then, it don't make any difference where
you go, you are always sure of enjoying your
self.Boston Transcript.
MRS. RANsoM-Wasn't that a mean article the
Bugie published yesterday about Mr. Savage?
Mrs Savage-Yes, indeed; no foundation at
all for it,
Mrs. Ransom-Mr. Savage told Mr. Ransom
last night that he was going to see the editor
about it. Has he been yet?
Mrs. Savage-I guess SO; | just received a
note from John at Belevue.-Judge.
IT was Bilkns' wedding day, and he was teas
ing his ''kid' brother-in-law.
well Johnnie he said, solemnly, 'Tm
going to take your sister away off and have
her all to myself, where you won't see her any
more"
mo! Really, are your" said the kid" curl
ouslyi
YES am. What do you think of it,"
"Nothn'; guess l can stand it if you can. ~
Washington Critic.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
A SISTER TO HIM.
A Compact Which the Girl Did No
Keep.
From Peck's Sun.

From Pecl;'s Sun.
mo, Mr.. Jackson, | cannot be your wife, as
my heart is already in the keeping of another
but can be sister to you"
OH it's hard to thus be obliged to give you
up, Maud, and still your very generous offer tc
be as a sister to me cannot go unaccepted. viii
you be as near real sister to me as possible?'
Yes, George, shall endeavor to.
There is Jack Fourinhands sister, for in
stance. Will you be as loving and attentive to
me as she is to him.
with all my heart, George"
Very well then, sister mine, | shall try to be
worthy-ah, really must be going though
good nj hit, sister, The next day Miss Maud
received package, and upon opening it dis
covered that it contaned-horrors- pairs Of
pants six pairs OF socks and a shirt. A nots
slipped out, and upon reading it this is what
she saw:
DEAR SISTER MAUD ascertained from Jack
Fourinhald that his sister was is the habit of
doing all OF his mending. Thinking Of our
agreement, bethought me Of these few articles
Of wearing apparel, which are sadly in need of
buttons and mending. l have long needed a
sister that would look after my clothes, and
since you have so kindly consented to act in that
capacity you may commence your duties at
once. Your loving brother, GEORGE.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
Carpet-BaeRers to the Rear.

The southern republicans appear to be
pretty well represented among the
ofdce-seekers in Washington. In the spe-
cial dispatches they are mentioned quite as
frequently as the northern office-seekers.
There is an indication that in the distribu-
ton of patronage in the south the carpet
baggers will not have as much influence as
they had under previous republican ad-
ministrations. There are now compare
lively few carpet-baggers, but they
are very active. Kellogg and Pinch
back of Louisiana, are trying
to control the patronage of that
state, but they are not meeting with much
success. The administration is rather dis
posed to look for advice to Representative
Coleman, who was elected as an independ-
emit from the Second Louisiana district last
fall. The republicans elected him, and be
announces that he will act with them in
future. He Is making an effort to have the
federal offices in Louisiana given to con-
sentative republicans, who have not been
active in Louisiana politics. He has
asked for the appointment of
Cyrus Bussey, of New Orleans, to the
position of Assistant Secretary of the In
terror, and the probabilities are that his re-
quest will be granted notwithstanding the
opposition Of Kellogg and Pinchback. Bus
sey was at one time leading merchant of
New Orleans and president Of its chamber
of commerce. He made fortune in 1879
in cotton futures, but it appears to have
slipped away from him. Representative
Coleman was also president of the New Or
leans chamber Of commerce. Although
his change of politics has not raised him in
the estimation of the leading citizens of
New Orleans, nevertheless he is respected
by them as a man Of integrity and ability,
and the people Of Louisiana would be bet
ter satisfied if he were recognized as the
dictator Of the Louisiana appointments
than il Kellogg, or Pinchback, or any other
republican who was connected with the
carpet-bag era were to occupy that position
In this state there seems to be some doubt
yet whether Mr.. Buck or Gen. Longstreet
will be the republican boss. The question
doubtless will be decided within few DAYS.
The first Georgia appointments will indi-
cate pretty clearly which of them is in
favor.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
Consolation for Bald Heads

