davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
opp FACTS AND. FIGURES.

The national bank depositors now hold
$35, ,625, ,433 Of Government deposits
Last year Louisiana produced 450, 00c, 90
feet Of lumber, an increase of 500 per cent.
since 1880.
Exports Of provisions from the four At
lantic ports last week aggregated Is, ,775, 1873
pounds against 10, 752, 1858 pounds the oorre-
spending week in 1887.
The latest official returns show that there
are in Great Britain, out Of population OF
less than $4,000, 900, 1895, ,922 persons who
receive parish relief--that is to say, frac-
tion more than one person in every thirty
four of the population.
= One of the applications of waste
product,to useful purpose is the manu-
facture Of paper out Of cedar-wood pulp
for underlying carpets, wrapping of wool,
furs, etc. The paper-makers procure the
cedar chips Of pencil manufacturers, and
the paper made Of this material will, 1t is
claimed, preserve articles wrapped in It
from the moths
The walnut that grows in Persia, Asia
Minor and Circassia makes the costlest of
oil cabinet woods. The veneers are cut 10
120th Of an inch In thickness, and some
times as thin as 175 to an ich. The veneers
used on furniture are somewhat thicker,
the thinner ones being used on picture
frames and covering for walls, after being
backed with strong, tough paper.
Anelectrical fire engine, which can be
tapped for service whenever wanted, Is the
latest invention. The advantages claimed
are that 1t can be started at full speed
that II is much lighter than a steam fire
engine of equal power; that it costs onc-third
less; that 1t is noiseless in its operation;
makes no smoke, sparks nor ashes; that II
Is safer and easier to control, and is eco
nomical.
There are used annually in the United
States about 15,0o0,0 900 bushels of wheat In
varions manufactures, such as starch, food
preparations, sizing for cloth and paper;
5O,OO0,OOO bushels are required for seeding
and 2s5 900 bushels for food consump-
tion, which leaves only about 50,OOO, 600
bushels for export. If these averages are
kept up an increase in the wheat area OF
the country is imperatively demanded.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
.ssCusE ME. STRANGER, MY GAL"

1.-THE English are deeply interested in tho
debate over Samoa between the United
States and Germany and are, II is needless
to say, In sympathy with the United States.
it's thought, evidently, that this country
cannot be bulldozed as are European ma
tions, by the overbearing power. The fol-
lowing clever thing in Punch shows the
situation:
What's your little game to-dayS
My gal, Teuton
Oh, yes, know your winning way
With any charmer found astray,
But once again beg to say,
My gal, Teutonl
Your eye is on that sweet young thingY
My gal, Teuton!
Your battery of charms you'd bring,
Your rayther cultural song you'd sing,
R,'t na~.i., vire's underneath my wing,
My gal, Teutonl
What say you to the duslsy pet9
My gal, Teutonl
You peer into her eyes of jet,
You WOO, but you've not won her yet,
My eye is on you, Boss, you bet
4hU sur itu1Oh
You'd clasp her TO your beating heart
Ny gal, Teuton
From her old love you'd have her part.
Wal, Stranger, guess you're ALFRED smart,
But Uncle Sam has got the start.
Ny gal, Teuton
You beam broad Batavian smile,
My gal, Teuton
You fancy here you have struck lie,
But shan't stand with nary rile,
Your bumptious, big European style,
My gal, Teuton
You'd take her home, Boss, in your train
Ny gal, Teuton
My lusty Lochinyar, restrain
Your love Of foreign gals and gain,
Under nIy ycharge she'd best remain,
My gal, Teuton
You think she's nice Boss, real jam?
My gal, Teuton
Wal, Europe follows you like lamb;
That's not the sort of man Tam.
You're here to deal with Uncle Sam,
My gal, Teuton
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
A Pertinent Query.
Columbus, o. Journal,)

The New York Star holds singular
theory as regards the value of large or
small circulation Of newspaper as an adj
vertising medium. II maintains that a
newspaper having large circulation may
be of much less value as such medium than
another OF very limited circulation; and it
instances the Epening Post, whose circula-
tion is 5000, and says: "The value of the
Posts limited circulation lies in the fact
that its aristocratic editors conduct il insuch
a way that II is distributed only In the
families of the wealthy, and they make the
paper, in every department, SO entirely In
nocuous that the strictest of fathers and
mothers permit 1t to lie for days on their
center tables, unopened, without fear OF
communicating their Children The Star
fails TO explain how a paper which lies un-
opened for several days, perhaps never
opened at ALL is valuable advertising
medium, though all its patrons be people
OF wealth.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
PRESIDENTIAL FORTUNES.

