The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1889-02-14
WISE AND OTHERWISE.
A skYlight-The moon.

A skylight-The moon.
"Man OVERLOOKED 1.-THE editor.
Transfers do a driving business.
Revery is nothing if not a musing,
Regular kickers"-Football players.
An old, inveterate smoker-VesuYius.
Pears Soap secures fine complexion.
A clean sweep will raise good deal
of dust.
Beec hams Pills act like magic on a
weak stomach.
The Cinnamon is realist. He takes
his cue from nature.
The hen is not afraid of work she |
lays righl down to 1t.
A soldiers definition of a kiss-A re-
port at headquarters.
The base ball batter has given way to |
the buckwheat batter.
Eighty people are seldom blessed with |
'pinions Of their own.
The man who won his wife on the |
election calls her Election Bet
1t was too many Roman punches that
did the business for Julius Caesar.
The cabinet makers are now at work.
The bureaus will be attended to later.
In the constitution of childhood there
is no more popular clause than Santa
Claus.
Bobtail cars are doomed in Bridge
port, Ct, councils having decided that
they must go.
When executions are made by cleo
tricity they will probably be spoken of
as current deaths.
The American aborigines had none of
your modern tools, but they were ia
miliar with the Indian file.
1t is said that no one can arrest the
flight of time. but who is there who is
not able to stop a minute
THE silent watches of the night" are
well enough, but the chap who wishes
to rise early needs an alarm clock.
The poetess who sings that she was
"KIssed by the Waves" probably fell
overheard near the mouth of river.
Musician put baby in the crib,
ma'am Mother-No, doggie is in the
crib. Wait till doggie has had his nap.
Heidi you ever see the day break
She-No but I've often laid awake in
the early hours of the morning listening
for it.
One objection to the entrance of wom-
en- into politics is the fact that, in nail
ing lies, they would be always smashing
their thumbs.
An Indiana woman has had no less
than five husbands, and is ready for the
sixth, having been divorced from her
last one few days ago.
81 stumped' all through the late cam
paign,n said the one legged man. And
l." said the one armed politician made
a few off hand speeches."
Thirty-five years ago American boys
had aspirations to become President of
the United States. Now their ambition
is to become $4,000 base ball player.
The monograph shows that a mans
voice has not the same sound to himself
that it has to others, thus finally explain
ing why some people persist in singing.
The Maltese cat in Poughkeepsie, N.
Y, drug store, suddenly developed an
appetite for leeches, and while the drug
gists' back was turned ate thirty ofthem.
German student Cooking through his
window at the rain)-In this beastly
weather man can't employ himself ra-
tionallyP Isuppose l shall have to study.
Mr.. Brown-What has become of the
girl you hired Mrs. Brown-Ive sent
her Off She wasn't satisfied with my
hiring her, so she asked me to higher
her wages
A western fakir is selling an adjusta-
BILE engagement ring that can be made
to fit any finger This is something
that young men have been wanting for
a long time.
Mrs. Homespun, who has terrible
time every morning getting her young
brood out of their beds, says she can't
understand why children are called the
rising generation.
Caller lat house in indianapolis
should like to see Gen. Harrison. Ser
yant (reading card) ~. Filkins Jones,
Mind Reader" (Emphatically) You
can't see the general, sir.
Time, 8 a, m. Mrs. Smith is attired
in deepest black. Mr.. Smith (enlering,
What do see? In m-mourning
For whom-for which-for who Mrs.
Smith, am mourning for the late Mr.
Smith.
legislature observes that his town Is well
prepared for the Australian system, il it
should be adopted. lnasmuch as the poll
ing place is barn, and the stalls are all
ready,
When, as in the recent case of Mir
nesota couple, the young man return'
from a sIeiRhride with his right ear fros.
en-, while the young lady's left ear is in
a similar condition, what 10 the infer
ence? The other ears were not cold at all
For the restoration of faded and gray
hair to its original color and freshness
Ayers Hair Vigor remains unrivaled
This is the most popular and valuable
toilet preparation in the world all who
use it are perfectly satisfied that it is the
best.
We have a speedy and positive cure
for Catarrh, Diphtheria, Canker Mouth
and Headache. in SHILOH'S CATARRH
REMEDY. A nasal injector free with
each bottle. Use it if you desire health
and sweet breath. Price so cents. SOLD
by j. I. Shurtleff.
Miss Westend-Here are cards for my
cousins wedding reception but as it i:
in Chicago, OF course l can't go, II
sending my card, should l write ''Con
gratulatione," or anything?
Chicago Aunt-Certainly my dear
write on it MANY happy returns"
Young ladies, on the eve of marriage
now give "spinster dinners" at which
female friends only are entertained
They are allowed to talk of everything
and never fail to mention the numerous
curative benefits Of DIR. Bulls Cough
, Syrup that cures all coughs, colds, bron
chitis, Group, and sore throat.
Why do so many people we see around
us seem to prefer to suffer and be made
miserable by indigestion, constipation
dizziness, loss of appetite, coming up OF
the food, yellow skin, when for rs cents
we will sell them Shiloh's System Vital
izer, guaranteed to cure them. Sold by
j. T. Shurtleff, Bennington, Vt.
UNABLE TO TELL.
Yes, that was so. Foryears suffered
severely with scrofula sores broke Out
all over my body, and am unable tC
| IL L al 4