II. C. Dodge an Ne0 York World.
head that's bald does not imply
That he who owns it must be old;
For instance look at William Nye,
Whose youth and beauty are extolled.
Oh, MOI 1t is no sign of age,
For babies SO are often born;
In countries too, the handsome stage
Is only reached when heads are shorn.
Bald heads may come from air-tight hats
We slaves of fashion have to wear,
Or from those matrimonial spats
When lady fingers clutch the hair.
Or from the stiff and starchy shirt
Jerked on and off four times day,
Which makes friction that must hurt
And wear AMI tear the hair away.
Then BARRIERS Whom you can't resist),
Alive to "blZ,' shampoo you well
And rub the hair off ere it's missed
So hair reviewers they can sell
Reclining in high backed chair
Or sleeping on too short bed
Without nightcap Scrapes the hair
And puts polish on the head.
Red-headed men are never bald,
Nor dudes nor idiots you know,
Nor women wearing hats -so-called-
AS big as waters for a show.
But men of brains who have to scratch
Ideas from out their teeming pates
Unconsciously rub off the thatch
That nature needlessly creates.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
He Went to the War.

When Charles Dudley Warner, says the
March Book Buyer, was the editor of the Hart
ford, Comm Press, back in the sixties >
arousing the patriotism OF the state with his
vigorous appeals. one Of the typesetters came
in from the composing room, and pla, ting him
ner, I've decided to enlist in the army" With
mingled sensations of pride aud responsibility
Mr. Warner replied encouragingly that he was
glad TO see the man felt the call of duty. oh
IL isn't that said the truthful compositor,
but I'd rather be shot than try TO set any
re of your BANKED copy" Thus we see ROT
only that men had different motives for going
TO the war, but also that ones unconscious in.
huence is sometimes stronger than his formal
effort. We also get an idea of MIR. Warmers
handwriting rather different from that sug.
gested by his autograph. The fact is that he Is
such quick and nervous writer that it is not
possible for his pen to take legible course and
keep up with the flow of his ideas and so long
as there is no war for the compositors to flee to,
the world is enabled eventually to read what he
has written.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
GOV. BUCKNER's RICHES.
Row He Lost Them in the War and
How They Came Back to Him Again.
From the Ne,o York Sun.

