The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1889-02-01
BRIGHT BIS.

SOUTHERN HOTEL advertises among its Attrac-
lions ''parlor for ladies thirty-five feet vide -
nheR occupied that parlor must look like a
Gle.
FIRST BUSCo STEERER-What. in luck again ,
oecond Bunco Steerer Well, kinder; police
were getting onto ny racket and 50 am tell
ing fortunes a. church fairs. There's more
money IN lt--ItGae.
JONES. who is an inveterste diner-out is also
a oit OF philosopher. THIS Is MS latest mot"
hear great deal said about tie SiowneSs of
the turtle, but notice that he generally arrives
IN time Tor the soup. Judge.
Mas. GUzzLEroS ION the stairsl-This is a
great TIM OF night for you 10 be coming home.
John GuzZleton!
Mr.. Guzzleton consulting his watchl-You're
wrong, m dear. It's the smallest time IN the
Whole day. just / O'Clock, pom nor,-Jl.dgs
CALIFosSIAN-What? Afraid Of Chinese re
prs is? No, stree.
Philadelphian--You know our army is small
no matter, sir II worst cones to worst ! i
raise an army Of patriotic Nurcujson lester
au; and defend the stat myself. "-Paild-
detDs Ia Record.
MISS TRAvIs-Did the Browning Society meet
last night:
Miss De Smith-Yes; but We didn't talk much
evening.
Miss Travis-Pre.ty much the same thing
Burlington Free Press.
Mas. HoBsoN-Your husband is very fond Of
1o1 hunting is he not Mrs Vancouver
Mrs N6ncOuver-Ies. il Iced verv
Mrs Hobson-How many bars can lie take:
Mrs Nancouver-I don't know exactly; but |
have heard it said thar ms capacity at bars is
very great.-NeU York sun.
JoHS H. ALLEN has written very concise and
comprehensive volume on The Tariff and Its
Evils - We have examined the work e .r.tl w.
and discover tuat iJ has totally overlooked tie
leading evil OF the tariff, tO-wIt. q amount Of
nav ant ,r.+ H.
lasting talk about Rehabilitation Fost
WILL you have a piece Of this nice mince pie.
Tommy SAID Tom uy's aunt with whom he
was taxing lis dinner
Please, rna'am," replied the little fellow.
holding his plate; ''tu- YOU lnl ut mt Two UiecS
on now; mamma has Taught me never To mass
my plate back for the second piece. g. Yoakers
statesman.
GOOD CITIZEN (readingl-The preachers Of In
dianapOls have decided that it takes SO much
valuable dnn t. open the legislative sessions
with prayer That hereafter they viii charge S.
for that service.
Old Lady -Dearie me! I never expected TO
see the day when even the preac1 would get
together and form prayer trust PHILADELPHIA
Record.
welLdressed old fellow became interested in a
young man. y gu are just arting out in life.
l suppose said the old fellow.
Have you any idea as to what Won inland 70
do?" ~
None whatever"
What would you like to do;''
Il don't know. | don't think have apv
special fitness for anything"
Got no leaning toward any calling, en-"
None"
why, then, have you left home?"
We'll, the truth is, was bored. Ny brothers
and sisters are musicians. and their PLAYING an.
noyed me. "
You dont like music, them
Il despise it."
can you sng?'
Not ano'e
young man." said the old fellow speakIng
with emotion, you need feel no further anyi-ty
concerning your future. I VIII give YOU a grand
opportunity. / an the manager Of au ,,D.ra
C Impany, and want you. '-ArEaaSalU I, o.
eler.