Abraham Linqolns fortune was $4,000.
Buchanan possessed 100000.
John Quincy Adams left $4,000.
President Johnson's wealth was estimated
at $4,000
President Polk left Sl50,0O0
President Pierce saved $4,000.
Washington married n rich widow and
left 100000. a..'.
John Adams.was worth about 500, 900.
Millard Fillmore married twice and added
to his wealth each time.
Ex-President Hayes is coming money out
of his chicken farm.
The Garfield family are we'll provided for
by the pension granted by Congress aud the
income of large public fund
Thomas Jefferson died SO poor that II
Congress had not given him $4,000 for his
library he would have been bankrupt,
Van Buren was worth 100000
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
a FOOLISH CIRCULAR.

The advanced champions of labor in
New York have issued circular in
which il Is proposed that traitors of
their organization shall be punished by
having their ears clipped. They dis
claim the right to inflict capital punish
ment, but insist upon mayhem as priv
ilcge. Their idea is that by clipping
= the ears of bribe.takers and secret-dis-
closers Generally, thu whole world will
be able to identify them and that will
be great satisfaction TO the order. 1t
does not seem TO strike these people that
in a fair stand-up fight for labor against
the expressions of capital 1t would be
just as well to have no secrets to betray,
and the individual who chooses to aban-
don the cause should be permitted to go
unscathed. The objects and aims of
The Labor party should be open and
above board, and II it wants the respect
of ordinary intelligence and the sym
pathy OF political economists, itshould
not resort to barbarities and the infrac-
tion Of common laws In this circular
this particular wing of the Labor party
brings itself down to a level with Ku.
Klux and White Caps,
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
A MERE MELANGE.

Telephrase Is announced as the new name
for telephone messages.
A Boston paper speaks Of woman as be-
ing beautifully cngowned."
A man makes his maiden speech when he
asks young girl to marry him.
There is considerable difference between
o key on the soaboard and on the
keyboard.
One police patrol wagon in Boston made
flfty-eight trips during Saturday night re-
Gently.
An Indiana citizen has followed the cx-
ample of Southern man and eloped with
his divorced wife.
Anybody can tell you what to take for
cough. The man who can cure one has
not yet appeared.
Miss Marion Langdon has foot as dainty
ss a fay's, and when tripping in the dance
expresses the very poetry OF motion.
Charles Allen Of Red Bank, N, j., has
long suffered from an oyster thief's work.
A few days ago he shot the thief, seal
weighing 100 pounds. 900
Mrs. Albert Stevens, nee Brady, wears
cloth boots with patent leather trimmings.
Her white satin Shippers look as though
they might belong to Titania.
The English villages are diminishing in
population, owing to the exodous of the
unemployed, who are nocking into towns
at the rate OF 10000 or 10000 year.
The sum total of all the counterfeit
money set anoat last year did not amount
to $4,000, and the ''qneero men were out
OF pocket in their transactions.
Princeton College figures for 1850;
Professors, tutors, ETC., 42; undergraduate
students in the academic department. 489;
graduate students, 90;. total number of stu-
dents and fellows, 667. ,-.
Petitions to increase. the capital stock OF
Massachusetts, corporations seem to be very
much in vogue this winter at the State
! House. The Bell Telephone Company
asks to double its capital, making 1t S2o,-
900, 900.
Many English, women are now wearing o
high opera hat which closes up, like the
convenient, mems '.crush." An immense
amount Of effort has been waited In efforts
to crush down the opera hats Of American
women. (
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
General Harrison's Profile.
PhIladelnhIa Tecord.l

A copy of the latest photograph of Presi-
dent-elect Harrison has been received at
the mint, and will be used in making die
or plate for printing for some future time
upon currency or bank notes. Designer
Charles H. Barker of the mint sent to Gen
eral Harrison some time ago asking for a
picture for this purpose He soon after
ward received one, but objected to 1t be-
cause II was not profile view so the
General sat again, and very fine profile
portrait was obtained. II is said that the
best points of General Harrison's face are
entirely lost in profile portrait.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18


