Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1889-07-30
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
A Strange Way to Insure Letters-A British
Bluff Answered-The Strange Desire of
n Man to Know His Exncr Weight Every


A Strange Way to Insure Letters-A British
Bluff Auswered-The Strange Desire Of
Man TO Know His Exncr Weight Every
H0ur in the Day.
A GENTLEMAN who Is In business In this
city has a correspondent in Texas town who,
whenever he transmits money in any form by
mail. covers the envelope with an astounding
array of hieroglyphics evidently intended to
scare off thieves
He showed me one of those queeriy decorated
envelopes. Along the top of the reverse Side
was written "Decoy letter No. 10-lkm, z. o.
j." Across the flap of the envelope were
drawn rough pen lines, and sideways from the
center the words Private marks" Below these
signs was the inscription: "Witness-O. K. at
"a" with a formidable flourish beneath 1t.
my Texas friend always ornaments his en-
velopes in this fashion," said my informant
''and he appears to believe that postal pilferers
will not dare to touch a letter so embellished.
1t is queer notion to get into business mans
head"
TALKING of making envelopes, had little
experience with British mail clerk in LONDON
last year which bears on the subject.
usually mailed my letters to THE DISPATCH
at the postofice at Charing Cross. 1t was
always necessary to have them weighed. and
the same man. iorid individual of whose
features can only recall singularly bulbous
eye performed the service for me. In order
to insure the latter's reaching the hands of the
proper authority in THE DISPATCH ofnce
with the least possible delay, was wont to
write along the top of the envelope, News.
Important" Every time handed one of these
big missives to the meaty-eyed clerk In the
Charing Cross office noticed that he looked
hard at the legend. "News, Important" and a
em1la If eaory uorld curl his INNER lin.
One morning gave a letter to this clerk to
be weighed and business being little slack,
he took time to say: "Hi suppose you think
that writin News, Himportant on that letter
III make hus 'urry hit through?''
"No." said /, 81 know of nothing that would
make you hurry unless 1t were dynamite"
Ever afterwards when I went into the Charing
Cross Office noticed that the prominent eye of
the facetious clerk watched me warily. think
he suspected me of being an Invincible.
ONE of the strangest habits ever encoun-
tered in man came under my notice few days
ago. 1t CHANGED that circumstances over which
/ had no control conveyed me with the help of
buggy, innocent. except in name of springs,
to a little village in this county which boasts
single store. This store where the summer
sacrifice sale of dry goods went on side by side
with transactions IN cheese, butter and eggs,
more infrequent piano, was my destination.
had to stay in close proximity to some hams
that were loud in their testimony to the heated
condition of the atmosphere for over an hour.
For this martyrdom q single incident in
measure repaid me.
A few minutes after entered the store
moderately large man with face absolutely
devoid of expression, but accentuated by an
immense nose came in and without a word to
hs,.lr
engaged in the profitable and delicate task of
blending tea with chopped hay, stepped up to
the scales, deposited himself thereupon. and
weighed himself with great deliberation. 1
was deeply interested at once, as you would
have been had you been there, in anything that
took ones mind off those powerfully-seented
hams. The stranger on the scales said: Morn
ing p and answered with no more dItfuse-
ness. Iroticed that he weighed 1854 pounds.
That's a nice weight for man of your
build" ventared to remark.
Lost half pound since las Thursday" was
the strangers reply, uttered grumblingly. Then
he went out of the store as quickly as he had
entered 1t.
About 20 minutes elapsed and again the 1851
pound stranger entered the store. He nodded
to mel had retreated to the door step to
avoid alteration with the hams-and then
stepped briskly up to the scales and weighed
himself again. was curious to see II he had
changed in weight. 1 thought he might be
making some experiment upon his own car
cass. There was no change. however. He
tipped the beam at 1854.
Just the same" remarked.
"That's So" said he.
Then he went away at rapid gait. The man
was there to see came in at this moment and
we went outside and pulled two cracker boxes
into the shade of a big maple tree. We were
still talking when the man who seemed SO anx-
ious about his weight came up the road and
walked past us into the store.
II wonder whether he is going to weigh him
self again." said to my friend.
'Of course" was the reply.
"Does ne keep weighing himself all the
timer" asked.
"Never passes the store that he doen't step in
and see what his weight is. He's consider
able sort of a man heTeabouts, and on every
| other point but his weight seems sane enough.
Runs big farm mile from here and makes it
pay. Told me yesterday he had 200 tons of hay
this harvest, and he was going to rest day or
two. Guess he calls weighing himself resting
if he passes this store 20 times to-day he'll stop
a.