The Arizona sentinel., 1889-03-09
COURTEOUS SPEECH.
The Family Plain Speaker and Her Friend
the Family Nagger.


the Family Nagger.
Were it not for the difference we
allow ourselves between our manners
to strangers and our manner to home
people, l should not think of dwelling
on the beauty of courteous speech, for
our Young America-male and female
is now receiving training in social
speech which is somewhat akin to that
which produces the two girls so wittily
taken off in the English newspaper
squib. Meeting at ball, one says to
the other: ''Oh how glad l am to SEQ
your
"Thank you, dear, I am glad you
are gladr'
"How sweet of you! I am so glad 1
am glad if it makes you glSd!"
We have not got TO this length yet,
but I am sometimes bewildered and
sometimes little bored, by the excess
i've manner of some very young ladies
who meet the simplest act of courtesy
with torrent of "How sweet in you"
-''how good of you"-or, Thanks so
very much" And who, when any
thing disagreeable must of necessity
be said or done use an amount of
trouble and tact which makes busy
people wonder where the time is found
for so much ceremony.
don't mean to complain of this
however-gushing manners are not in
the best of taste but they are better
than no manners at all-but while
this sort of manner is being cultivated
in public what are we doing to secure
the genuine politeness of home life-a
politeness born of patience and for
bearance and thought for others.
imagine that there are few households
in which conditions do not arise con-
tinually which are tests of this genu-
inc courtesy; and alas! many brothers
and sisters-mothers and daughters
who love each other devotedly can not
bear this strain of family life and con-
troll the habits of their tongues.
Even if the sharp speech and cutting
reply are held in check, the habit may
be to make rude and outspoken
criticisms of each other. "How badly
you look, Maria" ''How shallow you
are" Dear me! what a great pimple
you have on your nose," just as if the
sufferer did not already possess, and
writhe under, this knowledge.
And any teasing about an unfortu-
nate feature-how it cuts and hurts!
No amount of repetition ever makes it
endurable! This should be called
brutal-not impolite.
Or the criticism may be on the dress
and TASTE -'Maria, why did you make
your dress with puffs? They are very
unbecoming. maria, that color
makes you look like a fright" And
Maria, who must wear the dress till
there is nothing left of it, never puts
it on again with any comfort
No one-not the greatest of us-can
avoid the sensitiveness which shrinks
from these small stings-our minds do
not belong to the order of Pachyder-
mata, and remembering this why may
not the same amount of friendly inter-
est be conveyed in terms less offensive
"a possible improvement suggested,
or would not complete silence on the
subject be more comfortable?
Hardly less disagreeable than the
Family Plain Speaker is the Family
Nagger who is so energetic! Who
would like breakfast at dawn and
each subsequent hour filled with
its duty, who is always want
ing somebody to do or say something.
AS long as these desires were con-
fined to herself there was no harm
done, but when her will to rule be-
comes so strong that she must manage
and drive the entire family-the Nag
ger is an uncomfortable comfort and
the feeling of resistance to her springs
up. Often her rule is good and whole
some for US and we know generally
her suggestions are wise and right
yet in every healthy person the idea
seems inborn that he can best manage
| his own affairs, and interference even
from the best loved must therefore
come with gentleness and discretion,
and with unfailing courtesy.-Ladies'
Home Journal.