The morning news., 1889-04-27
BRIGHT BITS.

SARAH BERNHARDT has at last struck the role
Sne mas been growing up for She has made
IN Looking Glass" Lena" actress thar
sarah does not exist Washington Critic.
FITzPHoPP-Waitah a lobstah. whole and
fully dwessed
WAITER Yes. sir. With or without2
EiTzPRoPP Win or without whatf
WAlTER-The eyeglass.-PhAddeiUh Cdu.
MrNNIE-The idea. Mamie. never thought
you would marry man with a re 1 mustache
MAatE-His mustache isn't red, you hateful
thl1g. And if il were, there's Just as much
tickle to red mustache as black one.-Terre
Haute Express
WHAT is that collar button Of yours made
john asked Mrs. Crimsoabeak OF her hus
Rolled gold, - calculated John, as he climbed
under the bed in search of the pesky thing
fonkers Statesman.
ST.. PETER-For some reason do not recog-
nlze your face. What is that bundle under your
arm2
y oRTAL--Ouly the earth. I
ST. PETER-Step right in this way, Mr.. Gould.
-Drdke's Magazine.
WHO says that the fashion of going out be-
tween the acts at the theater has not its advan.
tagef a lady who tainted in a Chicago theater
recently was Immediately brought TO by kiss
from her husband, who had been out three
tlmes.-YOnker' s Statesman.
A BLOW AT CHCAGo.-Mrs. SDratt-The Car.
ter divorce cas-. viii be a bad thing for Chicago.
Mrs. Spriggs-Why so?
why, it will take a month. and what if the
impression sh ud get out that it takes a month
TO get divorce in Chicago?'-C Chicago Herald.
I'VE a good mind to pitch you out. said
the aeronaut to a young com panion when the
balloon was at an elevation of 10000 feet above
terra firma. You can't frighten me with any
such threat, said the young man, coolly. Il
rode down a half-mle toboggan slide last
winter. '-NoT1istocH Herald
IF YOUNG WOVEN knew what desperate things
young men will sometimes do under the n1u-
ence of disappointed love they would be more
careful how they trihe with their deem affec-
tions. A Boston girl refused to marry a young
man the other evening, and he went right away
and proposed successfully to another girl before
10 o'clock.-Journal of Education.
Mas. WgsrEND-I did not know you were a
CLUB man, MIR. Newcomer.
Mr. Newcomer-I belong to one, Mrs. West
end; an exclusive one it is, 100: only college
graduates are admitted.
How delightful 1t is a literary club, l pre-.
sume?n
No, madam; it is poker club. ."-Phila-
deIDhtd Record
MAI APRoPos.-Miss Hecksher-Why. Tom.
what IS the natter
Tom-rm irretrievably ruinedl Issnt Uncle
Bullion snake ring to-day for a Christmas re-
membrauce
Miss Hecksher-I don't see anything particu-
larry sad aOout that.
Tommy dear girl. ! forgot that he had re-
Gently been confined in the Bayside inebrate
asylLm.-Iime.
SENIOR PARTNER ITO Office boyl-What makes
the cashier so late this morning
He S taken all the cash and gone to Mon
treal, sir"
Where's the clerk -
Hes Skipped to Spain with all the silver.
ware. sir.
Well, where's my partner ?"
Gone TO Europe with all the gold watches.
sir"
Good heavens! Well. see here as long as
all the rest have gone. I'll take the diamonds
and visit South America: and, by the way YOU
can take that basket there, nh it with nickel
watches and cross over TO Jersey. ."-JeiveLer's S
WeeklH