From the Ne,c York Sum-
LOUISVILLE, March 9.-Did the readers of the
Sun ever hear how Gen. Simon Bolivar Buck
ner, present governor of Kentucky, lost and
won his fortune? 1t is one of the most remark
able of real romances.
Gov. Buckner's first wife was a Miss Kings
berry, a very beautiful and accomplished
woman. She inherited large fortune and at
the time of her marriage was considered the
wealthiest heress in the south Her estate
was.valued at $50O,0 900. Through fortunate in
vestmentS and ludiciouS management Gen.
Buckner largely increased this amount.
At the opening of the war Gen. Buckner went
with the south. Most of his Wife's property
was in northern cities principally in Chicago.
When he joined the confederacy he feared that
all this would be cOnfiscated by the union gov
ernment After much thought it was decided
10 save the whole of it by deciding it TO Mrs.
strongly sympathIzed with the north. This was
done, and Gen. Buckner took command of a
division of the southern army.
Young Kingsberry had become a gallant
soldier with the federals. One day as he was
going into battle he said he had a premonition
of death Remembering the trust the Buckners
had imposed upon him, he told the story to a
brother officer and wrote an account of the
conveyance of the large estate upon a slip of
paper. He requested his companion in arms to
put it away, and in case of accident to send it
or deliver it to the Buckner family when oppor
tunity presented itself after the war. The
Young officer complied with the request. The
battle came on and Kingsberry was among the
slain.
The war ended and Kingsberry's friend went
to Europe The rush of incidents had caused
him to forget all about the paper. He did not
return to America for several years Shortly
after his return he was in Washington and met
Gen. Burnside, whom he had known during the
war. He inquired of the general concerning the
Buckners of Kentucky. Gen Burnside told him
how Gen. Buckner had made over his property
to his brother in-aw Kngsberry, who had been
I'D in hnft Ibn nnfVy had AAa,.
verified to young Kingsberry's heirs, will
or memorandum of the transfer had been
found.
but there is memorandum exclaimed the
young officer and have it, too"
The next day after the dinner party he started
out to find the document, of which he had not
before thought since the death of young Kings
berry. After long search he found the paper.
and a tedious and costly lawsuit was ended, for
it clearly establishes Gen. Buckners right to a
great property, the larger part of which con-
sists Of Office bu dings in the heart of Chicago,
from which he receives a rental of $4,000 a
year.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
NDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEErNes-Golden Rule Lodge No. IL, l. o.
OF; Magnolia Encampment No. l, 1. o. o. F 4;
The Jasperville Land and improvement Com
peny; Georgia Chapter No. g. r A. NJ; Pulaski
Loan Association; The Merchants and Ne
chanics' Loan Association; Young Mems
Hebrew Association.
SPECIAL Decentralization, Good Livers,
Il. Logan, City Market.
AUCTION SALEs-Piano, Buggy, Etc, by l. D.
IARoche & Son.
LoTTERIEs-Louisiana State Lottery; Lottery
Of the Public Charity.
STEAMSHIP SCHEDUIE-General Transatlantic
Company.
FREE, FRKE!-Catalogue of Fruitland Nur-
series, P. J. Berckmans, Augusta, Ga.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS - Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
Mrs. Cleveland Criticised by a Woman.

From the PhilGdelDhid Press
Here is one of the most interesting descrip.
tions of Mrs. Cleveland that has been written.
and 1t is from private letter of a Philadelphia
woman in Washington:
Mrs. Cleveland will carry just one manner
ism from the white house-a nervous biting of
the lips. 1t is the one bad effect of three
years tyranny of set rules and conventionali-
ties While receiving Mrs. Cleveland has al
ways drawn back a little after each caller
passed. moistened her lips. and then stood
ready for the next. Doing this constantly she
finally acquired the habit or biting the under
lip little to hide any nervousness. Able to
control every muscle and appear a woman of
superb repose, this little muscle of the mouth
has conquered her. ana Of late it has expressed
every feeling, nervl usness, WEAKNESS and
physical pain. When she is n receiving or
talking her face is a study that has something
pathetic about It, Very white. with a few lines
that mark the tyranny of the kindly smile that
has not failed the poorest one who sought it. a
shade, just little shade of a queled ambition
and the nervous biting of the lips. Then as
she catches an eye looking at her, or some one
speaks, her face lights up and CLOVIS with its
own irresistible beauty. Mrs Cleveland knows
of this little trick of the lips that mars her
beauty, and only waits for rest to break herself
OF Ii. -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13

The MoRNISG NEWS IS on file at the following
rlaces. where Advertising Rates and other III
formation regarding the paper can be ootained
NEW YORK CITY
III BATES, SO Park Row.
O. p. RowELL & Co., 10 Spruce street.
W. W. SHARP & Co., u Park Row.
FRANZ KIrRSAN & Co, 1852 Broadway.
DAucHY & Co., a Park Place.
j W. THOMPSON, 80 Park Row.
JoHN F. PHILLIPS & Co, % Park Row.
AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION
104 Temple Court.
PHILADELPHIA
n W. AVER & Son, Times Building.
BOSTON
SR. NILES, 256 Washington street.
pFTTrNG1LL & Co., 10 State street.
CHICAGO
IoRp & THOMAS, Is Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
Tpw1N ALDEN COMPANY, &C West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN
TIM 81. P HUBBARD COMPANY, o Elm street.
ST. LOUIS
NELSON CHEsMAx & Co., 1927 Pine street.
ATLANTA
MoRx1NG NEWS BUREAU, So Whitehall street
MACON
DAILY TELEeRAPH OFFICE, 597 Mulberry street.
JACKSONVILLE
MoRNING News BUREAU, Hubbard's Block.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
A Swell.
From The Boston co,,rie,

