Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1889-11-23
WIT AND HUMOR.

Good dogs when they die 60 to the
happy land OF canine, Of course.-LtJc.
Thc right man in the right place-the
tramp ut the woodpile.-B&rIitgton
Free Press.
There is talk of Ito oyster gettingi in.
10 = trust. Down with the OYSTER
Non&GrS Statesman.
When the selEmadc man goes into
politics he is apt TO find that officials
are machine made.-Puck.
The woman who cuts her hair short
rarely applies the same process to her
speeeh.-Ygre Huute Express.
1t is the man continually cramped
who finds difficulty in keeping his head
above water.-Icras Sytta9s.
There is u great movement on the
part Of the anarchists-when the bar.
Keeper offers to treat to bcer.-Tiroy
Press.
Don't hit q mar when he is down
hit him while he is up q tree, and run
away before he reaches the ground
Puck.
Little Man (proudiy)-"Yes, sir. I'm
n selfmade man" Big Man-"What
was the matter, did the material give
,butP"-7G,Bc.
Mr.. Longbawr-'In fact, Miss Gay
Cor, just act as if | were notherc." Miss
Gayior-'Then FL proceed to enjoy
'fnyself."-Puck.
Teacher-"Why should we all rever-
ence George Washington?" sammy
f"Cos he never got caught in a lie
V$ryc Haute ErprcSS.
LonJy-isVaI Il understand that
you have finally taken n partner" Miss
Hihand-"Yes, and he's going to be q
silent one, too."-Iine.
Mamma-"What did you do at the
cooking school to-dayP" Laura-"O,
we roasted the girls who weren't there"
+-ierre Ha~tc E1press.
Willis-'So your cook has left you.
hh2 Did She 20 off with the hired man?h
Wallace-"No; she went oil with the
Kerosene cam. Y. San.
Don't be frightened. The house isn't
Gaaunted. It's only the hired man get
ding the furnace ready for the tall cam.
paign.-P&Sdurg Chronicle.
There are few society bellies who have
not a record of conquests made with the
assistance OF smokeiess powder. There
as nothing new under the sun.-WQSA.
snJtoB Capital.
The woman who carries her hand.
kerchief in her corsage should remem.
Der the fate of the man in the fable who
warmed n wiper in his boSom.-YerTe
.H60te Express.
5inks-"I was up to my neck in the
sea at Cape May when | proposed to
my wife" Jacquese-"Ah, indeed
Jinks-''Yes; and now / am up to my
meek in debt"-LtgA.
Merryman 60 n bud)-'Out for the
winter at last, Miss PoorgirlP" Miss
Poorgirl (ncither pretty nor rich)-
,'Out for a dozen of them, I'm, afraid
Philadelphia inquirer.
Il hear you we're arrested the other
might for cutting up. Did you make
much noiseP" II suppose did. They
say | woke up the policeman that al.
rested me."-M. ]. Sun.
Parrott-'I see that young Tom
Grafton has got his name into the news. |
papers" Jawkins-"Good gracious
be- not 10 politics; What d!ssraeeluI
Watermelon seeds were found in an
Egyptian tomb that was 1000 Years old.
There vas no doubt about their being
watermelon seeds, because the mummy |
was all doubled w. 1rfas SyiingS.
Aplomb: Hc-"Oi course YOU know
the Epic Of lladcs'?n She-"I think
I've met him, but I'm NOT sure. One
meets 50 many of these queer titled
peop.c lowadays. Is he nice?"-Jady.
The increasing popular desire foI
modern conyeniences legitiElates the
belief that the court room of the future
will be supplied with wooden iurymen.
built in by The contractors Washing.
&n Posi-.
Mrs. MISUNDERSTANDING grows
more like me every day" Mr.. Ma
ginnis-'FThat's a fact. Nurse saws he
lost his temper nine times in eleven
minutes yesterday. "-Pi3adetphia IN
qHiret.
Ihe man who likes his W talk best
should be shut up with a monograph;
but such a man is not satisfied unless
other people heafhim. That is what
makes him a nuisancc.-NeW Orleans
Picdyune.
'Ah. dcah boy, you must be cahful, |
don't you know! / am afraid YOU will
get veal tipsey." ''Why, Hawwy, you
know never drink anything" NO;
but you've been mixing youah chewing
gum Washington Capital.
Some of the daily papers are COM
t%nenting on the appearance in active
Efe OF lady burglars. This is no novelty.
however. Only n few years ago almost
every lady you met regularly held up 4
train.-Baltinaore american.
First Clubman-"Miss Aimhigh is to
marry Scrooge. whom she just met
last week. Isn't that rushing things a
bitF" Second Clubman-'O. no. He's
Got $3.50, 600 a year and can't live an-
other month. philadelphia Inquirer.
Mr.. Observation-Disclosures is a
very serious business Mr.. Candid
Arc you contemplatiug Jpn Mr.. F.
n am" Mr.. C.-"Wei l should say
1t is a mighty serious business for the
girl, whoever she is."-BostOn Courier.
Tramp-'Win you give me a chance
tokgct warm, sirr Man OF house.
Certainly. sir. You know that saw