When the Columbia National Bank was
elected president of the bank. At a sub
sequent meeting of the board of directors
the question of the amount Of salary to be
paid the president was under considera-
tion Mr.. Warner arose from his seat at
the head OF the long board table, and, rest
ing his hands ON the green cloth, said In
quiet tone, 'Gentlemen, you viii confer a
favor upon me by not alluding to my salary
yet. l shall not draw cent of salary from
this bank until the deposits In the bauk
amount to one million dollars" The bal
ance statement Of the book-keeper of the
bank next Saturday at the close of bust
ness will show deposits TO the amount Of
few thousands in excess OF one million dol
lars. Mr.. Warner has strictly kept his vow
that he would draw no salary until the
above-named amount was reached, al
though the board of directors has upon
several occasions endeavored TO fix rate
OF compensation for his services.
s*s
WilNins-which may indicate any one of
several young men--makes brave effort
TO popularize himself In Washington So
ciety, but is such an unfortunate blunderer
that he goes backward oftener than he goes
forward. At tea last week he met the
rich, but rather unprepossessing Miss
Simpkins.
"Cbarmed to find you,n said he, as he ac-
cidentally ran upon her In corner go
ing to the Inaugural ball, presume
"Oh, yes,n she answered, sweetly, "Mr
Tomplins has just
"Tompkins always Tompkins. That
fellow Is my Jete aoir--always in my path.
have been trying to find you for the last
week to ask the honor of attending You TO
the ball, Confound Tompkins I"
"But, Mr. Wilkins" said she, smiling
sweetly, "this time he is not In your way.
lie Just said he was compelled to be In
New York on the fourth, so will go with
you with pleasure
wilkins had just engaged to go with the
lovely Miss Mayfiower, and the remainder
Of the afternoon was devoted to keeping
these women apart. Meanwhile he ar
ranged with himself for sprained ankle
on the fourth.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
A Noted Reformer.

Anarchists Wife-Where are you going ?
Noted Anarchist-To deliver lecture on
"Wage Slavery"
"What win you get for itYn
"All can drink"
"IIuh don't see why you can't get a
little money sometimes Mr.. Worihard
next door always has plenty, and his fam
lily have beefsteak every morning. | can
smell il cooking,n
"Woman Mr.. Workhard is one of
those fool wage-slayes that am trying to
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

OUR ESTEEMED and enterprlsing con-
Temporary, the Post, is publishing series
OF interesting letters in reply to the query:
'What Kind of Husband Do You WantS"
10 be followed by o similar series answering
the question "What Kind of Wife Do
You Wunts" While recognizing the Posts
good work in. this matter, THE CRITIC
must hold that the field has not been fully
covered, and proposes to assist. 1t there
fore asks the ladies "What Kind of
,'l-:, ,slr.-::>,'s"d Don't You Want?' and will pub
cei letters In reply IN next Saturdays issue
The letters--which, by the way, should
not be long-may be of infinite value to the
men as indicating what peculiar qualities
and habits may make them unattractive In
the eyes OF those forwhom the world really
moves
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

The TRIAL OF THE gunboat Yorktown OF
CapelHenlopen shows that she can make
sixteen knots an hour, and in all respects is
complete war vessel. Her armament,
now in course Of preparation at the Wash
ington, Navy-Yard, will consist of main
battery OF six six-inch breech-loading
rifles, secondary battery of two Gatling
gums, two six-pounders, two three-pound-
ers, one one-pouuder and two thirty-seyen
miie-metre rapid-hring guns. Altogether
It will be highly creditable addition to our
naval armament
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
CRITICULAR.


In society:
Mrs Kaystreet-Society becomes very
burdensome with all its demands upon
ones time and energy, don't you think,
Mrs. Rongwerd9
Mrs. X. (who is just learning to swim)--
Yes, think 1t does; but then you know
that's what we are here for, and we've got
to submit TO the inimitable.
II Mr.. Harrison is as aristocratc as he is
charged with being, he will have Noble In
his Cabinet.
There's no use trying to reform Mr. Col
man. He's a misunderstanding of Agri-
culture.
"IIermia Suydnm" is the latest addition
70 erotic literature, and, Hernia Suydam
reckless young woman.
Waiter Ito raw Congressman) VIII you
have your dinner Ia carte, sirS
r, M. c.; No, won't. Pm no hog.
Bring 1t to me on plate.
John Ruskin still uses candles for house
Illuminating purposes, notwithstanding he
is the author of the Seven Lamps of Arch.-
lecture.
The more We think Of the peculiarly warm
weather We are having, the less we wonder
that Greedy never found the North Pole.
A newly-married pair always builds heir
castles.
SEATS ON SALE.
The young man mortgageth all he hath
And ceaseth his dissipation,
In order to buy couple of seats
For the coming Inauguration.
In Society:
The cards are out for teas galore,
And social events cast their shadows before.
Sunday Morning:
He standeth in front Of St. Johns Church,
And cheweth his cane for food. as
He's hungry for love, the maidens say,
But they will not feed a dude e.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
Chiefly Voice.