A small boy was calling the other dRy on one
of his school friends. and fell into conversation
with the mother of the latter. He was led e
remark that II was getting very hard TO tel
from the places in which people live whether
they are entitled to social consideration or not
OF course this is not the way in which he nut
IL. but this is what it came to-
Now, there is Blank street" he said. lyon
wouldn't think anybody that lives on Blank
street was much, would your But there's Mr.
T., he lives there"
And is Mr.. 7. much?' she asked, not unwill
ing 20 draw him out.
Mr. I. - he repeated, with the air OF one who
Is overwhelmed with astonishment that SO oh
vious a fact should have escaped the knowledge
OF ANYBODY should think he was! He's
an awful swell Why he won't speak to nv
father ~
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13

1t is thought that Mr.. Quincy E. Brown
ing will be nominated by the democrats of
the Nineteenth Illinois district to fill the
vacancy caused by the death of Congress
man Townshend. Mr.. Browning is com
paratively young man, and his abilities are
of high order. He is very popular in the
district. Mr.. Townshend's plurality in the
last election was about 1890, and nobody
seems to doubt that his successor will be
democrat
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13

MIR. Henry George has gone to England,
but his lawyer in Trenton, N. j., is still
trying to get the money left by the late Mr.
Hutchins to help disseminate the George
doctrine. The sum was 5000. The heirs
of Mr.. Hutchins contested the will, and Mr..
George, it is said, offered TO compromise by
allowing the money to go to Mrs. Hutchins.
The heirs refused, and the case will be tried
this week If Mr.. George should get the
money, probably he would conclude that
the best way to carry out his anti-poverty
ideas would be TO lay it up where it would
bring The biggest interest
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13

The Rev. Isaac w. Bagley, of Camden,
n. j., is a fighting parson." The other
day he married couple, and shortly after
ward the brother of the groom called on
him and abused him roundly. The reverend
gentleman did not LET his religion stand in
his wayne sailed into the young man and
gave him such a thrashing as probably he
had long needed. One of these fighting
preachers is met every now and then, and
on such occasions it is well for people to be
particular concerning their words and &C
lions
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13

1t is understood in Washington that an
earnest endeavor will be made to carry
Maryland for the republicans, and that the
influence of the administration will be given
to it. Senator German will probably have
something to say about this, and probably
Mr.. Higgins will too. Maryland is hardly
ready TO go over to the enemy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
Car Coupling Legislation.

From the PHILADELPHIA Record lDenl.)
Over 5000 persons lost their lives last yeal
through the use Of the link coupler on railroads
yet this primitive and dangerous device still
menaces the lives of railroad employees. A con
ference of state railroad commissioners and in
terstate commerce commissioners recently
adopted resolution calling upon congress TO
enact a law requiring the most approved meth
DDS Of coupling to be used instead of the link
and pin The instincts of our common human
ity should long ago have made legislation on
this subject unnecessary.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
Mr.. Manamaker,s Policy.

