The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1889-05-02
THE LIME KILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner's Illustrations Are No
Received in a Friendly Spirit.

Brother Gardeners Illustrations Are Not
Received in Friendly Spirit.
"De subjeck of our discushun dis eavenin', -
said Brother Gardner, as the meeting opened
in due form, sis: DO We Expecl Too Muchg
1t ar matter dat | hev devoted a heap O.
thought to, an | hev cum to de conclushun
dat we do Las mite when l went to bed l
had twelve chickens in my coop l expected
dar' would be jist twelve dar' when l woke
up dis mawnin'. Had any right to! No,
sab; but when l found only seven left 1
jumped up an down an felt dat de hull
world was agin me.
I'VE expeck to go right along frew life
wallln' on our ears an feelin as peart as a
calf, an when sickness seizeS us we pear to
be astonished dat SIGH things kin be.
I'VE go to bed at night countin' on de
incest sort of weather for tomorrow, an
when we wake up an find de rain comm
down we feel dat great injustice has bin
done us.
II lend de Rev. Penstock a dollar, an ex-
peck he will repay Lie on Saturday. l hain't
no right to expeck It, but l do, an git left.
Mebbe doan' git it fur month.
"Waydown Bebee sends his chill'en ober to
my house to borry tea an coffee an soap an
fiat irons l confidently expeck to git 'em
back, but dey nebber come.
las human beins we ar unreasonable. We
goes sloshin' around like steam bullgine
'Specktin' eberybody will cIar de road an Civ
US a free track We doan' count on cons
biles, headache, rheumatic sore throat an
lame backs, an we reckon on dodgin
droughts, freshets, billiards an yaller fever u
Shindig Watkins begged to differ with the
president. He argued that person was born
into this world to take comfort. He had a
right to expect good weather, reasonable
cash income, lots of holidays and the right to
keep seven dogs. Why should a person ex.
pect to wake up and find boil on the calf Of
his legl 1t was more reasonable to expect
that it would appear on some other man leg.
It wasn't expecting too much, as he viewed
it, that the hens he left peacefully roosting on
pole at o'clock in the evening shouldn't be
on deck at 6 in the morning.
The Rev. Penstock, who had been very IN.
easy for the last five minutes now arose and
inquired:
Il would like to inquire if de cheer claims
that owe him a dollars"
''No, sab; not jist now," replied the chair.
'Iwould furder inquar' if I cher borrowed
dollar of de cheer an didn't return it,"
''You hev allus returned it, sab. 1 used
your case simply to illustrate. If you had
borrowed dollar of me an hadn't returned
it dar' wouldn't be muffin to Illustrate. Did
you wish to speak on de question:"
mo, sar I simply desiah to cl'ar my
fnanchul reputashun in de eyes of de world
"Den you kin sot down. Your inanshul
reputashun ar way up in G"
Sir Isaac Walpole said he was in accord
with the president He believed it was the
great fault of mankind to expect too much.
Men sat on the fence all summer and expected
to live on roast beef and mashed potatoes all
winter They expected to get the smooth
Shedding and leave the rough roads to some
one else. Men who couldn't pay their house
rent expected good clothes and piano in the
parlor He sought to be reasonable in his ex-
pectations. The extreme limit with him was
expecting his landlord to repair the plaster
of the kitchen ceiling, and he had been
knocked out on that so often that he had be-
come discouraged.
Waydown Bebee said that he arose to q
question of jurisdiction. The chair had made
statement which he could not pass unnoticed.
While it was true that he lived next door to
I
borrow groceries, he had always made it an
inflexible rule to return the loans. Did the
president mean to insinuate that he was
derelicta
"Dis char reckons you spaid it all back, u
answered the president. II was simply 1us-
train my remarks. might hev meant dat
when lent you Java coffee 'spected de
same kind back, but got Rio instead II you
hev no remarks to make on de queshun at is,
sue you kin sot down"
"But feel dat my integrity has bin i'm
pugned, sahI"
"You is all wrong Your integrity has
muffin to do wild it, You isenergetic huff to
keep plug hat fur Sundays, an honest huff
not to be cotched by de purleece. OATS all,
sab, an you'd better sot down"
Giyeadam Jones said be had given fifteen
minutes solid thought to the inquiry now be-
fore the meeting but had not been able to
decide the matter 1t seemed reasonable that
man with a boil on bis right foreleg should
expect tho public to pass him on the port
side, but be would surely be disappointed It
would seem as If man was put here to enjoy
himself, and as if he could expect dark nights
in the watermelon season and good weather
for Sunday school picnics, but the biggest
melons always came with full moon, and
the picnic always had q shower on tho way
home, if not sooner. He did not desire to
commit himself at this time, but would adj
init that he leaned to the affirmative.
Gen Colfax, Judge Holdback, Professor
jackson, Uncle Davis and others spoke on the
question, and the discussion was then closed
and vote was taken. 1t was found that the
query was carried in the affirmative by a
large ma jority.-Detroit Free Press.