Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1889-09-04

such an example as that in your re-
sponsible position. 1t would be moral
suicide.''
ssYou interrupted me,'' said the other
coollv, 81 was going TO say good hot
dose of ginger tea taken every night
was a sure cure for cold"
''OhI''
OUT OF CONDITION. - Hostess -
''HIiss Hightone, won't you sing for
us?''
Miss Hightone, society soprano
''Really, you must excuse me tonight,
L have such a cold.''
Hostess-''Mr. Lowvoice, L am sure
you will sing.''
Mr.. Lowvoice, society basSo-''Par-
don me, but do not see how can sing
tonight; haven't cold.''
QUITE RIGHT-Mrs. DumpSey-
''For shame, Williel You have been
lighting again. Your clothes are torn
and your face is scratched. Dear me,
what trial you arel | wish you were
a girl-girls don't fight"
Willie Dumpsey-'Y es, ma, but do
you not think it better to have a good
square fight and get all the mad out of
you, than to carry it around, the way
the girls do, for months:"
HE EXPLAINED.-''Mr Affable, l
have looked over your expense account,
said the head of the house, peering over
his glasses at his travelling salesman,
''and there is one item here do not
understand. 1t is mucilage Sis. What
does that mean?''
lit MEANS" said the salesman, who
had ha1 afaH
was correspondingly reckless. lit means
that is where you got stuck"
Mr.. GRUMPY, of Hoboken-''Mary
Jane,''
Miss Grumpy papa
Just ask that young man from the
West if he isn't running his watch on
| Chicago time. 1t was IL O'Clock here
an hour ago.
EGGs AND EGGs.-"Waiter, bring
me couple of soft boiled eggs
Voice at next table-'.The same for
me. But, waiter, be sure they are
| fresh.''
.'All right.'' Walters voice in the
distance-''Four soft boiled eggs; two
must he fresh.''
''CAN you play poker,'' asked a tour
ist of travelling man who wsss occupy
ing the same parlor car with him.
"Well, said the traveller, in a hesI-
tating tone, Il don't exactly play. L
understand little about the game, but
L will try couple of hands with you if
you like''
NO" said the stranger positively
I've changed my mind. 1t hasn't
been two weeks since l tackled a man
who didn't think he could play.''
\ LOGICAL MIND.-''Oh, papa, how
funny you are still aliveI'' said Master
Tommy, aged five, running up to the
bedside of his father, who had been at
tackled by an epidemic disease. why,
there's Mr. Smith, neXt door, has just
been buried, and he was took sick Il
whole week before you"
FIGURES LIE SoMETIMEs.-Bobb
Papa, how many feet are there i'll one
yard?"
Papa-''A linear yard contains three,
a square yard nine and and cuDic yard
q feet.''
Can't there be more than % feet in
any yard?"
NO"
That's where you're off. Our barn
has got ten cows i'll it, and each cow
has four feet, which makes 40 feet.''
SELDOM ENCOURAGED.-Rev Prim-
rose-''I our mother must take a great
interest in you, my little boy. Does
she always praise you when you are
goOd?''
Little Johnny-"Naw. She never
pats me on the back except when she
thinks I'm choking.''
LOOK here, Pete,'' said knowing
darkey to his companion, don't STAN
Oh the railroad.''
''Why, Joe?''
''Kase if de cars see that mouth of
yourn, dey will tink it am de station,
an run rite in.''
at the United States Assay Office are
specimens OF pure tin obtained by as
saying rock forwarded by Professor
Bailey, the geolOgiSt of Wyoming Ter
ritory. 1t is stated that the specimens
sent average over 15 per cent. pure tin,
and that vast masses of such rock are
found in the Black Hills, while the
''black stuff'' which has long ANNOYED
the gold miners i'll that region, and is
found in great quantities, appears to be
''stream tIn,'' brought down from the
hills by the action of the water, and
aSsaying about Al per cent. pune tin.
These statements, if true, are of the
utmost Importance to the country.
Deposits as rich as these are said to be,