| In our dispatches yesterday the statement
was made that clerk Of the postoffice de-
partment offered his resignation to the Post
master General the other day. and that he
was told by that official to return to his
/ desk and attend to his duties. The clerk,
/ being a democrat, thought his place would
be wanted for a republican, and he did not
intend to wait to be asked for his resigna-
ton. 1t is reported that the Postmaster
General said. in referring to the offer Of
this clerk to resign, that he did not contem-
plate making removals except for cause,
! but that he should not hesitate to remove
those who failed, through neglect or lack of
ability, to discharge the duties Of their posi-
tions satisfactorily.
If this is the policy which the Postmaster
General intends to pursue it will be popu-
lar one. The people want a good mail
service. If they have that they won't 20
to the trouble of inquiring whether the
employees of the service are democrats or
republicans.
Let the Postmaster General make thor
cugh inquiry into every branch of the
service and fad out who the incompetent
anu VI Jblooo al anu 1o tiS ne
finds them let him dismiss them. There are
many in the service who ought not to be
there. The people in this section of the
country have suffered great deal from
bad mail service, and they are quite willing
that any steps shall be taken which promise
to improve the service
The number of the employees of the mail
service is quite large, and it will require a
long time to sift the good material from the
bad. 1t can be done, however, and the
sooner it is done the higher the estimation
will be in which the Postmaster General
is held by the people. Competent men
are not obtained so easily that the Post.
master General can afford to dismiss any of
those now in the mail service, whether they
are democrats or republicans. The demo-
cratic as well as the republican, press will
sustain him in getting rid of inefficient men,
and if he discharges all who are inefficient
there will be vacancies enough for a small
army Of the friends of the administration.
In making appointments, however, care
should be taken to give places only to those
who give promises of being faithful and
competent.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13

The rumor has been circulated again that
Gov. Hill is going to get married. The
governor, however, doesn't intend that it
shall travel alone, SO he has sent along with
it plain denial. Possibly he won't marry
until he needs mistress for the white
housa
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13

Rev. Madison Peters, of Philadelphia,
preached on the suicidal mania last Sun
day. He said that during the last twenty
five years, sixty-one people day had COM
mitted suicide. and be was inclined to think
that most Of them were women. He said:
Hundreds Of women every year seek rest
in the suicides grave from unhappiness in
their homes. With man. marriage may be
an episode; with woman, it is her very life
There is life worth living without wealth
and display
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
Registered at the Post once in saoon~ah-


,Aa go and Is seryed TO subscribers IN tie city
At Is cents a week, 81 90 a month, $50 for six
months and $40 90 for one year. ..
The MoRNINo news, By mail one n el IN,
NJ 90: three months, $2 50; six months, - w
one year, $40 90. , ~ ,i-,a,
week without Sunday issuel three % months
90 61. six months, s. 90; one year s. %
$rSs MopTtSa EEvs. Tri Weekly, Mondays,
wednesday, and Fridays, or Tuesday,; Thurs
Ssys and SATURDAYS. three months, 81 =; six
ng TS S,SDty News bv mail one year. g 90.
me WEEKLY NEWS, b. mail one year, u o.
anbscriprions payable in advance. Remit by
postal order, check or registered letter Gu
snencv sent bv mRil at risk OF senders.
Tef+ers ana kilograms should be addressed
"NoRNIEe NEWS, " Savannah, Ga
Advertising rates made known on application
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
Plain Grover Cleveland.
From the Boston Globe (Dem.l

From the Boston Globe (DeDl.)
1t is not too much to say that no President of
the United States was ever so averse to making
a show of himself as Grover Cleveland. The
servant of 10000 900 people goes bachto private
life and to work as though nothing had hap
pened. Such uncommon manliness will find its
due recognition in the calm pages of history,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
CURRENT COMMENT.
It Nav Be Whitney.

From the NGshUile american tDep'.)
Gov. Hill will fade good deal between now
and 1892 and his proportions Will shrink TO much
smaller dimensions. And in the meantime
certain young, able and popular democrat by
the name of W @. whitney may be remem-
bered as a very possible possibility for 1892
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13

Mr.. Russell Harrison appears to be a big
ger man than Private Secretary Halford,
notwithstanding he isn't whistler. This
shows that people need not learn to whistle
well in order to become great.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13

Mr.. Blaine having declared in favor of an
extra session of congress, good many re-
publican organs are urging President Har-
rison to call one in May. When Mr.. Blaine
takes snuff, republicans all over the country
aneaza
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-03-13
Rough on Harrison.

From, The Ve,o York World (Dena)
There is no Guessing over the fact that Mr..
Wanamaker was given q cabinet office as the
spolls purveyor of Boss Quay and as reward
for his services in raising an enormous corrup-
ton fund. And it is the most scandalous Off
cial appointment recorded in American history.