Chicago Evening News)
Our Mayor Roche, down at Springfield
yesterday, covered himself with glory. He
is said to have been in good voice. That
means that he could be heard three blocks
away from the State-house when the doors
and windows were closed. Mr.. Roche Is
the proud possessor Of the finest "holler'
east OF the Mississippi.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

THE CmTio likes good thing, and is
disposed to recognize IT on all occasions
The Sunday Post was newspaper I'm every
sense of the word, and it should be matter
of pride TO Washingtonlans that they have
now representative in the press OF tn,
country worthy its Capital City. The Post
has taken sudden rank among leading
American journals.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

Those WHO are interested in the sale of
real estate at Washington should be mind
fnl of the opportunity that will be afforded
by the coming Inauguration. 1t is Just the
time 10 employ the columns of newspaper
and give direction to the current of invest
ment. Strangers will be desirous of seeing
the city In all of It's beautiful localities,
and IL will be well TO advise them where
lots may be purchased to advantage.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

A NEW YORK Herald correspondent who
went to interview the Comte de Paris says
he was received in his cabinet dc trdudH.
That reads like the kind of place Mr.
Harrison receives most or his interviewsrs
In. too
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
ProbabIy a nInerenee.
lChloago Inter.oeeanl

INNIcagO Intef'OceanJ
During the past four years II has been the
fashionable dissipation of small foreign
powers to kick the United States. A month
hence the fashions iu this respect arc liable
to change.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
Tharp,s Medical Goods.

There is no dealer in liquors and wines
who is better and more fayorably known in
Mr.. James Tharp, at SlS Il street, for the
purity of the goods he handles, the excel
lenoe of his Old Rye Berkeley Whisky. No
one who has used IL doubts its superior
qualities.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

A CApADIAN pays tax of 5000 for
the support of his. government, while
the American pays $4.S5.. That's why
the Canadians are moving over to this
side. Money is stronger than blood"
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

Nav YORK and Baltimore are having
a war over freight rates in, corn. The
Herald charges that there is q differ
ential of three cents in favor of Balti-
more by the Pennsylvania road.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
A Hook that should Sell.

Chicago lnteroceanD
Opie p. Read OF the Arkaasaw Traveller,
now in this city, has just completed new
novel, "A Kentucky Colonel" lie has Sc
lected peculiar aud popular parsonage
for his hero.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

Tine WAR anticipated between trans
atlantic freight lines, it is thought, will
begin with February 81, the new sailing
date Of the Inman Line.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

CoNGREss Is A QUEER BODY. 1t is the
creature OF the majority and makes laws
for nation controlled by the majority, yet
Il permits itself TO be contorted out of all
seinbiance tot reputable Legislative body
by minority. Attest; The frequent
deadlocks; illbustrades and kindred follies
Of tho House by which time and money are
wasted and no adequate results accrue
what's the matter with reform of ruleY
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18
AMusEMENTs.

AIBAusH's-"The Henrietta"
NAr1orAL--''Miss Esmcralda,"
Brsou--"My Partner"
KEHHsF's--Lsavitt's Folly Co.
GLoBB-yarietics.
CyctonAmA-- Battle OF shiloh aud Uffner's
Roval Md cots
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

MR.. WINDOW declines to talk on the sub
iect of Cabinet appointments. Does. Mr.. w.
want us to believe he has got there
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

"To THE vIcToRs belong the spolls," was
sentence which glared out like a flaming
eye from Democratic newspapers just four
yesfs ago. Why glares II less copspicu
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

CoN9REssMAN MILLS, having failed 10
get a consensus OF public opinion against
the tariff, is now proceeding to buck the
Constitution up against It. Mr.. Mills Is
fertile in resources
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

THE VICTORY in the recent election Of
The Gentiles over the Mormons in Og-
70 n promising sign. Here,
tofore the MorntUns, uy--a-sy-.v...- of
bulldozing, have carried the elections to
suit themselves. There were troops In
Ogden last week, and United States
marshal and men entitled to vote had
that privilege and voted as they pleased.
The result was as indicated above and
is the beginning of the end With alb
solutely free speech and n free ballot in
Utah.the old problem would in time,
solveitself.
Mr.. BLAINE is quoted as having said
that The South will have to work out
the settlement Of the race question on
its own account, and in that connection
II is reported he also said that he would
favor the appointment Of conservative
Republicans, who had outgrown the
bitterness'of war times, to fill Southern
offices
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

The win Of Charles e. Nelson was filed
to-day, leaving his property to his wife.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

