St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1889-04-21
Cyanide WHITES Frightens
Away the New Jersey
Moke Guests.
Tooter Williams Pays a Doll
lar Gladly to Relieve
His Mind.
Theory That "De Kitty Am a
Leak in the Profit at
Pokah."


guests at the Thompson Street Poker
club last Saturday evening on the occa-
sion of his lecture. The regular men,
bers showed up, however, IN force,
there being present MeSSrs. Tooter
Williams and Gus Johnson, Elder Ju-
bilee Anderson. Prof. Brick and Rev.
Mr. Thankful Smith, who, as usual,
occupied the chair. The club was
called to order at s o'clock sharp.
A recess of one-half hour was then
taken, but no applicants for admission
appeared. Tooter Williams volunteered
to go outside as committee of one to
bark and try to induce some citizens
with thirst for science to come and
drink at the pure rills within. but at
forty-five minutes past 8 he returned
without success, and the meeting was
recalled to order.
Elder Jubilee Anderson arose to
question of privilege. The absence OF
guests might be looked upon with in
difference by certain members whom
he would not name, but the absence of
their half-dollars from the club treasury
would be missed at the end of the even
ing if the janitor should drop in
with that long-sutfering kerosene
bill. He did not wish to
make any unpleasant remarks, but
the five guests who remained TO play
after the last meeting had gone home
without their ulsterS or money, and
probably had either to SWIM to HOboken
or work their passage, and he feared
this fact had somewhat damDened the
enthusiasm Oh the other side of the
North river. He therefore desired to
know what the club was going to do
with guests at the next meeting?
"Skun emf exclaimed Mr.. Williams.
"Ordah.' commanded the chair.
''Show me Hoboken niggah, N I'll
show you my meatI" continued Mr..
Williams.
'Ordah!"
"l'll skun amy Moo Jarsey moke
outen he salvation eff it's de lass ack er
my diSsypated c'reer!"
"Tooter Williams am fined quar-
tah.' said the chair.
Pm gwinter 'spress my feelin's in
dis club eff it costs dollah!'' yelled MI.
Williams, flinging a bill of that demoni-
nation on the desk. "Yar l comes wifi
wad, N brak management wifi my
beSS lady, ter rip de hide often some
buckah coon from HOboken, III dar
hain't no suctah come. Pm raw, ! is,
N bilious, II eff it coss me de lass dOllah
got, say it free.''
''Hez-hez yo' got yo' dollah's wuff
now?" calmly inquired the Chairman,
folding the bill lengthwise and putting
it behind his ear. 'Kase eff yo' feels
cOlicky huff ter Spress $40 wuff Ell
feelin's I'll give yo' two minutes no."
Mr.. Williams only reply was to fling
himself haughtily into his seat and
favor Professor Brick with prolonged
and belligerent stare without any cause
ial, no
The breezy interlude having thus
come to an atfable end, Mr.. Cyanide
WHITES assembled the dais, and after an
elaborate bow to the chair, announced
his subject as de Kitty'n JackerS,''
and spoke as follows:
''De kitty am leak in de bar'l OBJ
profits at pokah what oughter be
stopped by ack of kungresh. In de
good old days befo' de wah de kitty
uSeter be Onuy a small slice Outen de
biggest iacker, whad didn't kyount no.
Il white chip Outen One-par pot, N
red chip Outen trees. II blue chip out
Ell de jacker. IN when dey's a big razzle
n de coonS is climbin' one ovah de ud-
der, he steals blue chip on each
rise
'Das de lan's troof.' exclaimed Prof.
Brick.
I'm bimeby whad's de resulk?' IN
quired the lecturer. "W'y, de resulk
am dat de kitty gifts all de Doodle, N de
plavahS gifts bruk.'
"Doan' de kitty pay fer de sassengers
n cigyahs n beer?" queried Mr.. Will
Jams.
"YeZZah," responded the lecturer,
'''n each mOke eats sassengers wen he
dOan wantem, IN smokes mo- cigyahS
dan would kill mewl, N drinks mo-
beer dan would pizen a Milwaukee hog,
SoZeter git he share. Efpokah am onny
fer skin de membahs. ter set up free
lunch costin' mon 81 head, I'll go ter
Delmunniky's IN feed cheapah."
''Wudier 'bolish de kitty?" inquired
the chairman, under the right given
him by article 81 of the constitution
"N0zah,' said the lecturer, "but I'd
put de kitty-keepah undah bOns not
ter blow her into he own stack when de
membahs amt watchin'."
''Whad yO' mean by dat?' queried
MIR. Williams, in voice of war.
Il doan' mean muffin pussonal. loot"
said Mr.. Whites. bud l membah dat
de lass time yo' KEEP de kitty. N we
played twell sun-up. IN all de membahs
got left ceptin' yo', IN yo' raked outen
all de pots, IN took two blues outen
each jacker, de kitty was onny fo'
blues, six reds n tree wites at the en-
OBJ de game, IN de beer bill IN sassen-
gers was Onny $2-dat's what / mean"
I'm didjer spose l swinnle de kitty?"
pursued Mr.. Williams, still unmollified.
NOAH, | Onny spOSed dat de kitty
got meanderin, car'less like, IN crope
inter yo' pile
''Dat's lie!' yelled Mr.. Williams,
who felt that his honor was at stake.
''Ordah" cried the chair.
'l'll pay a fine oh S. ter lick Cy
Whites dis minit." exclaimed Mr..
Williams, capering with anger and
f1ourishing his wad.
make her ten n FL spend de rules. -
said the chair.
''Come outside IN I'll make it
cheapah'n dat" remarked Mr.. WHITES,
preparing to take off his coat.
II done left my razor home," said
Mr.. Williams.
''Tll loan yo' one" said Mr.. WHITES,
Mr.. Williams sat down, and order
was restored.
Oars a limmick on de game" said
the lecturer, an dar should be lin
mick on de kitty. Two sassengers IN
fo' bottles er beer. N fo' sigyahs cost
half er dollah. N six haffs is tree dol
labs, n OATS enuff for dis club, N at de
mex meetn' I'll put in mendmink ter
de rules, PUTIN dat limmick on de
pussy"
"Hooray" exclaimed Prof. Brick,
who was promptly fined 10 cents for
undue enthusiasm.
Now ez to iackers." pursued the
lecturer, Use onny dis ter say. De
game what hez jackers cherry fo' minnits
am game whad gifts good man to go
wrong. Oars no mo- skyence in a
jacker dan in climbin' greezed pole,
bud it's de easiest way ter slide ter de
POI house. In de good ole days befo'
de wah, dey warn't no iackers, N
pokah wuz pOkah n not chuckylucky.