Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1889-06-21
A ROSE by any othor non,.
cost as much. 'e

50? Gus-I never lend in snns
than $40. Ed-Aw! we'll, lend
$40 bill. Gus-I haven't got it,
JUDGE-What is this man Il,
with, Mr.. Sergeant? Sergeant-W
he was arrested, Your Honor i.
charged with about two gallons ot i
beer.
Toni am quite certain Mr. 81,
is a foreign nobleman in d;sa
Jack-How do you know? TOW
has such dignified way of aski,,
to loan him SO.
FR1ESp-I suppose you write i,
the spirit moves? Poet-Wc],
that is about the way with ME. 7,
when the specter moves. "Tbe !
tcr?" yes; the specter of want
ST.. PETER (kindly)-Entcr.
Spirit (hesitating)-Did Mrs. De n
ion go in here? "No. She went Il
other place" 20! beg pardon
troubling you. Which way is it,"
"0H, DOCTOR" she said across The
ner-table, "have you read this new
that's made so much stir?' ~
book, madame" "This new hool
Amelie Rives, The Quack and
Dead"
Miss SwEETLIPs-Ever since
little girl my papa has sent me a VI
tine. and I've saved them all?
Blunderby-By Jove! what lot !
must have. Then he was sorry for
lie said.
FIRST Citizen-What was the
measure passed by the Legislative
you know? Second Citizen-Ies,
Happened to be in the gallery al
time. 1t was quart measure
with beer.
HUSBAND "a literary manu-
you would stop watching little Did
awhile. Wife-But if 1 don't i
him he'll be in mischief. eyes,
what I mean. When he's in mis-
he's quiet, and I want to write
"AR1sTocEAr, pauper, debtor
what do they mean?" can asaE
my son, is supported by his aacet
ooh, Isee!" "a pauper by his i
temporaries." "Yes, sir; and debj
"By posterity.-CAicago Ledger.
"YEs, I'm so sorey for poor,
Hclen: that horrid George said
have either to give him up Or els
lovely one-eyed puggie.' And she
to give up the dog?" "No; she cav
| George, and puggied died the
! day."
JONAS SHARpw1T-Mr. Van End
have been looking at the hands o.
old clock in your hall and have di
cred remarkable resemblanea
Washington in them. Van Knott
deed! How 50? Sharpwit-Both |
once in revolution.
YouNG Wife--I put pan OF ca
had just made on the back pore
cool off, and tramp came along
stole it. Dispeptic Husband-Ale
sure it was tramp who stole it?
why? 90, I thought it might
been an escaped lunatic."
STERN Parent-Young man, al
tonished at your impudence. You
to marry my daughter knowing be
be wealthy in her own right, while
haven't a cent. Self-possessed
That's all right. What's the aee
my having money when she has pie
THEATRICAL Manager (desponds'
I am undone! Wife-Mercy.
the theater burned down? IVY
That new play on which l spen
much money contains such a tine
lesson that the preachers are adv
people to go see it. Now it wont
enough to pay the ushers.'
Friendly the way, how IS
novel ceiling? Aspiring young 'a
1t 1T selling at all. The
killed it. Il am surprised to hear
l didn't suppose they could say
thing against it. "That was |'''
trouble. They all united IN
that every one should read 1t OIL
count of its lofty moral teachings
Mrs. H1GHup-Such shocking
ries as the papers do tell. lrs'
day Of mother around the corns'
tried to kill her children because
could not get them anything h
Mrs. Higherup-Cruel creature,
I don't know. though. 1 really
I would rather etherize poor HUI
than see him hungry. Marie, T.
you can coax Fido to eat li''''
of that tenderloin.
SHE SIMPLY WANTS THE EARls
The husband want is man who cAu o w.
A record as clean as the new-fallen DD lind
A chart of descent from the very Des IVA d
In the veins Of mankind since tne w.
flood; ~ bin,
A crown Of green laurel his temples oip
A badge that shall prove him mh.s'
A Ia =. e.,