The Volks Zeitloag Of Berlin has been con
hseated for libeling Prince Bismarck.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

ously now2 How times change and how
men change with them How we tone
down our views with circumstances ! It
may be added, parenthetically, that this
change OF views is not peculiarly of
Democrats alone
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

If Mr.. Harrison is as aristocratic as he is
charged with being, he will have Noble in
his Cabinet.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

THE PoPH has issued an cncyclical letter
touching various subjects and saying this
of public schools;
"There is no ecclesiastical authority left
in them, and during the years when 1t is
most fitting for tender minds to be care
fully trained In Christian virtue, the pre-
eepts of religion are for the most part un-
heard.'
The Pope evidently forgcts that there
is such thing as home training,
church training, Sunday-school train
ing, and an inherited moral sense
among the majority OF people - at
least outside of Italy. The Pope should
travel and see what kind of world there
is outside of the eleven hundred rooms aud
little back garden of the Vatican.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

Mr. G. A. DANA dignines this Cabinet
guess with leading position ON the
editorial page of the Sun; State-Mr.
Blaine, Maine; Troasury--Mr. Window,
Minnesota; Navy-Mr. Platt, New York;
War-Mr. w. ID. Hoare. Wisconsin; In
teiior-Mr. John l.. Swift, California; Post
ofIice-Mr. Wanamaker, Pennsylvania; At
torney-General-Mr. p. II. Morgan, Louis
lana; Agriculture-Mr. Charles Foster,
Ohio.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

There's no use trying to reform Mr.. Col
man. He's ontirmed-Secretary of Agri-
culture.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

"IIermia Suydamn is the latest addition
70 erotic literature, and Hernia Suydam
reckless young woman.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

The young man mortgageth all he hath
And ceaseth his dissipation,
In order to buy couple of seats
For the coming Inauguration.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

DUBUQUE, IA, Feb. 14-While expert
menting with photography by electricity a
gentleman in this city has evolved ma
chine which promises to be one Of the most
useful OF instruments. II is called bur-
glar detector, and may be used in banks,
torres, factories or private houses. The
machine consists of a camera, with an au-
tomato electrical shutter, which is operated
In conjunction with a ilash-light machine.
When n burglar enters room where the
detector is located he comes in contact
with "somethingn connected with the
machine and there is a sudden flash
and all is dark again. The mag
nesium powder has been ignited, the
burglars photograph taken and the alarm
turned In for the police, all In second.
number Of cameras in different
parts Of the room can be operated stimuli
taneously, thus giving variety of views of
the burglar to he used In tracing or identl-
flying The pictures are taken in the one
hundredth part of a second. If Mr.. Smell
Of Chicago had located one of these ma
chines.in his bedroom Tascott would have
been captured long ago. Several test neg
atives have been made with this machine,
and all are good pictures, showing plainly
the time OF night by the clock and reveal
ing other minute articles in the room The
discovery is a most wonderful one, and may
be utilized with great advantage IN many
ways.-[ -[Globe-Democrat
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

John RusSin still uses candlee for house
Illuminating purposes, notwithstanding he
is the author Of the Seven Lamps of Arch.-
lecture.
The Washington critic., 1889-02-18

Waiter Ito raw Congressman; Will you
have your dinner a Ia carte, sirS
r, M. c.; No, won't. Pm no hog.
Bring it to me on plate.
Mower County transcript., 1889-11-06
PERSONAL MENTION.

Hon Furlong went to St Paul Tuesday.
H NJ Lowell was over to Grand Meadow the
last Of the week.
Mrs Ormanzo Allen returned from Mil
waukee Saturday.
Mr.. Wardall; the Farmers Alliance organ
fzer, was in Austin Tuesday.
MIR Holmes, who has been making short
visit with F A Ticknor, left Saturday
W N Vail, who has been at Spokane,
Washington, Is back for short time.
McGregor Times: Conductor J. A. Morse
and family returned TO Austin on Tuesday
mornings train.
+. Mrs H Wheeler of Red Rock returned Tues
day from a months visit with relatives at
Kearney, Neb.
McGregor Times: Mrs Eugene Potter of
Austin spent few days visiting relatives and
friends in our city.
Mrs Hinman of Chicago and Mrs Waterman
of st Paul were the guests of Colonel and
Mrs Mansfield one day last week.
G Dodge, who has been at Watertown and
Candy, Dak., for the last three years. re.
turned to Austin Monday night.
Miss Carrie Rollins and Miss Mary P. Rol-
Inns are visiting their sister, Mrs o W Shaw.
They will probably spend the winter here.